Catch & Release

Kelly was in the middle of a rather wonderful dream. He couldn’t quite say
why it was wonderful, or even what the fuck was going on, but when he
dragged his eyes open and blinked at the rafters above his loft bedroom, he
was sorely disappointed to no longer be immersed in that dream.
He closed his eyes, stretching beneath the thick quilts and sighing. Nick
grunted beside him when Kelly inadvertently smacked him in the face, and
then he took Kelly’s hand in his and rolled over, pulling Kelly’s arm with
him until he’d forced Kelly to wrap around him and hold him.
Kelly smiled and scooted closer, snuggling against Nick’s warm back. He
didn’t mind losing good dreams so much if this was what he got to wake
up to.
“Merry Christmas, babe,” Nick mumbled after a few minutes of cuddling.
Kelly’s grin grew wider and he kissed at the Celtic cross that covered
Nick’s spine. “Merry Christmas.”
Nick huffed and flopped to his back, grunting and grumbling and just
making a fuss in general as he rolled over and wrapped around Kelly. He
scooted lower and pressed his face into Kelly’s chest, tossing an arm and a
leg over him and sighing contentedly.
Kelly rested his chin on top of Nick’s head, grinning wider as he held him,
his fingers trailing through Nick’s curly hair.
“I was dreaming,” he told Nick.
“Good dream or bad dream?”
“Good one. Why is it you can always remember every horrible detail of a
bad dream, but the good ones just leave these vague feelings behind for a
few seconds before you wake up? It doesn’t seem fair.”
“Life’s not fair,” Nick grumbled against his chest.
Kelly snorted. He closed his eyes, still smiling, and they both drifted off to
sleep again, wrapped up in each other.
When Kelly awoke again, the loft was flooded with morning light and
Nick was using his body to try to block it from his eyes. Kelly stretched
languidly, clutching Nick’s head to his chest even as Nick tried to free
himself. He was giggling evilly and wrapped around Nick like a limpet by
the time Nick managed to escape his clutches.

Nick rolled to his other side, mule-kicking at Kelly as Kelly tried to
snuggle up to him.
“Hey!”
“Go be cheerful somewhere else,” Nick huffed, sliding his pillow on top of
his head.
Kelly rolled his eyes and took a few seconds to consider if it would be
worth poking Nick a little more. Finally, he gave Nick’s belly a kiss, then
climbed out of bed to leave Nick alone by his sulky self.
It was Christmas morning, and despite his age Kelly had yet to wake on a
Christmas morning without that little flip of giddiness in his belly. He’d
been ten when his mother and father had been killed in a car accident on
the way home from dinner one night, and Christmas certainly hadn’t been
the only thing in Kelly’s life that had been altered forever.
He’d still been able to find the joy and love in the holidays, though. He’d
spent time with his grandparents, but when they’d become too ill to care
for him, Kelly had entered the foster system. Christmas in a foster home
had been hard, especially the first one. He knew he’d been lucky with his
placement because his foster parents had been kind, caring people, and
he’d been able to stay with them until he turned eighteen and aged out of
the system.
For the most part, his foster siblings had been good people as well. Two of
them had been in the home the entire time Kelly had been there, and he
was still quite close to them both. Others had flitted in and out, staying for
only months or weeks, or even a few days. Coming and going out of his
life like fireflies in the night, blinking on and then fading away, leaving
nothing but vapor trails of their glow behind.
Christmas was a time when Kelly found himself thinking back on all the
fireflies that had crossed his path and all the holidays he’d tried to make up
for the gaping hole in his life. They had made gifts for each other out of
things they found or scavenged or traded for, taking such pride in their
creations and cherishing what they were given.
To this day, the macaroni picture frames and the friendship bracelets and
the clay beads made in school were some of his fondest memories. He had
a glass coke bottle that one foster sister had covered in tightly wound
rainbow yarn, and he kept it on his kitchen counter, occasionally switching
out the wildflower he kept in it.

He was sitting in his kitchen, head cocked at the threaded Coke bottle,
when Nick came shuffling down the steps. Kelly turned on his stool,
raising one eyebrow at Nick pointedly.
Nick did look a little ashamed when he met Kelly’s eyes. “Morning,” he
said softly.
“Woke up on the wrong side of the bed, huh?”
Nick bit his lip, sighing. “I couldn’t sleep last night, I tossed and turned.”
Kelly set the teasing aside, his brow furrowing in concern. All the good
memories he had of Christmas? Nick had equally shitty ones to match.
“You want to talk about it?”
Nick shook his head and glanced over at the tiny potted tree they’d bought
at the farmer’s market when they’d gotten to Colorado. Kelly had put a
little burlap wrapped star on top of it, and Nick had found a garish battery
operated necklace with flashing Christmas lights and they’d wrapped the
necklace around the teeny tiny tree.
Those were the only decorations the little thing could host without falling
over.
Kelly looked over at it in confusion. He’d been quite pleased with it, even
if it was officially their first Christmas tree as a couple. It was so silly and
pitiful and glorious, and it was trying so hard to be just as good at its job as
a big tree could be. Kelly was proud of it, and when winter broke, he
intended to plant it.
He hadn’t noticed when he’d woken, but now there was a wrapped present
under the tree where there had been none the night before.
Kelly looked back at Nick, eyes widening. “You got me something? I
thought the thing was on backorder.”
“It was. Is. It still is,” Nick stuttered. He licked his lips and shifted from
side to side, rubbing his palms against his thighs. Kelly knew it was
something he did when he was consciously trying not to present as
nervous, to keep himself from running his hands through his hair. “But I
needed to have you something. So … I made you something.”
“You made me something?” Kelly echoed, sounding more incredulous
than he’d meant to.
A blush began to creep across Nick’s cheeks when he nodded. “Will you
go ahead and open it so I can stop worrying about it?”

