REYNOLDS

and Print Edition

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DEDICATION

Selma and Sejla this is for you

ROLOGUE

_______________

UBREY

Age 17

I PEEK THROUGH MY LASHES to look across
the table. My stomach dips and my heart beats
funny, like it always does when a pair of golden
hazel eyes meet mine. Since I can remember,
Denver Clayton has had the same effect on me. He
makes me nervous, so nervous it feels like I might
come out of my skin when I’m around him. And
I’m around him a lot, because his family and mine
are close and we go to school together.

“You don’t have to sit here with us, honey,”

Shelby says, and I look across the table to her. “If
you’re done, you can go hang with the boys.”
Shelby is my dad’s wife, my stepmom, who’s
actually more of a mom to me than my mom has
ever been. I love her; we’re close—really close.

“I…” I start. I don’t really want to go hang with

my brothers, meaning my twin brother Steven and
my stepbrother Hunter. Don’t get me wrong, I like
them most of the time, but they are still annoying.

“We can go hang outside,” Denver says, and my

hands start to become damp as he pushes back
from the table and stands to wait for me.

Oh, God. What do I do? I look around at

everyone. My dad looks annoyed, Shelby and Joe
—Denver’s mom—are both smiling, and Paul—
Denver’s dad—is looking at the ceiling with his lips
twitching like he finds something funny.

“Uh… okay.” I slide out of my seat then look at

Joe. “Thank you for dinner.”

“You’re welcome, sweetheart.” She winks.
I bite my lip, nod once, and then tuck my hands

into the front pocket of my overlarge hoodie. I keep
my head ducked and follow Denver outside, and he
leads us across the lawn to an old tire swing. I take
a seat on the rubber tire, watching him lean back
against the tree and cross his arms over his chest. I
push off the ground with the tips of my toes and
study his handsome face, remembering what Shelby
said a year ago when he turned seventeen. “Aubrey,
that boy seems to only get better looking with
age.”

She was right. When I was thirteen and Denver

fourteen, he was a cute boy. But Denver at eighteen
is handsome. His jaw no longer has a softness to it.
It’s now strong with sharp angles that give a

glimpse of what he might look like in a few years
when he fully settles into adulthood. His eyes
haven’t changed, though the hazel color still
reminds me of the aurora borealis you can
sometimes catch a glimpse of on a clear night in
Alaska where we live. The greens and yellows mix
together perfectly and stand out spectacularly
against his dark hair and lashes.

My eyes land on his full lips, I quickly look away

when I feel my cheeks warm. I think I’ve imagined
kissing him a million times, what his lips would feel
like against mine, how he’d taste, how it would
feel. A part of me knows that one touch would send
me floating away. One kiss would change
everything, my whole world.

“So what’s going on with you and Gabe?” he

asks suddenly, and my head flies up meeting his
intense gaze.

“Gabe?” I touch my toes to the ground to stop

swinging.

“Yeah, you two are together all the time. Is he

your boyfriend?”

My cheeks heat further and I drop my eyes to

the ground. “He’s my friend,” I reply quietly. Gabe
moved to town a few years ago, and since then
we’ve become good friends. He’s sweet. I like
being around him, because he makes it easy. I don’t
feel any pressure to talk or fit in, and being around
him, I can just be me.

“Just friends?” he questions, and I focus on him

once more, wondering why he’s asking.

“Yeah, we’re just friends.” I push off and start

swinging once more.

“Bre, we’re heading home,” Dad calls, and I turn

to find him and Shel saying goodbye to Paul and
Joe on the front porch.

“Coming!” I yell back, and then I look toward

Denver’s shoulder, mumbling, “See you at school
Monday.”

I don’t see him take a step toward me, but I feel

his fingers wrap around mine to stop me before I
can walk away. My breath catches as I look up into
his eyes—way up, because he’s already at least a
foot taller than me.

“Are you going to the party tonight?”
“What?” I ask in a daze, my focus on the feel of

his warm, slightly rough fingers wrapped around
mine.

“Party… at Lincoln’s house tonight. Are you

going?”

Lincoln is Denver’s best friend; they’ve been

best friends forever. I know Lincoln’s parents are
cool with him throwing parties at their house, since
everyone talks about it—including my dad, who’s
the sheriff. Lincoln’s parents say they’d rather have
their son under their roof drunk than wasted
somewhere unknown. I can understand their logic,
since a bunch of teenagers hanging out drunk out

on the road where kids like to party or in the woods
could end up in disaster. Has ended up in disaster in
the past.

“Are you coming?” he repeats, giving my fingers

he’s still holding a gentle squeeze.

“I… I don’t know.” Parties aren’t really my

thing. Even growing up with the kids I go to school
with, I still feel out of place whenever I’m around
them.

“You should come,” he says, and my stomach

fills with butterflies and dances with excitement,
because he sounds like he really wants me to go.

“I’ll ask my dad,” I finally get out, and his lips

tip up into a small smile.

“If he says yes, let me know if you need a ride.”
A ride. Holy cow, my knees shake at the idea of

riding in his truck with him.

“Sure.” I grin, trying to keep myself from

jumping up and down like a total loon and making a
fool out of myself.

“Hopefully you’ll come.” His hold on me

tightens ever so slightly before he lets me go.

I don’t say anything else, because I’m not sure I

can talk. Instead, I turn and rush to say goodbye to
his parents before getting in my dad’s truck, where
Shel and I spend the drive home convincing my dad
to let me go to the party.

_______________

Looking around the crowded living room, I wonder
why I came and why I can’t seem to be like the rest
of the people here. My classmates all seem relaxed,
and judging by the laughing and joking, they’re
having a good time. Then there’s me, hanging in the
darkest corner of the room in an attempt to be
invisible. I lean back against the wall behind me
and hold the beer I was given when I made it here
closer to my stomach. It’s still full. I tried to drink it
when it was handed to me, but the second the taste
hit my tongue, I wanted to spit it out on the floor. I
never had a drink until tonight, not even a sip of my
dad’s beer or Shelby’s wine. I now know that beer
is gross—actually, really gross. Maybe if it wasn’t
warm it wouldn’t be so bad, but that’s doubtful.

“Are you okay?” Gabe, who I asked to come

with me, questions, coming up to my side.

I turn my head and look at him. “Yeah.”
“Liar.” He knocks his shoulder into mine and I

press my lips together to keep from smiling. I roll
my eyes at him when he grins. Gabe is taller than
me, but not by much, and lean from swimming
everyday at the local indoor swimming pool. He’s
cute with blond hair that has a hint of red in it, and
blue eyes that are always smiling. Unlike me, Gabe
doesn’t have an issue with talking to people and
making friends. Still, he never pressures me to hang
out with anyone else, because he knows it makes
me feel awkward. When he leans back against the

wall next to me, I scan the room, wondering if I
should just call Shelby to come pick me up, since I
haven’t seen Denver since I got here.

I turn to tell Gabe that I’m going to leave, but

stop when my stomach starts to dance. I turn my
head in the opposite direction, and when I do, my
heart starts to speed up. “Hey,” Denver greets me
with a small smile.

“Hi.” I smile back, and his eyes soften, making

the butterflies in my stomach dance and flip.

He looks over at Gabe and lifts his chin in that

cool way guys do before his eyes come back to me.
“I’m glad you came.”

I swear I feel his fingers brush mine against my

stomach and my heart thumps even harder.

“Denver, get your ass over here!” someone

shouts, and he looks in the direction of the kitchen,
his jaw going hard.

“Christ, they’re already wasted.” He looks back

at me and shakes his head, seeming annoyed. “Will
you be here for a while?” he asks as the group of
people in the kitchen start chanting for him to join
them.

“Probably.” I shift from foot to foot. I really

don’t know how much longer I’ll be able to stick
around, not with how out of place I feel.

“Don’t leave before we can talk.”
“I—”
“Please,” he adds, and hearing the softness in his

tone, I nod. “Good.”

This time I know I feel his fingers skim gently

across mine before he gives Gabe another chin lift
and turns to walk across the room toward the
kitchen. My stomach feels funny as I watch his
friends greet him with hoots and body jolting
pounds on the back. Unlike me, he fits in; he
always has.

Why am I here? Why did he want me to come,

and what does he want to talk to me about?

“Do you want to go hang outside?” Gabe asks,

and I pull my eyes from Denver to look at him.

“Yeah.”
“Come on.” He takes my hand in his and leads

me through the crowded house to the back door.
“Better?” he questions once we’re standing outside
on the back wooden deck under the star-filled
night.

“I wish I wasn’t so awkward,” I admit, setting

my beer on the railing so I can tuck my hands into
the front pocket of my hoodie.

“It’s cute,” he smiles, tugging the end of my hair.
Giggling, I shake my head. “It’s not.” I turn

away from him and my eyes catch on the window
that looks into the kitchen—a window I can see
Denver kissing Pamela through. I pull my eyes off
them, feeling my heart in my stomach.

Pamela’s a senior who’s so pretty she’s actually

had modeling jobs for a couple of well-known

designers. I’ve overheard her say that after
graduation she’s moving to New York to work full
time as a model. I have no doubt she’ll do well if
she does go. Then again, maybe she won’t go;
maybe she’ll stick around for Denver, or maybe
he’ll go with her.

“I wanted to talk to you about something,” Gabe

says, and I try to focus on him and not the way my
heart feels like it’s being crushed inside my chest
and my stomach is turning with nausea.

“Hmm?” I look over at him, noticing he looks

tense. Actually studying him he looks nervous.

“I was wondering if you’d want to…” He pulls

my hand out of my sweatshirt, grounding me with
his touch. “I was wondering if you’d want to be my
girlfriend.”

“Girlfriend,” I repeat on a quiet breath, dropping

my eyes to his hand wrapped around mine.

“I know we’re friends, but I like you. I’ve

always liked you.”

I stare into his eyes and my heart lodges itself in

my throat as I think about my answer. With Gabe,
things have always been easy. He doesn’t make me
nervous or anxious. With one smile or touch, he
doesn’t make me feel like I’m out at sea searching
for an anchor to keep me tethered so I don’t float
away. He makes me feel like I’m safe. I need safe.

“Yes,” I whisper, lifting my eyes to his, and he

smiles. I want to smile back, but I don’t, because in

my heart I know I don’t actually want safe.

_______________

ENVER

Age 21

I lift the bottle in my hand and drink deep, closing
my eyes as alcohol burns down my throat and
warms my stomach. I’ve been drinking for a month
straight, since the day I came back into town. Since
the day I found out Aubrey and Gabe are getting
married. No one told me about the impending
wedding. Even my parents kept the news from me.

“Drinking isn’t going to stop tomorrow from

happening,” Lincoln says from my side, and I turn
to glare at him. “Fuck, man.” He jerks his fingers
through his dark hair. “I know—”

“You don’t know shit,” I growl, standing and

taking the bottle with me as I walk across the room.

“Dude, this shit is fucking jacked.” He’s right; it

is jacked. Being in love with a woman who is
marrying someone else is completely fucking
jacked. “I understand why you’re—”

“Don’t. Do not fucking go there.” I point at him

with one finger, and he shakes his head. I lift the
bottle and take another pull, willing myself to

fucking black out already.

“You need to stop.” He gets in my face, pressing

his chest against mine.

“Back the fuck up.” My hand balls into a fist and

adrenalin rushes through me. I’m ready for a fight,
been ready for a fight for days, months—no
fucking years.

“If you want to stop the wedding, I’ll be there

with you, cheering you the fuck on. But I won’t
watch you slowly kill yourself using a bottle to do
it.”

I close my eyes, my chest aching with every

breath I take. “She was supposed to be mine,” I grit
out through clenched teeth. “She was supposed to
be mine!” I roar, letting the bottle fly and watching
it shatter against the wall on impact, the gold liquid
exploding everywhere.

“I know.” He grabs the back of my neck, pulling

my forehead to his. “I know.”

“She was supposed to be mine,” I repeat once

more, my voice hoarse.

_______________

ENVER

Six years later

Feeling my cell vibrate in my back pocket, I drop
the rope in my hand to the wood deck of my boat
and wipe the sweat from my face with the
underside of my tee. I have three hours before I
need to leave port and it’s already dark, making it
hard to get shit done—meaning I shouldn’t be
taking a call right now. I should be getting my ass in
gear. Pulling out my cell, I don’t look at the screen
before putting it to my ear.

“Yeah,” I answer, walking to the edge of the

deck near the dock, untying the rope there, tossing
it behind me, and hearing it land with a loud thud.

“Denver, it’s Gabe.”
“Gabe?” My brows draw together tightly. I only

know one Gabe, and I have no idea why he’d call
me. We’re not friends; have never been friends.
The only thing he and I have in common is Aubrey.

“Yeah.” He clears his throat.
“Is everything all right?” I ask as worry fills the

pit of my stomach.

“Yeah... no.”
I listen to him take a deep breath, and my body

coils tight like the universe is telling me that
whatever he’s about to say is going to turn my
world upside down.

“Is Bre okay?” I question when he doesn’t say

more.

“I’m dying, man.” As his words register, my

breath leaves on a silent whoosh and my stomach

turns. “I’ve got a couple months at best. The
doctors don’t have an exact time period, obviously,
but it’s inevitable.”

“Jesus, I’m so fucking sorry,” I whisper, looking

into the dark water at the edge of my boat.

“Yeah,” he murmurs back, and I grab the back of

my neck, holding tight. “I need a favor.”

“Anything,” I reply, instantly squeezing my eyes

closed.

“When I’m gone, look after Aubrey for me.”
Fuck.
“She loves you, and I know you feel the same

about her.” His statement feels like a knife to the
chest.

Fuck.
“Gabe—”
“She and I have had a good run,” he says quietly,

and I squeeze my neck tighter, trying to cut off the
pain his words are causing, that knife in my chest
twisting deeper. “I’ve always known she was meant
to be yours.”

“Gabe,” I repeat, having not one goddamn clue

what to say to him.

“Just promise you’ll look after her.”
Hearing the defeat in his tone and feeling my

throat close up, it takes every ounce of willpower I
have to push out two words. “I will.” As soon as
my answer takes flight on the wind, the phone goes
dead in my hand.

“Fuck.” I lean my head back and look up at the

night sky just in time to catch a star shoot across
the dark. I don’t even think as I close my eyes and
make a wish.

I have no idea that hundreds of miles away,

someone else is making a wish on that same exact
star.

_______________

UBREY

One month later

I lean against my kitchen counter and watch my
dad tie up the garbage to take it out, trying to
remember when the last time was I took out the
trash myself. It’s been a long time, too long. I
probably should have taken it out every now and
then over the last few years. Then again, I probably
should have done a lot of stuff I didn’t do over the
last few years.

“Honey.” Shelby’s hand on my arm brings me

out of my head and I focus on her worried face. “I
was thinking I’d stay with you tonight. We can
watch a movie or jus—”

“Maybe tomorrow,” I cut her off, and her hand

on my arm spasms. “Sorry.” I blow out a long
breath. “I’m just tired. All I want to do is take a
shower and go to sleep.” Sleep forever, sleep until I
wake up and don’t hurt anymore.

“I don’t think you should be alone, not after

today.” She doesn’t say why. She doesn’t have to.
Today, I spread my husband’s ashes out at sea,
something his family asked me to do. Something I
really didn’t want to do but did anyways, because
they wanted me to.

“I need to be alone, since...” I swallow over

what feels like shards of glass in my throat and
push through the pain of the words I don’t want to
say. “Since Gabe… since...” I try to say it, but I
can’t. “Since then, I haven’t been alone. I really
want some time alone. I really need some time
alone.” I feel like I’m suffocating, there have been
so many people in and out of my house the last few
days, everyone constantly hovering over me, asking
what I need, if I’m okay. I know everyone means
well, but it’s too much.

“Okay, gorgeous,” she whispers, sliding my hair

over my shoulder.

“Thank you.” I roll my lips together. “Thank you

f-for—” Tears spring to my eyes and I try—I try
with everything in me to fight them back, but it
doesn’t work. “Just… thanks.”

“Shhh.” Her arms wrap around me and I tuck my

face into the crook of her neck. I don’t want to cry
anymore. I don’t think I should be able to cry
anymore. I have no idea how my body is still
capable of producing tears after the buckets I’ve
cried. “It will be okay. I promise it will get easier.”
She rubs my back.

“Get rid of everyone, baby. I’ve got her,” Dad

says as I’m transferred into his arms, and his
familiar scent comforts me.

“Sure,” Shelby whispers.
“Thanks, baby,” Dad replies. I rest the side of

my face against his chest and hold on to his waist,
squeezing my eyes closed. “If I could take this pain
from you, gorgeous, I would.”

“I’ll be okay,” I try to reassure him, because I

know he’s worried about me. I know he thinks I’m
going to break at any moment. His hand cups the
back of my head, and his lips touch the top of my
hair and stay there while I listen to Shelby in the
living room tell everyone it’s time to go. “I should
probably tell everyone thank you for coming over.”
I try to pull away.

“Don’t worry about that,” Dad mutters, holding

me tighter.

“Everyone’s gone,” Shelby says a minute—or

what could be an hour—later, and I open my eyes
and watch her walk toward my dad and me. “Your
sister and brothers said they’d be over in the
morning.”

I nod, not surprised they’re only giving me till

morning. The three of them have stuck close to me
the last few days. Every time I turn around, one or
all of them are right there.

“You sure you want to be alone tonight?” Dad

questions.

I tip my head back and my eyes meet his. I hate

how stressed he is because of me. “Yes.” I squeeze
his waist. “If I need you guys, you’re just next
door,” I remind him.

“Right.” He cups my cheek, looking torn, and

then his eyes go over the top of my head and he
communicates something with Shelby before he
looks at me once more. “We love you.”

“I know. I love you guys too.” I swallow down a

fresh wave of tears and he drops his forehead to
mine, resting it there for a moment before letting
me go.

“Don’t hesitate to call me if you need me,”

Shelby says, giving me another hug.

When she releases me, I watch Dad take her

hand and lead her away. I wait until I hear the front
door open and close before I leave the kitchen. I
don’t check to make sure the front door is locked,
because I know my dad and know he locked it on
his way out. I do turn off all the light as I head
through the house, because Gabe would lose his
mind if I didn’t. He was always going on about the
cost of electricity, probably because it was

something his mom and dad had drilled into his
head from birth. I used to hate coming home to a
dark house, but whenever I complained about it to
Gabe, he would say something to make me laugh
and I’d forget all about hating it. At least until the
next time I came home and the house was dark.

As I make it to the hall just outside the master

bedroom, I stop and stare into the dark room. I
close my eyes and will my feet to move forward,
but they refuse. Giving up, I turn and head upstairs
to the top floor. I grew up in this house with my dad
and brother. When my dad and Shelby got together,
we all moved into her house right next door, and
they kept this house for the extra income they
earned from renting it out. Then when Gabe and I
married, they sold it to us.

When I get upstairs, I go to the bathroom, strip

out of my clothes, and climb into the shower, letting
the hot water run over me until it starts to become
cold. Stepping out, I wrap up in a towel then go to
my old room, where I grab a pair of sweats I
haven’t worn in years along with an old sweatshirt
and a pair of thick socks. I settle into bed and lie
there forever wide-awake while staring out the
window before giving up on sleep.

Needing some air, I go back downstairs, grabbing

a blanket off the back of the couch on the way to
the front door. As soon as I step outside, I move to
sit in one of the chairs on the porch, put my feet up

on the rail, and then toss the blanket over my lap.
The night is clear, the stars so bright you can see
every constellation without the help of a telescope.
I know for certain the view I have right now isn’t
something many people will ever experience. I lean
my head back and close my eyes, breathing deep
and letting the cool night air help fight back the
pain that seems to engulf my chest every time I
take a breath.

“Bre.”
My body jolts upward, my eyes spring open, and

my hand covers my pounding heart as I stare at
Denver’s shadowy figure at the bottom of the
stairs. “You scared the crap out of me,” I breathe,
taking in his dark hair and the beard covering the
lower half of his face. Except for the last three
days, I have rarely seen him since the night Gabe
asked me to be his girlfriend, and when I did see
him, he kept his distance. I kept mine too, but every
now and then, I’d ask Joe about him. She never
tells me much, just that he’s doing well. Still, I’m
always happy to hear about him.

“Sorry. I saw you out here and decided to come

over and check on you.” He takes the steps up onto
the porch and sits down in the chair next to mine.
“I would ask how you’re doing, but I don’t think I
need to.”

“You’re probably right,” I mutter, putting my

feet back up on the railing. “I… I saw you

yesterday at the wake and earlier tonight. Thanks
for coming. I… I probably should have… I just—”

“Stop.” He rests his hand over mine, and I jerk it

away when his touch seems to burn me.

“Sorry.” I shake my head, feeling like an idiot for

reacting to his touch like that.

“Don’t apologize.” He leans back in the chair

and places his booted feet up on the rail next to
mine. “Why are you out here?”

“I couldn’t sleep.” I rest my head against the

back of the chair. “Why are you out so late?”

“It’s only ten. I was over at your parents’ with

Mom and Dad. I came out to have a smoke and saw
you out here. Wanted to check on you.”

“Oh, I thought it was later than that.” I look over

at him. “You smoke?”

“On occasion.” He shrugs.
“You should quit,” I inform him, wanting to add

that smoking kills, but I don’t, because nowadays it
seems like everything has the potential to kill you.
Pollution in the air, exposure to the sun, chemicals
in the food you eat and in the water you drink, or
an unexpected brain tumor could end your life
suddenly. Really, it’s a miracle people are living
past the age of twenty.

“I should.”
“Pardon?” I ask, confused by his statement.
“I should quit smoking.”
“Right, sorry.” I shake my head, looking at the

night sky and the dark clouds rolling in.

“When was the last time you slept?” he asks

gently, and I focus on him once more.

“Last night.”
“Okay, let me rephrase that. When was the last

time you had a good night’s sleep?”

“A month ago.” My throat starts to get tight and

I close my eyes. One month is all I had. Gabe had
always had migraines, but recently they became so
bad he’d get sick and be unable to get out of bed. It
took me forever to convince him to go to the doctor
for help, but I finally did. The doctor in town didn’t
like the symptoms Gabe described and decided to
send him to Anchorage to run some test. That’s
when we found out he had a tumor. Not just a
tumor, one that was already at a Stage Four. The
doctors and specialists in Anchorage wanted to do
chemo and radiation and Gabe agreed, but he
didn’t even make it to his first treatment; he had an
aneurism and died suddenly while at his parents’
house.

“I thought we had more time,” I whisper as wet

tears trek down my cheeks.

“I’m sorry, Bre. So fucking sorry.” He wraps his

hand around mine.

“Me too.” I don’t pull away. I flip my hand over

and lace my fingers with his, allowing his warmth
and strength to comfort me.

“He called me.”

“What?” I open my eyes and meet his gaze.
“He called me.” He looks away, and my heart

starts to beat funny inside my chest.

“What did he say?”
“He said he was dying.” I try to pull my hand

free, but he doesn’t let go. “He asked me to be here
for you.” He pauses. “I would have done that
anyways.”

“Why would he ask you to do that?” I whisper

my question, not expecting him to answer.

“He knew I cared about you.”
My head jerks to the side. “We haven’t even

spoken in years.” I finally tug free from his grasp,
his words rolling though my head, my mind trying
to figure out why Gabe would ask Denver of all
people to look after me.

“You’re right; we haven’t, but I had my reasons.

I think you get that.”

“Do I?” I ask sarcastically, trying to cover the

new pain I’m feeling.

“Yeah, you do,” he growls, holding my gaze.
“You’re wrong. I don’t get it.”
“You know, Bre. You fucking know why I had to

cut you out of my life.” His words are harsh and
filled with pain.

“I don’t,” I deny softly, even though part of me

does know why he stopped talking to me after
Gabe and I got together. The same reason I started
to avoid him.

His eyes close slowly and he shakes his head.

“This isn’t the time for this,” he says gently,
keeping his eyes off me. “I shouldn’t have brought
it up.” He rips an agitated hand through his hair.
“Fuck. You don’t need this bullshit right now.”

I want to tell him it’s okay, but he’s right. I don’t

need this right now. I don’t need a painful walk
down memory lane to top off the misery I’m
already feeling. I don’t know why Gabe called him,
but I’m also not surprised. That was Gabe. He was
always trying to take care of me. Always.

I lean my head back and close my eyes. I must

fall asleep, because when I wake up, I’m in my bed
with blankets tucked around me. Morning light is
filtering through the blinds, and my conversation
with Denver feels like a dream.

_______________

UBREY

Five weeks later

“The tests you took aren’t wrong. You’re pregnant.
And from the information you gave us about your
last menstrual cycle, I’d say you’re just about
twelve weeks along,” Dr. Haze says, studying me
closely with a concerned look in his bright blue

eyes.

I really didn’t think that five tests could be

wrong, but I honestly didn’t think they could be
right either. Gabe and I had tried unsuccessfully for
three years to get pregnant while he was alive.
Each month when I had my period on time, we
were both devastated. We talked about seeing a
specialist but knew we would have to save in order
to do that, since the only specialist in Alaska is in
Anchorage and we would have to fly out for any
appointments. We were saving, but it was going to
be another year or two before we were able to start
treatments.

“Aubrey.” His hand wraps around my knee,

bringing me out of my thoughts.

“Sorry.” I blink to clear his blurry image. “This

is….”

“A shock, I’m sure,” he says gently.
I nod, thinking, That’s an understatement. Then I

look down and rest my hand over my stomach.
Gabe left me with a piece of him. “I’m going to
cry,” I whisper.

“That’s understandable.” He hands me some

tissue, and I press it to my eyes and cover my face.

I don’t know how long I sit there and cry, but it’s

a while before I’m able to regain control of my
emotions enough to leave the office. When I arrive
home, I tell my family the news. And for the first
time in months, I have something to look forward

to.

HAPTER

_______________

UBREY

CURLED UP ON THE COUCH in the living room
with a cup of coffee in my hands and a fire burning
in the fireplace, I stare at the dying flames as they
flicker and dance, then smile when I hear the sound
of tiny feet coming my way. When I see my Lyra
come around the corner, rubbing her eyes, my heart
melts. My girl looks just like me, from her blonde
hair to her blue-green eyes.

“Hey, baby.” I set down my coffee cup and hold

out my arms to her. She climbs up onto the couch
and settles against me, closing her eyes and resting
her head on my chest. I run my fingers through her
soft hair, studying the side of her face. The last four
years have flown by in a flash. One minute, I was
pregnant, and the next, my girl was turning three,
and tomorrow, four. I don’t think you realize how
quickly time flies until you become a parent and
watch your child grow up before your eyes.

“Can I have pancakes for breakfast?” she asks.
“Sorry, baby, no pancakes today. I already made

you oatmeal.” I run my fingers down the side of her
face then grin when her bottom lip pops out.

“Can I have pancakes tomorrow?”
“Tomorrow, you can have anything you want for

breakfast, since it’s your birthday,” I say, and she
pulls back to look at me.

“I can have cake for breakfast tomorrow?” she

tests me hopefully.

I smile. “Let me rephrase that. Tomorrow, you

can have any breakfast food you want in the
morning.”

