ADVANCED SPEED SEDUCTION SEMINAR
TAPE 1
Ross: To my Super Speed Seduction Weekend. I know you guys are going to
be blown out of the water. I have been working on this material to the
extent you would not believe. Before we get you into the meat of this
I would just like to ask, how many people here have been to a previous
seminar, raise your hand. Ok. How many people have listened to the home
study course or read the home study course book or work book. Ok. How
many people here have absolutely no exposure to any of my material at any
time. Ok. That's fine. That'll work. That's fine. So you've all
had some exposure. A couple of administrative points and then we'll get
on to the meat of this. We'll going to be here from 5:00 to 10:00, we'll
probably take a pizza break, we'll have pizza brought in around 7:00, 7:30
so you will be fed. Tomorrow we go from 9:30 to 6:00 and Sunday we go from
9:30 to 6:00. Tonight what we'll be covering are some basic principles.
We're going to be reviewing the basic principles. hold your question,
we'll be reviewing the basic principles to make this work and the basic
tools. I might give you a new pattern, I might not. Saturday, we're
going to be going through patterns, some new patterns I've done and
some stuff that's also in the home study course and Sunday we're going
to be doing hot seats. Ok. I forgot to bring the hot seat form to fill
out if you want to do hot seats. I will have them tomorrow. So if you
want to do hot seats make sure you see Yates and, what the hot seats are
about is if you have some specific challenge, there's one particular
woman that you've always been after or something like that, you get up
here and we work with you and we carve out an exact strategy for you
to follow. And some of my top students will be here, some of them are
already in the room tonight. They are here to help you. One point I
want to make. This seminar is not about competition. I know as men
we are very competitive, this seminar is about cooperating. I want
everyone here to have the attitude of helping each other. When I break
you up in groups to do exercises, I want you to do the exercises. Is
that clear?
Audience: Yeah
Ross: Ok, good, you're giving me the verbal feedback. It's yes or no.
The next point I want to make is, we will be taking breaks fairly
frequently, so don't worry about that. There's no name tags, you don't
have to ask permission to go to the bathroom or any of the other bullshit.
I am vulgar in my language so if you are offended by vulgar language,
get the fuck out now. Ok. Because I'm teaching very sophisticated
concepts and the only way I can keep my own mind fresh is by descending
into the gutter on frequest occasions. So, we will have women in the
room, they are here as my demonstration subjects, don't worry about
them, you're presence here is confidential, that's no problem. If you
want to try patterns on them, feel free, but not inside the room. If
you want to mess with them out there and try some of this stuff, feel
free. Ok. In this room, unless I'm assigning you to work with them, leave
them alone. Ok. And, this is Jackie, she was at one of my seminars
I taught her one day from the learning annex, she's one of our
subjects here so, hello Jackie. The other thing I'll tell you about,
I promise to, all demonstration subjects, male or female, that I will
not embarrass or humiliate you, in an unhealthful fashion.
Audience: Laughs
Ross: So, I think that about covers all of the administrative stuff.
One final point, if you have a question, I insist that you ask it. My
dedication is to make sure you get this material. I have seen in my
own life the difference it has made in the fun I have as a result of
learning these skills. I've seen what some of my better students
has been able to do with this. There is no greater joy for me than to
have my student call me up and go Ross, you wouldn't believe it,
this chick is madly in love with me, I can't believe it, blah, blah,
I love hearing that. When I hear that someome is getting results
it's just blowing their mind, it blows my mind, I love it. So, if
you have a question, ask it. Will everyone agree to that, will you
ask a question if you've got it.
Audience: Yes
Ross: The only exception is, do not ask me questions during the break.
For two reasons: (1) I need the breaks, and (2) the other people
in the room don't get to hear the benefit of the answer. Is that fair?
Audience: Yes
Ross: Alright, so let's get started tonight. Huh, what is this
really all about? There is varying degrees in this room right now
of understanding of my material, and I realize that. I realize some
people get it at a great degree and some people get it to a lesser
degree. The real major point, the real basic principles that this is
all about. There's basically there's two full principles. First it's about
creating a state for yourself, learning to create and control your
own state so that when you go into a situation, you have a state that's
powerful and fun and you feel totally confident that you're going to
get the result. You see, I can give you the best possible tools in
the world, but if you're not in the right state when it becomes time
to use those tools, it's going to be worthless, you're not going to be
able to do anything with it. And that's why in my home study course,
raise your hand if you got the home study course, so we all know
about the unstoppable confidence tapes, do we all have those?
Audience: Yes
Ross: Does anyone listen to those.
Audience: Yes
Ross: Alright, the point of those exercises, sit towards the front if
you can, if you can find a seat towards the front do so, there's one
next to this gentleman, so sit there if you can or Yates make sure
they're properly ushered in. The point of those unstoppable confidence
tapes was not to passively listen, the point was to use them to build
the state for yourself where you're very powerful and you're able to do
what you need to do. I mean, how many people have ever been in a
situation when you meet, where you see a woman that you would like to
meet and you think of the exact right thing to say to her, an hour
later after she's walked out of your life forever, has it ever happened?
Audience: Yes, Oh yeah
Ross: So what I propose, I'm proposing some things that are fairly
preposterous. One of the things I'm proposing is you can learn to
control your states. Now we live in a society that teaches
that emotions are out of our control. I tend to propose two things:
(1) That you can control your own states; and (2) You can learn to
control and direct the states of the women that you want to control
and direct. Now traditional psychological thinking will tell you
that's impossible. I hope that you already know that they're are
wrong and I'm right and by the end of the evening, by the end of the
weekend, I'm sure you'll be convinced that I'm right. In fact, if
you were to find yourself being totally convinced by every word
I say, won't it be great after you've enjoyed a weekend filled with
being in that state of absolute suggestibility. Have you ever
experienced absolute suggestibility? As you find yourself reentering
that state, and allow my words to deepen and just intensify that state,
I feel great knowing that I'm helping you to learn. And so I think we should
start by giving me a big round of applause, huh?
Audience: Claps
Ross: There you go, there you go. Thank you. See, thank you and by the
way I just demonstrated some things, did anyone hear the embedded
commands and the other thing. Did anyone hear the weasel phrases
and other things. So, they're really just a couple of basics. Well,
that's basic (1) learning to control your own state and due to feedback
from my students in previous seminars, I will be taking you through
some exercises to help build that confidence and so when you walk out
with the unstoppable confidence tapes, you'll know how to work with
and better yourselves. Fair enough?
Audience: Yeah.
Ross: Ok. The other aspect of all this is that you can learn to
control and direct the states of the women, not just women, but in
any area of your life, I mean, my student, Mark, I'm very proud of
Mark. This is Mark xxxxxxx. Mark, stand up and take a bow, just
for a second. Mark has been using these skills, not just romantically
but in, shall we say, other areas.
Mark: Other areas.
Ross: So these skills are useful for persuading anyone. And let's talk
about the basics about that. What are the basics of using these skills
to persuade others? Let's look at some basic principles. And these
are in your notes. You should all have a set of notes. Basic
principles. Basic principles. This is what this is all about. Let's
set your notes down. What this is really about is creating a conversational
framework, a conversational framework that allows you to direct the
prophesis and emotional states of the woman that you want to seduce.
And what we do is we set up a framework where we do whatever we need to
to get these results. And it seems like normal conversation. Now,
there are two different styles of doing this. You can be conversational
and covert, that's where you just sneak things into your conversation,
or you can be very blatant and directive. Guess what? They both work.
How many people here have a fear of being caught using this stuff? Be
honest. You don't need to be afraid. Because I'm telling you when you
do this right, it doesn't matter. They will say things like, I know
you're doing this and it's still working. I know you're doing
something but it doesn't matter, this is working. I go that's right.
Let me give you an illustrated example of this. I like, personally
if I have my choice, I'd do this. I enjoy being blatant, I enjoy
telling people what to do and by the way for alot of women, it's a
turn on. When you're blatant and you're powerful about it, alot of
them, not all, are turned on by that, they think hey this guy is
really powerful. It's a skill to learn which one you're dealing with.
And sometimes you have to do a little trial and error to find out. If
I start out being blatant and I don't like the response that I'm getting,
I'll back off and be more conversational and covert. One of the skills
that you need to learn to really master this material at a powerful
level is the ability to back off if what you're doing isn't working.
And take a different approach. Ok. How many of you here has tried
some of this and when you tried it she wasn't responsing well, so you
just shut down and quit. Raise your hand if that's happened. Keep
your hands up. What's your name?
Eric: Eric
Ross: Eric, what was your experience? Tell your experience in trying
it and didn't get a good result so you backed off.
Eric: Well, there was a, this was a couple of months ago or actually three
weeks ago, I was talking to the receptionist at the doctor's office
and I figured, you know, I was just getting into the material, and I figured
ok, what the hell. We'll try something and I forget exactly what I
said to her, but I got a funny look, and so I just said, well ok, I'll just
you know, give her the credit card, get out.
Ross: Right, that is a mistake. Just because you get a funny look,
it doesn't mean that you can't try something else. Look guys, I'm not
just giving you nuclear weapons. I'm giving you neutron bombs,
full time torpedoes, xxxxxx tractor beams, xxxxxx. You know if
one thing doesn't work, you've got plenty tricks in the bag. Just back
up and do something else. Yes, your name?
Audience: Rick
Ross: Yeh
XXXX: That's funny, because I've noticed that they'll get that certain
look but that's right before they start going into trance.
Ross: That's right. Sometimes that look doesn't mean they're disagreeing,
it just means they're about to go into a deep trance. So you can't always
tell what those looks mean. The basic thing I want to give you guys is
a basic attitude that's going to help you. And that basic attitude
is the attitude that everything you do is an experiment. If you go in
there with the attitude of, oh, this is got to work, if it doesn't
work, I'm a pencil dick impenitent fool and all that, forget that, let that go.
The attitude that you want to get is hey, this is an experiment, if
it doesn't work, I've learned something and I can try something else.
Take the pressure off yourself. Take the pressure off yourself, it's
very important. So what we're doing is creating a conversational
framework and if something doesn't work, I step away from it. Let me
give you an example of this. Now let me give you an example of just how
blatant you can be. Last week I was at a taping, my friend Shawn,
who'll be here tomorrow probably, was taping a TV show. And after the
show I was backstage fooling around with one of the producers and I'll
show you how blatant I am. I said to her, I said you know, I said,
first of all, I was hitting on the other producer and she turned out
to have a boyfriend so I switched right over to this one, and it was
a serious boyfriend and I didn't want to bother with the boyfriend
destroyer which we'll get into later and I said I have an intuition
about you, and she said what's that, I said I have an intuition
that you're very visual, you make pictures in your head very well,
I said in fact, you have a talent. You're talent is you can look right
at someome and they think you're listening, but you can be making
movies in your mind of something that you'd rather be doing. And she
said, oh my God, that's right, how did you know that? I said I'll tell
you something else that I know about you. I said you motivate yourself,
stop and think of something that really motivates you, something you
just can't wait to do and I saw this, her pupils dialated. When you
see this, when they don't have to look up to visualize, when they do
this, that means they're really visual. If you start out talking
about feelings with these women, they're not going to get it, because
they're processing pictures, ok. So she went, yeah, you got it, I
said do you have that thing, she said yeah, I said it's a big picture
in front of your face isn't it? She said yeah. I said and notice as you
take the picture and pull it away and make it smaller, doesn't it seem
less motivating? And she went oh my God, yes it does. I said, but
then, there's like a blank spot there that wants to be filled in.
Audience: Laughs
Ross: Now you guys know where I'm going with this. I said so notice
what it's like as an image of you and I laughing over a cup of
coffee, just sneaks itself and locks itself right in there. Doesn't it
make it seem like it's something you want to do and she starts
laughing, she said, my God, I know you just shoved it in there but
it's working anyway. I said absolutely right. I said you know after
we've gone for coffee and you've fallen for me completely I wonder
if you'll be willing to share with me just exactly what it was about
me that caused you to come to that conclusion. because alot of women thinks
it's my sense of humor. I do make you laugh, don't I? And she
laughed, you know which of course is proof that I hold things until they take
place. So of course, it all works, you see. That's how blatant
I am. You can be that blatant. Now, when we went for coffee, I did
one thing that she didn't like. And she said, you know, I don't
really comfortable with that, I said that's right. That's why you
need a much more respectful and gentle approach from me and that's
why I would never do that.
Audience: Laughs
Ross: And when I did it, I thought she might have an objection so I said,
if I were to say to you, and then I said the thing that she didn't like.
And that gives me an out. Remember, when we talked, does everyone,
is everyone familiar with that phrase, if I were to say to you. Remember,
if I were to, our famous weasel phrase. Who is not familiar with that?
It's a weasel phrase, ok. If I were to, we'll get to that. By saying,
if I were to, it allowed me to step back from it, ok. I've done other
stuff, how many people have tried have you ever? Have you ever felt
a sense of incredible connection and all you get is yeah, but they don't
show that doggie dinner bowl look that I talk about. Have you ever
experienced that? Raise your hand. Ok, I've experienced that too.
There's a couple of ways around that one. I did that with a woman, I
said, have you ever felt like you just wanted to be swept off your feet?
She went, no. I said, so I'll try it again. I said well, have you ever
met someone that you outrageously attracted to. She went yeah. Sometimes
just asking for feelings doesn't work. They're so visually, that you have
to start with images. And I'll show you how to do that. So, just
because you've tried something and it doesn't click in right away, hey,
stop a minute. Think of a deer hunter. You're a deer hunter but you
don't have one shot in your rifle, you've got a thousand round
magazine and the deer is tied to a stake.
Audience: Laughs
Ross: I'm using a horrible metaphor. But the point of the matter is
so the first round doesn't go off, you go oh well the deer is going to get
away. No, I want you to visualize a deer looking into the headlights of
an oncoming car. And if you miss on the first pass, pull around back over
the deer and come in. I want you to have that kind of flexibility,
where if it doesn't work, step back, do another one. Ok. Because I'm
telling you there are ways around and I'll tell you something else. With
some of these women, if it doesn't work right away, three weeks later
they call you and say, can I come over. You think I'm bullshitting.
How many people think I'm bullshitting them. I'm not bullshitting,
that's the way it works. That's the way it works, so don't worry about
it. It is getting, how many people have had women laugh as they're doing
things. That is the best sign in the world. They're not laughing it
off, they're laughing it in. I'll say it again. They're not laughing
it off, they're laughing it in. It is the laugh of unconscious
recognition. So that's a good sign. Does that make sense?
Audience: Yes
Ross: Ok, so the basic principle here is look for an opening. At first
you might have to test different approaches to get a strong response.
Once you've got that strong response, go for it. Now, let's talk about
the ability to see the responses that you're getting. Look up here. Look
at me. You can do all the patterns in the world, word for word perfect,
but if you're not watching the response, you're not going to get any
where. Ok. And I'm not talking about tiny responses, you want a strong
response. Here's how you know if you're getting a strong response. You
know, you get the doggie dinner bowl look. Does everyone know what the
doggie dinner bowl look is? Who doesn't know? Raise your hand. The
doggie dinner bowl look is, I tell the story, my dalmations, I use to
have dalmations as a teenager and they had me very well trained. I knew
at 4:00 in the afternoon it was my job to go get the dinner bowl, hold it
up, and the dogs would go. Ok. When you get that doggie, when they're
showing you that doggie dinner bowl look, you know, their face is flushing
and their pulpils have dialated and they're breathing heavy, ok, sometimes
what you hear is they're just start talking enthusiastically. Sometimes
when you use have you ever, have you ever felt the sense of incredible
connection, they start talking about it. Have you had that happen when
you've used have you ever? Anybody?
Audience: Yes
Ross: Let them talk because they will give you information about what
you need to do to seduce them. They will tell you about it. Let them
talk. So what that they don't go into the state immediately, they get
themselves into the state by describing the experience or recalling it.
And they're tell you exactly what you need to do to put them back into
that state so you use the information. You know the old phrase,
you can pay me now, you can pay me later. You can lay me now or you can
lay me later. Because they will either go into the state or they will
give you the information you need to behaviorally get it, get what you
want. Does that make sense?
Audience: Yes
Ross: So, there is no losing in this. It's either winning now or winning
twenty minutes from now or winning a few weeks down the line. Does that
make sense?
Audience: Yes
Ross: And Mark will testify to this and some of my other students who will
be here tomorrow. Jason, one of my top students was going to be here. He
left a message in my service, he said well something wonderful has happened
and he played me a message from this woman saying, I can't wait to come
over and fuck your brains out and have the hottest sex, you're so sexy
God, I hear your voice in my mind all the time. I just want your dick,
blah, blah. So he said, sorry Ross, I can't make it. But I'll be there
Saturday and Sunday, so Jason will come xxx of it specifically
happens. Ok. People are basically hypnosis machines. Let me talk about
this principle. This is very important in any kind of persuasion that you want
to do. Let me tell you what I mean by this. People are use to content.
People are use to hearing reasons why they should do something or information
about the product, you should buy this because it's got a four on the
floor, six hundred millimeter engine, blah, blah, blah. People are use
to content and because of that they resist it. People are not use to
having the direction and the process of their mind directed in control.
They are not use to that. And because they are not use to that, they
don't resist it. So it behooves you to use the skills I'll teach you
to direct the process of someone's mind so that they're ready for any
content that you want to give them. So, if you say something like, you
know, I think you'll find as you listen carefully, and become even
more fascinated, it allows you to go inside and find all the reasons
why, what I'm saying is so important, to the point where you'll just
find yourself riveted on every word. Now let me tell you what I have
to say to you. Ok. If you xxxxx it puts them in, now, they're not
use to resisting that. They're not even use to hearing it, that's why
they don't resist it. Do you understand? That's why you want to
direct the process of someone's thoughts. Do we understand the
difference between process and content?
Audience: Yes
Ross: What is the difference? Can anyone explain it to me. Anyone
care to take a crack at it. I know you're my scholar but let's try
someone experientially. Yes, your name is?
Greg: Greg
Ross: Greg, what's the difference.
Greg: Well content is telling you something, I want you to do this or
whatever
Ross: Rigbt
Greg: And process is before I tell you what I'm going to do, this is
how it's going to infiltrate you.
