Beneath the Undertow By aftrnoondlight

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6968728/1/

Beneath the Undertow

Chapter One

"Edward…" A familiar voice boomed through the heavy beats of The Bravery.

"Edward…" An ear bud fell suddenly behind my shoulder, I slowly opened tired
eyes.

"Sorry, Harry." I righted, squinting into a blazing July sun.

"Edward, Mr. Jenks is in from Portland. He's meeting with a few of the guys later
on. Come upstairs after your shift." Harry Clearwater's usual warm eyes were
cool, darting and avoiding.

"Harry… what's…" Turning his back, a trembling hand ran over a balding head as
he hurried towards the main building. Fuck. Thumbing over my simple sandwich
on rye, I counted months and a year to date my next evaluation. Nothing
matched, nothing. I quickly surmised meeting with Mr. Jenks wouldn't result in a
raise, a bonus or promised promotion. I swallowed a swig of generic cola and my
waning pride. Smoothing over my Thursday message from Bella scribbled in
green, reality loomed. I used the silent love note to wipe the fear beading across
my forehead.

Steadying with a deep inhale then out, I tossed my brown paper sack and sweet
words in the trash. Passing by cliques of all ages, knuckles broken and bare,
taking their thirty minutes of respite, Billy shouted across the dry, blazing
courtyard. "Cullen, pull up a chair, man. You alright?"

"Hey, Billy." I matched a tight hand grip with an old friend, a mentor on the field,
and unlikely peer. "You know anything about Jenks being in town from Portland
today?"

"No…" He paused, masking a sigh with a smile as he realized. "Probably just
throwing some weight around. I'll walk you in." He rested a strong, sturdy palm
on my shoulder. I reactively squared and flexed, grasping the last of my dignity.

"You wanna go an extra hour on Sunday? I've got time. Your slider was looking
solid yesterday. You should hit the cage after work though, we're closing in on
the day." Billy coached, holding the door.

"Okay," I agreed quietly with a sudden shiver of frigid artificial air. My fate
forever owned by another, patience was a struggle. Pulling worn gloves from my
rear denim pocket, I took the stairs down. Slower by the step, I unrolled and
buttoned the cuffs of my flame resistant chambray. The menacing roar of
operation barreled through me. Blowing a deep exhale, I reached, lifted and
rolled punishing weight and texture over my shoulders, forearms, then hands.
Powering levers, shifting, guiding thick timber while I measured the possibilities.
My mind drowned in visions… Bella twirling barefoot in a brand new dress,
nothing beneath… a perfect, smooth sea blue, clinging to curves… bare sun-
kissed shoulders… creamy flesh peppered with freckles begging me to count and
kiss. A surprise, wrapped in a paper and a ribbon… her smile beautiful, her dark
eyes wide and grateful. A piercing alarm shattered my reverie, reminding to
reload, turn and labor. Fisting my leather sheathed hands; I glanced at the
ticking time high on the wall. Once, the black numbers and dial counted down
moments to hold my wife. Making love at dusk, caressing her growing belly, and
eating frozen dinners and fruit in bed. But the passing hours were punishing,
other possibilities forced forward. Another loss… another letdown, another dream
done and gone, but it would be Bella's to lose not mine.

I twisted the marred, flat white gold band anxiously. Sitting, shifting, rolling my
neck in a black vinyl sofa, I waited. A quarter past four came and went. Clearing
my throat at the turn of a knob, I stood finally, running a weary hand over
stubble I wish I'd shaved.

"Edward Cullen. Well hell…" Mr. Jenks, the younger not the older, strutted within
a tight handshake.

"Garrett… I thought your dad was…"

"Come in, Edward." A sweeping gesture welcomed me into his large temporary
office. I fell into the small, simple chair in the corner of the drab space. "Shit,
how long's it been, man?" Garrett smirked, loosening his grey silk tie.

"Oh…" I shrugged, watching him casually perch on the corner of the cheap
laminate desk. "Maybe a year or so." Focusing on the framed forestry posters and
safety slogans beyond his full head, I sought to steady.

"Yeah, yeah… okay, that's right. The Jenks Timber summer picnic… with Bella."
His smirk led him, treading dangerously. "How is… Bella?"

"She's good." I blurted, suddenly yanking my gloves from my back pocket,
slapping them against my denim thigh in warning. "Starting nursing school this
fall." So don't fuck with my job cocky prick.

He straightened and scoffed. "Huh. Good for her. She deserves…" He paused,
moving slowly behind the desk. "She deserves everything."

I launched. Gripping the edge of the desk, white knuckled ready, I clenched.
"Garrett, cut to the chase. And leave my wife out of it." He staggered with wide
eyes.

"Cut to the chase? Cut… Cutter… Ole Cutter Cullen… How's that working out for
you now?" He taunted, envy saturating his sound.

"What the fuck do you want? What's the point with this shit, Garrett?"

"The point? You want the point?" He slid into the burgundy chair. Breathing deep,
he delivered his final act. "We're restructuring. Starting an apprentice program
with the local college. Your job… your level will be…" I interrupted with a palm in
the air.

"Was this apprentice program your idea?" Angling my stare, I pushed.

"It's smart, Edward. A progressive plan. I'm… sorry." He rested his forearms,
folded his hands, finished.

"Sorry? That's it? I'm done? You can't move me into another area? Another
group?" I loathed the desperation.

"What else can you do? I mean really, Edward." My knees buckled, he tortured.
"If you'd just headed to UW with that sweet scholarship…" He narrowed his eyes,
curling his thin mouth, patronizing.

I buried my face briefly, pounding my bottom lip with my fist. "Do I get two
weeks to find something else?" Silence. "Okay."

"Listen, Edward…" Garrett Jenks rushed and stumbled in designer shoes. "I know
you and Bella have had a rough time. But, this… this is business." His large hand
landed against the door, blocking.

"Got it. Now get the fuck out of my way so I can go home and hold my wife."

Locked, hidden, raging with damp eyes, I slammed the blue stall wall. Rolling my
forehead against the cool metal surface, an angry exhale morphed into a shiver.

A tremble buried deep in my gut, a reaction to the nightmare. Thoughts of the
next day and the day after, numbers on paper that wouldn't compute. Fuck.
Bella's tuition, even more fundamental than that… Dark, beautiful eyes, masking
the depth of her own worry and fear. My steel toed boot joined my fist, pounding
and kicking away all the energy left.

"Sure, yeah. Book the suite. Whatever you want, I don't give a shit. We're not
leaving the room all weekend anyway. Do they have one of those big ass tubs
with the jets like that other lodge?" Again, the words and voice seeped like
poison. I waited, composing, until he left with his expensive phone and my
worthless future.

~BtU~

The Meadow was always the most peaceful at dusk; just before the iron scrolled
gates were locked for the night. We had a schedule, a plan that never included
Thursdays, but I was there. The edge of a large white tent flapped through a
midsummer breeze, freshly pitched apparent by the thick rows of pale blooms
and folding chairs.

"Bella, you have to get dressed." I found her naked, curled on our double bed
clutching her pale pink bra to her still swollen stomach.

"No." She stared through the window. Kicking off my old dress shoes, I melted in
behind her, caressing long dark waves from her weary face.

"We have to do this for him," I whispered firmly against her smooth, damp cheek.
She gasped, sobbing. "I know…" Holding tighter as she shook.

"I want him to come back. He needs to come back, Edward. We love him. I'll sing
to him…" She turned in my arms, staring desperately, willing me to make the
pain disappear.

"Shhh…"

"You held him. I didn't hold him… Why didn't I hold him?"

I searched, hoping for the right words. "You couldn't. But he knew you were
there."

"I should've…" She mumbled softly against my white shirt. "I'm sorry." I framed
her face with our joined hands.

"He's gone, baby. We need to let him rest today…" Several quiet moments
passed, we watched new snow fall, gathering outside our small, borrowed house.
She unlaced our fingers and sat slowly. Her delicate straps slid up and over,
holding the lace behind for me to connect.

"Edward…"

"Hmmm…" I dusted, soothing over her shivering back.

"Nothing fits… I… have to wear my… my maternity clothes to… our baby's
funeral."

I steeled, my head respectfully hung low as I paced up the green hill. Assured the
quietest of plots, sweet silence under the massive ancient oak tree. I cleared tiny
twigs, dried leaves and droppings from the rusting vase secured by a linked
chain. Two long trembling fingers and a curled thumb gripped the white smudged
leather and red thread. I pinched, squeezed the old baseball as I leaned closer to

the marble headstone. Dropping it into the narrow mouth of the vase, my fingers
then trailed to the engraving that haunted my dreams.

Riley Anthony Cullen

January 29, 2009

One day, not through… the beginning and the end.

"So this ball, this one's from the Senior State Championships. I think it was the
hottest ever… a record high in Washington. Your mommy was so damn gorgeous
that day." I paused to chuckle, a favorite image of Bella soothing my memory.
"You were just starting to show. Not a lot, but everyone could see. She was so
proud, finally. She had this white dress on… like a sundress, real short. Glowing.
And her hair…" Blowing hard through puckered lips, I stared away, fighting.
"Okay, little man, I know you want the game scoop, don't you…" My monologue
routine, I detailed each and every inning, always peppering with visions of Bella.
He needed those parts too, the best parts.

