ABEL

It Can’t Be You

By: CJ Bishop

~~~

Smashwords Edition

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Chapter One

Improper Proposition

The wad of bills stuffed down the front of Abel's g-string, the fingers shoving them in getting a

good groping feel of his cock. The customers knew the rules; no grabbing a dancer's crotch or groping
their ass or cock. The dance was for entertainment only. But the men had their ways of breaking the
rules without breaking the rules. Stuffing in cash was just part of the show—it was the dancer's tip.
And it allowed the customer a quick feel of what they were lusting for and paying to have shoved in
their faces. But some customers, such as this man, liked to abuse their allowance.

When the guy was just a bit too slow in pulling his hand back, Abel moved away, never wavering

from the dance, his slim hips swaying, dipping, teasing. But even as he tried to dance away from the
man's groping, the customer gripped the front of Abel's g-string and tugged him close again. His
strong hand palmed Abel's firm ass cheek, squeezing, his eyes—heavy with lust—burning into the
young man.

“That was a bonus.” His deep voice rasped with sexual tension. He gave a slight jerk on the g-

string. “Take this off and show me what you can really do.”

Abel shoved against him but the man held onto his ass, preventing his retreat. “Let go.” Abel said

tightly. He wasn't overly alarmed. This happened from time to time—the customer got too horny and
wanted more from the dancer than just the lap dance. “I dance—I don't fuck.”

“I bet you do.” The look in the man's eyes shifted, inciting mild alarm. The guy grabbed his ass

with both hands and pulled Abel down onto his lap with a grunt. His cock was hard and pushing
forcefully against his briefs beneath his open pants. “I bet when some hot young cock comes in here
and pays for a dance—he gets a hell of a lot more. Well I'm a loyal customer and I want more.”

“Get your fucking hands off me.” Abel snapped.
“Come on, baby.” the man growled, gouging his hands into Abel's ass and resisting the young

man's struggles. “I know you're just a little whore. So give it to me.”

Abel's face tightened and he shoved against the man's shoulders, but the guy was fucking strong,

his arms like vises, closing around Abel's lean body, locking him in. “Let go, god dammit!”

Hot mouth suctioned to his throat, sucking hard, then teeth grabbed his sweat slick skin, biting.

Abel yelped and worked an arm under the guy's throat and shoved forcefully, causing the man to
cough then gag from the pressure crushing against his juggler.

“You fucking little slut!” The man leaped to his feet, Abel still in his grip, and slammed the

younger man against the protruding corner of the private cubicle. Abel gasped as a sharp pain shot
down his spine and into his hips, immobilizing him momentarily. The man spun him around and
shoved him face first against the wall then his hands were all over Abel's ass, invading between his
cheeks, his fingers probing Abel's tight entrance.

“Get off me!” Abel choked but the weight of the man's body pinned him securely. He felt the man

groping with the front of his own pants, working at getting his hard cock out. He's going to rape you!
Do something! An unprecedented fear sparked through Abel, quickly evolving into panic as another
face rose behind his eyes.

“Just bend over and take it, boy. Or I'll give it to her instead.” The taste of iron as he bit his

lip hard to keep from screaming as the man shoved him over the end of the bunk. Then

excruciating pain exploding through his body when the guy pushed into him with no preparation,
no gentleness whatsoever. “Yes...give me this tight little ass.” he grunted, panted, hot breath
blasting the back of his neck as his tear-streaked face was shoved into the coarse blanket, his body
violated until he wanted to puke.

The man's mouth was against his ear, his breath puffing hard. “Baby, I'm gonna fuck you like you

ain't ever been fucked. You'll be begging me for more.” The sudden hot flesh of his rigid cock touched
Abel's ass cheeks. Panic coursed through him in another wave.

“No!” he shoved against the wall, but couldn't budge the man. “Get off me!” he screamed, and

then a tight hand over his mouth silenced him.

“Shhh.” he whispered, huffing. “Don't want anyone to hear.”
Tears formed and spilled down Abel's cheeks. It wasn't likely anyone would hear anyway—the

music in the club was blasting, and that was nearly drowned out by the shouts and hollers of the men
out front as the other boys went through their stage routines. He could scream till he was hoarse and
no one would hear.

Please, God! Please don't let him! Please!
Hips rolled and rubbed against his tense ass as the guy dragged his cock head through the crease

between Abel's cheeks, leaving a smear of cum juice in its wake. “Oh baby, by the time I'm through
with you...you're gonna be screaming my name.” he chuckled low. “Which is Richard, by the way. But
you can call me Dick.” His tongue slithered through Abel's ear and the boy cringed, squeezing his
eyes shut, chest hitching, breath erratic as he struggled to prepare himself for what was about to
happen.

“If the boy wanted dick—Dick—he would've asked for it.” The deep voice spoke low, but was

easily audible in the small space.

Cole!
Abel choked on a cry then suddenly his mouth was free as the customer was ripped off him with a

yelp. Abel shuddered and clung to the wall as he heard the man yell then the unmistakable sound of a
fist to a jaw followed by a hard thud as the guy hit the floor, a crash—possibly a chair or table being
knocked over—then Cole threatening the man, telling him the next time he tried sticking his cock
where it didn't belong—he would rip it off with his bare hands.

And Cole could do it, Abel had no doubt. The guy was a beast. Fucking hot, but still a beast.
“What in the hell is going on, Cole!” Max's voice joined the fray.
Abel turned slowly, eyes bleary, vision blurred. His back hurt like a motherfucker and he just

leaned against the wall, wanting to sit but every movement shooting pain up and down his spine.

“The motherfucker was trying to take just a little too much from our boy Abel.” Cole spoke with a

deadly calm that made even Abel tremble—and the guy was on his side. He glanced at the customer
on the floor, lying still, clearly afraid to make even the tiniest move for fear of spurring Cole back
into action.

Max glanced at the customer with about as much care as one gives a cockroach, then entered the

cubicle and touched Abel's arm, a tight frown on his face. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah.” Abel said thickly but winced when he tried to straighten up.
His face pinching harder, Max turned back to Cole and the downed man. His eyes came to rest on

the customer. “If you can't respect my boys, you're not welcome in my club.” He pointed towards the
entrance. “There's the door. I suggest you use it...unless you want help finding your way out.” He
glanced at Cole.

Crawling slowly to his feet, eyes on Cole warily, the man wiped his mouth. “I paid for a bonus I

didn't get.” the man muttered, shooting a cold glare at Abel. “I want my money back.”

Cole grabbed him by the scruff of his shirt. “Sorry.” he growled. “No returns on the deposits.

Once the cash hits the cock—it ain't yours no more. Guess my boy was the one who got lucky tonight
—instead of you.” He thrust the man forward. “Now get the fuck out.”

The man stumbled away, scowling but not at all willing to challenge Cole, or even Max.
“Let me look at your back.” Max had Abel turn around. He touched his skin lightly and Abel

flinched. “Just for good measure, maybe you should have a doctor look at it. Seems like you hit pretty
hard.”

“I'm sure...I'll be fine.” Abel said quietly, took a step forward and gasp as something pinched in

the center of his back.

“No, I insist.” Max said. “You're covered by the club's insurance.” He looked at Cole. “Make

sure he gets to the emergency room.”

Cole nodded as he leaned against the cubicle entrance, strong arms crossed over his thick chest.

His arms loosened and dropped down as Max stepped out of the small area. “If the doc says no
physical exertion for awhile then you're on leave.” Max said. He held up his hand when Abel started
to protest. “No arguments.” Then he was gone.

“Fuck.” Abel groaned. He didn't need this. “I can't afford to take time off.”
“Tough shit, sexy.” Cole cocked his head and clucked his tongue. “Can't dance with an injured

back. And you're not gonna try.”

“Max could let me go back to bartending for a few days or be a waiter.”
“Or you could just stay home, get some rest, get better, then come back and do what you do best.”

Cole winked, then moved forward and wrapped his arm around Abel's waist and helped him out of
the cubicle and into the back of the club to the dressing rooms. “Besides,” Cole said. “That bonus you
got stuffed there in your crotch should cover a couple days worth of work.”

Abel had forgotten about the cash that Dick had shoved down the front of his g-string. He reached

under the band and tugged out the bills and dropped them on the small counter. All one-hundreds.
Cole whistled low and straightened out the bills, counting them.

“Fuck, baby.” he chuckled. “Mr. Dick was serious. There's over a thousand dollars here. And

that's on top of your regular pay. Not too shabby.”

“I guess.” Abel murmured, grabbed a pair of jeans and pulled them on carefully, his back

screaming. The money certainly helped—but the cost of getting it still had his nerves on edge.

“Sorry.” Cole's tone softened, his voice lowering as he picked up Abel's t-shirt and helped him on

with it. “I know even the cash isn't worth what happened.” When the shirt was tugged down over his
stomach, Cole ran his fingers through Abel's dark blond hair, damp with sweat. “But no worries,
kiddo. Dick won't be setting foot—or anything else—back in the club.” Cole's hand slid to the back of
Abel's neck and squeezed gently, with a measure of affection. “There won't be a repeat of tonight. I'll
see to that.”

Abel's lips sucked between his teeth as he smiled and nodded. “Thanks.” He stared at the bills on

the counter, his smile faltering. “And thanks for...back there. If you hadn't shown up...”

Leaning forward, Cole gripped Abel's neck lightly and kissed the top of his head. “Just so you

know, it wasn't an accident I was there.” he murmured. “I keep an eye on you when you're alone with
the customers. I know what they're sometimes capable of.”

Warmth seeped through Abel's heart; Cole watched out for him? Never in his life had anyone ever

looked out for him. Or cared what happened to him. Except Savannah. It seemed strange to Abel that
it would be in a place like The Phoenix Club that he would meet his first real friends.

Chapter Two

Healing Touch

Amber downcast eyes came up, and imprisoned Devlin's gaze the moment he slid aside the

privacy curtain and discovered the boy sitting on the bed. His hands squeezed the edge of the mattress
and a slight pinch contorted his cute face. There was a tightness around those enchanting eyes that
betrayed the pain gripping his lean body.

Sudden movement from further behind the curtain forcibly dragged Devlin's eyes from the boy and

he was met with a more formidable stare. The man looked to be in his late twenties, early thirties and
was well over six feet—and built. Just from his exposed biceps, Devlin could see the man's muscles
were tight, cut—rather than thick and bulky. Either the guy worked out religiously...or he engaged in
some form of physical activity that kept his physique tight.

“I'm Dr. Grant.” His focus was pulled back to the young man sitting on the bed. “And what

happened here?” He walked over to the boy, unnerved by the sudden spike in heart rate as the kid
captured his eyes yet again.

The other man's pale gray eyes swept over him with a glint of skepticism. “You're a doctor?” he

asked doubtfully.

At twenty-five, Devlin got that question a lot. He smiled. “I'm an intern here at the hospital.” He

picked up the chart laying on the portable stand at the end of the bed. “How did you hurt your back?”
The boy shifted on the edge of the bed but didn't answer. Devlin raised his eyes questioningly.

The other man cleared his throat, drawing Devlin's attention. “A ruckus down at the club. Drunk

customer got a little pushy.”

Devlin looked the guy over again. “Are you family?”
“Not officially.” His lips twitched. “We both work at the club.”
The boy continued to fidget uneasily, barely raising his eyes from the floor. “And which club is

that?” The boy's head jerked up, his anxious eyes darting quickly to the other man.

“The Zodiak.” the guy offered without hesitation. “A dance club downtown.”
Devlin nodded and dropped his gaze to the chart again. “I've heard of it.” He glanced at the boy's

name. “Abel, is it?” He set aside the chart as the boy nodded. “Remove your shirt and I'll take a
look.”

Abel grabbed the hem of his t-shirt, started to lift it up, then gasped soft, face pinching hard. “I

can't...”

“Here.” Devlin took care in helping him slowly drawing his arms from the sleeves. The boy met

his eyes in quick shots, his amber depths playing havoc with Devlin's heart rate. “How old are you,
Abel?”

“Nineteen.” he mumbled.
Devlin carefully slid the shirt up over his head, working his fingers around the collar so as not to

jerk the kid's head in case he had a spinal injury. His fingers brushed against Abel's soft hair and he
was assaulted with the sudden need to comb them more thoroughly through the deep blond strands.
What is with you? Get control of yourself.

“Stand up.” Devlin gripped his arm gently and helped him lift off the bed. His face pinched again

as he tried to straighten up. “Don't force it.” He had him turn around. A mild abrasion marred down

the center of his back. “What exactly happened?”

“I...” the boy started then faltered.
“He was shoved against the corner of a door frame, pretty hard.” the other man spoke up, once

again answering the question for him.

“I see.” Devlin murmured. He pressed his fingertips gingerly to various points on Abel's back.

The boy sucked in sharply with nearly every touch and tensed. He had him lean over the bed as much
as he could then ran his finger down his spine. The boy's tension seemed to grow and he detected a
notable quickness to his breath. “You can turn back around.”

When Abel faced him again, there was a light gloss to his eyes—which avoided Devlin's gaze.

His chest heaved slightly with a faint hitch.

“Are you all right?” Devlin asked, concerned. “Do you hurt inside? Internally?”
Abel shook his head, his chin ducked down. “No.” His voice strained. “Just...my back.”
“Okay.” Devlin nodded slowly. “You seem to just be badly bruised. But to be on the safe side,

I'm going to go ahead and schedule an MRI scan. Don't want to take any chances.” He reached out and
pressed his fingertips gently to each side of the back of Abel's neck, testing the area around the brain
stem. “Does it hurt through here?”

“No.” Abel met his eyes briefly, and for that moment, Devlin was pulled in and it seemed time

stopped for just a few seconds. His face was only inches from Abel's, the boy's soft lips slightly
parted, warm breath slipping out in quick puffs. Anxiety tightened the skin around his eyes and he
seemed on the bare edge of bolting away, and possibly would have if he hadn't been injured.

Devlin's thumbs ached to slide across the boy's lips, and he had to will his hands to drop away

from Abel's neck rather than shift to his face, caress his skin. He stepped back before the urge to kiss
those gentle curving lips took over and got him fired. He cleared his throat and glanced at the other
man. “I'll have a nurse come by and take him up to prepare him for the MRI.” He turned his gaze back
to Abel. The boy remained tentative in looking at him, but the brief glances he graced Devlin with
were like droplets of cool water on a parched tongue.

Who are you, kid? Why are you making my heart go crazy?

* * * *

A low chuckle from Cole drew a sharp look from Abel, “What?”
The doctor had left them to find a nurse. Cole crossed his arms over his chest and shook his head,

smirking. “Dr. Gorgeous was totally crushing on you.”

Abel's pulse quickened but still he shook his head. “You're delusional.” He picked up his shirt.

Cole came over and took the shirt, tugging it gently over his head.

“I know what I saw.” He helped Abel get his arms through the short sleeves then straightened the

shirt down his body. “And I think maybe...I caught a glimpse of you crushing back.”

“You're out of your mind.” Abel scooted slowly back onto the edge of the bed, groaning.
“Sure I am.” Cole drawled.
Abel hurt too much to truly debate with the man. And what was the point? He would lose anyway.

Cole was relentless about proving he was right. It was just easier to concede defeat and let him be
right than exhaust your mind trying to discredit or dissuade him.

He is right this time and you know it. Abel refused to let his mind take that path. So he had found

the doctor attractive—it didn't mean he was crushing on the man. Or that the guy was crushing on
him. Even if the planets were perfectly aligned, the stars all in the right order, and God saw fit to

drop down a miracle that would cause the man to be interested—Abel could never go there. And that
had been confirmed when he had nearly gone into a panic attack when the man began to touch him.

Even if his body craved the touch—his mind couldn't handle it.
He looked at Cole as the man messed with Abel's t-shirt, straightening it around his waist. “Why

did you tell him we worked at the Zodiak?”

Cole shrugged and smiled. “You looked kind of nervous when he asked the name of the club.” He

slowly raised an eyebrow. “Didn't guess you wanted him to know the boy he was crushing on was a
hot little stripper, slash lap dancer, slash...”

“Shut up.” Abel rolled his eyes and laughed softly. “And he wasn't crushing on me.”
“Riiiight.” Cole chuckled then stroked his fingers through Abel's hair teasingly. “How could he

not when you're so damn cute?”

“Stop it.” Abel laughed, tried to duck away then gasped when his back screamed. “Fuck.” He

slapped Cole's hand away, grinning and wincing at the same time. “You're so annoying.”

Cole slid a strong arm around Abel's neck and kissed the top of his head hard. “Ah but you love

me anyway.”

Working his head loose, Abel rolled his eyes. “In your dreams, buddy.”
Amused, Cole chuckled, “Maybe.”

* * * *

“Here.” Devlin indicated the wheelchair the nurse brought in. “You get to be chauffeured.” He

smiled and took hold of Abel's arm gently, helping him stand. An uncertain smile touched his lovely
lips and his amber gaze continued to evade Devlin's eyes, connecting only on brief passes. Though it
was enough to kick start his heart.

“Hey, first class service.” Abel's friend chuckled and winked at the boy as he sank down into the

wheelchair. Abel rolled his eyes slightly, but a smile pulled at the corner of his mouth. There was an
almost intimate affection between the two and Devlin was startled by the sting of jealousy that jabbed
at him. Was there more than simply a co-worker relationship between Abel and the other man?

The guy has to be at least thirty. What are the chances he's got something going with a

nineteen year old? Besides, how do you even know either of them are gay? Just because the kid
gives you a few looks that you're surely misinterpreting...

“Heather will take good care of you.” Devlin smiled, nodding at the nurse.
She touched Abel's shoulder. “Oh yes, we'll have us a gay ole time.”
The other man covered his mouth with his hand, turned slightly away and chuckled. Abel shot him

a “Shut up” look that seemed only to amuse him more, lending credence to Devlin's suspicions of, at
least, Abel's preferences.

Devlin watched the nurse wheel him away, his eyes lingering on the boy until he was out of view.

When he turned around, the other man was gazing at him, a slightly amused, knowing, look on his
face. God, was his attraction to Abel obvious? Even so, he could play oblivious.

“I didn't get your name.” Devlin said.
The man held out his hand. “Cole.”
Devlin grasp his hand. The man's grip was strong and he squeezed with just enough pressure that

seemed to carry a silent declaration—you're not fooling me. Clearing his throat, Devlin released the
man, “If all goes well with the scan, I will prescribe some pain medication for Abel; but, he will
need plenty of bed rest as well. If he's still having intense pain after a few days, have him come back

in. But it should be clearing up by then.”

“Okay.” Cole said. “No problem. I'll see to it he follows orders.”
“Do you...share living quarters?”
The man seemed amused by the question. “No. It's just him and his younger sister. But I'll keep

tabs on him, make sure he doesn't engage in any...strenuous activity.”

Devlin nodded. A shimmer of dread squeezed his gut; Abel would be going home here in just a

while, and there was a strong possibility Devlin would never see him again.

Chapter Three

A Willing Accomplice

“Savannah?” The apartment felt empty when Abel and Cole came through the front door.

“Savannah?” Instant anxiety pinch Abel's gut; she knew he didn't want her going out at night. “Where
the hell is she?”

Cole helped him to the small sofa. “Don't panic.” Cole said. “I'm sure she's fine. Maybe she just

ran down to the corner market.” He stepped over into the small adjoining kitchen and grabbed up a
note lying in plain sight on the round table. “There. See? She just went to the store real quick.”

“I've told her...” Abel winced as he adjusted himself on the sofa. “...not to go out after dark. She

knows better.” He started to push himself up off the sofa with great effort.

“Whoa.” Cole dropped the note back onto the table and came over to him. “What do you think

you're doing, boy? Sit your ass down.”

“I have to go find her.” Abel groaned, but couldn't resist Cole's strong hands pushing him back

down on the sofa.

“Look.” Cole said. “If you want, I'll go locate her. But maybe you need to lighten up a little bit,

big brother. She is sixteen.”

Sixteen in years. But Savannah had a fragility that made her seem much younger. “You know that

she—” He broke off abruptly when the door opened and Savannah entered, stopping short when she
saw Abel and Cole. The first thing Abel registered about the young girl was the slightly pale shade of
her face. The second—her missing jacket. “Where is your jacket?” he asked sharp. “And why did you
leave the apartment?”

“I wanted a soda.” she said absently, her already large eyes widening a bit as she stared at her

brother. “What happened to you?”

“Nothing. I'm fine.” In contradiction, he sucked a sudden sharp breath through clamped teeth as he

shifted on the sofa again. “Where is your jacket? It's too cold out for you not to be wearing a coat.”

“I...” her large, sea green eyes darted away as she closed the door behind her and twisted the can

of soda in her fingers. “I gave it away.”

Abel glanced at Cole then back to his sister. Though sixteen, she looked about thirteen, maybe

fourteen, her body somewhat petite, even stunted. Her hair lacked the luster of youth as she fingered
her blond strands absently and continued to avoid direct eye contact.

“You...gave it away?” Abel shook his head, frowning. “Why? To who?”
The girl shrugged and walked over to the table. “A kid. He was cold.”
“What...kid?” Abel insisted.
“Down by the mission.” Savannah murmured.
“What?” Abel's brow pinched hard and he forced himself up straighter though it sent a sharp pain

up his back and he gasped.

“Easy.” Cole told him. “The doc said as little moving around as possible.”
“Doctor?” Instant alarm grabbed Savannah's tone. “What happened?”
“Never mind that.” Abel brushed it aside—partly because he still wanted to know why she had

given away her only jacket—but mostly because he didn't want to go into details. Savannah knew he
worked at the club, even knew it was a gay club. But the last she had been aware, he'd been working

in the back handling boxes of liquor, restocking the bar. And he had never elaborated that it was a gay
strip club—nor that he had been promoted to bartender, then to stripper. Some things she didn't need
to know. “That was your only warm jacket. We can't afford to be giving stuff away, Savannah.”

Cole cleared his throat. “I'll leave you two to work this out.” he jabbed a finger at Abel. “You

follow the doc's orders.” he winked as a smirk twisted his lips. “Wouldn't want to have to go back in
and see him, would you?”

“Go.” Abel rolled his eyes. “I'll be fine. I won't have to go back in.”
Cole clucked his tongue. “Too bad for Dr. Gorgeous.”
“Go!” Abel growled and shook his head, a faint smile dragging at the corner of his mouth.
Chuckling, Cole glanced at Savannah. “Take care of your brother, now. Don't let him be up

moving around too much.” He winked softly. “I'm leaving you in charge. He disobeys, just...kick his
butt. I know you can.”

Savannah giggled and nodded.
“You get some rest.” Cole told Abel and walked to the door, then smiled wryly, “We can't do

without you for too long.” He laughed when Abel shot him an exasperated look, then left the
apartment.

“I like Cole.” Savannah smiled. “He's funny.”
“Yeah.” Abel muttered. “He's a real peach.” He groaned as he worked a couple throw pillows

behind his back. “I meant what I said, Savannah. You can't be giving your stuff away.”

“I know.” her voice softened as she twisted the can of soda on the table. “But...I know how it

feels to be cold.”

Their time on the streets had impacted her hard. How could he be angry with her? There had been

many times he would've given anything for the kindness of a stranger. Sometimes out on the street,
something as simple as a warm coat could mean the difference between life and death. “I understand
that, Savannah.” his tone softened. “But you are my first concern. You can't be out in the cold with no
jacket. You know how easily you get sick.” He rubbed his mouth. “And besides, I told you not to go
out after dark if I'm not here. You know how unsafe the streets can be at night.”

Nodding slowly, Savannah murmured, “I know. I'm sorry. I won't do it again.”
“Okay.” he said. “I just need you to be safe...and healthy.” He watched her open the soda can and

take a drink. “You've been taking your supplements every day, haven't you?”

“Yes.”
“Good.” An ache cut through him as he took in her fragile frame and almost gaunt features. She

would never develop the beautiful, graceful body she had been born to have. Her early years had
been too harsh, stealing her gift.

“What happened to you, Abel?” she picked up her soda and came to the sofa. “Why did you have

to see a doctor?”

The mention of the doctor brought Dr. Grant's face to the forefront of Abel's mind; his gentle

handsome features, soft, caring eyes and...his touch. Though at the time, Abel had nearly went into
panic at being touched by him...thinking on it now brought a warm tingle to his skin and an unexpected
throb to his crotch. Stop it. You're being stupid. Don't think about him that way . Abel cleared his
throat as the warmth in his skin and pulse down below remained. “Nothing serious, I just...pulled a
muscle in my back while moving some heavy boxes. I'll be fine in a few days.”

A shadow of worry darkened Savannah's green eyes. “Is that gonna hurt us...if you miss work?”
After having to claw and scrape for every dime for so long, Savannah stressed about money more

than any sixteen year old should have to. “Don't worry.” Abel smiled then dug out the bonus that Dick

had shoved into his g-string. “I got my Christmas bonus early.”

Savannah's eyes widened. “Holy cow. How much is that?”
“Over a thousand.” he grinned, then shoved it back into his pocket.
“A thousand dollars?” Savannah exclaimed, her jaw dropping.
“Over a thousand.” he replied then laughed when she flung her arms around him and hugged him

tight. “Easy.” he groaned. “Hurt back...remember?”

She drew back quick. “Oh, sorry. Right.” Her eyes glowed. “They really give you that much for a

bonus?”

Abel smiled, suddenly feeling like the cost was worth it just to see the constant worry in her eyes

fade away, replaced by sheer joy. He didn't see it often. “Sometimes,” he murmured. “They do.”

* * * *

“How's the kid?” Gabe lounged on the barstool nursing a beer when Cole approached. His tight

black jeans sucked to his strong thighs and accentuated his full crotch. The sheer skin tight white tank
top gave definition to every perfectly sculpted muscle in his chest and stomach. When the man swept
his fingers through his dark hair and stabbed Cole with those baby blues, Cole's cock did a jig in his
pants. He couldn't help it—the man was fucking sexy as hell.

“He'll be good in a few days.” Cole slid onto the barstool next to Gabe and nodded at the

bartender. A moment later, a glass of Coors Light was slid across the bar to him.

“I heard what happened.” Gabe muttered, clearly pissed. “Fucking pricks. Can't handle the heat,

should stay out of the fucking kitchen.” He downed a swallow of beer then glanced at Cole and
grinned. “Heard he walked away with a bonus, though.”

“Yup.” Cole chuckled and sipped his beer. “Should have seen the doctor. Fuck. And he was

totally crushing on Abel, too.” he chuckled again. “Of course, the kid swore I was delusional.”

Gabe laughed quietly. “The things that boy does here in the club...you wouldn't know he was a shy

one. But that just makes him even sexier.” he smirked. “I think that's why he's so popular with the
older guys. They have a thing about shy young boys.” he shook his head and chuckled, downing more
beer. “Perverts.”

Cole laughed and glanced around as he sipped the beer. “Is Max in his office?”
Gabe rested his hand loosely on his hip and shrugged. “Not sure.” he said absently as his gaze

suddenly drifted out to the tables and noisome crowd before the stage. Cole twisted on the barstool
and followed his eyes. A good looking man in his late twenties had turned his attention from the hot
young dancer on stage and was discreetly eyeing Gabe as he slowly sipped a glass of scotch. Gabe
gave him a lazy, half-disinterested look that was so damn hot Cole was about to drag out his wallet
and pay the guy for a ride. Gabe had the man on the hook, there was no doubt there. The guy tried to
play the same game of disinterest, but he was no match for Gabe.

As soon as the man shifted in his chair and wiped a hand over his mouth, Cole chuckled and

turned back towards the bar, lifting his drink to his lips. “You got him.”

Though Gabe's smirk was evident in his eyes, he didn't let it touch his lips enough for his prey to

notice. “Just a little more incentive...” he murmured and slid his hand down his inner thigh, then
leaned towards Cole a bit. “Wanna help me reel him in?”

Cole sucked in a deep breath and released it slow, then downed his beer. “Oh yeah.” He slid

around slowly and faced Gabe, his hand lifting up to cup the side of the guy's neck. He leaned in until
his lips nearly touched Gabe's mouth, then moved slowly across his cheek to his ear. “Is he

watching?”

“Fuck yeah, he's watching.” Gabe spoke so low his lips barely moved, a soft chuckle rumbled in

his chest. “Hand is going under the table as we speak.” Gabe's own hand slid in between Cole's legs
and palmed his crotch. Cole's breath caught a little and Gabe twisted his face and licked Cole's
earlobe. “Enjoying this much?”

His cock throbbing against Gabe's firm grip, Cole groaned. “Immensely.” He drew back a little

and ran his lips across Gabe's mouth, both their tongues snaking out to tease one another. Another
groan rolled up Cole's throat as Gabe teased him without really delivering the actual kiss. He was a
fucking master of seduction which made him so popular here at the club. He could seduce a priest out
of his white collar and robe.

“He's on the move.” Gabe whispered, nipping Cole's lower lip and squeezing his crotch.
Cole's breath was quick and hot, puffing into Gabe's mouth. “I'm beginning to pity your

customers.”

Laughing softly, Gabe planted a firm kiss on his lips without warning and murmured, “See me

later...I owe you for your help.”

They drew apart as the customer approached, a thick wad of bills pinch between two fingers as

he reached over and stuffed them down the front of Gabe's pants. “Show me what you can do, baby.”

Gabe gazed at the man with dry interest and stepped off the stool. Cole shook his head and

grinned. Show him what he could do? Fuck, the guy would be passed out in a pool of his own cum by
the time Gabe was through with him—and he wouldn't even have to touch the man.

“Lucky bastard.” Cole chuckled then left the barstool in search of Max.

Chapter Four

Bad Dreams

Whimpering cries snapped the boy awake, propelling him forward on his bunk. A girl's cries!

He kicked off the single, coarse blanket that didn't provide nearly enough warmth, and scrambled
out of bed, running for the door of the small room he shared with another boy.

He jerked open the door and raced across the narrow hall to the room his little sister had been

sharing with another younger girl, but now occupied alone since the other girl had been adopted.
His sister's muffled cries pressed at the inside of the door.

The boy burst into the room and stopped short, chest heaving, eyes wide as he stared in

shocked horror at the sight of his ten year old sister crushed against her bunk beneath the body of
a volunteer counselor. His hands were shoving under her night gown, trying to push her legs apart
as she cried and kicked.

The guy's head snapped around. “Get the fuck out, kid!”
“Get off her!” the boy screamed and lunged at the man, punching and kicking. “Leave her

alone, you fuck!”

The man swung his hand out and caught the kid in the side of the face, knocking him to the

floor with a grunt. He scrambled back to his feet in time for his t-shirt to be snagged in the guy's
fist and his body slammed against the wall, knocking the air from his lungs. The boy clawed at his
fist, face pinched and twisted, eyes burning with rage.

“Don't you fucking touch her!” he shoved against the man's grip but he was too strong.
“You wanna take her place?” The guy's face thrust close to Abel's. “'Cause I'm really not that

particular.”

Panic cut through Abel and fear like he'd never known. His wide eyes shot to his little sister,

huddled in the corner of the cot, knees sucked up to her chest, crying.

“What's it gonna be, boy?” The young man's fist ground into the kid's chest, bruising bone,

causing him to wince and gasp for air as his chest wall depressed beneath the pressure. “You...”
He jabbed a finger towards the girl. “Or her?” His sister's small arms curled up over her head,
her body shaking uncontrollably. The man suddenly released him, shoving him to the floor. “Guess
it's her.” He stepped towards the bed and the girl screamed, shoving harder into the corner.

“No!” He lunged to his feet and grabbed the guy's arm. “Me! It's me! Don't touch her!

Please!”

Suddenly the boy was face down on the bunk, the rough blanket scratching his cheek as he was

shoved hard into the thin mattress. Tears rushed free and his chest hitched and caught as he
struggled to breathe. His sister screamed and reached for him.

“Close your eyes!” he cried. “Don't watch!”
The girl shoved her face into her arms and turned towards the wall, her whimpers filling his

ears as the man's fingernails scraped the boy's skin in a hurried attempt to yank down his
underwear.

* * * *

“Huh!” Abel sprang forward, breath rushing in and out of his lungs, body drenched in sweat. An

instant stabbing pain shot through his back at the sudden sharp movement. His heart punched his ribs
as a sliver of panic weaved through him, his wide eyes darting around the dark room fearfully.

It was just a dream...just a dream...you're not there anymore...you got away...
Quiet whimpers reached him and panic instinctively set in again. Savannah. He tried to move

quick, but the pain coursing up and down his back prevented it. Leaving the bed carefully, he moved
stiffly down the short hall to Savannah's room and pushed open her door.

“Savannah?” The girl whimpered in her sleep, restless beneath her blankets. Abel made his way

to her bedside and turned on her lamp. Fear swept through him; her face was shiny with sweat,
dampening her hairline across her brow. Strands of limp hair clung to her clammy cheeks.
“Savannah?” he touched her face and the heat in her skin seared his fingers. He grabbed her, shaking
her awake. “Savannah! Wake up.”

She mumbled and her brow pinched, her eyes struggling to open. “I don't...feel good...Abel.” She

rolled over suddenly and vomited off the edge of the bed. Abel stepped back just before his feet were
drenched in vile puke.

“Fuck.” Abel's throat tightened, his eyes burning. “Just hang on.” he choked. “I'll call somebody.

We'll get you to the hospital.”

Forcing the pain in his body to the back of his mind, he moved as fast as he could to his bedroom

and grabbed the cell phone Max had given him. He had both Max and Cole on speed dial.

