Bruises fade.
A cut can be bandaged,
A broken bone healed.
But can a wounded heart mend?
Deeply damaged by her father's abandonment when she was thirteen
years old, Rainey Miller has let the fear of getting hurt shape and trap
her to the point she refuses to connect with people on a deeper level.
She is popular and has friends, but her strict dating rules prevent
anyone from the chance to touch her heart.
Up and coming boxer, Logan Danvers, has his eyes set on the
raven-haired beauty with the cerulean eyes. No matter how hard she
tries to push him away, he will push back even harder. Until she gives
in. Until she is his.
Because once he sets his eyes on what he wants, he doesn't give up. It's
who he is.
But what will he do when he realizes it's not who he is but what he is
that could cost him his chance with Rainey? Will he give up or will he
find a way to make her realize she is The Girl Worth Fighting For?
Bruises fade.
A cut can be damaged.

A broken bone healed.
But when you know someone you love
Doesn't care...
That is a wound you cannot recover from.
Or can you?

Chapter 1
Ten Years Ago
The Night That Changed Everything
ALL I COULD HEAR WAS the roar in the arena, people screaming
and shouting, chanting my father's name. I watched on the screen as he
walked to the ring and was a little relieved that I wasn't sitting in the
crowd. Even from back here the noise was overwhelming, the
anticipation so intense it was almost scary. I was sitting in front of the
TV in the small room across the hall from the dressing rooms, away
and out of sight of the actual goings-on, tucked away safely with my
nanny, Mona, watching over me. I had begged and begged my parents
to let me be here, so I could be there for Dad, but the only concession
my mother was willing to make was letting me watch the fight on the
screen in the catacombs of the huge Las Vegas arena.
My stomach flip-flopped as I watched my dad step through the ropes
and enter the ring to defend his Light Heavyweight title. I watched in
happy anticipation as he took his robe off and handed it to his trainer,
then kept watching and waiting for him to do what he always did: lift
his glove-clad right hand first to his chest then to his lips to blow me a
kiss as he stared straight into the camera. It was our ritual. It was his
way of telling me that he got this and I didn't have to be worried.
Because I always was and he knew it. I was scared for him to get hit too
many times, terrified that he would get seriously hurt. I was a daddy's
girl. I loved my dad more than anything in the world and couldn't stand
seeing him get hit. Which made his being a pro boxer hard since he got
punched pretty much every day. To fight my fears and worry, my dad
had taken

me to the gym almost every day since I was six, watching for the first
few months, then learning and training myself. I could count myself
lucky to be trained by association by one of the best teams out there and
to have a world champion father as my dad. I was only fourteen years
old now, but I probably knew way more about boxing than most adults
in this arena. And practicing the sport myself helped a lot. Knowing all
about it, knowing about Dad's strengths and his defense tactics did help
alleviate my fears, though it didn't mean I stopped worrying
completely.
Now this was usually where Mona would turn off the TV and turn on a
movie in the hopes of distracting me. Which never worked, of course. It
only made me more nervous. Or so I'd thought. The nervous energy
swirling inside me now made my heart beat in my throat and my hands
sweaty. I fidgeted on the couch beside Mona, willing the fight to finally
start so it would be over sooner.
"It's gonna be okay, Rainey. He's got this. He always does," Mona
reassured me.
"I know," I whispered. "It's just.. .that guy looks so mean and big." And
he did. I knew he couldn't be heavier than my dad since they were
fighting in the same class, but he looked huge. And the expression on
his face couldn't be described as anything but hostile, which escalated
my nervousness even further.
He looked like he was out for blood.
Finally, the bell rang and the fight began.
They started off slow during the first round, both testing each other,
trying to work around each other's defense. I shouted, "Yes!" and, "Get
him, Dad! " whenever he landed a hit, and flinched every time a jab got
through his defense and landed in his face or ribs. My mom was right;
this was so very different from anything I had seen during any of the
training sessions, even the ones during the past few months when his
training went up a notch and he started fighting his partners almost for
real in the practice ring. In the fifth round, blood started to flow on both
their faces. I hid behind my hands when my dad's lip split open, then
jumped up cheering and shouting when he countered with a quick left
hook to his opponent's temple in revenge, drawing blood as well.
It was looking good. Even though they were only in the fifth round,

I knew my dad was winning. He won at least three of those rounds and
was leading this one as well. Though they were evenly matched in their
technique and power, my dad was faster. His fighter name was Rapid
for a reason. He was going to win this fight. I was sure of it. And so was
he, I could tell. A huge grin spread across my face then turned into a
flinch when out of nowhere, a vicious right hook caught him at the side
of the head, right on the temple, and he stumbled backwards. He shook
his head and kept moving, but I could see something wasn't right.
Before he could shake it off, he caught another hook in the exact same
spot.
"Put your fists up!" I shouted. "Up, Dad! Put them up!" But it was no
use. I watched helplessly as he got pummelled over and over again. I
checked the clock counting backwards at the bottom of the screen:
twenty seconds until the bell. "Come on, Dad! Come on! " I was crying
now as I kneeled in front of the TV. "No, no, no, no, no," I whispered.
Then with one last hit it was over.
My heart stopped as I watched him go down and he landed face first on
the canvas, his body bouncing until he lay there unmoving, his eyes
closed, blood streaming down his face.
"No," I whimpered, my heart breaking at seeing my dad like that,
beaten and defeated, hurt. Then Mona snatched me up in her arms and
buried my face against her chest. "Dad," I cried.
That night was the worst night of my life.
It was the night everything changed.

Chapter 2
Rainey
"OH MY GOD! LOOK AT HIM!"
I rolled my eyes at hearing the girls swooning and giggling yet again. I
was on my way to Lizzy's office and passed the common room, where a
group of girls was sitting on the couch, staring at the object of their
fascination: Logan Danvers, our newest, high-profile volunteer.
If I looked at it objectively, I could see where they were coming from.
Logan was hot. No doubt about it. He was six feet (at least that was my
guess) of pure muscle, with dark blond hair and blazing, blue eyes. The
jeans and shirts he wore always fit him perfectly, too perfectly. And his
smile. Jeez, if I allowed myself to go there, that smile could be my
undoing: it was perfectly straight, showing off his equally perfect white
teeth; it was warm and looked sincere. And those dimples. Jesus, I didn'
t know that dimples could be sexy on a man. I had always thought they
were too boyish to be attractive, but on Logan's handsomely chiselled
face they were sexy.
But he and I could never happen. I had a rule I lived by, a rule I
wouldn't break for anyone. I knew men like him, arrogant and
self-righteous men who fucked everything up if things didn't go their
way—or even when they did. The risk was just too high. I had been
subjected to that once already in my life, had been helpless and too
scared to do anything about it, then disappointed and angry and so
many other things I don't need or want to revisit. Ever. I had sworn to
myself to never end up in that position again. So there was no way
Logan and I would ever get involved, no matter how hard he tried.
And he had tried.
Oh boy, had he ever.
Every day he showed up at the shelter and tried to charm me into

going out with him or talking to him, but I brushed him off. Every.
Single. Time. In the beginning, I had politely declined, but as he kept at
me, I had become ruder and ruder. Now, I was almost hostile.
I wasn't a rude person in general. I was actually nice and understanding,
compassionate and caring. That was one of the reasons why I wanted to
work with underprivileged children and had ended up studying Social
Services. I had been hired by this shelter in the bad part of Boston right
after I graduated from college two years ago, and loved it. I loved to be
able to make a difference in the kids' lives. No, it wasn't all roses and
rainbows. Far from it. But if I could make one kid feel safe even for a
few hours a day, that was all I wanted. So no, I wasn't a rude person.
But Logan pushed my buttons the wrong way, and I couldn't help but
lash out at him whenever he tried to chat me up.
You'd think he would have got the hint by now, but he was the most
persistent and frustrating male I had ever turned down. Usually, a few
snide remarks or the silent treatment after the initial letdown worked
wonders, but not with Logan. He seemed to find my behavior amusing
and only came after me harder, as if I were some kind of challenge,
which in return fueled my anger more.
I was no one's challenge.
I walked down the hallway to Lizzy's office without looking at Logan,
even though I could feel his eyes on me, knocked on her door, then
opened it when I heard her say, "Come in."
Lizzy was a beauty in the true sense of the word. Her green eyes
sparkled at me with annoyance when I closed the door behind me and
sat down in front of her desk in the free chair beside the object of her
annoyance: her husband Cole. Cole and Lizzy got married in July, just
a few months ago. Without asking what was going on, I already knew
why Lizzy was annoyed. She was five months pregnant and her
protective and overbearing husband was driving her up the wall. It was
a daily occurrence. Cole would come in at some point during the day to
check on his wife and baby, make sure she had eaten, even bring some
kind of healthy food or a smoothie. In the beginning, Lizzy had been
happy and delighted with her husband, but it didn't take long for that
happiness to

turn into frustration. I didn't blame her. Cole was a great man, perfect
for Lizzy. He loved her with everything he was and would do anything
in his power to make her happy. Anyone could see that by the way he
looked at her and by the way he treated her every day. Every minute of
the day. But he could also be an idiot.
Lizzy was an independent woman, a spitfire. She and I had that in
common, which is probably why we got along so well. We understood
each other and didn't take offense. Cole knew this about her. They had
grown up together, and I'd heard enough stories about his frustrations
with her stubbornness and need for independence. That hadn't changed
just because they were married. It was hilarious to watch on most
occasions, but I could tell by the look on her face that Lizzy was on the
verge of exploding.
"Liz." Cole's voice was reprimanding. Lizzy's eyes snapped from me to
her husband. Oh dear. Now he had done it.
"Let it go, Cole." That was a warning. Probably not the first one she had
given him, judging by her seething tone.
"I' m not gonna let this go. You need to—"
"I don't need to do shit, Cole. I swear to God, if you don't let this go
right now, I will move out until this baby is born." Yowza. That was a
low blow, but I could tell she was serious.
"In fact," her eyes came back to me, "Rainey, you live all alone in that
cute house of yours. Mind some company for the next four months?"
My eyes bulged. Why is she pulling me into this? Before I could react
though, Cole's eyes narrowed on his wife as he ground out, "You and
my baby aren't going anywhere. You belong with me. In our house.
End of story."
They were locked in a glaring contest. "Back off. I mean it."
I considered my chances of sneaking out without being noticed when
Cole broke the stare down and sighed, disgruntled. "All right, I'll back
off." Then he got up and went around the desk. He cupped Lizzy's face
tenderly, as if they hadn't just been in a massive argument, and kissed
her deeply. I averted my eyes and smiled to myself. Those two were
completely crazy.
"I love you," I heard Cole whisper softly. "No matter what. Never

forget that."
"I love you too. And I won't," Lizzy murmured back.
When I looked up again, I saw Cole's head bent over Lizzy's stomach.
"And I love you, baby girl. Always and forever." Then he placed a kiss
right on her protruding cute little baby bump. My heart melted at the
same time it cracked. Memories flashed through my mind of my father
saying those exact words to me in a soft, loving, and adoring voice. By
the time I could shake it off, Cole had left the room and Lizzy's eyes
were on me.
"Are you okay?" she asked me, concern in her voice.
I plastered a smile on my face. "Of course I am."
Lizzy's eyes narrowed on me. "You know, you're a shitty liar,
Rainey. Spill."
I sighed.
This opening up to your girlfriends thing was still new for me. After
that fateful night ten years ago and with what happened after, I had
started to close myself off. I didn't make friends easily, didn't trust
people enough to share my feelings. But Lizzy and I had become good
friends, especially in the past year or so. She was like me: a
no-nonsense girl who didn' t have patience for fake people, who said
what she thought and did what she thought was right. It was refreshing.
There weren't many women like that out there. The only two friends I'd
had for so long were my mother and Ben, our neighbour, who had
become somewhat of a father figure to me, at least as much as I let him.
But they were the only two people I had trusted for so long that it was
hard for me to open up to anyone else. Lizzy understood, but she also
knew me well enough to know that I needed a little push every now and
then, that I needed someone to push me just right to share something.
Anything. Push, but not push too hard. Lizzy was a master at it, but
then again, I already trusted her. We had shared our stories with each
other, making her the only person aside from Ben who knew who I was.
"Cole is going to be a great father."
Her eyes softened on me. She understood. I knew she would. "Yeah,"
she whispered. Then her voice turned annoyed again when she said,
"But I swear to God, I'm gonna cut his balls off while he's

sleeping if he keeps this up. I'm not gonna go through this again." I
laughed. "So you're having a girl?"
Lizzy grinned. "Yes, we're having a girl. And let me tell you, ever since
we found out during our ultrasound last week, Cole has been even more
impossible. Now he has two girls to watch over. He's turned into the
specimen of male protectiveness. He's like a caveman. It's driving me
absolutely nuts! "
I laughed some more. "He'll get over it. And you're always welcome at
my house if you need a break. Though you'll probably have to sedate
him if you expect to actually stay the night. You know he'll just drag
you back to his bed."
Lizzy sighed, resigned. "I know. Fucking caveman." Now we both
laughed. "So what brings you to my office?"
"I was wondering if you were free for lunch?" I asked, trying to be
nonchalant.
Lizzy smirked at me. "Ah, let me guess. Logan is here." She threw me a
knowing smile, but I kept my face impassive. "So I'm gonna be your
excuse for fleeing the shelter so you can escape Logan's advances
again?"
I kept my eyes on her but didn't react to her taunting. I knew there was
no need to pretend she didn't know what was going on. We had talked
about it more than once. Still, I couldn't help myself.
"You know he's not gonna give up."
I shrugged.
"Rainey, don't you think—"
"No, I don't," I interrupted her. I had heard it before and wasn't about to
change my mind.
Lizzy sighed as she gave in. "Fine. Yes, I'm free for lunch. We should
ask Bobby to join us. It's been over a week since we all got together."
Bobby was another new friend I had gained this past year. She was an
attorney who only worked child abuse related cases. She was a shark,
known as such, and always fought for what was best for the children
involved. I admired her. I wanted to be her when I grew up.
"Sure. Sounds great. Chinese?"

"Ugh. You always want Chinese."
"And you don't?" I raised my eyebrows at her, challenging her to
disagree with me.
"You know I do, but I should really try harder to eat healthier
food."
"Nobody forces you to order the sticky, unhealthy stuff. Get some rice
and veggies."
Lizzy' s face turned into a grimace. I grinned, knowing that would
never happen. Another thing we had in common: we both loved food
and didn' t hide it.
"Meh. I'll have a side salad and get a fruit smoothie on the way
back."
"Yeah. That should make up for it," I said under my breath, earning me
a mock glare. I got up, smiling, and went to the door. "In an hour?"
"Yeah. Sounds good."
I left her office and went to the staff room to grab another coffee. I had
a lot of paperwork sitting on my desk and needed more caffeine to get
through it. I was still smiling when I turned the corner, but that smile
froze on my face when I saw who was standing by the coffee machine
fixing his own coffee.
"Has anyone ever told you that you have the most beautiful smile?"
Said smile faded quickly at his line and turned into a sneer. "Has
anyone ever told you that dumb pick-up lines only work on bimbos and
skanks who don't make enough use of their miniscule brain matter to
know better?"
Logan chuckled at my nasty remark, his eyes flashing with amusement.
"And you're extremely sexy when you're pretending to be a bitch."
That did it. What did a girl have to do to get rid of a guy she wasn't
interested in? "Ugh! What do I have to do? What will it take for you to
leave me alone?"
"Go out with me."
I rolled my eyes. "Going out with you would be the opposite of you
leaving me alone, now wouldn't it?" I replied sarcastically.
Logan just grinned. "Go out with me. One date. If you don't want

to see me again after that, I'll leave you alone."
I thought on that for a moment. Would it really be that easy? Go out
with him once to be rid of him? I doubted it. He wouldn't just accept it
if I told him to get lost after the date. He was too much of a cocky
bastard to be rejected like that, which was proven by his smirk and
self-assured glint in his eyes as he waited for my answer, my hesitation
undoubtedly giving him the impression he was getting somewhere.
Well, you can stick that grin up your ass!
"I' m not interested in spending any time with people like you, Logan,
no matter how little time it is."
His eyebrows went up in question. "People like me?"
"People like you. Boxers, fighters, athletes in general, musicians,
actors. Anyone who strives to make it big, be famous, and become rich.
Anyone who is ruthless enough to do anything to reach that goal and
throw a tantrum when things don't go their way."
Shit. I was babbling.
I clamped my mouth shut, wishing I hadn't opened it in the first place. It
was none of his business why I didn't want to go out with him. Jerk.
His eyebrows stayed raised, now in disbelief. "Wow. That's a little
judgmental, don't you think?"
I shrugged. "I don't care. It's my rule. You don't have to like it." Now,
go away.
Logan' s eyes were still on me, narrowed now, scrutinizing, reading me.
"So what you're saying is, you've been hurt by someone who falls into
that category; my guess would be by a boxer, judging by how instantly
your friendliness turned into indifference and rejection the second you
learned I box. You've been hurt by a boxer and promised yourself to
never go back there again." His eyes didn't move from my face, and I
knew I hadn't been quick enough to hide the pain in them. I turned my
back to him and busied myself with emptying the last of the coffee in
the carafe into my mug, then got on to the task of brewing more. It was
a rule at the shelter: if you dare take the last coffee, you better make
sure you brew more. I tried to ignore feeling Logan move in closer
behind me, but it was hard since I could literally feel his hot

breath on my neck.
"What did he do? Cheat on you?"
I laughed a bitter laugh and shook my head. "No, he didn't cheat on
me."
The air in the room turned heavy. "Did he hit you?" His voice was now
a low, angry growl. Flashes of shouting and glass flying, smashing
against the wall, ran through my mind's eye. I closed my eyes tightly to
shut them out. I had to get out of here, away from Logan.
I opened my eyes and turned around. I was now almost nose-to-nose
with him. He was too close. His bright blue eyes were piercing mine as
if they were trying to see into my soul to find all the answers there.
Not a chance.
I grabbed my mug from the counter and rounded him while I said, "It
doesn't matter, Logan. What matters is that you can give up. It's not
gonna happen."
He shook his head in frustration. "Why won't you answer my question?
Did that motherfucker hit you?" His eyes were blazing with fury. I
knew it wasn't directed at me, but it still made the hair on my neck stand
on end. I straightened my shoulders and narrowed my eyes at him,
determined not to let him get to me. My life was none of his
motherfucking business.
"It doesn't concern you. You're not part of my life, so you don't get to
know shit."
"I can see you think that," was his cryptic answer.
"So you're gonna leave me alone?" I asked hopefully as I stopped in the
doorway and turned around.
He shook his head again. "He live in Boston?"
Yeah, he did. Not that I kept track of him, but I knew he would never
leave this city. It's where he grew up. It was in his blood. But I wouldn't
share that with Logan. I stayed silent as I glared at him. This guy was
unbelievable.
His eyes roamed my face and his stance relaxed. Then he answered my
question. "Not a chance. I'm gonna let this go for now. But get me,
Rainey, I might not yet know what exactly that scumbag did to make
you

dislike 'people like me' so much, but I will find out. And once I do, I
will prove to you I' m better than him. Right after I pay him a visit and
teach him a lesson. Now that I know it's not me you don't like but what
I do for a living, I'll do anything I can to make you realize I'm not like
that asshole who screwed you over."
I shook my head and laughed bitterly once again. "Good luck with
that." Then I turned around and went to my office, closing the door
firmly behind me, but not before I heard him shout after me, "Mark my
words, Rainey Miller. I have connections. I will find out."
Dread settled in my gut at his words, but then I took a deep breath.
Cocky bastard.
Fine, let him try. He won't get very far.
The only people who knew about my past and who I was were my
mother, Ben, and Lizzy. My mother didn't talk about our past to anyone
but Ben and me, ever; Ben would never cross paths with Logan; and
Lizzy would never tell. I was carrying my mother's maiden name as my
last name; she had changed it back as soon as the divorce was final, as
per my father's request in the settlement, so Logan had no way of
finding out anything I didn't want him to know.
Relieved and reassured, I pushed him out of my mind and dove back
into work.
Logan
Logan watched as Rainey walked through the door and to her office,
and kept watching as she closed the door behind her without sparing
him another glance.
He had been fascinated by her from the moment he laid eyes on her,
before she had even noticed him. There was something about her. He
couldn't quite put his finger on it, but she unearthed feelings in him he
had never felt before. He had walked into the common room that day
almost a month ago and had stopped short at the sight in front of him.
Rainey had been sitting on the couch with her guitar on her lap, a
handful of kids sitting around her, their amazed and admiring eyes

watching her in awe as she played and sang a beautiful song. She was
so lost in the song that her eyes were closed and the emotions were
playing across her face: pain, heartbreak, confusion, then relief and
peace. Then she'd opened her eyes and his breath had left him. They
were deep blue, like the sky, with a hint of violet around the edges. He
could tell it took her a second to find her way back to reality. Then a
huge smile split her face and that tinge of purple spread with the sparkle
that lit her eyes. Coupled with her raven black hair, those eyes were
magnificent. And he'd been a goner.
There was something in her eyes, a vulnerability that spoke to him,
pulled him in, that he felt he had to protect.
Right then and there, Logan knew he had to get to know this woman,
that he would do anything in his power to be close to her. He hadn't
known the song she'd played, had never heard it before, but he had
listened to it every day since, trying to figure her out.
It usually wasn't hard for him to get the woman he wanted. He wasn't a
player, far from it. He respected women too much to use them like that,
but he'd never really had to chase any of the women he'd been
interested in.
Rainey was different.
For the first time in his life, he had to work for it, prove himself, and he
was only too happy to take on that challenge. Though he had to admit it
was getting slightly frustrating. A month of flirting and being
charming, teasing, helpful ...nothing had helped him in cracking that
hard shell Rainey had surrounded herself with when it came to him.
He'd been watching her constantly, trying to see a pattern, trying to find
a weak spot that would let him get through her defenses, but he'd been
unsuccessful to say the least. That initial spark he had seen in her eyes
when they were introduced had not only disappeared, it had turned into
extreme dislike and distrust, almost hostile. He'd had no idea what had
caused that instant animosity when she'd learned his name. They had
never met before, he had been sure of that. There was no way he would
have forgotten those cerulean eyes. Or that raven black hair. Or that
absolutely heartbreaking smile.
No, they hadn't met before.

So why was it that she was dead set against getting to know him? For
weeks, Logan had racked his brain, not coming up with an answer or
even the slightest clue. He had played with the idea of asking Lizzy.
Rainey was her friend and Logan had caught Lizzy looking at either
Rainey or him or both of them knowingly more than once. So he knew
she knew why he wasn't getting an in, but Logan wasn't going to ask
her just yet. He hadn't given up on getting through to her.
And today, for the first time, she had given him a clue.
It wasn't about who he was.
It was about what he did for a living.
I can work with that.
He smiled to himself.
Then his smile vanished when he remembered the pain that had
flickered through her eyes when he had hit the nail on the head before
she could hide it. Someone had seriously hurt her. The thought of
someone physically causing her pain lit a fire of fury in his stomach he
had trouble controlling. She hadn't denied it. She also hadn't admitted
it. In fact, she hadn't acknowledged his question at all. Still, someone
had hurt her one way or another, he was sure of it. Hurt her so much
that she was closing herself off from letting people in. No, wait. The
only person she wasn't letting in was him. She was open and caring
with everyone else around her, smiling, laughing, teasing, and advising
in that caring and passionate way of hers. Though there was something
about her she was keeping to herself, he could tell. He had watched her
closely and intently. With the kids, she was always open, her smiles
always reached her eyes. But when she interacted with the adults, her
smiles were just that little bit less bright, the spark in her eyes that little
bit more dimmed. She was a private person. But she was always kind,
respectful, and sincere, and everyone loved to be around her. The kids
at the shelter adored and respected her, trusted her, and her co-workers
sang high praises all the time, talking about how involved she got, how
passionate she was about every single child who showed up at the
shelter, how she worked long hours and weekends to give the kids a
sense of safety and home, a place where they could go and feel loved
and appreciated, where they knew they could find support and let their
guard down, even if just

for an hour a day. He admired that in her, how she could make
disillusioned street kids trust her, quickly, how she could make them
feel loved and cared for.
That's why he hadn't understood how she could be so hostile towards
him.
But now he knew she treated him like that because she had been burned
by another boxer. What was it she had said? People like you. Boxers,
fighters, athletes in general, musicians, actors. Anyone who strives to
make it big, be famous and become rich. Anyone who is ruthless
enough to do anything to reach that goal and throw a tantrum when
things don't go their way. That was it. The man she'd been with had
done everything to reach his goal, to become famous, rich, and had left
her when he succeeded. Or he never made it that far and had changed,
maybe even blamed her or some shit like that. He was sure some
version of one or the other was true.
Determined to figure out which one it was, he started to smile again.
The boxing community in Boston was big, but Logan had connections.
Good connections. He would find out which asshole had hurt the
woman he was falling for even though she wanted nothing to do with
him, and then he would teach him a lesson and prove to her he was
nothing like that, that he would adore the ground she walked on, that he
would never sacrifice her for anything.

Chapter 3
Rainey
"ARE YOU KIDDING ME? THAT man is delicious. If he weren't
almost seven years younger than me, I would give it a shot. If he were
interested in me, that is. Which he isn't, of course." Bobby's eyes came
to me with a knowing little glint. I rolled mine in response.
"How do you know how old he is?" Lizzy asked Bobby.
We were all sitting at a table at the Red Lantern, enjoying the most
delicious Chinese food in all of Boston. It wasn't anywhere near the
shelter, but it was definitely worth the drive. The Red Lantern was
smack in the middle of the Back Bay district of Boston, only a few
blocks from where Lizzy and Cole lived. I loved walking around this
part of town with its shops and restaurants, watching the hustle and
bustle of the city. People watching was one of my favorite past times. I
would get a coffee and just sit on a bench somewhere and make up
stories about the people walking by. Sometimes I would bring my
guitar and strum it while I watched people walk past me. It was
relaxing, letting your head clear of all thought and just watch and
observe and come up with silly stories. It was something my mother,
Ben, and I used to do a lot when I was a teenager. We would wander
around downtown Boston and come up with the most ridiculous stories
about the people we passed. It had been fun and had taken my mind off
of the sadness that had enveloped me after my father left us.
I snapped out of that bittersweet memory when Bobby answered, "I
asked him." She shrugged.
I had to smile at her despite the topic we were discussing. Bobby was
another no-nonsense woman. If she wanted to know something, she
would ask you, a personality trait that was necessary when you were a
lawyer, I suppose. She was straightforward and brutal sometimes, but
on

the other hand, she could be extremely soft-spoken and empathic,
especially when she talked to the children she represented. Aside from
my mother, she was the strongest and best woman I knew.
"You would," I mumbled under my breath, making both her and Lizzy
snicker. Bobby still had that certain glint her eyes, you know, the one
where you know exactly that someone is up to something and it
somehow involves you? Yeah, that one. I had been looking forward to
a nice lunch out with my friends, but now I wasn't so sure that had been
a good idea. She kept her eyes trained on me, observing.
I sighed. "Do we have to talk about Logan? I'm starting to lose my
appetite here." I sounded like a whiny teenager. "How about we talk
about Cole and how he's absolutely driving Lizzy nuts to the point that
you threatened him with moving out?" I tried to divert the attention to
Lizzy, who was narrowing her eyes at me. But unfortunately, my tactic
didn' t get me anywhere, as I realized when Bobby waved the comment
off, saying, "We'll get to that. We all know she wouldn't really go
through with it, or rather, Cole wouldn't let her. As much as I enjoy
watching the two of them banter and bicker, it's nothing new. Your love
life takes priority over that right now."
Lizzy' s eyes had narrowed further and were now on Bobby, but she
didn' t say anything, knowing damn well Bobby was right in her
assumption.
"Who is talking about my love life? I don't have a love life."
"Exactly. You've had an extremely hot and perfectly nice guy chasing
you for the past month, and you don't even give him the time of day.
Instead, you go out with patronizing assholes who split the dinner bill
in half and don't even have the decency to walk you to your car or, God
forbid, drive you home. Or you waste your time with narcissistic dicks
who only talk about themselves without wanting to know the first thing
about you."
Great. Now she was bringing up my not so successful dates in the past
few months. Granted, Jake had been a huge jerk. I had met him at the
grocery store of all places, when he'd stood behind me in line at the
check out. He'd been cute and funny and seemed interested in getting to
know me. Turned out he was only interested in himself, since that was

all he'd been talking about all night. And Hugh...Well, Hugh had been
the worst date in history. We'd gone out to dinner to a nice Italian
restaurant, not too fancy, not too plain, but cozy and original, kind of
old-fashioned with its red-and-white-checkered tablecloths and
homemade pasta dishes; just exactly right. I'd had a good feeling, been
optimistic. The food had been delicious, the company. not so much.
Don't get me wrong, Hugh was cute, but he was also very arrogant and
somewhat condescending. A major turn off. When the waiter had
brought our menus and left us to decide, he had informed me we would
be splitting the bill, since he was sure I was an independent woman
who believed in gender equality, and anyway, he never spent any
money on women unless he got something in return. That comment
alone should have made me get up and leave without another word. But
it got even worse when he asked what it is I do for a living. This was
after he explained to me in boring detail what it's like to be a successful
mortgage broker and what his five-year plan looked like. When I told
him I was passionate about working with children in need, he scolded
me and stated working with street kids was an unsuccessful venture,
that you couldn't help someone who chose to live on the streets, that it
was a waste of time to even try. Thankfully, he'd dropped that bomb
close to the end of dinner as the waiter was clearing our table and asked
if we were interested in dessert. I declined politely, then grabbed my
purse, dug out some money, and threw it on the table, then got up and
left without saying another word. That had been the last date I had been
on, which was a little over a month ago. I doubted I would go on
another one any time soon. Jake and Hugh hadn't been the only
assholes I had gone out with; there were more, but I won't go into
detail. That would be too damn depressing.
"Why won't you give him a chance?" Bobby asked when I sighed but
didn't say anything more. My head snapped up from my plate, and I
clenched my teeth and took a deep breath before I said too much. I liked
Bobby, I really did, but I wasn't ready to discuss my past with her. I
knew I could trust her, but I wasn't ready to open myself up to someone
else quite yet. I was still getting used to being that close to Lizzy, to
have a friend I could confide in.

Lizzy leaned forward and put her hand on mine on the table. I looked
down and saw that both my hands were clenched into fists.
"It's okay, Rainey," she said quietly, soothing me. I took another deep
breath and released the tension in my hands.
"I sense a story there," Bobby murmured, her eyes on my hands, then
she lifted her gaze and looked me in the eyes. I stared back at her but
remained quiet, silently trying to convey my thoughts to her, that I
wasn't ready to share my story with her. Not yet.
"Okay, I won't push. At least not today."
I exhaled, relieved, then pulled my hand out from under Lizzy's and
resumed eating my Lemon Chicken. After a few moments of silence in
which I knew both Lizzy and Bobby stared at me, Bobby switched her
attention to Lizzy with, "So, your hot husband is driving you up the
wall?" Making me grin into my food.
Lizzy rolled her eyes. "Don't get me started. Ever since we found out
our baby is a girl, he's turned into a complete caveman."
"Honey, I hate to break it to you, but Cole has been a caveman for as
long as I've known him, at least when it comes to you. And don't
pretend you don't think it's hot."
Lizzy sighed in resignation. "I do. Most of the time. But it stops when
he tries to order me when and what to eat, or how much and how long
I'm allowed to be on my feet before I have to take a break. It's
suffocating."
"I bet it is," Bobby agreed. "Still, I think it's extremely endearing that
he wants to take care of you and your daughter like that. Imagine how it
is for him, not being able to do anything, with all the responsibility of
growing your baby on you. A man like Cole isn't used to letting
someone else take over. Give him some credit."
"Fine. You're right. I can't wait until it's your turn to fall in love with an
overbearing man who drives you absolutely insane."
"Huh, right. That' s never gonna happen," Bobby murmured under her
breath, her eyes lowering to her plate. I looked at her, scrutinizing.
"I sense a story there," I commented, repeating her words from a few
minutes ago.
"Yeah, I think someone is holding out on us," Lizzy agreed.

Bobby narrowed her eyes on me. "I'll show you mine if you show me
yours." My eyes narrowed on her in response. "Fair enough," I replied.
"Hey, I showed you mine," Lizzy stated, sounding a little taken aback
at Bobby's evident lack of trust. Bobby's eyes softened on her. "I know,
honey. And I am so very grateful for the trust you put in me. I'm sorry
you feel like I don't trust you enough to confide in you, but I promise I
will share my story with you. With both of you." She gazed back at me
before her eyes met her plate again. "It's just that. ..I don't know
where...if..." She sighed. "Look, I've never talked about it before. Not
since it happened. Not in almost two decades. I don't know if I can or
what's gonna happen when I open that can of worms. I trust you. I want
you to know my story. I just don't know how to tell it quite yet."
Wow. I didn' t know what to say. I was speechless. Bobby was the most
fearless and self-assured person I knew. Seeing her like this, sad and
hesitant, timid and uncertain, told me something really bad must have
happened to her. And almost two decades ago, she said. That made her
what? Fifteen? A teenager. I knew only too well the amount of dark
things that could happen to a teenage girl. So did Lizzy. Hell, we all
did. I also knew that in ninety percent of the cases, those dark things
happened at home, giving me an idea of what might have happened to
Bobby. But I wouldn't push. I'd give her the same space she had given
me.
"God, I'm such a hypocrite. Here I sit, not wanting to talk about me,
when every day I make abused kids talk to me and trust me."
"Bobby," Lizzy got her attention. "I'm sure I can speak for both Rainey
and me when I say that we understand. We're not going to push. Just
know we're always here when you need us. No judgement. Okay?"
Bobby's grateful eyes misted with tears, but she kept them in. "Thank
you," she whispered. "I know I can trust you. I really do."
"That's why you do it, isn't it? And why you're so passionate about
helping abused children."
Bobby nodded. "Yeah." Lizzy and I said nothing more, our
understanding eyes on Bobby as she took one long breath and pulled
herself together. "Look at us," she said. "We're quite the group, aren't

we?"
"That we definitely are," I agreed.
Lizzy smiled. "Yeah, we are. And you know what? I'm proud to be
friends with you. I've never had girlfriends before. Now I have so many
I don't know who to call first when I've got something I need to talk
about, or vent to, or share news with. I never thought I'd feel this way,
but despite the danger of sounding disgustingly cheesy, I have to say, I
feel quite blessed to call such passionate, loyal, and honest women as
you my friends."
Bobby and I grinned at each other. "Jeez, woman, did the pregnancy
hormones get to you? You're getting soft on us," I teased. Bobby
laughed. And Lizzy snickered.
"Shut up, bitch. I'm allowed one soft moment a day. What else is there
to gain from being pregnant?"
"Uhm, a baby?" I deadpanned.
"Funny, aren't you? Maybe we should rehash the topic of Logan?" She
was taunting me. I grinned at her.
"Nothing to talk about. I've just now decided to become celibate. Who
needs a man anyways? All they do is let you down or piss you off.
From now on, I'll be blissfully happy by myself. With my wide range of
vibrators, of course."
"Of course," Bobby smiled and nodded in agreement. "I'd have to agree
with you there. I have yet to meet a man who is worth the trouble, one
who isn't intimidated by my professional success, one who doesn't just
see me as a challenge, to capture the shark, one who sees and wants me
for me, taking the good with the bad. I'll join your club."
"The hell you are. I want all my friends to be happy. To find a man who
loves them like Cole loves me. And yes, I blame this desire for my
friends to be gleefully happy on being pregnant," she added when she
saw the looks on both our faces. "So sue me." She shoved the rest of her
food into her mouth, then sighed contentedly and leaned back in her
chair, challenging us with her eyes to argue with her. I had no
inclination to do so. Never argue with a pregnant woman. It never ends
pretty. That's a lesson I'd learned in the past couple of months.
Both Bobby and I stayed silent and finished our meals. I could tell

Lizzy booked this one as a win, even though she knew we hadn't agreed
with her, but who cared? I wasn't going to let anyone force me to do
something I didn't want to do. I was not going out with Logan, or
anyone else for that matter, but especially Logan. No way in hell. I
knew exactly the type of man he was and had no interest whatsoever in
setting myself up for that kind of heartbreak.
Been there, done that, burned the t-shirt.
w w w
Later that afternoon, I was sitting in the common room with a handful
of our regulars as well as Steve, playing guitar and singing. Steve was
Cole's best friend. He was also the lead guitarist in a cover rock band.
He had been coming around for a few months now, hanging out with
the kids and giving casual guitar lessons to anyone who was interested.
And yes, he had asked me out. Numerous times. I had declined every
single offer for the same reason I wanted nothing to do with Logan: he
was a wannabe celebrity, at least in my eyes. The reason we could be
friends now was because he'd backed off. It hadn't taken much for him
to do so. Some well-chosen comments combined with my iron firm
refusal to let him take me to dinner or a movie, or just a coffee, were all
it took for him to get the message. I was glad, because Steve is a great
person. Cool, laid-back, non-judgemental. Fun to be around.
Now, if only Logan would get the hint. But I was afraid after what he
said this morning that my wishful thinking would be fruitless. He
wasn't about to give up. And that pissed me off and scared me at the
same time. I had to make him leave me alone, to dislike me, actually, so
he wouldn't dig into my past, into who I was. He didn't have the right to
know.
Nobody did unless I deemed it so.
Pushing thoughts of him aside, I looked to Ashley, a sixteen-year-old
girl who had been coming around these past few weeks. She had come
out of nowhere. Nobody had seen her before; she just appeared on our
doorstep one day and had been coming every day since

then. She was a tough one. All the kids were, but Ashley had a
sharpness and at the same time a vulnerability about her that made my
heart ache more than it already did whenever a new kid came to the
shelter. She'd come here for the past month or so, and so far, nobody
had gotten through to her. Not even Lizzy. And she was the best when
it came to our tough cases. Ashley never stayed the night, nobody knew
where she went, not even the other kids. She kept to herself. Always.
But for some reason, Ashley liked to be around me, especially when I
got my guitar out and jammed either by myself or with Steve, so it
didn't surprise me she was one of the kids sitting around us on the
couches. She never talked much or interacted. She was just kind of
there. She hadn't given me an opening yet, but I was a patient person. I
was determined to help her.
"Ashley, your turn to pick a song," I said as I strummed the chords.
She never gave anything away, but I could see by the slightest flicker in
her eyes I had surprised her. She knew I knew she didn't like to talk,
especially in front of other people, but I had to start somewhere, had to
somehow get her to come out of her cocoon. To my shock and relief,
she didn't get up and leave, as I had feared she would since she had
done just that more than once, but opened her mouth and said in a low
but firm voice, "I like the one you played last week. The one about the
waterfall."
I started strumming the beginning of the song I thought she was talking
about. "You mean this one?"
She nodded. I smiled at her and nodded toward Steve to join me.
"Can you play it?"
"I sure can. You've got good taste," he said through a smile he directed
at Ashley.
Ashley didn't acknowledge him. She never did men or boys, always
pretended they didn't exist. Like I said, she made my heart ache more
than usual.
"She sure does," I agreed with Steve as we played the intro to
"Waterfall" by The Neal Morse Band, a beautiful song about shattered
dreams, about sorrows and pain, and about finding peace in that special
place where you could let go and be free. For me, it was a song about
hope. Every time I listened to, or played, or sang that song, I got goose

bumps. The first time I had heard it, I had to play it over and over again
until I knew every word. Then I got out my guitar and hit repeat again
and again until I could play the whole song. The lyrics were
exceptional; the whole song was. It touched me deeply. And Ashley
choosing that song told me it touched her deeply too, that we were
kindred spirits on some level, which in return gave me hope I would
break through, that she would eventually let me in. But I had to gain her
trust first. And I was determined to prove myself to her. No matter how
long it took.
I closed my eyes and started singing this masterpiece, losing myself in
it, in its words and in its world. When I opened my eyes again while the
sound of the last strum was still in the air, my breath whooshed out of
my lungs and I stilled.
Logan was standing across the room, his eyes on me. His hot and
determined eyes. They had a power to them that left me shocked. And
terrified.
Shit.
Logan
Logan couldn't take his eyes off of the beauty that was Rainey.
He had walked in only minutes before, had heard her play her guitar
and sing before he even entered the room, pulled closer by her
unbelievably sexy and throaty voice as if pulled by some invisible
string. Good god, she was something. Desire so hot he thought it would
melt his insides was coursing through his body.
He wanted her.
But not just her body. Oh, no.
He wanted her.
And as he was standing across the room from her, unable to move his
eyes away, frozen in time, he realized he was already in so much deeper
than he had thought.
For him, there was no turning back.
He got that she was scared, that she was trying to protect herself from
heartbreak. But fuck it; he wasn't going to let her push him away

any longer. No fucking way. He'd paid his dues.
Watching her sing that song, seeing the emotions flitting across her
face, the sorrow, the pain, the peace when she sang about finding that
place where she could let go of all her sorrows and be free, sealed it for
him. He wanted to be that place for her, the place where she could be
herself, where she felt safe and free. Everything he saw, everything he
learned about her, made him that much more determined.
He wanted to be her waterfall.
Yeah, she was gorgeous. Only a blind man would deny her beauty.
Though, even a blind man would see how truly magnificent she was.
But that wasn't what he was after.
No.
Logan wasn't a man who, contrary to her apparent belief, drowned
himself in women and used them for his pleasure before he got rid of
them.
Oh, no.
Growing up with a single mother who divorced his father after she
found out he cheated on her when Logan was ten years old, had taught
him early on to respect women. Even in high school he had never been
a player or even a serial dater. He was a one-woman-at-a-time man.
And he was now officially off the market.
And he would make it very clear that so was she, to both her and any
man who came sniffing around her.
The song stopped, and she met his eyes. He saw something in them he
hadn' t seen before, something that told him she knew exactly what he
was thinking. Something that told him she knew to brace for what was
about to come.
Oh yeah, baby. You better brace.
He stepped further into the room. Still, her eyes stayed glued to his. As
if she couldn't help herself but watch his every move, as if she were
captivated by him.
That's right, baby. Keep your eyes on mine. Read what I'm telling
you.
Someone clearing their throat snapped her out of her daze and she
turned her head to Steve. Logan's eyes followed and narrowed on the

man. Steve grinned at him, knowingly. Then his chin lifted in
understanding—amused understanding it seemed like—when Logan
didn' t avert his eyes.
Movement on the couch made him look back at Rainey. She was
getting up slowly, her guitar in one hand, the other brushing her hair
back, her eyes still on Steve. He had to crack a small smile when he saw
her glaring at him just like he had just done, but for a different reason.
She had seen their non-verbal communication and wasn't happy about
it.
Game on, firecracker.
He knew he was going to love this. All the frustration he had
experienced in the past month about this woman—his woman—he now
welcomed. It fueled his determination. Nothing and nobody would
keep him from claiming her. Not even Rainey herself.
When he reached her, the room was still quiet, but now her eyes were
back on him. Logan could see that her shield was back up and he
looked forward to taking on the challenge of taking it down once and
for
all.
"What do you want?" Her voice was snippy and dismissive. Oh, yeah.
I'm gonna enjoy this.
Logan' s smile grew into a grin, resulting in Rainey putting her one free
hand on her hip.
"You know what I want. I've made myself crystal clear. More than
once."
She clenched her teeth. "So have I."
"I don't think you have, baby." Her eyes narrowed on him further at
hearing the endearment. He moved in closer, trapping her between him
and the couch.
"Um," he heard murmured from beside him, from Ashley he thought.
But he ignored it as he lifted his hand and cupped Rainey's cheek, then
kept moving it until his hand was in her hair at the back of her neck.
Rainey froze at his touch, something he had anticipated. Then she tried
to get out of his hold and started moving sideways, also something he
had anticipated. He tightened his hold on her neck and pulled her into
him, all the while holding her eyes, telling her he understood, that he
knew she was scared of getting hurt, but that it didn't

matter. That he was done holding back and giving her time, that he was
going to stake his claim right here, right now, and that from that
moment on she was going to be his. That he promised to not hurt her
like she had been hurt before, that there was no reason to be scared. He
had no idea if she could read him like he hoped she could, but she had
also stopped pulling away, so he took that as a good sign. He pulled her
closer still, that one last inch that separated them, and his mouth was on
hers, kissing her. He didn' t go easy. He gave her a full-on,
no-holds-barred wet and deep kiss. As soon as his tongue touched hers,
he knew deep in his soul that this woman was the one. Rainey was his
and he was hers. There was no doubt. It was like an electric shock was
running though his tongue and expanded through the rest of his body.
He was extremely aware of the fact that his body was reacting
accordingly and did everything he could to control himself, since they
were in public, surrounded by teenagers, at her place of work. Which
was extremely difficult to do when her tongue started tangling with his
and her hands had come up to hold on to his biceps for dear life.
He had her.
He knew it.
Fuck, yes.
He deepened the kiss for a few more moments before he let go of her
mouth, nibbling at her lip as he slowly pulled away. He didn't go far,
just far enough so he could see her eyes. They were closed. Her face
was completely relaxed, but he could see longing on it.
Fuck, yes.
He had his answer.
Her eyes opened and they were heavy—heavy with lust. His dick
stirred in his pants once more. Not yet, buddy. Not here.
"Now you've made yourself clear." He knew his words would bring her
back to reality, that they would bring back his firecracker, but he didn't
care. He wanted her to know he knew she wanted him, that he knew
their kiss had affected her, that he didn't give a shit who saw or who
knew. In fact, he wanted everyone to see and know that from now on,
they were an item. A very serious item. The most serious there was.

Before his words had the chance to completely sink in, he lightly kissed
her forehead, then dropped his hand and stepped back, turned around,
nodded to Jesse who had been one of the teenagers sitting with Rainey
and who got up to follow him with a knowing smirk on his face, and
left the room, heading straight out the front doors to his truck. But not
before he heard several voices in the room say,
"Holy shit."
"That was some kiss."
"I think he likes you, Rainey."
He also heard a couple of sighs.
But the murmured words that brought a shit-eating grin to his face
were, "Fucking hell."
And they came out of Rainey's mouth.

Chapter 4
Ten Years Ago
Four weeks after the fight
"DON'T, SARAH. DON'T TELL ME you know what I'm going
through. You have no fucking clue what I'm going through! Are you a
boxer? An athlete? Do you know what it feels like to work your ass off,
to accomplish your dream, then lose it and be dragged through the
press? Huh? No! You don't! So don't pretend you do! You don't know
shit!" "Keep your voice down. Rainey is upstairs," I heard my mother
hiss.
"Like she doesn't hear us fight every day. Newsflash, Sarah. She knows
exactly what is going on here. She's not dumb."
"And what is going on here exactly? You drinking your ass off every
day and then falling asleep on the couch? You need to wake up. Rainey
needs you. She misses you and she needs you. We both do." "Yeah,
right."
Then there was silence until my mother said quietly, her voice shaking,
"You're breaking my heart. And you're breaking your daughter's heart.
Wake up and stop this before it's too late." "Is that an ultimatum?"
"Not yet. But I won't let you do this to Rainey for much longer. I won't
stand by and watch you scare and hurt her. We gave you time to come
to terms with what has happened—"
" I lost, Sarah! I lost my fucking title! I am nothing now! " "You're
still my husband. You're still Rainey's father. I

understand—"
"There you go again with your fucking understanding. You can fucking
shove your fucking understanding up your fucking ass! "
Then there was nothing but the sound of muffled sobs coming from
downstairs. Less than a minute later, I heard the front door slam shut
and an engine start.
I was in my room, sitting on the floor with my back against the door,
my arms wrapped around my legs, my forehead pressed against my
knees. Every night since the night of the fight had been the same. Since
the moment my dad had come home after he lost his championship
title.
Mona had taken me home before I could see my father, but I had
refused to go to bed, wanting, needing to see him, to comfort him, to
tell him that it didn't matter, that I was still proud of him and always
would be. Most importantly, I had needed to see he was okay. That he
wasn't beaten too badly, that he would recover quickly. I had needed
that reassurance even after we had been told by one of his trainers he
was conscious and everything looked all right. Yes, he was battered
and bruised and had been knocked out cold, but there was nothing to
worry about. My mom was with him and would bring him home after
he got checked over thoroughly. That news had released some of the
anxiety I had felt, but it wasn't enough. I had to see him and hug him. I
needed it.
But that wasn't what I had gotten when my mother and father finally
walked through the front door after I had waited, sitting on the stairs
next to Mona, for over two hours.
Yes, I had seen him.
But he wouldn't let me get close enough to hug him.
I had tried, had rushed toward him as soon as the doors had opened, but
he had caught me by the shoulders and had kept me at arm's length.
"Not now, Princess. I need some time," is what he said without looking
at me. No reassuring hug, no smile, no wink. Not even a squeeze to my
shoulders. Nothing.
He had dropped his duffel bag in the hall and had disappeared into his
office, where he promptly got drunk.
How did I know this?
After my mother had given me the hug I had so desperately needed

from my father, she had brought me upstairs, holding me close and
whispering in my ear.
"Don't worry, honey. He'll be okay. Losing a fight is never easy. Losing
an important fight like that is especially hard. Not just on the body, but
on the mind. Give your dad some time to wrap his head around what
happened. I promise he'll be fine and he'll regret he didn't kiss you
goodnight. But don' t be mad at him. We have to support him now, be
there for him."
She was right, of course. My mother was mostly always right. Both my
father and I knew this, even if we didn't always admit it. My father and
I were two peas in a pod, always getting in trouble and getting caught,
then blaming each other. My mother took it all in stride, but also didn' t
hold back when she thought we went too far. She gave good lessons,
lessons that always came from the heart.
So trusting her to be right, I snuck out of bed when I couldn't go to sleep
and went to his office. I knew he was still in there, because I could see
the light beneath the door. I didn't knock. I didn't think I would have to.
He had never asked me to. But after I saw what I saw and heard what I
heard, I wished I had knocked. At least then my dad would have known
I was there and would have had the chance to send me away. Or maybe
I wouldn't have opened the door when he didn't answer. I don't know.
But I didn' t knock.
I turned the knob and opened the door slowly, thinking maybe he had
fallen asleep at his desk or something. Though somehow I knew that
wasn't the case. There was a dreadful feeling growing inside my
stomach, a feeling that I couldn't interpret. All I knew was that I was
nervous. And a little scared. Which I had never been when I was close
to my dad. When I opened the door wide enough to see his desk, I saw
his chair was empty. I opened the door further and saw him standing by
the window, his head hanging low. I couldn't see his face since his back
was toward me, but I could see he was holding a bottle in his right
hand. His other hand was blocked by his body, but it looked like he was
staring down at something while he was weighing it in his hand. Then
without any warning, he turned his body sideways and swung his arms,
releasing what he had been holding in his hand, and smashing it into the
glass

cabinet on the far wall that held most of his trophies and photographs.
There was a loud crash and glass was flying everywhere. I screamed,
but my dad didn't stop. He swung again, his other arm this time, and
smashed the bottle into the other cabinet, breaking that one as well. It
was so loud, I couldn't hear my own voice when I screamed at him to
stop.
"Dad! Stop! Daddy, stop! Stop!"
He didn' t. When he turned around fully and I could see his face, I froze
mid-scream. His face was bruised and swollen, but that wasn't what
frightened me. It was the look in his eyes, the torture, the absolute fury
that took my breath away. This wasn't my father, my gentle and sweet
daddy.
This person was someone else.
Someone I didn't know.
Someone I didn't want to know.
Someone who scared me to death.
I took a few steps back as I shook my head in disbelief and denial. The
movement must have registered with him, because he suddenly stopped
and turned fully toward me. There was a flicker in his eyes, a flicker of
something I again couldn't interpret, before his face closed down and
all that was left was anger and pure, cold fury. It scared me. Yes, in that
moment, for the first time in my life, I was scared of my father. The
tears started rolling down my cheeks as I kept retreating until I felt arms
coming around my shoulders from behind and the sweet scent of my
mother's perfume hit my nose.
"Out! Both of you! Get the fuck out of here!" my dad roared. I turned
on my heel and fought my mother's hold on me, then sprinted to my
room, not stopping until I was hiding under my blanket. My heart was
beating in my throat and my breathing was heavy.
And I was crying.
Hard.
I was devastated. And terrified.
Now as I was sitting with my back to the door a whole month later,
listening to my father yelling at my mother yet again, I was still sad and

devastated, but I wasn't as terrified as I had been that night.
No.
That fear was slowly turning into something else. It was turning into
anger.

