Recipes For Romance
After an enjoyable, laid-back lunch at the loft where Anne and Richard played host to Lizzy, William, Anton and Todd, the group split up into two and wandered into separate parts of the building. Richard, Anton and William headed for the office to look at Richard's newly acquired computer toy. He'd mentioned it over lunch and Anton expressed a desire to see it, as did William. Anne and Lizzy, meanwhile, headed for the lounge so that Lizzy could help Anne finish off her latest baby sweater. Todd made a pot of chai and sat down with them to talk.
"This is so cute," Lizzy smiled as she held up the fuzzy pale yellow garment. "So what are you two doing for Valentine's Day?" Anne and Todd exchanged a glance and Anne nearly spat out her tea. "Let me rephrase that. What are doing for Valentine's Day with your respective significant others?"
"Well, I don't know about Todd, but Ricky and I are spending a quiet evening at home," Anne replied. "As you know, I totally hate Valentine's Day, but Ricky is such a wild-eyed romantic, he wants to go all out and I let him have his way. He always buys me roses and gives Todd the night off so he can cook dinner himself. It's always something elaborate and decadent and it always starts with oysters and is served with lots of wine and champagne."
"He uses every plate, pot and pan in the house. It takes me an hour to unload the dishwasher the following morning," Todd volunteered. Annie glared at him, but Lizzy ignored the tease, eager for more details.
"And the after dinner activities?"
"Well, we usually retire to the bedroom right after dinner. We each slip into something comfortable--I refuse to let Ricky waste money on a Valentine's Day gift, but he always does anyway, so I buy something red and lacy and skimpy as his treat--and then he--."
"Excuse me? You buy him something red and lacy and skimpy every year?" Todd gasped. "I wish you'd told me that sooner! I would have borrowed something from him rather than plunking down a hundred thirty bucks for something for that benefit party."
Annie smacked Todd on the arm.
"What's the matter with you? I'm not talking about buying lingerie for Ricky, I'm talking about lingerie for me!"
"So your present to Richard is the sight of you in new lingerie?" Lizzy asked doubtfully.
"Hey, he's happy with the arrangement. He hates having to choose lingerie for me on his own," Anne said defensively.
"Uh huh," Lizzy and Todd said in unison.
"Anyway, I always buy him pajamas, too."
"You really know how to spoil a man, Annie," Lizzy tittered.
"That's `the' man, Lizzy. She's only had the one," Todd corrected. "I've known more men than she has."
"Yes, we already know that! And I'm talking about silk pants and a robe for my man," Anne explained through gritted teeth. "He looks fabulous in them, as you might well imagine."
"I can well imagine," Todd said, fanning himself.
"Me, too," Lizzy said as she mimicked the gesture. "Go on."
"We change, curl up on the bed and Ricky reads me love stories or poetry and feeds me dark chocolate, after which we make mad, passionate love for several hours," Anne sighed.
"And the best part is, the following morning," Todd added. "I get up super early, walk the dogs and then serve them breakfast in bed. The poor things can barely sit up, they're so over-sated."
"And you're not?" Lizzy asked.
"Pacing," Todd said with a smug nod. Lizzy exchanged a glance with Anne.
"You hear that?" she said. "You and Richard have to pace yourselves."
"Not this year," Anne sighed. "We'll eat early, have a superb but simple dinner with no wine or champagne or chocolate. I can't fit into anything red, lacy and sexy and sex is out of the question, even if I can manage to stay awake through the first poem."
"Aww," Lizzy said and pulled Anne into a hug. "Maybe we can find something cute for you to wear."
"With that bowling ball she's got shoved up her hole?" Todd spat. "That I'd like to see."
"Well, I'm sure someone sells maternity lingerie and has something red for Valentine's Day," Lizzy assayed.
"The only things I've seen were hideous nightshirts with teddy bears and stupid sayings on the front," Annie pouted.
"Well, we'll just have to look some more," Lizzy said as she nudged Todd. "Go and get Annie's laptop. We're going to do a search. If we can't find anything maternity we'll simply try large sizes." Todd didn't move.
"Do I get to sleep in, then--that is, if you two aren't getting it on?" Anne sighed again.
"Yes, Todd, you can sleep in," Anne pouted.
"No he can't!" Lizzy said insistently. "You are going to have a lovely Valentine's Day and a lovely morning after. Now move it, Todd!"
**
Downstairs, a similar discussion was taking place. Anton was extremely interested in seeing the memory stick reader Richard had bought for his computer, since he was playing to buy a new combination CD/MP-3 player for Todd and had heard about how memory sticks could be used to load music into the player. William's new laptop was also designed to take advantage of memory sticks, so he was equally intrigued.
"So you're planning to buy this for Todd as a Valentine's Day gift?" William asked. Anton nodded. "Sorry for sounding so shocked; it just never occurred to me that men gave each other Valentine's Day gifts."
"Oh, Todd and I always exchange gifts. Unlike Richard here, we're very into Valentine's Day."
William looked up at Richard in surprise.
"You're not into Valentine's Day? I would have thought you and Anne would be all over it."
"Au contraire," Anton said as he eyed William's hair closely. "Mind if I fuss with this a bit? You're positively scruffy around the ears. William exchanged a glance with Richard and then shrugged. "I can't abide messy ears," Anton said. "I'll be right back."
"The mad clipper strikes again," Richard smiled. "You were wise to say yes right away, by the way, or else he'd fuss and cluck and hover till he drove you crazy. When Anton Georgescu wants to cut your hair, let him."
"But--."
"It's his profession as well as his hobby, William. Let him cut your hair. And don't offer to pay him; he'll consider it an insult. If you want to do something for him in return, do what Lizzy occasionally does; give him and Todd a pair of theater tickets. Annie and I like to give him and Todd an occasional night out on the town or the use of our country place for a weekend or two. For a trim, I'd say a good bottle of brandy. He lets things like that slip under his radar."
"Got it," William said as Anton returned with the implements of his trade. He wrapped a protective drape over William's shoulders and then stepped back to assess him.