* * * *

“Ah...fuck...” Cole swallowed hard, his pulse spiking, as Gabe's hot mouth slid up and down his

hard shaft slowly, sucking firmly. Cole's fingers raked through the guy's soft hair and pressed into his
scalp, thrusting his cock into Gabe's mouth. “Fuck, man...no one sucks cock like you.”

Gabe moaned and handled Cole's tight balls then worked his hand further back and fingered his

hole. His breath sticking, Cole shifted in the soft chair, lifting his ass to Gabe as the man knelt before
him between Cole's open legs. He pushed his cock into Gabe's throat with more urgency as the guy's
stiff finger shoved inside him, found his sweet spot and massaged firmly while he sucked his cock
with increased rhythm and pace.

“Fuck!” Cole's shoulders shoved back against the chair as his hips lifted and he clutched Gabe's

head, fucking his mouth. “Oh shit, man! Do it! Make me cum! Fuck!” Cole's ring tone on his cell went
off suddenly and he growled in frustration as his balls tightened and his orgasm swelled fast. “Are
you fucking kidding me?” He blocked it out and squeezed his eyes shut as Gabe's tight, wet mouth
stroked him faster, harder, his strong hand gripping Cole's dick and following his mouth up and down
the shaft. “Fuck yes! Yes! Oh my god!”

Gabe pulled off him and pumped his cock with his fist as Cole fucked his hand with urgency,

gripping the arms of the chair fiercely. “Yeah, baby.” Gabe grinned, panting. “Give it up to daddy.”

“Fuck!” Cole flinched hard as Gabe squeezed his cock and jerked him off with vigor and

enthusiasm, fingering his ass at the same time. He yelled and came, shots of cum squirting up and
landing on his chest and stomach. Gabe worked him out, squeezing out every last drop. Cole
collapsed back into the chair, gasping. He rubbed his hand across his sweaty face and chuckled.
“Fuck, man. If you did that to the customers, you'd be a fucking millionaire by now.”

Laughing, Gabe dragged his tongue across Cole's stomach and up his chest, licking up his creamy

deposits, then kissed Cole, pressing his body against him, rubbing his confined crotch against Cole's

softened dick. Both men groaned and Gabe thrust his tongue into Cole's mouth. He could taste himself
on the man's tongue.

Cole grinned, “I taste pretty fucking good.”
“You do.” Gabe groaned and kissed him again.
The cell went off again. “Dammit.” Cole grumbled and grabbed his pants off the floor, digging

through the pocket for his phone as Gabe's sizzling lips moved to his throat, sucking his tender skin.
“Fuck, man.” Cole gasped low. He found his phone and opened it just in time to miss the call. “Shit.”

“What?” Gabe drew back.
“It's Abel.” He scooted up in the chair. “I better call him back. He doesn't usually try to get a hold

of me unless it's important.” Gabe sat back on his heels and rubbed Cole's thighs slowly as Cole
dialed the kid back and pressed the cell to his ear. His eyes followed Gabe's hands as they massaged
his leg muscles, his cock growing heavy at the burning look in Gabe's baby blue eyes.

Cole's mind began to wander as he watched—and felt—Gabe slide his hand around his member

and slowly glide his fist along the substantial shaft. A groan was forming at the base of his throat
when Abel answered on the other end of the line. Panic squeezed the boy's voice when he told him
Savannah was sick and needed to go to the hospital.

“I'll be right there.” Cole sat forward, kissed Gabe firm on the lips then stood up. “I have to go.”

He grabbed his pants off the floor and pulled them on quick, found his shirt and slipped into it.

“What's wrong?” Gabe rose to his feet, concern on his face. “Is Abel okay?”
“Yes.” Cole said, anxious. “But his sister is sick. Real sick. She needs to go to the hospital.”
“Do you want me to come with you?”
“No, I got it.” Cole picked up his jacket and walked towards the door. “But let Max know what's

going on.” He started to leave then stepped back quick and grabbed the back of Gabe's neck, pulling
him into a deep kiss. “That was a hell of a thank you.”

“I wasn't finished showing my gratitude.” Gabe smiled wryly.
Cole chuckled. “Well then, I'll be back for the rest.” he kissed him again then left the room,

adjusting his crotch inside his jeans.

* * * *

“I can take her in.” Cole grabbed a blanket and wrapped it around Savannah. The girl was shaking

and seemed slightly delirious. Her skin was burning to the touch. “Just wait here. I'll call you the
second I know something. You're not supposed to be up moving around.”

“Fuck that, I don't care.” Abel said defiantly, and tugged on his jacket with a bit of effort, the pain

in his back making it feel as if screws were being drilled into his spine. He fought it though it brought
tears to his eyes. “I'm going with you.”

Clearly Cole knew it was futile to argue and would only be wasting precious time. “Fine.”
Abel didn't know what time it was exactly, but the distant sky resonated the first hint of dawn,

though night still hung heavy in the city streets. Cole parked at the emergency entrance and carried
Savannah inside where she was quickly admitted to an ER bed. Abel's head spun as questions were
thrust at him; How long had she been sick? Who was her doctor? Was she taking any medication? Did
she have any allergies?

Finally, Abel and Cole were sent to the waiting room. Though Abel's back was screaming like a

banshee, he couldn't sit, couldn't hold still; Savannah was all he had in this world. If something
happened to her...

Don't think that way. She's going to be fine. It may not be as serious as it seems. But Savannah

wasn't a typical healthy sixteen year old. What may not be serious to most kids—could prove life
threatening to her.

Cole took hold of him all of the sudden and forced him down in a cushioned chair. “Sit.” he said,

then pointed a stern finger at him. “Stay. There's nothing you can do at the moment, and you don't need
to be moving around.” When Abel's face pinched as the pain crawled back into his consciousness, he
frowned. “Did you bring your pain medication?”

“No.” Abel groaned, eyes pinching a little as bolts of pain began to shoot up and down his back.
“Maybe I can get some for you.” he said. “Wait here.” He left the waiting room, shoving through

the heavy doors, on the other side of which was the ER nurse's station.

Abel closed his eyes and hugged his stomach as the pain began to incite nausea. He tried

controlled breathing to calm his upset stomach. It helped a little, but not much.

Oh god, Cole—hurry up!

Chapter Five

Dark Diagnosis

“Cole?” Devlin thought he was hallucinating at first when he came down the corridor and saw the

man speaking to one of the nurses. His shift had just ended and he was headed out, on his way home.
“What're you...doing here?” Alarm pricked him; Abel. Had the boy had a turn for the worse? Had the
MRI missed something? Dread squeezed his gut. “Is Abel all right?”

Cole nodded. “He's in the waiting room.” he said. “But he left his pain medication at home, and

he's hurting pretty bad. I was just trying to get something for him.”

“Yes, of course.” He turned to the nurse Cole had just been speaking to. “Nurse, Vicodin ES oral,

single dose.” She nodded and left to fill the order. Devlin looked at Cole. “Why is Abel back here?
What happened?”

“His sister got sick.” the man said. “He wouldn't stay at home, insisted on coming with her.”
Devlin glanced towards the heavy doors that led to the waiting room. “He's out here?” Cole

nodded and Devlin stepped towards the doors then shoved through. The waiting room was empty but
for Abel, sitting with his arms wrapped around his stomach, eyes squeezed shut and face pinched. An
unexpected ache stabbed him at the sight of the boy he had feared he would never see again. He
walked to Abel and sat down in the chair next to him. “The nurse is getting you some pain
medication.” he said quietly, concerned. He longed to touch him, caress his shoulder, stroke his hair,
soothe him until relief arrived. But he remembered the way the kid had seemed on the verge of
running from him before.

The boy jumped and his eyes snapped open as he stared at Devlin almost fearfully. His focus

shifted to Cole then back to Devlin. He simply nodded and looked away. Reaching out, Devlin
pressed the back of his fingers to Abel's brow then his cheek. The boy flinched and he could feel him
wanting to pull away.

“You seem to have a bit of a fever.” he said. “But the medication should help with that as well as

the pain.” The nurse entered as if on cue and handed Devlin a small paper cup with two pills. “Thank
you.” he nodded at her then handed the small cup to Abel. “Here, take these. It'll help.” He glanced at
Cole who remained standing, watching them. “Could you get him some water?” he nodded towards
the water dispenser across the room. Cole went for the water and Devlin turned his gaze back on
Abel. The boy held the paper cup in his hand, staring at the pills rather than at Devlin.

Just give me one look with those beautiful eyes—and I'll give you the world. Devlin was a bit

startled by his own thoughts, and his desperate need for Abel to show him direct attention. He glanced
up when Cole returned. The man handed him a paper cup with water, his eyes resonating that same
knowing look as the first time he'd been here.

“Here's some water.” he gave the cup to Abel. “Take the pills. You'll feel better soon.” Abel did

as he was told and handed the two small cups back to Devlin.

“Thank you.” he mumbled.
“Of course.” Devlin smiled, then glanced at Cole. “His sister...how bad is she?”
Cole shook his head. “We don't know yet. She was coughing real bad, throwing up. Didn't seem

like she could breathe very well when she was lying down.”

“Sounds like it could be pneumonia.” he looked at Abel. “How old is your sister?”

“Sixteen.” he murmured.
Devlin frowned. “We don't get a lot of pneumonia cases in kids that age.”
“Savannah...she's kind of sickly.” Cole explained. “Low immunity.”
“How long had she been having symptoms?” he asked Abel.
He shook his head. “It came on suddenly. She was...out in the cold with no jacket last night.”
It was unusual that it hit her so quickly, with such severity. “I'll see if I can find out about her

condition, then let you know.” Abel looked at him and held his eyes, gratitude swimming in his amber
depths. Why that look made him want to cry, Devlin couldn't say. But those eyes pulled at his heart
like no others ever had.

* * * *

“Is the pain medication helping yet?”
Abel sagged into the chair. It had only been about fifteen minutes since he'd taken the pills, but

already the pain was subsiding. “Yeah.”

Cole sat in the chair beside him where Dr. Grant had been sitting just a short while ago. “She's

gonna be okay.” he assured and squeezed Abel's shoulder. “She might seem fragile, but she's a
survivor. Just like you.” He leaned forward on his knees and rubbed his lips together, smiling a little.

“What?” Abel murmured.
“I was just noticing.” he looked at Abel, his smile stretching. “That doctor...he looks at you like a

doe-eyed school girl looks at Mr. Popular, hoping he'll give her just one little glance.”

Abel groaned and shook his head. “Get off it, Cole.” he mumbled, his pulse quickening. “He does

not.”

Chuckling, Cole leaned back in the chair and stretched his long legs out in front of him and

crossed his ankles. He tucked his arms behind his head and smiled sly. “I'll bet you my next five lap
dances that if you asked him to have coffee, or a drink, with you—he'd jump at the opportunity.”

“Your next five lap dances?” Abel stared at him, eyebrows cocked. “Does that mean the money

you make from them...or the dances themselves?”

Cole wriggled his eyebrows. “Whichever tickles your fancy, but it doesn't really matter,” he

tucked his feet in and sat forward again. “Because I would win.”

Dropping his head, Abel scraped his fingers through his blond hair. “Whatever.” He knew that,

for the most part, Cole was just trying to distract him from worrying about Savannah. But there was
also a serious undertone to what he was saying. He honestly thought the doctor had taken a personal
interest in Abel. You're out of your mind, man . Still, he couldn't calm his thumping heart at the idea
of handsome Dr. Grant actually liking him that way...even if all it could ever be was a fantasy.

His thoughts were still churning on that track when the doctor returned. Abel straightened in his

chair—all focus back on Savannah. “Is she...okay?” The deep concern on the man's face scared Abel.
He glanced at Cole then spoke to Dr. Grant. “What's wrong? Is...is it pneumonia?”

Clearing his throat, the doctor's lips pressed into a tight line. “I think we should speak alone.”
Abel glanced at Cole again. “It's okay...if he's here.”
“Abel.” Dr. Grant spoke low. “This is a matter I would feel more comfortable speaking to you in

private about. If you wish to relay to Cole afterwards, then that is your choice. But for now...”

Cole stood. “It's okay, Abel.” he said. “Just talk to the doc. I'll wait outside.”
All his nervousness around the doctor dissipated as Savannah became his prime focus. “What's

wrong with my sister?”

The doctor pulled a chair around and sat in front of Abel. He seemed on edge, almost unwilling to

say what he had to say. “Dr. Jacobs...the physician examining Savannah...he wanted to talk to you
himself, but...I asked if I could speak to you first.”

“What's wrong with her?” Tears filled Abel's eyes. The man's reluctance to just get to the point

scared the shit out of him. Suddenly he wished Cole had stayed.

“Abel.” Dr. Grant released a slow breath then met his anxious stare. “Savannah has been

diagnosed with Pneumocystis Pneumonia.”

“I—I don't understand.” Abel frowned. “What is that?”
The doctor rubbed his thumb across his lower lip then looked at Abel, eyes tight. “It's one of the

most common opportunistic infections found in...those who are HIV positive.”

The man's words couldn't have had a more devastating impact if the guy had reached out and

punched him in the chest as he spoke them. HIV? A quiet horror began to build inside him.
“What...what are you saying?” The words lodged in his throat, choking him. Tears began to slide
down his face. “I—I don't understand. What the fuck are you saying? That...that my sister
has...AIDS?”

The doctor rubbed his hand over his mouth. “Pneumocystis Pneumonia...PCP...it's considered an

AIDS-defining condition in the HIV positive individual. It's very rare that a person with a healthy
immune system will contract it.”

“Are you...saying she's tested positive?”
“Dr. Jacobs is running a Rapid HIV antibody test.” he said. “The results should be ready within

thirty minutes. But...I think you should prepare for the worst case scenario.”

Abel's hands shook in his lap as his head dropped and he stared at the carpet. “How...how could

she...”

“Has Savannah had...unprotected sex with anyone?” The doctor asked, clearly trying to be as

gentle with his questions as possible.

Shaking his head slowly, Abel just stared at the floor. “No.” he whispered. “She's never...done

anything with anyone.”

“Has she ever...done drugs?” he asked carefully. “Possibly shared needles?”
Abel's head snapped up. “No.” he said sharply. “My sister isn't a junkie, or a slut.” He was aware

that his defensiveness was somewhat irrational, but he hated such questions being asked about
Savannah. She was the most wholesome person he knew.

“Abel.” the man reached out and gripped his wrist lightly. “I'm not in any way implying such

things. These are questions that have to be asked—to anyone in this situation. We're just trying to
figure out—should she test positive—where she might have contracted the disease. The most common
methods of transmitting the virus is through unprotected sex...and sharing dirty needles.”

“That doesn't apply to Savannah, she...” Dirty needles. Abel's heart stalled, his stomach dropping.

That night on the streets, behind that Chinese restaurant...they had been starving, hadn't eaten for
almost two days. They'd hid back in the shadows as old food garbage was dumped out in the trash
cans. Abel closed his eyes as he recalled Savannah rushing to one of the cans, digging into the
garbage in desperation, then yelping when she stabbed herself on something sharp. She had said it felt
like a needle, but neither had paid it much attention as they were both so focused on just finding
something to eat.

The doctor squeezed his wrist gently. “Abel...do you have any idea how she might have

contracted it?”

Able stood and walked a few feet away. His back still hurt, but the medication was helping a lot.

“No.” he whispered the lie as his chin dropped to his chest and he began to cry.

It's my fault. If I'd just taken better care of her... taken her to a shelter...

* * * *

The kid's arms curled around his waist and hugged tight as he stood with his back to Devlin and

cried. He didn't think Abel was telling him everything, but he didn't want to push him right now. He
stood slowly and moved closer to the boy. “Abel.” he said softly. “If she tests positive...we'll get her
treatment. There's no cure for HIV, but...with treatment...”

“How much?” Abel choked without looking at him.
“How much...what?”
He turned and faced Devlin, his lovely eyes now bloodshot and swimming in tears. “How much

does it cost? The treatment? The medication?”

“Uh...” Devlin frowned. “I...couldn't give you exact figures on the spot, but...it shouldn't matter. If

Savannah doesn't have medical, I'm sure she can get it.”

The boy grew agitated and anxious. “No.” he wiped at his eyes. “I'll pay for it.”
“Abel.” His brow pinched uncertainly. “That could be very expensive. You should first try getting

her on medical.”

“I said I would pay for it.” he whispered, insistent.
Devlin sighed. He doubted the amount of pay the boy made working in a club would come close

to being enough to pay for his sister's treatment and medication. “Well, we can discuss that later.” he
said, then released a slow breath. “Abel...if she is HIV positive...it's important that you get tested as
well.”

“I'm clean.” Abel said tightly, meeting the man's stare.
“You know this for sure?”
“Yes.” Abel cleared his throat and looked away, as if to conceal something as he informed

Devlin, “It's a requirement for working at the club. All employees have to be tested for STD's.”

Devlin frowned, puzzlement etched across his brow; since when were employees of a dance club

required to take an STD test?

* * * *

Cole returned when Dr. Grant left the waiting room. He sat down beside Abel but didn't press for

answers as to Savannah's condition. Abel wanted to tell him, needed someone to confide in, but the
words wouldn't come. There was the chance that she had caught the pneumonia simply because her
immune system was poor due to their time on the streets. It didn't have to mean she had HIV.

But when Dr. Grant returned with Dr. Jacobs, he saw it on both their faces. Cole stood and

excused himself when the doctors entered. Abel wanted to cling to him, beg him to stay, but he
couldn't move, couldn't speak as the two men sat before him and relayed the positive results of the
test.

Abel listened numbly as they spoke about treatments and medications. More tests that needed to

be done before it was determined how far the disease had progressed. But Dr. Grant had already
stated that the PCP was an AIDS-defining condition. Though they told him that it commonly took years
for HIV to transition to AIDS—but with Savannah's already weak immune system...it was possible
that it had transitioned more rapidly.

Either way—Savannah was infected with a disease that had no cure.

Chapter Six

Daytime Nightmares

Cole didn't question him on the drive back to the small apartment, and Abel offered up no details.

It was a quiet ride, though not tense. It was habit on the part of the most of the guys from the club to
respect one another's personal privacy. Many had pasts they just wanted to forget, leave dead and
buried. Abel was one of them, though his past seemed to trail him like the Grim Reaper, waiting for
that moment when it would snatch away what little he had acquired for himself and Savannah.

Already it was trying to steal Savannah away.
“You get some rest.” Cole said sternly when they were back at the apartment. “I'll go back to the

hospital and check on Savannah this afternoon, then let you know how she's doing. But you don't need
to be making trips back and forth right now.”

Abel nodded, though he would insist on visiting her by tomorrow. If Cole wouldn't take him, he

would take a cab.

“Max will probably be by later.” Cole told him. “I think he had something to talk to you about.”
Abel sat down carefully on the sofa. “What?”
“I don't know.” Cole shrugged. “He didn't say.”
Unease tightened Abel's brow. Surely Max wouldn't cut down his hours. He needed more hours,

more customers—not less.

Reading the look on his face, Cole smiled. “Don't worry about it. He isn't going to fire you.” He

winked. “That cute ass of yours brings in a hell of a lot business for the club.”

Abel rolled his eyes but laughed low. “If you say so.”
“Don't be modest.” Cole grinned. “You get more private requests than all of us.”
“Even Gabe?” Abel looked at him dubiously.
“Well,” Cole chuckled. “You're almost breaking even with Gabe. And that's saying a lot.”
Abel adjusted himself on the sofa. “Do you think Gabe might...help me tighten my act a little?

Maybe get more bonuses without the injuries?”

Standing at the door, Cole nodded. “I'm sure he would be happy to help you out.” he smiled. “He's

got a soft spot for you.”

Abel lifted an eyebrow. “And I think he's got a hard spot for you.”
Laughing softly, Cole shrugged. “Perhaps. But we're just friends who...enjoy each other. There's

nothing serious going on.”

“Okay.” Abel held up his hands and smirked. “If you say so.”
“I do.” Cole opened the door, grinning. “Now get some damn rest, boy.”
“Aye, aye, Cap'n.” Abel saluted him, though the humor behind it came off weak.
Cole chuckled. “Smart ass.” he shook his head and exited the apartment.
When the man stepped out the door and closed it behind him, the smile drained off Abel's face. He

leaned his head back and closed his eyes, his chest squeezing as the doctor's words came back to him.
This wasn't right. How could Savannah...His throat tightened, knotting with emotion.

“It isn't fair.” he choked quietly, tears welling without warning. He draped his arm across his eyes

as sobs shook his body. It isn't fucking fair!

* * * *

Cole tugged on the skin tight black leather pants, shimmying his hips back and forth as he worked

them up over his firm ass and his sizable bulge filling out his g-string underwear.

Gabe cocked an appreciative eyebrow. “Gonna get all that in there?”
“Oh yeah.” Cole grinned and did just that. The waistband of the pants reached just barely to his

hips where he fastened the snap and dragged up the zipper. He smacked his very defined crotch
smugly. “Snug as a bug in a rug.”

“Indeed.” Gabe chuckled. “Just make sure there's enough room for the men to stuff the cash in.

Some of those guys have big hands.”

Smirking, Cole sucked in his gut and tugged out the waistband about an inch at most. “Oh yeah, the

cash will fit.” He grabbed a sleeveless mesh shirt and pulled it on. He planted his hands on his hips
and cocked his head to the side, flicking his eyebrows. “How do I look?”

“Smokin' hot, baby.”
Cole nodded. “That's the look I was going for.” His gaze swept over Gabe's nearly naked body,

his only covering—if it could be called that—was a shimmering blue g-string that defined every
curve and ripple of the man's impressive cock.

A loud smack on his ass echoed and Gabe jumped. “Fuck!”
Dane chuckled and nuzzled his ear, squeezing the man's ass. “Nice.” He released him and looked

at Cole. “Double nice. Damn, baby. Sure you can breathe in those?”

Sucking in a deep breath that pushed his chest out against the mesh, Cole released it and grinned.

“Yep.” He looked Dane over. The man was about his age with ebony black hair and eyes nearly as
dark. Cole thought he had that classic James Bond look that he found sinfully sexy. He often
fantasized about a little ménage à trois with him and Gabe, though he had yet to voice it aloud. Though
somehow he felt their response would be...favorable.

Dane chuckled and gave him a heated look that tightened his already too tight pants. He flicked his

thumb back towards the door that led out to the front of the club. “So who's Mr. Big and Rich?” Dane
asked. “Sitting with Max at his private table?”

Shrugging, Cole shook his head. “Don't know.”
“I heard the man mention Abel's name.” Gabe said. “I've seen him here before. But Max has never

said who he is or what he wants.”

Dane glanced around. “Where is Abel?” he asked. “I didn't see him out front. Or is he off today?”
“He's off for a few days.” Cole scowled, anger simmering.
“Why?” Dane frowned. “What happened?”
“Some dumb fuck.” Cole said tightly. “Got a little too hands on in one of the booths and slammed

Abel against the corner of the door. Hurt his back pretty bad. Had to go to the hospital.”

Dane growled and shook his head. “Who do these fuckers think they are? And Abel's a good kid.

Sure as hell gives them their money's worth.”

“Yeah, well,” Cole smirked. “He walked away with a hefty bonus. So it wasn't all for naught.”
“Good.” Dane nodded. “The boy deserves it.”
Going to the door, Cole sought out Max and the other man. The guy appeared to be in his mid-to-

late thirties, well dressed in an expensive suit, dark hair professionally styled. Cole suspected if he
got a close up look at the man's hands, he would find his nails well manicured as well. Handsome
enough, even somewhat debonair. He wasn't entirely out of place; the Phoenix Club was fairly high
end.

They got a lot of the high society men, though more often than not they holed up in the VIP rooms

rather than flashing their faces in the main area of the club. Not all of them were eager to announce
that they frequented a gay strip club and paid hot young men to get their cocks hard.

Some of the boys went as far as providing hand jobs to the extra special customers who were

willing to pay a hefty bonus. Cole didn't doubt some even provided more in depth services than just
hand jobs—for the right price.

He had seen this man before—usually on Friday and Saturday nights when Abel went on stage.

Though as far as he knew, the guy had never requested a private dance from the boy.

Why are you discussing him with Max now?
Cole wasn't sure the cause, but his stomach tightened with anxiety.

* * * *

Just bend over and take it...or I'll give it to her.
Abel's face pinched as he rubbed his eyes and struggled to dispel the image pushing into his mind.

He didn't like being alone, and missed the club—the music, the shouting men, the flirting, the dancing
—it all provided the distraction Abel needed.

Even trying to survive on the streets had been a distraction. His mind had to always be working;

figuring out how to get food, where they would sleep that was moderately out of the weather and as
safe as possible, how to keep Savannah dressed warmly. There was never time to think, time to
reflect on the nightmare that had lasted nearly two years inside those brick walls in the inner city.
Even at night, his mind remained alert, never really sleeping—and therefore unable to dream.

But he was alone now. Nothing and no one to distract his thoughts. He had learned to accept the

occasional nightmare that crept in while he slept, now that he and Savannah had an apartment and he
didn't have to sleep with one eye open, so to speak. But his waking hours had always been filled and
occupied down to the last minute—he made sure of it. At the club, everything was just do, don't
think. And only on rare occasions—as with the man last night—did the past shove in and send him
into near panic.

Or when the doctor touched you.
Dr. Grant's face jumped into his mind and he closed his eyes. The man's tender touch to his brow

and cheek hadn't incited that inner alarm. Perhaps because the touch had been confined to his face. It
was when the man had touched his body that the panic had swelled. It would always be that way, he
was certain. He could never really be with anyone intimately, not on a personal level. At the club, it
was business, there were boundaries that—for the most part—kept him safe. The touching was
controlled.

Being touched by the doctor should not have set him off either. The hospital, also, was a

controlled environment. The boundaries there were clear as well. Doctor, patient. Nothing personal.
Except...Dr. Grant's touch had felt personal. Abel had sensed the extra care with which the man had
examined him. Though he had been professional...something deeper had seemed to emanate out
through his fingertips.

And that's what incited the panic. That step beyond just business into personal territory. Abel

couldn't go there. It wasn't controlled. Too much could go wrong...get out of hand. He could get hurt,
taken advantage of... Abused.

'You know the routine, kid.' Abel's eyes squeezed tighter as his arms slid up over his head, the

memories assaulting without mercy.

'Take off your clothes.' the guy watched him as he slowly removed his shirt and pants, but

hesitated with his underwear, though he knew it was pointless to fight it. 'All your clothes.' His
hands shook and tears dripped off his face as he bent over and shoved his underwear down to his
ankles then stepped out of them. He instinctively covered his privates but his hands were no
barrier against the man's groping touch. He clamped his eyes shut as the man dropped to his knees
and used his mouth on him, forcing him to get hard whether he wanted to or not. The man liked
him to be hard when he fucked him—it turned the guy on even more.

“Oh god.” Abel choked and shoved his face harder against his arms. But he couldn't get the man's

deep jade eyes out of his head. He had hated it most when the guy made Abel face him while he
fucked him, staring into those eyes that took so much pleasure in his pain and humiliation. The thrill of
his power and control over Abel had resonated from him.

“Just go away.” The words squeezed up Abel's throat as his fingers curled into his hair and

gripped fistfuls. Hot tears flooded his face. “Just leave me the fuck alone.”

But the nightmares remained—alive and well even in the bright light of day. No longer confined

to the darkness and night.

And with the old ones—new ones were emerging, riding on the tail of the doctors' words, their

cryptic diagnosis. There was no place left in his life that wasn't a nightmare.

Chapter Seven

Out Of Options

As Cole had suggested, Max showed up at the apartment around noon. The man came bearing

lunch. He set the white bag on the end table by the sofa along with a bottle of soda.

“Thought you might be hungry.” he said and grabbed one of the two kitchen chairs and dragged it

over to the sofa, twisted it around and sat on it backwards, arms resting across the back.

“Thanks.” Abel opened the bag to find a bacon cheese burger and fries. The tantalizing aroma of

the food kicked in his appetite and he took out the cheese burger, unwrapped its foil casing and bit
into it.

“So how are you doing?” Real concern was evident in the man's voice, as well as his eyes.
“I'm okay.” Abel murmured. “I'll be better in a couple days or so.”
Max nodded slowly. “And Savannah?” he asked quietly. “Gabe said you called Cole, had to take

her to the hospital? Is it serious?”

The burger faltered when Abel started to raise it to his mouth again. He set it on the bag and

picked up the soda, twisting off the cap slowly. “She's...really sick.” he whispered and took a drink of
the soda to wash down the tears suddenly trying to invade his throat.

“I wish I could put her on the club's insurance.” he said. “But it only covers employees.”
Abel nodded and twisted the bottle in his hands. “I know. It's okay, I'll...figure something out.”
Sighing, Max rubbed his lips together. “I know you don't want to leave a paper trail, Abel...but

maybe you should consider getting her on medical.”

Abel shook his head slowly. “I can't risk it. If they found me...” he raised his eyes. “I'm all

Savannah has. She needs someone to take care of her.” he shrugged and dropped his eyes back to the
soda bottle. “Besides, I don't even have any of her papers. Birth certificate, social security card,
nothing.”

Max was the only one who knew everything—where Abel had come from, what he had done, why

he was trying to stay below radar. He hadn't told anyone until that night three years ago when he'd
sneaked Savannah into the back of the club to get her out of the bitter cold. When he'd gone looking
for food—Cole had caught him and taken him to Max. He'd been offered a job as a stock boy—but the
offer only stood if he told Max the truth of his situation.

Abel recalled being terrified of telling the man everything, but he'd had no choice. Max was

offering the small apartment along with the job and he knew Savannah couldn't be out on the streets
anymore, not in the dead of winter. Her health was already diminishing. So he'd told him all of it,
praying he could trust the man.

Cole and the others only knew that he was a kid off the streets, and they didn't pry for further

details. What made them all so close was their respect for one another's secrets—many of them dark
secrets. It was as if their secrets in themselves created a kind camaraderie.

“What is wrong with her, Abel?” Max continued to require complete honesty from his boys, at all

times. He didn't like surprises, and if any of the guys got in the habit of lying to him, they were sent
out of the club.

For better or worse, the Phoenix was his home, and the other men there—the closest he'd ever

come to having a family. Abel trusted them to have his back, especially Cole, and Gabe. He felt safe

inside the walls of the club. And he would do nothing to jeopardize it all.

“She...” Tears filled his eyes and suddenly the thought of eating pinched his gut with nausea.

“She's...HIV positive...maybe worse.” the words slipped out on a broken whisper as the tears broke
with them, sliding down his face.

Max hung his head, his face tightening. “Fuck.” he bit sharply and closed his eyes. He shook his

head, sighing. “Shit, Abel...I'm sorry. You two don't deserve this.” Abel just stared at the bottle
turning slowly in his fingertips, tears creeping slowly down his cheeks. “Do you know how she...got
it?”

Taking a small drink of soda, Abel told him, “Just before we came to the club...we were out back

of a restaurant, digging through the trash cans.” He faltered, the memory of their time on the streets as
vivid as if they'd just left the streets yesterday. “Savannah...stabbed her hand on something...said it
felt like a needle.” He shook his head slowly. “I don't know how else she could have gotten it.” He
had been attributing her poor health to their street life, certain that the harsh weather and poor
nutrition had somehow weakened Savannah's immune system. But all this time, it had been...

“She should have been seeing a doctor regularly these last three years.” Abel's jaw tightened. He

screwed the cap back on the soda bottle. “If they had caught it sooner, maybe...” his face pinched,
forcing out fresh tears. “Maybe she wouldn't be so fucking weak and sick now.” He choked on a hard
cry and threw the bottle against the wall. “Fuck!”

“Abel.” Max left the chair and sat beside him on the sofa, wrapping an arm around his shoulders.

“This isn't your fault. Don't be blaming yourself.”

“It is!” he cried. “If I'd just...just taken better care of her. Taken her to the shelters more often. She

wouldn't have had to dig through fucking garbage to find something to eat.”

“Hey.” Max cupped the back of his head. “You were all she had out there. If you'd gotten caught,

taken away...who knows what would have happened to her. You did the best you could, Abel. And
Savannah knows that. Shit happens. You can't prepare for it. It's life's way of kicking you in the
balls.”

Abel rested his head in his hands. “What am I going to do?” he choked quietly. “How am I going

to pay for her treatment, her medication? What if she...” he choked again and shoved the heels of his
palms into his wet eyes. “What if she...has AIDS?”

Silence settled over them and Abel trembled at the horrifying thought of losing his sister to such a

vile disease. You should be the one with AIDS—you're the faggot! She doesn’t deserve this!

Max stood and paced slowly, his hand covering his mouth as he stared thoughtfully at the floor. “I

wasn't going to mention this...all things considered.”

“What?” Abel raised his head and wiped his eyes. “Mention what?”
Rubbing his hand slowly across his mouth, Max's lips pressed into a tight line. “Mr. Kaplan

requested a private meeting with me today.”

Kaplan. Horatio Kaplan. Abel's stomach tightened. He was well aware of the man, knew he had

taken a special interest in him, though Abel had found it surprising that the man had never requested a
lap dance or anything up close and personal. But he had chalked it up to the guy just being one of
those who got off on watching, rather than participating. On one hand, he preferred those customers.
But it was the ones who liked the close up stuff, the in your face teasing and light touching, that
shelled out the real cash. And Abel needed the cash customers...whether he truly wanted them or not.