Ross: Right. You're basically telling their mind how to go into a
trance and how to respond to what you're about to tell them. Ok. People
don't resist this. You would not believe how fucking blatant I have been
lately and it works. I mean to the point where she said you just shoved
your hand in my face and shoved that picture right up in my face. I said
that's right but notice how it makes no difference whatsoever as you go
inside and allow those feelings to intensify as that picture gets bigger
doesn't it and they went yeah. So if you're powerful enough with this
you can be blatant as hell. I like pushing it, I want to see how
blatant I can get and no matter what they throw my way I will duck out
of my way and come right back at them. Bart is a witness to this. Yeah,
this is my friend Bart xxxxxx from Dallas, Texas. They guy who does the
xxxxxxx and the hand writing. That's him right there. Bart, huh, Bart was
talking to a woman on the phone and her friend was where, her friend
Jean, Jeannie is very hard bitten, he put Jeannie on the phone so I was
talking to Jeannie and Bart was listening in on my scanner.
Bart: She said she may be here
Ross: Well, she's not here now. Ok, and Jeannie was really hard bitten
and everytime I'd, you know, I tried a few things and she would step
away from it but then I would come right back at her. So when I asked
about, you know, have you ever met someone and you just felt like
you wanted to be seduced, she said no I believe, that you know, we should
people should be friends first, so all I did was elicit from her what
her values were in a relationship and how she knows someone is a good
friend and then I just started applying those rules in my conversation
with her and before you know it she starts opening up completely. Did
she not soften completely?
Bart: I'd never heard her like that
Ross: Like a lamb to a slaughter. I hate to use these xxxxxx words but
it's just amazing to me, if you run into a brick wall, brick walls
crumple really hard so don't worry about it. You want to develop that
kind of flexibility. You know what, go out and try to get caught. I
want you to have the experience of getting caught and slipping right,
think of yourself as an eel smeared with vasoline, ok, you will be
able to flip and slide out of anything. So don't worry about getting
caught. Every decision, can we get the water Yates.
Yates: Yeah, he's short on staff, as soon as he gets here xxxxx
Ross: Ok, well, every decision is constantly being remade and every
decision is state depended. If you don't like the decision change the
state first. Let me tell you what I mean by this. Let's say a woman
says well you know I'm sorry I just decided I'm not sleeping with anyone
for the next six months, I really need to heal from xxxxx, whatever
bullshit she gives you. Ok, if you try to argue with her when she's
in that frame of mind, what's going to happen? What's going to
happen? You're going to lose. We never want to put strength against
strength. We never want to push against resistance. Ever. Not only
with a female but in any persuasion situation. Because, particularly
with a woman they have the power. They have the ultimate control over
sex and that's a tremendous power. People say I don't respect women.
And I have to tell you tonight that's absolutely true. No, I'm kidding.
I'm kidding. I am kidding. I do respect women, and I more importantly,
I'll tell you why I do respect women. They're more in touch with
things on a value level than men. They do have a deeper understanding
of their own deep structure. It's true. But, more importantly I
respect their power. I respect the power of almost every woman because
they have tremendous power, they control our access to sex. Is that
not a power you would like to have?
Audience: Oh, yeah.
Ross: And one of the things I do, one of the things I do with my
students, you see is, I'm screwing up the power balance guys, the normal
power balance in society is they have access to sex, we have access to
the money. I'm screwing it up. I'm screwing it so they are pursuing
us, that they're the aggressors, they're the ones who wind up wanting
to pay for stuff. Am I lying or am I telling the truth?
Audience: Telling the truth
Ross: I am telling the truth. Let's face it. So, I'm giving you back
a tremendous amount of powers so it's worth the investment to go out and
use this stuff in the real world. So every good decision is constantly being
remade. So if, someone you know, if someone's in the state of being
disagreeable you've got to get them out of that state. Children, by the way,
are instinctive users of this knowledge. Watch a little kid get something
from the parent. What does the kid do? Kid observes the parent. And
the kid watches to see when the parent is going to be in the right mood
and the minute the parent is in the right mood the kid pounces, doesn't
hesitate, goes right into action, gets a commitment. Mommy, will you buy
me this toy? Ok. And mommy says ok, and the kid says you promise,
mommy says yes, so the kid gets a commitment and if mommy doesn't take
action, what does the kid do? Remind mommy of the commitment. Until
mommy gives the kid what the kid wants. Ok. You as a seducer and a
persuader need to look at the state the person is in and if you don't
like the state, change the state. Does that make sense? And I'll give
you some powerful tools to do that. You should be familiar with some
of them already. Time distortion is perhaps the most powerful tool you
can use. All of the tools I teach you are powerful but if I had to name
one of them that is just, just unbelieveable, it is time distortion.
Mark, what's your opinion on the use of time distortion, how powerful
would you say that is?
Mark: It got me one hell of a job
Ross: It got him one hell of a job. Why don't you stand up and tell
that story, how you used time distortion to get yourself a job.
Mark: I was looking for a new job and I'd given resumes out to a few
people and I did have an interview with this guy and one thing I did
notice about him he was xxxxx. I was trying to fit that in there. If
you, my interview, so I didn't get a chance to use that, but I told him
Ross: Look here Mark.
Mark: As you look here at my resume, as you look at my resume I am sure
you can think of all the things you look for in a corporate attorney,
as you think about all the ways those values could be fulfilled, wouldn't
it be great after you've hired the right person and you just look back
on that and think that was the best decision I ever made.
Ross: And so what does he do? He gets the guy to go into his future where
he has already hired him, so you present it as a fait accompli. Time
distortion
is just unbelieveable. I have found however I can sneak that in,
which ever way I can do it, I have alot of different ways to do it, if
I can time distort a woman the fight is over. That's it. It's over.
It may take a while, sometimes it takes a couple of weeks for her to call
me up and go ok, let's go. You know, sometimes it happens right on the
spot. There are varying degrees of suggestibility. Some people are
more suggestible than others, some people have more barriers than
others. Some women are naturally more paranoid, some have just been
hurt, so with some it's going to take a little bit more effort because
there's, either they're not as suggestible or they just have their
barriers up, they have their guard up. Ok. Does that make sense?
Audience: Yeah
Ross: So you have to be aware of that. But time distortion is just
unbelieveable. Look, hang on just a second. If you, I never want
to go through resistance, I either want to go before it or after it.
The best way to get someone to do something is have them hallucinate
a future where they've already given you what you want and they've
experience tremendous pleasure doing so. Because you can't resist
what already happened. If it's already happened, then it's too
late to do anything but relax. Because you're about to get what you
want. What you've been wanting haven't you? What can they do. Yes,
your question?
Audience: Is it necessary to know all their barriers?
Ross: Is it necessary to know all their barriers? No, but what will
happen is you'll see them coming up. If they have a gruff attitude
or you know, they're kinda naturally. You have to make a judgment,
guys, by the way. You have to evaluate. You have to look at the
person who's in front of you, ask yourself what do I want, and is this
person worth the effort that I'll have to put into it. Some people
are alot of work and then just basically not worth it. You know, if
a woman meets the values that I'm looking for, if she's intelligent
and is great company and alot of other things I don't care to go into,
I'll put some more work into it as long as I don't have to spend any
money.
Audience: Laughs
Ross: Well, you don't. Look guys one rule I want to give you is dating
is for women who you are already sleeping with, dating is not the vehicle
that you use to seduce a woman. If you take a woman out and spend money
on her before you're sleeping with her I will personally reach my arm through
the mail and slap you in the face. I'm serious. I cannot think of a
dumber way to impress, you know, I kick, the only thing, check this out.
This works so beautifully I can't believe it. I would kick myself if
I didn't already have a big pain in my right buddock. Take them, meet
them for coffee. The first time you meet a woman, say well look, let's
just go for coffee right now or I'll meet you for coffee. Why do I say
that? No. 1 it's alot safer. If you're a woman living in LA, it's,
or any big city, it's kinda scary, you don't know who you're dealing with.
Particularly, all these things in the news. There's a new axe murder
every night. I mean if I were a woman I would be wearing a kevlar bra and
packing a gun. Ah, ok, I am wearing kevlar right now, I'm, but I'm
serious, so it's one thing to say give me your phone number, I'll come
pick you up, it's another thing to say look, you know, I think as you
find yourself really wanting to spend some time with me, it'll seem
much more agreeable if we just meet for a cup of coffee. Would you be
willing to do that? Just, wouldn't you say that makes you feel alot
safer if a guy says let's meet. Because then you can just, if you don't
like him, you drive away. If you really want him, then you can drive
away with him. See my point? Do you see this point?
Audience: Yes
Ross: So, meet him for coffee or take him for coffee. I prefer meeting
him for coffee. That way they don't have to see what shitty car I'm
driving.
Audience: Laughs
Ross: You spend no money and why do you want them over coffee? I'm to
the point where I can do this over food. But the problem of doing it over
food is, if they like their food and they're shoving pasta xxxxx of xxxxx
and shrimp in their mouth and you go have you ever just felt like you
wanted to be seduced, xxxxxx and if they like to eat, forget it man. You
don't want any xxxxxx, a waiter could interrupt you, you know. I
remember, I was right at the point and she was about to, you know,
spasm at the table, the waiter goes well how are we doing tonight,
can I.
Audience: Laughs
Ross: All that work down the tube. Meet them for coffee. If they insist
on you spending money, that's fine. I'm exaggerating a little bit, if you
want to spend money because you enjoy doing that, take me to dinner.
Audience: Laughs
Ross: I gotta tell you this story, an example of, getting back on this
point about not worrying about getting caught. This producer, I had
coffee, I had a lunch date with her day before yesterday and I want to
tell you something. I've met some smart women in my time but this
woman was really smart. She was, I had to tap dance to stay ahead
of her, and even then I could just stay one step ahead of her. And she's
quite a manipulator too. She was telling me that her big challenge,
and I'll show you this pattern later tonight, where her job is she has
to manipulate people who are guests on the talk show to say things that
they really don't want to say. And she said you know I can do it but
I feel really bad about it. She said, and I'll even look at a person,
she says and I'll size them up, I'll think to myself what would work
with this person. And if it doesn't work, I'll move on to something
else. She said I'm just like you. She said I know that you thought
of what approach you'd use with me today and you probably wouldn't use
an approach on me that you wouldn't use on somebody that's less
intelligent. I said that's right. And doesn't it feel great
to know that someome was willing to go to all that work just for
you. What a wonderful guy.
Audience: Laughs
Ross: And everything that she threw at me, I just took a step back
and used it as evidence in my favor. Here's another example. At
one point I asked her, you know, have you ever met somebody that you
just were overwhelmingly attracted. And she said yeah, and I had
her point to where she sees that picture. Can we do that, not while
I'm lecturing please, put it in the back of the room and they can
go to the back of the room and get it. Ok. So I had her point to
the picture, ok, where do you see that? I said so you know, notice
what it's like, it's for whatever mysterious reason a picture of me
just sneaks itself, powers itself right there, doesn't that feel
great? And she went yeah, but I don't know if I'm feeling this
because I really feel it or you put the picture there. So how many
at this point would give up and go ut oh or shut down? Do you think
I gave up? Here's what I said to her. I said well that's right
but you see it really doesn't matter why you're feeling this, all
that matters is you're feeling the way you really like to feel that
don't you? And she said yeah. But I knew she still had the trust
issue so I said, ok, let me show you something. I said take your hand
and just shove the picture down. Make it go away. She said ok. I
said now if the picture comes back on it's own you know you really feel
that way. So I left the picture down there. What did I do? Five
minutes later, I said now look, let's consider this. I shoved it
right back up there. Did she know I did that? No, because I just
dropped it but five minutes later I shoved the picture back up there.
So she was looking at it again and feeling the same way.
Audience: Just your hand and not a comment about it, just a visual
sign or were you saying something
Ross: I showed her where to put the picture to make it go away and the
picture was still there. It was over here. So later I'll just go
look, let consider something. I took the picture and shoved it back
up there.
Audience: So it was just a visual sign
Ross: Yeah, yeah.
Audience: Ok
Ross: Back the picture went
Audience: What were you talking about to justify your arm movement?
Ross: Oh really I talk with my arms. Now, how whimpy can you get?
Audience: Laughs. I need to justify the fact that I'm going to
raise my hand,
Ross: Come on, and we will talk about jestures. You need to learn
your jestures. You know I talk about pointing to yourself to anchor
things, guys, it's a subtle gesture, it is not air strike you know.
Have you ever met someone (audience laughs) you know, who you've been
totally, not doing the freaking limbo, keep your gestures. We're
going to work on this but keep your gestures near your body. Don't
put them too, any further outside of your body than this. When you're
pointing to yourself. I am not talking about these, but when you
referring to yourself, keep it like this, I'll go, did you ever meet
somebody that you've just felt like you wanted to be seduced. That's
fine. That's ok. When you're going to do the blow job pattern, it's
not, I think those thoughts are blow me, slide your hand down, you
go, I think those thoughts are blow me. xxxx do you get it?
Audience: Laughs
Ross: It's subtle. It's subtle. Ok. By the way we are going to
do a video called how to get your girlfriend, wife or date to blow you.
We're going to sell it for $19.95 and build a tremendous name with
us. We'll sell millions of those. I did warn you about the language,
didn't I. She's cool. Ok. Ok, next item. Listen to me. However,
you can do it, and whatever way you can do it, create states of
powerful emotional connection before moving on to sexual arousal.
Can anyone tell me why we do that?
Audience: It's very simple to seduce if they're involved with you.
And like you xxxx
Ross: Right. He said if they already like you and feel involved
with you, then whatever you want to get from them is much easier.
Ok, so create those states first, unless you don't give a flick about
the girl, you can tell she's highly sexual or you've already have
established that kind of connection. If you've been friends with
a woman for a long time and she already feels some kind of link
with you, the only thing that's missing is some kind of attraction.
Go ahead and do a sexual arousal pattern. Ok, but for the most
part you want to wait to do those in the right sequence. I was
having an argument with some idiot on the Internet who said well
your stuff just works it's xxxxx effect. Guys just feel more
confident so it works. I said no, no. I said first of all
they can have no confidence at all and try the patterns, if they
do it right, it's going to work. And secondarily, they can have all
the confidence in the world, but if they don't do it in the right
order and sequence it just doesn't work at all. So that's not the
case. You have to do it in the right sequence. Challenge is where
the fun is. If it isn't easy, then at least make it fun. I enjoyed my
little lunch date with this producer because she was a challenge. She
kept me tap dancing. I had to continuously stay on my toes to stay
a step ahead of her. But you know what's funny, at the end of the
lunch date, she said, I feel like you know everything about me and
I know nothing about you. I said and isn't it great when you feel
that sense of entry growing to the point where you know you have to
see that person again. And you find yourself just obsessing on that need
to spend time with them. And she laughed and she said you're doing
it again. I said that's right and it sure is working isn't it?
And she went
Audience: Laughs
Ross: So, look don't worry about getting caught, just forget all that.
Just let that go. Because you'll be able to play your way through this.
I hope I'm inspecting you with my spirit. Because
Audience: Yes
Ross: Because you want to carry this out
Audience: xxxxx
Ross: Oh, well, there you go. You see, challenge is where the fun is.
If it's not easy, life is not meant to be easy, but life was meant to be
fun. If you're not going to have fun in the process, then what's the
point. And also this is a very sexy attitude. A guy who is not put
off and but is also not hungry, and is having fun in the process of
courtship, a woman is attracted to that. A man who'll playfully
court her without being pushy, a man who is persistent, but at the same
time is not pushy or needy but is playful about it. Is that the
attitude, ok. Eventually you're going to come around and see what
a great deal it is and in the mean time I'll play and have fun with
you. That's very sexy. You know, I'm telling you something, you can
look like a freaking pig and many of my students do and still it doesn't
make any difference because it's a very rare attitude. It's a very
rare approach. You become one man in a million. When you add on to
that, being able to control her emotional states, being able to fulfil
her highest values unlike any man in the world has ever done and there
is nothing that this. They will do anything for you, you have a natural
monopoly, because no one, look unlike what the jackasses on the Internet
say, I'm not teaching men to be abusive. I'm teaching men to control
through pleasure where the woman wants to please you becuase you are
pleasing her so much it's like her deepest fantasies. You know when
she was a little girl all curled up in warmth dreaming of that ideal
man and she just starts to feel like you met that person, to the point
where, wow, you'll give him anything. Mark, would you agree that when
you put, I mean, would you girlfriend do anything for you?
Mark: Pretty much
Ross: Pretty much. Here's the Jones brothers. I know, I know you're
not, I know you're not, come on in. Come on in, you're not worthy.
Now which is Mark and which is Shawn? It's been a while. You're
Mark.
Mark: Yep
Ross: Shawn
Shawn: Yeah
Ross: Come on,
XXXXXX: It sounds sexier.
Ross: No, sit down boys. Do you have room there or do you. Alright.
Which ever way. They came all the way out from, twin chiropractors,
by the way I need to get work done. I think I have a, what's that
nerve. What's the nerve back here?
XXXXX: xxxx nerve
Ross: xxxx nerve, yeah, I think I have a problem there. So. My father
is in DC, retired. Ok, use and combine patterns together. Don't just use
one. Flow hitting. Look, I had someone to call me and say hey Ross,
I used an embedded command. Oh, great.
Audience: Laughs
Ross: That's like saying, we went to bed, I gave her a good stroke. Look,
I will show you how to set up a conversational framework where you can keep
throwing these patterns out, ok. You don't want to do one pattern and
find yourself drawing a blank. You want to be able to move from pattern
to pattern to pattern. Mark, come here, stand up. Mark is trained in
some martial arts but he also saw some videos with my friend, Dr. Jackel
xxxxxx. Dr. xxxxxx is trained in NLP and xxxxxx teaches something called
flow hitting. The idea is there are some dumb styles in martial arts.
Like show de con. Does anyone do show de con. What's wrong with
show de con. It's you've locked your punch out. All this stuff.
When you lock your punch out, (1) you get your arm broken but (2) you
can't do anything else with it once you thrown it. You have to pull it
back, xxxxxx teaches flow hitting and I teach flow hitting in terms
of these patterns where one can blend right into the next one. Mark
show some flow hitting. Do not hit me or I'll not be able to do the
seminar.