"Do you like those sideburns long like that? I think they're terrific," Anton said, answering his own question before William could speak. He stepped behind William, told him what he was going to do, and when William nodded his assent, he began lightly spritzing his hair with water.
"So you aren't into Valentine's Day?" William asked, attempting to alleviate his self-consciousness by talking.
"Neither of us is," Richard smiled. "Annie and I both think that Valentine's Day is a crass, overblown commercial come-on designed to boost sales of sugar, chocolate, greeting cards and flowers. Maybe some people need to be reminded that they love someone; Annie and I aren't among them."
"You two could use that as your official day of abstinence in protest," Anton quipped.
"Well, I might, but in spite of what she says out loud, Annie really loves the romantic aspects of the day and she'd kill me if I didn't make a fuss over her. So I do the typical guy thing and buy her over-priced roses and give Todd the night off so I can cook Annie a fabulous dinner with all the trimmings. I also ply her with wine and champagne to make her a little tipsy; Annie is marvelous when she's tipsy. Then we adjourn to the bedroom and I read her love poetry while gorging her with chocolate, but not so much that she can't indulge in hours of intense lovemaking afterward." Anton and William both frowned at Richard. "Hey, I admit it; I'm basically in it for the sex. Annie always wears something red and sexy as hell and she goes all out to please me. That's more than worth any trouble I have to go through to make the night special for her."
"What are you doing this year?" Anton asked as he carefully trimmed the fringe around William's left ear. "You obviously can't wine her and dine her, much less engage in strenuous lovemaking at this stage of her pregnancy."
"I know," Richard sighed. "This year will be different. Annie's off alcohol, oysters, or anything fried, and she suddenly can't tolerate chocolate, so we'll be having a rather simple, straightforward meal. I'll read her poetry but I seriously doubt that there's anything red and sexy on the horizon. Hell, Annie will probably fall asleep before I'm halfway through one sonnet and sex is out of the question, anyway."
"So buy her lots of roses and give her a good cuddle. Women need a lot of reassurance in the late stages of pregnancy," Anton said. "When Todd's sister was in her ninth month she was absolutely miserable. Todd's brother-in-law behaved like a loutish pig and she's never forgiven him for it. Come to think of it, neither has Todd. You should spare no effort to reassure Anne that she's still the beautiful, dazzling creature you fell in love with."
"I think that's a wonderful idea," Richard said with a fleeting smile. "Not that she's likely to believe me at this stage."
"I'm with Anton," William said. "It's well worth trying."
"All right, I'm convinced. I just have to figure out how to make her feel special without chocolate, wine, oysters and seven of the top ten things she likes to do in bed." William and Anton looked up. "What?"
**
"I have an even better idea!" Lizzy announced without even booting up the computer. "Todd, remember that friend of yours who altered that gown for me that time? What's her name?"
"Cynthia? What about her?" Todd asked.
"If I was to run up to 40th Street and find a couple of yards of red silk--."
"Better get the whole bolt," Annie said dully.
"Do you think she would be willing to run up a simple spaghetti-strapped--?"
"Tent."
"Annie!" Lizzy cried. "Todd, give her a call."
"Well, if all you want is a simple sheath, I can do that myself," Todd replied. "Bess has a machine at her place. I can run up something for her in no time."
"You can sew? Why did send me to Cynthia, then?" Lizzy demanded.
"Well, I can sew, yes, but you were talking about altering a bias-cut femme fatale designer gown for a big event and I was so not going to touch that. Cynthia's a pro. Tents I can handle, though."
"I'll look like a sausage in a red casing."
"Annie!" Todd and Lizzy groaned.
**
"And find her a really good present," William said as his eyes rolled upward. Anton was toying with the curl that inevitably fell over his brow and caused women to sigh. "I thought you were just trimming around my ears," he said worriedly.
"Relax, Samson," Richard smiled. "He won't cut off anything of vital importance."
"Todd would have my ass in a sling if I ruined your forelock," Anton chuckled, "although it would make a good Valentine's Day gift." William's eyes went wide and Richard bit the inside of his cheek to prevent himself from laughing. He turned and looked away from the two men.
"As for Annie's gift, that's already been taken care of. I have an artist friend who works in glass. I commission him to make something for Annie every year--a hand-blown heart. She's got one for each year of our marriage."
"That's sweet," Anton said as he trimmed tiny bits of hair here and there from William's coif, bringing order to the unruly mass.
"Maybe you should give her something else this year," William said pensively. "In addition to the heart; something she's not expecting. It would be a real surprise, something out of your regular routine."
"Like what?" Richard asked. William shrugged.
"I suppose lingerie is out of the question," he said. Richard winced.
"I don't think it'd go over well right now. Annie's in no mood to be reminded of her distended figure."
"Oh, but you'd be looking ahead to when she could wear it for you," Anton suggested.
"And it'd be hanging around her neck like an albatross until she fit into it. I don't want to put any pressure on her."
"True enough, Richard," William said. "I hadn't considered that. How about a fun gift?"
"If it's a fun gift you want, go and speak to Todd. His idea of an appropriate Valentine's Day gift is a pair of socks."
"Socks?" Richard and William exclaimed. Anton nodded curtly.
"Last year I came home to find him wearing nothing but a pair that read, `FUCK MY SOCKS OFF' on the back of the calf." William and Richard burst into laughter. "I kid you not. The year before that he wore a pair of hideous glow-in-the-dark boxers." Anton shuddered dramatically and continued to comb and snip.
"How do you two celebrate Valentine's Day--Todd's taste in attire aside?" William asked.
"Well, we love Valentine's Day. It's kind of an anniversary for us so we go all out to make it special. I usually bring home a dozen roses and take Todd out to dinner at a very posh restaurant for a completely decadent dining experience and then take him home for a romantic night. If Todd had his way we'd probably go out dancing or something, but I prefer for the night to be about just us."
"Pardon me for asking," William said, "but there's something I've always been curious about."
"Oh captain, my captain!" Richard gushed. "Does Lizzy know about this?"
William shot him a dirty look, but Anton merely waited for the question.
"From what little I've seen of the two of you together, you and Todd seem as different as night and day. I've always wondered what you two see in each other."
Anton smiled warmly.
