When The Evening Falls ~ Section I

By Coleen V.

Section I, Next Section

Chapter 1

Posted on Wednesday, 9 August 2000

Author's note: This is inspired by Enya's song, When The Evening Falls but it isn't a modern day story! Hope you all enjoy!

Colonel Richard Fitzwilliam sighed wistfully as he watched Mr. and Mrs. Darcy chatting animatedly from across the room. He envied his cousin's happiness because he doubted he would ever find the like himself. At least marriage was less of a duty for him than for Darcy. Being the younger son of an Earl, he need not worry about heirs, etc. His brother had taken care of that already, having married a wonderful woman and the union of which produced three sons and two daughters. He could thus afford to wait.

"Cousin?" Georgiana's soft voice broke through his reverie. "You look sad. Is something wrong?"

The Colonel quickly gathered his wits. "No," he replied, "Nothing is wrong. The thought has just crossed my mind that I should be returning home very soon. I fear that I have imposed on your brother's kindness long enough."

Richard's words caught the attention of Darcy, who exclaimed, "What? You are thinking of leaving us already? I was hoping you might stay another three weeks at least!"

"Besides," Elizabeth added, "You promised me last week you would stay for the ball. Will you run out on us now, just when we need you the most?"

"Run out on you? What do you need me for? I am sure Pemberley can withstand the great horde of gentlemen and ladies that threaten to descend in a fortnight. And if not, Darcy can bestow upon them one of his blackest looks and they scurry back to their homes in terror."

"Richard!" Elizabeth gasped in mock horror amidst the laughter. "I hope you never say that again... Though it is true!"

Darcy grimaced at his wife, who laughingly ran to hide behind Richard. "Now see what you have done!" the lady exclaimed. "You have caused me to insult my husband. And for such ungentlemanly conduct, you will stay for the ball as punishment."

The Colonel threw up his hands in defeat. "I surrender!"

"Excellent! And since you are staying, I shall introduce you to two new ladies in the neighborhood, who both be at the ball."

Darcy raised an eyebrow. "Playing matcher Elizabeth?"

"Of course not! I only want to make sure Richard has a pleasant evening."

"I see."

"I did not realize you had new neighbors," Richard said.

"Oh yes," Elizabeth replied. "Glen Abbey was purchased several months ago but the family has only just move in. I met the Knights just last Sunday after this morning service. They have two sons and one daughter, who as it happens, is out."

"Ah. So Miss Knight is one of the two ladies. What is she like?"

"Miss Amelia Knight is a pretty girl but very quiet. I found it difficult to get two sentences from her but she seemed pleasant. You will like her, I am sure."

"How old is she?" Georgiana asked.

"I believe nineteen or twenty. She should make an excellent acquaintance for you Georgiana." Elizabeth said with a smile.

"I would like that," the young woman said shyly. "There are not many ladies near to my age in this neighborhood."

"And now there are two!" Richard said. "At least you spoke of two, Elizabeth. Who is the other I am to meet?"

"Miss Laura Hayes. She is the daughter of Mrs. Knight's late brother. I did not meet her I know very little of her. I do believe that she is from America.

"Is she?" Georgiana asked with wide eyes. "That is quite a distance to travel! How long is she staying?"

Elizabeth frowned thoughtfully. "From what Mrs. Knight implied, I believe she is here permanently. Both her parents are dead and she has no relatives to speak of there."

"How sad. Do you know how they died?"

"I am sorry Georgiana but I have told you all I know."

"What?" Darcy exclaimed. "You do not know the entire history of Miss Hayes's life? The gossips seem to be a little slow lately."

"Oh stop it Fitzwilliam," Elizabeth replied with a smile. "She has only been here just over a week. I am expecting at any moment to get the sordid details of her life. And if not, I shall find out at the ball."

The Colonel paced in his room, watching as the evening slowly fell. For some strange reason, he felt restless. He needed to do something... After pacing back and forth for a quarter of an hour, he swore under his breath and strode out of the room. He passed Darcy as he left the house.

"Richard!" the gentleman called. "Where are you going?"

"Out riding," was the reply.

"Now? It will be dark out in a couple of hours!"

"I will return in a while." Richard would be detained no longer and walked out the door towards the stables. He quickly saddled and mounted his horse. On a whim, he decided to ride towards a certain hill, which had been his favorite lookout as a child. The gentleman reached the top and gazed in awe at the beauty before him.

It was one of those rare sunsets when the clouds were just right to diffuse the sun's radiance. The burning sky spread for miles in every direction and the world, instead of being lit a golden glow, burned with a ruddy light. The hills and valleys beyond were green and lush with summer foliage. Everything was tinged with the reddish light, giving the world a dreamlike quality.

Richard could only breathe, as he was lost in magnificence that surrounded him. How long he stood atop the hill, he did not know but a sudden movement in the valley below caught his eye. A rider had broken out of the edge of the forest and was galloping across the open space. Her dark hair was loose, streaming away from her face like a glossy banner. What shocked him though, was not just that she was alone with night almost upon her but that she was not wearing a riding habit and most definitely not riding, as a lady should. He watched as she expertly jumped a stream deeply entrenched in its banks, and then disappeared back into the forest at the other end of the valley. He stared at the place where she had re-entered the woods, hoping to catch a glimpse of her once again. When she did not return, Richard mounted his horse and started back towards Pemberley.

Chapter 2

It was darker in the forest, though occasional gaps between the trees let in the last rays of the fading sunset. Richard rode slowly, lost in thought. At first the sound was so soft, he was not sure if it had been his imagination. It gradually grew stronger and the woods echoed with a beautiful, clear voice.

When the evening falls
And the daylight is fading
From within me calls
Could it be I am sleeping?
For a moment I stray
Then it holds me completely

Close to home
I cannot say
Close to home
Feeling so far away

Richard was entranced. The voice throbbed with an incredible sadness and it brought tears to his eyes. He dismounted and walked softly in the direction of the singer.

As I walk the room
There before me a shadow
From another world
Where no other can follow
Carry me to my own
To where I can cross over

Close to home
I cannot say
Close to home
Feeling so far away

He reached the edge of a small clearing and stopped. It was the woman he had seen riding earlier. Hidden by an obliging bush, he could observe her without being seen.

She sat cross-legged on the ground, her face raised to the sky. Her dark hair hung down her back, tangled and windblown from her ride. It contrasted sharply with her skin, which was a creamy white hue. She wore breeches that were tucked into black boots and a white linen shirt much too large for her.

Forever searching; never right
I am lost in oceans of night
Forever hoping I can find
Memories, those memories
I left behind

Tears ran freely down Richard's face.

Even though I leave
Will I go on believing
That this time is real
Am I lost in this feeling?
Like a child passing through
Never knowing the reason

I am home
I know the way
I am home
Feeling oh, so far away **

The sudden silence startled the Colonel, causing him to step back in surprise. His foot came down on a dry stick and the sound of its breaking was quite loud in the now quiet wood. The young woman leaped to her feet and looked around the clearing warily. The next few moments were tense, as he was sure he had been caught. Rescue came in the form of a squirrel, for it darted out from the brush and ran up a tree. The woman relaxed visibly. Richard remained taut and breathless in his hiding place, fearing to make another move lest he betray himself again.

He could now see her face clearly. She had a flawless complexion, a rounded chin, light rosy lips, and a nose neither too large nor too small. Fine, high cheekbones would have given her a haughty mien except for the sad expression in her large, gray eyes. He couldn't take his eyes off her tall, graceful figure as she walked over to her horse and smoothly mounted. Taking one last glance around the clearing, she urged her horse forward and melted into the forest. The sounds of her passing quickly faded. Richard emerged dazedly from behind the bush and silently made his way back to his horse and then home.

Forever searching... Never right... I am lost in oceans of night... Forever hoping I can find... Memories... Those memories... I left behind...

She stood at the edge of a cliff, a strong wind tossing her wild hair about, her arms reaching out to the stormy sky...

Fear gripped his heart as he ran towards her...

Even though I leave... Will I go on believing... That this time is real... Am I lost in this feeling... Like a child passing through... Never knowing the reason...

She faced him, her eyes filled with tenderness... His heart swelled with love... He knew that look was reserved for only him... He reached out to embrace her... She pulled back, her expression on of longing and anguish...

I am home... I know the way... I am home... Feeling oh, so far away...

Before his very eyes she began to fade... Now insubstantial as the mist... Now gone entirely... He cried out in despair...

Someday...

Colonel Fitzwilliam sat bolt upright in bed, the dream still vivid in his mind. The woman's song haunted his every waking hour and now apparently, his nights as well. He absently ran a hand through his hair.

I have to stop this! It is driving me mad!

For every evening, he had taken to haunting the clearing in hopes of seeing her. He was never disappointed as he discovered it was her habit to welcome the evening with that particular song. It was almost a ritual for her. Always just before dusk, she would arrive at the clearing, usually on horseback but sometimes on foot. She would then settle comfortably on the ground and quietly watch the sky. Then, prompted by some unknown signal, she would suddenly burst in to song. When she finished, she would sit for another quarter of an hour before leaving, never saying one word.

Richard got out of bed and walked over to the window. He rested his forehead upon the cool glass.

What is it about her that draws me to her?

He knew it was wrong and ridiculous of him to watch her but somehow he could not help himself.

She touches my very soul.

Almost at once he began chastising himself. He did not even know this woman! How could she hold such power over him? And most likely she was a farmer's daughter-it could never be. Touches his soul? He snorted in derision.

But it is true.

"Argh! I cannot take it anymore!" he said aloud. He hurriedly dressed and went downstairs, hoping to escape the small voice that taunted him.

** "When The Evening Falls"~~Enya

Chapter 3

Posted on Thursday, 17 August 2000

"Fitzwilliam? Do you know what is bothering Richard?"

Darcy looked up from the letter he was writing and met the concerned gaze of his wife. "I was unaware that anything was wrong with my cousin. Why do you ask?"

Elizabeth pulled up a chair and sat down next to her husband. "I met him as I was coming down the stairs. He looked terrible as if he had not slept all night."

"I do not see any cause for concern since there probably is a good explanation. He may have been up reading, for example."

"My dear, it is not only that." Elizabeth frowned thoughtfully. "It was the expression of his face... He looked haunted."

"Elizabeth..."

"No, one last thing. Your cousin has disappeared every evening for almost a fortnight. He rides out just before sunset and does not return until well after dark with no explanation of his whereabouts. Is this his usual behavior?"

Darcy pondered her words. "Now that you mention it, he has been acting strangely. I have been too caught up in estate business these last few days to notice. I shall speak with him today."

"Good." Elizabeth smiled in relief and kissed her husband on the forehead. "I hope it is nothing serious."

"Me either."

"Hello Darcy," Richard greeted his cousin glumly as he walked into the library.

"Where have you been all day?" the gentleman asked.

"Out."

Darcy studied the Colonel for a few moments before asking, "What is troubling you Richard?"

Colonel Fitzwilliam collapsed in a chair by the fireplace. "Is it that obvious?" he asked. When Darcy nodded, he continued, "You will think me a fool when I tell you."

"Come on man! Out with it!"

Richard sighed heavily before saying, "It is about a woman."

"Is that all?" Darcy exclaimed. "Thank God it is nothing more serious. Tell me about it. Did she prefer someone else? Or is she married? Perhaps she is not who you thought she was?"

"No, it is nothing like that," Richard replied, shaking his head.

"Well what then?"

Richard's expression grew distant. "She haunts me, Darcy-I cannot get her out of my thoughts. I try. I try so very hard but she is always before me. Even now I can see her face."

"Is this why you vanish every evening? To see her?"

"Yes." The Colonel stood and walked about the room. "I have this strange compulsion to see her. I cannot help myself. I think she has bewitched me."

"Who is she?"

Richard shook his head. "I do not know. Some farmer's daughter I should think."

Darcy stared at his cousin aghast. "You do not know?" He stared at the Colonel for some minutes. "Have you spoken to her?"

"No. That is the worst of it. She does not even know of my presence."

"Richard..."

"I know. I know it is ridiculous but what can I do?"

"There are only two remedies I can think of," Darcy said sympathetically. "Either marry her or find another to fill your heart."

"I am afraid the first is impossible and the second... With every year that passes, I begin to doubt I will ever find love."

Darcy regarded his cousin silently before saying, "I hope that a woman comes along one day to prove you wrong."

