Married This Year 4 Ticket To Tracey Pedersen

MarriedThisYear

TraceyPedersen

MarriedThisYear

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AllRightsReserved.Nopartofthisbookmaybereproducedortransmittedinanyform
or by any means, mechanical or electronic, including photocopying, scanning or
recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system without permission in
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Reviewersarepermittedtoquotebriefpassagesforthepurposeofreviewingonly.

Married This Year is a work of fiction. Names, characters, organizations, places, events
and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously.
Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locations is purely
coincidental. The author acknowledges the trademarked status and trademark owners of
various products referenced in this work of fiction, which have been used without
permission.Thepublication/useofthesetrademarksisnotauthorizedby,associatedwith,
orsponsoredbythetrademarkowners.

Dedication

Thisbookisdedicatedtomyreaders.Withoutthem,there’snoreasontowriteandnofun
emailsandFacebookmessagestoanswer!

TableofContents

Dedication

NewYear’sEve

January

February

March

April

May

June

July

August

September

October

November

December

Acknowledgment

WhereCanYouFindMe?

NewYear’sEve

IF YOU’RE READING THIS TEXT, SOMETHING HAS GONE WRONG

WITH THE PREORDER ON THE SITE WHERE YOU PURCHASED THIS
BOOK. PLEASE DO NOT RETURN THE BOOK – PLEASE EMAIL ME AT

tracey@daringonlineadventures.com

with a screenshot of your Amazon order for

Married This Year 4: Ticket To Ride and I’ll email you the correct book file. My
sincereapologiesforthis–occasionallyitdoeshappeninthepublishingprocessthat
thewrongfileissentouttoreadersandI’vestartedaddingthismessagesoreaders
won’t be disadvantaged if they accidently get the wrong one! I hope this helps you
haveabetterexperienceandgivesyouaquickandeasywaytogettheproblemfixed,
shouldithappentoyou.

TraceyP

“So,thismightseemforward,”JordanParker’sdateshoutedtobeheardoverthemusic

assheleanedcloser,“butI’minterestedtoknowifyoumasturbate.”

“What?” she shouted back, sure she’d misheard. No one would ask that question

fourteenminutesintoafirstdateonNewYear’sEve,wouldthey?

“Masturbating,”heshoutedagain.“Doyoudoit?Wouldyouletmewatch?”

Fromthecornerofhereye,shesawthebartenderjerkhisheadupandglareattheman

infrontofher.

So,Ididn’timaginethat.

“Ithinkyoumighthavethewrongideaaboutme.”

“It’snothingtobeembarrassedabout.”Hegrinnedatherandtookaswigofhisbeeras

aglassofwinemagicallyappearedatherelbow.Sheglancedupatthebartender,noting
thesympathyetchedonhisfeatures.

“This one’s on me. You’re in for a long night,” he’d raised his voice, but turned his

headsoonlyshecouldhearhim.Shesighedandtookalongsipfromtheglass.

HowthehelldoIgetridofthisguy?

Asifshe’dsummonedthemjustbywishing,herthreebestfriendstumbledthroughthe

dooratexactlythatmoment.Theywereajumbleoflonglegs,glossyhair,perfume,and
laughterastheydescendedonherandsurroundedhercompanion.

“Who’sthis?”Shellyasked.

Jordan slipped off her seat before she answered. “No one. I was about to go.” She

turnedtohimbeforeleaving,“Sorry,thisisn’tgoingtoworkout.”Withoutwaitingfora
reply,shegrabbedShelly’shandandledthegrouptotheothersideofthebarwherethey
slippedintoanemptybooth.Itwasonlynineo’clock—stillhoursuntilmidnightandthe
endofthisdisastrousyear.

“Whydidn’tyouintroduceus?”Emilyasked.

“Youdidnotwanttobeintroducedtothatpig,trustmeMissPennington!I’mnoteven

goingtotellyouwhy—it’stooawful.”Jordanglancedaroundtheroom,whichwasslowly
fillingup.“IfonlyI’dorganisedadecentdatefortonight.”

“Pfft…youdon’tneedadate.”Andreareachedoutandsqueezedherhand,“Youhave

us.We’regoingtohaveagreatnight,andfuckanymanwhotriestostandinourway.”
Thefourofthemlaughedatherchoiceofwords;Andreawasalwaysmixingupsentences,
sosometimesyoucouldn’teventellifsheknewwhatshemeant.

ShefinishedherwineandAndreawenttothebartobuythemallanotherround.Justas

she returned and took her spot next to Jordan, Boyd Ramsay appeared at their table
lookingpleasedwithhimself.“Niceone,Boyd.Youmanagedtoavoidbuyingaround,as
usual.”Jordancouldn’thelpbutbaithim.Itwasarunningjoketheysharedeverytimehe
wasbraveenoughtojointheirgroupoffriendsfordrinks.

“OhJordan,don’tpickonhimsoearlyinthenight.”Shellyheldoutherarms.“Come

here,yousexythang,”sheshoutedashewrappedhisarmsaroundherwaistandburiedhis
faceinherhair.

“Eww…getaroom,youtwo,”Andreayelledastheyalllaughedandjeeredatthetwo

lovebirdswhowerenowkissingatthetable.ShellyandBoydhadbeentogetherforten
monthsandthingsappearedtobeheatingup.

“Youladiesaremakingshortworkofthosedrinkstonight,”heindicatedtheirglasses

andJordanwasshockedtoseeshe’dalmostemptiedhers.

That’sthreeglassesofwinesinceIarrived.HowlonghaveIbeenhere,now?

“In honour of it being New Year’s Eve, along with my urge to shock the crap out of

Jordanonemoretimethisyear,howaboutaroundonme?”Thefourwomencheeredas
hewavedhiswalletintheair.Shellykissedhimhardonthelipsandhedraggedhimself
awaytoheadforthebar.

“OhmyGod,he’ssosexy.Lookatthatass.”Shellysaid,loudenoughforthewhole

bartohear.Boydturnedaroundandblewherakissandsheblushedadeeppinkatbeing
caught.

“Yeah, yeah, we know you’re in love. I guess we won’t have the pleasure of your

companyallnight,nowthatloverboyhasarrived?”Andreasaidasshedownedthelastof
herdrinkandslammedtheemptyglassonthetable.“Luckilythebastardisbuyingusa
drink!”

Boyd returned carrying a tray with multi-coloured cocktails, and Jordan felt her

stomachflip-flop.

Uhoh.Thiswillnotendwell.

“Cheers!”thefourwomenshoutedastheyclinkedglassesandtooktheirfirstsipsof

fruitjuicelacedwithalcohol.AsShellyputherglassonthetable,Boydcapturedherhand
andpulledhertoherfeet.

“There’ssomethingIneedtoaskyou.”

“What’sthat?Doyouneedtoborrowmoneyagain?”

Herolledhiseyesandsqueezedherhand.“No,Idonotneedtoborrowmoney,Shelly.

Shutupandlistentome.”HeglancedatthethreewomensittingintheboothandJordan
had a sudden premonition of what was coming next. “We’ve been together all year, and
I’veenjoyedeverysecondI’vespentwithyou.”

“Except for that time you threw up for three days after I cooked those sausages,”

Shellylaughed,stillunawareofthemomentshewasruining.

Hesighedoutanexasperatedsoundandpulledherfacetohiswhenshemuggedforthe

girls.“Wouldyoulistentome?I’mtryingtobeserious.”Shequietedandgavehimher
full attention. “Now, as I was saying, I love being around you. I love your friends,” he
wavedhisarmstowardthebooth,“andIevenloveyourcat.So,ShellyCross,wouldyou
domethehonourofbecomingmywife?”

“Areyoufuckingkiddingme?”JordanwhisperedunderherbreathasBoyddroppedto

hiskneesinfrontofherfriend.

Shesawhislipsmoveashehelduparingthatsparkledintheflashingstrobelights.

Some of his words were lost in the beat of the music, but Shelly’s squeal was not. Her
smilewasthebiggestJordanhadeverseenasshenoddedandlaunchedherselfatBoyd.
Their excitement was obvious, and she pulled away and let him place the ring on her
finger.Assoonasitwason,Shellyturned,searchingforJordan’seyesinthebooth.She
heldupherhandandmouthed,“OhmyGod,”ashernewfiancésweptherintohisarms.
Jordangrinnedandgaveherthethumbsupasherfriendwasliftedintotheairandspun
around.

Thegirlsgiggledandchattered,andsoonEmilyandAndreaweredeepinconversation

about when the wedding might be and who Shelly would choose to be her bridesmaids.
Jordan sat back and listened to them as they named their perfect wedding venues. She
checked the time on her phone and watched Shelly dancing with Boyd on the crowded
dancefloor.

Theylooksohappy.Iwanttobehappylikethat.

She opened her Facebook page and watched as her feed filled with everyone stating

theirresolutionsforthenextyearorlamentingabouttheonestheydidn’tkeeplastyear.
Her old school friend, Bonnie Brown, even posted links to a goal-setting app she was
usingtogetherlifeontrackoverthenextyear.

Maybethat’swhatIneed:anappandaplan.

She clicked on the link and read the short blurb in the iTunes store. The app was

designedtohelpyouachieveonebiggoalduringtheyear.Itsplityourgoalupintotwelve
equalmonthlybites,andthenpromptedyoutorecordyourprogressatregularintervals.
Shepressedthe“Get”buttonandwatchedastheappdownloaded.Acutepinkbuttonwith
abig,blackcheckmarkappearedonherscreenandbeggedhertotryit.

Thefirstscreenpromptedhertoenterhergoal.Shetappedherfingerassheconsidered

what she wanted to be doing this time next year. She glanced at Shelly admiring her
engagementringandsuddenlyhermindwasmadeup.IfShellycouldmeetsomeoneand
getengagedintenmonths,surelyJordancoulddosomethingsimilar.

Here’s my resolution, then. Three hundred and sixty-five days from now, I want to be

married—nomatterwhat.

Shewrotethewordsintothespaceandsaved.“GetMarriedThisYear”appearedatthe

topofthescreeninbig,boldletters,andtheapppromptedhertoenterthestepsshewould
follow to achieve her goal. Sighing, she closed it and slipped her phone into her bag.
There’dbeplentyoftimetoworkoutthedetailstomorrow.

EmilyandAndreawerestillheadtohead,talkingweddings,andJordanlookedaround

forafamiliarface.Maybeitwastimeshefoundsomeonetodancewith.Beforeshecould
slipoutofthebooth,however,thenewlyengagedcoupleappearedbesidetheirtable.

“We’regoingtomakearunforit,”Shellysaid,herfaceapictureofapology.“Sorryto

ditch you guys, but, well, you know.” She gave Jordan a hug and then moved on to the
other two friends. “I know, I know,” she said, when they reminded her that it was poor
formtoditchyourfriendsonNewYear’sEve.

AsBoyddraggedShellytowardthedoor,sheturnedtoherthreefriendsandscreamed

inaloud,drunkvoice,“You’reallmybridesmaids!”Theylaughedandraisedtheirglasses
toherasshedisappearedthroughthedoorway.

“I need some water. Do you guys want some?” Jordan stood on shaky legs and both

EmilyandAndrealeapeduptosteadyher.

“We’llcomewithyou.Look,there’sthreeseatsatthebarwhereyouweresittingwith

MrAwfulearlier.”

“Don’tremindme,”Jordansaid.“Hewasthedatefromhell,andonlyfifteenminutes

hadpassed.”

Theyperchedonthestoolsandorderedwineandwater.Oncetheyweresettled,Jordan

put her head on the bar and Emily and Andrea rubbed her back. The bartender watched
withasympatheticsmileassheslowlysatupandputherheadinherhands.

“It’salright,Jordan.She’snotmovingawayoranything,”Emilysaid.

“Yeah.We’llstillbethefourgirlsmostlikelytoenduptogether,”Andreasmiled.

“Idon’twantustoenduptogether,”shesmiledatthemboth,“nooffence.I’mthrilled

forher.IloveBoydtopieces,andIcan’twaittogototheirwedding.”Sheliftedherhead
tolookatherfriends,“It’sjustthatIthoughtI’dbeclosetogettingmarriedbynowand
I’mnoteveninarelationship.I’mtwenty-eight—beforeIknowit,I’llbethirtyandthen

forty.OhGod,whatifI’mnotmarriedbythetimeI’mforty?”Sheturnedstrickeneyeson
them.“Whatwillmymothersay?”

Bothwomenlaughedasherthoughtsranawaywithher.Theypattedhershoulderand

signalledthebartendertobringthemanotherroundofdrinks,whichheplacedinfrontof
them. Jordan lifted hers to eye level and examined the green liquid. She knew more
alcohol wasn’t the answer to her problems. Now that she’d mixed her drinks all night,
therewasnotellingwhattomorrow’shangoverwouldbring.Shetookasipandplonked
theglassdownonthebar.

“I’vedecidedIwanttobemarriedbythistimenextyear.Ievendownloadedanappto

help me reach my goal. A decent boyfriend would be a great start, though. Is that too
muchtoask?”

“Well,”Emilybegan,“whatexactlyconstitutesadecentboyfriendforyou?”

“Whatdoyoumean?”

“I mean, let’s make a list. If you could conjure him up right now, what would your

perfectmanbelike?”Emilycalledthebartenderoverandwhisperedinhisear,andthen
shepulledacocktailnapkintowardher.Thebartenderdugunderthebarandreappeared
with a pen. “Okay, here we go. We’re going to work out what you’re looking for in Mr
Right,soyou’llknowwhenyoufindhim.What’sthemostimportantthinghehastohave
tomakehimperfectforourbestfriend,JordanParker?”Emilytappedthepenonthebar
andwaited.

“Heneedsabig—”

“Don’tyouevensayit,Andrea!”Emilysaidwithalaugh.

Andreascowledatherandrolledhereyes.“Iwasgoingtosay,ifyou’dletmefinish,

thathehastohaveabighouse.”Shegrinnedatthemboth,surethattheydidn’tseepast
herlies.

“No,hedoesn’tneedtoownhisownhouse.Idon’townahouse,sowhyshouldhe?”

“Well,whatifyourperfectmanisfortyfive?Surelyheshouldownahousebythen?”

“Hmm…I’mnotsosureIneedhimtoownproperty.Itseemsalittleshallowtoonly

want someone with money.” Jordan frowned as she considered the plain, white napkin.
“Howaboutacar?That’sdefinitelyonmylistofrequirements.”Emilywroteitdownat
thetopofthelistasJordancontinuedthinkingoutloud.“Notanuglycar,though.Noold
panelvansorasquarecar,likeaFordEscort.”ShelaughedasEmilyaddedthenotetothe
list.“MyGod,thisissopathetic.”

“No!No,it’snot.”Andrealeanedforwardtoreassureher.“Thisisabrilliantidea.If

you’regoingtogetmarriedandyou’veputatimelimitonit,you’llneedtohaveawayto
weed out the unsuitable ones fast. Keep writing, Emily.” She nudged Jordan, who was
nowdrainingherglass.“Whatelse?”

“Okay,we’regettingseriousnow,arewe?Heneedstohaveajob.Iwanthimtohavea

great sense of humour, too.” The girls nodded their agreement as Emily jotted down the

notesinaneatcolumn.“Hehastowantkidsandbeinterestedintravel.”Sheclosedher
eyesasshethoughtofhermother’srefusaltogooverseaswithherfatherovertheyears.“I
don’twanttobetakingholidaysonmyown.”

“Alright,that’sagoodlist.Anythingelse?”Emilyhadthepenpoisedtoaddthenext

scintillatingdetailsofJordan’sperfectman.

“Umm…whatelse?Canhebetallerthanme,please?”

“It’s your list, baby,” Andrea reminded her. “He can be anything you want. He can

evenhaveabig…house.”Shegiggledasherfriendsglaredatheragain.

“I also want him to treat me right. Maybe we should redo the list and put that at the

top.It’smoreimportantthanalltherest.”Shesighedashereyesranoverthewords.

Istherereallysomeoneoutthereformewhoencompassesalltheitemsonmylist?

Andreawavedtothebartenderandhedeliveredanotherroundofdrinks.Jordaneyed

thedarkliquidswirlinginhernewglass.She’dlostcountofhowmuchshe’dhadbynow.

LuckyI’mnotdrivinghome!

Thebartenderwasleaningforward,readingthelist.Hetappedthespaceatthebottom.

“Youneedtoaddsomethingtomakethisguystandoutfromalltherest.”

“Whatdoyoumean?”Emilyfrownedathim,daringhimtodisstheperfectlygoodlist

they’dcreated.

“I mean, this list could describe half the men in this bar. Hey, it describes me.” He

grinnedandraisedhishandsatthemastheirmouthsfellopen.“Don’tworry;I’mtaken,
ladies. It’s a great example, though. I fit every single one of those criteria, and you
wouldn’tnecessarilywanttotakemehometoMummy,wouldyou?”

“Ha!You’dbetheoneregrettingitifItookyouhometomymother.That’ssomething

I’ll be saving for the very end, when I know my future husband is too in love to try to
escape.” Jordan shuddered as she thought of her high school formal date, who’d had to
endurethirtyminutesofchatterwhilesittingontheirfrontcouchbeforehermotherwould
let them leave. It might have been ten years ago, but it made her cringe like it was
yesterday.“Doyouhaveanysuggestionsforthelist?”

“Nope.Ithinkyouneedoneitemthatstandsout.Justmytwocents.”

Hemovedtotheendofthebartoservethenextcustomer,andthegirlsputtheirheads

togetheranddiscussedwhatotherqualitiestheperfectmanmightpossess.Theyannounce
the worst traits they’d experienced in a partner and tried to think of the opposite. Every
awfulrelationship,however,boileddowntothesamefewcategories.Differentinterests,
nottreatingthemright,havingnoambition,orbeingphysicallyincompatible.

Jordan was stumped and more than a little drunk. “What time is it?” she used her

loudestvoice,sincethemusicseemedtohaveincreasedinvolumeinthelastfewminutes.

Emily checked her phone. “It’s a few minutes after eleven—still another hour until

NewYear’s.Maybeweshoulddance.Youknow,getyouaheadstartonyourresolutionto

hookup.”ShegrinnedasJordanwobbledonherstool.

“I’mnotsureI’mcapableofdancingrightnow.Whydon’tyoutwogoandI’llwatch

yourbags?”

“No way, we’re not leaving you here. I’ll get us another drink and then we have to

workouthowyou’regoingtofindthisperfectman.”

“Oh,that’seasy.I’llusemyapp.”Shepulledoutherphoneandplaceditonthebaras

yetmoredrinksappearedinfrontofthem.“Here,weneedtomakealistofsteps—kindof
likerules.Suggestions?”

Emilywasthefirsttospeak.“Ithinkyouhavetopromiseyourselfthatyou’lllookat

alloptions.Nomatterhowunsuitableyouthinksomeoneis,iftheymeettherequirements
onthelist,youhavetogoonadatewiththem.”

“Thatsoundsfair.HowmuchworsecoulditbethanwhatI’vealreadyendured?”She

laughed as she typed in the first rule. “Next? Don’t talk too fast, either—I’m having
troubletyping.”

“Myturn,”Andreasaid.“Youneedtomakesureyougoonaminimumoftwodecent

dates each month. If no one who meets the list appears, you have to date someone
unsuitable, to help keep your hand in the game. Once you get out of practice, it’ll be
harder.”

“Thatsoundslikecrap!Idon’twanttodateanyonewhodoesn’tfitthelist.IfIgoon

twodatesamonth,that’llbetwenty-fourdatesintheyear.Ihaven’tbeenontwenty-four
datesinthelastfouryears!”

“Bad luck. Write it down. That’s why we’re making these rules, so you mix up your

lifealittle.Youcanalwaysdeleteittomorrowwhenwe’reallabitmoreclear-headed.”
Andrea spun her stool so she could see the dance floor. Her favourite song was now
poundingfromthespeakersandsheglancedupattheDJbooth,afrownsettlingonher
prettyfeatures.“Canyouseeanyoneinthebooth?Who’sevenplayingthemusictonight?
Whoeverchosethissetismyeternalhero.”

“I have no idea.” Emily didn’t even turn to look. She’d long ago sworn off getting

involved with any musicians or DJs. “You have to make a list of places to find a date,
Jordan.Writeallofthesein:Tinder,eHarmony,and

match.com

.Whatothersarethere?”

“Hangon,hangon,you’regoingtoofast.”Jordantappedonherscreenandscowledat

thewordsthatappeared.

“Download the apps, too, while we’re here. You can set them up tomorrow and get

startedonyoursearch.”Emilyalwayswasthesensibleone,andsheseemedtobeholding
herdrinksalotbetterthanJordanwastonight.

“Okay,downloadingTindernow.Isthatreallyadatingsite?Ifeellikeit’sahook-up

place.”

“Itis,butwhosaysyoucan’tfindtrueloveafterahook-up?”Andrealaughedatthe

shockedlookonJordan’sface.“Oh,calmdown.I’llshowyouhowtouseittomorrow.”

Her attention was again drawn to the dance floor. “They couldn’t be playing recorded
music,couldthey?Ican’tseeanyoneupthere.”

Jordanshieldedhereyesfromthelight,“Ican’tseeanyone,either.”Hereyesfollowed

a shadow who moved around the edge of the dance floor not dancing, and suddenly he
wasbathedinthestrobelighthangingfromtheceiling.“Oh,thereheis.That’stheDJ.”
ShepointedsoAndreacouldseewhereshewaslooking.

“Oh, he’s cute. Too bad we missed our chance to capture him out here. They never

leavethebooth,youknow,sinceallthegirlsaretryingtogetwiththem.”

“Well, I’m not trying to get with him, but I do know what the extra item on the list

shouldbe.”Jordanswivelledonherstool,grinnedatherfriends,andtriedhardnottoslur
her words. “After the bottom I just admired, my perfect man has to look fantastic in
jeans!”

***

Jordan rolled over and pulled the pillow over her head. Her mouth tasted like she’d

eatenabagofkittylitter—andnotthefreshstufffromthebox.Sheneededtogotothe
toilet, but she lay still for a moment, deciding whether she also needed to be sick. The
brightsunlightstreamingintotheroomhurthereyesandmadeherheadthrob.

Whydidn’tIthinktoclosethecurtainsbeforeIwenttobed?

Makingthedecisiontogotothetoiletfirst,shetriedtoslideherbodytowardtheedge

ofthebed.Herlimbsweren’tcooperating,though,whichwasalwaysabadsign.

Shegroanedandslidsidewaysagain.Herlegtouchedsomethingwarmandhairyinthe

bed,andshecursedthedamndogwhorefusedtosleepinhisbedinthelaundryunlessshe
lockedhimin.

Coming home drunk means not doing anything you should before bed. I hope I took

himouttopee,orI’llhaveanextramesstocleanup.

ShepushedRexwithherfoot,hopingtowakehimupenoughtomakehimjumpoff

thebedandclearherwaytothebathroom.Shenudgedhimagainandhegaveamuffled
groan,denyinghertheclearaccessshecraved.Losingpatience,sheshovedhimwithher
foot;thatalwaysgothimoutofherbed.

Notthistime,though.Hisbodybarelymovedandsherippedthepillowoffherhead

with an exasperated sigh. When she flicked it to the side, she heard a new sound right
besideher.Itwasn’tthesoundofadog,butthesoundofsoft,humansnoring.Sheturned
totakeinthesleepingformofastrangerbesideher,andblinked.Whowashe?

Oh, God. Did I sleep with someone last night? What a stupid question. The proof is

snoringrighttherebesideyou.

Sheleanedupononeelbow,tryingtomoveslowlysoshewouldn’twakehim.Aquick

glancedownthebedconfirmedthatRexhadneverbeenlyingnearherfeet.Thewarmth
had been this man. There was zero recognition; she didn’t think she’d ever seen him
beforeinherlife.Thingsweregoingtogetawkwardoncehewokeup.

MaybeIcansneakoutandhe’llbegonewhenIcomeback?

Sneak out of her own house? Leave a stranger loose here to help himself to her

possessions? No, that was a very bad idea—worse than the decision she’d made to take
thismanhomelastnight.

Hewasn’tunattractive;fromwhatshecouldseeofhimlyingfaceupwithhismouth

open,hewascute.Achiselledchinandacoupleofdaysofstubblegracedhisface.Hehad
high cheekbones and a recent, fashionable haircut. If he were to sit up and reveal clear,
blueeyes,hecouldbeoneofthemostattractivemenshe’deverseen.Whywasheinher
bed, though? What had possessed him to go home with an obviously inebriated Jordan
Parker?

Hemusthavebeendrunk,too.

Ofcourse!Thatwastheonlyexplanationshecouldconjureinherachingheadasshe

slippedouthersideofthebedandmadeforthebathroom.Shetookcareofbusinessand
waspleasedthat,despiteherpoundingtemples,shedidn’tneedtothrowup.Shebrushed
her teeth, washed her face, and tidied her hair. Once she looked semi-presentable, she
creptbacktoherroomtoweighheroptions.

While she’d been gone, the sheet had moved lower on his body; a smooth, muscled

chest now confronted her. His six-pack peeked at her as her eyes wandered downward,
andshesuddenlyrealisedshedidn’tknowifhewaswearingpants.Ifthesheethadcrept
downanothercoupleofinches,she’dhavehadheranswer.

Shemovedtohersideofthebedwithoutmakingasound,andhereyeswidenedasshe

saw the contents of her small evening bag spread across the dresser. Her phone, some
coins, and her credit cards were spread everywhere. On top of them was a crumbled
napkinwithwritingalloverit.Fascinated,shepickeditupandsmootheditout.

It was a list with a heading of Jordan’s Perfect Man. Memories of last night came

floodingbackassherememberedShelly’sengagementandEmilyandAndreahelpingher
make this list while joking about the New Year’s resolution she’d made. Her head
throbbed harder as she remembered making the list. Glancing at the hot man in her bed
madehersmiletoherself;herlistdidn’tsayonethingabouthowherperfectman’sface
shouldlook.Thatmadeherfeeltheslightestbitbetterabouthershallownewplantofind
ahusband.

Shesatontheedgeofthebedandlookedagainatherunfamiliarcompanion.Hewas

moreattractivethanshe’dthought.Maybethatwasbecauseshe’dbeenstaringathimfor
tenminutes,now.

Is he the one? Did I luck into meeting the man of my dreams when I’d decided he

wouldnevershowuponhisown?

Asshewatchedhim,herhandreachedouttowakehim,butshesnatcheditbackashe

stirredandrolledtowardher.Sheheldherbreathashegotcloserandthenrelaxedashe
continuedsnoring.Sheshouldprobablylethimsleep,gogetsomebreakfast,andlethim
comeoutwhenhewasready.Maybehewasawakeandpretendingtosnoreasheworked
outhowtoescapethroughawindow.Assheinchedaway,heopenedhiseyesandblinked
ather.Shefroze.

“Hey,”hesaid,examiningherface.“Whoareyou?”Shelaughedandtriedtohidehow

awkward she felt. This was her first one night stand, if indeed they’d had sex, and he
didn’tevenrememberher!

“I’mJordan.Whoareyou?”

“I’mFish.”

“Fish?” She laughed out loud and then put her hand over her mouth to smother her

giggle.“Whatkindofanameisthat?”

“It’smyDJname.Youknow,likeastagename.Youdon’tthinkTheFreshPrinceis

WillSmith’srealname,doyou?”

She frowned at him. He must know how dumb that statement sounded. “Umm…

anyway,howdidyougethere?”

“Ihavenoidea.Isthisyourhouse?”

“Itis.Moreimportant,thisismybed.”Shewatchedashisfacialfeaturesrearranged

themselvesfromshocktorecognition.

“Soitis.Wemusthavebeenprettyhammered,sincewecan’tremember,eh?”Hesat

up and rubbed his hand over his face before looking more closely at her. “You can’t
remember,either,canyou?I’mnotabouttogettheawardforassholeoftheyearbybeing
theonlyonewhohadtoomuchtodrink?”

Shelaughedatthelookofhorroronhisface,andalthoughshewastemptedtomake

himsweatforawhile,shetookpityonhimstraightaway.“I’mafraidIdon’tremembera
thing. I had a lot to drink—I drank whatever I was handed, which I never do. So, don’t
feelbad.”Shestoodupandgotherlargerhandbagfromthecloset.Shegatheredheritems
from the dresser and dumped them into it before turning to him. “I’m going to make
coffee.Wouldyoulikesome?”

He groaned, “Yes, please. My head is pounding.” He clutched his forehead and the

sheetslippedlower.

Jordan fled the room before it could slide right off and confirm exactly what they’d

donelastnight.

***

Halfanhourlater,theysatatthekitchentablewithcoffeemugsclutchedbetweentheir

fingers. It was almost lunchtime, and Jordan’s phone pinged every so often—a sign that
the girls were out of bed and eager to catch up. On New Year’s Day, they had a long-
standing tradition of a late lunch at their favourite café. Soon, she’d need to answer and
confirmthatshewascoming.

Shecouldn’tdothat,however,untilsheworkedoutwhatwasgoingonwithFish.He

hadn’trunfromthehousethefirstchancehe’dgotten,buthewasn’tmakinganyromantic
overtures,either.Shehadnoideawhyhewasstillinhercosyapartment.

“I haven’t seen you at the club before.” All of his conversation revolved around the

nightclubandhiswork.

“Igothereeveryweek.You’renottheregularDJ,areyou?”

“No, I started about ten days ago. I have the Sunday and Monday night shifts as a

trial.”

Jordan resisted a new urge to push him out the door as fast as she could. He didn’t

seem too bright, and she suddenly knew this relationship had already run its course. He
sippedhiscoffeeandappearedtobewaitingonareplyfromher.

“What?”sheasked.

“I’mstillwonderingwhyIhaven’tseenyoubefore.You’repretty,andIusuallynotice

theprettygirls.”

“Youalreadyansweredyourownquestion.”

Helookedconfused.“What?”

A sigh escaped her lips. He wasn’t the one, and he had to go. She stood up and

removedtheemptycupheclutchedinhishand.“Youneedtoleavenow,Fish.It’sbeen
fun,butIhavealunchdate.”

“Oh,okay.Canyougivemealifttotheclub?Mycaristhere.”Hisbrowcreased,as

helookedconfusedagain.“Atleast,Ithinkit’sthere.God,Ihopewedidn’tdrivehere.”

“Metoo.Don’tworry,I’msurewetookacaborgotalift.Wewereobviouslyblotto.”

Shesmiledathimandindicatedheshouldreturntothebedroom.

Hiseyeslitupandshequicklyshookherhead.“No,Fish.Youneedtogetdressed—

you’reonlywearingyourundies.”

“Oh,right.Sorry,givemeaminute.”Herushedofftofindhisclothesandshesighed

to herself. He was such a beautiful specimen of manhood, but there was zero chance of
long-term potential. When he finally reappeared and his six-foot tall body filled the
doorway,shewasremindedofsomehazyadvicefromthebartender:justbecauseaman
hadeverythingonherlistdidn’tmeanshe’dwanttobestuckwithhimforever.

She locked her apartment door and turned to see him looking confused as he gazed

downthestairs.“Youliveaboveacoffeeshop?”Shenoddedandmovedtowardthestairs
ashestartedtodescend.“Whydidn’twegodownandgetgoodcoffee,then?”

Shegroundherteethandshowedhimtohercar,andtheymadeawkwardsmalltalkas

shedrovetotheclub.Withawaveofhishand,heslidofftheseatandbangedthedoor
behindhim.Shethenheadedtothecaféwhereherfriendswerenodoubtwaitingforthe
postmortem.Toobadshecouldhardlyrememberathingafterthey’dfilledinhergoal-
settingapp.

***

“Give me the list we wrote last night,” Andrea held out her hand as Jordan looked

aroundtherestaurant.

“Idon’thaveit.”

“Bullshit.Giveittome.You’renotgettingoutofthisresolutionontheveryfirstday.”

Shewiggledherfingersasshepatientlywaited.Jordansighedandpickedupherhandbag.
Shedugarounduntilshefoundthecrumbledpieceofpaper,andsheplaceditinAndrea’s
palm before she could change her mind. “Thanks. Now, what awesome things did we
writedown?”

“Youcan’trememberwhatwedid,either?Youalwaysseemtocomeupbetterthanthe

restofusthedayafter.”

“Iremembermostofit…justnotthefinerdetails.”AndreagrinnedatEmily,whosat

withherdarkglassesfirmlycoveringhereyes.“AtleastI’mnotassickasEm.”

“I’mneverdrinkingcocktailsagain.Strictlywineformefromnowon.”Emilygroaned

as giant plates of eggs and bacon were placed in front of Jordan and Andrea. “How can
youpossiblystomachthat—andwherethehellisShelly?”

“We’re starving, and Shelly is on her way.” Jordan chewed a small piece of bacon.

“Shepromisednottoditchustoday.”

“Yeah,well,thatwasbeforeshebecamethefutureMrsBoydRamsay.Ibetshestays

inbedallday.”

“Maybeshegotanearliernightthanus—theyleftwellbeforemidnight.Oh,see,here

she is.” Andrea waved her hand in the direction of the door. “Nice of you to join us,
slowpoke!”

“Enough of that. I had to drop Boyd back to get his car. He wanted to come for

breakfast, but I ditched him just for you girls.” She plonked down in the seat next to
Jordanandgaveheraquickhug.“Youlookinteresting.Bignight?”

Before Jordan could answer, Andrea piped up. “I’d say so. Jordan, here, managed to

bagtheelusiveDJlastnight.”

“Oh,don’tremindme.Hewasgorgeous,butnotmeantforme.Worsethanthat,Ican’t

evenrememberusactuallydoingit.Itwasawastedeffort!”

“Youdon’trememberanything?”

“Nope.ThelastthingIrememberisputtingthebitaboutlookinggreatinjeansintothe

app.Afterthat,it’sallablur.Idon’tevenknowhowwegothome.”

“You got a taxi—I remember that part. He was all over you when the club closed at

three.”

“Really?Thatcouldexplainwhyhewasn’ttotallyrepulsedbymetoday.”

“Yetyousethimfree.”Andrearolledhereyesandtwirledherfingeraroundherear.

“You’recrazy,girl!”

“Whatappareyoutalkingabout?”Shellysignalledthewaitresstobringheramenu.

“WhatdidImissaboutlookinggreatinjeans?”

“Oh,Jordandecidedshe’sgoingtogetmarriedthisyear,sowemadeaplantofindher

perfectman.”

Shelly laughed. “Really? That’s going to be fun. You should write about it on your

blog.”

“No,Ishouldn’t.Idon’twantmenappearingoutofthewoodworkthatareinterestedin

getting on my blog. That would add a whole extra layer of complicated to the process.”
Jordanputherknifeandforkdownandturnedtoherfriend.“Besides,thisisyourtimeto
baskintheglowofbeingengaged.Weshouldn’tbetalkingaboutmyplans.”Shegrabbed
Shelly’shandwhereherengagementringsparkledasbrightlyasithadthenightbefore.“I
didn’tgetachancetoadmirethisgorgeousthinglastnight.Doyouloveit?”

“Ido.Hechosesowell.I’vealwaysimaginedIwantedtochoosemyownring,butthis

is so beautiful.” She held it up in front of her, and it was clear that she still couldn’t
believehe’daskedhertomarryhim.Sheglancedaroundthetableatherfriends.“Imeant
whatIsaidlastnight:Iwantyouthreetobemybridesmaids.Ican’tdothiswithoutyou
allthere.”

Thethreeofthemallspokeatonce.

“Ofcoursewe’llbethere!”

“Wewouldn’tmissit!”

“You’regoingtobesobeautiful!”

Shesmiledatthemashermealwasdelivered:twoeggsononepieceoftoast.

“So,haveyousetthedate?Whereisyourbacon?”Jordannudgedher.

She grinned as she cut into her egg. “I figured I should start with the diet straight

away.”

“What diet? Are you serious? Diets are for people who won’t fit into their dress.

You’reasizeten!”

“Iknow,Iknow.I’dliketostaythatway,soI’mgoingtobegoodrightupuntilthe

wedding.Wehaven’tchosenadate,yet,butwewilltonight.Itwillprobablybesometime

inSeptemberorOctober.It’llbegettingwarmbythen,sothere’sabetterchanceofgood
weather,sinceIwanttogetmarriedoutside.”

TheyatetheirbreakfastinsilencewithoccasionalcommentsaboutthesizeofShelly’s

ring.JordansuccessfullykepttheconversationawayfromherNewYear’sresolutionuntil
thedisheshadbeenclearedandtheywereeachenjoyingacupofcoffee.

