GABRIEL

“Hostage Hearts”

C. J. B I S H O P

Chapter One

Old Acquaintances

“Check out the hottie at the bar.” Levi murmured in Ricky’s ear. Ricky grabbed the pole and

executed a graceful, artistic arc to allow him a clearer view of the bar. Cole sat on one of the stools,

conversing with Carl and another younger man in his early to mid-twenties. From the stage, Ricky

couldn’t determine if the guy was propositioning Cole or simply engaged in a casual conversation

with him.

Levi had been correct in labeling him a hottie. His tight pants squeezed his ass beautifully and

even from a distance, it was easy to see the perfect sculpting of his hard cheeks. His shoulders had a

nice width and thickness, though not too bulky or oversized. Ricky couldn’t see his face, but his soft

hair reflected deep auburn highlights in the bright lights of the club and curled teasingly over the

collar of his black shirt.

“Think he’s a customer looking for some attention?” Levi breathed in his ear, and his hot, slick

body pressed tight to Ricky’s back, swaying and rocking to the quick beat of the music. His crotch

was hard as a rock and pushing against Ricky’s exposed ass cheeks. “I wouldn’t mind giving him a

little one-on-one, if you know what I mean.” With that, he bumped Ricky’s ass as if to drive home his

meaning.

Ricky bit back a groan. “Yeah, I think I’m clear on what you mean.” He told him. “And Dane

called me the slut.”

“You are.” Levi snickered and grabbed his hips, rubbing against him until Ricky was clutching

the pole, his cock a steel bar in his G-string. “You’re just not the only one.”

The boy dropped to his heels behind Ricky then rubbed his hands up the back of his legs and over

his ass, his body rising slowly, seductively. The audience hollered and cheered as Levi’s sexy moves

urged them on, and then both he and Ricky began a seductive dance that set the men on fire.

Facing one another, their hands all over each other and bodies touching, rocking, curving in

rhythm, Ricky’s breath began to stick and puff erratically, his eyes locked into Levi’s hazel stare.

Since the guy had come to the Phoenix a couple months ago, they had been playfully flirting, taking

opportunities to get touchy feely on stage, teasing each other relentlessly–but they had yet to cross that

line and actually fuck. But more and more lately, Ricky found himself fantasizing about Levi,

envisioning them anywhere and everywhere, fucking each other senseless. The guy was giving him a

perpetual erection that was beginning to drive him insane–and becoming rather uncomfortable.

As if reading his thoughts, Levi pushed in closer, rubbing his crotch against Ricky’s stiff cock.

He was thankful for the sweat of their bodies, or the growing dampness in his shorts would be

unmistakable. The more Levi rubbed and pushed against him, the more his balls tightened and ached.

Before the guy could cause him to juice himself, he twisted around and shoved his ass into Levi’s

hard crotch. This wasn’t much better–and possibly became even worse when Levi’s hands began to

caress his hips, lower stomach, thighs, and ultimately his crotch.

I’m gonna fucking lose it, Ricky groaned inwardly. I’m gonna blow my wad if he keeps

touching me like this. He shifted away from the guy again, dancing around the pole, tempting him to

follow. Levi grinned and gave chase, never breaking from his sensual rhythm. About time he caught

up to Ricky, his attention was pulled back towards the bar and off Ricky; the hottie was walking

towards the stage, eyes locked on Levi. His face was as beautiful as the rest of him.

As he neared the stage, Ricky caught the sexy smile pulling at the corner of his mouth as he

flashed some bills at Levi. “My lucky day.” Levi murmured, dark glee on his face as he moved away

from Ricky, danced close to the edge of the stage then laced his hands behind his neck and went down

to his heels, his luscious ass rocking beautifully, body slinking and curving. His legs opened and the

man from the bar tucked the bills deep into Levi’s crotch, his smile stretching. Levi winked at him

then unlaced his hands and dragged a flirtatious finger across the man’s cheek and over his lips before

gyrating back to his feet.

You so want to fuck him, you little whore, Ricky thought sourly. But knew–whether he admitted

it or not–he just jealous that the hottie might soon be getting what he himself had been craving for two

months.

♦

“Took you long enough.” Cole smirked when Gabe finally emerged from the booth and

approached the bar. “You didn’t, uh…give him any bonuses, now did you?”

“Can we go now?” An uncharacteristic tightness pinched Gabe’s voice and he displayed no

humor at Cole’s joking remark.

“What’s with you?” Cole spoke low, frowning. “The guy stiff you?” He smiled.

“What’re you–a fucking comedian now?” The retort bordered on a snap.

Cole stood up and glanced at Carl who stood back a little, brows tight; this wasn’t typical

“Gabe” behavior. “What’s your problem, babe?” Cole asked, not without a smidge of annoyance. “I

was just joking.”

“Well knock it off, I’m not in the mood.” He muttered and headed for the club entrance. “I’ll be

in the car.”

When the guy walked away, Cole looked at Carl, brow arched. “Well what the fuck was that all

about?”

Carl shook his head and shrugged.

“If he gets too obnoxious,” Cole smiled slyly, “I’ll have to spank his ass.”

Carl chuckled. “And I bet you’d hate for it to come to that, huh?”

“Indeed.” Cole laughed. “I’ll talk to you later. Gotta go see what’s got my man so damn grumpy.”

“Good luck.”

“Thanks.” Cole nodded then groaned low. “I think I may need it.”

His nonchalance with Carl faded almost instantly as he walked out of the club. Not twenty

minutes ago, Gabe had been all hot and in a hurry to get back to the apartment and fuck each other into

a coma. Where had that Gabe gone to?

He found Gabe leaning against the car, arms crossed tightly over his chest, eyes hard as he stared

blankly at the side of the club building. When he heard Cole approaching, he turned and opened the

passenger door and slid inside.

“You gonna tell me what’s going on?” Cole took his place behind the wheel and started the car,

then looked at Gabe. “Or do I have to guess?”

“Can we go?”

“Fine.” Cole backed out of the parking space and headed them towards home. “But just so you

know, I’m not fucking you until you tell me why you’re so pissy all of the sudden.” He wasn’t sure the

man was even listening as he stared out the passenger window, eyes distant, troubled, his hand flexing

against his thigh.

♦

“What the hell are you doing here, Quint?” Gabe asked anxiously. “I don’t need you coming

around the club.”

The man adjusted himself in the chair. “What was I supposed to do?” he murmured. “You

won’t answer my calls.”

“I wasn’t ignoring you.” Gabe hissed. “I was dealing with some shit. I didn’t have time to

talk. And anyway, I don’t appreciate you calling me at all hours.”

A cool, interested smile curved Quint’s lips and he leaned forward. “Why is that? Got a

boyfriend that you’re lying to?”

Gabe exhaled hard. “I’m not lying to anyone. And it’s none of your business anyway.” He

clung to the offensive approach, but the truth was–Quinton Sanitini had him by the balls, in more

ways than one.

“Oh I think it is.” He spoke low, and the threat he posed began to seep through. “In fact, I

think everything that concerns you is my business.”

Swallowing thick, Gabe refused to back down, or show any fear or weakness–the man would

waste no time capitalizing on that. “Not until I have proof.” He said tightly. “I want to see the

death certificate, and I want to see the body.” He forced back the tears, hating the calloused way

he was speaking of Nathan’s death; the man deserved more from him. But if he showed weakness

there as well, Quint would use it. And in fact, he was watching Gabe now, eyes slightly narrowed,

searching for the emotion he knew resided in there. Quint was fully aware of how important

Nathan had been to Gabe.

He shrugged. “Fair enough.” He leaned back again, surveying Gabe’s body. “I do hope you

realize…that his death is on your hands. You’re the reason he was put away.”

An ache squeezed Gabe’s jaw; Quint wasn’t the only one who blamed him. He blamed himself.

Yet Nathan never had. And Quint wasn’t qualified to stand in judgment of him–the man hadn’t

given two shits about his father. And he couldn’t be happier that Nathan was dead, because now he

was finally getting what he’d always wanted–Gabe.

♦

When the engine shut off, Gabe came back to the present. Cole sat in silence and gripped the

steering wheel. The man had surely tried to talk to him during the drive home, but Gabe hadn’t heard a

word of it. He half expected a fist to the jaw for being such an ass, and then ignoring him. But rather

than deliver the knuckle sandwich he deserved, Cole tugged the key from the ignition, stuffed it in his

pocket and got out of the car. The guy wasn’t an idiot, he knew something was going on that Gabe

wasn’t telling him about, and Gabe’s lack of revelations on the matter was more likely hurting him

more than pissing him off. Cole had always trusted Gabe, in everything.

Rubbing his eyes, Gabe shoved open his door and stepped out. Cole didn’t speak as he led the

way up to his apartment. Though lately it was more like their apartment since Gabe pretty much lived

there too. He still had his own place but hadn’t spent a night in it for almost a month now. He didn’t

know if he kept it because Cole hadn’t officially asked him to move in…or because all of this felt too

good to be true and some part of him expected it to go to hell at any given moment.

“I’m sorry.” Gabe said quietly when they entered the apartment. “I didn’t mean to be such a prick

back at the club.”

“Then why were you?” Cole turned and faced him. “What the fuck happened? Did the customer

piss you off and you decided to take it out on me?”

Gabe sighed. “Kind of. I guess. I don’t know.” He shoved his hand through his hair. “I said I was

sorry. Tell me what to do to make it up to you.”

A heavy breath escaped Cole as he stared at the floor, then slowly raised his eyes. “You don’t

know?”

His lips twitching with a sudden smile, Gabe murmured, “You’re the best fucking boyfriend in

the universe.” He grabbed Cole in a tight hug and kissed his neck hard.

“Yeah, well,” Cole grunted. “I would like to be fucking my boyfriend right now.”

Gabe chuckled. “So what’s stopping you?”

“Clothing.”

Stepping back, Gabe peeled off his shirt and threw it on the floor. “That can be remedied right

quick.” He grinned and unfastened his pants, shoving them down and taking his briefs with them. He

kicked them aside and stood before Cole, bare ass. “Your turn.”

As he watched Cole hurriedly shed his clothes as well, Quint’s words pushed into his mind,

causing his smile to falter. You got a boyfriend you’re lying to?

Gabe stomach tightened; he didn’t want Quinton to know about Cole. And vice versa.

“So,” Cole jerked him back to the here and now. “You want to go to the bedroom–or just fuck

right here?”

Gabe stared at him a moment; though their words were often raw, to say the least, Cole’s pale

gray eyes never lost the light of his love. Gabe was overwhelmed with the desperate need to hold the

man and make slow, passionate love to him. But the sudden shift in mood would alert Cole that

something was wrong. And he would be right. Something was wrong–and Gabe didn’t know if they

would make it out of it with their love intact. These might be some of his last days with Cole…and he

didn’t want to waste them.

He cleared his throat and quickly blinked back the sting of tears. “The bedroom.”

Chapter Two

Hearts in Denial

“What was that all about?” Levi followed Ricky into the dressing room and grabbed a bottle of

water from the mini-frig then leaned against the counter and twisted off the cap. Ricky went for a

towel and wiped the sweat from his body.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean,” Levi watched him towel off and downed a long drink of cold water. “Every time I

started to get me a good feel out there, you would move away. What’s up with that?”

Ricky’s arms went slack, the towel hanging loose in his hand. “What am I? There for your

groping pleasure?”

“I thought so.” Levi shrugged and grinned. Ricky just stared at him soberly, then shook his head, a

sudden smile cutting across his face.

“Fuck.” He laughed low. “You’re…” He faltered, shaking his head again then began rubbing

himself down with the towel once more.

“I’m what?” Levi prodded, grinning. “Sexy? Irresistible? Fucking hot?”

All of the above. “Maybe egotistical, perhaps?” Ricky cocked an eyebrow, smirking. He was

starting to feel a little ridiculous for his jealous thoughts towards Levi and the hottie customer. What

did he care who the guy fucked? And besides, it was part of the act to make up to the customers.

That’s where the biggest payoffs came from.

Levi chuckled and brushed his fingers through his short black hair. “Perhaps.” Ricky’s gaze

followed the course of the man’s fingers as they slipped through his neatly cropped strands a couple

more times. His loins started to ache and he turned his back to the guy to hide his sudden hard-on, and

found himself staring at his reflection in the mirror. Behind him, Levi was looking him over quite

thoroughly. Just ask him out already. Do the deed. You know you both want to fuck each other so

bad it’s making you crazy.

Clearing his throat, Ricky licked his lips then caught Levi’s stare in the mirror. “I was just

thinking…” His words died in his throat when the hottie from the bar suddenly appeared in the

doorway.

“Hey. There you are.” He spoke to Levi, a come on smile creeping across his lips. “Loved the

show.”

Ricky’s breath rushed through his nostrils. He wrapped the towel around his waist, mostly to

conceal his arousal, and turned around sharply. “I’m sorry, but customers aren’t allowed back here.”

He said curtly.

“Now, now, Ricky.” Levi murmured and smiled at the man. “I don’t see the harm in bending the

rules now and then. Our friend here isn’t hurting anything by being back here.”

Our friend? He wasn’t Ricky’s fucking friend. “Max don’t like his rules bent.”

“Come on, Ricky.” Levi shot him a ‘what the hell?’ look. “Since when were you so by the

book?”

“No, it’s okay.” The guy said. “He’s right.”

Damn straight, Ricky thought but found himself annoyed that the man agreed with him. Up close,

the guy didn’t look more than maybe twenty-four, and in the fluorescent lights of the dressing room,

his hair shone a lighter auburn which perfectly accented his jade green eyes. He was beautiful–which

irritated Ricky that much more. Especially when Levi was practically ripping his clothes off with his

eyes, a notable bulge in his crotch.

Oh go fuck him already, Ricky hissed at him silently.

“No need to bend rules on my account.” The guy said and smiled, eyes heavy as he looked at

Levi. “But I’m not a customer.”

“What?” Ricky frowned, and the man finally dragged his lustful eyes off Levi and met his stare.

“I’m Ashton.” He said and held out his hand, but it was directed to Levi. “I’m a dancer.”

“No shit?” Levi shook his hand, but Ricky noticed he held on a little longer than necessary and

there was some finger-squeezing going on. “I’m Levi.”

I don’t fucking believe this. “You’re…coming to work here?”

“Yes.” Ashton nodded and finally released Levi to offer his hand to Ricky.

“Great.” Ricky’s face pinched with a forced smile, his voice lacking enthusiasm as he shook the

guy’s hand–which was brief and involved no finger play.

“Indeed.” The sensual tone to Levi’s voice grated on Ricky’s ears.

Ashton smiled as his jade eyes slid slowly down Levi’s nearly nude body then crawled back up

to his lovely face. “I was kind of hoping…” Ashton shrugged, his smiled growing. “Maybe you’d like

to go out, grab a late dinner. Maybe give me the…” His eyes made another quick sweep. “…low

down on how things work here at the club?”

Low down. Could the fucker be any more obvious?

“Sounds good to me.” Levi flicked an eyebrow flirtatiously. “Let me get dressed and I’ll meet

you out by the bar.”

“Great.” Ashton tossed a quick, absent nod at Ricky, and he had to will himself not to wave

goodbye with his middle finger.

“Fuck.” Levi breathed and grinned when Ashton was gone. “A dancer? Here? This is my lucky

day. That guy is fucking hot.”

Ricky exhaled and rolled his eyes then reached for his clothes.

“What?” Levi asked. “You can’t tell me you didn’t think he was totally fuckable.”

“Whatever.” Ricky muttered and pulled on his pants.

“Oh…I see.” Levi smirked.

Ricky straightened up and fastened his pants. “What do you see?”

He waggled a finger at him and snickered. “You’re jealous.”

“What?” Ricky stared at him, but his heart was suddenly pounding. “Why the fuck would I be

jealous? You can go whore around with whoever you want.”

Levi laughed and shook his head. “I didn’t mean jealous of me, dummy. I meant jealous that he

asked me out–instead of you.” He gave Ricky a smug grin and rubbed his chest. “But I guess…some

of us just have it, and some don’t.”

“Trust me,” Ricky mumbled. “What you probably have–I don’t want.”

♦

The bedroom resounded with erratic breaths and satisfied exhalations. Beside him, the man’s

body was hot to the touch and slick with sweat as he lay silently in the darkness. “You’re a good man,

Max.” Horatio whispered, panting softly, his skin still sensitive from their intense love making.

“These boys are lucky to have you.”

Max didn’t reply for a moment, then murmured, “I’m lucky to have them.” Emotion strained his

voice. “It’s nice to come home each night to…”

“A family?” Horatio finished softly.

Max nodded slowly. “Yeah.”

Gazing at him in the darkness, Horatio could barely make out his features. But he knew them by

heart, every inch of Max’s face. He didn’t confess out loud how bad he wanted to be part of that

“family” that Max came home to at night. He didn’t have to; Max knew.

“I wish things were different.” Max sniffed then cleared his throat. “I wish we could have had a

family together.” He paused, a shaky breath escaping him. “I thought about that…even when we were

young.”

“So did I.” Horatio whispered and leaned close, kissing Max’s shoulder. This was the first time

Max had spoken so openly about what he had wanted with Horatio, and even though there was nothing

to it, no hope of Max changing his mind and allowing Horatio back into his life for good–it still gave

his heart wings. “I still do.”

“Sometimes…” Max closed his eyes and warm tears slid down his temples. “Sometimes I wish I

were dead. Sometimes it hurts too much to just breathe.”

Horatio scooted closer and laid his head on the pillow next to Max’s, then touched his brow to

his temple. “If you ever check out, you’ll have to take me with you. And you’ll have to let me go

first.” His throat tightened. “Because I couldn’t bear to live in this life even one second without you

in it, too.”

Turning his head, pressing their brows together, Max said thickly, “I thought that the more time

that passed, the easier it would get.”

“What?” Horatio murmured.

Tears formed in Max’s eyes. “Being apart from you. Letting you go.” He shook his head. “But

it’s…it’s getting worse, not better.”

“I know.” Horatio whispered. “For me too.”

“Within the last month or so, I’ve watched three impossible relationships…become possible.

And I keep thinking…” He stopped and turned his face away, looking at the ceiling again, tears

running free.

“If it can happen for them…maybe it can happen for us too?”

Max drew in a deep breath and released it in a shaky sigh. “But it can’t.” He shifted his eyes to

Horatio. “We’re the exception.” Tears welled and spilled over. “Nothing can fix us, Horatio.”

♦

“Fuck!” Cole gasped sharp, loud. “I’m gonna come!” Gabe’s fingers dug into his ass cheeks,

gripping, pulling him in deeper as he fucked the man urgently, losing all control as the orgasm coiled

around him and squeezed until he could barely breathe. Gabe had come just seconds ago, his warm,

creamy deposits smeared across both their stomachs. “Fuuck!” Cole pounded the man then released

hard, a strangled cry pushing up his throat as he panted and grunted and emptied himself inside his

lover.

When sudden exhaustion grabbed him, he sagged against Gabe’s fevered body, sucking for a full

breath. He started to move off the guy but Gabe held him locked in his arms, hands rubbing firmly up

and down his back, lower to caress his ass then up his back again. Gabe shoved his face into Cole’s

damp neck and kissed him. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” Cole murmured, a slight pinch to his brow. Gabe had been acting strange ever

since they left the club. He pushed up on his elbows and kissed the man’s lips. When he looked into

his baby blues, they were a shimmery ocean. “Gabe, what’s wrong?” he asked quietly. He slid his

fingers through Gabe’s dark hair and kissed him again. “And don’t say nothing. That’s a chick

response. And trust me, baby–you’re all man. So…just tell me what’s going on.”

Gabe cleared his throat and swallowed thickly. “I got word that…” The tears thickened and he

swallowed again. “That my dad died, just recently.”

“Your dad?” Cole murmured. Gabe had never mentioned his father, or any family. The guy had

always seemed reluctant to talk about his past, but Cole had assumed that he’d probably lost his

parents early on, or been abandoned by them possibly. Most of the boys from the club had hard luck

stories to tell.

“He wasn’t…” Gabe licked his lips slowly. “He wasn’t my real dad, but…he treated me like a

son, got me out of a bad life when I was younger.”

“God, babe, I’m so sorry.” Cole whispered. “Why didn’t you tell me? You don’t have to go

through this alone.”