"I lost my job today, Riley." The reality slid off my tongue easily, I could tell my
baby boy any and all. "Your mom doesn't know yet. Not sure how I'm going to…"
I broke, the grassy earth caught me. I thumbed the small, silver disk of his
initials and day hanging from a dark leather cord around my neck. Somber,
silent, I let truth settle.

~BtU~

"Emmett, what's going on, man?" A fist bump over a wide, mahogany bar was
our typical greeting. A cool bottle budgeted for pay day brought me to an old
friend every other week. The Cliff was crowded for a Monday, pool players and
booths full.

"What're you here on a Thursday for, Edward? You bring that beautiful wife of
yours?" Emmett grinned, twisting a cap off my usual. A white terry towel flung
across his broad shoulder, his eyes sparkled at the mention of Bella. She had that
effect on everyone. Some I knew was sympathy, pity, but mostly it was simply
her.

"Nope, she's home. Been a long day, thought I'd cool off before I head home," I
explained sipping slow.

"You alright, Cullen?" Emmett shouted as a crowd moved through the door.

"Oh yeah. I'm good. Just…"

"Cutter Cullen! What the fuck, man? How the hell are ya?" Seth Young tackled me
from behind. I spun, righting for a masculine embrace. My former teammate
sized me up, as my ego plummeted to the sticky bar floor. "Damn it's good to see
you." Seth grabbed me into another rough wrangle.

"What about you, Young? The big guns, huh? Shit. The Cubbies… The Chicago
fucking Cubs." We laughed, knocking my scabbed elbow to his tight bicep.

"Buy me a drink…" Seth joked, I stiffened.

"Sure… sure." I raised my beer towards Emmett indicating the next and then
some as we fell into a corner booth. "How long you in town for? You're off for the
All-Star break or what?"

"Yeah, just the weekend. Thought I'd come home and hug my mom…eat some
decent food."

"Oh shit, please." I scoffed. Emmett brought drinks and lingered.

"Damn it's good seeing you two together again…" He shook his head exasperated
at time, circumstance. I silently agreed. Staring into Seth's eyes from the dusty,
clay mound was my life aside from Bella. My catcher, we were a team. Big plans,
hopes, and wishes, we shared, but only he realized. "Seth, you know Edward's
gonna hit up the Mariner's open tryouts next week." Goddammit, Emmett.

Seth leaned, twisted back against the dark green vinyl. The expression he wore
was familiar. "Edward…" I quickly swigged, waving to dismiss.

"No big deal, man. It's not. I swear." Forcing a chuckle, I tapped the neck of his
bottle, encouraging him to move on.

"It is a big deal. What the hell are you talking about? You've been training your
ass off." Emmett pushed, confused. "Your fastball is fucking incredible right now.
And shit, Seth you should see his cutter."

"Yeah, we've all seen his cutter…" Seth smirked, wide eyed.

"Can I use the bar phone, man? I need to check on Bella." I interrupted, shoving
lightly in warning. Emmett slid into my seat as I stalked away.

"Hey, baby. Where are you?" Bella's sweet voice calmed.

"Oh… I… I ran into Seth at the… gas station on fourth."

"Seth… Young?" She asked excitedly.

"The one and only." I leveled a mock salute towards the booth.

"Oh my god. Give him a hug for me."

"Anyway, I offered… he offered to buy me a drink over at The Cliff."

"Aww, that sounds good, baby. You need to relax more. I'll just eat a bowl of
cereal for dinner then. Have fun."

"I love you… I love you so much." Tangling the curled phone cord in my blistered
hand, I balanced my heightened emotion.

"I love you too. Oh hey, can you stop over at Meyer's Grocery and pick up a
dozen cupcakes on your way home? They have those pre made vanilla frosted
ones in the bakery."

"For what?" I snapped, mentally counting the contents of my wallet.

"Jesus." She paused. "Because we're having a little welcome thing for the new
coach tomorrow in the school lounge. I signed up for dessert. Is that a problem?"

I breathed. "No… course not. I'm sorry. I mean, I do have a problem with the
way Coach Banner checks you out…" She giggled flirtatiously, my favorite.

"Shut up. You're crazy. Besides, you already own the sweet ass and perfect tits
he stares at everyday."

"Bella, I swear… I better not find that pumped up fucker loitering in the school
office." I played along, watching Seth angling and gesturing hits, swings and
style. My heart ached.

"Drive safe, baby."

An attractive, dark haired young woman was snuggled into Seth's side when I
returned. "Edward, this is my fiancé, Carmen." Surprised, I shook her manicured
hand, a large diamond sliding between us.

"I've heard a lot about you, Edward." She beamed bleached teeth behind heavily
glossed lips. "All good though," she squeaked. I mirrored her smile and finished
my beer. Seth's expression was pensive as he stroked down her thin, tan arm. He
studied my knuckles, hands, almost wincing.

"Listen, you've been through…" Seth spoke low. "It's been a rough go for you,
man… for Bella too. Are you sure you want to put yourself out there like this
again? I'm talking straight up here, Edward." Carmen watched doe-eyed, eager.

"Like what? I know the drill and I know the chances. Billy asked, I'm doing it. I've
got nothing to lose, Seth. Nothing." My stomach tightened.

"What does Bella say?"

"She doesn't know… yet." I pursed my lips and shook my head. Carmen squirmed
slightly, distracting Seth. He whispered something in her ear, she disappeared.
"Getting married?" I taunted, diverting the conversation.

"Yeah, December. Can you believe it?"

"Sure. Why not? Being married is… it's the best."

"The best?" He chuckled, shifting. "You got the best girl, Cullen. That's for fucking
sure." He held his bottle in the air toast, then rubbed the back of his neck
anxiously. "Rookie… Single A farm team… You sure about this?"

I tensed, over the analysis. "Hey, gotta start somewhere. It's just for fun, man.
Seriously knock it off."

"I just don't want to see you… down again. You deserve better, Edward. How's
things over at Jenks?" I fell back, tossing a bowl of peanut shells across the pine
table.

"Well you'll never guess who fired my ass today?" I laughed, scoffing masking my
embarrassment. "Garrett Jenks. Cocky motherfucker."

"No shit. I bet he asked about Bella… huh?" We shared a knowing smirk, then his
face fell. "They let you go?"

"Restructuring." Carmen slid back in position, spilling from her black tank top. "I'll
find something else."

"Baby, I'm tired," she purred, pecking Seth's neck, then rubbing the color away.
Smiling, he glanced between us.

"You still working out with Billy at the school field?"

"Yeah, yep Sunday afternoons. He hasn't changed either, still brings that damn
red bucket to sit on."

"How 'bout I come out and catch a bit for you? We don't fly out 'til Monday
morning."

"Ah, man, you don't have to."

"I'm sure he wants to, don't you, baby?" Carmen said quietly.

"I do, definitely. Let's see this fastball Emmett's swearing by." They stood, I
stayed. Promises of a Sunday reunion at the field were our parting words. The
volume of empty bottles suddenly tallied, I threw my thin leather wallet down.
Shit.

"What's the damage, Emmett?" I asked anxiously.

"Zero, man. Seth took care of it." He busied squaring bottles and tightening caps.
I kicked at a barstool with my boot and shoved a five dollar bill into the full tip
jar. "Edward…" He shouted after me as I made my escape. "I didn't mean to put
that out there…"

"No… it's fine. Probably won't do it anyway. I have to get some shit sorted first."

"Don't give up, man. You know I've been there. If anyone deserves a second
chance it's you, Cullen."

"Thanks. I appreciate that, Emmett. But, right now, I need to go home and love
on my girl."

~BtU~

The bedroom lamp glow filtered through the thin cotton curtains. After draining
the final can of six more while parked in the driveway, I rolled up my truck
window, wincing. I wiped the humid moisture off my face, forehead and neck and
fell through the rusty door. Meandering towards our front porch, I knew the night
was late and problems weren't solved. A quiet stumble down the hallway, I
followed the pale light to our room. Pushing open the door, I took in the white
sheet twisted around my favorite bare, long legs. Admiring and roaming up the
view to her pale blue cotton panties peeking where my worn jersey had ridden
high. She had a sleepy grip on an old cheap paperback. Coven of Forbidden Love,
water stained and torn, settled between her hips. Undoubtedly the fourth or fifth
read, I made a mental note to stop at the library for her.

Absorbing the innocence and peace, I stalked closer. I kicked off my steel toed
boots from sore feet, pulled my standard issue Jenks Timber shirt over my head
and tossed it far in the corner. Unbuttoning and shoving down my jeans, I
reached the edge of our bed, carefully sliding in next to Bella. Gently tugging the
novel away, I teased up the length of her arm, down her chest over the swells of
pert breasts, feeling under the peeling team numbers.

She reactively nuzzled when I wrapped around. Placing wet, soft kisses down the
warm flesh of her neck, she hummed along my naked shoulder… then startled.
"Baby… no. You smell like swill and…" She grumbled, wrinkling her nose and
leaning away. "You didn't leave the cupcakes in your truck did you? Remember
what happened on your dad's birthday last…"

"Fuck." I fell defeated back into my pillow, roughly rubbing my eyes.

"I'll go out and get them." I quickly pulled her wrist, stopping her from looking for
something that wasn't there. She stared, knowing. "You forgot."