“So,Jordan,backtoyou.ShowShellytheapp.”

Shegroanedasshepulledherphoneoutofherbag.“Maybethiswasaterribleidea.I

was really drunk when I said I wanted to get married. Maybe it was because Shelly got
engagedandbecausemymotherneverstopsaskingmewhenit’sgoingtohappen.”

“Drunkpeoplespeakthetruth,likekids,”Andreastated.

Shellyflickedthroughthescreensandlaughedastheyallwatched.“Youweredrunk,

Jordan—yourspellingisawful.Thisislikewhenpeoplesenddrunktextstotheirexes.”
Shelaughedagainasshereadthelistandcorrectedsomeoftheitems.“Thisisatrulyfun
plan. Even if you don’t find a husband, you’re going to have some great stories to tell
aboutthewholeexperience.Youshouldwriteitonyourblog.Singlewomeneverywhere
wouldlapitup,especiallyifitgetsjuicy.”

“No blogging. I blog enough for work without having to document my dating life,

too.”

“Comeon,ifit’sjuicyenough,youcouldgetamovieoffer.”

“Yeah,apornextravaganza.No,thankyou;that’sdefinitelynotonthelist.”

“Okay,keepyourhairon—itwasonlyanidea.Didyousetupyourprofilesonthose

datingsitesyoudownloaded?”

“Notyet.Idon’tknowwhattowrite.”

Andreapipedup,“LetmecurateyourTinderprofile.Iknowexactlyhowtodoitso

yougetthebestswipes.”

“Whatdoesthatevenmean?Don’tyouuploadyourphotoandwritesomezanydetails

aboutyourself?”

“No way!” Andrea looked horrified. “You need to make sure your photos are in the

rightorder,frombesttoworst.Youhaveadog,sothatcantotallyworktoyouradvantage.
We’llsetitupperfectly,soyougetonlygreatguysswipingright.IpromiseI’mthemaster
atthis.”

“Whyareyoustillsingle,then?IknewTinderwasjustforhook-ups!”

“Let’snotjudgeitbeforeyou’vetriedit,okay?Ifyouhateit,youcandeletetheapp

andneveruseitagain,butifyoulikeit…”Andrealetherwordshangintheair.

Shelly’sphonebeepedandsheglancedatitasshespoketothem.“Ithinkyouneedto

addonemorethingtothatlist.”

“What?I’mscaredtoevenask.”Jordanconsideredgivingupthewholeideaasabad

jokebornoftoomuchalcoholandatinyamountofbestfriendweddingjealousy.

“Youneedtodecidethat,nomatterwhathappens,you’renotgoingtogiveup.You’re

goingtoseethisthroughforthewholeyear,andnomatterhowbleakitmightlook,you’ll
keepgoingwithit.”

Jordansighed.“Fine.”Shehelduphermiddlethreefingersandherfriendslaughed.“I

hereby swear that I’ll pursue every avenue to find my perfect man, get myself married,
and get my mother off my case—Scout’s honour, even though I’m not now, nor have I
everbeen,aScout.”

Emilyclappedherhandsandthenclutchedherhead.Andreahandedheraparacetamol

packet from her handbag, and they nattered on for the rest of the afternoon about their
variousplansforthecomingweek.

Jordanknew,asshesatthere,listeningtothemjokingandlaughing,thatthingswould

never be the same once they each got married. It was, however, a chance she was still
desperatetotake.

January

Jordan sat in the coffee shop downstairs the next day, fiddling with her Tinder app.

Andrea had shown her how to use it after they’d set up her profile, and now she found
herself agonising over her swiping choices. It was hard to believe so many people had
registered on this site and were “looking for love.” What ever happened to meeting
someonesociallyandfindingoutthattheyweretherightoneforyou?

Youalreadytriedthat.HaveyouforgottenFish,already?

She hadn’t forgotten him. She’d mostly tried to put him out of her mind the minute

she’ddroppedhimattheclubyesterday.

That doesn’t count—I was drunk. Her own thoughts taunted her. Yes, that’s what can

happenwhenyoumeetsomeonesocially.

An older gentleman drew Jordan’s attention across the room as he motioned to the

server. He waved his arms and cleared his throat until he had her standing by his table.
“I’dliketoorderacoffee,please,Merrill.”

“Oh, we don’t have table service, sir. You need to order at the counter and listen for

yourname.”Shewenttomoveaway,buthespokeagain.

“Merrill, I came here because I want to get some work done. I can’t be leaving my

tableandmycomputerunattendedeachtimeIwantacoffee.Youunderstand,dear.”He
smiledather,expectingthatshewouldnowtakehisorder.

“Idoknowwhatyoumean,sir.Unfortunately,wedon’temploystafffortableservice.

I’msureyourcomputerwillbefinehere,though.Severalotherpeopleworkinthiscafé,
andit’sneveranissue.”Shesmiledpleasantlyathim.

“Merrill,doyouhaveamanageronsite?”Histoneheldtheslightestthreat,andJordan

watched as the waitress squared her shoulders and took a deep breath before turning to
addresshimagain.

“MynameisCindy—CindyMerrill.It’srighthereonmynamebadge,whichforsome

oddreason,youappeartobereadingbackward.”Shespokeinafirmvoice,andanyone
elsecouldseethatsheplannedtotakenoprisoners.“Iamtheownerhere,andwedonot
offer table service. Please order at the counter.” She smiled a steely smile and retreated
behind the counter. The gentleman looked annoyed, and he quickly packed up his
computerandhuffedoutthedoor.

Jordangrinnedassheheardherownnamecalled.Astheownerhandedherhercoffee,

she couldn’t resist making a joke. “I’m going to call you Merrill from now on, if that’s
okay,Merrill?”Cindy’seyeswideneduntilshesawthesmileonJordan’sface.

“You’lldonosuchthing,JordanParker.IfyoucallmeMerrillevenonetime,I’llput

yourrentup!”ThetwowomenlaughedandJordanreturnedtoherseatinthecorner.

She opened Tinder again and swiped right on a couple of pleasant-looking men. Not

forthefirsttime,shewishedthey’daddedsomephysicalfeaturestothelistofmust-haves.
Thatwouldhavemadeitsomucheasiertoeliminatemenfromherpotentiallistofsuitors.
Andrea had joked yesterday about adding a clause about potential suitors being much
older than her, but from what she’d seen of Merrill’s customer this morning, age didn’t
makepeoplemoresuitable,either.

Shereadtheprofileofanattractivemanwhosaidheloveddogs,cats,andkids.Her

fingerhoveredoverthescreenasshesippedhercoffee.

Stuffit,justswipe.Andreasaysyoucanblockthemlater,ifthey’reawful.

Herfingerswipedrightandshesatbackinherchairtowait.Severalminutespassed…

andnothing.Therewasnonotificationofamatch,likeAndreahadsaidwouldpopup.

Maybeit’snotworking.

Shecheckedhersettingsanddecidedeverythinglookedfine.Itwastimetoswipeon

someone else. Over the next fifteen minutes, she swiped right on eight different men.
Afteracoupleofminutes,herscreenfilledwithnotificationsofamatch,andshefeltlike
shewasgettingthehangofit.Sheknewshewassupposedtosendmessagestothoseshe
hadmatched with, butshe felt awkwardto be the oneto go first.As she was pondering
whethershe’dbebraveandmessagesomeone,amessagepoppedupfromoneofthemen.

HEYLADY,YOUSOPRETTY.WHATUDOINONTINDER.

Oh,dear.WhatdoIdonow?Isitwrongtofeellikeyoudon’tgelwithsomeoneafter

twosecondsofreadingtheirmessage?

Reminding herself that this was an app and she wasn’t obliged to answer someone

basedonamatch,sheclosedthewindowandmovedtothenextmessageshe’dreceived.

HI,THERE.HOWAREYOU?

It seemed a lot less confrontational, and she felt confident answering. She sent a

genericmessagesayingshewasgreatandaskinghowhewas.Shesippedhercoffeeand
worriedforthethousandthtimethatthiswasabadidea.Andreasaidshehadhundredsof
matches,butJordandidn’twanttobemessaginghundredsofguysatatime.Howwould
shekeepthemallstraightinherhead?

Shedecidedtochooseonemantosendamessagetofromthegroupthathadmatched

withher.Shewasamodernwoman,afterall,andshecouldn’tsitandwaitforallofthem
tomakethefirstmove.Scrollingthroughthelist,shesettledonamanwhosephotowasof
him with a dog. Dogs should give them some common ground, right? Andrea had said
dogsweregood.

Shesentamessageaskingifhe’dbeenonTinderlong,andthensheclosedtheappand

concentratedonhercoffee.Jordanfeltlameandmaybeabitdesperate.Beforeshecould
consider deleting the app, however, it buzzed with another message. Groaning, she
reachedforthephoneandcheckedthescreen.

NOTVERYLONG.HOWABOUTMEETINGFORCOFFEEANDI’LLTELLYOU

ALLABOUTMYADVENTURESINPERSON?

Hewantstomeet!WhatthehelldoIdonow?Meethim,ofcourse.Isn’tthatthewhole

pointofthisexercise?

Herfingerhoveredoverscreenasshestruggledtomakeadecision.PicturingAndrea

laughingatherifshechickenedout,shemessagedhimbacktomeetheratteno’clockin
thiscoffeeshop.Thatwouldmakeiteasyforher,sinceshecouldcomedownstairsatthe
appointedtimeandthennipupstairswhentheyweredone.

Itwasonlyeightnow,soshehadtimetohaveashowerandgetready.Shesawthatshe

hadthreemoremessagesaskingifshe’dliketomeetforcoffee,andshewassurethatwas
abadsign,sinceitwasthefirstcontactthey’dmadewithher.Herlistofrulessaidshehad
to accept all offers, though, which meant she had to meet these guys once before
discounting them. Tapping out messages to them, she arranged to meet them at eleven,
twelve,andoneo’clock.Theywereeachanhourapart—surelyanhourwasenoughtime
tograbacoffeeanddiscoverifyoulikedsomeoneenoughtotakeitfurther?

***

Right on ten, she sat at her favourite table in the corner of the café. She could see

everyone coming and going, and she’d be able to see each of her dates before they saw
her.Theonlydownsidetothisplanwasthatshehadnowaytoescapeifshesawthemand
decidedshewantedtorun.Runningwasagainsttherules,anyway,sheremindedherself
as she sipped her cold water. She’d already decided to limit her coffee intake, since she
hadtomeetfourseparatementoday.She’dbewiredifshedrankcoffeewithallofthem
andthenhadmoreinbetween!

Herfirstsuitorappearedinthedoorwayofthecoffeeshop,andsheknewstraightaway

thattheyweren’tgoingtogetalong.Hewasafootshorterthanhisprofilestatedandhis
photo had apparently been quite old—at least ten years old, judging by the man who
appearedathertablewithhishandoutstretched.

“Hi,there.Jordan,isit?”

“That’sright,”sheheldoutherhand.“You’reBob?”Jordanaskedashesatinthechair

oppositeher,notbotheringtointroducehimself.Heseemedoblivioustothefactthatthere
wasachancehewasn’ttheonlydateshehadtoday.

“Iam.CanIbuyyouacoffee?”

“Actually,I’mgoingtostickwithwater,ifyoudon’tmind.”Shesmiledashestood.

“I’vealreadyhadtwothismorningandIliketolimitmyself.”

“Or,”hepausedashelookeddownather,“you’renotplanningonstayinglong.”

Sheblushedathisveiledaccusation.“No,that’snotitatall.Idon’twanttohavetoo

muchcaffeine.”

He sighed and glanced at the counter before looking back at her. “Listen, I know a

blow-offwhenIhearit.I’llputyououtofyourmiseryandgo.”Withthat,heturnedand
walkedoutofthecafé,noteventurningtoseeJordan’smouthhangingopen.

Hersurprisewashardtohideasshestoodfromthetableandtookthestairstwobytwo

to her apartment. She leaned against the front door as it closed behind her, muttering to
herselfaboutluckyescapes.

WhatonEarthamIdoing?

Feeling an overwhelming desire to cancel the other three dates, she launched herself

intovacuumingandcleaningtheapartment.Fortyminuteslater,shecheckedhermakeup
andsteeledherselftogodownstairsandtakeupherusualposition.

Her usual table was occupied, however, and she glanced around for the next best

option.Theonlyvacanttableswererightnexttothedoor,sosheslippedreluctantlyintoa
chair at one of those. She didn’t order a drink, not wanting to upset the next man who
arrivedfortheircoffeedate.Rightateleven,hearrivedandwalkedstraightpasther.He
stoodatthecounter,placinghiscoffeeorder,asshetriedtocatchhisattention.

He turned with his coffee and headed for the door, but she stepped in front of him.

“Hey,Brett,aren’tyougoingtostay?”Helookedsurprisedatherwordsandstoppeddead.

“Umm…I’mLuke,notBrett.”

“Oh, really? Are you sure you’re not trying to get out of here without meeting me?”

Her eyes flashed as she accused him. “What’s with you men today?” Shaking her head,
shetookastepback.“Go—justgo.Igiveup.”

He watched as she plopped into her chair with a defeated sigh. Frowning, he slipped

intotheseatoppositeher.“WhodoyouthinkIam?MynamereallyisLuke,andI’veno
ideawhatyou’retalkingabout.”

“You look exactly like the guy I’m meant to meet from Tinder. His profile says his

nameisBrett.”

“Wemustlooksimilar,then,Iguess.Wait,you’reonTinder?”Helookedherupand

down with an incredulous look on his face before meeting her eyes again. “Sorry, you
surprisedme.Imayhavetotrythatappout,afterall.”

She blushed a deep red as the couple next to them watched with interest. Jordan had

triedsohardtokeepTinderasecretfromthepeopleshesawoccasionallyintheshop,and
nowcompletestrangerswerehearingallaboutit.

“Well,itwaskindofabet.”Shecaughtherselfbeforesheexplainedthewholeideato

him.“Anyway,nevermind.I’msorrytobotheryou.”Shepulledoutherphone,berating
herselfforbeingsostupid.Whydidn’tshesitthere,wait,andgohomeifhedidn’tshow?
HedidlookliketheelusiveBrett,though,shetoldherself,assheopenedhisprofileagain.

Lukewasstillsittingathertable,andsheturnedherphonetoshowhim,“Ha!Itisyou,

look.”

He leaned forward and looked at her phone. “Holy shit—that’s my Facebook photo.

It’s not my Tinder profile, though, I can promise you. Can I see?” He held out his hand
andshepassedhimthephone.“IcannotbelievesomeoneisusingmyFacebookphototo
pickupwomen.Howisthatevenpossible?IthoughtyouhadtolinktoFacebooktobe
abletostartaTinderaccount?”

“Oh,soyou’renotonTinder,butyouknowwhatyouhavetodotoopenanaccount?

That’s telling.” She rolled her eyes. “Why don’t you just admit that it’s you and you
weren’tinterestedenoughtostayandmeetme?”

“Believeme,ifIhadadatewithyou,Iwouldnotstandyouup.”Hegrinned,butshe

wasunconvinced.“Let’slookupthatguyonFacebook.What’shislastname?”

“Stephens.”

“Okay, Brett Stephens, what are you doing using a hot specimen like me for your

profile?”hemutteredashesearchedonhisphone.Jordancouldn’thelpbutsmile;hehad
seemedgenuinelysurprisedatherreactiontohimnotbeingBrett.“Ahh…thereyougo.
HehasawholeprofileonFacebookwithseveralofmyphotos.”Hehandedherhisphone
andgrinnedashestretchedbackinhisseatandlinkedhishandsbehindhishead.“Brett
obviously thinks I’m hot enough to attract the ladies for him. I wonder why he hasn’t
shownuptoconfesstohiscrimes?”

Shehatedthewayhewaslaughingatherwhileatthesametimebeingwildlypleased

withhimself.“Ithinkit’stimeIquitTinder.Thishasturnedouttobeonedisasterafter
another.”Shepickedupherhandbagandslippedherphoneintothesidepocket.“I’mso
sorryIaccostedyou.WhatarethechancesofyoushowinguphereonthedayI’mmeant
tomeetsomeonewhosaystheyareyou?”

“Creepycoincidence,Ireckon,”hesaid,standingwhenshedid.Beforeshecouldslip

pasthimandupthestairs,hespokeagain,“Listen,I’llmakeyouadeal.Ifyournextdate
turnsouttobeadud,callmeandI’lltakeyouout.”Hehandedherhisbusinesscardand
she slipped it into her bag without looking at it, as her brain furiously thought over his
offer.

“Areyouaskingmeout?”

“Nope,I’m offering totake you outif the next guyis shit. Kindof a sympathy date.

Deal?”

Dammit.Ifhe’daskedmeout,Iwouldhavehadtosayyesbecauseoftherules.Why

couldn’thehavesaidyes?

“Iguess.I’msureIcan’tstrikeoutthreetimesinarow,though,sodon’texpecttohear

fromme.I’mworthmorethanasympathydate.”

“True.Myloss.Seeyou‘round.”He,hischeekygrin,andhiscoffeedisappearedout

thedoor,andshewatchedhimwalktoapushbikechainedaroundastreetsign.

God dammit, he rides a bike. No car means he doesn’t meet the list requirements.

That’s a shame, a naughty voice whispered in her ear. His bum looks amazing in those
jeans.

***

As the clock hands crept toward one o’clock, Jordan examined herself in the mirror.

She’dscrubbedthebathroomandherhousewasnowspotless.

Thisdatingbusinessissuregreatforgettingmychoresdone.Ishouldhavethoughtof

itsooner.

Shebrushedherhairandtieditintoatightponytailbeforegoinginsearchofherkeys

forthefourthtimetoday.Asshedescendedtothegroundfloor,shesaidasilentprayerfor
the universe to send her a decent guy. The fourth time would have to be the charm,
becauseherthirddatehadturnedouttobecrazy.

He’dbroughthisdogalong,whichshe’dthoughtwasanicetouch,untilhe’dinsisted

theysitrightnearthewindowsohis“baby”couldseehim.He’dgottenupnolessthanten
times to get items for the dog. First it was water, and then a request to Cindy for
somethingthedogcouldeat.Afterthat,he’dmovedthedogintotheshade,wentoutto
check that its collar wasn’t too tight, and chased off a small boy who wanted to pat the
animal. By that point, Jordan had had enough and she excused herself, citing another
appointment.Herdatehadcheerfullygrinnedather,saidgoodbye,andrushedouttothe
dog.Thelastshesawofhim,hewascarryingitupthestreetandlettingitlickhismouth.

Eww…

She settled herself now at her favourite table and ignored Cindy’s questioning stare.

AfterpullingupabookonherKindle,shekeptherselfbusyreadingwhileshewaitedfor
victimnumberfourtoshowup.

Shewasengrossedinthestoryafewminuteslater,whensheheardasoftcoughbeside

hertable.Jordanlookedupintothemoststunninggreeneyesshe’deverseenasthehand
withtheKindlefellontoherlap.

Shedidn’tspeakasshegazedupatherdate,andheeventuallystuckouthishand,“Hi,

I’m Richard. You’re Jordan?” She took his hand and nodded mutely, unable to believe
thoseeyes.

HisTinderphotosdonotdohimjustice.

“CanIgetyouadrink?”

Shesnappedherselfoutofherstuporandsmiledupathimwithwhatshehopedwasan

engaginggrin.“Yes,please.I’llhaveablackcoffee.”Hesmiledandturnedawaytoplace
hisorderwithCindy,andJordan’seyescreptdownhisback.

Damn,thosejeansfithimwell.Sofar,sogood.

Hereturnedwiththedrinksandsettledhimselfoppositeher.“So,Jordan,whatdoyou

doforwork?”Hewastednotimegettingtothequestions—ormaybehewastryingtoput
heratease.

“Irunawebsite.Iwritethearticles,organiseadvertising,andthatsortofthing.How

aboutyou?”

“I’m an advertising executive. We run all the big campaigns you see on television—

mostlyforbeercompaniesorsoftdrinkbrands.”

“Thatsoundsinteresting.”

“It’salright.Itpayswell,andthereareloadsofperks,likenotworkingonSaturdays.”

Hesmiledandsherelaxedforthefirsttimethatday.

Maybemyluckhasfinallychanged.

Theychattedforthenextthirtyminutes,orso,andJordanhaddecidedshewasquite

comfortablewithhimwhenhestartedcheckinghiswatch.Shewasinthemiddleoftelling
him about some of the funniest spam messages she’d received on her website when he
suddenlyhelduphishand,lookinguncomfortable.“Iseverythingokay?”sheasked.

“It is, but Jordan, I’m afraid I’m going to have to run.” Her eyes narrowed and he

placedhishandoverhersonthetable.“It’snotwhatyouthink,Ipromise.Imadeplans
withamatetogotothefootballthisafternoon.Iwasn’texpectingtoenjoymyselfwith
yousomuch.”Herealisedwhathe’dsaidandfrownedathimself.“Sorry,thatdidn’tcome
out right. I thought I’d be here for thirty minutes and then I’d be able to escape. You’re
fun,though,andI’dliketoseeyouagain,ifthat’sokay.”

She smiled at him as she thought about the warmth of his hand on hers. He was

someoneshe’ddefinitelyliketoseeagain.“Sure,that’dbegreat.Doyouwanttomakea
time,ordoyouwanttocallme?”

“HowaboutIwalkyoutoyourcarandwecancheckourcalendars?Mine’sprettyfree,

tobehonest.”

TheyrosefromthetableasJordanrealisedshewasgoingtohavetogotohercar,as

thoughshedidn’tlivedirectlyupstairs.Astheymovedtothedoor,heplacedhishandon
thesmallofherback;forananosecond,sheconsideredconfessing,butsomethingstopped
her.Itwastoosoontotellhimwhereshelived,nomatterhowmuchshelikedhim.Itwas
also kind of weird to have to tell him she lived upstairs and had scheduled her dates an
hourapartdownstairs.Afteradayofmeetingoddmen,shewasn’treadytobethoughtof
astheweirdgirlfromTinder.

She led him to her car, kicking herself mentally for not considering this possibility.

They walked to the side street where it was parked, and he suggested they meet in two

weeks on a Tuesday night for dinner. She popped it in her calendar and shook his hand
beforeslidingintohercarandgigglingtoherself.

Whereshouldshego?Shedidn’thaveanyerrandstorun,andshekneweveryoneelse

wasoffdoingtheirthing.Sheputthecaringearandpulledoutontothestreet.Whenshe
stoppedatthecornertoturnright,shenoticedRichardgettingintoalatemodel,redsports
car.

Tickoffanotheritemfromthelist.He’sdoingprettywell.

Jordanturnedontothestreetandagainatthenextintersection.Shedroveforablockor

two, trying to decide what she should do with herself. As she stopped at the next
intersectionwithherrightindicatoron,sheknewexactlywhereshewouldgo.Sheturned,
turned right again, and before she knew it, she was sliding into the parking spot she’d
vacatedafewminutesearlier.Chucklingtoherself,shelockedupthecarandreturnedto
thecoffeeshop,headingforthestairs.Cindy’squestioningstarefollowedherthroughthe
storeasshesweptpast.

***

Her dinner date with Richard rolled around faster than Jordan expected. She was

workingonabigprojecttorevampherwebsite,andseveraltimesinthenexttwoweeks,
shefoundherselfhunchedoverinfrontofthecomputerattwointhemorning.Sleepingin
thenextdaymeantthedayspassedquickly,andbeforesheknewit,shewasgettingready
tomeetRichardattherestauranthe’dtextedherabout.

She was ready early, so she sat on the couch and checked her messages to pass the

time. In the weeks since she’d met Richard, she’d signed up with eHarmony and
match.com,andshe’dhadquitealargeresponsefromthemenoftheworld.Toomany,in
fact,andshe’dhadtocheatalittlebitontherulethat,iftheyaskedherout,shehadtosay
yes. Men who messaged through dating apps weren’t the same as men you met in a
restaurantorinaclub,itseemed,andintheend,she’dsaidnotoquiteafewofthem.

AmannamedPeterhadaskedhertogooutwithhimonhisboatontheweekendand

she still couldn’t decide whether to say yes. Going alone on a boat did not sound like a
safeideaforafirstdate,nomatterhowshetriedtospinitinherhead.Shemessagedhim
totellhimshedidn’tfeelcomfortableaboutit,andherepliedalmostinstantly.

SORRY,MYMISTAKE.WEAREN’TGOINGTOBEALONE;THERE’SABOAT

CREWANDOTHERGUESTS.TAKEACHANCE?

She read the message and frowned. It couldn’t be that bad, if others were coming

along,too,couldit?Takingthebullbythehornsseemedtobewhatwasrequiredofher
thesedays,soshequicklyaccepted,andhegaveherthedetailsfortheirweekendmeetup.

Shedidn’thavelongtothinkaboutit,asitwastimetogetherselftotherestauranttomeet
Richard.

Thiswholedatingthinghasdefinitelyimprovedmysociallife,ifnothingelse.

***

Richardmetheroutsidetherestaurant,lookingdapperinadarkgreenshirtandblack

pants.Hiseyessparkledwheneverhelookedather,andJordanfeltatinytrickleofdesire
creep down her spine. If he kept this up, Richard might wipe the competition out of the
running.Shehadtoadmitthatshe’dlikethatalot.Agreeingtodatesandschedulingthem
into her calendar was proving to kill some of the romance she expected when meeting
men.

Insistingtheguysonherlistallhadtheirowncarswaspointless,too,sinceshewasn’t

givingoutherhomeaddresstoanyofthem.Eithertheypickedherupfromsomewhere
else, or she drove herself. When she drove it took away all the chances for mindless
chatterinthecar.She’dalwaysbeenconvincedthattheconversationsthathelpedyouget
toknowsomeoneweretheonesthatoccurredwhenpeoplewerethemostrelaxed.Shefelt
likeherdateswereontheirbestbehaviourwhenevershespenttimewiththem;itwasn’t
exactlyperfectformeetingyoursoulmateorgettingtoknowwhatmadesomeonetick.

The waiter showed them to their table and they made small talk as Richard told her

about his day. She didn’t have much to share; she’d written two blog posts, booked the
next month’s advertising, and spent the rest of the day on social media. It was hardly
scintillatingstufftoabigadexecutive.

Hewasnice,though,andhemadeherfeellikehewasinterestedinherandwhatshe

hadtosay.Theydiscussedtheupcomingelectionandlaughedtogetherasthecoupleatthe
next table had a row right there in the restaurant before both storming out. The waiter
running after them and demanding that someone pay for the meal had them both in
stitchesagainastheywaitedfortheirdesserttoarrive.

JordanwashappyandrelaxedwhenRichardbroachedthesubjectofwhattheyshould

donext.“So,Ihaveaquestionforyou.”Hisfingerranalongthebackofherhandashe
lookedather.“Areyouinterestedintakingthisfurtherwithme?”

Shelaughedawkwardly—talkingaboutherfeelingswasnotherstrongsuit.“I’dlike

to.You’reoneofthefewnormalpeopleonTinder,itseems.Oneoftheotherguysasked
meforsexbeforehe’devenfinishedhiscoffee.”

“Wow.That’skeen.”

“Yeah. Obviously, my answer was no. I’m really looking for something more long-

term.”Shesighed,“Tinderdefinitelyappearstobeaplaceforhook-upsmorethanserious
relationships.”

“You’re right. I’ve had my share of hook-ups on there.” He signalled the waiter to

bringthemmorecoffee.“So,wanttocatchamovieontheweekend?MaybeonSunday?”

“Sure.Whatshouldwesee?”

“You choose. I’ll pay.” He grinned as the waiter put his cup in front of him, and he

thankedhim.Youcouldlearnalotfromhowpeopletreatedwaitstaffinrestaurants,and
Richardwasshapinguptobearealkeeper.

“So,spill,”hesaid,pullingherattentiontohisface.“IwanttoheareverycrazyTinder

storyyouhave.”

“Oh, you’ll be here all night. I only joined up on New Year’s Day, which means a

monthofthemadness.Icouldalreadywriteabook.”

“Comeon,then.Tellme,what’syourrecordformeetingupinoneday?

“Honestly?”

“Yes.I’llgofirst.Imetfourgirlsonthesameday.Itwasexhausting.”

She laughed at the look on his face and decided to be brave and tell him. “Well, my

recordisfour,aswell.TheSaturdaywemet,youwerenumberfour.”

“Ooh,andyoukeptmearound!I’mflattered.”

“Sorry to rain on your parade, but you shouldn’t be flattered. Two of the first three

wereinsane,andonedidn’tshowup.”

“Wow.Howtodeflatemyegoinamatterofseconds!”

“Sorry.”

“ItmustbebecauseIwalkedyoutoyourcar,huh?Chivalryandallthat?”

ShesnickeredasshethoughtofthelasttwoSaturdaysandthefiveseparateoccasions

thatoneofherdateshadinsistedonwalkinghertohercar.She’dbeenroundandround
theblockinthelastfewweeks—somanytimesthatshecouldprobablynameeachofher
neighboursondifferentstreets,bynow.“It’sdefinitelynotthat.”

“So,you’vehaddatesinthelastfewweeks.How’dtheyturnout?”

“I’mherewithyou,aren’tI?”sheaskedashestartedtolaugh.

“Who would have thought I’d be the most normal from a big bunch?” He chuckled

againandshejoinedinuntiltheywerebothgigglinglikechildren.

She laughed even harder when she realised she could never tell him that Cindy had

bailedheruponthethirdSaturdayandaskedherifshewassleepingwitheachofthemen
she’dleftthecaféwith!

***

“What the hell do you mean we’re going shark diving?” Adrenaline rushed through

Jordan’sbodyasshestaredatPeterwithahorrifiedlookonherface.“Whydidn’tyoutell
methiswasyourplan?”

He looked guilty, but not guilty enough to convince her that this wasn’t part of his

regularroutinetoscreenhisdates.“MylastgirlfriendneverdidwhatIwantedtodo.She
wasn’tintoextremesportsoranythingmoreexcitingthanatriptoadifferentsupermarket
thantheonesheusuallyvisited.Iwantmorethanthatthistimearound.”Hepointedatthe
shark cage being lowered into the water as Jordan’s fingers clenched tightly around the
metalrailing.“IwanttoseehowyouhandleextremestressbeforeIgoanyfurtherwith
thisrelationship.”Hesmiledather,willinghertounderstand.

“You’vegottobefuckingkiddingme.”Sheflickedhereyesuptothecloudsabove,

fighting back tears of fury and fear. “You didn’t think to put on your profile that you
wantedsomeonewhowasintoextremesports,aswell?Wouldn’tthathavebeensimpler
thanthischarade?”

Sheglaredathimasshethoughtaboutthestartoftheirmorning.He’dmetheratthe

boat,complimentedheronheroutfit,andthey’dcomeaboardandmettheothercouples.
Jordanthoughtthey’dallbeendressedfairlycasually,andshe’ddefinitelybeenconfused
whenthecaptainhadthemallgetintowetsuits.Itwasn’tuntilthesharkcagewaswinched
overfromGodknewwherethatsherealisedshe’dbeentricked.Nowtherewasnoway
outoftakingherturnwithoutcausingascene.Sheturnedawayfromhimassheexamined
thecagesloshingaroundinthechoppyocean.

“Sorry.Ithoughtitwouldbefun.”

“Well,areyouhavingfunnow,knowingthatwe’renotcompatible,butthatwehaveto

spendtherestoftheafternoontogether?Didn’tyouthinkforonesecondhowImightfeel
aboutthis?”

“Iguessnot.”

“You’readick.I’mdeletingTinderthesecondIgethome,”shemutteredtoherselfas

shewatchedacouplelistentotheinstructionsfromthestaffandthenclimbintothecage.
Theybothlookedterrified,andJordanwonderedwhathadcausedthemtobookthistour.
Herheartsatinherthroatasshewatchedthecaptainstirupthewaterandthrowsomefish
intogetthesharkstocomecloser.Thiswasthelastplacesheeverexpectedtobetoday.

Pushingthoughtsasideofwhatwouldhappentothemiftheirboatweretosinkafter

they’d attracted all these sharks to the area, she considered her options. She knew she
couldsitthisoutifsheinsisted.Peterwouldsulk,butshedidn’towehimanexplanation.
He’dpaidforthistrip,though,anditmightbetheonlychanceinherlifesheevergotto
dosomethingascrazyasthis.

Itmightbetheonlytime,becauseyoumightdietoday.Shesqueezedhereyesshutand

summoned the courage to go through with it. Opening them and looking around at the
boat decked out with safety equipment eased her mind slightly, and she was tempted to
giveitatry.Decide,eitherway.Stopbeingababy.You’reeitherinorout.

Peterhadassumedthatshewouldn’tbejoininghimandwasstanding,waitingforthe

safetybrief.Shewalkedovertostandbesidehim,carefultokeepherfootingastheboat
movedupanddownonthewaves.

Heglancedatherandhopefilledhiseyes.“Don’tgetanyideas.I’mdoingthisbecause

it’saonce-in-a-lifetimeopportunity.YouandIarenotgoingtoseeeachotheragainafter
today—thiswasareallyshittythingtodo.”

***

Emily,Andrea,andShellystaredatherasshetoldthestoryofhersharkexperience.

They’dalternatedbetweensquealsofterrorandeyerollingdisgustatPeter’sassumptions,
andhadnowbeensilencedasshedescribedherterrorinthecage.

“I’veneverhadscubadivinggearonbefore—neverbeenstuckinacageofanysort,

onlandorunderwater.IwassureIwasgoingtodie.Thesharksweresoclose,andallI
couldthinkaboutwasthoseonlinevideoswherethedaygoeswrongandthesharkgets
intothecage.Peter,ontheotherhand,seemedtobehavingwaytoomuchfun.IswearI
could hear his gleeful squealing underwater. I can’t believe he would reject a totally
suitabledatebecauseshedidn’twanttoscarethecrapoutofherselfeveryweekend.”

“Well,ifyougobythelistwemade,you’llberejectingguyswhodon’thavecarsor

whoaren’ttallerthanyou.It’skindofthesamething,isn’tit?”Andreawasneveroneto
hideherthoughts.

“I guess it is, but jeez, Andrea, you said the list was a good idea!” She pushed her

friend’sarmandtheyalllaughed.Jordanwavedherphoneatthem.“I’vedeletedTinder,
too,thankyouverymuch.It’sbeenshitsincedayone.”

“Ohno,youdidn’t,”Andreasaid.“Whataboutthathotguyfromthecaféyoutoldus

about?”

“Itwasn’thim,remember?Someoneelseusedhispic,althoughI’mstillnotconvinced

hewasn’tlyingaboutthat.”ShecrinkledhereyebrowsasshethoughtaboutLuke.Every
so often, his model good looks popped into her head, and she remembered she’d been
unabletofindhiscard.Shethenrememberedthepushbikeandallthoughtsofhimwent
away.

Emilytriednext.“WhataboutRichard?Youlikehim,don’tyou?”

“Ido,butIdon’tneedTinder,nowthatI’vemethim.Hewastheonlynormaloneto

comeoutofthatwholebunch.Itriedforweeksandwentoneightdates,threeofwhich
stoodmeup.Ithinkthat’senough,don’tyou?”

“What are you going to do now? It’s only the end of January—are you giving up

already?”

“No,I’mnotgivingup.Nothinghaschangedaboutmyplan.Istillhatebeingsingle,

andIstillwanttowalkdowntheaisle.I’llhavetogetcreativeaboutmeetingMrRight,

that’sall.Trustme,heisnotonTinder.”

“Maybeit’sRichard.”ItwasShelly’sturntospeakup.“Youmightstillbelooking,but

he’srightthereinfrontofyou.”

“You could be right. We have another date tomorrow night, and I do really like him.

So, we’ll see. I’m just worried that, if I settle down and assume we’ll eventually be
exclusive,I’llbejumpingthegun.”

“Maybeyoushouldgoononeofthoseweddingshows,”shesuggested.

“Oohyes,”Emilysquealed.“Thatwouldbesocool.Youcouldgoonthatshowwhere

youmarryacompletestranger—orthatawfuldatingonewheretheypairyouupwithyour
completeopposite.”

“I could, but those were all filmed ages ago, if we’re seeing them now. How about I

sticktomeetingagood,solidguywho’lltreatmeright?”

Theynoddedtheiragreement,andthewaitressapproachedtheirtabletotellthemtheir

movie was going to start. They grabbed their bags and headed inside, where they were
showntotheirseats.