“What...did he want?” Abel asked uncertainly, a little afraid of the answer.
“Well, not to put too fine a point on it,” Max murmured. “You.”
“I—I don't understand.” But he thought maybe he did—which made his stomach hurt even more,

causing an ache to tighten his chest.

Max returned to his chair and gazed at him, eyes tight. “He wants to...hire you for...” his lips

tightened. “Private services.”

Private services. He wants to pay me to let him fuck me. Abel looked at Max. “Why don't you

just say what you mean, Max?” Abel whispered. “He wants me to be his personal whore.”

A heavy sigh escaped the man. “I suppose that is what it boils down to. Yes.”
“Do you get anything out of it?” Abel asked, he shrugged. “A...commission?” Bitterness seeped

into his voice. Was Max trying to pimp him out?

“Of sorts.” Max sighed again. “The club would receive a sizable flat pay, since you are an

employee and a favorite amongst the customers at that. Not having you there on a regular basis would
cut down on business. So, besides what he paid you, he would also be paying the club as well.”

Abel nodded and stared at his hands. “So you...want me to do it?”
“I told you, Abel.” Max said. “I wasn't even going to mention it to you, because of what you went

through in your past. I know your issues. And I'm only mentioning it now because you need money—
and a lot of it. You're in a unique position here. Kaplan is willing to pay whatever it costs to have
you.” He slid his thumb absently across his lower lip. “You could require enough to pay for
Savannah's care. The man can certainly afford it.”

Well there you go. Problem solved. All you have to do is fuck the guy whenever he gets the itch .

Abel realized his hands were shaking and he squeezed them into tight fists. The man would want him
somewhere private...away from the club. In an uncontrolled environment to do as he pleased.

“You don't have to decide right now.” Max told him quietly. “Just focus on getting better. Then

make up your mind. And it is your choice, Abel. I would never push you into something that you're not
comfortable with. It's entirely up to you.”

Up to him? Bullshit. He had no options left for it to be a choice anymore.
Still, he didn't give Max an answer either way by the time he left. He'd mentioned on his way out

that Cole was going to go by the hospital then drop back by Abel's apartment soon.

Should he talk to Cole? But honestly, what was the point? All the talking in the world wouldn't

change the fact that he needed the kind of money Kaplan was offering.

* * * *

Abel refused to leave his thoughts.
Since leaving the hospital and arriving home, Devlin's mind had been running on a single track

that led him straight to Abel every time. He wanted to talk to the boy more about his sister, and getting
her care. Though he wished he could do it outside of the hospital, where everything didn't feel
so...impersonal.

Don't kid yourself—you just want to take the boy out on a date, even if it's just a lunch date, or

for coffee.

Okay, so maybe that was part of it. He did want some personal time with Abel, to get to know him

as a person and not just his patient. But he was deeply worried about Savannah. How long had she
been HIV positive? The longer a person went without treatment, the worse it could be. And the PCP
was a dire sign of the disease transitioning.

The critical part of his psyche accused him of taking such great concern for Savannah only

because she was Abel's sister. But he put that down in a hurry. It got to him on a deeper level
whenever it was a kid with a life threatening disease. It just seemed that kids should be untouchable.

Both he and his brother, Craig, had always had a soft heart for kids. Devlin had went into medicine to
do his part to help, and Craig had chosen the more direct route, often working with the outreach
centers to help get kids off the street, counseling. He had been a damn good man with a beautiful
heart.

It seemed like cold irony that it had been one of the very kids he'd been trying to help—who had

turned on him and taken his life. Over five years ago and still the sense of loss weighed heavily on
Devlin's heart. Perhaps what made it so hard to accept was that Craig's killer had never been brought
to justice. He'd disappeared without a trace. The case was still open, but the trail had long since run
cold. Though Devlin continued to check in with the police department on a regular basis, unwilling to
just let them forget. He'd also hired a private detective that he'd been paying for almost five years
now. But there was nothing. The killer was a ghost—vanished into thin air.

Devlin went to his bedroom and dropped on his back on the bed, combing his fingers through his

hair. A low groan squeezed up his throat. How had thoughts of Abel turned to his brother? He would
rather think of the boy, though he wondered why was he entertaining thoughts of the kid? He didn't
have a snowball's chance in hell of getting close to Abel. Still, he couldn't stop his thoughts from
going there...making him wonder how it would feel to kiss those soft lips, hold the young man's lean
body against his own—make love to him.

“Good God, man.” Devlin moaned out loud. “You just met him. Now you want to sleep with

him?” It was possible that the attraction was more sexual than anything—it had been quite some time
since Devlin had been intimate with anyone. But when Abel was right there in front of him...it felt like
so much more. Yes, he desired the boy. But wanted to know him on a deeper level. He admired the
kid for the care and concern he showed his sister. It was Devlin's impression that it was just Abel and
Savannah, no parents or anyone else.

How long had it been just the two of them?
Devlin sat up then leaned on his knees, staring at the floor. He should try and get some sleep

before he had to go back in to the hospital, but he knew his mind wasn't going to allow him any rest. If
he tried to sleep, he would just toss and turn and end up more exhausted than when he went to bed.

Just take a drive, clear your head. Then try and get some sleep.

Chapter Eight

Evidence Of A Lie

Cole couldn't stay long as he stopped by on his way back to the club. The black leather pants he

wore left very little to the imagination—everything underneath shifting and rippling with even the
slightest movement.

“You wore those to the hospital?” Abel asked doubtfully, a bit anxious.
“Yeah.” Cole grinned. “What? You don't like them?”
Abel shook his head. “Sure I do, but...” He didn't finish.
A hand suddenly ruffled his hair like he was a little kid. “No worries, babe.” Cole smirked and

dropped down on the sofa next to him. “Dr. Romeo didn't see me.”

Warmth seeped into Abel's cheeks. “So what if he did?” he shrugged and mumble, “I don't care.”
“Yeah. Uh huh.” Cole flashed a teasing smile. “Sure you don't. You think if he sees me dressed

like this, he might catch wind of which club we really work at.” He chuckled. “But hey, at least I
changed my shirt. Didn't wear the mesh top.”

Abel rolled his eyes and smiled. He tried to deny it to himself, but Cole was right—he didn't want

Dr. Grant knowing he made a living by stripping and dancing for horny men.

“So how was Savannah?” he asked quietly, his concern for his sister overriding talk of the doctor.

“Is she...any better?”

Cole straightened up on the sofa. “I talked to her doctor—Dr. Jacobs—he couldn't tell me much

since I'm not a family member, but he did say she was improving some. They're treating her for
pneumonia and she's responding well. But he wants to talk to you further about the full extent of her
condition.”

When Abel just nodded, gazing blankly at his hands, Cole reached over and gently squeezed the

back of his neck. “You know you can talk to me, right? About anything. You have my total confidence,
Abel.” He scooted closer and slid his arm around Abel's shoulder, kissing his hair. “I've been your
friend from the start.”

“I know.” Abel looked at him. “I know you have, Cole.”
Cole touched his face, slid his thumb across his lips. “I love you, Abel.” He ducked his head

momentarily and smiled. “You know what I mean.”

“Yeah.” Abel whispered. He loved Cole too. More than a brother, but not so much as someone he

would have a relationship with. Just...somewhere in between. A comfortable affection for the man.

“Good.” Cole leaned over and kissed him softly, then slid his thumb across his lips again. “When

the good doctor gets a taste of these lips,” he murmured, smiling, “he'll think he died and went to
heaven...'cause he'll swear he's kissing an angel.” Abel smiled and Cole kissed him again. “And
indeed...he will be.”

Abel ducked his head and licked his lips slowly. “I don't think I will be kissing any doctors.”
“Deny it all you want, angel boy.” Cole ran his fingers through Abel's hair then kissed his brow

warmly. “But you like the man...and he likes you. You can't hide from love, baby.”

“Love?” Abel looked at him dubiously. “Don't you think that's...jumping the gun a bit?”
Cole chuckled and winked. “Nope.” he stood up. “I know what I be seeing. And I be seeing two

guys tumbling head over heels for each other.”

“You are delusional.” Abel shook his head, smiling.
“We'll see.” he said. “Now get some rest and don't be worrying about Savannah. She's in capable

hands. They're taking good care of her.” He walked to the door. “Maybe Gabe and I will come over
tonight after work and...” he winked. “...keep you entertained.”

* * * *

Devlin had no destination in mind when he left his place and climbed back in his car. At least he

hadn't thought he was going anywhere specific—until he found himself cruising past the Zodiac dance
club. As if his body were functioning apart from his mind, he guided the car into a parking space. He
sat for a moment just listening to the tick of the engine, wondering what he was doing here. Abel was
at home, so it wasn't as if he had any chance of seeing him. Still, he left the car and walked into the
club.

Being the middle of the day, the occupancy was minimal. Devlin climbed onto a stool at the bar.

The bartender was a decently handsome guy with an average build. He flashed Devlin a friendly
smile. “What can I getcha?”

“Just a beer.” Devlin glanced around the club then back to the bartender when he slid a slender

beer glass to him across the bar. Devlin took a drink. “Is Cole working today?”

The man grabbed a towel and began wiping down shot glasses. “Cole who?” he frowned.
“Cole...I don't know his last name.” Devlin said. “Tall guy, late twenties, maybe thirty. Blondish

hair. Built.”

The bartender shook his head. “Don't know anyone by that name or description.”
Devlin pressed his lips tight, nodding slowly. “How about Abel? Young guy, nineteen. Dark

blond hair. Amber colored eyes...he work here?”

“Mmm...nope.” the man looked at him. “Sure you got the right club?”
Sipping his beer, Devlin murmured, “I thought I did.” He downed half the beer, paid for it and left

a nice tip. “Thanks. Have a good day.”

“You too.” the bartender nodded.
Seated behind the steering wheel, Devlin gazed absently out the windshield. Why would Cole lie

about where they worked?

“It doesn't matter.” he murmured and started the car. “Abel is a patient, nothing more. Let it go.”
But on the drive home, his mind refused to obey. Abel's amber eyes gazed back at him, so soft and

warm...and full of mysteries Devlin longed to solve.

* * * *

Though he didn't want to think about the doctor, the man provided a distraction from the stress of

Savannah's condition and...Horatio Kaplan's proposition.

He closed his eyes and Dr. Grant's face instantly rose in his mind. Those deep blue eyes like the

sea at night, beckoning Abel to dive in and submerge himself in their soothing depths. He wished it
were that easy. Just a simple yes to the man, and then let him sweep him off his feet without a care to
where they were sailing off to.

A slow burning ache suffused his heart. He could never have a normal relationship—his past had

taken care of that when it broke him, damaged him. The closest he would come to feeling loved...is
what he shared with Cole and Gabe, even Dane—though he had never had sex with any of them.

Sometimes at night, when the bad memories and nightmares pressed in on him...he wished for Cole to
be there with him, his strong arms and body shielding him from the horror of his past. If he asked Cole
to spend the night with him, the man would do it, without hitch. Abel had no doubt about that. Then
there were those especially troubling nights when he wished to be sleeping between both Cole and
Gabe, both men huddled close to his body, providing a protective barrier all around.

But he had never asked them to stay.
Since meeting Dr. Grant, he had found himself longing to spend his nights in his arms, head on the

man's chest, allowing the steady beat of his heart to soothe away the nightmares as he fell into
peaceful sleep. But it was all just fantasy. The comforting embrace of the man's arms was something
he would never know.

The ache of that reality was still static in his heart when Cole and Gabe arrived. He hadn't been

certain if Cole had been serious about them coming over, and was mildly surprised when they
showed up. Gabe brought with him a stack of dvd's and Cole came bearing soda and beer. He set the
six-pack of soda in Abel's lap then popped loose a couple beers and tossed one to Gabe.

“So I don't get beer?” Abel asked. “What am I—five?”
Cole dropped down next to him, opening his can of beer. “You're taking pain medication. No

alcohol for you.”

“So,” Gabe said, flipping through the movies. “We got action, comedy, horror, sci-fi.” He looked

at Abel. “You choose.”

Abel shrugged. “I don't know...comedy?”
“Works for me.” Gabe put the movie in then grabbed his beer and sat down on the other side of

Cole.

Taking a long swallow of beer, Cole set the can aside then draped his arms across the back of the

sofa, around both Abel's and Gabe's shoulders. On the small sofa, the three were somewhat crowded
together. Cole grinned, “Well aren't we snug?”

Gabe chuckled and grabbed Cole's crotch. “Snug as a bug in a rug.” Cole dropped his head back

and laughed.

Lifting a curious eyebrow, Abel asked, “Am I missing something?”
“Nah.” Gabe chuckled again. “Just a little reference to the pants Cole was wearing earlier.”
“Ah.” Abel smirked. “The tight leather ones?”
“So you saw them?” Gabe grinned.
“Yeah. He wore them to the hospital this afternoon.”
Cole squeezed Abel's neck and pressed his mouth to his head. “I told you—Dr. Romeo didn't see

me. Your secret is safe.”

“I wanna know more about this Dr. Romeo.” Gabe popped the tab of his beer and downed a

swallow. “Hear he's gorgeous as fuck.”

Abel groaned. Cole would have to spread his little theory around about Abel and the doctor.

“There's nothing to know.” Abel mumbled and opened a can of soda. “Cole is delusional.”

“Oh I don't doubt he has delusional tendencies.” Gabe snickered. “But I'd bet he's spot on about

the doc. I mean, how could he not go for you, little buddy? You and your freaking hot little body.” He
gave a single shake of his head. “Damn.”

“Little buddy?” Abel shook his head. “What is this—Gilligan's Island?”
Cole tightened his arms around both men. “I can't say I would hate being stranded on a deserted

island with you two. What fun we could have.”

“Who needs a deserted island to have fun?” Gabe grinned darkly and slid his hand into Cole's

crotch again, massaging firmly. Cole groaned and shifted his hips a little, then tilted Abel's face
towards him and kissed him deep. When he drew back, Abel rubbed his lips together and took a sip
of soda. “What the hell is this?” Gabe smirked. “I provide the massage...and sexy boy over there gets
the kiss? What's up with that?”

Abel laughed softly. Cole covered Gabe's hand and pressed it harder against his crotch. “Keep

rubbing and I'll show you what's up.”

After taking another dose of his pain medication, Abel began to doze in and out of sleep. At one

point, he awoke to Cole's deep groans and Gabe's face down in his lap. But sleep continued to grab at
him, pulling him back under...dragging him to that dark, distant place he couldn't escape.

When he came out of his sleep the next time—he did so with a scream.

Chapter Nine

Stay The Night

“Stop. I don't want to do this anymore.” the boy shoved at the man's hands as he groped his

body.

“Like I give a fuck?” the guy grabbed his hands and twisted them painfully behind his back

and shoved him face down on the bunk. His heavy body pressed down on the boy, pushing the air
from his lungs as his mouth hovered at the kid's ear. “You're gonna keep taking it, you little bitch,
for as long as I say so.”

The man shoved the boy's face harder into the coarse blanket and suddenly he couldn't

breathe. “Get off me!” he choked, muffled into the blanket, struggling for air. But his lungs were
compressed and his airways blocked. “I can't...breathe...”

* * * *

“Get off me!” Abel fought the hands that grabbed at him, crying, wrestling to get loose.
“Abel!” Cole's sharp voice cut through the dream and jerked him back to consciousness. He

gasped for air, his lungs tight from the vividness of the nightmare. “Abel—it's me.” Cole held his
wrists to keep from getting hit in the face. “Calm down, babe. It's just me.”

Abel was shaking, tears streaking his face as his eyes focused. Cole and Gabe stared at him,

concern tightening their brows. As soon as he calmed, Cole released him. He drew back and shifted
on the sofa, pulling his eyes away from theirs. His hand trembled as he wiped the tears from his face.

“What the hell were you dreaming about?” Cole asked.
Chewing his thumbnail, Abel shook his head slowly, staring at the floor. “Nothing.” he

whispered.

“Seemed like something to me?” Abel closed his eyes and fresh, warm tears seeped out. Cole's

arm went around him and hugged him close. “It's okay, Abel.” he said softly. “Whatever it is...it's
over. You're right here, with us. You're safe.”

Gabe moved around and sank to his heels before Abel, resting his hands on his knees. “You don't

have to be scared, kid. It was just a dream.”

Just a dream. But it wasn't just a dream. Gabe's baby blue eyes held his and more tears rose up.

“No.” he trembled. “It wasn't.”

Gabe frowned with uncertainty and glanced at Cole.
“What do you mean?” Cole asked.
He wanted to tell them, knew he could trust them...but it hurt too much to speak it out loud, made it

too real again. “Nothing.” he mumbled and started to move, then gasped when the pain in his back
halted him. “I just...need to go to bed.” His face pinched as he pushed himself up off the sofa.

“Easy there.” Cole took hold of him and slipped an arm around his waist for support.
“I'm not crippled.” Abel murmured. “I can walk.”
Gabe stood and stepped out of the way as Cole ignored Abel's protests and helped him to the

bedroom. He pulled back the blankets and laid him down on the sheet. “How soon can you take more
of your pain meds?” Cole asked and unfastened the snap of Abel's pants then slowly pulled them off.

Glancing at the digital clock on the nightstand, he said, “Maybe an hour or so.”
“Does your back hurt bad?”
“Kind of.” he said quietly.
Cole pulled the blankets over him then sat on the edge of the bed. Gabe had followed them in, and

walked to other side of the bed and sat down, leaning back against the wall. “We'll stay.” Gabe said.
“At least until you can take some more meds and get some sleep.”

The thought of going back to sleep made Abel's stomach hurt. While working at the club, he was

usually exhausted by the time he came home. His sleep was deep and dreamless most of the time. But
now, with no physical exertion to wear him out, his sleep was lighter and the dreams found their way
in.

“I don't want to sleep.” he whispered as more tears burned behind his eyes.
“What did you mean?” Gabe asked. “When you said the dream wasn't just a dream?”
Abel rested against the pillow and stared at the ceiling, warm tears draining down his temples.

“They're...memories.”

Cole and Gabe exchanged a look, then Cole brushed his fingers through Abel's hair. “Well,

memories or no, they're over now. It's in the past.” he smiled. “You belong to us now, and we'll kick
the ass of anyone or anything that tries to hurt you.” He slid his thumb across Abel's damp cheek.
“Okay?”

Nodding, Abel slid his hand up over Cole's. “Okay.” he whispered thick. Cole meant every word

of it, he had no doubt. But the nightmares...they were about to become reality again—when he
accepted Kaplan's offer.

“Here.” Cole tugged up Abel's shirt. “Take off your shirt and lay on your stomach. We'll rub your

back, maybe ease the pain till you can take the meds.”

Abel let him peel off his shirt, then turned carefully onto his stomach. Cole drew the blankets

down to his waist then he and Gabe stretched out on each side of him and began to gently rub up and
down his back. He hugged the pillow under his head and closed his eyes as the pain mellowed out
some. Both men dropped soft kisses on his skin as their hands soothed his mind as well as his body.
Never in his entire life had he ever felt so loved or cared for as he did in that moment.

“Will you stay with me?” Abel murmured, his eyes growing heavy. “All night?”
Cole kissed his shoulder. “We will.”
At some point, both men shed their clothes down to their shorts and slipped beneath the blankets

with Abel. Their warm bodies felt good, comforting. He wondered if he would feel as at ease
and...safe...with the doctor as he did with Cole and Gabe. How amazing would it be to have a love in
his life that he could give himself to fully? But the thought only saddened him and made his heart ache.
He trusted Cole and Gabe because they had always been part of the controlled environment that was
now his life. The doctor wasn't.

He wasn't aware of the tears until they began to roll down the bridge of his nose and drip onto the

pillow.

“What's wrong, babe?” Gabe whispered and laid his head on the pillow, his face just inches from

Abel's. He brushed away his tears. Abel kept his eyes closed.

“I'm...ruined.” the words seeped out, broken.
“What?” Cole rubbed his hand up his back and kissed his hair. “What're you talking about, Abel?”
He pressed his face into his pillow and cried. “I can't ever...be with anyone. I'll always...be

alone.”

“Hey.” Cole murmured. His thumb massaged the nape of Abel's neck. “You'll never be alone.

You'll always have us.”

“That's right.” Gabe kissed his face.
Abel choked on a sob, his chest hitching. “He...ruined me.” he shuddered violently and Cole

pressed his body closer.

“Who, Abel?” Cole whispered. “Who ruined you?”
Broken sobs pushed up his throat and his body shook. “The man who...raped me for two years.”

* * * *

Exhaustion tugged at Devlin's mind and body by the time he returned to the hospital. He'd gotten

little to no sleep, his thoughts refusing to let go of Abel—and the fact that Cole had lied about where
they worked.

Once back at the hospital, his mind continued to work overtime, wrestling with a plausible excuse

to see Abel outside the hospital. What would happen if he just showed up at Abel's door and asked
him out for coffee? Would he go? Devlin suspected the boy would likely make an excuse as to why he
couldn't go with him. Yet he found himself tempted by the notion nonetheless, though he doubted he
would actually go through with it.

When he went by to see Savannah, the girl was awake and focused. When he'd checked on her

condition for Abel, she had still been slightly delirious and out of it.

“Hey.” Devlin smiled. “How are you feeling?”
“Better.” she whispered.
“That's good.” he nodded. “I'm Dr. Grant. I was the one who examined your brother when he

came in with his injured back.”

Savannah glanced around. “Where...is he?”
“At home.” Devlin said as he began to check her vitals. “It isn't good for him to be up moving

around too much until his back gets better. But I'm sure he'll be in soon to visit you.”

Though physically the girl appeared much younger than her sixteen years, there was a maturity

behind her eyes. Almost too much. And something else...a shadow of haunt. It was reminiscent of
what hid behind Abel's beautiful eyes. What had they experienced that would've left them so haunted?
A quiet ache crept through his heart for both Savannah and Abel. Did they even have anyone but each
other?

“Abel worries...a lot.” Savannah said quietly. “Can you let him know I'm okay?”
Devlin's pulse quickened at the mere thought of talking to Abel again. “Of course. Is there a phone

number where I can reach him?”

The girl hesitated. “He has a cell phone, but...he told me never to give out the number without

asking him first.”

Devlin nodded. “I understand.” He wanted to offer to go to their place and talk to him face to face

—a pliable excuse for just showing up unannounced—but he knew the more practical option was
simply allowing the girl to call him herself. “You can call out on the phone, if you want to talk to him
yourself.” Devlin nodded at the phone on the roll-away table beside her bed.

“Oh.” Savannah glanced at the phone, then at the clock. “I should wait till morning. He's probably

asleep. He goes to bed early...at least when he's working.”

Devlin rubbed his lips together and offered casually, “He works at a club, doesn't he?”
The girl nodded.
Pressing cautiously, he asked, “What does he do there?”

Savannah shrugged. “Works in the back, I think. Like a stock boy.”
His heart thumping at his ribs, Devlin looked at her. “Which club does he work at?”
She started to answer, then stopped abruptly. “He told me not to tell anyone. He doesn't like for

people to know personal things about us.”

“Why is that?”
Savannah went real quiet, her eyes suddenly evasive. “I don't know.” she mumbled, but her entire

demeanor said she did.

“Okay.” Devlin smiled. “Then I'll stop prying. It's none of my business. I was just curious.”
When he left her room, Abel was even more of a mystery to him than when he'd entered. The boy

seemed very careful about making sure his sister didn't give out personal information. Was he just
being cautious in this day and age...or was there more to it?

* * * *

Piece by piece, the details of his past tumbled out. He told Gabe and Cole everything. Almost

everything. That one piece of the puzzle he kept hidden away.

Cole held him while he cried through the painful recollection of all he and Savannah had endured.

Gabe lay close against him as well, caressing his back, dropping kisses in his hair, whispering that
everything was okay now, that they would never let anyone do those things to him ever again.

Emotional exhaustion finally took him and he fell asleep with his head on Cole's chest, both men's

arms tucked securely around him, their bodies a safe haven, combating the bad dreams and holding
them at bay as he slept soundly, peacefully throughout the rest of the night.

Chapter Ten

Hope Among Heartache

The cell went off at seven in the morning, dragging Abel from a heavy sleep. He lifted his head

off the pillow and glanced around; Cole and Gabe were no longer in the bed. He fumbled for the
phone then opened it. “Hello?” his throat was scratchy and raw from crying so much last night, his
voice rasping.

“Abel?”
Savannah's soft voice snapped him fully awake. “Savannah?”
“Dr. Grant told me I could use the phone to call you.”
Just the mention of the doctor quickened Abel's heart rate, but he pushed aside thoughts of the

man. “How...do you feel?” he asked slowly as cold reality began to creep back in, his stomach
twisting and pinching. In Cole and Gabe's arms, he had found a moment of peaceful sleep where all
the nightmares had faded away. But now they were back—becoming pronounced with the morning
light rather than diminishing. And with them, a hollow dread.

“Better.” she said. “How are you? Does your back still hurt bad?”
Abel shifted in bed. “Not as bad.” he admitted. “It'll be better soon. I'll be in today to see you,

okay?”

He could hear the smile in her voice when she said, “Okay. Good.” Had Dr. Jacobs spoken to her

about her condition? She sounded too...light-hearted...to have been told the news. He would surely
want Abel there when he did, wouldn't he?

“Do you want me to bring you anything?” he asked quietly, his throat suddenly tight, wanting to

scream out the unfairness. “Something to read?”

“Maybe some of my magazines.”
“Okay. I'll be sure and grab them.” he said, struggling to put lightness in his voice but feeling the

heaviness of his words as well as hearing it. “You should try and get as much rest as you can.”

“Abel...” worry suddenly tightened her voice. “It costs a lot to be in the hospital...doesn't it?

How...”

“Let me worry about that.” Abel told her. God knew, she was going to have enough to try and deal

with soon enough, she didn't need to be worrying about money. “I'll figure something out. You just
focus on getting better. I always take care of us, don't I?” His own words cut at him. If you were so
fucking good at taking care of her, she wouldn't be sick now.

“Yeah. You do.” Savannah said softly, and her profession broke his heart. She trusted him with

her life...and he had failed her.

His back protested when he crawled out of bed, but it wasn't as bad as yesterday, though still hurt

plenty. He dressed and went out to the kitchen. The shower was running and he suspected both Cole
and Gabe were sharing it. Moving stiffly, he grabbed a bowl and some cereal then sat at the small
table. He had just begun to eat when the guys returned from the shower.

“You should have let us serve you breakfast in bed.” Cole said. “You're still supposed to be

staying off your feet and resting.”

“I made a bowl of cereal.” Abel shook his head. “Not really a strenuous feat.”
Gabe chuckled and walked over, ruffling Abel's hair. “I have to get back to the club. I got an early

shift today.” He leaned down and kissed Abel's mouth, then smiled and licked his lips. “Yum. Cocoa
Puffs.”

“You're a cocoa puff.” Abel muttered, smirking.
Laughing, Gabe shrugged. “Never been called that before, but I guess it's fitting.” He gave Cole a

long kiss then smacked his ass. “I will see you later.” He cast Abel another look. “Get better, baby.
We already miss you at the club.”

Abel nodded and smiled. Nothing about last night was mentioned. He'd opened up and revealed

things that they surely knew was very difficult for him speak about. It didn't have to be discussed in
the cold light of day for him to know that they held sacred what he'd told them. And that they would be
there for him, day or night, should he ever need them again.

* * * *

Savannah, indeed, looked better when Abel entered her room. But he feared it was an illusion.

How long until the infection began to drain away her spirit, the light from her eyes? Would he look at
her one day and see merely an empty shell? A shadow of the girl she had once been? Already, their
life on the streets had stolen so much of it, even before the moment she had contracted the disease out
behind the restaurant.

The forced smile turned genuine when she turned her big sea green eyes on him and her face lit

up. “Abel.” she smiled. “I'm so glad you're here. Did you bring my magazines?”

He held up a paper bag and grinned. “What? You thought I'd forget? Have I ever forgotten

anything in my life?” She started to speak and he laughed. “Don't answer that.”

A shadow of concern darkened her eyes when she noticed the stiffness to his movements. “If you

were hurting too much, you didn't have to come in.”

“Nah.” he smirked and waved his hand absently. “I'm tough.” He gave an exaggerated wince and

made as if he were suddenly crippled. Savannah laughed and he straightened up. “No, I'm okay.
Really. Just a little sore. A few more days and I'll be good as new.”

Savannah smiled and flopped back against the elevated mattress and pillows. “Me too, I hope.”

she moaned. “I so wanna go home. The food here is gross. They don't put salt on anything.”

Tears burned Abel's eyes and he looked away quick. “Uh, yeah.” he cleared his throat. “Sounds

pretty gross.”

“You okay?”
“Yeah.” He swallowed hard and faced her again, hoping his eyes didn't look as wet as they felt.

“So...meet any cute guys yet?” He teased. His throat wanted to close, but he fought the emotion.

Savannah shrugged. “Dr. Grant is kind of cute...but too old for me.” She snickered. “But you might

like him.”

“Ha ha.” Abel tickled her and she squealed. “That's what you get.”
She laughed and shoved his hands away. “He said he was the one you saw when you came in

about your back.”

“Yeah.” Abel nodded.
“He was asking about you.” She smiled.
Abel's pulse shuddered. “Asking...what?”
“What you did at the club. What club you worked at.”
His chest tightened as his ears began to ring. “You didn't tell him, did you?”
“No.” she said. “You told me not to tell anyone anything personal.”

“Good.” Abel nodded slowly.
Savannah stared at him. “But why do you care if he knows you work at a gay club? You've never

cared if people know you're gay.”

“I just...think we should keep our private life...private.” He looked at her seriously. “I know a lot

of time has passed, Savannah...but we still can't take chances.

* * * *

We still can't take chances.
Devlin caught Abel's last words as he approached the door to Savannah's room. He had taken an

extra shift in hopes that Abel would come in—though the boy really needed to be home and resting.

The kid's words had been steeped in seriousness. Take chances...about what?
“Good morning, young lady.” Devlin smiled as he entered the room. Abel turned quick, startled

by his sudden appearance. He smiled warmly at the boy. “Abel. How is your back?”

“A little better.” he mumbled and averted his gaze. When he did, a sliver of disappointment

needled Devlin's heart. He loved it when Abel looked at him with those lovely amber eyes.

“That's good.” Devlin told Abel. “Just make sure you get plenty of rest.” The boy nodded as

Devlin stepped past him, close enough to brush arms with him. Abel moved back out of the way.
“And how are you feeling this morning, Savannah?”

“All right.” she said.
“Getting enough to eat?”
She wrinkled her nose. “I don't like the food.”
Devlin chuckled. “It's hospital food. Who does?”
“I might,” Savannah suggested. “If I could taste it. Why don't they put salt on anything?”
Abel had moved around to the opposite side of the bed. Devlin cast him a quick glance and caught

the boy watching him discreetly. His heart stuttered. “Well, apparently they think that by cutting out
salt...everyone will magically become healthy.”

“I think I would rather be unhealthy and be able to taste my food.” Savannah smiled.
The sad, pained look that swept across Abel's face wasn't lost on Devlin. They had a long,

difficult road ahead of them, and Abel knew it. For a moment, he looked like a lost child as he gazed
at his sister with heartbreak in his eyes. Surely feeling inadequate to deal with such a huge,
intimidating creature as AIDS.

Devlin fought the urge to walk over and wrap his arms around the boy and just hold him tight,

soothe his broken heart and ease his fears. He had no idea how to get through the wall that Abel had
clearly built around himself.

But he saw a brief window of opportunity when the nurse came in and ushered them out while

they helped Savannah shower and changed her bed.

Standing in the hall outside the room, Abel fidgeted anxiously.
“It's going to be about twenty minutes or so before they're done.” Devlin said, then summoned his

nerve and asked, “Can I buy you a cup of coffee, or a cold drink, while you wait?”

The tension that gripped Abel seemed a sure warning of an approaching turn down. But to

Devlin's pleasant surprise, the boy nodded—and Devlin's heart nearly jumped out of his chest.

Chapter Eleven

A Moment Alone

Why had he agreed to go with the man?
Rather than leading the way to the hospital cafeteria, the doctor suggested they go to the small

coffee shop about a block down from the hospital. Abel had no viable reason to refuse and walked
the block in silence as the man made small talk about the weather and such.

They took a table at the back of the coffee shop near a large plate glass window. Sun rays were

beginning to pour through, warming Abel's right cheek.

“I thought the coffee here might be more digestible than in the cafeteria.” the guy offered with a

note of humor.

His smile was intoxicating, and magnetic—causing the corners of Abel's mouth to twitch. His

eyes crept to the man's lips, his fantasies of the doctor beginning to swirl inside his head. A sudden
hardening of the crotch startled Abel and his cheeks warmed beyond the effects of the sun. He was
unnerved by the man's intense gaze and needed to bring things back to an official level...and away
from all things personal.

“How long will it take to get Savannah's test results back, Dr. Grant?” he asked low, allowing

activity outside the window to draw his eyes, keeping them off the doctor's handsome face.

“Devlin.”
“Huh?” Abel cast a quick glance at the man.
“My name is Devlin.” That smile again, slinking around Abel's heart, squeezing, quickening his

breath. “I prefer first names...as opposed to titles.”

Abel nodded and made a valiant attempt not to get swept away in the man's midnight eyes, but

they had the hypnotic effect of the sea, ebbing at the edges of his heart like a gentle surf, urging him to
come take a dip in my refreshing depths.