Kelly bit the inside of his cheek so he wouldn’t smile too widely and make
Nick even more uncomfortable. He slid off the stool and picked up the
present, gliding his fingers over the tiny tree as he went by, and sat in the
recliner. Nick perched on the edge of the coffee table in front of him.
Whatever was inside the package was flat and circular, and Nick had
wrapped it up in layers and layers of newspaper. The funny pages, to be
exact. It brought back even more memories from Kelly’s youth, because
wrapping paper had been a luxury and the comics were the only thing in
the newspaper that were colorful.
Nick gave him a self-conscious smile, and Kelly took pity on him and
ripped into the paper. When he finally got through all the layers, he pulled
the last bits away and set the thing on his knees, blinking at the
dreamcatcher in shock.
“You made this?” Kelly asked Nick, raising his head, feeling his cheeks
flushing.
“I remembered the one you used to carry with you. You told me about
what it was supposed to do for you. Trap the bad dreams and let the good
ones slide down the feathers into the dreamer. And what it meant to you,
with your mom’s family being part Ute.”
“My mom and I made that one when I was little. I lost it when I got
divorced.”
Nick was nodding. Of course he knew that. He’d sat on the ground with
Kelly and dug through every box they could find, searching for it when
he’d lost it. He’d put an awkward hand on Kelly’s back when he’d hung
his head and cried over losing it. And he’d gone with Kelly months later to
have his dreamcatcher tattooed onto his ribs.
“I did some research into them, how they’re made, what they’re supposed
to stand for,” Nick told him. He was still blushing furiously. “It took me a
couple tries, the willow branches kept snapping on me.”
Kelly laughed softly, shaking his head as he ran one finger over the
wrapped edge of the curved willow hoop. The threads inside the hoop held
items from everyday life, meant to signify someone’s hopes and dreams.
Nick had taken a broken piece of turquoise from a necklace Kelly had
dropped a few months back and threaded the pieces into it. There was a
hunk of torn hemp off one of Kelly’s shoes, and a matching bit of denim
from a pair of jeans Nick had ripped. There was a piece of a seashell, and

chip off a turtle shell. The decorative handle of one of his grandmother’s
silver spoons that Kelly had snapped accidentally when he was cleaning
them. One of Elias Sanchez’s dog tags. Things Nick had gathered from the
yard, from the house, from his boat, from their lives.
He’d weaved them into the inside of the hoop, and three feathers flowed
from the bottom. They were each different, and Kelly recognized them as
feathers from birds that lived in the area. Whether Nick had found them or
procured them somewhere, Kelly didn’t know.
He didn’t care.
He grasped the dreamcatcher in his hand and lunged to his feet. Nick stood
with him, still looking almost sick with nerves. Kelly wrapped his arms
around Nick’s neck and clutched at him, fighting back a tightening in his
throat and tears in his eyes.
“Thank you,” he managed to say.
Nick held him close, patting his back. “I know that was something that
was part of your memories of your mom and dad,” he said in a rush. “I
don’t want to step on those. But I knew how much you loved the one you
carried with you. And I …”
“I love it,” Kelly whispered. “I love you.”
Nick kissed his neck, and Kelly could feel him deflating, relaxing now that
he knew he hadn’t overstepped some sort of boundary Kelly had put up
around his family.
Kelly held him tighter. “You’re my family, Nicko. That’s why you’re
home.”
Nick turned his face into Kelly’s and finally managed to steal a kiss. It
started sweet and safe, with Nick’s arms encircling him, his lips soft
against Kelly’s. But Kelly could feel the way Nick’s body was coiling, the
way he was preparing to ramp up.
Kelly grinned against his lips and tugged at Nick’s hair to stop him. Nick’s
eyes were like jade, and Kelly almost lost his thoughts to them. “Let me
put this somewhere safe,” he breathed, tapping the fragile dreamcatcher
against Nick’s ear.
Nick released him and Kelly set the dreamcatcher back in its wrapping,
then placed it carefully on the coffee table. A second later, Nick grabbed
him around the waist and tossed him toward the couch. Kelly actually
bounced when he landed, cackling as Nick climbed on top of him.