Shelly whispered to Jordan as they waited their turn, “Is there anything better than

GoldClassmovieswiththegirls?”

“Well,Iimagineyourweddingwillbebetter,”shewhisperedback,“butIknowwhat

youmean.”

“Oh,thatremindsme,girls.”ShewavedherhandsatEmilyandAndrea.“BoydandI

arehavingourengagementpartyatthebeginningofMarch.We’lltotallyneedyourhelp
togetitorganised.”

February

Jordansatacrossfromhermother,tryingtoignoretheclockonthewall.Sheknewshe

had another ten minutes, or so, before she started asking her about possible suitors or
suggestingshegoondateswith“thatniceman”fromwork.Everytimeshecamehere,it
wasthesame,soshelimitedhervisits,preferringtobetormentedoverthephone.

“Ireadyourlatestblogpost,dear.Didyoumeantosaythatmenwhoridepushbikesto

work haven’t grown up, yet? You know you won’t meet a man if you keep intimidating
themwithyourwriting.”PatriciapouredacupofteaforJordan,convenientlyforgetting
thatherdaughteronlydrankcoffee.

“Yes,Mum,Imeanttowritethat,anddon’tworry—anyoneI’mlikelytodatehasn’t

readmyblog.Ithasasmallnicheaudienceofforward-thinkingwomen.”

“Ohgood.Iamlookingforwardtothedayyousettledown.IfShellycanfindaman,

surelyyoucan,too.”SheplacedaplateofbiscuitsonthetableandJordanreachedforthe
largestone.Sugaralwaysdulledthepainofavisitwithhermother.“Don’teattoomany
—you don’t want to get fat.” Ahh… there’s not enough sugar in the world to dull the
heavythrobofthisvisit.“So,tellmewhatyou’vedonesinceNewYear’s.Ihaven’tseen
youonce.That’squitealongtimetoavoidyourmother,evenforyou.”

“I’m not avoiding you, Mum. I’ve been busy with work, and Shelly is going to start

planningtheweddingsoon,sowe’vebeencatchinguptotalkaboutwhereshemightlike
togetmarried.”

“Oh,that’slovely.WillIbeinvited?”

“Ihavenoidea,Mum.”

“Make sure you put in a good word for me. Surely the head bridesmaid’s mother

shouldbeinvited?”

“I’m not the head bridesmaid—we’re all just bridesmaids—and I’m not going to ask

Shellytoinvitemymothertoherwedding.Ifshewantsyouthere,you’llfindanenvelope
inyourmailboxsixweeksbeforehand,addressedtoMrsPHoffstaetter.Untilthen,you’ll
havetolivewiththesuspense.”

“I’msureyoucouldtellhertoinviteme.You’rebeingstubborn.”ShesniffedasJordan

gritherteethandateanotherbiscuit.Sheglancedattheclock.Stilltooearlytoescape,no
matterhowtorturousthisvisitwasturningouttobe.“Speakingofbeingstubborn,Ican’t
believeyourfatherinsistedonParkerbeingyoursurname.There’snothingwrongwithmy
familyname.”

Jordan sighed and resisted the urge to bang her head against the table. “We’ve been

throughthisMum.I’mkeepingParkerasmylastname.It’sshorterandeasierformyblog
readerstospellandremember.You’resotraditional,Ican’tbelieveyoudidn’ttakedad’s
namewhenyouweremarried.”

“A woman has to have some independence Jordan. Anyway, are you busy on the

weekend?” This was new. Her mother never invited her anywhere, unless she had a
boyfriendatthetime.Itwasalmostlikeshewasn’tgoodenoughtoparadearoundinfront
ofherfriendsunlessshewaspartofacouple.

“I’mnotsure,yet.Why?”

“Tinaismovinghouseandweneedsomeonetohelpus.”

“TinaJones?Icouldcomebyforacoupleofhours.Ionlyhavethecar,though,soI’d

havetomovethesmallitems.Doyouhavearemovalistcoming?”

“Yes,webookedoneweeksago,sothere’llbenoheavylifting.Tinahasalotoffine

china and delicate kitchen items, though, and she doesn’t want those boxes to go in the
truck.”

“Remindhernottoover-packtheboxes.Youknowwhathappenedlasttimewehelped

her.”

“I’msurprisedyourememberthat.Itwasyearsago.”

“I’msurprisedshe’spreparedtoletushelp.Thatdayissearedintomybrain,Mother.”

Shestretchedoutthewords.“I’veneverheardsomeonewailsoloudlyaboutthebottom
fallingoutofabox.”

“Yes,Idorememberthat.Didn’tyourboyfriendatthetimedothat?”

“Hedid,andafterthatday,hegraduallyremovedhimselffrommylife.Onceagain,we

haveanexampleofwhyIdon’tbringboyfriendsaroundtomeetyou.”

“Thatonewasn’tevenmyfault.”Shesniffedassheremovedtheplateofbiscuitsfrom

Jordan’soutstretchedfingers.“Ican’twaittomeetyournextboyfriend.”

“Me neither. When he appears and looks likely to hang around, I’ll let you know.

Where’sDad,anyway?”

“Atthehardwarestore,wherehespendshalfhislife.Onthewayhome,he’sstopping

bythetravelagent.”

“Again?Where’shegoingthistime?”

“Hewon’tsay.He’sinsistingthatIhavetogowithhimorhe’snottakinganothertrip.”

“Gowithhim,then.”

Patriciasighed.“IknowIshould,butIdon’twantto.”

“It’s time, Mum. Do you think, if I had a boyfriend, I’d want him to go on holiday

withoutme?Wouldn’tyoubenaggingmetogowithhim?”

“It’sdifferentforus,dear;we’veneverbeenawaytogetherbefore.”

“Onlybecauseyouwon’tgo!”Jordantriedhardnottoraisehervoice,buthermother

frustratedhersomuch.Glancingattheclock,sherealisedshecouldleaveanytimenow
andnotappearrude.“Youneedtositdownwithhimandchoosesomewherethatyou’d

like to go. Do it together, and get him to book it before you change your mind. It’s the
onlyway,Mum.”Shestoodfromherchair.“Listen,Ihavetogo,butcallmewhenyou’ve
bookedit,soIcancongratulateDad.”Shekissedhermotheronthecheekandalmostran
outtothecar.

It’s February, now; I don’t have to come back here until at least April, except for

movingday.

***

BythetimeTina’smovingdayrolledaround,she’ddecidedshedidn’twantJordan’s

help, after all, so an entire Saturday stretched out before her. Shelly and Boyd had gone
away for the weekend, Emily was studying for an exam for the night course she was
taking, and Andrea wasn’t answering her phone. Jordan sat downstairs in the café,
checkingheremail,whichbasicallymeantclickingthedeletebuttoneverythreeseconds
untilallthejunkmailwasgone.

“Knock, knock!” Knuckles rapped on the table, and Jordan looked up from where

she’dbeenengrossedinherclicking.Thosebeautifuleyespiercedhersoul,andsherolled
hers as she remembered that other guy on Tinder who thought he was hot enough to be
Luke. “Is this your office, now?” he asked, taking a sip of his coffee. She raised one
eyebrow, confusion clouding her face as he continued. “I’ve seen you here a few times,
now,busywithyourcomputer.Ihaven’twantedtointrude,buttodayIcouldn’tresist.”

“Oh.” She smiled at him as his conversation suddenly made sense. “I actually work

hereacoupleoftimesaweek.”

“Yourbosslet’syouworkfromacafé?”

“She does, because she’s awesome!” Jordan laughed, and it was his turn to look

confused. Sighing, she realised she’d need to spell her joke out for him. “I’m my own
boss.”

“Oh,right.Ididn’trealise.CanIsitdown?”

“Well,I’minthemiddleof—”hepulledouttheseatandploppeddownoppositeher,

“byallmeans,joinme,”shefinished.

“Whatdoyoudothatletsyouworkfromcafés?”

“Irunawebsite.Didn’twehavethisconversationthelasttimeyouwerehere?”

“Idon’tthinkso.Maybeyou’regettingmemixedupwithallofyourTinderdates.”He

grinnedatherandsheglaredbackathim.She’dforgottenheknewaboutthose.“So,you
livenearby,then?”

“Imight.Whyareyouasking?”

“Well,youfrequentthesamecoffeeshopregularly.Logicsaysyoulivenearby.”

“Areyousomekindofcoffeeshopstalker?”

“Icouldbe…fortherightgirl.”Hegrinnedagainandshetorehereyesawayfromhis

face—itwouldn’tdoheranygoodtolookathim.Hewasspectacularlyhandsome,andhe
knewit.

Hehasapushbike.Keepremindingyourselfofthatwheneveryou’retempted.

She closed her laptop and took a sip of her own coffee. The silence stretched out

betweenthem,andshewaitedforhimtoconfesswhyhe’dchosenaseatathertable.She
suspectedhewasdyingtoknowhowherdateshadgone,buttherewasnowayshewas
going to volunteer the information. Maybe he’d expected her to call for that sympathy
date.

“Gotanyplanstoday?”Hisquestionshockedher,andshestaredathimwithavacant

lookonherface.“Hello.”Hewavedhishandinfrontofhereyesandsheslappeditaway.

“Iwasmeanttohelpanoldladymovehouse,butsheflickedme.”Mightaswellstart

withthetruth.“So,Idecidedtodosomework,instead.”

“That’snofun.Why’dyougettheflick?”

“Mylastboyfriendsmashedaboxofherpreciouskeepsakestheonetimewehelped

her. I guess she decided she couldn’t spare any of her pretties today.” She tried not to
laughassherememberedthatdaysixyearsago.Itwasanawfulmemoryformorethan
theshatteredchina,though:Victorhaddecidedhermotherwastoomuchtohandleafter
that,andhe’dbrokenupwithhertwoweekslater.

Cursemymotherandherimpactonmylovelife.

“So,wouldyouconsiderhangingoutwithme?”Luketriedtolookcasual,butalittle

twitchinhiseyebrowgavehimaway.

“Likeadate?”

“Well,maybe,ifyouwanttocallitthat.”

“Why do you think I need a date? I met all those guys on Tinder, remember?” He

clearedhisthroatandexaminedhiscoffeecupcarefully.Hewouldn’tmeethereyes,and
sheknewhewashidingsomething.TakingaleafoutofAndrea’sbook,shedecidedtoask
himstraightout.“Whatareyounottellingme?”

Hechuckledtohimselfandthenliftedhiseyestohers.“Ihaveaconfession.Itcould

comeacrossascreepy,butIsawyouherethreeSaturdaysinarowwithyourdates.You
didn’tappeartobehavingmuchluck.”

“Youwerehere?”

“Iworkaroundthecorner,soIcometothiscoffeeshopalmostasmuchasyoudo,it

would appear. I’ve seen you having coffee and going out to your car quite a few times
recently.”

“Andyouthoughtyou’dthrowyourhatintothering?”

“No,butIdidwonderwhyyouhadn’tcalledme.FromwhatIsaw,asympathydate

withmemighthavebeenabetterexperiencethanthemenyou’vebeenhangingoutwith.”

Shelaughedoutloudathisstatement—hecouldn’tknowhowaccuratehewas.Ofall

themenshe’dmet,onlyRichardhadbeenworthseeingmorethanonce.“You’resoright.”
Shegiggledagain,“I’vehadtheworstluck.”

“Yetmyphoneremainedsilent.”

“Itdid.Ican’teventellyouwhy,becauseI’llsoundtoomean.”

“There’sanactualreason?”Shenodded.“Oh,comeon,youhavetotellme,now.”

“Ican’t.Youshouldprobablygofindsomeoneelsetotagalongwithyoufortheday.”

Sheopenedthelidofherlaptop,hopingthatwouldbetheendoftheconversation.Hewas
having none of it, though, and he reached over and pushed her laptop shut before she
couldprotest.

“Comeon,tellme.”Hefrownedatherandwaggledhiseyebrows,tryingtomakeher

laughandgivein.

“Idon’twantto,”shesaidinawhinyvoice.“Don’tmakeme.”

“I’m not leaving until you tell me. I’ll even follow you home if I have to, because I

knowyouliveclose.”

“No,Icomehereinmycar.”

“I don’t think you do. I think you park it nearby, because it’s close to your house. I

suspect you live in walking distance from this café, and that’s why you spend so much
timehere,tappingawayonyourlaptopinthecorner.”

She laughed again. He had a way of making her snicker, like everything in life was

funnytohim.Hetappedhisfloppyfringeandsaid,“DetectiveLuke,atyourservice.”

“Well,Luke,IguessI’llhavetotellyoujusttoavoidyoustalkingmetomyhouse.I’m

warningyou,though,thatyouwon’tlikemeafterward,sogetyourlastlaughinnow.”

“OfcourseI’llstilllikeyou.Whatcouldyoupossiblysaythat’ssoawful?”

“Well,here’sthething.Now,don’ttakeoffence,”shepausedasshethoughtaboutthe

nicest way to tell him he didn’t meet her standards. “I made a list of my perfect guy on
NewYear’swithattributesthathehastohave.Youdon’thavethem.”

“You’re wrong. I have every attribute a woman wants.” He lifted his hand and

proceededtorattlethemoffashecountedonhisfingers.“I’mtall,womenlikethat.I’m
employed, another tick for me. I’m well-spoken, I have dirty-blonde hair and sparkling
blueeyes,whichmakesmealmosttheclassicherotype.”Hewastalkinglikeatelevision
presenter,sellinghimselftoherwitheverynewsentence.“Ilikeanimals.Letmethink…
whatelse?”Hetappedhischin.“Oh,Iknow,I’mfit.”Hesaidthoselasttwowordslikea
gangster,pushinghischininherdirectionandloweringhislids,liketherewasnoquestion
of his attractiveness to the opposite sex. He even winked at her as she started laughing
again.

“Wow—youaresomodest.Ican’tbelieveyou’restillsingle.”

“NeithercanI,frankly.Iguesstherightwomanhasn’tcomealong,yet.Now,tellme

what I’m missing from your list that describes the perfect guy. Whatever it is, I can
probablygetit.”

“Well,myperfectguyneededasenseofhumour,andyousurehavethat.”

“Toldyou.”

“But…I’mafraidthere’sonethingthatputsyouintheunsuitablecategory.”

“What’sthat?”

“You ride a pushbike.” He slid back in his seat, stunned into silence. Of everything

he’dexpectedhertosay,ridingabikewasobviouslynotoneofthem.

“Youwouldrejectthisperfectspecimenofemployed,tall, manhood because I ride a

bike?”Hisvoiceliftedattheendofhissentence,showinghisdisbelief.“BecauseIcare
fortheenvironment?”

“I told you it was awful. I decided I would get married this year, and the guy has to

haveeverythingonthelistgoingforhim.Itmadeiteasiertosaynototheoneswhoaren’t
perfect.”Shewatchedhisfaceandwishedshe’dnevertoldhim.Anysecondnow,he’dget
uptoleave.“Sorry.Ifeelbad.”

Heraisedhishandashescreweduphisface,“Hangon,hangon.Didyousayyou’ve

decided to get married this year? Like, no matter what, you’ll be married before next
year?”

“Iwasverydrunk,”sheexplained.“Mybestfriendgotengagedrightthereonthesame

night, and my mother hounds me weekly about winding up a single, old spinster. She’s
been nagging me since I was sixteen to find ‘the one.’ I can’t take it much longer, so I
decidedtoworkextrahardonmakingithappenthisyear.”

Asmilewasplayingaroundhislips,andshewassuddenlyirritatedwithhim.Howhad

hemanagedtogethertotellhimthewholestory?She’dkeptitasecretfromeveryone,
exceptthegirls,andnowshe’dblurtedeverythingouttohim.

Annoyance crept into her tone. “What are you smirking about? I know I sound

desperate.Youcanleave,now.”

“No,don’tmakemeleave—I’mhavingtoomuchfun.Iwasjustthinkingabouthow

youchosethatqualitymarriageappcalledTindertofindyourperfectman!”Helaughed
outloudthen,andsheglaredathim,willinghimtogetupandgo.

“IadmitthatitwasnotthebestideaIeverhad.”

“Arethereanyothervitalingredientsfortheperfectmanonthelist?”

Shesighedanddecidedtogetitoverwith.“Yes.”Sherolledhereyesandrattledoff

thelastfewitems.“Heneedstowantkids,behappytotravel,andbepreparedtotreatme
well.”

“Oh,youwantthechampagnelifestyle,eh?”

“No.”sheshookherhead,“that’snotitatall.Iwantsomeonewho’lllistentome,be

mypartnerinlife,andhelpoutaroundthehouse.That’snottoomuchtoask,isit?”

“Well,Ihaveallofthose.I’mperfect,exceptforthecar.”Hiseyessuddenlylitupand

heclappedhishandstogetheronce.“Iknow!I’llgetaloan,andthenyouandIcangoon
adate,okay?”

“Noway,Luke.Wearen’tdating,carornot.Youknowaboutthelist,sothat’sit.”

“Oh,comeon,that’snotfair.NowI’moutoftherunning,nomatterwhat?”

“Nomatterwhat.”Shenoddedandsatbackwithherarmscrossedoverherchest.She

wantedtoleave,butshestilldidn’twanttolethimknowhe’dbeenrightaboutherliving
nearby—morerightthanhewouldeverbelieve.

“Okay,newplan.CouldIhaveafavour?”

“Whatnow?Haven’tyouannoyedmeenough?”

“Nope.Wouldyougivemealifttothesupermarket?Ineedtodosomeshopping,and

asyoucanappreciate,thebikebasketdoesn’tholdmuch.”

“AreyoubeingfunnybecauseImentionedthestuffaboutthecar?”

“Jordan,” he said her name in a kind of whisper, and she ignored how perfect it

soundedonhislips.“WouldIdothattoyou?”

Shewasn’tsureifhewasjokingornot,butshedidneedtogotothesupermarket,soit

couldn’treallyhurt.“Okay,I’lltakeyou.Noteasingme,though.”

“Scout’shonour,”hesaid,andshewasremindedofherownpledgeonthelastdayof

thepreviousyear.

Theyleftthetableandsheledthewaytohercarwhereitwasparkedinthesidestreet.

She already knew he’d work out where she lived when they returned, but stuff it, what
differencediditmake?Theyweren’tgoingtodate,andshewasn’thavinganymoredates
inthecoffeeshop,sohewouldn’tbeabletotellanyonewhomattered.Assheturnedthe
ignitioninthecar,shetriedtoignorethegiantsmileplasteredonhisface.

She’d just pulled into the supermarket carpark when her phone rang, and she pushed

the button to put the call on speaker as she backed into her parking space. “What’s up,
Mum?”

“Oh,Jordan,it’sonedisasterafteranothertoday.Areyouabletocomeover,afterall?”

“What’shappened,Mum?”Sheturnedoffthecarandwishedshehadn’toptedtohave

thisconversationinfrontofLuke.

“Theremovalistsdidn’tshowup.Tinaisupset,sincethecleanerswillbecominginthe

morning.Weneedsomehelptomoveherthings,dear.”

“Icanhelpyouwiththeboxes,butwhowillmovethefurniture?Who’sgoingtomove

herfridge?Wecan’tpossiblydoitonourown.”

“Idon’tknow.Ifonlyyouhadaboyfriend,thiswouldallworkout.He’dhavefriends

hecouldbring,andwecouldstopworrying.”Shegroundherteethtogetherashermother
spoke.

Howdoeseverythinginlifecomebacktomehavingaboyfriend?

Luketouchedherarmandsaidquietly,“Icanhelp.”

“Who’sthat,dear?Areyouwithaman?”Hermother’sexcitedtonemadeJordanshake

herheadatLuke.

“Noone,Mum.”

He squeezed her arm and tried again. “Come on, Jordan, let me help. I’ll call my

brothersandseeiftheycancome,too.Oneofthemhasatrailerwecanfitthefurniturein
ifwemakeafewtrips.”

“Youarewithaman,dear.Hello?Hello?WhoisthatwithJordan?”

“MynameisLuke.I’mhangingupnow,soIcancallmybrothers.TellTinawe’llbe

therewithinthehour.”

“Iwill,andthankyou.”

HepushedthebuttontoendthecallasJordansatstillwithshock.“Tinalivesclose,

right?Ididn’tagreetoathreehourdriveeachway,didI?”

“You’re lucky she’s close. It would be quite a trek on your bicycle,” she growled at

him.“Whydidyouhavetoagreetothat?Now,we’llbetherealldayandallnight.”She
startedthecarashetappedanumberintohisphone.“She’llthinkwe’retogether,too,just
soyouknow.Getreadyforanexhaustingbarrageofquestions.”

“Icanhandleherquestions.Youcan’tleaveoldladiestomovetheirownthings;what

kindofapersonareyou,Jordan?”Hefrownedatherashemadethecallandaskedhis
brotherifhecouldhelp.Withinminutes,he’dorganisedthreemenandtwotrailers,and
theywereontheirway.

Thedrivewasn’tlong,butitwaslongenoughforJordantoreflecthowshe’dendedup

inthecarwithLukeonherwaytohelpTinamove.Sheglancedathimafewtimesashe
watched the scenery go by. When she had the urge to comment on how fast everything
moved when you were in a car, instead of on a bike, she bit her tongue on the snippy
remark.

ArrivingatTina’swasasawfulasshe’dexpected.Hermothercamerushingouttothe

car to grab Luke’s hand and drag him into the house. She made him a cold drink, and
withinminutes,shewasgrillinghimaboutwherethey’dmetandwhathisintentionswere.
JordangroanedassheheardPatriciawelcominghimtothefamily.

Oh,no.There’sonemoremanintheworldwhowon’tbetalkingtomeafterenduring

mymother.

She heard Luke excuse himself, and the four men set about loading couches and the

fridgeintotheirtrailers.They’devenbroughtmovingtrolleys,oldblankets,andstrapping

with them, and several times Jordan caught herself marvelling at how quickly Luke had
pulledthemtogether.

ShecarriedTina’sboxesouttothecarandcarefullystackedtheminherbootandon

herbackseat.Shewasdeterminedthattherewouldn’tbeanymovingdisasterstoday,and
shecrossedherfingersthattheboyswouldmanagetogeteverythingmovedinunscathed.
She couldn’t take hearing about how the day was a disaster because of her for another
eightyears.

Whenhercarwasfull,shewenttowheretheywerestrappingdownthechairstotell

Luke that she was going to the other house. Her mother had already given them the
addressinbetweencommentsabouthowtallandhandsomehewas,andJordanwaskeen
togetawayasquicklyasshecould.

“I’llseeyouattheotherhouse.Thankssomuchforthis,youguys,”shesmiledatthem

andsilentlythankedLukeagain.

“Wait,”hesaid,“I’mcomingwithyou.IpromisedTinaI’dbalancehertelevisionon

mylap,andyourcaristheonlyoneitwillfitin.GivemeonesecandI’llbethere.”

She got into her car and started the ignition, pushing the button to turn the air-

conditioningon.Thedayhadheatedupandsweattrickleddownherback.Shewatched
Luke carry the television toward the car. He was sweaty, too, and while most women
would have been admiring his shirt stuck to his torso, Jordan prayed he didn’t drop the
television.

***

Thetelevisionsurvived,andsodidJordan’snerves.Itwaswellaftersixo’clockbefore

shecoulddragpoorLukeoutofhermother’sgrasp.Theothermenhadlefthoursago,but
he’d stayed to connect the washing machine and the television, so Tina could use them
straightaway.Afteryetanothergrillingaboutwhenhethoughtitwasappropriatetostart
having children and an excruciating reminder to him that twins ran in their family, they
drove slowly home. Their visit to the supermarket had long since been forgotten, and
Jordancontemplatedpeanutbutterontoastandanearlynight.

“You’requiet.Youdon’thavetothinkofawaytoexcuseyourself;Iknowyou’llnever

wanttoseemeagainaftertoday.”

“Whatareyoutalkingabout?”Heseemedgenuinelyconfusedbyherwords.

“Mymother.Iusuallydon’tseemenagainaftertheyencounterher.Howmanytimes

didshewelcomeyoutothefamily,anyway?”

Helaughed,“Atleastthree,butshewasokay.”

“Areyouserious?”

“Ofcourse.Whywouldn’tIbe?”Sheglancedathim,buthedidn’tseemlikehewas

justbeingpolite.Hisanswerseemedgenuine.

“Wow.Mymotherhasmanagedtorunofffourofmyboyfriendswithonevisit.Each

ofthemwasattheseriousstage,too.Shedidn’thorrifyyou,atall?”

“Ahh…Ithinkyou’vestumbledontheanswerrightthere.I’mnotboyfriendmaterial

foryou,remember?”Hesaidthewordswithahardedge,asthoughhewasstilldisgusted
aboutthelist.

“Well,shewasn’ttoknowthat.Shesaidallthesamethingssheusuallysays,butthe

others all ran a mile. I’m convinced it’s because men think that all women turn out like
theirmothers.”

Hechortledinthedarkness,andshesmiledtoherselfasshethoughtaboutthoseawful

monthsthatcameeachtimeshebroughtaguyhome.Hepattedherkneeandshejumped.
“Jordan,youdidn’ttaketherightguyhometomeetMum.”

Shekeptdriving,andasshenearedherhouse,sherealisedshedidn’tknowwherehe

lived.“Wouldyoulikemetodropyouhome?”

“Nope.Mybikeischainedoutsidethecafé.”

“Oh,okay.”

He’sabouttodiscoverIliveupstairs.Damn!

Sheparkedthecarandtheywalkedtohisbike.Sheshuffledherfeetasheunchained

it,hopinghe’drideoffbeforeshehadtoletherselfin.Lukesurprisedher,however,once
hestood.“Areyoubusytomorrow?”

“I’mmeetingsomeoneforbrunch.”

“Wanttograbdinnerwithme?”

“Umm…maybe.”

He waved one arm and held his bike against himself with the other. “Not a date,

Scout’shonour.Dinnerbetweenfriends,okay?”

“Okay,friendsIcando.Meethere?OrIcanpickyouup.”Shegrinnedasherolledhis

eyesinthedark.Heturnedthebikeawayandshewatchedhimgo.

I’mtotallygoingtogetawaywithit!

Heswunghislegoverthebikeandsaid,“Meetyouhereatfive?”

“Soundsgood.”Shetookastepbackasherolledslowlydownthestreet.

“Oh,andJordan?”hecalledoverhisshoulder.

“Yes?”

“Youcangoupstairsnow.”

***

Brunch with Matt Cook was easy. She’d met him at her local bank and had found

herselfacceptingwhenhe’daskedifshewantedtogetcoffeeoneday.She’daddedhimto
hercalendar,andtodaywastheday.Hemadeherlaughthewholetime,withtalesofall
themeanestcustomersfromthebank.Witheverystory,sheconvincedherselfevenmore
thatshewasrighttoworkforherself.

Matt had plans for the afternoon, and he kissed her cheek and left with a promise to

takeherhikingnexttimetheycaughtup.Asshedrovehome,shedidn’tgivehimasecond
thought—shewasthinkingofdinnerwithLuke.

***

DinnerwithLukewaseasy.Oncetheromanticpossibilitieshadbeenremoved,hewas

greatcompany.TheylaughedoveraGreekmeal,andwhenhesuggestedamovie,Jordan
happilywentwithhim.Beforesheknewit,hewasorderingpizzaandhavingitdelivered
to her apartment on Monday night as they each lay on her couches. Rex was excited to
haveavisitorandhadperchedhimselfsquarelyonLuke’schest.Everytimeshe’dglanced
awayfromthetelevision,herdogwasgazingintoLuke’sface.

Itwashilarioustowatch.

March

“Thispartyisamazing,Shelly.Youryardlooksbeautiful,likethefairieshavemoved

in.”

Shelly grinned as her cousin complimented her on the party. “It was all my friend

Jordan’sdoing.ShespentalldaydecoratingwhileIhadtowork.She’sdoneabeautiful
job.”

“Shehas.”Georgelookedaroundthecrowd.“Issheasbeautifulasyouare?Ifso,I’d

liketomeether.”

Shellylaughed.“She’sbeautifulandsingle,George.I’llbesuretointroduceyoulater.”

“Thanks—I’dlikethat.”HedriftedoffwhenhesawBoydacrosstheroom,andShelly

lookedforJordansoshecouldprepareherformeetinghercousin.Shewavedasshesaw
herservingfingerfoodtoaguest.JordanputtheplateonatableandjoinedShellynear
thedoor,andtheyturnedtolookatthegueststogether.“Thankssomuchfordoingthisfor
me,Jordan.You’rethebestfriendever.”

“It’snotrouble.Thatis why I work for myself, after all. It gives me that little bit of

freedomwhenIneedit.”

“Ihavesomeoneforyoutomeetlater.Mycousin,George,issingleandeligible.He

hasajob,acar,andhe’stallerthanyou.”Shepausedasalookofdisgustsettledonher
features. “Well, you can decide for yourself if he has a nice ass—I don’t even want to
thinkaboutit.Anyway,I’llintroduceyoulater.”

ShesquealedasshesawEmilyandAndreaarrivetogether,andthefourwomenwere

quickly chattering away and catching up. Even though they’d last had dinner two nights
ago, there was always something to talk about when they were together. Shelly and
AndreaquicklytooktothedancefloorasJordancontinuedservingfoodandmakingsure
everyonehadadrink.

Thepartyhadtheusualformalities,andJordansmiledasspeechesweremadeandthe

bride and groom were toasted. The happy couple cut the cake, and Jordan rushed in to
helpserveittotheguests.ShecleaneduptheremainsandhelpedShellyputachunkof
the cake in the freezer, and then she went around with a garbage bag, cleaning up the
paperplatesandplasticcutlerythatnowlitteredeveryflatsurface.Shewasabouttostart
clearing away the dirty glasses when Shelly pulled her aside and insisted she follow her
intothekitchen.

AhandsomemanturnedfromspeakingtoBoyd,andhiseyeslitupwhentheyfellon

her. “George, this is my best friend, Jordan Parker. Jordan, meet George, my cousin.”
They shook hands and made small talk before George excused himself to go to the
bathroom.

He made her promise to stand right where she was until he returned, and Jordan

resistedtheurgetowatchhimwalkaway.Shedidn’twanttobecheckingoutmen’sbums
beforesheagreedtogoondateswiththem;afterafewminuteswithGeorge,shecould
tellthattheywouldgetalongiftheydecidedtospendmoretimetogether.

Hesoonreturnedwithadrinkforthemboth,andtheysettledintogettoknoweach

other.Heaskedforhernumberandshewatchedashetappeditintohisphone.Thenshe
joinedthepartyandherfriendsonthedancefloor.

“Georgeisn’tdancingwithyou?”

“Iguessnot.Icameoutherebeforehecouldask,Isuppose.”

“Didyougivehimyournumber?Didheaskyouout?”

“Notexactly.He’sawayforthenextfewweekswithwork,sowe’regoingtocatchup

whenhe’shome.Hehasmynumberinhisphone.”

Shelly squealed with delight, and Jordan could hear it over the music the DJ was

playing—theDJshe’dbeenstudiouslyignoringsincethemomenthe’darrivedtosetup
hisgearearlierthisafternoon.

Fishhadmadenosecretthathewaspleasedtoseeherwhenshe’dopenedthedoorto

Shelly’shome.She’dhelpedhimcarryhisequipmentinside,andthenhe’drequestedher
assistancetosetitup.She’dexcusedherselfassoonasshecould,buthe’dmadesurehe
suggestedshehangaroundafterward,sotheycould“reconnect.”She’dhadtoremindhim
thatneitherofthemrememberedthelasttimetogetherandshewasn’tinterested.He’dhad
thehidetosuggestthatshejustneededacoupleofdrinksandshe’dchangehermind!

Andreadancedpastheronthedancefloor,andshequicklylookedawayfromtheman

playing the music. She wasn’t interested, but gee, he was gorgeous. What she wouldn’t
giveforevenasmallmemoryofthatnight.

“Hey, Jordan, why didn’t you bring that guy, Richard, to the party?” Andrea cut into

hertrainofthoughtand,asalways,didn’tmessaroundwithpleasantries.

“Iaskedhim,buthesaidhewasbusy.”

“Damn. He sounded like he might have been worth a bit more of your time. I have

someoneatworkIwantyoutomeet.”

“Richardcouldstillbeworthit,andwe’rehavingdinnernextweek.Youcangivemy

numbertoyourworkmate,ifyou’dlike.”

Andreagrinnedatheranddancedawayasshenoddedherapproval.Thedancefloor

had become crowded, and Jordan turned to find George stepping up behind her. She
smiledandtheydancedafewsongstogether.

The rest of the night passed in a blur, and it was a happy Jordan who drove herself

homeandsnuggledinbedwithRexintheearlyhoursofthemorning.

***

Aweeklater,shesatinahotellobbyinthecitywithAndrea’sfriendfromwork.Pierre

turnedouttobesmooth,andJordanwasn’tcertaintheywouldbeagoodmatch,butshe
stuck it out, anyway. When he told her he had a dog, her heart sank as she realised he
tickedalltheboxesonthelist.

HowlongdoIhavetowaitforamanwhoiseverythingIwantandwhoIactuallylike

asmorethanafriend?

Theyweresharingaplateoftapasandtalkingabouttheirworkwhenshenoticedhe

was eating faster. She was doing all the talking while he was shovelling food into his
mouth.Shedidn’tmisshissurreptitiousglancesathiswatch,either.Somethingwasgoing
on.Jordanstoppedtalkingtoforcehimtostopeatingandspeak,andhereyeswandered
overhisshoulderasawomansatupatthebar.

“Ally? Ally Hastings, is that you?” she couldn’t help but ask of the woman, who

seemedsofamiliar.

“Yes,that’sme.Well,mymaidenname.”Shelookedconfused.“I’msorry,I—”

“Sorry.” She slid off her stool and patted Pierre on the shoulder as a look of panic

appearedonhisface.“I’mJordanParkerfromMissBishop’sbiologyclass.”

“Oh,Jordan,Ididn’trecogniseyou.Youlookamazing!”

“Thanks!You,too.Whatareyoudoinghere?”

“Oh,it’slame,butIhaveablinddate.”Sheglancedatherwatch,“I’mtwentyminutes

early,soIhavealittletimetochat.”

A light went off in Jordan’s head, and she had the sneaking suspicion that Pierre’s

food-shovellingandAlly’sunexpectedarrivalweresomehowlinked.“Howfunny.That’s
whyIwashere,too.”Onlyonewaytofindout.“Pierre,turnaround.Thisismyoldfriend
from school.” She smirked as he turned, and she noted the sweat that had recently
appearedonhisforehead.“Ally,Pierre.Pierre,thisisAlly.”

Ifitwasn’tsoterriblytypicalofmostofherdatingefforts,itwouldhavebeencomical.

Allyrealisedatjusttherightmomentthatherdate’snamewasPierre,too.Theonlyone
whodidn’tlookconfusedwasPierre.Sweatwaspouringoffhimashelookedfromone
womantotheotherandmeeklyheldouthishand.

Jordancouldn’tlethimsufferfortoolong,especiallysinceshefeltnosparkbetween

them.“Relax,Pierre,I’montoyou.Ally,Ihavetogo,butI’dlovetocatchupsomeother
time.CanIgetyournumber?”Herfriendstaredattheman,herlipscompressing,asshe
gaveJordanherphonenumber.“Thanks,lovie.”SheleanedintowhisperinAlly’sear,
“Givehimachance.He’salovelyguy,justnotforme.”

She waved as she headed across the bar and out into the hotel reception. Another

womanblockedherexitasshewavedtogetthemaîtred’sattention,andJordancackledas
she heard her say, “Excuse me, sir, I’m here for a date and I’m early. Would you mind
keepinganeyeoutforMrPierreDuPontwhenhearrives?I’mgoingtotakeaseatatthe

bar.”

PoorPierre—hewasinforaroughnight.

***

“It’scompletelymyfault.”

“Whatdoyoumean?Howdoyoublameyourselfforasituationlikethis?”

“ThisisexactlywhatIdidinJanuarywiththeguysfromTinder.Ilinedthemupone

by one, an hour of my precious time allocated to each. That’s exactly what Pierre did,
excepthegotcaughtout.Thisiskarma—nothingmoreandnothingless.Icanhardlybe
annoyedaboutit,nowthattheshoeisontheotherfoot.”

“Iguess.”Andreasoundedlikeshestillneededconvincing.“I’mgoingtokickhisass

whenIseehimatwork.”

