This book is a work of fiction. The names, characters, places,
and incidents are the products of the author’s imagination or
are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events,
business establishments, locales, or persons, living or dead, is
entirely coincidental.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be
reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any
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Published in the United States of America by
Soul Mate Publishing
P.O. Box 24
Macedon, New York, 14502

ISBN: 978-1-68291-620-9

www.SoulMatePublishing.com

The publisher does not have any control over and does not

assume any responsibility for author or third-party websites or
their content.

For my husband, Paul,

who bought me a laptop and said, “Go Write.”

I Will Love You Always.

Acknowledgements

This book has been a lifetime in the making. It has
allowed me to grow in ways I didn’t think possible.
I would first like to thank Soulmate Publishing for
taking a chance on me and Seeking Perfect. I can’t
wait to see what the future holds for us. I wouldn’t
have made it this far without these very special
people. I would like to thank Mary E. first for just
being my friend; that alone is a job in itself. I would
really like to thank her for never doubting me even
when I doubted myself. For reading this book in
every version possible and asking me the hard
questions. Plus the millions of other things that you
do that I can never repay. Your unconditional
support and love is more than I ever deserved. I am
grateful beyond measure. You’re not just my friend
you’re my family. I would also like to thank Connie
W. for making me walk the hardest road of my life
and being there with me for every step. I would’ve
never found the light without you showing me the
path through the darkness. Thank you is not enough
for your guidance and love on this life journey. I
really couldn’t have taken this journey without my
family Paul, Savannah and Jared. Thank you for
doing the everyday things of life so that I could

write. Your love for me is something I never
imagined possible. All of you are the source of my
joy and inspiration. Thank you for being my family,
I love you to the moon and back. I am so grateful
for the gifts I have been given and without HIM
nothing is possible. Thank You All.

Chapter 1

Super Bowl Sunday was the perfect day from

hell for Jesse Barnes. Her mother would always
come home drunk, but what kind of drunk was
always a toss-up. There were two choices: either
she would be pissed off at everything, or she would
quietly pass out after exhausting herself by yelling
at the football game. Jesse made sure she was out
of the trailer before the game was over. If she could
avoid her mother until she passed out then Jesse
might have a chance at getting a decent night’s
sleep. She stayed out well past 9, hoping the late
hour had bought her enough time to get to her room
at the back of the trailer before her mother woke
up.

She hesitantly entered the trailer, trying to

gauge the atmosphere. She saw the post-game wrap
up blaring from the TV, but the clanging in the
kitchen was the real problem.

Here it comes. She could feel the confrontation

brewing. Her mother was standing in the kitchen,
sipping her favorite white wine. She swung her
head around, and in the moment that her hard,
black eyes focused on her daughter, Jesse knew she
was in for it.

“Where the hell have you been?” Sheila Barnes

slurred.

“Out,” Jesse replied. She tried to keep her

voice neutral, knowing the avalanche of hostility
her mother would unleash. She took deep breaths
through her nose to level out the anxiety building in
her blood. She knew her mother didn’t care where
she had been, she was just waiting for her drinking
money. Jesse had hoped to put a little more aside
for her looming college expenses, but it was getting
harder with her mother’s ever present outstretched
hand.

“Out where?” Sheila’s hostility flared. “With

that snobby bitch Charlotte? The two of you are
made for each other. Just remember who gave birth
to you, and it wasn’t Charlotte Birch.”

Jesse stared at her mother, her heart sinking

and hardening as she realized there was no
salvaging this conversation – her mother was
looking for a fight. It was sad really. Sheila had
been fun-loving once. She’d liked to dance and,
when Jesse was younger, she would give her
chocolates. Jesse remembered how excited Sheila
had been on the day they’d shopped for her clothes
for kindergarten. Back then, everything was
happier. Jesse’s dad worked in construction and
would come home every night and toss his little girl
into the air as she shrieked with laughter. But the
jobs started getting fewer and the drinking became

more regular, until one day he didn’t come home at
all. The happiness left with him. Sheila began
leaving every night, going from bar to bar
frantically hunting for him. When she finally gave
up, she’d eroded into a bitter harpy looking for
anyone to share her cold bed to make the loneliness
go away. Sometimes she would leave Jesse for an
entire weekend while she was out drinking with
whatever guy she could pick up that week. Jesse
had become an adult by the age of seven. It had
been a difficult way to grow up.

On nights like tonight, Jesse couldn’t remember

that long-ago happiness. As she steeled herself
against her drunken mother, her blood began to
boil. She knew better than to engage the woman, it
would only end in a verbal lashing, if she was lucky.
So she took a breath, desperately seeking control,
and looked at her mother with as much pity as she
could find. But there was nothing she could say at
that moment that would make a difference.
Everything she could have said had already been
said long ago.

“Why don’t you go sleep it off, Mom?” Jesse

sighed.

“I don’t need to sleep anything off,” Sheila

screamed, the force of her brittle, angry words
throwing her off balance. “Don’t tell me what to
do. I’m in charge here until you’re eighteen and
then we’ll see where you end up, you stuck-up little

snob.”

Jesse looked at her mother for a moment,

knowing what would happen if she continued this
conversation, but she was so incredibly tired of the
abuse. Sometimes she just didn’t have the energy to
manage her mother’s mood. Today was one of
those days.

“It’s pointless for me to try and talk to you

when you’re drunk.”

The slap came fast and hard across her cheek,

but Jesse didn’t flinch. She stared at her mom
without reaction. She wouldn’t give her the
satisfaction.

“Do you feel better now?” she asked calmly.
Sheila had lost interest in the conversation and

began hunting through cupboards. Obviously her
mind was already on other things. “Just get the hell
away from me,” she snarled. “Roy is coming over
and you got me all upset.”

“No problem,” Jesse replied.
She stormed out of the trailer, slamming the

screen on its hinges. She wouldn’t run, but she took
the three, crumbling stairs at a quick clip. Just as
she hit the graveled yard, headlights pulled up to
the trailer. Roy stumbled out of his beat-up truck.
Apparently he was just as lit as Sheila. This was the
latest boyfriend, some truck driver Sheila had
picked up in a local bar, a man with no past and no
future. The man lived in swill just as Sheila did so

they understood each other. But this boyfriend did
local hauls, so he was around a lot more than the
previous nameless, shiftless drifters Sheila seemed
to attract. He made Jesse’s skin crawl, and her
instincts were telling her to stay far away. He was
dangerous. “Hey Jesse, where you runnin’ off to?”
Roy’s rheumy eyes glittered at her. “Don’tcha
wanna stay and party with your mama and me? I
never had a mother/daughter before.”

“Don’t you ever speak to me again.” She took

off at a run and didn’t look back. Looks like I’ll be
out till 2a.m. again, she thought bitterly.

Growing up Jesse thought if she was quiet and

got good grades in school, if she was perfect,
maybe her mother would love her. Striving for
perfection became the one thing she could control
in her world. Now her world consisted of finding
places to feel safe, at least for a little while.

Several months ago, Jesse had found a small

cave near the lake about a mile from her trailer. She
used it to wait out the disgusting antics her mom
and Roy would undoubtedly be attempting. The
lake was dark and the beach was dry, but the best
thing about it was that her mom and Roy weren’t
there–and didn’t care where she went. That made it
The Ritz as far as she was concerned. She would
stay there with a flashlight to read until she was
pretty sure Sheila had passed out and Roy was
gone. This dark, quiet place was her sanctuary.

Chapter 2

The cold bit through her thin jacket, chilling her

to the bone. No matter the cold, she liked to walk
to school early in the morning when the world was
quiet. This gave her an opportunity to imagine a
world where uncertainty wasn’t the norm. Next
paycheck, she thought, I’ll go scrounge at the thrift
store and see if I can come up with a real winter
coat.

The banana she ate for breakfast would be her

only meal until dinner. She didn’t have lunch
money again and there was nothing to make a lunch
with at the trailer. The little groceries Jesse did buy
didn’t last with her mother and Roy around.

She did have her favorite book, Pride &

Prejudice by Jane Austen. Spending time with
Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy always lifted her mood
and kept her mind off her growling stomach
throughout the day.

The high school was on the outskirts of a

middle-class housing tract in the quaint city of
Parkhaven,

Oregon.

Parkhaven

was

the

quintessential small town with its idyllic main street
and rustic western building designs. Small towns
had their benefits and definitely their drawbacks.

Parkhaven’s population was just under 15,000 and
it didn’t offer much in the way of social services.
Small town gossips would be all over anyone seen
at the welfare office or child protective services.
But beyond the rumor mill, no one really wanted to
be involved in anyone else’s business, which was
fine with Jesse. She was almost 18 and there wasn’t
much anyone could do for her at this stage.
Keeping under the radar and staying focused on
school was going to be her ticket out of this life.

Jesse looked at her school tucked back from

the main street. The school’s octagonal design was
lined with large pine trees common to this area of
the Pacific Northwest. The center court stood bare
except for the gallant Parkhaven High Pioneer in
the center, surrounded by a low stone wall covered
in bird poop. On the far-right side of the campus
were separate court areas for each grade level with
lockers lining the hallways. Jesse had always
appreciated the open feel of the school, with
classrooms opening to the outside instead of
stacked on each other like mice in cages. As she
walked onto campus she noticed the only people
milling around were zero period P.E. students and
the marching band, already parading in the field.
She was thankful it would be quiet for a little while
before she had to deal with the stress of trying to
blend in among the throngs of other students.

Jesse tried to forget the early morning

encounter with Roy as she tucked a strand of her
mahogany hair behind her ear, but it was not to be
as she headed for a table before the first bell.

He had been in the kitchen drinking his

breakfast beer. He didn’t say anything as she
moved around the table gathering her books. He’d
just followed her with his lecherous eyes, but she
knew what he was thinking. She always stayed alert
around him, ready to flee at a moment’s notice in
case he ever acted on his disgusting thoughts. Her
senses were primed like a gazelle in the middle of
the savanna waiting for the lion to pounce. Don’t
let it be like this forever, she prayed.

Jesse sloshed her way through melting snow to

one of the empty tables in the senior court. It had
been a mild winter in Parkhaven this year. The
slight snow flurries hadn’t stuck for very long, and
what did had quickly turned to slush. She had some
math homework to finish and needed to polish up
her poem for English. English was her favorite
subject. Reading and writing were like breaths of
life for her. Characters from books felt more real to
her than actual flesh and blood people sitting in the
same room. Writing allowed her voice to be heard
on paper – a voice that, in reality, was silent.

The ring of the first bell shocked her out of her

reverie. She hadn’t even heard the sounds of
students filling the hallways, clanging their lockers
in a hurried attempt to retrieve books.

The school was small, so it was not unusual to

have several of the same people in her classes. She
had only been with these kids since junior high,
which made her the outsider, since the majority of
them had been in school together since
kindergarten. She’d transferred to this school
district when her mother had moved to the cheap
trailer on the outskirts of town, but she was still
considered an outsider for more than one reason.

Jesse realized that someone was waving her

arm wildly in an attempt to catch her attention.
Darin Aames was the only girl Jesse could talk to
with little fear of judgment. Darin had been in and
out of classes with her every year since she’d
moved into the area, and she too shared the
commonality of a being a girl with a boy’s name.
This was the first year they did not have a class
together, but both felt the same pain of suffering
through Mr. Harris, the government teacher. Both
girls had him, only during different periods. Darin’s
sandy-blond, shoulder-length hair was the same
shade as her twin brother’s, who was standing next
to Darin. His eyes fixed on Jesse as Darin’s rushing
river of words enveloped her.

“I’m glad I caught you, Jesse. Please tell me

you took notes for Harris’s class yesterday? I’m
desperate,” she huffed.

“Um, yeah, I have them,” Jesse replied.
“Great. Can I borrow them, please?”

“Sure. Mine aren’t very legible, but I can

rewrite them.”

“Thanks, you’re awesome. Just give them to

Derek in 4

period, okay? Or better yet, why don’t

you sit with us at lunch today?”

Jesse felt bad always turning down Darin’s

offers, but what choice did she have? Mustn’t let
anyone get too close, she chided herself.

“I have stuff to do, but thanks,” she replied.
The last tardy bell rang as they scattered to

their various classes, but the memory of Derek’s
gaze left her feeling exposed. It was one thing to
talk with Darin but being in the presence of her
brother was a whole different story. He was the star
basketball player and had good looks to match the
talent. He had every girl in school vying for his
attention. She felt so self-conscious standing there
with his questioning gaze riveted on her. What was
all that about? she wondered. Jesse’s heart
pounded as she recalled those piercing hazel eyes.
She only glanced at him twice as Darin had
chattered, and mostly had tried to pretend he
wasn’t there to no avail. She could feel him staring,
searching for something she fought desperately to
hide.

Jesse scooted into her back-row seat in

government class as Mr. Harris gave a brief
synopsis of a video about the current presidential
election they were to watch. As usual, no one took

any notice of her as she began rewriting her notes
for Darin. The video ended with Mr. Harris waiting
for some response from his students as usual none
was forthcoming.

“Jesse, do you have any thoughts on the

candidate’s platforms?”

Jesse could feel the heat sting her cheeks as all

eyes were fixed in her direction. She hated being
called on by the teacher. She couldn’t put herself
out there, opinions caused problems. She just
wanted to be invisible.

“No, I’m sorry,” she mumbled.
Mr. Harris shook his head in resignation.

“Jesse, participation points do add to your grade,”
he said as he turned to the rest of the class. Jesse
slumped lower in her seat, hoping to fade away.

The day was pretty much the same as every

other day until she reached 4

period English. The

classroom seats were arranged in rows of three to
four chairs that butted against each wall to form a
square with the center left open. It was difficult for
her to find a back-row seat when the rows were so
small, but she staked out a seat right up against a
file cabinet that somewhat shielded her in a
comfortable corner. She purposely got to class
ahead of Derek to place the notes on his desk and
avoid conversation.

Derek walked in seconds after she sat down.

She buried her nose in her book, intently pretending

not to notice him as he picked up the notes. She
surreptitiously watched as he scanned the notes,
never taking his eyes from the paper. Jesse knew
she shouldn’t worry about what he was thinking,
but she couldn’t seem to stop herself.

The class gave a collective groan as Ms. Lee

announced a pop quiz while she collected the
poems. Of course, Missy James, dance team leader,
moaned the loudest. Jesse smirked under her hand
because she knew Missy, with her heart shaped
face and ruler straight blonde hair, was clueless.
Once the quiz was passed out, the room became
silent. Ms. Lee scanned the class to make certain all
eyes were on their own papers as she sat at her
desk to look over the poems.

The quiz took Jesse no time at all, so she took

out her worn book and entered the world of 19

century England. It took Ms. Lee a few tries before
she

could

get

Jesse’s

attention.

Jesse’s

concentration was so focused that she could block
out almost everything when she was reading.
“Jesse? Jesse. Jesse Barnes?”

She looked up in astonishment mixed with

embarrassment. She was just at her favorite part,
where Mr. Darcy tells Elizabeth he loves her even
though she’s of low birth class.

“Jesse, I’d like you to read your poem in front

of the class as an example of what good poetry
should sound like,” Ms. Lee said in exasperation.

“Ms. Lee, I don’t think . . . um, well, do I have

to?” she stammered.

Ms. Lee simply held out the poem to her with

an unarguable expression. Jesse slowly rose from
her seat, her eyes downcast. She wasn’t about to
disobey a teacher. She always followed their
directions, which is why they all loved her. The
perfectionist in her couldn’t allow the teacher to
think badly of her and it never crossed her mind to
argue. Her voice shook as she read her poem about
her vision of peace. She tried to read it at an
unhurried pace, but fear had ahold of her throat and
was certainly trying to strangle her to death. When
she finished she handed the poem back to Ms. Lee
and quickstepped back to her seat without making
eye contact with anyone. Once she was seated, she
slowly let out her breath between her teeth. She
peeked up only to see Derek Aames eyeing her
with intense scrutiny. She didn’t have time to
consider why he was staring as she was literally
saved by the bell. Ms. Lee quickly announced
another poem assignment, going over requirements
and expectations.

Jesse grabbed her books to hurry out to lunch.

As she left the classroom, Missy and her pack of
hyenas were lounging against the lockers in an
ambush.

“So it totally doesn’t help the rest of us that

you keep blowing the curve. It’s obvious you have

all the time in the world to write because you don’t
take any time on your wardrobe choices. Aren’t
those the same jeans you had on last Friday, and the
day before that?” Missy and her pack laughed as
they strode away.

Jesse stood rooted in place, head down, shame

washing over her like a tidal wave. She wished she
had a witty comeback, but fear had hold of her
throat again, squeezing with glee. She turned to
make a fast get away to the library and smacked
right into Derek Aames. Her books and papers
scattered in every direction as the tears threatened
to flow. Derek grabbed her arms in an attempt to
steady her.

“Are you okay?” his voice laced with concern.

She could see the understanding in his eyes. He
wasn’t just talking about bumping into him, he’d
heard every cutting word Missy had said.

She shrugged out of his grip to retrieve her

books. She wanted to melt into a void to get away.
The physical contact with Derek had shot her
anxiety level to new heights that she wasn’t about
to dwell on.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” she replied.
She bent to gather her things, piling papers

haphazardly in order to make her escape in record
time. People suck, she chanted silently as she
snatched her books from the ground.

She watched as Derek knelt beside her his

fingers grazing hers as they gathered the rest of her
belongings. Breathe, just breathe, she thought.

“Hey. She’s wrong, you know. You don’t blow

it for the rest of us. She’s clueless, and your poem
was excellent.”

It was funny, she’d had the same thought about

Missy being clueless. Jesse scanned his face,
expecting to find mockery or a dig. She wasn’t sure
what she saw, but she needed to get away from him
in a hurry. She moved around his 6’2” frame to
make a beeline for the back of the library. She left
without another word.

The gasps started coming the minute she was

out of sight. She slid down against the rough brick
wall to put her head between her knees to control
her breathing. She leaned her head against the
library wall, closing her eyes to regain her
composure. Jesse could outmaneuver a drunk, but
she didn’t know what to do with people like Missy.
You have to love irony. Just as she opened her eyes,
Derek walked by with a few of the other basketball
players. He glanced at her with a slight smile and
kept walking. She could only pray that she would
go unnoticed for the rest of the day. If one more
teacher or person talked to her she was going to
lose it. She had talked to more people in this one
day than in the whole semester.

Fifth period flew by with no other incidents.

Sixth period was her office assistant class, which

meant freedom to roam the campus. She made a
circuit through the English and history classes,
collecting the attendance. Her last stop was the
gym. She would miss this opportunity to walk
around when the new computer system upgrade
was complete, and attendance would be submitted
electronically.

The gym was one of the outer buildings,

anchored by the girls’ and boys’ locker rooms.
Inside, it was painted in the school colors of white
with navy trim. The Parkhaven High Pioneer
dominated one wall of the gym, proudly gripping
his musket. Worn bleachers were pulled out for
coaches and onlookers. The light pine floor was
polished to a high gloss which contrasted with the
scarred bleachers. The fluorescent lights burned
brightly in the typically gloomy gym. She entered
the gym to the echoes of pounding feet and the
smell of sweat in the air. The basketball team was
in a heated practice session complete with grunts,
shoves, and the interminable squeak of tennis shoes
against the hardwood floors.

She scanned the gym, looking for the basketball

coach in exasperation. She could never figure out
why he made her come and get the attendance from
him when he could easily set it on the ledge near
the door. She spotted him on the opposite side of
the room in a huddle with his assistant. She made
her way down to him, watching the play out of the

corner of her eye to make sure she wouldn’t be in
the line of fire. She was almost across the gym
when Bryce Atkinson hurtled into her path.

“Hey Jesse, I didn’t see you there,” he mocked.
She tried to move around him, but he blocked

her path once again. She stood motionless with her
jaw clenched.

“Excuse me,” she hissed between her teeth.
“Oh, there is no excuse for you,” he chuckled

as the play came to a halt and all eyes turned
toward the exchange.

Derek came over at a jog to grab the ball from

Bryce.

“Knock it off, Bryce. Get back on the court,

unless you’re so good you don’t need the practice.”

Bryce looked down at Jesse, and with a one

last sneer, he loped back onto the court. Derek
stood there once again looking at Jesse.

“Are you okay?” He waited, but she wouldn’t

respond. He shifted the ball from hand to hand in
an attempt to alleviate the uncomfortable silence.
“I’m sorry. It seems like that’s been the question of
the day for you,” he continued.

“I don’t need your concern.” Her hands

tightened into fists as she walked around him to
retrieve the attendance form before storming out
the opposite door. Her long legs ate up ground as
she hurried to get away from the gym. Can’t this
day just be over already?

The final bell of the day rang, sending waves of

relief through her. She hurried to her locker for her
horrible math book before she missed the bus and
was late to work. As she crossed through senior
court toward the parking lot, she spotted Derek
coming out of the gym. His letterman’s jacket was
slung casually over his right shoulder as he loosely
held his gym bag. The cold breeze tickled his
normally close-cropped hair as he walked across
the parking lot to his truck. He turned in her
direction and those stormy hazel eyes fixed on her.
What now? Can’t he just leave? I’ve had enough of
him for one day. Would he be happy if I just
stamped ‘white trash’ across my forehead? Jesse
continued to move with purpose across the parking
lot as she tried to put Derek Aames out of her mind.
She had more important things to occupy her than
worrying about what he was thinking.

Chapter 3

As usual, Jesse arrived at work early which

Charlotte never minded. Charlotte was always
happy to see her, which was such a wonder. She
was the mother of two grown sons, the wife of a
prominent lawyer, and the owner of Book Magic.
The sight of the store brought a sense of security to
Jesse, a rare but welcome feeling.

The bookstore’s window front was decorated

with the latest best sellers and an eclectic collection
of used and out of print books. Charlotte was
considering expanding the store since her
neighbor’s store had become vacant. The idea of
turning the adjacent vacant space into coffee/music
combo seemed like a natural addition to Book
Magic. Charlotte wanted to bring back the nostalgia
of going to the record store to leaf through vinyl
since they were making a resurgence. Hopefully, it
would draw more customers into the bookstore as
well.

Charlotte had one employee that worked the

store during the day, and Jesse took the evening
shift. Charlotte, with her southern drawl, was as
close to a nurturing mother figure as Jesse had.
Charlotte would usually leave Jesse dinner in the

small kitchenette in the stock room, always with the
excuse that she cooked like her boys were still
home and had tons of leftovers.

The smell of musty books mixed with the floral

potpourri Charlotte favored never failed to spread a
feeling of contentment over Jesse when she stepped
into the store. It was like a welcoming embrace
from a long-lost friend. She felt instantly comforted
because the books were always there waiting for
her without anger, malice, or judgment. They were
simply there, faithfully waiting to sweep her away
on countless adventures. She could be a secret
agent or a brilliant scientist, not one of those books
would pass judgment on her. They would always
welcome her into their worlds.

“Jesse, I’m so glad you’re here! We got the

shipment of Stephen King’s book and that
autobiography some politician wrote. You know
how I feel about politicians, so we’ll have to find
some dark corner to put that into,” Charlotte said
with a smile.

Charlotte walked over to the stock room in her

efficient way to show Jesse the shipment. Her short
blonde bob framed her expressive face as she
started in on her usual tirade about her need for
more space. It was the same story every time they
got a shipment. Jesse just chuckled as Charlotte
continued to rant.

“Why do you always let me go on so? Okay,

your dinner is in the fridge and I won’t be home
tonight, but I will have my cell phone on if you
need me,” Charlotte continued as she stacked the
inventory sheets on her desk while checking her
hair in the mirror that hung in the center of the
wall.

“Russ and I have to go to some dinner in the

city. Why I let that man drag me all over the earth,
I have no idea. Don’t stay late tonight, Jesse. You
leave as soon as you close up. Don’t worry about
setting up all the books. Just do whatever you can,
it will all get done eventually,” she finished.

“I will be fine Charlotte, like I am every night.

I’ve got it covered. Plus, it’s Monday and it’ll be
dead. I might get Mr. King stocked and clean the
classics. I’m looking to read Wuthering Heights
again.” The bookstore was Jesse’s personal library.
Charlotte gave her carte blanche on any of the
books. Jesse was always careful to return them in
the same condition as she found them.

Charlotte shook her head and chuckled as she

gathered her purse to head out in a whirlwind.
“Honey, you have a reader’s appetite that would
put any respectable librarian to shame. Are you
already done with Mr. Darcy again that you have to
throw yourself at Heathcliff? I swear child, you
have such a romantic heart.”

Jesse looked at her in consternation. It was

hard for her to express any feelings, especially

something so warm and fuzzy. She rolled
Charlotte’s comment around in her head for a
moment. Maybe it was true. Maybe she was a
romantic, but only in her choice of books. Feelings
and emotions were enemy territory when it came to
the precarious world of real people—she couldn’t
trust them. She just didn’t relate to people on most
levels except to suggest books or steer them toward
their interests. There seemed to be a book for every
occasion, except one that told her how to navigate
through her life.

“I see those wheels turning. Don’t you start

over-analyzing my ravings, honey pie,” replied
Charlotte. “Oh, I almost forgot! My mother-in-law
sent me this gift card for that young women’s store
in the mall. I swear that woman thinks I’m 20 years
old, which is not a bad thing. But here, you take it
and use it. I can’t redeem it for cash, and she will
flip out if it doesn’t get used.”

Jesse raised her hand in protest. “I can’t take

that, it’s yours,” she exclaimed.

“Why do you always put up a fuss when I give

you something?” Charlotte exhaled with her hands
on her hips. “Just think of it as overtime pay for all
the times you stay late and don’t tell me about it.”

“Charlotte, you know if I come home with new

stuff Sheila will start asking questions. I can’t take
the chance. She would make life a living hell for
you.” Jesse continued to tie her apron without

making eye contact.

“Honey, why can’t you trust me to take care of

things with her?”

Jesse lifted her eyes with anxiety etched into

the corners of her mouth. “Because it would be
pointless! By the time the state came in, I’ll have
aged out of the system. And the bottom line is that I
don’t want her showing up at your house causing
drama, and believe me, she would. All it would do
is cause people to talk, and that’s the last thing I
need.”

Charlotte knew that a lot of Jesse’s check went

to her mother for her drinking habits. Jesse couldn’t
even afford basic things. Even socks were luxury
items to her. It crushed Charlotte knowing how
much Jesse went without, and she tried to sneak in
a “luxury item” as often as she could. Over the last
couple of years Jesse had trusted her enough to talk
about her mother. The everyday pressures she
faced with an alcoholic would crumble most adults,
but Jesse just kept moving forward and hoping for a
better future.

Charlotte thought Jesse was extraordinary and

deserved every opportunity to have her hopes
fulfilled. Jesse was the daughter she never had and
she would help her in any way she could without
making it look too obvious. That girl had a lot of
pride. Maybe that was what gave her the strength
to endure her life.

“I understand for now, but I’m still giving you

stuff. You just mix it in with the old and she’ll never
know. Okay, I better run before Russ comes
hollerin’ at me.” Charlotte winked as she swung her
purse onto her shoulder and blew out the door.

Chapter 4

As Derek climbed into his truck after school,

he spied Jesse running to the bus stop. A memory
fluttered through his mind of a small girl with
haunting blue eyes. Even as far back as junior high
he had found her intriguing. She’d always been
quiet, never with other people or at any of the
school functions. She was a puzzle that captured his
mind. She was a talented writer but struggled in
math. As the student aide for the math teacher,
he’d seen her test scores a few times. An enigma.
The only time he ever got a read on Jesse was when
her nose was in a book. The expressions on her
face would tell whether she was reading a sad,
funny, or happy story. Those cornflower blue eyes
seemed to hold endless secrets. She was different
from the other girls at school and he was curious to
find out why as he shifted his truck into gear.

Derek was a serious, goal-oriented kind of guy;

he had to be if he wanted to get into medical
school. Yet there was a curious side that wouldn’t
shut up about Jesse. He definitely wasn’t
considering a relationship after the mess he’d found
himself in with Missy James last year. He thought
he’d had a connection with Missy, but she was

more involved with herself or with any guy that
paid attention to her. He’d hoped that if he
showered Missy with his undivided attention and
respect she would learn how to be kind and
committed to a relationship. But Missy would
always be selfish and would hurt anyone who got in
her way. There was no fixing her. He wouldn’t
allow himself to be played like a fool again. He
knew what people said about Jesse and her mother.
He felt bad for her situation, but he wasn’t sure he
could or wanted to be involved.

But yet, here he was, sitting in his truck

following Jesse to the middle of town. He leaned
back as he put his truck into park, musing on his
actions. He couldn’t put his finger on it, but when
Jesse had read her poem this morning something
started focusing in his mind. He’d made the
decision to follow the bus on the spur of the
moment, and he drove slowly around the strip mall
before parking across the street. He picked a spot
that gave him a full view of the mall and Jesse. She
got off the bus and looked in either direction, as if
sensing someone was watching her. A stray breeze
blew a strand of hair in her face as she tucked it
behind her ear. She readjusted the books in her
arms to head in the direction of the strip mall’s
book store, which did not surprise him at all. The
answers to his questions would not be found sitting
in his truck acting like a crazed stalker. Maybe a

plan was in order, he thought as he backed out and
pulled into traffic.

Chapter 5

Derek watched Jesse over the next couple of

weeks. She never varied her routine. She moved in
and out of classes never speaking to anyone,
hanging out with anyone, or raising her hand to
participate in English class. She took her seat in
class without a passing glance at anyone, her nose
forever in a book. Sometimes she would eat an
apple at lunch, but most of the time she didn’t eat
at all. How did she survive? She was thin but had
subtle curves. She always looked hollowed-eyed as
if she hadn’t slept more than a couple of hours. He
felt an overwhelming need to protect her. Seeing
Missy and Bryce go after Jesse made him more
determined to watch out for her. He knew there
must be a reason for Bryce to be more of a jerk
than normal. He would eventually figure out what
his issue was with Jesse.

The weather held the hint of spring in the air.

Students that were lucky enough to score a spot
could enjoy the sunshine under one of the many
trees scattered throughout the campus during lunch.
That’s where he spotted her, under a tree near the
library sitting just beyond the hectic lunch
activities.

Derek watched Jesse raise her face to the sun,

soaking it in like a delicate flower stretching to
capture the warmth. He hoped his plan would work
and not send her running. He started across the
quad as his sister stepped in front of him, clearly
blocking his path.

“Derek, what are you doing?”
“I’m going to eat lunch with Jesse,” he replied

as he tried to peer around his sister.

“Did she invite you? Because Jesse doesn’t

invite anyone to lunch.”

“Not exactly.” He avoided his sister’s knowing

glare.

“Derek, I know you’re not the type of guy that

messes with girls, but she’s just . . . I don’t know . .
. different. You know what I mean?” Darin glanced
over at Jesse with concern in her voice.

“Yeah, I know she is. I just want to get to know

her better.” He glanced over Darin’s head to watch
Jesse, knowing his eyes betrayed the interest that
was more than just curiosity.

Darin folded her arms across her chest, a sure

sign she had concerns. “Jesse is sensitive and shy,
but I trust you, brother dear, without question.”
Darin smiled. The nice thing about twins was they
could practically read each other’s minds. He was
sure Darin was contemplating the rumors they’d
both heard about Jesse’s mom, but he knew that
didn’t matter to her. She would only be concerned

about Jesse’s feelings.

“I know she doesn’t hang out with me, but I am

one of the few people she will talk to. I really like
her, so don’t screw this up,” she said as she
punched Derek in the arm and walked back to her
waiting friends.

~ ~ ~

Jesse saw Darin talking with Derek, and when

Darin glanced in her direction she instantly became
wary; her highly developed intuition told her she
may be the topic of their conversation. Even
though she was an expert at keeping her home life a
secret, she always felt like people were whispering
about her tragic circumstances. Her fear of being
ratted out as the town drunk’s daughter was like a
second skin that fit her too tightly. She was
determined to put it out of her mind. I have to stop
being so paranoid, she thought. There was no
reason for Derek Aames to be discussing her with
his sister, but her gut called her a liar. She hunkered
down, about to dive back into her book when
Derek walked up, his shadow blocking the sun
she’d enjoyed moments earlier. He plopped down
with his lunch right next to her. Jesse was confused
and scared beyond belief. She looked around to see
if this was some sort of setup, but none of his other
friends seemed to be lurking behind trees. She
watched him for a moment as he took his lunch out.

He didn’t stop or make eye contact with her.
Maybe he doesn’t see me, she thought hopefully.
But she knew that was ridiculous since he was
literally inches from her elbow. She somehow
managed to find her voice even though it shook
with fear.

“Um . . . what are you doing?” she asked barely

above a whisper.

“I thought you might want some company for a

change. Do you want half of my superior PB&J? I
made it myself,” he asked.

She looked down, struggling to comprehend

what he was saying, what he was doing. This was
so foreign to her she just couldn’t respond to his
question.

“Well, since you have apparently lost your

voice, I will decide for you.” He tore his napkin in
half, laying down half of the sandwich on the
notebook in front of her.

She swallowed hard before she replied. She

knew she was going to sound bitchy, but her pride
was at full attention, ready for battle.

“I don’t need this, and I don’t need company.”

She drew her attention back to the opened book in
her lap.

Derek didn’t let her tone deter him from

staying. He realized he would have to have
patience. He took a quick bite to give himself a
minute to think of a suitable reply to put her at

ease.

“Think of it this way-it’s an olive branch of

peace and friendship,” he said with a grin as he
continued to munch on his sandwich as he gazed
about the campus.

“But . . . I don’t need friends.”
“Jesse, everyone needs a friend. And it’s just a

sandwich.” He pushed the sandwich closer to her as
he tried to encourage her to eat. “Look, we don’t
have to talk. We can just eat in silence, okay?”

Jesse looked down at the sandwich and back at

him, not sure what to do. Her mind was telling her
to get up and leave, but her stomach was screaming
a different story. She was hungry, and it was just a
sandwich. She would just tell her pride to shut up
for a little while. She picked it up tentatively, turned
it around several times and took a hesitant bite. She
hadn’t tasted a PB&J in so long she’d almost
forgotten what it was like. The peanut butter was
smooth and creamy with a luscious layer of tangy
yet sweet strawberry jam. Derek looked at her with
anticipation, eyebrows raised, and she gifted him a
slight grin.

“I told you it was a superior PB&J.” He

chuckled.