Missiles & Toes

Nick rolled over and reached out for his boyfriend, but all he got was a
handful of the expensive memory foam pillow Kelly had bought him for
his birthday and then refused to let him take home to Boston.
Nick forced one eye open, then wallowed in the sheets and gave a plaintive
moan once he realized he was alone in bed. “Kelly?” he called out, and his
voice echoed off the timber roof of Kelly’s cabin.
There was no response, and Nick sat up, shivering as the cold air hit his
bare chest. He fumbled around under the covers at the end of the bed for
his pants, sliding them on before he even dared step away from the
warmth.
“Kels!” he called out again after a fruitless search for a note or anything
left by the bed. The downstairs was dark and quiet. He dug his phone out
from beneath his pillow and called Kelly, telling himself this wasn’t
exactly worth getting worked up over. Yet.
“Hey, babe,” Kelly answered on the second ring. “Don’t be mad, okay?”
Nick closed his eyes. “How do you get in trouble when you’re supposed to
be in bed with me?”
“I woke up early, and I was restless, and you were sleeping really well so I
didn’t want to flop around and wake you.”
“That’s never stopped you before.”
“Do you want to start bitching at me for the way I wake you up? ’Cause I
can stop doing that.”
Nick bit his lip, knowing that if he started smiling Kelly would be able to
hear it in his voice. “No,” he answered obediently. “Where are you?”
“Well. You know those snow toy things you bought me for the camp?”
“The snow castle stuff?” Nick asked, his brow furrowing as he tugged on a
pair of thick Carhartt work pants that he’d bought specifically for trips to

Colorado in the winter. He’d gotten Kelly a dozen or so sets of red plastic
snow toys, and each set included a brick maker, a snowball mold, and a
few pieces that looked like sandcastle toys with turrets and things on them.
He’d given them to Kelly to take to the camp, because those things had
looked fun as hell and they got enough snow here to make them useful.
“Yeah, well, I never take anything to the camp until I’ve tested it to make
sure it’s not something that’ll be … you know.”
Nick grabbed the rest of his clothes and wandered toward the balcony,
instinct telling him that he might get more answers from stepping outside
than he would from Kelly over the phone.
He slid the door open and the cold stole his breath, but he stepped out
anyway, squinting in the sunshine that glared off the pristine new snowfall.
“It snowed last night,” Kelly told him. “So I figured, what better way to
test this stuff to see if it’s dangerous than with one of the Recon Marines
the Corps used to use to field test their equipment?”
Nick caught sight of the movement just a second too late. A hint of red
flashed in the white, and a perfectly round cannonball sized snowball
catapulted toward him, spinning and glistening in the sunshine. Nick
ducked and the snowball sailed over his head, splatting against the glass of
the sliding door.
“Incoming!” Kelly shouted, and his voice bounced off the trees and
mountains around them, echoing in the phone Nick clutched in his hand as
he ducked.
Nick flinched again, then peered over the edge of the balcony. Kelly had
used the brick mold to create a wall six feet high on the edge of the
treeline, with turrets and decorative flourishes, and a little green flag
hanging lazily from a stick.
Opposite his wall, maybe twenty feet away on the other side of the yard,
was an identical wall with a red bandana haphazardly balled up on top of
it. Nick could see a stack of pre-made snowballs at Kelly’s side, along with
a few more cannonball-sized creations next to a little wheelbarrow.
“Is that …” Nick peered closer at the contraption Kelly was settling
another cannonball into. “Is that a catapult?”
“I used the exercise bands they gave me at physical therapy, they are
seriously stretchy!” Kelly said into the phone, beaming up at Nick from
the backyard. He waved. “Come out and play with me or I start the

barrage.”
“Kelly,” Nick started, but as he looked down at what must have been hours
of work done during the early morning hours, Nick realized that this shit
looked fun as hell. He grinned. “Let me get my armor on.”
Two hours later, Nick couldn’t feel his nose, his toes, three of his fingers
on his left hand, or any of his fun parts.
He was crouched with his back against a tree, breathing hard and hoping
the cloud of frozen breath around him didn’t give him away.
Kelly had created the two forts equal, but he’d only made ammunition to
stock his own, and then he’d absconded with all the plastic gear, leaving
Nick to the old-fashioned method from his youth of grabbing a pile of
snow and praying. Nick had been at a disadvantage the moment he stepped
foot outside the cabin and almost got pegged with a cannonball in the
chest.
He was down to the last snowball he’d managed to scrounge up in the
times between assaults, which had lasted the few seconds it had taken
Kelly to load his fancyass fucking red plastic slingshot.
“There’s no shame in losing, Nicko,” Kelly taunted as he crept through the
woods behind Nick’s destroyed fort wall.
A cannonball laced with yellow biological materials had been launched at
the fortifications, and Nick had grabbed the red bandana and abandoned
his post, leaving what remained of his wall at the mercy of the pissball.
Kelly was following the trail he’d left behind on his retreat. “You can’t
hide in the snow, Red!”
Nick peaked around the trunk of his tree. Kelly had his back to him,
slingshot up, body low and ready. Every step he took crunched, loud in the
winter wonderland they were slowly but surely destroying with their play.
He was right, Nick couldn’t hide forever. One, he was fucking freezing.
And two, he was fucking hungry. And three, he didn’t intend to lose by
getting tracked down and shot by a ridiculous fucking Corpsman with a
Fisher Price snowball maker.
He wiped a few flaking pieces off his snowball and compressed it more,
adding to it until it was the perfect size, fitting in the palm of his hand just
like a baseball. He pulled his glove off and stuff it into his pocket, then
pushed to his feet, holding the snowball in his bare hand.

