Cherries on Top |
Rowan McAllister
| 2
Chapter One
“W
OULD
you like another, sir?”
Craig looked up from the small pile of beer bottle labels
that he‟d been shredding on the bar to find the short,
middle-aged bartender smiling blandly at him.
“Not yet, thanks,” he replied.
It was only six in the evening, he was already on his
third beer, and the microwave burrito he‟d had for lunch was
long gone. If he didn‟t slow down, he‟d be too drunk to string
two words together by the time Doug arrived… if Doug
arrived.
The bartender nodded and smiled again, though Craig
caught his gaze dropping briefly to the mess on the counter
before he spoke.
“Certainly sir. I‟ll be right over there, when you‟re
ready.”
The man tipped his head toward the other end of the
bar and went off to help the two ladies in tight cocktail
dresses and too much makeup who had just arrived.
As soon as he walked away, Craig grabbed a cocktail
napkin and swept the little bits of paper off the otherwise
immaculate bar and into his hand. He shoved the whole
mess into his pocket and looked around to make sure no one
had noticed. In his worn leather jacket and faded jeans,
Craig was already way out of his class among the business
suit and trophy wife set at the bar. The last thing he needed
was to call more attention to that fact by acting like a pig.
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Craig shook his head at himself and leaned his elbows
back on the bar. How could he ever expect to get a job at a
place as swanky as this when he couldn‟t even sit at the bar
for a couple of hours as a customer without everyone in the
place knowing he didn‟t belong? The least he could do was
show a little professional courtesy to the bartender. They
were in the same line of work after all.
Craig snorted.
Okay, so slinging rail drinks and beer at a club full of
go-go boys and drag queens was hardly in the same league
as mixing fancy cocktails for Detroit‟s jet-setters, but
someday Craig hoped to be good enough to score a job at a
classy place like this.
Craig took another swig of his beer and scanned the
entrances to the bar for the hundredth time that evening,
but there was still no sign of Doug. He‟d overheard the
gossip queens at Gigi‟s saying that Doug went to the bar at
the Westin after work every Thursday, but Craig had no idea
when the man got off, and after two hours of waiting, he was
starting to wonder if maybe they‟d been wrong.
Not for the first time that evening, Craig seriously
considered forgetting all about his plan and running home to
his shitty little apartment. If he left now, no one would know
he‟d ever been there, and more importantly, Doug would
never know. But Craig just couldn‟t bring himself to do it.
The thought of another night counting the cracks in his
walls and the stains on his ceiling, alone because he was too
chicken to take a chance, made him feel like he was
suffocating and kept his butt glued to that barstool. He
couldn‟t go back there without at least trying, no matter how
nervous he was.
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Besides, what‟s the worst that could happen? Doug
could turn him down. That wouldn‟t be the end of the world,
would it?
Craig was startled out of his thoughts by the shrill
sound of giggling coming from the ladies at the end of the
bar. He followed their gazes to the far side of the room, just
in time to see Doug sit down at a table, and Craig‟s heart
leapt into his throat. He‟d never seen Doug in a suit before.
The man looked really good in a suit. Craig looked down at
his own clothes again and grimaced, his anxiety ratcheting
up another notch.
Craig looked away for a second to calm his nerves, and
he noticed that the two ladies weren‟t the only ones checking
Doug out. Craig couldn‟t blame them. Doug was just the
kind of guy that people noticed. It wasn‟t that he was overly
tall or model perfect or anything, he just seemed to have an
aura about him or something. Craig couldn‟t really explain
it, but it didn‟t seem to matter if it was men or women, when
Doug entered a room, heads always turned.
Craig looked back at the man in question in time to see
Doug flash the server his million-dollar smile and order a
drink. Craig didn‟t have to read his lips to know what Doug
asked for: a desert-dry martini with two olives. Doug had
ordered that same drink from him every Friday night for the
past two years, and Craig could probably make it in his sleep
by now. Even from the very beginning, Craig had always
taken extra care to get Doug‟s drink just right, and that
should have been his first clue that maybe there was more to
his feelings for the man than he‟d ever thought possible.
Craig was straight… or at least he‟d thought he was
until he‟d met Doug.