Jordanlaughedasshethoughtoftheexpressiononhisfacewhenhe’dheardhersay

Ally’s name. She still wished she’d thought of a way to hang around and see what
happenedwiththethirdwoman.“Hey,maybeyoucanaskhimhowitwent.Wouldn’titbe
hilariousifAllyknewthethirdwoman?”

“Itwouldbekarmaforhim.Ican’tbelievehewouldbesostupid.”

“I’mchalkingituptothecrazydatinglifeofJordanParker.Hejustgotcaughtupin

mywash.”ShepushedherfoodaroundonherplateasAndreaglaredatherbowlofsoup.

“I’m still going to kill him. Anyway, we’re not here to talk about him. It’s your

birthdaytomorrow,whatarewedoing?”

“Somethingwithnomenanywhereclosebyplease.Maybedinner?Whydon’tweask

ShannonandSarahtocometoo?”Shepickedupherphonetoscrollthroughthecontacts.
“What’sSarah’slastnameagain?”

“Flannery.AndShannon’sisMolloyincaseyou’veforgottenthattoo.”

“Iknow,Iknow.Ihavetheirnumbers.YouaskthegirlsandI’llgetShannonandSarah

tocome.We’llhaveagirl’snightout.Ifwecouldrefrainfromtalkingaboutdatingthat
would be awesome. I don’t want anyone else to know about my pathetic need to get
married.”

“It’s not pathetic, it’s fun. So far I’m enjoying your year of dating disasters and it’s

onlyMarch.Imaginewhatfunthereisstilltocome.”

“Stop! You’ll curse me. I’m putting good vibes out into the universe. A great man is

goingtotakemeoutnextandyou’llbepickingoutyournextbridesmaiddressbeforeyou
canblink.”

April

On April Fool’s Day, Luke appeared early at Jordan’s door, holding flowers and

sportingalopsidedgrin.Theblooddrainedfromherfaceassheworriedaboutthewords
thatwouldfallfromhislips.

“Hey,”hegrinned,“Igottheseforyou.”

“Thanks.”Shesteppedasidetolethimin,“What’stheoccasion?”

“Nothing.IthoughtI’dplayanAprilFool’sjokeonyou.Icanseebyyourwhiteface

and strained look that it worked spectacularly well.” He plonked himself down on her
couchandreachedfortheremotecontrol.

Rexwaggedhistailandjumpedontohischesttoresumestaringintohisface.Thiswas

their usual position on a Saturday now, if neither of them had plans. Jordan pushed the
door closed and went to find a vase. She put her nose in the flowers and inhaled their
scent,andthenplacedtheminthemiddleofherdiningtable.Shestood,watchingLuke
andherbelovedpetstaringintoeachother’seyes,shookherhead,andtookupherown
positionontheothercouch.

“Ihavetogooutatlunchtime.”

“Plans?”

“Hikingwiththebankteller.”

“Didn’tyouonlymeethimonceforcoffee?”

“Yeah,afewweeksago.Idon’tfeellikegoing,buttheappsaysImust.”

“Ahh…themysteriousandall-knowingapp.Ifitsaysyouhavetogo,thenyoumust,

andwewon’tevenconsiderthathecouldbetakingyouhikingsohecankillyouandhide
yourbody.Howdoeshefareonthelist?”

“Ticksalltheboxes,ofcourse.Theyalldo.”Hervoicewasmiserable,andsheflinched

whenhelaughed.“TheonlythingwrongwithhimisheaskedmenottobringRex.”

“Everyoneticksalltheboxes,exceptforme.Whadyaknow.”Shethrewhercushionat

himandfocussedonthetelevision.“Nodateslatertonight?”

“Nope.Richardisawayforanothertwoweeks.”

“Youtwoaregettingprettyserious,huh?”

“It depends on what you mean by ‘serious.’ We’ve been on a few dates. I’m not too

sureifwe’reseriousornot.Hehasn’tmentionedteamingupexclusively,soIguesswe’re
notthatclose.”

“Yousounddisappointed.”Heglancedather,andRextooktheopportunitytoleanin

andsniffhisear.

“Iam,butI’mnotsureifI’mdisappointedspecificallyaboutRichard,orifit’sabout

the whole thing in general. It’s April, and I’ve only met one decent guy on all of those
crappydates.”

“Youstillhaveeightmonthsleft—plentyoftime.Yousaid,yourself,thatthebankguy

was nice. Shelly and Boyd had barely met this time last year and now they’re tying the
knot.”

“You’reright,”shesighed.Shewastiredofmeetingnewpeople,andthethoughtofher

date later today filled her with dread. She’d been excited initially to go hiking with the
drop-deadgorgeoustellerfromthebank.They’dmadetheirdateamonthago,though,and
she’dfeltalotmoreconfidentthen.Nowshejustwantedtolieonthecouchalldayand
watchmovieswithLuke.

Ateleveno’clock,shedraggedherselfoffthecouchandslippedintotheshower.She

washed her hair and tried to get enthusiastic about meeting Matt again. He’d sent her a
coupleoftextsoverthelastcoupleofweeks,butbetweenRichard,him,andGeorge,there
waswaytoomuchtextinggoingon.

Her phone beeped multiple times a day, and God forbid she should start an actual

conversationwithmorethanoneofthem.Itwasonlyamatteroftimebeforeshesentthe
wrongreplytothewrongperson.Whileitwouldmakeafunnystoryforthegirls,itwasa
scenarioshe’dratheravoid.Shegotdressedinthebathroom,consciousthatLukewasstill
inherlounge,sprawledonthecouchwithherdog.Sometimesitfeltlikehespentmore
timeherethanshedid.

Afterdiggingaroundintheclosetforherhikingboots,Jordanputthemonandlaced

themuptightly.Itwaswarmoutside,soshepackedahatandalightraincoat,incasethe
weather turned. She didn’t know where they were going hiking—he’d only told her to
makesuresheworepantsthatcoveredherlegs.Nowthatshewasdressedandshowered,
shefeltalittlemoreenthusiasticabouttheouting.

Shepulledasmallbackpackfromhercupboardandwenttothemainroomtotransfer

herbelongingsintoit.Rexlookedupather,andhiseyesseemedtoaccuseherofleaving
him.Heblinked,though,andwentbacktowatchingLuke’sface.

ThedogthinksLuketicksalltheboxes.Jeez,don’tevenstartthinkingthosethoughts,

Jordan.

She and Luke had come to an understanding all those months ago: there was never

goingtobeanythingromanticbetweenthem.

***

Twohoursintothehikeupthehill,Jordanstoppedtoadmirethescenery.Matthadled

theway,andthey’dclimbedandscrambledtheirwaytothetop,wherehe’dassuredher
therewasaspectacularlookout.They’dfinallyarrived,anditwasasbreathtakingashe’d

promised.Thefarmlandofthesurroundingareasstretchedasfarastheeyecouldseeto
theirleft.Iftheymovedtwentyfeetorsoandlookedintheotherdirection,talltreesmade
upaheavyforestthatseemedtogoallthewaytothehorizon.Shewasamazedthatsuch
diversescenerywasjustafewhours’drivefromthecity.

Theysatonabenchatthelookout,andJordanpulledabottleofwaterfromherpack.

Mattdrankoneofhisownandhandedherabanana,whichshegratefullydevouredbefore
wrappingthepeelinplasticandpackingitawaytotakehome.Whentheyhadcaughttheir
breath,Mattsuggestedtheygodownadifferentwaythanthey’dcomeup.Theysetoffto
picktheirwaythroughanunmarkedpathasheofferedherhishandeverynowandthen.

“What do you want to do for our third date?” Matt asked as they followed the path

throughthetrees.

“I’mnot sure. Haveyou ever takena cooking class? Thatcould be afun thing to do

together.”

“I haven’t, but you’re right: that sounds like fun. I’ll check some out when we get

homeandletyouknow.”

“Great.I’lllookforwardtoit.”TheshadefromthetreesmeantJordanquicklycooled

downoncetheywereoutofthesun.They’dbeenwalkingforhours,now,andsheglanced
atthesunasitstarteditsdescent.BeforeshecouldaskMattifhecouldcheckthetimeon
his phone, though, her pants leg snagged on a bush. “Ooh,” she said, “I’m stuck on
somethingsharp.”

Mattdoubledbackandpulledthefabricofherpantsawayfromtheundergrowth.He

smiledupatherbeforehestood.“Luckyyouworelongpants—thoseblackberriescanbe
nasty if they catch your skin.” He stepped away and she glanced down at what had
snaggedher.

“Blackberries?”shemutteredtoherselfashereyessearchedtoseeiftherewasfruit.

She thought back to the supermarket. Raspberries were in season at the moment, so

maybeblackberrieswere,too.Usingherpack,shepushedasideaspikybranch,andthere
shefoundahugepatchofsucculentfruit.ShelookeduptoshowMatt,buthewastakinga
photographwithhiscamerapointedupintothetrees.Notsureifhewasphotographinga
bird,shesaidnothing,insteadleaningintopicksomeberriesforbothofthem.

Shepulledhershirtoutofherpantsandmadealittlebaskettoputtheberriesinasshe

carefully picked them one by one. When she had about twenty fat berries, she quietly
walked to where Matt was still taking photographs. She munched on a berry while she
waitedforhimtofinish.

Heputthecameradownandglancedatherwithasmile.Ashenoticedherchewing,

however,hisfacefellandhetookastepaway.“Whatareyoudoing?”

“Ipickedsomeberriesforus.Here,tryone.They’resosweet.”Sheheldoutherhand

withafewberriesinitasshewatchedtherevulsionspreadacrosshisexpression.Without
warning,heslappedherhandawayandtheberriesflewintotheunderbrush.

“Whatareyoudoing?”hecried.“I’mnoteatingthingsfromtheforestlikethat.Did

youevenwashthem?OhmyGod,you’reeatingthem!”Hisover-the-topreactionstartled
her,andshelethert-shirtsagtowardtheground.Atthelastminute,sherealisedwhatshe
wasdoingandshepulledituptosavewhatwasleftofthefruit.

“Idon’tunderstand.Whyareyousoupset?”

“Thoseberriescouldhaveanythingonthem.Ananimalcouldhavepeedonthem,for

allyouknow.Youshouldn’teatanyfruitorvegetableunlessyouwashitfirst.”

“Well,thatruleisbecausefarmersusepesticides,whichweshouldn’tingest.Theseare

growingwild,Idon’timagine—”

Heraisedhishandandstaggeredawayfromher,cuttingoffhersentence.“No,justno.

Ican’tbelieveyouputthatputridthingintoyourmouth!OhmyGod,that’ssogross.”He
glanced back at her as he stalked down the path, and she followed close behind. “I was
goingtokissyouwhenwegothome,butthere’snowaythat’shappening,now,Icantell
you—atleastnotuntilyoucancleanyourteeth.”

Sheshookherheadasshetrailedalongbehindhim.

He’sassumingalotsayingheplannedtokissme.Doesn’theknowthatIhaveasayin

that,too?

The afternoon had gone from being a pleasant walk in nice company to her looking

around, worrying that she might have to run from him at any moment. She considered
eatingtherestoftheberriesjusttoannoyhim,buthisridiculousreaction,alongwiththe
fact that he’d driven them here today, made her quietly drop them in a pile as they
continuedtheirreturntothecar.

Whentheyreachedthecarpark,hekeptglancingatthefrontofhershirt,likeshewas

carrying radioactive contamination on her clothes. The big purple stains on her stomach
were a constant reminder for him of what she’d done. They drove home in silence, and
whenhepulledupoutsideherhouse,shequicklyopenedthedoor.

Hishandonherarmstilledher.“I’msorrythisdidn’tworkout,Jordan.”

“I’mnot,Matt.Wearetwoverydifferentpeople.”

“Weare,indeed.I’llseeyouaround.”

“I don’t think you will, actually. I’ll be changing banks.” With that, she got out and

slammedthedoorwithoutaglancebehindher.

***

“Whatthehellhappenedtoyou?”Lukegrabbedhershouldersandtookinherunruly

appearanceandthestainsalloverherwhitet-shirt.“Areyouokay?”

“I’mfine.Chalkituptoanotherdatewithamadman.Letmegetashower,andthen

I’llregaleyouwiththedetails.Please,canyouordersomedinner?”

His face softened as he watched her retreating figure, and he looked around for his

phonetogetthemsomefood.Tonight,he’dlistentoherstoryandlaughaboutitwithher.
Ifheheardthewrongwords,though,he’dbepayingashortvisittohisfriendlybankteller
inthemorning.Hebetternothaveharmedahaironherhead!

***

Asthecarpulledintothedriveway,Jordantriedtoignorethegoldenarchesglowingat

herfromacrossthecarpark.Surelythiswasn’twheretheirdatewasabouttotakeplace?
She’dwaitedawholemonthforittocomearoundonthecalendar.

“Hungry?”sheasked,tryingherbesttospeakinanormaltone.

“Yes!Wearehavingdinner,afterall.”Georgesaidwithoutatraceofirony.Heparked

thecarandcamearoundtoherdoorasshethoughtofthetheatreticketsshe’dpassedup
withEmilytonight.

Whyistheuniversetestingmelikethis?

Shepastedonasmileandlethimtakeherhandasheusheredherinside.Agroupof

teenagers rushed to the door in front of them, screaming that they were going to order
first. Jordan pulled her wrap tighter around her shoulders and wished she’d worn her
jeans.Withhersparklydressandhighheels,shewaswildlyoverdressed.

Theyapproachedthecounter,andGeorgeturnedtoherwithawaveofhishand.“What

wouldyoulike?Youcanhavethepickofthestand!”hejokedassheglancedattheboard
flashingupallthepossiblemenuoptions.

“I’ll have whatever you have. I like everything here.” She grinned at him, expecting

himtomakesomecomment,buthesmiledhappilyandturnedtoplacetheirorder.She
movedtoaseatinaboothandsighedasthetelevisioninthecornerblaredoutthelocal
news.

WhatamIdoinghere?WhydidIagreetosayyestoeverystupidinvitationthisyear?

I’mgoingtokillShelly.

Georgereturnedwiththeirmealsonatray,andtheyeachtooktheiritems.AsJordan

sipped her soft drink, she glanced at an elderly man at a table across the room. He’d
spilledhisfriesontothefloor,andsheliftedfromherseattogotohelphimwhenshesaw
himpushthemacrossthefloorwithhisshoe.Shesatdownandwatched,fascinated,ashe
pushedthemintoapileunderhistableandthenleaneddowntopickthemupinonego.
Hepiledthemontohistray,andsheexpectedhimtoreturntothecountertogetafresh
pack.Instead,hewentbacktoreadingthenewspaperandatethefriesonebyonefromhis
tray.

OhmyGod.

Whileshe’dbeenwatchingtheoldman,Georgehadlaunchedintoadiscussionabout

anupcomingcasehewasworkingon.Afamilyweretakingtheirrelativestocourtover
their deceased grandfather’s will, and he was spewing out all the confidential details of
their appeal as he munched on his burger. She tried to listen, but she wasn’t at all
interestedinwhathewassaying.Theyhadn’tevengottentoknoweachotheranymore
tonightandhewasalreadytellingherthingsthatheshouldhavebeenkeepingprivate.She
ateherburgeralittlefaster,hopingshe’dbeabletoescapesoon.Afterall,howlongcould
youstretchoutadinnerdateatMcDonalds?

The group of rowdy teenagers were laughing and shouting at their table. Two were

playing an online game on their phones and swearing loudly every time their character
died,whiletheothersweredippingtheirfriesintotheiricecreamandfeedingeachother
themostdisgustingbits.Jordanwatchedasoneofthempulledthepicklesfromhisburger
and threw them, so they stuck to the ceiling. They looked to be about sixteen. The
restaurantmanagersoonappeared,informingthemthattheywouldhavetoquietdownor
leave.Theymeeklyagreedtobequietandthenpromptlystartedgigglingthemomenthe
walkedaway.

Twotablesaway,afamilysat,havingananimateddiscussion.Theirmealwasbarely

touched as the two boys watched their mother spit vitriol about her ex-husband, their
father.Shewasdemandingtoknowwhytheyhadtoldhimthatshe’dbeenawayforthe
weekend,whiletheyoungestsatwithtearsinhiseyes.Foreveryanswertheygave,she
had three more reasons why they were wrong and why her privacy was so important to
her.Aroundthetimeshestartedtellingthemthattheywouldbechangingschools,astheir
fatherwasn’tpayingenoughmaintenance,JordansnappedherheadbacktoGeorge,who
wasstilldroningonaboutappellatelaw.He’dbarelytakenabreathandhadn’tnoticedher
examiningtheotherpatronsaroundher.

He finished the last bite of his burger and cleared away their rubbish and tray. She

sighed,relievedthattheycouldleavenow,buthereturnedtothetableandtookherhands
inhis,staringdeeplyintohereyesandmakinghergiggleatherowndiscomfort.

“So,you’lldropmehome,now?”

“What?No,Ithoughtwecouldtalk.Youknow,gettoknoweachother.”Heglancedat

hiswatchandfrowned.“Idoneedtomakeonestoponthewayhome,though.I’mdue
therearoundten,whichgivesusaboutfifteenminutesbeforeweneedtoleave.”Heturned
hisattentiontoherasshemarvelledathimmakingappointmentswhenhe’daskedherout
onadate.

“I’mreadytogonow,ifyouwanttodropmeofffirst?Thatway,you’llbefreetherest

ofthenight.”

“No,themeetingisjustinthenextsuburb.Wantdessertwhilewewait?”

HowcanIencouragehimtotakemehomefirstwithoutseeminglikeacow?

“Umm…okay.Howaboutanicecream—oneofthoselittleones?”

“Surething,”hesaid,andhegrinnedasheswaggereduptothecounter.

Whentheywerefinishedeating,itwasalmostten,andGeorgeledthewaytothecar.

TheblueMustangwasabsolutelybeautiful,butrightnowJordancurseditassheclipped
up her belt—this car was the reason she was here tonight. Andrea had insisted it was a
signthatShelly’scousincouldbebetterthantheothers.

Howwrongcouldshehavebeen?

“So,wherearewegoing?”

“Well,Idon’twantyoutothinkI’mweird,butI’veactuallysoldthiscar.SinceIwas

goingtobeintheneighbourhoodwithyou,Iagreedtodothechangeovertonight.I’llsell
itandthenwe’llgetataxihome.”

Hereyeswidened,andshelookedathimsideways.Surprisedidn’tevencoverit;her

mouthopened,butnowordscameout.Shewasfastbeingturnedofftheideaofmarrying
any man, if this is how they all behaved. “Couldn’t you have done it during the day, or
later?Didyouhavetobringmealong?”

“Sorry.I’mtoobusyduringthedaywithworkandeverything.”Hestartedthecarand

pulledupanaddressinhisGPS.“It’llonlytakeafewminutes,andthenwecankickon.”

There’llbenobloodykickingon!

Thinkingmurderousthoughts,Jordankeptherheadturnedtothewindowfortheentire

journey. The streets and houses slipped by unnoticed as she seethed about him dragging
hertoastupidappointmentandexpectingthemtostillbetalkingafterward.Theydrove
into an industrial area, and as they pulled up next to a black SUV, she suddenly noticed
thattherewerenostreetlightsinthissection.Itwasdark,andallhersenseswereshouting
atherthatthiswaswrong.Whosoldacarlateatnightinadarkenedpartofthecityto
strangers?

Herheadsnappedaround.“Whatthehellarewedoinghere,George?”

“Shhh…afewminutesandwe’llbesafelyonourwayhome.”

“Fuck.”Thewordsslippedoutofhermouthashegotoutofthecarandwenttostand

infrontoftheheadlightshe’dlefton.

Likeascenestraightoutofabig-budgetgangsterfilm,twomengotoutoftheblack

car.Astheycametostandintheglareoftheheadlights,Jordancouldseetheybothwore
blacksuits—well-cutblacksuits.Oneofthem—thedriver—waslargerthantheother,and
hebentdownandpeeredatherasshesatinthepassengerseat.

Ohshit.Ohshit.Ohshit.

HemotionedwithhisarmandGeorgecamearoundtohersideofthecarandopened

thedoor.Sheglaredupathim,hereyesfulloffear,andheheldouthishand.“Theywant
youtogetout.”

“What?Why?”

“Theyliketoknowthere’snoonehidinginthecar.”

“Whatdoesthatfuckingmean?”Hegrabbedherhandandsheresistedforamoment

beforegatheringhernerveandsteppingfromthecar.Sheheldherhandbagtightlyinfront
ofher,sonoonecouldseethatherhandswereshaking.Georgeledhertothefrontofthe
car,andshestoppedatthecornerofthebonnet,refusingtotakeanotherstepforward.He
shruggedandletherstandthereashereturnedtothefront.

ThedriveroftheSUVlookedherupanddowninhersparklypartydressandsnorted.

“Name,”hegrowled,andJordanlookedhelplesslyatGeorge.

“HernameisMeganCoppadge.”Georgespokeforher,assheremainedsilent.

The driver examined her more closely, then he looked at George and barked out two

words,“Shedrives.”

George raised his hands in front of him. “Whatever you want, man, but she doesn’t

haveadriver’slicence.It’sprobablybetterifwesitintheback.”

“Thattrue?”Thegiantwaslookingatheragain.

“Yes,” she stammered, “I never finished my lessons.” She smiled at him, hoping she

wasputtingonagoodactoflookingprettyandvacant—playingdumbseemedtobethe
safestwayforward.

Helookedatherforamomentashenarrowedhiseyes,andherthoughtsturnedtohow

she’dfeltthefirsttimeshehadevergottenbehindthewheelofacar.Ifheplannedtotest
her,she’dneedtobeconvincing.Thisnightwasbecomingscarierbythemoment.

His eyes snapped closed, and when he opened them, he’d lost interest in her. He

addressedGeorgeagain,“Fine.Getintheback.Notawordoutofeitherofyou.”Jordan’s
eyeswidenedasGeorgeusheredherintotherearofthecarhe’dalreadytoldherhewas
selling.She had noidea what wasgoing on, but sheknew it wasbad. Whatever he was
involvedinwasserious,andnowshewasinvolved,too.

Thedoorsclosed,andGeorgesqueezedherhandinthedarkness.Shewantedtopunch

himintheface,butshewastooterrifiedtomoveormakeasound.Shesqueezedhishand
tightlyandimaginedtheblackeyeshe’dgivehimiftheymanagedtogetoutofthisalive.

Theothercarpulledoutontothestreet,andtheyfollowedclosebehind.Thegiantwas

drivingtheMustang,andhedidn’tsayawordtothemasheskilfullyfollowedthecarin
front. After a few minutes, they turned into another darkened street. Halfway down the
street,theyslowed,andshewatchedasagaragedoorrosetotheirright.Onceitwashigh
enough for the SUV to slip under, both cars entered and slowly drove down an inclined
driveway.Jordanturnedtolookasthegaragedoorslidsilentlyclosedbehindthem,and
herstomachrolledoverinthedark.Thiswasworsethanshecouldhaveimagined.

The darkness gave way to a large garage brightly lit from overhead fluorescents.

Everywhere Jordan looked, there were expensive cars: BMWs, Mercedes, Porsches, and
evenaFerrari.Theypassedarowofclassiccars,liketheMustangtheyweretravellingin,
and the driver pulled up in front of those and ordered them both out of the car. Jordan
pressed herself into the shadows, trying to make herself as unobtrusive as possible—not
an easy feat when you’re wearing a black and silver dress and silver shoes made for

dancing.

ShestaredhardatthegroundandforcedherselfnottolookupasGeorgewascalled

overtoseveralmenstandinginagroup.

Don’t pee yourself. Look at the ground. Don’t make yourself a problem. Don’t pee

yourself.You’regoingtogetoutofthisalive.Donotpeeyourself!

She kept up a steady trail of chatter in her head, trying to convince herself that this

wouldturnoutokay,andshesqueezedhereyesshutandtriedtoblockoutanysoundof
their conversation. She couldn’t hear any specific words, anyway, since they were
murmuring while they completed their transaction. Someone grabbed her arm, and she
almostscreamedassheexpectedtoseethetalldriverdragginghertoherdeath.

It was only George, though, with a tight warning look on his face. He tugged her

toward a doorway to her left, and she kept her eyes forward as she followed him,
desperatetogetoutofthisplaceinonepiece.

When they burst out into the street, George quickly called a taxi as they stood in the

shadows. He tried to apologise to her, but she was so angry and scared that she ignored
everyword.

“Pleasestoptalking.Ijustwanttogethome.Ithoughtyouweremuchnicerthanthis

whenwemetatShelly’sparty.”

“AreyousureIcan’ttakeyouforadrinktoapologise?”

“Nope.No,thankyou.Iwanttogethome,lockthefrontdoor,andfeelsafeagain.This

wasareallysillyplaceforyoutobringme.”

“Ididn’tbringyouhere—theydid.”Hehadthenervetotrytodefendhimself.

“You,”sheraisedhervoiceassheturnedonhim,“draggedmeintoallofthisandgave

themafakenameforme,too.Iwouldn’tbehereifitwasn’tforyou.Youareonehundred
percentresponsibleforeverythingthathappenedtonight.Ihopeitwasworthriskingour
livesfor.”

“Oh,itwas.”Hegrinnedandpattedhisjacketpocket,whichnowsportedasuspicious

bulge.“Hencemyinvitationtokickontonight.Wecanmakeitmemorable,ifyou’llstick
withme.IwasonceinlovewithawomannamedMeganCoppadge,bytheway.Itwasa
complimentthatIchosethatnameforyou.”

She snorted and turned away as the lights from the taxi lit up the end of the street.

“You’re fucking insane. I have enough memories of this night to last me a lifetime. I
guaranteethatnoneofmyfuturememorieswillincludeyou.”

NoteventhetemptationofofficiallybeingrelatedtoShellywouldconvincehertosee

Georgeagain.

May

Jordan and her friends planned a big night out on the first weekend in May. She’d

invitedLuke,becauseshefeltsorryforhim,lyinghomealoneonhercouchwithonlyher
poochforcompany.Shewasn’tsurprisedhewassingle—shehadn’tknownhimtogoona
dateonetimesinceshe’dmethim.

RichardcontactedheronSaturdaymorningandinvitedherfordinner,butsheinvited

himoutwithhergroup,instead.Itwouldbeagoodtesttoseeiftheotherslikedhimas
muchasshedid.

“Hey,it’sgreattoseeyou.”Hekissedheronthecheekandgaveheratighthugwhen

he walked through the door of the bar. She had to close her eyes, so she could ignore
AndreaandEmilymakingkissingsignsbehindhisback.

“You, too. Come and meet my friends.” She introduced him around her usual social

circle.Emilyhadbroughtadatetonight,too,andRichardshookhandswithCooperasthe
twomenwereintroduced.

RichardaskedJordantodance,andheheldherhandastheymadetheirwaytothearea

in front of the DJ’s box. She didn’t dare look up to see who was on tonight; she could
imagineFishupthere,staringdownatherasshedancedwithRichard.

“Thisisourthirddate,youknow.”Hehadtoraisehisvoicebecauseofthemusic.

“Yeah, does that seem weird to you? We met in early January—I’m not sure we’re

rightforeachother,ifwe’veonlycaughtupthreetimesinfivemonths.”

“It’sbecauseIhavetotravelsomuchforwork.I’dliketoseeyoumoreoften.Luckily

wekeepintouchbytext.”

“Yes,lucky.”

Whenaslowsongcameon,theyreturnedtothebar,anditwasn’tlongbeforetheboys

were challenging each other to tequila shots. Jordan stayed well clear of the shots,
drinkingonlywine.Shehadn’tbeendrunksinceNewYear’sEveandshewantedtokeep
itthatway.Everytimeshethoughtofherhorrifichangoverthenextdayandtheshockof
wakingupnexttoahotstrangernamedFish,sheconsideredgivingupdrinkingforlife.

Themen,however,werekeentooutdoeachother.Richard,Boyd,Cooper,andLuke

lined up to each take their turn as the girls watched on. Every so often, someone would
giveashoutbeforetheydownedthenextone,andthegirlswouldlaughastheywatched
himchokeontheheatofthealcohol.Afterward,they’dkeepchattingwhilethenextone
gothimselfready.

Afterthreeshots,Lukedeclaredthathewasoutoftherunningasshotchampionand

cametositnexttoJordan.Shepattedhislegsympatheticallyandletoutaloudwhoopfor
Richard,whowasgettingreadytodownwhatmusthavebeenhissixth.Heslammedhis
glassonthebarandshookhisheadasheletoutashout.

Lukerolledhiseyesandleanedinclosetoher.“Guessthere’llbenogettingluckyfor

youtonight—notwithhim,atleast.”

“Stopit,you.Ididn’tcomeheretogetluckywithRichard.”

“Well,that’slucky.”Helaughedatallthetimesthey’dsaidtheword“lucky,”andshe

shook her head at him. The three shots had gone straight to his head, and she was
interestedtoseethathewasnowdrinkingwater.

Richard had disappeared in the direction of the men’s room after downing the last

drink,andhewasgoneforquiteawhile.Jordanwasengrossedinadiscussionaboutthe
validity of the list with Luke when she glanced over his shoulder and saw Richard
reappear.Shefrownedasshetriedtoworkoutwhatwasdifferentabouthim,andshetilted
herheadandstareduntilLukestoppedtalkingandturnedaroundtolook,too.

Richard swayed his way across the room, obviously heavily affected by the tequila.

Aroundhisneck,wornproudlylikeanecklace,was,toherabsolutehorror,atoiletseat.
The bar was old, and Jordan recognised the wood grain seat immediately. How he’d
removed it was a mystery, and why he thought it was a good idea to wear it around his
neckwasevenmorepuzzling.

The other men howled with laughter and clapped him on the back. Even Luke

snickeredbesideher,butJordancouldn’tthinkofanything,excepthowmanygermsand
Godknewwhatelsemighthavebeenonthatseat.Shejoinedthegirlsinsquealingashe
camecloseranddemandedhereturntothetoiletandtakeitoffimmediately.Helooked
surprisedattheirreaction,buthelurchedtowardthebathroomtodoashewastold.

Whenhereappeared,hewasmostperplexedwhenJordanrefusedtositnexttohimor

kisshimgoodbyewhenitcametimetoleave.

***

Thenextday,Jordan’sphonerangatthreeintheafternoon.Shelookedatthenameand

groaned as she answered it. “Hi, Richard,” she said in a much brighter voice than she
wantedto.

“I’mcallingtoapologise.”

“Apologise for what?” she asked, feigning ignorance. Maybe he was calling about

somethingelseanddidn’tevenrememberwrappingaurine-coveredtoiletseataroundhis
headthefirsttimehe’dhadtheopportunitytomeetherfriends.

“Youknowwhatfor.Thetoiletseatwasn’tasfunnyasIthoughtitwouldbe.”

“Youthoughtitwouldbefunny?”

“Well,mytequila-addledbrainthoughtitwouldbe.”

“Ihopeyou’veshoweredandscrubbedyourselffromheadtotoe.”

He laughed, “I have—it was the first thing I did as soon as I woke up. I would have

calledearlier,butIwasscouringmyfaceandneck.Ibarelyhaveanyskinleft.”

It was her turn to laugh, and she giggled as she remembered his confused look last

night when they’d sent him back to the bathroom. “That was truly the grossest thing I
thinkI’veeverseen.”

“Icanimagine.IhopeyourfriendsspeaktomethenexttimeIseethem.”

“Obviously you’re not particularly germ-phobic. That’s a good thing to know,” she

said,thinkingabouthowMatt,thebankteller,wouldhavereactedtothesightofthattoilet
seatnearRichard’sface.

“Actually, I’m a lot funnier about germs than my performance last night would have

you believe, but in some tiny corner of my brain, I remember thinking that the tequila
wouldkillallthegerms.”

***

“Well,Ihaveunusualneeds.”

“Really?Thatsoundsterrifying.”

“It’sreallynot,butwomendofreakoutwhenItellthem.”

“Well, you’ve come this far, so you might as well spit it out.” Jordan waited to hear

whatfreshhorrorherlatestdatewasabouttoinflict.

“Ihaveacertainquirk.”

“Aquirk?”

“Yes.Ilikethingsdonetomeinthebedroom.”

“Oh.”Shewaitedforhimtogoon,herfingeritchingtodisconnectthecallbyaccident.

“It’smainstreamandallthat,thesedays.”

“AreyoutalkingaboutFiftyShades-typeofstuff?Ifyou’renot,Ihavenoideawhere

thisisgoing.”

“Ahh… you know about that. Good.” He seemed to perk up on the other end of the

phone.“Yes,Idoenjoyasmallamountofspanking.Ihopethatwon’tworkagainstme,
sinceI’mtotallynormalineveryotherway.”

“Well, I guess we all have things that we enjoy.” She was frowning on her end,

desperatetogetoffthephoneandhopinghe’dworkitout,somehow.

“So,howaboutItakeyoutoagameofbaseball?It’sadatethat’salittlemoreunusual

thantheafootygame,orthemovies.”

Unusuallikeyou,I’mguessing.

He’daskedhernow,ofcourse,sotherewasnobackingoutofit.“Okay.When?”

“I’llgetticketsforSaturdayafternoonifthatsuitsyou?”

“Soundsgood.CanIbringafriendwithme?”

“Ofcourse.I’llgetthreeticketsandmeetyouatthestadiumatone.I’llsendyouthe

detailsassoonastheticketsarebooked.

“Okay, David. Thanks, I’ll see you then.” She hung up the phone and worried about

whatshe’dagreedto.Heseemedniceenough,hadasteadyjobasastockbroker,andhad
beennothingbutpolitetoher.

Itcan’tbeanyworsethantheguywhotookmesharkdiving.Howmuchcangowrong

atabaseballgame?

***

Emily,Cooper,andJordanarrivedafewminutesearlyandwaitedoutsidetheentrance

tothestadium.Andreahadbeggedoffcoming,soshe’dhadtoconvinceEmilythatshe
couldn’t go alone. It seemed that no one wanted to be the third wheel on a date to the
baseball,soEmilyhadaskedCoopertocomealong,too,andDavidhadbeenmorethan
happytograbanextraticket.

David arrived promptly at one o’clock, and he kissed Jordan on the cheek. He was

handsome with chiselled cheekbones, and he joked with them all about them being
featuredonthekiss-camastheymadetheirwaytowardthegates.Itwasawarmday,and
the blue sky created a perfect backdrop for the game. Once they were seated, David
disappearedtogethimselfsomefood,sincetheothershadeatenonthewaytothegame.

Jordan’sphonebeeped,andshesmiledasshesawatextfromLuke.

IHEARYOU’REONANOTHERDATE.HOPETHERE’SNOTOILETSEATSIN

SIGHT!

She grinned and slipped it into her pocket without answering. It beeped again a

moment later, and she sighed at his insistence on intruding on her date. It wasn’t him,
though,butDavidaskinghertocometothetopofthestairstohelphimout.

Whathasheboughtthathecouldpossiblyneedhelpwith?

She climbed the stairs and saw him standing at the top. He’d removed his sweatshirt

and tied it around his waist. He must have bought himself some kind of supporter gear,
becausetherewasasplashofredaroundhisneck.Asshegotcloser,herheartsankand
hereyestoldhersomethingshedidn’twanttobelieve.

He’dboughttwoextralongliquoriceropes,Godknewwherefrom,andhadfashioned

oneintoacollarthatnowsatsnuglyaroundhisneck.Thesecondonehe’dattachedtothe
firstasakindofleash.Asshestoppedinfrontofhim,hesmiledandhandedhertheleash.
She was so shocked that she put out her hand and took it, waiting to hear what she was
expectedtodonext.

“Walkmetoourseats?”

“Umm… okay,” she said slowly, imagining the look on Emily’s face when she got

backwithhernewpetintow.

He moved past her without an ounce of hesitation, and she followed close behind,

holdingtheleash,butwantingtheearthtoswallowherup.ShecaughtEmily’seyeasthey
got closer to their seats, and her friend frowned at her. She shook her head and raised a
fingertoherlips.Thiswasweird,butshedidn’twanttoembarrassDavidanymorethan
hewasabouttobe.

Theyhadseatsatthefrontrowoftheirsection,andDavideagerlytookhisseatnextto

her.Shewasn’tsurewhethertoholdtheleashordropit,butwhatheindicatednextnearly
madeherfallofftheedgeofherseat.Hewantedhertotiehimtotherailinfront.