"So do I."

The Colonel stood with the Darcys as they greeted their guests. He bowed and said what was required of him but his mind was not on the guests or the ball. No, his thoughts were with her. It was about the time for her to greet the evening with that beautiful, sad song. He longed to be there, to see her. Yet he had promised Elizabeth to stay for the dance. His thoughts were still far away when a glint of something, or a particular tone of voice that he had come to know so well, or maybe the feel of a certain presence captured his attention. He looked up... His heart stopped...

She wore a gown of a dark emerald satin trimmed with a lace of an even deeper green... A white sash was draped over her left shoulder and tied at her right hip. Her dark hair was dressed in a simple style and adorned with white flowers. But her refined appearance did not match the expression in her eyes. She reminded Richard of a caged hawk, ready to fly free at any moment. Her mouth was twisted into a sardonic smile, as if to laugh at the absurdity of her present circumstances. She knew this was not where she belonged.

Yes, despite her altered appearance, Richard recognized her. He was certain that no matter the circumstances he would know her anywhere.

It was her...

Chapter 4

Posted on Friday, 1 September 2000

Richard knew he was staring. He also knew that he should not but he did not care. He watched as she talked amicably with Elizabeth, her hands gesturing to emphasize her words. She stopped suddenly to turn and look directly at him. She held his gaze for several moments before looking away and whispering something to Elizabeth. Both ladies laughed before linking arms and walking towards him.

"Richard!" Elizabeth cried, "I would like you to meet someone!" She smiled at him mischievously. "Colonel Richard Fitzwilliam, I would like you to meet Miss Laura Hayes. She is living with her aunt and uncle at Glen Abbey."

Richard, who had continued to stare at Miss Hayes, was only dimly aware of his being introduced. She was here and standing right in front of him, expecting him to say something. He desperately searched for something to say but his mind came up a complete blank. He could only gaze helplessly at the lady.

"Richard?" Elizabeth asked. "Did you not hear what I just said?"

The Colonel just stared at her dumbly.

Miss Hayes smiled in amusement. "It seems Colonel Fitzwilliam is a man of great thoughts and serious reflections. I will wager that at this very moment he is preparing to say something very profound to us, Mrs. Darcy." She looked expectantly at the gentleman. "Well, sir? I am waiting to stand in awe of your towering intellect."

Richard's face flushed a bright red. What should he say? He was honored to meet her, that he would love to have the first two dances, that she was the beautiful woman he had ever met? He had never been at a loss for words and so he blurted the first thing that came to mind. "I am honored dance such a beautiful meet!"

Miss Hayes gravely turned towards Elizabeth and said, "There we have it Mrs. Darcy. A most enlightening statement. I shall treasure this moment for the rest of my life."

Richard wanted to die of mortification. How could have he sounded so stupid? He berated himself until he heard Miss Hayes speaking to him again. "I am pleased to meet you also Colonel Fitzwilliam and I thank you for your compliment. I also will accept your invitation for the first two dances." Her eyes sparkled with suppressed mirth but her smile was warm. "Now if you will excuse me, I would like to speak with my cousin before the dancing begins." She curtsied and swept off into the crowd, leaving Richard to stare after her in wonder.

"I still do not understand why my aunt and uncle were so adamant that I attend this ball, Amelia," Laura said to her cousin.

Miss Knight shook her head. They had been over this a hundred times and yet Laura still could not see the necessity. "They are worried about you, Laura. You spend too much time alone. It is not healthy."

Laura shrugged indifferently. "I enjoy being alone. At least I do not have to worry about offending anyone like I do when I go into society." She smiled grimly. "Besides, society and I are not on the best of terms."

"You seemed to be doing fairly well earlier. You spoke with a gentleman for several minutes and could not have offended him too horribly or he would not have asked you to dance!"

"Pure luck, Amelia. That and the efforts you and my aunt made on my behalf to at least give me the appearance of a lady. My father was not suited to raise a young daughter alone but he did the best he could."

Amelia took her cousin's hand sympathetically. "Poor Laura. It must have been difficult having no mother."

"I stopped feeling sorry for myself a long time ago, Amelia." Laura squeezed her hand. "But I thank you for your concern." She let go of Amelia's hand and said brusquely, "Enough of this. I am here and I cannot go running off without insulting our hosts. I must stay and make the best of it even though I foresee little enjoyment."

"What!" a male voice exclaimed from behind. "A lady not enjoy a ball? I do believe that is blasphemy!"

Laura turned to see Colonel Fitzwilliam grinning at her impudently. "I see you have recovered from previous indisposition, Colonel. Pray, did you finally catch the cat who stole your tongue?"

Richard laughed delightedly. "I am afraid it escaped but my cousin, Mr. Darcy, was kind enough to lend me a spare one of his." He looked over to where couples were forming up for the first dance. "And not a moment too soon." He bowed and held out his arm. "I believe the next two dances are mine."

Laura nodded her assent and allowed him to escort her to the dance floor. They were well into the first dance when Richard asked, "May I be so bold as to inquire why you do not take delight in balls as so many of the other members of your sex seem to?"

"Only if you wish to hear a bold answer, sir," the lady replied archly.

"Please."

"Very well then. I do not like them for three reasons. First, I am forced to spend time in the company strangers and of some people with whom I do not like and would rather not associate. Second, I do not like having to make trivial conversation all evening as one must do at a ball. And third, I can think of many other things I would rather do than be at a ball."

Richard smiled. "But a ball also provides the opportunity to see those friends whom you may not have much contact with otherwise."

"Yes but surely good friends and acquaintances may spend time together without the necessity of a ball. Why must there be a reason other than they wish to be in the company of those they love?"

"I cannot fault your logic. It does seem that a ball is a very frivolous thing indeed."

"I am glad we are in agreement then," Laura replied laughingly.

After they had gone down the second dance, Colonel Fitzwilliam said, "I would be honored if you would allow me to have the last two dances also Miss Hayes. That is if your store of trivial conversation has not been drained by that time."

Laura smiled impishly. "Do not worry Colonel Fitzwilliam. I shall save up a large dose of triviality especially for you. We will not lack boring conversation."

"I look forward to it Miss Hayes."

The rest of the evening went pretty much as Laura expected. She was introduced to many people who were curious about their new neighbors and had many unimportant conversations. These she cut short, as soon it was politely possible and then retreated to a quite corner. It was here that Richard found her when he came to claim her for the last set.

"I see you have finally been driven into hiding. Have you been here long?"

"Only for the last half-hour," Laura replied. "I could not get away sooner."

They joined the other couples. "I am now going to remind you of your promise to have more trivial conversation, Miss Hayes. I believe I will start off by asking what was your impression of London because of course everyone must have an impression of it. If I find you have not been there then it is my duty to pity you and describe its wonders. You did stay there for a bit?"

"Yes I did. I must say that I found it large, dirty, and crowded. I prefer the country."

"Ah ha!" Richard fished for something to add but drew a blank as he had earlier in the evening. At least this time he was in full possession of his wits. "I am afraid, Miss Hayes, that I can find no other reply. Shall we dare disapprobation and try for some better conversation?"

Laura's eyes shone delightedly. "Oh let us!"

Through the rest of the dance and the next, Laura told Richard a little about her home in America and he told her of some of his adventures on the Continent. They laughed at each other's stories and the time passed quickly. Soon, the last dance was finished even though it had only felt as it had just begun.

Laura looked over to her aunt and uncle. They gestured to her, indicating it was time to depart. "I believe it is time for me to leave, Colonel."

Richard was a little disappointed. He had hoped to be able to talk with her for a little while longer. "I am sorry to hear that Miss Hayes," he replied gallantly. "Your absence will be sorely felt."

"Thank you sir," she replied with a demure smile. "Good bye."

"Goodbye, Miss Hayes," Richard said and bowed. His eyes fixed on her as she walked away.

Suddenly she turned and said, "Colonel Fitzwilliam?"

"Yes, Miss Hayes?"

"I only wanted you to know that I did not find this evening a complete waste of time." She smiled and left before he could think of a reply.

Chapter 5

Posted on Tuesday, 5 September 2000

"Good morning cousins!" Richard sang as he entered the breakfast room.

Elizabeth and Georgiana exchanged quick glances before saying in unison, "Good morning Richard."

"You seem in good spirits today," Elizabeth added.

"I have never felt better in my life!" he exclaimed.

"And I suppose the introduction of a certain lady has something to do with it?"

Richard grinned. "You do not really expect me to answer that? But I must congratulate you on a wonderful ball, Mrs. Darcy. Never was the dancing more lively nor food more well prepared!"

"What is this?" Darcy exclaimed from where he was standing in the doorway. "Are you flattering my wife again, cousin?"

"Well somebody must," Elizabeth answered, "For you seem to be remiss in that area."

Darcy assumed a tragic pose. "I have failed you, my noble wife!" Will you ever forgive me for being such a villain?"

Elizabeth pretended to think about it and then sighed reluctantly. "I suppose I shall but only on one condition," she said, shaking her finger at him.

"Anything my lady asks!"

"You must promise to flatter me at least once a day... If not more!"

Darcy took her hand and showered it with kisses. "Thank you my most noble and beautiful wife," he said in between each kiss. "Your generosity and capacity for forgiveness is legendary. The world shall sing your praises for generations to come. Young girls will idolize and strive to emulate you..."

"Enough!" Elizabeth interrupted him with a laugh. "You are beginning to sound like my cousin, Mr. Collins."

Darcy shuddered involuntarily. "Then I will hold off on my compliments for now. Shall we eat?"

"I can not but notice the change in you, Richard," Darcy said to his cousin after the ladies had left. "You have been moping about for the last two weeks and now suddenly you are as cheerful as ever-even more so!"

Richard leaned back into his chair and gazed out the window. "I found her last night, Darcy. She was at the ball."

"Oh?" Darcy leaned forward, his eyes alight with curiosity. "Who is she?"

"Miss Laura Hayes."

"The American?"

"Yes."

"I have heard some interesting things about her."

The Colonel looked at his cousin sharply. "Oh?"

"She managed to offend half the ton while in London."

"The ton needs offending sometimes. It helps them to keep their perspective."

"She insulted the Duke of S_____."

"The Duke is a pompous ass and undoubtedly deserved it."

"She is permanently banned from the homes of several well-known families."

"What are you trying to tell me, Darcy? Do you not like her?"

Darcy raised his hands defensively. "I have nothing against her-she seems like a wonderful girl." Richard glared at him. "I am just trying to warn you," Darcy said. "If what I heard is true, which the story of your first seeing her only corroborates them, then I expect she is extremely... spirited and I just do not want to see you get hurt."

He slowly crept between the trees; mindful of all the dry brush underfoot that could announce his presence at any moment. He neared an opening in the forest and ducked into his usual hiding place. He carefully peered out from behind the foliage. She was already there, seated in her usual spot so he lay down on the ground and waited for her to begin her song. It was no longer necessary for him to watch her as her image was fixed so firmly in his mind's eye. At the first sound of her voice, he closed his eyes and drifted off to that wonderful, sad place her song always took him.

It might have been minutes or it might have been hours; he would never know. It was the familiar metallic clicking sound that woke him from his reverie. He found himself looking up into the two barrels of a pair of beautifully crafted dueling pistols. It took him several moments to realize just who was holding those pistols.

Her shining black hair hung in tangles down her back. All expression had been carefully wiped off her face except for in her eyes. He shrank back from the coldness in them.

"Colonel Fitzwilliam, how wonderful to see you." Her voice was hard. Richard stared up at her speechlessly. "You have ten seconds to start explaining yourself, sir," she said, "or else..." She gestured slightly with one of the pistols. "And I assure you that I am a very good shot, even if I am not at close range."

"M-M-Miss Hayes..." was all he could stammer.

"Ten... Nine... Eight... Seven... Six... Five..."

Chapter 6

Posted on Saturday, 9 September 2000

"Four... Three... Two..."

"I-I-I was only listening to your beautiful song!" Richard blurted out. At first he did not believe that she would actually shoot him-this was a completely different woman from the one he had danced with at the ball. It was something in her eyes, however, that convinced him otherwise... at least enough to answer her demand instead of struggling to take the pistols away from her.

The expression in Laura's eyes warmed a bit. "And just how long have you been doing this?" Her voice held less steel.

