Advanced Speed Seduction Seminar


ADVANCED SPEED SEDUCTION SEMINAR

TAPE 1

Ross: To my Super Speed Seduction Weekend. I know you guys are going to

be blown out of the water. I have been working on this material to the

extent you would not believe. Before we get you into the meat of this

I would just like to ask, how many people here have been to a previous

seminar, raise your hand. Ok. How many people have listened to the home

study course or read the home study course book or work book. Ok. How

many people here have absolutely no exposure to any of my material at any

time. Ok. That's fine. That'll work. That's fine. So you've all

had some exposure. A couple of administrative points and then we'll get

on to the meat of this. We'll going to be here from 5:00 to 10:00, we'll

probably take a pizza break, we'll have pizza brought in around 7:00, 7:30

so you will be fed. Tomorrow we go from 9:30 to 6:00 and Sunday we go from

9:30 to 6:00. Tonight what we'll be covering are some basic principles.

We're going to be reviewing the basic principles. hold your question,

we'll be reviewing the basic principles to make this work and the basic

tools. I might give you a new pattern, I might not. Saturday, we're

going to be going through patterns, some new patterns I've done and

some stuff that's also in the home study course and Sunday we're going

to be doing hot seats. Ok. I forgot to bring the hot seat form to fill

out if you want to do hot seats. I will have them tomorrow. So if you

want to do hot seats make sure you see Yates and, what the hot seats are

about is if you have some specific challenge, there's one particular

woman that you've always been after or something like that, you get up

here and we work with you and we carve out an exact strategy for you

to follow. And some of my top students will be here, some of them are

already in the room tonight. They are here to help you. One point I

want to make. This seminar is not about competition. I know as men

we are very competitive, this seminar is about cooperating. I want

everyone here to have the attitude of helping each other. When I break

you up in groups to do exercises, I want you to do the exercises. Is

that clear?

Audience: Yeah

Ross: Ok, good, you're giving me the verbal feedback. It's yes or no.

The next point I want to make is, we will be taking breaks fairly

frequently, so don't worry about that. There's no name tags, you don't

have to ask permission to go to the bathroom or any of the other bullshit.

I am vulgar in my language so if you are offended by vulgar language,

get the fuck out now. Ok. Because I'm teaching very sophisticated

concepts and the only way I can keep my own mind fresh is by descending

into the gutter on frequest occasions. So, we will have women in the

room, they are here as my demonstration subjects, don't worry about

them, you're presence here is confidential, that's no problem. If you

want to try patterns on them, feel free, but not inside the room. If

you want to mess with them out there and try some of this stuff, feel

free. Ok. In this room, unless I'm assigning you to work with them, leave

them alone. Ok. And, this is Jackie, she was at one of my seminars

I taught her one day from the learning annex, she's one of our

subjects here so, hello Jackie. The other thing I'll tell you about,

I promise to, all demonstration subjects, male or female, that I will

not embarrass or humiliate you, in an unhealthful fashion.

Audience: Laughs

Ross: So, I think that about covers all of the administrative stuff.

One final point, if you have a question, I insist that you ask it. My

dedication is to make sure you get this material. I have seen in my

own life the difference it has made in the fun I have as a result of

learning these skills. I've seen what some of my better students

has been able to do with this. There is no greater joy for me than to

have my student call me up and go Ross, you wouldn't believe it,

this chick is madly in love with me, I can't believe it, blah, blah,

I love hearing that. When I hear that someome is getting results

it's just blowing their mind, it blows my mind, I love it. So, if

you have a question, ask it. Will everyone agree to that, will you

ask a question if you've got it.

Audience: Yes

Ross: The only exception is, do not ask me questions during the break.

For two reasons: (1) I need the breaks, and (2) the other people

in the room don't get to hear the benefit of the answer. Is that fair?

Audience: Yes

Ross: Alright, so let's get started tonight. Huh, what is this

really all about? There is varying degrees in this room right now

of understanding of my material, and I realize that. I realize some

people get it at a great degree and some people get it to a lesser

degree. The real major point, the real basic principles that this is

all about. There's basically there's two full principles. First it's about

creating a state for yourself, learning to create and control your

own state so that when you go into a situation, you have a state that's

powerful and fun and you feel totally confident that you're going to

get the result. You see, I can give you the best possible tools in

the world, but if you're not in the right state when it becomes time

to use those tools, it's going to be worthless, you're not going to be

able to do anything with it. And that's why in my home study course,

raise your hand if you got the home study course, so we all know

about the unstoppable confidence tapes, do we all have those?

Audience: Yes

Ross: Does anyone listen to those.

Audience: Yes

Ross: Alright, the point of those exercises, sit towards the front if

you can, if you can find a seat towards the front do so, there's one

next to this gentleman, so sit there if you can or Yates make sure

they're properly ushered in. The point of those unstoppable confidence

tapes was not to passively listen, the point was to use them to build

the state for yourself where you're very powerful and you're able to do

what you need to do. I mean, how many people have ever been in a

situation when you meet, where you see a woman that you would like to

meet and you think of the exact right thing to say to her, an hour

later after she's walked out of your life forever, has it ever happened?

Audience: Yes, Oh yeah

Ross: So what I propose, I'm proposing some things that are fairly

preposterous. One of the things I'm proposing is you can learn to

control your states. Now we live in a society that teaches

that emotions are out of our control. I tend to propose two things:

(1) That you can control your own states; and (2) You can learn to

control and direct the states of the women that you want to control

and direct. Now traditional psychological thinking will tell you

that's impossible. I hope that you already know that they're are

wrong and I'm right and by the end of the evening, by the end of the

weekend, I'm sure you'll be convinced that I'm right. In fact, if

you were to find yourself being totally convinced by every word

I say, won't it be great after you've enjoyed a weekend filled with

being in that state of absolute suggestibility. Have you ever

experienced absolute suggestibility? As you find yourself reentering

that state, and allow my words to deepen and just intensify that state,

I feel great knowing that I'm helping you to learn. And so I think we should

start by giving me a big round of applause, huh?

Audience: Claps

Ross: There you go, there you go. Thank you. See, thank you and by the

way I just demonstrated some things, did anyone hear the embedded

commands and the other thing. Did anyone hear the weasel phrases

and other things. So, they're really just a couple of basics. Well,

that's basic (1) learning to control your own state and due to feedback

from my students in previous seminars, I will be taking you through

some exercises to help build that confidence and so when you walk out

with the unstoppable confidence tapes, you'll know how to work with

and better yourselves. Fair enough?

Audience: Yeah.

Ross: Ok. The other aspect of all this is that you can learn to

control and direct the states of the women, not just women, but in

any area of your life, I mean, my student, Mark, I'm very proud of

Mark. This is Mark xxxxxxx. Mark, stand up and take a bow, just

for a second. Mark has been using these skills, not just romantically

but in, shall we say, other areas.

Mark: Other areas.

Ross: So these skills are useful for persuading anyone. And let's talk

about the basics about that. What are the basics of using these skills

to persuade others? Let's look at some basic principles. And these

are in your notes. You should all have a set of notes. Basic

principles. Basic principles. This is what this is all about. Let's

set your notes down. What this is really about is creating a conversational

framework, a conversational framework that allows you to direct the

prophesis and emotional states of the woman that you want to seduce.

And what we do is we set up a framework where we do whatever we need to

to get these results. And it seems like normal conversation. Now,

there are two different styles of doing this. You can be conversational

and covert, that's where you just sneak things into your conversation,

or you can be very blatant and directive. Guess what? They both work.

How many people here have a fear of being caught using this stuff? Be

honest. You don't need to be afraid. Because I'm telling you when you

do this right, it doesn't matter. They will say things like, I know

you're doing this and it's still working. I know you're doing

something but it doesn't matter, this is working. I go that's right.

Let me give you an illustrated example of this. I like, personally

if I have my choice, I'd do this. I enjoy being blatant, I enjoy

telling people what to do and by the way for alot of women, it's a

turn on. When you're blatant and you're powerful about it, alot of

them, not all, are turned on by that, they think hey this guy is

really powerful. It's a skill to learn which one you're dealing with.

And sometimes you have to do a little trial and error to find out. If

I start out being blatant and I don't like the response that I'm getting,

I'll back off and be more conversational and covert. One of the skills

that you need to learn to really master this material at a powerful

level is the ability to back off if what you're doing isn't working.

And take a different approach. Ok. How many of you here has tried

some of this and when you tried it she wasn't responsing well, so you

just shut down and quit. Raise your hand if that's happened. Keep

your hands up. What's your name?

Eric: Eric

Ross: Eric, what was your experience? Tell your experience in trying

it and didn't get a good result so you backed off.

Eric: Well, there was a, this was a couple of months ago or actually three

weeks ago, I was talking to the receptionist at the doctor's office

and I figured, you know, I was just getting into the material, and I figured

ok, what the hell. We'll try something and I forget exactly what I

said to her, but I got a funny look, and so I just said, well ok, I'll just

you know, give her the credit card, get out.

Ross: Right, that is a mistake. Just because you get a funny look,

it doesn't mean that you can't try something else. Look guys, I'm not

just giving you nuclear weapons. I'm giving you neutron bombs,

full time torpedoes, xxxxxx tractor beams, xxxxxx. You know if

one thing doesn't work, you've got plenty tricks in the bag. Just back

up and do something else. Yes, your name?

Audience: Rick

Ross: Yeh

XXXX: That's funny, because I've noticed that they'll get that certain

look but that's right before they start going into trance.

Ross: That's right. Sometimes that look doesn't mean they're disagreeing,

it just means they're about to go into a deep trance. So you can't always

tell what those looks mean. The basic thing I want to give you guys is

a basic attitude that's going to help you. And that basic attitude

is the attitude that everything you do is an experiment. If you go in

there with the attitude of, oh, this is got to work, if it doesn't

work, I'm a pencil dick impenitent fool and all that, forget that, let that go.

The attitude that you want to get is hey, this is an experiment, if

it doesn't work, I've learned something and I can try something else.

Take the pressure off yourself. Take the pressure off yourself, it's

very important. So what we're doing is creating a conversational

framework and if something doesn't work, I step away from it. Let me

give you an example of this. Now let me give you an example of just how

blatant you can be. Last week I was at a taping, my friend Shawn,

who'll be here tomorrow probably, was taping a TV show. And after the

show I was backstage fooling around with one of the producers and I'll

show you how blatant I am. I said to her, I said you know, I said,

first of all, I was hitting on the other producer and she turned out

to have a boyfriend so I switched right over to this one, and it was

a serious boyfriend and I didn't want to bother with the boyfriend

destroyer which we'll get into later and I said I have an intuition

about you, and she said what's that, I said I have an intuition

that you're very visual, you make pictures in your head very well,

I said in fact, you have a talent. You're talent is you can look right

at someome and they think you're listening, but you can be making

movies in your mind of something that you'd rather be doing. And she

said, oh my God, that's right, how did you know that? I said I'll tell

you something else that I know about you. I said you motivate yourself,

stop and think of something that really motivates you, something you

just can't wait to do and I saw this, her pupils dialated. When you

see this, when they don't have to look up to visualize, when they do

this, that means they're really visual. If you start out talking

about feelings with these women, they're not going to get it, because

they're processing pictures, ok. So she went, yeah, you got it, I

said do you have that thing, she said yeah, I said it's a big picture

in front of your face isn't it? She said yeah. I said and notice as you

take the picture and pull it away and make it smaller, doesn't it seem

less motivating? And she went oh my God, yes it does. I said, but

then, there's like a blank spot there that wants to be filled in.

Audience: Laughs

Ross: Now you guys know where I'm going with this. I said so notice

what it's like as an image of you and I laughing over a cup of

coffee, just sneaks itself and locks itself right in there. Doesn't it

make it seem like it's something you want to do and she starts

laughing, she said, my God, I know you just shoved it in there but

it's working anyway. I said absolutely right. I said you know after

we've gone for coffee and you've fallen for me completely I wonder

if you'll be willing to share with me just exactly what it was about

me that caused you to come to that conclusion. because alot of women thinks

it's my sense of humor. I do make you laugh, don't I? And she

laughed, you know which of course is proof that I hold things until they take

place. So of course, it all works, you see. That's how blatant

I am. You can be that blatant. Now, when we went for coffee, I did

one thing that she didn't like. And she said, you know, I don't

really comfortable with that, I said that's right. That's why you

need a much more respectful and gentle approach from me and that's

why I would never do that.

Audience: Laughs

Ross: And when I did it, I thought she might have an objection so I said,

if I were to say to you, and then I said the thing that she didn't like.

And that gives me an out. Remember, when we talked, does everyone,

is everyone familiar with that phrase, if I were to say to you. Remember,

if I were to, our famous weasel phrase. Who is not familiar with that?

It's a weasel phrase, ok. If I were to, we'll get to that. By saying,

if I were to, it allowed me to step back from it, ok. I've done other

stuff, how many people have tried have you ever? Have you ever felt

a sense of incredible connection and all you get is yeah, but they don't

show that doggie dinner bowl look that I talk about. Have you ever

experienced that? Raise your hand. Ok, I've experienced that too.

There's a couple of ways around that one. I did that with a woman, I

said, have you ever felt like you just wanted to be swept off your feet?

She went, no. I said, so I'll try it again. I said well, have you ever

met someone that you outrageously attracted to. She went yeah. Sometimes

just asking for feelings doesn't work. They're so visually, that you have

to start with images. And I'll show you how to do that. So, just

because you've tried something and it doesn't click in right away, hey,

stop a minute. Think of a deer hunter. You're a deer hunter but you

don't have one shot in your rifle, you've got a thousand round

magazine and the deer is tied to a stake.

Audience: Laughs

Ross: I'm using a horrible metaphor. But the point of the matter is

so the first round doesn't go off, you go oh well the deer is going to get

away. No, I want you to visualize a deer looking into the headlights of

an oncoming car. And if you miss on the first pass, pull around back over

the deer and come in. I want you to have that kind of flexibility,

where if it doesn't work, step back, do another one. Ok. Because I'm

telling you there are ways around and I'll tell you something else. With

some of these women, if it doesn't work right away, three weeks later

they call you and say, can I come over. You think I'm bullshitting.

How many people think I'm bullshitting them. I'm not bullshitting,

that's the way it works. That's the way it works, so don't worry about

it. It is getting, how many people have had women laugh as they're doing

things. That is the best sign in the world. They're not laughing it

off, they're laughing it in. I'll say it again. They're not laughing

it off, they're laughing it in. It is the laugh of unconscious

recognition. So that's a good sign. Does that make sense?

Audience: Yes

Ross: Ok, so the basic principle here is look for an opening. At first

you might have to test different approaches to get a strong response.

Once you've got that strong response, go for it. Now, let's talk about

the ability to see the responses that you're getting. Look up here. Look

at me. You can do all the patterns in the world, word for word perfect,

but if you're not watching the response, you're not going to get any

where. Ok. And I'm not talking about tiny responses, you want a strong

response. Here's how you know if you're getting a strong response. You

know, you get the doggie dinner bowl look. Does everyone know what the

doggie dinner bowl look is? Who doesn't know? Raise your hand. The

doggie dinner bowl look is, I tell the story, my dalmations, I use to

have dalmations as a teenager and they had me very well trained. I knew

at 4:00 in the afternoon it was my job to go get the dinner bowl, hold it

up, and the dogs would go. Ok. When you get that doggie, when they're

showing you that doggie dinner bowl look, you know, their face is flushing

and their pulpils have dialated and they're breathing heavy, ok, sometimes

what you hear is they're just start talking enthusiastically. Sometimes

when you use have you ever, have you ever felt the sense of incredible

connection, they start talking about it. Have you had that happen when

you've used have you ever? Anybody?

Audience: Yes

Ross: Let them talk because they will give you information about what

you need to do to seduce them. They will tell you about it. Let them

talk. So what that they don't go into the state immediately, they get

themselves into the state by describing the experience or recalling it.

And they're tell you exactly what you need to do to put them back into

that state so you use the information. You know the old phrase,

you can pay me now, you can pay me later. You can lay me now or you can

lay me later. Because they will either go into the state or they will

give you the information you need to behaviorally get it, get what you

want. Does that make sense?

Audience: Yes

Ross: So, there is no losing in this. It's either winning now or winning

twenty minutes from now or winning a few weeks down the line. Does that

make sense?

Audience: Yes

Ross: And Mark will testify to this and some of my other students who will

be here tomorrow. Jason, one of my top students was going to be here. He

left a message in my service, he said well something wonderful has happened

and he played me a message from this woman saying, I can't wait to come

over and fuck your brains out and have the hottest sex, you're so sexy

God, I hear your voice in my mind all the time. I just want your dick,

blah, blah. So he said, sorry Ross, I can't make it. But I'll be there

Saturday and Sunday, so Jason will come xxx of it specifically

happens. Ok. People are basically hypnosis machines. Let me talk about

this principle. This is very important in any kind of persuasion that you want

to do. Let me tell you what I mean by this. People are use to content.

People are use to hearing reasons why they should do something or information

about the product, you should buy this because it's got a four on the

floor, six hundred millimeter engine, blah, blah, blah. People are use

to content and because of that they resist it. People are not use to

having the direction and the process of their mind directed in control.

They are not use to that. And because they are not use to that, they

don't resist it. So it behooves you to use the skills I'll teach you

to direct the process of someone's mind so that they're ready for any

content that you want to give them. So, if you say something like, you

know, I think you'll find as you listen carefully, and become even

more fascinated, it allows you to go inside and find all the reasons

why, what I'm saying is so important, to the point where you'll just

find yourself riveted on every word. Now let me tell you what I have

to say to you. Ok. If you xxxxx it puts them in, now, they're not

use to resisting that. They're not even use to hearing it, that's why

they don't resist it. Do you understand? That's why you want to

direct the process of someone's thoughts. Do we understand the

difference between process and content?

Audience: Yes

Ross: What is the difference? Can anyone explain it to me. Anyone

care to take a crack at it. I know you're my scholar but let's try

someone experientially. Yes, your name is?

Greg: Greg

Ross: Greg, what's the difference.

Greg: Well content is telling you something, I want you to do this or

whatever

Ross: Rigbt

Greg: And process is before I tell you what I'm going to do, this is

how it's going to infiltrate you.