“Can I have Denver’s scrambled eggs and your

pancakes?”

At her question, my chest feels funny. Denver

has been a steady fixture in Lyra life since the day
she was born. I really didn’t expect to see him
much after Gabe’s death, but he moved back to
town not long after I found out I was pregnant, and
since then, he’s made it a point to be part of Lyra’s
life. And mine—well, as much as I let him.

I wish I could say things between us aren’t

awkward, but they are, and over the last four years,
that awkwardness has only become worse. At first,
things were strained because of our history and
Gabe’s passing. Now, things are awkward, because
I find Denver seriously attractive but know that
there is no future for us.

“Can I?” Lyra’s softly spoken question brings me

out of my head and I focus my attention on her.

“Sorry, baby. What was your question?”
“Can I have Denver’s scrambled eggs and your

pancakes tomorrow?”

“I don’t know what Denver’s plans are

tomorrow morning.”

“Will you ask him?”
“I’ll ask him,” I agree, knowing without question

he will agree, since he seems to live for giving Lyra
whatever her heart desires.

“Okay,” she grins happily before she rests the

side of her head against my chest once more.

I press my lips to the crown of her head and

breathe in her scent. I live for these moments—
times when she wants to cuddle, times that are just
ours. Nowadays, it seems like she’s always going a
million miles an hour, trying to suck in as much
knowledge as she can. I think she asks “Why?” and
“What is that?” a billion times a day.

“You need to eat, baby. I need to get you to

Grandma’s so I can get to work.” I stand with her,
then set her on her feet. I grab my cup of coffee
then follow her to the kitchen.

“I wish you didn’t have to work,” she says,

climbing up onto one of the barstools and resting
her bottom on her calves.

I smile. “I wish that too, but I’ll be off tomorrow

for your birthday, then off for the weekend.” I fill

her bowl with oatmeal and place it in front of her
along with a cup of orange juice.

“Can we go sledding?”
“Sure, if there is still snow on the hill and maybe

I’ll see if Grandma and Grandpa want to come
too.”

“Yippie!” She shoots up, tossing her arms in the

air and making me laugh.

I refill my mug of coffee and add a splash of

hazelnut creamer then lean against the counter,
watching my baby eat her oatmeal before hustling
her back upstairs to get dressed. Once we are both
ready, I take her over to Shelby, who’s watching her
today, and drop her off.

I make it to the office at twenty till ten, clocking

in before heading outside. I walk the five blocks to
the docks, where I work as a glorified gas station
attendant. I don’t personally fuel the boats that
come in to port, but I keep track of how much gas
each boat uses, log the information, and bill them at
the end of each month. My job is in no way
exciting, but I do get to make my own hours for the
most part, which is a win for me as a single mother.

When I almost make it to the little shed I work in

at the very end of the docks, I see Barry, an older
fishing captain, chatting with Lulu, Seaside
Petroleum owner’s wife. Lulu and her husband Ben
are two of the kindest people around, and you
would never know by meeting and chatting with

them that they have more money than they could
ever spend in a lifetime. Not only do they own
Seaside Petroleum, but they also own two of the
four hotels in town and a restaurant on Main. I’ve
known them both my whole life, which helped me
land a job working for them at seventeen, way
younger than any of their other employees.

Lulu’s face lights with an annoyed smile when

she sees me coming, and I can’t help but smile,
because I’m sure she’s annoyed with Barry. She’s
always irritated with Barry, because he’s always
bitching about his monthly bill. Lulu is only about
four feet tall and a hundred pounds, but she has
more sass in her pinky finger than anyone I’ve met
in my life. I think she’s sassy to make up for her
lack of height. Her husband is over six feet tall and
two hundred and twenty pounds, and the fishermen
she deals with on a daily basis are pretty much the
same. If she didn’t have the attitude she has, I’m
sure all the men in her life would walk all over her.

“Hey, Lu. Everything okay?” I ask once I join

their huddle.

“Everything’s good.”
I look at the captain. “How’s it going, Barry?”
“Same shit, different day,” he grumbles, and I

catch Lulu roll her eyes up to the heavens. “About
my invoice. Think there might be a mistake.”

“Barry, we go through this every month, and

every month, you pay what you owe for fuel. Do

we really need to do this song and dance today?”
Lulu rests her hands on her slim hips.

“I ain’t made of money, woman.” He huffs.
“Barry, you know I keep the records, and you

know I would never bill you for fuel you didn’t
use,” I remind him.

“Maybe you messed up this time?”
“I didn’t.”
“She didn’t,” Lulu states, losing patience. “I had

her take a photo every time you came in for fuel so
I’d have it as proof. Do you want me to show you
the pictures?” she questions, raising a brow at him.

He looks at me surprised, and I shrug. It was my

idea to take the pictures, because a few months
ago, he got away with not paying for over five
hundred dollars’ worth of fuel. “No.”

“Thank God. Now, can we end this meeting? I

got shit to do today, and that shit does not involve
me standing around here debating your bill with
you. A bill you’re going to pay one way or
another.”

See? Totally full of sass.
“Fine,” he mutters, looking from her to me, and

lifts his chin before taking off toward his boat.

“I swear, that guy is going to make me lose my

damn mind one day.” Lulu shakes her head,
watching him go, and then her eyes come to me and
soften.

“How excited is my girl about her birthday?”

“She asked if she could have cake for breakfast

tomorrow.” I smile when she laughs.

“Are you giving her cake for breakfast

tomorrow?”

“Um, no,” I deny with a shake of my head.
“What was her second choice?”
“My pancakes and Denver’s scrambled eggs. If

he can come over to make them for her.”

“I’m sure he will,” she says knowingly, and I

shrug. “When are you two going to—”

“Lu,” I cut her off with a quick shake my head.
“What? I see it. Everyone sees it.” She tosses out

her arms dramatically.

“You’re delusional.”
“No, you’re oblivious. That man is in love with

you.”

“Seriously, this again?” She’s been saying the

same thing for the last four years and tries to
convince me I’m blind to Denver’s feelings for me.
I’m not; I just know we are friends—kind of. He’s
not waiting around for me like some hero in a
romance novel. He’s dated a few different women
since he’s been in town, or at least that’s what I’ve
heard. I’ve never actually seen him with anyone.
Then again, I don’t get out much.

“Well, it’s true.”
“It’s not.”
“It is,” she continues to argue.
“I hate to burst your bubble, but he’s never been

anything more than friendly toward me, Lu.”

“That’s because you’ve never given him any

indication you’re ready to start dating again.”

Okay, so I don’t want to admit it, but maybe she

has a point. I haven’t given anyone a sign I’m ready
to start dating again. I don’t even know if I’m ready
now. Gabe was all I knew for years, and I loved
what we had. It was easy. Being with him was easy,
because he was my best friend. He knew me,
understood how awkward I was… or am. Dating
someone new would be like discovering a whole
new scary world. I wouldn’t even know where to
start. I should probably start though. I want to find
someone to spend time with. I miss all the things
that go along with having a significant other—the
cuddling, the talking, the sex. But I could live
without the sex, for the most part.

“Don’t you have stuff to do?” I ask when I feel

my cheeks become warm.

“Nope, I have the whole day off.”
“Liar, you never have a whole day off.”
“This is true.” She sighs. “I would have had the

day off, but Barry called in and wanted to see me
about his bill.”

“You could have let Ben handle it.”
“You know Ben. He’d lose his temper and I’d

end up at the sheriff’s station, talking to your dad.”

“True.” Ben is a big teddy bear most of the time,

but when he’s poked, he tends to fly off the handle

without much provocation. “You might not need to
work, but I do,” I say, figuring that will force her to
give up trying to convince me, even for a little
while.

“Fine, but one day you’re going to come to me

and tell me that you and Denver are together, and
when that day comes, I’m going to try not to say I
told you so.”

“Whatever.” I roll my eyes at her.
“What time is the party tomorrow?”
“Everyone’s coming over around five for pizza

and cake.”

“Do you want Ben and me to bring anything?”
“Just yourselves,” I say, then turn as a boat starts

to pull in. When I see the boat, my stomach dips
when it totally shouldn’t be dipping.

Denver’s boat is unmistakable. It’s white with a

thick lavender stripe around it. Lyra picked the
lavender color when Denver had it repainted a year
ago. I thought he was crazy when he asked her to
choose what color to paint it. I also thought for sure
that she was going to pick pink, but she didn’t; she
chose lavender. Not much better than pink, but he
didn’t back out when she told him what color. And
really, the boat looks kinda cool with the lavender
stripe and the black curly lettering of his ship’s
name, the Aurora.

“Look what the tide brought in,” Lu says,

grinning from ear to ear.

I fight another eye roll then go to the shed and

turn up the heat inside, since it’s close to freezing. I
drop my purse and grab my receipt book. When I
get to Denver’s boat, he’s standing at the edge
talking to Lu, but as soon as he sees me, his eyes
meet mine. “Hey.”

“Hey,” I repeat, as I tuck a piece of my blonde

hair behind my ear. “You need fuel?” At my stupid
question, he grins, making me feel like a total dork,
because there’s no other reason for him to come
here except to get fuel for his boat.

“Yeah.” He tucks his hands into the front

pockets of his jeans, a pair that is molded to his
thighs in all the right places. The dark thermal he
has on today is also snug, showing off his muscular
arms, the wide expanse of his chest, and the
tightness of his abs underneath. He’s beautiful in a
masculine way, with a strong, powerful jaw that is
never completely clean of scruff, dark, thick, wavy
hair, and goldish-green eyes that are surrounded by
lashes that make me jealous. Honestly, he looks like
he was sent down to earth from heaven for the sole
purpose of testing the women of earth’s willpower.
I’m sure we’re all failing miserably. “Is my girl with
your mom or mine today?” he asks, and my chest
feels warm. I love that he calls Lyra his girl.

“Mine today,” I reply, then add, “next week’s

your mom’s week.”

“Right.” He nods, probably knowing that every

other week our moms take turns watching Lyra
while I’m working. I used to have Gabe’s parents
helping out, but two years ago, I had to change that.

I might have loved Gabe, but the same couldn’t

be said for his family. His parents are both a little
odd, and not the fun kind. The kind of odd that you
have to be leery of. They live mostly off the land,
hate the government, really any kind of authority.
They don’t believe in education or modern
medicine. They tried numerous times to tell me,
even when I couldn’t, I should be breastfeeding
Lyra. When I didn’t agree, they bought another
woman’s breast milk without asking me first.
Needless to say, when I found that out, I lost my
mind. They were always trying to tell me how they
thought I should raise her. I put up with it, because
that’s what Gabe would have wanted me to do.

After the breast milk incident, I worried myself

sick that if something happened to my baby when I
wasn’t around that they wouldn’t take her to the
doctor, that they’d try to give her some kind of
natural remedy or something. Gabe had a big, ugly
scar on his leg to prove that his parents were crazy.
When he was seven, he sliced into himself with an
ax, and his parents didn’t take him to the hospital.
Instead, they cleaned and sewed him up at home.
He ended up with gangrene and could have lost his
leg. I did not want to go pick up my daughter one
day and find out that not only had she been left

alone with an ax, but that she had been hurt and
didn’t see a doctor.

“So, Denver, what are your plans tomorrow

morning?” Lu asks him, and he pulls his eyes off
me, both of our attention going to her.

“No plans tomorrow. What’s up?” he questions,

and I cut in before Lu can speak again. Lord only
knows what the hell she’ll make up in an attempt to
push us together.

“Ly was asking if she could have your eggs for

breakfast tomorrow for her birthday,” I explain, and
his face softens.

“I can do that.”
“Cool, she’ll be happy,” I say, and he lifts his

chin. “Let me just get you set up to fuel.” I look at
Lu. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“See you tomorrow,” I hear her agree as I turn to

get to work.

Sitting in the shed four hours later, wearing my

jacket, scarf, hat, and gloves, I look up from my
Kindle when someone taps on the glass window at
the side of the shed. When I see who it is, I smile
and push the window open to the side. “Hey,
Mike.”

Mike is not a local. He lives on one of the other

small islands in Alaska, but comes to town for
fishing at the start of every spring and doesn’t leave
until the end of summer. He’s cute-ish, not
handsome or really even good-looking, but he’s

always got a warm smile on his face.

“Hey, Aubrey.” He starts to smile then frowns.

“Why are you dressed like that?”

“Heater went out. It’s been acting wonky for

days, but today it bit the dust.”

“Want me to look at it?” he asks.
I shake my head. “Lu and Ben are getting a new

one today. They should be here with it soon.”

“Cool.” He leans forward, and even though I

can’t see his hands, judging by the way his
shoulders are hunched forward, I know he’s tucked
them into the front pockets of his jeans or into his
jacket. “Did you have a good winter?”

“It was winter.” I shrug. Winters in Alaska are

brutal. Not only is it mostly dark all the time, but
it’s also freezing, and more than occasionally, there
is so much snow it’s impossible to leave the house.
If my parents didn’t live right next door, I would
probably go stir-crazy. “How was your winter?”

“Spent it in Vegas where I have a place, so it was

good.”

“I bet.” I smile. “I’ve never been to Vegas, but I

want to go sometime.”

“You should come out to see me next winter. I

have a spare room; you and your daughter could
stay there.”

“Maybe,” I agree without thinking, and his eyes

light up. Crap, now what did I do? “Did you need
something?” His boat’s not docked, but that doesn’t

mean much.

“I… Well, I actually wanted to see if we could

get dinner. Maybe next Friday, before the opener?”

“Um…” Gah, didn’t I just tell myself I should try

dating again? Maybe Mike is the kind of guy I
should test out dating with. He always seems pretty
laid back, and he doesn’t make me nervous. Really,
he doesn’t make me anything. No butterflies, no
stomach dips. Nothing. “Sure, Friday works,” I
agree, figuring that, between Shelby and Joe, one of
them will be willing to watch Lyra for me for a
couple hours while I go out.

“Really?” His eyes widen, and I can’t help but to

giggle.

“Yeah.”
“All right, cool. Wanna give me your number?”
“Sure.” I shrug, and then I give him my number

and take his. We talk for a few minutes more before
he takes off.

Once he’s gone, guilt settles in the pit of my

stomach like sour milk, and I wonder if I’m
somehow betraying Gabe by going out with
someone else. I pull in a few deep breaths and
remind myself of Shelby’s words from a while
back. “Sweetheart, you’re still here, still living
and breathing. Gabe would want you to be happy.”

Though she wasn’t talking about me dating, she

was talking about me changing out Gabe’s and my
bedroom furniture for new stuff. Still, I think she

would tell me the same thing in this situation. And
Gabe would want me to be happy however that
happiness came along.

Wouldn’t he?

HAPTER

_______________

ENVER

“HEY,” AUBREY GREETS ME with a tired smile
as soon as she opens the front door. Her hair is a
rumpled mess—what it might look like after a hot
and heavy round of sex. Her eyes are still sleepy,
and her cheeks tinged pink. I run my eyes down her
body and fight back a groan when I see what she
has on. It’s not exactly sexy, but then again, she
doesn’t need to walk around in lingerie to attract
my attention. Short shorts that are black with white
piping around the edge, a white T-shirt that’s tight
and practically see-through, and socks, long ones
that go up over her knees, the kind basketball
players used to wear with the stripes around the
top.

“Lyra is still sleeping.” Her words drag me out of

my perusal, and I see she’s already moving away
from the door. “I was just getting ready to wake her
up,” she tells me, and my eyes drop so I can watch

as the bottom of her ass cheeks peek out with every
step she takes. She looks at me over her shoulder,
and I pull my eyes up before she can catch me
ogling her. “I just put coffee on, so help yourself.
I’ll be down in a few minutes.”

I watch her jog up the steps until she’s out of

sight then shake my head, reminding myself that I
need to be patient, that in the end, waiting will pay
off. I hope so anyway. I’ve been waiting for some
kind of sign from her that she’s open to the idea of
dating again. So far, I’ve been waiting in vain. She’s
cordial at best when we interact. If I didn’t see her
obvious attraction to me whenever we come face-
to-face, I would feel like an idiot for waiting this
long for her.

I carry the bag I brought with me into the kitchen

and unpack the contents onto the counter. I pull out
a pan and place it on the stovetop to warm up. I
add butter to the pan so it can melt then take out a
bowl for the eggs. I don’t start cracking them,
because that’s Lyra’s favorite part. Instead, I get to
work opening ten single slices of Kraft cheese then
cut up some honey-smoked ham and place it in a
bowl.

I hear both girls coming down the stairs then the

sound of tiny feet coming toward the kitchen. I
rinse my hands off and turn just in time to see
Lyra’s hair in a ponytail flying behind her as she
runs straight for me. I crouch down on my

haunches, and she plows into me, almost knocking
me on my ass.

“Hey, gorgeous. Happy birthday,” I whisper

against her ear, and her arms wrap tightly around
my neck as I lift her up off the ground.

“I missed you,” she tells me, tightening her hold,

and I smile before kissing the side of her head.

“I missed you too.” Even though it’s only been

two days since I’ve seen her I still miss her.

“I missed you more.” Lyra pulls back enough to

look at me and grins.

“Impossible.” I touch my lips to her forehead

then look at Aubrey. She’s standing in the doorway
to the kitchen with her arms crossed over her chest,
watching us with a soft look in her eyes. I love that
look. Really, I love everything about her. I look
down at Lyra, and ask, “Are you ready to help me
make scrambled eggs?”

“With extra cheese?”
“Is there any other way to make scrambled

eggs?”

“Nope.” She shakes her head, and I smile as I set

her on the counter then move the bowl and carton
of eggs closer to her.

When she was two, she wouldn’t eat much of

anything. Her doctor was concerned about her
weight and told Bre to put her on a supplement. Bre
tried, but Lyra hated it and refused to drink it. One
morning, I was over to take care of her and I made

myself some scrambled eggs. She ate them all off
my plate then asked for seconds. I came over for
two months every morning to make her breakfast,
and she gained the weight she needed and
eventually started adding more things to her diet. In
the end, her doctor was happy and Bre was
relieved. I was just glad I could help.

“Do you want a cup of coffee?” Bre asks.
I take my attention off Lyra, who’s started to

crack open eggs, to look at her. “Yeah, babe.” She
nods and pours me a cup then dispense one for
herself. Handing me mine, she takes a sip of hers
then moves around, gathering the things she needs
to make pancakes. Unlike me, who would make
them from the box, she always prepares them from
scratch. She could probably win an award for her
pancakes; they are that good—crisp around the
edges, soft and fluffy in the middle. Once Lyra has
the eggs cracked, I let her beat them then dump
them in the pan.

“So, birthday girl, what are you doing today?”
“Going with Mama to look for bears,” she tells

me, and I look at Bre and raise a brow.

“We’re going out the road. Dad said the salmon

are starting to head up the river and the bears are
out. Ly wanted to see if she could get some photos
with the camera my brother sent her for her
birthday,” she explains.

“No getting out of your Jeep, and if a bear gets

close, make sure you’re able to take off.”

She rolls her eyes. “I’m not crazy, Den,” she tells

me, spooning her pancake batter into a pan on the
stove.

“I know, but bears are unpredictable. Remember

what happened last year to those tourists?”

“I remember,” she says softly, shivering.
Last summer, a group of tourists went out toward

the glacier to watch the bears as they caught
salmon from the river. One of the bears was more
interested in them and destroyed their rental, trying
to get inside. No one was seriously hurt, but
someone could have been, and badly.

“Can you come with us?”
At Lyra’s question, I feel Bre tense ever so

slightly. Part of me wants to agree to go just to push
Bre, but I don’t.

“I have to work, but I’ll be here for your

birthday party tonight.”

“Oh, all right,” Lyra sighs, and I smile then kiss

her forehead. I add the ham to the eggs then wait
until they’re almost done before I add in the
cheese.

We eat breakfast in the kitchen, and then I leave

promising I’ll be back for cake and pizza. I head to
my boat and start getting things ready for next
week. I have the weekend off, but there is always
shit to do when you’re your own boss. Once I’m
done with work, I stop to pick up Lyra’s birthday

gift. One of the shops in town makes custom fleece
jackets and vest; you can choose your color and
add different ribbons. I bought Lyra a dark pink
fleece jacket and a matching vest, with white
ribbon that has small hearts on it and her name
embroidered on the chest. I know she’ll love it,
since she loved the one I got my mom at Christmas.
Once I pick it up, I head to my parents’ house to
kill some time before the party.

I park in the driveway next to my mom’s truck

and climb out. I head inside without knocking, and
pause when I hear my mom cry, “No!” in distress.
“No, please, tell me you’re lying.” I see her on the
phone in the kitchen and head that way, wondering
who she’s talking to and what’s going on. Her head
flies up and she swallows when her eyes meet mine.
“Shel, I gotta go.” Shel, as in Aubrey’s stepmom?
Worry starts niggling the back of my mind. “I know.
Sorry, but Denver just walked in.” She looks at the
floor. “Yeah, I know. I’ll call you back as soon as I
can. Yeah, later.” She hangs up.

“What’s going on? Are Bre and Lyra okay?”

Visions of them and a bear fill my mind and it takes
everything in me not to leave and head for my
truck. She doesn’t lift her head, and that worry gets
stronger. “Mom, what the fuck? Are Bre and Lyra
okay?”

“Their both fine. Um…” She looks at me then

looks away. “Aubrey asked Shel to watch Lyra next

Friday.”

“Okay?” I frown.
“She has a date.”
I know I must have heard her wrong. It sounded

like she just said Bre has a date next Friday.
“Pardon?”

“A date. Bre has a date next Friday,” she

repeats, turning toward the sink where she starts to
wash the dishes.

“You’re fucking with me.” My mom knows how

I feel about Bre, has known for years, actually
there is a good chance everyone knows.

“Language,” she snaps, looking at me over her

shoulder. “And no, I’m not.”

Fuck. She’s not lying. What the fuck? Bre has a

date… with who?

“With who?” I ask aloud.
“What?”
“Who does she have a date with?” I growl.
“Some guy named Mike. I guess he lives out of

town but fishes here during the season.” I wrack
my brain trying to figure out who Mike is then
frown. I know a few Mikes, but most of them are
married.

“Mike who?”
“I don’t know.” She shakes her head. “Does it

really matter, she has a date.”

I lean against the counter as my stomach turns. I

must not know Mike, because I’ve made it clear to

everyone that Bre is off limits anytime anyone even
mentions her name. She may not be mine, but she’s
still mine as far as I’m concerned. “Fuck.” I jerk
my fingers through my hair.

“Seriously, language.” Mom tosses a wash rag at

me, and I catch it against my chest. “What are you
going to do?”

“I’ll tell you what I’m not going to do. I’m not

going to wait around for her to be taken from me
again.” I watch her pull in a breath as relief fills her
eyes.

HAPTER

_______________

UBREY

YOU’D THINK A BIRTHDAY party for a four-
year-old would be an uncomplicated event.
Unfortunately, that is not the case. I should say
that’s not the case when you’re trying to set up for
a party while attempting to rein in said four-year-
old, who has eaten her weight in icing and is now
bouncing off the walls. I probably shouldn’t have
let her eat the icing from the container while we
were making her cake, but there was no way I
could say no to her.

“Ly, baby, please stop spinning before you make

yourself sick,” I say, watching her giggle as she
spins in circles, turning herself into a mummy with
the bright pink streamer tape she stole off the table
five minutes ago.

“Okay, Mommy.” She falls in a heap on the

ground, her arms and legs spreading out wide like a
starfish.

Laughing under my breath, I grab another

balloon and blow it up, looking toward the hall
when someone rings the bell. I glance at Ly, who’s
now making snow angels on the carpet, and smile
when she starts singing one of the songs from the
Disney movie Frozen. “Be right back,” I tell her,
heading for the door. When I open it, I’m surprised
to see Denver here so early, and even more
surprised by the pissed off look in his eyes. Denver
has always been even tempered, so if he’s pissed,
something big must have happened. “Is everything
okay?”

“You have a date?”
It takes a second for his question to register, and

when it does, my stomach drops. I asked Shel this
morning if she could watch Lyra next Friday; I
never even thought about her telling anyone else
about my plans. “I—”

Before I can get another word out, he’s in my

space. His hand is wrapped around the back of
neck, and his mouth is on mine. I’m so stunned by
his aggressive maneuver that I completely freeze
from head to toe.

“Kiss me,” he demands against my mouth while

looking into my eyes, and I lick my lips in
nervousness, which means I lick his. “Fuck.” His
mouth closes over mine, and I gasp when his teeth
nip my bottom lip hard enough to sting. “Open.”

I shake my head, move my hands to his chest,

and start to push him away. Instead, I end up
clinging to him, digging my fingers into his shirt
when his free hand curves around my ribcage, right
under my breast, and his thumb sweeps across my
nipple. Sensations I’ve never experienced before
wash through me, and an “Oh, God” leaves my
mouth on a whimper of need. His tongue sweeps
between my parted lips and my eyes slide closed.
He taste good, like the ocean and sunshine mixed
with mint and cherries.

I kiss him back, my tongue toying with his as my

fingers dig into the muscles of his chest, trying to
pull him as close as possible. I was right all those
years ago, when I thought one kiss from him would
change my world, because with his mouth and
hands on me, nothing outside of us and this moment
exists.

“Mommy.” Like a bucket of cold water dumped

over my head, Lyra’s distant voice pulls me back to
reality, and I drag my mouth from his and shove at
his chest to get away.

“Bre.” He reaches out for me when I finally get

free, and I stumble back, hitting the wall behind
me. I cover my mouth with my hand as I lift my
head, and when our gazes connect, I shake my head
and hold out my hand to ward him off. “Bre.” He
prowls toward me.

He stops suddenly, jerking his head to the left

when Ly excitedly shouts, “Denver!” My lungs

burn as he picks her up with ease and holds her
against his chest. His eyes bore into mine over her
shoulder and I look away, my heart beating like
crazy and my chest heaving as I try to pull oxygen
into my lungs. “Did you come to help us decorate?”
Ly questions with a happy smile as she holds on to
his face with both her hands so she’s sure to have
his full attention.

“Yeah, but I need to talk to your mom. Can you

give us a second and wait for us in the kitchen?”

Panic fills me when she nods and he kisses her

forehead then puts her down. I want to go with her
when she runs off, but I can’t. I need to be an adult
and deal with this head-on. I don’t know why he
kissed me or what the hell came over me that made
me kiss him back, but this can’t happen. My eyes
slide closed while my throat tightens with tears, but
then spring back open when I feel his fingers wrap
around my lower jaw.

“Please step back,” I beg, looking into his

beautiful eyes up close. How am I going to deal
with being around him now that I know what he
taste like, what his hands feel like on me? Never,
never have I felt what I’m feeling right now. I
didn’t even know it was possible to experience this
amount of arousal. My body is coiled tight, like at
any moment I might come right out of my skin.

“You’re not going on a date with Mike.”
Wait, what?

“What?” I whisper.
His face comes closer to mine. “You are not

going on a date.”

I watch his jaw clench up close and my stomach

muscles bunch in response. “Den—”

“No.” He shakes his head, crowding my space

until I’m pressed against the wall and he’s firmly
molded against me, with one hand on my hip and
the other on the wall above my shoulder. “You’re
mine, Bre, and I don’t care what I have to do to
prove it. But I will prove it to you one way or
another.”