Chapter 5
Rainey
I WAS RAVING MAD.
Not just at Logan for pulling that shit, but at me for letting it happen,
for not doing anything to stop him even though I had known or at least
suspected what he had been up to, for giving in and kissing him the
second his tongue touched mine.
And for liking it.
For liking how his tongue had felt against mine. For liking how
claiming and promising his kiss had felt.
Which was stupid of course. I didn't want to be claimed. Or promised
anything. By anyone. But especially not by Logan.
Fucking hell, but he could kiss.
Stop it, Rainey. Stop thinking about it. He is just some jerkface who
sees you as a challenge because you keep refusing him, and he isn't
used to that.
Right.
I' d pretend it never happened. And if he brought it up, which I was a
hundred percent sure he would judging by the smug look he'd had on
his too handsome face when he left, I'd brush it off as a mistake, as
something I didn't want to repeat, as something not worth repeating. At
all.
Right.
"Fucking jerkface," I said to nobody when I unlocked my front
door.
"I hope it's not me who you're cursing under your breath." I turned my
head to see Ben sitting on my front porch swing. Now, what was he
doing sitting there like that? Why was he waiting for me to come
home? He lived next door and had a key. No need for him to lurk in the

shadows like that. Unless something was wrong and he didn't want to
waste the ten seconds it took him to get from his house to mine when he
heard me coming home. My insides started to churn with dread.
Ignoring his comment, my mind on the panic that was starting to take
over my body, I let go of the door and asked, "What's wrong? Is Mom
okay?"
His eyes turned sad and he sighed as he got up from the swing and took
the two steps it took him to stand right in front of me. Shit. Not again.
He took both my hands in his, caught my terrified eyes, and said in a
serious but gentle voice, "No, Princess. She's not okay."
I closed my eyes and hung my head, trying to hide the tears that had
sprung to my eyes. Ben was the only person who was allowed to call
me Princess. I had fought it tooth and nail in the beginning, but he had
fought back just as hard in his gentle and loving way. And even though
hearing him call me his princess usually made my heart melt and made
me feel loved, now, it did nothing but add to the sadness that was
threatening to consume me.
No, please don't let this be happening. I can't do this again. I can't lose
her.
I shook my head. I had to stop thinking like it was a given I was going
to lose her. She would fight. She was strong. She had won last time and
she could do it again. But that's why Ben had waited here for me, wasn't
it? Because he knew I would fall apart when I heard the news. He knew
I would need a moment to collect myself and he had given that to me. I
hated looking weak and I hated looking like I'd lost hope, especially in
front of my mom. I had lost it before, had lost hope and had turned that
hopelessness into anger, had taken it out on her when I was a teenager.
She had taken it, never once raising her voice or making me feel
unloved. She had done her best to fill that hole my father had left
behind. To be the best mother she could be. And she was. To this day.
And I had sworn to myself I would never lose it again. That I would be
strong no matter what. That her and I were a team that nothing and
nobody could ever break apart. I had reined in my anger and asked for
her forgiveness.

"You don't need to ask for forgiveness, Rainey, baby. I'm your mother.
You always have my forgiveness." She was the best mom there was.
And I was fucking terrified to lose her. The one person who loved me
no matter what, the one person I could always rely on, the one person
whose hug worked wonders and made all the pain in the world
disappear.
I took a deep breath, wiped the tears from my cheeks, and looked up at
Ben. "How bad is it?" I asked, my voice little more than a whisper.
He shook his head. "It's not good, kiddo. The cancer is back, that's all
we know right now. The doctor is sending her for tests tomorrow. We'll
know more then." His grave voice and the heavy sadness showing in
his eyes told me he was scared for Mom just as much as I was.
Ben was living next door when Mom and I moved in here just short of a
year after we moved out of my father's; so he'd known me since I was
fifteen. I had fought him tooth and nail, but he had eventually worked
his way into my heart. He was like a father to me now. Something that
hadn't been easy for me to accept, seeing as my real father had thrown
my mother and me away after he lost the fight that dreadful night. I had
known right away that Ben had fallen for my mother, but I hadn't
learned until years later that my mother had fallen for him too, not as
quickly, but she had come to love him deeply and had only held out
because she hadn't wanted to cause me any pain.
They now lived together next door. My mother had moved in with him
during her first cancer treatment four years ago when I was twenty-one.
She'd had a bad episode after her second round of chemotherapy and
had passed out while I was at school. It had scared the shit out of me
when I had come home to find her lying on the bathroom floor,
unconscious. Ben had brought up the option of moving her in with him,
something he had hinted at for over a year before she even got sick, but
she had refused because of me. It made perfect sense then, though, and
my mother had agreed it would be the best solution for everyone since
she refused to let me sit out for a year of school to take care of her.
"That is not an option, Rainey. And that is final," she had said. In the
end, I had given in. I didn't want to fight with her on top of her being

so sick. So she had given me the house and had moved in with Ben so
he could take care of her at all hours of the day. Ben was a web designer
and worked mostly from home. It hadn't been easy for me to let her go,
even though it was only next door, but I knew they were right and I had
wanted my mom to be happy.
And she had been. Despite the cancer and her chemotherapy, they had
been the happiest I had seen them together. It was like they could
finally settle, knowing I was old enough to be on my own, knowing I
approved of them living together. Which I would have done anyway,
but my mother had had it in her head that she wasn't gonna subject me
to moving in another man. Not after what my father had done to us. It
wasn't that she thought Ben would do anything like that. It was just
something she had been firm on.
"Be honest with me. How bad is it?"
He sighed once more before he answered. "Worse than last time." His
voice cracked on the last word, making the tears in my eyes well up
again, then flow over and roll down my cheeks. Ben caught them and
brushed them away with his thumbs. He pulled me into an embrace and
we stood like that for a while, holding on to each other, taking and
giving strength. After a few minutes, he kissed the top of my head,
where he murmured, "I' m sorry, Princess, but we gotta pull ourselves
together. Your mom is waiting."
I nodded, gave him one last squeeze before I stepped back, and pulled
myself together. I could do this. I had to do this. I nodded then let him
pull me into his side and we walked down the front stairs and across my
front yard into theirs arm in arm until he let go to open the front door.
My mom was in the kitchen making dinner when we entered the house.
I looked around and took a whiff, realizing she was making one of my
favorites: homemade pizza and breadsticks. Despite the heavy knot in
my stomach, a small smile played at the corners my mouth.
My mom.
Always trying to cheer me up with food. Pretending everything was
normal.
I knew it was what she needed right now. She didn't want to be

fussed over or treated as if she were weak. She wanted to be treated like
she always was, as the mother and woman who loved us and would
take care of us no matter what. A sense of normalcy gave her hope and
made her happy, and it was my job to support her in that. Even knowing
that, I still couldn't resist giving her a tight hug after I walked up behind
her.
"Mom," I whispered into her ear while my arms squeezed her from
behind and my chin rested on her shoulder.
I heard her sigh and felt her hands squeeze my arm. I closed my eyes
tightly to suppress the tears that threatened to escape.
"I'm okay, honey. It will be fine. You'll see." After one last pat of her
hands and one last quick squeeze of my arms, I let her go and walked
around the island she'd been working at, so I could set the table. I heard
mumbled voices and the sounds of a kiss when I retrieved the plates
from the cabinet, grateful Ben was in our lives. I didn't know where we
would be now if it weren't for him. He was our rock. He was my
mother's confidant and lover. He was the person who gave both of us
strength, the person we both trusted.
"So, what's new with you?" my mother asked as I laid out the plates and
napkins on the kitchen table.
"Nothing, really. The job's great. I had lunch with Lizzy and Bobby
today. Oh, Lizzy and Cole are having a girl. They just found out a few
days ago. Cole is driving Lizzy absolutely crazy with his
overprotectiveness. She threatened him today to move in with me if he
didn' t tone it down."
God, it was hard to pretend like my heart wasn't breaking right now. I
closed my eyes and took a deep breath while my back was still turned
toward my mother and my hands were busy, trying to hide my distress
from her. But of course, I couldn't fool her.
"Rainey." Her voice was soft when she called my name.
I straightened my shoulders and turned around slowly, hoping I had
schooled my features enough to fake it. But when I turned around fully
and saw my mother's arms spread wide in an invitation to hug her, I
couldn't hold back the sob that was stuck at the bottom of my throat and
rushed into her arms. The tears flowed freely if not silently. Just like I
had so many times as a kid and as a young adult, I sobbed in her arms.

"I' m giving you this one breakdown, honey, but then you'll get your
shit together. You hear me?" I nodded in understanding.
"I get you are scared. I get you worry about me. But worrying about
what might happen is no way to live. We've been over this. We've been
through a lot, you and I, and we'll make it through this. I've raised you
to be strong and I need you now. I need my strong Rain, my rainstorm,
my downpour, a force to be reckoned with. You can do this, honey. We
both can."
I nodded once more, agreeing. She was right, of course. We had been
through so much together and had always made it out the other end,
stronger than we were at the beginning. And we would make it through
this.
We had to.
I sniffed one last time then lifted my head and looked into my mother's
eyes. Out of the corner of my eye I could see Ben hovering nearby,
assessing, reassuring, waiting in the wings, ready to jump in if need be.
"I love you, Mom," I whispered.
"And I love you. More than you'll ever know." She kissed my cheek.
"Now, finish setting that table so we can eat. Pizza is ready to be taken
out of the oven. And then I wanna hear all about Lizzy and her girl and
how exactly Cole is driving her to move in with you."
I chuckled as I wiped my tears away. "Oh, you know Cole. He's
bossing her around even more than usual, checking in on her
constantly, trying to tell her when to eat what and what to do when. He
should know Lizzy will never let him push her around like that."
Ben chuckled behind me while he opened a bottle of red wine for my
mom and me. His beer was already sitting on the kitchen island. "Lizzy
knew what she was getting herself into when she married that man.
She's known him all her life. I don't think it comes as a surprise to her
he'd be protective of his unborn daughter."
"No, you're right. It probably isn't a surprise to her. Doesn't mean she's
not going bonkers and cursing him three ways to Sunday."
"Don't let her fool you, Rainey. She loves Cole's

overprotectiveness."
I smirked. "Oh, does she ever. I swear fighting is like foreplay for them.
You should have seen them today when she threatened to move in with
me for the rest of her pregnancy. The sexual tension in the room was
making me blush."
Ben burst out laughing while my mother grinned then winked at
me.
"And what about you? Any promising young men on the horizon for
you?" My mother was always curious about my love life. I scoffed.
"Not likely."
"Huh," Ben mumbled. "You were calling someone a jerkface when you
came home. I doubt you were talking about Cole." There was a glint in
Ben's eyes I didn't like. So I glared at him.
"A jerkface? That sounds promising," came out of Mom's mouth.
"A fucking jerkface, actually," Ben clarified with a grin and a
wink.
My mother smiled and returned the wink.
Great. Those two were impossible when they ganged up on you. Even
worse than Lizzy and Bobby, and I had endured one inquisition already
today. Not to mention Ben bringing up my swearing reminded me of
Logan and the way he had kissed me today. Something I didn't want to
think about.
"He's nobody," I grumbled.
"You wouldn't be upset about nobody. What happened?" My mother
wouldn't give up. I knew it. She was like a dog with a bone.
I sighed, resigned. "He's a guy who volunteers at the shelter." That's
about all the information I was willing to part with. No way was I going
to tell my mom what he did for a living.
"What does he do for a living?"
I rolled my eyes heavenward and sighed once more. Of course she
would ask that.
"He's an athlete." My voice was hard, indicating I didn't want to talk
about him.
For a second, all movement in the kitchen stopped and I saw Ben and
Mom exchange a careful look. Then my mother picked up the pizza

slicer and Ben walked over to the table to set down the wine and the
wine glasses, then poured my mother and me each a glass before he
went back to kitchen island, grabbed his beer, and took a swig, his eyes
locked on me over the rim of his bottle.
I remained quiet, hoping Mom would take the hint and let it go. But of
course she didn't.
"What kind of athlete?" Her voice was a little lower now. Carefully
prodding, but knowing all the same. She knew about my rules. We had
talked about them many times. Her trying to talk me out of measuring
every man I met against my father, telling me it hadn't been my dad's
profession as a boxer that broke him, but his inability to deal with a big
loss. We've had many conversations about my father and what had
happened to him after the fight over the years. Mom never justified his
behavior, not once. But she tried to explain to me the difference
between a strong and a weak person.
"Some part of me will always love your father, Rainey. What he did
was wrong. The way he retreated from us and looked for an escape in
alcohol and anger was wrong. But it' s not your fault, nor is it mine. It's
also not the sport's fault. Boxing, fighting in a general, heck, being any
kind of athlete is hard work. It's not just about the training and the
fights or competitions. Every athlete has to be mentally strong to
withstand the pressure, win or lose. Your father wasn't strong enough
and paid the price."
"Yeah, he did, Mom. And so did we. I'm never putting myself in that
kind of situation again if I can help it. Say whatever you want, but I'm
not abandoning my rules. They've kept me out of trouble and away
from heartbreak so far."
My mom had sighed, resigned and a little disappointed and sad. She
wanted me to find love. The kind of love she had shared with my father
before he went off the rails. The kind of love she was now sharing with
Ben. But I wouldn't put myself out there like that. I admired her for
being so brave and letting herself fall in love again, but I knew I
couldn't do that. I was too scared of getting hurt. Being left by my
father the way I had, had scarred me. I lived with the pain every day.
No way would I let another man in so he could potentially hurt me the
same way.

The last time we'd had that conversation was only a few months ago
when I had told her about Steve. She had changed her speech slightly to
include any type of possible celebrities, not just athletes, since she
knew of course about my reservations about any man who strived to be
in the limelight at some point in his life, but her message was always
the same: you can't help whom you fall in love with. But you gotta give
yourself a chance, you gotta trust yourself and put yourself out there.
Right.
If she had been more careful, if she hadn't fallen in love with my dad,
she would have spared herself a lot of pain and heartache.
"But then I wouldn't have you," was what she had said in return. That
had shut me up. That was also why I hadn't told her about Logan being
a new volunteer at the shelter. But now she knew.
I shook my head, knowing what was about to come.
"He's a boxer. But before you start in on your speech, Mom, I don't
want to hear it. Seriously. He is an arrogant bastard, and I don't want to
be anywhere near him. Especially not after today."
"Why? What happened today? What did he do to have you all wound
up?" she asked while she put the delicious-smelling pizza in the middle
of the table when I didn't continue.
I ground my teeth.
Shit. Why did I say that?
"Nothing, Mom. He's just a pain in my ass, is all." I reached for the
pizza and took a bite, then hummed in appreciation. "God, Mom, your
pizza is the best. Have I told you today that I love you?"
"Nice try, Rainey, but you know your flattery won't work at distracting
me. It never has and it never will. Now spill."
Ugh. "Fine." I finished chewing my bite and swallowed, then mumbled,
"He kissed me," before I quickly took another bite.
Out of the corner of my eye I could see my mother smirking. And Ben
flat out smiling. I glared at them, making them both smile and grin even
wider.
"I see," Mom said knowingly, her eyes sparkling mischievously. No,
she didn't. "No, you don't. There is nothing to see." Now she started to
snicker, making my mood swing from mildly irritated to upset.

"See, Mom, he's been annoying me for a month now, dropping
comments in front of the kids, following me around, cornering me in
the break room. Then today he walked into the common room while I
was playing guitar and kissed me in front of everyone. In front of five
teenagers and Steve. He grabbed me and kissed me, full on, with
tongue. At my place of work. In front of the kids."
"So, are you upset he kissed you or are you upset he kissed you at work
in front of the kids and Steve?"
I frowned at her. "Both!"
"Huh," was all Mom replied.
"Huh, what?" I asked, now completely aggravated. I looked at Ben and
saw that he still had that wide smile on his face. Great. I'm glad I can
amuse you two.
"Huh, I think, no, I know you're lying to me right now. You're not upset
he kissed you or that he did it in front of everyone. You're upset
because you liked it."
Argh! "I did not like it," I practically growled.
"Then how did he have enough time to get his tongue in your
mouth?"
"Mom! " I shrieked.
"What?"
"You know what."
"Pfft. Talking to your mother about kissing is nothing to be
embarrassed about. You're an adult now. It's perfectly normal."
I groaned and stopped short of letting my forehead meet the table. Ben
was full-out chuckling now. "This isn't funny," I spat at him.
"Oh, I beg to differ. I've never seen you like this."
"Right." I was only being slightly sarcastic. Ben had seen me way
moodier than I was right now.
"At least not over a guy who you insist means nothing," he amended.
"When are we gonna meet him?"
I rolled my eyes. "You won't, Mom. I'm not going out with him, so
there's no reason for you to meet him."
"We'll see," she mumbled around a bite of pizza.

Ugh. I loved her, but right now, I wanted to wring her neck. "Let's
change the subject."
Mom chewed for a while, her eyes on me. "All right, honey. I'll let it
go. For now."
"Obliged," I grumbled sarcastically.

Chapter 6
Rainey
I SAT AT MY DESK the next morning, feeling hung over.
Sleep hadn't come easily last night. In fact, it hadn't come at all. I tossed
and turned until three in the morning when I finally gave up and headed
to the kitchen for something to drink. I settled on the couch and stared
into the dark, not really looking at anything. I just sat there in my
pajamas, wrapped in a blanket, and holding a glass of water. And stared
at nothing while my mind was whirling.
Whirling with worry, with downright fear.
I hated this.
This uncertainty.
This feeling of helplessness.
It transported me back to the time when my father turned into a person
I no longer recognized, when he turned bitter and angry, when he gave
up on himself and us and threw us away.
It took me back to a dark place I never wanted to visit again.
I pushed those thoughts away and rested the back of my head against
the couch, a silent tear escaping and rolling down my cheek. I didn't
brush it away. Nobody was here to witness me being weak.
After Mom beat the cancer the first time around, I thought we'd be done
with it, that we'd overcome it. That our lives would be smooth sailing
from here on out after the shitty years through which it seemed like all
we were doing was fighting to keep our heads above water. Sure, life
always threw you curveballs, but I had honestly believed nothing big
and bad would happen to us again.
Naïve, I know.
But I had believed it.
Life had been good before this afternoon.

Mom and Ben were happy and living together. I'd even thought Ben
would finally talk my mother into marrying him. That he was wearing
her down. That she was slowly realizing how stupid she was being for
not letting him make her his legally, as he called it.
Well, look who's talking, my subconscious taunted me.
Ugh! She was right. Who was I to talk? I couldn't even go on a date
with a guy without being on the lookout for flaws or ulterior motives.
I was pathetic.
And jaded.
But I couldn't help it even if I wanted to. And I certainly didn't want to.
But Ben had proven he loved my mom above anything, that he would
give up his life for her, that she was and always will be his priority.
No, I didn't trust in love.
But there were exceptions to every rule.
Lizzy and Cole were one.
Ben and Mom were another.
Now that we were facing another round of cancer treatment, those
plans would be put on the backburner, and I hated that for my mother. I
wanted her to be happy. She deserved it. More than anything else.
I sighed and took another sip of my coffee as I stared out the window of
my office that faced the common room, not really seeing anything.
"Rainey?" I heard my name called from the open doorway and shifted
my glance to see Lizzy standing there, her concerned eyes on me. As
my eyes slowly focused on her and I tried to recall if she'd said
something I missed, she stepped over the threshold and quietly closed
the door behind her before she sat down in one of the chairs facing my
desk. "Jesus. What happened?"
She was sitting at the edge of her seat, her hands on top of the desk, her
eyes roaming over my face.
"I...it's...I..." I stuttered, no words forming in my brain. Then to my
horror, my eyes filled with tears yet again and spilled over, soaking

my cheeks in seconds. "Fuck," I whispered as I covered my face with
both my hands and tried to control myself. Arms slid around my
shoulders and held me tight. I leaned into them. I wasn't a touchy feely
person, but I desperately needed this hug. I could pretend later that it
never happened. But right now, I needed someone to hold me, someone
who wasn't my mother or Ben. I had to be strong for them, couldn't lose
it. They had it hard enough. But with Lizzy right here right now, I could
let go. At least for a moment.
Lizzy didn't say anything. She didn't tell me everything would be okay,
didn't try to soothe me. She just held me. Which was all the soothing I
needed. And let's be honest. It was probably all the soothing I would
allow her to do.
It didn't take me long to pull myself together—maybe a couple of
minutes—before I leaned back from her embrace and brushed the tears
from my cheeks and under my eyes. Lizzy squeezed my shoulder then
walked back around the desk and settled in the chair once more.
"Spill," was all she said, her voice concerned but serious, giving me
that little push she knew I needed.
And so I did.
She knew about my mom's cancer a few years back and how hard it had
been on me, on all of us. She also knew that after all these years we had
thought she had it beat for good. So I knew she would understand.
"It's back. My mom's cancer is back."
Lizzy gasped and her eyes grew sad and understanding instantly.
Since Lizzy knew my story, she also knew my mom was the only
family I had. And Ben of course. But my mom and I had a special bond
that I didn' t think I could live without. She was the only parent I had,
the only person who I knew would always love me no matter what,
would always support me in whatever I wanted to do in my life, would
never get sick of me and leave me.
Lizzy didn' t have a good relationship with her mother. Well, that was
probably the understatement of the century. They didn't have a
relationship, period. Lizzy didn't even know where her mother was,
hadn' t seen her since she left right after high school years ago. Which

was a good thing, since her mother had been nothing but poison her
whole life, making Lizzy feel responsible for things she had no control
over, even when she was a little girl. Her father had been AWOL all her
life, or so she had thought. It wasn't until recently that she found out her
father had died before Lizzy was even born. But still, I knew she would
be able to relate. For most of her life she'd only had one person she
could rely on, one person she knew would always be there for her and
support her.
Just like me.
"Shit, Rainey." I could see Lizzy's eyes fill with her own tears.
"Yeah. Shit is exactly the right word to describe this." I reached for a
tissue and handed her one as well before I dried my tears and blew my
nose. Then I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, composing myself.
"How bad is it?" Lizzy asked after she wiped under her own eyes.
I opened my eyes and leaned back in my chair, needing the support.
"We don't know yet. She's going in for tests today." I checked the clock
that was hanging above my office door. "Her appointment is in half an
hour, actually."
"And you're here? Why aren't you with her?"
"She doesn't want me there. She said I'd been through all of that with
her last time and she didn't want to put that on me again. It's what she
needs to be strong. I think she worries I won't be able to take it. Ben is
with her."
"Well, that's good that she's not alone."
I shook my head. "No way would I let her go alone. I only relented
because I know Ben will call me the second they know what's going on.
He knows I' ll be on tenterhooks until then.
Lizzy nodded, understanding. We looked at each other for a few
moments, not saying anything. There was nothing to say, nothing to
organize, no strategy to plan. Not yet. Then her eyes narrowed on me
and I braced for what was about to come. Lizzy was one of the sweetest
people I had ever met, but she was also somewhat of a hardass.
Especially when she worried about people she cared about. Or the kids
she worked with.
"Promise me you'll tell me what's going on. And promise me

you'll let me help."
I gave her a small smile.
"I promise." I knew it was no use arguing with her over this. I would
keep her in the loop, at least somewhat. But she had enough going on
right now with being a newlywed and having a baby on the way. I
wouldn't add to that if I could help it.
Her eyes narrowed on me further. "I mean it, Rainey. You're not
alone."
I was grateful, I really was. Grateful for her understanding and her
friendship, but I had never been great at asking for help. Not in ten
years. I wouldn't start now. Mom, Ben, and I would get through this.
Just like we did last time. At least this time around we knew what to
expect.
"You sure you wanna be here right now?" Her eyes were still
concerned and on me. I was fooling myself if I thought Lizzy wouldn't
see straight through me, but I didn't have the headspace right now to be
concerned about it.
I sighed and nodded. "Yeah. It keeps my mind off of things. Those tests
usually take hours. I'd go crazy sitting at home, waiting."
"I understand." She nodded. Then she reached across the desk and
squeezed my hand in sisterly reassurance. Lizzy really was a great gal.
"All right. I've got the right distraction for you. Taryn wants to see us in
the meeting room. Apparently, she has something to discuss with us."
I got up slowly, thankful to have a purpose other than dealing with
paperwork for the next few hours. Until Lizzy kept talking. "I have to
warn you though, I saw Logan head for the meeting room as well. With
Jesse."
"Jesse?" I wondered, momentarily forgetting about Logan being
present during one of our meetings. "Shouldn't he be in school?"
Lizzy opened her door and gave me a look. "He should be." Oh dear,
Jesse was in for a lecture, I was sure. I smiled inwardly as we walked to
the meeting room that was just around the corner from my office. But
my reprieve was short-lived when I followed Lizzy to the big table in
the middle of the room and made eye contact with Logan. I frowned
when I saw him smile smugly at me, but not for the reason he was
probably thinking. I frowned because I didn't like him being here, at

an official meeting. It wasn't necessarily uncommon for volunteers to
attend, but Logan never had, and I had a feeling I wouldn't like what
this was about.
I felt his eyes on me as I went to the other end of the table from where
he was standing and sat down next to Jesse on one side and Jimmy on
the other. I felt his stare, but I didn't acknowledge it, nor did I look back
at him. Instead, I nudged Jesse's arm with my elbow and whispered,
"You better brace," under my breath. Every time I saw Jesse, he turned
more into the man we all knew he would become. Even when he first
showed up at the shelter late last year, he'd already had that manly
quality about him, even though he'd only been sixteen at that point.
He'd had that hard edge that nobody dared mess with, not even our
toughest kids, while at the same time had a gentle and protective side
when it came to who we had thought back then was his girlfriend, but
who had turned out to be his younger sister. He was the same way now:
you could feel the do-not-mess-with-me attitude he constantly exuded,
but you could also tell he was a good guy who had his priorities
straight, which was astonishing for a boy his age. But then again it
wasn't really, considering what he and his sister had gone through. He'd
had no choice but to grow up quickly and take on the role of his sister's
protector. Now, less than a year later, he had matured. If it weren't for
his still somewhat boyish features on his face, I would think he was in
his very early twenties, instead of being just seventeen years old. I took
a closer look at him and realized he had filled out. His shoulders were
wider and his t-shirt sat snug over his chest and biceps.
He raised his eyebrows and gave me a half-smirk. Jeez, I'm sure he
already had his pick of girlfriends. He was about to reply, but was
interrupted by Lizzy, which turned his half-smirk into a full smirk.
Again. Jeez.
"As much as I love seeing you, Jesse, you better have a good
explanation as to why you are not in school." Lizzy was sitting across
from us, between Logan and Taryn, her eyes on Jesse, who was still
smirking, but now at her.
"Free period." His voice was low but teasing. He loved Lizzy and loved
teasing her, almost like he would a big sister. Her eyes narrowed

on him.
"Free period, my ass. You wouldn't even make it here and back again
before your next class starts."
Jesse shrugged. "You forget I have a car now."
I had to keep myself from bursting out laughing when her eyes
narrowed on him even further. She was still pissed at Cole for buying
Jesse a car. She said it was unnecessary and that kids should work for
stuff like cars and cell phones. It would teach them a strong work ethic
and make them appreciate things more. Cole argued that Jesse was part
of the family and he didn't like him and Chloe taking the bus all the
time, especially if they went to the shelter on a regular basis. The
shelter wasn't in the best part of town. Lizzy couldn't argue with that,
but that didn't mean she wasn't still upset about it. Well, maybe I should
clarify. It wasn't necessarily the reason why Cole bought him a car. It
was more the type of car he got him that made Lizzy throw a fit: a brand
new Dodge Charger. Lizzy had almost blown her top when she saw it.
Jesse had been speechless. He wasn't the type of guy who took things
for granted; the opposite was true. Cole and Jesse had formed a bond
after their initial altercation when Jesse thought Cole had hurt Lizzy.
They really were like brothers, and Jesse would never become a snotty
teenager who expected things to be handed to him. He always worked
hard. From what I knew, his grades in school were great and he never
got in trouble. He helped out at the shelter whenever he had time. He
was an all around good guy. Lizzy didn't have to worry about him.
"Even with the car you wouldn't make it on time. Cut the crap, Jesse.
What's going on?" Her voice turned more worried than upset. "Is
everything okay? Are you in trouble?"
"No, Liz." Jesse's voice turned softer as well, lost its teasing. "I'm not in
trouble." He knew Lizzy worried about him and loved her for it.
"Logan asked me to come."
Both Lizzy and my eyes turned to the man in question. My eyebrows
went up in challenge when I saw his eyes were focused on me with a
glint in them. Arrogant jerk.
"You asked him to skip school to come to a meeting?"
Jesse interrupted before Logan could answer. "I didn't skip school,

Liz. Come on, you know me better than that. " Lizzy threw him an
apologetic smile. "I really do have a free period right now. I talked to
my teacher and he excused me for the next period. I have to be back
after lunch. Happy now?"
Lizzy nodded. "As soon as I know what's going on."
This was hilarious. I wasn't the only one who was amused. I looked
around the table and saw smiles or smirks on everyone's face as they
followed the show.
Jesse rolled his eyes. Then he bent to get something out of his bag and
slid it across the table toward Lizzy. Her eyes went wide when she
realized what it was.
"Cole wants you to eat all of it."
This time, I did burst out laughing. Lizzy's face was just priceless. I
wouldn't have been surprised to see smoke coming out of her ears.
When she saw me laugh, her face softened and she gave me a grin and a
wink. She had wanted to distract me. Mission accomplished. I grinned
back at her, grateful for having her as my friend. Then my grin died
when Logan's eyes again caught mine. They were curious and
observing, as if he tried to read my every thought. It freaked me out.
Thankfully, Taryn took that moment to start speaking. I focused my
attention on her.
"All right, people, if we're done bickering, let's start this meeting.
Logan approached me with an idea he and Jesse had. I wanted to bring
it to you, so we can make a decision on if we think it's a good idea to
proceed. Gentlemen, the floor is yours." She waved to Logan and Jesse
to start speaking.
"Right," Logan started. "As you all know, some of the kids have
already joined me at the gym and are focusing their energy into
working out and boxing instead of causing trouble on the streets. They
are taught discipline and devotion at the gym. I am very proud to say
that every single trainer has committed themselves to give these kids a
chance and work with them. The response has been great. And I think
all of you can confirm there have been less issues with aggression
amongst the kids."
He was right. There has been less aggression and hostility among the
kids. As much as I didn't want to hear anything to do with boxing, I

hadn' t been thrilled when I found out that part of his volunteering
would be done at the gym he trained at, but I had to give it to Logan. He
was doing an amazing job and it was showing.
"There is only one problem. The kids coming to the gym are
exclusively boys. We're having trouble getting any of the girls to come
down. Jesse here came up with a great idea that I think will be just what
we need to get the girls involved. Not only will it get them down to the
gym, it will teach them something that will give them more self-esteem
and will make them feel safe out there. Jesse?"
Logan swung his gaze to Jesse before it settled back on me. Throughout
his speech he had looked at everyone at the table in turn, but his eyes
had always come back to me, as if he was trying to tell me something.
Knowing what he knew now about my rule and what he assumed about
my past, he was probably trying to gauge my reaction. He knew I
wouldn't be happy and supportive of anything to do with boxing or
fighting. That's where he was wrong though. Yeah, I might not do
cartwheels about the fact that half of our boys were now aspiring
boxers, but it wasn't about me. It was about what helped them. And if
boxing gave them something to believe in, something that made them
feel good and taught them discipline and devotion like he said it did,
then I would support the idea. I held his stare for a few moments before
I turned my attention to Jesse when he started speaking.
"You all know what Chloe and I have been through. Living on the
streets is not easy. It's scary as hell. You will never know how grateful I
will always be for finding this shelter. You gave us hope and saved us."
There it was. Jesse was a good guy. The greatest. I glanced at Lizzy and
saw her wipe a finger under her eyes and gave her a soft smile.
"Living on the streets is even harder for girls. I know the dangers out
there, the dangers I had to protect my little sister from day in and day
out. She was terrified every single day. And the nights were worse. I
was terrified for her. I talked to Logan about the idea of asking one of
the trainers at the gym to teach Chloe self-defense. I never want her to
be scared again. Even though we don't have to live on the streets
anymore, I thought it would be a good idea for her to be able to defend
herself if necessary. Logan expanded that idea and wants to organize
classes for

girls and women only. I think it would help."
I looked around the table and saw nods and approving and proud smiles
all around. And I had to agree. Offering self-defense classes to our girls
was a fantastic idea.
"I already talked to some of the trainers and they're taken with the
idea," Logan continued. "We're as far as setting up a room and working
on a schedule. It's looking like we can offer one class for ten people at a
time, running two nights a week to begin with, and then we'll expand
from there."
Wow. I was honestly impressed. Not only had he come up with a great
idea to help our girls, he had also gone ahead and done something about
it. That was something I could appreciate in a person. It didn't change
my general opinion of him when it came to his pursuit of me, but it
made me respect him more and take him more seriously.
"I agree with both Logan and Jesse. I think it's a great idea and agree we
should move forward with it. What do you think," Taryn asked the
room.
"I'm all for it. I think it's a great idea," I chimed in, making Logan's
eyebrows shoot up with surprise. What, did he think I wouldn't want
my girls to feel safer? Again. Jerk.
I looked away from him, dismissing him, while I heard every single
team member agree.
"Great. That's settled then. Now, Logan also mentioned it would
probably be a good idea to have one of us there for the first course so
we know what we're talking about, and I agree with him. Since it's
gonna be a girls only class, everyone but Lizzy, Rainey, Maria, and
myself is out. Lizzy can't do it, for obvious reasons, at least not this
time around. Maria has finals to study for, and I'm swamped. Which
leaves you, Rainey. I want you to work with Logan on this. Help him
set up a schedule that works best for everyone and let him explain to
you what exactly will be taught in the class. Then you both need to
explain it to the girls."
My eyes had gone wide as the realization of what Taryn was asking me
to do began to sink in. I swallowed hard and looked at Lizzy as I tried to
control the panic that was clawing up my throat.
"There is nobody else who can do it?" I asked in a small voice. The

idea of having to go to a boxing gym two nights a week was turning my
stomach. I didn't want to know what memories would be unearthed. No
way. I couldn't do it.
"You don't want to do it?" Taryn sounded surprised. I always
volunteered for extra work, was passionate about everything to do with
my job and helping the kids in any way I could. Of course she would be
surprised if I didn't want to take on this new project.
"I...I don't...I mean..." Lizzy was trying to calm me down with her soft
eyes as she held mine.
"Rainey? You okay?" Taryn sounded a little concerned now. I didn' t
want her asking any questions. Especially not here and now. So I took a
deep breath and pulled myself together, while Lizzy gave me a small
nod and an encouraging smile.
"Sorry, Taryn. Yes, I'm okay. Of course I'll do it." Taryn eyed me for a
few more moments, but to my relief let it go and nodded at me.
"All right. You and Logan can discuss after this meeting how you want
to proceed. If you don't mind sticking around for a bit, Logan."
"Not at all." His voice was easy-going, but I could hear the underlying
curiosity and worry in it. I could also feel his eyes on me again, but I
chose to ignore them. There were bigger things to deal with at the
moment. I had to steel myself against the emotions I knew would
overwhelm me once I set foot into a boxing gym for the first time in ten
years.
I didn' t hear another word that was spoken during the rest of the
meeting. Granted, it was over only ten minutes later, but I had
completely zoned out. I fixed my eyes to a spot on the table in front of
me and kept staring, just like I had last night, but this time it wasn't
worry and fear that pulled me down. It was sheer panic. I focused on
my breathing and took slow breaths in through my nose, then exhaled
slowly and quietly through my mouth. My hands were clenched into
fists in my lap as I sat there motionless, trying to fight off the
memories; the visions of my father training while I watched and
observed; the smell of leather and rubber and sweat that permeated the
gym; the euphoria I had felt every time I saw my father best another
sparring partner; the happiness I had felt every time he winked at me
through the ropes; the look of love

and pride he had directed at me when he waved me into the ring after
his session to show me some of his moves and I executed them with
precision, then the joy when I loved it just as much as he did and started
training more seriously at the young age of seven. "One day you'll kick
my ass, Princess." The words caused me to flinch inwardly as the pain
of betrayal sliced through me, and I gasped. Shit.
"Rainey?" Jesse's voice snapped me out of my flashbacks and brought
me back into the room. I looked around and noticed that everyone was
getting up and headed toward the door. The meeting was over. Lizzy
stood across from me, a concerned look in her eyes, and tipped her
head. I nodded in reply and pushed my chair back.
"What's up, Jesse?"
"You okay? You flinched. Are you hurt or something?" If that wasn't a
loaded question right in that moment. Nevertheless, I plastered a smile
on my face.
"I haven't had breakfast yet. My stomach isn't too happy with me." It
wasn't a lie. I really hadn't had breakfast yet. My stomach had been in
knots when I got ready this morning and I couldn't bring myself to eat
anything.
Jesse eyed me, but then gave me a small nod. "If you say so." Damn.
That kid was too observant for his own good. I turned around and
followed Lizzy to her office.
"Rainey. Wait up." Hearing his voice, I did the opposite. Instead of
stopping or slowing down, I quickened my step. But I wasn't fast
enough. I felt a warm hand on my arm, then that hand stopped me and
turned me around.
"You running away from me?" Logan was standing in front of me,
close, his eyes boring into mine.
I narrowed my eyes on him, glad and grateful that I was now getting
pissed instead of panicky. "No," I snapped. "Why would I run away
from you? You don't scare me."
"Now, now. Lying doesn't become you, gorgeous." That jerkface
bastard son of a bitch.
I tore my arms from his grasp. "You—"
"Rainey, Logan, I need to have a word with you in my office. " My

eyes swung to Taryn. She wasn't happy, I could tell by the scowl on her
face. With one last glare at Logan I turned and followed her, then sat in
the chair in front of Taryn's desk, crossing my arms, while she went
around it. I heard someone close the door behind me, then saw Logan
sit down in the chair next to me out of the corner of my eye. I kept my
eyes straight ahead and my mouth shut as I watched Taryn take a seat
with a heavy sigh.
"Is there something going on here I should know about?"
I shook my head. "No. Nothing."
Logan chuckled but remained silent. Cocky bastard.
Taryn's eyes moved from me to Logan then back to me. She shook her
head slightly and sat back in her chair on a deep sigh. "All right. I'll get
straight to the point then. It's none of my business what's going on
between you two. Unless it happens here or affects your work with the
kids." She paused, giving us a chance to defend ourselves, I supposed.
But neither Logan nor I said a word. I ground my teeth and swore to
god that if Logan got me in trouble, I would rip his head clean off.
"What happened yesterday in the common room cannot happen again.
This is your place of work. A place where street kids come to feel safe
and get some food in their bellies. It's not a place where you can neck
while said kids watch."
I closed my eyes. Shit. Someone had told Taryn about Logan kissing
me in the common room yesterday. I was mortified. And about to blow
my lid. But this wasn't the place to lose my shit. That I would do behind
my closed office door once I apologized to my boss for my
unprofessional behavior. So I straightened my shoulders and uncrossed
my arms.
"I'm sorry, Taryn. It will never happen again. I promise." Taryn nodded
at me then looked at Logan. That son of a bitch smirked first at me then
at Taryn and said, "My apologies. I promise not to kiss Rainey in the
common room again." I was going to wring his neck.
"All right. I trust that the two of you will stay professional from now
on."
"Absolutely," I confirmed on a quick nod.
Logan just nodded, that smirk still playing around his lips.

"Logan, if you'll excuse us for a moment. I need to speak with Rainey."
He got up from his chair and headed for the door. "I'll wait in your
office," he informed me, probably to let me know I had no chance of
running from him again. Oh, he had it coming.
"You do that," I replied snippily, which made his smirk reappear in full
force.
"It'll only take a few minutes," Taryn assured him. The door clicked
behind me, and Taryn's eyes landed back on me. Only now they weren't
reprimanding anymore. They were amused.
"He's one cocky bastard, isn't he?"
I had to laugh at those words coming out of her mouth, almost the exact
words I had been thinking only minutes before. I sank back into my
chair, relieved the scolding part was over and Taryn was her normal
laid-back self again.
"That's an understatement."
"He's been after you since the first day he walked through the door.
Does him kissing you mean you finally gave in?"
"No. I haven't. He just surprised me and I couldn't react fast enough."
"Hm. That's not what I heard, but I won't push. You sure you'll be okay
working closer together with him?"
I sighed. No. I wasn't really okay with it. For more than just the reason
of spending time with Logan. But this was my job and I would not let
him or my past interfere with what I loved to do. The kids were my
priority. My emotions could be dealt with later. "Yeah, I'm sure. It'll be
fine. Don't worry."
Taryn nodded once more as her eyes roamed my face. "All right, girl.
Keep me in the loop and let me know how it goes."
"Will do," I said as I pushed up out of the chair and left the office.
My stomach growled, reminding me I really should eat something, so I
made a beeline for the break room in the hopes there was a donut left. It
was Thursday, which made it Jimmy's turn to get the donuts, and he
always got more than enough. He also always made sure Lizzy and I
got our favorite ones. My mouth watered at the thought of a good old

sour cream-glazed donut washed down with a strong, black coffee.
"Hey, doll. How you doin'?" Jimmy asked while I headed straight for
the box of donuts sitting on the counter. When I opened it and stared at
its contents, appalled, I saw a mug of black coffee appear in my line of
sight.
"Now, don't blow a gasket, but Logan just took the last one."
I turned to him, ignoring the mug he was still holding under my nose.
"He took my donut?"
Jimmy shrugged. "I don't think he knows they're your favorite, but yes,
he got a coffee and took the last sour cream-glazed one."
"Oh, he knows. You can bet your ass he knows." I turned on my heel,
determined to give that donut-stealing jerk a piece of my mind once
and for all.
"Hey. Don't forget your coffee." I went back and grabbed my coffee out
of Jimmy's hand, mumbled a "Thank you," then headed straight for my
office with only one thought on my mind: I was done. Stealing my
donut today of all days was the last straw. It was only ten in the
morning. I was anxious and worried about my mom's tests, had
practically had no sleep at all last night, was told I would have to not
only work with Logan, but return to a place I swore I would never set
foot in again, and had been reprimanded by my boss for kissing a guy
during work in front of the kids. I was done with this day. And done
with Logan.
Ready to blast him, I entered my office and closed the door firmly
behind me. What I would say next wasn't something I wanted anyone
else to hear. I opened my mouth to let fly, but closed it when I saw what
was sitting on my desk in front of my computer as if waiting for me. A
coffee. And my donut. I stared at it, not sure what to think.
"I heard you say to Jesse you hadn't eaten anything yet, so I grabbed
you a coffee and your favorite donut. You 're lucky too. It was the last
one."
I was still staring at the donut and the coffee, grinding my teeth. Shit.
That was actually nice of him. Not that I would admit it out loud,
especially not to him, but I could admit it to myself.
"Thank you," I snapped.

There was that chuckle again. "You're welcome, gorgeous."
"Don't call me that. Didn't you get me in enough trouble already?"
He leaned forward in his chair as I sank down into mine. And rendered
me speechless yet again. "I apologize for getting you in trouble. I didn't
mean to do that and I'm sincerely sorry. I mean it. It won't happen
again." He was completely serious, I could tell. And I believed him. I
sighed a relieved sigh and took a bite of the delicious donut. God, this is
good.
"Fucking hell," I heard murmured from across me and opened my eyes.
Eyes dark with desire were staring at my mouth. I swallowed. "What?"
"You're making it really hard right now to stay in this chair, when all I
wanna do is come over there and kiss you until you can't breathe."
I widened my eyes in disbelief. "You just said it wouldn't happen
again!"
He shook his head, his eyes staying glued to my mouth, as if he couldn't
make himself look away. "I said I wouldn't get you in trouble again.
Not that I wouldn't kiss you again." His eyes locked on mine. "I will
kiss you again. Soon. Very soon."
My breath hitched and my stomach flip-flopped as my body reacted to
his words. I dropped my donut and hung my head, resigned, burying
my face in my hands. All the anger that had fueled me only minutes
earlier left me. I couldn't deal with this right now. Not today.
"I don't have the energy today, Logan. Just drop it."
Silence met my words. I lifted my head and found him looking at me,
his eyes no longer hot but serious. "What's wrong, Rainey? Something
happened between yesterday and today. And I don't believe it's the kiss
we shared. Your eyes are sad and worried. They're also scared, no,
terrified. What's going on? And don't tell me I have no idea what I' m
talking about. I've watched you this past month and you've never
looked like this."
All I could do was shake my head. I might not have the energy to fight
with him right now and win, but I wouldn't spill my guts to him. That
was not something I did. "Nothing is wrong. Not that it's any of your
business."

Logan was grinding his teeth in what I assumed was frustration. I
stayed silent. What was going on in my life wasn't any of his business.
It never would be.
"We should talk about those classes," I changed the subject. I needed
him out of my office. Stat.
"We will. Tonight. I wanna show you the gym and introduce you to the
trainers who volunteered to help."
I gulped and shook my head. No, not tonight. It was too soon. I needed
some time to wrap my head around it all, to bury my emotions deep, to
steel myself. And I doubted I had the headspace to deal with anything
but my mother tonight.
"I can't tonight."
"You got plans?" he asked angrily.
Before I could answer, my phone rang. I turned from him and
answered. It was Ben. My stomach dropped with dread. That was
quicker than I expected. I wasn't sure if that was a good sign or not, but
feared it didn't bode well.
"Hey, Princess." He sounded tired.
"Hey, Ben. How did it go?"
He sighed. "They aren't done yet. We still got a few hours to go just to
get all the testing done. I just wanted to check on you. Make sure you're
doing okay."
I breathed a sigh of relief. "I'm okay."
"You're a shit liar, Princess." He paused. "You want us to grab Chinese
on the way home? Figure by the time we're out of here it'll be almost
dinnertime. You coming over, right?" Of course, I would. Nothing and
nobody would keep me.
"Chinese sounds great, actually. I should be able to head out on time
today."
"All right, kiddo. I'll see you later then."
"Bye." He hung up and I did the same. When I turned around, I realized
I wasn't alone in the room. Shit. I had forgotten about Logan.
"You having dinner with Ben tonight?" His words came out low and
forced and the way he said Ben's name was anything but friendly.
"As a matter of fact, I am." Maybe that would make him go away.

"He your boyfriend?" I shook my head. I wanted him to leave me alone,
but I wasn't a liar.
"No. He isn't my boyfriend."
"Make sure it stays that way," he growled and got up, his eyes warning
me I better follow his order. Jerk. "I'll pick you up tomorrow morning.
Eight. Be ready." Then he was gone before I had the chance to reply.