The waitress appeared at their table just seconds before Abel was about to test the waters. The

interruption was welcome. What the hell had he been thinking? He couldn't allow himself to get
caught up in the man. It would be as unfair to Devlin as it was to himself.

Devlin. Why did it do funny things to his heart just knowing the man's first name? It made things

more personal...and that wasn't good.

They ordered their coffee and for a moment, Devlin's attention shifted to the waitress. He was

pleasant, friendly, but though the young woman was quite pretty and was clearly making eyes at him—
Devlin showed no personal interest.

As if there was any doubt as to his preferences . The man had been sending silent signals to Abel

from the moment they had met. How was it Devlin was so certain Abel was gay, though? He didn't
have that stereotypical demeanor that so many—often falsely—associated with gay men. Yet the man
just seemed to know. Of course, perhaps all his discreet glances of interest weren't so discreet after
all. Cole had picked up on them right away.

The waitress left and Devlin's eyes landed on him once more. “To answer your question,” Devlin

said. “It should only take a day or so for the results to come back.” Abel nodded and pressed his lips
tight, keeping his gaze on the table. “What we're looking for...hoping to find...is a CD4 level higher
than two hundred.”

“What is...CD4?” Abel lifted his eyes, his brow creased.
“CD4 cells are infection fighting cells. White blood cells. The higher the count, the better the

immune system is working. Two hundred or below...” he licked his lips then rubbed a slow hand
across his mouth. “Is often an indicator that the HIV virus has transitioned into AIDS.”

Abel felt sick. He could feel the blood drain from his face and thought he must be white as a

sheet. This was all so surreal. His whole life seemed like one long horror movie, and anymore...he
just wanted it to be over. Roll the fucking credits already.

* * * *

The devastation his words caused broke Devlin's heart. The boy's eyes glossed heavily but he

fought the tears. He wouldn't cry in front of Devlin. Not again, as he'd done early the morning he'd
first learned of his sister's condition. Did Abel think his tears made him appear weak?

The boy's fists were clenched tight, resting tensely on the table top, his eyes lowered. His throat

worked as he struggled to hold back his emotions.

“Nothing is definite until the tests come back, Abel.” He needed to offer the kid words of

assurance as well. It hurt to think everything he spoke to Abel only broke his heart a little more. He
longed to soothe…not injure. “I know I said that you need to prepare for the worst, but...it's good to
have hope as well. Keep the faith.”

“Faith?” Abel looked at him, his tears pressing at the corners of his eyes, building. “You

mean...faith in God?” Strong bitterness coursed through his words. “Why the fuck should I have faith
in a God who has never given a fuck about me or my sister?” His voice rose with an all new
conviction Devlin wasn't prepared for. Up until now, all the boy had shown was a kind of
submission, and withdrawal into himself. Now, suddenly, his amber eyes burned with anger
and...hurt. The boy felt totally and completely abandoned by God—and behind the anger was the
question Why? Why doesn't God love us? Why did he forsake us?

Devlin's throat tightened. He had no answer to his question—the spoken one or the silent ones.

Abel calmed when he realized others were looking his way. “I'm sorry.” Devlin offered quietly. “I
didn't mean to...upset you.” You didn't mean to upset him? Why the hell should anything you said
upset him? “I just...don't want you to give up hope. Hope keeps us strong, keeps us going.”

Abel sniffed and swallowed hard, his head ducked. His tight fists relaxed some and, before he

could consider the move, Devlin reached over and covered Abel's hand with his own, his thumb
gently caressing the boy's fingers. Abel tensed instantly but didn't immediately pull away. I care
about you, Abel. You don't have to go through this alone, just let me in and I'll walk through hell
with you if that's where life takes you.

The words were there and he longed to release them. And perhaps would have, given enough

time, but Abel drew back away from his touch and he knew the moment was past for heartfelt
expressions.

“Hope is an illusion.” Abel whispered, the bitterness seeping back into his voice. “There is

only...Cold. Hard. Reality.” His eyes met Devlin's, and what he saw there, tore him up inside.
“Facing reality is what makes you strong. Just dealing with...what is. Hope is a lie. It makes you
believe in...” an unexpected emotion slipped quickly past behind his eyes. “...what will never be.”

His lips tightening, Devlin nodded slowly. “I'm sorry you feel that way, Abel.” he murmured.

“But it only makes life harder when we refuse to believe in something...good. Something bigger than
ourselves.”

Tears glazed those amber depths once more. “I guess that works for you. And why shouldn't it?

I'm sure you've had a balance of good and bad in your life.” His face tightened. “But I don't know
what the fuck good is. So just save your fucking fluffy bunny theories and philosophies. I don't want
to fucking hear them.”

Abel stood quickly and Devlin was on his feet in a rush. Without thinking, he grabbed Abel's arm

to prevent him from walking away. “Abel, wait.”

The bitter, hard as nails exterior the boy had adopted suddenly crumbled and his tears broke as he

ripped his arm loose from Devlin's hand in what bordered on panic. “Don't fucking touch me!” he
cried, jabbing a shaky finger at Devlin, the force in his voice wavering. “Don't ever...touch me.”

* * * *

Abel was shaking and couldn't stop. Why had he freaked out? The man hadn't grabbed him

violently or in anger. But just him taking hold and trying to stop Abel from retreating had sent him into
panic mode.

Standing back, Devlin didn't try to grab him again as he backed away unsteadily. Eyes were on

them, but he ignored them. The ache in Devlin's gaze encased his heart, tried to pull him back, but he
didn't trust it. The man was outside his safe zone. And he didn't trust anyone outside the safe zone.

I'm sorry, the words rose up alongside a fresh well of tears. I'm sorry I yelled at you...I'm sorry

you like me...but I can't like you back. I can't—I don't know how!

Abel turned and left the coffee shop before even drinking a drop. He half expected the doctor to

come after him, try to talk to him, but he let him go.

That's good. You don't need him around . Though his head knew that was true—his heart ached

for the man's persistence, desperate for Devlin to fight for him, not give up at any cost to have him.

Short, bitter laughs erupted from Abel as he moved quickly down the sidewalk, swiping irritably

at his eyes. Fight for you? HA! Just wait till he finds out what you do—then see how fast he runs
away.

Once back at the hospital, he slipped into the restroom and washed his face. His emotions

bubbled at the surface and he was half afraid to go back to Savannah's room. Just looking at her,
knowing how dire her condition was—coupled with the feelings Devlin was inciting—Abel wasn't
sure he could keep it together. And he needed to—for Savannah. When she learned about her
disease...he feared it would break her. She would need him more than ever.

Digging the small bottle of pain pills from his pocket, Abel's hands shook as he worked off the lid

and dumped a couple into his palm. His back was tightening up fiercely and the low throb was
steadily gravitating to sharp spears of pain. He downed the pills then left the restroom and returned to
Savannah's room.

Less than an hour later, Abel called a cab and left the hospital. He hadn't seen anymore of Devlin,

and wondered if he would—other than the times when it was unavoidable.

“Where to?” The cab driver asked when Abel just sat silently in the backseat.
He started to give him his address, but the thought of going home, sitting alone with his thoughts

with nothing to distract him...it made him feel sick.

“The Phoenix Club.” he said quietly and leaned back against the seat and closed his eyes.

Chapter Twelve

A Friendly Request

“Abel? Hey! Back to work already?”
“Hey, Ricky.” Abel high-fived the cute, black-haired guy, and shook his head. “No. Just...hanging

out.”

Ricky chuckled and shot a quick look to Abel's crotch. “Don't hang out too much or you'll be back

to work whether you want to be or not.”

“Fuck.” Abel smiled. “I'll keep that in mind.” The guy laughed and squeezed his shoulder and

moved out into the crowd, his slim hips adopting a nice smooth sway that got the men eyeing his tight
little ass squeezed into his thin, sheer pants. Abel watched him for a moment, then smiled at his clever
teasing tactics.

Max allowed the boys to do mini-dances, off stage, as they mingled through the crowd, racking up

tips as the men paid for direct attention. The only stipulation was that they couldn't wear g-strings—
except underneath their tight pants. They were allowed to unbutton, unzip, flash glimpses of what was
under those pants—but if the customers wanted the pants to come off, they had to pay for the private
lap dance.

No doubt Ricky would be in one of the private booths in no time, the way he was rocking and

rolling that ass in the customers' faces.

Abel winced as he moved through the crowd and occasionally bumped into bodies, causing his

back to jar. He found an empty barstool and grabbed it, sliding onto the padded seat. The bartender
approached and smiled. “Abel. It's good to see you back so soon.”

“Hey, Carl. I'm just here as a spectator.” Abel smiled. “Can I get a club soda?”
“That's it?”
“Taking pain pills.” he shrugged. “No alcohol.”
“I see.” Carl nodded and winked. “Be right back.”
Twisting around slowly, Abel swept the crowd. Cole and Gabe should be here. Them and Max

would get after him for even being here, but he could handle the scolding better than he could handle
being at home alone.

The blaring music was starting to beat inside Abel's skull, causing a low throb in the center of his

forehead. Usually the music didn't bother him—he liked it loud. But today it was having an adverse
effect on him.

When Carl brought him the club soda, he took a drink then glanced around. “Is Cole here—”
“What in the hell are you doing here?” Gabe shoved in between Abel and the guy on the next stool

over. “You were supposed to go straight home after visiting your sister.”

“Sorry, dad.” Abel smiled, but his eyes felt tired, the smile heavy.
“Smart ass.” Gabe muttered, the corner of his lips tugging up a little. “Seriously, what're you

doing here?”

Abel shrugged, then groaned when his back protested. “I didn't figure it would do any harm to just

sit on a barstool for awhile.”

“You need actual rest, Abel.” Gabe said. “Even just sitting up like this puts strain on your back.”

Turning his attention to his drink, Abel sipped from the short glass. His face tightened and Gabe

caught it instantly. He leaned closer. “What's wrong, kid?”

Shaking his head, the glass blurred before him. Everything—Savannah, Devlin, and everything

else that was wrong in his life—pushed down on his shoulders. He swallowed hard and cleared his
throat. “I don't...want to go home alone.” he said thickly. He wiped quick at his eyes before the tears
could break loose.

Gabe rubbed his hand gently up his back. “Come on, why don't you go lay down in the break

room. There's a sofa in there.”

Nodding, Abel took another drink of the club soda then slid off the barstool. Gabe touched his

lower back lightly and guided him towards the back of the club. In the break room, the music and
noise was muffled somewhat. Abel lay down on the sofa and Gabe pulled off his shoes.

“Are you cold?”
“No.” Abel said.
Gabe lowered to his heels by the sofa and brushed the back of his fingers across Abel's cheek.

“Did something happen today?”

Warm tears filled Abel's eyes, and he nodded slowly.
“Want to talk about it?”
“Not right now.” Abel whispered, a lone tear dripping down onto the sofa.
Gabe wiped the dampness from his face then kissed his brow. “Do you want someone to stay with

you again tonight?” he asked softly.

“I do, but...”
“But what?”
“But...you guys shouldn't have to babysit me.”
Gabe ducked his head and chuckled softly. “Abel...you're one of our own. We'll always be there

for you—as often as you need us.”

Reaching up, Abel slid his hand around the back of Gabe's neck and pulled him into a deep kiss,

then whispered, “Thank you.”

Gabe smiled and licked his lips. “Thank you...that was a sweet kiss.”
“You're a sweet man.” Abel gazed at him, then added softly, “You and Cole...you do stuff

together...a lot...don't you?”

Nodding slowly, Gabe pressed his lips tight and smiled. “Yeah, I suppose we do.”
“Do you love him?” Abel wondered. “I don't mean in love, wanna marry him kind of love,

but...just love.”

“Yeah.” Gabe nodded again. “I do. I'd do anything for him.”
Abel stared at him, his throat squeezing with tears. “Do you...love me...like that too?”
Gabe groaned and smiled, running his fingers through Abel's hair and kissing him softly. “I do,

babe. Absolutely. So does Cole.” He continued to slowly comb his fingers through Abel's blond
strands. “Why do you ask?”

His heart pumped harder. Thoughts of Devlin churned inside his mind, reminding him again that

he could never have that one on one relationship he so craved and desired. His body as well as his
heart burned with the need to be loved, touched, caressed—and last night, being held by both Gabe
and Cole, Abel had come the closest he ever had to attaining it. Devlin would never be able to touch
him without Abel feeling the panic, the fear...but Cole and Gabe could.

“I want...” he faltered, his throat tightening more—what if he said no?
“Want what?” Gabe murmured, his blue eyes soft and warm.
Abel traced his fingertips along Gabe's neck. “I want...to be with you like that.”

“Like...” Gabe just looked at him with uncertainty, as if he wasn't sure he was hearing him right.
Abel nodded, then whispered, “With both of you.”

* * * *

“Hey.” Cole leaned in the doorway of the break room, spotting Abel on the sofa. What was he

doing here? “Abel? What's going on? Why aren't you at home?” He stepped inside as Gabe slowly
rose to his feet. Abel's eyes were wet with tears. “Is something wrong? Is it Savannah?”

Gabe walked towards the door and touched his arm. “I need to talk to you.” he said quietly.
Glancing uncertainly at Abel, he asked, “Is something wrong?”
“He's fine.” Gabe said. “He just needs some rest. Come with me.”
Abel tucked his arm under his head and closed his eyes. Cole's brow pinched, sensing something

was off, but went ahead and followed Gabe out of the room. Gabe directed him to one of the dressing
rooms then leaned against the counter in front of the mirror.

“What's going on, Gabe?” Anxiety pinched Cole's chest. “Is Abel okay? Is it his sister?”
“He didn't...mention his sister.” Gabe murmured, his hand covering his mouth as he stared at the

floor.

“Then what?”
Gabe raised his eyes slowly. “Abel...doesn't want to be alone...at home.”
“Okay.” Cole said. “No problem. I don't mind staying with him.”
Sighing, Gabe bit his lips between his teeth. “That isn't all. He...wants to...be with us.”
Cole frowned. “What do you mean?”
“Be with us.” Gabe spoke with emphasis. “The way...we are with each other.”
A funny tickle spiraled through Cole's stomach, and lower. “Uh...what?” he shook his head. “He

said that? He wants...” Cole rubbed his mouth anxiously. “Did he say...why?”

Gabe shook his head. “No...but I think maybe us spending the night last night has something to do

with it. We made him feel safe.”

“So...you think this might be some kind of transference thing?”
“I don't know.” Gabe shrugged. “But...he was serious. So, we have to decide what to do.”
Sinking into a chair, Cole leaned on his knees and raked his fingers slowly through his hair. “I

love the kid.” He raised his eyes. “If this is really what he wants...what he needs...I won't deny him.
Of course...you're free to decide for yourself. If you're not comfortable about it...”

“I love him too.” Gabe said quietly. “I'm not going to feel uncomfortable making love to him. But

maybe we should just go there...with no expectations, you know? Not even mention it until he does.
He might change his mind. But if we bring it up, he may feel obligated because he asked first.”

“Yeah, I get what you're saying.” Cole nodded. “Just let him make the ultimate choice whether or

not he wants to do it.”

“Right.”
Cole sighed, his heart aching for the boy. Though Abel had yet to tell him what was going on with

Savannah, Cole knew it was bad—just by the looks on the faces of the doctors when they had come
into the waiting room. They had that terminal look. Was Savannah really that sick? The poor kid was
going through so much shit it didn't surprise Cole that he wanted such intimate comfort from two of the
people he trusted most.

“Just let him sleep here for now.” Cole stood up. “We'll take him home after work.

Then...whatever happens, happens.”

* * * *

The sounds of the club soothed Abel, like some strange lullaby. The echoes of home. And the

voices of the other boys as they passed by outside the room—like family gathered for the holidays.

Abel vaguely remembered his and Savannah's parents, what life was like at that home. All he

truly remembered was that it hadn't been home. He continued to find it strangely surreal that these gay
strippers felt more like family than his own parents, and the club more of a home than his mother and
father had ever made for him and Savannah.

There was little doubt in his mind that those on the outside, high upon their pedestals, behind their

podiums—viewed places like this as a den of sin, filled with vile, soulless people who knew nothing
of real love or care for another human being.

Maybe they were all sinners. Maybe they would all burn in hell. But they knew about love. Abel

had never seen stronger bonds of love than the bonds between the young men in this club. He had
never experienced love until he'd come here. Hadn't even been sure it truly existed, other than the
love he and Savannah shared.

Let the world judge them if they felt the need. Abel preferred this world to the one out there

anyway. Here he had people who loved him, looked out for him, cared if he lived or died.

Out there...no one gave a fuck.
And no one ever would.

* * * *

Even after a few hours, Devlin still felt the shock of his brief moment with Abel. How had it

gotten so fucked up? He had wanted to bridge the gap between him and the boy—and now it was as
wide as the Grand Canyon. What had gone wrong?

When Abel had rushed out of the coffee shop, he had wanted to run after him, make him stay, beg

the kid to just tell him what he'd done wrong—and he would make it right again.

But his feet had rooted to the floor. There had been no cause to chase after him. Abel wouldn't

have stopped to listen, or explain. He had just wanted away from Devlin.

Entering his house, the emptiness that met him suddenly felt like a vacuum, sucking him in,

stealing the breath from his lungs. For the first time in his life...he felt truly alone.

You don't know what you're missing until it looks you in the eyes—and walks away with your

heart.

Chapter Thirteen

I Wanna Know What Love Is

“Have you eaten since this morning?” Gabe asked when they entered Abel's apartment.
“No.” His nerves were on edge and he didn't think he could eat if he tried. Gabe had told Cole

what he'd said back at the club, he could tell by Cole's unusually quiet and subdued demeanor. The
man seemed to be in deep thought. Was he searching for a way to tell Abel that they wouldn't do what
he asked of them? Neither had mentioned it.

“I'll go grab us some takeout.” Gabe said and cast a quick glance at Cole before rubbing his hand

down the back of Abel's head. “You need to eat. Stress and no food is a bad combo. You'll end up
passing out.”

No protests were made as Gabe left the apartment. Abel sat on the edge of the sofa cushion and

Cole sat down beside him. “How is your back feeling?”

“Better.” Abel murmured. “I think...maybe by tomorrow I can stop taking the pain pills.”
“That's good.” Cole said softly and rubbed his hand gently up and down his back. He loved how

Cole's hands felt on him. As strong as the guy was, Abel knew he would never be afraid of Cole
hurting him. “Do you want to tell me what's going on?”

His lips tightened, Able leaned on his knees and gazed at his hands. “What do you mean?”
Cole touched his chin and turned Abel's face his way. “You know what I mean.”
Standing, Abel walked over by the table, his back to Cole. But he said nothing, emotion gripping

his throat. Cole was standing behind him in a moment, hands on his shoulders. He kissed his hair and
let his lips linger.

“There's nothing I wouldn't do for you, Abel.” he dipped down and kissed Abel's neck softly.

“Nothing, babe.” He slid his strong arms around Abel's neck and hugged him. “But why now? What
brought this on?”

Abel gripped Cole's muscular forearms and pressed his cheek against the man's warm skin.

“I'm...scared.” he bit his lip as his eyes instantly filled.

“Scared of what?” Cole murmured.
Abel gazed blankly at the table, vision blurring. “Everything.” he whispered. His tears spilled

over and he began to cry. “I'm going to...lose Savannah.”

“What're you talking about?” Cole turned him around and gripped his shoulders. “What do you

mean you're going to lose her?”

Abel trembled, his tears an endless well. “They think...she has AIDS.”
“What?” Cole exclaimed. “Are...are they sure?”
Shaking his head slowly, Abel choked on a sob. “Not yet, but...they know she has...HIV.”
“Oh my god.” He pulled Abel into his arms and held him tight. “I'm so sorry, Abel.” Tears

strained Cole's voice, his arms squeezing. His lips pressed against Abel's hair. “Whatever you need,
we'll be here for you, okay? Don't think for one second you have to deal with this alone.”

Abel clung to him, his face shoved against his throat, crying softly. He knew he didn't dare tell

Cole about Kaplan or the man's offer. Cole would tell him they would find some other way to get the
money. There's no way in hell he would let Abel take such an offer. But Savannah was his
responsibility. If he'd only taken better care of her, she wouldn't be in this mess. It was Abel's place

to get the money. Cole, or Gabe, or no one else at the club made enough to pay for her care. And they
shouldn't have to try. Abel was obligated to Savannah, and he would find a way to deal with the
things Kaplan would do to him.

Wiping his face, Abel drew back. “Devlin said I...I should try to have hope.”
“Devlin?”
Abel swallowed thick. “Dr. Grant.” he whispered.
“On first name basis now?” Cole slid his fingers through Abel's hair and smiled softly. “It's

progress.”

“No.” Abel shook his head. “It isn't. I...yelled at him.”
Cole frowned. “Why?”
“I got angry when he told me to have hope, to...keep faith.” Abel's face pinched and fresh tears

arose. “When I tried to leave, he...grabbed my arm. I panicked and...yelled at him...told him to never
touch me.”

“Hey.” Cole tugged him back into his arms. “You've been through hell, babe. It's understandable

that you're going to have issues.”

Abel shuddered against Cole's warm body. “I can't handle...being touched. I panic.”
“You don't with us.”
“That's different.” Abel whispered. “I feel safe at the club. I know that...the touching is controlled.

And you and Gabe...you're part of that world. I know I can trust you. But...”

Cole sighed. “But Dr. Grant...Devlin...isn't.”
“I started to...have a panic attack the first time he examined my back.” Abel trembled, then hugged

Cole tight and sobbed. “I like him, Cole. I like him so much. But...I can't...” He cried quietly. “I can't
handle him touching me.”

“Shhh.” Cole kissed his hair again and rubbed his back soothingly. “It'll be okay, baby.”
His cheek pressed against Cole's shoulder, Abel whispered, “I've never...been with someone who

wasn't...hurting me.” His arms tightened around the man. “I don't know how it feels...to make love to
someone.”

Cole drew back and cupped his face, then kissed him deep and warm, with more passion than was

usually present in their kisses. He slid his thumbs over his damp, fevered cheeks. “Then it's time you
learned.” he whispered and touched his forehead to Abel's brow. “When Gabe gets back, we'll relax
and eat, then...when you're ready...just let us know.” he kissed him softly. “And if you change your
mind...it's okay. No one is expecting anything of you...you're in total control of whether or not it
happens, okay?”

Nodding slowly, Abel met his eyes and whispered, “I won't change my mind.”

* * * *

“You like him, don't you?”
The girl's question felt more like a statement—and caught Devlin odd guard. “Excuse me?” He

met Savannah's big green eyes, his heart aching each time he looked into her lovely face, knowing the
merciless enemy that resided inside.

“Abel.” she said quietly. “You like him...I can tell.”
Devlin's pulse quickened, his chest tightening at the recollection of their last encounter. Don't

fucking touch me! Why had the boy panicked? He smiled at the young girl. “Of course I like him. He
seems like a very nice young man.” his smile widened a bit. “And he cares about you very much.”

Savannah just stared at him as he wrapped the blood pressure cuff around her arm. He didn't think

he was fooling her by being casual about his like of the young man.

“No.” Her lips were soft with the shadow of a smile. “I mean like, like.”
“Well,” Devlin lifted an eyebrow. “That wouldn't be very professional...now would it?”
A slow smile spread across Savannah's face. “You really do, don't you?” She seemed

exceedingly pleased.

“I think,” his lips twitched, and he winked. “that it's just a young girl's romantic imaginings

running overtime.”

Savannah gazed at him. “He likes you too.” she said softly.
Who would have thought that four tiny little words spoke by a sixteen year old girl could knock

the wind out of him? He struggled to control his breathing as his heart kicked and punched against his
ribs. “I'm sure you're mistaken.”

“No. I'm not.” She seemed quite sure of herself. “I see the way he looks at you.”
Devlin chuckled then cleared his throat, not really sure how to respond. God yes, he wanted to

believe her. But...that morning at the coffee shop...his hopes of getting close to the boy were doused.

I don't know what the fuck 'good' is. Abel's words sifted through his head. What kind of hell had

these kids been through?

“I, uh...” Devlin pressed his lips tight and smiled, his words escaping him.
Savannah's lips curved in a soft smile. “I'm embarrassing you, ain't I?”
“No, I...” Devlin looked at her, then chuckled softly. “I guess...I just don't know what to say. I

don't think...Abel likes me quite the way you think he does.” His throat tightened a little as he added
more quietly, “I'm not sure he likes me at all anymore.”

“Why?” she asked, frowning. “Did...something happen?”
He started to speak, to just pour out everything that had happened at the coffee shop—or most of

it, minus the details of her condition—when he stopped himself abruptly. What was he doing?
Admitting to a sixteen-year-old girl that he was personally interested in her nineteen-year-old brother,
one of his patients. Could he get any more unprofessional?

“Uh...” he shook his head and released a slow breath, his heart racing wildly, painfully at the

recollection of their falling out. “We just...had a disagreement...I guess is what it was.” he shrugged,
avoiding her gaze. The pain was evident in his eyes, even he could feel it resonating out. “I said some
things that upset him.” and then I touched him.

“What did you say?”
How could he relay what he'd said without letting on about her condition? Dr. Jacobs was waiting

for the test results before having Abel come in so they could talk to Savannah together. Now wasn't
the time for her find out about her dire condition.

Guilt needled him. Here he was, upset over a tiff with Abel when a young girl's life hung in the

balance. If you could only see me now, Craig, wouldn't you be proud of your little brother? Craig
had always put the kids first, over his own wants and desires.

“It...doesn't matter now.” he said quietly, then smiled. “You should get some rest.”
Savannah rolled her eyes. “Rest is all I'm getting. I'm so bored.” she looked at him with more

intensity than a sixteen-year-old should possess. “Tell me what you said that made him upset.”

How had he gotten trapped in this conversation? He shrugged. “I just...made a reference to

God...and faith.”

“Oh.” the young girl sank back against her pillow, her face suddenly solemn.
“What?”

“Abel...doesn't believe in God.” she said quietly, a soft ache in her voice. “I mean, he believes he

exists, but...he doesn't believe in him.”

Yeah, Devlin had picked up on that right quick. “Why doesn't he?” he asked slowly, cautiously,

hoping the girl could shed some light on what was going on in Abel's mind—and maybe give him
some kind of a clue how to fix things with the boy.

Biting her lower lip, a sudden sheen of tears glossed her eyes. “I...can't talk about it.” she

whispered thick, her eyes down, resting on her hands as she picked at the blanket. “Abel don't want
me telling anyone. But...” she swallowed thickly then sniffed and quickly wiped away a rogue tear.
“It's why he don't like God. Says God don't care, that if he did...he wouldn't have let...” The gloss in
her eyes thickened and she sucked her lips between her teeth then squeezed her eyes shut, tears
pushing out. Her hands covered her face and she began to cry. “It was my fault. He got hurt because of
me.”

“Hey.” Devlin went to her and sat on the edge of the bed, wrapping his arm around her shoulder.

“Don't cry, sweetheart.” Her thin arms went around him and held on as tight as she could. Did Abel
even know she blamed herself for...whatever had happened to him? How long had she been holding it
in? He stroked her hair then touched his lips to her head as she cried against him. “What happened to
your brother, Savannah?” he whispered, the tightness in his gut warning him he didn't want to know.

“He was...protecting me...from the man.” she whispered, her shaky voice muffled in his shirt. Her

hands clutched fistfuls of his shirt and she cried harder. “He...did things to Abel.”

Nausea welled up fast and he wanted to puke. “What...things?” he asked numbly, sick at how she

might answer.

“Bad things.” she shuddered. “Really bad things.”
He didn't ask for anymore clarification. Didn't need it. Sure as fuck didn't want it. He released a

shaky breath then untangled the girl and laid her back against the pillows, then grabbed a tissue and
wiped her face. “You can't blame yourself, honey.” he murmured, his throat tight, eyes burning. “Bad
people do bad things...and it's their fault, no one else's. Don't ever blame yourself, sweetheart.”
Standing up, he leaned down and kissed her brow. “Your brother was very brave to protect you.”

Savannah looked at him, her green eyes uncertain. “Please don't tell Abel that I told you. He

would be really mad. He doesn't want people to know. I think...” her chin trembled. “I think he feels
embarrassed and...ashamed.”

“I won't tell him.” Devlin assured softly. “But he shouldn't feel that way. He didn't do anything

wrong.”

“I know.” she whispered.
Devlin was barely keeping it together as horrifying images exploded through his head. “Just get

some rest. I know you feel all rested out but your body still needs it.” He swallowed tight, struggling
not to choke on the hard lump in his throat. “I'll come back by later before my shift ends, see if you
need anything. Okay?”

She nodded.
“Rest.” he said again and turned away, needing to be alone for a moment before he fell apart in

front of the girl.

“Dr. Grant?”
“Yeah?” his hands were starting to shake. He stuffed them in the deep pockets of his white

overcoat and faced her again.

She hesitated then said quietly, “Abel...is a good boy. But he doesn't trust most people.” she gazed

at him with that intense look once more. “He doesn't think...anyone cares.”

Devlin's chest tightened, his heart crushing beneath the pressure.
“He does like you, Dr. Grant.” Sadness shadowed her green eyes. “He's just...too scared to show

it.”

When Devlin stepped out of the girl's room, his hand slipped up over his eyes, his lips tightening,

heart coming apart. What the fuck was wrong with these sick motherfuckers?! How could someone
do that to a kid? And hurt such a beautiful, perfect boy like Abel?

Tears pushed out beneath his lashes. Don't fucking touch me! Don't ever...touch me.
It made sense now...the panic...when he'd grabbed Abel's arm...I'm sorry, baby, I didn't mean to

scare you. I would never hurt you. Please forgive me.

* * * *

Gabe brought back a variety of edibles from the Italian restaurant a few blocks down. He'd left

the DVD’s from the night before and put in another movie as the three sat on the sofa and ate their late
dinner and watched TV.

Sitting between the two men, Abel picked at a calzone, consuming small bites and trying to force

his stomach to accept the food. He leaned back against the sofa, the warmth of both Cole's and Gabe's
bodies on either side of him warming his skin. Occasionally, one of them would run their fingers
through his hair, or drop a kiss on his head. Neither tried to touch him...provocatively...or instigate
anything sexual. Cole had meant it when he'd said Abel was in full control—and nothing would
happen until he said so.

“You know.” Gabe said. “You actually have to eat the food to get any benefit from it.” He nudged

Abel's shoulder lightly, playfully. “Huh?”

Abel smiled and nodded. “I know.” His stomach wasn't being cooperative. All his nerves seemed

to be conglomerating there in the center, wrestling and combating one another. He'd never felt any
fear or even nervousness whenever Gabe or Cole had touched him before—but nothing had ever
really become sexual. The most they had ever truly shared were deep kisses, and even then they had
seemed to be more affectionate than passionate. What if his panic kicked in when they touched him in
a sexual manner? What if he could never make love to anyone...ever?

An ache squeezed his chest and stung his eyes. He scooted forward to the edge of the sofa cushion

and set the calzone on the small coffee table. Leaning on his knees, his fingers slid slowly through his
hair.

“Abel?” Cole touched his back, rubbing gently. “You okay?”
He rubbed his mouth and nodded, then whispered, “I'm ready.” He wasn't sure he was ready, or if

he ever would be—but he would never know until he tried. Desperately nervous, he stood without
making eye contact with either man, and walked into the bedroom.

Devlin's face rose behind his eyes as he sat on the edge of the bed. How would it feel to be

getting ready to make love to him? He wished he could believe that one day there would be an answer
to that question, but there wouldn't be. Whether or not he could make love to Cole and Gabe remained
to be seen. But he already knew how Devlin's touch affected him.

* * * *

“Do you think he really wants to do this?” Gabe asked quietly, casting a quick glance towards the

bedroom.

Cole sat forward and sighed, then nodded. “Yeah. I think he does.” He looked at Gabe. “He told

me he doesn't know how it feels to make love to someone. I don't think he's been with anyone
since...what happened to him.”

Sliding forward on the cushion, Gabe frowned. “So that...motherfucker...is the only one who's

ever...touched him sexually?”

“I think so.” Cole swallowed tight and shook his head, glancing towards the bedroom doorway.

“The poor kid has no sense of how it feels to be...intimately loved.”

Gabe stood up slowly, an ache in his eyes as he looked again at the bedroom. “Tonight he will.”

Chapter Fourteen

Friends & Lovers

Abel didn't look up when Cole and Gabe entered. Gabe walked around to the opposite side of the

bed and lounged on top of the blankets. Sitting down beside him, Cole touched his lower back. “How
is your back feeling?” he asked quietly, concerned. “Are you sure you want to do this now? We can
wait a couple days.”

“It doesn't hurt as much as before.” Abel whispered.
Cole rubbed small circles at the small of his back. “We don't have to rush into anything.” he

murmured. “We have all night...we can take our time.”

Pressing his lips tight, Abel asked thickly, “What if...I freak out?”
“If you start to feel scared, panicked, or uncomfortable in any way,” he told him. “Don't be afraid

to tell us. You can stop this at any time and just walk away. You're the one in control, Abel—from
start to finish.” He kissed his face. “Okay, babe?”

Abel looked at him. “Okay.”
Smiling, Cole pulled his head close and kissed his temple, then stood up. “Why don't you just

scoot up here on the bed between us and...relax.” He winked. “Even if we are strippers...we can
leave our clothes on for now. A foreign concept for us, but hey...we can adapt.”

