Dearest creature in creation,
Study English pronunciation.
I will teach you in my verse
Sounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse.
I will keep you, Suzy, busy,
Make your head with heat grow dizzy.
Tear in eye, your dress will tear.
So shall I! Oh hear my prayer.
Just compare heart, beard, and heard,
Dies and diet, lord and word,
Sword and sward, retain and Britain.
(Mind the latter, how it’s written.)
Now I surely will not plague you
With such words as plaque and ague.
But be careful how you speak:
Say break and steak, but bleak and streak;
Cloven, oven, how and low,
Script, receipt, show, poem, and toe.
Hear me say, devoid of trickery,
Daughter, laughter, and Terpsichore,
Typhoid, measles, topsails, aisles,
Exiles, similes, and reviles;
Scholar, vicar, and cigar,
Solar, mica, war and far;
One, anemone, Balmoral,
Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel;
Gertrude, German, wind and mind,
Scene, Melpomene, mankind.
Billet does not rhyme with ballet,
Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet.
Blood and !ood are not like food,
Nor is mould like should and would.
Viscous, viscount, load and broad,
Toward, to forward, to reward.
And your pronunciation’s OK
When you correctly say croquet,
Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve,
Friend and "end, alive and live.
Ivy, privy, famous; clamour
And enamour rhyme with hammer.
River, rival, tomb, bomb, comb,
Doll and roll and some and home.
Stranger does not rhyme with anger,
Neither does devour with clangour.
Souls but foul, haunt but aunt,
Font, front, wont, want, grand, and grant,
Shoes, goes, does. Now "rst say "nger,
And then singer, ginger, linger,
Real, zeal, mauve, gauze, gouge and gauge,
Marriage, foliage, mirage, and age.
Query does not rhyme with very,
Nor does fury sound like bury.
Dost, lost, post and doth, cloth, loth.
Job, nob, bosom, transom, oath.
Though the di#erences seem little,
We say actual but victual.

ˈdɪərɪst ˈkriːtʃə ɪn kriːˈeɪʃ(ə)n
ˈstʌdi ˈɪŋglɪʃ prənʌnsɪˈeɪʃ(ə)n
ʌɪ wɪl tiːtʃ juː ɪn mʌɪ vəːs
saʊnd lʌɪk kɔːps kɔː hɔːs ənd wəːs
ʌɪ wɪl kiːp juː n/a ˈbɪzi
meɪk jɔː hɛd wɪð hiːt grəʊ ˈdɪzi
tɛː ɪn ʌɪ jɔː drɛs wɪl tɛː
səʊ ʃal ʌɪ! əʊ hɪə mʌɪ prɛː
dʒʌst kəmˈpɛː hɑːt bɪəd ənd həːd
dʌɪ ənd ˈdʌɪət lɔːd ənd wəːd
sɔːd ənd swɔːd rɪˈteɪn ənd ˈbrɪt(ə)n
mʌɪnd ðə ˈlatə haʊ ɪts ˈrɪtn
naʊ ʌɪ ˈʃʊəli wɪl nɒt pleɪg juː
wɪð sʌtʃ az plak ənd ˈeɪgjuː
bʌt biː ˈkɛːfʊl haʊ juː spiːk
seɪ breɪk ənd steɪk bʌt bliːk ənd striːk
ˈkləʊv(ə)n ˈʌv(ə)n haʊ ənd ləʊ
skrɪpt rɪˈsiːt ʃəʊ ˈpəʊɪm ənd təʊ
hɪə miː seɪ dɪˈvɔɪd ɒv ˈtrɪk(ə)ri
ˈdɔːtə ˈlɑːftə ənd təːpˈsɪkəri
ˈtʌɪfɔɪd ˈmiːz(ə)lz ˈtɒpseɪl ʌɪls
ˈɛksʌɪls ˈsɪmɪli ənd rɪˈvʌɪls
ˈskɒlə ˈvɪkə ənd sɪˈgɑː
ˈsəʊlə ˈmʌɪkə wɔː ənd fɑː
wʌn əˈnɛməni balˈmɒr(ə)l
ˈkɪtʃɪn ˈlʌɪk(ə)n/ˈlɪtʃ(ə)n ˈlɔːndri ˈlɒr(ə)l