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Working in a gay bar for the last couple of years had
given Craig plenty of opportunities to explore that side of the
fence if he‟d ever wanted to, but he‟d never even been
tempted, not once, except for Doug. He‟d never had a crush
on a guy before, so it took him a while to admit to it, but
now, given the cluster-fuck that was his personal life, Craig
desperately needed to see how far those feelings went.
He signaled the bartender and ordered a shot of tequila
and another beer. He threw back the shot and paid his tab
before gathering his courage and his beer and heading for
Doug‟s table. He felt the ladies at the bar eyeing him as he
passed, but he just ignored them and focused on his target.
His heart was thumping hard in his chest by the time
he reached the table, and Doug raised curious blue eyes to
meet his, but he managed to keep his voice light and even.
“Hey Doug. How are you?”
Craig was relieved to see recognition flash in Doug‟s
eyes a moment before they widened in surprise. Doug‟s face
split in a smile that never failed to warm Craig all the way to
his toes, even though he knew Doug bestowed that smile on
everyone.
“I‟m pretty good. Craig, isn‟t it? From Gigi‟s?”
“Yes, you remember.”
“How could I forget one of my favorite bartenders?” Doug
laughed.
Maybe it was just that he was crushing like a schoolgirl
on the dude, but Craig had always felt that Doug had a
really great laugh. It was deep and warm and seemed to
wrap around you like a blanket.
Craig swallowed hard against the sudden dryness in his
throat. “Do you mind if I sit down?”
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A puzzled frown crossed the man‟s face for a second,
and Craig wasn‟t surprised to see it. Doug had to be
wondering what the hell Craig was doing there. They weren‟t
friends. They‟d never shared anything that could even be
called a conversation. A few words shouted over the music at
the club while Craig made his drink hardly made them even
“hey”
friends,
so
his
confusion
was
definitely
understandable.
“I‟m meeting someone in a little while, but….” Doug
paused, smiled, and shrugged. “Sure, why not? I‟ve got a few
minutes before he comes.”
Craig was a little disappointed to hear the man already
had plans, but elated that he got at least that far.
“Thanks,” Craig said as he sat down, taking the seat
next to Doug instead of the one across from him. The man
raised his eyebrows but didn‟t comment.
“So uh, how have been?” Craig asked. “We haven‟t seen
you much at the club lately. I think last Friday was the first
time in weeks that you‟ve been in.”
Doug relaxed back in his seat.
“I‟ve been good. I‟ve had to do a lot of traveling for work
lately, so I haven‟t had much time for play. And you?”
“Oh, I‟ve been good too.”
Doug took a sip from his martini and crossed his legs.
He was smiling, looking perfectly at ease, but Craig could tell
the man was waiting for him to explain himself.
Craig licked his lips nervously. He hadn‟t really meant it
as a tease, but when Doug‟s eyes dropped to his mouth for a
second before rising back up, Craig felt a little thrill of
excitement run down his spine. He looked away and took a
swig of his beer for courage. When he turned back, Doug was
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still studying him, but it was clear from his expression that
he was beginning to lose patience, interest, or both.
“Craig. Is there something you wanted to talk about?”
Doug asked.
Craig dropped a hand under the table and pinched
himself hard on the leg. He was being stupid. He was a
grown man, for chrissakes. This shouldn‟t be so hard. He
took another swig of his beer to wet his parched throat
before setting it down on the table.
“Yeah. I‟m sorry. This is just a little off the reservation
for me, so I‟m a little nervous.”
“Okay.”
Doug‟s voice, when he wasn‟t shouting over house
music, was calm and assured, just as Craig had always
imagined it would be, and Craig felt himself relaxing. He
could do this. It was just one question.
“I just wanted to ask you if you would ever consider
hooking up with me… you know, for a trick?”
Doug showed no obvious signs of shock at the odd
request, and at least he didn‟t laugh, but he did lean forward
and raise his eyebrows a little.
“Are you asking me for sex?”
Doug‟s voice was quiet and his tone only mildly curious,
but Craig still felt his cheeks heat.
“Yes. I mean… I know you don‟t date or anything, and
I‟ve never seen you with the same guy twice at the club, not
that that‟s any of my business, and I‟m not asking for a
date… just, a couple of hours or a night, if you want. You
know, no strings. I know you‟re moving to Chicago at the end
of the month, and you‟re probably busy, but I figured if I was
going to ask I‟d better do it soon so….”
