A Little Bit Rock & Roll
© 2012 by E.M. Leya
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This book is a work of fiction. References to historical events, real people, or real locales are
used fictitiously. Other names, characters, places, and incidents are the product of the author's
imagination, and any resemblance to actual events or persons or locales, living or dead, is
entirely coincidental.
TABLE OF CONTENTS
With each book, there are different people who help me create my story and make the book stronger
and better. Each one shares thoughts and ideas or is even brave enough to point out my weaknesses and
flaws. I thank each one of you for the time and effort you put into helping me make my work better. You
help in ways you don't even begin to understand. Thank you, Karissa, Tammi D., Adriana, Carolyn,
Tammy S., Jack, Marica, and of course my cat who is intent on keeping my hands warm as he lies down
on them each time I start to type.
Kyle watched the snow from the window of the large tour bus as it made its way through Wyoming,
each flake appearing bigger than the next. Already it felt like the bus had slowed to a crawl and he felt his
driver hit the brakes yet again, slowing even more.
"Things okay up there, Carl?" Kyle called from the back of the bus as he pulled his shoulder length
brown hair back into a ponytail and slipped a rubber band around it to hold it in place.
He heard Carl clear his throat and curse before yelling back.
"Snow is coming down pretty hard. Not much around this God forsaken place. I don't know who the
hell would want to live out this way. We need to pull over and wait out this storm. If I could just find a
place to park this rig."
Kyle trusted Carl with his life. Carl started driving for him back in the day before they even had a
bus to drive. Back when it was just him and his band packed in the back of a van, struggling for room
with the instruments crammed in beside them. They had come a long way together. He knew if Carl
needed to pull off, he didn't have a choice.
Leaving his seat, he wandered to the front of the bus, sitting across from Carl. He shook his head as
he tried to make out the road in front of them, but he could hardly see a thing. The snow was coming
down so thick it was as if a blanket had been tossed over the windshield.
"Shit." Kyle braced a hand on the dashboard. "You got any idea where we are?"
Carl shook his head. "Not a clue. Can't make out any signs to tell me. Last town we passed was about
a half hour back, but looking at the map some of the cities around here are over an hour away from each
other. I'm not going to be able to go much farther in this shit. We may just have to pull over and ride out
the storm in the bus."
Kyle looked back at his three band mates who were playing poker at the back table. He knew they
would complain, but it wasn't like Kyle could do anything about it. Knowing it was better to sit on the
side of the road than end up driving off it, Kyle nodded. "Do what you have to. Better safe than sorry. I
don't know how you've kept it on the road this long."
Carl shrugged and shoved another cigarette in his mouth, chewing on the end nervously. "I will try to
find a safe place up here. Just don't want us getting hit by someone else from behind."
Kyle stood, patting Carl on the shoulder and headed back to tell the others that they were going to be
camping it in the bus for the night.
When he took a seat beside his bass player Tim, all three guys set down their cards as if they knew
he had something to tell them.
"We're going to have to pull over on the side of the road and wait out this storm. Carl can't even see
the road. Looks like we are bunking in the bus tonight. "
"Shit, I was hoping to find me a pretty girl at the motel." Matt, his drummer, smirked.
"Yeah, sorry dude, the pretty girl was waiting for me but you can take her ugly friend." Luis reached
across and playfully punched Matt in the arm.
Kyle rolled his eyes. "Looks like you're stuck with each other tonight. Don't know how long this
storm will last, but it can't go on forever. Hopefully we will make the show on time. Hate to have to
cancel another one."
"If the damn weather would ever give us a break." Tim picked his cards back up. "Nothing you can
do about tornados and snow storms."
Kyle nodded, thinking of the two shows in Georgia they had to cancel a few weeks back when
tornados had touched down damaging the small arena they were scheduled to play in. "Never said it
would be easy, did we guys?"
"Damn straight." Luis pounded his fist on the table. "We made it this far. We aren't going to let a few
storms stop us now."
Kyle felt the bus slowing to a stop and stood back up. "Looks like this one just did."
He ignored the single finger that Luis flashed at him as he made his way back up to Carl. He saw the
stress etched on his drivers face as he took a seat once more beside him. "How are we on fuel?"
"Nearly full tank. I filled her up last stop. But, not knowing how long we are going to be here...
Probably won't be an issue, but doesn't mean I gotta like it." He tossed his cigarette out the window and
rolled it back up. "Got her as far off the road as I dared, but hell, Kyle, I ain't got no idea where we are or
what might be coming behind us. I hope I'm far enough off the road, cause anything coming at us won't
see us until they are right on our ass."
"You did what you could. Say your prayers tonight, Carl. We need all the help we can get." Kyle
stared out the window watching the wipers push the snow off as fast as it could and still it was covering
the windshield before the next swipe. "Think we are going to be stuck?"
"Keeps snowing like this, anything is possible." Carl reached for his energy drink, taking a long
swig. "Never seen snow like this. Then again, being from down south…" He gave a shrug.
Pushing forty, Carl was the oldest of the group, but also the one Kyle trusted most. When his own
father had taken off, never to return, it was Carl who stepped up and started taking Kyle to the baseball
games, and doing all the things his own shitty father never did. It also gave his mom a well needed break.
When the band finally started to make it big, he never hesitated offering Carl the job as driver. It was
the right thing to do for a man who had just been laid off his job of fifteen years, and honestly, Kyle
would have been lost without him. The two of them understood each other. Kyle could relate to him in a
way he couldn't relate to others. Carl knew his secrets and he knew Carl's. That alone was enough to bind
the friendship forever.
Reaching over he gave Carl's shoulder a squeeze. "We will make the best of it." He stood and
hollered to the back of the bus. "Alright, boys. Looks like we spend the night here. Could be a long one."
He glanced at his watch seeing it was just after five in the afternoon.
A mix of groans and curses came from the back of the bus and Kyle shook his head. How quickly
they became spoiled. Sure, they might still be staying at cheap motels, but at least they were finally
booking small arenas and fairs. People were actually calling them to perform instead of them calling
around trying to get gigs.
He made his way back to the others. He knew the guys weren't as upset as they seemed. They knew
this was out of his control. Hell, he wanted a comfortable bed just as much as they did. Taking a seat at
the table again, he met his band member's stares. "Hope you haven't eaten all those donuts we bought,
might be all we have for a while."
"Hell, those have been gone since we left Nebraska." Tim smacked Luis on the head. "I told you to
leave some for later."
"Shit." Luis slapped Tim's arm out of the way. "I bought them. I should be able to eat them when I
want."
"Doesn't matter. All I'm saying could be hard for a while. We got to make the best of it. I know we
got microwave popcorn if nothing else." He glanced up as Carl joined them, taking a seat in the chair
across from the table.
"Sorry boys. I tried to push through, but I don't think the devil himself could make it through this
storm." Carl chewed on the butt of an unlit cigarette.
"Not your fault Carl." Tim fingered the edge of the cards he held in his hand. "It will be like
camping. We can sit in the dark and try to scare the shit out of each other just like we used to do in boy
scouts."
A couple of the guys snorted, but Kyle just smiled. Leave it to Tim to be the one to bring up the past.
The four of them had been together longer than he could remember. They all met sometime in elementary
school and formed a close friendship from the first day. There wasn't much the group hadn't been through
together. This storm was just one more adventure.
"Tim is right. We just make the best of it. Remember talking about building snow forts back in junior
high? Well think of it like that. At least here we have some heat." Kyle reached over plucking the cards
out of Matt's hand. "Come on, deal Carl and me in and let's hope the storm lets up soon."
A loud pounding tore Kyle from his restless slumber. Pushing the blankets off, he rubbed his hand
over his eyes and stood, hitching up his Levi's as soon as his bare feet hit the floor. Glancing at his watch,
he saw it was only nine. They had turned in early with nothing else to do but sleep. The others around him
stirred, opening their eyes enough to watch him make his way toward the bus door, but made no effort to
get up.
Kyle tossed the door open, cursing as the cold winter air hit his chest. "Yeah?" He focused his sleepy
eyes on the man standing in the blizzard outside the bus. A large cowboy hat kept the snow off his head,
but also hid half his face from view. A thick jacket, cinched up around his neck nearly hid the rest of it.
"Hey, was driving by and saw your bus. You guys need some help?"
The man's deep drawl drew Kyle's attention, bringing him fully awake. He stepped back and nodded.
"Come on in. It's too damn cold to talk with the door open."
The male kicked the snow off his boots and stepped inside, slamming the bus door shut behind him.
"Thanks."
Kyle flipped on one of the overhead lights, bringing a moan from one of the guys trying to sleep.
Now, in the light, Kyle could more clearly see the man in front of him. Dark hair peeked out from under
the hat, curling slightly at the neckline. The man appeared a few years older than Kyle, putting him in his
early to mid-thirties.
"Colter Billings. I own this ranch." He nodded toward the snow-covered ground outside the window.
"Was checking on something and came across your bus. You guys break down?"
Kyle ran his hand over his chest, suddenly feeling naked. "No, we had to pull over, couldn't see the
road. Sorry if we are on your ranch. We couldn't see a thing and wanted to get far enough off the highway
so no one would hit us."
"No, no. It's fine where you parked, but this storm is not going to die down for a day or two. I was
worried when I saw you here. 'Fraid you're going to be stuck here for a while." He pulled off his hat,
holding it in front of him.
Kyle's breath caught. Not because of the news, but because of the man in front of him. Kyle didn't
think he'd ever seen a man more gorgeous. Without his hat, he was able to take in the man's strong,
chiseled features and his thick hair. He wondered what was hiding under the thick jacket the man wore.
"Well shit." Luis came up behind Kyle. "Looks like we won't make Seattle in time for the show."
"Colter, I'm Kyle, and this is my band, Rapture. Luis, Tim, Matt, and of course, Carl. He is our
driver." Kyle introduced the guys as they all came forward.
"Nice to meet ya'll. As I was sayin', I don't think you will be going anywhere for a few days. Not
very safe here on the side of the road for you, besides, you will run out of diesel after a while. Thought
you might need some help."
Carl stepped up, gently pushing past the others. "I couldn't see the signs to see if there was a town
close. If you are able to get us to a motel, that would be fantastic."
"Afraid there isn't any motel around these parts. Nearest town is about fifty miles west of here.
However, I do have spare rooms if you want to follow me to my place. I have the plow on the front of my
truck. I think we should be able to get this bus off the road so it doesn't get hit."
Kyle looked back at the others and then met Carl's eyes, trusting his mentor to know what to do.
"What ya think, Carl?"
"Doesn't look like we got much choice, boys. We stay here we are just sitting ducks for some trucker
to take us out or worse, run out of fuel and freeze to death. I say we take this kind gentleman up on his
offer and get to safety."
Kyle brushed a hand over his face, glancing out the window once more. "Yeah, I agree. You sure we
won't be a problem?" He turned his gaze back to Colter.
"None at all. I have several empty rooms at the house, and even a bunkhouse not in use right now if
you prefer that. The choice is yours." Colter set his hat back on his head. If you think you can get this
thing back on the road, I will clear a path. The turn into my place is just about a half mile up the road."
"Boys?" Carl turned to look at the group.
They all nodded, knowing it was the only choice they had.
"We will pay you. We aren't going to stay and disrupt your place without some compensation."
Colter waved his hand. "We can discuss all that later. Right now, let's get the hell out of this storm
before it gets any later. If reports are right, the wind should be picking up in an hour or so." He turned
back to Carl. "You can pull the bus up beside the right of the house. You'll see it when you get in there,
and if you can't, I'll lead you in by tapping my breaks. You should be able to at least see my taillights if
you stick close enough."
"Will do." Carl pushed past toward the driver's seat. They kept the bus idling all night so the diesel
wouldn't gel, and it took only a moment for Carl to have everything ready to go.
"Thanks, Colter. We owe you for this."
Another wave of his arm and Colter turned for the door. "Glad to help. No one should be stranded in
a storm like this." He opened the door, glancing back to meet Kyle's gaze. "I will see you guys in a few."
Kyle smiled. "Thanks, man." He watched as Colter shut the door and finally felt like he could
breathe. He didn't remember the last time that another man had affected him so strongly. He turned,
glancing at the others, nervous they might have seen the way he looked at Colter.
Other than Carl, no one knew he was gay. He made sure to hide it, even from his best friends, unsure
how they would take it. They teased him often when the other three would take off with girls after a show
and he would choose to hang back and spend the night visiting with Carl instead.
It was stupid to hide it, but he didn't want anything to interfere with their success or come between
them as a band, and something told him this would. Not to mention the impact it might have on his future.
Right now, he was one of the most wanted singers. Women flocked for a chance to see him, speak to him.
Coming out would change all that, and quite possibly hurt his career.
"Come on guys, get dressed. Looks like we might just get those beds to sleep in after all." Kyle
reached for his shirt, hoping the days went fast.
*****
Colter Billings slid behind the wheel of his truck, the warmth of the heater thawing out his frozen
skin. He was used to Wyoming winters, but this storm was worse than most. He knew there was no way
he could leave the band to fend for themselves. They would run out of fuel long before the storm passed
and the road became clear enough to get through.
He wasn't too happy about inviting a rock band back to his quiet home, but he didn't have much
choice. His only hope was they would leave their instruments on the bus.
Lowering the plow, he glanced at the bus behind him and tapped his brakes. The faint flash of the
bus's headlights through the thick snow was enough to let him know they were ready. Pulling out on the
road, he kept it slow as the bus pulled out behind him.
Keeping an eye on the road, his mind wandered to Kyle. Finding a half-naked man opening the door
to the bus had been a surprise, but a damn good one. Colt felt his body respond as he remembered the way
the male's dark brown hair fell down over his shoulders against his pale white skin. Skin that looked so
soft Colt had forced his hands into his pockets to keep from reaching out and running his hand over it.
Even now, back in the truck, he could still see the way Kyle's nipples had puckered as the cold air hit
them and feel the heat from the way Kyle had looked at him when he took off his hat. The look could
have been nothing more than the kid wasn't used to cowboys, but it sure felt like a lot more.
Hell, he was too old for this. The kid had to be at least ten years younger than him. No matter how
attracted to him he might be, he didn't need the distraction right now. He had a ranch to run and that didn't
include letting some young kid, who might not even be gay, take his attention away from his job.
Watching the bus behind him, he plowed the snow off the road, clearing a path as he turned in the
long drive leading up to his house. It was impossible to see the house through the snow, but he knew it
was there. The ranch had been his home from the day he was born. He didn't need to see to know exactly
where he was going.
He was as connected to the land as a man could be. When his father passed away several years back,
he vowed he would never sell, would work the land, and continue the dream his father, and grandfather
before him had lived.
Ranching was in his blood and all Colt knew. He would never be happy with a normal nine to five.
He loved the animals, the land, and the long hours he put in to make his ranch one of the most successful
around.
Easing up beside the house, he tapped his brakes, letting Carl follow him in with the bus. Leaving
himself enough room to pull back out, even after the bus parked behind him, he cut the lights and heard
the bus come to a halt behind him. Giving them a few minutes to settle, he pulled his truck back around
and into the garage on the other side of the house.
The band was stepping out of the bus by the time he got over there. Everyone pulled their coats
tighter around them as they each held a small overnight bag in their hand. Colt was glad they were ready.
He didn't want to spend any more time out in the storm than they did.
"Come on in. I will show you where you can stay." Colt waved and turned back toward the house,
hearing the snow crunch behind him as the others followed.
"How do you live in this shit? I swear it must be forty below zero." One of the band members
mumbled as they headed toward the front porch.
Colt turned and grinned. "You get used to it. I promise it ain't nowhere near that cold. Bet it's not
even below zero yet, but it will be once the wind picks up."
"Still crazy. Give me Florida any time. This is insane."
"Shut up, Luis." Kyle glared at his friend. "He is nice enough to let us stay, don't ruin it by bitching
the whole time."
Luis dropped his head and remained silent as they headed up onto the wrap around porch and kicked
the snow from their shoes.
Colt opened the door and stepped inside, standing aside to let everyone in.
"Wow, great place," Tim said as he looked around the large entryway.
Colt glanced up, smiling as he saw his grandmother's old chandelier hanging twenty feet up. He
always loved the spacious entry. Tile floors, antique paintings, and a few other family heirlooms
decorated it. A long staircase sat off to the side, leading upstairs to the bedrooms.
"Let me show you to your rooms, then once you get settled in you can come down and I can show
you the rest." Colt met Kyle's eyes. "Looks like you could be here a few days."
Shutting and locking the door, he led the men upstairs, turning down a long hallway. Coming to the
first door, he stopped and opened it. "I have four extra rooms, means two of you will have to double up or
I can show you to the bunkhouse on the other side of the yard. It's heated, but not quite as comfortable as
the house."
The guys all looked each other and Kyle stepped forward. "Carl and I can bunk together, not a big
deal at all."
Colt nodded, wishing he could offer his own bed up to the appealing performer. "Then you two can
take the bigger room down the hall. Which one of you wants this one?"
Tim stepped into the room, running his hands through his short blond hair as he looked around. "I
don't care where I sleep. I'll take this one."
One by one, Colt led them down the hall and gave out rooms. Finally coming to the final room, the
one that sat right next to his, he opened the door. "Sorry you have to share. But, yours does have its own
bathroom. You won't have to share with the other two."
Carl reached over bracing a hand on Colt's shoulder. "It's not a problem. We don't mind, do we,
Kyle?"
Kyle shook his head. "Not at all. Don't know how to thank you, Colton. Opening up your home to us
and all."
"Colt. Call me Colt. It's not a problem at all. Would hate to think of you guys out on that bus all
night freezing. Glad to have you here safe." He took a step back, keeping his gaze on Kyle. "You need
anything I will be up for a bit. Please, make yourself at home. "
"Thanks. Think we will just crash for the night. But we will see you in the morning." Carl turned and
walked into the room.
Kyle stood holding onto the doorknob a few seconds longer, looking a bit uncomfortable. "Well,
thanks again. Guess we will see you in the morning, Colt."
"No problem. If I'm not around when you wake, I'll be back. Probably just in the barn." Colt took
another step back, then finally turned, looking over his shoulder. "Sleep well, Kyle."
*****
Kyle watched Colt walk down the hall until he disappeared around the corner before he finally
stepped back into the room, and shut the door. He glanced up to see Carl staring at him.
"What?"
"Attractive man, isn't he?"
"Well, I guess so." Kyle stepped away from the door unable to meet Carl's eyes. "But I don't see
what that has to do with anything."
"Doesn't have to do with anything. Just making a comment." Carl smiled. "Didn't mean anything by
it. Nothin' at all."
Kyle turned, glaring at Carl. "Would you quit. You don't even know if the guy is gay. Even if he is,
there isn't a damn thing going to happen with it."
"And why couldn't something happen?" Carl tossed his bag on the bed and started pulling out his
sweat pants.
"You know damn well why. If the other guys found out that I'm gay it would be the end of the band.
The end of my career. Yours too, for that matter."
"You're going to have to tell them sooner or later. You can't just keep claiming you're waiting for the
right one to come along. Sooner or later the right one will, then what?" Carl grabbed his toothbrush and
made his way into the bathroom. "You going to pass up happiness because you're too scared to admit to
your best friends who you are? Telling you, Kyle, the sooner you tell them, the easier it will be. They will
understand."
Kyle watched the bathroom door close, putting an end to the conversation. Frustrated and confused
Kyle tore off his coat, lifted his shirt over his head and quickly changed into his own sweats. He didn't
need this speech again. He knew damn well how his friends would react, how fans would react. Nope, he
was just going to stay single, make it big and forget all about the sexy cowboy who he suddenly couldn't
get off his mind. It would only cause problems and Kyle already had enough of those on his own. Tossing
his bag on the floor, he crawled into one side of the bed, closed his eyes, and prayed the storm would let
up soon. The sooner he got away from Wyoming the better.
Colt woke up early and slipped out of bed to move the curtain back from his bedroom window,
frowning at the snow that still fell hard. It looked like almost two feet had fallen since he finally made it
to bed after midnight. Letting the curtain fall back into place, he brushed a hand through his dark hair and
made his way to the bathroom.
Twenty minutes later, he set his coffee cup on the counter, shoved his arms into his coat, zipped it up
tight, and made his way toward the barn. Glancing at the bus verified what he thought. A fresh layer of
snow covered all tracks from last night, reaching over the bumper of the bus.
Colt reached the barn and had to grab the shovel he kept by the door to shovel his way in. The
animals inside called out to him as they heard him start scooping the snow away. His breath came out in a
heavy white fog, and already he could feel the ice and snow building up on his hat. Several shovelfuls
later, he was able to finally pull the door to the barn open and step inside.
"Hey, Briff. Give me a minute and I will get you a treat," he called to his horse as the bay hung his
head over the edge of the stall to watch him.
Hearing his voice, several more heads appeared over the stall doors. He smiled, feeling more at home
here with his horses than he ever had with any human. Pulling a bale of hay down off the large stack
against one wall, he broke it open and started tossing hay to each horse. He reached in his pocket to pull
out a carrot for each one. He saved Briff for last. Approaching his stall, he ran his hand down the horse's
nose, smiling as the horse leaned his head against Colt's shoulder.
"How you holding up, Briff? One hell of a storm out there. Won't be able to let you out to run for a
while." The horse snorted and nudged Colt with his head as Colt tossed the hay into the stall. "I have
company in the house, won't be able to stay too long today, but you know I will be out later." He felt the
horse nip at him playfully searching for another carrot. "Now don't go getting selfish on me." He pushed
the horse back. "You know I'll bring you another later."
It took him twenty more minutes to get things finished, and with a final wave to the horses, he turned
and headed back toward the house. He knew the other ranch hands would check on the cows that they
herded to the byres earlier in the week as they prepared for the storm. There wasn't much else they could
do other than wait it out.
Shaking off his hat, and brushing the snow from his shoulders, he kicked his boots against the step,
and then headed inside. Leaving his coat and hat in the entry, he made his way toward a cup of hot coffee
to help take the chill off. It was still early and he was surprised to find Kyle in the kitchen, pouring a cup
of coffee.
He paused in the doorway, watching the male for a moment. His long hair fell over his back. His
pants hung low on his hips, showing just a sliver of skin between the bottom of his shirt and the
waistband of his pants. Colt had to swallow back his desire as he stared at the man.
Kyle turned and Colt quickly looked up, meeting the young man's stare. "Morning. Hope I didn't
wake you." Colt shoved his hands in his pockets as he leaned against the doorjamb.
"No, didn't hear you at all. Sorry, hope you don't mind. I smelled the coffee and couldn't resist." Kyle
held up his coffee cup.
"Not at all. I meant what I said, make yourself at home." Colt grabbed his cup from where he'd left it
on the counter and poured his own cup. "So you're a musician?"
Kyle rested against the counter, cupping his coffee cup in both hands, gently blowing over it.
"Singer. Our band is called Rapture. Slowly but surely, we are making a name for ourselves. Moving up
from bars and clubs to finally hit some fairs and small arenas."
Colt warmed his hands against his cup as he took a seat at on one of the stools at the kitchen bar.
"Rock?"
"Yeah, it's a mixture of rock and blues. I have a CD out in the bus if you would like to hear."
"Sure, would like to. Might have to shovel your way to the bus though. Storm laid down a couple
feet last night and it's still coming. Have to admit I don't listen to a lot of rock, mostly country, but I don't
mind something new. How long you and the guys been together?"
Kyle smiled and Colt felt his body stir. Taking a large drink of his coffee, he tried to push the feeling
away.
"Seems like forever. We met in grade school, started the band in seventh grade. Never dreamed we
would make a career of it." Kyle set his cup down. "Carl, he is like a father to me. When mine took off,
Carl stepped in and helped out. Don't even want to think where I would be without him."
Relief flowed through Colt to hear he was a father figure and not something more. He knew it
shouldn't matter, knew that nothing could happen between Kyle and him, but he couldn't deny the
attraction he was feeling toward the man. Hell, he didn't even know if the kid liked him or if he had a wife
or lover somewhere.
"So is it just you here?"
"In the house, yeah. I do have a couple ranch hands that help out, but they have their own places
around the ranch. Both have families that live here with them. I let them pick a parcel and build. They
help take care of the cattle and I let them live here and pay them wages."
Kyle turned, looking out the window. "Don't you get tired of the snow?"
Colt laughed. "It's not always like this. Sure, we have hard winters, but storms like this are rare.
Come back in the summer and I swear you will never leave."
"So you have cows? I don't know a thing about ranches. Lived in the city my whole life."
Colt wished it was warmer and he could take Kyle out and show him, but with the storm, he would
just have to settle for trying to explain. "I have a couple thousand head of cattle, sell them off for beef and
raise more. Have some horses. I wish I could take you out and show you, but with this storm, I was lucky
to get into the barn this morning."
"How do you do it? Don't you get bored? Lonely? No wife or anything?"
Colt swallowed his coffee, debating how to answer. "For the most part I like the quiet. I would never
last five minutes in a big city. As for the wife, no, not something I will ever have." He raised his eyes to
meet Kyle's. "I'm gay."
Kyle blushed, reaching for his coffee cup and turning to pour another cup.
"Sorry, didn't mean to make you uncomfortable."
Kyle slowly turned around, keeping his eyes lowered. "No, it's cool. Didn't make me uncomfortable
at all, just didn't expect that."
"What about you? Got a girlfriend back home?"
Kyle fidgeted, looking a bit nervous as he fingered the rim of his coffee mug. "No, no one back
home. Girls throw themselves at us at the shows, but I let the other guys have their fun with them. Not my
thing. I'm waiting for the right person to come along."
"Ah, the no sex until I'm married type?" Colt asked, wanting to push a bit more but knowing he
shouldn't. He shouldn't have any interest at all in Kyle's sex life.
"No, not that. Just waiting for the right one. Not a marriage issue, just a person issue."
"Well, that's admirable. Too many things could go wrong sleeping around after every show."
"That's what I keep telling the others, but they never listen." Kyle finally looked up, meeting Colt's
eyes. "Sooner or later one of them is going to get the phone call they knocked some chick up. I don't want
that to be me."
"Morning."
Colt turned to see Carl wander into the kitchen fully dressed and smiling. "Morning."
"Thank you for the bed. Have to say that was the best night's sleep I have had in weeks. Much more
comfortable than those damn motels." Carl took a seat at the bar beside Colt.
"You snored loud enough, you should have slept well." Kyle teased as he handed Carl a fresh cup of
coffee he had just poured for him.
"Hey, if you had been sleeping yourself, you wouldn't have heard a thing. Don't think I didn't notice
you up half the night lost in that notebook of yours." Carl took the coffee and sat back. "Looks like the
storm isn't letting up. Colt, you need help with anything. Anyway we can earn our keep?"
"Nope. I've already been out to feed the horses. My ranch hands are taking care of the cattle. All we
can do is wait it out." Colt pushed back his stool, going to refill his coffee. "Afraid I'm not much of a
cook, but the fridge is fully stocked, also have a freezer out in the garage full of meat. Please, make
yourself at home. Help yourselves to anything I have." He braced a hip against the bar as he stood beside
Kyle.
Kyle smiled. "We owe you so much. Really, anything we can do to help out, please let us know. I
don't even want to think about having to be stuck in that bus for a few days. We would have been killing
each other being trapped in that small area."
The corners of Colt's mouth turned up as he sipped his coffee. "Just make yourself at home. Don't
want you feeling uncomfortable here. If you guys need to practice or anything, feel free. Won't bother me.
Where were you headed after Seattle?"
"Shit, that reminds me. I gotta call and let them know we won't make the show." Kyle set his cup
down. "We head to California for a couple shows next week." He glanced at his watch. "Still too early to
call. You guys have got to remind me in an hour to call. They aren't going to be happy."
Colt placed his hand on Kyle's shoulder. "They will understand. Nothing you could do to avoid it.
I'm sure you're not the first band to miss a show because of weather. Can even use my phone if you need
to. Cell service is touchy in this area."
*****
Kyle felt like Colt's hand was burning a hole right through his shirt, the warmth of his hand sending
electric waves of desire right to his core. He glanced up, meeting Colt's eyes, and nodded. "I appreciate it.
If we don't call, we break the contract and that will cost us more than we can afford right now."
Colt dropped his hand. "You guys been on the road long?"
"A few weeks," Carl said, rubbing his hand over his chin. "This is their first big tour, so it's been a
learning process all around. The boys are handling it well." His eyes met Kyle's proudly. "If you would
have seen these boys a few years ago, you would have bet they would be in prison, not touring the
country for a living."
"We weren't that bad." Kyle blushed, glancing at Colt to judge his reaction.
Colt laughed. "That bad huh? Have to admit I gave my parents a tough time and got to know the
sheriff better than I wanted to."
Kyle glared at Carl. "We weren't that bad."
"No, because you had your music. Imagine the trouble you four would have brought to my doorstep
if you didn't have the band." Carl met his eyes with a teasing gleam.
Kyle blushed deeper, not wanting Colt to know how stupid he used to be. He didn't know why, but it
mattered to him what Colt thought about him. He raised his eyes and shrugged as he saw Colt watching
him. "I'm sure we weren't any worse than any other teens."
Colt reached out and brushed his hand down Kyle's arm. "I think we all look back on our teens and
cringe a bit."
It was just a quick brush of his hand, but the tingle left behind caused Kyle to shiver. "I wouldn't
want to go back, that's for damn sure."
"I smell coffee." Luis stumbled into the room, naked from the waist up.
Kyle and Colt stepped aside as Luis made a beeline for the coffee pot. Tim and Matt followed
behind, both of them standing back, knowing better than to get in Luis's way.
"Better warn you now. Luis is not a morning person," Kyle told Colt. "You see him headed your way
before noon, it might be best to stay clear."
Luis growled, causing everyone to laugh.
"Help yourself to the food guys. I'm going to head to my office and get some work done. I'm down
the hall if you need anything." Colt tipped his head at Kyle as he made his way out of the kitchen.
Kyle watched him go, still feeling the touch of his hand on his arm. Rubbing his own palm over the
spot, he turned his attention to the others, knowing he needed to get his mind off Colt. But now, hearing
Colt admit he was gay, Kyle's mind was in overdrive thinking about the man. He needed to focus, keep
his mind on work, and his career, and make sure his secret didn't get out. He couldn't handle the outcome
if it did.
Tim opened the fridge pulling out an apple and taking a large bite then took a seat at the kitchen
table. "So how long we stuck here?"
Carl frowned. "Colt says a few days at least. Snow isn't letting up. Looks worse than ever if you ask
me. Might as well get what you need from the bus today before we can't even get into it."
Kyle watched the other's faces and read the regret at missing one, and maybe more shows. They all
knew how easily this dream could slip away from them and how much was at stake. "It will be okay,
guys. I'm going to call the promoter in a bit. I will try to reschedule. If we get lucky, we can get another
date. Maybe hit our dates in California and track back up to Seattle before we hit the East coast again."
"Good time for you boys to get those notebooks out and write some new stuff. I'm getting sick of
hearing the same old shit." Carl teased as he stood. "I'm going to go out to the bus and gather some stuff,
then maybe head back to bed and take advantage of having nothing to do."
A chorus of see ya's came from the band as they watched him leave.
Kyle turned back to the others. "Colt said we could rehearse, too, if we wanted, but I want to keep it
tame. Don't want to blast him out of his own house. Think Carl has the best idea. We have to plan the new
album soon. We still need several songs. Maybe grab your acoustic from the bus and see if we can come
up with anything new."
"What about that ballad you were working on? You finish it?" Tim asked.
"No, thinking of tossing the whole thing, just doesn't feel right. I will work on it today." Kyle rinsed
his cup and put it in the dishwasher. "I'm going to go join Carl and get my gear before I have to call the
promoter. See you in a bit." Kyle turned leaving the other three alone. For the first time in a long time, he
felt like he just didn't belong.
Two hours later, Kyle paced the hall outside his bedroom. Carl slept inside, his snores echoing out
into the hall even with the door closed. Kyle knew he needed to make the call to the promoter but wanted
to double check with Colt to make sure it was okay to use his phone. He knew it was just a lame excuse to
see Colt again, he had already said he could use the phone. Kyle stopped pacing and leaned his forehead
against the wall. In less than a day of meeting Colt, he felt like his entire world had shifted. It was stupid,
he had no reason to feel the way he was, but for some reason he couldn't get the man off his mind. He
wanted to talk to him, know him, and touch him.
He knew from a young age he liked men but he had never acted on it. He faked his way through high
school taking a girl to prom, going out on double dates with others. He made sure that no matter what,
people never would guess he was gay. The only person who knew was Carl. He had finally opened up to
Carl shortly after graduating high school. But then, Carl was gay too, so it wasn't like opening up to him
had been a big risk.
Carl spent countless hours since then trying to convince Kyle to come out. Assuring him that the
band would understand and it wouldn't hurt his career. Kyle would have nothing of it. He was sure,
especially after seeing the way women flocked to him at concerts, that if he came out, the band would
suffer.
Kyle pushed away from the wall and made his way down the stairs, past the living room, finally
coming to the open office door near the end of the hall. Glancing inside, he silently watched Colt flipping
through a notebook, making notes in another. His hair hung down over his forehead, and he chewed on
the end of his pen as he flipped from page to page.
Clearing his throat, Kyle gently knocked on the door. "Colt?"
The smile that played over Colt's face when he looked up had Kyle's heart beating double time.
"Kyle, come on in." Colt stood, coming around the desk. "I needed a break anyway. Never was one
for numbers. I will take any excuse I can to get out of accounting."
Kyle stepped forward, walking farther into the office, stopping about a foot from the front of the
desk where Colt now stood. "Sorry to bother you. I just wanted to make sure it was okay for me to use
your phone to call the promoter."
Colt sat on the edge of the desk, his eyes traveling over Kyle for a moment. "Sure, like I said before,
go right ahead. In fact, you can use the one in here if you want some privacy."
"Thanks, you don't need to go, I just need to let them know we're stranded and won't make it in. See
if we can work on rescheduling." He shoved his hands in his pockets as he looked around the room
nervously. He paused as his eyes fell on a photo of Colt and another man arm in arm, standing together in
suits. You could tell by the way they stared at each other in the photo that they were more than friends.
Kyle frowned, wondering if this was someone Colt was seeing, and then chastised himself for caring. It
wasn't his business and it shouldn't matter.
Seeing what Kyle was staring at, Colt walked over and picked up the picture frame, smiling. "This
was taken about five years ago. Richard and me at our high school reunion."
"He someone you're dating?" Kyle asked, then realizing what he asked and held up his hand. "Sorry,
not my business."
"No, it's okay. I don't mind talking about him." Colt ran his finger over the glass in the frame as if he
was tracing the photo. "Richard and I were together almost ten years. He was killed in Afghanistan about
five years ago." Colt set the picture down.
"I'm sorry for your loss," Kyle said feeling horrible for the relief he felt at knowing that they were no
longer together. "He was in the military?"
"Yeah, a Marine." Colt sat down on the arm of the small couch that sat to the left of the room. "We
met in high school. I stayed here, worked the ranch, he wanted to see the world and joined the Marines.
He lived here with me when he was home."
Kyle stepped forward reaching for another picture that sat on the small coffee table. "And this one?"
He held up a picture of Colt kneeling down with a beautiful black and white dog next to him.
Colt laughed. "That's me and Shep. He passed away about six months ago. Got him right after
graduation. He and I were best friends. He ran the ranch with me. People joked he was my business
partner."
Setting the picture down Kyle took a seat across from Colt, in a soft chair. "Sounds like a lot of loss."
Colt shrugged. "Just the way things happen. Can't dwell on it or let it get you down. Maybe someday
I will get a new dog." He glanced back to the picture of Richard. "Maybe even a new lover." He turned
his gaze from the picture to Kyle.
Kyle shifted uneasy under his stare. He knew it was crazy to think that a man like Colt could be
attracted to him, but that didn't mean Kyle couldn't be attracted to him. It was unsettling to have the
sudden feelings he was. He spent his entire life denying his attraction to men, yet something about Colt
was bringing it right up and center, and no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't seem to ignore the
interest he felt every time he was around Colt.
"I'm sure you will." Kyle whispered softly as he folded his hands in his lap.
"What about you? What are you? Mid-twenties or close to thirty? You want to settle down?"
Kyle shrugged. "I have been so focused on my career I guess I haven't really thought about it too
much. As I said, I don't want the flings like the others have. I'm looking for something a bit more. I don't
want someone just for a few hours before we leave town again."
"That's honorable. Not easy to watch everyone else go off and leave you alone."
"I have Carl. He doesn't go out too much. Think I've only seen him bring someone back a couple
times. We work on writing songs, planning the tour, bookings and all that." Kyle rubbed his hands down
his legs. "How did you get into ranching?"
Colt looked around the room. "This place has been in the family back to my Grandfather. He passed
it to my dad, and when dad died, being the only child, it went to me. I can't imagine doing anything else. I
would go nuts locked in an office all day or working for someone else."
"I have to admit I don't know the first thing about it. Everything I know I have seen on old John
Wayne movies. Up till yesterday, the only thing I knew about Wyoming was a report someone did on
Yellowstone when I was in high school."
"Wish I could show you around more. I think you would love it. You can join me when I go out to
the barn. Meet Briff and some of the other horses."
"I would like that. I've never been around horses."
"Never? You haven't ever been on a horse?" Colt raised a brow, looking surprised.
"Nope. Never had the chance. Being from the city there weren't a lot of horses around."
"Well then it's about time you did. Make your phone call. Later when I am ready, I will find you and
you can go out with me."
Kyle knew that spending any more time with Colt than he needed to would be a mistake, only
making his attraction to him stronger. He would just have to keep focused, remind himself what was at
stake. Besides, he had no reason to think someone like Colt would be interested in him. They came from
different backgrounds, both had different goals, not to mention that as soon as the snow let up, he would
get on the bus and head out, probably never coming back this way again. Even knowing all this, he
smiled. "I would like that. Would like it a lot."
"Good." Colt stood. "Now go ahead and make your call. I'm going to go get a coffee refill. You're
welcome to hang out if you want. Not often I have company. You mentioned you had songs to write, you
want somewhere quiet, you're welcome to stay in here."
"Thanks, might take you up on it. The others get restless, but I'm kind of enjoying the break and not
having to rush into everything." Kyle stood, glancing at the desk. "You sure you don't mind?"
Colt shook his head. "Nope. Go right ahead. I'll be back in a bit. You want anything?"
"I'm good. Thanks though." Kyle pulled a slip of paper from his pocket with the promoter's number
on it and turned for the phone.
*****
Colt found the kitchen empty and silence coming from the house. He figured the others had all made
it back up to their rooms to wait out the storm. It was nice having people around. Not that he wanted a
house full all the time, but having someone to talk to was a nice change.
Pouring himself a cup of coffee, he sat down at the table, wanting to give Kyle a bit of privacy for
his call. He just couldn't figure the kid out. It was years since Colt felt such a strong attraction toward
someone. The more he watched Kyle, spoke to him, the stronger the attraction grew.
He knew that he should just leave well enough alone. He didn't know for sure that Kyle was even
gay, but his gut told him he was. Colt thought back to the gentle touch to Kyle's shoulder earlier in the
morning. It stirred something inside Colt and he wanted to feel it again. He would respect Kyle's desire to
not have one-night stands and wait until the right one came along. But, that didn't mean he couldn't enjoy
being around him while he was here.
Picking up his coffee, he made his way back down the hall and back to his office. Kyle was just
hanging up the phone as he walked back into the room.
"Everything okay?" Colt asked, setting his cup on the desk.
Kyle ran his hand through his long hair and sighed. "They weren't happy, but not much they could
say about it. I mean all they have to do is watch the news and see that everything through this area is shut
down. Anyway, they told me to call them later in the week and they would see what they could do about
rebooking. Not much else I can do about it now."
Colt felt for the band. He knew it was their livelihood and could only imagine how much money they
would lose missing a show. He reached out, again placing his hand on Kyle's shoulder. "I'm sure they will
work with you. It sounds like you guys are in demand. Your fans will make sure they reschedule."
"I hope so. Need this damn snow to let up or we might miss another show."
Colt might have imagined it, but he could swear Kyle leaned into his hand. Not wanting to overstep
his bounds, he dropped his hand. "Why don't you get your notebook? Work on some songs. Relax a bit.
Doesn't do any good to worry about things you don't have control over, and the weather is definitely one
of those things we can't control."
Kyle fisted his hair into a ponytail, and then let it go again, the long strands falling over his
shoulders. Colt had to hold back from reaching out and brushing his hair back behind his ears. He wanted
to feel the hair against his skin, run his fingers through it.
"You're right. Nothing I can do, so why worry. I'll leave that to the other guys." Kyle smiled. "They
can stress. I have songs to write. You sure you don't mind me hanging out in here with you?"
"Nope. It's nice to have company. This place gets too quiet sometimes. Go get your stuff, come back
in and make yourself comfortable. I'm just working on some breeding charts and accounting. You won't
bother me at all."
"Thanks Colt. You really have gone out of your way to make us feel welcome. I really appreciate it."
Kyle brushed by Colt on his way to leave the office.
As their thighs brushed, they both froze, staring at one another. Colt held his breath and fisted his
hands at his side to keep from pulling Kyle closer. The hairs on the back of his neck stood straight at the
soft touch, and he wanted to find out what would happen with more.
Kyle was the one to break the silence. "Um, I better go get my stuff. I will be right back." He
hesitated a moment more before tearing his gaze from Colt's and taking off out of the room.
Colt let out a long breath as he ran his hand down his face. He wasn't going to make it. Kyle was
stirring feelings he hadn't felt in a long time. Not that there were a lot of opportunities for him to date here
in the middle of Wyoming, but he still hit the bar enough, and knew other gay men around when he
needed a release. Not one of them made him feel the way Kyle did. What scared him most was Kyle was
making him feel these things without doing anything.
Glancing out the window, he sent a silent prayer that the snow would hurry and end, because he
knew if he was around Kyle much longer, he wouldn't be able to keep his hands off.
*****
Kyle zipped up his coat and rushed outside, hoping the cold air would do something to lower the
sudden fever he felt. The fever had nothing to do with getting sick, he knew exactly what caused his body
to overheat and break out in a light sweat. Colt. Everything about the man put him on edge and definitely
not in a bad way.
Snow rose around his calves almost reaching his knees as he followed the path the others had made
to the bus. Pulling the door open, he kicked the snow off his shoes and stepped inside, glad to find the bus
empty. He didn't need to face anyone right now. He needed to think and sort out the feelings that he was
struggling to understand.
Slumping into a chair, he pinched the bridge of his nose trying to figure out what it was about Colt
that attracted him. The last person in the world to draw his attention would be a cowboy, or so he thought.
Still, there was something about the long muscular legs pressing against the denim of his pants, and the
way the cowboy hat brought an edge of mystery to his already good looks. The heated way Colt looked at
him stirred something so deep inside Kyle's body that he was almost afraid to think about it.
For so many years he had refused to acknowledge anything sexual. He trained himself to ignore that
side of his body's needs, pleasuring himself only every now and then when in the shower. He watched the
others take off almost nightly with women and felt numb to the desires those around him felt, forcing
himself into such a denial about his sexuality that it was as if sex didn't exist for him.
Being a twenty-eight year old virgin wasn't easy, but using the ploy that he was waiting for the right
one seemed to keep everyone from teasing him about it. The only one who seemed to push him was Carl,
and Carl was the only one who knew his secret. Carl wanted to see him date, see him fall in love and even
more than that, Carl wanted Kyle to come out to everyone and be secure in who he was.
Kyle respected Carl, wished he could be as brave as Carl was and step out of his shell and be open
with his friends and fans. He just feared that once he did that, those same friends and fans would turn their
back on him and everything he knew would be gone.
Cursing, he stood, grabbing one of his other bags and shoving his notebook into it. He made sure he
had pens and grabbed the CD of their first album. Looking around the bus, he made sure there was
nothing else he would need and made his way back toward the house.
Stepping onto the front porch, he stopped, staring up into the dark sky watching the large snowflakes
continue to fall. He wondered if the storm would ever end. Already since arriving at Colt's a good three
feet of fresh snow covered the ground. He turned his gaze to the barn seeing the small path Colt made
earlier in the morning when he went out. It was already covered, just small indents showing the trail.
He was actually excited to go out later with Colt, but he knew it was for the wrong reasons. He could
care less about the animals or the way the ranch ran, but something about being out of the house and
alone with Colt had his body growing hard.
Shaking the thought from his head, knowing nothing could happen between them. Kyle turned and
stepped back into the warmth of the house, slipping off his boots by the doorway, hanging his coat in the
closet and heading back down the hall to Colt's office.
Colt watched Kyle as he lounged on the couch beside his desk. He smiled at the way Kyle would
continually run his fingers through his hair as he sat thinking. Colt hadn't finished any of the work that sat
in front of him, too distracted sneaking glances as Kyle worked on his songs.
As if he felt Colt watching him, Kyle looked up and smiled. "Hey."
"Coming up with anything good?"
Kyle shrugged. "Sounds good in my head. Guess we will see when I sing it and then see if we can
come up with music for it."
Colt tossed his pen on the desk and leaned back in his chair. "Want to sing it for me?"
A blush worked its way up Kyle's neck. "It's just a stupid ballad."
"Stupid? Doubt you would write anything stupid to put out for your fans. Come on, I will be the
judge of how stupid it is." He wanted to hear Kyle sing.
Kyle sat up straighter, glancing at his notebook, then at Colt. "You really want to hear it?"
Colt nodded. "I haven't heard any of your stuff yet, of course I want to hear it."
Kyle blushed deeper and Colt wondered at the blush, sure that Kyle was comfortable singing for
people. Why would he be uncomfortable with him?
"Okay, but it's not finished. I just have a bit. It's slower than most our stuff, but every album needs a
love song, right?"
"Of course. At least one."
Kyle cleared his throat, sitting up a straighter, humming softly, and then he started to sing. His voice
started low, almost shy, then as he continued it grew louder and more confident.
Colt leaned forward, lacing his fingers on his desk as he listened, feeling pulled in by the sound of
Kyle's voice and the words to the song. Even without music to back him, it sounded beautiful, maybe
more so because there was no music.
Kyle's voice was natural and deep, and he knew exactly how to sing, each word flowing from him
with heartfelt passion. Colt now understood why the band was gaining success. With Kyle at the front,
there was no way they wouldn't make it to the top. Colt didn't think he'd ever heard a more perfect sound.
He sat mesmerized.
Kyle stopped, dropping his head, staring at his notebook as the blush returned to his face. "That's as
far as I've gotten. I still need to add a couple verses.
Colt swallowed back the emotion the song stirred inside him. "It was beautiful. Your voice…"He
cleared his throat. "Your voice is amazing. I can't believe you're not making millions already."
Kyle slowly raised his head, and then his eyes to meet Colt's stare. "Really? You like it?"