Chapter 7
Logan
LOADED WITH TWO GIANT COFFEES and bagels from the
Bagel Company, Logan was on his way to Rainey's house. He was still
wired from the thought of her having dinner with another man the night
before. Not even an extra hour of training last night had helped. He had
known it wouldn't, but his normal workout hadn't stifled his urge to hit
something—or someone—over and over again until his muscles started
to protest. All day yesterday, he had to keep himself in check, stop
himself from going back to the shelter, throwing her over his shoulder,
and taking her home so he could make it crystal clear to
her—preferably with his dick inside her—that she was under no
circumstances having dinner with another man ever again. She was his.
And his possessive caveman streak he hadn't known existed until he
met Rainey had egged him on, pushing him to stake his claim, to mark
what was his.
Christ. He took a deep breath in an effort to calm down as he waited for
the light to turn green, his fingers tapping the steering wheel.
His mood and agitation hadn't gone unnoticed. Right after he had left
Rainey's office, he had headed over to the gym, which was located only
a few blocks away from the shelter. Yes, now that he was making his
way up the ranks, he could have upgraded and trained at a higher-level
gym, but his roots were here. It was where he grew up and where he
found his calling. Right here at Pete's Gym. It didn't matter if he was a
small-time boxer or made it big. This was where he was going to train
no matter what. He was loyal to a fault, had learned what it meant to be
able to rely on people, to trust they would believe in you whether you
made it big or not, as long as you gave it your best. And he had learned
that right here, first under Pete's watchful eyes shortly after his dad had
left and he was on the brink of heading down the wrong path,

then from his current trainer, Jay. Jay always preached life lessons, be it
during training hours or in private. Both Pete and Jay were like fathers
to him, something Logan was more than grateful for. He had started to
spiral downwards when his mother found out about his father's
cheating and they split, and if not for Pete, he wouldn't know where he
would be now. Probably in prison. He had met Jay a few years after he
had started training under Pete. Jay had been a boxer himself, though
Logan didn't know much about his past. He'd never asked him about it.
In the beginning, he was too young to care. Later on, he respected Jay's
wish for keeping his past private.
Both of them had been on to him last night.
"Look at that, Pete. I know we're stepping up your training to get you
ready, but shit, Logan, what did that heavy bag ever do to you?"
"Fuck off, Jay," Logan growled on another punch, forcing the bag to
swing backwards, away from him.
"You got somethin' on your chest?" That was Pete. He sounded
concerned. Knowing how controlled and disciplined he usually was,
Logan wasn't surprised Pete had caught on to his mood.
"Nope. Nothing." Sweat was dripping down his forehead and into his
eyes. He wiped his glove across his forehead and got back into
position. But before he could land another one, Pete was holding on to
the bag, stopping him.
"Talk to me," was all he said, his eyes serious and waiting. Logan knew
he wouldn't be able to bullshit Pete, but he still tried, though his anger
and frustration were fighting to come to the surface.
"Got nothing to talk about, old man. You mind?" He gestured to the
bag, prompting Pete to move out of his way so he could continue, but
Pete didn't budge.
"Do I gotta knock some sense into you? Spill, son. We don't use anger
to get where we need to be. We use focus, determination, discipline,
and passion. You know this better than anyone. Now, spill."
Logan took a deep breath. Pete was in his late sixties, but Logan
wouldn't put it past his trainer to knock some sense into him. In fact,
Logan knew the old man wouldn' t hesitate to do just that. So he spit out
what he knew his trainers would pull out of him anyways.

"It's a girl, okay? I met someone and she is driving me absolutely
insane."
"Oh, fuck me." Jay rolled his eyes and crossed his arms over his chest.
"You're this aggravated over some tail you're chasing?"
Heat crept up Logan's neck. "Don't, Jay. Don't talk about her like that.
First of all, you know I'm not the tail-chasing type. And second, she is
anything but that." His voice was a low growl he could feel vibrate in
his chest. Nobody talked about Rainey that way, not even jokingly.
Jay's eyes narrowed on him, reading him. "Shit, you're serious about
this one, aren't you?"
"Very," he clipped, trying to rein in his anger so he wouldn't use one of
his trainers as a punching bag. Even though Jay didn't actively box
anymore and hadn' t since Logan had known him, even though he was
only in his late-thirties when they met about nine years ago, he was still
in serious shape. Logan wasn't looking forward to going any rounds
with the man. He wasn't sure he wouldn't get his ass handed to him.
Nevertheless, if he didn't tone it down, Logan wouldn't hesitate to take
that risk.
"Calm down. He didn't mean anything by it." Pete's serious and probing
eyes were still on him. Logan took another deep breath and calmed his
shit down. Pete was right. Jay had just been ribbing him. He wasn't
trying to insult him or Rainey. "So who is this girl that's got your
panties in a twist?"
Jay chuckled, and Logan couldn't help but chuckle with him. Jeez, Pete
wasn't far off in his assessment. "She works at the shelter I'm
volunteering at. She's amazing. But guarded. And stubborn."
"Giving you a run for your money, isn't she?"
He shook his head in bitter amusement and frustration. That was an
understatement if he'd ever heard one. "You have no idea." Now Pete
joined in with his chuckle.
"The good ones always do, son. So when are we going to meet this
young lady of yours?"
"I was going to bring her by tonight. She's been assigned to help with
the self-defense class I told you about. Seeing as she hates everything
related to boxers and has been trying to dodge my advances

for the past month, she wasn't too happy about it. I wanted to show her
the gym and introduce her to everyone, try to loosen her up and work
my way through her defenses," Logan explained while he started to
take his gloves off.
"She hates everything related to boxers?" That was Jay. His eyebrows
were pulled down low in consternation. He was probably wondering
what was wrong with Logan's head, pursuing this girl who seemed to
hate him on principle.
Logan shook his head again, this time in disbelief that someone would
have it in him to break Rainey's heart to the point she would never
consider dating another fighter. "Some asshole broke her heart. A
boxer. I think he made it big and took her for granted, cheated on her,
though she's denying it." Logan still wasn't sure he could believe her
denial, even though Rainey didn't strike him as a liar. He still hadn't
eliminated the thought of that fucker physically hurting her, but he
wasn't going to share that with anyone unless he was absolutely sure.
"So now she won't date another boxer out of principle." Pete wasn't
asking a question, just stating a fact. Logan shrugged his shoulders in
confirmation.
"I won't give up. Kissed her yesterday and she kissed me back.
Completely dropped her walls. I'm gonna get in there and I'm gonna
stay there, no matter how hard I have to bust my ass."
Pete shook his head at him, a smirk playing at his lips. Then he stepped
closer and clapped him on the shoulder. "That's my boy. Determined.
Going after what he wants. If you say she's worth it, then I know she is.
But you gotta put it in high gear, son. We're stepping up your training,
which means you need a clear head. You know what's at
stake."
Logan nodded. "I know, Pete. I'll have my head in the game for the
fight. I swear. We still got three months to go until then. I'm wearing
her down. She'll be mine way before then."
"All right then. Hit the showers. You've had enough for today."
Logan had hit the showers and had headed home not long after. He had
to force himself to go straight home without driving by a certain house.
If he had seen the lights on, he wouldn't have been able to hold

back and would have knocked on her door. And if the lights had been
out... His mind was conjuring up images of her and Ben and what they
would be doing with the lights out.
He shook his head, jealousy and possessiveness ravaging inside him.
Keep your shit together, Logan. She said Ben isn't her boyfriend. Don't
jump to conclusions and mess this up before it even started. The pep
talk didn't do much to calm him down, though, as he turned the corner
and saw her house. He was lucky enough to snag a spot right out front
and got out of the car, then reached back to grab the coffees and the
bagels. He checked his watch as he walked up to her house. He was half
an hour early. If he was lucky, he would catch her still in her jammies
or fresh out of the shower. Perfect. He had to keep her on her toes and
throw her off-balance, take charge and push her until she reached her
limit, then push her a little more. Last night, Rainey having dinner with
another man, wasn't going to happen again, or he would end up either
in a straight jacket or in jail.
And he would make that clear right the fuck now.
When he was about to walk up her steps, he saw movement out of the
corner of his eye and turned his head to Rainey's neighbour's house.
The door opened and a woman in her jammies, holding a cup of coffee,
stepped out as she was shouting over her shoulder, "Thanks for the
coffee, Ben! And thank you for last night!"
It was Rainey.
What in the fuck?
He turned his body to face her and watched as she made her way
toward him. She hadn't noticed him yet. Her eyes were trained on the
ground in front of her, watching her step, as she took a sip from the
coffee she was clutching to with both hands now, as if she needed
something to hold on to. Her gaze seemed preoccupied, worried, but
Logan didn' t let any of that penetrate as he tried to control the anger
that was slowly working its way up from his gut and threatened to
choke him.
Despite his efforts, he couldn't hold it in.
"What the fuck," came out of his mouth in a tight whisper, a whisper
that would tell anyone to be careful about what they were going to say,
a whisper that if it weren't a whisper would be a roar. He didn't

want to jump to conclusions, but it was pretty obvious Rainey had spent
the night next door. Her hair was up in a messy bun, and she wasn't
wearing any makeup; in fact, she looked like she had just crawled out
of bed, and she was in her motherfucking jammies. Jammies that
consisted of short shorts and a tight little tank top. And she had thanked
Ben for the coffee and for last night. Last night.
Rainey came to a sudden stop and her eyes flew up to his, shocked.
Then Logan watched as they turned from surprise into annoyance.
"Logan, what—"
Oh, no, little firecracker. You've got no ground to stand on. There's no
reason for you to be annoyed.
He took the two steps that separated them and glared down into her
eyes, shutting her up. Their bodies were almost touching as he repeated
his whisper, "What. The. Fuck." Before Rainey could answer, the door
she had just come out of opened and a middle-aged man appeared in the
doorway.
"You have got to be shitting me." Logan turned incredulous eyes at
Rainey. "This Ben?" he asked, not in a whisper. Rainey looked over her
shoulder then shrugged and said, "Yeah, that's Ben." Logan could tell
she was trying to sound flippant, but he could also hear trepidation in
her voice. He didn't want her to be scared of him ever, but he also
wanted to make it crystal clear that this shit would not be happening
ever again. Both to her and to Ben. So he stepped around Rainey and
made his way up the stairs until he stood right in front of the other man.
"You enjoyed your dinner last night?"
That motherfucker had the balls to smile smugly at him before he
nodded and said, "I did. I enjoy every dinner with Rainey."
Logan clenched his hand into a fist at his side. The asshole's smile grew
into a grin.
"I'm Ben." Logan ignored Ben's outstretched hand and leaned in until
they were almost nose-to-nose.
"I'm glad you enjoyed it. Make sure that feeling lasts a while, because
last night was the last time. Rainey will not be joining you for dinner
ever again, or any other meal for that matter. She also won't need you to
make her a coffee in the morning. I will be the only man she has

dinner with from now on, and I will be the one who makes her coffee in
the morning."
Ben looked over Logan's shoulder at what he knew was Rainey
standing there. He could feel her. But he didn't take his eyes from the
man in front of him. He would deal with his woman later.
His body froze when he watched Ben throw his head back and burst
into laughter.
"This is not fucking funny," he heard Rainey say through clenched
teeth, obviously annoyed with not just him but Ben as well now. He
stepped back when the door opened yet again and a beautiful woman
who looked close to Ben's age stood in the door, her eyes bouncing
back and forth between the three of them. Eyes that were more than
familiar. Eyes that had looked at him with contempt and annoyance.
Eyes that had flashed at him with anger. Eyes that had looked at him
with lust only two days ago.
"What the fuck is going on?" He looked from the woman to Ben, whose
laughter had turned into chuckling, to Rainey.
Rainey closed her eyes and sighed, in frustration or resignation, he
wasn't really sure which and didn't care at the moment. Then she
opened her eyes and said, "Mom, Ben, this is Logan. Logan, meet my
mom, Sarah, and her boyfriend, Ben." Her eyes glared daggers into his
when she said the last. Logan didn't back down and glared right back at
her. Fuck. She was gonna be more of a handful than he had thought.
And that was something after the shit she had already put him through
in the past month.
"Logan, it's so nice to meet you." Logan looked to the woman who was
coming toward him then surprised him by embracing him in a hug. She
leaned back but held on to his arms when she said, "We've heard so
much about you," through a huge smile.
"Did you now?" Logan mumbled under his breath as he looked over
Sarah's shoulder and locked eyes with Rainey for a moment.
"Yes. Yes, we have." This came from Ben, who was still chuckling as
he wrapped one arm around Sarah's waist and pulled her back and into
his side before he offered his hand to Logan once again.
"Let's try this again." Logan took the offered hand and gave it a

firm shake.
"I'm not sure what to say." And he wasn't. He hadn't ever been in a
situation like this, where he jumped to conclusions and lost his temper,
took it out on someone who didn't deserve it. The person who deserved
retribution was standing next to him. And he would make sure to take
care of that sooner rather than later, preferably with her naked body
under his and his tongue in her mouth, or better yet, with her over his
knee and his hand to her bare ass. Oh yes, this game of hers definitely
deserved retribution.
"Oh, you don't need to say anything." Ben glanced at Rainey as he let
go of his hand. "Does he, Princess?" Rainey didn't answer but
transferred her glare to Ben. "But I have to say, I'm glad to hear she
won't be relying on me anymore for her morning coffee. She can be a
moody bitch before she's had her fix." Sarah snickered, while Rainey's
glare intensified, causing Ben to chuckle once more.
"You don't say," Logan agreed, his eyes still on Rainey. If looks could
kill, they'd both be dead, but Logan held Rainey's glare until Sarah
asked him, "Would you like to come in and have some coffee? I can
whip up some eggs for breakfast. Or maybe pancakes?'"
"No, Mom, he doesn't want to have breakfast."
Logan ignored Rainey and said, "I appreciate the offer, Sarah, and I'd
love to take a rain check if you'll let me, but Rainey and I are expected
at the gym in less than an hour. I brought breakfast on the go for the
both of us seeing as I've suffered her morning mood more than once in
the past month and know how grumpy she can be without food in her
belly."
Ben chuckled once more, accompanied by another snicker by Sarah.
Logan smiled back at them, ignoring the heat he could feel on the side
of his face from Rainey's glare.
"I like him. He'll do." This came from Ben, who lifted his chin at
Logan, giving him his blessing through a grin. Logan returned the chin
lift, relieved he hadn't antagonized this man with his outburst. He could
tell they were all close by how comfortably and lovingly they were
teasing each other; even through Rainey's anger he could tell she was
close to both her mother and her mother's boyfriend. He wondered for a

second where Rainey's father was, but filed that question away to deal
with later. He wanted to know everything there was to know about her,
but right now, he had his hands full with convincing her to let him in
enough so he would get that chance.
Logan looked at Rainey and saw her head was hanging down as she
was shaking it with what he thought was frustration, but when she lifted
it when her mother called her name, he saw it wasn't that; it was
resignation mixed with apprehension, and maybe a little bit of fear. He
was about to move closer to her, to try and comfort and reassure her,
but Sarah beat him to it as she stepped close and cupped her cheeks
gently.
"Remember what I said, baby. It'll all be okay. You're strong. You can
do this," she whispered with her forehead touching Rainey's. Rainey
took a deep breath and closed her eyes, then opened them and nodded.
"Good girl," Sarah whispered, then touched her lips lightly to her
daughter's forehead before she stepped back into Ben's side. Ben pulled
her closer until she leaned into him. Logan watched all this with alert
and assessing eyes. Something was going on here, something
important. Rainey wasn't this upset over his jealous outburst and Ben's
teasing. Now that he thought about it, she had looked worried and lost
in her head when she had come out of the house. Add that to how sad
and defeated she had looked yesterday morning, and he knew
something big was happening.
Something he was going to find out what it was.
Then he would do anything in his power to make that sadness behind
her eyes disappear.
He meant it.
He'd do anything and everything he could to make sure Rainey never
had to be sad again, or worried, or scared, or any bad feeling that
existed.
It was a calling, a need he had to fulfill. To make her happy. To make
her smile.
To make her eyes sparkle with the light he had seen so many times at
the shelter when she worked with the kids, when she laughed with her
co-workers, when she played her guitar and sang.

That was his mission now: ensure Rainey's happiness, which in return
meant his happiness.
Without hesitation, he stepped into Rainey's space. He felt her stiffen
when she realized what he was doing, but he pushed ahead and gently
but firmly cupped her face with his hand, just like her mother had done
only moments before. Then he tilted her head until she was looking into
his eyes. Then he looked, really looked, into hers, searching, reading,
showing her he wasn't going anywhere no matter what she threw his
way. Like he told her yesterday, he wasn't going to hold back anymore.
Rainey' s eyes didn't waver from his when they turned from surprised to
annoyed to angry to confused until they settled on nervous.
Nervous was good.
Nervous meant she understood he wouldn't let her push him away.
Nervous he could work with. That's right, sweetheart.
He wanted her to tell him what was on her mind so he could help her
work through it, could help her fix it, or even better, could fix it for her,
but he didn't want an audience. So he took this win and leaned in to kiss
Rainey's cheek, close to the corner of her mouth, and felt her body
shiver when he did, making him smile.
"I like him too," he heard Sarah whisper, which turned his smile into a
huge grin.

Chapter 8
Rainey
SHIT.
Fucking Shit.
What the hell was I supposed to do now?
Logan showed up at the worst possible moment, a moment when I
wasn't expecting him, when I had my guard down, when I was
vulnerable.
I had just come from Mom and Ben's after another sleepless night, my
mind still on her tests and the results that would take a few days to
come in, and on what she had said to me about my anxiety about having
to go to the gym with Logan for work today. I hadn't admitted it to her
at first—she had enough to deal with right now and I didn't want to add
to that burden—but of course, she had seen right through me.
"Rainey. Spill." She gave me a stern look with that firm voice, the
Mom Voice, the one you know you didn't have a choice but to answer.
I sighed, giving in.
"I have to go to the gym today. For work."
"The gym? What do you mean? They're making you work out now for
work? Or are you taking some of the kids there?"
I sighed again, dreading having to talk about any of this, especially
with my mom. She hadn't gone to watch my father train as I much as I
had, but she had gone regularly, at least when he wasn't close to an
important fight—she had been too much of a distraction, and the
trainers had banned her from coming around the final crucial weeks
before a match—and she had always liked it, watching her husband
train, standing at the ring, proud. I didn't want to bring any of that up.
Yes, she had Ben now, but we still didn't talk about my father often;
never actually. And he had just come up yesterday when I had told
them about Logan. I wasn't ready to bring him up again yet, even
though I knew the

memories would invade my mind the second I stepped foot into that
gym, earlier probably. Hell, they were invading my mind now. Still, I
wanted to procrastinate for as long as possible. In the beginning, after
my father had changed and after my mom and I had moved out, Mom
had tried to explain to me why he did what he did, even though I knew
she didn' t fully understand his behavior herself. I might have been only
fourteen years old, but I understood and saw and heard more things
than my parents realized. So I knew my mother could never have done
what my father had. Still, she tried to never talk bad about him, at least
in front of me, told me he was still my father and always would be, that
he loved me and always would. Until the day the divorce papers came
in the mail. And with them his signature, giving up his parental rights,
and the request my mother and I give up his name and take on her
maiden name. That was the moment I had refused to ever talk to him or
about him ever again. I had been fifteen, almost sixteen, hadn't seen or
talked to my father in over a year, and my heart had shattered.
Yesterday had been the first time in a long time he had come up. A very
long time. I might think about him a lot, not in the front of my mind, but
in the back, though involuntarily. I never brought him up directly,
because I knew the pain I had experienced at knowing my father didn't
love me and gave me up without a fight, without even a conversation,
without anything at all, would never really go away, and what he had
done had shaped me into the adult I am now.
Having to talk about him now because I was close to panicking about
going to Logan's gym, was making me sick to my stomach.
"Not a normal gym, Mom. Logan is taking me to his gym. He is going
to run a self-defense class for our girls with some of the other trainers
there and since none of the other women working at the shelter are
available, Taryn put me in charge of the project."
I saw it click in my mom' s head when she understood what I was
saying. Then sympathy and worry entered her eyes.
"Baby," she murmured knowingly.
I closed my eyes, then opened them when I felt my mom's hand
covering mine. Her eyes were understanding and sympathetic, as well
as a little reproachful.

"Don't get mad. I now this will be hard for you and I know you don't
want to deal with all the memories, but I'm glad you don't have a choice
in the matter and are forced to go. It'll help you finally deal with
it."
"I've dealt with it plenty."
She squeezed my hand. "No, baby, you haven't. You have done your
best for the past ten years to avoid even thinking about it. That's not
dealing with it. That's repressing it. But, Rainey, like I've told you so
many times before, you need to love your life, and you cannot let what
happened with your father control you and your choices for the rest of
your life."
I started shaking my head. She didn't understand. She never would.
"Yes, I do understand, Rainey. It breaks my heart to see you hurt like
this, to see how much just going to a gym throws you back into that
black mood of yours, but I'm glad you're forced to face this. And I'm
glad you won't have to do it alone. I don't know Logan, but I'm glad
he'll be there."
"Mom, don't start again. I don't even know how to deal with him on top
of everything else." "Then don't."
I raised my eyebrows at her. "What do you mean, don't?" "Don't deal
with him. Don't treat him like he's someone you have to deal with.
Treat him like you do any other person you meet and work
with."
I shook my head and frowned. "I can't do that, Mom." "Why the hell
not?"
"You know why not. I told you, he took me by surprise and completely
rolled over me when he kissed me. I can't let my guard down with him.
Not even for a second. He'll take advantage and—"
"And what? Try to kiss you again? Try to be there for you?"
"Yes!"
"And what's so bad about that?" "Mom, you know what. I can't—"
"No, Rainey. Don't give me your excuses. And don't you look at me
like that. You know just as well as I do that's exactly what they are.

You're using your stupid dating rule as an excuse to keep anyone you
even remotely like from getting close to you. You're gonna end up a
lonely old spinster."
"That's not true. I go on dates."
"Pfft. Those dates you go on never go anywhere. That's why you agree
to them. Because you know nothing will even come of them." I
scrunched up my eyes in consternation.
"Oh, Rainey. You really didn't realize this?" I just kept looking at her.
"Honey, you' re scared to get hurt. I get why you want to protect
yourself, but you have to stop. It's been ten years. If this cancer turns
out to be worse, if something happens to me—"
"Mom, don't—" I tried to interrupt, but she wouldn't let me.
"I know. I told you I would fight this and I will. But I'm not gonna live
forever. And I want you happy, Rainey. I need to know you 're happy
and well. Please, try for me. If I have to pull the cancer card and pull the
guilt trip on you, I will. But I'd rather you opened yourself up because
you know it's time to start trusting again. Not everyone is out to hurt
you. Don't judge a person before you give them a chance, before you
even know them. That's not who I raised you to be."
Damn it. She was right. I wasn't a person who judged others lightly; I
was open and understanding and gave everyone a chance to redeem
themselves if they screwed up. I knew I had been judgmental towards
whom I decided to go on a date with, but I thought it would be okay as
long as it I did it to protect myself from something I knew would
happen. Why go through all the bad shit again if I didn't have to? It
made sense to me. But seeing my mother's disappointed and
reprimanding expression made my stomach drop. I never wanted to
disappoint my mother. She had done so much for me, had always loved
me, even through my darkest days and my moodiest phases, had never
judged me even when I deserved it, had always been fair in her
punishments even when I was completely out of line and had hurt her
feelings, had always loved me, deeply and unconditionally, no matter
what. I couldn't stand hurting her in any way. And I could stand it even
less now, when she needed to focus on her health, when she needed me
to be there for her. She didn't have the energy to worry about me. She

needed me positive and supportive, not broody and aggressive.
"You're right," I whispered, my voice small.
Her face split into a proud smile as her eyes lit up. I heard Ben cough
and choke on his coffee and looked up to glare at him. He raised his
hands as if to ward me off. "Now, Princess, don't glare at me like that.
You can't be surprised at my reaction." I knew he was right too, but
there was no way I'd admit that. I looked back at my mom and agreed.
"I'll try. I promise. But that doesn't mean I'm gonna start dating him. I'll
try to be nice and get to know him like I would anyone else, but that's
all I' m promising."
"That's all I'm asking. If you don't like him, you don't like him. But
don't shut him out before you even give him a chance. That's no way to
live, Rainey."
"Fine."
"Great!" She clapped her hands and grinned at me. I rolled my eyes at
her and at Ben, who was now chuckling as he threw his arm around
Mom and kissed her temple in adoration. I shook my head at them but
couldn't help but smile as I took a sip from my coffee.
"When are you going?"
"He's picking me up at eight." Silence for a second, then, "Rainey, it's
already seven thirty."
I checked the clock above the door and took a double take. Shit. He was
going to be here in thirty minutes. I jumped out of the chair and hurried
to the front door, shouting a Thank you over my shoulder as I closed
the door behind me.
Now I was getting dressed in my bedroom while Logan was waiting
downstairs after he'd taken me completely off-guard when he showed
up early. I couldn't believe the way he had reacted to Ben. He'd been so
jealous and ready to take Ben out for being for what I had let him
believe to be my dinner date and making me coffee. But should I really
be that surprised? After what he had told me yesterday? I shouldn't. Yet
here I was, completely thrown. I had thought his reaction ridiculous at
first and had gotten mad, but when I saw the look on his face when he
watched Ben with my mom, when he had understood who Ben was, I
had been somewhat embarrassed. Though stubborn as I am, I

hadn' t let him see that. I was behaving like an immature teenager,
playing games that were beneath a grown woman. I should have told
him yesterday who Ben was when he had asked. I knew what he had
thought, that I'd had a date, and him seeing me coming out of Ben's
house the next morning with a coffee in my hand, thanking him for last
night, I could only imagine the conclusion he had come to. Not that it
was any of his business whom I spent my time with. And in my
defence, I hadn't meant to take it this far, and none of that would have
happened if he hadn't shown up early, so it wasn't all completely my
fault. But I shouldn't goad him. That was juvenile and completely
unnecessary. I had seen the anger in his eyes, which in return had
spiked my anger, and had been ready to blast him right there before my
mom had intervened and reminded me of what I had promised. Then
the look Logan gave me when he touched my cheek.. .it had thrown me.
I had no clue what to do with it.
Or rather, with my reaction to it.
He had steamrolled me yet again. But not forcefully and pushy this
time. No. He had been so gentle, not just with his touch but by how he'd
looked at me with soft eyes, so understanding and reassuring, which
baffled me, because he couldn't know the whirlwind of feelings I'd
been living through these past few days. It had felt like he was looking
into my soul, which was so cheesy it made me shake my head just to
think about. No man had ever looked at me like that, and the tingles and
warmth it had created inside me completely confused me. But I didn't
have time to dwell on it.
I pulled my hair that was still wet from the quick shower I'd grabbed
into a messy bun, searched for a pair of clean yoga pants, a sports bra,
and a tank, pulled all of it on and made my way downstairs.
"Ready?" I asked before I even turned the corner into the kitchen,
fiddling with my hair while trying to remember where I had left my
runners, my eyes to the ground. I stopped short when I saw his shoes
enter my line of sight, then looked up and saw he was standing right in
front of me. Close. So close his body was less than an inch away from
touching mine. He was grinding his teeth, his face hard.
What now?

"That's what you're wearing?"
I cocked my head to the side. "Well, we're going to the gym, aren't we?
These are my workout clothes." I looked him up and down and realized
he was wearing jeans and a t-shirt. I frowned and said, "I thought you
were going to show me what you'd be teaching in the course. Like
actually show me. Hands on."
He lifted my head with a finger under my chin so I had to meet his eyes.
"I was only gonna show you the place and introduce you to the trainers
who are volunteering."
"Oh," I said, feeling like an idiot. "I'll go change real quick." I was
already half turning around to head back upstairs when he grabbed my
arms and pulled me into his body, so that now we were touching from
the waist down. His eyes were hot on mine. I swallowed.
"Don't. I thought I'd have to talk you into this whole thing, but I'd much
rather show you." His voice was low and his words were suggestive. I
put my hands to my hips in challenge while trying to take a step away
from him, something I failed in succeeding since he only tightened his
grip on my arms.
"I already told you it was a good idea. No need to talk me into anything.
My job is to make sure everything is set up and good to go, and I' m
there as moral support for the girls. I assumed you were going to show
me, physically show me, what the girls would be learning so I know
what I' m dealing with. Was I wrong?"
"No, you weren't wrong."
"Well, then I hope you have a change of clothes in the car."
"I don't. But I have one at the gym."
I gave him one stern nod. "Great. Can we go then?"
"We sure can."
I waited. He didn't move.
"You need to let me go so we can go, Logan." I was getting irritated.
"Give me a moment, firecracker. I'm trying not to kiss you." I narrowed
my eyes. "Why?"
"Why?" He scrunched his eyebrows in surprise yet again; this time a
smile playing at the corners of his lips added to my irritation.

"Yes, why?"
"That's a good question." I watched in horror—and if I was honest with
myself, in anticipation—as he lowered his face toward mine. I leaned
back, out of his lips' reach right before they were about to touch mine
when I realized my mistake.
"No, that's not what I meant. I meant, why do you want to kiss me?
I told you—"
"And I told you I wasn't going to give up. I never lie and I always stand
by my word."
"Do you now?"
"Yes. I do."
"Well, so do I." I crossed my arms over my chest even though it was a
little awkward since he was still holding on to said arms. Like I told my
mother, I wasn't going to give in. Just because I promised not to be a
bitch didn' t mean I was going to date him or let him kiss me again.
His eyes roamed my face and the smile was back on his lips. "This is
going to be interesting," he mumbled under his breath.
"No, Logan, it's not. It's very simple, actually. We're going to look at
the space, you're going to introduce me to the trainers, show me some
of the moves you plan on teaching the girls, then we'll talk about
scheduling, and I'll go back to work. See? Simple."
"Not even close, firecracker. Not even close."
He let go and stepped back, watching me as I went to the front hall to
get my sneakers.
"Why do you keep calling me that?" My eyes were focused on tying my
shoes, so I didn't see the smirk crossing his face, but I heard it when he
answered, "Because you're predictable but surprising at the same time.
Because you're spunky. Because if I'm not careful, I know I' m gonna
get burned and I still wanna get close. Because you're worth the risk
and I know, I just know, once you explode, you're gonna be the most
beautiful thing I have ever seen."
My hands froze as my eyes shot up to his face at hearing his words.
"And by exploding I mean you under me, me inside you, both of us
tangled up in each other until we can't tell each other apart, until we're
one."

I gulped. My heart was beating heavy in my chest, both out of fear and
excitement. My eyes followed his movements as he walked toward me
until he was looming over me, causing my neck to tilt at an
uncomfortable angle. Then he crouched down until our eyes were at the
same level and cupped my cheeks. "And I don't just mean that in the
physical sense. I mean that in any way possible." Then his lips brushed
mine in a gentle touch. I couldn't react, couldn't do anything but let him
kiss me in a way I've never been kissed before. That gentle touch did
more to me than a searing kiss ever could—and I knew from
experience that his searing kiss had the potential of turning me upside
down and inside out. Our eyes were open, and even though I was right
there, I didn't know what was happening to me, couldn't identify the
feelings washing over and through me. There were too many things he
was telling me with his eyes; I couldn't grasp them all. But what I could
read scared the ever-loving hell out of me: there were warmth and
affection, there was passion, there were promise, reassurance, and
protection; and most terrifying of all: there was trust. Trust he was
giving me and trust I could expect from him; trust he was going to
demand from me.
Always.
Oh dear God.
The moment that sank in, my body stiffened and my mind went into
overdrive, but before I could react, Logan leaned back and grabbed my
hand, lacing our fingers—which felt amazing by the way, but there was
no room in my head to process it—then snatched up my phone and
wallet from the little table in the hall, opened the front door, and pulled
me behind him to his truck. My mind was so jumbled up that all I could
do was follow him and let him put me in the passenger seat while I tried
to breathe and get my emotions under control. Logan didn't say a word
as he got in on the driver' s side and started the car; what he did do was
take my hand in his as soon as he'd maneuvered the truck out of the
parking spot and onto the street, again lacing our fingers, then rest them
on the console. I stared at our connected hands as his thumb gently
rubbed my knuckles, struck silent.
I lifted my eyes to look at his profile, expecting him to be smug about
my befuddled state, but what I saw was a relaxed Logan. He was

completely at ease, seemed happy almost. Though I thought I detected
a hint of apprehension as well.
"I...Uhm...I don't think—"
I wasn't sure what I was going to say, but it didn't matter since Logan
surprised me once again when he lifted our hands and placed soft kisses
on my fingertips, one by one. My breathing came out in little gasps, but
still he didn't make eye contact and remained silent as he drove.
I needed a minute or ten to get myself under control. It was just after
eight in the morning and I'd had already ridden the emotional
rollercoaster more than once in the less than two hours since I got up. I
hadn't had enough coffee for this kind of stress. Hell, there wasn't
enough coffee in the world to deal with this kind of stress. And I
needed food. Stat.
"I' m hungry," I said as soon as the thought crossed my mind.
Logan let go of my hand—which caused a feeling of loss in the pit of
my stomach I would never admit to and wasn't about to explore—to
open the console and pull out the brown paper bag I'd noticed in his
hand when he'd come to the house earlier. His chin lifted in the
direction of the travel mugs sitting in the cup holders. My eyes
followed and I realized they were my mugs.
"I got those ready and put them in the truck while you took a shower.
Can't let good coffee go to waste."
I shook my head. What the hell was I supposed to do with that? I
imagined Logan rummaging through my kitchen cabinets in search of
travel mugs, and surprisingly, it didn't make me upset. It should. I
should feel like he invaded my privacy or something by making
himself at home in my kitchen, even though he hadn't been invited to
do so. Shouldn't I? I shook my head again, trying to clear it, and
reached for the coffee.
"Thank you."
"You're welcome." I could hear the smile in his voice but didn't
comment. First things first. I needed caffeine and food in my belly if I
was hoping for the slightest chance of figuring out what I was going to
do. So I did just that. I pushed all the jumbled-up thoughts fighting for
attention in my head aside and ate the breakfast Logan had so

thoughtfully provided.
When we pulled up in front of the gym, most of my coffee was gone.
The bagel sat like lead in my stomach when I took a peek through the
front window. I could make out a couple of well-built men jumping
rope in the front of the—what looked to be huge—gym. My nerves
were getting the best of me at the thought of having to step inside. All
thoughts about Logan disappeared as dread mixed with disappointment
and anger threatened to overwhelm me. I closed my eyes.
You 're being ridiculous, Rainey. Get your shit together. It's just a
damn gym.
I took a deep breath, then opened my eyes and reached for the door
handle. At a squeeze of my hand I was reminded of it still being held by
Logan. I turned to look at him and was hit with sympathy and worry
shining from his eyes; and anger.
Why is he angry?
"Everything okay?" I asked, confused. "No." He shook his head.
"What—"
Logan leaned across the console, pulling me closer at the same time
until we were almost nose-to-nose.
"I can see you're struggling. Since you refused to tell me what that
scumbag did to you, I can only guess." He leaned in even further. Now
our noses did actually touch. "I want you to know you're safe with me.
I won't let anything hurt you. Ever." I started to shake my head, but he
stopped me as he let go of my hand and cupped my face in both of his.
"Nobody in there is going to lay a finger on you, Rainey. I promise."
He thought I was afraid of someone physically hurting me. I kind of
knew he would come to the wrong conclusion when he found out I
wouldn't ever date a fighter. It was sweet, but I couldn't let him think I
was some defenseless damsel in distress he had to keep safe.
"Don't worry, Logan. I can take care of myself."
He stared into my eyes for long moments. "You telling me you know
how to defend yourself?"
I shrugged my shoulders. Even though it had been a long time, I had
trained with my father for years. Eight years of training with a

professional boxer is not something you forget. I had started young, but
I'd been good. Really good. I had no doubt my body would remember
the movements if I needed it to. But I wasn't about to get into any of
that.
Logan narrowed his eyes just a smidge before understanding flooded
his face. "You took a self-defense class, didn't you?"
I shook my head no and sighed, knowing he wouldn't let this go until I
gave him something. "I had some training years ago." I left it at that. He
gave me that stare again, scrutinizing.
"You're not gonna tell me what kind of training, are you?" I shook my
head no again.
"All you need to know is I' m not scared to go inside because I think
someone is gonna hurt me."
"You gonna tell me why you had to give yourself a pep talk then?"
What? How did he know that's what I had been doing?
I didn't answer, just held his stare. Now it was his turn to sigh. "All
right, firecracker. Let's go." He pressed his lips gently to my forehead
before he let me go and got out of the truck. I watched as he stopped in
front of the hood and looked back at me, waiting. I flicked my eyes to
the entrance, then took a deep, fortifying breath and got out on my side.
Logan took my hand before he opened the door and pulled me inside. I
told myself to retract my hand, but I had to admit it felt comforting. So
I let him get away with it. I had other things to worry about as the
familiar smell of leather and sweat hit me.
I fought the memories as I looked around the space. The men I had seen
through the window, jumping rope, had moved on to push-ups and
crunches as they warmed up. One of them noticed me and winked at
me. I raised my eyebrows then dismissed him as I let my eyes wander.
There were speedbags and heavy bags hanging from the ceiling at the
back part of the gym, while three practice rings took up the whole other
side of the big room. It was busy this early in the morning. But I wasn't
surprised; boxers in training were early risers. I knew that all too well.
What did surprise me was seeing a familiar face among the muscled
bodies. Jesse was hitting one of the speedbags.
"What's Jesse doing here this early?" I asked more to myself, but

Logan heard me.
"He's here almost every morning to get a couple of hours in before
school." I raised my eyebrows in shock and disbelief. I had no idea he
trained at that level. Logan smirked, amused. Then his smile died a
little and turned serious. "And he wanted to be here today when I
showed you around. He's taking this project very seriously. He wants
this to happen and he wants it to be successful." I studied him. He
wanted that too, for this project to be successful, wanted girls to be able
to defend themselves, to feel safe and confident. Knowing he was
compassionate about something like that made my heart melt toward
him just a little. I had misjudged him. I squeezed his hand in mine
slightly and smiled at him in understanding and apology. When I
opened my mouth to follow that up with a verbal apology, Jesse
interrupted me.
"Yo, Rainey!" he shouted across the gym then jogged toward us. When
he made it to us, he looked down at our intertwined hands, and a slow
smirk that quickly turned into a wide grin covered his face. "Fast
work," he mumbled under his breath. I pulled my hand out of Logan's
and crossed my arms over my chest, irritated with myself for letting
him get away with it in the first place, for giving him the wrong
impression, and irritated with Logan for pushing, for taking advantage.
And for good measure, I was irritated with Jesse for commenting on it.
So I glared at both of them.
I pretended not to notice when Jesse threw Logan a glance while
mouthing 'sorry'; I also pretended not to notice as Logan clenched his
jaw while he gave Jesse a dirty look. Instead, I let my eyes roam as the
smell and noises of men training washed over me. I let my guard drop a
little to see if I could take it and was shocked to realize it didn't hurt as
badly as I thought it would, being here in a space and amongst people I
had sworn to myself I would never accept in my life again. It didn't tear
me apart to watch the men in the ring; the memories that came didn't
slice through my gut and make me want to vomit as I had expected they
would. It felt. comforting in some way. This had been a big part of my
life when I was a kid and young teenager. Apart from school, it was my
life. I had refused to think about it after my father left, but back then I
had wanted to be just like him. Deep down I had wanted to become a

professional fighter. I was young, but I had inherited the passion for
this sport from my father, and when he left, not only had I lost the most
important person in my life, that person had taken all this away from
me as well—my hopes and dreams for my future.
I had forgotten all about my plans back then, had shoved them so deep
into the recesses of my mind that they'd been lost to me until now. I
hadn' t been able to deal with it back then. Was I now? Was that what I
was doing right now? Dealing with it? I frowned and shook my head.
No, that wound cut too deep. I still didn't want to deal with any of it;
and I wasn't sure if I ever could. What I could do was be grateful for the
fact that being here gave me a sense of comfort and belonging instead
of making me feel miserable. But I would leave it at that and not think
too much about it, even if that probably made me a coward.
"Rainey?" I came out of my thoughts when Logan called my name. I
focused on him and realized he must have been talking to me, since his
face showed concern and curiosity in almost equal amounts. I shook
my head once more to clear it and said, "Can we get this over with? I've
got things to do." It came out harsher than I had intended, and my heart
sank when Jesse's face fell. I stepped forward and put a hand on his arm
in apology. "I'm sorry, Jesse. I didn't mean for it to come out like that.
It's just.. .I've got a lot going on. Can you show me where you're
thinking of holding the classes and teach me some of the moves?" He
studied me for a few seconds, his head tipped to the side, before he
nodded and led me to the far side of the room. There was a door that led
to a small room with floor-to-ceiling windows instead of a solid wall
separating it from the main gym so you could look inside, for personal
lessons or some intense training away from the business of the main
gym, I assumed.
We had to pass the practice rings on our way there. I watched,
fascinated, as a guy practiced his shadow boxing using the slip rope
technique. He was passing back and forth in a roll-under motion
underneath a rope that was stretched across the ring from side to side. It
was more fun and more intense than simple shadow boxing, since it
taught you awareness in the ring. You weren't just blindly boxing an
imaginary opponent, but instead the rope made you aware there is
something to pay attention to, made you remember your opponent was

close and ready to return fire. I had loved using that technique and had
been good at it, quick and light on my feet; so good that sometimes my
father would let me in the ring with him and used me as his shadow
boxing opponent as he tried to keep on the other side of the rope from
me, always moving, always breathing.
"It's called slip rope training," Jesse told me when he noticed me
watching.
"I know," I murmured under my breath, then stopped myself from
saying more in the hopes nobody had heard and shook my head to clear
it of the memory. I glanced beside me at Jesse and could see he was
curious, but he didn't comment or ask the question I could see in his
eyes. Probably because he didn't want me to snap at him again.
Smart kid.
Logan was quiet as well. I exhaled a relieved breath. It would have
been hard to explain that one away without going into detail.

Chapter 9
Rainey
THE ROOM IN THE BACK was perfect for self-defense lessons.
There was enough room to comfortably house a group of up to ten
people practicing without bumping into each other. Mats were neatly
stacked against one wall, and once both Jesse and Logan gave me the
run-down of what they had envisioned, we laid out a few so we could
get down to it.
We had started out with basic techniques after a quick warm-up for
Logan and me, like how to beat a wrist hold—instead of trying to pull
your arm away from your attacker you rotate your wrist until your
thumb lines up with where your attacker's thumb meets his fingers and
jerk sharply by bending your arm at the elbow—and how to position
yourself successfully to thrust the sole of your foot toward the
attacker's knee, incapacitating him long enough to book it. I had
practiced those techniques with Jesse. I'd had to be careful to not
instinctively get into the fighting stance and punch him— especially
when they showed me how to break someone's nose with an upward
palm strike—but let him come close enough to try and grab me. It must
be the environment and listening to all the boxing noises around me
that brought those instincts back. Not once in the past ten years did I
have the urge to use my fists. But I managed and caught on quickly.
Knowing Logan was watching my every move and seeing him out of
the corner of my eye wasn't helping though. And when he stepped in a
few times to adjust the positioning of my shoulders or my hands or my
hips, I had to fight against a shiver. His hands felt warm on my skin,
electrifying and soothing at the same time. I should have worn a shirt
over my tank. I had to remind myself several times to focus on what he
was saying instead of where he was touching me, getting more and
more irritated with myself by the minute. I wasn't

usually affected that easily, not that I had men standing this close to me
and touching me all the time, but I knew just Logan's presence, after
what he said to me earlier that morning, was what was distracting me.
And that irritated me. After about half an hour of explaining to me and
showing me which body parts were most effective to hit and how to do
it, we moved on to more serious physical contact.
Now we were down on the mats; Logan and I, that is. He had me
pinned to the ground on my front with him on top of me on my back,
his weight pressing me into the mat. I was trying with all my might to
get out of his hold, but I had a hard time focusing with Logan's heat
blistering my skin and his breath at my ear. After the third time of me
ending up on my back with him on top of me after he simply flipped me
with what seemed like no effort at all while I was struggling, I closed
my eyes on a deep and frustrated sigh and rested my head on the mat.
"This is frustrating," I murmured. I felt Logan's body shaking slightly
on top of mine and opened my eyes, then narrowed them on him. He
looked in no hurry to get up and off me. "You wanna get up?" I asked in
a tone that made it clear he better get up in the next two seconds if he
didn't want to get injured. I watched through a scowl as his smile turned
into a grin.
"Not particularly. I like it here." He lowered his face and brushed his
nose against mine. "I'd like it better if we were both naked though," he
whispered in my ear in a low growl. I stilled, shocked not only by his
words—I was quickly realizing he didn't care where we were or who
could see or hear us; he had made that obvious more than once
now—but by the heat in my stomach that made its presence known as a
tornado of butterflies took my breath away. I ground my teeth and tried
to ignore my body's reaction. But I didn't fool Logan. He saw it and
smirked. Bastard. Then he quickly kissed the tip of my nose before he
got up, taking me with him by taking a hold of one of my forearms and
pulling me up with him. This manoeuvre surprised me, so I didn't react
when he kept pulling my arm until I was planted against the front of his
body and his arm came around me, holding me.
"Let's call it a day," he murmured against my temple before he kissed
me there then dropped his arm and let me go. I staggered a little

when he did, making him chuckle. When I heard another chuckle
behind me, I whipped my head around and saw Jesse grinning at the
floor, unsuccessfully trying to hide his amusement. Shit, I had
completely forgotten he was in the room with us. I did what I do best
when I was annoyed or embarrassed or frustrated: I threw attitude.
"Don't you have to be somewhere? School maybe?"
"Free period," he answered through a grin. "Don't have to be there until
eleven."
I shook my head and started to put the mats away, grumbling, "You
have an awful lot of free periods. What, they don't have enough
material to teach kids anymore?" I was mostly talking to myself, but I
knew they heard my tirade because they were both chuckling again. I
chose to ignore them, then caught sight of the clock on the wall. "Shit."
"What is it?" Logan looked up from stacking the last mat.
"I don't have time for a run now. I have to be at the shelter for an
appointment at ten."
"You've got an hour and a half."
I shook my head. "I run for an hour and a half every morning."
Logan's eyebrows went up in surprise. "Every morning?"
"Yeah" I shrugged. Running was another thing I had done with my
father that I had given up on when he left us. But it had become evident
pretty soon that I couldn't handle the lack of physical activity. I had
gone from running and working out for hours almost every day to
nothing at all. Cold turkey. That combined with my emotional state at
the time had led to behavior I wasn't proud of, even a decade later. I had
needed the physical strain and exhaustion; both my body and my brain
had needed it. So I had picked up my sneakers one day after an
extremely bad episode at school and an even worse fight with my
mother when she had to pick me up and found out I had been suspended
for two days, and had started running. I'd come back two hours later,
covered in sweat and out of breath, but more balanced than I had been
in over a year. I didn't know it then, but I had needed an outlet to
channel my energy and to still my mind. My brain didn't go insane with
thoughts when I ran; my emotions didn't get the best of me. From that
day on I had run every day. I had gotten up early in the morning to
center myself before school and

had continued that routine throughout college. It had helped me
immensely when my mom was sick as well. I don't know what it was
about running, but it gave me the opportunity to focus my thoughts and
control my emotions.
"Shit," I said to myself when realization hit me. I hadn't been running
these past couple of mornings. The news of my mom's cancer being
back and everything else that was going on had thrown me so much I
had simply forgotten. That must be why I was letting Logan get to me.
I had to get control back. Running was out if I didn't want to be late for
my appointment; and I couldn't be late. It had taken me weeks to nail
Ashley down and make her promise to come talk to me this morning. I
would not jeopardize that progress. My eyes swung to the main room of
the gym and toward the heavy bags. I knew hitting the heavy bags was
a lot like running. Before I could change my mind or let the thought of
what I was about to do penetrate, I left Jesse and Logan behind and
walked out of the room and toward that corner of the gym as if on a
mission.
"Rainey?" I heard Logan call my name, but I didn't answer. I went
straight to the only heavy bag that wasn't being used and took position.
Then I took a deep breath and started hitting with my bare fists. The
first few hits felt awkward, but after a couple of minutes, it was like my
body remembered every little movement it had been conditioned to a
decade ago. I moved fluidly as I imagined the bag being my opponent
and kept the entire bag in my field of vision. I threw punch after punch
at the bag without losing my balance as I stood firmly on both my feet
and moved them in between the sounds of snapping smacks. I got in the
zone and stilled my mind, throwing punches faster and faster, only
resting for about two seconds in between each punch. I didn't worry
about hitting hard but focused on my breathing, explosive breathing as
my father had taught me. It all came back to me as if no time had passed
at all. I tried some combos: 1-2-1-2, then 1-2-3, then switched it up and
threw 1-3-2, 3-2-1. I was completely in the zone. Nothing and nobody
existed around me as I powered myself out.
When sweat dripped into my eyes and my breathing came hard and
fast, I stopped and braced my now sore hands on my thighs. My heart

was racing as I tried to regulate my breathing. I saw a bottle of water
appear in my field of vision and accepted it without looking up to see
who was handing it to me, then I straightened and took a few big gulps.
"Holy shit."
I opened my eyes and lowered the bottle. I had no clue who had said it,
because there was a whole group of men standing around me, staring.
Some with surprise in their eyes, some with appreciation, some with
respect. Jesse looked at me with a shit-eating grin no
seventeen-year-old kid should possess as he shook his head at me.
Then I met Logan's eyes; they were calculating. He was trying to figure
me out as he was standing there with his arms crossed over his chest. I
held his stare. Then one of his eyebrows shot up in challenge and
something else I didn't want to interpret. But I knew I wouldn't be able
to dodge his questions for long. He had told me already he was on a
mission to figure me out, to make me open up to him, to let him in, and
I could tell he was even more determined now.
"What did you say your name was?" This came from a man standing a
little further back. He seemed to be in his sixties and had trainer written
all over him. His eyes were alert and assessing, as if he was trying to
place me somehow. But I was pretty certain I had never met this man.
"Pete, this is Rainey Miller. Rainey, this is one of my trainers, Pete."
Logan walked up to me and stood beside me, his hand on the small of
my back as he introduced us. I watched as Pete's eyes narrowed on me
just slightly before his face split into a grin. Then he uncrossed his arms
and came toward me, his hand out for me to shake.
"She the girl you got your knickers in a twist over last night?" His eyes
didn't move from mine as he was ribbing Logan. Chuckles and teasing
started up around us.
"She is." My eyes shot to him. Logan didn't seem to mind being the butt
of the joke. The opposite seemed to be true. He was smiling. They had
talked about me. Pete knew who I was and what Logan wanted from
me.
"All right then. It's nice to meet you, Rainey."
My eyes went back to Pete and I shook his hand. "It's nice to meet

you too. I think." I wasn't quite sure what to make of this.
"You seem to be full of surprises. Judging by the look on my boy's face
here, he didn't know you can box." Pete was still shaking my hand
when he touched my arms with his free hand.
I swallowed. Here we go. "I had a few lessons years back." Pete's eyes
crinkled at the corner.
"You had more than a few lessons, girl. Who trained you?"
"Uhm..." There was no way I was going to share that information. So I
just shrugged. He let go of my hand and arm and took a step back.
Logan moved his hand from the small of my back to around my waist
and pulled me into his side. Pete's eyes turned bright as he watched this.
Then he looked at Logan and nodded one quick jerky nod.
"You ready to roll?"
Logan' s hand tightened on my waist.
"Gotta drop Rainey at home then I'll be back. Where's Jay?"
"He had an appointment. He'll be here later."
"All right, old man. Give me an hour."
"Sure thing, sure thing." Then his eyes came back to me. "See you later,
sweetheart."
"Sure," I said, still a little out of breath from my workout.
"Let's go." Logan pulled me with him as he walked through the throng
of still staring men to the front door, his arm staying tight around me. I
knew it was a claiming move to tell the other guys to back off, but I
wasn't fighting it. I didn't want to cause a scene with everyone staring
after us as we left. Neither of us said a word, not as the door closed
behind us, not as he led me to his truck, not as he opened the passenger
side door and guided me in, not when he swung in his side and started
the truck, not as he pulled out and drove me home. Not when he parked
in front of my house, not when he walked me to my door, not when I
unlocked the door. Not until we were standing in my living room. And
all this time I racked my brain to come up with a plausible lie or a
strategy to blow him off.
And failed.
Logan