Mark: Flow hit. Like in some xxxxx karate, teach you to, you know,
hit like this and all this.
Ross: See he just threw like six punches in less than a second.
Mark: That's a flow hit
Ross: It's flowing. Go ahead and have a seat. Thank you.
Mark: Now you're going to drop over dead.
Ross: Ok, so what I want to teach you guys is I want to teach you the
ability to flow with these patterns, to move from one to the next. Ok,
so when you see that opening, when you see that response, you start
exploiting it. Ok, my mind set is when I start this, I'm looking for
a strong response, I'm looking for that opening. And as soon as I see
it, boom, I'm on it. Boom, boom, boom, no mercy. Bam, Bam, Bam,
finish the fight. Remember Muhammad Ali, anyone have the privilege
of watching Muhammad when he was in his prime, when he was young. I
remember watching one fight. I was a kid and the guys were all ready
for Muhammad Ali comes in there, what you see is a look of
astonishment on the opponent's face. The guy is thinking I don't know
how to fight this guy. I tried everything, nothing is working and
Ali when he was young, would tease him for a couple of rounds, you
know, and you can see the look when they were about to go down, the look
was not fear it was astonishment. It was like. So, you are going to
be able to flow like that. And when you see the opening, you don't wait.
The minute you see the opening, finish it, bam. I not talking about
violence, please. I'm using the aggressive metaphor because I want,
I think too many of you guys used to before be passive before you walked
into this room. I want to put the spirit into of going for it. Ok, we
are not talking about force, we are not talking about violence, or any of
that and in this politically correct bullshit era I have to, it's a
shame I have to even mention it explicitly like this but again, I'm
talking about having a vital and forceful spirit. Does this make sense?
Audience: Yeh
Ross: Ok, we'll talk about the skills. Turn to page 2 of your notes. Does
everyone have notes? Let's talk about the skills you need to make this
work. The first skill you need, look up here, is the ability to
observe and to see what response you are getting. Shall I repeat that?
The ability to observe and see what response that you're getting. In
order to do that, you have to be doing what, you have to be and, louder
I can't hear you, and to do that you can't be in your head worrying is
this working, oh, oh, does she like me, what if I blow it, you have to
turn all that crap off, xxxx I'll show you how to do this later. Flip
that switch to off, pull the plug on that. You have to be totally
focused on what response you're getting. You can't have, get out of
your own way. Step out of your own way and turn all that crap off and
just focus in on the response you're getting. Now, how many here,
God help me, how many here have ever taken an NLP training with anyone
besides me? How many, alot, who did you train with?
Audience: Carol xxxxx
Ross: Who? Carol xxxxx I don't know her but
Audience: Tony Robbins
Ross: Tony Robbins, anyone else. Huh, Cheatwood, I'd change that
name. Cheatwood. It's like a name in the W.C. Fields movie, the name
is Swindel, Horace xxxxx Swindel. Come on in and have a seat. Ok,
so, in alot of NLP trainings, they're train you and what they call
xxxxx xxxxxx what I call bullshit. xxxxxx xxxxx they teach you to
look for the slighest change in skin color or like a twitch in the upper left
xxxxx of the lower right eye lid. Did Tony show you any of this?
Did you learn any of that from Cheatwood? Did Cheatwood show you any
of that? What crap. Let me tell you something.
Audience: Laughs
Ross: If the only response you're getting, if the response you're
getting is so meager that you need a magnifying glass to see it, then
you'd better learn how to
Ross: xxxx to teach you a one day class for the learning annex on
Saturdays, I quit. The class Jackie was in was the last one I did.
But someone said to me when you first came in here I thought you were
arrogant. I said, well I am but you know, what can I say, you know
I'm the best.
Audience: Why did you quit?
Ross: Because the learning annex I say this publicly is a bunch of dip
shit assholes who couldn't think their way out of a wet paper sack.
Audience: xxxxx
Ross: Thank you for sharing Yates. Ok. Skill No. 2. and we talked
about this. The flexibility to change to something else if you aren't
getting the response you want. If you try, have you ever, let's take
that one. Have you ever felt the sense of incredible connection, yet
and then you get no. Instead of giving up you can go well have you
ever felt really attracted to someone. Keep going until you get that
response. Do you understand. Keep going until you get the response
because eventually you will. Or step back and shift to something else.
Does this make sense? I know, stop a minute, close your eyes. Everyone
has some, when I say close your eyes, I want the lids down. Anyone who's
lids do not close will find their sexual future shrinking away,
rapidly, rapidly. Some of us don't have long to wait. I want you to
think of some situation where you have alot of flexibility where
something gets thrown in your path, you shift around and you keep
going. I don't care what context it is. And as you think of that
thing I want you to raise your hand in the air, raise your hand in
the air, do it and make a fist, raise your arm all the way up in the
air, make a fist and as you bring that hand down I want you to increase
that feeling of utter flexibility and ferociousness that you go for
what you want and keep going. And do it again. Think of that thing
again, raise your hand in the air and as you do that, think to yourself,
yes, don't say it but think to yourself. And remember that feeling
of being flexible and you go to the next thing. Ok, one more time.
And this time in your mind's eye, I want you to see some woman that
you would really like to seduce and see her not responding the way
you'd like to. As you put your hand down, notice how you can increase
that feeling, hey, I'm going to try something else and keep going.
Nothing is going to stop me. Do you get that? Alright. Open your
eyes and look at me. By the way, one administrative point, Kendrick
Cleveland will not be here. Don't worry about it, we have enough
to teach where we don't have room for him. So don't worry about that.
Allow yourself to forget it. No, that's good. Ability No 3. Is the
ability to be patient and learn from trial and error. I know you all admire
me as the great xxxxx and you're not worthy and all that other shit but
guess what. I make mistakes with this. But I don't want to think of
making mistakes, I have learning. I occasionally do things, guess
what, they don't work the way I've planned. Guess what? I get
excited. Kent and Mark here had lunch with me and the first thing
I asked them was what have you done that doesn't work? Tell me about
what you've done where it didn't work. Did I not say that? Because
that's where I get excited. That tells me I'm about to step into a
new level of power. If something isn't working, congratulate yourself
because you're about to find out what does work. You're about to
learn something new. Without that mind set, you will be at best
mediocre with this material. With this mind set no matter what
blocks you may start out with, you will leave them behind quickly and
go wherever you want to with the material. May I have a glass please.
Audience: I was just getting it for you
Ross: You're a God. Does this make sense?
Audience: Yes
Ross: I honestly, you know, if nothing else, there are so many
different advantages, you can have with this material. But if nothing
else, if all you do is really begin to live the attitude that there are
no failures, there's only learnings, you will be ahead 99% of the
people in society. Because we live in a society of fighting sheep.
We live in a society where people are made to be fearful, so big
brother, can easily control them. I want to break you of that. The
most revolutionary that you can do in any society is build proud,
independent, fearless people who are in control of their own lives.
This scares the shit out of the godfathers in Washington, Moscow, and
anywhere else. Who knows, maybe one day I may be teaching you from jail.
I don't know.
Audience: Laughs
Ross: Free Ross, he freed our, your name again. Walk over here so the
microphone can pick you up. Yes sir.
Audience: Have you ever had
Ross: Oh yes, I have
Audience: xxxx what you're doing or any of your methods are not
working the woman is either getting bored annoyed or irritated at
seemingly stupid things
Ross: Well I never allow it to go that far. The minute I see them
giving a negative response I back up and I do something else.
Audience: But if you keep going a year ahead where she just doesn't
respond to that behavior
Ross: Well, nothing responds. You know what, I had that once. One
time when I was quite as skilled, looking back on it now, I would have
been able to get past it. So I don't think, with what I'm going to show
you over the next few days, I can't conceive of a situation unless
she's brain dead. Literally, in a coma. You know. Huh, I will say
this, the more intelligent the woman is the better it works. Time and
again I find, the dumber they are the harder it is to get it to work.
I cannot work too well with dummies. With dummies I just move the
pictures around. I'm serious. I don't like dummies. I can attract
to anyone I want so why bother with a stupid woman. I won't do it.
I would encourage you all to take on the challenge of finding the most
intelligent woman you can find. Smarter is always better. And even
if they have a hard edge to them, when you break through that, they
surrender completely. They're all looking for someone to surrender
to but the challenge is they need to know that that man is worthy
of being surrendered to. And that's a terrible hard challenge. Because
most men just aren't worthy. They truly aren't. You will be worthy
because you will know how to match every value she holds dear with
precision and no guess work. Ok. And I must warn you, anyone who
is under your influence is also under your protection. And the same
way that you are under my protection because you are under my influence,
and the more you think you're not, the more much deeper and much more
suggestible part is even becoming more influenced now.
Audience: How does that work, surrounder by my protection, what does
that mean?
Ross: Huh, that means if someone is under your influence you have
an obligation not to abuse your power. Ok. What I have found is
people say won't your students go out and screw over every woman
they meet. I'll go, oh yeah, at first, sure. But no what happens is
the powerful you become, you'll find the more gentier you'll become.
Now one of my students, Alex, didn't believe me and went out and
used this in an abusive way and he got his ass kicked. She
harrassed the hell out of him, she'd called him up at 3:00 in
the morning and go, I'm going to come over and cut your cock off
if I catch you with another woman, I'll cut your cock off. She
sued him for all sorts of things and it was an horrible experience.
You don't need to do that. You will get so much power through
pleasure that you don't need to be a putt. You really don't. Up
until I came along, usually it was only the assholes that had that
kind of power. Ok, you can be a good guy and a good hearted guy
and still be very successful if you use my material. Does that make
sense?
Audience: Yeah
Ross: Why is that true? Because you're creating pleasure states and
also touching them at the deepest level of their identity and their values.
Does that make sense?
Audience: Yes
Ross: I'll talk a little bit about the slater. Now, sometimes you'll
run into the situation where you create emotional states and stuff
with a woman who is not appropriate for you to be with. Because they're
so screwed up you're better off without them. But I will show you how
to quickly elicit their model of the world to find out if they're
screwed up or not. And then you make the decision if you want to
take on this person. One of my students who is not here, where is
Kent.
Audience: He's at work, he should be by 10:30.
Ross: Kent had the experience of getting a bikini model in bed, like
the first time she tried this stuff, and she turned out to be a total
freak and she came at him with a knife. So, you know, some stones
are best left unturned. And if you can't be grateful for what you
received, be grateful for what you managed to avoid. xxxxxx Does that
make sense?
Audience: Yeah
Ross: Now you've already learned enough in the past hour to justify
your investments, so go home.
Audience: Laughs
Ross: Ability No. 4. Ability to move from one pattern to the next.
We've already talked about this and I will go over some transitional
phrases that will allow you to move from any pattern to any other
pattern. Even if, it makes it logically seem, it's nothing more fun
to me than making it seem like my ideas are logically connected when
there's no logical connection at all. I'm just connecting them so
I can ram patterns in. Ok. And there's certain phrases, now here's another
thing. Or here's something else that is interesting. It doesn't have
to be any logical connection to be any ideas at all, And Mike goes ok.
That's sound like it should follow, but it doesn't. It's very hard
not to be insufferable pleased with myself.
Audience: Laughs
Ross: By the way, huh, speaking of insufferable, I need to introduce
my partner and friend and surrogate daddy, Dr. Yates Canipe. Please
give him a big xxxx
Audience: Claps
Ross: I'm very fortunate to have found Yates as a partner and also
as a friend, because he's into this. He's experimental, he believes
in it and he'll pick up the ball and run with it. So I'm grateful
and he does keep me running. He's my facilitator, stay away from
her Bruce, she's my guest. Leave her alone.
Bruce: It's not my fault
Yates: One thing about, you don't like the flexibility in here,
the exercises some of the students have done it and has been very
successful, is take your flash cards, shuffle them, pick a subject,
any subject, it can be sex with two women or baseball, start talking
about it and use the top card, whatever it is, then you need to go
to the next one and use that phrase going into your trend of thoughts.
Ross: And I will give you some tools and techniques that I developed
subsequent to my previous seminars so it will enable you to learn these
things much better. I will be teaching how to learn. Ok. Look at
No. 5. What is No. 5? Out loud please.
Audience: xxxxx
Ross: Did you notice I put it in double sized type in bold letters
and everything capitalized. Do you think that means that I think it's
important.
Audience: Hell yeah
Ross: There are two major problems that my students haven't been
getting this. (1) Is their confidence, they just don't believe they
can do it and I know that maybe prior before coming here you use to
believe that and the second problem is tonality. Some of you, your
tonality, up until tonight sucked. It just sucks. I had a guy to
call me up, I get this all the time, ring, ring, hello. Ron, my
name is Johnny and I don't know, sometimes I use this stuff
and it's not working. I'll go, oh yeah, I wonder why. You must
learn to control your tonality and we're going to do some exercises
right now to do that. Will you be able to control your tonality
just from this one exercise?
Audience: Yes, No? No?
Ross: No, no, you need to practice. I'm serious. You need to
practice. This is not about coming in here tonight and tomorrow and
Sunday being passive entertaining and leaving. You've got to make a
commitment to practice these skills. How many people here walk?
How many people here talk? How many people here can stand up?
How many people here are toilet trained? Keep your hand down, Bruce.
Just teasing, ok. Do you think those are all things that you
acquired immediately? Did you pop out of the womb being able to
do it? You had to practice. You must practice these skills on a
consistent basis. I don't know why I have to continue to hammer on
this point before you get it and incorporate it. Alright.
Audience: Right, yeah, yes
Ross: So let's work on controlling tonality, let's put your notes down.
I dont want to see anyone writing or holding notes, anyone with a pen in their
hand will find their gentile is shrinking. And some of you have no
time to waste. Shawn, Shawn is over going, xxxxx no problem. Call
me at 7:00 and then I'll worry. How many of you know what the vowels
are? What are the vowels?
Audience: A,E,I,O,U
Ross: Wrong, here are the vowels. AAAA, EEEE, IIII, OOOO, UUUU. Those
are the vowels. So we're going to do an exercise. Put one hand on
your chest so you can feel the residence of your voice, take a deep
breath, put your head back and say with me. AAAA, EEEE, IIII, OOOO,
UUUU. Welcome to the five hour orgasm. Ok. When you speak to a
woman, you should be speaking such that your voice resinates. When
you practice these patterns out loud, and you must practice every
pattern,
Audience: Out loud
Ross: Not in your head. Out loud, because you're speaking these
out loud. She not telepathic, she not picking up through telepathy.
Stop it. Ok. (Ross laughs) Notice that barrier that every time
you try it, it's like a lazer beam right in your balls. Lock that
in, that's right. So, just ignore him, he'll go away. Slowly, into
another state. So, we must learn to control our tonality. Ok, let's
try another exercise. Let's exercise No. 1. Let's pick a neutral
word like water, yes Yates, you have a comment. Let me walk up so the
microphone can pick it up. Yes sir.
Yates: Administrative one.
Ross: What's your administrative point?
Yates: Are we going to do pizzas tonight?
Ross: Ask me in 45 minutes. Ask me in half an hour.
Yates: It's going to take about half an hour to get them.
Ross: I understand. I can do the math, you know. Yes question.
Audience: I hope they have some xxxxxx pizza
Ross: Later, later
Audience: Laughs
Ross: We're going to do that later. I don't want to hear this now.
We'll take a break and decide. Ok. Your tummies will be cared for.
Don't worry about it. Ok. Let's pick a neutral word like watermelon.
Ok. Let's all just say watermelon.
Audience: Watermelon
Ross: Try it one more time
Audience: Watermelon
Ross: Ok, now. I want you to remember a time when you were angry,
really pissed off and say watermelon as if you were expressing that
angry feeling. Ready?
Audience: Watermelon
Ross: Again
Audience: Watermelon
Ross: Alright, can you remember a time when you were curious? I want
you to say watermelon with a tonality of curiousity. Ready?
Audience: Watermelon
Ross: Watermelon, and now seductive and sexy. Say watermelon. Let's
start with this row, ok guys. Let's hear you do your watermelon
seductive and sexy, are you ready?
Audience: Watermelon
Audience: Laughs
Ross: Do you see what I mean? Look, ok, let's hear you say the words,
seduce me, let's hear you say seduce me.
Audience: Seduce me
Ross: Louder, put your hand on your chest, get the resident, no
these guys only, put your head back, take a deep breath and go,
seduce me, make it resinate. Say it out loud.
Audience: Seduce me
Ross: Better, a little louder you do. This is not observant. Do it.
Seduce me, better, ok, now do watermelon.
Audience: Watermelon
Ross: Suck it in like this and go watermelon.
Audience: Watermelon
Ross: He's got it. Nicky, some on in and have a seat. Ok, do you guys
want to try it? Let's hear it. Let's hear the sexiest watermelon in the
world.
Are we ready?
Ross and Audience: Watermelon
Ross: That's good. He's got it, go ahead, one more time.
Audience: Watermelon
Ross: Very good. Ok, all together, ready. 1, 2, 3,
Audience and Ross: Watermelon
Ross: If you guys need extra help on doing this you have my
permission to call two 900 numbers. I'm serious. Take them and
listen to how these women speak. Ok, if necessary, call a gay
900 number.
Audience: Laughs
Ross: I'm serious, I'm serious and listen to how they speak. Do
you have notes Vickie? Does Vickie have notes? Ok. Will you get
notes for her, Is she going to look on with Jackie. Ok. Alright,
Did we get it guys, you need to do these exercises at home. You need to
do them in the car driving. You need to do them when you're in the shower
and taking a shit, you need to do them all the time. If you say look, stop
a minute, look up here, if you say, have you ever felt a sense of incredible
connection. Do you think you are going to get a result?
Audience: No
Ross: No, with the wrong one. Have you ever felt a, here's a good
way to make sure you say it right, get the feeling for yourself right
here. And then as you're speaking to the woman, the feeling that
you want her to feel will guide your tonality. Do you get that?
So imagine the feeling that you want to feel right here and then
allow that feeling to guide your voice. So as the warmth of that
voice just wraps itself around you like a pair of legs around your
neck, you'll know, really know, on the inside, just exactly what's
happening, you know. You must learn to control your tonality. I
can't emphasize this enough. It is the single biggest stumbling
block. Some other ways to learn to control your tonality. Get a
dictionary. Pick out words at random and experiment saying those
words with the right tonality. Pick out loaded words like troop,
love, seduction, connection. Write these words down. Troop, love,
seduction, connection, desire, lust, absolutely fascinated. Ok.