He kept his word as they sat in silence during

the lunch period. She pretended to ignore him by
reading her book, but it was fruitless. She could
smell the leather from his varsity jacket mixed with

the clean scent of woods from his soap. The bell
rang, signaling the end of lunch. He got up to wait
for her as she threw away her trash, never saying a
word. They continued in companionable silence as
they walked to their lockers since they were in the
senior court and his was down a couple of rows
from Jesse’s. He said goodbye and told her he
would see her at 6

when she came for the

attendance. She acknowledged him with a nod as
he walked away. She walked to her classes the rest
of the day in a confused fog. Why was he talking to
me? Why did he share his lunch? Jesse didn’t want
to believe he could possibly be interested in her, but
such a possibility gave her stomach a few tumbles
on a roller coaster. Of course, she was used to
waiting for the next shoe to drop. She couldn’t
forget that people always had an ulterior motive.
What could he want with me?

Chapter 6

She was still debating the possibilities when she

got to work that afternoon. She walked into the
store, looking for Charlotte. She felt comfortable
enough to talk to her boss about most things that
confused her. She didn’t volunteer a lot of details
about her home life, but sometimes it was
unavoidable, especially after the time Charlotte had
witnessed Sheila in action. One Saturday night,
Sheila had come to the store drunk and screaming
for her money. Charlotte had been kind enough to
say nothing and had just put her arm around Jesse
after Sheila left. Jesse didn’t want Charlotte’s or
anyone else’s pity, but sometimes a shoulder to lean
on was not a bad thing. Jesse didn’t give her trust
easily, but over time Charlotte had earned it. Jesse
knew things had to get better as long as she kept
focused on her escape plan, which was her
education.

She found Charlotte in the mystery section,

looking over some inventory sheets.

“Hey Jess, how was school today?”
“Um, weird. This boy sat with me at lunch and

then gave me half of his sandwich. What does that
mean, or better yet, what does he want?” she asked

as she straightened some of the titles on the shelf.

Charlotte couldn’t help it, she burst into

laughter at the intense seriousness of Jesse’s
expression. “Whew! Jesse, hold on a sec while I
catch my breath.” Charlotte gasped as the last
chuckle escaped.

Jesse folded her arms, waiting for Charlotte to

compose herself. She drummed her fingers on her
arms to keep her irritation from showing.
“Charlotte, I’m being serious,” she snapped.

“Honey, I know you are, but sometimes you

have to just let things be.”

Jesse stood silently, her eyes fierce with

dissatisfaction. Charlotte sighed, knowing she
would have to explain this clearly and logically for
Jesse to be able to understand. “Okay. I’m
assuming the reason he sat with you and shared his
lunch is because he likes you,” Charlotte said
matter-of-factly.

“Likes me!” Jesse shrieked in horror.
“Yes, likes you. And why wouldn’t he? You’re

beautiful, kind, and smart. Don’t underestimate
those blue eyes of yours, either. You make quite a
pretty package any boy with half a mind would be
chasin’ you real quick like!” Jesse would never
admit it, but she liked hearing Charlotte’s southern
drawl with her hilarious sayings.

“Charlotte, I think you’ve been sniffing book

glue too much today,” Jesse said as she turned to

put her belongings in the back room.

Charlotte followed her, blocking the door to

finish the conversation. “Jesse, why don’t you tell
me about this boy first before you start assuming
my mental faculties have escaped me.”

Jesse moved around the stock room with well-

rehearsed movements. She put her book bag on the
shelf and grabbed her apron off the rack next to it.
She took her time answering Charlotte as she put
the apron over her head and tied the back.

“Well . . . there isn’t much to tell. He plays on

the basketball team. He’s in my English class, and .
. . oh yeah, his name is Derek Aames,” she said,
almost as an afterthought.

Charlotte’s pink painted mouth formed a small

oh as she recognized the name. She nodded her
head up and down, acknowledging she knew the
name. “You mean Dr. Aames’ boy? The tall one
with blond hair?” She indicated with her hand held
high above her head.

“Yeah, you know him?” Jesse replied.
“I’ve seen him at some functions with his

parents. They belong to the same golf club as Russ
and me. Let me tell you, that is one good-looking
boy. He’s not all skinny arms and legs like most
basketball players.”

“Um . . . I hadn’t noticed,” Jesse replied as she

busied herself gathering inventory sheets.

“That’s because, my dear, you always have

your nose in a book. Maybe it’s time you looked up
and saw the world around you.”

Jesse paused a moment to consider Charlotte’s

idea and immediately dismissed it. She gathered the
rest of the inventory sheets to finish helping
Charlotte. “Charlotte, I know enough about the
world around me to know that I don’t need to add
people like Derek Aames to it. I have to study so I
can get into college. That is my only concern.” She
didn’t mention her need to survive six more months
of her mother’s drinking and abuse before she
could escape.

“Okay honey, I hear what you’re saying, but

you need to enjoy life too. I know what you have to
deal with at home, but it’s okay to grab some
happiness for yourself, especially if a very
handsome young man is offering it to you.”

Jesse stiffened at Charlotte’s reference to her

home life. Charlotte was too much of a lady to ever
say anything to Jesse about her mom, but it still
embarrassed Jesse that she knew her secret.

“Jesse, relax. All I’m sayin’ is it’s important to

live life. Don’t start trying to read into every
comment I say, okay, honey?” Charlotte said in a
soothing tone while rubbing Jesse’s shoulder. Jesse
relaxed and gave Charlotte a slight smile.

“Who knows? Hanging out with me was

probably punishment for some bet he lost. He
won’t be back tomorrow.”

Chapter 7

To Jesse’s astonishment, the lunch routine

continued over the next several weeks. Every day,
Derek plopped down with his lunch and gave her
half. At first, he didn’t really try to talk to her. She
appreciated his quiet attempt at putting her at ease.
It gave her time to adjust and contemplate his
motives. Initially, she felt edgy in his presence, so
any sudden movements or comments on his part
were sure to scare her off. Jesse liked that he was
thoughtful in his approach to starting a
conversation. She couldn’t have handled it if he’d
been self-centered or just plain ignorant. As long as
Derek kept conversations focused on anything but
questioning Jesse about herself she started to relax.

He would casually ask her opinion about

English homework or something as mundane as the
weather. Sometimes he regaled her with a funny
story about himself, or some comical event that had
occurred at school. Jesse would just smile or try to
stifle a chuckle. It seemed his goal was to get her to
smile. Over the last week they’d finally gotten to a
comfortable place and conversations had become
more than just monosyllabic. She finally allowed
her guard down enough so Derek saw more of the

real Jesse. She thought that girl had disappeared
long ago.

Today, she rewarded Derek with a full-blown

smile as he sat down next to her. She watched as he
leaned back on his elbows to stretch out his long
jean-clad legs. He seemed to be contemplating
something before he proceeded silently with their
lunch routine. She gave him furtive glances as he
munched on his lunch; his gaze was steadfast on
her face. Jesse started to fidget under his stare.

“What? Is there something on my face?” she

asked as she ran the back of her hand over her
nose.

“No. Your face is perfect.” He smiled. “I have

a confession to make. I’ve been reading Pride &
Prejudice.”

She smiled at his revelation. He acted like he’d

just confessed a horrible sin. “Why would you read
that book? It doesn’t seem like something that you
would be interested in,” she said.

“Ever since that day in English class, when Ms.

Lee couldn’t get your attention because you were
reading, I was curious. You were so focused and
you had this excited look on your face. I just had to
see what was so great about that book.”

She could see his mind wrestling with his next

words. Of course Jesse expected some sort of
negative comment. Instead, Derek smiled as he
blew out a breath. “You know, I watch you when

you read sometimes. Your face says a lot more than
your voice does. Like, right now, your eyes have
some pretty serious shadows underneath them. It
looks like you could use a little sleep,” he finished.

Jesse stiffened as she looked away. Her mother

had been on a heavy bender over the weekend and
most of the week. The lack of sleep was starting to
catch up with Jesse. She only got about four hours
on a good night. Sometimes Sheila would stay with
her latest boyfriend, which allowed Jesse to get
some sleep, but that hadn’t been the case lately.

Jesse started picking up their lunch mess as the

bell rang, grateful for the distraction so she didn’t
have to reply. It was too close for comfort. A huge
yawn overtook her and she tried to stifle it with the
back of her hand. She rose with the trash and
headed to the trash can near the end of the hall that
led to their lockers. Derek fell into step next to her
as they walked through the crowd of students.
Instead of his customary “See ya later.” He stopped
at her locker. She looked up at him, a tingling of
unease beginning in her chest. She hoped her lack
of response would end this conversation. She didn’t
want him to know the reason behind her lack of
sleep.

“I hope you’re not mad about what I said, but

are you getting enough sleep?” Derek looked
expectantly at her for an answer. But how far could
she trust him?

Jesse cringed at the question. With reluctance,

she softly answered, “I don’t sleep very well all the
time.” It was the first time she’d said something so
close to truth to someone besides Charlotte. It felt
good to share, to lift some of her burden. The
concern in his eyes was obvious. It gave her a very
strange feeling she couldn’t explain.

“I thought maybe that might be the case

because those dark circles are not adding to your
great blue eyes,” he said light-heartedly as he laid
his palm on her cheek with his thumb tracing the
circles.

Jesse stood motionless as his touch sent jolts of

electricity through her system. She thought she was
going to short circuit right in front of him, but with
sheer willpower she forced herself not to jerk away
from the contact. She knew enough of his
personality now to know he was used to touching
people. She had seen him with his twin sister,
Darin, tugging her hair or slinging his arm across
her shoulders, but this was the first time he had
touched her.

She knew the panic must have been evident in

her eyes because he dropped his hand to his side.
She

felt

bad

for

probably

making

him

uncomfortable, but she couldn’t help it. He seemed
to recover quickly as a mischievous gleam twinkled
in his eyes.

“Well, maybe if you got more sleep, you

wouldn’t be struggling so hard in math. I saw your
last test score,” he said in a conspiratorial whisper.

“That is so not right! Aren’t you supposed to

keep that information confidential? Didn’t you sign
some sort of agreement or something?” she asked
as she jerked opened her locker to retrieve her
books. Derek watched her as she moved books
around looking for the right one. She’d pull one out
then slam it back in place with a resounding bang
against the thin metal walls of her locker. After a
few moments she found the right book and
slammed the door, turning snapping blue eyes in his
direction.

Derek raised his palms in his defense. “Hey,

don’t get mad. I have a solution to your problem.
How about you wait for me after school in the
senior court and I will help you with your math?”

“I can’t. I will miss my bus to work,” she said.
“What time do you have to be there?”
“Um . . . 5:00.”
“Okay. Basketball practice is over about 3:45.

We can work on math till about 4:30, then I will
drive you to work. I’m sure you’ll have other
homework to do until I get done.” He tugged a
strand of her hair as he left before she could
protest.

Jesse walked to class, not sure how she’d

gotten roped into homework help from Derek. Her
mind whirled from confusion to anger in no time

flat. Who does he think he is, arranging my
afternoon for me? I can figure out my homework
without his help. She paused to seriously consider
that last thought. Well, I guess I haven’t been doing
so great in math. Still, I’ve been self-sufficient my
whole life. I don’t need him taking me to work and
bossing me around. Her indignant attitude began to
wane as she made her way to the grass area of the
courtyard. Even though she knew she didn’t need
him, she was smart enough to know she should take
the help. Math sucks. She sighed internally.

~ ~ ~

Jesse wasn’t the only one contemplating

Derek’s little hallway display. Across the courtyard,
Missy James had watched intently as Derek laid his
hands on that trash Jesse’s face. She was so angry a
vein bulged out of her neck. Who does Jesse think
she is? It’s bad enough Derek has been eating
lunch with her, but now he’s touching her?

As she fumed, one of Missy’s hyenas, Katelyn,

leaned against Missy’s locker. “Missy, did you see
Derek and Jesse?”

“Yes, I saw them, Katelyn. I’m not blind,” she

snapped, slamming her locker door.

“What are you going to do?” Katelyn asked.
“Jesse and I are going to have another

conversation, so she can understand her place in
this school,” Missy spat with venom as they turned

to make their way to class.

Chapter 8

Jesse got a call slip to the counseling office

during 6

period, which meant someone else would

have to get the attendance from the gym. She met
with her counselor on a fairly regular basis now that
college applications needed to be completed, not to
mention

the

mountains

paperwork

for

scholarships and financial aid. Mr. Kramer’s office
was near the front of the school. The office was
quiet, except for the murmuring from other
counselors either with students or on their phones.
The smell of copied paper permeated the air. Flyers
hung haphazardly in various colors on bulletin
boards near the front door. They screamed at
students to apply to this university or that
internship program. They offered semesters abroad
and financial aid seminars. The opportunities were
overwhelming. Jesse dreamed of learning Italian in
Italy, or taking a Mediterranean cruise to study
Greek art and culture. The possibilities were
endless. She just had to stay focused and under the
radar. Six more months. She hoped to get an
internship with a media company. She wanted to be
a journalist by day and a closet poet by night, but
she knew she wouldn’t go anywhere unless she

kept her grades up. Education was her ticket out.
Maybe I could try a semester abroad after I’m
settled in college, she thought. She wouldn’t have
to pay her mother anymore and she was really good
at saving money. Maybe I could work in Europe for
the summer, she mused. Hope and determination
were all she had. Was that why she had survived
this long? Given the obstacles she had, she knew it
would be easier to give up hoping for a better life.
But if she didn’t have hope, there would be no
reason to get good grades, or stay away from drugs,
alcohol, or sex for that matter. She would end up
being one of many statistics of teenage pregnancy
or a drug addict. She didn’t want to add to an
already

hard

life;

that

just

seemed

counterproductive in her mind. But luckily she
knew the path out of her world and into a better
one. Six more months, she thought again.

Jesse was used to getting offers from her

mom’s friends to go party. More than one of them
had offered her money to ‘hang out’ with them. She
knew what they wanted, and it absolutely disgusted
her. She was going to make something of herself.
She might not be at the top of the class, but she had
common sense and the ability to work hard. Life
was about choices and she could only rely on
herself to make the best ones.

Mr. Kramer’s office was the last door on the

left next to the odiferous copier, which caused him

to keep his door shut. She tapped lightly on the
frosted glass window and was met with a loud
“Yeah” from within the stuffy, small cave. She
opened the door to find Mr. Kramer missing from
his desk. She heard grunts, grumbles, and the sound
of shuffling papers coming from behind the desk.

“Mr. Kramer?” she said hesitantly.
“Hi Jesse, I was expecting you. Don’t mind me.

Unfortunately, my filing system just decided to
have a system failure.” He laughed.

Mr. Kramer was one of the youngest

counselors and the easiest to talk to. He was in his
early 30’s, but sported the appearance of a man
who couldn’t give up his 20’s. He always wore
jeans and Converse tennis shoes with whichever
rock band T-shirt moved him that morning.
Sometimes it was Linkin Park or the Foo Fighters.
You just never knew with Mr. Kramer. He had
black hair slicked back from a narrow face. Black,
square-framed glasses slipped down his narrow
nose, but his ever-present grin was in full force. He
stacked papers he’d gathered on the corner of his
desk and plopped into his chair, gesturing for Jesse
to sit in the chair opposite his desk.

“Have a seat, Jess. What’ve you been up to?”

he asked.

“Nothing much,” she replied.
It was always the same conversation with him.

She wouldn’t volunteer anything, but she knew he

was going to ask anyway. Same dance, different
day, she mused. She knew her grades were good,
and she didn’t get into trouble. She knew a
counselor couldn’t report her mother to social
services unless there were obvious signs of neglect
or abuse or unless Jesse said something herself,
which was not going to happen. She was going to
stay under the radar and that included keeping Mr.
Kramer at arm’s length no matter how much she
liked him. She knew his intentions were good, but it
would be too much trouble to say anything when
she would be gone soon enough. Jesse did
everything to avoid bringing attention herself.

Jesse had filled out all the applications and she

suspected Mr. Kramer knew she had also forged
her mother’s name. If that was the only thing she
was guilty of, she hoped he wouldn’t say anything,
especially if it helped her get into a good college.

“How’s math coming along?” He leaned back

in his chair with his fingers laced, elbows resting on
his chair.

Inwardly, Jesse cringed at the question. It was

the only subject she struggled with. It took her
hours to do her math homework.

“If I can get a good grade on my next test, I

should be able to pull it up to a B. My last test
really sucked.”

“I know you can do it, and if you take some

help from Derek Aames, you should be able to

make that B. That’ll keep that GPA up for college.”

Jesse flushed at the mention of Derek’s name.

How did he know I’ve been spending time with
him? She still didn’t understand herself why Derek
stuck around. What does Mr. Kramer think is going
on? The panic began creeping in. She didn’t know
how to respond. Jesse avoided conversations with
anyone of authority. She never had to account for
her actions in her personal life.

“Jesse, calm down. You’re thinking so hard the

smoke is starting to come out of your ears. I’ve
seen Derek with you at lunch. He’s excellent in
math. I’m sure he would help you if you asked
him.” He paused. “Have you asked him for help?”

Jesse sat looking at his questioning eyes. She

was feeling exposed. She wasn’t ready to discuss
Derek and their relationship with anyone. Oh God,
do we have a relationship? Panic began welling in
her stomach as she clenched and unclenched her
hands in her lap. She was trying to bring her
tumultuous thoughts under control to no avail.

“Well, I didn’t ask for his help, but he told me I

needed it, so he’s going to help me today after
school.” She was once again embarrassed about the
way Derek had bulldozed his way into her life. The
frustration of needing his help boiled over, and
Jesse took her frustration out on Mr. Kramer. “Did
you know he looked at my test? I’m not happy
about that. Who does he think he is, telling me I

need help? I just need a little more time to figure
this stuff out,” she huffed.

Jesse noticed his cocked eyebrow at her tirade.

He probably thinks I’m a lunatic, she thought.

Mr. Kramer leaned forward in his chair with his

hands folded on his desk. A knowing smile curled at
the corners of his mouth. “I know you can do it, but
a little help can’t hurt, right? Plus, we guys like to
show how strong we are by helping out. You know,
protecting our territory?” He laughed.

Jesse was thrown back by the comment. “I’m

not his or anyone’s territory,” she stammered. “I’m
not even sure what I am to him, but it’s definitely
not territory. I don’t want his pity or his charity. I
can do it all by myself.” Jesse didn’t know what
had come over her to speak so openly to Mr.
Kramer. It was like an alien took over her body, but
she definitely didn’t want anyone to think there
was something between her and Derek.

“Jesse, calm down. Derek doesn’t pity you by

any means. I’m sure he wants to help. I know you
can do anything you want to do. I have faith in you.
You’re a very strong girl. Getting help is a smart
move because we all need it at some point. Now
let’s talk about options for college, okay?” he said
quickly, hoping to change the subject.

Chapter 9

Mr. Kramer had given her a lot to consider. She

wasn’t sure how it would all work out: college,
money, jobs, but she would just have to tackle it
one thing at a time. The last bell rang signaling the
end of a very long day. She went to her locker to
get her homework and stood there debating if she
should just leave. It wasn’t Derek’s responsibility to
help. It was hard to accept help when none had
ever been given before in her life. It was a new
muscle she never exercised. Plus, she was still mad
at him for looking at her tests. She headed in the
direction of the tree in senior court, her decision
made.

These last few weeks with him had been

surreal. He was beginning to become a habit in her
little world. The thought didn’t sit comfortably in
her mind. She didn’t want to depend on him or
anyone. That would only lead to disappointment.
But when he looked at her with those misty, hazel
eyes, all reasonable thought left her brain. She
would, for once, try and take Charlotte’s advice
and just let it be. She had tried to discourage him,
but it seemed like he didn’t even hear her. He
would just keep on talking over her. She had to

admit though, she liked hearing his deep voice. It
was rich and warm, like a cozy blanket. She’d
finally resigned herself to the fact that she had no
idea what she was doing and may be neurotic. With
a sigh of resignation, she sank down in the plush
grass to wait for him. A slight breeze rustled the
leaves above her and the air was warm and sweet
with the smell of the freshly-cut grass. She finished
her government homework and worked a little on
an essay, but she was so tired. The school was
virtually empty except for a few kids that straggled
about the campus. It was quiet and relaxing being
under the tree. A quick rest wouldn’t hurt. I’ll just
lie down and close my eyes for a minute, just to re-
charge, she thought.

~ ~ ~

Derek had been practicing free throw shots

with Dale rebounding the balls. Dale had been
Derek’s best friend since kindergarten. He knew
him better then Derek knew himself, he thought
sometimes. It wasn’t unusual that Dale would pick
up that there was something on Derek’s mind. He
wasn’t in the mood to talk, but he knew Dale would
eventually get it out of him.

“What’s going on, Derek?” Dale asked.
Derek sighed as he jumped to release a perfect

arcing shot into the basket. “Would it do me any
good to tell you that I don’t want to talk about it?”

“No.” Dale laughed then launched the ball

back to Derek. “I could guess if you like. Is it
Jesse?” he asked.

Derek stopped mid bounce to hold the ball on

his hip, his head hung in astonishment. How does he
always know?

“I don’t know what to do. I really like her, but

she has some serious baggage,” Derek said as he
resumed shooting the ball.

“You know what they say about her,” Dale

replied. “She’s not exactly girlfriend material and I
know you. You can’t fix her or save her,” he said as
he tossed the ball back to him.

“I’m not trying to fix her or save her,” Derek

exclaimed.

“You can lie all you want to yourself, but

you’re not going to lie to me. It didn’t work when
you tried to fix Missy. You couldn’t change her
from being a selfish bitch, and it messed you up.”

Derek couldn’t deny that his relationship with

Missy had hurt him, but he wasn’t sure if his heart
had been hurt or his ego. Maybe that’s why he was
hesitant to jump into a relationship with Jesse. He
knew she was different. Although, she’s not making
it easy either, he chuckled. He’d been enjoying
getting to know her and he couldn’t deny she was
beautiful. Still, if Dale was any indication of what
kind of crap he would hear from other people, he
wasn’t sure if she was worth it.

“Derek, you have to be honest with yourself.

What do you want from her? I know you’re not
trying to go for an easy score. I heard she doesn’t
go out with anyone. Bryce even tried to go after her
and was shot down. Surprising, considering her
mom’s a drunk. I thought for sure she would be an
easy mark.”

Derek stopped bouncing the ball as his anger

came fast and hot. “You’re my best friend, but you
better watch what you say.” Derek pointed a
threatening finger at him.

“Hey, I have nothing against her. Hell, I don’t

even know her, but I know you. I’m just trying to
help you out. Bottom line is I’ll have your back
100%, but I just want you to think about it first,
okay?” Dale replied.

“Okay,” Derek agreed. Dale was right, he had a

lot to think about. He now understood why Bryce
had it out for Jesse. She knew he was a tool. His
head was having a hard time keeping his heart in
check. He looked up at the clock, noticing it was
getting late.

“I gotta go, Jesse is waiting for me,” he said as

they both headed to the locker room.

He was halfway to senior court when he saw

Jesse curled on her side with her hand on her
notebook. Her hair had come out of its clip and
covered part of her face as she slept. At first his
heart dropped into his stomach when he saw her

lying motionless. He made it to her side in seconds
only to realize that she was sleeping. He knew she
was exhausted, so he took his jacket out of his bag
and covered her. He brushed the hair away from
her face and gently touched her cheek. What am I
going to do? he thought as his heart skipped. He
took out Pride & Prejudice and sat beside her as
she slept. At least he could let her rest peacefully
for the next hour.

Chapter 10

She dreamed of a forest with birds singing in

the trees and dappled light filtering through the
branches. She turned in a circle, looking at the
beauty of the forest and knowing she was safe. She
saw Derek walking toward her with a smile in his
eyes and his arms outstretched to her in a welcome.
She wanted to rush headlong into those
outstretched arms, but suddenly the sky darkened
to an ominous black. Wind whipped her hair into a
frenzy around her face. She started running to
Derek, yelling his name. His face changed to one of
disgust and mockery as he turned to leave her in
the shadow of the forest. She kept screaming for
him to come back, but she was alone in the dark.
She was gasping and crying as she tried to surface
from the dream. She couldn’t remember where she
was, all she knew was a clawing fear that sucked
the breath from her lungs. She realized someone
was holding her and reassuring her in a quiet voice.
She smelled the clean scent of woods and felt arms
around her as he cradled her in his lap. Her head
was nestled on his shoulder as he was stroking her
arms and back to wake her gently.

She held her breath for a moment, not sure

what to do or say. She had no idea how she ended
up sitting on Derek Aames. She was mortified
beyond comprehension. She eased away from him,
resting her hand on his chest, trying to make sense
of the situation.

“What happened? How did I get here? Not

here at school, but in your lap?” she asked as a
blush rose on her cheeks.

He was holding her by her arms, his face filled

with concern. “You almost gave me a heart attack.
Are you okay? And why am I always asking you
that?” He chuckled.

She noticed he was breathing with some

exertion as if he had been running. He eased his
arms down to wrap them around her in a protective
embrace. She didn’t answer his rhetorical question,
but just waited for him tell her what happened.

“I found you asleep under the tree when I got

out of practice, so I decided to let you take a nap. I
knew you were wiped out. I covered you with my
jacket and decided to finish my book. You slept
about an hour when I was just about to wake you
up for work. I thought you were already awake,
because you said my name, but when I looked,
your eyes were still closed and you were crying.
You kept calling for me, but I couldn’t wake you. I
didn’t know what to do, so I picked you up, hoping
that would wake you up.”

“Oh. I guess I had a bad dream.” She was so

embarrassed she didn’t know what else to say. She
had never called him by name. She avoided using it
to keep him at a distance, so their relationship
would be less personal. Now here she was, sitting
on his lap, wearing his jacket with tears streaming
down her face because she thought he’d left her
alone in the woods.

“Do you want to tell me about it?” He brushed

the tears from her face with his thumbs as he lifted
her chin to meet his eyes. “I know when I talk
about a bad dream, it seems less real.” She could
see the curiosity swimming in his eyes. He probably
wanted to know what role he played in the dream
since she’d called for him in her sleep.

She shook her head and got up to retreat from

his gentleness. She didn’t know how to process this
kindness, it caused her stomach to churn with
unease. He continued to study her face with
concern as they both got up to leave.

“Okay, you don’t have to tell me, but you still

don’t look very steady.” He moved toward her and
wrapped his big arms around her again. It was
obvious he wasn’t going to let her evade him when
she clearly needed the comfort.

She had no choice but to lay her head against

his shoulder again. She could hear his steady, strong
heartbeat against her own fluttering one. She kept
her arms to her sides, trying to ignore the intimacy
of being held. The feeling of wanting basic human

contact and yet wanting to run away were so
confusing. What should she do? She didn’t want to
hurt his feelings by rejecting his kindness. Take a
chance, Jess, she thought.

She slowly raised her arms around his back and

lightly held on.

He smiled into her hair as he felt her arms

come around him, a small victory in the war for her
trust. She always smells of wildflowers, he thought
as he breathed in her scent. That’s how he thought
of her: as a wildflower that flourished in harsh
conditions.

“Hey, you know that was the first time you

ever said my name, even if you were unconscious.
You thought I hadn’t noticed, huh?”

He’d been careful not to bring up the fact that

she never called him by name. He thought a little
humor would ease her tension. This was also the
first time he’d gotten this close to her. She spooked
so easily. He wanted her to trust him at least as a
friend.

“Thanks . . . Derek,” she said as she leaned

back to look at him with her arms still wrapped
around him.

“Well, it sounds a lot better when you’re

awake, I have to admit.” He moved his hands to her
shoulders to push her hair back from her face and
fix it back into its clip. He looked at his watch and
noticed the time. “Oh man, I’d better get you to

work before you’re late.”

She shrugged out of his jacket with quick

efficiency. She handed it to him and bent to retrieve
her books. He couldn’t tell what was going through
her mind as he watched her. She was excellent at
hiding her thoughts and emotions. It was one more
thing to consider about the ever-changing dynamics
of Jesse Barnes.

“Why don’t you keep it, Jess? It’s getting

colder out here and you’re going to need something
for tonight,” he replied as he tried to hand it back to
her.

“No, I’m fine. We’d better get going.” She

hurried to the truck in an obvious attempt to avoid
further conversation. Boy, she is stubborn, he
thought.

Chapter 11

The drive to the bookstore was uncomfortably

quiet. She was so distracted as she tried to convince
herself it was normal for her to wake up in the arms
of the popular Derek Aames. Not even close. As he
pulled into the parking lot of the strip mall, it
occurred to her that she hadn’t told Derek where
she worked.

“How do you know where I work? I don’t

remember telling you,” she asked in a confused
tone.

She watched as he sat for a moment,

contemplating his response. She hoped he decided
on the truth because she would know instantly if he
was playing her. It would destroy the tenuous trust
he had built with her this afternoon if he lied.

“Don’t get mad, but I followed you one day

after school.”

She was stunned into silence. It made no sense.

Why would he follow me? She couldn’t reason it
out. “Why would you do that?” she asked.

Derek shrugged his shoulders as he turned to

look her square in the eye. “I honestly don’t know.
I guess curiosity. I know it sounds lame, but it’s the
truth. I just wanted to know more about you. Are

you mad?” He held his breath, waiting for her reply.

“I guess not. Actually, I’m not sure what to

think about it,” she furrowed her brow in confusion
as she gathered her books to get out.

With lightning speed, Derek climbed out of the

truck to open Jesse’s door for her. She was
impressed by how he made it to the passenger side
in three quick strides, just in time to grab her elbow
as she balanced her load of books. His hand slid
down her arm to casually hold her hand, as if he
had been doing it his whole life. She looked at their
clasped hands, but he didn’t let go as they walked
to the front of the store.

She was on sensory overload, but she had to

give Derek credit for his smooth move. Of course,
her first reaction was to pull away, but his grip was
so firm and warm. She didn’t even want to attempt
to escape for fear of causing a scene. It was odd
how every detail of his hand ran through her head.
She felt the small ridges of calluses along his palm.
From basketball, she assumed. She noticed how
her palm was practically swallowed by his larger
one. He absently caressed his thumb over her
knuckles. She liked the feel of his tender touch.
This can’t be a good thing, she mused. She looked
up at him as he gave her hand a quick squeeze
before he opened the door to the bookstore.

“Jesse, you need to get used to this, because

I’m going to hold your hand a lot more from now

on,” he said with determination.

The shock of an earthquake rocked her little

world. She was again thrown off balance – twice in
one day! Her power of speech was gone. She
couldn’t respond as they approached the store.
What does he mean he’s going to hold my hand?
They entered the store together, Derek not
releasing her from his grip. Charlotte was standing
at the front counter, which was inconvenient. Jesse
would surely be grilled about their status.

“Honey pie, what happened to you? You’re

usually here right after school. I was starting to get
worried.”

Charlotte trained her motherly eye on Derek

while waiting for an explanation. Jesse slipped her
hand from Derek’s. She quickly walked toward
Charlotte to stop her from interrogating him.

“I’m sorry. I waited for Derek after school, so

he could help me with my math homework.” She
didn’t tell her the rest of the story. It would only
cause Charlotte to worry. Then she would ask a
multitude of questions Jesse didn’t want asked or to
be answered in front of Derek. But before Jesse
could come up with a suitable story, much to her
horror, Derek opened his mouth.

“I actually found her asleep under a tree and

didn’t have the heart to wake her. If Jesse got more
sleep she probably wouldn’t need my help in math,
but lucky for me that’s not the case. By the way,

I’m Derek Aames, Mrs. Birch. I think you belong to
the same golf club as my parents,” he said with a
smile as he offered his outstretched hand to
Charlotte.

Charlotte raised her hand with a warm friendly

expression to shake Derek’s hand. “I do know your
mama and daddy, Mr. Aames, and I guess I should
be thanking you for looking after my girl.”

Charlotte looked at Jesse with a knowing

maternal glare. “Jesse, you haven’t been sleeping
again? I also bet you didn’t eat lunch today, and
you didn’t eat the dinner I left for you last night.”
She sighed.

Jesse didn’t say anything. She just stood there,

her eyes searching for a hole in the floor that would
swallow her whole. She was so embarrassed that
Charlotte was spilling her habits in front of Derek.
Jesse knew Charlotte didn’t mean any harm, but
how much more humiliation must she endure in one
day?

“Well,” Charlotte continued, “It’s a good thing

I decided to close the store early tonight, so you
don’t have to work tonight. You can catch up on
your homework and get some sleep.”

“Charlotte, I’m fine, and you know I’m never

behind on my work. Please don’t close the shop
because of me. I can work, really,” Jesse exclaimed
in a panic.

Jesse knew that look of determination on

Charlotte’s face. She would be wasting her breath
trying to argue. Once Charlotte made up her mind,
there was no changing it. Jesse didn’t want to feel
guilty for the store losing income. She was well
aware how every dollar counted.

“Well, baby love, not everything revolves

around you. Jeremy is coming home from college
tomorrow, and I need some extra time to prepare
for his visit instead of worrying about the inventory.
And don’t forget, you’re coming over tomorrow
night for dinner,” she chuckled.

Charlotte turned a warm, knowing smile on

Derek.

“Mr. Aames, you are more than welcome to

come over as well. Jesse and my Jeremy are like
two peas in a pod. She’s the little sister he always
wanted, but only so he wouldn’t be the younger
brother anymore,” she said.

Jesse knew there was no point in arguing, but

she looked dejectedly at Charlotte in hopes she
would reconsider closing the store.

“All right, I guess I’ll see you tomorrow night.

I’ve missed Jeremy,” she said quietly for
Charlotte’s ears only. Jesse turned to speak to
Derek, intending to give him the brush-off. “Thanks
for dropping me off. I’ll see you tomorrow,” she
said in a polite tone.

“Oh no, Mr. Aames’s job is not done,” retorted

Charlotte in her drill sergeant tone as she began

handing out duties. “Mr. Aames, can you please
take Jesse home? And, if you’re so inclined, she
probably could use a meal.”

Jesse was in shock as Charlotte arranged the

impromptu date with Derek. The last thing she
wanted was to be alone outside of school with him,
and she definitely did not want him seeing where
she lived. She looked at Charlotte, silently pleading
please don’t do this!

Derek looked down at her with a slight smile

and a wicked gleam in his eyes. “I would love to
get her some dinner and take her home. Not to
worry, Mrs. Birch. Just so you know, I’ve been
making sure she has some lunch. It’s given me a
new perspective on the art of negotiation,” he
grinned.

