Theda Black After Anna

After Anna

by Theda Black

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After Anna

by Theda Black

CONTENTS

Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Nineteen
Chapter Twenty
About the Author

* * * *

After Anna

by Theda Black

After Anna

Theda Black

After Anna

by Theda Black

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This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places,

and incidents either are products of the author's imagination
or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events or
locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

After Anna

ISBN: 978-1-55487-032-5

Cover art by Martine Jardin

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After Anna

by Theda Black

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After Anna

by Theda Black

Chapter One

First Night
Anna's dead.
The thought came over and over. During the day.

Watching TV. At night it was a litany. He let it flow over him
each time, though a particularly gruesome picture came to
mind lately when he thought it—Anna's body, bloated,
floating up from the depths of dark water. A nightmare. But
he'd been hit so many times with thoughts about her, her
name coming to his mind naturally, his reactions not yet
caught up with current events. Anna would like this. What
would Anna—wonder if Anna—

He pulled a hard breath in, shook his head, trying to clear

it. It was better that his mind announced the fact of her death
again and again than suffer being caught unaware.

Tyler was there a lot. Most of the time. Sometimes Will

wanted more than anything to be alone. Other times he
couldn't bear it. He liked it best when Tyler didn't say
anything, but was just there.

The night after Anna died, Will went home and sat on the

couch in the dark. He sat for a long time, unmoving, until his
body began to feel very brittle. Tyler sat beside him, tried to
lay his hand on Will's, but Will whispered, a feather-breath
stirring the air. No. And Tyler withdrew. But he never left his
side. He never stopped trying to reach out and each time was
rebuffed, though Will didn't think of it that way. He was trying
not to shatter.

After Anna

by Theda Black

Finally, Tyler gave Will a word. Please. His voice was raw.

Will looked up, green eyes swimming to focus on him for the
first time since they'd sat down. Tyler's face was white and
still in the meager light from the window, his eyes dark with
need—a need to comfort, to take some of Will's pain away.

The word allowed Tyler to pull Will's stiff body into his

arms. Will's breathing was fast and uneven as if he'd been
running. Tyler's body pressed into his. "Will," he said, over
and over and kept coaxing, holding him tightly until Will let it
all go.

[Back to Table of Contents]

After Anna

by Theda Black

Chapter Two

Third Night After
He stood at the sink and washed out a glass. He would

have let everything just pile up, but Tyler kept on top of it. He
decided to wash his own damn glass so Tyler wouldn't. But
somehow when he set the thing down it shattered.

The drinking glass had been a little fancier than most

things in his apartment—thin, etched with a twining vine. It
was fragile, so it really wasn't as surprising as it sounded,
that you could just set down a glass and break it. It was
something his mother had bought and reminded him of her,
thin and elegant, delicate-looking, though certainly not easily
broken. Her looks were deceiving.

Did she even know about Anna? He realized he hadn't

talked to her in over a month, though they'd played phone-
tag enough—calling, leaving each other messages. He moved
to the phone, dialing, obeying his impulse without thought. If
his father answered he'd have hung up, but she picked up on
the third ring. He had to clear his throat before he could get a
word out. "Mom," he said and stopped.

"Will, sweetheart. It's so good to hear from you."
"Mother, I met a wonderful woman," he started, looking off

at nothing, remembering. "I, uh ... her name was Anna. She
was..."

"What do you mean—"
"...a designer. She..."
"—she was?"

After Anna

by Theda Black

"She was kind, Mom. Soft-spoken. Beautiful. Just

beautiful."

"Oh my God. What happened?"
"She loved me." He breathed into the silence of the phone.
Her voice came back, quiet. "I know, sweetheart."
"You know."
"Of course. How could she not?"
Will hung on to the phone and smiled, closing his eyes. He

nodded, though he knew his mother couldn't see. There was a
sound at the door. Tyler letting himself in.

"Come home. Please?" she asked.
"What the hell? Will?" Tyler strode over and grabbed at the

hand holding the receiver.

Will jerked back and made a staying motion with the other.

"I just wanted you to know, Mother. Tyler's here now. I have
to go."

"Will, don't."
"I love you, Mom." He hung up and stared at the blood on

the phone while Tyler bandaged his hand.

[Back to Table of Contents]

After Anna

by Theda Black

Chapter Three

One Week After
Back on the job. Back on the streets. They sat in Tyler's

car, watching a third floor apartment on a shabby street. The
place was utilitarian brick, no one apparently interested
enough to bring any sense of individuality to the row upon
row of apartment windows.

A drug dealer at the bottom of the food chain lived in the

apartment. The pickpocket they'd busted earlier in the day
had offered up the dealer for his freedom—a party was going
down that evening with some distribution on the side. Tyler
was glad to go after it, especially since Will had insisted on
returning to work. Gave them something concrete to focus
on.

The party was supposed to begin around nine. They'd

parked down the road from the apartment and staked it out.
It was eight pm and so far the street was nearly deserted.
The car still emanated an uncomfortable heat from the day.

Tyler sighed and shifted in his seat. "Hey."
"Hmm?"
"Whatcha thinking?"
"I'm thinking you're bored to ask me what I'm thinking."

Will swiped at the sweat on his brow.

"Yeah, well I'm thinking about a big plate of lasagna, my

treat, after this is over."

"Lasagna," Will said, giving Tyler a scornful look, "in this

heat. Thanks but I'll pass."

After Anna

by Theda Black

"C'mon Will, you've had what, two leaves and a twig to eat

today?"

"Very funny, Ty."
"No. No, it's not. That's my point."
"My mother never sits on a stakeout with me, and she

never makes lasagna, either."

"She never makes lasagna. Who ever heard of a mom—"
Will turned to look at Tyler, who snapped his mouth shut.

"My point. You're not my mother, so quit trying to act like it."

"I'm pinch-hitting."
"Don't I know it."
"Besides, you know how hungry I get when—"
"When you're doing anything, Ty. Absolutely anything. I

bet you eat in the shower."

"Don't be ridiculous."
"Ever heard of an oral fixation?" Will asked. Tyler made

fish lips at him. Will rolled his eyes. "I'm serious. Some day
we gotta talk about this."

"Talk now. Nothing's going down here. Anyway I'd rather

talk about that than think about why we didn't let anybody in
the department in on this. It's completely against procedure.
Why didn't we let them in on this again?"

"Small fry, that's why. Nothing to it. Look, traffic's picking

up," Will said, nodding at a trio coming down the sidewalk
and turning into the apartment entry. Will and Tyler sat for
the next twenty minutes as four more groups and two
individuals arrived at the apartment building.

"How do you want to play it?" Will's gaze followed a couple

walking up the sidewalk.

After Anna

by Theda Black

"Let's check out the apartment first, see the requirements

for entry into this fine establishment."

"Okay, then. We're on." Will opened his door, throwing

long legs from the car and jumping out. Tyler slammed the
driver's door shut and followed to the apartment building.

Inside, the lobby was a depressing blur of worn tans and

browns. They headed for the stairs. The door made a
shushing sound against the carpet as they opened it and
entered a narrow white stairwell. At the third floor level they
peered out the door and watched the entrance of two new
arrivals from the elevator.

"Looks all right," Tyler allowed. "You know, you'd think a

dealer would take a few precautions. Dumb. I say we walk in
like we own the place."

Will nodded agreement. The two of them strolled to the

door and entered. The room was narrow and long with more
brown carpet and new furniture made to look antique. Smoke
wafted through the air, the scent strong and sickly sweet.
They looked around the place, trying to match the description
they'd been given for the drug dealer, but had no luck. The
description was of a dark-haired man, tall and extremely fat.

Tyler looked at Will and tipped his head to the left at a

door partially ajar. Will nodded and Tyler pushed it open,
feigning drunken confusion. "Wha—? Ziss the bathroom—" he
slurred, taking note of the plastic baggy in the dealer's grasp.
He put one hand on his gun, pulled out his badge and stepped
closer. "Police. Hands up. Now."

The dealer did as he was told, the bag dropping onto the

carpet. The woman standing next to him was thin with big

After Anna

by Theda Black

dark eyes. She still had her hand outstretched and slowly
lowered it. "That was mine," she said dolefully.

"I'd tell you I'm sorry but then I'd be lying," Tyler

answered, just as Will's raised voice overrode the murmur of
the party-goers in the next room.

"Police! Get your hands in the air. Do it fast or you're not

gonna like me very much."

"My, my," Tyler murmured, brow raised. He herded the

couple just ahead of him, their arms stretched upward in
surrender, into the living room. "All right, people. Head for
the nearest wall, lean against it and spread 'em."

Will and Tyler moved around the room, setting most of the

guests free after patting them down. Will, at the outside wall
near the front door, searched a wiry man with a receding
hairline. He felt the outline of a bottle in the man's right
pocket. "What do we have here?" He pulled the bottle out. A
worn prescription label was attached. Will held it up toward
the light. "Our friend here's carrying bennies, Ty," he said,
squinting at the label, "unless they're called tetracycline
nowadays—"

The suspect pushed off the wall and threw his body into

Will, then slammed him in the face with a fist. Will stumbled
back, blood trickling from his nose.

Tyler swung around at the noise and saw Will's face go

white. At first Tyler thought it was because he'd been hurt.
Will reeled backwards and fell, but rolled on his back and
came smoothly to his feet. He followed the guy who'd hit him,
running for the door.

After Anna

by Theda Black

"Stay against the wall if you know what's good for you,"

Tyler said in a terse aside to the two men remaining at the
end of the room, and strode toward Will.

Reaching his assailant almost at the doorway, Will snagged

the back of his collar and dragged him backward. He grabbed
the man's face in one hand and knocked the back of his head
against the wall. Tyler, who'd turned back to check on the
unguarded men, looked around and winced.

And again. Will's face was still that weirdly ashen color, his

features pinched, and his nose leaked more blood. Too late,
Tyler saw the fury in him and touched his arm, trying to
signal him with his eyes.

Will ignored him. "Where do you think you're going,

asshole?" His voice was tight and cold, calm. He twisted his
fingers in the front of the man's collar, tightening it until he
choked helplessly, eyes going vague. Will thrust his face
closer. "Having a little trouble?" he asked, jerking the collar
with each word for emphasis.

"Will. You want him to talk, you let him breathe, huh?"

Tyler gripped Will's arm, demanding his attention, and was
totally unprepared at the look on Will's face when he turned
around.

"Hands off." His eyes burned like pale torches.
Tyler kept his voice level. "Hey. It's me."
"I know who the fuck you are! This asshole wanted to have

a good time tonight, and I'm gonna make sure he gets it."

"I don't think so. You get yourself under control or you

walk out of here, Will." He kept his eyes pinned to Will's,
watched him come down, slowly, as if he were on a drug of

After Anna

by Theda Black

some sort. But the wildness only faded back—it didn't
disappear. Tyler saw it lurking.

"Okay. Okay," Will said, and his shoulders settled a

fraction.

Tyler wasn't fooled, but it was enough for now. He had the

feeling he should have seen this coming, but their day
together had been so normal, so much like always that he'd
relaxed his watch. He called for the black and whites and then
sat down beside Will, waiting for their arrival. "You're
bleeding, dipshit. Wipe your nose." Will ignored him.

Usually the two worked together with one mind. Not

tonight. Will had been Will, out there in the car ... and then
he wasn't. It couldn't be him because Will didn't lose it in the
middle of a bust. It was dangerous for them both, same way
that showing a division between them in front of the suspects
was dangerous.

Tyler had had no choice but to call him on it.