"I'm sorry," I mouthed, dusting her knuckles with pouting lips. She twisted her
mouth and rolled her beautiful, dark eyes. Lying back, arms stretched overhead
as she sighed in frustration.

"I'll just get up early with you in the morning and stop on my way. Thank god
tomorrow's Friday… and payday. Did you blow your beer budget tonight with
Seth?" Truth avoided as I hovered. My hands smoothed over the heated skin of
her taut middle, thumbing along and under the thin edge of her panties. I grazed
her jaw, nipping and tasting.

"Edward…" She whispered sympathetically. "I'm tired. I had to inventory
everything in the science department and the Dean's office today. I mean… I…"
Tugging her plump bottom lip between my teeth was an attempt to hush and
ignite. She freed, squirming slightly, my erection waning between her thighs. "I
can just… I'm here… if you want…" I exhaled, resting my forehead against hers.

"It's okay." Twisting the small, black pin on the lamp, we drifted into darkness… a
safe place where my secrets could rest.

Chapter Two

Lilacs and vanilla, silky strands tickled as gentle kisses peppered over my chest.
"You didn't even hear your alarm, sleepy head. Are you hung over?" She
suddenly straddled, naked, fresh from the shower. "You can't be late for your
shift."

Forcing through the haze, I playfully squeezed her ass and rotated at her center.
"I'm up, see… feel," I teased with a raised brow. Her lashes fluttered, her hips
rocked reactively. Biting her lip, she tugged lightly on the charm and leather cord
around my neck to balance.

"We don't have time," she said, escaping.

I strengthened my grasp on her ass and thigh. "It's been so long, baby." We
stared knowing, hurting. She shook her head lightly and moved off towards the
closet to dress. I inhaled her pillow, watching.

"Oh, I ironed your work shirt," she said proudly, knotting her hair. "I'm leaving
now, I guess." I sat to meet her at the end of the bed. "You seriously need to get
moving."

"I will, I will. Since when do school secretaries wear tight, white, short shorts?"
My fingers danced behind her knees and higher. I tugged the hem of her shorts
dramatically.

"It's summer, relax." She kissed the tip of my nose. "That reminds me, tuition is
due the first of August."

"Is it already? That's only two weeks."

"I know, I'm so excited. Billy said Sue's put a good word in for me at the hospital,
just for something part time. Get my foot in the door…" Tucking into my lap, she
kissed my temple, with a secure hold around my neck. "Thank you, baby, for
letting me go to school first."

"Of course," I paused, steadying. "It was always the plan after Ri…" She tenderly
traced the blisters on my palms.

"What's the matter, Edward? What is it?" She urged, finally cupping and angling
my face. "You know it's not a big deal about the cupcakes, right? And you know
Coach Banner's happily married…" Dipping her head, raising her eyes… teasing
felt like patronizing. My secret left me sensitive, vulnerable, agitated. Breathing
deep to stifle reaction, I calmed. Pushing damp tendrils behind ears wearing small
silver hoops, my smile reassured.

"Goddamn, you're beautiful when you're sweaty." My nonsense earned a joyful
jab to the abdomen. "I'm serious, why is it so fucking hot in this house?"

"I'm… conserving. A.C.'s expensive." A sudden kiss on my mouth, she flew out
and away. "Don't forget to deposit the paycheck at lunch. Love you…"

~BtU~

"Whoa, Jessica, lookin' good… and ready. When are you due again?" The
receptionist at the front desk blushed and looked towards her appointment
screen. Always away, the topic of due dates and babies made any and all look
away.

"August 10th," she answered flatly. "Does your dad know you're coming? He's got
a surgery scheduled for eleven." I tapped and rolled my wrist over the tall
partition, already anxious.

"No, he doesn't, actually. I'm off work today… thought I'd surprise him." Dusting
over an old blue Yankee t-shirt, I shrugged casually in an attempt to settle. She
held her finger up, smiling and buzzed back.

"Go ahead," she mouthed and motioned. I knocked twice, twisting the handle to
the private office in the back. My dad closed a pen and folder before tilting back
in his leather chair. Shoving my hands into denim pockets, I squared my
shoulders, bracing.

"Why aren't you at work?"

I scoffed and glanced through the large window. "Good to see you too."

"Seriously, son, it's Friday morning. Why aren't you at the mill?" He pushed; his
narrowed eyes penetrated my aching pride.

"I think you could probably guess, Dad. You're a smart man." I challenged,
desperately wanting to get past the inevitable. He glared.

"When?"

"Yesterday." I smirked, slowly sitting down across his desk. "That son of a bitch
Garrett Jenks did the deed. I would've preferred the old man."

"Edward…" He gestured a warning, then leaned forward resting on praying hands.
"What's your plan?"

"I don't know. I honestly don't know. Bella's tuition is due soon." He ran through
his light, short hair, gripping the ends in growing anger. Staring over his shoulder
at the myriad of family photographs framed carefully in black, childhood bliss
taunted me. Tall shoulders, trophies, high fives and smiles… I was their one and
only.

"Well sitting here in my office isn't very productive for you." His tone and words
cut.

"Okay… I see this was a bad idea." I stood abruptly, wanting to disappear. "I just
needed some help, some goddamn help," I mumbled.

"What the hell do you want from me, Edward? You're already living in your
grandmother's house for free." Raising his voice to stop my exit. "You've made
your bed, son. You're going to have to deal with it. And so does Bella." I broke.

"How fucking dare you? Do you have any idea what she's been through?" I was
shouting, shaking.

"Yes, I do. We all lived it. But you're twenty-one years old now. This is your life.
You need to deal with it." He tensed; I slammed my hand on the corner of his
desk, pointing too close.

"If my son had lived an hour… one fucking hour… I would have given him more
than this." I seethed, intentionally spewing the worst. His clear blue eyes,
widened before dampening.

"Your mother and I did everything… spoiled and supported and… for what? So
you could knock up you high school sweetheart, give up a scholarship? All your
god-given talent wasted… Goddamn wasted."

I staggered backwards to the door. "I love her. We loved our baby. I'd choose
them over my fucking glove… forever. Go to hell. I don't need anything from
you."

"Babe, fuck… my shoulder…" Groaning and rotating the effects of hours at the
practice field, I shifted.

Our eyes met, knowing. "Sorry… I guess it's too soon," she whispered.

"I'm not making excuses." Independence fireworks exploded and sizzled in the
park down the block. Six months and some sad days later…

"Why?" She slowly pulled up the straps of her green nightgown.

"Why what?" I leaned against the pine headboard rolling my head in
exasperation. "Stop it, baby."

"No... really, why? You're dad offered to pay for UW now. You can still walk on
the team. You'll get drafted, everyone knows it, you know it." The condition was
to leave her behind, words so old and used. She pulled on her panties and her
knees to her chest. I feathered down her pale, perfect cheek with the back of my
knotted hand, soothing and reassuring.

"We were getting married anyway, remember? Remember our plan?" I mirrored
her smile at the memory. "Riley wasn't part of that plan, but he needs us to be
together… I need us to be together." She suddenly melted into my side. Her
warm fingers twisting through the fine hair on my chest, kisses followed. Silent
tears trailed towards her chin.

"He's gone…"

Wincing through the physical ache, reminding that I was alive, I lifted her within
a breath. My thumbs smoothed down her jaw, drying the salty drops. "I'm here,
Bella… I'm not going anywhere, ever. Do you understand that?" Mirroring her
grateful smile, our mouths grazed and I whispered love against swollen lips.

~BtU~

Over… across the seams…

Rotate… together…

Thumb tight…

Pinch… inside…

Snap…

"Motherfucker," I groaned. Exhaling through a clenched jaw as I reached for
another. Cheap beer swirled, punishing my head and gut. Tall yellow lights
blinded against the late night sky, perspiration dripped into my blurred sight.

Repeat. And again. Faster. Fucking faster.

The denim I wore restricted, my knees covered in dust and clay. I pulled the t-
shirt over my head, twisted the leather cord to hang at my back. Digging in,
steady, sturdy I twisted the toe of my running shoe, drew up my knee… fire…

"Ball one," a voice shouted in the distance. I sheltered my eyes for a view. Seth
moved towards the field's edge with a well-earned swagger. "That's junk, Cullen."

"Thanks," I mumbled and waved sarcastically. "Slumming it tonight?"

"Just driving by." I watched silently as he crouched behind home plate, taunting.
"Show me…"

"Bare handed?"

"Sure." He smirked, ready.

"Well, aren't you the badass." I launched, he caught, cringing slightly.

"Seen better. Tighten the fuck up." He corralled used pitches around his feet.

"Oh really?" My arm vibrated as I powered through another… then another.

"Sloppy. Settle down, man."

"Fuck you." I pulled my glove off. Running a filthy hand over my mouth, I
reached for the beer can planted in the clay.

"Where's Bella, Edward?" I began again, surprising. He lost his balance with
narrowed eyes.

"Home... sleeping."

"And you're on the mound, wasted, throwing shit." He stood, I rushed. A cathartic
scuffle, shoving, pushing… equaling nothing. Seth caught me at his waist,
tumbling lower. Letting me fall, hitting the bottom, he watched patiently. I
heaved worthless, his hand rested, supporting my shoulder.

~BtU~

"Why's she on the porch?" I wondered anxiously. Bella sat barefoot, peach tank
clinging from the dense heat. Stumbling out of Seth's rental car, he paced ahead
to greet, hug and whisper an explanation. She nodded, he pecked her forehead.

