How to Be a Dominatrix
By LCM323444
After a divorce and a 30th birthday, Lisa M. took control of her life and
her ex-husband.
There are two kinds of dominatrices: 1) Those who really are dominatrices; and 2) those who really are
not, but like to "dress up" and pretend they are for the amusement of their partner and/or themselves.
This article is not about how to be a "pretend dominatrix." And the difference is all in your head. Why
"pretend" when its so easy to be the real deal? The definition of the "real deal" is simply a woman who
knows how to control a man sexually. Begin with your boyfriend, fiancé or husband. These simple steps
will let you get control of him by using a formal, in-the-home training regimen. The positive changes
you will see take place in your partner, as well as in yourself, make it all worth the effort. Who knows,
once you have mastered this at home, you may want to take your new found powers "on the road."
Instructions
Shoes with feminine authority!
Step 1: PREPARE YOURSELF MENTALLY
There isn't a man alive that doesn't love a woman who can take control of him sexually. He has already
been trained since the time he was a little boy to take orders from women: his mother, big sister, aunt,
grandmother, baby-sitter, the lady next door, kindergarten teacher, etc. When he had his first crush on a
sexy school-teacher he became familiar with an authoritative, no-nonsense woman in high heels. But
about the time he finished high school, he got rebellious, and began to resist the natural sexual authority
of women. But its still there, laying dormant just under the surface. You can quickly reawaken those
submissive tendencies in him, and get him right back where he belongs -- at your feet! Rest assured that
he'll be happier for it in the long run. Remember, sexual submission to a dominant and sexually
confident woman is part of his very nature. At the same time, you have to be ready to present him with
the ultimatum. Either he participates in this with you, or the relationship is over. If you aren't ready to
make that stand, then you aren't ready to be a dominatrix. If you don't feel that he's ready, go read my
other article on "Training Your Man."
A good stiff crop.
Step 2: PURCHASE THE NEEDED EQUIPMENT
Aside from your attire, you will need certain items for your sessions. You will need a stiff, black leather,
riding crop. For him, you will need: 1) a black, one-inch wide, leather or nylon collar; 2) a six-foot,
black leather or nylon leash; 3) a genital harness, or what is commonly called a "cock & ball" harness; 4)
You may also want to purchase black leather or nylon wrist and ankle restraint cuffs; and 5) spreader
bars and other items that you will see on various on-line catalogs. But these last two items are for
advanced training exercises, and may be omitted from your initial sessions.
Be pleasant but firm with him
Step 3: PRESENT HIM WITH THE IDEA
Sit down and discuss all this with him. Explain that you want him to cooperate with you on doing some
"therapeutic training exercises" with you. Explain to him that these exercises are therapeutic for three
reasons: 1) They will help him explore his sexuality and learn to focus his sexual attention on you,
where it belongs; 2) They will help the two of you to develop your sexual relationship together, as a
couple; and 3) They will help you develop your feminine sexual powers, and achieve your full sexual
potential. He may be reluctant, and he may even come right out and say that he doesn't want to. But you
need to be calm, confident and firm with him, and explain to him that you are not "asking" him, but are
just simply "informing" him that he IS going to participate in this with you. Speak about it as if it is a
fait accompli, and explain that if he's a good boy and does as he's told, that there may be a big reward for
him in the end. Don't promise him a reward. That depends on how good he is. But tempt him with the
possibility of a reward.
Step 4: PUT ON YOUR "WORK CLOTHES"
Explain to him that you are going to go to the bedroom to get dressed for your first "session." It is
important that you dress in black. You may choose to dress simply in a sexy black bra and panties with
stilettos. Or you may choose to dress more elaborately with garterbelt, stockings, gloves, and a corset,
basque, bustier, or waist-cincher. I've conducted very successful training sessions in nothing but a black
g-string and platform heels. Wear what you like, but always make it black and sexy. The purpose of your
attire is not just to arouse him and focus his sexual attention, but to "COMMAND" his sexual attention
and keep it riveted on you. A man's greatest sexual weakness is that he is very visual, and you must use
that to your advantage. Harness his weakness to "dominate" him. As his tiny male brain becomes
aroused by the visual image of his Goddess, the blood flow in his brain is diverted away from his
anterior cingulate cortex, the decision-making part of his brain. And as his decision-making powers
become increasingly impaired, he will become more compliant, acquiescent, obedient and submissive to
your commands. This is how it works.
Obedience is a desirable trait in males. But it must be taught and reinforced
Step 5: RULES FOR HIM
Inform him ahead of time of the following rules: 1) When you are about ready, you will ring a bell.
When he hears the bell, he is to go immediately to a predetermined room in the house, strip completely
and wait for you. He should stand facing the doorway with his head down, looking at the floor. 2) When
you come to the door, he is to lock his eyes on your feet. He is not allowed to ogle you, gape at you, or
look up at you. Explain to him that your manner of dress is not for his amusement or entertainment. As a
woman, you are naturally sexy, and you are most comfortable dressing sexy. During these sessions, the
proper place for his eyes is "locked on your feet." 3) Once you come to the door, and the session begins,
he is not to speak unless spoken to. If spoken to, you will most likely ask him "yes" or "no" questions.
His answers should be limited to: "Yes, Maam," "No, Maam," or "I don't know, Maam." For the word
"Maam," you may choose to substitute words like "Mistress," "Princess," "Goddess," or whatever you
like. If he feels the need to say something or ask a question, he must first get your permission by
addressing you by name, "Goddess Lisa," and asking, "May I have permission to say something,
Maam?" Of course, you may or may not grant that permission. Don't permit him to get "chatty." 4) In
any case, he is to obey your every command during the training session. Remember, this isn't play. This
is therapy.
A simple but important item.
Step 6: PREPARING YOUR MALE FOR TRAINING
When you present yourself at the door of his room, you will have your crop in one hand, and his