[Back to Table of Contents]

After Anna

by Theda Black

Chapter Four

Nine Days After
Glyce lay in her own blood, left eye purple and swollen.

Her eyes were open, barely, but she hadn't responded to
either of their voices. Tyler called for an ambulance.

Will parted her long brown hair with his fingers, finding a

still-seeping cut on her scalp. He couldn't find any more
readily apparent injuries. Bending low to her ear, he called
her name softly and then repeated it.

The two had known Glyce for a little over a year. She was

a prostitute and their sometime informant.

Tyler came and knelt beside him. "How is she?"
"I don't know. She's got a scalp wound, so maybe that's

why all the blood."

Glyce murmured, then groaned. Her eyelids trembled and

Will squeezed her hand. "Glyce. Open your eyes, sweetheart.
Look at me."

Glyce struggled to focus. "Will? Wh ... what..."
Will slid a gentle hand down her cheek. "It's about time

you showed us those pretty eyes. We were beginning to
worry." He smiled at her.

"Ohhhh ... my head, it hurts..."
"I know, I know it does. An ambulance is coming, they'll

take care of you. Can you tell me what happened?" Glyce's
brown eyes watched him in silence. Then she closed them.
"Glyce?"

"It doesn't matter." But she wouldn't look at him.

After Anna

by Theda Black

"Glyce? What are you talking about? Of course it matters!"
As if he hadn't spoken, she said, "I'm careful, but

sometimes it isn't enough, you know? Nothing is." She
opened her eyes and tried to smile. "Guess every job has its
risks."

Will's body froze in position. Tyler put his hand on Will's

forearm, gave a slow rub and leaned over Glyce. "Nobody
deserves this. Give us something to go on, will you?" he
asked, his voice soft. "I can't be responsible for what Will
here does if you don't."

"Glyce." Will's face was intent. "You can't just let someone

get away with hurting you." He touched a finger under her
chin and got her eyes to meet his.

"Wish it was true. You know better. Both of us do."
Will didn't waver. "Please. Give me something."
"The guy hit me and I fell hard. I think I hit the coffee

table on the way down. He probably got scared when I passed
out." Will shook his head, opening his mouth to speak, but
she spoke instead. "He won't be back. That's all I care about,
Will." She reached out. "It's enough."

"It matters," Will repeated in frustration, cupping her hand

in his. "You matter, don't you know that?"

"I'm all out of fight," she replied slowly, her eyes asking

for understanding. The ambulance approached, sirens wailing.
"It could have been worse," she offered, plaintive.

Will's throat closed up. She was trying to comfort him.

"Just take it easy, Glyce. It'll be okay, it'll be fine." He tried
his best to sound like he believed it. After all, she was right—
it could always be worse.

After Anna

by Theda Black

But what hurt like hell was that, for her, it'd probably

never be better.

[Back to Table of Contents]

After Anna

by Theda Black

Chapter Five

Twelve Days After
Will and Tyler went after Anna's drug supplier on the day

she died. Will insisted on going after him personally, even
though both of them knew he was in no shape to go. But
someone tipped Petrucci off. The bastard scarfed up a
shitload of his own speed, got brave and went apeshit, taking
Will hostage. Tyler offered the moon if he'd let Will go,
including Petrucci's freedom, and Will went wild, nearly
getting them both killed. Luck had been with them instead
and Petrucci was behind bars.

Will remembered Petrucci pushing the .45 into his temple,

the pressure a living, burning thing burrowing into his head.
He remembered the depth of the terror on Tyler's face,
watching. Ever since that day, Will found it hard to face Ty.
There had been something there in Tyler's face as he stared
at Will, as he bargained with Petrucci for Will's life. Something
important that Will needed to figure out but didn't want to
think of, not with Anna's death bleeding into his soul.

C'mon, at least don't lie to yourself. He'd known something

was going on between them for a while now. For a lot longer
than his and Anna's relationship had gone on, as a matter of
fact. It wasn't really all that far-fetched, was it? Maybe from
the outside looking in, but this was his and Tyler's internal
drama.

He'd never had anyone like that, someone to walk through

fire for him. He wasn't sure he deserved it. Bullshit. It's not

After Anna

by Theda Black

about if you deserve it or not. You've always known he'd do
anything for you, same as you would for him. Stop hiding.

Hiding from what?
Doesn't matter, doesn't matter. He'd used the mantra ever

since Anna died until he was numb and he didn't know how to
feel anything other than empty. But not anymore. The
blinders were coming off even when he didn't want them to.

Last night he'd been drunk as hell. Again. Decided to get a

tattoo, which then and there would tell any idiot exactly how
drunk he was. He didn't know what had gotten into him other
than maybe the fact that Tyler didn't think he'd do it and he
didn't give a damn.

They drove to the tattoo parlor and walked in. A girl at the

counter motioned them into the back. "That's Horace," she
said. Horace was sitting, playing Solitaire. Will took off his
shirt, blond hair crackling all over his head with static
electricity, and grinned at the guy. Horace grinned back and
Tyler laughed, pushing Will into the chair. He collapsed like a
noodle into it.

Tyler warned him one last time. "You're gonna hate it

tomorrow, Will." He turned to Horace, appealing. "And he
calls me an idiot."

"Shut up, Ty," Will snapped and instead of getting mad,

Tyler reached out, brushing his fingers through Will's flyaway
hair. He looked down into Will's eyes for a minute, grinning.
Then his gaze traveled over Will's bare chest. His eyes got
softer, the pupils darker, and the grin faded. He looked away.
Horace's eyes went from Tyler to Will, then back to Tyler.

After Anna

by Theda Black

Something struck in the center of Will's brain, telegraphed

fast and clear like pure white lightning. He stood up, knocking
the chair backward, for a moment wishing blindly that it was
Tyler he'd knocked backwards. He headed for the door, nearly
running.

Tyler was crazy. Didn't he know Will was just as likely to

drag him down and drown them both as Tyler was to save
them?

"Great." Tyler ran after him, grabbing his arm. "What's got

into you anyway?"

I saw the way you looked at me, he wanted to yell, but the

words stuck in his throat as if giving them voice would make
them absolutely real. It's too late, Ty, I saw. He grabbed his
shirt from Tyler, fumbled his arms through the armholes and
shrugged it on over his shoulders. He walked out the door,
Tyler following, silent. Will could feel him back there as if live
wires attached them together.

"Where you going?" Horace's voice floated after them.
Will did his best to put it down to drinking. Tried to bury it.
He tried to bury it again by throwing back another shot of

liquor, not even tasting it. Decided he was tired of it. Then
went to get another, deciding he didn't care if he was tired of
it. Yeah, he was tired of drinking, tired of the job, tired of
everything, maybe even Tyler. He and Tyler kept treading
water, pretending they were still the same. Trying to hold the
past close and deny the changes between them.

It doesn't matter. Will repeated his mantra, knowing it for

the lie it was. It made him afraid, and the fear made him
crazy, made him madder than hell.

After Anna

by Theda Black

[Back to Table of Contents]

After Anna

by Theda Black

Chapter Six

Sixteen Days After
Will sat down on the couch beside Tyler and took a deep

drink of his whiskey and water. Tyler's gaze had followed him
to the kitchen and back. Had followed him all night. Will kept
slinging back the booze, trying not to think about those eyes,
failing utterly. "Quit ... quit ... tracking me, would you?"

"What are you talking about? You need to lay off the

sauce, buddy," Tyler said blearily.

"You first. You're using me as an excuse to become a lush.

I got news for you, babysitting doesn't entail getting drunk
with your ... your..."

"Baby?"
"Charge. Your charge. That's what. Coulda swore we had

two different mothers, but somehow we got attached at the
hip."

"You're killing us with all this drinking." Tyler stared

morosely out the dark window. "Tracking what?" He
hiccupped.

Will glared. "Moron. You. Staring at me."
"It's your good looks. I can't help myself," Tyler said,

solemn, and Will nodded agreement. Tyler shook his head in
disgust. The motion made him dizzy. And Will was right—why
drink just because he was? The thought made him irritable.
"Mr. Ego, here. Just because you've fucked half the city in the
last week. Can't have been easy rounding up the stragglers."

Will snickered.

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"Next you'll be grabbin' at me with your grimy paws."
"You wish."
"Maybe." Tyler leered, and Will laughed. "Hey, Will. Can

you fuck too much?"

"You're asking me?"
"No."
"Good."
"But what do you think?"
"For God's sake, Tyler." Will sighed.
"What do you call it when you've screwed too much?"

Tyler's eyes were inquisitive.

"Happiness?"
They fell over one another, laughing.
Tyler slowly propped himself up with a hand to Will's knee

and tried to think. "Nah, I mean like maybe you screw too
much, wake up the next morning and you feel like shit, weak
as water. You just can't move. Ever done that? I did, once.
It's almost like a hangover."

"You mean like the hangover you're going to have in the

morning."

"Shut up. It's a fuckover is what it is."
"A huh?"
"A fuckover."
"That's stupid. Your mind goes in some very strange

directions."

"Hangover, fuckover. Get it?"
"The resultant physical problems of fucking to excess. Got

it." Will smiled, pleased with himself. "You got it?"

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by Theda Black

Tyler slapped Will's knee, laughing. "I'm the one who

asked you. Dummy."

"Ty. What physical problems exactly? You been getting

more than I know of?"

Tyler's grin lit the room. "Jealous, Sherlock? Don't worry,

I'll save some for you."

Will sighed.
"Nah, I just wondered, the way you've been going. I

remember my dick got a little sore. Kinda raw, even." Tyler
shrugged and drained his glass. "Just wondering." He burped.

Will smirked and winced at the same time, reaching down

to rub himself, unthinking. "Well, I've fucked myself blind this
past week, but not ... God, did you have to say raw?" He
looked down at Tyler's crotch. "Jesus, is there something
wrong with you?" He pawed at Tyler's zipper.

Tyler slapped Will's hands. "Get your—just what the hell

are you doing?"

"Thought you wanted to show me your rash."
"Rash? No rash, dummy. You're the one been trying out

for the fuck squad. Get your hands offa me unless you're
comin' on to me."

It was Will's turn to leer. Tyler drew his eyebrows down

into a frown. "That's kind of low-brow of you."

"Well, there we agree. Coming on to you would be low-

brow."

"Asshole. I meant all this fucking and drinking. It's

beneath you," Tyler said, mock reproach in his voice.

"Beneath, on top, hanging from the ceiling. It's all good."

They collapsed together again, laughing.

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"Sort of like this conversation," said Tyler after they'd

quieted.

"What?"
"This conversation is beneath us."
"Where is your head? I've never seen you worry about how

many women you've had, or me. Beneath you," Will said,
mocking. "God. You sound like my father."

Tyler grinned. "Yeah. I was imitatin' him. You caught that,

huh?"

"Trying to give me nightmares is what," Will grumbled.

"You wanna get in my pants, lay off the Mr. St. James
routine, huh? Acting like my dad ain't gonna cut it."

Tyler choked on his drink.
"Anyway, you're just afraid I'm gonna score more than

you."

"Riiigght."
"What's the cure?" Will scratched his nose, thinking.
"For what?" Tyler lolled his head in Will's direction.
"Fucking to excess. Fuckadelic. Whatever."
Tyler gulped another healthy dose from his glass. "Ah ...

hmm ... take two aspirin, call me in the morning?"

"That's no cure," Will said scornfully. Tyler hiccupped

again. They were quiet, considering.

"Hair of the dog. Gotta get back in the saddle right away,"

Will said solemnly, and Tyler spewed booze at him, laughing,
then grabbed for a napkin on the table. He missed.