"I love it. You have a natural talent I have never heard. You could take almost any song and make it
a hit. But that song, the one you just sang. It was beautiful. I felt like you were singing it to me, as if I was
the only one in the world and that song was written for me. You capture your audience with your voice
and hold them there with your words."
Kyle let out a long breath, making Colt wonder if Kyle really didn't see what a talent he had. Colt
wanted to hear more, let himself get lost in the sound of Kyle's voice.
"Do you have your CD with you? I would love to hear more."
Kyle reached for his bag, pulling out the CD he'd grabbed from the bus. "Yeah, here." He stood,
setting the CD on Colt's desk. "You can keep it. Part of our thank you for letting us stay."
Colt reached for the CD, looking at it and smiling at the band standing in a semi-circle on the cover.
The other faces blurred, but Kyle's jumped off the cover at him, drawing his full attention. Colt opened
the case and then pulled out the CD. He stood and walked over to the stereo system against the wall,
popping the CD in and then hit play.
Kyle shifted nervously. "It's not as soft as what I just sang. But I'm thinking we need to do softer
stuff. The rock works, but fans seem to really like some of our lighter stuff more."
Music filled the room and though it was a bit harder than Colt would listen to normally, he found he
really enjoyed it. Kyle's voice hit each note perfectly and Colt could almost see him up on stage
performing for the crowd.
Walking back to the desk, he stood in front of it, next to Kyle. "You don't realize how good you are,
do you?"
Kyle shrugged. "I'm just another singer. There are a lot of good singers out there."
"They don't have the same sound you do. Your voice is original. You have something different. Ten
years from now when I see you getting awards and traveling the world, I will be able to say I knew you
when."
"I will be lucky to continue touring around the States. Don't see it going worldwide anytime soon."
He glanced up at Colt and smiled. "But thanks, it means a lot that you think we are that good."
Colt turned so he was facing Kyle head on. "I didn't say the band, I said you. Your band may be
great, but you, your voice, you carry them." Colt watched Kyle fidget, looking uncomfortable with the
attention.
"Nah, I couldn't do it alone. If the guys ever quit, I would quit too."
"Then the world would lose a great voice."
The two of them stared at each other a moment and Colt was just about to step forward, pull Kyle
into his arms, when Kyle turned, moving back to the couch and his notebook.
Colt shoved his hands in his pockets again, wondering what he had been thinking. He didn't know
for sure that Kyle was even into men, let alone interested in him. Just because he felt the attraction, didn't
mean it was returned. Kyle had made it clear he wasn't into one night stands, and that was all the two of
them could have. Once the snow stopped, Kyle and the band would be gone, and Colt knew they would
probably never see each other again.
*****
Kyle reached for his notebook, and sat down, placing it over his lap. He was mortified at the sudden
hard-on that seemingly appeared out of nowhere. He hadn't lost control of his body since he was twelve
and going through puberty, but suddenly, as he stood beside Colt, looking into his dark eyes, his body
went rock hard.
Shifting to relieve the pressure, he kept his eyes lowered and tried to keep calm. He tried not to think
about the scent of Colt's cologne, or was that just his own perfect scent? Kyle didn't know, but whatever it
was, he couldn't get enough of it.
He glanced up nervously at Colt, afraid that somehow he knew about the uncomfortable hardness he
hid under the notebook. He watched Colt walk back to his chair behind the desk and sit down.
As he tried to will his body to calm, he cleared his throat and smiled. "I appreciate the compliments,
but really, I couldn't do it without the other guys. Once they start playing, hearing the music, and knowing
they are with me up on stage, well, that's what gives me the courage to stand before the audience and sing.
I would be scared to death without them."
"I think you underestimate yourself. You would do great alone or with the band. You guys are going
to go far. Like I said, I'm not much of a rock fan and I love what I'm hearing." Colt closed his notebook.
"You know, I'm not in the mood to look at these numbers anymore. How 'bout we head outside and
introduce you to the horses."
Kyle shifted and prayed that when he stood his body wouldn't betray him again. "Sure, might as well.
I have plenty of time to think this song over."
"You the main writer or do all you guys work on songs?" Colt asked as he stepped around the desk.
Kyle stood, leaving his notebook on the coffee table. "Tim writes some, but they mostly put the
music to my words. I never learned to play. Tried, it just wasn't my thing. So they pretty much leave the
words to me then I hand those to them to put to music." He followed Colt out of the office and down the
hall. "Once in a while one of them will write a song first and I get to put words to it, but that is harder for
me."
They made it to the entry and Kyle slipped his boots back on while Colt slid into his coat. The two of
them bundled up and stepped out into the frigid air. Kyle followed Colt through the thick snow toward the
barn a few hundred feet from the house.
"You just have cows and horses?" Kyle asked as he tucked his coat tighter around his neck, wishing
he had a hat like Colt to keep the snow from his face.
"Used to have chickens, but one of my ranch hands took them to his place. His kids take care of
them." Colt grabbed the shovel, digging the snow away from the barn door and then slid it open.
Heat rushed out the door to greet Kyle and he smiled. "Your barns heated?"
"Like to spoil my horses," he said with a sheepish grin.
Kyle heard several horses neigh as he followed Colt inside, staying near him, not knowing what to
expect. Five stalls lined one side of the barn, hay and other items cluttered the rest. As they neared the
stalls, several horses leaned out over the stall door, calling out.
"Take it easy boys, I don't have any more carrots, but if you behave maybe I can find you some
grain." He neared the first stall, reaching out to scratch one of the horses along the neck.
Kyle watched amazed. He'd never been close to a horse before and the interaction between Colt and
the animal amazed him. He kept his hands in his pockets as he stood back watching them.
Colt turned, reaching out for Kyle to join him. "Come on, it's safe." Colt stepped to the side to make
room for Kyle to join him in front of the stall.
"This is Betsy. She was my mother's horse. Gentlest thing you will ever know." Colt continued to
caress the horse down the neck.
Kyle stepped forward, standing next to Colt, pulling his hands from his pocket as the horse nudged
his shoulder seeking attention. Raising his hand, he followed Colt's lead and ran his hand down the
horse's neck. "How many do you have?"
"Only five here, but there are close to twenty with the ones scattered around the ranch." Colt stepped
back. "Let me grab some grain for you to feed them."
Kyle continued to pet the horse, his nerves settling as he realized the horse would not hurt him. He
still didn't know if he would be brave enough to climb on one of them, but with the stall door between
them he was doing fine.
Colt returned with a bucket filled with grain and held it out to Kyle. "Take a handful and offer it to
her."
"Out of my hand?"
"She won't bite."
Kyle raised a brow at Colt, but reached into the bucket taking a handful of grain. Holding his hand
out a bit nervously, he watched the horse reach out for it and Kyle took a step back. "You sure she won't
bite?"
Laughing, Colt gently grabbed Kyle's arm and pulled it forward so the horse could gently take the
grains from his palm. "See."
Kyle felt the brush of the horse's mouth against his palm, but that wasn't what had his body tensing.
The feel of Colt's hand on his arm was much more alarming. His body responded by going hard again,
and Kyle held his breath as he glanced up at Colt, wondering if he should run or just press closer to the
stall door to hide his reaction.
Colt didn't release his arm, even after the horse had taken the last of the grain from his hand. In fact,
it looked like they both had forgotten about the horse as their eyes met. He felt Colt's thumb caress over
his coat softly, then his hand slide down his arm to take his hand.
"Tell me I'm not wrong." Colt's voice lowered to almost a whisper. "Tell me the reason you don't go
out with women after your shows is because you don't like women."
Kyle froze, unable to tear his gaze away as Colt's fingers linked with his and he pulled their joined
hands up between them and pressed them to his chest. He could feel the beat of Colt's heart through his
jacket and his own pounded so hard that he thought it might force its way right out of his chest. He didn't
want to pull away, but he never admitted to anyone other than Carl that he was gay. To actually say the
words scared him.
"Kyle?" Colt brought their joined hands higher, kissing Kyle's knuckles. "Tell me you want this too."
Kyle couldn't speak so he nodded. He wanted this, wanted it worse than he could remember wanting
anything. His blood raged through his veins as he watched Colt turn his hand and kiss his palm before
pulling him closer. Feeling their chests brush against each other, Kyle gasped. Colt smiled, dipped his
head, and captured Kyle's mouth softly with his own.
Kyle didn't mean to moan, but the soft sound that rumbled through his chest sure sounded like one.
Colt's lips moved over his as his body ignited. His free arm came up wrapping around Colt as he felt
Colt's do the same to him.
Colt's lips were soft yet firm as they moved over Kyle's for a moment, then opened, gently sucking
Kyle's bottom lip between them and releasing, before doing the same to his top lip. Another moan and he
parted his own lips, allowing Colt to deepen the kiss as he felt Colt's tongue lick over his lips and slide
inside his mouth.
Kyle followed his lead, his own tongue meeting Colt's as their mouth's meshed together harder and
the kiss became more demanding. He felt Colt's arm tighten around him and pull them closer until their
thighs brushed over each other. Kyle couldn't stop himself from leaning into the embrace and another
moan escaped him as he felt both of their aroused bodies brush fully against each other. His cock pulsed,
feeling Colt's against it, and he wondered what it would feel like to feel it without the clothes between
them.
It was the horse forcing her nose between them that had them finally breaking apart and pulling
back, both of them breathless. Kyle ducked his head shyly, his mind racing with thoughts about what just
happened. He had never touched another man in any physical way, and now that he had a small taste, he
wanted more.
Colt took off his hat, running his hand through his hair before replacing it on his head. He took a
deep breath as he looked at Kyle and smiled. "I'm sorry. I probably shouldn't have done that, but I just
couldn't stop myself. I've wanted to kiss you from the moment we met."
Kyle felt his face heat. "Don't be sorry. I felt the same way. I told myself to just stay away from you,
but I couldn't." Kyle turned toward the horse, unable to keep eye contact with Colt. His hand shook as he
reached up to caress the horse's neck.
Colt stepped closer, his hand pressing against Kyle's lower back. "I didn't mean to make you
uncomfortable."
Kyle shook his head and turned to face Colt again. "No, it's not you. It's just…" He turned back to
the horse, unable to look at Colt as he lowered his voice to nearly a whisper. "No one knows. I mean…"
He took a deep breath. "You're the first man I've ever kissed." He didn't dare turn to look at Colt,
embarrassed and a bit ashamed at his lack of experience.
He felt Colt move forward and slide his hand from his back around his waist, pulling him closer. "I'm
honored that I was your first."
His voice was so close to Kyle's ear that Kyle could feel his breath against his skin as he spoke.
"But my next question is…" Colt brushed his lips over Kyle's neck. "Do you regret it?"
"No." Kyle didn't hesitate as he turned to look at Colt, his eyes going wide with worry. "Quite the
opposite." His eyes fell to Colt's lips. "I want more."
Colt raised his free hand up to cup Kyle's cheek, and Kyle pressed his face into his palm. His pulse
still raced and he prayed that he wouldn't regret this all later, but he was tired of being alone and
wondering. He wanted this experience, even if it was only for today.
"How much more?" Colt leaned in, his lips moving over Kyle's jaw.
Kyle bowed his head, catching Colt's mouth against his own, speaking against his lips. "However
much you want to give me."
Colt hooked his fingers in the belt loops of Kyle's Levi's and pulled him against him, their mouths
still touching. "I want more than you might be willing to give."
"Not possible." Kyle whispered and kissed Colt hard, wrapping his own arms back around him and
holding him tight against him.
He was willing to give whatever Colt wanted. Never before had a man tempted him the way Colt
did. Make him yearn for things that he swore he would never do. Tasting Colt's kiss, inhaling his musky
scent, and feeling his hard body pressed against him, was more than Kyle could have ever desired. He felt
that the years of celibacy and denial had led him to this point. To Colt. Colt was the one who he wanted to
show him, teach him, and share with him all the knowledge he, up until now, only wondered about.
Colt returned his kiss, turning their bodies to press Kyle back against the wall between the two stall
doors. His lips moving softly over Kyle's before gently biting at his bottom lip and sucking it into his
mouth.
Their bodies rocked against each other as Kyle caressed his hands up Colt's back, sliding his hands
under his coat. He marveled at the feel of another man's hard body and the feel of hard muscles pressing
against him. His cock pushed hard against his zipper and he felt Colt's doing the same as they swayed
their bodies together.
Colt pulled back, resting his forehead against Kyle's.
"I want you, Kyle. But not here. Not if it's your first time." His hands still held Kyle's hips, his body
still leaned close.
Kyle felt the heat of Colt's body through his shirt as he continued to run his hand over his back. He
stared at Colt, a mix of arousal and fear colliding inside him. He wanted Colt, felt like his life depended
on this experience, yet, the thought of going back into the house where the others might see them was
petrifying.
"They don't know. Only Carl knows." Kyle lowered his gaze ashamed.
"You don't want them to know?" Colt bent his head, biting gently at Kyle's chin.
Arching his neck back, allowing Colt to move his mouth down over his neck. "I didn't, but… Oh
God, don't stop." He closed his eyes as Colt's whiskers grazed over his skin and his lips pressed to the
vein in his neck and sucked. "Until now, until you, there was no reason to bring it up. I don't know how
they would react, how fans will react if they knew."
Colt pulled away but kept his hands where they were on his hips. "I'm not going to force anything,
Kyle. This has to be your choice. We can stop…"
"No," Kyle interrupted. "I want this." He pulled back needing to escape Colt's touch to think clearly.
"I've spent my entire life doing without. Never experiencing anything, anyone. I'm tired of it, but I'm
scared." He didn't see any reason to lie to Colt. He wanted to be straight up with him and lay it all out. If
Colt hated him for it, it was better to know now than pretend.
"I have been attracted to other men, Colt, but no one ever made me want to act on it like you do. I
have never felt this before with someone." He shoved his hands into his pockets, moving back a couple
steps. "Up until meeting you, the fantasy of it was enough, but I am tired of living on fantasies. Tired of
being alone."
Colt leaned back against the stall door. The horse rested his head against his shoulder and Colt
reached up to run his hand over the horse's nose. "So what do you want, Kyle?"
Kyle sighed, knowing he couldn't walk away. His attraction to Colt was too strong. The need and
desire for the man almost overwhelming. Raising his gaze to Colt's he took a couple steps toward him.
"You. I want you."
Colt nodded and reached out his hand to Kyle. "Then come here."
Kyle stepped forward, closing the distance between them, stopping when they were nearly brushing
against each other again, his hand taking Colt's. "I'm nervous."
"We can go slow. No one has to know. You said Carl already knows, right? Come to my room
tonight. Spend the night with me. Let me show you what you have been missing."
Kyle knew he couldn't resist. The pull between them was too intense. He brought his lips back to
Colt's kissing him softly, not wanting this to end, not wanting to wait until tonight. "Tonight," he
whispered against his lips. "Too far away."
Colt laughed. "I am not taking you in the barn your first time, Kyle. I have more respect for you than
that."
The thought of spending the rest of the day around Colt, and not being able to touch him after what
he just experienced seemed nearly impossible. Kyle wanted him now. It was as if a floodgate of emotions
and arousal opened, and now poured through the very being of his body. He wanted to experience it all
now. But, he was also flattered that Colt cared enough to not make his first time cheap and fast. Kyle's
mind was already hard at work thinking about Colt in bed and the things they would do.
"Can we stay here awhile longer? I'm not ready to let go." Kyle's arms slid around Colt, holding him
tighter as he nipped at Colt's ear.
"You keep doing that and we can stay here the rest of the day."
"Good."
Colt's body was wound so tight by the time they were clearing dinner dishes from the table that it
took every bit of control he had to keep his hands off Kyle once they made it back to the house. His cock
still pressed hard against his pants from time to time, even hours after their impromptu make-out session
in the barn.
The two of them had spent over an hour out there together, holding each other and kissing. Now,
watching Kyle from across the table, he felt cold and alone without the other man's body pressed against
his.
He knew he was playing with fire. Kyle would be leaving in a day or two, and already Colt felt the
first signs of attachment forming inside him. He liked Kyle a lot and wanted a chance to know him better.
He wasn't much for one night stands and the fact that he was going to be Kyle's first made having a one-
time thing even harder to swallow.
Kyle met his gaze across the table and Colt smiled. Silent communication of what was yet to come
tonight had both men shifting in their seats. He wanted to grab Kyle by the hand and run to the bedroom
where they could be alone.
"I think I have some music to go with that ballad you gave me, Kyle. You want to try it out?" Luis
asked as the last of the dishes were placed into the dishwasher.
Kyle glanced at Colt, then back at Luis. "Sure. You got your guitar?"
"Yep, it's up in my room. Let me grab it." Luis left the kitchen in a hurry.
"You don't mind if we practice, do you?" Kyle turned back to Colt.
"No, not at all. After hearing you sing earlier, I'm kinda interested in hearing it put to music. We can
move into the living room. Be more comfortable there." Colt stood.
"You guys go ahead. Matt and I will finish cleaning up and meet you in there." Carl rinsed off the
roast pan in the sink.
"Thanks guys." Kyle, Tim and Colt left the table and headed down the hall to the large living room.
"I love this room." Tim took a seat on the long black leather couch, looking around the room.
Colt watched as Kyle did the same, taking in the large stone fireplace, leather furniture, and high
beamed ceiling. Western art hung on the walls, around a large elk head that protruded from the center of
one of the walls. A couple bookcases lined another wall.
"Thanks. I remodeled it after my parents died. Wanted something a bit more updated." Colt took a
seat in a large black leather recliner. "So doesn't seem to take you long to come up with music. Didn't you
just give him that song this afternoon?" Colt looked at Kyle.
"Yeah, some are like that. The words just sort of fell into place for me today. I guess Luis has been
working on it since. Some songs we work for weeks on. It's kinda nice when they just fall into place like
this one seemed to." Kyle sat at the other end of the large couch.
"Still a bit rough at the end, but I thought you guys might help out on that." Luis walked in with his
acoustic guitar in one hand, and a bunch of papers in his other." He handed Kyle one set of papers and
kept the other for himself.
Kyle stood, silently reading.
"Ready?" Luis sat in another chair across from him, his guitar resting on his knee as he tuned it.
"Yep. Let's give it a go." Kyle cleared his throat as Luis started to play.
Colt sat back, relaxing in the chair as he watched Kyle, his eyes traveling over the strong body that
he would be holding in his arms in just a few hours. His cock twitched at the thought. He was shocked
when Kyle told him he had never even kissed another man. It gave Colt a perverse thrill to know that he
was the first. That he would be the first man to touch Kyle in so many different ways.
Carl and Matt slipped into the room, taking seats just as Kyle started to sing. Everyone's attention
was on Kyle as they heard the words to the song for the first time. Colt had already heard them but
hearing them now, with music behind them, only added to the feel. The song sounded great.
Kyle glanced up from his notes and nodded to Colt as he sang. Their eyes locking for a brief moment
as Kyle sang the chorus. Colt felt like Kyle was singing the words directly to him, and felt something
deep inside him stir, making him more certain that being with Kyle tonight would be a mistake, but
knowing it would be one he would make anyway. Nothing would keep them apart tonight, no matter what
the outcome might be later.
Colt traced his finger down the arm of the leather chair listening to Kyle's voice flood the house with
music. Kyle's voice was amazing and it was no surprise to Colt, now that he had heard it, that the band
was finding success fast. With Kyle at the lead, the band would go far. Kyle had a gruff edge to his voice.
It was unique and different, and drew you right into the song.
Luis stopped playing a few moments before the song ended but Kyle continued, singing the words
louder as he finished the song. As the last few words left him, he once again glanced at Colt smiling.
"That was amazing." Carl clapped. "You boys have really done something big with that one."
"I just need to work on the ending a bit." Luis strummed his guitar lazily. "But it was Kyle. He wrote
a bestseller with that one."
Kyle blushed as he sat down. "Guess something good can come out of being snowed in." He again
glanced at Colt, and he had no trouble seeing the double meaning reflected in Kyle's eyes.
They sat around for the next hour, laughing, telling Colt stories about being on the road, and even
playing a few more songs. Colt loved the feel of having a house full of people. He was so used to being
alone that having everyone around made his home come alive. Even so, he still watched the clock,
waiting for everyone to turn in so he could finally hold Kyle in his arms again.
*****
Kyle felt Colt's stare on him most of the night, and he enjoyed the way it felt. He was nervous the
others would notice, but not enough for it to bother him too much. It was nice to be able to sit around
somewhere other than a motel room and work on their songs. He didn't have to worry about disturbing
people next door or quieting down at a certain time.
It was after eleven before the others started to wander to bed. Tim and Luis headed off first. Matt
followed them shortly after.
Carl stretched and yawned, glancing between Colt and Kyle. "Think I am going to head up. You
coming, Kyle?"
"Nah, think I will stay up a bit longer. Maybe work on another song." Kyle hated lying to Carl, and
really he had no reason to, but he just wasn't ready deal with admitting openly to anyone what was going
on.
"Alright then. See you later when you come up." Carl turned to Colt. "Thank you again for your
hospitality."
Colt smiled. "It's my pleasure. Nice to have people around for a change."
Carl nodded, waved, and made his way out of the room leaving Colt and Kyle alone. They stared at
each other in silence as they listened to doors upstairs shut. Once it was silent, Colt stood, moving over to
the couch beside Kyle.
"Do you know how hard it was to keep my hands off you all night?" He reached over linking his
hand with Kyle's.
Kyle swallowed hard and nodded. "Yeah, I do." His stomach tightened nervously now that they were
alone.
"You still want this?" Colt met his eyes and he tightened his grasp on Kyle's hand.
"Yes. Just nervous," Kyle admitted.
"Don't be. We don't have to do anything you don't want. We can go slow."
Kyle turned on the couch so he was facing Colt. "I'm sorry. I wish I had more experience."
Colt shook his head. "Do you know what a turn on it is to know that I'm your first? That you are
willing to let me touch you when no other has."
A blush worked its way up Kyle's neck. "I've never wanted anyone to touch me, until you."
Kyle felt like he was fourteen again, nervous and unsure of himself. He doubted there were many
virgins around his age and he wished he had just gotten this over with years ago. He wanted to please Colt
and was so scared that he would let him down.
"Kyle?" Colt's voice lowered.
"Yeah?"
"Kiss me." Colt bent forward, his mouth descending on Kyle's.
The instant their lips touched, Kyle calmed. It felt natural and right to be in Colt's arms, kissing and
holding him close. His nerves eased as his body lit up with arousal. One simple kiss and it was all Kyle
could do not to beg for more.
Colt kissed him hard, wrapping his arms around him and pulling him closer. His mouth moved
expertly over Kyle's, licking and sucking on his lips, before pressing forward to find Kyle's tongue with
his own. Kyle responded, matching Colt's touches and caresses with his own, giving himself to the kiss
and letting everything else fade away.
The two of them moved against each other as Kyle leaned back into the couch and Colt moved to
straddle his lap. Kyle felt Colt's weight settle against him and thrust his hips up slightly, bringing their
cocks flush against each other, their pants the only thing keeping them apart.
Colt slid his hand around Kyle's waist, pulling the shirt from his waistband and slipping his hands up
Kyle's stomach, lifting the shirt as he went.
Kyle did the same, his hand moving under Colt's shirt and up his back, his fingers pressing against
his warm skin. He wanted to feel that skin against him, feel Colt's naked body against his own. "Your
room. Can we go to your room?" Kyle mumbled between kisses.
Colt pulled back easing off Kyle's lap and stood as he reached his hand out to him to help him up. "I
just want you to be sure this is what you want."
Kyle straightened, going right into Colt's arms again. "I'm twenty-eight. I think I'm more than ready.
I have waited long enough."
Colt kissed him again and then stepped back. "Then I won't make you wait any longer. Come on."
He linked their hands together and made for the stairway leading up to the rooms.
Kyle held his breath as they walked past the other bedrooms, sure that one of the doors would open
and they would be caught holding hands and heading to Colt's room. Kyle wished the thought didn't
bother him, but it did. He was so scared what his friends would say if they only knew what he was about
to do.
Forcing the thought from his mind, not wanting to let anything ruin tonight, he kept his eyes focused
on the end of the hall and Colt's door. He knew once he stepped inside Colt's room that there would be no
turning back. His life was about to change. A change that was long overdue, and he welcomed it, even if
it did scare him.
Colt opened the door, reaching to the side to flip on the light as they entered. As Kyle stepped in
behind him, he glanced around the room. A large king-sized bed filled the room, a thick patchwork quilt
covered the bed. Two light brown pillows matched the color of the carpet and drapes. A huge oak dresser
sat against one wall, matching the nightstands on either side of the bed. Near the front window, a small
desk sat with a lamp and several papers on top of it.
Colt closed the door and then stood to stare at Kyle. "I have thought about this all day. Finally, I
have you alone."
Kyle smiled. "You had me alone in the barn."
"And I told you I wasn't going to do anything in there with you. Not for your first time." Colt let go
of his hand and moved toward the window, shutting the curtains. "We can play in the barn tomorrow if
you want, but I wanted you here, in my bed for your first time."
Kyle felt his body harden as he glanced between Colt and the bed. He looked up at Colt, unsure what
to do.
As if reading his mind Colt stepped forward and once again wrapped his arms around Kyle and
kissed him. "We will go slow. If you want me to stop, tell me."
"I won't. I mean I won't want to stop." Kyle whispered against Colt's mouth, his hands once more
sliding up and under Colt's shirt and lifting it over his head.
His eyes traveled over Colt's muscular stomach and dark hair that covered his chest and trailed down
below the waist of his pants. Kyle assumed it was working the ranch that kept Colt in such good shape.
He felt a moment of insecurity that his own body was nowhere as beautiful as Colt's, but forced the
thought back. Tossing the shirt aside, Kyle reached back, running the tips of his fingers over Colt's chest,
stopping to circle the pad of his fingers over each nipple and smiling at the way it made Colt gasp.
Wanting to hear the sound again, Kyle continued to tease one nipple with his finger, while lowering
his mouth to the other and flicking his tongue over the firm peak. He loved the scent and taste of Colt's
skin, and closed his lips around the nipple, sucking gently.
"Shit, Kyle." Colt's fingers combed through his long hair, holding his head to his chest. "You sure
this is your first time?"
Kyle smiled around the nipple, flicking his tongue over it again before moving to the other one. He
braced one hand on Colt's hip, the other on his shoulder. Colt slid one of his hands under his shirt, and the
warmth of his hand pressed over his back. He shivered at the touch as he rose up and found Colt's mouth
with his own.
Colt's hand left his hair and joined the other one under his shirt, raising it higher before breaking the
kiss and pulling it over Kyle's head. Kyle watched as Colt's eyes traveled down his chest, over his
stomach, and stopped on the hard ridge outlined through his pants. His cock stirred as Colt stared at it,
almost as if it knew what was about to happen.
When Colt reached for the button on Kyle's pants, he inhaled hard, watching as Colt's fingers worked
the button and then slowly slid the zipper down. Colt glanced up at him, their gaze locking together as
Colt slid his hands over his hips and pushed his pants down.
Kyle's cock jutted forward as Colt lowered farther down until he was kneeling before him. Reaching
down, Colt pulled off one shoe and then the other before doing the same with his socks. Kyle lifted each
leg as Colt pulled his pants the rest of the way off.
Kyle had been around other men naked, in showers, gyms, and just changing in small motel rooms,
but never had it been like this. His body's response was entirely different as his cock pressed up, almost
touching his stomach as he watched Colt staring at him.
He wanted to see Colt, feel Colt, and touch him. Reaching out, Kyle repeated the same process on
Colt, lowering his pants, falling to his knees and undressing him. Only he didn't raise back up. Colt's cock
was even with his eyes, and Kyle couldn't resist leaning forward and licking up the thick shaft and taking
the head into his mouth.
He had never touched another man's cock, never felt lips upon his own, but he knew instinctively
what to do. He heard Colt moan and glanced up, meeting his lover's stare. Heat and lust raged in his eyes
and Kyle loved that he made Colt feel that way. Working his mouth down Colt's cock, he licked and
sucked, doing everything he could think of that he would like done to his own. Bringing his hand up, he
cupped Colt's balls in one hand, gripping the back of his leg with the other.
"Oh God," Colt gasped. "Don't stop. That is so good. Yeah, just like that."
Kyle felt Colt's hand move through his hair again. Kyle loved the feel of Colt's fingers working
through the long stands almost as much as he loved the salty wetness that flowed over his tongue. He had
tasted his own pre-cum before but Colt's was better than anything he ever imagined.
"Stop," Colt said.
Kyle stopped, looking up, wondering if he was doing something wrong.
Colt stepped back, pulling his cock gently from Kyle's mouth. "I don't want to come that way. Not
now. Not the first time." He reached for Kyle, pulling him up off the floor to stand in front of him. "Come
here." He led Kyle to the bed and kissed him softly. "Lay down. Let me touch you for a minute."
Kyle had no arguments. The thought of Colt's hands on him was more than okay. He wanted to feel
him, and share every experience he could with Colt. He lay back on the bed, reaching a hand out for Colt
to join him.
Colt knelt on the bed, easing up beside Kyle before lying down. He brushed his hand down Kyle's
stomach, causing Kyle's muscles to twitch. "You okay?" Colt lowered his mouth to Kyle's shoulder,
laying soft kisses across it.
"Yes. I don't think I've ever been better." Kyle smiled, turning his head to catch Colt's mouth with his
own. The kiss went from soft to demanding in seconds as both men rolled to their sides and Colt slid his
thigh between Kyle's legs, bringing their hardened cocks together.
Kyle groaned at the first touch, and then started to move his hips back and forth trying to increase the
pressure and pleasure between them. Colt's kisses were hard and Kyle responded, giving him what he
desired back.
They were both breathing heavy as Colt pulled back, placing a hand on Kyle's leg as he stared down
at him. "Roll on your back. Let me please you."
Kyle did as he was asked.
Colt watched him for a moment, then lifted one leg over him, straddling him, and once again
bringing them flush against each other as he leaned down to kiss Kyle.
Kyle wrapped his arms around him, trying to resist the urge to thrust his hips up to press his cock
against Colt's. He savored the way Colt's days growth of whiskers scratched at his jaw as they kissed,
wanting to pull him back for more when Colt finally eased back.
Colt braced his hands on Kyle's chest, staring down at him. Kyle was sure he had the same look of
heated lust in his eyes that he saw in Colt's.
Reaching his hand up, Kyle pinched at Colt's nipple. "I love that look you get when I do that."
Colt smiled, grabbing Kyle's hand in his. "I thought I was supposed to be pleasing you."
Kyle lifted his hips playfully. "You are."
"Not like I want to." Colt moved down Kyle's body, bending down again to trail his tongue down
Kyle's stomach.
Kyle was losing his mind and it would only get better. The feel of Colt's tongue on his skin was like
nothing he had ever known and as he watched Colt move lower, down his body, he held his breath,
wondering if he would be able to maintain control once Colt got to his cock.
His cock jerked and Kyle watched Colt smile as he reached for it.
"Looks like he wants a little attention." Colt's hand wrapped around him.
Kyle stiffened, his entire body tensing as Colt tightened his grip and started to move his hand over
him.
"I don't know if I can last." Kyle groaned again, his hips moving up and down, thrusting his cock
through Colt's grip.
"I plan on making you come several times tonight. Don't hold back on my account." Colt smiled
leaning down to lick the crystal drop that seeped from the tip of Kyle's cock.
Kyle bit his lip as he lifted his hips off the bed. Colt lowered his mouth around him, sliding his
tongue over him as his lips closed and sucked. Kyle threw back his head, his eyes closing as he tuned
everything else out but the feel of Colt's mouth around him. The warm, moist heat surrounding him had
his body shaking and fists gripping the comforter beneath him.
He felt Colt shifting and opened his eyes, watching him slide farther down his body, never once
removing his mouth from his cock. Colt settled between his legs, one hand coming up to play with his
balls as he used the other to slide his finger over his asshole.
Kyle had used toys before, and even his own fingers, but the feel of Colt touching him there had him
crying out. He wanted more and pressed his ass down against the finger, letting Colt slide it inside him.
His cock pulsed and wept into Colt's mouth. It was more pleasure than he could have ever imagined.
He wanted to cry when Colt suddenly pulled his mouth off him, but the cry was replaced with a
moan as he felt Colt take one of his balls into his mouth and suck. The finger still moved in and out of
him, and he didn't even try to still his hips as he pushed back against it. Reaching down, he grabbed his
cock in his own hand, holding it tight, but scared to stroke and bring himself off too soon.
From one ball to the other, Colt licked, bit, and sucked over every inch, then lowered his mouth
more. Kyle felt the finger leave him and Colt's mouth replace it. He lifted his hips, pressing against the
tongue that now threatened to penetrate him.
"Colt, oh God." Kyle loved the way the tip of Colt's tongue felt against him as Colt used his hands to
push Kyle's legs wider apart and open him more.
Kyle didn't know what he liked better, Colt's tongue flicking over his ass or over his cock. Both
drove him crazy. He moved his hand up and down his own cock slowly, feeling his release begging to
burst forth.
Colt's tongue pressed inside him, and that was it. If he didn't let go of his cock now, he would be
coming all over the place. He dropped his hands to his sides, once more fisting the blanket under him.
Colt continued to lick and suck against his hole and Kyle swore he was going to die from the pleasure.
Colt pulled back several minutes later, going up on his knees, smiling down at Kyle. "I want to be
inside you."
"Please," Kyle said as he tried to catch his breath.
There was no nervousness as he watched Colt climb from the bed and reach into the nightstand. He
grabbed a condom, ripped it open and rolled it on. Kyle watched, wishing he could have had the pleasure
of sliding it over him. Reaching back in the drawer, Colt pulled out a bottle of clear liquid and eased back
on the bed.
Colt lay down beside Kyle, kissing him hard, and Kyle licked at Colt's lips, tasting himself from the
man's mouth. His entire body shook with need, his cock ached for release, but he relished the feel of Colt
beside him as he turned against his body and wrapping his arms around him to pull him closer.
"Last chance to back out, but please don't." Colt leaned on one arm, the other caressing over Kyle's
cheek.
"No backing out. I want this. Want you." Kyle met his eyes. "I've waited my whole life for this. For
you." Kyle whispered, revealing more of the feelings that churned inside him than he probably should
have.
Colt didn't scare, didn't back away. He leaned down and kissed Kyle again. "Tell me again."
"I want you. Hell, maybe even need you." Kyle licked his lips. "Please."
Colt moved from him, down the bed and settled between Kyle's legs. Reaching down, Colt stroked
his own cock several times before popping open the bottle and drizzling lube over the latex covered
hardness. He stroked it a couple more times, his gaze rising to meet Kyle's.
Kyle watched Colt, letting his legs fall farther apart as Colt moved forward. Kyle tensed at the first
touch of Colt's hard length against him.
"Easy, relax. I will go slowly. Push against me, don't clench. Push out, it will make it easier." Colt
kept his eyes locked with him as he pressed forward again.
Kyle felt his ass part as Colt pressed forward. He tried to do as Colt said and push back, opening
easier for him. He cringed for a moment as he stretched but then relaxed as Colt settled inside him.
"Damn you are so tight," Colt said. "You okay?"
"Yeah, good." Kyle lifted his hips a bit, adjusting to the feeling.
Colt reached down, took Kyle's cock in one hand, and wrapped the other around Kyle's leg. He kept
his eyes locked with Kyle's as he slowly started to move.
"Oh…" Kyle gasped. He waited his whole life for this moment, and feeling Colt inside him was
more than he ever dreamed it would be. His own cock grew harder as he relaxed back and started working
his own body against Colt's.
Kyle's body stretched around Colt. Pain quickly turned to pleasure, and he let out several hard
breaths as he continued working with Colt to bring them both the pleasure they desired. Colt's eyes never
left his, and the hard, lusty stare only added to his arousal.
Colt increased his speed as he rested Kyle's legs over his shoulders and used his free hand to reach
down and tease at Kyle's balls. Kyle watched the head of his cock disappear and then reappear from Colt's
hand. Reaching down, he wrapped his own hand around Colt's and worked himself with him. The
pressure of both hands squeezing over him, and the feel of Colt's cock inside him was pushing him
quickly over the edge. He wouldn't last long, his balls were already growing heavier and tighter each time
Colt slid deep into him.
A sheen of sweat appeared over Colt's body and Kyle wanted to arch up and lick him, taste it from
his skin. His stomach muscles clenched as he felt his orgasm approach, his back tingling and the sudden
electrical jolts flashing through his balls.
"Going to… Can't stop. Ugh." He tossed his head back, arching his body as he lost control. His cock
exploded shooting hot jets of cum over Colt's hand and onto his own stomach. His body shook as Colt
continued to stroke him, using his release to coat his cock and milk everything from him.
"So sexy when you come." Colt's breathless voice drew Kyle to open his eyes and stare at the man
who still speared into him.
Kyle's chest heaved as he once again found a rhythm and worked his ass over Colt's cock, wanting to
feel and see Colt find the same pleasure he just did. Colt released Kyle's cock, gripped his thighs with
both hands and pulled Kyle's ass closer to him, forcing his hips to rise higher. Colt broke eye contact and
turned his gaze to what was going on where they connected, making Kyle wish he could watch. Colt's
thrusts grew stronger and Kyle watched as Colt's brow tensed, his breathing hitched and he let out a loud
grunt as he slammed deep one more time and held still, his cock pulsing inside Kyle as he found his
release.
Kyle reached up and scratched his fingers down his lover's chest. Colt raised his gaze up, meeting
Kyle's and smiled as he rested his head against Kyle's calf. The two of them stayed silent for several
minutes just staring at each other as they recovered from their shared pleasure.
Kyle broke the silence. "I've never felt anything so amazing."
Colt surprised him by agreeing. "I don't think I have either."
Colt pulled out of him and moved back, letting Kyle's legs drop, before falling on the bed beside
him. Kyle turned to his side and wrapped his arms around Colt, seeking his mouth for a long kiss. The
two of them pressed together on their sides, linking their legs as they both relaxed back on the bed.
"You feel okay?" Colt caressed Kyle's long hair back from his face with his finger.
"Yes. I always expected it to hurt, but you made it perfect. I'm just a little sore." Kyle nipped at
Colt's chin. "I don't know why I waited so long."
"I'm glad you did."
"Me, too."
Kyle closed his eyes, resting his head against Colt's shoulder. He tried to remember the last time he
felt so comfortable. For the first time in his life, he was accepted and able to be himself without worry of
judgment. He didn't want to walk out the bedroom door and face reality again, and go back into denial
about who he was. What weighed even heavier on him than that was the thought that in just a day or two
he would be leaving Colt, and all this would be nothing more than a memory.
Colt shifted, rolling to his back allowing Kyle to lay his head against his chest and listen to the
steady beat of his heart. Kyle let the rhythm ease him into sleep.
Colt rolled over and smiled. Kyle slept silently on his back beside him. They were both still nude and
Colt's gaze traveled up and down Kyle's body, feeling hunger stir inside him again. It had been years
since he had spent all night with someone, and he now realized how much he missed it. Kyle was nothing
like any of the other men he had been with. He would have never thought that a rock star with beautiful,
long hair would ever catch his eye, yet, something about Kyle drew Colt like a magnet to metal.
Hooking his arm around Kyle's back, he moved closer, leaning down to kiss over Kyle's spine. As
Kyle stirred, turning his head to look at him, Colt smiled. "Morning."
A slow smile played over Kyle's face as he rolled over. "Mmm, morning."
Kyle wiped his hand down his face and reached for Colt. "I didn't mean to fall asleep on you."
"We both fell asleep." Colt kissed Kyle and then lay down beside him.
"Did I snore?"
"Horribly." Colt laughed, seeing Kyle's reaction. "No. If you did, I didn't hear it."
"Good." Kyle wrapped his body around Colt's. "I don't want to go out there."
Colt knew exactly how he felt. He would be lying if he said that it didn't bother him that he couldn't
tease and hold Kyle in public, but he had enough respect for him to keep his distance around the others.
"You can stay. I have to run out and feed the horses, but I won't be long." He wedged his thigh
between Kyle's legs.
"I wish. If I don't go out, they will wonder where I am and come hunting me down."
"I can tell them to leave you alone. You fell asleep playing chess with me last night."
"Is that what that is called? Chess?" Kyle smiled.
"Mmm, no. I think what we did last night was called perfection." Colt ran his hand up Kyle's side.
"Think I would like to play again tonight."
"Me, too." Kyle closed his eyes, relaxing back on the bed.
"You okay?" Colt leaned forward, biting gently at Kyle's nipple.
Kyle hissed, arching his back, pressing his chest closer to Colt's mouth. "Yeah. Just wish I had told
them a long time ago. Now I don't know how."
"Do you really think they will condemn you for being gay?" Colt moved his mouth from one nipple
to the other, biting once again.
"I don't know. They've never said anything bad. They know Carl is gay, never given him shit. Just
hard to tell them."
Colt raised his head, trying to read the look in Kyle's eyes. "Are you scared of telling them, or scared
of admitting it out loud?"
Kyle started to say something, then quickly closed his mouth and turned his head away.
"I think it's you that isn't comfortable with your being gay. It's not their issue. It's yours."
Colt sat up, turning and placing his palm against Kyle's chest. "Once you accept who you are, it will
be a lot easier to tell others."
Colt couldn't understand what Kyle was going through. He had come out at a young age, never
doubting who he was. He didn't hide it from anyone. He knew that being comfortable with yourself made
a huge difference in every part of your life. His parents had supported him. They only wanted him to be
happy, they didn't care with who.
"You said Carl knows?"
"Yeah, but he's gay, too. It was different."
Colt shook his head. "Telling a friend is telling a friend. If the others are really friends, it won't
matter at all who you sleep with."
Kyle sat up, resting his head against Colt's back, rubbing his hand over the warm skin. "I know. I
will tell them, I just have to figure out how."
Colt wanted to push the issue, but what was the point. Kyle would be gone soon and it wouldn't
matter. He could go back into hiding if he wanted to, and as much as it bothered Colt, he had no right to
try to talk him into anything different.
*****
Kyle slipped out the door right before Colt followed. They gave each other a final glance before
Kyle opened his own bedroom door and slipped inside. Shutting it quietly, he made his way to the
bathroom, stripping down, and then stepping into the shower.
He couldn't believe all that happened the night before. His body felt slightly sore, but it was a feeling
he loved. It reminded him of how great it felt to be in Colt's arms. He wondered if all the sudden
emotions he was feeling for Colt were only because he was his first, or if there was something more there.
He hated parting from him today. Wanted to go with him out to the barn and spend the day with him
making out in the hay. Only witnesses out there were the horses and he was sure they weren't going to be
talking.
He felt horrible that he had to hide everything. In his perfect world, he would be able to hug and hold
Colt in front of his friends, just as they did when they brought women back to the motel. But Colt wasn't
just someone to bring back to the motel. He wasn't some easy fan who was just looking for a night with
the band. Colt was so much more.
Rinsing the shampoo from his hair, he pressed his forehead to the wet tile, watching the water run
down his feet and into the drain. He had to find a way to come out. Be honest with the others about who
he was. He might be leaving Colt in a few days, but that didn't mean someone else wouldn't come along.
If they did, Kyle wanted to be able to spend time with that person. He didn't want to hide it from the guys.
The fans, well they were different. He needed to hide his sexuality or risk losing fans, but his friends.
They wouldn't leave him. He hoped.
He shut off the shower, dried off, and combed his fingers through his long, brown hair. Wrapping the
towel around his waist, he made his way out into the bedroom to get dressed. As he opened the bathroom
door, he found Carl sitting up in bed, staring at him.
"Morning." Kyle walked to his bag and pulled out a fresh pair of boxers and his Levi's.
"Morning," Carl said. "You had a long night. Couldn't sleep?"
Kyle kept his gaze lowered as he pulled on the boxers, and then let the towel drop to the floor, before
pulling on his pants. "Yeah, Colt and I got to talking."
Carl coughed. "Talking hmm?"
"Yep. Was telling me about the ranch." He finally looked over at Carl and then quickly looked back
down. He could see by the look on Carl's face, he wasn't buying the story.
"Colt's a pretty good guy. You know, I think he's gay."
Kyle shrugged. "Could be. Saw a picture of him with another guy in his office."
He hated lying to Carl and really, he had no reason to. But for some reason, he just couldn't bring
himself to say it out loud.
Carl pushed up from the bed, running his hand through his thinning gray hair. "Attractive guy, isn't
he?"
"Who Colt? I guess he's attractive enough."
Carl laughed as he grabbed his own clothes and headed for the bathroom, stopping along the way to
stand right beside Kyle. "Attractive enough to leave a pretty little hickey on your neck."
Kyle's hand shot to his neck, giving him away.
Carl only laughed harder, stepping into the bathroom.
Kyle turned to the dresser mirror, arching his neck at every angle, looking for the hickey, cursing
when he found nothing. Carl knew, and Kyle had just all but confirmed something happened. Feeling like
a fool, he shook his head and went down in search of coffee.
*****
Colt tossed the hay over the stall door and sighed as he watched Briff lower his head to take a
healthy bite. The horse had it so easy. No rock stars in his life to mess with his head or heart.
Colt reached up and pulled the hat off his head, tossing it toward the other hay bales. He needed to
get with it. He couldn't stop repeating the memory of the night over and over again in his mind.
Kyle would be leaving in a couple days and it was stupid to get attached, but damn if he didn't think
it was already too late to stop it. Somehow, in the course of just two days the young singer had already
stirred feelings Colt swore he shouldn't be feeling so soon.
There was no future for the two of them, but hell if he didn't want one. That in itself shocked him. He
wasn't the type to want commitments, he did just fine on his own since Richard died. When the periods of
loneliness hit, he did fine heading into Laramie and finding someone to pass a night with. Once the itch
was scratched, he headed back to the ranch, never giving it a second thought. Kyle had him thinking long-
term thoughts after just one night together. Figured the one man he couldn't have would be the one to stir
his emotions.
Tossing the last leaf of hay in the end stall, he moved back over to the bales on the other side of the
barn. Taking a seat on one of them, he tried to see any way that the two of them could see each other
again. Once the band got back on the road, the chances of Kyle being able to get away were slim. Hell,
would Kyle even want to see him again?
Here he was trying to figure out a future he didn't even know was possible. Thinking Kyle would
want to see him again was a nice thought, but Kyle hadn't really said anything to suggest it.
The night they shared was great, but Colt had to face reality, one or two more nights might be all
they had. He wanted to run back into the house and pull Kyle against him, spend the day in bed having
sex and talking, but he couldn't even do that.
Kyle wasn't about to come out to his friends anytime soon. Colt could tell that from their talk this
morning. He was too scared of their reaction. Part of Colt thought about forcing it. Walking in, drawing
Kyle to him and kissing him in front of the others, but hell, that would probably only make matters worse,
and then where would they be? Kyle would never speak to him again, and that was the last thing Colt
wanted.