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Craig realized he was babbling and closed his mouth
with a snap.
Again, thankfully, Doug just looked a little confused, not
amused, by his botched come-on.
“I thought you were straight,” Doug said.
Craig laughed nervously.
“So did I, but I guess you‟re an exception.”
He shrugged and tried to meet Doug‟s eyes. It wasn‟t
easy. Now that it was all out on the table, he was starting to
feel like a real idiot. Especially since Doug still hadn‟t
answered him.
“Why now, all of a sudden?” Doug asked. “You‟ve
worked at Gigi‟s for almost two years, right? I‟ve been there
nearly every weekend of that time, and you‟ve never even so
much as winked at me.”
Craig looked away, picked his beer back up and started
fiddling with the label on the bottle. “Like I said, I heard you
were moving, and I figured I‟d miss my chance if I didn‟t ask
now. Besides that, I had a girlfriend up until about six
months ago.”
Doug sat back in his chair and sipped at his martini for
a little while, long enough for Craig to start to feel a little
nauseated.
When the silence got to be too much Craig said, “Look, if
you aren‟t interested, that‟s cool. It‟s no big deal. I just
thought I‟d ask.”
He tried very hard to sound like he couldn‟t care less,
but he wasn‟t sure he succeeded. When he pushed his chair
back so he could stand up, Doug set his martini down and
leaned forward again, pinning him in place with those
intense blue eyes.
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“I didn‟t say I wasn‟t interested, but if it was no big deal
then why did you come all the way here instead of asking me
at the club? I‟m guessing this isn‟t one of your usual
hangouts, since I‟ve never seen you here before.”
Craig was grateful that Doug didn‟t mention the fact
that it was fairly obvious he didn‟t belong here, either.
“I‟m not allowed to hit on the customers when I‟m
working,” he hedged.
Doug sighed and frowned a little, obviously not liking
his answer, and Craig shifted uncomfortably in his seat.
“I‟m sorry. I shouldn‟t have done this. This was a bad
idea. Forget I asked and I‟ll see you at the club, okay?”
Craig stood to go, but Doug‟s voice stopped him.
“Craig?”
“Yeah?”
“I‟ll think about it, okay?”
“Yeah, sure, whatever. I‟m sorry for bothering you. Have
a good night.”
Craig‟s face was on fire and his self-confidence was
somewhere down around his ankles, but he managed to
walk out of the bar with his head up and his shoulders back.
He waited until he got on the bus to drop his head in his
hands and groan in humiliation. He got off a couple of blocks
before his stop to hit the liquor store before walking the rest
of the way to his apartment building. He might spend the
rest of the night staring at the cracks in his walls, but he‟d
be damned if he‟d do it sober.
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Rowan McAllister
| 10
Chapter Two
D
OUG
sipped at his martini and let the house music at
Gigi‟s wash over him. It was Friday night, and he was in his
usual spot by the wall, watching a couple of twinks vie for
his attention on the dance floor, but he just couldn‟t dredge
up any enthusiasm for them tonight. He‟d been coming to
this club for years, weekend after weekend, hook-up after
hook-up. There were new faces every week, new guys to fuck,
but it was still the same old scene, and he was bored, bored
with the scene, bored with the music, bored with the twinks,
bored, bored, bored. It was one of the many reasons why he
was transferring to Chicago. He hoped that a new city and a
new scene might jumpstart his joie de vivre.
Maybe he was just getting too old for the club scene.
Doug rejected the thought as quickly as it formed. What
was he going to do instead, settle down and get married?
Build a little love-nest for two?
God, someone shoot me first.
At thirty-six, he was still in good shape. He still worked
out five times a week. He still had his hair. He still had as
many offers as he‟d always had, and judging from the twinks
still eyeing him from the dance floor, he‟d have a few more
before the night was through. There was nothing wrong with
him that a change in scenery wouldn‟t cure.
Doug sighed and glanced over at the bar where Craig
was busy filling glasses and fending off drunken, overly
enthusiastic queens. At least Craig wasn‟t boring. There had
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always been something about the guy that Doug liked—and
not just because he made a damned perfect martini—but
Doug just wasn‟t sure that it was a good idea to mess
around with him.