OhGod!

Biting her lip to keep in the hysterical laugh that threatened to escape, she did as he

wanted.Inherpocket,shefeltherphonevibrateandknewitwasprobablyLukestirring
her even more. She wanted to pull her phone out and take a photo for him, since he’d
never believe this had really happened. Emily and Cooper would vouch for her sanity
afterward,though.

Thegamestarted,andJordanfoundthatshedidenjoyit.Thecrowdcheeredandeach

round passed quickly. There were quite a few breaks where the camera went into the
crowd and showed some of the most ardent supporters. At half time, there was a break,
and the dreaded Kiss-Cam came out. Jordan felt a mounting sense of dread as they
watchedthescreen.Thisdaycouldn’tgetanyweirder;theKiss-Camwouldonlytopoff
themostawkwardexperienceofherlife.

Luckily, the camera settled on a couple three seats to their left, and Jordan could

breathe a long sigh of relief. It wasn’t over yet, though. At another long break, the
cameramanfinallydumpedherinitandfocussedonherandDavidsittingtogetherinthe
stands.Hiscollarandleashwereunmistakeable,andthecrowdwentcrazy.Heraisedhis
arms,notatallashamedofwhathe’daskedhertodo.

At full time, when they spilled out into the carpark, Jordan abandoned Emily and

Cooperandmadeabreakforhercar—shecouldn’triskDavidaskingheronanotherdate.

June

“Whatdoyouthink?”

“It’s beautiful. I love the detail on the skirt.” Jordan touched the delicate lace on the

whitedressShellywastryingon.Herfingersranacrossthebeadingandsequinsandshe
glanceduptoseeherfriendsmilingdownather.

“Shouldwebuyyourdresswhilewe’rehere?”sheasked.

“Absolutely not. There’s been quite enough talk this year about my attempt to get

married.Wearefocussingonehundredpercentonyoutoday.WhenIhavearingonmy
finger,we’llthinkaboutmydress.Doyouwanttotryanother?”

Shellygiggledasshesteppedoffthepodium.“Iwanttotryeverydamndressinthis

store!”

“Youshallhaveyourwish,then,”Jordanlaughedasthesalesassistantsteppedforward

tostartthelongtaskofunbuttoningthefiftytinybuttonsthatheldthedresstightlyclosed.

“Howaboutthisone?Theyhaveitinyoursize.”Emilycarriedabeautifuldresswitha

fulltulleskirtoverforherperusal.“Sizeten,”shesaidwistfully.“IwishIwasasizeten.”

“You’re a twelve, Emily—that’s so much better than being a perfect ten. It’s off the

charts, babe.” Andrea joked from her seat on the lounge. She hadn’t joined in the dress
selection, saying too many cooks would spoil the dish. Jordan suspected she was saving
herstrongestopinionsforthebridesmaiddresses,andshehopedtheywouldagreeonthe
right one, when the time came. Disagreeing with Andrea when her heart was set on
somethingwasalwaysbad.

Shelly slipped into the dressing room and talked to them through the door. “Do you

girlswanttobringdatestothewedding?”

“Not me,” Emily said. “Cooper and I didn’t work out, so I’m planning to snag a

groomsman.Tellmethere’sonethat’ssingle.”

Shelly laughed as she slipped the next dress over her head. “Boyd has chosen his

supportteam,andIcanconfirmthattwoofthemaresingle.Hopefullytheystillwillbeby
October.”

“That’s me done, then.” Emily turned to Jordan as she rifled through the dress rack.

“How about you? I know it could be different by then, but if you chose right now, who
wouldyoubring?”

“Iwouldn’tbringanyone.Bridesmaidsaremeanttohangoutatthebridaltable.Adate

wouldfeelweirdsittingatatablewithpeopletheydon’tknow.”

“YoucouldbringLuke.Heknowsallofus.”

Jordan turned and gave her a frown before going back to the dresses in front of her.

“LukeandIarejustfriends.Invitinghimtoaweddinggivesthewrongimpression.”

“Well, maybe Andrea could ask him as her date.” Another frown from Jordan had

EmilysmirkingtoherselfassheturnedawayandrolledhereyesatAndrea.“Howabout
it,Andrea?You’renottaken.GetLuketocomewithyou,andwecanhavethepleasureof
hiscompany.”Andreasatupstraightandclearedherthroat.Sheopenedhermouth,butno
soundcameout.HerawkwardstancehadEmilynarrowinghereyes.“Oh,ladies,Ithink
AndreaHiltonhassomethingtosharewithusall.”

Jordanturnedaroundandlookedather,waitingfortheannouncement.Shellystepped

outofthechangingroomandmotionedforEmilytozipupherdress.Theyallwatched
Andrea,waiting.

Shelookedawkward,likeherwordshadcaughtinherthroat.Itwasn’tlikehertobe

lostforwords,andsuddenlyshehadtheirfullattention.Eventheshopassistanthadanear
cocked in their direction, although she pretended she was adding up figures on a
calculator.

“Outwithit,girlie,”Emilysaidquietly,andAndreaclosedhereyesforasecond.

“Iwon’tbebringingaboyfriendtothewedding,”sheannounced,andbythelookon

herface,shehopedthatwouldbetheendofit.Sheknewbetter,ofcourse,andwhenthe
silencestretchedoutintoseconds,shestumbledon.“Iwanttobringmyfriend,Lori.”

“LoriwantstocometoShelly’swedding?Won’tshebeboredthere,likeLukewould

be,sinceshedoesn’tknowanyone?”Emilyasked.

“Well,Iguessshecouldbe.”Andrea’sfacewaspale,andJordancrossedtheroomto

sitnexttoheronthecouch.

“Did Emily miss a vital part of this announcement, Andrea? Are you and Lori Byrd

together?”

“Weare.”Shelookedlikeshemightcry—behaviourveryunlikeAndrea.

“Ohman,”Emilyshrieked.“Whydidn’tyoutellussooner?”Sherushedtothecouch

and pulled Andrea up so she could hug her. Shelly hiked up her thick skirt and stepped
intothehug,too.Jordanstoodandwrappedherarmsaroundthethreeofthemastheyall
talkedandlaughedatonce.

“I’msorry,youguys.Ididn’tknowwhattosay.”Andreagrinnedatthemwhenthey

finally pulled apart. “I’ve wanted to tell you for a while. I was hoping you’d just notice
andIwouldn’thavetosayaword.”

“Well,wemighthavenoticed,ifyou’deverbroughtheroutwithus.I’msohappyfor

you.”Jordanhuggedheragain,carefulnottosteponShelly’slongdress.

“Thanks.I’mgladthesecretisout.”

Shellylaughedasshetookslidingstepsbacktothemirror,stillclutchingthelayersof

tulle.“Whatasecretitis!”

“At least you don’t have to worry about me stealing your wedding thunder,” she

noddedtowardJordan,whorolledhereyes.“Ican’tlegallygetmarriedinAustralia,soit’s
offthetable.”

“That sucks. But now we all have a valid reason to go to the next marriage equality

march in the city,” Emily mused as she watched Shelly in the mirror. “I look great in
rainbowcolours.”

They all laughed at her never-ending vanity before returning their full attention to

Shellyandhersearchforadress.

***

Twoweekslater,Jordanarrivedfordinnertodiscoverthatherfriendshadgangedup

onher.

“We’vecalledyouhereforanintervention.”

“Anintervention?Whatthehellfor?”

“Wethinkyou’recheatingabit.”Emilytookasipofherdrinkandraisedhereyebrows

atJordan.“You’renotstickingtothelist.”

“Yes,Iam.IcheatedabitatthestartonTinder,butthat’sbecausethoseguyswereall

gross.I’vebeenoutwitheveryonewho’saskedmeout,andit’sbeenexhausting,actually.
Ishouldbeallowedtocheatmore!”Sheglaredatherthreefriendsastheysatoppositeher
at the table. They’d angled themselves into an us versus them configuration, which she
haddefinitelynoticed.Shealmostfeltlikeshewasatajobinterview,thewaytheywere
cross-examiningher.

Shellyspokeupnext,“It’sJune,Jordan.Ifyou’regettingmarriedbeforetheendofthis

year, you have to lift your game. The rules said you had to go on two decent dates a
month,andyouhaven’t.”

“Oh,forGod’ssake.Imadetherules,soIcanchangethem.I’vebeenoutwithloads

ofmen.”

“Yes,butyouwentoutwithRichardseveraltimesandthenyoucountedthatasadate.

Thatwasn’tintheoriginalassignment,younglady.”Andreanodded,asthoughtherules
wereanimportantfeatureonthescaleofnationalsecurity.

“So,ifImeetsomeoneanditbecomesserious,Ihavetokeepdatingalltheotherguys,

too?Thisisbecomingstupid.”

“No,youhavetoputabitofpressureonhimtoseeifit’sgoingtobeserious.Ifnot,

you need to ditch him and start from scratch. Time is running out to get a rock on your
finger.”

She pressed her lips into a tight line and sipped her drink. “I don’t want to pressure

him.Wetexteveryday,andIthinkit’sserious,butIhaveonlybeenoutwithhimthree

timesinperson—andoneofthosetimes,hedidthatthingthatmustneverbespokenof.”

Theyalllaughedatthat.Ithadbeenthetalkingpointoftheirgroup,untilshe’dbegged

themtonevermentionitagain.Sincethen,theyonlymadeonlyveiledreferencestothat
nightinthebar.

“Alright,sodon’tpressurehim,butdon’tstoplookingforMrRight,either.Wedon’t

thinkRichardistheone.”

“Youcouldberight.WhereamIgoingtostartlookingnext,though?”

“I’lltakeyouout,”thewaiterfillingtheirglassesinterruptedastheyalllookedupat

himwithlooksofsurprise.“What?Isthattooforward?”

Jordan was the first to recover. She was getting good at handling awkward dating

moments.“It’snottooforward.Ihavearesolutiontosayyestoallinvitations,sowhere
willwego?”

He grinned and continued pouring their drinks. “I didn’t think you’d say yes—that

mademyday.Writeyournumberdown,andI’llcallyouafterworktomakeadate.My
name’s Geoffrey.” His eyes sparkled, and it seemed that, finally, this was it: a normal,
everyday guy that she could get to know. She handed him her number, and he almost
skippedawayfromthetable.

“Well,youmadehisday,”Emilyrepeated.“I’veneverseensomeonegofromboredto

thrilledinsuchashortspaceoftime.”

“He could be fun,” Shelly mused. “In the meantime, though, you need to jump on

eHarmonyandseeifyoucanbookthreeextradatesinquicksuccession.I’mstartingto
worrythatI’llbetheonlyoneinthisgroupwhoevergetsmarried.”Shellylookedatthem
each in turn before her eyes settled on Andrea. “You’re off the hook, honey, since your
marriageisn’tlegal,yet.”Shesmiled,andAndrearaisedherglassinsalute.“Therestof
youbettergetonit,though.Jordan,here,isprovingthatittakesalotmorethananapp,a
list,andadesirenottofailatlife’sbiggestchallenge!”

Theyallraisedtheirglassesandclinkedthem.Jordantookthebiggestsipandpushed

herdrinktotheside.“Okay,nowthatthat’soutoftheway,canwegettowhatIthought
wereallycameherefor?Wehaveaweddingtoplan,ladies!”

***

Assoonasshegothome,Jordandidwhatthegirlshadsuggested:shepulledthedating

siteuponhercomputerandloggedontofindlove…again.

Shescrolledthroughtheprofilesthatthesitesaidmatchedwithhersandselectedthree

potentialmen,messagedeachofthem,andmadeadate.Whatnooneneededtoknowwas
that she made the dates for September and October, so that hopefully by then, she
wouldn’tevenneedthemandcouldcancel.

Shebangedthelaptoplidshutandthenwenttobed.Rexjumpedupandsnuggledin

behindherkneesbeforehecommencedhisusualsnoring.Asshelayawakeinthedark,
she thought about Richard and what to do about him. When she finally nodded off to
sleep,shewasnoclosertomakingadecision.

I’llrunitbyLuketomorrow.He’llknowwhattodo.

July

Jordan sat in the stands, eating the hot dog and sipping the Coke that Geoffrey had

boughtforher.He’dsoundedalittleembarrassedwhenhe’daskedtomakeadatewithher
for three o’clock. When she asked about the odd time, he’d confessed that he was
competinginatrackmeetfirst.She’dlosthermindforamomentandsuggestedshetag
alongtowatchhimrace.He’dseemedhappyaboutthat,andnowhereshewas.

His first race had gone well and he’d won his heat. He finished third in the second

qualifier,whichmeanthe’dberunningintworacesinthefinals.Jordanhadbeenkeenon
athletics in high school, so she was happy to watch the various competitors across the
field. A proud mum sat next to her, screaming encouragement at her two teenagers who
werealsocompeting,andJordanchattedtoherbetweenraces.

AsGeoffreylinedupforhisfirstfinal,hewavedathersittinginthecrowd,andshe

wavedback.Hissmilewashuge,andifhecouldwinonenthusiasmalone,thisracewould
behis.Heslippedoffhistracksuitpantsandwarmedupwiththeotherracers.Hiscolours
were red, and he’d told her it was because red was rumoured to go faster. She probably
laughedalittletoomuchatthat,sincehe’dfrownedashewalkedaway.

Theylinedupandthegunwentoff.Therewasaburstofspeed,andtheneachrunner

foundhisstride.Jordanleanedforward,cheeringasloudlyasthewomannexttoher,and
Geoffreyfinishedsecond.Hewasallsmilesandwavedagainashecooleddown.There
wasalittlewhilebetweenhisraces,andhemotionedhertocomedowntothefield.She
pickedherwayalongthestandandwenttojoinhim.

“Hey,second!Whatagreateffort.”

“Thanks,Jordan,”hebeamedather.“I’mgladyoudon’tseemcompletelybored.I’ll

admitthatIwasworriedaboutyoucomingalongincaseyouwantedtogostraighthome.”

“Notatall—I’mhavingfun.I’malsosittingnexttoawomanwhocancheer,knit,talk,

andeatsimultaneously.She’shadmelaughingallafternoon.”

“Awesome. I’d better get back, but keep a close eye on me this race. This one, I’m

comingfirst!”Hehigh-fivedherandshefeltalittlesillyasshemadeherwaytoherseat.

Thewomanshe’dbeensittingwithwaspackingupherbag.“Oh,areyouleaving?”

“No,Iwaswaitingforyou.Yourguyandmykidarebothinthenextrace.Igotusa

seat closer to the front, since some people I know are leaving. Are you coming?” She
headedoffandJordanquicklyfollowed.

They settled in the seats, which turned out to be in the front row. Jordan could lean

overtheconcreteandwavetoGeoffreyifhesearchedthestandforher.Shedidn’twant
him to think she’d gone home; he wouldn’t race well if he was worried over where she
went.

Thecompetitorswerecalledagain,andonceagaintheyslippedofftheirjumpersand

longpantsastheyshooktheirlimbsaroundtowarmup.Someofthempracticedthestart
position,andsoonitwastimeforthemtolineuponthetrack.Thisracewasthelongestof
theday:threefulllapsofthefieldwererequiredbeforeawinnerwouldbecrowned.No
handicapsorstaggeredstartsexisted—thefirstpastthefinishlinewasthewinner.

Her neighbour, who had since introduced herself as Aracelis, commented on

Geoffrey’s red shoes, red shorts, and red shirt. “I guess we’ll see if he can go faster,”
Jordan said, sure that others were thinking the same about his colour-coordinated outfit.
“Whichoneisyourson?”

Shepointedoutatallboywearingablueshirt.“Thatonethere,withVestalprintedon

thebackofhisshirt.Wenamedourcompanyafterourselves,sohegetshissponsorname
andhisownnameonhisshirtinonego.”Shegrinnedattheiringenuity.“Ialwayswanted
a school shirt that said Aracelis Vestal on the back, but my mum said there was no
guaranteeI’dmarrymyhighschoolboyfriend.Didn’tIshowher?”

Asthestartinggunwentoff,thetenmenintheraceleapedintothefield.Theysprinted

outoftheblocks,andeachtriedtogettheupperhand.Jordancheeredwiththecrowdas
they came around the last bend that would have them complete their first lap. Geoffrey
wasoutinfront,andshehopedhe’dmanagetostaythere.Theirafternoondatecouldonly
beenhancedifhemanagedtohaveagoodresultatthistrackmeet.

On the second lap, the group was still close together, and Geoffrey had slipped into

second. She watched his face as he focussed on the track and blocked out everyone and
everything around him. She screamed as loudly as she could, hoping he might hear her
andbemotivatedtorunevenfaster.Araceliswasscreamingrightalongbesideherasher
sonwascomingfourth.Theylaughedtogether,oncethemenhadgonepastandprepared
themselvesforthehomestraight.

They were leaning forward and watching the racers fly across the back of the track

when Aracelis pointed at Geoffrey. “What the hell is that?” she shouted with an
incredulouslaugh.

“What?”

“Lookathispants!”Severalpeoplenexttothemheardherandsuddenlyeveryonewas

laughingandpointing.Jordancouldhardlybelievehereyes.

Geoffreywasrunningasfastasever.Hewasstillfocussedonthetrackinfrontofhim,

not glancing away for a second, determination clear on his face. Unfortunately, his red
shorts appeared to have lost a piece of their elastic, or perhaps they’d always been too
loose.Eitherway,Geoffrey’smanhoodwasjigglinglooseasheran!

Jordancoveredhermouth,unsureofwhethertolaughorkeepcheeringforhimtowin.

Shewentwiththecheering,butitwasnowwithanenormousgrinonherfaceasAracelis
andmostofthestandlaughedandscreamed.TheywereallbehindGeoffrey,now,wanting
himtotakethewin,sincehewasdisplayingsuchfocusinthefaceoftheescapeactthat
had just occurred from the leg of his shorts. As he tore past them, now in the lead, his
penisdidahappybounceortwo,andhepassedthefinishlinefirst.

The crowd went crazy, leaping to their feet and screaming for “the guy in red” as he

quickly tucked his treasure inside his pants. The medal presentation ceremony was the
bestattendedofthedayaseveryonetriedtogetaphotographofhim.Theylefttogether
sometimelater,andJordansworehisfacewasstillasredashisshorts.

***

“What are you doing home so early?” Luke watched with interest as she banged the

frontdoorbehindher.

“I’ll tell you in a minute. It’s honestly too good not to share. Before we get to that,

though,whendidyoustartcallingmyapartmenthome?”

He grinned at her and pointed at Rex, sitting on his chest as usual. “When your dog

adoptedmethatfirstday.”Heranhishandacrosshisfurrycompanionandlaughedashis
eyesflickedtothemoviehe’dstarted.

“Jeez.I’mgoingtostartchargingyourent.”

“Nah.Youhavetopayrentifyousleepsomewhere,andI’venevergottennearyour

bed.”

“Youandtherestofthemalepopulationoftheworld,”shejokedasshefellontothe

othercouch.

“So,comeon,Ididn’texpectyouhomeforhours.Whathappened?”

“Oh,thepoorguy.Iwenttothetrackwithhim,andallwasgoingwell.Hehadabitof

success,andImetanicewomaninthecrowd.Onthelastrace,though,hehadawardrobe
malfunction,andheletitruintherestofourafternoon.”

Lukelookedconfused.“Awardrobemalfunction?Idon’tevenknowwhatthatmeans

foraman.”

“Same as it means for a woman,” she laughed as she put her feet up on the armrest.

“Let’sjustsaythatI,alongwithafewhundredspectators,gotasneakpeakofeverything
Geoffreyhastooffer.”

“Oh,wow.Youdidn’t?”

“Oh, yes, I did. It was hilarious, and he still won his race. He couldn’t get over the

embarrassment,though,andheleftourmealearly.Anotheropportunitylost,Iguess.”

“Maybe.Youdon’twantanyonewho’soverlysensitive,though,doyou?Iwouldhave

laughedmyassoffandinvitedyoutocheckoutthesamethinginprivate.”

Shethrewhercushionathim—notforthefirsttimesincehe’dtakentolyingonher

couch.“Yes,youprobablywouldhave.”

“Yousaythatlikeit’sabadthing.”

“It’snotsomethingIeverthinkabout.”

“Maybeyoushould,”hesaidquietly.

Shelookedoverathimtoseehewaswatchingher.“We’vebeenthroughthisalready,

Luke.You’renothim.I’msorry.”

“Oh,right,Ikeepforgettingaboutthebikething.IassumeGeoffreyhadacar?”

Shesighedandturnedherattentiontothetelevision.“Youknowhedid.Ihadtogeta

taxihome,though,sinceheleftinahurry.”

“Youshouldhavecalledme.Iwouldhavecomeandgottenyou.”

Shegotupfromthecouchandbashedhimwithherothercushion.“Ifyoupickedme

uponthatbike,we’dstillbeonourwayhometomorrow.Nowstopbaitingmeandtellme
whatyouwantmetocookfordinner.”

***

“We’reallgoingtowatchBoydplayfootballonSaturday.DoyouandLukewantto

come?” Jordan sat on the kitchen bench, watching Luke flick through her television
channels.

Doesthatmanevergoanywhereordoanythingwithanyonebesidesme?Whendidwe

startgettinginvitedplacesasacouple?

“You’llhavetoaskhim.”

“Come on, Jordan, I can hear the idiot box going. You never watch it, which means

he’sthere.”Andreawaswaytoosmartforher.

“Luke,doyouwanttogotoBoyd’sfootygameonSaturday?”shecalledtohim.

“Yep,loveto.CanIridewithyou?”

Shenoddedathimandrolledhereyesashemadesteeringwheelsignswithhishands.

“We’llbethere.Whattime?”

“Startsattwo.Seeyouthen.”ShehungupandwatchedasLukehelpedhimselftoa

drink from her fridge. She would have been annoyed, except he had stocked the fridge
with groceries and drinks yesterday, and she couldn’t very well tell him off for drinking
hisowndrink.

“Wantmetocookdinnerforus?”heaskedasheleanedagainstthebench.

“I’dlovethat.I’mtiredofeatingoutallthetime.”

Hewavedhishandinthedirectionoftheloungeroomandsheslippedoffthebenchto

leavehimtoit.She’dchangedintoherpyjamasbythetimedinnerwasready,andtheysat
atthetabletoeattheirmeal.RexfoldedhimselfoverLuke’sfeet,andshemadefacesat
him as she chewed. “You’re a traitor, dog. Next, you’ll want to go home with him at

night.”

“Oh,he’salreadyhadatriptomyhouse.”

“Whendidthathappen?”

“Ihadafewerrandstorunyesterday,andhewasdueforawalk.So,Ikilledtwobirds

withonestone:wedidmyjobsandhegothiswalkandarideinthebasketonmybike.
Helovedeverysecondofit.”Hesmiledatherassheshookherhead.

She couldn’t remember a time she’d seen Luke without that wide smile on his face.

She’dgottenusedtohimbeingherewhenevershegothome,andhisgrinwascontagious.
Italwayscheeredheruptotalkaboutherlatestawfuldateandwhattheyweregoingto
havefordinner.

“Atleastoneofyoulovesme,Jordan.”

***

The football game was a disaster. The day was overcast with heavy rain threatening,

andsomeoftheopposingteamhadn’tshownup.Byhalftime,thegirlswereboredand
Andreaannouncedshewasgoinghome.TheotherthreewomendecidedtogotoEmily’s
house to watch scary movies, since she lived three streets away. Jordan offered to drive
Lukehomefirst,butheinsistedthathewouldgetaliftwithoneoftheothermen,andshe
leftfeelingslightlyguilty.

We’renotacouple.Wedon’thavetoleavetogetherjustbecausewearrivedtogether.

Shestoppedatthesupermarkettogetchipsanddipstoshare,andafewminuteslater,

she was knocking on Emily’s door where Cape Fear was already cued up on the DVD
playerandreadytostart.

“I’veneverseenthismovie,”Jordancommented.

“Oh,it’ssogood.Terrifyinginparts.RobertDeNiroisamazing.”

Theyputtheirsnacksonthecoffeetable,pulledthecurtains,andsettledintowatch.

JordanandEmilycurleduponthecouch,whileShellystretchedoutoncushionsonthe
floor.

The movie had only been playing for twenty minutes when the phone rang. Emily

reachedforitwithouttakinghereyesfromthescreen,“Hello?Hello?”Shehungupthe
phoneandshruggedatJordanbeforereturningherattentiontothescreen.

A few minutes later, the same scenario was replayed. The phone rang and Emily

answered, but no one was there. The third time the phone rang, she’d had enough. She
paused the movie and insisted Jordan call her home number from her mobile; she
answeredthephoneandcouldhearJordanperfectly.Theylaughednervouslyandstarted
themovieagain,andJordannoticedEmily’sfingersdiggingintothecouch,whichmade

hersmile.

She’salreadyseenthismovieandshe’sstilljumpy!

Thephonecontinuedtoringwithnooneontheotherend.Shellytriedtolaughitoff,

butthecallshadshakenthem.“We’regrownwomen.Whyarewefreakingoutlikethis?”

“It’s weird, that’s all. Remember, you guys will go home later, and I’ll have to stay

hereonmyownwiththecreepycalls.”

“How about I call Boyd?” Shelly checked the time on her phone. “He should be

finishedplaying,bynow.I’llgethimtocomeover,sowecanfinishthismoviewithout
cryinglikeschoolgirls!”Theylaughedasshemadethecall,andEmilyswitchedonthe
lightandrefilledtheirdrinks.Boydarrivedtenminuteslater,andtheysettleddownagain
withthelightoffandthemovieturneduploud.

As they watched Robert DeNiro’s character slide under a car and strap himself to it,

theyheardrunningfootstepsoutsideEmily’sloungeroomwindow.Thegirlswerewide-
eyedasBoydlaughedattheirnervousness.“Relax,ladies.It’sjustkidsplayingoutside.”
Asthewordslefthismouth,afiststartedpoundingloudlyonthefrontdoorandthegirls
screamed.“Oh,stuffthis.Emily,doyouhaveabaseballbatoratyreiron?”

“What?”shecried,lookinglikeshemightstartsobbing.“WhywouldIhaveabaseball

bat?”

“Justsomethingheavy,incaseIneedsomekindofweapon.Maybeyouriron?”

“An iron is not a weapon, Boyd,” Jordan chimed in as she stood in the tiny space

lookingterrified.

“I’m calling the police!” Shelly had her mobile out, and Boyd put his arm over the

screen.

“They’ve gone now.” He looked around the room, trying to calm the nerves of three

franticwomen.“Comeon,it’smorethanlikelykids.”

“Howdoyouexplainthehang-ups,then?”

“Coincidence.Comeon,sitdownandlet’sfinishthemovie.Nothingwillhappenwhile

I’mhere.”

Thethreeofthemlaughednervously,andEmilygotupandputherirononthecoffee

tableasBoydnoddedhisapprovalather.ShesatnexttoJordanandlookedatherwide-
eyed.TheremotewasaimedattheTVandthemovierestarted,buttheirheartwasn’tinit,
anymore. Jordan spent the next thirty minutes nervously glancing at the door as they
watchedthefamilyonthescreenlurchfromoneterrortothenext.

Shewasalmostrelaxedagainwhentherewasanotherloudbangonthedoor.Thethree

womenjumpedtotheirfeetasBoydputuphishandtoshushthem.Hepickeduptheiron
andwalkedsilentlytowardthedoor.Heopeneditslowlyandpeekedthroughtheopening
asthedoorswungopen.Aloudcrack—almostasloudasagunshot—rangout,andBoyd
fellbackfromthedoor.

With the front door wide open and Boyd flailing behind the wall, they couldn’t see

whatwashappening.Therewasathud,soundsofascuffleandamoan,andthenShelly
started screaming. Her panic was infectious, and with every bang from the doorway, the
threewomenscreamedagain.Jordanlookedaroundforaweaponofherownasherheart
hammeredinherchest.

Whatthehelldowedo?

ShegrabbedShelly’sphonefromwhereithadfallentothefloorandtriedtocallthe

emergencynumber.Shehadtodialandcancelseveraltimes,however,asherhandswere
shakingsobadlythatthephonekeptregisteringthewrongnumber.Asshewastryingfor
thethirdtime,anewsoundmadeitswayintoherconsciousness.

Someonewaslaughing.

Whatthe…?

The laughter increased, and she recognised Boyd’s voice as he giggled. She lowered

thephoneandhandedittoShelly,whowascryingwhilebeingcomfortedbyEmily.She
strodeforwardandshovedthefrontdoorclosed,soshecouldlookintothehallway.There
shesawasightthattookherbreathaway.

Boyd, Luke, and a man she didn’t know were doubled over, howling with laughter.

Theywereholdingeachotherupandgigglinglikechildren,andtearsrolleddownLuke’s
cheeks as he snickered. She stood there, open-mouthed, until Boyd managed to get
himselfundercontrolenoughtospeak.

“Oh my God, Jordan, you should have seen your face!” She leaned forward and

slappedhimovertheheadwithheropenhand,whichsetthethreeofthemoffagain.

Behindher,ShellyandEmilyhadfinallyrealisedthiswasapracticaljoke.Shellystood

inshock,hertear-stainedfaceslowlychangingintoamaskoffury.“Whatthefuck,Boyd?
Whatwereyouthinking?Wenearlycalledthepolice!Whatifoneofushadhitoneofyou
withthedamniron?”

“Oh,I’msorry,baby.Luketoldusyou’dcomeheretowatchahorrormovie,andwe

couldn’tresistfreakingyouout.”Hestruggledtocatchhisbreathashewasovercomeby
laughteragain.

“So the calls were you, too?” Emily asked. Relief that she wouldn’t have to worry

aboutthemfortherestofthenightshowedplainlyonherface.

“Yep,”Lukegiggled.“Youfellrightintoourtrap,too.Wehadabetabouthowlongit

wouldbebeforeoneofourphonesrang.”HelookedatJordan,“I’mabitoffendedyou
wouldn’tcallmeinyourhourofneed.”

“Fuck you, Luke. I wouldn’t call you if you were the last man on Earth.” Jordan

returnedtothecouchtocollectherhandbag.

“I’mprettysureI’llnevercallyouagain,either,Boyd.”Shellychimedinwithasniff.

“Howcouldyoudothis?”Sheturnedaway,andherealisedhowupsetshewas.Hewas
suddenlyofferinghersoothingwords,whereaminuteagohe’dbeenlaughing.

LuketriedthesamewithJordan,butshewashavingnoneofhisapologies.“Getoutof

myway.I’mgoinghome.”

“Oh,okay.”Heturnedandhigh-fivedBoyd.“Seeyou,man.I’vegottago,too.”

“Ohnoyoufuckingdon’t.I’mnottakingyouwithme.Yousaidyou’dgetalift,and

that’sexactlywhatyou’regoingtodo.”

“Comeon,Jordan,itwasajoke.”

“It wasn’t funny. I thought Shelly was going to have a heart attack, and she thought

Boydhadbeenbashedorkilled.Nowmove.I’mleaving.”SheturnedtoEmily,“Callme
if you’re scared later and you need to come to my place. Don’t let these idiots stay too
long.”Thenshesweptoutthedoorwaytohercar.

August

“You’regoingonadatewithsomebodyyoumetonFacebook?”

“Iam.Heaskedmeoutlastweek.”

“I’m impressed that you’re being so brave. I don’t know if I could have followed

throughlikeyouhave.We’reeightmonthsinandyou’restillsayingyes.”Emilysmiledas
shesippedhermilkshakethroughapinkstraw.“Ihavetoadmit,though,whenyousaid
you were going to date like crazy and find a husband in a year, I thought you would be
havingmuchmoresex.”

Jordanlaughedloudly,andthewomanatthenexttableshiftedinherseat.“Ikindof

thought so, too. I had images of sleeping with a few guys to work out who was most
compatiblewithme.Ithasn’tturnedoutlikethat,atall,though.I’vehadmoredatesand
lesssexthanever!TheoneencounterthatIdidhave,Ican’tremember!TheonlyoneI’d
evenconsidersleepingwithnowisRichard,andIwon’tseehimagainuntilnextweek.”
Shestirredhercoffeeandwatchedtheblackliquidswirlaround.

“Are you talking to Luke, yet?” Emily broached the subject they’d all been avoiding

wheneverJordanwasaround.

“Barely. He keeps trying to come over, but I make sure I’m not home. It’s lucky I

didn’t give him a key, like I’d planned.” She didn’t meet Emily’s eyes as she continued
stirringhercoffee.

“ShellyandBoydmadeup.”

“That’s good. She’s been upset for weeks about that stupid prank. I was worried the

weddingwouldbecancelled.”

“You should probably forgive him.” She slurped her drink again while watching

Jordan’sface.

Sheclosedhereyesforasecondbeforesheanswered.“I’llthinkaboutit,butIthink

we’re done. We were just friends, anyway. There’s a chance that Rex misses him more
thanIdo.”

“Youmisshim?”

“That’snotwhatImeant.Youcanstopitnow—Iknowwhatyou’retryingtodo.I’ve

beennoticingallofyoumentioningLukethesepastfewweeks,buthe’snottheone.”

Emilycouldn’tuseherquietvoice,anymore.“Oh,comeon,Jordan!He’sperfectand

you know it. He’s handsome, tall, and has a fabulous sense of humour, except for that
awful practical joke, of course. He told me he loves kids, and he wants to go to New
Zealandforaholiday.He’ssoperfect,it’snotevenfunny.Plus,youknowhowhefillsout
hisjeans.”ShegrinnedasJordansmiledatherwithalookofsadnessinhereyes.

“Yes,heisallthosethings.Youmakehimsoundamazing.Thelistsaidhehadtohave

acar,though,so,no.”

“Can’t you make an exception for someone that our group particularly likes? Why

don’tyouaskhimonadateandsee?”

“Idon’twantto.”

“Why not? You’re worried he’ll turn out to be perfect, aren’t you?” She raised her

eyebrowsinaknowingwayasshetookinJordan’ssadface.“You’reconvincedyou’llfall
forhim.”

“Nope.Nottrue—notevenatinybit.Idon’teventhinkhehasajob,Em.”Shetooka

sipofhercoffee,becausestirringitwasstartingtolooksilly.“He’salwaysavailablefor
me.He’sthereeverysingletimeIgethomefromadate,readytohearthepostmortemof
whatwentwrongthistime.Hecooksmedinner,walksthedog,andspendsallhisspare
timeonmycouchwatchingmovies.”ShelookedatEmilyagain,“Doyouknowhecan
tellyouanythingaboutyourfavouritemovie—eventhechickflicks?Ithinkhemustbe
livingonunemploymentbenefits,and,and,”shespokefasterashercasegrewmomentum,
“he’s never invited me over to his house. He probably shares with someone, or a few
people.Whoknows?”

“Yeah,umm…hesoundslikeaterriblehumanbeing,Jordan.Soattentiveandalways

there when you need him—totally awful. Why don’t you ask him where he lives and
whereheworks?”

“No,nomoretalkofhim.He’salwaysbeenjustafriend,andnothinghaschanged.It’s

timeIweanedmyselfoffbeingdependantonLuke,soletitgo.”

***

Jordan’s Facebook date picked her up right on time. He held the door for her and

closedthecardoorgentlybehindheronceshewassettled.Theyweregoingtothetheatre,
and he was dressed to impress in a well-made black suit. His car was warm inside, and
Jordansnuggledintothesoftleather.Whenhe’dsettledinthedriver’sseat,heturnedto
herwithanearnestlookonhisface.

“It’slovelytomeetyou,Jordan.I’mgladwecouldgettoknoweachothertonight.”

“You,too,Charles.Thankyoufortakingmetoseethisplay;I’vebeenwantingtogo

foralongtime,andImissedoutonseeingitwithafriendbackinApril.”

ThenightIalmostdiedinanundergroundchopshop!

“Great. You should enjoy it, then. There’s one thing before we leave, and I already

knowit’sgoingtoseemalittleoddtoyou.”Hereachedoverandopenedthegloveboxin
frontofherknee.Hepulledoutasmallboxandlookedatherwithoutopeningit.“Ihavea
tradition when I have a good feeling about a date.” He flicked open the box and Jordan
suddenlyrealiseditcontainedaring.

Woahthere,tiger!

Hepulleditoutandlifteditup,soshecouldseeit.Itwasplatinumandsetwiththree

diamonds,andasheturnedit,sherealisedthatitspelledouttheword“love”onthetop.“I
liketohavemydateswearmyring.Youknow,asakindofgoodluckgesture.”