Swallowing hard, I shake my head in denial.

“Denver, we can’t do this.”

“Oh yes we can, and yes we are. I’ve been

waiting, Bre, waiting for-fucking-ever for you to be
ready. I’m done waiting.” His softly spoken words
slam into me, scaring me to death.

“Please step back.” My voice and body shake in

tandem.

“For now.” His warm breath brushes against my

lips. “For right now, I’ll give you space, but only
until Lyra goes to bed tonight. When that happens,
you and I are going to have a long-overdue
conversation about what we are to each other.”

“Okay,” I agree instantly, knowing I’m literally

stuck between a wall and a hard place and there is
no other way for me to get away from him but to
agree. I shimmy out of his grasp and duck under his

arm. I don’t look at him again. I leave him standing
near the door and rush to the kitchen. When I see
Ly at the island with her fingers in the icing on the
cake, I give her a shaky smile.

“Ly, no one is going to want to eat the cake if it

doesn’t have any icing left on it.” I get close,
kissing the side of her head as I grab her hand. I
pick her up, take her to the sink, and then set her
on the counter.

“But it’s so yummy.” She licks her fingers as I

turn on the water.

“It is yummy.” Denver’s deep voice makes me

jump, and I look to find him licking icing off his
own fingers.

Oh, God. My stomach and core clench at the

same time while my nipples harden. “No more
icing,” I squeak, and he smirks like he knows just
what kind of effect he’s having on me. What the
hell is happening?

“So where are we with the decorating?”
“You don’t have to help.” I shut off the water

and dry Ly’s hands before setting her on her feet.
“I’m sure you have more important stuff to do right
now.”

“Nothing’s more important to me then you and

Lyra.”

“Did you suffer a concussion today?” I ask

seriously, wondering what the hell has come over
him. First, the kiss, and now that comment. I know

Lyra means the world to him, that’s never been a
secret. But he’s never, ever made a pass at me,
definitely never kissed me, and he sure as heck has
never talked to me the way he did moments ago.

“What’s a concussion?” Ly asks.
I look down at my beautiful baby girl. “It’s when

someone bumps their head, baby.”

“Oh.” She looks worriedly at Denver. “Are you

okay?”

“I didn’t bump my head, gorgeous, but I did get

a reality check this afternoon.”

Her worried look becomes a frown. “What’s a

reality check?”

“It’s just a saying, honey,” I chime in, ready for

this to be done and over with. “Why don’t we get
back to decorating? We still have a lot to do before
people start showing up.”

“Okay.” She shrugs and skips away from me,

heading for the doorway that leads to the dining
room. I follow behind her, ignoring the fact that I
can feel Denver coming with us.

“So did you see any bears when you went out

today?” I hear him ask, as I pick up the streamer
tape Ly was playing with earlier. I listen to Ly tell
him about the black bear we saw in a tree on the
way to the river and the grizzly we saw catching
salmon. When she tells him about our plans to go
sledding tomorrow, I cringe when she invites him
along and he agrees to come. I want to chime in

and say he’s not invited, but I keep my mouth shut.
Ly loves Denver, and he loves her too, so as much
as it’s going to suck being around him after what
just happened, I can’t just kick him out of her life.
Which means I can’t kick him out of mine either.

For the next hour and a half, I try to ignore

Denver’s presence, which isn’t easy. He’s
constantly standing too close, offering to help me
hang the streamers and balloons. At one point, he
even followed me into the kitchen and pressed into
my back, one hand on my hip, before he reached
up over my head to grab the bowls I was trying to
grab out of one of the high cupboards. Ly
thankfully hasn’t seemed to notice him acting
differently, but I notice, and my body, which has
not cooled one degree, notices for sure.

When the doorbell rings at four thirty, I almost

jump for joy, because I know it’s my dad, Shel, and
my baby sister Penelope here with the pizzas.
Having them around will be the distraction I so
desperately need.

“Hey, guys.” I smile at them when I open the

door, and my dad eyes me with a look that has me
squirming. Can he tell I’ve been kissed? I press my
fingers to my lips, wondering if they are swollen or
if it’s obvious to him what happened earlier.

“Hey, gorgeous,” Shel greets me with a smile and

a kiss to my cheek. “What do you need me to help
with?”

“We just need to get the food out. We got

everything else set up,” I tell her as I let her go.

“Really?” Her eyes go over my shoulder, and I

see them fill with something I don’t quite
understand. “Hey, Denver.”

“Hey, Shel.” I catch his smile as Ly squirms to be

put down.

As soon as her feet touch the floor, she rushes to

Shel and giggles “Grandma” when Shel picks her
up and spins her around and around in circles.

When I feel my sister wrap her arms around my

waist, I tip my head down to look at her, but she’s
gone before I can even give her a greeting, chasing
after her niece who she adores.

“Baby girl,” Dad calls, and I look at him.

“What’s going on? Why do you look freaked?”

“Nothing’s going on.” His eyes narrow. “It’s just

been a busy day,” I add, hoping my answer will
soothe him enough that he won’t ask more
questions.

“You sure?”
“Yep,” I chirp, and his eyes narrow further. “Do

you want to set those down in the dining room?” I
nod at the pizza boxes.

He doesn’t answer or stop studying me. My dad

knows me too well. We’ve always been close, and
we only became closer when he and my mom split
and after I lost Gabe.

“Did your mom call?”

At his question, my insides tighten painfully. My

mother isn’t a part of my life unless it’s convenient
for her or unless she needs a place to stay when
she’s in town. Our relationship was rocky when I
was in school. I didn’t like the man she’d been
dating, and that only made things more turbulent.
Our relationship improved a little after she broke up
with the guy, but it wasn’t great. Things got a little
better around the time I married Gabe. She was
around a little more, but never a steady fixture,
never dependable. When I lost Gabe, things
between us went downhill quickly. I really needed
her then, really needed her to step up and be my
mom, especially after I found out I was pregnant,
but she never did. In fact I haven’t seen her in
years.

I won’t say I hate her, because I don’t. I just

don’t like the person she is. I don’t understand her
at all, especially now that I’m a mother myself. If it
weren’t for Shel, I don’t know that I would fully
understand what a mother’s love is. She’s been a
constant in my life; she’s always here for me when
I need her, and even when I don’t.

“No, she hasn’t called,” I say when I feel his

eyes on me, waiting for my response.

“Fuck.” His jaw gets tight and I rest my hand on

his arm.

“It’s okay.”
“It’s not, it’s her goddamn granddaughter’s

birthday.”

“You’re right it’s not okay, but it is what it is.”
“Let me take those,” Denver says, appearing at

my side, and I watch him take the pizza boxes from
Dad and walk away without another word.

“Hear you got a date next Friday,” Dad remarks,

watching Denver disappear. Seriously, Shel has a
big mouth, and I know it was her who spilled the
beans since she’s the only one I told about Mike
asking me out. I shrug, not wanting to confirm or
deny. “Also see Denver’s here.” My eyes widen.
“Good to see that boy’s finally pulling his head
outta his ass.”

“Dad!”
“You two have been dancing around each other

for years. I don’t know what’s going to happen
between you, but if in the end you find happiness,
I’ll be good with that.”

“Nothing is going to happen,” I sputter. I can’t

believe what I’m hearing.

“Everything okay?” Shel asks, sliding under

Dad’s arm.

“Fine. Everything is fine.” I shove my fingers

through my hair. Did I somehow wake up in an
alternate universe this morning without knowing it?
“I need to go make sure Ly hasn’t eaten all the
icing off the cake.” I start to leave but turn to look
at Shel when her words bring me to a halt.

“Lyra asked to stay with us tonight. I told her it

was fine. I hope that’s okay.”

Great, now I won’t have an excuse to avoid

Denver by keeping Ly up all night with the
temptation of movies and popcorn.

“It’s fine,” I sigh.
“If they’re watching Lyra, me and you can go

into town to have a drink,” Denver says, making
me jump, and my head flies around to face him so
fast I get dizzy.

“Oh, that’s a great idea,” Shel agrees happily,

and I fight the urge to stomp my foot like Ly does
when she’s not getting her way. “You never go out.
It would be good for you.”

I can’t believe I thought my family would be a

distraction, a buffer between Denver and me. It
seems they are now only adding to my current
problem.

“I…” Crap, I press my lips together, trying to

come up with a quick, realistic excuse for why I
can’t go, but I don’t have one. Ly won’t be home
and I don’t have work tomorrow. “Fine,” I grit out,
and Denver smiles. I want to wipe the stupid,
attractive smile off his stupid, handsome face, but I
don’t… even when my fingers itch to do it.

“Mommy, can I open my present from Grandma

and Grandpa?” Ly asks, and I turn to find her with
a gift bag that’s almost as big as she is. I didn’t
notice the bag earlier, but Shel must have had it
when she came in.

“If they don’t mind.”
“Can I please?” She jumps up and down, giving

her grandparents a pleading look.

“Go for it,” Dad says, walking toward her, and

she squeals, dropping the bag to the ground and
tossing the tissue paper out with a flourish.

“Thank you.” She dances around happily when

she sees she now has a new dollhouse and two new
babies to play with. I clean up the paper and boxes
then settle her in the living room with her new toys.
Pen stays with her, promising to keep an eye on her
while I finish putting food and drinks out.

With Shel, Dad, and Denver’s help, we finish just

as everyone starts to show up. And after that, I’m
so busy I don’t have time to dwell on the fact that
Denver wants to talk about me belonging to him. Or
the fact that I’m going to the bar with him tonight,
which kinda means we’re going on a date. Not to
mention I’m supposed to have a date with Mike
next week.

When the hell did my life get so complicated?
Just when I’m about to go get the cake from the

kitchen at five thirty, I hear the doorbell chime. I
start toward it, but stop when Shel waves me off to
answer it herself. When I see her walk back into
the dining room with two people trailing behind her
a few seconds later, my stomach turns. Gabe’s
parents are not my favorite people, but they are
Ly’s grandparents, and another link to the father

she will never really know. So as hard as it is for me
to be around them, I really do try to put my feelings
about them aside for Ly’s sake.

“Hi, Pauline.” I give Gabe’s mom a smile and

then look at her husband, keeping my expression in
place. “Jack, I’m so glad you could both make it.”

I don’t hug either of them. I learned early on that

they are not the kind of people to show affection, a
trait Gabe unfortunately shared with them. Gabe
was not the kind of guy to kiss me for no reason. I
can count on both my hands the number of times
we even held hands. I didn’t mind it too much,
because I knew he loved me; he showed me he did
every single day he was alive in other ways. I still
wonder how he would have been with Ly. I wonder
if he would have changed for her, because she is
affectionate. She’s always been the kind of kid who
has no problem giving out hugs or kisses to any and
everyone she loves—though I can’t recall ever
seeing her hug either of Gabe’s parents. Then again,
they don’t exactly give off hugging vibes.

“Aubrey,” Jack says in a dismissive sort of way,

as his eyes sweep the room filled with friends and
family.

“Where’s Lyra?” Pauline asks, looking around as

well.

“My sister took her up to her room to help

change into the birthday dress Joe brought. She
should be back down in just a couple of minutes,” I

reply, then add, “There’s lots off food. Please make
yourselves at home.”

They don’t respond to my statement. They also

don’t grab plates for food. Instead, they walk to
one of the empty corners in the room away from
everyone else and lean against the wall.

I know I won’t be able to do anything to make

them feel welcome, so I leave them and everyone
else in the dining room and head to the kitchen.
Once I’m done placing the candles in the top of the
cake, I pick it up and grab a book of matches, along
with Ly’s birthday gifts from me.

Before I make it to the kitchen doorway, Denver

comes into view and I instantly go on alert. “Let
me help with that.” He takes the cake from me, and
without another word, he walks toward the dining
room. I light the candles when I hear Pen shout out
that she and Ly are coming down, and Shel turns
out the lights. As soon as Ly arrives in the doorway,
wearing a pink T-shirt with her name in glittery
writing and a poufy skirt, we all sing “Happy
Birthday” to her, which makes her face light up
with glee. Tears start to burn the back of my throat,
and I fight to keep them at bay. It’s times like these
I miss Gabe the most. Holidays have become easier
over the years, but it’s hard to think about what Ly
is missing out on with her dad not being here to
celebrate with us. When the song comes to an end,
Ly blows out the candles then sticks her fingers in

the cake, taking a swipe of icing and making us all
laugh when she shoves her fingers in her mouth.
She smiles from ear to ear.

“Can I open my gifts now?” Ly asks, bouncing

on her toes while eyeing the stack of presents
against the wall.

“Sure, honey.” I kiss the side of her head before

she gets down to open her gifts then take my
camera from Shel so I can get some pictures of her.
When she’s done opening presents and thanking
everyone, people start to take off and I begin to
clean up. As I’m gathering up empty plates and
cups, Pauline comes into the dining room and starts
to help—something that shocks me. Then she opens
her mouth, and I know she’s trying to be helpful to
soften me up.

“We’d really like to take Lyra to Nevada for a

couple weeks this summer,” she says, and my lungs
start to feel funny. “My mother is ill and I’m afraid
that if she doesn’t meet her great-grandma now,
then she never will.”

“I don’t know.” I shake my head. I don’t like the

idea of being away from my baby for a night, much
less a week. Since she was born, she’s rarely been
gone overnight, and even then, she is just right next
door at my parents’ place.

“She should get to know her dad’s family. Gabe

would have wanted her to spend time with his
grandparents, would have wanted her to meet his

family.”

As guilt starts to settle in the pit of my stomach, I

wonder if he would have wanted that. He never
really spoke about his family outside of his parents,
and I wouldn’t even say he and his parents were
close. They had a strange relationship, one I never
really understood.

“I need to think about it.” I don’t really need to

think about it, but I don’t want to have this
conversation right now, not with people around,
and not when I feel put on the spot.

“We are her family too, Aubrey. Even with Gabe

gone, we are still her family.” Her words make my
stomach hurt.

“I know, Pauline, and like I said, I’ll think about

it. I just don’t know. She’s still young, and we have
never been apart for more than a night over the last
four years,” I say quietly.

“Did you ask her?” Jack questions, coming into

the dining room right then, and I look at him.

“I did. She’s going to think about it.”
“Good.” He gives me a nod of approval. “Let’s

tell Lyra bye and head out.”

“Sure.” She hands me the stack of paper cups

she’s picked up. “Let me know what you decide. I
plan on booking our tickets in the next few weeks,
so if you could let us know sooner than later, I’d
appreciate it.”

“I’ll let you know,” I agree, and she nods then

leaves with her husband. I move to the hall and
watch them say goodbye to Ly, feeling my stomach
twist when she holds herself back from hugging
them like she did everyone one else who came to
celebrate her birthday.

“What was that about?” Shel asks, coming my

way when they are gone and the door is closed
behind them.

“They want to take Ly to visit their family in

Nevada for a couple weeks this summer.”

“They want to take her for a week? They

haven’t even had her overnight.”

“I know.” I let out a sigh.
“What did you tell them?”
“That I’d think about it. I don’t want to let her

go, but I feel so guilty. I don’t want to keep Ly from
Gabe’s family. I don’t want her to hate me in a few
years because I didn’t allow her to get to know
them.”

“Honey, you don’t have to do anything you’re

not comfortable with. Lyra is young; she’s still a
baby as far as I’m concerned. She should be here
with you.”

I nod in agreement. “The bad thing is I have time

to break the news to them. I just hope when I tell
them no they are understanding.”

“You know your dad and I are here. We can go

with you if you want. Maybe we can help explain
why right now isn’t the time for that kind of

separation.”

“Thanks, Shel.”
“Anytime.” She gives me a hug. “I’m going to

get Ly’s bag and take her over to the house. Have
fun tonight with Denver.”

“Shel….” I let the warning hang in the air

between us.

Her eyes soften and she reaches out to me,

resting her hand against my cheek. “Just have fun.”

“Sure,” I mumble, and she drops her hand away,

giving me a smile. I say goodbye to Denver’s mom,
Joe, along with his family and mine. Once everyone
is gone, I go to the kitchen, where I come up with
another excuse as to why I can’t go out tonight. I
just hope it works.

HAPTER

_______________

ENVER

“HOW LONG DO YOU NEED to get ready to go
out?”

At my question, Bre looks up from the counter

that she’s been wiping down for the last fifteen
minutes. A counter that was already clean, because
Shel and my mom spent time cleaning up the
kitchen after everyone else left. They just took off
themselves, all of them going next door to Bre’s
mom and dad’s to watch a movie.

“I don’t really feel up to going out. I have a

headache.”

“Did you take something?”
She licks her lips. “Um… I didn’t. It’s not that

bad.” She turns her back to me and starts to wipe
down the sink. “You can go. I’m probably gonna
just take a shower and head to bed.”

“You’re full of shit,” I state, and she turns her

head to look at me over her shoulder.

“Pardon?”
“You don’t have a headache. You’re just using

that as an excuse to avoid me once again.”

“I’m not,” she lies, and I know she’s lying,

because every time she does, her head tips a little
to the right. She’s always done that, ever since I
can remember.

“You are.”
“Okay, so maybe I just don’t want to go out.”
“That’s fine.” I shrug, and relief fills her eyes. “I

don’t mind staying in. We can talk here.”

“Thirty minutes.”
“What?”
She tosses the sponge in her hand into the sink

then skirts past me, doing it quickly. Pausing in the
hall, she glances at me over her shoulder. “I’ll be
ready to go in thirty minutes.”

“Right.” I grin, and she huffs out an annoyed

breath before stomping off, which makes me laugh.

While she’s doing whatever women do to get

ready to go out, I go to the living room and look out
the front window, my mind wandering to the party.

Everyone who was invited showed, and Bre was

having a good time… until Gabe’s parents arrived. I
know that since Gabe’s passing, Bre has made an
effort to include them in Lyra’s life. They’re always
invited to holidays and birthdays, though they don’t
always show up, which is probably a good thing.
Bre shut down the moment they arrived here. No,

she didn’t lose her smile, but I could see it in her
eyes that she was uncomfortable.

Then again, they made everyone uncomfortable.

They didn’t chat or even try to join in on the
conversations going on around them. They just
huddled together in the corner of the room, talking
amongst themselves. The only person they
interacted with was Lyra, and that didn’t last long,
because she wanted to play with her toys and spend
time with her friends who came to celebrate her
birthday. I can’t say I’m surprised by their
behavior. Since they moved to town years ago, they
have kept to themselves. No one really knows
much about them, and they have never attempted
to change that.

“Ready.” Bre’s voice brings me back to the

moment and I turn to face her, feeling my mouth go
dry. Her long, dark blonde hair is down, framing her
pretty face. She’s wearing a little makeup, just
enough to make her eyes pop and her lips are
glossy. Her top and jeans are both formfitting,
showing off her curves, and the high-heel boots on
her feet seem to make her legs look long as hell.
Jesus, she’s fucking beautiful without even trying.

I sweep my eyes back up her body to meet her

gaze. “You look beautiful.”

“Stop,” she demands, holding her palm up

toward me.

I can’t contain my frown. “Stop what?”

“Stop acting so weird. It’s starting to freak me

out. You’ve never talked to me like you have today.
Not ever. You’ve definitely never kissed me, and
now the compliment? It’s too much.”

“Do you know how many times over the years

I’ve wanted to tell you how beautiful you are? How
many times I wanted to touch you, kiss you, claim
you?”

“Denver.”
“I’m not going to stop, Bre. I’m not going to stop

—even after I get what I want.”

“See? You’re freaking me out again!” she cries,

tossing her arms out.

“What are you so afraid of?” I take a step

toward her.

She takes a step back, shaking her head. “I’m

not afraid of anything.”

“You are. You’ve always been afraid of me. Why

is that?”

“I’m not scared of you. I just…. We just…. I just

don’t understand the game you’re playing. I don’t
know why you’re doing this now. Why you’re
acting like this now.”

“I’m not playing a game. As for why now? I

think I told you earlier. I knew you weren’t ready
before, not for what I wanted. Now, all bets are
off.”

“What you wanted?” she whispers.
“What I want.” I move closer to her and drop

my voice. “I’ve always wanted you.” Our eyes stay
locked as I wrap my hand around her hip. “You’re
the only woman I’ve ever wanted.”

I feel her body tighten under my palm before she

jerks away. “Liar,” she hisses, her eyes filling with
anger. “Keep up with this game if you want, but
don’t lie to me.”

My brows draw together in confusion. “It’s not a

lie.”

“Yes.” She shoves my chest with one hand while

glaring at me. “Yes, it is.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?”
At my question, her face pales and her eyes slide

away. “Nothing, let’s just go.”

She starts to move toward the door, but I step in

front of her and block her path. “No. Tell me why
you’re calling me a liar.”

“No.” She doesn’t look at me. “No. Either we

leave now, or I’m not going.”

My jaw clenches. I want to demand she open up

to me, but I know that if I push too hard, she’ll
close down and I’ll lose my shot. “Let’s go.” I open
the front door, and she steps out onto the porch
with me, but stops to lock the door. When we make
it down the steps, I place my hand at the small of
her back and lead her to the passenger side of my
truck, opening the door. Once she’s in, I head
around to climb in behind the wheel. We don’t talk
as I drive us down to the harbor and park, and she

keeps quiet as I lead her into the bar. I lift my chin
as we pass people I know, but don’t stop to talk to
any of them, even though I can see a million
questions on their faces as we walk by.

“You okay?” I ask Bre once she’s seated at a

four-top table at the back of the bar.

“Yeah.”
I can tell by the set of her shoulders that she’s

uncomfortable. I doubt she’s ever been here or to
any of the other bars in town. Hell, when we were
in high school, I can only ever remember her going
to the one party I invited her to, the party where I
had planned on making my move.

“What do you want to drink? Beer, wine,

something else?” I ask, taking off my coat and
hanging it on my chair.

Her nose scrunches up, making her look

adorable. “Water.”

I smile. “Babe, we’re at a bar, and you don’t

have work tomorrow. It’s okay to have a drink.”

“Beer is gross, and wine isn’t much better. I’d

rather just drink water.”

“What about mixed drinks?”
“I haven’t tried any. I’m not a big drinker.” She

slips off her jacket.

“All right, I’ll order you a water and something

else. If you don’t like it, you don’t have to drink it.”

“Sure.” She shrugs.
“Be right back.” I head for the bar, and Andy, an

old friend and the bartender, lifts his chin, coming
toward me.

“What can I get you?”
“Beer, water, and a Moscow mule if you can

make it.”

“Don’t got those fancy copper cups, but got the

shit to make the drink. You good with that?”

“Yep.”
“Right.” He grabs a beer and hands it over to me

after popping the top. “I see you’re here with
Aubrey.” He nods toward where Bre is sitting while
he grabs a bottle of vodka off the top shelf.

“Yep,” I repeat.
“She looks about ready to bolt,” he observes,

and I look over to find her eyeing the door. It
makes me smile, but my smile quickly turns into a
frown as I watch a guy approach her. My insides
tighten with raw, ugly jealousy when she stands to
greet him with a hug. “She’s pretty. Always been
pretty. It’s probably a good thing she doesn’t hang
out here. I imagine you’d be busy cock-blocking if
she did.”

“Shut the fuck up.” I listen to him laugh as I grab

the drinks from the counter and head to the table,
where the guy is now laughing at something Bre
said.

The moment I arrive, Bre’s wide eyes come to

me and she swallows. “Here, baby.” I hand her the
drink then look at the guy. I don’t know him, but I

have no doubt he’s the Mike she was supposed to
be going out with next week. “What’s up, man?” I
stick my hand out toward him. “Denver. And you
are?”

“Mike.” He gives my hand a shake while his

eyes bounce between Bre and me.

I want to squeeze his hand until his fingers snap,

but I don’t. I let it drop then wrap my arm around
Bre’s shoulders. We still have a lot of shit to work
out, but I wasn’t lying when I told my mom that
I’m not going to let her be taken from me again.
She’s mine. She might want to deny that fact, but I
won’t stop fighting for her until I finally get what I
want.

“How do you two know each other?” I question

after taking a pull from my beer.

“He comes in for fuel sometimes,” Bre answers,

trying to lean away from me. I don’t let her get far,
and after a moment, she stops trying to pull away,
but her body stays tight.

“You live around here, Mike?”
“No, I live in Yakutat in the summer, Vegas in

the winter,” he mumbles, looking confused as he
watches me toy with a piece of Bre’s hair, wrapping
it and unwrapping it around my finger.

“You like Vegas?”
“It’s nice.” He shifts uncomfortably while

glancing at the door. “I’m gonna head out. Nice
meeting you.” His eyes move to meet Bre’s and

soften. “Call me.”

“Not fucking happening,” I say under my breath

after he gone, and Bre’s head flies around so fast
her hair hits my face.

“Seriously?” she hisses, glaring at me.
“Seriously what?”
“What was that?” she snaps.
“He’s the guy you were going to go out with?”

Her eyes narrow and she leans even farther away.
This time, I let her get out from under my arm, but I
don’t let her get far. I wrap my hand around her
nape and pull her back until we are almost nose-to-
nose. “I think we need to have that talk.”

“No, we don’t, and you can’t tell me who I will

or won’t go out with.”

“Baby, you are so fucking wrong about that. And

the point is moot, since you don’t even want to go
out with him.” I lean back and take a pull from my
beer.

“What are you talking about? I did want to go

out with him. That’s why I agreed to a date when
he asked me out.”

“Don’t lie to yourself, beautiful. You agreed to

go out with him, because he isn’t a threat to the
giant fucking walls you’ve built up around
yourself.”

“You think you know everything, don’t you?”

she asks angrily.

“No, but I do know you. I know you’re not

interested in him, not even a little bit.”

“Whatever.” She looks away knowing I’m right

and picks up her drink, taking a sip.

I fight back a smile when she takes another. “Is it

good?”

“It’s not bad,” she grumbles, and I chuckle.

“Whatever.”

“Look at me, Bre,” I say softly, and I can tell she

doesn’t want to, but her eyes come to me. “Let’s
just try to have some fun. Shel is right; you need a
night out.”

“If you don’t bring up wanting to talk again, I’ll

try to have fun,” she haggles.

I keep my eyes on hers and nod. “I can do that.”
“Okay.” She picks up her drink and takes

another sip while she eyes the pool tables in the
back of the room with curiosity.

“Do you know how to play pool?”
“I used to. I haven’t played in forever.”
“It’s like riding a bike. You’ll remember when

you start playing again.” I stand and pull her up
with me then pick up my beer and hand over her
drink. I drag her to the back where there are two
pool tables, and I set up a game for us at the one
that’s not being used. When she breaks and pockets
two balls, I’m not sure which is hotter—her ass
when she’s bent over the table, or the smug smile
she gives me when our eyes lock.

I start around the table toward her, wanting to

kiss the smile off her face, but come to a stop when
my name is called from across the room. I turn and
watch a friend of mine, Scott, coming toward us
with a woman I don’t recognize from town under
his arm. Then again, Scott isn’t a local. Like a lot of
people in town right now, he’s just here for the
season. I met him a few years ago when he worked
on my boat. He’s one of the best mechanics around
and is busy non-stop during the summer when he
comes to work.

