-- Chapter 8 - It's how I see you --

“Yuuki!”

The bedroom door opened a moment later and an auburn haired girl stood there, large chocolate eyes enquiring. She held a large sketch pad in one hand and a pencil case in the other.

“Ah, there you are! Can you help me with dinner? I just thought of a new recipe I’d like to try out…” beamed Chairman Cross, his arms laden with shopping bags. The slightly dishevelled appearance of his gray streaked brown ponytail was testament to the brisk wind outside.

The expressive brown eyes registered a flash of disappointment before Yuuki smiled. "Of course..." The older man looked down at the sketch pad and relented. “OK, I need to marinate the meat first anyway. You can have an hour to do your sketching first…”

Yuuki beamed and whooped for joy, throwing her arms exuberantly around her adopted father and causing him to drop a bag in the process. “Hey, that’s enough…” said the Chairman, chuckling and protesting half-heartedly.

Before he could say anything else, Yuuki had bent down, scooped up the fallen bag and hooked it onto one of his fingers before flying down the corridor and across the living room. Pushing up his glasses again, the Chairman smiled resignedly, shuffled back down the corridor and turned into the kitchen to start preparations for dinner.

Yuuki collapsed onto the grass, letting the sketch pad and pencil case drop beside her. She was rather out of breath after running all the way from the main building, across the pathways and up the small hill where a large shady tree overlooked a good sized lake. It was Zero’s favourite spot but he was nowhere to be found right now. She suspected he was still at the stables, giving the bad tempered mare, White Lily, a good rubdown after his ride.

Yuuki bit into the juicy apple in her hand; she’d snagged it from the kitchen on her way out. Now, she moved to lean back against the trunk of the tree, opened her sketch pad to a blank page, and propped the pad before her, using her jeans-clad legs as a makeshift easel. Taking another bite of her apple and swiping a drop of juice off her chin with a finger, she surveyed the scenery in front of her.

After a moment, Yuuki dug out one of her charcoal pencils – she’d gotten a rather nice set as a past birthday present from Zero – then glanced at her wristwatch. She had about fifty minutes to indulge in her hobby without sacrificing precious sleep for once, and her lips curved in smile of pure delight.

The pencil started flying across the page as a scene of the lake with the mountains in the distance stated taking shape on the blank paper. Only the distant birdsong and the muted scratch of her pencil broke the silence, interspersed with juicy bites of the apple held in her left hand

Her right arm kept the wind from flipping the page she was working on but it teased the left side of the paper instead. Impatiently, Yuuki brought up her knees a little more, but the paper still fluttered under her hand. Finally, she used her left elbow to keep the paper down, causing the apple in her hand to hover beside her left ear.

Yuuki didn’t hear the soft, almost inaudible footsteps of someone coming up the hill or even that someone dropping to their knees behind her until a long fingered hand closed around the fingers of her left hand. Even white teeth took a huge bite out of her apple before her hand was released. Yuuki started, almost dropping the fruit in her surprise. She stared at what was left of her large Fuji apple, a large chunk of its sweet crunchy flesh missing.

Indignantly, Yuuki swung her head to the left, almost earning herself a crick in the neck in the process, shiny auburn hair swinging around her shoulders. “Zero…! Go get your own apple - this is mine!”

Zero chewed and swallowed. “Yumm, sweet…” He settled down on the grass beside Yuuki, eyeing the apple in her hand again. Her soft sweet scent drifted to him and he sniffed appreciatively as he lounged there contentedly.

“I’m hungry and it’s not dinner time yet…” Zero wiped the sweat off his forehead with his sleeve before glancing hopefully at the Yuuki's apple again.

“Huh-uh” Yuuki held the apple straight out in front of her, ignoring the wild flapping of the paper as it was released from her elbow.

Zero made a sudden grab for her hand and Yuuki jerked forward, squealing. She swung her left hand to the right, keeping her precious apple away from him. Undeterred, Zero simply grabbed her left arm in his right hand and started pulling it back towards her, exerting only enough pressure to pull her arm without hurting her. Yuuki shrieked, elbowing him wildly with her left elbow.

“No, it’s mine, Zero. Stop it!” she gasped out, elbowing him again and giggling helplessly at the same time. In a couple of seconds, he had seized her wrist and was bending forwards again. A very audible crunch sounded before her wrist was released and she inhaled indignantly, seeing another huge bite taken out of her apple.

Turning, she glared straight into amused amethyst eyes as Zero continued to chew and swallow. Yuuki pursed her lips at him. “Go… get… your… own.” she said, pronouncing each word with care. Keeping her gaze on him, Yuuki bit into the apple, noticing distractedly that her own bite was woefully small compared to his.