Feeling like a fool for even caring, Colt reached for his hat and set it back on his head before he
stood. "I'll be back later today, and I promise not to forget your carrots."
One of the horses called back to him as if understanding. Colt smiled as he tucked the collar of his
coat tight under his chin before heading back to the house. The snow was still coming down in force, and
unlike yesterday, today, Colt prayed it would never stop.
Kyle looked up from his notebook as Colt walked into the kitchen. "Hey, I was tempted to come out
and help, but one look outside I decided to play wimp and stay in where it was warm."
Colt laughed as he retrieved his coffee cup from the counter and filled it. "Snow hasn't let up. If
anything, it's gotten worse." He took a seat at the bar beside Kyle, pressing his knee against his.
Kyle reached down and set his hand on Colt's knee, keeping an ear out for anyone coming in.
"Yesterday that news would have bothered me, but after last night I can't say I'm complaining about being
stuck here a bit longer."
Colt placed his hands over Kyle's and gave it a squeeze. "I was thinking the same thing outside." He
took a sip of his coffee. "I know you have dates to keep, but I kinda enjoy having you here."
Relief flowed through Kyle hearing that. He feared that it was just a one-night thing for Colt and that
he would be glad to be rid of him now that they had shared the night together. He spent the morning
trying to work through his feelings and figure out how much of what he was feeling was just because of it
being his first time and how much of this new ache inside his chest was from real feelings for Colt.
Colt set his cup down and leaned close, brushing his lips over Kyle's jaw. "What you working on?"
Kyle turned his head and caught Colt's lips with his own. The kiss quickly deepened and when they
pulled back, Kyle let his head fall against Colt's shoulder not wanting to break the contact between them.
"A couple song ideas came to me this morning. I was working on them."
Colt reached over, pulled the notebook open and started to read what Kyle was writing.
Kyle stayed against his shoulder. "You seem to inspire me."
"I inspired this?"
Kyle lifted his head from Colt's shoulder, hoping the words wouldn't scare Colt away. "Yeah. I mean
I had to add a bit more to it for the sake of the song, but it was last night that got me thinking and the
words starting to flow. I have ideas for a couple more, too."
He watched as Colt read over the words. For the most part, Kyle hated writing love songs. They
always seemed fake to him, but suddenly the words just flowed from him. He figured if he worked all day
that he could have three or four songs written.
He turned his hand over on Colt's knee and linked their fingers. "The guys are always pushing me to
write more love songs, and I try, I really do, but the words just aren't there. They'll be excited when they
get these and can start working on music."
Colt turned his head, meeting Kyle's gaze. "You feel this way about me?"
Kyle swallowed, unsure how much to admit. "I know it's crazy, and some of it might be because it
was my first time. I really have nothing to compare it to, but hell, Colt, I'm not going to lie. I'm feeling an
awful lot after last night. More than I expected to."
Kyle held his breath, waiting for Colt's reaction. He prayed that Colt understood and wasn't going to
pull away. Being a couple might not be possible, but Kyle wasn't going to deny what he felt, or lie to Colt
about it just because it might make him uncomfortable. That wasn't the way Kyle did things.
Other than lying about being gay. That you lie about just fine. A small voice in the back of his head
reminded him.
Colt blinked a couple times then smiled. "I hope it's not just because it was your first time." He lifted
their joined hands up and kissed Kyle's knuckles. "Maybe we should try again tonight and see if you still
feel this way after two."
Kyle laughed. "I don't think anything is going to change."
"Everyone else still asleep?"
Carl's voice calling out as he walked into the kitchen had Kyle pulling his hand free from Colt's and
moving farther away so they no longer touched. He didn't miss the frown that spread over Colt's face.
Guilt swept through him, but he couldn't risk anyone else finding out. Carl might know, but he knew Carl
would keep his secret. The others, well he would tell them in time. Just not right now.
"Must be. We haven't seen them down here yet." Kyle glanced up, meeting Carl's stare. "We will all
need to get back on schedule once we leave here. This unexpected vacation is spoiling us all."
Kyle glanced at Colt, seeing he had gone back to reading the song in the notebook. He reached for
his coffee, taking a sip as he watched Carl fill his cup. Carl frowned at him, and Kyle knew there was
another speech waiting for him once Carl caught him alone.
"Let them enjoy it. We are going to have to work hard to make up the missed gigs. You will need to
call California tomorrow if we don't make it out. There is no way we will make that show without an
early start." Carl took a seat at the table. "How long after the storm ends before the roads open, Colt?"
Colt looked back at Carl. "Not long. Truckers are stranded and will be restless to get going. If the
weather allows, and according to the weather it should, I don't see any reason you can't be out of here
tomorrow."
Kyle frowned at the reality that he was going to have to leave Colt. He knew from the start that it
would happen, but hearing it, talking about it, made something inside Kyle ache and he unconsciously
rubbed his hand over his chest at the pain.
"Storm looks worse, not better," Carl said.
"Supposed to end this evening. Once it clears, the plows will be out and you can get out. I'll have to
plow you a path out of the yard though."
Kyle held back a smile as he hoped Colt's plow would break somehow between now and then.
Colt pushed the notebook back at him. "Those look great. Maybe later you will let me hear you sing
them?"
Kyle looked down at the open page, reading the words silently and then glanced back up at Colt.
"Sure, I could do that."
"Good. Think you've got some great ideas down there." Colt pushed back his chair and stood. "I've
got to finish the work I put off yesterday. I'll be in my office if anyone needs me." He stared at Kyle
several seconds before heading out of the kitchen.
Kyle sighed and closed the notebook, turning toward Carl.
"How's that hicky?" He grinned, laughing softly.
"That was a mean trick."
"Teach you to go lying to me about things."
Kyle frowned. "I wasn't really lying. I just…"
"Don't just me, Kyle. I know all too well what you were doing, and I'm going to tell you once again,
if you don't stop this denial and hiding who you are, you're going to lose something good." Carl gave him
a hard stare.
"If you mean Colt, I've pretty much lost him already. We both know once we hit the road tomorrow I
probably won't ever see him again."
"If you really wanted to, you would find a way. You're not the first person to have to figure out a
long-distance relationship."
"I don't even know if he wants one. For all I know he is enjoying a night or two of fun and will be
glad to see me go."
"I saw the way you two were when I walked in. My advice to you is not to assume anything and talk
to him tonight, tell him what you want. Find out for sure what his feelings are." Carl took a drink of
coffee. "You've been alone too long, Kyle. It's time you find someone to care about and face who you
are."
Kyle looked away, refusing to have this conversation again, especially here, where anyone could
walk in at any time. Gathering his notebook and coffee, he glanced back over at Carl. "I'm going to go
work on a couple songs while I have the down time. I will see you later."
"Someday you're going to wish you listened to me, Kyle."
As Kyle left the room, he let out a heavy sigh. It wasn't that he didn't listen to Carl, it was that he
listened to his own thoughts even more.
*****
Colt stared at the books in front of him, but his mind wasn't on the numbers. It was on Kyle and the
words he had read in the notebook earlier in the day. The words of love and devotion that Kyle claimed
he inspired, gave Colt hope that there could be something more between them.
The question that plagued Colt was how. The two of them had separate lives. Colt wanted more than
a couple phone calls here and there, and while Colt could fly out and see Kyle on the road from time to
time, would it be enough to make a relationship work?
He cursed as he wondered why he was even thinking about this. The two had only known each other
a couple days, spent one night together, surely, it was crazy to try and start a relationship off that. The two
of them hardly knew each other.
Running his fingers through his hair, he tossed the pen down on the desk and leaned back, knowing
better than to think they could make this work based on the short time they had together.
He would do best to just let these thoughts go and send Kyle on his way tomorrow and forget him.
Trouble was, Colt wasn't so sure he could forget, or that he even wanted to try. He liked Kyle, and if they
had met under different circumstances, and lived close to each other, Colt would give a relationship a fair
shot, even if they had only known each other a couple days.
"Colt?"
He looked up to see Kyle standing in the doorway of his office. "Come in. Shut the door if you
want."
Kyle stepped in and softly closed the door behind him. "Sorry to bother you, I just…" He set his
notebook on the coffee table and moved toward the desk. "I just wanted to see you, honestly. Can't say I
have any other reason for bothering you."
Colt smiled as he stood and came around the desk, pulling Kyle to him and kissing him softly. "I
can't think of a better reason to be interrupted. I was just thinking about you."
Kyle blushed. "I'm sorry about earlier. I shouldn't have pulled away like that. It's not like Carl doesn't
know about us."
Colt shrugged. "I know you're still uncomfortable." He wished it didn't bother him the way it did, but
he wanted to be able to hold Kyle in front of the others.
"Yeah, but it's not fair to you. You deserve better."
Letting the comment go, he took Kyle's hand and pulled him over to the couch. "Carl give you a hard
time about being with me all night?"
"Not too bad, but I did get another speech about coming out and telling everyone." Kyle sat down
beside him.
"You know I agree, but I won't hound you on it. You have enough to worry about right now." If Carl
couldn't talk Kyle into admitting openly who he was, he didn't have a chance in hell of convincing him to
do it. "How are the songs coming?"
"I have three done. The words just keep pouring out. One song after the other. I start thinking about
things and…" He sighed, shaking his head.
"What's wrong?" Colt caressed his thumb over Kyle's palm.
Kyle took a deep breath. "Is it horrible that I don't want to leave here tomorrow?"
"Leave here or leave me?" Colt asked, needing to hear Kyle say the words.
"Leave you." Kyle looked up at him. "It's crazy, I just met you. I don't know if it's because you were
my first or if there is something more there between us. Hell, I probably shouldn't even be talking to you
about this. You must think I'm crazy, right? I mean this was just supposed to be a one-time thing."
Colt was glad he wasn't the only one feeling this way. He did have one advantage; he had experience
on his side and knew that what he was feeling toward Kyle wasn't anything to do with first times. "Does it
help if I tell you I don't want you to leave either?"
Kyle's eyes brightened. "You don't?"
Colt shook his head. "I have a few men around here I see from time to time. I never have trouble
leaving them when we are done. You walked in that door the other night and everything was different. I
can't tell you why or what it is, but I feel it, too, and it wasn't my first time."
Kyle smiled, the relief obvious on his face. "It helps to know I'm not crazy, and you feel it, too, but it
doesn't change things. Does it? I still need to leave. I can't let my band down. I have too many people
counting on me."
"Yeah, I don't see how you could stay, but that doesn't mean that we can't see each other again,
somehow."
"I'm on tour for the next few months. I won't be able to get away."
"Then I will have to come see you. That is if you want me to."
"Really? You would come to me?"
Colt laughed. "Is that so hard to believe? I want to see what this is between us, Kyle. I don't know
how well this will work, but I'm willing to at least try."
"I felt like such a fool wanting more. I figured you would be glad to be rid of us, and what we did
was just sex to you." Kyle stood and paced in front of the desk. "I wasn't going to come in here, but then I
figured I had to try, see if you felt anything too. If I made a fool of myself I would be gone tomorrow and
we could just forget."
Colt stood and stepped in front of Kyle, stopping him from pacing as he placed a hand on his
shoulder. "You're not a fool. I'm glad you came in here instead of thinking about it all day. I was doing
the same thing. I was trying to figure out a way we could make a relationship work with us being so far
apart all the time."
Colt felt Kyle sag with relief. The same relief flowed through him. They would try to make this work
somehow. If nothing else, he took comfort in knowing he would see Kyle again.
*****
Kyle hooked his fingers into Colt's belt loops and pulled him near. He needed to feel Colt close.
They had less than a day left together, and he wanted to spend as much of it as he could with Colt. He
would have to be careful. The others lingered around the house and could come walking in any moment,
but it was a risk he was willing to take.
He pressed his lips to Colt's neck and licked a trail up his jaw, savoring the unique taste of his skin.
Colt let out a soft moan as he turned his head and caught Kyle's tongue between his teeth and sucked it
into his mouth. Their bodies swayed closer as the kiss grew harder. Kyle wanted to mark each touch, and
taste of Colt to memory so he could recall them when they were apart.
As their hardening cocks pressed against each other through their pants, Kyle groaned and reached
between them, working Colt's belt loose, and then the button on his jeans. He was like an addict searching
for a fix. So many years of celibacy and suddenly he couldn't get enough.
Colt broke the kiss and looked down at Kyle's hands as they worked his cock from his pants. The
sound he made as Kyle pulled his cock free, caused Kyle's own cock to twitch against the confines of his
own zipper.
Glancing up at Colt, Kyle kissed him softly once more before dropping to his knees. His fist wrapped
around Colt's length and stroked up from base to head before closing his mouth around the head and
sucking.
"Kyle…" Colt's voice cracked as he reached down and pulled Kyle's long hair into a ponytail and
held it in his fist.
Kyle moaned around Colt's cock as he lowered his mouth down the shaft. He moved his hands lower
to roll Colt's balls over his fingers as he took him deeper into his throat. His flattened tongue glided over
the ridged hardness as Colt started to thrust back and forth into his mouth.
Kyle relaxed his throat, wanting to take as much of Colt as he could. It was all new to him and he
loved watching the look of pleasure on Colt's face with each thrust. Colt's grip grew stronger in his hair as
he used the ponytail to pull and guide Kyle's head.
Kyle tightened his grip on his balls, squeezing them in his palm and felt Colt's cock jerk in his
mouth. Using his free hand, he pulled Colt's pants down lower and then slid his hand back and parted
Colt's ass. His eyes locked with Colt's as he slid his finger over his ass and slowly pressed inside.
Colt's cock hardened and swelled in his mouth, and a small gasp of pleasure escaped him. Kyle
wished they were in the bedroom so he could press his tongue against Colt's ass and tease him the way
Colt had him. Kyle had fingered his own ass before, but feeling Colt's ass press around his finger, the
muscles pull him deeper inside, and the warmth surround him was unlike anything he had ever known.
He imagined what it would feel like to have his cock slide inside and shivered. Releasing Colt's
balls, he continued to suck and lick his cock as he lowered his hand and worked his own pants loose. His
cock fell free and he started stroking it as he swallowed the pre-cum seeping from Colt's cock.
"Kyle, I'm going to come."
Kyle knew it was a warning so he could move if he didn't want Colt to come in his mouth, but that
was exactly what Kyle wanted. He hungered for the salty taste of Colt's release on his tongue. He wanted
to feel Colt's cock pulse as he shot off down his throat.
Raising his gaze back up to Colt, he increased his rhythm around Colt's cock, letting him know it
was okay and he wanted everything Colt could give him.
Colt's fingers pulled painfully at his hair as his thrusts became stronger and unsteady. Kyle knew
what was about to happen and his mouth watered around Colt's cock, wanting to taste him for the first
time.
Colt let out a gasp, and then a grunt as he clawed at Kyle's head when his cock exploded, pulsing and
jerking over Kyle's tongue as hot cum shot into his mouth. Kyle swallowed fast as stream after stream of
cum coated his tongue.
Colt's tense body relaxed as Kyle slid his mouth from his cock, licking up the sides as he did to clean
it off. Kyle glanced up still holding his cock in his hand as he slowly eased his finger from Colt's ass.
"You're going to kill me." Colt reached down and pulled Kyle up to meet his mouth, and at the same
time take Kyle's cock into his hand and stroke him.
Kyle pulled back nervously. "I want to fuck you. I need to feel you around me."
He prayed Colt wouldn't deny him. He wanted to know what it was like to have the heat that had
surrounded and pressed against his finger around his cock.
Colt's response was to toe off his boots and kick off his pants. Kyle stared at Colt, naked from the
waist down and his cock jerked in excitement.
"Take what you need, Kyle." Colt turned, bracing his hands on the desk, spreading his legs and
offered his ass to Kyle by pressing it back toward him.
Kyle's heart pounded as he stepped forward and palmed the rounded globes of Colt's ass. "Fuck if
that isn't the hottest thing I've ever seen." Kyle lowered back down to his knees, spread Colt's ass with his
hands and pressed his mouth against the puckered hole.
"Shit." Colt groaned at the first swipe of Kyle's tongue.
Kyle smiled against his ass as he pushed his tongue forward, licking and flicking it over the small
hole. He fisted his own cock, careful not to stimulate himself too much. Colt's ass parted as Kyle pushed
his tongue forward and Kyle had to fight back his arousal as he started to fuck Colt with his tongue.
He was quickly losing control, and knew if he didn't work fast, his cock would take control and he
would be shooting off in his hand and not in that warm ass he wanted inside of.
"Condom in my wallet." Colt glanced back over his shoulder.
Kyle reached over for Colt's pants, his need for Colt stronger than the discomfort of rummaging
through Colt's wallet. He found the condom right in front and quickly tossed the wallet onto the desk
before tearing open the wrapper and rolling the latex over his cock and standing.
Kyle bent forward, licking up Colt's spine as he pressed his body forward. Colt's pressed back and
Kyle shivered at the feel of his cock pressing against Colt's ass. Kyle bit gently at Colt's shoulder before
grasping one of Colt's hips in his hand as he used the other to guide his cock between Colt's ass cheeks.
His balls tightened at just the feel of the tip of his cock pressing against the hole, and he struggled to
control his breath as he pressed forward. Colt groaned as he parted when Kyle's cock started to slide
inside.
"You okay?" The last thing Kyle wanted was to hurt him.
"God yes. Don't stop." Colt pushed back against him, easing him in deeper.
Warm heat surrounded Kyle and the tightness that sucked his cock forward surprised him. Placing
both hands on Colt's hips, he stilled, as he grew used to the feel of being inside Colt. Part of him wanted
to surge forward and take him hard, but the other half wanted to savor this experience and make it last.
"I don't want to move." Kyle leaned in and kissed Colt's back. His hands moved up Colt's body
wrapping around him and holding them together chest to back.
"If you don't, I will. You feel too good inside me to just sit there." Colt tightened his muscles,
clamping down around Kyle. "You can have me again tonight." He shifted his hips so Kyle's cock slid out
just a bit.
"Shit." Kyle groaned and straightened, placing his hands on Colt's hips and started to move. He
glanced down watching his cock disappear between the rounded cheeks as he increased his speed, drawn
in by the feel of Colt's body around him.
Colt rocked back against him, meeting his thrusts. It didn't take long for the sound of skin slapping
against skin to fill the room. The two of them worked against each other as Kyle struggled to maintain
control and not come too fast.
It was a pointless struggle, he had been without too long, and this being the first time he had ever
taken a lover only made his cock grow harder and his orgasm build faster. Sweat beaded over his brow.
He shook the long hair back from his face as his hips moved forward, and his balls grew tighter. His spine
tingled, his cock jerked, and suddenly his world exploded around him. He continued to thrust into Colt as
he rode out the waves of his release, his cock shooting cum harder than he could ever remember.
As the contractions slowed, he fell forward against Colt's back. His chest heaved for air and his heart
pounded hard. "I can't move," he moaned against Colt's shoulder.
Colt moved his hips forward and Kyle fell from him. "Let me hold you." Colt tried to turn in Kyle's
arms.
Kyle pulled back allowing Colt to turn. Their mouths met for a long kiss as Colt's arms wrapped
around him. Kyle didn't want the moment to end. In his post orgasmic bliss, he tried not to think about
what tomorrow would bring and just enjoy the here and now.
"Thank you," Kyle whispered against his lips.
"For what?" Colt pulled back, brushing Kyle's hair from his face.
"Everything. You have given me so much. I didn't realize how much I was missing." He grinned.
"But I'm glad that I waited for you, glad you were my first."
Colt met his gaze. "I'm glad I was, too. I've never been so grateful for a snowstorm in my life."
Kyle laughed as he pulled the condom from his cock, turning to throw it in the trashcan beside the
desk. "Me either. Every time it snows I will think of you."
"Mmm, even better would be to have you with me through every storm." Colt pulled Kyle back to
him. "Want to sneak upstairs and shower with me?" He trailed several kisses over Kyle's shoulder.
Hell yes Kyle wanted to, but he couldn't risk it. He already risked too much by doing what they just
did. He needed to be careful if he was going to keep his secret from the others.
"I better not. Someone might see me sneak in there with you."
Colt frowned and pulled back. He reached down for his pants and started to pull them on. "You
sure?"
Kyle felt the mood change and cursed silently that his fear had ruined what they shared. "I'm sorry. I
know I need to tell them. It's just hard. I don't know how they will react and the band…" He sighed. "I
will tell them soon, okay?"
"I already told you, I won't push you into coming out, Kyle. I want us to be able to be together in
public, not just behind closed doors. How are you going to explain to them when I come see you on the
road? You don't think that they will become suspicious and wonder why I'm flying out to see you? They
are your friends, Kyle. They should be happy for you."
Kyle pulled his own pants over his legs. "I know they should be, but it's not just them. What about
the fans? This could break my career."
"Hasn't hurt Elton John or several others has it?" Colt raised a brow.
"You just don't get it. It's different out there on the road."
"Listen, there is no point in arguing about this. I still want to see you. I just wish it could be out in
the open. You will come out when you're ready." Colt shoved his wallet back into his back pocket.
Kyle hadn't thought about how to explain Colt's visits. That would be something he would have to
think about. There had to be some excuse they could make up for the visits.
"I'm sorry. I know it sucks." Kyle moved back to Colt, reaching for him. "I will work this out, I
promise."
Colt sighed and moved into Kyle's arms. "I know you will. Neither of us expected this to happen, we
just have to find a way to make it work now that it has." He rubbed his thumb over Kyle's jaw. "If we
both really want this to work, it will."
Kyle let out a long breath and rested his forehead against Colt's. "I know. I do want it to work."
"Then we will make it work." He hugged Kyle tight. "Go upstairs and shower. I am going to go feed
the horses before I take mine." He pulled back. "Maybe if we are lucky the storm is lingering."
Kyle hoped it would, but knew his luck didn't run that way. "We still on for tonight?"
"I hope so. I plan on taking full advantage of our last night together." Colt brushed his mouth over
Kyle's. "No sleeping tonight. You can sleep on the bus."
Kyle grinned. "Sounds like a plan to me."
Colt pushed his plate back and patted his stomach. "You guys are more than welcome here anytime
if you cook like that."
"We don't get the chance to have a home cooked meal often, so having a chance to use your kitchen
is a luxury for us." Tim reached for another fresh baked roll.
"Well you're welcome to use mine whenever you wish." Colt glanced at Kyle, hoping that he would
catch the hint and come back often to visit, even with the band.
Kyle smiled but quickly turned back to the ribs that were on his plate.
"So looks like the weather finally lifted," Carl said.
"Yeah I was watching the weather on TV earlier. It's supposed to be clear the rest of the week." Luis
took his plate to the sink.
Colt wasn't happy about it at all. It could snow for a month straight if he had his way. He stole
another glance at Kyle, wondering how he had let him get under his skin so fast. "You will still have to
deal with some wind and drifting along the way. If you have a C.B., keep it on and listen to what the
truckers are saying along the way. They are your best source of information."
Carl started clearing dishes from the table. "Be ready to leave by nine, boys. We can still make the
next gig if the roads are clear."
"Won't give us too much time to set up," Matt said.
"Want to leave earlier?" Carl glanced back at them from the sink.
Colt wanted to scream no. He wanted every single minute he could get with Kyle. He didn't plan on
sleeping a bit once he got him in his bed tonight. He didn't care if they had sex or talked, but he wanted
every minute to count.
"I think nine gives us enough time." Kyle glanced at Colt. "Besides, it will give some of the truckers
a chance to get on the way so we aren't stuck behind a ton of them."
Colt wanted to kiss Kyle for his fast thinking. He smiled across the table at him. "True, there will be
a mad rush once the gates are opened."
"Probably best to wait then. We will get in late tomorrow night. That will give us all day to set up
and meet with the promoters." Carl wiped his hands off. "I think that means that I need to head off to bed.
Will be a long day driving."
Colt took a sip of his coffee, wondering how long he would have to wait for the others to go to sleep,
and for Kyle and him to get some time alone.
As everyone said goodnight to Carl, Colt watched the guys laughing and joking around. He had to
admit he enjoyed having them here. It broke up the silence of the house. He would miss the noise and
laughter when they left.
He couldn't wait until he could get the horses out and take Briff for a long ride. He needed to get out
in the fresh air and clear his head. The ranch would be his escape and keep him from wondering all day
what Kyle was up to.
"Matt told me you worked out a couple other songs today, Kyle." Luis's voice pulled Colt from his
thoughts.
"Yeah, three of them. Just sorta came to me today. All slow love songs. Think you guys might like
them." Kyle glanced at Colt. "I showed Colt one earlier, he seemed to like it."
"Would like to hear you sing it," Colt told him.
"So would I." Matt closed the dishwasher and sat back down.
"Guess I could run up and get my notebook before Carl falls asleep." Kyle stood. "Be right back."
Colt stood to refill his coffee.
"Wonder what got into him. He hates writing love songs." Tim wiped down the counter.
"Who knows, but don't complain. We need something good for the next album," Matt said.
Colt leaned against the counter, listening to them. He wondered what their reaction would really be if
they knew what had inspired the new songs. He didn't take any of them to be the kind to freak out if Kyle
came out and told them the truth. He figured after being together as long as they had, they would just be
happy that Kyle had finally found someone.
As he blew over his coffee he wondered what Kyle feared. If it was really the fans and the future of
the band or if it was something more that kept him living a lie.
"Guys, want to stay in here or move to the living room?" Kyle stepped back into the kitchen.
"Let's move. It's more comfortable in there." Luis stood. "Need me to get my guitar?"
"Not unless you want to. Once I get the okay from you guys I will hand these over to you for music.
You can work on them tomorrow on the bus." Kyle glanced at Colt. "You're coming right?"
"Wouldn't miss it." He pushed off from the counter, wishing he could link his hand into Kyle's.
Keeping hold of his coffee, he followed the group into the living room, going to the same chair he'd taken
the night before.
"So what got you writing love songs?" Luis looked over at Kyle. "Thought you hated those."
"I do, but suddenly this morning the words just hit me. I figured I had better get them down before I
forgot them. Maybe this will get you guys off my ass."
"If we weren't stuck in the middle of nowhere, I would think you ran off and fell in love," Tim
teased.
Kyle flipped him off.
Colt saw the perfect opportunity for Kyle to tell them pass right by. Kyle could have jumped right in
there and told the others what was up.
"You know better than that. Kyle's going to die a virgin." Matt winked and then turned to Colt.
"We've been trying to set Kyle up for years now, but no, he wants to wait for the right one."
Colt sat forward. "I can't blame him for that. At least he knows what he wants."
"Crazy if you ask me. Especially when he could have his pick of women. You should see the way
they throw themselves at him." Luis sat down beside the others on the couch.
Kyle stood in the middle of the room, staring at them. "I don't want just anyone." He turned and
looked at Colt. "I'll know the right one when they come along."
Colt smiled. "I'm sure you will."
"Anyway, you guys ready?" Kyle held his notebook in his hands, glancing back and forth at them.
Colt nodded and settled back into his chair. "Anytime you're ready."
*****
Kyle didn't hesitate. He started singing as fast as he could, hoping it would get the attention off his
love life. He turned toward Colt, wanting to indirectly direct the words to him. After all, Colt inspired the
words to flow, who better to sing them to?
He had planned to sing them to Colt alone in the bedroom later, but since the others had brought it
up, there was no way to really get out of it. Besides the sooner he handed the words over to the others, the
sooner they could work on the music.
He focused his attention on the paper and sang the song loud. He needed to keep his mind busy and
away from the fact that they would be leaving tomorrow. He'd had ideas of sabotaging the bus to straight
out quitting the band because he wanted to stay with Colt so bad. He would never really quit, but the fact
that his mind was taking him there was enough to worry him.
All these years single, and in only two days, he was feeling like he was diving head first over a
waterfall, his heart swept away in the rush of current.
He glanced up at Colt and their eyes met for a brief moment. Kyle felt his heart skip and almost
stuttered over the words he sang. Turning his attention back to the song, he forced all thoughts from his
head and focused on the words he had written.
When he finished all three songs, he turned and looked at the band. "Well, what do you think?"
Luis stared at him, mouth half-open. "Where did you come up with that? Those are going to be
bestsellers. The fans will go nuts when they hear those."
Matt stood and slapped Kyle on the back. "We have to get these on the next album. I know we talked
about only having one or two slow songs on this one, but that was before I heard these."
Kyle smiled. He was worried the words would be too sappy. They expressed completely what he was
feeling right now, but with his emotions running high, he thought the songs might be more than the band
wanted. They were a definite change from the heavy rock that they usually did.
He glanced over at Colt and swallowed back the emotion. He wished the two of them were alone so
that he could ask his honest opinion of the songs.
Colt gave him a thumb's up and smiled, but that was it. Kyle worried that maybe that the words were
too much. He poured his soul into his music and didn't even stop to think that he would probably never
have said words like this out loud to Colt, at least not this soon. Yet, here he was putting it in to music
and not thinking anything of it.
He didn't have time worry about it. The other band members were tossing out ideas faster than he
could keep up.
"I think we should use just guitar on that first one," Matt said.
"And maybe a little piano on that last one. I know we will have to hire someone to play but it might
be worth it." Luis grabbed the notebook from Kyle's hands and sat down to read the words.
"I don't know about piano. But definitely just acoustic on that first. Damn, Kyle, you really did a
great job on these. We need to get you off that bus more where you can think if this is the stuff you give
us."
Kyle smiled. "I might just have to take a vacation from time to time to clear my head." He looked
over at Colt.
"You're welcome here anytime. All the privacy you could want."
Kyle nodded, but wished that privacy could happen right now. He wanted to be alone with Colt in
the worst way. "Well it's all yours, guys. You can figure it out from there. I have a couple other ideas for
songs but didn't get to get them down today."
"I don't know what got into you, but I like it." Matt laughed. "Whatever it is, it's going to help make
us huge."
Kyle shrugged. "It was just one of those things. Anyway, I think I'm going to turn in. My brain is
shot. See you guys in the morning?"
Luis looked up from the notebook. "Sure thing and thanks. This is great shit. I'll be up all night
thinking over music for it."
Kyle turned to Colt. "Thanks again for everything." He glanced at the stares and raised his brow.
"You're welcome. You know, I think I will follow you up. It's been a long day. I will see you guys in
the morning," Colt called out to the others.
A chorus of goodnights came from the group on the couch.
Kyle hoped no one would follow them up. Just to make sure, he stayed a bit ahead of Colt until he
got to the end of the hall.
Colt watched Kyle's ass as he climbed the stairs, resisting the urge to reach out and cup it as it
pressed against his pants. He felt his cock stir and smiled, thinking about what would happen once they
made it to his room.
Kyle made it to the end of the hall and turned back to Colt. Colt quickened his pace, wanting the
sexy rock star in his arms. Meeting him at his bedroom door, Colt pushed him up against the wall and
kissed him hard while turning the knob on his door and pushing it open at the same time.
Arms wrapped around each other and mouths meshed. Colt kicked the door closed with his boot and
growled softly in Kyle's ear. "I feel like I have waited all day for this."
Kyle laughed as his hands slid under Colt's shirt. "You had me in the office."
Colt pulled back and pulled his shirt over his head, tossing it to the floor before grabbing the hem of
Kyle's shirt and doing the same. "I think you had me in the office."
Kyle kicked off his shoes as Colt's fingers worked the button on his jeans. The two of them couldn't
get naked fast enough as far as Colt was concerned. He wanted them both naked and he wanted inside
Kyle. His cock stood rock hard as he slid his own pants down and stepped out of them.
"You like the songs?" Kyle kicked his pants aside.
"Hell yes. I love knowing that every time you sing those songs you will be thinking of me." Colt
reached out and took Kyle's cock in his hand.
"Like I can get you off my mind," Kyle gasped.
"I'm going to make sure that after tonight you don't forget."
Kyle scraped his fingers under Colt's balls. "And just how are you going to do that?"
Colt released Kyle's cock and grabbed him, pushing him face first up against the wall, pressing
quickly against him from behind. His hand reached around Kyle and took his cock in his hand again as he
nipped at his shoulder. "Like this." He pressed his hardness between Kyle's cheeks, teasing the head
against his hole.
Kyle groaned, turning his head to catch Colt's mouth against his own as he pressed his ass back.
Colt was fighting for control, knowing he should stop, grab a condom and slow things down, but his
body had other ideas. As Kyle pressed back against him, the head of his cock pressed slightly into Kyle as
his ass started to spread around him. He worked his fist over Kyle's cock, feeling the pre-cum leak over
his fingers with each stroke.
His own cock twitched as it pressed into the tightness of Kyle's ass. Giving a gentle thrust forward he
felt it part farther as he slid deeper inside. Kyle was dry and it had to hurt, but Kyle never complained.
Colt forced back any guilt as his arousal surged forward, demanding what it wanted.
Kyle broke the kiss as he gasped at the intrusion, but he didn't pull away. His head fell forward
against the wall as his legs parted wider and he pressed back into Colt allowing him to slide in deep.
"You are so tight." Colt licked at Kyle's shoulder.
Kyle's hands braced against the wall and Colt continued to work over his cock, cupping his palm
over the head before sliding it back down to the base. Having Kyle in this position aroused Colt more
than any other. He loved the feel of pressing hard against Kyle, seeing his body splayed against the wall,
and the feel of his cock surrounded by Kyle's moist heat had him as hard as he could ever remember.
"Fuck me, Colt. Let me feel you." Kyle turned his head to look back over his shoulder.
Colt captured Kyle's mouth once more, kissing him intensely before breaking the kiss, bracing one
hand on Kyle's hip as the other continued to work over his cock and he started to move.
His cock sank deep and retreated until just the head was held by the ring of Kyle's ass and then he
slammed in deep again. Colt was probably being rougher than he should, but he couldn't help himself. His
hips found a fast-paced rhythm as he pushed Kyle harder into the wall with each thrust.
Kyle grunted with each thrust, but Colt could tell by the way that Kyle's cock pulsed, the grunts were
not from pain but arousal. He worked his fist faster over Kyle's thick length as his fingers dug into the
singer's hip, pulling and pushing him over his own cock.
Sweat formed on his brow as he threw his head back savoring the feel of his lover's ass pulling him
in. He closed his eyes, lost in the feel and sounds of their pairing. He couldn't stop, his body pushing him
on, his hips thrusting harder as they worked their bodies together.
Kyle's body shook under his palm. "You going to come for me?" Colt bit at his earlobe.
"Soon, can't help… Too close." Kyle voice came out in struggled gasps.
"Don't try and hold back," Colt grunted. "I want to feel that sexy ass clamp down around my cock."
Kyle groaned and his cock pulsed in Colt's hand. Colt slid his thumb over the head with each stroke.
It only took seconds before Kyle's body tightened and he let out a cry as his ass tightened and hot cum
shot from his cock and coated Colt's fingers.
Colt fought for control as Kyle's ass worked his cock, squeezing tight around it. He tried to keep his
hand moving over Kyle's, but his own pending orgasm was growing and it was all he could do to keep a
steady rhythm as he thrust into Kyle's ass.
"Fuck." Kyle's body shook as the last of his release spurted out.
"That's it. I could watch you come for hours. So damn sexy." Colt's hips continued their forward and
back motion as he released Kyle's cock and braced both hands on his hips to draw Kyle back onto him
with more aggression.
Kyle's chest heaved as he braced his hands against the wall and spread his legs a bit more.
Colt stared down between them, watching his cock slide between the two rounded orbs of Kyle's ass.
The heat surrounded him and he closed his eyes, lost in the feel of Kyle.
His balls tingled, his cock pulsed, and his grip on Kyle tightened as he felt his orgasm rush up on
him. "Going to come. Fill you full of…" He couldn't finish as his cock exploded and his release shot
through him, filling Kyle's ass. His body shook and his head fell forward against Kyle's back as he stilled.
Sweat dripped from his brow, rolling down Kyle's spine, but Colt was too lost in his post orgasmic
bliss to care. His cock continued to throb as Kyle shifted slightly, increasing his sensitivity.
"Don't move." Colt gasped with a shaky voice.
Kyle laughed as he tightened his ass. "You mean don't do this?"
"Ugh… Yes." Colt bit at Kyle's shoulder.
"You can't stay in there all night."
"Watch me." Colt reached his arm up and wrapped it around Kyle's chest. "I might just stay here
until morning."
Kyle groaned. "Don't mention morning. I don't wanna leave." He turned his head to look over his
shoulder at Colt.
Colt caught Kyle's lips with his own. He felt the same way. He enjoyed having Kyle here, and it
wasn't just the sex. He was almost scared to think about the feelings that suddenly swarmed him. Kyle
had somehow gotten to Colt in a way few others ever had.
He knew he had to keep his emotions in check. The chance that a relationship could ever work
between them was slim. They wouldn't have enough time together. Traveling to see each other would be
hard, especially if Kyle didn't face up to who he was and admit he was gay.
Colt broke the kiss, pulling back and easing his spent cock from Kyle's ass. He turned his lover in his
arms and pressed him back up against the wall. "I don't want you to go either."
Kyle dropped his forehead against Colt's. "No chance you want to sing backup for me?"
Colt stepped back and laughed. "You haven't even heard me sing. I promise it would be the end of
your career if you had me on stage with you."
Kyle grinned as he stepped around Colt and moved toward the bed. "Can't be that bad."
Colt ran his hand through his thick brown hair as he moved to sit beside Kyle on the bed. "Let's just
say I'm not allowed to do Karaoke at the bar in town."
Kyle stretched out on the bed and reached his hand to Colt. "Maybe someday you'll let me hear."
Colt moved up beside Kyle and rested his arm over his hip as he kissed him softly before pulling
back. "I think it's best if we leave the singing to you."
*****
Kyle stared at Colt, wondering how he was going to get on the bus and leave the next morning. He
tried to force the thoughts from his head but they weighed heavy on him. It was as if he was watching the
clock, counting down every minute they still had together in his mind.
"Why do you look so sad suddenly?" Colt reached up and traced a finger down Kyle's jaw.
Kyle took a deep breath, shaking his head, not sure he should get into this discussion with Colt so
soon. "Just thinking about being back on the road."
Colt smiled. "And all those women throwing themselves at you?" Colt pulled Kyle closer to him and
nuzzled his neck, scraping his day's growth of stubble over his skin. "Good thing I'm not a jealous man."
"Of the women? You have nothing to worry about there. Hell, you have nothing to worry about with
men either." Kyle wondered if Colt wanted an exclusive relationship, but he didn't dare ask.
He figured it would be too much to ask Colt to be faithful. Too soon. Not knowing how often they
would be able to see each other he wouldn't blame Colt for keeping other lovers who were closer. He just
prayed that Colt wouldn't tell him about any of them.
"I'm not worried. Besides, it won't be that long before we see each other again." Colt pushed Kyle to
his back and slid his leg over him until he was straddling him.
Kyle groaned as their cocks brushed against each other. "You're killing me." He reached up and
twisted gently at Colt's nipples.
He loved the way Colt moved his hips, teasing him more.
"Would you rather sleep our last night together?" Colt bent forward, holding his mouth inches from
Kyle's.
"Hell no." He closed the distance between them as he wrapped his arms around Colt.
"Good." Colt opened his mouth to him, kissing him thoroughly.
Kyle pushed back all the questions and insecurities, and let himself get lost in the feel of Colton's
body. He rocked his hips up as he caressed down his back and gave himself completely to the sensation of
another man holding him.
He closed his eyes as he memorized each curve and dip of Colt's body, knowing it would be all he
would have to get him through the next few weeks on tour. He savored the taste of Colt's mouth, licking
and sucking on his tongue as if he were starving for what only Colt could give him.
"Do you want me?" Colt asked as he pulled back.
Kyle opened his eyes to find Colt working his fist over his own cock as he stared down at him. He
licked his lips as he watched the head of Colt's cock disappear in his fist then reappear a moment later. He
nodded his head, his voice a small whisper. "Yes."
"Are you as hard as I am?" Colt moved his free hand to Kyle's growing arousal and stroked him.
"Mmm, yes."
"You think I could be soft watching you do that." Kyle nodded to Colt's fist. "With you naked on top
of me?" He shook his head. "Never happen. You turn me on too much for that."
"Good." Colt lifted up and moved forward several inches and then pressed Kyle's cock up against
the crack of his ass.
"Shit." Kyle reached out and braced his hands on Colt's hips. He thought Colt was going to take him
again. He glanced up at Colt as he tried to keep from thrusting his hips up and sliding deep inside him.
"You sure?"
"If you'd rather not." Colt laughed, lifting up away from him.
Kyle's hips lifted as if magnetically attracted to the puckered hole. "No, I want…" He felt his cock
slide once again between Colt's cheeks and sighed contently.
Colt pressed down and Kyle felt him part as his cock slowly pressed forward into him. He had spent
most his life fantasizing about what it would feel like to be with another man in different positions, and
all in one day he was finding out. Colt's weight pressed down on him and he felt himself sink deeper and
the warmth encase him. His fingers dug into Colt's hips as he locked his gaze with him.
Colt's hand settled back around his own cock as Kyle started to move. The extra pressure of Colt's
weight over him only added to the pressure that was already growing in his balls. He wanted to make this
last and enjoy the feel of Colt's body surrounding him, but with the way Colt tightened his ass around
him, he would be lucky to last five minutes.
"What's that look." Colt bent forward and brushed his mouth over Kyle's.
"Just memorizing how you feel."
Colt grinned. "Going to think about me in the shower while we're apart."
"I'm going to think about you a lot more than in the shower." Kyle continued to work his hips in a
slow rhythmic manner. "But in the shower I might just remember things like this a bit more."
Colt moved his hands to press down against Kyle's chest. "We might just have to hit the shower after
this so you can show me exactly what you will do."
The thought of masturbating in front of Colt had Kyle's cock jerking. He was sure that Colt could
feel the response. As Colt pressed against his chest and started to ride his cock, Kyle closed his eyes and
tried to picture the two of them jerking off together. He didn't think that he would be able to do it, not
with Colt close. He would have to touch him.
"Look at me."
His eyes flew open at the sound of Colt's deep voice and he locked his gaze with his.
"Give me your hands." Colt lifted his hands from Kyle's chest and held them out.
Kyle released Colt's hips and linked his fingers with his. As soon as the connection was made, Colt
used Kyle's hands to brace himself as he started to move his ass up and down over Kyle's sensitive cock.
Kyle pressed his head back into the pillow, braced his heels into the bed, and started thrusting up
faster to meet Colt's ass. All conversation left them as the two started to work their bodies against each
other as the passion between them increased.
Kyle had heard from the other guys in the band that sometimes it wasn't easy to get hard right after
coming. He always expected that he and a lover would only get to do it once or twice a day if that. But
with Colt, it was all different than what others said. The man had him so aroused that he was hard with
just a touch. His cock was pleasantly sore and he knew by morning it would be even more so.
Releasing one of his hands, Kyle reached down and took Colt's cock in his fist and started to work it.
Colt groaned but he didn't miss a beat as he continued to ride. Kyle swept his fist up and down, spreading
the pre-cum over Colt's cock with each stroke. He ran his thumb under the head and then back until his
fist met Colt's balls.
Bringing Colt pleasure was more important than his own. He wanted to please Colt and worried that
his inexperience would leave Colt unsatisfied. He had nothing to compare things with, and worried he
was lacking when it came to pleasing Colt.
Continuing to stroke Colt's cock, he focused on the tightness around his own cock, and the feel of
Colt sliding up and down the long shaft. He watched as Colt worked his body over him. Their eyes locked
together as they both neared another orgasm.
Kyle felt his balls tightened, and as the pressure grew, his thrusts became quicker. Colt smiled as if
he knew what was about to happen and took control of their movements, pressing his hands back to
Kyle's chest and moving his ass over him.
Kyle let him have control because he was about to lose it. He gasped and groaned as he tried to hold
back and prolong the explosion that threatened to burst from his cock.
He thought about how they had forgone condoms and that was all he needed to lose his load. Hot jets
of cum pulsed from him as he continued pumping into Colt, feeling the hot fluid around his cock as he
shuddered with his release.
Colt groaned as his hand fell over Kyle's to work his cock harder. It took only seconds before Colt let
out a gasp and his body stiffened and cum coated their hands and Kyle's stomach.
They stared at each other as they recovered. Kyle blinked, scared that Colt would be able to read his
emotions in his eyes. He feared the emotions he felt inside. He didn't know what was real and what was
because all this was so new to him. He didn't dare say anything, afraid he would make a fool of himself.
Closing his eyes, he relaxed back into the pillow as his hand caressed Colt's thighs.
"Don't." Colt said.
Kyle looked up at him. "Don't what."
"Think about what you're thinking about."
A blush worked up Kyle's neck. "How do you know what I'm thinking?"
"It's written all over your face. The doubt and insecurity." Colt leaned forward, releasing Kyle's cock
from his ass as he rolled to the side.
"I just..." Kyle shook his head, unsure what to say. "Never mind. I can't explain it."
"You're wondering what this is between us? How serious this is?"
Kyle swallowed, his mouth suddenly dry as he sat up. "Yeah, I guess. I don't know. This is all so
new to me." He brushed a hand through his long hair as he pushed it back from his face. He glanced over
at Colt and shrugged.
"Are you talking physical feelings or emotional?" Colt ran his hand down Kyle's back.
Kyle took a deep breath as he tried to think what to say. He didn't want to scare Colt off with what he
was feeling, but he didn't want to lie to him either. "Both."
Colt sat up and moved to sit behind Kyle. He wrapped his arms around his chest and pulled him back
against him as he kissed his back. "I'm feeling it, too." He rested his chin on Kyle's shoulder. "It's
different with you."
Kyle's heart pounded in his chest. "Is it? I keep thinking what I'm feeling is because I have nothing to
compare it to."
"I told you already it was different. I know you're probably more confused by it than I am. I have
stuff to compare it to. Kyle, I wouldn't be offering to fly out and see you if I didn't think we might have a
chance to make something of this."
Kyle sighed. "I'm not sure how we can make this work. Hell, I haven't even left yet and I'm worried
about when I will see you again. If I will see you."
"Want me to book a flight right now?" Colt hugged Kyle tighter to his chest.
Kyle laughed. "No."
"My door is always open for you. You need to get away, even if you only have a day, I will drive to
Cheyenne and pick you up at the airport anytime, and I will fly out to see you as often as I can. If you're
going to be somewhere for a few days, let me know. I will come spend them with you. I know you will be
busy with your concerts, but we will still get some time together."
Kyle brought his knees up resting his head against them, trying to figure out how they would pull
that off without anyone seeing them. Hell, he just needed to tell the band. Let them know what the deal
was, but that thought scared him almost as much as never seeing Colt again did.
"Don't ruin tonight worrying about all this. I promise you, if we both want this to work out, we will
find a way." Colt's breath was warm against his neck as he spoke.
"You're right. I don't want to ruin our last night together." Kyle turned in Colt's arms and pushed the
fears back. He wasn't going to let anything take this last night from him.