blindfold, collar, harness and leash in the other. Pause at the door for a moment to see if he can keep his
eyes down on your feet. If he cannot resist the temptation to look up and ogle his Mistress's beauty, then
you will need to correct him, but remember, males are visual creatures, and you are so beautiful and
sexy that the untrained male will have great difficulty resisting the temptation to look up at you. Then
tell him to turn around. When he has done so, place the blindfold or a black cloth hood over his head,
place the collar around his neck and secure the leash to it, and then lead him over to a chair where you
will sit. Once seated, you can secure the harness to his genitals, and then transfer the leash from his
collar to the harness. Never let him put these items on or take them off of himself. It is your privilege
and your obligation to do this. It reinforces your superiority over him both in his mind and in yours.
Now you are able to lead him, by the leash, out to the living room, den, or to whichever room you have
chosen for his reinforcement training exercises.
Step 7: POSITION ONE:
He should stand with his arms at his side, and his head down as if he were looking at your feet.
Typically, you will stand facing him. If you are right-handed you will probably choose to hold your crop
in your right hand, and his leash in your left hand. At this point, you should pull his blindfold off. You
should then proffer your left foot a bit, if you are holding his leash in your left hand. Hold your head
back a bit, looking down at him, and command him, "Roger, Position One," speaking with confidence
and authority. He should immediately and smoothly drop into Position One, which is: On his knees, toes
pointed, butt on heels, his hands flat on the floor on either side of your left foot. His forearms should be
parallel and flat on the floor, his elbows a few inches in front of his knees. And then, leaning forward,
raising his butt off his heels, he should touch his forehead to the toes of your left foot. He should never
rest his head on your foot. Your foot is NOT a headrest. He should hold this position until you command
him to do otherwise. He is not to kiss your foot unless you command him to, and only then as a reward
for him.
A Guide for Women.
Step 8: TRAINING POSITIONS
In addition to Position One, there are nine other positions described in books like "The Art of Sensual
Female Dominance: A Guide for Women." But you don't need to limit yourself to these. Create your
own "Training Positions," kneeling, standing, bending, sitting, prone or suppine. Assign each position a
number and have him memorize them. Practice them during each session until he becomes proficient.
When you say, "Roger, Position Four," he should be moving toward Position Four before you finish
pronouncing the "r" in the word "Four."
Step 9: POSITIVE AND NEGATIVE REINFORCEMENT
When putting him through his Training Positions, if he does something especially good, or finally gets a
particular Training Position right, you should encourage him with positive reinforcement. Let him hear
you purr a soft "Good Boy." Eventually he will relish hearing you say those words, and just that simple
reward, knowing that he has pleased you, will become the principle reward for which he strives. But, if
he hesitates or "balks" at a command, or if he performs the wrong position, you will need to "Correct"
him. Correction consists of 1) letting him know that he has done something wrong; 2) letting him know
what it is that he did wrong; 3) letting him know that it displeases you (this can be accomplished simply
with your tone of voice); and 4) it should be accompanied by a swat or a "stroke" with your crop upon
his butt or the back of his thighs. Correction should always be 1) immediate and swift, not five minutes
later, 2) consistent, and not flexible, and 3) significant and meaningful. This last one means that it should
be hard enough to make him wish he had not done something wrong, but NEVER so hard that it would
inflict harm. There is a difference between harm and pain. Remember, to him, the fact that he displeased
his Mistress will be far more punishment than any swat or stroke you could administer. The stroke is
merely to punctuate your displeasure. I recommend a mix of 70 to 80 percent positive reinforcement,
and only 20 to 30 percent negative reinforcement in any given one hour session. Don't get too impatient,
he will improve over time. If he performs well during a session, you can reward him by letting him
massage your feet or fix you a bubble bath afterwards. If you are intimate with your male, the best
reward you can give him is to permit him to give you oral sex afterwards. This is something he will learn
to work for eagerly.
Look how happy he is now.
Step 10: MAINTAIN A REGULAR TRAINING SCHEDULE
A good rule of thumb is to hold your one-hour Training Sessions at least once a week and never more
than three times a week. I find that the best Training Schedule is about twice a week, spaced out every
three or four days for the first few weeks until he has memorized all his positions. Then you can go to
once a week. As he becomes proficient in his positions, you will notice that he will begrudgingly start to
look forward to his Training Sessions, and eventually he will become openly eager for them. The long
term results of a regular training schedule is that he will become more and more devoted to you, you will
find yourself more in control of the relationship, and you will become a more sexually confident woman.
Tips & Warnings

Women have the ABILITY to control men sexually because of their inherent male sexual
weaknesses and our inherent sexual feminine power.

Women have the RIGHT to control men sexually because we are superior sexual beings. Further,
you have the RIGHT to control your man sexually because he is yours.

Women have the OBLIGATION to control men sexually because if we don't they will be out of
control. Further, you have the OBLIGATION to control your man sexually because if you don't
some other woman will take sexual control of him.

Never, never, never inflict physical injury to a male under your control. It is far better to
accomplish your ends through positive reinforcement and reward than through negative
reinforcement, correction and punishment. Its important for him to know that you can and will
use corporal punishment, but its far more effective to have him eagerly seek your kind and gentle
approbation. The purpose of therapeutic domination to exact willing obedience from your male.
If he is an unwilling participant then it is not therapeutic domination, and nothing is gained. If,
however, over time, you are able to get him to the point where he is eager and excited about
serving you then both he and you will be happier with the outcome.