Jesse’s humiliation turned into anger and was

threatening to erupt like Mt. Vesuvius. She could
not believe the two of them were standing there
discussing her like some child being passed from
parent to parent.

She pointedly looked from one to the other

waiting for them to acknowledge her presence.
Nothing. Okay. So she decided to ram into the
conversation like a Mack truck. “Excuse me, do I
have a say in any of this?” she asked.

“No,” they replied in unison which caused

them both to explode with laughter. Jesse felt
boxed in and didn’t have a clue how to escape

without hurting someone’s feelings. Resignation
was the only tactic at this point.

Charlotte pulled Jesse toward the door ahead of

Derek.

“Jesse honey, it won’t kill you to take a night

off and enjoy the company of a fine young man.”

“I don’t want him to know where I live,” she

whispered.

“I know, but not everyone in this world judges

based on material things. I have a funny feeling you
could live in a shoebox and he wouldn’t care. Now
scoot!” Charlotte swatted her in the butt and out
the door. “Bye kids, see you tomorrow night,”
waved Charlotte.

As they walked outside, Jesse turned to Derek.

“Look. Don’t worry, I can get myself home.
Charlotte gets to be a little too much sometimes,
but she means well,” she confessed.

“You’re not getting off that easy,” he said. He

nudged her toward the truck while he took out his
cell phone.

“Hi, Mom. I won’t be home for dinner tonight.

I’m going to eat with Jesse. Yeah, I know. Okay,
bye.”

Jesse hoped Derek’s mom thought he was going

out with one of his basketball buddies since Jesse
could be a boy’s name as well. There is no way he
would tell his mother about her. Would he? “See?
All taken care of. Now how about some pizza?” he

asked.

Jesse was tired, frustrated, and emotionally

drained. She didn’t have money for pizza or the
energy to come up with an excuse Derek would
believe so he wouldn’t drive her home. Maybe I
should let him drive me home. Then he can see
where I live and he’ll forget about me real fast!
That made much more sense to her and was what
she had come to expect. Guys like Derek Aames
wanted the prissy, polished types like Missy James.
Jesse knew her bitchy thoughts were probably
displayed all over her face, but she just couldn’t
help it.

“I don’t have any money for pizza, and I don’t

need you to take me home.” Jesse stood by the
truck, her arms crossed in defiance.

Derek stood with his hands in his jacket

pockets, looking at the sky. She could only imagine
what he was thinking. Although, his expression was
one of exasperation.

“Why do you always immediately say no to

everything? I know you don’t need me to take you
home, but I want to. And what kind of guys have
you been out with that make you pay for your own
meals?” He took a step closer to close the distance
between them.

She wasn’t sure what to do. Did he really want

answers to those questions or was he just frustrated
with her? She waited a heartbeat before she

answered him in the most matter of fact tone she
could muster. “I always say no because it’s easier
then offering explanations. And I’ve never been out
with guys, so I just figured I would need to pay for
my meal. I’m not used to people doing for me.”

Derek lowered his head once again taking his

time in some sort of response. If he keeps doing
this our conversations are going to last hours, she
thought. She crossed her arms over her chest to
wait impatiently. Derek looked up at her, taking a
deep breath before he continued.

“Charlotte gives you dinner every night, and

she must do other things for you too.” He put his
hand on her arm in a reassuring manner.

“I’m used to Charlotte. I’ve known her since I

moved here. And don’t try to confuse me with
logic,” she half-heartedly growled.

He tried to stifle a grin as his frustration faded

from his eyes. “Well, you’re going to get used to
me too,” he said as he opened the door and helped
her into the passenger seat, effectively ending the
conversation.

Chapter 12

Derek angled the truck out of the strip mall and

headed toward the main part of town. There were
several restaurants in the parking lot around the
main mall. He pulled in front of Pete’s Pizza
Palace. Jesse had heard that it had the best pizza in
town, but never had the opportunity to experience
it. In fact, she couldn’t remember the last time she
had eaten pizza.

The restaurant blazed with shaded Tiffany-style

lamps hanging over every table. Booths lined the
mahogany walls and large tables that could seat a
family of eight filled the middle of the room. The
place was pretty quiet for a Thursday night. There
were a couple of guys watching a baseball game on
the big-screen TV hanging in the far corner and
enjoying their schooners of beer. The smell of pizza
was overwhelming. The sweet scent of fresh
tomatoes mixed with garlic, onions, and pepperoni
welcomed them like an old friend.

Derek and Jesse walked up to the counter

where the owner’s wife was manning the cash
register. “Can I help you?” she smiled.

“Yeah, we’d like two Cokes and a large . . .”

He trailed off and looked at Jesse for a choice of

toppings. When no response was forthcoming he
finally asked her, “What would you like on your
pizza?”

She studied the choices, racking her brain

trying to remember what she had had before. She
had maybe been five years old the last time she had
pizza. Charlotte never had pizza at her house when
she ate there or even when Jeremy was home.

“I don’t know,” she finally mumbled in

embarrassment.

He turned back to the cashier with a slight grin.

“We’ll keep it simple and just have a large
pepperoni.”

“The total is $19.56,” the cashier said. She

handed them their cups for the fountain machine
along with their order number for the table.

Derek handed her a $20 bill and waited for his

change. He grabbed the cups and walked with Jesse
to the soda machine. He filled his cup with Coke
and started to fill Jesse’s when she stopped him by
holding his arm.

“I don’t really like soda,” she said shyly.
“How about some lemonade?” he grinned. She

nodded in acceptance as he filled and handed her
the cup. “See? I learned something new about you
today,” he said as he steered her toward a corner
booth. “Now can you explain why you don’t know
what you like on pizza?”

She toyed with the straw in the cup as the blush

crept up her neck. This is too much for me to
handle, she thought. I don’t know how to make
friends, let alone be friends with a guy.

“I haven’t had pizza since I was about five, I

think.”

He looked at her in stunned amazement.

“You’re kidding, right?”

“No,” she said in a barely audible whisper.

“There are a lot of things about me that aren’t . . .
well . . . normal.”

The pizza arrived steaming and dripping with

cheese. The waitress left two plates with napkins,
leaving them alone to enjoy their meal.

Derek put a slice on a plate for Jesse and took

two for himself. He dug in without hesitation barely
stopping long enough to take a breath. Jesse, unsure
of herself, looked at the pizza as a scientist would a
lab experiment. After much scrutiny she picked it
up and took a bite. It was really good and hot. She
swallowed quickly and took a quick sip of her
lemonade.

“Do you like it?” he asked her.
“Yeah, surprisingly,” she said as she gave him a

tentative smile.

“Good. And I don’t like normal, Jesse. I look

forward to learning more about you, but I figure it’s
going to be like pulling teeth.” He laughed.

Jesse was once again taken aback by his

comment of furthering their relationship. How can

she trust him or if she wanted to? She didn’t know
how to respond, so she once again chose silence.
Instead she tried to let it go like Charlotte always
preached.

She’d never seen anyone eat so much pizza. It

was amazing. She knew Jeremy ate a lot, but this
was unreal. She watched Derek eat five slices to
her one.

“You seriously cannot be full after one slice?”

he asked.

“I am, and I’ve never seen anyone eat as much

as you.” She smiled.

He laughed at her as they walked out of the

restaurant to his truck. He opened the door for her
and once she was seated, he set the Styrofoam
leftover box on her lap as he closed her in the
truck.

“Haven’t you ever heard of a growing boy? I’m

always starved, especially if I’ve had practice.”
Derek laughed as he started up the truck.

“Charlotte always complained about how much

Jeremy ate, but I didn’t believe it. I guess it must
have been true, but I never saw him eat like that. I
thought they just talked big,” she laughed.

He glanced at her as he headed back out onto

the main street with a smile on his face. “Which
way to your house?” he asked.

The smile faded from her face. Jesse

considered having Derek drop her off in one of the

more middle-class neighborhoods. She could
pretend to go into one of the houses until he left.
She always had a plan, but it felt so false. If
anything it would just prove her suspicions right if
he turned tail and ran after finding out where she
lived.

“I live in the trailer park.” It was the only one

in the town, so she knew he’d know where to go.
The trailer park was on the outskirts of town about
two miles from the school. It was bordered by the
forest and the turn off was paved in gravel. The
trailer park was fairly large with about fifty trailers
that mostly housed low income families and senior
citizens. There were a myriad of broken-down cars
and various parts littering the front yards. Some
tried to cheer up the drab porches with little potted
plants. Others were dotted with broken toys and old
chairs. The vestiges of people’s lives could be seen
on those porches. The view of the park always
sucked hope out of Jesse and made her wonder if
she would ever get out.

“Mine is the last one on the left,” she said.
He pulled over to stop in front of her trailer.

The trailer was dark, which was a good sign. Her
mother wouldn’t be home, so she wouldn’t question
her about the good-looking boy with the nice truck.

“Thanks for dinner,” she said as she slid the

box from her lap and placed it next to Derek.

“No, you keep that and eat it later. I bet you’ll

be hungry.”

It was easier to take it than to argue with him.

She took the box, her books, and reached for the
door handle to leave.

“Wait,” he said as he grabbed her wrist. “I

want you to know it doesn’t matter to me where
you live because I bet you’re thinking this is the
last you’ll see of me. I promise I will see you
tomorrow at lunch as usual, plus we have another
dinner date, don’t forget,” he grinned.

Part of Jesse believed him, but another part

always doubted. It’s so exhausting being in a
constant tug of war with yourself, she thought as
she got of the truck.

“Yes, I know, but thanks for the reminder,” she

said.

She cringed at the word date as she heard him

pull away. She closed the door to the trailer and
picked up the mail off the table. She saw the red
glaring disconnect notice from the gas company
right on top. Apparently, Sheila had seen it as well
since the mail was in the house. Sheila couldn’t be
bothered with mundane chores, such as paying bills
or getting the mail, unless she was expecting her
monthly check. Sure enough, Jesse found the check
stub from welfare. Figures. She has money, so I
wonder where she went, she thought sarcastically.

The shut-off date for the gas was slated for

next week. If I can get the money to get current on

the bill, I can pay off the rest with my next check.
Hopefully I won’t have to take cold showers again,
like last month. Jesse took the payment envelope
with her as she trudged out of the trailer park.

Chapter 13

Jesse walked the couple miles to the bar in the

quiet of the night, remembering the last time Sheila
had come home from the Oasis bar. Sheila and her
boyfriend had gotten into it badly. By the time Jesse
got home she had found her mother with a black
eye, split lip, and blood all over her bed from a
bloody nose. Jesse knew there was no sense in
calling the police. Sheila would never press charges.
Jesse cleaned her up, making sure nothing was
broken. Never knowing what she would find when
she went home was always a level of anxiety that
Jesse had learned to accept. The bar lights came
into view as she sighed in resignation.

The Oasis was sandwiched between an auto

mechanic and a paint store in a more industrialized
part of town. Since it was on the opposite end of
town, it had taken her about 45 minutes to walk
there. It would take an additional half an hour to
make it to the city hall after hours drop box to
make the payment. Luckily, for her all utilities
could be paid at city hall and at any hour of the day
or night. One of the perks of living in a small town,
she mused. Either way, once again she wasn’t going
to get to bed early tonight.

She could hear the music pumping out of the

bar from the sound system in waves. She went
around to the back entrance and pushed open the
door to a small foyer. The sign on the door
announced in bold red letters that people under the
age of 21 weren’t allowed in, but that didn’t really
matter. She had been here on numerous occasions
to get Sheila, so all the bartenders knew her and
unfortunately some of the patrons. The cigarette
smoke enveloped her in a thick fog as she searched
for Sheila through the haze. She spotted her at the
end of the bar laughing loudly with Roy. She gave a
casual wave to the bartender as she walked by. The
bar was dimly lit with a smattering of tables located
near a small stage. The band was not playing yet,
but it was still fairly early.

The place was starting to fill up with truck

drivers, construction workers, and a handful of
locals. The floor was littered with peanut shells, and
each table was lit by a dim candle in small red mesh
holders. The little candles struggled to give the bar
some sense of ambience, but unfortunately nothing
could hide the seediness. This is Sheila’s kind of
place, she thought.

Jesse stood behind Sheila for a second before

the guy motioned to her with a head nod. It
revolted her to address her as her mom, so she just
waited in silence. Sheila turned and flicked ashes
from her cigarette on the ground at Jesse’s feet as

she looked at her with her hard, black eyes.

“What do you want?” she snarled.
“I need forty dollars for the gas bill.”
“I don’t have it,” Sheila took another drag from

her cigarette.

Jesse was going to have to negotiate to get the

money. She could probably cover this bill for the
next few months if she could just con her this last
time.

“Look, I know you got your check. If you give

me the money this last time I will pay it from now
on. You do like hot showers, right?” she retorted.

The man sitting next to Sheila was listening. He

tilted, almost falling off his barstool as he eyed
Jesse suggestively. It sickened her, but it was
something she was used to. She just had to get the
money and get the hell out of there.

“Hey, I can give you the forty bucks, sweetie,”

the lecherous drunk slurred. “You can come for a
drive with me. I got the money out in my truck.”

Jesse didn’t even acknowledge him and kept

her eyes fixed on Sheila. Sheila started laughing at
the man’s comment but reached for her purse.

“Hank, this one is too much of a snob to go out

with you. But if she were smart, she’d start thinking
about her options.” She dug the money out of her
purse and threw it at Jesse. Jesse took the money
without a word and walked confidently out the
door. She didn’t look back or acknowledge Sheila.

She would never whore herself for money not as
long as she could work. The idea of any man
putting his hands on her made her stomach roll. The
minute she was outside, she stopped to gulp in the
fresh air.

The smell of stale beer and cigarette smoke

lingered in her nose as she made her way down the
street. God, she hated this life. She always felt dirty
no matter how many showers she took. She
wondered what Derek Aames would think if he
knew how she went into bars and was
propositioned by men twice her age. But she
couldn’t worry about that as she made her way to
city hall.

Chapter 14

Jesse woke to steady rain the next day. It

turned out to be a freezing rain that soaked her to
the skin as she walked to school. She hadn’t
thought she would need that winter jacket she’d
vowed to get, but apparently she was wrong. The
weather had been turning toward spring, so she had
opted to forego the jacket and save the money. She
didn’t get to school as early as usual. She was
exhausted from the previous night’s excursion and
had slept in since her mother had not come home.
As she walked on to campus, she saw Derek getting
out of his truck.

Derek was locking up his truck when he

noticed her crossing the parking lot. She wasn’t
sure what was wrong, but a pained expression
crossed his face. She racked her brain trying to
remember if she had said or done something wrong
the previous evening. Before another thought could
cross her mind, he was whipping off his jacket to
wrap around her shoulders as he crossed the short
distance to meet her.

“Ah man, I’m so sorry. Jess, I didn’t even think

to come get you this morning.”

“Why would you?” she asked him.

“Because I just should’ve, okay?” he barked.
“I’m fine Derek, I don’t really need your

jacket,” she said, just as her teeth began to chatter.
She didn’t want people to see her wearing his
letterman jacket. It would just cause all kinds of
talk about them. So far everyone seemed to be
ignoring their lunch meetings, but wearing his
letterman jacket would be a big neon sign that
screamed they were more than just lunch buddies,
even if they weren’t.

“Don’t argue with me because I’m going to

win.” He tucked her arms through the too long
sleeves as he buttoned it to the top. “You’re
freezing,” he said as he cupped his warm hands
around her face.

The rain had plastered her bangs to her

forehead and water dripped into her eyes. She tried
to ease back from his grasp, but his grip was firm
and strong. He brushed the hair from her face and
gently kissed her forehead.

“I’m so sorry. I’ll never let this happen again.”

He wrapped his arm around her shoulders to pull
her under the eaves near her locker. The little
public display of affection would leave no doubt in
anyone’s mind now as to their relationship. Her
breathing became erratic as panic set in, but there
was nothing she could do now, the damage was
already done. She spotted Bryce in the courtyard
and was sure he had seen Derek kiss her.

“You keep this on until you warm up,” he

insisted, trying to rub some warmth into her hands.

Lockers clanged shut as the first bell rang,

signaling kids to start rushing off to class. He kissed
her again on the forehead and took off down the
hall to his first class. She walked in a daze as
emotions and thoughts collided into an incoherent
mess. The last thing she expected this morning was
to be thrust into his jacket and sent off with a kiss.
She walked into first period with all eyes staring as
she wore the star basketball player’s jacket. She
took her usual seat in the back, fervently trying to
ignore the speculative stares. After the class settled,
she was able to relax enough to realize she had
warmed up considerably in Derek’s jacket. She
could smell the clean woods scent of his soap
layered into the jacket. For the first time she wasn’t
concentrating on taking notes.

She remembered the suffering look in Derek’s

eyes. Does he really care about me? Do I really
care about him? The answer was a resounding yes
as she realized how she felt about him. The way
Jesse’s heartbeat danced when he was anywhere
near her rivaled the marching band. She had other
things to ponder too. She saw the way Bryce
looked at her in the parking lot with his soulless
brown eyes. He could make life difficult,
considering he was on the basketball team with
Derek. Apparently, he had not gotten over the fact

that she’d turned him down flat when he came on
to her at the beginning of the school year . . . or the
fact that she had told him he was pond scum. Bryce
was known for using girls to get whatever he could
get and then discussing it in detail. She might be
poor, but she had some self-respect and would
never be caught with anyone like Bryce Atkinson.

Chapter 15

Jesse met with her counselor at the end of 3

period to discuss more financial aid and scholarship
options. It looked promising that she would be
eligible for several scholarships, but it would help if
she could get her grade in math up to that A. If she
could get the majority of the cost of tuition and
books covered, she could work on campus to cover
the rest. Maybe she could even continue to work at
the bookstore at the same time to cover living
expenses. She would really like to keep working at
the store to stay near Charlotte. That would be
possible if she were accepted at the University of
Portland, but part of her wanted to run away and be
free of being Jesse Barnes, the girl who lived in the
trailer park and had a drunk for a mother. She had
applications out to multiple universities. She would
just have to wait and see which one would give her
the best options; maybe that would make the
decision for her.

She was thinking about college when she

walked into 4

period English, still wearing Derek’s

jacket. Missy sat across from Derek and would
shamelessly flirt with him on a daily basis. Jesse
stopped in front of Derek before class to take off

his jacket and give it back.

“Thanks, I’m good now,” she said.
“Are you sure? Maybe you should keep it. You

can return it when I take you to work after school.”

“No, I’m good. I need to get to work right after

school since I have to close the store early for
dinner tonight. I can’t wait until your practice ends,
it will be too late.”

“Well, practice is only going to the end of 6

today, so I can still take you. Just wait for me by
the truck. Okay?”

The bell rang as Jesse hurried to her seat

followed by Missy James’ hateful glares. She knew
Missy had heard the whole conversation and, of
course, had not missed the fact that she’d been
wearing Derek’s jacket.

It was no secret that Missy and Derek had

dated briefly as juniors. They had always been
linked somehow throughout the school years and
had decided to date officially last year. She didn’t
know why the relationship had disintegrated. Jesse
had no interest in either of them at the time, but
being in a small school left no choice but to hear
the drama of everyone else’s business. It all seemed
so juvenile because of what she had to deal with in
her life. She could care less about high school
gossip, but apparently Missy still cared very much
about who Derek might be seeing.

Jesse didn’t consider herself involved with

Derek on a romantic level. At least, that’s what her
head kept saying, but her heart was singing a
different tune. She had been at war with keeping
her emotions solidly locked away her whole life
because letting people in always led to betrayal and
disappointment. Derek was pushing her to the edge
of her emotional limits. He was a variable in her life
that she hadn’t planned on.

Derek had not said anything to her over the last

few weeks except that he wanted to be her friend.
He had succeeded in being the closest thing to a
friend Jesse had at school. Today, maybe his actions
spoke more than his words. Once again, she lost
focus in class going through this internal turmoil,
overanalyzing his actions and intentions. Jesse
always had to know what was going on in other
people’s brains. It was the way she could stay safe.
Enough, she scolded herself and focused back on
the lecture.

The class time was shortened due to the Winter

Sports Assembly. Derek had left earlier since he
was a member of the basketball team. The classes
filed into the gym to blaring rock music and packed
bleachers. The floor was covered in plastic to
prevent damage from rain and street shoes. Missy
stood near the sound system talking to a group of
her dance team friends. Jesse heard her screech the
second she entered the gym.

“Jesse!” Missy waved frantically. “I wanted to

catch you. I saved a seat for you in the front row. I
know Derek would want you to be close to see the
show,” she smiled.

Jesse’s overly developed intuition was giving

her an uneasy feeling in her stomach. Missy was
being nice to her. Something was wrong with this
picture. Her senses went into high alert. The teams
were announced over the garbling loudspeakers to
raucous applause. The athletes marched between
the rows of cheerleaders and their waving
pompoms. Several basketball players, including
Derek, carried girls from the dance team on their
shoulders.

Derek held onto Missy’s legs as he carried her

to the center of the gym. Jesse knew this display
was for her benefit. Derek had made no
commitment to her even though he had kissed her
that morning. She knew she shouldn’t have read
anything into what he did. He’s just a friend,
nothing more, she repeated to the rhythmic beating
of her pounding heart.

At least she knew how to control her

expression. She wouldn’t give Missy the benefit of
a reaction so she kept her face neutral as she
watched the rest of the assembly. The ASB students
introduced the cheerleaders and dance team before
each of their routines. They announced the
upcoming games, asking the student body to come
out and support their favorite sports. Finally, in

closing, they announced they would play one game
of human musical chairs. Jesse had never seen this
game at previous assemblies, but by the way Missy
was pulling on Derek, Jesse knew it couldn’t be
good. It left a sick feeling in her stomach like a
giant marble rolling around. Six boys, including
Derek, were standing in a circle facing out into the
crowd. There were seven girls standing on the
outside of the circle, Missy included. The boys
went down to their knees with one knee bent into a
pseudo chair. The music started and the girls began
circling the boys. The music stopped abruptly and
each girl scrambled to the first available knee. This
game was a crowd-pleaser and everyone erupted in
shouts and cheers as, one by one, the girls and guys
were eliminated. Finally, only Derek was left with
two girls and, of course, Missy was one of them.
The music ended with Missy seated nicely on
Derek’s knee as the victor. They both stood up to
applause as Missy wrapped her arms around
Derek’s neck in an intimate embrace. Then Missy
leaned back and kissed Derek on the mouth to
thunderous applause. She turned to look at Jesse
with a smug grin on her face, her intention evident.
Derek waved to the crowd in response as they
announced the end of the assembly. The crowd
clambered down from the bleachers and engulfed
Jesse. She started to move with the flow of the
crowd when she felt a tug on her arm. She turned

only to come face to face with Missy James.

“I thought you might need a reminder of your

place. You couldn’t seriously think Derek was
interested in you,” she laughed.

The tears pricked at the back of her eyes, but

Jesse refused to let them flow. She would hold it
together no matter what it cost her. “I know who I
am, Missy. But more importantly, I know who you
are,” she replied as she disappeared into the crowd.

Chapter 16

Jesse made it to her locker without shedding a

tear. Her face was flushed with anger as she stood
braced against the cool locker. She didn’t need
Missy to remind her of her place. Escaping to
college could not come fast enough. She didn’t
need any of this added stress. She had bigger
problems than worrying about Derek and Missy. I
just want to be left alone, she thought as she
slammed the door open.

It was then Jesse realized Derek was standing

next to the locker, looking at her with concern in
his eyes. He moved closer to hug her but stopped
when he saw the murderous glare in her eyes. He
took two steps back. Smart boy, she thought.

She wanted to rip him apart for adding

complications to her already chaotic life. “Why did
you kiss me this morning? Do you know the
problems it’s caused me?” she hissed as she threw
books, hitting the back of her locker with a clang.
“Of course not, you have no idea what I have to
deal with,” she said as she whirled away from him
to slam her locker shut. “My only concern is getting
into college and out of this town.” Her voice was an
octave higher with agitation as she looked up at

Derek.

People were giving them furtive, curious

glances as Jesse stormed ahead of him in attempt to
ignore his presence. She was done talking to him.
She just needed to get away.

“Jesse, stop. We need to talk about this

privately,” he said as he looked at the other
students walking by. He took a couple of strides
before he grabbed Jesse’s hand and pulled her
down the hallway to a sheltered corner near the
library.

She was still fuming as he shielded her from

view with his body. She was seething with the need
to get as far away as possible, but he had a death
grip on her arm. He stood there for a moment
apparently formulating his thoughts as he slowly
exhaled. She now understood this was something he
did before he spoke. She had to admire that, at
least.

“I kissed you because I wanted to, and it made

me feel better for leaving you out in the rain.”

She hugged her books closer to her chest as she

considered his response. “That makes no sense to
me. Now everyone is assuming that there is
something going on between us,” she said.

“Jesse, whether you want to admit it or not,

there IS something going on between us. I care
about you a lot. I want to spend every minute of the
day with you while I still have the chance, and I

don’t only want to kiss you on the forehead.”

She stood there looking at him, unable to

process what he had just said. Did he really want
her? What glue bottle had he been sniffing? She
was completely out of her element.

“Derek, do you understand what you’re

saying? Bryce, Missy, ugh,” she exclaimed in the
attempt to voice a coherent thought. How was she
supposed to explain her position in the high school
social hierarchy to him? People like Derek weren’t
supposed to be with people like her.

“What do Bryce and Missy have to do with

anything? Wait, don’t answer that. I don’t give a
damn about them or anyone else for that matter. I
only want you. In fact, I want people to know you
belong with me,” he huffed in frustration. “I know
Missy must have said something to you in the gym.
I’m not going to ask what it was because I know
it’ll seriously piss me off, but I don’t want you to
believe a word she says. I don’t care about her,
only you.” He studied the ground with his hands on
his hips. Jesse had no idea what to think about any
of this conversation. How can I believe him? She
knew her distrust was clearly etched in her face as
he looked at her with sadness.

“You have to believe me, please,” he pleaded.
His words were overwhelming. Could this be

true? Derek Aames wanted her? She didn’t know if
she could handle it. He didn’t know anything about

her. She had kept her family life a secret. He didn’t
know her mother or what she was like. Would he
want a relationship with her once he realized what
he’d be taking on? The doubt spread through her
like a viral infection.

“Derek . . . you don’t know anything about me.

I’m not sure you could understand.”

“Tell me then. You have to know you can trust

me.”

“That’s just it . . . I don’t know if I can.”
He laced his fingers with hers, which somehow

made her want to throw all of her fears aside and
just believe in something or someone for once.
“Jess, I see how you look at me when you don’t
think I’m watching. You’re constantly warring with
yourself. I know you care about me. Why don’t
you just let go and trust me, and yourself?”

She looked at him, willing the emotion out of

her eyes, but she knew it was a losing battle. She
desperately wanted to believe him, but if she did let
go, could she afford the price her heart would pay?
What if he destroyed it? She really only loved
Charlotte and her family and that love had been
nurtured over years. She wasn’t one of those girls
that played with relationships. Everything about her
was serious. She was scared to be with Derek, but
she couldn’t think of life without him now. He had
become her best friend.

She breathed a heavy sigh, “I do like you a lot,

and let me emphasize a lot.” She exhaled with
effort as she pushed on through her fear. “See, even
saying that takes a lot out of me. Can we just take it
slow?” she pleaded.

He pulled her closer until their faces were

inches apart. “Yes, whatever you want. I just want
you to start trusting me,” he said as he gripped her
hand. “I promise I’ll be very careful with you, but
in the spirit of honesty I do want to kiss you in a
bad way. Just so you know,” Derek slid his index
finger down her cheek as a smile curved on his
perfect mouth.

“Boy, you just don’t quit, do you? I think

you’re determined to scare me to death,” she
huffed.

“No, I just want to nudge you along that’s all.

So tell me about these colleges you’re so anxious to
run to.” He grinned as the bell rang.

~ ~ ~

Derek listened as Jesse regaled him with her

long-term

plans.

had

admire

her

determination to get to college, which caused some
of his own worries to be brought to the surface. He
wasn’t sure why he’d told her he wanted to kiss
her. I guess because it’s the truth, he thought. He
didn’t understand why he was reassuring her of his
intentions when he wasn’t sure himself. Yet when
he was around her, all he could think about was just

being with her. Then he remembered how Missy
had used him and left. Would Jesse do the same
thing? Would she learn to trust him and then move
on or will her serious trust issues eventually drive
him crazy? He just didn’t know as he left her at her
classroom door.

Chapter 17

Jesse’s mind was preoccupied with thoughts of

Derek and the new direction of their relationship.
She tried to keep the inevitable what if ’s at bay as
she walked into the gym, lest they spoil her joy. The
basketball team was practicing passing and lay-ups
as she continued to the other end of the gym. She
tilted her head to the side to smile at Derek while
walking to get the attendance from the coach.

She saw that Bryce had noticed her smiling at

Derek. It immediately gave her the chills. He’s just
a creep, she thought. But her intuition told her
something was not right.

Jesse could hear the team coming up behind

her as they continued with their game. She heard
the pounding feet a split second before she felt the
impact. Bryce plowed into her as he tried to
recover a pass. He sent her skidding across the
polished floor head first into the only set of
bleachers that were pulled out. She could hear
someone yelling her name as she lay dazed on the
floor. Derek was beside her in a heartbeat, tenderly
brushing her hair away from a small cut on her
head.

“Jesse, can you hear me?” His voice shook

with panic as he tried to sit her up to examine her
more closely.

Jesse’s head was buzzing, but she was aware

enough to feel the pain and wetness oozing down
her face. She was never good with blood and just
the idea of it had her stomach doing flip flops. She
could feel the bump on her head getting bigger and
the bruise that would be coming up along her
cheekbone.

“Stop shaking me Derek, I don’t feel so great.”
He exhaled loudly, clearly in relief. He shot up

and went after Bryce with a hard shove. “What the
hell were you doing? You saw her there!”

“Hey man, it was an accident. What does it

matter anyway? It’s just trailer park Jesse. I just
took out the garbage,” Bryce smirked.

Derek went after him with his fist raised ready

to strike. The coach got to them in time to prevent
any further bloodshed. Jesse watched as the
basketball coach got in between them immediately.

“Hey, both of you, break it up.” He shoved

both Derek and Bryce apart keeping a hand on both
boy’s chest. “Derek, take Jesse to the nurse’s office
for some ice. She doesn’t look too steady on her
legs. Bryce, why don’t we go to my office and
discuss your vision and what a Saturday detention
might do to improve it,” he said.

Derek looked at Bryce with revenge in his

eyes. “This isn’t over, Bryce. I’ll see you later.”

Derek walked over to Jesse, who had gotten up

enough to slump on the bleachers. He knelt in front
of her, resting his hands on her knees. One of the
trainers had brought her a towel to clean up some
of the blood from her cut. Luckily, it was shallow
and wouldn’t need stitches.

“Hey, how are you doing?” He took the towel

from her to clean up the rest of the blood from her
forehead.

“I’m fine,” she said. All she wanted to do was

get out of the gym. Being the center of attention
was causing her flight reflex to kick into overdrive.
She stood up quickly, which caused the room to
spin. Derek saw her waver and caught her just
before she fell on her face.

“That’s it. Don’t even think about arguing with

me,” he huffed. He scooped her up like a child and
carried her out of the gym to the nurse’s office.

“Put me down. I can walk,” she argued.
“Uh huh, right, that’s why you were about to

do a face plant into the floor.”

Her head was beginning to throb and the

spinning was making her stomach more upset. She
resigned herself and leaned her head back onto his
shoulder. She closed her eyes in the hope the
spinning would soon stop as he crossed the quad.

“See, isn’t that better?” he said.
He took her to the nurse’s office and gently laid

her on the hard vinyl bed. The nurse came in and

stopped short at the sight of Jesse.

“Well, what do we have here?” she said.
“Jesse was taken out by a set of bleachers

when Bryce crashed into her,” Derek replied. “She
hit her head and has a small cut.”

The nurse bent over her to examine the cut and

bruises. Jesse’s ribs were aching as much as her
head, but she didn’t say a word to Derek or the
nurse.

“The bleeding’s stopped, but I’ll get you a band

aid and some ice for that bump. I hate to tell you,
but you’re going to have one heck of a bruise on
your cheek as well.” She patted Jesse’s hand. The
nurse brought back a cold pack to lay on her
forehead.

“You can go back to practice. She won’t be

going anywhere for a couple of minutes,” she said
to Derek. Derek started to protest, but the nurse
raised her hand to silence him.

“Don’t even bother. The coach called here just

now to make sure you come right back. He wants
to have a talk with you.”

Derek leaned down to Jesse and spoke softly

near her closed eyes. “I’ll come back at the end of
the period to take you home.”

Jesse opened her eyes and saw Derek’s

storming hazel eyes. He must still be mad, she
thought.

“Are you going to get in trouble?”

“If I do, it would have been worth it. If only I’d

gotten at least one punch in,” he seethed.

Jesse winced at the seeming wistfulness for

violence in his voice. She’d hated hearing the
yelling in the gym, which had probably contributed
to her upset stomach. Having to live with a volatile
drunk kept her nerves primed for any time angry
emotions erupted. Jesse’s anxiety had drained her
and left her feeling like a used dishrag. She really
wanted to be alone. She was forming a plan to ditch
Derek. It was mean considering how caring he was
being, but she had to get to her responsibilities at
the store. He was hovering enough to give her
claustrophobia.

“Don’t worry about me, I can get to the store.

You probably should put in some extra practice
since you missed most of the period.”

“Don’t argue with me. I’m not going to let you

wander around with a head injury,” he exclaimed.

He held her hand as he got up to leave. He bent

over one last time to pick up the ice pack and kiss
her on the forehead as he smiled into her eyes.
Then he strode out the door, bent on a purpose.
Hopefully, the coach would keep the situation
under control.

She waited five minutes to give him time to get

back to the gym before she got up from the bed.
Lucky for her the nurse had her back to the office
door, gossiping with the principal’s secretary. She

just needed to get away from everyone. She’d been
kissed more in this one day than she had in a
lifetime. Not to mention all the attention and
hovering was seriously messing with her ability to
stay under the radar. She quietly walked out of the
exam room, eased around the counter, and out of
the office. The two women didn’t miss a beat in the
conversation as Jesse silently closed the door
behind her. She went to her locker, grabbed her
books, and made a beeline for the bus stop. She got
there just in time to catch the early bus but sweat
was beading on her forehead from pain and
exertion carrying her books was causing on her
ribs. She sighed heavily as she sat on the bus,
feeling every bump in the road.