Ross: Right. You're basically telling their mind how to go into a

trance and how to respond to what you're about to tell them. Ok. People

don't resist this. You would not believe how fucking blatant I have been

lately and it works. I mean to the point where she said you just shoved

your hand in my face and shoved that picture right up in my face. I said

that's right but notice how it makes no difference whatsoever as you go

inside and allow those feelings to intensify as that picture gets bigger

doesn't it and they went yeah. So if you're powerful enough with this

you can be blatant as hell. I like pushing it, I want to see how

blatant I can get and no matter what they throw my way I will duck out

of my way and come right back at them. Bart is a witness to this. Yeah,

this is my friend Bart xxxxxx from Dallas, Texas. They guy who does the

xxxxxxx and the hand writing. That's him right there. Bart, huh, Bart was

talking to a woman on the phone and her friend was where, her friend

Jean, Jeannie is very hard bitten, he put Jeannie on the phone so I was

talking to Jeannie and Bart was listening in on my scanner.

Bart: She said she may be here

Ross: Well, she's not here now. Ok, and Jeannie was really hard bitten

and everytime I'd, you know, I tried a few things and she would step

away from it but then I would come right back at her. So when I asked

about, you know, have you ever met someone and you just felt like

you wanted to be seduced, she said no I believe, that you know, we should

people should be friends first, so all I did was elicit from her what

her values were in a relationship and how she knows someone is a good

friend and then I just started applying those rules in my conversation

with her and before you know it she starts opening up completely. Did

she not soften completely?

Bart: I'd never heard her like that

Ross: Like a lamb to a slaughter. I hate to use these xxxxxx words but

it's just amazing to me, if you run into a brick wall, brick walls

crumple really hard so don't worry about it. You want to develop that

kind of flexibility. You know what, go out and try to get caught. I

want you to have the experience of getting caught and slipping right,

think of yourself as an eel smeared with vasoline, ok, you will be

able to flip and slide out of anything. So don't worry about getting

caught. Every decision, can we get the water Yates.

Yates: Yeah, he's short on staff, as soon as he gets here xxxxx

Ross: Ok, well, every decision is constantly being remade and every

decision is state depended. If you don't like the decision change the

state first. Let me tell you what I mean by this. Let's say a woman

says well you know I'm sorry I just decided I'm not sleeping with anyone

for the next six months, I really need to heal from xxxxx, whatever

bullshit she gives you. Ok, if you try to argue with her when she's

in that frame of mind, what's going to happen? What's going to

happen? You're going to lose. We never want to put strength against

strength. We never want to push against resistance. Ever. Not only

with a female but in any persuasion situation. Because, particularly

with a woman they have the power. They have the ultimate control over

sex and that's a tremendous power. People say I don't respect women.

And I have to tell you tonight that's absolutely true. No, I'm kidding.

I'm kidding. I am kidding. I do respect women, and I more importantly,

I'll tell you why I do respect women. They're more in touch with

things on a value level than men. They do have a deeper understanding

of their own deep structure. It's true. But, more importantly I

respect their power. I respect the power of almost every woman because

they have tremendous power, they control our access to sex. Is that

not a power you would like to have?

Audience: Oh, yeah.

Ross: And one of the things I do, one of the things I do with my

students, you see is, I'm screwing up the power balance guys, the normal

power balance in society is they have access to sex, we have access to

the money. I'm screwing it up. I'm screwing it so they are pursuing

us, that they're the aggressors, they're the ones who wind up wanting

to pay for stuff. Am I lying or am I telling the truth?

Audience: Telling the truth

Ross: I am telling the truth. Let's face it. So, I'm giving you back

a tremendous amount of powers so it's worth the investment to go out and

use this stuff in the real world. So every good decision is constantly being

remade. So if, someone you know, if someone's in the state of being

disagreeable you've got to get them out of that state. Children, by the way,

are instinctive users of this knowledge. Watch a little kid get something

from the parent. What does the kid do? Kid observes the parent. And

the kid watches to see when the parent is going to be in the right mood

and the minute the parent is in the right mood the kid pounces, doesn't

hesitate, goes right into action, gets a commitment. Mommy, will you buy

me this toy? Ok. And mommy says ok, and the kid says you promise,

mommy says yes, so the kid gets a commitment and if mommy doesn't take

action, what does the kid do? Remind mommy of the commitment. Until

mommy gives the kid what the kid wants. Ok. You as a seducer and a

persuader need to look at the state the person is in and if you don't

like the state, change the state. Does that make sense? And I'll give

you some powerful tools to do that. You should be familiar with some

of them already. Time distortion is perhaps the most powerful tool you

can use. All of the tools I teach you are powerful but if I had to name

one of them that is just, just unbelieveable, it is time distortion.

Mark, what's your opinion on the use of time distortion, how powerful

would you say that is?

Mark: It got me one hell of a job

Ross: It got him one hell of a job. Why don't you stand up and tell

that story, how you used time distortion to get yourself a job.

Mark: I was looking for a new job and I'd given resumes out to a few

people and I did have an interview with this guy and one thing I did

notice about him he was xxxxx. I was trying to fit that in there. If

you, my interview, so I didn't get a chance to use that, but I told him

Ross: Look here Mark.

Mark: As you look here at my resume, as you look at my resume I am sure

you can think of all the things you look for in a corporate attorney,

as you think about all the ways those values could be fulfilled, wouldn't

it be great after you've hired the right person and you just look back

on that and think that was the best decision I ever made.

Ross: And so what does he do? He gets the guy to go into his future where

he has already hired him, so you present it as a fait accompli. Time

distortion

is just unbelieveable. I have found however I can sneak that in,

which ever way I can do it, I have alot of different ways to do it, if

I can time distort a woman the fight is over. That's it. It's over.

It may take a while, sometimes it takes a couple of weeks for her to call

me up and go ok, let's go. You know, sometimes it happens right on the

spot. There are varying degrees of suggestibility. Some people are

more suggestible than others, some people have more barriers than

others. Some women are naturally more paranoid, some have just been

hurt, so with some it's going to take a little bit more effort because

there's, either they're not as suggestible or they just have their

barriers up, they have their guard up. Ok. Does that make sense?

Audience: Yeah

Ross: So you have to be aware of that. But time distortion is just

unbelieveable. Look, hang on just a second. If you, I never want

to go through resistance, I either want to go before it or after it.

The best way to get someone to do something is have them hallucinate

a future where they've already given you what you want and they've

experience tremendous pleasure doing so. Because you can't resist

what already happened. If it's already happened, then it's too

late to do anything but relax. Because you're about to get what you

want. What you've been wanting haven't you? What can they do. Yes,

your question?

Audience: Is it necessary to know all their barriers?

Ross: Is it necessary to know all their barriers? No, but what will

happen is you'll see them coming up. If they have a gruff attitude

or you know, they're kinda naturally. You have to make a judgment,

guys, by the way. You have to evaluate. You have to look at the

person who's in front of you, ask yourself what do I want, and is this

person worth the effort that I'll have to put into it. Some people

are alot of work and then just basically not worth it. You know, if

a woman meets the values that I'm looking for, if she's intelligent

and is great company and alot of other things I don't care to go into,

I'll put some more work into it as long as I don't have to spend any

money.

Audience: Laughs

Ross: Well, you don't. Look guys one rule I want to give you is dating

is for women who you are already sleeping with, dating is not the vehicle

that you use to seduce a woman. If you take a woman out and spend money

on her before you're sleeping with her I will personally reach my arm through

the mail and slap you in the face. I'm serious. I cannot think of a

dumber way to impress, you know, I kick, the only thing, check this out.

This works so beautifully I can't believe it. I would kick myself if

I didn't already have a big pain in my right buddock. Take them, meet

them for coffee. The first time you meet a woman, say well look, let's

just go for coffee right now or I'll meet you for coffee. Why do I say

that? No. 1 it's alot safer. If you're a woman living in LA, it's,

or any big city, it's kinda scary, you don't know who you're dealing with.

Particularly, all these things in the news. There's a new axe murder

every night. I mean if I were a woman I would be wearing a kevlar bra and

packing a gun. Ah, ok, I am wearing kevlar right now, I'm, but I'm

serious, so it's one thing to say give me your phone number, I'll come

pick you up, it's another thing to say look, you know, I think as you

find yourself really wanting to spend some time with me, it'll seem

much more agreeable if we just meet for a cup of coffee. Would you be

willing to do that? Just, wouldn't you say that makes you feel alot

safer if a guy says let's meet. Because then you can just, if you don't

like him, you drive away. If you really want him, then you can drive

away with him. See my point? Do you see this point?

Audience: Yes

Ross: So, meet him for coffee or take him for coffee. I prefer meeting

him for coffee. That way they don't have to see what shitty car I'm

driving.

Audience: Laughs

Ross: You spend no money and why do you want them over coffee? I'm to

the point where I can do this over food. But the problem of doing it over

food is, if they like their food and they're shoving pasta xxxxx of xxxxx

and shrimp in their mouth and you go have you ever just felt like you

wanted to be seduced, xxxxxx and if they like to eat, forget it man. You

don't want any xxxxxx, a waiter could interrupt you, you know. I

remember, I was right at the point and she was about to, you know,

spasm at the table, the waiter goes well how are we doing tonight,

can I.

Audience: Laughs

Ross: All that work down the tube. Meet them for coffee. If they insist

on you spending money, that's fine. I'm exaggerating a little bit, if you

want to spend money because you enjoy doing that, take me to dinner.

Audience: Laughs

Ross: I gotta tell you this story, an example of, getting back on this

point about not worrying about getting caught. This producer, I had

coffee, I had a lunch date with her day before yesterday and I want to

tell you something. I've met some smart women in my time but this

woman was really smart. She was, I had to tap dance to stay ahead

of her, and even then I could just stay one step ahead of her. And she's

quite a manipulator too. She was telling me that her big challenge,

and I'll show you this pattern later tonight, where her job is she has

to manipulate people who are guests on the talk show to say things that

they really don't want to say. And she said you know I can do it but

I feel really bad about it. She said, and I'll even look at a person,

she says and I'll size them up, I'll think to myself what would work

with this person. And if it doesn't work, I'll move on to something

else. She said I'm just like you. She said I know that you thought

of what approach you'd use with me today and you probably wouldn't use

an approach on me that you wouldn't use on somebody that's less

intelligent. I said that's right. And doesn't it feel great

to know that someome was willing to go to all that work just for

you. What a wonderful guy.

Audience: Laughs

Ross: And everything that she threw at me, I just took a step back

and used it as evidence in my favor. Here's another example. At

one point I asked her, you know, have you ever met somebody that you

just were overwhelmingly attracted. And she said yeah, and I had

her point to where she sees that picture. Can we do that, not while

I'm lecturing please, put it in the back of the room and they can

go to the back of the room and get it. Ok. So I had her point to

the picture, ok, where do you see that? I said so you know, notice

what it's like, it's for whatever mysterious reason a picture of me

just sneaks itself, powers itself right there, doesn't that feel

great? And she went yeah, but I don't know if I'm feeling this

because I really feel it or you put the picture there. So how many

at this point would give up and go ut oh or shut down? Do you think

I gave up? Here's what I said to her. I said well that's right

but you see it really doesn't matter why you're feeling this, all

that matters is you're feeling the way you really like to feel that

don't you? And she said yeah. But I knew she still had the trust

issue so I said, ok, let me show you something. I said take your hand

and just shove the picture down. Make it go away. She said ok. I

said now if the picture comes back on it's own you know you really feel

that way. So I left the picture down there. What did I do? Five

minutes later, I said now look, let's consider this. I shoved it

right back up there. Did she know I did that? No, because I just

dropped it but five minutes later I shoved the picture back up there.

So she was looking at it again and feeling the same way.

Audience: Just your hand and not a comment about it, just a visual

sign or were you saying something

Ross: I showed her where to put the picture to make it go away and the

picture was still there. It was over here. So later I'll just go

look, let consider something. I took the picture and shoved it back

up there.

Audience: So it was just a visual sign

Ross: Yeah, yeah.

Audience: Ok

Ross: Back the picture went

Audience: What were you talking about to justify your arm movement?

Ross: Oh really I talk with my arms. Now, how whimpy can you get?

Audience: Laughs. I need to justify the fact that I'm going to

raise my hand,

Ross: Come on, and we will talk about jestures. You need to learn

your jestures. You know I talk about pointing to yourself to anchor

things, guys, it's a subtle gesture, it is not air strike you know.

Have you ever met someone (audience laughs) you know, who you've been

totally, not doing the freaking limbo, keep your gestures. We're

going to work on this but keep your gestures near your body. Don't

put them too, any further outside of your body than this. When you're

pointing to yourself. I am not talking about these, but when you

referring to yourself, keep it like this, I'll go, did you ever meet

somebody that you've just felt like you wanted to be seduced. That's

fine. That's ok. When you're going to do the blow job pattern, it's

not, I think those thoughts are blow me, slide your hand down, you

go, I think those thoughts are blow me. xxxx do you get it?

Audience: Laughs

Ross: It's subtle. It's subtle. Ok. By the way we are going to

do a video called how to get your girlfriend, wife or date to blow you.

We're going to sell it for $19.95 and build a tremendous name with

us. We'll sell millions of those. I did warn you about the language,

didn't I. She's cool. Ok. Ok, next item. Listen to me. However,

you can do it, and whatever way you can do it, create states of

powerful emotional connection before moving on to sexual arousal.

Can anyone tell me why we do that?

Audience: It's very simple to seduce if they're involved with you.

And like you xxxx

Ross: Right. He said if they already like you and feel involved

with you, then whatever you want to get from them is much easier.

Ok, so create those states first, unless you don't give a flick about

the girl, you can tell she's highly sexual or you've already have

established that kind of connection. If you've been friends with

a woman for a long time and she already feels some kind of link

with you, the only thing that's missing is some kind of attraction.

Go ahead and do a sexual arousal pattern. Ok, but for the most

part you want to wait to do those in the right sequence. I was

having an argument with some idiot on the Internet who said well

your stuff just works it's xxxxx effect. Guys just feel more

confident so it works. I said no, no. I said first of all

they can have no confidence at all and try the patterns, if they

do it right, it's going to work. And secondarily, they can have all

the confidence in the world, but if they don't do it in the right

order and sequence it just doesn't work at all. So that's not the

case. You have to do it in the right sequence. Challenge is where

the fun is. If it isn't easy, then at least make it fun. I enjoyed my

little lunch date with this producer because she was a challenge. She

kept me tap dancing. I had to continuously stay on my toes to stay

a step ahead of her. But you know what's funny, at the end of the

lunch date, she said, I feel like you know everything about me and

I know nothing about you. I said and isn't it great when you feel

that sense of entry growing to the point where you know you have to

see that person again. And you find yourself just obsessing on that need

to spend time with them. And she laughed and she said you're doing

it again. I said that's right and it sure is working isn't it?

And she went

Audience: Laughs

Ross: So, look don't worry about getting caught, just forget all that.

Just let that go. Because you'll be able to play your way through this.

I hope I'm inspecting you with my spirit. Because

Audience: Yes

Ross: Because you want to carry this out

Audience: xxxxx

Ross: Oh, well, there you go. You see, challenge is where the fun is.

If it's not easy, life is not meant to be easy, but life was meant to be

fun. If you're not going to have fun in the process, then what's the

point. And also this is a very sexy attitude. A guy who is not put

off and but is also not hungry, and is having fun in the process of

courtship, a woman is attracted to that. A man who'll playfully

court her without being pushy, a man who is persistent, but at the same

time is not pushy or needy but is playful about it. Is that the

attitude, ok. Eventually you're going to come around and see what

a great deal it is and in the mean time I'll play and have fun with

you. That's very sexy. You know, I'm telling you something, you can

look like a freaking pig and many of my students do and still it doesn't

make any difference because it's a very rare attitude. It's a very

rare approach. You become one man in a million. When you add on to

that, being able to control her emotional states, being able to fulfil

her highest values unlike any man in the world has ever done and there

is nothing that this. They will do anything for you, you have a natural

monopoly, because no one, look unlike what the jackasses on the Internet

say, I'm not teaching men to be abusive. I'm teaching men to control

through pleasure where the woman wants to please you becuase you are

pleasing her so much it's like her deepest fantasies. You know when

she was a little girl all curled up in warmth dreaming of that ideal

man and she just starts to feel like you met that person, to the point

where, wow, you'll give him anything. Mark, would you agree that when

you put, I mean, would you girlfriend do anything for you?

Mark: Pretty much

Ross: Pretty much. Here's the Jones brothers. I know, I know you're

not, I know you're not, come on in. Come on in, you're not worthy.

Now which is Mark and which is Shawn? It's been a while. You're

Mark.

Mark: Yep

Ross: Shawn

Shawn: Yeah

Ross: Come on,

XXXXXX: It sounds sexier.

Ross: No, sit down boys. Do you have room there or do you. Alright.

Which ever way. They came all the way out from, twin chiropractors,

by the way I need to get work done. I think I have a, what's that

nerve. What's the nerve back here?

XXXXX: xxxx nerve

Ross: xxxx nerve, yeah, I think I have a problem there. So. My father

is in DC, retired. Ok, use and combine patterns together. Don't just use

one. Flow hitting. Look, I had someone to call me and say hey Ross,

I used an embedded command. Oh, great.

Audience: Laughs

Ross: That's like saying, we went to bed, I gave her a good stroke. Look,

I will show you how to set up a conversational framework where you can keep

throwing these patterns out, ok. You don't want to do one pattern and

find yourself drawing a blank. You want to be able to move from pattern

to pattern to pattern. Mark, come here, stand up. Mark is trained in

some martial arts but he also saw some videos with my friend, Dr. Jackel

xxxxxx. Dr. xxxxxx is trained in NLP and xxxxxx teaches something called

flow hitting. The idea is there are some dumb styles in martial arts.

Like show de con. Does anyone do show de con. What's wrong with

show de con. It's you've locked your punch out. All this stuff.

When you lock your punch out, (1) you get your arm broken but (2) you

can't do anything else with it once you thrown it. You have to pull it

back, xxxxxx teaches flow hitting and I teach flow hitting in terms

of these patterns where one can blend right into the next one. Mark

show some flow hitting. Do not hit me or I'll not be able to do the

seminar.