“I just…” Gabe shrugged and wiped at his eyes. “Things were already crazy with Caleb, and

then Angel. You had enough to deal with.”

“So did you.” Cole said quietly and caressed his face. “You were right there with me, dealing

with it. You could’ve told me. Don’t ever think that I’m too caught up in something else to stop and be

there for you when you need me.”

A faint smile shadowed his lips. “Okay.” He whispered.

“I really am sorry.” Cole kissed him softly. “When is the funeral?”

Gabe tensed a little, then shook his head. “I don’t know yet.”

“Well, you don’t have to go to it alone.” Cole told him. “I’ll be there with you.”

Gabe just gazed back at him, a look in his wet eyes that Cole wasn’t sure how to interpret.

Chapter Three

Good Morning Gone Bad

“Damn, baby. Do you know how sexy you look wearing just my shirt and nothing else?” Angel

smiled when Dane stepped up behind him and wrapped his arms around him, nuzzling his neck with

his morning scruff. His body was still heated and slightly damp from their morning activities.

“As sexy as you look in just your undies?” Angel’s smile widened as he dumped coffee grounds

into the fresh filter.

“Uh-uh.” Dane groaned, lips playing with Angel’s earlobe. “You’re much sexier.” He pushed

against him, his briefs not much of a barrier against the man’s growing arousal.

When he nuzzled Angel’s neck again, the boy scrunched his shoulders and laughed. “Stop. That

tickles.”

“You weren’t complaining earlier.” Dane murmured.

“You weren’t tickling me.” Angel grinned.

Dane chuckled and tightened his arms, pressing closer to him. The button-up shirt Angel had

slipped on–which happened to be Dane’s–wasn’t effective in warding off the guy’s bulge as it pushed

wantonly against his ass. “Well,” Dane breathed in his ear, causing pleasant shivers to course through

Angel’s body. “I was tickling your fancy.”

Laughing, Angel shook his head. “Is that what they’re calling it these days?” He closed the lid

and turned on the coffee maker, then covered Dane’s hand with his own and leaned back against his

chest.

“Mmm.” Dane moaned against his neck, kissing and sucking him gently. His hands splayed

against Angel’s stomach then slowly crept lower where Angel’s prominent arousal tented the shirt.

“Nice.” Dane whispered, handling him through the fabric. “Can I have a taste of this…morning

delight?”

Angel’s breath puffed quick off his lips. “You already had a taste.”

“What? I can’t have seconds?” Dane groaned. “I’m a growing boy…I need my sustenance.”

Smiling, Angel turned around and rubbed his hands up Dane’s bare chest. “Far be it from me to

refuse you and possibly stunt your…” He glanced at the man’s protruding crotch. “…growth.”

“That would be a shame.” Dane grinned then grabbed his waist and hoisted him onto the counter.

“Especially for you.” He chuckled and kissed him as he began unfastening the buttons of the shirt.

Angel wrapped his arms around his neck and panted when their kiss ended. “I agree.”

The shirt peeled away from his chest then off his shoulders, sliding down his arms and onto the

counter. “Now this is a breakfast I could get used to having served up to me every morning.” Dane

groaned and kissed him again. He squeezed Angel’s bare hips and brought his hands around front and

stroked him slowly, sensually.

“Fuck.” Angel whimpered and rubbed his hands down the man’s arms. “I love the way you do

that.”

“Yeah?” Dane brushed his lips across Angel’s mouth then induced a deeper kiss. He squeezed

Angel’s shaft and stroked him harder.

“Uh!” Angel gasped into his mouth and gouged his chest.

“Do you love the way I do this?” Dane panted then dropped his head and took Angel’s cock into

his mouth all in one shot, sucking hard.

“Fuck!” Angel fell back on his arms, hips lifting. “Oh my god!”

Dane shoved his lean legs apart and slid his thumbs up his inner thighs then massaged his

tightening balls, his hot mouth sliding vigorously up and down his stiff shaft.

The man’s hair tickled Angel’s stomach and he grabbed the back of his head with one hand,

thrusting his hips. “Fuck, baby.” Angel gasped tightly. His head dropped back and his arm began to

ache as it supported his weight, his other hand gripping Dane, fingers squeezing a fist of ebony

strands. “Oh fuck! Yes…”

The hot, wet, velvet soft interior of Dane’s mouth and throat suctioned around his throbbing cock,

pumping him hard, quickly shoving Angel over the edge. When Dane felt his muscles begin to tighten,

his body lock up, he shoved his hands under Angel’s ass and lifted him to his strokes. Angel was back

to supporting himself with both arms and helping him.

“Uuh!” He yelled. “Fuck! Oh fuck-fuck! I’m there-gonna come-oh god!”

Dane sucked him harder and Angel screamed, unloading down his throat. He worked him a few

moments longer until Angel began to relax a bit, then pulled up off him and kissed his mouth. “Now,”

he panted, sucking Angel’s lips. “I think I need some coffee with that cream.”

♦

Max watched Horatio dress, memorizing every little movement, every miniscule shift of

expression. He couldn’t keep him, but he could at least keep the memory of how he looked getting

dressed in his bedroom after making love all night and into the morning. Of course it had been a

mistake to respond to his text, invite him in last night. But the truth was–he wasn’t sure anymore how

to fight his feelings for the man. He knew he had to find a way, somehow. But he realized he was

losing his will to engage in that battle. It was so much easier to just let him in, than forcibly hold that

door closed and keep him out. He’d been barricading the door for almost twenty years–his strength

was waning.

“Do you want me to go before Maddy wakes up?” Horatio asked quietly, fastening his shirt. “I’ll

understand.”

“No.” Max licked his lips and just stared at the man. The poor guy was probably as confused as

hell. Their last encounter had been an explosion of hurt and anger. Max had blown up on him, and

Horatio had taken his leave. But now here they were again–crawling out of the same bed in which

they’d spent a glorious night. It wasn’t fair to Horatio to play this yo-yo game with him, shoving him

away and then drawing him back, just to shove him away again. He knew the man would take what he

could get without complaint. But it was hurting him, as it was hurting Max.

“Are you sure?” Horatio murmured.

“Yeah.” Max nodded. “I want you to meet him. You’ll like him.”

“I’m sure I will.” He smiled then sat down on the bed to pull on his socks. His smile wavered

then faded as he asked quietly, “And how long after I meet him…do I have to leave?”

The hurt in his voice punched at Max. “I, um…” He shrugged. “I would like it if you stayed for

breakfast.”

Horatio sighed and straightened up then looked at Max, his smile reforming on his lips. “I would

like that too.” He slipped on his shoes then stood up.

“Look,” Max rubbed his mouth slowly and carefully avoided Horatio’s eyes. “I’m sorry for what

I said last night.”

“What did you say that requires an apology?”

His lips tight, Max rubbed the back of his neck and stared at the floor. “What I said about

wishing we could’ve raised a family together.” He said quietly. “I had no business mentioning that.”

“Why not?” Horatio came towards him and Max wanted to back away, but remained stationary.

“Because,” he said with a strain of emotion. “It’s a part of our past that…” He shook his head,

his throat closing, eyes burning. “That’s dead and gone. I need to leave it buried. I got angry with you

for hanging onto memories. I had no right to say anything about it.”

“Max,” Horatio slid his hands around his waist and kissed him. “It was nice to hear you

reminiscing. That’s a rare treat for me. You never talk about how things used to be, or what you wish

they could’ve been.”

His face pinching with hurt, Max went to pull away, but Horatio held onto him. “I don’t talk

about those things, Horatio…” Max whispered thickly. “Because there’s no point in it. What good

does it do to remember? Or think about what could’ve been, when–it can’t ever be?”

Horatio curled his arms around him and held him tight. “The point is…if I don’t hold onto some

part of our past when you loved me,” He cried quietly, his face against Max’s neck. “I couldn’t face

life. I couldn’t make myself get out of bed each morning and keep going.” His arms tightened, sobs

straining his body. “I love you, Max. I love you so much I can’t fucking think straight.”

“Horatio…” Max wrapped his arms around him, crying against his shoulder. “I’m sorry. I

wish…” He shook in the man’s arms. “I wish we didn’t know now…what we didn’t know then.” He

hugged him tighter and cried harder. “I wish I just…didn’t fucking care about it.”

Pulling out of his arms, Horatio wiped the tears from his face, though more slipped out. He

looked at Max through watery eyes. “But you do.” He whispered. “And you should.” He shrugged.

“So should I, but…” His chin trembled and a fresh well of tears rose up. “But I just fucking don’t.”

He cleared his throat and wiped at his face again, then released a slow breath. “I should…” He

swallowed hard, throat working as more sobs began to lodge in there. “I should just go. I don’t

belong here.” He looked at Max with so much pain and anguish that Max wanted to scream. “I guess I

never really did.”

“Horatio.” Max choked when the man reached for the bedroom door. “You don’t have to go yet.”

He hesitated, seemed about to speak then shook his head and walked out. Moments later, the front

door closed. Max stared at the open bedroom door, the room shimmering and blurring. He went to the

kitchen and began making a pot of coffee. When his thumb hit the ‘on’ button–he broke–the sobs

hitting him hard and fast. His body bent over the countertop and his head dropped into his arms as he

cried uncontrollably, his grief clenching his stomach and chest so tight he couldn’t breathe.

A scuff of shoes on the kitchen tile cut off his cries instantly. He straightened up slowly but didn’t

face the boy who had just entered. “Max?” Concern laced Maddy’s voice.

Max cleared his throat and wiped quick at his face, keeping his back to the kid. “Good morning,

Maddy.” He said thickly, trying to sound pleasant but failing miserably. “Can I…can I fix you some

breakfast?”

“Is something wrong?” Maddy asked quietly, worried.

“No.” He was sure he’d answered too quickly, and even he could hear the wetness of his voice.

“Everything’s fine. Why don’t you have a seat and I’ll whip us up some pancakes?”

A chair skidded dully on the tiles as the boy sat down at the small round table. Max could feel

his eyes on him. “Angel used to tell me everything was fine too.” He murmured, a thickness to his

words. “When it wasn’t.”

Max stared at the counter. The kid had seen the worst life had to offer; he wasn’t easily fooled.

♦

“This is the first time I’ve spent a night away from Maddy.” Angel said as they walked from the

car to Max’s front porch. Anxiety shadowed his tone.

Dane smiled. “I’m sure he was fine. He was with Max.”

“Yeah.” Angel exhaled a strong breath and nodded. “Yeah, I’m sure you’re right. It’s just that,

until now, Maddy was never in a safe environment. It’s hard to break out of that frame of mind, that I

always have to be there, protecting him.”

Sliding his arm across Angel’s shoulder, Dane kissed his hair. “It’s only natural that it will take

time to really absorb your new reality–that both you and Maddy are safe now.” He dipped his head

down and kissed his lips. “But you are. And you have a new family of big strong men who will bury

anyone who even thinks about hurting you or Maddy.” He smiled and hugged him. “Okay?”

Angel laughed softly and nodded. “Okay.”

They found Maddy in the kitchen, alone, a plate of pancakes before him. Though the breakfast

smelled delicious, the boy merely poked at the food with his fork, his eyes troubled. “Maddy?”

The kid looked up when Angel and Dane entered. “Hey.”

Dane glanced around. “Where’s Max?”

“In the bedroom, I think.” Maddy murmured.

“Is something wrong?” Angel asked with concern.

Maddy continued to slowly mutilate his pancakes with the tines of the fork. “Max is…upset.”

Exchanging a look with Dane, Angel frowned. “Upset about what?”

Shrugging, the boy mumbled, “I don’t know. But he was…” His lips tightened and he looked up,

eyes wet. “He was crying…a lot.”

Dane’s stomach knotted instantly. “Was anyone else here?”

Laying down his fork, Maddy pushed his plate away. “I think so.” He said quietly. “I heard him

talking to someone in the bedroom. I thought he was just on the phone, but then I heard the front door

close and when I looked out the window, a black limo was pulling away.”

Black limo. Dane closed his eyes, stomach pinching harder. Horatio Kaplan.

“I’ll go talk to him.” Dane murmured, then kissed Angel and left the kitchen.

Chapter Four

What a Boy Wants

Gabe had told Cole the truth–just not the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help him God.

What he’d said about Nathan was right, but it was just the bare bones of the story. There was plenty

of “flesh” that had been stripped away. In all honesty, he shouldn’t have told him anything. But Cole

wasn’t a fool, and he wouldn’t have stopped until Gabe gave him something. So he offered just

enough to appease the man, and to excuse his behavior lately. Perhaps it would deter Cole’s curiosity

and concern for awhile, until Gabe could figure out what the fuck to do about Quint.

There’s nothing you can do and you know it. You owe Nathan.

In the bathroom down the hall, the shower shut off. Gabe stared at the bedroom ceiling, hands

laced under his head. He had yet to get up and get dressed. When the bedroom door opened a few

minutes later and Cole entered with just a towel around his waist, he looked at Gabe and cocked an

eyebrow. “Getting up anytime today?”

“Oh I’m already up.” Gabe smiled.

Cole chuckled. “Don’t tell me that, I just showered.”

“The beauty of showers is,” Gabe sat forward. “You can always take another.”

“Maybe you need a cold one.” Cole smirked.

Lying back against the pillows again, Gabe nodded, a wry smile on his lips as he zeroed in on

Cole’s crotch where the towel was beginning to tent out. “You say that as if I’m the only one thinking

dirty thoughts.”

Cole followed his eyes and looked down. “Oh that?” He mused. “That’s just my natural bulge.”

“Uh-huh.” Gabe smiled dryly. “I’ve been around long enough to know what’s natural and what

isn’t.”

“So what’re you saying?”

Gabe stared at him. Their flirtatious banter was one of things he loved most about his and Cole’s

relationship, and that it always led to sex, which was a definite bonus. But looking at him now, he

couldn’t help but wonder how much longer he would have this. Or have Cole at all. He swallowed

thick and glanced away. “Nothing.” He murmured.

“What?” Cole shook his head and chuckled. “No. You’re supposed to tell me –‘I’m saying get

your sexy ass over here and give me some of that unnatural bulge’. Or something to that effect.”

“Must’ve forgotten my line.” Gabe smiled, but it felt heavy.

Cole sobered. “What’s wrong?” He walked to the bed and lay down next to Gabe, propped on

his elbow. “Are thinking about your dad?”

“Yeah, maybe.” Gabe sighed. “I hadn’t talked to him in a long time.”

“Why?” Cole asked. “Did you have a falling out?”

“No.” Gabe cleared his throat. “It wasn’t anything like that. I guess….I just got busy with life and

didn’t realize how fast time could pass.” He was creeping into the realm of lies and he didn’t like

that. It was true he hadn’t talked to Nathan in a long while, but it wasn’t because life had distracted

him–but because Nathan had sent him away, for his own good.

♦

Dane knocked once then opened the bedroom door. Max sat on the edge of the bed, his head in

his hands. “Max?” The guy didn’t respond and Dane stepped into the room, closing the door quietly.

“Maddy said you were upset. What’s wrong?”

Max’s only response was his fingers slowly squeezing his hair.

“Was…” Dane crossed the floor and sat down next to him. He touched his shoulder, and the man

was trembling softly. “Was Horatio here?”

“It’s getting worse.” Max whispered, the strain of tears in his voice. “This time, I wanted to tell

him to stay, and that he never had to leave.”

Dane rubbed his mouth slowly. “And that’s…not in the realm of possibility?”

“No.” Max sniffed then cleared his throat. “It isn’t.” His hands slid to the back of his neck and

squeezed. “Not ever.”

The man was spiraling downward emotionally. Dane had watched it happening over the last few

weeks. And judging by the last time he’d seen Horatio Kaplan, the day he’d come out of Max’s office

after an exchange of loud words, he suspected it wasn’t any better for him either. Whatever had been

keeping them apart for so long was pushing its way to the surface and demanding to be addressed,

acknowledged. And it was breaking both men down.

Dane wrapped his arm around Max’s shoulder. “If you need to talk, I’m always here for you.”

“Thank you.” Max whispered. “I just…” He shook his head then stood up, rubbing the back of his

neck with force. “I need to move on, get past this.” He looked at Dane with tears in his eyes and years

of emotional baggage. “But I don’t know how.”

Standing to his feet, Dane approached him and cupped his face, stroking his thumbs over his

cheeks. “Maybe,” He suggested cautiously, “Maybe you should consider developing a serious

relationship with someone else, someone you can build a life with, who you can focus your heart on.”

Max gazed back at him. “The only man who’s had that effect on me,” he murmured thickly. “Is

already taken.”

“Max.” Dane slid his arms around him and held him tight. “Another will come along.”

Hugging him close, Max buried his face in his neck. “No one quite like you.”

Dane stroked his hair slowly, gently. “You’ll always be special to me.” He said thickly. “You’ve

been here for me in my worst hours. And I’m here for you too. Having Angel in my life doesn’t mean

I’m deserting you.”

Max’s arms squeezed tighter. “You were open and honest with me about your past.” He

whispered. “You trusted me enough to tell me everything.” He swallowed hard and pressed his lips

to Dane’s shoulder, tears thickening his voice. “I need to tell someone about this thing with Horatio. It

hurts too much trying to keep it to myself.”

“You can tell me.” Dane murmured and held him securely. “You can trust me.”

“I know.” Max said quietly.

Dane held him while the man fell into silence for a few minutes, and waited for him to open up.

And when he did, when the truth of his and Horatio’s situation was laid out and exposed–Dane held

him tighter and cried with him, the hopelessness of their circumstances hitting him hard in the heart.

♦

“What the hell are you doing here?” Ricky leaned against the partially open door, eyes heavy

with sleep. He scratched his bare chest absently then shoved his fingers through his messy hair and

yawned.

Levi rested his shoulder against the door frame and grinned–looking far too bright-eyed and

bushy-tailed for this early in the morning. A faint, rather pleasant scent of cologne tantalized Ricky’s

nostrils; no doubt residue left over from his sleazy date last night. Who the hell knew if it was even

his cologne? Probably rubbed off from hottie Ashton.

“I assumed you would want to be the first to know how my hot date went.” Levi’s mouth twisted

with a sexy smirk that Ricky cussed himself for wanting to suck off his lips, and feeling that want in

his boxers.

“You assumed wrong.” He grumbled and started to shut the door when Levi’s hand shot out and

shoved it open wider as he stepped inside. Ricky groaned then shut the door after him. “What’re you

doing? I don’t get up for a couple more hours.”

“Oh really?” Levi arched his brow as he eyed Ricky’s crotch, and smiled smartly. “You give a

whole new meaning to rise and shine.”

Dropped his stare to his own goods, Ricky was appalled to discover the hard-on straining

against his boxer briefs. “Whatever.” He mumbled and walked into the kitchen, yawning again. The

apartment was small and the kitchen and living room were open and connected. He fixed a pot of

coffee, though all he really wanted to do was go back to bed. “Can’t story time wait till later?”

“No way.” Levi dropped down on the sofa and flopped his head on the back rest, watching

Ricky. “That Ashton is something else. He’s got moves like you wouldn’t believe. The way he works

his hips,” Levi groaned loud. “Fuck, you know he’s gotta be one hell of a dancer.”

The way he works his hips. Ricky shook his head. “I really don’t want to hear about your little

fuck fest with the new guy.”

Levi ignored him. “He’s even got a bit of romantic in him. Did the whole dinner and dancing

thing. Wined and dined me real nice.”

“And then sucked and fucked you. I get it.” Ricky said stiffly. “Can I go back to bed now?”

Twisting on the sofa, Levi rested his chin on the backrest and stared at Ricky. “Why are you so

bitter about me going out with him? I mean, if you’re really not jealous, as you say you’re not.”

“I’m not fucking jealous.” Ricky snapped and walked to the edge of the living room and stopped.

“I’m tired. I work late hours in case you’ve forgotten.”

Levi grinned and left the sofa. “No, I haven’t forgotten.” He said. “But you were all snarky about

Ashton last night. What gives?”

“Nothing.” Ricky shook his head as his pulse quickened when the guy approached him. “Maybe I

just wasn’t as impressed by him as you obviously were.”

“Uh-huh.” Levi murmured, smiling. “And maybe…” He reached out and brushed his fingers

down Ricky’s cheek. “You really were jealous of me.”

Ricky smacked his hand away. “What the fuck are you talking about?” He muttered.