"God I miss her," Will said.
It sounded so matter-of-fact, coming from out of the blue,

that for a moment Tyler didn't catch it. Then his eyes sought

After Anna

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Will's. They were bleak. Tyler reached out, rubbing his
shoulder.

Will leaned into it, closing his eyes, and the hand traveled

to the back of his neck, squeezing gently. Will tensed and
Tyler reacted, his hand dropping as if burned. Standing
abruptly, Will walked a few steps away, rubbing the bridge of
his nose. When he turned back, both the hurt and the unease
were gone from his face as if nothing had passed between
them. He waved his drink about, affecting a scholarly
expression. "Actually, I think I've heard of this before."

"Really."
"Yes, really. Copulatia fuckititus, pal. I remember it from

college, now you mention it."

"I'd hate to waste good whiskey, but I'm about to throw it

at you." Tyler stood and followed Will, swaying, still trying to
use a napkin to pat at Will's blue shirt. He managed to slop
some more on Will from his glass in the process.

Will glared at him. "If you don't mind, I'm trying to

pontificate, here."

"So poontang all you want. I'm trying to wipe the booze off

you."

Will laughed. "Shit. You said that on purpose." He bent

over, holding his stomach, and laughed some more.
"Poontang."

Tyler grinned hugely and gestured at Will's bent-over

posture. "You have to take a piss or you getting friendly on
me?"

Will laughed again and collapsed on the couch and then,

just like that, the laughter was gone because all the fucking in

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by Theda Black

the world, all the drinking and all the jokes weren't going to
fix this. It hit him like a bag of sand right between the eyes.

"Will?" Tyler finally asked, a little thickly. Will sat there,

head lying at a steep angle, resting it on the back of the
couch. His throat moved as he swallowed. "Hey. Hey, Will.
Talk to me."

"I had no idea about Anna. None."
"She didn't want you to know." Tyler slouched down beside

him.

"There was this whole other part of her that I didn't know.

Some detective, huh." Will shook his head in disgust. "Shit,
I've been on the streets enough to recognize the signs. I
didn't. That bastard fed her all the drugs she wanted and had
himself an easy piece of ass for his troubles, didn't he? And I
was oblivious, walking around with my head in the goddamn
clouds. What an idiot."

"You weren't an idiot. I never saw her high, either. So you

trusted her. Something you do with people you love," Tyler
said with a gentle sarcasm.

"Love is blind, huh? Only if you're a fucking idiot."
Tyler tapped the back of Will's hand. "Do not do this."
Will raised his head up and blinked, trying to meet Tyler's

eyes. "Do what?"

"Make me stare at you. I'm too drunk to hold my head

steady." Will smiled a little. "C'mon, don't blame yourself. You
know better."

"You have this idea of me, Ty, and I don't know who you're

seeing, but it isn't anybody who knows better."

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"The hell with that. I know what I see. It's you who's too

busy blaming yourself to see how things are."

"Oh, really?" Will asked listlessly.
"You don't have any fucking idea how I see you, Will, so

shut up."

"Just where the hell is this coming from?"
"Maybe you're right. Maybe you don't see things

sometimes."

Will raised his voice. "I fucking know I don't, that's what I

said. Why the fuck are you on my case?" Tyler didn't reply,
his lips set in a tight line.

Will sat back again slowly and shrugged. Forcing his body

to relax, he leaned back and dropped his head against the top
of the couch again. The sofa creaked and the seat cushion
next to him rocked downwards. Will's eyes flew open and
Tyler's face hung over his, angry and determined and almost
scared. His mouth lowered, touched Will's, soft, then harder,
something unleashing from inside him, and he drove Will
down into the cushion, pushing his weight into him.

With no warning Will flared, turning inside out with white

heat and longing. His head buzzed with an arousal that came
from everywhere out of nowhere. He surged upwards,
grinding his mouth into Tyler's, and their breaths mingled,
ragged in the silence of the room. Tyler grunted, pushing into
him, the sofa moving back with the violence of it, and Will's
cock went hard, the length of it pressing uncomfortably
against his zipper. The feel of it somehow knocked back the
alcohol fumes in his mind, which grew clearer by the moment.

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Tyler's lips on his, tongue touching him, pushing into his

mouth, breathing hard and deep, mindless—

Will grabbed his shoulders and thrust him away.
Tyler's eyes opened slowly, unfocused, and his mouth was

soft from Will's. He looked, just for a moment, like a lost and
vulnerable boy before something older crept over his
features.

Will got up, very precisely, ignoring how his chest

squeezed at the way Tyler's face closed up. He walked to his
bedroom and just at the door, turned back to look at Tyler.
"Whatever this is, I can't do it."

He was so tired. His head pounded. He closed his eyes and

leaned against the doorframe. When he looked up, the front
door was swinging shut. He stared after it a long time. A
thousand thoughts careened around his head, squabbling,
acknowledging, denying. All together they meant nothing.

[Back to Table of Contents]

After Anna

by Theda Black

Chapter Seven

Seventeen Days After
The phone on the other end rang and rang.
His head throbbed and his stomach was queasy. Whenever

he moved, his equilibrium was two steps behind,
disconnected. Closing his eyes only made it worse.

"Neville."
"It's me." Silence. Will's fingers gripped the receiver with a

death grip. "Come over." More silence on the other end of the
line.

"Not a good idea."
"Oh, is tomorrow going to be any better?" Will snapped,

then winced at the pain in his head.

"Will you quit shouting. My head is killing me."
"Mine too. Sorry."
"Can't make it right now."
"Look, Tyler, we work together. We still have to rely on

each other. I'm not going anywhere so you might as well deal
with me. Anyway there's nothing to deal with."

"You do hide your head in the sand, don't you, Will?"
"Whatever. I'm your goddamned best friend, Tyler, it's

Saturday, you're not doing anything and I ne—want you here.
Will you come?"

"Will, you..." Tyler sighed. "You don't know if I'm doing

anything or not." There was silence. "Aren't you afraid I might
jump your ass again?" His voice was overly loud, going for
belligerent.

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Will's voice was mild. "I've got my gun."
Surprised, Tyler laughed and when he spoke, he was more

relaxed. "Dickhead. Promise you won't pour one of those
shitty hangover cures down my throat."

"Can't do it."
There was a long, long pause, then, "Be there in ten."

[Back to Table of Contents]

After Anna

by Theda Black

Chapter Eight

Eighteen Days After
They were at the beach, cool green water rolling up the

shoreline. Anna was swimming. She wore a black bikini and
strands of wet hair snaked around her neck, tangling in her
silver necklace. The sun gathered in wet corners of her skin.
She swam out into deeper water, then turned and beckoned
to Will, smiling. He swam to meet her. Tyler called something
out to him from the shore, and he turned and answered.
When he looked back, Anna was gone. Then he saw a pale
flash beneath the surface of the water, light patterns waving
over skin.

He swam to her and dived again and again and again, but

his fingers couldn't keep a grip on the cool flesh sliding out
into the deep away from him. He was frantic, kept trying to
reach her, but the green depths narrowed in his eyesight.
Dark splotches overcame his vision. The pressure in his chest
was tremendous. His arms and legs were rubber.

Then Tyler was there, bubbles clinging to his arms and

chest, dark hair floating in the push-pull of the waves. He
grabbed Will from the back, arm around his chest.

Will couldn't leave her. He tried to break free, but he was

too weak. He looked again for Anna through the blackness
and she was right there, but somehow Petrucci was there,
too, hands around her throat. He looked up at Will and
grinned.

After Anna

by Theda Black

Anna's expression was too still, the only movement the

wave shadows reflecting life on the dead face and eyes. Her
body sank slowly from sight. He screamed after her and water
rushed into his lungs.

Tyler swam upward, holding Will to his chest. They broke

the surface and Tyler kept him from going back. Will couldn't
even yell at him. All he could do was cough and choke and try
to breathe.

Will woke up. He went to the bathroom and washed his hot

face, rubbed his swollen eyes over and over in the running
water from the bathroom sink. Outside, the sky was still dark.
He lay back down and waited for daylight.

[Back to Table of Contents]

After Anna

by Theda Black

Chapter Nine

Nineteen Days After
Will hadn't said two words this morning, and there were

shadows beneath his eyes.

They'd made it through the weekend together, and it

hadn't even been bad, just sort of weird. Will didn't want to
talk about it, Tyler could tell, and as for him ... well, it burned
a hole in his gut. But there were worse things. It had taken a
while to get back into their usual back-and-forth, but they'd
been together too long to forget how to be with one another.
Most of the time.

It was Monday morning and dispatch alerted them to a

robbery in progress. They were within five minutes of the
scene and both of them reached for the mike at the same
time. Will's fingers skated over Tyler's hand, then jerked back
as if he'd touched a roaring flame. Tyler's hand froze a
moment and his brows drew down. He sighed in irritation and
answered dispatch, not looking at Will.

Most of the time, they remembered how to be with each

other. Not all the time.

* * * *

Tyler thought that very little could shock him nowadays,

but that was before Glyce told him about Anna and her back
room adventures at one of the infamous Tardis stoner parties.
She cornered him out on the sidewalk right in front of Will,
who waited impatiently for him in the car while he stopped to

After Anna

by Theda Black

grab a soda. Tyler held a finger up to Will and walked inside,
ignoring his questioning look, and Glyce pulled him to the
back of the convenience store and started talking.

Glyce had a regular customer who worked at Tardis

Fashions, the same place Anna worked. After sex, he liked to
talk. One of the people he talked about had been Anna. She
was a rising star, but already beginning to fray at the edges.
They do that, he said, when they burn it on both ends,
working all day and partying all night. And the girl definitely
partied—she was hooked on speed and Oxy, and she'd started
paying for it with her body.

Glyce's regular had gotten wasted one night and stumbled

on her and her supplier, together in a backroom. Naked.

Tyler questioned Glyce then and there in the convenience

store. He was harsh, disbelieving, and Glyce looked daggers
at him by the time he reined himself in. Afterward he went
back out to the car, trying to keep his emotions in check, not
knowing what to do or say. He just shook his head when Will
demanded to know what it was Glyce wanted, several times,
and when Tyler ignored him Will got louder.

"Look, I'll handle it, Will, now shut the hell up about it!"

Tyler erupted.

Will gave him a long, considering stare. "Is Glyce in

trouble?"

"I'll handle it," Tyler repeated, glowering. He looked out

the window so he didn't have to look at Will any longer. For
the rest of the day, it was all Tyler could do not to wince
whenever Will mentioned Anna's name. It hurt like hell to see

After Anna

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him so happy and know what Anna hid from him. What Tyler
hid from him, now.

He needed to think, to be sure of exactly what the

situation was, and with Glyce's help, he found out. Anna was
well and truly hooked—uppers to crank the work out, downers
after. She was the company party girl. Insiders waited for the
crash and burn, shaking their heads. Some were happy about
it.

Next Tyler had to figure how to handle it. Then he had to

have the guts and the cruelty to take away that dopey,
brilliant grin he'd seen so much of on Will's face lately. But he
had no choice.

From Glyce, he got the day and location of the next big

Tardis party. He knocked on the elegant high-rise door and
waded through the partiers, making his way to the back and
down a long hallway. He flung doors open. People screamed
or laughed or ignored him. He found Anna behind one of the
doors on top of a guy, naked, skin sheened with sweat, hair
mussed. She was beautiful. Her eyes were utterly lost.