"Only for a half an hour!" Richard decided that it was not the best time to tell her how many days at this point.

"That is not what I meant."

Was the woman a mind reader? The Colonel looked shamefaced as he mumbled, "A fortnight."

Laura stared at him as she considered his words and came to a decision. She lowered her pistols so they were aimed at the ground. "You might want to stand up," she said. "You are only getting dirty lying on the ground like that." She turned abruptly and made her way to her horse.

Richard stood uncertainly. What was he supposed to do now? Was he free to go or did she want him to follow? He shrugged to himself and chose the latter. She had her back to him and was busy carefully wrapping the pistols in a few strips of cloth. "Where did you get those?" he asked.

"They were my father's," she replied without looking up.

"Have you ever shot anyone with them?"

"Yes, once."

The Colonel's eyes widened in shock. "Why?"

This time Laura did look at him. "Because he was planning on doing something particularly horrible to me and I had to persuade him otherwise."

"Did you kill him?"

"Unfortunately... no."

He pondered over this as she placed the wrapped pistols inside a burlap sack. "Why did you not shoot me then? How do you know I was not planning the same thing?"

"If you had," she said while securing the sack to her saddle with a length of rope, "you would have done it already when you had the chance."

"Oh... How did you find me?"

She mounted her horse and settled into the saddle. "You must have fallen asleep." Richard looked at with incomprehension. "You snore, Colonel," she explained bluntly. "And quite loudly, I might add." She grinned at his offended expression. "If you want to listen to me, just come into the clearing from now on. I promise not to shoot you if you do." With that she urged her horse to walk out of the clearing.

Richard gazed after her, debating on whether to ask the last question burning in his mind. "Miss Hayes!" he called.

Laura reigned in and looked back. "Yes, Colonel Fitzwilliam?"

"Were you actually going to shoot me?" He had to know.

"No." He could never be sure since the light was quickly fading, but he swore she was nodding "yes" as she answered him. She again urged her horse forward and disappeared into the forest. "Goodnight, Colonel!" she called back.

"Goodnight... Miss Hayes..."

It was a few hours before dawn. Richard was still awake, pacing the room by the light of a single candle. The events of the evening disturbed him and now he had a decision to make. Should he continue this acquaintance with the wild Miss Hayes for he knew he was on his way to falling in love with her. Soon he would be beyond the point of no return. But she had shown a side of herself earlier that somewhat frightened him.

"I have heard some interesting things about her."

Richard sat on the bed and buried his face in his hands.

"She managed to offend half the ton while in London."

He could still see the cold look in her eyes and the pistols in her hands.

"Have you ever shot anyone with them?"

"Yes, once."

He shuddered at the way she had calmly admitted it.

"I am just trying to warn you... If what I heard is true, which the story of your first seeing her only corroborates them, then I expect she is extremely... spirited and I just do not want to see you get hurt."

Richard smiled grimly. His cousin would never know just how fitting his warning had been. He lay back on the bed and shut his eyes. Soon other images of Laura began to intrude on his thoughts. The first time he had seen her, riding across the open field, looking vibrant, wild and free. The way she looked when she thought she was alone. The sadness she expressed as she sang.

Forever searching; never right
I am lost in oceans of night
Forever hoping I can find
Memories, those memories
I left behind

The way she teased him at the ball, leaving him speechless. How she had understood his babbling and soothed over any untended hurt she may have given him.

"I am pleased to meet you also Colonel Fitzwilliam and I thank you for your compliment. I also will accept your invitation for the first two dances."

The slight flicker of surprise and some other emotion in her eyes when he admitted to intruding on her privacy only to hear her sing. And how could he forget her invitation to come to the clearing whenever he liked? She behaved in so many different ways that Richard was constantly caught off-guard. Suddenly he knew that he could not give up the acquaintance for that was what intrigued him. She truly unlike any other woman he had ever known and from what he had seen of those in society, he decided that it was a good asset. Yes, he would seek out and continue this acquaintance for he knew that he would never find another like this one in a lifetime.

Chapter 7

"You what?"

"I told him to explain himself or I would use my pistols on him."

"You mean you threatened to kill him," Amelia accused.

"Well now you do not have to put it like that!" Laura exclaimed.

"Is that not what you did?"

"Yes, but it sounds so uncivilized."

"Laura, you are uncivilized."

Laura smiled broadly and said, "Yes I know, but you still love me, do you not?"

Amelia sighed in defeat. "Yes I do. Poor Colonel Fitzwilliam... You must have given him quite a shock. He has been probably running all night from you and the country. I imagine he is back on his father's estate at this very moment."

"He will recover," Laura replied with a shrug. "And if I scared him that badly, then he was not worth knowing."

Suddenly the breakfast room door banged open and James, the Knight's youngest son, came rushing in. "Laura-ra-la!" he yelled, "Laura-ra-la, I want to go out and play but Mama said I could only if Marcus would take me along with him but Marcus will not do it. He says he and his friends would not want a little shrimp like me along." He looked up at her with a pleading expression. "Will you play with me Laura-ra-la? Please?"

Laura laughed at the little boy's look and scooped him up into her arms. "Of course I will!" she said. "And I promise you will have more fun with me than with your brother."

James bounced in her arms and asked excitedly, "What we will we do?"

"Hmmmmmmmmm..." Laura thought for a moment then her eyes light up. "I know! I will take you to visit the Kingdom of the Birds!"

James gazed at her in awe. "We can do that?" he asked in a whisper.

"Oh yes! We will get to see the King and all his courtiers if we are quiet enough."

"Yay!" the little boy cried. He looked at his sister. "Do you want to come with us, Amelia-la?"

Amelia smiled at her brother and said, "I would love to but I am afraid Mama has some things for me to do." She looked at Laura. "Besides, if you are going to do what I think, I would not be able to follow at any rate."

"Oh..." James looked disappointed for a moment but he soon brightened again. "Tell me more about the Kingdom!" he demanded of Laura. "How do we get there? Will it take long? What is it like?"

Laura laughed again. "It is not too long of a journey but I think we will need a couple things, like some bread..." she said as she carried him out of the room.

"Georgiana and I are going to pay a visit to Glen Abbey later this morning," Elizabeth told her husband and the Colonel. "Would either of you like to come along?"

"I am afraid I cannot, Elizabeth," Darcy said. "I have to speak with my steward this morning."

Elizabeth looked at Richard. "What about you?"

"I would love to," he replied.

Richard opted to ride his horse rather than sit in the carriage on the way to Glen Abbey. He told his cousins that it was because it was such a beautiful day but he actually wanted time to think. He rode behind the carriage, not really listening to the ladies gaiety but thinking more on Laura. He could not wait to see her and only hoped that she would be there. He was suddenly interrupted in mid-thought when the branches of a tree above him rustled and a shoe fell out of nowhere, hitting him in the head. It was followed by what sounded like a couple of stifled giggles. He gave only a cursory glance upward before catching up to the Darcy carriage. "There is something I have to attend to," he said to Elizabeth. "You ladies go on ahead and I will catch up with you in a while."

"Is there something wrong, Richard?" Elizabeth asked, her face filled with concern.

"Nothing at all," he replied with a smile to reassure her. "I just need to look at something." He waited until the carriage was some distance ahead of him before riding back to the tree. He dismounted and picked up the shoe that had attacked him earlier. He examined it before saying aloud, "You seem to have lost your shoe, Miss Hayes."

The silence was thick. Suddenly Laura's voice floated down from the tree. "How did you know it was me, Colonel?"

"I just knew," he replied with a grin. "What are you doing up there?"

"Laura-ra-la brought me up here to see the Bird Kingdom!" a younger voice piped up.

Richard peered up into the tree but was unable to spot either person. "Bird Kingdom?"

"Yes," the voice explained, "we decided to pay a visit to the King and Queen since it is good manners to visit your neighbors from time to time. They were very shy though because they flew off after the introduction. I thought we would have to leave after that but Laura-ra-la said she asked permission to stay and have a picnic. Their Majesties agreed as long as we brought them some dinner too."

"Oh? And what did you bring for Their Majesties dinner?"

"May we show him Laura-ra-la? Please?"

"Yes, Laura-ra-la," the Colonel pleaded also, "May I see? Please?" He had imitated the younger voice almost perfectly.

"Only if you really want to, Colonel Fitzwilliam," Laura replied.

"Oh yes! I really do."

"Then let us show him, James!"

Richard looked up in the general direction of the voices. Just as he did so, a stream of grain poured down from the tree, directly into his face. The pair in the tree giggled as the he dusted himself off.

The tree shook and rustled as a basket plopped to the ground followed by Laura and James climbing. Laura turned and faced Richard with a grin. "You should have moved, Colonel," she said, "Do you not know better than to stand where things might suddenly fall to the earth?"

"I shall remember that next time, Miss Hayes," Richard replied affecting a sheepish look. He smiled down at the little boy. "And who is this young man?" he asked.

"Colonel Fitzwilliam," Laura said formally, "I would like you to meet Master James Knight, my youngest cousin." James straightened slightly and bowed, proud to be treated like an adult. "James," Laura continued, "this is Colonel Richard Fitzwilliam. He is the cousin of our neighbors, the Darcys."

"Pleased to meet you Master James," Richard said, bowing.

James tried to bow also but stumbled slightly. Laura laughed affectionately and picked him up. "We will have to work on that bow, James," she said. She looked at Richard. "And where were you going just now?" she asked.

"To visit you and your family with my cousins, Mrs. and Miss Darcy."

"Oh! I was hoping to see them again! I suppose we should return to the house then." She put her cousin down and took his hand. "Ready, James?"

"Do we have to go back?" the boy pleaded sadly.

"I am afraid so."

James sighed. "Yes I am ready."

"I will walk with you, if you please," Richard said.

Laura smiled. "That would be lovely." She picked up the basket and started walking back to Glen Abbey.

"Miss Hayes?" Richard's voice stopped her.

"Yes?"

"You seemed to be forgetting something," he said smugly and held out her shoe.

Chapter 8

Posted on Sunday, 17 September 2000

Glen Abbey was not actually an abbey, the original structure having been long since destroyed, but it was a large, handsome looking mansion and few could find fault with it. If one asked the locals why it was still referred to as the Abbey, they would shrug and reply that it had always been so for longer than anyone could remember. It was this building that Laura, Richard, and little James now approached. They paused outside the door while Laura made sure each one was presentable.

"I have a favor to ask of you, Colonel," she said while attempting to smooth down James's hair. The little boy shifted impatiently under her ministrations.

"Ask and it shall be done," Richard replied gallantly.

Laura stared at her little cousin critically before saying to him, "I think that is as decent as I can make you, James. You can run along now." James gleefully raced into the house. Laura turned and faced the gentleman. "I would appreciate it if you did not mention how you found my cousin and I this afternoon," she said. "My aunt would be most upset and doubtless lecture me on my behavior."

"First we must remove all evidence of your activities," Richard said as he reached out and picked a few stray leaves from her hair. "Much better." He looked her over approvingly. "Mrs. Knight will never know about your sojourn in a tree. You may count on my secrecy."

"Thank you," Laura replied gratefully. She brushed some stray grain off the Colonel's shoulders and then subjected him to the same critical glance she had given her young cousin earlier. "I suppose you will do," she said with a wicked grin, "not that nature gave me much to work with in the first place!" She turned and flounced off into the house, leaving Richard no option but to follow her.

"...and then Laura-ra-la poured the grain out for Their Majesties dinner only Colonel Fitzwilliam was in the way and it got all over him and we laughed. Then Laura-ra-la and I jumped down from the tree and she introduced me to the Colonel and then said we had to go home."

Laura stopped just outside the drawing room door and groaned softly. "Oh no... I forgot to tell James not to say anything!" She slumped against the wall and hung her head. "I am in for it now."

"Is there anything I can say or do to help?" Richard asked.

"Thank you, no. It will only make it worse." She sighed heavily and straightened. "It will not do any good to stand out here all day either." Richard offered her his arm, which she accepted and they entered the drawing room together.

"Ah there you are, Laura! And Colonel Fitzwilliam too!" Mrs. Knight exclaimed. "I am happy to meet you once again, sir."

"It is a pleasure to see you again also, Mrs. Knight," the Colonel replied with a bow.

The lady smiled and then turned to her niece. "James was just telling me about your adventures," she said in a light tone. "I would love if you told me more about it later."