“How’s it going?” I give his hand a shake, and he

smiles at me before looking down at the woman at
his side.

“My wife is here for a few days, so it’s good.

Babe, this is Denver. Denver, my wife Steph.”

“Nice to meet you.” I lift my chin then reach out

and tag Bre’s hand when I see her trying to scoot
away, probably to go hide out at the table or in the
bathroom. “This is Aubrey. Bre, this is Scott and his
wife Steph. Scott’s the guy who overhauled my
engine last year.”

“Nice to meet you both.” She ducks her head

slightly, and I give her hand a reassuring squeeze
before dropping it so I can wrap my arm around her
shoulders. She doesn’t pull away like I expect her
to. Instead, she tucks her body closely against mine
like she’s using me as a shield.

“You guys mind if we join you for a couple

games?” Scott asks, looking between Bre and me. I

want to say I do mind, but Bre needs this. She
needs to come out of her shell and see that the
world around her isn’t as scary as she thinks it is. I
love her shyness; it’s one of the things that drew me
to her from the beginning. It made me want to
protect her. It also made me want to show her it’s
okay to open up and let her hair down. I know she’s
sweet. I also know she can be funny when she
drops her guard; it just takes her awhile to do that
with people she doesn’t know. And sadly, her looks
and that shyness tend to throw people off. It makes
those just meeting her think she’s a snob, when that
couldn’t be further from the truth.

“You okay with that?” I ask Bre, dipping my

head down to look at her.

“Yeah, sure.” She smiles, but it doesn’t quiet

touch the nervousness in her gaze.

“Awesome, I’m gonna set us up.” Scott kisses

the side of his wife’s head before letting her go to
move back toward the table.

I give Bre’s shoulder a squeeze to get her

attention, and when she looks up at me, I drop my
voice. “You good here with Steph?”

“Yeah.”
“I’ll be right over there.” I nod to the table, and

she looks in that direction.

“Okay.”
I want to drop my mouth to hers, but instead I

touch my fingers to her chin and slide my thumb

across her bottom lip before I let her go. I move
toward Scott but stick close in case Bre looks like
she might take off.

“I love your boots,” Steph says, and I see Bre

jolt at the compliment.

“Thanks. I really like yours too, and your

jacket,” she replies softly.

“Thanks, I got it in Oregon a few years ago.

Where did you get your boots? I need to get a pair.”

“Anchorage, but it was about five years ago. I

doubt Macy’s still has them,” Bre answers.

“Bummer.” Steph laughs, and Bre joins her.

Hearing that laughter, I know she’s good, so I move
to the other side of the table where Scott is picking
up a pool cue. I gather all the balls again to start up
a new game then turn when Scott speaks softly. “Is
she the Aubrey you’re always talking about? Lyra’s
mom?”

“One and the same.”
“I see why you’ve stuck around these last few

years.” He smirks, and I shrug.

I have stuck around the last few years for her,

but I’ve also stayed because of Lyra. That little girl
holds my heart. Since the moment I held her slight
weight in my arms at the hospital not long after she
was born, I knew I would do everything within my
power to protect her and be there for her. It hasn’t
always been easy, not while seeing the life I want
just out of reach. A life where Bre, Lyra, and I are a

family. The only thing that’s helped me through is
knowing in my gut that, in the end, things will work
out in my favor.

When I hear Bre laugh, I turn to look over my

shoulder. Like she senses me, our gazes collide and
I smile, watching her cheeks darken. Yes, in the
end, I’ll get what I want, but I will also be giving
Bre what she wants and needs too. There has
always been an undeniable connection between us.

My mom always told me that when I found the

girl I’d want to spend my life with, I’d just know. I
knew that was Bre, even when I was a teenager,
and now years later, I still feel the same. That’s
why I have never been in a serious relationship
with another woman, because at the end of the day,
no one would ever be her.

I still don’t know why Bre got with Gabe, but

I’ve heard my mom and Shel talking enough to
understand that Gabe was safe for her. He didn’t
push her to try new things, he wasn’t a threat to the
bubble she built around herself, he didn’t challenge
her, and he didn’t dare her to explore her fears or
take chances. I’m nothing like Gabe. I don’t get the
point of living if you’re not really living, if you’re
not testing boundaries, exploring, and taking risks. I
have always lived life on my terms.

“What was the name of the drink you got me?” I

look at Bre when she asks that simple question and
notice the glass she’s holding is now empty.

“So you liked it?”
“I drank it.” She shrugs.
“You liked it.” I smirk.
“Whatever.” She rolls her eyes.
“It was a Moscow mule.”
“Oh! I want one of those.” Steph wraps her arm

through Bre’s. “Or maybe I’ll get a lemon drop if
they have the stuff to make one.”

“What’s a lemon drop taste like?” Bre asks her.
“Oh, honey, you’re going to have to experience

it for yourself,” Steph says, starting to lead Bre
toward the bar.

“Andy!” I shout, and he turns his attention

toward me, lifting his chin. “Start a tab.”

“Got it, man,” he calls back, giving both Bre and

Steph his attention when they reach the bar.

_______________

“I think I wove you,” Bre says, then her nose
scrunches up. “Wove you.” She shakes her head.
“Love you.” She smiles when she gets the word
right and rests her head on Steph’s shoulder, closing
her eyes.

“I love you too. You’re my new bestest friend in

the whole world.” Steph rests her head on Bre’s,
closing her eyes with a smile on her face.

I look at Scott and shake my head. Both women

are out of it, totally and completely smashed. I have

never seen Bre drink, so I’m not surprised that two
Moscow mules and three lemon drops knocked her
on her ass. She’s adorable drunk, and I have to say
drinking is one sure way to get her out of her shell.
I have never seen her talk so much.

She’s had random conversations with almost

every person in the bar, and more than once I had
to rescue her when she’d sit at a table and start to
chat. The men sure as hell got a kick out of her. The
women were another story. Especially when she’d
start talking to their men. She didn’t flirt. I don’t
think she even knows how to flirt. But just being
her, she draws attention, and when she’s chatty and
open, talking about random shit like fuel or bears,
her cheeks pink and her eyes dancing with
excitement, she’s gorgeous.

“I think I need to get my wife home before she’s

so far gone I’m forced to carry her out of here over
my shoulder,” Scott says, finishing off his beer
before standing.

Steph opens her eyes and squints up at him. “I’m

not that drunk.”

“Babe, you’re wasted.” He grins at her.
“Am not.” She stands up then stumbles sideways

laughing. “Okay, maybe I’m a little drunk,” she
gives, and then asks, “Can I have piggy back ride to
the hotel?”

“You couldn’t hold on if your life depended on

it.”

“Can too.” She places her hands on her hips. He

shakes his head then turns his back to her, and she
hops on, wrapping herself around him while
cackling.

“See you around, man,” he mumbles to me, and I

nod.

“Bye!” Steph smiles then looks at Bre. “Call me.

We can do lunch one day.”

“I will.” Bre grins, then giggles when Steph

shouts, “Giddy up!” while slapping her husband’s
ass.

“You ready to head home?” I ask.
Bre’s eyes come to me, and I see something in

her eyes that makes me brace myself. “Can I see
your boat?”

“My boat?”
“Yeah, I’ve never been on it and I’ve always

wanted to.”

“It’s late. I think we should get you home, baby,”

I say softly, and she tips her head to the side.

“We could talk.”
“You wouldn’t remember anything we talked

about.”

“I would too.” She crosses her fingers over her

heart.

“All right.” I stand and bring her up with me then

smile when she wraps her arms around me.

“The floor is a little wobbly.”
“Or you’re a little drunk,” I state, tipping my

head down to look at her, and she grins.

“Those mixed drinks were awesome.”
Laughing, I hold her against me as we leave the

bar, and then I keep holding her as we walk the
short distance to the harbor where my boat is
docked. When we get there, I help her onto the
deck then stand back as she looks around. “What
did you want to see?”

“Everything,” she responds, turning to face me.
“There isn’t much to it.” I follow her into the

wheelhouse and show her around then take her
downstairs to the main-cabin-slash-kitchen. When
she takes a seat on the bed and kicks off her shoes,
my body tightens. “What are you doing, Aubrey?”

“I just need to rest a minute.” She lies back and

closes her eyes.

I stare at her in disbelief, and then close my eyes

when she starts to snore softly. “Christ.” I run my
fingers through my hair. Figuring there is nothing
left to do about it, I take off my coat and kick off
my boots. She doesn’t stir as I take off her jacket,
and she still doesn’t wake when I climb into bed
with her.

Lying on my back, I stare at the ceiling then

tense when she rolls into me and burrows herself
into my side. Liking her weight against me, I wrap
my arms around her and breathe in her scent. I’ve
dreamed of this moment a million times, and it kills
me a little to know that tomorrow she probably

won’t remember any of this, and if she does, she’ll
freak. Fuck it. I hold her a little tighter and hope to
god I’m able to show her that taking a chance on us
is worth it.

HAPTER

_______________

I WAKE SLOWLY TO THE SMELL of the ocean,
my body rocking softly from side to side. My whole
being is cocooned in warmth and safety. I snuggle
deeper into the hardness I’m pressed against, never
wanting this feeling to end. When two arms tighten
around me, I freeze and my brain registers I’m
sprawled out, mostly on top of a very warm, very
hard man. And without checking for conformation,
I know the man under me is Denver.

I can’t even blame him for our current situation.

I did this to myself. I willingly climbed into his bed
last night. In my defense, I was drunk when I did it.
But still, that’s no excuse. I should have known
better.

As I open my eyes and start to scoot away from

him, I try with all my might to ignore the intense
feelings in my chest. The ones that like a little too
much that his arms have become even tighter

around me in his sleep, like he doesn’t want to let
me go.

My throat burns and my mind screams this is

wrong. He was right last night; I did agree to go out
with Mike because he’s safe. Mike doesn’t get
under my skin. He doesn’t make me question my
feelings. He doesn’t make me doubt the way I felt
about Gabe, or make me wonder what my life
would be like if he were in it. Really, Mike doesn’t
make me feel anything. Then again, I don’t really
know him. So what the hell do I know? Maybe with
time, I would feel the same with Mike as I do right
now while trying to move away from Denver
without waking him up.

When I finally get free from his embrace, I

carefully climb off the bed and look around, using
the dim light coming from one of the portholes to
search for my boots. Judging by the sky outside, it’s
still early, really early, so if I’m lucky, I can get
home and sneak inside before anyone on my block
is awake to catch me.

Once I finally find both my boots, I carry them

with me up the stairs, and then I fumble with the
stupid handle on the door. It seems to take forever
for me to find the latch, and I’m scared to death
that Denver is going to wake up at any moment and
catch me sneaking out. When the door finally
unlocks, I breathe a sigh of relief and inhale a
lungful of salty sea air.

I make my way to the edge of the boat and

almost fall into the water when a large sea lion
barks from where it’s perched on the edge of the
dock, scaring me half to death. I give him a glare,
and he jumps into the harbor, causing water to
splash on me. I realize two things at once. The first
thing—it’s freezing out. And the second—I left my
jacket behind in my haste to get away. I close my
eyes and let my head fall back to my shoulders. I
don’t want to go back, but I don’t have much of a
choice, since leaving without my jacket means I’m
leaving without the key in its pocket. If I do that, I
will have no choice but to wake up my dad or Shel,
since the only spare key I have is at their place.

“Guessing you figured out you need to come

back in.”

At Denver’s statement, I turn to face him, and

I’m a little surprised he doesn’t look upset that I
took off without waking him to tell him I was
leaving.

“I—” I start to tell him… I don’t know… that

I’m sorry? That I don’t want to go back in? That
when I woke up this morning, my first thought was
that I never wanted to leave the cocoon of warmth
and safety I felt in his arms?

“Get back inside, Bre.”
“Can’t you just bring me my jacket?” I ask, and

his eyes flare with annoyance as they land on my
feet.

“You don’t even have your goddamn shoes on.”
“Denver,” I start, and then snap my mouth shut

when he closes the distance between us in two long
strides. As soon as he’s in my space, his hands go to
my hips and he lifts me up off my sock-covered
feet and tosses me over his shoulder. My breath
leaves on a whoosh, partly from the impact of his
shoulder hitting my stomach, and partly because of
stunned disbelief. I’ve never been picked up by a
man in my life, besides by my dad when I was a
little girl.

“Put me down.” My request is whispered as my

heart starts to thump hard behind my ribcage.
When he starts down the steps, I close my eyes. I
can’t believe I thought I could get away without
him realizing I was gone until I was actually gone. I
should’ve known it wouldn’t work. It seems to me
my luck—if I ever even had any at all—has run out
completely.

When he reaches the bottom of the steps he

walks across the small space and tosses me onto the
bed. I bounce twice then he’s on me, and his weight
is crushing me into the mattress. I don’t want to
think about how good it feels to have him on top of
me, how good he smells up close, how my body
seems to react to his nearness without my approval.
I don’t want to think about any of that, but it’s all I
can think about as his hands come up to frame my
face and his eyes lock with mine.

“What are you doing?” My chest heaves and my

pulse thunders so hard I can hear it in my ears.

His face softens, as he says gently, “Time for us

to talk.”

Panic flares hot and heavy through my system,

and I shove at his chest to get away.

Capturing my wrists, he drags them up over my

head and places his face close to mine. “Calm
down.”

“No. Get off me!” I shout, bucking my hips and

trying to dislodge his weight. He doesn’t let up,
doesn’t move an inch, while I use all my strength to
make him move. Breathing heavy, I give up and
close my eyes, trying to block him out the only way
I can.

“Why are you so scared of me, Bre?” he asks

quietly, and tears fill my eyes.

I shake my head, causing hot tears that have

gathered in my eyes to fall down the sides of my
face and into my hair. I can’t tell him why he scares
me. I can’t tell him that when I’m around him I
forget about my past with Gabe, that I forget about
the pain in my chest. I can’t tell him I’m petrified
of what I would feel if I ever had to go through
losing him. I can’t ever tell him that I never want to
be like my mother. That I’m terrified of getting so
mixed up with a man that I’d forget about
everything else, including Ly, forget about my life,
forget who I am. I know it’s stupid, but I also know

it’s true, because since the moment I met Denver,
he’s had the ability to make me forget about
everything but the feelings he evokes in me.

“Talk to me, baby,” he urges, but I shake my

head as more tears fall. “Are you afraid of me
hurting you physically?”

My eyes snap open and I glare at him. “No,

don’t be ridiculous.”

He smiles, and I realize what I just admitted.

Dammit.

“Okay then what are you afraid of?” he prompts.
“I’m not afraid of anything.”
“Don’t lie. I know you’re scared. I can see it in

your eyes when you look at me and your guard is
down.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
He shakes his head then drops his mouth to my

forehead, resting his lips there. “Are you scared of
falling in love with me?”

I want to laugh and tell him he’s full of himself if

he thinks I’d easily fall in love with him, but the
truth is, I’ve been in love with him forever. I loved
him when I was just a kid, loved him when I was
married to another man, and still love him to this
day. When Gabe died, I hated myself for having
those feelings; he didn’t deserve that. He should
have had all of me, and Denver never should have
crossed my mind, even if it was just me praying he
was happy and okay.

“I know we can be happy, Bre.” He keeps his

lips against my forehead. “I know we can make this
work. We can give each other something beautiful.”

“I had something beautiful,” I say bitterly to

guard my heart against his words, and his body goes
rigid above mine.

He pulls back to look at me, and his voice is soft

when he says, “Baby.”

“I don’t care what you’ve convinced yourself of,

Denver. I’m not interested in what you think is
going to happen between us.”

“Do you feel safe inside those walls you’ve built

around yourself? Are you happy there? Are you
okay with living your life like you have been? Are
you okay with the idea of one day settling down
with some guy you don’t really give a fuck about,
just because it’s safe, he’s safe?” he questions, and
my insides twist painfully.

“Get off me,” I hiss, his words striking too close

to home.

“No, I want to know. Do you like the idea of

being with someone who doesn’t give enough of a
fuck about you to even try and sort your shit out?”

“Oh, and you’re going to be the one to do that?

Because you… what? Know me so well?”

“Yeah, Bre, I fucking know you. I know you

better than you fucking know yourself. I know you
love me just as much as I love you, and I know that
scares the shit out of you. I also know you’ll do

anything to protect yourself, even if that means
passing up something you realize is good. I hate to
be the one to tell you this, baby, but life fucking
sucks sometimes, but either you learn from it or
you don’t. I pray to fucking God I never have to
know what it feels like to lose the person I planned
on spending the rest of my life with. But if God
forbid that ever did happen, I hope like fuck I’m
strong enough to take a chance on a good thing
when I see it. I hope I’m able to risk losing it all
again for the chance of being happy, even if it’s just
for a little fucking while.”

With those words cutting me open, he lets me go

and knifes off the bed, leaving me feeling cold and
completely alone. My throat burns and my heart
aches. I want to take everything back. I want to
wrap my arms around him and tell him I’m sorry,
that he’s right, that you should risk it all for the
chance of being happy, even for a moment. But I
don’t.

I sit up, keeping my eyes averted from him as I

numbly find my shoes and put them on along with
my jacket. I don’t look at him before I head up the
stairs. I can’t. I don’t trust myself with my emotions
running so high. When I make it to the deck and
step off the boat, my heart is hurting so badly I
don’t even care there are people around looking at
me oddly, that a lot of them are people who know
my family and will surly call my dad or Shel with

questions.

When I make it to the end of the pier, I gasp

when a hand wraps around my bicep. I look up into
Denver’s blank eyes, and my heart cracks then
splinters further when he speaks in a voice
completely void of emotion. “I’m taking you home,
and I don’t want to hear one goddamn excuse as to
why I’m not.” I nod once then follow him to his
truck. Once we’re both buckled in, he drives to my
house, stopping in the driveway without shutting
down the engine. “Tell Ly I won’t be able to make
it today, that something came up and I had to
work.”

My chest aches like a hundred-pound weight has

settled on it, and tears make the back of my throat
burn as I swallow them down. I keep my head
lowered, nod, and then open the door, hopping out
of the cab. When I slam the door, I stand there
staring at my feet, willing myself to open the door
back up to talk to him. No matter how hard I try to
work up the courage to face my fears, I don’t. I
don’t, because I’m a coward. I don’t, because I
don’t have the strength.

With a deep, shaky breath, I walk around the

back of his truck then head up my steps to let
myself into my house. It’s dark and quiet, and that
only adds to the loneliness I’m already feeling. I
head down the hall to my bedroom, strip out of my
clothes, and then crawl into bed, where I cry until I

can’t cry anymore.

_______________

Standing at the top of the sledding hill, I watch Ly
and Pen climb onto Ly’s bright orange sled and
take off down the muddy snow-covered ground
with a scream. When we pulled up here a little over
an hour ago and I saw the state of the hill, I wanted
to turn around and head home, but I didn’t. I didn’t,
because first, Ly was seriously disappointed Denver
canceled his plans with her, and second, the reason
for Ly’s disappointment was entirely my fault and I
needed to make that up to her.

“Okay, I’ve given you enough time. Talk to me.”
At Shel’s quiet demand, I turn to look at her and

want to kick myself for the worry I see in her eyes.
After I cried this morning, I got up, dressed, and
went over to my parents’ to pick up Ly. My dad
was at work, but Shel was there, and the minute she
saw my face, she knew something happened. When
she asked me about it, I told her I’d explain later,
and thankfully she let it go. Unfortunately, later is
now, and I can tell by the look she’s giving me that
she’s not going to drop it until I talk to her.

“I messed up.” I pull my eyes from hers and look

back down the hill to where Ly and Pen are now
coming back up the muddy trail with the help of my
dad. “Yesterday, Denver showed up at the house

early, because he heard I was going out on a date.”
I see her flinch out of the corner of my eye, and I
pull in a breath then look at her. “It’s okay.” I shake
my head. “He kissed me and told me he was done
waiting for me and that we needed to talk about
us.”

“He did that?” she asks, sounding not in shock

but in awe.

“He… I… God, Shel. I’ve been in love with him

since I can remember, but I don’t want that. I don’t
want to be with him. I can’t be with him.” I pull in a
shuddering breath and fight back the pain in my
chest, the one caused by the lies I’m saying out
loud.

“Why not?”
I close my eyes when I feel them start to fill with

tears. “He makes me forget everything,” I whisper.
“He makes me forget, and I don’t want to.”

“He makes you forget about Gabe.” It’s a

statement not a question, and I hate that she knows
I can so easily forget about the man I promised
myself to.

“Yes, about Gabe, about who I am, about my

promise to not end up like my mom.”

“You’re mom? What do you mean?”
“She forgets I exist every time she has a new

man in her life.”

Realization fills her eyes and her face softens.

“Honey, you’re not your mom, and you’re not

going to forget about Lyra just because you find a
man you care about.”

“You might be right, but then again, what does it

say about me and the way I felt about Gabe that I
forget all the years we had together the moment
I’m around Denver? It makes me feel like I’m
betraying him, like I didn’t love him enough… that
I don’t love him enough still.”

“Bre,” she whispers, and I notice tears

shimmering in her eyes.

“I’m the only connection Ly has to Gabe. If I

forget about him, who will tell her about the kind of
man he was?”

“Gorgeous, you will never forget about him. Not

ever. And you will never let Ly forget him either. I
know you loved him. Everyone knows that. But
your life didn’t end when his did, and you know
Gabe would’ve never wanted you to be alone. He
would have wanted you to find someone to share
your life with. He would have wanted you to be
happy.”

She wraps her arms around me, and I rest my

head on her shoulder as a quiet sob climbs up the
back of my throat. Gabe would have wanted me to
be happy. He always wanted me happy.

“I know it’s scary to even think about putting

your heart on the line,” she whispers against my
ear. “But I don’t want you to look back on your life
and have regrets, Aubrey. I don’t want you to look

at your life in a few years and wish you took a
chance. I know what it feels like to live with
regrets, honey. I wish I had been braver. Please, for
your happiness, be brave, honey.”

“Shel,” I whimper as the pain in her voice causes

my chest to hurt. I know she’s speaking from
experience. She and my dad gave their son up for
adoption when they were just kids themselves, and
not long after that, Shel left my dad behind,
because she was unable to deal with her pain. I
know she regrets leaving, even though without her
leaving, my brothers and I probably wouldn’t be
here.

“Be brave, beautiful, and I promise—” her arms

tighten around me “—promise you it will be worth
it.”

“Everything okay?” Dad’s deep voice breaks

into the moment, and I quickly stand back from
Shel and wipe the tears from my face as she does
the same with her own cheeks.

“Everything is fine. You know us, honey.

Sometimes us girls just need to have a good cry,”
Shel explains.

I peek up at my dad, who doesn’t look

convinced, and then look down when tiny arms
wrap around my legs. I rest my hand against the top
of Ly’s head. “You okay, Mama?” she asks, tipping
her head back to look at me.

“Yeah, baby.” I pick her up and look into her

eyes that are a mirror of my own. “You’re just
getting to be such a big girl. Sometimes it makes me
sad to think about it.” That’s not a complete lie; I
do get sad from time to time when I think about
how much she’s grown up, when I’m forced to
think about her becoming an adult and leaving me
to start her own life one day.

“You said I’ll always be your baby.”
“You will always be my baby,” I agree, hugging

her. “But you’re still getting big.”

“I want to get bigger,” she tells me, looking

suddenly serious.

“Why’s that?”
“When I’m bigger, I can have cake whenever I

want. Even for breakfast.”

Laughing, I bury my face in her hair and hug her

tightly.

“Can Pen and I go down the hill again?” she

asks, trying to break free from my hold.

I pull back to look at her once I’ve gained

control of myself. “Sure.” I set her to her feet then
I watch her drag her sled behind her to the top of
the hill. As soon as she’s in place, tucked in front of
Pen on the sled, they take off and I listen to their
carefree laughter fill the air.

Smiling at the sound, the heavy weight of an arm

comes to rest around my shoulders and my dad’s
voice fills my ears. “You’re an amazing mom,
Aubrey. Lyra is lucky to have you.”

“Dad.” I lean into him, wrapping my arms

around his waist.

His lips rest against the top of my head as his

quiet words wash over me. “I know it hasn’t been
easy raising her these last few years on your own.
But—”

“I haven’t been on my own,” I cut him off,

looking up at him. “I have you guys and Denv….”
My words tapper off, and I close my eyes when I
realize something I never realized before.

Denver has been with me from the beginning.

We haven’t lived together or been a couple, but
he’s been there for Lyra and me anytime we’ve
needed him. He stayed with Ly and me for weeks
right after she was born. He watched her when I
needed a shower, fed her and changed her so I
could rest, cooked so I’d eat. And through all that,
he acted like there was nowhere else he’d rather
be. He’s stayed over each Christmas, helping me
put together any toys that needed setting up, and
slept on the couch so he could be there to see Ly
first thing in the morning when she came down to
open her gifts. He’s been to every holiday and
every birthday, even mine, and has always made a
big deal out of celebrating me when I haven’t
wanted to.

“God,” I whisper, feeling my throat tighten as

thousands of memories fill my mind. He’s always
been here for us and for me. How did I never see

that before? I drop my forehead to my dad’s
shoulder, and his arm tightens around me. He
doesn’t ask what I’m thinking, but then again,
maybe he already knows. Feeling physically sick to
my stomach, I breathe in though my nose and out
through my mouth. I lied to Denver’s face to
protect myself, and now I don’t know if I will be
brave enough to fix what I broke.

HAPTER

_______________

UBREY

I STARE AT MY CELL PHONE and the message I
just got back from Mike. I sigh before tossing it
down on the coffee table next to my cup of herbal
tea. It’s done. My date with him is canceled, and
from his return message of I figured this was
coming, I should feel relieved he’s not mad, but I
don’t, because I should never have agreed to go out
with him in the first place.

I lean back and close my eyes, willing the

headache building at the back of my skull to go
away, and then sit forward, rubbing my hands down
my face. I’m tired, really tired, and I just hope I’ll
be able to fall asleep tonight. With another long
sigh, I stand up off the couch, pick up my half
empty mug along with my phone, and take both
with me to the kitchen. After dumping the contents
of my cup into the sink and placing it in there, I
head to my bedroom, shutting off lights along the

way.

I turn on the overhead light in my room then

walk to my bed, setting down my cell before
flipping on the switch to my new metal lamp with a
robin’s egg blue shade. I replaced everything in my
bedroom a few months ago when I realize I wasn’t
doing myself any favors by keeping things as they
were. Every time I was in here after Gabe died, it
felt like he’d come walking out of the bathroom at
any moment, or come join me in bed while I was
reading. Unlike the rest of the house that had
changed after Ly was born, everything in here was
connected to Gabe in some way, since we
purchased everything after we got married then
collected things over the years.

Shel was the one who finally convinced me it

was okay to let go, and I’m so glad she did. The
walls that were once a deep blue are now a cream
color that looks great with the new lighter furniture.
I got rid of the white duvet we had and chose floral
bedding that has blues, pinks, greens, and yellows. I
replaced our dark wood bed with a lighter wood
that has a high fabric headboard and metal
grommets nailed along the edge. The side tables
match the bed, with the same color metal as the
grommets on the handles.