Chapter 18

Derek wasn’t sure if he was more angry or

worried that Jesse had left campus without him. He
shoved through the doors of the bookstore only to
stop long enough to ask Florence, the day clerk,
where he could find Jesse.

“She’s in the reference section, but she’s

helping a customer. Why don’t you wait here?
She’ll be done in a few minutes,” she replied to his
retreating back.

The minute he heard reference he took off. He

rounded the corner to the reference seating area
and found her sitting there with a mountain of a
man. He was in his late 50’s, maybe early 60’s, with
the build of a redwood. He dwarfed the table he sat
hunched over with Jesse. He wore the typical
uniform of one of the saw mill workers, jeans and a
flannel shirt. The man was reading a Harry Potter
book in a stunted rhythm that indicated he wasn’t a
good reader.

“That was great, Mr. Jenkins,” Jesse enthused.

“Next time, I want you to try and finish the next
chapter. Write down all the words you don’t know,
and then write a paragraph on what you think is
going to happen to Harry.”

“Girl, you ask a lot of an old man,” he huffed.
“You are not old by any means. If you do all

your work, I’ll make you a deal and read the next
chapter to you.” She grinned.

Derek watched the exchange with confusion.

Why was she giving homework to a grown man?
He was still irritated and confused as he
approached the pair. Mr. Jenkins surged to his feet
when he saw the anger flashing from Derek’s eyes.
Mr. Jenkins stepped in front of Jesse, stopping
Derek dead in his tracks with a menacing stare.

“Is this the basketball player that hit you?” he

asked with ferocity.

Jesse scooted around the hulking mass of Mr.

Jenkins to stand in front of Derek like a shield.

“No, it wasn’t him. He’s the friend that helped

me.”

Mr. Jenkins looked at Derek with uncertainty

and then leveled a warm gaze on Jesse. “Okay. But
if you need anything, you let me know. I’ll see you
next week and I’ll be sure to do my work because I
love hearing you read,” he said. He picked up his
book and strode out with a backward wave.

Derek took a step back when he saw her

murderous glare. “Why do you persist in charging
around like a bull?” she huffed.

“Why are you so stubborn that you can’t just

do what I ask you to do?” he snapped back.

He watched as she took a deep breath, trying to

calm down. “Because I don’t have to answer to
anyone and I know how to take care of myself. I’ve
been doing it for years. Plus, I had a responsibility
to get here, so I left.”

“Why didn’t you just tell me?” he asked.
“Because it’s personal. It’s no one’s business.”
“Yeah, well you’re very personal to me and I

was worried.” Derek stood with his hands in his
jacket pockets trying to reign in his emotions. Jesse
started to straighten the area. He could tell she was
trying to avoid the conversation. Derek started to
calm down now that he could see that Jesse was
okay, but he was still confused as he thought about
the scene with Mr. Jenkins. “What were you doing
with that man?” he asked. She’s hesitating, why? he
thought “Jesse, you can trust me. Please?”

“Can I? Because I feel like I’m violating Mr.

Jenkin’s trust,” she finished as she stood under his
scrutiny. She paused with the internal debate
warring in her gaze. “Fine, you have to swear you
won’t tell anyone. You asked me to trust you. Well,
here is your first test,” she whispered. “I’m
teaching him to read and write. We’ve been
working on it since his wife died last year. She
always did all of the finances and other paperwork.
All he had to do was give her his check. He never
had the time to learn. He always worked hard to
take care of his family first.”

He reached out to hold her face between his

hands as he looked intently into her eyes. “You’re
amazing. I’m so proud of you and don’t worry, I
won’t say anything to anyone about Mr. Jenkins.”

He noticed the blush as it crept into her cheeks

at his reaction. She started to squirm under his
grasp.

Obviously,

compliments

made

her

uncomfortable as she eased out of his grasp and
continued straightening the table and chairs.

“I have another hour of work and then we can

head on over to Charlotte’s, if that’s okay.”

“Okay. I will browse and see if I can stay out of

trouble.” He grinned.

Chapter 19

They headed out at precisely 5:30 to the

Country Estates housing tract. It was located ten
miles north of the city and had been the first
upscale tract to be built about twenty years prior.
The houses and lawns were impeccable. Every year
people upgraded paint, landscaping, or any other
myriad of home improvements to keep their homes
Southern Living quality.

“How did you know to go this way to get to

Charlotte’s?” Jesse asked.

“I know where she lives,” Derek simply

replied.

“How?” she insisted.
He hesitated to tell her because he knew it

would make her defensive and put her trust antenna
on red alert. “Because I live in the same tract, a
few streets over.” He glanced at her from the
corner of his eye to see that she turned to look out
the passenger window. The wall was evidently
firmly in place.

“Hey, what are you thinking about?” he asked.
“I keep wondering how many examples of the

disparity in our social classes you will need before
you forget I exist,” she sighed.

He didn’t want to react to the frustration he

felt. There had been enough drama for one day. He
took a breath before he responded with some
much-needed levity and just plain truth.

“First, what high schooler uses the word

disparity? Second, when are you going to stop
worrying about appearances? Because I don’t care
about what you have or where you live. I like being
with you because you’re smart, beautiful, and have
the biggest heart of anyone I know, when you let
people in.”

Jesse had no response to what he said. It was

funny that the words escaped her. Usually they
were her foundation. She chose to ignore the
compliments and pointed out they were almost to
Charlotte’s house. The minute he pulled in front of
the two-story home she hopped out and headed up
the brick walkway.

The front door opened in a rush and out

bounded Jeremy, Charlotte’s youngest son. He met
her in three quick strides and swung her around like
a rag doll.

“Hey squirt, you finally broke free from that

dungeon my mother calls a bookstore.” He set her
on her feet as his gaze fell on the bruises and cut on
her forehead. The merry blue eyes instantly
changed to blazing hot anger. “What happened to
you?” he asked through clenched teeth.

“An idiot basketball player and a set of

bleachers

decided

face

needed

some

remodeling,” she said. She was amazed at how
quickly Jeremy’s head whipped up and zeroed in on
Derek like a heat-seeking missile. He moved her
back to block her from Derek with his body. He
took one step forward when she grabbed his arm to
stop him.

“It wasn’t him, Jeremy. It was a different

idiot.” She realized what she said and blushed
scarlet. Her words stumbled out as she tried to
explain, “I mean, uh . . . you’re not an idiot,
Derek,” she said from behind Jeremy. “See, now
look what you made me do, you big moron!” she
said to Jeremy.

Jesse smacked Jeremy on the arm as he turned

to give her one of his most convincing smiles.
“Sorry, squirt. Why don’t you properly introduce
me to your friend,” he said.

“Jeremy, this is Derek Aames. Your mom

invited him to dinner tonight.” Jesse announced it
with a tinge of displeasure in her voice.

“Nice to meet you, Derek,” Jeremy extended

his hand for a handshake, but there was something
in his eyes that said he intended to do something
else instead. “Jess, mom is waiting for you to peel
the potatoes. I’ll take Derek out back, okay?” he
said with another easygoing smile.

Jesse once again knew something was up with

Jeremy. He was acting shifty. She had the best radar

on the west coast. “Why are you trying to get rid of
me?” she asked.

“Because we don’t need to have you hanging

around. I’m just going out back. Stop being so
suspicious,” he chided.

“Fine, but no funny business,” she said as she

pointed a finger at his chest.

Jesse took one last look between the guys and

went into the house to get her next dose of
concerned pats. She’d have thought a person had
never gotten a few scrapes before. The minute she
entered the wide, open-design kitchen she felt more
at ease. Charlotte was facing the window slicing
carrots. Music was piping through a little portable
radio that sat on the bay window ledge. The rich
aroma of pot roast wafted through the air like
magic fingers stroking her sense of smell. She went
and stood beside Charlotte to start peeling the
potatoes that were laid out on a paper towel.

“Hey baby, how was school?” Charlotte

stopped short as she looked up at Jesse and saw her
face. “What happened?”

Jesse sighed loudly as she once again ran

through the story. She was peeling the potatoes with
more force than was necessary as she finished the
story, hoping it would be the last time she’d have to
repeat it.

“It’s no big deal. Derek carried me to the

office. I got some ice. Good as new.”

“He carried you! Well I think I might have a

swoon.” Charlotte laughed.

Jesse couldn’t help but crack a smile at

Charlotte’s southern expression. Charlotte could
always pull her out of her melodrama.

“I guess it was a little Gone with the Wind.”

She shrugged. They both looked up as Derek and
Jeremy came into view of the window. They
walked over to the lush trees that lined the
backyard in step with each other.

“What are they doing?” Jesse asked.
“Did Jeremy see you like this?”
“Yeah, so what?”
“Oh, I hope your boy has a strong

constitution.”

“Why, what’s going to happen?” Jesse’s voice

hitched with panic as she tried to get a better look
at them as they moved out of view.

“I suspect Jeremy is giving him a lecture on his

expectations for your welfare.”

Jesse dropped the potato peeler as she started

to bolt for the back door. Charlotte was just fast
enough to snag her arm before she got too far.

“Honey, it’s good for Derek to know you have

people that care about you. Don’t worry about
them. They’re going to probably act like two dogs
trying to pee on the same tree. Guess who the tree
is?” Charlotte chuckled.

~ ~ ~

Jeremy stood facing Derek in the backyard

with his big arms folded across his chest. There was
no easy-going smile now, only a dead set glare on
his well-sculpted face. He was going to find out if
this guy could hold up under pressure.

“This is how things work around here, Derek,”

he said in a flat tone. “If you have any intention of
seeing Jesse after tonight, she will not come home
with any marks on her whatsoever. Even if I’m not
here, I will find out if she’s been hurt and there will
be hell to pay. Are we clear?”

Jeremy appreciated that Derek stood stock still

and kept his gaze fixed directly on his eyes. Okay,
the kid has a spine. At the same time it was obvious
Derek was pissed off. He just hoped it was for the
right reasons.

“First off, you can go screw yourself because

for the second time today, I have been the one who
looked like the bad guy here. If I could have
anticipated this, I would’ve gotten her out of the
way. Secondly, I’ll take care of Bryce the first
opportunity I get, trust me,” Derek said bitterly.

Jeremy studied him as Derek stood with his

hands clenched into fists at his side. Jeremy
relieved the tension in the air by giving him a wide
grin. “Good. I’d hate to think I was leaving her in
the hands of a wuss. She’s very stubborn and
independent. She needs someone who’s strong
enough to put up with her crap. Are you strong

enough for the job?”

“Why don’t you just come out and ask me

what you really want to know,” he asked Jeremy.

“Why don’t you just tell me since you can

apparently read my mind,” he replied.

“I know Jesse’s very special. I’m not here

looking for a good time from her. I’ll take care of
her, I promise you that.”

Jeremy stood silent for moment looking directly

into Derek’s face. The boy speaks the truth, he
could tell. He’d still watch, but he felt comfortable
enough for now.

“Now that we have all that cleared up and I

don’t have to pound you into the ground, let’s go
see if dinner’s ready,” he said as he slapped a beefy
hand on Derek’s shoulder.

They both came through the back door

laughing, discussing some new video game. Jesse
stopped them short with a withering glare. “What
have you been doing out there? You better not have
been talking about me because I am nobody’s tree,”
she yelled.

They both looked at her like she was speaking

another language. Derek was the first to break the
awkward silence. “What are you talking about?”

“Charlotte said you guys were outside acting

like two dogs deciding on who gets to pee on the
tree, and I’m the tree.”

They both broke out in gut-splitting laughter.

Jeremy tried to catch his breath to explain. “We
decided to, um, share the tree. For now,” he said.

Jesse stood there, mouth agape, as the two men

walked past her into the den for some video game
of destruction. Within seconds, the loud crashing of
cars and echoing of guns rang from the room.

“I can’t believe they just said that to me,” she

said.

“Honey, you weren’t supposed to tell them

about my tree analogy. That’s girl talk that you’re
supposed to keep secret.” Charlotte was moving
bustling around the kitchen getting the plates and
utensils out for dinner.

“Well, how am I supposed to know what to

keep a secret? I don’t share secrets with girls. I just
don’t get any of this stuff,” she huffed. Jesse kept
moving about the kitchen checking the boiling
potatoes, sticking them with a fork like a knight
killing a dragon.

Charlotte placed her hands on her shoulders

and pressed the side of her face to Jesse’s.

“I know this is confusing for you, but those

boys care for you. And you know I do too, so just
try and understand.”

Chapter 20

Russ came through the door yelling out his

usual greeting to the troops as he called to his
family.

“Hey, dinner smells great,” he said as he

walked into the kitchen and kissed Charlotte on the
forehead. Jesse watched this interaction with a little
embarrassment. She stopped setting the table,
realizing that Derek had kissed her like that today.
She started setting the table again as her heart
began to race and her palms went damp. It’s a very
intimate gesture, she thought. A real kiss was
powerful, but that simple kiss on the forehead
spoke volumes about the love two people could
share. She moved to the opposite side of the table
with her back to Russ and Charlotte as Russ
brought her back to reality.

“Hey squirt, you’re sure quiet over there. No

greeting for the working dog?”

Russ was a good-natured man with a quip on

every topic. The boys took after his sense of humor
and height. He had light brown hair lined with gray
now, but it just made him look distinguished.

Jesse looked up at him with a slight grin and a

greeting on the tip of her tongue.

“Whoa, what happened to you? Did you get

the number of the bus that hit you?” he asked in
thinly veiled humor.

Jesse huffed out a breath, desperately wanting

to avoid another explanation. “Me, a basketball
player, and a set of bleachers had a disagreement
about right of way. You can guess who lost.” She
finished setting the table and went to the kitchen to
start getting the meal set out. She came back in
hefting the roast. Her head was starting to throb,
and her ribs and back were singing with pain. The
simple exertion from preparing dinner had left her a
little shaky, clammy, and her stomach was churning.
Russ grabbed the roast and set it on the table. He
touched her shoulder gently before she moved back
to the kitchen.

“Squirt, are you feeling okay? Did anyone look

at your head?”

Jesse started to panic. Doctors asked too many

questions and were to be avoided; not to mention
costs and insurance that she doesn’t have.

“I’m fine, Russ, really,” she enthused.
She walked quickly back to the kitchen and

leaned against the sink. She gulped air as she tried
to regain her composure. She couldn’t let anyone
see she was in pain. She was surprised Russ had
spotted something so quickly. She got the potatoes
and plopped a spoon in the bowl. Just as she
walked back into the dining room, Jeremy and

Derek came trailing in behind Charlotte. Russ was
eyeing Derek speculatively as Charlotte finished
with the introductions. Jeremy was already
grabbing his usual seat nearest his dad.

“Don’t worry, Dad, Derek and I had a nice chat

earlier.” He grinned as he heaped potatoes on his
plate.

Russ looked at Jeremy with some male

understanding as he took his seat at the head of the
table. “Good job, son.” He smirked in return.

“So, Derek, how long have you known Jesse?”
Derek looked at Jesse as he cleared his throat.

She was looking at her plate in fixed concentration,
hoping her death by embarrassment would be quick
and painless.

“Well sir, we’ve gone to school together since

the 7

grade, but I’m currently in the process of

getting to know her better,” he said.

Russ seemed to consider the answer and the

intent behind it. “A good friend is always nice to
have,” he said. Russ was never one to rush into
anything. He apparently wasn’t going to openly
endorse Derek as boyfriend material.

Jesse interrupted by offering the potatoes to

Russ in hopes the conversation would turn to
another subject besides her. After the initial
interrogations, Derek seemed to flow into the
routine of a Birch family dinner. Jesse felt Charlotte
watching her throughout the evening, probably

noticing how she hardly touched her meal and
didn’t add much to the conversation. She usually
liked to discuss some book she had finished with
Russ or other little bits of information she might
have come across in her vast readings. But she was
incrementally beginning to hurt everywhere. She
didn’t want it to show, so she got up without a word
and started clearing the dishes. A little space might
help, she thought. Charlotte cornered her in the
kitchen while she was cutting chocolate cake for
dessert.

“Honey pie, is everything okay? You’re looking

peaked.” She brushed Jesse’s hair back from her
face. Charlotte wasn’t good at hiding her level of
concern. Jesse was going to have to put on a show
to keep her from going all mother hen on her.

“I’m fine, Charlotte. Just a little tired from all

the excitement today.” She tried to feign
enthusiasm not sure if Charlotte was buying her
explanation. She carried two plates of cake while
Charlotte got the rest. She gave Jeremy and Derek
theirs just as Charlotte placed a slice at her spot.
The conversation didn’t miss a beat as dessert was
served. The guys dug into their cake with sounds of
ecstasy. Jesse just picked hers apart and pushed it
around the plate.

Charlotte held her fork in midair as she looked

at Derek. “Derek, did you know that Jesse loves
chocolate?” Jesse looked at her like she’d just gave

away one of her most intimate secrets. “Honey,
don’t get all distraught. It’s not a crime for a boy to
know you like chocolate.”

“I know she likes chocolate,” Jeremy piped up

between forkfuls of cake. “I usually bribe her with
it to help me with my English Lit homework.”

Jesse could only muster a sneer for Jeremy. Her

head was pounding double time like a platoon of
soldiers. She couldn’t even touch her beloved
chocolate cake. Charlotte continued to eye her
while she spoke to Derek. “Derek, are your
parents’ home this evening?”

Jesse looked up to catch Derek looking in her

direction as he started to push back from the table.
She couldn’t make out the look on his face. Was
that panic? Concern? She turned her gaze toward
Charlotte just in time to see her give Derek a look
that made him stop in his tracks. She wondered
what was going on.

“Yeah, both of my parents are home tonight.

Dad doesn’t do a night at the E.R. till next week,”
he replied.

“Well that’s nice. Hopefully they didn’t miss

you too much at dinner tonight. Jesse, why don’t
you and I go look at the outfit I found for you while
the men clear the dishes?” Charlotte got up and
nudged Jesse out of her chair down the hallway to
Andrew’s old room that doubled as Jesse’s when
she stayed.

Derek watched until they disappeared down

the hallway, he instantly dug out his cell phone to
call his dad. “I’ll call my dad from the kitchen just
in case they come back.” He headed through the
swinging door.

Jeremy followed Derek to the kitchen to see

what was going on between Derek and his mother.
Evidently, there was some silent communication he
had missed. He got there just in time to hear Derek
on the phone. “Dad, can you get over to the Birch’s
right away? Jesse was hit at school and she doesn’t
look so good. I’ll give you the full story when you
get here. Great. See you in five.” Derek hung up
the phone and turned to look at Jeremy with worry
in his eyes. “Which room did your mother take
Jesse to?” he asked.

Jeremy set the dishes in the sink, grabbing the

towel adjacent to wipe his hands. Derek stood
waiting for his reply, not sure if it was exasperation
or sympathy that crossed Jeremy’s face.

“Why don’t we wait till your dad gets here,

because Jesse is going to be pissed off enough when
she finds out you called him. Let mom talk to her
first, and hopefully that will ease her wrath,”
Jeremy replied.

“I don’t get it. Why would she be mad? She’s

hurt and needs medical attention,” Derek barked.

Jeremy let out a half laugh as he started rinsing

the dishes. “You just don’t get it, do you? Jess

doesn’t want help even if she does need it. You
have to make her think it was her idea. You have to
use logic, reasoning, rational thought, whatever you
want to call it with her. Sometimes I think she is a
Vulcan right out of Star Trek,” he said.

Five minutes later, there was a knock at the

front door. Russ was ushering in Dr. Curtis Aames
as Jeremy and Derek came out of the kitchen. Well,
she’s getting help whether she wants it or not,
Derek thought.

Chapter 21

Jesse stood in the room with her back to the

door facing Charlotte, her arms crossed over her
chest. The pain was becoming unbearable, and she
didn’t know how much longer she could keep up
the charade.

“Honey,” Charlotte said gently, “I know you’re

hurting and I know you’re going to be mad, but I
had Derek call his father.”

“What!” She started shaking her head back and

forth. Jesse’s flight mechanism was kicking into
high gear. She started backing out of the room until
Charlotte caught her by the arms.

Charlotte looked at her pleadingly as she

rushed to explain. “Listen to me, Jesse. I need to
make sure you’re not hurt more seriously. You
might have internal injuries. I knew you wouldn’t
go to a doctor, so I brought a doctor to you. You
know I would never hurt you. He will only ask the
necessary questions and he is Derek’s father that’s
got to count for something. Plus, it’s a nice
advantage of living in a small town with good
people.”

Charlotte was rubbing Jesse’s arms up and

down, trying to soothe her. Jesse couldn’t stop the

tears. The pain was so bad and the night’s charade
had left her at the point of sheer exhaustion. She
resigned herself that the examination was going to
happen.

“All right, I understand. But you will stay with

me the whole time, right?” she asked.

“You bet, baby doll. I know it’s more than just

your head that’s hurt. The way you’ve been
favoring your side is a tell-tale sign.” Charlotte
uncrossed Jesse’s arms gently and reached for the
bottom of her shirt to help her out of it. “Now, we
have to get this shirt off you so we can see the
damage.”

Jesse tried to raise her arms to pull the shirt

over her head, but a sharp pain stabbed through her
ribs, making her cry out.

“Okay, honey, hold on a sec. I’m going to take

it off you the way I used to undress Jeremy when
he was a little guy.” Charlotte smiled as she
carefully removed Jesse’s shirt by easing her arms
out and then pulling the shirt over her head.

Jesse had a thin tank top on under her shirt

which was transparent enough to show the extent
of her bruising. There were deep black and blue
bruises from her shoulder blade trailing down under
her shirt. Dr. Aames stood in the doorway watching
the whole scene. He knocked lightly and entered
with his kind, smiling hazel eyes.

The first thought that entered Jesse’s mind was

that Doctor Aames was an older version of Derek.
He had the same sandy blonde hair, same build, and
Derek’s eyes. He kept his voice quiet as he spoke
to her.

“Hi Jesse, I’m Curtis Aames. Derek said you

took a pretty hard tumble today.” He moved to the
same side of the bed that Charlotte stood by,
placing his black bag on the bed. “I can already see
that you have some good bruises on your shoulder.
Would you let me examine the rest of you? I can’t
promise I won’t hurt you, but I will sure try not to.
What do you say?”

Jesse looked at Charlotte, tears still shimmering

in her eyes. She looked back at Dr. Aames to study
him for a moment taking a deep breath. “Sure,
okay,” she sighed.

“Okay, Jesse, can you tell me where you have

the most pain?” Doctor Aames continued.

“On my ribs, I guess.”
Dr. Aames gently moved her shirt up to just

below her breasts. The bruising was the same deep
shades of black and blue as her shoulder. His hands
were warm and smooth as he worked slowly,
checking for fractures. He started at her hips
moving upward until he reached her rib cage.

Jesse heard Derek’s shocked gasp from behind

her. She wasn’t sure when he had come into the
room, but shame washed over her standing so
exposed. Jesse always felt that she was to blame for

all of life’s mishaps. Years of being told she was the
cause of every bad thing had become the default
setting in her mind.

Dr. Aames applied some gentle pressure to

Jesse’s ribs causing her to cry out, breaking her out
of her self-recrimination. It was one more shock to
feel Derek grab her in a protective embrace away
from his father.

“Dad, stop, that’s enough,” he exclaimed.
“Derek, I have to check for fractures and

internal injuries, and she may need x-rays. I don’t
want to take her down to the hospital if it’s not
necessary.” Dr. Aames glanced at Jesse as he tried
to make her understand the process.

“I’m sorry that I hurt you Jesse, but the good

news is there doesn’t seem to be any fractures.
Your eyes look pretty clear and Derek said you
didn’t lose consciousness. Do you feel nauseated?”

“Just a little, nothing too bad,” she said.
Derek still had a firm grip on her as he held her

pressed against his chest. Dr. Aames looked directly
at Derek as he pulled Jesse slowly away from him.

“Derek, I need to check the cut on her head

and check her neck for any additional injuries. I
think she has a mild concussion,” he said. Jesse sat
on the bed as he continued his examination by
twisting her head right, then left, but there was no
additional pain.

“Okay, I’m finished. I think you just need to

rest and ice those ribs. I’ll leave you some mild
painkillers so you can sleep tonight. If you could
ice your ribs every few hours tomorrow that would
help. I wish you could do it now, but you need to
sleep.”

Jesse’s eyes tracked Jeremy the minute he

stood in the doorway watching the scene in silence.
He walked in and stood near the doctor, never
taking his eyes off Jesse. “I’ll ice the ribs for her
tonight, Doc. I’m used to having to clean up after
the squirt. Jess, why don’t you go change your
clothes? I’ll put in that Pride & Prejudice movie
you constantly make me watch. Take the medicine,
okay? For me?” he asked quietly. Jesse knew there
was no point in arguing with Jeremy when he used
that quiet tone.

Doctor Aames handed Jesse a bottle of pills.

She was exhausted and every part of her seemed to
hurt including her pride. She shakily got to her feet,
walked to the adjoining bathroom, and closed the
door without a word.

Chapter 22

Charlotte looked to Jeremy with a thank you in

her eyes. “Jesse hates taking pills,” she explained to
Derek. “She won’t even take something as simple
as aspirin for a headache, but she’ll do it for
Jeremy. It’s been very difficult for her, but she has
become comfortable here. She has clothes, books,
space—everything she needs. This has become her
home away from home on occasion,” she finished.

Charlotte didn’t want to reveal too much. She

just wanted them to understand how difficult it was
for Jesse to trust people. “Derek, go to the kitchen
and get some crushed ice out of the freezer for
Jesse’s ribs while Jeremy gets things set up in here.
I’ll talk to your father in the kitchen and offer him
some cake and coffee.”

~ ~ ~

Derek left Charlotte with his Dad in the kitchen

as he made his way back to the room with the ice.
He found Jeremy propped up on some pillows with
Jesse lying on her side with her head on Jeremy’s
shoulder. He had his arm wrapped gently around
her while holding the television remote in the other
hand. The drugs were beginning to kick in and

Jesse’s eyes were closed, on her way to sleep.
Jeremy motioned for Derek to be quiet by placing
his index finger to his lips. He waved him over to
the other side of the bed and reached for the towel
that held the bag of ice.

“Jesse, I’m going to put the ice on you now. It’s

going to be cold. Okay, Squirt?” She mumbled in
assent, never opening her eyes. When he placed the
ice on her she sucked in her breath quickly, then
snuggled closer to Jeremy.

“Jer?” she slurred.
“Yeah? I’m right here,” he said.
“Is my movie still on?”
“Yep, Elizabeth just tongue-lashed Mr. Darcy

at the dance.” He laughed.

“That’s my favorite part.”
“I know. You always tell me. I’m starting to

think you have a mean streak. What about poor Mr.
Darcy?”

“Don’t leave me Jer, I don’t feel so good. I had

a bad dream that Derek left me in the woods in the
dark because he figured out what I was,” she
mumbled.

“What are you, Jess?” Jeremy’s voiced was

tinged with sadness.

“White trailer trash. That’s what those people

like him think. I know, he’ll figure it out soon, and
then he’ll leave. Why is he here? I don’t want to
get hurt.”

“Jesse, you are not trash. You’re smart and

pretty and ten times better than any of those stupid
people at school. If Derek doesn’t see that then
he’s an idiot and doesn’t deserve you,” Jeremy said
while looking at Derek, who was standing perfectly
still during the conversation. Jeremy continued to
soothe her so she would rest. “Go to sleep now,
Jess. I’ll be here all night to take care of you, like
always.”

“K, I’m tired. Pain’s going away finally.” She

slurred out the final part.

“Okay Derek, I think she’s out now. She can’t

hold her drugs. Usually when she tells me her
thoughts I know she’s just about gone. That’s when
I get the most information out of her. She’s getting
cold from this ice. I need to get her under the
covers. Do you think you can lift her while I throw
the covers back?” he asked.

“Yeah, I can.” He slid one arm under her

knees, his other around her back and gently lifted
her. She hung like a rag doll in his arms, her head
laid against his shoulder as her arms hung limp.
Jeremy threw back the blankets and looked up at
Derek waiting for him to put her back onto the bed.
Derek stood, not sure what to do. It hurt him to
know that Jesse put him in the same category as a
Bryce or a Missy and that she expected him to hurt
her. Yet he had been having his own doubts. He
really didn’t want her suspicions to become a

reality.

“Okay man, you can put her down now before

she wakes up,” Jeremy said.

Derek gently placed her back on her side so she

ended up back on Jeremy’s shoulder and put the ice
back on her ribs. Derek stood there for a moment
longer and brushed her hair back from her face.

“Take good care of her, okay?”
Jeremy looked at him like he was out of his

mind. “Pal, right now my record is a lot better than
yours. Turn off the lights on your way out please.
And I was serious about what I said: you don’t
deserve her if you don’t see all of her.”

Chapter 23

The next morning Jesse left Jeremy sleeping,

the remote still in his hand. She knew he had been
up most of the night icing her ribs. She still looked
as if she had been hit by a bus, but most of the pain
had faded and there was just a little stiffness left.
She showered and found a pair of dark blue Capri
pants with a matching V-neck top. Charlotte had
gone all out and bought her a pair of white gladiator
sandals to match. She wasn’t surprised to find the
outfit because Charlotte had done this in the past,
but it was so hard accepting anything. She couldn’t
explain her feeling of unworthiness coupled with
the need to pay her back. Today she would wear
the outfit with gratitude and just enjoy having
something new. She would ignore her feelings of
guilt for once. She put her hair up in a simple clip
because she knew she had a lot of reorganizing at
the store to do today. Charlotte was already up; she
could tell by the smell of coffee wafting through the
house. Jesse found her at the table in the middle of
her morning breakfast ritual of reading the paper.
An actual print copy, Jesse mused.

“Hey honey, how do you feel?” Charlotte

asked as she folded her paper.

“I feel a lot better, just a little sore. Thank you

for the outfit. It’s very cute.”

“I’m glad you liked it. I saw it in the store and

thought it was perfect for you. Don’t even think
about arguing either, it’s a blessing for me to be
able to spoil my girl.” And that was the end of the
conversation. Jesse knew better than to say
anything further no matter how much it bothered
her. Jesse went over to the cabinet that held the
cereal to pour herself a bowl. She had finally gotten
used to the fact that Charlotte stocked food for her
when she stayed over. She tried not to stay too
often, but Charlotte always roped her in at least one
weekend a month, or more if Jeremy was home.
Her mother never asked where she was the times
she stayed at Charlotte’s. All Sheila ever worried
about was the money Jesse brought home. That was
fine with her. She didn’t want her to interfere in her
life any more than was necessary. She had excluded
her mother from all aspects of her life in order to
protect Charlotte and her future.

Sheila had threatened to make trouble for

Charlotte once she realized she was important to
Jesse. It was a way to ensure that Jesse was in her
control. After that Jesse had made sure she kept her
relationships quiet, and not mention anything that
had to do with school. She had become quite
proficient at signing her mother’s signature on all
the school paperwork, so Sheila wouldn’t ruin the

future Jesse had planned for herself. If Sheila didn’t
see any financial aid or scholarship applications,
she couldn’t try something to keep Jesse home and
get the money. Fear was always a motivating factor
in Jesse’s life that she wished would just go away.

She was halfway through her breakfast when a

bleary-eyed Jeremy stumbled into the kitchen,
begging for coffee. He made a humming sound of
joy at that first hit of caffeine. He continued to
fumble as he made a bagel with cream cheese. On
the way to the fridge, he absently ran his hand over
his head. Jesse knew he wouldn’t embarrass her by
asking questions about her drug-induced ramblings,
and she wouldn’t say anything about him taking
care of her all night. It was an unspoken agreement
that left both parties perfectly satisfied.

She watched him lavishly spread cream cheese

on his bagel, knowing how much he’d enjoy that
first bite.

“When are we leaving for the store?” he asked

Jesse.

“She is not going to the store today,” Charlotte

spouted from behind the paper.

“Charlotte, I feel perfectly fine. We have to

move those shelves around and put out the new
stock. And I’m letting Jeremy come help, so I
should be given points for my compromise. You
know how much help he can be,” she said with a
smirk.

“Ha ha. You know, I could go back to bed,” he

said as he turned from Jesse to his mother. “You
might as well not argue with her, Mom. You know
how she is and she already has a solution for your
argument. She’s using me as her slave to do the
heavy lifting,” he said as he finished up his bagel.
Jeremy took his coffee with him as he headed to
the shower that started up a few minutes later.

Charlotte let out a sigh as she placed the paper

down and looked Jesse squarely in the eye. “You
have to promise not to overdo it. And I want you to
eat and rest on the couch at lunch. That is my final
answer and no negotiating or Jeremy will throw you
right back under that bus that hit you, deal?”

Jesse knew there was no winning when

Charlotte used that tone of voice. Charlotte was
being a good sport, there was no need to push her
luck. “Deal,” she said.

She took her bowl to the sink, rinsed it, and put

it in the dishwasher just as the phone rang.
Charlotte was probably the only person who kept a
land line because she had had it before cell phones
and wasn’t about to get rid of it now. Jeremy was
walking out with his hair still damp from the shower
as he grabbed the phone that hung on the wall.

“Hello? Oh hi, Derek. Why don’t you ask her

yourself?” he said as he handed Jesse the phone.

Jesse looked at the phone for a moment in

confusion before she took it from Jeremy.

Apparently, Charlotte had given him this number
since she didn’t have a phone.

“Hello? Yeah, I feel great. I’m just on my way

out to the store. No, it’s okay, Jeremy is going with
me. No, you don’t have to bring me lunch,” she
said.

Jeremy clued in on the word lunch and yelled

out his order. “Yes he does, and he can bring me a
hoagie with everything on it with chips.”

She frantically waved at him to be quiet.

“Don’t listen to him, Derek. He’s one big stomach
with feet that he can use to get his own lunch. I’m
not arguing, I just think it’s unnecessary when I can
feed myself and not interrupt your day.” She waited
a moment as Derek responded to her rational train
of thought.

“Fine. Okay. You win. I’ll see you later.” She

hung up the phone with a snap, crossing her arms
over her chest while glaring at no one in particular.

“He’s impossible to deal with and totally

unreasonable.”

“Totally,” Jeremy said with a grin as he grabbed

his car keys.