Despite her aunt's friendly words, Laura recognized the danger signals but said with forced brightness, "Of course, Aunt."

Laura watched through the drawing room window as the Darcy carriage and Colonel Fitzwilliam gradually disappeared down the road. The gentleman had stopped and looked back once, bowing in his saddle when he caught sight of Laura at the window. She had returned it with a smile and a little wave. The door opened and shut as her aunt returned after seeing her guests off. Aware of the impending confrontation, Amelia took James's hand and left, leaving behind an ominous silence.

"Why?" Mrs. Knight demanded suddenly. "Why do you persist on behaving in such a wild manner?"

Laura could not think of a reply that would satisfy her aunt so she kept her silence.

"I have tried, many times, to correct you in this but you still will not listen to me. A gentlewoman cannot roam around the countryside at will, behaving like a gypsy! You will be the laughing stock of society, Laura! What would your father have thought?"

The younger woman had continued her place at the window and did not turn around as she said, "You know my opinion of society, Aunt Mary. And as for my father, he hated so-called society ladies. That is why he brought me up as he did."

"I know very well of your opinion of society. I can understand your disgust of London society, both your uncle and I share that with you and that is why we moved here. But the country is so much different than in London and you have not even given it a chance!" Mrs. Knight was becoming frustrated at her niece's seeming lack of concern. "How can you continue to humiliate yourself and your family in this fashion?"

Laura's shoulders stiffened at the last remark. "I am sorry that I cause you any embarrassment aunt. I never feel any humiliation on my behalf and I never meant to hurt the rest of you. But I cannot change now..."

"You mean you will not," Mrs. Knight interrupted.

"Will not then. How can you expect me to be happy by curtailing my instincts, my sense of enjoyment so as to live as a gentlewoman? Do you not see that I would suffer unbearable misery?"

"I am a gentlewoman and you do not hear me complain."

"No but you were also brought up different." Laura turned and faced her aunt, tears forming in her eyes. "Since I am causing you so much distress, I shall move to Moorsdale," she said referring to the estate she had inherited from her father some twenty miles distant. "I can hire a companion so it will not be so very improper. This way I shall not involve you in any more humiliation."

Now it must be said that Mary Knight loved her brother's child dearly and to hear her speak of leaving tore at her heart. She quickly walked over to Laura and embraced her fiercely. "You will do no such thing," she said. "I will not hear of it." She sighed. "I did not mean to hurt you Laura, but I know I did. I spoke in anger and exaggerated the seriousness of the whole incident as a result. And as Colonel Fitzwilliam did not seem the least offended, I suppose there was no harm done. Quite the opposite, I might say," she observed shrewdly.

Laura blushed slightly and said, "The Colonel is a brave man and I doubt anything I do will be enough to scare him."

Mrs. Knight chuckled but turned serious once more. "There is only one thing left I have to say, Laura. I cannot force you to act like a well-bred gentlewoman but I hope you know you have chosen a difficult path."

"I do know, Aunt Mary. I do."

Chapter 9

The door to the bedroom opened and shut softly. Laura twisted around in her seat and grinned. "Did I give you permission to enter?" she asked.

"No but you would have anyway," Amelia replied. "I thought I might save you the trouble." She gave her cousin a sympathetic look. "Was it bad?"

Laura grimaced. "It usually is, Amelia. I hate arguing with your mother."

"You could save yourself the trouble if you..."

"Please!" Laura begged. "Spare me the lecture! I heard it all from Aunt Mary already."

"Why do you do it then?" Amelia asked as she sat on Laura's bed. "You are not raising yourself in anyone's opinion." She shifted uncomfortably, unsure as to how her cousin would react to her next sentence. "You will never get a husband that way..."

Laura gave her cousin a level stare. "Yes, I am perfectly aware of that," she said. "There is not a man that I have met, whom I could ever call 'husband' and nor will there be. None would be able to tolerate my eccentricities."

"Not even Colonel Fitzwilliam? He seems to have taken everything in stride."

"The Colonel is a remarkable man," Laura replied softly. Her eyes grew distant. "Yes, I suppose if there were a man I could marry..." she broke off and shook her head. "But it does not matter. I do not believe I could make him happy-we would detest each other within a year. And that is supposing he were to ever ask me."

"But what if he did?" Amelia pressed. She was not about to let this go.

Laura spread her hands and shrugged. "As of now, it would be 'no' but who knows what the future holds?"

"I had almost given up on you," Richard said when Laura materialized from the forest.

She swung down off her horse and said, "I am sorry Colonel but I thought it best to stay in the last few nights to please my aunt." She walked towards the middle of the clearing and sat.

"I understand. Was your aunt very angry with you?"

"Yes, at first." Laura peered up at him and said, "Would you mind sitting, Colonel? I have rarely ever performed in front of an audience and you are making me nervous towering over me like that."

"I do apologize, Miss Hayes. It had not occurred to me." Richard sat at a spot not too far from her.

"Thank you." She gave him a brief smile and then closed her eyes. The minutes passed by in silence. Just when he thought she had fallen asleep, she opened her eyes and began to sing. Her voice made his heart race and sent shivers down his spine. Neither spoke for some time after she had finished.

"That was..." Richard said, finally breaking the silence. He shook his head. "There are not words to describe it..." Laura blushed but did not say anything. "Why do you do this?" he asked.

"For my mother, I guess," she said softly. "Of the few memories I have of her, I remember her singing that song every night. We would sit together outside and watch the stars appear. I asked her once why we did this and she said she liked to welcome the evening that way. Her mother had done so and her grandmother before her." She yawned suddenly. "I believe I must be going. Good evening Colonel," she said as she stood.

Richard was startled at the abrupt way she had ended the conversation. "Must you really go?"

"Yes, I am tired."

"I wish you a pleasant evening then, Miss Hayes."

"Laura."

"Pardon?"

The lady smiled and said, "I am sick of these tedious formalities. Please call me Laura."

Richard's heart soared. "I shall... Laura..."

"Ah! There you are!" Mr. Knight said as his niece walked into the foyer. "I have been looking all over for you." He looked at her clothing in disapproval. "Out riding again, I see. Why do you not dress properly?"

Laura plucked at the front of her linen shirt. "You know how I hate riding habits, Uncle. What is it that you wish to see me for?"

"Let us go to my study." He swiftly led her down the hall and closed the door once they were inside the room. "Sit down, my dear." Laura complied and he took a seat near her. "I have heard from your cousin Francis today," he said as he pulled a letter out of his vest pocket.

Laura let out a most unladylike snort and said, "What does the idiot want now?"

"Laura..." he said reprovingly.

"Well he is."

Mr. Knight sighed and shook his head. "Let us not get sidetracked. He writes that he misses you and drops some not-so-subtle hints that he would like to visit."

Laura gave her uncle a cold stare. "Impossible! He cannot come here," she almost yelled. "After what he did to me, how he dare to ask that?" Her voice shook with suppressed rage.

Her uncle was somewhat taken aback by her vehemence. "Do not worry, Laura," he said in soothing tones. "I was going to discourage him but I wanted you to know first."

"I thank you uncle," she replied, "and I strongly advise you to discourage him in the strongest language possible." She stood and gave him a direct look. "Or else I will not be held accountable for the consequences if he does come."

Chapter 10

Posted on Tuesday, 17 October 2000

"What are your dreams, Richard?" Laura asked him suddenly one evening a few weeks later.

The Colonel looked over to where she lay stretched out upon the ground, her arms folded behind her head, and her eyes scanning the sky. "I do not know what you mean by that," he replied.

"What is it that you want out of life? What is it that spurs you on? That keeps you going day after day trying to reach it?" She sighed. "I am troubled sometimes because the answers to those questions seem obscured for me. I doubt I shall ever know... In this lifetime at least."

He thought for a moment before saying, "I believe I have most of what I want-a profession, my family, and good friends. My life almost seems complete but there is one thing missing, one thing that I do aim for."

Laura glanced over at him curiously. "Oh? And what is that?"

He looked right into her eyes. "Someone to share it with." They gazed at each other for several heartbeats. This is it, Richard thought. He took a deep breath and nervously began fidgeting with his coat buttons. "Laura, I..." He stopped when her expression changed. At first he thought the glare was meant for him but he soon realized she was not looking at him, but beyond him. Her expression suddenly grew pleasant again and she stood, brushing the grass off of her. "What..." he began to ask.

"There is a curious looking tree that I have never noticed before," Laura said, "I am going to take a closer look." Richard stared after her in confusion as she made her way to the edge of the clearing. The tree stood near the bush where Laura had first discovered him and it was as normal looking as any other. "You should see this," she called back, "the leaves are very strange. They have an odd texture to them... almost like cloth!" Suddenly her hand shot out, reaching into the brush next to her. There was an answering shriek that echoed among the trees as Laura hauled a young man, who appeared to be about seventeen years of age, out of his hiding place and dragged him to the center of the clearing. She dumped him on the ground and stood over him with her hands on her hips. Richard looked from her to the boy in astonishment. "What are you doing here, Marcus?" the lady asked, giving her cousin a menacing stare. He looked up at her sullenly. "Answer me before I become tired of waiting," she said.

"You do not scare me!" Marcus exclaimed. Laura merely glared at him and he shrank back. "I was bored!" he exclaimed quickly. "I knew you rode out almost every day and I wanted to see where you went, that is all!"

"Are you sure?"

Marcus looked down at the ground and mumbled, "No... I was going to play a prank... Run off your horses, you see... So you would have to walk back home..."

Laura glowered at him some more and finally said, "You may stand up now." She walked away from him, muttering under her breath.

Richard helped the young Mr. Knight to his feet. "Thank you Colonel," Marcus said. He looked over at his cousin and then back to Richard. "Why is Laura so angry with me?" he asked.

The Colonel smiled wryly. "You made the same mistake I did," he said.

"What would that be?"

"Spying on her."

Marcus's eyes widened in shock. "You mean to say that you..."

"Marcus!" Laura's voice interrupted them, "We are going home."

"But Laura!"

"Now." She looked at Richard. "Goodbye, Colonel," she said, " and I thank you for the lovely conversation we had."

"Goodbye Miss Hayes." Richard watched her leave with a heavy heart. It was strange but he felt as if he had missed his only chance for happiness. He shook his head. It was crazy-he would just have to find another opportunity to ask her... and soon.

Two Days Later...

The Darcys and Colonel Fitzwilliam had once again paid a formal visit to Glen Abbey. Though everyone noticed it, nobody commented on the fact that Laura and Richard would withdraw to the other side of the room as soon as common politeness would allow. No one was surprised either, when the two rose from their seats and exited the room.

"I still say you are wrong, Richard," Laura said to the Colonel as they crossed the foyer. "Much Ado About Nothing is my favorite play and I know it inside and out. I am sure you have Amelia confused with Beatrice!"

"Well let us fetch the book out of the library so I may see for myself," Richard replied with a grin. "Somehow I do not all together trust you!"

Laura was about to respond when the bell rang at the front entrance. "I wonder who that could be?" she asked. Not waiting for a servant to answer, she walked over and opened the door herself.

A man of medium height and sandy, blonde hair stood at the entrance. He smiled ingratiatingly at Laura and said, "Hello cousin, it is wonderful to see you again."

Laura's face paled with anger. Responding to some instinct within her, she balled up her fist and punched the man in the face, knocking him to the ground. She then spat on him before running out the door away from the house.

Richard had been some distance from the door so he had not been able to react quickly enough when the lady had fled. "LAURA!" he yelled. He ran after her, only giving the man on the ground a cursory glance.

The Colonel's shout had brought the others out into the hallway and to the door. Mr. Knight looked down at the man at his feet and said in a cold voice, "Francis Porter. What are you doing here?"

Chapter 11

Laura ran until she was tired and out of breath but she still kept on. She had to get away, far away from the house and Francis. Through pastures and fields, over fences and stiles, she went on until she stumbled on her skirts. She lay on the ground where she fell, not moving but only concentrating on the quick thud of her heart and the burning in her chest. The smell of grass and dirt fill her nostrils and except for a few chirping birds, all was silence. Time passed on and still she did not move. Drained of energy first by anger then by exercise, she could not move.

"Peace," she whispered to herself, "Shall I never be left in peace?"

"Laura!" It was Richard. "Laura where are you?"