Mark: Flow hit. Like in some xxxxx karate, teach you to, you know,

hit like this and all this.

Ross: See he just threw like six punches in less than a second.

Mark: That's a flow hit

Ross: It's flowing. Go ahead and have a seat. Thank you.

Mark: Now you're going to drop over dead.

Ross: Ok, so what I want to teach you guys is I want to teach you the

ability to flow with these patterns, to move from one to the next. Ok,

so when you see that opening, when you see that response, you start

exploiting it. Ok, my mind set is when I start this, I'm looking for

a strong response, I'm looking for that opening. And as soon as I see

it, boom, I'm on it. Boom, boom, boom, no mercy. Bam, Bam, Bam,

finish the fight. Remember Muhammad Ali, anyone have the privilege

of watching Muhammad when he was in his prime, when he was young. I

remember watching one fight. I was a kid and the guys were all ready

for Muhammad Ali comes in there, what you see is a look of

astonishment on the opponent's face. The guy is thinking I don't know

how to fight this guy. I tried everything, nothing is working and

Ali when he was young, would tease him for a couple of rounds, you

know, and you can see the look when they were about to go down, the look

was not fear it was astonishment. It was like. So, you are going to

be able to flow like that. And when you see the opening, you don't wait.

The minute you see the opening, finish it, bam. I not talking about

violence, please. I'm using the aggressive metaphor because I want,

I think too many of you guys used to before be passive before you walked

into this room. I want to put the spirit into of going for it. Ok, we

are not talking about force, we are not talking about violence, or any of

that and in this politically correct bullshit era I have to, it's a

shame I have to even mention it explicitly like this but again, I'm

talking about having a vital and forceful spirit. Does this make sense?

Audience: Yeh

Ross: Ok, we'll talk about the skills. Turn to page 2 of your notes. Does

everyone have notes? Let's talk about the skills you need to make this

work. The first skill you need, look up here, is the ability to

observe and to see what response you are getting. Shall I repeat that?

The ability to observe and see what response that you're getting. In

order to do that, you have to be doing what, you have to be and, louder

I can't hear you, and to do that you can't be in your head worrying is

this working, oh, oh, does she like me, what if I blow it, you have to

turn all that crap off, xxxx I'll show you how to do this later. Flip

that switch to off, pull the plug on that. You have to be totally

focused on what response you're getting. You can't have, get out of

your own way. Step out of your own way and turn all that crap off and

just focus in on the response you're getting. Now, how many here,

God help me, how many here have ever taken an NLP training with anyone

besides me? How many, alot, who did you train with?

Audience: Carol xxxxx

Ross: Who? Carol xxxxx I don't know her but

Audience: Tony Robbins

Ross: Tony Robbins, anyone else. Huh, Cheatwood, I'd change that

name. Cheatwood. It's like a name in the W.C. Fields movie, the name

is Swindel, Horace xxxxx Swindel. Come on in and have a seat. Ok,

so, in alot of NLP trainings, they're train you and what they call

xxxxx xxxxxx what I call bullshit. xxxxxx xxxxx they teach you to

look for the slighest change in skin color or like a twitch in the upper left

xxxxx of the lower right eye lid. Did Tony show you any of this?

Did you learn any of that from Cheatwood? Did Cheatwood show you any

of that? What crap. Let me tell you something.

Audience: Laughs

Ross: If the only response you're getting, if the response you're

getting is so meager that you need a magnifying glass to see it, then

you'd better learn how to

Ross: xxxx to teach you a one day class for the learning annex on

Saturdays, I quit. The class Jackie was in was the last one I did.

But someone said to me when you first came in here I thought you were

arrogant. I said, well I am but you know, what can I say, you know

I'm the best.

Audience: Why did you quit?

Ross: Because the learning annex I say this publicly is a bunch of dip

shit assholes who couldn't think their way out of a wet paper sack.

Audience: xxxxx

Ross: Thank you for sharing Yates. Ok. Skill No. 2. and we talked

about this. The flexibility to change to something else if you aren't

getting the response you want. If you try, have you ever, let's take

that one. Have you ever felt the sense of incredible connection, yet

and then you get no. Instead of giving up you can go well have you

ever felt really attracted to someone. Keep going until you get that

response. Do you understand. Keep going until you get the response

because eventually you will. Or step back and shift to something else.

Does this make sense? I know, stop a minute, close your eyes. Everyone

has some, when I say close your eyes, I want the lids down. Anyone who's

lids do not close will find their sexual future shrinking away,

rapidly, rapidly. Some of us don't have long to wait. I want you to

think of some situation where you have alot of flexibility where

something gets thrown in your path, you shift around and you keep

going. I don't care what context it is. And as you think of that

thing I want you to raise your hand in the air, raise your hand in

the air, do it and make a fist, raise your arm all the way up in the

air, make a fist and as you bring that hand down I want you to increase

that feeling of utter flexibility and ferociousness that you go for

what you want and keep going. And do it again. Think of that thing

again, raise your hand in the air and as you do that, think to yourself,

yes, don't say it but think to yourself. And remember that feeling

of being flexible and you go to the next thing. Ok, one more time.

And this time in your mind's eye, I want you to see some woman that

you would really like to seduce and see her not responding the way

you'd like to. As you put your hand down, notice how you can increase

that feeling, hey, I'm going to try something else and keep going.

Nothing is going to stop me. Do you get that? Alright. Open your

eyes and look at me. By the way, one administrative point, Kendrick

Cleveland will not be here. Don't worry about it, we have enough

to teach where we don't have room for him. So don't worry about that.

Allow yourself to forget it. No, that's good. Ability No 3. Is the

ability to be patient and learn from trial and error. I know you all admire

me as the great xxxxx and you're not worthy and all that other shit but

guess what. I make mistakes with this. But I don't want to think of

making mistakes, I have learning. I occasionally do things, guess

what, they don't work the way I've planned. Guess what? I get

excited. Kent and Mark here had lunch with me and the first thing

I asked them was what have you done that doesn't work? Tell me about

what you've done where it didn't work. Did I not say that? Because

that's where I get excited. That tells me I'm about to step into a

new level of power. If something isn't working, congratulate yourself

because you're about to find out what does work. You're about to

learn something new. Without that mind set, you will be at best

mediocre with this material. With this mind set no matter what

blocks you may start out with, you will leave them behind quickly and

go wherever you want to with the material. May I have a glass please.

Audience: I was just getting it for you

Ross: You're a God. Does this make sense?

Audience: Yes

Ross: I honestly, you know, if nothing else, there are so many

different advantages, you can have with this material. But if nothing

else, if all you do is really begin to live the attitude that there are

no failures, there's only learnings, you will be ahead 99% of the

people in society. Because we live in a society of fighting sheep.

We live in a society where people are made to be fearful, so big

brother, can easily control them. I want to break you of that. The

most revolutionary that you can do in any society is build proud,

independent, fearless people who are in control of their own lives.

This scares the shit out of the godfathers in Washington, Moscow, and

anywhere else. Who knows, maybe one day I may be teaching you from jail.

I don't know.

Audience: Laughs

Ross: Free Ross, he freed our, your name again. Walk over here so the

microphone can pick you up. Yes sir.

Audience: Have you ever had

Ross: Oh yes, I have

Audience: xxxx what you're doing or any of your methods are not

working the woman is either getting bored annoyed or irritated at

seemingly stupid things

Ross: Well I never allow it to go that far. The minute I see them

giving a negative response I back up and I do something else.

Audience: But if you keep going a year ahead where she just doesn't

respond to that behavior

Ross: Well, nothing responds. You know what, I had that once. One

time when I was quite as skilled, looking back on it now, I would have

been able to get past it. So I don't think, with what I'm going to show

you over the next few days, I can't conceive of a situation unless

she's brain dead. Literally, in a coma. You know. Huh, I will say

this, the more intelligent the woman is the better it works. Time and

again I find, the dumber they are the harder it is to get it to work.

I cannot work too well with dummies. With dummies I just move the

pictures around. I'm serious. I don't like dummies. I can attract

to anyone I want so why bother with a stupid woman. I won't do it.

I would encourage you all to take on the challenge of finding the most

intelligent woman you can find. Smarter is always better. And even

if they have a hard edge to them, when you break through that, they

surrender completely. They're all looking for someone to surrender

to but the challenge is they need to know that that man is worthy

of being surrendered to. And that's a terrible hard challenge. Because

most men just aren't worthy. They truly aren't. You will be worthy

because you will know how to match every value she holds dear with

precision and no guess work. Ok. And I must warn you, anyone who

is under your influence is also under your protection. And the same

way that you are under my protection because you are under my influence,

and the more you think you're not, the more much deeper and much more

suggestible part is even becoming more influenced now.

Audience: How does that work, surrounder by my protection, what does

that mean?

Ross: Huh, that means if someone is under your influence you have

an obligation not to abuse your power. Ok. What I have found is

people say won't your students go out and screw over every woman

they meet. I'll go, oh yeah, at first, sure. But no what happens is

the powerful you become, you'll find the more gentier you'll become.

Now one of my students, Alex, didn't believe me and went out and

used this in an abusive way and he got his ass kicked. She

harrassed the hell out of him, she'd called him up at 3:00 in

the morning and go, I'm going to come over and cut your cock off

if I catch you with another woman, I'll cut your cock off. She

sued him for all sorts of things and it was an horrible experience.

You don't need to do that. You will get so much power through

pleasure that you don't need to be a putt. You really don't. Up

until I came along, usually it was only the assholes that had that

kind of power. Ok, you can be a good guy and a good hearted guy

and still be very successful if you use my material. Does that make

sense?

Audience: Yeah

Ross: Why is that true? Because you're creating pleasure states and

also touching them at the deepest level of their identity and their values.

Does that make sense?

Audience: Yes

Ross: I'll talk a little bit about the slater. Now, sometimes you'll

run into the situation where you create emotional states and stuff

with a woman who is not appropriate for you to be with. Because they're

so screwed up you're better off without them. But I will show you how

to quickly elicit their model of the world to find out if they're

screwed up or not. And then you make the decision if you want to

take on this person. One of my students who is not here, where is

Kent.

Audience: He's at work, he should be by 10:30.

Ross: Kent had the experience of getting a bikini model in bed, like

the first time she tried this stuff, and she turned out to be a total

freak and she came at him with a knife. So, you know, some stones

are best left unturned. And if you can't be grateful for what you

received, be grateful for what you managed to avoid. xxxxxx Does that

make sense?

Audience: Yeah

Ross: Now you've already learned enough in the past hour to justify

your investments, so go home.

Audience: Laughs

Ross: Ability No. 4. Ability to move from one pattern to the next.

We've already talked about this and I will go over some transitional

phrases that will allow you to move from any pattern to any other

pattern. Even if, it makes it logically seem, it's nothing more fun

to me than making it seem like my ideas are logically connected when

there's no logical connection at all. I'm just connecting them so

I can ram patterns in. Ok. And there's certain phrases, now here's another

thing. Or here's something else that is interesting. It doesn't have

to be any logical connection to be any ideas at all, And Mike goes ok.

That's sound like it should follow, but it doesn't. It's very hard

not to be insufferable pleased with myself.

Audience: Laughs

Ross: By the way, huh, speaking of insufferable, I need to introduce

my partner and friend and surrogate daddy, Dr. Yates Canipe. Please

give him a big xxxx

Audience: Claps

Ross: I'm very fortunate to have found Yates as a partner and also

as a friend, because he's into this. He's experimental, he believes

in it and he'll pick up the ball and run with it. So I'm grateful

and he does keep me running. He's my facilitator, stay away from

her Bruce, she's my guest. Leave her alone.

Bruce: It's not my fault

Yates: One thing about, you don't like the flexibility in here,

the exercises some of the students have done it and has been very

successful, is take your flash cards, shuffle them, pick a subject,

any subject, it can be sex with two women or baseball, start talking

about it and use the top card, whatever it is, then you need to go

to the next one and use that phrase going into your trend of thoughts.

Ross: And I will give you some tools and techniques that I developed

subsequent to my previous seminars so it will enable you to learn these

things much better. I will be teaching how to learn. Ok. Look at

No. 5. What is No. 5? Out loud please.

Audience: xxxxx

Ross: Did you notice I put it in double sized type in bold letters

and everything capitalized. Do you think that means that I think it's

important.

Audience: Hell yeah

Ross: There are two major problems that my students haven't been

getting this. (1) Is their confidence, they just don't believe they

can do it and I know that maybe prior before coming here you use to

believe that and the second problem is tonality. Some of you, your

tonality, up until tonight sucked. It just sucks. I had a guy to

call me up, I get this all the time, ring, ring, hello. Ron, my

name is Johnny and I don't know, sometimes I use this stuff

and it's not working. I'll go, oh yeah, I wonder why. You must

learn to control your tonality and we're going to do some exercises

right now to do that. Will you be able to control your tonality

just from this one exercise?

Audience: Yes, No? No?

Ross: No, no, you need to practice. I'm serious. You need to

practice. This is not about coming in here tonight and tomorrow and

Sunday being passive entertaining and leaving. You've got to make a

commitment to practice these skills. How many people here walk?

How many people here talk? How many people here can stand up?

How many people here are toilet trained? Keep your hand down, Bruce.

Just teasing, ok. Do you think those are all things that you

acquired immediately? Did you pop out of the womb being able to

do it? You had to practice. You must practice these skills on a

consistent basis. I don't know why I have to continue to hammer on

this point before you get it and incorporate it. Alright.

Audience: Right, yeah, yes

Ross: So let's work on controlling tonality, let's put your notes down.

I dont want to see anyone writing or holding notes, anyone with a pen in their

hand will find their gentile is shrinking. And some of you have no

time to waste. Shawn, Shawn is over going, xxxxx no problem. Call

me at 7:00 and then I'll worry. How many of you know what the vowels

are? What are the vowels?

Audience: A,E,I,O,U

Ross: Wrong, here are the vowels. AAAA, EEEE, IIII, OOOO, UUUU. Those

are the vowels. So we're going to do an exercise. Put one hand on

your chest so you can feel the residence of your voice, take a deep

breath, put your head back and say with me. AAAA, EEEE, IIII, OOOO,

UUUU. Welcome to the five hour orgasm. Ok. When you speak to a

woman, you should be speaking such that your voice resinates. When

you practice these patterns out loud, and you must practice every

pattern,

Audience: Out loud

Ross: Not in your head. Out loud, because you're speaking these

out loud. She not telepathic, she not picking up through telepathy.

Stop it. Ok. (Ross laughs) Notice that barrier that every time

you try it, it's like a lazer beam right in your balls. Lock that

in, that's right. So, just ignore him, he'll go away. Slowly, into

another state. So, we must learn to control our tonality. Ok, let's

try another exercise. Let's exercise No. 1. Let's pick a neutral

word like water, yes Yates, you have a comment. Let me walk up so the

microphone can pick it up. Yes sir.

Yates: Administrative one.

Ross: What's your administrative point?

Yates: Are we going to do pizzas tonight?

Ross: Ask me in 45 minutes. Ask me in half an hour.

Yates: It's going to take about half an hour to get them.

Ross: I understand. I can do the math, you know. Yes question.

Audience: I hope they have some xxxxxx pizza

Ross: Later, later

Audience: Laughs

Ross: We're going to do that later. I don't want to hear this now.

We'll take a break and decide. Ok. Your tummies will be cared for.

Don't worry about it. Ok. Let's pick a neutral word like watermelon.

Ok. Let's all just say watermelon.

Audience: Watermelon

Ross: Try it one more time

Audience: Watermelon

Ross: Ok, now. I want you to remember a time when you were angry,

really pissed off and say watermelon as if you were expressing that

angry feeling. Ready?

Audience: Watermelon

Ross: Again

Audience: Watermelon

Ross: Alright, can you remember a time when you were curious? I want

you to say watermelon with a tonality of curiousity. Ready?

Audience: Watermelon

Ross: Watermelon, and now seductive and sexy. Say watermelon. Let's

start with this row, ok guys. Let's hear you do your watermelon

seductive and sexy, are you ready?

Audience: Watermelon

Audience: Laughs

Ross: Do you see what I mean? Look, ok, let's hear you say the words,

seduce me, let's hear you say seduce me.

Audience: Seduce me

Ross: Louder, put your hand on your chest, get the resident, no

these guys only, put your head back, take a deep breath and go,

seduce me, make it resinate. Say it out loud.

Audience: Seduce me

Ross: Better, a little louder you do. This is not observant. Do it.

Seduce me, better, ok, now do watermelon.

Audience: Watermelon

Ross: Suck it in like this and go watermelon.

Audience: Watermelon

Ross: He's got it. Nicky, some on in and have a seat. Ok, do you guys

want to try it? Let's hear it. Let's hear the sexiest watermelon in the

world.

Are we ready?

Ross and Audience: Watermelon

Ross: That's good. He's got it, go ahead, one more time.

Audience: Watermelon

Ross: Very good. Ok, all together, ready. 1, 2, 3,

Audience and Ross: Watermelon

Ross: If you guys need extra help on doing this you have my

permission to call two 900 numbers. I'm serious. Take them and

listen to how these women speak. Ok, if necessary, call a gay

900 number.

Audience: Laughs

Ross: I'm serious, I'm serious and listen to how they speak. Do

you have notes Vickie? Does Vickie have notes? Ok. Will you get

notes for her, Is she going to look on with Jackie. Ok. Alright,

Did we get it guys, you need to do these exercises at home. You need to

do them in the car driving. You need to do them when you're in the shower

and taking a shit, you need to do them all the time. If you say look, stop

a minute, look up here, if you say, have you ever felt a sense of incredible

connection. Do you think you are going to get a result?

Audience: No

Ross: No, with the wrong one. Have you ever felt a, here's a good

way to make sure you say it right, get the feeling for yourself right

here. And then as you're speaking to the woman, the feeling that

you want her to feel will guide your tonality. Do you get that?

So imagine the feeling that you want to feel right here and then

allow that feeling to guide your voice. So as the warmth of that

voice just wraps itself around you like a pair of legs around your

neck, you'll know, really know, on the inside, just exactly what's

happening, you know. You must learn to control your tonality. I

can't emphasize this enough. It is the single biggest stumbling

block. Some other ways to learn to control your tonality. Get a

dictionary. Pick out words at random and experiment saying those

words with the right tonality. Pick out loaded words like troop,

love, seduction, connection. Write these words down. Troop, love,

seduction, connection, desire, lust, absolutely fascinated. Ok.

