Title: My Whole Existence Is Flawed
Category: Books » Twilight

Author: americnxidiot
Language: English, Rating: Rated: M
Genre: Romance/Humor

Published: 01-08-09, Updated: 11-25-09
Chapters: 6, Words: 18,320

Chapter 1: Sic Transit Gloria

AN: So I take a break from writing some angst to come here and write the
angstiest lemon I’ve written for the “You Get Me Closer To God” couple. But
anyway this takes place before the story begins and was mentioned in passing in
Chapter 4: Weekends. Also it was typed on a Blackberry, so sorry for any typos.

This one goes out to ElleCC who asked for this to be written weeks ago :) Angsty
Edward, just like you requested.

Disclaimer: I don’t own Twilight.

Sic Transit Gloria… Glory Fades

Edward

The empty bottle of Jack Daniels that the two had shared lay discarded beside them
on the floor. Her beautiful long legs, the ones that had been wrapped tightly around
my waist just six days ago in my bed, straddled his lap. The tongue that knew the
crevasses of my body better than I did was publicly groping and tangling with his as
her hands sloppily worked their way through his short blonde hair. The soft, tiny
hands that should have been in my hair.

Fuck.

I couldn't think about that. Why was I letting myself think about that? Oh right.
Because I'm a masochist who won't tell the girl I'm crazy about that I'm crazy about
her.

The same masochist that told Bella I didn't care and laughed when she'd drunkenly
tried to apologize later. I just ruffled her hair and drove her home.

I'd been sitting in my room since I'd woken up this morning moping about this. Of all
people to fool around with in front of me, did she really have to pick fucking Mike
Newton? He was such a fucking weasel. At least pick someone like... no. I only
wanted her with me. And that was a problem.

It's my own fault. I was too much of a dipshit to tell her any of this. Even if I did have
the courage I'm pretty sure Bella would run away screaming. Plus I'd actually been the
first one to act in our fucked up little game. Lauren Mallory. I never thought a
blowjob would make me feel so disgusting.

But even though I had no right, I was upset with Bella. For proposing this whole fuck
buddies thing, for being completely blind about my feelings, for caring so little...

My mother's voice rang up the stairs and I sighed loudly. I knew I was being
melodramatic, but I didn't care. I wanted to just stay on my bed and wallow so that all
of these bad feelings would be out by the next time I saw Bella. But doing that would
bring questions from my family that I really was not ready to answer.

I put on my best “annoyed face” and ran down the stairs, letting the warm smell of
Esme's delicious cooking momentarily distract me. Italian food tonight. Bella was
Italian for beautiful. Stop it, Edward.

The four of us sat around the table, even Carlisle who was actually home at a
reasonable hour tonight. Ridiculous hours. I was definitely not looking forward to that
part of being a doctor. We sat around and spoke casually for a few minutes. Alice
rambled on for a while about some upcoming dance recital, which saved me from
having to speak.

Ten minutes and a third of the way through my chicken parmesan, my phone buzzed
in my pocket. I flipped it open under the table and read.

Can you come outside? I'm at your house. -B

My stomach turned at the thought of seeing her right now, but I knew our dining room
table could be seen from the street. She knew I was home and I couldn't just ignore
her. Not without more questions I wasn't ready to answer.

"Mom?" She glanced up to me with a curious stare. "Tyler from down the street just
texted me. He has some emergency with his car and needs my help. I'll be back as

soon as I can, okay?" Esme smiled and nodded and I felt a little guilty, but that was
the least of my worries.

I leapt up from the table and walked through the front door. I stepped foot onto our
front walkway and was instantly grabbed by the wrist and dragged to the dark side of
my house. Bella pushed me up against the rough siding, pressing her lips firmly onto
mine.

Her soft moan that was only for my ears was heard by the entire room as Mike ran his
hands over her ass. She ground her hips into him and he squeaked in surprise.

Fuck. Again.

I was stronger than Bella, and removed her forcibly from me with ease. Her face
turned pleading, completely unaware of my inner turmoil. "Come on, Eddie. I need
something to wash the taste of Newton from my mouth." She laughed. I wanted to
throw up. "I can't believe you and Alice let me mack on him in front of everyone. He's
fucking gross."

My mood was incredibly bitter and I could barely control the words coming out of my
mouth. "This is the first and last time I do this, Jellybean." The affectionate nickname
had never sounded so sour. "I don't fucking do sloppy seconds."

She smiled, and fuck me she was beautiful, then aggressively pressed her hips to
mine. My cock reacted instantly and my mind was only a second behind.

My hand immediately went for the band of my sweatpants, pushing them down just
below my hips. The yard here was dark and fucking cold, but that wasn't stopping me.
My body could claim her even if I couldn't. A hand moved to her zipper and shoved it
down. Bella gasped at the harsh movement and shimmied her jeans down her legs,
leaving her in her panties. They were ugly, old things. Fuck that. I grabbed the waist
band and yanked, tearing the fabric off her hips and shoving it in my pocket. Bella
tried to pull my face to hers but I didn't want to kiss her. I wanted to fuck her and
show her I was the only one who could make her feel this way.

Bella groaned, too loudly considering where we were, when I lifted her by the ass and
pushed her into the house. I tried to be gentle. Even if I was angry, I didn't want to
hurt her. She slammed her hands above her on the siding and moaned, "God please
fuck me, Edward." Her breath was unusually calm but I was gasping. I unintentionally
verbalized a passing thought, "This is so messed up," but Bella was too focused on
getting my cock that she didn't hear me. This girl was going to be the death of me.

But with one look down into her burning brown eyes, barely visible in the dim light, I
remembered why I did this. Because this was Bella. A girl who was beautiful and
hilarious and was begging me to fuck her. I would take any piece she was willing to
give me.

With a shudder from both of us, I pushed into her. "We need to be quiet," I managed
to grunt as I pulled out and slammed back into her. Warm and tight. Bella. Her head
fell onto my shoulder and her breathing finally caught up with mine. The yard was
silent apart from our gasps and the few animals that were scattered amongst the trees.
One hand holding her tightly between the house and my body, I let my free hand
wander to her nipples, pulling and tweaking her through her shirt until she moaned my
name quietly like I knew she would.

She was mine if only for this moment.

Her head turned toward my neck until her tongue found my ear, seeking the spot that
made me cry out for her. My knees shook when she found it and sucked hard, a low
"Bella" escaping between my heavy breaths.

I was hers until she pushed me away.

Her wandering tongue set me off and I pounded into her at an increased speed, her
muscles clenching around me wildly as she approached the edge.

"Bella, look at me," I gasped, so near ecstasty that I could barely stand. Her eyes met
mine and my mouth crashed onto hers. My lips couldn't stand to be away from hers
anymore. I wanted her to think of my kisses and my touch, not Mike's, not anyone
else's. She sucked on my tongue for a second and then bit down on my bottom lip and
I was gone, taking her down with me. My body pressed heavily into hers against the
side of my house as I released into her, marking her as my physically, if only for a few
hours. She finally collapsed onto me and I lowered her onto her feet, my legs too
shaky to hold her anymore.

Bella laughed breathlessly and I laughed with her as we adjusted our clothing. Great
sex is the best kind of mood lifter. "Fucking amazing, Edward. I really needed that."

I smiled at her, not angry at all anymore. "Yeah, me too." I glanced at my watch. We
had been out here for fifteen minutes. "I have to go back in. I have two thirds of a
piece of lukewarm chicken parm waiting for me." Bella laughed and nodded, and then
ran across the street to her car without another word. I watched her until she drove
away.

This thing Bella and I had? It was messed up. And it was dirty and unrequited and
fucking fantastic. But I knew at that moment that I would not be the one to end this.
Because Bella had me wrapped around her finger, even if she didn’t know it. And I
would take what she offered until she found someone she really liked.

I felt bad for whoever had to deal with me when that day came.

AN: This was heavily inspired by “Sic Transit Gloria… Glory Fades” by Brand
New, angsty teenage frustration at its best. Any song you feel could inspire a
great lemon? Maybe one time that was mentioned in the actual story that you
want to read about? Just let me know in a review. Again this is purely for fun,
and doesn’t change the story at all.

Thanks and review :)

Chapter 2: Scarlet Begonias

AN: You guys know what that chapter title means: it’s “Bella and Edward’s first
time” time! I haven’t been with this Bella for a while (and C&C’s Bella is much
sweeter) so cut me a little slack. Also this is a Bella who hasn’t had sex yet, so
she’s not quite as sexual aggressive as YGMCTG Bella… but still is. A little bit.

This one goes out to Hanniedee, Creampuf99, and ElleCC for requesting this :)

Disclaimer: I don’t own Twilight.

“Scarlet Begonias”

Bella

I was here to see Alice.

I was here to see Alice.

Yeah, keep telling yourself that, Bella. Let’s just ignore the fact that you know Alice
has dance today, and let’s ignore that you know he is home and that his parents are
not. Edward and I had done this dance twice before already. One of us happens to

show up at the other’s house while that respective sibling it out, and then one thing
leads to another, and we end up fooling around. Though to be fair, I think Edward was
honestly looking for Emmett the first time.

I couldn’t get him out of my head, as much as I wanted to. His smile, the way his eyes
looked when he came in my hand or mouth, his bronze hair even more mussed up
after I had my way with him, his fingers… his fucking fingers. They were magical.
And he hadn’t used his mouth on me yet, but I’m sure it was magical too. I mean it
wreaked enough havoc on my heartbeat already, and that was just when we kissed or
when he lavished attention on my neck or breasts with his talented tongue. If that
didn’t happen today, maybe I could ask him next time.

Great. Now I’m planning a next time.

Don’t get me wrong, Edward is great, and I had never been so attracted to someone in
my life. But love and relationships just complicated things. And between Emmett and
Alice and Charlie and my mother, it really was not worth it. My desire to avoid the
extra stress outweighed my desire for a relationship with Edward. But it didn’t
outweigh my desire for his body. God, I sounded like a fucking teenage boy.