Abel laughed softly as Gabe chuckled. He kicked off his shoes and slid up next to Gabe as Cole

stretched out on the other side of him. The three of them lay on their backs and stared at the ceiling.

“You know.” Gabe murmured, smiling. “If you look long enough...all the little specks on the

ceiling start forming shapes.” He twisted his head and looked at Abel. “You ever notice that before?”

“No.” Abel admitted as the man's soft blue eyes drank him in.
“You're full of shit.” Cole muttered, then chuckled. “There ain't no fucking shapes.”
“You're just getting old.” Gabe mused. “Your eyesight is failing.”
Cole chuckled again and mumbled, “Fuck you.”
Laughing softly, Gabe slid his head closer to Abel and touched brows. “I bet you see them too.”

he murmured. “You're just saying you don't to be nice to the old feller.” Abel laughed softly, eyes
locked with Gabe's—then Gabe's lips were touching his, kissing warmly, slowly deepening. His
pulse quickened as the passion seeped in. Gabe turned slowly onto his side and cupped the curve of
Abel's jaw with his hand and gently probed at Abel's mouth with his tongue, letting Abel decide if he
wanted to allow him in.

A soft moan simmered in Abel's throat and he parted his lips, taking Gabe in. Cole's warm lips

touched the back of neck, then his ear. “Come on, now.” he whispered. “Share the love, no playing
favorites.” He smiled when Abel twisted his head. “Unless it's with me...then it's okay.” He winked
and kissed him with as much passion and depth as Gabe.

“Like hell.” Gabe chuckled low and kissed Abel's shoulder then his neck, sucking gently.
An unsteady—Mmmm—rolled up his throat and into Cole's mouth when Gabe's teeth tugged

lightly at his skin. Both men's hands began to lightly caress his upper body, staying away from his
lower regions for the time being.

Cole broke their kiss and panted quietly, “How you doing? You okay?”
Abel's gazed at him with heavy eyes. “Mm-hmm.” then trembled when Gabe sucked hard at his

throat. Cole smiled and moved down the other side of his neck, his teeth raking along the tendon,
biting gently.

“Uhh.” Abel moaned louder, his head tilting back, exposing more of his throat. Both men pressed

their bodies against him without force, but there was no mistaking the hardness of their crotches. His
own throbbed fiercely, his erection straining against his pants.

His teeth nipping Abel's earlobe, Gabe's voice rasped when he asked, “Can we take off your

shirt?” Abel could barely breathe from the intense pounding of his heart, and simply nodded, moaning
his compliance. Both men slipped their hands under the hem of his shirt and slowly pushed it up over
his chest then gently peeled it off over his head. A soft, startled cry burst from him when both his
nipples were suddenly engulfed by hot mouths sucking, slick tongues teasing.

“Fuck.” he gasped, then moaned tightly, his fingers slipping into both men's hair. His lips pressed

tight. “Mmp!”

Cole smiled and kissed his stiff nipple. “Like that, baby?” he murmured, sliding his tongue around

the hard bud.

“Uh huh.” Abel shuddered, eyes closed. Cole's hand slowly caressed down over his stomach and

Abel trembled when his mouth followed, strong lips grabbing at his lean muscles, wet tongue dipping
into his naval. “Shit.”

Gabe drew back and peeled off his shirt, and Abel's hand went instantly to his bare skin, rubbing

up his thick chest and around his neck, pulling him back into a hungry kiss. Groaning, Gabe delved
into the kiss, the desire and want in the man undeniable. When he slowly pulled back, he reached over
and tugged Cole's shirt up over his head, then kissed the man before returning his full attention to
Abel.

“Are you ready to move forward?” Cole asked softly as he kissed Abel's lips. “If not, it's

okay...we're in no rush.” he smiled and nibbled Abel's lower lip. “We enjoy taking our time.”

His pulse surging—and crotch throbbing and aching—Abel shuddered. “I'm...ready.”
Nodding slowly, Cole brushed his lips across Abel's ear as his hand tentatively moved down

between the boy's legs. “Just relax, baby.” he whispered. “We'll take good care of you. You know we
love you, right?”

Abel bit his lip, eyes stinging, and nodded. His pulse went static when Cole's strong hand began

to massage his hardened flesh through his pants. Gabe's hand joined Cole's as they rubbed alternately,
back and forth. “Fuck.” Abel choked softly, eyes squeezing shut. His hips lifted a fraction to their
touch.

His eyes remained closed, chest hitching with erratic breath, as skilled fingers unfastened his

pants then slowly pulled them down, leaving his briefs in place. Gabe stepped off the bed and tugged
Abel's pants down off his feet. Then Cole left the bed as well, and Abel lay alone, body trembling,
aching, craving the return of their touch, their kisses. He listened to them remove their own pants, then
the bed depressed on both sides of him again as they came back to him, warm hands rubbing up his
legs, soft lips on his thighs, kisses dropping along his inner thighs as his legs were gently opened.

Lips touched his hard member through his briefs and he flinched hard, a short gasp escaping,

hands clawing the blankets. The warm mouth moved all over his crotch, tongue teasing his cock
through his shorts, then—strong sucking.

“Fu-uck!” he choked hard, gouging the blankets. Gabe's lips were on his again, telling him it was

Cole giving the attention to his crotch. He grabbed onto Gabe in near desperation, his body beginning
to burn out of control, kissing him with urgency, starving for all they had to offer.

Gabe groaned deep, his tongue intertwining with Abel's, his arms slipping around the boy as his

body pressed close, his hunger for Abel pushing against his hip through the man's briefs. Their kiss
broke with a hard gasp from them both. Gabe kissed and licked his way back down to Cole as,
together, they slowly stripped Abel's shorts off. His body jerked when a strong hand wrapped around
his stiff cock and stroked gently. “God.” he whimpered tight, then cried out sharply when both men
began to kiss and lick up and down the shaft.

A velvet soft tongue dragged across his wet cock head and he nearly fainted. “Mmm, baby.” Gabe

murmured. “You taste heavenly.”

Cole's mouth moved up to the tip as both of them sucked at his sensitive flesh, kissing one another.

Abel finally opened his eyes. They felt heavy, wet, his vision blurred as the men's mouths incited pure
ecstasy in him.

“Oh Fuck!” he yelled when he was suddenly engulfed in Cole's mouth, head spinning as the man

sucked him firmly, stroking slowly, pushing his mouth all the way down on him, taking in every inch
of Abel's ample cock. “Holy fuck! Oh god...oh my god!”

When Cole finally pulled off him, he barely had time to catch his breath before Gabe took his turn,

his tight, hot mouth stroking Abel's dick a little faster, shoving him to the edge. Just when he was sure
he couldn't take anymore without losing his mind, Gabe released him then backed off the bed again.
Abel watched with hazy eyes as the man removed his shorts. Cole followed suit then leaned down
and kissed Abel on the mouth. “Turn over.” he murmured. “I promise...we're not going to hurt you.”

Abel shifted slowly, his back protesting some, but his body too sexually heightened to focus on

the discomfort. He laid on his stomach, pulling the pillow under his head as he'd done last night when
the men had rubbed his back. His breath shuddered up his throat and he closed his eyes again as
tender hands rubbed over his firm ass cheeks.

When he tensed, Cole kissed the small of his back. “Just relax, baby.” he whispered. “And trust

us.”

Abel released a shaky breath and nodded. Gentle fingers spread him open as more kisses were

laid against the inner crease of his butt cheeks. Abel bit the pillow when the tip of a slick tongue
nudged at his tight entrance, rimming. He moaned and shuddered again. As the one lover continued to
probe and tease him, the other slowly dragged their tongue up the center of his back then kissed the
nape of his neck. “Are you feeling okay with all this?” Cole whispered against his shoulder.

Swallowing thick, Abel nodded.
Cole smiled and kissed his heated skin. “Maybe even...better than okay?”
“Yes.” Abel's whole body quivered as Gabe pushed the tip of his tongue through his tight ring.
“That's good.” Cole murmured and kissed the back of his head. “Just enjoy...tonight is all about

you, baby.” he laughed softly and kissed Abel's neck. “Not that we're not enjoying it immensely as
well, but...our enjoyment is incidental.”

Abel smiled. “Not to me it isn't.” he whispered. The fact that they were taking as much pleasure in

it as he was made it so much better.

“You're too sweet.” Cole grinned and rubbed his hands along Abel's back. “Your back isn't

hurting too much, is it?”

“No...it's okay.”
“All right.” Cole said softly. “Just let us know if that changes.”
Abel nodded again and pressed his face into the pillow as Cole moved back down his body to

where Gabe was giving him glimpses of a heavenly paradise he knew nothing about.

* * * *

Cole's tongue slithered against Gabe's as they both played at Abel's entrance. Gabe shifted and

touched his lips to Cole's ear, whispering, barely audible, “He's really tight...I don't want to hurt
him.”

The total care that Gabe showed for Abel warmed Cole's heart. “We won't.” he murmured. “As

long as we prepare him.” He slid his index finger into Gabe's mouth and the man sucked it, slicking it
with saliva. Cole smiled, let some spit fall into the crease of Abel's ass, smeared it with his wet
finger then slowly inserted the digit inside the boy's tight hole.

Abel sucked in a sharp breath but didn't resist or try to pull away. Cole carefully worked his

finger around, pushing in a little deeper, finding that special button inside and massaging it.

“Uuh!” Abel whimpered loud then choked on a cry, clutching the pillow. The boy felt so warm

and soft inside. Cole's own cock jumped and throbbed, leaking droplets of cum juice, aching to enter
Abel but knowing this couldn't be rushed. He let more spittle drop onto his middle finger then
carefully worked it in with the other, and finally managing three.

Abel's body began to move against his fingers as the boy moaned softly. Gabe gently massaged the

boy's tightening balls. When Abel began to thrust a little harder against Cole's fingers, his moans
turning to small cries, Cole leaned over and kissed Gabe. “Now he's ready.” he kissed him again.
“Do you want to do the honors?”

He nodded, and Cole withdrew his fingers and moved up alongside Abel, kissing his face. Abel

opened his eyes. “I want you to relax, baby.” he said softly. “Gabe loves you and he will be gentle.”

Gabe leaned up over Abel's trembling body and kissed his shoulder. “Any time you want me to

stop, just say so.” he whispered. “It's okay.”

Abel nodded, a glint of uncertainty in his lovely eyes. Cole kissed his lips then stroked his fingers

through his hair, holding his gaze as Gabe coated his hard member with spit then slowly began to push
inside the boy's tight body.

Chapter Fifteen

The Feeling Of Being Loved

It was the initial pain that brought on the memory flash and Abel cried out, grasping Cole's hand,

clutching. Tears welled up and his chest tightened as Gabe's hardness slowly shoved deeper inside
him.

“Easy, baby.” Cole soothed. “It's just us...you don't have to be scared.”
Abel's short nails gouged Cole's skin, his body shaking. “Cole...”
Cole touched his forehead to Abel's brow, whispering soft assurances that he was safe with them.

Gabe paused and rubbed his hands up Abel's back, kissing him softly. “Do you want me to stop?”

Tears blurred Cole's face before him. He wasn't in danger. No one here was going to hurt him

or abuse him. “No.” he choked.

Gabe pushed in deeper, pulling the air from his lungs. When he was pressed up snug against

Abel's ass, he kissed his shoulder and slowly moved his hips in small circles, helping Abel's inner
muscles to relax and get comfortable with Gabe's length and thickness.

A tight—mmm—stuttered up Abel's throat as the man's cock began to massage his sweet spot,

causing his own member to swell and harden.

“Starting to feel good?” Cole murmured, smiling softly.
Abel's face tightened, his breath pushing up his throat. “Mm-Hmm.” he whimpered.
Cole rubbed his hand over the top of Abel's head and kissed him. “Good.” he whispered, then

smiled again. “I'll tell you a little secret...Gabe is one hell of a lover...he'll take you to heaven every
time.”

After spending his life in hell...Abel liked the thought of taking a trip to heaven. Gabe's warm

chest, slightly damp with sweat, touched his back as the man slid his arms underneath him, hugging
Abel against him as he began to thrust gently into him. His warm breath puffed against Abel's hair.
“So...” Gabe panted. “This is what it feels like to make love to an angel.” he smiled against the back
of Abel's neck, his strong body moving so smoothly, rhythmically. “Baby...you feel amazing.”

Abel couldn't speak, his throat closing with both emotion and ecstasy. Cole kissed him with

swelling passion and hunger.

“Oh my god.” Gabe gasped. His head pressed against Abel's back between his shoulder blades as

he pushed himself into the boy a little harder. “Fuck, Abel...”

His body moved with a will of its own, his ass falling into rhythm with Gabe's thrusts. “Fuck.” he

moaned tight, strained. His face shoved into the pillow hard as a loud groan burst out of him. “Fuck
me, Gabe...”

Gabe's arms tightened around him and he thrust at him harder.
Grabbing his mouth in another hot kiss, Cole's breath puffed erratically against Abel's lips.

“Okay, you two.” Cole panted. “Time to share some of the love.”

Groaning, chuckling low, Gabe slowed then backed off. Abel shuddered as the man's hard cock

pulled out of him.

Cole repositioned them, sitting up against the wall, the pillows tucked behind his back. “Come

here, babe.” He gripped Abel's hips and turned him around, facing away from Cole, had Abel
straddle him then sit down on his raging erection. He was somewhat bigger than Gabe, and Abel

sucked in a sharp breath as the man's very thick, long cock slowly pushed up inside him. He clutched
Cole's hands and bit his lip hard, a long, whimpering—“Uuuuhh!”—erupting forth. Then Cole's arms
were around him, hugging him back against his hard chest. “You okay?” His voice shook with
unsteady breath.

Swallowing hard, Abel nodded, though he was still trying to catch his breath from the man's

immense size. Cole hugged him around the stomach and slowly circled his cock inside him, loosening
him up a bit more. “Oh god.” Abel whimpered and gripped Cole's arms. He squeezed his eyes shut as
he began to rock against the man. A sudden, loud cry burst up his throat when Gabe took Abel's cock
in his mouth and began to suck him, stroking in rhythm with Cole's thrusts. “Fuck.” Abel cried. Cole's
arms loosened and one hand dropped, cupping the back of Gabe's head.

“Yes.” Cole groaned thick. “Suck him, baby. Let him feel how much you love him.”
Abel's head dropped back against Cole's shoulder, a flurry of whimpering cries leaping from his

lips. Cole rubbed up his chest then kissed his neck, sucking his hot, damp skin. “Ah fuck, Abel.” he
shudder, fucking him so smoothly. “My god, baby, I thinks it's you who's taking us to heaven.”

Sucking up off his cock, Gabe rose up to his knees. “I need in on this too.” he panted and leaned

in, kissing Abel's mouth, then shifting to Cole. “Damn, you both kiss so fucking good...glad I don't
have to choose which one to kiss.” Abel smiled, and rubbed his hands over Gabe's chest. The man
grinned and leaned in close, brushing his lips across Abel's mouth. “Mind if I take a ride, too?”

Abel shook his head slowly and then kissed him hard as Gabe straddled both him and Cole,

guiding Abel's cock between his firm ass cheeks. Abel nearly screamed when Gabe's tight heat
encased him, squeezing his hardness, pulling him deeper and deeper. Gabe gasped sharp and pushed
down. “Fuck! Yes! God, baby—you have a beautiful cock.” His breath staggered. “Feels so...fucking
good. Fuck!”

Tears filled Abel's eyes and slid down his face as Gabe's hot body pressed against him, pushing

him against Cole. The sensation of being so completely one with them both at the same time swelled
his heart with more love and emotion than he had ever experienced. His arms wrapped around Gabe's
neck and he kissed him with a level of desperation as the man moved against him, rode him with a
gentle rhythm that fell in line with his and Cole's.

“Ahhh Fuuuck!” Cole choked out on a staggered laugh. “Fuck yes...”
Gabe rolled and rocked his ass on Abel's cock as Cole rocked his hips just as perfectly, thrusting

his cock deep inside Abel, working his magic button. Gabe's tight cave gliding up and down his
throbbing shaft only enhanced the already intense sensations Cole was inciting. “Fuck...” Abel
whimpered, his head dropping back on Cole's shoulder again as his body moved with more urgency,
riding Cole harder as he shoved himself into Gabe with pure need. His fingers gouged Gabe's back as
he clung to the man, fucking and being fucked like never in his life. “Oh god! Shit! Uuhh!!”

“That's it, baby.” Cole panted hard. “Just let go...don't fight it...just enjoy the ecstasy, baby.” Cole

reached around him and grabbed Gabe's cock in his fist and began pumping him hard and fast. “We'll
enjoy it with you.”

“Fuck!” Gabe yelled as Cole jerked him off, urging him to ride Abel harder. “Holy fuck! I'm

gonna cum!”

“Oh fuck, me too.” Cole groaned tight, his other arm squeezing around Abel's body fiercely as he

beat off Gabe. His hot breath puffed hard against Abel's ear. “Cum with us, baby...I don't want to
unload without you...come on, baby...give it up...”

Abel screamed as both Cole and Gabe fucked him harder, both men grabbing portions of his neck

and sucking his sweat slick skin. His body jerked and he screamed again, unloading inside Gabe.

“Fuck!! Uuuhhh!!!”

“Yes! Fuuuck!”Gabe's head thrust back and he came hard, tendrils of creamy cum bursting from

his cock and splattering both his and Abel's stomachs. Cole pumped him harder as his teeth grabbed
Abel shoulder and he shouted, shoving himself deep into Abel and letting loose with force.

“Holy Fuck!” He screamed, working his hips, emptying himself completely. Both him and Gabe

continued to move against Abel slowly, breathing erratic. Cole finally sagged back against the wall
with Abel laying on his chest and Gabe resting against Abel, all three just trying to breathe. Cole
kissed Abel's ear as he ran his fingers through Gabe's hair. “So tell me, baby.” he murmured. “How
does it feel to make love?”

Abel grinned, eyes heavy as sleep was already reaching for him. “Fucking...fantastic.” he

whispered, tired, weak...but at the same time feeling as if he truly had angels' wings that could carry
him to heaven.

Cole smiled and kissed his neck softly. “I'm glad, baby. You deserve to know how amazing it can

be.”

Gabe kissed him warmly. “One day, baby,” he murmured, smiling. “You will know how it feels to

make love to your beautiful doctor.”

Closing his eyes, warm tears seeping out, Abel didn't respond. He didn't want to think about

Devlin right now. He loved Gabe's words...but didn't believe them. And it hurt too much to think
about that. He just wanted to fall asleep, right here with these two men, the sweet ecstasy of their love
still coursing through his body and heart.

Just let me enjoy being loved for a night...before I have to look cold reality in the face again.

* * * *

“That was amazing.” Gabe said quietly, gazing over Abel's sleeping form. He tucked his arm

beneath his head and stared into Cole's eyes. “The way you kept him calm, soothed, feeling...safe.”

Cole gently rubbed Abel's back beneath the blankets. Once the sweat coating their skin began to

chill, they had all crawled under the covers and, in moments, Abel had fallen asleep. It wasn't
surprising—not to mention his recent exertion, the boy was dealing with so much stress that Cole was
sure his body was just looking for an excuse to crash. And tonight he and Gabe gave it one.

“You did your part too.” Cole pointed out. “You have a very... gentle...touch, when the situation

calls for it.” He smiled. His and Gabe's sessions weren't always so gentle.

Gabe shrugged and let his eyes drift over Abel's face then softly combed his fingers through the

boy's hair. “But you have a special way with him...that no one else has. And it's...” he shrugged again
and smiled. “It's beautiful.” His gaze shifted to Cole's face, brow pinching a little. “What?”

Why tears were trying to push at his eyes, he didn't know. Maybe it was the tenderness they had

shared with Abel...having a real chance to teach the kid how it felt to be loved. There were plenty of
those out in the world who would scoff at them calling what they did with Abel—Love...but fuck 'em.
Looking at Gabe now...he could still see the man's love for Abel floating behind his baby blues.
There seemed to be a little more back there as well, but he seemed careful to keep it in the shadows,
hidden.

“Nothing.” Cole leaned down and kissed Abel's warm head, his hair damp from their love-

making. Gabe untucked his arm and reached across the pillow above Abel's head and twisted his
fingertips in Cole's blond strands, now darkened a bit from sweat. “You're not getting sappy on me,
now are you?” Cole smiled.

Gabe shrugged. “Would a little sap be so terrible?” He pushed his fingers deeper into Cole's hair.

“Could make things more interesting...maybe take things to a...new level.”

A new level? He stared at the man, unsure if he was serious or just fucking with him. Before he

could decide which he preferred it to be, Gabe withdrew his hand and turned onto his back, chuckling
low. “Fuck, man. Don't pay me any mind. The kid's got my head full of fuzzy bunnies, rainbows and
unicorns.”

Cole laughed and shook his head, then lay on his back and stared at the ceiling. “Yeah, me too.”

he murmured. They both stared at the ceiling. Cole smiled, “I think I do see shapes.”

Gabe chuckled. “Fuck.”

Chapter Sixteen

One More Try

When Abel stretched and touched bodies on both sides of him, he was somewhat surprised to find

the two men still in bed with him, with the morning light pushing through the window.

Gabe was on his stomach, face buried in the pillow, out cold. But when he turned towards Cole,

the man rolled onto his side and propped up on one elbow. He brushed the back of his fingers down
Abel's cheek. “Sleep well, honey.” Cole teased lightly.

Laughing softly, Abel hugged the pillow against his cheek. “I did.” he whispered. “Better than I

have in a long time...maybe ever.”

“So...no bad dreams last night?” Cole asked sincerely.
“No.” Abel smiled. “Only good ones.”
“Good.” Cole kissed him. “That's what I like to hear.” He lay down against the pillow and Abel

rubbed his fingertips across the man's chest. Cole intertwined his fingers with Abel's then kissed
them. “You were amazing last night.” Cole said softly. “You're a wonderful lover.”

Abel smiled and bit his lip. “So are you.” his smile widened. “And Gabe.”
“Just don't tell him that.” Cole whispered in a conspiratorial low voice. “He already knows he's a

love god...if his ego gets any bigger, his head will explode.”

Abel laughed.
“I heard that.” Gabe mumbled, voice muffled by the pillow.
“Heard what?” Cole winked at Abel. “We didn't say anything.”
Gabe slowly twisted onto his side. “Yeah, sure.” He kissed Abel's shoulder. “He telling stories

about me?”

“Umm...” Abel looked thoughtful then squealed when Cole tickled him.
“Don't be snitching on me, boy.” Cole grinned.
“Okay, okay!” Abel laughed and Cole ceased his assault. He cleared his throat and pressed his

back against Gabe's chest as the man's arm cured around him. He looked at Cole. “I feel better.” he
said quietly.

“Better how?” Cole murmured.
He shrugged and his throat knotted a little. “I don't know. I just feel...different. Not as...” Tears

stung his eyes. “...broken.”

Gabe kissed the nape of his neck. “A little love goes a long way, baby.”
Brushing his cheek with his fingertips, Cole kissed him. “You're not broken, Abel.” he whispered.

“Just bruised...you will heal.” he kissed his brow and smiled. “And probably leave us to marry your
snazzy doctor and live high on the hog in your ivory tower, while we're left behind to dance our asses
off in the gutter.”

Abel laughed and shoved at his chest. “Whatever. I'm not gonna marry...” his smile faltered and

dropped his eyes. “Him.”

“I want to meet this handsome doctor you guys keep talking about.” Gabe said. “Judge for myself

is he's good enough for our boy here.”

“Would you guys stop.” Abel smiled but it felt weighted. “Even if I felt comfortable being...with

him...” he swallowed tight and shook his head. “Once he found what I did to make money...he

wouldn't even want to know me.”

Gabe hugged him. “What's wrong with being a stripper?” he murmured against his ear. “A lot of

people find that sexy as hell. He might see that as a perk.”

“I doubt it.” Abel sat forward and drew up his knees beneath the blankets, shoving his hands

through his hair. “And it's mute anyway because...I can't be with him...like I was with you guys last
night.” He crawled out of bed. “It'll never happen.”

* * * *

Devlin changed his shift schedule, rearranged his rounds—all in hopes of having a better chance

of encountering Abel. Not that he had any clue what to say to the kid once he was face to face with
him again. But he'd cross that bridge when he came to it.

These are the actions of a desperate man, you do know that, right? Some might even call it

unhealthy.

But he didn't care. Abel so completely consumed him, and after the things Savannah had told

him...his heart was still in a mess, his mind screaming at the reality of what both Savannah and Abel
had went through. And God only knew how much more there was to it.

He needed to show Abel that he could trust him. How to do that? He hadn't a fucking clue.

Especially since every time they talked, all he seemed to do was give him more bad news about his
sister. But he had to find a way to get the boy to let him in. Anymore, the mere thought of Abel made it
hard for him to breathe. Awake or asleep, he dreamed about the boy. Just this morning he awoke with
the feel of Abel in his arms. It took a moment to realize it was his pillow—not the boy—that he was
hugging. Yet it had been so real.

Now, trying to focus on work was a struggle in itself. It seemed autopilot had been turned on in

his brain and he supposed that was a good thing or he would have been useless today.

Just when he was beginning to get in sync with his duties, he stepped out of one of the patient's

rooms, entered the corridor—and nearly collided with Abel.

* * * *

Apparently Gabe had been serious about meeting Devlin because he chose to tag along when Abel

and Cole went to the hospital to visit Savannah. Abel had no idea if the doctor was even there and
had mixed feelings about seeing him again. It was best if he didn't see him—he knew what it would
do to him to just look at Devlin, gaze into those deep blue depths and just long to get lost in there; like
a condemned soul in hell gazing up at heaven, knowing it was eternally beyond their reach. That's
what Devlin was to him; something so beautiful that he could never touch. Literally.

Gabe was just questioning the whereabouts of Dr. Romeo when the door to one of the hospital

rooms they were passing opened and Devlin stepped out, stopping just short of crashing into Abel.

“Abel.” The start was apparent in both his voice and his eyes. He seemed at a loss for words for

a moment, his gaze locked on Abel's face—and something deep, profound floating in that look. A
slight sheen started to gloss the man's eyes when he seemed to realize he was staring, and quickly
shifted his attention to Cole, clearing his throat. “Cole.”

Smiling, Cole nodded. “Dr. Grant.” he glanced at Gabe. “This is a friend of ours, Gabe.”
“Gabe.” Devlin smiled and held out his hand. “It's good to meet you.”
“Likewise, I'm sure.” Gabe's lips twisted as he clasped the man's hand. “I've heard a lot about

you.”

Abel's head snapped around and he stared hard at Gabe. Why had he said that?
“Really?” Devlin lifted an eyebrow. “Well, I hope it wasn't all bad.”
Chuckling, Gabe shook his head. “Oh no, it was really quite favorable.”
Oh god, what was he doing? Abel groaned inwardly, his face warming. He shot Gabe another

Would you shut up! Look.

“Well that's good to know.” Devlin smiled and his eyes drifted to Abel before turning back to

Gabe. “Do you work at the club with Cole and Abel? The Zodiac...right?”

“Yeah.” Cole interjected. “He's from the club too.”
Gabe cast Cole a questioning look, but then caught on and nodded. “Yeah, the Zodiac. Nice little

club.”

Abel was suddenly unnerved by the skeptical look in Devlin's eyes; did the man suspect they were

lying? But why would he doubt them?

“Maybe I'll come by sometime.” Devlin said casually, though he seemed to be watching them

intently. “Check it out.”

Without waiting for Cole or Gabe to come up with a reply, Abel stepped in and changed the

subject. “Have you seen Savannah today?”

The doctor shifted as quickly as Abel once Savannah was mentioned. The sudden solemn look on

his face scared Abel. “She isn't having a good day.” he said slowly, softly. “She had a bit of a
setback.”

“A...a what?” Abel's hands tightened into anxious fists. “A setback? What does that mean?” He

could hear the panic in his own voice. “Is she okay?”

Cole stepped up behind him and gripped his shoulders, just his presence offering a small measure

of comfort.

* * * *

Devlin's eyes followed Cole's hands as they held Abel's shoulders. The boy visibly relaxed a

fraction, though he was clearly still frightened. “Yes.” Devlin said. “She's resting. This happens
sometimes with this kind of...” He hesitated; what all had Abel told his friends about Savannah? But
his question was quickly answered.

“It's okay.” Abel said. “They know about Savannah.”
Nodding, Devlin continued. “Well, it's not uncommon with this disease that there are good days

and bad days. Savannah will likely fluctuate back and forth...” for the rest of her life. The words
stuck and refused to push out. The look in Abel's amber eyes were ripping holes in Devlin's heart. He
saw the question on Abel's face. Please don't ask it.

“For...how long?” he whispered.
Pinching the bridge of his nose, Devlin sighed. “For the rest of her life.”
Abel trembled and Cole's arms slid around his neck, his lips pressing to the boy's hair. Gabe

stepped closer and touched the boy's arm, squeezing affectionately.

“Can I...see her?”
“Dr. Jacobs doesn't really want her having visitors while she's resting.” Abel's face tightened

with emotion, his throat working. Tears glossed his eyes. Fuck, why does everything I say have to
hurt you? Knowing what he now knew about Abel...every wound he caused the boy punched another
hole in his heart. He relented. “It would probably be okay if you stopped in for a few minutes, but...”

he looked at Cole and Gabe. “Abel is the only one who can go in. I'm sorry. Dr. Jacobs' orders.”

Cole nodded. “I understand.” He ducked his head and spoke close to Abel's ear. “You gonna be

all right?”

“I'll go with him.” Devlin said, and didn't miss the slight tension that gripped the boy. Cole said

something else, too quiet for Devlin to hear, and Abel nodded slowly.

“We'll be just outside.” Cole told the kid then—as if it were the most natural thing to do—kissed

his cheek. Gabe hugged him and kissed his hair, spoke soft words of assurance then the two men
walked away.

Letting his eyes caress the young man's face—unable to stop the tender, longing look even if he

wanted to—he motioned down the corridor. “Shall we?”

Abel hesitated, glancing anxiously back the way Cole and Gabe had gone, then moved forward

silently, hands shoving into the pockets of his jeans, head ducked, eyes staring almost forcefully at the
floor as if determined not to look at Devlin.

“Seems like you have some great friends.” he said softly. Abel nodded but didn't answer. When

they rounded the corner of the wide corridor, Devlin slowed, started to touch Abel's arm then drew
back before he made the same mistake twice. “Abel.” he came to a full stop and the boy paused as
well. “I want to apologize for yesterday. I didn't mean to upset you.” Emotion squeezed his voice.
“Please forgive me.”

The boy fidgeted, his lips pressed tight. “You don't have to apologize.” he mumbled, still

avoiding eye contact. “I...overreacted. I'm sorry.”

Devlin knew he was bordering on desperation, afraid of wasting a possible opportunity, needing

another chance to prove himself to Abel. “Maybe we could...give it another try?” he asked. That
desperation seeped into his voice and he cringed inwardly. Nothing like a desperate man making
moves on him to put his mind at ease. The sarcasm was sour on the back of his tongue.
“Perhaps...lunch? You choose the restaurant...I'll buy.”

A hand tugged from his pocket and rubbed slowly over his mouth...then that fateful shake of his

head and the words that cut through Devlin's heart. “I...can't. I'm sorry.”

Maybe he just means he can't today. Devlin knew he was grasping at straws but he couldn't stop

himself. “If you're not free today, maybe another day?”

“No.” Abel looked at him and the boy's eyes were glossy. “Not...ever.” And that was it. That

look, those words, punctured Devlin's heart and he felt it deflate in his chest, shrivel down to an
aching ball. And he knew right then and there; he was paying for the sins of another man.

He nodded slowly, nothing left to do but accept. No more straws to grasp onto.

Chapter Seventeen

Puzzle Piece

Not ever.
With those words, the man crumbled before his eyes, though he had admirably maintained his

composure. Still, Abel had witnessed the fall behind his deep blue eyes, the crashing down of his
heart. And Abel fell with it, feeling the pain, the heart break...the devastation.

Why did you have to like me? Why couldn't you be like everyone else out in this shitty world

and just look right through me? Not even see me? Why did you have to make me hurt you?

The doctor didn't push him once those words came out. He seemed to simply accept the reality

that Abel was thrusting at him. And that made it all hurt just that much more. Did he think the man
would protest? Ask why? Press him for that second date?

They walked the remainder of the way to Savannah's room in uncomfortable silence. Over and

over during the short trek Abel wanted to take the words back, tell the man that—Yes—they could try
again, give it another shot. But the words balanced sourly on the back of his tongue then slid down his
throat, leaving a bitter trail behind. It would be crueler to give the man hope that they could actually
have something together, when they couldn't. It was better to just cut him loose now. Later...it would
hurt more, cause more damage. Maybe this way, Devlin would merely come out of it with a few
scratches and bruises—but no real scars.

Savannah was asleep when they entered the room. Abel walked to the bed as Devlin moved

slowly towards the window and looked out. The day had grown overcast with the threat of a light
rain. It seemed to fit the dreary mood inside the hospital room. Abel stared at the man's back for a
moment, watched his hand creep up and rub his neck as if his muscles were tight with tension.

Images of last night flashed through his head. Why couldn't everything be that easy with Devlin?

Why couldn't he just crawl in the man's bed, into his arms...and feel at total peace?

