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CONCEPT OF CONJUGALriY IN TIIE MA1IAB1IARATA 23

thcre is, to surrendcr thc ... wilc to hcr husband is to promotc tyranny in the world. ”¹²

Thcre is a codę for thc \vilc's conduct in most Dharmaśastras. ‘She should bc inclincd to obligc hcr husband, ncvcr use harsh words, eflicicnt, dcvotcd and swcct-spokcn.’¹³ ‘Wivcs should obcy the husband's words, this is thc highcst duły for thc wilc.’¹⁴ Innumcrablc tcxts in the cpics, Dharma&stras and Puranas emphasizc thc tolal dcnial of libcrty to the woman al any stage in hcr lifc.'^4a

Manu says that ‘ the. wife who goes against her husband out of pride in hcr own family, thc king should causc hcr to bc catcn up by dogs in a crowdcd place.’¹⁵ ‘The wilc who docs not mind hcr husband beeause hc is poor, sick or unlcarncd, after dcath such a woman is bom as a snake and bccomcs a widów rcpcatcdly.’¹⁶

‘The husband was normally chosen by the father or the brother with thc father‘s conscnt, thc wilc was to scrvc him all his lite and should not transgress his orders cvcn altcr his dcath.’¹⁷ “Even if hc is wayward, capricious, is without any merit, he is to be worshipped as a god by thc dcvotcd wilc. The Sastras lorbid hcr to dress hcrsclf pleasanlly, to enjoy musie, theatre, ctc. after the husband ’s dcath or when hc was away; texls could be multiplied indcllnitcly but the paltem rcmains basically thc same. In conjugal lite the wilc was expcelcd to bc abjcctly devolcd to the scrvice of thc husband and in-laws, bcing totally indiffcrcnl to hcr own comforls, nccds and desires. Daksa in a misogynic vcin says that ‘during childhood thc wilc is scarcd (of hcr husband), in youlh she is indifferent and in old age she treats her husband like a scrvanl.’^,g

But “thc house or houschold is bascd on thc wite if she obeys him, thcre is nothing like a houscholdcr’s lile if the wife is scrvile... Evcn in hcavcn anylhing like conjugal lovc is hard to find. "²⁰ Manu has thc famous vcrse, “ wivcs arc for rccrcation, they should be worshipped, they are the lights of thc homes, in thc house thcre is no diffcrcncc bclwecn thc woman and thc goddess of fortunę.”²' In another tcxt Manu says: ‘In shorl, the duły of man and wilc is (a) lifclong (vow of) not going against cach other. ’’²² But let us not forget thc tenns of this divinc amity, allhough here it says that ncithcr should transgress against thc other, an ovcrwhclming majorily of tcxls lay down that thc basie tenet of conjugal harmony rested on the wilc obcying thc husband’s wishes unprotcstingly; thc conccpt of inutual rcspccting of cach other *s wishes is wholly absent in thc Dharmaśastras despite thcsc fcw contrary cvidcnccs. As Simone dc Bcauvoir says, “Hc is her juslilication: She has only to entrust hcr lile with hcr husband and he will givc it mcaning.”²³ Henee one should not cat food cookcd by “thc wife who acts against thc diclalcs of thc husband, she should bc known as a