Jordan was speechless, and she couldn’t stop her eyes from skating sideways to look

longinglyattheentrancetoherbuilding.Ifshehandledthisright,shecouldbeinsideand
kickingoffhershoesintwominutes.Shedidwanttoseetheplay,though,andticketshad
beenrareeversinceshe’dmadeEmilytakeAndreathenightshe’dgoneoutwithGeorge.
Ifshedidn’tgonow,shemightnevergettoseeit.Wasitsobadtohumourhimandwear
thering?

Yes!

Shepastedonasmileandheldoutherhand,andhegrinnedatherandletoutasigh.

She guessed he was relieved that she hadn’t run, and she longed to ask how often this
tacticworkedforhim.Ifnothingelse,itwouldstophisdatefromsneakingoutwhenshe
wenttothebathroom.

Theydroveincompanionablesilence,himwithabigsmileonhisface.Nomatterwhat

happened tonight, she knew Charles was already enjoying himself. She twirled the ring
aroundandaroundonherfingerasshetriednottolethimseethatshewasfidgeting.

Justgetthroughtheplay.Justgetthroughtheplay.

She glared out the window as she realised that, once again, she was giving herself a

pep talk on a date. When would she meet someone nice, like Richard, so she could be
herselfaroundhim?

LikeRichard?OrlikeLuke?

Shepushedthatthoughtasideastheyarrivedatthetheatre,andCharlesletheroutat

thedoor.Hewenttoparkthecarandreturnedafewminuteslater.Hetookherhand,and
theywentinsidetotaketheirseats.Acompletegentleman,heorderedheraglassofwine
andaskedifshe’dlikeasnack.Theirseatswerefabulous,andsheenjoyedeverysecond
oftheshow.Shehidherhandunderherlegwhenthelightswentdown,sohewouldn’t
knowshe’dsecretlyremovedtheringandslippeditintohereveningbag.

When Charles dropped her home, he reverently placed the ring back in the box and

tuckeditawayintheglovebox.Shewishedhimaniceevening,andhepromisedhe’dcall
her.Sheknewshe’dhavetolethimdowngentlywhenthatcallcame.

***

“Isthisseattaken?”Lukestoodbyherelbow,hiseyessilentlybegginghernottosend

himaway.

“Nope.”Hestoodtherelookingather,andshesighedandmovedherhandbagslightly.

“Comeon,sitdown.”

“CanIbuyyouadrink?”

“No,thanks.I’mnothavingmuch.”

“Toughnight?”

“Yep.Shocking.”

“Wanttotellmeaboutit?”

“I’mnottalkingtoyou,remember?”

“How could I forget? Not to split hairs, but we’re talking right now, so you can

probablytellme.”

She took a sip of her wine and swivelled her chair to look at him. His hair was as

perfectasever,buthehadstubbleonhischin—notsomethingheusuallyallowed.Hewas
wearingthosedamnjeans,andsheswivelledbacktofacethebar.

“I’msorry,Jordan,forthejoke.Wedidn’tmeantoscareyouorupsetShelly.”

“Iknow.IfI’dbeenyou,Imighthavethoughtitwasfunny,too.I’msorryI’vebeenso

horrible.”

Hesmiled,andshesawhimvisiblyrelax,nowthatheknewhewasforgiven.“IsRexy

missingme?”

“Yes, I think Rex does miss you. He keeps giving me the evil eye, like I’ve crossed

him,somehow.Itcanonlybebecauseyouhaven’tbeenaround.”

“Oh, I’ve been around. You just haven’t noticed me while you’ve been busy tapping

awayonyourkeyboardinthecorner.Istayedaway,incaseyoushoutedatmeandmadea
sceneinCindy’sstore.”

“Stilldoingyourcoffeeshopstalkerroutine,then?”

Hesnorted.“Somethinglikethat.”

Luke turned, as a woman Jordan hadn’t seen before place her hand on his shoulder.

“Wanttodance,bigguy?”

“Err…no,thanks.Sorry.”HesmiledandturnedbacktoJordan,buttheblondewasn’t

givingup.

“Please? Just once? My name is Megan. Megan Varnell.” She smiled as though the

mentionofhernameshouldhavehimrushingtosweepherontothedancefloor.

Jordanwatchedhimclosehiseyesforasecond,asifhewasresignedtohisfate.He

was an attractive guy, and she suddenly realised that he often had women showing him
attentionwhenevertheywereout.She’dnevernoticeditbeforetoday,though.

Sheslidoffherstoolandtookhishandasshespokeoverhisshouldertothewoman,

“Sorry,myfiancéandIwereabouttodance.”

“Oh,okay,Ididn’trealise,”shesaidasshetotteredawayonhersix-inchheels.Jordan

pulledLuketowardthedancefloor,andhewastednotimeinwrappinghisarmsaround
herandpullingherclose.

“Hey,”shetriedtomoveaway,butheheldontight.

“YoujusttoldthedaughterofminingmagnateJamesVarnellthatwe’reengaged—at

leastlooklikeyoucanstandmeforasongortwo,”hegrowledintoherear.

She relaxed against his chest. At that exact moment, the heavy beat of the music

switchedtoasoftlovesong,andJordanalmostpulledawayagain.Shelookedupathim
andhesmirkeddownather,knowingshewascaughtwhenshe’dbeentryingtohelphim
out. Over her shoulder, she saw Fish looking down at her from the DJ booth. Why did
everythinghavetobecomesocomplicatedsinceshe’dmadethatresolutionrightherein
thisclub?

Lukeprovedtobeanexpertdancer,andhespunheroutandtwirledheraroundasshe

ducked under his arm. They laughed as some of the other dancers moved to give them
more room, and before Jordan knew it, they had danced to three or four songs. Fish
crankedupthebeatandthevolumeonthenextsong,andtheyreturnedtotheirspotatthe
bar.Itwasmidweek,sotherewasnoshortageofemptyseatstochoosefrom.

Lukeorderedthembothadrinkandcoaxedthenight’sdatingstoryoutofher.When

shetoldhimaboutthering,helaughedsohardthathehadtoputhisdrinkdowntwice.

Itwasnicetobesharingherdaywithhimagain.Hewasalwayssympatheticandtold

her to keep searching. There was something else that she couldn’t put her finger on
tonight.Heseemedalittlebitmoreattentivethanusual,anditmadehernervous.When
they’d danced together, her pulse had quickened, and she’d found herself tongue-tied. It
wasprobablythatshehadn’tseenhimforacoupleofweeks,andherimmunitytohimhad
diminished.

Forthefirsttimeever,shedidn’ttellhimaboutherupcomingdatewithRichard.They

were due to meet on Saturday night, and Richard had told her it was time they had a
serioustalk.Shewasprettysuresheknewhowthatnightwouldend,andshewasmore
thanalittleexcitedattheprospectofmovingforwardwithhim.

Shewasn’tsure,now,ifshe’denduptellingLukeaboutit.

***

ThedatewithRichardwaseverythingJordanhadexpectedandmore.Hearrivedwith

flowersandcomplimentedheronheroutfit.Heheldherhandthroughdinnerandlistened
toherstoriesofshoppingwithherfriendsfortheirbridesmaiddresses.Theweddingwas
only six weeks away, and she had a plan, as she enjoyed their dinner together, to ask
ShellyifRichardcouldcomeasherdate,afterall.

After dinner, he suggested a walk through the park, and she slipped off her shoes,

which he carried for her, to pad along in the darkness beside him. When they reached a
darkened section of the park bathed only in the soft glow of a dimmed streetlight, they
finallysharedtheirfirstproperkiss.

A rush of lust overcame Jordan. She’d waited so long for him to kiss her—she’d

dreamedaboutitandwaitedforittohappen.Shehadworriedthatalackofintimacywas
asigntheyweren’tmeanttobe,butwhenthemomentfinallycame,sheknewinhersoul
that it was right for them. He wrapped his arms around her and tentatively explored her
mouthwithhistonguewhileshepressedagainsthim,leavinghiminnodoubtthatshewas
ready.

Hepulledaway,andtheirforeheadstouchedashesmiledatherinthedarkness.“CanI

takeyouhome,Jordan—andcanIstay?”

“I’dlikethatalot.”Shegiggledasheturnedheraroundandtookherhandtoleadher

to the car. He drove at record speed, and they laughed together at how eager they both
were. When they fell through her doorway, they were already breathing heavily, and it
wasn’tlongbeforehewasremovinghershirtanddroppingitonthefloor.

AgrowlfromthecornerremindedherofRex,andsheapologisedtoRichardwhileshe

quicklylockedthedoginthelaundry,wherehecontinuedtovoicehisdisapproval.

Quiet,Rex.Thisishowitwasalwaysmeanttoturnout.

SheledRichardtoherbedroom,andhekickedthedoorshutwithhisfootashekissed

downherneckandacrosshershoulder.Heslippedoffhisshoes,andsheeagerlyhelped
himoutofhisbeltandpants.Shegaspedashisclothesfelltothefloorandhepressedhis
arousalagainsther.Hermouthwateredatthethoughtofwhatwastocome.

Theylayonthebed,andRichardmadethewaitsoworthwhile.Heworshippedevery

inch of her skin, and when he finally moved on top of her, she gasped his name. Her
fingers wrapped in his hair, and her back arched as they made the music together that
she’dknowntheywould.

Afterward,shelaytherewithhisweightontopofherasshedrewalazytraildownhis

back with her finger. For the first time in months, she was truly happy and relaxed.
Waiting to get serious with Richard had been worth all those nights of texting and
continuingtodateothermeninthehopesthatoneofthemwouldturnouttobeherPrince
Charming.Howfunnyitwasthathe’dturnedouttobesomeoneshemetonthefirstday
she’dlookedonTinder.

Hekissedherontheneckandgentlyrolledoffherandontohisback.Hestretchedhis

armsabovehishead,andshecouldtellhewasassatisfiedasshewas.

Howlonguntilwecandothatagain,Iwonder.

Herolledoverontohissidetofaceher,andshesmiledathim,lovingthecurveofhis

chinandtheheatshesawinhiseyes.Hespokeinahuskyvoice,fullofemotion.“Jordan,
I’msogladIfoundyou.Weareaperfectmatch.”

The smile that stretched across her face could have lit up the park they’d walked

through earlier. She ran her fingers through his chest hair and gazed up into his eyes,
waitingforhisnextwords.Nothinghecouldsaycouldincreasethejoyinherchestright
now.

“I can’t stay tonight, but I’ll come back tomorrow afternoon and we can work out a

plan.”

“What kind of plan?” She wanted to hear him say the words to tell her for sure that

they weren’t going to see other people, anymore. She felt such a relief at knowing she
wouldn’thavetoendureanothercrappydateandthatshecouldthrowawaythatlist—that
stupid, perfect list where this special man’s attributes were all listed when she’d wished
forhimeightmonthsearlier.

“Well,we’llneedsomekindofroster,soyouknowwhichnightsI’llbehereandwhen

I’llbeathome.”

She pushed his chest gently. “We don’t need a roster, silly. You can come over

wheneveryoulike.I’llgetyouakey,andIcanstayatyourplacesometimes,too,ifyou
want.”

He frowned and pulled away slightly. “No, that won’t work. I can’t mix my lives

together.”

“Youdon’twantmetocometoyourhouse?Workandpleasurehavebeenknowntogo

together, you know. I freelance, so I could even come with you on some of your trips.”
Her eyes roved hungrily over his naked skin. “Wouldn’t that be fun after a hard day of
work?”

Hegrinnedatherandsqueezedherhandinhis.“Iwoulddefinitelylikethat,andit’sa

greatidea.Idon’twanthertofindoutaboutyou,though,somaybeyoucanmeetmethere
foradayortwo,sometimes.”

“Youdon’twantwhotofindout?Yourboss?”

“Umm…no,notmyboss.”HelaughedasJordan’sconfusionincreased.“I’mtalking

aboutmywife,ofcourse.”

“Yourwhat?”Shepulledbackandstaredintohiseyes.

“My wife. We have an open relationship, but even she doesn’t like to see any of my

girlswhenthey’rearound.”

Jordan sat up in bed, pulling the sheets around her as she stared at him. Her mouth

opened,butallshecouldwhisperwas,“Yourgirls?”

Richardfrownedatherandsatup,too.“Whydoyoulooksoshocked?Ithoughtyou

understoodwhatthiswas?”

“OhmyGod.”Herfacewentwhiteasthemeaningofhiswordssunkin.Suddenly,it

allmadesense:thebusinesstripseverymonth,longperiodsspentinterstate,inmeetings,
orunavailableforanynumberofreasons,andtextmessagesreceivedlateatnight,which
she’dseen,atthetime,asaromanticgesturetoshowhewasthinkingofher.

Nowsheknewthemtobethesignsofacheatingman.Whetherthatcheatingwaswith

hiswife’sknowledge,itmadenodifferencetoher.Sheslippedoutofhersideofthebed
andpulledthesheetwithher,leavinghimsittingthere,naked.“Getout,”shewhispered.

“Comeon,Jordan.Wehadfun,didn’twe?”Hestoodonhisside,notbotheringtoput

hisclotheson.“Iwanttoseeyouagain.Ienjoyyourcompany,andtonightwasgreat.”He
movedtotheendofthebedandtookasteptowardher,butshewasn’thavinganyofit.

“Get out of my house right now.” Her voice was steely, and her words came out

throughgrittedteeth.“Getyourclothesandgo.Idon’twanttohearfromyouagain.”

Insteadofarguinghiscase,hesighedandstartedpullingonhispants.Hethrewonhis

shirt,leavingituntucked,andthensatonthebedtopullhisshoeson.

“Hurryup!”shesnapped,fightingtokeepfromscreamingathim.

Heshookhisheadandwenttothedoor,andshefollowedhimthroughit,clutchingthe

sheettightlyaroundher.Helookedaroundforhisphoneandhiswallet,whichhe’dlefton
thetable.

“Hurryup,Richard!Getoutofmyhouse!”Thefloodgateshadopened,andhervoice

wasnowraisedtoashout.

Still, he tried one more time. “Please, Jordan, can’t we talk about this? Don’t throw

awayallofthesemonthsofgettingtoknoweachother.”

“GETOUT!”sheshrieked.Herhandpickedupthenearestitemshecouldfindandshe

threwitathim.Theemptyvaseshatteredagainstthewallbesidehisear,andRexstarted
barkinglikeamadthingfromthelaundry.“GETOUT,RICHARD!GetoutbeforeIlet
thedogoutandhemakesyougetout!”

Hedidn’t wait tobe told again,and he pulled thedoor open andrushed out onto the

landing. It banged against the wall behind him, and she rushed to slam it shut, but not
before running after him and screaming one last time down the stairs at his retreating
figure. Her final shriek followed him as he scurried out to his car, keys jangling in the
darkness.

“Youlyingsackofshit!YoubetterhopeIdon’tfindherphonenumber,becauseshe’ll

bloodyhearaboutyourgirls!”Hehadalreadygonethroughthedoordownstairs,though,
andmostlikelydidn’thearherlastthreat.Shesankdownontothegroundandweptasher
heartbroke.Hertearspooledonthefloor,andsheconsideredstayingrightthereforever.

Bentoverwithhercheekagainstthefloorboards,shenearlyjumpedoutofherskinas

awarmhandtouchedhershoulder.Sheraisedherarmstofighthimoff,butagentlevoice
shushedher.Ashereyestravelledupward,sherealisedthatitwasLukeandnotRichard
whowaspickingherup.

Shehowledhermiseryinrackingsobsasheheldhersheetaroundherandledherback

intotheapartment.Tearsdrippeddownherfront,turningthespotstransparentwherethey
fell. He locked the door behind them and made her sit on the couch, where she curled
herself into a crying ball as he went to the laundry to let the dog out. Rex rushed out,

snarling, but he quickly wagged his tail when he saw his favourite visitor had finally
returned.

LukeventuredintoJordan’sroomandsurveyedthemessofthebed.Shakinghishead,

hepulledthequiltoffthefloorandtookitbacktotheloungetowrapJordaninit.Shewas
cryingsilenttearsbynow,andhesatherupandwrappedherinhisarmsasshehiccupped
and sobbed into his shoulder. They sat that way as the minutes ticked by, and Jordan
moaned,hermiserybecomingaphysicalpainthatwouldnotsubside.

Herockedheragainsthimandeventuallyshecalmeddownashekissedherhairand

ran his hand up and down her back, reassuring her that he was there for her. He didn’t
knowwhathadhappened,buthefearedtheworstandsoonhecouldn’tstandit,anymore.

“Jordan,doyouneedtoseesomeone?”Sheshookherheadagainsthisshoulder,sohe

triedagain.“CanIcalloneofthegirlsforyou—orwouldyoulikemetotakeyoutothe
hospital?”Shehiccuppedagain,andhecouldhaveswornheheardherlaugh.Hepulled
awayandtriedtoseeherface,butshekeptithidden.

Her words were muffled against his shirt, and he had to ask her to repeat them.

“Nothingasbadaswhatyou’reimagininghappenedtonight.Idon’tneedthehospital.”

Hisenormousexhalationofairshowedhowrelievedhewas.“Oh,thankGod.Ifeared

the worst when I saw him running to the car and heard you screaming. I didn’t know
whethertobeathimuporrushtocheckonyou.”

Tohissurprise,shelaughedagainandpulledherfaceawayfromhisshirt.Heloosened

his grip and she sat up while remaining pressed against his side. “We had a nice night,
Luke. I thought this was it, finally. Things were getting serious.” She sniffed and wiped
moretearsfromhercheek.“Afterward,”sheblushedasshelookedupathim,“hetoldme
that he’s married and that both he and his wife see other people.” Her voice shook and
confusionfilledherface.“Whothefuckdoesthat?”shewhispered.

Theysatsilentlyonthecouchwiththedogonthefloorbetweenthem.Lukeglancedat

theclockonceJordanseemedtobealmostincontrolofherselfagain.Itwasafterone.

“Doyouwanttogotobed?”

“No,Idon’twanttogointhere.I’llsleeponthecouch.”

Hepattedhershoulder,understandingtheproblem.“HowaboutIchangethesheetsfor

you,andthenyoucangetagoodnight’ssleep?Sleepingonthecouchisn’tthebestplace
when you’ve had an upset. Trust me, I’ve spent enough time sleeping on your couches
duringthedaytoknow.”Hegentlymovedherasideandwenttofindcleansheetsinthe
linencupboard.Innotimeatall,hewascarryingtheoldonestothelaundryandhiding
themfromhersight.“Wecanburnthemtomorrow,ifyou’dlike—haveourownbonfire
outonthepavement.”Shelaughed,andhewasrelievedthatsheseemedatinybitbetter.

“Idon’tknowifIcan

—“

“Comeon,”heheldouthishand.“I’llstaywithyouforabit.Itwillmakeyourdog’s

night.” She sniffed as she let him pull her toward the bedroom. She’d thought it might

smellofRichardinhere,buthissmell,likehim,hadn’tlingeredlong.Thebedwasclean
andtidy,andshestooduncertainlyinthedoorwayassherememberedthatshewasnaked
underneaththesheet.

“Doyouneedpyjamas?”

“Probably, but I can’t be bothered. I want to go to sleep and forget that this ever

happened.

“Hangon,”hedisappearedoutthedoorandreturnedwithanothercleansheet.“Here,

wrapthisonearoundyouandI’lladdtheotheronetothefuelfortomorrow’sfire.”She
lookeduncertainlyathimandheturnedhisback,“Hurryup,beforeI’mtemptedtopeek.”

Heheardhergetintobed,andhepickedupthediscardedsheetfromthefloorbefore

running it to the laundry. He meant every word he’d said about burning the linen
tomorrow. He didn’t care if he had to buy her a whole new set—the thought of Richard
beingherewithherandthenbetrayingherlikethatfilledhimwithrevulsion.

Glasscrunchingunderhisfoothadhimpullingthebroomfrombesidethefridgeand

sweepinguptheremainsofthebrokenvase.Hebaggedthebrokenpiecesandputthemon
thetablesoRexwouldn’tpullthebagopen.

ReturningtoJordan’sroom,heflickedoffthelightandclimbedontothebed,resting

abovethecoverswhileshesnuggledunderthem.Sheslidtowardhimandputherheadon
hisshoulderashewrappedhisarmsaroundheragain.Hefelthersobonceortwice,and
heknewshewouldhavearestlessnight.

Rextooktheopportunitytojumpuponthebedandpushhiswaybetweentheirlegs

before turning around once or twice to get himself settled. He finally lay down with a
contentedsigh,andLukesmiledinthedark.

Iknowjusthowyoufeel,buddy.

***

Thelightstreamedinthenextmorning,andJordanhadaflashbacktoNewYear’sDay.

Onceagain,she’dgonetobedlateandhadforgottentoclosethecurtains.Onceagain,she
wokenexttoabeautifulmanwhoshouldnothavebeeninherbed.

Thistime,however,sheknewhisnameandcouldrememberhowhe’dgottenthere—

notthatshewantedtoremember.Lastnightwouldgodownasoneofthehappiest,and
worst, nights of her life. She was still reeling over going from dizzying heights to the
crashthathadfollowedsoswiftly.AlthoughpartofherwishedLukehadn’tbeenthereto
witnesshermeltdown,sheworriedthatshe’dstillbefacedowninthecorridorrightnowif
hehadn’tshownup.

Shebegantoeaseherselfawayfromhim,buthewasontoherandhepulledherclose

again. “Don’t move. I’m really comfortable here. It’s so much better than the couch,

mostlybecausethedogisasleeponmylegs,insteadofmychest.”

Shesnortedandrelaxedagainsthimagain.“Thatdogisabigfattraitor,butI’llforgive

himsincehe’dhavechasedRicharddownthestairslastnight,ifI’dlethim.”Justsaying
hisnamehurt.

“He’sagooddog.I’mgoingtobuyhimaspecialtreattoday.”

Jordan laughed again and did pull away this time. Luke groaned and rolled over to

watchher,buthequicklyshuthiseyesastheyfellonthebareskinofherbottom.“Hey,
whereareyourclothes?”

“Youweren’tmeanttobelooking!”Shequicklythrewonatopandsomeshortsand

headedtothebathroomtofreshenup.Whensheemergedafewminuteslater,hewasin
thekitchenmakingcoffee,andherbedwasperfectlymade.

Well-trained.Whoknew?

“Whatareyoudoingtoday?”heaskedashehandedherasteamingcup.

“I’m not doing a damn thing. I need a break, and today I’m taking it. No work, no

checkingemail,andI’mgoingtoturnoffmyphone.Tohellwiththeworld.”Sheplopped
downonthecouchandhesatnexttoher.

“Ihaveonlyonetask,ifyou’dliketojoinmelater?”

“I’mnotsureIwanttodoanythingthattakesmucheffort.What’syourtask?”

“I’mgoingtostartthatbonfireIpromisedyou.”

September

Jordanwatchedcarefullyastheinstructorexplainedagainhowtheyneededtoposition

theirlegswhentheylanded.Luke’sgeniusideatotakehermindoffthingshadturnedout
to be a skydiving trip, and she wasn’t amused. This was right up there with the shark
diving experience, except on this occasion, she actually liked the person she was with.
Lukehadbeenkindtoherallweek,andshetriedhardtopayattention,sohedidn’tthink
shewaslame.

The instructions were confusing and the lesson was long. They were in a group with

fourotherdaredevils,andnoonehadjumpedbefore.Whenthepracticallessonwasover,
they sat in a small shed, waiting for the plane to land and for the instructor they’d been
pairedwithtotakethemupfortheactualjump.

Everyonewasnervous.Jordancouldfeelsweattricklingdownherbackandsheknew

itwasfromfearandnotheat.Sheconsideredbackingout,butthensherememberedthat
she’dsurvivedthesharkdive.Comparedtothat,thiswasjustonemoreadrenalinerush.

Themanoppositeherwasjokingwithhisfriendabouthowtheymightalldietoday.

He made all the usual jokes about them jumping out of a perfectly good aeroplane, and
Luke crossed his eyes and tilted his head where he was sitting across from her. The
womannexttoherwastappingherfootandclickingherfingers.Jordanimaginedshewas
thetypewhowouldclickapenoverandover,ifsheheldoneinherhandfortoolong.

Nooneelsewasinteracting,soJordanthoughtshe’dmakesmalltalk.“Doanyofyou

knoweachother?”sheasked,lookingfromthetwomentothetwowomenbesideher.

“Nope.Neverseenthembeforeinmylife,”saidherneighbour.

“Well,doweallwanttointroduceourselves?”

“Youwanttochatbeforeyoufalltoyourdeath,isthatit?”

“Don’tsaythat,”theladynexttohersaid.“Ifwehaveanaccident,it’llbeyourfault.”

Shelookedoutontotherunway,craninghernecktoseeiftheplanewascoming.“Idon’t
knowaboutyouguys,butI’mfreakingout.”Shegaveasingle,nervouslaugh.

“Okay,then,introductions.I’mJack,andthisisHenry.”

“MynameisRachelCanales,andthisismyfriend,LoriShore.”Jordanthoughtitwas

strange that she gave their last names when the men hadn’t, but it must have been her
nerves.

Lukespokeupnext.“I’mLuke,andthisisJordan.”

“Areyoutwomarried?”Theybothlaughedatthesametime.

“No way. We are absolutely not married. We’re friends,” Luke said as he glanced at

Jordan,whowasglaringattheconcretefloor.

The man named Henry piped up as he addressed Rachel. “Want to make this

interesting?”

“Whatdidyouhaveinmind?”

“Well, you’re single, right?” He waited for her to nod her agreement and then he

grinned.“Sofar,sogood.Howabout,ifwesurvivethis,youandIgetmarried?”

Luke laughed out loud, and Jordan glared at him, pursing her lips. Rachel looked

flatteredandlaughedoffHenry’soffer.Shedidn’ttakehimseriously,andhernextwords
provedit.“Idon’tthinkIcantrustyoutofollowthroughonthatpromise.I’mgonnaneed
youtopropose,now,beforewegoup.”

Lorigiggledatherfriend’srequest,andLukecontinuedtochortle,asthoughthiswas

themostamusingthinghe’deverwitnessed.Jordancouldn’tbelievethataftershe’dspent
allyearwastinghertimeonguyafterguy,tryingtofindsomeoneseriousenoughtomarry
her,thesecompletestrangerswerejokingaboutitrighthereinfrontofher.

“Deal,”Henrysaid,andhejumpedoutofhisseatandsanktoonekneeinfrontofher.

“RachelCanales,wouldyoudomethehonourofbeingmywife…assumingwesurvive
the next forty minutes of flying in a shaky tin can, strapped to a complete stranger who
packedourchuteandassureduswewouldn’tdietoday?Ifwesurviveallofthat,willyou
takethenextchallengeandmarryme?”

Shesmiledathimandputoutherhand,asthoughthiswasarealproposal.“I’dloveto,

Henry. If we live, I’ll definitely marry you.” They all laughed at this impromptu
performance,andRacheladded,“Iwantyoutobuymearingonthewayhome,though!”

“Ipromise,”hesaidsolemnly.Beforeshecouldanswer,theirinstructorappearedinthe

doorway.

“Okay,jumpers,herewego.Everyoneintotheplane.”

They filed out behind him, and they were soon in the tiny plane and heading for the

end of the runway. Jordan felt unwell and considered backing out again. The wind
whistledloudlythroughtheplane,andtheinstructorhadtoshouttobeheardovertheroar
of the engines. Each person was strapped into their tandem harness, and when they
reachedthecorrectaltitude,theydroppedoutoftheplaneonebyone.

Jordanthoughtshewouldscreamallthewaydowntotheground,butshewasrendered

speechlessbytheshockofthefreefall.Thegroundhurtledtowardthem,andsheprayed
for the moment the chute was pulled. Somewhere nearby, she could hear someone
shrieking,andshethoughtitsoundedsuspiciouslylikeLuke.Itcouldn’tbehim,though—
thishadbeenhisidea.

Before it seemed like enough time had passed, the chute was pulled and they were

rushing toward the big cross on the ground with the instructor reminding her to lift her
legs.Theyploppeddowninthecentreofthetarget,andreliefrushedthroughher.Shelay
flatontheground,unabletostandupastheinstructorunclippedherharness.Hehelped
hertoherfeet,andshesawLukelyingonthegroundwithseveralpeoplegatheredaround
him.Sherushedovertoseeifhewasinjured,andwhenshepushedthroughthepeople,

shelaughedwhenshesawhimonhisback.

Tears streamed down his cheeks, and he was babbling about how he’d just skydived

threetimes:thefirst,thelast,andtheonlytime!Thecrowdlaughed,andheeventuallylet
themhelphimup.Hislegswereshakingsobadlythathecouldhardlywalktotheshed,
andJordanlethimleanonhertosteadyhimself.

RachelandHenryappearedtohavetakentheirmarriagepactseriously,andnowthat

they were alive, they were making plans to have lunch together on the way home. Luke
nudged her side as they overheard the two of them chattering away. Jordan ignored him
andheadedstraighttohercar.

Beforesheunlockedit,shenoddedinthelovebird’sdirection.“Seethatproblemthey

havenow?”

“Whatproblem?”heasked,lookingoverhisshoulderatthem.

“Theybothdrovehere.Hehasacar—that’swhyshesaidyestoday.Evenwithouther

checkingfirst,heapparentlyhaseverythingonthelist!”

***

ThedrivehomewassomethingofarevelationforJordan.Lukeinsistedonmentioning

Rachel and Henry around thirty times on the way, and she started thinking about how
strangetheworldwas.She’dtriedsohardtogetmarried,andhereRachelandHenryhad
appearedtohititoffstraightaway.Rachelhadn’taskedhimanyquestionsandcouldn’t
haveknownifhehadjoboracar,orwhathewantedoutoflife,becausetheyneverhada
chancetohavethatconversation.Maybetheywerehavingitnowoverlunch,butRachel
hadseenenoughtogiveHenryachance.

Maybethat’swhereJordanhadgonewrong.Maybetheappwasagoodidea,butthe

listofherperfectmanwasamistake.Allthistime,perhapssheshouldhavebeenletting
theuniverseleadhertotherightguy.

Lukearguedthepointaboutthis,ofcourse.“That’scrap.Youdidgivetheuniversea

go. You said yes to every loser who asked you to go out with him, as long as they had
everythingonthelistintheirfavour.Youjoineddatingsitesyouneverwouldhaveused
otherwisetowidenthenet.Diditgetyouabetterqualityman?No!”Heansweredhisown
questionbeforeshehadthechance.“Diditresultinlastinglove?No!Didyouendupwith
a broken heart? Yes!” He looked guilty as he said this last bit, as though reminding her
mightupsetheragain.

She glared at him as she drove. “It doesn’t matter. I’m not going to try that hard,

anymore.Whatcomestomecomes.Imightevenbeabitmorerelaxedaboutthewhole
waitingforsexthing.Thatdidn’tgetmeanywheregood,either,didit?”

***

Jordandidn’tattempttomeetasinglemanforthenextthreeweeks,andnoonestrayed

into her path or showed any interest in her. She was conscious that it was the end of
SeptemberandherNewYear’sresolutionwasdeadinthewater.Shekickedherselfthat
shehadn’tmadeseveralresolutions—thatway,shemighthavehadachanceofstickingto
oneofthem.

Thedateshewasgoingontodaywasoneoftheonesshe’dbookedrightafterthegirls

hadinformedhershewascheatingthesystem.Atthetime,ithadseemedludicrousthat
she’d need to meet these guys, yet here she was, getting ready to go to the movies with
oneofthem.Richard’sbetrayalstillhurt,andtherewaslesschanceofheropeninguptoa
completestranger,now.

ShemetTomatthecinema.Shenolongergaveanyoneherhomeaddressandmostly

drove herself, because she didn’t want anyone else to know she lived above the coffee
shop.ItwasbadenoughthatRichardknew,andeverysooften,sheworriedthathemight
comearound.Sheneedn’thavewastedherenergy,though—shehadn’theardawordfrom
himsincethatawfulnight.

Tomwascharming.

Theyallare,atthestart.

Themoviewashilarious,whichhelpedthembothloosenup.Whenheinvitedherto

hisplacetoplaybackgammon,sheforgotherinhibitionsandagreed.Shefollowedhislate
model car to his house, and they were soon sitting on the floor, playing a competitive
gamecompletewithenoughshoutingandlaughingtowaketheneighbours.

Tom’s hand crept toward hers as they started their third game, and for a second, she

staredatitandconsideredpullinghersaway.

Whatthehell?I’mhavingfun.

Shelethimcoverherhandwithhis,andtheycontinuedplaying.Afterfivegames,he

suggestedtheymakeitalittlemoreinteresting.Againstherbetterjudgement,agameof
strip-backgammonwasinitiated.ItwasaboutthattimethatTom’sluckranout,andhelost
thenextthreegames.

Ashisclothesdroppedtothefloorgameaftergame,Jordanlaughedandlaughed.The

annoyedlookonhisfacewassofunny,andsheknewhe’dthoughtshewouldbemissinga
fewitemsofclothing,bynow.Whileshesetuptheboardtoplayagain,Tomwenttothe
kitchen to get them both a drink. When she stood up to stretch her legs, she jumped as
therewasaloudknockonthedoor.

Tomsprangfromthekitchen,muchtoheramusement,butherlaughwascutshortas

hegrabbedherandherhandbagandshuffledherofftoaroominhishouse.“Hideinthe
closet,”hesaid.Whenshedidn’tmove,butfrownedathim,instead,heopenedthecloset
doorandshovedherinside.“She’scrazy,”hewhispered.“Youdon’twanthertofindyou

here.”Heshutthedoorassheheardtheknockingonthefrontdoorgrowlouder.

Jordan’s heart was pounding, and she looked around the tiny space she’d been

squeezed into. She heard raised voices in the lounge room and thought of the
backgammon board set up on the coffee table. Surely whoever was now shouting in the
otherroomwouldknowsomeoneelsewashere?Withpanicgrippingher,sheedgedsome
ofthehangingitemstotheside,soshecouldslipbehindthem.

Thisisfuckinginsane!

Shepulledtheminfrontofherandthenfrozeasthedoortotheroomopened,andshe

heardawomanshoutingatTom.“Youbetternotbelyingtome,TomSinden.We’restill
married, you piece of shit! Until that divorce is final, you better not be trying to hide
anyonefromme.”

“I’mtellingyou,Diane,there’snoonehere.Youneedtoleaverightnow.”Thedoor

bangedclosed,andJordanbreathedasighofrelief.

Herordealwasn’tover,though,andshecouldhearcupboardsanddoorsbeingopened

andbangedshutallthroughthehouse.Thedoortothegarageopened,andmorebanging
followed,aswellasthesoundofacarbootclosing.

Whatthehellisshedoingtohim?

Diane, who, it seemed, was the crazy ex he’d mentioned earlier, continued stalking

throughthehouse,lookingforthewomanshewassurewasthere—lookingforJordan.

Ten minutes later, she could hear the conversation calming down. Tom spoke in

soothing tones, and Diane was almost convinced that no one was in the house. Jordan’s
heart rate slowed from the hammering she’d been enduring, and she prayed that Diane
wouldleave,soshecouldgetherselfhomeasfastaspossible.Asshewaswonderinghow
longshe’dhavetowaitafterthewomanleft,thebedroomdooropenedagainandJordan
stoppedbreathing.

“She’sinthecloset,isn’tshe?”

No!

“Forthehundredthtime,there’snoonehere.Comeon,it’stimeforyoutogo.Ihave

anearlystarttomorrow.”

“Youbetternotbelyingtome.Idon’tevenknowwhatI’lldoifIfindoutsomeone

was here.” Their voices were right outside the door, and Jordan stood statue-still and
slowlycountedtoonehundredinherhead.Shewantedtogetoutoftheresobadly,but
sheknewifjustonecoathangersqueakedalongtherailing,she’dbefound.

“Come on, sweetie. Let’s get you home, and you can call me tomorrow.” Tom’s

soothingvoicewasback.“Howaboutwemeetforlunchtomorrow?”

Shefinallyrelented,andtheylefttheroomagain.Sheheardthedoorclickquietlyasit

wasclosed,butshedarednotbreathe.Whatifitwasatrick?WhatifDianehadsomehow
trickedhimandwaswaitingforthesoundshewassurewouldcomefromthecloset.

Thefrontdoorbangedshut,butshestayedwhereshewas.Sheheardthecurtainsbeing

pulled closed in the room, and then the door opened on Tom standing there in only his
pantswithanapologeticsmileonhisface.“I’msosorryaboutthat.Sheshowsupfrom
timetotime.Iguesswegotunluckytonight.”

