Oh, Baby!
Dimitri fidgeted nervously and drew Benny's amused gaze. He shot her an
apologetic smile and forced his legs to stop their anxious bouncing. Sweaty palms flat
against his jeans, he glanced around the busy waiting room.
He was vastly outnumbered in the estrogen rich environment here. Most of the
women surrounding him were heavily pregnant. A few were barely beginning to show
the slightest hint of a rounded figure. He caught the eye of another father-to-be who
looked equally as uncomfortable here in the upscale waiting room of the obstetrics
practice Benny had chosen.
When he shifted again, the sea foam green chair squeaked. He grimaced at the
plush cushion and wondered why this place didn't offer a simple chair like the ones he
had recently purchased for his new office. Strong. Sturdy. Firm.
And ridiculously uncomfortable for a pregnant woman&
He considered the line of big tummies across from him. No doubt these wide,
cushy chairs had been designed with them in mind. Unfortunately, they made it nearly
impossible for him to find a comfortable position with his taller than average frame.
God help Ivan if he ever needed to come to a place like this with Erin! He would have to
bring his own chair or lean against the wall.
A gleeful squeal from the far corner made Dimitri smile. He leaned back for a
better look at the designated play area. He watched another father crawling around on
the floor with his toddler son while his wife at nearby and thumbed through a
magazine while rubbing her belly. Like Benny, she seemed so serene and calm.
Dimitri glanced at Benny who continued answering the many pages of the
questionnaire she'd been given after checking in at the main desk. He envied her
relaxed demeanor. At first, she had been the one panicking about their unplanned
pregnancy. Seeing the positive test that night of their engagement party had sent her
into a full-blown tizzy as she listed all the reasons they weren't ready to be parents.
With one kiss and a few gentle words, he had reassured her that they were
absolutely ready to be parents. Five years of friendship and the passionate love they
now shared were a perfect foundation for building their family. All the material things
she had listed would come in time.
After surviving the attack on their lives and the arson at her bakery, there was
nothing they couldn't face together. Besides, he believed she would be an amazing
mother. She was selfless, nurturing, kind and so incredibly loving. Dimitri thought of
the way she had stood by her brother even when he was at his very worst. If she could
handle Johnny, she could handle all that motherhood would throw at her.
Only now, when sitting in this waiting room while Benny filled out her medical
forms, did it finally hit him that in a few very short months he was going to be a father.
It wouldn't simply be Benny counting on him to love and provide and care for her. No,
there would also be a tiny little baby their baby who would need him.
The idea of having this new and precious life to cherish excited and terrified
Dimitri. He had promised Benny that he would be a good father to their child but he
didn't know the first damn thing about being a good father. He considered the role
models he'd known at the orphanage and later in the military. None of those men were
the kind who inspired him.
As inconspicuously as possible, Dimitri shifted in his seat and retrieved his
phone from his back pocket. He opened the app for his favorite online bookstore and
started browsing for books on fatherhood. Somewhat embarrassed that he had to seek
advice on something so personal from books, he tilted his screen and glanced around
nervously. Benny remained focused on her paperwork and the people closest to him
were engrossed in their magazines or phone screens.
As he read the reviews for the different books, he added the ones that looked the
most promising to his shopping cart. After purchasing them with a tap of his screen,
Dimitri discreetly tucked his phone back into his pocket. The four books he had ordered
would keep him busy for the next few weeks.
"You're wasting your money."
Benny's softly spoken words interrupted his troubled thoughts. He glanced at
her and caught that mischievous smile of hers that he loved so much. Obviously he
hadn't been very good at hiding his book browsing. When she clasped his hand and
gave his fingers a reassuring squeeze, he was reminded of how incredibly lucky he was
that she had agreed to marry him. Her support and unconditional love meant the world
to him.
The tips of his ears grew hot with embarrassment. "It can't hurt to expose myself
to new ideas and information."
"You don't need those books, Dimitri. You have good instincts. You're going to
be great at this."
Her unshakeable belief in him bolstered his confidence. He dipped his head until
their noses were almost touching before whispering, "Have I told you how much I love
you today?"