“Ahh, admit it, baby.” Levi smirked. “You want me, don’t you? I bet you were dreaming about

me just before I showed up, that’s why your boxers were so full when you answered the door.”

Ricky rolled his eyes. “You’re delusional.” He mumbled, though found it difficult to meet his

eyes. “You’re not nearly as hot as you think you are.” A lie, of course. But he wasn’t about to tell the

cocky bastard the truth.

“Is that so?” Levi posed. “So when you get all cock hard on stage with me…that’s just an act?”

“Maybe it is.”

“And maybe you’re full of shit.”

“Whatever. I’m going back to bed. You can go now-” Ricky was suddenly pinned against the

wall with Levi’s mouth crushing his in a hot, invasive kiss. His lips parted without his consent and let

the guy’s tongue plunge in. An unwelcome moan rolled up his throat as Levi shoved against him,

crotch grinding.

Oh fuck! Ricky couldn’t stop his hands from clutching at the man, shoving behind him and

grabbing his ass, pulling him hard against him. One leg lifted and curled around Levi’s hip as he

thrust his hard cock against the guy’s equally solid crotch. Levi dropped his hand down between them

and vigorously rubbed Ricky’s stiff erection through his shorts as he rocked against him.

Ricky squeezed his ass, fingers gouging his firm rump through his jeans, his whimpers and moans

telling Levi exactly what he wanted–to come to bed with him and fuck him senseless. He released the

guy’s ass and worked his hands up under his shirt and clawed his back, his leg still hooked securely

around him. Levi’s massage was doing wonders, extracting droplets of cum juice from his cock,

getting him so fucking hard he wanted to scream.

A hard gasp burst from them both when Levi suddenly pulled out of the wet, hot kiss. His eyes

were hazy with lust as Ricky trembled with the need to be fucked good and hard. “I knew you wanted

me.” He smirked then backed off, tucking his shirt back into his pants. “Well, I’ll be going. Let you

get back to your beauty sleep.” He walked towards the door. “Feel free to fantasize about me while

you’re jerking off.” Then he was gone.

Ricky trembled, his cock throbbing and pulsing and leaking. He stared at the door that Levi had

just passed through, his words raking across his mind and down his body.

Motherfucker.

Chapter Five

Hearts in a Twist

“You got a call while you were in the shower.” Cole said. “I think it went to voicemail.”

Gabe walked to the counter and poured himself a cup of coffee. “Okay.” He murmured, tension

squeezing his intestines. He couldn’t receive a call anymore without it twisting up his guts.

“Hey.” Cole was suddenly behind him, arms wrapped around his waist. He kissed Gabe’s neck

and hugged him tighter. “I need to run to the store, grab a few things.” He nuzzled Gabe’s ear. “Wanna

come with?”

“Mm.” Gabe spooned dry creamer into his cup, then shook his head. “I think I’ll just hang out

here.”

“All right.” Cole planted another kiss on his neck. “I shouldn’t be too long.” He loosened his

arms then stepped around and kissed Gabe on the mouth. “Want to go out for lunch later?”

Gabe kissed him back. “Sounds good.”

“Okay, well, I’ll get going.” Cole walked to the kitchen doorway. “I’ll be back in a jiff.”

Chuckling, Gabe nodded. “Okay, babe.” He glanced Cole’s way. “Love you.”

Cole winked. “Love you too, sexy.” He left the kitchen and moments later the apartment.

Bringing his coffee with him, Gabe returned to the bedroom and picked up his phone from the

night stand. He checked the missed calls. No name came up, but he recognized the number well

enough. Stomach grinding, he went to voicemail.

‘You wanted proof?’ Quint’s voice came through on the message. ‘Meet me at the clubhouse at

noon. You remember the clubhouse, don’t you, Gabriel?’ The message ended and Gabe snapped the

phone closed hard.

The clubhouse. The fact that Quint wanted them to meet up at that location confirmed Gabe’s

suspicions of just what the man’s intentions were. As if you were in any doubt.

“Shit.” Gabe’s lips tightened, jaw squeezing. He dropped down on the edge of the bed, head in

hands. He squeezed his hair until his eyes watered. “Fuck!”

Quint wanted to meet him at noon. But Cole was expecting them to go out for lunch. So you’ll

make up an excuse for why you can’t go to lunch . And lie to Cole? How many times–and how

severely–was he going to have to lie to the man he loved before all of this was over? He didn’t want

to think about the answer to that.

♦

“You should eat your breakfast.” Angel sat down at the table and slid Maddy’s plate back over to

him. The boy looked at the plucked apart pancakes, now saturated with syrup.

“I’m not hungry.”

Angel sighed. “Listen, Maddy.” He said quietly. “I know you’re upset. But Max will be fine. And

I’m sure whatever is bothering him has nothing to do with us.”

“I know.” Maddy whispered and went back to poking at his food.

“Want me to fix you some fresh pancakes?” He smiled softly. “But only if you promise to eat

them rather than dissecting them?”

A faint smile touched the boy’s lips. “No. I’m really not very hungry.”

This was the first time since getting away from Wade and the apartment that he’d seen his little

brother look so down and worried. Having been his everyday expression for most of his life, Angel

didn’t want it coming back. “Are you okay with me staying over at Dane’s?” He asked. “I would

understand if you weren’t. It isn’t like we’ve really spent any time apart before now. Not overnight

anyway.”

“No.” Maddy looked up. “I don’t have a problem with it. Dane’s a good guy and…” He shrugged

and dropped his gaze to his plate. “I like seeing you so happy after everything...” He swallowed thick.

“…you went through because of me.”

Angel frowned. “Maddy…you don’t blame yourself for any of that, do you?” He reached over

and squeezed his hand. “Because none of that was your fault.”

“Sometimes I think if I’d never been born…you could’ve got away from them a lot sooner. If…”

His lips pressed tight. “If you didn’t have to worry about me.”

“Maddy…” Angel’s heart squeezed. “I have never wished that you were never born. I love you.

It was you who kept me going, who gave me a reason to even want to be alive. I never felt any

bitterness towards you.” He combed his fingers through Maddy’s hair. “Not once.”

“I know.” Maddy looked at him with tears in his eyes. “You’re the best brother, Angel. And I’m

really glad you’re happy now. I prayed every night that God would make them stop hurting you and let

us be happy.”

“Oh Maddy.” Angel drew his head close and kissed his hair, blinking at his tears. “I am happy

now. Are you?”

The boy nodded. “Yes.” He murmured. “I love being here at Max’s. It just…” He sniffed and

wiped at his eyes. “It just kind of scared me to see him so upset. It reminded me of how things used to

be with us.”

“I understand.” Angel told him. “But you don’t have to let it scare you. Max will be okay. Dane’s

talking to him. I think he knows why Max was upset.” He touched the edge of Maddy’s plate. “Are

you sure you don’t want some more? ‘Cause I’m want some and since I was going to make them

anyway…”

“Okay.” Maddy smiled. “I’ll have some more.”

“Good boy.” Angel winked and stood up, ruffling his hair.

Maddy tugged away and laughed. “I’m not a dog.”

Laughing softly, Angel cocked his head. “Well, if we don’t do something about that mop of hair,

people might start mistaking you for the shaggy dog.”

“What’s wrong with my hair?” Maddy scowled.

Angel gripped his face gently and cooed, “It’s beginning to cover up your pretty face.”

“Shut up.” Maddy laughed and shoved his hand away. “I don’t have a pretty face.”

“All right then.” Angel smirked and walked to the counter. “Your cute, adorable face.”

The boy groaned. “Oh brother.”

“What’s wrong, bud?” Dane appeared in the doorway. His eyes were slightly bloodshot as if

he’d been crying, but he gave Angel a look that assured him things were okay. “Angel giving you a

hard time? Want me whip his butt?”

Maddy rolled his eyes. “He’d probably like it.”

“Shit.” Dane busted up and Angel stared at his little brother, stunned.

“Matthew Harris!”

Maddy snickered and shrugged. “Well, you probably would.”

Dane cocked an eyebrow and looked at Angel. “The boy’s got a point.”

“Don’t encourage him.” Angel shook his head and laughed. “And you, little brother, don’t be

giving this guy any ideas. His imagination is vast enough on its own.”

“But.” Dane interjected and approached Angel. “I’m always open to new ideas.” He wrapped his

arms around Angel’s waist and kissed his neck.

Angel shook his head. “And what makes you think you can just hug and kiss me after that?”

“’Cause I can.” Dane growled and hugged him tighter, seeking out his lips, planting a firm kiss on

his mouth. “And you can’t do anything about it because you’re not strong enough to pry me off you.”

When Angel resisted his embrace, Dane chuckled and held him secure. “See?”

“Oh come on.” Max entered the room. “He wasn’t even trying to get away.” He winked at Angel.

“Were you?” A mild redness rimmed the man’s eyes and a faint wet sheen remained. But he seemed

to have recovered and his good spirits returned.

“Nope.” Angel smiled then gazed up at Dane. “Just wanted you to feel like a big, strong man.”

“Yeah.” He chuckled and rubbed his scratchy chin against Angel’s sensitive neck, making him

squirm. “Sure.”

“Stop.” Angel shoved him away. “Don’t annoy the cook.” He grabbed the bowl of batter and

stirred it up.

Max glanced at Maddy then walked over to the table. “Hey.” He said softly. “Can I talk to you

for a minute? In the other room?”

Nodding, Maddy stood up. “Yeah.” He whispered. Max slipped his arm around the boy’s

shoulder and walked him out of the kitchen.

Dane and Angel watched them go. “Is he okay?” Angel asked quietly.

“Yeah.” Dane assured then looked at Angel. “I think it’s real good for him having you and Maddy

here. Maddy especially because I think he likes being in the father figure role.”

“That’s good for Maddy.” Angel murmured. “God knows we never had a decent father in our

life. He’s only ever had me to look out for him and take care of him. It’s nice that he’s bonding with

others now too.”

Dane wrapped him in his arms again and kissed his lips. “Well its way past due for both you and

Maddy to be happy and start living for you.”

“You, and Max, and the others,” Angel whispered and laid his head on Dane’s chest. “You make

it so much easier to do.” He tilted his face up for another kiss. “To be happy.”

Dane delivered the kiss and murmured softly, “You make it so much easier for me too, baby.”

♦

It seemed his whole life lately was one continuous déjà vu loop. Going to Max, making love,

leaving again, flying across the world trying to outrun the heartache, finding a boy that reminded him

of Max and playing ‘make believe’ until reality refused to remain at bay any longer, then running back

to Max again–only to start the cycle all over again.

He had yet to take to the skies once more, but it wouldn’t be long now. The floor to ceiling plate

glass window gave him the sensation of floating above the city in midair as he stared down from his

penthouse suite, a glass of scotch on the rocks cooling his palm. A mere few hours had passed since

he’d left Max, the man’s words running wild in his head and dropping down hard on his heart; Max

thought about how things used to be. Even what they could’ve been. Horatio had begun to doubt that

the man ever allowed himself to go there, spend time in that distant place where they had both been so

happy and in love.

It had been on the tip of his tongue to beg Max to tell him face to face that he still loved him. He

knew that he did, but it had been so long since he’d heard it straight from him, that his heart craved it

like a drug. The confession on the security camera had given him a mild fix, but he needed to hear it

from Max, out loud, man to man…lover to lover. But to make such a request would be unfair. He

caused Max enough pain just by coming around, he wouldn’t add to it. Maybe not speaking it out loud

too often was what got Max by. And even more so–never saying it to Horatio. Perhaps Max was

trying to spare Horatio any added anguish as well.

“It already hurts so fucking bad I want to die, baby.” He whispered and raised the glass to his

lips, eyes distant, empty as he watched the rays of sunlight begin to fissure through the skyscrapers

and illuminate the city below. “You’re not going to damage me anymore than I already am.”

Chapter Six

Den of Iniquity

‘Babe, something came up about the funeral. I have to take care of some stuff. I’m sorry, but I

probably won’t be back in time for lunch. I’ll make it up to you–any way you want. Love you,

Gabe.’

The note was waiting for Cole when he returned to the apartment less than forty minutes after

leaving Gabe. Apparently the call he’d received earlier had been about his dad’s funeral. The man

was taking it hard and Cole wished he would’ve waited for him to get home so he could’ve gone with

him. Dealing with the arrangements of a loved one’s death wasn’t something a person should have to

do alone.

He went to the living room, grabbed a random Mel Gibson movie off the shelf and put it in, then

sat down on the sofa. If they paid the guy enough, would ole Mel play in a gay movie? Possibly a gay

erotic movie? Cole chuckled. In his younger acting days, the man had an ass that wouldn’t quit. With

his erotic thoughts, came thoughts of Gabe and the hot actor and movie itself was phased out.

Something was bugging Cole and he tried like hell to pinpoint it, but it continuously evaded his

reach. When Gabe had told him about his dad, explained that that was why he’d been acting so off

lately, he knew the man was telling the truth. But something was missing. At least it felt like there

was. Cole just had no idea what. If the phone calls had been about his dad–who had Gabe been

arguing with during the call in Max’s office? Did his dad have blood relatives who were giving Gabe

a hard time? Cole didn’t feel like he was getting the whole story. But then, he wouldn’t push Gabe to

talk about things he wasn’t ready to talk about, especially right now when he was trying to deal with

his dad’s death.

Gabe had said he hadn’t mentioned it before because of everything else that had been going on

with Angel. But was he still trying not to burden Cole with it? Surely he knew Cole would want to be

there for him, to go through it with him. Maybe you’re making something out of nothing, he

reasoned. Maybe there wasn’t any more to the story. And if there were–then it was up to Gabe when,

or if, he told him.

Cole dropped his head against the backrest of the sofa and closed his eyes. He was considering

going back to sleep for another hour, clock in some added rest before he had to go back to the club.

He lay down on the sofa, tucked his arms under his head and crossed his ankles as he watched the

movie with heavy-lidded eyes.

He was just beginning to drift off when the doorbell rang and brought him back to the land of the

living. Groaning, he hauled himself off the sofa and ran his hands through his hair as he walked to the

front door. The doorbell rang a second time. “I’m coming.” He mumbled.

Two men stood on the other side; neatly dressed, but in no way resembling door-to-door

salesmen or religious solicitors. They both had a distinct Italian look that Cole usually only saw in

the movies. The sudden twist to his guts gave him pause to wonder just who they were and why they

were at his door. He couldn’t shake the sense of unease as he asked cautiously, “Can I help you?”

♦

For most, the mention of a Clubhouse would no doubt conjure up images from the Little Rascals

TV show, or The Adventures of Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn . But the “clubhouse” Gabe was

familiar with depicted nothing so innocent as a child’s fort. From the outside, it looked rather

shabby–just one of New York’s many forgotten, abandoned buildings left to decay into the concrete

jungle. But behind the façade was a richly furnished private quarters that Quint had set up long ago to

fly under his father’s and the family’s radar. Quint had liked to call it his Den of Iniquity. And in his

younger years, Gabe had become very familiar with the iniquity that had taken place behind those

walls.

The front entrance was a decoy, the doors locked up tight, windows concealed. The way in

consisted of one discreet door that was impossible to find unless one knew where to look.

Unfortunately, Gabe knew just where it was. And he had hoped to never set foot through it again for

as long as he lived. But his hopes were unrealized as he entered the door and found himself in the

dimly lit, narrow hallway that would lead him into the den.

The past was in there, waiting for him, welcoming him. Haunting him.

“Don’t be afraid.” Quinton told nineteen-year-old Gabriel as he walked him down the

shadowed hallway for the first time. “In here, nothing is taboo. You can let your wildest fantasies

run free.”

Gabriel glanced around anxiously. “What kind of…fantasies?”

Quint chuckled and rested his hand on Gabriel’s lower back as he ushered him forward. “Any

and all.” His hand slowly descended down over Gabriel’s ass and rubbed his firm cheeks through

the expensive slacks provided by Nathan. “And I know that, in some of those fantasies churning in

your lovely head…I’m in there as well.” He smiled at Gabriel. “Aren’t I?”

His heart pounding, Gabriel nodded. The man was only a few years older than him, but

seemed superior in so many ways. He had taken a liking to Gabriel the instant Nathan had

introduced them. And his interest hadn’t been something Gabriel was prepared for. It

overwhelmed him, even excited him that a man like Quinton Sanitini could be attracted to him. And

it was true–he’d had fantasies about Quint. He had lost his virginity a few years earlier to Griffin,

as part of the induction into the gang, to prove his loyalty and submission to the man. But never

during his time on the streets had he felt as “seduced” by someone as he was by Quint.

“Well,” Quint murmured and squeezed his ass. “Your fantasies are about to become reality.”

The memory of that first walk into Quint’s den of iniquity lingered heavily in the hallway as

Gabe made his way to the door at the far end. The security lock remained, requiring a code for

entrance. Since Quint hadn’t sent him any new code, Gabe assumed the old one was still active. It had

been years since he’d used it, and was a little troubled that it resurfaced so easily and accurately.

When he stepped through, it was like a portal into a past he had put behind him with no wish of

returning.

The place had always reminded Gabe of a gigolo’s quarters, and that wasn’t far off. The

wraparound plush sofa remained as he remembered it, though he was quick to shift his attention

elsewhere as unwelcome memories conjured up images of the sinful acts performed on it. Yet there

was nowhere in the large room that he could rest his eyes without disturbing memories resurfacing.

“Looks exactly the same, doesn’t it?” Quint perched on a stool at the small bar, drink in hand.

“Like a blast from the past, huh?” He chuckled. “To be honest, I didn’t use it nearly as much after you

left.”

Gabe refused to be baited. “You said you had proof.” He spoke low, tight. “So why did you ask

me here?”

“Thought you might like to see the place again.” Quint sipped his drink. “We had a lot of good

times here, didn’t we?”

“I wouldn’t know.” Gabe said stiffly. “You kept me so fucking drugged up it’s a wonder I even

remembered how to get here. And besides, I’m not here for a walk down fucking memory lane. If you

don’t have the proof, then I’m leaving.” He turned back towards the door.

“Wait.” Quint said. “Keep your pants on.” He smirked. “Or not.” He picked up a manila

envelope off the top of the bar and held it out to Gabe. “Here.”

Anxiety ate away at Gabe’s stomach as he crossed the room to the bar and took the envelope. He

shot Quint a hard look and dumped the contents onto the bar. Along with a few paper documents–was

a gold tooth. Gabe stared at it in quiet horror. “What the fuck is this?”

“You wanted proof.” Quint said casually. “Those are the legal documents of his death, and that,”

He indicated the tooth. “Is all that’s left of him but for an urn of ashes.”

Gabe stepped back from the bar, sickened. “I said I wanted to see the body.”

“He was cremated.” Quint said dryly. “I can show you the urn, if you wish.”

Shaking his head, Gabe stared at the man and grabbed the papers. “You think I don’t know how

easily these documents can be faked?” He threw them down on the bar as they scattered across the

top. “I’m not a fucking fool, Quint. And that–tooth–doesn’t mean shit. It could’ve come from anyone.

If this is all the proof you have, then we’re done.” He turned away.

“Nathan is dead, Gabriel.” Quint said sharply, standing to his feet. He had never really called

Nathan ‘dad’ or ‘father’. Had rarely shown the man any true respect at all. “The family is well aware

of this fact.”

Gabe faced him again, knowing the man spoke true but not wanting to believe it–for various

reasons.

“I’m sorry, but he is.” Quint’s voice lowered, softened.

Gabe shook his head slowly, eyes beginning to burn. “You’re not sorry.”

Quint shrugged and smiled. “You’re right. I’m not. And why should I be?” He arched a neatly

trimmed eyebrow. “Hm, Gabriel? Tell me why I should miss the motherfucker? I became obsolete to

the bastard the day he brought you home.”

“You alienated yourself, Quint!” Gabe fumed, stabbing a finger at him. “And you did it long

before I showed up. I was just a convenient excuse for your behavior.”

“That’s bullshit.” Quint murmured. “You were treated like the golden child the moment you

walked into our lives.”

And that’s why you took so much pleasure in doing what you did? Gabe didn’t bother voicing

the thought; he knew the answer.

“But it doesn’t really matter now.” The man said as a dry smile twisted his lips. “Nathan is dead.

And what was his–is now mine.”