"I'm gonna see you Sunday. Sober." He sighed at the bottom stair. A light fist to
my chest and he was gone. Bella and I stared.

"Are you drunk?"

"I'm fine. Why are you out here, it's dark. I don't like you out here alone."

"The power's out." She shrugged, looking away. "It's actually cooler out here."

"What are you talking about?" I pushed through the front door... darkness.

"Did you drop off the payment?" She followed with our only flashlight, her tone
measured, weary. I slid down the wall near the open front window, burying my
head in my hands. "Fucking tell me, what the hell is going on with you?" She
stood, arms crossed, deserving answers.

"No."

"No… you forgot? Or no… you couldn't?"

I paused to compose, process. "We fell behind. Your registration was due, now
tuition. I thought we'd get at least... like thirty days…"

"Edward!" She dropped the small red flashlight, as she palmed over her eyes.

"I didn't want to disappoint you. You've been so fucking excited about school. We
need you to go to school." I shouted, then regretted as she kneeled in front of
me.

"Look at me. Baby, you better fucking look at me," she demanded, squaring my
jaw. "I've never been disappointed in you. Ever. Don't keep anything from me." I
leaned into her cradling hand. "We're in this together. I love you."

"I got fired yesterday." It rolled easily. I breathed heavy watching her expression.
She fell back on her ass, mouth parted in surprise. "I'm sorry, Bella."

~BtU~

I jerked awake from the sound of the telephone piercing though the silent house.
In only my boxers, I slid off the worn tapestry sofa, lost to the time of day.
Hurrying down the short hallway towards the kitchen, I noticed. A door forever
closed, wasn't. Our baby's room, open and empty. I willed myself inside,
breathing in the quiet. What would have been filled with life and love, laughter
and peace was bare. No boxes, no baskets… Confused, I couldn't make sense,
more than two years; suddenly she had a need to clear.

The ringing looped over, I ran hoping. "Bella?"

"No, no it's Billy. I just got the final tryout info. You're on the mound, Friday at
two." My eyes glazed, I used the doorframe to support. "Edward? This is it, son."

"Yeah… no, it's good. Thanks, Billy."

As the late afternoon sun fell, I'd made the last of anxious calls to find Bella. I
straightened rooms and rugs in the sweltering heat as the day wore on. Images
of Riley's room punished as I worried that she was alone in the hurt. Boxes
sealed and still, sat on the wood planked floor for so long, step by slowest step
we moved to the next phase of our grief.

Determined she'd find her way home eventually, I was forced to forego our
traditional pizza night, pouring a bowl of cereal instead. Through the top half of a
cheap bottle of left over wine, I finished washing the few dishes left in the sink
and swept the floor. As night fell I sipped slower and hunted for candles.

"Edward…"

"Here. I'm here…" I moved quickly down the hall towards the dark front room.
"Where've you been?"

"I…" She scanned the small room, curling her beautiful mouth into a sweet smile.
"What's with the candles?"

I shrugged, smirking. "I couldn't find the flashlight." Rolling my wrist behind my
back, I tossed it on the sofa. She angled her head, pursing her lips with an
arched brow.

"Yeah? What are you hiding?" Gesturing towards me, quizzing playfully. I slowly
closed the distance, grabbing her hands, our bodies flush. Her head tilted back as
I gently pressed us against the wall. Laced fingers braced above along the stucco,
our lips slightly parted, her eyes fell shut.

I skimmed the length of her graceful neck. "I missed you today," I whispered
with soft kisses over glistening skin. Releasing hands, I cupped the sides of her
face, teasing my thumbs over flushed cheeks until she met my stare. Grasping
the white cotton of my t-shirt, she tugged, pulling me closer still. "Are we okay?"

"Stop talking."

"K..." I caught her lower lip, sucking gently as my fingers gently tangled in her
mussed, chestnut hair. Our tongues tangled slowly as she dusted over my waist
with needy hands. She gasped lightly as my hardening length grew against her
middle. I rested my forehead to hers, savoring.

"Come on." I started backwards, lifting a cream candle from the trunk table.
Bella's fingers hooked in the back of my jeans as we made our way awkwardly
down the hall. Neither willing to let go…

Chapter 3

I stopped at the end of the bed, the lone candle flicker lit a path of tender kisses
across her pale cheeks, closed eyes, and finally her plump, waiting mouth. "I'm
sorry…" Warm fingers on lips silenced my desperate apology.

"Not now…" Gliding hands, feeling and wanting, discovered bare skin underneath
each others shirts. We tugged and lifted, parting only enough to remove and
stare. She quickly slipped out of her shorts and panties, I reactively palmed my
erection. Sitting, wide eyed perfection on our pale green quilt, her long legs
teased over the edge. I parted her thighs and stood between. She trailed up and
down my cock through heavy denim, biting her lip, taunting and seductive. "Fuck,
Bella."

Unbuttoned, unzipped… my wife pushed down and freed me. I stood exposed,
beyond the physical. She softly squeezed as I throbbed, her tongue wet the
length of her lower lip as she urged me closer. I suddenly felt the warmth of her
mouth surround my tip and my favorite beautiful brown eyes gazing through dark
lashes was almost my immediate undoing. Clenching my hands, I attempted
control as soft, slow licks tortured.

Fingers caressed, then gripped as she took me deeper. The sensations
overwhelmed, I tangled into her hair for balance and connection. Cradling gently,

I tugged on her silky brown strands while rubbing small circles just behind her
ears. I groaned, she hummed… vibrating through my length.

With the delicious swell of heat set in motion, I fought the urge to release. "Baby,
I need to be inside you, it's been too long." My hands smoothed forward over her
cheeks, as I pulled my hips back. I watched my cock erotically slide from her
mouth, her tongue swirled as her eyes fluttered. She playfully smirked an
invitation as she leaned back on her elbows.

"I'll never have enough of you." Intimate with only each other, we were forever
confident in our passion. Lying open, her pale skin stroked with pink, taut rosy
nipples and begging eyes… she wanted. I kneeled between her thighs; rough
hands pushed her knees further. The sweet scent of her arousal taunted as I slid
up towards her center. Reactively she lifted one leg to my shoulder, as I leaned
forward and spread her gently.

Our eyes met as I tasted. Long lashes rested on flushed cheeks, she twisted and
pulled me further into her warmth. "Baby… more…" Hips rolled as she withered
from the intensity of sucks and twirls. I slid two fingers into her wet heat,
pumping a slow, perfect pace. Her legs tightened, she fell back on the cool cotton
sheets. "Edward…" She moaned as she tipped. Her trembling hands held my head
still as she rode the waves against my tongue.

I peppered her body with soothing, open mouthed kisses, dipping into her navel
over her abdomen up to her breasts. Hovering, our lips grazed, sharing a breath.
"Baby, you're so fucking beautiful." We stared knowingly. Surrendering to the
nightmare of loss and challenges of reality, passing time easily multiplied. Her
needy whimpering and undulating hips spurred me on. Working back down, I
sucked and nipped one nipple, then the other, her fingers digging and grasping.

As I righted, standing again between her legs, she tugged at her taut peaks, wet
from my sweet assault. I gripped my cock at the base, stoking myself once, then
again.

"Fuck, Edward. Baby, please…" She twisted towards me in hot frustration.

I placed her smooth leg at my shoulder and lined myself, slowly pushing forward.
We gasped together through the moment. Tender kisses at her ankle, I urged her
other leg around my hip, bracing me close. Deep breaths steadied my impulse to
pound and rush.

"Please, Edward." she mouthed, gripping the bed beneath her. Quickly finding a
fevered rhythm, thrusting and swiveling, she arched and met.

"Is that what you want, baby?" I whispered.

She nodded, fisting through her own mussed hair. "Yes… god, yes." Each push,
each pull was harder than the last. Our need was deep; there would be time later
for tender. My muscles flexed, tense watching her build and rise. Quivering, her
mouth parted as she climaxed, then floated. Dark, wide eyes gazing at our
connection, while I pumped frantic and erratic, pacing her hips over my pulsing
cock.

"Bella…"

Dropping her leg, I caught myself just above her glistening body. My forehead fell
to her heaving chest. I smiled, blissfully sated over a racing heartbeat, as her
fingers tangled in my damp hair. Trailing my hand along her neck, I gently dusted
over her naturally blushed cheek. Then thumbing her swollen lips, she puckered

and wrinkled her nose. We kissed slow and mellow, winding and lost in each
other.

"Can we talk now?" I propped on an elbow, as she settled back.

"Okay."

"Where were you today?" I asked quietly, running measures of her hair between
my knuckles.

She sighed, staring at the ceiling. "Bella, answer me. I was worried." She met my
eyes, frowning slightly.

"I called your mom this morning."

"Why?" I paused, softly tasting the inside of her wrist.

"I wanted… I needed to take..." she whispered, sitting. "She met me at that
consignment shop on Rose Street. You know the one her friend from church
owns?"

"Did you take the rest of his things?" I comforted, smoothing down her bare
back. She nodded silently, facing away with a light shiver. "Hey, hey…" Pulling
her to lay at my chest, I framed her face, forcing a reassuring smile.

"The woman gave me cash for the clothes," her voice trailed, she stared towards
the burning flame on the side table. "It was pretty awful."