Chapter 24

The mall wasn’t very crowded yet since most

of the stores didn’t open until 10am. She and
Jeremy would be the only ones working in the store
today; the other clerk only worked during the
week. Business was pretty slow most of the day.
They had the occasional browser, but that was the
extent of the customer traffic. They started
rearranging some shelves to complement each other
and then unloaded stock until lunch time. Jesse was
coaching Jeremy through Shakespeare’s Tempest.
He had to write a paper and had no clue what the
play was about.

“Hey Jess, before I forget, I made another CD

for you. I think I got some stuff you’ll like and I
threw in some new music. It’s too bad mom only
keeps this old CD player here instead of streaming
music. Anyway, I know how you like music when
you close the shop,” Jeremy said with a grin.

“Thanks, I’m grateful you make me CDs so I

can at least listen here at the store.”

The front door opened with a whoosh as

someone walked in with paper bags crackling. Jesse
walked up to the front to see if it was a customer.
She found Derek walking down the aisle with a bag

of sandwiches, balancing three drinks in a
cardboard carrier. He looked up from concentrating
on not spilling the drinks as his gaze caught sight of
Jesse. He stopped as a huge grin spread all the way
to his eyes.

She knew she was blushing, but she couldn’t

help it. He made her feel so self-conscious, as if she
were the only girl in the world.

“Here, let me take those before you spill them

everywhere,” she said. She lifted the cups away
from his hand, slightly brushing his fingers. An
electric shock ran up her arm as she looked up at
him. Does he feel that too? Maybe it’s static from
the carpet, she tried to think rationally.

He brushed his hand down her cheek, lightly

running his fingertips over the bruises. “You still
look like you got hit by a truck. But you look
rested,” he said.

“Thanks. I think.”
She turned to walk back down the aisle to a

little sitting area Charlotte had in the middle of the
store. There were several big cushioned red and
gold chairs artfully arranged, and a warm, burnt-
orange loveseat next to a large cherrywood coffee
table. There were several shaded lamps placed on
end tables in the corners which gave the area the
feel of a comfortable living room where you could
relax and read a book. Jeremy plopped down in one
of the chairs and dug into the bag. Jesse sat on the

loveseat as Derek came over to sit next to her.

“Jeremy, you could have some manners and

say ‘thank you,’” she admonished.

“Sorry, Mom Junior. Thanks for the grub,

Derek. The slave driver was working me into the
ground here. Speaking of slave-driving, we are
leaving on time, right?”

“You can leave when you want. I have some

stock orders to place and other paperwork to do
first,” she said.

“How are you going to get home?” Jeremy

paused. “It is Saturday night.” He left off
cryptically. Jesse knew Jeremy wouldn’t divulge
anything that would embarrass her. Along with
Charlotte, Jeremy understood about Sheila’s
drinking. She knew he was only concerned.

“Don’t worry, I’ll make it on time. It’ll be okay

as long as I get there within my window of
opportunity. Plus, I need to take care of some stuff
there, you know.” She knew Jeremy would
understand. It was time to pay Sheila again and if
she was late with the money, there would be hell to
pay.

Jesse glanced out of the corner of her eye

watching Derek to see if he’d clued in to the
subtext of the conversation. He appeared to not be
confused as he took a drink of his soda. Derek
surprised her once again while Jeremy was finishing
his lunch.

“I can take Jesse home tonight. I have to finish

up some stuff over at my dad’s office, but I should
be done there about the same time,” he said to
Jeremy.

“Cool, then it’s settled. Derek will take you

home and if you have any problems, call my cell
and I will come and get you. The neighbor still lets
you use her phone, right?”

“Yes she does, and don’t think about arguing

about phones again. You know how I feel on that
subject.” Jesse’s tone indicated there would be no
further discussion.

“Yeah I do.” Jeremy balled up his trash while

slurping down the rest of his soda. He started
eyeing Jesse’s food.

“Are you going to eat the rest of that?” he

asked.

“Yes. You can be such a glutton,” she laughed.

“I think everything will be fine, but I’ll come by
tomorrow to say good-bye to you before you head
back to school.”

“Okay, sounds good. I need to run an errand, so

no heavy lifting while I’m gone. I’ll be back in a
half hour, maybe forty-five minutes,” Jeremy said.

“No worries, I won’t let her do anything till

you get back,” Derek assured him. Jeremy gave her
a quick pat on the head as he left.

“Sometimes he can be such a pain,” as she

finished her lunch. Jesse furiously tried to think of

an excuse for Derek not to have to take her home
on a Saturday night. It was like playing Russian
roulette and she didn’t want him anywhere near the
line of fire if Sheila decided to go off.

“You don’t have to take me home tonight. I’m

not sure how long I will be here. Plus, I wouldn’t
want you to miss out on hanging with your friends
or whatever it is you do on the weekend.” She
knew she was being rude after everything that he
had done for her, but she was scared. What if he
really meant it when he said he wanted to kiss me?
What if he really does like me? Worst of all, what
will I do when he breaks my heart, not if – when?
To be involved with Derek Aames could not
possibly have any positives. She had to try to
maintain her focus so she could get to college. Six
more months. Except all thought of college kept
being blown away like a desert wind the minute he
looked at her.

He sat silently finishing his lunch. It was

becoming an annoying habit that was grating on her
last nerve. She couldn’t fathom what he was
thinking while she waited for him to respond. He
took one last drink before he turned to face her.

“You’re not going to get rid of me that easily.”
She started to protest again to convince him

that she had a lot of work. She didn’t want to ruin
his weekend by making him feel obligated to give
her a ride. He silenced her before she could even

get a breath out by putting his index finger on her
lips.

“Let me finish before you start giving me your

rational explanations. I have an ulterior motive for
taking you home. I want to ask you out on an
official first date,” he said.

That stopped her right in her tracks. She hadn’t

expected that curve ball and didn’t know what to
do. The constant uncertainty was wearing thin.

Derek would definitely take her silence as not a

good sign. She didn’t want to always be second
guessing her every move or second guessing his
motives. He must’ve known she needed a push as
he made his pitch. “I thought maybe we could go
see a movie and then go for a walk by the lake
afterward. The Surf is playing The Shining. I
thought it would be fun to see a classic.”

There were only two theaters in town which

meant there would be a good chance someone
would see them together. That was another
problem. Jesse knew people saw them at school
together, but out in public would definitely make
people talk. She didn’t want people talking about
her in any way. She looked up into his expectant
hazel eyes, ready to decline, only to cave instantly.

“Is that the movie that was based on the

Stephen King book?” she asked.

He started to laugh and shake his head in

amusement. “Yeah, it is. It figures you would know

it was from a book. So I guess that means you’ll go
out with me?”

“Yeah . . . I guess so,” she replied with a small

smile.

“Great. It’ll be fun. Trust me, okay?” He

started to get up to collect the remnants of their
lunch. “Before I forget, do you have a curfew?”

She looked at him once again and smirked.

“No, I don’t have a curfew,” she replied.

“Okay, I’ll pick you up around 6.” He started

heading to the door to dump the trash under the
counter, Jesse walked close behind. She stood next
to the locked door, waiting to let him out. He
grinned down at her as he ran his finger down her
cheek.

“See ya tonight,” he said.

Chapter 25

Jesse and Jeremy finished the reorganization

plus the restocking of the shelves in time to close
the store at 5pm. Jeremy took off right away after
giving her a reminder to call him if she needed a
ride. She loved Jeremy, but she was happy to have
the store to herself. She was about to lock the door
behind him when the phone rang. She answered the
call of a regular customer to place a special order,
locking the door long forgotten. She put in Jeremy’s
CD, anxious to hear the music that would instantly
envelop her. She sat in the office to finish up the
paperwork while singing to the CD. She finished
quicker than she expected, which gave her time to
do some additional cleaning up around the store
before Derek arrived. The music was blaring
through the store as she headed down the aisles.
Once in a while she would belt out the words or
dance around the store without inhibition. She
couldn’t really dance because her ribs still ached
quite a bit, so she swayed and sang along with the
latest hit song while she straightened books or
dusted shelves. She was lost in her own world not
realizing that Derek would be arriving soon.

The closed sign was posted, but the door was

unlocked. Derek pushed open the door and was
slammed by the decibel of the music rocking the
store. There was no way Jesse would hear him
calling her. He started going up and down the aisles
looking for her. He was on the last aisle when he
spotted her moving to the music with a dust rag. He
stopped just to watch her. She moved freely, lost in
her own world. He had never seen her so open, and
she was breathtaking. Her mink hair was falling
from its clip and her voice rose strong and clear.
The song ended and another one began. She still
hadn’t seen him as the first strains of a slow love
song started to play. He heard her say, “I love this
song,” and inspiration struck. He walked over to
her. Trying his best not to scare her, he touched her
on the shoulder, but she still whipped around in
fear.

“Ahhh! Derek, you scared me,” she screamed

as she clutched the rag to her chest.

“I’m sorry, I tried not to, but you couldn’t hear

me over the music. Speaking of, would you like to
dance?”

Before she could protest he clasped her hand

and took the dust rag to drop it on the nearest shelf.
He pulled her close, placing her other hand on his
shoulder as he wrapped his arm around her waist.
He started to circle her around as he hummed softly
against her ear. He let go of her hand to wrap his
other arm around her to pull her even closer, so

there was no space between them. What is
happening? she thought.

She was in shock. Derek had ambushed her

into a dance. He didn’t give her chance to even
come up with a logical protest. He’d just swept her
into this romantic scene without hesitation. Would
she ever stop being amazed by him? The stiffness in
her body began to melt away as he led her
confidently to the center of the aisle. She did love
this song and his voice was soft and comforting.
She laid her head against his shoulder, while her
hand relaxed against his heart, which was beating in
time to the music. As the song ended, she tried to
move away from him but he held fast to her a
moment longer. He laid his forehead on hers and
whispered, “Thanks for the dance.”

She pulled away to look up at him. “You’re

welcome.” She smiled.

She quickly locked up the store so they could

make it in time for the previews. Derek headed to
the smaller of the two theaters in town. The main
theater was located in the mall, but The Surf was in
the older part of downtown. It was toward the end
of a block that housed older brick buildings with big
plate glass windows. The theater was a classic
design on the outside, its dual marquees lighted by
two rows of bulbs that surrounded the sign. The
glass-enclosed ticket booths housed two sellers.
Derek and Jesse walked up to the ticket window

with Derek firmly gripping her hand. He paid for
the tickets, which made her very uncomfortable.
She started to pull away as he pinned her with those
blazing hazel eyes.

“Don’t worry about it. Remember I can read

your mind, and you’re stressing over nothing. The
guy is supposed to pay, it makes us feel big and
manly,” he smiled. She inhaled as she nodded in
understanding it still was so hard to accept. Is this
ever going to get easier? she thought.

The inside of the theater was more modern and

flashy. The latest movie posters hung along both
sides of the lobby with small, intimate seating areas
situated underneath every few posters. The
concession stand was one long glass counter top
with several enclosed candy display cases. The
three popcorn machines were all spewing fresh
popcorn at an alarming rate as the employees tried
to keep up with the long lines. The buttery smell
immediately embraced them when they walked into
the lobby. The memory of being at the movies was
vague and distant. Jesse was sure she must have
been because she knew what to expect of a theater,
but she couldn’t remember ever eating popcorn and
sitting in front of a widescreen. It was tucked
somewhere in the back of her mind when her
mother had been kind and loving.

She knew she had a deer in the headlights look,

which probably told Derek everything. She had no

idea what to do in a movie theater any more than
she had when he’d taken her to the pizza parlor. He
bought one large popcorn with extra butter and a
Coke for him and lemonade for her.

“How did you know I wanted lemonade?” she

asked.

“Because you told me you didn’t really drink

soda.”

“Wow, I can’t believe you remembered.”
He touched her shoulder as he looked into her

eyes to ensure he had her full attention. “I listen to
everything you say,” he smiled. He grabbed napkins
as he headed to one of the last theaters. They
walked inside a partially empty theater with mostly
older couples. Jesse turned in awe gazing at the
wide screen with the dark velvet curtains. Derek
led her to the middle of one of the top rows. He sat
down in the plush velvet seats, turning his knowing
gaze in her direction.

“Come sit down, Jesse. Trust me.”
She put her drink in the cup holder, wiping her

damp palms on her pants. Derek munched on his
popcorn while Jesse sat perfectly still unsure of
what to do. Why can’t I be relaxed like him? Her
tension was palatable as she shifted in her seat.

“Relax Jess, it’s just like lunch. I assume

you’ve read the book?” he asked.

“Actually no, I haven’t, but I have read some

of his work. He tells a great scary story.”

“Have you ever seen any of the other Stephen

King movies?” he asked.

She shook her head no. “Why?”
“Uh, are you okay with scary movies? I

should’ve asked you first. I’m sorry.”

“I’m pretty tough, I can handle it. I mean, it’s

just a movie,” she replied.

The theater lights dimmed as the sound blasted

through the speakers. It startled her enough that she
grabbed Derek’s arm. She looked over at him
apologetically. “Sorry, I wasn’t ready for that.”

“Anytime.” He smiled.
She could feel him glancing at her out of the

corner of his eye as the scary music escalated and
Jack Nicholson became more insane. She sat with
her hands folded in her lap and her back ramrod
straight. There was a particularly graphic scene
with a dead woman that finally did her in. Jesse felt
her face contort in disgust as she gripped her hands
together to keep them from covering her eyes.
Derek lifted the chair arm between them to turn the
seats into a loveseat. He simply pulled her over
next to him, wrapping his arm around her shoulder.
She turned her head into his neck and murmured,
“Tell me when it’s over.”

“Okay. You can look now, it’s gone,” he

whispered into her hair. She kept her head on his
shoulder while she stayed curled next to his side for
the rest of the movie. As the lights came up, she sat

up to look at him with a gleam in her eye. “That
guy was insane, but I really liked it,” she exclaimed
with a wide smile. For once, Jesse shut out the
voice in her head and just enjoyed being a regular
girl out on her first date.

“I could tell.” Sarcasm dripped from his voice

as a smile played around his perfect lips. “But I’ll
be honest, I liked it too,” he added playfully as he
straightened a tangled hair near Jesse’s ear. “It had
a lot of benefits for me.”

She gave him a slight shove to his shoulder as

she got up with her trash. They walked out into the
lobby with his arm slung around her shoulders,
discussing the finer points of horror films when
Jesse’s own horror became a reality. Jesse had her
guard down just enjoying being with Derek when
she spotted Missy and Bryce coming in their
direction from the concession counter. Jesse
stiffened under Derek’s arm, stopping short before
Missy plowed into her.

“Wow Derek, funny seeing you here,” Missy

oozed, while keeping her eyes fixed on Jesse. Jesse
couldn’t bear the scrutiny as she tried to move
away from Derek. She lowered her eyes, feeling the
shame wash over her, knowing Missy was tearing
her apart with her glare. Derek grabbed her hand
only to pull her back close to him. His stiff posture
implied he’d instantly gone into defense mode.
Jesse’s stomach churned with anxiety as her

instinct to run kicked into overdrive.

“It’s a free country,” he replied sharply.
Missy continued in her sickly sweet voice as

she looked at Derek. “I just didn’t know you were
seeing anyone,” she sneered.

“I’m not seeing anyone,” he emphasized. “I’m

with Jesse.”

Bryce had been munching on his popcorn,

saying nothing during the exchange. Jesse could see
the hateful gleam in his eyes as he watched her. She
knew he wouldn’t stay quiet for long.

“Those bruises don’t look too bad on you,

Jesse.” He smirked.

Derek took a step toward him, anger sparking

from his whole body. Jesse held onto him with a
death grip. She didn’t want a confrontation,
especially over her. The last thing she needed was
drama. “I’m not done with you, Bryce.”

“Fine Derek, any time. Anyway, it’s not like I

did it on purpose,” he replied with fear dancing in
his eyes.

“Don’t tell me, tell her. I think she is owed an

apology.”

Bryce looked at Derek and then at Jesse. He

debated his chances and made the smart choice of
apologizing. “I’m sorry, Jesse, that I ran into you,”
he said in a tone devoid of sincerity.

“That’s okay, I’m sure it was an accident,” she

murmured.

Derek’s voice was so quiet she could barely

him over the din of the moviegoers. “Not good
enough.” He moved closer to Bryce.

“Derek, please,” Jesse whispered as she clung

to his arm.

She pleaded silently with her eyes as her hand

shook slightly against his arm. He gave her a slight
grin as he pulled her to his chest to kiss the top of
her head in reassurance.

“We have better things to do. Let’s go, Jess.”

They left with his arm still wrapped around her.

Bryce and Missy stood in silence as they

watched Derek and Jesse leave the theater. Missy
turned the full force of her anger and resentment on
Bryce. “She is not supposed to be with him. She is
not like us, Bryce,” she fumed.

“I’m sure you’ll come up with some heinous

plan. All I know is I’m going to enjoy watching
Jesse Barnes get taught a lesson.” He grinned with
malice.

Chapter 26

Derek opened the truck door for Jesse as she

climbed in silently. He came around to the driver’s
side and sat for a moment just looking at her. Jesse
just gazed out the front of the windshield.

“I’m sorry. Are you okay?” he asked as he

reached for her hand.

“Yeah, I’m fine. I just don’t like drama,

especially if it involves me, that’s all.” She gave
him a slight smile hoping it would erase the concern
in his eyes.

“You still up for a walk around the lake?” he

asked as he started the truck.

“Sure.” She checked her watch.
“I thought you said you didn’t have a curfew.”
“I don’t, but I have to make sure to get

something done,” she said cryptically.

“Why do you do that?” He clenched his hands

on the wheel.

“Do what?”
“Speak in riddles. Like today, you and Jeremy

had a whole conversation with like three words.
Didn’t think I noticed?”

“Sorry about that. It’s hard to explain, and I

really don’t want to talk about it.” She picked

invisible lint from her pants.

“Okay, but can I ask you something else, about

Jeremy?” Derek waited a breath only to take her
silence as permission to continue with his questions.

“Jeremy said he would be there all night to take

care of you like always. What did he mean by that?
Have you been hurt before?” He glanced at her as
they drove to the lake. He could wait patiently for
her response. He just hoped she would trust him
with the truth.

“Oh, I remember now! During Christmas break

I got this really bad flu and was in bed for three
days. I had the worst body aches, fever, cough, the
whole nine yards. Jeremy stayed up, giving me flu
medicine every four hours, because when that stuff
wore off, I was dying. Then he ended up getting it
and was sick through the rest of Christmas break,
so it was my turn to take care of him. We do well
together because sometimes Charlotte goes a little
over the top.”

Derek was quiet for moment, digesting what

she had said. He hated knowing she had been that
sick but was once again grateful for Jeremy.

“You love him, don’t you?” He cocked his

head as he pulled into a parking spot near the boat
launch. The lake closed its gates to the launch, but
the park was open so people could use the bonfire
rings. They could see many dotted fires across the
sandy shore in the distance as they got out of the

truck. Jesse walked to one of the benches to take
off her sandals to walk barefoot in the sand. She
was still contemplating Derek’s question as she rose
with her sandals in hand.

“So, did you forget my question?” he asked as

he grasped her hand to walk to the lake.

“I never thought about it, but I guess I do love

him, but like a brother – that’s the closest thing I
can equate it to,” she replied.

“I’m glad he’s been there for you, but now you

have me too. Hey, I’m sorry about earlier with
Bryce. Sometimes I have trouble with my temper,
especially with morons.”

“I was more worried about Missy. She must

think you’re mental hanging out with me. I can’t
compare to someone like her.” She turned her face
away.

He stopped her mid stride to place his fingertips

on her chin. He tilted her face up to reflect the full
moon in her eyes. “No, you can’t compare to her.”

The hurt rushed through her eyes before he

could even take a breath. “It’s not what you think.
You are so much better than she is or ever will be.
You’re smart, caring, and beautiful.” He laid his
palm against her face gently to caress her cheek.
He slowly moved his hand to the back of her neck
as he leaned in to kiss her slightly parted lips.

She didn’t even get a chance to say a word

before he pulled her close. His mouth was soft and

warm like a summer breeze. He was gentle as the
kiss deepened. There was a wonderful tingle in the
center of her belly that crept to her heart. She
couldn’t seem to keep up with him as he tried to
devour her. Both his hands were holding her face as
he changed the angle of the kiss. He moved his
hands down her back to wind his arms around her.
He squeezed her tightly against him which caused
her still-sore ribs to sing out in pain. She cried out
against his lips as she exhaled a quick breath. He
immediately let her go in utter horror at the
realization of what he had done.

“I’m so sorry, I forgot about your ribs. I didn’t

mean to . . . I didn’t realize I was holding you that
tight,” he stammered. He held her at arm’s length,
gripping her upper arms.

The remorse etched in his eyes was almost too

painful for her to bear. A smile crept on her lips to
reassure him as she slowly moved back into his
arms placing her hand over his heart.

“Your heart is beating so fast.” She looked up

into his eyes. “I didn’t say you had to let go.” She
smiled.

He leaned his brow against hers, slowly

exhaling as he tried to slow his heart rate down.

“As you can tell, I have some pretty intense

feelings for you. I just wanted to kiss you so bad. I
guess I got a little carried away.”

Her body was still vibrating from his kiss as she

felt like she was floating on clouds. She didn’t
know where this confidence was coming from, but
she let her emotions run her actions. She stood up
on her toes pressing her body close to his
simultaneously wrapping her arms around his neck.
“That’s okay. How about this time I squeeze you
instead?”

He smiled at her with the full force of the sun

as he eased her down to her feet. He slowly slid
into another earth shattering kiss. He held her
gently against him as he released the clip that held
her luxurious mink hair. He ran his fingers through
the softness with such care. He kissed her until she
almost couldn’t breathe. He kissed her along her
jaw line and down her neck, leaving her tingling.
He held her close while he tried to catch his breath.

“Are you asleep?” she whispered, as she ran

her hand up and down his back.

“No, just extremely happy,” he whispered

back.

They walked hand-in-hand down the shoreline

in contented silence. A cement barrier divided the
campground area from the lake. Derek walked over
to it, towing Jesse behind. She wondered where
they were going since the campground was for
campers only. He lifted her by the waist without a
word and sat her atop the wall.

“What are you doing?” She laughed.
He laid his hands on her thighs running them up

to her waist to look up at her.

“I wanted to see what it would be like to look

up at you for change since you always have to look
up at me. I have to say the view is just as
spectacular.”

She put her hand on his shoulder for balance as

she brushed some of his hair away from his brow
that fell forward. She was ready to burst out of her
skin like a butterfly emerging from its cocoon. She
just smiled down into those bewitching hazel eyes
as she cautiously leaned down to kiss him. He
wrapped his hands tightly around her waist kissing
her in return. She ran her hands lovingly through his
hair. Finally, she kissed his cheek and forehead as
he had done to her, laying her head on top of his.
He pressed his head against her heart to be that
much closer to her.

“Now your heart is beating fast.” He laughed.
“It always beats fast when I’m around you. I

can’t figure out how to stop that from happening.”

“Well, hopefully that will never happen. I like

the fact that your heart beats just as fast as mine
does. It must mean the same thing.” He smiled. As
he released her Jesse saw concern replace his smile.

“You’re still recovering from your injuries. I

should get you home to rest. I know you’re still
hurting, obviously.” He lowered his gaze.

Sensing his guilt, she wanted to ease his

conscious. “It’s not that bad. I wish I could stay

right here with you all night,” she replied. His bright
smile returned with her declaration as he picked up
her by her waist and slid her down the length of his
body, her arms wrapped around his neck.

She loved the feel of his strong chest and arms

embracing her. Just looking into his eyes made her
want to explode with happiness. She wanted to stay
with him, but she knew he had to get home too. He
kissed her again taking her hand to walk back to the
truck. He kissed her hand affectionately as they
walked slowly to lengthen their time together. They
couldn’t help but smile when their eyes met in a
silent understanding of what they had discovered
under the moonlight. Derek opened the passenger
door for her so she could sit as she put her shoes
on. She left her feet dangling to kick off any sand
as she bent over to replace her shoes. Pain shot
through her ribs, causing a gasp to escape her lips.
The strenuous activities and Derek’s vigorous
squeeze had started her ribs throbbing.

“Here, let me do that.” His voice was laced

with concern. He brushed the sand from her feet as
he slipped on her shoes, buckling each clasp. It was
fascinating to see her shoes in his big hands. He
didn’t fumble with the clasps or pinch her when he
buckled them, he was graceful and careful. He
smiled up at her as he helped her swing her feet
into the truck. As he got in the driver’s side he
instantly blasted the heater for her comfort. He

pulled her toward the center of the truck so there
was no space between them using the lap belt to
secure her safely next to him. He drove home with
his arm around her while her head rested on his
shoulder. It is the perfect way to end the evening,
she thought as he kissed the top of her head.

They got to the front of her trailer more quickly

than either of them liked, which left Derek no
choice but to cut the engine. Jesse had dozed off on
the ride home and would have been content to stay
right there if she could have. She lifted her head
trying to blink some of the sleepiness out of her
eyes.

“Did you have a nice nap?” he asked.
“Yes, I was very comfortable.”
He brushed the hair back from her face as he

rested his palm on her cheek. He pulled her face
forward and kissed her softly. He rested his
forehead against hers as he massaged her neck.

“I just want to stay with you,” he breathed.
He leaned in and kissed her one more time with

a little more urgency ending with a trail of soft
kisses up her cheek with the last one on her nose.

“Okay. Let’s get you in so you can rest.”
He came around the truck to help her out

before she hopped out on her own. They walked up
the small steps to the porch hand-in-hand. He
turned toward her gently taking her other hand. He
leaned down to kiss her one last time as the porch

light snapped on, turning the night into day. Jesse’s
heart dropped in utter terror. This can’t be
happening, she thought. She pulled back from
Derek in mind-numbing fear. She looked at her
watch and realized she was screwed. It was after
midnight and her mother probably had been waiting
for her to come home. Jesse’s demeanor changed in
a blink of an eye as she sheathed herself in her
cold, protective exterior.

The front door banged open as Sheila Barnes

stepped out onto the porch. Her hair had once been
the same color as Jesse’s, but now it was bleached
and cut into a choppy mess. The hard life she led
clearly evident in her worn, angry expression. She
was wearing a T-shirt that belonged in the juniors’
department with jeans that rode low on her narrow
hips. She held a cigarette in one hand and took a
deep drag. The lines around her mouth became
more pronounced as she sucked on the cigarette
like her life depended on it.

“Where have you been?” she slurred.
Great, Jesse thought. She’s blasted and

standing in front of Derek!

“Out,” Jesse said through clenched teeth with

her arms crossed in front of her chest.

Sheila blew out smoke while scrutinizing

Derek. “Who’s he and where’s my money?”

“A friend,” she snapped as she reached into her

back pocket to pull out the money from her

paycheck.

Sheila pocketed the money without counting it.

Jesse knew better than to short change her. Jesse
saw her eyeing Derek with obvious interest, which
sent chills through her spine.

“So, you got the hots for my girl?” Sheila stared

with her hard expression.

Derek was astounded watching the interaction

between Jesse and her mother. He wouldn’t have
believed it had he not seen it for himself. Jesse’s
transformation from sweet and open to cold and
closed off was like watching a sci-fi movie. He
instantly understood now why Jesse was so cryptic
about her home life. Those puzzling conversations
between her and Jeremy were perfectly clear now.
Apparently, Jeremy knew all about Sheila Barnes.

“I like spending time with Jesse, Mrs. Barnes,”

he replied politely.

She snorted and took another drag of her

cigarette, exhaling smoke into the air.

“Uh-huh, well, if you expect her to put out,

think again. That one is stuck up. No one is good
enough for her.” She laughed humorlessly.

Jesse stood rooted on the porch, concentrating

on a knothole and wishing it would open up and
swallow her whole. Her anger was bubbling under
the surface waiting to explode like a volcano.

“That’s enough. You got your money,” Jesse

snapped.

Sheila took one last drag and flicked the

cigarette off the porch into the dirt. “There’s
nothing I don’t deserve from you. Me and Roy are
going to the coast tonight. We’ll be back in a couple
of days.” She went in and yelled for Roy to leave.
She walked out with a small tote with Roy trailing
behind, the stench of alcohol surrounding him.

“Hey sweet Jesse, I’ll be back soon,” he

sneered as he reached out to trail his finger down
her face. She stepped back before he could touch
her. He walked away laughing with her mother. A
few seconds later Derek and Jesse heard his truck
cough to a start and pull away.

Derek turned to Jesse to console her to find the

cold front firmly etched on her expressive face.

“Jesse,” he whispered as he reached out to her.
“Don’t touch me,” she snapped. She saw the

horror and pity in his eyes. She turned and ran into
the trailer, slamming and locking the door in his
face. She didn’t want or need his pity. She paced
like a panther in a cage as the rage worked through
her body. Well, Derek got a nice long look at my
reality. By Monday I’ll be a distant memory for
him. She could not believe she’d allowed her
feelings to get so out of control. On top of that
she’d played right into it by kissing him back! What
was I thinking?

There was no sound coming from the other side

of the door. Jesse’s humiliation mounting by the

second. She heard a soft a knock. “Jess, I will see
you tomorrow, I promise.”

Jesse heard Derek’s assurance, but refused to

listen. Her anger overwhelmed all logical thought.
The sound of his truck leaving finally broke through
her senses because that’s what she expected. It’s
fine that he bailed. I wouldn’t have expected any
less from him. But I’m not going to stand by and
listen to him give me some bullshit line about how
we can be friends when he wants to ditch me. I
knew I shouldn’t have believed him. All that crap
about how he was there for me and how much he
cared? There is no way he could mean any of those
things after seeing who I truly am. She hurled a
book at the wall as she sat on her bed and let the
tears come. She would just have to be invisible
again so she could last the rest of the school year
and then she would be free.

Chapter 27

Jesse got up the next morning with a headache

from crying all night. She had a few errands to do
then she was going to say good-bye to Jeremy. She
knew she could avoid Derek today and probably
tomorrow at school, but for how long she wasn’t
sure. Even her expert skills of stealth may not be
enough, but maybe by then he would have
forgotten her name. He’s a jock. I’m sure his
attention span is about the length of a gnat’s, she
thought sarcastically. She knew she was being
hateful, but it was better than feeling humiliated.
She caught a bus to the other side of town to walk
to Charlotte’s. The store was closed on Sunday,
which gave her time to lick her wounds, but she
wanted Monday off as well. She needed to catch up
on studying for math, do laundry, and with her
mother gone, she could finally relax a little. She
walked up the bright brick path with pain etched on
her face as she knocked on the door. Charlotte
answered in a bright yellow sundress with a smile to
match.

“Hey honey pie, how are you feelin’?” Jesse

stood motionless as Charlotte’s smile faded to
concern. “What’s wrong? No, come in and tell me

all about it.” She wrapped her arm around Jesse’s
shoulders.

Charlotte ushered her into the kitchen to start a

fire for the tea kettle. Jesse slumped at the table
picking apart a napkin that had been left behind.
Charlotte was taking her time fixing her tea, giving
Jesse time to formulate her thoughts.

“Where’s Jeremy?” Jesse asked.
“I suppose he’s either packing or sleeping.” She

laughed.

“Oh yeah, I guess that is the most likely

scenario.” Jesse continued to pick apart the napkin.
She let out a sigh and leaned back in the chair then
just blurted out the evening’s events in one breath.

“Derek took me out last night to a movie. We

had a good time and then he took me home. I
wasn’t paying attention. I didn’t see she was home.
He got a real-life introduction to Sheila Barnes,”
she exhaled.

Charlotte reached over and grabbed her hand

to squeeze it for support.

“Oh honey, I’m so sorry. What did he say?”
“I didn’t give him a chance to say anything! I

told him not to touch me and then I slammed the
door in his face. He didn’t have to say anything.
You should have seen his face, with all that self-
righteous pity.” Jesse crossed her arms over her
chest wishing the pain in her heart would go away.
Jesse didn’t feel the need to tell Charlotte about

Derek’s promise, she knew it was crap. “My only
concern now is how much of this is going to be
blurted all over school.”

Charlotte let Jesse finish her tirade. Charlotte

always had a way of putting things into perspective,
but Jesse wasn’t sure she was ready to hear any of
it. Charlotte stirred her tea a little before she
addressed Jesse’s problem.

“I’m not taking his side because I’m always on

yours, but you should have at least given him a
chance. He might have surprised you, but
regardless I don’t think he’ll say anything. He
doesn’t seem to be that kind of person,” she
reassured.

“I don’t know anymore. He looked pretty

freaked when Sheila came out drunk looking for
money. I can’t imagine him not sharing that story in
the locker room. Maybe he’s been playing me all
along. People say all kinds of things, especially if
they want something from you. He’s probably just a
typical guy wanting into my pants like Jeremy
says.”

Jeremy walked into the kitchen with his duffel

slung over his shoulder and his backpack in his
other hand. “Did I hear my name?” He had heard
the whole conversation but hadn’t wanted to
interrupt. He knew she was hurt, but he hoped
Derek wasn’t a typical guy for his sake; otherwise,
he was going to come back and pound him.

“I was just telling Charlotte that I believe your

theory that guys are just after one thing.”

“Come on squirt, walk me out to my car. Bye

Mom, I will see you next break.”

He leaned down to kiss Charlotte, giving her a

surreptitious wink. He would try to reason with
Jesse and see if he could help Derek out. Jeremy
threw his bags into the back of his truck as he
leaned against the tailgate. He crossed his long legs
as he looked at Jesse with all seriousness.

“I heard what you told Mom. I’m not saying

you were wrong, but you didn’t even give the guy a
chance. Aren’t you being a little hypocritical?”

She gazed at the trees over his head

contemplating what he said. She didn’t want to
admit that he might have a point. She was judging
Derek, just like she assumed he would judge her
because of her family.

“You might have a point,” she grudgingly

admitted. She walked over and leaned against the
truck next to him laying her head against his
shoulder. “I’m just afraid. I don’t want to get hurt.
When you let people in, then they have free reign
to stomp all over you.”

“Those are the risks, kid,” he said. “Besides,

you don’t want to miss out on life. Bad things are
going to happen, that you already know. Give
yourself a chance to experience some good things. I
think Derek is the real deal.” He slung his arm

around her for a squeeze. “I have to hit the road
now, but you know you can always call if you need
me, and I will be back here in a flash,” he said as he
tapped the end of her nose.