His jaw tight, Gabe just looked at the man as Cole’s face suddenly rose up behind his eyes. His

throat knotted and he swallowed hard. “So let’s settle this once and for all. I have a life now, and I

don’t need it fucked up.”

Quint smiled. “Not just your life…but your relationship as well?”

“What?” Gabe’s stomach hurt.

“You really think I haven’t been monitoring your activities?” He wondered. “You think I don’t

know about your boyfriend?”

Gabe’s heart dropped. Just calm down. He doesn’t really know about Cole. He’s just fishing.

Don’t give up any details. “I don’t have a boyfriend.”

“Well,” Quint sighed. “Not anymore.”

His heart shuddering, Gabe whispered, “What the fuck are you talking about?”

“Perhaps you should trot on home and see for yourself.”

Chapter Seven

Safe & Sound

“You guys don’t have to babysit me.” Maddy informed Angel and Dane when they stayed behind

after Max went to the club. “I can take care of myself.”

They were all three lounging on the sofa, watching TV. Though Maddy’s attention had shifted to a

Men’s Fitness magazine he’d brought from his room. Dane studied the beautifully built man on the

cover. “Interested in working out?” He asked Maddy, then winked, “Or just interested in the cute

guys?” He and Angel laughed lightly. Maddy had displayed no same-sex tendencies whatsoever, but it

was fun to tease him. “Are you becoming gay by association?”

“No.” Maddy grumbled, though a smile dragged on his lips. “I thought it would be cool to lift

weights.”

“Well, I have a pretty nice setup at my place.” Dane told him. “I can help you put together a

routine, if you want.”

“Yeah?” Maddy glanced up and smiled. “Cool. Thanks.”

“No problem.” Dane grinned.

When Maddy left the room to grab a soda, Angel leaned against him and kissed his neck.

“Thanks.” He whispered. “You’re the best.”

“He’s a good kid.” Dane kissed Angel on the mouth. “And it’s good that he wants to work out.

It’s a healthy hobby.”

“Not to mention…” Angel slipped his hand under Dane’s shirt and rubbed his hard stomach. “…

it develops a fantastically hot bod.”

“Always a plus.” Dane winked then chuckled.

Angel rested his chin in his shoulder and sighed. “Do you wish I was more buff?”

“Babe,” Dane squeezed his arm around his shoulder. “As long as you’re willing to be in the

buff…I’m fine with your sexy lean body.” He kissed him, sucking his lower lip. “Your body drives

me wild.”

Maddy reappeared and Dane drew back, his crotch beginning to throb. “If you guys want to go

get a room somewhere, away from here…” Maddy nodded matter-of-factly. “It’s okay by me.”

“Shit.” Dane chuckled. “The boy is blunt.” He kissed Angel’s hair and murmured, “Though I

can’t say I’m hating the idea.” Last night had been their first night together since their nightmare had

ended, and though they had made love again this morning, Dane’s passion and hunger for the boy was

nowhere near sated. And Angel’s tense grip on Dane’s thigh let him know the young man was as eager

to be back in his arms and his bed as Dane was to have him there.

“Just go.” Maddy rolled his eyes. “I’m fine here alone.”

Angel seemed reluctant to leave him. “We can hang out for awhile longer.”

“You don’t have to.” Maddy said. It was clear the boy understood why Angel was staying. He

looked at his older brother with warmth. “Really, Angel. I’m okay. You don’t have to worry about me

anymore.”

Sighing softly, Angel nodded. “Okay.” He murmured. “I’ll try to remember that.” He glanced at

Dane and squeezed his knee. “Since we’re being dismissed, shall we go?”

Dane scooted forward then stood up. “Yeah, I guess we should.” He smiled. “Before the future

bodybuilder throws us out.”

“That’s right.” Maddy smirked, then laughed when Angel grabbed his head and gave him a

noogie, then kissed his hair.

“Seriously,” Angel said. “We need to do something about this mop.”

“Well you shouldn’t have a problem finding someone to cut it.” Maddy smiled wryly. “With all

your gay friends–one of them has to be a hair dresser.”

“Oh god.” Dane broke into laughter as Angel grabbed the boy again and administered another

dose of noogies.

“You’re getting too cocky for your own good.” Angel laughed and released the kid. But his eyes

glowed with the joy and relief that his little brother was doing well and displaying no visible signs of

emotional damage from the horrific life they had lived.

♦

Perhaps you should trot on home and see for yourself.

The man’s ominous tone had punched holes in Gabe’s heart; he wasn’t fucking around. He knew

about Cole.

Gabe hadn’t wasted time trying to get it out of the man what he had done. He was gone seconds

after Quint’s heart rending suggestion, racing out of the Den and back to his car. You motherfucker!

If you hurt him–I swear to God I’ll fucking bury you!

Traffic seemed to have a vendetta against him, holding him back, slowing his return to the

apartment. His breath came in short, choppy gasps, the cars and streets blurring and shimmering. He

wouldn’t do anything. Not yet anyway. He might not even really know about Cole. He was just

trying to scare you. Cole is fine–he is!

His self-assurance did little to halt the tears dripping down his face. Why the fuck had he thought

the past wouldn’t come back on him like this? Because Nathan had been in control. Was it

coincidence that just one year before Gabe was free of it all–that Nathan had suddenly died? Would

Quint really go so far as to have his own father killed just to get what he wanted? And if he would…

who’s to say he would give a second thought to disposing of anyone in Gabe’s life who might become

a problem?

His mind coming together long enough to grab his cell phone, Gabe called Cole. “Come on,

baby.” He whispered tightly, throat closing. “Answer your phone.” But the call went to voicemail

instead. “Cole.” He spoke into the phone, trying not to sound alarmed in case nothing was wrong.

“Look, babe, give me a call as soon as you get this, okay? As soon as you get it.” His hand shook. “I

love you.” He started to break down and closed the cell, dropping it in the passenger seat. “Fuck!” He

slammed the steering wheel, fear and frustration taking over. The traffic ahead crawled forward.

“Move already!” He screamed at the cars while his heart beat painfully at his ribs.

Please, God, let Cole be okay. And please get these cars out of my way.

The pace of traffic picked up suddenly, causing an eerie tickle in Gabe’s gut; maybe there was a

God out there somewhere who stopped to listen now and then. Even so, he still felt trapped on the

streets, in his car, needing an unobstructed path straight back to the apartment.

When a break opened before him, Gabe dove into it like a seasoned New York City driver,

weaving through the other cars and finally emerging into open street. He stomped on the gas and the

car surged forward. If a cop caught his tail, he would just have to follow him back to the apartment.

But he somehow avoided detection and made it back without any further delays.

He struggled to keep his cool when he pushed through the apartment door, but his heart was

racing wildly, fueled by a debilitating fear. “Cole.” He called, his feet moving swiftly down the short

entry hall. “Cole, are you here?” He shot a quick look into the kitchen and found it empty, then another

into the living room–equally vacant. Come on, baby, be here. “Cole!”

He threw open the bedroom door but there was no sign of the man. He just went out for lunch, or

to the club. This doesn’t mean anything . But Cole’s car had still been parked outside. If he was

gone–he hadn’t left alone.

Panic began to squeeze his chest. “Cole!” He choked and turned around–crashing into a hard

chest.

“What?” Cole grunted and grabbed him on reflex as the Gabe fell against him. “What’s wrong?”

“Where were you?” Gabe shuddered.

“I was asleep on the sofa,” he said, his heavy eyes confirming. “Until your hollering woke me

up.”

“Why didn’t you answer your phone?” Gabe demanded.

Cole frowned. “Like I said, I was asleep.” His brow pinched tighter. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” Gabe whispered then hugged him with desperation, trembling. The tears struck too

suddenly to halt and he kissed Cole’s neck then his mouth, urgent hands tugging at the man’s clothes.

Cole broke out of the intense kiss, gasping. “Babe, what’s going on? What’s wrong?”

“I’ve just had a really fucked up day.” Gabe choked. Cole didn’t resist as he stripped off his

shirt. “And I need you to help me forget about it.” His throat worked as fresh tears welled up.

“Please, baby,” he kissed him again, hard, panting. “Please just fuck it away.”

♦

He had never seen Gabe so upset or desperate, but now wasn’t the time for twenty questions.

What the man needed wasn’t a heart to heart conversation, not right now anyway. Cole moved him

into the bedroom, peeling off Gabe’s shirt, their hands and mouths all over each other. Their pants

came off quickly, then they were on the bed. Cole barely had time to coat his erection with saliva

before Gabe was on his hands and knees, shoving back onto him.

“Fuck.” Cole gasped at the man’s urgency and force as he didn’t wait for Cole, and began to fuck

him hard and fast. “Oh my god.” Cole grabbed his hips and joined in, driving his rigid cock into his

lover with deep, powerful thrusts. “Uuh! Gabe!” Cole shouted, jaw clenched. He wouldn’t last long

under these conditions.

Gabe clawed the blankets and slammed back against him, every muscle tensed and straining,

breath hissing between clenched teeth. “Harder!” He choked. “Come on, Cole! Fuck me harder!”

Tears thickened his anxious, desperate voice. Now and then, a sob burst up his throat. Cole wanted

ask what was so wrong, but his mind was spinning, fragmenting his thoughts and he knew nothing

coherent would emerge from his lips until he unloaded.

He leaned over Gabe’s back and slid his arms under the man’s chest and locked him in as he

pounded his ass. Gabe yelled and wailed, and begged for more–demanded more–as the bed shook

precariously beneath them. Cole panted hard against Gabe’s hot, slick skin, his lips pressed tight to

the man’s shoulder as he fucked him wildly, roughly.

“Ahhh!” Gabe shouted and grabbed his cock, beating himself off as Cole took him from behind.

“Fuuuck! Yes! Give it to me! Fuck! Fuck me!”

Cole was at his breaking point, and he could feel the same tension squeezing Gabe’s body,

twisting up his muscles. “Fuck, Gabe!” He cried. “I’m gonna come!”

In reply, Gabe tugged at his cock more urgently as he impaled himself again and again on Cole’s

pulsing rod. His body jerked suddenly and he yelled loud, coming hard. “Fuuck!”

That’s all it took to shove Cole on over the edge he was barely balanced on–and he released

with so much force he was sure his heart stopped for a moment or two. He clung to Gabe. Nails

digging into the man’s chest, body sucking tight against his lover, only his hips moving as he fucked

through the orgasm. “Fuck! Gabe! Uuh!”

When they both collapsed onto the bed, Cole’s body still burned with the last vestiges of his

orgasm, his cock ultra-sensitive and still buried deep inside Gabe’s fevered body, the man’s inner

sleeve squeezing his pulsing flesh. “Oh fuck, baby.” Cole panted hard and kissed all across his sweat

slick shoulders then down his back as he slowly pulled out of him. His lips trailed down to the man’s

flushed, reddened cheeks and kissed the firm mounds, then worked back up to the nape of his neck as

he wrapped Gabe in his arms again. “I love you, baby.” He shuddered, breath breaking, sticking. “I

love you so much.”

Gabe laid face down in the pillow, body still rigid with tension. Tremors ran through him, piggy-

backed on the occasional sob.

Caressing his back and sides, Cole kissed his damp hair, his neck. “Gabe, babe…tell me what’s

wrong. Please.”

The man shook his head slowly and pulled Cole’s arms tighter around him. “I don’t want to talk

about it right now.” He whispered thickly. “Just hold me.”

And Cole did, squeezing the man in his embrace, his cheek against his damp shoulder as a fear he

couldn’t account for seeped through his chest and permeated his heart.

Chapter Eight

To All Intents & Appearances

He didn’t know about Cole. He was just playing mind games with you . Gabe tried to find some

semblance of comfort in that possibility. Though the way Gabe had rushed out of the clubhouse–if

Quint hadn’t known before that Gabe had a boyfriend, he did now. Even so, the man had been

bluffing, trying to scare Gabe into thinking he knew exactly where Cole lived and could get to him

anytime he chose.

But Cole was safe, untouched. Gabe pressed closer to the man’s warm body and listened to the

even rhythm of his breath as he slept, exhausted from their quick but forceful session. He kissed

Cole’s chest then his neck. “I love you, Cole.” He whispered close to his ear. “I would lose my mind

if I lost you.”

Cole’s arm shifted and his hand rubbed up Gabe’s back. “Why would you lose me?” He

mumbled, drifting up out of his slumber.

“I’m just saying.” Gabe murmured.

A sigh escaped the man and Cole turned his head, gazing as Gabe with sleepy eyes. “Baby, a

herd of wild horses couldn’t drag me away from you.” He smiled. “You’re stuck with me.”

“I hope so.” Gabe said quietly then kissed his lips.

Cole moaned, deepened the kiss then drew back, running his fingers through his hair. “Oh. I

almost forgot to tell you.” He yawned and rubbed his face. “A couple guys came to the apartment

earlier. Italian. Asking for you.”

Gabe’s mind shattered, a sudden crippling fear squeezing his heart. “What did they want?” He

whispered thickly.

“I don’t know.” Cole said. “When I told them you weren’t here, they said they would come back

later. Do you know who they were?”

“Uh, yeah.” Gabe rasped. “They were from my dad’s family. It was probably something about the

funeral.”

“Your dad was Italian?”

“Yeah.”

“Why didn’t they leave a message for me to give you?”

Gabe licked his lips slowly. “They, uh…they’re a very private family.”

“Uh-huh.” Cole murmured then glanced at the clock. “Do you want to have a late lunch before we

go to the club?”

“Sure.” Gabe whispered without enthusiasm, feeling sick.

Cole left the bed and began to dress. “Shit,” he chuckled. “When I opened the door and saw two

Italian guys standing there,” He looked at Gabe. “I thought for minute someone put a mob hit out on

me.”

The short laugh that came from Gabe lacked humor in any form.

♦

The prospect of returning to the club that evening dropped a lead ball in Ricky’s gut that left him

slightly confused, and a little bit irritated, though he really didn’t know why. Levi’s unexpected

arrival at his apartment early that morning–and then that point he’d deemed it necessary to make–had

had Ricky’s thoughts and nerves all in a jumble. Repeatedly, he’d tried to tell himself that the guy had

pinned him to the wall before he could do anything about it. But the reality was–Ricky was more

strongly built than Levi and could have easily shoved him away. Yet he hadn’t even tried to resist.

No fuck, you didn’t resist. You had your leg wrapped around him, practically humping the

guy. So Levi had proven to himself that Ricky was eager to fuck him. Which would have been fine–

had Ashton not been in the mix. Now Ricky had to come to work tonight and watch Levi and Ashton

rub all over each other, knowing exactly what had happened last night between the two men.

What the fuck do you care? Ricky berated himself harshly. You wanted to fuck the guy–not

marry him! It isn’t like you can’t find some other hot guy to bump and grind with.

“Want another?”

Ricky glanced up at Carl, startled by the man’s sudden presence in front of him. “Uh, yeah. Sure.”

He mumbled. “Keep ‘em coming.”

Frowning, Carl smiled and set a fresh chilled bottle of beer before him. “You okay, Ricky?”

Ricky sighed then shrugged and downed a gulp of beer. “Yeah. I guess.” He looked at Carl,

studying his strong, masculine face and extremely fit body. “You got a boyfriend, Carl?”

“Boyfriend?” Carl’s brow pinched as he stared at Ricky with a puzzled look on his handsome

face. “I’m not gay. You didn’t know that?”

Shock burst across Ricky’s face, then embarrassment as he looked away. “No…uh…Sorry, man.

I didn’t know. Shit.” He shoved his hand through his hair and shook his head. “Fuck, I feel like an

idiot.”

Carl chuckled.

“What?” Ricky frowned.

“I’m just fucking with you.” Carl grinned. “I’m so gay I shit rainbows.”

Ricky exhaled hard. “You prick.” He laughed short. “Fuck, I thought you were serious.” He

shook his head. “Gotta say, I was really disappointed there for a moment, and also thinking it was a

good thing I hadn’t made a move on you yet.”

Leaning on his elbows on the bar, Carl cocked an eyebrow. “Yet?”’

Shrugging, Ricky said, “Well, I just thought you might like to get out of here sometime and…” He

let the sentence drift off as he smiled at the bartender.

“And…what?” Carl smirked. “I want details.”

“Censored details?” Ricky asked with a flirtatious tone. “Or the raw nasty details?”

Carl chuckled and ducked his head a moment then looked up. “Why are you propositioning me?”

He asked. “When we both know you’d much rather get down and dirty with Levi?”

Groaning, Ricky picked up his beer and muttered, “Fuck Levi.” Then took another drink.

“Precisely.” Carl winked.

“Huh-uh.” Ricky scowled sourly. “He’s got a hard-on for the new guy–Ashton.” He rolled his

eyes and downed more beer. “Practically dropped to his knees and sucked him the second he met

him.”

“Shit.” Carl laughed and shook his head, grinning. “Not jealous are we?”

Ricky groaned again. “Why the fuck does everyone think I’m jealous? I don’t give a flying fuck

what that little slut does–or who he does.”

“Slut?” Carl smirked. “Isn’t that the pot calling the kettle black? Hm?” He chuckled.

“Hey.” Ricky said. “I wasn’t trying to imply I wasn’t one too. But he’s just…more of one.” He

twisted the beer bottle. “So…what do you say?” He smiled smartly. “Wanna go out sometime and

fuck each other’s brains out?” He tipped up the bottle and downed the remainder of the beer.

“Well now,” Carl drew in a deep breath and rubbed his hand over his mouth. “Can’t say I’m not

tempted, but…” His blue/gray eyes shifted off Ricky suddenly, looking past him. Ricky turned and

followed his stare to Max sitting at his private table, going over some papers laid out before him.

“Should’ve known.” Ricky muttered. “Can’t compete with the older men. They just got it going

on–without even trying.” He twisted back around and eyed Carl. “You really got a thing for him? Or

is it just one of those random fantasies you indulge in when you’re…alone?” He smirked.

Carl grinned, “Well, the fantasies certainly help during my… alone time.” He admitted. “Whether

it’s more than that, I don’t know. Probably not. He doesn’t see me that way.”

“So make him see you that way.” Ricky smiled.

“And how would I do that?” Carl mused. “Throw myself at him?”

“Why not?” Ricky shrugged, then added sourly, “Get Levi to teach you how.”

Laughing, Carl said, “Boy, he’s really got you all twisted up, doesn’t he?”

I wish, Ricky thought, instantly annoyed with himself for still wanting the guy.

♦

The prickling sensation around the nape of Max’s neck raised his eyes from the papers as the

feeling of being watched grew more intense. He glanced around the club and steadily accumulating

bodies when his eyes passed over the bar and caught on Carl’s stare. The man held his gaze for a

brief moment then looked away. Max watched him for a few seconds longer then returned his focus to

the papers. But he found himself repeatedly glancing his way.

He had recently begun to take notice of the man more and more, but to seriously consider

anything between him and Carl was surely ridiculous–wasn’t it? The man was beautiful, and entirely

fuckable, but Dane’s suggestion that he try and develop a serious, committed relationship had been

lingering on his mind. He wasn’t simply looking for someone to fuck. He needed more if he hoped to

combat his feelings for Horatio.

A sudden ache cut through him and last night sprang into his thoughts, the memory of him and

Horatio making love. The man did things to him both emotionally and physically that no one else

could match. Dane had come the closest. To some degree, he loved Dane. And had he not had Angel

in his life, Max would have likely pursued a much deeper relationship with the man. If anyone could

help him cope with his love for Horatio, it was Dane. But he was no longer an option. And Carl?

Well, he didn’t really take Carl to be the type to commit. Rather the confirmed bachelor, play the field

type. Of course, those were mere assumptions; he really didn’t know how the man conducted his

personal life.

Just forget about it. All of it. He couldn’t see how it would be fair, to anyone, for him to attempt

a committed relationship. Maybe he could love another, as he had Dane, but it wouldn’t reach deep to

the core of his heart and uproot Horatio. The man was in there to stay. So, basically, Max was fucked.

Damned if you do, damned if you don’t.

A fresh glass of scotch was set before him and he looked up, startled. Lost in his thoughts, he

hadn’t noticed Carl leave the bar and approach his table. “Thought you might need another shot of go

juice.” Carl smiled and his intriguing eyes held Max’s stare.

“Uh, yeah.” Max cleared his throat and rubbed his mouth. “Thanks.”

“You feeling okay, boss?” Carl asked, real concern tinting his voice. “You look beat.”