And work on saying these in the right tonality. I just cannot

emphasize this enough. Trying to learn this without getting master

of your tonalities is like trying to drive your car without gasoline.

It's just not going to work. Have I made the point enough?

Audience: Yes

Ross: Are we all going to make a commitment? Yes.

Audience: Do you recommend using a tape recorder

Ross: Use a tape recorder or just do it out loud. As long as you

do it, I don't care if you use a tape recorder, if you hire a parrot,

or a midget, I don't care. Just do it. You can use midgets. A

midget got thrown out of a nudist colony for sticking his nose in

everyone's business.

Audience: Laughs

Ross: Yes, it's my seminar. Get out if you don't like it. Yes.

Audience: Do you think it would be a good idea, to as you're

practicing to think of a way that women use tonality on us.

Ross: Yes. His comment was let's think about the way women use

tonality on us. You should see my little roommate, Kim. Oh man,

does she know how to flirt. If someone calls to talk to me, I go,

oh, Kim, talk to Lou, she'll go, hi, Lou. If you were to

diagram it it would be Donna. Women use tonality all the time.

Here's when a woman is lying to you. You call her up and you ask

her for the date and she goes, here's the tonality, umm xxxxxx

she's lying. Ok. Women use tonality on us all the time. That's

a very good point. Constantly. If you listen to the tonality,

you know what I did, someone the other day, talking to my friend

Kim No. 1, I know seven Kims,

Audience: Laughs

Ross: And I was not being very sympathetic with her and she was

pissed off and I said at least I'm listening to you even though I

don't agree and you know we still love each other even though we

totally disagree. She said well, that's big of you. I said well

I think it's absolutely horrible that you think that. So her

tonality didn't match her words so I just reversed it. I said

something mean in a very nice tonality and totally scrambled her

brain. So, they're always using tonality on us so it's only fair

that we turn around and use it on them. Yes.

Audience: What's tonality for truth

Ross: Truth. Oh, for them when they're not lying.

Audience: Yeah

Ross: Call them up and ask them for the date and they're go, you

say, well can you make it Saturday, they're go xxxxxx yeah, yes.

Audience: Yeah but what if it's a no but it's the truth

Ross: What about it?

Audience: Is it going to sound, what's the tonality

Ross: You'll hear it. Well, we have women in the room, for Christ's

sake, let's ask them. Ladies, if some guy asked you out, let's say it

a guy that you feel utterly attracted, you know that you want to be

with this person, now let's say, I'm sorry these girls have become

who I am, I can't turn them off, I can only turn them on, big time.

No, seriously, let's say some guy asked you out, I know it's happened

before, and you really do want to go out with him, ok, but you can't

make it on the night that he asked you out. What do you tell him?

Audience: Well, in my tonality, gee, I'd like to go out with you

Larry, but you know, I can't make it that particular night, how about

a raincheck.

Ross: Yeah, they're give you a counter offer versus well my car keeps

going through a xxxxx crisis and I need to

Audience (Female): Why don't you just tell me about by asking me

pretend you're a real nerd and somebody that I don't want to go out

with.

Ross: Ok, gosh, Nicky, my name is Joseph and I saw you at that party

giving someone else your phone number so I looked over your shoulder

and wrote it down. But mother said, mother and therapist,

both said that I need to get out more and try to taper off the medication

so I was wondering, I have tickets to the munster truck rally in

xxxxx and if I can find it, and I have some bus passes to take us

there, I understand the bus sometimes has air conditioning, would you

be ever so flattering and kind as to attend with me. Please, yes.

Audience (Female): Well, Steve, I'm flattered by your offer but

you know what, you said that's going to be next Tuesday and actually

I'm completely booked for about the next month. I'm really sorry.

I won't have time until after February, way after February, almost

into March.

Ross: Oh, well perhaps then you would consider the possibility of calling

me at a future date.

Audience (Female): Perhaps, perhaps.

Ross: There you go. So, now you don't need a voice stress analyzer

to tell what's going on there. Ok.

Audience: So when they throw you off for a month

Ross: Forget it. If you're doing this stuff, they will not throw

you off. They'll go, when can I come over. I'm not kidding. They

call you up and say I had to hear your voice. For some reason I hear

your voice on the inside of my mind. It's like it's driving me nuts,

I have to come over. It's disgusting. Am I lying?

Audience: You're not lying.

Ross: I'm not lying. It's horrible. It's just absolutely horrible.

You've got to learn to live with it guys. Now there is an exception.

Sometimes you will hear that, and it's, they're going through a

terrible time, they just broke up with someone and emotionally they're

just not ready to handle anyone. Back off for a month or so and they

will either call you and go why haven't you called me or when you do

call a month or so later you know, xxxxx if you're feeling a little

less than anti social, I'd still like to see you. Try it and don't

be serious about it. By the way, with everything that you do, listen

soften it and use hunor, you're not a prosecuting attorney. Now,

Mr. Simpson. What's important to you in a relationship? Someone with

hard to identify blood.

Audience: Laughs

Ross: I'm serious, No, I'm just kidding. O.J. is innocent until

they fry him. Just kidding.

Audience (Female): xxxx

Ross: Well, yeah, yeah, right. Now there's an example stop. There

is an example of a man who had exquisite control over his tonality,

and the way he presented himself. O.J. for years has embedded himself

in the psyche of America. He talks in that wonderful voice, so it's

like bathing in melted butter, you know, he's got that big smile.

He radiates infinity. He radiates infinity, not so much but for what

he says, but how he says it in tonality and his facial expressions,

to the point where people cannot believe this man is guilty as hell.

You can make a video tape of O.J., whether he's guilty or not isn't

the issue. He is. You can make a video tape of this man slicing

Nicole's throat in slow motion, in front of 50 different cameras and

some people will not be able to bring themselves to believe it. Nothing

to do with a racial issue, it's got to do with the face that this man

is, was at least, an exquisite master that convened a certain emotional

feeling to the use of his facial expressions and his voice. It may

get him off. Does that make sense?

Audience: That's why they want to put him on the stand.

Ross: That's exactly why they want to put him on the stand. Alright,

does that make sense?

Audience: Yes

Ross: Another way to exercise your tonality, look at No. 5. Pick

any pattern from the workbook, say it out loud in a neutral tone as

you read it, then do it in the proper tonality and you are

Audience: Richard

Ross: Richard

Richard: Richard xxx

Ross: Ok, then do it in the proper tonality. Does that make sense?

You can do this at home. Ok, let us take a five minute break. Five

minutes. So being that it's now 6:20, I want you back in your seat at

6:25. Ok, alright, back in action. Let's go to, I want to talk now

about building your own ideal state and self image. A good judgment

intuition. How many here have the unstoppable confidence tapes?

How many people have never received them or don't have them for some

reason. You should consider buying them if you haven't already got

them as part of the package. They're very important. But what we're

going to do now is a little exercise in building your ideal self image.

So here's what we're going to do. By the way, this is a pretty good

introduction to the science of submodalities. How many people know

what submodalities are? The basic idea behind submodalities, is that people

have locations, hey, how are you doing, people have locations for

their internal mental imagery. That when people make images on the

inside of their mind, subjectively speaking, those images are located

in different places. Do we understand this?

Audience: Yes

Ross: I need to hear yes or no.

Audience: Yes

Ross: Who does not understand what I'm talking about, raise your

hand. Ok.

Audience: In other words, xxxx a word or

Ross: No, let me give you an example. I'll give you an example.

Come here, come on up here. Come up. What's your name?

Audience: Rod

Ross: Rod

Audience: Roddie

Ross: Have a seat here. Let me show you what I mean. Sit down. What's

going on with the air conditioning? Ok. You want to turn it up. It's

not on. Turn the temperature up. We want it colder. There's a

thermostat right here. See if you can manipulate that. Alright, Rod,

there we go. Can you stop and think about someone who you really, really

like. Is there someone that you really like alot?

Rod: Yes I can

Ross: As you think about that person and you see their image in your mind

don't you?

Rod: Yes

Ross: Imagine your mind is a movie screen. And if you were to take

your finger and point to where on the movie screen you see their image

where might you point right now. Right there. Very nice. Now can you

think of someone who you can't stand at all? I mean, if you saw a car

coming at this person, you might go xxxx but you wouldn't be in too big

of a hurry to get them out of the way. Where you see the picture

where? And where is the picture of the person that you really like.

Now take this picture of the person who you don't like much and try to

move it over here and see what happens. Looks like it doesn't want to

stay there, does it?

Rod: It's heavy

Ross: It's heavy. Did you hear that?

Audience: Laughs

Ross: Now that's what I mean about, stop, that's what I need is a good

subject. That's what I mean about submodalities. By the way, notice

how the more you listen to me the more my picture goes right here. And

the bigger and brighter it gets. And you just lock it there. Keep it

there. That's a neat thing. So, that's right, so, and any objection to

anything that I might say, any objection you might have to anything I

might suggest just xxxxx it stays there. Wow! So as you walk back to

your seat and become more suggestible with every step, what I'd like

to say is that there you go and don't sink all the way into trance

yet as you sit down. Here's my point. My point is submodalities,

the No. 1 submodality is location, where people put their pictures.

There's alot of other ones but for our purpose the one that we are going

to be using is location. What are the three most important things

in any piece of real estate?

Audience: xxxxx

Ross: Same as submodalities. Where do you put the pictures. Yes,

question.

Audience: Does it matter xxxxxx

Ross: That's got nothing to do with submodalities but it could make

a difference later. No, it doesn't. Yes.

Audience: In many of the experiments that I've gone through with,

I find that alot of the pictures are very spacial. They don't have

a position, I can't put them in a position.

Ross: Then what you do is suggest one. If they don't have one,

suggest it. See notice what it's like if that picture just pops itself

out of your head and locks in right in front of your face. If they

don't have one suggest it. So you can put yourself there. I even have,

I'm such a scum bag, where is my computer, this is my, I love this.

This is my Sanyo will you hold this for a second. This is my Sanyo

xxxxxx computer. I am going to do a little commercial for Sanyo.

Got a full word processing program. So I turn it on and every time

I have a date or I talk to someone on the phone, I keep a record in

my scan log. I have notes in here about where the submodalities

are. For example, let's go to one of these women.

Audience: Laughs

Ross: I'm serious. I'm scrolling here. Hang on a minute. Let me

scroll. You may think those thoughts are above me.

Audience: Laughs

Ross: Sweet Nicky, with me I know, when I do that. Hang on a minute, I'm

paging

down. Ok, here's this woman Catherine, note all the directions are given as I

see them, my left, my right. Blah, Blah, Blah. Ok, good decisions are up

and to

my right, her bad decisions are down to the left, motivation is directly

in front. Let's see, I've got her ideal qualities in a relationship

she vulnerable with future xxxxx she attracted to power in control,

what are her, wait a minute, I have her ideal, hang on, hang, I'll get

it here. Wait a minute, I'm going through here. Ok, here are her

values. Really enjoying the other person, communication, trust, being

able to learn from the other person. Ok, her submodalities of

attraction are up into the right, that's my right, I know where she puts

something she's attracted to and I've got some other suggestions that

I'm going to use the next time. So, I keep track of all this. I keep

track, where they're anchored, I was anchored in the same spot. On the

elbow. So, I don't have to go Debbie, left knee, Sally, right buddock.

Audience: Laughs

Ross: Anchor in the same place, make it simple. So keep track, my point

is, keep track of all this, don't call Catherine or I'll kill you. So

submodalities are very important. Keep track of those things. So here's

the exercise that we're going to do. Close your eyes, this means eyes

close, female victim, I mean demonstration subjects, do this as well,

you'll benefit from it. Close your eyes. What I want you to do is,

I want you to think about something that you use to want to be when you

were a little kid. But then as you grew up you just forgot all about

it. So think of that thing that you use to want to be when you were

a little kid and then maybe you just forgot all about it. If some of

you haven't done that, then think of something you use to do when you

were a kid but you no longer do. You use to wet the bed. But no longer

do. But I prefer you pick something where you use to want to do as a

kid but then you have forgotten about it. Ok, and take a minute to do

that. And this is going to become a very important tool so I want you

to notice as you think about this where in your mental movie screen

you see that picture. And actually take your finger, I want to see

everyone doing this, and take your finger and point to where you seem

to see that picture. And notice that location and draw like a white

square there. But make it red. Make it a red square if you can do that.

If you can see the color red, ok. Now, I want you to think, do you

believe the sun is going to come up tomorrow? Put your hand down, just

remember that location, do you believe that the sun is going to come

up tomorrow, yes or not?

Audience: Yes

Ross: As you are believing that I want you to make a picture of that

in your mind. Your belief that the sun will come up tomorrow. Or

your belief that you will find me wildly attractive, no, you believe

that the sun will come up tomorrow. No it's not a belief, it's a fact.

Ok, your belief that the sun will come up tomorrow. You got it. And

point to where you see that. Point to where you see that and draw

a square around that one but make it green. Make it a green square.

Alright, if you're having trouble with the color, don't worry about it.

Just make it whatever color you want. Alright, now here's what I want

you to do. I want you to see the image of yourself that doesn't believe

that you can do this stuff. I know some of you have doubts, now is the

time to let any doubt you want come into your mind. Your doubts that

you can do this material, you know, you feel that you are going to get

caught, your doubts that I'm not the best teacher in the world, whatever

your doubts are that you are going to get rid of them completely, just

whatever they are, I'm going to get caught, I'm not confident enough,

women don't like me, whatever it is, right, I want you to allow an image

or images that represent those thoughts to pop into your mind. And

very quickly stick those into the red square. Shove those images and

pictures right into the red square and lock it in there. And some of

you may be thinking but I don't want to let the thoughts go. But notice

this, the more you think that the more it pushes them away anyway. So

they have no choice. Now I want you to create a new self image. I want

you to see the you that has the spirit that I've been putting into, the

idea, that hey, challenge is fun. If I don't get it the first time

I'll keep tap dancing around this person until I get it. I want you to

hear me, going go for it fuckweed. In the back of your head.

Audience: Laughs

Ross: Just do it. I'm serious. I want you to hear my voice in the

back of your head saying go for it fuckweed. Don't be a dick, go for it.

I want you to do that in the back of your head. Ok, I want you to see

that image of you that sort of has my ideas in your head, the ideas of

being flexible and ferocious and having fun with it. Ok. Now you

that wants to check push limits and see how blatant you can be, try to

get caught with this. Ok. Notice as that image of yourself goes into

the green square. And fill the green square up with that image. And

notice that the bigger and brighter that green square image gets, the

smaller and darker the red square image gets. To the point where the

red square just disappears completely. And lock in that image. And

now that you see that image of yourself in that green square, here's

what I want you to do as the next step. Keep your eyes closed, I know

you love to look at me dear but keep your eyes closed. Just look at

me on the inside, deep inside your mind. Aren't you. Ok, here's what

I want you to do, look, see that image of you in the green square, I

want you to make it forty feet tall. And what I want you to do, you

make it forty feet tall, is turn it around so you only see it from

behind. So you'll see the back of yourself. And as you allow that to

continue, raise it up above your head, and when I snap my fingers, drop

it down on top of your so you'll look into those forty foot tall eyes.

Are you ready? (Ross snaps his fingers) Do it. And now looking out

through those forty foot tall eyes add in a few snarls. A voice in

your head that says your ass is mine. I want you to imagine there's

a woman in front of you, if you're a female imagine there's whatever

you like, me, I know, ok. And now what I want you to do is just

zoom on the part of that person that you find the most attractive. Just

zoom in on it. I know there are some guys in the back there who are

boot men. But zoom in on it, ok and over her shoulder I want you to

see that forty foot tall you again. In fact, I want you to see an

entire army of forty foot tall yous lined up. Now look at and zoom

on the body part, hear that voice that goes (smarl) you know that

sexy tonality, that ooh ahh. And over her other shoulder I want you to

see you and her getting it on. And now notice how any attempt of

hesitation just flies into that red square and shrinks away and smalls

itself. To the point where you can't even imagine evey trying to be

that way just gets wiped out completely. As if a giant hand were wiping

out that tiny little red square of doubt. My hand, the hand that will

put itself around your balls if you don't go for it. The hand attached

to the body that has the voice that says do it fuckface. Do it now.

Now tonight when you sleep and dream and your mind continues to integrate

these ideas, you're going to hear my voice in your dreams. And you're

going to see these images in your dreams. You might find the wildest

thoughts, ideas, uhm and feelings just pervading all through you because when

you were a child you learn things far more complex than what I'm

teaching. You learned to stand up. Some of you are xxxxx familiar

with the human skelton and muscle system and you know what a feat that

is to stand up and support your own weight. How the joints, xxxxx

and muscles and tendons all interlock to work together. And when you

were a child and you learned to stand up you forgotten all the times

that you didn't stand, you only remember the successes. And in the

same way you can find that same mind set pervading and that's a nice

thing. So open your eyes with that feeling of absolute graditude

for your wonderful teacher and let's move on. Do you understand?

Audience: Yes

Ross: Now stop a minute and try to doubt, try in vain to doubt

your ability to master these skills and use them. Tell me what happens.

What happens when you try and doubt. It's unnatural, that's right.

That's right. Good, I want you to carry that with you and ok, let me show

you one more pattern. This is a pattern that I found, when I was first

developing these tools for my own personal life and also working with

clients, I found that sometime it's not enough to have positive

imagery because physiology will always control imagery. But who's to

say if you have powerful imagery but your physiology is run down

if you're feeling sick or hungry or tired, then you won't be able to

get into the right state but something else I found out, I would go out

there and feeling really confident, the minute I saw an absolute

gorgeous woman, xxxx took over, ok, and it just totally wiped all my

pictures out. So what I'm going to show you is an exercise to

integrate your physiology so you both have the physiology of awareness

and arousal at the same time. Ok. I don't want it so that the only

women you can use this on are women that you find repulsive. I want

it rigged up so the more attracted you are, the more clear you are.

The better your judgment is. Does that make sense?

