56636913 Eye Of The Beholder

Eye of the Beholder

by Marilyn Lee

Red Rose Publishing

www.redrosepublishing.com

First published in 2009-02-26, 2009

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Eye of the Beholder

by Marilyn Lee

CONTENTS

Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Meet Marilyn Lee

* * * *

Eye of the Beholder

by Marilyn Lee

Eye of the Beholder

Marilyn Lee

* * * *

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and

incidents are products of the author's imagination or are used
fictitiously and are not to be construed as real. Any
resemblance to actual events, locales, organizations, or
persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

Eye of the Beholder by Marilyn Lee

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Eye of the Beholder

by Marilyn Lee

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Copyright© 2007 Marilyn Lee
ISBN: 978-1-60435-290-0
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Eye of the Beholder

by Marilyn Lee

Marilyn Lee

Eye of the Beholder

by Marilyn Lee

Chapter One

It was still dark outside when Carolyn Jordan woke. She

could see through the pink and white curtains at the bedroom
windows that Daddy always left slightly open. Yawning and
blinking, she looked at the Big Bird alarm clock on the night
stand next to her bed. Five-thirty. Clutching her stuffed Big
Bird toy against her chest, she climbed out of bed and ran
barefoot down the dimly lit hall.

The door to Daddy's room was open, but the room was

dark. She climbed onto the padded chair Daddy kept under
the light switch. She turned the knob until the room was
bathed in the soft glow of the two rose-colored lamps on
either side of the big bed where her daddy still slept.

Daddy hated getting up in the morning. But that was okay,

because he had her to help him. Like Mommy used to do.
Soon, maybe he'd have Diana to help him too.

She climbed out of the chair and skipped across the

hardwood floor to the bed. It was big and reminded her of the
sled she and Daddy used to go sliding down the hill behind
the house when it was cold and icy. She had nice memories of
cuddling in the bed between Mommy and Daddy when she
was still scared of sleeping alone.

Now there was just Daddy—and her to take care of him.

She climbed onto the bed and watched him. She liked
watching him as he slept. Sometimes when he was awake, he
seemed sad. Not when he was asleep.

Eye of the Beholder

by Marilyn Lee

Daddy had nice, dark brown hair. Granny said he should

cut it, but Mommy always liked the way it curled on Daddy's
forehead and neck when he was sleeping—and so did Carolyn.

She climbed onto Daddy's chest and kissed his cheek. She

giggled as the hair on his face tickled her nose. "Daddy.
Daddy, it's time to get up."

"Go away."
"Daddy! It's time to get up," she said, pushing against his

shoulder.

He groaned and opened his eyes.
She wished her eyes were blue like his, but Daddy said her

green eyes went perfectly with her blond hair—just like
Mommy's.

"Morning, Daddy!"
"Tell me it's Saturday," he said.
"It's Friday and time to get up. You can sleep as late as

you like tomorrow."

"Okay, you slave driver," he said, smiling. "So it's time to

rise and shine?"

"And thank the Lord for another day," she reminded him.

"You keep forgetting to say that."

Daddy looked away, and she bit her lip.
"Daddy?" She touched his cheek. "Are you thinking about

Mommy again and feeling sad?"

Daddy hugged her and nuzzled his nose against her cheek.

"I'm thinking how lucky I am to have you to remind me of the
really important things, sweetie." He smiled. Daddy's smile
always made her feel safe and warm. "Now, how about you

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by Marilyn Lee

go get washed, and we'll meet downstairs for breakfast when
you're through? Can do?"

"Can do."
"That's my sweetheart."
She liked being Daddy's sweetheart. She grinned and

jumped off the bed. Alone in the room, David sighed. This
was the time of the day when he missed Harriet so much he
might have lost her last week instead of sixteen months
earlier. But lying there feeling sorry for himself wasn't going
to change a thing.

He slipped out of bed and headed for the bathroom. After a

quick shower, he dressed in his work clothes. Mornings in late
April in Philadelphia could be downright frosty. He pulled on a
long-sleeved thermal top, covered it with a flannel shirt,
slipped on a pair of jeans, and stepped into safety boots
before going downstairs to the kitchen.

Twenty minutes later, he and Carolyn were having

breakfast. Harriet had loved this house and had spent literally
months furnishing it. Every room in the house reminded him
of her. But the kitchen with its white tiled floor, cherry wood
cabinets and the big oval table he and Harriet had spent three
weekends refinishing was most reminiscent of her.

"Daddy, do you like women?"
He blinked and refocused his gaze on the paper, playing

for time. He knew pretending not to have heard the question
wouldn't work, so he deliberately finished his coffee before
looking up.

Carolyn's eyes were trained on his face as she awaited his

answer, her milk forgotten.

Eye of the Beholder

by Marilyn Lee

"Yes. Your mother was a woman and you know I loved

her." He glanced at his watch. "I think it's time we made a
move." Folding his paper, he rose.

"Don't you want to know why I asked that question,

Daddy?"

He knew why. Both Carolyn and his mother had been

trying to get him to meet one of the owners of the daycare
center where Carolyn spent her early mornings and late
afternoons after her kindergarten class.

He'd met and interviewed Becki Howard, the other owner

who greeted the children and parents in the morning. He had
yet to meet Diana Stuart, who was there in the afternoons.

"I know why, sweetie," he said patiently. "But we really

don't have time to talk about it now."

"But that's what you always say, Daddy," she complained.
He began stacking the breakfast dishes in the sink. "That's

because it's always true," he said. "I know you miss your
Mommy, and so do I, but I'm just not ready to start dating
yet, sweetie."

"Well, when are you going to be ready, Daddy?"
"I'll let you know."
"But you would be ready if you met Diana, Daddy. She's so

pretty and so nice. I know you'd like her as much as I do. And
that's an awful lot."

"Since she's so pretty and nice, she's not going to be

interested in meeting me. She must already have a man in
her life."

"No she doesn't, Daddy. I told her about you and I think

she wants to meet you."

Eye of the Beholder

by Marilyn Lee

"We'll see," he said. "Now come on, sweetie. Time to get a

move on."

"Oh, all right, Daddy, but you don't know what you're

missing."

He smiled. Like Harriet, Carolyn had to have the last word.

David spent a busy morning at the construction site where

he was foreman. Just before twelve o'clock, he spotted his
assistant foreman, Mike, standing on a scaffolding above him.

He cupped his hands around his mouth and bellowed.

"Mike! Yo! Down here on the double."

Mike nodded. He waited just long enough to see Mike start

down the ramp before he turned and walked off the site to
where his Chevy Blazer was parked on the wide, unpaved
road.

By the time he reached the Blazer, Mike was at his elbow.

"What's up, Dave?"

"I have to pick Carolyn up and take her to the daycare

today. Keep an eye on that Jones guy, will you? I'm not sure
he's going to work out on the crane."

"He'd better work out. We can't afford to lose another

guy."

"Tell me about it." He climbed into his Blazer. "I'll be back

in about thirty or forty minutes."

He started the Blazer, put the engine in gear, and drove

off. Carolyn's school was fifteen minutes away. He drove fast
but carefully, glancing frequently at his dashboard clock. He
didn't want to be late. Having lost Harriet, Carolyn was fearful

Eye of the Beholder

by Marilyn Lee

of losing him too. He sighed with relief as the big, three-story
school building came into view. He pulled into the parking lot
and jumped out of the Blazer, just as Carolyn's kindergarten
class recessed for the day.

"Daddy! Daddy!" Carolyn screamed in delight and ran

across the school yard to him. The moment she reached him,
she wrapped her arms around his legs and hugged him.

He lifted her into his arms and kissed her cheek. "Hello,

sweetie."

Carolyn wrapped her arms around his neck. "Hi, Daddy. I

didn't know you were coming for me this week. Where's
Granny?"

"She has a doctor's appointment." He carried her to his

Blazer. "So I'm taking you to the center."

"Oh, good. Then you can meet Diana, Daddy," Carolyn said

happily as he fastened her into her safety seat in the rear of
the Blazer. "She's nice and real pretty. Almost as pretty as
Mommy was. I just know you'll like her."

He stifled a groan. With the new townhouse development

running over budget and several guys out sick with the flu,
his patience was tending to be on the non-existent side. He
was not in the mood to socialize.

"Daddy, did you hear me?"
"Yes, honey, I heard you." He started the engine. "You

were telling me how much I'll like your Diana."

And it was time they met. Carolyn was so fond of Diana

Stuart, he needed to see for himself what type of person she
was. Just so he knew Carolyn was in as good hands in the
afternoons as she was in the mornings.

Eye of the Beholder

by Marilyn Lee

"Daddy, are you listening?"
"Yes," he said absently. "You were saying something about

a parents' day at the daycare."

"It's the Friday after next. Are you going to come, Daddy?"
"Yes." It would be difficult to take any time off from work

with the builders complaining about cost overruns, but he
wasn't going to disappoint Carolyn. "I'm coming."

"Oh, good. I was afraid you wouldn't be able to come.

Granny says you work too hard."

"I wouldn't miss it, honey," he assured her.
She settled into her seat and picked up her favorite book,

The Cat in the Hat.

He turned onto a quiet, tree-lined street. He stopped his

SUV in front of a big Victorian house with a big front lawn. He
glanced at the bright yellow and white sign on the side of the
building which bore smiling, childish faces. Happy Time
Daycare.

"There it is, Daddy," Carolyn said.
"I know, sweetie," he said, smiling at her enthusiasm. "I

have been here before." He got out of the Blazer, unbuckled
Carolyn, and lifted her onto the sidewalk. Carolyn took his
hand in hers and skipped happily along the driveway. "Come
meet Diana, Daddy!"

"I'm coming, already, honey."
She squeezed his fingers. "Oh, Daddy! I'm so excited."
He gently returned the pressure of her small fingers before

he stopped her and knelt at her feet. "Honey, I don't want
you to get too excited. I told you that I'm not ready to start
dating again yet. Remember?"

Eye of the Beholder

by Marilyn Lee

"But that's only because you haven't met Diana yet,

Daddy. I just know you'll like her. Everybody does."

He sighed. It was hopeless. Like Harriet, once Carolyn got

a hold of an idea, she didn't let go. "And I'm sure I will like
her, but honey, liking her and wanting to date her are not the
same thing. You understand that?"

She nodded impatiently, tugging at his hand. "Don't worry,

Daddy." She stroked a hand down his cheek. "It'll be all right.
You'll see. Okay?"

"Okay," he said, but he had a bad feeling. Carolyn was just

too attached to Diana Stuart.

"Come on, Daddy." She tugged at his hand. He got to his

feet and allowed her to lead him along the sidewalk toward
the house.

The big, oak door opened just before they reached the

house. A woman with a radiant smile and beautiful skin the
color of a jar of dark, sweet honey stood there. She was full-
figured and looked around five feet, ten inches. She wore her
short dark hair in a mass of curls that provided a perfect
frame for her pretty face. While the white coveralls she wore
were far from flattering, they did tend to draw attention to
her lovely, dark skin tone.

Was this the woman Carolyn and his mom thought he

would be attracted to? Granted, she was pretty ... very
pretty, but—

"Diana! Look who I bought with me. My daddy!" Carolyn

cried as if she'd just produced him out of a hat. "Isn't he
cute?"

Eye of the Beholder

by Marilyn Lee

He was too used to Carolyn's outspokenness to be

embarrassed. As, it seemed, was Diana Stuart, because she
showed no signs of discomfort as she smiled warmly at
Carolyn. "Hi, honey."

She had a slightly husky, sweet voice and a rather

enchanting smile with full, lush-looking lips. Nice, but not nice
enough to tempt him into dating again.

"Hi, Daddy," the woman said cheerfully, meeting his gaze

head on and sticking her hand out. "Carolyn's been telling me
how good-looking you were." Her dark brown eyes were
warm as they lingered on his face. "I see she didn't
exaggerate. I'm Diana Stuart."

His tentative smile vanished and he took a step

backwards, startled by her frankness. But she was standing in
front of him, her hand still extended. With Carolyn looking
anxiously on, he responded in the only way he could. He
moved closer to shake her hand. His nose twitched in
appreciation as he caught a faint scent of her perfume; soft
and feminine—like her hand in his.

"Hello, Daddy," she said again.
He shook her hand briefly. "I'm David Jordan, Mrs. Stuart,"
"Miss," she corrected, smiling. "I'm not married."
He kept his voice neutral. "So, I hear."
"Is that ice-cold tone meant to put me firmly in my place?"
That had been his intent, but it hardly seemed diplomatic

to admit it. He arched a brow and shrugged. "That's not my
place."

"Good. So, Daddy, any truth to the rumor that you're not

seeing anyone either?"

Eye of the Beholder

by Marilyn Lee

He stared at her in amazement. Didn't the woman have

any shame? "I wouldn't pay too much attention to rumors if I
were you, Miss Stuart."

"But you're not me, are you, Daddy?"
"No." Maybe she thought it was cute to keep calling him

Daddy, but it annoyed him.

"And you haven't answered my question."
"And I'm not going to, Miss Stuart."
"Okay. That was definitely a rebuke."
He glanced at his watch. "I have to get back to work."
She nodded silently.
He bent to kiss Carolyn. "See you tonight, sweetie."
"Didn't I tell you she was pretty, Daddy?" Carolyn

demanded in a voice that Diana couldn't help but overhear.
"Isn't her skin a pretty color, Daddy?"

He responded in the only way he could. "Yes," he said

shortly and stood up.

He noted a hint of embarrassment in Diana Stuart's eyes,

but she met his gaze head on. "Carolyn's a sweet child, Mr.
Jordan."

She sounded sincere. Maybe even a little chastened. He

nodded, softening toward her. "Thanks. Well, I have to go."

"Well, it was ... ah, ... nice to meet you."
Not judging by the coldness in her voice. "Ah ... you too."
"Daddy's coming to parents' day, Diana," Carolyn piped in.

"Isn't that great?"

"Oh, yeah. That's great, honey." She glanced up at him.

The warmth was gone from her gaze this time and he knew

Eye of the Beholder

by Marilyn Lee

she'd gotten his message. Just as he was beginning to
wonder if maybe he hadn't been a bit hasty in sending it.

Because instead of being pleased that she was no longer

flirting with him, he was aware of a wish to have that warm
gaze of hers turned on him again while her dark eyes
twinkled at him. He gave himself a mental shake. Get a grip.
She is not your type.

"I have to go."
"Don't let us keep you, Mr. Jordan," she said in a flat

voice. She took Carolyn's hand in hers. "Honey, say goodbye
to your daddy."

"Goodbye, Daddy," Carolyn said obediently.
David nodded, gave Diana a quick glance, met her dark

gaze, and reluctantly walked away.

[Back to Table of Contents]

Eye of the Beholder

by Marilyn Lee

Chapter Two

Diana made a circuit of the big playroom that took up a

large portion of the first floor of the center. Then she moved
onto the two other, smaller rooms. As she walked, she
glanced down at the small figures of the children, napping on
their bedrolls.

When she was satisfied that all the children were sleeping

soundly, she made her way back to the big, old-fashioned
roll-top desk at the back of the main room and slumped down
into the comfortable, mahogany, leather chair.

She stared at the wall opposite, concentrating on the

wallpaper. It had a white background with bluebirds sitting on
pedestal fountains. It reminded her of the wallpaper in her
room in the big, rambling Victorian house she'd grown up in
on the other side of town.

She sighed. This would only happen to her. To finally meet

a man she was attracted to only to find that he was as
unfriendly as he was humorless. She again visualized his
unsmiling face. What a Gloomy Gus. Imagine his mother and
daughter thinking he was such a prize. She'd never seen
anyone wear thirty years so hard.

Granted he was handsome, but he was definitely not

someone of whom she wanted to see more. Since he still
wore his wedding ring, he probably felt the same way. She
grinned and shrugged. Not that she had to worry about that.
Not after the way she'd practically come on to him. He

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by Marilyn Lee

obviously had not been impressed. Oh, well. Neither had she.
So get over it, girl.

David couldn't get thoughts of Diana Stuart out of his head

as he drove to his mother's house to pick Carolyn up after
work. He didn't want to like her or think about her. Still, he
found himself remembering the musical quality of her voice;
the softness of her hand; the warmth of her gaze. She was
undeniably attractive but also the most outrageous flirt he'd
ever met.

Why had his mother thought he'd be attracted to someone

so unlike Harriet? Harriet's shyness was one of the things he'd
liked most about her. If it was one thing Diana Stuart was
not, it was shy. So why was he even thinking of her?

He knew one thing about her for certain. She was a

Christian. His mother would never have tried to interest him
in a woman who wasn't deeply religious.

In which case, she's probably not interested in you. She

was probably just in a flirting mood. He'd often noted pretty
women liked to flirt. Although his parents had instilled a
strong Christian faith in him, and he'd always tried to allow
the Lord to guide his way, everything had changed with
Harriet's death.

It was kind of hard to keep believing when a devout

woman like Harriet was killed in a car accident, while the
nineteen-year-old drunken driver walked away with just a few
cuts and bruises. Where was the justice for Harriet, who had
spent her days engaged in numerous church activities? Where

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by Marilyn Lee

was the fairness? Where was her reward for doing her best to
be a good, decent Christian? He felt the familiar bitterness
and rage forming a knot of tension and anger in his stomach.
He took several deep breaths and released them gradually.
Slowly, he relaxed his tense muscles.

Let it go, David. Think about something else. Feel

something else. Anything else. He reached out and switched
on the radio. The soft sounds of jazz filled the cab of the
Blazer. He inhaled slowly and made the rest of the drive
immersed in the music.

Ten minutes later, he turned into the back drive of the big,

two-storied house where he'd been raised. The kitchen door
opened before he reached it.

Carolyn came rushing at him. "Daddy! Daddy! You're here.

Oh, Daddy, I missed you!"

He laughed and swung her up into his arms, kissing and

hugging her. "I missed you too."

"Hello, dear."
He looked up to see his mother standing in the kitchen

doorway. He smiled. At fifty-six, with dark hair cut close to
her face, Gloria Jordan was still a petite, attractive woman.
He kept expecting some eligible bachelor at her church to
realize what a find she was and marry her.

"Hi, Mom." Shifting Carolyn to his other side, he bent to

kiss his mother's cheek. "You look great."

She smiled and stepped out of the doorway. "How sweet,

dear."

He followed her into the kitchen, set Carolyn on her feet,

and took a slow, deep breath. His mom's kitchen always

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by Marilyn Lee

seemed appetizing. He walked over to the sink to wash his
hands and then he headed for the refrigerator. He'd done his
best to learn how to prepare meals over the last sixteen
months, but so far he hadn't made much headway. Carolyn
was a real trooper and always pretended to enjoy his efforts,
but they left him longing for a real home cooked meal.

On the top shelf of the refrigerator, he spotted a small

bowl of potato salad. Harriet had been an excellent cook, but
nobody made potato salad like his mom made.

He reached in to retrieve the treasure, got a fork out of the

drawer and sat back at the big wooden table where his father
used to administer his father-to-son lectures. "You don't
mind, do you, Mom?" he asked, almost as an afterthought.

"Of course not, dear," his mother said, smiling as she sat

opposite him. "I'm glad you still enjoy my cooking."

"What's not to enjoy?" He lifted a forkful of salad to his

mouth and closed his eyes as he began chewing. "Hmm.
Mom, this is fantastic as always."

"Daddy!"
He paused and looked at Carolyn, who was sitting on a

chair across from him. She stared at him with a look of
disapproval of her pretty face.

"What? What's wrong, honey?"
"You didn't say grace!"
He had developed the bad habit of skipping grace when he

was alone. "You're right." Bowing his head, he said a brief
blessing, then dug into the salad again.

His mother gave Carolyn a glass of strawberry milk, then

sat back at the table. "How was your day, dear?"

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by Marilyn Lee

He swallowed a mouthful of salad. "All right. What about

you, Mom? How did your doctor's appointment go?"

"Good." She smiled at him. "My pressure's under control

and everything else is fine." She paused and he suspected
she was searching for a way to broach the subject of Diana
Stuart.

He finished the last mouthful of salad and waited.
"I understand you met Diana Stuart today."
He nodded.
"So what did you think of her, dear?" she asked.
He gave her a weary look. In the last four months, she had

worn him down to the extent that he had allowed her to fix
him up with two different women. She had assured him each
was an "excellent prospect." However, neither had roused any
sense of excitement in him nor made him want to get to know
them. But Mom, being Mom, kept trying.

He shrugged. "She seemed nice enough."
"But? Go on," she urged. "What fault did you find with

her?"

"That's it. No buts," he said, hoping that she'd let it go at

that. "I didn't find any fault with her." He got up and took the
bowl to the sink.

"Oh, leave that, dear."
"Thanks, Mom." He put the bowl in the dishpan, relieved

not to have to wash it. At home he and Carolyn made a game
of washing dishes, but if not for his mother's insistence that
he had to raise Carolyn properly, he would have been content
to eat with plastic utensils off paper plates.

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by Marilyn Lee

He turned to look across the kitchen at Carolyn. "Ready to

go sweetie?"

She finished her milk, nodded, and lifted her arms.
He scooped her up, kissing her on both cheeks. "We're

going to head home now, Mom."

"Daddy didn't like Diana, Granny," Carolyn said, wrapping

her arms around his neck.

"I didn't say that." Recalling how thoughts of her had

lingered, he went on quickly. "I'm sure she's very ... ah ...
very..."

"Nice, so you said," his mother replied, following them to

the kitchen door. "But you're not interested in her?"

He turned with his hand on the back doorknob. "It's not

personal, Mom. I'm not interested in any woman just at the
moment."

"We're not talking about any woman. We're talking about a

specific woman, David. We're talking about Diana Stuart.
She's a good, kind, pretty woman any man would be glad to
know."

He remembered her beautiful smile and warm gaze. "I'm

sure she's all those things and more, but I'm just not ready to
get involved with another woman yet."

"David, darling, I know these last months have been awful

for you, but life has to go on for you and for Carolyn. You
both need a woman in your life."

"I don't want another woman in my life, Mom." He glanced

at Carolyn, who stared anxiously at him. Part of him knew his
mother was right. Even if he didn't need or want another
woman trying to take Harriet's place, he had to consider

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by Marilyn Lee

Carolyn. It was his next wife and Carolyn's step-mom that
should be rousing him in the morning, not Carolyn.

The pain of losing Harriet was still too fresh. He couldn't

bear the thought of filling her place in his heart with another
woman.

"You need a woman in your life," his mother insisted,

almost as if she'd read his mind. "You both do."

He leaned down and kissed her cheek. "Maybe so, but I

can't handle it yet."

"But David, darling, you're doing yourself such a

disservice. If I didn't think Diana was just right for you, I
wouldn't push it. But I know she is. She's a—"

"Please, Mom! I know that's how you feel, but I don't

agree. Can we please leave this discussion for another time?"

She nodded grudgingly. But he knew by the determined jut

of her chin that he hadn't heard the last of how right for him
Diana Stuart was.

"If that's the way you want it, dear."

[Back to Table of Contents]

Eye of the Beholder

by Marilyn Lee

Chapter Three

Daddy was quiet on the drive home from Granny's house,

leaving all the talking to her. Carolyn didn't mind. Maybe
Daddy was thinking of Diana. Maybe he'd decide he liked her
after all. He just needed to see her again. Once he did,
Carolyn was sure he'd see that Diana would make a perfect
mommy for her and wife for him.

Only she didn't think Daddy would ask Diana out.

Tomorrow was Saturday. She grinned suddenly. "Daddy, can
we go to the park tomorrow?"

"Sure can, sweetie." Daddy smiled at her in his rearview

mirror. "I drove past Tacony Creek Park tonight on the way to
Granny's house. They have the new swing sets up."

"Oh, I don't want to go there, Daddy. I meant Wissahickon

Park. Can we go there instead?"

"Wissahickon Park? Why? Tacony Creek is much closer and

all the equipment is newer."

"It is?" For a moment, she was tempted to agree to go to

Tacony Creek Park, but it was more important that she and
Daddy went to Wissahickon Park. "It's closer to home so we
can go there anytime. Let's go to Wissahickon Park tomorrow,
Daddy. Please? Can do?"

"Can do, sweetie."
Carolyn smiled. "Thanks, Daddy."

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by Marilyn Lee

"So he's a real hunk, huh? Did you check out those

gorgeous blue eyes and that square chin? I told you you'd like
him."

Diana and Becki were sitting in Diana's third floor

apartment above the daycare center. The last child had been
picked up half an hour earlier, and as usual, they were ending
the work week with a well-deserved cup of green tea before
Becki headed home.

Diana took several sips from her cup. "Good looking? No.

He's not good looking."

Becki set her cup on the large white kitchen table. "You

don't think he lived up to his billing?"

Diana shrugged. "Oh, okay. So he's sort of good looking.

But only if you happen to like your men big, humorless, and
as unfriendly as the day it long."

Becki studied Diana's face. "Unfriendly? He always seemed

friendly enough when he dropped Carolyn off in the morning."

"Maybe to you, but he blew me off big time."
"Why?"
She bit her lip and shrugged. "Okay, maybe it was partly

my fault. I sort of flirted with him."

Becki's arched eyebrows rose and her mouth formed a

silent o. "You? You flirted with a man? You, Diana Stuart? The
same Diana Stuart who's always telling me a woman has to
be ladylike? That Diana Stuart?"

"I know who I am," Diana said, frowning. "And you don't

have to rub salt in my wound, do you?"

"Oh, come on! You're pulling my leg."

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"No, really. I wish I were," she said shaking her head in

amazement at the memory. "You would have been
embarrassed for me."

"How? Why?" She glanced up toward the ceiling as if

seeking divine inspiration. "Why am I never here to see these
things?"

"I'm glad you weren't here. It was awful. I don't know

what came over me," Diana said in frustration. "The moment
I saw him coming down the path, I just felt really ... well, like
my prayers had finally been answered. Still, I was okay and
pretty cool until I looked into his eyes. He has the bluest eyes
I've ever seen. I looked in his eyes, and the next thing I
knew, I was flirting with him."

"You know, there's flirting, and then there's flirting. Maybe

you weren't really flirting with him."

Diana centered her gaze on the white, vinyl wall behind

Becki's head which bore a beautiful watercolor of a dozen red
roses. "Oh, I flirted all right. I did everything but ask him for
a date."

Becki snapped her fingers. "That's where you went wrong."
"Where? What should I have done?"
Becki arched her brows. "Went ahead and asked him for a

date. What else?"

"Becki! Don't you get it? I should have stuck to hello, nice

to meet you, and goodbye."

"Why?"
"Why? Good looking he may be, but he's not exactly the

answer to my prayers." She saw the look on Becki's face and

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frowned. "Oh, I know you don't think much of waiting on God,
but—"

"I didn't say that," Becki said quickly. "Did I say that? I

don't think so. I don't know where you get your ideas, Diana.
I believe in God as much as the next person. I just think
there are some matters you have to take into your own
hands. Finding a husband is one of them. But go on. Do you
think the Lord wants you to wait until he sends you a black
man?"

Diana shrugged. "I'm not usually into white guys, but he's

so hunky and ... those eyes..."

Becki smiled. "They're nice enough, Diana, but nothing to

go on and on about."

She shrugged. "It doesn't matter because he definitely was

not interested."

"Why not? You're pretty, super nice, you have a great

sense of humor, and you can cook. What more could he or
any other man want in a woman?"

"How about a little modesty?" Diana suggest. "I got the

feeling I'd shocked him."

"You're plenty modest."
Diana shook her head. "You'll never get him to believe

that. You should have seen the look on his face. He was
embarrassed."

"The look on his face? Maybe you misread it. Maybe it

wasn't embarrassment. Maybe it was..."

"What?"
"Oh, I don't know. I didn't see it. Are you sure he's not

interested?"

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"Trust me on that score. I think..." she hesitated, biting

her lip. "He's probably one of those big men who prefer small
women rather than plus-sized ones." She held her arms wide
and glanced down at herself. Her father, born and raised in
Georgia, had lovingly called her a down-home-healthy
Georgia peach. Now, twenty-seven and still single, she'd
learned that not all men went in for "healthy" women. "As you
know, I'm not exactly small."