Tyler pulled her off the guy, then flung him off the bed and

to his feet. He threw his clothes out after and shut the door.
Anna stared at him with wide eyes while Tyler offered her
clothes over. She put them on slowly, still watching him. Not
scared, but waiting for whatever came next.

He took her home and spent the night in the dark of her

living room, waiting. The next morning, he made coffee and
brought it to her. She opened her gray eyes, squinting at the
light, looking confused and a little afraid. Tyler told her what
he'd found out about her, recited in flat tones. Then he

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offered his help, voice softening a little, but not much. The
help was contingent on Anna telling Will the truth.

She put the coffee cup carefully down on the bedside

stand. It rattled against the saucer until she took her hand
away from it.

Tyler closed himself off from her pale face and trembling

hands. He understood Anna's sorrow and regret, but Will's
love for her was built on a fantasy that no longer existed, if it
ever did, and he was going to suffer for it. Such bedrock
knowledge took absolute precedence over the concern Tyler
felt for her. He watched her fingers clutch the blanket up high
over her body, trying to defend herself, trying to find comfort.
There was none to be found.

"You can't keep it from him." Tyler's voice was measured,

determined.

"I love him. You know that, don't you? I didn't mean for

any of this to happen." Her expression was pleading, her
voice trembling, almost childlike before Tyler's intensity.

"I know," he said, but his face remained unyielding.
"Okay. Okay," she said, her voice falling apart. She

sobbed. "I'll tell him. He's going to leave me."

"You don't know that, Anna. And he's got a right to know."
As he walked out the door, her voice came after him. "I

love him. I know I've betrayed his trust, but I still love him
more than I've ever loved anyone."

It was hard to look at her and accept her pain but he did

it, turning and looking at her for a moment. He owed her
that.

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I tried to let you have him, Anna. More than anything, he

deserves some happiness.

Now Tyler sat in the darkness of his own apartment and

thought about how to tell Will exactly what had happened—
that he'd forced her hand, and that in the end she wasn't
strong enough to face Will or herself.

Tyler tried to shut the thoughts down. He didn't want to

have them.

He remembered when Will had first introduced her to him.

He was so proud of her. She was funny, sweet and as perfect
for Will as he could have imagined, and maybe in another life
they would have married and been happy together. Maybe
even had that dream life of family, kids and a white picket
fence.

Another life, not this one.
She died the day after Tyler confronted her, but it wasn't

at a Tardis party. He made sure those were finished. No, it
was somewhere a lot darker, seedier. Dangerous. She
overdosed and went into convulsions. Someone dumped her
out in the street. By the time the ambulance arrived, her
body was sprawled motionless and cooling on the pavement,
her face a rictus of fear and bewilderment.

She died because I forced her hand.
He thought about that a lot lately.

[Back to Table of Contents]

After Anna

by Theda Black

Chapter Ten

Twenty Days After
One last kick and the door flew forward, banging against

the wall. Both of them caught a glimpse of a bare ass
pumping over sprawled, pale legs, then made out the rest of
the man's crouching form in the dim glow of a TV screen. He
yanked at his pants and ran further into the apartment. Tyler
flipped the light switch on as Will ran after the suspect into a
tiny den, snatching at the back of his shirt and catching it.
The man's fingers reached out in vain to the sliding glass
door.

Will slung him into the wall. The guy hit hard, grunting,

and Will grabbed his collar, punched him in the face. Then
lower on the jaw. He grabbed him again and flung him one
more time into the wall, grabbed again and sent him into the
glass. He didn't think about it, just did it. The man twisted
frantically, his left side crashing into the window. The frame
rattled and the glass shuddered, but held. Will reached out
again, fingers closing on air, and there was Tyler, yanking his
cuffs from his pocket and slapping them over the guy's wrists.
The guy was pulling in sobbing breaths, blood running from
his nose, his pants sliding down over his ass again. Will took a
step forward and Tyler stepped in front of him, his face set.
Will went another step. Tyler's body pushed into his. Their
eyes clashed. There was nothing to do but back off or fight.

After a long moment, Will backed off. "Pull his fucking

pants up, will you?"

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by Theda Black

He walked into the front room. He stood over the naked,

unmoving girl, looking at the purple, discolored marks around
her neck. At the blood.

"Call an ambulance, Will," Tyler said sharply, pushing the

suspect in front of him and out the front door.

Will moved to the phone and made the call.
Tyler watched him the rest of the evening, gauging his

actions. Will knew he'd slipped, had gone too far. He made
certain he didn't slip again, and Tyler let it go. Again.

[Back to Table of Contents]

After Anna

by Theda Black

Chapter Eleven

Twenty-One Days After
Beautiful men, opposites, the two of them. Light and dark.

There was an intensity in Tyler's face, watching Will and
Sandra. Predatory, dangerous. Sandra leaned over and
brushed her lips against Will's, testing, then looked directly at
Tyler in the flashing lights of the bar. His fingers tightened on
the edge of the table—she saw them whiten. He smiled at
her, a twitch of his mouth upward, but she wasn't fooled.
True predators don't know how to smile.

Will wasn't oblivious to what passed between her and

Tyler. There was a hard glint in his eyes belying the softness
and warmth of his lips on hers. She whispered in his ear, a
question, and he leaned his head against hers, his hair
brushing her face. His lips touched her ear, his teeth bit her
lobe. She gasped and his tongue followed, soothing the small
hurt. She pulled back, flashing him an open challenge with
her eyes. Will smiled. Not until he'd finished the last drop of
beer and settled the bottle back down on the table did his
eyes meet Tyler's.

Tyler watched him with raised eyebrows. You really want

to do this?

Will's lips curled in a reckless grin. The lights flashed over

his skin and clothing as he sat back against the wall in an
elaborately casual manner, watching Tyler.

Tyler's smile spread slowly over his face. A challenge?

Oughta know better by now.

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by Theda Black

Will nodded at him and swallowed his thoughts in another

beer.

* * * *

Will couldn't help but flash onto Anna's face as he pulled

off his clothes. How she looked in the moonlight in his bed,
her body pearly white, limbs long and perfectly shaped. He
blinked the vision back and the feelings that came with it,
willing it into the recesses of his mind, but not before a
childish, angry question came. Is this what you wanted,
Anna?

But Anna was dead.
The wildness in Tyler's eyes almost matched Will's of late,

as if he'd tried to take his anguish into himself when nothing
else made it fade. Tyler didn't leave Will alone much lately,
didn't allow him to be unaccountable, and so they argued.
Tyler was unyielding in a charming, irritating way, a puppy
pulling a trouser leg in his usual relentless fashion. It irritated
the hell out of Will—the man might as well move in with him.
As a matter of fact, Will wasn't quite sure he hadn't.

Will wanted something, anything to get away from the

stench of failure with a woman he loved, trusted, wanted only
to make happy, and so the drinking became more and more a
regular part of their nights, that and picking up women. Didn't
help, but then it didn't hurt. He didn't care if it did. Too many
failures and not enough reasons why left only himself to
blame.

Sandra pulled off her blouse slowly, Tyler a dark shadow

standing beside her, and Will's mind came back to the

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present. Her long hair settled against the smooth skin of her
back and shoulders. One of her hands dipped beneath the
waistline of her pants, rubbing, touching herself. She was
lovely.

She's not Anna, his mind insisted helplessly, so he

strangled the thought to a slow death. Just another night
spent wiping out the memories. Everybody's a user tonight.
He lay down on his back on the bed and watched the show,
blanking his mind.

* * * *

Sandra's eyes moved over their faces. Two pairs of eyes,

pale green and warm brown, drilling holes into her as her
shirt came off. Her skin broke out in goose bumps and her
nipples rose hard and pebbled.

Will wouldn't dance at the bar, but his clothes came

flowing off him like water, quick and graceful, his own kind of
dance. His legs were long and muscled, and his chest
gleamed in the low light from the street lamps outside, a
marble statue, smooth. She wanted to touch him, his clean
lines. He lay down on her bed and folded his arms behind his
head. His cock jutted upwards but he didn't move, didn't
touch himself.

Tyler stood there, only watching until Sandra turned to

him. She tugged at his shirt and he pulled it over his head,
his hair going haywire. His chest was furry and she reached
out to touch it, rubbed it, muscles rippling beneath her
fingers. Then came the jeans. He was so dark—midnight to
Will's moonlight. His eyes were hungry, primal.

After Anna

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Will wants the moment, nothing more, she thought. Tyler

wanted ... her? Maybe. But she noticed his eyes on his
friend's long body as well.

She didn't know them. Getting to know them wasn't high

on her list. But even she felt their connection, instinctively,
emotions feeding off each other, Will's craziness winding into
Tyler. And he let it in. Which meant he was almost as crazy.
But it was all more than she really cared to know.

She reached out and ran a hand over Tyler's ass,

beautifully shaped, compact. His skin was hot, and muscles
bunched beneath her fingers. She traced the shape of his
buttocks around to the tops of his thighs, brushing the hair
there lightly. He reached for her, breath hitching in his chest,
but she turned around and sank to the bed on all fours. His
fingers trailed over her bottom, down her legs as she moved
away.

* * * *

What, no underwear? Will grinned in the dim light. Are you

really ready for this, Ty? Then, as Tyler's jeans sagged to the
floor—guess you are. Will's smile grew and he smothered a
laugh.

Tyler didn't seem the slightest bit embarrassed at facing

his best friend with a hard-on, but then neither had Will. Tyler
smiled back at him, though there wasn't much humor in it,
somehow. Too much intensity. A shiver rolled over Will's skin
and the smile died on his face as Sandra's hands trailed over
Tyler's ass, light on dark skin, making their way front and
forward.

After Anna

by Theda Black

Sandra turned around to Will just as Tyler reached for her,

dropping onto the bed on all fours and crawling over the long
length of him on the bed. Her breasts swayed as she moved.
Will winked at Tyler, standing there empty-handed, and then
her mouth came down, tongue curling over and around his.
Tyler flew from his mind. Her body lowered onto Will, settled
onto him, breasts and heat and smooth skin, and his arms
came around her back. Eyes closed, his cock pressed upward,
hardness against softness, their mouths exploring each other
frantically.

Suddenly there was a cool draft of air between them as

she lifted her body from his. Her mouth left him and his arms
fell back over his head. He guessed she was going to Tyler.

Another thought of Anna advanced on him. He choked it

off brutally and chased it away, eyes closed. Then the electric
feel of a wet mouth traced its way up the center of his chest,
and his breath caught in his throat. He arched into it, heart
surging, pulse galloping. Teeth scraped across his bare skin,
stopped at a nipple, lapping, urging it to a taut peak. He
groaned. His cock throbbed. Fingers slipped into his own,
overhead, and held him down.

The mouth came down over his, hard lips claiming him,

tongue tracing his own, gently but wanting, needing him, and
he knew. Had known. Sandra wanted him but didn't need
him. Nobody needed him that way. So he'd told himself.

His lips tingled with electric shock even while his body

bowed upward helplessly to meet the tongue exploring his
mouth, the lips roaming over his own, tasting, devouring.
Tyler's breathing was harsh, and his hands clasped Will's

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roughly, pushing down into the pillows. Will's body shook and
hummed with the enormity of what was happening, but
alcohol and reckless curiosity pushed it back. Tyler kissed him
as if he might never get the chance again, his mouth
ravenous, the dark beginnings of his beard scraping Will's
skin.

He tasted good. He tasted like he'd always known Tyler

would.

These long nights after Anna died, all the drinking and the

fucking, nothing, nothing was enough until now, Tyler
exploring every inch of his mouth, the corners of his lips,
worrying them with his teeth, burrowing into him, tasting of
beer and warmth and wanting. Tyler's groan was in Will's ear,
vulnerable, ragged, and Will thought for a moment that the
sound of it alone could make him come.