“All right, you bastard!” he called out, facing away from Kelly so the
sound would bounce off the trees in front of him and confuse the direction.
“I challenge you to a duel! One shot, one snowball. No plastic!”
“Fine,” Kelly shouted back. “No plastic. And no rocks!”
Nick laughed, and he peeked around the tree to find Kelly standing where
he’d been, slingshot still armed. When Kelly caught sight of him, he raised
the slingshot, showing Nick that he was setting it down. He held his
snowball up, grinning like a wildcat.
“Forty paces?” Kelly called.
“This’ll do,” Nick said, and he stepped away from the cover of his tree.
“What’s the winner come away with?”
Nick shrugged, but it probably wasn’t visible under all the layers he had
on. “Pride?”
“I think we both forfeited that when we started playing with plastic toys.”
Nick grinned. “Winner gets the night, then.”
“Ooh, a madcap,” Kelly crooned. He turned his body sideways, presenting
less of a target. “On your draw then, sir.”
Nick remained motionless, eyes narrowed, body buzzing, watching Kelly’s
movements like a hawk might observe a sparrow. When Kelly flinched,
Nick took a single step to his left and leaned his body as if fielding a ball
hit up the middle, just as he’d done twenty years ago when he’d been
scouted as a shortstop in high school. He went through with the motion,
twisting around and throwing with his left as he felt Kelly’s snowball arc
past his shoulder.
Kelly was ducking, but he wasn’t fast enough to escape Nick’s aim, and
the snowball pegged him center mass as he dove to the ground. He
howled, grabbing at his chest and flopping to his back, arms and legs
flailing when he sank deeper into the snow.
Nick had to crawl several feet before he found his footing again in the
almost foot and a half of snow, and he finally struggled the dozen or so
yards to stand over Kelly, who was grinning as he tried to blink flakes out
of his eyelashes.
“That was pretty,” Kelly muttered as he put a hand up for help.
Just as Nick had known he would, Kelly yanked him down to flop in the
snow when he grasped his hand.

They lay in a heap together, shoulders touching, everything frozen, staring
at the sky as it turned grayer and more flakes began to drift down.
“We stay here much longer, we’ll be a weird headline on the internet in the
spring,” Nick finally said.
Kelly’s hand found his, clumsy with his bulky glove. Nick’s left hand was
positively burning, it was so cold now, so he burrowed his fingers up under
Kelly’s sleeve, trying to find warmth.
“Thanks for playing with me, Nicko,” Kelly said, still grinning as he stared
at Nick, the fur around his hood shivering when he moved his head.
Nick gazed at him for a few seconds, his smile growing, and he finally
rolled on top of him to kiss him. “You look like a beached walrus right
now.”
“You say the sexiest things,” Kelly grunted. They both laughed, sharing
another kiss before they both started trying to get out of the snow pile.
“So, the snow sets, they good for the camp?” Nick asked as they trudged
toward the back deck.
Kelly nodded, his fuzzy hood wavering. “Staff approved.”
Nick slid an arm around him, grinning. “Maybe keep one here. For
research purposes.”
“Right, yeah. That sounds responsible. Totally. We make awesome
responsible adults.” Kelly had the nerve to keep a straight face and nod
again.
They struggled out of their wet outer shells and stepped inside the cabin,
where the warmth enveloped them and made everything start to burn like
fire against Nick’s skin.
“So, you have the night,” Kelly said with a defeated sigh. He stepped out
of his jeans and tossed his sweatshirt on the ground, struggling out of the
thinner layers of his clothes as Nick did the same, making a damp pile of
clothing at their feet. Kelly grinned once he stood in nothing but his
ridiculous holiday briefs that were covered in twigs and holly berries.
“What do you intend to do with your winnings, Staff Sergeant?”
Nick grabbed him and delved his frozen fingers under the band of Kelly’s
briefs, seeking warmth. Kelly gasped and shivered in his arms,
goosebumps instantly raising all over his body.
“I intend to keep warm,” Nick growled before stealing a sordid kiss.