Craig‟s proposal wasn‟t the first time he‟d been hit on by
a supposedly “straight” man, but it was the first time he
actually believed the line he was being fed. In all the time
Craig had worked at Gigi‟s, Doug had never heard of him
accepting even so much as a blowjob from any of his willing
and eager customers.
So why was he hopping the fence now?
Doug couldn‟t say he wasn‟t tempted. Craig was
definitely hot. He had thick, sandy blond hair, soulful green
eyes, and a sweet, dimpled smile. The piercings in his
eyebrow and ears and the tattoos running up his arms and
peeking out from the neck of his T-shirt added an edge to his
boyish good looks that was undeniably sexy, but caution
screamed that there was more to Craig‟s offer than just a
good fuck, no matter what the young man claimed, and
Doug wasn‟t looking for anything else.
Doug continued to watch Craig while he finished his
martini. When his glass was empty, he decided to just go
home and worry about it another night. Maybe he‟d wait
until right before he left for Chicago to take Craig up on his
offer. That way, there‟d be no doubts whatsoever that it
would only be a one-off, and he wouldn‟t have to worry about
any emotional fallout afterward because he‟d be three
hundred miles away.
He left the club at about midnight, and when he got
home, he took a shower, threw on a robe, and sat in front of
his computer for while. He told himself that he was going to
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check work e-mail, but mostly he just stared at the screen,
thinking about Craig.
Why not?
That was the question that was tops on his mind. Other
than some vague unease about Craig‟s emotional state,
which was really none of his business, Doug couldn‟t come
up with a real reason not to. Craig was a big boy. He knew
Doug‟s reputation. He‟d said so himself. If Craig balked in
the middle, Doug would respect that and back off. Doug
could think of worse people than himself to be the guy‟s first
time. He would never hurt Craig or force him to do
something he didn‟t want. The same couldn‟t be said for
everyone out there—his own first time was a prime example
of that—so really, why not?
Doug made himself some coffee and got dressed in a
pair of jeans and a sweater. It wasn‟t his usual club wear,
but he didn‟t think Craig would mind. He pulled his leather
coat back on against the chill of late fall in Detroit and drove
back to the club, arriving in the parking lot just as Gigi‟s was
closing up for the night. When he spotted Craig coming out
the back door with some of the bouncers, he got out of his
car and walked partway across the lot, stopping about ten
feet away from them.
Craig noticed him immediately and stopped in his
tracks. The bouncers stopped talking and swung around,
eyeing him cautiously. The bigger of the two, Eric, recognized
him after only a second and waved.
“Hey man. What are you doing back so late and all by
yourself?”
Doug had fucked Eric a couple of times when neither
one of them had found anyone else of interest, and Doug
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considered him as close to a friend as he got at Gigi‟s. He
smiled lazily at the man.
“I‟m here to talk to my favorite bartender.”
Eric‟s thick eyebrows rose to his hairline as he turned
back to look at Craig. It was dark, but Doug would have bet
money that Craig‟s face was bright red at that moment.
“All righty then,” Eric said, “I guess we‟ll be leaving you
two alone. Come on, Ted.”
Eric grabbed the other bouncer‟s arm, dragging him
across the parking lot. Doug watched them go with a smile.
He and Craig would probably be number one on the gossip
mill by tomorrow night. When he turned back, Craig was
walking toward him.
“Hey,” Craig said, shoving his hands into his leather
jacket and stopping a few feet away.
“Hey, yourself.”
“What are you doing here? I thought you went home.”
“I did. I came back.”
Craig scuffed his boot in the loose gravel of a pothole.
His eyes were firmly fixed on the ground.
“Why?”
“I told you I‟d think about what you asked, and I have.”
Craig looked up at him.
“And?”
“And, I‟m saying yes, conditionally.”
“Meaning?”
“Meaning I‟d like to ask you a few things first, but I‟d
rather be someplace a little warmer when I do it.”
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Doug raised his eyebrows and quirked a smile. Craig‟s
shoulders visibly relaxed and he chuckled.
“Yeah, okay. I live around the corner. It‟s a shitty little
place compared to what you‟re probably used to, but it‟s
warm. The parking lot‟s gated, but I can‟t guarantee your
car‟s safety, not in this neighborhood.”
Doug felt his smile widen. Craig was cute, trying to look
after him like that.
“Don‟t worry about it. That‟s what insurance is for.”