I only have one picture on the wall, and it’s one

of Ly’s newborn photo in sepia with a white frame.
That photo is hung above my dresser, which is

catty-corner to the sliding door that leads to the
back deck. I spent way too much money on luxury
blinds to cover the doors, but they look amazing
and were worth every penny, especially in the
summer, when it’s light most of the time.

I walk back across the room, turn out the

overhead light, and then grab a T-shirt from my
dresser, thinking about Denver as I change. I need
to apologize to him for the way I acted. I don’t
know if I’m ready for what he wants, but I know I
need him in my life, and Ly needs him in hers.
Once I’m sitting cross-legged in the middle of the
bed with the blankets pulled up over my lap, I pick
up my cell and press Call on Denver’s number. It
rings twice before I’m sent to voice mail, and I
hang up without leaving him a message.

Resting my phone in my lap, I close my eyes as

hot tears start to blur my vision. In the four years
Denver has been back in my life, he’s never
ignored my calls, and it kills me a little that he did it
now, even though I know I deserve it. Having no
other choice, I rest my cell on my bedside table,
shut off the lamp, and lie down. I don’t fall asleep
until the sun starts to peek through the closed
blinds, and then I only sleep for about an hour
before Ly comes into my room to wake me up.

_______________

Taking a large gulp from my third cup of coffee, I
watch Ly, who is on her knees in front of the coffee
table, eating a bowl of colorful, sugary cereal while
staring at her iPad. The YouTube channel she’s
watching is one of her favorites. The guy is a total
goof, always dancing and running around some
kids’ play center, checking out toys and showing
how things work. He must be in his early thirties
and is always dressed the same, with an orange and
blue hat, glasses, suspenders, and gray pants he
tucks into his shoes that are also orange and blue.
Watching him, I have to say, even as old as I am,
I’m captivated by how entertaining he is.

“Mommy.” Ly’s voice pulls my attention to her,

and I brace when I see the look in her eyes.
“Where’s Denver?”

Crap, I should have known that question was

coming. Denver has never canceled on her for any
reason, and I’m guessing if that ever did happen,
he’d call to talk to her or stop by when he was able
to do so.

“Like I told you yesterday, baby, he’s working.”
Her head tips to the side and her eyes study me

for a long time, so long I fight the urge to squirm or
look away from her. “Can I call him?”

“Of course,” I whisper, feeling my throat tighten

with anxiety as I pick up my cell. Once I dial
Denver’s number, I hand her the phone then watch
her face fall when he doesn’t answer. With my nails

digging into my palms, I listen to her leave him a
message telling him she misses him.

“He didn’t answer,” she tells me, handing me

back the phone, and I end the call.

“He’ll call you back.” I hope it’s not a lie. I hope

that, for Ly’s sake, the issues between us don’t seep
over into his relationship with her. I pull her onto
my lap and kiss the top of her head. “How about
we get dressed and head to the library for story
time?” I suggest. “We can also return all your
books and check out some new ones while we’re
there.”

“Okay.”
“Okay.” I give her a tight squeeze before placing

her on her feet, murmuring, “Turn off your iPad
and take your bowl to the kitchen, honey.”

With a nod, she does as I asked, and then I take

her upstairs to dress before getting myself ready
while she sits on my bed watching me.

My phone chimes, letting me know I have a

message as I’m buckling Ly in her car seat, so I pull
it out of my back pocket and check the screen.
When I see the message from Denver, my chest
actually aches.

Denver: Tell Lyra I’m working, that I love her,

and I’ll talk to her soon.

I don’t respond to the text. I don’t think he

wants or expects me to. But I do relay his message
to Ly, and when I do, her tiny face scrunches up in

little girl annoyance. “He didn’t call me back.”

“He’s busy, honey,” I say as I tighten the straps

to keep her in place.

“He always calls or comes to see me. He’s never

too busy for me.”

She, of course, has a point, but then again, that

was before her mommy was an idiot. “He’ll call.”

“Promise?”
God, as pissed as I am at myself for acting like I

did, I’m starting to get mad at Denver. If he didn’t
start this mess, Ly wouldn’t be confused and things
would be like they’ve always been.

“Promise.” I kiss her forehead then slam her

door. I climb in behind the wheel of my Suburban
and start the engine. Still feeling pissed, I send
Denver a message without thinking.

Me: This is exactly why I didn’t want to go

there with you. Ly is now seriously disappointed
and confused. I understand you’re pissed at me,
but you shouldn’t let that affect things between
you and her.

After I press Send, I bite my lip, and then my jaw

clenches when I see his immediate reply.

Denver: You don’t want to go there with me,

because you’re a coward. Don’t use Lyra as an
excuse. And I’d never let anything affect my
relationship with her, and you know that shit.

Me: You’re an asshole.
I press Send then wish I didn’t. I don’t want to

fight with him. I don’t want to argue or push him
away anymore than I already have, but that’s
exactly what I’m going to do. Or I think so, until I
see his response.

Denver: An asshole you’re in love with. You

need to come to terms with that, Bre, because like
I said before, you and I are going to find a way to
work this out. By the way, I heard you canceled
your date with Mike. Smart move, baby.

“Oh my God,” I hiss, angrily tossing my phone

into the passenger seat. I’m so furious I actually
want to scream at the top of my lungs and pound
my fist into the dashboard. The only reason I don’t
is because Ly would totally freak out if I did. How
the hell does he know I canceled my date with
Mike? And what the hell is going on with him? I
thought after he dropped me off and didn’t answer
or return my call that he was done. I shouldn’t feel
relieved that he hasn’t given up on me, but I do,
and that just makes me even more pissed.

“Mommy, are we going to go?”
I look over my shoulder, plastering a smile on my

face. “Yep.”

I put the truck in reverse, back out of my spot,

and then drive us to the library, where we spend
some time listening to a story then wandering
around looking for books to check out. After we
leave the library, we stop by the house, and I load
up my canoe and pack us a lunch to eat at the lake.

We spend the rest of the day out on the water
cruising around. When we return home, we watch a
movie, eat some dinner, and after I get Ly
showered and into bed, I go to bed myself.

Two hours later, after tossing and turning, I give

up on sleep and get up. I put on a pair of socks and
grab one of my old sweatshirts, pulling it down over
my head as I walk to the front door with my e-
reader and baby monitor. The night is cool but not
freezing, so I curl up in one of the chairs on the
front porch, tucking my legs under my sweatshirt.
Just as I’m starting to get to the good part in the
story, I feel a presence join me on the porch, and
from the sudden awareness in my body, I know
who it is without looking.

“Why are you here?” I don’t look up as Denver

takes the seat next to mine and stretches his long
legs out, resting his boot-covered feet on the rail.

“I tried to call Lyra. Your phone went to

voicemail,” he replies. Crap, I forgot to charge my
cell when we got home. It died when we were out
on the lake and I didn’t have my backup charger—
something that was seriously stupid to forget.
“Were you ignoring my calls?”

My head flies up and my eyes narrow. “No.

Unlike you, I’ve never ignored your calls. My
phone died when we were out on the lake. When
we got home, I didn’t remember to charge it.”

Something shifts in his expression as his eyes

scan my face. “I wasn’t ignoring your calls, baby. I
was busy. A friend needed my help getting his boat
back in to port after his engine went out. My cell
doesn’t work out there; only my satellite phone
does.”

“Right.” I shake my head before dropping my

eyes back to my book.

“Are you ready to talk to me?”
My eyes go to his once again. “No.”
“Right.” He smirks, and something about that

expression makes me want to both kiss him and
smack him. I curl my hands into fists, and his eyes
drop to my lap, his smirk turning into a smile like he
knows exactly the contradictory thoughts I’m
having.

“Why are you here?” I repeat.
“I think you know that answer.” He wraps his

hand around my wrist. I drop my gaze and watch as
he forces my hand open to lace his fingers with
mine. “We need to talk.”

“We don’t.”
I try to pull away, but he tugs on my hand,

pulling me closer to him. “How did you feel
yesterday when I drove off?” At his softly spoken
question, my body freezes, but my blood starts to
rush hard through my veins, causing a swoosh,
swoosh sound to fill my ears. “You didn’t like it. I
know you didn’t.”

“Let me go.”

“No,” he growls with a shake of my hand, and I

look into his eyes. “You don’t want or need me to
let go. One of us needs to fight for this, Bre, and
until you’re ready to start fighting, that person is
me.”

“Den—”
He cuts me off again as his eyes drop to my

mouth. “Tell me you’ve had a kiss like the one we
shared. Tell me you’ve had that with someone
else.” I swallow as I watch his lips move. If I said
that, it would be a lie. Gabe and I never shared a
kiss like that, ever. “I’ve never had that before,
Bre. I’ve never felt what I feel for you with anyone
else, and I know.” His hand squeezes mine. “I
fucking know, down to my fucking gut, that this…
this is worth fighting for. This is worth everything.”

Tears start to fill my eyes, and I as I drop my

head forward to hide them from him, he stops me,
touching his forehead to mine and keeping our eyes
locked.

“I know you’re scared.”
“Stop,” I whisper, closing my eyes and cutting

him out the only way I can. “This is…. This can’t
happen. I care about you, but we can’t do this. Ly
will suffer, and that isn’t fair to her. She lost Gabe.
She never knew him but misses him. Losing you
would devastate her. She’s attached to you, and….”
I was going to say I can’t risk losing him either, but
I’m not ready to be that honest.

“I love her too. I’m not going anywhere, and I

would never let anything jeopardize my relationship
with her.”

“This is too much too fast.” I close my eyes then

open them when I feel his body start to shake.
Seeing he’s laughing, I frown. “Why are you
laughing?”

“You said this is fast.” He laughs harder,

dropping his face to the crook of my neck and
laughing there loudly.

“This is fast. And I still don’t know why you

think that’s funny.”

He pulls his face from my neck and his

expression sobers instantly. “Four years, Bre. Four
fucking years I’ve been waiting for my shot, and
that time does not fucking include the years before
that.” My breath leaves on a whoosh as he releases
my hand and captures my face between his palms.
“This? This is not fast.”

“It is.”
His gaze roams over my face, and then his eyes

stop to my mouth, my stomach muscles tightening
in anticipation as he shakes his head. “Not fast
enough,” he mumbles, right before he pulls me
forward and places his lips against mine. Just like
the last time he kissed me, he demands for me to
“open.” Unlike the last time, I don’t fight it.

My mouth opens, and when his tongue slides

across mine, I whimper. He still taste like the ocean

and sunshine, but instead of cherries and mint, his
taste is mixed with something richer, like chocolate
and coconut. When he pulls back to nip my bottom
lip, I nip him in return, feeling his chest vibrate as
his deep growl rolls across my tongue. I don’t put
up a fight when he pulls me from my chair and onto
his lap. My body that is already buzzing becomes a
livewire as his hand slides up my outer thigh, over
my hip and the curve of my waist, stopping just
under my breast. I arch into him, wanting to feel his
touch, needing it more than my next breath.

The slide of his thumb across my nipple causes

me to gasp, my core to flood with wet heat, and my
pussy to spasm. I’m so turned on that I roll my hips
into his, and beg “please” against his mouth without
thinking of anything but getting more of his touch.

Without a word, he picks me up and carries me

into the house, his mouth never leaving mine.
Instead of my bedroom, he carries me into the
living room, straight to the couch. As soon as my
back hits the sofa, his weight settles between my
legs and I moan, feeling his thickness through his
jeans. His mouth leaves mine so he can pull my
sweatshirt off, and as soon as it’s over my head, he
tosses it to the floor then looks down at the old T-
shirt I’m wearing.

“Only you can you make an old-ass tee look

hot,” he says, taking my shirt up as his hands slide
against my oversensitive skin.

My head falls back and my eyes close in

embarrassment. I’m probably the only woman over
the age of twenty-five who doesn’t own one sexy
nightie or a cute pair of pajamas. I bet every
woman he’s been with before only ever wore
lingerie to bed when there was even a possibility he
would be around.

“Look at me, baby,” he demands, as both hands

cup my breasts. My eyes fly open and my back
arches, forcing my breast deeper into his palms. “I
want you as you are.” Feeling my heart start to
pound, I wonder if I said what I was thinking earlier
out loud. “I love you just the way you are,” he
states, looking into my eyes.

Before I can react to his declaration, his head

dips and his tongue circles one nipple and he pulls it
deep into his mouth, sucking hard. My head arches
back into the couch while one of his hands moves
down my stomach and under the waistband of my
shorts. His mouth leaves my breast and captures
mine once more as his fingers slide between my
folds.

“So goddamn wet,” he growls into my mouth,

and I moan into his while he rolls his fingers over
my clit. When he thrust two fingers deep inside me,
I gasp from the sudden fullness. He pulls his lips
away and rests his forehead against mine. “Tight, so
fucking tight. Fuck.” He fingers fuck into me
ruthlessly, curving up and hitting just the right spot.

“Keep you’re eyes open and on me.”

I try. I really do. But it’s too much. Him looking

at me, his scent surrounding me, his weight heavy
between my legs, his groans filling my ears. It’s all
too much, way too much. I need to block something
out. My eyes start to slide closed again but then
spring open when he nips my neck hard.

“Open your eyes. Do not take them off mine. I

want to know you see me, that you know it’s my
hand between your legs.” His fingers still, as he
growls, “I want you to see it’s me who’s fingering
you to orgasm.”

His dirty words, his fingers thrusting back into

me harder than before, and his thumb rolling over
my clit sends me over the edge. I come moaning his
name while looking into his eyes. My body spasms,
my muscles bunch, and my breath gets stuck in my
throat as I ride out my orgasm with my eyes locked
with his.

“I knew you’d be beautiful when you came for

me.” His words whisper across my lips, and my
eyes slide closed as he peppers kisses down my jaw.

How the hell did I go from arguing with Denver

on my front porch, to having him make me come
with his hands between my legs on my couch—
giving me the best orgasm of my entire life? My
thighs tighten as he removes his fingers from my
still pulsing core, and I bite my lip to keep from
whimpering at the loss. When his fingers graze my

oversensitive clit, my hips buck and my cheeks heat
with embarrassment. I can’t believe that just
happened. It’s not that I’ve never had an orgasm
before, but I’ve always had to work for every one
I’ve gotten. More often than not, I wouldn’t even
get there, because it just took too long for me to
relax enough to enjoy sex or foreplay. Even after all
the years Gabe and I were together, I was never
able to loosen up enough to get off without a lot of
work on my part.

“Bre.”
“I… I don’t know what just happened,” I

whisper.

“Look at me, Bre.”
“That’s never happened.” I don’t know if I’m

humiliated or shocked by my body’s response to
him.

“What’s never happened?”
“Nothing.” I shake my head, keeping my eyes

closed.

“Bre, look at me.”
“Get off me.”
“No.”
God, why is he so annoying?
“Look at me,” he growls.
My eyes snap open and narrow on him. “Can

you get off me?” I ask angrily, as panic starts to fill
my chest.

“What’s never happened?”

“Nothing.” I try to sit up, but his heavy weight

still between my legs doesn’t give me much room to
move.

“Talk to me.”
“No,” I retort, trying to get away, but it’s like I’m

a mouse trying to push a boulder up a hill. Totally
and utterly pointless.

“What’s never happened?” he repeats, and my

already hard-beating heart starts to pound out of
control. “What’s never happened?”

“I’ve never come that easily,” I snap. “Are you

happy now?” I shove at his chest and buck my hips,
but he doesn’t move, and it takes me a moment to
register that his body has gone still above mine.
Why did I admit that? I turn my head away and
focus on the wall across the room, too embarrassed
to look at him. “Please move off of me.”

“Bre.”
“Please,” I whisper desperately.
He moves, and I instantly scuttle away from him

and sit back against the couch. Tucking my legs up
against my chest, I wrap my arms around my shins,
resting my forehead to my knees as I wonder what
the hell is wrong with me.

“Baby.” His fingers slide through the hair at the

side of my head. “What you just gave me was
beautiful.” Tears fill my eyes and I shake my head.
“So damn beautiful the way you let go for me.” He
forces my head up with his hand under my chin,

and his eyes search mine for a long moment before
he moves away. I expect him to leave, but instead,
he picks me up and settles me sideways on his lap.
“You gotta know it’s not on you that you couldn’t
get there with him.”

Oh my God. My heart sinks as guilt fills my

stomach and crawls up the back of my throat.

“Stop,” I choke out.
“Baby, it’s okay,” he says soothingly, rubbing my

back.

“I loved him,” I implore quietly, feeling

defensive and needing him to know that my
feelings for Gabe were real.

“That’s not in question,” he assures gently,

running his thumb over my cheek.

“We were happy.”
“I know that too,” he agrees instantly, still

talking gently.

God, why is he being so sweet? Why, when I

need him to leave? “He… he was my first
everything.”

His arms around me tighten, his jaw clenches,

and his eyes flash, before he bites out, “Yeah, but
he’s gone.”

That hurt, but not for the reasons it should have.

It hurts, because I hurt him and did it on purpose.
Without another word, he moves me off his lap.
When I’m settled on the couch, he stands then
leans over me, placing his fist in the cushions on

either side of my hips. “I gotta work, so I’m gonna
be gone a couple days.”

Heart sinking, I stare into his eyes, then stutter,

“W-what?”

“I’ll call Lyra tomorrow night before she goes to

bed.”

He leans in, and I think he’s going to place a kiss

to my forehead, but at the last second, he pulls
back. Then he’s gone, and I listen to the door close
behind him. Chin wobbling, tears running down my
cheeks, I stare at the space he just occupied,
wondering why I said the things I did and why the
hell I just let him walk away. Again.

HAPTER

_______________

ENVER

TAKING A PULL FROM THE BEER in my hand,
I stare at the dark water at the edge of my boat.
Bre’s words from earlier tonight keep whispering
through my mind, reminding me what I am for her.

“Fuck,” I hiss into the night, pissed at myself for

being in love with a woman who is still in love with
another man. Jealousy isn’t something I like feeling,
but that emotion has been living inside me for so
long that I’ve become used to it.

Walking to the wheelhouse, I take a seat in my

chair and sigh. I don’t have anywhere to be; I lied
to Bre about that. I just needed to get away from
her before I said something I might regret. I need a
few days to think about what I should do. Not that
it will really fucking matter. I’m starting to see she’s
never going to be mine, that she will always be his,
and as much as I love her, I know I can’t live with
only having a part of her. I’m selfish. I want it all. I

want all her love, all her heart, all her mind, body,
and soul.

“Maybe it’s time to move the fuck on.” I rub my

hand down my face then close my eyes when her
scent that has seeped into my skin fills my nostrils.
I shouldn’t feel smug that he was never able to give
her what I did on her couch, but fuck if I do. And
since I don’t have much else, I’m taking it.

Hearing a knock behind me, I turn in my chair

toward the door then frown when I don’t see
anyone through the small round window that’s
about five and a half feet off the ground. I stand
and swing the door open then look down. It takes a
moment for me to realize what I’m seeing—who
I’m seeing. Bre with her hair down, eyes and face
red from crying, wearing her hoodie and a pair of
jeans. And it’s then I notice a small black duffle bag
over her shoulder.

“What are you doing here?”
“I’m coming with you.” At her quietly spoken

statement, my chest tightens. “I… well… I have a
couple days off work, and Shel and my dad are
going to look after Ly for me.”

I stare at her, and she stares back. Then she

looks away, biting her bottom lip.

“Maybe this was stupi—”
I reach out, wrap my arm around her waist, and

pull her against my chest. Hauling her up my body,
I drop my mouth to hers, cutting off whatever it

was she was going to say. I kiss her hard, my hand
holding my beer behind her head to keep her in
place.

I listen to her bag hit the ground then feel her

hands slide up my chest to wrap around my neck. I
don’t know how long we stand under the stars with
our mouths fused together. It might be minutes or
hours; all I know is, just like every time I’m kissing
or touching her, I lose track of everything but the
feel of her in my arms.

I tug my mouth from hers when she gasps for

breath and tuck her face against my bent neck as I
pull in a lungful of oxygen. “I’m sorry, so sorry,”
she tells me, and my eyes close and my arms
tighten around her. “I—” she starts, but her words
end on a sob as her body bucks hard.

I walk backward into the wheelhouse, taking her

with me. I set down my beer then sit, pulling her
onto my lap. Holding her, I rub my hand down her
back as she cries, the sound of her tears killing me.
“Baby, you gotta calm down,” I say against her ear.

She shakes her head then pulls back, looking me

in the eye. “I hurt you. I did it on purpose. It was
mean. I was mean,” she cries loudly before
dropping her face against my chest, which has
seized up.

“Bre,” I start, having no clue what the fuck I’m

going to say, just knowing I need to say something,
something that will most likely put an end to this.

To us. Not that there’s really been an us to put an
end to. The more I think about it, the more I know I
can’t be with her—not when she’s still in love with
her dead husband.

“I’ve been in love with you since I was a

teenager.” At her confession, my arms spasm
around her before locking tight. “I…. You were
right. I wanted to date Mike, because he doesn’t
scare me, doesn’t make me feel anything. I was
with Gabe, because things with him were
always…” She shakes her head. “They were
always easy. He was my best friend. I never…”

“Baby,” I whisper, closing my eyes.
“I don’t regret my time with him. I just…”
“Bre, please stop,” I beg, cutting her off. “Please

stop.” I thought I wanted this, but I don’t. I can’t
stand seeing her in pain even if that pain is caused
by her admitting to me how she feels.

“You were right. I’ve never felt anything like

what I feel when I’m with you, and…” I listen to
her swallow. “I feel so guilty about it, but it’s the
truth.”

“What are you saying?” I question, pulling back

to look at her beautiful, tearstained face. Her eyes
search mine before they slowly start to close.
“What are you saying?” I repeat, needing to know.
I don’t want to get my hopes up, don’t want to start
thinking she wants what I do, only to have her push
me away again.

“I’m terrified of losing you Denver.”
“Bre—”
“Please.” Her hand cups my jaw. “Please let me

talk.” I nod. “I know you’re going to say it won’t
happen, but I know nothing is impossible.”

“Baby.” That one word is spoken so roughly it

comes out jagged.

“I’m willing to try. I’m willing to take a shot on

us if you’re still willing to give me a chance.”

“Bre—” I try once again, but she cuts me off.
“I won’t say I will never freak and do stupid

crap that will likely piss you off, but I’ll try to do
my part, try to fight for this too.”

“You sure?”
“Yes,” she says quietly, nodding.
“You got a couple days off work?” I ask, and she

nods once more.

“Yeah, I…. But if you don’t want me with you, I

get it.”

“I don’t actually gotta work, but I’ve got fuel

and a stocked fridge. How do you feel about
spending a couple days out on the water with me?”

“You lied?”
“You killed me, baby.” I cup her face, and her

eyes fill with remorse. “I know you were his, but
that doesn’t mean I wanna be reminded he got
something that should’ve been mine all along.”

“What?” she breathes, her fingers twisting in the

front of my shirt.

“I should have been your first, Bre. It should

have been me you shared all your first with.”
Watching her expression change, something I don’t
understand fills her eyes, and I ask, “What?”

“The… the night you invited me to that party, I

saw you with Pamela.”

“Who?”
“Pamela,” she reiterates, and I frown. “She was

in your class. A model. She moved to New York
after graduation.” I stare into her eyes, knowing by
the look she’s giving me that I should know who
she’s talking about, but I don’t. “You were kissing
her. I saw you kissing her through the window at
Lincoln’s house when I was on the back deck with
Gabe.”

“The night you got with Gabe?” I ask quietly, as

memories from years and years ago start to fill my
mind. The night I planned on asking her out. My
friends drunk-yelling for me to join them for shots.
Pam, the annoying chick in my class, wrapping her
arms around my neck, trying to kiss me. Me
shoving her away, going to look for Bre, and finding
out she left holding hands with Gabe, who the next
day was all too fucking happy to spread the news
that she was his. “Fuck me.”

“You remember her?”
“I never fucking kissed her,” I growl.
“I saw you,” she whispers, scanning my face.
“No, you saw her trying to kiss me. You

obviously missed me shoving her away.”

“What?”
“Fuck me. What the fuck?”
“I… I saw you.”
“No, you didn’t.”
“But—”
“Gabe asked you out that night.”
“I—”
“You saw that shit, thought whatever the fuck

you were thinking, and then Gabe asked you out.” I
squeeze my eyes closed and jerk my fingers
through my hair. “What the actual fuck?”

“Denver.”
“Fuck… I was planning on making you mine that

night. I planned—”

“Please stop,” she whimpers, cutting me off,

wrapping her arms around me, and resting her head
against my chest. “Please.”

“You were supposed to be mine.” I bury my face

in her neck, overwhelmed with the emotions
coursing through me. “You were supposed to be
mine.”

“I’m so sorry. I—”
“Don’t,” I growl, interrupting her and pulling

back to look into her eyes. “Without him and your
past, there wouldn’t be a Lyra, and I don’t want to
think about that.” Tears fill her eyes and start to
fall. “No more tears.” I hold her face and kiss her
cheeks then each of her eyelids. Only when her

tears die down do I pull back. “I’m gonna get us
ready to head out. You wanna sit up here, or you
wanna head downstairs?”

“Where are we going?”
“No idea.” I smile. “We’ll figure it out when we

get there.”

“Okay.”
“Okay.” I kiss her again, because I can, and then

order, “Hop off, baby. I’ll take your bag down then
get us out of here.”

She nods then slides off my lap. I watch her take

a seat in my chair, and then I go get us ready to
leave port. I go back to the wheelhouse once I have
us ready to go and keep her in my lap as I drive the
boat into the secluded inlet I have been to a few
times fishing.

I drop anchor once I find a good spot and then

go downstairs to pull out two of the sleeping bags I
keep in the closet. Once I take them with me back
up to the deck, I drop them before going to grab
Bre. When I open the door to the wheelhouse, her
eyes come to me, and as I hold out my hand to her,
she takes it.

“What are you doing?” she asks, watching me

unzip both bags before zipping them together.

“Just trust me.” I lay the sleeping bag out then

pull her hoodie up over her head. “Get in,” I order,
and she looks at the bag then me before lying down
without a word. I climb in next to her and zip us in,

pulling her against me.

She slides her arm over my waist, tucking her

head against my shoulder and chest. “Do you know
much about the constellations?” she asks.

I dip my head to look down at her and find her

eyes on me. “Some.”

“Did I ever tell you how I came up with Lyra’s

name?” she questions, dropping her chin to my
chest.

“No,” I answer softly, holding her gaze.
“Lyra is basically a harp. Orpheus in Greek

mythology played one. Orpheus married Eurydice,
and he loved her, really loved her. One day, she was
bitten by a poisonous snake and died.” She leans
back to look up at the stars. “Orpheus was so
distraught by her death that he went into the
underworld in an attempt to get her back. When he
was there, he charmed the gods with the music he
played and they granted him his wish of reuniting
with his wife—with one condition. He wasn’t
allowed to look at her until they left the
underworld.”