Abel pulled his eyes away and looked down at his sister. How could he even be thinking of

Devlin right now? Tears burned and he slid his hand into Savannah's. She stirred a little and squeezed
his hand weakly, her eyes drifting open heavily.

“Abel...you're here.” A smile tried to form on her lips, but even that seemed to take too much

effort. You have to get better. You have to! Don't leave me . She turned her head slowly and looked at
the doctor, then forced the smile onto her lips. “Be nice to Dr. Grant.” she whispered, barely audible.
“He's a nice man. A good man.”

“Don't try to talk right now.” he said thickly, her words winding around his heart and squeezing

until he could barely breathe, making him want to break down and cry. He longed for the peace he had
found in Cole's and Gabe's arms last night, that sense of love and belonging. He had felt so safe,
so...untouchable by the cold world and its harsh realities. His feet ached to run outside, flee all the
pain residing in this room, and just throw himself back into their arms and beg them to make it go
away again.

“Abel?” Savannah murmured. “Why are you crying?”
He blinked quickly as Devlin turned from the window, his clouded eyes settling on Abel's wet

face. A deep anguish resonated in the man's gaze. Abel wiped at his face hurriedly then cleared his
throat. “It's nothing. I'm fine.” he rasped, not feeling anywhere near fine.

* * * *

Becoming a doctor was, in part, to rid Devlin of that sense of helplessness. Equipping him with

the knowledge and education to actually do something positive in the lives of others. But staring at
Abel, in this moment, he had never felt more helpless in all his life. For that fraction of a minute that
Abel had held his eyes, he'd witnessed the truth of Savannah's declaration—He does like you—
shimmering in those damp amber depths. But then it was gone, like an apparition vanishing into thin
air.

Devlin faced the window again, his eyes sinking to the parking lot below. Cole and Gabe lounged

against a concrete pillar. He followed Gabe's hand as it tugged a pack of cigarettes from his pocket
and shook one out. He grabbed the butt with his lips, holding the cigarette in his mouth as he offered
one to Cole. The man shook his head and Gabe slid out a book of matches from the plastic casing
around the pack, tore off a match and lit the cigarette. He tossed the matchbook—apparently empty—
into the sand tray and took a long drag off the stick.

How did you two earn his trust? Devlin wondered silently, aching to ask them straight out.

Please tell me. I see how he is with you, how safe he feels around you. A needle of envy poked at
his heart. What was their secret? Surely there had been a time, when they'd first met Abel, that he
didn't trust them anymore than he trusted Devlin now—so what had they done to get through to him?

The corners of his jaw ached as emotion swelled inside him. He wanted to punch the wall,

scream out the window, insist they tell him what to do, he would do whatever it took. But he just
stood immobile, body numb, occasionally feeling the boy's eyes on him, aching to turn and look into
those amber pools, perhaps find the secret to his heart somewhere in their depths.

He rubbed his eyes and found them damp. What little professionalism he'd ever had around the

kid—was gone. It was his place to keep the doctor/patient relationship intact, but he didn't know how
anymore. When he was around Abel, he wasn't a doctor—just a man falling in love with a boy who
had, out of nowhere, swept in and knocked him off his feet, turned his world upside down and
grabbed hold of his heart so fierce and tight that Devlin had no choice but to surrender it...or die
trying to hold it back.

* * * *

Cole stood up from where he sat on the concrete base of the pillar when Abel came out of the

main entrance to the hospital. The boy's face was tight with tension, his eyes watery.

“How is Savannah?” Cole asked slowly.
Abel shook his head. “She looks so...weak.” he whispered, voice thick with tears. “The...doctor

said she could be feeling great tomorrow. That...it's just how the disease works.”

The doctor. It didn't escape Cole's attention that he didn't say Devlin, using the doctor's first

name. Didn't even say Dr. Grant.

Abel walked to the car as Cole and Gabe followed. The two men exchanged an anxious glance.

The kid had been in fairly good spirits this morning, and now he seemed to be sinking back down. But
how could they expect much else? With Abel having to deal with his sister's sickness, and at the same
time trying to work out his feeling for Devlin Grant—it was wreaking havoc on the boy's heart, mind
and body.

The ride back to Abel's apartment passed in silence. Rather than sit up front with the two of them,

Abel had opted to sit in the back seat. He leaned against the door, head on the window and stared
blankly at the passing city outside. At some point, he closed his eyes, though the stiffness in his body
told Cole he wasn't asleep. The boy looked lost...without hope. He was far too young to have to be
dealing with so much shit—past and present.

“So what should I pick up for dinner tonight? Gabe asked casually when they walked into the

apartment. He had already made his decision to stay another night with Abel, without making the kid
ask. Cole, too, made that choice the moment he saw Abel's face when he'd come out of the hospital.
The boy didn't need to be trying to carry this much weight all on his own.

“You guys don't have stay again.” Abel murmured and tossed his apartment key in the glass dish in

the center of the small kitchen table. His back was to them and he rubbed his neck.

“Well.” Cole said. “We want to.”
Abel shook his head. “No.” he whispered. “I...I don't want you to.”
Casting a puzzle look at Gabe, Cole approached the boy. “Why?” He glanced again at Gabe. “Is

this about last night? If we...made you feel uncomfortable...you should have told us. You know that
wasn't what we wanted.” He didn't really believe that was the problem. Abel had been at ease with
them last night.

“You didn't.” Abel's voice thickened and he hugged himself. “I just...don't want to get used to it.”
“To what?” Gabe asked.
Abel turned slowly and faced them. “To...you guys...” his chin trembled and he pressed his lips

tight. “To you guys being in my life...this way.” A wall of tears rose up in his eyes. “What you did for
me last night...I'll never forget it and I'll...always love you for it. But,” he cleared his throat and
struggled to pull back the tears. “But it would be too easy for me to start...needing it.”

He swallowed thick as his glossy eyes shifted between the two men. “Start needing...you. I know

that last night...you did it because you care about me and...even love me to some degree. But this
situation...I don't want to start making it out in my mind to be more than it is. And I will...if you guys
keep coming around, keep...staying with me.”

Releasing a slow breath, Cole frowned. “So...we're just supposed to walk away? Leave you

alone in all this?”

“Yes.” Abel whispered and ducked his head, tears sliding down his face. “It isn't your job to

babysit me, to...fix what's wrong with me. Or...deal with my shit.” He raised his head, face wet. “I
don't want to love you...the way I'm starting to. I don't...” he bit his lip and turned away, trembling. “I
don't want to love anyone...at all.” he choked softly. “Ever.”

Cole went to him and wrapped his arms around him, holding him tight. He knew what this was

about. Abel pulled against his arms but Cole held fast, not letting him go. “We're not leaving you,
Abel.” he whispered. “We're not going to walk away and just abandon you.”

“Let go.” Abel choked.
“No.” Cole turned him to face him then hugged him close as the boy continued to struggle against

his embrace.

“Let me go, Cole!” he cried. “Just leave me alone! I want to be alone!”
“No you don't.” Cole said softly. “You're just scared, baby. You're scared you're going to lose

Savannah.” and you're afraid of loving anyone else who could be taken away too.

A strangled cry wrenched out of him and he clung to Cole, shaking in his arms. Gabe came to them

and rubbed his hand over Abel's head, kissing his hair. “It's okay to be scared, Abel.” he murmured.
“You wouldn't be human if you weren't. But Savannah's a tough kid—because you taught her how to
be tough.”

Cole pressed his face down into Abel's neck. “You can kick and scream and tell us to go away,

baby.” he whispered, hugging the boy tighter. “But we're staying right here. And you can love us any
way you want.” He kissed the soft skin below Abel's ear. “And we'll love you right back, heartbeat
for heartbeat.”

* * * *

A light, cool breeze grabbed Devlin's hair, lifting strands, twisting gently. Tiny raindrops landed

on his face and lips as he walked from under the outer ceiling over the hospital entrance. He tugged
his jacket around him and picked up his pace as the drops grew thicker.

He crossed the drive-through and stepped up on the concrete walk that ran down the length

between two rows of parking spaces—where Cole and Gabe had come out for a smoke. The men
seemed so close to Abel, so...in tune with the boy. Again, envy pricked him. It wasn't that he was
jealous of their relationship—he just wanted to know their secret to getting past the barrier Abel
lived behind.

His eyes darted casually to the sand tray as he walked by, absently taking note of the cigarette

butts crammed into the sand, bits of chewing gum and burned matches. The empty matchbook Gabe
had tossed in lay on top, face up, displaying a gold silhouette of an exotic male dancer with fiery
wings and the logo—The Phoenix Club.

Chapter Eighteen

Comfort Zone

“You sure you're ready to come back?” Max sat at the end of the bar, a scotch on the rocks before

him. He absently twisted the glass back and forth.

It had been two days since Savannah's setback and him telling Devlin point blank that he didn't

want another date with him—a lie, but a necessary one, despite how bad it hurt. He barely felt the
throb in his back anymore, and the direct pain was gone. He couldn't take sitting in the apartment
another day, his thoughts torturing him on so many levels that a handful of sleeping pills was
beginning to sound more and more appealing.

Returning to work seemed the preferred option, he had decided.
It felt good to be home. Back in his comfort zone. But his relief and joy was overshadowed by

tomorrow's meeting with Dr. Jacobs. He had told Abel yesterday that the tests results would be ready
and he wanted to discuss them with him—then together, talk to Savannah. The treatment for the PCP
was helping, and she seemed to be recovering from that...but it was merely a symptom of a much
worse condition. The test results would tell them how much worse.

Gabe and Cole had already insisted on being there with him when the doctor discussed the results

with Abel. There had been no point in fighting them on it, and in truth—he felt relieved that they
would be there. If it turned out to be the worst case scenario, Abel was sure he would break—and he
needed Cole and Gabe there to pick up the pieces when he did.

“Yeah.” he told Max now. “I'm good to go.”
The man nodded and sipped his scotch. “All right. It's good to have you back.” He set the glass

down, concern tightening his brow. “How is Savannah doing?”

“Okay...for now.” Abel said quietly. “The test results will be in tomorrow.”
Max nodded. “Yeah, that's what Cole said.” he murmured. “Him and Gabe are going with you?”
Abel nodded.
“Good.” he sighed. “You shouldn't have to go there alone.” His lips pressed tight. “I really hope

the news is good, Abel. As good as it can be, anyway. Savannah's a good kid. It's a fucking shame this
had to happen.”

Abel stared at the floor, throat tight, just wanting to find a customer to distract his thoughts.
“Have you thought anymore about Kaplan's offer?” Max murmured. “He's been asking.”
Shaking his head, Abel shrugged. “I can't think about that just yet.” he said quietly. “Maybe after I

talk to the doctor tomorrow...” But regardless of what the test results were, Savannah would still need
treatment and medication—for the rest of her life. If he could make enough from Kaplan to pay for it
in advance, maybe he could start figuring out a way where he didn't need the man's money.

“All right.” Max nodded slowly. “Like I said, it's up to you what you decide.”
Right, Abel thought sourly. There was no choice. “I'll let you know.” Abel mumbled and left the

bar, making his way back to the dressing rooms.

He stripped down and was pulling on a sparkling red g-string when Cole stepped in. A low

whistle brought a smile to Abel's face despite his distorted thoughts. “It isn't like you haven't seen this
look a thousand times.”

“True.” Cole chuckled. “But you've been away, and I've missed it.”

Abel shook his head. “You've spent the last three nights in my bed. What, exactly, have you been

missing?”

“Well, be fair now.” Cole smiled. “Two of those three nights...I've merely slept in your bed. And

you weren't bare assed—which, by the way, was damn cruel. Giving us a taste of your heavenly
sweetness then taking it away.” He clucked his tongue, and smirked. “You evil little tease.”

Rolling his eyes, Abel laughed softly. “You get enough of Gabe. What do you need me for?”
“Maybe you got me hooked on angel love.” he winked.
“Whatever.” Abel laughed again. He knew Cole was just teasing him. The man understood why

Abel hadn't made love to them again since that first time. It wasn't easy sleeping in the same bed with
them—between them, no less—knowing now how it felt to be loved by them. The second they all
crawled beneath the blankets, Abel was instantly hard, every time, and it didn't ease up throughout
each night, their warm bodies cuddling close to his. He didn't have to explore their crotches to know
they were every bit as hard as he was.

But that first night with them had been overwhelming, all consuming. He had meant what he'd told

them—he didn't want to make it out to be more than it was. If he made love to them again...he wasn't
sure he could ever let them out of his bed. And among other reasons, he didn't want that because he
was afraid they might eventually want to leave, but feel obligated to stay.

* * * *

It came as no real surprise when Abel showed up at the hospital with both Cole and Gabe at his

heels. Lately it seemed the two men were a permanent fixture in the boy's life. When they entered the
office, Devlin found himself studying the men more closely. Their exquisite physiques were
understandable—now that he was aware of their...profession. He hadn't known exactly what The
Phoenix Club was when he'd found the matchbook, but the logo on the front was fairly self
explanatory, and a quick drive-by of the club had confirmed it.

Then he had gone into denial, insisting Gabe could have just visited the club and picked up the

matchbook while there. But the fact that they had lied about working at the Zodiac, and Abel's
obvious unease that first time Devlin had asked him which club he worked at—it all pointed back to
the Phoenix.

As the three sat down, per Dr. Jacobs' request—Abel sitting in the center chair between the two

men—it was Abel who Devlin had a difficult time imagining working in such a place. Maybe he
doesn't strip—Savannah said he worked as a stock boy. That was the reasoning that kept his mind
from blowing a gasket. He just couldn't fathom the boy up on a stage, nearly naked, dancing for the
likes of men who frequented those places.

How could he even be within the vicinity of a strip club—and hordes of jacked up men who

wouldn't think twice about fucking the kid first chance they got—after what he had endured in his
past? It didn't make a lot of sense to Devlin and he was having a hell of a time wrapping his mind
around it.

He shoved the thoughts away as Jacobs began to explain the test results to Abel. His concern,

right now, shouldn't be whether Abel stripped for money—but Savannah's welfare.

“I understand Dr. Grant explained to you about CD4 levels?” Dr. Jacobs asked Abel. The boy

nodded, face tight, anxious. He gripped the arms of his chair, and as his tension built, Cole and Gabe
covered his hands with theirs. “Then you know that a CD4 level of two hundred or below is a major
indicator that the HIV virus had transitioned to AIDS.”

Abel nodded slowly, his throat working. He seemed on the verge of a nervous breakdown, or an

anxiety attack. And was it any wonder? How long had Savannah been in his care? Where were their
parents?

“Savannah's CD4 count is three hundred.” Dr. Jacobs said. “But that is dangerously close. Far too

close for comfort.”

A mixture of fear and hope churned in Abel's eyes. “Are...are you saying she doesn't have...” His

voice trailed off.

“No.” Jacobs confirmed. “The disease hasn't transitioned to AIDS yet. But,” he added with

emphasis, “the PCP is typically an AIDS defining condition, and the extremely low CD4 count puts
her at extreme risk. She needs to begin treatment immediately or she will become susceptible to other
dangerous diseases because her immune system won't be able to combat them.” He rubbed his hand
over his mouth. Devlin watched Abel. The boy seemed numb with the information being thrust at him.
“Cancer is a big risk. Brain tumors.”

Abel's head ducked slowly, tears welling up and draining down his cheeks. Cole slid an arm

around his shoulder and he turned into the man, burying his face in his chest. Devlin's initial reaction
to these men's livelihood had been, on some level, distaste. But watching Cole comfort Abel,
detecting the depth of sincere concern for the boy in both men...Devlin couldn't help but admire their
loyalty to Abel. Whether or not he approved of what they did for a living—they were good friends to
the boy. And right now, he needed all the support he could get.

* * * *

Cancer. Brain tumors.
The nightmare swelled and pulsated around Abel like a living, breathing creature. Would he ever

awake from the horror? Or would it just one day finally consume him?

“I will set up an appointment for you to meet with a doctor who specializes in the treatment of

HIV and AIDS.” Dr. Jacobs told him. “More tests will be done to determine the medication regimen
Savannah will be placed on. And they can explain the fine details of the care she will need—her diet
and so on. But it will be very important that she adheres to the regimen. Failing to take the medication
properly could very well result in dire setbacks. You don't want that.”

Abel nodded slowly, numbly. Gabe's fingers brushed through his hair at the back of his head then

rested at the nape of his neck. He didn't want to be here anymore, didn't want to hear that his sister
would never truly be well again. His eyes darted to Devlin who stood silently near the window, just
watching, offering no input. Tension stiffened the man's stance and his face was tight with concern.

Be nice to Dr. Grant...he's a nice man. A good man . Savannah's words from the other day drifted

through Abel's mind. Devlin was a good man, he knew that. But it still didn't change the fact that his
touch incited panic. And Abel didn't know how to alter that.

Just forget about the man. You know what you have to do to take care of Savannah—and it

leaves no room for a personal relationship.

Devlin caught his stare just before Abel looked away. The ache in the man's blue eyes was

unmistakable, his longing to be close to Abel. If you only knew what I am, what I do...what I will be
doing...you wouldn't want me anyway. You can do better than me.

Pulling his eyes away as they began to sting, Abel looked at Dr. Jacobs as he continued to inform

Abel of the steps he could take for Savannah's care. “There are state and federal programs that can
assist in the cost of her medication. The referral doctor can help you decide which is best for

Savannah and get her set up in the program.”

Abel just nodded, though he wouldn't be putting her into any program. His job with Kaplan would

take care of the cost.

“We can talk to Savannah together, explain her condition.” he said. “Let her know how important

is that she get treatment as soon as possible.”

Abel's hands squeezed into fists in his lap. “I'll tell her.” he whispered. “It's...my responsibility.”
“I think it would help if I was there to explain everything.” Dr. Jacobs said.
Abel shook his head. “I...want to tell her...alone.” he said thickly. “Then you can...explain things

afterwards. But...I need to do it alone.”

Cole's arm tightened around his shoulder. “Are you sure?” he asked quietly. “We will come with

you.”

“No.” Abel shook his head. “I've always been straight with her. It needs to be...just me first.” His

voice dropped. “It's my fault.”

Chapter Nineteen

Say It Isn't So

It was quite impossible not to watch Abel and his two friends with renewed interest. When Abel

stood to leave, the two men stood with him. Cole cupped his head and kissed his brow, and told him
softly that he would get through this, he wasn't alone. Gabe hugged him with deep affection and
Devlin couldn't stop his mind from wondering what all their relationship consisted of. There seemed
to be an intimacy between the three that went beyond mere friendship.

Devlin cut his thoughts off there. He ached for and desired Abel on levels he hadn't even known

existed, and found himself desperately jealous that these two men could freely touch him when Devlin
himself couldn't so much as hold his hand.

Gabe and Cole left the room with Abel, walking him to Savannah's floor. Devlin forced himself to

stay behind, rather than trailing the boy like a lost puppy looking for affection. His presence wouldn't
be welcome, even at a short distance.

Just give it up. More than likely, he is already involved with one of these men—if not both. You

don't stand a chance. Abel is from a world you can't be a part of.

* * * *

“Are you sure you want to do this alone?” Cole asked again. They stood outside Savannah's room.
I'm scared shitless, Abel thought. What was he going to say? Maybe he should have let Dr.

Jacobs come with him to break the initial news to her, or even Devlin—

No, not Devlin. His presence would only make things worse, more difficult.
“Yeah.” Emotion strained his voice and he knew his fear showed through.
Gabe cupped his face and kissed him, then hugged him. “We're right here if you change your

mind.” he murmured.

Abel's arms tightened around Gabe a fraction, then released. “Thank you.” Drawing a deep

breath, he released slow and entered the room.

The top half of Savannah's bed was elevated and she was looking through one of her magazines.

When she heard the door open, she looked up and smiled big. “Abel.” There was always excitement
in her voice when she saw he was there to visit her. “I didn't know if you were coming in today.”

“Haven't I been in every day?” he smiled, an instant knot forming, choking him.
“Dr. Jacobs said he had some things to discuss with you.” there was uncertainty in her voice

suddenly. “Did you talk to him already?”

Abel's lips tightened and he nodded, his feet like lead weights as he approached her bed.
A shimmer of fear shadowed her bright green eyes. “What...what did he say?” she licked her lips.

“Can I go home soon? I feel a lot better.”

Her face blurred as tears came up instantly and his chin trembled. He bit his lip hard and ducked

his head, covering his face with his hand.

“Abel?” fear quivered in her quiet voice. “Abel, what's wrong?”
“Fuck.” he choked and shoved his fingers through his hair and raised his head, tears thick in his

eyes. “Savannah...” his throat locked, imprisoning the fateful words. He rubbed a quick hand over his

mouth and swallowed hard, struggling to dislodge the lump, but it remained.

“What did...Dr. Jacobs say?” she asked unsteadily, her lovely eyes filling up. “Abel? Is there...is

there something wrong with me?”

His eyes closed briefly, tears seeping out, running down his cheeks.
“What's...wrong with me, Abel?” her chin trembled as his inability to tell her the truth was enough

to let her know it was bad. Real bad.

“Savannah...” he sniffed and wiped his face. “You...you have...HIV.”
She just stared at him, momentarily confused. “Wh-what?” She knew what it was. It just hadn't

sunk in yet.

Taking her hand, he sat on the edge of the bed. His chin dropped to his chest and he pressed her

hand to his lips. “It's all my fault.” he choked, fresh tears following the course of the previous ones.

“What...what are you saying, Abel?” her voice hitched and thickened with tears. “I...I

have...AIDS?” Panic tightened her words as her tears slipped over. “I'm—I'm going to...die?”

She broke and Abel grabbed her, hugging her fiercely. “No.” the word ground out tightly between

clenched teeth. “You're not gonna die. And you...you don't have AIDS...not yet...and if you get
treatment, they can stop it from turning into AIDS. You're gonna be okay, Savannah.” he cried against
her hair, squeezing her in his arms. “I promise. I'll get you the medication, the treatment, anything you
need to get better.”

Shudders rushed through her body as she hugged him back, crying against his shoulder. “I don't

want to die, Abel.”

“I told you.” he choked. “You're not. I'll take care of you.”
She pulled back a little, tears streaming. “Why...why did you say it's your fault?”
Abel dropped his forehead to her shoulder and cried brokenly. “I should've gotten you off the

streets. You shouldn't have had to…to dig through fucking garbage to eat.” He choked on a sob and
raised his head. “That night...when you stabbed your hand on something in the garbage can...I—I think
it was a...dirty needle.”

The girl's chest hitched, her breath broken and tears filling and spilling over in a consistent flow.

“I've...I've had it all this time?” she trembled. “Is that why...I'm always sick?”

Abel nodded slowly as she swam before him. She broke down again and he pulled her back into

his arms, crying into her hair.

“I'm scared, Abel.” she sobbed against his neck.
“Me too.” he swallowed hard and held her tighter. “But I'm gonna take care of this. I'm gonna take

care of you. You'll get better, you will.” his body shook as a rush of sobs piled in his throat. You have
to. I can't lose you.

* * * *

After Dr. Jacobs came in and talked to Savannah about their options, and her and Abel meeting

with the referral doctor, she was finally exhausted enough to sleep. Abel was reluctant to leave her,
but Jacobs said she needed her rest and it was best if he came back the next day.

Devlin had faded away and was nowhere to be seen as Abel walked back outside with Cole and

Gabe. “Do you want to go back to the apartment?” Cole asked when they were in the car. “Max
doesn't expect you to work tonight, not after having to deal with this today.”

“I wanna go to the club.” Abel said. “I need to talk to Max.” he faltered, then added, “Let him

know what's going on with Savannah.” It wasn't a lie, just not all of the truth. It was time to deal with

Kaplan. Savannah needed to start treatment as soon as possible, and he didn't want anything delaying
it.

Cole didn't argue. Being alone at the apartment these days wasn't appealing to Abel, and both

Cole and Gabe understood that.

At the bar, Abel asked the whereabouts of Max from Carl.
“Back in his office, I think.” Carl said.
Abel nodded and headed that way as Cole and Gabe went back to the dressing rooms to get ready

for work. Pausing outside Max's door, Abel knocked.

“It's open.” Max called from the other side.
“Max...” Abel opened the door and stepped inside. “I wanted-” His words sliced off when he

noticed Kaplan sitting on the leather sofa as Max lounged in the matching leather armchair, both with
a glass of scotch in their hands.

“Abel.” Max stood. “Come in.” Kaplan stood as well. Abel looked him over, having never seen

him up close. The man was handsome enough, mid-to-late thirties, clean shaven, short neat haircut.
His suit looked expensive, and the gold watch on his wrist confirmed that the man spared no expense
when it came to style.

His words stuck in his throat. He had come here to tell Max to set up a meeting with Kaplan—but

the man was already here. Yet now, Abel didn't feel prepared. The guy had caught him off guard.

“Abel.” Max said, motioning towards the other man. “This is Horatio Kaplan.”
The man stepped forward and held out his hand, a pleasant smile curving his lips. “It's good to

finally meet you, Abel.” Abel shook his hand, but when he went to pull out of it, Kaplan held him
secure for a moment longer. “I've been a...fan of yours for some time now.” His eyes, nearly the shade
of mahogany, swept down Abel's body then back up again in a smooth glance. “You're a beautiful
dancer.”

Abel tugged his hand loose and glanced away. “Thank you.” he mumbled.
“Have you had time to consider my offer?” he asked casually, as if they were conducting

everyday business.

Why don't you go fuck yourself? Abel thought bitterly, but slowly nodded. “Yeah...I have.”
The man raised a neatly trimmed eyebrow and sipped at his glass of scotch. “And?”
“I'll do it.” he murmured, then met the man's pleased eyes. “But only after some terms are set.”
Kaplan smiled. “Of course.” he motioned towards the sofa. “We can go over them now, if you

wish.”

Abel could feel the shakes beginning in the pit of his stomach—the events of the day beginning to

come back on him. His eyes burned and he had to bite his tongue not to scream out curses at God for
dumping him in this situation. But what was the point? God didn't care what happened to him, and he
wouldn't care if Abel was pissed at him. Why waste his breath?

“No.” he said thickly, barely holding his tears at bay. “Not today. We can meet tomorrow,

but...not here.” He didn't want Cole or Gabe catching wind of this deal.

“All right.” Kaplan was compliant. “Where?”
Abel shook his head slowly. “I...don't care.”
The man's shapely eyebrow slid up again. “My penthouse apartment?”
Abel's gut tightened. He'd worked long enough around lustful men to know the look of sexual

hunger when he saw it. Did the man think he could get himself a piece of Abel as soon as tomorrow?

A knowing smile touched his lips. “For contract purposes only.” he assured, clearly reading

Abel's look of uncertainty.

“Fine.” Abel whispered tightly.
Kaplan reached inside his jacket and took out a sleek leather wallet and produced a card with his

phone and address on it. A silver indecipherable logo was stamp in the corner. “It's a private
building. Show this to the doorman and he'll direct you to my suite.” Fingering the card, Abel nodded.
Kaplan finished his drink in one swallow and set the glass on the small bar in the corner of Max's
office then held out his hand again to Abel. “Tomorrow then. Noon? I'll have lunch prepared.”

Shaking his hand once more, Abel simply nodded, offering the man no indication he looked

forward to their meeting. He bid Max farewell and then he was gone. Abel stared at the card then slid
it into his pocket.

“How is Savannah?” Max asked sincerely—as if he hadn't just been party to Abel selling his soul

as well as his body.

“Not too good.” he whispered without looking at the man. “She didn't...take the news so well.

But...she's dealing.”

Max walked over and squeezed Abel's shoulder. “She'll get through this. She's a fighter.”
The man had been the closest thing Abel had ever known as a father figure, but now...he felt sold

out. Betrayed. Yes, Max had left the ultimate choice up to Abel—but why was he hanging out and
drinking with the man like they were best friends? He didn't care that Kaplan was paying Abel to
whore himself out?

Can you really expect more from the owner of a strip club?
He had expected more from Max.

Chapter Twenty

An Ample Offer

“Are you mad at Dr. Grant?”
Abel emptied the plastic bag of new magazines and a couple pocket books, stacking them on

Savannah's table beside her bed. “Why would you think that?” he met her eyes, and his stomach
pinched hard. She was doing her best to be brave, but something had died behind those sea green
pools the moment he'd told her how sick she really was.

“The other day, it just seemed like you were ignoring him—on purpose.”
“I wasn't ignoring him.” Abel murmured and shifted his eyes to the roll-away table. He picked up

her plastic water pitcher. “Do you want me to refill this for you?”

“Abel.”
He sighed and set the pitcher down. “What?”
Savannah just gazed at him. “He's a good guy, Abel.” she said quietly, sincerely.
“I never said he wasn't.” His throat hurt as an ache began to squeeze and vein up into his jaw and

face. “Why are we even talking about him?”

“Because you like him.”
“Savannah...”
“And he likes you.” she said. “Really likes you.”
Abel ducked his head and rubbed his forehead with his fingertips. “Savannah, please. Just...stop,

okay?” He raised his head. “Maybe from your perspective it seems all romantic and such...but this is
real life. And if anything, real life has taught me very little good actually happens in people's lives.”
his face tightened and he looked away. “It isn't going to happen, Savannah. So please...just let it go.”

Her hand covered her his and squeezed gently. “You don't have to be afraid of him, Abel. He

would never...hurt you.”

“Dammit, Savannah.” he choked tightly. “I said just let it go.”
“I don't want you to be alone, Abel.” she said suddenly, a rush of emotion pushing into her voice.

Tears filled her eyes.

He frowned. “What?”
“If...if something happens to me.” she whispered, chin trembling. “I don't...want you to be all

alone. I don't want you to be afraid to love someone.”

He shook his head, vision blurring. “Nothing is going to happen to you. You're going to be fine.”
“But what if I'm not?” she cried softly. “I want you to have someone.”
“Well I don't!” he choked hard, instantly regretting his harshness. “I don't want anyone else in my

life, Savannah. It's you and me...against the world. It always has been. If...” he bit his lips and turned
his face away as tears broke loose. “If you ever leave me...I won't waste my time loving someone
else...just so this fucking world can take them away too.”

* * * *

The boy quickly wiped his eyes and turned away when Devlin entered the room. He smiled

warmly at Savannah but couldn't keep his eyes from drifting repeatedly to Abel. The young man's pain

wafted off him like heat waves. “Good morning, Savannah.”

The girl's eyes were red and damp, but she still managed a soft smile. “Good morning, Dr.

Grant.”

Abel remained silent, messing with a stack of magazines on the table.
“Good morning, Abel.”
The boy nodded but refused to look at him. “'Morning.” he mumbled. Savannah looked at her

brother, her large eyes sad.

“How do you feel today, Savannah?” Devlin asked softly.
“Not too bad.” Her gaze continually jumped to her brother.
Devlin glanced from Abel to Savannah. “Did I interrupt something? I can come back a little

later.”

“No.” Abel spoke up. His voice was thick with emotion, and rough from crying. “I have to go

anyway.”

“You just got here.” Savannah said.
He looked at the girl apologetically. “I know, I'm sorry.” he cleared his throat and avoided both

hers and Devlin's gaze. “I...have to meet someone for lunch.”

Devlin's heart went static. He had a lunch date?
“Who?” Savannah asked the question bouncing around in his head.
“Just...someone.” he mumbled, “he's expecting me at noon.”
It was only ten-thirty. The kid had plenty of time. He was leaving because of Devlin.
“You still have enough time to visit for awhile.” Savannah said.
“I'll come back later.” he said gently. “I promise.”
Who was this he that Abel was having lunch with? If it were Cole or Gabe, he would've just said

so. Why does he get a fucking lunch date and I get shit? Devlin's blood simmered and he wanted to
throw the question at the kid. But he refrained. Abel didn't owe him anything. He was just jealous of
the thought of someone else getting what he'd practically begged the kid for. Fucking jealous.

Abel kissed Savannah's brow. “I'll be back later.”
“Abel...” her eyes flicked to Devlin then back to her brother. Abel just shook his head and walked

out. What was that all about?

Devlin gave the girl his own apologetic look. “I didn't mean to run him off.” he shrugged and

sighed. “Guess he really doesn't like me after all, huh?” He reached for lightness, but his words
dropped heavy, smashing to the bottom of his heart.

Her sad eyes lingered on the door. “Dr. Grant.” she whispered.
“Yes, sweetheart?”
Drifting slowly, her gaze shifted from the door to Devlin's face. “He didn't leave because he

doesn't like you.” she told him quietly. “He left because he does...and it scares him.” Tears rose up.
“Please don't give up on him.”

Devlin had to look away as his eyes stung fiercely. What a beautiful sister Abel had...balancing

on the edge of life, and her one concern—her brother.

He cleared his throat and looked at her, then smiled softly. “I didn't plan to.” And only when the

words left his lips did he realize—he truly meant it.

* * * *

The card was magic; Just one flash and it opened doors and afforded him the royal treatment. Do

all the boys you fuck get one of these cards? Abel thought dryly as he followed the doorman to a set
of gold elevators. Rather than the up and down buttons, there was a small security keypad. The man's
face remained emotionless as he punched in a code and the doors opened immediately.

He motioned for Abel to enter. “Mr. Kaplan is expecting you.” He turned and walked away as the

doors slid silently shut. He barely felt the elevator shift and it made no noise as it moved up past floor
after floor. Had he not been watching the floor numbers changing, he would've thought he was
motionless.