Logan couldn't get the vision of Rainey hitting the heavy bag out of his
head. That's exactly what she had been: a vision.
He had known from the moment they walked into the gym that
something wasn't what he'd been thinking. In the truck when she had
given herself the pep talk, he had thought she was worried about being
in a room full of boxers, with big, burly men who knew how to fight
and hurt someone. Not that they ever would unless it was to defend
themselves. That's not how Pete ran his gym. If he ever found out one
of his boys started a fight outside the ring when it wasn't about
defending or protecting someone, they'd be out on their asses.
Everyone who signed up with him knew the score. It was the first thing
Pete makes everyone crossing the threshold promise: be honourable.
Be smart. Be respectful. If you didn't abide by his rules, you were out,
no matter how old you were, how good of a fighter you were, how
much he respected or loved you. So Logan knew Rainey didn't need to
be worried or feel intimidated.
But he also knew it wasn't easy for a woman, any woman, to walk into
a predominantly male boxing gym and not be intimidated. And
considering he still wasn't a hundred percent sure what had happened
for her to hate boxers so much and the possibility of someone having
hit her, hurt her, was still torturing his mind, he was being careful and
reassuring.
As soon as they had walked in, though, and he had noticed how she
deflected Johnny's flirting, he knew her apprehension hadn't been about
that. There had been something about the vibe she'd been giving off he
hadn't been able to put his finger on. So he'd watched her every move,
listened to her every word, focused on her every expression.
She had been anxious, almost riled up, when they'd walked in at first.
Anxious, not scared or worried. Her hands had been twitching the
whole time she'd let her eyes wander, flexing, clenching and
unclenching into fists constantly. He didn't think she'd been aware of it.
Then when Jesse had led them to the back room, she'd watched Sam

during his slip rope training, fascinated. But it wasn't just that. It was
like she'd been studying him, almost anticipating his moves and
unconsciously moving her head with him. And she'd known what it
was called. That had thrown him a little. There weren't a lot of people
who knew what slip rope training was; even less people would actually
know what it was called. So for Rainey, someone who he thought hated
the sport and wanted nothing to do with it to know specifics only
fighters themselves and trainers knew, told him there was more to the
story than he had anticipated. He knew of course Rainey was holding
back, but he was surprised to find out she was holding back her
intimate familiarity with boxing.
Then throughout the little self-defense session with Jesse, she had
given it away again and again, though he knew she thought she'd been
keeping herself in check. It had been little things: her eye movements,
the way she held her body, the way her body wanted to react to an
approaching opponent. She'd locked it down every time, but Logan had
seen the little twitches, the conditioned reactions that become habitual
for trained fighters. He had been sure then she hadn't just had a few
hours of fight training. He just hadn't been sure what kind of fighting
exactly it was she had been trained in. That's why he had switched with
Jesse and had wanted to see what she'd do when he pinned her down on
the ground. There were a lot of martial arts where ground training was
essential: MMA, Judo, Taekwondo, Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, the list was
long. Boxing was all about stand-up fighting and the punching
distance. He had wanted to see how she would do on the ground so he
could figure out what she was hiding. And it had become pretty fucking
clear she didn' t know much about grappling. Which told him she was
most certainly trained in boxing to some level, something he hadn't
expected when he'd picked her up this morning.
His little firecracker was full of surprises.
He shook his head, smiling to himself but staying quiet as he pulled
into her street. Fuck, but he couldn't believe it. He knew he had been
pushing her past her comfort zone. He'd made himself more than clear
that morning, had laid it out for her what she should expect from him,
but he knew it hadn't sunk in yet and would take a while for her to get

used to. He had made up his mind: no more waiting, no more
hesitating, he was going on the offense. So he had teased her, had
touched her whenever he could, more than he had needed to show her
the moves, and had been delighted to see her reaction. Again, she'd
done a good job of trying to hide it and hadn't he been looking closely,
he might have missed the light flush to her cheeks whenever his hand
touched her hot skin, the goose bumps that crawled up her arms when
he brushed by her, the sigh that escaped when he murmured directions
close to her ear. But he had been paying close attention, so he knew he
was getting to her. He had to call on his iron control when he'd been
above her, pinning her. His mind had started to run away from him,
showing him images of her naked and under him, his hands and mouth
caressing and worshipping every inch of her body. His dick had
strained against his boxers and he'd had to take a few deep breaths to
keep himself in check and not ravish her right then and there when her
sweet ass had moved against him as she'd tried to get out of his hold.
Even now just thinking about it directed all his blood between his legs.
She'd been on edge when he had released her; he could feel it. He had
expected her to throw her attitude around and lose her shit on him,
something else that made him hard even thinking about, but she'd
surprised him yet again when she'd zoomed in on the heavy bags and
had gotten to work.
Logan licked his lips as he glanced at Rainey. She was looking out her
side window, lost in her head, probably trying to figure out how to get
rid of him and pretend the last thirty minutes didn't happen.
Oh no, little firecracker. That's not gonna happen.
He parked the truck and followed her to her front door, then through it.
Now they were standing in her living room, staring at each other. He
was flexing his hands like she had done in the gym, clenching and
unclenching them in an effort to keep them to himself. It was hard. He
needed to touch her. Everywhere. Needed to explore every gorgeous
inch of her body. And he knew he wouldn't have to push very hard to
get what he wanted. But he also knew she would regret it and use it to
push him away. And that wouldn't do. He wanted their first time to be
something she wanted more of, not something she regretted. Further

more, they were under a time constraint. She had to be at work and he
was expected back at the gym. He didn't have enough time to worship
her and show her how good they would be together. So he had to wait.
He looked down at the floor and took a deep breath.
"I've got to—" She clamped her mouth shut when his head whipped up
and she met his eyes. He knew they were hot; he could almost feel them
burn in their sockets.
"I knew you were full of surprises, but this, gorgeous, this is one I never
expected in my wildest dreams." His voice was low and vibrating. She
took a step back, almost as if scared of what he might do next. His eyes
snapped down to her feet then back at her face. He scowled at her.
Oh fuck no.
"Oh no, baby. You're not scared of me." He said this while he advanced
on her. She stood her ground, proving him right.
"Logan, I don't have time to do this right now. I have a meeting with
Ashley I cannot miss." There was pleading in her voice, and at the
mention of Ashley's name, Logan's face lost some of its tenseness and
softened. He stopped a foot away from her and cupped her face in both
hands, gently but firmly, making it clear there was no chance in hell he
would let her get away. They didn't have enough time to get into it now,
but he would at least make sure she knew he wasn't going to let this go.
She was going to talk, if she wanted to or not.
"I don't either, not right now. But we will talk about this, Rainey. You
will tell me, in detail, what the reason is for hang-ups about dating
fighters. After what I've seen you do today, I know you're not scared of
us. I know you can hold your own. Hell, you can do more than that.
You can probably give me a run for my money if you put your mind to
it. I know you've got professional training. I also know it's been a while.
More than a year or two. My guess would be less than five though. You
move like you're born to box, but you're rusty." He watched as her eyes
went wide and panic seeped in. He leaned closer, brushing her lips
softly with his, then pulled back an inch. "Don't, baby. I know you don't
believe me yet, but you can trust me. Whatever you tell me will be safe
with me. I won't judge and I won't change my mind about you."

Her eyes changed to something he couldn't interpret. He forged on. "I
gotta get back, but I need you to answer one question. Then tonight, I'll
bring dinner and we'll talk."
"What?" she whispered, unsure.
"I know you're from Boston. I've also been boxing for a while, so I
know people in this city who box." She swallowed. "Who trained you?"
Her eyes went even bigger as she tried to pull away from him. He didn't
let her and moved his body in so they were full-frontal, touching from
their stomachs down. She gave up the fight and sighed, resigned.
"Who?"
"My father," she whispered and closed her eyes as if in pain. His head
jerked in surprise.
"Your father was a professional boxer?" She nodded but kept her eyes
closed. Logan racked his brain, trying to remember a boxer from
Boston with the last name Miller. He came up blank.
"Where is he now?" He definitely wasn't in the picture. Her mom had a
boyfriend. They seemed solid in a way that told him they'd been
together for a good long while. He was part of the family. Even from
their brief encounter that morning, Logan could tell Rainey treated Ben
like a father figure, and Ben thought of Rainey as his daughter.
Rainey shook her head. Her eyes were still closed, but now she was
also scrunching up her face and renewed her effort to pull away from
him.
Jesus Christ.
Then it came to him and he froze. Shit. Her father had died. Because of
boxing. He had been injured and had died. That would explain why
Rainey was scared of getting involved with someone like him. Because
what he did was dangerous. Because he could get hurt badly enough
that she could lose someone she loved. So to protect herself, she didn't
let herself get close.
He shook his head.
No, that wasn't it. Musicians didn't get hurt like that. Neither did actors.
Anyone who strives to make it big, be famous, and become rich. Anyone
who is ruthless enough to do anything to reach that goal and throw a
tantrum when things don' t go their way. Her words played

through his mind as he tried to make sense of it all. Then he did.
She was afraid of losing someone she loved. That held true. He was
sure of it. But the reason behind it wasn't the danger of injury or
possible death. Her father wasn't dead. Or if he was, he didn't die
because of boxing. But he wasn't in their lives, had been out of the
picture for a long time. It had to do with him choosing his fame and
fortune over his family, or something similar to that scenario.
Shit.
If he was right, it was no wonder Rainey had trust issues. He knew what
it felt like to be abandoned by your father.
"Rainey." She had stopped trying to pull away from him while his mind
had wandered. Her hands were now holding on to his wrists as she was
staring at him, waiting. Her eyes were filled with tears, but she hadn' t
let them fall. It broke his heart to see her like this.
"He left, didn't he?"
She said nothing, just quietly stared at him through her tear-filled
eyes.
Fuck.
He moved in as closely as he could until their noses were touching and
their lips were less than a breath apart. "I won't leave you."
She shook her head. "You don't know that."
"I do. I won't choose my fame over you if it ever comes to that. Which
it won't. It's not even a consideration."
She kept shaking her head.
"Rainey, listen to me. If you let me in, if you trust yourself to me, I will
do anything I can to make sure you'll never regret it. I promise you.
Your father was an idiot, a loser, the lowest of the low for leaving you
and your mom. He threw away the best thing a man can wish for, the
only thing a man should fight for until his last breath: his family's love.
I' m not that stupid."
"You don't even know me. How can you say—"
"I know you, Rainey. I might not know everything about you, but I
know who you are. I see you. You can't hide from me. It's too late. I've
seen her. I knew she was there the moment I laid eyes on you."

"Who?"
"The beautiful girl inside you. The one you're trying so hard to keep
locked up. She's passionate, caring, loving, loyal, and feisty. Stubborn
too." He said the last on a small smile then brushed his lips against hers.
To his surprise, she asked for more and pressed her lips to his. Logan
didn't hesitate and snaked his arms around her, pulling her in as tightly
as he could while he took her mouth. All too soon he pulled back, then
pecked her softly once, twice, before he leaned back to look at her.
"I gotta go," he said with regret in his voice.
"Me too," she whispered, a little dazed. Logan grinned. She scowled at
him. He chuckled then kissed her once more.
"I'll be here around seven with dinner. Then we'll talk. After that, I' m
spending the night."
"I can't."
"Rainey—"
"I mean I'm not sleeping here tonight." He narrowed his eyes at her.
Where the hell was she planning on sleeping? "I took a night shift. I' ll
be at the shelter until seven tomorrow morning."
Well, damn. There went his plans for the night.
"I'll come to the shelter."
"Logan, I already got in trouble for you kissing me in front of the kids.
I don't want you to—"
He kissed her lips to shut her up. "I'll bring dinner for you and the kids.
Pizza. Then we can sit down and watch a movie or something. Then I'll
go home and pick you up in the morning when you're done."
"I'm not sure."
He smiled. "Rainey. I'm not gonna do anything in front of the kids. I
already promised you that. But I want to spend time with you. Doesn't
matter where. Doesn't matter how. As long as I get to be near you."
She sighed. "You're too much. I don't know what to do with you." Oh,
he had a few ideas. He communicated these with a sexy smirk. She
slapped his chest, making him laugh. He liked this Rainey. She was
playful and soft and unbelievably sexy. Even though she was still
hesitant and unsure, she had let him in not just a little bit. She had

opened the door wide enough for him to come all the way in, if she
realized it or not. And he planned on staying there. No matter how
many times or how hard she was going to try to push him out, he
wouldn't let her.
Yes, he liked this Rainey.
Just as much as he liked the feisty Rainey, the tough Rainey, and the
passionate Rainey.
The more he found out about her, the more there was to like.
And this knowledge solidified it for him, made him absolutely certain
down to his core. Nothing and nobody would ever change that.
She was his.
His one.

Chapter 10 Rainey
I LOOKED AT THE CLOCK in the corner of my computer screen.
I'd made it to the shelter with only minutes to spare. After Logan had
completely steamrolled me yet again, it had taken me longer than usual
to get myself organized for my double shift. I had run through my
second quick shower of the day and had packed my overnight bag willy
nilly, still too flustered from the morning's events to formulate a clear
thought or a plan of action until I had given up on that unsuccessful
endeavour and pushed it all aside.
Weak, I know.
And yes, I know, I needed to find a better way of dealing with things. I
just had no fucking clue what to deal with first. I was overwhelmed and
out of my emotional depth. So I focused my thoughts on something I
knew I was good at in the hopes I could turn this day around: helping
runaways, Ashley in particular. It didn't seem like that was going to
happen today.
I went to check the common room. A handful of kids were hanging out,
lounging on the sofas, chatting, passing the time. I looked around,
trying to see if Ashley was with them. She wasn't here. It was now half
an hour after we were supposed to meet.
"Shit," I mumbled under my breath as I tried to decide what to do about
her no-show. Ashley didn't strike me as someone who would renege on
her word. Yes, she was gun shy and had a do-not-approach attitude, not
the bitchy kind, the quiet kind. But she had promised to meet with me
today to talk. I assumed she was scared as a jackrabbit to get close to
anyone, to trust. God knew I could relate to that, even though our
reasons behind it were different. I knew we had a connection.
Whenever she was here at the shelter, she gravitated toward me. Not in
a

loud way. In fact, she hadn't said more than ten words to me since I'd
met her, but she was always around when I was out in the common
room or outside. In her quiet way she would sit somewhere close to me,
close enough so she could hear what I was saying when I was shooting
the shit with the other kids or tried to impart my wisdom on various
things. She never participated in any of the discussions or
conversations, just sat quietly and watched everyone. I could tell she
was storing all the information away, stashing it in her mind as she read
each and every one of us, like she needed it to survive. Her face was
always unreadable, and since she never talked to anyone, no one knew
what to make of her. I'd heard some of the other kids talk about her,
wondering who she was, where she came from. But nobody
approached her, at least not that I knew of.
So when she'd had agreed yesterday to sit with me and talk, I had
thought I had finally made some progress as to figuring her out, to
finding out what situation she was in and help her get out of it and
support her in moving toward a better life. I hadn't thought she would
be a no-show, had been certain she would follow through. It never even
crossed my mind.
So now that she wasn't here, I was worried.
She had been here every day for the past month, some days just for an
hour, some days for longer, usually in the afternoons. I had a feeling
she wouldn't today.
Yes, I was worried.
"Damn it," I swore.
"What's the matter?" Lizzy was walking up toward me and handed me
a steaming cup of coffee.
"Thanks." I sighed then took a sip. "I had a meeting scheduled with
Ashley. She was supposed to be here half an hour ago. No-show."
Lizzy' s eyebrows scrunched in worry. She knew what that meant. We
had talked about Ashley several times. Lizzy was known for being the
queen of the hard cases. Every kid who came to the shelter liked her,
but the hard cases adored her, trusted her, and were loyal to her. Like
Jesse and Chloe had been when they were runaways. Though those two
weren't the only ones or even the hardest cases she had worked. But for

whatever reason and to my and everyone else's complete astonishment,
she couldn't find an in with Ashley. Complete no-go. She'd shut her
down almost the minute Lizzy had made her careful approach, just like
she'd done with everyone else who had tried to get her to come out of
her shell. But she had agreed to talk to me; tentatively and hesitantly,
but she'd agreed with a quiet "Okay." She wouldn't have done that if
she'd planned to blow me off.
"Shit. What are you gonna do?"
I shook my head. I didn't have a good feeling about this. "I'm gonna go
out and look for her."
"Do you have any idea where she could be?"
I didn't have the slightest clue. But that wouldn't keep me from trying to
find her. I would go out and see if I could round her up, make her talk to
me.
"I'm heading out right away. Hit the popular spots, see if I can find out
anything, if someone's seen her, maybe drive around and try to spot
her." It wasn't a good plan since like I said, she didn't talk to anyone and
nobody knew who she was and where she came from, but it was all I
could do. I had a heavy feeling in my gut that something had happened,
a feeling I didn't dare ignore since it was usually right.
"All right. Good luck. Call me if you need me."
"Will do." I headed back to my office to get my car keys and phone and
headed out.
I hit the spots most of our kids frequented first, talked to the kids I knew
and some kids I didn't, with no luck whatsoever. What I got were
headshakes and shoulder shrugs. The kids who knew and trusted me
said they would keep their eyes open and let me know if they saw her,
but I wasn't optimistic that would happen. Then I started to drive
around randomly, searching the streets in a five-mile radius around the
shelter. I came up with zilch. Two hours had passed and Ashley was
nowhere to be found. It' s like she was a ghost, smoke.
I pulled out my cell phone and called Lizzy.
"Any sign of her?" Lizzy asked the moment she picked up.
"Nothing. I suppose she hasn't shown up at the shelter?" Lizzy wouldn't
be asking me if I had found a sign of her if she had shown up,

but I had to ask.
Lizzy sighed. "No. Shit, Rainey. I know she mostly shows in the
afternoons, but I don't have a good feeling about this." That made two
of us. That knot in my stomach had gotten bigger with every minute
that passed and I didn't find her. I rubbed my forehead and squeezed my
eyes shut.
"I'm gonna try for another hour then come back if I can't find her." "All
right." We hung up.
This was the part I didn't like about being a social worker. Trying to
work within the limits the system provided us with to help these kids
was often frustrating, but this was the worst part. The part when they
didn't accept our help, when we lost someone. Our shelter had one of
the highest success rates in the city, not just in pulling kids off the
streets and finding them a new home, but in reunions with their families
as well. We were a great team, passionate about our job. Each and
every one of us did whatever was in our power to help these kids. It was
our calling. And it showed. But we knew there was also a small
percentage of kids we couldn't help, who either didn't want our help,
thought we couldn't help them, or kids who disappeared on us. It was
hard, and try as I might, it always took a piece of me whenever that
happened. I didn't want Ashley to be one of our lost causes.
After another hour of keeping my eyes peeled while I drove around and
stopped to walk through a couple of parks but coming up empty
handed, I steered my car back to the shelter.
By now it was after two o'clock. The only hope I had left today was
Ashley showing her face in the afternoon. I got to work, my mind never
far from Ashley, and passed the time by talking to our tutor about some
of the kids' progress, making phone calls, scheduling our volunteers for
the upcoming week, talking to Martha about the meal plan, and
updating Taryn on the self-defense class situation. It was when I sat in
her office to report to her, I realized Logan had never introduced me to
the trainers who would be involved. The only person he had introduced
me to was his trainer, and I doubted Pete had enough time to dedicate
himself to be hands on with a rather big undertaking like that.

But since the gym was named after him, I should have sat down with
him to discuss the room availability and such. See if we were on the
same page. Thanked him for letting us use his space. Be professional.
Instead of focusing on my job, I had been selfish and had made a
spectacle of myself.
I shook my head as I apologized to Taryn. "I'm sorry, Taryn. I wasn't
very focused and missed my opportunity to talk to the owner when he
was introduced to me. I'll see if I can arrange another meeting
tomorrow."
Taryn eyed me, not as my reproachful supervisor, but as a concerned
friend. "You okay, Rainey? I can see something is bothering you. You
know my door is always open."
"I know."
"Is it Logan? You can't work with him?"
I sighed. "It's not that. I just.. .I've got a lot going on right now." I wasn't
lying. I did have a lot happening. Logan was one of those things, but I
wasn't going to discuss any of that with my boss.
"Anything I can help with?"
There was, actually. Taryn always reminded us about trying to keep an
emotional distance. The emphasis being on trying. She knew how it
was, had worked in the field for over two decades, meaning she had
tons of experience and could more than relate. So she knew it was
practically impossible to stay distanced. Getting close and being
empathetic was part of why we were so good at our job. Still, she liked
to remind us to at least try, so we wouldn't lose too many pieces of
ourselves and didn't burn out before we hit thirty.
So I told her about Ashley's disappearing act and how worried I was for
her. There wasn't much Taryn could do. It's not like we could file a
missing person's case. She was a runaway. We didn't even know if her
name really was Ashley. More often than not, runaway kids gave a fake
name or the name they assumed after they left their homes so they
wouldn't be found or couldn't be reunited with their families. It was a
common occurrence.
"I'll make a few phone calls. See if she turns up anywhere else."
"Thanks, Taryn. I know it hasn't even been a day yet, but I just

know something must have happened for her to stand me up like this."
"I agree with you, Rainey. She's one of the girls who break your heart,
who you know is going through something awful. It's written all over
her face." See, Taryn understood. She shared the same intuition, the
same gut feeling we all used to guide our actions as social workers in
difficult and sometimes hopeless situations.
"I made a few calls earlier this afternoon, but your reach goes farther."
Taryn nodded. "I'll make some calls."
I nodded again, grateful, the weight on my shoulders lifting slightly in
the hopes that with more people on the lookout we could locate her.
"Anything else you need to get off your chest?"
I shook my head and bit my lip. "I don't want to burden you with my
personal problems. But I appreciate your concern. I promise I'll get my
head together and do a better job tomorrow."
Taryn narrowed her eyes on me and leaned across the table, her
expression serious and a little annoyed.
"Rainey, I' m not offering to lend my ear because your job performance
has been subpar. It hasn't. You always give more than a hundred
percent, more than is expected of you. I value that and am grateful for
it. We all have bad days where we get distracted and can't focus. It's
normal. We're human. And it's understandable especially in this kind of
field. We deal with heavy emotional shit day in and day out.
It takes a toll."
"That's not it. I love my job. I don't see it as a burden to try everything
possible to help these kids."
"That's not what I meant. I meant that because what we deal with every
minute of every day is draining and affects our lives outside of work.
People say to leave your job at work, but it's impossible when you do
what we do. That means if something big happens in our personal lives,
we have a harder time dealing with it. It can become too much and can
get overwhelming. So if there is ever something you need to get off
your chest, or need any help, know my door is always open.
I stared at her for a moment. I knew I had an amazing boss, but she'd
never spoken to me like that. We got along great, but she'd never

asked me to share anything personal.
"Thank you," I whispered. "I'll keep that in mind."
"Please do," Taryn returned, her eyes soft and understanding, almost
motherly on me. "I know you're a hard nut to crack, Rainey, but you
don't have to do everything on your own. You've got friends, people
who care."
All I could do was nod.
What the hell was going on? Less than a year ago, I had been perfectly
content without sharing deep, emotional secrets with people. Now I
had Lizzy, who knew pretty much all about me, Bobby was pushing her
way in, Logan had figured me out, and my boss was reaching out. And
of top of that, my own mother was emotionally blackmailing me to give
someone a chance I wouldn't have given the time of day otherwise.
This was getting out of control.
Getting? Who was I kidding? It was out of control.
Not knowing what else to say, I was relieved when my phone rang and
I could excuse myself. I answered without checking the screen, hoping
someone had spotted Ashley.
"Hello?"
"Rainey." It was Logan. I rolled my eyes as I walked into my office and
sat down heavily. I was done with this day. Too bad I had more than
twelve hours to go before I could head home and forget a big portion of
it.
"How many pizzas do I need to bring?"
Shit. I had forgotten about him coming down and bringing dinner for
the kids. Well, not forgotten exactly. Conveniently repressed was more
like it.
"Logan, I can't—"
"We've had this discussion, Rainey. I'm coming over and we're
spending some time together. I promised not to make a move on you
while you're at work, but that's all the reprieve I'm gonna give you."
I growled in frustration. Yes, growled.
Logan chuckled. "You're adorable."
"And you're a condescending ass."

"How many pizzas, Rainey?"
I sighed. Shit. He wasn't gonna let me talk him out of this.
Goddamn it!
"Let me check who's gonna be here," I snapped before I hung up on
him. Then I stomped down the hall to the bedrooms to see who was
gonna stay the night and checked in the common room to see if I had
missed anyone.
I called him back five minutes later.
"We have a full house tonight," I told him without a greeting when he
picked up. "That's ten kids who are staying the night." "All right. I'll
bring enough for everyone."
I was silent, too aggravated, worried, exhausted, too everything to say
anything. This lasted a while. Don't ask me why I didn't hang up. I have
no clue. I just sat at my desk, waiting for Logan to say something, my
mind all over the place.
"How did your meeting with Ashley go?" That stopped the whirlwind
in my head.
"What?"
"Your meeting with Ashley. How did it go?" "How do you know about
that?"
"You mentioned it this morning." I did. I had mentioned it. "You
remember that?"
"Of course, I do. I knew it was important to you." He made a point to
remember and ask me about it because he knew it was important to me.
Shit.
I felt that somewhere deep.
Shit.
I was in trouble.
I dropped my head until my forehead met the desk with a thunk and
closed my eyes while I whispered, "She didn't show."
"At all?"
I shook my head even though I knew he couldn't see me, then
verbalized that with, "She hasn't come in today."
"Shit, baby. I'm sorry." I nodded against the desk, knowing he

meant it. "Anything I can do?" Shit again.
He needed to stop being so nice and considerate.
I sighed. "I went out and looked for her but came up empty."
"She'll turn up, Rainey. It'll be okay."
"I hope so," I whispered.
There was a short pause. "I'll be there in forty-five minutes. An hour
tops."
"Okay," I answered.
Another pause. Then, "It'll be okay, Rainey. We'll find her and make it
okay." He knew I was worried and was trying to reassure me.
Shit.
Again, I felt that somewhere deep.
Somewhere I hadn't felt anything in a long time.
Maybe never.
I was so totally screwed.
w w w
An hour later, I was gaping open-mouthed as Logan and Jesse walked
through the front doors, not only loaded with a stack of pizzas each but
both of them carrying two plastic bags.
Holy smokes. He was crazy.
Cheers of "Pizza!" and "Awesome!" sounded through the room when
the kids saw them. I smiled.
It wasn't often that these kids got spoiled with food. We provided a
simple hot lunch every day as well as snacks in the mornings and
afternoons, but dinner was a rare commodity at the shelter. So it made
me happy to see them excited about it.
Logan caught my eyes and winked at me. Then he dropped the boxes
on the table and went back outside, Jesse following suit, while
everyone else descended onto the boxes of cheesy goodness. Before I
could say anything or tell them to wait, the doors opened again and

Logan and Jesse brought in two cases of soda. Man, he thought of
everything.
The emotional rollercoaster I had been on today took another loop,
making my head spin even more.
"I see he's making progress," I heard someone murmur in my ear,
startling me. I jumped.
"Jesus, Jimmy. You scared the snot out of me."
Jimmy was our night-time supervisor. He had his own room here, spent
five to six nights a week at the shelter, depending on who was on
rotation. Policy demanded that two workers be present at all times, one
of them male—at least at night—for safety reasons. Since our team was
somewhat short on male staff—apart from Jimmy we currently only
had male volunteers plus our tutor—he was working more hours than
he should have to.
He chuckled. "Usually not that easy to rattle you."
"Yeah, well, I was distracted."
Jimmy's eyes swung to Logan then came back to me, amused. "I just
bet you were."
I made a harrumph sound in the back of my throat, but for once had no
comeback. I wasn't the only one who was shocked by that.
Jimmy's eyebrows shot up in shock. "What? No quick-witted
comeback? Now, that's a first."
I narrowed my eyes on him. "Watch it, old man. I've had a rough day.
Don't push your luck."
"Now that's the Rainey I know and love." He grinned. I shook my head
at him as a smile played around my lips. Then Jimmy leaned closer to
my ear, where he said gently, "And there's that smile a lot of men
would move mountains for to have it directed at them." He leaned back
far enough to catch my eyes. "Mountains as big as the Rockies, honey."
Then before I could say anything, he winked at me and headed in the
direction of the pizza, passing Logan on the way and giving him a chin
lift.
"There a meat lovers' somewhere in this pile?" I heard him ask before I
watched him open boxes until he found what he was looking for and
dug in.

"You okay?"
My eyes left Jimmy and the eating and chatting kids and moved to
Logan, who had made it to where I was still standing at the mouth of
the
hall.
I shook my head. "No. Not even a little bit."
He took a step closer, invading my personal space so I could feel his
body's heat even though he wasn't touching me, and looked down at
me, studying my face. "Let's eat some pizza and watch a movie. Take a
load off."
I nodded.
A good and easy night of pizza and a movie with the kids sounded
good. I definitely didn't want to deal with any more drama. Or with all
the thoughts that were jumbled up in my head: my mom and what she
was about to face, the memories of my father that had surfaced in the
past couple of days, Ashley's disappearance, heart-to-hearts with my
boss, and last but not least, Logan and his unwavering determination
that I was starting to realize was beginning to break through, no matter
if I wanted it to or not.
Yes, a good and easy night of greasy cheese pizza while watching an
action movie was exactly what I needed to clear my mind.

Chapter 11 Rainey
"WALK ME OUT?"
It was close to eleven. I had sent everyone to bed fifteen minutes ago.
Jesse and Logan had stayed to help with the clean up, and it was time to
hit the sack.
God, I was dog-tired.
Instead of waiting for an answer, Logan took my hand and pulled me
behind him.
"Later, Jimmy. Jesse, you coming?" he said as we walked out the
door.
"Is he your new sidekick?"
He stopped us at the side of his truck. His mouth was twitching.
"No. I gotta drop him at the gym to get his car."
"Oh." The twitching turned into a grin. Then he moved closer and
cupped my cheeks with both hands, then moved them until his fingers
were in my hair and his thumbs were sitting just below my ears.
"I'll come get you tomorrow morning and take you to breakfast."
I shook my head. "I've got my car here."
"We can come back and get it after breakfast."
"Logan—"
"Hush, Rainey. I'm taking you to breakfast, where we will talk. We' ll
worry about your car later. Now, kiss me goodnight."
"You know, just because I promised my mom not to be a bitch to you
doesn't mean I'll let you boss me around."
"You promised your mom not to be a bitch to me?"
I didn't answer and glared at him instead.
"Good to know I have an ally," he murmured as he leaned closer. I
knew he was going to kiss me. I pushed against his hands and he
stopped

less than an inch from my mouth.
"We both know you want to kiss me, Rainey. Stop fighting me." His
breath was hot against mine.
Yes, I wanted to kiss him.
I had spent more time with him today than I had in the past month
combined, and had learned a lot about him. I had misjudged him. Was
he a pushy bastard? Absolutely. Was he cocky? Definitely. But he
wasn't arrogant. And he wasn't a jerk. He seemed to be a genuinely nice
guy. I had noticed tonight that the boys respected him. I already knew
the girls swooned over him, but he didn't feed into it, didn't give them
any ideas, but treated them more like he would a little sister. He was
respectful and laid back. A fun guy.
The opposite of what I had thought him to be.
So I wanted to kiss him, and to my own shock, I knew I was going to let
him.
And so did he.
I was about to close my eyes when I heard a harsh "Shit" and then
running footsteps. Both our heads swung around and we watched as
Jesse ran toward the street. Toward what looked to be a person
dropping to the ground.
"Ashley," I whispered in horror and took off after him.
When I got to her, she was lying on the ground with Jesse leaning
above her. He lifted her head carefully and brushed the hair out of her
face. I winced at what I saw.
"Fuck," came from Logan, whom I felt behind me then saw move to the
other side of her.
"Shit, Ashley," Jesse cursed in a tortured whisper.
"No." That was me.
Her face was bruised and bloody. Her lip was split and there was a cut
on her temple that was still dripping blood. One eye was swollen shut
while the other had tears running out of it.
"Came after... me...tried...run... but...not fast... enough." Then she
passed out.
"No, no, no," I chanted as I watched Jesse pick her up gently. "We're
taking her to the hospital," he ground out, not taking his

eyes from her face, and then walked toward the truck without waiting
for us to reply.
I pulled my cell phone out of my back pocket as I hurried after him and
called Jimmy. Logan bleeped the locks while he was jogging to the
truck, then opened the back door for Jesse to get in. Jesse didn't let go
of Ashley but kept her safely in his arms. I was getting in the passenger
side when Jimmy answered.
"Rainey? What's wrong? Where are you?"
"I' m outside. We just found Ashley collapsed in front of the building.
We're taking her to the hospital." "Shit! What happened?"
Logan started the truck and sped out of the parking lot. I shook my
head. "I don't know. But she's beaten up. Her face is covered in blood
and bruises."
"Motherfucker! "
I had to hold on to the dashboard as Logan took a turn. "I'll call Taryn.
You take care of our girl and let me know what's going on."
"Okay." I hung up then turned around. "She still out?"
Jesse glanced at me and nodded, his jaw set. "I'm gonna kill the
motherfucker who touched her."
I could see it in his eyes. He was ready to commit murder. I didn't
blame him. I was close to the edge myself.
Ashley groaned and both our eyes shot back down to her. Her one eye
was open and on Jesse. I watched in fascination as Jesse's face gentled,
giving her a soft look as he brushed his fingertips softly along her
hairline.
"You'll be okay. We're almost at the hospital."
Panic entered her eye and she started to struggle to get out of Jesse's
arms. "No," she whispered. "No hospital. He'll find me." My stomach
turned at hearing the terror in her voice. Heat suffused me, and I balled
my hands into fists.
"Shh. It'll be okay. We'll take care of you," I tried to reassure her.
"Listen to me, Ashley. He won't touch you. Nobody's gonna hurt you."
Jesse tightened his arms around Ashley, doing this gently so as not

to hurt her. But his voice was firm and unwavering, full of promise.
Ashley settled and stared up at Jesse. "You promise?" she asked in a
shaky whisper.
"I promise you, Ashley. No one's gonna hurt you. I won't let them."
She closed her eyes on a sigh and a breathy "Thank you." I turned
around to face the windshield. My hands were still in fists and I was
grinding my teeth.
Shit! Shit! Shit!
I knew something was wrong when she didn't show up this morning. I
should have looked harder, should have asked more kids, should have.
"Goddamn it," I hissed under my breath as I continued to scold myself.
Then I felt a hand grab my wrist and watched as Logan placed a kiss on
the back of my closed fist.
"Keep it together, baby," he murmured. "She needs you. Don't lose
it."
I took a deep breath and gave him a quick nod as I unclenched my hand.
He rewarded me with another kiss before he placed my open hand on
his thigh.
"That's my girl."
Two minutes later, we stopped in front of the emergency room. I swung
out my side and opened the back door for Jesse. We hurried inside and
were led straight into one of the bays. As soon as Jesse carefully lay
Ashley down on a stretcher, we were told to wait outside. Jesse's eyes
stayed glued to Ashley until a nurse closed the curtains. We walked to
the waiting room, where he leaned against the wall and crossed his
arms on his chest, his jaw clenched, his teeth grinding.
I couldn't sit down either. So I paced the small room, back and forth,
back and forth.
"Rainey."
I stopped. "I knew something was wrong. I should have—" Logan
grabbed my arms and gave me a slight shake. "This isn't
your fault. You tried to find her. You drove around for hours. That's all
you could do."

"I should have tried harder to make her talk to me." Logan shook his
head. "She wouldn't have let you. She would have taken off. You know
that."
I did know that. Still. I should have figured out a way. "I hate this part."
His grip loosened and his eyes softened. Then his arms came around
me and he held me tightly against him. My arms snaked around his
waist, holding him right back. I felt his lips touch the top of my head
when he murmured, "I know, baby. I know."
We held each other like that for long moments. Moments in which I
realized that this felt nice, being held like that. Nobody had ever done
that. Not since my dad. My mom gave the best hugs in the world and I
was tight with Ben, but this was different.
Standing in Logan's arms like this made me feel safe and cherished.
Protected.
Supported and understood.
I took a deep breath, and on the exhale, I let go a little bit more, opened
myself up a little further to the possibility of trusting this man. I
tightened my hold on him for a few seconds before I leaned back and
whispered, "Thank you, Logan."
He stared into my eyes, searching.
Then I saw understanding hit and his eyes get wide before he kissed the
tip of my nose and pulled me back against his chest. "You're welcome,
Rainey."
By the time a doctor came in, an hour had passed and I had gotten calls
from both Taryn and Jimmy. Since I had no news, I promised to call
them as soon as I knew what was going on.
"You waiting to hear on the girl?"
I stepped forward. "Yes. Ashley. We're here to find out how she
is."
"You the ones who brought her in?" I nodded.
"No family?"
"She's a runaway. I work at the shelter on the east side of town.

We found her outside the building and brought her here."
"I see." I could tell he wasn't happy with this news.
"How is she?" This came from Jesse. He'd been waiting patiently for
the doctor to tell us, but I could tell his patience was running out.
"She's doing okay, all things considered. Her face took the worst of the
damage. Nothing is broken, but the swelling is severe and she'll be in a
fair amount of pain for a few days. She has a couple of bruises on her
stomach and her wrist is sprained, but again, nothing is broken and
there is no internal damage."
"Why did she pass out?"
"She sustained a hit to her temple. And she's exhausted. The bruises are
several hours old and she's dehydrated. All of that contributed to her
losing conscience."
His eyes came back to me. "There is one other thing." He glanced at
Jesse then lowered his voice. I braced and could see Logan and Jesse do
the same out of the corner of my eye. "She had dried blood between her
legs, so we did a rape kit. She wouldn't tell us, but if I had to judge on
what I've seen, she's been violated." I closed my eyes and hung my
head as tears started to blur my vision. No matter how many times this
happened, the devastation knowledge like this brought never ceased.
But I had to keep it together. Ashley needed me. And Jesse needed me
to not lose it. The doctor kept talking. "I've admitted her for the night.
She's hooked up to fluids and I gave her something to sleep. She needs
rest."
I nodded in understanding. "Thank you, doctor."
"Can I see her?" Jesse asked.
The doctor nodded slowly. "For a few minutes. Then I want her to
sleep."
Without another word, Jesse turned and headed out the door. "I better
go with him," I whispered.
"Go. I'll wait here." Logan lifted his chin in the direction Jesse had
disappeared. Sadness and fury were shining in his eyes.
"We've got her now. We'll keep her safe." There weren't many things
one could say in a situation like that. The only thing we could do was
take care of her now.
"We do, baby. Go," he whispered on another chin lift.

The compassion and empathy, as well as the rage burning in his eyes,
made me fall for him a little right then and there. But since I couldn't
give any thought to that right now, I gave him a small smile I knew
didn't fully reach my eyes before I turned around and followed Jesse.
I found him standing next to Ashley's bed, her hand in his. He didn' t
say anything, just watched her lying there with her eyes closed. "Is she
asleep?" I asked.
Ashley's uninjured eye opened and found me. Her lips quivered. I
rushed to her other side and took her free hand in mine as I smiled
down at her.
"You're safe now, honey. We'll take care of you." "I'm so scared." Her
whisper was breaking my heart. A growl made both of us look at Jesse.
I caught the shock on Ashley's face.
"Easy, Jesse."
Ashley tried to pull her hand out of his, but he held on.
"Jesse—"
"You know you have nothing to fear from me, Ash. You know I would
never hurt you."
A few seconds passed until she breathed a quiet "I know." He squeezed
her hand and gave her a proud smile.
Good lord. That boy was more a man than most of the men I had met or
gone out with.
"Get some rest, honey." I brushed the back of my fingers against her
cheek. "I'll be back tomorrow."
"What's gonna happen to me?"
"We'll figure it out tomorrow. The doctor wants to keep you over night
so he can get some fluid into you and you can rest. I'll be back in the
morning and we'll talk."
"You're not gonna send me back, are you?"
"Back? On the street? No, honey. You don't have to live on the streets if
you don't want to."
"No." She shook her head. "I meant back home. You're not gonna send
me back home, are you? I can't go back there."

I clenched my teeth as realization hit me and the puzzle pieces came
together. She had been hurt by someone close to her, someone who had
come after her. It hadn't been a random act of violence she fell victim to
as a street kid. That's what she'd meant when she'd said he'd found her
before she passed out.
"No, honey. You don't have to go back."
"Swear?"
"I swear. But Ashley, you gotta talk to me," I pushed. In order to help
her as best I could I had to know what we were dealing with. If the
person who'd hit her was someone from home, living with her, we
could make certain she wouldn't be sent back. We could protect her.
She gave me a small nod, her eyes hesitant. "I'll tell you. I wanted to
today, but t h en . " Her lip started to quiver again.
"Shh. It's okay. I promise you we'll figure this out. You trust me?"
She nodded again as a tear made its way down her cheek. Before I
could catch it, Jesse did, making me smile and Ashley's eye widen in
surprise.
"Good. Trust me to take care of you." "Okay," she whispered.
I squeezed her hand gently in mine. "Rest. I'll be back in the morning."
"Okay." She closed her eyes, and it only took her moments until she
was asleep.
"I want to come with you to pick her up," Jesse informed me as we
walked back to the waiting room after we left Ashley to her rest. "You
like her, don't you?"
"I do, but it's not just that. There is something about her that I . . . I don'
t know. I feel. like I need to protect her. Like I did with Chloe, but
different."
I smiled to myself.
Oh yeah. He liked her.
But we had to be careful right now so she wouldn't run scared. "Jesse, I
don't think that's a good idea right now. She's timid around boys and
men. She doesn't talk to them." "She talks to me."

I looked at him, surprised. "She does?"
He nodded. "Not much. A few words here and there. A nod. But that' s
more than I ' ve seen her talk to anyone else."
I hadn' t known that. That changed things. It meant she trusted Jesse at
least to some degree; she had felt safe with him in the hospital room,
knew she had no reason to be scared of him.
I sighed. "All right. You can come. But you have to promise me to be
gentle and mindful. Don't push her too hard. And you can't sit in on our
talk."
Jesse's teeth were clenched. "I just want to be there for her. I ' m not
gonna push her to do something she doesn't want to do," he ground out.
I touched his arm. "Relax. I know you're a great kid, Jesse. I just
wanted to be clear. She needs to feel safe and supported, and it looks
like she trusts you."
He gave me a quick nod, letting me know he understood.
"All right. Let's get you home."

Chapter 12 Rainey
I WOKE UP FEELING A heavy arm on my waist and heat against
my back. I was lying on my side, facing the window, the rising sun in
my eyes.
The last thing I remembered was sitting in Logan's truck on our way
back from the hospital. I knew we'd had to stop at the gym parking lot
so Jesse could get his car, but I didn't remember actually doing that.
Which meant I must have fallen asleep.
Now, I was in my bed, in what felt like panties and a t-shirt, spooned by
another body, which could only be Logan's.
I tried to scoot out from under the arm that was holding me, but was
thwarted when that arm tightened and pulled me in closer. Then I felt
Logan's hot breath on my neck as he snuggled in deeper and murmured,
"You awake?"
"Uhm..."
I felt his body chuckle against mine. Which felt nice.
As did his lips when they touched the skin behind my ear.
I lost his heat when he moved back, then felt his hand pushing against
my stomach, rolling me onto my back. His heat came back when he
settled half against my side, half on top of me.
"Good morning, sunshine."
"Morning."
His eyes were roaming my face before they came back to mine,
amused.
I tried to think, which was a hard feat this early in the morning with no
coffee in my system.
"How—" My question got cut off when Logan's lips touched mine

and his tongue went searching, softly first, gently, then harder and
more demanding. I could do nothing but give him what he wanted.
So I kissed him back just as fiercely and whimpered, just a little.
I felt his answering groan and snaked my arms around his neck when he
moved his body fully on top of mine until he was covering me from
chest to knees. His hands were in my hair, holding me, keeping my
head in position, as his weight hit me.
God, he felt good.
Our tongues were tangling, exploring, teasing. I opened my legs and he
fell through.
I could feel he was ready as he ground himself against my heat, causing
me to whimper again. I tore my mouth from his when his hands started
wandering down my neck and over my shoulders, down my arms, then
back up again on my sides, taking my shirt with them. My hands were
exploring his naked back under his shirt when he stopped just under my
breasts, slightly touching the underside with his thumbs.
It felt sexy.
I wanted more of it.
"Logan," I whispered, needy, when he didn't continue.
"God, Rainey, you're so beautiful." He kissed me again, deeper this
time, as he pushed against me. But his hands stayed where they were.
"I want this with you."
"Okay," I breathed, expecting my consent to get him back to moving
his hands. When he didn't, I opened my eyes and caught his looking
down at me with intensity.
"I want this with you, Rainey, more than you can imagine. But I want
you to realize what this means."
Still deep in a sexual, needy fog, I wasn't quite sure what he was saying.
He touched his lips to mine and kept them there while he held my eyes.
"Once we do this, that's it."
My head shot back, pushing against the pillow. Then I froze.
What?
"You bastard," I whispered, shocked and humiliated. God, I was such
an idiot. Of course that's all he wanted. He had bested the challenge

and could walk away the winner, his record intact. I shook my head in
disgust as I started to push against his chest, needing him to get off of
me.
"Rainey." His voice was firm and reprimanding. "Look at me." He
resisted my push and dropped more of his weight on top of me,
waylaying any chance for me to get up.
My eyes moved from looking over his shoulder to meet his. They were
a little amused and a lot frustrated. "Clearly, you mistook what I just
said."
"I think you've made yourself pretty damn clear. Now, get off." I
pushed harder.
"No. Stop and listen to me." When I didn't let up, he grabbed my wrists
and pushed them up above my head and against the mattress, causing
more of his weight to settle on me.
"You bast—" His lips crushed mine, interrupting my name-calling. The
kiss was intense but short.
"What I meant was, once we do this, that's it for us, as in no pushing me
away, no going back, no shutting down, no running away scared.
You're mine and I'm yours."
I froze again, shocked for a different reason this time. He couldn't be
serious.
"What?" I whispered.
"Rainey. I've made myself pretty fucking clear more than once. I'm into
you. Way into you. Not just for a quick lay. I want you. All of you. So
before we do this, I want you to know I'm not gonna back down and I'm
not gonna go away. Once I take you, I take you." "Are you joking me?"
He narrowed his eyes on me. "Not even a little bit." I studied him.
"You're telling me if I don't agree to be yours, as in completely yours,
we're not going to have sex?"
"No, I' m saying that when I slide inside you in about two minutes, you
will be mine. Utterly and completely."
My eyes went wide and my mouth gaped open. "You are
unbelievable."
"Don't try to fool yourself or me, Rainey. We both know you gave

in last night when I held you in my arms at the hospital. When you went
sweet and soft and thanked me while you held me right back. You let
me in. And I have no intention of leaving or letting you push me out."
Jesus Christ, but he was blunt.
"You're the most straight forward person I have ever met. And that's
saying something, coming from me."
His lips twitched infinitesimally before he rested them against mine
once more. "Just making sure you get me."
"Oh, I get you, all right. And you're absolutely insane. I'm my own
person. I don't belong to anyone but me."
"I see I' m not being clear enough," he said on a sigh then rolled us until
we were facing each other on our sides, his arms around me keeping me
close against his chest.
"When I say you're mine, I don't mean you can't be your own person. I
love that you say what you think and do what you love. And I love that
you don't let people steamroll you. You stand your ground and fight for
what you believe in with a passion I admire. And all of that comes from
your heart. I want in that heart, Rainey, and I want to stay there. Like
you are in mine."
My eyes went big. I stopped breathing, while my heart went into
overdrive.
He kissed me softly, a barely-there touch of his lips against mine,
watching me as his words sunk in.
"You hardly know me," I whispered in shock.
"I know you, Rainey. I've taken it slow and given you time. Now, your
time has run out."
"Two days is hardly taking it slow."
He smiled. "More like a month."
My eyes went wide again. "You only met me a month ago." He held my
eyes, unwavering, but stayed silent. "That's impossible."
"You not believing it doesn't make it any less true." "You're telling me
you fell in love with me on first sight?" He shook his head. "I was
fascinated with you on first sight. The falling in love part happened a
little more every day. It's still

happening."
"That's not possible." Things like that didn't happen in real life. No
way, no how.
He tightened his grip around me and pulled me flush against his body
until we were nose-to-nose.
"It happened. It's done. I know I'm ahead of you, but you can't deny
feeling something for me. You like me. And you want me."
No, I couldn't deny that.
Not after the last twenty-four hours.
Even before that, if I was honest with myself.
I had consciously felt it the first time he'd kissed me in the common
room a few days ago. And every time he'd touched me after that. I had
just been too stubborn and scared to let it penetrate. His touch did
something to me, something I couldn't explain, something I had never
felt before.
I closed my eyes on a sigh and buried my face in his neck, not brave
enough to look at him when I said, "No, I can't deny it." "Good, baby."
"I don't know...I can't..."
"You don't need to. I told you. I'm in, and I have no intention of going
anywhere. That's what I meant when I said you're mine. You're with me
and I' m with you. Exclusively."
"I can do exclusive."
"That's good, since you don't have a choice, baby." There was humor in
his voice, even though his statement was firm.
He rolled us once more so I was on the bottom and he was on top of me
again. "Now, can we pick up where we left off?" He peppered my face
with soft kisses, starting at my eyelids, then moving to my nose and
down to my chin, where he nibbled slightly before he ran his tongue
down my neck to my collarbone, stopping at the edge of my shirt.
"Okay," I whispered as his hands started in on the action and brushed
whisper-soft hands down my sides to the edge of my panties, where his
fingers stopped and drew slow circles.
Good god.
"We're clear?"