“Thanks, I’ll be fine. I just need to focus on

school. Derek can take care of himself.” She
smiled.

Jeremy got into his truck chuckling to himself

as he revved the engine. “You are a stubborn brat. I
cannot figure out why I keep you around.” He
pulled her to the open window and thumped her on
the forehead. “I’ll see you soon.” He drove off with
a wave from the window. Jesse stood there for a
moment longer watching the truck until it
disappeared out of the neighborhood. She decided
her mood was not fit for company, went inside to
make excuses to Charlotte, and left to go read by
the lake.

~ ~ ~

Monday morning came bright and early. Jesse

made it to school early as usual and decided to hide
out in different places to avoid Derek, even if
Jeremy’s voice was telling her to stop being a
hypocrite. She wasn’t going to listen to what Derek
had to say no matter what. She could probably say
the speech herself anyway.

She went to her locker and got the books she

would need for the next three periods so she could

avoid going back to her locker. She also went to her
4

period English teacher before class to ask for

independent study during the period, so she
wouldn’t have to see Derek during class.

The rest of the morning passed quickly without

incident. The lunch bell startled her back from the
book she was reading in the library. She gathered
her books and headed to her locker. She hadn’t
seen Derek all morning and even though she hated
to admit it, she missed him with a dull ache in her
heart. As she made her way down the crowded
hallway she spotted him by her locker looking
down the hallway and around the courtyard in
search of her. It made her heart beat faster, but guilt
coated the happiness she felt. She huddled by a
group of kids at their lockers. No one would notice
her mixed in the group, but just in case she kept to
the shadow of the hallway.

She watched as Derek paced another few

minutes, his frustration evident as he looked around
the courtyard. Finally, he just leaned his head
against her locker in what seemed defeat. Jesse
didn’t budge even though her heart was begging her
to go to him. He seemed tired, maybe even sad.
This was confusing. Maybe he didn’t want to end
the relationship. No, she wasn’t going to take any
chances, it was too risky. She would just ignore
him; he would eventually give up. Finally, he did
give up and walked away from her locker. She

waited until he was out of sight before she went
over to touch her locker where his head had been
pressed. She allowed herself a brief moment of
grief before she put away her books and found a
quiet place to read until lunch was over.

She went to the bathroom as lunch ended.

Darin, Derek’s twin sister, spotted Jesse through the
reflection in the mirror the minute she walked
through the door. Darin’s face was a mask of
determination. She pushed her way through the
throng of girls ignoring their complaints. Jesse had
no time to turn around. It appeared she would have
to face at least one Aames today.

“Where have you been, Jesse?” she hissed. She

clutched Jesse’s hand by the wrist to prevent her
escape.

“I’ve been in classes all day, Darin, just like

you,” she replied, her voice devoid of emotion.

“Why have you been avoiding Derek? Do you

know he has been going out of his mind?” Her
voice was raised an octave with agitation causing
some girls to look in their direction.

“I’m not avoiding him,” Jesse averted her gaze

to the left, a sure indication of the lie. “Anyway,
what do I have to do with his agitation? It’s not my
problem that something is bothering Derek.” Jesse
put as much defiance she could muster into her
voice. She wasn’t going to be able to keep up this
non-caring act much longer. It was killing her to

know Derek was suffering, but why she couldn’t
fathom. She couldn’t understand anyone caring for
her enough to work themselves to any level of
agitation.

“It is totally your problem that my brother is

hurting, since you’re the one causing his pain. I
don’t know what happened between you two, he
won’t tell me, but you need to talk to him. He is
driving the rest of us insane.”

Jesse was totally perplexed now. He’s upset

because he hasn’t talked to me? He didn’t tell
Darin about my mother? She just didn’t get it. This
was not what she would expect from a guy trying to
ditch a loser girl. She looked at Darin, not sure what
to say. She just needed to think a minute, maybe for
another month.

“I can’t talk to him today. I don’t understand

any of this,” she mumbled as she turned her back
on Darin to compose herself.

Darin softened her tone as she touched Jesse’s

arm to get her attention. “Jesse, cut yourself and
my brother a break. He really cares for you and I’m
pretty sure you care about him too. Just give him a
chance, okay? And if you don’t talk to him soon, I
will hunt you down and drag you home with me.
You may be able to hide from him, but I can find
you.” She laughed at the last statement and gave
her a hard hug.

Jesse hadn’t expected the kindness Darin was

offering. She gave her a tentative smile as she
nodded her head in assent. Darin blew out of the
bathroom before the final bell rang leaving Jesse
alone with her uncertainty. Darin had given her a
lot to think about through 5

period, but she still

switched sections for 6

so she wouldn’t have to

see Derek in the gym. She decided to take the long
way home. She didn’t have to work, so there was
no need for her to catch the bus. She had to finish
her laundry and grab a few measly groceries.
Hopefully, those mundane chores would help to
keep her mind off Derek. She didn’t want to hope
that he really did care about her. She was sure
Darin wasn’t lying, but she still couldn’t wrap her
head around what she had said.

The chores worked their magic, allowing the

afternoon to pass quickly. In fact, since Sheila was
gone, Jesse was able to study uninterrupted. She
had just settled into a nice book when she heard a
car door slam and the front door bang open a
moment later. Great. There goes my little piece of
heaven.

Chapter 28

He was so frustrated with her. She was so quick

to assume he would ditch her. Why can’t she trust
me like she does Jeremy? Although, if he was going
to be honest, she wasn’t far off the mark. Seeing
Sheila in full force freaked him out. He had thought
about the scene most of the night and had decided
to break it off first thing on Monday. There was no
way he could deal with her issues. She would be
forever second guessing his motives or expecting
his betrayal. Could he love her enough to fix her?
Even if he did stick it out, there was no guarantee
she wouldn’t leave him devastated like Missy had
done. Derek had never met anyone before that was
as complicated as Jesse. Her closely-guarded
secrets frustrated him, yet her quiet strength and
deep, caring nature intrigued and attracted him. He
had looked into those deep blue eyes, losing himself
in her beauty, wondering if anything else truly
mattered. Patience wasn’t one of his strong suits.
He had to find her to at least make sure she was
okay, even if he was going to hurt her.

Once he had made his decision he was

determined to find her on Sunday. He went to
Charlotte’s first but had missed her. Charlotte

didn’t know where she was going either. Charlotte
hadn’t asked what was wrong when he showed up
on her doorstep. He suspected Jesse had already
told her about the incident with her mother, but she
did tell him Jesse would be found when she was
ready to be found. He knew she wouldn’t miss
school, she was too obsessive about it. She couldn’t
avoid him there, so he waited until Monday.
Monday came and once again she was nowhere to
be found. How does she just disappear? He asked
people from her classes if they had seen her. Some
had, but somehow she was able to ditch him every
time. She didn’t come to 4

period, the one class

they had together. When he asked Ms. Lee if Jesse
had checked in, she told him she allowed Jesse to
do some independent study. By the time class
ended and he’d gotten to the library, she was gone
again. She was like a ghost. He waited for her by
her locker at lunch, but still nothing. He just wanted
to get this over with. It was killing him to think he
was living up to her expectations, but he couldn’t
see any other choice. He didn’t see her during 6

period, and she managed to elude him after school
as well. He had to work at his dad’s office in the
afternoon, but he was going to find her tonight if it
was the last thing he did. He pulled to the end of
the trailer park across from Jesse’s house. It was
dark, but he could see a light on in the side window
and knew she would be reading. He wanted to keep

a discreet distance so as not to spook her by the
sound of his truck. He figured if he walked up to
her door, she couldn’t hide.

Roy’s beat-up truck came screaming around

the corner and slammed to a stop in front of the
trailer. He saw Sheila and her boyfriend get out,
weaving their way to the steps and eventually
lurching through the front door. In the breath of a
moment the sound of yelling erupted from the
trailer. He wasn’t sure who was yelling at who, but
that Roy guy had given him bad vibes when he had
encountered him last week. He saw the way he had
leered at Jesse. He could tell what was running
through his mind when he looked at her. As Derek
got out of his truck he saw Jesse climb out of the
side window. She jumped down like a cat, landing
squarely on both feet. She managed to hold onto a
blanket but had bobbled a book and flashlight. She
quickly bent down to retrieve them before she
headed off into the woods that lined the trailer
park. She was heading toward the lake. Where is
she going? he thought. Either way he wasn’t going
to let her get away this time.

~ ~ ~

Jesse followed the trail to a small grove of trees

that had a nice view of the lake. It was an easy mile
hike to the clearing from the trailer. The moon was
bright, which helped to guide the path. There was

also a nice log to lean against, giving a nice view of
the glittering lake in the moonlight. Maybe I could
build a little fire sometime, but with my luck I’ll set
the trees on fire, she thought. Diverting her
thoughts helped to bring her anxiety level down as
she settled into her surroundings. Sheila and Roy
had come barreling through the house, tearing apart
cupboards and the refrigerator looking for food.
Jesse had locked her bedroom door and quietly
escaped out the window.

The sounds of the forest were quiet tonight,

except for a faint rustling sound. No matter. It’s
probably some wind blowing leaves, she mused.
The ground was cold, but the blanket was soft and
the flashlight was strong. She had to remind herself
to check her watch regularly or she would get
wrapped up in the book and be there all night. Her
head snapped up when the rustling grew louder. She
jumped to her feet while her body tensed to run.
She couldn’t believe her eyes when she saw Derek
burst through the stand of trees just like in her
dream. His sandy hair was tousled like he had been
running his fingers through it while his face was
drawn and tight. His hazel eyes were a perfect
storm and it was going to hurt when they landed on
her.

“Jesse, what are you doing out here? Do you

know I have been looking for you all day? Do you
have any idea what you have put me through?” he

bellowed.

She had to put the wall up now. If she didn’t

look directly at him she could get through this
conversation. She clenched her trembling hands
around her book more tightly as she held it against
her chest.

“Which question would you like me to answer

first?” she replied barely above a whisper.

“Jesse, just tell me what’s going on!” He

demanded as he took a few steps closer, which
caused her to instinctively back up. Jesse saw the
hurt flash through his eyes. “Jess, you never have
to be afraid of me. You know that, right?”

Jesse waited a heartbeat to decide on a retort

that would make him leave. No matter what Darin
said her instincts to protect herself were on full
alert. Rational thought was gone when she was in
survival mode. She wouldn’t listen to anything
Derek had to say. “Why are you following me,
Derek? What does it matter to you what I do?”

She raised her hand to halt him from answering,

“Wait, don’t answer that. Let’s save both of us a
long, drawn-out conversation, so I can get back to
my book and you can go back to your perfect life.”
She couldn’t hold back the sarcasm in her voice.
She wanted to slice him like razors before he could
hurt her. She wasn’t going to let him make her feel
like trash. She was going to win this battle. He was
not going to walk away thinking poor Jesse, she

fumed. She continued in a mocking tone as she
faced him.

“Let me see if I’ve got this right. ‘Jesse, I really

like you, but I have too much going on right now to
hang out with you anymore. So see you around.’
Oh, and I almost forgot the best part, ‘we can still
be friends.’ And the translation for all of that is
‘you come from some freak lowlife drunk and there
is no way I want to get mixed up with that mess.’ I
told you from the very beginning, Derek, that I
didn’t want you around. I was perfectly fine dealing
with my situation without any help, so now you
have your out. I’m sure you can find your way
back.”

She sat down with a thump and pretended like

he wasn’t there as she leafed through her book to
find where she left off. She could feel his eyes
boring into her. His anger radiated off him in
waves. Why is he angry? I gave him his out. The
sooner he left the sooner she could have her
breakdown. She hoped he couldn’t hear her heart
cracking. She didn’t want to cry over him. No, she
refused to cry over him. A coat of ice began to
form a protective layer to block out his presence.

“You know what, you’re absolutely right. I was

going to say all of that to you. I didn’t think I could
handle your mom or the fact you may never trust
anyone, including me.”

He knelt down in front of her and gently took

the book from her hand and placed it on the ground
next to her. He held both her hands and pulled her
to her feet. He didn’t let go as his gaze locked on
her shimmering eyes.

“But that’s not the truth,” he murmured. “I was

scared Jesse, not only for you, but for me. I wasn’t
sure I could be strong enough for you. Then I
thought, you’re an idiot. Look at what she has lived
with her whole life. Jesse, when I kissed you the
other night, that was the truth. I know we both felt
the same thing. You know what it’s like being the
guy that always makes the right decisions?
Everyone assumes I have everything handled, but
you have thrown my world out of whack. I thought
the right decision would be to stop seeing you
because of what people would say. I know that
would be the biggest mistake of my life. You make
me a better person, Jesse, just by your willingness
to keep going no matter what life throws at you.”

Steeling her churning emotions, she looked at

him with a blank stare. She wasn’t going to
acknowledge anything he had said. She’d seen the
look on his face when her mother had come out.
But he seems so upset now, she warred. She didn’t
understand any of this. What she did know was that
she needed to stop wanting to believe him. She
wasn’t sure how much longer she could keep her
composure.

“Okay fine, you’ve said what you came to say.

There. Now can you just go away,” she exclaimed.
She broke away and turned to walk toward the
lake. Before she could take two steps he spun her
around and held tightly to her shoulders with his
iron grip. Shock and fear raced through her causing
her to gasp in surprise.

“Jesse, you know I’m not going to hurt you, but

I need you to hear me.” He loosened his grip on her
shoulders but didn’t take them away. “I don’t know
how to make you understand. I care so much about
you. I don’t give a rat’s ass about your mom or
where you live,” he burst out.

“I saw the way you looked when my mom

came out. Don’t lie to me, Derek. I might be trailer
trash, but I’m not stupid.” She looked up into his
eyes with all the pride she could muster. “Pity is
not a form of caring for someone.”

He swung around with his hands pressed to his

face. He was breathing hard in an attempt to
control his voice. He turned back around to face
her with all of his frustration written on his face.
“Don’t ever say that again, you are not trash! You
are the bravest and the most incredibly beautiful
person I know,” he ranted. “Damn it, Jesse, don’t
you get it? I don’t just care about you. I love you,
Jesse.” He was facing her with all the love and fear
etched in his eyes. He reached out, placing his
hands on her shoulders. “I really do love you,
Jesse.”

She stood mouth agape, words would not form.

That was the last thing she expected to hear him
say. She wanted to believe him so badly, but the
prideful coward in her still wanted to run. “You
don’t know what you’re saying,” she mumbled. She
took two steps in retreat, but he held her hands fast.

“If you don’t believe me, just feel my heart

because it doesn’t lie.” He placed her hand on his
chest to feel his rapid heartbeat. “It wouldn’t be
beating that fast if I didn’t love you. I was scared
out of my mind to tell you, and by the look on your
face, I had good cause.”

She couldn’t deny the fact his heart was

beating like a jackhammer. The pleading look in his
eyes fought with her usually rational thought
process. She couldn’t speak, she just stood staring
at him as her mind was a jumbled mess of emotions.

“Okay. I didn’t really expect you to say it back

to me, but I was hoping you would at least say
something,” he said.

“I don’t know what to say. I want to believe

you, but part of me thinks that it’s not possible and
what alternate universe have I fallen into.” She
spread her arms wide.

He stroked his hand down her face to cup the

back of her neck and leaned down a whisper away
from her lips. “Will you trust me one more time?
Let me show you how much I love you.” He leaned
in to kiss her as softly as the flutter of butterfly

wings. Immediately her heart started to react with
its uncontrollable pace. He pulled her tightly
against him to deepen the kiss until her head was
spinning off her shoulders. She wrapped her arms
around his neck relishing the feel of being in his
arms once again. She couldn’t help it, he just took
her breath away. He ran his hands up and down her
back, then into her hair. No matter how many
arguments she had with herself you couldn’t deny
how they fit together so perfectly. She could feel
his heart beating in time with hers. He had been
nothing but tender with her. The love she had for
him rolled down her face in tears. She couldn’t
speak the words herself, but the tears spoke for
themselves.

He felt the wetness run over his hands as held

her face. He broke the kiss leaning his forehead
against hers. Her breath was ragged from the tears
and kiss. “Hey, please tell me those are happy tears
because I can’t take the sad ones,” he cajoled.

She smiled up at him with her tear streaked

face. “Yes, they’re happy ones.” That was all she
could squeak out before he pulled her against him
to bury his face in her hair. He eased back to look
in her eyes and wiped away the remaining tears
with his thumb.

“Hey, you want to go to my house? It’s cold

out here, and I’m not about to leave you alone.” He
tucked a lock hair behind her ear.

She hesitated for a moment. The worry of being

judged in the forefront of her mind. She hadn’t met
his mother yet and could imagine what she would
think of her. Any mother would want the best for
her son. Would she approve of a girl with a less
than stellar pedigree? If Dr. Aames and Darin were
any indication of personalities she should have
nothing to worry about. She took a leap of faith
with Derek maybe she could keep the faith a little
longer.

Chapter 29

Derek’s house was a two-story Cape Cod with

a wide covered porch. It was painted a blue gray
with white trim. A portable basketball hoop stood in
front of the three-car garage. The lawn was
perfectly manicured with a half circle cut out for
neatly arranged shrubs and small trees. One side of
the porch held a swing with a cushion in a daisy
print. The other side had two white high-backed
wicker chairs with a small wrought iron table in
between. Derek led her up the small set of steps to
the front door. He held her hand the whole time as
they entered the foyer. The floor was hardwood
and led around a staircase to the kitchen. The
household was still awake as muted TV sounds
came from the family room.

“This is my dad’s office here on the left,”

Derek pointed. The room had floor to ceiling
bookshelves behind a large dark wood desk. There
was a laptop open and a stack of files on the corner
of the desk. The room was masculine, but held an
air of comfort. They continued down the hall to the
next room, which was a large dining room. They
walked around the staircase that came partway into
the foyer to the kitchen area. The kitchen had a

large granite island with stainless steel appliances.
There was a small light lit over the sink that gave a
faint glow to the room. She could see the breakfast
nook under the bay window that led to the big open
family room.

Claire Aames wasn’t exactly what you would

expect from a doctor’s wife. Her hair was honey
blonde and her eyes were misty meadow green. She
was tall and willowy as she stood at the counter and
yelled at the referee on TV.

“That man is blind! That was so a foul.” She

stood barefoot in lightweight sweat pants and an
Oregon Beaver T-shirt.

“Derek, you just missed the most ridiculous

call.” Claire turned toward Derek with a scowl on
her face that instantly turned to a smile. “Hello,
Jesse. I was wondering if Derek was ever going to
bring you home.”

Jesse was shocked to hear her name coming

from Derek’s mother like they were long lost
friends. The shock intensified when Claire came
over and gave her a hug. Her first inclination was to
step back, but that was quickly squashed when
Derek kept her in place with his hand at the small
of her back.

“I didn’t hurt your ribs, did I?” Claire leaned

back to look into her eyes.

“No, of course not. I’m much better now,” she

replied.

Curtis Aames walked in with a coffee mug.

“Hey, Jesse, how are you feeling?”

“Great,” she stammered.
He gestured to his wife with a wave of his

hand. “Honey, flip on that light. I want to have a
look for myself.”

“That is not necessary, Dr. Aames, I feel 100%

normal.” Jesse moved next to Derek to grip his arm
against her like a shield. He squeezed her hand in
reassurance as he looked into her eyes.

“It’s okay.” He let go of her hand as his dad

stepped forward. Dr. Aames started at her ribs and
ran his fingers lightly over them, then gently added
some pressure until she flinched. “Much better,” he
said. He then moved to her shoulder and rotated
her arm. “Very good,” he continued. He checked
her neck and facial bruises. She couldn’t get over
how his eyes looked just like Derek’s.

“She’s healing very well. The only thing wrong

with her is she is a tad bit cold,” Dr. Aames said.

Jesse smiled in relief as she stepped back to

Derek’s side. “Thank you, Dr. Aames, for
everything you did . . . I really appreciate it,” she
stammered as she shifted on her feet.

“My pleasure, Jesse. I’m just glad it wasn’t

serious.”

“Well, now that the exam is over, I have been

dying to tell you that your poetry is excellent,”
exclaimed Claire. “Derek brought some of it home

to show me. I teach creative writing over at the
junior college. This was better than most of what I
get. I would love to see more of it.”

“Mom, you can talk shop later. I think I hear

your game,” Derek jerked his head to the other
room to end the conversation.

“Oh, you’re right. Jesse, don’t forget to bring

more of your writing. I’m glad I finally got to meet
you.” She gently squeezed Jesse’s arm as she and
Dr. Aames went back to the family room.

“Hey guys, you want to watch the game with

us?” Dr. Aames yelled out from the room.

Derek looked down at her once again with a

devilish smile on his face. “No, we’re going out
back to the hammock for a while.”

“Okay, but put a sweatshirt or jacket on that

girl, Derek,” his dad yelled.

Derek pulled her back down the hallway and

up the staircase. He made a right at the top of the
stairs and made a sharp turn around the banister.
Jesse was still pondering how Derek had gotten
copies of her writing as he tugged her up the stairs.

“How did you get copies of my writing,

Derek?” her accusation lingered in the air.

He smiled slyly as he confessed, “Being a T.A.

you get free roam of the copy room. I asked Ms.
Lee if she needed help making copies of the poetry
essays because she copies examples of the best
ones for next year’s students. All I did was make an

extra copy for myself.”

She blushed, realizing how highly he thought of

her work. “You are very clever, Mr. Aames. I’m
going to have to keep my eye on you.” She
laughed.

“I am all for that,” he agreed. “Shall I continue

our tour?”

“By all means proceed, sir,” she swept her

hand around the room.

“My sister’s bedroom is that first one on the

left from the stairs, with our bathroom in between
my bedroom and hers, and my parent’s bedroom is
at the head of the stairs.” He pointed to the closed
double doors.

“This is just a small utility closet for linens and

cleaning supplies,” he indicated past his room. “The
guest bedroom is at the far end of the hall,” he
continued.

The door was open to his room as they entered.

It was tidy with the bed made. The navy bedspread
gave away the fact this was a guy’s room, not to
mention the large basketball shoes next to the
closet door. There were books stacked on the desk
next to his computer. What Jesse wouldn’t give to
have a computer of her own. There were some
clothes hanging over the desk chair. He walked
over and picked up a dark blue hooded sweatshirt.

“This should do the trick.” He walked back

over and slipped it over her head. She automatically

put her arms through the sleeves. The sweatshirt
bagged around her waist and hung just above her
knees. The sleeves hung past her hands as well. He
helped extricate her hands from the sleeves by
rolling them up as a door at the far end of the room
opened with a click. Darin emerged in shorts and
tank top with a towel wrapped around her head.
Their rooms were separated by a bathroom and
each bedroom had an adjoining door.

“I thought I heard you,” she said to Derek. She

then turned her gaze on Jesse. “Well, I’m glad I
didn’t have to drag you here. I see by the little stars
in your eyes that all is well.”

Jesse felt the blush all the way to her hairline.

Derek looked at both of them with confusion.

“What are you talking about?” he asked.
“Nothing. Darin and I had a conversation in the

bathroom today. She just helped me out with some
stuff,” she smiled.

“So, in other words, butt-out girl stuff?” He

grinned.

“That is correct, brother dear. Now where are

you going that she needs to look like a burrito?
Although that color is really good with your eyes,
Jess.”

“We’re going out back for your nosy

information, so you stay in here,” Derek replied
with an affectionate smile.

He patted her on the head as they went back

down to the family room. The sliding glass doors
were opposite the wall that held the flat screen TV
above a warmly lit fireplace.

“Well, now she looks a lot warmer. Good job,

son,” Dr. Aames grinned.

“Thanks, Dad,” he replied with a hint of

sarcasm. “We’ll be out back for a while, then I’ll
take her home, okay?”

“Sounds good,” his mother replied. “If it gets

cold, there are some blankets on the deck.”

The deck was made of light colored cypress

surrounded by red rails. It was wide and raised a
few steps from the yard with a large grill off to one
side next to a six-chair patio set. Large ceramic
pots with multicolored flowers just beginning to
bloom were placed around the deck. The colors
will be spectacular once they all opened, Jesse
thought. The yard was surrounded by tall fir trees
with feathery fingers that reached the sky. There
were also shiny liquid ambers and maple trees,
which gave the yard an eclectic feel. The lawn was
lush and green with a nice Jacuzzi to the far left of
the yard. She had never been in a Jacuzzi, as with
most things, she had heard about them. Derek
noticed her eyes tracking to the Jacuzzi.

“You and I are going to have to try that out

very soon,” he said as he pulled her to the edge of
the lawn. Tied between two trees was a blue and
white striped hammock. He walked up and plopped

right down into it with no problem. He had set the
hammock to swinging when he jumped in. He put
his hands behind his head and grinned as the
perfect picture of relaxation.

“Come on in.” He patted the spot next to him.
Jesse stood contemplating how to get into the

swing. Her thoughts were going in every direction.
She knew it was just a swing, but she had never
been that close to someone, let alone someone she
loved. The thought was alarming and exciting all at
the same time.

“I don’t know how I’m supposed to do this.

I’ve never been in a hammock before,” she blurted
out.

He looked up at her in amazement, but then his

eyes softened as he took her hand. “Cool, another
first you get to experience just with me.” He
yanked her arm causing her to fall right on top of
him. The air whooshed out of her as she hit Derek
square in the chest. He rolled her right to his side
and tucked her under his arm where she fit
perfectly. The swing was rocking quickly back and
forth from the extra weight. Her head was cradled
snuggly on his shoulder as he held her close.

“Not too bad, huh?” he asked.
“You scared me. I didn’t expect that,” she

replied.

“Well, that way you didn’t have a chance to

overthink it. I was not about to let you change your

mind,” he murmured as his lips brushed her temple.

The stars were so bright they cast a glow all on

their own. The air smelled of fragrant trees and
fresh cut grass. Derek pushed the swing with his
hand to give it a slow sway. He leaned over to study
her face in the bright moonlight.

“I meant what I said in the woods,” he

whispered. “I know it may have freaked you out,
but it’s how I feel. I really love you, Jess. I don’t
expect you to say it back to me, although that
would be nice,” he chuckled. “But I know you will
when you’re ready, and I really hope there is no if
about it.”

He stroked his fingers down her cheek slowly

to trace the outline of her lips. He was so glorious
her heart was pounding with the love she had for
him. The kiss started slowly with sweet, gentle
kisses that he tracked from her lips to her cheek
down to just below her jawline. He made his way
back up to kiss her tenderly one more time. She
placed her palm against his cheek and decided he
was worth the risk. Her voice was lodged in her
throat so tightly she wasn’t sure if it would work.
She didn’t want it to crack as she voiced her love
for him. Love wasn’t something to be feared; it was
to be shared. She traced her thumb over his lips
until he grinned at her.

“Derek, you’ve given me so much.” She gazed

into his eyes hoping to make him understand how

much love she had for him, but she knew he needed
the words.

“All I can give you is my heart and soul. I love

you, Derek Aames,” she whispered.

His smile lit up his entire being before he kissed

her with such intensity she felt an explosion in her
chest. She needed him more than air. She wound
her arms around his neck and turned to her side to
mold her body to his. They meshed together like
puzzle pieces that were finally reunited. He ran his
hand up and down her back. He deepened the
kisses till both of them were racing to an unseen
finish line. He kept his hand in her hair for a
moment as he stroked her back down to her waist
to pull her closer. Then with a lightning flash move
he pulled her on top of him. She continued to kiss
him with uncontrolled passion that it barely
registered that their positions changed. He couldn’t
get enough of her. He ran his hands up the
sweatshirt she wore to her soft skin. His hands were
cold and she gave a startled gasp that broke the
heat of the moment.

“Uh, your hands are cold,” she said.
“Sorry, I didn’t realize, but thanks for warming

them up.” His eyes were glowing with love as he
removed them to brush her hair back from her face,
which hung like a curtain of sable over him.

“Now that I have you right where I want you, I

have a question for you.” His eyes glittered with

mischief.

“Okay,” she hesitated, confusion lining her

face.

“I felt you stiffen up. Relax. The hard part is

already over. We know we love each other, right?”

“Right,” she grinned at him while she brushed

some of his hair from his forehead.

“Will you go to the prom with me?” he asked.
She hadn’t seen that one coming. She never

thought she would go to a prom let alone with the
love of her life. The doubts started creeping back
in: money for the dress, shopping for accessories . .
. not to mention the logistics, she wouldn’t have
Derek picking her up at the trailer.

“Jess, you’re overthinking again. Just tell me

what’s in your heart.” He stroked her hair as he
brought her focus back to them and out of her
head.

“Yes, I will go with you,” she said. She wasn’t

going to worry about anything. The rest would take
care of itself. She kissed him again with a soft
promise of her love. Their passion immediately
began to flame again. He banded his arms around
her, careful not to squeeze too hard as he broke the
kiss and buried his face in her hair.

“I could keep you here on me forever,” he

whispered.

She laughed as she snuggled down on his chest.

“How did I get on top of you by the way?” she

asked.

“Fast hands. Basketball player, remember?” He

laughed as he kissed the top of her head.

“I think I like lying on top of you. I wouldn’t

mind staying here forever,” she teased.

“Now you’ve done it.” He rolled her off, but

kept her pressed against him. “You can kill me
when you say things like that. I’m not a superhero-I
can explode, you know.” He leaned his brow
against hers as he gave her a fast, hard kiss and
then looked at his watch.

“It’s late, do you think you will be okay to go

home now?”

“Yeah, they should be gone or passed out by

now. They won’t bother me. Plus, I don’t want you
to be out late on a school night,” she said as she
took one more kiss.

“You know, we do have a guest room. You

could just stay here. I would love to have breakfast
across the table from you.”

She smiled at him as she touched his face. “If I

stayed here, I don’t think either one of us would get
any rest. You better take me home.” She kissed him
one last time.

Chapter 30

Cars were whipping into the parking lot,

searching for the closest spot to the gates. Jesse had
never noticed the frightening pace students raced in
an attempt to make it to school before the tardy
bell. It was rare that she slept in this late and for
once she was arriving close to the tardy bell herself.
She had such a wonderful time the night before she
could all but feel herself glowing with love. She
knew she could’ve arranged for Derek to come
pick her up, but the brisk walk in the morning had
given her time to reflect on the world through her
new eyes. She spotted him by his truck the minute
she got into the lot. His eyes fixed on her as she
crossed the packed lot.

She stopped directly in front of him with her

arms hugging the sweatshirt to her chest. Her eyes
silently communicated with his in volumes as a
smile flitted across her face. He pressed his palm
against her cheek as he leaned down to kiss her as
softly as morning dew on a flower. There was such
passion in that soft kiss that her belly was filled
with frantic butterflies. He ended with a kiss to her
brow as he pulled her to his chest. He breathed in
her scent as he laid his head against hers.

“I was worried when I didn’t find you here this

morning. I was getting ready to go look for you,” he
said.

“Sorry. I slept in this morning,” she said as she

pulled away just enough to look up at him. “I
brought your sweatshirt back. Sorry, I didn’t get a
chance to wash it.”

“I’m not. I doubt I will ever wash it because I

want it to smell like you,” he laughed as he took an
exaggerated sniff. He tossed the sweatshirt on the
front seat and grabbed something from under it that
she couldn’t see.

“Here, I got this for you the other night when

you weren’t talking to me. This is really for my own
peace of mind, so don’t argue about taking it,” he
grumbled as handed her a black palm-sized cell
phone. She flipped the phone over in her hand, her
first instinct to give it back plowed to the surface.

“I can’t pay for this. Anyway, I really don’t

need it, I see everyone that I talk to,” she replied.

“I knew you would say that, so I got you a

prepaid phone which I loaded with $40 worth of
minutes. That should last you a life time.” He
chuckled. “I even put in all the important numbers.
Of course, mine is first.” He stepped closer to her
rubbing his hands up and down her arms, “Jess,
after last night I have to know you’re safe. If you
need to get out, you call me.”

Embarrassment mixed with her pride. “I told

you, I can take care of myself. I’ve been dealing
with this all my life. I know how to handle any
conceivable situation.”

“So you’re going to argue? Okay, then, let’s try

some logic. Do you love me?” He waited patiently
for her reply.

Her insides started to glow when she looked

into his eyes, “Of course I do.”

He leaned back against his truck arms crossed

over his chest, long lanky legs crossed at the ankles.
“Okay, so if you love me, and you knew I could
possibly be going into a situation that I may need
help–and yes, I too can handle things—would you
want to be there for me if I called you?”

She hated his logic right now. How could she

argue with that? Of course, she would want to be
there for him. She sighed and dropped the phone in
her book bag.

“See, I knew you were smart.” He smiled as he

grabbed her face and kissed her again. He leaned
his brow against hers and whispered, “I love you,
Jess.”

They walked to their lockers hand in hand not

caring who saw or what whispers were going on
behind their backs. The tardy bell rang, causing a
multitude of banging lockers as Derek walked up to
her locker. “I’ll see you in 4

period,” as he gave

her a hit and run kiss. She watched his retreating
back as he sprinted down the hallway. Would she

ever get used to the fact that he really did love her?
Probably not, but she was certainly going to try.

All of her classes flew except for the last ten

minutes of 3

period which dragged on endlessly.

She was anxious to see Derek, but she had to focus
on her work. It felt like she had been walking in a
daze all day. Relationships take a lot out of you,
she mused. Derek had beaten her to class and was
sitting in the seat next to hers, which was normally
not his.

“What are you doing here?” she whispered.
“I’m in this class,” he whispered back. “Did

you forget?” He chuckled.

She gave him a you’re ridiculous glare. “Of

course, I didn’t forget you were in this class. I
meant what are you doing in this seat, it’s not
yours.” The tardy bell rang before he could give her
an explanation, but the look on Missy James’ face
said enough. She had flounced in, hair swinging,
lips glossed to a high shine. The minute she saw
Derek next to Jesse she slammed her books on her
desk in obvious annoyance. Jesse slouched lower
into her seat to avoid Missy’s anger and dirty looks.

Missy’s glare did not go unnoticed by Derek

either, Jesse mused. His joking manner was
replaced by his own red-hot glare. Jesse’s joy could
so easily be erased by one pointless person; it was
unfair. Derek smiled as he reached over to grasp
Jesse’s hand and brought it to his lips with a soft

kiss. He kept his eyes fixed on Jesse. “You did
nothing wrong,” he whispered. She smiled back at
him hoping he would believe her false confidence.
Missy was visibly seething in her chair, and with an
angry flip of her hair, ignored them for the rest of
the class.