Jordanletoutaweaklaughandfinallyletherlegsstartshakinglikethey’dwantedto

do for the last twenty minutes. She bent over and sucked in big lungfuls of air as he
rubbedhispalmsagainsthisthighs..

“I’mreally,reallysorry.I’mguessingyouwanttofleehome,now?”

“That’s probably best. Should I wait a little while, though? Do you think she’d be

watching?”

“Probably,”hesaidwithaflippanttonethattoldJordanheputupwiththisbehaviour

fromhisexquiteoften.“I’llmakeusacoffeeandtellyouthewholesordidtale,ifyou’d
like.”

“Can’t wait.” She sat on the couch where they’d laughed earlier tonight. All the fun

haddrainedoutoftheroom,though,andshewantedtogethometolieonthecouchand
begreetedbyRex.

AndLuke…

ShakingherheadatthewayLuke’sfacealwayspoppedupwhenshewasonadate,

she accepted the coffee that Tom handed her. “Okay, give me the short version of this
story.IexpectitislongandIcouldbehereallnight.”

“Itisverylong.DianeandIweremarriedforeightyears.Everythingstartedfine,of

course.Wewerehappyandourlifetogetherwasgreat.”Hesippedhisdrink.“Abouttwo
yearsago,shelostherjob.Hercompanymadeherredundant,andshetookitbadly.She
wasn’tmotivatedtogotoanyinterviews,andaftersixmonthsofit,I’dcomehometofind
hersittinginthesameplaceshewaswhenIleftinthemorning.Itriedtogethertogoto
counselling,butshewouldn’tgo,soIwentalone.Aftereighteenmonthsofhell,Ifinally
toldherIwantedadivorce.Thatpushedherevenfurtherovertheedge,andnowwefind
ourselveshere.”Helaughedwithouthumourashestaredintohiscup.“I’veonlybeenon
acoupleofdates,andshe’smanagedtoruineverysingleone.”

“Soundslikeyoumighthaveastalker.”

“Yes, I have considered that. She’s harmless, though. It’s such a shame, because we

were in love. I thought she was beautiful when we first met. She was fun, and we got
alongwellfromthefirstday.Theredundancychangedher,though.She’sneverbeenthe
same.”

“Tom,areyoustillinlovewithher?”

“What?”Hesnappedoutofhisreverie.“No,ofcoursenot.Imighthavebeenableto

take her back, but now she’s done too many awful things. Sometimes things go missing
fromthehouseandtheyard.Oneday,Icamehomeandtherewasnotoiletpaperineither
ofthebathrooms.”

They drank in silence, and Jordan tapped her foot, desperate to leave but worried it

wasn’tyetsafetogo.Shedidn’twanttorunstraightoutonhim,butshedidn’twanttobe
here,anymore.Sheputheremptycuponthetableandsaid,“Well,it’stimeformetocall
itanight.”

Hestoodandwalkedhertothedoorashecontinuedtoapologise.Shewalkedtoher

car with her spine ramrod straight, refusing to give in to her desire to check the bushes
alongthedrivewayforcrazyex-wives.Asshedroveaway,shedidn’tevenlooktoseeif
hewasstillstandingoutside.

Jordanranovertheeventsofthenightinherheadandwasinthemiddleofapeptalk,

telling herself she’d had a lucky escape, when her fuel gauge started beeping and the
yellow light came on. She turned in the direction of home, knowing she’d pass several
petrolstationsbeforeshegotthere.Afterpullingintothefirstoneshefoundstillopen,she
rifled around to get her purse from her handbag. As she opened the door, a navy blue
sedan parked right beside her at the pump. She filled her tank and went inside to pay,
whereshegrabbedachocolatebartocalmhernerves.Sugaralwaysdidthetrick.

Shegotbackintohercarandpulledoutontothestreet.Asshedidso,shenoticedthe

sedanleavethedrivewayatthesametime.

Funny—Ididn’tseeanyonegetout.

Pushingtheirrelevantthoughtaside,shecontinuedtowardhome.Shetookaleftatthe

lightsandthenturnedrighttouseasidestreet,whichwasquicker.Sheglancedintherear
viewmirror,whereadark-colouredcarfollowedher.

Thesamecarfromtheservo?

Shewatchedthecar,convincedthatnoonehademergedfromitwhileshehadfilled

herown.They’dleftatthesametimeasher,andnowheretheywere,behindherinaside
street that would be wildly coincidental for two cars to take at eleven o’clock on a
Tuesdaynight.Sheknewinherheartthatshewasbeingfollowed,andtherewasonlyone
personwhowouldhaveareasontodothattonight.

She tapped her phone in the hands-free holder and brought up Tom’s number. He

answeredonthefirstringandsaid,“Jordan,isthatyou?”

“Yep.Ithinkyourcrazyexisfollowingmehome!”

“Damn.Shetextedmeandsheseemsangry.Nowshe’snotansweringherphone,soI

don’tknowwhatshe’supto.”Hisvoicewasstrained.

“Thisismadness,Tom.Areyousureshe’snotdangerous?Asitstands,I’mtooscared

togohome.Idon’twanthertoknowwhereIlive.”

“Fair call. I wish she didn’t know where I lived.” He sounded sad, and Jordan felt a

waveofsympathyforhim.Thepoorguy.He’dbeendealingwiththisformonthsandwas
obviouslysuffering.“It’llbeokay.Areyoudoingokay?Thismustbehardforyou.”

“I’malright.Iwishithadturnedoutdifferently,that’sall.”

“Everything will work out in the end, Tom.” He sniffed and she noted that he hadn’t

askedifshewasokay—notevenwhenshetoldhimshewasbeingfollowed.

“Okay,I’mnotgoinghome.I’mgoingtodrivearoundforawhileandseeifIcanlose

her.”

“Alright.I’llhaveathinkaboutthingsandI’llletyouknowtomorrow.”

“Okay,”shesaidslowlyassheclickedthedisconnectbutton.Shehadnoideawhathe

wastalkingaboutorwhathe’dhavetoletherknowtomorrow.

Rightnow,though,sheneededtogetridofthecurrentMrsDianeSinden.Shetookthe

nextturnalittlefasterthanshe’dintendedandherreartyrespun.

Calmdown,Jordan,youdon’twanttohaveanaccident.You’dlikelywakeuptofind

herstandingoveryou,likeascenefromahorrorfilm.

Shewentleftandthenright,headingtowardthecity.Thebestchancetoloseherwould

beattrafficlights;ifshecouldslipthroughalightabouttoturnred,she’dbeset.Luck
was on her side, and three intersections later, she planted her foot as the light turned
amber.

Twocarswerewaitingtoturnright,andtheyedgedoutafterher,beforeDianehadthe

chancetospeedthroughthelight.Brakessquealed,andJordanwastooscaredtolookin
themirrortoconfirmshe’dlosthertail.Shequicklytookanotherleftoffthemainroad
and then took the first right, where she parked the car on a side street far from a street
light.ShesliddowninherseatandgrabbedherphonetodialLuke.

“Hey,there,”hesaid,andthesmileinhisvoicewarmedherterrifiedinsides.

“Hey.Whereareyou?”

“IwalkedRexandIwasabouttogohome.Whereareyou?”

“Canyoustay?I’monmywayhome.WouldyoumindcomingdowntothecarwhenI

getthere?”

“Ofcoursenot.Howlong?”

“Fiveminutes.I’mjustaroundthecorner.”

“Okiedoke.Seeyousoon.”Hehungupandshesmiledatherphone.Onceagain,the

guywiththepushbikewastheonlyonetheretoholdherhand.

Universe,youaresounfair!

October

ItwasOctoberfirst,andJordanlayinbed,singleandfendingofftextmessagesfrom

dates who’d decided their heart was still with their ex—the same date who had told her
lastnighthowcrazytheexwasandhowshewasruininghislife.

IWISHYOUALLTHEBEST.

Thewordspoppeduponherscreen,andJordansnorted.Rexliftedhisheadtolookat

her, and she pushed his protesting body off the bed with her foot. “That’ll teach you to
lookatmelikethat.Idodgedabulletlastnight,Rexy.”

Shehadadatetonight,andshegroanedwhenshethoughtaboutit.Shewastemptedto

cancel,butthiswasthelastone—thelaststrangershe’dagreedtomeetinthehopesofa
serious relationship coming from it. She could only imagine what new crazy person she
wasabouttoletintoherlife.Surelytherewasnothingelselefttoendure?Couldn’tshe
haveonenicenightoutwithamanwhodidn’tturnouttohaveascrewloose?

It wouldn’t matter after tonight, anyway. The wedding was on the twentieth, and she

would be busy all month helping Shelly make sure all the details were perfect. The
bridesmaiddresseswouldarrivethisweek,andthey’dhavetheirfinalfittings.Shellywas
soexcitedaboutiteverytimetheysawherthatshecouldbarelybreathe.

AmIdisappointedIwon’tbeplanningmybigdayanytimesoon?

Shesmiledtoherselfassherealisedshewasn’tdisappointed,atall.Onceshegotover

the heartache of Richard, she’d realised that she wasn’t compatible with any of the men
she’dspenttimewithduringtheyear.Tryinghardtocreatearelationshipdidn’tmakeit
magicallyhappen.Whentherightmancamealong,she’dknow.

Herphonevibrated,andshepressedthescreentoanswer.“Hi,Mum.Howareyou?”

“I’m perfect,” she said. “I’m picking out my outfit for the wedding today, and I

wonderedifyou’dcomehelpme.Idon’twanttolooklikeanoldlady.”

Jordansmiled.Hermotherhadneveraskedherforhelpwithshopping.

Nor has she ever started a conversation without asking you about your current

boyfriend.

Maybethingswerelookingupforher.

***

Her date insisted he would pick her up and take her to a nearby pub for dinner. Her

desiretocancelfromthemorninghadn’tsubsided,andseveraltimesshe’dnearlysenta
texttogetoutofit.Itwastoolatenow,though:Xavierhadsentamessagetoletherknow
thathewasonhiswayandthatheonlyhadtomakeaquickfuelstop.

Tenminuteslater,herphonebeepedandshemadeherwaydownstairs.Hekissedher

onthecheekandshowedhertohiscar,wheretheymadesmalltalkashedrovedownthe
street and turned at the intersection. They were almost at the pub when he pulled into a
petrolstationandparkedhiscarnearapump.Jordanhadnoticedthathisfuellightwas
on,butshehadn’tmentionedit,assumingitwasbroken.

He faced her with a sheepish look on her face. “Err… Jordan, this is a bit

embarrassing,butdoyouhaveacoupleofdollars?”

“Uhh…sure.”Shepulledoutherwallet,“Howmuchdoyouneed?”

“Honestly,atwodollarcoinwillbefine.Ihavethree,soI’llchuckfivedollarsinand

we’llbeonourway.”

“Didn’tyoujustfuelup?”Shekeptapleasantlookonherfaceasherheartsank.

Herewegoagain.

“Idid,butIhadtousealottogettoyou.Maybenexttimeyoushoulddriveyourself.”

“Really?Youwereminutesawaywhenyoufilleduptwentyminutesago,andnowyou

needfuelagain?”

“Yeah.Mycarusesalotofpetrol,Iguess.”

“Iguessso.Howaboutthis?”Shesmiledathim,hopinghecouldn’tseethescornin

hereyes.“I’llgiveyoutenbucks,soyouhaveenoughfueltogethome,andthenyoucan
dropmehomeandwe’llcallitanight.”

“No,butI—”

Sheraisedherhandtocuthimoff.“It’snotaboutthefactthatyouweregoingtoadd

mytwotoyourwhoppingthreedollars.Iknowthisisn’tgoingtoworkout,andIshould
havecancelledhoursago.”Sheheldouttheten-dollarnote.“Goon,putitin,andwecan
endthissooner.”

Helookedsadashetookthemoneyandwenttothefuelpump.Itwasallshecoulddo

nottoscreamlaughingasshewatchedhimputsixdollarsoffuelinthecar.Hepaid,got
backin,anddidn’tmentionthepricedifference.

Hemustneedthosefewbucks.

Whenhedroppedherhome,sheskippedhappilyupthestairs,safeintheknowledge

thatshewasdonewithdating.

***

Shelly and Boyd’s wedding went off without a hitch. The weather was perfect, the

venuedivine,andthehappycouplebeamedallday.EvenJordan’smothermakingeyesat
herupatthealtercouldn’tdimthehappinessshefeltforherfriends.

There’dbeenanawkwardmomentwithGeorgeatthereception,butshe’dglossedthat

overbyaskingifhe’djackedanycarslately.Hesoondecidedtokeepasfarawayfrom
heraspossible.

Emily,Andrea,andJordansatoutsidehourslater,watchingthebrideandgroommake

theirwayaroundtoeachoftheirguests.Awaiterboughtthemdrinksandcomplimented
them on their beautiful gowns. Lori slipped into the vacant seat beside Andrea and they
heldhands.

“You know, I thought I would feel a little sad for me today. It’s October, and I’m

obviouslynotgoingtogetmarriedbeforewetickoverintotheNewYear.Thiswedding
had the potential to upset me, but I haven’t thought about it at all until now. Even then,
I’monlybringingituptotellyouthatIdon’tthinkIneedtogetmarriedtobehappy.”

“What?”Andreacried.“Afterwe’vetriedtogetyouhitchedallyear?”

“I know!” She laughed, “It seems crazy to me, too, but I’m good with it. The world

willgoon,mymotherwillkeepnagging,andIneedtorelaxandstoptryingsohardto
press my will onto things that need to take their natural course.” She took a sip of her
champagne.

“I’m happy, I’m healthy, I love my job, and I love all of you guys. I’m only twenty-

eightyearsold—that’snothing.Ihaveawholelifetimeaheadofmetotravel,havekids,
andmeetmyperfectmatch,ifthat’swhat’sinstoreforme.”

“Youknow,”EmilysaidwhenJordantookabreath,“sinceyou’vestoppeddrinkingas

much,you’vebeenalotlessworriedaboutthiskindofstuff.”

“Ha! You could be right. I wonder how this conversation would have gone if we’d

gottenshit-faced.I’dprobablybeablubberingmess.”

“Well,drunkpeopledospeakthetruth.”Andrearemindedthemofhermotto.

“Maybeitwouldn’tbeacry-fest,then.IcanhonestlysaythatI’mmoreateasenow

thanIhavebeenatanyothertime.Ievenknockedbackadatefromthecatererearlier.My
new-found peace around marriage could change at any moment, of course, should my
motherwanderpast.”

“What’sthat,dear?”

“Nothing,Mum.Comeandsitdownwithus.”

“Givemeasecond—I’lljusttellLukewhereIam.Idon’twanthimtothinkhe’sbeen

abandoned.” She waved her arm across the green lawn and then settled herself in the
nearestchair.

“TellmeagainhowLukecametothisweddingwithyou.”

“Iinvitedhim,dear.”

“Obviously,butwhyhim?SurelyDadwantedtocome?”

“Nope,hewascontentathome.He’splanningourtriptoParis.”

“You agreed to go to Paris?” Jordan rolled her eyes, and the girls all laughed.

“Finally!”

PatriciasniffedandsmiledatEmilyandAndrea.“IfiguredI’daskforthebestplace

first,”sheconfided,andtheyalllaughedagain.“Anyway,Lukewasaroundmowingthe
lawntohelpDadout,soIthoughtitwouldbeanicerewardforhim.”

“What?”

“Hesometimesdoesthat,dear.It’ssuchanicehelp.HeandDaddidanoilchangeon

thecaracoupleofweeksago.Dadwassoproud—itwashisfirstone.”

Jordandidadoubletakeathermother.“Lukecomestoyourhouseoften?”sheasked,

herfaceapictureofdisbelief.

“Notoften,butmorethanyoudo.”Sheresistedtheurgetorollhereyesathermother.

“It’severyfewweeks,orso.Nextweek,he’sgoingtohangmynewcurtainsinthesitting
room.He’sboughtallthehooksandtherailing,andnowtheyhavetobeinstalled.You
shouldcomeoverwhenhedoesit—maybeyoucouldgivehimalifthimtohelphimout.”

JordanbarkedoutalaughashermotherkeptprattlingonaboutLuke.Shesoonmoved

ontoaskAndreaandLoriwherethey’dmet,andLukewanderingacrossthegrassinhis
suit caught Jordan’s attention. Two small boys were running along beside him and
laughing as he blew bubbles for them from the wedding favours. It was like a scene
straightoutofamovie.

TrustLuketolooksoperfectwithchildrenfallingathisfeet.

November

Emily,Luke,andJordansatinthehotelbaratatableinthecorner.Theywerewaiting

forShellyandBoydtocomedownfromtheirhotelroom,andthebarseemedasgooda
place as any to wait. Emily had volunteered to take them to the airport today for their
officialhoneymoon.

Jordan and Luke had been about to have lunch nearby when Emily had called. Luke

joked now with Emily about her single status, and Jordan’s attention was drawn to the
door,whereasmallscenewastakingplace.

Amanwasloudlyaskingaboutthehygieneoftheattachedrestaurant,andthemaîtred’

wastryingtoquiethimwhileheansweredhisquestions.Themanmakingsuchafusswas
Matt, from the bank. Jordan’s lips twitched as she watched him grilling the staff about
theirprocessesinthekitchen.

Wow.I’msogladIpickedthoseberriesthatday!

She snickered, and Luke turned his attention to her before following her eyes to see

whatwassofunny.“Who’sthat?”

“Oh,youmightbeabletoguess,ifyoulistentotheconversationforaminute.”

Hetunedin,butturnedconfusedeyesonher.“Nope.I’vegotnothing.”

“That,”shetookasipofherdrinkasthevoicesnearthedoorfinallyquieted,“isMatt,

thebankteller.”

“Crazygerm-phobeMatt?”

“The very same.” They watched as he left the restaurant without making a booking,

andLukegrinnedather.

“Luckyescape.”Henodded,andsheputherdrinkonthetable.

“Oh, Jesus, what’s in the water today?” The words escaped her lips before she could

stopthem,andonceagain,Lukefollowedhergaze.

“Thisisgettinginteresting,”helaughedashesawwhoshewaslookingat.“Whichone

ishe?”

“That’sPierre,theFrenchmanwholikestostackhisdatesoneaftertheother.Iwonder

how many there’ll be tonight?” she giggled as he and his date took a seat at the bar. “It
couldn’thappentohimtwice,couldit?”

“Surely he learned his lesson last time?” Luke glanced around the room. “Plenty of

roomformoresuitors.Who’llshowupnext,doyouthink?”

“No one, smartie pants—this is a bizarre coincidence, nothing more. Go back to

teasingEmily.”

“Hecan’t.There’sShellyandBoyd,soIhavetogo.Jordan,Iorderedanachosandit’s

stillnothere.Doyouwantit,orshouldItellthemtocancel?”

“We’lleatit.”

“Awesome.I’lltalktoyoutomorrow.Bye,Luke.”Withthat,shealmostrantothedoor

whereShellyandBoydwerewavingtothem.JordanwavedandLukegavethethumbs-up
sign.

“So,wanttocatchamoviewhilewe’reinthecity?”

“Maybe. Let’s see how long the nachos takes before we decide.” They talked about

Rex and what they planned to buy as Christmas presents, and soon the nachos was
deposited on their table. Of course, the waiter was Geoffrey, and he blushed a deep red
whenhesawhersittingthere.“Hi,Geoffrey.Youchangedrestaurants?”

“Yes. It’s closer to the athletics track here, and pays better money, too. Here’s your

nachos,wouldyoulikeanythingelse?”

“No, thanks,” Luke answered for her. She could tell by the glint in his eye and the

twitchofhislipsthatheknewexactlywhoGeoffreywas.“Actually,doyouhaveanyred
sauce?”heasked.

“Whichoneareyouafter,sir?”

“Youknow,theredone.”Jordanwasdyingtogiggle,butshedidn’tdare.

“Thehotsauce?Likesomechilli,orTabasco?”

“Eitherofthosewilldo,aslongasit’sred.”Heleftwithafrown,andJordankicked

Lukeunderthetable.

“Stopit.He’llworkoutthatItoldyouhewaswearingallredthatday!”

“Hmm…Idon’tthinkso,Jordan.Hedoesn’tseemquitebrightenoughforthat.”

Tabasco sauce was deposited wordlessly on their table, and Geoffrey moved away to

serve another customer. The nachos was hot, and there was a lot of it as they crunched
theirwaythroughthemeal.

“So,threeofyourpotentialsuitorshavebeenherewithinthespaceofanhour.Four,if

youcountme.”

“We’renotcountingyou.”

“Okay,three,then.No,wait,it’sfour.”

“Isaidyoucouldn’tcountyourself.”

“I’m not,” he said with a grin as he nodded over her shoulder at someone who’d

enteredthebar.

Sheclosedhereyes,worriedaboutwhoitcouldbe.

Pleasedon’tletitbeRichard!

FishleanedacrossthetableandshookLuke’shand.“Hey,Iknowyoufromtheclub,

don’tI?Jordan.”Hesmileddownather.“Nicetoseeyouagain.”

“Youtoo,Fish.Whatareyoudoinghere?”

“I’mgoingforajobinterview.ThehotelwantsaDJontheirbooks,sotheycanoffer

alltheservicestopotentialweddingevents.”Helookeduncomfortableashestoodthere,
and Jordan wished he’d go away. Instead, he said, “Uhh… could I borrow you for a
minute?”

“Me?”

“Yes,justforaminute.”HelookedatLuke,“Youdon’tmind,doyou?”

“Of course not—if it’s only for a minute.” Jordan glared at him as she stood and

followedFishtostandafewtablesaway.

Hedidn’twasteanytimegettingtothepoint.“Listen,Ihadareallynicetimewithyou

backinJanuary.Doyouwanttocatchupsometime?Youknow,minusthealcohol?I’ve
tried to ask you a few times, but you’re always with him.” He inclined his head toward
theirtable.

Jordancouldhardlybelieveherears.“Youwanttogoonadate?”

“Ido.Iwanttobeabletorememberit,though.”

Shesmiledathimandpattedhisarm.“I’moffdatingforquiteawhile,butIappreciate

theoffer,Fish,Ido.”Hewasdisappointed,buthetookherrejectionwell.“Don’tletthis
conversationruinyourjobinterview,okay?You’reagreatDJ—you’llkillit.”

“Oh,thanks.”Heperkedupalittleatherpraise,andshereturnedtothetable.

“Thisisbetterthanamovie.Weareabsolutelynotleavinghereanytimesoon.”

“Oh,shutup.Wehavetogetoutofhere.I’mworriedaboutwhatelsecanhappen.I’m

tickingthemoffinmyheadandthere’sonlyafewleft.”

“Whoarewelookingoutfor,then?Icanrecallshark-divingPeterandtheguywiththe

liquorice.”

“OhGod,don’tremindmeabouttheliquorice!There’salsoGeorge,whotriedtoget

mekilledafterbuyingmeaBigMac,”shepaused,reluctanttosayhisname,“and,you
know.”

Lukepattedherhandjustasavoicecalledoutfromacrosstheroom,“Jordan,isthat

you?Whydidn’tyouevercallmeafterthatbaseballgame?”

***

An hour later, they’d gotten rid of David, who’d insisted on sitting at the table and

tryingtogetJordantotellhimwhyhis“quirk”meantshewouldn’tconsideraseconddate
withhim.He’donlyleftwhenLukelosthispatienceandrattledoffaraftofreasonsthat

David didn’t know he was aware of. Realising he knew all about what had gone on
betweentheminMay,hehastilymadehisexcusesandleft.

Jordan was thrilled to see him go. “What the hell is going on today? Why are they

suddenlyalltrackingmedown?”

“It’stheuniversetryingtotellyousomething,”Lukesaidinasing-songvoice,making

funofwhatshe’dbeentellinghimforweeks.“Youbetterworkoutwhatthemessageis
quickly—Idon’tthinkthereareenoughhoursinthedaytohandleallyourdatesshowing
upinonetwenty-fourhourperiod.”Hegrinnedather,andsheflickedherstrawathim.

“Whyareyousomeantome?”sheasked.

“Whyareyousoblind?”hemuttered.

Shedidn’thearhim,though,becauseherphonehadbeeped.Hereyeswidenedasshe

readthemessageandthensheturnedthescreentoshowhim.Lukecouldn’tbelievehis
eyes,either,asheread:

HI,IT’SRICHARD.CANWEMEET?

***

“Ican’tbelieveyou’regoingtomeethim.”

“NeithercanI.Hesaidhe’slefthiswife,though.Hemissesme.”

“He’slying.”Andreaassertedinherusualforcefulway.“Themanispondscum,and

you’relettinghimslitherinthedoor.”

“I agree with you, but I kind of couldn’t resist. It’s only coffee, anyway, and it’s not

until the week before Christmas. Maybe it will be what I need to be able to understand
howthishappenedtome.”

“Maybeitwillbewhatweneedtobeabletobeathimtodeathinanalleyway.”She

lookedatJordanwithoutanounceofhumour.“Afteryourdate,ofcourse—wewouldn’t
wanttomesswithyourclosure.”Shemadeairquotesasshesaidthelastword,andJordan
lookedaway,notwantingtoseethatAndreawasdisgustedbythisnewturnofevents.

December

“That’sit,I’mdone.Fuckthesestupidapps.”Sheswipedthroughherphonetothelast

screen,whereshe’dstoredallthenewappstogether.Deletingthemonebyonegaveher
such relief that she marvelled that she hadn’t thought of it sooner. She deleted the goal-
setting app, too, and even the list of her perfect man. As each one disappeared from the
screen,shefeltaweightliftingoffhershoulders.

“There!”sheannouncedwhentheywereallgone.“I’mfree.Single,butfree.”

“Well, that’s a relief. Now I can go back to trying to woo you in a distraction-free

environment.”Lukelookedatherfromhisspotonthecouch.

“Don’tyoudarestartwithme,LukeTurner.Ineverwanttohearanotherwordabout

dating.I’mdone,totallydone.”Shethrewherphoneontothecoffeetableandlayonthe
couch.Asusual,RexwasgivingallhisdoggylovetoLuke.

“ExceptforyourupcomingdatewithRichard.”

“It’snotadate.It’sjustcoffee.”

“Youshouldtellhimtotakeaflyingleap.”

“Iprobablywill.Ineedtoseehimfirst.”

“WhatifItoldyousomejuicysecretsaboutme?Wouldthatincreasemychances?”

“Nope.I’mdone,remember?Arelationshipisplain,oldhardwork,andIneedarest.

Nomoresurprises—that’swhatI’minthemarketfor,rightnow.”

“Oh, damn.” He flicked through the channels and settled on a replay of the original

CapeFear.“Thislooksgood.Hopeitdoesn’tdredgeuptoomanymemoriesofsurprises.”

“IfIwasn’tfeelingsolazy,I’dthrowsomethingatyou.”

“Guesswecanstayonthisone,then.”Heslippedtheremoteontothetable,butshefelt

himwatchingher,insteadofwatchingthescreen.

“What?”

“Whatdoyoumean?”Hiseyesskatedsidewaystothetelevision.

“Whydoyoukeeplookingatme?”

He sighed and swung his legs off the couch, so he could sit up. Luke picked Rex up

andputhimonthefloor,muchtothedog’sdisgust.“Weneedtotalk.”

“No,wedon’t.Weneedtoliehereandrelax.”

He reached out and pushed a button, and the television flicked off. She groaned and

rolledovertolookathim.“Alright,hurryup.Tellmewhat’ssoimportant,soIcansayno
andwecangobacktorelaxing.”

“I’mnotsurewheretostart.”

Shegroaned,“Startatthebeginning,Luke.”

“Ineedafavouragain.”

“AfavourIcando.Letmeguess:youneedaliftsomewhere?”

“Well, kind of.” She watched him beat around the bush, and his features rearranged

themselves.

Helooks…almostguilty.

Shesighedandsatup,stretchingherlegsoutinfrontofher.“Tellmewhatyouneed.”

“Mymotorbikeisbeingserviced,andIneedyoutodropmetogetitandthenfollow

mehome.There’sastormpredicted,soI’dkindoflikesomeonetomakesureIgethome
inonepiece.”

“Yourmotorbike?Whendidyougetamotorbike?”

“Aboutthreeyearsago.”

“Whyhaven’tIeverseenit?”

“Because I keep my pushbike at work and use it to ride around town whenever I go

out.Themotorbikeistogetmetoandfromwork.”

Shenarrowedhereyes.“Wheredoyouwork?I’vealwayswantedtoaskyou.”

“Threeblocksaway,onthemainstreet.”

“Whichbusiness?”

“Turner’sShopfitting.Igaveyoumycard.”

“Oh,thatbigstore?Isn’tthereabusinessnextdoorwiththesamename?Turner’sCar

Mechanic,orsomething?”

“Yep.Turner’sAutoTune.”

“That’sit.I’vealwaysthoughtitwasacoincidencethattwodifferentbusinesseslike

thathadthesamefirstword.Iguess‘Turner’isprettycommon.”

“Guessso.”Hewaswatchingherastheyhadthisinaneconversationbackandforth,

andshescowledasshegotuptogetherbagandkeys.

Asshewasslippinghershoeson,shenoticedhehadn’tmovedoffthecouch.“Arewe

going?”

“Yep.”Hefinallyrousedhimselfandputthedoginthelaundry.Whenhecameback,

thestrainedlookonhisfacewasstillthere.

“Areyouokay?”

“Sure.Neverbetter.”

“Alright,weirdo.Let’sgo,then.”

ShedrovedownthestreetandparkedoutsidetheAutoTuneshop.Itwaspeakhour,

and she’d promised to follow him home to drop off the bike. He got out and walked
towardtheentrance,andastaffmemberdressedinayellowpolocameoutandhigh-fived
himashewalkedpast.

He disappeared inside, and then came out and walked toward a huge motorcycle

nestledaroundthesideofthebuilding.Theblackbeastsprangtolife,andshewatchedas
he tightened the strap on his matte black helmet. On the side of the helmet was a shiny
goldT.Hereyesglancedbacktotheshopfront;theTmatchedthestyleandcolourofthe
oneonthesign.Craningherhead,shecouldmakeouttheShopfittingsignnextdoor.The
sameTstaredatherinthesamegoldcolour.

Shit.

ShesuddenlyrealisedthatLukedidhaveajob.HislastnamewasTurner,andbothof

thesebusinesseswerenamedafterTurners.Howhadshenotknownthis?

Becauseyoulosthisbusinesscard.Thiscan’tberight,anyway.Themanisalwaysat

myhouse—henevergoestowork!

***

She followed at a safe distance, squinting through the window to see him in the

pouring rain. She felt so sorry for him, having to ride in this weather, but he was
determinedtogetthebikehome.

Whycouldn’thejustagreetocometomorrow?Thisisbullshit.

The radio announcer stopped talking, and the first chords of her favourite song rang

out, so she cranked up the volume. Jordan drove behind him, singing as loudly as she
could,andsuddenlytheraindidn’tseemsoawful,anymore.They’dbeathisplacesoon,
andshecouldturnaroundandgetbacktothegirlsbeforetheyevenrealisedshewaslate.

She laughed to herself as she replayed the first time she and Luke had met. She’d

dismissed him out of hand that day because he rode a pushbike, and now here she was,
following him home on another bike. Why couldn’t this impossible man have bought
himself a car and ticked off the last item on her list? She snorted in the darkness as he
carefully took a turn on the slick road. That stupid list—she’d thought it was the right
thingtodoallthosemonthsago,butithadturnedouttobeoneoftheworstideasshe’d
everhad.Ifthey’dneverwrittenthatlist,she’dprobablyhavegoneonadatewithLuke.

Youprobablywouldn’tbefriends,though.Adatewouldhavemessedthatup.

Itwastrue.Hewassosexyandhadsuchagoodheart,aswell,thatsheprobablywould

havefallenforhim,ifthey’dstarteddating.Itwasbetterthisway;agirlneededagreat
guyfriendinlife,andLukewashers.

***

He pulled over to the shoulder and she tucked in behind him, making sure the

headlightswerepointedtowardthebike.Therainhadstopped,andsheleftthecardoor
open as she went to see what was wrong. He was bent over beside the bike, shining a
flashlightunderneaththetyreasmusicpulsedoutofhercar.

“What’swrong?”Shehadtoraisehervoiceoverthemusic.

Oops,shouldhaveturneditdownabitmore.

“There’ssomethingrattling.”

“Oh.Isthatbad?”

“Notonacar,butonthebike,itcanbeaproblem.Idon’twantyoutohavetoscrape

meofftheroadatthenextcorner.”

She hummed along to the music as he continued his examination. Every so often, a

drop or two of water fell from the sky. He reached into a compartment in the seat and
withdrewacoupleofhandtools.Tinkeringwithascrewhereandthere,tighteningeach
one he came across, he finally satisfied himself that all was well. Luke stood up and
turnedtoher.Anewsonghadstartedontheradio,andshefeltatugatherheartstringsas
sherecognisedthetune.

Herecognisesit,too.

He took her hand and pulled her toward him as she grinned at him. “What are you

doing?”

His other arm snaked around her waist, and her hand rested on his shoulder as he

spoke.“Didyouknowthisisthefirstsongweeverdancedto?”Heblinkedasshestared
athim.“TheonlysongI’veeverwantedtodancetoagainandagain.”Hemovedagainst
her,swayingintheheadlightstothegentlebeatofthemusic.

“Aww… we have a song.” She smiled and moved with him. “Normally, a couple

havingasongisreservedforwhenthey’rehavingsex—orforwhenthey’reonlysixteen,
youknow.”

Hesmiledasadsmileather.“Weareneitherofthosethings.”

She watched him watching her as he pushed her away slightly and twirled her under

hisarm.Hersmilewascontagiouswhenshemovedbacktohim,andhetookherinhis
armsagain.Tinydropsofrainbegantofallonthem,andthewaterbeadedontopoftheir
hairastheymovedclosetogether.Shewantedtoclosehereyesandenjoythemoment,but
shedidn’tdare.Shedidn’twanthimtothinkshefeltsomethingforhimthatshedidn’t.

“CancelyourdatewithRichardtomorrow.Comeoutwithme,instead,”hewhispered

intoherhair.

“Luke,we’vebeenthroughthis,”shepulledaway,andshefeltlikeapartofherhad

beenlost.Therainfeltcolderonherskin,nowthatshewasn’tsnuggleduptohim.“He
meets—”

“Allthecriteria,yeah,Iknow.Heticksallthestupidboxesonyourstupidlistthatyou

wrotewhenyouwerestupidlydrunklastyear.”Hegrabbedherhandandpressedittohis
chest. “Does he tick the most important boxes for you, though? The ones you forgot to
include when you made the damn list? The ones where he makes your heart sing when
youseehimacrosstheroom?Theboxthatsaysheknowswhatyou’rethinkingwhenhe
putsapieceofhottoastinyourhandinthemorningwithoutyouhavingtoask?Thebox
that,whenit’sticked,makesyouawareofhimineveryfibreofyourbeing?”Helooked
intohereyes,daringhertoarguewithhim.“YouknowaswellasIdothattheonlyone
whotickseverysingleoneofthoseboxesforyou,”heranhisfingerdownhercheekand
squeezedherhandalittletighter,“isme.”

She struggled to breathe as a hot flush crept up her body. Being this close to him

alwaysmadeherfeellikethis.She’dalwaysthoughtitwasembarrassment,butnowshe
couldadmittoherself;thisfeelinghadheranythingbutembarrassed.

“Whyareyoudoingthisnow?Afterallthistime,whynow?”shewhisperedtohim.

“Youmadeitquiteclearveryearlyonthatyouweren’tinterestedinme.”

“Whydidn’tyoupursueme,then?”

“Because, by all accounts, you’d already said no. You want someone to love and

cherish you, Jordan, but don’t forget that we men need that, too. Why would I want to
chasesomeonewhothinksI’mnotgoodenough?Yousawmeleaveonmybikeandyou
put me in a box that didn’t meet your needs. I didn’t feel like proving myself to you; I
thoughtyou’drealisewhoIwasandwhatIstoodforbyyourself.

“I was mistaken, though, so I’m doing it now. I can’t bear to watch you make plans

withthatasshole.Don’tmakeahugemistakebylettingmegetaway.Idon’tthinkIcan
befriendswithyou,anymore,Jordan.Watchingyoudateallyearhasnearlykilledme.