But it was true. I had always envisioned sex as this unattainable thing, the final
frontier. And now that the very real possibility of fucking was staring me in the face, I
wasn’t afraid at all. I wanted him, and it nearly killed both of us to stop the last time.
My body was telling me it was ready, so why should I let anyone else tell me
otherwise?

Including Edward.

I was going to fuck him today, and there was nothing he could do about it.

My finger pressed into the doorbell, and I could hear it echoing throughout the house.
Several tense seconds later, Edward opened the door. He smiled when he saw it was
me, an eyebrow raised.

“So are we going to pretend this is an accidental meeting again?”

“Cut the bullshit, Cullen,” I scowled right before I threw my arms around his neck and
forced his lips onto mine. Not that he objected at all. Edward’s mouth fell open and
his tongue met mine aggressively, slamming the door behind me and then pushing me
against it. The spark that I always felt me when he touched me exploded into a fire,
and demanded that I get as close to him as possible. Edward seemed to be thinking the
same thing, because his strong hands slid down my back to my ass and lifted, letting

me wrap my legs around his waist. We both groaned when I accidentally slid into the
growing bulge in his pants. So I did it again.

“Bella,” he muttered against my neck as he attacked it with lips, teeth, and tongue,
“Can I take you upstairs to my room?” He bit my shoulder gently and I moaned, but
somehow managed to nod. Edward gripped me a little tighter, palming and squeezing
my ass, and kept his mouth on my neck and shoulder. We got to the stairs quickly, but
then he paused, taking a very careful and deliberate step up the first stair. Then he did
the same with the second.

“Why the hell are you going so slowly?”

“Shut up, I don’t want to drop you,” I stifled my laugh in his neck and instead pressed
a kiss near the back of his ear. His knees buckled, “Fuck Bella, you can’t do that if
you want to get up to my room in one piece.” Well that was interesting. I’d have to be
sure to try that spot again once I was on my own two feet. Or on a bed.

Finally, almost a minute later, we were inside his room. He set me down on the bed
and ran over to his speakers, choosing a song quickly on his iPod and then practically
running back to me.

“Sublime, eh Cullen?”

“I just picked the first playlist I saw. And now if you don’t mind, I’m going to kiss
you.” His lips crashed down onto mine and it was passionate and raw and fuck, I
needed him inside of me. Those gifted fingers danced along the bare skin of my
stomach at the hemline of my shirt and moved upwards, little by little, bunching the
fabric. We broke apart when breathing became necessary and I worked my way down
his neck with open mouth kisses. Curious, I kissed the same spot I had earlier. I
cheered internally when he groaned loudly and pushed my shirt up a little further.

I was already tired of the teasing.

“I want you to fuck me,” I whispered, pulling his earlobe between my lips and then
letting go with an audible pop. Edward shuddered above me right as “Scarlet
Begonias” started again for the second time. But he didn’t move any more, and
actually stopped removing my shirt, his hands frozen halfway up my chest.

“Edward?” He sat up onto his heels and I followed, leaning back on my arms.

“I’ve never done that before,” his voice was shaky, and this was the least confidant I’d
ever heard him.

I shrugged, “Me neither.”

Edward stared at me for a few seconds, “Are you sure, Bella?”

“Are you sure, Edward?” I worried for a moment that I was pressuring him into
something he didn’t want to do and frowned, stroking his hair comfortingly, “We
don’t have to have sex if you don’t want to.” I was horny, but I wasn’t that much of a
bitch.

But he just scoffed, “You think I don’t want to?” And then that sexy grin lit up his
face. “Then I’ll just have to prove you wrong, won’t I, Bella?” He yanked my shirt
over my head and pushed against my shoulder so I fell back against the bed. I moaned
loudly when his tongue swiped over the roof of my mouth. He was practically
devouring me. And I loved it.

My hands tugged at his shirt and he helped, pulling off his shirt and coming back
down to me. The rest of our clothes were off in minutes, hands groping, our mouths
exploring skin we hadn’t tasted before. I hadn’t actually seen him completely naked
before. The other times we just removed the necessary clothes, and got down to
business. But not now. We were taking our time. Edward started at my feet, kissing
and licking the skin as he moved up my leg. It was driving me crazy, and I was
squirming on the bed frantically. When he started placing kisses on my inner thighs, I
couldn’t take it anymore. It was too much.

“Edward, do it now, please.” I sounded so desperate, but who the fuck cares. Edward
placed his chin on my stomach and looked up at me, searching my face and eyes.
Finally he found was he was looking for and smiled.

“Grab a condom from my nightstand.”

“I’m on birth control, we don’t need that,” then I frowned, “Wait why do you have
condoms? Expecting to get some, Eddie?”

He shifted uncomfortably and started talking really quickly, “No, no, no, see, on my
last birthday my dad felt the need to give me the safe sex lecture and gave me a box, I
promise I wasn’t–“

I grabbed the sides of his face and kissed him, “I was just kidding, Edward. Can we
please do this now?”

“Scarlet Begonias” started again and I had lost count, and Edward settled between my
legs. My heart raced, both from nerves and anticipation, and he linked his fingers with

mine above my head. “Just squeeze my hands if it hurts, okay?” I nodded and was
really happy he wasn’t going to pull that ‘I can’t bear to cause you pain’ shit. It’s
always going to hurt the first time.

Edward pressed his lips to mine gently and pushed into me, slowly but steadily. There
was a sharp pain when he broke my barrier and I clamped onto his fingers. Holy
motherfucking fucker shit that hurts. I focused on the man above me as most of the
pain faded, but not completely. Edward’s mouth was wide open above mine, his jaw
slack, and his eyes were shut tightly as he pulled out and then pushed back in again,
which was a little uncomfortable but no longer painful.

“Fuck, Bella, you’re so tight. I’m not going to last long like this.” His movements
were a little erratic as he pumped in and out of me, but he was still going a little slow.
It was pleasant, I guess, but I wasn’t feeling any great pleasure from this. And I felt
bad, because I could see he was really fucking trying to make this last for me. Guys
never last long the first time. And the girl rarely cums the first time either, so what
was the point in dragging this out?

I freed my fingers and wrapped my arms around Edward’s neck tightly, pulling his
face to mine and sucking firmly on this bottom lip. He moaned my name against my
mouth, but I continued, nipping at that lip a few more times. Edward had great lips,
full and pink, but still masculine. God, he was sexy. My mouth trailed over to that
new spot behind his ear again, and I kissed it chastely before trailing my tongue along
the sensitive skin.

He hissed and his hips shifted, and I don’t know what was different now, but when he
pushed in again, a burst of pleasure shot through me. He pumped his hips again, and
hit me at that angle again, and holy shit. I moaned loudly against his ear, and the
vibrations were too much for him. Edward spasmed above me, and I still wasn’t used
to how beautiful he was when he came. His cheeks and chest were a little red, a light
sheen of sweat on his skin and in his hair, and his eyes were closed in ecstasy.

“Bella,” he groaned, drawing my name out for several seconds before collapsing on
top of me, breathing heavily. His leg made contact with my center and I pressed up
into it, trying to get more friction. That hadn’t felt good until the end, and now I was
still horny, unsatisfied, and annoyed– something that had never been a problem with
him.

Edward lifted his head off my shoulder and spoke, pressing his lips to mine excitedly.
“Bella,” kiss, “That was,” kiss, “fucking incredible,” kiss, “You are fucking
incredible.” He pulled on my chin and opened my mouth, twisting our tongues, and I

continued my failed attempts to get more friction against his thigh. I hated to bring
him down, but damnit, I was too aroused for this.

“Edward?”

“Yes?” he replied against my collarbone.

“Could you help me out?”

God this was fucking awkward to ask and of course he didn’t understand what I was
saying, staring up at me happy and a little smug, and completely unaware of my
problem.

“With what?” He palmed my breasts, thumbing over my nipples. I gasped and arched
into his touch.

“You know...” I trailed off and tried to tell him without words, pushing my hips up
into him, but he still didn’t get it, and continued to play with my breasts, placing
kisses along my neck and upper chest.

That fucking song started again, and Edward was still clueless, “I really don’t, you
sexy, incredible girl.” His lips wrapped around my right nipple and fuuuck. “I’d be
glad to help if you could just tell me what you need.”

“Can you fucking get me off please, you’re killing me here!” His face shot to mine
and I felt bad, because I meant to be a little more tasteful with that. He looked
surprised and guilty and I wanted to sink into a hole.

“Bella I’m so so sorry, I didn’t even realize… It felt too good, I wasn’t paying
attention.”

I smiled at him gently and grabbed his hand, guiding it down between our bodies and
letting go when I reached my hipbone. “It’s okay Edward, just… please?”
Immediately his hand slid down the rest of the way, playing with and separating my
folds, gliding between my clit and my entrance. He pushed two fingers in and I
gasped.

“God Bella, you’re so wet. I’m sorry.”

“Cut that shit out, Cullen,” I moaned, shifting into his hand, “You make me feel so
good.” Just like the first and second time, Edward seemed to know my body better
than I did. Everything he did just aroused me further. And I was already pretty gone

so this wasn’t going to take long. Within a minute or two I was writhing and rocking
my hips into his palm, his fingers moving in and out of me and his thumb pressing
into my clit in alternating strokes. And then his head fell into the crook of my neck,
pressing kisses and then sucking gently, and that was enough. My hips jerked up into
his hand and I clenched around his fingers. No better fucking feeling in the world than
this.

I calmed down and kissed him with a laugh, “Thank you, thank you, thank you
Edward. God I fucking love your fingers.”

“You shouldn’t be thanking me, that was a mess.”

Edward looked so bummed out, and I rolled my eyes, “You do realize you just got
laid right? Why are you frowning? Just because I didn’t come when we were
fucking?”