I pinched her chin for attention. "Why didn't you wake me up to go with you?"

"You were sleeping so hard. It was time. I don't know, I just felt…" She ran
fingertips over my eyebrows, down my nose, over my lips. "Your mom offered to
take me a while ago."

"How was she?"

"She's good, Edward… really misses you. You know, she was so sweet the whole
morning. Just that quiet way... that way she has about her. I needed it… today."
She paused, twisting her mouth. "And I took the cash payment to the utility
center downtown afterwards." She rolled on her back, covering her eyes. "Power
should be back on by Monday morning."

Running a rough, punishing hand over my face, I stood and pulled on my jeans.
"Edward… don't be mad. I was…" Bella reached for me.

"No, I'm not mad… I just… I wish he was still here. That's all. I wish everyday…
he was still here."

We embraced suddenly; I sat and pulled her into my lap. "I do too…" Forcing my
stare, cradling my face, we lingered in the heavy moment. "I really do too. I wish
things were different. Everything. But…"

"We'll have another baby one day. You know that, right?" I laid her back,
hovering gently.

"I hope so." She breathed, grazing my cheek. "But right now…" I buried into the
base of her neck, inhaling her thick, honeyed hair, damp from the heat. "We have
to deal… And… I don't know…" Staring, listening, I braced for the rest. "I think
nursing school can wait… and don't argue." I smirked, biting playfully at the
finger she pointed.

"You're going to school," I said in mock warning. Pulling me tight down towards
her, sweet, grateful pecks warmed briefly deeper. "Would you ever move away…
from Forks?"

She sighed, narrowing her eyes. "Would you be moving with me?" Tickling
fingertips grazed my bare sides.

"Shhh… of course." I smoothed over her swollen lips with mine. "I'm serious,
baby. If I found a job somewhere else. Could you leave?"

"You mean… leave him, don't you?" She whispered, I nodded. Grasping the
engraved oval around my neck, she smiled.

~BtU~

Moving through the hot haze to the lowest bleacher, I pulled tight, tense muscles
across my chest. Gripping and rotating my throwing shoulder to soothe pain and
nerves. I slid a sly glance towards my former high school dugout. Unfamiliar
experts held court with radar guns and clip boards. Whispers and wide eyes were
the only gauge or indication. Bending blistered knuckles once… twice, a welcomed
pain radiated as I opened my black equipment bag.

"Edward…" Billy hushed, standing near. "Christ, do you have any idea?" I smirked
and shrugged, masking my anticipation.

"Don't play games with me, son. You know what you threw. Holy shit!" He shook
his head, grinning. I shoved my glove in, following him from the field. Scanning
the parking lot, for Bella's old Honda, I rushed. "You didn't tell her, did you?" Billy
joked.

I smiled and rolled my eyes, adjusting the weighted bag strap up and over. His
laughter bellowed, increasing suddenly. He generously fisted against my bicep
and pointed in front of us. Bella was perched on the gate of my truck bed,
swinging her legs. Fatherly palming my jaw, Billy's taunting laughter morphed
into serious sigh. "I'm proud of you, Edward." We both looked towards Bella. "I've
got a real good feeling about this. You're a helluva young man." A playful slap to
my sunburned cheek was his gestured good bye.

"Hey, Billy," I shouted after him. "Whatever happens… you know with it all…
Thanks, man… and hey… I'll be here Sunday." He leveled a side salute, nodding.

I paced slower as I reached the angry beauty waiting. Her lean, sun freckled
arms were crossed defensively over the top of her cream sundress. Angling her
head, she prepared her tirade. "Oh, hello." I immediately sensed the smile
beneath. Dropping my bag, I tucked into a short dark t-shirt sleeve, wiping my
damp mouth. She spun my sweat soaked baseball cap backwards on my head,
leaving me hopeful. "So I was just sitting at my desk in the front office, minding
my own business…"

"Uh-huh…" I leaned in, she scoffed back. We played our parts.

"…and Coach Banner stopped by. You know for our afternoon flirt session." We
mirrored each other's dramatically raised brows.

"Really… well that must be your favorite time of day." The tease waged on.

"Yes. Then suddenly, these old guys walked in wearing all this obnoxious
Mariner's shit." She rolled her eyes; I smirked, pulling her hand to my mouth.
"They were going back and forth with Coach Banner about being scouts and on

and on about a tryout or something crazy like that." Peppering kisses over her
knuckles, I urged her to continue.

"Go on…"

"Coach Banner asked if I'd like to join him while he watched all the hopeful punks
show their stuff. Of course I agreed, I mean I've always kinda liked baseball. So
we walked hand-in-hand to the field."

"This hand?" I nibbled her thumb, she playfully jerked away.

"And then…" She gestured wildly. "He says, oh isn't that your husband on the
mound? On the mound with the speed gun pointed at him. On the mound trying
out for the Seattle Mariner's Rookie League… you know, nothing else to do on a
Friday afternoon in July."

"Yeah, then what happened?" My hands slid under her ass and scooted her to the
edge. She wrapped around my neck, rubbing her nose along mine.

"Then… I saw this tall, sexy guy throwing some fast stuff. I saw... the love of my
life being so brave… I saw my husband doing his very best… for us." She
whispered softly.

"Baby…" Our lips crashed over, tongues tangling. Bella tensed slightly, palms
against my chest.

"Your dad is standing behind you," she breathed at my mouth. I turned quickly,
as Bella hopped down, smoothing out her short dress. "Hi, Dr. Cullen." She kissed
him on the cheek and disappeared, leaving us surprised, sharing a rare smile.

"I'm hearing 90-91," He said casually, clearing his throat. Resting large, aging
hands on the waist of his blue scrubs, his stance relaxed.

"Okay. Good. That's what I was shooting for."

"It's obvious Billy's hitting your slider hard. It looked… incredible." He slid his
dark shades down, to avoid. "Well… I need to get back to the hospital. Bella said
it was an emergency when she called." He laughed lightly.

I forced my hand towards him, he met it firmly. "Thanks… for being here."

~BtU~

Her ass peeked just beyond the open fridge door. I snuck behind, caressing as
she reached for a glass pitcher of lemonade. "Hi, baby…" She melted as I held her
tight, back to my front.

"You can't wear this purple bikini to Emmett's birthday party. His friends are
just…" I whispered against her smooth neck. Thumbing over her hardening
nipples, she pushed back, teasing through my thin, black swim trunks.

"Mmmm… it's the only one I have. And you picked it out." Turning in my arms,
she tugged the leather chain around my neck, lower. "Quit making excuses. You
need to get out of the house. We need to go have some fun."

I narrowed my eyes and twisted my mouth, releasing the top tie behind her back.
"All I need is for you to bend over this counter and…"

"Oh, really?" Biting and sucking at my bottom lip, her fingers traced the trail of
hair on my abdomen. "The party doesn't start until two, we could... maybe do

something to calm you down…" She offered with a naughty smirk. Groaning, I
threw her over my sore muscles and playfully slapped her ass. Just as we
rounded the corner the kitchen telephone rang. I froze, she gasped.

"Hello…"

"Lookin' for Edward Cullen." I stifled my laughter to recognize the voice. Bella
tickled at the edge of my shorts as she hung down my back.

"This is Edward." I squeezed her thigh to quiet and still.

"Well, well… Mr. Cullen… I've been waitin' to talk to you since you were about
sixteen years old, son."

Twisting the cord of the simple wall phone, I listened close, balancing the only
thing that truly mattered over my shoulder. She strained to hear, to understand,
as my hand trembled over her warm skin. Talk of speed and talent, promises,
decisions and places to sign rattled on.

"Thank you. I really appreciate this, sir."

I set Bella carefully on her feet within a breath and leaned back against the old
pine cabinets. Staring at her peach painted toes wiggling impatiently, I blew an
exhale into clasped hands, absorbing the implication of the call and watching her
bounce. "Who was it?" I met her anxious, wide eyes. "Tell me!"

In a sudden rush of adrenaline, I buried my fingers into her loose knot of hair
pulling her close. Confusion… excitement... beautiful brown eyes sparkled with
realization. She covered her parted mouth with her hands as I nodded silently.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." Leaping, she wrapped her legs around my waist.

She squealed, smiling wide, wrinkling her sun kissed nose. "I'm so proud of you."
Sloppy celebratory kisses wet my neck, ears, and forehead. "Oh wait, what was
that about bending me over…"

I carried her towards our bedroom, laughing… full and so, so humbled. "I love
you."

.

Epilogue

The steep stairs to our new condominium were lined with painted clay pots full of
geraniums and begonias. I quickly surmised Bella was quite busy while I was
away for three games in Montgomery. Southern summer heat saturated the night
air as I made my way through the front door. "Babe, I'm home," I shouted
gratefully as my large team duffle hit the cool foyer floor.

"Edward," she squealed. "I'm in the tub." Smiling, warming at the mere sound of
her voice, I quickly kicked my running shoes off and tossed my tangle of keys on
the kitchen bar. Shady images, black and white… familiar but not, drew me in.
Small, yet significant glossy paper held me still and tense. Ovals and arrows,
numbers and names, our baby waiting, developing and growing and there, here…
ours. The shiver I couldn't shake suddenly had me braced against a tall, black

painted barstool. Then a note, spiral edged, jagged and torn written in bright blue
permanent marker brought me forward.