Max smiled, but it felt tired. “I feel beat.” He said quietly, then sighed. “Could probably do with

a little more quality sleep.” He hadn’t slept much at all lately. When Dane–or Horatio–wasn’t in his

bed, then he tossed and turned all night, missing the presence. Aching for a body to hold, arms to

wrap around him. He hadn’t been with Dane for over two weeks, and last night was the first time

Horatio had been there in about three weeks.

“How is everything working out with Angel and Maddy staying with you?” Carl sat down on the

edge of the booth seat opposite Max.

“Great.” Max said. “I like having them there. Though I suspect I won’t be seeing as much of

Angel, now that he and Dane have worked out their kinks.” He smiled; he was happy for the boys. He

missed having Dane in his bed, missed their intimate, private times together, but he was glad to see

the man with his true love. And the very miracle of that relationship was almost enough to give him

hope that maybe a miracle awaited him and Horatio. Almost. But he wasn’t so foolish as to truly

believe it. They were broken–and there was no magical fix-it remedy to put them back together.

“That’s good.” Carl nodded. “Angel and his little brother went through hell. It’s nice they have

you and Dane to turn to. And Cole and Gabe.”

“Yeah.” Max murmured, a little startled at the mild quickness of his pulse as he looked at Carl.

“As far as I’m concerned, they can stay for as long as they want.” He shrugged. “I haven’t felt part of

a personal family since…” He looked away. “Well, not for a very long time.”

Silence settled over them as they both seemed at a sudden loss for words. Max began toying with

the notion of asking the man out, but came nowhere near offering the invitation aloud when Carl stood

up. “I guess I should get back to work.” He smiled and winked, “Before the boss catches me slacking

off.”

That wink caused a funny glitch in Max’s pulse. “Oh, I think he might let it slide this one time.”

Carl laughed softly. “Gotta love a boss like that.” He walked away, and Max watched him return

to the bar.

Gotta love a boss like that. Max sat there looking at the man from across the room, trying to

decide if those words required deeper analysis–or if they should simply be taken as is.

Chapter Nine

Restitution

“Hey.” Carl nodded to Angel and Dane when they approached the bar. “How’s it going?”

“Great.” Dane slid onto a stool as Angel went around behind the bar. “How’s your evening?”

Chuckling, Carl shook his head. “Well, let’s see. I got propositioned by Ricky.”

“What?” Dane chuffed.

Angel stepped over, suddenly interested. “Ricky?” He laughed.

“Really?” Dane snorted. “I thought he was all hot and ready to stick it to Levi.”

Angel didn’t miss the slightly cynical tone to Dane’s voice, and smiled; the man still wasn’t

happy with Ricky over the lessons he had given Angel, and making mention of asking Angel on a

date–which he never did, and hadn’t intended to. It had all been a ploy cooked up by Cole and Gabe

to make Dane jealous.

“Yeah, well.” Carl leaned on the bar. “Apparently the new guy has Levi’s jeans steaming.”

“New guy?” Angel frowned. “Who’s that?”

“Name’s Ashton.” Carl said. “About twenty-three or twenty-four. Quite the hottie. According to

Ricky–Levi was ready to blow him the second he introduced himself.” He grinned.

“Not surprised.” Dane rolled his eyes. “But Ricky was probably just jealous because he didn’t

get to the guy first. They’re both a couple of sluts.”

Angel ducked his head and laughed softly.

“What?” Dane eyed him, a half smile on his lips.

“Nothing.” Angel cleared his throat and grinned.

“What?” Dane insisted when Carl chuckled as well.

“Nothing. It’s just…” Angel’s lips tightened as he suppressed a smile. “It’s cute how you’re still

jealous of Ricky, even now.”

“Jealous of Ricky?” Dane shook his head then stood up, reached across the bar and grabbed

Angel’s head, kissing his hair. “Your brain is leaking, baby. I was never jealous of that little walking

disease.”

“Of course not.” Angel smirked.

Dane groaned and looked at Carl. “Put him to work.” He kissed Angel. “I’m going to go see Max,

and you…” He ruffled his hair. “You plug up that leak.” He laughed and walked away from the bar.

“Think he’ll ever really like Ricky?” Carl mused, grinning.

“I wouldn’t bet on it.” Angel laughed softly. “Not sure how well he liked him to begin with.”

“Well, if we all got along perfectly.” Carl surmised. “We wouldn’t be a normal family here at

our little home away from home.”

“I think we’re about as far from normal as a family can get.” Angel laughed.

Carl shrugged. “Ah well.” He sighed. “Normal is boring anyway.” He looked over at Max and

Dane. “So, is your boy going to go back to dancing?” Carl leaned on his elbow and cocked an

eyebrow at Angel. “Or have you forbid him from shaking that sexy ass for other men?”

It had been Dane’s choice not to dance. Angel wasn’t eager to see him to go back out on the floor

or the stage, but he also knew Dane had a passion for dancing, and Angel wouldn’t allow any petty

jealousy to stand in the way if the man decided he wanted to return to it.

“No.” Angel smiled. “If he wants to dance, he can dance.”

“And what about you?”

“What about me?” Angel frowned.

“Are you ever going to dance again?”

Angel sighed and shook his head. “I never really danced in the first place.” He said. “Never

quite got that far before…” He fell silent, feeling queasy at the memory of why Wade had sent him

here. With it all being said and done, he supposed he should thank the bastard. If he had never come

here, he wouldn’t have met Dane, and he and Maddy would still be living in hell.

Carl squeezed his shoulder with affection. “Hey, it’s okay.” He said softly. “Everyone knows

that wasn’t your fault. That fucker was using Maddy for leverage. Any one of us would have done the

same things to protect the ones we loved. You’re free and clear of blame.”

“Thanks.” Angel murmured. He didn’t feel guilt for doing what he had to do to keep Maddy safe.

But he worried about Maddy. A part of the boy blamed himself for what Angel had suffered. But

perhaps living in a stable environment now, with people who loved and cared for him, maybe he

could rise above it and understand that the blame lay with Wade–and that Maddy himself had had no

say or control over the awful things that had happened to Angel.

♦

Since Gabe had come home and insisted Cole fuck away his bad morning, he’d been waiting for

the guy to open up and give him some details. But Gabe had remained closed up. Turmoil churned

behind his baby blues, and seemed to intensify each time he looked at Cole. Did all this really have to

do with the death of his dad? And if so–why wouldn’t he talk about? He had never held back from

Cole, and knew he could expose his feelings without being ridiculed. Fuck, they had both cried in

front of the other. It wasn’t like they felt the need to put on a macho air. If Gabe needed to break down

and just let out his grief over the loss of his dad, he knew Cole’s shoulder was right there to help bear

the burden.

Rather than ride to work with Cole, Gabe had said he needed to grab something from his place

first and took his own car. Cole hated that he was beginning to question the things Gabe told him,

wondering if he was really being honest about where he was going, what he was doing. Yet despite

Gabe’s reclusive behavior lately, Cole trusted the man. Gabe would talk to him eventually, and until

then–he just had to put faith in the man he loved.

He greeted Trevor at the door and entered the club, zigzagging through the male bodies. Before

he even made it across the room, an arm snaked around him from behind and stuffed a thick wad of

cash down his pants. He expected to come face to face with Faron Ryland when he turned around–

after their little deal a couple weeks ago, the guy was more obsessed with him than ever. Cole

supposed he could cut Gabe some slack in not revealing all to him, for Cole had yet to tell Gabe

about that particular session in the private booth with the octopus.

But it wasn’t Ryland who had stuffed his crotch.

Cole met the pair of dark eyes staring back at him with cool intent. What–is there a mobster

convention in town or what? The man was Italian and neatly groomed, sporting a classy Italian suit.

His pencil thin mustache and goatee didn’t have a hair or whisker out of place. Cole had never seen

him before. “Good evening.” Cole smiled, turning on his charm. “And what can I do for you tonight,

handsome?”

The man stepped closer until his body grazed Cole’s, their crotches brushing together invitingly.

“Why don’t we go somewhere private,” The man murmured with a strong Italian accent. “Where we

can discuss such…options?”

Cole smiled. “It’s a date.” He licked his lips slowly as the man’s eyes followed his tongue.

“How about I go change into something more…comfortable?” He suggested. “And you wait for me in

the first booth over there.” When the man nodded, Cole added, “Do you want to hold onto your cash?”

“No.” The guy rubbed his hand down over Cole’s crotch and squeezed the bundle of bills against

his cock. “I trust you to come back to me.”

“Indeed. I will.”

When the man winked at him and walked away towards the private booths, Cole went to the

dressing room and stripped out of his clothes, slipping on a black shimmery G-string then a pair of

tight black leather pants. Half the thrill of the private dance for the customer was watching the dancer

strip.

“Hey, Cole.”

Cole glanced at the dressing room doorway. “Levi.” He winked. “How’s it hangin’?” He

chuckled.

“Long and hard.” Levi smirked, then motioned to the man behind him. “You met Ashton, right?”

Cole nodded then stepped over and held out his hand. “Yeah.” Ashton shook his hand. “Good to

have you at the club.”

“Thanks.”

“So…” Levi looked around. “Seen Ricky tonight?”

“No.” Cole said. “But I just got here. Probably making his rounds on the floor.”

Levi smiled darkly. “Perfect.” He turned to Ashton. “Ready for your first stage performance?”

“Ready when you are.”

Chuckling, Cole shook his head. “You’re a cruel, evil little leprechaun, Levi.”

The young man shrugged, lips twisting. “Sometimes a boy has to be cruel to be kind.”

“If you say so.” Cole laughed then moved towards the door. “I gotta go. Can’t keep the big

spenders waiting.”

♦

The cowboy was waiting for him at a table in the back of the dimly lit pub. The man stood and

held out his hand. “Gabriel.”

“Clint.” Gabe shook his hand then sat down across from him. “Thanks for meeting me.”

“Always my pleasure.” He took a drink of his dark ale then asked, “You get your other problem

worked out? From a couple weeks ago?”

“Yeah.” Gabe nodded, then smiled. “All taken care of.” He shifted on the cushioned bench and

leaned on the table. “Is it official?” He asked low. “Nathan’s death? Is he really…?”

Clint’s lips tightened and he dropped his gaze to his drink. “As far as I know–what Quint says is

the truth.” He raised his eyes slowly. “I’m sorry, Gabriel. Nathan was a good man. He loved you like

a son.”

Sighing, Gabe nodded. “I loved him like a father.” He murmured then rubbed his eyes. “How can

we know that Quint’s being honest without seeing Nathan’s body?”

“I know you don’t want to accept it—”

“No fuck, I don’t want to accept it!” Gabe hissed loud, then calmed when he drew attention. He

sat back and raked his fingers through his hair. “I mean, fuck, Clint. I have a good life, and…” His

throat tightened. “And an amazing boyfriend. Quint…he’s going to…” Gabe’s eyes burned and he

swallowed hard. “He’s going to fuck it all up.” He looked at Clint, the man’s face blurring before

him. “Take it all away.”

Clint sniffed and dragged his hand over his mouth. “Nathan wouldn’t have wanted this.”

Gabe shrugged, tears thick. “It doesn’t matter anymore what Nathan would have wanted.” He

whispered. “It’s in Quint’s hands now. And we both know full fucking well what he’s going to do

with it.”

“So what are you going to do?”

Shaking his head, Gabe’s lips tightened to a thin line. “What the fuck can I do?” he asked thickly.

“I can’t get out of this. And when Cole finds out…” He ducked his head, throat working as he fought

the tears. “I’m going to lose him.”

“You can’t tell him about it?”

“No.” He shook his head. “Quint will make it a stipulation that I not tell him. He will want to

revel in the pain it causes me to lie to Cole, and the pain it causes Cole.” He met Clint’s stare. “This

isn’t about restitution for Quint. It’s about revenge.”

Chapter Ten

Prospects of Love

The man’s fingers did a little extra groping as he slowly worked the folded bills down inside

Ricky’s tight pants, tucking the cash snugly into his crotch. His hand remained crammed inside the

confined space, getting a nice feel of Ricky’s cock. He didn’t reprimand him but rather pushed

himself into his palm as he scooted closer to the man in the booth seat.

“I want your pants off.” The guy panted hard, breath rushing up his throat as Ricky rubbed up

against him, stroked his fingers through his hair and rocked his hips gently against the man’s hand. He

reached down and danced his fingertips across the customer’s bulging crotch, causing the man groan

in agony.

“You gotta pay extra for private time.” Ricky breathed in his ear, flicking his tongue.

“Anything.” The guy whimpered.

Gotcha, baby. Ricky smiled and kissed his cheek, started to scoot out of the half-moon booth–

when the music from the stage, which had died down with the end of the recent routine, suddenly

blared again and Levi emerged on stage, his slick, glistening body gyrating out to the edge of the stage

then around the perimeter, his beautiful sexy ass swaying, shaking, driving the men wild. He danced

back to the pole then stopped and grinned at the crowd.

“Let’s take those hands out from under the tables and give a huge Phoenix club welcome to our

newest recruit!” He swung around the pole and motioned towards the curtains at the back of the stage.

“Ashton!”

Ricky’s blood sizzled as Ashton burst out of the curtains in skin tight white pants and no shirt,

moving perfectly with the music, hips popping, ass swaying, body curving and rocking. The crowd

was on its feet, shouting, hands reaching, bills waving in the air.

“Fuck!” Ricky’s customer was staring at the stage, eyes following Ashton’s every move.

He resisted the urge to grab the guy’s crotch and squeeze until he cried in pain. He tried to ignore

and deny his own swelling erection as Ashton turned every cock in the house to instant steel. When he

moved to the edge of the stage and turned his back to the crowd, Levi joined him, rubbing bodies. His

hands snaked around and grabbed Ashton’s ass, gripped hard–then ripped the man’s pants off,

exposing a beautifully tight ass with a mere string running up between his cheeks.

The men exploded into a frenzy as Levi and Ashton began a dirty, seductive dance together,

bodies glued to one another, crotches bumping and grinding.

“I have to get a closer look.” Ricky’s customer left the table and made his way towards the stage,

joining in the frenzy.

Scowling, Ricky muttered, “Prick.” He glared at the two men on stage. You, motherfuckers, owe

me for this customer. As if his thoughts were forceful enough to reach out telepathically, Levi spun

around, slammed his ass against Ashton’s crotch and looked right at Ricky–and winked.

You dick, Ricky thought sourly, you think you’re making me jealous? Think again. His hand

snapped up and he gave him the finger.

Levi grinned and covered his heart with his hand and shot Ricky a dreamy “Awww” look, then

grabbed Ashton’s hands and rubbed them down his stomach and over his crotch as he swirled his ass

against the man’s cock.

“Whore.” Ricky muttered, unmindful of the fact that that was pretty close to how he had been

dancing with Angel, just to piss off Dane and make him jealous. He was beginning to understand the

man more and more.

♦

“You’ve got some fucking sexy moves.” The man gripped Cole’s hips as he straddled his lap and

worked his magic. “What’s your name, beautiful?”

Cole smiled and rubbed his hands up the man’s chest, dipping down to brush his lips across his

ear. “Cole.”

“Mmm.” The man rubbed up Cole’s ribs. “I like it.”

“What’s yours?” Cole blew into his ear as he dropped his hips and bumped teasingly against the

man’s bulging crotch.

Panting and puffing, the guy groaned, “Quinton.” He smiled. “But those who make my cock hard

can call me Quint.”

“Then Quint it is.” Cole winked and sat in his lap, rocking his hips, grinding their hard members.

The man rubbed his hands over Cole’s ass and lifted up to him. “So tell me, Cole.” He moaned,

pumping lightly against Cole’s crotch. “A sexy guy like you got a boyfriend?”

Gabe’s face flashed in his mind, and he smiled. “Oh yeah.” He murmured. “Quite the hottie, too.”

“He work here too?”

“He does, in fact.” Cole lifted off the man and stepped out of his lap, swaying and turning his ass

to him as he lowered again, taunting Quint’s cock with light grazes of his ass.

“Bet you two are fucking hot in bed.” Quint panted.

Cole laughed low then groaned. “You have no idea.”

“Your boyfriend give good head?”

“Blows my mind.”

Quint caressed his ass and up his back. “Maybe sometime we could all three get together in the

VIP room. Both of you dance for me?”

“Maybe.” Cole murmured and sat lower into his lap. The guy’s cock strained against his briefs

through the open fly of his pants. “I’m sure I could convince my man to join us.”

“You know,” Quint panted, pushing up against his ass. “I would pay a shitload to see you two

fuck each other. Think that’s a possibility? It doesn’t have to be here at the club.”

This guy was definitely wanting more than his allotment. “Sorry.” Cole murmured. “We’re only

dancers. All our fucking is done in privacy.”

“Ah that’s too bad.” Quint rubbed down Cole’s thighs. “Maybe you should talk it over with your

boyfriend before you decide.”

“Don’t need to.” Cole assured. “He wouldn’t be willing.”

Quint chuckled brokenly as his breath quickened and he grabbed Cole’s hips again, working his

confined cock against his ass with more urgency. “Didn’t hurt to ask.” A strained groan squeezed up

his throat, heralding his imminent orgasm.

Not wishing to feel his fluids spurting through his briefs, Cole moved off him, dancing over him

as the man grabbed his own crotch hard then massaged fiercely, panting and grunting until he was

juicing in his shorts.

♦

“I want to thank you.” Max said. “For this morning.” He looked across the table at Dane then

shifted his eyes to his glass. “For not…judging me about the things I told you.”

“Max.” Dane squeezed his hand. “The heart wants what the heart wants. Stipulations and such…

they carry no weight when you love someone.” He smiled softly. “And I’m in no position to judge or

criticize. And I wouldn’t anyway.” His lips pressed tight, affection in his eyes. “I see what this is

doing to you, and to Horatio. I understand both sides. I get why you push him away, but also why he

can’t stay away.”

“There’s no solution.” Max whispered thick, then met Dane’s warm stare. “I didn’t tell you,

expecting–or even hoping–you could put a twist on it that would somehow change things and make me

feel better about being with him.”

Dane nodded. “I know. Sometimes it just eases the burden when someone else can help you carry

it. And I’m touched that you trust me enough to let me be that person.”

God, this subject hurt so much to talk about. He’d done fine–or at least convinced himself he

had–for the last two decades. But Horatio had only made sparse appearances in his life, and when he

had shown up, it was brief and they hadn’t discussed what now seemed to be their topic of

conversation every time they saw each other–which was becoming quite often. He didn’t know what

had suddenly changed, why it was all so difficult now. It was always difficult, you just buried it.

Maybe it was being so up close and personal with the boys and their relationships lately that was

pumping life–and pain–back into his heart, which he had allowed to go numb to his feelings for

Horatio. And then making love to the man after so long a time of being away from him–that brought

everything to the surface in a hurry. And it wasn’t something he could ever put down again. But what

choice did he have…but to try?

“I was thinking.” Max murmured. “About what you said.” He licked his lips and looked at Dane.

“About me trying to develop a serious relationship with someone. I think…if it’s possible…that might

be a good thing for me.”

“So do I.” Dane said quietly, though a shadow of anguish darkened his eyes. Perhaps he was

imagining the pain it would cause him if he had to deny his love for Angel and try to make a life with

someone else. He didn’t take Max’s situation lightly, he understood the depth of agony that Max–and

Horatio–were going through. “What would Horatio say?”

Max rubbed his eyes. “He would…understand.” He sighed. “He would respect my decision.”

Even if it killed him.

“He’s a good man.” Dane murmured.

“Yeah.” Max whispered. “He is.” He shook his head and sighed again. “I don’t even know where

to begin trying to create a relationship with someone. Or even who with. You were the closest I’ve

been to anyone since Horatio. And we just kind of…fell into that.” He twisted his glass then glanced

at the bar where Carl and Angel were conversing and serving drinks.

Dane cleared his throat and Max shifted his gaze from the bartender. “You know.” Dane spoke

low, a ghost of a smile haunting his lips as he cast a quick look at the bar, then back to Max. “I didn’t

know if I should say anything before, but…” His smile deepened. “All things considered, maybe it

wouldn’t hurt to mention it now.”

“What?” Max asked slowly, uncertainly, sensing what the man was about to say.