The interior of the elevator gleamed; the inside of the gold doors polished, Abel's reflection as

sharp as if looking in a mirror. He leaned against the gold railing around the paneled walls and
watched the blue light climb through the floor numbers. He didn't want to look at himself. Anymore,
he wasn't sure what he would see.

His stomach began to grind as he neared the top floor. The Penthouse. Never in his life had he

ever expected to set foot in a penthouse. But then, neither had he fathomed that a rich man would find
his ass so appealing he would pay a shit load just to tap it.

Abel flinched when the doors suddenly slid open. He hadn't even realized the elevator had

stopped. He released a slow, tight breath and stepped tentatively out into a small carpeted area that
reminded Abel of a posh waiting room—without the chairs. Across from him was a pair of double
doors with brass knobs.

The grinding in his gut becoming painful, Abel stepped over to the doors and knocked lightly. It

was only seconds before they both opened at once and Horatio Kaplan stood before him, dressed a
bit more casually but his wardrobe still boasting I'm rich as fuck.

“Abel.” he smiled. “Come in.” He stepped back and waved his hand towards the interior of his

apartment. “Welcome to my humble abode.”

Humble abode? If this was humble—what the fuck did proud look like?
He moved forward, entering the penthouse. Kaplan closed the doors quietly behind him. Trapped.

The word stabbed his brain and for a brief moment he almost panicked and rushed the doors. But he
forced himself to calm. Nothing was going to happen. He was just here to discuss the terms of
their...arrangement. Ah, wasn't it wonderful how money could make even the most depraved
activities seem suave and debonair? Funny how titles changed the whole outlook. You're not a whore
—you're an escort. Much more dignified. Just had to put the right spin on it. Now you won't feel so
filthy when he pays to stuff his cock into you.

Fuck.
“Please. Have a seat.” Kaplan directed him to an expensive black leather sofa. A short, glass

table rimmed in gold framing set before the sofa, supporting a silver tray with three decanters of
liquor and crystal scotch glasses.

Abel sat on the edge of the cushions at the far end of the sofa, leaning forward on his knees, heels

tapping anxiously despite his efforts to calm them.

Chuckling softly, Kaplan sat in the center of the sofa. “Would you like a drink?”
Abel stared blankly at the liquor. “No thank you.” he whispered. There was a tremor to his voice

that the man couldn't possibly miss.

Sliding back on the sofa, Kaplan stretched his arm across the high plush cushions and crossed his

legs, gazing at Abel. “Please, relax.”

Yeah right. Like that's gonna happen.
“I didn't come here to socialize.” Abel murmured.
“Straight to business.” Kaplan nodded. “I can appreciate that.” He smiled. “So...what are your

terms?”

Abel licked his lips slowly and stared at the soft sky blue carpet. The color reminded him of

Gabe's eyes and suddenly wished to be with him and Cole, back at the club where he felt safe,
watched over. Here...he was exposed and vulnerable. Locked away in an ivory tower with a man
whose prince-like demeanor was merely a mask, concealing something far less regal. Though his
smile displayed no threat...the beast was there, hovering behind his eyes, waiting for the moment it
would be released to feast on his tender flesh.

“How often...will you want me here?” he asked thickly.
“Well, first of all.” Kaplan corrected. “It won't be here. And to answer your question...I will

want you with me on the weekends. I hate to travel alone.”

Abel frowned, the cramp in his stomach becoming violent. “Travel?” his voice shook.
“Dealing with business during the week makes me restless.” he said. “I like to take little jaunts on

the weekends in my private jet.” When Abel just stared at him, he smiled. “France, Italy.” He raised
an eyebrow. “Ever been overseas?”

What the hell was this turning into? He hadn't planned on signing up as the man's travel pal. It was

bad enough just being in the city away from the club, but—out of the fucking country?

Abel stood up, legs shaky. “I'm sorry.” he murmured. “I guess I misunderstood what it was you

wanted. I'm not going overseas with you...or anywhere away from the city.” He moved towards the
door, terrified of the reality that he was walking out on the only source of payment for Savannah's
care, but equally as terrified of being totally isolated with this man—geographically. Fuck, the man
could do anything he wanted and no one would be the wiser.

Kaplan didn't move to stop him. When he reached the doors, the man offered casually, “I'll pay

you five thousand per weekend.” he stood up slowly as Abel's hand froze on the brass knob. “Twenty
thousand a month. Up front, every month.”

Twenty thousand dollars a month? One month's pay would cover almost a year's worth of

medication for Savannah.

“No one has ever inspired me to make such an offer before.” Kaplan approached Abel. “But

watching you on that stage...” His hungry eyes caressed Abel's body as his voice lowered. “The way
your beautiful body moves so smooth and...fluidly. You're a natural artist. And myself...I've always
been an art lover.”

Abel's heart pounded, blood rushing through his veins.
Kaplan smiled, his eyes heavy with want as he brushed the back of his fingers down Abel's arm.

“Did you ever wonder why I didn't have you dance for me...privately?”

No. Abel wanted to pull away from the man's touch as his hand squeezed the door knob.
“I never made the request because I knew there was no way...with your beautiful body that close

to me...could I ever keep my hands off you.” His breath was slightly quicker as he continued to rub his
fingers against Abel's arm. “Your skin is so soft, and warm.” His eyes lifted and grabbed Abel's
anxious stare. “Please accept my offer. You'll never receive another quite as generous.” When Abel
hesitated, he sighed soft. “I know you need the money for your sister. I'm offering more than enough to
get her the care she needs.”

Max told him about Savannah? Motherfucker! Why that pissed him off, he wasn't sure. Perhaps

because it now felt like Kaplan was using her as a bargaining chip, knowing Abel had no other offers
on the table, no other options. Bringing Savannah to Kaplan's attention it seemed—now more than
ever—he was between a rock and a hard place. And from where he stood at this moment—that hard
place was getting harder by the second.

“Fine.” he whispered. “I'll do it.” He pulled open the doors and walked to the elevator. A

security code was required at this end as well.

“You're not staying for lunch?” Kaplan followed him through the doors casually.
“No.” Abel was finding it hard to breathe and wondered if it was the beginning of a panic attack.

“Please...open the elevator.”

Kaplan stepped up and punched in the code. The doors opened and Abel started to enter when

Kaplan blocked his way. “I'm paying a lot money for you.” he murmured. “I should at least be
allowed a sample of what I'll be getting.”

A surge of panic rushed through Abel but he fought it. He had to learn to deal with it, somehow.

“How much...of a sample?”

Kaplan smiled and moved closer to him. Abel's heart beat against his chest wall as the man

cupped his face, then his lips were on Abel's, kissing long, deep, his slick tongue invading his mouth,
grabbing at Abel's tongue. The man's strong body pressed against him and locked him to the wall as
his hands released Abel's face and fingertips raking lightly down his chest and stomach then curved
around his slim hips. Kaplan pulled out of the kiss and fingered the waistband of Abel's jeans.

“I can't wait...” he panted softly, voice thick with lust. “...to feel these hips moving so beautifully

against the sheets beneath me.” His lips moved across Abel's cheek, barely touching his skin as the
man breathed him in. His crotch pushed against Abel's, hard as stone. “The way you move your
body...I know you will be a beautiful fuck.” His fingers crept around to the front of Abel's pants and
played with the snap. He gave no indication of backing off.

Tears burned behind Abel's tightly clamped eyes, his breath quick and erratic. He pushed Kaplan

back and stepped quickly into the elevator, legs shaking. “Even at the club...” he said thickly. “Cash
comes first.”

A touché smile slid across Kaplan's lips as the doors closed.

Chapter Twenty-One

Too Hard To Handle

The gold emblem stared back at Devlin. His thumbs slid across the smooth image of the exotic

dancer then closed his fingers around the matchbook and covered his mouth with his other hand as he
sat on the edge of his bed. He could feel where his mind was pushing him, but he found himself
resisting—terrified of what he would discover.

Since finding the matchbook, his thoughts had been exploding with images of Abel on stage,

nearly naked, shoving his goods in the faces of horny men lusting for just one grope, one taste, of his
beautiful flesh—and filthy hands thrusting cash into his crotch.

There were those occasions when such thoughts had drifted into the realm of fantasy before he

could stop them—and it was just him and Abel alone, the boy dancing strictly for Devlin, his full
attention on Devlin...teasing, taunting with his body, his touch, promises of kisses that come just short
of making contact...working Devlin into sweet sexual agony and then...

Devlin squeezed his eyes shut and gripped a fistful of hair, groaning as space inside his shorts

began to disappear. What was wrong with him? He didn't—at all—like the idea of Abel being a
stripper. And maybe he wasn't...maybe he really was just a stock boy for the club. But his gut was
telling him different. So if he was so appalled by the notion—why did thoughts of Abel dancing incite
an instant hard-on every time?

You want to see him in action, you know you do.
Another agonized groan pushed up his throat, a cold heat seeping across the surface of his skin.

The ache in his crotch was becoming painful. How was it he desired this young man so intensely in
such a short period of time? That first gaze into those amber depths when the boy had lifted his eyes
and looked at him that night he'd come to the hospital—Devlin had been caught in that instant, and
since...hadn't wished to be set free.

“What are you doing to me, baby?” Devlin moaned, his palm beginning to sweat against the

matchbook. His hand opened slowly and he stared at the logo. He hadn't made just one drive-by of the
club. And it wasn't lost on him the way his foot would ease off the gas, slowing the car a bit, with
each pass—nor the struggle in his mind to find a parking space and enter the club. But he never had.
Whatever he witnessed in there, could never be unseen. And what if it devastated his heart?

He had told Savannah he hadn't planned on giving up on Abel...but what if he couldn't handle the

boy's activities inside the Phoenix? The need to talk to Abel, to just have the boy listen to him...hear
his heart...it was nearly more than he could stand. At the hospital, Abel kept the walls up solid around
him. But inside the club...were they still up? Could he even function in a place like that with walls up
around him?

Maybe if he went to the club to talk to him, he would have more of a chance of Abel hearing him

out.

That's it. Find your excuse. Make it viable, your presence at the club. Justify your curiosity.

* * * *

“Here, wear these.” Gabe handed him a pair blue skimpy shorts. “This will drive them out of

their minds...and their cash.”

Abel stripped then pulled on the shorts, checking himself out in the mirror; half his ass was

exposed and the waistband barely reached his hips. The thin material clung to his crotch, accentuating
his package. Perfect.

Gabe groaned and reached out, rubbing his hand over his tight little ass. “Fuck, baby. You're

gonna kill 'em tonight.”

“Maybe.” Abel cast him a sideways smile. “If they take their eyes off you long enough to notice

I'm there.”

Chuckling low, Gabe shook his head. “Trust me, baby—you will be the star of the show. Most of

those men out there are here specifically to watch you dance. Face it, boy—you're smokin' hot.”

Looking at Gabe, Abel smiled. He wished he could stay within these walls and never leave again.

When he was here, thoughts of Kaplan—and Devlin—were pushed to the far reaches of his mind. His
fears over Savannah were soothed and softened. It was his safe haven where he had some semblance
of control over his life. Once he stepped outside those doors—all control was stripped away.

“Ready?” Gabe smacked his ass lightly.
Abel nodded then cocked an eyebrow. “But you're not.” His gaze swept over Gabe's body. He

was shirtless but wore a pair of jeans.

“Oh I'm ready.” Gabe unfastened his pants and shoved them down, kicking them aside, displaying

his shimmering gold g-string that barely contained his sizable member.

“I guess you are.” Abel murmured, unable to resist the recollection of the man buried deep inside

him. Being with Gabe and Cole had been the most mind shattering experience of his life.

“You okay there, little buddy?” Gabe chuckled as he slid his hand into his crotch and adjusted his

package.

Abel blink, then smiled. “Yeah. Just got...distracted there for a moment.”
Resting his arms on Abel's shoulder, he kissed the boy. “It's supposed to be distracting.” he kissed

him again. “let’s go knock their socks off—or get their rocks off—whichever comes first.” Gabe
chuckled.

Abel nodded. “Let’s do it.”

* * * *

Seconds ticked by, evolving to minutes that crept towards the half hour mark. The car had eased

into the parking space, turned off, and he had listened to the soft tick until the engine cooled. His
fingers curled around the steering wheel and had been gripping the whole time. When he finally
released, his knuckles ached.

Devlin stared across the street at the entrance of The Phoenix Club. Men drifted in and out of the

double doors, propped open and monitored by a scantily dressed man collecting admittance fees.
Behind the man there seemed to be a long, dark hallway that sparked with flashes of light from the
main part of the club. Occasionally, Devlin caught a glimpse of bodies in the hall, wrapped up and
backed against the wall. Music pumped out the through the doors, surfing across the street and pulsing
against the side of the car.

You're not seriously going in there . A part of him still insisted there was some mistake. Surely

Abel didn't work here. The boy seemed so...pure and innocent. Like an angel down from heaven. Was
it true that a little bit of devil resided behind that angelic face, those heavenly eyes?

“Just go talk to him already.” he groaned and dropped his head against the back of the seat, staring

at the underside the Sedan's roof. “Quit being such a damn coward.” He tapped the pads of his fingers
against the lower curve of the steering wheel and looked at the club entrance again. He'd never been
in a place like this and didn't really know what to expect. What if men started hitting on him? Some
men could be quite persistent.

And maybe it's just like a regular club, but with just men, he reasoned.
“Fuck.” he ground out tight and shoved open the driver door before he could lose his nerve yet

again. A different anxiety pushed at his gut at the thought of being recognized. But surely no one he
worked with would be here. But then—no one at work would surely expect to find him there either,
even if most knew he was gay. He just wasn't the type to seek his thrills in a place like this.

I'm not here to get my jollies. I just want to speak with Abel.
The man at the entrance looked him over thoroughly and it felt as if his clothes were being

plucked off, one garment at a time. It's just your imagination. The guy flashed a smile that clearly
displayed his approval. “New here?” he asked.

Devlin licked his lips nervously and the man's eyes followed his tongue, which he quickly sucked

back behind his lips. “Uh...yes...I'm just here to—”

The man held up his hand, silencing him, his lips twisting. “No explanations necessary. You won't

be judged.” He waved him in without requiring the fee. “First time's on the house.”

“Oh.” Devlin rubbed his lips together, his heart pounding. “Okay...thank you.”
“Enjoy.” the man winked at him suggestively.
“Yeah.” Devlin rasped and nearly bolted for his car. But his feet carried him through the doors

and into the darkened hallway. Inside, the music was deafening, beating at his skull. How did people
handle such noise for hours on end?

His question was answered the moment he reached the end of the hallway and stopped at the

opening to the main club itself. It took only one look around to understand how all else could fade into
the background as one's attention was instantly magnetized to the young men sifting through the crowd,
bodies exposed just enough to tease and tantalize—and doing a damn good job enhancing it by
taunting the customers with brief direct attention.

Devlin's breath rushed in and out of his lungs statically, causing his chest to hitch. This place

instantly hypnotized the senses. He yelped suddenly when a hand slid up over his ass from behind,
and he jumped a little, hitting the wall with his shoulder then flattening against it with his back. A
sexy brown-haired, hazel-eyed boy stroked at Devlin's chest with his fingertips.

“Hey handsome...haven't seen you before.” he murmured, moving in closer. His slick pants

shimmered in the flashing lights and sucked against his body like a second skin. “How about...” He
fingered the top button of Devlin's shirt then traced a single fingertip up the side of his neck. “...we go
someplace private...” His fingertip followed the curve of Devlin's jaw then slid up his temple. “...and
go for a wild...” his mouth closed in, nearly touching Devlin's lips as he hissed low, “...dirty ride.”

Devlin's throat closed and he tried to swallow. The boy rolled his hips against him, rubbing his

hard bulge on Devlin's tightening crotch. “I, uh...” his voice rasped. “I'm just here...to talk to
someone.”

“Hmm.” The guy bit his lip, disappointed. “Who are you looking to talk to?”
Clearing his throat, Devlin tried to suck back against the wall, but the boy was still pressed up

close to him. “Abel.”

“Abel, huh?” a sigh escaped the boy. “Figures. The little shit is everyone's favorite.” He stepped

back and nodded towards the stage. “You'll have to wait till he's finished.”

“Huh?” Devlin looked past him and every bit of breath ripped from his lungs, eyes widening. Oh

Holy Fuck...his heart shuddered and crashed to a halt then kicked in and hammered his ribs as his
eyes swept over the two bodies on stage. He grabbed the wall for support as a rush of blood shot to
his cock so suddenly he nearly dropped from the violent ache that burst through his crotch.

Abel's body moved in fluid motion; swaying, twisting, curving, rubbing against his dance partner.

It took a moment for Devlin to recognize the glistening, nearly naked body as belonging to Gabe. His
hands played over Abel's skin, at times guiding his slim hips as they swayed and glided around the
stage in perfect sync. Abel pressed his back to the pole and slid down in one smooth motion, his
knees opening, giving full view of his ample crotch. He slid back up, turned and faced Gabe on the
opposite side of the pole as both dropped down, hands gripping the gleaming metal rod.

Dizziness spun around Devlin's head as his eyes grabbed onto Abel's tight ass, not nearly

contained in his blue shorts, as the boy rocked towards the edge of the stage backwards, shaking his
ass for the clamoring men, fists clenched with cash. The second the boy was close enough, bills
shoved up into his shorts and down inside them, hungry, lustful hands getting a good feel of those
sweet, firm cheeks glistening with sweat.

Gabe circled the boy, gathering his own stash of cash in his skimpy gold g-string. Abel turned his

back on Gabe and slid down his body, then up again as he'd done to the pole, rolling his ass against
Gabe's crotch as the man's hands rested on the boy's hips and they moved as one. Abel's hands
stretched up behind him and gripped the back of Gabe's neck, his body arching against the older man,
head pressed back on Gabe's shoulder, eyes closed with a look of ecstasy on his beautiful face.

This is so not fucking fair...that you can do this to me...
Sheer cold, hard jealousy pumped through Devlin's veins when Gabe slid one hand down between

Abel's sweat glossed thighs and massaged his crotch a moment before drawing back. The crowd lost
it. Even from across the room, he noticed the corner of Gabe's mouth twitch and he dipped his head,
whispering something to Abel. A smile touched his lips and vanished, and he slid his hands over
Gabe's then guided them down along his inner thighs then back up around the bulge in his shorts. Abel
slithered against the man's body, back and forth, so smooth, like a craft rocking on the open water, his
perfect ass massaging Gabe's straining cock.

“Fuck.” Devlin choked and wiped a shaky hand over his face to find it slick with sweat. As hard

and breathless as the scene made him—he was also suddenly too aware that he and Abel existed in
two separate worlds. Worlds that could never co-exist.

Tears welled up out of nowhere, locking his throat. I'm sorry, Savannah, but I can't compete

with this. There's no place in his world for someone like me. He cast the boy one last, longing
glance, certain this image of Abel would haunt him for years to come. With sheer physical force, he
pulled his eyes off the kid and turned back towards the entrance. He should have never set foot in this
place.

“Devlin Grant.” The deep, male voice stopped him dead in his tracks. “Shucks, doc, you found us

out.”

Devlin turned slowly and met the man's intense eyes. “Cole.”

Chapter Twenty-Two

Touch Me, Turn Me On

The cold, refreshing water rushed down Abel's throat, the plastic bottle tipped up, contents

emptying in one long drink. He gasped when he came up for air then wiped the back his hand across
his slick brow as he leaned against the counter before the mirror. He laughed and shook his head as
Gabe consumed two small bottles of water, one after the other. “Shit,” he panted. “You were the
bomb.”

Gabe crunched the second empty water bottle in his fist and tossed it in a waste basket. “Fuck,

baby.” he laughed. “It was that sweet little ass of yours that had them in a frenzy.” He smirked. “Not
just them.” He stepped over and grabbed the back of Abel's neck and pulled him into a hard kiss, then
groaned against his lips, “Do you know how bad I wanted to take you right there—on stage?”

“I was...getting the feeling.” Abel grinned. Gabe laughed and stepped back.
“We would have made a shit load more if we had.” he winked.
Abel glanced up when Cole stepped in the door. “That was—Mmp!” Cole sucked air between his

teeth and grinned. “You were both fucking on fire.”

“Did we give you a woody?” Gabe snickered.
Walking over, Cole shoved himself against the man, grinding crotches. “You tell me.” he groaned,

his mouth touching Gabe's lips.

“You better watch it.” Gabe warned low, a dangerous smirk on his lips. “I'm fucking horny right

now.”

“Yeah?” Cole cocked an eyebrow and ground his crotch harder against Gabe. “How horny?”
Shaking his head, Abel laughed softly and grabbed his jeans, stepping into them, zipping and

fastening, then buckling the thin black belt. He pulled on his shirt and cleared his throat. “I'll leave
you two to your...” he shrugged and laughed. “Whatever.”

Cole chuckled and drew back from Gabe. “Hey. Not so fast.” he said. “You got a special request,

in the VIP room.”

Was he serious? “So soon?” Abel groaned. “I'm fucking tired, man.”
Cole shrugged. “Guess you impressed him tonight.”
The first thought that leaped into Abel's mind was Kaplan. Was he looking for more of an

appetizer before he was served the full meal? Fuck. “Can't someone else take my place?”

“Baby, no one can take your place.” Cole winked. “And this was a special request...he wants

you.”

“Fine.” he muttered and moved towards the door as Cole leaned in and whispered something in

Gabe's ear. The man chuckled low but Abel didn't asked what he found so amusing.

He worked his way across the back side of the club, staying out of the main crowd, then slipped

into the small alcove that led up a few steps to the VIP room. The lights were turned low when he
entered. Some men liked bright glaring lights so as not to miss a single detail, whereas others like the
soft, dim lighting that created a more romantic air.

A quick glance at the man's back as he stood in dim light, studying the room, Abel felt a measure

of relief that it wasn't Kaplan. He didn't have to see his face to know that much. Kaplan's very stance
reeked of sinful pride.

Abel went to the stereo. It had preset songs of different beats, depending on the customer's

preference. “What would you like?” Abel asked without facing the man. “Upbeat and fast...slow and
sensual...somewhere in between? You chose what you want.”

Silence hung heavy over the room for a moment, then the man cleared his throat and Abel waited

to punch in the desired song. “I want to talk.”

Abel's mind went numb, his body quickly following. No...he imagined it. That voice...it wasn't...

He couldn't breathe, his air gone from his lungs. He gripped the edge of the stereo stand. Turn around
and see that it isn't him...just someone who sounds like him.

“Abel...” Devlin's soft voice pushed inside his head.
A sudden, unexpected and unexplained bitterness crept up Abel's throat, pulling it closed as it

went. “I asked you...” he whispered tight, thick. “What beat do you want?” Abel turned when he didn't
answer. The man stared at him and Abel was sure he must be hallucinating. Maybe the exertion on
stage had been too much for his brain. “What do you want?”

“To talk.”
“Talk is cheap.” Abel muttered and moved towards the door.
“It doesn't have to be.” Devlin said, a note of desperation in his voice. “I'll pay you to talk to me.”
Able turned back slowly. The look in the man's eyes stabbed holes in his heart. Devlin produced

his wallet and tugged out a wad of bills and dropped them on a nearby stand. What the fuck do you
want with me? You know what I am—what the fuck could you possibly want? Maybe the man wasn't
clear on what his job entailed. His face tightening, tears fighting to rise up, Abel walked over to him.
“I get paid to dance...not talk.”

Devlin looked down at him. “I'm not here for that.”
“Bullshit.” Abel shoved him down on a large cushioned, armless chair. Shock widened Devlin's

eyes as Abel leaned over him, gripping the back of the chair on either side of his head. “Everyone
comes here for that.”

* * * *

The heat of Abel's body coupled with the sudden rush of images of him on stage. Devlin stared up

at his tense face, burning eyes. A flurry of emotions boiled behind those amber orbs. His stiff arms
relaxed a little as he sank down closer, his face just an inch or so from Devlin's, those much longed
for lips skimming across his mouth so close he could feel and smell the boy's breath. Movement in his
pants caused his own breath to stick and puff up his throat. Abel's lips left his mouth behind and
moved across Devlin's cheek, skimming just above the surface of his skin, following an invisible path
to his ear.

“You were watching me on stage.” Abel whispered, his soft lips teasing Devlin's ear. “Weren't

you?” Devlin couldn't answer, his lungs empty. Abel's fingertips trailed feather-light down the side of
his neck, causing a fierce shiver to race through his body and fuel his arousal. “You were wishing I
was dancing just for you.” Yes! God fucking yes! “It got you hard. So...fucking...hard. Bet you wished
you could just take me somewhere and just fuck me every which way, huh?”

Coldness was creeping into Abel's tone, bringing Devlin back to his senses a bit. “Abel...I

didn't...”

“Liar.” The boy's lips brushed his ear as hot breath hissed into his hair. “It's in your eyes right

now...you want me to take my clothes off...shake my ass for you...get you all hot and horny.”

Devlin was sweating. How could he deny what the boy was saying when he was sitting there with

a raging hard-on as the kid was speaking. He did want all that...and so much more. But the words he'd
come here to say were dust in the wind. He didn't recognize this Abel as the Abel that visited his sick
sister nearly every day, who had cried when he'd learned how dire her situation was, who repeatedly
cast him those shy, discreet looks that totally floored him.

No, that boy was nowhere to be found. And yet, somehow, was right here, embodied in this bold

young man. Is this what the club did for him? Cut him loose from the pain of his past and allowed him
the freedom to touch and be touched without fear of being hurt?

“I do...want all that.” Devlin admitted aloud, voice shaking. “But...I want so much more as

well...” He tentatively touched Abel's hips, testing his allowance. “I want you...all of you...not just
your body.”

Abel trembled beneath his touch. His head drew back and once more, his lips lingered so close to

Devlin's mouth he wanted to scream out his plea for just one kiss. “I don't believe you.” his
whispered words dropped onto Devlin's lips in hot puffs of breath, the boy's amber eyes staring into
his.

Gripping his hips ever so slightly, Devlin murmured, “Yes you do.”
Their eyes held for a long moment, then Abel straightened up slowly and stepped back. Devlin

fought the need to grip tighter and keep the boy right there, but his hands fell away. He felt like he was
caught in some strange surreal dream. How could this be the same boy from the hospital?

He watched Abel back away and was certain he would flee, reverting back to the scared, abused

boy terrified of his emotions. But rather than go to the door, he walked to the stereo, punched a button,
and in seconds, a song with a smooth, moderate beat began to pour out.

A funny sizzling tickle spiraled down from Devlin's chest, cutting a path through his stomach, and

lower still to race down the length of his cock.

Abel didn't speak when he faced Devlin and walked back over to the chair. Using his legs, he

slowly knocked Devlin's knees apart and stepped in between. Very slow and gradual, his body began
to move with the music, eyes firm on Devlin's face. His hands caressed his own chest, stomach,
rubbing down over his hips, gliding across his crotch then slipping up under the hem of his shirt,
awarding Devlin glimpses of his hard stomach.

Fuck. Devlin's hands rested on his knees, his fingers gouging through his pants, eyes raking over

Abel's swaying body as the boy turned in a slow circle, lifting his shirt, higher and higher. His back
was to Devlin and his ass swayed and dipped as he smoothly peeled the shirt up over his head and
tossed it away. He came back around, hands rising up and locking behind his neck as he inched in
closer, rolling his hips in Devlin's face, the fly of his jeans pushing out from the strain of hard flesh
underneath.

Hands unlocking, Abel took hold of Devlin's hands and placed them on his body. Devlin

shuddered and ran his middle finger up through the center of Abel's chest then dragged all his fingers
back down across the surface of his hot skin. He sat forward a little and accepted the freedom Abel
was allowing him, not willing to waste one moment of it as he caressed up the boy's ribcage, around
to his back, fingertips pressing in gently and sliding down his spine to the small of his back.

Abel slid his hands up Devlin's arms to his shoulders, rubbing slowly, sensually all around his

neck and upper back, leaning in to tantalize Devlin with that elusive kiss that never quite made
contact. When he drew back without delivering, Devlin whimpered—but forgave him in a hurry when
Abel began to strategically unbuckle his belt.

Leaning back against the thick, soft chair, Devlin watched as the boy made a work of art out of the

simple act of unbuckling a belt and unfastening his pants. Fuck, baby, I might die in this chair

tonight. Such suspicions were heightened when Abel whipped his belt loose of the loops in a single
jerk and wrapped it around the back of Devlin's neck, using the thin belt to pull him forward, up close
to his swaying body. Shit! Devlin reached for his hips where the waistband of the boy's jeans had
loosened and slid down just enough to reveal those sinfully sexy blue shorts he'd worn on stage.

His fingertips brushed the elastic band of the shorts when he was suddenly thrust back against the

chair, the belt laced down across his shoulders on each side, pinning him. Abel gripped the ends of
the belt, holding him in place, his face dipping and gliding all around Devlin's head, lips skimming
over the very tips of his hair, then moving down his neck and all across his face, breathing him in.

Just fucking bury me now, Devlin thought with an agonized whimper as his heart rate spiked to

the heavens. 'Cause I'm already dead.

Chapter Twenty-Three

Touched By An Angel

Just kiss him already...put yourself and him out of misery.
But Abel wasn't ready yet to take it to that level of personal. His chest dipped in, back bending

smoothly then curling out again like a snake as his lips explored the bare surface of Devlin's heated
skin. A trace scent of musk cologne stimulated his senses—as well as other things. Fuck, baby, you
smell so good.

All the want that Abel had been suppressing during his encounters with Devlin at the hospital was

bubbling to the surface. He suddenly felt like a kid turned loose in a candy store and told to go wild.
All restraints thrown off in one shot. What were the odds that Devlin would figure out where he
worked—and then come here? Why hadn't he run the other way? It was what Abel had expected of
the man. But Devlin Grant was proving to be a man he'd do well not to underestimate.

Devlin tipped his head back as Abel's lips skimmed his throat, his Adam's apple bobbing a little

as he tried to swallow. Abel salivated for a taste of that throat, but for now chose to suffer in order to
torture the man under his spell.

Releasing the belt, Abel pulled back, straightening, the music pulsing through his veins, charging

his brain and commanding his body fall into rhythm. Devlin's brow glistened with sweat, his blue
eyes burning hot. The jeans slid down beneath the force of his thumbs, hips rocking gently, turning his
body. He teased Devlin, taking his time working the pants down over his ass, giving him glimpses
then covering himself again. When soft curses puffed off the man's lips on static breath, Abel took
mercy and slowly worked the jeans off his ass, giving Devlin full view of his tight cheeks pouring out
beneath the skimpy blue shorts.

“Oh fuck...” the man whimpered and his fingertips grazed the smooth mounds as Abel faced him

once more. He slowly pushed his jeans lower down to his ankles as he bent over, his mouth brushing
past Devlin's crotch. As he stepped out of the jeans, his hands pressed into the soft seat cushion on
either side of Devlin's hips as his body slunk forward, flowing up over Devlin's crotch and on up his
body, his hips dipping, the swell in his shorts barely grazing the man's bulge.

“You're fucking killing me...” he breathed out so low it was barely audible. Abel lightly touched

his lips to the tendon in Devlin's neck, blowing softly against the man's damp skin. The moan rising up
in him broke into a whimpered gasp when Abel pushed his hips in and softly ground his crotch against
Devlin's. The man's fingertips grazed up the sides of Abel's back and he trembled, savoring the guy's
touch. His mouth brushed over Devlin's earlobe, his teeth raking lightly across the soft skin. “Fuck...”
Devlin whimpered again, his hands rubbing down Abel's hips, guiding him in more firmly between
his thighs, pushing their throbbing members together with greater force.

Abel rolled his hips, rubbing, massaging, feeling the wetness in his shorts and certain Devlin's

must be as wet. His fingers went to the front of Devlin's pants and popped them open, dragging the
zipper down slowly. The man's hips raised up a bit when Abel tugged at the waistband of his pants
then slipped them underneath him, dragging them off Devlin's legs.

He gripped the man's knees and dipped his face into his crotch, barely allowing his lips to touch

the wetness seeping from his cock head into the cotton fabric. Devlin's hips moved and rocked slowly
as Abel's mouth skimmed around the surface of his confined cock. Devlin touched his hair, fingers

dipping into his damp, dark blond strands tentatively, taking nothing for granted and clearly cherishing
each tiny freedom Abel awarded him.

Dammit, baby, I want to be with you so bad. Abel closed his eyes and let his lips wander

upward. His fingers following close behind, plucking loose the buttons of Devlin's shirt until his chest
and stomach were exposed. The man's hands were on his body again, gliding around the curve of his
hips then further back, slowly slipping down over his ass. His chest shuddered and his forehead
dropped against Devlin's collarbone—his first indication he wasn't truly in total control.

God, baby, your hands feel so fucking good. Tears burned at the reality that, once outside the

club, Devlin's touch would again incite panic, force him to run from the man when all he wanted was
to fall deeper and deeper into him.

* * * *

Please, baby, just give in and make love to me.
Abel's hot brow burned into Devlin's throat. The boy trembled against him as Devlin softly, gently

massaged his firm ass cheeks, holding him against his crotch as both their hips rolled against one
another. Abel's hot breath puffed from his lips, his body beginning to strain as he pushed harder
against Devlin's imprisoned cock.

“Fuck, baby...” Devlin shuddered and pressed his lips to the boy's hair. “Please...”
Lifting up off him, Abel turned and sat his beautiful ass on Devlin's crotch, gripped his legs and

began to work his hips in slow circles, his lean, supple body curving and swaying with the movement,
head tilted back, soft moans drifting up his throat and out through his parted lips.