Becki frowned. "So? If he's too dense to appreciate all your

virtues, it's his lost."

Diana smiled. Becki had been a loyal friend since they'd

met in their junior year in college. "That's one way of looking
at it," she said.

"That's the only way. If he's too much of a jerk to realize

when he's struck gold, it's his loss."

Diana laughed. "Let's not get carried away, Becki. I

wouldn't exactly call meeting me striking gold."

"No? Well, on the off chance that you're right about this

guy, maybe it's time to rethink your game plan. I know you
only want to meet a nice, Sunday-go-to-meeting type guy,
but there are some very nice, available guys that aren't heavy
into religion. Why don't you give one of them a try?"

Not that again. She held up a hand to stop Becki. "Because

I need to share everything with the man I marry. My joys, my
sorrows, my hopes, my dreams. Most especially, my faith."

"How do you know that won't come in time? Maybe you

can change him. You know, help him see the light, as it
were."

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She shook her head. "Sometimes it's all I can do to keep

myself together. Anyway, I couldn't marry a man who didn't
have a close relationship with God."

"Why not?" Becki demanded, sounding annoyed.
"Because my faith is very important to me. I want to

spend my life with a man that will help reaffirm it, not
challenge it. Or worse, try to subvert it."

Becki shrugged, finished her tea, and got to her feet. "Suit

yourself, Di. But you're letting a lot of nice guys needlessly
slip right through your fingers. But hey, it's your fingers and
your life."

"Yes, it is," she agreed. "And that's how I choose to live

it."

"Fine, but if you change your mind, I know a couple of

guys who would love to meet you." Becki winked. "And some
of them like women with a little meat on their bones."

"Becki—"
"Hold your horses. They might not sing in the choir, go

around singing the Lord's praises, but I don't think you have
to do all those things to believe in God."

Which left Diana wondering exactly how these men's faith

was manifested in their lives. After all, hadn't Jesus said you
shouldn't hide your light under a bushel?

"Becki, I really appreciate your interest, but I can be

patient until the right man comes along." If he comes along,
an inner voice added. She tried to ignore it, but she was
beginning to wonder how long she'd have to wait to meet her
Mr. Right.

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The next morning, after finishing her house work, Diana

prepared for her Saturday morning walk. She donned a pair
of sweats, put her wallet and house keys in a fanny pack,
slipped an inspirational tape into her portable tape player,
and left the apartment. She headed to Wissahickon Park, four
blocks away.

She started off slowly, with short steps, barely moving her

arms for the first two blocks. By the end of the fourth block,
her steps had lengthened and she was swinging her arms
briskly. She swung into the park and headed down the first of
several curving, tree and grass lined pathways. As she
walked, she smiled, enjoying the warmth of the afternoon sun
on her face and the smell of fresh cut grass. Being in the park
always filled her with appreciation for all that God provided.

She passed numerous people coming in the opposite

direction, some walking, some jogging. To her right and left,
people picnicked in the grass. She smiled at the families while
quickly looking away from the couples. Giving them too much
attention could lead to her coveting their happiness.

You'll get yours in time, Diana. You just need to hang on a

little longer. The man of your dreams could be around the
next bend, so don't lose hope. She took the last curve with
renewed energy.

"Diana! Here we are! Over here, Diana!"
She glanced to her right in surprise. Carolyn Jordan sprang

up from a blanket on the grass and came running towards
her.

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Diana came to a halt. Her gaze moved pass Carolyn. David

Jordan sat with his back against a huge tree, staring at her in
surprise.

By then Carolyn had wrapped her arms around Diana's

legs. "What took you so long? Daddy and me have been
waiting and waiting for you forever! I was beginning to think
you weren't coming."

Over Carolyn's head, Diana saw David Jordan's blue eyes

narrow and his lips press into a firm, disapproving line.

She suppressed a sigh. Yeah, well, I'm real happy to see

you too, Gus.

"Diana?"
She smiled down at Carolyn. "This is a nice surprise,

sweetie. I thought you said you went to Tacony Park? What
are you doing here?"

"I knew you'd be here today, so me and Daddy came to

see you. Aren't you surprised and glad we did?"

"I'm surprised all right," she said. She wouldn't have

expected Carolyn's father to seek her out. She turned her
attention to him.

He rose. Like her, he wore sweats and running shoes.

"That's not exactly what happened, Miss Stuart," he said
quickly. "Carolyn obviously knew you'd be here, but I didn't."

I want that understood. He didn't actually say the words,

but he projected them at her. She felt them like a blast.

Their gaze met and locked briefly.
She saw nothing in his gaze to hint that he was glad to see

her. Fine. He didn't like her. She smiled down at Carolyn

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before gently disengaging herself. "Seeing you here is a really
nice surprise, honey, but I have to go."

"Oh, no, Diana. Me and Daddy brought lots of food. Please

stay and share it with us."

"That's very generous of you, honey." She cupped

Carolyn's soft cheek with her palm. "But I'll see you on
Monday."

"Oh, but me and Daddy want you to stay!" Carolyn

clutched her hand. "You can't go. We've been waiting for you
forever."

Diana smiled down at her. She didn't look at David Jordan

again, although she was aware of him standing less than two
feet away from her. She could feel his gaze on her. "That's
very sweet, honey, but I think your Daddy would rather I left.
He didn't expect to run into me here today, and I'm sure he's
looking forward to having you all to himself."

"He can have me to himself some other time, and I know

he's glad to see you again." Carolyn turned to face her father.
"Tell her, Daddy. Please tell her we both want her to stay."

When several moments passed without a response from

him, Diana cast an amused look in his direction. He looked as
implacable as the big tree he'd been sitting under. "You can
relax now, Mr. Jordan. I'm leaving." She started back down
the path.

"Daddy! She's going!" Carolyn's voice was raised in appeal

to her father. "Why don't you say something? What are you
waiting for?"

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She'd only taken a few brisk strides when David Jordan

called out to her in a reluctant voice. "Miss Stuart. Please.
Wait."

She stopped, took a deep breath, and turned to face him.

"It's all right, Mr. Jordan. Carolyn doesn't understand how it
is, but I do."

To her surprise, he shook his head. "Actually, Miss Stuart,

I don't think you do."

"I'm sure I do."
"We ... Carolyn and I, would like you to stay."
"Wow. That must have hurt," she said.
He extended a hand towards her. "Please."
She should go. Everything in David Jordan's attitude

affirmed his lack of interest in her. Why stay and make them
both uncomfortable? But the irrational part of her that was
attracted to him urged her to stay. She shook her head.

"We'd like you to stay, Miss Stuart."
She met his gaze and wavered. "I ... well, if you're sure

I'm not unwelcome."

"I'm very sure you're not unwelcome."
His firm assurance surprised. "You are?"
"I just said so, didn't I?" He moved his hand in a sweeping

movement toward the blankets spread out on the grass under
the big tree. "Forgive my manners. Carolyn and I would like
you to join us."

His voice was pleasant, but impersonal.
That's probably as good as it was going to get, girl. She

smiled. "I'd like to join you."

"Then do."

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"Thank you." She sank down onto the blanket. Her heart

pounded.

"I like this," Carolyn said, smiling hugely. "We're like a

family. A daddy, a mommy, and a pretty daughter. Me."

Diana turned to find David Jordan staring at her. She lost

herself in his blue gaze, unable to look away from him. Not
really wanting to.

"Daddy's very good looking. Isn't he Diana?" Carolyn

demanded in a satisfied voice.

Diana blushed and fought back the urge to agree with

Carolyn. Finally, she dragged her gaze away from David
Jordan's. She looked at Carolyn. "Ah, what ... what do you
have to eat?" She managed to keep her voice level.

"Lots of stuff," Carolyn began. "But you didn't answer my

question about Daddy."

"And she's not going to," David said firmly.
"Why not, Daddy?"
"Instead of asking questions that are difficult for her to

answer honestly, sweetcakes, why don't you tell Miss—"

"Oh, Daddy! Why do you keep calling her Miss like that?

Her name's Diana."

He looked at Diana. "Carolyn seems to think I should call

you Diana."

"Well, it is my name," she said airily.
"And mine's David."
"David is a nice name."
"Daddy's nice too," piped in Carolyn. "Nice and good

looking."

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by Marilyn Lee

Diana bit back the urge to disagree with the child. Nice

was not the first word that came to mind when she thought of
David Jordan. Good looking? Absolutely? Nice? Not so much.

"Daddy would make a really good husband," Carolyn

confided, smiling at her.

"Oh?"
"Oh, yeah," Carolyn assured her. "Why don't you marry

him?"

David looked absolutely horrified.
Diana's lips twitched. He must be afraid she'd take Carolyn

seriously. She grinned. "No need to panic, Mr. Jordan." She
laughed. "I almost never accept proposals from the young
daughters of unwilling men on first dates."

His shoulders relaxed and he released a long breath.

"That's a relief, but this is not a date, Miss Stuart."

"Diana, Daddy. Diana."
"Diana," he repeated, leaning back against the tree trunk.
The sunlight filtered down through the branches of the

tree, streaking through his thick brown hair, sprinkling it with
streaks of gold. She looked away. Life could be so unfair.
There he was, hurting, lonely, and in need of a wife for
himself and a mother for Carolyn. Here she was, willing and
ready to be both, but held back by her size, his lack of
interest, and possibly her skin color.

"Not to worry," she said again. "Despite what you might

think, I'm not desperate for a man."

He straightened against the tree, his eyes widening. "Why

would you think I thought that?"

"Don't you?"

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by Marilyn Lee

"No! I'm very sure you have your share of admirers." He

sounded sincere.

She hadn't been defensive about her size in a long time.

She grinned suddenly. "Oh, yeah. I have so many of them
they constantly trip over each other."

He nodded, still sounding and looking sincere. "I told

Carolyn as much."

"Really? Are you in the habit of discussing my personal life

with her?"

He gave her a wary look. "No, I am not."
"But?"
"But you must know that she and my mother would like us

to ... ah..."

She knew Carolyn had impossible dreams of her father

falling for her the moment they met. The news that his
mother shared that dream came as a revelation. "They want
us to become a couple?"

"Ah ... yes."
Her heart thumped. "And you would like?"
"Daddy would like it too, only he doesn't know it yet,"

Carolyn interrupted. "Will you wait for him until he does?"

Before she could answer, David groaned and spread a

hand over his face. "This is going to be a long day."

Diana chuckled and reached into the picnic hamper for a

sandwich. "Oh, I don't know about that. I'm not such bad
company once you get to know me. Tell you what, let's make
a deal."

He arched a brow and peeked at her through his splayed

fingers.

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She suppressed the urge to giggle like a teenager

crushing.

"What kind of deal?" He sounded wary.
"Oh, nothing too earth shattering. Let's just agree to enjoy

the day and let Carolyn speak her mind without either of us
getting embarrassed."

He dropped his hand and cast a quick glance at Carolyn

before looking at her again. "Oh, I don't know if that's such a
good idea. Given enough encouragement, she'd have us
engaged before the day's over."

She took a small bit of her sandwich; ham and cheese with

too much mayo. She swallowed slowly and met his probing
gaze. "And that would definitely be a bad thing."

His answer surprised her. "I didn't say that."
She swallowed slowly. "Oh?"
He shook his head. "But it's not going to happen."
That was his way of warning her off. Well, she already

knew he wasn't interested. "Oh, lighten, up, Gu..." she bit her
lip and swallowed a giggle.

He stared at her. "What were you about to call me?"
"Gloomy Gus." She shrugged. "Sorry. Slip of the tongue,

but really, you're quite safe with me. I promise not to hold
you to anything your delightful daughter says."

He grinned suddenly.
She sucked in her breath. His smile transformed his face.

Instead of Gloomy Gus, he was now Dashing David.

"Deal," he said.
She flashed him a slow smile. "Unless of course, I get it in

writing," she went on. "Then all bets are off."

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His smile vanished.
She laughed and raised her brows to indicate she wasn't

serious. "Oh, Gus."

After a moment, he laughed too.
"That's better. I was beginning to think you never smiled

or laughed and it's too glorious a day not to do both."

He shrugged, sobering. "I haven't had a lot to be happy

about lately, even on glorious days."

"I know," she said, softly. "But things can, and do change

for the better."

"Do they?"
"Oh, yes. You just have to believe."
Carolyn slipped her arm through her father's. "Isn't this

nice, Daddy?"

"Yes," he said slowly, sounding surprised. "It is."
Carolyn gave her a snug smile. "See Diana, Daddy's

starting to like you already."

Diana shot David a wry look. "La de da," she said dryly

and laughed.

David laughed too.
Although Carolyn clearly didn't understand, she laughed

too.

After they'd eaten, David suggested they pack up and go

bike riding. "There are several scenic bike trails nearby. We
can rent bikes and check them out."

That's your hint that you've overstayed your welcome, and

now it's time for you to get lost, girl. "Sounds like something
Carolyn will love." She rose. "Well, thanks for the use of the
blanket and the food."

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He looked up at her. "You're leaving?"
"Yes."
He stood up. "You've misunderstood. I thought you might

like to come with us."

She blinked at him. "Oh? Aren't you afraid we'll wind up

married if we spend any more time together, today?" she
teased.

"No." He shook his head. "Why should I when I have no

intentions of putting anything binding in writing?"

So he did know how to lighten up. She feigned a sigh.

"Just when I thought I was about to get to first base with
you."

He laughed. "So, will you join us?"
He had a nice smile and a nicer laugh. She nodded. "Since

you ask so nicely, yes, I will."

He smiled at her.
A delicious warmth spread slowly through her. Ignoring it,

she turned to smile down at Carolyn. "What about you? Do
you want me to go bike riding with you and your dear old
dad?"

"You bet I do!" Carolyn said happily.
She turned to smile at David. "Seems like I'm all yours."
He stared down into her eyes.
She moistened her lips. "For the rest of the afternoon, that

is."

"Only that long?" He shrugged.
Holy Hanna. He was flirting with her. She nodded.
He shrugged. "Oh, well, we'll have to make do with that,

then."

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"Careful," she warned.
"Of what?"
She leaned closer and lowered her voice. "If you flirt with

me directly, I might take you seriously. Even if it's not in
writing."

His only response was a slow, warm smile that set her

heart knocking against her ribs.

Oh, Hanna! Things are getting interesting, girl. Just be

careful and do not overplay your hand.

[Back to Table of Contents]

Eye of the Beholder

by Marilyn Lee

Chapter Four

That night, lying in bed, unable to sleep, David wished he

could undo that afternoon at the park. He was at a loss to
explain what had happened. One moment, he'd been angry
because Carolyn had tricked him into going to the park to
meet Diana. And nothing was going to convince him to ask
Diana to join them. The next moment, he'd been sitting
opposite her on the blanket, wondering how any woman could
look so good in such unbecoming attire.

At the time he'd told himself he was asking her to stay

strictly to please Carolyn. But he needn't have spent all
afternoon enjoying her company just to please Carolyn. He
hadn't asked her to go bike riding with them just to please
Carolyn. And he sure wasn't thinking about her now to please
Carolyn. Lying there thinking of her was a purely selfish
indulgence. She was pretty, funny, and had the most
delectable looking skin he'd ever seen. Thoughts of her
smooth, dark skin made his hands ache to caress her.

Oh, David. Get a grip.
He knew that he'd need to think about remarriage soon.

Carolyn wanted and needed a stepmother, and judging by the
way he'd sat staring at Diana all afternoon, he needed a wife.
But not Diana Stuart. Granted, her charming smile and warm
personality made it difficult not to like her. In addition to
being pretty, she was good for and to Carolyn who clearly
adored her.

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Having met her, he understood why his mother and

Carolyn were so fond of her. But she was so completely
different from Harriet that he couldn't seriously consider her
anything but a friend. When he met a woman similar to
Harriet in temperament, he'd ask her out. Until then, he
would go on raising Carolyn the best he could.

He settled against the pillow and decided he wouldn't see

Diana again. If he did, she might misunderstand his
intentions. He wouldn't like to mislead or hurt her. She was
too nice for that. She deserved the attention of a man
prepared to adore her just as she was. Since he wasn't that
man, he'd stay out of her way.

As he was falling asleep, he remembered parents' day at

the daycare. He'd see her then. But that would absolutely be
the last time. Of course, he'd see her when he dropped
Carolyn off in the mornings at the daycare, but that was
different. He wouldn't need to linger or even to really talk to
her. He could be in and out within moments before she had
time to flirt with him, or worse, make him want to flirt with
her.

Diana woke before her alarm clock went off on Sunday

morning. Cradling the extra pillow against her chest, she lay
in bed, her mind filled with thoughts of David and Carolyn.
She had enjoyed her day with them. Once he'd unwound,
she'd found David could be as charming as he was handsome.
Riding along the shady trails, the three of them had laughed
and sung silly songs.

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She'd found his gaze turned on her often enough to make

it clear that he found her attractive. Despite herself, she'd
begun to hope that maybe he liked her. That certainty had
waned once their outing was over. He hadn't been very
friendly when he'd driven her home, just before seven.

Standing at her door with him, she could find no traces of

the charming man who'd spent most of the day flirting with
her.

"Well, I'll see you around, Diana."
She studied his unsmiling face by the street light.

Definitely Gloomy Gus. "Where?"

"Where what?"
"Where will you see me around?"
He shrugged. "When I drop Carolyn off here in the

mornings."

And if that wasn't a brush off, she'd never had one. "Fine.

I'll see you then." She waved at Carolyn, seated in the back
of his vehicle, and hurried inside, afraid he'd see her
disappointment reflected in her eyes.

Inside, she leaned against the closed door. She'd been

foolish to think that one afternoon spent in her company
would impress him so much that he'd want to get to know
her.

Diana spent Sunday morning in church. The sermon on the

need to be thankful for what the Lord provided was just what
she needed. It felt like a personal message direct to her from
the Lord.

While it was true she longed for a husband and children of

her own, she had to face the possibility that it might not be

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the Lord's will for her. If that were so, she still had a lot for
which to be thankful. She had a job she loved that provided
an adequate income for her needs, she had many good
friends, and she had her faith.

If it were the Lord's will for her to pass through life without

the comfort and love of a husband and children, so be it. He
had never let her down or asked too much of her. He had
always provided for her needs. Not her wants, maybe, but
surely for her needs.

David had Carolyn ready for Sunday morning services

when his mother arrived to pick her up. He saw the quick
compression of her lips when she noted he wore jeans and a
pullover. She held her cheek up for his kiss. "David, it's only
eight o'clock. Why don't you run upstairs and change so you
can join us for services this morning?"

"Yeah, Daddy, why don't you come with us today?"

Carolyn asked. "You haven't been to church for a really long
time."

He shook his head. "Maybe next week. I have a lot to do

around the house today."

His mother sighed and caressed his cheek. "Well, Carolyn

and I had better get started then."

He walked them to the car, kissed both their cheeks, and

saw them off.

He stood in the road, watching his mother drive off. He

frowned. Harriet had worked very hard to instill a strong faith
in Carolyn. How long would Carolyn's faith survive if he didn't

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appear to believe anymore? Harriet wouldn't have wanted
that; neither did he. Maybe it was time he thought about
going back to services for Carolyn's sake.

"Are you still mad at me, Daddy?"
David sat on the side of Carolyn's bed on Sunday night. He

tucked her favorite yellow sheet under her chin before he
kissed her cheek. "Still? Honey, I was never mad at you. Why
did you think I was?"

"Because you've been very quiet all day and last night. I

thought you were mad about the park and Diana. But you
shouldn't be because you stared and stared at her like you
liked her."

David chose his words carefully. "I'm not mad at you,

Carolyn, but I do want you to understand that you and I have
to be truthful with each other."

"But, Daddy, I didn't lie to you!"
"I know you didn't, sweetie." He touched her cheek. "Why

didn't you tell me why you wanted to go to Wissahickon
Park?"

She frowned. "I wanted to tell you, Daddy, but I didn't

think you'd take me if I did. But I didn't lie to you, Daddy!
Honest I didn't."

"No, but you did deliberately not tell me."
She stared up at him. "I know, but that's not the same as

a lie. Is it?"

"Sometimes it can be very close to a lie."
She bit her lip. "Are you disappointed in me, Daddy?"

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He shook his head. "No, but we have to be honest with

each other. No more not telling me things you know I don't
know. Okay?"

"Okay, Daddy. Can I ask you an honest question?"
"You can ask me anything, sweetie."
"Why don't you like Diana?"
"I never said I didn't like her, sweetie."
"But you don't. I thought you liked her at the park, but

now I think you don't. Do you?"

David wasn't sure how to answer her question in a way

Carolyn would understand. "You really like ice cream. Don't
you, sweetie?"

She nodded, her eyes steady on his face.
"Vanilla is okay, but you love strawberry better than any

other flavor."

She nodded again.
"Well, that's how I feel about Diana and women like your

mom."

"I don't understand, Daddy."
"Well, your Mom was like strawberry ice cream. Diana's

like vanilla ice cream. She's okay, but I prefer strawberry ice
cream, or women who are like your mommy was. Do you
understand what I'm saying?"

She shot up in bed, her eyes wide. "But Diana's not like ice

cream! She's so nice and..."

He pressed a gentle finger against her lips to silence her.

"But do you understand?"

She nodded with obvious reluctance. "Yes, Daddy, but—"

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by Marilyn Lee

"That doesn't mean I don't like Diana or don't think she's

nice or even pretty."

"You're not going to ask her out. Are you?"
He gently pushed her back into a reclining position. "No,

Carolyn, I'm not."

"But, Daddy! She made you smile and laugh. I like her and

I want you to go out with her."

"I know you do, sweetie, but we both have to like the

woman I go out with." He bent to kiss her cheek. "Trust me?"

She threw her arms around his neck. "Yes, Daddy," she

said sadly. "But I wish you'd change your mind about Diana."

"Sweet dreams, sweetie."

On Monday morning, when David walked into the center

with Carolyn, Diana stayed in her seat at the back of the
room. She wasn't going to give him another chance to be a
Gloomy Gus.

"Hi, Diana!" Carolyn called.
"Hi!" she called back, smiling at the child.
Diana was surprised when David kissed Carolyn's cheek,

turned her in the direction of the clothing closet, and walked
towards her. Her heart raced, but she kept her expression
bland. "Good morning, Mr. Jordan."

"Ah ... morning." He ran a hand through his hair and

shifted his weight from one foot to the other and stared at
her. She stared back. "Is there something I can do for you,
Mr. Jordan?"

"Ah ... no ... well actually ... yeah. No." He shook his head.

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Which was it? "Having a bad day?" she asked.
He sighed. "I just wanted to thank you for spending the

day with Carolyn on Saturday. It meant a lot to her."

So she'd spent the day with Carolyn, but not him? She

flashed him a meaningless smile. "I enjoyed spending the day
with Carolyn. Too bad you couldn't have joined us, Mr.
Jordan."

He shifted his gaze to a spot just to the left of her face.

"That came out all wrong."

"I doubt it."
"Ah ... so ... I'd better get going to work."
She nodded. "Goodbye."
"So I'll see you around."
"Where?"
His brought his gaze back to hers. "Here."
"Ah huh. Well," she flashed him another meaningless

smile. "Y'all have a nice day. You hear?"

He nodded and walked away.
Way to go, Diana. Real smooth.
"Diana? What did my daddy want just now?"
She turned to smile at Carolyn. "He just said thank you for

Saturday." She studied Carolyn's face. "Sweetie? What's
wrong? You look sad."

"I can't tell you," she sighed and walked away.
Diana stared after her, hard pressed not to follow her. She

reminded herself that Carolyn was but one of many under her
care. It wasn't fair to the other children to concentrate so
much of her attention on Carolyn.

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Diana kept herself busy through the week by throwing her

energies into her work. One of the five full-time daycare
workers was out sick, so there was a lot to keep her occupied.
She spent Monday and Tuesday night visiting the sick and
elderly from their church. Wednesday night, she went to choir
practice.

By Thursday, it was clear that David wasn't going to call

her, much less ask her out. He'd never implied that he had
any interest in her. She had no reason to hope for anything
from him. Still, she had, and it took a long time to get to
sleep that night.

Diana spent valuable time on Friday morning agonizing

over what to wear to the picnic. Should she wear her usual
coveralls or the new pale pink, midi-length, two-piece dress
she'd bought a week earlier? "What do you think, Becki?"

"You look great in pink. Wear it and let him see what he's

missing," she said as she and Diana shared an early morning
cup of tea before opening the daycare.

Diana had allowed her desire to get to know David,

coupled with Becki's encouragement, to get out of hand. She
was now firmly in control again. "I told you he wasn't
interested."

"That was before you spent the day with him and Carolyn."
"Well, I saw him Monday morning, and nothing had

changed. He's so not interested that he implied I'd only spent
the day with Carolyn. That's fine. He's not exactly the life of
the party. I'm wearing the coveralls," she said.

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by Marilyn Lee

"But Di, you need to let him see you at your best."
"As far as he's concerned, I don't have a best." She

shrugged. "And I'm okay with that."

"You're giving up too easily, Di," Becki objected. "There

could be lots of reasons he hasn't called you."

She nodded. "Yeah. The main one being his lack of interest

in me." She pushed her cup aside and stood up. "I've made
up my mind, Becki. Time spent trying to attract him is wasted
time. I should have known that the moment I saw he was still
wearing his wedding ring." She glanced at the kitchen clock.
"It's time we got downstairs."

"Okay. Okay. You're not going to change. Then I will."
With her hand on the kitchen door, Diana looked over her

shoulder at Becki. As usual, she was wearing a chic, washable
silk warm-up suit that did wonders for her tall, shapely figure.
"What?"

"I'll change too. Give me a pair of coveralls."
She was touched. "Oh, Becki, you don't have to do that."
Becki shrugged. "That's what friends are for. Huh?"
"Oh, Becki! You're great!"
"Yeah," Becki said grinning. "Tell me about it."
"But you are not changing into coveralls."

[Back to Table of Contents]

Eye of the Beholder

by Marilyn Lee

Chapter Five

"Daddy! Daddy! You came!"
Diana heard Carolyn's scream of pleasure and looked up

from the grill where she turned hot dogs. David Jordan
walked across the lawn.

She was immediately regretted her refusal to wear

something pretty enough to draw his gaze toward her and
keep it there. Why hadn't she worn the pink dress?

Becki walked over to her. "I don't think you should give up

so easily," Becki whispered in her ear. "Look at him. Even
dressed casually, he's gorgeous."

She pulled her gaze away from David to look at Becki. She

had to take several deep breaths before she could speak in a
normal voice. "He's not interested in me, but there's nothing
stopping you from taking a run at him."

Becki took a step backwards, as if Diana had attempted to

slap her. "What?! What do you take me for? Do you really
think I'd make a play for him knowing how you feel about
him?"

"How I ... I ... don't feel any particular way about him. If

you're interested in him, go for it," she said lightly, while part
of her died inside at the thought of the beautiful, svelte Becki
going after him.

"Oh, Di! You don't have to pretend with me or fear that I

will do anything to attract him. I won't. You know I won't."

Before she could respond, out of the corner of her eye, she

saw Carolyn practically dragging her father in their direction.

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by Marilyn Lee

"Oh, no!" She thrust the fork she held at Becki. "Here. I ...

I have to go inside to get the mustard."

Becki glanced over her shoulder at one of the picnic tables

they'd set up on the front lawn. "The mustard's on the table."

"It won't be enough," she said a little wildly and started

toward the house. She was not in the mood to face David
Jordan.

"Diana! Diana! Where are you going?"
She made it to the side door before Carolyn's voice

reached her. A quick glance over her shoulder revealed that
Carolyn had let go of her father's hand and was running after
her.

She raised her eyes and found David watching her. He was

dressed in a pair of dark casual slacks and an open-necked
white shirt. Men didn't come any more attractive than him. Or
any more unavailable.