Zero smirked before he settled down more comfortably on the grass beside her, bending his left leg and resting his left arm casually on his knee. He was disinclined to go into the kitchen at the moment as he had spied the Chairman coming back earlier from his shopping trip. “Are you done?” he asked, nodding at her sketchpad.

“Almost…” Yuuki said absently as she pencilled in a few more strokes to form the mountains. She eyed her drawing critically. “Well…” she said. It was OK she supposed. She glanced up at Zero.

“Are you done with your chores?” she asked in return. She could smell sweat on him, both his and White Lily’s and she breathed it in, loving the scent… the sheer familiarity of it. Of the comforting feelings it surfaced in her.

Biting thoughtfully into her apple, oblivious of a captivated Zero staring at her small white teeth, Yuuki glanced at his left hand. A vague memory stirred in her mind - hadn’t she promised herself she would sketch those beautiful hands one day? No time like the present, right? Quickly, she glanced at her watch – there was still slightly less than half an hour to go…

Suddenly losing interest in the half eaten fruit she’d been jealously guarding a minute ago, Yuuki took a final bite before tossing what was left of it to Zero. “Here…” Deftly, he caught it in his right hand as she’d known he would. Shifting to her left to face him, she cautioned, “Don’t move” as she flipped to the next blank page in her sketchpad.

Zero paused just as he was about to bite into the apple. “Why?” he asked suspiciously.

Yuuki glanced up at him. “You can eat, I just want your left arm and leg…”

Finally realising what Yuuki intended to do, Zero shifted as if about to get up and Yuuki fixed him with a glare. “No – don’t move, Zero!” He raised an eyebrow. “Please?” she wheedled with smile.

It was irresistible to Zero and he relented, remaining where he was as he finished the apple quickly and dropped the core beside her pencil case. He watched her as she caught her lower lip between her teeth again and her pencil flew rapidly over the paper, her eyes flicking up and down from his left hand back to her paper.

A small frown appeared between the delicate eyebrows as Yuuki became absorbed in the sketch – fingers were after all, not the easiest thing in the world to draw - and Zero took the opportunity to observe her quietly. Did she know how beautiful she was? he wondered. Did she have any idea how soft her shiny hair looked, teased by the wind, making him long to finger the silky strands? Did she realise that her small frown always made him want to touch his lips to the delicate crease to smooth it out? Was she aware of how much he ached to kiss those pink lips whenever she caught at her lower lip like that? Did she know how he longed to taste again each of those slender fingers now gripping one of the charcoal pencils he’d bought for her?

Swallowing, he glanced away. No, Yuuki wasn’t aware of any of these things… she never would… not unless he told her. And he couldn’t never tell her that, because he knew how she felt about him…

Completely oblivious to Zero’s inner dilemma, Yuuki hummed softly to herself as her pencil glided over the paper. A soft smile formed on her lips – she’d managed to sketch his hand much better than the lake just now…

“OK – done!” she exclaimed happily. Dropping her pencil onto the grass, she turned the sketchpad to face Zero. “Well, what do you think?” she asked.

Zero blinked and glanced at the sketchpad. His eyebrows rose as he saw a disconnected arm and hand resting on a jean-clad knee. It was obviously his hand and knee, recognising the wristwatch she’d added.

“Hey… pretty good” he commented. He glanced up at her and offered her one of his rare small smiles. Yuuki saw no reason for such conservativeness now when there was no one around and she stared at him suspiciously. “Smile like you mean it, Zero…”

His smile widened and Yuuki smiled back when she saw his dimple appear. “Much better” she said approvingly. She glanced at her watch – ten minutes… what else could she sketch? Her eyes trailed to Zero’s face again but she knew he would never willingly sit for her… she had to use her own memory for that…

Zero caught Yuuki’s left hand in his own. “Sketch both our hands” he suggested in what he hoped was a casual tone.

Yuuki’s eyebrows shot up as she looked at him. Then she glanced at their clasped hands. Well… it could be interesting… two different sets of fingers…

“OK” she agreed. She’d only used half a page to sketch Zero’s hand and she took up her pencil again.

“Wait, Yuuki…” Zero placed his left hand palm down on top of hers, interlacing his warm fingers with her slender ones. “OK, go…”

Yuuki gave him a brief smile before her pencil started flying across the paper again. Zero bent forward slightly, seeing an image of their clasped hands swiftly taking shape on the paper. He really shouldn’t, but…

Yuuki’s pencil slipped as Zero’s left thumb moved below, caressing the centre of her sensitive palm. She gasped. “Hey, don’t do that…” Vexed, she glared at him for a moment before she dug in her pencil case for her eraser.