Fourth & Long

Kelly watched over the frying bacon and eggs as he slid bread into the
toaster and hummed a Christmas song he couldn’t quite identify. He’d
decided it was a mash-up of Little Drummer Boy and We Three Kings but
he wasn’t sure where the hell either had come from. Probably Nick, since
the doofus loved Christmas and tended to whistle and hum when he got
distracted.
The hardwood floor was cold under Kelly’s bare feet. The whole cabin was
cold, in fact. Kelly liked to be cool, and so did Nick. They didn’t even
have the heat turned on. The fireplace and a few blankets had been doing
the trick so far this winter. Well … blankets, layers of clothing, and some
well-placed snuggling had been doing the trick so far. The worst was
getting all sweaty, throwing off the quilts as they fucked, writhing around
in the cold air because it felt amazing, but then realizing they couldn’t feel
their toes or fingers once it was all over.
Kelly cleared his throat, sticking a hand into the front pocket of his
sweatshirt to try to settle those familiar butterflies in his belly when he
thought about it. Breakfast was no time for a boner.
It wasn’t long before Nick came trudging down the steps from the loft,
rubbing his eyes and sniffing at the air as if he wasn’t quite sure what the
smell was. Kelly glanced up when he heard the bottom step squeak, and
Nick stood there looking at him blankly.
Slowly, his expression turned into a scowl. “What the hell, babe?”
Kelly smirked as he stirred the eggs. “Hungry?”
“Maybe,” Nick grumbled as he came closer. “Why are you up? That was
not the plan today.”
“There was a plan?”
“Yes, the plan was to sleep until the bed spit me out.”
“Mission accomplished then, ‘cause you definitely look like you got spit
out of something.”
“Bite me.”
“Suck my dick.”
“What, again?” Nick asked with a raised eyebrow. “Seriously, why are you

up?”
“I was hungry,” Kelly said with a shrug. Their plan had indeed been to
spend the day in bed, but Kelly had woken early and then bacon had called
his name.
He started pulling the bacon out of the frying pan and dropping it onto a
plate.
Nick grunted and headed for the refrigerator. He took out the carton of
orange juice that was about to go bad and carried it with him toward the
couch, not bothering with a glass.
“Didn’t mean to wake you,” Kelly offered as he watched Nick prowl away.
“That’s okay. Just in time for the pre-game,” Nick drawled. He threw
himself onto the couch and picked up the remote.
“Pre-game,” Kelly echoed as the bacon grease tried to splatter him. He
turned off the burner and rescued the rest of the bacon, muttering at it.
“Pre-game!” Nick shouted. He flipped through the channels. “What station
is Fox here?”
“What pre-game?” Kelly threw back as he scooped eggs onto two plates.
Nick took a sip from the orange juice carton, then turned and peered at
Kelly over the back of the couch. He had to swallow hard before he could
respond. “What do you mean what pre-game? Football! Week sixteen,
man!”
“Oh, shit. I forgot it’s Sunday.” Kelly grabbed the toast, dropped forks on
the plates, and walked over to the couch, a bottle of water under his arm.
He held out a plate for Nick, but Nick was staring at him with his mouth
hanging open. “What?”
“You … forgot?” he asked Kelly as he took the plate. “Funday Sunday,
Kels!”
Kelly smirked and sprawled on the couch next to him. “Sorry. I have
Christmas trees in my eyes, can’t see anything else.”
“It’s not Christmas yet, it’s football!”
Kelly glared at him. “I’m not getting anything for Christmas, am I?”
“It’s on backorder,” Nick muttered as he jabbed the remote at the TV.
“You looking for the Pats game?”
Nick held up the remote.

“It’ll either be nine or thirty-two,” Kelly told him around a mouthful of
bacon.
Nick settled in, grinning like a kid as he searched through the channels,
and Kelly gazed at him, his heart fluttering.
“You realize you’re not going to find the Patriots on TV, right?” Kelly
finally asked.
“What? No,” Nick said, sounding offended as he continued to search
through the pre-game shows on different channels.
Kelly teased him through a mouthful of bacon and eggs. “You’re not in the
center of the universe anymore, babe. No Boston anything.”
“Get off my couch,” Nick ordered with a point of his fork at Kelly.
“This is my couch,” Kelly shot back. He crunched down on his bacon. “Go
Broncos.”
Nick stared at him blankly for a long moment. “Broncos?” he finally
repeated carefully, as if saying the word might cut his tongue. He pointed
at the front door. “Get out of my house!”
Kelly chuckled and grinned. “This is my house!”
Nick stood up. “I need my Pats!”
“I’ll pat you, if you want.”
Nick stopped short, bypassing whatever tirade he’d been about to go on.
Kelly bit his lip. Nick’s mouth was still hanging open, and he shook his
head, unable to respond. He didn’t seem to be able to process the
conversation.
Kelly couldn’t stop a laugh. “Christ, Nick, you look like someone just ate
your dog.”
Nick turned away, grumbling about Colorado potheads. “I can’t believe I
fuck you regularly,” Kelly heard him say.
Kelly gasped and caught at his chest. “I’m so hurt. Nicko! Do you not love
me anymore?”
“I’m not talking to you,” Nick claimed without turning around as he
headed for the kitchen. There was a lot of slamming of cabinets and
thumping of dishes.
“Let’s go for a Christmas hike!” Kelly called as soon as he was sure he
wouldn’t laugh.