Carolyn tugged on her hand.
She looked down into the child's troubled face. It was an

effort to smile. "I'm just going to get some mus ... something
from inside."

"But my daddy's here, Diana."
"Yes, I know." She squeezed Carolyn's hand. "Why don't

you go back and keep your daddy company? Make sure he
feels welcome."

"Are you going to come speak to him?"
"Of course I will. Maybe not right away, but..."
"Why not? Don't you like him?"

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by Marilyn Lee

"Yes, I do," she admitted. "I do like your father." That was

her problem. No matter how hard she tried not to, she liked
him all too well. "But honey, I don't think he likes me."

"Yes he does!" Carolyn said fiercely. "He just doesn't know

it yet."

"But you do?"
She nodded eagerly. "Yeah. He's my daddy. I've known

him all my life."

Diana laughed. "Do you think he'll mind if you come inside

and help me?"

Carolyn glanced over her shoulder. "Diana and I will be

right back to make you feel welcome, Daddy!" she bellowed.

Diana laughed again, and they went inside, hand in hand.

David frowned as he watched Carolyn go inside with Diana.

Carolyn liked the woman far too much for his peace of mind.
He wished Carolyn wasn't so attached to her, but there didn't
seem to be much he could do to change that.

He sighed. Of course he understood Carolyn's attachment

to her, since he himself found it difficult to stop thinking
about her. He kept recalling the comforting sound of her voice
and laughter. Worse, he kept seeing the warmth and promise
in her eyes when she looked at him. More, he felt it reaching
out to surround him with a sense of belonging that he hadn't
felt since that awful day of Harriet's accident.

"Hello, Carolyn's father."
He looked up to see a tall, slender, attractive woman

coming toward him across the grass. She was smiling, and

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by Marilyn Lee

her hand was extended. She was wearing a pair of white
coveralls similar to the ones Diana wore.

"Ms. Howard." He nodded politely.
"Diana and I are so glad you could come, Mr. Jordan.

Carolyn's been looking forward to having you here today.
She's a very sweet, well-mannered child. You must be very
proud of her." She glanced around the yard. "Where is she?"

"She's inside with Di—Ms. Stuart."
"That figures. It's nearly impossible to keep her away from

Diana." She smiled and sank down on the grass beside him.
"They bonded from day one. But I guess you already know
that. I understand you've finally met Diana."

He nodded. "Yes, I have."
"Then you know why Carolyn's so crazy about her."
Great. Another matchmaker. "Excuse me?"
"You know Diana's an absolute delight. She's pretty,

sweet, even-tempered, and a great cook. She's everything a
man could want." She gave him a coy look. "You're a man.
What do you think?"

Clearly, she didn't believe in beating around the bush. Had

Diana put her friend up to singing her praises? He was aware
of a sense of disappointment. Somehow he'd expected more
from Diana. Besides, it wasn't necessary.

"Have I embarrassed you, Mr. Jordan?"
"No," he said slowly. "And call me David."
"Sure thing, David, and I'm Becki." She smiled at him. "I

suppose you know that Diana isn't married or seeing anyone
special."

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by Marilyn Lee

"So I understand," he said in a cool voice he hoped would

deter her from any more personal remarks.

"But I wouldn't count on things staying that way," she

went on. "You see how it is with her. Someone is bound to
snatch her up before long. If I were you, I wouldn't wait—"

"I think you've made your point, Ms. Howard."
"Oh, good." She grinned at him. "I was beginning to run

out of things to say. So can I interest you in a hot dog?"

He nodded. Becki Gordon's nonstop chatter was enough to

give a man a royal headache. "Why not?"

She smiled. "Then follow me."
They rose and moved over to the grille. They topped hot

dogs with relish and mustard and then sat on the grass under
the shade of a tree. "So tell me, David, what do you do for a
living?"

"I'm fortunate enough to have two jobs I enjoy. I'm a CPA.

During tax season, I do taxes on the side. The rest of the
year, I'm a construction foremen."

"And you're a widower."
He nodded, swallowed hard and looked briefly away. "Yes."
"That must be very hard on both you and Carolyn. I can

tell by the way she clings to Diana that she really misses her
mom."

He bit into his hot dog. He chewed in silence for several

moments before swallowing and turning to look at her
through narrowed eyes. "Of course she misses her mother.
We both do."

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by Marilyn Lee

"And it's none of my business?" She didn't wait for him to

respond before she went on. "I know that. And I'm not trying
to be nosy, I'm—"

"No? Perhaps it's just seems that way to me."
She laughed. "You're right. I shouldn't poke my nose

where it doesn't belong. I just thought you should know that
... well, Diana is a lovely person. The best part is she's very
available. But with everything she has to offer, she won't be
for long. I wouldn't leave it too long, if I were you. But I've
already told you that."

"Yes," he agreed shortly. "You've already made that point."
"Oh, well." She shrugged. "You know what they say about

repetition being the mother of retention."

The woman was impossible. "I'll keep that in mind," he

said wearily.

"Daddy!"
He was relieved to see Carolyn and Diana emerge from the

house. Carolyn ran over to them. Her gaze went from him to
Becki and back to him. "What are you doing, Daddy?"

"Eating a hot dog."
"No. What are you doing with Becki?" Carolyn demanded.
He stared at Carolyn in surprise.
"He's not doing anything, Carolyn," Becki said, springing to

her feet. "We were actually talking about what a nice person
Diana is."

A smile replaced Carolyn's frown. "Oh. That's all right,

then."

Becki ruffled her hair. "Yes, it is. I'm outta here."
Finally, David thought thankfully.

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by Marilyn Lee

Carolyn tugged on his free hand in hers.
He looked at her.
"Daddy, aren't you going to come say hello to Diana?"
Diana stood laughing with two other parents on the other

side of the lawn. His eagerness to speak to her surprised him.
"Sure, sweetie." He finished his hot dog and got to his feet.

Carolyn smiled up at him. "She'll be glad to see you,

Daddy. She likes you and she thinks you're handsome."

"Yeah?"
"Yeah."
He smiled down at her. "Let's go say hello to your Diana."
She slipped her hands in his. "She could be your Diana, if

you wanted her to, Daddy."

He squeezed her hand gently. "Let's not go there again."
She tugged at his hand. "Oh, all right. Come on, Daddy."
"Okay, sweetie," he said, trying to ignore the butterflies in

his stomach. "Lead the way." Diana turned before they
reached her. For a moment he thought he saw a look of
delight in her eyes as her gaze met his. It was gone so fast
that he wasn't sure it had ever really been there.

"Hi Mrs. Smith and Mrs. Rhodes," Carolyn said to the two

women with Diana.

David smiled at the two women. "Hi. I'm David Jordan."
Carolyn barely waited for the women's response before

turning her attention to Diana. "I've bought my Daddy to say
hello to you, Diana."

"I'll bet you're as eager to talk to Diana as Carolyn is to

have you talk to her," Mrs. Rhodes said, smiling at him. She

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by Marilyn Lee

slipped her arm through Mrs. Smith. "Let's go see what our
darlings are up to."

"Here's my Daddy, Diana," Carolyn said again.
He looked down at Diana. "How are you?"
She smiled without meeting his gaze. "Fine. You?"
"Okay."
Now that he was close to her, he was aware of a feeling of

excitement. He liked being with her as much as Carolyn did.

"It means a lot to Carolyn to have you here today." She

motioned toward the table. "Please help yourself to anything
you like. Enjoy now."

He watched her walk away, suppressing the desire to

follow. He'd actually taken several steps after her when he
realized what he was doing and stopped.

"Daddy? Why are you stopping? Aren't you going to go

after her?"

He sighed. "No."
"Daddy? You didn't like Becki more than Diana. Did you?"
He took Carolyn's hand in his and led her to the tree where

he'd been sitting with Becki Howard. "Ms. Howard seems very
nice, but I'm not interested in her."

"Oh, good," she said and threw her arms around his neck.
I was afraid you'd like her better than Diana."
He hugged her. "Well, I don't."
"Good." She sat next to him. "Want to share a hot dog,

Daddy?"

"Yes, sweetie."
They finished the hot dog together and shared an orange

soda. He kept expecting Diana to come back over to talk to

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them. Not only did she keep her distance, but he couldn't see
that she even looked in his direction again. It wasn't until he
and Carolyn were ready to leave at four o'clock that she came
to say goodbye.

"Are you mad at Daddy and me, Diana?" Carolyn

demanded.

The question seemed to surprise her. "Oh, honey, no! Of

course not."

"Then why didn't you spend any time with us? We waited

and waited, but you didn't come to sit with us. Why?"

David found himself almost holding his breath, waiting for

her response.

She shrugged in an offhand manner that he found

annoying. "You and I spend a lot of time together. I thought
you and your daddy would want to be alone," she said lightly.
She smiled at Carolyn. "Have a great weekend, honey. See
you Monday."

"Okay. You too."
"Thanks, honey." Her smile vanished as she nodded in his

general direction. "Thanks for coming. Bye!" She walked away
without waiting for his reply.

He stared after her. What had happened to the warm,

funny woman with whom he and Carolyn had spent a
delightful afternoon at the park?

"I don't think she likes you anymore, Daddy."
David tore his gaze away from Diana's retreating figure to

look down at Carolyn. "I'm sorry. What did you say, sweetie?"

"Diana. Aren't you listening, Daddy? She says she does,

but she acts like she doesn't like you anymore."

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by Marilyn Lee

He shrugged, trying to project a nonchalance he didn't

feel. He scooped Carolyn up in his arms and hugged her.
"Never mind. As long as you like me, that's all that matters."
Even as he spoke, he knew he wasn't being honest. He did
care whether or not Diana Stuart liked or disliked him. He
needed to decide if he were prepared to do anything about it.

[Back to Table of Contents]

Eye of the Beholder

by Marilyn Lee

Chapter Six

"You want to talk about it?"
Diana tied the last plastic trash bag securely, carried it to

the side of the house, and tossed it into the dumpster. She
glanced around the front yard. No more balloons or party
favors were scattered on the lawn. Everything was just as it
had been that morning before the picnic.

"We need to talk, Diana."
She turned to face Becki, who stood at the open side door

with her hands on her hips. Even in those baggy coveralls,
Becki looked chic and attractive. Of course, David had noticed
her. She couldn't blame him. Or Becki, who'd done her best
to look as unattractive as possible.

"Diana!"
"No need to shout, Becki," she said lightly, giving the lawn

one final glance. "I heard you, but what's to talk about?"

Becki turned and followed Diana as she squeezed past her

on her way inside. "Nothing, but I get the feeling you think
there is."

Diana closed and locked the front door of the center before

turning to face Becki again. "Look, I was the one who told you
to go after him. I'm not going to complain now that you
have." She bit her lip. "I hope you two will ... well, you
know."

Becki shook her head. "No, I don't know! You're carrying

on as if I'd gone behind your back and got a date with him."

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by Marilyn Lee

"It wasn't behind my back." She pushed herself away from

the door. "Now, what about a cup of tea before you go?" She
started for the back of the house where a locked staircase
lead up to the apartments above the daycare. She half hoped
Becki would refuse. No such luck. She heard Becki behind her
on the stairs.

Inside her apartment, she put on the tea kettle. She could

feel Becki's eyes burning into her back. "I wasn't trying to
steal him from you, Diana."

She turned to face Becki. "He isn't mine to steal."
"Diana! Will you shut up long enough to listen to me? I'm

not interested in him, and he's not interested in me. We
talked about you."

Diana pressed her hands against her hot cheeks. "I'm

sorry, Becki. It's just that the two of you looked so perfect."

"Granted, your David is attractive. However, I happen to

be seeing someone already, thank you very much. But even if
I weren't, I would never go after him when I know how you
feel."

"You're seeing someone?" The kettle began boiling. Diana

set two cups on the table and carried the kettle to the table.

Becki had already slipped the tea bags into the cups. Diana

poured water over them and resumed her seat. "Who?
Details, Becki. Give me details."

Becki grinned at her. "I met him at the supermarket two

months ago."

"Two whole months? Why haven't I heard about him?"

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by Marilyn Lee

Becki added sugar to her cup. "Our relationship is so new.

I didn't want to ... well, you know. I wanted to really get
settled with him before I talked about him."

Diana took an appreciative sip from her cup. "Tell me

more. What's his name?"

"Paul Hamilton Mitchell."
"And what does Paul Hamilton Mitchell do for a living?"
"He's a buyer for a department store. He's never been

married and he's a great guy." Becki's eyes sparkled. "I really
like him, Di." She shrugged. "The only downer is that he's
sort of religious."

Diana's smile vanished. She put down her cup. "How is his

being religious a downer?"

"Oh, don't look at me like that. I just meant he'll soon be

expecting me to go to church with him."

"And that would be a bad thing because...?"
"I didn't say it was bad," Becki denied. "I'm just not ready

to go all devout. When you do, there are so many things you
can't do."

"When you are devout, you won't want to do those things,"

Diana corrected. "There's a difference." She propped her
elbows on the table. "You didn't tell me what he said about
me? David Jordan, I mean."

Becki looked disappointed. "Nothing really. He didn't have

time. First I had to work my way up to telling him what a
great catch you were. When I had, Carolyn came charging
over demanding to know what he was doing with me. That
child is absolutely crazy about you."

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by Marilyn Lee

"The feeling is mutual, but David Jordan's not interested in

me."

"Oh, I wouldn't be too sure about that. He spent most of

the day watching you."

"So he likes to watch me. So what? So far it's gotten me

absolutely nowhere fast with him."

"Things can and do change."
"Maybe so, but who says I want them to?" She picked up

her cup and sipped her tea. "We have absolutely nothing in
common."

"Come on, Di. You don't mean that."
She nodded. "I do."
"Having second thoughts because he's white?"
"No. I'm having second thoughts about wasting my time

daydreaming about a man who's not interested in me. Life's
too short and to full for that."

"And his being white?"
"Has nothing to do with anything."
"Do you think it's an issue for him?"
Diana shook her head. "No, I don't."

Diana lay on a chaise lounge with her eyes closed,

enjoying the warm starlit night on the small balcony outside
her living room. Earlier, she had prayed for the strength to
forget David Jordan. Now, she just wanted to work in
harmony with her prayers by not thinking about him. Just at
the moment, it wasn't working.

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by Marilyn Lee

She jumped when the phone shattered the calmness of the

night. She sat up, reaching for the handset, which lay at the
end of the lounge. "Hello," she said.

"Hello, Diana. This is Gloria Jordan."
"Mrs. Jordan?" Why would Carolyn's grandmother be

calling her at nine o'clock on a Friday night? "What can I do
for you?"

"I know it's rather late for a social call."
She released a deep breath she hadn't realized she was

holding. "A social call?"

"Yes, dear. I won't keep you long. I just wanted to tell you

how being at the center with you has really helped Carolyn.
She's no longer withdrawn and sad."

"That's very kind of you to say, Mrs. Jordan, but—"
"I'm not being kind. And dear, please call me Gloria."
"Oh. Well, thank you, Gloria, but I'm not the only one

Carolyn interacts with at the daycare. Becki Howard is—"

"Yes, yes, dear. I know Ms. Howard is a dear, but you're

the one who's been so instrumental in helping Carolyn. And
I'm so grateful. I'd like to do something to show my
appreciation."

"That's very kind, but not necessary. Anything I may have

done for her, I've enjoyed doing."

"Oh, how sweet, but it would mean a lot to me if you'd let

me do something for you. Why don't you come to dinner
sometime? As you know, I'm a widow and I live alone. I'm
sometimes lonely. Won't you extend some of the kindness
you've shown Carolyn to me?"

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by Marilyn Lee

There was no way she wanted to spend another day in

David Jordan's company. "That's sounds very nice," she
began. "but—"

"How about Sunday at three?" Gloria interrupted.
Diana blinked. "Sunday. This Sunday?"
"I thought the two of us could have a nice dinner and talk

a little."

Just the two of them? She relaxed. "I'll be in church until

early afternoon. I'll be free around four, but my car is in the
shop so I'll have to get a ride there and back."

"Four is just fine, dear. If you can manage to find a ride

here, I'll drive you home."

"Okay. Can I bring anything? A meat? A vegetable dish?"
"Just yourself, dear. I plan to spoil you a little."
She smiled, touched. "I'll come prepared to be spoiled."

"Oh, dear, did you have to wear jeans?"
David stared at his mother in surprise as he closed her

kitchen door behind him and Carolyn. "That's an unusual
greeting, Mom." He bent to kiss her cheek. He straightened
and inhaled deeply. "Something smells finger-licking good."

"I've a baked chicken and a ham in the oven, dear," she

answered, staring at him through narrowed eyes. "Oh, dear, I
really think you have a bad case of five o'clock shadow. I
wished you'd shaved before you came."

"I never shave on Sundays and I always wear jeans."
She nodded, looking unhappy. "I'd forgotten, otherwise I'd

have reminded you to shave when I called."

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by Marilyn Lee

"Why? It's not as if we have company." He paused, looking

around the kitchen. The big, mahogany table where the three
of them usually ate Sunday dinner wasn't set. "Do you want
me and Carolyn to lay the table?"

"The table in the dining room is already laid," she said as

she checked her pots on the stove. "And actually, dear, we do
have company."

He opened his mouth to ask who, but suddenly he knew

who her guest was. He turned to look at his mother. "Mom!
You didn't."

She met his gaze. "Didn't what?"
"Didn't what?" Carolyn repeated. "What didn't Granny do?"
"Nothing, dear."
"She knows," David said coolly.
His mother smiled sweetly at him. "Why don't you go into

the living room and say hello to our guest? I'll keep Carolyn
here to help me."

"And what if I'm not in the mood to do that, Mom?"
"I didn't raise you to be rude. You'll go say hello," she said

confidently.

He bit back the response trembling on his lips as he turned

on his heel. There was nothing to stop him from collecting
Carolyn and leaving. Nothing, that is, except his desire to see
Diana Stuart again.

As he had known, she was in the living room. She wore a

pretty, soft pink dress with a full skirt that swirled around her
calves as she swayed in time to the classical music filling the
air. The heels she wore highlighted her legs, which were very
nice.

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Her eyes were closed so she wasn't aware of him. He stood

in the doorway, unable to look away from her. Her
movements were as graceful and sweeping as a dancer's. His
gaze shifted to her hands. He imaged them caressing his
cheeks as she leaned in to touch her mouth to his.

She opened her eyes suddenly, saw him, gasped, and

came to an abrupt stop. "Mr. Jordan! I ... I didn't hear you.
How ... how long have you been standing there?"

He found her breathless voice rather attractive. How would

it sound whispering something soft and sweet to him?

"Only for a few moments."
"Why didn't you say something?"
"I didn't want to startle you." Noting how lovely she

looked, he suddenly wished he had shaved and worn a pair of
dress pants.

"And yet you did."
"Sorry." He strolled into the room. "My mother sent me to

entertain you while she and Carolyn finish dinner."

"Oh."
"Can I get you anything?"
She shook her head. "Ah, no. I had some of your mother's

excellent lemonade ten minutes ago."

For a moment, they stood in silence, staring at each other.
"I didn't expect to see you here. I understood from your

mother that it would be just the two of us for dinner."

"And I thought it would be just Mom, Carolyn and me."
She looked dismayed. "Oh. Then you wouldn't have come

if you known I'd be here."

He shook his head. "I didn't say that."

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by Marilyn Lee

"You didn't need to. I know how you feel." She glanced

over her shoulder toward the kitchen. "I wish your mother
had told me you'd be here." She sounded and looked
irritated.

"I get the feeling you wouldn't have come if you'd known

Carolyn and I would be here."

Her response was quick and ego deflating. "You're right. I

wouldn't have come."

He frowned. "Why not?"
She stared at him, her dark eyes narrowed. "I think you

know the answer to that question."

"No, I don't."
"I'm sure you can figure it out with a little effort. In the

meantime, I'm going home."

"No!" The word was forced out of his mouth before he

could stop it.

She stared at him. "What?"
"You're here now, and Mom is sure to have cooked enough

food for at least ten people."

"Maybe so, but this isn't what I expected when I agreed to

come to dinner." She scooped her handbag up from the sofa.
"Would you explain to your mother that I had to go?"

"No, I won't."
She shrugged. "Fine. I'll explain myself the next time I see

her." She left the living room.

He could hear her heels clinking on the tiles in the hallway.

Moments later, he heard her struggling to open the deadbolt
lock on the front door.

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by Marilyn Lee

He left the living room and rushed down the hall to the

front door.

She turned to face him. "Would you help me with the

door? I can't seem to figure out how to unlock it."

"I think you've misunderstood. I—"
"Are you going to unlock the door for me?"
He shook his head. "Not until you hear me out."
She turned back to the door, stared at both locks in silence

for several moments, and finally managed to get the door
open. She quickly went through, closing it behind herself.

He pulled the door open.
In her haste to get away from him, she was practically

running down the sidewalk.

"Diana! Wait!" He followed her out of the house. Uncaring

of the neighbors sitting on front porches watching, he reached
out, caught her hand in his, and bought her to a reluctant
stop. He turned her to face him. The sight of tears in her eyes
stunned him. "Hey! Don't cry."

She tugged at her hand. "Let go."
He softened his voice. "I will. I just want you to

understand."

"There's nothing to understand, Mr. Jordan." Her voice

shook, but she stared defiantly up at him.

"I think there is. You seem to think that I don't like you,"

he began slowly, nonplused by her tears. Why couldn't
women play fair? Why did they always have to resort to
tears?

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by Marilyn Lee

She tugged at her hand again. Instead of releasing it, he

cradled it in his, rubbing the ball of his thumb across the back
of her hand. "I wish you'd let me explain."

"There's nothing to explain. I knew the moment we met

that I wasn't the type of woman you'd be attracted to. And I
am painfully aware that a lot of men don't like women my
size. You're obviously one of them."

"You don't know enough about me to say that!" he said,

stung by her less than flattering assessment of his character.
She made him sound like an immature boy who didn't know
that beauty was only skin deep.

"I know enough to know that I don't want to know

anymore," she said in a biting voice.

He dropped her hand. "I'm sorry to hear that, because I've

known for some time now that I don't know nearly as much
about you as I'd like to," he was stunned to hear himself
admit.

She stared up at him. "I ... what?"
"And it might interest you to know that I find you very

attractive. Even when you're wearing those ridiculous
coveralls." He allowed his gaze to flick briefly over her. "And
especially when you're wearing pink."

[Back to Table of Contents]

Eye of the Beholder

by Marilyn Lee

Chapter Seven

Diana didn't believe him. She didn't want to. She was past

caring what he thought of her. She'd made her peace. So why
was her heart beating so furiously? And why was she eagerly
awaiting his next words?

"Look, Diana, I know I've been sort of a ... a..."
"Jerk would be an appropriate word with which to fill in the

blank," she said helpfully.

His eyes narrowed slightly and his lips tightened, but he

nodded. "Okay. I've been a jerk. Satisfied? Now come back
inside."

Now that was definitely not a good idea. That way laid

almost certain heartbreak. There was only one acceptable
answer. So why didn't she give it?

It wasn't like her to be so indecisive. Even when he

reached out to take her hand in his again, she didn't resist.
Instead, her breath caught in her throat. "That's not a good
idea," she finally muttered.

"How do you know unless you try it?" He squeezed her

hand gently.

She swallowed hard.
"Look, Mom will have told Carolyn you're here. She will be

very disappointed if you leave. Worse, she'll blame me."

That's what this was all about! "I see. You want to me to

come back for Carolyn's sake?" She jerked at her hand.

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by Marilyn Lee

His grip on her hand tightened. "No! I put that badly. Let

me make myself clear. I want you to come back because I
want you to come back."

She longed to believe him. Still, wouldn't going back be

working out of harmony with her prayer to forget him? She
hesitated, biting her lip. Her head urged her to say no and
leave. Her heart, with its own ideas, won. "Okay."

He released her hand.
They returned to the house in silence. She was very

conscious of him and his subtle cologne. She liked the rugged
look of his unshaven face. Back inside the living room, she sat
on the sofa. A warm feeling spread through her as he sat
beside her, half facing her.

She waited for him to say something. Anything. He didn't

oblige. He just sat there staring at her.

"So, Mr. Jor—"
"David."
"David," she repeated, nodding slowly, regaining her

confidence. "Nice name. Nice man." Oh, no, Diana! she wailed
inwardly. You're flirting with him again! She almost felt him
stiffen beside her. She waited for the withdrawal. Maybe a
cutting remark. She turned to face him. "Look, I don't usually
go around flirting with men I don't know."

That hadn't come out right. Now he'd think she did flirt

with men she did know.

"So you're making an exception in my case?" And when

she reluctantly nodded, he smiled. "Good."

Her heart began to pound, and her stomach twisted into

knots. Sitting next to him was going to her head. She got to

Eye of the Beholder

by Marilyn Lee

her feet and moved to a single chair. "This is better. Now we
can talk. If you want."

"I want," he said softly. He glanced over his shoulder,

toward the door which lead toward the back of the house. She
vaguely heard Carolyn's laughter, presumably coming from
the kitchen. "But not here. Not now."

Was he having second thoughts already? "Then where?

When?"

He hesitated. She saw the indecision in his eyes. She

waited. He was facing one of the roadblocks he'd put up
between them. Was he ready to go around it to meet her
halfway?

"I thought maybe we could have dinner."
"When?" She was doing it again. Acting too eager. Not

leaving him guessing like her cousin Hank always said a
woman should.

"When?"
"Yes. When David?"
"Ah ... tomorrow night around seven? What kind of food do

you like?"

"You see, David, the trouble is, I like most foods." She

surprised herself by laughing. After a moment of silence, he
joined in.

"So it's a date then?"
She nodded. "Yes."
"Have you ever been to the Moshulu down at Penn's

Landing?" he asked of an old sailing boat that had been
turned into a restaurant. "I thought we could have dinner

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by Marilyn Lee

there. Then maybe walk along the pier later, if it's not too
cool. Okay?"

She would gladly walk along the pier with him in the midst

of a gale force wind if he asked her. However, she thought it
best to keep that knowledge to herself. "It sounds great."

"Good." He patted the sofa next to him. "Come beside me.

I don't bite, you know."

"No? Well, I can't promise I won't bite you." She groaned

and closed her eyes briefly. She was hopeless; determined to
run him away with overly aggressively behavior.

"I'll take my chances," he said, patting the sofa cushion

again.

She resumed her seat next to him. She tingled when he

took her hand in his, linking his lean fingers with hers. Oh,
Lord, she prayed silently. Show me the way.

David looked down at their entwined hands. In contrast to

his work-roughened, pale fingers, hers was soft, brown, and
warm. And yet their linked fingers looked right together. He
was surprised at the affect she was having on him. Why
should he be so aware of a woman so physically different
from the type he preferred?

"Daddy!"
She gently pulled at her hand and he released it and stood

up just as Carolyn ran into the room. Carolyn's eyes danced
with delight when she saw Diana. "Diana! Why didn't you tell
me you were here?"

"It was a surprise," Diana said in her normal, sweet voice.
"I like surprises." Carolyn turned to look at him. "Granny

says it's time for dinner."

Eye of the Beholder

by Marilyn Lee

He turned to look at her. She smiled at him and he smiled

back. Still, the look in her eyes gave him an uneasy feeling.
Had he been too hasty? He'd meant everything he'd said to
get her back inside the house. But just maybe he wasn't
ready to jump feet first into a relationship with her. All his
instincts told him she wasn't the kind of woman to accept or
settle for anything less than a total commitment.

He now had to admit he wanted to get to know her.

Nevertheless, he wasn't ready for what she seemed to want.
But then he didn't really know what she wanted. He was only
making assumptions. "Daddy!"

"What?" he asked, distractedly.
"You're not listening again!" Carolyn complained.
"I'm sorry, sweetie. What did you say?"
Carolyn grinned up at him. "I asked what you were doing

in here all alone with Diana."

"Talking."
Carolyn looked disappointed. "Just talking? You weren't

kissing or hugging her a little? She's really nice to hug,
Daddy. I'll bet she's nice to kiss too. Just like you are."