She closed her eyes and did not answer, hoping that maybe he would pass her by.

"Laura! Oh God, Laura! What happened? Are you ill?" So he had seen her. She felt him kneel down next to her. "Please answer me, Laura."

She opened her eyes and looked up at him. "Leave me, Richard. Let me be alone for a while."

Richard took her hand. "No, I will not. Not until you tell me what is wrong."

The distress she saw in his face was more than she could stand. She did not want anyone to worry over her. "It is not your concern. Leave me."

His look grew stubborn. "You are wrong. It is my concern."

"Why?"

"Because I... care for you Laura. You are a friend. More than a friend..." He stopped there, not wanting to burden her with his feelings and wishes at this moment.

Something must have shown in his expression, for Laura gazed at him in wonder before saying, "I will tell you." Richard helped her to her feet and tucked her arm under his. They slowly walked back towards Glen Abbey. "You are probably wondering at my strange behavior."

"Mildly put, yes."

"Do you remember the first time we met?"

"Yes, you held me at gun point and had me terrified out of my wits."

Laura smiled slightly. "And do you remember our conversation about those pistols."

"You said they had been your father's and when I asked if you had ever shot someone with them, you replied in the affirmative. But what does this have to do with..." Richard looked at her, suddenly comprehending at what she was driving at. "You mean you shot your own cousin?"

"Francis is a rogue and a fool. When my brother and then my mother died, I became sole heir to my father's estate. My mother's family was not wealthy and Francis's father thought to enrich himself and his family by marrying me to his son. He had complete control over Francis, who would do anything his father said. And so he did. Old Mr. Porter encouraged his son to get me by any means possible." Laura shuddered slightly. "Francis thought, and still believes, that he is irresistible women and so could not understand my constant rejection of him. Fortunately, my father knew what my uncle was up to and refused to entertain the idea of a marriage between my cousin and I. And then after my father... after he..." Laura blinked back the tears that threatened to fall. I will not cry. "After Father died," she said again, "Francis and my uncle believed me to be without protection."

Richard stopped walking and turned her to face him. "That's when he..."

Laura nodded. "I went out riding one evening, as is my habit, and Francis followed me. It was his thinking that he would get me in a compromising situation and then I would be forced to marry him." She smiled grimly. "Of course I had prepared for this. You can imagine his surprise when he found I was armed although he did not seriously think that I would shoot him. I proved him wrong of course."

The Colonel felt a wild elation. That she should stand up for herself in such a manner was remarkable and it only made him love her that much more. "What happened then?" he asked.

"The bullet went through his arm. He was weak for the next few days because of blood loss. He seemed terrified of me for about that long but I believe he somehow convinced himself that it had been an accident. No lady would ever think of shooting another person."

"Did your uncle believe it was an accident?"

"I do not know but it would not have mattered to him. He wanted my estate too much." Laura's face darkened. "A few weeks later, horrible rumors about me began to circulate. Some people of the village began to shun me for my behavior, which was not to their liking, only confirmed these rumors. Some of those people had been my friends. Francis said that he could make it all stop if I married him. I told him I would rather die than marry him. That is when I wrote to my aunt and uncle Knight about my situation. They invited me to come live with them here in England." She could feel the tears threatening to fall once again. "And so I came to escape him, and everyone else who had turned against me at home. I wanted to make a new start. I thought I would finally be left in peace." In spite of herself, she did start to cry.

Her weeping tore at Richard's heart. Without knowing what he did, he gently embraced her and held her close.

"I found out later that he had started the rumors," she choked out. "I am afraid he will try it again and I will lose those whom I have only come to know and love. What will I do then without family or friends?"

Richard tilted her face up so he could look into her eyes. "No matter the circumstances, you will always have one friend. He shall not scare me off. But I think you underestimate your aunt and uncle. They know what sort of man he is and they will stand by you." He gently wiped the tears off her cheeks. "Cry no more, Laura. For in this, you are not alone."

"Thank you," she whispered. She pulled away from him and straightened herself. Richard could see by the slight set in her jaw and the hard expression in her eyes that her moment of vulnerability had passed. "It is time we go back," she said. "I will not let my cousin chase me out of this home." She narrowed her eyes, "And he and I shall also come to an understanding about the future we will not spend together," she said vehemently.

Chapter 12

Posted on Sunday, 11 March 2001

Three pairs of eyes stared angrily at Francis. Mr., Mrs., and Miss Knight were not happy to have him in their home but for the moment they had no other choice. It was discovered that the gentleman had a broken nose as a result of the earlier fiasco and now was being tended to by the local doctor. If not for that, Mr. Knight would have ordered him off his property without delay. The Darcys had gone home not long after the gentleman had been brought into the house, not wishing to intrude on family affairs.

"I thought I wrote to you and told you to stay away, Francis," Mr. Knight said after the doctor had left.

Francis stared at him in bewilderment. "What letter?"

Mr. Knight mentally calculated the weeks it would take to travel and suddenly realized what Francis had done. He glared at the gentleman. "You left soon after you posted your letter, did you?" he asked in a steely tone.

Francis shrank into his chair. "I-I f-felt certain of m-my welcome," he stammered. "I am family after all."

The sound of the drawing room door crashing open prevented Mr. Knight from replying. Laura stood in the entrance, looking ready to burst from a determined anger. Colonel Fitzwilliam stood silently behind her. She stormed into the room and stopped in front of Francis's chair. Her lips curled into a sneer as she towered over the cowering man. "You!" she spat. "I thought I told you that I never wanted to see you again."

"B-but cousin..." Francis tried to speak.

"BE QUIET!" she roared, stomping her foot for emphasis. Francis flinched but was silent. "Now you will listen to me and listen well." Laura's face hardened into a mask of contempt. "You disgust me," she growled. "You are a sniveling, conniving, lying weasel, a pathetic excuse of a man, and a disgrace to the God that created you. You will not accomplish whatever you hope to achieve here, not by any means. I have friends and family here who will defend me," she said, indicating the Knights and the Colonel, who still stood at the entrance, "so I suggest that you leave now and never return."

The silence after the tirade was horrible. Laura's anger crackled in the air and no one moved, as they were unsure if she would start speaking again. When she said nothing, Francis stood. He looked at all the unfriendly faces, hoping that someone would contradict his cousin. After several more moments of silence he rose from his seat and said, "I do not know what I have done to deserve such treatment." He gathered up his hat and cane. "You always were too wild for your own good Laura," he continued. "Your father should have controlled you better and I see your uncle has failed in that respect also. You need a firm hand to guide you."

"Enough, sir!" Mr. Knight said coldly. "We will hear no more of this. You will leave my house at once or I will have you thrown out."

Francis bowed stiffly and stalked towards the door, where Colonel Fitzwilliam still stood. The two gentlemen glared at each other as he walked by. Stopping just outside the door, Francis turned back and said, "This is not over Laura." And then he was gone.

James Knight grinned mischievously as he crept silently into the kitchen. He looked around and seeing nobody about, he made his way over to a large table. The attraction of that table was a bowl filled with several large apples. He was about reach up and take one when the Cook walked in.

"Master James!" she exclaimed. "Are you stealing apples again?"

James snatched back his hand and turned to face the Cook with guilty look on his face. Cook sighed and shook her head. "What am I going to do with you? You are turning into a downright thief, you are. Maybe I should tell the Missus," she said in a serious tone that belied the sparkle in her eye.

James hung his head in mock shame. "I am sorry ma'am," he mumbled.

Cook grinned. "Sure you are, you scamp." She picked up an apple and held it out to him. "Here you are. Might as well just give it to you now since you will be taking it as soon as my back is turned anyway."

The young lad looked up and grinned. He and Cook had been playing this game ever since he had grown tall enough to reach the table. It was one of his favorites. He took the apple from the good woman's hand and raced out the door. "Thank you!" he called back. As he ran through the house he thought it was time to play another game, "Hide From Mother."

Francis swore as he struggled with his saddle. He had gone directly to the stables after leaving Mr. Knight's house, to get his horse and hopefully take out his temper on some unfortunate stable hand. When he got there however, he found his horse unsaddled and no one to do it for him. He was forced to so it himself which only increased his ire.

"How dare she?" he muttered to himself. "How dare she humiliate me in such a fashion? Ha! She thinks she is too good for me but I will show her how wrong she is. I will bring her down. When I am done, she will be begging me to marry her."

A scuffling noise interrupted him and he looked down to see a small boy staring up at him. "Who are you talking to?" the boy asked.

Francis was about to send the boy off with a blistering tirade but something stopped him. He took in the likeness between the child and Mr. Knight. This might work to my advantage, he thought. Putting on his friendly smile, Francis said to the boy, "My horse. I find that they always behave better when one talks to them."

"Oh," said the boy. "Who are you?"

"I am Francis Porter," the gentleman said with a bow. "And who might you be?"

"James Knight," replied the boy.

"Ah! Then you are a cousin of Laura's?"

James's eyes brightened at the mention of his cousin's name. "You know Laura-la?" he asked.

Perfect, Francis thought, I can use this boy to get at Laura. "Yes I do. She is a nice woman, is she not?"

James nodded. "Yes. She is my best friend!" he proclaimed. "She always plays with me and tells me stories. I like her better than my brother, Marcus. He never wants to play."

"That is a shame," Francis sympathized. "Brothers can be tiresome. Are you playing a game now? Is that why you are in the stable?"

"How did you know that?"

"I guessed. Now what are you playing?"

"I am hiding from Mother," James said. "I always do it just before dinner because that is when she comes looking for me."

"And did you think to hide in here?"

"Yes but there is no place good to hide."

Francis grinned suddenly. "Well my boy, I might just be able to help you. I know of some very good spots to hide."

James bounced excitedly. "Will you show me?"

"Of course but only if you can wait a few minutes while I finish up here," Francis said.

"I can wait!"

"Wonderful, Francis murmured. Wonderful indeed.

"James?" Mrs. Knight called as she walked into the boy's room and looked under the bed. "James are you under here?" He was not. "James where are you? I insist that you come out this instant! Dinner is about to be served!" she said in a scolding voice while continuing the search of his room.

"He is not in here?" Laura asked as she walked into the room.

Mrs. Knight sighed. "No," she said. "And I have had everyone search the rest of the house. I believe he has finally taken to hiding outside."

Laura smiled. "I will have the servants start looking in the gardens then. No doubt we will find him soon."

"I certainly hope so. I would like to eat dinner sometime tonight. Is the Colonel dining with us?"

"Yes."

"Excellent. You know, I think I shall have him order James not to hide anymore. He is a colonel after all and maybe the boy will listen to him."

Laura chuckled and left Mrs. Knight to go downstairs. She summoned the housekeeper and told her that Master James was believed to be hiding outside. Leaving the task of organizing the search to the woman, Laura went out to look for James on her own. She had been at it for about ten minutes when a gardener approached her.

"Excuse me Miss, but a gentleman rode by a few minutes ago and told me to give this to you," the man said while holding out a note.

Laura took it and thanked him. She waited until he was out of sight before opening the note. She gasped when she read its contents.

Laura,

I have James. He is as yet unharmed. There is a small clearing in the woods south of the estate. Meet me there alone if you wish for his good health to continue.

~Francis

She crumpled the note in her hand and then ran to the stables.

Chapter 13

Posted on Thursday, 15 March 2001

Colonel Fitzwilliam wandered into the library at Glen Abbey in search of some amusement to occupy him while the household continued to look for James. He had dined with the Knights often enough to understand that the lad's disappearance around dinnertime was almost a daily occurrence and so thought nothing of the fact when his hosts left him alone to search the house. Indeed he was glad to have a few moments peace to think over the events of the morning.

The confrontation had been ugly and short. Laura had told her cousin exactly what she thought of him and ordered him from the house. After Francis had left, Laura believed she had effectively put an end to that gentleman's interference in her life despite his threat. Richard could not share her confidence. There had been something in Francis's eyes that he did not like.

The Colonel walked over to the window, which overlooked the drive leading up to the house. He rested his forehead on the cool glass and sighed. As long as Francis lived, he would probably never leave Laura alone... Not unless she was married to someone else... Someone who could protect her... He would do it. He would ask Laura to marry him tonight. Richard smiled suddenly. It was not as if he had not planned on asking her. He had meant to do it two days ago when Marcus so rudely interrupted him. He loved Laura. It was as simple as that. But now certain events had made it more urgent for him to propose and he would do it before the day ended, no matter what might happen.