Nick held up his hand over his shoulder. “I’m watching football
today! There are four games on!”
“Relationships are about compromise!”
“What pre-game?” Nick mimicked in a high-pitched voice as he
rummaged for something else to eat.
Kelly allowed himself a small smile as he plucked up the remote and
shoved it between the couch cushions. Then he leaned back again,
munching on the last of his toast and returning his attention to the
television. Nick had actually found the Patriots game on cable. Kelly
shook his head, snorting. They called him Lucky for a reason.
Soon enough Nick came over with a bag of chips under one arm and a can
of beer in the other hand, the last of his bacon hanging out of his mouth.
He set his haul down on the coffee table and looked around the couch, then
glared at Kelly.
“Where’s the zapper?” he asked in irritation.
Kelly glanced up at him, his expression all innocence and light. “You had
it.”
Nick pointed a relatively threatening piece of bacon at him. “Don’t fuck
with me, Abbott.”
“I don’t know what you did with it, look around! You were probably sitting
on the damn thing.”
Nick kicked Kelly’s leg as he looked around the floor. “You don’t fuck
with football!” he shouted. He looked up at the television as the pre-game
show continued and he pointed at it. “They’re making predictions! It’s on
mute! Find the zapper!”
Kelly covered his mouth as he tried not to laugh outright. “They’re only
saying things you already know,” he pointed out. “What do you need the
remote for?”
“To flip! The Giants are playing on the other channel and I want to watch
them lose,” Nick told him as he began to go into a panic. He even looked
inside the chip bag, then headed back into the kitchen, checking the
counters and cabinets for the remote as if he might have carried it in there
with him.
Barely restraining his laughter, Kelly watched Nick and wondered how
likely it was that he could work this into getting fucked. He took pity on

Nick, though, and nudged the remote from between the cushions so the top
stuck out. “Oh look, I found it.”
Nick turned back to him and narrowed his eyes as he came closer. He gave
Kelly a good smack on the side of the head before grabbing the remote and
flopping onto the couch. “Get off my couch,” he said again as he held the
remote to his chest.
“Aw, baby,” Kelly cooed.
“Don’t make me be mean,” Nick warned, resting back and slumping down
in the cushions. He continued to clutch the remote in both hands. “Just
watch the little robot dude dance, that’ll keep you entertained.”
“I love you so,” Kelly crooned as he plucked at Nick’s ear.
Nick shifted, turning his body so he could look at Kelly directly. “There is
pre-game on,” he said in a slow, deliberate voice as he pointed at the
television.
“You know how to shut me up,” Kelly offered as he trailed his fingers
down Nick’s arm toward his belly.
Nick inhaled deeply as if calming himself, and he looked back at the
television. His jaw was tense and so were his abdominal muscles as Kelly
ran a finger over them. Nick cleared his throat. “Do you ever look at me
and think, ‘gee, I wonder why he’s so stressed’?”
“Nope,” Kelly answered. He pulled the elastic of Nick’s flannel sleep
bottoms and let it snap.
Nick turned to narrow his eyes at Kelly. He gave him a good once over, the
attention making Kelly’s belly flutter again, then he grunted in frustration
and stood up. “You’re going to have to leave,” he declared, pointing at the
door again. “Go on a vision quest or something.”
“But this is my house!”
“Kelly!”
Kelly chuckled and held his hands out to ward off an attack. “Okay, okay.
Sit down. I’ll shut up, and you won’t even have to bribe me.”
“One more goddamned word and I’m tossing you into the woods,” Nick
promised.
Kelly mimicked locking his mouth with a key. Nick narrowed his eyes,
instantly suspicious of Kelly’s easy agreement. Behind him, Kelly could
see the teams lining up for the kickoff.

Kelly pointed at the TV.
“No!” Nick said with a jab of the remote at Kelly like he was trying to
mute him. Kelly pointed more emphatically.
“What?” Nick asked as he turned and looked at the screen.
The teams were lining up with Jacksonville on offense.
“I missed the kickoff!” Nick shouted. “Dammit, Doc! You have to go,” he
said again as he turned and grabbed Kelly’s arm. Nick dragged him to his
feet as Kelly laughed and shoved him away from the couch so he couldn’t
sit again, then he looked over his shoulder at the game.
Apparently there had been an interception or a fumble or something,
because Brady was on the field with the Patriots offensive line. Nick
shouted wordlessly and pointed at the television. He sat on the edge of the
couch and covered his mouth with both hands, green eyes wide and
anxious.
Kelly snickered as he climbed over the back of the couch and slid behind
Nick. He pulled Nick to rest between his spread legs, and Nick lounged
against him like he was an easy chair, resting his elbows on Kelly’s knees,
his back pressed to Kelly’s belly. After a second, Nick pulled up the
picture-in-picture feature, throwing the Broncos game onto the screen and
putting the Patriots in a little square in the corner. Then he laid his head on
Kelly’s chest and sighed in contentment.
Kelly ran a hand through Nick’s hair, smirking. “This is where I have
chosen to lay my affections.”
Nick tilted his head back to peer up at Kelly, and Kelly stole a rather
charming kiss from him.
“Christmas morning,” Nick said, a smile in his voice as he relaxed into
Kelly’s embrace and returned his attention to the TV. ”We’ll go on your
goddamned Christmas hike.”
Kelly grinned, resting his chin on Nick’s head so they could watch the
games together.