“Did he resist looking at her?”
I feel her shake her head, and her voice is softer

as she continues. “He wasn’t able to. He turned to
check on her, to make sure she was following
before they got back to earth. When he did, she
descended back to the underworld, and he was
forced to leave without her.”

“What’d he do?”
“He killed himself to be with her, and when he

died, his Lyra was placed in the stars by Zeus.”

“Fuck,” I hiss, feeling my chest tighten. “You’re

still in love with him.”

“What?” she asks, and I look down at her, seeing

her brows draw together.

“You’re still in love with him.”
“In love with who?” she asks, sounding

confused.

“Gabe.”
Her eyes soften and her face comes closer to

mine. “I love him.” She moves her hand up,
cupping my jaw. “I will always love him, but I’m
not in love with him, Denver. He’s not here. He
hasn’t been here for a long time and he’s not
coming back.” She looks away for a moment. “I
named her Lyra, because I thought the way
Orpheus loved Eurydice was beautiful, and because
from the moment I found out I was pregnant with
her, I knew I would do everything within my power
to keep her with me, to keep her safe, and to
always protect her.” She rests her head on my
shoulder once more. “You know my mom’s and my
relationship isn’t good. I never want to be like her,
and I never want Ly to feel like I feel to this day.”

“What do you mean?” I prompt. I know all about

her mom. I know she’s hurt both of her kids by not
being around, but Bre has never spoken to me

about her relationship with her mother.

“I don’t know if my mom loves me. She’s never

really shown me she does. I mean, I’m sure she
does in her own way, but it’s not enough.”

“You’re nothing like your mom, baby.”
“I know, but I don’t want to be like her ever.

One thing that worries me….” Her words taper off
and her body fills with tension.

“One thing that worries you?” I question softly,

looking down at her and seeing her eyes close. “Tell
me.”

Her eyes open to meet mine. “One of the reasons

I’ve been trying to stay away from you, is because I
worry I’ll get so wrapped up in you that I’ll neglect
Ly the way my mom has neglected me when she
finds a man. And that scares me.”

“That would never happen.” I place my thumb

over her lips when she starts to open her mouth.
“And before you say I don’t know it won’t, I do.
I’ve never seen a mom more devoted to a child
than you are to her. Yes, I want all of you, every
part of you, but with you comes Lyra. I want us to
build on what we already have. I want to be a
family. I want the three of us to be a family. Lyra is
important to me. I love her like she’s my own.
Since the first time I held her in my arms, I’ve
wanted to take care of her and protect her. That
isn’t going to change for me, and I know that will
never change for you either.”

“You want us to be a family,” she whispers, and I

pull her closer.

“I know it’s going to scare you, but I want it all,

Bre. I want one day—not tomorrow or the next day
—to make you my wife. I want to give Lyra a
brother or sister. I want to spend the rest of my life
with you, making you happy.”

“I hate to say this again, but this is all kinda

fast.”

I smile at that and smooth my fingers down her

cheek. “We have time, but it’s not fast. Think about
the last few years. Think about your feelings for me
and my feelings for you. I’ve known what I’ve
wanted for a long time. I’ve just been waiting for
you to be ready for what I want.”

“And you’re sure about this?”
“Baby, I haven’t been with anyone, even

attempted to be with anyone, since the night Gabe
called me.”

“What? But I thought—”
“No one,” I cut her off. “My parents know. Your

family knows. Hell, everyone in town probably
knows it’s you and only you for me.”

“I think I’m going to cry.” Tears start to fill her

eyes, so I tuck her face against my chest.

“There is nothing to cry about, but like I said,

I’ve known it’s you for me. I know you think this is
fast, but I’m telling you I don’t think it’s fast
enough.” I kiss the top of her head and close my

eyes, relishing the feeling of having her in my arms,
right where she was meant to be.

HAPTER

_______________

UBREY

WITH A SENSE OF DÉJÀ VU I wake up to the
smell of the ocean, the sound of waves lapping
against the side of the boat, and the feel of the rise
and fall of the chest under mine. Unlike the last
time I woke up in this exact position, I feel nothing
but contentment.

I open my eyes slowly, and the column of

Denver’s throat comes into view. The urge to touch
my tongue to his neck hits me hard, but I fight
against it and look around. I don’t remember
coming down to his bed last night. He must have
somehow carried me downstairs after I fell asleep
while talking to him. I close my eyes and press my
nose into his chest, pulling in his scent that is a
mixture of salty sea air and some kind of deep
woodsy musk. He smells amazing, and being
pressed against him while he’s sleeping, with his
arms tight around me, feels like I’m waking in a

dream. The kind of dream I gave up on years and
years ago, long before Gabe was ever in my life.

I bite my bottom lip when my stomach starts to

fill with unexpected tension. I silently remind
myself it’s okay to be happy and that I promised
Denver last night that I would fight for us, and I
will. When he walked out of my house, leaving me
on the couch, I knew he wouldn’t be back again. I
knew I had finally succeeded in pushing him away
for good. I tried to convince myself for about five
seconds that was what I wanted, but the pain I felt
weighing down on my chest was worse than the
pain I felt when I lost Gabe.

Before I knew what I was doing, I called Shel.

When she heard me sob into the phone, not saying
anything, she hung up and came right over. As soon
as she walked through the front door, I ran right to
her and cried in her arms. I told her through my
tears what happened—well, most of it anyway. I
left out the whole him giving me the best orgasm of
my life part, but I did tell her about hurting him on
purpose and him leaving. I also told her that I knew
he wouldn’t be back again. When I told her that,
she told me what I already knew, that I had to go
after him, that I had to find a way to make things
right.

She shoved me toward my bedroom, telling me

to pack a bag while she called Joe to see if Denver
had told her where he was heading. Joe didn’t

know anything about his plans to leave port, but
she did tell Shel that he hadn’t told her he was
leaving, and he always told her. Which meant I had
a chance to catch him before he was gone.

When Shel hung up the phone with Joe, she

called Lulu to tell her I wouldn’t be in to work on
Monday. I don’t know what she said to Lulu when
she called, but I do know the nosy woman will
probably have a million and one questions for me
when I come back to work. She will also likely yell
“I told you so.” After Shel got off the phone with
Lulu and I was packed, she called my dad and told
him I needed a ride to the harbor. Surprisingly, my
dad didn’t ask any questions as he drove me, but he
did tell me that all he ever wanted was for me to be
happy, as I hopped out of the cab of his truck.

“What are you thinking about?” Denver’s

roughly spoken question pulls me from my
thoughts, and I tip my head back to look into his
sleepy eyes. I would never think it was possible for
him to look hotter than his normal hot, but his
warm, sleepy eyes and his hair a rumpled mess
proves me wrong.

“Nothing.” I rest my temple against his chest and

his arms tighten further.

“Not thinking about running, are you?” he asks,

and I shake my head no. “Good, especially since
we’re in the middle of nowhere and there is
nowhere for you to run to.” He smooth’s a hand

down the back of my head, then I feel his lips at the
top of my hair as a smile curves my lips. “Hungry?”

“A little,” I answer quietly. I’m actually starving,

but I’d rather go without food than move from
where I am right now.

“I need to go up and check things out, but after

that, I’ll get us something to eat and set you up with
the satellite phone so you can call Lyra.”

Tears suddenly fill my eyes, and I feel like an

idiot for not trusting him all along. “Thank you.”

His fingertips curve around my jaw and he pulls

up gently. When our eyes meet, his expression
softens. “Let’s get up so you can call our girl.”

“Sure,” I agree, but I don’t move and neither

does he. We both just stare at each other for a long
moment. I don’t know who leans in first, but our
lips touch and our mouths open. The kiss is soft and
seeking, slow and sensual. When he rolls me to my
back and pulls his mouth from mine, my eyes
flutter open. I find him looming over me, searching
my gaze. I’m not sure what he’s looking for, but
when his forehead drops to rest softly on mine, I
know he found it. “Mine. Fuck. Finally, all mine.”

My lips part and Yours! screams in my mind as

his mouth covers mine again. I’m not sure how long
we lie in bed making out, but when he finally pulls
his mouth from mine with a groan, we are both
breathing heavily and my stomach is loudly roaring
for me to feed it. “I might have lied about being

only a little hungry,” I admit when my stomach
growls again.

Laughing loudly, he gets off the bed then pulls

me up to stand in front of him. “You take the
bathroom first.” He nods to the small door at the
back of the cabin. “If I’m not down here when you
get out, come up top.”

“Okay.”
“Okay.” He tucks a piece of hair behind my ear

then leans down, kissing my forehead. When I open
my eyes that I didn’t know were closed, he’s gone.
With a deep breath, I go to my bag, grab my
toothbrush, and take it with me to the bathroom. I
brush my teeth and wash my face then go back to
my bag to change out of my jeans and into a pair of
leggings and a long-sleeved top with a scoop neck
and a hood. I brush my hair and put it up into a bun
then head upstairs.

Denver is in the wheelhouse when I make it up

to the top deck, so I head straight to him. When he
sees me, he smiles softly through the glass and calls
me in with a wave of his hand. I step inside, and as
soon as I’m within touching distance, he pulls me
down onto his lap. I sit and listen to him talk on the
CB radio about fish and the tide, and I lose interest
after that, because his fingers slide under the edge
of my shirt and skim over my skin, causing goose
bumps. When his lips touch my neck, my breath
stutters and I moan, dropping my head to the side

to give his mouth more access.

I turn to look over my shoulder at him when he

pulls his mouth away, and as my eyes connect with
him, I see he’s smiling. I’ve seen him smile a lot,
but I’ve never seen him smile like he is right now.
Happy, content, like he’s right where he wants to
be.

I lose his smile when the microphone covers his

mouth and he presses his thumb down on the
button on the side to talk. “Walt, I gotta go. Good
luck out there today. Stay safe, brother.” He puts
the mic back into its holder then wraps his hand
around the back of my neck, pulling my face closer
to his. “What is it?”

“I…. You’re happy,” I blurt like a total idiot, and

his head jerks back.

“What?”
“I mean, you… you just seem really happy.”
“You’re here with me,” he states, like having me

with him means everything. My chin wobbles. He
really does love me. What the hell is wrong with
me? Why did I never notice what was happening
between us until now? “You okay?”

“No. I think I might cry again,” I answer

truthfully, and his eyes soften. “I… I don’t know
why I didn’t notice this thing between us before
now.”

“You weren’t ready,” he says, and my eyes slide

over his shoulder to the view of the ocean, and the

land and trees just beyond that. “Look at me,
baby.” I slowly meet his gaze once more. “It’s time
to move forward.” I nod, and he leans in, brushing
his lips across mine. “Come on.” He helps me off
his lap. “Lets go eat, and then call Lyra.”

“Please tell me you have coffee,” I say, as we

head down the steps, him in front of me.

“I have coffee.” He winks at me over his

shoulder.

When we reach downstairs, he shows me where

the stuff is to make a pot of coffee then heads into
the bathroom, where I hear the faucet turn on. With
the coffee brewing, I make the bed then repack my
bag and tuck it away for something to do. Plus,
with how small the space is, it seems even smaller
with things left out and about.

When Denver comes out, he gives me a quick

kiss then hands me a cup of coffee and the phone
that is already ringing when I put it to my ear.

“Hello,” Shel answers on the second ring.
“Hey, Shel. Is Ly awake yet?” I ask, watching

Denver spray a bowl with cooking spray then beat
two eggs in it before placing them in the
microwave.

“Yep, she just sat down to eat breakfast. You

okay?”

My stomach flutters as Denver smiles at me, and

I whisper, “Totally.”

“So you two worked things out?” she asks,

sounding hopeful. God I love her.

“Yeah, we’re good.”
“Good.” I hear relief in her voice. “Hold on.

Here’s Lyra. Love you, honey.”

“Love you too.”
“Mommy.”
“Hey, baby, you okay?”
“Grandpa gave me cake for breakfast,” she

answers, and I hear my dad say in the background
that it was supposed to be a secret. I listen to her
giggle.

“I miss you.”
“Grandma said you’re with Denver on his boat.”
“I am,” I concur.
“I want to go on his boat.”
“Soon, baby.”
“Can I talk to him?”
“Sure,” I laugh. “Hold on. I love you.”
“Love you too, Mama.”
“Ly wants to talk to you.” I hold out the phone.
“Hey, gorgeous.” He winks at me as he puts the

phone to his ear. “Miss you more.” He laughs as he
shakes his head. “Promise. Me, you, and your
Mama will all come out on the boat for a night
sometime this summer. Right.” He shakes his head
again, and then his face softens along with his
voice. “Love you too. I’ll talk to you soon.” He
hands me back the phone.

“I miss you, baby,” I say again when I put the

phone back to my ear.

“She already ran off to go play,” Shel says, and I

smile. Figures I’m already forgotten about.

“Kiss and hug her for me.
“Will do. Have fun.”
“I will. And Shel?” I call before she can hang up.
“Yeah, honey?”
“Thank you… again, for everything.”
“Anytime, sweetheart. You know that.” I do,

which means I’m lucky. I might have gotten the
short end of the stick where my mom is concerned,
but Shel is the best stepmom a girl could ask for.
“Love you. Talk to you soon.”

“Soon.” I hang up then watch Denver smear

mayo on the bread he just popped out of the
toaster, dump the microwaved eggs on the toast,
and then add a slice of cheese. “Eat.” He hands me
the egg sandwich wrapped in a paper towel. I never
would have thought eggs cooked in the microwave
could taste good, but when I take a bite from the
sandwich, I find they are actually fluffy and
surprisingly delicious. “Good?” he asks, making his
own sandwich.

I chew then swallow before I answer. “Yes, very.

Who knew eggs cooked in a microwave could be so
awesome.”

“Fisherman’s breakfast.” He grins. “When we’re

out here for days, we gotta find ways to eat. This is
one of the things I came up with. Took me ages to

figure out that I needed to spray the bowl with
cooking spray before mixing the eggs to keep them
from sticking, but after that, I was set.”

“Good to know.” I smile as he sits down next to

me on the bed to eat his own sandwich. “So what
are we going to do today?” I ask between bites.

“This,” he answers, gesturing to me with a flick

of his fingers.

“This?”
“Just this. All I’ve ever wanted is you and me to

spend time together.”

God, if he keeps saying things like that, I’m

going to keep crying like the girls in the sappy
romance movies Shel loves to watch. “Sounds
good.” I swallow over the lump in my throat.

“You gonna cry?”
“No,” I lie.
He grins, leaning in and kissing my temple before

looking into my eyes. “You’re eyes look a little
wet.”

“Whatever.” I roll my eyes to the ceiling and

fight back a smile as he starts to laugh.

“I’ve got my laptop and some movies. We can

lay in bed and watch something. Then later, we can
go up and see if we can catch something for
dinner.”

“Really?”
“Yeah.” He stands then walks across the small

space to a cupboard, opening it up. He pulls out a

CD folder, handing it to me, and I scan through
about a hundred different movies, a few scary, most
of them action. I settle on one of the scarier ones
then curl up next to Denver in bed, my head on his
chest. We half watch the movie between making
out, and when we head up to see about catching
dinner, I know he was right. Even though I miss my
baby like crazy, just him and me spending time
together is a pretty perfect way to spend the day.

HAPTER

_______________

ENVER

IN THE WHEELHOUSE WITH BRE on my lap,
we sit in silence, staring out at the ocean. I don’t
know what she’s thinking about, but I’m thinking
these last couple days have been fucking perfect
and are coming to an end way too fucking quickly.

“You ready to head back to town tomorrow

morning?”

Her question causes my fingers that are running

through her hair to pause, and I pull in a breath. I’m
not ready to head back to town. I wish we could
stay out here forever, and if Lyra were here with
us, I’d make it happen, at least for a few more days.
But just like Bre, I miss our girl, and unfortunately,
I need to get back to town so I can get ready for the
next opener.

“No,” I answer, and she looks at me over her

shoulder. “Are you ready?”“I miss Ly like crazy,
but this has been nice. I like spending time with you

out here. I wish we had a little longer.” She rests
her head back on my shoulder and wraps her arms
around my waist.

“Like I told Ly, we’ll bring her out this summer

for a night, and if we can get away, you and I can
come back out again just the two of us.”

“I’d like that,” she agrees, letting out a long

breath. “When we get back, I have to talk to
Gabe’s parents.”

“About what?” I ask, hearing the tension in her

voice.

“When they came over to the house for Ly’s

birthday, they asked me if they could take her away
with them for a couple weeks this summer to visit
Gabe’s grandmother in the lower forty-eight. I
guess she isn’t doing so well, and they want Ly to
have a chance to meet her before it’s too late.”

“Are you letting them take her?” I question, my

gut tightening at the idea of Lyra being forced on a
trip with two people she doesn’t really know. Yes, I
know they’re her grandparents, but my mom and
dad have spent more time with Lyra since she was
born than they have.

“No, that’s what I need to talk to them about,

and I know they’re not going to be happy with me
when I give them my answer.”

“They’ll understand,” I say quietly, running my

hand down her back.

“They won’t, but I don’t like the idea of being

away from Ly for two weeks. And I really don’t
like the idea of her being alone with them for two
weeks in a state so far away it’d take me at least a
day to get to her if something happened.”

“Do you think they’d hurt her?”
“No, not at all. But they aren’t like normal

parents.” She tips her head back to look at me.
“They even make my mom look like Mother of the
Year, and you know my mom is totally not that.”
She frowns. “They don’t even hug.”

“Pardon?”
“They don’t hug or touch. They don’t show any

kind of affection at all. And Ly is used to that; she’s
use to hugs and kisses and being tucked in at night
and cuddled in the morning when she first wakes
up.” I know that, since I’ve given her all that since
the day she was born. “A part of me—the part of
me that loved their son and feels guilty that Ly will
never really know him—wants to let them take her.
But if I did, I know Ly would be freaked out by
them after the first night.”

“You have nothing to feel guilty about,” I state

forcefully, and her eyes meet mine once more.
“You were married to their son, not to them.
They’ve had a chance to play a role in Lyra’s life,
and they chose what role they wanted to play. You
have given them every opportunity to be around,
but they haven’t really taken it.”

“I know that, but—”

“No.” I shake my head, cupping her cheek. “No

buts. I haven’t been around them much, but at
Lyra’s party, they didn’t spend much time with her.
They didn’t try to talk to the other people in their
granddaughter’s life to see who was around her and
what role everyone played. They came and stood in
the corner and kept to themselves. That’s them, and
I get that, but how they are is not on you, and even
if Gabe were alive, that would still be the truth.
Them even asking you to take Lyra away from you
and the rest of her family for two weeks to spend
time with them and other people she doesn’t know
just shows they don’t care how that could affect
her. If she were older, I might be a little more
understanding, but she’s only four years old. She
wouldn’t get it, and she’d likely be traumatized by
the situation. Not fucking happening.” When I
finish speaking, I see that her lips are parted in awe.

“You love her.”
“You know I do.”
“No.” She shakes her head. “I mean, you really

love her. You love her like I love her.”

Understanding fills my chest, and I slide my

fingers across her cheek while dipping my face
closer to hers. “Baby, the moment I held her in my
arms, I fell in love with her. I knew then that I’d do
everything within my power to protect her. She’s
not my blood, but she’s a part of my heart all the
same. I love her down to my marrow, like she’s my

own.”

“She loves you,” she states firmly.
“I know she does, and I will forever cherish that.

It’s a gift I don’t take for granted.”

“You’re going to make me cry again,” she

whispers, as tears fill her eyes. I know I shouldn’t
laugh, but I can’t help it. “It’s not funny.” She
smacks my chest when my body starts to shake.
“You’re turning me into a giant baby.”

“You’re not a baby. You’ve just got a lot going

on.”

“I’m going to keep telling myself that, so I don’t

feel like a dork for crying every five minutes when
I’m around you.”

“You think you can hold off on the crying

business while we figure out dinner?”

“Maybe.” She shrugs pouting her bottom lip out.

“What are we having?”

“I think I have a couple salmon steaks in the

fridge. I also have more of that salad you liked.”

“The potato one with the peas and bacon?” she

asks hopefully.

“Yeah.” “Maybe I can hold off crying for that,”

she mummers, and I kiss her smiling lips before
helping her off my lap. “Can we eat up here and
watch the sunset?”

“If that’s what you want.” I follow her

downstairs and we make dinner together, using the
hotplate I have and the microwave to heat up some

creamed corn. When dinner’s done, we take our
plates up to the deck and eat looking out at the
ocean. The sun has set, but because it’s summer, it
won’t fully disappear; the sky won’t go completely
black. It’s a beautiful night. The water is calm and
the air is warm. When we’re finished eating, I take
our empty plates back down to the kitchen, leaving
them in the small sink before I grab the sleeping
bags from the closet.

“Oh my God!” I hear Bre scream, and I drop the

sleeping bags in my hand and take the steps two at
a time to the top deck. As soon as I shove through
the door, I scan the deck. When I see Bre bent over
the side of the boat, half hanging over, the tips of
her toes barely on the wood deck, my heart feels
like it’s going to pound out of my chest.

“What the fuck are you doing?” She bolts

upright, turns toward me with her eyes wide, and
places her finger to her lips. What the fuck?

“Come here,” she whispers, waving her hand

back and forth franticly. I start toward her then stop
when I hear a hiss and see mist shoot up into the air
just off the edge of the boat. “Whales! There are
two orcas.” She jumps up and down, her eyes filling
with excitement. “Be quiet. I don’t want to scare
them off.” She turns back around, leaning over the
edge of the boat once more. I step close to her,
wrapping my hand around her waist to keep her
steady, and look into the water just as shimmering

black and white skims the surface. “I’ve never seen
one this close,” Bre murmurs, as she reaches out
her hand like she’ll be able to touch the orca slowly
disappearing back down into the darkness of the
cold water. “I think it’s a mom. There’s a smaller
one with her.”

She looks around then points. “Oh my God,

there he is. Look!” Sure enough, a few feet away,
both the mother and her calf come to the surface,
blowing and causing a hiss to fill the air. “Holy
cow.” She presses her front to mine, wrapping her
arms around my waist, and I look down at the top
of her head. “You know”—she looks up at me
—“this is good luck.”

“What?”
“It’s supposed to be a good omen when you see

an orca whale, and we just saw two.” She smiles up
at me then turns her head as another hiss comes
from farther away.

“It’s an entire pod,” I say, watching the mom and

her calf swim toward the three other large whales
that are off in the distance.

“I wish I had my cell phone on me or a camera

so I could take some pictures.”

“I’ve got a camera in the wheelhouse.” I let her

go of her to grab it. When I come back, I hand her
the small, black digital camera then watch her take
about two-hundred photos of the whales as they
swim back and forth, probably hunting for food.

“Ly would love this,” she tells me, as I wrap my

arms around her middle and look over her shoulder.
“I wish she were here.” She holds up a picture she
took for me to see before going back to clicking
through the photos she just snapped.

“Next time.” I kiss her neck, feeling her shiver.

“Cold?”

“No,” she breathes.
“Mmm.” I nip her neck and smile when she

trembles again, and then feel my cock twitch when
she presses her ass back into me.

Moving my hands up under her shirt, my fingers

graze her stomach before dipping under the
waistband of her leggings to slide back and forth
just above her pubic bone.

“Denver.”
“Right here, baby.”
“Please touch me,” she whispers. Fuck, since we

stepped on the boat, we’ve made out a lot, touched
a lot, but I’ve kept myself in check, not wanting to
rush things. But hearing the plea in her voice, I
know I won’t be able to deny her. “Please. Please
touch me.”

My cock, now hard, presses painfully against the

zipper of my jeans as my fingers slide down
between her legs, finding her hot and already
soaked.

“Open your legs for me,” I growl into her ear.

Her head falls back against my shoulder and a quiet

moan leaves her mouth while her legs spread
farther apart. I dip two fingers inside her wet heat
before moving them up to circle her clit, and I bite
back a groan as she starts to grind her hips. “I want
to taste you.”

“Wh-what?” she pants, her eyes half-mast,

meeting mine when she turns her head to look at
me.

“I want my mouth on you, between your legs. I

want to taste you.” I stop circling when I see desire
and worry fill her gaze. Fuck, seeing that look, I
know she’s never experienced that before. Instead
of saying something that will likely freak her the
fuck out, I kiss her, thrusting my tongue between
her lips while my fingers go back to work on her
clit. Christ, she’s so fucking responsive, so fucking
hot, wet, and tight. I know the minute I feel that
heat and tightness around my cock I’m going to be
done.

“Denver.” My name leaves her mouth on a plea

as I thrust two fingers deep and use my thumb to
circle her clit. The walls of her pussy start to spasm
around my fingers as she comes, and I hear the
camera that was in her hand hit the deck as she
loses her hold on it. I listen to her shout my name,
and then watch as her orgasm washes over her.
Beautiful. But fuck I want that beauty on my
tongue. I want to taste it. I want her to know how
good she tastes to me as I spread her out and eat

her until I’m full and she’s satisfied.

“You think you can make it down the steps?”
“I don’t know,” she pants, her legs shaking as I

pull my fingers from her slowly.

“Right.” I turn her in my arms and pick her up.

Her legs circle my hips and her mouth drops to
mine. I stop to kiss her then pull back before I’m
too far gone and fuck her on the deck. “Took me a
year to make it down the steps with you asleep the
other night, baby. Stairway’s narrow as fuck. I was
worried I’d crash your head into the wall. Let me
get us downstairs.”

“Okay.” She tucks her face into my neck and I

groan when she starts to nibble my throat.

I carefully maneuver the stairs, and when I reach

the bottom, I don’t hesitate to place her on the bed.
“Lift your hips, baby,” I order, after I slip off her
shoes and have my fingers curled around the
waistband of her black leggings. She raises her hips,
and I tug her pants off along with her panties.

I don’t waver; once she’s bare from the waist

down, I spread her open and bury my face between
her legs. I swipe my tongue through her folds and
know that I’ve never tasted anything sweeter in my
life. I hold her open and go at her ruthlessly using
my teeth, my tongue, and my fingers to bring her to
the brink of orgasm before easing off then building
her back up again.

When her fingers tighten in my hair and her hips

lift up high off the bed, I know she’s done waiting. I
thrust one, two, then three fingers inside of her,
feeling her walls start to tighten while she grinds
herself against my mouth. I suck her clit and tap her
G-spot, my cock jerks and leaks as she comes,
shouting my name. I ease my fingers from her still
pulsing pussy and wipe my face on her inner thigh.

“I need you,” she pants, lifting up on her elbows.
“Shirt off,” I growl, and she sits up, tugging her

shirt over her head, leaving her naked before me.
Part of me is tempted to dive right back between
her legs, but I don’t. My cock is throbbing. I kick
off my boots, tug off my jeans and boxers, and then
rip my thermal off over my head. Tossing my shirt
aside, I climb on the bed and move between her
legs, groaning when my cock brushes against her
wetness.

“Denver.” She circles me with her arms and legs

and tips her head back, offering me her mouth.

I kiss her, wrapping one hand around my length

and the other around her hip to hold her in place. I
slide the head of my cock up and down her slit and
groan. “Fuck.” My head drops forward, reality
kicking in. “Condom. I don’t have a fucking
condom.”