And work on saying these in the right tonality. I just cannot
emphasize this enough. Trying to learn this without getting master
of your tonalities is like trying to drive your car without gasoline.
It's just not going to work. Have I made the point enough?
Audience: Yes
Ross: Are we all going to make a commitment? Yes.
Audience: Do you recommend using a tape recorder
Ross: Use a tape recorder or just do it out loud. As long as you
do it, I don't care if you use a tape recorder, if you hire a parrot,
or a midget, I don't care. Just do it. You can use midgets. A
midget got thrown out of a nudist colony for sticking his nose in
everyone's business.
Audience: Laughs
Ross: Yes, it's my seminar. Get out if you don't like it. Yes.
Audience: Do you think it would be a good idea, to as you're
practicing to think of a way that women use tonality on us.
Ross: Yes. His comment was let's think about the way women use
tonality on us. You should see my little roommate, Kim. Oh man,
does she know how to flirt. If someone calls to talk to me, I go,
oh, Kim, talk to Lou, she'll go, hi, Lou. If you were to
diagram it it would be Donna. Women use tonality all the time.
Here's when a woman is lying to you. You call her up and you ask
her for the date and she goes, here's the tonality, umm xxxxxx
she's lying. Ok. Women use tonality on us all the time. That's
a very good point. Constantly. If you listen to the tonality,
you know what I did, someone the other day, talking to my friend
Kim No. 1, I know seven Kims,
Audience: Laughs
Ross: And I was not being very sympathetic with her and she was
pissed off and I said at least I'm listening to you even though I
don't agree and you know we still love each other even though we
totally disagree. She said well, that's big of you. I said well
I think it's absolutely horrible that you think that. So her
tonality didn't match her words so I just reversed it. I said
something mean in a very nice tonality and totally scrambled her
brain. So, they're always using tonality on us so it's only fair
that we turn around and use it on them. Yes.
Audience: What's tonality for truth
Ross: Truth. Oh, for them when they're not lying.
Audience: Yeah
Ross: Call them up and ask them for the date and they're go, you
say, well can you make it Saturday, they're go xxxxxx yeah, yes.
Audience: Yeah but what if it's a no but it's the truth
Ross: What about it?
Audience: Is it going to sound, what's the tonality
Ross: You'll hear it. Well, we have women in the room, for Christ's
sake, let's ask them. Ladies, if some guy asked you out, let's say it
a guy that you feel utterly attracted, you know that you want to be
with this person, now let's say, I'm sorry these girls have become
who I am, I can't turn them off, I can only turn them on, big time.
No, seriously, let's say some guy asked you out, I know it's happened
before, and you really do want to go out with him, ok, but you can't
make it on the night that he asked you out. What do you tell him?
Audience: Well, in my tonality, gee, I'd like to go out with you
Larry, but you know, I can't make it that particular night, how about
a raincheck.
Ross: Yeah, they're give you a counter offer versus well my car keeps
going through a xxxxx crisis and I need to
Audience (Female): Why don't you just tell me about by asking me
pretend you're a real nerd and somebody that I don't want to go out
with.
Ross: Ok, gosh, Nicky, my name is Joseph and I saw you at that party
giving someone else your phone number so I looked over your shoulder
and wrote it down. But mother said, mother and therapist,
both said that I need to get out more and try to taper off the medication
so I was wondering, I have tickets to the munster truck rally in
xxxxx and if I can find it, and I have some bus passes to take us
there, I understand the bus sometimes has air conditioning, would you
be ever so flattering and kind as to attend with me. Please, yes.
Audience (Female): Well, Steve, I'm flattered by your offer but
you know what, you said that's going to be next Tuesday and actually
I'm completely booked for about the next month. I'm really sorry.
I won't have time until after February, way after February, almost
into March.
Ross: Oh, well perhaps then you would consider the possibility of calling
me at a future date.
Audience (Female): Perhaps, perhaps.
Ross: There you go. So, now you don't need a voice stress analyzer
to tell what's going on there. Ok.
Audience: So when they throw you off for a month
Ross: Forget it. If you're doing this stuff, they will not throw
you off. They'll go, when can I come over. I'm not kidding. They
call you up and say I had to hear your voice. For some reason I hear
your voice on the inside of my mind. It's like it's driving me nuts,
I have to come over. It's disgusting. Am I lying?
Audience: You're not lying.
Ross: I'm not lying. It's horrible. It's just absolutely horrible.
You've got to learn to live with it guys. Now there is an exception.
Sometimes you will hear that, and it's, they're going through a
terrible time, they just broke up with someone and emotionally they're
just not ready to handle anyone. Back off for a month or so and they
will either call you and go why haven't you called me or when you do
call a month or so later you know, xxxxx if you're feeling a little
less than anti social, I'd still like to see you. Try it and don't
be serious about it. By the way, with everything that you do, listen
soften it and use hunor, you're not a prosecuting attorney. Now,
Mr. Simpson. What's important to you in a relationship? Someone with
hard to identify blood.
Audience: Laughs
Ross: I'm serious, No, I'm just kidding. O.J. is innocent until
they fry him. Just kidding.
Audience (Female): xxxx
Ross: Well, yeah, yeah, right. Now there's an example stop. There
is an example of a man who had exquisite control over his tonality,
and the way he presented himself. O.J. for years has embedded himself
in the psyche of America. He talks in that wonderful voice, so it's
like bathing in melted butter, you know, he's got that big smile.
He radiates infinity. He radiates infinity, not so much but for what
he says, but how he says it in tonality and his facial expressions,
to the point where people cannot believe this man is guilty as hell.
You can make a video tape of O.J., whether he's guilty or not isn't
the issue. He is. You can make a video tape of this man slicing
Nicole's throat in slow motion, in front of 50 different cameras and
some people will not be able to bring themselves to believe it. Nothing
to do with a racial issue, it's got to do with the face that this man
is, was at least, an exquisite master that convened a certain emotional
feeling to the use of his facial expressions and his voice. It may
get him off. Does that make sense?
Audience: That's why they want to put him on the stand.
Ross: That's exactly why they want to put him on the stand. Alright,
does that make sense?
Audience: Yes
Ross: Another way to exercise your tonality, look at No. 5. Pick
any pattern from the workbook, say it out loud in a neutral tone as
you read it, then do it in the proper tonality and you are
Audience: Richard
Ross: Richard
Richard: Richard xxx
Ross: Ok, then do it in the proper tonality. Does that make sense?
You can do this at home. Ok, let us take a five minute break. Five
minutes. So being that it's now 6:20, I want you back in your seat at
6:25. Ok, alright, back in action. Let's go to, I want to talk now
about building your own ideal state and self image. A good judgment
intuition. How many here have the unstoppable confidence tapes?
How many people have never received them or don't have them for some
reason. You should consider buying them if you haven't already got
them as part of the package. They're very important. But what we're
going to do now is a little exercise in building your ideal self image.
So here's what we're going to do. By the way, this is a pretty good
introduction to the science of submodalities. How many people know
what submodalities are? The basic idea behind submodalities, is that people
have locations, hey, how are you doing, people have locations for
their internal mental imagery. That when people make images on the
inside of their mind, subjectively speaking, those images are located
in different places. Do we understand this?
Audience: Yes
Ross: I need to hear yes or no.
Audience: Yes
Ross: Who does not understand what I'm talking about, raise your
hand. Ok.
Audience: In other words, xxxx a word or
Ross: No, let me give you an example. I'll give you an example.
Come here, come on up here. Come up. What's your name?
Audience: Rod
Ross: Rod
Audience: Roddie
Ross: Have a seat here. Let me show you what I mean. Sit down. What's
going on with the air conditioning? Ok. You want to turn it up. It's
not on. Turn the temperature up. We want it colder. There's a
thermostat right here. See if you can manipulate that. Alright, Rod,
there we go. Can you stop and think about someone who you really, really
like. Is there someone that you really like alot?
Rod: Yes I can
Ross: As you think about that person and you see their image in your mind
don't you?
Rod: Yes
Ross: Imagine your mind is a movie screen. And if you were to take
your finger and point to where on the movie screen you see their image
where might you point right now. Right there. Very nice. Now can you
think of someone who you can't stand at all? I mean, if you saw a car
coming at this person, you might go xxxx but you wouldn't be in too big
of a hurry to get them out of the way. Where you see the picture
where? And where is the picture of the person that you really like.
Now take this picture of the person who you don't like much and try to
move it over here and see what happens. Looks like it doesn't want to
stay there, does it?
Rod: It's heavy
Ross: It's heavy. Did you hear that?
Audience: Laughs
Ross: Now that's what I mean about, stop, that's what I need is a good
subject. That's what I mean about submodalities. By the way, notice
how the more you listen to me the more my picture goes right here. And
the bigger and brighter it gets. And you just lock it there. Keep it
there. That's a neat thing. So, that's right, so, and any objection to
anything that I might say, any objection you might have to anything I
might suggest just xxxxx it stays there. Wow! So as you walk back to
your seat and become more suggestible with every step, what I'd like
to say is that there you go and don't sink all the way into trance
yet as you sit down. Here's my point. My point is submodalities,
the No. 1 submodality is location, where people put their pictures.
There's alot of other ones but for our purpose the one that we are going
to be using is location. What are the three most important things
in any piece of real estate?
Audience: xxxxx
Ross: Same as submodalities. Where do you put the pictures. Yes,
question.
Audience: Does it matter xxxxxx
Ross: That's got nothing to do with submodalities but it could make
a difference later. No, it doesn't. Yes.
Audience: In many of the experiments that I've gone through with,
I find that alot of the pictures are very spacial. They don't have
a position, I can't put them in a position.
Ross: Then what you do is suggest one. If they don't have one,
suggest it. See notice what it's like if that picture just pops itself
out of your head and locks in right in front of your face. If they
don't have one suggest it. So you can put yourself there. I even have,
I'm such a scum bag, where is my computer, this is my, I love this.
This is my Sanyo will you hold this for a second. This is my Sanyo
xxxxxx computer. I am going to do a little commercial for Sanyo.
Got a full word processing program. So I turn it on and every time
I have a date or I talk to someone on the phone, I keep a record in
my scan log. I have notes in here about where the submodalities
are. For example, let's go to one of these women.
Audience: Laughs
Ross: I'm serious. I'm scrolling here. Hang on a minute. Let me
scroll. You may think those thoughts are above me.
Audience: Laughs
Ross: Sweet Nicky, with me I know, when I do that. Hang on a minute, I'm
paging
down. Ok, here's this woman Catherine, note all the directions are given as I
see them, my left, my right. Blah, Blah, Blah. Ok, good decisions are up
and to
my right, her bad decisions are down to the left, motivation is directly
in front. Let's see, I've got her ideal qualities in a relationship
she vulnerable with future xxxxx she attracted to power in control,
what are her, wait a minute, I have her ideal, hang on, hang, I'll get
it here. Wait a minute, I'm going through here. Ok, here are her
values. Really enjoying the other person, communication, trust, being
able to learn from the other person. Ok, her submodalities of
attraction are up into the right, that's my right, I know where she puts
something she's attracted to and I've got some other suggestions that
I'm going to use the next time. So, I keep track of all this. I keep
track, where they're anchored, I was anchored in the same spot. On the
elbow. So, I don't have to go Debbie, left knee, Sally, right buddock.
Audience: Laughs
Ross: Anchor in the same place, make it simple. So keep track, my point
is, keep track of all this, don't call Catherine or I'll kill you. So
submodalities are very important. Keep track of those things. So here's
the exercise that we're going to do. Close your eyes, this means eyes
close, female victim, I mean demonstration subjects, do this as well,
you'll benefit from it. Close your eyes. What I want you to do is,
I want you to think about something that you use to want to be when you
were a little kid. But then as you grew up you just forgot all about
it. So think of that thing that you use to want to be when you were
a little kid and then maybe you just forgot all about it. If some of
you haven't done that, then think of something you use to do when you
were a kid but you no longer do. You use to wet the bed. But no longer
do. But I prefer you pick something where you use to want to do as a
kid but then you have forgotten about it. Ok, and take a minute to do
that. And this is going to become a very important tool so I want you
to notice as you think about this where in your mental movie screen
you see that picture. And actually take your finger, I want to see
everyone doing this, and take your finger and point to where you seem
to see that picture. And notice that location and draw like a white
square there. But make it red. Make it a red square if you can do that.
If you can see the color red, ok. Now, I want you to think, do you
believe the sun is going to come up tomorrow? Put your hand down, just
remember that location, do you believe that the sun is going to come
up tomorrow, yes or not?
Audience: Yes
Ross: As you are believing that I want you to make a picture of that
in your mind. Your belief that the sun will come up tomorrow. Or
your belief that you will find me wildly attractive, no, you believe
that the sun will come up tomorrow. No it's not a belief, it's a fact.
Ok, your belief that the sun will come up tomorrow. You got it. And
point to where you see that. Point to where you see that and draw
a square around that one but make it green. Make it a green square.
Alright, if you're having trouble with the color, don't worry about it.
Just make it whatever color you want. Alright, now here's what I want
you to do. I want you to see the image of yourself that doesn't believe
that you can do this stuff. I know some of you have doubts, now is the
time to let any doubt you want come into your mind. Your doubts that
you can do this material, you know, you feel that you are going to get
caught, your doubts that I'm not the best teacher in the world, whatever
your doubts are that you are going to get rid of them completely, just
whatever they are, I'm going to get caught, I'm not confident enough,
women don't like me, whatever it is, right, I want you to allow an image
or images that represent those thoughts to pop into your mind. And
very quickly stick those into the red square. Shove those images and
pictures right into the red square and lock it in there. And some of
you may be thinking but I don't want to let the thoughts go. But notice
this, the more you think that the more it pushes them away anyway. So
they have no choice. Now I want you to create a new self image. I want
you to see the you that has the spirit that I've been putting into, the
idea, that hey, challenge is fun. If I don't get it the first time
I'll keep tap dancing around this person until I get it. I want you to
hear me, going go for it fuckweed. In the back of your head.
Audience: Laughs
Ross: Just do it. I'm serious. I want you to hear my voice in the
back of your head saying go for it fuckweed. Don't be a dick, go for it.
I want you to do that in the back of your head. Ok, I want you to see
that image of you that sort of has my ideas in your head, the ideas of
being flexible and ferocious and having fun with it. Ok. Now you
that wants to check push limits and see how blatant you can be, try to
get caught with this. Ok. Notice as that image of yourself goes into
the green square. And fill the green square up with that image. And
notice that the bigger and brighter that green square image gets, the
smaller and darker the red square image gets. To the point where the
red square just disappears completely. And lock in that image. And
now that you see that image of yourself in that green square, here's
what I want you to do as the next step. Keep your eyes closed, I know
you love to look at me dear but keep your eyes closed. Just look at
me on the inside, deep inside your mind. Aren't you. Ok, here's what
I want you to do, look, see that image of you in the green square, I
want you to make it forty feet tall. And what I want you to do, you
make it forty feet tall, is turn it around so you only see it from
behind. So you'll see the back of yourself. And as you allow that to
continue, raise it up above your head, and when I snap my fingers, drop
it down on top of your so you'll look into those forty foot tall eyes.
Are you ready? (Ross snaps his fingers) Do it. And now looking out
through those forty foot tall eyes add in a few snarls. A voice in
your head that says your ass is mine. I want you to imagine there's
a woman in front of you, if you're a female imagine there's whatever
you like, me, I know, ok. And now what I want you to do is just
zoom on the part of that person that you find the most attractive. Just
zoom in on it. I know there are some guys in the back there who are
boot men. But zoom in on it, ok and over her shoulder I want you to
see that forty foot tall you again. In fact, I want you to see an
entire army of forty foot tall yous lined up. Now look at and zoom
on the body part, hear that voice that goes (smarl) you know that
sexy tonality, that ooh ahh. And over her other shoulder I want you to
see you and her getting it on. And now notice how any attempt of
hesitation just flies into that red square and shrinks away and smalls
itself. To the point where you can't even imagine evey trying to be
that way just gets wiped out completely. As if a giant hand were wiping
out that tiny little red square of doubt. My hand, the hand that will
put itself around your balls if you don't go for it. The hand attached
to the body that has the voice that says do it fuckface. Do it now.
Now tonight when you sleep and dream and your mind continues to integrate
these ideas, you're going to hear my voice in your dreams. And you're
going to see these images in your dreams. You might find the wildest
thoughts, ideas, uhm and feelings just pervading all through you because when
you were a child you learn things far more complex than what I'm
teaching. You learned to stand up. Some of you are xxxxx familiar
with the human skelton and muscle system and you know what a feat that
is to stand up and support your own weight. How the joints, xxxxx
and muscles and tendons all interlock to work together. And when you
were a child and you learned to stand up you forgotten all the times
that you didn't stand, you only remember the successes. And in the
same way you can find that same mind set pervading and that's a nice
thing. So open your eyes with that feeling of absolute graditude
for your wonderful teacher and let's move on. Do you understand?
Audience: Yes
Ross: Now stop a minute and try to doubt, try in vain to doubt
your ability to master these skills and use them. Tell me what happens.
What happens when you try and doubt. It's unnatural, that's right.
That's right. Good, I want you to carry that with you and ok, let me show
you one more pattern. This is a pattern that I found, when I was first
developing these tools for my own personal life and also working with
clients, I found that sometime it's not enough to have positive
imagery because physiology will always control imagery. But who's to
say if you have powerful imagery but your physiology is run down
if you're feeling sick or hungry or tired, then you won't be able to
get into the right state but something else I found out, I would go out
there and feeling really confident, the minute I saw an absolute
gorgeous woman, xxxx took over, ok, and it just totally wiped all my
pictures out. So what I'm going to show you is an exercise to
integrate your physiology so you both have the physiology of awareness
and arousal at the same time. Ok. I don't want it so that the only
women you can use this on are women that you find repulsive. I want
it rigged up so the more attracted you are, the more clear you are.
The better your judgment is. Does that make sense?