Several shouts and the sound of a horse galloping down the drive caused Richard to glance up out the window. He was startled to see Laura riding away from the house. Now where is she going? Richard frowned. She had not been dressed in her usual riding attire so it was clearly an unplanned foray she was making. I wonder what could have made her take off like that? As he pondered this, he began to grow uneasy. He turned and quickly walked out of the library. He asked the housekeeper as to Mrs. Knight's whereabouts and was told she was in the gardens still looking for Master James. He made his way quickly outside and soon found the lady, who was quickly becoming annoyed at her youngest son.

"James!" Mrs. Knight called. "James this is no longer amusing! Come out at once! Your father will hear of this!" She turned to see Richard standing behind her. "Colonel Fitzwilliam!" she exclaimed. "I am sorry for the delay in dinner but James seems to have taken it into his head not to reveal himself."

Richard smiled. "It is quite understandable ma'am. I was a boy myself once. But I have not come out here to complain. I saw Miss Hayes ride out a couple of minutes ago and merely wondered why she suddenly left?"

Mrs. Knight looked startled. "Laura is gone? She did not say anything to me about it. I wonder if she told one of the servants or her uncle?"

The Colonel's uneasiness grew. "I think you should ask them."

The lady looked up at Richard's worried face. "You think something is wrong?"

"Yes I do."

"Come with me," Mrs. Knight commanded. Richard obediently followed her into the house. She made her inquires but no one knew why Laura had left so suddenly or where she had gone. "What do we do now Colonel?" she asked.

"I will go after Miss Hayes while you continue looking for your son," Richard replied.

"How will you find her?"

"There are a couple places that are favorite haunts of hers. I will begin there. After that, it will be sheer luck if I find her."

Laura reined in as she neared the edge of the forest and dismounted. She untied a sack from the saddle and opened it. Inside lay her father's two dueling pistols. She pulled them out along with some ammunition. She had needed these the last time she and Francis were alone and she did not intend to go with out them this time either. After carefully loading the pistols, Laura tried to find some way to conceal them. Unfortunately her gown did not offer much by the way of concealment. She finally resorted securing them to her waist with her sash. As she set out on foot towards the clearing, she only hoped the pistols would not fall out at an inopportune moment.

As Laura moved silently closer towards the clearing, she could hear voices coming from that area. It sounded as if James was crying. A minute later, she had a clear view of them both. Francis was pacing around in a circle, clearly agitated with the boy. James sat in the middle of the clearing, his face tearstained and looking extremely miserable.

Laura had hoped to somehow to get the boy away from Francis but that had depended in the element of surprise. With the pair situated directly in the center of the clearing, there was no way she would be able to reach James without Francis noticing. Well, she thought, if I cannot get James away by subterfuge, I will just have to confront Francis directly. She pulled both pistols out of her sash and walked boldly into the clearing.

James was the first to see her. "Laura-la!" he shouted and jumped up. He began to run towards her but Francis grabbed onto him and pulled him back.

"It is about time you came," the gentleman sneered. "I was beginning to wonder if you cared for the boy at all."

Laura brought her pistols up to aim at Francis. "Let James go," she demanded.

Francis gave her a haughty look. "And what if I do not?"

"Do not make me shoot you again, cousin. Let James go and I will let you walk away unharmed."

The gentleman laughed. "You will let me walk away? I highly doubt that." He pulled a knife out of his coat and pressed the tip into James's neck. "Throw away your pistols like a good girl and I will not hurt the boy."

Laura narrowed her eyes and began squeezing the trigger on one pistol. But she never fired off a shot as Francis swept the boy into his arms to use as a shield. The knife was quickly replaced at James's throat. "Throw them now!" Francis barked. "As far away as possible."

The lady knew that she had no other choice but to obey. She threw one to her right and the other to her left. Laura heard one crash into the underbrush of the forest and land with a soft thud onto the earth. The other did not have quite the force behind it and landed about twenty feet away. "What do you want Francis?" she asked.

"Merely to make a proposition," Francis said with a smirk.

"And that is?"

"Why only what I have been after all this time. Marriage of course."

"What makes you think I would marry you when I have repeatedly and emphatically stated otherwise? And kidnapping James will hardly induce me to accept your offer," Laura replied sharply.

"Ah but that is where you are wrong. You act as if you have a choice in this matter, my dear, but I shall relieve you of that notion now," Francis stated. "The three of us will be taking a journey together. Further north I believe. There we will find a church and be married. But in the mean time the boy will remain in my control. If you are quiet and obedient, then I will return him to his family after we are married. But show me one instance of bad behavior and I will take it out on the boy. Do you understand?"

Laura stared incredulously at the gentleman. "You are insane," she said.

"That may be but I am also perfectly serious. Now will you come along like a good girl or will I be forced to...ah...dispose of the boy?"

Chapter 14

Laura found it difficult to think as different emotions warred in her mind. She was incredulous; hardly able to believe Francis was capable of such a scheme and with that came fear. She was afraid for James. Yet hatred and anger where there. Every instinct made her want to grab a hold of Francis and beat him into the ground, regardless of the consequences. It would be so easy and so satisfying. With every moment that passed, the idea sounded better. Her hands clenched into fists. So easy...

"Well?" Francis demanded. "What is your answer Laura?"

The lady glared at the gentleman. Francis's face paled when he saw the raw hatred in her eyes but he held his ground. Laura opened her mouth, about to tell Francis what he could do with his offer, when a small whimper from James stopped her. James. She saw the pure terror written in every line of the boy's face. He did not understand exactly what was happening but he did know the bad man wanted to hurt him. In that moment, Laura realized what she had been about to do and what it would have cost James. She forced herself to push the anger back. She would agree, could do nothing but agree if it kept her little cousin safe. Another time, she promised herself.

"It seems I have no other choice but to agree," Laura said stiffly.

"That is where you are wrong," a new voice said.

Both Francis and Laura whirled to see Colonel Fitzwilliam standing at the edge of the clearing and holding one of Laura's dueling pistols. It was aimed for Francis's head. "Let the boy go, Porter," Richard commanded.

Francis brought the boy up as a shield against this new attack and kept the knife at his throat. "Drop it," he snarled.

Laura reacted without thinking. Taking advantage of Francis's distraction she ran for the other pistol and swept it up off the ground. She allowed herself a tiny smile of triumph before saying, "Do as he says Francis. You cannot use James to hide from both of us."

Frances turned his head and his eyes widened as he caught sight of Laura with the other pistol in her hand. His mind raced, trying to think of a way out of the situation but found none. In the end he was forced to do what they said. He put the boy down none too gently and glared at the lady.

Laura ignored him for the moment. "James," she said, "Come here." The boy obediently walked over to her. "I want you to leave this place James," she told him and with her free hand she pointed to the north. "Run that way. Keep running and do not stop, no matter what. Do you understand?"

James wiped away several tears and nodded. "Yes Laura-la."

"Good." She gave him a small smile. "The Colonel and I will shortly be out to find you. Then we will go home. Now go." She waited until James was out of sight before moving closer to Richard, all the while keeping her pistol trained on Francis. "Thank you for coming Richard," she said.

"You witch!" Francis spat. "I thought I instructed you to tell no one."

"And she did not," Richard said with a cold smile. "I knew Laura had left and decided to search for her. Fortunately, you picked a spot well known to both of us. This was the first place I looked."

Francis's eyes narrowed as he digested this information. His eyes glinted maliciously as he drew his own conclusions. "Ah, I see how it is," he said with a wicked smile. "This lonely, secluded spot. A pair of young lovers. I always knew you were no true lady, cousin." He gestured towards the Colonel as he said, "And how many other gentlemen have you had before him?"

"Why you..." Richard growled angrily. He began stalking towards the other gentleman but Laura restrained him.

"Stop, Richard," she commanded. "He is only baiting us."

"Were you hoping to marry this man?" Francis continued, unmindful of the dangerous light in Richard's eyes. "What a pity... I am afraid no man would want to marry a harlot like you. All excepting myself of course. And I would never hold it against you-your money would see to that."

Laura arched an eyebrow. "You flatter yourself Francis. I have never said I would marry, let alone wanted to marry. But even if I were the most notorious harlot in the country, desperate for a husband, I would never marry you. I would rather be dead," she said scornfully.

"Now there is an idea!" Francis snarled. The destruction of all his plans combined with his humiliation and Laura's contempt sent him into a blinding rage. Quite without thinking, he rushed at Laura, his knives poised and ready to strike.

The explosion from two pistol shots shattered the stillness of the woods. Francis froze in mid-stride. He seemed suspended in inaction for one long moment before he toppled slowly to the ground. He lay there unmoving while blood seeped from the single bullet wound in his chest.

"Oh my God," Laura whispered. She threw down her pistol and knelt beside Francis. Reaching out to roll him onto his side, she pulled back when he flopped lifelessly on his back. "I killed him," she said softly, looking up at the Colonel. She was horrified. She had never taken a life before and had never thought herself capable of it. But what made it worse was the relief she felt-relief that Francis could never bother her again.

Richard knelt beside her. He took one hand into his and said, "You are not responsible. I killed him."

Laura looked up from Francis's body. "Did you?"

"Yes."

The lady stared at him, trying to read his expression. Laura wanted it to be true. It was selfish of her, she knew, but she did not want carry the burden of knowing she had killed someone. For a moment she almost believed it... No, she knew Richard too well. He was also uncertain as to who bore the ultimate responsibility and was trying to hide it. Tears welled up in her eyes and she let them fall.

Richard did the only thing he could, he took her into his arms and held her. "Shhhh... It is all over," he whispered. "It is at an end."

Laura closed her eyes and rested against his shoulder. Yes, everything has indeed come to an end... And she wept for the way things had been and for what she must face.

Chapter 15

Posted on Monday, 19 March 2001

Glen Abbey erupted into chaos upon the return of Laura, Richard, and James. Mrs. Knight collapsed upon hearing of the danger her son and niece had faced. James burst into tears when his mama had fainted and Amelia unsuccessfully tried to comfort him. After sending for a maid to attend his wife, Mr. Knight had to restrain his eldest son from going out to the clearing to inspect Francis's body. At the same time, he and the Colonel were trying to decide what should be done about the situation. Servants went in and out of the room and the noise level was near becoming unbearable.

"Oh James, Mama will be fine. See? Mary has brought the smelling salts and she will be awake soon."

"Marcus! I thought I told you to stay in this room!"

"I was only going to the library Father."

"Bull! You were no more going there than to the moon! You will stay away from that clearing until Mr. Porter's body is removed."

"Awwwww... But why can I not see him Father?"

"Because it is not something you need to see, believe me."

"Sir, I think the only thing we can do is summon the magistrate. An inquiry is inescapable but I do not foresee any serious problems. Miss Hayes gave me the note he had written in which he admits to abducting James and then threatens his life."

"Yes, you are right of course. I will send a message to Mr. Harris at once. The sooner he is here, the sooner we can put this whole ordeal behind us."

The only island of stillness in the midst of all this confusion was Laura. After informing her family as to the earlier events, she had retreated to one end of the room and sat quietly in a comfortable armchair. She paid not the least bit of attention to the others in the room; her mind was completely occupied by other matters.

Francis dead... I cannot believe that I killed him. I never meant for it to come to this! D--- the man! If he had listened to me when I... But he gave me no other choice. I had to do it...did I not? I only wish...

Laura smiled bitterly. Wishing would do little good now. Francis had acted foolishly and had unfortunately paid for it with his life. He tried everything in his power to force her into marriage and failing that, he had settled for revenge-outright murder. He had not succeeded there either but with his death, he had revenged himself on her.

Yes, Francis, you have cost me something very dear. I never led what anyone would call a normal life and now I never shall... She fought back her tears as Richard's face appeared in her mind's eye.

"Laura?" a voice asked softly, recalling her to the present. Laura looked up to see the Colonel gazing worriedly down at her. "You have not said a word for the last half-hour... Is something the matter?" he asked.

The lady tried to force a smile but failed. "Besides the obvious you mean?" she replied. "No, there is nothing." She looked away.