Audience: Yes

Ross: By the way, I want you to do this exercise, if you can, with your

eyes open. Take a piece of paper or the back of your notes and write

down good judgment, bad judgment. Because the ability to have good

judgment, not just in the areas of romance, but also financially and in

every other areas, tremendously useful and very powerful. Wouldn't you

agree?

Audience: Yes

Ross: I mean you exercised great judgment coming here. I need you to

continue to give me money.

Audience: Laughs

Ross: And buy products. It only allows you to realize just how good

your previous judgment was. To the point where you think God, the more

I buy, the more you buy, buy, buy and give me money, the better you feel.

It's confirmation that you're on the right track. And you don't want to

feel lousy do you?

Audience: Laughs

Ross: There you go. I feel great knowing I'm being so generous. Allowing

you to give me your money. So as your hands float voluntarily to your

wallets and. There's something that you all want to do tonight and I'm

not sure what it is.

Audience: Laughs

Ross: Ok, so I want you to stop and remember a time when you made an

absolute great decision. It could be in any field of endeavor, maybe in

your job or some activity but you made a really good decision. What I

want you to do using that piece of paper to represent like the movie

screen in your mind, draw where on the screen you see that image of

having made a good decision. Do you understand what I want you to do?

Ok, imagine that piece of paper is that mental movie screen, stop a

minute, think of a time when you made a great decision, note that

location in your mind and then draw that square, that thing on the piece

of paper so it represents where in your mind that you see it. Do you

understand now? Do you understand?

Audience: Yes

Ross: Does anyone not understand? Stop, think of a time when you made

a great decision. Notice where you see that in your mind. And using

that piece of paper as representative of that mental movie screen,

draw where on the piece of paper you saw that decision. Does that make

sense? Ok, do it. Some of you have never made a good decision other

than coming here. You all got that?

Audience: Yeah

Ross: Now think of a time when you made a shitty decision. Dumb,

stupid. And note where you see that in your mind and draw that on the

paper, correspondingly. Ok. Now, you all got that? Ok. Now, close

your eyes and what we're going to do is in your mind we'll going to

build a grid, we're going to allow to act, remember when your ideal

self image, can everyone still point to where they see that image

in the green square

TAPE 2

Ross: Ok, here's is what I want you to know. Open your eyes. Ok,

now for this next one what I want you, put this arm out, put it out at

this level, like here. So put it out here. Just below your belt like

that. Ok. Close your eyes. I want you to think of a time when you saw

a woman and you were just as Beevis and Butt head would say, you've got

wood. ha ha. I mean, she was just like, so georgous, it was just like,

I want you to zoom in on the part of her body that you liked the most to

really see her and as you're getting those sensations in physiology

we'll make sure you don't get embarrassed here. But as you're really

feeling what that feels like, squeeze your fist. Oh. The thumb is up.

Let's adjust it, but you know. Ok. Open your fist and think of another

time when you just saw a woman, maybe at the beach, she was bending over

in that string bikini riding up her whatever. Ok, he's getting that,

go ahead, squeeze that fist. You can put the thumb down on top of it,

you know. Symbolic, symbolic. Sometimes a cigar is only a cigar. And

one more time, open your fist and think of another woman who you just

ok, squeeze that fist again. There you go. Ok, now here's what I want

you to do, open your eyes for me, ok, here's what I want you to do. I

want you to put this arm out like this and this arm out like this, out

here to the side and what we're going to do is, watch me. What we're

going to do is we're going to close our eyes and think about another

woman and we're going to bring our, watch me, we're going to bring our

hands slowly together like this so they're meet about midline. Get what

I'm doing? As you bring your hands together squeeze the fist. And bring

them together and watch, ok, so close

Audience: xxxxwoman, one or three

Ross: One or three it doesn't matter. So close your eyes, I'll guide

your hands. Bring your hands together and as you do so, close your

fist, make the fist, make the fist now and notice what it feels like

as those physiologies integrate. Do it again. Open your hands, open

your hands as you, ok, like this squeeze your fist, and bring them

together right about there, and let the physiologies integrate, do it

again, open your hands, squeeze them together and now I want you to

interlace your fingers, interlace your fingers and bring that in about

near, where your belly is. Spread your hands against your belly. There

you go. Now do it again. Open your eyes, open your eyes, do the xxx

close them, do the xxxx think of some woman who you just want to,

it should be lower ok, so you're bringing one up as you bring

the other down. Now, can you feel both of those simultaneously present?

Audience: Yes

Ross: Is that weird or what? Is it like being in a new

Audience: It's just incredibly focused and directive powerful, yeah.

Ross: So you feel excited from the waist down but up here you're

clear right.

Audience: Yeah, it's just. it's powerful

Ross: And now as you're doing that can you see where you've make a good

decision? When you have good judgment

Audience: Yeah

Ross: Where is that box? Can it tell you, give you a good suggestion

to what to do to approach her.

Audience: Yeah

Ross: There you go. Ok. Now sit down. Now that's a physiology

that he's never had before because it's integrating two things, it's

not a collapse, for you NLPers, it is not an anchor collapse because

an anchor collapse blends the two. This is creating a new, an entirely

new state. Nothing is being neutralized. It's not that one state

neutralizes the other it's they're combined into a brand new state, these

you've never had before. I call it, it's my own pattern. I call it

the physiological squash. Ok. Instead of a visual squash, it's a

physiological squash. Integrates it. So here's what we are going to do.

Here's the exercise. Let's stand up. Everyone stand up. Ok, let's

arrange it so you can all see me. Who cannot see me? Move to a place

where you can see me if you cannot. You can stand in the aisles if you

need to. Move to where you can see me. Do it now. Do it now. If you

want to come up front, can you all see me? So here's what we're going

to do. We're going to put, extend your left arm out like this, your left

arm, up at shoulder height. Close your eyes right now. Close your eyes

and think of a time, close your eyes, and think of a time when you were

exercising incredible judgment. I don't want you to see yourself, I want

you to see what you actually saw at the time. And as you remember what

that felt like, squeeze your fist. Alright keep your eyes close

throughout this,

release your fist and think of another time when you exercised superb

judgment, release your fist, think of another time when you exercised

superb judgment and as you remember how that felt close your fist again.

So your body remembers what it feels like. You remember where the

physical sensations are in your body, open your fist again, continuing

to keep your eyes close, think of one time when you exercised really

good judgment. Close that fist as you do so. Alright, now lower your

hand, open your eyes. Now what we want to do is we want to take a

right arm, look at me and extend it out like this. Can you all see

where I've got it extended. It's like if you were to pull your arm

in it would be right where your belt is, your belly button. Ok, extend

your right arm out lower in front of you. Can we see where it is. Yeah,

we all got that, that's all fine, extend it out, don't lock your elbow

and hurt yourself but extend it out, ok. Close your eyes and think of

a time when, I want you to visualize a woman who you were just really

turned on by, females, man, or I don't care what it is, just visualize

that. Remember those feelings of being totally turned on and as you

remember that and squeeze that into a fist. That's right. As you

remember that squeeze that into a fist. There you go. Now, open your

hand, keep your eyes closed and remember another time when you were

with someone, man, you saw them and you just run fire because you

wanted them so bad. As the women hear my voice. Go ahead. Close your

fist as you remember that. Leave it alone, just do without it, that's

right. Open your fist and one more time. Think of a time when you

were in front of someone, God, you would have given your left nut for

this one. Ok, or whatever. Close your fist as you remember those

feelings in your body. That's right. Now, put your hands down, open

your eyes for a minute, now here's what we're going to do. Watch me.

We're going to extend our left arm out like this, let's extend our left

arm out, don't hit your neighbor, ok, extend your left arm out like

this at shoulder height. Extend your right arm out but at the height

of like your hip. And what we're going to do is we're going to bring

our left arm down as we bring our right arm up so they'll meet in the

middle. Does that make sense? So look at me, it's like this. Get

it. One's going down and one's coming up so they meet, but we're going

to make the fist as we do so. Does that make sense? So everyone look at

me, do we got it?

Audience: Yes

Ross: Open your eyes, just so you can see me, I'm going to do it one

more time. Don't do it with me but just watch. So it's this. Put one

fist on top of the other like that, you got it. Ok, so close your eyes

visualize that person who you really want, keep your hands open and

now as you bring your left arm down and your right arm up, close your

fist and put your left fist on top of your right one. At like the

level of your belt. Should be about a belt level. So if it's

higher than that you need to put it lower. And realize what it feels

like to feel both things going total awareness and good judgment and

complete arousal simultaneously. Do it again. Put your hands out

left hand is shoulder level, the right hand should be about the level

of your waist, so some of you need to raise your right hand, raise

your right hand a bit so it's like that, that's right. Ok, bring

them together as you do so, close your fist, think of that person

who, God, you really want and notice how you feel both simultaneously

both alert and aware and totally turned on. Isn't that neat? As you

feel both simultaneously, one more time and do it. Now I don't want to

suggest it if you're preparing for a date or a party but doing this

right before you walk in the door, might put you in an incredibly

powerful state. Notice as you do this, how easy it is to look to

that square where you have good judgment. Just do that now. Keep

your eyes closed, do this one more time and as you do it look to where

your good judgment is. And notice if you don't get some idea, maybe

it's a voice, you see an image of both telling you exactly what to

do to get that person you want. You know how before you use to be

stuck for what to say, in this physiological do you think you might

find something.

Audience: Yeah

Ross: That's dirty, don't say that. Ok, sit down, feeling good.

This is my own unique pattern, I've never seen this anywhere else

in the NLP commuittee. I created this because I recognized that as

much as I teach internal representations, physiologies powerful

and necessary to teach. Did we all get something out of that?

Audience: Yes

Ross: Ok. I have found that physiological will control your internal

representation if you don't do this. If you do this, watch xxxx

see something interesting you don't even have to do it. All you have

to do is sit there, look at me, and notice the physiologies integrate

as I do this. And just imagine that you're doing it. Maybe if I

do it this way because to you that will make your brain think you're

doing it in the right direction. Do you notice that? Ok. So good.

Now that you're totally in my power, I like that. Ok. Five minutes.

Five minutes from now we will take a break to decide how we're going

to order the pizzas but not, ok, what was your question.

Audience: I was going to make a comment

Ross: Comment

Audience: I've never done this before

Ross: Yeah, I never showed it to you before.

Audience: Right, what had happened, what happened to the image

of the lady in the good decision. After putting it together it

seemed like it had already happened and it was happening.

Ross: It was happening. This is very psychic, there is a very thin

line between NLP and psychic ability. The difference is with NLP

you can do it much more precisely. When you combine what you want

with where you put good decisions, it's far more likely to draw to

you what you want and far more likely to present to you how to do it,

what ideas. Many of you have been stuck because when it comes to

ideas, you only talk to yourself. So you're cutting off a huge part

of your mind. The part of your mind that makes pictures. Now

when you want a good intuition, you'll be able to see pictures.

See what to do. Does that make sense?

Audience: Yes

Ross: I use this all the time. For example, with this woman I had

the lunch date with, I was, boy she was spilling her guts and she

told me she loves chocolate and she loves $100 bills and money. Well,

this makes her in a drooling state. It does. I have an anchor to

that too. So any time she thinks of chocolate, she thinks of certain

other things that she wants in her mouth. I'm serious.

Audience: Laughs

Ross: I set it up that way, so, what am I going to do. I went today

and I bought two Godiva chocolate bars. If you like chocolate, you'll

love Godiva. I took a hundred dollar bill and made a photo copy

of it, wrapped the $100 dollar bill around the chocolate, I'm having

it delivered to her office on Monday morning with a card that says

$100 is fake, the chocolate is real. Boom. They like that. How did

I get that idea? Well I always get my good intuitions. They're

up and to my left in the form of a picture. When I'm not in someone's

presence, I get good ideas about what to do in a form of a picture and

it's up here. When I am in their presence I hear a voice telling me

right here, when I'm doing NLP I get them both right here but it's

higher up. It's like literally coming from a higher self. When I

am doing NLP sessions with a client I hear their thoughts, before

they do, I see their pictures before they do, am I bullshitting or

is this for real? And I always see them in the same place. They're

always up here. Sometimes in the middle of a session I'll hear a

voice telling me what to do and it's way up there, I'll go oh, thank

you, and the client looks at me like what? I'll go nothing.

Audience: Laughs

Ross: It's like, do this and it always works. That is never wrong.

So everyone that you know they say get in touch with your higher

self, I want to make it a science so you'll know where your higher

self is. So you're not, you know, where where is my higher self

today? You know. Does that make sense?

Audience: Yes

Ross: Then of course there's a place in your mind where you're super

suggestible. And if you'll just stop and begin the process of

finding that place, that space where you are totally suggestible.

And if you should that you were to hear my voice and see my face

right in that place, in the super suggestible part of your mind, it'll

be wow, what a mental and spiritual bomd between me and you,

unbreakable isn't it. And you know what I'm doing but it works

anyway. Is this amazing Yates, have I, are you like amazed, I told, did

I tell you I would blow your mind. This is the way I motivate

myself. My motivation is what can I do to surprise Yates? Did I

not tell you on the phone? Am I blowing your mind. Guys, just stop

and think, this is only half way into the first evening. We've got

a whole weekend ahead of us.

Audience: Good

Ross: That's right, don't give it away. Let's take five minutes and

decide what kind of pizza we're going to get, turn off your tape

recorders. xxxxx you know you're so flipping, you have no

sympathy, you know, I don't think I can learn with you. For them,

you're right, I have no sympathy for them. Stop flirting Bruce.

Bruce: We're talking business

Ross: Right, I know she's adorable but you know but wait until

you're outside the room. Look at this handwriting, Bart. You need

to have a look at these huge loops. We'll do that later.

Audience: Ross

Ross: Yes, question

Audience: Don't worry about the xxxxxxx

Ross: Alright, guys, ok, I'd now like to introduce a pattern to you

which you have not seen before. Because this pattern is new. I

taught it in my Saturday class that the ladies were in. This pattern,

I want to tell you something, I am proud of what I do but I've never

been as proud of anything as this pattern. This just cracks all

resistance, you can use it anywhere, you can use it on women who

are the most hardening, bitter, cynical, they're melt like butter in

a microwave. You can use it in any situation, any situation you can

use it immediately, within the first few seconds of meeting her, you

can use it at a party, it does not require any use of tonality. It

is absolutely completely conversational. Now, do I always take the

opportunity to use tonality in hidden suggestions.

Audience: Yes

Ross: Doesn't mean you do. Doesn't mean that you have to. I'm going

to show you this pattern. Before I do that let me talk to you a little

bit about a basic concept in NLP. If I might, I know I can. And

that is the concept of maps of the world. By the way, Jackie and

Nicky, have you had the opportunity to try this pattern? Outside, out in the

real world? The one I showed you on Saturday. You know where you ask

the person about their challenge with what they do. Have you tried

it. What results did you get.

Jackie and Nicky: It's great. People just go right into it, you

know.

Ross: They open up completely, they feel totally bonded with you and

they give you great information that you can use.

Jackie and Nicky: Yeah, yeah.

Ross: Yeah, ok. Yeah, it is. Let me introduce this central concept

to you, maps of the world. There's an idea in NLP that people don't

respond to the world, they respond to their own internal map on the

inside of their head. And so if you understand what people's maps

are you then have tremendous leverage. Look at, on the page of your

notes where it says the first super pattern. Do you see that.

Unfortunately my cork express program is not working, I can't get at

the number of the pages so do you see that. Under Maps of the World.

It says people respond to their maps of the world and they compose

their beliefs about the following. No. 1. Who they are, their

identity. No. 2. What they can do, their capability. No. 3 What

is possible for them in the world, their possibility and No. 4 What

they deserve, their deservingness. Now, look up here and listen to me.

Look up here and listen to me. That's means stop writing and look

up here and listen to me. Thank you. I did that for your own good.

If you understand people on this level you get tremendous amounts of

information. This is the deepest level of who they are as people.

If you get this information, No. 1, people aren't use to someone

communicating with them on this level. Most people don't even know

themselves at this level. If you know them at this level, there's

nothing you can't do. Typically, the problem is most people don't

know this stuff. They don't know how to communicate with this kind

of stuff. So here's how you find out this stuff. Generally speaking

a map is defined by what's not on it. A map is defined by the

boundaries of the map. What are the borders. And in someone's life,

mentally and emotionally, and spiritually in the real world and both

inside and outside, the map is defined by where they have a challenge.

And it's only when someone experiences a challenge by the way that

they expand in one of these areas. Does that make sense?

Audience: Yes

Ross: Does that make sense?

Audience: Yes

Ross: Ok, I'm having a challenge with you, so speak up. Alright,

so let's talk about this. I prefer to demonstrate rather than talk.

Nicky it's time to earn your keep, come up please. I pick my

volunteers. Oh, look at the presupposition. I know you might think

that, you might think that you might think that but if you would find

that thought dropping to the floor only as fast as you recognize

it, you do want a sexual future, don't you, sit down xxxxx

Audience: Laughs

Ross: I feel good knowing that you changed your mind but, ok, let

me show you how to do this. First of all, assuming that presupposing

that she doesn't know me or what I do or any of that stuff and we're

meeting at a party, whatever it is, what's the number one natural question

that people ask you at a party.

Audience: What your name and what is your job

Ross: What is your name and what do you do. Now, you'll note when I

do this pattern when you learn to do it and do it well, there's no

intrusiveness here. You're not asking any strange questions, you're

not going so, when you dressed up a saint bernard in split crotch

panties and rub the oil on the both of you, you know.

Audience: Laughs

Ross: Do you do that, no.

Nicky: How did you know?

Ross: Well, I read it. I told you I could see dots when someone is

really attracted to me.

Audience: Laughs

Ross: There you go, that's right, it was, an accurate one. (Ross

laughs) See, I'm demonstrating to you, they throw something at me

I step back and use it. Seriously, I did think you'd preferred coming

tonight

Audience: Laughs

Ross: Again, that's right. No, seriously, listen, listen. Here's

the thing. So let's say we're at a party, ok. I've introduced myself

and talked a little bit. I go, you know Nicky, I know that something

at a party like this people always ask what do you do. And it's not

that I'm not interested in that, but I find that I've learned so much more

when I inquire from someone what the challenge is in what they do.

Whatever it is that you do there are some aspects of it that are easy.