Audience: Yes
Ross: By the way, I want you to do this exercise, if you can, with your
eyes open. Take a piece of paper or the back of your notes and write
down good judgment, bad judgment. Because the ability to have good
judgment, not just in the areas of romance, but also financially and in
every other areas, tremendously useful and very powerful. Wouldn't you
agree?
Audience: Yes
Ross: I mean you exercised great judgment coming here. I need you to
continue to give me money.
Audience: Laughs
Ross: And buy products. It only allows you to realize just how good
your previous judgment was. To the point where you think God, the more
I buy, the more you buy, buy, buy and give me money, the better you feel.
It's confirmation that you're on the right track. And you don't want to
feel lousy do you?
Audience: Laughs
Ross: There you go. I feel great knowing I'm being so generous. Allowing
you to give me your money. So as your hands float voluntarily to your
wallets and. There's something that you all want to do tonight and I'm
not sure what it is.
Audience: Laughs
Ross: Ok, so I want you to stop and remember a time when you made an
absolute great decision. It could be in any field of endeavor, maybe in
your job or some activity but you made a really good decision. What I
want you to do using that piece of paper to represent like the movie
screen in your mind, draw where on the screen you see that image of
having made a good decision. Do you understand what I want you to do?
Ok, imagine that piece of paper is that mental movie screen, stop a
minute, think of a time when you made a great decision, note that
location in your mind and then draw that square, that thing on the piece
of paper so it represents where in your mind that you see it. Do you
understand now? Do you understand?
Audience: Yes
Ross: Does anyone not understand? Stop, think of a time when you made
a great decision. Notice where you see that in your mind. And using
that piece of paper as representative of that mental movie screen,
draw where on the piece of paper you saw that decision. Does that make
sense? Ok, do it. Some of you have never made a good decision other
than coming here. You all got that?
Audience: Yeah
Ross: Now think of a time when you made a shitty decision. Dumb,
stupid. And note where you see that in your mind and draw that on the
paper, correspondingly. Ok. Now, you all got that? Ok. Now, close
your eyes and what we're going to do is in your mind we'll going to
build a grid, we're going to allow to act, remember when your ideal
self image, can everyone still point to where they see that image
in the green square
TAPE 2
Ross: Ok, here's is what I want you to know. Open your eyes. Ok,
now for this next one what I want you, put this arm out, put it out at
this level, like here. So put it out here. Just below your belt like
that. Ok. Close your eyes. I want you to think of a time when you saw
a woman and you were just as Beevis and Butt head would say, you've got
wood. ha ha. I mean, she was just like, so georgous, it was just like,
I want you to zoom in on the part of her body that you liked the most to
really see her and as you're getting those sensations in physiology
we'll make sure you don't get embarrassed here. But as you're really
feeling what that feels like, squeeze your fist. Oh. The thumb is up.
Let's adjust it, but you know. Ok. Open your fist and think of another
time when you just saw a woman, maybe at the beach, she was bending over
in that string bikini riding up her whatever. Ok, he's getting that,
go ahead, squeeze that fist. You can put the thumb down on top of it,
you know. Symbolic, symbolic. Sometimes a cigar is only a cigar. And
one more time, open your fist and think of another woman who you just
ok, squeeze that fist again. There you go. Ok, now here's what I want
you to do, open your eyes for me, ok, here's what I want you to do. I
want you to put this arm out like this and this arm out like this, out
here to the side and what we're going to do is, watch me. What we're
going to do is we're going to close our eyes and think about another
woman and we're going to bring our, watch me, we're going to bring our
hands slowly together like this so they're meet about midline. Get what
I'm doing? As you bring your hands together squeeze the fist. And bring
them together and watch, ok, so close
Audience: xxxxwoman, one or three
Ross: One or three it doesn't matter. So close your eyes, I'll guide
your hands. Bring your hands together and as you do so, close your
fist, make the fist, make the fist now and notice what it feels like
as those physiologies integrate. Do it again. Open your hands, open
your hands as you, ok, like this squeeze your fist, and bring them
together right about there, and let the physiologies integrate, do it
again, open your hands, squeeze them together and now I want you to
interlace your fingers, interlace your fingers and bring that in about
near, where your belly is. Spread your hands against your belly. There
you go. Now do it again. Open your eyes, open your eyes, do the xxx
close them, do the xxxx think of some woman who you just want to,
it should be lower ok, so you're bringing one up as you bring
the other down. Now, can you feel both of those simultaneously present?
Audience: Yes
Ross: Is that weird or what? Is it like being in a new
Audience: It's just incredibly focused and directive powerful, yeah.
Ross: So you feel excited from the waist down but up here you're
clear right.
Audience: Yeah, it's just. it's powerful
Ross: And now as you're doing that can you see where you've make a good
decision? When you have good judgment
Audience: Yeah
Ross: Where is that box? Can it tell you, give you a good suggestion
to what to do to approach her.
Audience: Yeah
Ross: There you go. Ok. Now sit down. Now that's a physiology
that he's never had before because it's integrating two things, it's
not a collapse, for you NLPers, it is not an anchor collapse because
an anchor collapse blends the two. This is creating a new, an entirely
new state. Nothing is being neutralized. It's not that one state
neutralizes the other it's they're combined into a brand new state, these
you've never had before. I call it, it's my own pattern. I call it
the physiological squash. Ok. Instead of a visual squash, it's a
physiological squash. Integrates it. So here's what we are going to do.
Here's the exercise. Let's stand up. Everyone stand up. Ok, let's
arrange it so you can all see me. Who cannot see me? Move to a place
where you can see me if you cannot. You can stand in the aisles if you
need to. Move to where you can see me. Do it now. Do it now. If you
want to come up front, can you all see me? So here's what we're going
to do. We're going to put, extend your left arm out like this, your left
arm, up at shoulder height. Close your eyes right now. Close your eyes
and think of a time, close your eyes, and think of a time when you were
exercising incredible judgment. I don't want you to see yourself, I want
you to see what you actually saw at the time. And as you remember what
that felt like, squeeze your fist. Alright keep your eyes close
throughout this,
release your fist and think of another time when you exercised superb
judgment, release your fist, think of another time when you exercised
superb judgment and as you remember how that felt close your fist again.
So your body remembers what it feels like. You remember where the
physical sensations are in your body, open your fist again, continuing
to keep your eyes close, think of one time when you exercised really
good judgment. Close that fist as you do so. Alright, now lower your
hand, open your eyes. Now what we want to do is we want to take a
right arm, look at me and extend it out like this. Can you all see
where I've got it extended. It's like if you were to pull your arm
in it would be right where your belt is, your belly button. Ok, extend
your right arm out lower in front of you. Can we see where it is. Yeah,
we all got that, that's all fine, extend it out, don't lock your elbow
and hurt yourself but extend it out, ok. Close your eyes and think of
a time when, I want you to visualize a woman who you were just really
turned on by, females, man, or I don't care what it is, just visualize
that. Remember those feelings of being totally turned on and as you
remember that and squeeze that into a fist. That's right. As you
remember that squeeze that into a fist. There you go. Now, open your
hand, keep your eyes closed and remember another time when you were
with someone, man, you saw them and you just run fire because you
wanted them so bad. As the women hear my voice. Go ahead. Close your
fist as you remember that. Leave it alone, just do without it, that's
right. Open your fist and one more time. Think of a time when you
were in front of someone, God, you would have given your left nut for
this one. Ok, or whatever. Close your fist as you remember those
feelings in your body. That's right. Now, put your hands down, open
your eyes for a minute, now here's what we're going to do. Watch me.
We're going to extend our left arm out like this, let's extend our left
arm out, don't hit your neighbor, ok, extend your left arm out like
this at shoulder height. Extend your right arm out but at the height
of like your hip. And what we're going to do is we're going to bring
our left arm down as we bring our right arm up so they'll meet in the
middle. Does that make sense? So look at me, it's like this. Get
it. One's going down and one's coming up so they meet, but we're going
to make the fist as we do so. Does that make sense? So everyone look at
me, do we got it?
Audience: Yes
Ross: Open your eyes, just so you can see me, I'm going to do it one
more time. Don't do it with me but just watch. So it's this. Put one
fist on top of the other like that, you got it. Ok, so close your eyes
visualize that person who you really want, keep your hands open and
now as you bring your left arm down and your right arm up, close your
fist and put your left fist on top of your right one. At like the
level of your belt. Should be about a belt level. So if it's
higher than that you need to put it lower. And realize what it feels
like to feel both things going total awareness and good judgment and
complete arousal simultaneously. Do it again. Put your hands out
left hand is shoulder level, the right hand should be about the level
of your waist, so some of you need to raise your right hand, raise
your right hand a bit so it's like that, that's right. Ok, bring
them together as you do so, close your fist, think of that person
who, God, you really want and notice how you feel both simultaneously
both alert and aware and totally turned on. Isn't that neat? As you
feel both simultaneously, one more time and do it. Now I don't want to
suggest it if you're preparing for a date or a party but doing this
right before you walk in the door, might put you in an incredibly
powerful state. Notice as you do this, how easy it is to look to
that square where you have good judgment. Just do that now. Keep
your eyes closed, do this one more time and as you do it look to where
your good judgment is. And notice if you don't get some idea, maybe
it's a voice, you see an image of both telling you exactly what to
do to get that person you want. You know how before you use to be
stuck for what to say, in this physiological do you think you might
find something.
Audience: Yeah
Ross: That's dirty, don't say that. Ok, sit down, feeling good.
This is my own unique pattern, I've never seen this anywhere else
in the NLP commuittee. I created this because I recognized that as
much as I teach internal representations, physiologies powerful
and necessary to teach. Did we all get something out of that?
Audience: Yes
Ross: Ok. I have found that physiological will control your internal
representation if you don't do this. If you do this, watch xxxx
see something interesting you don't even have to do it. All you have
to do is sit there, look at me, and notice the physiologies integrate
as I do this. And just imagine that you're doing it. Maybe if I
do it this way because to you that will make your brain think you're
doing it in the right direction. Do you notice that? Ok. So good.
Now that you're totally in my power, I like that. Ok. Five minutes.
Five minutes from now we will take a break to decide how we're going
to order the pizzas but not, ok, what was your question.
Audience: I was going to make a comment
Ross: Comment
Audience: I've never done this before
Ross: Yeah, I never showed it to you before.
Audience: Right, what had happened, what happened to the image
of the lady in the good decision. After putting it together it
seemed like it had already happened and it was happening.
Ross: It was happening. This is very psychic, there is a very thin
line between NLP and psychic ability. The difference is with NLP
you can do it much more precisely. When you combine what you want
with where you put good decisions, it's far more likely to draw to
you what you want and far more likely to present to you how to do it,
what ideas. Many of you have been stuck because when it comes to
ideas, you only talk to yourself. So you're cutting off a huge part
of your mind. The part of your mind that makes pictures. Now
when you want a good intuition, you'll be able to see pictures.
See what to do. Does that make sense?
Audience: Yes
Ross: I use this all the time. For example, with this woman I had
the lunch date with, I was, boy she was spilling her guts and she
told me she loves chocolate and she loves $100 bills and money. Well,
this makes her in a drooling state. It does. I have an anchor to
that too. So any time she thinks of chocolate, she thinks of certain
other things that she wants in her mouth. I'm serious.
Audience: Laughs
Ross: I set it up that way, so, what am I going to do. I went today
and I bought two Godiva chocolate bars. If you like chocolate, you'll
love Godiva. I took a hundred dollar bill and made a photo copy
of it, wrapped the $100 dollar bill around the chocolate, I'm having
it delivered to her office on Monday morning with a card that says
$100 is fake, the chocolate is real. Boom. They like that. How did
I get that idea? Well I always get my good intuitions. They're
up and to my left in the form of a picture. When I'm not in someone's
presence, I get good ideas about what to do in a form of a picture and
it's up here. When I am in their presence I hear a voice telling me
right here, when I'm doing NLP I get them both right here but it's
higher up. It's like literally coming from a higher self. When I
am doing NLP sessions with a client I hear their thoughts, before
they do, I see their pictures before they do, am I bullshitting or
is this for real? And I always see them in the same place. They're
always up here. Sometimes in the middle of a session I'll hear a
voice telling me what to do and it's way up there, I'll go oh, thank
you, and the client looks at me like what? I'll go nothing.
Audience: Laughs
Ross: It's like, do this and it always works. That is never wrong.
So everyone that you know they say get in touch with your higher
self, I want to make it a science so you'll know where your higher
self is. So you're not, you know, where where is my higher self
today? You know. Does that make sense?
Audience: Yes
Ross: Then of course there's a place in your mind where you're super
suggestible. And if you'll just stop and begin the process of
finding that place, that space where you are totally suggestible.
And if you should that you were to hear my voice and see my face
right in that place, in the super suggestible part of your mind, it'll
be wow, what a mental and spiritual bomd between me and you,
unbreakable isn't it. And you know what I'm doing but it works
anyway. Is this amazing Yates, have I, are you like amazed, I told, did
I tell you I would blow your mind. This is the way I motivate
myself. My motivation is what can I do to surprise Yates? Did I
not tell you on the phone? Am I blowing your mind. Guys, just stop
and think, this is only half way into the first evening. We've got
a whole weekend ahead of us.
Audience: Good
Ross: That's right, don't give it away. Let's take five minutes and
decide what kind of pizza we're going to get, turn off your tape
recorders. xxxxx you know you're so flipping, you have no
sympathy, you know, I don't think I can learn with you. For them,
you're right, I have no sympathy for them. Stop flirting Bruce.
Bruce: We're talking business
Ross: Right, I know she's adorable but you know but wait until
you're outside the room. Look at this handwriting, Bart. You need
to have a look at these huge loops. We'll do that later.
Audience: Ross
Ross: Yes, question
Audience: Don't worry about the xxxxxxx
Ross: Alright, guys, ok, I'd now like to introduce a pattern to you
which you have not seen before. Because this pattern is new. I
taught it in my Saturday class that the ladies were in. This pattern,
I want to tell you something, I am proud of what I do but I've never
been as proud of anything as this pattern. This just cracks all
resistance, you can use it anywhere, you can use it on women who
are the most hardening, bitter, cynical, they're melt like butter in
a microwave. You can use it in any situation, any situation you can
use it immediately, within the first few seconds of meeting her, you
can use it at a party, it does not require any use of tonality. It
is absolutely completely conversational. Now, do I always take the
opportunity to use tonality in hidden suggestions.
Audience: Yes
Ross: Doesn't mean you do. Doesn't mean that you have to. I'm going
to show you this pattern. Before I do that let me talk to you a little
bit about a basic concept in NLP. If I might, I know I can. And
that is the concept of maps of the world. By the way, Jackie and
Nicky, have you had the opportunity to try this pattern? Outside, out in the
real world? The one I showed you on Saturday. You know where you ask
the person about their challenge with what they do. Have you tried
it. What results did you get.
Jackie and Nicky: It's great. People just go right into it, you
know.
Ross: They open up completely, they feel totally bonded with you and
they give you great information that you can use.
Jackie and Nicky: Yeah, yeah.
Ross: Yeah, ok. Yeah, it is. Let me introduce this central concept
to you, maps of the world. There's an idea in NLP that people don't
respond to the world, they respond to their own internal map on the
inside of their head. And so if you understand what people's maps
are you then have tremendous leverage. Look at, on the page of your
notes where it says the first super pattern. Do you see that.
Unfortunately my cork express program is not working, I can't get at
the number of the pages so do you see that. Under Maps of the World.
It says people respond to their maps of the world and they compose
their beliefs about the following. No. 1. Who they are, their
identity. No. 2. What they can do, their capability. No. 3 What
is possible for them in the world, their possibility and No. 4 What
they deserve, their deservingness. Now, look up here and listen to me.
Look up here and listen to me. That's means stop writing and look
up here and listen to me. Thank you. I did that for your own good.
If you understand people on this level you get tremendous amounts of
information. This is the deepest level of who they are as people.
If you get this information, No. 1, people aren't use to someone
communicating with them on this level. Most people don't even know
themselves at this level. If you know them at this level, there's
nothing you can't do. Typically, the problem is most people don't
know this stuff. They don't know how to communicate with this kind
of stuff. So here's how you find out this stuff. Generally speaking
a map is defined by what's not on it. A map is defined by the
boundaries of the map. What are the borders. And in someone's life,
mentally and emotionally, and spiritually in the real world and both
inside and outside, the map is defined by where they have a challenge.
And it's only when someone experiences a challenge by the way that
they expand in one of these areas. Does that make sense?
Audience: Yes
Ross: Does that make sense?
Audience: Yes
Ross: Ok, I'm having a challenge with you, so speak up. Alright,
so let's talk about this. I prefer to demonstrate rather than talk.
Nicky it's time to earn your keep, come up please. I pick my
volunteers. Oh, look at the presupposition. I know you might think
that, you might think that you might think that but if you would find
that thought dropping to the floor only as fast as you recognize
it, you do want a sexual future, don't you, sit down xxxxx
Audience: Laughs
Ross: I feel good knowing that you changed your mind but, ok, let
me show you how to do this. First of all, assuming that presupposing
that she doesn't know me or what I do or any of that stuff and we're
meeting at a party, whatever it is, what's the number one natural question
that people ask you at a party.
Audience: What your name and what is your job
Ross: What is your name and what do you do. Now, you'll note when I
do this pattern when you learn to do it and do it well, there's no
intrusiveness here. You're not asking any strange questions, you're
not going so, when you dressed up a saint bernard in split crotch
panties and rub the oil on the both of you, you know.
Audience: Laughs
Ross: Do you do that, no.
Nicky: How did you know?
Ross: Well, I read it. I told you I could see dots when someone is
really attracted to me.
Audience: Laughs
Ross: There you go, that's right, it was, an accurate one. (Ross
laughs) See, I'm demonstrating to you, they throw something at me
I step back and use it. Seriously, I did think you'd preferred coming
tonight
Audience: Laughs
Ross: Again, that's right. No, seriously, listen, listen. Here's
the thing. So let's say we're at a party, ok. I've introduced myself
and talked a little bit. I go, you know Nicky, I know that something
at a party like this people always ask what do you do. And it's not
that I'm not interested in that, but I find that I've learned so much more
when I inquire from someone what the challenge is in what they do.
Whatever it is that you do there are some aspects of it that are easy.