Country music filled the room causing Kyle to groan. He swore he had just fallen asleep a few
minutes ago. Forcing his eyes open, he glanced at Colt who was softly snoring beside him.
He was tempted to turn off the alarm and go right back to sleep, but he knew it would mean the band
would be up and looking for him. There was no way he could explain to them why he was crashed out in
Colt's bed.
"Colt. Colt wake up." Kyle rolled over and brushed his lips against Colt's cheek. "I have to go soon."
Colt's eyes opened and blinked a couple times.
"I know. I don't want to either. But if we don't the whole band will be looking for us." Kyle brushed
another kiss over Colt's jaw. "Come shower with me before they are all up."
Colt groaned as he rolled to his back. "Did you look outside? Any chance the storm came back?"
Kyle smiled. "I haven't looked, but I doubt we are that lucky."
Colt reached up and wrapped his arms around Kyle as he pulled him back against his body. Music
still filled the room with a slow country tune. "Band doesn't need a lead singer do they? They can go on
tour without you?"
Kyle buried his face into Colt's chest as he inhaled the scent of the man's skin. "I've thought that a
few times. Think they might complain."
"Let them." Colt lifted Kyle's chin up with his finger and kissed him.
Kyle curled around Colt's body, his legs sliding over Colt's so he rested between his legs. He could
feel Colt's cock growing hard against him and his own responded the same way. They should get up, but
it was the last thing he wanted to do.
Colt broke the kiss, but kept Kyle's face less than an inch from his. "I'm going to miss this. Miss
you."
Kyle nodded, unable to find his voice through the lump that formed in his throat. Swallowing hard he
cleared his throat. "Me, too." He reached up, brushing his palm down Colt's cheek. "Everything is
different since I met you."
Colt brushed his lips over Kyle's. "Come on, let's get that shower. Won't do us any good to go
through this again. I think we said everything we needed to last night." He rolled to his side, taking Kyle
with him.
"You hiring? Maybe I should give up touring," Kyle said, only half joking.
"Mmm, I think I could find ways to keep you busy." Colt's hand slid down between them and
grasped Kyle's cock. "Think you're up to the physical labor I might demand of you?"
Kyle smiled as he moved his hips back and forth so his cock slid through Colt's fist. "I think I could
build up my stamina."
Colt's thumb pressed hard against the tip of Kyle's cock. "If we don't get up, I'm going to take you
right here."
Kyle sighed as he pulled back and slipped out of bed. "Shower?" He held out his hand.
Colt took his hand and stood, pulling Kyle back into his arms the moment his feet hit the ground.
"As long as it's long and hot."
"Hot as we can make it." Kyle turned and pulled Colt with him to the bathroom that connected to the
bedroom.
Colt released his hand and went to turn on the water. Kyle watched as the muscles of Colt's legs
tensed and relaxed with each step. Like his own cock, Colt's was hard and bobbed against his stomach
with each step. Kyle reached down and grasped his own, stroking it several times as he remembered the
feel of being inside Colt.
"Can't even wait for me?" Colt turned staring at him a moment before stepping back to Kyle and
going to his knees in front of him. "You want some help with that?"
Kyle licked his lips and nodded as he offered his cock to Colt.
Colt smiled then opened his mouth and slid his lips around the head. Kyle released his hold on it and
reached behind him to brace his hands on the sink as he watched Colt take him deeper.
Knowing he had to leave in just a couple hours was tearing at his heart. He was ready to quit the
band to stay with this man. That thought alone scared him. Singing was his life, his dream, and here he
was ready to leave it all behind for a man he'd only known a few days.
Maybe the space would be good for them. He hoped it would give him a chance to sort out his
emotions and figure out what the hell he was feeling.
As Colt's tongue slid over the head of his cock, he forced his attention on the here and now. He
would have plenty of time to think once he was on the bus. Right now, he just wanted to enjoy what little
time he had left with Colt.
He watched his cock sink deeper into Colt's mouth and resisted the urge to reach out and grasp Colt's
hair and force himself deeper into his mouth. He loved the way Colt looked with his lips spread around
him. He wondered if Colt would ever let him record them so he could see what he looked like when he
was doing the same to Colt.
The thought of watching them together on video had his cock jerking and Colt looked up with a
raised brow as he slid his hand under his balls and back toward Kyle's ass.
Kyle tensed for a moment as he felt the slight pressure, then forced himself to relax as Colt pressed
forward, sliding his finger into him.
Kyle groaned as he finally moved one hand down to grasp at Colt's hair. Between his mouth and
finger, Colt was pushing Kyle closer to the edge. His knees started to shake as Colt worked his finger in
and out of him as his mouth pulled and sucked on his cock.
"Not going to last." Kyle's grip tightened in Colt's hair.
Colt gazed up at him, a hint of a smile playing over his stretched mouth and worked his finger harder
as his free hand came up to grasp Kyle's balls.
Kyle's head fell back and his eyes closed. He was no longer able to hold still as he slowly started to
work his hips back and forth against the finger and mouth that controlled him.
His balls tightened and so did Colt's grip on them as he felt Colt enclose his fist around the base of
his balls and hold tight. Kyle let out a strangled cry as he felt the pressure in his balls build to an almost
painful ache. He was seconds away from coming.
Opening his eyes, he watched Colt's mouth as his body shook and with one final thrust of finger,
Colt pushed him over the edge and his world exploded. Streams of cum shot from his cock and into Colt's
mouth. Kyle watched Colt's throat as he swallowed hard, taking every bit of his release.
As Colt pulled back, releasing Kyle's cock, Kyle reached down and hooked his hands under his
lover's arms and pulled him up. Kissing him hard, he swept his tongue against Colt's, tasting his own
release from the man's mouth. His cock still twitched between them as Colt turned them and moved them
into the shower without ever breaking the kiss.
The hot water hit Kyle's back a second before he hit the wall. Colt pressed against him as they
caressed and rubbed their hands over each other. Kyle reached down taking Colt's cock into his hand and
gave a gentle squeeze.
Breaking the kiss, he licked at the water that cascaded down his lips. "You going to fuck me one last
time? Give me something to remember?"
Colt's hips pressed forward. "You don't have enough to remember me by?"
"Never enough." Kyle gasped as Colt reached down to cup his ass and pull them closer.
"Then I guess I better make sure you don't forget me." Colt released him as he stepped back, and
then grabbed Kyle by the shoulder, and turned him.
Face pressed to the shower wall, Colt moved up behind him and licked over his shoulder. Colt's cock
pressed against his ass and Kyle pushed back wanting to feel more.
"You want this?" Colt pushed his cock through the crack of Kyle's ass.
"Yes, want you."
"Say it again." The tip of Colt's cock pressed against his hole.
"I want you."
"Louder."
"I want you!" Kyle groaned as he felt himself part as Colt pushed forward.
"This?"
"Yes. Fuck me."
"I plan to." Colt pushed hard and without any warning slid deep.
Kyle cried out as he stretched around him, both pain and pleasure flooding his body.
"Fuck, you're still so tight."
Kyle braced his hands on the wall as Colt's hands fell to his waist and drew him back into him.
Water fell over them but neither seemed to notice or care as they started to work their bodies back and
forth against each other.
He spread his legs wider as he fought to keep from slipping when Colt started to fuck him harder.
There was nothing gentle. His fingers dug into his skin, his cock speared into him in hard, forceful
thrusts, and Colt even used his teeth to bite and nip at Kyle's shoulder as Kyle pressed back into him.
"Know what I'm going to be doing while you're gone?" Colt's hips slapped forward, splashing water
between them.
"What?" Kyle turned his head to the side, trying to see Colt.
"I'm going to lay in bed thinking about you. I'm going to stroke my cock remembering how tight
your ass is around my cock and make myself come."
"Fuck." Kyle closed his eyes at the vision of Colt doing just that.
"You like the thought of me jacking off for you?"
"Yes."
"Good. I want you to lay in bed, hard and aroused every night. I want you so desperate for me by the
time I come see you that we never leave the motel."
Kyle grunted as he dropped a hand to his growing hard-on. He wasn't used to hearing Colt talk this
way but he loved it. He knew it would be his favorite fantasy the next few weeks. The one memory he
clung to as he tried to get through the nights alone.
"I'm going to come. You ready?" Colt's cock slid deep and then retreated.
Kyle nodded and thrust his hips back harder. "Yes. Give it to me."
Colt groaned and slammed forward several more times before his fingers pressed deeper into Kyle's
skin and his body stilled. Soft grunts escaped his mouth as his cock pulsed and he found his release inside
Kyle's body.
Both spent, they stayed together, Kyle pressed into the wall by Colt's weight behind him.
Colt was the first to speak. "I don't want to pull out. If I stay inside you, you can't go."
Kyle smiled as he reached back and rubbed his hand over Colt's hip. "If only it was that simple."
Colt pulled out and turned Kyle in his arms. "We will make this work. I promise I will come see you
soon." He reached up and combed his fingers through Kyle's long hair bringing them together for a long
kiss.
When they pulled back, Kyle sighed. "Who would have ever thought I would dread leaving
Wyoming."
Colt smiled. "I'll make a cowboy out of you yet."
Kyle laughed. "Yeah, don't think that will happen, but I am looking forward to you showing me
around. I want to learn to ride."
"Didn't I teach you that the last few days?"
Kyle smacked Colt playfully. "You know what I mean."
Colt reached for the soap, his expression becoming serious. "We better hurry or they will come
looking for us."
Kyle frowned as Colt started to move the bar of soap down Kyle's chest. He wondered how sturdy
the lock on the bedroom door was and if the others would break it down if he refused to leave.
Reaching for the bottle of shampoo on the ledge next to him, he turned his focus to what he had been
dreading for days. Leaving.
Colt watched the bus pull out of the ranch yard, through the narrow path he had plowed clear.
Reaching up he pulled his hat from his head and ran his free hand through his thick hair.
Watching Kyle board that bus had been one of the hardest things he had ever done. It brought back
memories of watching Richard leave for Afghanistan. He knew all too well how that had turned out.
There was really no comparison, but it was still hard to watch the young singer leave, knowing it
could be awhile before he saw him again.
How the hell he had gone and let anyone get under his skin the way Kyle had was beyond him. After
losing Richard, Colt was content with a one-night-stand here and there. He didn't need or want the stress
of commitments and emotions. But damn it, he was feeling a stirring deep in his chest that he knew would
be nothing but trouble. Somehow, Kyle had worked himself into Colt's heart in just a matter of a few
days.
As the taillight of the bus faded in the distance down the long Wyoming highway, Colt turned for the
barn. He thought about the look Kyle gave him as he had boarded the tour bus. It was all Colt could do
not to run up and take the long-haired male into his arms and kiss him toughly.
He worked the door open to the barn and stepped inside. The horses called to him, but even their
hello didn't do anything to ease Colt's mind. He went about pulling the bale of hay apart as he
remembered the last kiss he and Kyle had shared before leaving the bedroom after their shower.
Colt licked his lips, wishing he hadn't had that cup of coffee and washed away Kyle's taste from his
lips. As he threw the hay into the stalls, he thought about everything the two of them had talked about the
last few days. He didn't doubt for a minute that Kyle was attracted to him. But just like Kyle had said he
worried about, Colt wondered how much of what Kyle felt was because it was all new.
Colt knew the difference in the feelings, but for Kyle, experiencing his first time, his first man, could
he really know what he was feeling.
Colt doubted that Kyle would go out and hit the first club he found and pick up someone else to
compare. He was too worried about staying in the closet for that to happen, but Colt wondered if now that
they were apart if Kyle would realize that what he was feeling wasn't really as deep as he thought and
forget all about him and the days they shared together.
Briff nudged Colt's shoulder as he stood in front of the stall, pulling his attention back to the here and
now.
"Hey bud." Colt reached up and rubbed his hand down the horse's neck. "You up for a ride?"
As if understanding his words, Briff let out a hard sniff and nodded his head up and down once.
"Can't go far. Still too much snow." He worked the latch on the stall open and let the horse step out
beside him. It was cold and the snow would hamper too much of a ride, but he needed the fresh crisp air
to clear his head.
It had been a long time since anyone had stirred emotions like the ones Colt was feeling and he had
no doubt that if he didn't find a way to deal with them, the next few weeks were going to be hell.
*****
Kyle sat in the back of the bus with his ear buds pushed deep into his ears. The music was louder
than it should be, but he didn't want to hear the others talking about the tour or working on songs.
Everyone was glad to be back on the road. Everyone but him. Kyle would have given anything to
spend another week stranded with Colt. Hell, even a month. He didn't think he would ever tire of being
around him.
He watched the guys up front laughing and wished he was brave enough to join them. He wanted
more than anything to confide in them what happened. He knew he could talk to Carl, but it wasn't the
same as talking to his friends.
He glanced at his watch. Only twenty minutes had passed since they pulled out of the ranch, but it
felt like an eternity. Kyle had to get his head on straight. If he kept thinking like this, it would be obvious
to everyone that something was up.
It was pure luck that he hadn't been caught sneaking out of Colt's room to his own. He could deal
with the look that Carl gave him as he slipped back into their shared bedroom. Carl wasn't his worry. It
was the other guys. He would do anything he could to keep the band together, even if it meant keeping his
secrets to himself. He wouldn't risk the band and all their careers.
Luis made his way back toward him. Kyle pulled his buds from his ears and raised a brow.
"You going to hide out back here all day?" Luis slapped Kyle's knee.
"Just tired. I didn't sleep well last night." He wasn't really lying. He hadn't slept much.
"You okay? Getting sick?" Luis sat down across from him.
"Nah. Just tired. Thinking about the tour and trying to get back on track."
"Nervous about the upcoming album?"
Kyle sighed. "Yeah, we need a few more songs on there and I haven't got anything even started."
"You got those ballads you wrote. With those we only need one or two more. Those two are going to
be a hit. Don't stress it. You always come up with something." Luis reached for the notebook beside Kyle.
"You got anything new in here?"
Kyle watched Luis flip through the pages. "Not yet. Have a few ideas, but suddenly all I can think of
are slow songs. We need a couple more fast ones for this album if we're going to put both those ballads
on."
"You got the words? Maybe once I see the words I can figure out a way to up the beat."
Kyle thought about all the words he could put down on paper and wondered how long it would take
the band to catch on that he was writing them about someone.
"I'll write some stuff down today, and you can see what you can come up with. You got any ideas?"
Kyle reached for the bottle of water beside him. "You wrote that last hit we had."
Luis shrugged. "That was just luck. I have a few things, but they aren't like yours. I can get them to
you. Maybe you can fix them up a bit and make something from them."
"Sure. I can give them a go." Kyle yawned.
"Take a nap. I'll gather my shit and get it to you when you wake." Luis stood and then glanced back
down at Kyle. "You sure everything is okay?"
Kyle rubbed his hand over his eyes. "Yeah, it will be. Just need to get back on the road. The break
was nice but it broke routine. I'll be fine."
"Kyle, can you come up here," Carl's loud voice echoed through the bus.
"Ah, saved by the boss man." Luis teased as he walked back to the others.
Kyle stood, taking his bottle of water with him. He hoped it was a problem with the bus and they
might have to turn back, but he knew that wasn't the reason Carl called to him.
As he made his way to the front of the bus, Carl glanced over at him. "Colt was right. Letting the
truckers go first was the best bet. Roads are clear."
Kyle sat down in the passenger seat. "We going to make good time?"
"You in a rush to get somewhere?" Carl glanced at him with a grin.
"Just want to get back on stage. You know I hate having to cancel shows."
"Even if you found some better way to spend your time?"
Kyle knew Carl was talking about Colt. "It's done and over okay. Can't we just let it go?"
"Is it really done and over? That look you gave each other as you got on the bus to leave didn't look
like a final goodbye to me."
Kyle glanced back down the aisle of the bus to make sure no one was in earshot of the conversation.
"We said we would try to meet up. He might fly out and take in a show, but you know how our
schedule is. We keep getting gigs like we have been, who knows when the next time off we might get is."
"You going to tell the others?" Carl nodded back toward the rest of the band.
"Not yet. I can't risk the repercussions. We are just about to get our big break."
"And telling them changes any of that how?"
"Damn it, Carl. We've been through this before."
"And we will go through it again until you wake up and realize they are your friends and it won't
matter. I'd hoped that Colt had changed things. What ya going to do when he comes to visit? Hide out in
the bathroom to have some time alone?"
"I'll tell them by then." Kyle stared out the window at the snow covered fields in front of him. "I just
need time."
"You've had a lifetime, Kyle. It ain't gonna get any easier." Carl reached for a cigarette and lit it
before cracking the window for the smoke to blow out.
"Who knows if Colt will even come. He could have just been saying it to be nice."
"I don't take Colt for a liar, and I don't take the looks you two boys were giving each other lightly.
Either should you. Respect him and yourself enough to realize what it is and own up to it."
Kyle bit his lip as he wondered how many more times they would have this conversation.
"I don't know what you're scared of. Things aren't like they used to be in my day. It's acceptable now
to be out. No one is going to think anything of it." Carl chewed on the end of his smoke.
"Fans might."
"And they matter? If it bothers some of them, then they can go. True fans will stick with you guys
and who knows, you might even bring about a whole new group of fans."
The thought of admitting to the public that he was gay was more than he could swallow. "I think I'm
going to go take a nap."
Carl blew a puff of smoke out, and shook his head. "You keep running like this and you just might
miss out on something good."
"It was just sex. Stop making it more than it was." Kyle stood and turned to leave.
"You let me know when you believe that yourself," Carl called over his shoulder.
Kyle stepped out of the shower and was towel drying his hair when his phone rang. He groaned,
thinking it was one of the band trying to talk him into meeting them down at the bar.
He flipped his phone open without even looking at it. "I told you guys I don't feel like coming
tonight."
"Ah, don't know if I should be glad to hear that or worried who the other guys are." Colt sounded
amused.
Kyle grinned and tossed the towel aside. "The guys are the band. They wanted me to join them at the
bar across the street." He pulled the towel from around his hips and pulled on a pair of sweats. "How are
you?"
"Good. Wanted to make sure you made it okay. I wasn't sure when a good time to call would be."
Kyle sat down on the bed and reached for the remote to click off the TV. "You can call anytime.
Only time I can't answer is if I'm rehearsing or doing a show." It had been three days since he left the
ranch, but it felt like months.
"Everything okay with the promoters?"
"Yeah, everything worked out. We rescheduled the shows we missed. Going to finish out the shows
in California, and then head back up to Seattle."
"Can I come see you there?"
Kyle grinned as relief swept through him. Even though he had no reason other than his own
insecurities, he had doubted Colt's feelings and words that they would see each other again. "Seattle?
Sure. I would love to have you there. It's going to be a couple weeks away. We have several dates here
first we have to get through."
"You sure you want me to come?" Colt asked.
"You sure you want to come?" Kyle frowned as he feared Colt would back out.
"Yes, I want to see you. Been some of the longest few days I can remember."
"Really?" Kyle lay back against the headboard. "I wanted to call but I didn't want to bother you."
Colt laughed. "You serious? What would you interrupt? You saw how quiet it is around here. You
can call me anytime, day or night."
Kyle tried to ignore the way his pulse raced as they talked. "I will remember that. Guess I was just
worried you might have changed your mind."
"Not a chance. It's all I can do not to book a flight to see you at your next show. It's so slow around
here right now all I do is sit and remember how good it was having you here with me."
Kyle hated that he needed the assurance, but he did. "I'm glad. Not that you are alone now, but that
you still want to come."
"How come you didn't want to go out tonight with the others?"
"Sit and watch them pick up on women? Not my thing. Carl went with them for a bit but I expect he
will be back anytime. He's not much of a drinker."
"He giving you a hard time about us?"
"Nah, just once right after we left. Mostly just trying to force me into telling the others about you."
"I won't force you to tell them, but it's going to be damn hard to keep my hands off you when I come
down. Might make it easier if you tell them first."
Kyle closed his eyes. "I know. I'm trying to get there. There's just so much to consider."
Silence hung between them for a few moments before Colt spoke. "Want to give me your schedule
for the next month so I can book a flight?"
Kyle stood, going over to the pocket calendar he kept with him. "Weekdays or weekends better for
you?"
"Either. Come summer it will be harder to get away, but right now it's slow enough the others can
handle things."
Kyle flipped through the pages. He gave Colt a list of locations and dates for the next few weeks.
"Where did you say you would be tomorrow?" Colt laughed.
"I wish it was tomorrow. I know I shouldn't miss you after only knowing you a couple days, but I
do." Kyle slumped back into the bed and set the calendar on his lap.
"I miss you, too. Bed is cold and empty without you beside me at night."
"Here, too."
"Have you been taking those long showers, thinking about me?" Colt's voice deepened
"Oh yeah. A couple a day. How about you?"
"I might have lain in bed at night and thought about what we did together."
"I wish I could watch you do that." Kyle's body stirred at the thought.
"Watch me masturbate? You want to watch me sometime?"
"Can't promise I can keep my hands off you, but yeah, I would like to watch you."
"Where are you right now? You alone?"
"Lying in my bed. I'm alone." Kyle glanced at the door, making sure the latch was locked in case
Carl came back.
"Me, too. Alone in this big bed, thinking about you."
The tone of Colt's voice caused Kyle's cock to jerk to attention. "What do you do in that bed alone,
Colt?"
"I think about how good it felt with you. I remember the feel of your mouth on me. How tight your
ass was around my cock."
He could hear Colt shifting and Kyle wondered if he was undressing. "You like my ass?" He slid his
hand into his sweats and cupped his balls.
"You couldn't tell? I was afraid I was going to hurt you with as often as I took you the last night you
were here. You naked?"
"Close. Just pushed my sweats down my legs."
"How about your hair? Pulled back or hanging over your shoulder?"
Kyle looked down at his hair. "Over my shoulders. It's still wet. I just got out of the shower when
you called."
"Never thought I would like long hair on a man, but I love yours. Love being able to comb my
fingers through it." Colt laughed. "Pull it when I want you close to me."
"You don't need to pull it for me to get close." Kyle pushed his sweats down farther and wrapped his
hand around his cock. "You going to cum with me, Colt?"
"You want me to?"
"Hell yes."
"Well I think I have a bit of a head start on you. I've been stroking my cock since you said hello."
Kyle grinned. "I didn't say hello. I said —"
Colt laughed. "That you didn't feel like coming tonight."
"Yeah but that was before I knew it was you. I'll come with you any night."
"I wish I was there. I can almost see the way your fist is working your cock. I want to lie beside you
as you bring yourself off and have my mouth right there ready to catch it all."
"Don't talk that way or I will be done before we get started." Kyle watched the head of his cock as it
peeked through his fist. "Just the thought of your mouth on my cock makes me want to come."
"Tell me what you're doing."
"Leaning against the headboard of the bed. I have my cock in my fist and I am stroking it slowly.
Pre-cum just started to seep from the head and I'm rubbing my thumb through it with every stroke."
"I wish I was there to lick it off."
"Soon. You will be soon." Kyle closed his eyes. "What are you doing?"
"I'm in bed, lying back into the pillows. My legs are spread and one hand is cupping my balls as the
other strokes my cock. I'm imagining your mouth and tongue against my ass."
Kyle groaned as the he pictured Colt in that position. "I could tongue your ass all night. I love the
way your cock jerks when I slide the tip of my tongue into you."
Colt's breathing was getting louder. "I have so much I want to do with you. We didn't have time.
Want to do so much more with you."
Kyle didn't even dare imagine what that meant or what more he had to learn. It was all still so new to
him. "Tell me what you would be doing right now if I was there."
Colt laughed. "I think I would have you on your knees in front of me. I would have my hands all
over that perfect ass of yours, spreading it open and teasing you with the head of my cock. Once I slid my
cock into your ass, I would reach up and grab a handful of your hair and use it to pull you back against me
as I fucked you hard."
Kyle's head tingled at the thought of Colt pulling his hair. "I want to watch you take me. I want to
see what it looks like when you're in my ass." Kyle's cock pulsed in his fist and his breathing became
ragged. "Can we record it some time? Can I watch you take me?"
"You want to make a video of us?"
"We can delete it after. I just want to see what I look like when you take me. What we look like
together."
Colt grunted. "Fuck you are so hot. We can do that. It will give me something to watch when we're
apart."
"That's not fair. I can't watch it whenever I want."
"You can watch it with me when you're here."
"Not often enough. God, maybe I should quit the band so I can fuck you every day."
"Nice fantasy. Now get back to your cock. I want to hear you come," Colt said.
"You first."
"I'm not far from it. The thought of having a video of us turns me on. We might have to make a few."
"I'll make sure I have a camera when you come visit. You can take me all over the motel room."
"Mmm, would like to have your ass hanging over the bathroom counter as I take you."
Kyle's lifted his hips, fucking his fist faster. "I'm going to come. I can't hold back."
Colt's voice was strained. "Me, too. Come with me, let me hear you. Imagine my face over your
cock, mouth open, ready to suck the head in as you come."
"Oh fuck." Kyle gave his cock several more pumps and then it exploded. He didn't try to hold back
his grunted cry as cum pulsed from his cock and down his hand.
Colt followed close behind with his own gasp of pleasure. "Kyle…"
Both of them lay silent listening to the others heavy breathing for several seconds.
"Taste it for me. Lick it off your fingers," Colt demanded.
"Shouldn't I be lifting my fingers to your mouth?" Kyle lifted his hand to his mouth and sucked his
fingers clean, making sure it was loud enough for Colt to hear.
"If I was there I would lick you clean."
"I miss you." Kyle sighed.
"I miss you, too. I will be there soon. I will call and book a flight tonight."
"Good. It won't be soon enough." Kyle pulled his sweats up and rolled to his side. "Let me know as
soon as you book."
"I will call you in the morning and let you know what I find."
A rattle of the doorknob pulled Kyle's attention to the door. He quickly sat up and moved to unlock
it. "Carl's back." He opened the door.
"Do I need to let you go?"
"No. Not unless you need to." Kyle stepped back as Carl walked in. "Hey, Carl."
Carl grinned, seeing Kyle on the phone. "Tell Colt hello."
"How do you know it's Colt?" Kyle raised a brow as he held the phone to his ear.
"No one else makes you smile like that." Carl tossed his jacket on the other bed.
"Carl says hi." Kyle sat back on his bed.
Colt laughed. "Tell him hi and will see him soon. I think I will let you go. I want to book that flight.
Need to have a date when I get to see you again, not to mention I think I need a shower now."
"Yeah I was just thinking the same thing." Kyle sighed. "Guess I will talk to you tomorrow then. I'm
glad you called."
"Night, Kyle."
"Night, Colt." Kyle hung up the phone and set it on the nightstand. He glanced up to find Carl
watching him. "What?"
"Still say it's nothing between you two?"
Kyle blushed. "Okay, so maybe it's something, but I have no idea what. He is coming to visit.
Probably once we hit Seattle."
"So you're going to tell the others before he gets here?"
Kyle looked down, unsure what to say.
"Kyle, you have to. How are you going to explain him here otherwise?"
"Just a friend," Kyle said lamely.
"Oh yeah, they will believe that. Anyone who takes the time to watch you and Colt together can see
there is something there. You might have been able to hide it at Colt's for a few days, but don't get your
hopes up that will happen when he comes to see you. The band deserves to know. You need to be honest
with them."
Kyle stood. "I'm going to go take a shower."
"Running away yet again." Carl called after him.
"Fuck." Kyle shut the bathroom door, leaning against the counter for several minutes staring at
himself in the mirror. Carl was right. He had to tell them.
Stripping off his sweats, he smiled at the dried mess over his cock and stomach and stepped into the
shower. He wasn't going to worry about the band right now. There would be time for that. Right now, he
just wanted to let thoughts of Colt take all the stress away.
Grabbing his cock, he started to stroke it again as he remembered the sound of Colt coming.
Kyle paced the dressing room nervously. Carl left to pick Colt up at the airport an hour ago, and the
two of them would be arriving anytime. Kyle glanced at the clock. He hoped to see Colt before he took
the stage, but he was due on stage in ten minutes.
"You ready?" Tim called from the doorway.
"Yeah. Be right there." Kyle grabbed his water bottle and downed the rest of the cold fluid.
He wished he was with Carl, picking up Colt. He wanted to head back to the motel and spend time
alone with him, not stand up in front of several thousand fans and perform.
He needed to get his mind on the show and off Colt's arrival. It wasn't just his career on the line. He
had to think about all of them.
He still hadn't told them about his relationship with Colt.
Carl hounded him day and night over the last week to tell them, but Kyle just couldn't do it. Even
when he booked a separate room for Colt with theirs, he knew the others might see him spending the
night in there with him, but he figured he would just claim the two of them had stayed up all night joking
around and talking. The plan was for Carl to take the solo room, leaving Colt and Kyle together.
"Kyle," Matt called from the hall.
"Coming." Kyle tossed the water bottle in the trash and gave himself a final glance in the mirror
before heading out into the hallway where the rest of the band waited.
He followed the others to the backstage area where they waited for their cue. He glanced around
hoping to see Colt and Carl.
"We're on." Luis pulled Kyle's arm as the band headed up to the stage.
Kyle took a deep breath and stepped out on the stage to a loud ovation from the crowd. He waved
and gave his best smile as he shifted to performer mode and took the microphone.
The lights beat down on him as the band went into their opening song. The crowd was large tonight
and he was always pleased when he saw the fans singing the words with him. It still didn't seem real that
they were as popular as they were.
Once he started singing, all thoughts of everything else were gone. He played up the crowd, he
teased the band and he sang each word of every song like his life depended on it.
They were half way through the set when he glanced down to the side of the stage and caught Colt
watching him. He almost stumbled over the words as he smiled and gave a subtle nod before recovering
and turning back to the audience.
It was all he could do not to fly off the stage and into Colt's arms. His heart pounded at the thought
of holding him again. He hated that they would have to wait until they made it back to the motel before
they could really say a proper hello.
Trying to keep his attention on the concert and not the man watching it, he moved from one song to
another. Ignoring the women in the front row who flashed him and tried to get his attention, hoping he
might take them back to the motel with him.
He had who he wanted to spend the night with. No one else would do.
*****
Colt knew that Kyle could sing. He had heard that back in Wyoming, but now, watching him on
stage, playing it up with the crowd, and with the music and lights behind him, Colt realized just how good
Kyle really was.
The pride he felt took him by surprise. He didn't have any right to think of Kyle as his, but he did.
Even though the two of them hadn't ever really talked about their relationship or made any commitments
or promises, Colt knew neither of them were seeing others and hoped that Kyle felt like he did and
wanted this to be a long-term thing.
It was one of the many things Colt wanted to discuss while he was here for three days. Even after all
the nights spent talking for hours on the phone, there were just some things that needed to be discussed in
person, and where their relationship was headed was one of them.
Kyle's voice filled the small arena as he sang. Colt watched the crowd and laughed as one of the girls
threw her bra up at the stage and hit Luis right in the face. Luis took it and hooked it on his guitar as he
winked at the young woman.
Colt now understood what Kyle meant when he said he was worried that coming out might hurt the
fan base. But the way Colt looked at it, the other band members were all good looking men, the women
would keep coming back for them even if Kyle came out.
He was a bit hurt that Kyle had yet to tell even the band. It would make their time together this week
harder. He wanted to be able to hold his hand in public. Let others know they were together. Not that Colt
was insecure, but he liked the thought of publicly staking his claim to the young rock star.
"This is the last song." Carl reached out and took Colt's arm. "Let's wait for them backstage."
Colt nodded and followed the older man away from the stage and through the heavy curtain that
separated the backstage area. He liked Carl. The two hadn't had much time to talk in Wyoming, but on the
drive back from the airport the two of them discussed much.
Colt could see how much Carl cared about Kyle and he respected him for being there for Kyle when
others weren't. It didn't take long for the drive-time conversation to turn to Kyle's fear of coming out.
They both agreed he needed to. That hiding would only make it harder later. Carl tried for years to
talk him into it and admitted to being even more frustrated now that Kyle was actually with someone and
still hiding.
Colt understood both sides, but he agreed with Carl. If he and Kyle had any chance of making a
long-distance relationship work, Kyle would have to come out soon. It was just too hard to hide things
when dealing with tour schedules, motels, and friends around all the time.
He might get away with visiting Kyle on the road one time and claim it was just a friendship, but if
he started to show up more often, the others would start catching on that there was something more.
"You want to wait here for him or his dressing room?" Carl asked as they finally got far enough
away from the music to speak.
Colt wanted to see him as soon as he exited the stage, but he also wanted to hold him the first
moment he saw him. "I think his dressing room is best. He alone in there?"
Carl grinned. "Yeah, they each got their own this time. One of the bonuses of a larger arena instead
of a club."
"Show me the way then. It's probably best if we're alone for a bit."
"Damn shame it has to be this way. Stupid kid doesn't know what's good for him." Carl turned and
led him down a short hallway. He stopped at the open door. "Go on in. He saw you from the stage and I'm
sure he won't make you wait long."
"Thanks for everything, Carl."
"You're good for him, Colt. I hope he pulls his head out and doesn't lose you."
Colt stepped into the small dressing room as Carl shut the door. His stomach turned nervously, and
he swallowed hard to try to push the excitement down as he reminded himself it had only been a month
since he'd seen him last.
He reached out for the stool in front of a large mirror and sat down to wait.
*****
Kyle couldn't get off the stage fast enough. Giving a final wave to the crowd, he turned and darted
down the stairs, stopping cold when he saw Carl standing alone at the bottom.
Carl must have seen the look on his face because he grinned. "He's waiting for you in your dressing
room."
Kyle glanced behind him just as the rest of the band was coming down the stairs. "Thanks, Carl."
He didn't wait for the others. He just took off at a run for his dressing room, hoping the others would
figure he just needed the bathroom.
He stopped in front of the closed door and took a deep breath, then reached out and opened it. He
wanted to be casual but the moment that door opened and he saw Colt sitting across the room on the stool,
he was anything but casual.
He kicked the door closed and all but flew across the room as Colt stood.
Colt reached out and grabbed him as he plowed into his chest, his mouth instantly finding Kyle's for
a hard kiss.
It was as if the world stopped and they were the only two alive as his body melded to Colt's and he
felt the first sweep of Colt's tongue across his lips.
His lips parted as the kiss deepened and Colt turned them to push Kyle back against the wall. Kyle
moaned against his mouth as he felt Colt press a thigh between his legs and lean into his body.
Kyle reached up and brushed his fingers through Colt's hair as the other hooked around his waist and
pulled him even closer.
All the stress and worry Kyle had dealt with over the last month was gone and with Colt finally in
his arms, everything was finally right. This was all he needed in his life to be happy.
"Kyle?"
The sound of Luis's voice froze Kyle mid-kiss. He slowly pulled back and stared in shock at the
doorway.
Luis stood staring at him and Colt in shock. "Um, sorry. I'll just talk to you about it later. Hey Colt."
Luis gave a small wave and backed out of the doorway, shutting the door behind him.
"Shit." Kyle let his head fall into Colt's chest. He was petrified what this might mean. He feared Luis
was already out there telling the others about what he'd walked in on.
"It's okay. He looked shocked, but not upset." Colt lifted Kyle's chin up until he was looking at him.
"Don't worry about this. We will get through it together."
Kyle nodded. "He's going to tell the others."
Colt brushed his mouth over Kyle's. "We will figure it all out."
"Sorry. I was just so happy to see you, I didn't think."
"I'm glad you were that happy." Colt pulled Kyle tight to his chest. "It doesn't change anything."
"I'm so glad you're here. I didn't think this day would ever get here."
"I know me, too. It was all I could do not to run up on that stage and drag you off. You were amazing
up there."
Kyle grinned. "I almost forgot the words to the song when I saw you were here."
"No one noticed." Colt rubbed his nose over Kyle's jaw. "You have me for three days now."
"Think we can hide out in the motel room so I don't have to share you?"
"I think we will have to come out sooner or later. Don't you have a show somewhere else the day
after tomorrow?"
"If the band doesn't kick me out after tonight."
Colt pulled back. "Damn it, Kyle. Would you quit that. You're gay. It doesn't mean everyone is going
to hate you. Doesn't mean your true friends are going to kick you out of the band. You like men. So what?
Are you suddenly going to change who you are once you're out publicly? You're not going to change.
Your friends will still be your friends. Nothing changes except I can finally hold you in public."
Kyle frowned. "You sure about that? I hear all these stories, Colt. How do you know that the band
will stand by me?"
"Cause if any of them had an issue with anyone being gay you would know by how they treat Carl.
They don't treat him any different. They accept him and they will accept you."
Kyle pulled his hair back from his face, holding it in a ponytail behind his head before letting it drop.
"Guess we'll find out." He shook his head. "I don't want to think about it until I have to. If they don't say
anything right away I won't. You're here and that is all that matters. I just want some time for us."
Colt reached for his hand, linking their fingers. "Come here." He pulled him gently to him and kissed
him softly.
A soft knock on the door had them pulling apart again. Kyle shoved his hands in his pockets and
stepped a couple feet away from Colt. "Come in."
Luis opened the door, stepped inside, and then closed the door behind him. "Carl wanted me to tell
you we leave in ten minutes."
Kyle nodded. "Thanks." He shifted from one foot to the other. "Guess you told everyone what you
saw?"
Luis looked from Kyle then at Colt before glaring back at Kyle. "Fuck you. That's your business.
You know I don't go talking about stuff that isn't mine to tell."
Kyle hung his head.
"But I do have a few things to say about it." Luis took a couple more steps toward him.
"I'll leave you two to talk." Colt moved for the door.
"No, Colt. You can hear this. It's nothing that needs privacy. I just want to say I'm happy you've
found someone. It was the last thing I expected, and I got to tell you that bothers me."
Kyle gave Colt an 'I told ya so' look.
Luis shook his head. "Don't even go there, Kyle. It's not the fact your gay that bothers me. It's the
fact that you've lied to us all this time about it. Acting like you were waiting to find the right woman.
We're your best friends, man. You could have told us. Should have told us." He glanced at Colt. "If he
makes you happy then great. But you want my advice? You better tell the others soon because they have a
right to know. They are your best friends and finding out like I just did, well it fucking sucks. It's like you
don't trust us enough to be honest. We aren't stupid. We would have figured it out. Especially if Colt's
going to be around now."
Kyle sighed. He deserved everything Luis was saying to him. Probably deserved worse. He moved to
stand beside Colt. "I didn't know how you would react. I was scared. It wasn't so hard before, but when I
met Colt…" He glanced up at him and smiled. "I'll talk to the others. I promise."
"Good," Luis said. "Now get your ass in gear and pack your shit up. Carl won't wait forever." He
grinned as he turned and stepped out the door.
"Well that went well," Kyle said.
Colt caressed a hand down his back. "He was right. You need to tell the others."
Kyle nodded. "I know. I will. Tomorrow. Tonight is for you and me. I've waited a month to see you.
Making them wait another day won't hurt anything."
Colt brought Kyle's hand to his mouth, kissing his knuckles. "Then show me what I can help you
pack up and let's get outta here."
The band was a bit surprised to see Colt, but took it in stride when he explained he wanted to visit
and see how they lived after they had all spent time seeing his place. Luis stayed quiet and acted like
nothing was different, but Kyle knew it was.
As they drove back to the motel they laughed and joked, filling Colt in on everything that had been
going on since they had last seen him. Kyle smiled as Colt acted like it was all new to him even though
Kyle had filled him in on everything going on when they talked on the phone almost nightly.
"You guys are going to join us at the bar, right?" Tim called from the front of the bus where he sat
with Carl.
Kyle groaned. "He just got here. Give him time to recover from travel. Maybe tomorrow."
Colt nodded. "Think I'll just kick back with Kyle tonight. Tomorrow you guys can show me around
and we can go out. I am a bit tired."
Kyle fisted his hands in his lap to keep from reaching out and taking Colt's hand in a silent thank
you.
"How long you here for, Colt?" Matt flipped a rubber band at Luis.
"Hey." Luis slapped Matt across the back of the head.
"Three days. I wish I could stay longer, but I've got a contractors meeting first of the week." Colt
reached for his water. "I hoped you guys might have time this spring to come out and visit the ranch
again. See what it's really like without all the snow."
"That would be fun. We got a month off sometime the first half the year, don't we, Kyle?" Tim
called.
"Yeah as of right now. Right after we release that new album. But that's a ways off. Could change."
Kyle glanced at Colt. "If we can pull it off we'll be there."
"You don't know what you're getting in to, Colt. You get these city boys around those horses, you're
just asking for trouble," Carl called over his shoulder.
"I'm sure they will do fine," Colt called back. "You're invited too, Carl. You ever been on a horse?"
"Hell no. I like to keep my feet on the ground. You take these boys and teach them. I'll take a week
vacation at the beach while they're gone."
Kyle smiled as they talked more. He loved the way Colt fit right in with them, and how comfortable
everyone was with him. He prayed they would still feel that way when he told them that he and Colt were
dating.
He was glad Colt would be there when he did it. Having to go it alone scared him. At least this way
if they all ran out on him, Colt would still be there.
As Carl pulled in the parking lot, the others started to discuss which bar they were going to hit. Kyle
ignored them as he started to gather his stuff. "Need help with anything, Colt?"
"Nah. I packed light. Just one carry-on. Don't need much for three days." Colt stood grabbing his bag
from the floor.
Kyle felt his cock stir. He hoped they didn't need clothes at all, but knew they would have to come
up for air sooner or later and eat.
As the others stepped from the bus, they forgot about Colt and Kyle as they rushed to shower,
change and head to the bar. Carl was busy shutting down the bus and checking everything he needed to
do, leaving Colt and Kyle alone.
Kyle glanced around nervously. "You have no idea how tempting it is to strip you here and have you
now."
"Have me? Who says I won't be having you first." Colt grinned.
"I don't care who has who. I just want your naked body against mine." Kyle stepped toward him.
"You two off the bus now. I don't let the other boys bring their dates back here. I'm not making any
exceptions for you. You got a good motel room. Go make use of it." Carl stepped back on the bus, an
unlit cigarette hanging from his mouth.
"Come on. He's right. We've waited this long. Can't be more than fifty feet to the room." Colt laced
his fingers with Kyle's and tugged him toward the door.
Kyle followed as he cast a playful glare at Carl. "See you tomorrow."
"Maybe." Colt winked as they stepped off the bus and made their way to the room.
*****
Colt held on to Kyle's hand all the way to the room. He was sure Kyle would pull away if he'd
thought about people seeing them. Colt hoped this was just one small step in Kyle learning to be
comfortable with who he was.
Kyle slid the electronic key into the lock and pushed open the door. The two of them pushed inside
and slammed the door shut.
"Alone." Kyle turned to Colt and smiled.
Colt dropped his bag on the floor, reached out to grasp Kyle by his shirt, and pull him close. "You
have ten seconds to get naked or I'm going to tear the clothes right off you." He pressed his mouth to
Kyle's for a brief kiss and then pushed him back.
His hands went to the front of his own dark blue western shirt. He gave one hard pull and the snaps
down the front came apart, exposing his chest. He shrugged off the shirt as his hands went to his pants.
Kyle pulled his shirt over his head while kicking off his shoes at the same time. The two men stared
at each other as they lowered their pants. Colt took a moment longer as he toed off his cowboy boots.
When he looked back up, Kyle stood naked and hard before him.
"Damn you're sexier than I remember. I can't believe you're mine." Colt reached down to stroke his
own cock.
"Am I, Colt? Am I yours?" Kyle met his stare.
"I want you to be. I know we haven't really talked about it, but I would like to know you're mine.
That I'm yours." Colt let go of his cock and stepped closer to place his hands on Kyle's hips. "I haven't
been with anyone since you. Don't want anyone but you."
Kyle trembled under Colt's touch. "I don't want anyone else. I just worry that you will need more
than I can give you." He sighed. "I can't get out of touring. I have to be on the road, and our time together
will —."
"Shh. I know that and I'm still willing to try. I will take what I can get. We will make this work,
somehow."
Kyle nodded as he closed the inches between them and rested his head against Colt's chest. "I was
worried you wouldn't come."
"It was all I could do to stay away." Colt reached up and moved the hair back from Kyle's shoulder
so he could lay a kiss below his ear. "Leaving is going to be even harder."
"Don't. Don't talk about leaving yet. I don't want to think that far ahead." Kyle moved his hand
between them and stroked Colt's cock several times. "You told me to undress. Did you have something in
mind?"
Colt swayed his hips back and forth as Kyle stroked him. "I have a lot of things in mind. I'm trying to
decide where to start."
"Well I'm tired of waiting for you." Kyle slid to his knees and took Colt in his mouth.
"Shit." Colt watched as Kyle took his cock deep into his throat and then slid his lips back over it. He
reached for Kyle's hair and pulled it back from his face. He loved the way Kyle's cheeks hollowed as he
sucked him back and forth.
Colt's fisted his hands tighter in Kyle's hair. "Don't stop."
Kyle glanced up at him, his eyes blinking innocently.
The innocent look about brought Colt off. He groaned as he tried to remember if any mouth had ever
felt so good on him. Kyle might have little experience but he was a natural when it came to knowing how
to satisfy.
Colt's pulse raced as Kyle cupped his balls with his free hand. His cock wept and Kyle swept his
tongue over the head to clean the pre-cum from it. His knees shook as he tried to hold back his orgasm.
Kyle gave his balls a hard squeeze and tightened his lips even more around him.
"You want me to come? Cause I'm close," Colt warned.
Kyle gave his balls another squeeze and gave a small nod as he increased his motion up and down
Colt's shaft.
That was all Colt needed to hear. He tightened his grip on Kyle's head and started to thrust hard into
his throat. Kyle gagged, but didn't back away. He gave a quick glance up at Colt and went right back to
taking him deep. He gagged again and the pressure of Kyle's throat closing around him pushed Colt right
over the edge. His balls tightened, his spine tingled, and he let out a loud groan as his orgasm washed
through him.
He had to brace his legs to stay standing as he went off into Kyle's mouth, his body shuddering with
each burst of come that shot from him.
Kyle sucked him clean, continuing to lick up and down Colt even after the orgasm had faded and he
had finally relaxed.
Colt reached down to ease his cock from Kyle's lips and then hooked his hands under his arms and
pulled him up so he could kiss him.
He tasted his own release on his tongue and that only excited him more. "I can't get enough of you."
"Good." Kyle turned as he grabbed Colt's arm and pulled him to the bed. "Because I am far from
finished." He pushed Colt down on the bed face first and reached for his ass, spreading his cheeks wide.
Before Colt could react, he bent down and buried his face between his ass cheeks and licked.
"Ugh," Colt grunted into the comforter as he lifted his ass up. The warmth of Kyle's tongue and the
force in which he took control was more than Colt ever hoped for. He had come expecting Kyle to still be
shy and curious. Finding him aggressive was a welcome surprise.