“Well,” he ran his hands through my hair, “Yeah.”

“If I had gotten off, you would have to have a magic dick or something. I was a
virgin, and so were you, that’s how it works.” Edward smiled a little, and I relaxed,
letting my head fall back onto his comfortable pillow, my arms stretched up over my
head.

“You’re awesome, Bella.” I laughed, and patted him on the cheek.

“I know.” He laid his head onto my chest, relaxing for a moment before we had to get
dressed again.

“Can you do me another favor, Eddie?”

He placed a chaste kiss on my breast. “Sure, what?”

“Can you change the fucking song?”

AN: Right when I started to write the part when Edward gets Bella off, “Touch-
a, Touch-a, Touch Me” from Rocky Horror came on my iTunes (which is on
shuffle), and Edward in gold spandex came back to mind. Hah.

Thinly veiled attempt to continually pimp out my entry for the SMC Contest
aside, keep the song and moment ideas coming. And please leave a review,
because I love them :)

Next time on “My Whole Existence is Flawed”, our favorite couple tries road
head!

Chapter 3: Something in Your Mouth

AN: Here you go Kelly. Hope it’s everything you wanted ;) I’ve never actually
written one of these before, so we’ll see. By the way I hope you all get a laugh out
of the song choice as much as I did. Thanks YaoiAndTwilightFangirl!

Disclaimer: I don’t own Twilight.

“Something in Your Mouth”

Bella

“You are such a fucking tease, Isabella.”

“Don’t call me Isabella. And I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I responded
flippantly, making sure to graze my fingers over his lower back as I passed by him to
get to the pencil sharpener. He hissed and I smiled to myself. This was too fucking
easy.

I knew he was watching me so I made sure to shake my ass, just a little, dancing to a
song in my head as I cranked the sharpener. Making sure to pull my sweatshirt up
enough so that he could actually see my ass, of course. I heard a crash behind me, and
I turned just in time to see Edward picking up the box of blank slides off the floor.

“Mr. Cullen please watch what you’re doing. Those aren’t cheap.”

His voice was tight and low, “Sure, Mr. Banner. Sorry.”

Edward was really horny, and I almost felt bad, but I knew it would benefit me later
today. I shivered in anticipation. I spun on my foot and strutted back toward my lab
table, curving my lips into an 'o' and blowing the shards of wood on the end of my
pencil. Edward’s eyes narrowed at me and he huffed.

“Did you break any of them, Eddie?”

I smiled innocently and he scowled again.

“Oh, you’re going to be in trouble later, Jellybean.”

I reached in front of him, so to the outside observer it would look like I was just
grabbing a slide. My lips were a few inches from his ear when I whispered, “I’m
counting on it.”

He groaned and I laughed. A few months ago I would have felt ridiculous trying to
act… sexy like this. But it really didn’t take much to get Edward worked up. And he
was ready for me twenty minutes ago. Now I was just having fun. I ran my tongue
over my lips and peered into the eye of the microscope. “This is a plant cell, so we can
only see the cell wall, the mitochondria, and the chloroplasts. The chromosomes
aren’t concentrated in one area.” Microscopy was easy, and this lab was created for
middle schoolers.

“Wow Bella, I love it when you talk science to me.”

I chuckled quietly until I felt his presence, very close to my back. I could feel his
breath on my ear, and he had set an arm on either side of me. “Mind if I take a look?”

“Not at all.” I gulped and steadied my voice, because this was my game. I couldn’t let
him get the upper hand, because honestly it didn’t take much to get me worked up
either. Edward was too damn sexy for my own good. He moved his arm to let me out
and looked into the microscope.

“You’re right. Those are the only three you can see.” He made a note on our paper
and then loaded the next slide. I grabbed a blank slide from the box and set it flat on
the table, using the tweezers to place the next leaf on the glass. I picked up the water
bottle, but before I could add water to the make the wet mount slide, Edward backed
up and hit my hand with his elbow. Water shot out of the bottle, covering my hands
and the table. Oh this was too perfect.

“Edward,” I whined, “you got me all wet!”

I sucked the water off of my right thumb, attempting to look innocent, and Edward
inhaled his gum. He choked and coughed loudly for a few seconds. I patted him on his
back and fought back a laugh. “Easy there, Eddie boy. Don’t hurt yourself.”

Edward shook his head once he swallowed the gum and muttered, “Such a fucking
tease.”

We continued like this for the rest of the period. As soon as Edward made some
ground so that I was almost at his mercy, I would say or do something that made his

knees buckle. He was practically panting at the end of class, which was fucking
golden for me.

The bell finally rang so we put the microscope away and gathered our books. Edward
leaned toward me suddenly and sneered, “If you’re not at the corner after school, I
swear to fucking god, I’m going to come to your house and screw you silly regardless
of who’s there. It’s your choice.” I bit back a moan and my lip as Edward threw his
backpack roughly over his shoulder and then left the room without another word.

The next few hours were agony. Luckily in gym, Mike Newton felt the need to talk to
me while we played wiffleball. He was the anti-Edward, and I was almost back to
normal ten minutes into the period. When the bell finally rang I was dancing in place,
the anticipation making me jittery. I walked swiftly out of the gymnasium and out of
the school, cutting across the parking lot to the brief stretch of woods that led to the
corner.

I guess I was a little too excited, because Edward wasn’t even there when I arrived.
The silver Volvo pulled up a few minutes later, stopping abruptly in front of me. “Get
in,” he barked as he threw the door open, and I was as ready as he was, so I practically
leapt into the car. He pushed the car into gear, tires screeching against the pavement
as we sped off.

But when I looked at Edward’s face he didn’t look excited. He looked… angry?

“Jesus, Edward, are you pissed?”

He glared at me momentarily before returning his eyes to the road, “Do you have any
idea how difficult it is the walk down the hall while trying to cover up a hard-on? I
had to actually take off my jacket and hold it in front of me so everyone wouldn’t
see.”

I instantly felt bad. It was one thing to tease him when we were alone or if I could do
something about it. I didn’t mean to give him blue balls at school. Glancing down at
his lap, I could tell he was already hard again. Well, shit.

“I’ve been thinking about your fucking thumb in your mouth for the last hour.”

“Really?” I knew that was suggestive, but I didn’t realize he liked it that much.

“Are you kidding? Just you wait, Bella, you’ll see how much you affect me soon
enough.”

His foot pressed a little further onto the gas, in a hurry to get us somewhere with a
bed. Then I had an idea, a fucking epiphany if you will.

I could wait, but Edward didn’t have to.

I tapped my fingers for a few seconds on the center console, and then slid my fingers
left, over the leather and onto his thigh. He inhaled sharply but didn’t say anything. I
danced my fingers up and down his leg for a few moments, and grinned slightly when
I saw the bulge in his pants grow a little. I moved them gradually over to the button of
his jeans and flicked it open with one hand, something I had learned from practicing
on him in the last month.

“Bella,” he asked shakily, “what are you doing?”

I glanced up at his face innocently. “Well you said you enjoyed my thumb in my
mouth," I looked down purposefully to his lap and then back to his eyes, "I figured
that you might like this a little more.”

He moaned quietly and the sound went straight between my legs. “Jellybean, I don’t
know if I can drive while you do that.”

I didn’t answer right away, but pulled down the zipper and yanked lightly on his jeans
until he lifted his hips to help me. “Well, we won’t know until we try, will we?” I
flipped my hood over my head with one hand and adjusted my seatbelt so I could lean
forward. My mouth hovered a few inches over his boxers and I let out a purposeful,
hot breath. His hips jerked slightly and I chuckled. My fingers traced the skin of his
stomach above the fabric and then pulled it down over his erection.

No more teasing.

Edward groaned loudly and tightened his grip on the steering wheel when I pressed a
chaste kiss to the head of his cock. I licked my lips and tried not to grimace. I’d only
done this a few times and I wasn’t really used to how that tasted yet. But his reaction
was totally worth it. I lightly licked him from base to tip, my tongue flattening over
the top.

“Bellahhh.” I grinned against him before slackening my jaw and taking him fully into
my mouth. “Shit.” I repeated the motion a few times before pulling off him and
licking my palm. I learned this trick the hard way the first time I tried to give him a
dry hand job; he didn’t like that very much.

Then I went down on him again, using my wet fist to stroke what my mouth couldn’t.
Every few seconds Edward let out some little noise, whether it be a grunt or my name,
and that was why I did this. There was no better way to boost my confidence then to
bring Edward Cullen to his knees while I was on mine.

Edward drove over a bump on the road as I was on a down stroke and his hips jerked
up, his cock hitting the back of my throat. I gagged and had to get off him for a
moment.

“You okay there?” He asked, his voice gritty with arousal.

I smiled apologetically and continued to work my hand, running over the head and
then down again, “Yeah just give me a second.” I took a couple deep breaths until I
was okay, and then leaned forward again, twirling my tongue up his shaft before
taking him into my mouth again. I knew he didn’t mean to do this, but he was
thrusting lightly into my mouth with each stroke, and I had to lay my left arm across
his waist to hold him down.

My right hand wandered as my mouth and tongue kept working, trailing between his
legs until I found his balls. I trailed my fingernails over the sensitive skin lightly and
then took them into my palm, squeezing gently.

“Fuck, Bella!” The car jerked to the right and he slammed into my throat again. I sat
up, retching and coughing, and thank god I didn’t throw up because that would have
been fucking mortifying. He pulled off the road quickly into the lot of an empty
soccer field a few trees away from the street, almost shoving the car into park. Edward
turned to me, eyes wild. “I almost just crashed the fucking car.”

My hands flew over my mouth, “I’m so sorry!”

“Don’t apologize, just… ahh– please help me out here. I’m begging you.” He looked
like he was in pain, his breaths coming in gasps and his face a little pink.