“Sorry” murmured Zero, keeping his lips schooled. He waited until Yuuki had started sketching again for about half a minute before he ran his thumb down the outer side of her thumb, all the way from the tip down to her wrist, as far as he could reach. Yuuki’s pencil jerked and she muttered a curse under her breath before glaring at him again. “Zero! You know I can’t draw properly when you do that!” Huffing, she reached for her eraser again.

“I do?” murmured Zero, unable to stop a rather wicked grin this time. “Your hands are really sensitive, huh…”

Yuuki glared at him again. Suddenly, an image of Zero, sitting on her bed and licking her fingers after he drank her blood on the morning of the past dance came to mind and she started blushing. Quickly, she glanced down at the paper then peeped up at Zero. He was looking at her intently and she knew. She knew that he knew what she was thinking. And she knew that he knew that she knew what he was thinking…

Flustered, she pulled her hand back but he resisted. “Time’s up, Zero, I have to go help Fa – umm… him…” Again. Shit... A soft chuckle sounded and Yuuki bit her lip. She knew Zero was fully aware that she only ever called their adopted father as such when she was flustered about something. To top it off, Chairman Cross wasn’t even here…

“Want another go?” asked Zero, raising an eyebrow at her, his lips twitching as he tried hard to keep from grinning. Yuuki was just too easy to read… but he couldn’t deny he wanted to taste her fingers again…

Yuuki tried pulling her hand back again. “No! Let go, Zero!”

“In a minute…”

Yuuki stopped tugging. “Why?” she demanded.

“Because.”

“Because? Because of what?” Yuuki stared as Zero turned her captured hand upwards and pressed his lips to her soft palm before his tongue took over. She forgot what she wanted to say, where she was supposed to go, what she was supposed to do… Zero closed his eyes, letting his senses fill with Yuuki – her smell, her touch, her taste, her slightly hitching breath…

He stopped a long moment later and opened his eyes. Yuuki was looking at him, her eyes huge, her lips parted. Zero wasn’t even aware of the low growl he’s uttered deep in his throat as he bent closer to her. Yuuki stopped breathing completely – Zero looked as if he wanted to kiss her… and she… she… A part of her wanted to stop him… a part of her wanted the kiss.

Zero stopped short when he saw the conflicting emotions in Yuuki’s eyes and the overriding confusion. He muttered a fervent curse as he pulled back and released her hand.

There was a moment of awkward silence as they both glanced away. Then Zero looked back at Yuuki, gravely. “You’d better go, otherwise your dear Father will come looking for you…”

Yuuki hesitated, then nodded. “Yeah…” Her gaze dropped to her sketchpad.

“I’ll take your things to your room” he offered.

“OK” said Yuuki in a rather small voice as she got up and brushed off her jeans. Zero stood up as well and stretched. “I have to shower anyway, I stink…” He bent down to pick up her things and the apple core. The Chairman was a stickler for cleanliness and he had drilled his thoughts on littering into both Yuuki and Zero as well as all the other teachers, staff and students of Cross Academy.

“No, you don’t” muttered Yuuki before she could stop herself. Zero straightened up. “I don’t what?” he asked absently. Yuuki didn’t look at him. “You don’t stink, Zero, and you know it” she mumbled.

Zero couldn’t stop the rather pleased smile that she thought so even though it wasn’t the first time she’d said it.

“Prove it.”

“Huh?”

Zero dropped the things he was carrying and pulled Yuuki into a sudden hug, her back against his rather damp T-shirt, making Yuuki squeal again. “Kyaaaaa! Let me go, you’re all sweaty…!” Zero tightened his arms around her and chuckled, his lips next to her ear. “I thought you didn’t mind...?” he murmured.

Yuuki struggled to free herself. “I don’t but I didn’t say you could hug me as and when you like!” she scolded crossly. Zero held her close for a moment longer before he released her.

Yuuki tossed her head as she started down the hill, refusing to look at him.

“You smell good, Yuuki.”

He watched her pause for a moment, irresolute, then she tossed her head again and continued down without looking back at him. Zero thought he heard muttering and grinned to himself. Picking up the fallen things, he strolled after her but let her hurry on ahead.

In Yuuki’s room, Zero tossed the pencil case and sketchpad onto her desk. There was a folder with comb binding on her desk, with the pages flipped open and Zero saw a sketch.

His curiosity aroused, Zero sat down at her desk and started flipping through the thick folder. It was half filled and Zero suspected this was where Yuuki kept the completed sketches that she wanted to keep. There were many images of Kuran Kaname – front profile, side profile and even one full length, dressed in the Night Class school uniform – she’d shaded in the shirt and left the coat white.