Richard frowned. She was hiding something, he knew it, but now was not the time for confidences. And besides, he thought while trying to suppress a smile, I will be offering her something which will make her very happy. When I can get her alone that is... Then I will make her tell me what is wrong. But first to get her alone.He cleared his throat. "Um, Laura..." The lady turned back to him. "I would, ah, like to discuss something with you. Could we, ah..." He tilted his towards the door, indicating that he wanted to leave.

Laura's face remained calm but inwardly she was dying. No! He cannot mean to propose now! Oh God has this day not been terrible enough? I cannot face him today. Not with the answer I know I must give... Somehow I must put him off... And suddenly she had the answer. She let the fatigue she was feeling show in her face and posture. "Richard, I do not have the energy for a discussion. I was just thinking of retiring to my room and putting an end to this horrible day. I am sorry. I do not mean to disappoint you but it is only..."

The Colonel waved that away. He could easily see that she was tired and though he regretted it, he agreed to put of the business for today. "But I must talk to you tomorrow then," he said urgently. "Please."

Laura could do nothing but agree. "Tomorrow at three o'clock. Out in the garden." At least I have tonight to think on what I will say to him.

Forever searching... Never right... I am lost in oceans of night... Forever hoping I can find... Memories... Those memories... I left behind...

Laura stood at the edge of a cliff, a strong wind tossing her wild hair about, her arms reaching out to the stormy sky...

Fear gripped his heart as he ran towards her...

Even though I leave... Will I go on believing... That this time is real... Am I lost in this feeling... Like a child passing through... Never knowing the reason...

She faced him, her eyes filled with tenderness... His heart swelled with love... He knew that look was reserved for only him... He reached out to embrace her... She pulled back, her expression on of longing and anguish...

I am home... I know the way... I am home... Feeling oh, so far away...

Before his very eyes she began to fade... Now insubstantial as the mist... Now gone entirely... He cried out in despair...

Someday...

Richard awoke with a start. His heart was racing and his breath came in short gasps. It took him a minute to orient himself but when he found that he was indeed in his own room and not on some distant cliff, the Colonel lay back against his pillows with a sigh of relief.

What a nightmare! Why I have not had this particular one since I first met Laura... He turned onto his side and closed his eyes. Good dreams... I hope I have good dreams for the rest of the night.

When Laura entered the garden, she found the Colonel already waiting for her. She noticed the way he smiled as he looked up at her and had it been another time, that smile would have melted her heart. But today it only caused her exquisite anguish because she knew that by the time the interview was over the joy and love in his face would disappear.

"There you are!" he cried as he walked over to her. Taking her hand, Richard led to her a small bench situated nearby. He seated them both and gazed at her for a few moments. He was shocked at how fatigued the lady looked but in light of yesterday, he understood it. "Laura," he said, " I know this has been a terrible ordeal for you and now might not be the perfect time for me to ask this, but I promised myself not to let another day go by without..." He glanced down at their interlocked hands. "I love you Laura. I have from the first moment I saw you. I never thought that I would have the good fortune to fall in love, especially with a woman such as yourself. You are the sort of woman I never knew for whom I was looking." He looked beseechingly into her eyes. "Marry me?"

Much to Richard's astonishment, tears began sliding down Laura's cheeks. They were not tears of joy for the lady looked so sad-one could say heartbroken. Richard's mouth went dry as he remembered last night's dream and suddenly he had an awful feeling...

Laura wiped away her tears and stood. She walked a small distance away before turning back. "I would give anything in this world to say yes...but I cannot." Richard started to speak but she held up her hand and said, "Please. Let me continue." The gentleman nodded reluctantly. "This is difficult," she began, "more so than I had imagined... Richard, I do not feel that it would be prudent for us to marry. I am not like the other ladies. I am not refined, not accomplished, and many would say too independent for my own good. This did not bother me since I have never expected to fall in love and let alone receive a proposal of marriage. The consequences of my actions would only reflect on myself if I remained unmarried and I was content to keep it that way." Her eyes softened. "But then I met you and everything changed. In you I found a man who was not intimated by my behavior, who saw beyond it and loved me for what I was. Two days ago I would have joyfully accepted your proposal with only a passing thought for the effect I might have on your reputation. Two days... Is it not strange how a life can alter in so short a time? You told me yesterday in the clearing that you were the one who shot Francis. But you lied Richard-I could see it in your eyes. You are not at all certain."

"Maybe I am not," the Colonel replied, "but it does not matter. I love you still the same!" He stood and walked over to her. "Do you think it matters to me which one of us killed Francis? He was trying to hurt you Laura and he would have kept on until he finally succeeded. Death was the only way to stop him. And as for the rest of it, what do I care for people's opinion of your behavior? None of it means anything to me, only you."

"You care more than you would believe. You were raised in a genteel society, so how could you not? Though they love me dearly, even my aunt and uncle disapprove of my behavior. I know I have caused them some embarrassment already," the lady said. "If we married, you would expect me to act as a married woman should. It would stifle me and I would not be the Laura you fell in love with. I do not even think I am the same Laura anymore. You might be able to live with the idea that one of us took a life, but I have yet to live with myself." She looked up at him, her eyes pleading. "Do you not understand? As time went on, our differences would distance us and the love that we have would fade. In the end, we would be trapped and miserable. I would rather die than to see that happen."

"This is what you truly believe then... How could you think this of me?" Richard asked angrily. "How could you think that I would become so callous towards you? You do not know that we would be unhappy! But this I do know... By refusing me, you are condemning us to misery, unless you never loved me in the first place."

"I do love you!"

"Then marry me!"

"I cannot!" Laura cried.

Richard stepped back from her. His face had hardened into a mask of anger and displeasure. "Very well," he said. "I shall not take up more of your time. Good-day Miss Hayes." He bowed coldly and stalked from the gardens.

Laura sadly watched him go. It is for the best, she thought. But somehow she was not comforted.

Chapter 16

Posted on Sunday, 25 March 2001

"I am leaving tomorrow," Richard suddenly announced at breakfast. It was four days after his proposal to Laura.

Elizabeth, Georgiana, and Darcy all exclaimed at the suddenness of his resolution. "Why on earth are you leaving now Richard? You did not give us much notice! Is it necessary to leave so soon?"

"I feel it is time for me to leave. I intend to go to Matlock first and then on to my regiment. I have been away for far too long."

"But what about Miss Ha-" Georgiana started to ask. She stopped herself when she saw the mixture of anger and pain on Richard's face.

Darcy and Elizabeth saw it also. They exchanged significant glances and then Elizabeth stood. "Georgiana, I need to speak with you for a moment. Would you come with me please?

Darcy waited until both ladies had left the room before turning to the Colonel. "Now what is this all about Richard? You have been brooding about this house for the last few days. You have not been out and we could hardly get a civil word out of you. And now you are leaving."

Richard glared down at his plate. "She refused me Darcy."

"She? You mean Miss Hayes?"

"Who else did you think it was?"

"Ah. What were her reasons?"

"Some nonsense about her being to unsuitable for marriage."

"And you are just giving up?" Darcy asked incredulously.

"Laura is very stubborn, Darcy. She has got it into her head that she will make me unhappy and there is nothing I can say to change that."

"I see. Did it ever occur to you that she would make a terrible wife?"

Richard bashed his fist on the table, causing the dishes to rattle. "I do not care about that!" he nearly shouted. "I love...loved her!"

Darcy did not press the point further since it seemed to be a very sore issue with his cousin. "Well you cannot just up and leave Richard," he said. "You should at least pay a farewell visit to Glen Abbey-you owe the Knights that bit of courtesy. We will go this evening."

"I do not think-"

"Maybe the lady has had second thoughts."

Mrs. Knight knocked on Laura's bedroom door. "My dear," she pleaded, "will you not come down for dinner?"

There were several moments of silence and then a muffled reply. "No thank you Aunt, I am not hungry."

"Laura it has been four days and you have hardly eaten a thing. You must come down." Mrs. Knight waited but received no answer. She sighed and walked down the hallway where she met her daughter.

"Is Laura not coming down again?" Amelia asked.

"No." The lady's face was lined with worry. "I do not know what is wrong with that girl!" she exclaimed. "I have tried talking to her but she just retreats into herself. Colonel Fitzwilliam has not visited during this time and I am beginning to believe that they quarreled. What else could make Laura act so?"

"Do you want me to talk with her, Mama? She might confide in me," Amelia offered.

"Would you?" Mrs. Knight asked in relief. "It would put me at ease to know what is troubling her. Then we can set about helping her."

"Of course." Amelia squared her shoulder and walked down to Laura's room. She knocked once before letting herself into the room. She spotted Laura curled up in an armchair, staring moodily into the empty fireplace. "Laura?" she called tentatively.

"What is it Amelia?" Laura asked without looking up.

Amelia crossed the room and seated herself in an armchair across from her cousin. She wondered if there was a subtle way to bring up the Colonel but decided against it. Subtly would give Laura a chance to avoid probing so she decided to be straightforward. "What did you and Colonel Fitzwilliam quarrel over?" she asked.

Laura's head snapped up and she gaped at her cousin. "How did you find out about that?" she demanded.

Amelia shrugged. "It was not too difficult to guess. The Colonel has not been to see you in four days and you taken to being a hermit. So are you going to tell me what it was about or will I have to force it out of you?"

Laura's shoulders sagged as she looked away from her cousin. "Richard asked me to marry him-"

"That is wonderful!"

"-and I refused."

"Why?"

"For a couple of very good reasons. I would rather not speak of it, Amelia. It is still too painful." Laura gave her cousin a small smile to take the sting out of her words. "I will tell you one day, but not now."

Amelia wanted to protest but knew it would do no good. "Do not be too long about it, Cousin," she said as she left for dinner.

It was near dusk when Laura heard hooves clattering up the drive. She rose and went to her window in time to see Darcy and Colonel Fitzwilliam dismounting from their horses and climbing the short flight of stairs to the front door. She gasped.

What is he doing here? I cannot face him! I must leave before I am summoned below...

Laura whirled and ran to a small dresser. She wrenched open one of the drawers and pulled out her usual riding attire. After picking up her boots, she quickly made her way to the door. She opened it and peered down the hallway.

No servants yet. Good.

She went into a nearby guest room and changed from her gown to the breeches and shirtsleeves she so favored. She left the boots off so as to make no noise while going down the back stairs and outside. There was no one to see her going to the stables. She saddled her horse quickly and was away before Mrs. Knight was made aware of her absence.

Richard rode alone back to Pemberley, having left Darcy to discuss some business with Mr. Knight. He had made his visit as short as civility would allow since there was no Laura to keep him there. It was disappointing. He had hoped she would be there, ready to tell him that it had all been a mistake, that she would marry him. But she had not and it finally drove home the reality of her refusal. There had not been much reason to stay after that.

A quick motion teased at the corner of the Colonel's vision and he turned his head to see what it was. A rider with long, flowing hair was galloping in his direction, jumping over fences and fallen trees with wild abandon. Just as I first remember seeing her, Richard thought. The rider caught sight of him, slowed, and came to rest a dozen yards away. Richard bowed in his saddle and said coldly, "Miss Hayes."

Laura felt her heart racing but managed to look composed. She nodded. "Good evening Colonel Fitzwilliam. What brings you out this way?"

"I had come take my leave of the Knights. I am leaving tomorrow for home and then my regiment."

The lady's face paled. "Leaving?" she gasped before she realized it. She cursed herself inwardly afterward. Of course he would be leaving. Did you actually think he was going to stay?

Richard watched her reaction with interest. He had wondered what the knowledge of his leaving would do to her. Hopefully it would bring her to her senses.

Laura "I wish you a good and safe journey then," she said in a shaky voice. She urged her horse forward.

The Colonel was shocked. He had expected more of a reaction than that. How can she be so cold? Anger boiled up inside him. "Wait!" he commanded harshly. Laura reigned in and turned back to face him. "Is that all you have to say?" he asked incredulously.

"What did you expect?" Laura replied.

"A bit more feeling! After all that we have been to each other, all you can say is 'Have a good and safe journey'? I wonder if you ever cared for me at all!" Richard spat. He regretted those words almost as soon as they were out.

Laura fought back the tears that threatened to fall. I cannot go home like this. I must get away from here. She turned her horse back in the direction they came and spurred it on. Now the tears did fall.

Richard watched her go. He had hurt her terribly and nothing he could say would undo it.