My eyes widened in understanding. I glanced out the window to make sure we
couldn’t be seen and then immediately got back down to business, taking as much of
him between my lips as I could and sucking. His fingers wove into my hair, assisting
me with my movements, as mine drifted between his legs again. He really must have
been fucking close because I opened my jaw as wide as I could until he hit the back of
my throat, with my consent this time, and that was all it took. Edward’s hands
tightened almost painfully in my hair as his cock jerked and released into my mouth. I
swallowed it quickly. The idea of having jizz in my mouth long enough to spit it out

was just disgusting to me. With one last sucking movement, I pulled him out of my
mouth and put him back into his boxers. He could fix his jeans himself.

Edward didn’t say anything for a few seconds, so I unzipped my backpack and
grabbed my plastic container of tic-tacs, popping three or four into my mouth to mask
the taste. I should just carry a toothbrush with me in case of emergency.

“Holy shit, Bella I love your mouth. There is no better sight in the world.”

“Sorry I almost made you total the Volvo,” I muttered sheepishly, running my hand
through my hair to smooth out the tangles Edward had caused.

But Edward just laughed, “Well we’re never doing that again, but seriously, never
ever apologize for that. Ever. You're too damn good.”

I giggled breathlessly with him and he pulled his jeans up, fastening them quickly. But
once the amusement faded, the incredible ache between my legs came back with a
vengeance, and I didn’t want to wait anymore. I was horny as all hell.

“Eddie, I believe you said something earlier about showing me how I affect you?”

His laughter stopped instantly, and an excited grin crept onto his lips. Without another
word he put the car into drive, pulled back onto the road, and continued along the
familiar route to his house.

AN: So the ending is a little abrupt, but I really had no idea how to write
blowjobs. I think it turned out okay. And I couldn't resist using the word "jizz"
haha. Nickelback isn’t my usual style of band, but the song was too fucking
perfect. “Cascade & Cyanide” is next (I think), so that should be in the next few
days. I needed some Eddie and Jellybean first. They’re happier. Oh, and come
chat with us over in the YGMCTG thread on Twilighted.

I thrive on reviews, so do that, and keep the ideas coming :)

Chapter 4: Tear You Apart

AN: This is my thank you, because you voted and You Get Me Closer To God won
the Eddie for best completed novel. I was not expecting that at all. Thank you
guys so so so much. I started this installment a month ago when Iswann had an

absurdly sexy siggy of Rob smoking a cigarette on Twilighted, but was distracted
by “Cascade and Cyanide”.

freakyhazeleyes– this is for you, my lovely. I’m giving you shifty eyes right now.

And remember, I’m out of practice with lemons. So I apologize for any
awkwardness. This one is set somewhere after their first time and before the
Mike Newton incident.

Disclaimer: not mine and not betaed.

“Tear You Apart”

Edward

Eight days.

Fuck.

I hadn’t been inside her in eight days.

Shit.

Thanks to a combination of unexpected ice on the roads and Thanksgiving, Alice
hadn’t had dance practice. And because someone up there hates me, Rosalie and her
family went to visit her grandparents over the holiday, so Emmett had called me to
hang out almost every day. I had never been this sexually frustrated in my life.

And Bella was such a fucking cocktease. She knew we wouldn’t have any
opportunities to be alone, and went out of her way to remind me. She sent me dirty
text messages, one time even sending me a picture of her tits. She made innuendos
and mentioned things that would seem innocent to the outside observer, but that she
knew would turn me on. I had never wanted her as much as I did this last week. And
she knew it.

I could see the glint in her eye when she caught me staring at her during lunch, or
when she “accidentally” brushed against my ass in biology. She got so damn smug
when she got me worked up. I would have been pissed off if I didn’t know that she
was as frustrated as I was. She just hid it better.

For eight days, Bella had been making my head and my cock ache every chance she
could, and sometimes even without trying. I mean, it was her. All she had to do was
absentmindedly bite her lip or flip her hair, and I was at attention and ready to go. For
eight days, I’d had all build up and no release.

But not today. I was getting off today if it was the last thing I did.

My face was hard and determined as I headed toward the cafeteria. I could see Bella a
few feet in front of me, and I needed to get to her before she sat down at our table
with our friends. I side stepped around three younger boys, and nearly ran over poor
Angela Weber in my hurry, grabbing Bella’s wrist just as she stepped through the
door. Her hair almost hit me when she turned around, bombarding me with the scent
of strawberries, and her brown eyes widened and darkened when she saw me.
Dropping her hand, I smiled at her in the way I knew she liked.

“I think you need to buy some food today.”

Bella glanced at the brown bag in her hand and her fuckable lips rose into a smirk. “I
think I do,” she replied, shoving the bag back into her backpack. I stood right behind
her in the line for sandwiches and got as close as I could without making my
intentions obvious to everyone else.

“Listen,” I whispered, making sure she could feel my breath on her ear, “I’m not
going to fuck around anymore with this. I really need to see you.” It was barely
noticeable, but Bella shuddered and I grinned at my success. “Please say you’ll come
home with me today.” My voice was intentionally thick with desperation, knowing
that she enjoyed that shit. Bella loved to bring me to my knees. I loved her more when
she was on hers. I mean, I didn’t love her… fuck, I couldn’t think about that right
now. It was irrelevant anyway. I knew how Bella felt.

Bella ordered her usual sandwich, ham and American cheese with light mustard, and
gave me a fleeting look. “I’ll met you there. Emmett drove us, but I’m pretty sure he’s
going home with Rose.” She pulled a five-dollar bill out of her pocket and focused on
that instead of me. Still, I noticed the way her cheeks and neck flushed lightly, her
chest rising and falling slightly faster with each breath. She was aroused, she was
beautiful, and she wanted me. I’d have to be a fucking idiot to complain about our
situation.

Lunch passed as expected, and Bella smirked knowingly when Emmett asked her if
she could drive the truck home. The sexual tension between us was palpable, even if
no one else could sense it. I was hyperaware of everything she did, every sip of her
drink, every crinkle of her nose when Emmett said something distasteful. I also

noticed every time she glanced at me, and that only made me more anxious. I was
going to have fun with her today.

- - - -

“Where the fuck is she?” I mumbled to myself. School had ended an hour ago, and I’d
been home for forty minutes and Bella still wasn’t here. My dick had been throbbing
painfully since I’d stepped in the door. Every time it started to subside, I would think
about her ass or her eyes or even her fucking elbows, and I’d be hard as a rock again.
Bella, without even really trying, had completely captured me in every way. But even
so, I was getting tired of waiting for her.

Just as I was about to pull out my phone to call her, I heard a rhythmic knock on my
front door. I’d barely had it opened before Bella leapt onto me, her lips slamming
against mine so roughly that I almost flinched. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I
heard the slam of the door and the clink of her falling keys against the wood floor, but
I didn’t give a shit. My hands almost immediately unzipped Bella’s jacket and started
tugging at her shirt. Our mouths separated when I lifted the cotton barrier over her
head.

“What took you so long?”

Bella reciprocated, hastily removing my shirt, “Does it fucking matter, Eddie? I’m
here now.” Her lips found mine again, teeth and tongue aggressively working my
mouth while her hands went to my zipper. We hadn’t even left the foyer yet. Her
fingers were surprisingly dexterous given her clumsy nature, or maybe she was just
really horny, but Bella had my jeans on the floor in seconds and her own on the floor
a moment later. She attempted to pull away from my mouth, but fuck that.

“Don’t you fucking move, Jellybean,” I practically sneered at her, “you’re not going
anywhere.” My tongue sought hers again while my fingers worked her bra, unhitching
the clasp and letting it fall to the floor, my hands eagerly cupping her beautiful
fucking breasts. She was so perfect for me, just the right size to fit into my palm.
Bella’s hips jerked forward into my erection and I groaned loudly into her mouth. Her
slow steps pushed me backward toward the steps. A shudder ran through me every
time our barely clothed lower halves collided and my control was fading fast.

“Let’s go upstairs,” she moaned breathlessly once the backs of my legs bumped into
the first step. Her tongue worked its way up my neck, and I knew she was headed for
that weird spot behind my ear, the thing that would break the last bit of my will
power.

No. She was not getting the power this time.

Grabbing her shoulders roughly, I spun Bella around and held her in place with my
hard-on pressed into her lower back. “I told you not to fucking move.” My mouth
enclosed around her earlobe and I sucked gently, letting one hand work her nipple
while the other drifted further down her stomach. “Do you have any idea what this
week has been like for me?” I rolled her peak between my fingers and she could
barely stand, which made me pretty damn proud. Planting wet kisses down the long
column of her neck, I continued. “With all of your fucking teasing?” Bella writhed
against me when my other hand slipped lower, stopping right above where she wanted
me most. “Looking at my phone, seeing your gorgeous tits and knowing I couldn’t
touch them?”

“Edward,” she moaned my name and jerked backward into me and I snapped. “Please,
can we go up to your room? I’ll fuck you, blow you, whatever you want just… please.
I need you.”

I was too fucking aroused at this point to appreciate how sexy Bella was when she
was submitting to me. My mind could only focus on one thing at this point. Turning
us around so Bella was facing the stairs, I lowered my mouth to her ear again. “After
this week? I don’t just want to fuck you. I want to fucking tear you apart, Isabella.”
She moaned again at my words, and I took it as encouragement. “Bend forward.”

Bella turned her head slightly, her burning eyes meeting mine in confusion. “Here?”

“Like this.” I bent over with her, planting her hands firmly on the fourth step. I was
being more aggressive than I normally would have. But she seemed to be loving it,
and I was loving the view, Bella’s entire body in line with mine as I guided her to
where I wanted her. I’d dreamt for months of taking Bella from behind like this, but
we had never actually done it. And no matter how horny I was, I still had to make sure
she was alright. I broke my tough persona for a moment, allowing my affection for
her to appear in my voice. “Jellybean, is this okay?” I caressed her side lightly and
sucked on the sensitive skin below her ear.