"We're clear."
"Thank god." Then his hands went up and he yanked off my shirt
before his mouth crushed down on mine and he took me in a passionate
kiss.
From that moment on, we were all hands and mouths and tongues as we
explored each other, took each other.
I couldn't get enough of his naked skin, needed to touch him
everywhere, needed to feel it connected to mine. I grabbed the back of
his shirt and pulled it up and over his head. When he settled back down,
I realized my bra was in the way, so I arched my back and twisted my
arms to get at the hooks on my back. As soon as it was off and I felt his
hot, smooth skin against me, against my breasts, I moaned and arched
against him, wanting, needing more. He gave it when his arms came
around me and he pulled me up against him as far as I would go while
he took my mouth again with a deep, masculine groan.
I could feel him hard and hot against me as I tilted my pelvis and
ground myself against him and moaned.
He tore his mouth from mine. "Jesus, baby."
"Logan," I whispered, too lost in the sexual fog to form a full sentence.
His mouth went to my nipples, teasing, licking, and nibbling before he
started sucking hard. I closed my eyes and moaned again, louder this
time, completely lost in the sensation of his mouth on me, his body on
top of mine, his arm around me. I felt him everywhere, yet it wasn't
enough.
"Yes," I breathed when his hand slid down to my panties, then inside.
He found my clit and pressed in, slowly circling, spreading my
wetness.
"So fucking beautiful."
Heat burst through me when he slid one finger in while he kept at my
clit with his thumb. I threw my head back against the pillow and started
writhing.
God, that feels good.
"Show me, baby. I wanna see." I wasn't sure what he meant, but it didn't
matter. I wasn't in a position to answer or do anything when it hit

me and all I could do was let it happen. Heat rushed over me while
goose bumps covered my whole body. I arched into him, my eyes
closed, my hands gripping his shoulders as I came.
When I came back from my high, I felt kisses showering my face.
"That was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen." I smiled against
his mouth, but was still too far gone to open my eyes. His mouth
wandered down, across my chest, over my belly, down to the edge of
my panties. Then he placed a kiss on me over the fabric before he
pulled them down and slid them off.
I opened my eyes and looked down at him. His eyes were hot on me
when he kissed me again, this time with nothing in the way. I stopped
breathing when I watched his tongue come out, then panted when he
used his fingers to spread me open and his tongue flicked my clit. His
eyes closed on what I could only describe as a savouring grunt as he
tasted me. He took his time doing that, working me up again while I
could do nothing but take it and watch him in fascination and desire.
Then he licked his way up my stomach again until his face was over
mine as he was pushing against me while he held my eyes.
"Ready?"
I nodded.
The next second, he was inside me, filling me. Our combined groans
filled the air. He didn't start moving right away, but instead stared down
at me in wonder.
"You're mine."
I didn't say anything as I held his stare, couldn't say anything.
Something was happening to me, something I couldn't identify. It was
like Logan wasn't only taking my body; he was taking so much more
than that. My mind filled with him as my heart opened itself and he
poured inside, filling it, claiming it as his. I tried to hold back, to stop it,
but there was nothing I could do but let it happen while his eyes bore
into me, into my soul.
"And I'm yours." I closed my eyes then, needing that space, needing to
keep a little part of me to myself.
This was crazy.
Absolutely insane.

And happening way too fast.
I wasn't like that. I didn't give my heart away to anyone. Heck, I trusted
less than a handful of people enough to know about my secrets and
fears, and two of them were my family. For years, I had protected
myself, had closed myself off to the chance of getting hurt, of getting
left behind, of not being important enough to be kept. Now, here I was,
filled by a man whom I had never expected to get close to, whom I had
written off as a arrogant bastard, who scared the shit out of me.
Yes, here I was, completely taken to a degree I didn't even know was
possible, had never imagined to let happen.
But I was helpless against it.
Utterly helpless.
A tear slid down my cheek. Then a soft thumb brushed it away.
"Open your eyes, sweetheart," Logan whispered gently.
I did and watched his face through a veil of tears.
"You feel it, don't you?" He held my cheek and kept brushing his
thumb back on forth over my cheekbone ever so gently. I didn't answer.
I didn't need to. He could see it.
"Don't be scared. I've got you."
What was I supposed to do now? I knew it was done, could feel it,
couldn't deny it. Shit.
I shook my head, not in denial, but because I had no clue what to do or
say. "I...You...I don't know..."
"Baby, what did I say?"
I kept shaking my head.
"I've got you." It was a promise, a vow. He was certain. I wasn't sure I
could ever match that certainty. "Trust me."
"I don't know how." That was as honest as I could be. I didn't know
how to trust. Not enough to hold nothing back. "I'll show you."
Then he started moving. Neither of us closed our eyes as he moved in
and out of me slowly, gently, lovingly. Our mouths were touching, but
we weren't kissing. It was intimate, the most intimate I had ever been

with anyone. My breathing turned into panting when he picked up the
speed and started thrusting into me. I gave back as good as I got and
moved with him, my hands gripping his butt cheeks, pulling him closer
into me. There was no space between us. We were touching
everywhere, holding each other as tightly as we could as we moved in
sync. When it hit me, his eyes went dark and he started bucking,
chasing his own release, then finding it and groaning into my mouth
before I was finished.
Our breathing was harsh and fast, but we didn't let go, held on to each
other while we came down.
"I've got you," he repeated his promise, then he kissed me slow and
deep while we were still connected.
Logan
They were sitting at a booth in the far corner of the Pancake House. The
waitress had just dropped off their coffees and taken their orders.
Logan watched as Rainey took her first sip and closed her eyes in
contentment. He smiled to himself. This would never get old; he was
looking forward to a lifetime of watching his woman enjoying the
simple things in life. Just as much as he was looking forward to giving
them to her.
His mind went back to watching her as he made her come for the first
time. He had wanted to show her he would always take care of her,
would always put her first, and had been captivated by the sight of her
letting go.
He hadn' t been lying. She really was the most beautiful thing he had
ever seen in his life. And the feel of her.
Jesus, he could still feel her heat around him.
That was another thing he knew he would never get enough of:
worshipping Rainey's body while being connected with her in the most
intimate way.
He wasn't a choirboy, nor was he a player, but he'd had a good

amount of experience. Never, not once, had anything come close to
what he had been feeling when he slid inside Rainey. It had taken his
breath away, tilted his world on its axis. He had known they'd be
dynamite together, but not even in his wildest dreams had he imagined
anything like what he had experienced with her this morning.
He said he was taking her, claiming her, that she belonged to him and
he belonged to her. But he hadn't anticipated how completely he had
been taken by the feeling of her, the feeling of belonging to her. He
knew it would take her a while to get used to the idea of trusting him, of
being a part of the unit they were building now, but he was certain he
would get her there. There was no doubt in his mind that the two of
them together made sense, that together they could conquer whatever
life threw their way. And he knew that deep down Rainey knew this
too. He had watched it happen, had watched it wash over her face and
settle in her eyes when she felt it, felt him inside of her, in more ways
than the obvious one. He could see her trying to fight it off, and could
see when she couldn't, when she realized she had already let him in
more than she had thought. She didn't understand it, didn't trust it yet,
but he would do anything in his power to keep his promise and show
her she had nothing to fear from him.
That he had her back and always would.
Logan smiled.
His first chance at proving that to her had come faster than he could
have anticipated.
About five minutes after they both came.
Once he had stopped kissing her, had left her body and rolled off of her,
he had felt her still next to him.
"Um...Logan?" He could hear confusion and anxiety in her voice,
making him come alert instantly.
"What is it?"
"Please tell me you used a condom."
He hadn' t. It hadn' t even crossed his mind. A first for him.
His eyes roamed her face. Anxiety, no, panic was written all over her.
She wasn't on birth control. He clenched his teeth, pissed at himself for
putting her in that position.

"I didn't. I'm sorry, Rainey."
She had jumped off the bed in a flash, cursing. "Shit, shit, shit. Shit,
Logan!" "Baby—"
"No. This isn't good. I'm not on the pill. I don't usually do this kind of
thing. Not until—" He was glad to hear she wasn't the kind of girl who
needed to be on the pill in case she ended up in bed with
someone—though he had already known that—but he didn't need to
hear about her being sexually active with whomever came before him.
So he reached for her, grabbed her wrist, and pulled her back on top of
him.
"Calm down."
"Calm down? Logan, I can't be calm about this. What if I'm pregnant?
We...I don't even...Argh! What are we going to do?" "We'll deal with it
if we have to."
"Deal with it...Logan! This is a disaster! If this...If I'm...I
can't."
Logan lips twitched as he watched her try to formulate a full sentence.
She hit his chest when she saw his grin. "This is not fucking funny! "
"No, it isn't. It's also not a big deal." "Not a big deal? Are you crazy?"
"Baby, what are the chances I actually got you pregnant?"
She glared at him. "I don't know."
"When was your last period?"
"I'm not telling you that."
He scowled at her. "Why not?"
"Why not? Maybe because it's none of your business."
"Did I just have my dick inside you and make you come?"
Her glare intensified. "That doesn't mean—"
"Oh yeah, it does."
"You ask all the women you have sex with about their periods?" "No.
The woman I have unprotected sex with, the woman I claimed as mine,
yeah. I do. Absolutely."
Her glare didn't waver. She also didn't answer.

So he prompted her. "When?"
The irritation left her eyes and the panic seeped back it when she
whispered, "Three weeks ago." Well, damn.
"Shit," she whispered under her breath and dropped her head.
Logan kissed the top of her head. "It'll be okay. Like I said, we'll deal
with it if we have to." She said nothing. "Rainey. I told you I've got you
and I meant it. I' m not gonna turn my back on you if you' re pregnant
with my baby. I' m not ever turning my back on you."
"You don't know that," she said in a small voice. She still wasn't
looking at him.
He tightened his arms around her, squeezing her.
"Hey," he called softly. She lifted her head and looked at him. She was
terrified. He lifted his hand and held her hair up on one side of her face.
Then he smiled. He couldn't help himself. The thought of Rainey
carrying his child made him happy. It didn't matter they were new, had
just started. He knew what he wanted. And what he wanted was her. If
she happened to be pregnant, it only meant she would have to accept
being connected to him all the sooner. His smile turned into a grin, a
smirk almost.
She shook her head. "This is too fast, Logan. I don't even know how to
deal with you. If I'm pregnant—"
He touched his mouth to hers. "We'll deal with it."
Then he felt her body freeze again and watched as her eyes went wide.
"You're clean, right?"
He chuckled and kissed her. "Yes, I'm clean. Contrary to your opinion
of me, I don't sleep around."
She raised her eyebrows in disbelief. He chuckled again. "I wasn't a
virgin before you, but I'm not a player. I have to get checked regularly
for boxing, and I haven't been with anyone since my last check-up two
months ago."
"Really."
"Really."
She was quiet for a few moments as she studied me. "Okay. I believe
you."

I rewarded her with a kiss. "Good. Now, let's shower and get some
breakfast. You need coffee."
They'd dealt with a lot of heavy stuff that early in the morning, so
Logan hadn' t hesitated to make sure she got her fix before she
completely lost it. His plan had been to have a talk this morning, but
he'd shocked and pushed her enough for one day. He'd have to wait to
find out about her dad and the reason behind that sadness that never left
the back of her eyes.
His little firecracker.
He smiled again as he realized how far they'd come in the past
twenty-four hours.
"What's funny?" she asked. "Nothing. What's your day look like?"
She thought for a moment. "It's Saturday, so I'm off today, but I
promised Ashley I'd pick her up this morning. I'll take her to the shelter,
then we'll sit down and talk to Taryn. Ashley promised she'd talk to me,
tell me what's going on with her and what happened yesterday, so I
guess I'll be at the shelter for at least half a day. Then I have to check in
with my mom and see how she's doing. And I have to run." Her voice
had turned sad for a moment when she mentioned checking in on her
mom, and he wondered what that was about, but he would let it go for
now. There was only so far she would let him push. "What about you?"
He smiled, pleased she wanted to know about his plans for the day.
"I've got to head to the gym after this. Pete's gonna ream my ass if I'm
late again. Not to mention Jay. He's already been on my case for losing
my head over you."
She frowned. "Jay?"
"My other trainer. He's an even bigger pain in my ass than Pete." "I
bet."
"You wanna come by later? Train at the gym instead of going for a
run?"
"I don't know," she murmured and took another sip of her coffee, her
hand cupping the mug even after she set it back on the table. Like she
needed something to hold on to.
"Would you change your mind if I promise not to push you for

information today?"
"Maybe." She stared at her coffee. "Before yesterday, I hadn't been to a
boxing gym in years. It's just.. .I'm not sure I'm ready..."
He reached across the table and took one of her hands in his. "It's okay,
Rainey. Stop by if you feel like. It would give me a chance to introduce
you to the trainers who are going to volunteer, since I failed to do that
yesterday, but there's no rush. I'll see you tonight if you'd rather go for a
run."
"Tonight?"
"Yeah. I'm taking you out on a date." "Are you now?" Logan smirked.
"Yeah."
"Did it occur to you to maybe ask me if I want to go on a date with
you?"
His smirk turned into a wide grin. "No." Her lips twitched. "You're a
cocky bastard." He raised his eyebrows. "You sayin' you don't want me
to take you on a date?"
She sighed, annoyed. "I want to say 'Yes, that's what I'm saying' but
you wouldn't believe me anyway."
"Because I know it wouldn't be true."
She shook her head and narrowed her eyes on him. "You're
unbelievable. What if I have plans already?"
"You would have mentioned them when you told me about your
day."
"Ugh! "
Logan laughed silently, his shoulders shaking. Then he suggested,
"How about this: I'll come by your house tonight and cook you dinner.
You can ask your mom and Ben to join us." "I don't think I'm ready for
that, Logan."
He frowned. "Me cooking you dinner or your mom and Ben joining
us?"
"My mom and Ben joining us."
His face smoothed out as he smiled again. "All right. You and me.
Dinner at your house. I'll be there at six."

"All right," she sighed on a shake of her head, seemingly resigned.
That's right, baby. It's sinking in. I'm not gonna let you push me
away.

Chapter 13 Rainey
"I THOUGHT AFTER OVER TWO decades in the field I'd
heard it all."
I was staring out the window in Taryn's office, trying to forget the
images attacking my mind, knowing I would never forget the picture
Ashley had painted when she told me about her terrible ordeal. I was
sick to my stomach and my heart was broken for this beautiful girl. But
I was also proud as hell of her for surviving, for escaping the hell she'd
found herself in the day her mother died.
"Shit, I need a drink."
I turned my head away from the window and looked at Taryn.
"I need to call Bobby. She'll take on the case."
She nodded. "I figure she will. I hope she buries him; buries him so
deep he'll never see the light of day again."
I could only nod in complete agreement. "She will. She's the best. And
once she gets her teeth into this one, there'll be no stopping her."
I wasn't kidding.
Bobby was the best at what she did.
She would rip that bastard apart piece by piece and enjoy every second
of it.
"Call her. Tell her we'll meet first thing Monday morning. By then,
we'll have a clearer idea of how to proceed." I nodded again.
"Where is she gonna stay for now? Here at the shelter?"
Taryn massaged her temples. "I'm not sure. I want her to feel safe. I
don't think it's a good idea to send her somewhere she doesn't know
anyone. She just started to trust us. I don't want to betray that trust by
sending her away. But you know how my hands are tied. I have to
follow

protocol."
"I know," I agreed as I shook my head in frustration. I felt responsible
for Ashley, had to do my best to protect her.
"Let me make some calls, see if I can find an emergency foster home
that will take her tonight."
A knock sounded at the door and Jesse stuck his head in when the door
opened.
Here was another kid I was proud as hell of. He'd been supportive and
gentle yet pushy enough for Ashley to know she could rely on him. I
swear to god, no seventeen-year-old male teenager should be able to be
so empathetic and intuitive, yet firm enough to make a broken girl like
Ashley trust him. Then again, Jesse had been through hell himself and
had done everything in his power to protect his sister from that same
hell. I shouldn't be surprised at how he was handling Ashley.
"Can I talk to you for a minute?"
"Sure, Jesse. Come on in."
He took a seat beside me across from Taryn.
"What's on your mind?" Taryn asked.
"I know how this works. You're trying to figure out what to do, where
to send Ashley."
Taryn's eyes came to me then went back to Jesse. "Yes, we're working
on finding the safest and best possible place for Ashley to stay."
"Can I make a suggestion?"
"Go ahead."
"I want her to stay with us. I've already talked to Lucy. We've got a
room since Lucas started college last month."
I raised her eyebrows at him. "I was under the impression Lucy didn' t
want to take on any new cases. She wants to retire from fostering." I
had just talked to Lucy less than a month ago, knowing Lucas had gone
off to college.
"I know. But when I explained to her about Ashley, she said she'd get
the room ready."
I frowned at him. "When did you talk to her?"
"Half an hour ago. When I saw the look on your face after you talked to
Ashley."

I studied him.
"I don't know what exactly happened, but you both know I've been
there. I know the look. And I know what it feels like." Jesse's face was
serious, as was his whole posture.
Serious and determined.
I nodded.
He was right.
Once you encountered the monsters, you recognized the signs, no
matter how hard you tried to move past them.
I reached for his hand and gave it a squeeze. "I'm extremely proud of
you, do you know that?"
He gave me a chin lift then moved his eyes to Taryn, waiting for her
verdict.
"If Lucy wants her, I don't see any reason why Ashley shouldn't stay
with her. I'll make the calls and drive her down myself."
Jesse nodded, and I noticed his body relax. He'd been worried about
this, about Ashley being sent somewhere he couldn't get to easily. God,
he was a good kid.
"Thank you." He started to get up but stopped when Taryn said, "And
Jesse, I can only agree with Rainey. I'm extremely proud of you. We all
are. I know you'll take good care of Ashley."
Taryn received the same chin lift he had given me. I bit my lip so as not
to flat out smile.
When the door closed behind him, I couldn't hold back the smile any
longer. "I love that kid."
"He's quite something, isn't he?" Taryn agreed with me. "Lucy would
have been my first choice for Ashley. She's got experience with cases
like this; soft and gentle enough to not scare her away, yet tough
enough to not let her descend into a dark place."
"Jesse just saved us a lot of worry. And I like that he'll be living under
the same roof as her. You should have seen him with her last night and
this morning. The way he handles her is just. She trusts him. After
weeks of watching her not even make eye contact with any males, it's
good to know she's opening up to him. He's a great friend to have."
"Oh, he'll be more than just her friend. That boy has set his eyes on

her."
I smiled. "Oh, I know. I've never seen a seventeen-year-old boy be that
protective and possessive of a girl before. I think he's channelling
Cole."
"Cole and someone else I know," Taryn murmured. "Speaking of
which, how is that coming along? I heard rumours flying Logan was
here last night for movie and pizza."
I leaned back in my chair and crossed my arms over my chest. Then I
made the uncharacteristic decision to share. "I fell asleep in his truck on
our way back from the hospital. He carried me to bed without me
waking up and spent the night. Then this morning, he told me I was his
and he was mine. We had sex, and I might be pregnant. Tonight, he's
coming over to cook me dinner. Oh, and he's met my mom and Ben.
They both love him."
Taryn stared at me in shocked silence for a few moments. Then she
burst out laughing. "Holy shit! All that happened in the last twenty-four
hours? That man doesn't let grass grow, does he?"
"Not even a little bit," I said on a shake of my head.
"How do you feel about all of that?"
I shrugged. "Honestly, I' m not sure. He scares the snot out of me, but
for whatever insane reason, he gets to me. It's like he's got me figured
out, like he's in my brain and knows just what to say to shut me down
before I even start. I have no clue what to do with him."
Taryn's shoulders shook with silent laughter. "Oh, how the mighty are
falling. First Lizzy, now you."
I had no reply to that.
As if he knew we were talking about him, my phone rang and showed
his name on the screen. I gave Taryn a look and said, "See? He's
psychic or something," before I answered the call.
"Hey."
"Hey. How did things with Ashley go?" He was doing it again. Just like
he had done yesterday, he was checking in to see if I was okay, at the
same time checking in to see how Ashley was doing, showing me yet
another way of how he was getting to me.
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. "It was tough, real tough.

Tougher than anything I've ever heard or had to deal with. She's been
through hell, and it'll be a while before she'll be all right. But the good
news is she's in a safe place now and we'll make sure she stays that
way."
"That's good, honey. How's Jesse doing after last night? He hasn't come
down to the gym today."
"He's still here, won't let Ashley out of his sight. His foster parent is the
one who's taking her in, actually, so I doubt he'll show up at the gym at
all today."
"That's good. He'll take good care of her."
"That's exactly what Taryn and I said."
"He's a good kid."
"Yeah."
I didn't know what else to say. I'd never done anything like this before.
Any other relationship I'd been in had been the opposite of committed
and serious. I'd never let it get too personal and intimate before I looked
for a way out.
I heard a low chuckle after a few more moments of silence.
Then he asked, "You like pasta?"
"Pasta?" What a random question.
"Yeah. Pasta. You know, spaghetti, penne, stuff like that."
"Very funny. I know what pasta is."
"So you like it?" "I do. Why?"
"'Cause that's what I'm cooking for us tonight." Oh. Wow.
"I like pasta," I couldn't help but whisper in a soft voice, overwhelmed
by the feelings he was causing by something so simple as telling me
what he'd be cooking for us tonight. Something I'd never experienced
in a relationship before either.
"Good. You have any white wine at home?"
I shook my head. "I have beer."
Another low chuckle. "Normally, I'd prefer beer, too, but with this dish,
white wine will taste better. I'll bring a bottle." "Okay." My voice was
still soft. "All right, baby. I'll see you tonight."

"Right."
He hung up and I did the same.
Then I looked up at Taryn and said, "I'm in trouble."
She burst out laughing yet again.
w w w
I was running late.
After I left Taryn to get started on the necessary phone calls to make the
arrangements needed, I went to my office to call Bobby. That phone
call turned into a conference call with Lizzy, which then turned into a
strategy meeting that lasted for over an hour.
Of course, the last twenty minutes of that call were spent talking about
the warp speed of the Logan development, which turned into me
spilling my beans to Bobby about my father when she hadn't stopped
berating me about my—what she called—stupid dating rule.
"Rainey, we all have things in the past that have shaped us. We carry
them around with us day in and day out, let them rule us, let them fuck
up our lives. I get what your father did hurt you deeply, but don't you
think it's time to let that go? Look at Lizzy; heck, look at Ashley, would
you want her to mentally stay in the place she's in right now, or do you
want her to overcome that and be happy? Isn't that what we are so
passionate about? To help abused and neglected kids overcome their
trials and tribulations and move past them? Give life a chance? Learn to
trust and believe in themselves?"
Shit.
Of course it was. It's why I had become a social worker, why I was so
passionate about helping every kid who came through our doors.
"I get you, Bobby, I do. But it's always easier when you're on the
outside looking in. It's easy to put things into perspective when they
don' t directly affect you."
"Then let me put this into perspective for you. Has your father hit you?
Touched you? Hurt you in any way physically?"
I closed my eyes. I knew where she was going with this. And I

hated the fact she was right. "No."
"Has he hurt your mom, beat her, raped her, anything?" "No."
"No. The only thing he did was fail to cope with a situation in life he
didn't expect and looked for an escape. That escape was alcohol and
anger. Which left your mom and you in the dust. Now, I'm not saying
you should forgive him. And I'm not saying what he did didn't hurt you
deeply and broke your faith in all things men. On top of that, being a
social worker certainly hasn't helped rebuild that faith in any way. Let's
face it, a lot of men are scumbags and worse, but there are also a lot of
men out there who aren't. What I am saying is, you need to let your hurt
go enough so it doesn't impact your life negatively now. You need to
move on, take chances, live your life."
"Shit, Bobby," came from Lizzy, who had been silent through Bobby's
lecture.
Bobby sighed. "I don't mean to be harsh, Rainey, but I've known you
for a while now, and I call you my friend, one of my closest friends,
actually. I don't like seeing you living under that cloud. All I'm saying
is, as your friend, I want you to know I'm cheering for Logan on this
one."
"Me too," Lizzy chimed in.
"Shit." I took in what they were saying, mulled it over in my head.
Bobby was right; I knew she would be before she had even started.
After that, I'd called my mom. She and Ben were having a late lunch I
joined them for, at a small Italian restaurant that saw mostly locals.
Their sandwiches were to die for. My favorite—called The Stacker
since it was filled with the goodness of Italian meats plus roasted
peppers and some delicious and fancy cheese I could never remember
the name of—was already sitting on the table when I got there. I
grinned at both of them.
"Thank you. I'm starving."
"I swear with the amount of food you're always packing away, you
should be a man."
I'd heard this from my mom many times throughout my life. She
always pretended to be annoyed with my eating habits and the fact I

never had to diet to keep my figure, whereas she apparently had to
watch every morsel she consumed. Which was bullshit. I'd never seen
my mom diet a day in her life. We both liked our food, though I
probably did a little more than her. I wasn't skinny, but I was fit; had the
right curves in just the right places. I couldn't complain.
"It's the running. Maybe you should come with me every once in a
while to get rid of the extra five pounds you've been carrying around
for over a decade and have sworn up and down repeatedly to get rid of,"
I mock-challenged her. She knew I was just giving her stick. It was a
running gag between us. There were no extra five pounds she had to
lose. And even if there were, she wouldn't have to lose them. Women
are supposed to have curves, not look like ten-year-old, preadolescent
boys.
"Shut up," she said through a smile. My grin grew bigger. Then I took a
huge bite out of my sandwich.
"You look like you've had a busy day. I thought you were off
today."
I chewed then swallowed before I answered Ben. "I am. But something
happened last night during my shift I had to deal with today. I just now
finished talking to Taryn and then Bobby and Lizzy."
"Must be bad if you're calling Bobby in." My mom's eyes were
concerned. She was proud of what I did, but also worried about me.
She'd sat through many a night with me after I came home and needed a
bucketful of ice cream or some hard liquor.
"It is. But we've got it under control. She's safe now." My mom nodded.
I took another bite when Ben remarked, "I noticed a certain truck on the
curb this morning. Early this morning." My mom tried to hide her
smile. Ben didn't. He was flat out smirking at me.
I rolled my eyes. Then, knowing they'd figure out what was going on
anyway and also wanting to share with them, I told them what had
happened not only in the last twenty-four hours, but how Logan had
pursued me for the past month. Then I told them about the wisdom
Bobby shared with me. I had expected them to be amused and a little
smug, but they weren't either. Instead, both their eyes were serious on
me, assessing and knowing.

"She's right, you know," came from my mom.
I nodded. "I know. I know that in my head; it's my heart that's having a
hard time catching up."
"He's a good man. Judging by the way he came at me yesterday
morning, he's already a goner for you."
I bit my lip and stared at my plate. "He kinda shared with me this
morning that he is."
"He's what?" Mom asked.
"A goner for me," I whispered.
She gave me big eyes, then burst out laughing. Ben didn't join in but
kept his eyes on me. "Princess, look at me." I did, still biting my lip
when he laid it out for me. "A man doesn't chase a woman he wants
nothing but sex from. Especially not for over a month." I cringed at the
mention of sex coming from his mouth. He ignored me and kept
talking. "A man only chases after a woman if he sees something he
wants, something he knows he needs. Not just for a fling. For life. I
know, because I'm a man who has done it. It took me a lot longer than a
year to get what I wanted," he squeezed my mom's shoulder, "but once
we know, we know. And we don't give up until our chase is
successful."
"What if that's all it is? What if it's just the thrill of the chase and
nothing more?"
He shook his head and leaned closer to me across the table. "It isn't."
"How do you know?"
"When did he tell you he was a goner for you?" "This morning."
"Before or after?" I scrunched my eyes in confusion. Then I realized
what he was asking and murmured, "After."
He leaned back against the booth. "There you go."
"That's it? That's how you know he's serious?"
"Yup. I also know because he was ready to rip my head off when he
thought you had spent the night with me. And when he did that, you
two hadn' t been together yet. Yet he still considered you his."
"Rainey," Mom called my name. I moved my eyes to her. "You should
talk to him."

"About what?"
"About your father."
I shook my head. "Why?"
"So he can prove to you he isn't like him. If he doesn't know the demons
he's fighting, you're not giving him a fair chance."
My eyes dropped to my plate. What she said made sense. But sharing
would make me even more vulnerable than I already was. Telling
Bobby was one thing, telling the person who I knew could potentially
rip my heart out was another. It would expose me. I wasn't sure if I was
ready for that. Actually, I knew I wasn't. But I also knew that after what
happened this morning, I had let Logan in deeper already than anyone
had ever been before.
"Rainey," Mom called again. My eyes went back to her. "You like
Ben?"
What? I looked from her to Ben then back again. "You know I do," I
said, confused. Where was she going with this? "You like me with
him?" "Of course," I answered immediately.
"You're glad I let him in after your father? That I'm not alone, closed
off to the chance of letting myself be happy again?" The light bulbs
went off in my head, and I sat up straight, staring at both of them.
Shit. Here we go again. Someone else laying their wisdom on me.
Neither of them said anything as they stared back at me, letting me
work through it in my head.
Then I whispered, "How did you do it?"
She covered my hand with hers on the table. "It wasn't easy and it took
time until I trusted him fully. But I knew that if I didn't open my heart
again, I would be lonely and die an old spinster. I didn't want that, not
for me and not for you. I needed to be a good example for you, so I took
the plunge and told him what he'd be fighting against, letting him
decide if he wanted to take that on. He did and proved to me he was in it
to win. He proved it every day. Still does."
"I don't know if I can do that."
"Tell him. Let him decide like I did Ben. If he doesn't fight for you, if
you're not what he wants, you'll know."

I swallowed and nodded my head. "Okay," I breathed.
"He'll take you on, Princess. The way I see it, he'll take on anything and
anyone who dares to put themselves between you two. Even you."
"You think?" "I know."
Now I was in my car on my way home and I was running late. I'd
stopped at Lucy's to check in on Ashley and make sure she was doing
all right. She was okay, considering the circumstances, and seemed to
like Lucy. I was positive she'd settle in quickly. I'd texted Logan to let
him now I was running about twenty minutes behind. He'd texted me
back, saying not to worry and to drive safe.
I turned into my street and found a parking spot only two houses down.
When I walked up to my house, I noticed Logan's truck right up front,
but didn't see Logan in it, nor was he waiting on my front porch. I
unlocked the door and heard music playing when I pushed it open, as
well as cooking noises in my kitchen. The smell that welcomed me was
delicious and made my mouth water. I dropped my bag and went to the
kitchen. Logan was standing by the stove, about to drop the pasta into
the boiling water.
"How did you get in?"
He turned and smiled at me. "Your mom let me in." Ah. "You're not
mad she did, are you?"
I shook my head. "No. I'm not mad." And I wasn't. Just like I hadn' t
been mad yesterday morning when he had rummaged through my
cabinets to find my travel mugs, I wasn't mad now.
"Good." He turned and dropped the spaghetti into the water, then
walked to where I was standing in the doorway and planted a kiss on
my mouth before he took me in his arms. "How was your day?
Everything good with Ashley?"
I stared up at him.
I liked this, really liked it, coming home and finding him in my kitchen,
cooking dinner for the two of us. I liked it so much, I knew I had to
follow my mom' s advice, and do it quickly, before I was in too deep
and he would completely destroy me when he left.

"I need to talk to you," I rushed out before I could change my
mind.
He frowned down at me but kept his arms around me. "What
happened? Did that asshole come back and—" I shook my head,
stopping him. "No, not about that. Ashley's fine. Everything is fine." I
watched as the anger disappeared from his face, though his body didn't
relax completely.
"Then what is it?" His eyes were wary as he waited for me to continue.
I closed mine and spat it out quickly, like ripping off a Band-Aid. "I
need to tell you about my father. I need to tell you what he did that
created my need for my dating rule."
His body had tensed again. He leaned back and tipped my chin up with
his finger. I opened my eyes and looked into his. They were welcoming
and understanding, and surprised, and a little angry as well. "Not that
I'm complaining. I want to know what he did that made you so guarded.
I need to know. But what brought this on? I usually have to dig for you
to tell me anything about yourself."
"I talked to my mom." My voice was small and timid. I cleared my
throat and added, "And to Ben. And Bobby and Lizzy," in a stronger
voice.
His lips twitched. "You've had a busy day." "You could say that." He
waited. I sighed.
Then I took a deep breath of fortification and laid it out for him. "I' m
going to tell you so you can decide if you meant what you said this
morning or if I'm too much trouble."
The welcome and understanding went out of his eyes, while the anger
intensified. "Nothing you tell me will change my mind, Rainey." His
voice was firm and a little annoyed.
"You don't know that."
"I do." He gave me a squeeze, underlining his determination. "Is what
you're gonna tell me gonna change the person you are?" I shook my
head no.

"Is it gonna make you less compassionate, less caring, less loyal?" I
shook my head no again.
"Then it's not gonna change the way I feel about you. Rainey, I knew
you were guarded before I took you on. I knew I'd have to fight my way
in there. You don't know this about me yet, but I'm not someone who
gives up. I fight for what I want, even if the something I have to fight is
the same thing I'm fighting for." That sounded almost exactly like what
Ben had said. He leaned in closer to me so that all I could see were his
eyes. "I want to know everything there is to know about you, because I
want to know you. Just like I want to tell you everything about me there
is to know, because I want you to know me. It' s part of what I meant
this morning when I said you were mine and I was yours. So, yes, tell
me about your father. And anything else you want to tell me. But do it
knowing it won't change my mind. Or my
heart."
His eyes were so sincere, I had no choice but to believe he meant every
word he said. So I told him about my father while he finished cooking
dinner and we sat down to eat. I told him everything. From how we had
been thick as thieves when I was a kid, to how I'd started training with
him, to that fateful night and everything that happened after. I didn't
leave anything out.
We were on our second glass of wine and our plates were empty by the
time I came to the hardest part.
"I will never forget the day those papers came in the mail." I emptied
my glass then watched as Logan refilled it. "My mom and I had just
moved out of the apartment we had stayed in after we left a few months
earlier and moved into this house. He didn't just send the divorce
papers. He..." I took another big gulp of wine to give me a chance to
swallow the lump in my throat. "He surrendered his rights as my father.
He.. .he wanted nothing to do with me. He gave me up. Didn't even
want me to have his name. I...I didn't understand why he would do that,
what I had done to make him throw me away like I wasn't even his
daughter. I still don't." My voice was nothing more than a whisper now
as the memory of that pain and feeling of loss overwhelmed me. The
tears that had collected in my eyes threatened to spill over. I watched
through the

blur as Logan got up, pulled me up with him, then led us both to the
couch in the living room, and sat down with me in his lap. He brushed
my hair out of my face with soft fingers before he cupped my face with
both hands and kissed my lips.
"I' m sorry, baby," he whispered against them when he was done, then
kissed me again, with his lips closed, just a gentle touch. I kissed him
back just as softly and leaned against him. He touched his forehead to
mine and said, "I can only imagine what that felt like. And I understand
why that made you guard yourself against letting anyone in. You were
trying to protect yourself. But, baby, why do you think telling me
would change how I feel about you?"
I held his eyes as I let my fear show. "He's my father. If he can't love
me. There must be something wrong with me if my own father can't—"
His hands tightened on my face, interrupting me.
"There is nothing wrong with you. What he did is on him and no one
else. He's a fool to have thrown you away like that, for turning his back
on someone so precious as you and your mother."
"But—"
"No, Rainey. It is not your fault he couldn't cope with losing a fucking
fight and losing the only thing important in life. It's not yours and it's
not your mom's. It's his. His alone. Do you understand?"

" I . "

"I know what it feels like when you think your father doesn't give a shit
about you, baby, but you can't take that on. You can't take
responsibility for someone else's choices in life."
"Your father doesn't give a shit about you?"
"He cheated on my mom when I was ten. She kicked him out and raised
me on her own. I was disappointed and hurt he ripped our family apart.
I hated him. I didn't understand how he could throw away something so
good, something so important. When my mom wouldn't forgive him,
he turned into an even bigger asshole. Never paid child support, treated
my mom like shit. I felt helpless. All I could do was watch as he tore
her down again and again. He wouldn't leave her alone for the longest
time, would show up and yell at her, call her names. And I could do
nothing. It made me so mad. God, I was so mad all the time. I

got into trouble, fought a lot. If Pete hadn't found me and helped me
channel my anger, I don't know where I'd be today. So I know. I know
what it feels like to be let down by a parent, by someone who is
supposed to love you unconditionally. But Rainey, it wasn't my fault he
treated us the way he did. It wasn't my mother's fault he cheated on her.
And it wasn't your fault your father abandoned you and your mom." I
nodded.
"And hear me, baby. Knowing what I know, having been on the
receiving end of being left behind, do you think I would ever do
anything like that to you? Do you think I don't know how precious what
I have in my hands is?" He brushed his thumbs across my cheekbones,
making it clear he was talking about me, driving home his point. "Do
you think it would even cross my mind to ever let you go?"
The tears that were still blurring my vision spilled over and ran down
my cheeks. He caught them and kissed the tip of my nose. "I'm not your
dad. I'm not stupid. I know what I've got and I won't throw it away. Not
over your fear, not over fame, not over anything. And you know why?"
"Why?" I whispered.
"Because no matter what happens, no matter who or what tries to come
between us, I won't let anything happen to this." He gave my head a
gentle shake. "Because, baby, you are worth fighting for."
The tears were running faster now.
That's what I'd been afraid of since my father left us: that I wasn't worth
it. I was his daughter until he legally made me not be that. If my own
father couldn't love me enough, if he threw me away without looking
back, then what did that say about me? That I wasn't worth loving.
"You are worth it, Rainey. Don't you ever forget that." His voice was
firm, and his eyes were burning into mine, trying to make me
understand.
"Okay," I whispered through my tears.
"You believe I won't leave you, won't throw you away?"
"Yes." I was still whispering.
"Good." He looked proud. "Then kiss me."

I didn't hesitate. I leaned in and took his mouth in a deep and
meaningful kiss, hoping I could convey how grateful I was for his
words, how much I had needed to hear them. That kiss led to something
more when Logan took over, something wild, something passionate,
something full of meaning.
And my heart finally caught up with my head.

Chapter 14 Rainey
WHEN I OPENED MY EYES the next morning, my limbs were
tangled with Logan's. We were facing each other, our arms around each
other, my one leg up on his hip, his knee cocked and in between my
thighs. Our bodies were touching from chest to legs, while my head
was resting in the crook of his neck. We were both naked.
"Good morning." He must have felt me come awake.
I pulled my face out of his neck and tipped my head back enough so I
could look at him. "Good morning." My voice was hoarse from sleep.
"How're you feeling?"
I thought for a second, assessing the state of my body.
Things had gotten a little out of hand last night. After round one on the
couch, Logan had carried me to the shower, where round two had
happened with my back up against the wall and his hands gripping my
ass while he pounded into me. Then he had taken me to bed, where he
commenced with round number three as he slowly made love to me.
I felt utterly sated, if a little sore and exhausted.
"I'm great."
He kissed the tip of my nose. "Me too." "That's good."
This was another new one for me. I had never woken up with anyone
like this, tangled up, whispering to each other. I liked it. And even
though it was a new and intimate experience for me, I didn't panic or
feel uncomfortable or insecure. I felt surprisingly relaxed and at ease,
something I couldn't remember ever feeling.
"Can I ask you something?"
"Of course."

"It's about your father and boxing."
I stiffened for a moment, but then relaxed. Logan and I were starting
something, something important. I couldn't hold back and expect things
to work between us. So I said, "Go ahead."
He kissed me on the mouth this time. It felt like reward. "You said last
night you stopped boxing after what happened with your father. How
long ago was that?"
"Ten years."
His eyes went wide in what looked like disbelief. "You're saying you
haven't boxed or trained in ten years?"
I nodded, confused as to where he was going with this. "You're shitting
me."
I shook my head and scrunched my eyebrows, now even more
perplexed and a little annoyed.
"Baby, what I saw you do to that bag doesn't tell me you haven't hit in a
decade."
Ah. That' s what he was getting at.
I' d been good. Trained by some of the best trainers in the business. And
I'd been passionate about it, so passionate I'd been the best in my
league. And that included the boys in my age group and weight class.
I shrugged.
He smiled. "Fuck me. You're more of a firecracker than I thought you'd
be. And that's saying something." His smile turned into a smirk. "And I
don't just mean the boxing." He wagged his eyebrows at me
suggestively, making me smile and shake my head at him.
"Stop it." I hit his chest. He kissed the tip of my nose again. He seemed
to really like doing that.
"So you were what, thirteen, fourteen when you stopped?"
"Fourteen."
"And you started when you were six?" "Yeah."
"So you trained for eight years and haven't gone near anything to do
with boxing for ten. "
"Yeah," I repeated, confirming his math, yet unsure why it was
important or why he kept talking about it.

"You realize where you could be right now if you'd never stopped?"
I shrugged again. "I wanted to be just like him. I loved it, spent every
free minute at the gym, watched him train every day and listened to
every single piece of advice he gave me."
"And he took that away when he left you."
My body locked at that reminder. This time I was unable to relax again.
"Yes," I whispered, my voice slightly breaking.
Logan' s hand started wandering up and down my back, soothing me,
urging me to be at ease and somewhat succeeding. "You think that's
something you'd like to have back?"
I shook my head. "I don't know, Logan. I think that ship has sailed. And
I love what I do now."
"That's not what I mean, though after what I saw yesterday, I'm not sure
you're right. I mean, what would you think of getting back into it? As a
hobby. Maybe as my training partner from time to time. "
I shook my head once more, unsure. I didn't know if that was
something I wanted. I had left all things boxing behind, had never
thought it would be something I'd be interested in ever again. Though
now that I was with Logan, I wouldn't have a choice but to get involved
at least enough to support him. But I wasn't sure I wanted to take it as
far as actually being part of his training. "I'm not sure."
"Think about it. It's nothing you have to decide now or anytime soon.
Though I'd love for you to come with me today."
I scrunched up my face. "Today? You're training today? It's Sunday.
Sundays are supposed to be lazy days, when you stay in your pajamas
until noon and lounge on the couch all day."
Logan chuckled and gave me a quick kiss. "I'm in training, baby. I don't
get any days off until after the fight."
I felt myself stiffen yet again. "What fight?"
His hand stopped roaming my back and he squeezed me. "I'm in
training for a championship fight. It's in three months."
Now, my body froze and my lungs stopped working. A championship
fight? "What?" I breathed. The reassurance and promises he had made
yesterday flew out of my head as fear and insecurity

weaseled their way back in and took the lead. "Rainey, it's okay. Look
at me."
I hadn' t realized I had closed my eyes. I opened them and stared at
Logan, though my head was busy trying to devise an exit strategy. I
couldn't deal with this. Not yet.
"Don't shut me out, Rainey. Look at me."
"I am."
"You're not. You're miles away. I need you to look into my eyes and
see me."
I blinked and tried to focus on him. When I did, all I saw was love and
determination. And understanding.
"Remember what I said yesterday. Nothing will make me leave you,
Rainey. Nothing."
"Okay."
He shook his head, knowing I didn't mean it. "Nothing, baby. Not
losing this fight. Not winning it. Not a damn thing."
I studied him, once more finding nothing but the truth in his eyes, just
like last night. I took a deep breath and exhaled, then I relaxed into his
arms, feeling his body relax in response.
"You promise?"
"I promise." He kissed my forehead, where he said, "I want you to
come with me today. We're fighting this fear of yours head-on.
Together. Until you know deep down in your soul I mean every word I
say to you. Until there's no doubt left. You're a part of me now, a part of
my life. The most important part of my life. That means you'll be part
of that side of my life as well. And I want you to be comfortable there."
"I think I can deal with going to the gym. No, I know I can. It didn' t hit
me as hard as I thought it would. It felt kinda nice, actually. Like
coming home."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah. But Logan, I don't think I can deal with a huge fight like a
championship fight. Maybe if I were eased into it, you know, at smaller
fights. But something like that...I don't know. That fight I told you
about, it was the only real fight I've ever been to, or seen even. My
mom thought it was too brutal for me to watch, that I was too young.
My own

fights were in the junior league. Things don't get as brutal there, not
even close. I don't think I can—"
"I do. You know why?"
"Why?"
"Because it doesn't matter what happens, if I win the title or if I don't.
At the end of the day, we'll go home together. You and me."
That was a nice thing to say. Still, I wasn't sure if I was ready. "Can you
give me some time to think about it?"
"You have three months to get used to the idea."
I glared at him. "Has anyone ever told you you're a pushy
bastard?"
"Only when it comes to you. I'm actually a pretty laid-back guy." "Sure
you are." He chuckled.
What was it with men and their chuckling?
I tried to roll away from him. I was done with this subject and needed
coffee. But Logan rolled with me until he was on top of me, effectively
trapping me. His whole body was now shaking with his amusement.
"This is not fucking funny, Logan."
"It is to me."
"And why is that?"
"Because you flexing your claws tells me I'll eventually win." He tried
to kiss me, but I turned my head away. He kissed my neck instead,
giving me goose bumps against my will.
"How so?"
He moved his head out of my neck and gave me his eyes. The
amusement was gone; seriousness had replaced it. "I get you're scared.
But deep down you already know history won't repeat itself, baby. If
you didn't, there'd be no way you would have let me in."
I glared at him. It was all I could do. Because he was right. If I were
convinced there'd even be the slightest chance he'd break my heart,
there would have been no way for him to find a way through my guard.
I wasn't scared of that. Not really. I wasn't really sure what I was
worried about anymore. My fears seemed somewhat silly now. What
else did I

need him to say? And what more wisdom did I need to open my eyes to
the fact I had let my father's actions define my choices in life?
"See? I'm right."
"You're a jerk."
"I'm a jerk who's right. And I'm a jerk who's about to take you again."
"You're no—" He kissed me silent. I swear I tried to fight it, but I just
couldn't. I knew he was right and fighting it just to fight it would make
me look ridiculous. I might be stubborn, but ridiculous I was not. So I
gave in and kissed him back. Then I gave in more and let him take me
for the fourth time in less than twelve hours.
Logan
Watching Rainey in her element made it hard for Logan to control his
urge to take her right in this ring. The small, smug smile on her face
made it even harder to control his dick.
She was good.
Really good.
He had already known that from watching her hit that bag with an
almost flawless technique, but seeing her in the ring now, watching her
move, made him realize she was even better than he had imagined.
Upon arrival at the gym, the guys had been ribbing him about bringing
his girlfriend to work, the ones who hadn't seen her two days ago, that
is. But she had shut them up pretty quickly, first with her hot-as-hell
attitude and her quick tongue that had made him smile proudly at her,
now with her expertise in the ring.
She was sparring with Jesse.
Light sparring.
And she was holding her own.
Better, she was making it hard for him to land a single punch, while he
was busy defending and protecting himself from hers. Logan smirked
as she landed another blow to Jesse's side, making him wince.
"Shit," he heard mumbled from his right. He glanced over and

noticed Matt standing next to him.
Matt was another kid from the shelter. He was sixteen and one cocky
bastard. He had called dibs after Jesse, doing this loudly and
arrogantly, but Logan could tell he was regretting his big mouth now.
"Getting cold feet?" he teased him, his eyebrows rising in challenge.
Matt shook his head, his eyes staying on the action in the ring. "I knew
she was the shit, but this is something else." There was trepidation as
well as adoration in his voice.
Logan chuckled, in complete agreement with the kid.
"Can't back down now. The boys will have your balls. You'll never live
that one down."
Matt shook his head but didn't answer.
Logan chuckled once more and pinned his eyes back to his woman. His
woman. He grinned.
In the end, it hadn't taken him as long as he'd thought it would to break
down her walls. Less than three days, to be exact.
She had opened up to him, had opened up about her fears, had let him
in. Now she was truly his. Pride flowed through him at that thought.
He'd give it some time, not much, but a few weeks until he'd mention
moving in together, a month tops. By the time he had to fight for the
championship, he wanted them living together, settled, wanted her to
know down to her bones they were a unit. With the schedule he 'd be
keeping closer to the fight, they wouldn't see each other much unless
they lived together; or unless she gave in and decided to be his
sometimes-training partner. Though he wouldn't be able to spar with
her; no way would he be able to try and land a hit anywhere on her
body. But aside from that, he was looking forward to have her next to
him at the
gym.
He'd been hesitant and a little nervous when Jesse had asked her to be
his sparring partner. Logan had been in the ring with his own partner,
Sam, and she had been watching after they had warmed up and hit the
bags together.
She had shrugged and said, "Why not?" As if only a few days ago

the thought of even being in a boxing gym hadn't caused her to panic.
He'd been hesitant but also proud. Proud of her for seemingly feeling at
home here, for taking it in stride. But he hadn't expected her to jump at
the chance of hitting the ring.
He'd looked over and had seen a gleam in her eye, an excitement he
hadn' t expected after her initial resistance this morning when he had
mentioned getting back into boxing. He wanted her to be excited, had
hoped she would overcome her fears quickly, so he couldn't deny her
this, even though he had not been looking forward to watch her getting
hit. He knew he'd want to step in and pummel whoever tried to lay a
hand on her, which was ridiculous, of course. They were at a boxing
gym and he'd asked her to join him, so what had he expected? He hadn't
thought that one through before he'd opened his mouth. Shaking his
head at himself, he couldn't help but give Jesse a warning of "Take it
easy," earning himself a glare from Rainey.
"Why? Because I'm a girl?"
"No, because you're my girl."
Her glare had intensified. "That can be remedied."
Her glare had transferred to Jesse, who had laughed at our own kind of
sparring. "I'm not sure what you think is funny."
He had immediately stopped, but the amusement had remained in his
eyes.
"You're on. Let's go," she had said then turned and walked to the next
free ring, directly next to mine. Logan had given Sam a chin lift. "Give
me a minute," and had stood leaning against the ropes, watching his girl
in action.
His fears had been unwarranted. Instead of trying to hold himself back
from jumping into the ring and defending her, he found himself
watching her with nothing but awe and pride. And a whole lot of desire
and need.
"Fuck, Rainey. Do you not know what light sparring means?" That was
Jesse, rubbing the side of his head with a gloved hand after taking yet
another hit.
"Sorry." She shrugged her shoulders while she bounced on her feet, the
smile still playing around her lips. "I'm out of practice," she said

through a grin.
"Out of practice, my ass," Jesse grumbled, making everyone watching
laugh or chuckle.
She shrugged again. "Shouldn't have pissed me off."
Jesse narrowed his eyes on her. Her sassy grin widened in response.
"Wish I had volunteered at the shelter. Wouldn't mind going a few
rounds with that spitfire, if you catch my drift," Sam said. He was
standing next to Logan at the edge of the ring, his forearms resting on
the ropes. Logan's eyes narrowed on him as jealousy and
possessiveness ignited his anger and he straightened.
"Easy there, tiger," Sam said through a grin. "No reason to get all
territorial on me."
"Make one move and I'll kick your ass," he warned through clenched
teeth.
Sam burst out laughing. "I'm just fucking with you." He glanced back
at Rainey before his eyes came back to him. "There any more wildcats
like her at the shelter you should introduce me to?"
Logan relaxed his stance and shook his head on a grin. "No one's like
her."
"Thought so."
Sam was a good guy, a great guy, actually. They'd known each other
and had trained together for years and had become close friends. Logan
flipped through the women working at the shelter in his mind. "Still,
you might wanna stop by sometime."
Sam lifted his eyebrows. "Yeah?"
"Yeah."
Logan smiled to himself. He'd have to make sure Bobby was there
when Sam showed. It would be fun to watch her bust Sam's balls.
His eyes found Rainey when he heard Pete shout, "All right, Jesse,
that's enough for now! You need to be working on the bag."
Rainey dropped her hands. "That was fun." Her big smile and happy
eyes made Logan's heart melt. He liked seeing her like this. Relaxed
and glowing.
"You," he heard Pete shout and swung his head to look at him.