The blush coloring her cheeks betrayed her memories of their early morning
tryst. "I think you may have said something about that earlier but I was a bit
preoccupied at the time. I don't think I heard exactly how much you love me."
He claimed her mouth with a chaste kiss. "I'll have to remind you when we get
home."
"Miss Burkhart?
His gaze jumped to the nurse guarding the doorway to the exam area. In a few
short weeks, Benny would be Miss Burkhart no more and they would finally share a
last name.
When Benny stood, Dimitri swiped her purse and water bottle from the floor
because her hands were full with the paperwork and clipboard. She smiled up at him
with a bemused glint to her dark eyes but didn't try to stop him from coddling her. In
the three weeks since realizing they were pregnant, she had learned to accept his
overprotective gestures without argument. With all of the work stress Benny faced, he
was determined to coddle her as much as possible when she was within arm's reach.
He placed his hand against the small of her back and guided her toward the
nurse wearing bubblegum pink scrubs. They followed the nurse into the triage area.
Like the lobby, this back area of the practice was nicely decorated and presented a
warm, welcoming feel.
As Benny chatted with the nurse, Dimitri scanned the posters promoting
breastfeeding and car seat safety. He realized he didn't know the first thing about
nursing or how to install a car seat. The list of things he needed to learn before the
baby's arrival seemed to be growing non-stop.
After Benny was weighed and had her blood pressure and temperature taken,
they were taken to a spacious room. He marveled at the coziness of the exam room
compared to the ones at his doctor's practice. The potted plants and the screen for
undressing were a nice touch. Snapshots of a beach fixed to the ceiling over the exam
table confounded him at first. Then it occurred to him that patients might like
something pleasant to focus on while a doctor examined such intimate parts.
They took their seats and the nurse glanced over Benny's paperwork before
asking more detailed questions about her medical history. When the nurse finished
with Benny, she turned toward him and started lobbing pointed questions his way. At
first, the answers came easily but as the nurse began asking about his family history,
Dimitri recognized that he was at a significant disadvantage.
"I have no idea about my mother or father's medical histories." That old sensation
of abandonment crept into his chest. Only the feel of Benny's small hand gripping his
kept Dimitri from becoming instantly defensive as he normally did when his childhood
was a subject of discussion. "My father was in the military so I assume he was relatively
healthy but he eventually drank himself to death. My mother was young when she
died. Only twenty-three," he added, thinking to himself that Benny was so close to that
age.
"Do you know the cause of her death?"
"She had complications from tuberculosis. I think," he added uncertainly. "I was
only able to piece that together from memories. It might have been something else
entirely."
"Okay." The nurse remained cheerful. "Your situation isn't all that uncommon."
She stood up long enough to grab some pamphlets from a shelf on the wall. "You might
consider having some genetic testing done, for your own peace of mind."
A sense of foreboding weighed down his shoulders. What kind of awful things
might lurk in his DNA? He glanced at Benny's belly. What if he'd given their baby some
terrible genetic disease?
"What about the baby? Can we test the baby now?"
Benny shot him a strange look. Her hand moved over her belly in a protective
gesture. "Even if the baby isn't perfect "
"No," Dimitri interjected quickly and gently before she got the wrong idea.
"That's not at all what I meant." The tension eased from her face. "I thought more
information would be useful, just in case we need to prepare for specialists."
"Oh." Benny seemed to mull it over. "Well as long as the tests aren't invasive or
dangerous for the baby."
As the nurse discussed the options for first trimester testing, Dimitri tried to
suppress the quiver of panic trying to invade his chest. He had no idea what sort of
chemicals or toxins he'd been exposed to while serving in the military. He had been a
young boy during the Chernobyl disaster and no doubt he'd been dosed with more
radiation than most men American men his age.
Suddenly, he felt terribly irresponsible. Why hadn't he done all this genetic
testing on himself before making a baby with Benny?
"So I'll step out for a few minutes while you get changed and when I come back,
Dr. Acevedo will be with me," the nurse said as she gathered up the chart and
paperwork and headed for the door.
Dimitri realized he had missed almost all of the conversation Benny had been
having with the nurse. When they were alone, Benny turned in her chair and cupped
his face. "Stop worrying, Dimitri."