“Just fuck me, Eddie. I know you want to.”

And she didn’t have to tell me twice. My fingers worked their way to the heat
between her legs and I groaned against her neck. She was so fucking wet already. I
wanted to tease her longer, but I needed her now. I couldn’t wait anymore.

It was a little more difficult to maneuver like this. I patted Bella’s inner thighs and she
understood, moving her legs further apart to make it easier. She was spread out before

me, ass in the air and her pussy was bare and open, for me, and she was so fucking
ideal I could barely stand it. I was the only one who’d ever seen her like this. It was at
moments like these that my too strong feelings for Bella were difficult to ignore, but
lucky for me, I had more dire problems right now. Grabbing my dick firmly in my
hand, I pressed against her entrance and pushed forward slowly, listening for any
noises of discomfort as pleasure spread through me. Holding onto her hips and using
that as leverage, I began moving in and out of her. Bella pushed against me slowly,
almost gingerly.

“You okay? Does this hurt?” The words were gritty when I spoke. It felt so good, I
could barely talk, and the thought of stopping was almost torturous. But I would for
her.

“Keep moving,” she moaned quietly. “Just give me a few seconds to loosen up.”

I did as she told, pumping into her at an even pace, even though every nerve in me
was on fire and was screaming for me just to pound. Fuck, even when I was trying to
be more dominant, she controlled me. I couldn’t find it in me to care.

Soon enough Bella was moving eagerly against me, and I sped up, allowing more of
my instincts to take over my movements. The stairwell echoed with our groans, which
made me impossibly more aroused as I moved in and out of her slick heat. From this
angle, I could see the light sheen of sweat on Bella’s back. I could admire how
beautiful her figure was and how fucking sexy it was to watch myself sliding into her.
Plus the friction for me in this position was unreal. Nothing could possibly feel as
amazing as this.

“Harder, Edward.” Bella was pushing against the stairs, meeting me with every thrust
now. “Faster.”

Well, fuck, if that’s what she wanted. Leaning forward so that one hand was pressed
beside hers on the stair, I pushed into her more quickly, and let my free fingers grab
hold of her longhair. Taking care to be gentle, I pulled her head up and twisted it so I
could see her face. Bella nearly shrieked when I did that and pursed her lips, drawing
mine down to hers with the gesture. The kiss was rough and deep, teeth clashing in
our desire to be more connected, my cock still pumping into her and our breathing
harsh and loud. After only a few more seconds Bella ripped her mouth away.

“Fuck! Harder, please.” Her arms were shaking and her face was scrunched up, mouth
open with pleasure and I couldn’t control myself anymore. I released her hair and
planted both hands firmly on the stair, and I fucking pounded into her, my orgasm
approaching at an alarming rate.

“Fuck, Bella I’m gonna cum,” I warned her in a groan. I wanted to attack her neck
with my tongue, but I was moving too quickly behind her. She moaned loudly with
every thrust, pushing back against me just as hard.

Her arms gave out then, and her elbows held her up on the stair with her head down. I
could feel her quivering around me as her orgasm finally gripped her and it all was
just too much. With one last rough thrust, I felt my dick spasm inside of her and I
released into her, coming harder than I ever had before and barely able to hold myself
up. And then I couldn’t anymore, and I collapsed, my cock slipping out of her and my
body pressing Bella’s into the stairs.

We were both gasping for breath and after my ability to think returned, I rolled over,
taking a seat and leaning back while I recovered. A muffled chuckle caused me to
open my eyes right as Bella stood from the stairs, only to plop down on my lap in an
almost intimate gesture. She straddled my legs and smiled brightly down at me, but I
knew better. That was her “I just got fucked silly” face. There was no intimacy here.

“Don’t make me wait eight days again, Jellybean. I’m begging you.” I grinned
sleepily at her, my hand gripping her sides gently.

“I don’t know, Eddie.” Bella leaned down and pressed a kiss against my lips. “If eight
days is that good, maybe it’s worth the wait.”

I glared at her, not at all amused by that idea, which of course made her laugh more.

Bella’s smiling lips moved to my neck. “Alright, since you don’t like that idea, how
about round two?” She gently sucked behind my ear and I groaned, already feeling the
blood returning to my cock as I stiffened slightly. Bella pulled back and smiled again,
brown eyes dancing and her hair messy from my fingers. Her hand moved down
between our bodies and I gasped, completely entranced again by this sexy, amazing
girl.

God, I loved her.

Fuck, I was in trouble.

AN: “Tear You Apart” is by She Wants Revenge. I admit, I went a little “fuck”
crazy… I rarely get to swear in C&C.

Anyway thanks again. I love you all, and I can’t tell you how shocked/excited I
was when I heard that YGMCTG won on the live podcast. I was at a McDonald’s
with wifi at the time and got some pretty strange looks hehe.

Leave a review :)

Chapter 5: A Little Less Conversation

AN: This one goes out to and was crafted for imjacksbrokenheart, who bid $350
in the Support Stacie April Author Auction (that’s a mouthful heh), and then
was sweet enough to share her story with all of you guys. Elvis owns the song, but
I recommend the JXL remix. Not the sexiest song, but come on…. “A little less
conversation, a little more action… open up your heart and baby satisfy me”?
Perfect. Thank you Kelly, Elle, and Christina for reading this over for me. It's a
little different tone than the normal ones since it's set after the story ended.

Disclaimer: I don’t own Twilight or The Picture of Dorian Gray.

“A Little Less Conversation”

Set in November during their sophomore year of college

Bella

“… Unconsciously he defines for me the lines of a fresh school, a school that is to
have in it all the passion of the romantic spirit, all the perfection of the spirit that is
Greek. The harmony of soul and body – how much is that!..”

I nearly growled in frustration when I realized I hadn’t actually read any of the words
on the page. I had to read this novel for my Monday literature class, and I really
needed a distraction from the fact that I hadn’t seen my boyfriend in three weeks.
Reading usually worked for me, but not today. I missed Edward too much. Sometimes
I wondered when I became such a fucking sap, but I had stopped caring a long time
ago.

I shook off my melancholy, and turned the volume up on my computer, before turning
back to the purple book in my hands. Maybe music would be enough to force me to
focus.

“… The harmony of soul and body – how much is that! We in our madness have
separated the two, and have invented a realism that is vulgar, an ideality that is
void...”

My mood fell again. I certainly had no problems enjoying the harmony of soul and
body, and I hadn’t since high school. Edward and I just fit. And though I knew it was
good for us to go to different colleges, to pursue our own goals, it didn’t stop me from
bitching about it from time to time.

This was ridiculous. After thirty minutes of reading I’d only made it to page nine, and
that was unacceptable. I needed to get through this thing. I gripped the pages more
tightly in my hand, perhaps thinking that if I held it intensely then I would have no
choice but to pay attention.

“… an ideality that is void. Harry! If you only knew what Dorian Gray is to me!”

Well fuck that. Thanks a lot, Oscar Wilde.

I tossed the traitorous book to the floor and collapsed on my bed in a huff, grabbing
my phone off my desk as I curled up on the uncomfortable mattress. I was feeling
lonely and awkwardly turned on after reading about Basil Hallward’s admiration of
Dorian Gray, and I really wanted to call the only number that could make me feel
better.

But I had already left him two messages this afternoon. I knew I could probably call
his roommate and find out where he was, but I wasn’t that lonely that I couldn’t see
how crazy that was. Nothing’s a bigger turn off than being the stalker girlfriend.

So instead I pouted on my bed and let the music wash over me. I knew it wasn’t either
of our faults that we hadn’t seen each other in so long. This was the first weekend in a
while that I didn’t have an essay to write or a midterm to study for, and he
unfortunately had a paper due for Tuesday. But this was the longest I had ever gone
without seeing him since we’d met, and it sucked. It sucked a lot.

I don’t know how long I laid there, but I guess I fell asleep because the next thing I
knew, the loud buzzing of my phone jerked me out of my slumber. I found it amongst
the tangled bedding, and flipped it open without reading the screen. There was only
one voice I wanted to hear anyway.

“Hello?” My words came out gravely, and I yawned once to clear the sleep from my
tone. My heart leapt when he spoke, his warm voice filling me with that familiar
completeness.

“Oh, I’m sorry, baby. Did I wake you?”

I frowned. “Since when do you call me ‘baby’?”

“Yeah,” he muttered sheepishly, “I was just trying it out.” I could almost see him
running his hand through his hair in embarrassment, and my stomach clenched again.
I couldn’t think about things like that. He called me. We were talking. That had to be
enough for now.

I forced myself to lighten up and giggled into the receiver. “I think you should just
stick with ‘Jellybean’.”

“Are you honestly giving me permission to use that nickname?” I heard the smile in
his voice, and rolled my eyes. He was so easy to please sometimes.

“Eh, I guess you could say it’s grown on me, Eddie.”

He just chuckled, but I knew I was still the only person who could get away with
calling him that particular name.

It was quiet for a few seconds, and that irritating loneliness crept upon me again. “I
miss you, Edward. Three weeks is a long time.”

“I miss you, too.”

His voice was too soft, too sad, and I knew if I didn’t do something I was going to end
up crying to him on the phone. That was not something I enjoyed doing. So I changed
the subject the best way I knew how.

“You know I’m going to jump you when I finally see you, right?”

“Is that so?” I could tell he was smirking.

“After almost a month without sex? Are you kidding?”

“Damnit,” he muttered, “I’ve been trying not to think about that.”

“Really? Because it’s kind of all I can think about.” That wasn’t exactly true, but I
knew he’d appreciate it. And I was right, smiling to myself when he groaned.

A voice in the background spoke to him, and for a few seconds I heard mumbled
words being exchanged. Then Edward sighed and said the last words I wanted to hear
right now.