"Stop ogling your girl and get back to work." Logan smirked at him
before he returned his eyes to Rainey, who was now grinning at him
knowingly. He returned her grin then turned around to follow his
coach's orders and got back to work.
Two hours later, he was standing in Pete's office after taking a quick
shower. Jay had been a no-show again today, and Logan needed to
know what the hell was going on.
"This is the third day in a row, Pete."
Pete sighed and rubbed his face with both hands. "I know, son. He's
going through some things, but he promised to be here tomorrow."
Logan narrowed his eyes. "What things?"
Pete didn't answer directly, but instead said, "Personal things that are
not my business to share." His eyes were hard on Logan, telling him to
let it go. There was something else there that Logan couldn't identify
but which looked a whole lot like sadness and maybe trepidation. Or
was
it fear?
What the hell?
He crossed his arms over his chest. "What's going on, Pete? Is he sick
or something?"
Pete's stare stayed hard and unflinching.
Logan shook his head and sighed, letting it go. For now. "Fine. He'll be
back tomorrow?" Pete nodded.
"All right, old man. I'll see you in the morning." Logan turned to leave
but stopped and turned back around when Pete called his name. "She
tell you who trained her?"
Logan was a little surprised at that question and the curiosity he saw in
Pete's eyes. But then again, Pete had seen her in action two days ago
and again today and knew when someone was skilled. He also saw
himself as Logan's surrogate father, so it would only make sense for
him to be curious.
"Yeah, she did."
"And?" Pete prompted when Logan didn't continue. Logan sighed and
ran a hand through his hair, uncomfortable with sharing Rainey's story
without permission. "Her father trained her. He

used to be a boxer." Pete's eyes went wide in shock. Logan quickly
continued before the old man could ask him any more questions he
wouldn't be able to answer out of respect for Rainey. "That's all I can
give you, man. And please don't ask her about it. It's a touchy subject."
He watched as Pete's thoughtful eyes went over his shoulder and fixed
on something. He turned to see it was Rainey talking to some of the
guys they were fixed on. Logan's own eyes narrowed. He needed to
shut that shit down. He gave Pete a chin lift, got one in return, then
turned to retrieve his woman from the circling wolves.
"Ready?" He grabbed Rainey's hand as soon as she was within reaching
distance and pulled her into his side, placing a kiss against her temple.
He noticed the smirks on the guys' faces but didn't pay them any
attention as he looked into her eyes.
She turned her head and met his gaze. "Sure," she answered before she
turned back to the guys and said, "See you guys later."
"See ya" and "Later" were their responses. Logan could feel their
lingering looks on her ass she didn't notice since they were already
walking toward the front door. But he did, so he looked over his
shoulder to give the men a hard glare. They got the message and went
back to their training, chuckling.
"I'd like to take you to my place tonight," he said when they were in his
truck. He was holding her hand on the console, just like he did every
time they were in his truck since that first time.
"Okay," she said, then added, "I'll have to get my car though. I have to
work tomorrow."
"I can drop you off at work before I have to be at the gym."
She shook her head. "I'll need my car tomorrow. Have to make the
rounds. And anyway, I don't like not having a car there, just in case."
"In case of what?"
She shrugged. "Nothing specific. Things happen. Meetings come up.
Lunch dates. Stuff like that."
He narrowed his eyes on her for a moment before he turned back to
facing the street. "Lunch dates?"
"Yeah. I go on those sometimes." He could hear the smile in her voice
and squeezed her hand, prompting her. She gave a short laugh.

"Like with Bobby and Lizzy. Or I take a couple of the kids sometimes
and treat them to a sandwich. Calm down. I think you've staked your
claim enough for one day, don't you?"
"Right," he said, his lips twitching. She was teasing him and he liked it.
Somewhat. "So we'll stop at your place. You can pack a bag and get
your car then follow me to my house."
"That works."
"Good." That had been easier than he thought. Then again, after the last
two days he felt the change in her, felt the trust she was now giving
him, especially after their talks last night and this morning. It was
almost like once she made up her mind and opened herself up, she was
all in, no reservations, no holding back. He hadn't expected that. But he
was glad and grateful nonetheless.
He pulled up in front of her house, parked, and they both got out and
walked up the stairs.
"Just give me five minutes to pack some stuff."
"Sure." He kissed her gently on the mouth before she went upstairs to
her bedroom. Logan stayed in the living room and looked around. He
liked Rainey's place. It was very her and felt homey. Not like his place.
Not that his apartment was run-down or a total bachelor pad or
anything like that. His mom had decorated the place for him as much as
he'd let her and it was nice enough. But Rainey's house was more. More
comfortable, more lived-in, more everything. It had three bedrooms
upstairs; they were small but did their job. There was one hall
bathroom. No en-suite, but that wasn't strictly necessary. Downstairs,
she had an open living room with a big picture window facing the small
front porch and yard, as well as an eat-in kitchen and a spare room she
had currently set up with a small couch and a couple of book shelves,
her guitar in the corner, and an expensive-looking camera and a bunch
of other photography stuff sitting on one shelf. The way Rainey had
decorated felt warm and was fun at the same time, with the blue-grey
walls and vintage art. The house looked and felt like it was ready for a
family. A smile spread across Logan's face at the thought of a little
Rainey running around the rooms, and his heart missed a beat.
He wanted that.

Fuck yeah, he wanted that.
He knew it was too early, they were just starting out as a couple, but he
wouldn't be disappointed if his little error in judgement from yesterday
morning resulted in a pregnancy.
He dropped his eyes to his shoes and smiled.
Who would have thought?
His mom would be delighted if she knew the direction his thoughts
were taking. He would have to introduce them soon. She would love
Rainey the moment they met. She already liked her just from what he
had been telling her over the past month, had been teasing him and
making fun of him when he'd told her about Rainey giving him the
run-around and making him work for it. At the same time she had
encouraged him to not give up, had told him that she always knew the
girl who would give him the cold shoulder, who would make him put
the effort in and chase her, would be the one to steal his heart. Turned
out she'd been right. But then again, he'd known that almost from the
moment he'd laid eyes on her.
He lifted his head when he heard her footsteps on the stairs.
"Ready."
"All right. Let's go." He took her hand in his. "You wanna get take-out
and eat at my place?"
"Sure."
"What do you want?"
She scrunched up her face in contemplation for a moment before she
said, "I'm in the mood for Mexican. The real stuff though, not fast
food."
He smiled at her. "The real stuff, huh? You a food snob?" She
scrunched her nose. It was cute.
"Maybe a little."
He laughed out loud as he led her out the door and down to the
sidewalk. Their cars were parked behind each other.
"You know about a place that has the real stuff? Wouldn't want you to
have to eat anything fake." His voice was slightly teasing. She stuck his
tongue out at him. He moved in closer, so close their bodies were
touching from chest to hip. Then he kissed her; not just a quick

peck on the lips, but a deep and wet kiss. When he pulled back, her eyes
were closed and she was slightly panting.
"Don't stick your tongue out at me unless you want to use it." His voice
was low and hoarse, holding a promise and a warning at the same time.
She opened her eyes slowly. It took her a few moments to focus on him.
He grinned as he studied her face, proud he could send her into a daze
like that just with a kiss.
He repeated his question. "You know of a place you like?"
She nodded but didn't give him the name of the restaurant. He chuckled
and touched his lips to hers once more, this time for a quick but soft
kiss.
"Baby, I need the name so I know where I'm going."
She cleared her throat then said in a hoarse whisper, "Casa Romero. It's
in the Back Bay area, close to Lizzy's house."
He grinned at her. "I don't know where Lizzy lives, but I'm sure I'll find
it."
"They have the best enchiladas."
"All right then. Casa Romero it is." He gave her a quick and soft
squeeze. "But we'll drop your car at my place and eat at the restaurant.
Take you out on a real date."
Her eyes widened in excitement and happiness. Then she surprised him
when she placed a kiss on his lips this time and murmured there. "That
sounds awesome." Seemed like she really liked those enchiladas. He'd
have to remember that. He chuckled against her lips then opened for
her when she kissed him. When she dropped back to her feet and ended
the kiss, he slapped her ass.
"All right, baby, get in the car and let's go. I'm hungry."
She did as he asked and followed him to his apartment, where she
parked her car in front of his house before she hopped up into his truck
and he took his woman out on their first dinner date.

Chapter 15 Rainey
"LIZZY WILL BE PISSED I came here without her."
Logan lifted his eyebrows in question.
"It's her favorite restaurant," I explained on a shrug.
He smiled at me as we entered. "You come here on your lunch dates?"
He was teasing me.
"Nope. They only do lunch on the weekends. This is usually our first
stop on girls' night out."
"Girls' night out?"
"Yup. Lizzy, Bobby, and I go out every couple of weeks. We drink, we
chat, we laugh. You know," I shrugged, "blowing off some steam and
having a good time."
Logan said nothing, but I could tell he wasn't a big fan of girls' night
out. His jaw was clenched and a muscle jumped in his cheek, but he
said nothing.
Good boy.
"I don't think you'll have to worry about Lizzy being pissed." I could
hear a smile in his voice.
I followed his line of sight and saw Lizzy sitting at a table in the back,
waving her arms at us, a big smile on her face. Cole was sitting next to
her, his face contemplative for a second before it split into a wide grin.
Great.
I could only imagine the teasing and ribbing I could expect from his
ass. On a resigned sigh, I mumbled, "I guess the cat's out of the bag." I
started to make my way to them when Logan held me back by my arm.
"What do you mean?" I could see disappointment as well as some anger
in his eyes. What was that about?

I frowned at him, not understanding.
"Don't get me wrong, I was looking forward to taking my girl out to
dinner for the first time and having her undivided attention, but you not
wanting her to know about us pisses me off."
Ah. Now I understood. "It's not that."
"Then what is it?"
I gave him a small smile and explained. "Lizzy already knows about us.
Remember I told you she gave me some wisdom about you?" He
nodded but didn't say anything, though his body relaxed slightly. I
continued. "She'll be ecstatic about this. I'm just not in the mood for
Cole's teasing and smart comments. He can be a huge pain in the ass."
"That's what you meant by the cat being out of the bag? You were
talking about Cole?"
I nodded.
His body relaxed completely as he smiled down at me. "Since when do
you let other people tease you? Especially men? What happened to my
little firecracker?"
"Oh, don't worry. I've got my own ammunition. I was just looking
forward to enjoying some good food and even better company." I
winked at him, which made him smile.
"I'm sure you won't let him deter you from that."
"I guess that's true." I shrugged.
He gave me a quick kiss then said, "Come on," before he threw an arm
around my waist and walked me to their table.
w w w
I was stuffed so full I thought I might have to loosen my belt and maybe
even pop the top bottom. My plate was empty, as was everyone else's,
and I leaned back, rubbing my stomach and groaning. I felt Logan' s
arm that had been resting behind me on my chair since he had finished
eating ten minutes ago move up to grab my shoulder and pull me into
his side, where he touched his lips to my temple on a chuckle and said,
"I can't believe the amount of food you can eat."

I turned in his arm and leaned back to look up at him. "You calling
me fat?"
His eyes sparkled with amusement. "No."
"She's a pig." This came from Lizzy, a smirk playing on her lips.
"Pfft. As if you're any better."
"Hey!" She pretended to be offended. "I'm eating for two."
"That's right, baby." Cole laid a hand on Lizzy's round stomach and
gave her a gentle pad.
I rolled my eyes. "You're just using that as an excuse. It's not like you
lived on salad before you got pregnant. If I didn't know any better, I'd
swear you've got Chinese ancestors the way you inhale Sweet 'n Sour
Chicken."
A laugh poorly disguised as a cough escaped Cole. Logan chuckled
beside me, while Lizzy glared at her husband. "What? She's right."
"Maybe you should come running with me after the baby is here if
you're so concerned."
She transferred her glare to me. I burst out laughing.
"So, what exactly did you have to do to get Rainey to go out with you?
Sell a kidney? Your soul?"
Great. Here we go.
I prepared to launch into my own friendly insults, but Logan beat me to
it when he said, "Nope," through another chuckle. He pulled me in
tighter but said nothing else.
"Nope? That's all I'm getting?"
Logan gave a small nod. "That's all you're getting."
"I see she's got you by the balls already," Cole said. "Take the advice
from someone who's been there, Logan, don't take her threats seriously.
Whatever she threatens you with, she doesn't really mean it."
"Huh," was what Lizzy had to say about that. I could tell she was
gearing up for something. She had that certain look on her face she got
when she was ready to teach someone a lesson.
I leaned back in my chair and crossed my arms, waiting for the show I
was sure would be hilarious to start. Now Cole had gone and done it
and dug his own grave. My eyes were on Lizzy. I had to say I

was a little shocked she wasn't ripping his head off yet.
"Do we need to duck?" Logan whispered in my ear. I laughed silently
but kept my eyes on my best friend. Cole was looking at her as well,
waiting, while he cocked his eyebrow, daring her. Her head turned and
her eyes came to me.
"Is Logan staying at your place tonight?"
I had a feeling I knew what she was up to, but Cole didn't. He sat back
in his chair, smug, thinking he had won this round when Lizzy changed
the subject. What he failed to understand was she hadn't changed the
subject but was instead setting up her winning blow. And boy, he was
so sure of himself, he would never see it coming.
I shook my head and grinned. "We're staying at his place tonight."
She gave me a quick happy and proud smile before she held her hand
out. I dug into my bag and handed her my keys, then my eyes moved to
Cole. He was watching our interaction, confused, then his eyes went
wide when realization set in.
"What the fuck are you doing? Why do you need Rainey's keys?"
Lizzy directed a level glare at her husband but said nothing. Then she
excused herself. "I gotta use the washroom."
"Lizzy?" Cole got up from his chair and called after her pleadingly but
didn't follow. He sat back down. "She's driving me crazy." He rested
his elbows on the table and ran his fingers through his hair. "Thank
fuck I have the car keys."
As if that would be a deterrent. I chuckled and shook my head at Cole
disbelievingly.
"You must not know your wife very well."
His head snapped up. "I've known her for almost twenty years. I know
everything about her."
"Oh yeah?"
"Yeah."
"All right." I nodded, not about to enlighten him. He would find out
soon enough. "Ready to go?" I asked Logan.
"Sure."
We waited for the check, and Logan and Cole paid. When the waitress
walked away, I saw Cole's eyes on the hallway that led to the

washrooms.
"Do you mind checking on her? She's been in there a while." I shook
my head once more and tried to hold back the grin that was threatening
to split my face in half. "I don't need to." Cole furrowed his brows at
me, annoyed. "She's not in there," I added on a sigh.
"What do you mean, she's not in there. That's where the bathrooms
are."
"I know that, knucklehead, but she didn't go to the bathroom."
His eyes narrowed on me. "Then where did she go?" Then it hit him.
"Motherfucker!" He burst out then stormed out of the restaurant. I
couldn't hold my amusement back any longer and burst out laughing.
"She went to your place, didn't she?"
I nodded through my laughter. Logan gave in to his own grin. "Remind
me to never piss off a pregnant woman."
I stilled for a moment, reminded of the predicament we might find
ourselves in, but then pushed the thought out of my mind. Logan felt it
and studied me. "Oh, it's not because she's pregnant. That's just Lizzy
and Cole. They bicker and bitch and generally drive each other insane."
"They're like this all the time?"
"No, not to this extreme. But expecting a girl seems to mess with Cole's
head and make him even crazier than usual. He should have known
better. He forced her hand."
Logan took my hand and led me outside to his truck. "Forced her
hand?"
"Yeah. She threatened to move in with me for the rest of her pregnancy
if he didn't control his overprotectiveness. Saying what he did dared her
to follow through on that threat. And she did."
"They going to be okay?"
I waved off his concern, though it was kinda sweet. "They're always
okay. They love each other deeply. Nothing and no one will ever
change that." I felt Logan's eyes on me and turned my head to meet
them. He gave me a proud smile and squeezed my hand before he
opened the passenger door and guided me up in to the cab.
Logan didn't live too far away from the Back Bay area. He parked

his car in front of a building on Rutland Square, two spots behind my
car. The house his apartment was in looked definitely cozy and homey
and was nothing to sneeze at. It was one of those old redbrick buildings
that had been converted into several units. His unit was the one on the
lower floor with a separate entrance. When he unlocked the door, I was
a little speechless at what I saw. Never in a million years would I have
imagined Logan to live in a place like this. I thought he would drive us
downtown, where he lived in a modern apartment building. But this,
this was definitely not what I had imagined. The living room had high
ceilings and was surprisingly bright for being on the lower level. There
was a wood fireplace and hardwood floors. I looked around and noticed
everything was neat and clean. And cozy. This was nothing like the
bachelor pad I had expected. He either had a knack for decorating,
which I doubted, or someone else had decorated this place for him.
Don't get me wrong, his furniture and decorations were manly, but the
fact he had not just a big screen TV on the wall but had actual framed
pictures and photographs scattered through the place as well as toss
pillows on his dark brown leather couch was on indication of female
influence. That thought caused my stomach to knot up with jealousy.
Don't be silly, Rainey. You 're not the jealous type.
"Do I pass inspection?"
I turned to face him. "Sure." I shrugged. "It's nice."
He smiled at me. "It's nothing like your place, but it's not bad."
"No, it's not bad at all." I frowned. "It's really nice, actually." I went to
the window and looked out, trying to dispel that silly green monster
from my thoughts.
"Something wrong?" Logan came to stand right behind me. His hands
went to my hips. "You seem a little tense all of a sudden." He placed a
soft kiss behind my ear, causing goose bumps to run down my neck.
I turned around. He kept his hands in place, just loosened them enough
for me to move until we stood front-to-front. "I... This is..." I sighed
and closed my eyes for a second.
For goodness sakes, Rainey, what the hell is wrong with you? "What's
wrong?" I could hear the frown in Logan's voice and

opened my eyes to see I was right. He was studying me, trying to figure
out my sudden change in mood. God, I really was a handful.
I pushed the unhappy thoughts aside and smiled at him while I placed
my hands on his chest. "It's nothing. You've got a really nice place."
Try as hard as I might, I couldn't completely get rid of the tense
undertone in my voice.
"Rainey," was all he said as he stared at me, waiting for me to be
honest.
I sighed. "Fine." I looked over his shoulder and took in the room once
more. "It's...Who...I mean, who helped you decorate?" I inwardly
rolled my eyes at myself. I sounded like an insecure little girl.
I felt Logan's chest move under my hands. He was chuckling. My eyes
snapped back to his and narrowed on his amused face.
"Rainey, baby, are you jealous?"
I narrowed my eyes further and tried to take a step back, but Logan had
a firm hold on my hips.
"No," I said as nonchalantly as I could muster. I even added a shoulder
shrug to underline my non-jealousy. I could tell Logan saw through my
game, though, as he pulled me closer to his chest. His chuckle had
turned into a wide smile and his eyes had gone from amused and
teasing to soft and loving.
"Good. You've got no reason to be. Not now. Not ever." He kissed the
tip of my nose. "My mom picked all the furniture, wall color, pictures,
pillows, you name it. She had a blast."
I relaxed my body into his, hence giving away my relief at his answer.
"She's got good taste." I had no idea how to deal with these feelings.
What had made me so jealous? The fact he'd had women before me?
Duh, of course he had. I wasn't exactly a virgin either, and with the way
he looked and threw his charm around, he probably had women waiting
in the wings...No, that wasn't fair. He said he wasn't a player and I
believed him. I had admitted to judging him without knowing him; I
couldn't go back on that just because I didn't know how to deal with
being the jealous girlfriend after only a few days of being with him. I'd

never been jealous, had never let anyone close enough to risk that. I
didn't like it. Not one bit. It turned me into a person I didn't recognize.
But the image of some other woman picking out furniture with him and
arguing over wall colors had turned me into a harpy in less than two
seconds flat.
A finger under my chin lifted my face up, forcing me to meet Logan' s
eyes.
"It's okay to be jealous. In fact, I like it when you're jealous." I
narrowed my eyes at him once more, happy that annoyance was
winning out.
"So what, you're gonna try and make me jealous to make yourself feel
better?" I knew I was being a bitch, but knowing that didn't stop me
from dishing it out. Being pissed was an emotion I knew, an emotion I
could handle. It had been my best friend for many years.
Logan let go of my hips and cupped my face firmly but gently.
"I would never do that and you know it. I told you how I feel about you;
I promised you I would never hurt you. I'm gonna tell you till my face
turns blue if that's what it takes. This is not some game for me. I want
you. All of you. Only you. Making the person you love jealous on
purpose is stupid and juvenile. That's not who I am." He was firm at the
same time he was gentle, just like he was holding my face. I had
nothing to retort. I knew he was right and he knew I knew he was right,
so there was nothing to say. He also knew me well enough to not expect
an answer, which was an answer all in itself.
He studied my face for less than two seconds before his grin came
back. "I was jealous earlier today at the gym."
"What? Why?" I let the afternoon play through my mind. I hadn't given
him any reason to be jealous.
"Sam made a comment, and I was ready to rip his head off."
"Really?"
"Yeah. So there's no reason to feel stupid or silly about not wanting
another woman help me decorate my apartment. I would lose my mind
if you let another guy help you decorate the space you live in. It might
be irrational, but it's true nonetheless." That made me feel a little better,
the fact he had been jealous for no reason but wasn't afraid to

admit it either.
"Now that we're over that little snit of yours, let me show you the rest of
the apartment." Before I could comment, he kissed me hot and heavy,
and I couldn't help but reciprocate. My hands went into his hair, where
I pulled gently, but not too gently, making him moan into my mouth as
his hand grabbed my ass and he lifted me up. I wrapped my arms
around his neck and my legs around his hips, pressing my body against
his as tightly as I could. He pulled his mouth from mine on another
moan and a protesting mewl from me. His eyes were hot, and he pulled
me in closer until there was no space left between our bodies as his
hands went up my back. "Ready to see my bedroom?"
A shudder ran through me as I envisioned him naked and on top of me,
inside me. He held my eyes captive as they went from hot to scorching.
Then his mouth was on mine again, and he was devouring me, going
deep, as one of his hands went further up and cradled the back of my
head, keeping me in place, while the other kept pushing at my back to
press me even closer to him. I held on and kissed him back. That's all I
could do: hold on and let him take my mouth as he walked us to his
bedroom.
The next thing I registered was my back hitting a bed, but I didn't look
around, couldn't, since all my senses were overwhelmed by the feel of
Logan on top of me. I loved the feel of his body against mine, of his
weight pushing me into the mattress. It felt sexy and turned me on. I
dropped my legs from around his waist and pushed my center up
against his, finding him hot and hard. The next second, he was gone
and my eyes snapped open.
Logan stood at the edge of the bed, breathing hard, his eyes a fiery heat
while he roughly pulled his shirt over his head. He looked crazed, as if
he had lost control. All I could do was stare at him as he got undressed,
his movements jerky, my chest heaving, my breath panting.
"Get naked. Now," he ordered on a low growl.
I didn't hesitate and followed his orders. My shirt and bra went first
before I wiggled my way out of my jeans, taking my panties and socks
with them. I was naked in time to watch Logan roll on a condom.
Neither of us moved as we stared at each other with lust-filled eyes.

I lay naked and bared before him, with my elbows supporting my
weight and my legs wide open. He was standing naked in front of me,
his fists clenching at his sides, his dick hard and throbbing.
"Every day for a month I've envisioned you in my bed just like you are
now. Ready for me to take you." His voice was strained. He was on the
edge.
"Then take me," I whispered shakily. The last word hadn't left my lips
before he was on me. Before he took what was his. Because that's what
I was. His. Utterly and completely. Just like he had said I would be.
And I refused to be scared any longer. I wanted this, wanted him,
wanted us. So I took him just like he was taking me, claimed him like
he had claimed me. This wasn't lovemaking. It wasn't even rough sex.
No, this was more. So much more. It was passion. It was need. It was
raw. And it was the most beautiful thing I had ever experienced. I let go
completely, gave everything I had to give and took everything I wanted
to take, while Logan did the same.
Our mouths ate at each other, nipping, sucking, biting, licking every
inch we could reach. Our hands grabbed at each other, groping,
pinching, kneading every part they could reach. There wasn't one
gentle caress or one loving, lingering kiss, yet I loved every bit of it as I
lost myself in the sensation of everything Logan. Then with one hard
thrust, he filled me and started moving fast and deep, making us both
moan in ecstasy. But it wasn't enough, wouldn't ever be enough. I
grabbed his ass with both hands and pulled him into me roughly,
needing him deeper, needing more, at the same time I tilted my pelvis
up, seeking the friction.
"More, Logan, I need more," I whispered on a groan. He went harder
and faster, giving me what I needed as his lips found mine again. I was
close, so very close, when he tore his mouth from mine and slipped out
of me. He flipped me over and pulled me up by my hips until I was on
all fours, and not a second later, he filled me again, even deeper this
time.
"Yes," I moaned as I threw my head back.
"God, baby. You drive me crazy." Logan was holding on to my hips,
guiding me, pulling me against him as he thrust in and out of me so
powerfully and fast, I was close again to falling over the edge in a
matter

of moments. Then one powerful thrust made my arms give out and
pushed me to my belly. Logan fell with me but didn't stop. He spread
my legs wider with his knees and kept at me, his hands now supporting
his weight on the mattress next to my breasts, giving him more
leverage. His weight on my ass pressed my hip into the mattress,
creating heavenly friction.
"Rainey. My god, you feel so good."
"Logan, I.. .I need..." I couldn't say anything more. The sensations were
overwhelming me. I needed to come. Needed it with everything in me.
Logan knew this. He changed his angle and ground against me, circling
his hips. I bit my lip on a moan and closed my eyes. Then I was up
again, pulled up against his chest as he sat back on his haunches while
he kept thrusting up.
God, he was so strong.
"I know what you need. And I' m giving it to you, baby. Always.
Everything you need. Whatever you need, I'll give it to you." His voice
was nothing more than a low growl, but I heard every word even
though I couldn't respond. I was wide open for him, sitting backwards
in his lap, his chest against my back, while he moved inside me. One of
his fingers found my clit and pressed in, while his other hand grabbed
my breast and kneaded. Then he pinched my nipple on an upward
thrust and a finger swirl, and I was lost.
"Yes, baby. I can feel your pussy grabbing me. God. Come. Now,
Rainey. Come with me." He bit the back of my neck and let out a long
and deep groan, pushing me over the edge and into bliss with him. My
muscles contracted around him, and I could feel his heat erupt inside
me. He clamped his arms around me, holding me tight, preventing us
from falling into the mattress, while I dug my fingernails into his
thighs.
When I came down, I was lifeless in his arms as I tried to catch my
breath.
"Fuck, that was amazing."
Logan kissed my shoulder. "That's an understatement." I giggled and
pressed my head against the side of his. "I don't think I can move."
"Then I did my job right." He loosened his arms a little and started

roaming my sides, over my belly, then up to my breasts. Then he
whispered, "I love you, Rainey."
I swallowed and waited for the fear to set in, but it didn't come. No, it
wasn't fear I was feeling. It was warmth, it was contentment, it was
happiness. His love for me warmed my insides and filled me, assuring
me I would never feel alone again. And I knew I loved him too. "I love
you too." It was true. Crazy but true. I was in love with Logan. I was his
and he was mine.
Logan turned me in his arms so I was sitting astride his lap. My eyes
locked on his surprised but extremely pleased ones. "You love me?"
I nodded slowly but firmly while I kept holding his eyes. "I do."
Then his mouth was on mine once more, lovingly instead of lust-driven
now, adoring, and the next moment, I was on my back in the bed and he
was lying on top of me. This time, we made love, slow and tender love,
during which we worshipped each other's body, each other's mind, each
other' s soul. Every touch felt like a caress, every kiss was mind
consuming, every look soul shattering.
We fell asleep with our bodies entangled, our arms around each other,
breathing each other in.
I was happy.
Content.
Safe in his arms.

Chapter 16 Rainey
"I'VE GOTTA TAKE A SHOWER."
I was sitting on the kitchen counter, pressed against Logan, who was
standing in between my legs facing me, kissing me. "In a minute."
"I'm already running late," I said against his lips. I didn't want him to
stop, but I had a job I needed to get to. After one last lingering touch, he
rested his forehead on my shoulder and growled in frustration. "I need
to be alone with you. No jobs, no interruptions, no training."
I kissed the side of his head before I leaned back to find his eyes.
"And how do you suggest we do that?" His fight was in three months. I
remembered only too well what that meant. The closer he got to the
fight, the more intense and time-consuming his training would become.
We'd be lucky if we saw each other at all in six weeks' time.
He glared at me. Then his face split into a huge smile and he kissed the
tip of my nose. "As soon as the fight is over, I'll take you somewhere.
Anywhere. For at least a week. Maybe a month. We'll leave
that night."
My eyes grew wide. "Logan, I can't take time off for a month. I can get
a week, maybe even two if I ask real nice, but there's no way Taryn is
gonna give me a month off."
He kissed my mouth. "I'll take what I can get. Two weeks it is then," he
said on a grin. I kissed him back but frowned. But before I could
respond, the front door to his apartment opened and a woman walked
in. Logan looked over his shoulder then looked back to me and shook
his head in what looked like aggravation mixed with amusement. "Two
weeks," he repeated before he pulled back, turned around, and leaned
beside me against the counter.

I was too befuddled to say or do anything but stare at the woman. Who
was she? And why did she waltz in here as if she did it every day? And
why wasn't Logan upset about it?
"Hey, Mom."
Shit. His mother?
"Logan," his mother greeted with a wide smile. Her eyes were on me,
alight with happiness. "You must be Rainey." "Um, yes, ma'am. I'm
Rainey."
She waved her hand in front of me. "None of that ma'am nonsense. I'm
Rita, Logan's mom." She took the handful of steps that separated us and
hugged me. While I was sitting on her son's kitchen counter in nothing
but panties and one of his t-shirts. I awkwardly hugged her back, then
gave Logan big eyes. And what did he do? He chuckled! My wide eyes
turned into a glare, which made him burst out laughing. He swung an
arm around my shoulders and kissed my temple. I did nothing. What
was I supposed to do? I couldn't very well throw a fit in front of his
mother, especially not the first time I met her. It was embarrassing
enough to be caught half-naked in her son's kitchen.
"Mom, what are you doing here?"
"I wanted to meet Rainey."
"I get that, but don't you think you could have waited until we were
dressed? Or maybe until I brought her over to your place?"
She shrugged. "You're usually ready to leave at this time. I thought I'd
catch you real quick before your training."
Logan shook his head. "Mom. Seriously."
Rita rolled her eyes at her son. This was weird. I had no idea what to do
with myself. I'd never met my boyfriend's mother, especially not in my
panties.
"My son didn't lie. You are the most beautiful woman I've ever seen."
"I. u h . "
"Go take your shower, baby." Logan gave me a squeeze then pulled me
off the counter. I was only too happy to have an excuse to leave the
room. Hopefully by the time I was showered and dressed, Rita would
be gone, and I could pretend this never happened.

"Okay. It was nice meeting you, Rita." I gave her an awkward wave
before I fled through the bedroom to the bathroom, grabbing my bag on
the way. I set it on the vanity counter and stared at myself in the mirror.
Fantastic. I look exactly like I just crawled out of bed after a hot night
of sex.
I shook my head at myself as I tried to bring my hair into some sort of
order—and failed miserably. I sighed and dropped my hands. I'd just
have to wash it. The two closed doors between the bathroom and the
kitchen didn't block Logan and Rita's voices, though I couldn't make
out what they were saying. Then I remembered what day it was. It was
Monday, of course, but my brain was just now making the connection
of the importance of the day. With everything that had been going on at
work and with Logan in the last few days, it had completely slipped my
mind that today was the day Mom would get her test results back. I
frantically searched my bag for my phone only to realize it wasn't in
there. I checked the bedroom, even looked under the pillows and
blanket, just in case, but came up empty.
"Shit." My eyes went to the door. It must be out there. I could still hear
Rita's voice, a little clearer now, but still not clear enough to make out
her words. No way would I make another spectacle of myself and walk
in there still not dressed. I checked the alarm clock on Logan's bedside
table. It was still early. The doctor probably hadn't even called yet. And
if he had, Ben or Mom would have called me right away. They knew
how worried I was; they wouldn't leave me hanging if they had any
new information.
I went back into the bathroom and started the shower while I undressed.
The water felt amazing as soon as I stood under it. I took a deep breath
and tried to let the hot spray relax my suddenly tense muscles and ease
my mind, something I had never been real good at. But I tried
nonetheless. My being upset and worried wouldn't change the situation.
Everything would be okay. We'd get the news and then deal with
whatever we had to deal with head-on. It would be okay.
Right.
I took one of the fastest showers in the world, towel-dried my hair,

pulled it up into a messy bun on the top of my head, and got dressed all
in less than fifteen minutes.
When I walked back into the kitchen, Rita was still there, now sitting at
the table with a coffee in her hand and a huge smile on her face. My
return smile felt a little hesitant. Logan was walking toward me with
the phone to his ear.
"Hold on, Sarah. She's right here." He held the phone out to me. "It's
your mom. I'm sorry I answered your phone, but it kept ringing, so I
checked who it was, thinking it might be important. When I saw it was
your mom, I answered."
Before he was completely done with his explanation, I snatched the
phone out of his hand and held it to my ear.
"Mom?" My voice was higher than usual, giving away my trepidation
and fear of the news she was going to deliver.
"Hey, baby," her voice wasn't filled with fear; it was soft and calming,
as if she were trying to soothe me before I even knew why I needed to
be soothed. Which told me exactly what I didn't want to know, what I'd
hoped I would never hear come out of my mom's mouth.
"Mom," I whispered as I closed my eyes and dropped my chin to my
chest in an effort to keep the tears at bay. My throat was closing fast,
and I had to swallow a few times to get used to the lump lodged inside
it. I could feel Logan move closer before I felt his arms come around
my waist. I was grateful he was here, but I couldn't acknowledge him,
couldn't make myself move or open my eyes, couldn't say or do
anything as I waited for her to tell me.
"It'll be okay, Rainey." Mom's voice was still soft, yet she sounded
determined. My strong mother. Always keeping her chin up and hoping
for the best. Always making sure Ben and I did the same. But I couldn't.
I couldn't pretend this wasn't breaking my heart.
"Tell me," I whispered brokenly as the first tear ran down my cheek. I
let it fall. Logan didn't. He brushed it away with his finger before he
cupped my face and lifted it to his. I opened my eyes and saw his
worried ones through the blur of tears focused on me. He held me like
this while my mom told me, "I have to have surgery, baby. A full
hysterectomy. The doctor already scheduled it."

"When?" The tears were falling freely now. It hurt to breathe.
Everything hurt. I couldn't lose her. I'd already lost my father; the
thought of losing my mom was incomprehensible to me. She was all
the family I had left.
"Next week Thursday."
That's when a sob escaped.
"Rainey, listen to me." My mom's voice was loud in my ear, giving me
no other choice but to do as she asked. "Are you listening?"
I nodded and whispered through another sob, "I'm listening."
"I know this is hard, but we'll make it through this. Do you hear me? I'm
not going to die. I'm not ready, so I'll do anything I can to fight this; for
you, for Ben, for me. But I need you to do the same. I need you to fight
with me. I need you to believe I can win."
She was right. My mom needed me to be strong, and here I was, falling
apart at the news of her needing surgery. I squeezed my eyes one last
time, pushing out the final tears, then I straightened my spine and lifted
my chin. "I am. I do. We'll win this."
"That's my girl. Now, I would like you to bring Logan over for dinner
tonight. We have something else we need to talk about. Do you think
he'll be free?"
My mind was too preoccupied to try and figure out what else she would
want to tell me, so I didn't even try and instead, focused on her
question. "I'll ask him."
"Good. I just made you pizza, so you'll have to make do with something
else. What does he like?"
I couldn' t clear my head enough to think about it. I also had no idea
what food Logan liked, other than pasta and Mexican. "I don't know."
"Well, ask him," she prompted me. In typical mom fashion, she
delivered the news, dealt with it, then she moved on as if nothing
happened, living life as normal as possible. I had to go along with it,
had to give her what she needed, even if I was dying inside. So I moved
the phone away from my mouth while keeping it to my ear and asked
Logan, "My mom wants to know what food you like. She is cooking us
dinner tonight."
Logan studied me for a few moments before he answered me. "I'll

eat anything she makes."
"Tell him I need more information than that." My lips turned up in a
small smile at hearing my mother's demand.
"She needs more information than that."
Logan returned my smile. "Then tell her to go light since I'm in
training. Chicken is good. Veggies. Salad. Good carbs."
I turned the phone back to my mouth. "You got that?"
"Yes, I did. Having cooked for a boxer in training before comes in
handy, I guess," she murmured.
I ignored that last part. She sounded like she was already planning the
meal in her head. "When do you want us?"
"Let's say six?"
"Okay."
"Rainey?" Mom called my name.
"Yes, Mom?"
"I love you, baby. I'll be all right. I promise."
We both knew that was something she couldn't promise. I swallowed,
and it went down a little easier now, even though the knot hadn't
completely dissolved yet, as I knew it wouldn't for a long time. "I love
you too, Mom."
"I'll see you tonight."
"Tonight."
Then we both hung up.
Logan slipped the phone out of my hand and put it on the kitchen
counter. Then he took me by the hand and walked me to the coffee
machine, where he poured a coffee then took both the cup and me to the
kitchen table. He sat down, pulled me sideways into his lap just like he
had when I had told him about my father, and handed me the coffee.
"Talk to me."
I took a grateful sip of the hot and heavenly liquid. "My mom has
cancer."
I heard his mother gasp behind me but kept my eyes on Logan's. They
were sad and understanding. He didn't push for more information but
instead waited for me to be ready to keep talking as he gently brushed
his thumb where he rested his hand on my thigh.

God, he was such a good guy.
I took a deep breath and told him the whole story. "A few years ago, she
had to undergo chemo. It took two rounds before she beat it. It was
hard. I was scared to death, but she fought it. And she won. She's been
fine for years now. Then last week, Ben waited for me to come home
from work. I knew something was wrong when I saw him sitting on my
front porch. He told me they'd found something during her annual
check-up and had sent her for more tests. It wasn't looking good."
"The morning of the staff meeting, when Jesse and I pitched the idea of
the self-defense classes for the girls. That sadness at the back of your
eyes was because your mom is sick again."
I looked at him. Really looked at him. "You saw that?" I had been so
careful and had tried my best to hide it.
"Of course I did. I told you, I know you better than you think." He
kissed me softly on the lips. "I was gonna ask you about it, but the last
few days have been kind of busy." He smirked at me. I smiled at him.
"Yeah." He kissed me again, a little longer this time. "So, what's the
plan? Does she have to do chemo again?" I shook my head no but then
stopped. Did she? After the surgery? "I' m not sure, but her doctor
scheduled her surgery for next week." "She has to have surgery?" I
nodded. "A hysterectomy."
"Baby," he whispered, his eyes full of understanding and support.
"She'll be okay."
His smirk came back. "She gave you a verbal ass-kicking, didn't
she?"
"She did. I needed it. I'm good now." At least that's what I told myself.
"Rainey." "I'm good."
"You don't have to be. Not with me. I know you're strong, and I know
you can put up a tough front, but you don't have to with me. With me,
you can be whatever and whoever you need to be." Tears were forming
in my eyes again, for a different reason this time. I loved this man, and
he loved me, any way I came. I didn't have to be strong all the

time, didn't have to pretend I was okay when I was breaking inside. I
could let go, could cry when I was sad, could vent when I was mad; I
could be who I was without the fear of not being good enough, of him
leaving me. He had told me this numerous times, but his love for me
finally sank in completely. As did the fact I needed him, and I wanted
him. I wanted us.
I didn't say any of that. I didn't need to. I was sure he could read the
emotions in my eyes. "God, you're such a good guy."
His blinding smile made me want to kiss him. So that's what I did,
completely forgetting his mom was still sitting at the table with us.
Logan stopped the kiss before it got too far. When he saw my pout, he
burst out laughing.
"I would love to get more of that, but you'd kick my ass later for letting
you give it to me in front of my mom."
I jerked in his lap. "Oh." I turned around and saw Rita smiling at us,
proud and happy. "Sorry."
She waved my apology away. "Don't you dare feel bad. It's nice to
witness my son in love with an amazing woman. I've waited a long time
to see it."
"Uh...thank you."
Logan' s body shook underneath me from his chuckle. I gave him a
frown, to which his answer was a kiss on the tip of my nose. "Cute."
I ignored him and started to get up. "I have to get to work." "You okay
to drive?" Logan got up with me and rested his hands on my hips.
"I'm okay to drive. And anyway, you've got to get to the gym." "I'll
drive you if you need some time to—" I put my fingers on his lips to
stop him. "Really, Logan. I' m okay." He gave me a penetrating look
before he nodded. "All right. Get your ass to work. See you at lunch?"
"I'll try."
"Please do. Call me?" "I'll call you."
"Not just about lunch. Call me if you need me."

My heart melted at his words, as did my body. I leaned into him and
touched my lips to his, where I whispered, "I'll call." I gave him one last
quick kiss before I grabbed my stuff and headed out the door after I said
goodbye to Rita.
Out in the car, I took a deep breath and tried to center myself. I couldn't
believe how much had happened in the past week. It was almost too
much to wrap my head around it all. But right then and there I made the
decision to not overanalyze anything. I had the tendency to get lost in
my head, to find reasons why things wouldn't work, even if I had to
create them myself. Logan had proven that he wouldn't let me do that
anymore, that he wouldn't let me get lost in my thoughts. It was almost
as if he was in my head with me, taking my hand and leading me back
to reality before I sank too deep. It sounded silly and mushy, so unlike
me, but I was tired of fighting it. I was tired of being scared and angry
all the time. My mom had been right. Lizzy and Bobby had been right.
I needed to move on and let that shit go. If I didn't, I would ruin the best
thing that ever happened to me. And with my mom being so sick she
needed surgery, I needed someone I could rely on, someone who
wouldn't let me drown, someone who supported me no matter what. I
had only barely made it through last time. This time, I needed help.
I needed Logan.
So I promised myself I would hold on tight. I would fight for this
relationship just like I would fight with my mom to beat the shit out of
cancer.
This wasn't me pretending I was fine.
This wasn't me hiding behind a wall of anger.
This was me finally letting go.
This was me.
Rainey Miller.
Logan
"I like her," Logan's mom stated as soon as Rainey closed the door
behind her.

"I told you, you would."
"And I like you with her. I've never seen you like this. Don't get me
wrong, you' ve always been good with any of your girlfriends, but this
is different."
Logan took a sip from his coffee and looked at his mother over the rim
of the cup. "I've never been in love before."
He watched as his mom's eyes went wide and happiness mixed with
pride and excitement spread across her face. "Have you told her?"
Logan nodded, "I have."
"And?"
"She didn't say it back right away, but as of last night, I know my girl's
in love with me too." He couldn't hold back his huge grin. That grin
turned into a deep chuckle when his mom jumped up from her chair and
came to hug him.
"I'm so happy for you, Logan."
"You and me both."
"Having to chase her did you some good. I'm glad you didn't give up on
her."
Logan had kept his mom in the loop about his many failed attempts to
get Rainey to go out with him. They were close. Ever since his father
had left and he had fallen off the rails, then found his way back with
Pete's help, they'd had a special bond, his mom and him. He cherished
it, wouldn't ever want to be without it. That's why he could empathise
with what Rainey must be going through right now. He couldn't
imagine his mom being sick like that, didn't want to think about losing
her. Both Rainey and him had had only their mothers to rely on after
their fathers had abandoned them. That formed a special bond, a bond
he could now share with his woman, since she, too, would understand
why he was so close to his mom and would never question or criticize
it. Logan had Pete and Jay, while Rainey had Ben in her life. But
nothing would ever erase the fact they were both unwanted by their
fathers. That is a scar that will never heal. It might scab over and might
fade over time, but it will never truly be gone. They both understood
that and knew they had to live with it. While Logan had left that hurt
behind and had started a life away from that pain and guilt, Rainey had
held on to it, had let it

influence her life negatively out of self-preservation. He understood
that emotion behind it all too well and didn't fault her for it. But he was
happy to see that being with him made her open up her old wounds and
look at them from a different perspective. From a guilt-free one. He had
been ecstatic when she had opened up to him about her father without
him having to ask, though he hadn't been ecstatic to see her drown in
self-doubt. He had been mad, furious. Still was. It would take her some
time to let go of that and see herself as the great and lovable person she
was, but he had no doubt she would get there. And he was only too
happy to help her get there faster. But first things first.
Now, they had to deal with what was ahead: Sarah's surgery and
recovery, then probably chemo. Seemingly endless hospital stays and a
lot of downs before things would be looking up again. He would be
there for her, no matter what. Even if that meant he had to postpone his
fight. Rainey took priority over everything. It's what he had said, and
it's what he had meant. Nothing meant more than her happiness, her
well-being. Not a fight. Not a title. Nothing. And judging by last night
and this morning, it seemed like she was slowly starting to believe it
too.
"I would have never given up on her. She could have made me wait six
months, hell, a year, and I still would have chased her."
Logan's mom's eyes turned serious. "She's going to need you, honey."
"I know, Mom."
"Are you prepared to give her that?"
"Absolutely, no doubt in my mind, yes. She is everything. Nothing else
matters. She's the woman I plan on spending the rest of my life with.
She's had it tough and didn't trust people to have her back, but that's
changing. I'm changing it. I told her she can rely on me, and I have no
plans to go back on that. Ever."
"She's had it rough?"
Logan nodded. He forgot they hadn't really talked in a couple of days,
that he hadn't had a chance to fill her in. So he did it now.
"Fuck, Mom. You should have seen her face when she told me about
her father giving up his parental rights. It split my heart right down

in half." He would never forget the lost look on Rainey's face from that
night. He'd wanted to hunt that fucker who hurt her down and rip his
head off with his bare hands. His hands were still itching thinking about
it now.
His mom's eyes turned sad. "That's terrible, Logan. I can only imagine
what that did to her, especially at such an important age for a girl. No
wonder she didn't want anything to do with you."
"Yeah. No wonder."
"But you broke through."
"I did."
"I'm proud of you, son." "Thank you, Mom."
She gave him another hug, a hug only a mom can give her son.
When she released him, he said, "I'm gonna need your help, Mom.
She's gonna need as many loving people around her as she can get. She
might not know it yet, or she might not admit to it, but she's gonna need
all our help. I won't let her get stuck in that head of hers ever again."
"Anything you need, honey. You know that."
"Thank you."
"Of course."
Logan' s phone rang, and he checked the caller ID. It was Jay. About
fucking time.
Logan had tried to reach him for days now, had left several messages,
but Jay hadn't returned any of his calls.
He picked up on the second ring. "Jay, it's about fucking time I heard
from you."
"Logan. I got your messages, but I needed some time. Didn't Pete
tell you?"
"Yeah, he told me. Would have liked to hear it from you though. " He
wouldn't make it easy on him. Jay had disappeared in the middle of
training for the most important fight of his career without a word,
without an explanation. Logan was pissed as fuck at his trainer and
friend.
"I. I know. Believe me, son, I know. I should have talked to you
sooner."