Zero’s lips tightened as his blood surged angrily even thought it was only to be expected; Yuuki had been infatuated with the handsome and charismatic Dorm Leader since… well, since her earliest memories. And even Zero had to admit he’d been unfailingly kind and gentle with her – on the surface at least - evident by each of the charcoal renderings of the pureblood that held an expression of infinite tenderness with a gentle smile – it was simply how Yuuki saw the pureblood.

He flipped quickly, not wanting to see the deep affection Yuuki had obviously put into each one. Then he found one sketch that showed Kuran in profile. There was something in the graceful lines of the pureblood that he couldn’t quite place at first. Then he realised it was… loneliness. He stared at the drawing. There was once or twice he’d sensed it as well… the times he’d seen the pureblood looking at Yuuki when she wasn’t aware of his scrutiny, even though Kuran knew he had her practically eating out of his hand. Yuuki could be very perceptive in some ways, despite that bubbly personality of hers…

There was even one that depicted the pureblood leader in a white well-cut tuxedo and Zero knew when it had been sketched – recently… He didn’t need to see the recent date scrawled at the bottom of the paper or the faint images of dancing couples in the background to realise what the occasion had been. Scowling, Zero turned the page quickly. He completely forgot the fact he was in Yuuki’s room, rifling through what was obviously her ‘private’ collection…

Zero continued flipping the pages – sketches of the Chairman, Yori… they more than adequately reflected their models and Yuuki had deliberately or accidentally let her deep affection for these subjects show in the drawings – Yori certainly looked more attractive than he recalled and although the sketches of the Chairman showed his rather absent-minded air (which actually covered an astute brain), they also conveyed the twinkle in his eyes.

It was only when Zero had flipped to the end of the folder did he realise what he was unconsciously looking for. But now he knew - there were no drawings of him. None. He stopped, finger hovering uncertainly over the last page, feeling a stab of hurt in his chest. Surely he was important enough in Yuuki’s life to warrant at least one sketch…? Wasn’t he? But apparently, he wasn’t.

Despondently, he closed the folder and glanced at the stack of folders Yuuki had lined up on the top shelf of her desk. There was a similar one labelled “Z.K.” - could it be? Heartbeat increasing for no reason, he reached for it with slightly trembling fingers.

Yes, there were sketches of him. Not one… not two… but a whole folder of them… dating from at least three years ago… even before he’d known of her hobby and gifted her the drawing set. A faint, wondering smile touched Zero’s lips as he flipped through the pages, it was like going back in time… seeing the him of four years ago – the deep frown on the young face, glaring straight back at him, his hair had been shorter than… his expression fiercely guarded and defensive, face slightly more rounded…

Once again, he was conscious of how Yuuki’s eyes could always see past his cool façade to how he really felt. She may have made his face expressionless but his eyes… they were full of torment, pain and grief… Even then, she’d seen… even then, she’d known… perhaps not the actual reason, but somehow… she’d known.

Unable to stop, Zero continued looking through the folder, the more recent images showing him as he pretty much was now. She’d even noticed his body filling out – more broad in the shoulders, taller.

A sketch of him made him pause – he looked lost in thought, chin propped in one hand, starting out the window with a pensive expression. After a few moments, he realised she’d sketched in the background of the interior of a train – was it during their trip on the recent All Soul’s Day?

Next was a sketch of him gazing straight out of the paper. Involuntarily, a frisson of awareness shivered through him. He didn’t know his emotions were that transparent to her - the self-disgust and fear that she’d turn away from who he was, what he was - practically jumped out from the page. When had this been taken? But his lips were closed, there was no hint of fangs… only the flowered tattoo she’d pencilled high up on the left of his neck, bared by the sweatshirt he appeared to be wearing. Zero closed his eyes for a moment, feeling again the soft feminine fingers on his neck that could soothe away the sharp pain as if by magic…

A couple of pages later and there was a sketch of him grinning madly at her – when the heck had this taken place? He glanced at the background, noticing a couple of French windows decorated with bunches of flowers. Faint music echoed in his brain and the memory of the dance came back to him again. This must have been how Yuuki saw him, just after he’d practically roared his head off with laughter over what she had said when they’d danced… and why the conversation had occurred in the first place. Ignoring the sudden warmth in his cheeks, he paused for a moment. Surprisingly, there were no sketches of him at all with his fangs showing… she’d seen them often enough… Why? Was it because she didn’t want to draw a Zero with fangs? Or was it because she never thought of him as a… a vampire? His mind whirling with questions, he stared down at the page.