“Bella, I’m really sorry but I have to go.”

I tried not to sound as disappointed as I was, but I don’t think it worked. “Okay.”

“I’ll call you later tonight, alright?”

“Sure.”

“I love you, Bella,” he whispered, effectively turning me to mush again.

“Love you, too.”

As soon as we hung up, I rolled over, groaning loudly into my pillow. Now not only
was I lonely, but I was horny too. Perfect.

I’d never really had to masturbate when I lived in Forks. I could just call Edward. But
it had sort of become a necessity since being at college, so instead of just wallowing
in self-pity and arousal, I flopped onto my back and closed my eyes, thinking of
Edward and the things he could do to my body. My hands moved slowly up and down
my sides, before drifting to brush across my breasts. I touched and fantasized until
finally I was in the right place to… get things going.

I slipped a hand below the waistband of my sweatpants, now eagerly moving toward
my target, when a loud knock shook me out of my moment. I swore loudly to myself.
I couldn’t catch a fucking break today.

Readjusting my clothing quickly, I stomped and mumbled under my breath as I
headed for the door. I yanked it open, fully prepared to ream whoever was behind it. I
was not expecting to lose the ability to breathe when I saw the person who interrupted
me.

It was Edward.

“Surprise!”

He spoke with a bright grin, and for a moment I could only lean against my
doorframe, taking him in. Fuck my memories never did him justice.

“What– uh… what about your paper?” I was a little surprised I could even form that
stuttered sentence as I ogled him. Cheeks flushed as if he had run up the stairs, hair
slightly longer than I remembered it but still out of control, lean chest and abdomen

covered in a graciously tight shirt. His green eyes looked as hungry as I felt, and I
wanted him to devour me.

I faintly registered him answering my question. “My professor was sick, so he
cancelled class and pushed back the deadline. I was in my car as soon as I got the
email and called Tyler to help me get into the building.” I would really need to thank
Tyler later. He was one of my few guy friends that Edward actually liked, so it didn’t
surprise me that he’d agreed to help.

And then I remembered that Edward, my Edward had been standing in the hallway for
almost a minute now and I had yet to touch him. That was unacceptable.

Faster than he was expecting, I threw myself into his arms, wrapping my own tightly
around his waist. He responded quickly, dropping his backpack and burying his face
into my neck. His lips touched my skin as he exhaled, and I actually fucking shivered.
He was all around me at once, and it was too much for me to handle.

I squeezed his waist before preparing to slide my fingers down the back of his pants. I
wanted him to fuck me. I needed him to fuck me now. Every part of my body
screamed for him.

“God, you’re beautiful. I really missed you, Bella. I love you too much to not see you
for almost a month.”

Well, shit.

Guilt stretched through my fingers, and I kept them still around him. I tightened my
grip and tried not to feel like such a prick for only thinking of sex at a time like this. “I
love you, too.”

Edward sensed my change in mood, as he always did, and pulled back slightly. As
soon as he saw my eyes he frowned. “What’s wrong? I know you don’t like surprises,
but I couldn’t help myself. I’m sorry. I was just so excited–”

Shit, he thought I was pissed because he didn’t tell me he was coming? The guilt
throbbed in my chest, and I shook my head quickly. Stepping back, I grabbed his hand
and led him into my room, letting him grab his backpack before shutting the door
behind me.

“Don’t ever apologize for that, Edward. I can’t even explain how happy I am that
you’re here. Just… ugh, I’m such an asshole!”

His mouth twitched up at the corner, but he kept his grip on my hand, caressing the
skin gently. “No you’re not, but I’m interested to hear why you think you are.”
Dropping his bag onto the floor, he sat down on the edge of my bed

I ran my hand through my hair anxiously, hoping to contain the word vomit before it
burst out. I couldn’t. “It’s… you’re so sweet, driving out here to surprise me like this,
and then you say all these wonderful things, and– damnit, all I can even think about
right now is how I want to you to fuck me until we’re both too exhausted to move!”

My hands shot up over my mouth and my eyes dropped to the floor, my
embarrassment showing itself on my cheeks. I hadn’t meant to say all of that, even if
it was what I was thinking. After a few tense seconds, a long finger crept under my
chin, pushing my head up until our eyes met. He was positively burning, that devilish
smirk that had gotten me into so much trouble before working its way onto his face.

“You really shouldn’t talk so much, Jellybean.”

With that, his hand slid from my palm to my wrist, pulling quickly and turning me so
that I fell on the bed beside him. He flipped over in an instant, slamming our open lips
together as he shifted his body over mine. For several minutes we just made out,
licking and sucking and biting at each other’s mouths like normal teenagers. His lips
were warm and slightly chapped from the New England winter, and he tasted like
black coffee, but I didn’t give a shit. Nothing was going to keep me away from him
right now.

When our hands eventually started wandering, and by that I mean when Edward
stopped kissing me long enough to yank my shirt off, it was with desperation. My
hands finally completed their mission, moving under his jeans to grab his ass while
his fingers dragged over my torso frantically. It was as if he needed to touch every
inch of my skin at once. I understood the feeling too well.

His lips broke from mine, causing me to whine pathetically, and he slid down the bed,
smirking at me before ducking down to nuzzle my breasts. When did I lose my bra?
But I couldn’t focus on that for long. I gasped then shrieked when his tongue flattened
over my nipple. I jerked my hips purposefully up into his, but he didn’t budge. So I
did it again. And nothing. He continued to languidly play with my tits while I writhed
around underneath him. After warming myself up earlier, I was not in the mood for
teasing.

Seconds later, and I’m not entirely sure how, Edward’s shirt and pants were off, and I
was straddling him on the floor. He grunted in discomfort when I tackled him, but

recovered as soon as my lips started moving on his neck, sucking hard and hopefully
leaving hickies for any Dartmouth hussies who were attempting to claim my territory.

Edward groaned something incoherently when I bit down on his neck, and then started
shoving my sweatpants down. I guess he got impatient, because he only got them to
my knees before he tugged me forward into his hard on. I grabbed his wrists from
behind me and slammed our joined hands onto the floor, devouring his mouth while
our hips ground together roughly and unevenly. Tongues swirled and explored, but I’d
lost the ability to think a long time ago. We were leaving our movements to instinct,
everything animalistic. He growled, actually growled at me when I shifted my hips in
a circle, and then I under him, his weight pressing me into the rough carpeting. He
kept making these grunts and little noises as he groped and licked, and I couldn’t
control my sounds at all. I don’t know if he’d ever been sexier.

Without a word he pulled off my underwear and then his, taking a moment to stare
ravenously at me. The love and desire in his eyes made the butterflies in my stomach
flutter to life, but there would be time to stare all he wanted later. Right now I needed
him.

Sitting up quickly onto my knees, I dug my fingers into his hair and reconnected our
mouths. His strong hand gripped my waist, lifting and turning me so I was sitting on
the edge of the bed. After one more swipe of his tongue over mine, he broke away, his
eyes shooting down between my legs. If I hadn’t been sitting I might have collapsed
under his gaze. I would have definitely collapsed when he shoved my legs apart
roughly and grazed over my heated skin.

He continued with barely-there touches, and now he was just being mean so I pulled
on his hair, telling him without words to get on with it. Edward smiled again, kissing
me once, and then pushed two fingers forcefully inside of me, twisting and curling
them in a way that made my body spasm. Open kisses and his hot breath trailed down
my chest and stomach, and I knew where he was headed. Tongue dipping into my
bellybutton. Another kiss and a lick on my hipbone. And though it would almost kill
me to stop him and his tongue, I was too close already thanks to his fingers, and I
decided I had gone long enough without actual sex. I need him inside of me when I
came.

Gripping either side of his head, I pulled up and leaned back across the twin bed with
him on top of me. It was only about three feet wide so my head and feet were off the
mattress, but it didn’t matter. A hand shot down to his length, and I gripped him
firmly, enjoying the strangled moan that he breathed onto my shoulder. One or two
pumps, and fuck, he was hard enough already, so I guided him toward me. He didn’t
need telling twice.

With shocking force, Edward pinned my hands to the side and then plunged into me.
Stuttered gasps filled the tense air, and I let my head fall back as he moved. I couldn’t
focus enough to hold my neck up when he was thrusting as purposefully as he was.

My mind was blank, just expletives and Edward, and my legs wrapped tightly around
his waist. The new angle, and the friction, and he was groaning into my ear, and fuck.
Shit. Holy fucking god, I missed this.

Another rough thrust and I slid over the sheets, my upper back completely off the
mattress. As fucking fantastic as I felt right now, this wasn’t very comfortable, and I’d
be pretty damn mortified if I fell off the bed during sex, so I sighed something similar
to his name and squeezed his fingers to get his attention. His eyes lifted as my head
did, and he laugh/moaned when he saw my current predicament. I curled my back up
and twisted around until we were the right direction on the bed.

Edward blindly felt down my side until he found my knee, and pushed my leg up until
it rested against his shoulder. Fuuuck, fucking shit. I squirmed and arched and reached
over my head just to grab something as my stomach clenched. His thrusting sped up
and I teetered on the edge with him, my body tensing more and more with each jerk of
his hips.

His head fell to my neck, and lips traced up until he met my ear. In a low, breathy
voice he finally spoke, whispering, “I love you”. He sucked hard on the sensitive skin,
and I was gone, the voice and the mouth pushing me into oblivion. My back arched
almost violently, and I think I broke a piece of the cheap bed frame while ecstasy took
me.

Edward pushed one, two, three more times and then his entire frame stiffened above
me, a loud moan filing me with love and pride. Even if every girl at Dartmouth flirted
and propositioned him, I was still the only one who got to see him like this. It was
pretty fucking fantastic.