“Well, it’s just that…” He shrugged. “I’ve been noticing Carl…noticing you.” One eyebrow slid

up. “And possibly a little vice versa?”

Max groaned and shook his head. “No, that’s just…” He looked across the club at Carl. The guy

caught his eye briefly, a quick smile grazing his lips, then turned his attention to a customer. He

sighed, “Just typical…club boy flirting.” He looked at Dane and the man was suppressing a smile,

gazing back inquiringly. “What?”

“Well that’s usually how it starts, doesn’t it?” He posed. “A little flirting here and there, some

idle conversation, then maybe a first date…” He leaned on his elbows and smiled, “So why not ask

him out for…a friendly get together? Get a feel for the guy on a personal level.”

“Mm.” Max stared at him and chewed his lip. “You mean take him out and fuck him, see if

anything clicks?”

“That wasn’t necessarily what I meant.” Dane chuckled. “But hey, whatever works for you.”

“I don’t know that that works for me.” Max murmured, shaking his head.

“So, it doesn’t have to be that.” Dane said. “Just a drink and some conversation then. Get to

know each other as more than just employer and employee. Let him get to know the man behind the

boss.” Dane smiled then winked softly. “I was sure impressed with that man.”

Max exhaled heavily and looked at Carl again. This was a crazy notion, wasn’t it? Him and

Carl? It seemed strange to even contemplate. All this time Carl had just been the “bartender”. He’d

never really seen him as anything else. So why now? Was he grasping at straws? Trying to grab onto

anyone who might be able to distract him from Horatio?

“So?” Dane gazed at him. “You think you might ask him out sometime?” The man wasn’t pushing,

just urging. And if Max was ever to get up the nerve to actually approach Carl on such a personal

level–he would need some urging.

Chapter Eleven

The Edge of Goodbye

“Hey, sexy.” Gabe jumped a little when Cole’s arms wrapped around him suddenly and he

planted a kiss on his neck from behind. “Missed your hotness.”

Gabe smiled. “I wasn’t gone that long.” He tugged on the tight pants, barely getting them up over

his hard ass. Cole instantly palmed his firm cheeks and squeezed.

“If you’re gone at all, it’s too long.” He nipped the back of his neck then rubbed his hands up to

his hips and slowly ground his crotch against Gabe’s ass. “I got a special request tonight.”

“Yeah?” That was nothing new–they both received plenty of “special requests” almost nightly.

“What was it this time? The usual?” Gabe smirked. “The guy offering a bonus for you to let him fuck

you?”

Cole slid his arms around Gabe’s waist and hugged him tight, kissing his ear. “Well, this one

was a little different.”

“How’s that?” Gabe tried to focus, but his world was teetering on the edge of a black abyss,

about to crash down, and there was nothing he could do but stand back and watch it happen. But he

didn’t want Cole to know how close they were to losing everything.

“Get this.” Cole chuckled and stepped around in front of him, leaning against the counter. He

pulled Gabe against him and kissed his mouth. “He was willing to pay a ‘shitload’ to watch us fuck

each other.”

“Us?” Gabe frowned. “Why us? I wasn’t there.”

Cole shrugged. “He asked if I had a boyfriend, then inquired about our prowess in bed, was even

curious if you gave good head.”

Cocking an eyebrow, eyes narrowed, Gabe murmured, “And what did you tell him?”

“I told him you blew my mind.” He kissed Gabe’s lips, slinking his tongue into his mouth,

groaning as Gabe grabbed onto it and sucked forcefully. “Mmmm.” He squeezed Gabe’s ass and

pulled him tighter against him. “Fuck, baby.” He panted when Gabe released his tongue. “Everything

you do blows my mind.”

The light of love and passion in the man’s eyes made Gabe’s heart hurt, his throat tighten. “So

what did you tell him?” He cleared his throat and smiled. “When he made the request?”

“Um.” Cole’s lips pressed tight as he looked thoughtful. “I told him sure, we wouldn’t mind

stripping down and showing him some hot and wild action.”

“Whatever.” Gabe snorted and smacked his arm. “You did not.”

Cole grinned. “You’re right. I told him no way. Of course, he still thought I should check with

you first, to be totally sure you weren’t in compliance.”

Shaking his head, Gabe chuffed. “As if I want to go at it for the viewing pleasure of some horny

pervert.” Cocking his head, Gabe added, “Then again–was he cute and sexy?” He wriggled his

eyebrows and Cole laughed.

“Not bad.” Cole murmured. “A hot little Italian number.”

Gabe’s insides turned to lead and dropped to the bottom of his stomach. “Italian number?” He

tried to keep his tone level, pitch even, but it wavered nonetheless, though Cole didn’t seem to catch

it.

“Yeah. Early thirties maybe. Very sharp dresser and groomer.” He chuckled.

“So what was this…Italian stallion’s name?” Gabe felt sick and willed any other name to come

out of Cole’s mouth than that name.

Cole scrunched his face a little, thinking, then smiled. “Quinton.” He smirked. “But he said

anyone who made him cock hard could call him Quint.” He shook his head. “Clever, huh?”

“Yeah.” Gabe swallowed hard and felt the blood drain from his face, and wondered if he had

gone deathly pale.

“You okay, babe?” Cole asked, answering his question.

“Yeah, I’m…” Gabe stepped back. “I’m fine. It’s just…some of the guys that come here, they

make me queasy, the things they want from us.”

“Yeah, well, me too.” Cole admitted. “But that’s the name of this game. It attracts a horde of

perverts.”

Gabe nodded and pulled on a tight sleeveless black shimmery top that sucked to his torso and

made his chest and ab muscles pop and rippled with each little movement.

“Mmm.” Cole looked him over and sidled up close to him again, rubbing his hands down the

slick material, his fingertips bumping over his muscles. “Very nice.” Then his palms were rubbing

Gabe’s ass cheeks through the ultra-tight, sheer pants. “You’re all…slippery.” Cole grinned and

sucked Gabe’s lips. “How about you wear this home and we play slip-n-slide later tonight?”

“Oh my god.” Gabe wrapped his arms around the man and hugged him tight, laughing softly.

“You’re crazy.” He buried his face in his neck and breathed him in, arms tightening. God, baby, what

the fuck am I gonna do? I can’t lose you. I can’t!

Cole went quiet as he held him close, Gabe nearly clinging to him, not wanting to let go for even

a moment. “Gabe…” Cole’s lips touched his ear. “Baby, I know something’s wrong. And maybe it

has to do with your dad, and maybe it doesn’t, but…” He kissed his ear softly. “You know I’m here

for you, no matter what. I wish you would just talk to me. I don’t understand why you won’t.”

Hugging him fiercely, Gabe whispered, “I’m okay. It’s just…everything coming down at once.

I’ll get it together, I promise. I will.”

“Hey.” Cole drew back and slid his thumbs over his face. “I don’t expect you to get it together,

babe. Or pretend like you’re not hurting. I just feel like…” He shrugged. “I don’t know, like there’s

something you’re not telling me. And I hate when you shut me out, it makes me feel helpless. And…”

He shook his head. “Like maybe you don’t trust me.”

“Cole. No.” Gabe swallowed thickly. “There’s no one I trust more than you. I’m not trying to

push you away. There’s just some things I need to…” He released a slow, uneven breath. “That I need

to work out on my own, and then I’ll talk to you about it. But I just…I can’t right now. I’m sorry.”

Cole nodded slowly. “It’s okay. I understand. But just tell me…” He licked his lips, brow

pinching. “Just tell me that, you and me, that we’re okay. That’s all I need to know. Everything else, I

can wait for it.”

Gabe kissed him softly then hugged him close. “There’s nothing wrong with you and me.” He

whispered thickly, truthfully. “We’re perfect, Cole. Nothing in this world, or any other, could make

me willingly give you up.” He kissed his ear. “I love you, baby. Nothing will ever change that.”

His arms tightened and eyes stung. Even if you stop loving me.

♦

“You never called me back.”

The familiar voice stilled Angel’s pulse, his back to the bar as he filled a chilled glass with

Coors Light from the tap. Breath suddenly quick, he turned slowly and stared at Lex.

“I was rather hoping you would.” He smiled warmly. It wasn’t lust he saw in his eyes now, but

wistfulness. He liked the man. Lex had treated him well, and with respect and concern. That night in

the man’s penthouse, he could have ignored Angel’s injuries and fucked him anyway, uncaring of the

pain it would have caused Angel. But he had refused.

Even so, he didn’t want to be reminded of that life that Wade had thrust on him. Nor did he want

Dane getting wind of one of his old “customers” hanging around. Dane still suffered plenty from their

encounter in the past, as well as what Angel had been put through recently. For him to lay eyes on one

of the men who had paid to fuck Angel–regardless of how respectful the man might have been–Dane

might lose it. He had a protectiveness over Angel, and Maddy, that left no room for “negotiation”

when it came to those involved in the past events.

Angel glanced around anxiously. Dane was still at Max’s table, engaged in conversation. “I,

uh…” Angel looked quick at Carl, but the man was at the other end of the bar, taking drink orders. His

eyes shifted back to Lex. “I’m not…doing that anymore.” He mumbled. “Please don’t come around,

propositioning me.”

Gazing at him, Lex smiled. “Of course not.” He murmured. “And I’m glad to hear you moved on

from that life. You’re way too good for all that.” His brow arched. “Not that I won’t miss you. But I

had a feeling you wouldn’t be calling after that night.”

Angel pursed his lips and stared down at the bar. “I do want to thank you.” He raised his eyes.

“For your care that night. Most men in your place…” He looked away again. “They wouldn’t have

cared.”

Leaning forward a bit, Lex spoke low. “I know someone hurt you.” He said. “Just tell me they’re

not still hurting you.”

“No.” Angel met his stare. “They’re not. I’m…with people who care about me now.”

Lex smiled, honest relief reflecting in his eyes. “That’s good. I’m relieved to hear that. And you

have my word, I won’t be making mention of anything that took place between us.”

“Good.” Angel said quietly. “Because my boyfriend probably wouldn’t take it too well.” He

smiled.

“Boyfriend?” Lex raised an eyebrow. “Is he…here?”

Angel nodded then directed his attention to Dane.

“Holy shit.” Lex whistled low. “He is beautiful. And…” He looked at Angel. “…I’m guessing

not someone I’d want to piss off?”

“No.” Angel confirmed. “I wouldn’t advise it.”

“Well then.” Lex chuckled. “I’m rather fond of my teeth and have no desire to have them knocked

out of my head.” He smiled. “So as far as Mr. Gorgeous knows, I’m just a random customer making

idle chit-chat with the bartender.”

Angel laughed softly. “Smart move.”

Chapter Twelve

Moving Forward

When he left the penthouse, Horatio Kaplan’s destination had been the airport. It was instinct

now to just run away when the pain became too great to remain in the same city, on the same

continent, as Max. But as he settled into the back seat of the limousine, he didn’t instruct the driver to

take him to the airport. Not yet anyway.

“The Phoenix club,” He told the man, and wondered if he was only adding to the mile high

mistakes he’d already piled up concerning Max. But he was tired of running away, just taking off

without any goodbyes, nothing. When he left this time, he didn’t want it to feel as if he were fleeing

from his love for Max. It seemed lately, every time he walked away–he left Max in tears and hurting.

Maybe that would be the case again, but he needed to try and make it better this time. He wasn’t sure

how to do that, and perhaps this was merely an excuse to see Max one more time before jetting off to

who-knows-where.

The limo was parked at the club for a few minutes before Horatio realized they had arrived. He

stared through the tinted windows at the entrance, watched the patrons filing in and out of the double

doors. How many came here seeking to fill the emptiness inside of them? For many, it was mere lust

that drew them to such an establishment. But surely there were others that were just lonely, and in

need of a little attention to help them get through another day.

Everything Horatio needed was inside that place. His hopes, and every dream he’d ever

dreamed. His…heart.

He knew the right thing to do would be to just leave now and go to the airport, get on his jet and

get far away. And this time not come back. But doing the “right thing” these days didn’t seem to be his

forte. And as he knew he would do–he opened the limo door and stepped out.

When he entered the club, it only took a moment to spot Max at his private table, talking with

Dane. He had picked up on something between the two men before when he’d seen them together. A

vibe that seemed to pass between them. He didn’t doubt that Dane was familiar with the inside of

Max’s bedroom. But though there was always jealousy at the thought of another man being with Max

that way, he knew Dane was a good guy and cared about Max. And Max needed that in his life.

Besides, Horatio admitted silently, it would be rather hypocritical to want to condemn Max for

seeking comfort elsewhere–when he himself still harbored fond memories of both Abel and Seth.

Max caught sight of him before he made it to the table. He saw his name slip off the man’s lips,

though he was too far away and the club too loud to hear it. Dane glanced around, met his eyes briefly

then turned back to Max, spoke to him then stood up.

“Horatio.” Dane nodded when he approached. They shook hands.

“Dane.” Horatio smiled. “It’s good to see you again. How are things with you?”

“Good. Thank you.” Dane glanced towards the bar. “I’ll leave you two alone.” He walked away

and for a moment Max stared after him, then slowly shifted his eyes back to Horatio.

“Have a seat.” He motioned to the spot Dane had just vacated. When Horatio sat down, Max

rubbed his mouth then murmured, “I didn’t expect to you again so soon.”

“I know.” Horatio said quietly. “Me neither.” He sighed, his lips tightening. “Do you think we

could talk in your office? It’s kind of loud out here.”

Max nodded. “Of course.”

They left the table and Horatio followed Max into the office and the brunt of the noise was

locked outside the door. As Max moved slowly towards his desk, Horatio was at a slight loss as to

what he had come here to say to the man. But the words were forming on his tongue before his mind

had a chance to register them.

“I want to apologize, Max.” He licked his lips slowly. “For…the way I acted this morning.

Breaking down like that, then just walking out.”

Max stood before his desk, his back to him. “You don’t have to apologize, Horatio.” He

murmured, a strain to his voice. “We both…” He stopped, then started again. “We both kind of lost

it.”

The truth was, as much as it had hurt–it had also felt incredibly good. To hear those words come

out of Max’s mouth, to have him confess out loud that he wished things were the way they used to be.

“It’s just…” Horatio stepped towards the man. “I keep running away, Max. I don’t know, maybe

a part of me believes I can one day outrun the hurt. I think I fly all over the world hoping to find that

one place that’s just far enough away that…all of this can’t reach me.” His throat hurt as it squeezed

hard. “Someplace where I can’t feel you anymore.” He swallowed unsteadily. “But that place doesn’t

exist, Max. And I’m tired of looking for something that doesn’t exist.”

Max ducked his head and rubbed his eyes. “What’re you trying to say, Horatio?” He whispered,

his voice wet.

Shaking his head slowly, Horatio stared at the carpet. “I don’t know.” He said thickly. “I just…”

He closed his eyes. “I just don’t want to keep running away from you. If I leave, then it needs to be for

other reasons.”

“Such as?” Max swallowed hard then faced him.

Horatio opened his eyes and Max’s face blurred. “I don’t know that either. But all I’m doing

lately is running. And I’m…” His throat worked, tears thickening. “I’m so fucking tired, Max. I feel

like I’m in a physical fight here, and I’m being beat to rat shit.”

“What do you want me to do?” Max whispered, a glaze of tears in his eyes. “What, Horatio?”

“I didn’t say I expected you to do anything.” Horatio cleared his throat. “I just need a different

way of handling this. Something other than always running scared.”

Max gazed at him, and the love resonating out of him threatened to crush Horatio. “Maybe…

Maybe you should find someone to love.”

His chin trembling, Horatio whispered, “I have someone I love.”

The tears in Max’s eyes welled thicker then began to slip free. “No, Horatio.” He choked softly.

“You don’t have him.”

“I love you, Max.” He trembled. “I can pretend all I want with someone else, but it’s just make-

believe. I’ll always love you.” Horatio stared at him, his brow beginning to pinch. “Are you…are you

trying to tell me something?”

The man just looked at him in a way that scared Horatio more than he’d ever been in his life. “I

want to be with someone.” Max murmured, such pain in his eyes. “I want something real. Having

Maddy there, it’s made me realize all that I’m missing out on.” His face pinched with anguish. “I do

want a family, Horatio. Someone to share my life with. And it can’t…”

“Max…” Horatio shook his head slowly, tears sliding down his face.

“It can’t be with you.” Max choked. “You know it can’t.” He stepped close and wrapped his

arms around Horatio, then hugged him tight, crying softly. “We need to let this go, Horatio, once and

for all.”

Horatio held him in a death grip, squeezing, crying. “I can’t, Max.” He shoved his face against

his neck. “I can’t.”

♦

“Nice show.” Carl winked at Levi as he and Ashton settled themselves at the bar for a cold

drink–right next to Ricky.

Great. Just what I need. He started to slide off his stool when Levi stopped him. “So how about

you, Ricky?” He smiled and chugged his beer. “What did you think of the show? Isn’t Ashton smokin’

hot?”

Ricky grunted and looked at him dryly. “Just a bunch of ass shakin’ and crotch grabbin’.” He

muttered. “Typical performance.”

Ashton chuckled and murmured, “I do believe I detect a smidge of cynicism in there.”

Ding. Ding. Ding. We have a winner . Ricky shoved away his half empty bottle. “I have to get

back to work.”

“What’re you so sour about?” Levi pressed, but one look in his eyes and Ricky saw that he knew

exactly what had Ricky’s dander up. And now his hands were tied with Levi’s little stunt back at the

apartment; how could he deny he was hot for the guy?

“Not sour.” Ricky said. “Just not…impressed.”

Levi trailed when he walked away from the bar. “Oh come on.” He said, weaving through the

crowd behind Ricky. “Admit it. Our little routine got you as cock hard as everyone else.”

“What is your deal, man?” Ricky spun on him suddenly. “Will it give you some kind of power

rush for me admit I want to fuck you? Fine! I do! I’ve wanted to get at your ass since you came here!

But I’m not jealous!” His hand shoved through his hair. “You’re just one of many conquests.” He

jabbed his finger at the guy. “If you think you’re special–you’re fucking delusional!”

Levi just stared at him. “So you do want to fuck me.” His lips twitched and Ricky suppressed the

urge to smack him in the face.

“How about you just go fuck yourself?” Ricky muttered tightly and turned away. Rather than

follow along, Levi drifted back towards the bar.

He had lied to Levi–he wasn’t one of many conquests. There was currently no one else Ricky

had set sights on to nail. When he thought about sex, it was always Levi he wanted. He didn’t know

why. The guy just made him horny as hell. But it was no more than that. Jealousy implied something

more. He wasn’t jealous.

Me thinks thou protesteth too much, a little voice in his head chided. Ricky scowled, Oh fuck

off.

Why the hell was he letting Levi get to him? And why did he even still want him when the guy

was blatantly throwing Ashton in his face, making no pretenses about fucking the man. And then

getting up on stage like that and flaunting their lust for each other? There were plenty of other hot guys

right here in the club who were worthier of his attention than Levi. It was high time he set his sights

elsewhere.

That should burn the little fucker’s ass. Bring him down a notch or two.

Guess what, motherfucker? I “don’t” want to fuck you anymore. I wouldn’t fuck you if you

came begging on your knees. So chew on that, you little prick.

Convinced of his sudden disinterest in the guy, Ricky smirked and went in search of another

customer to seduce.

♦

Horatio clung to Max. And Max wasn’t sure how to let him go, to move forward as he’d

suggested they do. Standing here with the man in his arms, his warm body pressed up close and

trembling in anguish, Max just wanted to take him home and find a way to make the hurt go away. But

there was nothing he could do to make it stop.

“Horatio…” He whispered thick, throat swollen with emotion.

The man went still in his embrace, then drew back. When he looked at Max–eyes full of tears and

pain, face wet–Max saw again the broken boy he had been the day their world came crumbling down.

He had looked at Max the same way that day, the fear and reality tearing him apart piece by piece, the

look in his eyes begging Max not to let go, not to leave him.

Whether or not it would make matters worse, he needed to hear Max say it. Max cupped his face

and kissed him softly, deeply. “I love you, Horatio.” He whispered. “I will never love another man

the way I love you.” He touched his head to Horatio’s brow. “But we have to let it be over.”

Horatio trembled, tears dripping down his cheeks. He didn’t say anything, just nodded and turned

towards the door. But Max made it there first—twisting the lock. Horatio looked at him, confused.

“Not just yet.” Max murmured, swallowing hard.