Some are more difficult. I know some are a real challenge and others

you can do in your sleep, with me in my line of work, it's the same

thing, get that, sleep with me. We're get to that later. You don't

need to throw that in if you don't want to. So my curiousity is, but

you do want to, my curiousity is, I'm just curious. If I were to ask

you what's the one aspect of what you do that's really a challenge

to you, either, because you have to really focus in to get it done

well, or you just have to focus in to motivate yourself to do it.

What would your response be?

Nicky: I would say that being an interior designer, the biggest

challenge in what it is that I do is finally closing a sale, getting

people to commit. That's what I find to be the challenge.

Ross: Getting people, well, let me ask you about that. So you can get

them interested initially but it's, what's, I'm not sure about this

so I'm asking for clarification. Is it that you can't get them in the

door to use your services, or once you get them in you can't get them

to sign a contract.

Nicky: Oh, no. I can definitely get them in the door, I can get them

interested but when it becomes time for them to commit alot of times

and I would say I do, I do it pretty well most of the time, but what

I'm trying to do is I'm trying to work on it with rather than it

50% of the time that I can get the order, trying to make it 80%.

Ross: 80%.

Nicky: Yes.

Ross: Well, so if you can do it 80% what would you say about that,

that would be

Nicky: Well, I would say that, I would say that would ultimately

help me, that would be, that would be my ultimate goal for the time

being, once I get to 80% then possibly to more. But I want to

keep doing it until it becomes easy. Because then I have other things

that I would like to pursue as well.

Ross: Do you know what those other things are?

Nicky: Yes, I do.

Ross: Would you want to

Nicky: Well, I would, I basically am in the line of work that I am in

right now, I'm working for an actual company rather than for myself

because I think that I need to build my selling skills more than anything.

So, it's good to do it with a company where I'll have support, after

that I have another business that I'm interested in going into along

the same kinds of lines but definitely where I need to sell my jobs.

I just want to get additional training in it. So.

Ross: Now, in the course of that she gave us some good information.

One of the things that she did not say, is she didn't say, well, she

did say, I'm in, did you say I'm in interior designer or I am an

interior designer. Which did she say.

Nicky: I am an interior designer

Ross: I am an interior designer. So it's, that's her identity. She

identifies herself very strongly with what she does. Ok, she said

I am an interior designer. So we know her work is very important

to her, isn't it. And this is not someone who is going to appreciate

a man who expects her to give up her career for him.

Nicky: That's right.

Ross: I mean

Nicky: Look here guys, loosen up.

Ross: I'm serious, if any guy tried to say you're spending too much

time on the job, you really need to focus more in on me, how quickly

would you get rid of him. Look at her face.

Nicky: Well, let's just put it this way, Paul, the last guy that I was

with 5 years, that sabotaged some of my work, he's no longer with me.

Ross: Ok, and the minute you saw that sabotage how long did it take

you to cut him off at the legs.

Nicky: I'm embarrassed to say, it took, it took finally about a year.

Ross: Oh, wow.

Nicky: Yeah, but that was a gradual process, a little subtly.

Ross: Yeah, so we know, because whenever you hear someone say I am

an actor, I am blah blah blah. Sometimes it's a colloquialism

but for the most part it means that's who they are as a person.

That is information about their identity. Now, in the course of this

they also lean on certain words. Did you hear the word that she

leaned on. Support. Did you hear her lean on support. Build,

support.

Audience: What do you mean by lean on

Ross: She puts extra emphasis on it. Right. And she wants to close.

I'd say it's important to learn to close consistently.

Nicky: Yes, close consistently and commitment. Even if they won't

close right then, are they committed to working with me.

Ross: Commitment. Did you hear the word?

Nicky: Listen guys commitment is important.

Audience: Laughs

Nicky: xxx hint hint xxxxx work either

Ross: Ok, build, support, commitment. In fact, you know I'm sitting here

trying to recollect when we did this on Saturday, two weekends ago,

just exactly what your values were. I seemed to remember hearing from

you that fidelity is also very important.

Nicky: Yes, fidelity is.

Ross: Yeah, I know that because she said it but that would be part

of commitment anyway. Wouldn't it.

Nicky: Right

Ross: Ok, so I already know alot of information about her. What do we

know about Nicky? Do you think that Nicky is someone, no, here's the

second question I asked. So I gathered all that information, right.

Are you guys paying attention, look here, ignore the back of the room,

look at me. The next question I said, so Nicky, so let me ask you

something. What's your belief about

this. Do you believe that it's always going to be a challenge or do

you believe that one day it will become easy.

Nicky: No, I do believe that one day it will become easy, with

practice these things become easier.

Ross: Ok, practice, ok. So is Nicky someone who believes the world

is a veil of tears. When it comes to her beliefs about possibility.

What do you think her beliefs are about possibility? Great. So you

know in the area of possibility she's positive. How about, did you hear

that?

Nicky: The sky is the limit.

Ross: Hear that? Do you think she'd be attracted to someone who

comes from an attitude of, well, I don't know, life is really rough.

Huh, would that attract you.

Nicky: No, I don't think so.

Ross: No, that would repulse her. Like swimming in vomit.

Nicky: Where is the door, where is the quickest door, I'd be out of

there like a fucking arrow.

Ross: Like a fucking arrow. Ok, there you go. You got it? Now

listen. What do you think, who is she as a person, who's her

identity? She is what she does, she's an interior designer. What

does that tell you. So when she gives us this information your

brain is got to be clicking in that good judgment place going what

is to say about what she would like in a relationship? Is it, oh

hello Steve, is it hard doing to it that she wouldn't be interested

in someone who wants her to quit her job. Is that hard to

discover from this.

Audience: No

Ross: Ok. Now I asked her what's your belief about this. This tells

me

Nicky: You're right about the money, $100 bill and Godiva chocolate

Ross: Oh, there you go. Thank you. Listen to me. What has she told

us about her beliefs about her capability. She believes she's a

capable person and there are some new skills that she would like to learn.

So, if I say, you know Nicky, I'm teaching a sales training, and part

of that is learning how to build in the ability to get commitments

from people and also get their full support in bringing you new

clients.

Nicky: That's another thing that I would like to focus on, is how to

build more business, so, yes, and again, that lean word, that I didn't

even, wasn't even aware of until Paul told me, build, support, this is

true, these are important.

Ross: She leans on those words. So let's say you want to use this

for dating information, you know. I have this idea. I'm beginning

to build in my mind this great idea for us having fun and you know

I think the more you listen to it, the more you'll support the

fact it will be lots of fun and even make a commitment to go do it.

Nicky: Well, tell me about this idea of yours.

Ross: Well we're going to melt Godiva chocolate in a bathtub, no.

Audience: Laughs

Ross: Ok. But see

Nicky: And who are we going to cover in that?

Ross: I already know. Which one of us would you like to remain

uncovered. Anyway, so listen, listen, listen. We've gathered tremendous

information about her, now, is this intrusive. Was I xxxxxx did I

change my tonality.

Nicky: No

Ross: In fact, what happens, you've tried this in the real world.

How do you feel when someone talks to you about this.

Nicky: Well, the way that you feel is strictly, when I first did this,

you know, in your seminar on Saturday, a total stranger sitting next

to me and at first you hear what you're suppose to say to them, you're

like, you know bullshit. This can't possibly, you know, work, it's

going to sound weird, it's going to feel awkward, no. The fact of the

matter is that most people are thrilled to talk about themselves.

That's why if you want to get information from somebody you know, for

you to say to them, you know woman, man, it doesn't matter, for you to say

to them, hey I'd like to, you know, to take you to lunch, I'd like to hear more

about what it is that you do. And so most people are flattered as hell

to talk about themselves and so for him to ask not just what do you

do, or this other person that I was with on Saturday, when she said

what's the challenge in what you do. It creates a real rapport, a

feeling of warmth, a feeling of security, almost akin to like

being in the womb, kind of a cliche. But it's the truth. It's

where you're really communicating and it's not just this BS fluff

talk.

Ross: Now, I'll tell you something else. You're talking about to someone

about the deep coil level issues that touch who they are as a person.

When someone feels like they're being touched at a deep level as a

person, when that happens they feel a tremendous xxxx. I'll tell you

something else. Most people never stop to ask themselves these

questions. And these are what I call a second joint question. They're

the kind of things that you ask yourself when you'll really stoned

and you're going like, what's really my challenge with this, ok and

like where is my belief about it. Would it be resolved, and you know,

listen to me, in order to answer these questions the person has to go

into an altered state. These questions send them into an altered state

because they're accessing information on a deep level. So, guess what,

not only do you create tremendous rapport, get great information that

you can use against them, but they also go into trance.

Nicky: Yes

Ross: Aren't you?

Nicky: Yes, Paul

Ross: Now go sit, go sit down. Give her a big hand.

Audience: Claps

Ross: Do we understand the power of this.

Audience: Yes

Ross: What we're going to do is we're going to break into groups and

we're going to do this exercise. And I'm going to give you instructions

on how to do it. And I think the fact, it may be thoroughly in the

notes, I'm not sure, let's see. Ok, let's look on, see where it

says first super pattern. See where it says steps. Do you see it,

yes or no?

Audience: Yes

Ross: By the way. She was not paid to say that. You know, when a

woman says God when someone asks me I feel like I'm in the womb, man,

I'm so comfortable, do you think that's not something. Is that

something that you would like for them to feel with you.

Audience: Yes

Ross: They crack open like a clam under super heated steam.

Nicky: xxxxx even if there's not sexual attraction in the beginning

I'll give you guys a big hint. Women tend to, a friend of mine, a

psychologist said and I believe it. Women tend to be attracted to the

guys that they fall in love with or create a xxxxxx with where as men

tend to fall in love with a woman that they're attracted to. For

whatever that's worth.

Ross: This is creating intimacy but more important it's giving you

information. Man, can you use this. Man oh man can you use this. I

mean, we just make a commitment to support that idea as we build a

deeper rapport. Yes, back there.

Audience: You mention about, you know there's a challenge in your

work, job and there's a challenge in your life.

Ross: Yes, but here's why I inquire about the job. Because it's a

little bit safe in saying what's your challenge in a relationship.

Audience: xxx a relationship, it's just what's your life is about

right now. You might be in between jobs.

Ross: Well then they're give you, I'm bored and looking for work and you'll

say what's your challenge with that. Ok. So, Step No. 1. You make

fluff talk. How about them Dodgers, blah blah, blah? Who do you

know at the party, blah blah blah. I did this, Bart saw me do this

today, with this girl, Marlea. Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful girl.

We were at the Beverly Center where I was buying the chocolate and

we were going down the escalator and I just commented on her, the

way she was dressed. I said I like your barrett and you know I

think you really have a tremendous sense of style. I meant it. It

was not bullshit. And, then we walked right to the underground

parking garage and Bart and I, two strange men are following her,

I said look I've got to ask you something. I said, you know, I

know everyone asks you what you do but my real question is I went

into that. And, she, I mean it was like wow, she's like totally

fascinated, she said who are you. What do you do? I said, I'll tell

you what, ask me this as we're having coffee and I'll tell you and I

handed her my card, I'm going to call you. I've got to find out what

you do. And we're driving away and her car was right, and she rolled

down the window, I'm going to call you, I've got to find out what you

do. I'm really serious.

Audience: Laughs

Ross: I said that's right. This is incredibly powerful. This is

unbelieveable. So ok, pay attention. (2) Listen to me, ask about

the one thing they do that challenges them the most. Ok. (3)

Ask for clarification if you need it. If you're not sure, like I

asked for a little clarification, what do you mean by that? Make sure

you understand what they're saying. (4) Listen for the personal

trance words. These are the words that they lean on. She leaned on support,

build and commitment. They'll give them extra emphasis. They'll

change their posture, look guys, look up here. When they use these

words they'll lean forward, they'll go like that. They'll lean into

you when they speak, or they'll put an extra expression, they'll say

it with a different emphasis. Do you understand?

Audience: Yes

Ross: So listen for the personal trance words. Write them down in

your head if you have to. Listen for clues as to the world model.

Are they saying I am. Do they say I don't believe that. I had a

woman say well I don't believe you can control your life. She said

that, well I went ok, that means she's out of control. Get out of

there. Do you understand? You'll be able to find out so much,

because often times like, have you ever been in a relationship and

you did everything right and they walked away from you anyway.

Sometimes the problem is they just don't believe they deserve it. And

you wind up feeling shattered when all along you could have found that

out in the first ten minutes. Thank you. If you people knew how

dangerous some of the talents that people in this room have, you would

be fighting me. But I'm not, because I don't exist. Ok. (6) Ask

them what's your belief about this. Do you believe that it'll always

be a challenge or will it one day be easy. Why do we ask that question?

Because that really forces them to go deep inside and really reveal

what they believe about themself in the world. If you hear like well

it's probably always going to be fucked, is that a positive person.

Do you think they'll appreciate you being positive with them?

Audience: No

Ross: Do you think that you're going to have to take a negative

approach. If it's worth it. By the way, if you're in employment

or personnel, you might find that these are some useful questions

to ask a potential employee

Nicky: Paul, there's something I forgot to mention. xxxx real shitty

xxxx

Ross: Ok. Well, I'll ask you before you make morning coffee ok.

Audience: xxxxxx

Ross: What's your belief about this challenge. Does that make sense?

It's like someone said, one of my favorite lines is, let's have breakfast.

Should I call you or nudge you.

Audience: Laughs

Ross: The other one is do you have a little Jew in you. Would you like

one?

Audience: Laughs

Ross: A little Jew, would you like one? (7) Use of, listen, number

7. Use of personal trance words and their world map is leverage to

get what you want. And (8) if you wish you can transition to another

pattern. Listen, look up here. Remember what I said about moving

from pattern to pattern. If you talk about this first, it's then

natural to move on and talk about relationships and say something like,

Nicky, do you know the other thing that I found out that people have

these models of the world, you know, about what they believe about

things but they, in your mind, in everyone's mind they also have a

map of the ideal relationship. But I find that they, people don't

think about it at the deepest level. Like if you would ask me about

five years ago, what's really important to you in a relationship,

I would have said sense of humor. And it's not that that quality

isn't important but I've learned that that's a quality in a person,

it's not a value in a relationship. The value is having fun. I've

found that when you focus on values you can find alot of different

avenues to get to that. So I'm just curious, if I were to say to

you, what's important to you in a relationship, what would you say?

Nicky: Honesty

Ross: Honesty. Well, I understand that honesty is a tremendously

important quality to have in a person but when you're with a person

who's honest, what does that allow you to experience. What is

the value? Well, if you're with someone and you know they're

honest what does that allow you to have with them. What does it

allow you to experience with them?

Nicky: I just don't know the word, the value of the word that I'm

looking for.

Ross: Could it, might be trust.

Nicky: Trust, there we go

Ross: Trust. So that allows you now, to natural transition to

talk about her ideal relationship, find out how she knows when she can

trust someone and then just use that as well. You don't need to

shift your tonality or move your pictures, you've gotten all the

information you need to demonstrate in your behavior. So, look, I'll tell

what we're going to do. Let's do this. So, we just spent the last

twenty to twenty five minutes doing this exercise. First of all let's

get some reports back. Who wants to share how they, what happened,

how you thought about.

Audience: xxxxx Laughs

Ross: Stand in line you big xxxxx. Alright, how many people here were

able to learn some really interesting things about the world or the

person they were talking to. How many people learned some, ok, what

did you learn, who did you work with?

Audience: With Rod

Ross: Ok, what were you able to listen about, who he thinks he is as

a person, let's go through the categories. Identity, possibility,

capability, deservingness. What were you able to learn about him?

Audience: At this moment and time right now he's got a big challenge

in front of him in his career. He sees, he's in real estate sales

and he just sees

Ross: Well without telling me what the challenge is, I want to know,

what did it tell you about him as a person. What did you learn about

who he is as a person.

Audience: That he sees alot of difficulties right now, and he believes

that he's close to finding a way to break through to have things be

easier one way or the other. He doesn't know how but he sees that he's

going to do it at sometime in the next couple of months probably.

Ross: So he does believe in his ability to resolve things.

Audience: Yeah

Ross: Ok. Did he reveal any of his personal trance words?

Audience: Yeah, he was talking about pushy was one that he said a couple

of times.

Ross: Pushing or pushy

Audience: Pushy, in terms, you know, as people in tranactions,

service was one, rapport, and I believe that

Ross: So without being pushy and being able to maintain the rapport

that you know you'd like to have, I'd like to tell you about this

quality of service that I can offer. I don't even know what you're

talking about but see boom boom boom. See how you use them. Did

you feel rapport with him as you listened

Audience: Yeah xxxxx

Ross: See you find similaries. It's a natural human tendency to find

similarities and if you don't find them in the subject matter, you'll

find them in something else. How did you feel when he talked to you?

Audience: We felt a bond because of common ground. Common challenges.

Ross: Exactly, right. And did you feel like he was pushing you or

did you feel like he was really finding out about you.

Audience: I felt that he understood where I was coming from.

Can I ask you a question?

Ross: Yes

Audience: In finding out his trance words I was trying to transpose

them into the relationship mode and to see how they applied,

Ross: But you don't do that. That's not the purpose

Audience: Ok

Ross: You don't do that. You're stepping out of bounds. Ok. Anyone

else? Share, share with the group. Who wants to share with the group?

Come on. He was switching and talking to the person about personal

relationships. You don't do that yet, I'll show you how. Does

anyone else want to share their experience? Somebody. Come on.

Audience: Can I clairfy something?

Ross: Ok, yeah

Audience: What I meant was that all the challenges that I had before

have been accomplished. I have accomplished all my goals. Financially,

real estate, xxxxx so now I'm having doubts whether to

stay in the real estate or get out.

Ross: What the big word you just used? Accomplish. Being really

accomplished is really important to you isn't it.

Audience: Yes

Ross: Would you say you're an accomplished person?

Audience: Yes

Ross: You know if I could show you a way to really add into that

absolute sense of accomplishment, how do you think you will feel about

that?

Audience: I feel that I'd open my mind to it.

Ross: You'd what?

Audience: I'd have an open mind towards it.

Ross: Right, so, you listen to these words. Who else, who else.

We have pizza waiting back here so let's move through this. Yes.