Mommy's impatient. Please don't be mad. I'm healthy and cute and have boy
parts…

Bella moved down the hallway, tying a loose bow across her short, white cotton
robe and swollen middle. We stared, she anxiously chewed her lip. A natural glow
from warm bathwater and pure happiness lit her porcelain skin. "Hi."

"Hi, yourself," I said quietly, closing the distance. I held the evidence of our love
and future out and in front. "You just couldn't wait, could you?" I teased. She
turned, tearing towards our bedroom, bare toes bolting across earth toned tile.
Giggling louder as I caught closer; we landed gently on our bed.

"You're not mad are you?" She snatched the sonogram pictures, thumbing over
them slowly, lost. "I couldn't help it. Dr. Weber offered at my appointment this
morning." We laid back, holding him over us.

"No way."

Pointing and detailing, she shared the reality of everything we'd hoped for. "Isn't
he pretty…" Nudging my tight, tired arm playfully, I caught her in a soft kiss.
Deepening, our lips desperate, a cathartic and silent release of love. "He's going
to be okay…" She whispered at my mouth.

"Yeah." I pushed her dark waves, slightly shorter, from her beautiful face. "It's a
boy…" She nodded, smiling the reassurance I usually gave.

"Oh, I have two exams next week and study group on Sunday. I don't know if I
can come out to watch Sunday night," she pouted sympathetically.

"I'm just throwing balls. You need to study." Rolling her eyes and smirking, she
pushed my t-shirt up and off. I reactively opened her robe, needing to feel. As I
smoothed over her growing tummy, she fell back, sighing.

"I like your balls…" Grinning against her sweet skin, we laughed together. Her
fingers began their habitual dance to ease the ache. "How's your shoulder?"
Though barely edging the pain, I melted at her soothing touch.

"This may be it, baby. Double A, the minors might be the end game."

"You don't know that. Hey…" Cradling my face, she searched and smiled.
"They've already moved you up once." My drive had waned, wanting made me
weary. Bella and I already survived forever and a day on love. Our only true need
was each other, the baby reminded us of that…

I rolled her hip, urging to the side. Dusting hair behind her freckled shoulder, I
left a wet trail of kisses along the most gorgeous arched neck. Rough, battered
fingers ran the outside of her soft thigh as her ass teased, rotating against my
hardening length. "Yes?" Tugging her earlobe with my teeth, hands slid beneath
and between.

"Mmmm… yes. I missed you," she breathed, tipping her head. She grazed and
tasted along my jaw with warm lips, tongue. Making love was our magic… our
quiet moment of perfect in the wild rush and effort of life.

~BtU~

"Where's Mommy," I asked, settling Sam on my lap. Taking the end of a bottom
bleacher, I searched for Bella in the sea of flat, dark graduation caps. The small
community college commencement packed an even smaller Southern Baptist
gymnasium with proud families. I craned and focused, shifting our almost year
old son to balance on strong, busy feet.

"There she is, Sammy. Look... Look at your smart, beautiful mommy." I pointed,
Bella waved. Glowing bright with excitement, she beamed confident. I blew a kiss
with his small hand in mine to reciprocate. Bella smiled, wrinkling her nose
watching Sam wield his wide green-eyed charm on the elderly woman next to
me. I smoothed his dark curls over and back, smirking against the top of his
head.

"Excuse me, are you… Edward Cullen?" A young, blond haired boy tugged at my
white dress shirt from the aisle stairs. A man, I assumed to be his father, kneeled
behind him, holding a thick black pen.

"Yeah, hey buddy. What's your name?"

"Jason," he mumbled, staring at my hands.

"We were at the ball game last night, but missed the warm-up autographs," the
father explained, chuckling.

I felt over my pockets with one hand, corralling Sam with the other. Grabbing a
spare program off the bleacher, I penned a short message, while my young son
climbed over and around my shoulders.

"Thanks a lot," the father said with a masculine handshake and a nod. "Hope
you're enjoyin' it here in Jackson. You doin' the kids pitching camp again this
summer? Jason's finally old enough."

"Yeah? Well then I guess we'll see you on the mound." I offered my fist for a
friendly bump as they walked away.

Eight years and some days since the last time she held a diploma, she grasped
the new one a little tighter. We had a glimpse into more, into plenty… settled and
thriving in a small community, a place we found, a place we made. Slow and
measured since our Sam was born… we savored. Life was uneven, no promises…
we'd practiced and learned. We knew exactly what we wanted to take away…

a/n

Thank you for reading xo

Warm and happy hugs for our amazing friends Obsmama and FFpassion. You
made the details special. Love you xo

Huge thanks and mad love to our friends at TLS for the endless encouragement.
xx

Beneath the Undertow was nominated for an Avant Garde Award... thank you
very much to the anonymous and wonderful nominator :)

For every tweet, rec, post and beyond for this short love story we are very
grateful.

Outbound, our multi chapter love story will post in late summer. The first chapter
will be included in the Fandom for Sexual Assualt Awareness charity collaboration.

Please take a peek at the gorgeous teaser video Jaime created on our profile
page.

And so it goes... our young loves are set and settled, loving and living. Please say
hi or farewell... xxoo

Beneath the Undertow, Chapter 5

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6968728/5/Beneath_the_Undertow

By aftrnoondlight

Author of 5 Stories 1. Chapter 12. Chapter 23. Chapter 34. Epilogue5. Tread An
Outtake

Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort - Edward & Bella - Reviews: 405 - Updated:
06-09-11 - Published: 05-06-11 - Complete - id:6968728

Share

Tread

Outtake

from Edward

"I haven't seen your folks in over a month. What… since signing day?" Coach
shuffled past, rounding the desk. His large, sun damaged hand splayed against
the door, shoving to close.

"Dad's been working like crazy since they added that new hospital wing. He's
taking Mom to Portland this weekend to visit my grandmother, though."

"Well, I know how it goes working too much. Second job over at the timber mill's
killing me… but we do what we gotta do." His voiced trailed, somber. He knew
hardship deeper than my father. Hard spring rain pounded the athletic office
window. Ramble of freshman prospects he planned to preen filled our usual
Friday afternoon sit down.

Stretching, adjusting to the ache in my shoulder, I noticed Bella peeking through
the doorway crack. She bounced on the heels of her plaid rain boots to see and
focus. I toed it open further, Billy's voice faded into the background. I winked,
coaxing a small smile… barely.

"Edward…"

"Yeah?" Sensing my distraction he pulled the door back, grinning suspiciously.
Bella offered a short, humiliated wave.

"There she is," Billy teased, gesturing. "Come in, come in." She moved quietly,
teetering on the arm of my chair. "Bella, how are your folks doing?"

"Okay… they're okay, I guess." I nudged at the flat response. "They both work
nights now, so I don't see them too much." Billy nodded sympathetically, sighing.

"I bet they're proud of our boy here… letter of intent to UW and all."

"Sure. Yeah, definitely." She forced a smile, I knew. "We all are." Roughly
mussing my hair, she shifted to stand, seemingly anxious to escape.

"Alright kids, out you go… let's get the weekend started. See you at practice,
Edward."

Bella paced a measure ahead. Tugging her backpack, I slowed her to stop.
"Hey…" I smoothed my hand from her back to her neck, gently stroking. Her eyes
darted around the hallway as it cleared. "What's going on?"

She blew a deep exhale and quickly kissed my cheek. "Nothing, just tired."

"You've been weird all week. Talk to me," I urged. Her mood was unfamiliar,
constant. She looked down, her muddy boot lightly stomping over mine. I lifted
her chin, our eyes met. "I know what you need…" I smirked with a suggestive
brow. "And we've got my house to ourselves for two nights." Rolling her eyes,
she smiled, warming. "I can take my time…" We startled as the school janitor
rolled around the corner.

"Come on." She pulled at my grey varsity t-shirt, biting her lip.

"That's what I thought," I whispered at her temple, crushing her playfully under
my arm as we headed through the double doors, into the storm.

~BtU~

"So you two get to play house all weekend?" Seth teased, sinking into the dark
leather sofa next to Lauren. My hands tightened around Bella's waist. She sat
oddly tensed in my lap, peeling the label on a full beer bottle. I tickled along the
waist of her jeans, pulling her tighter against me. Nuzzling a soft kiss at the base
of her neck, she squirmed.

"Oh, Bella, did you do that roommate preference thing on your housing
application for next year?" Lauren asked.

"No… I haven't gotten that far yet. I'm still waiting on financial aid stuff." She
shrugged, distant. "Guys, I'm going to go lay down. I've had a wicked headache
all day." A lie, I wondered. Her hand slipped from mine as she stood. Seth and
Lauren shifted. "No, stay, keep Edward company… seriously."

"Is she okay?" Lauren whispered as Bella disappeared up the stairs. "I totally saw
her crying in the library."

"What… when?"

"Yesterday, I mean just a little. Maybe it's something with her parents. My dad
says her dad's a complete asshole."

"He's not that bad…" Distracted, I collected take out boxes.

"Alright man, go take care of your girl. We're gonna knock off," Seth said,
offering a casual fist bump. "Lifting early tomorrow, right?"

"I'll be there. Hopefully my fucking shoulder will settle down." I stretched, his
eyes narrowed.

"Don't fuck around, man. You still gotta earn that fancy full ride."