Logan furrowed his brows. This didn't sound like the Jay he knew. The
Jay he knew would never apologize like this, would never cave that
fast. He would trade insults and threats, tease the shit out of him for
being such a girl. What he would never do is tell anyone they were right
and apologize for his behavior right off the bat.
"What's going on, Jay? Where have you been?"
"Can you meet for coffee? At the diner? I need to do this face-to-face."
"You're not coming in today?" Logan was confused. If Jay needed to
speak to him in person, then it would be easiest to just meet him at the
gym.
"You might not want me there anymore once you know," Jay mumbled
under his breath. That threw Logan completely. What the fuck was
going on?
"Jay—"
"Meet me at the diner in fifteen. I'll explain everything then." Then
Logan had dead air.
"What the fuck?" Logan stared at his phone in disbelief. He couldn't
make rhyme or reason of Jay's behavior.
"What's wrong?"
"I have no fucking clue. Jay has been AWOL for a few days, not
showing up for training, not answering my calls. Now he wants to meet
me for coffee to explain. It doesn't make sense."
"Did something happen during training?"
Logan shook his head. "No. Nothing happened. Everything is going
well. We're right on schedule."
"You think he might want to drop you? That someone made him an
offer or something?"
Logan thought about it for a moment. Turnover in trainers wasn't high
at this level, but it also wasn't unheard of. He couldn't imagine why Jay
would want to stop training him, but it was definitely a possibility he
would want move on after this fight. He was a great trainer, had a lot of
knowledge and experience. It wouldn't surprise him if someone wanted
to snatch him up. Maybe he'd gotten a great offer and had been out of
town negotiating his new contract or something and was now ready to

talk about it.
"Maybe. It's a possibility."
"Go meet him and let him explain. Racking your brain about it won't do
you any good."
Logan rubbed his hands over his face. "You're right, it won't. I gotta
go."
He went to the bedroom to find a shirt and grabbed his bag with a
change of clothes so he could shower and change after his training
before he went to Rainey's house. Then he kissed his mom on the cheek
and promised to give her a call later that day before he left to meet his
elusive and secretive trainer.
w w w
Logan was sitting at a table by the front window. He had ordered coffee
for the both of them when he saw Jay walk through the door. He gave
him a chin lift and watched as the man he considered one of his father
figures walked over with his head hanging low, not making eye
contact. He almost looked guilty.
Shit.
Maybe his mom was right and Logan would have to look for another
trainer soon. He had been with both Pete and Jay for so long, since he
was a child, really, he couldn't imagine ever training with anyone else.
But if that was what this was about, then he would understand, even if it
would suck. But he didn't appreciate Jay not giving him a heads-up, not
even mentioning he was interested in working with a different fighter,
or that one had approached him.
Jay sat down across from him, still avoiding his eyes. Logan watched
as he reached for the menu. They both knew they wouldn't be eating, so
Logan lost his patience, not appreciating this game Jay was playing.
"I ordered us coffee already. Time for you to spill it." Jay dropped his
hand mid-air, then ran it through his hair and sighed.

"There's something I've been meaning to talk to you about for a few
days now." He stopped as he seemingly tried to find the right words.
Logan got more impatient when Jay didn't continue.
"And?" he prompted him.
"It's..." He stopped and looked around the diner, almost as if he was
nervous. Then he changed the subject. "How's your girl? Pete
mentioned she came by the gym a few times. He had high praise for
her."
Logan shook his head in exasperation. "Look, Jay, don't try to change
the subject. I'd love to tell you about Rainey, but I think we've got
something else to discuss, don't you?" Logan's eyes bore into Jay's as
he waited. Then he waited some more. When Jay didn't say anything
for a solid minute, Logan was done.
"You're leaving, aren't you? Signed a new contract. That's what this is
about, isn't it?" He had no doubt he hit the nail right on the head when
Jay flinched. It was a slight flinch, but Logan saw it. In one way, he
understood why Jay had such a hard time telling him, it even made him
somewhat happy, but on the other hand, he was getting tired of this
game. Life happened. Things changed. People moved on. Jay was a
part of Logan's family and would remain that, even if he were training
another fighter. Jay should know that.
"Jay, I understand. I'm not thrilled, but I understand if you want to
move on."
"No, Logan. You don't understand. This is not...I'm not...I didn't sign
another contract. I would never do that without talking to you and Pete
first. Hell, I'm not even looking. I'm happy where I am."
Logan frowned, even though he was relieved. "Then what the hell is
going on? Are you sick?" He asked Jay the same question he had asked
Pete the day before, the question Pete hadn't answered. What would the
odds be of two people in his life being severely sick?
"No, I'm not sick."
"Then what, Jay? What the fuck is going on?" Logan raised his voice in
aggravation. "Jesus Christ, would you spit it out already!"

"

I

—"

Before Jay could say anything, Logan heard a loud gasp and felt

eyes on him. He turned his head and saw Rainey standing by the front
door, just a few feet inside the diner. He started to smile, happily
surprised by the coincidence of unexpectedly running into his woman,
when he noticed the expression on her face. It was frozen in shock
while she stood stock-still. But it was the look in her eyes that made his
heart plummet.
Something was wrong.
Very wrong.
Did something happen to her mom?
Then he noticed Lizzy standing beside her, a look of confusion on her
face.
"Rainey? What's wrong? What happened?" He got up and was about to
go to her when she seemed shocked out of her stupor and took a step
back, away from him. Out of the corner of his eye he noticed Jay was
getting up also and came to stand beside him. Rainey's eyes snapped to
him, and she flinched before she took another step back and turned her
glare to Logan.
This glare was not just a glare.
She wasn't pissed, she wasn't angry.
No.
She looked broken.
Hurt.
Betrayed.
And all the heat of that betrayal was directed at him.
What the fuck?
"You bastard," she whispered, her voice full of hate. "You fucking
bastard."
Rainey
Pain sliced through me at what I was seeing, pain so intense it literally
took my breath away. It was too much, too big. I didn't know what to do
with it as I stared at Logan sitting in a booth across from none

other but my father.
Before I had started my car this morning to drive to work, Lizzy had
called me to remind me it was my turn to bring the donuts. Good thing
she had, because I would have forgotten, which would have meant
endless grumbling and possible teasing for the rest of the day if anyone
found out the reason why I forgot.
"I knew you would forget. What with the hottie who took you to his
apartment for the first time last night." She was teasing me, but I wasn't
biting.
"Oh no, my friend. I prepaid when I gave you my keys last night and
kept my mouth shut about your whereabouts until after you had enough
time to escape. How did that go by the way? Does your husband owe
me a new door?"
Lizzy laughed. "No, he doesn't owe you a new door. Just a lamp that
broke when he chased me through the house before he finally caught
me in the guest bedroom."
Ugh. Did I want to know the details? Not really.
"Please tell me you changed the sheets."
She laughed again. "No need. He carried me bridal style to his car after
the chase. Such a caveman."
"As if you don't love it," I called her out on her fake exasperation. "So
no grovelling? He came, he chased, he carried you off? I'm a little
disappointed in you."
"Oh, I made him grovel all right. His knees should be hurting today for
the amount of time he spent on them." There was leering and longing in
her voice. Okay, that's more than I wanted or needed to know.
"Please spare me the details. I'm gonna pretend nothing dirty happened
between you two in my house."
"Pfft. Right. As if you and Logan don't get dirty."
"We do. But it's my house. You want the image of us getting it on
anywhere in your house?"
"I see your point. Pretend I didn't say anything."
"Consider it done. You already at the shelter?"
"No, I was just about to leave."
"I can come get you. Logan doesn't live that far away from you

guys, and I'm just leaving."
"Great! That means I get to pick my donuts."
I giggled. Lizzy loved her donuts. More so than I did, which was saying
something.
We hung up, and I picked her up less than ten minutes later.
I had debated on my way over if I should tell her about my mom's
surgery, but in the light of my recent revelation and decision to let
people I loved and trusted help me, I knew I had no choice but to. So
after a couple of minutes of friendly bickering, I spilled my beans.
"I'm so sorry, Rainey." Her words were sincere and heartfelt, as I knew
they would be. "How are you feeling?"
"I...I'm terrified, of course. I don't want to lose her. But I don't feel as
alone as I did last time. I don't know. Even just a few days ago when
Ben told me, I was on the verge of losing it. And when she called me
this morning, I was a mess and burst out into tears while I was standing
in the middle of Logan's kitchen with his mother watching, but I'm
strangely okay now. Not okay as in I'm not worried or scared, but I don'
t know. I feel braver somehow. Does that sound stupid?"
"I don't think it does. Not at all. You're opening yourself up, letting us
in, letting us help. You know you're not alone in this and that gives you
comfort and strength. But Rainey, you've always been strong. It' s just
that now, you seem to be more grounded, if that makes any sense."
"Strangely, it does. God, I'm turning into a girl, aren't I?"
Lizzy shrugged. "Kinda. Doesn't mean you can't be badass. I mean,
look at me. I' m a girl now, with real girlfriends, getting all soft and
mushy, but I can still kick my husband's ass and make him worship me
on his knees when he gets out of line. It's all about give and take. You
give each other what you need, without question, which makes taking
obsolete, because you already have everything you could ever want. I
had to learn that. It wasn't easy and took a while to sink in, but it's the
most logical thing to me now."
I nodded, thinking, mulling her words over. She was right. It sounded
bizarre, yet crystal clear and logical.
"And don't think me showing you the light distracted me from you

meeting Logan's mother. I'm gonna make you talk. But lucky you, I
need some sustenance first."
We pulled into the diner's parking lot and got out. Lizzy was already
contemplating what donuts she and her daughter were in the mood for.
She was debating between honey glazed, old fashioned, and Boston
cream when she decided to just get one of each, making me laugh. That
laugh had died in less than a second when I'd spotted them across the
room upon hearing Logan's voice.
Now I was standing here, frozen to the spot, while my mind tried to
make sense of what I was seeing.
And the only thing it could come up with was the fucking bastard had
been playing me this whole time. He had pretended to not know who I
was, who my asshole father was, when all along he had been in cahoots
with him.
God, I was such a fucking idiot.
It was clear as day to me now why he wouldn't give up his pursuit of me
for over a month. He wasn't in love with me, couldn't be. He was doing
it for my father, faking it, sweet-talking me into letting him get close.
Oh, I didn't doubt he had fun; that would have been too hard to fake for
that long and that many times. But his main goal hadn't been being with
me. Why my father would come up with this ludicrous scheme was
beyond me, but the proof was right here before my eyes.
I had been wrong earlier.
Everyone had been wrong. Logan had fooled all of us.
God, how can one person fool so many without getting caught?
But he was caught now. He hadn't known he would run into me, so he
didn't need to have his guard up, didn't need to slip his mask on while
he was sitting down to a meeting with his partner in crime.
I saw Logan's mouth move, but didn't hear a thing he said. It was no use
anyway. There was nothing he could say, nothing I wanted to hear. I
took a step back when he got up, when they both got up, and tried to
make a run for it when Logan moved toward me.
I had to get out of here.
I heard nothing and saw nothing until I was outside, when I was
suddenly swung around by a hand on my arm.

"What's going on? What happened?" It was Logan. Of course it
was.
"Get your hands off me." I tried to wrench my arm free, but he
tightened his grip and pulled me closer to him.
"No. Not until you tell me what's going on. And even then, I will not let
you go. Not ever. I told you I would never leave you. I meant it."
He could not be believed. "Really, Logan? Are you serious?" I wasn't
screaming. I wasn't hysterical. No, what I was, was way worse than
that. I straightened my spine and took a deep breath, then held his eyes
as right along with that breath, I re-erected my walls. One by one, they
took shape, going higher, becoming firmer, impenetrable, until they
were more solid than they'd ever been. Nobody would ever make it
through them again.
I was done.
"No," Logan whispered, sounding terrified. "Don't you do that. Don't
lock me out."
Right. As if you care.
"You can drop the charade, Logan." I had stopped struggling against
his hold and was now standing still. Passive.
"Charade? What charade? Baby, what the hell are you talking about?" I
didn't let it penetrate, his endearment, his beseeching eyes, his
confusion. Neither did I feel his hand on my arm, his fingers touching
my cheek.
I was cold.
Stone cold.
Ice cold.
Unfeeling.
I had to be in order to survive.
I knew if I let any of that touch me, I would break into a million pieces,
so many pieces I would never be able to fit them all back together
again. Nothing would penetrate. I couldn't let it. Then one thing did:
my father' s voice saying my name.
"Rainey. Princess."
I flinched at the pain hearing his voice caused my heart. No, I didn' t
just flinch; I wrapped my arms around my stomach as if to hold

myself together, scared I would crumble and fold in on myself like a
ragdoll.
"Princess?" Logan whispered in disbelief. His head whipped back and
forth between my father and me.
"What's the hell is going on? Rainey?" That was Lizzy. I looked around
and found her standing a little off to the side, between Logan and me
and my father. I focused on her and begged her with my eyes to get me
out of here.
"Why are you calling my girlfriend Princess? Do you two know each
other?"
"Logan, son—" Another cut straight through the heart. A painful noise
made its way up my throat and climbed out of my mouth. My eyes
didn't leave Lizzy's when I saw comprehension fill them. Then they
went from understanding straight into protection mode, which in
Lizzy's case was mixed with a healthy dose of fury.
"You have got to be shitting me! You're the asshole father who left her,
who threw her away because you weren't man enough to deal with your
shit?"
I felt Logan stiffen in front me, but I didn't look away from Lizzy as she
reamed out my father. "And now what? You're canoodling up to her
boyfriend to find a way in? How about you grow some real man balls
and pick up the phone so you can grovel until your knees bleed?"
She got it wrong, but then again, she didn't know who Jay was to
Logan, so she couldn't understand the intricacies of their game.
"Tell me you're joking," Logan said in a low voice full of threat. I could
still feel his eyes on me, but his words were meant for my father. "Tell
me you are not Rainey's father!" He roared. I snapped my head around
and saw Logan's was now turned and he was focused on the man
standing not five feet from us.
"Jay!" he shouted. "Don't look at her! Look at me!" I checked on my
father just as he looked away from me and to Logan.
"I am."
"You're what?" "Rainey's father."
I could feel Logan's anger vibrating through his hands into my

skin. It was hot. Stifling. He slowly turned without taking his eyes from
him. His hand on my arm slid down to grab hold of my hand, which he
clasped tightly as he stood in front of me in a protective stance.
"So that's what this meeting was about? You were going to tell me
you're the scum who left her and her mom because you couldn't deal
with losing a fucking title? You're the coward who gave up his rights as
a father because he couldn't face the mess he made of things? The
asshole who made his daughter feel like she's unworthy of love? Of
happiness? Because her fucking father, the man who is supposed to
take care of her, to make her feel protected, to make her feel like the
most beautiful and cherished girl in the world, didn't love her enough to
stay?" His voice wasn't loud now. It was an angry and lethal hiss.
"Yes, I am," my father admitted. "And I have never regretted anything
more in my life. But you don't understand. I had to—"
"Don't understand? Don't fucking understand? There is nothing to
understand! Let me tell you something, Jay. A man, a real man, doesn't
hurt his family like that. Christ, for years I have looked up to you.
You've mentored me, showed me the way, fuck, you taught me how to
be the man I am now! "
"Logan—"
"No. There's nothing you can say."
"Rainey—"
Logan advanced, taking my father by surprise when he grabbed the
front of his shirt and pulled him close to his face until they were
nose-to-nose, where he hissed menacingly, "I told you not to look at
her. And don't you dare talk to her." Then he pushed him off and took
the two steps back to me, taking my hand in his immediately and
reaching for the key that was still clutched in my other hand. Over his
shoulder he said, "Lizzy, do you mind taking Rainey's car?" He threw
her the keys without waiting for an answer, then he led me across the
parking lot to his truck, where he put me in the passenger seat without
saying a word before he drove us off. I did nothing but comply, too
shocked, too confused, too emotionally drained to do or say anything.
What the fuck just happened?
We drove in silence for a long time. I was looking out the window

without seeing anything. My mind was too busy trying to come up with
an explanation to focus on anything else. It felt like it went through ten
different scenarios, without any of them making sense. So my mind
kept whirling and whirling, going around in circles but coming up
empty every single time.
"You know that song you sang the other day?" Logan's calm voice
snapped me out of my thoughts.
I frowned and slowly turned my head. It wasn't only his voice that was
calm. He seemed calm, the way he was sitting with one hand on the
wheel and the other on the console, his body relaxed and his face soft.
"What?"
"The song you played with Steve the other day."
I shook my head, not just to clear it, but also to try and understand what
he was asking. And why he was asking it. What song? What was he
talking about? And why the hell was he talking about a stupid song
instead of explaining to me what the fuck just happened?
"The day I kissed you for the first time you played a song with
Steve."
I thought back to that day.
"It was about a waterfall. You like waterfalls?"
What the hell? Did I like waterfalls? What kind of question was
that?
"Logan—" I tried to stop him from asking random, unimportant
questions and demand we talk about the scene with my father, but he
interrupted me.
"You do. I know you do. I could see it on your face when you sang the
words. Your eyes were closed, but I could see every emotion flitting
across your face. It was beautiful. You are beautiful."
"What? Why are you—" He interrupted me again, completely flooring
me with his words.
"It was in that moment I decided to not wait any longer. I was going to
have you, and I was going to make you mine. Mine to cherish, mine to
worship, mine to protect. I decided I was going to be your waterfall, the
one place where you could let go of all your worries, all your pain, all
your troubles, where you could let yourself fall without

drowning, feeling completely safe. I was going to be that waterfall for
you. I thought I was almost there, that I had gained your trust, that you
were letting me be the person I want to be for you. You said you love
me, you leaned on me this morning when you needed someone. You
were opening up to me. I thought I was in."

"

I

—"

"No, Rainey, I need you to not say anything right now. What I need you
to do is hear me, really hear me, hear the words I' m saying to you and
let them sink in." He took my hand and brought it to his lips, brushing
them across my knuckles softly, before he lay it palm down on his thigh
and covered it with his, squeezing gently. "I don't play games. I don't
lie. I don't cheat. I don't take advantage of or betray the people I love.
Not ever. I'm loyal, I'm respectful, I'm blunt. Once I know what I want,
I go after it with single-minded determination. I saw you, and I wanted
you, so I went after you. That day you sang that song I knew I loved
you. I knew you were the woman I want to spend the rest of my life
with, the woman I want to grow old with. So I went on the offensive
and won you. With that first kiss, I claimed you. I made you mine. And
I will do anything and everything it takes to get it through that thick
skull of yours that you're safe with me. Do you understand what I'm
saying?"
"I..." I scrunched up my face. "I think so. I don't know." Right then, I
wasn't sure what to think anymore. The words Logan said were
beautiful, and I wanted to believe every single one of them. I did. I had.
Now, my mind and heart were a confused mess of upside-down and
inside-out thoughts and emotions.
"Do you believe me when I tell you, you are safe with me?"
"I want to," I whispered. My bottom lip was quivering as my emotions
were starting to get the best of me. I wanted to believe him so badly.
"Then do it, Rainey. Trust me. Trust me with you."
I said nothing as I bit my lip, trying to hold back the tears.
Logan pulled over and stopped the truck, but I didn't look away from
his face. His eyes shone with love and sincerity when they met mine
and he asked, "Do you really think I was playing you? After everything
I have told you, after everything we have done, do you really

believe I lied to you the whole time?"
I couldn't. Nobody could pull anything like that off. But it wasn't just
that. I didn't believe Logan would ever do anything like that. He was a
straight-talker. He was honest. He was a good guy. The best I had ever
met. And I loved him. I didn't really believe he had played me. I
couldn't. So I shook my head no as the first of the tears rolled down my
cheek, followed by many more.
"I'm sorry. Seeing you with him...I didn't...I couldn't...It...It
hurt."
He cupped my cheeks with his hands. I leaned into the touch. "My
tough little firecracker is crying an awful lot today." I could hear the
smile in his voice and gave a short, self-reprimanding laugh. "Come
here."
He didn't have to ask me twice. I leaned over the console at the same
time he pulled my face toward him, and I kissed him through my still
falling tears, a soft, loving kiss of apology he accepted without
hesitation.
"We good now?"
"We're good."
"Good." He kissed me again. "Then let's get out of the car and enjoy the
rest of the morning."
I peeked out the window and realized we weren't in the city anymore.
We weren't even in the suburbs. In fact, it looked like we were in the
woods somewhere. How long had we been driving? I must have been
completely zonked out for not noticing.
"Where are we?" I asked as I looked around to figure out where we
were.
"Trap Falls."
I whipped my head around and found him grinning at me.
"You brought me to a waterfall?"
He nodded. "I did. It's a small one, but it's the closest."
The warm feeling of love that was shining in his eyes enveloped me
and settled in my heart. "Thank you, Logan," I whispered before I
kissed him again.
Logan took my hand as we walked along the path that led us to the

small but beautiful waterfall. I had never been here but knew on first
sight of the three plunges, this visit wouldn't be my last. They looked
like a postcard, and the sound of the rushing water immediately helped
ease my mind. Everything would be all right. Logan squeezed my hand
and settled us on one of the rocks right by the water, where we sat in
silence for a few minutes before I couldn't wait any longer and had to
ask the questions that wouldn't stop running around in my mind. I was
leaning against Logan's side, his arm around me, his hand sliding up
and down my arm soothingly while his lips were touching the side of
my head.
"Things are going to be messy, aren't they?"
Logan sighed but didn't stop his soothing and loving. "I'm afraid
they will."
"What are you gonna do?"
"Well, I obviously need to look for a new trainer, maybe even two,
depending on if Pete knew about Jay being your father. If that's the
case, then I'll have to postpone the fight."
I sat up and looked at him. "I would never ask you to do that. To fire
your trainers because I have a problem with them."
"I know, baby. It' s not just that though, is it? I have trusted those men
for years, have looked up to them since I was a teenager. They're part of
my family. Knowing they lied to me about something this big.. .I don' t
know if I can ever trust them again. Jay lying to me about who he is to
you, what he has done, while knowing about my family's story and
pretending to be a person of integrity, I don't think I'll ever want to be
around him again. All his words of wisdom seem empty now." That
made sense. Still, it would be complicated to find a whole new team of
trainers, especially so close to a fight. I was torn about it. I didn't want
to see my father again, and I hated the idea of Logan being with him,
training with him day in and day out, of accidentally running into him
or hearing Logan talk about him, but then again, I didn't want Logan to
have to postpone his fight.
"How...how come you didn't know who he is?" This was the question I
couldn't find an answer to on the hour-long drive, the question that kept
repeating over and over in my head.

"I know who he is. He's Jeremy "The Rapid" Reynolds. Fastest hands
during his time. I've always called him Jay; it's how he introduced
himself to me. I knew he left the circuit and decided to be a trainer after
he lost his title. I also knew he was divorced. But I didn't know the
whys and hows about that, and I didn' t know he had a daughter. I
certainly didn't know and never suspected you're that daughter. Your
last name isn't Reynolds."
"Oh." That explained it. "He made us both take my mom's maiden
name after the divorce."
Logan' s arm around me tightened as he clenched his teeth. "That
would explain why I didn't make the connection. I have to be honest.
My plan was to find that bastard father of yours and kick the shit out of
him for hurting you, and I came really close to doing just that today in
that parking lot, but I would have never imagined he would be someone
so close to me."
I stared at him as the images of him ready to rip my father's head off
flowed through my mind again. He'd been so mad. I had never seen
anyone that furious. And he had been that over me.
"You have to talk to Pete."
He ran his hand through his hair on another sigh. "I know." "Do you,
um, want me to come?"
Logan smirked but shook his head. "That's probably not a good idea.
Jay could be there, and I don't want you to run into him like that again.
Not to mention, I'll be calmer if you're not there. Pete might even
survive with his head still attached to his neck."
"Why will you be calmer without me there?"
"Because, baby, when you're there, my body and mind go into instant
protection mode. Your well-being takes priority over everything else.
And I'll need my head to be as clear as possible for that conversation."
"Wow," was all I could say.
"Yeah. Wow." He placed a soft kiss on my lips.
"We should probably head back."
"Probably."
Neither one of us moved.

"Ten more minutes?"
Logan smiled and pressed a kiss to my forehead. "Ten more minutes."
So we sat arm in arm for ten more minutes before we headed back to
the city to face the music, so to speak.

Chapter 17 Logan
LOGAN DROPPED RAINEY OFF AT work and promised to call
her as soon as he had talked to Pete. It felt good to know she cared
about what was going to happen and was worried for him, though it had
to be tough on her. He could only imagine the torn thoughts and
feelings she had about the whole thing.
He had no idea what was going to happen when he walked into Pete's
office. This whole situation was a mess. While Rainey and he had been
sitting at the waterfall, he had made a mental list of things he needed to
do, the people he might have to call, if he decided to part ways with the
two most important men in his life. The first person on that list was his
mother. He was going to need her advice. She had a knack for laying it
all out for him, for stripping away all the unimportant things and
showing him his options as clearly as possible. She was close to both
Pete and Jay, but she would be objective when it came to him and his
career, as objective as a mother could be. He would love to ask for
Rainey's advice in something as important as his career as well, since it
was a decision that would affect both their lives, but he couldn't put that
on her. It wouldn't be fair.
"Fuck," he swore when he saw Jay's car in the parking lot. He slammed
the truck door behind him and prowled to the gym while at the same
time clenching and unclenching his hands in an attempt to calm his shit
down. But all he could see was Rainey's face; when she told him about
her father; when she doubted she was worth loving; when she saw him
with Jay at the diner. That broken and devastated look in her eyes. He
had told his mother that morning he would never forget it. Now, it was
cemented in his brain, and the reason for it was somewhere in that
building.

He left his bag in the car. There wouldn't be any training happening
today. When he couldn't spot Pete or Jay anywhere, he headed toward
the office. He didn't bother knocking and threw the door wide open
before he stormed in then slammed it shut. Two heads jerked in his
direction and two sets of eyes settled on him. One was full of regret and
sadness mixed with trepidation; the other was full of understanding and
worry, also mixed with trepidation.
Logan cut straight to the chase. "Did you know? Did you know what he
did to his wife and daughter?"
"Now, son, let's sit down and discuss this—"
"Tell me!" Logan roared. He braced his hands on his hips and dropped
his head to his chest, where he closed his eyes and took a few deep
breaths. It wouldn't help if he punched both their lights out before he
got any answers.
"Jay and I go way back. I started training him when he was just a boy,
much like I did you. He moved on with a different trainer when he got
big. I didn't move on with him, because I was happy where I was. We
lost touch after that." Logan's head snapped back up when Pete spoke.
"But yes, I knew about Sarah and Rainey. I knew what happened
between them and about the divorce and everything that went with it. I
knew because Jay told me when he begged me to help him get his life
back together. What I didn't know was the girl who walked in here with
you a few days ago was his daughter. Not until I saw her hit that bag
and you introduced her to me."
Logan wasn't a hundred percent happy with that answer, since it proved
Pete had known about Jay's treatment of his wife and daughter, but he
believed him when he said he hadn't known about Rainey until he met
her.
"But you did, didn't you? You knew whom I was talking about that
night when I told you about the girl I had met. You knew it was her.
That's why you didn't show for days after, isn't it?"
Jay nodded slowly. "I wasn't a hundred percent sure, but I had my
suspicions. I kept my eyes on my wife and daughter, so I knew she
worked at a shelter, just didn't know it was the same shelter you were
volunteering at. When you told me your girl hated boxers, I checked
into

it and worked it out. I've been trying to figure out how to talk to you
since that night. To you and Rainey."
"You son of a bitch." Logan's whisper was low and menacing, full of
disappointment and anger. "What was all that talk about integrity,
about loyalty, about respect for all those years? How can you, someone
who treated the best thing that could ever happen to him like shit,
preach to me about all those things?"
Logan watched as Jay shook his head. "I didn't want you to know what
a fuckup I am. I needed you to look up to me, needed you to believe in
me, so I could believe in myself again. You're right. I treated the only
two people in the world who meant everything to me like shit. I threw
them away. I lost them. But it wasn't because of the reason you
think."
"So you didn't lose it when you lost your title, you didn't drown in
alcohol, yell at your wife, treat her like scum while your daughter could
hear it while she was sitting on the floor in her closet? You didn't cut all
contact with them after the divorce and sign away your parental rights,
effectively abandoning your daughter and making her feel unworthy of
love?"
Logan saw the tears brimming in Jay's eyes, but he didn't give a shit.
Jay didn't deserve his understanding, his pity. "No, I did all that. I hit
rock bottom when Sarah asked for a divorce. I gave it to her and broke
all contact, because I wanted to give them a clean break. They deserved
it. I fucked up, hurt both of them, my precious girls. I couldn't forgive
myself for what I had done and knew that neither would they. So I
ripped out my own heart and walked away."
"How unbelievably self-less of you," Logan spat.
"Cut him some slack, Logan. Jay made mistakes, but he regrets every
single one of them. He had good intentions when he gave them up. You
can't deny that, son, no matter if you agree with his choice or not. You
didn't see him when he lost them. I did. Believe me, he was a broken
man. He still is. He just hides it better."
Logan had nothing to say to that. There had always been a hint of
sadness around Jay, sadness he would cover up with either grumpiness
or mocking and taunting. He'd never asked him about it, had given him
his

privacy, had respected it. So Logan couldn't deny that Jay wasn't a
whole man, that he'd always been somewhat broken.
"Fuck! " he burst out. "What do you expect me to do now, huh?"
"I need your help. I want to talk to Rainey."
Logan laughed an unamused and disbelieving laugh. "You have got to
be shitting me."
Jay held his eyes while he shook his head. "I'm not. I want to talk to her.
I need to explain. And I need to apologize. I don't expect either one of
them to ever forgive me, but the least I can do is apologize."
"I don't think you'd be welcome. And I'm not sure I'd disagree. Let me
be very clear about this, Jay. Rainey is my priority. If I have to choose,
I will not choose you. Hell, it won't even be a choice. It's a given."
"I respect that. I even love you for it. For loving my daughter like that.
For wanting to protect her."
Fuck. There was the man Logan had admired and respected for so
many years. "I can't be on your side on this. I don't even want to be."
"I don't expect you to. I know where you stand and I'm grateful you
do."
"Then you know I won't make her talk to you."
"I know." He nodded.
"Then what do you want from me?"
"Try to ease the way for me. Tell her I want to talk to her. That's
all."
"That's a fucking big favor you're asking, man."
"I promise if she doesn't want to talk to me, if she sends me away and
never wants to see me again, I'll be out of your lives."
Logan thought about it, really thought about it, about what was best for
Rainey. She had been living under the cloud of her father not loving her
for so long, had suffered from it without even really knowing it was
impacting her life. She deserved to know her father hadn't done what he
did because he stopped loving her and her mother. It was himself he
had stopped loving, and as a result, he had made a misguided decision
that had changed all their lives dramatically. Logan wanted her to heal,
wanted her to deal and let that feeling of unworthiness go. And he
wasn't

sure she ever could if she didn't let Jay explain. That was the only
reason why he was going to give in and agree to try and help. Because
he thought Rainey needed it, if she was aware of it or not. He truly
believed that.
"Let me ask you one thing." He waited for Jay's nod before he
continued. "Do you love your daughter?"
"More than anything in the world." His voice was just above a whisper
and broke on the last word. Logan believed him. Emotion like that
couldn' t be faked.
"One more thing. I'm doing this for her, not for you."
Jay nodded his understanding. "Thank you, Logan."
Logan returned the nod. "We're not dragging this out. If you want to
make your move, you need to do it now. Don't let her think too much
about it, don't let her put up her fucking walls. Once she does, you'll
have a hell of a time breaking through."
Logan caught Jay' s smirk. "What?"
"Nothing." He shrugged. "Just sounds like my girl. She was always
stubborn as shit. Made up for it with her cuteness and wit though."
Logan chuckled. "She hasn't changed much then. We're having dinner
at her mom's tonight."
Jay's eyes went wide. "Are you suggesting I talk to her at Sarah's
house? With Sarah there?"
"Son, I don't think that's a good idea," Pete chimed in.
"Pete, he needs to be a man. Rainey isn't the only person he owes an
apology to. I' m looking at this with my woman' s best interests at heart.
And if Jay were my dad, I wouldn't even think of hearing him out
unless he owned up to his mistakes and apologized to my mother first.
Rainey and Sarah have a close bond. You think she's even going to
agree to see him before he talks to Sarah?"
"Fuck," Jay swore. "He's right, Pete. She won't even look at me, least of
all talk to me."
"It's a plan then."
"It's a plan."
"And remember. This goes the way Rainey wants it to go. You will let
her say what she needs to say how she needs to say it. I will not try to

hold her back. I will not side with you on anything. I will not feel for
you. If she decides to forgive you, I will support her in that. If she
thinks she can't, then I'll support her in that too. I'm with her all the way
no matter what she decides to do with you. Got me?"
"I got you, Logan."
"Then let's do this."
Rainey
"Yo, Rainey! You stopping by the gym again soon?" I lifted my head to
find Matt sitting on the couch across from me. I gave him a small smile
and a shrug. I liked the kid. He was the happy-go-lucky type, if a little
cocky from time to time. Always a smile on his face, always a joke on
his lips, he was one of the most popular kids hanging out at the shelter.
He was smart as hell but refused to go to school or even see our tutor.
Maybe I should have a chat with Logan about his training, see if we
could make it a condition for him to agree to a few sessions.
"I'm not sure. Why?"
"I enjoyed watching you kick Jesse's ass the other day." "You did,
didn't you?" "Yes, ma'am."
My smile grew bigger at seeing his grin. "Huh. Wasn't that you who
said he would be looking forward to teaching me a few things as
payback for, what was that? Oh, right. I remember now. For always
being on your ass?"
His grin faltered a little, but the glint in his eyes remained.
"And wasn't that you who looked really relieved when Coach Pete
interfered and you didn't get your shot at me?" I lifted my hands to
make air quotation marks around the word 'shot'.
His grin slipped a little more. "Oh, come on, Rainey. Don't be such a
spoil sport."
"All right, Matt. I'll make you a deal. Next time I'm at the gym, it's you
and me in the ring, sparring. I win, you schedule a session with the
tutor. You win, I'll stop bugging you about wasting your intelligence.

What do you say?"
He narrowed his eyes and studied me. He knew what I was doing. I, a
girl, was challenging him, a guy, in the common room, where everyone
could hear, to a quasi fight in the ring. He couldn't say no. If he did, the
ribbing and teasing would never stop. He knew I knew he couldn't say
no, and he didn't like that. But I also knew he liked me enough to not
get too pissed about it.
"Sneaky. I normally don't like being outsmarted." Then he burst out
laughing. "I suppose I deserved walking right into that one, didn't I?"
"I suppose you did," I said through my now cocky smile.
"You're on. How about tonight?"
"I can't tonight. Dinner plans."
"With the new boyfriend? A certain boxer, maybe, who hangs out here
from time to time? Who's had his eye on you for a while now? Those
kind of dinner plans?" He wiggled his eyebrows at me. Unbelievable,
that kid.
I crossed my arms on top of the guitar I was holding in my lap and
studied him for a few moments. Then I decided, what the heck, they
were going to find out sooner or later anyway.
"As a matter of fact, yes, Matt, exactly those type of dinner plans." I' d
shocked him. I never discussed anything personal with the kids, and if
they asked about or commented on my love life, which, believe it or
not, happened almost on a daily basis, I always gave them a level stare
until they gave up. He hadn't expected me to admit to a dinner date with
Logan, had probably seen an opportunity to get back at me for tricking
him into a tutor session. I'd stumped him, and I was really enjoying it.
"Well, I'll be damned," was all he said.
I uncrossed my arms and went back to softly strumming my guitar. I
had brought it out earlier to center myself. Logan and I had gotten up
too late this morning to go on a run, and with all the emotional ups and
downs I had endured today, I had needed something to settle myself.
Strumming my guitar always worked wonders. As soon as I had
gripped the neck and had played a melody, my mind had gone back to
Logan and the waterfall, and what he had said about me singing that
song. I was still in awe over how well he had been able to read me this
whole time.

"That's all the information you're going to get. So you can stop trying to
come up with another clever comment." "And if I don't."
I kept my eyes on the strings when I shrugged. "Then I won't go easy on
you, and you can use that smart head of yours to come up with excuses
why a girl like me made you cry like a baby."
"Damn, woman," he mumbled under his breath. I smiled to myself.
After a few minutes of nothing from him, I thought he had left, but then
he asked, "How about tomorrow?"
I wondered why he was so eager to get me in the ring. He knew from
watching me sparring with Jesse that he would be the one who would
get taught a few things, and now with the extra embarrassment of
having to see the tutor after he lost, I was curious as to why he kept
pushing.
"What's the rush? You like to get beat on by a girl? " I was teasing him,
of course, but I could sense a weird vibe coming from him all of a
sudden.
He shrugged but said nothing. Even after I stropped my fingers and
made eye contact again, he didn't say another word, just stared back at
me. His easy-go-lucky attitude was nowhere to be found now. The
expression on his face was dead serious and guarded, as if I had hit a
sore spot. I thought back over our conversation and realized what I had
said and what his reaction could mean. I could push, try to make him
talk, but I sensed it would get me nowhere and might even make him
retreat from me. I didn't want that, so I switched our conversation back
to teasing.
"Sorry, Matt. I'm taken. You're gonna have to take it up with my
boyfriend if you want to take me on a date. And he's a scary-ass dude. I
would think twice if I were you."
"Dude?" Matt asked through a chuckle.
"Dude," I answered, glad I had successfully jumped that hurdle. "I'll let
you know when I'll stop by the gym again, okay?"
"Sure," he said. "See ya." Then he got up and left the room.
I started moving my fingers again as I thought about Matt, about what I
knew about him. As with most kids who came here, it wasn't

much. I made a mental note to ask Lizzy about him, then Phil and
Taryn. I was pretty certain now he came from a family of abuse. Most
street kids did, that's why they ran away, so it wasn't a far stretch, but
the circumstances and degrees varied. Matt, I was sure, had been
abused by a female member of his family. A mother, an older sister, an
aunt, or a grandmother. It would be hard to get through to him. His
easy-going attitude was most likely a defence mechanism to divert
people from looking deeper, from asking questions. People who didn't
care enough wouldn't expend the effort, would take his demeanour at
face value. Well, looking deeper was my job. His mask now had a
crack, a crack I intended to carefully turn into a hole, which I could
then use to get a foot in. I smiled and shook my head to myself. It was
almost funny how I had used this same strategy over and over on our
kids, how passionate I was about helping them overcome their
obstacles and have a better outlook on life, yet I had been more guarded
and clamped up than any of them. I was twenty-five years old, and most
of these kids were braver than me when it came to facing their demons.
Look at Ashley. The things that girl had gone through and the things
she still had in front of her: years of therapy, years of trying to figure
out how to move on, and the worst, possibly having to face her abuser
again in court. My daddy issues were nothing compared to that. I'd
been such a hypocrite all these years. Here I'd sat, nudging these kids to
open up, when I'd been the most closed up person myself.
My mind went back to seeing my father this morning. It was time to
face it, to stop being such a coward. Because that's exactly what I had
been. I had been afraid of getting hurt, of not being loved, so I'd
declared myself unworthy. It was easier to deal with being unloved
when you knew you weren't good enough, when you were undeserving.
It sounded completely whacko, but it made total sense in my head. It
was kind of like a self-fulfilled prophecy: I wasn't worthy, hence
nobody could love me for that reason alone, therefore I didn't have to
let anyone close enough and didn't risk falling in love and getting hurt
when I remembered they couldn't love me back. Easy. Stupid. And I
couldn't even blame my father for it. Taking my self-preservation to
that level was all on me. But that was done now. I was going to stop
blaming

myself for other people's choices, for not liking or loving me. Instead, I
was going to put myself out there, open myself up, and hold on to the
people who were close to me, who loved me, and whom I loved back.
Everyone else could go piss against a tree.
And there was one other thing I was going to do: I was going to face my
father. It wouldn't be pretty, it would probably hurt like a bitch, but I
had to do it. I had a few things to say to him, things I needed to get out,
things whose weight had been sitting on my chest, suffocating me,
preventing me from breathing, from living my life. It was time I faced
him and took on my demons head-on, to stop being the snivelling,
sobbing mess I was this morning when I saw him for the first time in
ten years.
"Hey," I heard said from right in front of me. I startled and stopped
playing. Logan was crouching in front of me. "You okay?"
I tilted my head. "I am, actually. You?" I lowered my eyebrows. "You
didn't call me after you talked to Pete."
"I know. I had some things to deal with and some calls to make. And I
wanted to talk to you face-to-face, not explain everything on the phone.
I haven't made a final decision yet. I wanted to talk to you first."
"Okay. But why are you here? Weren't we meeting at my house
anyway?"
"I wanted to pick you up."
"Lizzy drove my car here."
He sighed.
"What?"
"I wanted to tell you in the car, but since you're being stubborn, I'll tell
you now. Not here though. Let's go to your office." He took my hand
and stood up, pulling me up with him, then walked us to my office and
closed the door behind me.
"What's happened now?" I didn't think I could deal with any more
drama today. Tomorrow, I'd be in fit fighting form again, but tonight, I
needed a break. I needed some normalcy, and dinner at my mom's
house was one of the most normal things in my life. I didn't want
anything to spoil that. Not tonight.
Logan leaned against my desk and pulled me in between his legs,

holding me close.
"I talked to Pete. Jay was there too. We talked, after I stopped shouting
and threatening him, that is."
"Oh."
He hesitated, as if he had expected a different reaction from me. "I' m
not going to fall apart every time you mention his name, Logan.
Actually, I've had somewhat of an epiphany just five minutes ago."
His eyebrows went up in surprise and question. "Yeah?"
"Yeah."
"And what was that epiphany about?"
"About needing to face him. I have a few things I want to say to him,
things I' m gonna make him listen to. Not that I expect anything from
him or want anything from him. I need to do this for purely selfish
reasons. I need to tell him what he did to me so I can let it go. I want to
let it go. I want to move on."
I saw pride shine from his eyes as he watched me. "That's good, baby,
excellent, actually, because he's coming to your mother's house tonight.
He wants to talk to you and practically begged me to ask you."
"He's coming to my mom's house?"
Logan nodded.
"Tonight?"
Logan nodded again. "In half an hour." "With my mother there?"
Another nod, this time accompanied by a small smirk I didn't have the
focus to interpret or ask about.
"And Ben?"
"And Ben."
"Does he know about Ben?" Not that I cared about my father's feelings
or anything. I couldn't care less if he was upset about Mom having
moved on from him, but I was curious.
Logan tilted his head in thought. "I'm not sure, actually. I didn't
ask."
"Huh." I wasn't sure what to think of that. I hadn't expected to make
good on my resolve that quickly. And I didn't know how I felt about
him being in the same house as my mother. The last time I had

seen them together, he was shouting at her and treating her like shit.
But Ben would be there, so I knew she'd be all right. He'd kick my
father's ass and throw him out if he so much as dropped one
disrespectful comment. That thought made me smile a little. This was
good, great, actually. I could confront him with my whole family there.
We had backup, my mom and I, backup from our men, our very
protective men. That gave me another thought.
"Does he.. .um.. .have a woman?"
"I've never seen him with one and he's never talked about one. But that
doesn't have to mean anything." Logan's voice was careful.
"So, you're not sure?" This felt a little weird, asking my boyfriend
things about my father.
"He's a very private man. But I think I'd know if he were serious about
anyone."
"Okay. So you'd also know if he had a child, I mean, apart from me?" I
was biting my lip. The thought of him with another son or daughter
stabbed my heart and raised some of my securities about not being
good enough for him. What if he did have another child he did love?
What would that mean for me?
"If you don't want to go, I'll take you home with me. I made it very clear
I' m with you one hundred percent, that whatever you decide, you have
my full support and understanding. This will happen only if you agree."
Logan tried to give me an out, and I loved him for it, even considered it
for a split second, but my mind was made up. "I have to do this. If I
don't do it now, I might chicken out later. And I've been a coward for
long enough."
He roamed my face for a few moments, reading me. I let him. Then he
smiled at me. "That's my girl." He sounded and looked proud, making
me proud of myself as well.
"Let's get this over with." I pulled away from him, but he pulled me
right back.
"I want a hello kiss first."
"Do you now?"
"Oh yeah. I've missed you." He moved closer until our lips almost

touched.
"I'm at work." "Your door is closed." "It has a window."
His eyes moved to look over my shoulder to the window before they
came back to mine. "The blinds are closed." "Well, then, what are you
waiting for?"
He didn't. He moved the last inch that separated us and pressed his lips
to mine, opened his mouth, and found my tongue with his. He pulled
my body into his and kissed me stupid. There was no other word for it,
because my mind went blank. He went deep and he went strong,
tangling his tongue with mine, taking my mouth with his until we were
both breathing hard.
"That's some hello," I breathed when he pulled back.
"I'll say," he agreed through a grin. Then his eyes went serious again.
"Whatever happens tonight, never forget I love you and I'm with you
no matter what, okay?"
"Okay."
"I mean that, Rainey. No doubts. No fear. I'm with you all the way."
I touched his lips with mine, where I whispered, "I got it. And I'm sorry
I doubted you this morning. I should have let you explain instead of
jumping to conclusions and shutting you out." Relief crossed his face
before it split into a wide grin.
"Thank you for that, baby."
"You're welcome." I smiled, then we kissed once again, shorter and
sweeter this time, before I said my good-byes and Logan drove us to
my mom's to face my own personal demon and slay him once and for
all.

Chapter 18 Rainey
DURING THE WHOLE DRIVE TO my mom's, I gave myself an
inner pep talk, psyching myself up, getting in the mood. I didn't
normally have conversations in my head before they happened. I was a
quick thinker and didn't stress about the things that came out of my
mouth. But I did now. Not worry about what was going to happen. But
play out the conversation in my head. I thought about everything I
wanted to say, everything I needed to get off my chest. Different
scenarios of how this could go ran through my head.
"You can still back out." Logan's hand was interlaced with mine like
usual when we were in the car, though this time he'd added a soothing
brush of his thumb along the skin on the inside of my wrist.
"No, I can't."
"You can, baby. No judgment. Just say the word and we're out of
there."
I shook my head. "No, Logan. I told you. I' m done being a coward."
"You're not a coward, Rainey. You're the strongest woman I've ever
met. It's one of the things I love about you," he said with a squeeze of
my hand.
"I'm not, Logan. Ashley is strong, Jesse is strong, Chloe is strong. Me,
I've been running from this for over a decade. And from what? From
my dad being an asshole? He didn't hit me. He didn't touch me. He
drank too much, got loud, and said mean things to my mom. I should
have gotten over it by now."
"You're being too hard on yourself. You forgot to mention he
abandoned both of you without looking back. Made you take your
mother's maiden name, cut you both loose and erased you from his life.

You told me you were close to your dad before. Baby, you were a
teenager. You were confused and felt lonely, abandoned, not good
enough for your own father to love you. It's only natural you shielded
yourself from those emotions to ever hurt you again. Did you cut
yourself off from feeling the good emotions while you protected
yourself from the bad ones? Yes, you did. But you didn't see another
way to cope with the situation, and I don't blame you. Nobody does."
It was nice of him to say those things. His words made me feel good.
But to be honest, I was disappointed in myself, felt like a hypocrite.
That didn't change my attitude towards my father one bit; it just made
me regret I had wasted so much time. But now was not the time to be
angry with myself. Now was the time to face my father. And I was
going to do it with my back straight, my chin up, and the angry heat in
my blood directed at him and nobody else. Logan was right. He alone
was responsible for his behavior, nobody else. He alone was
responsible for how things turned out. He should have been stronger,
should have worked harder to deal with his shit. It was his fault my
mom and I had been alone; it was his fault I had felt lonely when Mom
got sick. All that was on him. He should have been there for us. Instead,
he had chosen the bottle and his anger over being the man I had thought
him to be, the man we had needed him to be. And now was the time to
tell him all this.
When we pulled into my street and got out of the truck, I had hyped
myself up to the point that I now couldn't wait to get to him to give him
a piece of my mind. I had never been so ready to do anything in my
whole life.
"He isn't here yet, so you can slow down."
I turned around to see Logan walk five feet behind me. I hadn't realized
I'd been storming up the sidewalk, leaving him in the dust, so to speak.
"How do you know?"
"I don't see his car." There was a slight smirk playing around his
lips.
"What's funny?"
"Nothing." He shrugged. "I just like you all fired up. Turns me on." His
smirk turned into a heated grin.
He was unbelievable. I rolled my eyes at him but let him take my

hand and pull me into his side when he reached me. That's how we
walked up to my mom and Ben's house, arm in arm, when the front
door opened and Ben greeted us.
"How you doin', Princess?" I flinched slightly as I was reminded of my
father calling me that only a few hours ago. But this was Ben, the man
who had been my surrogate father when my own wasn't there for me,
and in true Ben-fashion, he was making sure I was doing okay. Judging
by the expression on his face, he expected me to either kill someone or
have a nervous breakdown. His eyes looked worried as they scrutinized
my face, then they cleared and he gave me a quick nod before he said,
"Good." He glanced at Logan and repeated his nod though he was still
addressing me. "I'm happy to see you took our advice."
It seemed like a lifetime ago when Ben had opened my eyes about what
type of man he thought Logan to be, though in reality, it had only been
a couple of days. Ben's eyes softened when he took the two of us in,
then he repeated in a tender voice, "Good."
I felt his approval and pride deep in my heart, where it spread and
settled. I really loved Ben. "How's Mom?"
He lifted his chin in the direction of the kitchen as Logan and I walked
through the door he was holding for us. "Go see for yourself," he
answered with a small smile playing around his lips, though I didn't
miss the worry as well as trepidation he was trying to hide. He saw my
look and squeezed my arm. "She's good. She's Sarah." Which told me
he had been given the mom lecture as well.
"Hi, sweetheart. Hello again, Logan." My mom was setting the table as
she looked up to greet us in a cheery voice. "Did you have a good
weekend?"
"It's good to see you again, Sarah. It smells delicious in here." Mom
beamed at him.
"I' m making my famous Chicken Marsala. It's light and heavenly
delicious."
"Sounds great."
I shook my head in both annoyance and amusement at them. Here they
were, talking as if it were just any normal day, seemingly without a care
in the world. I was about to interrupt when I noticed what exactly

my mom was doing.
"Uh, did I miss something? Who else is coming to dinner?"
Mom stopped in the middle of setting a plate down, her hand in mid-air,
and gave Logan a confused look. "You didn't tell her?"
I made the connection, realizing what was going on before Logan could
answer her.
"Oh no. Oh hell, no. Not gonna happen. That man is not going to sit at
this table and eat dinner with us. No way. He's not a friend, and he is
certainly not family."
"Rainey—"
"No, Mom."
We went into stare down. Never before had I won one of these, not
even, or maybe especially, when I was a moody and emotional teenager
with an attitude. I hated arguing with my mom any day, but especially
today, though I was not going to give in on this. No way in hell was I
sitting down to have dinner with him. And neither was she. Logan was
smart and remained quiet; so was Ben. This was between the two of us.
"No," I repeated, holding her stare. "No way." Then, for the first time
ever, my mom looked away first. But it didn't mean what I thought it
did. I realized this when I heard Ben mumble through what sounded
like a smile. "You scare me, love. You don't play fair tonight."
She grinned. "I warned you I wouldn't."
My head whipped back and forth between the two as I tried to figure
out what the hell they were talking about. Then Ben sighed and locked
his eyes on mine.
"Your mom and I are getting married."
My body jerked. "What?"
"I asked your mom to marry me, and she said yes this time. We're
getting married."
Tears were forming in my eyes as I looked from Ben to my mom.
"You're getting married?" I whispered.
She nodded and raised her hand to show off the diamond that was
sitting on her ring finger. I took the two steps that were separating us
and pulled her hand to my face, inspecting the ring, before I met her
eyes. Hers were just as misty as mine when we both threw our arms
around

each other, hugging as tightly as we could. "It's about time," I
whispered into her ear. She squeezed me tighter before she let me go
and cupped my face.
"I know."
We both grinned huge.
"Congratulations, man," I heard Logan say.
"Thanks. I knew I wanted to marry her the first time we met." Ben's
voice was soft and loving before it turned to teasing. "Word of advice,
start wearing Rainey down now. It took me years to get Sarah to say
yes to me."
Mom giggled. I didn't.
"I'm not that patient." At those words coming out of Logan's mouth, my
head whipped toward him.
"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked. Logan stood next to Ben a
few feet away from me, his arms crossed over his chest and his face
serious, his eyes on me.
"It means that I expect you to say yes when I ask you to marry me.
Which will happen sooner than in a few years. A lot sooner."
My eyes went big. He wasn't done.
"In fact, if I have it my way," he tipped his head down, his gaze
pointedly going to my stomach before it locked with mine again, "it
will happen in less than nine months." My body locked in shock. He
did not just say that. He did not just tell my mom and Ben I could be
pregnant. And that he wanted me to be. He was a crazy man.
Completely off the rocker. Nuts.
"What?" My mom gasped before I could form words, before I could
even decide what to think or how to react to his audacity. "You're
pregnant?"
"No," I answered at the same time Logan said, "She might be." My eyes
went to the ceiling. This was not happening. "You knocked my
daughter up?"
My head snapped to the doorway, in the direction that roar had come
from. So did everyone else's. There he stood, my father, the man who
had no business sticking his nose where it didn't belong. I had no idea
how he walked in here without anyone noticing, but right then, I

didn' t care. I had no room to think about it as my annoyance with
Logan shifted and turned into instant fury that was directed solely on
the man glaring at my man.
"It's none of your fucking business, Jay." My hiss was lethal. So was
the expression on my face. I could tell by the flinch that went through
him when his eyes came to me. I took three steps forward until I was
almost nose-to-nose with him. "Nothing that happens in my life is any
of your business, nor will it ever be."
We stood like that for long moments, me glaring at him, fuming, while
he stared back at me with an expression I didn't care to interpret. He
had no right.