Another thought struck him. He’d never thought of himself as a particularly good looking guy. After all, his colouring was… well… odd, to say the least – silvery hair with those strange purple eyes… and the few times he’d glanced in the mirror, it was only to ensure the frown was firmly in place, the features wiped clean of all expression. And at other times, it was to see the familiar image distorted with the all too obvious signs of bloodlust…

But somehow, he looked… different… in the sketches – he was mildly surprised to find he appeared to be, in fact, more than passably good looking. The strands of silvery hair – he’d given up trying to style his hair simply because the fine strands simply refused to hold any style – that half covered his eyes somehow lent a… mysterious aura to him as well as accentuated his lean cheekbones. And his lips appeared fuller in the sketches, unlike the thinned ones he’d seen in the mirror when unconsciously cultivating his Grumpy School Guardian persona… And what was this - did he actually have a dimple in his left cheek? Where had that come from?

Shaking his head slightly at all these foolish ‘embellishments’ Yuuki had obviously added to improve the plain image of the Zero Kiriyu he knew, Zero couldn’t help a surge of warmth in his heart all the same. He knew Yuuki cared deeply for him and loved him as a brother and a friend, but surely she needn’t have bothered making him look better than he actually did?

He flipped to the next page and stopped short. The sketch was dated a week ago and he realised it was the day after the stray Level E vampire had tried to attack both him and Yuuki in town. It was a sketch of him with bare shoulders this time, propped up on his elbow, gaze pointed slightly downwards with a small smile hovering teasingly on his lips…

Was it the following morning when he’d awoken in her bed just before the Chairman had knocked on the door? He looked… he looked… hell, he looked like he’d woken up with an angel in his bed, one he absolutely adored, even worshipped, and one he was on the verge of kissing...

A stronger blush started this time – were his feelings so embarrassingly transparent to Yuuki? Did she know how he really felt about her? But she couldn’t have – he’d have known if she had. If just a kiss had rattled her that much, a romantic confession from her best friend would’ve probably sent her right over the edge…

A sudden movement caught her eye and he looked up to see Yuuki was standing at the open doorway.

“Zero? You still in here?” she asked. “Dinner’s almost ready…”

She walked into her room and flicked a glance at the folder in Zero’s hand. Pressing her hand to her mouth to stifle a gasp, Yuuki darted large eyes towards Zero, cheeks flaming suddenly. “Oooh…” she said.

There was a silence. Surprisingly, Yuuki didn’t seem angry that Zero had helped himself without asking her permission. Even so, he apologised quickly “Sorry – I really didn’t mean to look…”

Still blushing furiously, Yuuki darted a glance at Zero. He wasn’t angry that she’d sketched him. He looked simply… stunned. He was staring at her as if he couldn’t believe her.

After a moment, he swallowed. “Yuuki - do I… do I look like that?” he asked softly.

Yuuki’s hand lowered. “Like what?” she asked, her voice hovering just above a whisper.

He gestured helplessly at her folder. “Like that…”

“Yes” she whispered back.

Zero shook his head. “I don’t…” he whispered.

“Yes, yes you do” insisted Yuuki, nodding to add emphasis to her words.

He glanced uncertainly at her then back at the drawings. Was this really how Yuuki saw him? Dare he hope that one day… one day, she could… perhaps…

Yuuki was looking at the latest sketch. She shouldn’t have done it, she knew… it was just such a nice picture of Zero… she just hadn’t realised until she’d finished that he’d looked sexy as hell… and she didn't know why she’d filed it in her folder instead of crumpling it up.

Shifting uneasily from one foot to the other, Yuuki clasped and unclasped her hands. “Well…” she said tentatively. “You should shower, Zero. Dinner will be ready soon…”

Zero was still looking painfully vulnerable and she didn’t know what she should say. She should be angry he’d looked through her things… but she wasn’t. And she thought he’d have been furious, amused or even indifferent to the drawings of himself… but he wasn’t. He looked… touched, somehow.

“Hey, you OK, Zero?” she asked as the rather awkward silence grew. It broke the spell Zero was under, the one that had him almost opening his mouth and blurting out his deepest secret.

Rousing himself with an effort, Zero closed the folder but left it where it was. “Yeah, I’ll go shower now…” he muttered, getting up. He walked behind her towards the door, then paused for a moment to squeeze her shoulder.

“Thanks, Yuuki…”

Yuuki stared after him, eyebrows up. “Thanks for what?” she asked.

“Nothing…” Zero didn’t look back at her as he left her room.

-- Chapter End --