"There's been many an occasion when I've wondered that myself." He smiled and sat down for a minute to think. "We're an odd pairing, I grant you that. But we love each other and it works," he said with a small shrug. William smiled; love, whatever way, shape or form it took, was a precious thing in his book and he was glad to see his friends happy.
"How did you two meet?"
"Yes," Richard said as he drew his seat closer. "I've heard Todd's version of the story. I'm kind of interested in hearing your perspective."
"Well, we met on Valentine's Day seven years ago. Todd was still in catering then, and I attended a party he was working." Anton looked at Richard. "I have no idea what he told you about the occasion."
"He said he spotted you across a crowded room and declared you his best chance of getting laid that night."
"I figured as much. He does so love to exaggerate," Anton said, shaking his head. "We certainly had no liaison that night. We never even spoke to one another. Todd was such a wild young thing I was a bit intimidated by his behavior."
"Was?" Richard and William echoed. But lost in memory, Anton didn't hear.
"His hair was much, much longer then and he wore it in a braided ponytail that attracted a bit of attention wherever he went. He certainly caught my attention as soon as I entered the room. Our eyes met and we were instantly smitten, however, he spent the next hour shamelessly flirting with the hostess and I left the party disappointed. He showed up at the salon a few days later for a haircut. He came in at the end of the day and told me he was looking to change his image. I cut off his ponytail and he gave it to me as a gift. I invited him out for coffee afterwards and the rest is his story."
"I'm missing something here," Richard said. "You two were smitten and yet he spent the evening flirting with someone else?" Anton smiled.
"I soon learned that he'd done that purposely. He knew that the people hosting the party were friends of mine so he chatted her up to find out a few things about me. That's how he managed to find me at the salon."
"I see," Richard nodded.
"I also found out that I intrigued him as an `older man.' I suppose that if you're a perpetual adolescent like Todd you'd see a five year age gap that way."
"That's why he refers to you as `the old man'?" William asked. Anton looked surprised.
"He's never called me that--to my face, anyway. You know, I still have the ponytail." Anton rose to his feet and turned to Richard. "Let's clean you up and show off your pretty little bauble."
Richard and William switched seats after Anton carefully removed the drape. He gently shook it till all the loose hairs fell to one corner, walked over to Richard's desk, tore a sheet of paper from a legal pad and then carefully dumped the hairs out. Richard observed him curiously as William rose and crossed the room.
"So you think Annie would go for the socks?" William quipped as he studied his reflection in a wall mirror on Annie's side of the office.
"Uh, no," Richard said.
**
"Do you want darts in this thing?" Todd asked as he worked on a sketch of the nightgown for Anne.
"To get it around Charlie, you mean?"
"Annie, stop that!" Lizzy demanded. "Give it slits on the side, Todd. I want her to show lots of leg."
"All I've got is lots of baby…well, and appreciably larger breasts."
"Boobs to die for," Todd muttered as he erased a line. He looked up into the gaping stares of two surprised women. "Hey, it's not my opinion! I heard two guys say that at Dean and DeLuca the other day, honest."
"Let me get this straight," Lizzy said doubtfully. "Two men in Dean and DeLuca said that Annie had boobs to die for?"
"I haven't been in that store in months!" Annie said, momentarily distracted from her funk.
"No, no," Todd replied. "There were these two guys waiting in line at the cheese counter. One was pushing a stroller and the other apparently had a wife who was pregnant. He said that pregnancy had given her boobs to die for." Lizzy and Anne blinked at him and he shrugged helplessly. "Never mind."
Lizzy winked at Anne and smiled.
"So, Todd, how are you and Anton going to spend the big day?" she asked.
"Oh, Valentine's Day is a big thing for us. We both love it, unlike those two," he said with a nod toward Anne, "who like to pretend that it's all nothing. Believe me, they are so into Valentine's Day Anton and I once woke up in the middle of the night thinking there'd been an earthquake."
Anne laughed and threw a pillow at him.
"She asked about you, not me and Ricky," she said.
"Ah, yes! Valentine's Day is always a big thing with Anton and me. We first met on that day at a party. Our eyes met across a crowded room and the rest is history. We commemorate that night with a special celebration every year."
"Do tell," Lizzy prompted as she handed Anne the baby garment she'd been finishing off for her.
"Well, Anton likes to put on the glitz. He books a reservation at a fancy restaurant, wines and dines me and indulges my every culinary whim. Then he takes me home and indulges every other kind of whim I can come up with."
"Poor Anton," Anne smiled. "You're extremely whimsical."
"Indeed," Todd smiled.
"How does that work for gays? I mean, if the two of you go out on a date who leads? How do you--?"
"You mean who's the girl and who's the boy?" Todd said, cutting to the chase. Lizzy colored slightly as she nodded. "Don't sweat it, dear. Everyone asks. The answer is simple. It's the same for us homosexuals as it is for you hets. Some partnerships are equal, some have a subservient partner and a dominant. Anton and I are generally equal, but sometimes he likes to take the lead and spoil me."
"Do you ever take the lead?" Anne asked, thinking about her own relationship with Richard. They considered themselves equals in everything, but there were clearly times when Richard asserted his dominance. There were also times when he liked to sit back and let her run the show.
"Not in any way, shape or form you want to hear about, believe me," Todd replied.
"Don't be so sure," Lizzy said challengingly. "Annie's a doctor and I have a very open mind."
"Anton and I have a no kissing and telling policy," Todd declared.
"Wimp," Lizzy sneered.
"Go on with your story, Todd," Anne prompted.
"Well, there's not much more to tell, really. We go home, have it off, wait for you two to stop shaking the building to the foundations and then go to sleep. Thank you," Todd snorted when Anne threw another pillow at him. "Anton's a real romantic like Richard. He goes the whole nine yards: flowers, chocolates, dinner. He spares no effort and no expense. I, on the other hand, like to keep things light and fun. I always buy him something to make him smile as well as something a bit more serious. He can be such a fussy traditionalist sometimes. I mean if you can't give the man you love a latex thong on Valentine's Day, when can you do it, I ask?"