Aware of Diana watching with an unabashed smile on her

face, he felt the back of his neck burning. Just two weeks
ago, he would have held her lack of embarrassment against
her. Definitely not now.

He scowled down at Carolyn. "That's a very personal

question, young lady."

"Well, I'm your very personal daughter, Daddy."
"So you are, but it's none of your business."

Eye of the Beholder

by Marilyn Lee

"But Daddy, your business is my business," Carolyn

insisted.

He laughed, brushing the back of his fingers across her

cheek. "Nice try, Sweetcakes."

"Well, let's go eat then." She slipped a hand into his before

turning to extend her free one to Diana, who accepted it with
a warm smile.

Daddy was doing it again. Staring at Diana. He wasn't

talking and he wasn't eating much. And Daddy loved Granny's
cooking. Carolyn stifled a happy giggle. Daddy was sitting at
the head of the table with Diana on his right, Granny on his
left, and her next to Granny. Daddy was going to get a stiff
neck if he didn't look at something besides Diana soon.

But she was happy. She'd been praying hard that Daddy

would change his mind about Diana. And it had worked! She'd
have to be a very good and say an extra special prayer to
thank the Lord for opening Daddy's eyes.

"So, honey, what would you like to do this Saturday?"
Carolyn sighed happily and turned to look at Granny as

she spoke to her. "I don't know." She looked at Daddy. "What
are we doing Saturday, Daddy?"

"No. I meant you and me, honey," Granny said. "I haven't

had you to myself for a whole day for over a month. I was
hoping we could do something together. Just the two of us."

Carolyn giggled. Granny liked to spend what she called

"quality time" with her. She liked it too. "What kind of stuff,
Granny?"

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by Marilyn Lee

"Female stuff," Granny said, winking at her. "Can do,

honey?"

"Can do, Granny!"
"Good." Granny smiled at Daddy. "What about you, dear?

Do you have any plans for Saturday?"

She giggled when Daddy looked at Diana before shrugging.

"Nothing at the moment."

"You and Daddy can do something together, Diana!"

Carolyn said. "Won't that be fun?"

"Sounds like it," Diana agreed, her gaze on Daddy's face.
Now was Daddy's chance to ask Diana out. She leaned

forward in her seat, not wanting to miss a word. But Daddy
remained silent. And now, he wasn't even looking at Diana.
She slumped back against her seat. What was wrong with
Daddy, anyway?

Diana folded her napkin and laid it on the table next to her

plate. "That was a lovely meal. Thank you for inviting me."

"Thank you for coming." Granny smiled. "I'm delighted you

could join us. I'm sure David and Carolyn feel the same way."

She sat up in her seat, grinning. "We sure do! Don't we,

Daddy?"

"It was ... a pleasant surprise," Daddy finally said.
"Well, I'd better be on my way," Diana said.
Without making a date with Daddy! She panicked. She

didn't know what to do. She turned to look at Granny.

She felt better when Granny smiled at her before looking

at Daddy. "David, dear, I was thinking. Why don't you let
Carolyn spend the night here? That way, we can get a head
start on that quality time."

Eye of the Beholder

by Marilyn Lee

"Okay. Thanks, Mom."
Carolyn was surprised and a little hurt at how quickly

Daddy agreed. She and Daddy had never spent a night apart
since Mommy went to live with the Lord.

"Good. Then you can take Diana home. She lives above

the daycare. It's right on your way, dear."

"I can walk with no problem," Diana said quickly. "I don't

want to be a bother."

Carolyn frowned. Diana didn't sound as if she wanted to be

with Daddy.

"It's no bother," Daddy said, just as quickly.
"Good. Then it's all settled," Granny said.
Daddy looked at her. "Is that all right with you, sweetie?"
It wasn't, but Diana was never going to be her new

mommy if she and Daddy didn't spend time alone. She smiled
at him. "Yes, Daddy."

Diana's perfume filled the cab of the SUV as David drove

her home. For the first time in years, he found himself
wishing that he was driving a car instead of a sports utility
vehicle. Harriet had always insisted she didn't mind not
having a car. He wondered if Diana minded. But there was an
upside to taking her home in his SUV. He got to hold her hand
as he helped her out.

He kept her hand in his as he walked her up the driveway.
At the door, she smiled up at him. "Would you like to come

in for a cup of coffee?"

Eye of the Beholder

by Marilyn Lee

"Yes," he said and eagerly followed her up the two flights

of stairs to her apartment.

Her apartment was a combination of white walls, deep blue

woodwork, long blue and white curtains, and dark blue
carpeting. It suited her. "Would you like to hear some music?"
She walked over to the stereo in the corner of the big living
room. "Do you like jazz?"

He nodded, smiling. He and Harriet had shared most

interests, except a taste in music. She'd only tolerated jazz
when he was around, and he did the same for easy listening
when she was around. "I love it."

"There! You see," she said as if she had finally proven a

much disputed point after a protracted argument. "We
already have something in common."

He stared at her. When she smiled like that, she was all

dark warmth and beauty. "You mean in addition to a mutual
physical attraction?"

Her smile vanished.
He raked a hand through his hair. Had his careless remark

made her think he was one of those blockheads who turned
every outing into a wrestling match? "I didn't mean that the
way it must have sounded," he said quickly. "I'll never
overstep any bounds you set."

The tension left her shoulders and she smiled again. "Oh,

David. I didn't think that."

"You didn't? Good. I wouldn't want you to think you

couldn't trust me."

"Of course, I trust you, David. Now that that's settled,

here's a really big question."

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by Marilyn Lee

"Okay," he said cautiously. "Shoot. I can handle it."
"Okay. Here goes. I know some men really hate this, but

I'm going to ask it anyway."

"All right," he said wearily, certain her question was going

to put him on the spot.

"Okay. You don't mind instant coffee? Do you?"
He stared at her in surprise, then laughed. "No." He was

beginning to think he wouldn't mind much of anything about
Diana Stuart.

"Good."
They exchanged warm smiles.
"Put on any of the CD's there, have a seat, and I'll be right

back," she told him.

Ten minutes later they were sitting on the big, blue sofa

along one wall, drinking coffee and listening to Miles Davis.
He felt relaxed, content to just sit next to her.

"Carolyn's a beautiful little girl," she said suddenly. "Does

she ... take after her mother?"

The question snapped David out of his reverie. He didn't

want to talk about Harriet with Diana. He nodded, glanced at
his watch, and rose. "It's getting late. I should be going."

She blinked up at him. "Did I say something I shouldn't

have?"

"No. Of course not. I just thought since Carolyn's staying

with Mom, I'd go home and..." And what? Think about Diana?
Feel guilty for wanting to be with her?

When he didn't respond, she rose.
He stepped back.

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by Marilyn Lee

"Are you ... I know it hasn't been long since your wife

died—"

"She didn't die," he said sharply. "She was killed. There's a

difference."

"I know. I'm sorry, David."
She reached out a hand to touch his arm, but he shook his

head and turned away. "I have to go."

"David! Wait a minute. Please."
He turned back to face her. The distress on her face was

clear. He was an idiot. "Look, I'm sorry," he said, wanting to
make things right with her. "If you could just bear with me for
awhile. This is all so new. When I married Harriet, I expected
to spend the rest of my life with her. I have to get used to
dating all over again."

She inclined her head slightly.
He brushed his fingers against the back of her hand. "I'll

see you tomorrow night. That is, if I haven't scared you off."

She flashed him a brief smile. "No such luck."
He stared down into her eyes. Her expression was open

and honest. He would always know where he stood with her.
"I'm glad to hear that. I'll try not to make it too hard on you."

"I'll hold you to that," she said quietly.
He nodded. "I'm sure you will."
"Y'all know I will."
He probably owed her an explanation, but he wasn't up to

it just yet. He sighed. "I ... I don't want to scare you off."

She flashed him a brief, reassuring smile. "It'll take more

than a little bad temper to scare me off."

Eye of the Beholder

by Marilyn Lee

"Good. I'll call you." He resisted the urge to lean down to

kiss her mouth, squeezed her hand gently, and let himself out
of her apartment.

[Back to Table of Contents]

Eye of the Beholder

by Marilyn Lee

Chapter Eight

David called his mother as soon as he got home. "Can you

keep Carolyn overnight tomorrow?"

"Oh, David! Dear, you're taking her out."
"Yes," he admitted reluctantly, perching on the edge of his

recliner. Now she would hit him with a barrage of questions
and unwanted suggestions.

"I'd be glad to have Carolyn for another night and when

she finds out why you're—"

"I'd just as soon she didn't find out, Mom."
"But why, dear? It would make her very happy."
He sat back in his chair in the darkened living room. "I

don't want to get her hopes up. I'm taking Diana out to
dinner. It's not as if I'm interested in marrying her."

"David! What are you suggesting? That you're seeing

Diana without any intentions of ... she's a devout Christian!"

He sighed. "Right now I just know I want to see her, but I

have no intentions of hurting her or..."

"Or what? David, she's serious about you. You must know

that. It's obvious every time she looks at you. It would be so
easy for you to hurt her."

"I'm not going to hurt her, Mom, and I don't want Carolyn

to know about our date."

"It's your decision, David, but I think you're making a

mistake. About not telling Carolyn and seeing Diana without
any serious interest."

Eye of the Beholder

by Marilyn Lee

He sighed. He knew that frosty tone. "I'd never do

anything to compromise her faith. You seem to forget that
I'm a Christian, too."

"No, David, you're the one who's been forgetting that

lately," she reminded him.

"If I have, I've been given ample reason to!" he said. "I

played by the rules! I didn't sleep around. I married the
woman I loved! I didn't drink or gamble. We taught Carolyn
to know and love God, and where did it get me? I lost the
most important person in my life. And for what? What did I do
to deserve that? What did she do? We did everything that was
required of us. Why did it happen to me? To her? To us? Why
not to some ... some godless person who never cared about
what God required of him? Why is she dead?"

"Oh, David!" Her voice cracked and he knew she was

fighting back tears. "You've read the account of Job's
suffering and you know that being a Christian is not a
guarantee that bad things won't happen to us or to those we
love."

"Then maybe there's no point in being one!"
"Oh, David! How can you say such a thing?"
There was no mistaking the sob in her voice this time.

"Don't cry, Mom. Please. I'm not saying I don't believe in God
anymore. I'm just having a little problem working things out.
I need a little more time."

"Then maybe you should wait to take Diana out."
"No. No. Wanting to take her out is one of the few things

I'm sure of."

"Come back home, David, and we'll pray together."

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by Marilyn Lee

While Harriet lay in the hospital in a coma for two weeks,

he'd prayed. Incessantly. Fervently. She'd died anyway.
"Mom, you pray for me, if it'll make you feel better."

"You're not coming."
"No."

"I know it's late, but I need to talk to you."
Diana knew the moment she heard Gloria Jordan's voice

on the phone that something was wrong. She turned off the
movie she'd been watching and pushed her recliner into the
upright position. "I'm listening."

"David told me he'd asked you out. Before you go, I think

there's something you should know about him and Harriet."

"Okay," she said slowly. "I'll ask him."
"He won't want to talk about their relationship."
That much she knew. "Then I probably don't need to know

right now. I appreciate your willingness to tell me, but if he
doesn't want me to know about them, I'll wait until he does."

"Oh, dear. You are a treasure. I didn't intend to break any

of his confidences. I just want to tell you that he's still having
a hard time accepting Harriet's death. He won't be too easy to
get along with right now, but if you can hang in there for
awhile, he's well worth knowing ... and loving."

The loving part she already had down. That left the

knowing part. "I can be patient, if that's want he needs."

"He needs that and a lot of love. He's really hurting now,

and there's nothing I can do to help him except pray for him.
I'm hoping you can do more."

Eye of the Beholder

by Marilyn Lee

After they said their goodnights, Diana got down on her

knees and prayed for a long time before she went to bed that
night. She lay sleepless for what seemed like hours. Gloria's
call had unnerved her in a way she couldn't explain.

What had David said to his mother to trigger that call to

her? And what had his mother wanted to tell her? Had she
made a mistake by not listening? It was all well and good to
be noble, but if David chose not to tell her things she needed
to know, where would that leave her? Them? Or any
relationship they might hope to have together? If he didn't
feel that he could talk to her, would they even have a
relationship at all?

She remembered that he'd said they shared not a mutual

liking, but a mutual physical attraction. It was much more
than that for her. Was she equal to the challenge of making it
more for him?

Diana couldn't decide if she should tell Becki about her

date with David. In the end, she decided not to. She felt
mean, but she didn't feel up to answering all the questions
Becki was sure to bombard her with if she knew.

Carolyn was another matter. The moment Gloria and she

arrived the next afternoon, she rushed across the room to
throw her arms around Diana's legs. "Diana! Hello, Diana!"

"Hiya, sweetie!" She leaned down to give Carolyn a quick

squeeze before straightening to face Gloria. Gloria smiled, but
Diana saw the worried look in the blue eyes so like David's.
"Good morning, dear."

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by Marilyn Lee

"Good morning, Gloria." She smiled down at Carolyn.

"Sweetie, why don't you go take your jacket off and put your
lunch box away?"

"Okay." Carolyn unwrapped her arms from Diana and

threw herself at Gloria for a hug. "Goodbye, Granny."

"Goodbye, darling. Have a great afternoon."
Gloria turned to smile at her. "I hope you enjoy your

evening, dear."

Diana felt the blood rush to her cheeks and hoped that

Becki, sitting across the room, couldn't hear over the noise of
the children playing. "Thanks."

"Well. I'll see you later, dear." She waved at Carolyn and

left.

"Diana, can I ask you something?"
She glanced down to find Carolyn at her side. "Of course."
"Did my daddy kiss you when he took you home last

night?"

"No, he didn't."
"Then why didn't you kiss him?"
She suppressed a smile. That would have gone over real

well with David. "Because your father wouldn't have liked
that."

Carolyn blinked up at her. "Who told you that? Daddy

loves to be kissed. Me and Granny kiss him all the time."

Diana kneeled beside Carolyn. "I'm sure you're right, but

we really don't know each other well enough for that."

Carolyn frowned. "How long will it take before you know

him well enough to kiss him?"

"Carolyn! Come play with me!" A small voice demanded.

Eye of the Beholder

by Marilyn Lee

Both Carolyn and Diana turned to see Susie Howard sitting

on the floor several feet away, playing with a 3-D jigsaw
puzzle.

"Go ahead, sweetie," Diana said eagerly.
"Oh. All right," Carolyn said and skipped across the room

to join Susie.

She sighed, knowing Carolyn, she knew her reprieve was

only momentary. She walked across to the desk, just as the
phone rang. She lifted the receiver. "Good afternoon. Happy
Time Daycare. Diana Stuart speaking."

"Hi Diana."
Against the backdrop of muted sounds of machinery, she

recognized David's deep, warm voice immediately. She sank
down onto the chair behind the desk. Her heart was
pounding, but she was proud of how steady her voice was.
"Oh. David. Hello."

"I called to remind you of our date tonight."
As if she could forget it. "Well, I'm glad you did because I

clean forgot all about it," she teased.

"You did?"
He sounded as nervous as she felt. Which served to endear

him to her even more while increasing her own comfort level.
"No, of course not. I'm only teasing."

"Oh! Well ... ah ... good! Last night, I was—I'm sorry I

wasn't..."

"Last night doesn't matter," she said quietly.
"Okay. So. Then. I'll see you later?"
"Yes."
"Good. I ... I'm ... looking forward to tonight."

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She smiled. "So am I."
"Ah ... so ... bye."
"Goodbye." She put the phone down and realized that the

noise level in the room had greatly decreased. And both Becki
and Carolyn were staring at her.

For a moment she wasn't sure why. Granted she had

smiled like the proverbial Cheshire cat when David told her he
was looking forward to their date, but neither Carolyn nor
Becki could have known who she was talking to. Unless ...
she groaned silently as she recalled herself clearly calling him
David.

"That was my daddy!" Carolyn accused, bounding to her

feet. "Why didn't you let me talk to him?"

"It was? What's going on here?" Becki demanded, right

behind Carolyn.

Diana groaned inwardly and prepared herself for the

onslaught of indignant questions.

She waited until they were both standing in front of the

desk before she spoke. "He didn't ask to speak to you,
Carolyn."

"Then what did he want?"
She opened her mouth, then quickly closed it. David

probably wanted to tell Carolyn about their date himself. "We
needed to discuss something that had nothing to do with
you," she said. Hopefully she didn't sound as guilty as she
felt.

Carolyn's eyes narrowed and she stared at Diana with a

disbelieving look on her face. "Are you sure?"

"Yes," she said calmly. "I'm sure."

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"Well. All right, but you could have let me talk to him. I'm

not going to see him until tomorrow night. Granny told me
this morning that he had something to do and I'm to spend
another night with her. I don't like it when we don't see each
other every day."

"I didn't know," she said. "But he was calling from work so

he didn't really have much time to talk."

Carolyn shot her an angry look before going back to play

with Susie.

Becki parked herself on the side of the desk. "Isn't there

something you want to tell me?" she demanded in a hurt
voice.

Diana glanced across the room to find Carolyn watching

her. This wasn't right. She shouldn't be hiding things and
lying by omission to the important people in her life.

"He asked me out," she said quietly. "But I don't think he

wants Carolyn to know."

She saw Becki check the impulse to glance in Carolyn's

direction. "Why not? She'd be thrilled."

"I don't know why not, but I'm going to find out tonight."
"Tonight? You're seeing him tonight?" Becki demanded,

her voice an excited squeak.

Diana nodded. "I am so nervous. I don't know what to

wear, how to act, what to say to him."

Becki patted her hand. "Just be yourself and he'll love you,

just as everyone else does."

"He's not everyone else," she pointed out.
"No. I knew that when you told me you flirted with him."

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by Marilyn Lee

Great. Everyone knew how she felt about him. His mother.

Becki. Possibly Carolyn. Come to that, he probably knew too.
She might as well make up a sign that said Diana Loves David
and wear it around her neck.

"Diana! Come play with us!"
She glanced across the room where Carolyn was sitting,

still watching her suspiciously. "We'll have to talk about this
later," she said, getting to her feet. "Right now, I have some
fences to mend."

She walked across the room and sank down on the

carpeted beside Carolyn and Susie. "Here, I am," she said
brightly.

"Hi, Diana," Susie said, her blue eyes bright with welcome.
"Hi, honey," Diana said.
Carolyn watched with narrowed eyes, her lips pressed into

an angry, thin line. "Why do you call everybody honey?"

"I like being called honey," Susie said, glaring at Carolyn.

"Diana can call me honey anytime she wants."

"Oh, yeah?" Carolyn challenged. "Well, you're not really

her honey." She turned to face Diana. "Tell her you like me
best of all. Tell her!"

"No she doesn't like you best!" Susie said indignantly.

"Why should she?"

"Because she likes my daddy! Not yours."
"She doesn't know my daddy!"
"Yeah? Well, she wouldn't like him even if she did because

she likes mine!"

"No she doesn't!"
"Does too!"

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Diana sighed. She should have seen this coming. "That's

enough. Both of you. Who I like and don't like is not open for
discussion. I like you both and I think you're both honeys,"
she said firmly.

Even as she spoke, she knew she was alienating Carolyn.

But she couldn't admit to Susie that Carolyn was dearer to
her than any of the other children.

"See! I told you!" Susie said triumphantly, snatched up her

puzzle, and stormed away. Carolyn glared at her. "Why didn't
you tell her the truth?"

"Because when you're here, I have to treat you just like

the other children."

"Why can't you tell the truth?" she demanded, tears filling

her eyes. "Don't you like me more?"

She stroked her hand against Carolyn's cheek, then bent

her head to whisper in her ear. "Yes, I do."

"Then why didn't you say so?"
"Because I can't. Not here. Here I have to treat you all the

same. But when we're away from here, I can show you how I
feel. Do you understand?"

Carolyn looked mutinous for a moment, then she threw

her arms around her neck and kissed her. "Okay. All right, as
long as you're sure you like me more."

She hugged Carolyn to her. "Oh, honey, I do."

[Back to Table of Contents]

Eye of the Beholder

by Marilyn Lee

Chapter Nine

David and Mike stood on the scaffolding, looking down

onto the construction site. "I think Jones is going to work out
just fine on the crane, Dave."

He nodded and pushed his hard-hat further down on his

head. "How are things going with you and Jill?" he asked.

"Great. She's the best thing that ever happened to me,

man. I'm going to ask her to marry me."

He turned to look at Mike. "I didn't know you were that

serious."

Mike nodded. "Oh, yeah, and I want her out of circulation."
"Do you ever ... when you two first started dating, did you

take her flowers?"

"What's this? You writing a book?" Mike asked, laughing.
"I just wondered ... I have a date tonight and I'm a little

out of practice. I'm not sure if I should take flowers."

Mike shrugged. "I guess it depends on how strong an

impression you want to make. I knew the first time I saw Jill
that I could really go for her. So I turned the big guns on her.
Flowers, candy, dancing, phone calls in the middle of the day
just to say hi. You know. The works."

"You knew the first time you saw her?"
Mike nodded. "Didn't you know when you saw Harriet?"
"No, but I knew I never wanted to date anyone else after I

met her."

"And this woman you're seeing tonight? What about her?

Who is she by the way?"

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"She's one of the owners at Carolyn's daycare."
"The one your mom's been bugging you to take out?"
He turned back to watch the crane lifting several hundred

pounds of dirt. "Yes. She seems like ... a nice lady."

"What's she like? Anything like Harriet?"
"No!" He swung around to look at Mike. "You think I'm

looking for a substitute for her? Well, I'm not. I could never
love another woman like I did her. Never."

Mike held up his hands. "Okay. Okay. It was just an

innocent question. Don't go ballistic on me, man."

He let out a long breath and laughed self-consciously.

"Sorry. I guess I'm a little uptight."

"A little, you say?"
"Okay, a lot."
"Why?"
"I like her. She's warm, attractive, funny, and she and

Carolyn are crazy about each other."

"So what's she like?"
"That's the strange part, Mike. You know I like petite

women of average height."

Mike, who at six-two, was only three inches shorter than

David, grimaced. "Never understood that about you.
Personally, I like a woman who has a little meat on her bones
and is tall enough that I don't have to bend over double to
kiss her. Makes her more huggable."

"Diana is very ... huggable."
Mike's eyes widened. "You mean she's not about five-foot

high and supermodel thin?"

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by Marilyn Lee

"She's about five nine or ten and she definitely weighs

more than a hundred pounds. She has beautiful dark skin."

"How dark?"
He shrugged. "Dark chocolate?"
Mike slapped him on the back. "A full-figured, black

woman is the only way to go, man."

He laughed. "Don't be ridiculous."
Mike shrugged, looking smug. "Ridiculous? I barely heard a

peep out of you when you went out with those other women
your mom set you up with. But you start thinking romance
when you meet a woman with pigment in her skin and meat
on her bones? You want to know about flowers."

"Size has nothing to do with it. And neither does her skin

color."

"I'm impressed. I didn't know you had such depth."

Diana studied her reflection in the full-length mirror on the

back of one of her closet doors. She wore a light blue two-
piece dress with short sleeves, a full skirt, and a matching
jacket in a slightly darker shade.

Just before she left for a date of her own, Becki had

assured Diana she would knock David's socks off. Now that
she was alone, waiting for him, she wasn't so sure.

She glanced at her bedside clock. It was six-fifty. She'd

find out what he thought in about ten minutes. She gave her
face a final pat with her powder puff, slipped her feet into a
pair of dark blue pumps, gathered her handbag, the shoe bag

Eye of the Beholder

by Marilyn Lee

that held her walking shoes, and went into the living room to
wait.

She was pacing the floor when the bell rang five minutes

later. She went over to the answer call box next to the
apartment entrance door. "Yes?"

"Diana. Hi. It's David."
She glanced down at herself. "Did you want to come up?"
"Ah, no. I'll wait down here."
She took several deep breath before slowly walking down

the two flights of steps. At the front door, she took one final
breath before opening the door.

"Hi." His gaze flicked quickly over her before he met her

gaze. "You look nice."

Just nice? Not pretty or attractive or good enough to take

his breath away? Apparently not. Nice was better than
nothing. She looked at him in her turn.

He wore a dark suit that emphasized the breadth of his

shoulders. It fit so well it might have been made especially for
him. She smiled. "You don't look so bad yourself."

For a moment, they stood staring at each other. About the

time she noticed his right hand was behind his back, he
bought it out and offered her a bouquet of white and yellow
carnations. "I hope these are all right."

"Oh." She accepted them with a big smile. She inhaled

their fragrance before speaking. "They're perfect. Thank you!"
Impulsively, she leaned up and kissed his cheek.

He caught his breath and stepped away from her.
Her face flooded with heat. "I'm sorry!"

Eye of the Beholder

by Marilyn Lee

He shook his head. "No. I'm the one who needs to

apologize." He reached behind her to close the door. "We
should go. We have reservations."

She sighed. "I think this is a mistake, David."
He looked at her in surprise. "What is?"
"This date. Me. You. You're not ready to date."
"I am."
"Well if you are, I'm clearly not your type. No matter what

I say or do, it seems to be the wrong thing. I'm not going out
with you."

"Tonight?"
"Or any other night." She turned and reached for the

doorknob. Surprise flooded through her when his big hand
came down over hers, immobilizing it. "David, please. I know
you don't really want to do take me out."

"You don't know any such thing," he said, gently turning

her to face him. "I do want to take you out."

"Why? Because Carolyn wants you to? Or because your

mother does? Don't tell me you want to take me out and
expect me to believe it."

His eyes narrowed. "That's exactly what I am telling you.

And yes I do expect you to believe it, because it's the truth."

She studied his face in the light of the street lamp. He

seemed sincere. Her heart beat quickened when he suddenly
bent his head and brushed his lips against her cheek, close
to, but not quite touching her mouth. "David..."

"Give me another chance. Please."
"No." She pushed against his shoulders.
He immediately stepped back. "Why not?"

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100

If he didn't know, what was the point of trying to explain?
He closed his eyes briefly. "Please, Diana. I know I've been

a bit of a klutz, or jerk if you prefer, but it's been a long time
since I've been out with any ... you're the only woman I've
wanted to go out with since Harriet died."

When she remained silent, he reached out and took her

hand in his. Holding her gaze with his, he brought her hand
up to his lips.

She tingled all over as he brushed his lips against the back

of her hand before planting a gentle kiss in her palm. Oh, girl,
keep it together. This man is going to hurt you if you don't.

"You've filled my thoughts since we met. You are the only

woman I've been attracted to since Harriet. Please bear with
me?"

If she had half the sense she'd been born with, she'd tell

him she had no interest or intentions of bearing with him. She
nodded instead. Oh, Diana, girl, what are you doing? He's
going to break your heart.

He pressed another kiss in her palm, linked his fingers with

hers, and led her to his SUV.

She waited until he was seated beside her and had started

the engine before she turned to look at him. "Have you talked
to Carolyn today?"

"Yes. I talked to her just before I came to pick you up."
"Did you tell her where you were going?"
He replied after a noticeable pause. "No."
"Why not?"
He didn't look at her. "She's very impulsive."
"And?"

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101

She saw his hands tighten on the steering wheel. "She'd

expect us to come back from this date married. She wouldn't
understand."

"What wouldn't she understand? That you're not ready to

get serious?"

He maneuvered his vehicle onto the on ramp of Interstate

95 before he responded. "Are you?"

She looked out the window. There wasn't much to see

except the tall abandoned factory buildings dotting the
section of the city near the on-ramp. "Yes." She practically
whispered the word.

When he didn't respond, she turned to find him staring

straight ahead, his hands clenched on the steering wheel.

"I won't hurt you," he finally said.
"I'm counting on that, David."
Without taking his eyes off the road, he reached out a

hand to squeeze hers.

She returned the pressure of his hand and felt some of the

tension leave her body.

"I wish you would tell Carolyn. She was very upset with

me today. She knew you called and thought I wouldn't let you
talk to her."