He exhaled a deep breath and touched his forehead to hers. "Please don't think
that I wouldn't love our baby if something was wrong."
"I don't think that. I know you like to be prepared." She kissed his cheek before
sliding out of her chair. "But I think you're worrying about nothing."
"I hope that's true." He prayed that was true.
Benny picked up the gown and slipped behind the changing screen. When she
stepped out a few minutes later, he had to hide his smile. The one-size fits all gown had
definitely not been designed with someone so short in mind. "Sweetheart, I think you
put that on backwards."
She shook her head. "No, these gowns are supposed to open in the front so the
doctor can do a breast exam."
"Oh." Apparently this was another one of those mysteries of the feminine realm.
"Do you need help getting up there?"
"There's a step."
Even so, he crossed the floor to help her up onto the exam table. She rolled her
eyes at him but giggled when he took advantage of the gaping front of the gown to cop
a feel. "Dimitri!"
"What?" He caressed her naked breast as she glared up at him. "You're the one
teasing me."
"Whatever!" She said with a little laugh and playfully smacked his hand. "Behave
yourself. We have to come back to this office, like, fifty times between now and the
delivery. I'd rather us not have the reputation of being the couple that got caught
getting frisky in an exam room."
"I don t know." He brushed his mouth across hers. "It might make these visits
more interesting."
"Dimitri "
Before she could finish her thought, someone knocked at the door. A second
later, the nurse stuck her head inside the room. "Ready?"
Dimitri stepped aside and glanced back at the nurse. "Yes."
Dr. Acevedo, a tall, fit doctor with dark hair coiled into a no-nonsense bun,
followed the nurse into the room. She dragged a portable ultrasound machine with her.
After a quick exchange of handshakes and introductions, Dr. Acevedo got down to
business.
He made sure to stand out of the way as the doctor and Benny chatted about her
pregnancy symptoms. She had been incredibly nauseated but small meals and ginger
ale seemed to be helping. Guilt gripped Dimitri every time she dashed to the bathroom.
Holding her hair while she retched wasn't the most romantic thing in the world but it
helped him feel like he was doing something for her. After all, it was his fault she was
in this predicament.
"You should see your symptoms ease up some as you get out of the first
trimester," Dr. Acevedo said as she palpated Benny's chest. "The soreness here and the
nausea should dissipate. You've lost less than five pounds since discovering you were
pregnant so I'm not overly concerned. You seem to be experiencing a normal range of
morning sickness."
If this was normal, Dimitri shuddered to think what those poor women with
abnormal morning sickness suffered.
"Well, Dimitri has been pushing fluids and tiny meals my way every couple of
hours," Benny said.
Dr. Acevedo nodded and smiled at him. "That's what I would have suggested to
help with run-of-the-mill morning sickness. Actually, you'll find that as your pregnancy
progresses and the baby grows larger, you'll have to eat more frequent small meals
anyway. Otherwise you may have heartburn or discomfort. It's also good for blood
sugar control."
Dimitri took mental notes as the pair continued their discussion. He decided to
sit down later and come up with some small meal and snack ideas for Benny. With the
security firm starting to gather steam, he wouldn't be able to spend as much time with
her as he would like. It would give him peace of mind to know she was leaving the
house every morning with a lunch box filled with snacks and meals prepared by him.
"I'm sorry you had to wait a few weeks to be seen. I know it's probably nerve-
wracking to wait for us to work you into the schedule." Dr. Acevedo consulted the chart
again. "So based on your last menstrual period, you are almost eleven weeks pregnant."
She grinned at them and dragged the portable ultrasound machine closer to the exam
table. "Let's see what this tiny little bean of yours is up to right now."
Benny motioned him closer but he felt a bit awkward just standing there as the
nurse draped a sheet across Benny's lap. When Benny scooted down and placed her feet
in the stirrups, Dr. Acevedo plopped down on her rolling stool and picked up the
internal ultrasound wand. Now he really felt weird. The whole experience was nothing
like he had expected.
As if reading his mind, Dr. Acevedo explained, "We do internal ultrasounds
early in the pregnancy because the views are much better. At your next visit, we'll do a
quick peek via her tummy."