"Yeah, yeah…" He waved in response, walking down the driveway, jumping
behind Lauren as she squealed.

I pulled my t-shirt up and over as I moved up the stairs, lightening, thunder still
punishing. Softly opening my bedroom door, I found Bella curled under the down
duvet. I worked the buttonfly down on my jeans, dropping them on the carpet
and climbed in behind her. She melted as I wrapped around. Long sleeves and
sweat pants, I fought to find my favorite flawless skin. "Why are you all covered
up in here?" I trailed my nose along her neck, nipping as my hands gently
wandered.

"'Cause I'm cold, it's cold… it's always fucking cold here." Tasting, tugging on her
earlobe, I waited for the reactive quiver. Instead, she turned suddenly in my
arms. "Hey, let's just go. Let's run away…to Florida. It's never cold in Florida. We
could just disappear."

I tucked dark strands behind her ear, processing. "Babe, what's going on?" She
buried, I cradled protectively. "You better tell me." She shook her head, hidden.
"I think its lack of sex." I flipped her over quickly in jest, hovering. Pressing my
thigh at her center, I hoped. "Feel good?" I leaned catching her lobe with my
teeth, tugging gently. She reactively ran soft hands around my neck, her fingers
smoothing slowly, then turned away. "Come on, Bella. It's been days, and we've
been looking forward to this." I forced her gaze, stroking my thumbs along her
jaw. "I'll go slow. There's no rush tonight. And you can even scream." A gentle
kiss, she arched slightly, the faintest giggle. "I'll do that thing you love…" A
naughty smirk, I grazed lips at her temple.

"You will not…" A brief challenging smile morphed into a deep exhale. Ignoring
the anxious implication, I tucked under the duvet, lower.

"I will. And you'll love it, like you always do." I peppered teasing, wet kisses over
and around her navel. Gripping my shoulders, digging nails, she twisted.

"Stop, Edward… please. I'm just not in the mood," she pleaded.

"Okay… okay…" I fell, defeated. "But you have to promise all out drunk sex
tomorrow night," I joked, pathetic and frustrated.

"Hold me?" Her voice fragile as she rolled back on her side… away.

"You know I will." Tangling legs, she held tight to my arms around as we drifted.

~BtU~

I felt before I heard… warm hands, fingers feathering through my hair, soft lips at
my forehead. "Edward, are you awake?"

"Mmmmm, I love when you do that." My voice and head heavy, but so
appreciating her touch. "I am now." She guided my head to rest on her chest.

The storm still raged beyond the dark windows. I ran slow patterns under her
shirt over her bare stomach.

"Do you think we'll ever have a house like this?"

"Do you want a house like this?"

"I…I don't know."

"Well…" I gazed up, her eyes sleepy. "If everything goes as planned... I'll be able
to give you everything and anything you want."

"What is this plan?"

"Well… UW, then probably, hopefully… the majors... the Yankees… a big church
wedding… then three boys and one girl." Her fingers dug and pulled, she shivered
fighting tears. "Okay, no Yankees. That's right you want to move to Florida." I
laughed lightly, but regretted as she heaved.

"Bella, please… Baby, tell me what's wrong," I begged, sitting and grabbing,
desperate. I quickly turned the lamp low next to the bed. Her tears were furious,
she worked over her flushed cheeks with trembling hands.

"Edward… I'm late. I didn't get my period yet and you have a plan, and you're
supposed to play baseball, and we're going to school and I might be
pregnant…God, I'm so sorry." Stunned, my heart plummeted. I brought a fist to
my mouth, stifling. Pregnant.

She leaped off the bed, tugging at her hair, biting her nails. "Calm down, Bella.
Fuck." I stood to hold. "Did you take a test yet?"

"No, but I'm always so regular."

"I should have realized. Shit, baby. I've been so in my own fucking head lately.
All these college scouts…" Dread settled low and fierce.

"I was afraid to buy a test anywhere in town, everyone fucking gossips, if my dad
found out… god and your parents…" She sat, suddenly so frail and pitiful. "We
aren't always careful, Edward. I'm not blaming you, but like in your truck the
other day… you were so amped up and horny after that game. Remember?"
Panic, fear ignited. I braced, pulling her back to me. She brushed her wet face
along my bare chest.

"Okay… shhhh…" I soothed, steadying. I glanced at the bedside clock. Pulling
away, I framed her face. "Listen…"

"What are we going to do…" She interrupted, hysterical and terrified, I tightened
my grip.

"Listen to me. We're going to drive to Aberdeen, they have a twenty-four hour
drug store. My dad calls prescriptions in there after hours. We need to know for
sure. Tonight."

I drove just over the limit in silence, save for the rattle of Bella's window. She
stared into the darkness, legs tucked. "Come here." I gestured. Sliding over
cautiously, she curled into my side. "Buckle your seatbelt." The rain slowed,
dancing across the windshield as we barreled down the two lane county road.

"I'm scared."

I leaned to kiss, whispering against her forehead. "I know. I'm here."

~BtU~

Weary from the hour and reality, we stumbled back into the house just before
dawn. The stiff brown paper pharmacy bag crackled under my grip, echoing
through the foyer. Bella stilled at the bottom stair. I turned, our eyes met. "It's
okay." She shook her head, stepping back and away. Dropping the bag, I pressed
her to the wall. We stared within a breath, dusting my thumbs under her jaw,
calming. Our lips brushed, soft, sure. Reminding, we were us… The next touch a
little deeper, our tongues swirled slow, brief before I pulled back, nipping gently
at her lower lip. "I promise, it's okay," I mouthed, she nodded, twisting a fistful of
my sweatshirt.

I waited, she disappeared, the bathroom door closing behind her. Resting
forward, knees supporting my elbows, reality loomed. My worst fear realized in
hurting Bella. I promised our first night, never would I hurt her. A life, trophies
and wins surrounded and menaced. Surrendering to the weight of worry, I fell
back on my bed. Staring at a blank ceiling, I prayed silently… selfishly.

"Should I… bring this out here?" I sat immediately; Bella was frozen in the
doorway holding our truth. I held my hand out to her, urging.

"Come sit down. How long do we wait?"

"A few minutes," she mumbled, as I pulled her into my lap. She rested her head
against mine, damp eyelashes brushing. We breathed, lost in our own thoughts
and wonder, but still, always rooted in each other. I rubbed over her back,
caressing, supporting tenderly. The moments would forever impact our lives, our
parents… defining us. My scholarship… my pitching, Bella… I squeezed, lacing our
fingers.

"Hey," I nuzzled. "We're going to figure this out together. I love you, Bella and
this doesn't change anything."

"I don't deserve you, Edward." She shook her head, gasping through her fearful
sobs. I kissed her gently, once and again then glanced at the clock.

She opened her palm…

~BtU~

"Is there room for me?" My mother's voice startled. I scooted further down the
white painted bench with a brave smile. "No sign of her yet?"

I gazed down the pebbled drive of the church into an autumn sun and shook my
head… no. Reactively, my mother wrapped her arm around my back, gently
squeezing the perpetually pained shoulder. She stared at the same quiet
driveway. "Well, there's plenty of time. Pastor Black's not in any hurry. Especially
on a Friday afternoon…"

We sat warmed by a late September afternoon, an Indian summer day of sorts.
"Thank you for this… for everything else too. I know Dad gave you a lot of crap.
He's disgusted with me. And I know… this is last thing you want to be doing…
today… or ever…" She sighed, smiling so calm… a pillar at the most unexpected
time.

"Aww. I think we would have been here doing this one day… You're going to be
wonderful parents, Edward." I scoffed and shrugged. Falling slowly into a new

confidence wasn't easy for either of us. "You know why?" I met my mother's kind,
giving blue eyes. "Because you love each other… and because you want to be.
You want to be good parents, together."

"I do love her, Mom." We waited quietly, as some soul settling moments passed.

Eventually, I sat alone running idle hands though freshly trimmed hair. Native
pines and oaks rustled in a cleansing breeze. I unbuttoned, loosened my dark tie
slightly and lingered a finger along my collar. A rumble in the distance, my heart
raced. Bella's Honda finally pulled forward, too fast. I met her with an open door.
"Why are you alone?" Full cardboard boxes, running shoes, books and a pillow
littered the back seat.

"Hello, you look handsome," she greeted, forcibly giddy, ignoring my concern. We
embraced, pausing over lips. I smiled against hers, tugging the thick waves down
her back.

"Answer me," I insisted, as she smoothed out her short white eyelet dress. I
pulled at the yellow sash hanging over her swollen belly. "Where are your…"

"Do you like my dress?" She beamed, blushed and natural. "I actually feel kinda
pretty."

"That's why I picked this one. You look beautiful." I held her close, swaying
barely. "Where are your parents, Bella?" I whispered at her ear. Pulling back, she
straightened my collar avoiding my stare.

"We had a fight." I reactively kissed her forehead, cradling the back of her head.
"They aren't coming."

"Okay. That's okay." We held hands, moving towards the small church entrance. I
would forever remember her courage in that moment. "Mom's inside with Pastor
Black."

"Good. Let's do this."

"Yeah, let's…"

~BtU~

The small, brass bell chimed at the door of Olympic Oven. Bella returned from her
car, hurrying towards our small round white iron table in the corner carrying a
large, wrapped gift. "For you." Falling into her chair, she leaned close, eager and
glowing.