"

I

—"

"No," I interrupted him. "You don't get to talk. You said all you needed
to say when you threw us away, when you pretended we didn't exist.
You lost the right to talk or act like the concerned father the day you
signed those papers."
He swallowed as he held my eyes. But he didn't argue, didn't say
anything.
Good.
I could feel Logan at my back, though he didn't touch me. But it felt
good to know he had my back, that he was there if I needed him.
"The only person besides Mom who has any right to treat me like a
daughter is Ben. The man who has been there for us. The man who
stood strong when we needed him. Who loves us. Who takes care of us.
Not the weak man I'm looking at right now, the man who isn't a man,
who chose his drink over his wife and daughter. That man has no right
whatsoever to comment on my life."
"Rainey—" my mom's voice came from right next to me. She was
going to try and calm me down, but there was no way I would let her.
He wanted this confrontation, had asked Logan to talk me into it, so
now he was going to take what I had to dish out before he left again. I
didn't give one single thought to the very complicated situation I found
myself in, what with my father being my boyfriend's trainer. All I could
think of, all that consumed me, was to get that weight off my chest.
"You know I' m right, Mom," I cut her off without taking my eyes

off him. "You know he doesn't deserve to be a part of our lives. You
know it better than anyone else."
"That might be so, baby, but—"
"No," I shook my head without taking my eyes off my father's. "No,
there is no but. He came here to talk, I'll talk." My voice was low now,
and hard, almost dangerous. My body was strung tight, my hands
balled into fists, my heart beating in my throat.
"She's right, Sarah." My father's eyes didn't leave mine either as he
addressed my mother. His voice had gentled with understanding, with
remorse. But I didn't let that penetrate. It didn't matter. His feelings
didn't matter. "I deserve everything she said. Every single word and
more. Let her do what she's gotta do."
I didn't let those words sink in either before I kept laying it out for him.
"You threw us away. We loved you, we adored you, we were your
girls. And you threw us away. Without looking back, without a word.
You cut us out of your life. Threw money at us and never contacted us
again. No birthday cards, no Christmas cards, no calls, no nothing. You
didn't want Mom to be your wife anymore and you made sure I wasn't
your daughter anymore. That was your choice. Yours alone. So don't
you dare waltz in here and think you have the right to do what you're
doing. I don't even know what the fuck it is you think you're doing, but
it doesn't matter, since you don't matter."
I saw the flinch in his eyes he couldn't hide and felt Logan's hand touch
the small of my back, but I kept going. "It hurt. It broke us. But we
moved on. We're happy now. Mom and Ben are getting married." This
flinch he could hide even less and it showed not just in his eyes but on
his face. It might make me catty, but I felt something close to triumph
at seeing the pain that information caused him. Good. "That's right," I
whispered. "And I have Logan. We're happy. We don't need you. There
was a time when I wished you'd come back, when I lay in bed at night
and prayed you'd be there in the morning to make me pancakes before
you took me to school or to the gym. But you never did. Then I realized
you never would and I started to hate you." At this, his eyes closed and
his face turned into a grimace. That should make me feel good, but
instead, it stabbed my heart. When he opened them again, I could see

tears brimming in them, causing my gut to clench. But I powered
through that feeling and gave him the rest. "I've let that hate control me
for long enough. Now, I don't care. Now, you don't matter."
The silence in the room was heavy when I finished. Nobody said a
word, nobody moved, as my father held my eyes, his pained but gentle
on me. It went on until my father broke it on a tortured whisper. "I saw
you."
My brows knitted at those unexpected and confusing words. But before
I could ask what he meant or decide if I even wanted to know, he kept
talking. "Not long after you moved into your house, I saw you with
your mom. I.. .I missed you. So much. I.. .I wanted you back." My body
rocked back at hearing those words. Logan was there and moved his
hand from my back to around my waist and pulled me to his chest. My
father watched this and a small, proud smile played at his lips for a
moment before he focused on me again and continued. "I knew I'd
fucked up huge, but I wanted you back. I hated myself for what I had
done. Every single second of every single fucking day, I hated myself
for hurting the two most precious things in my life." My body rocked
back once more, but this time it had nowhere to go. Logan's arms
tightened around my waist and stayed tight, anchoring me to him. "It
took me a while, too long, but I did come back, Rainey."
I shook my head in desperation and disbelief. No. That couldn't be true.
He didn't come back. Mom would have told me. My eyes found her, but
the question died on my lips when I saw that she too was looking at my
father in shock. "You didn't see me. Neither did your mom." My father
swallowed and took a deep breath before he continued, as if he needed
to gather his strength to move on. "I was sitting in the car on the curb,
giving myself a pep talk, when you walked out of your house. You
weren't alone."
I cast my mind back to the time just after we had moved into the house.
It had been almost a year after Mom and I had moved out of the house
we'd shared with him. I hadn't been in a good place, was moody and
bitchy, angry at the world. We had been new to this neighbourhood,
didn't know anyone. A fresh start was what Mom had said we'd needed.
So the only person who could have been with us back then was Ben. At

first, I didn't like Ben. At all. But then again, I didn't like anyone, least
of all myself. So I'd made everyone's life around me a living hell. But
Ben hadn't been affected by my constant sourly mood, had been
understanding and laid back with me most of the time, gave me wise
but firm words when I needed them other times, and had broken
through my wall of misery fairly quickly, mostly because he made my
mom laugh again.
My father's eyes flickering to Ben for a moment confirmed my
thoughts, as did his next words. "Ben was with you. And the three of
you were laughing. Ben had his arm around your shoulder and you
were laughing. You looked happy. It was in that moment when I
realized that I was too late. That I had truly lost you. So I gave you what
I thought you needed and what I have to admit, I needed. A clean
break."
"A clean break," came from my lip in an astonished whisper.
My father nodded. "I thought that would be best. I had behaved like an
asshole, drove you away, didn't fight for you, for us. I knew I
disappointed and hurt you both so much, it would be hard for me to win
you back. And when I saw you with Ben, I wanted to give you what
you needed. But, Rainey, it wasn't me throwing you away. It was me
removing myself from your life so you could start fresh."
"That's the stupidest thing I have ever heard." Yes, that's what I said. It
was what I felt. Did he really think not having him in our lives would be
best for us?
"I know that now. I've known that for a while. And believe me, I've
lived in hell every day in the past decade, knowing I lost you."
"Let me guess. You were too weak to face us, even though you knew
you made a mistake." I couldn't help it. I wasn't ready to give in to the
compassion I knew I was feeling, needing to hold on to the anger a little
longer.
"I was," he agreed. "But would you have talked to me?"
I shook my head. We all knew I wouldn't have. Still. "That shouldn't
have mattered. You should have tried until you were blue in the face."
"You're absolutely right. I should have. And I'm so sorry, baby girl. So
very sorry. For everything I've done. And everything I didn't do.

Every word you said to me is the truth. I don't deserve to be a part of
your life. I threw that right away, but I didn't do it lightly, and I didn't
do it without looking back. I never got that close again, but I kept tabs."
Hearing him apologize felt good. I hadn't known I needed those words
from him, didn't think I'd ever get them, but hearing them felt like a
balm on my soul.
"You kept tabs?" I didn't give him my forgiveness, but I knew he knew
I was giving him something when he closed his eyes in relief for a
moment when he heard the hope in my voice. Logan heard it too and
felt it when my body relaxed against his, causing his to relax with mine.
He nodded. "Went to your high school graduation. Your college
graduation. Knew what you did for living. You didn't see me, but I saw
you. Not often, but I did."
"That doesn't sound like a clean break," I muttered.
He didn' t answer verbally, but shook his head while his face remained
serious.
Then he said in a quiet but hopeful voice, "I know it's a lot to ask, and I
won't expect you, either of you, to forgive me for what I've done, but I
would like to be a part of your life again, an active part, however you
may take me." His voice broke on the last word. It was hard to witness
and even harder to hold on to any of the fury that had burned my insides
only minutes before.
"You've missed a lot. I'm not the same girl I used to be."
That made him smile. "Princess, if what I've heard from Logan is any
indication, you're even more magnificent now, and I couldn't be
prouder."
I flinched at him calling me Princess, but I didn't lash out. I let it run
through me. It still hurt, but it didn't destroy me like it had this morning.
Then something occurred to me and I had to know. Somehow his
answer to the question that was sitting heavy on my heart was more
important than any other. He'd kept tabs. "Did you know Mom was
sick?" My voice was little more than a whisper. I knew if his answer
was yes, I wouldn't be able to ever forgive him. If he had known and
chose to leave us to our fate without offering his support, I wouldn't be
able to accept him back into my life. Ever.

My breath left me and relieved tears filled my eyes at witnessing his
eyebrows scrunched together then his eyes widen in concern on Mom.
"You were sick?"
I looked beside me and saw Ben holding Mom much like Logan was
holding me. Her cheeks were red and tears were streaming down her
face as she nodded. She'd been crying for a while.
"How sick?" My father asked.
"Very sick. Cancer."
It was my father' s body that rocked back in shock this time. He studied
her with tortured eyes before he whispered, "I didn't know. I'm so sorry.
I didn't know." He sounded lost. Nobody said anything as we all gave
him a minute to collect himself. When he did, he asked, "But you're
okay now?"
My tears fell right along with Mom's when she shook her head no and
said, "I was. Now I'm not. But I will be."
A tortured "Sarah," was all he said. It was all he needed to say, all he
could say. It was written all over him. The guilt, the self-hatred, the
remorse, the devastation. And witnessing that, I couldn't hold on to any
of the anger that had burned in me for so long. Watching my father's
reaction to the news of my mother's illness, knowing he would have
come back if he had known, I let it go. All of it. And for the first time in
over a decade, I took a clean breath, feeling it all the way down to my
soul.
"We will be okay." The meaning of my words was clear. I knew this
when my father's eyes met mine once more, this time with gratitude
and love. We looked at each other for long, emotional moments until
Ben broke the silence.
"I don't know about you, but I need a drink. Who's in?"
"Fuck yeah," Logan agreed.
"A beer would be good if you've got one," my father chimed in.
"Definitely." That was me.
"I bought champagne to celebrate. It's in the fridge, honey," Mom told
Ben.
Logan and Ben moved toward the fridge to get drinks, giving us a
moment, while Mom and I stayed where we were, and so did my father.

"I'm glad you're back," Mom said when she went in for a hug. He held
her tight and closed his eyes. "Me too, Sarah. Me too." She leaned back
but kept her hands on his shoulders. "We'll talk. But for now, let's enjoy
the moment with a drink and some food." Then she kissed his cheek
and went to set the food on the table.
"Can I ask for a hug from my daughter?" His question was tentative and
unsure. I slowly nodded and less than a second later, I was in his arms.
"I'm so sorry, baby girl. So fucking sorry," he whispered brokenly in
my ear.
"I know, daddy," I breathed.
His arms convulsed around me, squeezing the breath out of me. Then
he let me go and raised his hand to cup my cheek. "Thank you,
Princess."
"Jay, beer." Logan handed my dad the bottle, then held out a can to me.
"Here's your soda, baby."
I narrowed my eyes at the drink in his hand. "I don't want a soda. I
asked for a beer."
"That might be so, but you aren't having one."
"And why is that exactly?"
He raised his eyebrows, looked down at my stomach then back up
again, and gave me a smirk. "Can't be too careful."
He had to be shitting me. "Logan! I am not pregnant!" "You don't know
that."
"Well, you don't know if I am for sure either. And you let me drink
wine the other night! "
He ignored the last part and focused on the first, repeating himself.
"Like I said, can't be too careful." He was still grinning at me.
Ugh! I had just endured the biggest drama imaginable. I needed a drink.
"Baby, you can't—" I didn't get to finish my sentence, seeing as Logan'
s mouth was hard on mine and his tongue was going deep. I was so
surprised all I could do was hold on to his arms as he devoured me.
Holy crap!
When he let me go, he leaned his forehead against mine. "You just
called me 'baby'."
My surprise and, I have to be honest, desire, turned into instant

irritation. "I already told you I love you. I didn't think a 'baby' would
elicit such a reaction. What if I call you pumpkin, or darling, or
munchkin, or some shit like that? You gonna stick your tongue down
my throat in front of my family then too?" "You are such a smartass."
"As if you don't like it," I mumbled while glaring at him.
"I do. And to answer your question, yes, I will absolutely stick my
tongue down your throat in front of your family, my family, hell, the
Pope if the fancy strikes me. And you'll love every second of it."
"You wish."
"I know." He grinned. Then his grin turned into a soft smile and he said
gently but proudly, "I'm so fucking proud of you, Rainey."
My irritation was swept clean away, and I melted into him, which
earned me another kiss, soft and gentle this time.
"Now, take your soda and sit down so we can eat." I threw a mock glare
over my shoulder after he turned me toward the table and gave me a not
so gentle slap on my ass.
Ben and my dad chuckled, while my mom laughed softly.
"Still feisty, I see." My eyes flew to my dad and turned from a glare to
smiling at seeing the pride and love in his.
"Oh, you have no idea," came from Ben. "It's mostly amusing. Though,
be glad you missed the tail end of her teenage years."
I rolled my eyes to the ceiling then focused on my still laughing
mother. "Feed me before I kill someone."
"See? Amusing."
Ugh!
That caused more laughter. I ignored them all and sat down, then
loaded up my plate the second Mom put down the bowls. But the
second I felt Logan's hand squeezing my thigh and his mouth whisper,
"I love you," at my ear, I forgot everything else and enjoyed our first
real family dinner in a decade.

Chapter 19 Logan
WAITING WAS NOT ONE OF RAINEY'S strengths.
She got up for the tenth time in the last hour and anxiously started
pacing back and forth in the small waiting room.
"Rainey, come sit down," he said in a calm and soothing voice after
about two minutes of watching her. Her eyes flew to him.
For the past ten days, she'd been nothing but strong for her mother, had
been optimistic, upbeat, had played her game of pretending life was
going on as if nothing happened without complaint. On the outside at
least. At night, when they settled on the couch in front of the TV or
were in bed, he could tell her mind was constantly whirring with worry.
At first, she'd tried to downplay it, but it only took one reminder for her
to remember he was her safe haven. From then on, she'd been nothing
but real with him, no matter her mood or the situation. He loved that
she shared that with him, that she felt safe enough to rely on him and
trust him with all her feelings, though he didn't like the cause behind
them. His woman was stressed, and right now, there wasn't much he
could do about it other than try to soothe her and make sure she knew
he was there for her, which she did.
Rainey was a fighter, like him. She had proven that numerous times
through the last very busy week and a half.
First off had been his mother. The morning after the big blowout at
Sarah and Ben's house, his Mom had called and requested them over
for dinner the next night.
"Let me check with my girl, Mom. We had a busy night last night."
Logan heard Rainey giggle. They were still in bed, and it had indeed
been a busy night, though that wasn't what he'd meant. She tilted her
head on his naked and now slightly shaking chest and smiled up at him.

He grinned down at her, reading her thoughts, then squeezed her
equally naked hip where his hand was resting.
"Mom wants us over for dinner. Does tomorrow night work for you?"
She shrugged. "Sure. I don't have another night shift until Friday."
Logan didn't like the thought of her working night shifts. The shelter
was in a bad part of the city, not the worst, thank god, but bad enough.
There was always a male staff member on at night, mostly Jimmy, but
Logan still didn't like it. But he respected Rainey's job and wouldn't
bring it up. Instead, he was going to ask Taryn to be scheduled to share
Rainey's night shifts with her. They were always low on men working
at the shelter. He was sure she wouldn't pass up the opportunity. And if
she did, he'd just make sure he spent as much of that evening and every
other evening she was on with her at the shelter like he had the last time
when he'd brought pizza and they'd watched a movie with the kids.
"Tomorrow night works, Mom."
"Great, honey, I can't wait." She paused for a moment, then asked,
"How is she doing?"
Logan sighed. That was a really good question. A lot had happened
yesterday. The drama at the diner, the heart-to-heart at the waterfall,
the cathartic confrontation with her father, her mom's wedding
announcement, and the first dinner with her mother and father at the
same table in a decade. His girl had been through the emotional wringer
in the span of twelve hours. Logan had to make sure she was all right,
had to keep his finger on her pulse, but he didn't want to push her last
night. She'd had enough and needed time to digest everything.
"She's fine, Mom. It was a rough day for her, but everything is going to
be all right. I'll make sure of it." Rainey squeezed his middle at hearing
his words, which he returned. He also added a kiss to the top of her
head.
"Of course, she had a rough day. She found out her mom is so sick she
needs surgery. That's not something you deal with easily."
Logan sighed again. "That's not it, Mom. At least not all of it." He
hadn't had time yesterday to fill her in about Jay being Rainey's father.
She wouldn't like it. Not Rainey being Jay's daughter, but what he had

done and how he had kept it a secret. His mom considered Jay and Pete
part of their little family, as did he, and she wouldn't condone behavior
like that. She would especially hate the fact Jay had abandoned his
daughter. It would open up old wounds, and she would act on the
emotions that caused. But there was nothing he could do about it. He
had to tell her.
"Rainey and I found out yesterday that Jay is Rainey's dad, Mom."
He heard her gasp at the other end of the line. "What?"
Then Logan proceeded in telling his mother about everything that
happened yesterday while he held his girl firm in his arms. Rainey
stayed quiet and mostly relaxed as she lay pressed into his side while
she listened. His mother didn't. Stay quiet, that is. First she was
shocked and upset for Rainey, which then turned into outrage and flat
out anger, for Rainey as well as for him, and probably for herself as
well.
"You are kidding me," she said after Logan finished. Her voice was
practically vibrating, that's how mad she was.
"I'm not, Mom."
"I hope he'll exhaust himself trying to make it up to his daughter. He
better work his ass off." She was close to shouting now. Rainey tilted
her head back to catch his eyes, then raised her eyebrows in question.
She'd heard.
"He will have to if he wants her back for good. And if he doesn't, it's his
loss. And by saying that I don't just mean Rainey."
There was a pause filled with heavy silence. Then, "You'll drop him if
he doesn't make things right?"
"Absolutely." There was no hesitation in his answer. Rainey raised her
torso off of his and supported her weight on her elbow while keeping
her other hand on his chest. Her eyes were now serious and worried on
him. Conflicted. He softened his and leaned forward to kiss her
forehead reassuringly. He didn't think it would come to that. Jay had
been genuine when he'd confronted him and then again last night when
Rainey did. Logan had no doubt he would do anything in his power and
more to be the father he had once been, the father he wanted to be
again, the father he had been to Logan for years.
His mother knew what he meant.

She was silent again for a moment before she said, "I need you to give
me Rainey's mom's number. I want them over tomorrow night as well.
We're a family now, and family supports each other always, but
especially in difficult times."
God, he loved his mom.
"I'll text it to you."
"Good. Now I' m off to kick a certain someone's ass. You can expect
him to show at the gym with his tail tucked between his legs." That was
all she gave him before she hung up. Logan chuckled as he hit the end
button then dropped his phone on the nightstand.
"What's funny?" Rainey asked.
"Jay is gonna get an interesting wakeup call this morning." He was still
chuckling as he imagined what would go down when his mom got his
hands on him. He was proud of her, proud of being her son. She wasn't
going to bust Jay's balls for herself; she was doing it for Rainey. And he
couldn't be prouder.
Rainey's eyes grew big. "Your mom?" She seemed confused.
"Yeah, baby. My mom is on her way to Jay's right now. She's all fired
up to kick his ass for you."
"She is?"
He pulled her on top of his chest and held her close. "Yeah."
"For me?"
"Of course, baby. You're mine, which means you're hers. Where do you
think I learned to be so protective?" That earned me a grin and a soft lip
touch. I liked this soft version of my little firecracker. Just like I loved
every other version of her.
"I think I love your mom already."
"There's lots to love."
"We need to get our moms together. They would definitely hit it
off."
Logan smiled. "Well, my mom's ahead of you there. She's gonna invite
Sarah and Ben over tomorrow night." "Wow. She's fast."
"You have no idea. She's hell on wheels when she's on a mission,
especially when someone she cares about needs her help and support.

You might not know it or you might not like it, but you and your mom
are her new mission."
"I like it. I don't really know what to do with it, but I like it."
"Good, baby." He pressed a soft kiss to her lips.
"Now, as much as I would like to be naked in bed with you all day, I' ve
got to get to work."
"That's a shame," he murmured as his eyes stayed glued to her lips.
"Logan." Her voice was amused but firm. "We don't have time."
"Not even for a quickie?"
She scrunched her face in contemplation. It was cute and deserved a
kiss on the nose, so he delivered.
"We've never really had a quickie, so I can't answer that question."
"Challenge accepted." He rolled her so he was on top, then he
commenced in proving to her that there was always enough time for a
quickie.
In the end, she was running only ten minutes late.
w w w
The dinner had been nothing short of a family affair. From the moment
they had walked through the door, his mom had literally welcomed his
girl and her family with open arms, just like he knew she would.
"Rainey, dear, it's so nice to see you again." Rainey was in his mom's
arms, and this time, she was less awkward around her and hugged her
back. Could be because she was dressed in more than underwear and
his tee and didn't have sex hair.
"Thank you, Rita. It's nice to see you too."
"How are you doing?" She scrutinized her with mom eyes, which
softened and grew understanding when she said, "Don't you worry,
honey. We've got this." Then she gave her one more squeeze before she
moved on to introduce herself to and hug Sarah and then Ben. They
took it in stride and seemed amused by his mother's enthusiasm and
touched by her open affection and support.

Rainey was somewhat quiet at first and didn't quite seem to know how
to behave around his mother. Logan knew she was embarrassed by
their first encounter. He understood why, but she would soon learn that
there was no need.
After drinks were handed out, she and Sarah helped his mom in the
kitchen with final preparations, and after about two minutes, he could
tell Sarah and his mom had struck up a conversation as if they'd known
each other for years, which in return made Rainey relax as well.
"It's quite fun to watch." This came from Ben, who was sitting in the
chair across from him in the living room.
"What is?"
"Rainey being all timid and a little awkward. I'm enjoying myself."
Logan chuckled. He loved the relationship Ben had with Rainey. He
really was like a father for her, caring for her, worrying about her,
making sure she was all right. Add the teasing and loving ribbing they
had constantly going on, and their relationship was something out of a
movie. Logan was glad and grateful Rainey had had him when she'd
needed a father figure. She couldn't have asked for better. He just
hoped that relationship wouldn't change now that Jay was back in the
picture.
"How are you dealing with all of this?" He didn't know the guy that
well yet, but he felt like he had to ask. Both for him and for Rainey.
Ben studied him for a second and read his question for what it was. "If
you mean the Jay situation, then you don't need to worry. All I want is
for my girls to be happy. Sarah and I have always been clear that if
Rainey's father ever entered her life again, we would support her any
way we could. We both have always known that this was really what
she needed, even if she herself wouldn't admit it or even entertain the
idea of ever speaking to him again. Sarah has tried to talk to her about
her father over the years, but she always shut her down. I'm not happy
about how it came about, but I am happy she is finally dealing with all
the anger and hurt she kept locked up inside of her for all these years.
Her and my relationship will not change because her father has come
back and wants to be a part of her life. I love her as if she were my own.
As far as I'm concerned, she is my daughter. And it's a delight to see her
happy and in love now that she's finally dealing with things and starting
to put them to

rest. And I think we've got you to thank for that."
And there it was. Ben knew exactly what Logan was getting at and had
gotten straight to the point. He was a good man and loved his girls, no
doubt about it. It felt good to hear Ben and Sarah felt grateful toward
him for taking care of Rainey, but it was unnecessary. It's what he was
put on this earth to do. So he ignored that part and addressed the rest.
"Thanks, man. I had a feeling you wouldn't treat her any differently, but
I had to make sure."
"Of course, you did."
They understood each other.
Over dinner, the three women had started to bond. Sarah and his mom
made lunch plans for the next day and asked Rainey to join as well.
"No can do, Mom. Lunches are mine," Logan intervened before Rainey
could answer.
He had to bite back a smile when Rainey's head whipped around and he
saw her raised eyebrows. "Lunches are yours?"
"They are."
"I don't remember discussing this." "Nothing to discuss."
"Huh," she said, but he knew she was holding back. He bit his tongue
so as not to burst out laughing. God, she was cute when she was pissed.
Not that he would ever tell her that.
He heard Ben's low chuckle and saw Sarah's amused smile. He also
saw Rainey glaring at them both, which had him biting his tongue even
harder.
"Ignore him, Rainey," his mother stated.
"Oh, I am," she replied.
Logan moved his hand on Rainey's thigh a little higher and squeezed as
he leaned over to whisper in her ear, "Keep it up, firecracker. It'll make
tonight more interesting." He saw her shudder and smiled. She
pretended to ignore him and said, "Where are we going for lunch?"
addressing their moms.
Game on, baby.
And so last week had gone on with a couple of lunch dates and dinner
get-togethers while the women were bonding. Logan couldn't be

happier about Rainey and Sarah getting close to his mother. It didn't
matter that Rainey and he had only been together for such a short time.
Everyone in their circle knew what lay in their future, so they wasted
no time in becoming a family. Which also included Jay.
Jay was already close to his mother, even though, she wasn't too happy
with him right now and let him feel it. There'd always been playful
bickering going on between those two, but after she reamed his ass,
things had become a little intense. He couldn't say he liked the looks he'
d caught, neither the ones Jay threw his mother when he thought
nobody was looking, nor the other way around, but he had too much
going on right now to worry about it. They were adults; they'd figure it
out.
Logan had to give it to Jay. He was making a solid effort to get to know
his daughter and be a part of her life. Not only did he text her and call
her daily since the day he came back into her life, he also gave her time
when she got a workout in at the gym, either by herself or with Logan.
She still went on her runs, but instead of doing that every morning, she
switched it up and alternated her days between running and hitting the
bag or sparring. Logan was proud of Rainey. Even though the
confrontation with her father had worked out better than anyone could
have imagined, things between her and Jay were still strained. Yes, she
understood now that Jay had never stopped loving her and regretted
acting stupidly, even if he thought he was doing it in their best interest.
But understanding and forgiving were two different things, so she was
still holding back big chunks of herself from her father, though she was
trying.
The first time she had given up her morning run in favor of a workout
with him had been three days after the big blowout, which had also
been the first time she'd seen her father since then. They'd walked in
together hand in hand when she'd spotted her father and her hand had
tensed in his.
Her gave her a squeeze in return and said in a low voice, "You okay?"
"Yeah," she said. "It's just... It's still weird to see him."

He stopped her and pulled her close so they stood in a close huddle and
nobody could hear what they were saying.
"I know this is hard for you, baby. I can't even imagine. If it's too
much—"
She sighed. "No, I can handle it. It's just awkward, you know? Tense. I
don't know how to be around him."
"It'll take time. Give yourself that time. Nobody expects you to pretend
like nothing happened. There's a lot for you guys to work through."
"I.. .Logan, I don't know if I can ever trust him again. I'm trying to show
compassion, but it's really hard."
"Of course, it is. He hurt you. Badly. So badly it fundamentally
changed how you lived your life. Trust is something that is earned. And
once it's lost, it's even harder to win back. Jay knows this. Don't stress
yourself out. This is all on Jay. He's the one who'll have to work for it,
not you. You just be you, the little firecracker I know and love. Okay?"
"Okay." She didn't sound convinced, but it's all he could expect. He
wouldn't push it. She was doing her best and that was all anyone could
ask of her. Hell, even if she didn't, she'd be in her right.
He led them over to the warm up area, where they started on the
skipping ropes. She even skipped rope like a boxer. She kept up with
him for the first two rounds of five minutes, but then had to give up
after three minutes into the third round. Still, he was impressed. She'd
even been able to keep up not just with the basic two feet jump, but also
with the side to side and even the criss-cross hand jump, though she
couldn't do as many before she went back to the basic one. Jay had
come over and watched as they started hitting the heavy bag side by
side. At first, he had just watched, but after about five minutes, he
started to calmly correct Rainey's positioning. Logan saw her tense at
first. Jay saw it too but didn' t comment on or react to it. Then Rainey
relaxed and took her father' s words in and adjusted accordingly while
she kept hitting the bag.
When it was time for Logan to head over to the ring, Jay said, "Today is
slip rope training day. You up for it, Rainey?"
Her eyes slid to her father while she was taking a drink from her water
bottle. She kept studying him quietly but intensely after she was

done. Jay waited patiently and held her eyes. Logan could see that
something was communicated between the two, so he didn't intervene.
As much as he wanted to jump in and rescue his girl when she was
having a hard time, he knew he had to hold back and let them work it
out. But he stayed standing next to Rainey, giving her his silent support
while at the same time reminding Jay of his priorities. Then she made
up her mind and lifted her chin.
"All right," she said.
Jay looked relieved and grateful; and proud. Yes, something had been
communicated between the two. Something important. Something
Logan understood when Rainey stepped into the ring with him and they
started shadowing each other, something he remembered from her first
visit to the gym. She was good, really good. A little rusty, but still very
quick and agile on her feet. She was actually giving him a run for his
money. Her smaller body size gave her an advantage, but he wouldn't
use that as an excuse.
"Fuck, baby. Is there anything you're not good at?"
She smirked and moved underneath the rope again, never taking her
eyes off him, keeping her focus during her one-two punch before she
moved again. She was incredible.
"She's always been good at this. Even gave me a run for my money
back in the day."
Logan stopped and straightened. "No shit?"
"No shit."
"You? She gave The Rapid a run for his money?"
"At the slip rope, she did." There was pride in his voice. Pride and love.
And there it was. The reason behind their silent communication.
Logan looked back at Rainey and raised an eyebrow. "You holding out
on me?"
She shrugged. "Some women like to be mysterious."
He laughed and went back into position, relieved she felt relaxed and
comfortable enough to crack jokes. "Bring it on, my mysterious little
firecracker."
After that day, Rainey had relaxed somewhat when she was around Jay,
though like he said, she was still holding back from him. But with

every text, every phone call, every time her father gave her his
attention, those parts she was holding back began to shrink. The
progress was slow, but at least there was progress.
w w w
"Rainey, come sit down," Logan calmly repeated his request.
When she got close, he reached out and took her hand, pulling her into
his lap and holding her close.
This waiting game was hard for her.
"Not long now, baby. It's almost over."
Rainey nodded into his neck but didn't respond.
The doctor had told them the surgery would take somewhere between
sixty to ninety minutes, and they'd been waiting for about an hour, so
they should be done soon.
Logan scanned the waiting room. Everyone was here. Ben's eyes were
warm and concerned on Rainey most of the time. On the outside, he
exuded confidence and reassurance, though Logan could see the worry
at the back of his eyes. But he stayed strong for his girls, just like Logan
knew he would.
Jay was here as well, sitting in a chair against the other wall. Things
between him and Sarah weren't entirely easy, but it seemed like his
ex-wife had forgiven him for the most part. She had moved on and was
happy with Ben. She was such a kind-hearted and compassionate
woman, she wanted everyone around her to be happy too, including
Jay, so she didn't give him a hard time and pretty much welcomed him
back into her life, just in a different role than he held before. Logan
knew Jay was still in love with her, but he also knew that he would
never make a move on her, out of respect for Sarah as well as his
daughter. He wouldn't risk losing them ever again. Logan studied him.
Apart from being worried, he seemed reflective. Logan could only
imagine what must be going through his head. He knew it couldn't be
easy for him to be here, but he'd insisted on coming and supporting
them, which Logan knew Rainey had been grateful for, even if she
didn't fully communicate

that to her father.
And last, Logan's mom was sitting next to him, giving moral support to
his woman as well as her new best friend.
If all went well, Sarah would be released after the weekend. Her
recovery would be slow and painful and would take up to six weeks.
Since Ben worked from home, she wouldn't be alone, and during the
times he had to take client meetings, Rainey or his mom would stay at
their house to make sure Sarah had everything she needed and was
looked after.
Logan soothingly ran his hand up and down Rainey's back when the
door to the waiting room opened and the doctor walked in. The next
moment, both Rainey and Ben were up and walking toward him, with
Logan following close behind. The doctor didn't make them wait and
gave them the news.
"Ms. Miller's surgery went well. Very well. We didn't come across any
complications. Everything went smoothly and she is now in recovery."
Logan stood behind Rainey when she sagged in relief. He stepped
beside her and pulled her into him when the doctor continued. "She'll
need about twenty minutes to wake up before she can be moved to her
room. Then she'll need her rest. Like I told you before the surgery,
she'll be in a fair amount of pain once the anaesthesia wears off, but I'll
let you visit with her for a little while."
"Thank you, doctor," Ben said when the doctor was done.
"My pleasure," he replied on a chin lift and a smile. "I'll send a nurse to
get you when you can go in." Then he turned around and walked out of
the waiting room.
Rainey leaned into him and wrapped her arms around his waist. He
pressed his lips to the side of her head and kissed her softly.
"She's okay," she whispered.
"Yeah, baby."
She tipped her head back and looked at him with tears in her eyes. "It
went well. She'll be okay."
Logan pulled her to his front and tightened his hold on her. "Yeah," he
repeated. Then his eyes went over her shoulder and he turned her in his
arms and into Ben's, who was standing close.

"Ben," he heard Rainey whisper as they hugged each other tightly. Ben
closed his eyes as he held her, relief clear on his face. "It's over,
Princess. It's over."
Logan gave them their moment and turned to his mother and Jay, who
stood arm in arm and looked equally relieved.
w w w
That night when they lay in bed, Rainey snuggled into his side, her
hand resting on his chest, where she was drawing mindless circles, and
said, "The self-defense class starts this Saturday.
"It does," Logan replied. He was staring at the dark ceiling while he
enjoyed holding his woman.
There'd been a lot of interest once they had shared with the girls at the
shelter. They'd have a full first session.
"Do you think Ashley will come?"
He gave her a small squeeze. "I hope so, baby. But if she doesn't, we'll
try to get her in the next one. She's still a little banged up."
Rainey had checked in with Ashley almost daily since she moved in
with Jesse and Chloe's foster mom. She was doing okay, better than he
had anticipated, to be honest, though she was still shy and timid around
him and any other man. Jesse was great with her. Gentle and caring;
and protective, of course. He'd tried to talk her into coming to the class
with Chloe, but hadn't been successful. He'd even brought her to the
gym one afternoon when Rainey was there as well, to watch him train
and introduce her to the guys so she could get familiar with them and
the environment, but she'd been uncomfortable and had stuck close to
Rainey the whole time. Logan didn't blame her. She'd been violated
less than two weeks ago, so having big and strong men she didn't know
touch her would still frighten her, even if it was in a safe and controlled
environment and served the purpose of teaching her how to defend
herself. Her trauma was still fresh. And he hadn't been lying. She was
still banged up. One side of her face was still slightly blue, though the
swelling was completely gone, and her ribs still seemed to give her

problems from time to time. He could tell by the way she moved. So he
didn' t blame her at all for needing more time. She trusted Jesse, but it
was too early for her to go there.
Bobby was going whole hog with her case. Once she'd learned the
ordeal Ashley had been through—and Logan didn't know everything,
but he knew enough to want to rip Ashley's father apart limb from limb
every time he saw her or thought about her—she had stopped at
nothing to get the bastard arrested. She'd been successful, though he
was now out on bail until his hearing. Which meant Ashley was never
left alone, not even at home. When Jesse couldn't be with her after
school—Ashley had transferred to Jesse and Chloe's school when she
moved in with them and had started just a couple of days ago—he'd
drop her off at the shelter, where she'd hang with the kids in the
common room or help whoever needed an extra hand. She was starting
to come out of her shell more and more. It was amazing to watch. He
didn't see her every day, but Rainey kept him up to date. He'd known
she was great at her job and loved what she did, but now that she was
his and shared her thoughts and feelings with him, he knew that to be
even truer.
Just last night, she'd asked him to keep an eye on Matt when he was
training. Matt, of course, had lost their sparring duel and had to pay up,
meaning he had to attend a session with the tutor. The day he did,
Rainey had come home equally proud and frustrated. Matt was a smart
kid, though he hadn' t known how smart until Rainey told him what the
tutor had reported. Still, once he paid his debt, Matt didn't want to hear
anything about schooling or tutoring, and shut down everyone who
even remotely brought it up. He'd actually disappeared for three days
after the session, from the shelter as well as the gym, and had come
back moody and short-tempered, which wasn't like him at all. He was
now back to his laid-back and witty persona, but Rainey was worried,
so of course, Logan was keeping an eye on things for her when she
wasn't around; not to mention he himself was worried as well. Matt
wasn't just a smart kid, he was also very talented in the ring. Combine
the two, and he could be dynamite if he stuck with it. Logan had made
it his mission to take Matt under his wing whenever he had time, and so
far, Matt was responding to the attention and training positively.

"You're right. She'll get there eventually." Rainey took him out of his
thoughts and brought him back to the present.
He smiled to himself. "You ready to have me crawl all over you for an
hour and a half three times a week with your kids watching?"
She giggled. "I'm always ready to have you crawl all over me."
That was the damn truth.
And Logan couldn't be happier about that fact.
He rolled into her until she was on her back looking up at him covering
her. They hadn't made love tonight yet. The day had been so emotional,
he thought she'd prefer some quiet time while they were snuggling. But
the look in her eyes told him a different story. It was hot and needy and
loving. But before he brought them the ecstasy they both craved, he had
to make sure she was all right.
"You okay, baby," he whispered as he stroked her cheekbone gently
with his thumb and studied her face.
"More than okay. I don't think I've ever been as okay as I am right
now."
"You sure? Nothing on your mind you need to talk about?" "No, baby.
Everything is good."
"Good." He softly rubbed his nose along the side of hers before he
brushed her lips and whispered against them, "Then let me give you
what we both want."
"Okay," she breathed.
He closed his eyes and touched her tongue with his before he
proceeded in loving his Rainey.

Epilogue Rainey
THE NOISE IN THE HUGE Las Vegas arena was deafening. I could
hear it through the walls.
"You okay, baby?" Logan squeezed my hand he was holding in the one
that wasn't currently being taped.
I returned the squeeze and smiled at him as I nodded my head. "Of
course."
"You know I've got this."
"I do." And I did. He always did. My husband hadn't lost a single fight
in two and a half years, though that didn't mean he didn't have to sustain
any hits or didn't get hurt. Watching his beautiful body get punched and
bruised wasn't fun, not in the slightest; in fact, I winced just thinking
about it.
Logan pulled me closer until our foreheads touched and all I could see
was the intensity in his eyes. "And even if I don't, it'll still be you and
me going home to our beautiful baby girl. Together."
My smile turned into a happy grin. "Right."
Yes, Logan had knocked me up that first time we had sex. He had been
extremely smug when we found out. And also over the moon happy,
meaning I couldn't help but be happy too. He didn't hesitate in sliding a
ring on my finger, asking me to marry him only two months after we
had started dating, then making me his wife a month after he won his
first title when I was four months pregnant. We had a simple but
beautiful wedding with less than forty people in attendance. I didn't
need all the pomp and stress of a huge-ass wedding, didn't like it, and
neither did Logan, so we kept it low-key and invited only the people
who meant something to us before we took off on our honeymoon. I
will never forget the moment I walked down the aisle toward the man I
was going

to happily spend the rest of my life with. It was the most beautiful
moment in my life, until I watched Logan hold our daughter in his arms
for the first time five months later. That moment would be forever
seared into my brain, my strong husband holding the tiny bundle that
was our daughter swaddled in a blanket in the crook of his arm, his lips
at her head whispering to her softly, love and contentment shining
bright in his eyes. I couldn't wait for him to hold our son just like that.
I lifted my hand and touched my thumb to his eyebrow, then his cheek
and last, his mouth, before I kissed him softly.
"Time for you to find your seat, Rainey." My dad had Logan's gloves in
his hand, ready to slide them on my husband's hands. It was indeed
time for me to go.
Things between my father and me were good now. Solid. It hadn't
always been easy. Letting go of the resentment and finding my way
back to trusting him had had its ups and downs, even though I
understood where he had been coming from. It still didn't negate the
fact he had let it get that far. But he worked hard for it and never gave
up, didn't let me push him away, always searched me out after a fight,
determined to make things up to me. He did the same with my mom,
though with Ben in the picture and Mom being the sweetest and most
forgiving person in the world, he didn't have to work as hard. I knew it
had been tough on him, watching her with Ben, especially on their
wedding day, but he had also known that that ship had sailed, and he
wanted her happy. To my surprise, Ben and dad had become good
friends, but then again, they both knew Mom and I were happy, and
that's what they were all about. They both doted on their
granddaughter, our almost two-year-old Princess Sophie. It was
adorable and a joy to watch. I swear to god Sophie didn't touch the floor
for the first year of her life. Between Logan and the two of them, she
was always being carried or held. I didn't complain though; it was too
beautiful. And I wanted my daughter to receive as much love as she
possibly could.
"Go find your seat, baby," Logan whispered against my mouth before
he pressed his against mine again. Then he bent over and kissed my
protruding, six-month-pregnant stomach. "You go and watch your
daddy fight, and keep your mommy safe while you do it." Yes, I
couldn't

wait for our son to arrive.
I squeezed Logan's hand one last time then slid off the table and walked
to the door, where I was met by one of the bodyguards who would
escort me to my seat.
When we hit the arena, I let my eyes roam up and down the rows as we
walked. People were shouting and cheering, clapping and stomping
their feet, impatient for the two fighters to appear. I saw signs with my
husband's name on them, held up mostly by women, but I also noticed
some in men's hands, heard his name screeched and hollered. I smiled
to myself, proud my man could elicit such a reaction, such devotion
from so many people. I was just as excited as they were, maybe more
so, even though I was still somewhat anxious and a little worried. Of
course I was. Though it had nothing to do with the fear of him leaving
me if he lost. That fear had been extinguished. But my husband was
going to be up in that ring in mere minutes, trying to beat the shit out of
his opponent to defend his title. He was good, the best. His fighter
name wasn't 'The Drill' for nothing. He packed a punch that could
figuratively drill his opponents into the ground. I was confident he
would win this fight, but I also knew he wouldn't do that untouched.
But watching my man do what he loved to do and be successful doing
it, supporting him through everything that came with, it made me proud
to be by his side.
I laid my hand on my stomach and drew gentle circles, trying to soothe
my son's obvious excitement. He wasn't even born yet, but I had to
confess I dreaded the moment he would step into the ring for the first
time. But if his kicking and hitting in there were any indication, he
would come out punching like a champ. He did this every time I
walked into the gym, which was to say, pretty much every day. Logan
loved it. We were already his perfect family, his dream come true, but
his son being a third-generation boxer would be the cherry on top. At
least that's what he said. What he tried to ignore was the fact our
daughter couldn't get enough of boxing either.
Sophie was everyone's angel, had everyone who met her, especially
men, wrapped around her little finger. She had her father's blazing blue
eyes and my raven-black hair. And I might be biased because she is my
daughter, but the combination of the two was the most

stunning thing I had ever seen. She was a beauty, and I feared for the
boys who would undoubtedly get an eyeful and try to make a move on
her. Her father was a boxer, a famous one at that, which meant most of
his friends were boxers too, and so were her grandfather and his
friends. She was loved and protected by a lot of badasses who would
happily kick any boy's ass who even looked at her funny. I could only
imagine the rampage they would all go on when she got her heart
broken for the first time.
I found my ringside seat next to Rita, whose face was alight with
excitement and anxiousness just as much as mine probably was. She
never missed any of her son's fights, always sat next to me, both of us
cheering Logan on when he got a hit in, flinching when he took one. On
my other side sat Lizzy and Cole. Tonight was the first time they'd see
Logan fight in an arena like this.
"Wow," Lizzy said when I turned to her. "This is something else."
I grinned at her. "Wait until they come in. You won't be able to hear
yourself think."
"Holy crap."
My grin grew bigger.
Lizzy and Cole were still beautiful together, though ever since their
little girl, Rosie, was born, then their son, Quinn, that beauty had settled
even more, if that was possible. We saw a lot of them and our daughters
were best friends. As I hoped our sons would be too. All our kids were
currently upstairs in my mom and Ben's hotel suite; they had taken over
babysitting duty for the night. Tonight wasn't just Lizzy and Cole's first
fight night; it was also their first date since Quinn was born four months
ago. So after the fight and all that went with it, the four of us were going
out for a late dinner and drinks, then we would each go to our
respective suites and enjoy the rest of the night in privacy.
Bobby was supposed to come up with her man as well, but she had to
cancel at the last minute. I missed Bobby, and so did Lizzy. We visited
her as often as we could, and she'd come up a few times as well since
she left Boston a little over a year ago. But our friend was happy living
the small-town life in the Rocky Mountains. And after the ordeal she'd
survived this past winter, we couldn't be happier that she was

finally happy.
My eyes went to the ring when the announcer got everyone's attention
and greeted the challenger, then the lights went down and the music
went up as Dexter "The Killer" Kinsley made his way down the long
walkway to the ring. I watched and assessed as he took off his robe and
started to lightly bounce on his feet, swinging his arms and shoulders,
keeping his muscles warm. I had watched numerous tapes with Logan
as he learned about his opponent. Dexter was known for being brutal,
so I had been more worried and anxious than I usually was when I'd
learned Logan would be fighting him. But now I knew everything there
was to know about him, his strengths, but also his weaknesses, one of
his biggest being his cockiness. Cockiness almost always translated
into stupidity, in the ring even more so than in everyday life. He also
tended to drop his right, which was a huge disadvantage when you
fought a Southpaw like Logan.
"Holy shit!" Lizzy's shout brought me out of my thoughts, and my
smile grew huge when the announcer stepped back into the middle of
the ring and spoke into his microphone. The screams got so loud we
could hardly hear him as he introduced Logan. I got out of my seat and
stood, proudly watching and clapping as my husband entered the ring,
feeling Rita, Lizzy, and Cole do the same. As soon as he hit the floor,
Logan's eyes found me and stayed locked with mine while my dad took
off his robe. Then he stood and lifted his gloved hand, and just like my
father had always done before his fights, he touched it to his heart, then
raised it to his mouth and kissed it. Unlike my father, when he dropped
his hand and started slightly bouncing, he kept his eyes on mine and
mouthed, "Love you, baby," then waited for my return "Love you too"
before he turned and rolled his head and shoulders, his focus on the
fight, on his promise that he had this.
And I felt safe in the trust and belief that my man indeed had this.
He always did.
No matter the outcome of the fight.
The End

About the Author
Julia Goda is the author of the Cedar Creek Series and The Girl Series,
which so far include two romance novels each but have lots more
stories to come.
When she is not in her writing cave, she enjoys reading, drinking
coffee, eating good food, and listening to rock music.
Julia has lived in Germany and in the US (Virginia, and Colorado,
where she fell in love with Boulder and the Rocky Mountains.) Her
current home is Southern Alberta, Canada, where she lives close
enough to the Rockies with her husband and two crazy Labs to enjoy
the beauty and excitement that is mountain living.
Connect with Julia Goda:

www.juliagoda.com

www.facebook.com/juliagodaauthor

Amazon:

https://www.amazon.com/author/juliagoda

Google:

www.google.com/+JuliaGoda

Goodreads:

https://www.goodreads.com/author/Julia_Goda

Twitter: juliagoda

Enjoy Other Titles by Julia Goda
The Cedar Creek Series
Bent Not Broken
Be Here Now
The Girl Series
Wrong Side Girl
All titles available on Amazon and Kindle Unlimited.