Some are more difficult. I know some are a real challenge and others
you can do in your sleep, with me in my line of work, it's the same
thing, get that, sleep with me. We're get to that later. You don't
need to throw that in if you don't want to. So my curiousity is, but
you do want to, my curiousity is, I'm just curious. If I were to ask
you what's the one aspect of what you do that's really a challenge
to you, either, because you have to really focus in to get it done
well, or you just have to focus in to motivate yourself to do it.
What would your response be?
Nicky: I would say that being an interior designer, the biggest
challenge in what it is that I do is finally closing a sale, getting
people to commit. That's what I find to be the challenge.
Ross: Getting people, well, let me ask you about that. So you can get
them interested initially but it's, what's, I'm not sure about this
so I'm asking for clarification. Is it that you can't get them in the
door to use your services, or once you get them in you can't get them
to sign a contract.
Nicky: Oh, no. I can definitely get them in the door, I can get them
interested but when it becomes time for them to commit alot of times
and I would say I do, I do it pretty well most of the time, but what
I'm trying to do is I'm trying to work on it with rather than it
50% of the time that I can get the order, trying to make it 80%.
Ross: 80%.
Nicky: Yes.
Ross: Well, so if you can do it 80% what would you say about that,
that would be
Nicky: Well, I would say that, I would say that would ultimately
help me, that would be, that would be my ultimate goal for the time
being, once I get to 80% then possibly to more. But I want to
keep doing it until it becomes easy. Because then I have other things
that I would like to pursue as well.
Ross: Do you know what those other things are?
Nicky: Yes, I do.
Ross: Would you want to
Nicky: Well, I would, I basically am in the line of work that I am in
right now, I'm working for an actual company rather than for myself
because I think that I need to build my selling skills more than anything.
So, it's good to do it with a company where I'll have support, after
that I have another business that I'm interested in going into along
the same kinds of lines but definitely where I need to sell my jobs.
I just want to get additional training in it. So.
Ross: Now, in the course of that she gave us some good information.
One of the things that she did not say, is she didn't say, well, she
did say, I'm in, did you say I'm in interior designer or I am an
interior designer. Which did she say.
Nicky: I am an interior designer
Ross: I am an interior designer. So it's, that's her identity. She
identifies herself very strongly with what she does. Ok, she said
I am an interior designer. So we know her work is very important
to her, isn't it. And this is not someone who is going to appreciate
a man who expects her to give up her career for him.
Nicky: That's right.
Ross: I mean
Nicky: Look here guys, loosen up.
Ross: I'm serious, if any guy tried to say you're spending too much
time on the job, you really need to focus more in on me, how quickly
would you get rid of him. Look at her face.
Nicky: Well, let's just put it this way, Paul, the last guy that I was
with 5 years, that sabotaged some of my work, he's no longer with me.
Ross: Ok, and the minute you saw that sabotage how long did it take
you to cut him off at the legs.
Nicky: I'm embarrassed to say, it took, it took finally about a year.
Ross: Oh, wow.
Nicky: Yeah, but that was a gradual process, a little subtly.
Ross: Yeah, so we know, because whenever you hear someone say I am
an actor, I am blah blah blah. Sometimes it's a colloquialism
but for the most part it means that's who they are as a person.
That is information about their identity. Now, in the course of this
they also lean on certain words. Did you hear the word that she
leaned on. Support. Did you hear her lean on support. Build,
support.
Audience: What do you mean by lean on
Ross: She puts extra emphasis on it. Right. And she wants to close.
I'd say it's important to learn to close consistently.
Nicky: Yes, close consistently and commitment. Even if they won't
close right then, are they committed to working with me.
Ross: Commitment. Did you hear the word?
Nicky: Listen guys commitment is important.
Audience: Laughs
Nicky: xxx hint hint xxxxx work either
Ross: Ok, build, support, commitment. In fact, you know I'm sitting here
trying to recollect when we did this on Saturday, two weekends ago,
just exactly what your values were. I seemed to remember hearing from
you that fidelity is also very important.
Nicky: Yes, fidelity is.
Ross: Yeah, I know that because she said it but that would be part
of commitment anyway. Wouldn't it.
Nicky: Right
Ross: Ok, so I already know alot of information about her. What do we
know about Nicky? Do you think that Nicky is someone, no, here's the
second question I asked. So I gathered all that information, right.
Are you guys paying attention, look here, ignore the back of the room,
look at me. The next question I said, so Nicky, so let me ask you
something. What's your belief about
this. Do you believe that it's always going to be a challenge or do
you believe that one day it will become easy.
Nicky: No, I do believe that one day it will become easy, with
practice these things become easier.
Ross: Ok, practice, ok. So is Nicky someone who believes the world
is a veil of tears. When it comes to her beliefs about possibility.
What do you think her beliefs are about possibility? Great. So you
know in the area of possibility she's positive. How about, did you hear
that?
Nicky: The sky is the limit.
Ross: Hear that? Do you think she'd be attracted to someone who
comes from an attitude of, well, I don't know, life is really rough.
Huh, would that attract you.
Nicky: No, I don't think so.
Ross: No, that would repulse her. Like swimming in vomit.
Nicky: Where is the door, where is the quickest door, I'd be out of
there like a fucking arrow.
Ross: Like a fucking arrow. Ok, there you go. You got it? Now
listen. What do you think, who is she as a person, who's her
identity? She is what she does, she's an interior designer. What
does that tell you. So when she gives us this information your
brain is got to be clicking in that good judgment place going what
is to say about what she would like in a relationship? Is it, oh
hello Steve, is it hard doing to it that she wouldn't be interested
in someone who wants her to quit her job. Is that hard to
discover from this.
Audience: No
Ross: Ok. Now I asked her what's your belief about this. This tells
me
Nicky: You're right about the money, $100 bill and Godiva chocolate
Ross: Oh, there you go. Thank you. Listen to me. What has she told
us about her beliefs about her capability. She believes she's a
capable person and there are some new skills that she would like to learn.
So, if I say, you know Nicky, I'm teaching a sales training, and part
of that is learning how to build in the ability to get commitments
from people and also get their full support in bringing you new
clients.
Nicky: That's another thing that I would like to focus on, is how to
build more business, so, yes, and again, that lean word, that I didn't
even, wasn't even aware of until Paul told me, build, support, this is
true, these are important.
Ross: She leans on those words. So let's say you want to use this
for dating information, you know. I have this idea. I'm beginning
to build in my mind this great idea for us having fun and you know
I think the more you listen to it, the more you'll support the
fact it will be lots of fun and even make a commitment to go do it.
Nicky: Well, tell me about this idea of yours.
Ross: Well we're going to melt Godiva chocolate in a bathtub, no.
Audience: Laughs
Ross: Ok. But see
Nicky: And who are we going to cover in that?
Ross: I already know. Which one of us would you like to remain
uncovered. Anyway, so listen, listen, listen. We've gathered tremendous
information about her, now, is this intrusive. Was I xxxxxx did I
change my tonality.
Nicky: No
Ross: In fact, what happens, you've tried this in the real world.
How do you feel when someone talks to you about this.
Nicky: Well, the way that you feel is strictly, when I first did this,
you know, in your seminar on Saturday, a total stranger sitting next
to me and at first you hear what you're suppose to say to them, you're
like, you know bullshit. This can't possibly, you know, work, it's
going to sound weird, it's going to feel awkward, no. The fact of the
matter is that most people are thrilled to talk about themselves.
That's why if you want to get information from somebody you know, for
you to say to them, you know woman, man, it doesn't matter, for you to say
to them, hey I'd like to, you know, to take you to lunch, I'd like to hear more
about what it is that you do. And so most people are flattered as hell
to talk about themselves and so for him to ask not just what do you
do, or this other person that I was with on Saturday, when she said
what's the challenge in what you do. It creates a real rapport, a
feeling of warmth, a feeling of security, almost akin to like
being in the womb, kind of a cliche. But it's the truth. It's
where you're really communicating and it's not just this BS fluff
talk.
Ross: Now, I'll tell you something else. You're talking about to someone
about the deep coil level issues that touch who they are as a person.
When someone feels like they're being touched at a deep level as a
person, when that happens they feel a tremendous xxxx. I'll tell you
something else. Most people never stop to ask themselves these
questions. And these are what I call a second joint question. They're
the kind of things that you ask yourself when you'll really stoned
and you're going like, what's really my challenge with this, ok and
like where is my belief about it. Would it be resolved, and you know,
listen to me, in order to answer these questions the person has to go
into an altered state. These questions send them into an altered state
because they're accessing information on a deep level. So, guess what,
not only do you create tremendous rapport, get great information that
you can use against them, but they also go into trance.
Nicky: Yes
Ross: Aren't you?
Nicky: Yes, Paul
Ross: Now go sit, go sit down. Give her a big hand.
Audience: Claps
Ross: Do we understand the power of this.
Audience: Yes
Ross: What we're going to do is we're going to break into groups and
we're going to do this exercise. And I'm going to give you instructions
on how to do it. And I think the fact, it may be thoroughly in the
notes, I'm not sure, let's see. Ok, let's look on, see where it
says first super pattern. See where it says steps. Do you see it,
yes or no?
Audience: Yes
Ross: By the way. She was not paid to say that. You know, when a
woman says God when someone asks me I feel like I'm in the womb, man,
I'm so comfortable, do you think that's not something. Is that
something that you would like for them to feel with you.
Audience: Yes
Ross: They crack open like a clam under super heated steam.
Nicky: xxxxx even if there's not sexual attraction in the beginning
I'll give you guys a big hint. Women tend to, a friend of mine, a
psychologist said and I believe it. Women tend to be attracted to the
guys that they fall in love with or create a xxxxxx with where as men
tend to fall in love with a woman that they're attracted to. For
whatever that's worth.
Ross: This is creating intimacy but more important it's giving you
information. Man, can you use this. Man oh man can you use this. I
mean, we just make a commitment to support that idea as we build a
deeper rapport. Yes, back there.
Audience: You mention about, you know there's a challenge in your
work, job and there's a challenge in your life.
Ross: Yes, but here's why I inquire about the job. Because it's a
little bit safe in saying what's your challenge in a relationship.
Audience: xxx a relationship, it's just what's your life is about
right now. You might be in between jobs.
Ross: Well then they're give you, I'm bored and looking for work and you'll
say what's your challenge with that. Ok. So, Step No. 1. You make
fluff talk. How about them Dodgers, blah blah, blah? Who do you
know at the party, blah blah blah. I did this, Bart saw me do this
today, with this girl, Marlea. Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful girl.
We were at the Beverly Center where I was buying the chocolate and
we were going down the escalator and I just commented on her, the
way she was dressed. I said I like your barrett and you know I
think you really have a tremendous sense of style. I meant it. It
was not bullshit. And, then we walked right to the underground
parking garage and Bart and I, two strange men are following her,
I said look I've got to ask you something. I said, you know, I
know everyone asks you what you do but my real question is I went
into that. And, she, I mean it was like wow, she's like totally
fascinated, she said who are you. What do you do? I said, I'll tell
you what, ask me this as we're having coffee and I'll tell you and I
handed her my card, I'm going to call you. I've got to find out what
you do. And we're driving away and her car was right, and she rolled
down the window, I'm going to call you, I've got to find out what you
do. I'm really serious.
Audience: Laughs
Ross: I said that's right. This is incredibly powerful. This is
unbelieveable. So ok, pay attention. (2) Listen to me, ask about
the one thing they do that challenges them the most. Ok. (3)
Ask for clarification if you need it. If you're not sure, like I
asked for a little clarification, what do you mean by that? Make sure
you understand what they're saying. (4) Listen for the personal
trance words. These are the words that they lean on. She leaned on support,
build and commitment. They'll give them extra emphasis. They'll
change their posture, look guys, look up here. When they use these
words they'll lean forward, they'll go like that. They'll lean into
you when they speak, or they'll put an extra expression, they'll say
it with a different emphasis. Do you understand?
Audience: Yes
Ross: So listen for the personal trance words. Write them down in
your head if you have to. Listen for clues as to the world model.
Are they saying I am. Do they say I don't believe that. I had a
woman say well I don't believe you can control your life. She said
that, well I went ok, that means she's out of control. Get out of
there. Do you understand? You'll be able to find out so much,
because often times like, have you ever been in a relationship and
you did everything right and they walked away from you anyway.
Sometimes the problem is they just don't believe they deserve it. And
you wind up feeling shattered when all along you could have found that
out in the first ten minutes. Thank you. If you people knew how
dangerous some of the talents that people in this room have, you would
be fighting me. But I'm not, because I don't exist. Ok. (6) Ask
them what's your belief about this. Do you believe that it'll always
be a challenge or will it one day be easy. Why do we ask that question?
Because that really forces them to go deep inside and really reveal
what they believe about themself in the world. If you hear like well
it's probably always going to be fucked, is that a positive person.
Do you think they'll appreciate you being positive with them?
Audience: No
Ross: Do you think that you're going to have to take a negative
approach. If it's worth it. By the way, if you're in employment
or personnel, you might find that these are some useful questions
to ask a potential employee
Nicky: Paul, there's something I forgot to mention. xxxx real shitty
xxxx
Ross: Ok. Well, I'll ask you before you make morning coffee ok.
Audience: xxxxxx
Ross: What's your belief about this challenge. Does that make sense?
It's like someone said, one of my favorite lines is, let's have breakfast.
Should I call you or nudge you.
Audience: Laughs
Ross: The other one is do you have a little Jew in you. Would you like
one?
Audience: Laughs
Ross: A little Jew, would you like one? (7) Use of, listen, number
7. Use of personal trance words and their world map is leverage to
get what you want. And (8) if you wish you can transition to another
pattern. Listen, look up here. Remember what I said about moving
from pattern to pattern. If you talk about this first, it's then
natural to move on and talk about relationships and say something like,
Nicky, do you know the other thing that I found out that people have
these models of the world, you know, about what they believe about
things but they, in your mind, in everyone's mind they also have a
map of the ideal relationship. But I find that they, people don't
think about it at the deepest level. Like if you would ask me about
five years ago, what's really important to you in a relationship,
I would have said sense of humor. And it's not that that quality
isn't important but I've learned that that's a quality in a person,
it's not a value in a relationship. The value is having fun. I've
found that when you focus on values you can find alot of different
avenues to get to that. So I'm just curious, if I were to say to
you, what's important to you in a relationship, what would you say?
Nicky: Honesty
Ross: Honesty. Well, I understand that honesty is a tremendously
important quality to have in a person but when you're with a person
who's honest, what does that allow you to experience. What is
the value? Well, if you're with someone and you know they're
honest what does that allow you to have with them. What does it
allow you to experience with them?
Nicky: I just don't know the word, the value of the word that I'm
looking for.
Ross: Could it, might be trust.
Nicky: Trust, there we go
Ross: Trust. So that allows you now, to natural transition to
talk about her ideal relationship, find out how she knows when she can
trust someone and then just use that as well. You don't need to
shift your tonality or move your pictures, you've gotten all the
information you need to demonstrate in your behavior. So, look, I'll tell
what we're going to do. Let's do this. So, we just spent the last
twenty to twenty five minutes doing this exercise. First of all let's
get some reports back. Who wants to share how they, what happened,
how you thought about.
Audience: xxxxx Laughs
Ross: Stand in line you big xxxxx. Alright, how many people here were
able to learn some really interesting things about the world or the
person they were talking to. How many people learned some, ok, what
did you learn, who did you work with?
Audience: With Rod
Ross: Ok, what were you able to listen about, who he thinks he is as
a person, let's go through the categories. Identity, possibility,
capability, deservingness. What were you able to learn about him?
Audience: At this moment and time right now he's got a big challenge
in front of him in his career. He sees, he's in real estate sales
and he just sees
Ross: Well without telling me what the challenge is, I want to know,
what did it tell you about him as a person. What did you learn about
who he is as a person.
Audience: That he sees alot of difficulties right now, and he believes
that he's close to finding a way to break through to have things be
easier one way or the other. He doesn't know how but he sees that he's
going to do it at sometime in the next couple of months probably.
Ross: So he does believe in his ability to resolve things.
Audience: Yeah
Ross: Ok. Did he reveal any of his personal trance words?
Audience: Yeah, he was talking about pushy was one that he said a couple
of times.
Ross: Pushing or pushy
Audience: Pushy, in terms, you know, as people in tranactions,
service was one, rapport, and I believe that
Ross: So without being pushy and being able to maintain the rapport
that you know you'd like to have, I'd like to tell you about this
quality of service that I can offer. I don't even know what you're
talking about but see boom boom boom. See how you use them. Did
you feel rapport with him as you listened
Audience: Yeah xxxxx
Ross: See you find similaries. It's a natural human tendency to find
similarities and if you don't find them in the subject matter, you'll
find them in something else. How did you feel when he talked to you?
Audience: We felt a bond because of common ground. Common challenges.
Ross: Exactly, right. And did you feel like he was pushing you or
did you feel like he was really finding out about you.
Audience: I felt that he understood where I was coming from.
Can I ask you a question?
Ross: Yes
Audience: In finding out his trance words I was trying to transpose
them into the relationship mode and to see how they applied,
Ross: But you don't do that. That's not the purpose
Audience: Ok
Ross: You don't do that. You're stepping out of bounds. Ok. Anyone
else? Share, share with the group. Who wants to share with the group?
Come on. He was switching and talking to the person about personal
relationships. You don't do that yet, I'll show you how. Does
anyone else want to share their experience? Somebody. Come on.
Audience: Can I clairfy something?
Ross: Ok, yeah
Audience: What I meant was that all the challenges that I had before
have been accomplished. I have accomplished all my goals. Financially,
real estate, xxxxx so now I'm having doubts whether to
stay in the real estate or get out.
Ross: What the big word you just used? Accomplish. Being really
accomplished is really important to you isn't it.
Audience: Yes
Ross: Would you say you're an accomplished person?
Audience: Yes
Ross: You know if I could show you a way to really add into that
absolute sense of accomplishment, how do you think you will feel about
that?
Audience: I feel that I'd open my mind to it.
Ross: You'd what?
Audience: I'd have an open mind towards it.
Ross: Right, so, you listen to these words. Who else, who else.
We have pizza waiting back here so let's move through this. Yes.