He released her hand and placed his back to the steering

wheel. "Fine. If you insist."

"I don't insist. I'm asking. I don't like her thinking she

can't trust me."

"Okay. I'll tell her."
"Good. What about some music?"
"Help yourself," he said, sounding more relaxed.

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102

She turned the radio on and the interior was filled with the

soft, muted sounds of jazz. She sighed, relaxed back against
her seat, and closed her eyes.

They made the rest of the drive in a comfortable silence.

He parked the SUV in the restaurant parking lot, and they
walked, hand in hand, into the restaurant. Diana felt as if she
were floating, she was so happy. Granted they had a long
way to go. They might not even make it, but she was satisfied
with the way things were at the moment. The interior of the
restaurant was dimly lit with high backed booths that created
a romantic atmosphere. She slipped into the booth and
looked up to find him watching her. She smiled. "This is nice."

"You like it? Good. I wasn't sure. A friend told me it was

nice here."

So he hadn't brought his wife there. They could make their

own memories. "It is." She picked up the menu. She was
tempted to order a steak with all the trimmings. That way laid
even more excess pounds. She couldn't afford to put on any
more weight if she was going to keep him interested.

She ordered soup and a tossed salad. "No dessert," she

told the waiter.

David looked at her in surprise. "That's it? Are you sure?"
She had to start sometime. Might as well be now. She

nodded firmly. "Yes, thanks."

"Suit yourself." He turned to the waiter. "I'll have French

Onion soup, followed by the New York Sirloin, well-done with
a baked potato with butter."

"There! You see," she said, pointing a finger at him. "I

knew you would do that!"

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103

"Do what?"
"Order a steak after I've just ordered broth and a salad."
"Oh. I see," he said, nodding slowly, smiling. "You want to

eat rabbit food, so I'm supposed to suffer with you. I don't
think so. I work hard and I need my strength."

It was nice to see him really smile. She propped her

elbows on the table, her chin on her hands and studied his
face. "Tell me about David Jordan."

"Okay," he answered readily enough. "What would you like

to know?"

"Everything. You see, I find him totally fascinating."
"Really? I hear he can be a real jerk sometimes."
She grinned. "Maybe so, but he's a charming one."
He laughed, but sobered quickly. "You're as kind as you

are pretty."

She blushed, but didn't look away. "As long as you think

so."

"I do," he said quietly, his blue gaze on her face.
"Now that we have that out of the way, I'm still waiting to

hear about you."

"Well, there's not that much to tell."
"Tell me what there is to tell."
He took a sip of his iced tea. "I suppose you want to know

about Harriet."

He wasn't smiling now and neither was she. "If it's not too

painful."

"We met in college and started dating right away. We

married right after graduation." He paused as the waiter
brought her broth and his onion soup.

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104

She tasted her broth, trying not to notice the heavenly

aroma coming from his soup. "What was she like?"

"To look at?"
She nodded.
"She was slender, about five-five with long honey-blond

hair and beautiful sea-green eyes like Carolyn's."

"She must have been beautiful."
"She was the most beautiful, sweetest person I ever met.

She was warm, funny, understanding, the love of my life, and
my best friend. But above all, she was a devout Christian."

Diana paused, choosing her next words carefully. "I

understand she was killed by a drunken driver."

He nodded curtly and slipped his soup in silence.
"Having Carolyn must have been a great comfort to you."
It was the right thing to say. His smile returned. "I don't

think I could have made it without her."

"She's very sweet."
"When she wants to be," he said, smiling. "You wouldn't

believe how stubborn she can be." He pushed his soup bowl
away and sat back against the booth. "That's enough about
me. Tell me why you're not married."

She wanted to know so much more about him, but she

readily followed his lead in changing the subject. "When I was
fifteen, I decided I wanted to be a Christian in the biblical
sense; doing the things God approved while avoiding those he
didn't. I still want that. I'm not married because I haven't met
a man who wants the same thing.

"Besides," she grinned at him. "I'm kind of out spoken."
His eyes twinkled with amusement. "So I've noticed."

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105

"It turns a lot of men off."
"Not this one."
"Oh, good, because I seem to be even worse with you."
They stopped talking as the waiter approached to take

away their soup bowls and replace them with their main
course.

His steak emitted a heavenly aroma. Her nose twitched.

Squaring her shoulders, she picked up her knife and fork. She
tried not to notice as David began to cut his steak.

"So, tell me about your hobbies."
"What?" She stared at his steak. It looked so good she

could almost taste it. And the potato was overflowing with
butter. Her stomach grumbled in protest.

"Your hobbies," he prodded. "Tell me about them."
"What hobbies?"
His lips twitched, and he put down his knife and fork.

"You've changed your mind about the salad? Would you like
to share this steak?"

"Do you mind?" she asked.
He'd barely shaken his head before she was reaching for

the plate. She resisted the urge to cut the steak into two
equal portions and cut off a small piece instead. Then she
eyed the potato. "Do you mind?"

He laughed, shaking his head. "You're shameless."
"I'm not," she protested, placing her baked roll on the

table cloth to make room for the piece of steak and potato.
"Well, maybe just a little. But only with you."

"I'm flattered."
"You should be!" she retorted and they both laughed.

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106

"I'll call the waiter back and you can order a steak of your

own."

She shook her head. "I don't want a steak."
"Then what's that on your saucer?"
"I'm watching my weight."
He met her gaze. "You don't need to worry about your

weight, Diana. You ... you're ... you don't need to worry
about your weight with me."

She smiled. "Thanks, but I don't want a steak."
He laughed.
They ended up sharing their meal. He cut another piece of

steak for her and she gave him half of her salad.

By the time they left the restaurant to walk, hand in hand

along the pier, Diana felt as if she'd known him all her life.
And had loved him even longer. She was so happy. So
thankful to the Lord for finally answering her prayer.

[Back to Table of Contents]

Eye of the Beholder

by Marilyn Lee

107

Chapter Ten

"You never told me what your hobbies were," David

reminded her, as they stopped along the pier to gaze across
the Delaware River to the New Jersey coast.

It was a warm night. They encountered several other

couples on the pier at Penn's Landing. Some strolled hand in
hand; others sat close with their feet hanging over the water
far below.

Diana leaned on the railing several feet above the murky

river. "I spend a lot of time involved in church activities. I'm a
member of the choir and I try to visit the sick and shut-ins as
often as I can. But I like walking, roller-skating, bowling,
cooking, and reading British mysteries."

"Roller-skating is one of Carolyn's favorite pastimes."
"I know." She turned her head to find him staring at her.

"Carolyn tells me you're an excellent skater."

"Oh, she does, does she?"
"Yes." She smiled. "You have no secrets from me."
He grinned. "I'll keep that in mind the next time I'm

tempted to tell that lovable blabber mouth anything."

"What about you? What do you like to do? What do you

read?"

"I don't get to do it much anymore, but I like playing

basketball. I also like to fish. I lift weights and jog to help
relieve tension and stress. When I have time, I like reading
science fiction."

"When do you read?"

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108

"Generally the only time I get to read is at lunch or while

I'm fishing. Do you like fishing?"

"What kind?"
"Deep sea or just going out to Cobbs Creek Park?"
"I don't know. I've never tried it."
"Would you like to?"
She arched a brow at him. "Is that an invitation, David?"
"Yes."
She smiled. "I accept, if you'll do something with me."
"Okay. Shoot."
"Come to church with me some Sunday."
She felt him stiffen beside her. She touched his arm.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing. I just don't have much use for church lately."
Diana felt as if she'd been hit squarely in the pit of her

stomach, knocking the wind out of her. He had to believe in
God. "Why not?"

He looked away from her, back out onto the darkened

horizon. "Harriet lay in a coma for two weeks fighting for her
life. I spent almost every waking hour of that time praying,
begging God to spare her life or to at least allow her to regain
consciousness long enough for me and Carolyn to tell her one
last time how much we loved her and to be able to say
goodbye."

"And?"
"She died without regaining consciousness."
She stroked a hand down his arm. "I'm so sorry for you

both, but do you blame God?"

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109

He turned to stare at her. "I didn't say that. All I'm saying

is up to that point I tried my best to be a decent, God-fearing
man, and when I needed help, I didn't get any."

"Oh, David!" She slipped her arm through his and

squeezed it against her side. "That must have been an awful
time for you, but—"

He pulled away from her. "I don't want or need to be

lectured, Diana. I get way too much of that from my mother.
I'm not saying that I don't believe in God anymore. I'm just
saying I need a little more time to ... can you understand
what I'm saying?"

"I don't know," she admitted. "I can't imagine not

depending on my faith to get me through whatever life sends
my way. It's how I coped when a drunk driver killed my
parents. So you see, I'm not lecturing you. I understand how
frustrated and angry you must feel, but—"

"What happened to the person responsible for your

parents' death? Did this person at least go to prison?"

"Yes. He got five to ten years, but my parents are still

dead, David. Just as your Harriet is."

"And I suppose you're going to tell me you don't feel any

malice toward the driver or any loss of faith as a result?"

"I did feel malice, anger, and so many more emotions

toward him. My parents were the anchor of our family. They
were only in their fifties. There were so many more years
ahead of them. I intended to pamper and shelter them when
they were older. I envisioned protecting them as they'd
always protected me. And when I got married and had kids, I
expected them to pamper and spoil them.

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110

"A large part of my future happiness was wrapped up in

my parents. Then, suddenly, they were both snatched from
my life. I had to pray long and hard not to hate the man who
took them from me."

"Didn't he deserve your hatred?"
"Hating him would have taken an emotional and spiritual

toil on me. Even if I'd allowed myself to hate him, my parents
were still going to be dead. My faith got me through those
dark days and weeks after their death."

"You faith was never shaken?"
She shook her head. "I'm not saying I've always done the

right thing because I haven't. However, I do my best and I
know that sometimes bad things happen to good people. But
that doesn't mean that God doesn't love or care about me ...
about us ... about you, David."

"How can you be so sure that's not exactly what it

means?"

She shook her head. "I decided to look upon my parents'

death as a challenge to my faith that I was determined to
meet and conquer. I threw all my anger and animosity on
God and as he's always done, he sustained me. Now my faith
is stronger than ever. I've seen first-hand how good He and
my faith can be and I know they will both sustain me no
matter what happens in life."

"I'm obviously not as forgiving as you are. Nor is my faith

as strong. I'm not so sure there's any reward for being a
dutiful Christian."

"David, if you'd only go to God and pray—"

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"I'm not interested in doing that just now," he cut her off

quickly.

"Oh ... David..."
He stared at her. "Is that going to be a problem for you?"
"I ... oh, David, I..."
He sighed. "I take it that's a yes."
His voice sounded so bleak, she slipped her arm through

his again. "Will you think about coming to church with me? I'd
like you to hear me sing in the choir. Sometimes, I do a solo.
We have a concert coming up in about six weeks. I'd love for
you to come hear us sing."

He looked down at her. "I would love to hear you sing and

I would like to go on seeing you, Diana."

"But?"
"No buts. I want to see you again. However, I do need you

to understand the current state of my ... faith."

"Is that a no? You won't come?"
"No." He shook his head. "It's not a no. I'll come. Just

don't ask me to come this week."

"Okay. What about the week after or the one after that?"
He laughed. "You don't give up, do you?"
"Not when the cause is worthwhile."
"And you think I am?"
She placed a hand against his chest and smiled up at him.

"Oh, yes, David. I do."

He lifted her hand to brush his lips against her fingers. "I

hope you never have cause to change your mind."

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"I don't think I ever will. I'm not fickle, David. I know how

I feel and what I want out of life." She bit back the urge to
say she wanted him. She had a feeling he already knew that.

He bent his head to touch his mouth against hers.
She closed her eyes.
He pressed a soft, sweet kiss against her lips.
She resisted the urge to run her fingers through his hair,

but leaned against him.

He slipped his arm around her waist and kissed her again.
She parted her lips, enjoying and welcoming the longer,

warmer kiss. When he clasped a hand on the back of her neck
and she felt his tongue touching hers, she pressed a hand
against his shoulder. "David..."

He nibbled at her mouth. "What?"
"I think we should stop."
His arm tightened against her waist. "I'm just getting

warmed up."

"I don't want you to get too warm."
He laughed, but lifted his head. "Diana—"
She moistened her lips. "Will you come to see me sing?"
"There's a good chance I wouldn't go before or after, but I

will come to see you sing."

It was a start. "I'll hold you to that."
He laughed. "I'm sure you will." He bent his head.
She sucked in a quick breath before she leaned into him

with her lips parted.

He kissed her again. He did it so quickly she barely had

time to respond before he was lifting his head. "It's getting
late. We'd better head back."

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She nodded. Standing in the moonlight trading kisses was

a recipe for disaster.

They walked back to his SUV and he held the passenger

door open for her.

When they were both inside with their seatbelts on, he

started the engine and drove away. "Do you have any
brothers or sisters, Diana?"

"No. I'm an only child."
"That must have made losing both parents in the same

accident even worse."

"It did, which is why I had to rely so heavily on my faith.

What about you, David? Do you have any siblings?"

"No."
They made the rest of the drive to her apartment in

silence. Diana spent the time in silent prayer. She had her
work cut out for her, trying to get him back on track with
God. Still, she had a feeling he would be worth any amount of
effort she expended on his behalf. And God must have
brought them together for a reason.

"I enjoyed tonight, David," she said as stood together at

her door. "Thank you for asking me out."

He caressed her cheek. "I enjoyed it too. Thank you for

coming."

The urge to lean into him and part her lips for a kiss was

difficult to resist. "You'll tell Carolyn about tonight?"

"Yes, I'll tell her." He lifted her hand to his mouth and

kissed her palm several times.

Her heart raced and she longed to have him take her in his

arms and kiss her breathless. "Well ... good night."

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He touched his lips to her fingertips. "Good night."
She moistened her lips and looked up at him. "David..."
"Yes?" He raised his gaze from her hands to look at her

mouth.

"Are you going to just stand here holding my hand and

staring at me all night or are you going to kiss me
goodnight?"

He released her hand and cupped her face in his big, warm

palms. "I am definitely going to kiss you," he breathed the
words against her mouth.

Even as she told herself she shouldn't, she parted her lips.
He brushed his lips against hers.
Her stomach muscles clenched. "David..."
He slipped his arms around her before he settled his

mouth on hers.

Unable to resist the temptation, she slipped her arms

around his neck.

He swept the tip of his tongue against her lips before he

tightened his arms around her. The kisses that followed were
longer, warmer, and filled her with improper desires.

Afraid of the emotions he was arousing, she gasped and

pushed against his shoulders.

He resisted for several moments before he finally dragged

his mouth away from her.

She pushed against his shoulders again.
He dropped his arms around her waist, but caught one of

his hands in hers.

She tugged at her hand. "I ... I ... I'd better go in."
He nodded silently, but continued to hold her hand again.

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She tugged at her hand. "David..."
He sighed and released it with obvious reluctance.
Her heart beat like a drum and she felt hot and filled with

desire. "So I'm going inside now before things get too
heated."

"They're already heated.
"David..."
He shrugged and stepped away from her. "So go."
She went.

David watched Diana go inside and waited until he heard

the locks clicking before he turned and walked back to his
SUV. Inside, he sat taking slow deep breathes for a minute
before he started the engine and drove to his mother's house.

She answered the door wearing a robe. "David! Is

something wrong, dear?"

"No. Did I wake you?"
"No. I was just sitting in the living room reading the Bible."
"I didn't mean to disturb you and I know Carolyn's

probably asleep, but I want to talk to her."

"Come in, dear, come in." She stepped away from the

door.

He walked inside.
She leaned against the closed the door and studied his

face. "So? You look ... content. How did your date with Diana
go?"

He grinned. "It went, Mom."
She smiled. "Yes?"

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He nodded. "Yes. I think..."
"Yes, dear?"
The expectant look on her face snapped his back to his

senses. He was too old to allow a few kisses, no matter how
heated, to cause him to lose his prospective. "I like her," he
said simply. It was too early to say or even think any further
than that.

She nodded, looking smug. "I thought you would, dear."
He leaned down and kissed her cheek. "Thank you."
"For what?"
"For inviting her to dinner on Sunday without telling me."
"Would you have come if I'd told you?"
"No." He shrugged. "I don't know. I might have come."
"Why?"
"I've thought about her a lot since we met. I..."
"What is it, dear. What bothers you about her? Her size?"

she probed gently.

He shook his head. "Her size is not an issue. It never really

was."

She bit her lip. "I didn't raise you in a manner that would

make her skin color important."

"And I never said it was. As a matter of fact, I find her skin

tone charming."

She sighed in relief. "So?'
He shrugged. "She's not like anyone I've ever met before.

She's amazing and I..."

"Oh, David!" She hugged him and kissed his cheek. "You're

going to see her again."

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He nodded slowly. "I suppose now I'll never hear the end

of mother knows best."

She smiled.
He glanced over his shoulder toward the staircase. "I'm

going up to see Carolyn."

"Good idea, dear."
He ran up the stairs and went down the hall to the middle

bedroom. The door was open and a night light cast a muted
glow onto the bed and the small child lying there.

He sat on the side of the bed and lifted Carolyn gently into

his arms. "Carolyn? Sweetie?"

She yawned, opened her eyes, and threw her arms around

his neck. "Daddy! I was just dreaming about you. Hoping
you'd come for me and here you are!"

"It's after ten. That's too late to get you out of bed and

take you home. I just wanted to explain who I was with
tonight."

She pulled away and stared into his eyes. "Daddy? Oh,

Daddy! Were you with ... Diana?"

He nodded. "Yes. We had dinner. I'm sorry I didn't tell you

earlier."

"I was hurt because you said we had to be straight up with

each other."

"I know and I'm sorry."
She flashed him a sunny smile. "That's okay, daddy. Did

you like her? Did you kiss her goodnight? Are you going to
take her out again? Are you—"

He laughed. "Hey, hey, hey. Not so fast with the questions.

Yes, I like her."

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"How much?"
"A lot," he admitted. "And yes I am going to take her out

again."

"Yes!" Carolyn pumped a small, clenched fist in elation.

"Yes!"

He laughed and kissed her cheek. "Now I'm going to let

you get back to sleep and I'll see you tomorrow after work."

"But Daddy! You didn't tell me if you kissed her. Did you?"
He laid her on the bed and gently tapped the tip of her

nose. "That's none of your business, Sweetcakes. One more
thing. When I called the daycare earlier, I should have asked
to speak to you. That was an oversight on my part and not
Diana's fault. Okay?"

Carolyn frowned. "She told on me? She's a blabbermouth

tattletale!"

"She didn't tell on you. And you watch your tongue, young

lady," he reprimanded her. "She was upset that you were
angry with her. She's very fond of you."

"I know that, Daddy," she said meekly.
"Good. So you're not angry with her. Right?"
"Right, Daddy." She grinned at him. "I knew you'd like

Diana, Daddy," she said happily.

"Well, you were right." He kissed her and drew the covers

back up to her neck.

"Are you going to marry Diana, Daddy?"
He suppressed a groan and chose his words carefully. "I've

only gone out with her once."

"But you already know you like her."

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"Yes, but when a man and woman get married, it's

because they love each other very much and want to spend
the rest of their lives together."

"I know that," she said indignantly. "So are you going to

marry her? Is she going to be my new Mommy?"

"Carolyn, honey, I need you to understand that it's too

early in our relationship to even think about marriage."

"Oh. Well, I'll bet you do marry her, Daddy."
"Carolyn—"
"You said you weren't taking her out and you did, so

maybe you'll marry her."

"Don't count on that, young lady," he said firmly.
"Okay, Daddy." She gave him a confident smile.
He sighed. Why had he allowed Diana to talk him into

telling Carolyn about their date? Now it would be nearly
impossible to convince her that he wasn't going to marry
Diana.

"It's time for you to get back to sleep."
"Okay, Daddy. Thank you for coming to tell me."
He kissed her. "I'll see you tomorrow night. I love you."
"I love you too, Daddy. And so does Diana."
He left the room quickly before Carolyn could ask if he

loved Diana.

At home, he undressed, got in bed, turned out the lights,

and picked up the phone. He dialed, then smiled when he
heard Diana's voice. "Hi."

"David."

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He liked the way her voice softened as she said his name.

"I know it's late and I won't keep you. I just wanted to thank
you for having dinner with me."

"It was my pleasure."
"Mine as well. I also wanted to ask if we could see you

Saturday."

"We? As in you and George Clooney?"
He laughed. "He probably has other plans. Will you settle

for me and Carolyn?"

"In a heartbeat."
"Good. I stopped by my mother's and told Carolyn about

us."

"Oh." She sounded pleased. "Is there an us, David?"
"There will be if I have anything to say about it."
"Then here's hoping you have plenty to say about it."
He laughed. "Oh, Diana. I like you."
"I like you."
"I like you a lot, Diana."
"Same here."
He sighed. "I know I'm not easy to know, but I hope you

can bear with me."

"We'll see."
"What about Saturday? Do we have a date?"
"Why don't you and Carolyn come here for dinner around

six? I'll prepare a special meal."

"What?"
"Come and find out."
"All right. We'll see you Saturday at six."

[Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Eleven

"I thought you'd be happy for me, Becki."
Diana watched as Becki looked up from the desk in the

daycare center early the next morning. She and Becki were
the only ones in the room. Diana sat in a large chair pulled up
to the other side of the desk. The first child wasn't due to
arrive for another half hour, and the staff had not yet arrived.

Becki shook her head. "Oh, come on. Don't look at me like

that. I am happy for you!"

"Oh?"
"Well. Okay. I would be happy for you if things were

different."

Diana frowned. "Different how?"
"Well, you said yourself that you couldn't change anyone

and that you couldn't date a man who didn't have a strong
faith. Doesn't that sort of leave David Jordan out of the
picture?"

"No! He has faith," Diana objected. "He just needs a little

help rechanneling."

"And you're going to give him that help?"
"Yes, I am."
"What if he doesn't respond? What if he ends up

weakening your faith?"

"That is not going to happen, Becki," she said curtly.
"Yeah? Well, you know what the scriptures say about he

who thinks he's standing being aware he doesn't fall."

"What? Where'd you hear that?"

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Becki arched a brow. "I read it in the Bible. The apostle

Paul wrote it at first Corinthians 10:12."

"I know the scripture," she said wearily.
Becki nodded knowingly. "You just didn't think I did? Well,

I've been reacquainting myself with the Bible. So brace
yourself."

"Why?"
"Now, that's a strange question coming from you, Diana."
"Oh, I didn't mean it like that," she said quickly. "I think

it's great you're reading the Bible again. I just meant are you
doing it for yourself or because it's what Paul wants you to
do?"

"At first it was just to please Paul," she admitted. "but the

more I read the Bible, the more I realize how much I don't
know. Then I realized I wanted to know more for myself."

"I'm really pleased, Becki, and I hope things work out for

you and Paul. I just wished you were pleased for me. I wish
you'd pray for me and David."

"I will. I just wish..."
"What?"
"He sounds as if he needs a lot of work. He sounds so

bitter."

"He's not, bitter, Becki."
"Oh?"
She sighed. "Not really ... but even if he were, he'd have a

right to be," she said defensively.

"He has no more right than you do and you're not bitter."
"I loved my parents more than I can say, but I knew I'd

lose them one day." She leaned forward, anxious to explain.

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"It's different for him. He expected to share the rest of his life
with his wife. He lost more than I did, but I know he's a good
man who just needs someone to help him rediscover his faith.
And I'm that someone."

Becki smiled suddenly. "Hey, I'm a believer. I think you

can accomplish just about anything you set your mind to."

"God willing," she said softly.
"And I'm thinking He is." Becki grinned. "So?"
"So what?"
"So did he kiss you?"
Diana felt her cheeks heating up. "I don't kiss and tell."
"So he did kiss you!" Becki grinned. "How was it? Did you

see stars? Hear bells? Did your toes curl? What? Details, I
need details."

Diana covered her hot cheeks with her hands. "Becki

Howard, you're worse than Carolyn! I said I'm not telling."

"No?" She shrugged. "Well, you don't have to. You were

practically floating around this morning. I think it's safe to
assume he kissed you, all right. And I'm thinking your toes
did curl, big time."

Diana made a zipping motion with her fingers. "I'll never

tell."

"You already have." Becki grinned.

Two days later, David sat in his office at the townhouse

construction site, his chair tilted back against the wall behind
him, his feet propped up on the desk.

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Mike sat in the only chair on the other side of the desk.

"Earth to Dave. Earth to Dave."

He blinked and pulled his feet off the desk and sat up in

his chair. "What?"

"You haven't heard a word I said."
"That's not true. You said something about the carpenters

going out on strike next week. And that will just about shut
down the entire job. We'll need to get as much done as
possible between now and then." He ran a hand through his
hair. "Between that and the shoddy materials the owners are
trying to get past the city inspectors, you know there's going
to be no bonus from this job."

Mike nodded. "Yeah and I was planning to use my share

for a honeymoon."

"You've proposed to Jill already?"
"We're spending the weekend at her parents place in the

Pocono Mountains. I'm going to pop the question then."

"With or without her parents?"
Mike frowned. "Definitely with. Jill's the old-fashioned

type."

"Proposing is a big step."
Mike shook his head. "Not when you're in love, and I am.

Surely you can understand that."

"What? Why do you say that?"
He shrugged. "In between staring off into space with a

goofy look on your face, you look happy. Happier than I've
seen you since Harriet was killed. This Diana of yours must be
quite a lady."

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David nodded. "Yes. She is, but we've only had one date,

Mike."

"That must have been some date. Besides, sometimes it

only take one date or even one look to know you're with
someone special."

"I didn't say—"
"Let's cut the crap, Dave. You're not interested in meeting

anyone else. Are you?"

"No, but—"
"Can you see yourself with her for the rest of your life?"
He cast a quick glance at the picture of Harriet on his desk

next to the phone. "I expected to spend my life with Harriet."

"I know. But she's dead, Dave. You and Carolyn are alive.

Diana's alive. What you're feeling for her is a good for all
three of you."

He sighed, running his hand through his hair. "I guess."
"Of course it is." Mike glanced at his watch and rose. "Time

to get back to the grind."

He nodded, waited until Mike had closed the door of the

trailer, and then reached for the phone. He punched out
Diana's number.

"Good morning, Happy Time Daycare. Becki Howard

speaking."

"Ah, hi. May I speak to Miss Stuart?"
"May I ask who's calling?"
She would ask. "David Jordan," he said reluctantly.
"Oh, David. Hello."
"Hi."

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"Hold on a second." A moment later, he heard Diana's

voice on the line. "Hi, David."

"Hi. How are you?"
"I'm fine. Even better now that you've called."
He smiled. "You're amazing."
"Hmmm. I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not," she

teased.

"It is. I find your honesty refreshing."
"Is that a good thing?"
"I think so. I've never met a woman so willing to speak so

honestly about her feelings."

"Then I'm complimented."
"Good."
"Now what can I do for you?"
"I'm calling because..."
"Yes?"
"I didn't really want anything."
"No?" she sounded pleased. "You're calling to tell me

you're thinking of me?"

"Yes," he said, admitted. "Are you a mind reader?"
"Don't I wish. Then I'd know what you were thinking and

feeling when we're together."

"I was thinking about you so I called."
"Really? How sweet."
He lowered his voice. "I can be very sweet." He was

amazed at how easy it was to flirt with her.

"Yeah? Well, I'll be the judge of that."

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"I know we're going to see you on Saturday, but I was

wondering if maybe Carolyn and I couldn't stop over to see
you tonight. We could have pizza or something."

"I'd love that, David, but it's Wednesday."
"And what? You don't eat on Wednesday?"
She laughed.
He smiled. He like the sound of her laughter and the way it

filled him with hope.

"Very cute, Mr. Jordan."
"What's the but?"
"I have choir practice tonight. Of course, you and Carolyn

are welcome to join me."

He studied the dull, beige wall of the trailer interior. "Ah, I

don't think so."

