A Short Story











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//

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A Short Story






You are going to read a short story. For questions 1 - 8, choose the answer (A, B, C or D) which you think fits best according to the text.








Lotnisko Domodiedowo, w??czono pr?d po kilku dniach w zimnie i ch?odzie, zacz?? dzia?a? posterunek celny. Celnik, weso?o pyta z?ego, zm?czonego pasa?era:
- Narkotyki, bro??
- Jak bym mia?, to bym dawno u?y?!

by Peppone

* * * * *

Niedzielne popo?udnie. Tata z synem obejrzeli wy?cig Formu?y 1, po czym udali si? do gara?u rzuci? okiem na auto.
- Tato, a co tata robi?
- Zmieniam ko?o...
- Jak w formule jeden?
- Tak, synku, jak w formule 1...
- Jak w pitstopie?
- Dok?adnie tak synku...
- To szybciej ch*ju bo ci? zdubluj?!

by Goris

* * * * *

Rok 2012. Apple przejmuje Microsoft.
2013 Google przejmuje Apple'a
2014 Facebook przejmuje Google'a
2015 ?abka przejmuje Facebooka...

by Rupertt

* * * * *

- Pok?óci?em si? ze star? i mam Niemca w domu.
- A ja Beara Gryllsa.
- Czyli?
- Od dwóch tygodni wpierdzielam jakie? odpadki.

by Bullterier_K

* * * * *

Na ?awce w parku siedzi dwóch go?ci lekko odstraszaj?cych widokiem i sprawiaj?cych wra?enie oderwanych od otaczaj?cego ?wiata.
Podchodzi do nich patrol policji i pyta:
- Panowie kloszardzi?
- Niee, my tylko po wieczorze kawalerskim.

by B33rFan

* * * * *

- Kochanie wynios?e? choink??
- No wynios?em... przedwczoraj...
- To przynie? j? z powrotem...
- Po co?
- Pojutrze wigilia...

by Misiek666

* * * * *

Na dyskotece:
- Aaaaauuuuaaaa... Dziewczyny, paznokie? z?ama?am!
- I co z tego? Czemu si? drzesz?
- Bo go z nosa nie mog? wyj??!

by Leszek_z_balkonu

* * * * *

Podczas rozprawy rozwodowej s?dzia pyta (jeszcze) ?on?:
- Co? jednak musia?o pani? w nim fascynowa?, skoro pani za niego wysz?a?
?ona:
- Faktycznie, ale ju? to wyda?am...

by sharkis

* * * * *

- Gdzie by?e??
- Z dzieciakami w zoo...
- Maj? jakie? nowe zwierz?ta ?
- No... tygrys jest. Taki wielki. Podszed? do kraty i zrobi? g?o?no "PFFFFFF!!!"
- Co ty bredzisz??? Tygrysy robi? "WROOOAAAAARRRR!!!"
- No paszcz? tak. Ale ten podszed? ty?em...

by Misiek666

* * * * *

Gwiazda, która od d?ugiego czasu prowadzi?a Trzech Króli zatrzyma?a si? nad stajenk? w Betlejem.
Wielce uradowa? ich ten fakt, gdy? zm?czeni byli ju? srodze.
Zatrzymali zatem swoje wielb??dy w zagrodzie, wzi?li cenne dary i ruszyli w kierunku drzwi.
Zapukali nie?mia?o i czekaj?.
Po chwili w drzwiach ukaza? si? Józef ze strachem w oczach.
Widz?c jednak trzech m?drców, o których mu anio? co? wspomnia? wcze?niej we ?nie, odetchn?? i ruchem r?ki wskaza? kierunek.
- Wejd?cie do ?rodka!
Wchodzili kolejno schylaj?c g?owy w niskich drzwiach.
Kacper, Melchior i Baltazar.
Kiedy zbli?ali si? do ??obu, w którym le?a?o dzieci?, Baltazar niechc?cy dotkn?? rozci?gni?tego drutu i pad? jak pora?ony.
- Ostro?nie!... Zapomnia?em wam powiedzie?!
- O czym?
- Byli tutaj pasterze przed wami, wszyscy poszli, a elektryczny zosta?.

by Samorodek


Czas na humor archiwalny, czyli z czego ?miali?my si? sto wielopaków temu:

Lato. Mosze jedzie w przepe?nionym autobusie. Swoj? wielk? du*? zajmuje dwa miejsca siedz?ce. W ko?cu jeden z wspó?pasa?erów nie wytrzymuje i zwraca mu uwag?:
- Mo?e by pan si? troch? przesun??, ?eby ta stoj?ca obok starsza, zm?czona pani mog?a sobie usi????!
Mosz zaskoczony zerka w gór? i wtedy jego twarz rozja?nia szeroki u?miech:
- Panie... - zwraca si? do pasa?era - ... ale si? pan da?e? nabra?, to? to moja Salcia!!

by sharkis
* * * * *

Dzisiaj w czasie obiadu moja dziewczyna rzek?a:
- Musimy porozmawia? o naszej przysz?o?ci.
- Ok, kochanie! No wi?c, samochody b?d? lata?y w powietrzu, wszyscy b?dziemy nosi? takie b?yszcz?ce kombinezony, a na wakacje ludzie b?d? lata? na ksi??yc.
Zerwa?a ze mn?.

by roland26

* * * * *

Wojsko: Co mamy napisa? na Twoim nie?miertelniku, ?o?nierzu? Protestant, katolik czy ?yd?
Ateista: Nic. Jestem niewierz?cy.
Wojsko: A gdyby? zosta? ranny, kogo powinni?my wezwa?: pastora, ksi?dza czy rabina?
Ateista: Wezwijcie lekarza!

by jenny8















Show all questions



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How did the writer feel about the questions her European friends asked?  ?    ridiculous  ?    irritated  ?    strange  ?    embarrassed
When did the writer's attitude change about the expedition?  ?    when she was travelling along the dirt track  ?    when she received her invitation  ?    when she arrived at the game reserve  ?    when her friend arrived from England
The guide woke everyone up very early, so they  ?    could have breakfast.   ?    wouldn't miss an opportunity.  ?    had plenty of time to visit different places.  ?    wouldn't miss the sunrise.
What does 'It' in 'It was a stunning sight' refer to? (paragraph 4)  ?    the pride of lions   ?    the destination  ?    the top of the hill  ?    the morning light
Timothy's experience as a game ranger was valuable because he  ?    could supply a blunt answer to any question.  ?    knew how to frighten the animals.  ?    knew the game reserve well.  ?    could identify trouble in advance.
Why did the tracker signal to the driver of the jeep to stop?  ?    to avoid disturbing the lions   ?    to get a better look at the lions  ?    to study the lions' movements  ?    to see what the lions were eating
What does the writer mean by 'we had been very lucky indeed' in paragraph 5?  ?    They had seen the lions up close.  ?    They hadn't been attacked.  ?    They had a good guide with them.  ?    They had gone on a trip.
What conclusion does the writer of the text come to?  ?    We often do not realise how attractive our environment really is.  ?    It is not clever to unnecessarily put ourselves in dangerous situations.  ?    We don't respect wild animals enough.  ?    We should protect our surroundings.











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