Derek had made lunch as usual for them, which

they enjoyed in their own protective bubble as the
everyday chaos of high school went on around
them. Derek was defending the virtues of Batman
to her when Darin plopped down next to them.

“Hey, lovebirds.” She snatched an apple slice

from Jesse’s plate, smiling at them while she
crunched. Jesse flushed red at the comment looking
at Derek with a sheepish grin.

Darin looked over at Jesse completely ignoring

Derek. “I called Charlotte. We are scheduled to go
shopping this weekend for your prom dress. You
know we only have a week till D-day? You know,
Charlotte was so happy you were going to the prom
I think she started crying. She is primed and ready
to go,” she finished.

Jesse sat there trying to process what Darin had

said. She hadn’t thought about shopping for a dress
or anything else since she agreed to go to the prom
with Derek. She had barely said yes the night
before. She looked at Derek accusingly.

“Hey, I didn’t tell her,” he said, glaring at his

sister.

“Oh, please! I saw you floating up the stairs

last night. I just put two and two together.” She
smirked. “Anyway, I will see you this weekend,”
she added as the bell rang, signaling the end of their
peaceful lunch.

Jesse walked back to her locker in silence

absorbing the thought of the shopping ordeal that
awaited her.

“I think I just got ambushed. How am I

supposed to get out of this? She’s your sister. Do
something,” she pleaded.

“I can’t deny you did get ambushed, but that’s

how Darin works. There is no way to get out of
this. Once she has her mind set on something, it’s a
done deal.” He leaned next to her locker as she got
her books for her next class. “Just think how happy
you’re making Charlotte. Don’t worry about it,
Charlotte wouldn’t do anything she didn’t want to
do, right?”

“Yeah, I guess so,” she said as she picked

through her locker.

“Well, then just enjoy yourself. Either way

you’re going to be spectacular.” He bent to kiss her
forehead.

As usual, a blush crept up her face when he

gave her a compliment, but there was no way she
could argue with him when he looked at her with
such love in his eyes. She shrugged her shoulders in
defeat as the last tardy bell rang.

~ ~ ~

Jesse walked into the bookstore with her ears

ringing from the goodbye kiss Derek had given her
as he dropped her off for work. She didn’t have her
senses together enough to deflect Charlotte’s
screech of joy as she grabbed Jesse’s hands to spin
her around.

“Honey Pie! I am so happy for you. Prom!

How exciting!” She clapped her hands together. “I
have the stores all mapped out for the weekend. I
know we will find something for you, but I want
you to keep an open mind. I know how you can be
about shopping. You can’t just grab the first thing
and be satisfied. You have to feel the dress and I
don’t mean with your hands.”

Jesse couldn’t get a word in edgewise.

Charlotte was like a runaway train. There was no
stopping her gushing about the details of shopping
for the perfect prom dress.

“But Charlotte,” she said.
“No, don’t you but me, Jesse, I want to do this

not only for you, but for me too,” she pleaded.
“That probably sounds a little weird, but I don’t
have a girl to shop for and, whether you like or not,
you’re my girl.”

How do I argue with that? she thought. She

looked into Charlotte’s teary eyes and figured she
could swallow her pride this once and work a lot of
unscheduled overtime. Charlotte wouldn’t have to

know. That was Jesse’s way of paying her back.

“Okay, I understand, and I will try and feel the

dress.” She grinned.

“Thank you, thank you, honey, I promise we

will have fun,” as she twirled to head to the
backroom.

Chapter 31

The weekend arrived before she knew it.

Charlotte had Florence work for Jesse in the
bookstore so they could hit the mall on Saturday.
Jesse assumed they would be going to the local
mall, but as they merged onto the freeway she
knew this shopping trip was way beyond anything
she had imagined. The mall in Portland was already
crowded with typical weekend traffic. It was huge
compared to what they had at home. It was
anchored by two large department stores at
opposite ends with a myriad of stores in between
that ranged from trendy to bizarre. The automatic
glass doors slid open silently. Jesse felt like she was
entering a cathedral, especially when she caught
the look of awe on Darin’s face. It was glowing
with anticipation, which gave Jesse a ball of fear in
the pit of her stomach. What have I gotten myself
into?

The smells from the food court blew around her

with soft fingers luring her to their various counters.
The cinnamon rolls beckoned like a lost love while
the firm grip of Chinese food yanked her like a
puppet on a string.

“Jesse, don’t start thinking about food. I can’t

believe I’m saying that,” Charlotte mused. “We’re
on a mission, ladies. We will be rewarded for our
success after we accomplish our goal.”

Charlotte could put a marine drill sergeant to

shame with that tone. Jesse knew they were
definitely not messing around today. They walked
into the first two stores and instantly walked out.
Jesse didn’t even get a chance to look before Darin
declared the store worthless from her practiced eye.
They browsed four smaller stores and decided to hit
the main department store for its larger selection.
Jesse stood motionless in the smaller stores as
Charlotte and Darin rummaged through racks. Jesse
saw dresses with ruffles, sequins, and feathers to
her horror. Relief swam through her as they
marched down to the main department store.

They rode the escalators to the second floor

which housed Misses, Juniors, and Women’s Wear.
The floor was decorated with mannequins in
various poses highlighting handbags with smart pant
suits or flower-patterned dresses draped with
chunky gold necklaces. Darin and Charlotte knew
which direction to go the minute they were off the
escalator. Jesse assumed it was some sort of homing
device for such seasoned shoppers.

“We have hit pay dirt,” Charlotte announced.

The far corner of the store was dedicated to prom
dresses. Colors were in every hue of the rainbow. It
made Jesse’s stomach hurt at the thought of all

those choices. What if they make me try them on?
Maybe I can pick one just to get in and out of here
quickly, she fervently prayed.

“Okay, here’s the game plan,” Darin said

gleefully. I will take Jesse to get set up in a dressing
room and, Charlotte, you start scouring. I’ll be right
behind you. I just want to make sure our victim
stays put.”

“Darin, I really think I can find something

quicker if I’m out here to help,” Jesse replied.

“Uh-huh, and do you have something in mind?”

Darin stood there tapping her fingers on her crossed
arms waiting for a response from Jesse. “Yeah, I
didn’t think so.”

Darin turned to Charlotte to discuss options as

if Jesse were a child who couldn’t dress herself.
Okay, so maybe I don’t know the first thing about
colors and styles, but I could have figured it out in
a couple of years, Jesse thought as Darin grabbed
her arm and dragged her to the fitting rooms.

“Okay Jess, strip and wait here. We will be

back in five minutes with some dresses. Don’t look
horrified. It’s not like I’m asking you to walk
around the store that way,” she said as she shoved
her into one of the larger rooms.

“You know, I’m not an idiot. I just don’t like

the idea of standing around in my underwear,” she
huffed.

“Oh, you’ll get over it once you see how

beautiful you’ll be,” Darin smiled. She gave Jesse a
quick hug and ran out. Jesse could hear her telling
Charlotte to stay away from pastels and stick with
bold jewel tones. Jesse sat putting her head in her
hands. I’ll never survive, she thought.

Within ten minutes they had six dresses for her

to try on. The minute she put one of them on it was
quickly discarded. The red one was too trampy. The
white one made her look like a ghost. The green
one too shiny, and on and on it went for the next
two hours. Jesse had just taken off the last of the
full lengths when Darin came in yelling.

“I found it, I found it! It’s perfect!” She was

waving a dress like a victory flag as she rushed into
the dressing room.

“Charlotte, we have to get out so we get the

full effect when she comes out,” she exclaimed as
she steered Charlotte out.

“Okay honey, settle down. I didn’t even get a

chance to see it,” Charlotte laughed.

Jesse took the dress and put it on without even

thinking. When she looked up into the mirror she
understood what Charlotte meant about having a
feeling for a dress. It was midnight blue satin. It
came to just above her knees and had a slight flair
at the bottom. The top was a V-neck with
rhinestone straps that crisscrossed in the back and
left her back exposed down to almost her waist. It
accented curves she never knew she had. She

turned in the mirror to get a better look at the back.
Okay, so her butt didn’t look a mile wide; that was
a plus. Now the real test was to go out and see what
the experts had to say. She stepped out into the
hallway where Charlotte and Darin stood holding a
pair of strappy heels with rhinestones on the toe
strap.

“Here, put these on,” Darin said as she bent to

help Jesse into the heels.

She looked at herself in the mirror down the

hall and was amazed at the sight. The butterflies
were going crazy with nerves. She turned to look at
Charlotte and Darin hoping for their approval.
Charlotte stood dabbing her eyes with a tissue and
Darin had a smile as big as the Grand Canyon.

“So, I guess this is the dress, huh?” Jesse turned

toward the mirror to smooth the front of the skirt.

They finished the day getting accessories,

which was a whole other level of stress. Darin was
in charge of makeup and hair and had everything
planned. They rewarded themselves with Chinese
food, which they ate with ravenous appreciation.
They started back home close to the end of the day
filled with contentment. Jesse was asleep in the
backseat when Charlotte pulled up in front of
Darin’s to drop her off. Derek came bounding out
the front door when he saw the car from the
window.

“Hey, how was the shopping?” he said.

“Shopping was successful, my dear brother.

Unfortunately, we did have a casualty. Jesse just
doesn’t have the shopping stamina as us veterans.
Right, Charlotte?”

“I’m afraid so, we plum tuckered-out this girl.

She’s been asleep in the back the whole drive
home,” she said.

Derek crouched down to peer into the back of

Charlotte’s car. She lowered the back window so he
could get a better view of her. He leaned in to
softly stroke her hair as he gave her a kiss on the
brow.

“Are you going to take her home, Charlotte, or

to your house?” he asked.

“I’m taking her to my house. It’s Saturday

night, it’s best she stay with me. She is just going to
have to wake up when we get there because Jeremy
is not home to carry her like he normally does. It’s
so rare she gets a decent night’s sleep, he hates
waking her up, so he just carts her around,” she
laughed.

“Can I come with you? I will take her in for

you.”

“Sure, you can have dinner and movie night

with us. I know she’ll like that after the long day
we’ve had,” she said as she put the car in gear.

Derek stood up and turned to his sister. “Darin,

please tell Mom I will be at the Birch’s tonight and
I’ll walk home.”

He hopped in Charlotte’s car for the short drive

around the corner. Charlotte did not pull into the
garage but opted for the driveway so Derek could
easily maneuver through the front door with Jesse
in his arms. She unlocked the door and waited to
direct him to Jesse’s room. He gently lifted her
from the backseat and kicked the door shut with his
foot. Her head laid on his shoulder as her arms
hung limp. She is completely passed out, he thought
as he climbed the front porch.

“You can take her straight back to her room to

lay her down,” Charlotte pointed.

“If it’s okay with you, I would like to keep her

with me on the couch. I can watch a game while
she sleeps. I doubt it will bother her,” he whispered
above her head.

Charlotte smiled at him with such love. This

boy just loves her, she thought. It made her heart
sing. “Sure, you can keep her with you, hon. I’ll get
dinner started. You can just go on back to the den
and flip on whatever you like.”

Derek carried Jesse to the den and sat her on

his lap. He laid her back against a pillow as he
eased her onto the couch. He grabbed the remote as
he lay behind her to further cushion her. She
instinctively curled her body to his with her head
on his shoulder while her hand rested against his
heart and slept peacefully for another hour.

Jesse was disoriented when she woke. The last

thing she remembered was the gratitude of finally
being back in the car to rest her aching feet. She
could hear the heartbeat before anything else
registered in her head. She felt its beat strong under
her hand, and the smell of him gave her that rush
which came from knowing she was with Derek. She
leaned back to look up at his perfectly sculpted
face.

“Hey there, sleepyhead,” he said quietly as he

leaned down to press a whisper soft kiss to her lips.

“Hey yourself,” she smiled. No other thought

was in her head, only the fact that she was there
with Derek. She laid her hand against his face to
study those hazel eyes. Her heart was so full she
couldn’t help but pour it out into a kiss. She hadn’t
realized how much she had missed him throughout
the day. She pressed her body against his with her
need of being near him. He slid his hand to the
small of her back in response to her urgent kiss. Her
hands moved from his hair back to his face in order
to get her breath back. He kissed her one more time
before he laid his brow against hers.

“I really missed you,” she said.
“If I get more of those kinds of kisses I’m going

to have you go shopping every day,” he laughed.

It finally dawned on her that she had no idea

where she was or what time it was or why was he
here with her. She looked around and realized she
was at Charlotte’s home. Okay, question one

answered.

“How did I get in here and why are you here?”

she asked, puzzled.

“First, I carried you in here and second,

Charlotte invited me for dinner and movie night
with you guys. She made the unilateral decision
that you would be staying here tonight.”

“Oh. Well, I guess that works for me. I’m just

happy you’re here,” she murmured as she nuzzled
his neck with kisses.

Jesse could hear Charlotte rustling in the

kitchen. Dinner should be done soon, she thought.
As if on cue, Charlotte called out that dinner was
ready and for them to wash up.

“I guess we better go wash up,” Derek

snickered.

They talked about their day shopping except

they did not tell Derek anything about the dress.
Charlotte was insistent on that fact, which
perplexed Jesse. She had no idea why she couldn’t
tell him what the dress looked like.

“Honey pie, it’s called the element of surprise.

You want to blow his eyeballs out of his sockets
when he sees you. Right, Derek?”

“Um . . . I guess,” he stammered.
“Good answer, son,” Russ piped up.
After dinner was finished and dishes were

cleaned up they watched the classic Raiders of the
Lost Ark, which had action for the guys and

Harrison Ford for the girls. Halfway through the
movie Russ and Charlotte went to bed, which left
Derek and Jess to enjoy their alone time. As the
movie ended Jesse sat up and stretched after being
curled with Derek.

“I always love this movie, it’s so exciting.” She

sighed as she turned to look at Derek. He sat up,
running his fingers through her hair to straighten the
tangles. He leaned in close skimming his lips up
from her neck to her jaw line.

“I liked it too, especially the part where you

kept me warm,” he murmured as he continued to
kiss her neck. She smiled, enjoying Derek’s tender
kisses. She was glad Charlotte and Russ had gone
to bed, so she could enjoy being a normal girl with
her boyfriend.

Jesse noticed the questioning look in his eyes as

he raised his head. Her stomach tightened in
anticipation. Having to answer questions was
always dicey. “Is this the only time you get to relax,
when you’re here?”

She hesitated as she looked away to focus on a

non-existent spot on the couch. “Yeah, pretty
much. She doesn’t know where Charlotte lives, so I
know I’m safe here.” Jesse knew he would
understand the “she” was referring to her mother
because it was hard to refer her as a parent or even
by name.

He grabbed her hand pulling her focus back up

to his face. “You know, you’re so amazing.” He
lifted her hand to kiss her palm. Jesse could only to
blush profusely at his words. “Come walk me out,”
he said as he stood, their hands still entwined. They
walked out to the porch staring at the empty street
with its black antique lights burning. The lights cast
a hazy glow as they burned through the slight fog
that had settled on the street.

“This is the part of the movie I hate,” he said as

he turned to gather her in his arms. Jesse looked up
at him confused. “What do you mean? The movie
is over.”

“That’s it, it’s over, and I have to go home now

and leave you. So I guess I’d better make the best
of it by giving you a goodnight kiss.”

She slid her arms up his back under his jacket

as he pulled her close. His lips were soft and warm
compared to the cold air that swirled around them.
He kissed her long and deep. She never wanted it to
end, but he stopped with three short kisses and his
normal kiss to her brow.

“I hope that can last you until tomorrow,” he

whispered against her hair.

She still had her arms around him and had

burrowed into his jacket for comfort. She kept her
head tucked on his shoulder. They just stood arms
wrapped around each other in the silence of the
night. She reached up on her toes and kissed him
softly on his cheek.

“I guess that’s going to hold us both,” she

replied.

Chapter 32

The rest of the week was a blur with the rapidly

approaching prom on Saturday. Every lunch hour
Darin came over with some random fashion
magazine and forced Jesse to look at hairstyles.
Darin was on a mission to fully represent the Black
& Diamond theme of the prom. She had visions of
1940’s style and elegance with its classic black-tie
tuxes with perfectly coiffed up-do’s. Jesse couldn’t
tell what style she would or would not like. She
never put much thought into her hair other than to
wash it and put it up. Darin even took her to some
salon after school to have her hair clipped and
shaped, whatever that meant. Then came the
various shades of lipstick Darin would pull out of
her cavernous bag. She wasn’t sure how much
more she would have to endure for this prom-either
way it was all overwhelming. Jesse tried to go with
the flow, but her flow had never included hair and
makeup ideas. She tried to focus on how happy
Derek had been that she was participating in the
prom preparations. He told her that she deserved to
have a special prom, like all the other girls, so her
anxiety would have to take a back seat.

Friday night came and the hope of a quiet

evening for them at Charlotte’s now included Darin
and Jeremy. Jeremy was home from school and
Darin was going to spend the night at Charlotte’s so
they could start preparing for the prom first thing in
the morning.

Claire Aames was okay with the arrangements,

since it was Jesse’s first formal. Darin was so
excited at the opportunity to do Jesse’s makeover
she would put the Energizer Bunny to shame. Plus,
all the kids would go over to the Aames’ for
photographs before they left for the prom.

Darin was going to the prom with Dale Scott,

Derek’s best friend. He was the complete opposite
of Darin’s exuberant personality. Dale walked the
hallways with a quiet, introspective look on his face
which made you wonder what was running through
his mind. His clear green eyes would light up when
he saw Darin, but Darin would walk by only to
ruffle his dark oak brown hair in a friendly gesture.
The expression on his face always hoped for more
than just the friendly gesture.

All the last-minute running around and

strategizing had taken its toll; both girls were tired
once movie time rolled around. Darin told Jesse
she’d planned an early night for them anyway. She
was determined not to have to cover up bags under
Jesse’s eyes. Derek and Jesse curled up on the now-
familiar couch. Jesse’s eyes started to droop the
minute she was snuggled in Derek’s arms. He was

her safe haven for sleeping, but she wasn’t the only
one falling asleep. The week’s excitement and
preparations had finally caught up with Darin as
well. She had ended up curled against Jeremy on
the other couch. Jeremy draped an afghan over her
that had been on the back from the couch.

Derek looked over at Jeremy noticing his

ambivalent expression.

“Sorry about my sister crashing on you.” He

nodded toward the sleeping Darin.

“It’s okay. I’m used to it with Jesse.”
“So, what are we supposed to do with them?”

he asked Jeremy.

Jeremy shrugged his shoulders as he started

flipping channels. He landed on a basketball game
and settled in to watch while the girls slept
soundlessly. Derek watched Jeremy out of the
corner of his eye, debating on whether or not to ask
his question. “Why do you think girls just up and
fall asleep on us?”

Jeremy looked down at Darin and then

answered simply, “trust.”

“What? I don’t get it.”
“They trust us enough to fall asleep because

they know we will take care of them, like protect
them. Get it? And don’t tell me you don’t feel more
manly with a nice female curled up on your chest.”
He grinned at Derek.

“Yeah, you’re right about that,” he grinned

back. Happy to realize he had made some ground
on earning Jesse’s trust. “But what do we do now?
No matter how much I want to stay like this all
night somehow I think Charlotte will object.”

“Did I just hear my name,” Charlotte chirped

as she walked into the room wiping her hands on a
dish towel.

She fondly gazed down at the girls with her

hand on her hips. “Well don’t that beat all? Just
look at them all tuckered out. I have to admit I’m
pretty tired myself from all the shopping
excitement. And don’t they just look like sweet
angels, just sleeping away.”

Jeremy knew not to interrupt his mother little

speech before asking for help.

“Yeah, sweet angels Mom, but what are we

supposed to do with them?” he asked in
exasperation.

“Well, I guess you boys will just have to carry

them to the room. Just let me turn down the bed
and put on a low light for you. You can carry them,
right?” she teased playfully.

Jeremy rolled his eyes at his mother, “Please,”

he said sarcastically. “It wouldn’t be the first time.”

Charlotte hurried down the hallway to get the

bed ready for the girls.

“If you want, Jeremy, I can come back for

Darin. I’m used to carrying her butt to bed. She
usually falls asleep on the couch at home and she

sleeps like the dead, obviously,” he said nodding
her direction.

“No big deal, man. She probably weighs

nothing, like Jesse.”

They both shifted the girls to a semi upright

position with their heads balanced on their
shoulders. They lifted them at the same time with
Jeremy leading the way. Darin curled into Jeremy
as he entered the cold room. As he bent to lay her
down she reached up and kissed his cheek.

“Night, love you,” she murmured.
Jeremy looked at Derek with a puzzled

expression. Derek had just laid Jesse down softly
kissing her cheek. He laughed silently at Jeremy’s
expression.

“She probably thinks it’s me. Just kiss her and

say the same thing. She’ll never know the
difference.” He laughed.

“Are you sure?” Jeremy asked.
“Yeah, if you don’t, she’ll wake up. Darin is all

about routine. We’ve been doing this since we were
kids.”

Jeremy did as he was told and kissed Darin on

the cheek and said the magic words to keep her
asleep. She snuggled down into the covers and was
breathing evenly in sleep. Jeremy shrugged his
shoulders, “Huh, it worked,” he murmured.

“See, I told you so. Anyway, I guess I will see

you tomorrow when I come to get Jesse. And

thanks again for hauling my sister,” Derek said as
he walked out of the room to the front door.

“Like I said, no problem, man. Just remember

when you take Jesse out tomorrow to watch out for
her, if you know what I mean,” he said as he
clapped a companionable hand on Derek’s
shoulder. Derek knew what he meant and took the
warning in stride because he had the same
discussion with Dale about his own sister.

“No problem, man,” he replied.

Chapter 33

Sunlight speared through a crack in the window

blinds directly into Jesse’s eyes. She moaned and
rolled away from the light in the hopes of going
back to sleep. She received a jab to the ribs for her
efforts.

“No you don’t, sleepyhead. We have a long

day planned,” Darin said.

Jesse rolled over trying to clear her vision.

Darin was propped up hugging a pillow to her
chest. Her hair had small tangles at the ends, but
that was the only evidence that she had been
asleep.

“Um, Jess, how did we get into bed? Because I

don’t remember coming in here. In fact, the last
thing I remember is watching a movie on the couch
with Jeremy.” Jesse sat up and looked around the
room, scratching her head in an attempt to rack her
brain.

“I honestly don’t know, but we can ask

Charlotte while we eat because I’m starving.” She
threw the covers off as she hopped out of bed and
headed for the kitchen. Her hair was a mass of wild
waves, but neither girl cared about her looks at that
particular moment.

As they walked into the kitchen Jesse headed

for the bowls and cereal. Freshly brewed coffee
filled the kitchen with its rich dark scent. Charlotte
was already at the table enjoying a mug of coffee
with half a grapefruit and bagel.

“Morning girls, how did you sleep?” Charlotte

asked from behind her morning paper.

“Pretty good,” Jesse replied as she poured

cereal for their breakfast.

The minute they were seated, Darin started

questioning Jesse about how they had gotten to
bed.

“See, this is the deal. I feel this sense of déjà vu

or something. I could have sworn that Derek gave
me my nightly kiss and I love you.”

“You guys have a good-night ritual?” Jesse

grinned.

Darin blushed to her ears as she concentrated

intently on her cereal, her spoon clanking at the
bottom of the bowl loudly. “Okay, yes we do, so
what?”

“Nothing. I just think it’s really cute,” Jesse

said.

“Moving on. I’m telling you someone kissed

me and did our routine,” Darin huffed.

Jeremy stumbled in shirtless in his shorts with

tufts of hair sticking out in every direction. He
headed on autopilot to grab his coffee, eyes bleary
with sleep. He sat at the table and started eating

Jesse’s cereal once he had his first hit of caffeine.

“Hey, get your own, you pig,” she said.
“Jeremy, do not eat her food. And put a shirt

on when you’re at the table. How many times have
I told you? Nobody wants to see you half naked,”
Charlotte exclaimed.

“Mom, no one cares, and plus it’s just them,”

he said waving the spoon in the direction of the
girls. Jeremy was well-muscled with a broad chest.
Jesse noticed Darin’s furtive glances and the
attempt she made to ignore Jeremy’s chest. It made
Jesse wonder if something might be there. Charlotte
gave her son one last withering glance before she
continued.

“Well I have an explanation for part of that

mystery; Derek and Jeremy put you girls to bed,”
she replied.

“Oh. That explains my good-night routine.”

Darin sighed in relief.

“No it doesn’t, because Jeremy carried you to

bed, my dear,” Charlotte piped up.

Darin’s face blanched as she looked at Jeremy

for confirmation. “You took me to bed?” she
whispered to him. He stopped eating long enough to
quirk his eyebrow up at her statement. Realizing
what she said Darin blushed from head to toe, “I
mean . . . what I was saying . . . oh you know what
I meant,” she stumbled. “I’m sure Derek said good
night to me even if you put me in bed,” she said

more confidently.

“Nope,” he said as he resumed consumption of

Jesse’s cereal.

“You mean you did the routine?” she choked.
“Yep. He told me to do it so you would stay

asleep. It was weird that it actually worked,” he
said as he got up and walked out of the room.

Darin looked at Jesse and Charlotte in shock.

“I’m mortified,” she whispered, laying her head in
her hands.

The rest of the day was a blur to Jesse. They

had to go to a beauty supply store to get larger hot
rollers because Darin got the wrong ones. They
found a nice rhinestone hairclip to accent Jesse’s
hair so it was a win-win trip. The minute they got
back, Charlotte’s home turned into a frenzied
beauty salon. Soon, the girls were flower scented
and sparkled from their showers. Darin had given
herself a pedicure as Jesse showered. The minute
Jesse was out, Darin pounced on her and gave her a
French manicure and pedicure. It was a serious task
considering Jesse hated people fussing with her and
was hardly cooperative.

“Is this necessary? I doubt anyone is going to

be looking at my toes,” she huffed.

Jesse cringed inwardly as she heard the attitude

in her voice. It was also apparent Darin was done
with the attitude by the scowl that graced her face.

“Jess, what’s going on?” Darin asked. Jesse

squirmed in her chair avoiding Darin’s all-too-
knowing gaze. “Spill it, or I will do worse to you
then just your hair and makeup.”

Jesse sighed as she steeled herself for the truth,

“I just don’t want to deal with the looks and
whispers I’m going to get.”

“Of course, they’re going to look at you.

You’re gorgeous! They’re all petty and stupid.
Besides, the only person you need to worry about is
Derek. Plus, you know I have your back, girl. I will
make their lives miserable.” She smiled. Jesse
couldn’t help but grin at Darin’s bravado. It must be
nice to have such confidence, she thought.

“I know you’re right, but it’s hard to let go of

the fact that people only think of me as the trash
that lives in the trailer park.”

Darin grabbed her hands hard to get her full

attention. “I don’t want you to ever refer to
yourself as trash and if people at school do say
things then they are the ones that are trashy. Derek
loves you with all his heart, and from what I’ve
seen, the whole Birch family loves you as one of
their own. You need to stop and be kind to my
friend Jesse,” she said as she patted her hands. “Do
we have a deal?”

“Yeah, I’ll try and let it go.” Jesse smiled.
They were back to the task at hand when

Charlotte came into the room with her arms loaded
with an arsenal of beauty equipment and products.

Charlotte was working the hair dryer like the most
veteran of beauticians. The room smelled of nail
polish, hair products, and flowers. Charlotte was in
heaven getting to finally play dress up.

“Honey pie, they won’t be able to help

themselves looking at you from head to toe. Derek
will drink you in like a tall glass of sweet tea,” she
said as she bustled around the room.

Charlotte got the hot rollers in Jesse’s hair and

was getting the dresses laid out. Darin finished up
her makeup and started on Jesse’s as she sat
waiting for her nails to dry.

“You’re going to love this lipstick, Jess. It

doesn’t come off if you eat or drink . . . or even kiss
someone,” she added slyly.

“You mean I have to worry about whether my

lipstick comes off? I think I need to take notes.”
Jesse searched for a pen and paper.

“Okay, enough. I get it. I know I get a little

crazy. Thanks for putting up with all this already. So
do you want to see how it works?” She bounced.
Darin applied her pink lipstick, calling for Jeremy.
“I’m going to get him back for last night.”

Jeremy walked in and started laughing at

Jesse’s hair rollers. “You look like something from
another planet.”

Darin stopped him mid laugh as she walked up

and planted a big kiss on his lips. “See? I told you
nothing comes off!” She grinned over her shoulder.

He was instantly silenced with a dumbfounded

expression on his face. “What was that for?” he
huffed.

“I had to test this lipstick for Jess, silly, you

were my guinea pig.” She smiled sweetly.

Jeremy turned around and stomped out the

door without another word. Darin watched his
retreating back with her hands clasped together in a
prayer. She turned around with a huge devilish
smile on her face.

“I guess he didn’t like the experiment, but

personally I felt it to be a smashing success. C’mon,
let’s finish getting you ready, we don’t have much
time left.”

Jesse had just finished putting on her shoes as

she wondered how she was going to walk all night
in these contraptions. She had to admit though they
did make her legs look great. Darin had worked
miracles with the makeup. The dark blue and plum
eye shadows really made her blue eyes stand out
against her perfectly sculpted plum colored lips.
Her hair fell in soft waves arranged with the sides
pulled back and fastened with the rhinestone clip. It
gave her neck a long, graceful swanlike look. Darin
looked like a blond Audrey Hepburn who’d stepped
out of the Breakfast at Tiffany’s movie. Her full-
length, sleeveless white dress hugged her every
curve of her body. Her long black gloves added to
her natural sophistication. The small rhinestone

choker she’d chosen gave her the additional subtle
glamour. Her hair was coiffed to a simple French
twist with rhinestone clips added for full sparkle.
Jesse and Darin fully represented the Black &
Diamond theme of the prom.

The doorbell rang at precisely six o’clock. Dale

and Derek pulled up at the same time. Dale was in
his dad’s Mercedes, while Derek had his dad’s Jag.
They both looked dashing in their traditional black
tuxedos, like something from a 1940’s movie.

Jeremy opened the door and gave a low

whistle. “Well, don’t you guys clean up nicely? You
guys have no idea what you’re in for. Come in to
the executioner’s chambers, boys,” he laughed.

Jesse and Darin were waiting in the den while

Charlotte got the camera ready as the boys came
into the room.

Jesse was so anxious. What if he didn’t like the

way she looked? She was so far out of her comfort
zone she thought for sure she was going to
hyperventilate. As that last thought left her brain
Derek walked in. Something seemed to be wrong as
Jesse watched him exhale loudly. He just stood
rooted

the

spot,

seemingly

paralyzed.

Apparently, Dale was stuck in the same situation.

Jesse worried her fears were coming true

because Derek hadn’t spoken or moved since he
walked into the room. She looked at Darin in
confusion hoping for an explanation. Darin leaned

over and whispered, “Score,” with a huge smile on
her face.

“Okay girls, go stand next to the boys so I can

get some pictures. I’m sure the Aames’ are waiting
anxiously.”

They walked over to the boys: Darin

confidently, Jesse cautiously. She stood next to
Derek and looked up worriedly at him to make sure
he was okay. Maybe he was sick or something. She
lightly touched his arm. “Are you okay?” she
whispered.

He touched her cheek tenderly, “You’re

incredible.”

“Okay kids, smile for the camera,” Charlotte

prompted with rapid clicks of her camera.

Derek never took his eyes off Jesse, nor did she

take her eyes off him.

The scene at the Aames’ house was similar.

Claire oohed and aahed over the girls and sent
them off with happy tears glistening in her eyes.

Derek had his hand on the small of Jesse’s bare

back as he opened the car door for her.

“Did I tell you that I really love this dress?” He

closed her door, running around to the driver’s side.
He climbed in just as Jesse was buckling her
seatbelt.

“Let me do that for you.” He leaned over close

to her bare shoulder to finish clicking the seat belt.
She smelled of a meadow of wild flowers after a

spring rain, her scent. He held her chin in his palm
and then slowly ran his hand down her shoulder to
her arm.

“I really want to kiss you, but I’m afraid I

won’t stop if I do and my parents are watching us.”
He laughed.

They drove off in the direction of the only

hotel in town large enough to house a prom. Derek
was holding her hand as he kept darting his eyes
over to look at her. The silence was starting to
become uncomfortable for Jesse.

“I felt like I was a car getting an overhaul.

Darin and Charlotte were all over me with tools of
torture. You should have seen the pots of paint and
brushes, not to mention this whole get-up they
strapped me in. You should see what I have on
underneath this dress. I mean, seriously, what’s the
point? There is hardly any material.” She blushed
scarlet as she realized what she had said in her
rambling. She held her breath and looked at Derek
out of the corner of her eye. He had let go of her
hand to grip the steering wheel with both hands
causing his knuckles to turn white with strain. He
appeared to be holding his breath as well, which he
suddenly let it out in a whoosh.

“I assume you’re trying to kill me,” he groaned.
“Sorry. Too much information.” She cringed.
“I just don’t know how I’m supposed to look at

you now without trying to picture what you have

on underneath.” He laughed.

“Sorry again.” She laughed as well.

Chapter 34

They pulled up to the hotel parking lot in a

matter of minutes. It didn’t boast valet parking, but
it was big enough to have bellboys in the lobby. The
hotel walkway was lined with white fairy lights,
adding an ethereal element to the gardens that
surrounded the hotel. The lobby had large palms
artfully arranged at each of the entranceways.
There was a small bar area on the far right that was
lined with a smattering of customers watching a
sporting event. The lounge had low-backed chairs
arranged around small circular tables, providing
intimacy for a shared drink. The bar had dimmed
lighting which added a warm glow over the entire
lounge area.

There was a sign pointing them in the direction

of the banquet rooms announcing the “Black &
Diamonds Parkhaven High School Prom.” A
registration table to the left of the double doors was
manned by some of the prom committee. Jesse
stood off to the side as Derek walked up to retrieve
their tickets and picture packet selections. She
watched as groups of girls came in laughing and
squealing at each other’s dresses. She was starting
to feel self-conscious again waiting for Derek. Her

usual reaction to a crowd was to fade into a corner,
but there was no corner in the hallway.

Derek returned with the tickets and tucked her

hand through his arm to steer her to the picture line.

“Let’s get our photo done before it gets too

crowded.”