"What's this?" I teased.

"A wedding present."

"From who?" I was relentless, she pinched.

"From your wife."

"Oh. Really? Okay then." I pulled thin, blue ribbon as two slices of butterscotch
cake arrived. Bella leaned, gorgeous face resting on her hand, watching. Lifting
the top of the square box, I grinned surprised. "This is really great, babe."
Smoothing over the black leather collectors album, she blushed.

"You really like it? I wasn't sure which one to get. I know you have hundreds of
cards. Maybe you can use it for only the valuable ones. I don't know. This was

just so beautiful. Like something that would last forever. You know?" Pulling,
dusting wanting, grateful lips, we sighed.

"Yeah… I know," I whispered at her parted mouth. She narrowed her eyes,
realizing. We laughed… cathartic, together.

"You're a cheese ball. A sexy, silly cheese ball."

"So, are we supposed to feed each other the first bite of this or what?" I held
both forks, digging at each slice.

"We can do that… as soon as Kate pastry puff whatshername quits staring at
you." Rolling eyes, I forced a bite.

"Shut up."

"What? She is," Bella mumbled full, wiping the corner of her perfect mouth.
"She's been drooling over you since seventh grade."

"I didn't notice. I was too busy staring at another girl."

"Who?" She played along, cleaning her plate.

"Do you want the rest of mine?" Considering, she tightened the sash above her
pregnant tummy, twisting her mouth.

"No, I should probably watch my girly figure." Wrinkling her nose, dark eyes
danced.

"Hmmm. Speaking of that… you know…" I nuzzled, ignoring the curious
customers. "I haven't seen your hot, girly figure in a very, very long time."

"You see my bare, giant belly every few weeks at the doctor." Oblivious, she dove
in to finish my slice. I blew gently below her ear, sucking lightly on the tiny pearl
drop.

"No, baby. All of you," I hushed, she shivered wide eyed.

"Well, you're in luck." She tasted, nipping at my top lip. "It just so happens to be
your wedding night, so…"

"Excuse me, did you need anything else? We're locking up now," Kate
interrupted, studying.

"Thanks. No, we're finished." I stacked our plates, sliding.

"Did you guys just get married, for real?" She scoffed.

"For real," Bella mouthed sarcastically, thumbing over her ring finger. I squeezed
her knee, smiling at Kate politely.

"We did, about an hour ago."

"Wow. Congratulations. I mean I knew… well everyone knew about the baby
obviously… but…" My arched brow quieted Kate's nervous nonsense. Bella stood,
clearing her throat.

"Edward, should we take something for your mom and dad?"

"No, they won't be there." We moved to leave, her warm hand in mine. Stronger
together, weathering the obnoxious glare... "I have a surprise for you." I grabbed
my wife's ass for Kate's entertainment as we walked through the door.

~BtU~

She led, I followed…. moving from room to room as the sun set, silently awed.
She took in the simple furniture, warm and ours. "Well… what do you think?" I
wrapped from behind as she stared through the picture window in our new
bedroom. Her head tipped, rolling.

"It's too much. We can't pay for this."

"It's ours. Free and clear. We have to do the rest, of course. But they wanted to
do something to help."

"They?" She turned in my arms, challenging, knowing.

"Fine, my mom…my mom wanted to do something. This house was just sitting
empty since they moved my grandmother to the center in Portland. So…" I
shrugged, sliding my hands up, tangling through dark waves.

"She's done so much already… the doctor, the ceremony… all we've done is let
them down." Teasing thumbs over her cheeks, I leaned lower, capturing a tender
kiss. She gripped my waist, balancing close was new and different. I laughed
lightly against her lips.

"That's enough of that for now…" Tilting, my tongue made a wet path along her
jaw, before gently tasting the sensitive skin below her ear. "Can we… Are you
ready?" A faint moan, she nodded slightly. Trailing up her arms, around and
down her back, I searched for a row of buttons. She caught my mouth, a kiss
more insistent. Tugging my tie, she quickly pulled the half windsor free, letting it
fall to the wood floor. Working my buttons open, I still fumbled. "What the hell,
baby? How do I get this off you?"

Giggling, easy and painfully perfect, she lifted her arm pointing to the small line
of cream buttons down the side. "It's fancy and pretty. Remember, you picked it
out."

Growling, frustrated, I batted her away playfully. Finally sliding the eyelet down, I
knelt briefly. As my hands moved along curves, I pulled her panties down.
Caressing over the swell of our son, I glanced up. Our eyes met, knowing. "God,
you're amazing. I…"

Cupping my chin, she urged me to stand. Pushing her thin straps off her
shoulders, she quivered as I stared. "I love you…" She breathed. I shook my
head, overwhelmed. Where we were, before and then... I traced the shape of her
lips as she tugged open my dress pants and pushed my shirt from my shoulders.

My erection evident, strained against the fabric of my boxers, Bella admired with
a lip habitually caught in her teeth. I turned us closer to the bed's edge. I pushed
my boxers down and away, freeing, stroking over and again before sitting down.
Lacing her fingers in mine, I pulled her between my legs. "So how do we do this?"

She reactively covered her belly, shaking with laughter. I stifled mine to taunt.
She covered her mouth, wide eyed. "I'm sorry." Soft hands tugged, gently
through my hair. "But god… you're right, Edward. It's been too long." She
crawled up and over as I pushed further back. Placing legs on either side of my
thighs, she inched forward, my cock between. Framing my face, she rested her

forehead at mine. Eyes fluttered to close, we just were… intentional in the
moment. Dusting my forehead with soft lips, the most gentle kisses, then my
nose, over my eyes, finally my mouth as I fell flat. Lifting her hips, reaching
between us, she grasped and positioned. We breathed, staring through the
connection. She gripped the pillow beneath me, testing, rotating.

"You okay?" I smoothed up her soft thighs, fighting the impulse to thrust, to rush.

"Mmmm, it feels really good… I just, I'm not sure what…" Desperate, innocent in
the different, we adjusted.

"Hold my hands." Support to move, to swivel… I stared as she took control, with
a slow rise and fall. I reveled in the sight of pink flushed skin, small gasps and
that smile… worshipping and grateful.

Needing… she braced behind, fingers digging into my thighs for leverage.
"Baby…" She begged, I knew. While she found a comfortable rhythm, pace
quickening, my fingers wandered over fuller breasts. I rolled and swirled
fingertips over her tender nipples, as the familiar, delicious burn began. "Please…
Please, Edward."

My other hand worked lower, rubbing and circling. "Bella…" I whispered as her
rocking became erratic.

"Yes… God, yes." Withering over me, moaning softly, she peaked… beautiful. I
thrust up, taking over, guiding. My hands trembled at her hips, as I tipped,
furiously pulsing as we stared.

Our breathing slowed, she lifted, falling to me. Purple, golden light and shadows
set from the early evening illuminated the space. "How was that?" I asked as she
tucked under my arm.

"Intense." Feathering patterns across my chest, she laughed.

"You've laughed so much today, it's good to hear." She propped, I pushed damp,
wild hair away from my favorite face.

"It's better than all the damn crying I've done the last six months. I've been so
annoying." Wrinkling her nose, she cringed.

"Understandable… and I'll take you either way, if we can keep doing that," I
teased wide-eyed. A slug to my arm, a wet, sloppy kiss on my mouth… we
smiled, exhaled. "I have to work tomorrow to make up for today."

"I know." Facing each other, angled on sides, our fingers lay laced between. "How
would you feel about me working at the high school? I mean after the baby's
born. Mrs. Hale is apparently retiring."

"That could be good," I sighed. "I know it's not what you want to do. We're going
to get you into that nursing program if it kills me."

"Quit thinking about that." She rolled, staring away. "Lauren called yesterday…
from UW."

"Yeah? What'd she have to say?" I forced her back, warming my hand over her
cheek.

"Wishing us luck for the wedding. That's all. Telling me about her dorm room and
a concert…"

"Were you jealous?" I wondered, worried. She shrugged, honest.

"A little… maybe. I don't know." Our sated glow faded, ever so slightly. "Aren't
you? Be serious." I paused, measuring carefully.

"Sure. But, Bella, it is what it is. We're here. They're there…" She suddenly
smirked, tickling, attempting to salvage the mood.

"And… Lauren doesn't have the two best guys in the world, but I do. So I win."
Our hands stacked, soothing over our baby. "He needs a name."

"Yes, he does. Hit me with some… I'll repeat them in my best stadium announcer
voice. Just, you know to see how they sound."

"Oh god." She laughed, falling back covering her eyes.

"What? Don't think he won't be on that practice field everyday. I've got big plans
for him."

"Well I don't care what he does, or plays… as long as he has your heart." Silence
and thought, we burst… hysterical. I pulled her close, licking and tasting swollen
lips.

"Now who's the cheese ball? Hmmm?"

"Stop it. You do have the best heart, Edward." Running my nose along hers, I
cradled all that was mine. "I love you," she breathed.

"I love you, too. And I really love these and their new… shape…" I teased,
appreciating every inch of plumped porcelain skin. Kissing shoulder to fingertip,
ankle to thigh in the quiet and peace of our small borrowed home.

And so we'd forge forward, resilient, resolute. Together, we'd navigate the
unknown… the new, tending naturally, deeply… always.