"Todd!" Lizzy coughed, spluttering her tea across her lap. Annie handed her a napkin.
"You gave Anton--Anton--a latex thong?" Annie gasped.
"Our Anton?" Lizzy echoed as she dabbed at her skirt with the napkin.
"He's not `ours,' Lizzy. You won't share William, I'm not sharing my man, either," Todd said stubbornly. Lizzy leaned over and kissed his cheek. His pout instantly faded.
"A thong? Anton?" Annie repeated.
"I could see that," Lizzy said.
"No, you can't," Todd said, lightly elbowing her.
"Hey, maybe you can help me find a present for William," Lizzy said, her eyes lighting up.
"I can't imagine William in a latex thong," Annie said with a shudder.
"I can," Lizzy and Todd said together.
"But he'd never go for that," Lizzy conceded.
"Anton did. Well, not the latex, exactly. It was--. He was rather--. Never mind. You were discussing William?" Todd said, turning to Lizzy.
"Yeah, I'm having trouble deciding what to give William for Valentine's Day. You two have seven years under your belts." Todd snorted and Lizzy winced at the unintended pun. "You know what I mean. You and Anton have nearly a decade between you and you and Richard have more than two. This will be the first time William and I are sharing Valentine's Day and I want to make it special for him."
"It'll be special for him because he's spending it with you," Anne said.
"Amen, sister," Todd concurred. "You and him, that's what it's all about. Not the presents, not the chocolate or the loot--."
"What kind of loot?" Lizzy asked.
**
"Todd can steer you to something more tasteful. He's actually very good at choosing gifts," Anton said in defense of his partner. "You see this?" He lifted his arm to reveal the beautiful cufflink on his wrist. "I collect them and Todd buys me an absolutely exquisite pair every Valentine's Day. It's only his predilection for accompanying his nicer gifts with such outlandish things as--and well, toys that you have to worry about."
"Lizzy might like toys," William said, coloring slightly as Richard looked up.
"Todd helps me find one for Annie very Christmas, come to think of it," he said, much to William's surprise. "She loves toys."
"You both seem to think that repeating a gift is a good thing," William said. "I'm trying to find the perfect Valentine's Day gift for Lizzy and I've been worried about the possibility of repeating myself."
"Originality and creativity have their place, however," Richard replied thoughtfully. "I think that's a lot of fun. That's why I liked your idea. But I know that Annie really looks forward to her heart every year, just as Anton looks forward to his cufflinks. Personally, I like the idea of having an established tradition. To me it says permanence and commitment."
"Well, my relationship with Lizzy is still somewhat new," William sighed.
"Aww, how cute," Richard said. "I haven't been in a new relationship since--well, I've just had the one," he said in a tone that conveyed both his pride and bewilderment at his good fortune.
"The right one," William smiled, "and I believe that in Lizzy I've found my `right one,' so I want our first Valentine's Day to be exceptional."
"So why don't we get Todd down here and have a consultation?" Richard said. He glanced up at Anton, who nodded and carefully removed the drape that covered his shoulders. Richard rose and went to his desk. He reached for the intercom button and as he did so he saw Anton dump the contents of the drape into his wastebasket before carefully folding it up. He then picked up the sheet of paper bearing William's snippings and carefully folded that as well. Richard smiled wryly and opened a drawer. Anton returned the smile and reached for an envelope for his precious cargo. Richard returned his attention to the intercom.
"Thank you," Anton said quietly.
"No voodoo dolls, okay?" Richard smiled. "Todd, can you come down to the office for a moment?"
**
"I'm afraid not, sweet cheeks. These women have me up to my neck in something at the minute."
"Well, come down when you can."
"I live to serve." Todd returned to the lounge and sat down. "Now, where were we?"
"We were trying to decide between one big gift and a dozen or so smaller ones," Lizzy said as she pored over the image on the laptop screen.
"What did Ricky want?" Anne asked.
"Who knows?" Todd replied with an insouciant wave. "This is bound to be more interesting."
The three dogs suddenly leapt to their feet as the elevator door opened.
"Oops," Lizzy said as she and Anne looked up expectantly. To their surprise, however, it was Bess who appeared rather than Richard.
"Hello, Bess," Annie smiled. "You missed a great lunch. Todd made fajitas."
"Oh, I'm sorry I missed it, Todd. Hello, Lizzy," the diminutive woman said. "I've been packing for my vacation and I just came up to ask for some advice. Do men like bubble bath?"
"Yes," Lizzy said unhesitatingly.
"Yes," Todd answered with equal alacrity.
"Richard doesn't have any say in the matter," Anne smiled. I like bubble bath."
"Well then, what kind should I take with me?"
"Where are you going?" Lizzy asked with great interest.
"Oh, Bess and her gentleman friend are running off to the Atlantic City for a weekend of hanky panky," Todd said.
"Hanky panky?" Lizzy asked.
"Haven't you heard the expression, `life begins at fifty'? Well, I am over that age and I've got a lot of living to do," Bess said with a wink.
"Well, don't get too frisky or you'll wear out Frank's pacemaker. Be sure to pack a recharger," Todd said. Bess merely rolled her eyes and turned to the more sympathetic attentions of the women.
"What kind of bubble bath should I bring?" she asked.
"It doesn't matter, really," Lizzy said. "If you get into the tub, he'll follow."
"True," Anne said thoughtfully. "I usually buy stuff that's lightly scented and soothing to the skin. Some bubble baths can be very harsh. In fact, I'm rather loyal to one brand and we buy it in huge bottles. I've got a few mini-bottles, though; one of those free gifts with purchase deals. You're welcome to take any of them you want. Just go on up and rummage around in the vanity cabinet on the right."
"Oh thank you," Bess said as she mounted the stairs. As soon as she was out of sight, Lizzy turned to Anne.
"Bess has a boyfriend?"
"She met him at a single seniors function," Todd sneered.
"You haven't heard about Frank? He's a lovely man," Anne said.
"Richard calls him Mr. Rogers and he and Anne seem to think they're a nice couple," Todd added.
"They are a nice couple," Anne said defensively.