The tears were falling fast. Laura could hardly see but she kept on riding. It was imperative that she put distance between herself and the Colonel...then she could grieve openly. She was vaguely aware of the fallen tree in the middle of the road for she had jumped it earlier. She felt the horse gather speed and prepared herself for the jump... Only it never happened. Her horse reared, refusing the jump. Laura was pitched forward. As she landed, she felt a sharp pain coarse through her chest and heard a loud 'Snap!' as her body slammed into the tree. The force of the impact threw her back and she rolled up into a sitting position.

Some part of Richard's mind screamed at him to move, do something to help her, but it was all over so quickly. Laura looked up at him, her expression dazed, as she clutched at her chest. A red blot appeared on her white shirt and quickly grew. Much to Richard's horror, her face blanked as she slowly toppled to the ground.

"Laura!" he cried hoarsely. He threw himself from his saddle and ran over to her. Kneeling over her, he saw what caused her to bleed. The fallen tree had many dried and broken branches were still attached. One had pierced Laura's chest when she had landed and had broken off inside her. He pulled her into his arms. "Laura! Oh God, Laura open your eyes! Please Laura!"

"Richard," she moaned softly, her eyes opening slightly. "What are you yelling for?"

The Colonel half sobbed, half laughed as he held her tightly. He was out of control and he knew it. "I am sorry, Laura. This is entirely my fault. But you will be fine. I shall get a doctor and then you will be better," he rambled.

Laura coughed violently. "Richard, stop, please."

"But I must-"

"No, Richard. It will not help."

The gentleman stared down at her, letting the full implications of her words sink in. "NO!"

Laura smiled sadly. "Yes. I am afraid so." She coughed again, her eyes clouding over with pain as her body jerked with each one. "I love you Richard," she said after the last of them died down. "No matter where I am, I always will. Do not doubt it."

A tear slid down Richard's cheek. "I know," he said. "In my heart I never did."

"Thank you." Laura sighed. "I will see you again. Someday..." she whispered.

"I will hold you to that," Richard replied through his tears.

Laura gave him a weak smile and closed her eyes. Her breathing grew shallower with every breath as she slowly slipped away. Minutes passed as the evening fell and Laura was gone with the setting of the sun.

Chapter 17

Posted on Thursday, 3 May 2001

Author's note: This last bit is dedicated to Tabbi W. patiently put up with all my whining and self-doubts through the whole story. Thanks for editing this woman and for giving me a kick in the pants when I needed it! *grins*

"Uncle Richard, look at what I made!" a small girl exclaimed proudly as she dropped a jumble of brightly colored string and twigs on his lap.

Richard bestowed one of his rare smiles on the girl. "It is lovely, my dear. Thank you. I shall put right here on the night stand where I can see it better." The little girl beamed at him.

A tall gentleman appeared at the Colonel's bedroom door. "Laura! What are you doing in here?" he asked. "I though I told you not to bother the Colonel." Laura looked down sheepishly but was not at all apologetic.

"I do not mind James," Richard replied, patting the girl fondly on the head. "She always brings a bit of sunshine into an old man's life. And besides, I never could resist a lady bearing gifts."

James Knight-Hayes smiled. It was true that little Laura's presence always had a brightening effect on the Colonel. She had since the day she was born. In the years after the elder Laura's death, the Colonel had become morose and withdrawn. It was even more marked when he returned home from the fighting on the Continent. It was whispered that Richard had lost the will to live but had not the inclination to do himself in. And so it was he took unnecessary risks in the war against Napoleon, hoping that someone else would do him the favor of ending his misery. That someone had certainly tried their best. He received grave wounds while in action and almost died from them. Almost. His injuries did have a terrible price and he returned to England, destined to live out the rest of his life as an invalid.

For reasons very few people could understand, Richard asked to stay with the Darcys at Pemberley instead of with his family at Matlock. Darcy and Elizabeth took pity on him since they did know the reason behind his request-he wanted to be near Laura. James had much reason to be grateful to the Darcys for their decision. Richard's residence at Pemberley resulted in his family visiting there quite often and that was how James met his wife. Lady Samantha Fitzwilliam was the youngest daughter of Viscount Stephan Fitzwilliam, Richard's eldest brother and now the Earl of Matlock. Many members of the ton had been shocked that the Earl would have allowed their marriage since Lady Samantha could have made a brilliant match with a gentleman of the nobility. Younger sons of country gentlemen, with no prospects save that of an occupation, should not have been able to offer for an earl's daughter. But when James reached his majority, he had two things most younger sons did not-a comfortable home and an income of four thousand pounds a year. It was Laura's last and greatest gift to him.

Upon leaving her homeland for England shortly after the death of her father, Laura's thoughts tended toward the morbid. When she arrived in London, she sought out her uncle and engaged him to find a lawyer to draw up her will. Mr. Knight was thoroughly shocked that his niece would be thinking of such things, especially at her young age, and was even more so when she announced who her heirs would be. He tried to talk her out of it, stating that she had many years let to live and that she might marry and have children someday but Laura was adamant. Her father had left his estate in England, which had come into his possession after he migrated to America, and the bulk of his money in her complete control. She never meant to marry anyway and so had to leave it to someone who was not Francis Porter. Mr. Knight gave in and the will was drawn up. In it she had bequeathed Marcus a sum of two thousand pounds, mostly as a remembrance since he was to inherit his father's estate. Amelia was to have ten thousand pounds in addition to the five thousand she would receive upon her marriage. To James went the rest of the estate, which included Moorsdale, her ancestral home. When he received his inheritance, James had also taken Laura's surname to honor her memory and to continue the Hayes family line.

All of this had given James the courage to offer his hand in marriage to Lady Samantha and she had readily accepted. Theirs was a marriage of love and little Laura was the only child of their union so far. The day she was placed into Richard's arms, was the day that gentleman had produced his first genuine smile in many years. He was honored when James asked him to become her godfather and she was soon his favorite among all his nieces and nephews. When the Hayes came to visit Pemberley, the first words out of Richard were "Where is my little niece? Where is Miss Laura?"

"Woolgathering James?" that very same gentleman asked, breaking into James's reverie.

"Yes, I suppose so," he answered, wondering just how long he had been standing there. "What was I doing?"

Richard's faded eyes sparkled with suppressed mirth. "You came to retrieve this little rascal of yours," he replied.

"Ah yes! My wife was looking for her earlier." James's reached out and took his daughter's hand. "Say goodnight to your uncle, Laura."

"Goodnight, Uncle Richard," said the little girl.

"Goodnight Laura. Thank you for the gift," replied the gentleman, holding up the lump of string and twigs.

Laura broke from her father's grip and climbed up onto the bed into Richard's lap. She gave him a hug and kissed his cheek. "Your welcome!" she exclaimed happily before jumping off the bed and running out of the room with James following close behind.

Richard smiled after them and then picked Laura's gift off his nightstand. He settled more comfortably down into his bed and chuckled over the little girl's handiwork.

She is a clever one, he thought. That girl is turning out be more like her namesake every day, though I fervently hope that she has a better fate...

From there, his thoughts moved on to the Laura of old. He ruminated, as he had done many times in the years since Laura's death, on what had been and what might have been. These well-worn thoughts were not enough to keep him awake and he found himself slowly drifting off to sleep.

The next morning brought much sorrow to the people of Pemberley. Colonel Fitzwilliam had died in his sleep, still clutching the young Laura's gift.

Epilogue

Lambton, Derbyshire: One hundred and fifty years later...

Laura Hayes struggled out of her backpack and dropped to the ground with a sigh of relief. Its weight had become unbearable, as she had biked the fifteen miles from Moorsdale to Lambton. I wonder what possessed me to do this anyway? It's not like Grandma refused to drive me or anything. Man, I'm going to sore tomorrow, she thought. She peeled off her thin jacket and spread it on the ground. Slowly, she sat down on it with a sigh. You know why you did it. This is something you have to do yourself. She stretched out her legs and looked around at her surroundings.

The small church off to her right was an old gray stone building sitting in the middle of a green lawn, surrounded by a low wall made of the same stone. A quite neighborhood bordered one enclosure and a road passed on the other side. It too was quiet except for some occasional traffic. Behind the church was a small cemetery and it was for this Laura had traveled. It was then she turned her attention to the two headstones in front of her. They were worn with time but she was still able to read the inscriptions on each.

Laura Hayes
b. 1791
d. 1814

Col. Richard Fitzwilliam
b. 1782
d. 1847

Laura gazed at the markers and felt a kind of wondering awe. She had heard so much about these two. Their story passed down through generations of the Hayes family, taking on mythical proportions as it went. But sitting there, looking at those headstones made it all real and Laura began to think of these two tragic figures as people, not some character out of a story. For the first time, she was proud that her father had adhered to the tradition that James Knight-Hayes began of naming the first-born Hayes daughter Laura. It kept her family history, and the memory of the woman who had given the family that history, alive.

Not that Mom was necessarily happy with it!

Rosalind Hayes had chosen another name for her baby daughter and was upset when Orrin insisted upon following the family tradition. He pointed out that he had agreed to live in the United States to stay near Rosa's family instead of settling in England to be near his family. The least she could do was allow her husband the small favor of naming their daughter. Rosa had given in at last but not very gracefully.

So intent Laura was upon her thoughts that she did not hear someone approach behind her until he spoke.

"There's an interesting story about the two people buried there."

Laura yelped with surprise and turned to see who was speaking. She found herself looking up at a tall man who looked to be a few years older than her, not handsome, but did have an infectious smile. His eyes danced in amusement at her reaction, almost as if he meant to surprise her. "Pardon me, did I frighten you?" he asked, his smile growing wider.

"Y-yes you did!" Laura panted, her heart still pounding from the shock.

"I'm sorry, I won't do it again."

"I'd appreciate it," Laura replied. "Now what did you say?"

"Only that there's an interesting story about those two," the man replied, waving at Laura and Richard's headstones. "Very sad but romantic."

"How do you know about that?" Laura asked. As important as the story was to her family, she didn't think it was that remarkable to spread beyond it.

"Colonel Fitzwilliam was an ancestor of mine-a distant cousin I think," the man replied. "Anyway, the story's been passed down in my family for generations. My mother still gets all teary-eyed when she hears it."

"An ancestor... Who are you?" It was rude of her, but Laura couldn't think of a better way to ask.

The man grinned. "I should have introduced myself before. Rick Fitzwilliam." He held out his hand.

Laura took it and said, "Nice to meet you, Rick. I'm Laura Hayes." She enjoyed the look on his face as the name registered in his mind. Payback, she thought smugly.

"You're pulling my leg, right?" Rick asked.

Laura shook her head. "Nope."

"Strange coincidence then..."

"Not really considering that the other Laura was my ancestor and that I was named for her."

Rick stared at her for several moments before he burst out laughing. Laura grinned before she too started to laugh. "Well I shouldn't be surprised," Rick, said, "I knew there were some of the Hayes family still running about in the world." He cleared his throat and looked at his watch. "Well since it's late afternoon, I suggest we grab a bite to eat and have a chat."

Laura arched an eyebrow. "Do you always ask out strange women who you just met in a cemetery?"

"Strange? Well you might be at that but if you mean the two of us being complete strangers, then I'll have to disagree with you."

"Oh?"

"We are very distantly related through marriage after all and family can never be strangers." Rick smirked triumphantly.

Laura gazed at him helplessly and threw her hands in mock defeat. "Ok, ok you win! I see there's no use arguing with you."

"I think you will find out how true that is once we get to know each other better."

"That sounds like a threat."

"It was. Now, where shall we go?" Rick asked, helping Laura to her feet.

"Well there was this small café that looked interesting..." she replied as they made their way out of the cemetery and onto the road. Their talk and laughter eventually faded away as they moved down the road, leaving the church and graveyard quiet once again.

A filmy figure, clad in a Regency style gown separated itself from the shadow of the church. It was soon followed by two other figures as insubstantial as the first. The lady glanced up at the taller of the two gentlemen and said, "After all this time, they finally have a chance at happiness."

The tall gentleman smiled down at her. "They deserve it Elizabeth."

The other man in their group nodded fervently. "That they do. Do you think they know..."

"Who they really are?" Darcy finished. "I doubt it James."

"It does not matter I suppose. I wish them all the luck in the world."

Elizabeth and Darcy said nothing as they watched the two figures retreat in the distance. Then as quietly as they had appeared, the trio returned back into the shadows.

The End.

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