The tip of Kyle's tongue licked over Colt's puckered hole, easing inside him only to withdraw and
lick up and down the crack again and settle on his balls, where Kyle drew one into his mouth and then the
other.
Colt reached back and spread his ass wider. His chest heaved against the bed as he all but whimpered
under the assault of Kyle's tongue.
"You want me?" Kyle knelt up behind him and slapped his cock against each cheek of Colt's ass.
"You know I do."
"Tell me."
"Fuck. I want you." Colt groaned face first into the mattress. He could feel the wetness on his ass
from where Kyle's cock had smacked him.
His ass clenched and released as he readied himself for what was to come.
"I fucking love your ass." Kyle bent down to once again run his tongue over it. "I dreamt of this
moment so many times in the last month."
Kyle raised back up, and a second later the tip of Kyle's cock pressed against Colt. He let out a deep
breath as he pushed back and parted for the welcome intrusion.
"It's so fucking hot watching you spread around me." Kyle's fingers pressed into Colt's hips as he
pushed forward.
"Quit talking and fuck me," Colt growled.
Kyle laughed as he continued to push in. "It will be my pleasure."
Kyle's cock sank deep as Colt reached down to cup his own balls, squeezing them tight in his palm.
His ass stretched and burned pleasingly. He clamped his muscles down in approval.
Kyle's swift intake of breath brought a smile to Colt's face. He loved the soft sounds Kyle made each
time they made love.
Colt froze at the thought. Was that what this was? Had their relationship gone from just fucking to
making love? Colt's heart pounded at the thought, but before he could take too long to analyze it, Kyle
started to move in and out of him in hard, strong strokes. All coherent thoughts would have to wait.
"You're so tight. I'm not going to last. I've wanted this for too long. Thought about it too often."
Kyle's words were already coming out in breathless gasps as Colt felt his balls slap against the back of his
own.
The two of them moved their bodies against each other as they worked to bring on the pleasure they
had both been craving for the last month. Colt thought about how many nights he had spent alone,
masturbating as he thought about just this thing, Kyle's cock inside him and the feel of his body pressing
hard against his own.
His cock stirred, unable to ignore the constant stimulation of Kyle's as it speared into him. He shook
with emotion and need as he moved his hand back to his cock and started to stroke himself in rhythm with
Kyle's thrusts.
He heard Kyle groan behind him and the grip on his hips tightened. He wished they were face to face
so he could watch the look on Kyle's face.
"Can't…" Kyle's hips rocked into him harder and then stilled.
Colt's body trembled with Kyle's convulsions as he felt the warm heat fill his ass and Kyle's cock
pulse inside him. His own cock grew even harder as Kyle collapsed over his back and wrapped his arms
around him.
Their sweat covered skin pressed together and Colt welcomed the weight as he stroked his cock
faster. Kyle's breath brushed over his shoulders and his long hair fell down his arm.
"I'm not pulling out until you come." Kyle reached down and scraped his fingers under Colt's balls.
"I want to feel you tight around my cock."
Colt grunted. It was the only response he could get out as his pleasure increased and he thought
about what Kyle said, his ass clamping down around Kyle's cock as he came.
His thumb caressed over the head as he spread the pre-cum down the shaft and tightened his fist.
Kyle continued to run his fingers over his balls and even teased him by moving his spent cock in and out
of him a few times with shallow thrusts.
Colt was on fire. His stomach tightened as his eyes closed and he took a deep breath just moments
before his cock exploded beneath him. Steams of cum flew from the head of his cock and over the
comforter.
Kyle tightened his grip around him, holding him up as he rode out his release. "Ah, fuck yeah."
The gentle touch of Kyle's mouth to his spine caused him to shiver as his body gave a final heave
and he collapsed on the bed.
Kyle's weight pressed him to the mattress for a moment before he gently pulled out of Colt's ass and
rolled to the side.
Colt glanced at him and smiled, too weak to do more for a minute.
"Going to live?" Kyle smiled.
"If for no other reason than to feel that again."
"Trust me, as much as I missed you this month, you will experience that many times just tonight."
Colt rolled to his back. "Here I thought we would go out for a late dinner, maybe a little dancing."
"Not a chance I'm letting you get dressed again for the next twelve hours." Kyle turned on his side to
rest his head against Colt's chest.
Colt smiled. He was happy lying naked with Kyle the rest of the night. He brushed his fingers
through Kyle's long hair and sighed contently. His thoughts roamed back to the random thought he had as
they were having sex. Making love.
As he stared at the man against his chest there wasn't a doubt in his mind that he had already lost his
heart to Kyle. Now the issue was what to do about it. There wasn't a way around their schedules. Kyle had
to tour. Could they make this work long-term from a distance?
He blinked as he ran his fingers through Kyle's hair, his fingers tangling in the long strands. Would
Kyle even want to? Colt just assumed Kyle was feeling the same way he was. He didn't know for sure.
Taking a deep breath he decided there was only one way to find out. "I want to tell you something."
Kyle lifted his head, resting it on his arm. "Sure. What's up?"
Colt smiled at Kyle's innocent stare. He loved that about him. Everything was new to him. His heart
hadn't ever been broken, scared or rejected. He envied him this. "I know we've only known each other a
month, but we have spent hours almost nightly talking, getting to know each other. In that time, I just
wanted you to know how much you mean to me. I know this won't be easy for us, but I'd like to try. I
want something long-term with you." He reached out and brushed a long strand of hair back that had
fallen over Kyle's face. "Maybe even forever." He watched Kyle for his reaction. "I love you."
He saw the tears moisten Kyle's eyes. "I'm so glad you feel that way. I was so scared it was mostly
me. I was confused that what I'm feeling would scare you away. I love you, too. I have for a while now."
"Then we can work toward forever?"
Kyle nodded as he swiped at the wetness against his cheek. "Yes. God, yes."
Colt grabbed him and pulled him up over his body and his mouth met his. The kiss was full of
promise and emotion that Colt could never have said aloud. He gave everything he had to the kiss and
prayed that nothing would ever take Kyle from him.
"I wish I'd met you before the band took off, before all this touring started. I hate we don't have
much time together." Kyle pressed his lips to Colt's shoulder.
"We'll find the time. It will make what time we do share that much better. If we can make it through
the tough times now, we will be that much stronger together." Colt kissed his forehead as he combed his
fingers through Kyle's hair.
"You're going to be with me when I tell the band about us tomorrow, right?"
"Of course. I wouldn't make you go through it alone. I think you will be surprised how well they take
it."
Kyle tightened his grip around Colt's body. "I expected Luis to be the worse of them all. I guess if he
can deal, so can the others."
"Right. And when we come across those few who can't deal, we ignore them. We have each other
and that's all we need." Colt brushed his hand over Kyle's ass. "God it's good to hold you and not just talk
on the phone."
"Mmm, that's not the only thing that's better than on the phone."
Colt laughed. "Yeah, I think we wore out every fantasy we could come up with. Now to make all
those fantasies a reality." He rolled until he pinned Kyle beneath him. "We better get started. After all, we
only have three days."
Kyle paced the motel room as Colt sat at the small table watching him. His stomach was in knots as
nausea rolled through him. He was the one always in control, taking the lead and pushing the band
forward. Now, in just ten minutes, the rest of the band would show up for a meeting that Kyle called and
he would have to come clean.
"You're going to wear out the carpet. Come here." Colt held out his arms.
Kyle shook his head. "I can't sit still. I'm too nervous."
"It will be over soon and you will wonder what you were so worried about."
"No. Once I come out to them, I will have to face the fans next."
Colt laughed. "Do you know what a new following you will get? You might lose all those screaming
women, but with your looks and your voice, you will become a sensation in the gay community."
Kyle took a deep breath as he sat down on the corner of the bed. "That or I will be condemned for
hiding it all these years."
Colt stood and walked toward him. "Is that what you're worried about? Everyone comes out in a
different way, at a different time. Some never come out. It won't matter to anyone when you do it."
The thought of being out and standing up on the stage in front of everyone for the first time scared
the hell out of him. It was stupid, he didn't argue that, but it was how he felt and he couldn't change it.
His shoulders tensed as there was a knock on the door. Colt gave him a quick kiss and turned to open
it.
"Hey." Carl pushed past Colt. "I was starting to wonder if you two lived through the night until I got
your call this afternoon about the meeting." He pulled out a chair and sat down, lifting his feet to rest on
the edge of one of the two beds.
"We lived." Colt grinned. "But we have two more days to get through. Might want to check on us
every twelve hours or so."
Kyle rolled his eyes as he fisted his hands together in his lap.
"Did you guys even get a chance to eat? We looked for you at breakfast." Carl pulled a cigarette out
and tapped it on the table.
"We ordered pizza late last night, had leftovers for breakfast." Colt sat down beside Kyle, resting his
arm around his waist.
Kyle stiffened, not wanting to have the others walk in and see them holding each other. Sure, he was
going to tell them, but he preferred it come from him and they not walk in and see it the way Luis had. "I
need some water." Kyle stood and went to the sink that sat outside the bathroom door.
Carl raised a brow. "I can pretty much guess what this meeting is about. I haven't seen you this tense
since we signed our first contract."
Kyle braced his hands on the sink and debated on cancelling everything, but as he stared in the
mirror, he saw Colt looking back at him. He couldn't back out. He owed this to Colt, hell, he owed it to
his friends. Everyone that would be here today were the ones who he was closest to. He needed to grow
some balls and face them. His fingers clung to the counter as he hung his head. He took several deep
breaths as another knock came at the door.
"Hey guys," Colt said.
Kyle turned to see Colt holding the door open as the rest of the band stepped into the room. Tim and
Matt jumped onto one bed and propped themselves against the makeshift headboard as Luis took the free
chair at the table with Carl.
"So did you come up with a new song for the album?" Matt looked over at Kyle.
Kyle glanced at Colt and then to Carl who both gave him a supportive smile. Luis glanced down at
his feet.
"Um, no. I do have some ideas, but that's not why I called the meeting. I needed to…" He swallowed
hard and turned to grab the glass of water he had left on the counter. Taking a long drink, he cleared his
throat. "I wanted to tell you guys something."
Every eye in the room was on him and his stomach pitched nervously.
"Go ahead, Kyle," Carl gave him a supportive smile.
Kyle took another deep breath and shoved his hands into his pockets as he shifted from one foot to
the other. "Well I've kinda met someone."
Matt laughed. "It's about damn time. When do we get to meet her?"
Kyle's face heated as he set the water glass down on the small dresser. "That's the thing guys. You've
already met them." He brushed his hand through his hair and decided to seal his fate. "Colt and I…" He
reached for Colt who sat on the bed several steps away.
Colt stood and went to Kyle's side and wrapped his arm around his waist. "We're together." He
smiled as he glanced at Kyle. "We thought you deserved to know since I will be around a lot more now."
Kyle's heart pounded as he glanced around the room trying to judge reactions. Everyone stared at
them for a moment and then Luis stood.
"I'm glad you finally found someone. Maybe now you won't hide away in your room all the time and
might actually join us when we go out." Luis stepped in front of Kyle and hugged him and then hugged
Colt. "I couldn't be happier for you, man."
Kyle let out a long, relieved breath. "Thanks, Luis."
"You two have been together since we were in Wyoming?" Tim swung his legs off the side of the
bed.
Kyle nodded. "Yeah."
"Why didn't you tell us before? Why all the lies about waiting for the right woman?" Tim didn't look
mad but confused.
Kyle rolled his shoulders and tightened his grip on Colt's waist. "I wasn't sure how you would take it.
How it might hurt the band."
"Hurt the band?" Matt stood. "How the hell would this hurt the band?"
"Fans, our following. All those females." Kyle shrugged.
"Shit, Kyle." Luis laughed. "The females are there because of me. Not you. You will have the men
screaming for you now. It will only add to our fan base not hurt it."
"Told ya." Colt smiled beside him.
Kyle pinched Colt's side. "How was I to know how everyone would react?"
"We're your friends, Kyle. Do you think we care who you fuck?" Tim shook his head. "I can't
believe you hid this from us. Lied to us about it."
Carl coughed and everyone looked over at him. "You guys give him a break. He's struggled with this
a long time. Now that he's told you we can move forward. Right?" He gave a stern fatherly look around
the room.
Luis moved back to his chair and nodded at Carl. "Agreed."
Matt stepped to Kyle and reached out giving his shoulder a squeeze. "I'm just glad you're happy. I
hate that you felt you had to keep this from us. No more secrets okay?"
Kyle smiled. "Yeah, promise. No more lies."
Tim still sat on the bed. "So how you going to tell the fans?"
"Does he have to? He doesn't have to make a formal announcement. Just us being out together will
get word out. He may get questions about it in time, but I don't think most fans will even pay attention."
Colt slid his hand under Kyle's t-shirt and caressed his back.
"I don't know yet. I wanted you guys to know, but I haven't had a chance to think about fans. Maybe
Colt is right and I don't need to make it formal but just let them see us together and get used to it on their
own." Thinking about going out as a couple, holding hands, and being seen in public together still sent
Kyle's pulse racing with fear.
Matt moved back against the door and leaned against it. "Guess this explains where you're sudden
talent for writing ballads came from."
A blush worked up Kyle's neck as he looked over at Colt and smiled.
Tim tossed a pen playfully at Kyle. "If that's what it takes to write a bestseller, then I'm all for it."
"How's this going to work? You coming on tour with us, Colt?" Luis bent forward in his chair,
resting his arms on his legs.
"No. I have a ranch to run. I'll fly in when I can get away and spend a few days with Kyle. I'm
hoping he will come spend his longer breaks with me on the ranch." Colt ran his fingers over Kyle's
spine.
"Yeah, you guys might get a break from me for a bit once we finish up the tour and new album."
Kyle shrugged. "Anyway, that's all the meeting was about. I just wanted you all to know. Anyone else
have anything they need to talk about?"
Everyone looked around the room and shook their head.
"Well then, I suggest we leave these two alone and get on with our day. You two will be joining us
for dinner tonight, right?" Carl made it more a demand than a request.
"We'll be there," Colt answered.
"Good. I'm proud of you, Kyle. Glad you finally did this." Carl stood and went over and hugged him.
"What? You knew about this already?" Tim looked at the two of them.
"You boys should know you can't keep anything from me. Of course I knew. Just like I know your
still talking to that red headed girl you met in Nebraska. It's my job to know what you boys are up to."
Carl grinned as he bit down on the end of his unlit cigarette and made for the door.
Tim blushed and hung his head as he followed Carl. "Speaking of Trisha, I have a phone call to
make."
One by one the group left, and when it was just the two of them Kyle fell back on the bed and let out
a heavy sigh. "Guess that wasn't too bad. Tim didn't look happy."
Colt crawled onto the bed and wrapped his arm over Kyle's chest. "I think he was more upset you
kept it from him. Not that we're together." He brushed his lips over Kyle's. "Feel better having it out in the
open?"
"Yeah. I'm more glad I don't have to hide it. It wasn't fair to you. You going to be okay going out
tonight with them?"
"Why wouldn't I be? I have nothing to hide. I look forward to getting to know all of them better.
Seeing what it's really like for you guys on the road."
Kyle smirked. "You mean all the women throwing themselves at us wherever we go, or how we can't
get a moment to relax unless we hide out in the motel room? At times I miss being unknown. It's cool
making it big and being noticed, but I miss just hanging with the guys."
"Maybe the women will leave you alone now."
"I hope so." Kyle rolled over on his side and slid his leg between Colt's. "Make love to me."
"Would be my pleasure."
Colt waited for Kyle to shove the motel keycard in his pocket and then reached for his hand. "Do you
know where we're going?"
"They said it was a bar just down the street. Roberto's or something like that." Kyle linked his fingers
with Colt's, but looked around as he did it as if he was looking to see who was watching.
Colt knew it would take Kyle some time to get over having to hide. "If we can't find it we can always
head back to the room and order pizza again."
Kyle shivered. "You're going to kill me. I'm going to need the breaks between visits just to let my
body recover."
"That's the whole idea. I want you to remember our time together even when we aren't together."
They made their way down the stairs and onto the sidewalk.
"Like I could forget."
Colt brushed his hand through his thick dark hair and glanced down the road. "Have you been here
before?"
"Nope. First time. Carl said the food was good."
"It's not food I'm hungry for." Colt gave Kyle a heated look.
"You just had me in the shower."
"Wasn't enough."
Kyle laughed as he pulled his hand free and tied his hair back into a ponytail before reaching once
again for Colt's fingers. "What does it take to satisfy you?"
Colt grinned. "I'll let you know if and when that ever happens. I can't see myself ever getting enough
of you."
Kyle smiled. "There's the bar." He pulled Colt forward. "I'm starving."
They stepped into the darkened bar and Colt paused to let his eyes adjust before looking around for
the band.
"Over here." Matt waved from a booth toward the back.
Colt smiled as the two of them headed back. Luis and Carl threw darts a few feet from the booth as
the others nursed beers. "Hey guys."
Kyle slid into the booth. "Sorry we're late."
"We were wondering if you two would even show." Tim grinned. "We've already ordered. You gotta
try the burgers here. They are to die for."
Colt sat beside Kyle and placed his hand on his leg under the table as he looked around. The bar
wasn't very crowded and he was thankful for that. He never had been one for crowded clubs. He glanced
at Kyle and wondered if he might get him to dance with him tonight. He didn't want to rush things, but he
really looked forward to being able to do things they hadn't had a chance to do before.
The waitress came and took their orders. Colt ordered a double cheeseburger and smiled as Kyle did
the same. Several minutes later, they had their beers in front of them and he sat back and relaxed as he
listened to the others talk.
It was obvious just how close everyone was. They talked more like a family. Like brothers than just
friends. Colt longed to have the same thing and it made him realize just how alone he was back on the
ranch.
The food came a few minutes later, and they ate in silence. The bar started to fill up and he noticed
several females eyeing the table and the hushed whispers around them. He also noticed Kyle tense when
Colt rested a hand on his knee under the table.
He glanced over to see Kyle looking at the crowd around them. He pulled his hand back, raising a
brow as Kyle looked over at him.
"I won't push this." Colt kept his voice low. "If you're not ready, it's okay."
Kyle hung his head. "I'm trying." He glanced back up at Colt. "I know it's stupid, but —"
"You don't have to explain anything to me. I told you, take your time. When you're ready you can
come out to the public." Colt glanced around them. "We came here to relax and have fun. Don't ruin it by
worrying."
Two girls approached the table, and Colt watched as Kyle sat up straighter and masked his
expression with the same look Colt had seen him use on stage.
"You're Rapture. We saw your concert. You want to dance?" The taller of the two brunettes bent
over the table, giving them an unwanted look at her ample cleavage.
Kyle shook his head. "Thanks for the offer, but we just got our food." He glanced around the table.
"Maybe once you finish?" The other girl brushed her hand down Colt's back, but her eyes locked on
Kyle.
"Thanks, but no. We are here to relax." Kyle smiled up at her.
"I'll dance." Luis stood up and slid out of the other side of the booth. He hooked both his arms
around both girls and led them toward the dance floor.
Colt shook his head. "Are they always so…" He shrugged. "I don't have words."
"Slutty." Carl offered from across the table.
"Yeah I guess that works." Colt laughed as he took a bite of his pickle spear.
"Most are worse. Depends how much these boys have had to drink on if it works or not." Carl
elbowed Tim.
"This is why I don't join them often." Kyle pushed his plate back. "I used to think it would be so cool
to have people recognize us when we went out. Not so much."
Colt patted Kyle on the back. "I'll protect you."
Kyle grinned. "You might have to, here come two more."
The night went on and the women kept coming. The rest of the band made the best of it, dancing and
giving some of the women the attention they craved, leaving Carl, Colt and Kyle to the quiet booth.
Colt fisted his hands in his lap to keep himself from putting his arm around Kyle and several times
caught himself leaning over to kiss his cheek, only to have to pull back. It was killing him to not be able
to hold him in public.
But this was what Kyle wanted and for the time being he would give it to him.
"You ready to go?" Kyle asked after an hour of watching everyone around them.
"Sure." Colt stood.
"You boys mind if I walk back with you?" Carl asked.
"Not at all." Kyle tossed a fifty on the table toward Matt. "Use this for our bill."
Matt took the money and nodded. "We'll see you in the morning."
"We have to be at the arena by noon, make sure you're ready." Carl called over his shoulder.
As they stepped back out into the night, darkness had set and the streetlights lit the sidewalk as they
made their way back to the motel. They walked in silence and Colt was pleasantly surprised when Kyle
reached for his hand and linked their fingers together.
It was Carl who finally broke the silence. "I was proud of you today, Kyle. Been waiting a long time
for you to face your fears. You did good."
Kyle smiled at Colt before looking back to Carl. "Still not sure I'm ready for this. It was hard in the
bar."
"You'll get there. Once you see how silly you're being, and how everyone who matters still cares."
Carl glanced at the store across the way. "I'm going over there to get some smokes and some chips to eat
while I watch TV. You two go on ahead."
"You sure? We can go with you." Colt stopped walking.
"Nah. It's only half a block." Carl waved them off as he turned away from them. "You two enjoy
your night."
"Does he ever date?" Colt asked as they started walking again.
"Not really. He was seeing someone back home when we made it back that way. I don't know what
happened with that but he hasn't seen anyone in a few years." Kyle pressed closer to Colt as several kids
on skateboards rode by.
"That's too bad. He's a good man."
"More of a father to all of us than anything. He keeps to himself a lot. Kinda a bookworm. He's the
core of this band. We might get up on stage, but he is the one who holds us together and keeps us focused
on things." Kyle let go of Colt's hand to pull the room key from his pocket.
"He book most your concerts?"
"No, we work with a promoter now. It used to be us doing everything, but it's gotten too hard. A
promoter gets us in the bigger arenas, opening for some of the larger bands." He pushed the door open
and they stepped inside.
"Never thought I would date a rock star." Colt grinned as he tossed his cellphone on the table.
"Never thought I would date a cowboy." Kyle stepped toward him as he lifted his shirt from his
head.
They stared at each other for several moments. Colt had never felt an emotional pull with someone
the way he did to Kyle. He could physically feel his pulse speed up every time he looked at him. He was
already dreading having to leave.
Reaching out, he ran his fingers down Kyle's chest. "I'll make a cowboy out of you yet."
Kyle caught Colt's hand in his own and pressed it over his heart as he shook his head, his long hair
falling over his shoulders. "Maybe I'll make a rocker out of you."
Colt smiled as he wrapped his arm around Kyle's hip and pulled him flush against him. "Meet you
half way?"
"Mmm. I love a man who is willing to compromise." Kyle slid his hand under Colt's shirt and up his
back. "Does this mean I need a cowboy hat?"
"If you promise to wear it and nothing else." Colt rocked his hips forward.
Kyle groaned as their cocks pressed against each other through their pants. "I can do that, but what
about you? What do I get in return?"
"I can sing to you while naked, but that might scare you away."
"I don't think anything you did would ever scare me away." Kyle reached between them and started
to work the button on Colt's pants loose.
"You haven't heard me sing." Colt bent his head forward and sucked on Kyle's chin before scraping
his teeth over it.
As he slid his hand into Colt's pants and wrapped his hand around his cock, Kyle smiled. "You can
sing for me now."
Colt shook his head as he trailed his tongue up Kyle's neck and nipped at his earlobe. "My mouth is
busy."
"So is mine." Kyle fell to his knees as he freed Colt from the confines of his pants and covered his
cock with his lips.
"Fuck, you're beautiful when you do that." Colt stared down at Kyle, watching him slide his mouth
down his shaft. Colt pushed his pants farther down his legs before pausing to toe off his boots and then
work his pants the rest of the way off. His shirt went next. He tossed it across the room as he glanced back
down at Kyle.
Kyle's gaze cast up at him, and Colt smiled down at him as he gently rocked his hips back and forth.
Kyle knew just how to bring him off, and as Kyle's tongue licked under the head of his cock, and his hand
came up to cup his balls, Colt forced back a moan of pleasure. Kyle's mouth was pure wet heat and as he
pulled against his cock, Colt prayed he could hold back.
"Don't want to come this way. Need inside you." He stepped back, his cock slipping from between
Kyle's lips to slap against Colt's thigh. "Get undressed." Colt reached for him and lifted him to his feet.
"Demanding, aren't you?"
"You haven't seen anything yet. Now strip." Colt stroked his cock as he watched Kyle start to work
out of his jeans.
Kyle's cock sprang free and Colt liked his lips as he saw the purple head and glistening drop of
precum. He loved how hard Kyle was for him. As Kyle stepped toward him, he stepped back. "No. Want
you on the bed with your ass in the air."
Kyle smiled over his shoulder as he climbed on the bed, staying up on all fours, his feet hanging off
the edge of the bed. "Like this?"
"Just like that." Colt walked up behind him and squeezed his ass cheeks. Kyle's cock and balls hung
heavy between his legs and Colt slid down to his knees and licked over them, enjoying the gasp of
pleasure that he heard from Kyle. "Good?"
"Don't stop." Kyle dropped his arms and head down on the bed but kept his ass up high.
"No way am I stopping. I've just begun." Colt parted Kyle's ass cheeks, licked up his crack, and then
back down. He finally settled his tongue right against his hole and started to lick and tease against it.
"Ugh… Shit…" Kyle pushed his ass back, pressing hard against Colt's tongue.
Colt welcomed it as he pushed the tip of his tongue into him and started to suck and lick even harder,
fucking him with his tongue as one hand played over Kyle's balls and the other went between his legs to
find his own cock and stroke it.
"You're going to make me come." Kyle's voice was muffled as he rocked his hips harder.
"Then come." Colt spoke against his ass. He wasn't about to stop, even if Kyle came. He was
enjoying this too much. He hoped Kyle would hold off, suffer, and let the pleasure build.
Kyle's ass spread around him, his tongue circling the soft skin as Kyle's thrusting moved his cock
against Colt's hand. Wanting nothing more than to bring Kyle to the edge, he pulled back, released his
balls, and slid two fingers inside Kyle's ass.
"Oh God." Kyle cried out. "You're going to kill me."
"Never. I enjoy this too much to let you die." Colt started to fuck him with his fingers, using more
force than he normally would have. His fingers disappeared between the crevice and reappeared coated in
wetness. His own cock ached, warning him that if he needed to do something with it soon.
He lowered his head and sucked on the bottom of Kyle's ball sack as he continued to work his
fingers in and out of him and work his other hand over his cock. Kyle moaned softly into the comforter
and Colt's need grew stronger with each sound.
Standing he pulled his fingers from Kyle and stepped up behind him. He slapped the head of his cock
against his ass. "You want me?"
"Yes."
"How bad?"
"Just put it in me." Kyle's voice sounded desperate.
"You telling me what to do?" Colt smiled as he slapped Kyle's ass with his cock again.
"Hell yes. Fuck me. I need you inside me."
Colt pressed the tip of his cock to Kyle's ass and slipped the head in and then pulled back out. "Like
that?"
"If you don't fuck me, I'm going to fuck you." Kyle turned his head to look back as he slid his own
hand between his legs and started to work his own cock.
"Or I could just step back and watch you bring yourself off."
"You wouldn't"
"But I could."
"Fuck me."
"Say please."
"Please."
Colt's laughter filled the room as he used one hand to angle his cock back to Kyle's ass and the other
to brace his hips. He took a breath to steady his own arousal, and plunged forward, sinking his cock deep
in one hard stroke.
"Oh shit." Kyle fell forward, but Colt's hand held him tight and refused to let go.
He shifted his other hand to the other hip and started to fuck him. He wasn't in the mood for soft and
gentle and he used everything he had to take Kyle hard as he watched his own cock slide in and out of
Kyle's tightness.
As Kyle recovered, he started to thrust back into him, meeting each surge of Colt's hips. The two of
them paired perfectly when it came to sex. Colt had never had a lover meet his needs the way Kyle did.
He watched them together, taking in each curve of Kyle's body, the smell of their loving, and the feel of
Kyle's body around him. His cock ached as it slid in and out of Kyle, and Kyle tightened to bring him
even more pleasure.
"I love you." Colt released one hand to scratch his fingers down Kyle's back.
"I love you, too." Kyle's head pressed to the bed, his hair falling into a mess around it.
Colt reached out, grabbed a fistful of Kyle's hair and pulled, the long locks wrapping around his
fingers leaving Kyle no choice but to lift his head and arch back into the thrusts.
They both fought for air, their breath coming in loud gasps and pants. Sweat coated their bodies as
they continued to work against each other.
Kyle's hand worked his own cock, but the rocking of their hips made it hard for him to keep a steady
rhythm.
That was fine with Colt. He didn't want him to come yet anyway. He wanted more, and by the way
his cock and balls throbbed, it was clear he wouldn't be able to hold back long.
His fingers tightened around Kyle's hip until they almost dug into his skin and he bent forward,
pulling Kyle's head around to the side to kiss him. The taste of Kyle's mouth surged his body to the limits
and as he settled back, he knew he was about to lose any control he ever had.
The muscles in his neck strained as he felt his balls grow tight. His head fell back and ecstasy swam
down his spine, and through his balls, bursting forward as he came. Sweat dripped down his back as a soft
groan escaped him. His cock pulsed as he fed his seed into Kyle.
Several seconds he sat frozen as the last waves of pleasure coursed through him, he was finally able
to draw air into his lungs, and clear his head from the passion he had just felt. His fingers untwisted from
Kyle's hair and his hands eased on his hips. Kyle fell forward, causing Colt to fall free of Kyle's ass.
Kyle rolled to his back as he stared up at Colt, his cock still hard between them. "Make me come." It
came out more of a plea than a command.
Colt smiled and reached for Kyle's cock, fisting his hand tightly around it. "How? How do you want
me? My mouth? My ass? What do you want, Kyle?"
Kyle's eyes flashed as he glanced down to where Colt held him. "I want to fuck you."
Without warning, Kyle reached up and pulled Colt to him. Their mouths met for a hard kiss before
Kyle rolled them, easing his legs between Colt's as he smiled down at him. "It's not nice to make me beg
for you." He rolled his hips, allowing his cock to press against Colt's ass.
"You liked it." Colt reached up and grasped Kyle's hair again as he pulled him down for another kiss.
When Kyle broke away he rose up on his knees and pushed Colt's legs back. "I did, and I'm about to
show you how much." He reached between them and rubbed the head of his cock against Colt's ass.
The pre-cum covered head pressed forward and Colt groaned as he parted for Kyle's cock. His knees
nearly touched his shoulders as Kyle pressed down on him.
"Feel good?"
"You know it does." Colt fisted the blanket beneath him as Kyle pushed deeper.
Colt's heart still pounded from his own release moments earlier, and he bit back a cry when Kyle
settled in him and pressed forward against his sensitive balls to steal another kiss.
"I could stay right here inside you all night."
"Only all night?" Colt reached up and brushed Kyle's hair back from his face.
"Forever if you'd let me."
"Promise not to move and I might let you."
"Oh, but I have to move." Kyle gave a gentle thrust. "It feels too good not to move inside you."
"Then take what you need." Colt clamped his ass down around Kyle's cock.
"You do things like that and I won't last long." Kyle slowly started to move.
Colt wrapped his hands around his own legs, holding them up for Kyle. "I don't care how fast you
come as long as I get to watch you do it."
Kyle grinned. "I think I can arrange that." He braced his arms on the bed and started to move faster.
Colt's body rocked under the weight of Kyle's force, and he welcomed it. He watched as Kyle's hair
fell forward and covered half his face. God how he loved that hair. The soft brush of it over his skin, the
feel of it against his hand, and the scent of it when Colt held him and could bury his nose against the long
brown length.
Kyle was nothing he ever expected and everything he needed.
Colt wrapped his legs around Kyle, pulling them closer together so he could lean up and catch his
mouth for another kiss. His ass ached, his cock pulsed and all he could do was hold on and get lost in the
man who was inside him. He would give anything to Kyle, and the more time they spent together the
deeper those feelings became.
"I'm going to come." Kyle looked down at him. "You wanted to watch?"
"Yes." Colt groaned as he saw Kyle's body start to tense and the way his jaw set tight right before his
release.
Kyle shocked him as he pulled back and took his cock quickly from Colt's ass and started to stroke it.
Kyle's body trembled as he worked his fist faster over it before crying out as his orgasm shot through him
and hot cum started to cover Colt's stomach.
Watching Kyle come was the sexiest thing he had ever seen. The way he tossed his head back, parted
his lips and almost whimpered as he milked his cock was almost better than his own orgasm had been.
Colt smeared the cum over his stomach, enjoying the thick wetness against his skin. He lifted his
fingers to his mouth and licked at them for a moment as Kyle watched him.
He grinned and rubbed some more off his stomach. "Want some?"
"Not from your hand." Kyle lowered his body over Colt's and licked over his lips before sliding his
tongue inside and sucking his own taste from Colt's mouth.
Colt moaned with the kiss as he wrapped his arms around Kyle. "This is much better than hanging
out at some bar."
"You don't miss all the women paying you attention?" Kyle teased.
"Not one bit. I have everything I need right here in my arms."
"Make you a deal." Kyle lifted his head to look at Colt.
"What's that?"
"If you get up and turn off the lights, I'll let you wake me in three hours to make love again."
Colt laughed as he rolled out from under Kyle and stood. "You'd let me anyway."
"True." Kyle pulled back the covers and slipped under them. "I just wanted to watch your ass walk
across the room."
Colt flipped off the lights before coming back to bed. He curled up against Kyle's body and wrapped
his arms around him. "I like you watching my ass."
"Does that mean you'll walk around naked more often?"
Colt shook his head as another laugh rumbled through his chest. "Close your eyes and keep
dreaming, love."
Kyle kissed him before relaxing back. "I don't need to dream." His palm rested on Colt's ass. "Not
when I have the real thing right here."
Colt pressed closer, trying not to think about how soon he would be leaving and how much he too
would miss having the real thing in his arms. Closing his eyes, he rested his head against Kyle's chest and
let the steady beat of his heart ease him to sleep.
Kyle stared out over the fans as he sang. He was searching for Colt, but couldn't find him. There
were just too many faces, and with the glare of the stage lights on him, it was already hard enough to see.
He wiped the back of his hand over his forehead, glad that they only had three more songs to go.
Not that he was in any hurry for the night to be over, but he wanted to spend it with Colt. Time had
flown by and tomorrow they would have to say goodbye again. This time was looking like it would be
harder than the last. They had grown so much closer and with them admitting to their feelings and
deciding to really make a go of a relationship, it was as if a knife was being twisted in Kyle's heart each
time he thought about being apart.
As he finished one song and the band played the intro to the other, he caught sight of Colt to the right
of the stage. He tried to keep from staring, but his gaze kept drifting that way.
They promised the others in the band they would go out with them after the show, and Kyle hoped
that tonight he would be able to take that next step and actually act like a couple in public with Colt. It
was the one gift he wanted to give him before he left. The little bit of added security in their relationship
that Kyle was ready to stand up, commit, and do whatever it took to make things work.
He focused on the crowd, always wanting to end the show on an upbeat and started on the last song.
The band played perfectly behind him, and it was one of those nights where Kyle felt like everything was
just falling right into place. He wished that every show went off as well as tonight's was.
Maybe Colt was his good luck charm. He cast another glance toward him and smiled before finishing
the song and thanking the crowd. They left the stage quickly taking the water bottles that the stagehands
offered them as they came down the stairs.
The stage crew was already setting up for the headlining band, and Kyle quickly moved out of the
way as he searched for Colt. He smiled when he saw him step from behind the thick black curtain that
separated the backstage area from the fans.
"You were great." Colt pulled him into a hug and kissed him.
Kyle tensed, but forced himself not to pull away. He was going to make good on his promise to come
out. As the kiss broke he glanced around them to see only one arena usher watching them. He hated the
relief he felt that more hadn't noticed.
"Thanks. Glad it's over but it really went well. Most night don't go that smooth." Kyle stepped back
from Colt's arms but allowed Colt to link their fingers together as they walked toward the dressing room.
He watched the faces of the people they passed in the hallway as he wondered how long it would be
before news got out that he was with Colt.
"I have to admit, I don't know how you do it. I would be a nervous wreck standing in front of all
those people." Colt led him into the dressing room.
They were sharing the dressing room with the others, but Kyle still felt relieved once they were safe
in the room and out of the public eye. "I don't even think about it. I've always been comfortable
performing in front of people."
Carl laughed as he pulled the unlit cigarette from his mouth and stepped aside to give them room.
"Damn right. You used to stand on the benches at little league and sing for everyone and ignore the
game."
"You got photos of him when he was little, Carl?" Colt asked.
Kyle groaned. "No. Nothing."
Carl grinned. "Oh, I bet I could find a few." He stepped toward the door. "You boys pack up. I'm
going to get the bus ready. We leave in fifteen minutes."
"Anyone need help?" Colt offered.
"You want to help me with my drums?" Matt looked up as he took another long drink of water.
"Go help him. I don't have much." Kyle kissed Colt. "I'll be right out."
Colt nodded and turned to follow Matt out.
Kyle watched him go. He enjoyed having Colt with him for his shows. Liked having someone
waiting for him as he came off the stage. Someone to go home with.
"You really like him, don't you?" Luis nudged Kyle with his shoulder.
Kyle's face heated with a blush. "Yeah, I really do. In fact, I love him."
Luis raised a brow. "It's that serious?"
"Yeah. I waited a long time to find the right one. I might have lied to you about waiting for a woman,
but I wasn't lying about waiting for the right one." Kyle raised his gaze to meet Luis's stare. "Colt's the
right one."
Luis shook his head. "I can't believe you hid him from us. Especially at his house. One day you're
going to have to tell me what happened there."
Kyle shoved his hands in his pockets. "You're really okay with this?"
"With you and Colt or just the fact that you're gay?"
"Both."
"I don't know why you were so worried about telling us. I'm happy for you. So are the others. Yeah,
I'm fine with it. He's a good guy. I'm glad it was him and not just some fan. You deserve to be happy."
"I am." Kyle smiled. "Thanks for making this easy."
"It should have never been hard." Luis grabbed his duffle bag off the floor and his guitar. "You
ready?"
Kyle grabbed his own bag from the other side of the room and nodded. "Yeah."
He followed Luis out to the parking lot where the bus was parked. He smiled as he watched Colt
standing with Matt as they loaded the storage area under the buss with their equipment. His chest ached
with a yearning to have Colt continue on tour with them.
The thought of living each day with Colt near, waking up in his arms every morning, and making
love to him every night was as near a perfect life as he ever dreamed of.
Colt reached for his hand as he stepped up beside him. "You guys have a ton of equipment."
Kyle gave his hand a squeeze. "Still need a lot more. We use a lot of the stuff from the arenas and
clubs. Not always top of the line stuff. Sound would be better if we had our own."
"I have no doubt you will be there before you know it. I saw how the crowd reacted to you tonight.
You guys are going to be huge." Colt glanced up as Carl called for them to get going.
Kyle looked at the bus and then back at Colt. For the first time that he could remember, the band
wasn't his priority. He still dreamed of making it big, headlining, and major contracts. But Colt was more
important now. Whatever dreams he might have had before, now had to include Colt. It was just the way
it was.
"Come on. We better not keep him waiting. Besides I need a shower." Kyle tugged on Colt's hand.
"I kinda like you sweaty." Colt reached up and pulled on a lock of Kyle's hair.
"Then let me shower and we can get sweaty all over again after." Kyle glanced over his shoulder as
they stepped on the bus.
"Too much sharing." Tim made his way on the bus and pushed past Colt and Kyle once there was
room. "Don't need to be hearing about your showers."
"You're just jealous Colt will fly out here to see him, and your redhead is still sitting home in
Nebraska," Matt teased.
"I'm thinking of flying her out." Tim reached for a bottle of water from the small fridge. "Anyone
else?"
"I'll take one." Kyle reached out taking the bottle before sitting down on the couch and Colt sat down
beside him. "So is it serious with this girl?" Kyle looked over at Tim.
"I would like it to be. She has trust issues. Thinks just because I'm in a band that I am sleeping with
every girl I meet. Don't know how to convince her I'm not."
Kyle thought back and realized that Tim hadn't been with anyone since leaving Nebraska. He'd
danced with a few, but he hadn't seen him bring one back to the motel at all. "Bring her out. The best way
is for her to see what it's like herself. That it's not all parties and drugs."
"I'm trying to talk her into it." Tim took a seat at the small table with a sigh. "I hate being on the road
some times."
Kyle glanced over at Colt, understanding all too well, what Tim was feeling. At least with Colt he
was here, he would join them on the road from time to time. "If you really like her that much go see her.
Even if it's only for a day. We have plenty of days where you could fly out and get back in time for our
next show."
"I've thought about it. In fact was debating on calling and getting a ticket out tonight if I can. I could
have you drop me off at the airport in the morning when you drop Colt off. I could fly back in time for the
next show in a few days." Tim glanced around as if he expected someone to argue with him.
"Where in Nebraska is she? If it's not too far in I can drive you from Cheyenne where I left my
truck," Colt offered.
"She's in Kimball. I'm not really sure where that is, but she says it's not too far from Wyoming." Tim
rested his arms on the table. "But I don't want to take you out of your way. You're the other direction."
"Hell, Kimball is just over the border. It would be nothing to drop you off there as long as you can
find a way back." Colt rubbed his thumb over the back of Kyle's hand.
Kyle frowned. He wished he could afford the time away and go with them, but he had songs to write
and needed to focus on the band. If he were in Wyoming with Colt, he wouldn't get anything done. He
gave Colt's hand a gentle squeeze.
"You sure, Colt? I don't want to inconvenience you." Tim looked excited despite his words.
"It won't be a problem at all. Only a little out of my way. If she can get you back to the airport, I can
get you to her."
Tim stood as he pulled his phone out of his pocket. "I'm going to give her a call right now and see.
What time's your flight tomorrow?"
Colt pulled his phone out and hit a few buttons before giving him his flight information.
Tim grinned. "Thanks. If I can fly out with you this will be perfect. I'll let you guys know once I talk
to her." He quickly made his way to the back of the bus.
"Thanks." Kyle rested his head against Colt's shoulder. "You didn't need to do that."
Colt shrugged. "I know how it feels to miss someone. If I can help him get to see her, I will do it."
Luis cracked his water bottle between his hands. "What is this? You all going and falling in love on
us? Are Matt and I the only smart ones?"
Kyle could see Luis was teasing and guessed that some of the comments came from jealousy that he
hadn't met anyone yet. Being the most attractive out of all of them, Luis had his share of women, but Kyle
hadn't seen any one serious in Luis's life since high school.
Matt stepped back to where they were sitting. "I don't need the stress. Have you seen how Kyle and
Tim have been? Why would I want to put myself through that?"
"What do you mean how I've been?" Kyle looked up.
"Since you met Colt we can't get you to go out. You hide out in your room. We didn't know why, but
now that we know about Colt, it all makes sense." Matt took a seat beside them.
"I hardly ever went out with you guys." Kyle grinned as he glanced at Colt. "But can you blame me
for wanting to stay in and talk to him instead of going out with you guys?"
"Now we understand why the women never caught your attention." Luis tossed his empty bottle at
Kyle.
Kyle batted it away. "Even if I was into women, I don't know how you guys can be with a different
one every night."
The bus came to a slow stop and Kyle glanced out the window to see the motel.
"Maybe I'm just searching for the right one." Luis winked as he stood and reached for his duffle bag.
Kyle stood and looked down at Colt. "Still want to go out with them tonight?"
"No, but we promised. We don't have to stay long." Colt stood and then reached down to pick up
Kyle's bag. "Let's go get you that shower you wanted."
Kyle nodded. He wanted to get this over, get back to the hotel and be alone with Colt.
Colt took a sip of his beer as he glanced around the small bar. He was glad that they hadn't decided
on a large club. Still, even with the smaller setting, women were already surrounding the table, trying to
get the band to notice them.
Kyle gripped Colt's hand under the table as he politely dismissed all advances the females made
toward him.
Colt found it amusing, but he could tell by the tension in Kyle's body that he didn't enjoy it at all.
"You want to leave?" Colt set his beer down.
Kyle shook his head and gave him a nervous glance. "No. I want to dance."
Colt didn't even try to hide his shock. "Dance?"
Kyle glanced around them. "Yeah. I promised I would slowly start to come out. Might as well start
here, right?"
Colt's heart skipped a beat. "You're sure?"
"Yeah. Now's as good a time as any." Kyle stood, keeping his hand locked with Colt's. "Come dance
with me."
Colt wasn't about to argue. "I would love to." He let Kyle lead him on the dance floor.
It was impossible to miss the stares and the way the conversation around them drifted off as they
passed several tables. Colt tightened his grip on Kyle's hand in support as they stepped on the small dance
floor.
Luis and Matt were already dancing and they smiled over at them as Colt pulled Kyle into his arms
and started to move gently to the song that played.
"Do you enjoy dancing?" Colt wanted to distract Kyle from the stares.
"I'm not very good at it, but I enjoy it." Kyle glanced around them.
"Hey, look at me. Not at everyone else." Colt turned them slowly as his hand brushed over Kyle's
back. "Don't even think about them."
"You see them staring?" Kyle met Colt's gaze for a brief moment and then looked back around the
bar.
"You knew they would. It's a surprise to them. They will get over it. Look at the positive side, none
of the women will bother you anymore." Colt smiled.
"Does it make you jealous when they do?"
"No. I know you're not interested. If it was another man asking you to dance, I might be a bit
jealous."
"No other men will ask me."
"Maybe not tonight, but once word gets out they will."
The music ended and another slow song started. The stares were less now, but still enough to notice.
Kyle seemed to relax as they continued to move across the floor. Colt wanted to brush his lips over Kyle's
cheek, but he figured that might be taking it a bit far so soon.
"Thank you for this." Colt rested his chin on Kyle's shoulder as he spoke in a low voice.
"I wasn't sure I would find the nerve." Kyle glanced around them again. "I was thinking about it all
day."
Colt frowned. "It shouldn't be something you stress over."
"I know, and from now on I won't. I just had to get over the first time, right?"
Colt wished it were that easy. "We will get through all the firsts together."
When the song ended, Colt led them from the floor. If he had his way, he would have kept Kyle out
there dancing all night, but he didn't want to overwhelm him too much the first time. The stares and
whispers around them were easy to see. Colt met each stare with his own confident gaze as he tightened
his grip on Kyle's hand.
Kyle slid back into the booth and let out a heavy breath.
"I love you." Colt sat down beside him.
Kyle smiled. "I love you, too. I can't help wondering when I turn on my laptop later that there will be
a million photos of us all over social media."
Colt hadn't thought about that. It would only take one or two pictures to go viral to out Kyle to the
whole world. He wasn't used to thinking in those terms. In his little world, no one would have given a
thought to who he danced with, but in Kyle's world, it was big news.
Colt glanced around and sure enough saw several people pointing their phones toward them. "Maybe
I should kiss you and give them something to really talk about."
Kyle became very serious, his eyes flashing with something Colt didn't understand. "Good idea."