“What?” She writhes under me while her legs

lock tight around my hips, like she’s afraid I’m
going to pull away. I am going to pull away; fuck, I
don’t have a goddamn condom.

“No, I’m covered. Please. Please, I don’t want

anything between us.” Her nails dig into my back
and her eyes lock with mine. “Please.”

“Fuck.” I slide inside her, not slow, not taking

my time like I should. I slam into her hard,
watching her eyes flare and her head jerk back
while her lips part. Fuck, my balls draw tight and
my teeth grind together. I’ve never felt anything
like what I’m feeling right now with her wrapped
around me, and it’s taking everything in me not to
pull out and slam back inside her again. “You
okay?”

“God, yes.” Her soft hands move up my chest to

curl around my neck then she lifts her head, placing
her mouth against mine. “Please move, Denver.”

I don’t move. I try to memorize this moment, the

taste of her still on my tongue, the smell of her skin,
the feel of her wet and tight around me, the look in
her eyes. “I love you.” The words come out
without me thinking. It’s not the first time I’ve told
her I love her, but there is something about saying it
right now that seems different, significant.

Her face softens and her hand cups my jaw. “I

love you too. I always have.”

“Fuck.” I take her mouth then pull out and slide

slowly back inside her. Perfect, so fucking perfect,
like everything about her. I know her pussy was
made just for me. I lift my head, pulling my mouth
from hers, and watch our connection. “Touch

yourself, Bre,” I order, and she hesitantly slides her
hands down my chest and stomach before her
fingers glide lightly over her clit. “Touch yourself,
baby.” Her fingers pick up their pace and her eyes
fall closed as her pussy start to spasms.

“Oh my God,” she hisses, her fingers spreading

out to feel our connection as I start to thrust into
her over and over. “I… God, this is… this is
everything.” She’s right; this is everything—her,
me, the connection we share, the love we have for
each other, the life I’m going to build with her. This
is everything. “Don’t stop. Please, don’t stop.”

“Never.” I keep at her, taking her deep and

fucking her hard. Even when her eyes open to meet
mine, her loud moans start to fill the quiet, and her
pussy begins to pulse around my cock, I don’t stop.
I keep thrusting into her, taking her hard and deep,
wanting to bury myself so far inside her she will
never be able to get rid of me. I know the exact
moment her orgasm hits, and when it does, I feel
my balls draw tight and my muscles bunch. I thrust
one last time and come deep inside her, with my
mouth on hers and her legs and arms tight around
me.

“Waited years,” I rasp against her lips. “Fucking

years to feel you, all of you.”

“Denver.”
“I would have waited forever for you, Bre.” I

pull my face back to look into her beautiful eyes

and lift my hand to skim my fingers down her soft
cheek. “I’d never regret it, not for one second. I’d
wait forever for you, as long as I knew I’d feel
what I’m feeling right now, to know you’re mine in
every way there is to be.” I watch her eyes fill with
tears then feel my own become wet when I see the
look in her glistening irises. She pulls me down to
bury her face in my neck, and I hold her close as a
sob rips from her chest.

Fuck yes, I’d have waited a lifetime, as long as I

knew in the end I’d have this, that in the end we’d
have each other.

HAPTER

_______________

UBREY

PRESSED TO DENVER’S SIDE WITH my thigh
over his and my arm over his abs, I try with all my
might to fall asleep. I can’t. No matter what I do, I
can’t seem to get my brain to shut off. It’s not like
I’m not tired, because I am. My body is exhausted;
every muscle is achy in a really good way, but even
after two rounds of sex and receiving five really
great orgasms, my stupid brain won’t quiet down
long enough for me to get some rest.

Not wanting to wake Denver with my

restlessness, I carefully crawl off the bed and grab
his long-sleeved thermal from the floor. I pull it on
over my head, letting it drop to almost my knees
before I head up the stairs to the top deck. It’s cold,
a lot colder than it was earlier when we were out
here. I wrap my arms around my middle as I shuffle
to the side of the boat. I stare at the stars and the
ocean, trying to let the quiet fill me with peace. I’m

not sure what is keeping me awake. Maybe it’s the
amazing sex and orgasms. Maybe it’s knowing that
my time alone with Denver and the bubble we’ve
created out here are coming to an end. Or maybe
it’s just me coming to the realization of something
that is unbelievably sad. I squeeze my eyes closed
as that understanding fully penetrates. If I didn’t
lose Gabe, I don’t know that I would have what I
have right now—the chance at happiness with the
man I have been in love with since I was a kid. The
man who has been in love with me for just as long.

“I loved you,” I whisper into the cold without

thinking. “I loved you. Please don’t for one
moment think I didn’t. This is just…” I drag in a
shaky breath. “This is more. This is everything.”

I jump when arms circle my waist from behind,

and I pull in a sharp, startled breath.

“You okay?” Hearing the concern in Denver’s

voice, my eyes slide open, seeing the stars that are
above us reflecting off the water.

“Yeah.”
“Couldn’t sleep?” he asks, nuzzling my neck.
“No,” I answer, placing my hands over his.
“What’s on your mind?”
“Gabe,” I answer, feeling his muscles bunch and

his body start to pull away from mine. I don’t let
him go. I wrap my arms tighter around his and hold
on.

“Bre—”

“He spent a lot of time outside under the night

sky after we found out what was wrong with him,”
I start, and his arms tighten painfully, making it
hard for me to pull in a breath, but I fight through
it. “He’d sit in his chair on the deck with his head
tipped back, staring at the stars.” My eyes close
briefly at the memory. “Once, I asked him what he
was looking for, and he told me he was waiting on
shooting stars.” My vision goes blurry. “When he’d
see one, he’d never make a wish to get better.” My
throat starts to tighten. “All his wishes were for
me.” I swallow over the lump, breathe through it,
and continue, “He was my best friend. He was
good to me. We were happy. I don’t regret the life
we had together, but I…”

“Don’t,” he growls, his word and his arms

squeezing to cut me off. “Don’t even say it. I
wouldn’t want that. He meant something to you,
baby, and yeah, sometimes it’s hard for me to
accept. But you’re right. You were happy. I’m glad
you were happy. I always want that for you, then
and now.”

“It’s so weird,” I whisper, turning in his arms and

looking into his eyes that I have always loved.

“What’s weird?”
“Happiness. Being happy. It’s weird. I thought I

was happy then.” I shake my head. “No, I know I
was happy then. But I’m happy now.” I slide my
hands up and wrap them around both sides of his

neck. “It’s a different kind of happiness. A
happiness I feel all the way down to my soul. These
last two days, I realized that with you I feel full. I
feel complete. I didn’t know I wasn’t that before
but you gave that to me.”

“Baby—”
I interrupt him, knowing I need to make him

understand, even though it hurts. “If I had the
power to make things different, I wouldn’t.” I look
off into the distance, hating myself for even
admitting the truth out loud. “I wouldn’t change
losing him.” I drop my head forward as a sob slips
from my throat and the tears I’ve been fighting fall
free. “I wouldn’t change anything, because without
that, I wouldn’t be able to have you. And I can’t
imagine not being able to experience this.”

“Bre.” His tone is tortured.
“I know that makes me a horrible person.”
“It doesn’t,” he states firmly, leaning back,

taking my face between his large hands, and using
his thumbs to wipe away each tear as they fall. “It
doesn’t, and baby, he’s not the only one who spent
time wishing on stars. I’ve spent the last few years
staring up at the night sky, hoping to see the star
that would bring you to me.” He rests his forehead
against mine. “I hate that you lost him, but I’m not
sorry I have a shot at making you happy for the rest
of your life.”

“Denver.”

“I love you, Bre, have loved you since I

understood what the emotions you gave me meant.
If I could take your pain, your hurt, your regret, I
would. I’d do anything for you, baby. Anything.”
He leans back, looking into my eyes. “This is our
story. This is the way our story was meant to
unfold. Who knows if we would have ended up
taking each other for granted had we found each
other so young? Who knows what would have
happened between us if things didn’t work out like
they did? All I do know is I will cherish every
second I have with you, and I will appreciate
everything you give me, and I will never take one
second with you for granted.”

With his words, the sincerity in his eyes, and his

hands gently holding my face, I know things will be
okay, that we will find a way to work through
whatever life throws at us. We will find a way to
give each other the happiness we both deserve.

“I love you,” I tell him through my tears and the

pain in my chest. “Thank you for waiting on me to
sort my head out. But most of all, thank you for
fighting for us.”

“Fuck,” he rumbles, pulling me against him,

curving his hand around the back of my head, and
holding me close. “It’s cold. I gotta get you inside.”

I nod but don’t move from where I am, and

neither does he. We stand just like that until I start
to shiver, and only then does he take me back

downstairs. We make love, slow and unhurried,
building each other up until we both come apart.
Then he tucks me against him with my head on his
chest, his heart beating in a solid tempo against my
ear.

“What do you want baby?”
“You.”
“You have me, you’ll always have me.” I rest my

forehead against his and close my eyes against his
skin.

“I wished for you,” I whisper my confession.

“When I was just a kid I wished on a shooting star
that you’d notice me, I wished that you’d be mine.”

“Bre.” He slides one hand up my back into my

hair his voice sounding tortured.

I open my eyes and look down into his handsome

face and beautiful eyes. “It took a while for my
wish to come true but I’m really happy that it did.”
I touch my mouth to his and lick against his lips,
and when he kisses me back I pour into our kiss
everything I feel for him, wanting, no needing him
to know that he’s everything to me.

HAPTER

_______________

UBREY

STANDING IN THE KITCHEN AT the stove, I
dump a jar of pasta sauce into the meat I already
browned while I listen to Ly. I watch her as she
colors a page in the coloring book in front of her,
and laugh as she talks a mile a minute about what
she did while I was gone. When Denver and I
returned back into town this afternoon, he brought
me home, said a quick goodbye to me before he
gave Ly a long hug, and told her he’d be back to
the house for dinner tonight.

I didn’t know we were going to have dinner

together, but I was happy we were. After the last
two days with him, I didn’t want what we shared to
come to an end. I wanted to keep living in the
moment, to keep feeling happy and complete, and
to keep adding on to what we were building, but to
stir Ly into the mix to make it even better.

“When you and Denver get married, can I call

him Daddy?” At Ly’s sudden and unexpected
question, my hand stirring the sauce stills and my
heart starts to pound.

“I….” I have no idea what I’m going to say, but I

don’t get a chance to say anything, because she
continues without looking up at me.

“I know he’s not my daddy,” she says before

lifting her head. “But Penelope said he would be
my stepdad, so can I call him Dad?” Holy shit! I
thought I was ready for this. I was totally, totally
wrong. My mind scrambles for a way to answer her
question as she drops her eyes back down to what
she was doing, continuing on to something new to
freak me out. “Can I be the flower girl?” A vision
of me walking in a wedding dress toward Denver
while Ly tosses out flowers in front of me fills my
mind. It’s a beautiful image, one that scares the
crap out of me and makes me want to do girly
cartwheels all over the house. “Can I wear a dress
like Princess Elsa?”

How cute would that be? Crap, I need to grab a

hold of this and be an adult, not start searching for
a flower girl dress. “Baby.” Her eyes lift to meet
mine. “Denver and I are seeing each other, but we
are not getting married anytime soon.”

“But Penelope said you guys are in love, had

always been in love with each other.”

Okay, my baby sister, who is only a few years

older than Ly, has a big mouth. “She said she

overheard Grandma Shel and Grandma Joe talking
about it.”

“Honey—”
“Are you in love?” she asks, sounding like the

wrong answer will send her into a tantrum.

“Yes,” I answer honestly, because we are, and

because if things keep going like we both want
them to, we will one day be a family.

“Then I want to call him Dad.” My stomach

muscles twist as I stare at my baby. She has always
seemed wise beyond her years. Even looking into
her eyes when she was just days old, it felt like she
already knew everything there was to know about
life and how the world works. “Even Grandpa said
he’s been my daddy since I was born.”

“Grandpa said that?” I whisper, and she nods.
“Your daddy was Gabe, Ly,” I say gently, and

she looks away. I have spoken to her about Gabe
since before she was born, and I have talked to her
about him as much as possible since she took her
first breath. He would have been so happy to find
out we were pregnant, and I know he would have
been an amazing father to her. As much as I love
the love she has for Denver, I don’t want her to
forget about Gabe. I move around the counter
toward her and crouch close to her side. “I know
you never met him, but Gabe is a part of you, and
you’re a part of him.”

“But,” she starts, and I reach out, taking her

hand, and then lean closer, wrapping my hand
around the side of her face. Crap, I’m not even sure
how to talk to her about this. “If the time comes
and you feel like you want to call Denver Dad, I’m
all for that, baby. But let’s wait a little while, ‘kay?”

“Like until after you’re married?”
“Yes, but if you think we need to talk about it

before then, we can.”

“Okay.” She smiles then looks back down at the

picture she’s been coloring, drops the crayon she
had in her hand, and changes it out for a new color.

I watch her, thinking that was strange—not good,

not bad, but still awkward. I also think I need to
have a talk with my parents and my sister about
what they discuss around her, because she
obviously hears everything, even when you don’t
think she’s paying attention.

With a shake of my head, I go back around to

the stove and dump a box of pasta into the water
that is already boiling. Once the pasta is done, I mix
it with the meat sauce, transfer it into a baking dish,
and smother it with mozzarella before putting it in
the oven.

When the doorbells rings at ten to six, Ly jumps

off her stool, shouting “I’ll get it!” with me right on
her heels.

I expect Denver to be on the other side of the

door, so when I swing it open without looking to
see who’s outside, my body freezes when I see my

mom standing on my porch. “Mom?” I drop my
eyes to her bag and bite my lip.

“Hey.” She leans in, wrapping her arms around

me and giving me a hug. Letting me go, she scoops
up Ly, who is totally startled by the grandmother
she does not know. “Hey, pretty girl.” She kisses
Ly’s cheek. “God, you look just like your mom.
Nothing like your dad. Thank god for that.”

“Mom,” I whisper-hiss, not that she notices.
“I decided to come to town for a couple weeks. I

thought we should spend some time together and
catch up.”

I blink at her as she hands me Ly, picks up her

bag, and hauls it into the house before shutting the
door.

She did this once or twice in the past when Gabe

was alive, dropped by unexpectedly and invited
herself to stay awhile. Those times, I had been
accommodating, because a part of me was hoping
she was going to turn over a new leaf and finally
step up to be my mom. I learned after the last time
she came and went without a word for months that
she didn’t want to spend time with me; she just
needed a place to crash.

“What are you doing here?” I ask, as Ly rests

her head on my shoulder and her arms tighten
around my neck.

“Something smells great. I’m starved.” She pulls

off her light jean jacket, tossing it into the darkened

front living room, and I hear it land on the couch.
“How have you been?” she asks without answering
my question.

Anger starts to pump through my blood, but I

know I cannot get as pissed as I want to with Ly in
my arms. I cannot let Ly see me lose my damn
mind. “I’ll be right back.” I don’t look at her. I
open the front door, step out, and close it behind
me. In my bare feet, I carry Ly in my arm across
my front porch, over the gravel between my dad’s
house and mine, and right through his front door
without knocking.

“Gorgeous?” Dad frowns when he sees me. I

don’t say anything to him. I carry Ly upstairs to my
sister’s room and push her door open. Like normal,
Pen is in bed, reading. She starts to smile when she
sees me, but reading the look on my face, her smile
fades away.

“Can you hang with your niece for a bit, Pen?” I

ask, and she nods. “Baby, stay with Pen. I’ll be
back to get you, or Denver will when he gets to the
house,” I say, looking into her eyes, and she nods.
“Love you.”

“Love you too, Mama,” she whispers. I set her

to her feet, turn, and leave the room, shutting the
door. I find my dad and Shel at the bottom of the
steps when I get there, with their arms curled
around each other.

“What’s going on?” Dad asks, narrowing his

eyes and giving me a look that I haven’t seen in
years. One that says I better tell him or he will
ground me for the rest of my life.

“Mom’s over at my place right now. She just

showed up with a suitcase, walked in, and greeted
me like she’s been seeing me every month for
years. Then she picked up Ly and totally freaked
her out by being everything that is her.”

“What?” Shel whispers, knowing I haven’t seen

my mom since before Gabe died.

“Please tell me you’re fucking kidding me,” Dad

bites out, walking to the door and slipping on his
boots.

“Don’t.” I grab his arm. “Please don’t. I need to

do this. I need to tell her myself how I feel.”

“No, you do not.”
I turn my head when I hear that rumbled, and

blink when I see a pissed off Denver standing in the
now open doorway.

“Wha—”
“Went to the house. Your mom was there when I

walked in. When I asked where you were, she said
you took off. I came here knowing this is where
you’d be. I just heard everything you said, and no
way are you facing that alone, not when you don’t
have to.”

“Denver—”
“No. Remember when I said I’d do everything in

my power to take care of you? This is part of me

doing that.”

“I have to be the one to tell her.”
“I get that, and you can do that. But you’ll have

me, your dad, and Shel at your back while you do
it.”

“Okay,” I agree, stepping toward him, and I

watch as tension drains from his shoulders. If I
didn’t already know I love him, I would have
figured it out right then. Him feeling so much worry
over me talking to the woman who has made me
feel unloved and unwanted most of my life, and
demanding to be at my back, would have shown me
what I already know. “Can we do that now?” I ask,
looking into his eyes when he doesn’t move to get
out of my way.

“Yeah,” he mutters, before wrapping his hand

around the back of my neck, pulling me forward,
and dropping a very quick, very hard kiss to my
mouth before he leans back to search my eyes.
“You got this, baby.”

I nod, but he doesn’t nod back. He slides his

heavy arm around my shoulders then walks back to
my front door. I hear my dad and Shel coming up
the steps as I open the door, and I know by the look
on my mom’s face when she sees them and isn’t
happy about it. She acted like things were okay
between everyone when I was getting married to
Gabe, but seeing the anger in her eyes as she looks
between Shel and Dad, I know that was all pretend.

“Seriously?” she questions, placing her hands on

her hips, her eyes darting from me to my dad, who
is now standing at my side, and then back to me. “I
didn’t come here for drama.”

“Why are you here?” I ask. “Wait. Never mind. I

really don’t care.” I cut her off when her mouth
starts to open. “You know my husband died four
years ago, right?”

Her face softens slightly. “I know, honey. I—”
“You weren’t here then, when I needed you. You

didn’t show when I found out I was pregnant. You
didn’t show when I had Ly. I haven’t seen you in
years.”

“I know, but—”
“No, I don’t want to hear it, because I no longer

care. I no longer need to pretend that you worry
about me, that you think about me, or that you
want me in your life as badly as I used to want you
in mine.”

“I’m your mom.”
“You are? That’s funny.” I laugh, but it’s a sound

full of pain, heartache, and empty promises made to
a little girl who only ever wanted to be loved.
“Funny, because the last time I checked, it was Shel
who talked to me about my period, about boys, and
about sex. It was Shel who stood at my side,
holding my hand when Gabe’s ashes sank to the
bottom of the ocean. It was Shel who curled around
me as I cried all night. It was Shel who forced me to

eat and to shower. It was Shel who held my hand
when I heard Ly’s heartbeat for the first time. Shel
was the one who came over to take care of me
when I had morning sickness so bad I couldn’t get
out of bed. It was Shel who showed me how to
change a diaper, how to hold a baby. And it was
definitely Shel who showed me how to be”—I lean
forward and shout—“a mom!”

“Yeah, I know Shel is perfect,” she hisses,

cutting her eyes to Shel, and I feel my dad tense.
“Always so perfect, so perfect she gave up her first
kid. Couldn’t even hack being a mom.”

“Do not fucking go there,” Dad rumbles.
“When Dad told me that he and Shel had given

up their baby, you know what I thought?” I ask
quietly, and my mom looks at me. “I thought, God,
why didn’t my mom give me up? She didn’t even
want me. At least if she had done that, I could have
had a mom who cared about me.”

“Gorgeous.” Dad’s pain-filled voice cuts through

me, and I look up at him.

“I love you, Dad. You’ve been the best dad a girl

could ask for. You mean everything to me.
Everything. And I would have been lost without
you. Please don’t doubt that. Please know how
much you mean to me and how grateful I am that
I’m your daughter.” I watch his eyes close then feel
his hand wrap around mine. Having his love and
strength is something I’ve been lucky enough to

feel my whole life. I look at my mom. “All I ever
wanted was for you to love me, for you to put me
first. You never did that. Everything has always
been about you, about how you feel or what you
want.”

“This is fucked up,” she hisses.
“No, this—you. Showing up at my house is

fucked up, especially when we haven’t spoken in
forever. You picking up your granddaughter you
don’t even know and acting the way you did is
fucked up. You having the guts to give Shel—a
woman you should be thanking—dirty looks is
fucked up. I hope you get yourself together. I really
hope you do. But I don’t want you in my life or my
baby’s life, and you are really not welcome to stay
here in my home.”

“I can’t believe you’re talking to me like this.”
“You need to leave,” Denver says, and she looks

at him, her face turning ugly.

“I’m guessing you standing here means she’s

finally giving you a shot. I hope you know that
without her husband dying, you wou—”

“Get out!” Shel shouts, and my eyes go to her. I

see she has tears running down her cheeks. “Get
out of this house right now before I put you out.”

“Yeah, like you could do that.”
“Don’t make me prove it to you,” Shel says

calmly, and I tense when my mom aggressively
steps toward her. “Please. Please do it. You need to

learn a lesson.”

“Right.” Mom stops, resting her hands on her

hips. “Like you could teach me anything.”

“I could show you a thing or two about love,

about the power of it and about the strength of a
mother’s devotion. That’s my girl.” Shell points at
me. “Mine. And I will go down swinging to protect
her, every part of her, even her heart. You might
not care about anyone but yourself, but I love her
with everything in me. I’m grateful for every
second I get with her, and I hate that you’ve had
any role in her life.”

“She’s not yours. She’s mine,” Mom seethes.
“You’re wrong. You might have given birth to

her, but she’s right.” She points at me again. “It’s
been me by her side through everything, and me
who will continue to be by her side until the day I
die. Honestly, I feel sorry for you, because one day
—tomorrow or years from now—when you’re lying
on your deathbed, you’re going to realize what you
let get away. You’re going to see you have no one
to blame but yourself for the fact that your kids
don’t want anything to do with you and that you
spent your life alone.”

“This is done,” Denver cuts in before my mom

can reply. “You need to leave.” He picks up her
bag, opens the door, and throws it out onto the
porch, where I hear it land then roll down the steps.

“Did you just throw my bag?” she squawks, her

voice flabbergasted.

“Get out, or I’ll put you in cuffs and escort you

to the station,” Dad says, and my mom, who has
never really been my mom, narrows her eyes on
him.

“Fuck this,” she mutters, giving Shel another

glare before she stomps to the still dark living room
and grabs her coat. She doesn’t say anything as she
goes, but she does give each of us one last ugly
look before she’s gone.

“Gorgeous,” Dad whispers, wrapping his arms

around me as I stare at the closed door. “Why
didn’t you tell me?”

“Dad—”
“Fuck, why didn’t you tell me you felt like

that?”

“Because you made up for her not being around,

and then I had Shel and it didn’t matter anymore,” I
confess, and his arms around me squeeze. “I love
you, Dad. Please know that, and please know what
I felt then, I only felt for a little while.”

“I wish you never felt it at all.”
“I know.” I look up at him then over at Shel. “Is

it too late to start calling you mom?” At my
question, her chin wobbles and she shakes her
head. “Good, I love you, Mom.”

“I know, honey.” She joins my dad and me, and

we make room as our arms go around each other in
a huddle. I look over Shel’s shoulder at Denver, and

the intensity of his gaze makes my heart pick up
speed. He’s proud of me. God, yes, I love him.

“I need to go get Ly. I’m sure she’s worried.”
“Right,” Dad mumbles, kissing my forehead

before letting me go. And then his arms go tight
around Shel, who I hear let out a quiet sob.

When an arm goes around my waist, I look up at

Denver and give him a watery smile, but he doesn’t
smile back. He touches his mouth to mine then
leads me out of the house, leaving Dad and Shel
behind.

“So fucking proud of you, baby.” He stops me

just outside my dad’s front door with his hands on
my hips and his face close to mine. “So fucking
proud.”

“Thank you.”
“You feel better?”
My eyes slide close. I do. I didn’t know I needed

that until it happened and was done. I feel like a
weight has been lifted off my shoulders, and I know
that part of me being able to do what I just did had
to do with having Denver and my parents at my
back.

“Baby?”
“I feel relieved it’s done and I don’t have to

worry or think about her anymore. I will probably
be sad from time to time when I look at Ly and
think about what she’s missing out on, but Shel was
right. Those are her regrets, not mine, and if she

can live with that, then oh well. Her loss.”

“I’m here, whenever you need to talk through

that.”

“I know.” I lift up on my tiptoes as he drags me

up his body.

“Let’s get our girl.”
I smile as he places his lips against mine, and

then we go pick up our girl, who is not traumatized
by what happened and is just happy to have Denver
and me together.

HAPTER

_______________

ENVER

“BEDTIME, LY,” BRE SAYS, SHUTTING off the
TV and uncurling herself from my side on the
couch, where I placed her after we all ate dinner
before we started watching one of Lyra’s movies.

Ly, who’s lying against the other side of my

chest, lifts her head to look at her mom. “But
mom…?”

“No buts, baby. You know your bedtime, and

you have to get up to go to Grandma Joe’s in the
morning.”

“Five more minutes?” Ly tries, and I fight back a

smile.

“No. Now come on.” Bre stands, and Ly lets out

a huff, giving me a hug before hoping off the couch
to take her mom’s hand. “I’ll be back.”

“Sure, baby.” I lift my chin and watch both girls

disappear.

I go to the kitchen and clean up the dishes from

dinner, wrap up the pasta bake, and place it in the
fridge before I grab a beer. I lean back against the
counter and take a drink while I listen to the girls
upstairs, and I smile when I hear them laugh. I’ve
been in this house more times than I can count, had
dinner here with Bre and Ly hundreds of times
since Ly was born, helped Bre clean up dishes or
put Ly to bed. But in all those times, I never felt
what I’m feeling right now. Happy, complete, full.

“Denver!” I hear shouted by both girls, and I

move to the bottom of the stairs and find them
looking down at me.

“What’s up?”
“Time to tuck me in and read a story,” Lyra says

in a duh-tone, and I laugh.

“I’m coming.” I drop off my beer in the kitchen

then head up the stairs. I find both girls in Lyra’s
room when I hit the top floor, Lyra in bed and Bre
sitting on the edge with a book in her hand. I move
to the bed, kiss the top of Lyra’s head, and tuck the
blankets around her.

“I love you. I’m glad you’re home.” She hugs

me, and I hold her closer, tighter. Home. Christ, she
and her mom have been my home forever, but now
I get to be that to them too.

“Love you, gorgeous. Have sweet dreams.” I

kiss her forehead once more then let her go and
stand by the door. I lean against the wall and listen
to Bre read, and halfway through the book, I notice

Lyra’s eyes haven fallen shut and her breathing has
evened out. “She’s out, baby.”

Bre looks at me then Ly and sets the book aside.