When Craig led him into his apartment building a short
while later, Doug had to admit that Craig was right. It was
definitely not what he was used to. The building was
obviously old and rundown. The elevator smelled faintly of
cigarette smoke and a few other things that Doug didn‟t want
to identify. He didn‟t say anything, but he was careful not to
touch the walls or anything else he didn‟t have to.
At least Craig‟s apartment was on the top floor, so he
didn‟t have to worry about what was living above him. It was
a tiny one bedroom with ancient beige carpeting and dingy
vinyl vertical blinds. Craig‟s furniture was secondhand and a
little shabby, but he obviously took pains to keep the place
as clean as it could be.
“Do you want a beer?” Craig asked as he walked into the
tiny kitchen and pulled a bottle out of the refrigerator.
“Sure.” He really didn‟t want the beer, but Craig looked
like he needed one, so Doug accepted it to be polite.
Doug draped his coat over the back of the lumpy couch
and took a seat, waiting for Craig to join him. Craig returned
from the kitchen a moment later, handed him the beer, and
set his down on the coffee table before taking off his own
jacket and sitting in the small wood chair next to the couch.
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Doug relaxed against the back of the couch, waiting for
Craig to make the first move. The younger man looked tense,
but this was his place and his show, so Doug wasn‟t going to
push.
“So you had some things you wanted to ask me?” Craig
said, after a little while.
“Yes. I guess first would be: have you ever done
anything at all with a man before?”
Craig flushed a little and shook his head.
“Nothing? Not even kissing? A little experimenting in
school… a circle jerk?”
“No.”
That seemed a little unusual for a guy who chose to
work at a gay bar, but not unheard of, he supposed.
“Okay,” Doug said. “I know I asked you this before, but I
don‟t think you gave me the whole answer. Why now?”
Craig shrugged but didn‟t make eye contact. “Like I
said. I heard you were moving soon so I figured it was now or
never.”
“But why bother with a man at all? You‟re a good-
looking guy. You could go out and find a woman if you just
want your itch scratched. You don‟t have to jump the fence
for that.”
Craig bit his lip and fiddled with the label on his beer
bottle. “It‟s complicated.”
“Okay?”
Doug had already figured that one out on his own. He
just wanted to know how complicated. Craig looked up at
him then and gave him a slightly jaundiced smile.
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“I thought you guys just liked to fuck. Why do you need
a reason? I told you I wasn‟t asking for a date or anything.”
Doug sat forward a little on the couch and held Craig‟s
gaze.
“Yeah, „we guys‟ like to fuck, but I like to know that the
feeling is mutual, and if there‟s something else going on, I‟d
rather know about it before rather than after. I like you,
Craig. I think you‟re pretty hot and you‟re offering me sex, so
I‟m not going to say no, but you‟re asking me to pop your
man-cherry here, so I want to understand what‟s going on a
little better.”
Craig choked on his swallow of beer and coughed a few
times. When he looked up, his eyes were watering and his
cheeks were scarlet. “Man-cherry?”
Doug grinned and leaned back again. “I thought,
working in a gay bar, you might have picked up a little about
how it works. You know I‟m a top, right? I assumed you
knew what you were asking for.”
Craig turned an even darker shade of red and looked
away. “Yeah. I guess I knew that. I just don‟t really think of
myself as a virgin.” Craig took a deep breath and let it out,
chugged the rest of his beer, and set the bottle on the table.
“Look, I didn‟t want to bring this up because I hoped it
wouldn‟t be an issue, but I guess you deserve some
explanation. I told you I broke up with my girlfriend about
six months ago? Well, she fucked me up kind of bad, even
before she left, and I haven‟t been in very good shape since.”
“Okay?”
Craig grimaced like he‟d hoped that would be enough to
satisfy him. “Shelly, my ex, liked to throw things: hissy fits,
bottles, her fists, you name it… she was a slap and pinch
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first, ask questions later kind of woman, like my mom.”
Craig‟s lips twisted into a bitter smile, and he started
running his fingers over the tattoo of a dragonfly emerging
from an almond-shaped scar on his left forearm. “That
should have been my first red flag, but apparently I‟m
stupid. Anyway, we lived together for almost a year, and
when things got really bad, I stopped being able to step up to
the plate in the bedroom, if you know what I mean.” Craig
turned his hands up over his lap and gave Doug a pained
look, waiting until Doug nodded his understanding before
continuing. “I haven‟t even felt attracted to anyone since…
except for you.”