The two men slowly undressed one another, then Max laid Horatio down on the sofa. Soft

touches and warm kisses blanketed Horatio’s body before Max pushed inside him, took him one more

time. They clung to each other in desperation, holding on for dear life yet knowing that too soon they

would have to let go.

Their unified pain and anguish heightened their love making, fueled their passion until their

bodies burned with heat and grew slick with sweat, demanding from one another what they needed,

wanted, hungered for.

Tears mingled with sweat as they drowned in their kisses, urgent hands grabbing at the other,

hips thrusting and pumping, cries of ecstasy and agony bursting off trembling lips.

“Max…” Horatio choked, panting hard, pulling Max to him, deeper inside him.

“Don’t.” Max cried and covered his mouth again, stealing his words as he fucked him harder,

more urgent and desperate. Ragged gasps fell broken from his lips, his body arching, pushing, pulling,

rocking. His hot, wet skin cut beneath Horatio’s gouging fingers as the man clawed at him, his body

lifting to Max again and again, moving in rhythm.

“Uuh!” Horatio began to lose control as the orgasm wound around him, coiled inside him.

“Max!”

“Give it to me, baby.” Max shuddered, grabbing at his lips, panting hard. “Please…one more

time, show me how much you love me.” The man’s cock was rigid between them, leaking warm juice,

raking hard against Max’s stomach, slicking his skin. Max pushed their bodies tighter together,

causing more friction on Horatio’s member as he fucked him with urgency. “ Oh fuck, Horatio! Oh

god! Uuh!”

Both their bodies locked up in unison and they squeezed each other in crushing embraces as they

cried out and released their love and passion with a force that left them shaking in one another’s arms

and crying for a love that they could touch but couldn’t grasp.

Chapter Thirteen

Love under Fire

The back door to the club closed hard behind him and Gabe dropped back against it, hands

shaking as he tugged out his cell phone. The cool night air filled up his nostrils, rushed down into his

lungs, but still he couldn’t breathe right. The keypad blurred as he punched out the number. He had

waited for Cole to take a customer into a private booth before he slipped out to make his call.

His throat clogged with tears and anger; the motherfucker had come here, he’d put his filthy

hands on Cole, touched him…

The reality that Quint knew exactly who Cole was and had initiated interaction with him scared

the shit out of Gabe. Quint was a man obsessed, which made him the most dangerous kind. If he

decided Cole might become a problem, he would deal with him.

Gabe pushed away from the door, phone to his ear as he waited for his call to be picked up on

the other end. He paced the alley behind the club, eyes absently following the bits of garbage skidding

across the concrete, ushered by a barely noticeable breeze. Headlights cut into the alley and Gabe

stepped back, ready to reenter the club if his privacy was invaded. But the car was just turning around

and backed out again.

“Gabriel.” Quint’s sudden voice on the line startled Gabe. Amusement singed his tone. “I must

admit, I was rather expecting your call.” He chuckled. “Your boy is quite the dancer. Does his cock

feel as good rubbing against your dick as it did against mine? And that ass–mm!–now that ass made

me squirt in my shorts.”

“Shut up.” Gabe hissed, voice coarse. “Just shut the fuck up! Stay away from Cole! Leave him

out of this!”

“But he’s so fine.” Quint mused. “I wasn’t playing when I offered to pay a bundle to watch the

two of you fuck each other. Of course…you would have to let me join. We could form a chain, make

it real hot.”

Gabe swallowed hard. “Leave him out of it.” He said tightly.

“Tell me something, Gabriel.” Quint murmured. “Do you love him? Do you love Cole?”

Stomach knotting, Gabe whispered, “What do you care?”

“Well I’m just curious.” Quint spoke low. “I want to know how much leverage he affords me.”

“You don’t need leverage.” Gabe said thickly.

“You didn’t answer my question.”

He knew what Quint wanted him to say, the answer he was required to give. He closed his eyes,

his heart cracking in two as he whispered, “No.”

“No what?”

You fucker. You’re enjoying this. “No…I don’t love him.” Gabe trembled.

“You don’t love who?”

Gabe’s jaw tightened, tears rising up. “I don’t love…” His throat squeezed. “I don’t love…

Cole.”

“Then tell me why he’s your boyfriend.” Quint insisted. “Why are you with him?”

Feeling sick, Gabe wanted to crawl into a hole and bury himself. “I’m with him because…he’s a

great fuck.”

“And that’s all?”

“That’s all.” Gabe whispered and felt a part of him die inside. It didn’t matter that he didn’t mean

it, he still said it. Out loud.

“That’s good.” Quint said. “I’ll be seeing you soon.”

The call ended and Gabe lowered the phone, staring at it blankly. The scrape of the door jerked

him around quick, some part of him expecting to find Cole standing there–having overheard

everything he’d just said.

It wasn’t Cole. His heart shuddered, but still beat hard at his ribs. “Angel.” The boy stared back

at him from the doorway; how long had he been there? But the look in his crystal white eyes was

answer enough. He backed through the door, a look of hurt on his face as crippling as if he’d

overheard Dane saying those words about him. “Angel…wait…”

But the boy was already gone, vanished back inside the club. Would he tell Cole what he’d

overheard? Or Dane?

Gabe rubbed his hand over his mouth and held it there as he leaned against the tall dumpster.

Tears dripped onto his hand as his body began to lock up, bending him over as sobs pushed up out of

him. He sank to his heels, his arms curling up over his head as he surrendered to his pain.

♦

Why would Gabe say that? How could he not love Cole? It didn’t make any sense. Angel

struggled to compose himself as he walked back to the main club room. His stomach hurt and he

wanted to puke. This couldn’t be happening. Cole and Gabe were solid. They were part of the

foundation that held his life together, that held everyone’s life together at the club. They were like the

guardians of the Phoenix. And they drew strength from each other.

He stopped in the doorway that opened out into the club when he felt the tears on his face.

Wiping his cheeks, he stepped back into the hallway, out of view. His throat hurt as he fought against

the hurt crushing his heart. What would it do to Cole if he found out? He loved Gabe so much. And it

had always seemed a mutual love. Gabe had never done anything to make anyone doubt that he cared

deeply for Cole. It couldn’t have all been a lie.

Not so long ago, you thought Dane didn’t love you either. But you didn’t know the whole

story. He glanced back down the hall towards the exit door. Should he go back out there? Ask Gabe

straight out why he would say that? But though Gabe was his friend, Angel had had more direct

contact with Cole. He didn’t feel comfortable with the idea of confronting Gabe with such personal

matters. What if the man got angry at him for asking? The last thing he wanted to do was piss off

Gabe.

When his face was dry of tears, he stepped back into the doorway and halted again. Cole and

Dane were at the bar. He didn’t think he could hide his emotions from them, and especially not Dane.

Still, he couldn’t just stand here all night. Taking a deep breath, he release d it slowly then swallowed

hard and walked back to the bar.

“Beginning to think you got abducted by aliens.” Carl chuckled.

Angel smiled weakly and joined him behind the bar, carefully avoiding eye contact with the other

two men. He busied himself, keeping his back to the bar, then stiffened when Cole addressed him.

“Hey, Angel, babe…have you seen Gabe anywhere?”

“No.” he mumbled and shook his head. He rubbed a shaky hand across his mouth then combed his

fingers through his hair. When he glanced up into the large mirror before him, he noticed Dane staring

at him. Their eyes locked briefly then Angel looked away.

“Angel?” Concern weighed Dane’s voice. “Babe, you okay?”

He knew Dane could see his face in the mirror as he blinked back the tears trying to form. He

cleared his throat and shrugged. “Not…not really.” He said thickly. “I don’t feel very good.”

Carl glanced at him and frowned. “What’s wrong? Are you sick?”

Angel nodded, and it wasn’t a lie. He felt physically ill, and the urge to vomit was still strong

with him.

“Maybe it was something you ate.” Cole said, with equal concern.

“Maybe.” Angel whispered.

Carl touched his shoulder. “Well, go sit down. If you’re not feeling well, you can knock off for

tonight.”

“Thank you.” He said quietly and turned around–then went rigid when he saw Gabe walking

towards the bar.

“Hey.” Cole twisted on his stool and smiled. “There you are. Thought we’d lost you too.”

Gabe glanced anxiously at Angel, and both looked away from each other equally quick. “I, uh,”

He shrugged and murmured, “I just stepped out for some air for a minute.”

A frown pinched Cole’s forehead. “You don’t look so well.” He said quietly. “Don’t tell me

you’re feeling sick too?” He pressed the back of his hand to Gabe’s face. “Angel isn’t feeling great

either. Maybe there’s a bug going around.”

Angel kept his eyes downcast, afraid of what he might see in the man’s eyes if he looked too long

in those baby blue pools.

Rubbing his lips together, Gabe said, “Actually I don’t feel good. I think I’ll head home early

tonight.”

Dane looked at Angel, then Gabe. “Would it be a problem to drop Angel off at Max’s place?”

“He…he doesn’t have to.” Angel said unsteadily. “I can wait here.”

“No, babe.” Dane said. “You should go back to the house, get some rest. Besides, I’m sure

Maddy could use the company.” Before Angel could object any further, he turned his attention back to

Gabe. “Would you mind?”

Gabe hesitated, cast a quick look at Angel, then shrugged. “No, of course I don’t mind.” He

murmured.

Angel felt sicker than ever. He didn’t know why he was so against being alone with Gabe.

Maybe he was scared of what the man might tell him. What if he really didn’t love Cole anymore?

Moving out from behind the bar, he walked over to Dane. “I don’t have to go.” He said quietly

when Dane wrapped his arms around him and kissed his mouth.

“Well, I say you do.” He smiled. “And it’s my place to look after my baby when he isn’t feeling

well. So don’t argue, and go home, eat some chicken soup and just take it easy.” He kissed him again.

“I’ll come by after work and see how you’re doing. Maybe stay the night, if it’s okay with Max.” He

touched his head to Angel’s brow and smiled again. “Okay?”

“Okay.” Angel whispered and smiled despite his heavy heart. Dane loosened his arms, letting his

hands rest on Angel’s hips as he glanced at Cole and Gabe.

“You be sure and do the same.” Cole told Gabe and smiled. “Can’t have you down and out.”

Gabe laughed softly, but there was a heaviness to it. “I’ll be fine.” He assured, though Angel

caught the hurt that shadowed his eyes. What the hell was going on with him? He kissed Cole deeply

then stepped back.

Gripping his hand a moment longer, Cole smiled. “I love you.”

Gabe’s lips tightened and he seemed to be carefully avoiding Angel’s stare as he whispered, “I

love you too, Cole.” When he finally looked at Angel, it was a fleeting glance. “Ready?”

“Yeah.” Angel murmured.

“Give me another kiss.” Dane smiled. “Need one more to hold me over.” Angel wrapped his

arms around his neck and hugged his head as he kissed him deep. Dane squeezed him hard then

moaned when he released him. “Damn. That was a good one.” He smacked his butt lightly. “Now get

this lovely ass home and rest.”

“Yes, sir.” Angel whispered and smiled, then gave him one last quick kiss. “I love you.”

“I love you too. Now go. Get well.”

A heavy silence settled between Gabe and Angel as they walked out of the club. Gabe unlocked

his car and they both climbed in without exchanging a word. And it remained almost painfully quiet

inside the car during the drive to Max’s home. Angel didn’t know what to say. Gabe knew he had

overheard him. If he wanted to explain–wouldn’t he offer to do so?

I don’t love Cole. I’m with him because he’s a great fuck . Angel closed his eyes when they

began to sting and burn. Cole’s eyes glowed with love whenever he looked at Gabe. It would kill him

if he knew what Gabe had said. Shatter his heart.

By the time they arrived at Max’s house, Angel was barely containing his tears. He wished Dane

had brought him home, and stayed with him. The car idled out front of the house. “Thanks.” Angel

mumbled without looking at Gabe and grabbed the door handle.

Just say you still love him, please. Tell me I heard you wrong. Something.

But Gabe sat silently behind the wheel, head turned away, staring out the driver door window; no

offered explanations, no professions of love for Cole. Nothing.

As Angel shoved open his door, it felt as if he were reliving that night Dane had cut him

loose. It hurt nearly as bad.

Chapter Fourteen

Broken Down In Tiny Pieces

Give him some kind of explanation. Don’t let him walk away thinking…

His elbow against the driver door, Gabe pressed his mouth into his hand, the surrounding night

blurred and distorted through the wall of tears rising up. Since they’d left the club, he’d been trying to

find the words to explain to Angel what he had overheard. But short of telling him the truth–what

could he say that would justify his words?

I love Cole. I love him so fucking much!

He tried to say the words, let Angel know that much of the truth anyway. But he couldn’t speak.

No declarations were going to fix anything. Trying to explain to Angel at this point was as pointless

as applying a Band-Aid to the hull of the Titanic; he was lost out on the dark, freezing waters–and

going down fast.

The closing of the passenger door was a physical punch to his heart. He turned and watched

Angel walk up to the house, arms curled around his waist, head down. The boy was a bonafide angel;

when those he loved were cut, he bled. When they hurt…he cried. Angel knew how it felt to lose a

love. The pain he was suffering now–was for Cole.

If only more angels walked this earth…maybe the world wouldn’t be such a cold, dark place.

Gabe looked away when Angel entered the house. He gripped the steering wheel and stared out

the front windshield. Go back to the apartment, pack your shit, and get out. Cole don’t deserve

what you’re about to bring down on him.

So just walk away? No explanation to Cole either?

He wiped his eyes and pulled away from the house, his heart breaking; stay or leave, Cole was

going to suffer. But which one would cause him the most pain?

The answer continued to elude him when he entered Cole’s apartment. Cole’s apartment . He

hadn’t thought of it that way since shortly after he started staying here. It had felt like their apartment.

Their home. But tonight…Gabe felt more like an unwelcome guest, a stranger in a strange land. The

sense of love and security didn’t wrap around him when he stepped through the door, as it always had

before. No matter what the world threw at him, coming home to Cole had been his refuge, this

apartment his safe haven against all enemies real or imagined. But he was the enemy now, whether he

chose to be or not. And this was no longer his safe house.

He stood in the bedroom doorway, gazed at the bed that, over the course of a month or so, had

created a lifetime of memories he would take to the grave…which would be a welcome journey if he

lost Cole.

His palm rubbed slowly back and forth across his mouth as he just stared at the bed. What if they

never made love again? What would life be without Cole’s touch? His love? He ducked his head and

tears dripped off his face. He should be stronger than this, he knew. When men at the club looked at

him, they saw a man of strength, virility; a tough guy. But he didn’t feel tough right now. He just

wanted to lie down and cry, he wanted Cole to hold him as one would a frightened child, and tell him

they would get through this, no matter what. That nothing could take his love away.

“I’m sorry, Cole.” He whispered. I didn’t know it would come to this. I didn’t know…we were

going to fall in love.

Wiping his face, Gabe cleared his throat and went to the closet, took out a small sports bag and

began to pack.

♦

He found the leather billfold lying on the floor, half under the sofa. Max took it to his desk and

sat down, turning it over slowly in his hands. He opened it to reveal a modest number of credit cards

and a thick wad of crisp one hundred dollar bills. The photo on the driver’s license stared back at

him, deep Mahogany eyes pulling him in. Max rubbed his thumb over the handsome face, his gaze

shifting to the information printed at the right; Horatio Alexander Kaplan. 6’ 0”. 170 lbs. DOB 12-20-

1977.

Max carefully slid the license out from behind the plastic window and traced his fingertips over

Horatio’s face. Most people hated their driver’s license photo, but Horatio’s was perfect. When he

looked at the wallet again–another photo stared back at him, having been tucked down behind the

license. A wallet size copy of the framed photo that Horatio kept beside his bed of him and Max when

they were young. And so in love.

Setting aside the license, he took out the photo. He stared at it for a long moment before turning it

over. The words on the back blurred instantly.

Horatio, I love you more than life. I’m going to marry you one day. I promise. Love, Max.

Tears rolled down his face, remembering the day he’d given that photo to Horatio. And the boy’s

response: “Don’t think I won’t hold you to it, ‘cause I have every intention to. You’re mine. I don’t

ever want anyone else.”

“I don’t either.” Max whispered with a soft ache in his voice, seeping up from his heart. He

dropped the photo on the desk and covered his face with his hands, body shaking. “Are you enjoying

this, God?” he choked bitterly. “Was it fun for you…doing this to us?”

He cleared his throat and wiped at his face then put the license and photo back where he’d found

them, closed the billfold and left the desk. He locked the billfold in his safe. If Horatio didn’t come

back for it by tomorrow, he would text him and let him know he’d left it at the club.

“Max?”

Max jumped a little and turned around. Dane leaned in the door. “Cole and I are gonna take off.”

He said. “Everyone is cleared out. Carl said he would stay behind and help you close up.”

Nodding slowly, Max murmured, “Yeah. Okay.” He stood facing the safe.

“Are you…all right?” Dane stepped inside. “I saw Horatio leave earlier this evening.”

“Yeah.” Max sniffed then cleared his throat. “I think he’s going to be heading back overseas for a

while.” He turned and faced Dane. He could still feel the wetness in his eyes and his throat was thick

with tears. “It’s better when he’s gone.” He licked his lips and shrugged. “Even if it doesn’t feel

better. It is.”

“I wish there was something I could do.” Dane said softly, sincerely. It warmed Max’s heart that

the man cared for him the way he did.

Max smiled and walked over to him. “You’ve already done more than your allotted share.” He

wrapped his arms around Dane and hugged him. Dane embraced him without hesitation. “You were

my saving grace more than once.” He whispered.

Drawing back, Dane kissed him softly. “You were mine too.” He murmured.

“You understand now…don’t you?” Max whispered thickly. “Why I can’t be with him?”

“I do.” Dane nodded, hurt in his eyes. “And I understand why he fights it the way he does. You’re

not an easy man to let go of.” He looked at him tenderly, “And it’s my guess…neither is he.”

Max shook his head. “No.” He rubbed his hands up Dane’s shoulders. “But I have to keep trying.

And…” He stepped back and leaned against the edge of his desk, shifting his gaze to the floor. “And I

think you gave me some sound advice this morning.” He raised his eyes. “I think I have to try to find

someone else. If I just stay by myself, I’ll never move beyond this. And every time Horatio comes

back…” He shook his head. “I’ll just fall back into him. But maybe…maybe if I had someone

permanent in my life, then that wouldn’t happen.”

Dane sighed. “You know I’m all for true love, being with your heart’s desire.” He said quietly.

“But in your case,” He shook his head, sadness in his dark eyes. “Finding someone else might be your

best bet. And I think someone worth looking into…” He glanced towards the door. “Is right out

there.”

Max sagged against his desk. “Do you really think so?” he murmured, uncertain. Or was he just

stalling? Afraid to take that step that he’d been avoiding all his life–the one that would finally

separate him from Horatio, possibly for good.

“I think it’s worth a shot.” Dane nodded. “Carl is a good man. And he isn’t exactly oblivious to

you.”

Exhaling heavily, Max rubbed his eyes. “I’ll…think about it.”

“Okay.” Dane smiled apologetically. “Sorry if it feels like I’m pushing. I don’t mean to.” He

stepped close and ran his fingers through Max’s hair. “I just want to see you happy. And not hurting so

damn much all the time.”

“That would be a nice switch.” Max whispered, lips tight. He looked at Dane, tears pooling. “I

haven’t been truly happy in almost twenty years.”

Dane smiled and kissed him warmly. “Then I’d say you’re way past due.”

♦

Discovering Levi lingering outside his apartment door was not the highlight of Ricky’s night. He

was tired and sweaty and all the way home had been longing for a nice hot shower and his soft bed–

then unconsciousness until late morning tomorrow. Levi’s presence promised to disrupt the flow of

that fantasy.

“What’re you doing here?” Ricky grumbled and practically shoved him aside to get at the door

and unlock it.

“Just wanted to see if you were still pissed at me.”

“Why would I be pissed at you?” Ricky muttered and opened the door.

“Come on.” Levi followed him inside without being invited. “You know why.”

Shaking his head, Ricky tossed his keys on the counter in the kitchen. “What? For that little kiss

this morning?” He snorted and shrugged. “Trust me, I’m over it.”

“Actually, I was referring to Ashton.” Levi corrected, then smiled, “But we can talk about the

kiss, if you want.”