Bartholomew

Bartholomew: I find that he used the world in alot of control and he

hates it when he feels helpless, and he wanted to be in control.

Business, as I'm sure as well as personal life.

Ross: So is there anyway where he can feel in control he'll give you

anything. Ok, what are you doing crawling under the table Nicky?

Anyone else. In this room you've got to call me Ross, but ok. Ok,

anyone else. I know you ran into, what was your challenge.

Audience: I ran into trouble. Basically what I saw was I couldn't

pick up on any trance words. I couldn't pick up on anything.

Ross: Ok. Sometimes, well sometimes you may be harder to hear.

Audience: Yeah

Ross: Sometimes some people speak in a pretty even tone.

Audience: I couldn't pick up on

Ross: Were you able to get what his values and ideas were about

the world? Identity and possibility.

Audience: Not really.

Ross: Ok, well, let's have pizza and we'll work on it. Ok. Let's

take about ten to fifteen minutes to chow down.

Ross: So, let's talk about, let's continue to talk about this

exercise that we just did. You had a challenge, what was going on?

Audience: I wasn't able to focus on picking up any of the phrases,

any of the personal trance words that he might have

Ross: Some people, there's a couple of things about that, some people

just don't put much emphasis on what they say. Which tells you alot

about them right there. My guess would be that therefore they're

pretty disassociated, I don't know, I haven't, is that true?

Audience: Well my suggestion of experience that I was putting

in somewhat

Ross: Ok, so you maybe just didn't hear it.

Audience: Maybe

Ross: It could be, it's pretty loud in here. I would suggest that you

go out into the hallway sometime and try it again.

Audience: Ok

Ross: Ok, anyone else want to share about how they felt either when

someone was questioning them or how they, you know, what they learned

about the other person. One of the things you can do, is remember that

place in your mind where you have good judgment and good, in that place

in your mind, place those questions. What is this person telling me

about their identity, their possibility, their capability and their

deservingness. So if you'd just stop and close your eyes, that means

do it, and remember where in your mind you have that place with good

judgment and see those questions being stuck in there, what is this

person telling me about their identity, capability, possibility and

deservingness. And then just remember to do that whenever you're doing

this, you'll find it alot easier. Anyone else want to add anything.

Anyone?

Audience: I have a question

Ross: Yes, go ahead. What's your name?

Richard: Richard

Ross: Ok.

Richard: Since we're looking for leverage to use shouldn't our focus be

on something that has a sense of possibility within it, I know when I first

started with this, all the feedback I was getting had no sense of

possibility

Ross: Possibility for what?

Richard: For anything. I mean, the first

Ross: No. Erk, stop. When they give you this kind of information

the possibility is that you can use it to get what you want. I don't

understand what you mean by sense of possibility, I'm really not

understanding here, so let's try. What do you mean? By sense of possibly

for what?

Richard: Well, first of all the first three questions that I asked I

got the exact same response and that was.

Ross: What do you mean first three, you're suppose to ask one question

and then a second followup.

Richard: Right. And I asked the first question and the response was

that the question couldn't be answered because he was in the process

of changing careers, then I said what was the challenge in that.

Ross: Yeah

Richard: I can't answer that because I'm in the processing of changing

careers. And then

Ross: So what is it about changing careers that you find so challenging?

Richard: Well, I did get around to that and until I got around to, to

you know, him talking about, you know some potential for changing

careers or something before I actually got to anything that I thought

I could use.

Ross: Ok, well sometimes you have to press harder to find something.

Sometimes you have to ask more questions. You know when someone's

mind is a little scrambled or you know, I'm just teasing, I am teasing.

Audience: My mind is scrambled.

Ross: Ok, his mind is scrambled so he admitted it. Then you know I'm

not going to deal with this person. When my challenge is, I've got

so much resin in my brain I'm not saying, if you see those

responses, you know, this is probably someone that you're not going to

deal with. That's tell you enough right there the fact that you're

not getting responses tells you something, there something in the

wiring that you need to go, oh ho.

Richard: Yeah, but I didn't have that option, I was suppose to go on

for ten minutes.

Ross: Well, you always have an option in my seminar. This is not about

being a sheep, I'm not saying that you are, I'm saying it's about learning

to be flexible on your feet. Here's an opportunity to be flexible

Richard: No, but I, like I, well ultimately I, you know, we did get

past that and but you know I could when he was talking about what he

had done in the past, you know, like I was saying, he didn't talk about

any sense of possibility for, you know

Ross: Because his mind is totally focused in the past. That's the

problem. That's one of his challenges. And something that I've noticed

about him too with all due respect, he'll talk about his past. Which

shows you right then and there that you're going to have difficulty with

a person unless you can relate what you want him to do to his past or

you can get him off his past, if you could get him off his past, he would

become so suggestible because there's nothing there. You could fill in

any blank that you wanted. I hear this and it gives me tremendous, I'm

thinking whoa, look at that, that's fascinating. If I could get him off

his past and shut that down he a blank slate for me to write on. But

because, I'm not making fun of him, I'm simply saying because your

level of sophistication of understanding, this isn't at mind, you would

stop where I would go whoa that's fascinating. See what I mean. But

he's an extremely difficult subject. Try it again with someone else.

Richard: He was difficult until I got him beyond that

Ross: Ok, but you did, the point is you did get him beyond that.

Richard: Right

Ross: That's my point. Your first shot in the exercise under a time

pressure you got him beyond it. That's the point. That's what I want

you to focus on. The rest of this I don't necessarily care to hear.

But what I want you to focus on is the revelant issues, you did get

past it. The very part of your that knows how to get past it will

know how to get past it when you're thrown a challenge by a woman in

the real world. Congratulations. Give him a hand.

Audience: Claps

Ross: Notice how I reframed that. Ok, we'll take, yes.

Audience: I don't see how asking the two questions, answers

identity, capability, possibility xxxxx

Ross: Because you're testing their model of the world. By asking

someone what their challenge is, do you have to stop and think, this

challenges me because I'm not able to do, because I'm not the kind of

person who would do it because I don't deserve to have it. I just

believe the world doesn't allow anyone to have this. Asking that

question presupposes that they have to access on one or more of those

levels.

Audience: Oh, so you may just get one of these.

Ross: You may get one, you may get 2, 3 or 4.

Audience: How would identity come through.

Ross: I am a stock broker. I am a selfish person.

Audience: xxxxxxx

Ross: But they will may say that, they volunteer stuff. This opens

them up and they volunteer, they spill their guts. Do you understand?

Audience: A little

Ross: The questions presuppose their accessing, it's not like I'm

saying, what's your favorite color. What your favorite color?

Audience: Blue

Ross: Ok, I know you do. So do I. Purple, Jacquar Print,

remember, we talked about this. It's in my computer. A girl Missy

whom I'm working on. Leopard print and purple. My point is, look,

in order to answer the question, what's your real challenge, they

have to say it's a challenge. Something is a challenge for the

following reasons: I am not the kind of person who does this, what

would be your challenge with shoplifting?

Audience: It's illegal

Ross: But what's the challenge for doing something illegal?

Audience: I don't want to get caught.

Ross: Why don't you want to get caught?

Audience: I'll go to jail.

Ross: What's wrong with you going to jail.

Audience: I lose my freedom

Ross: Ah, now we're starting to hear a value, freedom, do you get

it. See now he's told me he a person who really values his freedom.

See in order to answer these questions you have to access at a deep

level. Get it.

Audience: Got it.

Ross: Step, take a step back. Take the content out of what happened

and look at the transaction. In order to understand NLP you have to

do it. You have to experience it for yourself to really understand

it. So take the content out, put it in a bigger frame and look at

what just happened here and here. What he did, is he was so focused on the

content of the exercise he ignored the fact, he didn't ignore it, he

saw it. He did see it because he told me he did. But he was focused

in on the challenge rather than focusing in on the fact that he got

past it. He knew he got past it, I'm not saying he didn't know it, but

that to me, that has ten billion percent significance and the fact

that it didn't come out the way that I would have planned it, he would

have planned it, has zero significance. Do you see what I mean? I look

at process not content. If you want to be a master in persuasion and

human endeavor, look at process not content. Do you have a question

or are you picking your nose, I can't tell. Let me move over here

with the microphone. I always get complaints, we can't hear the

question.

Audience: Can you tell me xxxxxxx what is the point of eliciting their maps

of the world by identity, capability

Ross: Because you gained tremendous information. If she says, I you

know, if she leans on the word support, Nicky said I am an interior

designer versus well I work in interior design. If someone says they are

what they do, that means that what he do is extremely important. What

is that tell you about dating and everything else. Oh, why don't

you take a day off from work and, you know, go to the races with me.

Maybe if they're feeling really stressed. But do you understand my

point.

Audience: xxxx gaining information, we're not trying to lead them

in any way.

Ross: You can, once you do this a few times, you'll learn to.

Audience: Alright, these questions we are asking, were that to elicit

their identity, all these four things or

Ross: Yes, yes

Audience: Just the first thing.

Ross: Yes, well, they will not necessarily get, you see, get off

procedure. Get off thinking that because I've labeled them in order,

1, 2, 3, 4, you'll hear them in 1, 2, 3. 4. 1, 2, 3, 4, only tells

you about my subjective mental state at the time I was writing these

notes. It doesn't necessarily tell you the order in which you'll get

these in the real world. Understand the distinction.

Audience: Yes I understand.

Ross: By the way procedure is very important to you isn't it.

Audience: Yeah

Ross: If I could show you a way where you would understand, step by

step, every thing you needed to do, so you could lay it out in front

of you and follow, look at his eyes get wide. I'm using, I'm

demonstrating, I'm teaching, I know from they way the type of, I say

to myself what's the common thread in what he's asking. He's focused

on procedure, he's focused on order, it's important to be orderly

isn't it.

Audience: Sure is

Ross: Would you say you were an orderly person.

Audience: Absolutely

Ross: Then you proceed in an orderly fashion.

Audience: What else is there. Laughs

Ross: And plus part of the xxxx of what I'm teaching is it will allow you

to proceed in an orderly predictable fashion in getting Mr. Happy wet

and satisfied.

Audience: Laughs

Ross: See, am I psychic, no. Am I listening?

Audience: Yes

Ross: And am I asking myself the right set of questions.

Audience: Yes

Ross: See, you just do, Bart looking at me like he is in love. Stop

that. No, did you get it?

Audience: That's right

Ross: So the whole thing is, did I learn information about you. Why

could it be useful. Because I can get you to do anything the fuck I want

if I put it in your model. Now let's say we have someone who values

creativity and spontaneity. Do you think I'd take the same approach with

him. Absolutely not. You'd probably view someone like that as lazy,

disorganized, sloppy, shiftless and a flaky bum, right? Yeah, but in

an extreme. That's an extreme. Oh, no, that's an extreme. See I've

been doing this longer than you but you guys can do this. There's no

tonality involved, you're not going as you find yourself thinking of

something, although you are finding yourself thinking of something,

no, but, what am I pointing to my

Audience: Laughs

Ross: So, you get it. More questions. By the way do you see how good

the seminar works when you ask questions. Ok. It makes it seem alot

more orderly.

Audience: Laughs

Ross: Do you understand where the power is in this. Then she will spill

her guts and tell you stuff and even if you don't use hyponotic suggestion

you don't need to. Look at the pleasure trance state you went into when

I said those things. I didn't even have to say them, all I had to do was

point to where he sees them in his mind, right. Up and to your right.

You think about things in an up right orderly way. Yeah, see, you look

up there. In fact, look down into your left for a minute and try to

think of something orderly without looking up into your right. See, if

I want to confuse him I just wipe his pictures out and go like that.

Keep pointing down. Yeah, where were we. Trance, that's where you were

again. Back now. More questions. Yes.

Audience: Is this stuff designed to get information that is basically true

about the person or do you have to be on guard. xxxxxxx

Ross: If you're dealing with their coil level of challenges you're not

going to get, you know, well, first of all one of the reasons I get

that prefice, where I say, I know there are some things you do that

are easy and other things that are difficult. There are some things to

challenge and other things you can do in your sleep. With me. Sleep

with me. Did you hear the command. Oh, we'll get to punctuation and

ambiguity later. You're going to get xxxx with the stuff because

you're dealing with this stuff, I'm saying don't, when I say there

are some things that are easy, there are some things that are

challenge, and I say what's the challenge, I'm going don't tell me about

the easy stuff. Do you get it. Do you all get that. When I say there

are some things that you really like to eat and there are some things

that you don't and I don't want to hear and tell me about what you

like to eat, I'm also saying don't tell me about what you don't. Get it.

The set up helps, everything I do, everything I do, is designed to keep

them going in that direction. You know the metaphor I give of fishing.

That someone who shall now go nameless told me, is that when you're fishing

i consider that I have a 100 lb line and a 5,000 lb fish.

And when the fish swims up I'm going to watch and see what

what part of the bait it likes. What does this fish

respond to. Is it responding to me talking about feelings, is the

fish responding to my talking about challenges, is the fish responding

to my putting pictures in their head. Once I see that the fish is

hooked, where most people make the mistake, is they start reeling really

hard. The fish feels the tug, breaks the line and swims away. What I

do is I keep myself focused and I'm reeling myself to the fish so the

fish never feels the tug of the line until it's too late and then the

fish just eliminates it's own resistance and goes, oh, this is natural,

this is right. It feels right to jump into the boat, be gutted, skinned

boned, fried up and eaten. I'm going to jump into the boat now. And

some people on the Net criticizes me, they go you're teaching rape.

I go wait a minute. Wait a woman says please, please, do me, do me,

and she jumps on me and rips my clothes off and rides me like a

screaming xxxx and goes more and more and more, where is the rape, I

don't get it. I'm the one being raped.

Audience: Laughs

Ross: I don't want that

Audience: Laughs

Ross: I mean could you see the trial. My attorney gets her up on the

stand and says, at that point what did you say to Ross. And the witness

goes, I said fuck me, do me hard all night long and then what did you

do? I ripped off his pants and rode him. Now what is the jury going

to go. Case dismissed. But I later decided that I really didn't want to

do it so it's a retroactive expost facto revocation of consent. I mean

you know, you don't need to be Johnnie Cochran to defend that kind of

case.

Audience: Laughs

Ross: By the way I think he's an incredible lawyer. If I ever got

my ass in trouble I'd sell my blood to get this man to defend me.

Nicky: Have you noticed what he did with tonality

Ross: He's very xxxxx

Nicky: Yeah, everybody, it's not the way Chris Darden was totally

moving his xxxxxxxxxx

Ross: He's smooth as rippling silk

Nicky: Right and Chris Darden acted like, I mean, like such an ass,

you know in front of everybody he was screaming, he was caring on

like a baby and Judge Ito did not like that. Johnnie Cochran, you

noticed he modularly xxxxxx whether he does it consciously or

subconsciously, the fact is

Ross: He's very good and he goes your honor. He's got that, you know

what else is good. Want to see good hypotist. There's this freak,

I was up at 3:00 in the morning one night, I turned on Praise the Lord. They

had this freak and his thing is people laugh hysterically when he

touches them. And they've got all these born again Christians in

their God stretch pants and rolling in the floor laughing hysterically. He

fills them with the spirit. He goes, these are not drunk as you suppose,

but as it's

written by the prophet xxxxx and instead of just falling over they

just laugh hysterically.

Audience: I almost called you.

Ross: Don't call me at that hour.

Audience: Laughs I thought about it

Ross: Well, don't don't don't. Well listen to me, listen. Robert

Shuler is a master tone of control. Robert Shuler will go he'll talk

in a regular voice and then he'll pause, and then he'll go, and then the Lord

acted. He's really good. Shuler is an incredible. I sat there one day,

an NLP buddy of mine we're all writing down everything that he was doing you

know. I actually saw one guy doing submodalities where he didn't know what

he was doing but some women said it's like the problems are just

right in front of you and then God comes along and moves them away.

He was, it was like the power of God wipes it out. He goes yeah.

But then he said, but sometimes they come right back.

Audience: Laughs

Ross: It didn't know what he was doing. I'm convinced he didn't know.

But the fact of the matter is people do this stuff, you'll always going

to do it, you can't not do it. If that being the case, do it with the

libidinous in a way where you get what you want and hopefully the other

person is happy too. Come out of trance. You were like, she's looking at

me like, ok, if you need to go outside and shake yourself, it's very

distracting.

It's like having a basset hound sit there and xxxxx just chill.

Find a way to orderly do that. So do you all see, we'll try this

exercise again tomorrow. I want you to sleep on it. And we'll try

it again tomorrow with a different set of partners but do you understand

the power of it.

Audience: Yes

Ross: Alright. Let's move on to weasel phrase review. One of the

things I love about these tools is how they interlock and if you pay

attention you'll see that I'm only using these tools all the time.

And weasel phrases in particular I used virtually in every pattern

that I do all the time. Because they're so slimy. In fact, when I

was dealing with this producer, and I had lunch with her, I was going to

test something. I tested something, I said something along the lines of, I

said, so if I were to say to you and then I said something and she didn't like

it. I could tell, I got a strong negative response. She said well I

really don't like at all, that's right, that's why I said if I were to

say to you. Because I didn't really say it. Did I. She went ah, no.

See. So I'm always weaseling around. And weasel phrases allow

you to introduce these things and then step back from them if you have

to. Weasel phrases, there's a chapter in the workbook on weasel phrases.

What weasel phrases let you do is embedd commands, they set up the

embedded command, they let you step back from something that may offend

somebody, they let you get into topics that might otherwise be over

sensitive, you know. Instead of saying what's important to you in a

relationship, I'll go so if I were to say to you what's important to you

in a relationship, what might your answer be. It's all hypothetical

theoretical, it's not like we're really talking about it and you're

spilling your guts and telling me everything I need to make you feel

like you madly in love with me, am I. Do you understand? I want to

teach you, the basic principle here is you want to soften what you do.

You always want to feel that the fish doesn't feel the tug on the line.

And weasel patterns, the weasel phrases are like the grease that lets

you slip other things in.

Audience: Laughs

Ross: And when you think about things slipping in, well, it's like

melted chocolate running all through your body. That's right. What

was that I missed the comment. Ok, no comment. So if I were to say

to you, does anyone want to give me an example of how we could use

that weasel phrase, if I were to say to you. Any brave student.