“Oh my god...” Devlin choked on a hard whimper and his head fell back against the chair. His

hands slid around Abel's hips, holding firm as he began to rock and roll to his rhythm, his hard cock
pushing against his briefs and working between Abel's cheeks. The boy's body shook with pleasure
and he pushed down against Devlin's crotch, forcing him deeper. An agonized cry wrenched quietly
from Devlin and his arms went around Abel's waist, holding the boy tighter as he thrust his hips up
against his sweet ass. “Baby, I swear...I can't fucking take anymore—”

Abel shifted quickly and straddled him, grabbing his face and kissing him with enough passion to

blow his heart apart. Devlin had him in his arms again, squeezing tight, fingers gripping, pressing
hard into his slick back, terrified of letting go...for fear his angel would fly away.

A hard gasp erupted from Abel when he broke the kiss, his hands shoving into Devlin's hair, his

warm, soft lips kissing every inch of Devlin's face then down his throat. He slid off Devlin's lap and
dropped to his knees between Devlin's legs, his face rubbing down the center of his chest, leaving a
damp trail of tears in its wake.

The boy's hands shook as he tugged down the front of Devlin's briefs, freeing his cock. Then

warm hands encased his hard flesh, stroking, twisting, squeezing. “Uhh!” Devlin's hips thrust up,
shoving his cock through Abel's perfect hands. “Fuck...baby...Yes!”

A scream swelled when the boy's mouth touched his shaft, licking, sucking, kissing then engulfing

all of him. “Fuck!” He held the boy's head, sliding his cock in and out of his sweet, hot mouth, body
shaking. “Oh fuck, Abel...oh god...baby, yes...yes...oh god, please...please don't stop...”

A soft moan rolled up Abel's throat. His eyes were closed and tears dampened his cheeks.

Devlin's heart beat out of control and hurt like hell. A sliver of fear stabbed him. He gripped Abel's
arms and drew him up his body, kissing him deep. “Please don't cry, baby. ” he kissed him again.
“I'll never hurt you.” He stroked his face and dropped a series of light kisses on the boy's lips.

“Never...never, baby.”

* * * *

How did he tell the man the tears weren't brought on by past memories...but future fears? That he

never wanted this moment to end, never wanted Devlin to walk out of the club, knowing everything
would go back to how it was before? And how could he tell him that in just a few days...he would be
selling his body to Kaplan?

A fit of desperation took him over and he hurriedly shoved his shorts down, kicking them loose

from his feet. Devlin quickly removed his own then pulled Abel back onto his lap. Abel shoved his
brow against Devlin's forehead, cupping his face, lips trembling against the man's mouth. “Please fuck
me...I just want it to be you...” he kissed him then gasped. “Only you.”

Devlin's strong hands squeezed Abel's ass cheeks and spread him open, lifting his hips and

probing Abel's tight entrance with the wet tip of his stiff cock. Abel slid his arms around the man's
neck and held him tight as he pushed down on him, a cry wrenching up his throat. He shoved down
harder as Devlin pushed up with his hips, sinking deeper inside him.

“Fuck.” Abel choked and squeezed his neck more tightly, his face pressed into his hot skin. “Oh

god...Devlin...yes...Uuuuhhhh!”

“Oh fuck, Abel...” Devlin gasped hard, his arms wrapping around his waist and pulling him

tighter against his body as he began to thrust into him. “Oh my god, baby...your body is heavenly...you
feel so incredible.”

Abel moaned loud and rocked his hips, working his ass on the man's hard cock, rotating in a

smooth, circular motion until Devlin was nearly shedding tears of ecstasy. Abel panted against his
neck, his body starving for the man, not knowing if this was the last he would ever taste of Devlin
Grant's love. He moved with more urgency, fucking him harder, with more desperation, wanting it to
never end yet already feeling the tightness gripping his balls.

“Fuck me.” he whispered shakily. “Fuck me so good, baby.”
Devlin squeezed him in his arms then shifted their position without pulling out of Abel, placing

the boy in the chair and himself on his knees. He locked Abel in his arms, kissed him with passion
and fucked him hard.

“Fuck!” Abel cried, curling his legs around Devlin's waist and fucking in rhythm with the man.

“Oh fuck! Yes! Do it, baby! Do it to me!”

Groans and grunts burst from Devlin, then he pulled back suddenly. “Kneel in the chair, baby.” he

gasped and Abel did as he asked, resting his arms over the thick cushion of the back of the chair as
Devlin stood and pushed his cock back inside him.

“Fuck.” Abel's face pinched tight, throat squeezing. “Yes...”
Devlin grabbed his hips and thrust his cock in deep and hard. “Oh fuck yes...baby...oh my

god...Ahhh fuck!” He placed one foot up on the seat of the chair and drove himself in a little deeper.
Abel clawed the soft cushion panting hard, sharp—uh-uh-uh's—erupting up his throat.

Reaching under, Devlin took Abel's stiff cock in hand and began to stroke him, his body leaning

over the young man, mouth touching down on the nape of his neck. “Fuck, baby, yes...oh god, Abel...I
can't wait...I'm gonna cum, baby...”

His hand squeezed Abel's cock and pumped him with more urgency. Abel's balls tightened and

pulled against his body. “Fuuuck!!” he screamed—and came hard, creamy fluid squirting with force
against the back of the chair.

“Oh fuck...fuck...Fuck!” A strangle cry wrenched up Devlin's throat and he fucked Abel in sheer

desperation, bursting inside him, filling the boy with his hot seed. “Oh my god!” he ground out
between clenched teeth, thrusting erratically, emptying the last of himself. He clung to Abel, arms
hugging his chest, kisses falling across the boy's wet shoulders and back. “Oh baby, please don't give
this to me...then take it away.” He kissed between his shoulder blades then slowly down his spine,
sucking the wetness from his skin, licking slowly back up to his neck. “Be mine forever...that's all I
ask.”

Abel laid his forehead against his arms and fought the tears.
In my heart...I'll be yours forever...please forgive me for what I'm about to do.

Chapter Twenty-Four

Not Your Enemy

The strength of his pulse, forceful thump of his heart against his ribs, failed to ease off as Devlin

slowly dressed, his eyes never leaving Abel. A quiet, inward whimper trembled his chest when the
boy's jeans pulled up, concealing his perfect ass.

Now that their heightened passions, suppressed hungers, had been dealt with...Abel seemed to

revert back to the boy Devlin found more recognizable. But with that boy, came some of the
uncertainties as well. He was beginning to develop a look behind those lovely amber eyes that cried
with a shred of panic—What did I do?

Devlin moved towards him, unwilling to let him withdrew from this amazing thing that had just

happened between them. More than amazing—colossal. From where Devlin stood, it had been a pure
gold miracle. Not for one moment had he imagined that his decision to come here and talk to Abel—
would result in this. It was more than he would have even dared to dream could happen.

“Does this mean...” he stepped up behind Abel and rested his hands on the boy's arms, rubbing

softly. His skin was still hot to the touch, and lightly tacky from sweat. That alone caused Devlin's
body to spark and reignite. “...that we can have coffee again...or even lunch?” He didn't want to push,
regardless of what just took place. Abel clearly viewed the world inside the club walls as some form
of alternate universe...possibly a refuge. He felt safe here, whereas outside these walls he obviously
did not. Just because he let himself take liberties here on the inside—it didn't necessarily mean
anything would change out there.

The boy didn't answer, but Devlin felt his chest rise and fall a bit more quickly. He closed his

eyes and touched his lips to Abel's damp hair. “I don't know what happened to you in the past.” he
lied softly. “But I feel that it was bad...really bad. If someone hurt you, betrayed you, caused you harm
in any way...they're gone now.” His hands slid down Abel's arms, his fingers intertwining with the
boy's. He kissed his shoulder. “I'm not them, baby...I'm not your enemy.”

Abel squeezed his fingers around Devlin's hands, then turned and faced him, touching his

fingertips to the man's stomach. “I know. You're a good man...” the corner of his mouth twitched just a
little—a ghost of a smile—but it was enough for relief to surge through him. “At least that's what
Savannah keeps telling me.”

A soft smile curved across Devlin's face. “Bless that child.” he whispered and kissed the boy's

heavenly lips.

Moaning, Abel squeezed Devlin's waist, extending the kiss, eyes partially closed but still looking

at him from beneath thick blond lashes, causing Devlin's pulse to surge and sputter. He drew back
enough to end the kiss but not so much that his mouth abandoned the man's lips. “Yes.” his soft
whisper caressed Devlin's senses as well as his lips. “I'll have coffee with you.”

Devlin trembled. Thank you, God.

* * * *

The two men appeared a bit flushed in the cheeks, faces somewhat glossy, when Abel stepped

into the doorway of the dressing room, crossed his arms loosely over his chest and leaned against the

door frame.

“Hey.” A wry smile split Cole's lips, his breath just a bit quick. No surprise what had been going

on in there. “took you long enough. What happened...you fall in love?” Gabe chuckled, but his soft
blue eyes glowed with an inner happiness for Abel. Of course Cole would have clued him in.

Abel stared at Cole, eyes slightly narrowed. But still the smile played at the edges of his mouth.

“Fuck you.” He rolled his eyes, ducked his head and laughed softly as both men grinned. Stepping
inside, he went to Cole and hugged him tight. “Bet you think you're just some kind of clever
motherfucker, don't you?”

“I have my moments.” Cole chuckled softly and kissed the boy's neck. “And you're welcome.” He

drew back, an amused look on his face. “The man looked a tad bit scared shitless when he saw you
on stage. Not to mention hard as that fucking steel pole you were assaulting.”

“I know I was wishing you'd assault me like you did that pole.” Gabe smirked, then clucked his

tongue. “Oh wait—you did.”

Abel punched his arm and laughed. “Whatever.”
“He was two seconds from running scared.” Cole chuckled. “But I caught him. He still made an

effort to flee...but I convinced him to stay and...talk to you.” He cocked an eyebrow. “So...get
everything talked out?”

Another roll of his eyes and blatant smile incited laughter in the two men.
“Now please tell me you got him so hot he begged for it.” Gabe smiled darkly. The man loved to

torture and tease.

“Ummm...” Abel pressed his lips tight and smiled.
“Ah.” Gabe touched his hand delicately to his chest and feigned tears as he laid his head on

Cole's shoulder. “Our baby boy is becoming a man.” he covered his mouth. “I'm so proud.”

“Fuck.” Cole laughed and shoved the man's head away.
Gabe grinned and grabbed Abel's hands and pulled the boy against him. “Does this mean we don't

get to sleep with you anymore?”

Until that instant, Abel hadn't considered it. Over the past few days, he'd gotten used to having

both men in his bed when he fell asleep at night. And even though they hadn't done anything but sleep
the last couple nights—he wasn't so naïve to think it would stay that way. He'd already known that
another night or two with them...and things would again get extremely hot under the sheets.

So what now? What, exactly, would his and Devlin's relationship be like now? Could he even be

mildly intimate with the man outside the club walls? And what about Kaplan? Even if Devlin could
handle Abel's job at the club—his job with Horatio Kaplan was a whole different issue. And one that
dashed any hopes of truly being with Devlin.

Why did you say you would go out with him again? Why lift him up—just to slam him down?

You should have ended it and sent him on his way.

Abel pulled back from Gabe, his smile waning.
“Hey.” Gabe held onto his hands. “I was just playing, babe. You don't have to feel bad about not

wanting us in your bed when you have a man of your own.”

His words pushed a fiery ball of pain through the surface of Abel's heart.
I don't have a man of my own.
“I know.” Abel forced a smile that he was sure fooled neither man. “It isn't that. I'm just...tired.”
“That's understandable.” Cole smiled, but concern shadowed his eyes. He stepped over and

kissed Abel's head. “But it's really okay...if you don't want us in your bed, baby.” He touched his
forehead to Abel's hair and murmured, “Don't think even the good doctor would understand that part

of our relationship...or approve.”

Abel nodded and leaned against Gabe, laying his cheek against his shoulder. “I like him...a lot.”

his throat tightened. “But I don't trust anything the world out there tries to hand me.”

Cole rubbed his back softly and kissed his hair. “Maybe,” he whispered. “It's time you start

trusting it.”

Eyes closing, Abel swallowed the tears that tried to well up. His advice was sound—but he didn't

know about Abel's deal with the devil.

Hope of a relationship with Devlin—was a mere illusion.
Then why are you so excited to see him again?

* * * *

The drive home was a blur. It was a wonder he hadn't gotten into a traffic accident. His recent

activities at the club replayed on a loop in his head, his body feeling it all over again—every tease,
every taunt, then the touching, kissing, holding, feeling. Abel's hot breath puffing against his skin, his
lips. The fever in the boy's body as their passion ebbed and swelled, crashing in on them. The velvet
soft tightness of Abel's inner caverns, wrapping Devlin's hardness in heavenly heat, squeezing,
stroking, urging him in deeper and deeper.

“Fuck.” Devlin shivered, his skin prickling, scalp tingling...crotch pulsing. He wiped a quick,

shaky hand over his face as he sat behind the wheel, parked in front of his house. An agonized groan
dragged up his throat. He could still feel Abel's sweet, soft ass cheeks pressing down snug against his
lap—rolling, rocking, swaying—shoving Devlin to the bare edges of insanity. And to this moment, he
continued to teeter over that abyss, his mind reeling, throwing him off balance.

The house sat dark and silent before him. Why the fuck didn't you just bring him home with you?

At least extend the invitation? The boy had agreed to coffee—he didn't want to push his luck. He had
no idea what to expect now. Outside the club...would Abel still be hands off? Could he even be
around him and not touch him, after tonight? Fuck, he wanted the kid in his bed every damn night from
now until—fucking forever. He wanted to fall asleep in those arms, that warm body snuggling up to
him, waking up every morning to the lips of an angel, gazing into those eyes—the very windows to
heaven.

“One step at a time.” he murmured. “Just give the boy a chance to understand he can trust you.

Don't rush him.” Tonight seemed like one hell of a rush in itself—but a rush instigated by Abel. So
that was a good thing. The boy desired to be with him—he'd proven that a short while ago. He just
needed to give him time to get comfortable outside his safe zone. And when he did, Devlin had no
doubt Abel would come to his bed and never leave.

Until then, he turned his right hand palm up and sighed. It's you and me, pal.

Chapter Twenty-Five

Fleeting Glimpse Of Freedom

“Hey beautiful girl.” Abel flashed a grin as he came through the door, hands behind his back.
Savannah's eyes brightened and she scooted up in bed. “Abel. I thought you weren't gonna be here

till later.”

“Well,” Abel smiled wryly. “I wasn't going to, but I got you something and wanted to give it to

you now.”

Savannah's interest was piqued. “What?”
“First.” he withdrew one hand and handed her a single pink rose. “For the fairest maiden in the

land.”

Savannah giggled and took the rose, touching the soft petals to her nose. “I love pink roses.

They're my favorite.”

“I know.” Abel winked. “And second...” He brought out his other hand, which held a large,

square package encased in holiday wrapping. “Merry Christmas.”

Savannah gave him a sweet, exasperated look. “It isn't Christmas, silly.”
“It isn't?” he sighed and shook his head. “Well, damn. Guess I'll just have to take it back.”
“No!” Savannah laughed and reached out her hand. “Gimme! Gimme!”
Abel narrowed his eyes. “All right...I suppose.” he started to hand it to her then pulled it back and

held up a finger. “But this counts towards real Christmas.” he smirked.

Savannah growled and laughed again. “Stop teasing me. Give it.”
Sitting on the edge of the bed, Able placed the package in her hands and smiled. “Hope you like

it.”

Like a little kid on the real Christmas morning, Savannah tore off the paper. Abel watched her,

thankful she had enough spirit alive inside that she could still get excited about little things like
receiving an unexpected gift. His lips tightened and he ducked his head quick to hide the sudden tears.
When she worked her way into the box, he cleared his throat, blinked quickly and raised his head.

“No...” she gasped when she pulled open the flaps of the box. Her eyes grabbed Abel's.

“Seriously?”

He smiled. “Yep.” To look at her just then, one would never know she was anything but a healthy,

vibrant sixteen-year-old with a long, bright future laid out before her. The laws of life were so fucked
up.

With tentative hands, she reached inside and lifted out the expensive camera. Her hands caressed

the sleek black surface, studying every little feature. “Oh my god, Abel.” when she looked at him
again, a sheen of tears shimmered in her green eyes.

He blinked again at the sting in his own and nudged the box. “There's more.”
“More?” She set the camera beside her and pulled the box closer then smiled as she took out a

large animal photography book and slowly opened it, gazing at the full color photos of various wild
animals from around the world.

For as long as he could remember, she had been fascinated with taking pictures—and animals.

While still at home with their parents, the only thing that could bring a smile to her face was the
animal books Abel used to borrow from the library. Once, he had gathered change and collected soda

bottles and even some of his parents' beer cans to turn in for the deposit, saving almost two months
just to buy her a disposable camera for her birthday.

He had come up short at the checkout and started to cry when he realized he wouldn't be able to

get it for her—it wasn't as if she would be getting anything from their parents. When the woman
behind the checkout stand dug into her own purse and paid the extra, that was the moment Abel began
to believe in real live angels.

“Do you like it?” he swallowed tight, and smiled—then grunted when she suddenly threw her

arms around his neck and hugged him with as much strength as she possessed. His arms went around
her and he held her tight, eyes closed as he pressed his face into her hair, his heart breaking a
thousand times over.

“I love it.” she choked, then drew back. “What, are you crazy? You knew I would.”
“Well.” he shrugged with nonchalance. “I was hoping.” He laughed softly when she rolled her

eyes.

“How did you...” She picked up the camera again. “Did it...cost a lot?”
He groaned and leaned in, kissing her brow. “Stop worrying about money, silly girl. Just enjoy.”
“But...”
“Remember my early bonus?” he asked, lifting an eyebrow. She nodded. “Well...I thought you

deserved something special out of that.”

“What about you?” she wondered. “Did you get yourself something too?”
He smiled as last night with Devlin played through his mind. “No worries...I got something

special too.” and it didn't cost a cent.

“Good.” she murmured as her attention returned to the camera. “You deserve it too.” She glanced

at him as his gaze lingered distantly on the floor, a smile touching his lips. “You're happy today.” she
smiled and he focused, meeting her eyes. “I'm glad. I don't like it when you're sad.”

“I don't either.” he said softly.
Her eyes narrowed a little. “Why are you so happy?” she smiled. “Did something good happen?”
He shrugged. “Maybe.”
“What?”
He shook his head and laughed softly. “Just play with your camera, nosey.”

* * * *

When the door pushed open before him and he saw Abel sitting on his sister's bed, Devlin's knees

went weak so suddenly he nearly fell on his face. He tried to grasp control before the sight of the boy
sent an electric shock straight to his crotch—but too late. His breath quickened and he swore he felt
his cheeks flush with heat. What are you—thirteen? Composure, man!

He cleared his throat and Savannah looked up, smiling big. “Dr. Grant!”
Tension stiffened Abel's back, but he couldn't be sure if it was good tension, or bad tension.

“Hey.” he smiled, surprised that he managed to keep his voice level. “What is this? Christmas
morning?” Guess I got my gift early, he groaned silently.

When he approached the opposite side of the bed, he cast a sideways glance at Abel who picked

nervously at the blanket. Are you getting ready to bolt? he wondered with a stab of dread. But the
boy's tension didn't give off a bad vibe—and he made no move to flee the room.

“Sort of.” Savannah laughed softly and held up a nice camera. “Check out what Abel bought me?

Isn't it awesome?”

“Wow.” Devlin nodded, smiling. “Awesome indeed.” he looked at the girl conspiratorial. “Does

this mean he's really Santa?” he winked. “Maybe I should write out a list.”

Savannah laughed. Devlin chuckled and glanced at Abel as the boy raised eyes and shot him a

quick—You already received a package from me —look. Abel's lips twitched with that ghostly smile
that packed enough punch to lay Devlin out cold—and incite a ferocious erection. Thank heavens for
loose lab coats.

The sudden quiet whir of the camera turning on yanked Devlin's mind back where it should be.

Savannah looked at the glowing digital display window, directing the camera around the room. When
it passed over Abel, she snapped a picture and grinned.

“Hey.” Abel held up a hand, shielding his face. “Don't want to break it first thing off, do you?”
As if, Devlin shook his head, amused. Baby, you're fucking beautiful!
Her words mirroring Devlin's thoughts—almost—Savannah clucked her tongue. “Oh hush, you're

cute.” She smiled sweetly at Devlin. “Isn't he cute?”

The pinkish hue that flushed Abel's cheeks was just too damn much. Devlin was nearly crippled

by the ache that snapped through his crotch and shot straight up into his heart. “Oh honey...he's plum
beautiful.”

Savannah giggled and smirked at Abel. “See? You're a hottie. So quit hiding.”
“Shit.” Abel ducked his head and looked away from both her and Devlin, laughing softly.
“In fact...” she said slowly, as if she just got a bright idea. “Go stand by Dr. Grant so I can take a

picture of you both.”

Devlin liked this girl. She was definitely in his corner.
“Maybe,” Abel raised his head. “Dr. Grant doesn't want his picture taken, you ever think of that?”
Savannah looked at Devlin. “Can I take your picture?”
“Sure.” he smiled wryly. “I mean, I know I'm cute.” he winked.
“Yes you are.” she grinned and aimed the camera at him, snapping the button. She lowered it and

looked at Abel. “Okay, now one of you two together.”

Devlin sighed. “Might as well do it.” he mused. “Don't look like she's going to give up the idea.”
“Nope.” Savannah shook her head.
Abel groaned. “What're you two—in cahoots?”
“We'll never tell.” Savannah grinned mischievously. Devlin chucked, waiting to see if the boy

would actually do as she asked. He wasn't sure how much control he truly had, and guessed he would
find out if Abel got close to him.

Abel stood up slowly, another groan pushing out of him—and Devlin's heart catapulted into his

throat, then began to thump hard enough to choke him as the boy walked around the end of the bed,
hesitated then came to stand beside Devlin. Ah shit...control weakening. He clasped his hands behind
his back, squeezing his hands together to prevent them from touching Abel.

Shaking her head, Savannah looked up from the display screen. “Come on, relax. You guys are

stiff as boards.”

Devlin bit his lip to keep the laugh from bursting out. You got that right.
Abel cleared his throat and shifted, and Devlin knew then and there he wasn't the only one stiff as

a board. Loosening his hands, Devlin prayed he wasn't making a mistake, then slid his arm across
Abel's shoulder.

“Better.” Savannah smiled, dropping her eyes to the screen. “Now smile, jeez.”
Both of them chuckled and Devlin raised his hand behind Abel and flashed the Peace sign with his

fingers above Abel's head, grinning. Savannah laughed and took the picture.

Abel frowned and turned, barely missing it as Devlin quickly lowered his hand and gave him an

innocent look. Abel eyed him suspiciously and slid a slow hand through his dark blond hair. Fuck,
baby, Devlin held his eyes for a moment, recalling how wonder those strands felt between his fingers
as the boy had knelt between his legs and...

This time it was Devlin's cheeks that warmed. The hesitant, knowing smile that slid across Abel's

lips then hid again couldn't have stimulated Devlin more if the boy had reached out and grabbed his
crotch with his hand. He cleared his throat as it suddenly thickened with want for the kid.
“So...coffee?” he smiled, his eyes burning, body wishing to share so much more than a mere cup of
coffee with the boy. “Say...noon...at the coffee shop?”

The heat in Devlin mirrored in Abel's gaze. “Okay.” he said quietly, the slight rasp to his voice

raking down over Devlin's aching crotch.

Oh fuck, baby, why can't we rush some more? A half a night, and one morning without you is

too much for my hand—it doesn't have the stamina to deal with my need for you.

* * * *

Why are you playing with him? Just cut him loose—for his own sake.
The reality of his situation couldn't seem to crush the sudden rush of excitement he'd felt when

Devlin had walked into the hospital room—or the same rush he felt now, sitting at the table watching
the man walk towards him. Like a kid testing how close he could move his hand to a flame before it
burned him, Abel felt himself keep reaching for Devlin, knowing he couldn't actually grab hold
without getting scalded, yet still seeing how close he could get.

“Am I late?” Devlin asked, sliding into the booth seat across from him.
“No.” Abel smiled. “I was...early.”
“Guess I could take that as a good sign.” the man's lips curved and twisted enticingly. He

wondered if the panic would rise—if he stole just one kiss. Gazing at the doctor's mouth, he couldn't
imagine those lips inciting anything but arousal. Still...he was afraid to test it.

“You could.” Abel nodded then glanced away and smiled.
Devlin seemed quite pleased by his reply. “Then, indeed, I will.” The waitress came to the table

and took their order, then left again. Only after she brought the coffee back, did Devlin drop the small
talk. “There is something specific I wanted to talk to you about.” he sipped his drink then licked his
lips. Because his tone was serious, Abel tried not to be distracted by the man's tongue sliding across
his lower lip—but it was a struggle.

“What?” Once Devlin's tongue slipped back inside his mouth and Abel could think straight again,

a slight unease pinched his gut. Was there more bad news about Savannah's condition?

Drawing a breath, Devlin released it slow and looked at Abel. “I hope you will consider what I'm

about to say.” he twisted his cup then lifted it to his lips, took another drink then set it down. “My
brother...his whole life was devoted to helping kids, mostly through outreach centers, but also various
other programs and such. He...” Devlin's lips tightened, pain shadowing his eyes as he glanced down
at his cup. When he looked up again, tears were pooling. “He was a good man. The best.”

“Was?” Abel murmured, his throat knotting as he watched the anguish in Devlin emanate on his

face.

“He's...gone.” He didn't have to specify that gone meant dead. The heartbreak in his eyes told all.
“I'm sorry.” Abel whispered.
Devlin cleared his throat. “Thank you.” he released another suppressed breath. “I didn't know

until after he was gone that...he'd taken out a sizable life insurance policy on himself and listed me as
the beneficiary. He wanted to make sure I would have enough to pay for college and med school.” he
smiled sadly. “He believed in me more than anyone.”

Sipping his coffee, Abel just let the man talk.
“I know my brother.” he grasped Abel's gaze gently. “He would be the first to help a kid in need.

He loved kids. I think he spent more time around the kids he was helping than he did adults.” Devlin
sighed, lips tightening, then relaxing. “I think—I know—he would understand if I...donated a portion
of the insurance money to help pay for Savannah's care.”

For a fleeting moment—Abel's world slid to a stop, rocking quietly on its axis as he just stared at

the man, in shock. With every fiber of his being, he wanted to jump at the opportunity. Another option
meant...he could tell Kaplan for real to go fuck himself. He wouldn't have to...

Tears were there before he could stop them. Could it be this simple? Was it possible that, after all

this time, God finally noticed what he was going through—and gave a shit? He bit his lip, throat
knotting as he fought the need to dive across the table and throw himself in the man's arms, and kiss
him so long and deep they both passed out from lack of oxygen. But he held his ground, terrified to
believe he could actually accept the offer.

“I...” his throat worked and he didn't bother trying to conceal his tears—there were too many.

“Devlin...I don't know what to...say.” Say yes! This is a life preserver being tossed to you. Just grab
on—you don't have to drown. “How can I...”

Devlin's hand covered his, his fingers slipping into Abel's palm, holding securely, filling him with

a sense of love and safety he'd never experienced outside the club. “Say yes, Abel.” he murmured,
squeezing his hand gently. “It doesn't have to be complicated. It's a simple offer. It isn't me saying I
don't think you can take care of Savannah—I know you can. It's just me...” his voice strained with
emotion. “It's just me asking you to let me help.”

Tears slid down Abel's face as he ducked his head and cried softly. Was this really happening?

No more Kaplan? Was his longing to be in a real relationship with Devlin suddenly more than a
bittersweet dream?

Oh God, please don't be fucking with me...I can't take anymore.

* * * *

Devlin drew Abel's hand to his lips and kissed it softly then reached across and slid his thumb

across the boy's cheek, wiping at the tears. “It's okay, baby.” he whispered. “You don't have to do this
alone. Let me help you.”

The boy choked on a cry and his hand covered Devlin's as he turned his face into his palm. It

seemed a literal physical weight lifted off Abel's shoulders right before Devlin's eyes. Abel released
his hand and grabbed a couple napkins, wiping his face and nose, then cleared his throat. “How
did...” he cleared his throat again and looked at Devlin. “How did your brother...die?”

The question punched at Devlin's heart. “One of the kids he was trying to help...” he whispered

thickly. “He...took a knife and...murdered Craig in his sleep.” he ducked his head and closed his eyes
as the tears burned. “There was no reason.” grief and anger tightened his voice. “Just some...fucked-
up kid who couldn't grasp that Craig was trying to help him.” Devlin wiped at his eyes and raised his
head. He frowned. Abel sat rigid, brow pinched hard. “Abel...”

“Where?” he whispered, eyes blank, voice tight.
“Where...what?”

“Where was he...when he was...” He swallowed hard, fresh tears simmering.
“He...” Devlin stared at him. What was wrong with him? “He was volunteering at an inner city

orphanage. The kid...” he licked his lips. “...Jesse...they said he'd been a resident of the orphanage for
a little over two years...come to them just before Craig began volunteering there. He—”

Abel scooted out of the seat and stood.
“What's wrong?” Devlin slid out and stood slowly. “Abel...” He reached for his face and the boy

jerked away, stepping back, eyes darting everywhere but at Devlin.

“I'm sorry.” Abel choked. He was shaking. “But I can't...I can't accept your offer.”
“What?” Confusion exploded through Devlin's mind. What the fuck just happened? “Abel...you

can. I told you...Craig, he would've wanted-”

“I don't want your brother's fucking money!” he cried. “I'll get it myself!”
“Abel, what the hell is wrong with you?” Desperation clawed at Devlin's heart.
A sharp, bitter laugh burst out of him as he choked on a cry.
“Abel...” Panic welled up in Devlin. Was he losing him? Right fucking now? Devlin stepped

towards the boy, knowing not to touch him but terrified of just letting him run away, needing to
understand what in the hell just happened here. “Abel...calm down...just tell me what's wrong?”

“Just...stay away from me.” Abel choked and stepped around him.
“Abel, dammit...” Devlin cried, desperate, scared. “Don't do this...please...just talk to me, tell me

what's wrong. Baby, I'll make it right. Just don't walk away...don't...please...not now, not
after...everything.”

“Last night...was a mistake.” Abel trembled, his beautiful eyes reflecting his shattered heart.

“Everything...was a mistake. I can't...I can't see you anymore.”

What the fuck did I do wrong? What is fucking happening?!
“No.” Devlin felt his world coming apart in pieces, crashing down. “No...god, baby, please don't

say that...it wasn't a mistake, it was...perfect...we are perfect.” In desperation, Devlin grabbed his
face, thumbs raking across the boy's wet, flushed cheeks. He pulled him close and pressed his brow
to Abel's forehead. “Don't do this, Abel...don't...I'm falling in love with you, baby...just tell me what I
did wrong...tell me, please.”

Abel shook his head slowly, tears rushing down. His hands shook as he clawed away Devlin's

grip on his face. “I'm sorry.” He backed away, shaking, coming apart before Devlin's eyes. “I'm
sorry!” he choked, broken, then turned and ran for the door.

“Abel!” Devlin cried. No...no...what the fuck?! Was this coffee shop fucking cursed?

* * * *

Rubber soles slapped against the concrete, echoing sharply, yet inside Abel's head it was a dull

distant sound, muffled by his screaming mind. He didn't know where he was going, he just had to get
away. Sobs built in his throat, choking him, making it hard to catch his breath. I can't breathe...I can't
fucking breathe...but still he ran, pushing strength down into his legs, propelling himself forward,
away from the coffee shop, away from Devlin's fateful words.

You have to outrun it—you have to! Don't stop! Don't let it catch you—it'll tear you to pieces!

Run!

When his back hit a solid surface, he realized he was in an alley, pressed up against a brick wall.

He screamed and hit his head against the bricks, barely aware of the sharp pain shooting through his
skull. “Fuck!” his arms curled around his waist and he doubled over, tears dripping off his face one

after another. “FUCK!!”

He slid down the wall and sucked his legs to his chest, slamming his forehead against his knees,

clawing fistfuls of hair, nails gouging his scalp. Cries exploded up his throat as he squeezed his eyes
shut, hot tears squeezing out.

“Jesse,” Ms. Keller touched the boy's shoulder. “I'd like you to meet Craig, he just started

volunteering here. He's here to help, if you need to talk, need anything.”

Lifting his amber eyes to the young man's face, Jesse murmured softly, “Hi...”
Craig smiled warmly, but something in his deep jade eyes caused a chill in the pit of the boy's

stomach. “It's real nice to meet you, Jesse.” His eyes sparked and Jesse felt sick, though he didn't
know why. “We're going to be good friends...I can feel it.”

Abel twisted sideways and pressed his hot cheek to the cold stone, body shaking, crying, wanting

to puke. It was over—everything. Last night suddenly meant nothing now. Devlin was lost to him
forever. Abel could never tell him the truth, never tell him that the brother he idolized...was a
monster.

And that in sheer desperation for his life—he had killed the beast.

###

Document Outline

Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Nineteen
Chapter Twenty
Chapter Twenty-One
Chapter Twenty-Two
Chapter Twenty-Three
Chapter Twenty-Four
Chapter Twenty-Five

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