"They are not a `couple,'" Todd corrected. "They're sex partners. Their whole relationship is based on sex. They're Richard and Anne thirty years from now, all hormones and primal urges."
"Ricky and I are not all hormones and primal urges," Anne cried. "We're very much in love with each other!"
"Sure you are."
Anne glared at Todd as Lizzy looked up to watch Bess descend the stairs.
"For the record, we have a very healthy sex life," she said unabashedly. "Frank is also one hell of a dancer. Thank you for the bubble bath, dear. We'll put it to very good use." She winked and turned to leave.
"You go, girl!" Lizzy cried.
"Have a great time," Anne called after her.
"Now where were we?" Lizzy said, turning back to Todd, who was busily typing away on the laptop.
"We were here," he said, passing the computer over to Lizzy.
"The Sexy Directory?" Lizzy exclaimed. "Okay...let's look at those latex thongs."
**
"I'd like to establish a tradition for us, but I don't even know how to begin establishing one," William said. Richard was typing away on his computer as William joined him.
"I've got a whole file of sites bookmarked for gift shopping," Richard said as he rose and gestured for William to sit. "Take your pick; look under `Annie' for the list." William clicked on "Favorites" and then "Annie" and pulled down a long list of sites.
"You do spoil the girl," Anton said with a whistle.
"Where do I begin, where do I begin?" William muttered. He clicked on a link at random.
**
"The Kama Sutra Earthly Delights Gift Tin?" Lizzy asked. "What's in it?" Both Anne and Todd began talking at once.
"Oh, Bess gave us one of those for our anniversary," they said and looked at each other in amusement.
"Maybe she buys them in bulk," Lizzy replied archly.
"She should," Anne smiled.
"I hope she took one to Atlantic City," Todd said. Lizzy moved the cursor to the "buy" button and clicked.
"Okay, what else?"
**
"Have you actually bought things for your wife from all of these sites?"
"Heavens, no! But I bookmark them when I find something interesting," Richard explained.
"Like a Kama Sutra Earthly Delights Gift Tin?" William asked.
"Ah, I've had that," Anton said. "Bess gave a tin to me and Todd on our anniversary."
"Yeah, me and Annie, too. We liked it a lot so I bookmarked it in case I want to buy it again, or for someone else," Richard said. William read the list of contents and smiled.
"Lizzy would love this," he said as he clicked on the "buy" button.
**
"How about something edible?" Lizzy pondered aloud.
"Like chocolate?" Anne asked.
"No, I was thinking more like caviar. William loves caviar but rarely allows himself to indulge. When we were at a party for some friends of his, I discovered his weakness."
"I thought you were his weakness," Todd said sincerely.
"He can eat her any night," Anne quipped. Lizzy's eyebrow arched and she nodded with a small smile.
"You got that right!" Lizzy said with a slight but familiar squirm. "Maybe I'll stop by that caviar shop off Madison on my way home from work, Friday night."
"You can probably get the guy who delivers caviar to your restaurant to get you some wholesale," Todd suggested. "That's what I used to do when I was in the business and needed some for an occasion. If the guy's straight, he'll be more than happy to do you the favor. Hell, if he's queer, show him a picture of William and you'll probably get it for free." Lizzy nudged Todd with her elbow, but decided to follow his advice, at least part of it.
"So what goes with the caviar," Lizzy asked, biting her lip. "I mean I know the traditional fixings, but I want this to be special."
"Well, I can remember a special occasion where--never mind," Anne said, abruptly aborting her comment. Lizzy and Todd stared at her till she capitulated. "All right. I was just remembering that one night we came home late from a party and Richard ate caviar with just a little sour cream...off my belly." Todd nearly doubled over, unsuccessfully trying to contain his laughter. "What?" Anne spat.
"Do I have to say it?"
"Go on, get it over with," Anne sighed. Todd looked up sheepishly.
"I'm sorry, hon, but you've got enough belly now to serve a family of six," he managed between laughs.
"Todd, you're terrible," Lizzy scolded, albeit smilingly. "She couldn't get more than four at a time around Charlie."
"Oh, thank you very much, Lizzy," Anne sneered.
"May I ask where you ate your caviar from?" Todd asked with barely a tinge of contrition.
"No," Anne said flatly.
"What if I beg?"
"Well, I won't have to worry about that," Lizzy said, diverting Todd's attention. "I can't stand caviar. But William can eat it from anywhere on me he pleases." Todd looked her over, head to toe.
"Better buy some crackers, just in case." Lizzy slapped him upside the head.
**
"I actually have a gift for Lizzy that I ordered online a couple of weeks ago," William said. "If I can remember the URL I'll how it to you." William brought up a site that specialized in lingerie and sought through several pages till he found what he wanted. He clicked on the small image to enlarge it.
"Lovely," Richard said.
"And it should be very lovely on Lizzy," Anton agreed. William smiled, accepting the compliment on her behalf, but his smile quickly faded.
"Too clichéd, giving her lingerie, you think?" he asked uneasily. Richard clapped him on the shoulder.
"Sometimes the tried and true methods are best."
"Especially if you're just in it for the sex, Richard?" Anton quipped.
"Have you got a better idea?" William challenged. Anton thought for a minute before he gestured for the younger man to rise. He slid into the seat and began to conduct a search.
"I usually prefer to do my shopping the old fashioned way, but this should do as well, if I can find it," he said half to himself. "Ah, here we are." William and Richard leaned in for a closer look.
**
"So you're going to slather yourself with fish eggs and spread yourself for William? Kind of gilding the lily, don't you think?" Todd smirked.
"It wasn't like that for us," Anne said. "I mean, I don't think that smearing--well, with us it was spontaneous. I think you'd better just get the caviar for William and leave the serving options for the moment."
"Don't worry," Lizzy assured her with a stern glance at Todd, "I had no intention of `slathering' myself with fish eggs.'"
"Good, because as cool as the Kama Sutra kit is, it's not good enough to remove the stench or the sight of you--." Todd fell silent as Lizzy gave him yet another threatening look. But she quickly brightened so that his next words weren't even heard. "Take one of those little bottles of bubble bath with you when you go," he suggested lightly.