Where in hell is this coming from? He and the alcohol

worked at subduing his runaway worries to mere flashes—the
future, what they would do next, how they'd act with each
other. He thought too damned much, anyway. Doesn't
matter, he kept repeating to himself. His mantra. It only
mattered that it felt good, better than he'd thought even in
the wildest wanderings of the imagination.

He twined his tongue languorously around Tyler's,

experimenting. It was strange to have such heat and strength
and fierceness clasping his hands so tightly, and in his mouth,
and pushing him down into the bed. To have the fevered
rigidity of Tyler's cock pressing his hipbone. He rubbed
against it, arching, experimenting, and Tyler moaned again, a
low rumble in his chest. His nerve floated high and sweet

After Anna

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above him and he made a noise he couldn't help, then, so
unrecognizable to him as to almost be a separate thing.
Tyler's dark eyes flew open, made more striking by the
shadow-lashes lining them, and he smiled at the noise.

Beautiful. I always knew that, Will thought, meeting his

look but unable to hide the shock of what was happening to
him, how it felt to have Tyler's hands on his body—a still and
numbed disbelief combined with the high-buzz of sex. Tyler
saw it in his face, the glassy look in his eyes. Uncertainty
overcame the passion and he pulled away, slightly. Then
more.

Will couldn't move. Couldn't say anything until the guilt

and anger in Tyler's eyes turned away and it was too late.

Then Will screamed after him, a sound without words,

unable to express what he wanted in any way that made
sense, but Sandra was there, lips covering the sound, moving
over him, cool, slender fingers sliding around his cock. For a
second he wanted to strangle her while she pumped him. Her
lips moved against him. He didn't respond, opening his eyes.
Tyler was behind her, his hands on Sandra's breasts. His
mouth on her ass.

Will's mind went white and he kissed her savagely. He

touched her and fucked her, no gentleness to him, and knew
that Tyler watched and wanted him. And that he wanted
Tyler.

* * * *

Will left in the early morning darkness, no excuses made,

pulling from Sandra's body, still semi-erect after an explosive

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orgasm that opened up into a large and howling emptiness in
his head. It kept growing and he knew it would only grow
more as Tyler rolled on his side to face Sandra.

Will drove home. Tyler would just have to get a cab. He

went into his apartment, opened the cabinet and poured a
shot of vodka, trying to chase away the images of the
evening. It didn't work and by now alcohol tasted like pure
hell, but hell was what he wanted so he drank some more.

Passion burning in warm brown eyes. Hands holding him

down.

Less than an hour later and the door opened. The lights

were off, but Will knew the footsteps outside the door before
it ever opened.

Tyler walked to him, a dark shadow, crouched beside him

and put his hand on his knee. "We gotta do something, Will.
You know?" Tyler's voice was soft as velvet, halting, and Will
drank it in. "I'm trying to keep up with you but it isn't
working, so you gotta tell me what I can do, okay? I've never
seen you stop taking care of yourself, stop caring about
everything."

"I loved her, Tyler, and I can't get over it because you

think it's time," he answered, his voice dragging. Don't think
about anything else.

Tyler squeezed his leg. "No, there's more to this.

Something's got you to the point where I'm starting not to
recognize you. C'mon, Will, if I can see that, then can't you?"

"Just what the fuck is enough to bring me down to the

depths you think I've sunk to?" He wanted to sound angry but
his voice carried only tiredness.

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Tyler's fingers rubbed softly against Will's denim-clad leg,

and small runners of warmth and electricity traced their way
up through his flesh. "You tell me."

Will blinked into the darkness, struggling to contain the

sudden anger that replaced the emptiness in his chest. It isn't
enough she's dead? There has to be more? His pulse raced
and heat flushed his face, but Tyler couldn't see it in the dark.
"Gotcha, pal. Let's see. Maybe you're thinking I want to fuck
your brains out as much as you do mine?" he said, voice
deceptively soft. "That'd be enough to fuck up my head,
right?" He placed his fingers deliberately over Tyler's and
squeezed. "Has it fucked up yours?" Tyler was frozen. "What's
the matter, Ty? I'm talking to you now, just like you wanted,
hmm?" He sank down onto the floor and leaned close. "As I
recall, you're the one who tried to nail me to the couch," he
breathed, drawing still closer to Tyler's face. "So you tell me,
what do I need to get over this, Doc?"

"God you're a bastard." Tyler's voice was flat.
Will moved closer. Tyler hardly ever acted in fear, and now

he didn't move, didn't speak, but Will knew he was wary. He's
only afraid when you get hurt, you asshole. He knows you're
hurting now, no matter how well you think you're covering.
But that only made the thing in his chest twist like a live
snake, wanting to strike. "Confession's good for the soul, Ty.
You've got the floor."

"I already did, remember? On the couch that night. No

words to it, but I think you got the message. I know I did,"
Tyler answered, his voice neutral.

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"How'd that go, exactly? I remember my part, but yours ...

lemme see if I remember it..." Will breathed and lowered his
face to Tyler's, fingers wrapping around his jaw, stroking.
Tyler pulled in a deep breath but didn't move away.

Will's mouth touched his, sliding, tasting with lips and

tongue. It was strange, touching Tyler the way he'd only
touched women before. He knew the bow in the upper lip,
how it would curve when Tyler was amused or irritated or
bored. But he'd never known what it felt like, never even
thought about the indentation of warm, salty skin beneath his
lips.

Will's insides clenched. More. He wanted to make him feel.

He pulled Tyler down with him on the floor, grinding his
mouth into his. Harder, then frantic, and suddenly he couldn't
breathe past his need.

Something inside Tyler erupted and he groaned, grabbing

Will's hair at the back of his head, sank his fingers into it,
pulling, thrashing up to meet him. Their tongues meshed
together, curling over one another, exploring, and still it
wasn't enough.

Will's body straddled Tyler's, his hand lowering to his

throat, caressing the thin skin there, warm beneath his
fingers. Tyler's shirt was all but unbuttoned and Will ran a
hand down into it, marveling at the feel of the hair there,
softer than he'd thought. He ran a long finger lightly over the
nub of a hard nipple, then again, feeling a shiver course over
Tyler's flesh. He pinched it between his fingers,
experimenting, and Tyler made a sound somewhere between
a shout and a plea in Will's mouth, then ripped his lips away.

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"Goddamn you, Will, if this is some kind of fucking game—

" but Will's mouth rammed over his again, their teeth clicking
together, fingers holding his face as if afraid he'd get away.
Tyler pushed back, a small sound of greed and hunger forcing
its way past his guard. His tongue slid over Will's and his cock
throbbed against his stomach, demanding attention.

"You think I'd play games with you, Tyler?" Will's voice

was low, taunting. Tyler sucked in a harsh breath at the
sound. Will shrugged, answering his own question. "Maybe.
But you know, too, don't you, there's nothing I wouldn't do—"
And his head moved lower over Tyler's body, his mouth
descending on a nipple, sucking hard, fingers trailing behind
over the hair and warm skin beneath the open shirt.

* * * *

Tyler told himself he wanted to tell Will to stop and knew it

for the lie it was before the thought fully formed. He'd never
been so overpowered by need and lust, never so out of
control. Even his skin felt too tight for his body.

The blond head lowered further. Even in the dark that hair

shone, always had. Tyler's mind roared, his cock ached and
his balls drew up against his body as Will's mouth licked down
his stomach, biting, then soothing. Will's body held him down,
captive, shaking, straining. Helpless.

Just this once. Just to know, once. "Will, Will, you're going

somewhere and I don't know if I can get us back—"

"Then stop it, Ty. Can you stop it? Tell me to stop."

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"Do what the fuck you want!" Tyler yelled, hating himself,

hating Will. Why can't you tell him to stop? His own inner
voice echoed Will's, contemptuous.

Will ripped at the button on Tyler's blue jeans and yanked

at the zipper, the brrr of it nearly lost beneath the sound of
their ragged breaths. He moved down to Tyler's feet, pulled
at a shoe, cursed. "Kick 'em off, Ty." The shoes came off, and
he tugged the jeans down and off, leaving them in a heap on
the floor where he tossed them. Coins from the pockets rolled
over the floor. His fingers came in under the waistband of
Tyler's underwear and pulled it down, cock springing free. It
bobbed against the dark skin of his stomach. Will looked at it,
then at Tyler, and the look was charming, golden Will, smiling
sweetly, but the eyes were wide, nothing in them—

No, I gotta stop this. But the voice was only in Tyler's

mind, and Tyler's mind wasn't what wanted to play. Will bent
and took the crown of his cock in his mouth, sucking
delicately, licking, then sucking him in again, strong. Tyler's
muscles stretched in taut relief under his skin and his heart
pounded like thunder, his sanity a slow second buried behind
the feeling of the wet mouth on him.

Will's mouth. My God. Will. Will suctioned him in, then

blew a long breath out, clamping down around Tyler, inhaled
him, further, harder—

He gagged. He couldn't seem to stop choking and

coughing. The sound of it was harsh in the otherwise silent
apartment. Tyler sat up, trying to stuff all his feelings back
into his body, which suddenly seemed too impossibly small to

After Anna

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contain them. His head floated down from the ceiling in an
effort to grasp reality. He felt sick to his stomach.

Will leaned on one arm, breathing hard, some crazy noise

deep down in his throat trying to make its way out. He
sounded like a wounded animal.

Tyler touched his hair. "C'mon. Will? I'm sorry, God I'm

sorry." He stopped, swallowing hard, holding his own
emotions in check with each breath. Just hanging on.

Will wouldn't look at him. "You didn't say no."
"My usual back-up went AWOL," Tyler replied miserably.
Will swung his head up, startled, and smiled tentatively

almost as if he'd forgotten how. "Yeah? I guess it did."

"Give me my damn pants, Will." Tyler's voice rose, lashing

out in frustration and building fury. "Fuck you, by the way. I'd
like to smash you in the face, you know that, nobody can take
the crap you dished out tonight. I'm telling you for the last
time, step back from whatever the hell it is in your head while
you've got a friend left to help you do it."

"Ty. Maybe we can't get over this one. I mean, I had your

dick in my mouth. For Christ sake."

"Tyler winced. "It's removable. I mean from your ... uh ...

shit," he said, and startled himself with a sudden loud whoop
of a laugh that faded almost before it started. "I don't know
what I'm doing here at all, to tell you the truth." He paused.
"You fucking coward."

"Coward. Name calling now?" Will glared at him.
"You heard it right the first time," Tyler said, struggling

back into his pants.

"Where the hell do you get off—"

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"Because I'm your partner. The one who goes after the

bad guys with you, time after time. And we win. You're the
best cop I know, Will. And I'm your best friend, still your best
friend—" Tyler's voice broke for a bare instant. "If only
because I'm an idiot. But I don't know if we win this time.
Don't know if you've left enough of us that can still look each
other in the eye."

They watched anything but each other in the silence that

followed.

"Oh God," Will breathed, hanging his head. "What the fuck

... what the fuck am I doing." He squeezed his eyelids tightly
together.

"Didn't say I'm going anywhere, asshole. I don't know

what to do is all." Tyler forced himself to touch Will's
shoulder, though at the moment it was the last thing he
wanted. Somehow they'd stepped into an alternate reality
where they were a threat to each other and their relationship
was breakable. He was almost afraid to breathe.