Kyle leaned in and shocked Colt by kissing him. It was a soft kiss, just a brush of their lips, but it was
enough to gather several gasps from those around them, and Colt saw several flashes and knew there were
going to be even more photos.
He reached up and cupped Kyle's face before he could pull back. "Feeling brave tonight?" He kissed
him once more before dropping his hands and pulling back a bit.
"Just tired of running from it. I want this, and I am tired of dreading what is going to happen. Now
it's out and everyone will know. At least now I will know what the fallout will be." Kyle shrugged and
reached back for his beer.
"You two know how to cause a stir. I just had six women come ask me if you two are dating." Luis
slid into the other side of the booth.
Kyle's head snapped up. "What did you tell them?"
"That you were sleeping with one of the promoters to get us a better tour schedule." Luis reached for
his beer, looking dead serious.
"You what?" Kyle's eyes went wide.
Luis laughed. "I told them to ask you. But do you think sleeping with a promoter might help?" He
looked thoughtful for a moment.
Colt grinned as he tossed a fry from the plate in front of him at Luis. "You better be asking for
yourself, because Kyle is mine."
Luis picked the fry up off the table and plucked it in his mouth. "Hey if it's a female and it gets us a
few bigger gigs, I'm game."
"You're such a slut you would do it even if it didn't help the band." Kyle reached for Colt's hand, this
time resting them on the table instead of under it.
"So I like sex. Who doesn't?" Luis pointed to Colt's uneaten fries. "You going to finish those?"
"Nope. All yours." Colt lifted the plate to him. "Kyle and I are going to head out in a few, spend
some time alone since I leave in the morning."
"Anyone seen Tim? He decided if he's flying out with you?" Luis reached for the ketchup.
"Carl talked to him. Said it wasn't final yet, and that he and Tim weren't coming with us. Not sure
what's up," Kyle said.
"I'm trying to remember this chic, but can't." Luis finished his beer.
"You were too busy with the twins that night." Kyle rolled his eyes.
"Oh yeah, the twins." Luis got a dreamy look on his face. "They were good enough to go back for.
Maybe I should join Tim."
Colt shook his head. "You keep dreaming about your twins. I have a surprise for Kyle, so we are
going to head out." Colt stood.
"A surprise?" Kyle stood beside him and tossed some bills on the table. "What?"
"Something you asked for one night on the phone. You will see soon enough." Colt reached for
Kyle's hand. "See you in the morning, Luis."
"Night, guys." Luis waved.
Once outside Kyle turned to face Colt, walking backward down the sidewalk. "So you going to tell
me?"
"Tell you what?" Colt grinned.
"What my surprise is."
"It's five minutes to the motel. You can wait that long."
Kyle turned and took Colt's hand in his as he fell back into step beside him. "Give me a hint."
"We talked about it on the phone."
"I already got that much."
Colt shook his head. "I'm not telling you more. You can wait." He loved teasing Kyle and hoped that
he would enjoy what he had planned for their last night together.
"Is it going to hurt?"
"Not a bit."
"Damn." Kyle laughed.
"Just be patient, we're almost there." Colt could see the lights of the motel just up the block. "You
feeling okay after everything?"
"Yeah. I admit I'm a bit nervous about what the media exposure will be. We really aren't that big to
make headlines, but still, I just don't want any fallout on the rest of the band." Kyle pulled his room key
from his pocket.
"There shouldn't be any. This is about you and me. Not the band or the music. If anything people will
look you up to hear what you guys play and you might get new fans from it."
"I hope so. People looked shocked tonight, but not upset." Colt stopped in front of the motel room
door.
Kyle unlocked the door and they went inside, relocking the door behind them.
"Okay we are here. What's my surprise?"
"You don't give up, do you?" Colt reached for his overnight bag and set it on the bed. He rummaged
around in it for a moment before finding what he was looking for. He turned to Kyle before pulling it out.
"If you were just joking and don't want to do this, we don't have to. The choice is yours." He pulled out a
small video camera and held it up for Kyle to see.
Kyle stared in shock for a moment and then nodded. "I was serious."
The mood in the room suddenly changed as they stared at each other. Colt set the camera on the bed
and stepped toward Kyle. "I want something to watch when we are on the phone or when I'm alone and
can't talk to you. We can make a new one every time we are together."
Kyle hooked his fingers in Colt's belt loops. "You will download a copy to my laptop before you
go?"
"Yes." Colt nipped at Kyle's lip. "Where should I put the camera?"
Kyle looked around the room. "On the dresser I guess, facing the bed."
Colt pulled back and reached for the camera and set it up, making sure that it was in focus and aimed
right for where they would be. Stepping back toward Kyle he slid his arms around him and pulled him
close. "I've never made a video before."
"Me neither." Kyle slid his hands under Colt's shirt and up his chest. "Move in front of the camera. I
want everything on it."
Colt backed up, taking Kyle with him until they stood at the foot of the bed. He dipped his head,
catching Kyle's mouth with his own for a long kiss as he slid his hands under Kyle's shirt. He pulled back
only long enough to lift it from his head before bringing his mouth back down to Kyle's.
Kyle moaned into his mouth as he worked Colt's pants undone and eased his hands in to the sides of
them and pushed them lower. Once again, they broke the kiss to pull Colt's shirt off before coming right
back together.
Kyle trembled under Colt's touch and he hoped that the video would pick it up. Colt wanted to
remember all of this. His fingers worked at the button on Kyle's pants and when he had them undone, he
pulled back and lowered to his knees. He glanced up at Kyle briefly before he reached up and slid the
pants down Kyle's legs. He pulled off his shoes and socks before Kyle stepped out of them, and Colt
tossed them aside.
Kyle was already hard and Colt licked at the head of Kyle's cock teasingly, flicking his tongue
against the tiny hole. Kyle's hands were already combing through Colt's hair as he stared down at him.
Colt licked his lips, then took Kyle into his mouth, sliding his lips down the thick shaft, and then
back up again. He closed his eyes as he continued the rhythm, enjoying the way Kyle's fingers tightened
in his hair. He tried to forget about the camera on them, wanting this to be as natural as it could. He
wanted to remember them together, not them acting out a video.
His tongue circled the ridges of Kyle's cock and he worked his hand over his balls, teasing over
them. The gentle rocking of Kyle's hips only increased his own excitement and he glanced up to see Kyle
with his head tossed back, eyes closed, and lips parted as he enjoyed the attention that Colt was showing
his cock.
Colt slid his hand back and parted Kyle's ass, rubbing his hand through his crack before pressing a
finger against his hole. He didn't push inside. He wanted to wait for that, but he wanted the extra
stimulation to bring Kyle as close to the edge as he could.
After several minutes more of lavishing his cock, Colt pulled back. "Bend over the bed. Let me taste
your ass." Colt turned Kyle until his knees met the end of the bed. "Brace your hands on the bed and give
me your ass."
Kyle didn't object. He did as he was told, glancing over his shoulder at Colt and then at the camera.
Colt parted Kyle's ass with his hands before licking up the crack and then hooking one arm around
Kyle's waist. He pushed his face forward and started to lick, and tease over his hole, sucking and then
flicking his tongue over the sensitive skin.
The moans coming from Kyle grew louder as Colt pressed his tongue harder against him, slowly
parting him and pushing inside. Kyle dropped his head to the bed and reached back with his hands,
holding his ass apart as Colt worked his mouth over it.
Colt reached up and found Kyle's cock, stroking it tightly in his fist. The head wept pre-cum and he
smoothed it down the shaft to ease the way for his hand. His own cock pressed hard against his thigh and
jerked as he thought about fucking Kyle in just a moment.
Remembering the camera behind him, Colt pulled back and used his finger to slip inside Kyle's ass.
He made sure to move aside so they caught the action on camera. He wanted the memory of all of this on
tape.
His finger slid deep and he started to fuck him harder with his finger and then two fingers. Spreading
him wide so he could see exactly where his cock wanted to be.
Unable to hold back any longer, Colt rose up. "Get on the bed." He nudged Kyle forward.
Kyle crawled up on the bed, staying on his hands and knees.
"No. I want to face you. I want to see you when we make love."
Kyle turned and rolled to his back, spreading his legs as he lifted his hand to Colt. His long dark hair
fell over his shoulders and he shook his head to force it back. "I keep thinking about the camera."
"Me, too, but I plan on making you forget everything very soon." Colt took his cock in one hand as
he moved onto the bed and pushed Kyle's legs farther apart.
"You think you can?" Kyle grinned.
"I'm going to try." Colt hooked his arms under Kyle's legs and pushed them back toward his chest,
and then released one leg so he could angle his cock against Kyle's ass.
Kyle stared up at him and blinked, his brown eyes speaking to Colt in a way words never could. He
gazed back, hoping that he held the same emotion in his eyes. That through the way he looked and
touched Kyle, he would know just how much Colt cared.
As he pressed forward he watched Kyle hold his breath, he smiled down at him as he felt Kyle part
and his cock slowly slide inside him. As much as his body screamed for him to take him hard and find his
release, Colt stilled and savored the feel of Kyle beneath him.
He bent forward, covering Kyle's body with his own as he kissed him. His hands brushed up and
down Kyle's legs. "I never thought I would love again. You have brought something into my life I thought
was gone. I love you, Kyle."
Kyle reached up, placing both his hands on Colt's cheeks. "I waited my life for you, Colt. I never
thought I would find the one and then suddenly, there you were. I love you."
Colt pressed his cheek to Kyle's palm before bending forward and kissing him again. He gently
started to move his hips back and forth as they kissed. It was slow and easy, both of them touching and
caressing the other as they worked their bodies together.
Colt tried not to think about leaving in the morning, but with each thrust, and each gasp from Kyle, it
only made him realize how much he would miss Kyle. Colt forced the thoughts from his head and
focused on Kyle and bringing them both as much pleasure as he could.
His cock stretched Kyle and his skin stuck to him as their stomachs pressed against each other, never
breaking eye contact as the thrusts increased. Kyle reached between them and worked his own cock as
Colt sat back on his heels and took Kyle harder.
The sound of his balls smacking against Kyle filled the room, mixed with their gasps and breathing.
Kyle brushed one hand down Colt's chest as his other continued to work over his cock. Colt's cock ached
as he glanced down and watched the way it slid in and out of Kyle's ass. His balls grew heavier and he
fought back the pending orgasm, not wanting it to end.
Kyle appeared to be doing the same. His head arched back, his lips parted, and a groan escaped him
as his hips rocked against Colt and his own fist. His breath caught and without warning, Kyle's body
stiffened and tensed as streams of cum shot from his cock and fell over his stomach.
A growl of pleasure rumbled through Colt's chest as he reached down and smeared the wet mess
over Kyle's chest before lifting his hand to his own mouth and licking the creamy substance from his
fingers.
His hips never stopped moving as he took Kyle hard. Kyle's body still trembled around him and Colt
focused on the feeling of Kyle's ass tightening around him. It didn't take more than a few thrusts before
his grip tightened on Kyle's legs and he sank his cock deep one last time as his cock exploded and filled
Kyle with his release.
The two of them stared at each other with hooded eyes, both breathing heavy as they recovered. Colt
pulled slowly from Kyle, fell to the bed beside him, and wrapped one arm around his chest.
Kyle turned his head, kissed Colt's jaw as he settled his legs back to the bed, and stretched. "I'm
quitting the band."
"You are not." Colt laughed.
"I want to. I don't want you to go."
"It won't be long until I see you again. We will make sure we see each other at least once a month."
"It's not enough."
"No it's not."
They fell silent. Colt wanted to spend every day with Kyle, but he wasn't going to bring it up and
make things harder for the two of them. He didn't want Kyle to give up his career to be with him, even if
it meant suffering a bit by being apart.
Kyle rolled over and stood, going to the camera and turning it off. He glanced at the bed and grinned.
"Let me get us a towel and then we can see what it looks like."
"Grab your laptop and I will download it for you, that way we both have copies." Colt sat up and
moved back on the bed to lean against the wall.
Kyle returned with a towel for each of them and sat down beside him. "Think you will watch it a
lot?"
"Nightly."
"Me, too. At least when I can. It's hard sharing a room with Carl all the time."
Colt wiped off his cock and balls before tossing the towel aside as he watched Kyle wipe between
his own legs and over his stomach.
"I promise to watch it enough for both of us."
Kyle handed him the camera and then sat down beside him. "If we make a new one every time we
get together it will give us a huge collection in time."
"Just don't go letting any of this get out. I don't want to see us on those celebrity sites." Colt elbowed
Kyle in the side playfully.
"Speaking of, I wanted to look and see if anyone posted pics of us yet." Kyle booted up his laptop.
"Does it bother you if they are?"
"Not really. I'm nervous about what fans will say about us, but it doesn't bother me." Kyle hit several
keys on the laptop and searched for his name. "Yep, there they are." He turned the screen for Colt to see.
Sure enough, there were several pictures of the two of them from the bar. "I like this one." Colt
pointed to one of the two of them kissing. "I might have to copy some of these off so I have them. I didn't
even think about looking you up online. I would have had a ton of photos to get me through the time
apart."
"Most are from concerts, not the best. I will have to get you some good ones. But I want some in
return." Kyle scrolled through several more pictures.
"I don't remember the last pictures I had taken."
"Then it's time for me to take some." He pointed to one picture. "Look. Kyle Jorgensen and sexy
male. Is there something we don't know?" He read the caption under the photo. "And this one. Kyle, lead
singer of Rapture gay?"
Colt read a couple others. "Doesn't seem like anyone is upset. Just curious."
"I hope it stays that way. It has only been an hour or so. By morning it will be all over the place."
"And we will deal with any fallout together." Colt pushed the laptop back on Kyle's lap and started to
work on the camera. He connected it to Kyle's computer and hit play.
"Oh wow. Look at us." Kyle's face reddened.
"Why are you blushing?" Colt kissed his cheek.
"I've never seen myself like that. I'm a bit exposed."
Colt laughed. "Yes you are. I can see all of you. I will remember all of it each time I watch it."
"Me, too. I can almost feel your tongue against my ass just watching it." Kyle leaned closer to Colt.
"Good, that's what I want. I want you to be able to remember everything when we are apart."
Kyle looked over at Colt. "I couldn't forget, even without the video."
"It won't be long. I promise. I will come out and see you again soon."
The video played unwatched as they stared at each other. "I know. I will fly out even if it's just for a
night. If I didn't have so much to catch up on, I would be flying out with you in the morning."
"Next month I will start to get busy. March and April are my busiest months on the ranch, but I
promise we'll find time." Colt brushed his hand over Kyle's thigh.
"I can come to you. Help on the ranch. I want to learn."
"What do you want to learn?" Colt bent to him and kissed him.
"Everything you can teach me." Kyle pushed the computer to the side of the bed, turned toward Colt,
and pressed his body closer.
"I have a few lessons we can start with now." Colt wondered if he would ever get enough of the man
in his arms.
"Teach me."
Kyle sat at the back of the bus with his notebook on his lap. His feet propped up on the couch as he
stared at the blank page in front of him. He needed to write, figure out a couple more songs for the new
album, but unlike a couple months ago when he couldn't write a ballad to save his life, now it was all he
could come up with. The heavy rock songs now seemed to elude him.
He tried to bring himself into a different mindset, focusing on what he would be feeling if he and
Colt broke up or if one cheated on the other, but it just wasn't working. He only wanted to write about
love and sex.
He reached behind him and untied his hair, letting it drop around his shoulders with a shake of his
head. It was only two days ago Colt left but it felt like forever. Tim had caught the flight with him and
Kyle found himself jealous of his band mate getting to spend the extra time with Colt.
"Hey." Matt took a seat in the chair across from him. "Got anything good?" He nodded at the
notebook.
"Nothing. I'm blank. We need something hard and I just can't find it."
Matt looked nervous as he pulled a folded piece of paper out of the back pocket of his jeans. "You
know I don't write really well, but I had an idea. I wrote this. I was hoping you might be able to do
something with it."
Kyle reached over, taking the paper from him and unfolded it. He read for a moment and then
glanced up at Matt who was looking down at his feet, his long brown hair hanging over his face. "This is
good. It has a lot of potential. We need to make it a bit longer, but you have the chorus in there. I think
this will work." Already he was working out ideas in his head.
"You think so?" Matt grinned.
"Yeah. I know you hate writing, but you really got something here." The song was based on
watching your best friend fall in love while you are left behind, and the anger and jealousy one felt at
being nearly forgotten. "This about Tim?" Everyone knew the two were closer friends than the rest of
them.
"Yeah a bit. It's not a big deal really, just since he met Trisha he hasn't been himself. I miss him."
Matt reached for a pillow left on the couch and shoved it behind his head.
"Have you told him?" Kyle wondered if he had been ignoring the others the same way.
"No. I'm letting him work this out. Hopefully once he gets it figured out he will come around."
"You should —" His cell phone rang, cutting him off. "Hello?"
Kyle's eyes went wide as he heard who it was. He sat up straighter and tossed the notebook aside as
he listened.
Matt watched him curiously, sitting up in his seat.
Kyle was smiling ear to ear as he reached out and slapped Matt's leg, giving him a thumbs up. "Yes,
we look forward to it. We will make sure our schedule is clear. Thank you. Yes, I will get with you if
anything changes."
Matt stared at him. "Who was that?"
"We just got another six weeks added to our tour in July." Kyle told him. His heart beat so hard he
was sure Carl could hear it up at the front of the bus.
"Six weeks?" Matt frowned. "That's a lot of touring without a break. We are supposed to start the
album in June."
"I know, but we are going to have to push that back. We can't pass this up. We will be headlining for
Shattered Dreams." Kyle laughed excitedly as he said the words.
"Holy shit. Are you serious?" Matt stood, the pillow dropping to the floor. "Don't do this to me. You
can't fuck with me like this."
"No shit man, I'm not kidding. That was the promoter calling to ask if we were interested. We will be
on tour with Shattered Dreams for six weeks." Kyle stood and hugged Matt. "We finally did it. We finally
hit big time."
Matt stared at him, still looking like he didn't believe him. "Serious."
"Dead fucking serious."
"Oh my God."
"I know." Kyle dropped his phone on the couch. "Luis!" He called up to the front of the bus where
Luis sat with Carl as he drove.
"What?" Luis hollered back.
"You tell him." Kyle started up to the front of the bus with Matt following close behind.
Carl and Luis glanced at them as they stood behind the front bucket seats.
"You boys getting into trouble?" Carl tapped an ash off his cigarette.
"Oh yeah. The best kind." Kyle grinned. "Tell them."
Matt smiled. "What would you say if I said we are going to tour with Shattered Dreams?"
"I would say keep dreaming." Luis looked at the two of them.
"Aren't they that band that is number one on the charts right now? Played halftime at the Super
Bowl?" Carl asked.
"Yeah that's them." Matt nodded. "Serious, Luis. We are touring with them for six weeks in July.
Kyle just got the call."
Luis looked back and forth between them. "Really?"
Kyle nodded. "We start in Memphis and go from there."
Carl looked back at them for a quick moment. "Congratulations, boys, you've finally made it."
Luis jumped up and grabbed Matt by the shoulders. "You two aren't messing with me?"
"No. I was there when he got the call." Matt held up his hands as if swearing it true.
"Do you know how big this is?" Luis pulled Kyle and Matt into a three-way hug. "This is what we
have dreamt of from day one."
Kyle closed his eyes enjoying the excitement. He had started to doubt they would ever get past
playing smaller arenas and clubs. To now be playing major arenas and touring with one of the most
popular bands of the year was a dream come true. He couldn't wait to tell Colt.
He stepped back from the other two and glanced out the window. "Where are we, Carl?"
"Just getting into Phoenix. Should pull into the motel in about a half hour. I need to pick up Tim
from the airport in about three hours." Carl reached for his water.
"I'll wait to call Colt until we get there. I can't wait to tell Tim. He is going to freak."
"I want to tell him." Matt glanced at the others. "Do you guys mind if I go with Carl and give him the
news?"
"No. It should come from you." Kyle gave Matt's shoulder a squeeze. "I'm going to go work on that
piece you gave me. If things keep going our way, this new album could be our biggest yet." He turned and
headed back to the couch, ready to put their career back to the front of his priorities and quit worrying
about things he couldn't control. Like when he would get to see Colt again.
Colt kicked his boot against the side of the porch as he tried to loosen the mud from it. What a
difference a couple months made. He smiled remembering the large winter storm that brought Kyle into
his life. Things were sure different now as the snow melted, leaving a muddy mess throughout his ranch.
He slipped his feet from the boots, leaving them on the porch to dry. Mud covered the cuffs of his
pants and brushed over his white socks as he stepped into the house.
Colt headed upstairs to change, wondering why Kyle hadn't called yet today. He knew they were on
the road headed for Houston, but it was rare that Kyle didn't call several times throughout the day.
When they talked the night before, they had talked about planning another trip. It had been almost
two months since Colt had traveled to Seattle to see him. Phone calls just weren't cutting it anymore. Colt
needed to hold him.
He didn't blame Kyle for not coming. With everything that had been going on with the band and the
rigorous tour schedule, he understood it was hard for Kyle to get away. Colt had his hands full with the
ranch. He'd tried to sneak a few days off, but hadn't been able to do it. Now that April was almost over
and things were slowing down a bit, he was finally able to plan.
Hungry, he quickly finished changing and made his way down to the kitchen, pulling out a TV
dinner, too lazy to cook anything big tonight. He tossed it in the microwave and turned to look out the
window. The sun was just starting to set and shadows played over the muddy and wet land behind his
house.
Another glance at the clock and he started to worry again. It was pushing seven. He pulled out his
phone to check to see if he missed Kyle's call, but there was nothing. Punching a few buttons, he called
Kyle's phone. When the voicemail picked up without even ringing, he frowned as the uneasy feeling in
his gut grew stronger.
"Hey, love. Just calling to make sure everything is okay. Give me a call anytime. I'm starting to
worry." Colt ended the call and tossed his phone on the counter.
The insecure part of him wondered if Kyle was ignoring him, but there had been no sign that Kyle
had changed how he felt. The two of them talked nightly and it was still as good as it had been the day
they met. Or at least Colt thought it was.
He had Tim's number in his phone, but wasn't sure he should call him. If this was just Kyle ignoring
him, he didn't want to drag the rest of the band into their problems. He brushed his hand through his dark
hair, pushing it back from his forehead. He sighed as he told himself he was being stupid for thinking
there were problems. Kyle and he had never even disagreed much less had a relationship ending
argument.
As he pulled his dinner from the microwave and set it on a plate, he grabbed a fork and went to sit in
front of the TV and try not to worry. He was sure Kyle was just busy. Houston was a huge stop for them
and was set to last four nights. He probably got caught up in setting up.
Colt flipped through the channels, finally deciding on some rerun on the History Channel he'd seen a
couple times. He took a bite of his dinner and frowned at the tasteless flavor. His own fault for being too
lazy to cook.
He'd just tossed away most of his dinner when his phone rang. He raced to the counter to grab it,
hitting talk without even looking at the screen. "Hello?"
His stomach tightened when it wasn't Kyle on the other line.
"Hey, Colt. It's Tim."
Colt frowned at the tone of his voice. "Hey, Tim. What's up?"
There was a long pause and Colt almost wondered if they lost the connection.
"There's been an accident. A semi hit the tour bus as we were headed into Houston."
Colt gripped the counter and lowered himself to the stool beside him. "How bad?"
"Kyle's in surgery. He got the worst of it. His leg was crushed, we don't know yet how bad."
Colt let out a long breath. He was alive, that was all that mattered. "Everyone else?"
"Just banged up. Luis broke his arm, and a couple ribs. Carl needed a few stitches and sprained his
wrist, but Matt and I just have some bumps and bruises."
"What hospital?" Colt was already reaching for a piece of paper to write stuff down.
"Methodist Hospital. I'll know more once he is out of surgery." Tim sighed. "I'm sorry, Colt."
"Don't be. It's not your fault. I'm glad it wasn't worse. I'm going to book a flight and head out now. I
should be there by morning if I can get flights. I'll get a rental and meet you at the hospital as soon as I
can. Can you call me once he's out of surgery and let me know what is going on?" Colt reached for the
phone book and started looking for the airlines phone number.
"Yeah. You have my number right?"
"Yep, still have it. I might be in and out of service for a while until I get to Texas, but leave me a
message if I don't answer. Thanks for calling me, Tim." Colt rubbed his hand over his eyes, trying not to
worry.
"Sorry it wasn't sooner, I will call as soon as I know anything. See you soon, Colt." Tim sounded
more worried than Colt thought he should and wondered what he wasn't telling him.
"Thanks. Bye." He hung up and immediately dialed in the airlines and started making arrangements
to fly out.
Colt had his bag packed, and was pulling out of the ranch yard within twenty minutes. His ranch
hands promised to take care of things. As much as he hated leaving the work for them, there was nothing
that would keep him from being at Kyle's side.
He hated that it would take him hours to get to Houston. He had a slight layover in Salt Lake, but he
would arrive in Houston early morning.
As he pressed down on the gas pedal, he prayed that Kyle would be okay.
Kyle woke to the sound of voices, but his eyelids were like steel and didn't want to open. He turned
his head toward the sounds, and licked at his dry lips.
"I think he's awake." The voice belonged to Carl.
"Kyle?" Tim's voice sounded distant.
Kyle licked at his lips again and swallowed. His throat was sore as he tried to cough. Pain shot
through his head and he moaned.
"You hurting?" Carl asked.
A hand settled over his, and Kyle turned it over to link fingers with whomever it was, hoping it
would somehow help pull him from the haze in his mind. He tried again to open his eyes, ignoring the
pain. Once his vision started to clear, he noticed Carl's worried face looking down at him. "Hey. Got a
headache from hell." He lifted his hand to his head and noticed the IV running from his hand. "What
happened?"
The confusion pulled him farther out of his sleepy state. He glanced around the room and realized he
was in the hospital. Matt and Tim stood back against the wall, watching him. He tried to push up so he
could sit, but his body screamed in protest and he collapsed back down.
"Easy. There was an accident. Semi t-boned the bus." Carl reached behind him and moved the pillow
so Kyle sat a bit higher.
Kyle looked around the room again as Carl's words hit him. "Luis?"
"In the room down the hall. He broke a few ribs and his arm. They are keeping him overnight, but he
will be fine." Tim stepped closer to the bed.
Kyle lifted his hand to his head, feeling a gauze bandage against his temple. "My head?"
"Yeah, you took a couple good hits to the head. They had to shave your head to get you stitched up.
You'll hurt for a while. I'll see if they can give you something for the pain." Carl frowned and bit at his lip
as if he was worried about something else.
Kyle rubbed his hand over his eyes. "My hair?"
"It will grow back, don't worry about it." Matt moved to the other side of his bed.
"What else?" Kyle didn't feel pain anywhere else.
Carl took a deep breath and tightened his grip on his hand. "Kyle, when the bus tipped, your leg was
crushed. They spent hours in surgery trying to save it, but there was too much damage."
Kyle stared at him a moment trying to understand what he was saying. Once he did, he glanced down
the bed at his blanket-covered body. Everything looked normal. His heart started to pound harder as he
really looked at the blankets. One leg went all the way down, the other only half way before the blanket
fell down against the bed.
Panic stirred inside him as he gripped the blanket and threw it back and gasped. "Fuck this."
The sight of the large bandaged nub at the end of his knee cause his stomach to turn and he gagged
once before turning his head and vomiting off the side of the bed. The pain in his head became blinding as
his stomach cramped again and he once again threw up.
"Okay, let's clear out, give him a moment," a female voice called.
Kyle was too busy fighting off another wave of nausea to look up. "Carl," he gasped between gags
as dry heaves hit him.
"I'm here, Kyle. I won't leave you."
Kyle tried to catch his breath as he wiped the back of his hand over his mouth. The stench of his
vomit reached his nose and almost brought on another wave of nausea. "My leg…" Kyle realized that half
the wetness on his face came from tears.
"I know. It will be okay. They didn't have a choice. There was too much damage. It will take some
getting used to, but we will get you back to normal as soon as we can." The slight shake to Carl's voice
caused Kyle to wonder if this was true.
"Let's get you cleaned up." The nurse wiped a warm cloth over Kyle's face.
"How could you let them take my leg?" Kyle ignored the nurse as she worked and looked over at
Carl.
"There was no choice, Kyle. It was that or let you die." Carl reached for his hand again.
"I'd rather die." Kyle pulled his hand back as he glanced down at his bandaged leg again. Panic once
again washed through him as he stared the thick end of his leg that now ended just below the knee. He
tried to lift his leg but it felt like a thousand pound weight held it to the bed.
"Don't talk like that Kyle. You would have done the same thing for any of us if you had to. We didn't
have a choice. I swear if there was any other way we would have done it." Carl blinked back tears in his
eyes.
"Bullshit. You wouldn't live like this." Kyle lifted his shoulder as the nurse started to pull the sheet
from under it and fold it under his body.
"I'm going to roll you to one side and then the other. Will take just a second to get you cleaned up."
She worked quickly.
Kyle didn't care what she did. Nothing mattered now. His career was over. His life was over.
Without his leg, there was no way he could perform or tour as he needed to.
"Colt's on his way. He should be here anytime." Carl sat down in the chair beside the bed.
"Shit. You told him?" Kyle's heart ached. He couldn't let Colt see him like this. It was as good as
over between them. Colt wouldn't want him now.
"Only that you've been in an accident, not about the leg," Carl said.
"Call and tell him not to come." Kyle closed his eyes and sighed. "I don't want to see him."
"Kyle, he's worried about you. He will be here in minutes, I can't tell him not to come. He loves you.
Let him help you through this."
"I don't need help. Just tell him to go away."
"No." Carl was suddenly at his side. "You want him to leave, you will tell him. I won't. You are
being stupid. I know this is a shock for you, but you aren't going to treat people like shit because of it."
Kyle opened his eyes and stared up at Carl. "Just leave me alone."
"For now." Carl met his stare with his own hard gaze. "I'll be back later once you have had time to
get used to this."
"I won't."
"You will." Carl patted his thigh. "I love you, Kyle. We will get you through this."
Kyle bit his lip and watched Carl walk out of the room. He let out a sigh as the nurse tucked a clean
pillow behind his head.
"How's your pain?" She checked his IV.
"My head hurts." Kyle stared down at his leg again.
"Leg doesn't?" The nurse poured a glass of water and put it on the tray beside his bed.
"No. Can't feel a damn thing down there."
"Don't drink a lot of water until your stomach eases, just sips. I will let the doctor know you are
awake." She raised the side rails on the bed, causing Kyle to feel like a child. "No getting up. It will take
some time to get used to things."
"I'm not going anywhere." Kyle would be just fine if he stayed right here the rest of his life. Not like
he could do anything else.
He watched the nurse leave and another wave of panic hit him. His pulse raced as he glanced down
at his leg. He tried again to move it, but it was like dead weight. He tried to move the good leg and found
it also too heavy to move. Figuring it was an after effect from surgery, he pushed up with his arms, once
again trying to sit up. His body ached, and muscles screamed, but he managed to sit up enough that the
pillow fell awkwardly down his back to sit at the base of his spine.
"Great." He sighed. Nothing was going right, but he would be damned if he would ask for help. His
head pounded as he attempted to grab the pillow from behind him and get it back behind his head.
Why the fuck wouldn't his body cooperate with him? He blinked back tears of anger and frustration.
He didn't need this. Just when his career was taking off, just when he had fallen in love, and for once in
his life everything was right, it all collapsed and now everything was wrong.
He fell back, leaving the damn pillow where it sat. He could hear Carl and the others talking just
outside the room. He wished they would just leave. It was his fault the band would now fail. They would
all blame him that they couldn't play.
He reached down rubbing his hand over the thigh of his injured leg. Even the thigh was swollen. He
stretched his hand and tried to rub the bandages at the end of his knee, but couldn't reach. The sight of his
leg disgusted him. He swiped at a stray tear that fell. How could he ever do anything again with just one
leg?
Closing his eyes, he slumped back with the uncomfortable pillow feeling like a brick against his
back. There was no point in trying. Everything was over. He pictured the men sitting on street corners in
their wheelchairs begging for money and cringed as he thought about his future or lack thereof.
Colt made his way inside the hospital and to the information desk. After being up all night flying and
then fighting rush hour traffic to make his way to the hospital, he was about out of patience. He just
wanted to get to Kyle and make sure he was okay.
Tim had left a message that Kyle was out of surgery and in a private room, but Colt got the feeling
that Tim hadn't told him everything. The message was short and hesitant, as if he hadn't wanted to make
the call. Colt needed to see for himself that Kyle was okay.
Once he had the room number Kyle was in, he headed toward the elevator and punched the up
button. Seconds felt like hours as he waited for the doors to open. He shifted restlessly as he waited.
When the door finally opened, he was relieved to be alone and hit the button for the fourth floor.
The bright lights of the hallway greeted him as he stepped off and turned down the long lime green
hallway. He caught sight of Carl, Tim and Matt standing in the hall outside one room and rushed toward
them.
"Is he okay?" Colt didn't like the worry on Carl's face as he approached.
"He will be." Carl sighed. "Let's talk before you see him. There's something you need to know and I
don't want you going in there until you do."
Colt's gut churned again. He didn't like how this sounded. All he wanted was to see Kyle, he didn't
care what shape he was in, but Carl wouldn't stop him from going in if it wasn't something important.
"Sure, what's up?"
Carl motioned him away from the door he assumed was Kyle's and down the hall a bit. "They
operated on his leg. The damage was really severe and…" Carl looked away as if unable to face Colt.
"They had to amputate his leg below the knee."
"Shit." Colt reached out and placed a hand on the wall to steady himself. It was bad, but he was alive
and that was what was important. Kyle could get by with losing his leg. It would just make things a little
harder. "How's he taking it? He knows right?"
Carl nodded as he reached out and touch Colt's arm. "He didn't take it well. Got physically sick,
kicked us all out of the room. I don't know what you're about to walk in on. The nurse said when she
brought him his pain pills he was just lying there, staring at the ceiling."
"Does he know I'm here?"
"I told him you were on your way." Carl shook his head. "He told me to tell you to go home. He
didn't want to see you. I told him he could tell you himself."
Colt frowned as his chest burned as if a sword had sliced through his heart. "He didn't want to see
me?"
"Don't take it personal. He's having a hard time dealing right now. I think he's embarrassed and
doesn't want to face you." Carl gave Colt's arm a squeeze and let go. "I don't know what to tell you to
expect when you walk in there."
Colt shook his head. He couldn't understand why Kyle wouldn't want to see him. The only reason
would be was he was ashamed or embarrassed. Colt sighed. "Thanks for letting me know. Guessing if he
kicked you out, it may not go much better for me." He ran his hand through his hair, moved back, stepped
around Carl, and entered the room prepared for anything.
"Hey" Colt kept his eyes on Kyle's face as he walked into the room. He wasn't prepared for the
shaved head. He tried to hide his surprise, not wanting to make Kyle anymore uncomfortable than he was.
"Shit. I told them to tell you not to come." Kyle shifted in the bed as he looked away. "Go home,
Colt. I'm fine."
The words hurt, but Colt reminded himself that Kyle had been through a major shock and hoped he
didn't mean what he said. "I wanted to be here with you." Colt stepped to the side of the bed.
Kyle shook his head. "I don't want you here."
"Why not? I love you. Where else should I be?"
"I don't want this between us anymore. It's over."
It was as if someone had punched him in the stomach. All the air left his lungs and he clutched the
side of the bed tighter. "What is going on, Kyle? This accident changes nothing. I still love you and still
want us together."
"Well I don't." Kyle rolled to his side.
"Don't shut me out, Kyle. Pull this shit with the others, but not me." Colt reached out and tried to
grasp Kyle's hand only to be shrugged off. He reached out and grasped his arm instead. "You were fine
when we talked two nights ago. This is because of the accident, isn't it?"
Kyle tried to shrug away again but Colt refused to let his arm go.
"I love you, Kyle. I don't just walk away."
"Go, Colt. I don't want us anymore. I just want to be left alone, okay."
"Because you lost your leg?"
"I didn't lose it. The bastards took it."
"To save your life."
"So they say."
Colt had to remind himself how new this was to Kyle. He'd only had a couple hours to get used to
the news. "I don't care if you have your leg or not. I love you. Not your leg."
"You don't understand. This isn't about my leg. I don't want to be with you anymore." Kyle wouldn't
raise his eyes to meet Colt's.
"Look at me and tell me that." Colt reached for Kyle's shoulder and tried to turn him to face him. "I
don't believe you for a minute. This is all about your damn leg." Colt pulled his hand back with a little
more force than he wanted. Anger flooded him that Kyle would try to throw away everything between
them because of this.
"It has nothing to do with my leg." Kyle turned and stared at him.
For a brief moment, something softened and emotion flicked through Kyle's eyes before he blocked
it and the glare returned. Colt stared back, refusing to back down.
"Then what's it about? How is it when we talked the other night everything was fine, but now all the
sudden you want it over?"
"It's something I've been thinking about. We aren't meant to be. You have your life and I have mine.
We were stupid to think a cowboy and rock star could ever work. We are too different. Our lives are too
different."
"That's bullshit and you know it."
"Right, when was the last time we were together? It has been months, Colt. We are too busy to make
this work. It's not going to get any better. We both know that." Kyle fisted the sheet at his side and
swallowed hard. "Just go home. I'm sorry you had to come all this way."
"I don't want to give up." Colt reached for his hand again.
Kyle wrenched his hand back. "I said leave. I mean it, Colt. Leave. I don't want to see you again."
Colt wasn't one to beg, but everything told him that Kyle didn't mean what he was saying. He was
just pushing Colt away because of the accident. "Kyle, please. Don't do this to us. Let me help you get
through this. We have so many things we've planned together, don't throw it all away."
"Get out!" Kyle glared at him.
Colt didn't react to the scream, but Carl and the others did, walking into the room.
"I will leave for tonight, Kyle, but I will be back in the morning and we will talk about this again. I'm
not losing you, Kyle. I love you too much to just forget everything between us." Colt turned, meeting
Carl's eyes for a moment before walking out into the hall.
Colt stopped several doors down from Kyle's room and leaned against the wall. Kyle's words hurt,
and even if he didn't mean them, the fact that he could say them at all was enough to twist the knife into
Colt's heart.
He rested the back of his head on the wall as he waited for Carl to come back out. He needed to let
the others know he was going to stay the night and try again in the morning. Maybe figure out some way
they could help Kyle deal with everything he would be facing.
"Colt, you okay?" Carl touched his shoulder softly.
"Yeah. Wasn't expecting that." He met Carl's stare. "He's scared."
"Can't blame him."
"No, recon you can't, but I still won't give up. I'm not going to let him push me away."
Carl nodded. "I agree. He's still in shock. We'll give him some time. You mean what you said, you
staying the night?"
"Yeah. I'm getting a room for tonight. Will try to talk to him tomorrow once he has time to work
through everything."
"Don't take this personal." Carl gave his shoulder a squeeze.
"I'm trying not to. But the fact he can talk to me that way under any circumstances is a bit hard to
swallow." Colt stared down at the toe of his cowboy boot.
"I know. He doesn't mean it. I don't understand what is going on in that mind of his, but I mean to
find out." Carl shook his head, his thinning gray hair messed from what Colt figured was a very long day.
"Give him time, he'll come around."
Colt sighed. "Not like I have a choice. I don't want to live without him." He shoved his hands in his
pockets. "How are you guys? Can I do anything to help?"
"Might drop by and see Luis. He's going stir crazy being stuck in bed. He's at the end of the hall.
Room four-oh-four. I have an extra bed in my room at the hotel if you want to bunk with us."
Colt considered the offer, then shook his head. "I think I need to be alone tonight. No offense. I
appreciate the offer."
"I more than understand. We are at the Madison if you need to find us. Carl Jensen. I'll be here first
thing in the morning as well. Not going to let our boy drown himself in feeling sorry for himself," Carl
said.
"He's lucky to have you." Colt straightened and glanced down the hall. "I'll drop in and say hi to
Luis. Call me if anything changes."
Carl bit his lip. "Don't give up."
"I won't, Carl. It's not even a thought." He turned and made his way down the hall, praying that after
a good night's sleep Kyle would come around.
Kyle stared into the darkness. His head still pounded, and damn if the pain in his leg wasn't about
killing him. Thing was the pain he felt in his leg was in the part the assholes had cut off. The top half was
numb. His toes burned and his shin felt like someone had played a good round of soccer without the pads
with him. It pissed him off not only was the leg gone, but he couldn't rub his shin or wiggle his toes to
ease the pain.
He could hear the nurses in the hall. It had to be close to morning, but Kyle couldn't see the clock on
the wall in the darkness. He tossed the blanket off him and once again rubbed his leg. He could finally lift
it and he had spent half the night rubbing over the wrapped nub as he tried to deal with the fact that his
leg was gone.
He closed his eyes as he thought once again how his life would change. He wouldn't doubt if the
band already discussed things and how to find a new singer. They wouldn't want him tagging along,
slowing them down.
He wasn't stupid. He knew they would get him a fake leg and tell him he could do anything, but he
was sure it wasn't so easy. He'd heard stories about how hard it was to get used to them. The nurse had
even mentioned something about learning to walk again. Hell, he wasn't about to go on stage and risk
falling on his face in front of the crowd.
His mind drifted back to what had really been keeping him up all night. It wasn't the pain, or the loss
of his leg, or even the band. It was Colt. He sighed as he remembered the hurt in Colt's eyes at his words.
The sound of Colt's voice when he begged him not to end it.
It killed him to say those words, but he wasn't about to make Colt suffer with half a man. His
stomach turned when he thought about getting naked with Colt and only having half a leg. It was easier to
end it now, instead of to wait and have Colt kick him to the curb because he couldn't stand to look at him.
Still the pain in his heart was worse than his leg ever could be. He didn't want to lose him, but he
wouldn't put anyone through having to stare at him. He didn't want pity or Colt to stay with him because
he felt he needed to.
It was over, and it was for the best.
He would tell the band tomorrow to go on without him. They had the chance of a lifetime coming up
and he would stand in their way. There were other singers out there who could replace him.
"You're awake." The nurse who had been in off and on through the night came to stand by his bed.
"You hurting?" She switched on the small light to the side of the bed.
"Yeah, but what hurts isn't there. I feel like my toes are on fire." He rolled his head to look over at
her.
She smiled as she wrapped the blood pressure cuff around his arm. "That is very common. It's called
phantom pain. I'll make a note and the doctor can talk to you about that. There are some medications that
help take the sensation away."
He remained quiet as she finished taking his blood pressure. When she unwrapped the cuff from his
arm, he pushed up in bed. "Can I get out of bed?"
"Not yet. The doctor will be in and let you know about all that." She reached up and ran her fingers
over his head where the stitches were. "Head hurt at all?"
"Starting to itch."
"That's normal as well. Try not to scratch." She made a note in his chart. "Sorry you missed your
concert. I was looking forward to seeing you guys play."
He groaned silently. Of course his nurse would have to be a fan. He was sure now that all the
information about the accident and his injury would get out to the fans, if it wasn't already. He shifted,
trying to get comfortable. "I'm sorry this happened and you missed it."
"They said they would reschedule once you guys are back on your feet." She reached for his water
container.
Wrong words to use. He glanced down at his half leg and thought about how he would never stand
on his feet again. "I haven't had a chance to talk to the guys about things yet."
"No, I guess you wouldn't." She smiled. "I saw pictures of you and your boyfriend online. You two
been together long?"
"No, we aren't together any longer." Kyle wished she would just go away.
"Yes we are." Colt's voice came from the doorway.
Kyle sighed. "Go away, Colt."
"No. Not until we talk." He stepped into the room and walked to the side of the bed. "I can wait until
the nurse is finished if you need, but we are going to talk before I head home."
Kyle didn't want Colt to go home. He wanted to reach out, hold him, and have Colt help make
everything right again. But that wouldn't happen, because even Colt couldn't work miracles, and that is
what they would need to make everything right.
Kyle glanced up at Colt and shook his head. "Why won't you listen?"
"Because I love you."
The nurse reached for Kyle's chart and smiled. "I'll leave you two to talk. I'll be back with your
breakfast in a bit."
Kyle nodded, but kept staring at Colt as she walked out the door. "I don't want to do this anymore,
Colt. I can't. It's too hard."
"Why? It's been fine up until now."
"No it hasn't. I jack off every night to your voice. I don't get to hold you, be with you. My career is
taking off and that means our time together will only get less and less. It's not fair to either of us." Kyle
grasped for any lame excuse he could. He just wanted Colt to go. The sooner Colt left, the sooner Kyle
could get on with being miserable and alone the rest of his life.
"So I come see you more. I'm sorry I couldn't get away the last month or two. I warned you March
and April were busy, but I'm able to now. We can do this."
"I don't want to."
"You're lying to me."
Kyle bit his cheek, but held his stare.
"Don't push me away, Kyle. I don't want to go."
"I want you to go." Kyle sighed. "I've got enough going on right now trying to recover. I don't need
the stress our relationship brings, too."
He waited for lightning to strike him dead for lying.
Colt sighed and reached down, caressing his hand over Kyle's thigh. He looked down at the leg and
then back up at Kyle. "I want to help you recover."
Kyle fought the urge to cover his leg with the blanket. "It's not going to work, Colt. I'm sorry."
Letting Colt go was the hardest thing he ever had to do, but the pain would be less now than it would to
have Colt reject him later. "Just go. Don't make this harder on us."
"Is this really what you want, Kyle?" Colt took his hand and caressed his finger over Kyle's palm.
"Cause it's not what I want."
Kyle took another deep breath. "You might be fine with the long distance, but I can't do it anymore."
He could see the hurt on Colt's face and Kyle hated himself for causing it. Kyle glanced up at Colt. "Colt,
please. If you ever loved me, if you ever cared even a little bit about me, you will go. I can't do this with
you anymore. Please, please just let it go."
Tears swam in Colt's eyes as he looked back at Kyle. "I don't understand this. I love you, Kyle. I'm
going only because I don't want to hurt you more than you are already hurting, but know this, I am not
giving up. Take whatever time you need, but when you are ready, I will be waiting. This changes nothing
for me. I still want to be with you." Colt bent down and brushed his mouth over Kyle's forehead. "I won't
give up on us. I love you." Colt turned and walked from the room without another word.
Kyle swallowed, trying to keep the tears from falling, but they came anyway. He bit his lip to keep
from calling out for Colt to come back. He stared at his half leg, reminding himself why this was the right
choice. Why he needed to let Colt go and save them both more pain later.
Using the sheet, he wiped the tears from his face as he rolled to his side, closed his eyes and prayed
that someday he could forget.
Colt tossed the saddle on the back of the horse with more force than he meant to. The horse raised
his ears and looked at him as if understanding his foul mood. Colt brushed his hand down Briff's neck.
"Sorry. Not your fault, is it?" He synched the saddle tighter.