"Say, that gives me an idea!" Anne smiled.
"What?"
"I think I've just had an idea that will knock William's socks off!" Lizzy smiled. "I just need to find a place to get the things I need..."
"Well, if it's socks you need, I know of a site," Todd said helpfully.
**
Valentine's Day rolled around two weeks later and all the happy couples celebrated the day in their own special way.
"Thank you for making me waffles tonight," Anne cooed in Richard's ear as she snuggled closer to him. Richard wrapped his arm around her and kissed her hair.
"My pleasure, sweetheart; anything to make you and Charlie happy," he replied.
"And speaking of Charlie, I really love my presents," Anne said as she reached for the boxes at the foot of the bed. Richard extricated himself from her arms and retrieved the boxes for her. The larger of the two held a heart shaped from molten red glass. Anne took the box from him and ran her fingers over the heart, in which was embedded a smaller heart to signify the growing child within her womb. She smiled as she looked at it and then turned to Richard for a kiss. "This is the best one ever," she said as she awkwardly wrapped her arms around him. In the late stages of her pregnancy she was finding it increasingly harder to get close to her beloved partner.
"I'm glad you like it," he said. "This year, for once, I knew exactly what I wanted. Usually, I leave Jeff to decide what the heart should look like; not this year."
"Charlie!" Anne said tearfully. "How did you get that little `C' on the little heart?"
"Jeff insisted that it's a total fluke," Richard said as he took the heart and held it up to the light. Within the smaller heart of clear glass with golden flecks was a swirl that could easily be read as a "C."
"Actually," Anne said as she dug into the second box, "I'm even more impressed with my other present." She opened the box and took out the locket Richard had found for her. It opened to reveal photographs of Richard, Anne and an empty space in the middle, which was currently occupied by a note that read "TBA." "I can't wait till we fill this space."
"I can't wait till this space is vacated," Richard countered, running his hand over Anne's red-silk covered abdomen. "I want to make love to you in the worst way."
"I'd prefer that you made love to me in the best way, of course, but I'll take whatever I can get," Anne said as she laid back in his arms.
"You look so beautiful in red," Richard said as he continued to stroke her distended belly. "How come you only wear red for me on Valentine's Day and Christmas?"
"I know what the sight of me in red does to you," Anne teased.
"Yes, but you also know what the sight of you in blue does to me, what the sight of you in pink does to me, what the sight of you in black does to me, what the sight of you in green--."
Anne covered his lips with her own in order to silence him. When she released him, she settled in his arms and sighed.
"Just a few weeks more and we can be us again...theoretically."
"Theoretically, yes," Richard smiled. He picked up the boxes and placed them on the nightstand. "By the way, Annie, the `FUCK MY SOCKS OFF' socks were cute."
"Don't wear them when you're out running. I don't want anyone following you home."
"With three Dobies as bodyguards, I doubt that'll happen," Richard chuckled.
"After seeing your butt in shorts, someone will be willing to take her chances."
Richard clucked and kissed Anne on her forehead. In minutes she fell asleep to the sound of Richard reading Keats.
**
Anton came out of the bathroom adjusting the cuff of his shirt.
"These are very clever, Todd. Are these cufflinks made from actual typewriter keys?"
"Yes," Todd said from the kitchen. "A friend of mine makes them. She finds old broken typewriters and collects the keys. She makes all manner of jewelry with them," he said as he emerged carrying two glasses. He approached Anton and handed him one.
"You're not naked," Anton said, mildly surprised.
"Disappointed, aren't you," Todd smirked. He kissed Anton's cheek and touched his glass to his partner's. "Skoal. I'd better finished getting dressed or we're going to be late." Anton turned to watch him go.
"The red silk is nice," he said as he followed Todd to the bedroom. The younger man wiggled his bottom as he slipped into his shirt.
"Made them myself," he said. Anton sat on the bed and lifted the tail of the shirt for another peek. Todd slapped his hand away and reached for his pants.
"So, you get to pick the letters for your cufflinks, I presume?" Anton asked casually as he watched Todd dress.
"Yes, and before you ask, A & W is my favorite brand of root beer."
"Try again," Anton snorted as he looked down at his cufflinks, one of which bore an initial that was definitely not his.
"She didn't have two matching `A's' available," Todd assayed.
"Did you consider `G'?" Todd paled. "I didn't think so." Todd went to him and took hold of his hands.
"I'm sorry, Anton, I didn't think. I'll take them back and get you ones with `G' on them." Anton smiled and shrugged elegantly.
"It doesn't matter. It's the thought that counts."
"But you think that I was thinking of--." Anton put his fingers over Todd's lips.
"We both know you were. Get dressed."
Todd sighed, looking totally contrite, and turned to reach for his tie. Anton took advantage of the opportunity presented to him and slapped him hard across his buttocks.
**
William arrived home with an armful of red roses. As he opened the door his senses were assaulted by the heady smell of incense. Frowning slightly, he followed his nose, which led him to the guest bedroom, which, to his utter amazement, had been completely transformed. The bed frame and headboard had been removed, leaving the mattress and box spring on the floor. It had been covered in fabric and was half buried in large pillows. The curtains had been draped in fabric and a low table had been set up and was set for dinner.
"Lizzy?" William started to go looking for her, but thought better of it, knowing that Lizzy fully intended for him to wait for her there. He laid aside the flowers and went back to the foyer to retrieve the packages he'd hidden in the closet. He removed his jacket and his tie and returned to the bedroom, kicking off his shoes as he entered.
"You're over-dressed."
William spun around.
"I usually am when we're together," he managed as he took in Lizzy's attire. She was wearing a low-cut midriff top and low-riding skirt of bright pink silk, with a pink chiffon shawl over her head and draped over her shoulders. "Are you going to belly dance for me?" Lizzy smiled and began to unbutton William's shirt.
"I am wearing a `lehnga,' not a belly dancing costume. It's Indian, not Moroccan."
"I'm flexible," William smiled. Lizzy couldn't resist the temptation to kiss him. She indulged herself for several minutes, at the end of which, William was clad only in his boxers and socks. His pants and shirt were at his ankles.