"Why not, David?"
"We've already discussed why not, Diana."
"I know, but I wish you'd reconsider."
"We have a deal. Let's stick to it for now."
"Okay. For now."
"What time will you be finished practice? Could we see you

then?"

"That won't be until around nine."
"That's too late for Carolyn on a school night."
"I'm sorry."
"So am I. I'd really like to see you before Saturday. What

about lunch?" he suggested.

"Lunch? I'd love to have lunch with you. When?"
"I can't make it today. What about tomorrow? Do you take

lunch away from the daycare?"

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"I usually don't, but I can."
"How long do you have?"
"I can get Becki to cover for me for about an hour and a

half or so."

"Do you drink?"
"Yes."
"Then how about we meet at the Tacony Street entrance of

Tacony Creek Park around twelve? I won't be dressed for any
place else. I hope you won't mind."

"No. I'll bring lunch."
"Good, but no rabbit food, please."
"For me or you?"
"For either of us," he said, laughing. "I might not be so

inclined to share all my meals with you, you know."

He heard her sigh. "Some of us have to watch our weight."
"Why?"
"David, I'm aware of your preference for small, slender

women. There's not much I can do about my height, but—"

"I thought I'd already made it clear I find you attractive

just as you are."

"Oh, David! If only you meant that."
He sat forward in his seat, frowning. "I do mean it, Diana.

I usually say exactly what I mean. How many ways do I need
to say I don't have any issue with your height, your skin tone,
your weight, or anything else about you?"

"I ... thank you."
"So please, no rabbit food."
"Okay."

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"Okay," he echoed, aware of an excitement at the thought

of seeing her in just over twenty-four hours. "I'll see you
tomorrow."

Diana paced up and down the sidewalk in front of the

Tacony Street entrance to the park. Yet another glance at her
watch revealed that it was now nearly twelve-thirty. Where
was David? If she hadn't been so eager to see him, she might
have remembered to pick up her cell phone from her desk
before she left to meet him.

She'd give him five more minutes. Then she'd have to

admit that she'd been stood up. She glanced down at the silk
warm-up suit she was wearing. Why had she let Becki talk
her into wearing it just so he could leave her standing in the
middle of the sidewalk?

It would be a cold day in August before she agreed to go

out with David Jordan again. He'd clearly had second
thoughts and didn't even have the decency to cancel their
date. She snatched up the insulated bag holding the lunch
she'd packed and started down the sidewalk.

"Diana! Wait!"
She swung around to find David running toward her from

the opposite direction. He wore jeans and a flannel shirt. He
stopped just in front of her, looking harried.

"You're late," she said coolly. "Where have you been? I

thought you weren't coming."

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"I'm sorry. There was a problem on the site I had to

handled before I left. I called the daycare, but you'd already
left so I drove over to tell you in person."

"To tell me what?"
"That I can't make lunch."
"You mean you can't stay? You have to go back?"
He nodded. "Yes."
"Now? Don't you even have time for a sandwich?"
"I'm sorry, no."
After all the changes she'd made in her schedule to

accommodate him? She made no effort to hide her
exasperation. "Fine. Go back, David."

"Hey, come on," he said. "It's not as if I want to go back. I

shouldn't even be here now, but I couldn't just leave you here
waiting for me."

"Why not?" she demanded angrily. She didn't care if she

was being reasonable or not. "You left me here for twenty
minutes already. What would another hour be between
friends?"

His eyes narrowed. "That couldn't be helped. You're not

being fair."

"And you think you are? I'm supposed to just jump every

time you call and then be understanding when you leave me
standing in the middle of the sidewalk like a fool?"

His lips tightened into a thin line. "Yes, I did expect you to

understand, but obviously that was expecting too much."

"Way too much, David."
He shook his head. "I don't have time for this, Diana."
"What? So now I'm wasting your time?"

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He narrowed his gaze. "Look. You can blow off steam later,

but right now, I have to go."

"Then go. Just don't expect me to be waiting around the

next time you feel like calling."

"If you can't understand I manage a construction site and

have to be on hand to handle problems, then maybe you
shouldn't expect me to feel like calling you again!" he retorted
and stormed away.

Tears filled her eyes. She angrily blinked them away and

spun on her heel. She walked in the opposite direction from
the one he'd taken. By the time she'd reach her car, she
hoped she'd vanquished the urge to cry.

She was several yards from the entrance where she'd left

her car when she heard running footsteps behind her. Before
she could turn, she felt a hand fall on her shoulder. "Diana..."

She pulled away and turned to face David. "What?"
"Look, Diana," he said in a low, angry voice. "You know

you're not being fair. If I didn't have to go, I wouldn't. Please
don't behave like some..." he trailed off, seemingly at a lost
for the right word.

"Like some, what, David? Like some big blimp?"
He narrowed his gaze. "You know, you'd drive a saint to

foul language."

"Since you're hardly a saint, what's your point?"
"I've never given you any reason to suggest I considered

you ... I've never given you any reason to say what you just
did."

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She swallowed hard. "Okay, maybe you didn't actually say

anything, but I saw the surprise on your face when we first
met."

He gripped her shoulders. "Whatever you think I might

have thought when we met, you have to know that I am
attracted to you now."

"I don't know any such thing." She turned away.
He caught her hand and turned her back to face him. "Yes,

you do!"

She shook her head.
"Get a grip, Diana. If I weren't attracted to you, I wouldn't

have asked you out the first time. Nor would I be here today."
He drew her close and put his arms around her.

All desire to resist vanished. She leaned against him.
He tightened his arms around her and brushed his lips

against her forehead.

Diana placed her hands on his shoulders and closed her

eyes. Finally, she was where she most wanted to be—in his
arms with his heart beating in sync with hers. She rubbed her
cheek against his shoulder.

"I would have been here on time if I could. And I'd gladly

stay if I could. Believe me."

Was it wise to believe him?
"Diana?"
She opened her eyes and lifted her head.
He bent his head, pausing with his lips a breath away from

hers.

She parted her lips.

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He pressed his mouth against hers in a warm kiss that

removed any doubts she had about his finding her attractive.

"David," she brushed her fingers against his neck.
"Diana," he whispered her name and pressed a sweet, but

gentle kiss against her mouth.

Only the fact that they were in the park kept her from

linking her arms around his neck and inviting him to kiss her
yet again. And not so gently this time.

All too quickly, he lifted his head and released her. "If I

don't go, I'm going to have to go back to being a full-time
accountant because I'll probably get fired." He stroked her
cheek. "You wouldn't like me if I had to spend all day cooped
up in some office crunching numbers."

"No?" She smiled up at him, resting her palms against his

chest. "Who says I like you now?"

His eyes twinkled. "A little birdie told me you did."
"This little birdie wouldn't happen to be named Carolyn,

would she?"

He laughed. "I don't gossip and tell."
"Oh, David! You're..."
"What?" he asked softly, staring down into her eyes.

"Warm? Funny? Handsome? Irresistible?"

"Yes."
"Yes, I'm which one?"
"All of the above," she admitted.
His eyes gleamed with satisfaction. "We'll have to discuss

how wonderful I am another time. Right now I need you to do
us both a favor, honey. Let me go."

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Honey. Hugging the endearment to her like a treasure, she

nodded. "Then go."

He studied her face. "And you're no longer angry?"
"What I am is sorry. I let my disappointment make me

unreasonable. I wanted to be with you."

He brushed his fingers against her lips. "I wanted that too.

I thought about being with you is all morning, but I really
have to get back to the site."

The look in his eyes made her catch her breath. She

smiled suddenly. "Go. I'm all right."

"I'll call you later."
"I'll be waiting."
He linked his fingers through hers and leaned down to

reward her with a quick kiss.

She smiled and watched him until he disappeared around a

bend in the park trail. Only then did she head back to her car.
She changed her mind halfway there. She still had another
forty minutes or so hour before she had to be back at the
daycare. She went back into the park to sit on one of the
benches. Thinking about David and the kisses they'd shared,
she ate a ham sandwich on wheat, an apple, and drank a
cherry soda.

She took the long way back to the daycare. A vase with

Orchids, hibiscus, and red carnations sat on her desk.

"Guess who sent them," Becki whispered.
With a thumping heart, Diana lifted the card from the

center of the flowers.

You're perfect—just the way you are. Can't wait to see you

again. David.

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She smiled. "I think he likes me after all, Becki."
Becki grinned. "I think that's a safe assumption."

[Back to Table of Contents]

Eye of the Beholder

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136

Chapter Twelve

"Daddy! Daddy! Did you hear that?"
David lowered the evening paper, sat up in his recliner,

and looked across his living room. Carolyn sat on the carpet
in front of the television. They'd finished dinner half an hour
earlier. Now they were relaxing before Carolyn had to go to
bed.

"Hear what?"
"The carnival's in town, Daddy! Starting tomorrow. Can we

go, Daddy? Can we? Please?"

"Where is it?"
"The lot behind the mall, Daddy. Can we go?"
"Sure. We'll go on Sunday afternoon."
Carolyn leapt to her feet and rushed across the room to

climb onto his lap. "Oh, no, Daddy! Let's go tomorrow night."

"Sweetie, I was planning to ask Diana out tomorrow

night."

"So? She can come with us!"
That wasn't exactly what he'd had in mind. He didn't want

to risk having Carolyn think he didn't want her along. Besides,
he really didn't care where he went or what he did, as long as
he did it with Diana. "Okay. I'll ask her."

"Oh, good!" Carolyn covered his cheek with kisses.
"But if she doesn't want to go, you and I will go on

Sunday. Okay?"

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"Oh, she'll want to go," she said confidently. "She likes

being with us. And we like being with her." She pulled back to
look up at him. "Don't we, Daddy?"

"Yes, we do."
He called Diana after Carolyn was in bed. "I'm sorry about

lunch today."

"So am I," she said, "but there will be other lunches."
"Oh, yes," he said.
"Then it's all right. Did you get the problems at work

straightened out?"

"No. It's a mess," he said and found himself telling her

about the slowdown of the carpenters that was almost certain
to lead into a full-fledged strike during the following week.

She listened quietly, asking an occasional question that let

him know she really was listening. Much like Harriet had
done.

Only she wasn't Harriet. He stopped in mid-sentence.
"Go on," she urged. "I'm listening."
"I know you are, but I don't want to bore you."
"You're not boring me, David."
"That's nice to know, but that's enough about my job. I

want to talk about you."

"Smart guy."
He laughed. "Tell me again why you've never been

married."

"I thought I was close once."
"When was this? What happened?"
"About four years ago. He was funny, nice to be with, and

we got along great. After a couple of months, he proposed."

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He felt uncomfortable at the thought of Diana in love with

another man. "And you said?"

"I said no when I found out he didn't want any kids. Not

even one. I couldn't marry a man who didn't want kids."

"Did you love him?"
"At the time I thought I did," she said quietly. "Now I know

I the difference."

"Between?"
"Infatuation and the real thing."
His heartbeat quickened and he stifled the urge to pursue

that line of questioning. He stretched out on his bed, his face
turned away from Harriet's picture on his night stand. "And
since then?"

"I've been waiting to meet someone who I could love who

would want at least two kids. I think an only child leads a
lonely existence." He heard her catch her breath. "Not that
I'm criticizing you for having only one," she said quickly.

"Harriet and I never intended for Carolyn to be an only

child. We just wanted to have a few years between kids so
each child would have a chance to enjoy being the baby of
the family."

"So you do want more children when you marry again?"
She sounded almost relieved, which somehow annoyed

him. "Did I say I was going to remarry?"

"No, but I was sort of hoping that now you might want to."
He swallowed hard. There was only one way to interpret

her remark. Things were spinning too fast.

"I'm sorry," she said when he didn't reply. "You probably

think I'm the most shameless woman you've ever met."

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While her frankness still occasionally unnerved him, he

was flattered that it only happened with him.

"What I think is that I'd like to see you as often as

possible," he said. He smiled when he heard her relieved
laughter.

"Oh, David, I do try to exercise a little decorum with you,

but..."

"Don't sweat it. I like you just the way you are."
"David." Her voice was husky. "I guess you know that I—"
"Like me too?" he asked quickly, interrupting her. He

suspected she'd been about to say she loved him and he
wasn't ready to hear such am admission for her—yet.

He heard the disappointment in her voice when she spoke

again. "Yeah. I like you too."

"Ah, it's getting late. I need to hit the sack, but Carolyn

wanted me to ask if you'd like to come to the carnival behind
the mall with us tomorrow night."

"Carolyn wanted you to ask?"
"I put that badly. She's the one who wants to go to the

carnival. But I'd hoped to ask you out to dinner."

"I haven't been to a carnival in years. I'd love to go."
"Great. Carolyn and I will pick you up around six-thirty. I

thought maybe we could stop for pizza on the way."

"Okay. Good night."
"Good night, Diana."
After he hung up, he continued lying on the bed, this time

staring at Harriet's picture. It felt strange to feel so excited
and energized by the thought of seeing a woman other than
Harriet. He hadn't expected to want another woman so much.

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It was no use thinking he wasn't ready to get serious with

Diana. He spent most of his time away from her thinking
about her and trying to figure how when he'd see her next.
When he looked down into her warm, brown gaze or held her
in his arms and kissed her, he felt whole. Complete. Happy.
But part of him knew it was indecent to feel this way so soon.
Harriet had been dead for less than two years, and already he
was longing to be with another woman.

The carnival was in full swing by the time Diana, David,

and Carolyn arrived.

"Oh, Daddy! I'm so excited. I don't know what to do first!"

Carolyn exclaimed, her eyes filled with wonder as she glanced
around at all the rides. She stood between Diana and David, a
hand in each one of theirs. She squeezed Diana's. "Isn't this
nice, Diana?"

It wasn't as nice as Diana had expected it to be. She'd

been looking forward to being with David and Carolyn, but
she'd noticed a coolness in David's manner the moment she
saw him. She smiled down at Carolyn. "It's very nice, honey."

"It's nice being with Daddy and me, isn't it?"
"Yes." She glanced up to find David watching her. She

flashed him a quick smile and looked away.

"What ride would you like to get on first, sweetie?" He

asked Carolyn.

"Can we all get on them together, Daddy?"
Diana felt his gaze on her, but she didn't look at him. "If

Diana wants too, we can."

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Carolyn tugged at her hand. "Do you want to?"
She didn't. She smiled down at Carolyn. "I think it'll be

more fun if we take turns, don't you?"

"What do you mean?" Carolyn asked, frowning.
"Well, some rides you'll get on with your dad and some

with me. Okay?"

"Don't you want to get on with me and Daddy?"
"No," she said, smiling to take the sting out of her

confession. "This way will be more fun."

"Okay. I'll go with Daddy first. Okay?"
She nodded, still not looking at David. "Okay, honey."
She and David took turns getting on rides with Carolyn,

which meant that they spent very little time in each other's
company. Which, she sensed was the way he wanted it. She
suspected his lack of warmth was a direct result of her
practically proposing to him the night before. Now he was
probably afraid to say or do anything she might misconstrue.

They'd been at the carnival for an hour when Diana saw

Becki in the company of a tall, attractive male.

"Hi, Becki!" Carolyn said happily.
"Hi Carolyn."
"Becki! This is a surprise." Diana turned to face the man

standing next to Becki. "You must be Paul Hamilton Mitchell."

He looked surprised. "Have we met?"
"Oh, no, it's just that Becki talks about you so much that I

feel like we have."

"Hey, girl, zip it up!" Becki protested.
Diana widened her eyes. "You didn't want him to know?"

She asked sweetly. "Sorry." She turned to David. "This is

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David Jordan, who already knows how frequently I think of
him."

After the two men had shaken hands, Becki looked down

at Carolyn. "Having a good time, sweetie?"

"I'm having a great time! Are you?"
"We would, if we only had someone like you to tell us

which rides are the best. I'm thinking you know the best
ones."

Carolyn nodded happily and Diana stared at Becki,

wondering what she was up to.

Becki looked at David. "I wonder if you'd mind if Paul and I

borrowed Carolyn for awhile?"

He looked down at Carolyn. "Honey, what do you think? Do

you want to go?"

"Won't you miss me if I do, Daddy?"
"Of course I will," he answered promptly. "But I have you

all the time. It's okay with me if you want to go."

"We really need to borrow you," Becki said.
Carolyn giggled and looked up at Diana. "I'm very popular,

Diana."

"Of course you are, honey."
"Okay." Carolyn pulled her hand from Diana's and offered

it to Becki. "You can borrow me for awhile."

"Oh, thanks, sweetie," she said, taking Carolyn's hand. Her

gaze encompassed both Diana and David. "Shall we meet at
the ticket booth in an hour and a half?"

David nodded.

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Diana watched the trio walk away with a feeling of

trepidation. Being left alone with David in his present mood
was the last thing she wanted.

"Which ride would you like to try next?" he asked her, his

gaze on the big Ferris Wheel off to their left.

"Actually, I don't want to get on any."
He brought his gaze back to her face. "Tired?"
"No. I just don't like carnival rides." She looked down at

her sneakers, sunk at least half an inch in mud. Fortunately
her sneaks were disposable. "Or carnivals."

He frowned. "Then why did you come?"
"Because I wanted to be with you and Carolyn," she said

slowly and sighed when he looked away from her.

Great. She'd scared him off with her honesty.
"How do you suggest we spend the next ninety minutes,

Diana?"

"You could take me home and be back here before Carolyn

knew you were gone."

"Take you home? Don't you feel well?"
"I'm fine, but I'd like to go home."
"Why?"
"Does it matter why?" she asked, hoping it would matter

to him.

He shook his head and shrugged. "No, I guess not."
"Good. Then take me home."
"Fine. I'll take you home."
"Thanks."
They walked to his SUV in silence. She'd be glad to get

away from the bright lights, the tempting aromas of hot dogs,

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burgers, funnel cake, and everything in between. But mostly
she'd be glad to get away from David and the deep freeze
surrounding him.

She glanced at his profile as he pulled out of the parking

space. She couldn't see much in the darkened interior of the
vehicle. But she could feel the distance between them. It
seemed to be increasing by the second.

She glanced out the windshield. She did a double take.

"You're going the wrong way," she said, as he passed the turn
off for the underpass that would take them back to her
apartment.

"I thought we could have a cup of coffee before I take you

home."

"Fine, but next time I'd like to be asked first."
She half expected him to suggest that there wouldn't be a

next time. She sighed softly in relief when he didn't.

"Fine," he said curtly. "Next time I'll ask first."

[Back to Table of Contents]

Eye of the Beholder

by Marilyn Lee

145

Chapter Thirteen

Diana settled into the booth across from David and wished

she hadn't come. The restaurant was small, but the dim
lighting and high-backed booths combined to create an
intimate atmosphere that only served to emphasize the lack
of intimacy between them.

He studied the menu briefly before looking up at her.

"What would you like?"

"Just a cup of coffee." She closed her menu. "Decaf."
"You're sure?"
"Yes."
"I hope so, because I'm not sharing my hamburger and

fries with you," he warned.

Her lips twitched several times before she laughed.
He laughed too.
She felt some of the tension leaving her body. "Okay, if

you're feeling stingy, maybe I'll have a small tossed salad
with low-fat French dressing."

He turned to look at the waitress. "Two hamburgers, well

done with fries. No ketchup. A cup of decaf coffee, and a
coke. Thanks."

"David! I said I wanted a salad," she protested after the

waitress walked away.

He nodded, his eyes twinkling. "I know what you said, but

I'm hungry and I'm not settling for half a burger when you
decide the salad's not enough after all." He leaned forward.
"You're angry with me."

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She sank back in her seat, shaking her head. "Not angry."
"Then what?"
She shrugged. "Confused."
He shrugged. "So am I. I've grown used to your wanting to

be with me. Now you don't. Why not?"

She shook her head. How like a man to pretend it was her

fault when he was the one who'd changed. "You're far too
conceited for words."

He pulled back, looking surprised. "I am? I'm not!"
She laughed. "I was only joking." She propped her chin on

her hands. "Do you want to be with me?"

He nodded silently.
She wasn't satisfied. She needed him to make her believe

he meant what he was saying. But if he wasn't willing to
volunteer the information, she wasn't going to drag it from
him word by word.

"So what do you think of the Sixers' chances of making the

playoffs next year?" she asked.

They talked basketball until their burgers arrived, then

they moved onto football. They were still talking about the
Eagles latest draft picks as they walked back to the SUV.

She longed for him to hold her hand as he'd done on their

first date, but he didn't. Inside the cab of the SUV, she turned
to him. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." He started the engine and slipped a Kenny G

tape in the cassette player.

She settled in her seat. Clearly he didn't want to talk.

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Ten minutes later, he pulled into the mall parking lot

behind the carnival. She turned to stare at his profile. "You
were supposed to be taking me home, David."

"I know, but it's time to pick up Carolyn. I'll take you home

as soon as we get her." He sighed, running a hand through
his hair. "Look, Diana, it doesn't have to be this way."

He sounded as if he were almost as unhappy as she was.
"The coolness between us is your doing, David."
He turned to look at her. "I need time, Diana. Just a little

more time," he said quietly and slipped out of the cab.

Viewing his response as a rebuke, she didn't wait for him

to help her out of the Blazer. She was out and walking away
from him before he got around to her side.

He easily caught up with her, brushing the back of his

hand along hers. "I know that's not wanted you wanted to
hear."

She turned to face him. "Then why say it?"
"Because I want our relationship to be honest on every

level. Is that going to be a problem?"

She shook her head silently. She was tired and just wanted

to go home. Once she'd taken a long soak, she'd decide how
she felt about David's new attitude toward her.

"Daddy! Diana!" Carolyn flung herself at them as they

arrived at the ticket booth to find the other three waiting for
them. "Did you two miss me?"

David swung her up in his arms and kissed her. "We

missed you like crazy." He glanced at Diana. "Didn't we?"

"Like crazy," she echoed, kissing Carolyn's cheek.

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"Why don't you kiss Daddy too since you're so close?"

Carolyn demanded, giggling.

"Why not?" Diana agreed and ignoring the warning look in

David's blue eyes, she pressed a lingering kiss against his
cheek, close to his lips.

"On the mouth. Kiss him on the mouth, Diana," Carolyn

urged.

"That's enough from you young lady," he told Carolyn as

he deliberately stepped away from Diana.

Just the act of kissing his cheek served to dissipate the

mounting tension between them. She laughed and turned to
look at Becki and Paul, who were watching with obvious
interest.

"Ah, well, if the show's over, Paul and I will be on our

way," Becki said, grinning. "Thanks for letting us borrow
Carolyn."

"Thank you," David said. He shifted Carolyn to his other

arm and surprised Diana by catching her hand in his free one.
"It's getting late. It's past Carolyn's bedtime."

"I'm not tired," Carolyn said, yawning.
Diana laughed. "Must be some other pretty little girl

yawning then."

Carolyn giggled and laid her head against David's shoulder.

"I am a little tired."

Carolyn was sleeping by the time David pulled up in front

of her apartment. "Don't get out," she said.

"Of course I'm getting out." He took the key out of the

ignition and came around to open her door.

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He walked her to her door, still holding her hand. "Thanks

for spending the evening with us."

She smiled up at him. "I wouldn't have been anywhere

else for a million bucks."

He glanced quickly over his shoulder, toward the SUV,

before bending his head to kiss her quickly on her lips. "I
hope we still have a date tomorrow," he whispered against
her mouth

"You're forgetting Carolyn is coming too," she said

breathlessly, resisting the urge to kiss the lips just barely
touching hers.

"Not if I can get my mother to babysit, she isn't." He

slipped an arm around her neck and pulled her close.

She leaned against him.
He kissed her again. As he kissed her, he caressed her

back and shoulders.

She trembled in his arms and returned his kisses with

equal heat.

For a moment, she enjoyed the heady sensation of

knowing how deeply she could move him, then she pulled
away from him. "David..."

He nibbled at her mouth. "What?"
She leaned away from him. "About tomorrow."
He leaned closer, running the tip of his tongue along her

mouth. "What about it?"

"I think you'd better bring Carolyn after all."
He lifted his head and stared down at her, a question in his

blue eyes. "Why? I meant it when I told you I wouldn't step
over any boundaries you lay down. Don't you trust me?"

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"Yes," she said quickly. "Yes, I trust you, but why take

chances?"

He sighed and nodded. Raising her hand to his lips, he

dropped a quick kiss in her palm. "Okay. I'll bring Carolyn.
Dream of me, honey."

"Don't count on it," she warned. She heard him laughing

as she closed and locked her front door.

"Sweetie, I need to talk to your Granny, so we're going to

head over to her house now," David told Carolyn after
finishing their Saturday morning cleaning.

"Okay, but we're not staying for dinner. We're having that

with Diana. Right?" she asked anxiously.

"Right," he said.
"Did you kiss her last night, Daddy?" Carolyn asked on the

drive.

He glanced at her in the rearview mirror. Something in her

voice told him she already knew the answer. "Yes," he said
briefly.

She giggled. "And did you like it?"
Carolyn had either awaken while he was with Diana at the

door or had never been asleep in the first place. "I've told you
all I'm going to tell you about it, Sweetcakes," he said firmly.

"I'll bet you did," she said smugly. "I couldn't see too

good. How many times did you kiss her? And did she kiss you
back?"

"Carolyn," he said in a warning voice.

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"Oh, all right," she said, not sounding in the least subdued.

"I was only asking."

"It's none of your business."
"But it is. Don't I have any say in who you kiss?"
His lips twitched. "No, you don't."
"But what if you decide to just kiss any woman and like it

and want to marry her?"

He smiled. "I don't just kiss anyone and you know it."
"Then that makes Diana special!" she said triumphantly.

"So are you going to marry her, Daddy?"

His smile vanished. "I don't want you to count on that. I

like her a lot, sweetie, but..."

"But what, Daddy? You said you were going to get married

again, so why not to Diana?"

Why not to Diana, indeed? She and Carolyn got along well.

He enjoyed being with her. And he couldn't imagine meeting
anyone else who occupied his thoughts nearly as much as she
did. She would be good for both him and Carolyn. So why not
give Carolyn what they both wanted? Which was Diana in his
life, in his arms, and in his bed.

He glanced at Carolyn in the rearview mirror. This time he

made brief eye contact with her and smiled warmly at her.

"Oh, Daddy! Thank you! Thank you!"
"Don't get ahead of yourself, Carolyn. I haven't said I'll ask

her to marry me yet. And even if I do, she might say no."

"Get real, Daddy!" Carolyn said happily. "She'll say yes.

She loves us and we love her. Right, Daddy?"

"We're fond of her," he said carefully. "And this little

conversation is just between you and me. Okay?"

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"You mean I can't even tell Diana?"
"That's exactly what I mean. I don't want you telling

anyone. Remember, I haven't said I'm going to ask her."

"You will," she said.
At his mother's house, Carolyn ran into the den to play the

video game his mother had bought her as a just-because-I-
love-you gift, while he sat in the living room with his mother.
He took a few sips of the tea she'd poured, then got up and
paced in front of the big glass-topped coffee table.

"What's wrong, dear?" she asked when he came to a stop

in front of the large bay window.

"Nothing. Everything's fine." He took a deep breath, then

blew it out. "Mom, how long was it before you knew you
wanted to marry Dad?"

"Oh. Well, dear, I knew the moment we met. He didn't

know I was the one, but I knew he was. Just as I think
Diana's known from the moment you two met that you were
the one for her. It's taken you a little longer, hasn't it?"

He continued to stare out the window. "I loved Harriet."
He heard her moving before he felt her hand on his arm,

her cheek pressed briefly against the back of his shoulder.
"And she loved you, but life goes on, dear."

"I know, but it hasn't been that long since—"
"There's no set time for mourning, David. Harriet loved

you too. She'd want you to be happy. She wouldn't want you
to let a woman who loves you slip away just because you
thought you hadn't waited long enough. She'd want you to be
happy with Diana."

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"I've only known her a few weeks. It took several months

for me to be sure enough of Harriet to know I wanted to
marry her."

"You were younger then," she pointed out. "You didn't

know what love was."

He turned to face her. "Don't misunderstand, Mom. I

haven't said I love her. I like her a lot."