Briff snorted in response as Colt climbed onto his back and gave him a gentle kick.
It had been almost three weeks since he last spoke to Kyle, but not a moment went by that he wasn't
on Colt's mind. Walking out of the hospital room that morning had been the hardest thing Colt ever did,
but Kyle hadn't left him a choice. To stay and fight would have only made them both miserable.
At the time, Colt was sure that Kyle would call within a week, once he got used to the fact that he'd
lost his leg. The call never came. Colt missed him. Missed him a lot. He gave Briff another kick and took
off across the ranch to the other side of the pastures to where the cattle were. He had work to do, and
anymore it seemed work was the only thing that got Colt through the long days without going insane.
He'd debated on calling, but fear of further rejection kept him from doing it. Maybe this really was
what Kyle wanted and Colt was wrong in thinking it had to do with his leg. If it was, he didn't know how
he had missed the signs, because everything had been fine between them as far as Colt was concerned.
Sure they didn't see each other as much as they liked, but they both knew going in it would be that
way.
Colt could see the herd up ahead and several of his ranch hands already working to get the new cattle
he bought into pens so they could brand them today. He slowed his horse, in no hurry to be in the
company of others. They might be friends, but Colt didn't feel like being around others. He'd already put
work off enough, it was time to get back into living.
He rode around the corrals and slid off his horse. He tied him to the fence and wandered over to
where Charles and Nick were already pulling the branding irons out and setting things up.
"Hey, guys." Colt glanced over the herd.
"Colt." Nick's son Randal came running up to him. "Dad says I get to help today."
Nick and Charles both lived on the other side of the ranch with their wives and kids, and it didn't
surprise Colt at all to see the eight year old come running out from behind Nick's truck. "Hey, Randal."
Colt bent down as the boy stopped in front of him. "You ready for some hard work then?"
"Yeah, Dad says I'm old enough to learn." Randal glanced back at his father, who was watching
them with a smile.
"I guess you are. Growing up fast. You can help us with ear tags." Colt tapped the boy's baseball hat
with his finger. "You're not scared of a little blood are you?"
"Nah. I watched you guys do this before. I can handle it."
"I think you can, too." Colt stood. "Let me talk to your dad and Charles and we will get started."
"Okay, Colt." Randal ran off again, chasing one of his dogs around the corral.
"Hope it was okay to bring him. His mom was headed to Laramie, and he didn't want to go." Nick
glanced up from where he was working on separating ear tags.
"It's not a problem at all. We'll put him to work." Colt winked. He'd always loved having the families
close. After his parent's death, it had been Nick and Charles that kept Colt from going crazy from
loneliness. He hoped the same would be true now, and that their company would help ease the pain of
missing Kyle.
Colt glanced up at the sky. Even though it was only May, the sun was already beating down on them.
He didn't look forward to think what the rest of the summer would bring. Dreading the long work ahead,
he pulled his gloves from his pocket and went to work.
*****
Kyle sat on the porch, staring over the back yard. It was the first time he'd been outside in over a
week. Carl had insisted he get some fresh air and all but forced Kyle's wheelchair out the door. Kyle hated
being stuck at home, but there was no way he was going out so everyone could stare at him without his
leg.
It was almost three weeks since surgery and he still had at least two more to go before the doctors
said the swelling would be down enough to even think about getting a temporary prosthetic and even after
that another month or two before he could get a permanent one.
The band had refused to hire a new singer and that pissed Kyle off. They all thought he would return
to the stage, claimed that it was Kyle's voice that made Rapture what it was. He argued until his head hurt,
but none of them would listen. So now, on top of feeling sorry for himself, he was feeling guilty that the
rest of the band would give up their dreams because of him.
He didn't care if the physical therapist he was forced to work with said he would walk normal again.
He couldn't take the risk that he would trip on stage or somehow his leg would fall off and everyone
would laugh at him.
"You want some sweet tea?" Carl called from inside.
"No." Kyle closed his eyes.
"You haven't eaten today. Need to keep your strength up." Carl stepped outside, sat down on the
porch swing beside him, and lit a cigarette.
"I'm not a child."
"You're acting like one."
"You're not the one who lost your leg."
"No, I'm not. We are lucky none of us lost our lives in that wreck." Carl glared at him. "It's a leg,
Kyle. You will walk again. You will have a normal life again. I don't understand why you are so ready to
throw everything away."
"It won't be the same."
"Why won't it?"
"What if I trip over a cord or going up and down the stairs?"
"Is that what worries you? Hell, you could have that happen with two good feet. You need to get
over this anger and start living. You've pushed the boys away, they don't even want to come over
anymore because you're such a pain to be around. I swear I've never met anyone more depressing than
you've become."
"I can leave."
"I don't want you to leave. I want you to pull your head out of your ass and start living again."
Kyle kicked his leg and remained silent. He still wasn't used to looking at the leg. He avoided
wearing shorts so he didn't have to, and refused to pin his pant up around the stub and draw more
attention to it. Still, the bottom of the pant leg flapped loosely as he swung his leg, reminding him of his
disability.
"I know you're depressed, but you won't take the pills the doctor gave you to help that. I don't know
what else to do, but I'm not going to sit here and watch you throw everything you've worked for away.
Rapture has a once in a lifetime chance coming up in a couple months and the others are counting on
you."
"I told them to hire another singer."
"They don't want another, they want you."
"Well, I don't want to sing anymore."
"What do you want to do? Sit in that chair and rot away?"
Kyle shrugged.
"You know what. I'm done. I've had enough of this." Carl stood, tossed his cigarette onto the lawn,
and grabbed the handles of Kyle's wheelchair. He reached down, released the brakes, and wheeled Kyle
into the house. "Go pack a bag. Take enough for at least a week, maybe more. We are going somewhere."
"I don't want to go anywhere."
"You don't have a choice. Call it kidnapping or whatever you want, but I will toss you into the bus on
my own if I have to." Carl headed toward his room. "I've wanted to check out the new bus for a while
now. This is a perfect chance. We leave in an hour."
Kyle stared after him. He didn't want to go anywhere. How the hell did Carl think he would get
around on the bus? The wheelchair probably wouldn't fit and he would be damned if he would crawl. He
cursed as he wheeled himself down the hall toward Carl's room. "I'm not going."
"Yes you are. I'm letting the others know we will be gone for a few days. I can ask them to come
help me get you on the bus if I have to." Carl stuffed a shirt in his bag.
"Carl, I'm in no shape to go on a road trip."
"You're in no shape to do anything and we are going to change that. I'm tired of dealing with your
attitude. You are lucky to be alive. I'm not about to let you sit and waste away and give up a great career.
I'm done watching you feel sorry for yourself. It's time you learned you have a lot to live for."
"Just leave me alone. I'll be fine." Kyle turned to wheel himself down the hall, cursing as he hit the
wall as he turned.
"You will be fine. I know that. I'm going to make sure of it. Now pack a bag or I'll pack it for you."
Kyle didn't need this shit. He wasn't a five year old who Carl could boss around, yet he had no doubt
that Carl would have the others force him onto the bus if he didn't do it himself. He made his way to his
room, slamming the door behind him.
He stared at the mess around his room, wondering what to do. He loved Carl, but right now he
wished he had his own place. He didn't need anyone telling him what to do. If he chose not to sing again,
that was his business, not Carl's.
His anger grew as he reached for the duffle bag on the floor. He would give in to the road trip. Let
Carl get out and drive for a while. Carl did need to check out the bus before the rest of the band went on
tour and maybe it might just calm Carl's anger.
Shoving a couple pairs of sweat pants and t-shirts into his duffle, he prayed it would be a fast trip and
they could get back home where no one would see him. One good thing about having his head shaved was
that people were less likely to recognize him. He brushed his hand over the buzz cut that was just starting
to grow back.
He shoved a couple pairs of socks into the bag, thinking how they would last him longer now that he
only needed one.
Fuck! Everything he did was a reminder of his leg. He couldn't even stand to take a piss anymore.
The simplest things were now a hassle. He'd fallen on his ass just the other night when he'd tried to reach
the ice cream in the freezer and lost his balance. No wonder Carl was sick of him. He couldn't do
anything for himself and had to have Carl help with it all.
Once he had his toothbrush and other things he thought he might need, he made his way back to the
living room, pushing his bag off his lap. It fell to the floor with a loud thud. Kyle ignored it as he wheeled
around it and stared out the window.
He couldn't wait to get his prosthetic. Once he could at least walk, he would be able to take some of
the money he had saved and move. He could get a job doing something simple, where no one knew him
and start his life over. The only way he would get Carl off his case and convince the band to go on
without him would be to leave.
"You got everything you need?" Carl opened his door and walked into the room, his own bag slung
over his shoulder.
"I don't know how you think I'll manage on the bus." Kyle turned his head to look at him.
"It will fit. You will be able to get around fine." Carl started to flip off the lights. "You want a drink
for the road?"
"Water."
Once in the living room, Carl tossed him a bottle of water from the fridge. Kyle caught it with one
hand, thankful it didn't fall and Carl would have had to pick it up.
"Where are we going?"
"To see a friend of mine."
Great, more people. Kyle brushed his hand over his short hair. "I'm not up to being around people.
Maybe I should stay."
"I'm doing this for you. You're not staying." Carl grabbed his keys off the table. "I'm going to get our
bags in and then I'll be back to help you."
Kyle bit his lip to keep from saying something he would regret. He might be angry with Carl, but
Carl was still the closest thing to a father he had and he wouldn't disrespect him. Taking a deep breath, he
looked back out the window as Carl made his way to the bus. He sat, trying to calm down. This was out
of his hands. All he could do was go along for the ride and hope they got back home soon.
"Ready?" Carl stood in the doorway.
"No."
"Good. Let's get going." Carl stepped behind him and started to wheel him out and stopping to lock
the door.
"How do I get down the stairs?"
"Same way we got you up them." Carl once again took the wheelchair and leaned it on its back
wheels. Turning it so they were going backward, Carl pulled him gently down the steps.
Each fall from one step to the other jarred Kyle's body and he swore. "Shit, careful, you're going to
drop me."
"Would you trust me for a change?" Carl dropped him another step and then settled to the ground.
"See, nothing to it."
Kyle's heart raced. He hated having no control of his life. As they neared the new bus, Kyle looked it
over for the first time. It was a lot nicer than the old one they had. He wondered what it looked like inside.
The old bus had been totaled in the accident and it hadn't taken long for the insurance company to come
through. Carl had been like a kid on Christmas shopping for a replacement bus. With the insurance
money, plus some the band had saved, they were able to buy a brand new top of the line bus.
"You're going to have to transfer out of the chair to the stairs and work your way into the bus. I'll
follow with the chair and help you back in." Carl turned the chair so Kyle could transfer easily.
Kyle sighed. He hated being on his ass. It made him feel like a child. Pushing with his arms as the
physical therapist taught him, he braced his good leg on the ground and worked his way to the bus, sitting
on the bottom step and then pushing up the stairs and into the bus.
He glanced around briefly, impressed at what he saw before he turned his focus back to what he was
doing and crawled to the first chair he could get to and hefted himself up into it.
Carl carried his collapsed chair into the bus and leaned it up against the small couch that was beside
him. "You want to stay where you are or want back in the chair?"
"I'll stay right here." Kyle didn't look up.
"Fine. I won't be able to help you, so I'll leave the chair here by you. You should be able to get into it
alone by now." Carl turned to shut the bus doors and sat down behind the steering wheel. "Make yourself
comfortable. It will be a long drive."
Kyle looked around, and smiled when he saw a large bed at the back of the bus. Maybe, just maybe,
he could sleep the trip away and not have to deal with moving around at all.
Colt woke to the sound of someone pulling up in front of his house. He stumbled from his bed,
pulled back the curtains and frowned as he saw a large bus park. He turned and reached for his jeans,
pulling them on and heading downstairs.
The only person with a tour bus he knew of was Kyle and the band, but he hadn't heard from them in
nearly a month. He didn't dare get his hopes up that it was Kyle until he saw for sure.
Unlocking the front door, he stepped bare-footed out onto the porch as the bus shut down and the
door slid open.
"Colt?" Carl called as he stuck his head out.
"Carl?" Colt made his way down the steps of the porch with a smile. "Good to see you." He glanced
up hoping to see Kyle, but no one else appeared from inside the bus.
"Hope you think that when you hear what I'm up to." Carl ran his fingers through his thin gray hair.
"I need some help."
"Sure, anything." Colt rubbed his hand down his bare chest as he met Carl at the bus. "New bus
giving you issues?"
"Nah. Bus runs great. It's a much bigger problem I have." Carl glanced back at the bus almost
nervously. "I didn't know what else to do. Nothing I've tried is working."
Colt shook his head. "I'm afraid I don't understand."
Carl coughed and pulled a cigarette out of his pocket. "I'm kicking Kyle out. I'm sick of watching
him mope around feeling sorry for himself. I didn't know where else to take him. I hoped maybe you
could get through to him."
Colt blinked several times as his pulse raced. "Kyle's here?"
"Yep. In the bus. Refuses to come out. Says he isn't your problem any longer." Carl lit the cigarette
and leaned back against the side of the bus. "If you won't help me, I do understand, but I just don't know
what else to do. He won't snap out of whatever it is he had gotten himself into. I thought he might spend a
few days here with you and maybe you could talk some sense into him."
"But if he doesn't want to be here…" Colt glanced up at the bus. He was more than willing to take
Kyle in, but he refused to force it on him.
"I look at it this way, he has two choices. He stays here with you or I dump his sorry ass off on the
side of the road and force him to learn to make his own way. I'm done dealing with his attitude. If he
wants to give up, it won't be under my watch."
Colt smiled and shook his head. "He's going to hate you for this."
"I'm guessing he already does. He's been in there bitching at me since we hit the Wyoming line and
he realized where I was headed." Carl shrugged. "Let him be mad at me. Not the first time."
"You sure about this?" Colt glanced at the bus, unsure if this was going to help things.
"If you don't want him here, just say so. I don't have any other options. You were the one closest to
him before this all happened. I hoped maybe you could help him. Say the word and we turn around out of
here and I find him somewhere else to go."
Colt laughed softly. Carl knew he would never turn Kyle away. "He's going to hate us both for this."
"Probably. Is that a yes?" Carl raised a brow.
"Yeah, he can stay here." Colt stepped back. "If you can get him off the bus."
"Hell, that's easy enough. I'm throwing him off if he doesn't go willingly." Carl turned and went to
the steps that led up into the bus. "Kyle, come on out." Carl stepped inside the bus and appeared a second
later with a wheelchair.
Colt stared at the wheelchair and his chest tightened of the thought of Kyle having to use it. Sure, it
made sense that Kyle would need one, but it was something Colt hadn't thought of. He took a deep breath
and watched as Carl climbed back in the bus.
He braced his hand on the bus, preparing himself for the worst. It didn't matter how many nights Colt
had prayed that Kyle would come back, this wasn't how he wanted it to happen. He frowned, worried that
Kyle would hate him for helping Carl with this.
Carl wouldn't have asked Colt to take Kyle in if he didn't think it would help. Colt's mouth quirked
up in a grin as he saw Kyle's duffle bag come flying out the door.
"I mean it, Kyle. You're next. You either go on your own or I toss your ass out," Carl's voice called
from the bus.
Colt stepped back from the bus, debating on if he should go in and save Kyle or not. He didn't doubt
for a minute that Carl would physically pick Kyle up and toss him out of the bus if he needed to.
"I told you, I don't want to see him." Kyle's voice sent Colt's pulse racing.
"Kyle?" Colt stepped to the foot of the steps and called into the bus.
"Go away, Colt," Kyle called.
"I only want to help. We can make the best of this." Colt took two steps up. When Kyle came into
view, he had to force the shock from showing on his face. Kyle had lost at least twenty pounds, dark
circles sat beneath his eyes, and he looked like he hadn't slept in weeks. "You heard Carl. It's me or the
highway."
"Carl would never leave me on the side of the road." Kyle glared at the two of them.
"Try me." Carl met his stare. "I'm done with this shit, Kyle. You get off my bus and don't bother
calling me until you get your shit together."
"Our bus," Kyle said.
"No. This is the band's bus. You have made it clear that you no longer wish to be part of Rapture, so
you no longer have a share in the bus." Carl took a step toward Kyle.
Colt was shocked to hear that Kyle had quit the band. He would have never expected that. Rapture
was everything Kyle had ever wanted and worked for. "You quit the band?"
"They will do better without me." Kyle didn't look away from Carl.
"Come inside. Spend a few days with me. Let Carl calm down and you two can get a break from
each other." Colt waited patiently.
"I don't want to be with you, Colt." Kyle finally looked over at him.
"You can stay in the guest room, just get a change of scenery for a while and both of you can get a
breather." Colt fisted his hand at his side at the thought of Kyle being around and not being able to touch
him.
Kyle glanced at Carl. "You'll come back and get me after a few days?"
"I'll come get you when you can act like a human, stop pushing everyone away, and feeling sorry for
yourself." Carl reached for Kyle's arm. "Come on, off my bus."
Kyle looked at Colt and then back at Carl before glancing at the floor.
Colt realized Kyle would have to crawl to get off the bus. He stepped farther into the bus and offered
his hand to Kyle. "We can do this one of two ways. I can be your crutch and you can lean on me and hop
or I can carry you to your chair."
Kyle shook his head. "You can't lift me."
"You've lost so much weight since I've seen you, I'm sure any female could carry you out of here."
Colt pushed past Carl and went to Kyle. "Come on. Let's get you in the house. Then you can start
ignoring me."
Carl laughed. "He will, too. I hate shoving him off on you, but I didn't know where else to turn."
Colt smiled. "We'll be fine. Kyle and I will come to an understanding."
Kyle didn't look happy at all as he scooted to the edge of his chair. "I guess it's easiest if you carry
me."
Colt's heart broke seeing the expression on Kyle's face. It was taking everything he had to admit he
needed help. Colt bent down and slid one hand under Kyle's thighs and then the other around his back.
"Grab around my neck."
Kyle sighed and reached out, hooking one arm around Colt's shoulder and the other around his chest.
Colt lifted Kyle up into his arms and settled him against his chest. Having him close brought
emotions he'd forced back to explode forward, and he closed his eyes for a moment to try and keep them
from overwhelming him.
He felt Kyle tense and wondered if he was feeling it too. He looked up as Carl stepped from the bus
and as much as he wanted to stay right where he was with Kyle in his arms, he knew Kyle would start
fighting him if he didn't move.
Working his way out of the bus, he carefully stepped down the stairs and outside. The moon cast the
only light they had, but it was enough to see what they were doing. He moved to where Carl held the
chair and gently set Kyle down.
"Thanks." Kyle still refused to look up at him. He shifted in the chair for a moment then settled. "I
can't believe you're doing this to me, Carl."
"What did you think I was going to do? Sit in the house and let you rot away? You won't eat, you
won't talk to anyone, you won't take any of the pills the doctors given you. I was out of options. Speaking
of which…" Carl turned and made his way back into the bus.
Colt looked down at Kyle, taking in how he had changed since he had last seen him. He glanced at
the short brown hair. It wasn't a bad look, but still strange to Colt not to see it long.
Kyle glanced up. "You're staring."
"Sorry. Still not used to you with short hair." Colt smiled. "It's not a bad look, just different."
"I hate it." Kyle reached up and touched his head.
"It will grow back."
"It will take years."
"We can get you a wig," Colt teased.
Kyle rolled his eyes. "Yeah, that's just what I need. Fake leg, fake hair."
"You've lost a lot of weight."
"I haven't been hungry."
"Still need to eat."
Kyle shrugged.
Colt sighed. "I hate seeing you this way."
"Then don't look."
"I don't want to fight."
"Then just leave me alone and we won't have any problems."
"Here." Carl stepped out of the bus with a large Ziploc bag filled with pill bottles. "They are all
marked as to what they are and how often. I haven't been able to get him to take anything. Maybe you'll
have better luck." He handed the bag to Colt.
"I'll try." Colt glanced back over at Kyle. "Not sure I'll have any more luck than you did."
"Can I speak to you alone?" Carl nodded to the bus.
Colt nodded, hating to talk about Kyle behind his back, but the situation wasn't normal and he was
willing to do anything he needed to see Kyle back to normal. He glanced at Kyle. "I'll be right back."
"Don't rush on my account." Kyle looked toward the barn.
Colt wondered if he was remembering their time in there. He wondered if he remembered anything
they shared anymore. He turned and followed Carl into the bus.
"He looks like shit." Colt lowered his voice as they stepped farther inside.
"I know. Now you see why I did this. I've tried everything. He's given up. I hate dumping him on
you, but I didn't know what else to do. We've all tried and he just pushes us farther away. You're our last
chance and I don't even know if you can get through to him." Carl reached for a notebook he had stashed
in a small drawer. "Give me your number."
"I'll do my best." Colt sighed as he wrote down his number. "Not sure he will listen to me either."
"I'm going to go visit a friend for a week in Michigan. If you need me before that I'll give you my
number. You call and I will come get him right away, but don't tell him that. Let him think I'm done with
his foolishness." Carl wrote down his number, tore it out of the notebook, and handed it to Colt.
"I will. You did the right thing bringing him here." Colt hoped it was the truth.
Carl rubbed his hand over his jaw. "I hope so. Thanks, Colt."
Colt bowed his head in a slight nod.
"I'll call you in a few days. Call me if you need anything." Carl turned for the door, stepped back
outside, and stared at Kyle. "I'm leaving. You might hate me now, but I'm doing this because I love you,
Kyle." He gave Kyle's shoulder a squeeze and turned back for the bus. "Night, you two."
Colt went to Kyle as Carl started the bus. He moved the wheelchair closer to the house before
grabbing Kyle's bag and setting it on the porch. Kyle watched the bus pull away until the taillights
disappeared down the long drive.
"How long have you two had this planned?" Kyle looked up at him.
Colt frowned. "I didn't know you were coming until I heard the bus pull up. Last I talked to anyone
was when I left the hospital in Houston."
"He shouldn't have brought you into this." Kyle rubbed his hand over his leg.
"Who should he have involved? Would you listen to anyone?" Colt sat down on the porch steps.
"I'm not a child. I don't need to listen to anyone."
"You look like shit, Kyle. Obviously, you haven't been taking care of yourself. Why did you quit the
band?"
"I don't want to get into it. You wouldn't understand." Kyle glanced up at the house.
"You want to go in?"
"It's your house."
"Would you stop this shit?"
Kyle stared at him.
"Fuck, Kyle, it doesn't need to be any harder than it's already going to be, okay? We can at least be
civil to each other."
"If you don't want me here you should have told Carl no."
"I want you here. I never wanted you to leave. Remember, I was the one who begged you not to end
things between us? You might not care, but I do. I still love you." Colt rubbed his hands down his arms
and sighed. "I can deal with the fact you don't want to be with me anymore, Kyle, but I won't let you kill
yourself off."
Kyle turned his head, looking away.
"All I am asking is that you be civil. I'm not the enemy. I want to help you. Can we at least talk to
each other without being rude?" Colt stood. "Come on. Let's get you in the house so we can both get some
sleep."
Kyle glanced at the steps and shook his head.
"I know it's killing you to need help, but for now that's just the way it is."
"I feel like a child," Kyle admitted.
"How long before you get your prosthetic?"
"Maybe two weeks if the swelling is down. Could be longer."
"We can get by until then. It won't be so bad." Colt stood before Kyle. "Let me carry you in. I'll
come back out and get your chair and bag after." He touched Kyle's shoulder. "I'll let you pick your room.
I wish I had a room on the main level."
"It's okay. If you leave the chair at the bottom of the stairs, I can crawl up and down them."
Colt hated the thought of Kyle crawling. "If I'm around I don't mind helping you up and down them."
"We'll see."
"Alright, let's do this. You get the door when we get there, okay?"
"Yeah." Kyle sounded ashamed.
Colt didn't want to give Kyle any more time to think about things. He bent down and picked Kyle up,
once again pulling him against his chest. He resisted the urge to bury his face against Kyle's neck. He
turned and carefully took the three steps up to the porch and stopped at the door. Kyle reached over and
pushed it open.
Once inside, Colt looked at Kyle. "You want a bedroom or you want to talk some more?"
"Bed." Kyle looked upstairs. "The one next to yours, so I have my own bathroom."
Colt nodded and started up the stairs. Memories of their time together flooded him as he carried Kyle
down the short hallway. He wanted more than anything to carry Kyle into his own room and lay him on
the bed where he could be with him the rest of the night. Stopping at the door next to his he tapped the
door with his foot. "Get the door for me, please."
Once again, Kyle opened the door. Colt carried him to the bed and gently set him down on it. His
chest felt the loss of Kyle's warm body as he stepped back. "I'll go get your bags and chair."
Kyle nodded, but remained silent.
Colt rushed down the stairs and back outside. He folded the wheelchair and slung Kyle's bag over his
shoulder before picking the chair up and heading back inside. Seeing Kyle so helpless was killing him. He
bit his lip as he tried to think of any way to help Kyle become more independent but he couldn't. There
just wasn't a way for him to balance on his own with one leg.
He knocked on the door as he entered and set the bag down on the bed before he opened the
wheelchair and set it beside the bed. "How do you want things placed so it's easiest for you?"
Kyle looked around the room. "I think I can handle it all if you just move the chair a bit closer to the
bed so I can get into it."
Colt did as he was told, pushing the chair right up against the bed. He stepped back and smiled. "I
promise staying here won't be so bad."
Kyle met his stare. "Doesn't matter where I am. I'm stuck in that damn chair and can't do anything."
"We'll see if we can figure something out. You might not believe it, but I'm glad you're here, Kyle."
"At least one of us is." Kyle eased back on the bed, rolled to his side. "Night, Colt."
Kyle struggled to get back in the chair after getting dressed. His sleeve caught on the handle of the
wheelchair and he cursed. Life just kept getting worse and worse. Finally settled in the chair, he took a
moment to collect himself before going out and facing Colt.
He sighed, still furious at Carl for dumping him here. The last thing he wanted was to have Colt see
him weak and helpless. It was one of the reasons he ended their relationship in the first place. He would
never forgive Carl for this.
Brushing his fingers over his short hair, he tried to think of any way out of here. He could call Luis
or one of the others in the band, but he was sure Carl had talked to them by now and warned them what
was going on. Besides, he hadn't been the most friendly person over the last month. There was no
guarantee that they would come for him anyway. They were probably happy he was gone.
Wheeling himself to the door, he struggled to get it open and maneuver the wheelchair around it. He
pushed himself out into the hall and looked around. He hadn't heard Colt at all this morning, but he was
sure he was up and probably already working.
Moving down the hall, he stopped at the top of the stairs and stared at the long staircase. He could
slide out of his chair and slide down the steps on his ass, but that would leave the chair at the top and he
would be stuck crawling around on the floor once he got down the stairs.
He sighed, tired of everything around him being a struggle. He just wanted his leg back. He wanted
his life back. He hated being stuck here with Colt and not able to escape. As he slid out of the chair and to
the floor, he wondered what Colt thought about everything. He hadn't shown any sign of anger or disgust,
but Kyle was sure he wasn't any happier about what Carl had done than he was.
Leaving the chair behind, he moved to the top step and slowly started his descent down the stairs. He
debated several times of trying to stand and using the banister to help him hop from step to step, but his
fear of falling kept him on his butt.
Once at the bottom of the stairs, he looked around for anything to hold on to so he could hop into the
kitchen, but there was nothing around. Having no choice but to crawl, he went to his knees and slowly
started to crawl through the house, toward the kitchen.
He only wanted a cup of coffee.
His knees ached and his stub throbbed. He still suffered from phantom pain and this caused him to
forget his leg wasn't there and at times he would set his leg down expecting the foot to support him, only
to bang the swollen end of his amputated leg hard against the floor.
He was almost to the kitchen when he heard the front door open. He quickly looked around for
somewhere to sit, ashamed to be found crawling on the floor, but he didn't have time to make it to the
table. He glanced up as Colt walked in, hanging his head in shame.
Colt smiled. "Morning. Didn't think you would be up so early. Let me grab your chair for you and
you can join me for coffee if you want."
"Thanks." Kyle sat down, leaning his back up against the wall as he watched Colt go back to the
stairs for his chair.
Colt looked good. It was hard seeing him again. Last night when he had picked Kyle up and held him
to carry him out of the bus, Kyle had struggled with the emotions that surged through him. He still loved
him so much, but as he looked back down at his leg, it was a reminder of just why they couldn't be
together.
"Here we go." Colt set the chair on the floor and unfolded it. He offered a hand to Kyle, to help him
stand and get seated.
Kyle stared at his hand for a moment, part of him not wanting the help, but he also knew it would
take more work without the help. With a heavy sigh, he took Colt's hand, pushed up off the ground with
his good leg, and turned to grip the chair as he sat down.
"We should think about getting another chair. That way you can have one up stairs and one down."
Colt moved behind him and started pushing him toward the kitchen. "I have to go to Laramie tomorrow
for supplies, you could join me and we could pick one up."
Kyle stared at his lap. "I don't know."
Colt parked the chair at the kitchen table and went to pour two cups of coffee. He returned and set
one down in front of Kyle and then sat down in the chair beside him. "Whatever you want, Kyle. I don't
want to make you uncomfortable, but I think it would make things easier for you."
"I just want my leg." Kyle wrapped his hands around his coffee cup. "Thanks for the coffee."
"You're welcome. I'll get us some breakfast in just a few."
Kyle's stomach cramped at the thought. "I'm not hungry."
Colt frowned. "You need to eat. I'm not going to let you starve yourself while you are here."
"I'm not trying to starve myself. I really just have no appetite." He looked up at Colt. "Honestly, I get
one or two bites in me and feel sick." He bowed his head again. He needed to remember not to look at
Colt's eyes. Too many memories and emotions lived there. He rubbed his finger over his coffee cup. He
needed to find a way to keep his distance. Keep Colt at a distance. "I'll get some crackers or something.
You don't need to cook."
"I have to cook for me. Might as well include you in that as well." Colt blew over his coffee.
Kyle smiled, remembering how Colt always did that. He closed his eyes, remembering Colt standing
at the counter, watching him the day they met. It seemed so long ago. So much had happened since then.
It was a sobering thought and Kyle brushed his hand over his leg to remind himself why it was over.
"You mentioned once you loved waffles. Will you eat a bit if I make them?" Colt set his cup on the
table.
"You really don't need to —"
"I want to. I'm hungry, too."
"I'll eat a little." He wasn't in the mood to fight.
"Good." Colt went to start pulling out what he needed. "So how's everyone else? Luis recovered
okay?"
"Yeah. He got the cast off last week. I haven't seen too much of them. Haven't been in the mood for
company."
"Tim still dating that girl from Nebraska?"
"Yeah. He flew up there a few weeks ago. I don't know if he's back yet or not. You saw the new bus.
Carl's been spending all his time setting it up, making sure it's ready to go when the band goes back out."
Colt looked over at him. "What are you going to do while they tour?"
Kyle shrugged. "I don't know what I will be able to do."
"What do you mean? Once you have your prosthetic you should be able to do anything you want."
"They say I will have to learn how to walk again."
"I'm sure it's just a matter of getting used to the new leg. Won't take you long at all." Colt stirred the
batter.
Kyle sipped at his coffee, staring out the window. He didn't want to think about the future. "Looks
strange without all the snow."
"I'll take you out later this week and show you around. It's like a different world depending on the
season."
"I don't want to keep you from work. You don't have to babysit me."
Colt shut the waffle iron and turned to refill his coffee. "I wasn't babysitting. I want to show you
around. At one point you were excited to see the place."
"Things change," Kyle told him.
"So do people."
Kyle didn't miss the sarcasm in Colt's voice and it sent a wave of guilt through him. "Listen, I'm
going to make a few calls today and see if I can get someone to come get me. It's not fair to you to have to
deal with all this shit. Carl was wrong to dump me here."
Colt stared at him a moment. "Are you really that determined to be rid of me?"
Kyle shrugged.
"Do you think I would have let Carl leave you if it was a problem? Have you thought that maybe I
want to help you? It's as good a place as any for you to recover. Once we get you another chair, you can
get around easier. It's only for a week or so, Kyle."
He didn't want to spend a week with Colt. There were too many memories, too many emotions
stirred back up. Ones that he had spent weeks trying to forget. He was trapped here and he hated it. No
matter how many calls he made, he doubted anyone would come rescue him.
Colt watched him as he cooked and Kyle turned toward the window so he didn't have to look back at
him. He was being an ass, but it was the only way to protect himself from more pain later.
"Here." Colt set two large waffles down in front of Kyle with the butter and syrup. "You want some
juice?"
Kyle looked at the plate, knowing he would never be able to eat even half of it. "More coffee,
please." Kyle held up his empty cup, hating that he couldn't get up and get his own.
Colt refilled the coffee and handed it back to Kyle before serving up his own plate and sitting down.
He smeared butter over his waffles and drizzled syrup, while Kyle let his food sit, untouched in front of
him.
"You need to eat something, Kyle."
Kyle picked at a small piece of his waffle and stuck it in his mouth. "Happy?"
Colt sighed. "What's going on with you? This isn't like you."
"Things change, Colt. You said it yourself minutes ago. People change."
"This is different and you know it. You've all but given up. I don't blame Carl for worrying about
you. I'm worried, too."
"You guys just don't understand."
"Why don't you explain it to me? I'll try to understand." Colt continued eating.
Kyle stared at his food. "Things are just different now."
"How? Other than you have short hair and you are going to have one fake leg. How is anything else
different?"
"I can't do the things I used to."
"Not now, but once you get your leg, you will. Once you get used to it, you will be able to do
everything you used to." Colt nodded to the food. "Please eat something."
"Fuck. See what I mean? Everyone is treating me like a child. Do this, do that, eat, sleep. It never
ends."
"Kyle, when was the last time you looked at yourself in a mirror? You're skin and bones. We tell you
to eat because you are losing so much weight. We aren't trying to baby you or boss you around. We're
concerned. Worried about you. If you won't take care of yourself, someone has to say something. Try
something. I'm not going to let you die on my watch."
"I'm not going to die."
Colt stared at him. "Tell me you haven't wished it. Thought about it."
Kyle looked away.
"See, this is what I mean. This isn't you. What happened to the dreams you used to share with me?"
"They left with my leg."
Colt shook his head. "That's crazy. Nothing left. It might make things a bit harder, but you were
never one to back down. The band was the most important thing in the world to you. To walk away from
that is just crazy. You can still sing. Your leg has nothing to do with that."
"Easy for you to say. You're not the one who will be limping around on stage, risking tripping over a
cord or falling in front of thousands of fans." Kyle poured some syrup on his waffle. He would eat just
enough to make Colt happy.
"Is that what you're worried about?"
"Making a fool out of myself? Yeah."
Colt laughed. "You could easily trip and fall with a normal leg. I watched two of your shows and the
way you run around that stage it's amazing you haven't tripped a time or two. I'm sure it happens to every
band."
"But it's more likely with a fake leg."
"How do you know? Did the doctors tell you this?"
Kyle shoved a large forkful of waffle in his mouth and chewed. Once he swallowed he nodded.
"They said it would be different and that I would have to learn how to walk again."
"Different is just different. It doesn't mean harder or that you are more likely to fall." Colt set his fork
down. "Think about things, Kyle. Don't give up the band. At least not yet. Try the new leg and see what
it's like. You are too good a singer to just walk away."
"You think I want this?" Kyle glared. "I didn't ask for all this to happen."
"No, you didn't. But it happened and it's up to you how you deal with it."
"Easy for you to say. It's not you who had to deal."
"I do know that if it was me, I wouldn't be pushing away everyone who loved me. I would let them
help me. I wouldn't give up my dreams. I might have to make a few adjustments to make things work, but
because I refuse to give up, I would do it."
"So you're stronger than me."
"You know better. I didn't fall in love with someone who was weak."
Kyle swallowed and concentrated on his food.
"Make you uncomfortable when I say I love you?" Colt asked.
"Does it matter?" Kyle pushed his plate back. "Thanks for breakfast and the coffee. I'm going to go
in the living room and take a nap on the couch."
Colt frowned. "Be ready by eight tomorrow morning. We will leave for Laramie then. Call me if you
need me to help move your chair back upstairs. I've got work in the barn."
Kyle pushed his wheelchair back from the table and wheeled himself out of the dining area and down
the hall to the living room. Transferring from the chair to the couch, he lay down, closed his eyes, and
prayed time went fast.
Colt kicked at the dirt as he cleaned out one of the stalls. He blinked several times, trying to will the
headache that was forming behind his eyes away. He didn't know the man inside. Kyle was so far from
the man he'd fallen in love with and he didn't know what to do about it.
Most of it was a cover. Kyle was hiding from the truth and refusing to face things. Colt wanted to
shake him, wake him up, and make him face things. Hiding behind his fear and anger would only make it
worse.
Colt tossed the shovel aside. He needed to come up with something to show Kyle that the loss of his
leg didn't change anything. That he was still the same person. But what?
He stepped out of the barn and looked up to the sky. The sun sat high above him and he welcomed
the warmth against his face. He wished he could get Kyle to come out and get some fresh air, but he
doubted Kyle would leave the house right now.
Seeing Kyle crawling down the hall today was hard. He could only imagine how degrading it would
feel to not even be able to walk out to get a cup of coffee. Colt was tempted to make the trip to Laramie
today and get the wheelchair, but he wanted Kyle with him, and figured giving him a day's notice would
help prepare him for the trip. He wondered if Carl had forced Kyle out at all the last few weeks.
Giving up on getting anything done, Colt headed back into the house. He peeked in on Kyle who
appeared to be sleeping. Going to get himself a cup of coffee, he saw the bag of pills on the counter and
stopped. Dumping them out, he read the labels. A mix of pain pills, antibiotics, one marked for depression
and another had swelling scribbled across the label. He set them aside, making a mental note to force
Kyle to take a couple of them when he woke.
Taking his coffee down the hall, he went to his office. He needed to pay bills and get a few other
things out of the way he had been putting off. As he worked the numbers and made a few online
payments, his mind stayed on Kyle, trying to come up with ideas to help him.
He typed in amputation on his computer and started to read some stuff that popped up. He wanted to
better understand what Kyle was going through and see how common this kind of depression was. He
was a bit shocked to find out it was common. Most cases dealt with people coming back after fighting in
Iraq, but it didn't matter how the leg was lost, it still effected the mind the same.
He started looking at recovery, and what it would take to get Kyle walking again. He sighed seeing
that he would have to get a temporary prosthetic first before getting a permanent one in a couple months.
Colt glanced at the calendar on his desk. Kyle was due to start touring with Shattered Dreams the end of
July. That was a little less than two months away. It would be close, but from what Colt read, Kyle could
still start the tour with his temporary and get the new one fit between shows.
"Hey," Kyle said from the doorway.
Colt closed out the computer. "Hey. Sleep well?"
"Not really. My leg hurts."
"You have pills for that."
"They make me feel funny. Like my brains in a fog."
"You want a couple Tylenol?"
"If you don't mind." Kyle pushed farther into the room. "No hurry."
"I can grab them now. I could use a drink. You want water or soda?"
"Soda."
Kyle stared at the desk and Colt wondered if he was remembering what the two of them had done in
here.
"I'll be right back." He touched Kyle's shoulder lightly as he left the room.
He quickly grabbed the pills and two sodas from the fridge. He glanced at the other pills, wondering
if he should force Kyle to take them or not. He left them sit, figuring he would talk to Kyle about them
first. He didn't want to start demanding Kyle do anything if he didn't need to.
Kyle sat beside the couch, staring out the window when Colt returned. He set the drink down on the
coffee table and handed Kyle the pills. "What about all those other pills? The ones for infection and
depression?"
"I've been taking the ones for infection when I remember. I don't want to take the ones for
depression. They were Carl's idea. I don't need them." Kyle opened the can and took a drink as he
swallowed the pills.
"You telling me you're not depressed?" Colt sat down behind his desk.
Kyle shook his head. "I know I am. I just don't want to take the pills for it."
"Then how do you plan on getting over it? You just going to sit around feeling sorry for yourself the
rest of your life?" Colt hated that every time they talked it seemed like they argued.
"No." Kyle took a deep breath. "I'll get through it."
"By pushing everyone who cares away and quitting a job that you love?"
"I don't want to fight, Colt."
Colt bit his lip. "Me either, Kyle. I'm just worried about you. I don't know how to make this better."
"You can't." Kyle wheeled closer to the desk. "Just be my friend right now. I'm so tired of everyone
telling me what to do. I'm not a child. I can make my own choices. Carl started trying to force me to do
what he wanted and it just made it worse. Then he got the other guys to push me when he couldn't." Kyle
bent forward, resting his arms on the desk as he stared at Colt. "Now he brings me here against my will
like I'm being punished and expects you to push me. I'm tired of everyone trying to control my life."
Colt pinched the top of his nose as he listened, the headache growing worse. He wished he'd grabbed
a few pills for himself. "Is being here really that bad, Kyle?"
"When I don't want to be here, yes."
Colt felt the words cut through him. He wanted to comfort Kyle. Love him. To hear that Kyle didn't
want to be around him was hard, even if he'd already known it. "I'll quit pushing you, but you need to
make an effort to live, too. You don't want to be treated like a child then quit acting like one. Eat. Focus
on your future. You don't want to sing. Fine. Think about what you do want to do. You can't sit around
staring at the walls feeling sorry for yourself forever."
"It’s only been a month."
"And you've lost at least twenty pounds."
Kyle sat back. "Okay. I'll try to eat better, but stop pushing me about the band. This is my choice to
make."
"I won't mention it again." Colt was willing to bite his tongue in exchange for Kyle to eat better.
"Will you let me help you a bit though? Quit looking like you're ashamed when you need me to grab your
chair or carry you up stairs. I don't mind and it won't be forever."
Moisture filled Kyle's eyes. "You don't know how hard it is not to be able to do anything."
"No. I don't. I can't even imagine. I tossed and turned in bed last night, thinking about all that you
can't do right now. But the point is, that is right now. In a few weeks when you get a leg and get stronger
you will be walking around like nothing ever happened."
"I don't know about everything. I've read up on it. There can still be a lot of issues."
"Can be doesn't mean will be."
"You know that's what I loved about you, always looking at the positive side of things."
They stared at each other for a long moment and for a brief instant it was like they were still
together. Colt didn't miss that Kyle said loved not love. The past tense made all the difference in his
reaction.
"I wish some of it rubbed off on you." Colt smiled.
Kyle shrugged.
Shrugging seemed to be Kyle's new response for everything he didn't want to discuss. Colt let it go
and moved on. "So tomorrow morning, will you go with me to Laramie and get another chair? You would
still have to scoot down the stairs or let me carry you, but you can get around on both floors without
having to crawl. I'd like the company."
Kyle rubbed his hand over his head. "I guess. It can't hurt to get another."
"Good. We can get lunch while we are there."
"I don't want to go —" Kyle started.
"Fast food. The best fast food I have ever tasted. I won't drag you in anywhere you don't want to go.
You can go with me to pick out a wheelchair, but besides that, you don't have to leave the truck if you
don't want to." Colt reached over the desk, offering Kyle his hand. "Friends?"
A small smile played at the corners of Kyle's lips as he nodded and extended his hand and took
Colt's. "Friends."
Colt gave Kyle's hand a squeeze and then released it, not wanting to push his luck or make Kyle
think he expected more.
Sure, he wanted more. Hoped that in time, somehow they would be able to get back what they had.
Colt didn't believe for a minute that Kyle didn't still have feelings for him. He had no clue why Kyle
pushed him away. One thing he did know, even if it was slow, he was going to work toward getting him
back.
Kyle opened the refrigerator and stared at the contents, trying to find something he didn't need to
cook. He grabbed a container of yogurt. It would get him by until Colt came back and they had dinner. He
hated that Colt had to do all the cooking, but the one time Kyle had tried to kneel up on his chair and use
the stove, he'd almost killed himself when he slipped.
As he made his way to the table, he thought about how things had changed since he came here close
to a week ago. He still hated that Carl had all but kicked him out and forced him to stay here, but he had
to admit that it was nicer than staying with Carl had been.
Colt kept his word and backed off, and the two of them actually had been able to be civil to each
other. The new wheelchair really helped. Kyle was able to get around on his own without having to rely
on Colt to help him all the time.
For the first time since the accident, he felt calm and didn't feel the panic and fear consume him like
it had at Carl's. Colt and he seemed to have worked out a schedule. They would meet for breakfast and
then Colt would go work and Kyle would do his thing around the house.
His thing didn't consist of much, he read a lot, taking full advantage of Colt's library. He wrote a few
songs that he would hand over to the band when he saw them again. For the most part, he sat staring out
the window, wishing he could go back in time to when things were normal.
Colt always showed up for lunch, making them sandwiches or something. They would eat and Colt
would leave again for several hours before coming back for dinner.
Kyle retreated to his room after dinner, leaving Colt alone to do whatever he wanted. It was bad
enough Carl had all but forced Colt to take Kyle in, the least he could do was stay in his room and make it
as easy for him and not disrupt his time any more than he already was.
He scraped the last of the yogurt from the container, licking it off the spoon. His appetite was
returning. Colt's great cooking didn't hurt, but Kyle felt it was more than that. He and Colt could sit and
eat without Colt hounding him about the band the way Carl had. As much as he hated to admit it, the time
away from Carl was a good thing.
Kyle wheeled back to the kitchen, tossing the yogurt in the garbage and setting the spoon in the sink.
He looked around wondering what to do while he waited for Colt. He wished he could help someway, but
there was nothing he could do.
Being around Colt was hard. He stirred so many emotions that Kyle tossed and turned most nights
with dreams of their time together. He missed his touch and the way things used to be, but all Kyle had to
do was look down at his leg and he found enough reason to keep his distance.
He hadn't let anyone, even Carl, see him with his leg uncovered. The scarring was red and swollen
and the zigzagged scar where the stitches had been, still made his own stomach turn when he stared at it.
The doctor had promised in time it would fade, but Kyle didn't care. He wasn't about to let anyone see
him without pants hiding the stub.
He wasn't complete anymore, and even if it was just a physical part of him that was taken, he felt like
he had lost so much more.
"Kyle?" Colt called from the front door.
"In the kitchen." Kyle wheeled toward the table.
"Hungry?" Colt stepped into the room and smiled.
Kyle looked him over, taking in the dirt and sweat that stained his clothes, making him even more
attractive. His chest tightened. "I just had some yogurt. I'm good for a bit. You okay?"
"Yeah. Need a shower before I start dinner, but I was hoping after we eat I could get you out of the
house for a bit." Colt pushed past him, went to the sink, and started washing his hands.
"Out?"
"Yeah. Thought we could maybe take a ride."
"You want to go for a drive?"
"No, horseback." Colt grinned over his shoulder.
"Oh no. No way. I told you before I've never been on a horse. I'm not about to start now that I can't
even sit on one."