Comings & Goings

Nick stood in the galley of the Fiddler’s Green, his pocketknife still open
in one hand and a shipping manifest in the other. He sighed heavily and
shook his head, tossing the receipt back into the box he’d just opened.
The presents he’d ordered for Christmas had just come in, with very little
time to get them wrapped and ready. Everything seemed to be in order,
except for one thing. The most important thing. The present he’d gotten
Kelly was on backorder until fucking April. What the hell was he supposed
to do, wrap up a picture of the damn thing with an “I owe you” note?
Something thumped from outside and Nick closed his knife up and slid it
into his pocket, gathering the box of goodies up in his hands. A second
later, Kelly stepped into the salon, accompanied by a rush of cold air and a
swirl of snow before he could get the door closed again.
“Hey, babe,” he said with an attempt at a smile. He was apparently too
cold to manage it, though, and it presented as a more of a grimace. He
tugged at his scarf to get it off, but the wind had tangled it up, and when
Kelly pulled the end it merely tightened around his neck.
Nick chuckled at him, setting the box aside and prowling closer to his
boyfriend. “You’re a mess,” he murmured, taking Kelly’s pea coat by the
lapels and tugging at him.
“It’s so cold here,” Kelly said, teeth chattering. “I thought Colorado was
cold, you know? Mountains and snow and shit, but at least we’re
goddamned civilized enough to stay the fuck inside and the air is dry and
the fucking . . . fucking nor’easters, man, with the water and the ice and
the … this place is bullshit.”
Nick smiled, his eyes on the knot Kelly had created out of his scarf as he
worked it loose with care. He was appreciating the warmth of Kelly’s
breaths on his face, the scent of Kelly’s body after he’d been out in the
snow and the cold. There was a hint of sweat under the normal smells that
combined to create all Nick’s memories of Kelly, and something about it
instantly got Nick thinking about dragging him to the couch to maul him.
He licked his lips and glanced up to meet Kelly’s eyes as he looped the
scarf off his neck.
“You okay?” Kelly asked, his brow furrowing.

Nick stared into his eyes, forever amazed at the myriad of colors they
could assume. Right now they were a glassy blue, like the surface of a
freshly polished frozen lake.
“Your eyes look like ice today,” Nick blurted before he could stop himself.
“What?”
Nick brushed his knuckles down Kelly’s cold cheek, blushing a little.
“When you’ve thawed out, I need to go shopping.”
“What? I was just out there, why didn’t you fucking call me to get
whatever you need? I don’t want to go back out there, I still can’t feel my
ballsack, dude!”
Nick chuckled and raised both eyebrows, backing away as he shook his
head. “I think there’s still some areas of personal information that we
should keep private if we want to keep the mystery alive, babe.”
Kelly narrowed his eyes as he struggled out of his coat. “What’s wrong?”
Nick nudged the cardboard box as he walked by it. “The gift I ordered for
you isn’t going to get here in time for Christmas,” he admitted. “I need to
find something else.”
“Oh. What’d you get me?”
“I’m not telling, that’s the whole point.”
Kelly tossed his coat onto the couch and followed Nick through the galley.
“Well it’s okay, babe, you don’t have to get something else. I can wait.”
Nick turned and cocked his head, smirking. “I got you a heat wrap thing
that massages your neck and shoulders as it keeps you warm.”
Kelly cleared his throat, pursing his lips. “So, do they have those in the
store where we could go pick it up? Or …”
Nick laughed and then sighed heavily. Kelly had pretty much stayed cold
since he’d come to Boston this time. Nick had been really looking forward
to watching him open that thing and then geek out over it.
“I’m kidding,” Kelly muttered. He stepped closer and slid his arms around
Nick’s waist, resting his cheek against Nick’s chest and forcing Nick to
wrap him up in a hug.
Nick set his chin on top of Kelly’s head. “Whichever way you look at it, I
basically bought you a heating pad for our first Christmas together as a
couple,” he said wryly. He began to laugh. “Wow, I kind of suck.”