n/a ˈdʒəːmən wɪnd ənd mʌɪnd
siːn mɛlˈpɒmɪni manˈkʌɪnd
ˈbɪlɪt dʌz nɒt rʌɪm wɪð ˈbaleɪ
bʊˈkeɪ ˈwɒlɪt ˈmalɪt ˈʃaleɪ
blʌd ənd !ʌd ɑː nɒt lʌɪk fuːd
nɔː, nə ɪz məʊld lʌɪk ʃʊd ənd wʊd
ˈvɪskəs ˈvʌɪkaʊnt ləʊd ənd brɔːd
təˈwɔːd tʊ ˈfɔːwəd tʊ rɪˈwɔːd
ənd jɔː prənʌnsɪˈeɪʃ(ə)ns əʊˈkeɪ
wɛn juː kəˈrɛk(t)li seɪ ˈkrəʊkeɪ
ˈraʊndɪd wuːndɪd griːv ənd sɪv
frɛnd ənd "ːnd əˈlʌɪv ənd lɪv
ˈʌɪvi ˈprɪvi ˈfeɪməs ˈklamə
ənd ɪˈnamə rʌɪm wɪð ˈhamə
ˈrɪvə ˈrʌɪv(ə)l tuːm bɒm kəʊm
dɒl ənd rəʊl ənd sʌm ənd həʊm
ˈstreɪn(d)ʒə dʌz nɒt rʌɪm wɪð ˈaŋgə
ˈnʌɪðə dʌz dɪˈvaʊə wɪð ˈklaŋgə
səʊls bʌt faʊl hɔːnt bʌt ɑːnt
fɒnt frʌnt wəʊnt wɒnt grand ənd grɑːnt
ʃuːs ɡəʊz dʌz naʊ fəːst seɪ ˈfɪŋgə
ənd ðɛn ˈsɪŋə(r) ˈdʒɪndʒə ˈlɪŋgə
riːl ziːl məʊv gɔːz gaʊdʒ ənd geɪdʒ
ˈmarɪdʒ ˈfəʊlɪɪdʒ ˈmɪrɑːʒ ənd eɪdʒ
ˈkwɪəri dʌz nɒt rʌɪm wɪð ˈvɛri
nɔː dʌz ˈfjʊəri saʊnd lʌɪk ˈbɛri
dʌst lɒst pəʊst ənd dʌθ klɒθ ləʊθ
dʒəʊb nɒb ˈbʊz(ə)m ˈtrans(ə)m əʊθ
ðəʊ ðə ˈdɪf(ə)r(ə)nss siːm ˈlɪt(ə)l
wiː seɪ ˈaktʃʊəl bʌt ˈvɪt(ə)l

Refer does not rhyme with deafer.
Foe#er does, and zephyr, heifer.
Mint, pint, senate and sedate;
Dull, bull, and George ate late.
Scenic, Arabic, Paci"c,
Science, conscience, scienti"c.
Liberty, library, heave and heaven,
Rachel, ache, moustache, eleven.
We say hallowed, but allowed,
People, leopard, towed, but vowed.
Mark the di#erences, moreover,
Between mover, cover, clover;
Leeches, breeches, wise, precise,
Chalice, but police and lice;
Camel, constable, unstable,
Principle, disciple, label.
Petal, panel, and canal,
Wait, surprise, plait, promise, pal.
Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair,
Senator, spectator, mayor.
Tour, but our and succour, four.
Gas, alas, and Arkansas.
Sea, idea, Korea, area,
Psalm, Maria, but malaria.
Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean.
Doctrine, turpentine, marine.
Compare alien with Italian,
Dandelion and battalion.
Sally with ally, yea, ye,
Eye, I, ay, aye, whey, and key.
Say aver, but ever, fever,
Neither, leisure, skein, deceiver.
Heron, granary, canary.
Crevice and device and aerie.
Face, but preface, not e#ace.
Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass.
Large, but target, gin, give, verging,
Ought, out, joust and scour, scourging.
Ear, but earn and wear and tear
Do not rhyme with here but ere.
Seven is right, but so is even,
Hyphen, roughen, nephew Stephen,
Monkey, donkey, Turk and jerk,
Ask, grasp, wasp, and cork and work.
Pronunciation (think of Psyche!)
Is a paling stout and spikey?
Won’t it make you lose your wits,
Writing groats and saying grits?
It’s a dark abyss or tunnel:
Strewn with stones, stowed, solace, gunwale,
Islington and Isle of Wight,
Housewife, verdict and indict.
Finally, which rhymes with enough,
Though, through, plough, or dough, or cough?
Hiccough has the sound of cup.
My advice is to give up!!!