Bartholomew
Bartholomew: I find that he used the world in alot of control and he
hates it when he feels helpless, and he wanted to be in control.
Business, as I'm sure as well as personal life.
Ross: So is there anyway where he can feel in control he'll give you
anything. Ok, what are you doing crawling under the table Nicky?
Anyone else. In this room you've got to call me Ross, but ok. Ok,
anyone else. I know you ran into, what was your challenge.
Audience: I ran into trouble. Basically what I saw was I couldn't
pick up on any trance words. I couldn't pick up on anything.
Ross: Ok. Sometimes, well sometimes you may be harder to hear.
Audience: Yeah
Ross: Sometimes some people speak in a pretty even tone.
Audience: I couldn't pick up on
Ross: Were you able to get what his values and ideas were about
the world? Identity and possibility.
Audience: Not really.
Ross: Ok, well, let's have pizza and we'll work on it. Ok. Let's
take about ten to fifteen minutes to chow down.
Ross: So, let's talk about, let's continue to talk about this
exercise that we just did. You had a challenge, what was going on?
Audience: I wasn't able to focus on picking up any of the phrases,
any of the personal trance words that he might have
Ross: Some people, there's a couple of things about that, some people
just don't put much emphasis on what they say. Which tells you alot
about them right there. My guess would be that therefore they're
pretty disassociated, I don't know, I haven't, is that true?
Audience: Well my suggestion of experience that I was putting
in somewhat
Ross: Ok, so you maybe just didn't hear it.
Audience: Maybe
Ross: It could be, it's pretty loud in here. I would suggest that you
go out into the hallway sometime and try it again.
Audience: Ok
Ross: Ok, anyone else want to share about how they felt either when
someone was questioning them or how they, you know, what they learned
about the other person. One of the things you can do, is remember that
place in your mind where you have good judgment and good, in that place
in your mind, place those questions. What is this person telling me
about their identity, their possibility, their capability and their
deservingness. So if you'd just stop and close your eyes, that means
do it, and remember where in your mind you have that place with good
judgment and see those questions being stuck in there, what is this
person telling me about their identity, capability, possibility and
deservingness. And then just remember to do that whenever you're doing
this, you'll find it alot easier. Anyone else want to add anything.
Anyone?
Audience: I have a question
Ross: Yes, go ahead. What's your name?
Richard: Richard
Ross: Ok.
Richard: Since we're looking for leverage to use shouldn't our focus be
on something that has a sense of possibility within it, I know when I first
started with this, all the feedback I was getting had no sense of
possibility
Ross: Possibility for what?
Richard: For anything. I mean, the first
Ross: No. Erk, stop. When they give you this kind of information
the possibility is that you can use it to get what you want. I don't
understand what you mean by sense of possibility, I'm really not
understanding here, so let's try. What do you mean? By sense of possibly
for what?
Richard: Well, first of all the first three questions that I asked I
got the exact same response and that was.
Ross: What do you mean first three, you're suppose to ask one question
and then a second followup.
Richard: Right. And I asked the first question and the response was
that the question couldn't be answered because he was in the process
of changing careers, then I said what was the challenge in that.
Ross: Yeah
Richard: I can't answer that because I'm in the processing of changing
careers. And then
Ross: So what is it about changing careers that you find so challenging?
Richard: Well, I did get around to that and until I got around to, to
you know, him talking about, you know some potential for changing
careers or something before I actually got to anything that I thought
I could use.
Ross: Ok, well sometimes you have to press harder to find something.
Sometimes you have to ask more questions. You know when someone's
mind is a little scrambled or you know, I'm just teasing, I am teasing.
Audience: My mind is scrambled.
Ross: Ok, his mind is scrambled so he admitted it. Then you know I'm
not going to deal with this person. When my challenge is, I've got
so much resin in my brain I'm not saying, if you see those
responses, you know, this is probably someone that you're not going to
deal with. That's tell you enough right there the fact that you're
not getting responses tells you something, there something in the
wiring that you need to go, oh ho.
Richard: Yeah, but I didn't have that option, I was suppose to go on
for ten minutes.
Ross: Well, you always have an option in my seminar. This is not about
being a sheep, I'm not saying that you are, I'm saying it's about learning
to be flexible on your feet. Here's an opportunity to be flexible
Richard: No, but I, like I, well ultimately I, you know, we did get
past that and but you know I could when he was talking about what he
had done in the past, you know, like I was saying, he didn't talk about
any sense of possibility for, you know
Ross: Because his mind is totally focused in the past. That's the
problem. That's one of his challenges. And something that I've noticed
about him too with all due respect, he'll talk about his past. Which
shows you right then and there that you're going to have difficulty with
a person unless you can relate what you want him to do to his past or
you can get him off his past, if you could get him off his past, he would
become so suggestible because there's nothing there. You could fill in
any blank that you wanted. I hear this and it gives me tremendous, I'm
thinking whoa, look at that, that's fascinating. If I could get him off
his past and shut that down he a blank slate for me to write on. But
because, I'm not making fun of him, I'm simply saying because your
level of sophistication of understanding, this isn't at mind, you would
stop where I would go whoa that's fascinating. See what I mean. But
he's an extremely difficult subject. Try it again with someone else.
Richard: He was difficult until I got him beyond that
Ross: Ok, but you did, the point is you did get him beyond that.
Richard: Right
Ross: That's my point. Your first shot in the exercise under a time
pressure you got him beyond it. That's the point. That's what I want
you to focus on. The rest of this I don't necessarily care to hear.
But what I want you to focus on is the revelant issues, you did get
past it. The very part of your that knows how to get past it will
know how to get past it when you're thrown a challenge by a woman in
the real world. Congratulations. Give him a hand.
Audience: Claps
Ross: Notice how I reframed that. Ok, we'll take, yes.
Audience: I don't see how asking the two questions, answers
identity, capability, possibility xxxxx
Ross: Because you're testing their model of the world. By asking
someone what their challenge is, do you have to stop and think, this
challenges me because I'm not able to do, because I'm not the kind of
person who would do it because I don't deserve to have it. I just
believe the world doesn't allow anyone to have this. Asking that
question presupposes that they have to access on one or more of those
levels.
Audience: Oh, so you may just get one of these.
Ross: You may get one, you may get 2, 3 or 4.
Audience: How would identity come through.
Ross: I am a stock broker. I am a selfish person.
Audience: xxxxxxx
Ross: But they will may say that, they volunteer stuff. This opens
them up and they volunteer, they spill their guts. Do you understand?
Audience: A little
Ross: The questions presuppose their accessing, it's not like I'm
saying, what's your favorite color. What your favorite color?
Audience: Blue
Ross: Ok, I know you do. So do I. Purple, Jacquar Print,
remember, we talked about this. It's in my computer. A girl Missy
whom I'm working on. Leopard print and purple. My point is, look,
in order to answer the question, what's your real challenge, they
have to say it's a challenge. Something is a challenge for the
following reasons: I am not the kind of person who does this, what
would be your challenge with shoplifting?
Audience: It's illegal
Ross: But what's the challenge for doing something illegal?
Audience: I don't want to get caught.
Ross: Why don't you want to get caught?
Audience: I'll go to jail.
Ross: What's wrong with you going to jail.
Audience: I lose my freedom
Ross: Ah, now we're starting to hear a value, freedom, do you get
it. See now he's told me he a person who really values his freedom.
See in order to answer these questions you have to access at a deep
level. Get it.
Audience: Got it.
Ross: Step, take a step back. Take the content out of what happened
and look at the transaction. In order to understand NLP you have to
do it. You have to experience it for yourself to really understand
it. So take the content out, put it in a bigger frame and look at
what just happened here and here. What he did, is he was so focused on the
content of the exercise he ignored the fact, he didn't ignore it, he
saw it. He did see it because he told me he did. But he was focused
in on the challenge rather than focusing in on the fact that he got
past it. He knew he got past it, I'm not saying he didn't know it, but
that to me, that has ten billion percent significance and the fact
that it didn't come out the way that I would have planned it, he would
have planned it, has zero significance. Do you see what I mean? I look
at process not content. If you want to be a master in persuasion and
human endeavor, look at process not content. Do you have a question
or are you picking your nose, I can't tell. Let me move over here
with the microphone. I always get complaints, we can't hear the
question.
Audience: Can you tell me xxxxxxx what is the point of eliciting their maps
of the world by identity, capability
Ross: Because you gained tremendous information. If she says, I you
know, if she leans on the word support, Nicky said I am an interior
designer versus well I work in interior design. If someone says they are
what they do, that means that what he do is extremely important. What
is that tell you about dating and everything else. Oh, why don't
you take a day off from work and, you know, go to the races with me.
Maybe if they're feeling really stressed. But do you understand my
point.
Audience: xxxx gaining information, we're not trying to lead them
in any way.
Ross: You can, once you do this a few times, you'll learn to.
Audience: Alright, these questions we are asking, were that to elicit
their identity, all these four things or
Ross: Yes, yes
Audience: Just the first thing.
Ross: Yes, well, they will not necessarily get, you see, get off
procedure. Get off thinking that because I've labeled them in order,
1, 2, 3, 4, you'll hear them in 1, 2, 3. 4. 1, 2, 3, 4, only tells
you about my subjective mental state at the time I was writing these
notes. It doesn't necessarily tell you the order in which you'll get
these in the real world. Understand the distinction.
Audience: Yes I understand.
Ross: By the way procedure is very important to you isn't it.
Audience: Yeah
Ross: If I could show you a way where you would understand, step by
step, every thing you needed to do, so you could lay it out in front
of you and follow, look at his eyes get wide. I'm using, I'm
demonstrating, I'm teaching, I know from they way the type of, I say
to myself what's the common thread in what he's asking. He's focused
on procedure, he's focused on order, it's important to be orderly
isn't it.
Audience: Sure is
Ross: Would you say you were an orderly person.
Audience: Absolutely
Ross: Then you proceed in an orderly fashion.
Audience: What else is there. Laughs
Ross: And plus part of the xxxx of what I'm teaching is it will allow you
to proceed in an orderly predictable fashion in getting Mr. Happy wet
and satisfied.
Audience: Laughs
Ross: See, am I psychic, no. Am I listening?
Audience: Yes
Ross: And am I asking myself the right set of questions.
Audience: Yes
Ross: See, you just do, Bart looking at me like he is in love. Stop
that. No, did you get it?
Audience: That's right
Ross: So the whole thing is, did I learn information about you. Why
could it be useful. Because I can get you to do anything the fuck I want
if I put it in your model. Now let's say we have someone who values
creativity and spontaneity. Do you think I'd take the same approach with
him. Absolutely not. You'd probably view someone like that as lazy,
disorganized, sloppy, shiftless and a flaky bum, right? Yeah, but in
an extreme. That's an extreme. Oh, no, that's an extreme. See I've
been doing this longer than you but you guys can do this. There's no
tonality involved, you're not going as you find yourself thinking of
something, although you are finding yourself thinking of something,
no, but, what am I pointing to my
Audience: Laughs
Ross: So, you get it. More questions. By the way do you see how good
the seminar works when you ask questions. Ok. It makes it seem alot
more orderly.
Audience: Laughs
Ross: Do you understand where the power is in this. Then she will spill
her guts and tell you stuff and even if you don't use hyponotic suggestion
you don't need to. Look at the pleasure trance state you went into when
I said those things. I didn't even have to say them, all I had to do was
point to where he sees them in his mind, right. Up and to your right.
You think about things in an up right orderly way. Yeah, see, you look
up there. In fact, look down into your left for a minute and try to
think of something orderly without looking up into your right. See, if
I want to confuse him I just wipe his pictures out and go like that.
Keep pointing down. Yeah, where were we. Trance, that's where you were
again. Back now. More questions. Yes.
Audience: Is this stuff designed to get information that is basically true
about the person or do you have to be on guard. xxxxxxx
Ross: If you're dealing with their coil level of challenges you're not
going to get, you know, well, first of all one of the reasons I get
that prefice, where I say, I know there are some things you do that
are easy and other things that are difficult. There are some things to
challenge and other things you can do in your sleep. With me. Sleep
with me. Did you hear the command. Oh, we'll get to punctuation and
ambiguity later. You're going to get xxxx with the stuff because
you're dealing with this stuff, I'm saying don't, when I say there
are some things that are easy, there are some things that are
challenge, and I say what's the challenge, I'm going don't tell me about
the easy stuff. Do you get it. Do you all get that. When I say there
are some things that you really like to eat and there are some things
that you don't and I don't want to hear and tell me about what you
like to eat, I'm also saying don't tell me about what you don't. Get it.
The set up helps, everything I do, everything I do, is designed to keep
them going in that direction. You know the metaphor I give of fishing.
That someone who shall now go nameless told me, is that when you're fishing
i consider that I have a 100 lb line and a 5,000 lb fish.
And when the fish swims up I'm going to watch and see what
what part of the bait it likes. What does this fish
respond to. Is it responding to me talking about feelings, is the
fish responding to my talking about challenges, is the fish responding
to my putting pictures in their head. Once I see that the fish is
hooked, where most people make the mistake, is they start reeling really
hard. The fish feels the tug, breaks the line and swims away. What I
do is I keep myself focused and I'm reeling myself to the fish so the
fish never feels the tug of the line until it's too late and then the
fish just eliminates it's own resistance and goes, oh, this is natural,
this is right. It feels right to jump into the boat, be gutted, skinned
boned, fried up and eaten. I'm going to jump into the boat now. And
some people on the Net criticizes me, they go you're teaching rape.
I go wait a minute. Wait a woman says please, please, do me, do me,
and she jumps on me and rips my clothes off and rides me like a
screaming xxxx and goes more and more and more, where is the rape, I
don't get it. I'm the one being raped.
Audience: Laughs
Ross: I don't want that
Audience: Laughs
Ross: I mean could you see the trial. My attorney gets her up on the
stand and says, at that point what did you say to Ross. And the witness
goes, I said fuck me, do me hard all night long and then what did you
do? I ripped off his pants and rode him. Now what is the jury going
to go. Case dismissed. But I later decided that I really didn't want to
do it so it's a retroactive expost facto revocation of consent. I mean
you know, you don't need to be Johnnie Cochran to defend that kind of
case.
Audience: Laughs
Ross: By the way I think he's an incredible lawyer. If I ever got
my ass in trouble I'd sell my blood to get this man to defend me.
Nicky: Have you noticed what he did with tonality
Ross: He's very xxxxx
Nicky: Yeah, everybody, it's not the way Chris Darden was totally
moving his xxxxxxxxxx
Ross: He's smooth as rippling silk
Nicky: Right and Chris Darden acted like, I mean, like such an ass,
you know in front of everybody he was screaming, he was caring on
like a baby and Judge Ito did not like that. Johnnie Cochran, you
noticed he modularly xxxxxx whether he does it consciously or
subconsciously, the fact is
Ross: He's very good and he goes your honor. He's got that, you know
what else is good. Want to see good hypotist. There's this freak,
I was up at 3:00 in the morning one night, I turned on Praise the Lord. They
had this freak and his thing is people laugh hysterically when he
touches them. And they've got all these born again Christians in
their God stretch pants and rolling in the floor laughing hysterically. He
fills them with the spirit. He goes, these are not drunk as you suppose,
but as it's
written by the prophet xxxxx and instead of just falling over they
just laugh hysterically.
Audience: I almost called you.
Ross: Don't call me at that hour.
Audience: Laughs I thought about it
Ross: Well, don't don't don't. Well listen to me, listen. Robert
Shuler is a master tone of control. Robert Shuler will go he'll talk
in a regular voice and then he'll pause, and then he'll go, and then the Lord
acted. He's really good. Shuler is an incredible. I sat there one day,
an NLP buddy of mine we're all writing down everything that he was doing you
know. I actually saw one guy doing submodalities where he didn't know what
he was doing but some women said it's like the problems are just
right in front of you and then God comes along and moves them away.
He was, it was like the power of God wipes it out. He goes yeah.
But then he said, but sometimes they come right back.
Audience: Laughs
Ross: It didn't know what he was doing. I'm convinced he didn't know.
But the fact of the matter is people do this stuff, you'll always going
to do it, you can't not do it. If that being the case, do it with the
libidinous in a way where you get what you want and hopefully the other
person is happy too. Come out of trance. You were like, she's looking at
me like, ok, if you need to go outside and shake yourself, it's very
distracting.
It's like having a basset hound sit there and xxxxx just chill.
Find a way to orderly do that. So do you all see, we'll try this
exercise again tomorrow. I want you to sleep on it. And we'll try
it again tomorrow with a different set of partners but do you understand
the power of it.
Audience: Yes
Ross: Alright. Let's move on to weasel phrase review. One of the
things I love about these tools is how they interlock and if you pay
attention you'll see that I'm only using these tools all the time.
And weasel phrases in particular I used virtually in every pattern
that I do all the time. Because they're so slimy. In fact, when I
was dealing with this producer, and I had lunch with her, I was going to
test something. I tested something, I said something along the lines of, I
said, so if I were to say to you and then I said something and she didn't like
it. I could tell, I got a strong negative response. She said well I
really don't like at all, that's right, that's why I said if I were to
say to you. Because I didn't really say it. Did I. She went ah, no.
See. So I'm always weaseling around. And weasel phrases allow
you to introduce these things and then step back from them if you have
to. Weasel phrases, there's a chapter in the workbook on weasel phrases.
What weasel phrases let you do is embedd commands, they set up the
embedded command, they let you step back from something that may offend
somebody, they let you get into topics that might otherwise be over
sensitive, you know. Instead of saying what's important to you in a
relationship, I'll go so if I were to say to you what's important to you
in a relationship, what might your answer be. It's all hypothetical
theoretical, it's not like we're really talking about it and you're
spilling your guts and telling me everything I need to make you feel
like you madly in love with me, am I. Do you understand? I want to
teach you, the basic principle here is you want to soften what you do.
You always want to feel that the fish doesn't feel the tug on the line.
And weasel patterns, the weasel phrases are like the grease that lets
you slip other things in.
Audience: Laughs
Ross: And when you think about things slipping in, well, it's like
melted chocolate running all through your body. That's right. What
was that I missed the comment. Ok, no comment. So if I were to say
to you, does anyone want to give me an example of how we could use
that weasel phrase, if I were to say to you. Any brave student.