Kelly snorted. “I realized the other day that I kind of suck too. You want to
know what I got you?”
Nick clucked his tongue.
“A garden gnome set of zombies,” Kelly told him.
Nick barked a laugh.
“I got a dude who lives on a boat a bunch of garden gnomes.”
Nick took Kelly’s face between his hands, staring into his eyes adoringly
for so long that Kelly finally began to fidget.
He pulled away from Nick’s hands, taking hold of Nick’s elbows and
huffing at him. “What’s really wrong, babe? We both know I don’t care
about a present being on backorder, so that can’t be all it is.”
Nick lowered his head and chewed on the inside of his lip, wincing. “Let
me see if I can word this without pissing you off,” he muttered.
“End it with, ‘here’s some mistletoe for your dick’ and you’re fine.”
Nick just rolled his eyes and started unbuttoning Kelly’s flannel shirt with
a heavy sigh. “I got all these presents for my family, see? But I don’t want
to go over there Christmas Day. I don’t want to see half of them, and the
ones I do want to see I could see them any other day and I’d be fine with
it. I wouldn’t miss anything about the holiday this year.”
Kelly nodded, but he was frowning as he listened, obviously a little
confused. Nick got his shirt unbuttoned and gently pulled it off Kelly’s
shoulders. He hadn’t unbuttoned the cuffs, though, so when he bunched
the material at Kelly’s wrists, the shirt got stuck. He gave Kelly a kiss on
the corner of his mouth as he pulled the shirt behind Kelly and tangled the
material tighter around Kelly’s wrists.
“And there’s not a single Christmas tradition I have any kind of attachment
to. Even Midnight Mass, I’m just not feeling it this year,” Nick continued,
dropping his voice since he was speaking closer to Kelly’s ear now, his
fingers working at getting Kelly’s jeans unbuttoned and unzipped.
Kelly’s eyes were closed, his lips barely parted, and his breaths were short
and shallow. Nick kissed his neck and then shoved his jeans down to his
thighs.
“So,” Kelly said shakily. He forced his eyes open, blinking rapidly, and he
swallowed hard. “You don’t want to do Christmas this year?”
“No, I didn’t say that,” Nick murmured. He set his hands on Kelly’s waist,

his fingers tucking just under the band of Kelly’s boxers. Kelly tried to
return the embrace, but his hands were trapped behind him. As soon as he
realized what Nick had done to him, his eyes began to morph from the
tranquil surface of an ice blue pond to the roiling darkness of a storm-
tossed sea.
It caused Nick’s breath to catch in his throat. He rubbed his thumb across
Kelly’s lower lip, cupping his cheek. “You’re a fucking work of art, you
know that?” he mumbled.
Kelly’s eyes fluttered closed, and Nick bent to kiss him carefully.
“I know you like to be around a lot of people on holidays,” Nick said to
him, resting his nose against Kelly’s cheek. “And I feel like shit that I take
that for granted.”
“Don’t feel guilty,” Kelly said dazedly. “It’s not your job to appreciate
shitty family.”
Nick hummed, the sound turning into more of a growl as he moved his
nose along Kelly’s cheek and then put his lips to Kelly’s ear. “Maybe this
year we could start our own tradition,” he whispered. It was something
he’d only just realized he wanted, and speaking about it seemed to be
lifting something heavy off his chest that he hadn’t even known was there.
He tightened his fingers on Kelly’s hip, and dragged his nails lightly over
the side of Kelly’s neck as he cupped his face with the other hand. “I want
to go off somewhere for Christmas, just you and me. Just … just us, babe.”
Kelly inhaled deeply, his chest pressing against Nick’s. Nick cocked his
head and kissed him again, their lips barely brushing. Kelly’s breath
shivered against Nick’s chin.
Nick took it for indecision on Kelly’s part, and he nodded and kissed Kelly
again, a little more sordidly this time. “We don’t have to,” he whispered.
“It was just –”
“When do we leave?” Kelly asked breathlessly.
Nick raised both eyebrows and tilted his head.
“I’m serious, where are we going and when do we leave?” Kelly said, his
voice a little stronger.
“Really?” Nick asked, excitement fluttering in his chest.
Kelly nodded vigorously. “Even without the seduction, which … bravo, by
the way,” he grumbled. Then he looked into Nick’s eyes and smiled. “You

know the only thing I care about is being home for any of the holidays.
And you’re home, Nick. Even when we were in service and went off on a
different adventure every Christmas, it was … it was you, and it was me.
And I was always home on Christmas morning when you were there.”
Nick couldn’t find the words to respond. He shook his head in amazement,
reaching for Kelly again. But Kelly rolled his shoulders instead of letting
Nick touch him, struggling against the shirt that restrained him. “We’ll
plan it out after you fuck me,” he grunted. “Because I know you didn’t do
this and get me all fucking worked up for shits and giggles.”He turned
away from Nick, presenting his tied hands, and he took one struggling step
toward the banquette table and bent himself over the edge, flattening his
chest and belly to the tabletop.
Nick ran his thumb across his lower lip, cocking his head in a distinctly
predatory manner as he used his other hand to pop the button on his
trousers. “Son of a bitch, Kels,” he growled.
“One condition,” Kelly said as he tried to look over his shoulder. “Go put
on that Santa hat I bought you the other day and hum Here Comes Santa
Claus for me.”
Nick burst out laughing as Kelly grinned back at him.
“That’s too kinky for me,” Nick claimed.
“Do it or I’ll make you work for this,” Kelly warned as he spread his feet
wider.
“There are so many reasons that’s not going to happen,” Nick promised,
but he stepped up behind Kelly and rubbed against his ass with a groan,
pressing his hand into the center of Kelly’s spine to keep him down. “We
both know I don’t mind working for this.”