Our orgasms fading, Edward pressed a long kiss into my neck and rolled over, falling
in a heap beside me on the squeaky mattress. We lay for a while in gasping silence,
just taking each other in. Call me sappy, but I needed this time to trace my eyes over
ever inch of his face, to just enjoying looking and breathing and being here with him.
It was hard as hell not seeing him everyday.

Edward’s hand bushed the matted hair away from my face, and traced down my
cheek. He sighed and then sat up slightly on his elbow, dropping his arm between us.

“So,” he asked, scratching his sweaty head, “how have you been?”

I laughed and scooted closer to kiss his bruised lips, determined to enjoy the few days
I had alone with the boy I loved.

AN: Man, was this awkward to type on an airplane…

THANKS AGAIN IAMJACKSBROKENHEART!

Chapter 6: You Send Me

So this is the last time I'm spending time with these characters. I wanted to give
them a proper send off, since it was actually one year ago next week that I posted
the prologue of You Get Me Closer To God. I would have waited until then, but
I'm impatient. Also, I don't know anything about copy editing. I tried to keep it
as vague as possible. Thank you Kelly for telling me I don't suck and to Elle for
taking on the difficult task of sorting out my late night writing. Again. I really
don't know how you do it.

One more huge thank you to every single person who read this story. If you had
told me a year ago that people would actually read the shit I posted... hell, I can't
even imagine it. So thank you xoxo

The song is "You Send Me" by Sam Cooke. Preferably the demo version.

“You Send Me”

Two years after the epilogue

Bella

I loved my job. Really, I did.

But fuck it, nights like these I was ready to just ditch the whole copy editor thing
completely. I could go rogue with my piano-man boyfriend, and we could spend our
lives together under a bridge, playing jingles for spare change. It would be pretty
gross, but we’d be happy enough.

Today started out like any normal Thursday. I had one manuscript to finish up before I
could head home for the weekend, but that wouldn’t take me that long.

Edward called around noon to remind me we had plans for dinner. I was pretty damn
excited about that. We hadn’t had a lot of alone time over the last few weeks, so I
could only manage some weak complaining about the price before agreeing to
whatever he wanted. What can I say, I missed the guy.

But because fate is an asshole, I got a call from my boss with some huge emergency
just as I was packing up my bag to go home. So here I was, stuck at the office on what
should have been my date night, quickly editing this short manuscript that needed to
be finished by nine in the morning. The only good news was that he was giving me
Friday off as an apology. I shot Edward a quick text, with an apology and the promise
of a blow job to make it up to him, before throwing myself into the stupid, mediocre
story. Future bestseller, my ass.

I knew I didn’t have much to complain about. I was twenty-four years old and living
in the greatest city in the world. I had a good job at a company with the opportunity
for a promotion in the near future. I was stupidly in love with a man who was
somehow more attractive now than he had been as a teenager. My life was pretty
awesome.

But was it really too much to ask for a little more time with said boyfriend?

I finally put down my red pen around four in the morning, too tired to even be angry
anymore. Strolling down the hallway, I dropped the edited piece of crap on my boss’s
desk and headed outside, hailing a cab. There was no way I was going to try to
maneuver the subway when I was this tired.

By the time I got back to our apartment, I could barely keep my eyes open. I dropped
my bag just inside the door and kicked off my pants before collapsing into bed. I
barely managed to curl up against Edward’s warm body before sleep took me.

- - - - -

When I woke up a few hours later, it was still perfectly quiet in the room. I was still
really fucking tired, but something wasn’t letting me fall back asleep. I cracked an eye
open to look at the clock. 6:25.

“What the fuck?” I mumbled into my pillow… er, Edward’s chest. Why the hell was I
awake so early? I rolled onto my back for a moment, stretching out my arms and legs,
when it hit me. I really had to pee. Goddammit.

Edward was still sleeping like a baby, his face completely relaxed and a little bit of
drool at the corner of his mouth. Now why did I think that was cute? His arm curled

up against his side when I got out of bed, as if it missed the warmth of my body, and I
couldn’t help my smile. I resisted the urge to crawl back into bed with him and ran
quietly down the hallway to take care of my business.

Once I was done, I walked back into our living room. My stomach growled audibly. I
hadn’t eaten a proper dinner the night before, and I knew I wouldn’t be able to fall
back asleep unless I ate something, so I dragged myself into the small kitchen. An
apple would do the trick. I opened the fridge and froze, frowning slightly at the sight.

Just inside were a handful of Tupperware containers filled with food. There were two
smaller ones that seemed to be holding green beans and some other side dish I
couldn’t recognize, but I couldn’t mistake what was in the biggest container. Chicken
Alfredo. My absolute favorite, and incidentally, the only thing Edward could make
really well.

Had he cooked for me last night?

I closed the fridge quickly, but not before I saw the corked bottle of white wine inside
the door. I glanced behind me toward the dining area and felt my heart clench when I
saw the blown out candles set up in the middle of our small table. By the front door, a
still wrapped bouquet of daisies was sitting in a vase on the side table. The entire
place looked like the aftermath of a damn good date. That thought made me feel even
worse.

Edward rarely did romantic things like this, because honestly the cheesy love stuff
wasn’t our style. But when he did, it was always for some important reason. I went
through different options in my head, trying to figure out if I’d missed something. It
wasn’t his birthday, or mine, or our anniversary. Crap, was he celebrating some
anniversary I wasn’t aware of? Like the first time we fucked or the first time we
exchanged I love yous?

Whatever the reason, Edward had gone out of his way to put together a night like this
and I’d missed it because of that stupid fucking story.

I walked slowly back to our bedroom, trying to think if there was something obvious I
was missing, and nearly tripped over my discarded pair of pants in the doorway. Shit,
I forgot that I was still in my work shirt. I walked over toward the dresser and grabbed
one my tank tops, yanking the dress shirt over my head before pulling on the much
more comfortable tank. I shut my drawer and opened one of Edward’s. I knew most
people mixed up clothes with their live-in boyfriends, but I didn’t see the point.
Wouldn’t it be easier to keep all my crap in one spot?

I felt around through his ridiculous pile of socks for a pair of cotton boxers when my
hand bumped into something hard and square. What the hell?

I grabbed the first shorts I found, pulling them on quickly, before going back into the
drawer for a better look. The mysterious square lump seemed to be rolled into a pair
of socks that he’d pushed into the back of his drawer. I knew it was probably
unethical to be snooping around through his shit but, meh, we lived together. What’s
mine is yours and what not. I unraveled the sock, and I swear to god, I nearly fell over
when the black velvet box tumbled into my palm.

“Holy fuck.”

He was going to propose last night?

Edward mumbled behind me at my outburst, and I could actually feel my pulse start to
pound. I had completely forgotten that he was sleeping in here. He shuffled around in
the sheets a little before settling back to sleep. Thank fucking god.

Shit, shit, shit. He set up this entire romantic night to finally propose to me, and I
fucked it up by staying at work? I was the worst girlfriend in the world.

I knew it wasn’t really my fault that I got caught up at work, but I couldn’t help but
feel ridiculously guilty. This was a big fucking deal. I mean it’s not like I hadn’t
known this was coming sometime soon. We had been living together for almost two
years now, and we had discussed marriage and babies and all that crap on several
occasions, but there was something so final about holding the ring box in my hand. It
felt strange. It felt right.

Before I said something else and woke him up, I pushed the box back into the sock
inside the drawer with shaky hands. I didn’t open it though. The first time I saw the
ring, it needed to be on his terms.

Quickly pulling off all of my clothes, I crawled back onto the bed where Edward was
sprawled out on his back, the blanket only up to his waist. He was so gorgeous and
thoughtful and perfect for me, and I ruined his proposal. I was going to have to do
something big to make this up to him. Like megaphone my love for him from the
middle of Times Square, big.

But for now, I was content to wake him up the way I knew he liked best.

Carefully straddling his waist, I leaned down and pressed a kiss against his pulse
point. His arms moved slightly, subconsciously reaching for me, but he remained fast

asleep. I settled more firmly onto him, tracing my fingers over his chest while I
continued to kiss and suck on his skin. Once I could feel his body reacting to my
touch, I slid down to kiss his chest through his sleep shirt.

“Jellybean?” he asked sleepily. I glanced up from my spot above his waist to see him
smiling at me, his hair sticking up in every direction. “What are you doing?”

“Loving you,” I muttered, pushing his shirt up now that he was awake enough to help
me. Edward shuffled around enough to pull the offending cotton over his head before
resting back against the pillow with a happy sigh.

I smiled again in appreciation of his body. He wasn’t ridiculously muscular, and he
would always be a little bit on the skinny side, but he took care of himself. I enjoyed
the way his stomach still clenched under my fingertips. He groaned quietly as I placed
open-mouthed kisses down his torso, pushing down his pajama pants while I worked
over his skin. His hand moved to rub soothing circles behind my ear, and it just made
me love him a little more.

That only reminded me how selfless he was, and how much of a bitch I was to him.
He was always focused on me, even when he was half-asleep.

Eager to please him the best I could, I nipped at his hip bone with my teeth and then
moved down further to drag my tongue along his length. Edward’s hips jerked off the
bed in surprise.

“Fuck!”

“Shh, Eddie, relax,” I said with a quiet giggle, pressing his hips back into the mattress.
“Let me do this for you.” I gripped the base of his shaft, ready to go, but my attention
faltered. What was supposed to be a simple reassurance made my stomach turn again
in guilt.

Nothing I did could really show him how much he meant to me. Edward had been
literally the most important thing in my life for what, seven years now? And I still
managed to fuck things up like this on a regular basis. I had always been worse at the
romance thing than he was, but it had never been as apparent as it was now. He made
me a romantic dinner because he wanted to marry me, and I was going to thank him
by giving him head? How emotionally stunted was I?

“Bella?” His worried voice surprised me, breaking me out of my pity party. “What’s
wrong?”