She stared up into his eyes. "You're telling me you'd marry

a woman you don't love?"

"I haven't said I am marrying her."
"Oh, David, let's not play games." She placed her palms

against his chest. "Are you going to ask her to marry you?"

"I don't know."
"David!"
"I don't know," he insisted. "And your giving me that

disapproving look isn't going to change that."

"What is?" she asked gently.
He shook his head. "Things are moving too rapidly. I need

a little time and a little space."

"And what if Diana meets someone else while you're

getting your time and space?"

The thought left a sick feeling in his stomach. "You've just

finished telling me that she loves me," he countered. "She'll
wait."

"Oh, David, don't be too sure of her. She's a warm,

beautiful woman."

"That any man would be glad to know. I know," he said

wearily. "I'm very glad to know her, but I just need time."

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Diana spent Saturday cooking. For Carolyn, who was a

picky eater, she made a small tossed salad, Cream of Spinach
soup, a peanut butter and strawberry cream cheese
sandwich, and Butter Almond cookies for dessert. For herself
and David, she made a Cucumber salad, Asparagus soup,
chicken chops with sausage stuffing, and a baked medley of
string beans, corn, and new potatoes. For dessert, she made
a pineapple upside-down cake.

By the time she finished cooking, it was four o'clock and

she felt like one big knot of tension. She spent an hour in a
warm bath, relaxing before she dressed.

She chose a modest, short-sleeved, two-piece silk dress

which swirled becomingly around her calves when she moved.
She sprayed herself with her favorite scent and slipped on a
pair of heels. Studying her reflection she decided she would
do quite nicely. Hopefully, David would think so as well.

He and Carolyn arrived a little before six.
"Wow! You look real pretty!" Carolyn said, gaping at her.

"Doesn't she, Daddy?"

"Oh, yes, she does," David said softly. He held a bouquet

of pink carnations. "For you, pretty lady."

Carolyn giggled and Diana's cheeks burned as she

accepted the carnations. "Thank you. Come in and have a
seat while I put these in water." She glanced over her
shoulder. "Can I get either of you anything to drink?"

"Do you have any strawberry milk?" Carolyn asked.

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Diana groaned silently. How could she have forgotten how

much the child loved strawberry milk? "No, but I did make
you some strawberry Kool-Aid. Will that do?"

"Okay. I'll come with you," Carolyn said, slipping off the

sofa where she'd been sitting with her father.

Diana smiled at David and felt her heart beat quicken

when he smiled back, his gaze warm and lingering. "I ... I'll
be right back," she said slowly.

"I'll be waiting," he told her.
She turned away, suddenly certain that everything was

going to be all right between them.

They had a noisy, laughter-filled meal. Carolyn's happy

mood was infectious. Before long, all three of them were
laughing at the most insignificant things. Diana watched with
satisfaction as David and Carolyn devoured the food she'd
prepared with such care.

After dinner, they sat Carolyn on a stool close to the sink

and the three of them washed the dishes.

"Oh, this is so nice," Carolyn said suddenly. "I wish we

could always be together like this. Just the three of us."

Diana felt David's gaze on her. She looked up to find him

watching her. The look in his eyes made her catch her breath.
It was warm and ... dare she hope, loving? If he'd only
reconcile with God, she'd feel that her prayers had finally
been answered.

"Maybe we can be," he said.
She blinked and stared at him over Carolyn's head. For

him to make the suggestion in Carolyn's hearing indicated
how serious he was. "What ... what did ... you say...?"

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"He said maybe we can be," Carolyn piped in. "Maybe my

daddy likes you a whole lot. Maybe he wants to—"

"Maybe he wants to speak for himself, young lady," David

interrupted, dragging his gaze away from Diana to look down
at Carolyn.

"Then speak, David," she urged softly.
"Yeah, Daddy. Speak."
He lifted Carolyn off the stool and set her gently on her

feet. "I want to talk to Diana alone, sweetie. Will you wait in
the living room?"

"No, Daddy! I want to stay and hear what you have to say

and what she has to say. And if you're going to kiss her, I
want to watch."

"Wait in the living room, Sweetie," he repeated, turning his

warm gaze back to Diana's heated cheeks.

"Oh, all right, but—"
"No buts. Just go, Carolyn."
Carolyn made a face, but slowly left the kitchen.
"You wanted to talk," Diana prodded when he stared

silently at her long after Carolyn had left the room.

"When we're alone."
"We are alone."
He shook his head. "No. I mean without Carolyn listening

at the door."

"I'm not listening at the door! I'm in the hallway!"
Diana was startled into laughter at the sound of Carolyn's

indignant voice coming from the hallway. "I see what you
mean."

"Have dinner with me tomorrow?"

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"Tomorrow? I should ... that's the night I usually visit the

shut-ins."

"I'll come with you. We can talk between visits."
"I don't usually go alone."
He grinned at her. "You won't be alone. I'll be with you."
She laughed. "Actually, that's not what I meant. But I'm

sure I can rearrange things just this once."

"Then what's the problem?"
"No problem. It's just that on these visits, we usually talk

about the Lord and read a few scriptures."

He shrugged. "You say that as if you think I don't want to

hear about Him."

"Do you, David? Are you beginning to feel better about

what happened to your wife?"

He compressed his lips. "No. Nothing can make me feel

better about that, but I am feeling better about life in
general. I'm feeling more inclined to talk to and hear about
God since I met you."

"Oh, David!" She reached out and squeezed his hand.

"Maybe you won't wait for the gospel concert to come to
church with me."

He lifted her hand to his lips and pressed several warm

kisses in her palm before looking up into her eyes. "Maybe I
won't."

[Back to Table of Contents]

Eye of the Beholder

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Chapter Fourteen

David arrived with a dozen roses for their date the

following night.

"Oh, David! They're beautiful!" Diana said.
He brushed the back of his hand against her cheek. "So

are you."

The warm look in his blue gaze made her feel weak-kneed.

She clutched the roses against her breasts. "They're
beautiful," she said again. "And they're red."

He laughed and dropped a casual kiss against her cheek. "I

know what color they are. I'm the guy who brought them,
remember?"

She paused. "A man doesn't just give a woman red roses

on the spur of the moment."

"Doesn't he?"
"No. Do you know what red roses mean?"
He nodded silently, still smiling down at her.
Afraid to read too much into the roses or his response to

her question, she flashed him a quick smile. "Then I don't
need to tell you."

"No, Diana, you don't."
"Let me put these in water and then we have to go. I told

Mrs. Wilson we'd be there around seven."

"Okay," he said, linking his fingers with hers. "Let's go."
She disengaged her hand, put the roses in a vase, set the

vase on the hall table before leaving her apartment with him.

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The moment the door was locked, he reclaimed her hand.

He bent to kiss the corner of her mouth before he helped her
into his SUV.

She tingled all over and had to resist the urge to turn to

him with her lips parted and her face lifted in a shameless
appeal for a real kiss.

She was very conscious of him sitting next to her on the

fifteen minute drive to Mary Wilson's house. She glanced at
his hands resting on the wheel and imagined them cupping
her face or holding her close as he kissed her. Her desire for
such intimacy with him shamed her.

She moistened her lips and dragged turned her gaze

forward. "Turn left at the corner," she said. "Then it's the
third house on the right."

He pulled into the driveway of a small, single home and

turned to look at her. "Here we are."

She nodded.
"Is there anything I should know about her?"
"Mrs. Wilson is older and used to speaking her mind. Don't

be offended by anything she might say," she warned.

"Don't worry, Diana. I have a grandmother who delights in

shocking people by speaking her mind."

She suppressed a frown. How could he be so cool and calm

when she was so nervous? Unless his heart wasn't nearly as
engaged with her as hers was with him. Or worse, had he
decided he didn't want to follow through on his hints of the
night before? Shouldn't a man on the verge of proposing be
nervous? "I didn't know you had a grandmother, David."

He smiled. "There's a lot you don't know about me."

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"Yes," she agreed coolly. "Mainly because you won't tell

me anything."

"I'll tell you anything you want to know," he said calmly.

"Anything at all. So knock yourself out asking."

"Yeah, well, maybe I'm not so interested in knowing

anymore," she said, feeling the need to be disagreeable.

He arched a brow, smiling. "I hope that's not true."
It was clear he wasn't going to allow her to pick a fight

with him. She wasn't even sure why she was trying to. "Never
mind. Mrs. Wilson will be waiting so we'd better go in."

Just for a moment, when he helped her out of the SUV, he

stood very close to her, holding her hand while he stared
down at her.

She stared breathlessly back, until he parted his lips and

bent his head. He was going to kiss her. If he did, he'd scatter
what little wits she had left. Besides Mary Wilson was almost
certainly watching from her window.

"Don't," she said and tugged on her hand.
"Why not?"
"Mrs. Wilson is old-fashioned. I wouldn't want her to think

I stand around making out in public."

With a sigh of what she imagined was frustration, he

released her hand. "Fine." He silently followed her inside.

Mary Wilson took one look at David and patted the seat on

a big, over-stuffed teal sofa beside her. "Well isn't this nice?
You must be Diana's young man."

Diana shot David a quick look, shaking her head. "Oh, no.

He's not."

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"Oh, yes," he said, taking the proffered seat beside the

older woman. "I am."

"I knew there must be a man in the picture when she

started sparkling," Mary Wilson went on. "And such a
handsome one too. You're a perfect foil for Diana."

David arched a brow and smiled at Diana.
She compressed her lips.
"You two will make beautiful kids together."
David laughed.
Diana's cheeks burned as she thought of having his baby.

It was all downhill after that. At least for Diana. She sat with
a forced smile on her face as David and Mary Wilson
discussed her as if she weren't there.

Mary Wilson gave a satisfied nod of her gray head. "As

soon as I saw you two standing by your truck outside, I knew
you must be the reason she's been looking more beautiful
than usual."

David glanced at her again. "She is beautiful."
"She is, and I hope you realize what a good deal you're

getting with her," she told David. "Diana's a beautiful young
woman ripe for marriage."

She felt the hot blood heat her cheeks.
David smiled. "Is she?"
"Oh, yes. And she has everything a man could want in a

wife," Mary Wilson went on. "In addition to being pretty, she's
sweet-tempered, has a good sense of humor, and she can
cook. That's important. Many of these so-modern women
doesn't seem to understand a man wants a hot meal when he
gets home at night."

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"You're absolutely right, ma'am," David said, ignoring the

annoyed look Diana shot his way. "I'm obviously fortunate
that she even noticed me."

"Yes, you are, but I can see why she did," Mary Wilson

said, squinting at him through her glasses. "You're a good
looking young man."

"Thank you," he said, his eyes gleaming with amusement.
"Now how long have you two been see—"
"Ah, we didn't come here to talk about ourselves," Diana

interrupted. "We came to see what you needed. What we
could do for you?"

"Nothing, dear. I'm fine. Reverend Howard and his wife

stopped by yesterday and bought some groceries and sat with
me. Oh, we had a lovely visit."

"There must be something we can do for you," Diana said.
"You are very sweet, Diana." She turned to David. "You

know you're getting a very sweet girl in Diana."

David nodded, his gaze briefly locking with Diana's. "Yes, I

know," he said quietly. His gaze rested briefly on her lips.
"Very sweet."

Diana's heartbeat a little faster.
"Good." Mary Wilson patted David's hand. "I can see you

two are anxious to be alone, so I'll let you go."

"Oh, we're in no rush to be alone," Diana said, panicking at

the thought of being alone with David.

Mary Wilson smiled and got to her feet. "She's shy. A

pleasant thing in a girl, don't you think, David?"

"Oh, absolutely," David agreed meekly, getting to his feet.

"And you're right. We would like to be alone."

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Mary Wilson glanced at Diana's bare left hand. "Come see

me again when you two make it official, David."

"I'll do that."
"Then run along and have fun together."
Five minutes later, Diana sat staring out the windshield of

the SUV.

David got in beside her. "Where to now?" he asked,

starting the engine.

She turned to stare at his profile. "You shouldn't have told

her you were my ... that you were mine," she said in a tight
voice.

He turned to look at her. "Why not?"
"Because it isn't true, David."
For a moment he was silent before he cut the engine. "It

could be if you wanted it that way," he suggested softly.

"What I want, David, is to be taken home."
"Okay," he said, sounding disappointed. "But have coffee

with me first. I want to talk to you."

The way things were going for her, he probably wanted to

tell her he needed space. And if he did, she'd be hard pressed
not to slap him so hard he would see the proverbial stars.
"What about?"

"Come and find out," he said. "Yes? No?"
"I am not in the mood to be teased, David!" she snapped.
"So who's teasing?"
"David!"
"Hey! Come on, honey." He leaned forward to brush his

lips against her cheek, close to the corner of her mouth. "I
have no intentions of teasing you."

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She leaned away from him. "Then stop trying to kiss me

and tell me what you want to talk about. Now. Right here."

"I'd rather not."
She pushed at his shoulder and he moved back into his

seat. "And I'd rather you did."

"Fine," he said, sounding annoyed. "I wanted to set the

stage to make this romantic, but have it your way, Diana."

Her heart beat quickened. Was he about to propose?

"Make what romantic?"

"I was wondering..." He cupped her cheek in one big hand,

pressing the ball of his thumb against her bottom lip. "Hoping
... will you marry me, Diana?"

"Will I ... what?"
"I want to marry you. Do you want to marry me?"
Her eyes filled with tears. She sucked in a deep gasping

breath before she turned to throw her arms around his neck.
All the reasons why she should refuse flew out of her head
and she nodded wildly. "Yes! Yes! Oh, David, yes, I will marry
you!"

He returned her embrace and she felt his warm lips

brushing her forehead, her cheek, and finally her neck.

She trembled.
They clung to each other for several moments before he

cupped her face between his palms. "Yes?"

"Yes, David. Yes."
He slipped an arm around her waist and lifted her face.
She closed her eyes and parted her lips with the tip of her

tongue extended.

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With one arm around her waist and the other palm cupping

the back of her neck, he pressed several long, heated kisses
against her mouth. He kissed her until she was breathless.
When she tore her mouth away from his, he burned his lips
against the side of her neck.

She gasped, feeling hot and greedy for a pleasure they had

no right to share until after they were married. But her
prayers had finally been answered. She was going to be his
wife. Tears slid down her cheeks.

"Hey." He lifted his head to look down at her. "I was

hoping you'd be happy. Why are you crying?"

"I am happy."
He pressed a sweet kiss against her mouth. "Then stop

crying." He wiped her tears away with the tips of his thumbs.
"Please. I hate to see you in tears. Even happy ones."

"Oh, David!" She stroked her fingers through his hair. "I

love you! I knew I would the moment I saw you."

He smiled and kissed her nose. "Then you won't keep me

waiting long? I would really like to marry you very soon."

"Soon? How soon? Why soon?" she asked, visions of a big,

formal wedding filling her head.

"This is why," he whispered. He drew her into his arms and

kissed her.

She closed her eyes, melting into him. She returned his

kisses with a heat that matched his. Within moments, she
burned with desire and need.

He trailed a series of light kisses down the side of her

neck.

She trembled. "David..."

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His stroked his fingers down from her neck, igniting her

passions. She couldn't muster the resolve or will to stop
him—even when he cupped his hands over her breasts. She
gasped, feeling a coil of heat in her belly.

It was David who finally pulled away from her. "I ... I'm

sorry," he said, his voice raspy, his breathing uneven. "I lost
my head. Forgive me. It won't happen again."

She stared silently at him, her cheeks feverish with

embarrassment and shame at her failure to stop him. How far
would she have allowed him to go before she protested?

He slipped back into his seat. His hands shook on the

steering wheel.

She glanced out the window at the quiet street. She saw

Mary Wilson's curtain lowered. Oh, Lord, what would she
think of Diana now? "We should go, David. We're a little old
to get a citation for necking in public."

He laughed and turned to look at her. "You're probably

right. When will you marry me?"

"I can't think about anything now except how happy I am!"

She reached out to caress his right hand. "I just want to
savor this moment. Besides, I thought you needed time."

"What I need is you as my wife ASAP." He lifted her hand

to his mouth and kissed her palm. "Part of me knew I was
yours the first time we met."

"You didn't know any such thing."
"I did—deep down."
"So deep you didn't know it?" She suggested.
He laughed. "Never mind that. When will you marry me?"
"I need time to lose a little weight first. At least—"

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"No!" His hand tightened on hers until it hurt. "Not an

ounce."

She stared at him. "David.?"
"I want every beautiful, delightful, sassy, breathtaking

pound, inch, and ounce of you. There's not a single thing
about you that I would change even if I could."

She knew he meant it. "Oh, you're a darling!" Her eyes

filled with fresh tears. "My darling."

He grinned at her. "I can't think of anything I want more

than to be your darling, Diana." "Oh, David, you are!" she
whispered and kissed him with an intensity he returned so
eagerly that they were soon wrapped in each other's arms
devouring each other's lips.

As before, it was David who finally pulled away.

"Sweetheart, please! Control yourself," he said with tender
humor. "Remember, I have my reputation to consider."

"Sorry, love, but you go to my head," she told him

truthfully.

He started the SUV and drove away. "I know the feeling,

sweetheart."

[Back to Table of Contents]

Eye of the Beholder

by Marilyn Lee

168

Chapter Fifteen

Her doubts began that night as she lay in bed recalling

every moment of their evening. Why had he proposed? Just
three days earlier, he'd told her he needed time. He still wore
his wedding ring. And he hadn't offered her an engagement
ring. Who proposed without a ring?

She realized with a sudden chill that he hadn't once said

he loved her. The warmth of his kisses and the arbor of his
embrace told her that he wanted her physically. But there had
been nothing in his manner to indicate that his desire was
motivated by love. Most importantly, he hadn't yet fully
reconciled with the Lord. How could she possibly marry him
before he had?

She decided the only thing to do was to come right out and

ask him why he wanted to marry her. She also needed to
know what he intended to do to repair his relationship with
God. She got out of bed and called to invite him to dinner on
Tuesday night.

She was surprised when he arrived for dinner with Carolyn.

"Carolyn, what a nice surprise." She lifted her gaze to look at
him.

He shrugged. "She wanted to come."
Carolyn frowned. "Didn't you want me, Diana?"
"Of course I wanted you," she replied promptly.
Carolyn threw her arms around her legs and proceeded to

gush over how happy she was that her Daddy was finally
going to marry her Diana.

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There was no opportunity to talk with Carolyn there.
"We'll have dinner Thursday and talk then," he promised

as they stood at her door saying good night, while Carolyn sat
waiting in the SUV.

Diana nodded. "Okay."
He bent and kissed the corner of her mouth. "Dream of

me."

"Don't count on it," she told him, smiling.
He caressed her cheek and left.
Thursday night after dinner at the Riverfront restaurant,

they walked hand in hand along the pier. She was silent,
trying to decide the best approach to take when she asked
him why he wanted to marry her.

He stopped suddenly and touched her face. "Where are

you? Come back to me."

She leaned into him, tilting her face up so she could look

into his eyes. "David, are you sure you want to marry me?"

He slipped his arms around her waist. "I'm never been

surer of anything in my life."

"Never?" Surely he'd wanted to marry Harriet more.
"Never," he repeated. "When are you going to marry me?"
"You're rushing me," she protested, pressing her hands

against his chest to discourage him from drawing her even
closer into his embrace. "It takes time to arrange a wedding.
There are so many things to do and I don't even have a ring
yet," she reminded him.

"A wedding?"
"Yes. That's what people have when they get married," she

teased.

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"You mean as in a formal one with ushers and

bridesmaids, and an endless wait until you're my wife?" His
arms slackened. "Oh, Diana! Not that again."

She shoved against his chest.
He released her.
"That's exactly what I mean. I know you've been there and

done that, but this will be the first time for me," she reminded
him in a small, hurt voice. "If you think I'm going to be
satisfied with anything less, you're wrong!"

He sighed and ran both hands through his hair. "I was

hoping you'd want to marry me sooner than all that. That's all
I meant, sweetheart. If you want a big formal wedding, then
we'll have a big, formal wedding."

"Why?" She stared at him with tears in her eyes, willing

him to say because he loved her.

He shrugged. "It's your day. I just want to marry you."
She leaned on the railing over the river and stared into the

dark water below, afraid to ask the questions she so badly
wanted answered.

His hands came down on the railing near hers and she felt

his hard warmth against her back, imprisoning her between
the railing and his body.

She shivered as she felt his lips brushing against the side

of her neck. "What's wrong, sweetheart?"

She turned in his embrace and looked up at him. "I love

you."

He pressed a gentle, tender kiss against her mouth.
She closed her eyes on a flood of tears. He didn't love her.

Worst, he still hadn't made peace with the Lord.

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"Do you have any plans for this Saturday?" he asked,

lifting his head.

She shook her head.
"Good. Then we can go looking for your ring Saturday."
A man who loved the woman he wanted to marry would

have done that himself. "I thought you'd pick it out yourself."

"I thought it might be nice if we did it together, but if

you'd rather I did it alone, I—"

"No. Picking one out together is a great idea." She ran a

finger over his left hand and felt the ring on his third finger.
What would be nicer still was picking out one for him.

He caressed her cheek. "Is there something else bothering

you?"

Now was the time to tell him she couldn't set a date until

he'd reconciled with God, but she found that her courage had
deserted her. She shook her head. "No."

He stared down into her eyes for several long moments.

Then he kissed her cheek. "I'll do my best to be a good
husband and make you happy, Diana."

She slipped her arms around his waist and buried her face

against his shoulder. "And I'll try very hard to make you
happy."

"You only need to marry me, and I'll be happy," he told

her, returning her embrace.

That would probably be true if he loved her.
He sighed. "Now let's talk about this formal wedding you

and I are going to have."

She looked up at him. "Are you sure you want that?"
"I want you, Diana. Nothing more. Nothing less."

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He was probably stretching the truth, but as far as she was

concerned, his answer was completely satisfying.

* * * *

"Why can't I go, too?"
It was Saturday morning. David and Carolyn were in the

Blazer, heading for his mother's house, where he would be
leaving her while he and Diana went to pick out her ring.

"Because this is something that Diana and I need to do

alone."

"Are there going to be a lot of things you two are going to

want to do without me, Daddy?"

He winced at the anxiety in Carolyn's voice. He turned on

his left turn signal, guided the SUV out of traffic, turned onto
a quiet street, and turned off the engine.

He unbuckled his seat belt, got out of the front seat and

slipped into the back next to Carolyn. "Sweetie, you are the
most important person to me in the whole world."

"Even more important than Diana?"
"Yes. Even more important than her, sweetie. I love you

more than anyone else in the world. When Diana and I are
married, some things will change for you and me, but not
that."

"What kind of things, Daddy?" she asked, her voice and

eyes full of anxiety.

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"Well, for one thing, you're going to have to knock and

wait to be told it's okay before you come into my—our
bedroom."

"But Daddy, I always come into your room without

knocking."

"I know, sweetie." He stroked her hair. "but that'll have to

change."

"I don't want it to change. Maybe I don't want you to

marry her after all!"

He cupped her face in his hands and kissed her on the tip

of her nose. "You don't mean that, sweetie."

"I do because I don't want things to change between me

and you, Daddy! I want you to stay my Daddy!"

"None of the things that really matter will change. I'll

always be your daddy and love you more than anyone else in
the world. My being married to Diana will make us both
happier. There will be adjustments at first, but they'll be
worth it because we both want her to be a part of our lives.
Yes?"

"Yes ... I guess, Daddy."
"And I promise you that Diana and I will try to include you

in almost everything we do from now on."

"Why not everything, Daddy?"
"Because just like you and I like to be alone, sometimes a

husband and wife like to be alone too."

"Daddy, will you still want to be alone with me when you're

married to Diana?"

He released her seat belt, wrapped his arms around her

and, lifted her out of her seat, holding her close to his heart.

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"Yes, sweetie, I will. Most of the time the three of us will be
together. But sometimes, it'll be just you and me. Okay?"

"Okay, Daddy."
He settled her back in her seat and fastened her seat belt.

"All right now, sweetie?"

She nodded. "Yes, Daddy. I guess you can marry Diana

after all."

"Thank you, sweetie."

Diana was dismayed when David told her of Carolyn's fear

on the drive to jeweler's row in downtown Philadelphia an
hour later. "So we'll have to shower her with extra attention
for a while until she realizes how much we both love her."

He pulled into an underground parking lot and turned to

look at her. "That's not going to be a problem, is it?"

"Of course not." Although she spoke quickly, a sense of

disquiet filled her. Was Carolyn's sudden change of heart a
sign from the Lord that Diana was acting out of harmony with
His will for her? What right had she to agree to marry a man
whose faith had wavered? The scriptures clearly said
Christians should marry only in the Lord. Was David, in his
present state of spiritual distress, "in the Lord?"

He leaned over and kissed her cheek. "Thanks."
She looked at his hands resting on the steering wheel. Her

gaze locked on the gold band on his ring finger. "I brought
my credit card," she said slowly.

He arched a brow. "Why? We're not going Dutch on your

ring, Diana."

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"I know." She reached across his body to lay her hand

over his left one. "I thought we could exchange rings when
we're married, David."

His eyes widened, his lips parted, and he stared at her in

silence.

She stared back.
He pulled his hand from underneath hers. "This bothers

you?" he asked in a flat voice, touching his wedding band.

"No," she lied. "I just want to give you a ring."
"Fine." He hesitated a moment, sighed softly, then slipped

the ring off his finger. He put it in his jacket pocket. Was it
her imagination or did the smile he turn on her hold very little
warmth? "I'd be delighted to wear your ring."

"Why don't I believe you mean that, David?"
His eyes narrowed. "Probably because you don't love or

trust me nearly as much as you claim to," he retorted. "I told
you once before that I usually say exactly what I mean. That
hasn't changed. If I tell you I'd be delighted to wear your
ring, that's exactly what I mean."

Her eyes filled with tears. "Then why were you so reluctant

to take that one off?"

He looked at the tears glistening in her eyes and sighed.

"I've worn it a long time," he said, his voice softening. "It was
a gift of love from Harriet which symbolized our ... it meant a
lot to me. I cherished it even more after her death." He
stroked her cheek tenderly. "Just as I will cherish the one you
give me."

"Oh, David! I'm sorry!" she whispered.

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He gave her a brief hug. "Don't be sorry. Just love me and

be patient with me."

She didn't really have a choice. "I do love you."
He kissed her cheek. "Let's go get our rings."
They spent three hours at four different jewelry shops

before they settled on a diamond solitaire in a diamond-cut
gold setting. Diana paid for the matching wedding band for
David.

Looking up into his eyes as she tried it on his finger, she

could see nothing but warmth and promise in his smiling
gaze. She sighed happily. Maybe it was the Lord's will for
them to be man and wife. She hugged the thought to her.

When they left the jeweler's, she felt as if she were

floating. She couldn't stop staring down at the ring sparkling
on her finger. She was so happy. Surely the Lord didn't mean
to deprive her of this great joy.

"You'd better watch where you're going," David warned,

amusement in his voice as he steered her around a pole she
was about to walk into.

She stopped in the middle of the sidewalk and slipped her

arms around his waist. "Oh, David! I'm so happy."

"So I am, sweetheart, but we'd better be happy

somewhere else," he said, pressing closer to her to allow
another couple to squeeze pass them. He took her hand in
his. "Let's go eat. Then I want to be alone with you."

"Where?"
"Home. I want to show it to you."
She wasn't sure how she felt about seeing the house he'd

shared so happily with Harriet, but she was about to find out.

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"Home" for David and Carolyn was a big, two-storied

single house with a large open porch and a second floor
balcony, which she imagined lead off the master bedroom.

"What do you think? Could you live here with Carolyn and

me?"

He sounded anxious and she realized he was probably

afraid she'd insist they start their married life living in a
different house. That was her inclination.

She leaned back against him, her gaze still on the house.

"It's very nice from out here. Let's go inside."