“Let me take you on a date, please. Cancel with Richard and let me have Christmas

Eve.Ifit’sweird,we’llforgetaboutitandI’llnevermentionitagain.I’llbethebestguy
friendyoueverhad.”Hesqueezedhertightagainsthimandshefeltafreshsurgeoflust
pulse through her. “Give me a chance to show you how good we could be together,
Jordan.”

***

Luke picked her up in a yellow Toyota right on seven o’clock on the twenty-fourth.

She’dhadvisionsofridingonthebackofthemotorbikeandshe’ddressedappropriately,
soshewasalmostdisappointedwhenshesawhimwalktothepassenger’ssideofthecar
andopenthedoorforher.“What’sthis?Didyoustealacarforme?”

“I would totally steal a car for you, but on this occasion, I borrowed it from my

brother.”

“It’snice.Ilikeyellow,”shesaidassheslippedintotheseatbeforehebangedthedoor

shut.

Asheclimbedinhisside,hefeltobligedtoexplainthecar.“It’snotbrandnew,butit’s

cleanand—”

“Stop,Luke.Idon’tneedthehistoryofthecar.I’dhavebeenhappytogoonthebike

—ortotakeataxi,oreventhebus.”Sheputherhandonhislegashepulledoutintothe
traffic. “I think you’re more obsessed by the list than I am. Let’s relax and have a nice
eveningtogether.”Hegrinnedatherandshewatchedasreliefwashedoverhisfeatures.
His smile widened further as he relaxed, and she knew they would have a great night
together.“Whereareyoutakingme,anyway?”

“It’sasurprise,butIknowyou’llloveit.”Hewatchedtheroad,glancingatherevery

sooftenwhenhethoughtshewasn’tlooking.Theydrovetowardthebay,andthecarwas
soonslidingintoaparkingspotbesidethebeach.Sheopenedherdoortogetout,muchto
hisdisgust,andbangeditclosedbehindher.Hepressedthecentrallockingbuttonasshe
lookedacrossthewaterandhestartedtotellherwheretheyweregoingfordinner.When
sheswungaroundtolookathimsheletoutaloudcry.

Herushedtohersideandfoundherbentover,holdingherfaceandmoaning.“What

happened?Areyouokay?Standupandshowme!”

“I’m fine.” Her muffled voice sounded anything but fine. “Give me a second.” Her

voice was thick, like she was holding back tears, and he kept his hand on her shoulder,
waiting for her to stand upright and tell him what had happened. She finally took a
sobbingbreathandstraightened,andhegaspedassheeasedherhandawayfromhereye.

“OhGod,weneedadoctor.Youarenotfine,Jordan.”Heclickedthebuttontounlock

thecar,butshesteppedawayfromhim.

“No,wait,Ithinkitwillbefine.Canyougivemeasecond?Wecanstillgotodinner,”

shepleaded.“I’vebeenlookingforwardtoit—Idon’twantournighttoberuined.What
hitme,anyway?Didyousee?”

“Ididn’tseeanything.Didsomethingflypast?”

“No,itwasontheroofofthecar.Ididn’tseeit—justfeltitwhackme.”

Heturnedaroundtoseewhatcouldhavehither,andhiseyesfellontheroofracks.His

brotherdidalotofextremesports,andhisroofracksstuckoutfromtheedgeofthecar.
Shemusthaveleanedintoofarandwalkedintotheedgeofthenearestone—withalotof
force,judgingbytheenormouseggnowgrowingonhereyelid.

“It’stheroofrack.Itmusthavehityou.Goddammit,whydidn’tIbringthebike?”He

stampedhisfootlikeasmallchild,andsheheardhimbangthesideofthecar.“Ofallthe
stupidwaystoruinournight,ithadtobeaboutmemakingthedamnlist,”hemuttered.

“Whatdidyousay?”Herhandwasoverhereye,andshewascarefullysteppingonto

thegrass.

“Nothing.Here,don’tmovewithoutme.Letmeholdyourhand,soyoudon’tfallover.

Canyouevenseeoutthateye?”

Shescoffed.“OfcourseIcan—don’tbesilly.Comeon,let’sgoeat.We’llgetanice

packandit’llbefine.”

“Idon’tknow,Jordan,youhaven’tseenit.Thewaitstaffwillthinkwe’vehadafight

inthecarandIpunchedyou.”

Shelaughedandafewtearsslippeddownhercheek.“Don’tbesilly.I’lltellthemwhat

happened,andit’llbefine.”

“You’ve said that a few times, now. I’m unconvinced, but I’ll let you have your way

for a little bit longer. Here,” he wrapped one arm around her back and clasped her free
hand with the other, “let me guide you. I don’t want anything else happening to you
tonight.”

Theymadetheirwaytotherestaurant,andasexpected,thestaffrushedtogetanice

pack.TheyshotnastylooksatLukeashetriedtoexplainwhathadhappenedtoher.

“I’m sure she walked into something, sir. Is this the first time she’s walked into that

somethingwhilstinyourcompany?”

“Iknowhowitlooks,butIpromiseyoushedidn’twanttogotothedoctor.Thisisour

firstdate.”

“Well,it’ssuretobememorableforyouboth.”Hetookhisdisapprovingstarebackto

the bar and returned with menus and water for the table. Jordan had returned from the
bathroom,whereshe’dcheckedthedamageforherself.Lukecouldtellshewasputtingon
abraveface,butallhewantedtodowasgethertoadoctor.

“Comeon,let’sorder.”Sheclosedhermenuandaddressedthewaiterwhohadtaken

theirdrinkorder.“What’sgoodhere?”

HeglancedatLuke,whopursedhislipsandnoddedinherdirection.Thewaiterthen

rattledoffhisthreefavouritedishes,andshechoseonethatsoundedgood.Lukeordereda
steak,andtheyweresoonaloneatthetable.Hereachedacrosstoholdherhand,andshe
smiledawaterysmileinhisdirection.

“Thanksforputtingupwithme.Ican’tbelieveIwassoclumsy.”

“Ican’tbelievewe’resittinghere,insteadofintheemergencyroom.”

Shesniffedandsmiledasbestshecouldassheheldtheicepacktoherfacewithher

freehand.“Wecan’thaveourfirstdateinahospital—it’sabadomen,surely.”Shewas
making light of her injury, but he couldn’t help but watch her with a worried frown. A
bruisehadstartedtoappearonhercheekbone,inchesfromwheretheroofrackhadmade
contact.Heworriedshe’dbrokenaboneordonesomeotherseriousdamage.

“Wecangoonadatesomeothertime,Jordan.Youdon’thavetobebrave.”

“I’m good, really, I am.” She tried to reassure him and might have succeeded, if a

womanwalkingpasttheirtablehadn’tskiddedtoahaltbesidethem.

“Whathappenedtoyou?”sheasked,throwinganangryglareinLuke’sdirection.“Are

youalright,dear?Thatlooksnasty.”Jordanpulledtheicepackawayfromherface.The
brightlightsoftherestauranthurt,andsheclosedhereyeslongenoughtomissthewoman
recoilinginshockwhenshesawherdamagedeye.“Ohmygoodness!Whyaren’tyouat
thehospital?”SheturnedhersteelyglareonLuke,“Whythehellareyoucalmlysitting
therewhenyoushouldbeseekingurgentmedicaltreatment,youlazysod?”

Hethrewuphishandsatthislatestassaultonhischaracter.“Youtellherthat.Iwantto

takehertothehospital,butshewon’tgo.Shesaysshe’sfine.”Hecrossedhisarmsover
hischestandglaredatthestranger,whoturnedbacktoJordan.

“Areyoucertain,dear?Itlookspainful.”

“Itlooksworsethanitis,Ipromise.Ifitdoesn’tfeelbetterlater,we’lldefinitelygoto

the hospital. Thanks so much for your concern; it’s lovely of you to stop and check.”
Whenshehadfinallyconvincedthewomantoreturntohertable,sheputtheicepackon
hereyeagainandtiltedherheadbackward.“Peoplearesoconcernedaboutme.Hownice
isthat?Ifyoureallydidhitme,someonewouldhavesteppedupandgottenmeawayfrom
you.I’mquiteheartenedaboutthestateoftheworld.”Hedidn’tanswer,andshelookedat
him sideways, her one good eye focussing on him. His expression would have been
comical,ifnotforthehauntedlookinhiseyes,andshesuddenlyworriedthatshe’dtotally
turnedhimoffwantingarelationshipwithher.“What?Areyougoingtohavenightmares
overthis?”

Heburstoutlaughingandthenlookedashamedofhimself.“Stopit,”hehissedunder

hisbreath.“Peoplearestaringatus,andnowtheythinkI’mlaughingatyou.I’mnever
goingtobeallowedtocomehereagain.I’msurprisedsomeonehasn’tcalledthepolice,
already.”

“Oh,you’remakingthisintosuchabigdeal.”Shelaidtheicepackonthetableandhe

gasped as he saw the change in her skin. Her eye was now purple and black, and she
lookedlikeshe’dsurvivedacaraccident.Tearscontinuedtotrickledownherface,andhe
couldn’ttellifhereyewasstreamingorifshewasactuallycrying.

Theirmealarrivedatthatmoment,andthewaiterputtheplatesinfrontofthembefore

turningaway.Hetookonestepandthenseemedtoarguewithhimselfandturnedback.
He addressed Jordan, even though she couldn’t see him standing there. “Madam, would
youpleaseallowmetocalladoctorforyou?Please!”

“Honestly,whatiseveryonefreakingoutabout?”Shegingerlytouchedhereyelidand

Luke saw her wince. “Let us eat our dinner and we’ll go and find a doctor ourselves,
okay?Doesthatmakeyoufeelbetter?”

“Oh, yes, madam. Thank you. Now I’ll be able to assure the other diners that you’re

going to see someone. Please don’t take too long—many people are concerned about
you.”

Hestalkedawaytothekitchen,havingglaredatLukeonelasttime.Jordanpickedup

herforkandstartedeatingherpasta.Shehadtroublerollingitupashereyecontinuedto

stream fresh tears, but she took her first mouthful and smiled at Luke as he cut into his
steak and watched her carefully between bites. He didn’t miss the small wince as she
chewedandswallowed.

Hissteakdisappearedinrecordtime,andshewassurprisedwhenhiscutleryclattered

ontohisemptyplate.“Gee,youatethatquick.RemindsmeofanotherdateI’vebeenon
thisyear.Doyouhavesomewheretobefordatenumbertwotonight?”Shelaughedand
thenstoppedasheglaredather.“What?”

“That’snotfunnyandyouknowit.I’vewaitedmonthstotakeyouout.Iwatchedyou

gooutwitheveryidiotwhocamealongbecauseofsomestupidrulesandastupidlist.I’ve
worriedaboutwhoyouwerewithandifyouweregettinghomesafely,andeverytimeyou
managedtogetoutunscathed.Nomatterhowawfulthedatewas,youkeptyoursenseof
humourandnevergaveup.”Hepulledhishandthroughhishairandtheusually-smooth
wave stuck up in all directions. “Now, here we are, on what I planned would be the
romantic evening of the year, just for the two of us, and you’ve sustained more damage
thananyothernightout.Afterspendingthenightwithme,you’llbegoinghomewitha
possibleconcussionandthepossiblepromiseofplasticsurgery.I’mpissed—”

“Wait, what? Plastic surgery? What are you talking about?” She seemed genuinely

confusedathiswords.

“Jesus Christ, Jordan, that’s it.” He leaped out of his chair and removed the cutlery

from her hands, throwing it into her bowl. He knew the other patrons in the restaurant
werestaringathim,andhedidn’tmissthegentlemanthreetablesawaywhostoodfrom
hisseat.Heneededhertounderstandwhathadhappenedtohertonight.“Comeon,we’re
goingtothebathroom,”hesaidmoregrufflythanhe’dintended.“I’llgetyourbag.”

She didn’t move, but stood there with her head bowed. He held out his hand to her.

“Comeon,Jordan,Ineedyoutoseeyourfaceinthemirror.”Shedidn’ttakehishand,but
liftedherheadslightly,sohecouldseethatshewascryingrealtears,now—big,fattears
that slid down her cheeks and dripped onto her shirt. “Hey, what’s wrong, now?” He
movedcloserandtookherhandbeforesheletoutarackingsob.

“Ican’tseeyou.I’vetriedtobebrave,butIcan’tgotothebathroomonmyownagain,

becauseIcan’tseeatalloutofmyeye.”Shewaswailing,now,andhewrappedhisarms
around her and gently helped her toward the back, where the toilets were located. She
continuedtosobastheywalkedtogether,andsheclaspedhishandtightly.

“Whydidn’tyouletmetakeyousooner?”hewhisperedintoherhair.

“Ididn’twanttoruinourdateanymorethanitalreadywas.Iwantedthistoo,Luke—

don’tthinkthatIdidn’t.”

They reached the bathroom and he took her straight into the ladies, ignoring the

womanwhoglaredathimastheyentered.Everypatroninthisrestauranthadglaredhim
attonightandonemorewasn’tgoingtohurt.Hestoodherinfrontofthemirrorandshe
removedherhandfromhereyewhereshe’dbeenshieldingitfromtheotherguests.Her
gasp as her good eye finally focussed on the mirror told him she’d finally grasped how

seriousthesituationwas.

Hewatchedevenmoretearsstartthetrekdownhercheeksasheasked,“CanIplease

takeyoutothehospital,now?”

***

Christmas Day was a quiet affair. Luke refused to leave Jordan’s side, still blaming

himself for her injury. He accompanied her to lunch at her parents’ and fended off her
mother’squestionsaboutwhyshe’dbeensoclumsy.Severaltimes,hermotherannounced
whatagodsenditwasthatLukehadbeenwithher.Jordancouldn’tevengrindherteeth,
becauseithurttoomuch.

After lunch, she was sitting at the kitchen table as her mother washed up the dishes.

Lukeandherdadhadbeenbanishedtotheloungeroom,eventhoughtheykeptinsisting
theyshouldhelp.Jordanknewhermotherwantedtogetheralone.

Assoonasthedisheswerecleanedandputaway,hermotherjoinedheratthetable.

“What’sgoingonwithyoutwo?Isawhimholdingyourhand.”

“It’searlydays,Mum.Weonlywentonourfirstdatelastnight,andlookhowitturned

out.”

Hermothergiggled,“Yousuredidtryhardtodrivehimaway.”ShesqueezedJordan’s

handandwhisperedacrossthetabletoher.“He’sagoodboy,Jordan,andhe’dbeluckyto
haveyou.”

Shelookedathermotherthroughhergoodeye.Abandagecoveredthedamagedone,

and the doctor had advised that it could be several weeks before her sight returned to
normal.“That’sdifferentthanwhatyouusuallysay.”

“Oh, take no notice of me—I just want you to be happy. If Luke can make you as

happyasyoudeserve,we’llgladlykeephim.I’mgoingtotakehimtotheclubintheNew
Yearandteachhimhowtoplaybridge.”

Jordanlaughedoutloud,“Haveyoutoldhimthat,yet?”

“Ofcourse!Itwashisidea.Helikesusasmuchaswelikehim,youknow.”

Shesmiledathermotheracrossthetableandrealisedhermumanddadmightknow

Lukeevenbetterthanshedid.

***

“I don’t want to go. Couldn’t we go to someone’s house, instead?” Jordan

contemplatedaNewYear’sEveinthesameplaceshe’dmadeherresolutionlastyear.It
wouldn’thavebeensoawful,exceptthatshewassuretoseeFishthere.Shehadtowear

flatshoes,too,sinceherbalancewasoffwithoneeyestillcovered.

Luke took her hand and pulled her attention away from the mirror, “We can do

anythingyouwanttodo.Ifyouwanttostayhome,wewill.”

Sheleanedherheadagainsthischest.Shedidwanttostayhome,butshedidn’twant

everyonetothinkshewassulking.“Fine,I’llgo.Canwesitinadarkcorner,soeveryone
doesn’tstareatthecyclops?”

Helaughedandkissedherontheforehead,“You’llbethemostbeautifulcyclopsatthe

party.Now,letmegrabaquickshowerandI’llbereadytogo.”

She watched him drop his clothes on the bedroom floor and retreat to the bathroom.

Her mouth watered as he moved across the room, and if she hadn’t been under doctor’s
orderstokeepherinjurydry,shewouldhavefollowedhimintotheshower.

She sighed. That would have to wait for another few weeks. It was definitely

somethingtolookforwardto,though.Shetidiedthebedwherethey’dhadalateafternoon
naptoprepareforthelongnightahead,andshebentdownawkwardlytopullahandbag
fromwhereitwaswedgedbetweenherbedandthesidetable.

I’vebeenlookingeverywhereforthis!

Sheopenedthebagtoclearoutanyitemsfromthelasttimeshe’dusedit,whichmust

havebeenatleastsixmonthsago.Shepulledoutallthecrumpledtissuesandnapkinsand
droppedthemontothebed,whileshekeptdiggingaround.Oneofthenapkinscaughther
eye,andshepickeditupandunfoldedittofindtheoriginallistfromlastNewYear’sEve,
where they’d documented her perfect man. She smiled to herself as she read down the
items.Witheachone,shecouldn’thelpbutcompareittothemansingingaDollyParton
songinhershowerrightnow.

Luke was everything on this list, it turned out. He was taller than Jordan by several

inches,healwaysmadeherlaugh,andtherewasn’takidanywherewhodidn’tlovehim.
HewasalreadyplanningtheirfirstholidaytogetherfornextEaster,andhetreatedherso
wellthatsometimessheworrieditwouldallgoaway.Althoughhe’dkeptitmostlysecret
until recently, he did, indeed, have a job—or his staff did. His two businesses both had
managerstoruntheday-to-dayoperations,soitwasnowonderhe’dbeenatherhouseso
much.

He didn’t have a car, but he did have a house that he’d finally let her see inside two

nights after they’d dropped off the motorbike. She could make that small concession to
him.Aboveallelse,hehadthatmagic,standoutitem:helookedfantasticinhisjeans!

Shewalkedcarefullytotheendofthebedandsatdownassheconsideredhowclose

she’dcometoshuttinghimoutbecauseofasillylist.Shecouldn’tbelievehowchildish
thatseemed,now,anditwasheroneregretabouttheirrelationship.

Notthecrazydates,orthelife-threateningmomentsofthelastyear.I’ddoallofthose

again,andmore.

She wished above all else that she’d seen the goodness in Luke months earlier. Her

motherhadpickeduponit,butithadtakenJordanalittlelonger.

She bent down to pick up his discarded clothes from the floor. She was still being

careful moving around the house on her own; Rex had tripped her up twice, and she
wasn’ttakingachanceonathirdtime.

Lukeopenedthedoorandcameoutwiththetowelwrappedaroundhim,attheexact

moment she shook his jeans out to fold them up. She saw him frown and then heard
somethingdropontothefloornearherfoot.Whenshereacheddowntopickitup,Luke
jumpedforwardandsnatcheditoutofherhand.

“Hey,whatisthat?”

“Can’ttellyou,”hesaidashehastilytuckeditbackintothepocketofhisjeans.

“Oh,nofair.Ifoundit.Nowyouhavetoshowme.”

“No,Jordan.Itcanwait.”Hepulledonhisjeansandthengrabbedacleanshirtfrom

thecupboardasshetriedagain.

“You can show me. It’s not like I can even see properly—you’ll probably have to

explain what it is.” She laughed at the surprised look on his face and his now-obvious
worryoverwhatshe’dsaid.

“Oh,crap.Thisisn’thowIwantedtodothis.”

“Dowhat?Whatareyouramblingabout?”

“Shit.”

“Luke,what’swrong?”Shewasworried,now.Histonewasnothisusualcheeryone,

anddreadgrippedherinsides.

“Stand up,” he said, and she quickly did as she was asked. Whatever this bad news

was,shewantedtogetitoverwithasquicklyaspossible.Hetookadeepbreath,likehe
was about to give a prepared speech. “Jordan, do you remember this time last year, you
madethatlistanddecidedtocommitallthosedatingcrimeswiththestrangemenofthe
world?”

Shelaughedandrelaxedalittle.Hewasbacktohisoldself.“Idoremember.Iactually

foundtheoriginalhandwrittenlistwhileyouwereintheshower.”

“Iwasonlyintherefiveminutes;yousuregotbusyduringthattime,didn’tyou?He

ranhisfingersthroughhiswethairandtriedtoregainhistrainofthought.“Anyway,what
youwantedaboveeverythingelseistobemarried.Isthatstillthecase?”

“No.”

His face registered his shock at her unexpected answer. “Wait, what? What do you

mean?”

“Well,nowIhaveyou.”

“So,nowyoudon’tneedtogetmarried?”

“No,silly.NowI’mnotfeelinglikeI’llendupanoldspinster—nowI’mhappywith

whateverdevelopsbetweenus.IfeellikeIwastedawholeyear,andnowIneedtomake
sureIdoeverythingtogettoknowtherealyou.”

“Oh.”Hewasfrowningagain.“Well,thatshouldbeeasy.Iwastherealmeallyear—

especiallywhenIwassnoringonyourcouch.”

Shelaughedandwrappedherarmsaroundhiswaist.“Areyougoingtogettothepoint

soon?Ineedtochangemyclothes.”

“Okay,bossymuch?Youtotallyaregoingtoturnintoyourmother,justsoyouknow.”

“Oh, how to ruin the mood,” she said, laughing and pulling away. “Come on, spit it

out.”

“Alright,sorry.WhatIwastryingtosayis,”hepulledaringfromtheboxhe’dbeen

tryingtohideinhispocket,“wouldyoumakemethehappiestmanaliveandmarryme,
JordanParker?”

Hermouthfellopenasheheldtheringupforhertosee.Shelookedfromittohimand

wasspeechless.Helaughedandkissedhernose,butshewasstillsilent.

“Well?”

“Why?Whywouldyouaskmethat?”

“BecauseIwanttomarryyou.Iwanttomakesurethatwe’retogetheralways.Iwant

towakeupnexttoyouandgotosleepwithyouinmyarms.Oh,andIreallyloveyour
dog—Iwantustobeafamily.”

She frowned as she stared at the ring. “You’re not asking me because you think it’s

whatIwant?”

“Noway,baby.It’sallaboutme.I’maskingyoubecauseit’swantIwant.Now,come

on, I’m waiting for an official answer. I expected a lot more screaming than this.” He
smiledather,butshecouldseeshe’dmadehimuncertain.

“Okay,I’llacceptyouroffer…ononecondition.”

“What’sthat?”

“Wehaveaverylongengagement.Idon’twantustorushintothis.Afterall,weonly

hadourfirstdateaweekago.”

“Icandolong-ish,butnottoolong.CanwegetmarriednextyearonNewYear’sEve?

Doyouthinkthat’sagoodidea?”

“Ido,”shesaid.Hiseyeswidenedashesuddenlyrealisedthatshewasacceptinghis

proposal.Heletoutashoutashekissedherandsqueezedhertightlyagainsthim,andthen
hepulledawaytopushthesparklingringontoheroutstretchedfinger.

AloudbarkfromRexsealedthedeal.Theyreallyweregoingtobeafamily.

TheEnd

Acknowledgment

Thepeoplewhoneedthemostacknowledgmentinthecreationofthisbookaremy

fabulousreaders.ThisbookwashalfwritteninmyheadwhenIrealisedtherewouldbea
lotmorecharactersthanIusuallywriteintoastory.SoIranafuncompetitiontogivemy
readersthechancetobeincludedinmybook.

Iwasn’ttoosurewhatresponseI’dgetbutIwasblownawaybytheentries!Notonly

did people enter, their entries were hilarious, touching and outrageous. Where I thought
I’dhaveahandfulofwinners,Iendedupchoosingseventeenwinnersinstead!!

Some of the dates poor Jordan had to endure are straight from my reader’s

imaginations. The winners of my competition have characters named after them in this
book but for clarity’s sake, their names are listed here. I’ll leave it up to you to wonder
whosubmittedwhichidea!

Specialthanksgoestothesereaders(innoparticularorder):

AracelisVestal

CindyMerrill

PatriciaHoffstaetter

ShellyCross

LoriByrd

TinaJones

BonnieBrown

AllyHastings

SarahFlannery

LoriShore

MeganCoppadge

RachelCanales

EmilyPennington

DianeSinden

AndreaHilton

ShannonMolloy

MeganVarnell

MarriedThisYearwasoriginallyintendedtobeastandalonenovel.LikemanythatI’ve
written,however,thisbookhadquirkycharactersthatbeggedformoreattention.4books
worthofmoreattention!

Ifyoulovedthisstoryanddon’twantthelaughtertoend,checkoutMarriedThisYear2
&3onmy

Amazonauthorpage

andstaytunedforthefinalbook4whichwillreleasemid

September.

SneakPeek

I always hate waiting for new books in a series to be released, so while you’re waiting,
here’s a sneak peak of my previous book, Contracted For Love to tide you over. Here’s
whatyoucanexpect:

Twopeople.Totalstrangers.Askedtoconvincetheworldthatthey’reinlove

Imagine if your favourite engaged celebrities weren’t really in love. Imagine if their
relationshipwascookeduptoboosttheircareers.Whatifeverythingwasfake?Fromthe
holidays,thepublicromance,rightdowntothebedroomantics?

That’sexactlywhatyou’lldiscoverinContractedForLove.

Potty-mouthedCharlotteShiptonandchild-starJackFawknerstrikeadealwhenbothput
their signatures to an unlikely, and top secret, marriage contract. She’ll rise through the
unknownranksinHollywood.He’llshowtheworldhe’sleftbehindhistap-dancingchild-
stardays.Together,they’llsettheworld’sheartsonfire,whileignoringtheirownsecret
desires.

Onlytimewilltellifthetruthwilltearthemapart,oriftheirsecretwillstaylockedaway,
alongwiththecontract.

ContractedForLoveisarollercoasterrideofcrazyactivity,fromthefirstmomentthey
meet,totheirParisvacationunderthegazeofthemediaandtheconstantpressuresofa
famous rockstar and his crazy bandmates. You’ll laugh out loud as Charlotte makes her
markonJackFawknerandhisheart!

ContractedForLove

“What.The.Actual.Fuck?”

Charlotte Shipton stood open-mouthed as she stared at Jack Fawkner across the

conference room table. His fat, balding manager, Freddy Caspian, was grinning like an
idiot who’d just won the lotto and would be broke within a month. Her own partner in
crime,JayStevens,wasgrinningjustaswidely,whichwasthepartshecouldn’tactually
believe. “Did you really just say you think we should get married, Jay? The two of us,”
sheindicatedherselfandJack,“whojustmet,”shecheckedheriPhonewiththepushof
thehomekey,“seventeenminutesago?”

“Charlotte,calmdown.Letmeexplainwhythisissuchagoodidea.”

“Thisisnotafuckinggoodidea,Jay.”

“You were right about the potty mouth,” Freddy said quietly, to no one in particular.

Jaysighedandglaredathim.

“Afuckingpottymouth?That’swhatyouthinkIhave?Icantellyou,Mr.FatFuck,

thatIhavesomuchmorewherethatcamefromthatit’snotevenfunny.”Shecrossedher
armsacrossheramplechestandglaredathim,daringhimtosayanotherword.Hefinally
lookedawayandsheturnedhericystareonJack.“Didyouknowaboutthisbullshit?”

Jackputhishandsup,asthoughtowardoffthesun.“Woah,don’tturnyourspotlight

on me. I’m hearing this for the first time, too.” He turned to Freddy. “What were you
thinking?WhywouldIwanttomarryher?”heflickedhisheadatCharlottedismissively.

JaypipedupbeforeJack’sagentcouldsayanything.“FreddyandIhavediscussedit

andwethinkitcouldworkreallywellforbothofyourcareers.”

Charlotte shot out of her chair, making it fall over with a crash. “Since when do you

have discussions of this magnitude without me? What are you, my fucking pimp, now?
You’rearrangingmarriagesforme?Ifnothim,wouldyouhavehadsomeoneelselinedup
totakehisplace,Jay?”

Jack watched her with interest. He’d heard whispers of a feisty Australian who’d

recentlyshownupinHollywood,andnowhereshewasinfrontofhim,livinguptoevery
story he’d heard. The gossip had been spot-on for once. Her eyes were flashing and her
sun-kissed,blondehairflailedaroundbehindherwheneversheflouncedaroundtheroom.
Shewasaballoffuriousenergy,rightnow.InLosAngeles,everyoneseemedsofakethat,
evenwithhercrazytemper,itwasrefreshingtoseesomeonebeingthemselvesandbeing
totally honest with everyone in the room. There was no way he wanted to marry her,
though.

“Charlotte, this could make a huge difference to your career. You’re having trouble

gettingthosegreatroles,butbeingmarriedtosomeonewho’sbeeninthebusinessforas
longasJackhaswillgiveyouthecredibilityyouneedtogetmoreauditions.It’sahuge
footinthedoor.Iknowyou’llbeagreatactress,butyouneedtogetyournameknownin
thepapers.Ifthat’snotthroughacting,thenweneedtofindanotherway.Thisisaperfect
option.”

“Wait,”Jackfinallyspokeup.“WhatamIgettingoutofthis?WhydoIhavetobeher

mealticket?”

“You’renotmyfuckingmealticket,asshole.There’snotahopeinhellofmemarrying

yourhigh-and-mightyass.”Sheglaredathimandheglaredstraightback.

“Whyareyoucallingmeanasshole?Wejustmet.Youcouldatleastsavethatforafter

we’remarried,sweetheart.”

Charlotteletoutascreamoffrustrationandspunaroundtolookoutthewindow.She

couldfeeltearsoffuryprickingthecornersofhereyes,butshe’dbedamnedifshe’dlet

themthinkshewascrying.Shecontemplatedhurlingheragentoutofthistwenty-sixstory
window,ifshecouldgetitopen,butshewouldnotcryrealtears.

FreddyaddressedJackinhismostconciliatorytone.“WhatyougetoutofthisJack,is

a marriage that makes you seem older in the eyes of the public. You’ve been out of the
spotlight for a while, but you’re still a big star. We’ve been trying to shed that childish
good-boyimageandthisisasquickwaytoliftyourmusiccareeroutoftheteeny-bopper
stageandintothebig-time.”

“Idon’tneedtogetmarriedtodothat.Mymusicisn’tforkids.”

“Weknowthat,butsofar,theydon’t.Thekidsareyourfans,andadultsthinkofyouas

their children’s crush. No one has quite worked out that you’ve grown up, yet. You’re
fairlyclean-cut,sounlessyou’replanningabenderinVegas,ortowooaKardashian,this
isthenextbestthing.”

“Well,Idopreferbrunettes.”Charlottesnortedfromtheothersideoftheroom,where

shegazedoutoverthecity.“Regardless,itsoundslikeabadidea.Whenwordgetsout…”

“Word won’t get out,” Jay interrupted. “It can’t. We’ll have an ironclad contract for

youbothtosignandyou’llbesworntosecrecy.Theonlypeoplewhowillknowaboutthis
areinthisroom,andallofusstandtobenefitfromthisgoingoffwithoutahitch—pardon
the wedding pun.” He smirked at his joke, as Charlotte spun around from the window,
wide-eyed.

“Wewouldn’teventellourownfamily?”

“No.It’dhavetobeanabsolutesecret.There’stoomuchchanceofthisgettingout,if

youtellanyone,andthescandalwouldmostlikelyhavetheexactoppositeeffectonyour
careers.”

“Although,itmighthelp,younevercantell…”

“Don’t even think about it, Freddy. You’re not leaking this shit to the press. How

desperatedoyouthinkthatwillmakemelook?”Jackglaredathismanager,daringhimto
continue.

“You’reright:badidea.Stickwiththewedding.”

“There’s not going to be a fucking wedding, you morons.” Charlotte shouted at the

three of them. “Why would I marry a washed-up child star? He’s nearly ten years older
thanme!”

“WhywouldImarrysomeonewhocan’tspeakasinglesentencewithoutcursing?Are

yousureyou’reanactress,honey?Can’tyouactlikealadyforafewminutes?”

“Fuck you, Jackie Fawkner.” She put the emphasis on his old acting name that had

followedhimaroundsincehewasseven.“You’reagrown-up,now,kiddo:you’reallowed
toswearwheneveryouwant.”

“PleasedtoseethatyouknowwhoIam,evenifI’veneverheardofyou.”

Sheraisedhermiddlefingertohimandhelditinfrontofherwithafakesmile.Jack

shookhisheadandreturnedhisattentiontoFreddy.“You’llgetmarriedbecauseyou’rein
love, of course!” He clapped his hands together in glee. “You met and it was an instant
attraction.We’llhaveyougooutforacoupleofdinnerdates,andmaybetoathemepark,
andthen,voila,aweddingannouncement!Charlotte,you’llgushabouthismanlyabsand
how you love his grown-up music.” She snorted and made vomiting sounds as Freddy
turned to Jack. “You have a crazy attraction to her free-spirited ways and her complete
refusaltobeintimidatedbyHollywoodorconformtotheusualexpectations.Yougetto
marryasmoking-hotwoman,andthiswillhaveyourfemalefanstakingnoticeofwhat’s
nowgoneoffthemarket.It’sgenius—veryadult.”

“Except that he prefers brunettes, dickhead. Have you thought about what you’re

saying? How long do you expect this charade to go on for?” Charlotte looked at all of
them,horrifiedthattheyhadn’talreadydismissedthisinsaneidea.Jayclearedhisthroat,
asthoughhe’dthoughtthiswouldn’thavecomeupsoearly.Charlotteglaredathimand
crossedherarmsagain.“Howfuckinglong,Jay?”

“Wethinkthreeyearsisareasonabletimeframe.”Hesaid,waitingfortheexplosion

that was sure to follow. Amazingly, Charlotte stood in total silence, absolutely stunned,
judgingbythelookonherface.

ItwasJackwhospokeupfirst.“Threeyears?Wehavetobemarriedforthreeyears?

How the hell will I put up with her for that long? We haven’t even been here for three
hoursandIalreadyhaveaheadache.”

“Youhaveaheadache?Ithoughtyouwerearockstar?”CharlotteturnedtoJay,“Do

you want me to marry him because he’s gay?” She turned back to Jack. “Are you gay,
Jack?Becauseagain,you’reanadultandyoudon’thavetohidethatshit,anymore.Just
beyourselfdude.”

“Really?”helookedatherindisgust.

“Really,”shesaidwithanotherfakesmileandanodtoshowthatshemeantit.

“Howwouldweexplainlivingapart?”JackaskedFreddy.Jack’smanagerglancedat

Jay, wondering if they’d even discussed that when they had hatched this plan last night
overabottleofJackDaniels.

“That’seasy:you’regay.”Charlottethrewinhelpfully.

“Wouldyoushutup?”heglaredather.

“Charlotte, please don’t get mad,” he glanced at her before he continued, “The only

way this can work is if you’re married for all intents and purposes. You’d need to live
together, shop together, vacation together—it’s all or nothing. There’s no other way to
make it work in this age of social media and instant news. You can’t half-ass it or the
secretwillbeoutinthefirstweek.”

JackandCharlottestaredateachotherasthedetailsofthiscrazyarrangementsankin.

Sheblinkedonceanddroppedintothenearestchair,allthefightshockedoutofher.“Let
megetthisstraightinmypoor,blondebrain,”sheglaredatJackbeforeshewenton.“You
want us to have a fake engagement, move in together, have a fake wedding, actually

include our families in the lies and not tell them that they are feeling happy for a fake
futurewe’llneverhave…andyouwantustodoitforthreeyears?”

“Thataboutsumsitup.”

“What.The.Actual.Fuck?”

Contracted For Love is available now on

Amazon

. Order your copy now so you don’t

missout!ThisisoneofthemostfunbooksI’veeverwritten.NowIwanttowritemore
rockstarbooksbecausethosecharacterscangetawaywithanything!

Ifyou’renotreadytoorderyet,rememberyoucanjoinmymailinglist

HERE

andreceive

anemailwhenthebookisdueforrelease.

Before you go, please consider leaving an honest review for Married This Year on the
Amazonsitewhereyoupurchasedthisbook.AuthorsliveanddiebyreviewsandIwould
love it if you did me the honour of leaving one. Thanks in advance for giving up your
precioustime.Iameternallygrateful.

WhereCanYouFindMe?

Ilovetohearfromreaderssodon’tbeshy,lookmeup!

Email:

tracey@daringonlineadventures.com

Websites:

http://www.traceypedersen.com

http://lifechangingyear.com

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