"Those will have to go, too," Lizzy said with a glance down. She turned and picked up a pile of clothing. "Here's your costume for the night." Lizzy collected William's discarded clothing and disappeared. She returned several minutes later with a tray bearing dinner. William was lounging on the bed drinking wine from a goblet. He was dressed in a silk robe and pants. Lizzy made a mental note to thank Anne for telling her where to find the set.
"So, we're in India," William said as Lizzy set the tray down and joined him on the bed. "No belly dance, then?"
"I can belly dance if you really want me to," Lizzy said, rising. "I have had lessons."
"Somehow, I've always assumed you could," William said as Lizzy began a slow sinuous dance to the sitar music playing softly in the background. William settled himself back among the cushions and enjoyed the show. When she was done, he applauded as she picked up the tray and brought it to the bed.
"Did you like that?" she said as she uncovered the dish on the tray. "We can do Morocco next year. I make a wonderful lamb tagine."
"Yeah, and you can belly dance again in appropriate attire. I like it when all that loose change is in motion on the dancer's hips." Lizzy laughed and held up a date. She fed it to William. "What's on the menu tonight?"
"Well, let's see. We have a few little nibbles to whet your appetite--." William interrupted to inform her that her dance had already more than whetted his appetite. Lizzy laughed and continued, as she picked up an appetizer and placed it in his mouth. "...Followed by chicken vindaloo, and vegetable biryani, some poori, fruit, nuts... I kept it very simple. I wouldn't want you to overeat and fall asleep on me."
"There's little chance of that, as long as you're in that costume--or out of it, come to think." William allowed his gaze to wander around the room as Lizzy continued to feed him. He quickly resumed his focus, however, and began to feed Lizzy in return. He barely tasted the food, however. With the removal of a bed, the addition of a few pillows and a few yards of fabric, Lizzy had managed to transport him to a different world. No, he corrected himself. Lizzy manages that all by herself. She's turned eating chicken and rice into a completely heady, exotic, erotic experience.
"What's going on in there, Mr. Darcy?" Lizzy asked as she lifted the tray and set it on the floor. She grabbed a handful of grapes to tease him with.
"I was just thinking." Lizzy popped a grape into his mouth.
"Yes?"
"I love you."
"You had to think about that? Hmm," Lizzy said as she glanced down and yanked at the hem of her top to expose more cleavage. William laughed at her antics.
"I was also thinking," he said as he caressed her cheek, "that this room has been beautifully transformed."
"Thank you. I borrowed Anton for a couple of hours last night and we did this."
"You did this yesterday? Where's the bed frame?" William asked as he lifted his head. Lizzy pushed him down.
"It's in the closet. Thanks for the roses, by the way."
"You're very welcome," William said as he allowed his fingers to trail over Lizzy's silky skin and wend their way down toward that enticing cleavage. "I have a few other things for you as well."
"So do I," Lizzy said as she reached across him and picked up a package she'd hidden at the side of the bed. William eyed the box suspiciously. "What's wrong?"
"How did that get over there? I could have sworn I left it--." William sat up and looked across the room to where the stack of presents he'd brought in still sat. At the bottom of the stack was a package identical to the one in Lizzy's hands. William scrambled off the bed to fetch the presents. He returned to the bed and placed them before Lizzy, who was equally intrigued. Setting aside the smaller gifts, she reached for the largest.
"Where did you find this paper?" she asked archly.
"At the stationer's down the block," William replied as he tore at his identically wrapped package. "You know, coincidentally, the gift you're opening fits in perfectly with--." William's mouth dropped open as both presents were revealed. Lizzy collapsed on the bed laughing. William was a bit put out momentarily, but he quickly saw the humor in the situation and joined her.
"Don't tell me; you asked Richard for advice on Valentine's Day gifts," Lizzy said.
"And Anton. You?"
"Todd and Annie, that Saturday we were at the loft for lunch, right?" William nodded as he moved the packages out of the way so he could pull Lizzy into his arms.
"Happy Valentine's Day, darling."
"Happy Valentine's Day, William."
**
A few days later, Richard was in the ground floor workroom-cum-laundry room sorting through a box of things he and Anne were sending to a thrift shop. Anton was pulling a load of laundry out of one of the two washing machines and putting it into one of the two dryers in the laundry area.
"Hey, what are you looking for anyway?" he asked the other occupant of the room.
"A pair of old pajamas of mine that Annie's been threatening to get rid of for the longest time," Richard replied as he pulled out a pile of women's clothing and tossed it on the floor. He felt something damp hit him in the back and looked at the fabric draped over his shoulder.
"Todd brought them downstairs yesterday," Anton said a bit sheepishly as Richard pulled the pair of blue chambray pants over his shoulder. "He didn't tell me they were yours."
"He gave you my pajama pants?" Anton shrugged.
"He's brought home stranger things in his day," he replied. "He asked me to wash them and I did. Richard opened his mouth, reconsidered the question dangling on the tip of his tongue and swallowed it.
"Speaking of bringing home strange things," Richard asked as he tossed the pants back to Anton, "I've been dying to know why you saved William's hair that day." Anton chuckled softly and turned the machine on.
"Got a few minutes?" Richard nodded. He picked up the discarded clothing on the floor and put it back in the box before the two men headed for the elevator. They entered the apartment Anton shared with Todd a moment later and Anton gestured for Richard to sit. "Want some coffee? Todd made it when he was down here earlier."
Richard nodded again. Anton served the coffee and for a few minutes the two men sat and enjoyed a companionable silence. They were alike in many ways and in many ways more compatible with each other than their respective partners. They often spent quiet time together discussing politics, the theatre, even sports. Anton was an avid soccer fan and Richard was the only person in the building who shared his love of the sport, going so far as to invite him up to watch Romania compete in the World Cup on the big screen television in the lounge.
"How are you going to sneak them back into the loft?" Anton eventually asked of Richard's pajamas.
"I have no intention of sneaking them in. Annie's in clear violation of a prior agreement: I don't throw out her stuff and she doesn't throw out mine."
"Boy is she going to get it," Anton smiled into his cup.