After an inspection of the house, Diana stood in the middle

of the living room, feeling as if the wind had been knocked
out of her. It was a large room with pale blue walls, dark blue
woodwork, a beautiful pale blue ceiling fan, deep, comfortable
contemporary sofas and chairs, and no less than four pictures
of Harriet Jordan. Over the mantelpiece was a large family
portrait of David, Harriet, and Carolyn.

He couldn't be serious. There was no way she could live in

the same house he and Harriet had shared. There would be
too many memories for her to compete with. Not to mention
too many pictures of her.

There were three other pictures of Harriet Jordan

downstairs. One on each end table, and one on the wall at the
base of the wide, curving staircase.

Diana bit her lip. She felt oppressed by all the pictures of

the smiling, beautiful, slender Harriet Jordan. How could she
possibly compete with her memories?

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"We can redo the whole house from top to bottom," he told

her, as they stood together in the master bedroom. The walls
here were a light rose, the woodwork mauve. "New wallpaper,
furniture. We'll buy new furniture and redecorate everything,
except Carolyn's bedroom."

She moved across the room to look out onto the balcony.

She could see a big, overstuffed chaise lounge through the
French doors. How many times had David lay there with
Harriet in his arms telling her he loved her?

She felt a spark of jealousy and turned away, only to find

herself facing the bed. Her gaze shifted to the nightstand.
There was yet another picture of Harriet Jordan's smiling face
staring back at her. She quickly turned to face the balcony
again. How could he expect her to live with him in this house
that reeked of the love he and Harriet had shared?

"Diana?"
She felt his arms slipping around her, drawing her back

against him. He nuzzled her neck, making her tingle. "I know
it's asking a lot, but you can change it anyway you like. We
can even enlarge one of the other rooms and make it into the
master bedroom."

That wasn't going to be enough. She couldn't live with him

there.

"It's the only home Carolyn's ever known," he said, when

she remained silent. "She says she feels as if her mommy's
not totally gone when she's here."

She turned in his arms to face him. "Then how can I

change anything? David, it's not fair to expect me to live here
with you without changes."

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"I know. I know." He stroked her cheek. "I'll talk to

Carolyn and make her understand. We'll keep her room just
as it is, but the rest ... we'll redo any way you want, Diana.
Any way at all."

She had a sinking feeling Carolyn wasn't the only one who

didn't feel as if Harriet wasn't totally gone when he was in this
house. Why else would he have so many pictures of her?

Agreeing to live in this house would be a bad idea, but the

humble, pleading look in his eyes undid her. How could she
say no when she loved him so much? Wasn't part of loving
someone doing the things which pleased them, even if you
weren't necessarily pleased yourself?

She leaned up and kissed his chin. "Oh, David, don't look

like that. I ... I'll live here with you and Carolyn, but there will
definitely have to be major changes."

"Fine. Whatever you want. Thank you!" His arms tightened

around her.

Even as she lifted her lips to accept the grateful kisses he

pressed against her mouth, she wondered if she were digging
a deep hole for herself by agreeing to live there with him.

[Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Sixteen

The next three weeks were bittersweet for Diana. She

either saw or talked to David nearly every day. She went
down on her knees in heartfelt thanks to God when he and
Carolyn accompanied her to Sunday service on three
consecutive Sundays. And when he remained in the church
speaking to the pastor after the service, she knew at least
part of her prayer was in the process of being answered.
When they were together, she felt confident that everything
would be all right. But the moment he left her side, she'd
remember his house, filled with pictures of Harriet, and her
doubts returned.

It was Harriet's face he saw just before he went to sleep.

She probably haunted his dreams. Diana began to fear he
might even think of Harriet when he kissed her. How could
she marry a man who didn't love her? If only he'd tell her he
loved her! Even if it wasn't true, she longed to hear the
words.

She worried and prayed over her indecision until she felt

sick. When David asked to see her one Monday night, three
weeks after their official engagement, she told him she had
other plans and called his mother.

"Diana, dear, this is a nice surprise. How are you?"
"I. need to talk to you."
"Oh, dear, you sound upset. How can I help?"
"May I come to your home?"
"Yes, dear, of course."

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"I'll see you in twenty minutes."
Gloria Jordan met her at the door, took one look at her,

and drew Diana into her arms. All the misery and
uncertainties welled up in her for the past three weeks burst
forth and she sobbed on the older woman's shoulder.

"Oh, my dear! My dear!"
Diana felt soft, comforting hands stroking her hair and face

and struggled to get control of herself. She lifted her head
and looked at her. "I'm sorry."

"No, dear. Don't be sorry for coming to me." She gently

wiped Diana's face, took her hand, and lead her into the living
room. She sat in a high backed Queen Anne chair and Diana
sat next to her.

"What is it, dear?" Gloria asked, stroking her hair.
"I can't marry him!"
"Oh, my dear!" Gloria's hand stilled on her hair. "What's

happened?"

"He doesn't love me."
"Of course he does."
Gloria spoke with such confidence, that Diana lifted her

head and stared up at her. "Did he tell you he did?"

"No," she admitted with obvious reluctance. "But he's my

son. I know him. He wouldn't marry a woman he didn't love."

"He still loves Harriet."
"Harriet is dead, dear."
"Why don't you tell him that?" she cried wildly, jumping to

her feet. "Three weeks ago, he was still wearing the ring she
gave him. He has pictures of her all over the house he

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expects me to live in. And worse of all, he hasn't once ... not
once said he loves me!"

"Sometimes men have a hard time expressing their love—"
"I'm sure he didn't have any problem telling Harriet he

loved her. Why should I settle for less? And then there's the
question of his spirituality. No matter how much I love him, I
can't marry a man who doesn't love God."

"He does love God! He's been to service with you for the

last three weeks and he's started to read the Bible again to
Carolyn at night. He told me yesterday that he's made
arrangements to have private meetings once a week with our
pastor."

"I'm very glad that his relationship with the Lord is on the

mend, but that doesn't change things between us." She took
several deep breaths, stared down at the ring on her finger,
and then tugged it off. Fresh tears filled her eyes and she
walked over to lay it in Gloria's palm. "I know it's the
cowardly way, but I can't face him. Please, give this to him
for me."

"Oh, no, Diana! Please. Just talk to him. Tell him how you

feel."

"I've tried, but I can't. Whenever I try talking to him, he

starts kissing me and by the time he stops, I'm ready to
agree to anything he says. Please. I know it's not right, and
it's not fair to you, but I can't face him. Please give this to
him for me."

"All right, I'll tell him."
"Thank you. I ... I'm sorry for all the trouble I caused."

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Gloria shook her head. "You haven't caused any trouble,

dear. I can understand how you feel. I just wish you'd talk to
him before you make up your mind."

"It's already made up. If he loved me, he had plenty of

chances to say so, but he never has."

"Why else would he marry you?"
Thoughts of the passion in his lips and hands as they

caressed and kissed her, made Diana blush with shame. "He
wants me and he knows that marriage is the only way he can
have me. But that has nothing to do with love. I need him to
love me. I'm sorry. I have to go," she whispered and hurried
out of the house.

David stared down at the ring his mother had placed in his

palm with a feeling of numbness. The moment she'd called,
after eight, to tell him she was driving over to talk to him,
he'd known she had bad news. But not this bad.

"Why do you want to marry Diana, David?"
Anger slowly replaced the numbness. "What difference

does it makes? She's clearly already decided why she thinks I
did."

"It makes a difference to me, David. I told her that you

loved her. I told her you wouldn't have asked her to marry
you if you didn't."

He turned away and went to stare out the window onto the

lawn. "And she didn't believe you."

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"She wanted to hear it from you. That's not asking too

much, David. I heard you tell Harriet you loved her on
countless occasions."

"So?"
"So why couldn't you tell Diana the same thing?"
He swung around to face his mother. "Why couldn't she

trust me? I took off my wedding band for her. I removed
Harriet's pictures everywhere except Carolyn's room. I told
her she could change the house anyway she liked! Why
wasn't that enough for her? What does she want from me?"

"She wants to know that you love her, David! She needs to

hear you say it. I know you love her. Why won't you tell her?"

"Why should I tell her anything?" he demanded angrily.
"Because you'll lose her if you don't."
He clenched his hand on Diana's ring until he felt the

diamond biting into his palm. "Maybe that wouldn't be such a
loss after all. I don't need a wife who doesn't trust me."

She shook her head. "You don't mean that, David. I know

you don't."

He backed away when she moved to touch him. "Mom, if

you don't mind, I want to be alone."

"I do mind. You're upset. You need—"
"What I need is to be alone to think."
"And pray, David. Don't you think it's past time you had a

heart to heart with God?"

"Please, Mom. Let me walk you to your car."
She hesitated before she finally nodded. Outside, he

opened her car door and she slipped in. Her driver side

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window slid down. "You know where I am if you need me or
want to talk."

"I know. Thanks for everything, Mom." He leaned in and

kissed her cheek.

He waited until her car disappeared down the street before

going back in the house.

He was surprised to find Carolyn standing on the stairs,

clutching her stuffed Big Bird, staring down at him. "Daddy, I
thought I heard Granny. Is something wrong?"

Carolyn would be devastated when she learned he and

Diana weren't going to be married after all.

Slipping the ring in his pants pocket, he scooped her up in

his arms and carried her back upstairs. "Nothing's wrong,
sweetie. Now back to bed with you."

She stared up into his face as he tucked her in. "Daddy,

are you sure nothing's wrong? You look ... funny."

He wouldn't tell her about Diana until he absolutely had to.

He kissed her cheek and stood up. "I'm fine, sweetie. Go back
to sleep."

Back in his bedroom, he undressed, tossed his clothes over

a chair and slipped into bed. How could this be happening to
him? How could he be losing another woman he loved? He
turned his head toward the night stand and stared at the
empty space where Harriet's picture had sat for the last
eighteen months. He'd removed it only a week ago, hoping to
get one of Diana to replace it.

A ball of misery welled up in his chest. Why hadn't she

come to him herself? When he thought of all the outrageous

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things she'd said in the past, he could find no excuse for her
behavior. She should have told him how she felt.

He could call her and explain or beg her to understand his

failure to tell her he loved her. He could beg her to take her
ring back and promise to marry him after all. But she
wouldn't unless he said those three little words that stuck in
his throat. How could he expect her to understand that he
hadn't said them because it hadn't felt right saying them to a
woman other than Harriet?

The words I love You rolled so easily off her tongue. How

could he expect her to understand his inability to say them
even though he felt them? How could he convince her he'd
loved her for weeks?

He lay on the bed, feeling overwhelmed with grief and

sorrow. "Oh, Lord, please help me!" he prayed. Then, without
conscious thought, he slipped out of bed, got down on his
knees, and prayed.

He prayed until his knees felt numb and words no longer

came. Then he continued kneeling before God, letting all the
hurt, anger, and pain that had built up in him since Harriet's
death flow out.

When it was done, he sprawled out on the floor, too

drained and weary to climb back into bed. He felt strangely
vitalized. He still didn't know what he was going to do about
Diana, but just for that night, he wasn't going to worry about
it anymore. He didn't need to. He'd thrown it all on God.

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"I know it's unfair and it's short notice, but I have to have

a few days off," Diana told Becki the next morning as they
had their morning tea.

She didn't look away as Becki studied her face. She was

pretty certain it was obvious she'd been crying most of the
night, and she knew Becki had noticed that she no longer
wore David's ring. "Do you want to talk about it, Di?"

She shook her head. "I know it's cowardly, but I can't face

Carolyn just yet. I don't know what to say to her. She'll
probably hate me."

"Don't worry. We'll manage. And don't worry about

Carolyn, either. Let that idiotic father of hers explain how he
screwed up."

"Becki! He's not an idiot!" she protested.
"Any man who's too stupid to tell the women he loves that

he does love her is a big-time idiot!"

"Did it ever occur to you that he doesn't love me?"
"No, that didn't occur to me."
"Why not?"
"I saw the way he looked at you when we were all at the

carnival."

"Some people would call that passion."
"Well, they'd be wrong," Becki insisted. "I know love when

I see it shining in an idiot's eyes."

"Becki!"
Becki slammed her cup down so hard her saucer rattled.

"For two cents, I'd call him and give him a—"

"No! Just give me a few days to pull myself together."

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Becki nodded, squeezed her shoulder, and let herself out

of the apartment.

"You are the biggest nut this side of the milky way!"
David narrowed his gaze and glared across his trailer office

at Mike. "Thanks for the support!"

"I'm going to give it to you straight. You're a fool. Harriet

is dead. You're alive. You and Carolyn have a right to have a
woman in your life that you both love." Mike frowned.
"Speaking of Carolyn, how's she taking this?"

"Better than I thought. My mother talked to her before I

could. I don't know what she told her, but Carolyn seems to
think that things are going to work out. She said she'd prayed
for me and Diana."

Mike nodded. "Never saw a man who needed it more.

What is so hard about telling her you love her? You just open
your mouth and say the words and your world's right side up
again."

He shook his head. "It won't be that easy. Maybe it would

have been if I'd done that as soon as I found out how she
felt, but now she's going to want me groveling at her feet."

Mike shrugged. "So? She wants groveling, give her

groveling. Unless you think she's not worth it."

"She's worth it," he said and suddenly knew that she was.
"Then what are you waiting for? Get out of here and go tell

her. I'll hold down the fort while you're gone."

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David sprang to his feet and bolted for the door. He drove

over to his mother's house straight from the site to ask her to
keep Carolyn for the weekend.

"I'd be delighted to. Oh, David, I was beginning to think

you were going to let her slip through your fingers and she's
just so exactly what both you and Carolyn need," she sobbed
into his shoulder.

"I know, Mom. I know. I'm going to do my best to make

up with Diana, but she might not be interested in me
anymore," he said in a bleak voice.

"Nonsense, dear. She'll be delighted to see you." She

wiped at her tears and looked anxiously into his face.
"Provided you're prepared to tell her what she needs to hear."

He nodded quickly and she smiled and hugged him. "Good.

Now go tell Diana you love her."

Armed with a dozen roses, he drove to Diana's apartment.

As he waited for her to answer the door, he felt warm and
happy at the prospect of seeing her again. He came crashing
back down to earth when a man came to the door. "Yeah?"

He stared at the tall, dark man facing him. "Ah ... I was

looking for Diana."

"She's in the shower."
She was in the shower while this man was in her

apartment? Who was he anyway? Less than a week ago she'd
been engaged to him, now she was showering with strange
men in her apartment?

A surge of jealousy sliced through him. How could she?

"Thanks." His stomach churned until it was tied into knots of
agony as he hurried across the sidewalk, intent on getting

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away from there. He had the SUV's door open when the man
caught up with him. "Hold on a second."

He turned to glare at the man and shook his head. "We

don't have anything to say to each other."

"You're too right, but Di will probably kill me if I don't tell

you I'm Hank Stuart."

He was so relieved he actually had to lean back against the

SUV and closed his eyes briefly. "Her...?"

He shot a cool look David's way. "Her cousin. Who did you

think I was? Her boyfriend?"

Shame that he had thought that of Diana kept him silent.
"You must be the guy she's been breaking her heart over."
David sighed. "I'm here hoping to make that up to her."
"Hurt her again and you'll have to answer to me," Hank

Stuart promised in a low, no-nonsense voice.

David nodded too relieved to be annoyed. "Understood."
He gave David another long, cool look. "You'd better come

upstairs. I don't know why, but I think she might actually
want to see you."

[Back to Table of Contents]

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Chapter Seventeen

David's heart beat like an out of control jack hammer as

he followed Hank Stuart up the two flights of stairs. Once
inside the apartment, Hank picked up his jacket and headed
for the door.

He turned to face David. "The next time I see Diana, I

hope she won't have tears in her eyes. Unless they're happy
ones."

When he was alone in the living room, David paced back

and forth in front of the window, practicing what he would say
to Diana. But when she finally came into the living room half
an hour later, he stared silently at her.

"David!" For a moment her beautiful gaze lit up and she

smiled, then she fled back into the bedroom. He heard the
door slam with a sinking heart.

He waited for fifteen minutes before he realized she had no

intentions of returning to the living room. He walked down the
hall and tapped on the only closed door, which he decided
must be her bedroom.

"Diana, I need to talk to you."
"Please go away, David."
"I can't. Not until we talk. I'm sorry I hurt you, honey.

Please come out and talk to me."

"Why should I?"
He pressed his face against the door panel. "Because I

need you more than I can say. Please, Diana. Come out so we
can talk."

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There was a long pause, then he heard the doorknob

turning. Moments later she opened the door. Her brown eyes
were wide and filled with tears.

"How did you get in here? Where's Hank?"
"He left after he let me in. He said you'd probably want to

see me."

"Well, just maybe he was wrong."
"I hope not, because I want to see you." His hands shook

as he gave her the flowers. "I know I should have called, but
I was afraid you'd tell me not to come. And I had to come."

"Why?"
It was the moment of truth. Their relationship would either

flourish or end on what he said next. "Because I love you."

Her mouth fell open and she stared up at him. "What?

What did you say?"

He caressed her cheek. "I love you. I love you. I love you,

I love you, and I love you."

Tears spilled down her cheeks. She clutched the roses

against her chest. "You ... do?"

"Yes, I do. And I'm so sorry that I didn't tell you sooner.

It's just that I felt guilty for falling in love with you so soon
after Harriet's death."

She pulled away from his caressing hand and leaned back

against the bedroom door. "What's changed?"

"Nothing. I just realized that Harriet loved me as much as

I loved her. If I had died, I would have wanted her to go on
with her life. I know she would have wanted me to fall in love
again. I have. With you.

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"Please marry me. I will love you as much or more than I

loved her and I will never, ever give you cause to doubt my
love again."

Tears flowed freely down Diana's cheeks now. She opened

her arms. "I need a hug. Would you please hold me?"

"Oh, yes!" Tossing the roses into the bedroom, he wrapped

his arms around her. He hugged her tight, burying his face
against her neck. "Forgive me for hurting you. I'm so sorry."

For a while she was content to just cry in his arms, but

when he put a hand under her chin to lift her face, she
welcomed the sweet pressure of his lips on hers. She
responded warmly, parting her lips under his. He kissed her
breathless.

Feeling her desire heating up, she pulled out of his arms.

"Is it getting hot in here or it just me?"

He laughed, caressing her cheek. "It's absolutely not just

you."

She sighed. "David, are you sure?"
"About wanting to marry you?"
"About loving me?"
"I'm very sure, Diana. You might like to know that I've

removed all the pictures of Harriet from the house and put
them in a scrapbook for Carolyn. The only picture left is the
one in Carolyn's bedroom."

She watched with anxious eyes as he reached in his pant

pocket. Her heart pounded wildly when he held the ring out to
her. "Will you marry me?"

This was surely God's will for her. She nodded. "Yes! I

will."

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He slipped the ring on her finger.
She laughed and threw her arms around his neck. "Oh,

David, I love you so much!"

"I love you too, darling."
The look she saw in his eyes was sufficient to remove all

her doubts. "Suppose you show me how much you love me?"

He accepted her invitation, drawing her into his arms.
She slid her palms up his chest to link her arms around his

neck.

His mouth descended on hers. He kissed her with a

passion and fervor that left her feeling weak and longing for
more.

With her senses overwhelmed, she lost track of everything

except the passion he ignited in her. She made no effort to
slow things down between them until she felt his fingers
moving against her bodice buttons.

She pushed her hands against his shoulders. "No, David."
He sighed and released her. "Sorry."
"It's all right, but there are limits to how far we can go

before we're married."

"I know."
"And you're all right with that?"
"No, but I doubt if that's going to change your

boundaries."

"You're right. It's not."
He shrugged. "No harm in trying."
"Nice try." She took his hand and led him back into the

living room where they sat together on the love seat.

"How is Carolyn? Is she very angry with me?"

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He caressed her cheek. "No. Mom told her to pray for us

instead of getting angry or worrying."

"And that worked?"
"Yes, because Mom told her we loved each other, and we

would get back together before long, and she believed it. She
has missed seeing you, though."

She turned her head and kissed his fingers. "I've missed

her, too."

"Is Carolyn the only one you missed?"
"No. Of course not." She sighed. "I'm sorry I was such a

coward about everything, David. I should have told you how I
felt."

"I should have made it unnecessary for you to feel that

way." He kissed her cheek. "I'll do my best to make sure it
doesn't happen again."

She smiled. "Yeah. You see that it doesn't." She felt his

chest shake with laughter and turned to look at him. "What's
so amusing, buster?"

He shook his head. "Just thinking what an idiot I've been. I

should have known I didn't stand a chance the moment I saw
you."

"As I remember, you weren't very impressed the moment

you saw me."

"You are so wrong, sweetheart. I told myself I wasn't

impressed, but you're a beautiful woman. I couldn't stop
thinking about you. I kept telling myself you weren't my type,
but deep down inside, I knew you were. My heart knew from
the moment you started flirting with me that it was yours for

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the taking. It just took the rest of me awhile to face the
truth."

"Which is?"
"That I love you to complete and utter distraction."
She smiled and turned back in his arms, snuggling against

his chest. "God is good," she said softly.

His arms tightened. "Yes," he echoed. "He is. He sent you

to me just when I needed you most to heal my heart and help
me regain my faith."

She twisted around in his arms to look at him again. "Your

faith, David? Then you've reconciled with God?"

He nodded. "Yes. And I know I don't have to tell you how

it feels. The last eighteen months have been the worst in my
life. Mostly because I didn't rely on the Lord's love and ability
to heal all the hurts and pains in life like I should have. I
made it worse than it needed to be for me and Carolyn. God
sent you to us to make it better."

He sighed. "It took falling in love with you to make me

realize how good the Lord is. I lost Harriet and I never
thought I'd be happy again. But I am with you. Carolyn and I
both love you."

She leaned up and kissed his cheek. "And I love you both.

Oh, David! I can't tell you how happy it makes me to hear
you talk about God with love."

"I'm happy, you're happy. But you can make me happier

than I am now," he told her.

"Y'all just name the way and I'm right on it," she teased.

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"By setting a date for this big, formal, but hopefully not-

too-far-in-the-future wedding of ours. When will you marry
me, my darling?"

"I've had time to think David, and if you're really set

against it, we don't have to have a formal wedding. We could
get married quietly as soon as possible. We—"

"No. I want our wedding day to be everything you want

and expect it to be. It might kill me, but I'll wait."

She lifted his ringless left hand and kissed the third finger.

"I haven't been entirely fair."

"Yes, you have."
"No. I really haven't. I've been thinking that I wouldn't

mind if you wore the ring Harriet gave you on your right
hand."

He sat back against the love seat and turned her all the

way around to face him. She saw the look of surprise on his
face. "Diana?"

"No. I mean it. I know it meant a lot to you because she

gave it to you. You shouldn't have to keep it hidden away."
She took a deep breath. "And we can put some of her
pictures back. She was Carolyn's mother and the love of your
life."

"Yes, she was. Now you are."
"I know," she said with satisfaction. "And I don't need to

be jealous of the woman who gave you and Carolyn
everything you needed. You both have a right to your happy
memories of her without worrying that I'll be jealous. I just
hope that with the Lord's help, I can do as well for you as she

Eye of the Beholder

by Marilyn Lee

198

did. We'll make our own memories to add to the other happy
ones you two already have."

He shook his head, an amazed look on his face. "You are

an incredible woman."

She grinned up at him. "I'm glad you finally realize that."
"I do and I love you, Diana Stuart."
"Of course you do," she said, filled with an incredible sense

of contentment. "And just in case you should forget in the
future, I'll be sure to remind you to tell me on a regular basis.
Say for breakfast, lunch, and dinner." She shrugged. "Maybe
at snack time, too."

He laughed, and cupping her face in his hands, he kissed

her. It was a sweet, tender kiss that held all the promise of
love and happiness she'd ever wanted or expected out of life.

Then they knelt on the floor together and said a prayer of

thanksgiving for all God in his goodness had provided.

The End

[Back to Table of Contents]

Eye of the Beholder

by Marilyn Lee

199

Meet Marilyn Lee

Plus you can visit her website to find out more about her

and her coming soon books as well:

www.marilynlee.org

To subscribe to Marilyn Lee's Love Bytes,

marilynlee-subscribe@yahoogroups.com

After her bio you will see her books listed that she has out.

Many of her books are both in ebook and print formats.

Marilyn lives, works, and writes on the East Coast of The

US. In additional to thoroughly enjoying writing erotic
romances in various genres, she enjoys roller-skating,
spending time with her large, extended family, and rooting for
all her favorite hometown sports teams.

Her other interests include collecting Doc Savage pulp

novels from the thirties and forties and collecting Marvel
comics from the seventies and eighties (particularly Thor and
The Avengers.) Her favorite TV shows are forensic shows,
westerns (Gun smoke and Have Gun, Will Travel are
particular favorites), and mysteries (Charlie Chan movies in
particular).

Her all time favorite mystery movie is probably Dead,

Again. She's seen nearly every vampire movie or television
show ever made (Forever Knight and Count Yorga, Vampires
are favorites. She thoroughly enjoys interacting with readers
either through email or via her Yahoo web group.

Eye of the Beholder

by Marilyn Lee

200

Red Rose™ Publishing
Summer Storm-ebook and print available
Skin Deep-ebook and print available
Night Heat—ebook available and coming soon to print
Eye of the Beholder—ebook available and coming soon to

Ellora's s Cave
Bloodlust series:
Bloodlust 5-Midnight Shadows
Conquering Mikhel Dumont
Taming Serge Dumont
Forbidden Desires
Nocturnal Heat
All In The Family
The Talisman
Teacher's Pet
Night of Desires
Trina's Afternoon Delight
Branded
Moonlight Desire
Moonlight Whispers
Road To Rapture
The Fall of Troy
Full Bodied Charmer
Breathless In Black
Playing With Fire
White Christmas
Pleasure Quest
Quest III—Return to Volter

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by Marilyn Lee

201

Liquid Silver Books
Yesterday Day's Secret Sins
Changeling Press
Moonlight Healing
Soul Mates
Moonlight Madness Books I & II
Daughters of Takira Series:
One Night in Vegas
Kyla's Awakening
Revelations
Daughters of Takira—complete series
Loose id
Falling For Sharde
Nice Girls Do
Dream Lover
The Dare
Fantasy Knights
By Genre
I/R themes or couples
Teacher's Pet
Moonlight Healing
Night of Desire
Soul Mates
Summer Storm
Bloodlust 5-Midnight Shadows
Trina's Afternoon Delight
Taming Serge Dumont
Forbidden Desires
Nocturnal Heat

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by Marilyn Lee

202

All In The Family
The Talisman
Moonlight Desire
Moonlight Whispers
Playing With Fire
White Christmas
Pleasure Quest
Quest III—Return to Volter
Primal Lusts
Moonlight Madness Books I & II
Revelations
A Thing Called Love (also available in paperback)
Falling For Sharde
White Christmas
Where You Find It (written as Mary Lynn)
BBW heroines
Teacher's Pet
Trina's Afternoon Delight
Nice Girls Do
The Fall of Troy
Full Bodied Charmer
Playing With Fire
Falling For Sharde
Bloodlust—Nocturnal Heat
Contemporary settings
Teacher's Pet
Night of Desire
Soul Mates
Trina's Afternoon Delight

Eye of the Beholder

by Marilyn Lee

203

The Fall of Troy
Full Bodied Charmer
Playing With Fire
Falling For Sharde
White Christmas
Romantic suspense themes
Yesterday's Secret Sins
A Thing Called Love
Paranormal themes
Moonlight Healing
Soul Mates
Fantasy Knights
Bloodlust 5-Midnight Shadows
Conquering Mikhel Dumont
Taming Serge Dumont
Forbidden Desires
Nocturnal Heat
All In The Family
The Talisman
Moonlight Desire
Moonlight Whispers
Road To Rapture
Pleasure Quest
Quest III—Return to Volter
Branded
Primal Lusts
Moonlight Madness Books I & II
Daughters of Takira Series:
One Night in Vegas

Eye of the Beholder

by Marilyn Lee

204

Kyla's Awakening
Revelations
Daughters of Takira—complete series

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