I sent him what I hoped was an embarrassed smile. “Oh, sorry. I spaced out for a
second.” I shook my head once more time and focused again on the task at hand,
flattening my tongue over the head while I started to work the rest of him with my
hand. Edward groaned breathily, but when I looked up he still looked distracted. I
pulled out all my best moves, knowing by this point exactly how to make him squirm,
and tried to avoid his eyes.

After a few more seconds, I heard him mutter through clenched teeth.

“Know that it absolutely kills me to do this, but-”

With that, Edward reached up and grabbed me under my arms, pulling me up until we
were face to face. I ended up straddling his lap while he sat on the bed. I could see
him fighting the urge to make me finish what I started, but once again, he proved to
have more control than I would. He brushed my hair behind my ear and held my face
between his hands, forcing me to keep eye contact with him.

“You’re upset about something. Please tell me what’s wrong, Jellybean.”

He knew me way too fucking well. I didn’t want to jump in with my entire epiphany
about how much I sucked, so I decided to go with something much easier.

“Did you make me dinner last night?”

He furrowed his brow, probably trying to figure out where that question came from.
“Uh yeah, but it’s okay. You had to work. We can just have leftovers today.”

Hearing him say that only confirmed my suspicions about the night before and before
I could stop myself, it all came crashing down on me. I went into full girly freak-out
mode, burrowing my face in his shoulder and moaning out, “I ruin everything!” I
wasn’t crying yet, but it certainly felt like I was going to.

“What the hell are you talking about?” he asked with a confused laugh, running his
fingers through my hair again. I refused to look at him but let the word-vomit flow. I
was powerless to stop it anyway.

“You are so amazing for trying to do a romantic night for me, and you got us wine
and flowers, and my stupid fucking job got in the way again. I just… fuck, I don’t
even know why I’m surprised that I fucked up our date night and your dinner and the
proposal-”

“Whoa, whoa, how do you know about that?!” he asked in a strangely high-pitched
voice. I was so fucking frozen at my stupidity that I couldn’t even flinch.

Holy shit. I did not just say that. My hands shot up over my face, forcing Edward to
loosen his grip around me. I squeezed my eyes shut tightly, hoping that maybe if I
prayed hard enough, then I could go back and time and not say that. Of course it
didn’t work because I’m a fucking idiot. I looked back at Edward and he was still
looking at me expectantly. I couldn’t not answer him.

Running my fingers through my knotted hair, I sighed, “I found the ring box in your
underwear drawer.”

Edward’s face immediately flushed, a red color that was incredibly unusual for him,
and I’m sure I blushed in return. He rubbed his hands once over his face before
dropping them back to rest limply on my hips, his eyes dropping to just above my
chest.

“Well, fuck.”

He sounded so disappointed. I could already feel the tears pricking behind my eyes.

“I’m so sorry, Edward. I’m so, so sorry. We’ve just been building to this for so long
that I can’t help but feel awful for messing up your plans. Fuck, all I want is to marry
you, and now I made it even worse. I’m such an idiot.”

With that I ducked my head below his chin, letting my irritating tears fall onto his
chest. He let go of my waist to gently grab the back of my head.

“Jellybean,” he said in a strangely hoarse voice, trying to coerce me to look at him.

I shook my head in refusal against his shoulder. I absolutely hated crying in front of
him, and this was just so terrible that I couldn’t stand being here anymore. I tried to
push away from him so I could escape from the bedroom, but Edward was faster. I
gasped when he flipped me onto my back, his body hovering over mine and his hands
pressing my arms forcefully into the mattress above my head.

“Isabella,” he said seriously.

All I could do was gulp and stare up at his intense eyes as I waited for him to yell or
scream or whatever he was getting ready to do. But because no one was as good as
keeping me on my toes as Edward, he didn’t do any of those things. He just… smiled.

A bright and genuine smile that instantly warmed my heart even though I was still
panicking.

“You want to marry me?” he asked, disbelief and excitement obvious in his quiet
voice. I could feel his hands trembling slightly against my wrists.

I couldn’t do much physically, since my arms were still pinned to the bed, but for
once I didn’t even have to fight off an eye-roll or a nervous quip. This was us at our
most vulnerable, and my confirmation came out easily. I didn’t even have to think
about it.

“Of course I do, Eddie. You’re… everything.” Nothing else I could say could really
explain it any better. I smiled back at him, hoping he could see the sincerity in my
face. Edward did one better.

I moaned in surprise when his warm lips crashed down onto mine. My arms instantly
wiggled out from his grip to wrap tightly around his neck as he thoroughly devoured
my mouth, releasing all of his nerves and excitement and love into this one kiss. His
body pushed mine further into the bed, and my legs parted without thought to make
room for his hips.

His lips broke from mine, moving over to my cheek and ear and neck before he leaned
back to meet my eyes.

“We’re getting married?” he asked again, I’m sure just to make sure we were on the
same page. I giggled quietly and lifted my head off the bed to kiss him forcefully
before answering against his lips.

“Fucking right, we’re getting married!”

Edward followed me back onto the bed, mouth pressing urgently against mine, his
hand slipping between my legs to make sure I was ready to go. Yeah, right, like that
was a problem. I pulled away from his lips to suck on my spot behind his ear, which
I’m almost surprised wasn’t permanently bruised by this point.

“Just get on with it, Eddie,” I muttered teasingly into his ear.

He laughed, pressing his lips against my neck. “That’s why I love you, Jellybean.
You’re such a romantic.”

Both of us quickly shut up when he dropped his hips, practically slamming into me,
and it never failed to amaze me how perfectly we fit together. Not that I knew
anything else, but I doubted it could be more fucking amazing than this.

The space around our bed was filled with breathy moans as the bed banged against the
wall. This wasn’t gentle love-making. We didn’t need to do this slowly to know how
much we loved each other. We still fucked just as hard as we loved.

After a few thrusts, Edward picked me up and turned us around so I could grip onto
the bed frame. As soon as I had a good hold, he guided my legs around his waist and
really let loose, showing me just how badly he needed me.

My mind blanked as he pounded into me again and again, biting and nipping at my
neck, moaning half sentences like “love you” and “every fucking time.” I arched my
chest toward him when his lips closed around one of my nipples, and he went with the
movement, rolling over onto his back and bringing me on top of him.

We were a flurry of twisted limbs and clashing teeth as we lost the rhythm to passion.
My hips rocked unevenly above his, sweaty hands gripping behind his neck for some
kind of leverage. Our kisses were sloppy and rough, but perfect and just us. The
intensity was overwhelming. The only thing I could sense was him, and when his
fingers rubbed tightly over my clit at the same moment I swiveled my hips around
him, it was too much to handle. I shattered into orgasmic bliss above him, moaning
his name into his open mouth as my muscles clenched around him.

Edward wasn’t done yet. Before I’d even recovered, he shoved me onto my back,
pushing my legs above my head and pounding into me again. His mouth latched onto
my neck, sucking hard enough to leave a mark. His thrusts grew erratic as he
approached his own finish, and his frantic pounding was enough to shoot me back up
to the precipice for the second time.

“Again,” he demanded against my flesh, angling his hips just so and holy fucking shit,
I loved multiple orgasms. I loved them almost as much as my fucking talented fiancé.
I opened my eyes just enough to see Edward tremble above me, his mouth parted
beautifully as he reached his own peak.

He released my legs just as they were starting to cramp up and collapsed in an
exhausted heap beside me, draping his arm over my waist and laughing quietly against
my shoulder.

“What’s so funny?” I asked, turning my head to the side to kiss the top of his sweaty
head.

“This is just so typical. Fucking first, serious stuff later.”

“Well, I aim to please.”

Edward patted my stomach once and stood from the bed, walking across the room and
away from me, which I did not appreciate.

“Where are you going?” I whined shamelessly. Edward tossed me a grin over his
shoulder and reached into the ominous underwear drawer, grabbing something before
walking back to the bed.

“Well, something about this needs to be traditional. I have no idea what we’re going
to tell our parents.”

He sighed, but his smile gave away both his amusement and his pure happiness.
Laying down beside me again, he revealed the velvet box in his hand and popped it
open. I couldn’t help but smile widely at the ring he had picked out: modest but
beautiful and practically begging to take its place on my finger. Jesus, if someone had
told me a few years ago that I’d be this excited about an engagement ring, I would
have said they were batshit.

Edward slid the ring onto my left hand with a shit-eating grin, placing a quick kiss
above my knuckle.

“I would marry you today if I could.”

"Me too," I whispered before kissing him again, because god, how could I not kiss
him after he says sappy shit like that?

As soon as we broke apart, Edward’s face grew contemplative. I watched him in
confusion as he sorted through whatever was running through his head, letting my
fingers scratch the back of his head. After a few seconds, he seemed to snap out of it,
and decided instead to stare at me very intensely. This guy was seriously all over the
place this morning. Not that I blamed him.

“Then why don’t we?”

“Huh?”

Edward sat up slightly, propping his head up on his hand. “I mean it. Why don’t we
go down to the courthouse and do it today?”

He was completely serious. And as insane as the idea was… I could see it. I could
imagine holding his hand and feeling his wedding ring pressed against my fingers.
Every woman in the world would know that he chose me: as his wife, the mother of
his children, his perpetual roommate. And hell, nothing about us was traditional
anyway. I couldn’t actually imagine wearing a pouffy white wedding dress, and we
definitely didn’t need a fancy ceremony to prove our love.

After all this time, I really didn’t want to wait to officially start our lives together.

“Alice is going to kill us,” I said with a quiet laugh.

“Is that a yes?” he asked, his lips turning up as he waited for my answer. The
knowledge that I put that smile on his face was staggering. I needed to spend the rest
of my life with this man, and that needed to start today.

“That’s an abso-fucking-lutely.”

Sigh, I've been putting off this moment for over eleven months.

*officially clicks complete on Eddie and Jellybean*