"Nah," Richard said with annoyance. "She's about to deliver any minute and they say that women go into some sort of weird nesting ritual right before labor. She reorganized the entire dressing room, Anton! Her area and mine, as well as all the bathrooms, the pantry and--get this--the kitchen. I'll just put my jammies back in the drawer and she won't even notice they're there till the next time I wear them, which will probably be sometime in the spring. Then she'll get it." Anton snorted.
"Todd says that Anne's kept him hopping all week. He said it was a real struggle to keep her from rearranging everything in the kitchen so he'd have to redo it later." Anton set his mug down and rose to his feet. "But we didn't come up here to discuss Anne. You wanted to know about this," he said as he crossed the room and came back with a small wooden box upholstered with Chinese silk. He handed it to Richard.
"What's this?"
"I've come to think of it as William's Reliquary," Anton smiled.
"Isn't a reliquary usually reserved for remains of the dead?"
"Killing William for a souvenir seems excessive, don't you think?" Anton replied reasonably. Richard smiled at the comment.
"I must say you tolerate Todd's fascination with him rather well."
"That's because it's just that--a harmless fascination. For all that Todd is an outrageous flirt I've never doubted where his heart lies. He will test the depths of my devotion often enough, though," Anton said as he looked down at the `G' on his cufflink.
"That sounds remarkably like someone I know and love," Richard smiled. He lifted his mug.
"Here's to our loved ones upstairs," Anton said, raising his own cup.
"God, I hope Annie goes into labor before she drags Todd down to the office," Richard sighed to himself. He shook off the thought and looked up. "So what did Todd say when you gave him his reliquary?"
"I haven't given it to him, yet. He decided to try one of those loyalty tests at the wrong time and I decided to withhold it."
"If you're planning to wait till Todd behaves you may be waiting a pretty long time," Richard snorted.
"Tell me about it!" Anton rose to fetch the pot and topped off both mugs. "How do you deal with Anne when she misbehaves?"
"Well, the first thing I had to do when I started living with Annie was recalibrate my definition of the word," Richard laughed. "If I just went according to Webster's dictionary, Annie probably `behaves' about thirty percent of the time. She's a very naughty, naughty girl."
"And you wouldn't have her any other way." It wasn't a question.
"I'd have Annie anyway I could get her, no doubt about it. But to answer your question, I never wait. I never hold back. Life is too precious and our time on this earth is too limited to waste. I love Annie with everything I've got and if she's making me crazy, I succumb to the insanity loving her every minute of it. And yes, I'll shout and lecture and posture and demand, and she'll tell me whatever I want to hear to make me smile again and we kiss and make up and make love and life is grand. Then I wake up the next morning to find that Annie has thrown down another gauntlet." Anton raised an eyebrow.
"You know, if I didn't see them together regularly--." Both men began to laugh. The intercom buzzed and Anton rose to answer it. "Yes, he's here." Anton gestured for Richard to join him at the intercom.
"Annie?" Richard mouthed. Anton shook his head. "Yes?" he said aloud.
"Do you want all those computer parts in that storage closet?" Todd asked. Richard let out a yelp and ran for the door.
**
Anton carried his laundry basket into the apartment and set it down in the hall between the bedroom and the linen closet. He was putting away some bed linen when he heard Todd come in.
"I am beat! Where the hell does one tiny woman with thirty-five pounds of yet to be born progeny strapped to her belly find so much energy? I mean, she's had me doing more work this week than I've done in the last two years! She had me cleaning things I didn't know she knew existed! For your information--in case it should ever come up in conversation--Richard has 33 pairs of shoes but only 61 pairs of socks. Anne has declared that to be an unsatisfactory ratio that she has ordered her husband and me to resolve between us. Tell me, is pregnancy defined as a mental disorder in the DSM-IV?" Anton pushed Todd down on the couch and patted his shoulder as he went off to the kitchen. He returned shortly with two glassed of wine just as Todd ended his rant. "You should have brought the whole bottle," Todd said as he gratefully accepted a glass.
"Don't you have to go back up to serve dinner?" Todd shuddered and Anton unsuccessfully tried to suppress a chuckle. He put down his glass and went behind the sofa so as to gain access to Todd's shoulders and began to slowly knead away the built-up tension. "Magic fingers," Todd sighed as he briefly captured one of Anton's hands and kissed it. He closed his eyes and allowed Anton to continue to his ministrations. He was on the verge of nodding off when he felt Anton pull the forgotten glass from his fingers.
"Sorry; you're too talented for your own good," Todd admitted. Anton patted his shoulder and slipped into the space beside him.
"I have something for you," he said as he held out the box.
"What's this?"
"Part of your Valentine's Day present. I withheld it after the cufflink faux pas." Todd had the grace to look slightly abashed. "Open it." Todd flipped the lid and peered into the box.
"Ewww, looks like a furball. What is it?" he asked brightly. Anton rolled his eyes.
"It's a souvenir of William."
"Get out of town! How'd you get a hold of his hair?"
"I gave him a trim the other day," Anton replied as Todd peered more closely at the short curly strands of hair in the box.
"Does Lizzy know about this?" Anton shrugged.
"Does it matter?" he asked.
"What am I supposed to do with it?" Anton shrugged again.
"Well, you've always given me fun gifts in the past. This was my attempt to return the compliment."
"You gave me William's hair as your idea of fun," Todd frowned.
"I thought that you'd find the idea of your partner giving a souvenir of your fantasy man amusing, yes."
"I find it as amusing as you found an army green latex thong," Todd retorted.
"Oh, well," Anton sighed as he rose and began to walk away. "You can't say I didn't try." Todd looked into the box once more and smiled. He closed the box and placed it on the coffee table and rose to go in search of Anton. Just as he reached the threshold of the bedroom he heard the buzz of the intercom.
"Damn," Todd sighed. "It's dinner time. Don't go anywhere," he ordered Anton, who was putting away the last of the laundry.
"Why not?"
"I'll be back, and I intend to expand your definition of fun. And," he said as he backed toward the apartment door, "it has nothing to do with hair or latex thongs, or even socks! You be here!" Anton stood and watched him go. He'd be there all right.
The End