Colt laughed. "I expected you to say just that. You can sit on a horse. It's no different than sitting on
a chair."
"Easy for you to say, you ride daily." Kyle rested his arms on his legs as he watched Colt. "There is
no way I'm getting on a horse."
"I promise you won't fall. You will be safe." Colt turned as he dried his hands on the dishtowel.
Kyle was surprised at how bad he really wanted to learn. He always had, but after the accident, he
figured there wasn't a chance. "Maybe once I get my leg."
"Why not now?"
Kyle looked at him like he was crazy. "Um, I'm missing a leg. I can't hold on."
"Sure you can. You use your thighs more than anything else. You're strong enough."
"I'm not so sure."
"Would you rather ride double? I can sit behind you?"
Kyle couldn't be positive, but he swore he saw Colt's eyes flash with arousal as he suggested it. "Isn't
that too much for the horse?"
"Not at all. We can just go a short distance. Start out around the house and let you get a feel for it. If
you're comfortable we will go a little farther out." Colt moved to stand in front of him. "The fresh air will
do you good. You've been cooped up in the house since you got here."
Kyle's stomach turned nervously. "I don't know."
Colt bent down and placed his hands on Kyle's knees. It was the most contact they had since Colt
lifted him in the truck for the Laramie trip. Kyle glanced down at his hands and took a deep breath. This
was the last thing he needed, but he wanted it. Wanted to get out with Colt, breathe the fresh air and feel
like a normal person for a while.
"Please." Colt grinned.
Kyle laughed. "Fine. We can try, but I don't know how you're even going to get me up on it."
Colt's smile grew bigger. "I have that all planned out." He gave Kyle's knees a gentle squeeze. "Let
me go shower, and then we can do a quick dinner and go." Colt stood. "No changing your mind."
"I won't." Kyle shook his head. "You're going to get me killed."
Colt shook his head. "Nope. I'm going to remind you how to live."
Kyle watched him leave the room and sighed. Only Colt could talk him into doing something as
stupid as getting on a horse. The only reason he was even willing to try, besides the fact he'd always
dreamed of learning to ride, was that he trusted Colt. There wasn't a doubt in his mind that Colt would
protect him.
He could still see the love in Colt's eyes. That was some of the reason Kyle spent so many nights
alone. Looking at Colt brought back too many memories.
Going out with him tonight was probably a mistake. Kyle wheeled to the window and looked out
over the land. He would just have to be strong and forget how things used to be. There was no way he was
going to let Colt see his leg, and that meant he needed to keep his distance.
He grabbed the book he was reading off the table and headed for the living room. He needed to
distract himself. His stomach churned nervously each time he thought about the horse, and if he didn't do
something to get his mind off it, he would do exactly what Colt told him not to and back out.
He reread the same page several times and still had no idea what it said, finally tossing it aside with a
sigh. He had to get hold of Carl soon. He had doctor appointments and wanted to get started on being fit
for his temporary leg as soon as he could. He'd tried to call a couple times but Carl never answered. He
pulled out his phone and tried again, cursing when the phone went to voicemail. He didn't bother with a
message, he had left enough already. Carl was avoiding him.
It hurt, but he understood why. He hadn't been the easiest person to live with over the last month.
Still, as close as he and Carl were, he was surprised by being cut off.
"So what you in the mood to eat?"
Kyle jumped at the sound of Colt's voice.
"Sorry didn't mean to scare you." He nodded to the phone. "Calling for back-up?"
Kyle glanced down at his phone. "Was trying to get hold of Carl, but he's been avoiding my calls all
week."
"He was headed to Michigan to see a friend. Said he would call after his visit."
Kyle frowned. "How is it you know more than I do?"
"He told me the night he dropped you off." Colt pulled some leftover meat from the fridge.
"Sandwich okay with you or do you want something hot?"
"Sandwiches are fine. Can I do anything to help?" Kyle wheeled closer.
"You want to slice some tomato?" Colt pulled the cutting board out and placed it on the kitchen table
before grabbing a knife and then a tomato from the refrigerator.
"Sure." Kyle was glad to have something to do. "So what else did Carl tell you?"
"Not much. Said if it got too bad and I wanted you gone to call him." Colt laughed. "But he told me
not to tell you that part."
"You didn't call him back the next day?"
"I don't give up that easy."
"No, I guess you don't."
"So you want to leave? That why you're trying to get hold of Carl?"
"Not really want to leave, but need to. If my legs healing okay, I can get fit for my first prosthetic in
a week or so. I kinda need to be home to do that." Kyle sliced into the tomato, popping the first piece in
his mouth before cutting more.
"You think your leg is healed?"
"I don't know. It's still red, but the swelling is down."
"How's the pain?"
"It's the phantom pain that is killing me."
"You been taking the pills for that?"
"Some. Not always."
Colt nodded.
Kyle was glad he didn't make an issue out of it.
Colt came over, took the cutting board, and the sliced tomato back to the counter. "I can call Carl
tomorrow. I'm sure he will answer for me."
"If you don't mind. It's not that I don't appreciate all you have done for me, but I really want out of
this chair." Kyle wheeled over to where Colt worked.
"I understand. I would want out too if I was in it." Colt glanced down at him. "You think you might
come back to visit sometime?"
Kyle wanted to say yes, but shook his head. "I don't know."
"You given any thoughts what you want to do if you don't sing?" Colt handed a plate with a
sandwich on it to Kyle, and then grabbed his own, along with a bag of chips from the counter.
Kyle set his plate on his lap and wheeled himself to the table. "I don't know. I've written a couple
new songs since I've been here, might try to sell some. I'll give a couple to the band. Until I know how
well the leg works I can't really plan."
Colt set two drinks down on the table and took a seat. "Maybe I can get you to sing me the songs
later?"
"They aren't ballads." Kyle took a large bite of his sandwich.
"I don't care. I've heard you in concert. I enjoy it all. I listen to the CD you gave me all the time."
"You do?"
"Yeah, why wouldn't I?"
"I just thought after I… After we broke up, you might not want anything to do with the band." Kyle
kept his eyes lowered to his plate.
"Just because you don't want to be with me anymore doesn't mean I hate everything about you. I like
the music, I like the band, and I like the memories."
Kyle sucked in a breath. He didn't need this conversation. Didn't want to risk where it could go. "So
did you get that fence finished today?"
Colt seemed to let the change of topic go. "Yeah, I did. I have to head out tomorrow and check on a
cow that was caught up in the barbed wire if you want to ride along. Won't take too long. One of my
hands is out of town and the others wife went into labor tonight, so I'm on my own the rest of the week."
"How come they never come by?"
"They do. But I asked them not to. I didn't think you wanted the company yet."
Kyle was touched that Colt knew him well enough to not bring people around. He raised his gaze up
to Colt's. "Thanks. You're right."
"I don't want you uncomfortable. I wish you weren't so self-conscious, but I respect your privacy and
won't do anything to make you feel awkward."
"Other than put me on a horse."
"You're worried about nothing."
"We'll see." Kyle grinned as he started to eat.
Colt led the horse from the barn and smiled at Kyle who was sitting in his wheelchair, up on the front
porch. He was still shocked that Kyle agreed so easily to going out. Colt expected a much bigger fight to
get him on the horse.
As Kyle stared at the horse nervously, Colt hoped that Kyle's willingness to ride meant he was
starting to accept things, and maybe move back into the world of the living and leave his anger behind. It
was all Colt could do to bite his tongue and not press issues, but Kyle seemed to be moving forward
without too much pushing.
"You remember Briff?" Colt led his horse up beside the porch.
"Your horse, right?" Kyle gripped the wheels of his chair as if he was ready to make a quick escape.
"Yep."
"And just how do you expect me to get on him?"
"Easy." Colt tied the horse to the edge of the porch and then went up to stand beside Kyle. "The
porch is the perfect height. If you stand, you should be able to swing your leg over her and slide on
without too much trouble. I'll be right here to help support you."
Kyle shook his head. "I'm not so sure this is a good idea."
"You already agreed to give it a try. No backing out now." Colt laid his hand on Kyle's shoulder. "I
promise I won't let anything happen. Trust me."
Kyle took a long breath. "I do."
Colt was pleased to hear that. He wasn't quite sure where he stood with Kyle anymore, and hearing
him talk about leaving earlier was hard, but at least they hadn't drifted so far apart that the trust was gone.
"I'm going to get him right against the edge of the porch and then you wheel up beside him. Once you are
ready, I'll help you stand. Ready?"
"No." Kyle moved his chair to the edge where Colt maneuvered the horse.
"Okay, Briff won't move. You just stand and use me for support. When you're ready, slide your
injured leg over him, and slide onto his back."
Kyle glanced up nervously. "How did I let you talk me into this?"
"It didn't take much. I think you want out of the house more than you admit." Colt brushed his hand
down Kyle's back. "Ready?"
"Yeah." Kyle pushed up out of the chair, supporting his weight on one leg while holding on to Colt's
arm.
Colt noticed how shaky Kyle's legs were and wondered if he would be strong enough to walk once
he got his new leg. It was something he would have to discuss with Kyle later. He wasn't about to bring it
up now and risk Kyle backing out of the ride.
"Okay. Now slide your leg over his back and then just ease on. Once you're comfortable I will slip
on behind you. I won't let you fall."
Kyle stared at the horse for several moments before he took a single hop to get closer and then
slowly lifted his shortened leg over the back of the horse. He glanced up at Colt as he slid into the saddle.
"It's okay, I have you." Colt kept a tight grip on Kyle's arm and his other arm around his waist as he
settled. "Feel okay?"
"I think." Kyle gripped the saddle horn tightly.
"Slide your foot into the stirrup."
"The what?"
Colt laughed. "Here." He knelt down and helped Kyle ease his foot into the stirrup. "Do you feel
centered?"
"I think so." Kyle looked up at him, his eyes still showing a bit of fear. "You sure he can hold us
both?"
"He will be fine. He can hold a lot more than us." Colt untied the horse from the porch. "I'm going to
get behind you. It will be a bit tight. Let me know if you're uncomfortable." Colt eased down behind
Kyle, shifting as he found the other stir-up with his foot and got as comfortable as he could.
Being so close to Kyle sent chills through his body and he shivered. He closed his eyes a moment,
reminding himself that Kyle planned to leave soon and still didn't want to be together. It was something
he needed to accept and deal with, no matter how much he hated it.
"You sure this is safe?" Kyle still had a death grip on the saddle horn.
"Yes. I promise." Colt reached for the reins that sat on the horn, his hand brushing against Kyle's. He
felt Kyle tense and smiled, pleased that his touch still caused a response in Kyle. "Ready? We'll just go
around the barn first and let you get a feel."
"Slow."
"Slow." Colt grinned as he gave the horse a soft kick and he started to move.
Kyle's thighs tightened around the horse and he pressed back into Colt as if seeking protection. Colt
rested one hand on Kyle's hip as he used the other for the reins and led Briff away from the house. "Relax,
I won't go any faster than this for now."
Kyle shook his head. "Just don't let go."
"I won't." Colt wished it wasn't because of fear that Kyle was asking him to hold on.
Colt focused on Kyle as he led the horse slowly around the yard. As they made if farther from the
house and started to turn around the side of the barn he felt Kyle relax against him. He smiled, hoping that
Kyle would enjoy it and want to go farther out on the ranch.
"It's not as jerky as I thought it would be." Kyle sat up straighter.
Colt resisted the urge to pull Kyle back against him. "We are going slowly now. When you're ready,
I will pick up the pace a bit." He let the horse wander aimlessly as Kyle got used to the feel. "You want to
try going out a bit farther?"
Kyle nodded. "Yeah, this isn't so bad."
Colt stared at the back of Kyle's head, wishing he still had his long hair. He closed his eyes,
remembering the way it felt in his hand. With a shake of his head, he pushed the memory back. It
wouldn't do any good to dwell in the past. Not with Kyle leaving soon.
"Okay, we'll head out a bit. Let me know if you want to turn back or if you're in pain."
"I will, but this is kind of nice." Kyle once again relaxed back against Colt's chest. "I can see why
you enjoy it so much."
Colt let go of Kyle's waist, moved his arm around Kyle, and rested his hand against his thigh. "I'd
rather take a horse over my truck any day." Colt bent forward, inhaling the scent of Kyle.
"I thought it would be more work."
"Not when you have a good horse. You let the horse do the work."
Kyle sat silent for several minutes before glancing over his shoulder at Colt. "Thank you for making
me try this."
"I didn't make you do anything."
"No, you never do. That's what is so nice about being here. You haven't pushed me at all."
Colt smiled. "Not that I haven't wanted to."
"I just needed some time to get used to losing my leg. Carl wanted me to jump right back into life. I
couldn't do it. I was scared. Still am," he admitted softly.
"It's okay to be scared." Colt bent forward and brushed his mouth over Kyle's neck. It was too hard
to be this close and not touch him, not express how he was feeling.
Kyle straightened. "Colt."
Colt tightened his arm, resting his hand on Kyle's stomach as he bent forward and nipped at Kyle's
earlobe. "I've fought this, Kyle. I can't fight it anymore," Colt whispered the words against Kyle's ear.
Kyle moaned softly, but pulled away. "I can't. We can't." Kyle bent forward over the saddle.
"Why not? Don't tell me you don't feel it. Don't lie to me and tell me you don't still feel something
for me." Colt caressed his fingers over Kyle's stomach where he still held him. He prayed silently that
Kyle wouldn't push him away.
The horse continued walking at a slow pace, but Colt didn't even bother to control where. There were
only so many places the horse could go on the ranch. He focused on the man in his arms and how to get
him back.
"You don't understand." Kyle placed his hand over Colt's, stilling his fingers. "Don't make this any
harder than it already is."
"You're right. I don't understand. I didn't understand a month ago, and I still don't. Explain to me
why we can't. It doesn't have to be hard."
"But it is. I don't want to do this, Colt. I don't want to be with anyone right now." Kyle sounded
miserable.
Colt wished he could see Kyle's face. "Right now? Does that mean we have a chance later?"
"Why can't you just let it go?"
"Because I love you, and I'm miserable without you. Do you know how hard it is to have you
sleeping in the room next to mine when I want nothing more than to come crawl into bed with you and
hold you all night? To see the sadness in your eyes all the time and not be able to pull you in my arms and
comfort you? I want to be the one who makes you laugh and smile again."
"But what if I don't want it? Does that matter at all?"
"Is that really your wish? For me to leave you alone? Forget everything we had?"
Kyle sat silent.
"I don't know what you feel, Kyle, but I know what I do. I won't push you anymore, but know I'm
here. All you have to do is ask. My feelings for you haven't changed." Colt took a deep breath and gently
pulled Kyle back against his chest. "Let me at least hold you as we ride. I won't ask for more."
He felt when Kyle finally gave in and his body relaxed back against him. Colt took what he could. It
wasn't what he wanted, but for now it would have to be enough. He tightened his arm around Kyle and
gave the horse another kick and picked up their speed. He didn't have a destination in mind, but with Kyle
in his arms he didn't need one.
Kyle sat by the window in the living room looking outside. Colt would be back in a couple hours, but
until then Kyle was bored. He hoped they might go for another ride tonight. In all his life he would have
never guessed he would enjoy horseback riding, but he found it brought him a peace and escape nothing
else had over the last few weeks.
Part of that was being in Colt's arms again. The simple touch of his hand and brush of his lips had
almost broken him. He'd been so close to giving in and allowing Colt back into his life.
Kyle laughed. Who was he kidding? Colt had been a part of his life the whole time. No matter how
hard he tried to deny it, he was still in love with him. He always would be. But once again, the sight of his
leg gave him that extra bit of strength to hold back and push Colt away.
He closed his eyes, remembering the way Colt held him, splayed his fingers over his chest as they
rode and just talked. He pointed out things around the ranch and Kyle watched amazed at how big the
place was. They hadn't gone far. Colt was worried about Kyle becoming sore, but if Kyle had his way,
they would have stayed out all night.
He would miss the ranch when he left.
He would miss Colt.
Pushing away from the window with a heavy sigh, he went to the door and wheeled out into the hall.
There had to be something to do to keep his mind busy while he waited for Colt to return. He headed
toward the office and wheeled himself inside.
Colt had moved the furniture around to make it easier for him to get his wheelchair in and out of the
tighter spaces. Kyle smiled thinking about how much Colt did for him, and how much easier things were
here than they had ever been at Carl's.
He owed Colt a lot, but once he left here, it would be best to just leave everything in the past. He
didn't want to hang on. Give Colt any false hope that things might change.
Wheeling himself to the desk, he eyed Colt's laptop. Even though Colt offered to let him use it any
time he wanted, it was still awkward. He didn't want Colt to think he was snooping through his business.
Still, Kyle wanted to look up some information on what his new leg would be like and what to
expect once he got it. Wheeling himself behind the desk, he booted up the computer and waited for it to
load. He glanced at the bills and papers on the desk while he waited.
Once it was up, he went to click on the browser link, but another link caught his eye before he could.
It was labeled Kyle. Curious he clicked on it and immediately wished he hadn't as a screen flashed up and
the video they had made together started to play.
Kyle stared at the images, remembering them as if they had happened today. The laughter and the
way they joked made him smile before the sounds of pleasure replaced the laughing. Kyle's cock stirred
as he watched Colt kneel down behind him, spread him, and… Kyle shook his head. He didn't want to
watch this, but he couldn't turn away.
What had his attention even more than the pleasure that they shared, was the one thing Kyle would
never have again, his leg. He stared at his able body in the video as a sense of loss washed through him.
He would never have guessed that a video made in fun would be the last images of his whole body that he
would have.
Tears filled his eyes and he pinched his nose as he tried to hold them back. How easily they moved
from one position to another. How many times had Colt grabbed his legs and pulled him back to him. All
things that Kyle couldn't do now.
He wiped at his cheeks, unable to hold the tears back as he continued to watch. He should just turn it
off, but at the same time he needed to see himself as he once was.
"Kyle?"
Kyle glanced up as Colt stepped into the room and rushed to his desk. Even if he tried, Kyle wouldn't
have time to turn off the video before Colt saw it. He blinked at the tears and shook his head. "Sorry, I
shouldn't have…" He pushed back from the desk.
Colt gripped the back of his chair, holding him there. "What's wrong? Why the tears?" He glanced at
the screen and then at Kyle.
Kyle sighed. Colt probably thought he was crying over them. Honestly, maybe some of it was, but it
was the sight of his leg that had pushed him over the edge. Kyle sniffed and looked away. "I'm fine."
"No you're not. I've never seen you cry. Something is bothering you. Talk to me, Kyle. Let me help."
Colt clasped his hand around Kyle's arm. "Don't do this alone. You don't have to. Let me help you
through whatever it is you're dealing with."
Kyle brushed more tears from his face. "It was my leg. Seeing my leg." Saying the words out loud
pushed the last barrier away and a flood of emotions swept forth. Anger, fear, resentment and hate all
caused him to shake and sob even harder. Everything he'd been so good at holding in for the last month
spilled forward and he lost all control of his emotions.
It only made him angrier to lose it in front of Colt. Colt was the last person he wanted to appear
weak in front of. He tried to pull away again, but Colt's hand gripped firm.
"Don't. Don't push me away. Not this time." Colt pushed the chair around so he knelt in front of Kyle
and pulled him into his arms.
Kyle gave in as he fell against Colt's shoulder and cried. Cried for the first time since the accident.
His chest heaved, and tears fell as his fingers clung to the back of Colt's shirt.
"It's okay. Let it out." Colt caressed his back with one hand and held the chair with the other. "It's
okay to grieve, to be angry. You don't need to hold this all in."
"I'll never be the same." Kyle pulled back. "I'll never do all the stuff I used to do."
Colt shook his head. "It might take time, practice, but you can do it all again. I can't think of anything
that you can't do in time."
"Make love." Kyle whispered and then hung his head, wishing the words had never come out.
"Never mind. It's stupid." Kyle once again tried to wheel back, but Colt didn't release the chair.
"Is that what you're worried about? Sex?" Colt reached out and lifted Kyle's chin so he had no choice
but to look at him. "You're worried you won't be able to have sex?"
Kyle bowed his head into his hands. This was not a conversation he wanted to have with Colt. He
should have just stayed locked up in his room and never came out. "I don't want to talk about this."
"I haven't pushed you on anything, Kyle, but I need to know. Is this why you ended things with me?
Because of sex?" Colt continued to hold the chair so Kyle couldn't move.
Kyle shoved Colt back. "I can't, okay. Just let it be."
"No. We need to talk about this. I've suffered for a month wondering why you ended things. I
deserve to know."
Colt's voice stayed calm, but Kyle heard the hurt in it.
How did he explain? How did he tell Colt that he was embarrassed, ashamed of his body and didn't
want anyone to see him now? He glanced up at him and shook his head.
"Kyle, you used to tell me everything. Why can't you tell me this?"
"Because you won't understand."
"Try me."
Kyle took a shaky breath and slowly let it out. "It's so ugly Colt. I can't even look at it without
feeling sick. There's no way I could…" He shook his head and tried to pull back. When Colt didn't let
him, he looked up. "Let me go, Colt."
"Show me." Colt held his stare. "Show me how bad it is. Let me decide for myself."
"I can't."
"You won't." Colt reached for the hollow leg of Kyle's pant leg.
"Please, Colt." Kyle glanced at the door, hating that he couldn't just up and walk out. Runaway.
"Do you think I won't want you after I see it?"
Kyle nodded.
Colt cupped Kyle's face. "I love you. I don't care about how it looks. I don't care about your legs,
your body. What I fell in love with is here." Colt placed his palm against Kyle's chest. "And here." He
touched a fingertip to his temple. "That's not going to change because of a leg." His hand slowly slid to
the bottom of the pant leg and started to push it up.
Kyle panicked, reaching down and grabbing Colt's hand before he could expose the end of his leg.
"Let me see, Kyle." Colt kept his eyes on Kyle's face. "This is going to bother you until you do. Even
if it doesn't change things between us, you need to get past this." Colt took Kyle's hand and moved it
aside. "You said you trust me. Trust me now. Trust me with this."
Kyle turned his head and stared out the window. He didn't want to see Colt's reaction when he saw it.
It would kill him to see Colt look at him in disgust.
Colt pushed the pant leg up and bared the end of the stub. His fingers folded the pant leg over until it
rested above Kyle's knee.
Kyle waited for him to turn away.
"Look at me, Kyle." Colt's palm caressed over the end of Kyle's leg for a moment and then his
fingertip traced the scars along the end. "There is nothing to be ashamed of. It's still you, Kyle. It's not
horrible. It's just different."
Kyle gasped as Colt bent down and kissed the end of his leg.
Colt glanced up at him and smiled. "Seeing it doesn't change how I feel about you."
Kyle cleared his throat. "It's just so ugly. How could you want me after seeing that?"
Colt released his leg and braced his hands on Kyle's thighs. "Because I love who you are, not what
you look like. Do you think me so shallow that I would let this end what we had?"
Kyle shook his head. "I wanted to make it easy for you. I knew you wouldn't say anything about it,
so I had to. I didn't want you staying with me out of pity."
"I swear I should punch you for thinking I would do that. For making me suffer the last month
without you." Colt once again cupped Kyle's cheek in his palm. "Kiss me, Kyle."
Kyle hesitated. One kiss would lead to more and he didn't have the energy to fight it anymore. He
stared at Colt, scared and unsure what to do. There was no doubt Colt loved him, but was it fair to make
him suffer being together now that Kyle wasn't whole.
"Stop doubting. Just feel." Colt bent forward and brushed his lips softly over Kyle's.
Kyle gripped the side of his chair as Colt's lips moved over his. The kiss was soft and testing, almost
as if Colt was as scared as he was. Kyle closed his eyes as the last bit of resolve fled and he lifted his arms
to Colt's shoulders and kissed him back.
Colt smiled against the kiss as he pulled Kyle closer, tugging against his mouth and sliding his
tongue over Kyle's lips.
Kyle opened for him, savoring the taste he'd missed for so long as their tongues danced against each
other and the kiss deepened. Kyle's body relaxed as Colt caressed his hand down back and moaned
against his mouth.
The kiss ended too soon. Kyle sat back as Colt pulled away, staring at him with a mix of awe and
fear. He touched his lip with his finger as he willed his pulse to return to a safe beat.
"Do you still love me?" Colt asked softly.
Kyle nodded. "I've never stopped."
Colt bowed his head and let out a relieved breath. "Thank God." He looked back up and reached his
hand out for Kyle's. "Does this mean we can try again? Do you want me in your life?"
"I don't want you to suffer because of me."
"I suffer being without you."
Kyle bit his lip and shook his head. "You deserve someone who is whole. Not someone like me who
can't do anything. Who will slow you down, keep you from things."
"Kyle, I want you. I don't care about everything else. We will find a way." He took Kyle's leg in his
hand. "This will only slow you down for a while. In no time at all you will be up and moving like you
always were." His fingers pressed over the ugly scar. "Let me decide what I deserve and what I want."
Kyle watched Colt rub his fingers over his leg and tears once again burned his eyes. He tried to blink
them away. "It won't be the same."
"We won't?"
"Sex won't."
Colt laughed. "I don't care about the sex. I love you. Sex or no sex." He reached up and wiped a tear
from Kyle's cheek. "I don't see how it won't be the same. I make love to you, not your leg."
Kyle nodded at the video that had ended on the computer. "Do you know how many times you
grabbed my leg in that?"
Colt grinned. "I grabbed your hair, too. We will make do with what we have. I want you in my arms,
I want to stare into your eyes. I want to hear you laugh when I do this." Colt ticked his fingers against
Kyle's side.
Kyle laughed and jerked away from his hand. "You're sure you can deal with this?"
Colt nodded. "I've never had doubts. Did you really think I would leave you because of this?" He
gave Kyle's leg a gentle squeeze.
"I thought you would once you saw it. It was easier to let you go myself than to have you dump me
later."
"You're a fool to think that way." Colt kissed him again.
Kyle gave into the kiss, letting all his apprehension and fear go. He needed Colt and pushing him
away hurt too much.
Colt's touch was so familiar that it was as if they had never been apart. His scent wrapped around
Kyle and the stress and anger he carried started to ebb. He pulled back and licked Colt's taste from his
lips. "I'm sorry."
Colt ran his fingers over Kyle's short hair. "It's okay. I understand why you did it. I just wish you had
more faith in us. In my love for you." He tilted his head to the side and gave a small smile. "So are we
okay? Do I have you back?"
"At least part of me." Kyle lifted his amputated leg up, trying to make a lame joke.
"Someday I will get you to forget that damn leg and realize you're whole without it." Colt stood.
"Help me cook?"
Kyle rolled his pant leg back down and nodded. He was glad that Colt didn't rush them to bed. Kyle
wasn't so sure he was ready. He smiled as Colt wheeled him from the office to the kitchen. Colt always
seemed to know exactly what to do. He understood Kyle in a way no other ever had.
As Colt parked the chair by the stove, Kyle glanced up at him. He was crazy to think he could walk
away from Colt. Maybe Colt was right after all, it wasn't his leg that left him feeling incomplete. It was
being apart from Colt.
Colt watched as Kyle rode Briff around the barn. He grinned as Kyle glanced over at him before
turning the corner and disappearing for a few seconds. It took some coaxing, but he finally got Kyle to
agree to try it solo. That was over an hour ago and Kyle had been riding Briff ever since.
Kyle looked relaxed and in control and Colt hoped that it would help build his confidence that he
could still do anything without his leg. More than anything, he figured Kyle was just happy to be out of
the chair for a change.
Colt picked absently at the peeling paint on the barn as he watched. He was tempted to saddle up
another horse and join Kyle, but figured it was already starting to get dark and they would do better to go
out another day when they could get an early start.
Neither of them had mentioned what happened in the office earlier, but Colt was relieved that Kyle
didn't seem upset that he had forced the issue of seeing his leg. It wasn't as bad as he expected it to look,
but he still had to hide his reaction. Not because it was disgusting, but seeing Kyle injured and thinking
about what he had been through, cut through Colt's heart like a knife.
He couldn't protect Kyle from this and that was hard. He wanted to take the pain away and make
everything okay.
As Kyle made another turn around the barn, Colt wondered what the night would bring. He planned
on asking Kyle to move into his room, but he didn't want to push things with him. Still, the thought of
holding him in his arms all night again caused his pulse to race. He missed him so much.
"I think I could get used to this." Kyle walked the horse over to him.
"We can go out anytime you want." Colt took hold of the bridle as he looked up at Kyle. "I'm
looking forward to taking you on a long ride so we can come back and I can massage your sore ass."
Kyle laughed. "Figures you only want to go so you can get your hands on my ass."
Colt shrugged. "What can I say, I've missed touching you."
Kyle lowered his eyes. "I've missed it, too."
"Does that mean I can convince you to move into my room?"
"You sure you want to deal with this?" Kyle swung his leg out from the side of the horse.
"There is nothing to deal with." Colt touched the leg gently.
"Help me off here and we can talk about it." Kyle set the reins on the saddle horn.
Colt turned to grab the wheelchair and placed it beside them and then reached up and hooked one
arm around Kyle's waist. He let Kyle ease off the horse with his good leg, but was there to support his
weight as he pulled his leg from the stirrup. Kyle settled to the ground and with Colt's help and a couple
hops, he was back in the chair.
"Thanks." Kyle shifted to get comfortable.
"No problem. Come in the barn while I unsaddle Briff." He took hold of the horse. "So you think you
could be a rancher?"
"I think it takes more skill than riding a horse to be a rancher." Kyle parked by the stalls.
"I can teach you."
Kyle shook his head. "Think I will leave ranching up to you. Not saying I won't help out and learn,
but just can't see myself living it day to day."
Colt wondered what that meant for their future. Kyle would get bored here with him after a while
and he hadn't shown any interest in going back on tour. Colt lifted the saddle from the horse and then
pulled the blankets off the back of the horse. "Still no idea what you want to do once you recover?"
Kyle frowned. "Not until I see how bad it is with the new leg. Probably something where I don't have
to move a lot."
"Can't see you sitting behind a desk all day."
"Me either, but what else can I do now?"
"I'm sure you'll find something." Colt brushed down Briff before leading him into the stall. Once he
had fed and watered him, he turned back to Kyle. "I think we have some ice cream left. Want some?"
"Sounds good. I was also hoping you might make that call to Carl." Kyle started to wheel out of the
barn toward the house.
Colt stepped behind him and started pushing the wheelchair over the uneven dirt. Calling Carl meant
Kyle would be leaving, and even though they seemed to have worked through their issues, Colt feared
that once he left, Kyle wouldn't return.
"Sure, we can call him as we eat."
"I'm going to be pissed if he answers for you." Kyle smiled up at Colt.
Colt parked the chair beside the steps and lifted Kyle out. Once he had him in his arms, he rubbed his
nose against Kyle's neck and pulled him tight to his chest. "He did what he thought was best for you."
"Forcing me to do things against my will is not the best thing."
Colt carried Kyle up onto the porch and into the house. "Maybe not, but he was worried about you."
Colt set Kyle in a chair at the kitchen table. "And his plan seemed to work. You're gaining weight and
don't seem as depressed as you were when he booted your ass out."
Kyle huffed but smiled. "I'm still mad at him."
"You can tell him that when we call. I'll be right back. Going to grab your chair."
Twenty minutes later, they both pushed back their empty ice cream bowls and Colt pulled out his
phone. "You want to call from my phone or want me to?"
Kyle looked at the phone and then back at Colt. "You better. He might hang up on me, thinking I
stole your phone."
"You must have really been a pain for him."
Kyle shrugged. "He kept trying to force me to do things. He wanted me to pick up as if nothing
happened. He wouldn't listen to a thing I said. Once he started getting the band to hound me, I was done. I
wasn't the most pleasant person to be around."
"I want to ask you something before you talk to him." Colt's grip tightened on his phone.
"What?"
"If we are going to be together, try to make this work. Well I was thinking maybe you might move in
with me." He saw Kyle frown and held up his hand. "I don't want to rush you into anything, but you know
how I feel about you. It's just something I'm throwing out there. The choice is yours. We will make this
work no matter where you live." Seeing the look on Kyle's face, Colt wished he hadn't mentioned it.
Obviously, Kyle didn't feel the same way he did. "Never mind, it was just an idea." He started searching
his phone for Carl's number.
"Wait." Kyle reached over and took the phone from his hand and set it back on the table. "I promised
you I would try and face my fear. Other than me losing my leg, nothing should be different between us,
right? It should be just like it was before the accident."
Colt wondered where Kyle was going with this. "That's how I hoped it would be when I came to
Texas. Nothing has changed for me, Kyle."
Kyle reached across the table for Colt's hand. "Then that's how it should be. I wouldn't have hesitated
to move in with you before the accident, I shouldn't hesitate now." Kyle glanced down at his leg. "I'm
scared you're going to decide this is more than you can deal with. You're going to want someone
complete. I don't feel like I'm enough for you anymore."
Colt covered Kyle's hand with his other one. "Then let me prove you're enough. Let me remind you
how much I love you. Move in with me, Kyle. We can find a doctor in Laramie or Cheyenne. You don't
need to leave."
"You're sure?" Kyle looked hesitant.
Not about to lose him again he tightened the grip on his hand. "I'm sure. Call Carl and tell him you're
staying."
"We can call him tomorrow." Kyle pulled his hand back.
Colt's chest tightened, scared Kyle was still having doubts. Putting off calling Carl gave him an out.
Nothing was final until he told someone they were back together.
"I want you to take me to bed. Your bed." Kyle smiled.
Colt stood and had Kyle in his arms before Kyle could react. "Our bed, Kyle. It's our bed."
Kyle's heart pounded as Colt carried him upstairs and to his room. He didn't even bother closing the
door. He set Kyle on the bed and pressed him back, crawling over him.
"I wasn't sure I would ever get to love you like this again." Colt dipped his head, and closed the
space between them, kissing Kyle hard.
Kyle wrapped his arms around Colt, welcoming the weight of his body against his own. He'd felt
alone for so long. Fear still crept into his mind, worry that Colt would change his mind once he saw him
naked and got his first good look at his leg. He forced the thought back and focused on the way Colt's
mouth felt against him as it trailed over his jaw.
Colt's fingers slid up Kyle's chest, pushing the shirt up with them. The touch of his fingers against his
skin was like a searing burn that caused Kyle to gasp in response. His body's reaction was just as strong as
his cock pressed hard against his pants.
"Lift up." Colt pulled at his shirt.
Kyle went up on his arms so Colt could pull the shirt over his head. Then fell back, his own hands
going to Colt's shirt and working the snaps open one by one. It felt like the first time all over again.
Nervousness fighting with his arousal as they slowly undressed each other.
Colt shrugged his shirt from his shoulders and groaned as Kyle reached up and pinched at his
nipples. "I have missed this."
"Me, too." Kyle smiled up at him.
Colt straddled his legs and Kyle lifted his hips, letting Colt feel just how aroused he was. He shifted
his hips back and forth, rubbing up against him.
"You want me to come before we even undress?" Colt's fingers went to the waistband of Kyle's
sweats and briefs, and started to push them down.
Kyle froze in fear as he felt the cool air hit his hips and the gentle brush of Colt's hands against his
skin. This was the moment of truth. Colt would finally see him naked, incomplete and scarred. He closed
his eyes as Colt settled back and pulled the pants from his good leg and then the injured one.
He expected hesitation, but the moment Colt had the clothes off his body, he tossed them aside and
continued to lavish Kyle's body. It was like the leg didn't even matter and Kyle let out a soft sigh of relief
as Colt nipped at his nipple and then licked down his stomach.
His cock swelled at the feel of Colt's chest pressing against it. Reaching down, Kyle ran his fingers
through Colt's hair and urged him lower. He'd dreamt about this for over a month, thought it would never
happen again. His body trembled as Colt grasped his hips and settled between his legs, kissing over his
thighs for a moment before lifting Kyle's cock in his hand and bringing it to his mouth.
"Oh shit." Kyle moaned as Colt looked up at him and slid his mouth over the head of his cock.
The warm wetness encased him and slid lower. Kyle lifted his hips as he fisted at Colt's hair. A week
ago, he would have sworn he would never have sex again, but here he was, with the man he loved, feeling
like nothing could ever be more perfect in the world.
Colt's tongue circled around him as his lips pressed over the ridged shaft. Colt hadn't forgotten where
Kyle was most sensitive and as Colt worked his mouth over those spots, Kyle fought for control of his
growing need for release.
Colt's fingers found his balls and teased them as he continued to work his mouth over Kyle's cock.
Kyle's chest heaved and his stomach tightened as his balls grew heavier and his orgasm built. Colt's gaze
was locked with his, his eyes filled with a heated love that Kyle would never find from any other.
"I'm gonna come." Kyle pressed his hand to the back of Colt's head as he thrust up into his mouth.
"Don't stop." Kyle's head fell back as his body tensed and he exploded harder than he ever had before.
His cock pulsed in Colt's mouth. Colt swallowed hard and continued sucking and licking until Kyle
fell limp on the bed, gasping for air.
"I love watching you get off." Colt crawled up his body to kiss him.
Kyle sucked at Colt's lips and slid his tongue into his mouth, enjoying the feel of his post orgasmic
bliss. Colt's hands continued to caress him and Kyle could feel him hard against his thigh.
"I want inside you," Colt whispered.
"Then take me." Kyle slid his hands over Colt's back and smiled. "It's been too long."
Colt rolled to the side and reached into the nightstand to pull out a bottle of lube. He clicked the top
open and poured a generous amount over his palm before smearing it over his cock. He then drizzled
some over Kyle's ass, working two fingers inside him to ease his entry.
Kyle tried to forget his leg as Colt worked his fingers inside him, but he kept going to press up
against Colt's fingers, and the ugly reminder that his leg was missing would hit him as he tried to use a
foot that was no longer there to support his body.
He bit his lip, glad that Colt was staring at his cock and not down at his leg.
Fingers spread his ass and he welcomed the distraction as he turned his attention to Colt's hand
working over his own cock. It glistened with the slick lube and Kyle watched the head peek in and out of
Colt's fist.
"You ready for me?" Colt bent down and kissed him again, trailing his tongue over his lips.
"Fuck yes." Kyle arched up, pressing his ass down against Colt's fingers.
Colt grinned as he pulled his fingers from him and moved between his legs. He angled his cock in
his fist and teased the head against Kyle's ass. "I don't know how long I'll last, I want you too bad."
"I don't care." Kyle reached up and caressed Colt's cheek. He just wanted to be one with Colt, feel
the closeness they two of them had avoided the last few weeks. Wanted to give Colt the same pleasure
that he just felt with his release.
"God, you are still the sexiest thing I have ever seen." Colt pushed his cock forward and Kyle's ass
parted.
Kyle sucked in a breath, feeling the burn as Colt slid deeper. He reached down and cupped his
sensitive balls, holding them tight as Colt gave a final shove and rested deep inside him. They stared at
each other for several moments before Colt leaned forward, almost lying on top of Kyle and started to
move.
Kyle caught Colt's mouth with his, kissing him for several minutes as his body adjusted to the feel of
Colt inside him. When Colt pulled back, their gazes locked and they worked their bodies together.
Kyle hooked his legs around Colt's waist, pulling him closer, ignoring the fact that one leg didn't
function as well as the other. It didn't matter right now. All that mattered was the way Colt was spearing
into him, forcing Kyle to grip the bed with his hands to keep from pressing back into the headboard. The
whole bed rocked, and they both grunted and gasped with each stroke.
Sweat formed on Colt's forehead and Kyle reached up to brush it away. Colt caught his fingers in his
mouth, sucking on them for several moments.
Why had he denied himself this, pushed Colt away? This is what he needed. Who he needed. To
think that he could live life without Colt was as good as giving himself a death sentence. It was Colt that
completed him.
"I love you." Kyle cried as his head hit the headboard and Colt gave a loud groan
"I love —" Colt's voice trailed off as his muscles contracted and he gripped Kyle's legs and lost
himself as his cock pulsed and he filled Kyle with his seed.
Kyle watched Colt come and smiled, reaching up to scratch his fingers down Colt's chest. "How I
ever thought I could live without you…" He encased Colt in his arms as he fell forward. "Don't ever let
me try to push you away again."
"Never." Colt rested against his shoulder, his cock still pulsing inside of Kyle. "I should have stayed
in Texas. Forced the issue with you then. I didn't understand what it was that caused you to push me
away. You were pretty convincing."
Kyle frowned and tightened his arms around Colt. "I'm sorry for that. I just wanted to be alone then.
Part of me wanted to just give up and die. I needed the time."
Colt shifted and pulled out of Kyle, rolling to his side. "I know you're mad that Carl dropped you off
here like he did, but I have to tell you, I can't thank him enough. I'm not sure you would have ever come
on your own."
Kyle shook his head. "Probably not. It wasn't that I didn't love you, want to be with you, but you
were part of who I used to be and I didn't think I was that same person anymore."
Colt looked up at him, resting his head on his arm. "You still want to quit the band?"
Kyle dropped his head back into the pillow with a sigh. "I don't know. I'm so scared that the leg will
fail. I'll make a fool of myself on stage. Trip over something. I know it's stupid, but I have nightmares
about it happening."
Colt kissed his shoulder. "You don't know what the leg will be like. There are athletes who do
amazing things with prosthetics every day. If they can make it work, I'm sure you can to."
Kyle closed his eyes and rested his arm over his forehead. "What if everyone looks at me like I'm a
freak?"
"How will they know?"
Kyle glanced at him. "You haven't been reading the websites lately have you? It's all there. Someone
from the hospital or something had to have told them. They have pictures of the accident and everything
posted. It's one of the reasons I keep my leg hidden. People would go nuts to get a shot of me now."
"Serious?" Colt looked disgusted.
"I don't know if I have it in me to go out there and face it all again."
"Do you want to sing? Is that what you want to do? Forget the leg for a minute. Were you happy up
on stage?"
"You know I was. It was my dream."
"Then don't give it up. Don't let this…" Colt motioned to his leg. "Stop you from being who you are.
Doing what you love. Fuck everyone else and what they think. You should stand up and show them that
something like this won't stop you. That you can overcome it." Colt traced his finger over Kyle's chest.
"Think of it this way, what about the kid who loses his leg and sees you out there in a few years kicking
ass and touring. He will know that he can do it, too. You will inspire him."
"You make it sound so easy." Kyle sighed. "What if I can't perform like I used to?"
"So what. I don't see why you can't, but if you have to sit on a stool at the microphone and sing, it
will still be just as great as what you did before. Your voice is what brings them. They come to hear you
sing. The stage show is a bonus and the other members can cover what you can't."
"They probably already replaced me."
Colt laughed. "You really believe that?"
Kyle stared at him and shrugged. "I told them to."
"You told me to leave you alone, too. Look at us now. Your best friends are in the band. They
haven't found anyone. They don't give up on you that easy. I think in your heart you know you're going
back. You wouldn't still be writing songs if you didn't."
Kyle shifted so he was on his side and stared at Colt. "If I stay with the band, that means I tour again.
I won't be able to be with you as much."
"And that is the only reason I would tell you not to do it, but I would never forgive myself for saying
that. Singing is your dream. Your life. It's who you are. If I took that from you, we would never make it
together. I went into a relationship with you knowing it would be a lot of time apart. We can make it
work. We planned on it before. Nothing has changed now. We fly out to see each other when we can, and
when you have time off, you come home to me."
"Home." Kyle smiled and slid his half leg between Colt's thighs to get closer. "I like how that
sounds."
"Me, too." Colt kissed him again, reminding Kyle just how much he really had to live for.
Kyle stared at Colt across the room as he double-checked the prosthetic leg once more. The fit was
tight and he really wasn't worried about it falling off. What he did worry about was tripping. He was still
getting used to the feel of it, and since it was only a temporary one, until the swelling decreased some
more, the fit wasn't perfect and sometimes made it awkward to walk.
"I don't think I've ever been so nervous." Kyle pushed his pant leg down and stood.
"You have nothing to worry about. Just sing, that's all you have to do." Colt held out his hand.
"Come here."
Kyle took several steps to him, testing the leg as he walked. Once in Colt's arms he relaxed, pressing
up against his chest and letting the scent of his cologne surround him. "Thanks for coming with me
tonight."
"There is nowhere I would rather be." Colt nuzzled his nose against Kyle's neck.
"In bed?"
"We'll be there soon enough." Colt reached down and gave Kyle's ass a squeeze. "One thing I like
about you performing is those long hot showers after every show."
"You just like the fact you have to help me balance while we take them."
"That, too." Colt grinned.
"Kyle, ready?" Luis yelled from outside the door.
"Yeah, coming." He glanced up at Colt. "I wouldn't have made it this far without you."
"I think you would have." Colt pulled back. "Go. They are waiting. I'll be stage left watching you the
whole time."
"I love you."
"I love you, too." Colt placed a soft kiss on his lips. "Now go."
Kyle turned, checked his appearance in the mirror one last time and walked out. Luis and Carl smiled
at him as they joined him at the back of the stage. It was just as he remembered, the excitement, the
nervousness, the adrenaline flowing through him. He brushed his hand over his short hair, and nodded.
"Let's do this."
Matt and Tim stepped up beside them, both smiling.
"This is it, guys, our big break. Let's get out there and give them hell," Tim said.
Kyle took a deep breath as he took it all in. Several weeks ago when he finally decided he was going
to stay with the band, he expected anger and the others to be upset with the way he had been. He never
thought they would embrace him the way they did. The support they had instantly shown, wasn't
deserved. He was aware of what an ass he had been to them all.
Now as they waited for their cue to take the stage, he watched them, feeling more at home than he
ever had, and more part of a family than ever before.
Catching sight of Colt in the distance, he smiled. He had Colt to thank for it all. He was the one who
pulled him out of his depression and showed him he had the strength to go on and follow his dreams. He
would never be able to repay what Colt had given him over the last two months.
"Time." Someone hollered.
His pulse raced as they all turned and took the stairs up to the darkened stage. It was a larger stage
than they were used to, another bonus of touring with one of the most popular bands in the world. Kyle
watched his step, cautious of the cords that trailed across the stage, still fearing an embarrassing fall.
Once in position he forced everything but the show from his mind, ready to face the largest crowd he
had ever sung in front of. He heard the others behind him, getting their instruments ready, but didn't turn
to look. He gripped the microphone, pulling it off the stand and took a deep breath.
The others played the opening chords of one of their songs and the curtain lifted. Bright lights
blinded him for a moment, but he adjusted quickly, turning his gaze to find Colt at the side of the stage.
They made brief eye contact and unsaid words flowed between them. Kyle smiled and gave a slight nod
before turning to face the crowd. It was time to perform.
Emma Marie Leya lives in Salt Lake City, Utah with her daughter, two dogs, a cat, and two birds.
When she isn't writing she is an avid swimmer with a passion for the mountains. She can often be found
playing outdoors. You can always contact her at
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