"Why didn't you stop?"
"Leave it, Will."
"You always do what it takes, you know. You're the black

and white guy, Ty, no in between, always doing what you
think is right, no matter how much it costs you. Always
have." Will's face was pale, eyes searching for the answer in
Tyler.

"You sonovabitch." He grabbed Will's shirt by two fists and

shook him. "Is that what you thought would happen? Well
guess what, you screwed up."

"Why?"

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"Because it was you. Because I wanted it. You know what,

I still do," he said, hearing his voice go smooth, mocking. He
let go of Will's shirt. My God, shut up. How desperate are
you? He was unbelievably angry, hurt, but more, his pride
had been in the ring and received a knock-out punch. He'd
been played royally.

So Will acting out this insanity meant he had to go nuts as

well? He pulled down his zipper.

Apparently.
"Not too late, Will," Tyler said past the voice inside

screaming at him to backpedal.

Will smiled and said, soft, "No. You're right, Ty."
Tyler stepped back, stunned. And then Will's hands were

around the back of his head, pulling Tyler towards him, and
something broke open in them both. They lunged for each
other, Tyler's lips devouring Will's for the second time that
night. Tyler's hard-on roared back to life, heedless of the
earlier disaster.

"Playing with fire, huh?" Will said, pulling back and

grabbing Tyler's hand, placing it over the bulge in his pants.

Tyler rubbed the rounded bottom of the bulge with his

fingers while dragging the palm of his hand hard against Will's
cock beneath the jeans. Will grunted and slammed him
backwards into the nearest wall for his trouble, kissing him
again. "Ow. You're not manhandling a two-bit crook in the
street, here. I said I'm not going anywhere."

"Shut up. Take it off. And this time, I mean all of it, all the

way off."

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Tyler stared at him, trying to regain some semblance of

sanity. It was no use. He'd been drunk for a month, tonight
had soundly screwed a woman he could care less about, and
to top matters off his best friend in the whole world had
sucked his cock. And then gagged, apparently revolted by the
thought of said cock.

And they were gonna go for it again.
Against every rational thought in his head, Tyler followed

an instinct too small to bet on. "Bedroom. No more floors."

Clothes came off, each piece tossed on the floor, marking

their progress. Hands rushed over each square inch of newly
revealed skin. Will kissed Tyler down onto the bed, pushing
his body with his own. Finally Will got a lip nicked hard
enough to bleed and that slowed them down some. Will's
mouth was soft, swollen, and he ducked his head in and out,
tasting Tyler's lips, sucking, rubbing, pulling away for an
instant, then coming back. His hands brushed over a part of
Tyler's body each time. Tyler gave up chasing him and tried
to relax and enjoy it, but his blood was rushing and humming
through his veins and his cock felt heavy as stone. He kept
jerking upwards, trying to push himself into Will's hands.
Will's mouth landed on Tyler's bottom lip, coasting upwards at
the same time as his fingers skimmed over his cock, then
lifted away. Tyler choked out a protest, but Will just covered
his mouth with his until he was quiet, then started all over
again until Tyler squirmed, cursing.

Will's head lowered down Tyler's body until Tyler grabbed

his arm and stopped him. "Haven't you had enough of that for
today—" he started, but Will was gone from his grip and Tyler

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was engulfed in a long, wet slide of mouth. Yelling, he rocked
up on the bed, pawing at Will's smooth back. Will was
insistent, stroking him swiftly, sucking hard, sliding back to
tongue the skin just beneath the crown. Tyler's body jerked
upwards helplessly as Will's tongue delved into the slit of his
cock. He wrapped his lips around the crown and sucked some
more. And some more. And now his hands rejoined the act.

Tyler's hands pushed hard against Will's head, urging him

on. "Will, you better—ah, God, I'm gonna, you better get
outta the way—" And that's all he had time to say. Will
replaced his mouth with tightly wrapped fingers when Tyler's
cock jumped, pumping him into a rippling orgasm that lasted
forever. Tyler shouted, then collapsed open-mouthed and
panting against the pillows. Gradually the spasms diminished
and Tyler went limp against the mattress.

"Godamighty, sweet Jesus," he said and Will laughed,

scooting up beside him, lips flushed and swollen, blond hair
mussed and curling at the ends. Tyler's hand came down to
his face, touching the reddened spots on Will's fair skin
around the mouth.

"My beard did this? Looks like windburn," Tyler murmured,

his voice husky. His hand flopped down to land on Will's cock,
which leapt at his touch. Tyler wrapped his fingers around it,
smiling. "You're kind of big, you know that?" he asked, eying
Will. He stroked up the shaft. "And are you sure you haven't
done that before?"

Will gasped and pushed into Tyler's hand. "I'm sure. Well,

I mean I thought of it before. Lately. Usually when extremely
drunk. With you, I mean," he said. Tyler's mouth lowered to

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follow his hand and Will grabbed his hair, halting him. "What
are you doing?"

"My taxes, Sherlock. Let go."
You're—do you know how to do this?"
"Better than you, I bet," said Tyler, and laughed when Will

looked affronted. "What's wrong?"

"What if you ... what if you ... how do you know you'll like

it?"

Tyler threw Will an incredulous look. "You're kidding, right?

After my confession and all? You're my walking wet dream,"
Tyler teased, and Will reddened. "I want to, Will. Don't doubt
it, okay?" Will looked away and nodded. Tyler's body moved
lower. "Look at this damned thing. You're kind of ... well,
pretty. You know it?" Tyler asked, inspecting, and blew
gently.

Will, who'd been about to give him the finger, arched back

instead, biting off a moan. "Yeah, that's what all the girls
say," he managed to get out before Tyler blew again.

"You like that, huh." Tyler's mouth lowered all around Will,

but still wide open, trying not to touch skin.

"Oh my God, Tyler, shut up and—and—please?" Tyler

closed his mouth around him in a rush, stroking his hand in
time with his mouth down to the base. "Oh mygod—"

"I think you're the one needs to shut up," Tyler stopped,

mumbling through a mouthful. "You're ruining my
concentration—"

Will yanked his hair. "I'm not the only one who yelled

tonight."

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The warm mouth left him, and Tyler's body floated slowly

back up until he faced Will. "You really don't want to piss me
off right now, do you?" Will shook his head no, eyes rounded.
"Good." He smiled widely and looked Will full in the eyes.
"You taste just like a wet dream should," he said deliberately,
delighting in Will's embarrassed frown. "I'm a lucky man." He
dropped back down. "I was just kidding about the yelling,
though. Yell all you want."

Will squirmed as Tyler's fingers slid down the length of

him, followed by his lips, and Will pumped helplessly into the
warm mouth surrounding him. His fingers dug into the
crumpled sheets, remaining obstinately silent. But his face
turned pink.

"Let it out," Tyler ordered, and slid his lips over the crown

of Will's cock, dragging his teeth lightly over the edges. He
sucked down the shaft and back up, resuming his rhythm.
Will's skin heated and tightened, and Tyler listened to the
sounds he made, amazed and aroused all over again. His jaw
began to ache, his mouth to tingle, but he ignored it, losing
himself in the suction and rhythm, the smooth hard glide of
Will's cock against his lips and tongue. Tyler felt him tremble,
felt the muscles of his legs tense, and gave him one last,
long, magnificent slide of mouth and hand from base to tip. It
was a hell of a trip.

Will yelled, long and loud, and Tyler grinned, trying to jam

his heart back down where it belonged at the sight of that
long throat arching back as the morning light flooded in
through the window.

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He was just glad they weren't at his place. Will's neighbors

were probably in an uproar by now.

[Back to Table of Contents]

After Anna

by Theda Black

Chapter Twelve

Twenty-Three Days After
It was dark in the bedroom. Tyler sprawled naked on his

back, sweat damp in his hair. There wasn't a bone left in his
body. Couldn't be. They'd all dissolved.

Will lay beside him on his stomach, arm surrounding a

pillow. "We have to be careful, Ty."

"I'm careful." Tyler yawned and reached out to rub a

boneless hand over Will's ass. "I can't walk."

"So don't."
"Gotta take a piss."
"Oh. Okay, just roll across the floor or something."
"You just ain't funny."
"It's our jobs. It's everything. We can't look at each other

that way." Will's face and eyes were steady. Serious.

"What way?"
Will tipped his head, considering Tyler. "That way. The way

you're looking at me now."

Tyler grinned at him, unconcerned. "Nah, I'm not doing

this. I'm not worrying it to death thinking about tomorrow,
next month, what people on the job think. This is ours, Will.
We're not stupid or naïve. Let it go, we know what's at
stake."

Will sighed, choosing the path of least resistance for the

moment. He felt too good.

"Listen, I want to ask you something."
Will stifled a yawn. "So ask."

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"Remember when I asked you what else was wrong? What

else besides, uh, Anna, I mean."

"Yeah." Will's voice was noncommittal.
"What else was it?"
"Don't know."
"Don't hand me that. C'mon. Please."
"You always have to know what's going on in my head,

why is that?" asked Will, irritation showing.

"Because I—" Tyler clamped down on sudden thought and

feeling. He'd almost said I love you without a second thought.
"Because," Tyler said, stammering as Will's gaze sharpened
and whipped to his. "What's going on in that insane asylum in
there affects me almost as much as you. I gotta keep up on
your mental health, you know."

Will rolled over and fitted his body to Tyler's, his eyes

crinkling as he smiled. "That it, huh."

"Yeah."
Will's hand rested on Tyler's flat stomach, absently

rubbing. "Okay, okay. Well, Anna's a part of all of it ...
everything that's been going wrong, it's all jumbled up in
here." Will tapped his head. "I ... it's just that I used to think
we made a difference out there. Now I'm not so sure about
that. Not anymore. I mean, most days I get by, you know?
But then ... things happen." His voice dropped lower. It was
mesmerizing. "There you are on top of the world, right? In
love, loved, everything's perfect. Or it would be, but it's all a
lie to begin with. Anna kept me out of everything she was
going through, and I never got to face her with it because she
hid it and because I was blind. Did she think I wouldn't

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understand? That I wouldn't help?" His face had gone
wooden, expressionless. "How much did she hurt lying out
there in the road, dying? Was it quick or slow?"

"Will—"
"You wanted to hear this, so hear it. I—I kept wondering,

thinking about that, and all the drinking in the world didn't
make it stop. I couldn't save her, couldn't tell her what I
thought of her shutting me out, didn't have a chance to live
with the knowledge of everything she'd hidden before she was
just ... gone." He was silent a moment. "And then it just
seemed to get bigger. Like ... how many failures, how many
days out on the street before all you see is the bad guys
winning and you stop caring? I think I almost did."

"No," Tyler said. "No. That's not you."
"Yeah? Someday, Ty. I'm telling you."
"No. Not you. Remember? You're gonna save the world—"

But the words slipped out and faded, fell down a black hole,
replaced by Anna's voice in his head.

I didn't mean for any of this to happen.
He'd gotten a chance to hear what Anna had to say, looked

into her eyes when he'd told her what he knew. But not Will.
He hadn't known. And then it was too late.

"What is it? What's wrong?" Will touched Tyler's hair, the

back of his neck.

I know I've betrayed his trust, but I still love him more

than I've ever loved anyone. A trembling voice, scared of
what Tyler asked her to do. Tyler listened to her, hands
balling the sheets in his fists. Will's voice was far away,

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demanding, concerned, but he had to hear what she needed
to say first.

And when it had all played out again and fell silent in his

head, Tyler opened his eyes and told Will what he'd done.

