43 Effective Word Choice
Introductory Project
Write a check mark beside the sentence in each pair that makes more effective use of words.
1. I flipped out when Faye broke our date. __________
I got very angry when Faye broke our date. __________
2. Doctors as dedicated as Dr. Curtin are few and far between. _________
Doctors as dedicated as Dr. Curtin are rare. __________
3. Yesterday I ascertained that Elena and Wes broke up. __________
Yesterday I found out that Elena and Wes broke up. __________
Now see if you can circle the correct number in each case:
Pair (1, 2, 3) contains a sentence with slang.
Pair (1, 2, 3) contains a sentence with a cliché.
Pair (1, 2, 3) contains a sentence with a pretentious word.
Answers are on page 729.
Choose your words carefully when you write. Always take the time to think about your word choices rather than simply using the first word that comes to mind. You want to develop the habit of selecting words that are appropriate and exact for your purposes. One way you can show sensitivity to language is by avoiding slang, clichés, and pretentious words.
Slang
We often use slang expressions when we talk because they are so vivid and colorful. However, slang is usually out of place in formal writing. Here are some examples of slang expressions:
My girlfriend got straight with me by saying she wanted to see other men.
Rick spent all Saturday messing around with his stereo.
My boss keeps riding me about coming to work late.
The tires on the Corvette make the car look like something else.
The crowd was psyched up when the game began.
Slang expressions have a number of drawbacks: they go out of date quickly, they become tiresome if used excessively in writing, and they may communicate clearly to some readers but not to others. Also, the use of slang can be a way of evading the specific details that are often needed to make one's meaning clear in writing. For example, in “The tires on the Corvette make the car look like something else,” the writer has not provided the specific details about the tires necessary for us to understand the statement clearly. In general, then, you should avoid slang in your writing. If you are in doubt about whether an expression is slang, it may help to check a recently published hardbound dictionary.
Activity
Rewrite the following sentences, replacing the italicized slang words with more formal ones.
Example The movie was a real bomb, so we cut out early.
1. My roommate told me he was going to quit school and hit the road, but later he admitted he was just messing with my mind.
2. The car was a steal until the owner jacked up the price.
3. If the instructor stops hassling me, I am going to get my act together in the course.
Clichés
A cliché is an expression that has been worn out through constant use. Some typical clichés are listed below:
Clichés
all work and no play saw the light
at a loss for words short but sweet
better late than never sigh of relief
drop in the bucket singing the blues
easier said than done taking a big chance
had a hard time of it time and time again
in the nick of time too close for comfort
in this day and age too little, too late
it dawned on me took a turn for the worse
it goes without saying under the weather
last but not least where he (she) is coming from
make ends meet word to the wise
on top of the world work like a dog
sad but true
Clichés are common in speech but make your writing seem tired and stale. Also, clichés—like slang—are often a way of evading the specific details that you must work to provide in your writing. You should, then, avoid clichés and try to express your meaning in fresh, original ways.
Activity
Underline the cliché in each of the following sentences. Then substitute specific, fresh words for the trite expression.
Example I passed the test by the skin of my teeth.
1. Hal decided not to eat anything because he was feeling under the weather.
2. Judy doesn't make any bones about her ambition.
3. I met with my instructor to try to iron out the problems in my paper.
Pretentious Words
Some people feel they can improve their writing by using fancy, elevated words rather than simple, natural words. They use artificial and stilted language that more often obscures their meaning than communicates it clearly.
Here are some unnatural-sounding sentences:
I comprehended her statement.
While partaking of our morning meal, we engaged in an animated conversation.
I am a stranger to excessive financial sums.
Law enforcement officers directed traffic when the lights malfunctioned.
The same thoughts can be expressed more clearly and effectively by using plain, natural language, as below:
I understood what she said.
While eating breakfast, we had a lively talk.
I have never had much money.
Police officers directed traffic when the lights stopped working.
Activity
Cross out the pretentious words in each sentence. Then substitute clear, simple language for the artificial words.
Example The manager reproached me for my tardiness.
1. One of Colleen's objectives in life is to accomplish a large family.
2. Upon entering our residence, we detected smoke in the atmosphere.
3. I am not apprehensive about the test, which encompasses five chapters of the book.
Review Test
Certain words are italicized in the following sentences. In the space provided, identify the words as slang (S), clichés (C), or pretentious words (PW). Then rewrite the sentences, replacing the words with more effective diction.
__________ 1. We're psyched for tonight's concert, which is going to be totally awesome.
__________ 2. Getting good grades in college is sometimes easier said than done.
__________ 3. I availed myself of the chance to participate in the computer course.
__________ 4. The victims of the car accident were shaken but none the worse for wear.
__________ 5. My roommate pulled an all-nighter and almost conked out during the exam.
__________ 6. Be sure to deposit your trash in the appropriate receptacle.
__________ 7. Fred has to work like a dog in his advanced math class.
__________ 8. My sister's constant criticism drives me up the wall.
__________ 9. Everyone in our family congregates at Miriam's house for the annual Thanksgiving repast.
__________ 10. Carlos totally lost it when the clerk told him that she didn't have any blue shirts in his size.
tore torn tearing
formidable (fôr2 mi d@ b@l)
1. feared or dreaded
2. extremely difficult
formidably formidability
Several formidable obstacles stand between Matt and his goal.
The movie was terrible, so we left early.
I barely passed the test.
The manager criticized me for being late.