Anyone.

Audience: A friend of mine, Johnny said, want to what you said, I

can't believe what Johnny said. If I were to say to you what Johnny

said that this guy had the biggest dick in the world, can you believe

that Johnny said some shit like that. I wouldn't, I don't know.

Ross: Well you're using quotes then.

Audience: That won't work

Ross: It might. Why, I don't know why would you want to talk about

the fact that someone else has a big dick but

Audience: Laughs

Ross: It doesn't quite do it for me.

Audience: I didn't see it

Ross: Does anyone else want to try if I were to say to you. Yes,

the brave and the trumpet, Nicky, Nicky, go ahead Nick.

Nicky: Well for an example if a guy were to come up to you, you know,

at a bar or a party or whatever and think he seem cool in picking you

up, going hey baby, what's your sign, hands off please, but if he came

up to you and said hey, Nicky, listen if I, supposing I were to come

up to you and say, hey, what's your sign, that might really be a turn

off. So I'd never say that to you, you know, I would say,

Ross: Right

Nicky: And so what he's done is really soften the blow. Because you know

the first thing is when ladies hear a particular line it's like oh, come

on, you know. So if you soften the blow or like I would never say

that to you.

Ross: That's good. And you get to see what the response is and in

fact you're quoting yourself without taking responsibility for the

quote. A politician would love this one. Ladies and Gentlemen of

America, if I were to say to you I'm going to increase taxes, I'm not

saying that, Mr. Gingrich said that. Yeah. By the way I must tell you

through my friend Shawn Morton who will probably be here tomorrow,

I met Bill Clinton's illegimate half brother. Who looks just like

slick Willy but only a little bit chubbier. And you wouldn't believe

the stories this guy told.

Audience: I bet he's got some great ones.

Ross: Go ahead Bruce.

Bruce: In that case, it's also possible that if she really was

an astrology, xxxxx

Ross: Exactly, xxxxx Or you'll say something like let's say you feel

your particular line is a little corny, you could say, if I were to

say to you, you're a shining example of genetic perfection, would you

laugh and think it's clever or would you just sneer and walk away.

And they'd said I just sneer and walk away, you'll go that's why you

need a much more sincere and sensitive approach. I just wanted to

meet you, my name is Ross.

Nicky: Right. It is. It's the perfect weasel phrase. And I mean

not only to save yourself from a potentially embarrassing situation

but it's another way to figure out, you know, what you can say

Ross: Right, you can test to see what. So you know if you look at

a girl you say you know, at this point in the evening if I were to

say to you, I'd like to do you like a plate of pudding.

Audience: Laughs

Ross: And as you see this. But if you go, she goes xxxx in fact

when I did this with this producer she didn't like I said, of

course, and that's why I would never say that.

Audience: Laughs

Ross: I didn't use the pudding thing. It was another example. I

said for me you need a much more direct and sincere approach.

Nicky: Right, it allows you to get yourself out of

Ross: You can step around anything with this. It's like the punches

never touch you because they slide off the grease.

Nicky: xxxxxx what would you do if xxxxxx

Ross: Yeah, presupposing that he wasn't singing out of tune.

Audience: Laughs

Ross: Ok. I love this one. How surprised would you be to. How

surprised would you be to find yourself falling madly in love with me.

What's the presupposition.

Nicky: You are falling in love

Ross: Yeah, it's not whether you are or you aren't but are you going

to be surprised by the fact. We'll get into presuppositions a little

bit later. But some weasel phrases allow you set up quotes, they

allow you to set up presuppositions, have you ever, of course we know

my favorite weasel phrase. Why is have you ever so powerful? It

sounds like a question but in fact it's not a question at all. It's

a command to stop, go inside, remember the experience of whatever

the person is describing. So if I were to say to you Nicky, have you

ever felt the sense of absolute, you know, like maybe as you start

to look carefully, you really listen. And you were to allow the

warmth of that voice to penetrate your thoughts, and spread all through

you. Well, you know, if I were to say to you have you ever experienced

that, gee, never mind, I wouldn't say it. Ok, have you ever. It's

too bad you can't. I'm going to show you a special pattern coming up

to blow your mind. I call it a ratchet pattern using it's too bad you

can't. It's too bad you can't find yourself thinking those certain

thoughts. Notice what's it like, notice what it's like. I use this

one for moving pictures around. Instead of saying, Debbie put that picture

of me right in that place where you picture someone who you want to have

sex with. I'll say, instead I'll say notice what it's like, I'll say

notice what it's like as a picture of me sneaks itself, powers itself

right into that location. Do you see what I'm saying. Do you get it.

Notice what it's like. That presupposes it that it's going to happen.

Does that make sense?

Audience: Yes

Ross: You look at me with blank stares. Does it make sense?

Audience: Yes

Nicky: Do it again Paul please

Ross: So notice what it's like as the warmth of that voice just starts

to move in a certain direction. Yeah. And as it continues to move

down it intensifies in that warmth. Now if you were to allow a color

that describes that feeling to pop into your mind, what color might you

tell me it is. And as that maroon just gets brighter and brighter and

begins to swirl all around and up and down and through you. I don't

want to suggest that you might be getting to have certain images, but

notice what it's like is an image of me, just. Well, never mind. I

wouldn't say any of that. Yeah, that's right and chocolate. And you

know Nicky you may think those thoughts are above me but really I

think they are below me.

Audience: Laughs

Ross: Because you're coming from a much deeper place. In your mind.

Ok. So, notice what it's like, it's too bad you can't, do you see all

of those? And even though she's cooperating and knows what I'm doing

it still has an effect doesn't it. As you go more inside. Feel that

intensifying. Yeah. It's a penetrating thing. Do you get the thrust

of what I'm saying?

Audience: Laughs

Nicky: I totally get the thrust as well as xxxxxx

Ross: Good, shut up now. Ok, now listen. I want to show you a

pattern that I call a ratchet pattern. And you know you might think

those thoughts are hard on me but

Audience: Laughs

Ross: This is creating an opening, no, let's stop. What

Nicky: xxxx

Ross: No, no, we're off this. Listen, listen, listen. I want to show

you a ratchet pattern. This pattern can be used for, primarily I use

this pattern for sexual acceleration. I used this pattern on a real

witch who works at the learning annex. She use to give me grief whenever

she called me to give me my class assignments. And the first time she

talked to me she said, look, I know what you do, so don't even try

your bullshit on me.

Audience: Laughs

Ross: Hey, I didn't even flinch. Remember the layer of grease that

surrounds me. So here's what I said. I said, here's what I said, I

said you're absolutely right. I said you know what I do and nothing

I can try would work. It's useless. There's nothing I could say that

would cause you to go inside and absolutely convince yourself that you

want to be seduced. But if you could, imagine exactly what the right

words would have to be and hear me saying them on the inside in

exactly the right voice, in the exactly right tonality, that sure would

feel great doesn't it. And as that's happening it's too bad you can't

feel the warmth of that voice beginning to heat up into a fire and

your heart beginning to pound with the pleasure of that but if you

could and also feel that heat beginning to well drop down to certain

places, well, and she goes, how old are you?

Audience: Laughs

Ross: So the ratchet pattern basically works by saying, by basically

saying it's too bad you can't and then you name what you want them

to experience and then you say but if you could. And as that's

happening and you keep jacking them up and up and up with every

cycle of it's too bad you can't, you keep giving a greater and greater

description so by the time you're finished, they're fainting. Do you

get it? And you don't have to use it with sexual arousal, you can use

it, yet say to me, let's say I'm not suggestible, hypnosis doesn't

work, ok. That's right. It's too bad you can't enter a state of

total suggestibility. But if you could and find that your entire

world narrows down so everything you hear and see is what's right in

front of you. And as that's happening, and you allow my voice to

totally penetrate your thoughts, it's too bad you can't find yourself

having certain ideas. But if you could, ok, so here's the point.

You just keep doing it, and you keep ratching up, it's never enough

when you feel that good. Is it? Do you get my point. I want to

stop playing up here because you guys, I understand you. So look,

so let me show you how the pattern works. The pattern works like this.

The first thing you do. Let's handle the thing she says you'll never

hear this if you do the rest of these patterns right but let's say she

said, I'm just not attracted to you. Ok. The first thing I would say is

you're right I state the agreement. Why am I stating agreement?

Audience: To get out of the way

Ross: Right I'm stepping out of the way of it by going along with

it. So state your agreement, you're right. And it's too bad you can't

find yourself becoming more attractive, more attracted. I'll say, it's

too bad you can't. And then fill in the blank, blank and the blank

would be whatever state or process of feeling that you want them to

have. You're right, it's too bad you can't feel incredibly horny. It's

too bad, you can't what else, what other commands would you like to give

her, what else.

Audience: Fall in love now.

Ross: It's too bad you can't fall in love now. Let's name some, guys.

Get, feel horny, feel obsessed, fall in love now. So, ok, so you will

say something like this and yeah she says you know I just, I just really

take my time, it takes months for me to fall for a guy. I go well

you're right. It's too bad you can't fall in love immediately and allow

that to happen but if you could and then you start to give me more

commands that feed into this. But if you could and then you start to

give me more commands. But if you could and also, but if you could and

also feel that growing openness in your heart, you know that warmth of

opening your heart completely to someone you realize absolutely right

for you. And you feel that irresistible desire to give yourself to this

incredible person. Do you get it? But if you could and then you just

give commands that accelerate your state. But if you could and as that's

happening if you could also and then give more commands to accelerate

it even more. Get it? And then you'd say that should would feel great

don't you. You could use this to virtually defeat anything. Any kind

of resistance, this will crush all resistance. It sure would feel

great. Doesn't it or don't you, it doesn't matter. Either way will

work. I like don't you. That sure would feel great don't you because

then they have to go yes. Yeah, use don't you. And then you, let's

say you want to continue on. And then you say and it's too bad you

can't and accelerate it even more and go right through the cycle again.

Keep running them through the cycle until they're slipping in what

they're dripping.

Audience: Laughs

Ross: Ok, do you see how you'd run through the cycle again and keep

running it and running it. She's going men are such pigs. Oink,

And running it and running it. Do you get it? It flow hitting, boom,

boom, boom. So, here's what I want you to do. I want you to think

of one of the most common objections you heard a woman say in terms of

saying I can't do this. Or I just don't this. So think, stop a minute,

take a minute to write down what's one the most common objections you

hear a woman say. For men, I can't commit or whatever. Ok. No, no.

listen to me it's got to be objections framed in the words I can't or

I don't. Ok. What Bruce. Yeah, write it down. Do you understand

what I'm asking you to do. Some people are giving me blank looks.

Who does not understand? I want you to write down one of the most

common objections you hear from women where they say I don't fall in

love quickly. Or I'm not attracted to you. Write down an objection

that is framed in the negative. Yes.

Audience: I can't cheat on my husband or boyfriend

Ross: Good, good. Write that down.

Audience: Laughs

Ross: They always do. By the way guys, what do you think, you're getting

your money's worth?

Audience: Yeah, hell yes

Ross: We haven't even gone through the week end yet, it's just the

introductory evening.

Audience: One real common one is I don't go to bed on the first date.

Ross: Oh, write it down.

Audience: I hear that one all the time.

Ross: What.

Audience: It's something wrong with xxxxxx

Audience: Laughs

Ross: He don't like hearing it.

Nicky: Well, I know you don't like hearing it, you know

Ross: It's like a man thing, I can't commit.

Nicky: xxxx I'm just not ready for a relationship right now.

Ross: But of course you're not but if you could

Nicky: Right

Ross: But if you could feel that readiness growing. As that desire

to really be with somebody who fills all the needs that are so

important you haven't even dared whispering them to yourself. Yeah,

of course. Bull shit, it doesn't mean anything. Come on, come up

with some. What do you come up, name some of the things you hear

like what?

Audience: I don't do threesomes

Ross: I don't do

Audience: Laughs

Ross: Yes, Lou.

Lou: I'm not into that kinky shit.

Audience: Laughs

Ross: Have you guys been doing the same girls?

Audience: Laughs I don't sleep with a guy so soon

Ross: I don't sleep with a guy so soon.

Audience: xxx threesome pattern yet

(laughs)

Ross: Have you ever experienced the love that a man can share with

more than one woman? Yes

Audience: I don't have the time

Ross: I don't have the time

Audience: Or I'm really busy

Ross: How about I can't. Or it won't work, or whatever or it won't

or it's just not happening. Alright, ok, so stop guys. So look up

here. Let's say I don't do threesomes. I would frame that, you know

how I would turn that around, I would say well of course, you don't

want to do threesomes. But if you could and really begin to feel

your imagination going on disengage to the point to where, I would

say, let me back up, I would go, of course, you don't want to but

if you could, maybe to the point where you know how like when you're

on vacation and you find yourself giving yourself new permission,

permission to do all sorts of wild ideas and things you normally

wouldn't even talk about and you feel that desire to do new things

growing. As that's happening, blah blah, I would use something

like that. I am very tired right now but I would take the pattern

and put it through that. Do you understand? I am not into that

kinky shit. Well, of course, you're not but if you could feel that urge

to do something kinky growing and as that urge continues to expand,

maybe you begin to have certain fantasies. You know, like how you see

someone, some movie star or someone and you just imagine what it would

be like to do anything you want with that person and how all your

friends would admire the fact that you spent that wild night. And as

you find those images of you and me fitting to right to that place in

your mind, it's too bad you can't feel that urge beginning to heat

up through your body like a fire racing through a forest. But if you

could

Audience: Laughs

Ross: You see. I just think what would be the opposite of that that

would tie into her fantasy? I'm going to patent that one. Yeah.

Audience: Another xxxx to that, you might say something about well if you

could

enjoy those feelings, imagine what it would be like to have, not just

one, but two people totally concentrating on your pleasure and totally

go deep within and see what it's like.

Ross: That's pretty good too Bruce.

Bruce: In other words, that way it switches her thoughts

Ross: But if you could, but we're not talking about that pattern. We're

talking about it's too bad you can't, but we are doing that. We're

saying it's too bad you can't, but if you could. It's too bad you can't

blah blah blah blah but if you could. We are using if you could but we're

using it a little bit later. We're pushing them from they're not and

then engage you could. And engaging the not and then engaging the could.

Get it. I like to use this as a sexual accelerator pattern. You know,

let's say, let's use for the friends and the lovers pattern. I know that

we've been friends for a long time, I know you just can't find it inside

of you to be attracted to me but if you could blah blah blah and

describe what that would feel like and what you'd be picturing. See.

I knew you can't find that attraction growing but if you could, maybe to

the point to where you just begin to imagine what it would be like to

have every desire and fantasy fulfilled and even more, beyond anything

you even dare to allow yourself to think about and as that's happening

if you could feel the pleasure and excitement of that racing through

your body to the point where any, do you understand what I'm saying.

Get the idea? Too bad you can't but if you could and as that's

happening but if you could, yes.

Audience: You ask her for a date and she said it's not going to

happen.

Ross: It's not going to happen

Audience: Right

Ross: Well, you might, I would use confusion with that. I would

go, well that's the difference between me. Because

Audience: Laughs

Ross: Because there's what you know you know and then there's what

you know, but you don't know you know it. And when what you know, but

you don't know you know becomes what you know you know, you just start

to think things differently, you know. I'd do a confusion pattern.

Alright, say how do you know. I know, You go as you are knowing that

are you seeing a picture maybe. No, no, I'll go how do you know, go

how do you know that you don't want to as you are knowing that you

don't want to are you seeing a picture of not wanting to. And notice

what it's like as that picture smalls itself only as fast as the

picture of you and me fulfilling your wildest fantasies sneaks itself,

powers itself, right into it's place and locks itself down there. Like

a person being chained to a bed. Ready for helpless pleasure all

night long. Aren't you? Get it. Ok, we're going to go through all

these patterns in detail during the course of the weekend, I'm just

giving you an overview here. What's the basic principle. Stop, think

big frame. The basic principle is if someone use anything that you're

offered, if someone offers you something don't resist, take it, move

with it and use the force of that against the opponent. Do you

understand? Never, never ask why. Why don't you want to. Because

that forces her deeper into her objection. Nicky, object to something

I say. Let's say you don't want to do something, anything I don't care.

Say, I don't want to go to work, whatever

Nicky: I don't, Paul, I never kiss on the first date,

Ross: Why not?

Nicky: Because, asshole, I said I'm not.

Ross: Why not?

Nicky: Because I said so.

Ross: Why

Nicky: Because I never kiss on the first date.

Ross: But that's not good enough, why, why don't you

Nicky: Because I'm not attracted to you, damn it.

Ross: See

Nicky and Audience: Laughs

Ross: Exactly. It forces her to lie. You know, it forces her to

go

Audience: Laughs

Nicky: That was very good

Ross: And true. See she just admitted it.

Nicky: Yes

Ross: Listen. It forces her deeper into the objection. If you ask

why

Nicky: You made me defensive and very uncomfortable

Ross: It just forces someone deeper into the objection as they come up

with the reasons why they don't want to do it. If you ask yourself

reasons why you do something, you just come up with reasons to keep

doing it, you'll stay stuck. That is the structure of a defunct. Why

do I always screw up. You make images in your mind of why you did it,

you see pictures of yourself screwing up and then what happens is when

it comes to deem that situation again, what does your brain replay?

What's you been reviewing. So you make the mistake all over again.

And you're stuck. So don't, never, ever ask someone why, unless it's

presupposing. Here's what I did, I say this, something else I

said to this producer I'm working on her at all angles, I said you know,

I said, I said you know, after you have fallen for me completely and

you've discovered just how wonderful that feels, I am wondering if you'll

be willing to share with me what exactly was it about me that caused you

to come to that conclusion? So alot of women say it's my sense of humor.

I do make you laugh don't I? So in a sense that's asking why but it's

presupposing the outcome I want, you know, I didn't say after we've

gone out and you found me to be an absolute disgusting boring clown

and discovered how horrible you feel being with me, I am wondering if

you'll be willing to scream at me what exactly it was to cause you to

think that.

Audience: Laughs

Ross: Be careful. So many people use negative presuppositions that

people pick up on it. I don't suppose you'd want to go out with me,

would you. I guess you're not doing anything better Saturday night.

yuck, yuck.



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