“I don’t want.” Ricky assured and sighed. “Why are you here again? And not with Ashton?”

Levi smirked. “I’ve already been with Ashton.”

Oh god. Ricky groaned. “So what–you got your rocks off with him, and now you’re here for a

second helping?” He rolled his eyes. “What are you–a nympho?”

“Maybe.” Levi grinned and winked.

“Well I’m not.” Ricky said. “I actually need sleep like a normal human being. And I would really

like to take a shower first. So if you’ll excuse me…” He motioned towards the door. “You know your

way out.”

Levi looked at the door without making any attempted to exit the apartment. “Since it’s so late.”

He said. “I thought maybe you wouldn’t mind if I crashed on your sofa.”

“What?”

“Your sofa.” Levi said. “It just sits there all night, vacant.”

“And you interpret that as an invitation to spend the night on it?”

Levi shrugged and grinned. “Not necessarily. But I’m pretty beat after my rendezvous with

Ashton, if you know what I mean.” He chuckled. “And I really don’t feel like driving home.”

Was he fucking serious? “I don’t even know how to respond to that.” Ricky muttered. “Except–

get the fuck out. I don’t want to hear about your fuck-fest with Ashton.”

“You know.” Levi posed. “You probably wouldn’t be so cranky with me if you just admitted you

were jealous–and then fucked me. It does wonders for getting rid of frustration.”

Ricky fumed. “I’m not frustrated. And I’m not fucking jealous. I think you push it because you

want me to be.”

Levi smiled and arched his brow. “Am I that transparent?”

“I can see right through you.” Ricky said tightly.

“Really?” Levi chuckled softly.

“What?”

“Nothing.” He smirked, then glanced into the adjoining living room. “So…I can take the sofa

then?”

Ricky shook his head; this guy was incorrigible. So kick his ass out if you don’t really want him

here. “Whatever.” He sighed in defeat. “Sleep on the fucking sofa. I’m taking a shower and going to

bed.”

“If you need someone to scrub your back–or anything else–just holler.” Levi grinned when Ricky

walked away, a scowl on his face and an annoying throb in his crotch.

Chapter Fifteen

Letting Go

Cole entered the apartment quietly and closed the door softly. Gabe was likely long asleep by

now and he didn’t want to wake him, especially if he wasn’t feeling well. He hoped him and Angel

weren’t coming down with a flu bug. It wasn’t any fun being sick. Other than having someone wait on

you hand and foot–which both Angel and Gabe lucked out on, having boyfriends who would do just

that, and then some. Cole smiled. Gabe hadn’t been sick since they’d gotten together as boyfriends,

but Cole was ready to be at his beck and call one hundred percent.

He fixed a quick sandwich and glass of milk, which he planned to consume in the living room,

maybe watch a piece of a movie while he ate, so as not to disturb Gabe. He left his meal on the

counter momentarily and went to the bedroom to check on Gabe before he took up residence on the

sofa.

The bedroom was dark but for what little city lights squeezed through the blinds. But it was

enough for Cole to see that the bed was still made–and empty. His hand swept over the light switch

and the bedroom flooded, extinguishing all shadows. “Gabe?” Cole’s heart was suddenly racing,

pounding. He stepped back, half way into the hall. “Gabe!” He frowned, fear twining around his

heart. The closet door was open. He entered the bedroom and moved towards the closet–when he

saw the note on Gabe’s pillow.

His feet rooted to the floor and a sudden terror caused pressure in his head, his chest. Maybe

something came up and he had to go out, and he left a note so you wouldn’t worry . The reassuring,

optimistic voice did little to quell his fears. Something wasn’t right. Cole had been feeling it for a

while now, but had chosen to believe Gabe when said he was okay, that they were okay. Though

insignificant details–the simple open door of the closet and the note on the pillow–screamed at Cole

that everything was wrong.

It crossed his mind to burn the note without reading it; could his heart take what was written

there?

He wasn’t sure just when his feet began to move, but he suddenly found himself standing beside

the bed, staring down at the pillow, the folded page of white college ruled paper. Don’t pick it up.

Don’t read it . But it was already in his hands, unfolding. He read the words, then read them again,

confused as to whether or not it was the tragedy he had feared. He stared at the note, silently going

over the words one more time.

Cole, I’m going back to my apartment for a couple days. I just have a lot on my mind right

now, stuff concerning my dad. I need some time alone to think. This has nothing to do with us.

We’re good. I’ll call you tomorrow. I love you, Gabe.

The context of the note should have calmed his fears–so why wasn’t he relaxing? Why was he

scared that all this had everything to do with him and Gabe?

♦

“You didn’t have to stay behind.” Max approached the bar and slid onto a stool. “I could have

closed up myself.”

Carl shrugged and smiled. “I don’t mind. Nothing to do but go home, right?”

“Yeah, I guess.” Max murmured and tapped his fingernails absently on the bar top, eyes lowered.

His pulse was unusually quick and breath slightly labored. Should he just go for it? Take the plunge

and let the chips fall where they may? Was he even really ready for this?

“Something on your mind, boss?” Carl leaned his elbows on the bar and laced his fingers, gazing

at Max intently.

Clearing his throat, Max shifted on the stool. “You’ve been working here for a few years now,

Carl.” Max looked up, and smiled. “You can call me Max now.”

Carl shrugged, his lips curving with an inviting smile, eyes closing partially with a casual, oddly

sexy gesture. “I don’t mind boss. But I like Max too.” He laughed softly and went about situating the

shot glasses, aligning liquor bottles and wiping down sections of the bar that were already spotless.

Was he trying to stall their departure?

Suddenly very nervous, Max’s heels tapped against the metal rung of the stool, his breath

quickening. “I was thinking maybe…” His lips tightened as he stared at his hands, which were going

through every level of nervous antics there were. He lost his nerve. “Uh, maybe I could get a glass of

scotch real quick before we close up? Unless it’s too much trouble. Not a big deal.” He was

beginning to ramble and clamped his mouth shut.

“Not a problem.” Carl murmured but made no move to pour the drink. He scooted closer to Max

without removing his elbows from the bar. “But it isn’t scotch that you need.” He gazed at Max from

just a few inches away. “I don’t even think it’s what you want.”

Max swallowed hard, his heart pounding like mad. “If not scotch…then what?” His throat

knotted unexpectedly and seemingly without cause. “What, besides liquor, could possibly soothe this

shitty feeling inside?”

“I can think of a few things.” Carl’s thumb touched Max’s lower lip and dragged gently. Max

trembled and considered pulling away, just putting a stop to this now. What if he dove in–and found

that he couldn’t swim?

While his thoughts spun wild in his head, Carl’s lips touched his; softly, even tentatively, testing

for approval. Max just sat there, rigid with tension and uncertainty, unresponsive. Carl hesitated then

drew back and licked his lips, then rubbed his mouth slowly. “Sorry.” He murmured. “I guess I was

wrong.” He sighed and straightened up, then reached beneath the bar and grabbed a bottle of scotch.

“Maybe this is what you need, and want.”

Max watched him fill a glass half full then slide it over to him. He stared at the drink, then

whispered, “No…you were right.” He set the glass aside and met the man’s uncertain stare. “Can we

try that again?”

“Try…?”

Max just looked at him, and Carl licked his lips slowly and leaned across the bar. This time

when his mouth touched Max’s lips in a kiss, Max was quick to respond and leaned into it.

Moaning low, Carl brushed his fingers through Max’s hair then gripped the back of his neck and

drew him deeper into the kiss. Lips parted and tongues tangled, moans turning to groans of want and

desire.

“Damn.” Carl gasped when they broke apart abruptly. “You’re a hell of a good kisser, boss.”

“I said you could call me Max.” Max groaned and grabbed at his lips, wanting more, needing

more.

“As you wish.” Carl’s breath puffed out unevenly as they tugged and sucked at one another’s lips.

“So tell me, Max…” He whispered and plucked at the buttons of Max’s shirt. “Have you ever…made

it on a bar?”

Max shook his head as a haze began to drop over his mind. “Do I want to?”

“Yes.” Carl grinned then flattened his hands on the bar top and vaulted up suddenly, kneeling

before Max. He stared down at him as he tugged his shirt loose from the waist of his pants and

discarded it back behind the bar. The guy’s crotch bulged as Max rubbed his hands up Carl’s thighs

and on up to the snap of his pants.

Somewhere in his overheated mind was the question–did he really want to do this? But the

question was mute as his fingers worked to unfasten the snap and drag down the zipper. “Come on,

Max.” Carl smiled. “Get up here with me.”

Max slipped off his shoes then climbed up on the bar. The two men faced each other on their

knees as Carl peeled off Max’s shirt then caressed his chest and stomach before opening Max’s pants

and slipping his hand down inside. Max gasped, throat tightening with sexual tension as Carl rubbed

him with a skillful hand. “Fuck…”

Shoving down the front of his own pants, Carl released his rigid cock. Max took it in hand and

stroked him firmly as the man continued to rub and massage him. “Mmm.” Carl moaned, sucking in a

sharp breath. “You have great hands.” He let Max handle him for a minute or so then stood up and

shoved down his pants and briefs, kicking them off the bar.

The man’s erection bobbed stiffly in front of Max, the tip glistening with a pearl drop of juice.

He leaned close and licked it off. Carl gasped, his cock twitching. Max moved closer and took the

man in his mouth, sucking him with vigor.

“Fuck!” Carl grabbed his head tensely and rocked his hips, sliding his member in and out of

Max’s mouth. “Ah fuck…yes…shit, that feels good.” He groaned unsteadily and raked his fingers

through Max’s hair. “Oh my god…I haven’t had this done to me in quite awhile…fuck.”

Was that true? Carl was gorgeous. He surely had his fair share of propositions. If he hadn’t had

sex recently–it had to be by his own choice. Max took him in deep, long stroking his cock, sucking

firmly until the guy was panting loud and thrusting into his mouth.

“Ahhh! God!” Carl choked. “Oh fuck…Max…uuh!”

Sucking slowly up his shaft, Max pulled off him and stood up, shedding the rest of his clothes.

Carl took hold of his hips and drew him closer, rubbing their members together. “You’re amazing,

Max.” He panted, smiling. “And so fucking sexy and beautiful.”

Max caressed his chest and stomach. “So are you.”

To Max’s surprise, Carl began to move their bodies together in a slow, erotic dance, pulling Max

closer and sliding his hands down over Max’s ass, holding tight. Their bodies swayed and rocked in

a single sensual motion, no need of music.

“I thought you said you had no rhythm.” Max murmured.

“Only when I’m properly inspired.” Carl chuckled softly then kissed Max and pushed closer to

him. His mouth shifted to Max’s neck and he bit at his skin gently, sucking firmly. Max shuddered and

moaned, pressing his face to the man’s shoulder. “Can I confess something, Max?” Carl whispered

against his heated skin, kissing the pulsing patch that would tomorrow be a prominent mark.

“Mm-Hm.” Max kissed his neck and proceeded to brand Carl as well.

Carl groaned and squeezed his ass, his arousal hardening and pushing up against Max’s stomach.

“I’ve wanted this for a long, long time.” He brushed his lips over Max’s ear. “Since I first came to

work for you.” He drew in a sharp breath as Max sucked hard on his neck then released and raised

his head. When he looked in Carl’s eyes, he discovered more than sexual heat and lust. “Would

you…” Carl licked his lips. “Would you want to go out with me sometime?” He rubbed his hands up

Max’s back, their bodies curving, shifting in perfect unison. “Or is this all you…”

“I want more.” Max whispered, and was startled by the depth of truth in his words.

Chapter Sixteen

Beginning of the End

Misplacing his wallet at the club had not been intentional, at least not to his knowledge. But it

was an excuse to return to the Phoenix so late. When Horatio had left earlier that evening, he’d had no

intentions of coming back. And he hadn’t needed to; he could have send a courier to pick up his

billfold, or had Max send it to him. Seeing the man face to face again so soon wasn’t necessary. And

very likely not the best idea. But Horatio was helpless against his feelings for Max, and when an

opportunity presented itself–he had no choice but to grab it.

Even so, he limited himself to the club. If Max’s car was gone, he wouldn’t go to the man’s

house. He would simply send for the wallet and leave it at that. But the recent memory of his and

Max’s love making still burned fresh in his mind, and his body. But with that memory came Max’s

words–he wanted to make a family, a life, with someone else. Horatio couldn’t blame the man for

wanting it, couldn’t bring himself to be upset or angry with him. Their love was doomed, and had

been from the start, even before they realized it. Maybe moving on would help Max heal, give him

some peace of mind.

But there would be no peace for Horatio. He couldn’t let go, even if he could pretend he had. But

it wouldn’t be real, and it wouldn’t hurt any less. Yet he could take some level of comfort in it all if

Max could find happiness.

When Max’s car remained at the club, Horatio considered just driving on, not stopping. Coming

here was a selfish move on his part. Every time he came to Max, it was out of selfishness. He knew it

hurt Max when he came around, and yet he still showed up because he couldn’t handle being away

from the man. But his contemplations of passing on by remained silent as the limo rolled to a stop.

He half expected the front doors of the club to be locked, and had they been, he would have left.

But instead, the door pushed open without resistance and he entered the short, dark corridor that led

into the main club.

From within the corridor, he could see the club was predominantly dark, most of the lights shut

off, chairs flipped upside down on the tables. He approached the wide entrance then stopped when he

heard voices, low, hushed. He moved forward slowly and remained in the shadows, halting at the

entrance, his eyes pulled to the source of the voices.

The two men were on top of the bar, naked, arms around one another as they rocked and swayed

to a beat only they could hear, for there was no music. His vision blurred as he watched Max dance

with the man. The way he used to dance with you. Tears slid down his face and his heart began to

break apart in his chest but he couldn’t look away, couldn’t make his feet turn around and flee this

vision that would be forever seared into his mind.

When Max had said he wanted to make a life with someone else…Horatio hadn’t known that

there was already someone in mind. His lips tightened and chin trembled as it hit him hard that Max

was really moving on…letting go.

He watched in anguish as the man–who he recognized as Carl, the club bartender–laid Max down

on the bar, watched Max draw Carl to him with wanton, eager arms. Horatio turned away before he

could see Carl take for his own what should have been his.

Tears dripped off his face as he walked quickly out of the club. I loved him first…I would have

loved him forever. He lifted his face to the dark sky, the city lights blurring, shimmering, distorting.

“Fuck you.” He choked. “Fuck you for doing this to us!”

He climbed in the limo and closed the door, breath labored as he struggled for control. He

cleared his throat and pressed the intercom button. “Take me to the airport.”

When the limo was in motion again, he wiped at his wet face and took out his phone. His hands

trembled as tears slid down his cheeks and his chest began to hitch with sobs. He wasn’t angry at

Max; the man was doing what was necessary to deal with all of this. To be angry would brand

himself a hypocrite. Horatio had had plenty of boys in his bed in an attempt to deal. But he had

always known that the boys would only be there for a short while, and in time he would go back to

Max. But Max wasn’t playing the same game of make-believe that Horatio was. Max was playing for

keeps.

Maybe that’s what Horatio had to do now as well–if he hoped to survive this.

He brought up the name in his contact list and opened a new text message.

‘I went back, like you told me to…but it didn’t work. He doesn’t want me. I have to leave. Will

you come with me?–Horatio.’

♦

Trying to sleep without Cole beside him was a lost cause. His own bed, in his own apartment

now felt like foreign land. This wasn’t home to him anymore. Everything that made up his life and

gave it warmth, feeling, purpose–was back at Cole’s apartment, lying in Cole’s bed, and likely

tossing and turning, restless without his lover by his side.

The sheets and blankets twisted around Gabe’s body and he finally kicked them off and sat up,

dropping his feet to the floor. He wanted to go home, crawl back into bed with Cole and let the heat

of his body chase away this chill that was seeping down into his bones, his soul. He slid his fingers

through his hair then cradled his head in his hands and stared at the floor. His toes curled and dug into

the soft beige carpet. It felt wrong leaving the way he did, with just a note to tell Cole where he’d

gone. But if he’d tried to tell him face to face, and Cole had asked him not to go–he would still be

there now. And he couldn’t have kept the truth out of his eyes, that he was leaving because of Cole.

The further he was away from Cole, the better he could keep him off of Quint’s radar.

Thoughts of Quint conjured up nausea; what all did the man have in store for him? Gabe was

well aware of Quint’s private underground organization, what it consisted of. There had been a time

when Quint had tried his level best to incorporate Gabe into it all, but had failed because of Nathan.

But Nathan was gone, and Quint’s agenda remained the same. Except now–Gabe was collared and

chained to the man with no hope of escape.

He rubbed his eyes, the heaviness in his chest weighing him down. By the time Quint was through

with him, could he even go back to Cole? Even if the man wanted him back? Or would Quint have

destroyed everything good and decent in Gabe? Would he even be the same man? He was strong, and

he would fight to hold onto his dignity, his identity…but was he that strong?

“Fuck.” He choked and brought back wet fingertips when he lowered his hands.

Sleep was out of the question. Gabe left the bedroom and wandered out to the kitchen. He thought

about making coffee, but didn’t need any help staying awake–he needed something to knock him out.

He opened the refrigerator and leaned on the door, staring dully at the contents, then grabbed a

can of 7-UP. From the freezer compartment, he took out a half empty bottle of Seagram’s Seven. “The

best part of waking up…is seven & seven in your cup.” He mumbled and mixed the drink then settled

in the living room and turned on the television.

The images on the screen were incoherent as his head filled with images of Cole instead. His

body responded to his need for the man’s touch, the sensation of Cole taking him, possessing him…

making love to him. He wanted to call Cole, just hear him say hello. More than that, he wanted to tell

him the truth before the lies shattered everything they had. But the truth…God, the truth was as

damaging as the lie. If Cole knew everything–he would try to stop it. And going up against Quinton

Sanitini was a fatal move.

No, Cole was better off with the lies. Safer. Gabe couldn’t handle the thought of Cole’s life

being in danger…he would rather the man hated him.

Gabe swirled his drink slowly, watching it with a blank stare. “I love you, Cole.” His eyes

filled. He thought about Angel; would he tell anyone what he’d overheard? Somehow he didn’t think

the boy would say a word. At least not to Cole.

He sniffed, cleared his throat then took another drink.

The doorbell rang.

Gabe stiffened and looked towards the front door. Cole? His pulse quickened and he leaned

forward, setting his glass on the coffee table, then stood up as the doorbell rang a second time. A part

of him had expected Cole to show up tonight, or at least call. But there had been no phone call or text.

It actually made more sense that Cole would just come over and talk to him.

Though he needed to be away from Cole–he couldn’t stop himself from wanting the man here

with him.

His bare feet sank into the soft carpet as he walked to the door, unmindful that he was wearing

only his white Calvin Klein boxer briefs. Cole had seen him in much less. Even with his whole world

coming to ruin, the prospect of seeing Cole warmed his heart and caused a pleasant tickle in his

naval. He opened the door, a smile hovering on his lips–then evaporating.

“Nice.” Quint’s dark eyes dragged down Gabe’s nearly naked body–which had begun to respond

to the thought of Cole being the one on the other side of the door. Quint smirked. “Happy to see me?”

He raised his eyes from Gabe’s crotch and met his troubled stare. “Or were you expecting someone

else?”

Gabe’s vision blurred but he blinked it back into focus. As he stepped back and allowed Quint to

enter the apartment, the reality of his situation struck him hard and with heartbreaking clarity; this was

the beginning of the end.

Goodbye, Cole, he whispered silently, his heart coming apart as he slowly closed the door.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Born and raised in scenic Coos County, Oregon, CJ enjoys the small town atmosphere and down-to-

earth country folk who populate the area. She is a single mother and lives with her 18-year-old

daughter, 1 horse, 4 dogs and 6 cats deep in the country woodlands which gives her plenty of time to

write.

She is a Christian and a strong supporter of the LGBT community and favors gay erotic romance when

it comes to writing. She hopes that her stories of love and acceptance will help further compassion

and understanding for LGBT people who she feels is greatly misunderstood and persecuted – in a

large party by the Christian community.

Most of all, she is hopeful that her stories will bring comfort to those who have been told that God

hates them because they are different. It is her strong belief that God loves everyone and His love

covers all.

Connect with CJ online:

Facebook.com/AuthorCJBishop