[Back to Table of Contents]

After Anna

by Theda Black

Chapter Thirteen

Twenty-Six Days After
Tyler had expected more than the cold frost that

descended between them. It was all calm, no outbursts. Will
didn't talk much, looking off into some faraway place. Pretty
much ignored Tyler when he could, but politely, and was
even-toned when he couldn't. They worked together, after all.
But there was no more getting together after work, no more
touching. As if the touching and the heat had never
happened.

Well, Tyler amended, there's still heat, anyway. It's just all

one-sided. Will was like cool blue water, no reflections,
standing right there in front of him and yet somehow
removed from the situation. Tyler was the opposite, white
heat in overtime. He couldn't stop the erections, not very
well, and cold showers were highly overrated and not possible
when he needed them most. It was an embarrassment.

It had been three days ago that he'd told Will about his

visit to Anna, and after an initial shocked interruption, Will
had let him finish his story without another word. His eyes
were pain-filled, but already growing colder before the story
was finished. Tyler faced him resolutely the whole time he
recited his part in the events leading up to Anna's death. He
tried not to flinch at the look in Will's eyes.

At the end, Will said only one thing. "You didn't tell me."
Part of him wanted to point out his reasons for his actions.

To touch, seek reassurance. But it wasn't necessary. Will

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would know the reasons why, and Tyler couldn't touch the
man if he didn't want to be touched. Not again.

And so far the man didn't want to be touched.

[Back to Table of Contents]

After Anna

by Theda Black

Chapter Fourteen

Twenty-Nine Days After
The lanky guy in the small grocer's store threw a wall of

stacked soup cans over onto Tyler and Will and ran out the
door. Tyler did a somersault over most of them and landed in
a corner, cursing viciously, while Will stumbled backwards
into another set of shelves. He righted himself and raced out
the door while Tyler was still slamming into things.

The suspect rushed out into the bright sunshine and

climbed into a battered old car. The vehicle had started and
Will's weapon was drawn when a little girl skipped out in front
of the store, her terrified mother screaming as she spotted
the gun. Will dodged around the pair and threw himself on
the hood of the moving car. He hooked his left arm around
the open side of the passenger window and banged on the
windshield with the grip of his gun. The metal edge of the
windshield caught the sunlight, and Will squinted inside. At
least the guy didn't have a weapon. He'd already tossed it
down in the store at Tyler's orders.

Will slid the gun across the glass and pointed it at the

driver's face. The guy was accelerating fast, panic written all
over him, and when he saw the tip of the muzzle slide over he
swung the wheel sharply. Will tried to hold on and failed, his
body flying off the car, swinging round, skidding backwards
on the pavement. His shirt pulled up with the drag. The skin
burned over his ribs.

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Tyler pelted down the parking lot after them. He stopped,

squinting after the fleeing car. "Got it," he muttered,
repeating the license number one more time. He turned
around and saw the blood-smeared pavement in front of Will,
the body facedown, unmoving.

"Will!" he yelled. Suddenly all the air in the world wasn't

enough for breathing. He knew he'd taken the guy's gun from
him. Was there another, had he missed it? "No, no way," he
whispered, falling on his knees beside Will. He touched the
back of the bright hair ruffling in a light breeze. "Will. Say
something!"

"Hurts," Will moaned and tried to lift his head. The right

cheek and below was bloody, too.

"Call an ambulance, now!" Tyler bellowed at the gathering

crowd and leaned in closer. "Will, are you shot?"

"Ah, God." Will's voice was thin. "Goddamn it hurts." He

tried to turn, but couldn't. "Will you help me?"

Tyler helped him turn over. His shirt was pulled high on his

chest and where the skin was bare, the ribs were masked in
blood, trailing off down his stomach. The skin was lacerated,
bits of blacktop and tiny rocks embedded in places. Tyler's
breath hissed inward at the sight. He composed himself,
leaning down to inspect the scraped skin. He didn't see any
entry wounds. Closing his eyes, he offered a quick thanks
heavenward and grabbed Will's hand, holding it like a lifeline.
Will squeezed it, and Tyler's hand trembled. "It'll be okay,
Will, I promise. The ambulance will be here any minute.
You're gonna be okay. You're scraped up pretty badly."

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"You think?" was Will's outraged reply. A couple of tears

spilled from his eyes and down into his hair. Tyler swiped at
the tears and Will groaned again, squeezing Tyler's hand until
the bones popped. Tyler let him.

It seemed a nightmare eternity until the ambulance

arrived, though Tyler's watch said it took all of five minutes.

[Back to Table of Contents]

After Anna

by Theda Black

Chapter Fifteen

Thirty-One Days After
"Look, I can manage on my own," Will said.
"Yeah, I bet. Doesn't matter. I'm not leaving you alone."
"I'm perfectly fine," Will said.
Tyler swung around in his tracks and headed for Will, his

face set. "No more. You hear me?"

Will's eyebrows rose. "Go home, Ty."
"If you ever get your head on straight and figure out that

Your Royal Pain in the Neck needs me," Tyler started, then
stopped. "No, not if. When. Some damn day when your thick
skull accepts the truth—" and realized with dismay that he
was no longer talking about Will's injury or even their
friendship. Turning his back, he started for the door, then
looked back at Will. "It gets old, Will. Real old."

Will watched the door close. "I know it does," he

whispered.

[Back to Table of Contents]

After Anna

by Theda Black

Chapter Sixteen

Thirty-Three Days After
The phone was ringing. Tyler squinted at the clock in the

darkness. Two in the morning. "This better be good," he
snapped into the receiver.

"You know that first time?"
"Huh? Will, you okay?"
"That first time together, Ty. I was gonna ... gonna give

you what you wanted, you know? No matter what. I didn't
have any feeling about it, or for you. At least I didn't want to.
I never wanted to feel again. But I couldn't do it. How did you
know, Tyler, that I—how did you know, even after
everything?"

Tyler sat up, heart banging unpleasantly against his ribs

with the sudden surge of adrenaline coming on the heels of a
sound sleep. He shrugged, forgetting that Will couldn't see
him. "I don't know. Maybe ... just things. Like when I jumped
you at your apartment that time. You ... responded. At first.
Took you a few minutes to walk away. Ah hell, I don't know,
Will. You've been part of me for a long time now."

"You knew even when I didn't?"
"I hoped. And something changed that night." He paused.

"What was it?"

"You were going to leave and there was no way to make it

up. There was only making it over. And I wanted to."

Tyler breathed into the phone. "I'm coming over." He

slipped the receiver into its cradle, not waiting for an answer.

After Anna

by Theda Black

It felt like it took forever to get there. Will was waiting for

him in the living room when he walked in the door. "You want
something to drink?" Will asked.

Tyler nodded. "You?" Will nodded, too. Tyler got two

glasses of juice and sank onto the couch beside him. Tilting
his head back, he took a long drink, the cold sweetness
flooding his mouth.

"It was easier, you know," Will said, "blaming you for her

death. An excuse to pull back, I guess. I got caught up again,
wondering how long she lay there on that damn road,
knowing she was dying and I wasn't coming. How bad did it
hurt, how alone did she feel?"

"Why do this, damn it!" Tyler erupted, glaring at Will.
Will returned his look calmly. "Because it's how I am. You

know that."

"Yeah, I know it." Tyler blew out a long, sighing breath.
"It's not your fault. You didn't hurt her," Will said, and his

voice was gentle.

"Maybe I put her in a position to be hurt."
"You were looking out for me, same as always. I knew

that. But even knowing that wasn't enough, not at first. I'm
sorry, Tyler."

Tyler looked at Will, leaning against the back of the couch.

His chest was bare, the skin at his ribs beginning to heal.
Tyler leaned over slowly, giving him the chance to pull away,
then placed his lips on Will's, tasting him, relearning. Will's
breath twined in his, warming, beginning to speed up. "You
sure you want to go this route again with me?" Tyler drew
back, unable to help asking the question.

After Anna

by Theda Black

"Shoulda asked before you got in my face, not after, don't

you think?"

"Will. You always going to put me through hell?" Tyler

whispered.

"It's what I live for," Will answered, and smiled. It was a

beautiful smile.

[Back to Table of Contents]

After Anna

by Theda Black

Chapter Seventeen

Thirty-Five Days After
The two sat on Tyler's couch, Will's head against the back

of it while Tyler slouched comfortably against his shoulder.
The television was on and though neither of them knew what
was playing, their eyes fixed glassily on the luminescent
screen. Finally Tyler yawned, blue shadows playing over his
face. "Maybe we oughta get some sleep."

"You think?"
"Yeah, I think. Being as someone's kept me up for the past

two nights."

"Someone, huh. It was you kept me up, buddy boy," Will

automatically accused.

A faint smile tugged at Tyler's mouth, eyes sleepily

following the action on the screen. Canned laughter spilled
from the speakers. "It was all me, huh? You had nothing to
do with it."

"Okay, so maybe we both made up for some lost time,"

Will finally said in a low voice, watching Tyler's face—the
eyes, messy dark hair, five-o'clock shadow long past five
o'clock. Exhaustion made his face pale, his eyes a little puffy,
but the soft, open expression on his mouth caught at Will's
throat.

Tyler looked away from the screen, tipping his head up to

meet Will's gaze. He turned over and leaned hard into Will's
body, pushing him down on the couch beneath them,
pressing his lips to the skin under Will's chin. "On the other

After Anna

by Theda Black

hand, sleep is overrated. You know?" He tongued his way
down to the smooth chest.

"Iron men like us don't need sleep," Will agreed, then

groaned as Tyler moved over to a tan nipple, sucking the slick
flesh into his mouth.

"I've gotta be careful. You get marked up too easy."

Tyler's mouth traced the curve of muscle at Will's arm. Will
wrapped his hand around Tyler's jaw, finger tracing his lower
lip, then dipped inside his mouth. Tyler caressed it lazily with
his tongue.

Will pumped his finger a little, and Tyler bit it. "Ow! What

was that for?"

"Got better things to do, St. James. Still have time to

make up for, you know." He nuzzled up under Will's chin
again, pulling the thin flesh in between his teeth.

"Ty. Weren't you just talking about not marking me up?"
"Sorry, sorry." Tyler caught Will's hand in his own. "I want

... be still. Let me, okay?" Tyler's mouth traced his collarbone,
then dipped down the center of his chest.

Will tried not to move, but it was hard. "All right. On one

condition. Take off your clothes first."

Tyler pushed himself up on his hands to hover over Will,

his lips unguarded, eyes soft. Will couldn't stop looking at
him. All the care-filled lines on his face seemed to have
disappeared. He looked so young.

"You first." Tyler eased down the waistband of Will's

shorts, the exposed skin golden in contrast to the white
material. He swallowed, eyeing Will, and yanked his T-shirt
over his own head, ruffling the dark hair on his chest. Next

After Anna

by Theda Black

came the jeans and underwear, and then they were both
naked. Tyler's hands moved down Will's shoulders, then his
arms. He wrapped his hands around Will's, which were curled
into fists. "Relax." Tyler slid down, his cock throbbing against
the warm body beneath him, and mouthed the still-healing
flesh around Will's ribs gently. Will flinched. "Hurts?"

"No, no," Will breathed. "I didn't expect it. Touching me

there." His chest rose and fell.

Tyler gave the healing skin a final, gentle kiss, then moved

down to Will's waistline, then further. He reached out and
touched the tip of his tongue to Will's cock, which jumped
wildly. "Glad to see me," Tyler said, and dragged his tongue
around the head.