She kisses her cheek then shuts off her lamp, and
when she makes it across the room to me, she takes
my hand as I let her lead me back downstairs. I
know I’m staying the night. I’m just not sure how
Bre will feel about it. My guess—she will tell me
that we should wait so Lyra isn’t confused if she
wakes up to find me in her mom’s bed.

“Do you want the bathroom first, or want me to

go first?” she asks, and I look around, realizing
we’re in her bedroom and she’s digging through her
dresser for something to wear to bed.

“You go first. I’m gonna shut the house down,” I

say, and she nods before disappearing into the
bathroom. I don’t question it. I learned to never
look a gift horse in the mouth.

When I make it back into the bedroom, she’s in

middle of her bed with her back to the headboard
and the blankets over her lap. I shut off the
overhead light, since she has the lamps on, then
head into the bathroom. I use the toothbrush she
left out on the counter for me and strip down to my
boxers. I open the door and see she’s on the phone
with who I immediately know is her twin brother,
just from her side of the conversation. I go to the
right side of the bed and climb in, pulling her
against my torso, which she hasn’t taken her eyes

off of.

“Love you too, and tell Hunter I love him,” she

says quietly, running her fingers down the center of
my abs and the trail of dark hair there. “Yeah, see
you both soon.”

She drops her forehead to my pec and I look

down at her, seeing her hair spread out over my
chest and abs. “You okay?”

“Steven is pissed. He hasn’t spoken to mom in

forever either, and he can’t believe she had the guts
to show up here after everything that’s happened
and act like things were all good.” She looks up at
me. “He and Hunter are coming next weekend.
Shel—I mean Mom—told them about you and me.
I think they want to come see for themselves that
everything is okay with us.”

“They

love

you.

Them

coming

understandable,” I say, looking into her eyes and
trying to gauge her reaction.

“Yeah, but… um, will you be okay with that?”
“With them coming into town to check on you?”

She nods. “Yeah, baby, you know I get along with
your brothers. It’s not a big deal,” I assure, and she
bites her bottom lip. “What?”

“It’s just so odd how everything seems to be

falling into place.”

“That worries you?”
“Yes… no… I don’t know. It just seems like I’m

going to wake up and this will all be a dream.”

My fingers slide through her soft hair and curve

around the back of her neck. “This is not a dream.
This is definitely not going to end. This is the way
it’s supposed to be.”

I watch her eyes soften then slide closed. “Ly

wants to call you Dad.”

My stomach muscles bunch and my fingers

around the back of her neck tighten at her words.
“Pardon?”

“I… Pen told her we are in love. And I guess she

heard Dad say you have always been a daddy to
her. She asked me tonight when I was making
dinner if she could call you that.”

“Fuck.” Heat hits my chest and spreads through

every limb, every cell, every single inch of me. I
thought I had everything with Bre giving herself to
me, but hearing Ly wants to call me Daddy means I
not only have everything. I have it all.

“Denver.” Her hand slides up to my jaw, and I

focus on her, seeing she’s worried.

“I’m down with that, if it’s what she wants.” I

haul her up my body until we are face-to-face.
“You okay with that?”

“I am. I just….”
I know what she’s thinking, even without her

saying it. I know she’s worried Ly giving that to me
will mean she’s going to forget Gabe. “We—you
and I both—will make sure she never forgets him,
Bre. But I’m fucking honored she wants me to have

that title.”

I watch her eyes slide closed. “She loves you.”
“I love her too.”
“I know you do,” she confirms, opening her eyes

meeting my gaze. “Please tell me all of this isn’t too
good to be true.”

“It’s not, baby. Just stick with me and I promise

you’ll see that for yourself.”

“I’m not going anywhere,” she whispers, her soft

hands sliding down my chest.

“No you’re not,” I agree, rolling her to her back.

“You’re mine now, and no fucking way am I letting
you go.”

“Good.” She lifts her head, pressing her mouth to

mine.

I kiss her back then do a whole lot of other

things to her. Only when we are both exhausted do
I tuck her against me and fall asleep with her in my
arms, right where she belongs.

Right where she will always belong.

_______________

“Fuck, man. I can’t believe it. I heard it from Lu,
who has been spreading that shit wide, and I still
didn’t think it was true,” Lincoln, my best friend
since I can remember, mutters, watching Bre and
Lyra disappear into the restroom at the restaurant

we are having lunch at together. “Happy for you.”

“Not as happy as I am.” I pick up my beer,

taking a swig. It’s been a week since Bre and I got
back into town, and since then, we haven’t spent a
night away from each other. I’ve woken each
morning with her in my arms, ate breakfast with her
and Lyra, and then worked while she worked, going
back to her and Lyra’s at the end of the day.
Tonight will be the first night I’ll be gone, since I
have to head out for an opener. I’m not looking
forward to being away, but I know when I get back
into town she’ll be waiting for me, so it’s all good.

“When are you getting married?” It’s a joke—I

know by his smile he’s just teasing—but when I
answer, it’s not.

“I got her ring. Just waiting to take her out on the

boat again to ask her. As soon as I can get our
moms to plan it, we’ll get married. I’m not fucking
around with this. I’ve waited long enough. Not
gonna take my time.”

“Christ, you’re going fast.”
“Not fast enough,” I say, and he grins then his

expression shifts.

“Are you moving in with her, or is she moving

into your place?”

“We talked this morning. I’m moving in as soon

as fishing starts to slow down.”

“He lived there,” he states quietly, and I know he

means Gabe. I no longer feel that ever-present

jealousy when it comes to him. I don’t know what
happened to it, but it’s gone.

“Yeah, and he’s gone in a way he’s never coming

back.” His expression shifts at my words, filling
with remorse. “She likes living next to her parents,
and Lyra is comfortable there. I’m not asking them
to leave, not when I’m getting everything I want in
the end.”

“Like I said, happy for you, man.” He lifts his

beer toward me.

“And like I said, not as happy as I am.” I watch

Lyra and Bre as they come out of the bathroom and
start toward our table, only to stop when someone
steps between them and us. When I see it’s Gabe’s
father, my muscles bunch. “Fuck.”

Bre told me she talked to Gabe’s mom the day

after we made it back into town. She told her she
wasn’t comfortable with Lyra being so far away for
so long, especially with how young she is. She told
me Patrice wasn’t happy about her decision and
hung up on her. I stand quickly and head across the
mostly empty restaurant.

“You won’t allow us to take our granddaughter

to see her family, but you got no problem shoving a
man who’s not her father down her throat,” I hear
Jack say when I’m close, and my temper flares.

“Step back,” I growl, stepping between him and

Bre.

Jack turns his cold stare on me. “You are not in

this.”

“You’re wrong.” I look back at Bre and then

down to Lyra, who’s hiding behind Bre’s legs.
“Take Lyra and wait in the truck, babe.”

“Come on, you two,” Lincoln says, picking up

Lyra and grabbing Bre’s hand.

“Do not walk away from me,” Jack seethes,

grabbing Bre’s arm tight enough that she flinches in
pain.

I see red. I grab his wrist, squeeze tight until he

releases his hold, and then yank so hard I wouldn’t
be surprised if I dislocated his shoulder. “Do not
touch her, ever.” I grip his wrist. “Not fucking
ever.” I look at Lincoln. “Get them out of here.”
He nods and leads them away, and I wait until
they’re gone to look at Jack, not letting up on the
hold I have on him.

“Get your hands off me.” He jerks away, his face

red and pissed off.

“Stay away from them, Jack. Unless Bre

contacts you, you do not approach them again,
especially not like you just did.”

“That’s my son’s wife and my granddaughter.”
“Your son is gone. That’s my woman and my girl.

You are not a part of Lyra’s life. She doesn’t even
really know you or your wife. You want to change
that, I’m sure Bre would love for you to get to
know Lyra, but you do not get up in her face and
spout bullshit.”

“Fuck you,” he spits, his eyes scanning the

restaurant before he storms off.

“You okay, Den?”
I look at Marty, the owner, and lift my chin. I

pull out my wallet, drop some cash on the table,
and take off to check on my girls.

“Everything all right?” Lincoln asks, meeting me

at the front of my truck.

“Not sure,” I reply, looking through the

windshield and meeting Bre’s worried gaze.

“You still heading out this evening?”
“Probably not.” After that scene, I’m not exactly

thrilled about the idea of my girls being home
without me there. “I’ll touch base with Zach and go
from there.”

“Let me know. And if you need anything, I’ll

have my sat phone on.”

“Thanks.” We say a quick goodbye before I

swing in behind the wheel.

“Denver?” Bre starts, breaking the silence as I

pull out of the parking lot and head for the house.

I jerk my head toward the back seat. “Wait until

we get home, baby.”

“Right,” she murmurs.
I grab her hand, lacing our fingers together and

trying to get my temper under control. “You okay,
gorgeous?” I ask Lyra, meeting her gaze in the
mirror, and she nods, but I can tell she’s confused
by what just happened. Maybe even scared, and

that does not make me happy.

When we arrive at the house, I carry Lyra inside

and Bre sets her up with her iPad in the living room
before we head to the kitchen to talk without her
hearing.

“You need to call your dad, baby,” I tell Bre, and

her brow furrows.

“Why?”
“He needs to know what happened, so he can

keep an eye on things, especially if I’m gonna be
out on the water.”

“Jack wouldn’t do anything to me or Lyra,

Denver.” She sighs, grabbing a soda from the fridge
and opening it.

“I watched him.” Her eyes meet mine. “I

watched him grab you, baby, watched you wince in
pain. And I don’t want to see right now, because
I’m barely hanging on to my control, but my guess
is you got bruises from him on your arm.”

“Denver.”
“Call your dad and tell him he needs to come

over.”

She studies me for a long moment then nods and

grabs her phone. Dialing, she then puts it to her ear.

“Dad, I need you to come to the house,” she

starts, but she goes quiet and her face pales. “Yeah,
see you soon.” She hangs up. “Dad’s on his way.”

“Okay, but what’s that look on your face?”
“Dad said he was already on his way over,

because he has something to talk to me about.”

“Talk to me,” I urge when she drops her eyes to

the counter.

“Dad got a call from Maxine, who works at the

airport. She told him that if Lyra is still leaving with
Jack and Patrice tomorrow, they need to have a
notarized letter from me along with her birth
certificate.”

“Pardon?”
“She said they might not have in issue leaving

town with Lyra, but coming back with her, the
airlines will want to see that letter before they let
her get on a plane.”

I stare, trying to wrap my mind around what

she’s saying. “Are you telling me that after you told
them you didn’t feel comfortable with her leaving
with them, they were gonna just fucking take her?”

Fear fills her eyes, and my jaw clenches along

with my fists. “They were going to take my baby
from me.” She covers her mouth with her fingers.

Fuck.
I go to her, gathering her in my arms. I hold her

tightly against my chest, trying hard not to crush
her. I’ve never been as pissed as I am right now.
“Need you to breathe, baby.”

“I can’t. They were going to take my baby, even

after I told them they couldn’t.”

“I know, but you need to pull it together. We

need to check on Lyra and make sure she’s good.

Then you need to get ready to talk to your dad. You
need to press charges or get a restraining order
against them.”

“What the hell is wrong with them?” she

whispers, looking into my eyes as hers fill with
tears.

“I don’t know.” I rest my forehead to hers. “I do

know it didn’t happen, that it will never fucking
happen.”

“Denver.”
“Go sit with Ly and wait for your dad, baby. I

wanna call my mom and dad to give them a heads
up. I also need to call Lincoln to tell him I won’t be
going out on this opener.”

“But you have to—”
“I need to be here.” I press a light kiss to her

mouth, cutting her off. “I’m not leaving.”

She drops her forehead to my chest. “Okay.”
“Okay.” I lift her head, touch my mouth to hers,

and give her a squeeze before I let her go. When
she’s gone, I pull out my phone from my back
pocket and call my dad and mom to let them know
what happened. After I hang up the phone with
them, I call Lincoln to tell him I won’t be going out
on the opener, and then I head to the living room to
be with both my girls.

HAPTER

_______________

UBREY

SITTING ON THE COUCH, CURLED into
Denver’s side with his fingers moving soothingly
under the edge of my tee, I watch my baby, her
eyes on the TV as her head rests against Denver’s
chest. I close my eyes and silently thank God. If we
didn’t live in such a small town, and if Maxine
didn’t call my dad to give him a friendly heads up, I
might not have known about Gabe’s parents’ plans
until it was too late.

I don’t even want to think about what I would

have done if they had gotten on a plane with Ly. I
know I would’ve lost my mind. I also know I
would’ve stopped at nothing to bring her home.
When my dad drove out to their property with two
other officers, neither Patricia nor Jack tried to
deny they were planning on kidnapping Ly to take
her with them to Nevada. Though they didn’t
consider it kidnapping. They told my dad, in their

words—they were her grandparents; it was their
right to spend time with her, and they were tired of
me keeping them from their grandchild.

When my dad told me what they said, I was

pissed—or more pissed than I already was. I never
shut them out of Ly’s life. Even after some of the
crap they pulled, I didn’t try to keep her from them.
They have always been welcome at my house and
invited to every family event I’ve planned. It hurt
that I had to file a restraining order against them,
and I pray to God we are able to find a way to work
things out in the future. Not for me, but for Ly.

I might not understand them, but they are a piece

of Gabe, and I want her to know all of him. I want
her to be able to ask them any question she might
have. I want her to know how her dad grew up, and
I want her to understand how much she would have
meant to him. For now though, the most important
thing is protecting her from anyone who would
cause her harm, even if it is just emotionally. And
what they wanted to do would have caused her as
much pain as it caused me.

“Baby.” I come out of my head at Denver’s

voice, tip my head back, and focus on his
handsome face. “Lyra’s out. Wanna wake her, or
just take her up and tuck her into bed?”

My eyes go to Ly and I see he’s right. She’s out,

with her hand curled under her cheek on Denver’s
chest.

“Just bed,” I murmur, and he nods, dropping his

mouth to mine for a quick kiss before he moves,
adjusting Ly in his arms, and stands. I follow him
up the stairs then carefully change Ly out of her
clothes, into a nightgown, and tuck her in. She
doesn’t stir; then again, she’s always been a heavy
sleeper. I kiss her forehead then stand back to
watch Denver tuck her blankets tighter around her
and smooth her hair back from her forehead,
studying her for a long moment before he turns out
her lamp. I make sure her nightlight is on then leave
the room.

When we hit the bedroom on the first floor, I

don’t hesitate, stripping out of my clothes and
climbing into bed. I lie back with my head on my
pillow and stare at the ceiling while he crawls in
next to me, and then sigh when he pulls me against
his hard frame.

“You okay?”
“I know I should be more freaked than I am, but

surprisingly, I’m all right,” I answer, lifting up to
look into his eyes as he rests back against the
headboard.

“You know she’s safe.”
“Yeah,” I whisper. “She’s safe.”
“She’ll stay that way, Bre. I promise you that.”
“I know.” I start to rest my head against his

chest, but he doesn’t let me.

His hand wraps into my hair, keeping my gaze

prisoner. “I’d never let anything happen to either of
you.”

My body melts against his as I stare at his

handsome face and beautiful eyes. God, I love him,
and I know without a doubt that he would do
anything for me and Ly. He would protect us from
anyone and anything.

“Bre?”
“Give me a minute,” I whisper wanting to soak

in this moment, wanting to memorize this feeling.

He doesn’t give me a minute. He pulls my mouth

to his then rolls me to my back, kissing me until I’m
breathless.

“I love you,” he says quietly, tracing my brow

with his finger.

“I know,” I reply, just as softly.
“You don’t, you have no idea how much I love

you, how much you mean to me.”

I don’t get the chance to reply. I don’t get the

chance to tell him I know how much he loves me
because I feel his love deep in inside me, filling me
up with life and giving me everything I ever
needed. He cuts off my words when his mouth
covers mine then steals my breath when he slides
into me. When we both become connected in
everyway possible, I whisper “I love you” against
his lips and pray he knows I love him just as much
as he loves me.

That he knows my heart has always been his.

Ours is the kind of love that has been spoken

about and searched for throughout time, a love so
sought after that it’s been written into the stars.

PILOGUE

_______________

Six months later

“ARE YOU READY FOR THIS?”

At my dad’s question, I look up at his handsome

face and smile. “Yes.”

“Then let’s go, gorgeous.” He tucks my hand

into the crook of his arm and I pull in a breath.

I watch the double doors open in front of me,

and then I smile at Ly when she grins at me over
her shoulder. She looks adorable in her baby blue
princess dress, with a rope of flowers around her
head and ribbons running down through her hair.

“Is it time, Mama?”
“Yes,” I whisper.
“Finally.” She giggles, walking out the doors and

tossing out flower petals as she goes.

I pull my eyes from my baby and they land on

Denver at the end of the aisle. He looks handsome

in his suit, his hands casually at his sides and his
expression soft on our girl as she heads his way. I
fight the urge to cry as Lyra makes it to him calling
him daddy and he picks her up, giving her a kiss.
“Dad, can someone be too happy?”

At my question, my dad stops us abruptly,

turning me so we are facing each other.

“You deserve this.” He rests his hand against my

cheek, and I hear people start to whisper in the
crowd. “You deserve all the happiness in the
world.”

“Thanks, Dad.”
“You’re going to be happy for the rest of your

life. I know in my gut that Denver will see to that.
He will work himself to the bone to give my baby
everything she deserves, and in return, I know
you’re going to give that all back to him tenfold.”

“You’re going to make me cry.” I feel my bottom

lip wobble, but instead of crying, I gasp in surprise
when I’m suddenly not on my feet but up in the air,
and Denver is walking down the aisle, holding me
against his chest. “What are you doing?” I breathe,
catching a few surprised looks from the people
lined up in the pews.

“We’re getting married,” he states, setting me on

my feet in front of him, and I blink.

“I was having a moment with my dad,” I tell him

—something I’m sure he saw for himself.

He captures my face between his hands then

leans in so he’s all I can see. “You can have your
moment after you say ‘I do’ to me.”

I’m not surprised by his declaration or even his

caveman move. He’s been pushing for this moment
since the night I shared that Ly wanted to call him
Dad. Our relationship has been moving at light
speed for months. First, it was him moving in, and
then it was him putting a ring on my finger. Then
after that, it was mostly him, not me, planning our
wedding with our moms who were both scarily
happy that Denver and I were going to say “I do.”

“I love you,” I murmur, seeing the look of

determination in his gaze. “I always have and I
always wil—” My words are cut off when his
mouth crashes down on mine, and he kisses me so
hard and so deep I forget where we are and what
we are supposed to be doing.

“Um.” A throat clears. “You two might wanna

wait until the pastor says you can kiss the bride,”
Lincoln cuts into the moment, and I smile against
Denver’s mouth then giggle when he growls into
mine, holding me closer against his large strong
frame.

“You ready?” he asks, not taking his eyes off

mine, and I wrap my arms around his shoulders.

“I’ve been ready,” I answer, and I am, because I

know my dad’s right. Denver will spend his life
working at making me happy, something he does
just by existing. And I will do everything to give

him the same.

_______________

Two years after that

“You’re going to spoiling him,” I tell Denver,
walking into the nursery, where I catch him picking
up our sleeping two-month-old son, Leo. I didn’t
choose his name; Denver did. He said he wanted
our kids and us to be connected through the stars. I
loved that he wanted that, so I didn’t fight him on
naming our son.

“He’s already spoiled.” He holds him against his

chest, kissing the top of his dark head.

He’s not wrong. Between his big sister, his dad,

my parents, his aunts, his uncles, and me, the kid
has never been put down for more than a few
minutes.

“Are you happy?” I ask, wrapping my arms

around the back of Denver’s waist while placing
my face close to Leo’s to study him like I’ve done a
million times. He looks like his dad, almost exactly,
right down to his beautiful eyes.

“Baby, you know I’m happy.” He kisses my

forehead then encircles me with his arm, now
holding our slowly waking son. He leads us to the
kitchen then lets me go so he can greet Ly with a
kiss to her forehead. I take a moment to study my

family then pull myself together so I don’t cry. I
have it all. I have everything I could have ever
wished for. I’m living a dream, and I’m so grateful
for every moment.

_______________

Twelve years later

“Mom, Dad, Scott’s here. We’re going to head
out!” Ly shouts through the house, and Denver’s
eyes meet mine and darken. Pissed. Great, he’s
pissed. Then again, since around the time Ly started
taking an interest in boys, he’s been pissed a lot.

“Honey, come say goodbye properly!” I shout

back, and Denver’s jaw clenches while his fingers
that are wrapped around my hip dig in.

“I’m sorry.” Ly rushes into the living room,

where Denver and I are sprawled out on the couch,
me mostly on top of him, watching a movie. “We
have to go. Dinner is going to start soon, and we
can’t be late.” She rushes over, kissing Denver’s
cheek then mine. Dinner, dinner with Gabe’s
parents who took their time coming around but
eventually realized that they didn’t want to miss out
on their granddaughter’s life. Unlike my own
mother who I haven’t spoken to since the night I
told her to get out of my house, they have been a
steady fixture in Ly’s life since she was around six

years old. I’m happy they are involved. Happy that
Ly has grown up with so much love around her.
The best is Ly has had a chance to know the people
who raised her father and gotten a chance to know
him through them.

“Scott’s not gonna come in and say hello?”

Denver asks, pulling me from my thoughts, and I
look at Ly as she rolls her eyes in my direction.

“Dad, you know he’s not going to come in to say

hello. The last time you saw him, you told him to
stay out of your house and to never show his face
again.”

“I caught you two making out.”
“He was kissing me goodnight, and it’s not like

we were on the couch half naked. We weren’t even
in the house! We were standing on the front porch.”

“He had his hands on you,” Denver continues,

and I fight back a smile.

“He did not!” Ly squawks, her cheeks turning

red.

He totally did have his hands on her. He was

grabbing her bottom. I saw it myself. But they were
not making out; at least, not when I saw them. Not
to say she hadn’t made out with him before. Scott
and Ly have been together for the last four years.
They’ve been together since her freshman year.
The funny thing is, Scott reminds me a lot of
husband. Neither of them are afraid to go after
what they want, and both of them are hardworking

and have good heads on their shoulders. I think all
the likeness is exactly why Denver isn’t very fond
of Scott.

“Honey, have fun and make sure you knock on

our door when you get home,” I say, ending this
now before it’s too late.

“I will. Love you, Mom. And Dad, even though

you’re crazy, I love you too.” She gives us a smile
before disappearing out the door.

“I hate that kid,” Denver mutters, and I laugh,

dropping my face to his chest. “It’s not funny.”

“You hate him because he’s just like you,” I

state, and he growls, rolling me until I’m under him
and his heavy weight is pressing me back into the
couch.

“Shut up,” he orders before his mouth covers

mine kissing me hard.

“God, gross. Can you two act like normal

parents and flipping hate each other or something?”
Leo asks, coming into the living room, and I look
over Denver’s shoulder at our son—our very
handsome son—who is only twelve but already a
heartbreaker.

“You don’t like it, you’ve got a room you can

hang in,” Denver says what he’s been saying for
years, and I start to laugh again, seeing a smile curl
the edge of his gorgeous mouth. God, he’s still hot
to this day. He’s still the hottest guy I have ever
seen, and he’s mine. All mine.

“Whatever,” Leo mutters before disappearing,

and I tuck my face into my husband’s chest and
laugh hard when he starts to chuckle. When our
laughter ends and his eyes meet mine I know he
was right years ago. Who knows if we would have
ended up taking each other for granted if he asked
me out like he planned on doing at that party when
we were both just kids. Who knows what would
have happened between us if things didn’t work out
like they did. Having him and everything that we
have shared over the years I cherish every second,
appreciate everything he’s given me and never take
a moment with him for granted. Things worked out
exactly like they were meant to and for that I’m
forever grateful.

_______________

ENVER

Years and years later

Standing out on the back deck, a beer in my hand,
my eyes pointed up at the night sky, I hear the door
slide open and I meet my wife’s gaze. Still
beautiful, even after all these years. I’ve never seen
anyone more beautiful than her.

“Honey, are you going to come in? The kids and

grandbabies are going to be leaving soon.”

“Be there in just a minute.”
Her head tips to the side. “Are you okay?”
I search her eyes. I’m not okay. I haven’t been

just okay in a long fucking time, because since the
moment she became mine, I’ve been living a
dream. “I’m good, baby. Just need a minute,” I say
as she comes to me, resting her hands on my
stomach, studying me.

“You sure you’re all right?”
“I’m sure.” I wrap one hand around her hip and

dip my face toward her for a kiss. She doesn’t make
me wait she leans up on her toes, touching her
mouth to mine.

“Okay, come in soon,” she orders before letting

me go and walking away.

I watch her until she disappears back inside,

closing the door behind herself. Once I’m alone
again, I tip my head back up to the cloudless dark
sky and wait for it to happen. Just like every year
on this day, I close my eyes after I see brightness
streak across the dark, only instead of making a
wish, I give a silent thank you because for me all
my wishes have already come true.

Goodbye, Cordova. I’ll miss you, but who knows?

Maybe I’ll be back again one day.

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

First I have to give thanks to God, because without
him none of this would be possible.

Second I want to thank my husband. I love you
now and always—thank you for believing in me
even when I don’t always believe in myself. To my
beautiful son, you bringing such joy into my life,
and I’m so honored to be your mom.

Thank you Selma and Sejla for demanding that I
write this story, and for offering your unwavering
encouragement, and friendship along the way. I
love you girls.

To every blog and reader, thank you for taking the
time to read and share my books. There would
never be enough ink in the world to acknowledge
you all, but I will forever be grateful to each and
every one of you.

I started this writing journey after I fell in love with
reading, like thousands of authors before me. I
wanted to give people a place to escape where the
stories were funny, sweet, and hot and left you
feeling good. I have loved sharing my stories with

you all, loved that I have helped people escape the
real world, even for a moment.

I started writing for me and will continue writing
for you. XOXO Aurora

OTHER BOOKS BY AURORA

ROSE REYNOLDS

The Until Series

Until November

Until Trevor

Until Lilly

Until Nico

Second Chance Holiday

Underground Kings Series

Assumption

Obligation

Distraction

Until Her Series

Until July

Until June

Until Ashlyn

Until Harmony

Until Him Series

Until Jax

Until Sage

Until Cobi (Coming soon)

Shooting Stars Series

Fighting to Breathe

Wide-Open Spaces

One Last Wish

Fluke my life series

Running into love

Stumbling into love

Tossed into love

Drawn Into Love(Coming soon)

Standalones

Falling Fast

Alpha Law CA ROSE

Justified LiabilityFinders Keepers

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Aurora Rose Reynolds is a New York Times and
USA Today bestselling author whose wildly popular
series include Until, Until Him, Until Her, and
Underground Kings.

Her writing career started in an attempt to get the

outrageously alpha men who resided in her head to leave
her alone and has blossomed into an opportunity to
share her stories with readers all over the world.

For more information on Reynolds’s latest books or

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Document Outline

Table of Contents
ONE LAST WISH
COPYRIGHT
DEDICATION
Prologue
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Epilogue
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
OTHER BOOKS BY AURORA ROSE REYNOLDS
ABOUT THE AUTHOR

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