She was dreading this part, the pictures. Her

fear of scrutiny was palatable, but Derek was so
happy that she told herself she was going to be as
accommodating

for

him

possible.

The

photograph area was located at the back of the
room and already a small line had formed. The
backdrop was a night scene with bright stars dotting
an indigo sky. The line moved faster than Jesse
expected, giving her hardly any time to psych
herself up for it, but the minute she faced Derek, all
worries left her mind. The photographer positioned
her hands as if they were dancing with one hand on
his shoulder and the other on his arm. Derek pulled
her close so his chin almost rested against her
forehead. The picture went off with a bright flash
and was over in a heartbeat.

“You guys look really good together. By far the

best shot of the night,” the photographer
commented.

Derek mumbled his thanks as they walked off

to find Darin. The rest of the room was a vision of a
nightclub scene from the 1940’s. The tables were
decorated with hurricane lamps tied with black bow

ties and surrounded by baby white tea roses. The
white tablecloths were scattered with plastic
diamonds that glittered in the light from the
chandeliers. The DJ had his sound system next to
the dance floor under a black and white balloon
arch. The buffet table was lined against the wall
opposite the doors with a long line already snaking
around the dance floor.

Derek and Jesse spotted Darin at a back table.

She was already surrounded by people, holding
court like a queen. Darin’s personality was
magnetic; people couldn’t help but want to be near
her.

“Hey guys, I hope you saved us seats,” Derek

said as he looked at Darin.

“Of course,” she gestured to the seats next to

her and Dale.

They stood around talking with the other

basketball players and everyone else in the school it
seemed to Jesse. She pasted a smile on and tried to
act engaged, but her nerves were causing a tight
ball of anxiety in the pit of her stomach. Everyone
included her in the conversations as if they had
been old friends for years. Obviously a benefit, or
punishment, of being Derek’s date, she mused. As
the conversations flowed around her like a rushing
river, her attention was drawn to the doors. Her
tension shot through the roof when Missy and
Bryce walked in.

Missy stood there in her siren red dress with

lips slicked to match. She gazed around the room
like she was expecting the paparazzi to swarm her
for pictures. She had her hand on her hip and the
other looped through Bryce’s arm. Jesse thought
that Bryce looked as fake as a plastic doll with his
too wide grin as he stood next to Missy. It was at
that moment Missy spotted her and Derek. She
sauntered over making sure all eyes followed her
across the room. Darin leaned over to whisper in
Jesse’s ear.

“Looks like the barracuda has set her sights

and is coming in for the kill. It also looks like that
dress is two sizes too small,” she hissed.

“Hi, people,” Missy said in a shrill voice.

“Doesn’t everything look just great?” She scanned
the group before fixing her gaze on Jesse.

“Wow, Jesse, you look fabulous, surprisingly,”

Missy squealed, giving her the once over with a
quick eye roll. She glided over to stand next to
Derek possessively. She pressed her body into his
side. “Save me a dance for old time’s sake,” she
purred as she ran her hand up and down his arm
seductively, which did not go unnoticed by Jesse.

“Yeah sure,” he mumbled, not wanting to cause

a scene.

Missy sashayed away with Bryce trailing

behind like an obedient lap dog. The minute Missy
was far enough away, she turned to Bryce,

“Remember the plan. I’m not going to let Derek
think he can just throw me away. I’m going to make
Jesse Barnes regret she could ever think she could
replace me,” she hissed in his ear.

“I know what to do, Missy.” He squirmed.
Nobody had said a word the whole time Missy

was in their presence. Darin was the first to break
the silence the minute she was out of earshot.

“She cannot be serious. I wanted to slap that

stupid grin off her veneered teeth. Jesse, you look
fabulous, surprisingly.” Darin mocked Missy’s
voice. “How dare she? That skank,” she said.

“It’s okay, Darin,” Jesse soothed.
“No, it is NOT okay. You are so much better

than her, and I hope you didn’t let her get to you.”

Jesse looked over at Missy and then up at

Derek. Missy had gotten to her; she was nowhere
near Missy’s league. How could she compete with
that? She was the girl from the trailer park with a
drunk for a mother. She felt there was always a
layer of shame painted on her. She always felt
unworthy of love, especially from someone like
Derek.

Derek looked as if he could see the wheels

turning in her head. Jesse squirmed under his
knowing gaze. He could read her so well. His eyes
glittered with anger, or maybe regret, either way it
suggested he was pissed. Jesse assumed it was
directed at her because Missy had made a scene.

This is the fallout of being with Jesse Barnes, she
thought.

Derek squeezed her hand before he walked

over to the DJ. She could see him asking him
something then the DJ gave him a thumbs-up.
Derek turned to walk back across the floor quickly.

“I have a request for classic slow dance song,”

the DJ announced.

The sound of Sting’s “When We Dance” filled

the room, and the dance floor started to fill with
swaying bodies.

Derek grabbed Jesse by the hand and

wordlessly pulled her onto the dance floor.
Although he held her close she felt his body’s
tension. As if he sensed her own tension he gentled
his grip, running his hands up and down her back.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered against her ear.
Jesse knew he was mad at her when she saw

the set of his furrowed brow as they headed to the
dance floor. She hated that she allowed her shame
to take over her emotions. She could never be
Missy James. It was just a fact that was never going
to change and no matter how much Derek
reassured her she couldn’t believe in herself.

“Listen to the words of this song, Jess. I picked

it out for you.”

The song was beautiful. It spoke of love and

commitment, everything she thought impossible in
her world. She believed in Derek enough to give

her heart wholly to him even though her mind just
couldn’t wrap around the fact that he loved her; it
just didn’t make sense. She was always waiting for
Derek to wake up and realize the mistake he had
made by being with her. The song ended and
another slow one started up, but before Jesse could
even take a breath, Missy swooped in for her
dance.

“You mind if we cut in?” She motioned to

herself and Bryce. She pushed Jesse into Bryce as
she slid into Derek’s arms. Bryce swung Jesse
around until he’d danced her around to the opposite
side of the room. Jesse could see Missy clinging to
Derek making her intentions perfectly clear.

“Do you like the prom so far?” Bryce asked

her.

“Yeah, it’s been nice.”
“That’s good. Hey, I’m really glad we had this

opportunity alone. I want to apologize for how I’ve
acted. I know I can be a jerk and thought we could
start over. Now that you and Derek are through, I
thought maybe we could hang out.”

Her head whipped up in confusion to look at

him. “What do you mean?” she stammered.

“Derek told me at practice that he wanted to

get back with Missy, but felt he had to take you to
prom since he asked you. He was hoping he could
break it off after the prom. I figured he already told
you, so I thought maybe I could take you home.”

The air around her became so thick she

couldn’t breathe. She turned to look at Derek and
Missy kissing on the dance floor. Her heart was
hammering against her chest trying to break free,
screaming in pain. She couldn’t fall apart here, she
had to hold it together long enough to get out.

“Thanks. Um . . . I need to go to the

bathroom,” she was barely able to mumble. She
broke away from Bryce but refused to run. She
would walk out of there discreetly. She didn’t want
to draw any attention to herself. She snatched her
purse from the table and headed straight out of the
hotel. The air was cool against her hot flushed face.
The tears were flowing freely now; she couldn’t
stop them. The only thought in her head was to get
away. She had always been fast at escaping, not
that Derek would even notice that she was gone.
He really made her believe she was the most
important part of his life. She felt like she had
finally found something real, something and
someone that she could trust. How could she
survive this unbearable pain in her chest? It was
agony! She felt like she was dying, as her whole
being had shattered into a million pieces of glass.

Her mind was reeling, no coherent thought

would form as she just kept walking. She wasn’t
sure how she made it to the trailer and really didn’t
care. She didn’t check the time or realize that Roy’s
truck was parked on the side of the trailer. She

went in with mascara trailing down her face to find
her mom and Roy sitting on the couch.

Chapter 35

Derek tried to dislodge Missy from his lips. She

stuck to him like super glue. He pushed her away
with as much strength he could use without
knocking her down.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” he

yelled, wiping her lipstick off with the back of his
hand.

“I thought I would show you what you’ve been

missing. You can stop playing around with Jesse
Barnes now. You should be with me. I’ve let you
slum long enough. I know you can’t be serious
about her when you can have me.” She took two
steps up to him to encircle him in her perfumed
grip.

“You are out of your mind, Missy. I love Jesse,

period. I could never be with someone like you, so
don’t ever come near me again, you psycho.”

He whipped around searching frantically for

Jesse. He spotted Bryce sitting at a table putting
moves on another girl. He stormed over to grab him
by the jacket, hauling him to his feet.

“Where’s Jesse?” he seethed.
“Hey man, back off!” Bryce pushed Derek

away.

“Damn it, Bryce, where is she?”
“Missy said you guys were getting back

together, so I told her. It worked out really well
when she saw you lip locked with Missy.” He
sneered.

Derek punched him straight in the nose,

breaking it instantly. Bryce’s head snapped back as
the force launched him onto the table behind him.
Derek looked down at him as the blood poured out
of Bryce’s nose.

“I’ll deal with you later. This isn’t finished,” he

said quietly. Bryce’s eyes went wide with fear.
Derek had no time to find Darin to explain. He
knew Jesse would’ve bolted as he fished his keys
out of his pocket. Derek ran out of the hotel
looking up and down the street as he headed for his
car. He whipped the car out of the parking lot and
headed toward the lake, hoping she would be at one
of her many spots of solitude. He tried the cell
phone he’d given her, but there was no answer. He
punched in Jeremy’s number as he blasted down
the highway.

“Jeremy, its Derek. There was a problem at the

prom with Bryce and Missy. I’ll explain later, but
Jesse took off. I’m checking for her at the lake. Can
you check the bookstore? I doubt she would go
home, she knows it’s Saturday night. Yeah, I’ll call
you if I find her first, thanks,” he said as he
disconnected his phone, throwing it in the console.

~ ~ ~

Jesse was in such emotional turmoil she

couldn’t think fast enough to deal with Roy. She
hadn’t considered that they would be there; her
only thought had been to get her stuff and leave.
Her mother was snoring softly on the couch while
Roy slouched, sipping his beer. The scarred coffee
table was littered with beer cans, which was a bad
sign. He leered at her through his drunken haze.

“Well, don’t you look like the Queen of Sheba,

but it looks like your prince dumped you off,” he
laughed.

“Go to hell, Roy,” she muttered as she headed

for her room.

She didn’t even see him move as she walked

by. His hand snaked out to grab her wrist to jerk her
back to him.

“Who do you think you are, little girl, talking to

me like that?” His breath reeked of beer and
cigarettes as bile rose in her throat. The anger was
hot on her tongue as she unleashed its full force on
the piece of filth that had the nerve to touch her.

“I know I’m not some idiot drunk wasting my

life on the couch,” she snarled.

He let go of her long enough to backhand her

across the face to send her flying against the coffee
table. The pain was sharp like an ice pick into her
cheek as she hit the table. Her eye felt like it had
exploded in her head, but she didn’t have much

time to consider the pain.

The sound of her crashing into the coffee table

woke her mother from her alcohol-induced nap.
Sheila tried to focus on the scene as she tried to
shake the cobwebs that addled her brain.

“What the hell is going on?” she yelled.
“Your daughter needs to learn some respect,”

he replied.

“Well, I’m not sticking around to get busted by

the cops.” She grabbed her purse off the floor and
started for the door. She turned to look at Jesse one
last time as she lay on the floor.

“I knew your mouth would get you in trouble.

You’re on your own from now on,” she slurred as
the screen door slammed shut.

Jesse had a heartbeat to process that her

mother had left her to suffer an unspeakable fate.
Roy grabbed her arms and hauled her to her feet.
She grabbed a heavy glass ashtray from the coffee
table, hurling it at his head. It grazed his temple,
causing a trickle of blood to ooze from his hairline.
He slapped her again across the face, splitting her
lip open and leaving a trail of her blood and spittle
on the wall behind the couch. She fell into the
coffee table again, hitting her head, causing her to
see stars and become disoriented.

She tried to get up, but before she could react,

he repeatedly kicked her under her rib cage with his
steel toed construction boots. The pain seared

through her side as she tried to take a breath in
between blows. She felt her stomach lurch with air
only to vomit blood.

“Now I’m gonna teach you a lesson, you little

bitch.” He straddled her legs as he began
unbuckling his belt and pants. She had no strength
to fight him off as she prayed for the darkness that
was already creeping into her vision.

Derek slammed into him like a freight train. He

was wild with rage as he saw Roy straddling Jesse
with his buckle undone. He knew what Roy
intended to do to her. He saw nothing but red as his
fists pummeled Roy’s face. He had every intention
of killing him with his bare hands until Jeremy
pulled him off.

“Derek, stop! He’s done, man.”
Derek’s chest was heaving with exertion. He

stumbled over to Jesse dropping to his knees in
anguish.

“Oh, my God. Look at all this blood. Jesse,

baby, can you hear me?” he pleaded.

“The cops and an ambulance are on their way.

Call your dad. Have him meet us at the hospital,”
Jeremy barked.

Sirens stopped abruptly in front of the trailer.

The cops were first through the door with the
medics on their heels. Jeremy gave them the details
as they arrested Roy. The medics tried to move
Derek, but he wouldn’t let go of Jesse’s hand. He

kept his hand on the weak pulse in her wrist to give
him some comfort that she was still alive. She
started to revive as the medics shined bright lights
into her eyes. One eye was already starting to swell.
The pain in her ribs was excruciating. The medics
were asking her questions, but she couldn’t focus
on anything but the pain.

“Jesse, I’m here, baby. I’m not leaving you,”

Derek urged.

Derek’s voice came from the reverberating

canyon inside her head. Every sound echoed,
causing nausea to plague her stomach. Why is
Derek here? Jesse felt she must be hallucinating.
He was with Missy. He didn’t want her. She just
wanted to go away and find some peace.

Jeremy leaned down to Jesse as she started to

struggle against the medics. “Jess, you have to let
them help you. I’m right here with you.”

“Jeremy, I’m so tired. Just tell them to let me

go. I just want to go away. I hear Derek’s voice,
and it hurts me,” she slurred.

“You’re not going anywhere except to the

hospital, you hear me?” Jeremy pleaded.

As they loaded her on the gurney, she faded

into unconsciousness. Derek called his dad as he
climbed into the back of the ambulance with Jesse.
The conversation was brief as he handed the phone
to the medic who relayed the vitals.

They made the ride to the hospital in record

time. Dr. Aames was at the entrance as they
wheeled her into Emergency. Jesse regained
consciousness seeing bright lights whizzing by as
they took her to an exam room. She felt the
pressure of someone holding her hand and assumed
it was Jeremy. She wished everyone would just
leave her alone. She didn’t care what happened to
her anymore. She was so exhausted she didn’t feel
like she could go on. She was tired of trying to fight
against her life. She could hear nurses scrambling
around for equipment to hook her up to. The sheet
they draped over her was so cold. Quick,
competent hands began removing her dress, all the
while murmuring reassurances to her.

Derek sucked in his breath as he saw the

mottled purple bruises all over her body. The
monitor was beeping steadily, several IV’s were
hung as his dad began examining her.

“Derek, you need to leave,” he said curtly.
“No, I’m not leaving her.”
“You can’t help her, son. I need to work and I

can’t with you here.”

“I can’t leave her, Dad. Please.”
He turned to look as his son. Pain clearly

etched in his eyes that so mirrored his own.

“Okay, son, but I think her spleen is ruptured.

She’s going to need surgery immediately. She’s
bleeding into her belly.”

Jesse stirred with the voice of Dr. Aames. She

tried to focus as his face rose above her.

“Jesse, can you hear me? It’s Dr. Aames.

Curtis,” he called as he brushed her hair from her
face.

She blinked twice and saw Derek’s eyes. She

had trusted those eyes and they had crushed her
heart. She wanted to turn away in shame. “Please,
just let me go. It will be easier for everyone. I don’t
want to hurt anymore.”

“They arrested Roy honey, he won’t ever hurt

you again,” he soothed.

“Not him . . . Derek. He hurt me. I can’t be

fixed, you see. Please just let me go,” she
whispered as she faded out again.

Dr. Aames looked at Derek questioningly, “We

will talk later,” he said as they wheeled Jesse to
surgery.

Derek walked into the waiting room to find the

whole Birch family there. Charlotte’s head snapped
up the minute she saw Derek. Russ had his arm
around her to comfort her while Jeremy paced in
anger and frustration. Charlotte rushed to him with
abject fear on her tear-stained cheeks.

“Is she all right? When can we see her?” she

pleaded.

“She’s going into surgery. Dad thinks her

spleen is ruptured. It will be a few hours before we
know more.”

Russ and Jeremy stood next to Charlotte to

support her already weak knees. “Oh Russ, nothing
can happen to that girl. She’s my child. My girl,”
she sobbed.

“She’ll be all right. Dr. Aames is the best,”

Russ soothed as he edged her down into a chair.

Jeremy looked at Derek’s white face and knew

he was only holding it together by a shoe string.

“C’mon Derek, let’s take a walk. You can tell

me everything that happened while we get Mom
some tea,” he said as he led Derek out of the room.

They walked outside to the hospital garden as

Derek relayed the whole story. They stood next to a
small pond with several shades of koi fish. Derek
sank to a cement bench, dropping his head in his
hands in anguish.

“I want to kill Missy, Bryce, and Roy. If they

hadn’t done this, she would be fine. She would be
at your house now. She would have never gone
back home.”

“I think at some point I might want to get a

hold of them myself, but we can’t change what
happened. We have to focus our energies on her
recovering, but I’m worried she won’t want to
recover.” Jeremy voiced his worst fear.

“I just have to explain what happened. She

should have trusted me. She knows how much I
love her,” Derek said as he got up to pace.

“Derek, part of her knows that, but the other

part doesn’t trust anyone fully. She’s always

expecting disappointment from people. She has
never known unconditional love or felt secure. We
tell her how special she is, but she doesn’t get it.
She expects us to go away the minute we figure out
what she is. I don’t know how many times she’s
told me that and I don’t know how many times I’ve
told her she’s wrong. Don’t you see? She never
expected you to care about her, all she was waiting
was for you to disappoint her.”

Chapter 36

The hours ticked by so slowly that Derek

thought he would go mad. He sat in the waiting
room with the Birches, gripping the Coke he had
been nursing for the better part of the last hour.

Dr. Aames came in the room in sweat-stained

scrubs, fatigue lining his face. They all stood the
moment he entered.

“She’s okay,” he said immediately. A huge sigh

of relief filled the room. “She’s in recovery. You
can each go in and see her for a just a minute. She
will be out of it for the rest of the night. I doubt she
will wake up until late tomorrow. I suggest you all
go home and get some sleep.”

“I’m staying with her,” Derek replied in

defiance.

“No, Derek, you’re exhausted,” his father’s

tone indicated there was no arguing. He looked at
his son’s face as his heart softened.

“I promise she’s going to be all right. I will stay

here with her. I won’t leave her,” he promised as he
placed his big hand on his son’s shoulder. Derek
looked at his dad in resignation. He knew she
would be fine with him watching over her, but he
also knew he wouldn’t rest well until he saw her

awake.

Derek was the last to go in to see her. The

Birches left with hugs of gratitude to Dr. Aames.
Charlotte was heartbroken at the sight of Jesse’s
face, but she bent down to gently kiss her forehead.
She whispered to her in the hopes she could hear
her that they would be there when she woke up.
She squeezed Derek’s arm in comfort as they left.

Derek quietly went into the darkened room.

The antiseptic smell burned into his mind that this
was a reality that he so desperately wanted to
escape. Jesse looked pale and bruised against the
stark hospital bed with her dark mahogany hair
fanning her pillow. A machine beeped in a steady
rhythm as it monitored her heart rate. He reached
down to grasp her hand gingerly. She was so still
and cold He just wanted to gather her in his arms
and hold her until she opened her eyes. He sat
down on the chair still clutching her hand. He laid
her hand against his cheek while the tears he’d held
back slid silently down his face.

“Jess, I’m so sorry. Please just wake up,” he

sobbed.

She didn’t move. Her breathing was steady and

that had to be comfort enough for him for now. He
sat until his dad ordered him home. Claire came in
to gather her son in comfort as she led him from the
room.

Chapter 37

The beeping of the heart monitor brought Jesse

back from the deep recesses of her sleep. She
wasn’t sure if she should feel grateful for the noise
that indicated she was alive. The pain was a dull
throb throughout her body and the fear of more
pain kept her from moving in the bed. The vision of
Roy standing over her came back in flashes.
Flashbacks of the beating were surfacing, causing
her monitor to beep as her heart rate accelerated.
Her memory of things after that was sketchy. Vague
flashes of getting to the hospital, Dr. Aames
standing over her, then nothing.

Jeremy stirred in his chair as the monitor woke

him from his twilight sleep. He had come back at
the wee hours of the morning. He couldn’t stand
the thought of her awakening alone in the room
even if Dr. Aames was in the hospital. He rose to
walk closer to the bed to find Jesse’s eyes open and
wild.

“Hey squirt, you’re okay,” he soothed as he

brushed her hair gently from her face. He pulled the
chair closer so he could sit without letting go of her
hand.

“Are you in pain? I can give you a hit.” He

grinned.

Her throat was so dry she felt she had

swallowed the entire Sahara Desert. She had
enough left to squeak out, “Water.”

“Oh yeah, wait a sec.” He scrambled to fill a

small plastic cup near the sink. It took another
couple of seconds for him to locate the flexible
straw in one of the overhead cabinets. He eased the
straw near her lips for a quick sip.

“Thanks,” she smiled. She was so relieved he

was there with her. He would be the only person
who could bring her some comfort.

“Do you think you can sit me up a little?” she

whispered. He pushed the button the side of the
bed, so the bed tilted up to a more upright position.
She grimaced as the bed moved but breathed
through the pain once the bed came to a stop. “So
how bad am I?”

Jeremy set the cup aside as he tried to keep his

voice upbeat. “Well, you look about the same
except with some extra coloring.” He squeezed her
hand as he couldn’t maintain the humor underneath
the anger that threatened to spew.

“Your spleen ruptured. They had to remove it,”

he said it quickly like ripping off a band aid.

“So I guess that’s bad. I’m sorry Jeremy, you

should be home not here. I’m okay. You can go.”
She wanted to be left alone with her shame. She
didn’t want her disgusting life to touch anyone she

cared about. Normal girls had nice homes with
normal parents. She was in the hospital because her
mother’s boyfriend beat her and almost raped her.
It can’t get any fouler than that, she thought.

She saw his anger spring to life as he paced in

an attempt to control it. He fisted his hands at his
sides as he walked over to sit again. He looked at
her with eyes that burned with such intensity it
scared her for a moment. He leaned his head
against the bed as his breathing became erratic as if
he were in pain.

“You just don’t get it.” Jeremy’s voice hitched.

“I thought we lost you. I saw you lying there in
your own blood and felt so helpless. All I could
think was my sister is going to die. I was just
watching you slip away.” He couldn’t say anything
else his voice was shaking so badly.

She knew he cared for her but the depth

humbled her to silence. She stroked his head in an
effort to give him some comfort. He lifted his head
to press her palm to his stubbly face.

“Jess, I love you so much,” he stammered.
The love, given so honestly from this man who

was her friend, her brother, rocked her to the core.
It took considerable effort, but she rose up enough
to kiss him on his head, then cheek.

“I love you too, Jeremy,” she whispered.
He laughed as he tried to pull himself together.

He kissed her palm before releasing her hand to

look at her.

“Aren’t we a pair? Hey, do you think you want

to eat?”

“I think I would like some more water.” She

smiled.

He had just finished helping her drink when

Charlotte and Russ came through the door. The
minute Charlotte saw Jesse was up and awake she
burst into tears as she rushed to the bed to gather
her close.

“Oh baby, I was so scared. I couldn’t think. I

couldn’t breathe. I was out of my mind with
worry,” she cried.

Jesse rubbed her hand in small circles hoping to

soothe her. “I’m okay now.” She hesitated for a
moment knowing what she needed to do. “I love
you, Charlotte.”

Charlotte pulled back as she held Jesse’s hand.

The tears flowing unabashedly. “Oh baby, I love
you! I hope you know I always will,” she cried.

Russ and Jeremy just stood there feeling

uncomfortable with all of the tears flowing from the
women they loved. Russ not so subtly cleared his
throat in the attempt to lighten the mood.

“Well, look at us blubbering all over the place.”

Charlotte laughed. “Russ, why don’t you tell our
girl the good news you have.”

Russ pulled some papers out of his jacket

pocket with a flourish as a grin spread across his

face. “Well, Jesse my dear, you are looking at your
new parents. We spoke to a social worker at length
last night and with child services being
overwhelmed they were more than willing to allow
us to have custody. It doesn’t hurt that I’m a lawyer
in a small town, so I had the judge sign emergency
guardianship papers this morning. Granted, I had to
track him down at the golf course, but it was well
worth it.”

He handed the papers to her as she saw the line

stating that full custody had been awarded to Russ
and Charlotte Birch. Tears flooded her eyes again
as she choked out her question, “But what about
Sheila? She told me she would make trouble for you
if you interfered.”

Russ sat down next to Charlotte on the bed to

grasp Jesse’s hand. “Is that why you never wanted
our help? Because you thought Sheila would hurt
us?”

“Yes, I didn’t want to burden you,” she replied.

Russ just shook his head at this revelation. If only
they had pushed her harder none of this would’ve
happened!

“Your mother was arrested for negligence last

night, and she can’t do anything to us, trust me.
Jess, I knew they would place you in foster care
until your 18

birthday. We weren’t going to let that

happen. The judge was more than happy to give
you to us. Plus, he owed me a favor.” He laughed.

Jesse had no words, all she could do was smile

in gratitude. “I have a family now?” she cried.

“You always did, squirt,” Jeremy said.
Dr. Aames came in to find the group huddled

on Jesse’s bed with smiles that could brighten the
dark side of the moon.

“Well, I see our favorite patient is up and

looking incredible,” said.

Jesse didn’t know what to say. She was grateful

to him, but he was Derek’s father and seeing him
was painful. He came over to check her stitches,
check her vitals, and listen to her lungs.

“You’re doing beautifully. Unfortunately, you

will probably be the guest of the hospital for the
better part of a week, maybe two. If I can spring
you any sooner I will, but you have to follow
orders, clear?”

Jesse hated the fact that she might have to stay

there for so long, but she would be a stellar patient
in hopes for early release. “I understand,” she
replied as she avoided looking at him directly.

“I think I will order you a light meal now to see

how you do with that. Derek should be here any
minute to enjoy it with you.” He smiled.

Jesse eyes whipped to Jeremy. She hadn’t had a

chance to tell him what happened at the prom, but
they had an unspoken language. He shrugged his
shoulders, putting her on the spot.

“Dr. Aames, I am grateful for everything you

did for me and I mean no disrespect, but I don’t
want Derek here.” Jesse responded.

“I know something happened at the prom,” Dr.

Aames said, “Derek hasn’t told me anything, so I’m
a little confused, but if that is want you want, I will
keep him home.” Jesse breathed a sigh of relief.
She wasn’t ready to deal with that pain.

Chapter 38

The hospital stay seemed never ending. On the

day she was finally discharged, Jesse was ecstatic
to go home to Charlotte’s. She had put Roy and her
mom completely out of her mind. She knew she
would never have to see them again. She was
finally free. Unfortunately, the rest of her time lying
around a hospital bed gave her time to think of
Derek. She knew it was pointless to replay the
prom in her head. That just brought on pain, not
only physically, but emotionally. This would not
help her recover. She needed to focus on her future,
which was now wide open with possibilities. But
her inner voice wished it included Derek. She
missed the way he looked at her or how he would
sling his arm around her to tuck her close to his
body. She shook herself; it was time to put those
memories away.

The week since her release was the most

peaceful Jesse had ever experienced. Jeremy had
cleaned her things out of the trailer and her room at
Charlotte’s was filled with her lovely books. She
watched movies, read, and slept more than she
could ever remember. She was getting around more
easily each day without losing her breath. She

wandered out to sit in the backyard with a beloved
book when Jeremy came out.

He noted the bruises were fading from the

purple red to a sickly yellow. Her face was at ease
without the lines of tension she normally wore.

“Hey, my little gargoyle, do you want

something to drink?” he teased.

“No, I’m good. It’s so nice to be out in the

sun,” she breathed.

He had been avoiding the subject of Derek

since her release because the one time he brought it
up she got really upset. She had been so happy
since she got home he didn’t want to do anything to
compromise her recovery, but it was time she did
finally deal with her feelings for Derek. “Jess, you
got some flowers from Derek, and he called again.”

She stiffened at the mention of his name but

tried to act nonchalant by keeping her face to the
sun. “Fine. Thanks.”

“Jess, you know I support you 100%, but are

you sure you got the full story? He comes by every
night to see you. He wouldn’t leave your side the
whole time you were out of it at the hospital. He’s
devastated and not talking to him is not really being
fair.” Jeremy knew it wasn’t his place to tell
Derek’s story, he didn’t want to get in the middle,
but he didn’t mind leaving the door open
figuratively and literally.

She turned to look at Jeremy with the hurt she

was hoping would go away with time. Maybe this
pain is something she would carry with her forever,
like the scar from the surgery.

“I saw him kissing Missy James. He was mad at

me for not being like Missy. I could see it on his
face. I didn’t need Bryce to tell me he wanted
Missy. He made a choice, Jeremy. I’m just
respecting it. I don’t want to have the ‘let’s be
friends’ conversation,” she finished.

“It seems to me that you’re making a lot of

assumptions. Are you sure he was kissing her? Are
you sure he would want you to be someone other
than who you are? You need to trust your heart,
Jesse, and his. I think his actions have spoken for
themselves. Plus, why would you believe even one
thing Bryce would say?” Jeremy huffed. “All I’m
saying is, use that smart brain of yours and think.”

She thought about what he said as they sat

quietly in the sun. Is it possible she had made a
mistake? She didn’t know what to believe. She had
taken a leap of faith with the Birches’ love. Why
couldn’t she do the same with Derek?

“I’m not saying that you’re right, but maybe I

will have to think about it awhile,” she mused as
Jeremy got up to leave.

“Well, if you think hard enough, I’m sure the

right answer will appear right in front of you,” he
laughed as he strode back into the house.

She sat for a moment longer as the sun warmed

her skin. She missed Derek terribly. His woodsy
smell, his mischievous smile right before kissed her,
his warm soft lips. If Jeremy was right, how could
he forgive her for not trusting him? She rose to go
inside when she sensed movement by the back
gate. She hadn’t even heard the gate latch, she had
been so absorbed in her thoughts. Derek stood
there with his hands thrust in his jeans pockets
looking at her with trepidation. He walked slowly
toward her taking every step as if it were his last
one. He finally came to a stop right in front of her.

“Jeremy said you were back here,” he stated.
She looked at him wanting to touch every angle

of his face, his lips. “I was out here thinking of you
and here you are,” she said in wonder as she
gripped her hands together.

“Jesse, I have been out of my mind. I wanted

to explain what happened at prom, but everyone
said it was better if I left you alone. My dad has
practically tied me to the house to keep me away
from you.”

He noticed that the air had cooled considerably

and took off his jacket to drape it over her
shoulders. “I figured you might be cold.” The warm
jacket enveloped her in his scent.

It was then she knew the truth. How could she

have ever doubted his love? He had always told her
the truth with his eyes and heart. She laid her hand
against his chest and felt his heartbeat thudding

under her hand.

“You didn’t kiss Missy and you don’t want

her,” she stated with certainty.

His breath came out in a whoosh, “No, I didn’t,

and God, no. Why would I want her when I have
everything with you?” He placed his hand on her
cheek to rub his thumb over her lips. “I’ve missed
you so much. I was so worried about you. I
couldn’t get that image of you, bloody on the floor,
out of my head. I haven’t slept in weeks,” he
choked, revealing the extent of his own turmoil.

“Jeremy told me how you got to Roy before he

got to me. Thank you.”

He stiffened at the thought as he looked over

the top of her head. “I wish I would’ve gotten there
sooner.”

“We can’t change what happened. All we can

do is move on,” she replied.

“Are we going to move on then, Jess?” he

asked quietly.

She looked into to his hopeful eyes to give him

what they both deserved. “We are going to move
on, but we will be going together,” she finished.

The light returned to his eyes as his lips curved

into a smile as he leaned down to kiss her in the
fading sunlight.

Epilogue

Four Years Later

Jesse watched the guests milling about

Charlotte’s backyard. She had been trying to sneak
a peek at Derek all morning.

“What are you doing at the window,” Darin

chastised. “It’s bad luck for the bride to see the
groom before the wedding.”

Jesse laughed, “I think you have that

backwards.”

“It doesn’t matter, it still works. Now get over

here and let me finish putting the flowers in your
hair.”

Jesse sat down to let Darin finish her fussing as

she thought about the road that brought her to this
point in her life. Sheila hadn’t done as much time in
jail as Jesse had hoped, but Jesse had an active
restraining order against her. Sheila decided it was
best to leave the state once she had been released.
Jesse had finally realized that she had been loved
all along. She had never really been alone, she’d
only needed to reach out. Yes, she would have a
few scars from her life, but now she understood
they were signs of survival.

Derek had proposed to her on their last day of

college. He had been accepted at Georgetown’s
University School of Medicine. Their honeymoon
would be a cross country drive to Washington D.C.
in Derek’s fully-loaded truck. Jesse decided she
would get a Master of Fine Arts while he finished
medical school. She wasn’t sure poetry was her
path anymore. Journalism had sparked her interest
and being in the capital of the country could give
her some exciting experience.

“Okay, It’s time to get this show on the road.”

Darin handed over her bouquet. Jesse took one last
glance in the mirror with a huge smile on her face.
“Finally,” she said.

Russ walked Jesse down the aisle to a beaming

Derek. Jeremy was his best man and had escorted
Darin, her maid of honor, down the aisle. All the
people she loved were waiting for her with much
anticipation. As the minister pronounced them man
and wife, Derek leaned down to kiss his bride to
loud cheers of congratulations.

“Are you ready for our next adventure, Mrs.

Aames?” He smiled as he held her close.

“Absolutely, Mr. Aames.” She laughed.

Document Outline

SEEKING PERFECT
Acknowledgements
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Chapter 29
Chapter 30
Chapter 31
Chapter 32
Chapter 33
Chapter 34
Chapter 35
Chapter 36
Chapter 37
Chapter 38
Epilogue

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Document Outline