English Pronunciation by G. Nolst Trenité
20111220b TvW, British pronunciation in IPA

rɪˈfəː dʌz nɒt rʌɪm wɪð dɛfə
n/a dʌz ənd ˈzɛfə ˈhɛfə
mɪnt pʌɪnt ˈsɛnɪt ənd sɪˈdeɪt
dʌl bʊl ənd dʒɔːdʒ ɛt leɪt
ˈsiːnɪk ˈarəbɪk pəˈsɪfɪk
ˈsʌɪəns ˈkɒnʃ(ə)ns sʌɪənˈtɪfɪk
ˈlɪbəti ˈlʌɪbrəri hiːv ənd ˈhɛv(ə)n
n/a eɪk məˈstɑːʃ ɪˈlɛv(ə)n
wiː seɪ ˈhaləʊd bʌt əˈlaʊd
ˈpiːp(ə)l ˈlɛpəd təʊd bʌt vaʊd
mɑːk ðə ˈdɪf(ə)r(ə)nsəs mɔːrˈəʊvə
bɪˈtwiːn ˈmuːvə ˈkʌvə ˈkləʊvə
liːtʃɪz ˈbrɪtʃɪz briːtʃɪz wʌɪz prɪˈsʌɪs
ˈtʃalɪs bʌt pəˈliːs ənd lʌɪs
ˈkam(ə)l ˈkʌnstəb(ə)l ʌnˈsteɪb(ə)l
ˈprɪnsɪp(ə)l dɪˈsʌɪp(ə)l ˈleɪb(ə)l
ˈpɛt(ə)l ˈpan(ə)l ənd kəˈnal
weɪt səˈprʌɪz plat ˈprɒmɪs pal
wəːm ənd stɔːm ʃeɪz ˈkeɪɒs tʃɛː
ˈsɛnətə spɛkˈteɪtə mɛː
tʊə bʌt aʊə ənd ˈsʌkə fɔː
gas əˈlas ənd ˈɑːkənsɔː
siː ʌɪˈdɪə kəˈrɪə ˈɛːrɪə
sɑːm ˈmarɪə bʌt məˈlɛːrɪə
juːθ saʊθ ˈsʌð(ə)n klɛnz ənd kliːn
ˈdɒktrɪn ˈtəːp(ə)ntʌɪn məˈriːn
kəmˈpɛː ˈeɪlɪən wɪð ɪˈtaljən
ˈdandɪlʌɪən ənd bəˈtalɪən
ˈsali wɪð ˈalʌɪ jeɪ jiː
ʌɪ ʌɪ ʌɪ ʌɪ weɪ ənd kiː
seɪ əˈvəː bʌt ˈɛvə ˈ"ːvə
ˈnʌɪðə- ˈlɛʒə skeɪn dɪˈsiːvə
ˈhɛr(ə)n ˈgran(ə)ri kəˈnɛːri
ˈkrɛvɪs ənd dɪˈvʌɪs ənd ˈɪəri
feɪs bʌt ˈprɛfəs nɒt ɪˈfeɪs
!ɛm !ɛgˈmatɪk as glɑːs beɪs
lɑːdʒ bʌt ˈtɑːgɪt dʒɪn gɪv ˈvəːdʒɪn
ɔːt aʊt dʒaʊst ənd ˈskaʊə ˈskəːdʒɪn
ɪə bʌt əːn ənd wɛː ənd tɛː
duː nɒt rʌɪm wɪð hɪə bʌt ɛː
ˈsɛv(ə)n ɪz rʌɪt bʌt səʊ ɪz ˈiːv(ə)n
ˈhʌɪf(ə)n ˈrʌf(ə)n ˈnɛfjuː ˈstiːv(ə)n
ˈmʌŋki ˈdɒŋki təːk ənd dʒəːk
ɑːsk grɑːsp wɒsp ənd kɔːk ənd wəːk
prənʌnsɪˈeɪʃ(ə)n θɪŋk ɒv ˈsʌɪki
ɪz ə ˈpeɪlɪŋ staʊt ənd spʌɪki
wəʊnt ɪt meɪk juː luːz jɔː wɪts
ˈrʌɪtɪŋ grəʊts ənd ˈseɪɪŋ grɪts
ɪts ə dɑːk əˈbɪs ɔː ˈtʌn(ə)l
struːn wɪð stəʊns ˈsɒlɪs ˈgʌn(ə)l
n/a ənd ʌɪl ɒv wʌɪt
ˈhaʊswʌɪf ˈvəːdɪkt ənd ɪnˈdʌɪt
ˈfʌɪnəli wɪtʃ rʌɪms wɪð ɪˈnʌf
ðəʊ θruː plaʊ ɔː dəʊ ɔː kɒf
ˈhɪkʌp haz ðə saʊnd ɒv kʌp
mʌɪ ədˈvʌɪs ɪz tə gɪv ʌp