Anyone.
Audience: A friend of mine, Johnny said, want to what you said, I
can't believe what Johnny said. If I were to say to you what Johnny
said that this guy had the biggest dick in the world, can you believe
that Johnny said some shit like that. I wouldn't, I don't know.
Ross: Well you're using quotes then.
Audience: That won't work
Ross: It might. Why, I don't know why would you want to talk about
the fact that someone else has a big dick but
Audience: Laughs
Ross: It doesn't quite do it for me.
Audience: I didn't see it
Ross: Does anyone else want to try if I were to say to you. Yes,
the brave and the trumpet, Nicky, Nicky, go ahead Nick.
Nicky: Well for an example if a guy were to come up to you, you know,
at a bar or a party or whatever and think he seem cool in picking you
up, going hey baby, what's your sign, hands off please, but if he came
up to you and said hey, Nicky, listen if I, supposing I were to come
up to you and say, hey, what's your sign, that might really be a turn
off. So I'd never say that to you, you know, I would say,
Ross: Right
Nicky: And so what he's done is really soften the blow. Because you know
the first thing is when ladies hear a particular line it's like oh, come
on, you know. So if you soften the blow or like I would never say
that to you.
Ross: That's good. And you get to see what the response is and in
fact you're quoting yourself without taking responsibility for the
quote. A politician would love this one. Ladies and Gentlemen of
America, if I were to say to you I'm going to increase taxes, I'm not
saying that, Mr. Gingrich said that. Yeah. By the way I must tell you
through my friend Shawn Morton who will probably be here tomorrow,
I met Bill Clinton's illegimate half brother. Who looks just like
slick Willy but only a little bit chubbier. And you wouldn't believe
the stories this guy told.
Audience: I bet he's got some great ones.
Ross: Go ahead Bruce.
Bruce: In that case, it's also possible that if she really was
an astrology, xxxxx
Ross: Exactly, xxxxx Or you'll say something like let's say you feel
your particular line is a little corny, you could say, if I were to
say to you, you're a shining example of genetic perfection, would you
laugh and think it's clever or would you just sneer and walk away.
And they'd said I just sneer and walk away, you'll go that's why you
need a much more sincere and sensitive approach. I just wanted to
meet you, my name is Ross.
Nicky: Right. It is. It's the perfect weasel phrase. And I mean
not only to save yourself from a potentially embarrassing situation
but it's another way to figure out, you know, what you can say
Ross: Right, you can test to see what. So you know if you look at
a girl you say you know, at this point in the evening if I were to
say to you, I'd like to do you like a plate of pudding.
Audience: Laughs
Ross: And as you see this. But if you go, she goes xxxx in fact
when I did this with this producer she didn't like I said, of
course, and that's why I would never say that.
Audience: Laughs
Ross: I didn't use the pudding thing. It was another example. I
said for me you need a much more direct and sincere approach.
Nicky: Right, it allows you to get yourself out of
Ross: You can step around anything with this. It's like the punches
never touch you because they slide off the grease.
Nicky: xxxxxx what would you do if xxxxxx
Ross: Yeah, presupposing that he wasn't singing out of tune.
Audience: Laughs
Ross: Ok. I love this one. How surprised would you be to. How
surprised would you be to find yourself falling madly in love with me.
What's the presupposition.
Nicky: You are falling in love
Ross: Yeah, it's not whether you are or you aren't but are you going
to be surprised by the fact. We'll get into presuppositions a little
bit later. But some weasel phrases allow you set up quotes, they
allow you to set up presuppositions, have you ever, of course we know
my favorite weasel phrase. Why is have you ever so powerful? It
sounds like a question but in fact it's not a question at all. It's
a command to stop, go inside, remember the experience of whatever
the person is describing. So if I were to say to you Nicky, have you
ever felt the sense of absolute, you know, like maybe as you start
to look carefully, you really listen. And you were to allow the
warmth of that voice to penetrate your thoughts, and spread all through
you. Well, you know, if I were to say to you have you ever experienced
that, gee, never mind, I wouldn't say it. Ok, have you ever. It's
too bad you can't. I'm going to show you a special pattern coming up
to blow your mind. I call it a ratchet pattern using it's too bad you
can't. It's too bad you can't find yourself thinking those certain
thoughts. Notice what's it like, notice what it's like. I use this
one for moving pictures around. Instead of saying, Debbie put that picture
of me right in that place where you picture someone who you want to have
sex with. I'll say, instead I'll say notice what it's like, I'll say
notice what it's like as a picture of me sneaks itself, powers itself
right into that location. Do you see what I'm saying. Do you get it.
Notice what it's like. That presupposes it that it's going to happen.
Does that make sense?
Audience: Yes
Ross: You look at me with blank stares. Does it make sense?
Audience: Yes
Nicky: Do it again Paul please
Ross: So notice what it's like as the warmth of that voice just starts
to move in a certain direction. Yeah. And as it continues to move
down it intensifies in that warmth. Now if you were to allow a color
that describes that feeling to pop into your mind, what color might you
tell me it is. And as that maroon just gets brighter and brighter and
begins to swirl all around and up and down and through you. I don't
want to suggest that you might be getting to have certain images, but
notice what it's like is an image of me, just. Well, never mind. I
wouldn't say any of that. Yeah, that's right and chocolate. And you
know Nicky you may think those thoughts are above me but really I
think they are below me.
Audience: Laughs
Ross: Because you're coming from a much deeper place. In your mind.
Ok. So, notice what it's like, it's too bad you can't, do you see all
of those? And even though she's cooperating and knows what I'm doing
it still has an effect doesn't it. As you go more inside. Feel that
intensifying. Yeah. It's a penetrating thing. Do you get the thrust
of what I'm saying?
Audience: Laughs
Nicky: I totally get the thrust as well as xxxxxx
Ross: Good, shut up now. Ok, now listen. I want to show you a
pattern that I call a ratchet pattern. And you know you might think
those thoughts are hard on me but
Audience: Laughs
Ross: This is creating an opening, no, let's stop. What
Nicky: xxxx
Ross: No, no, we're off this. Listen, listen, listen. I want to show
you a ratchet pattern. This pattern can be used for, primarily I use
this pattern for sexual acceleration. I used this pattern on a real
witch who works at the learning annex. She use to give me grief whenever
she called me to give me my class assignments. And the first time she
talked to me she said, look, I know what you do, so don't even try
your bullshit on me.
Audience: Laughs
Ross: Hey, I didn't even flinch. Remember the layer of grease that
surrounds me. So here's what I said. I said, here's what I said, I
said you're absolutely right. I said you know what I do and nothing
I can try would work. It's useless. There's nothing I could say that
would cause you to go inside and absolutely convince yourself that you
want to be seduced. But if you could, imagine exactly what the right
words would have to be and hear me saying them on the inside in
exactly the right voice, in the exactly right tonality, that sure would
feel great doesn't it. And as that's happening it's too bad you can't
feel the warmth of that voice beginning to heat up into a fire and
your heart beginning to pound with the pleasure of that but if you
could and also feel that heat beginning to well drop down to certain
places, well, and she goes, how old are you?
Audience: Laughs
Ross: So the ratchet pattern basically works by saying, by basically
saying it's too bad you can't and then you name what you want them
to experience and then you say but if you could. And as that's
happening and you keep jacking them up and up and up with every
cycle of it's too bad you can't, you keep giving a greater and greater
description so by the time you're finished, they're fainting. Do you
get it? And you don't have to use it with sexual arousal, you can use
it, yet say to me, let's say I'm not suggestible, hypnosis doesn't
work, ok. That's right. It's too bad you can't enter a state of
total suggestibility. But if you could and find that your entire
world narrows down so everything you hear and see is what's right in
front of you. And as that's happening, and you allow my voice to
totally penetrate your thoughts, it's too bad you can't find yourself
having certain ideas. But if you could, ok, so here's the point.
You just keep doing it, and you keep ratching up, it's never enough
when you feel that good. Is it? Do you get my point. I want to
stop playing up here because you guys, I understand you. So look,
so let me show you how the pattern works. The pattern works like this.
The first thing you do. Let's handle the thing she says you'll never
hear this if you do the rest of these patterns right but let's say she
said, I'm just not attracted to you. Ok. The first thing I would say is
you're right I state the agreement. Why am I stating agreement?
Audience: To get out of the way
Ross: Right I'm stepping out of the way of it by going along with
it. So state your agreement, you're right. And it's too bad you can't
find yourself becoming more attractive, more attracted. I'll say, it's
too bad you can't. And then fill in the blank, blank and the blank
would be whatever state or process of feeling that you want them to
have. You're right, it's too bad you can't feel incredibly horny. It's
too bad, you can't what else, what other commands would you like to give
her, what else.
Audience: Fall in love now.
Ross: It's too bad you can't fall in love now. Let's name some, guys.
Get, feel horny, feel obsessed, fall in love now. So, ok, so you will
say something like this and yeah she says you know I just, I just really
take my time, it takes months for me to fall for a guy. I go well
you're right. It's too bad you can't fall in love immediately and allow
that to happen but if you could and then you start to give me more
commands that feed into this. But if you could and then you start to
give me more commands. But if you could and also, but if you could and
also feel that growing openness in your heart, you know that warmth of
opening your heart completely to someone you realize absolutely right
for you. And you feel that irresistible desire to give yourself to this
incredible person. Do you get it? But if you could and then you just
give commands that accelerate your state. But if you could and as that's
happening if you could also and then give more commands to accelerate
it even more. Get it? And then you'd say that should would feel great
don't you. You could use this to virtually defeat anything. Any kind
of resistance, this will crush all resistance. It sure would feel
great. Doesn't it or don't you, it doesn't matter. Either way will
work. I like don't you. That sure would feel great don't you because
then they have to go yes. Yeah, use don't you. And then you, let's
say you want to continue on. And then you say and it's too bad you
can't and accelerate it even more and go right through the cycle again.
Keep running them through the cycle until they're slipping in what
they're dripping.
Audience: Laughs
Ross: Ok, do you see how you'd run through the cycle again and keep
running it and running it. She's going men are such pigs. Oink,
And running it and running it. Do you get it? It flow hitting, boom,
boom, boom. So, here's what I want you to do. I want you to think
of one of the most common objections you heard a woman say in terms of
saying I can't do this. Or I just don't this. So think, stop a minute,
take a minute to write down what's one the most common objections you
hear a woman say. For men, I can't commit or whatever. Ok. No, no.
listen to me it's got to be objections framed in the words I can't or
I don't. Ok. What Bruce. Yeah, write it down. Do you understand
what I'm asking you to do. Some people are giving me blank looks.
Who does not understand? I want you to write down one of the most
common objections you hear from women where they say I don't fall in
love quickly. Or I'm not attracted to you. Write down an objection
that is framed in the negative. Yes.
Audience: I can't cheat on my husband or boyfriend
Ross: Good, good. Write that down.
Audience: Laughs
Ross: They always do. By the way guys, what do you think, you're getting
your money's worth?
Audience: Yeah, hell yes
Ross: We haven't even gone through the week end yet, it's just the
introductory evening.
Audience: One real common one is I don't go to bed on the first date.
Ross: Oh, write it down.
Audience: I hear that one all the time.
Ross: What.
Audience: It's something wrong with xxxxxx
Audience: Laughs
Ross: He don't like hearing it.
Nicky: Well, I know you don't like hearing it, you know
Ross: It's like a man thing, I can't commit.
Nicky: xxxx I'm just not ready for a relationship right now.
Ross: But of course you're not but if you could
Nicky: Right
Ross: But if you could feel that readiness growing. As that desire
to really be with somebody who fills all the needs that are so
important you haven't even dared whispering them to yourself. Yeah,
of course. Bull shit, it doesn't mean anything. Come on, come up
with some. What do you come up, name some of the things you hear
like what?
Audience: I don't do threesomes
Ross: I don't do
Audience: Laughs
Ross: Yes, Lou.
Lou: I'm not into that kinky shit.
Audience: Laughs
Ross: Have you guys been doing the same girls?
Audience: Laughs I don't sleep with a guy so soon
Ross: I don't sleep with a guy so soon.
Audience: xxx threesome pattern yet
(laughs)
Ross: Have you ever experienced the love that a man can share with
more than one woman? Yes
Audience: I don't have the time
Ross: I don't have the time
Audience: Or I'm really busy
Ross: How about I can't. Or it won't work, or whatever or it won't
or it's just not happening. Alright, ok, so stop guys. So look up
here. Let's say I don't do threesomes. I would frame that, you know
how I would turn that around, I would say well of course, you don't
want to do threesomes. But if you could and really begin to feel
your imagination going on disengage to the point to where, I would
say, let me back up, I would go, of course, you don't want to but
if you could, maybe to the point where you know how like when you're
on vacation and you find yourself giving yourself new permission,
permission to do all sorts of wild ideas and things you normally
wouldn't even talk about and you feel that desire to do new things
growing. As that's happening, blah blah, I would use something
like that. I am very tired right now but I would take the pattern
and put it through that. Do you understand? I am not into that
kinky shit. Well, of course, you're not but if you could feel that urge
to do something kinky growing and as that urge continues to expand,
maybe you begin to have certain fantasies. You know, like how you see
someone, some movie star or someone and you just imagine what it would
be like to do anything you want with that person and how all your
friends would admire the fact that you spent that wild night. And as
you find those images of you and me fitting to right to that place in
your mind, it's too bad you can't feel that urge beginning to heat
up through your body like a fire racing through a forest. But if you
could
Audience: Laughs
Ross: You see. I just think what would be the opposite of that that
would tie into her fantasy? I'm going to patent that one. Yeah.
Audience: Another xxxx to that, you might say something about well if you
could
enjoy those feelings, imagine what it would be like to have, not just
one, but two people totally concentrating on your pleasure and totally
go deep within and see what it's like.
Ross: That's pretty good too Bruce.
Bruce: In other words, that way it switches her thoughts
Ross: But if you could, but we're not talking about that pattern. We're
talking about it's too bad you can't, but we are doing that. We're
saying it's too bad you can't, but if you could. It's too bad you can't
blah blah blah blah but if you could. We are using if you could but we're
using it a little bit later. We're pushing them from they're not and
then engage you could. And engaging the not and then engaging the could.
Get it. I like to use this as a sexual accelerator pattern. You know,
let's say, let's use for the friends and the lovers pattern. I know that
we've been friends for a long time, I know you just can't find it inside
of you to be attracted to me but if you could blah blah blah and
describe what that would feel like and what you'd be picturing. See.
I knew you can't find that attraction growing but if you could, maybe to
the point to where you just begin to imagine what it would be like to
have every desire and fantasy fulfilled and even more, beyond anything
you even dare to allow yourself to think about and as that's happening
if you could feel the pleasure and excitement of that racing through
your body to the point where any, do you understand what I'm saying.
Get the idea? Too bad you can't but if you could and as that's
happening but if you could, yes.
Audience: You ask her for a date and she said it's not going to
happen.
Ross: It's not going to happen
Audience: Right
Ross: Well, you might, I would use confusion with that. I would
go, well that's the difference between me. Because
Audience: Laughs
Ross: Because there's what you know you know and then there's what
you know, but you don't know you know it. And when what you know, but
you don't know you know becomes what you know you know, you just start
to think things differently, you know. I'd do a confusion pattern.
Alright, say how do you know. I know, You go as you are knowing that
are you seeing a picture maybe. No, no, I'll go how do you know, go
how do you know that you don't want to as you are knowing that you
don't want to are you seeing a picture of not wanting to. And notice
what it's like as that picture smalls itself only as fast as the
picture of you and me fulfilling your wildest fantasies sneaks itself,
powers itself, right into it's place and locks itself down there. Like
a person being chained to a bed. Ready for helpless pleasure all
night long. Aren't you? Get it. Ok, we're going to go through all
these patterns in detail during the course of the weekend, I'm just
giving you an overview here. What's the basic principle. Stop, think
big frame. The basic principle is if someone use anything that you're
offered, if someone offers you something don't resist, take it, move
with it and use the force of that against the opponent. Do you
understand? Never, never ask why. Why don't you want to. Because
that forces her deeper into her objection. Nicky, object to something
I say. Let's say you don't want to do something, anything I don't care.
Say, I don't want to go to work, whatever
Nicky: I don't, Paul, I never kiss on the first date,
Ross: Why not?
Nicky: Because, asshole, I said I'm not.
Ross: Why not?
Nicky: Because I said so.
Ross: Why
Nicky: Because I never kiss on the first date.
Ross: But that's not good enough, why, why don't you
Nicky: Because I'm not attracted to you, damn it.
Ross: See
Nicky and Audience: Laughs
Ross: Exactly. It forces her to lie. You know, it forces her to
go
Audience: Laughs
Nicky: That was very good
Ross: And true. See she just admitted it.
Nicky: Yes
Ross: Listen. It forces her deeper into the objection. If you ask
why
Nicky: You made me defensive and very uncomfortable
Ross: It just forces someone deeper into the objection as they come up
with the reasons why they don't want to do it. If you ask yourself
reasons why you do something, you just come up with reasons to keep
doing it, you'll stay stuck. That is the structure of a defunct. Why
do I always screw up. You make images in your mind of why you did it,
you see pictures of yourself screwing up and then what happens is when
it comes to deem that situation again, what does your brain replay?
What's you been reviewing. So you make the mistake all over again.
And you're stuck. So don't, never, ever ask someone why, unless it's
presupposing. Here's what I did, I say this, something else I
said to this producer I'm working on her at all angles, I said you know,
I said, I said you know, after you have fallen for me completely and
you've discovered just how wonderful that feels, I am wondering if you'll
be willing to share with me what exactly was it about me that caused you
to come to that conclusion? So alot of women say it's my sense of humor.
I do make you laugh don't I? So in a sense that's asking why but it's
presupposing the outcome I want, you know, I didn't say after we've
gone out and you found me to be an absolute disgusting boring clown
and discovered how horrible you feel being with me, I am wondering if
you'll be willing to scream at me what exactly it was to cause you to
think that.
Audience: Laughs
Ross: Be careful. So many people use negative presuppositions that
people pick up on it. I don't suppose you'd want to go out with me,
would you. I guess you're not doing anything better Saturday night.
yuck, yuck.