Will made a deep noise in his chest and Tyler sucked him

in. Will thrust his hips upward, moaning, and Tyler's tongue
and lips worked up and down the shaft. "You—I—let go of my
hands, Ty," Will panted as coherently as he could. "I want—"
and Tyler squeezed the head of his cock between his lips in
answer. Will bowed up from the couch, straining. Veins stood
out in his neck. "Let me go!" he yelled.

"I got you right where I want you—with your eyes about to

blow back in your head," Tyler said, but nevertheless freed
one of Will's hands, which immediately shot up to grab the
back of Tyler's neck. "My way. Okay?" Tyler reminded. "Be
still." Scissoring the base of Will's cock with two fingers, Tyler
held him, letting his lips and his teeth and his tongue do all
the moving.

Will broke out in a fine sweat, chest moving up and down

as though he'd run a mile. His muscles quivered. The wave

After Anna

by Theda Black

was rising, and he fought the urge to buck or push, to let
Tyler control it all. He kept on rising with the wave long after
he'd thought it would crest, until his toes curled and every
breath he pulled in was deeper than the last, a rhythmic
gathering of everything he had. Tyler's lips and tongue drove
him higher, demanded more and more, and the crest broke,
slow and powerful, all-consuming. He shouted and came
crashing down, spilling into Tyler's mouth.

Tyler swallowed it all and kept moving, sucking and

mouthing until Will made a small sound of protest and Tyler
had to give it up. He threw his body down against the sweaty
stomach beneath him, rubbing his face into the heated skin.

"You swallowed it. Gah." Will grimaced and wiped a hand

over his sweaty forehead. No answer. "It tasted bad. Didn't
it." Still nothing. "Get up here."

"Tired, Will."
"C'mon."
Tyler dragged his way up Will's body, his cock bumping

along various and sundry parts, and collapsed again on top of
him. Will could barely breathe. The guy was heavier than he
looked. "I just ... you're ... I've never ... unbelievable."

"Yeah." Tyler's nose settled comfortably in under his chin.

He seemed to like that spot.

"Ty."
"Yeah."
"Your turn."
"I'm good, I'm done."
Will sat up, tumbling Tyler in a heap to the couch beside

him. "What?"

After Anna

by Theda Black

"Dammit, Will." Tyler opened an eyeball to squint up at

him.

"Shut up. Lie down. Your turn."
"Don't make me squirm," Tyler warned.
"I won't make you squirm." A touch of impatience.
"After what I did to you, you're going to make me squirm.

I know it. I did what I wanted, you hear what I'm saying? I'm
not up for squirming. Tired."

"Well, if you're sure you're too tired." Both of Tyler's eyes

opened. "Yeah, that's what I thought. Look, just my hand, Ty.
Okay? That's all. Lie back." Will eyed the long dark body, then
got down on his knees beside the sofa. "You know what? I've
never really noticed before, but you've got killer legs.
Seriously."

"Yeah, whatever."
Will leaned over and kissed him, the fingers of one hand

on Tyler's jaw. His hand began a leisurely exploration
downward over the flat, hairy chest to find a nipple, stiffening
beneath his touch. His fingers traced ribs, going down the
center of the belly, dipping into the bellybutton and out,
following the line of hair downwards. He grasped the head of
Tyler's cock and twisted gently, and Tyler arched into his
touch.

"Just relax," said Will, the same as Tyler had told him

earlier. He was absorbed in every reaction elicited—the way
Tyler thrashed, the softness that showed in his eyes. Tyler's
eyes on his were filled with a sense of wonder, as if they'd
both discovered something completely unexpected and
amazing together. Will pumped his cock in measured,

After Anna

by Theda Black

sweeping strokes from base to crown, and Tyler moaned,
reaching out to touch Will's smooth chest. Will's mouth
opened, slackened, and he closed his eyes and concentrated
on the rhythmic strokes, the firm, velvety feel of Tyler's flesh.
The body beneath his hands was a vibrating wire, thrumming
with energy.

Tyler's eyes stayed on Will, all his attention focused on

warm touch and clear green eyes, open again, staring at him,
in him, part of him, one melding into the other. It was
overwhelming, a bomb gathering in his balls, hard and heavy,
undeniable. He came and came in deep, astonishing spasms,
gasping, shaking through it all, never looking away, amazed
that he couldn't, afraid that he couldn't, afraid of severing the
connection. The semen jerked out of him and Will caught it in
the cup of his palm, rubbing it between his fingers as Tyler
grew quiet.

Will's face went from soft and open to tighter, suddenly

scared. He looked about fifteen years old, and Tyler's heart
dropped to his stomach.

The connection broke.
"Tyler. What ... what the hell was that?" Will's voice was

cautious. He looked at the floor.

Tyler pulled all the emotion from his face and sealed it

away. "You promised you wouldn't make me squirm, so
instead you just knocked me through the roof. That's what."

"C'mon. Stop playing games."
It pissed Tyler off. "I'm not the one playing games. You

know what the hell it was so don't ask. It was us."

After Anna

by Theda Black

Will got back on the couch, grimacing at the carpet nap

stamped on his knees. He leaned over and brushed cool, dry
lips over Tyler's in apology. It felt as if he were already
withdrawing. Tyler kissed him back, put everything he had of
himself in the gentle touches, but it wasn't going to be
enough.

"What are we gonna do?" Will said when their lips parted.
"Don't ruin it, Will. Just don't."
"I can't help it. Why the hell now? You know what some of

those guys at the department will do if they find out, right?"
Tyler didn't answer. "Not to mention they'll have to bust up
the partnership. Hell, they should. I'm not ready for this."

Tyler closed his eyes, considered denying the feelings that

had taken him over. He couldn't. Neither of them had
expected anything to go the way it had. He knew Will wasn't
ready—hadn't suspected that he himself could possibly be
ready.

So now what.
Tyler spoke, and he still wouldn't open his eyes. His voice

was rough, uneven. "Then it's done."

"What the hell are you talking about?"
Tyler didn't answer.
"No." The room was too still. "Wait. Don't do this, Tyler.

Will you look at me?" Will asked, his voice climbing. But there
was only more silence. "I don't know what the hell I want
right now, okay?"

"I do," said Tyler softly, finally answering. He opened his

eyes and tried to smile. "Go home."

After Anna

by Theda Black

"But..." said Will, standing naked in the middle of the

room. He ran a hand through his hair and it stuck up on his
head in tufts. "I don't believe this, what are you doing? Just—
go home? That's it?"

"You're not ready."
"I'm not ready, that's right. I'm not, but it doesn't mean—

what about you?" Will nearly shouted. Silence. "Ty, you
know—you know, don't you? I lo—"

"Don't you say it, St. James. Don't you fucking say it."
"I don't give a shit. I—"
"You do give a shit. You just said so."
"You tell me, then. Just what the hell are we supposed to

do?"

"Nothing. Not until we can take it all on, together,

everything that comes with it." Tyler's voice was even, but
hard. Shutting him out even while it offered him everything.

Will stared at him. "What happened to the guy who

refused to think about tomorrow?"

"All or nothing, no in between, that's me. Remember? I

can't go down this path halfway. Not with you."

Will's face tightened. "Stop this, okay? I don't want to

leave, you don't want me to leave. I don't want to—"

"For God's sake," Tyler said, sounding bone-weary.
"—stop. I don't want to stop us." Will's voice was soft, that

wonderful low timbre he got when he was hurt or moved by
something. It trailed off, losing strength.

Tyler closed his eyes again against the voice and spoke

from the darkness inside his head. "What else is there,

After Anna

by Theda Black

goddammit, you tell me and I'll do it, anything, okay? Tell
me."

It was Will's turn for silence.
"I'll be here, Will. Okay? If the time comes for us. I swear

it." There was more silence.

He kept his eyes closed and listened as Will started to

dress. He kept them closed as Will walked out the door,
closing it gently behind him.

[Back to Table of Contents]

After Anna

by Theda Black

Chapter Eighteen

Thirty-Six Days After
The phone on the other end rang and rang. No one

answered.

[Back to Table of Contents]

After Anna

by Theda Black

Chapter Nineteen

Thirty-Seven Days After
Monday evening. On the job. They'd made it through the

day together somehow. Mostly silently. Once or twice both
had spoken at the same time, then fallen into mumbled
apologies and more silence. They were out of synch—
something they'd once taken for granted because it happened
so naturally. Will hoped they'd get it together again soon.
They were too vulnerable this way on the streets.

Tyler didn't want to talk about any of it.
It didn't matter, though, because Will had to tell him, no

matter if he wanted to hear it or not. He turned in the seat of
the car, opened his mouth and in that instant realized the
magnitude of the mistake he was about to make.

Hard enough to come out to your friends and family, but

he thought he could do it. Maybe. Eventually. But all it'd take
was one cop who couldn't understand, who wouldn't tolerate,
wouldn't back them up. It could cost them more than their
jobs—it could cost them their lives.

And Will was willing to bet there'd be more than one.
He just wasn't ready. Talking wasn't going to change it.

And Tyler knew.

All that was left was to go back to what they had been.

They could do it, had to do it. The alternative was no Tyler in
his life and that was no alternative at all. Besides, they'd been
together too long to forget how to be with one another, no
matter what truths came between them.

After Anna

by Theda Black

He was almost sure of it.

[Back to Table of Contents]

After Anna

by Theda Black

Chapter Twenty

Seventy-Eight Days After
Tyler's hands were on her ass, rubbing the smooth skin as

it moved over him. He rolled her over and sank inside her,
groaning. He made the sounds, the motions. He made sure
she got off. He tried so damned hard not to see Will's face,
feel Will's body beneath his hands. Tried not to remember.

Later on as she was leaving, she asked him his last name.

He smiled at her. "Does it really matter?"

She looked hurt for a moment, then shrugged. "Guess

not."

The door didn't even slam behind her.
Earlier that night, he and Will had ventured out to a bar.

The first time they'd went anywhere together aside from work
since they'd stopped sleeping together. But a bar was a stupid
choice. They'd both gotten a little drunk. Will followed him
into the bathroom and if someone hadn't come in at the exact
wrong minute, Tyler would have fucked Will's brains out in
one of the stalls and to hell with everything they'd said
before.

Stupid. So fucking stupid.
Later in the evening, with Will's new date installed in the

back seat of the car, Tyler looked up into the rear view
mirror. Will was watching him, and there was no expression
on his face. The blank look was supposed to keep Tyler from
knowing his feelings. Tyler didn't let on that it wasn't working.

After Anna

by Theda Black

Instead he smiled, holding out a cheerful, lying energy like a
shield to hold them together and move forward.

Or backward, depending on how you looked at it.
He couldn't afford to wonder about what might have been.

Most likely they'd have burned each other up. Will was like
that—a magnifying glass under sunshine. Tyler had found the
strength in himself, deep, patient, focused entirely on keeping
their friendship intact and willing what had passed between
them to fade, if not disappear.

He didn't want to lose Will. It was worth it. He kept telling

it to himself.

But for a split second Tyler faltered, allowing his thoughts

to show on his face. He glanced away from the still eyes
looking at him in the mirror from the back seat and realized
he'd fooled no one. Not today. He looked back again, but Will
was smiling at the girl.

Tyler pushed aside the thought of Will with her. With other

women. Relationships they might have. There was nothing
else to do but keep going. If the time came, they'd deal with
it, all of it, when they were both ready.

Someday.

[Back to Table of Contents]

After Anna

by Theda Black

About the Author

Theda Black lives in her native TN with her husband and

two daughters, writing in her spare (but mostly not-so-spare)
time.

If you are connected to the Internet, take a

moment to rate this eBook by going back to

your bookshelf at www.fictionwise.com.

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