Benny squirmed with discomfort. He started to ask the doctor to be gentler with
her but then the nurse pivoted the ultrasound screen and his ability to speak left him.
At first, he wasn't quite sure what he was seeing.
"Here is an ovary," Dr. Acevedo said and touched the screen. "And right over
here& bingo!"
For the longest time, Dimitri simply stared at the grainy image projected on the
screen. It was a baby. It was their baby. His jaw dropped when those miniature hands
started waving and the tiny little feet start to kick. He hadn't been expecting that.
He reached for Benny's hand as Dr. Acevedo measured their baby and assured
them it was right on target. She talked about the changes the baby would undergo in
the next few weeks while continuing to study the screen and print out screen captures.
Stupefied by the sight of their baby kicking and waving, Dimitri slipped into a
dazed state as the doctor finished her exam and talked to Benny about the schedule of
visits and when to expect to discover the gender. He marveled at the realization that his
child was already doing so many amazing things inside of Benny. In a way, he envied
Benny's closeness to their growing baby. He would have to wait until their child was
delivered to feel that intimacy but Benny could already rub her belly and speak gently
to the life growing inside her.
He managed to focus long enough to bid farewell to Dr. Acevedo and the nurse
and to help Benny off the table. Clutching the printed strip of photographs, he traced
the grainy image of their baby. Would the baby have dark hair like Benny or lighter hair
like him? Brown eyes or blue? His height or her petite frame? Suddenly, six months
seemed like an eternity. He wanted to know now.
"That was wild, huh?" Benny said, her voice tinged with awe as she stepped out
from behind the screen. Standing close to him, she snuggled up to his side when he slid
his arm around her shoulders. Together, they gazed at the photos of their baby. "I didn't
expect the baby to be moving so much."
"Neither did I," he admitted. "Honestly, I didn't think it would look so& "
"Baby-like?" She said with a laugh. "I know. The jazz hands and dancing legs
were a nice touch."
He chuckled softly. "Yes. I think you're going to be in for some sleepless nights
once the baby gets big enough for you to feel moving around in there."
Gazing up at him with dark eyes shimmering with emotion, she said, "It's so
worth it."
He swallowed hard as a ball of emotion filled his throat. "I wish I could find a
way to describe how happy I am right now." He ducked down to capture her mouth in
a loving kiss. "I love you, Benny."
She rubbed his chest and rose up on tiptoes to press their lips together again. "I
love you."
Hand in hand, they left the exam room and made a stop at the front desk to
schedule Benny's next three appointments and the lab work she needed to have
completed. They left the building and crossed the street to the parking garage.
"Lunch?" Dimitri asked as he helped her into the front seat of his truck. Even
though he had installed running boards, he worried she might lose her balance and fall.
It was overprotective in the extreme but he couldn't help himself.
"Sure."
He shut the door, walked around the back of the truck and slid into the driver's
seat. As he cranked the engine, he asked, "Are you craving anything?"
Her saucy grin made the corners of his mouth curve upward. "Nothing they
serve in a restaurant."
Heat streaked through his stomach and made his groin tighten. "I see."
"I say we hit up one of our favorite places for some takeout "
"And take a long lunch at home?" He easily finished her thought.
"If you want," she said with a little shrug and pretended not to care one way or
the other.
"As if you even have to ask!" He laughed and backed out of his parking space.
She giggled and reached for the strip of ultrasound pictures again. "We should
probably start thinking about some names."
"Probably," he agreed.
"I know some people like to name their kids after the grandparents but I'd rather
not."
"Fine by me." Dimitri considered some names as they sat at a red light. "What
about Zoya? Or Sofia? Lilya?"
"I like them. They should definitely go on the list but they're all girl names."
"It's a waste of time arguing about boy names."
"And why is that?"
"Because we're having a girl, of course."
"Oh, we are, huh?" Her dark brows arched skeptically. "And you know this
how?"
She snorted with amusement and glanced at the pictures again. "The baby is like
the size of your thumb. You can't possibly tell what it is!"
"I know."
"How?"
Dimitri offered her a knowing smile. "A father just knows these things..."