Craig dropped his eyes down to the floor and shrugged.
He sat hunched over on the little chair with his elbows on
his knees and his hands gripped tightly together in front of
him. Doug had no idea how to respond to that, so he latched
on to the only thing that was any of his business.
“You‟re saying I‟m the only person you‟ve been attracted
to in six months?”
When Craig nodded, Doug said, “And you‟re sure it‟s
sexual attraction you‟re feeling… not something else?”
Now Craig raised his head and looked at Doug out of the
corner of his eye. The young man gave him a wry smile.
“Let‟s just say, when I‟m thinking about you, things seem to
work just fine.”
Doug chuckled and let out a sigh. If Craig was okay
enough to joke about it, then Doug wouldn‟t press any
further. He liked to be up front with his tricks so there
weren‟t any misunderstandings, but anything more would be
poking where he really didn‟t need to go. He slid off the
couch and knelt next to Craig‟s chair. When he took the
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younger man‟s cold hands in his own, Craig started and
stared down at him with wide eyes.
“Okay,” Doug said, “I only need to know one more thing
and we can get down to the fun stuff.”
Doug reached up to cup Craig‟s face and drew him down
for a kiss. He teased the younger man‟s lips with gentle,
coaxing kisses until Craig opened for him, tilting his head
and leaning in to kiss him back. The kiss was a little
awkward at first. Craig couldn‟t seem to make up his mind
whether he wanted to lead or to follow. Every time Doug
backed off to allow him to have his way, Craig would back off
as well until Doug finally just decided to take control
whether Craig fought with him or not. Once he did, Craig
surrendered, making an odd, strangled noise at the back of
his throat, and things went much more smoothly.
Doug plunged his tongue into Craig‟s mouth, taking
total command of it. He sucked on Craig‟s tongue and
nibbled on his lips until Craig‟s hands came up and gripped
his upper arms tightly, pulling him closer, asking for more.
When Doug drew back to catch his breath, Craig‟s eyes were
heavy with lust and his breathing was labored.
Doug grinned. “I guess that answers that. Shall we slip
into somewhere more comfortable, or would you rather we
stay here?”
It took a minute for Craig‟s eyes to clear, which didn‟t
hurt Doug‟s ego in the slightest. “I… the bedroom‟s better, I
think.”
Doug stood up and offered Craig his hand. The younger
man gave him another wry smile and took it, pulling himself
to his feet and leading the way into his bedroom.
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When Doug stepped through the door, he grabbed
Craig‟s shoulder and swung him around for another kiss but
stopped mid-pucker at the sight of Craig‟s bedroom. His
eyebrows shot up to his hairline, and his mouth twisted in
distaste as hideous lavender and bright yellow flowers
screamed at him from the quilted bedspread, lacey pillow
cases, and ruffled curtains. He turned to look at Craig in
surprise, and the younger man cringed.
“Don‟t say it. I know. It was the only thing my ex left
when she moved out, and I hate shopping for this kind of
shit. Do you want me to turn the light back off?”
Doug chuckled. “That won‟t be necessary. I‟ll just try to
ignore it. I‟m sure there‟ll be much better things for me to
look at anyway.”
Craig blushed and Doug pulled him in for another kiss.
Now that Craig had decided to relax a little, Doug was really
enjoying kissing Craig‟s firm, bow-shaped lips.
Doug stepped closer, pressing their bodies together and
teasing his hardness against Craig‟s. The man moaned into
his kiss and gripped Doug‟s upper arms again. Doug slid his
arms completely around Craig‟s back, hugging him even
closer and melding their bodies from chest to knees. Craig
seemed to enjoy the closeness, if the grinding of his hips
against Doug‟s was any indication, but he still hadn‟t let go
of his death grip on Doug‟s biceps.
Doug pulled back a little and cupped Craig‟s face in one
hand, gently caressing just under the man‟s ear with his
fingertips and running his thumb over his softly stubbled
cheek. Craig‟s green eyes, dark with need and maybe a little
uncertainty, rose to meet his, and Doug smiled reassuringly.
“You can touch me anywhere you like, Craig.”
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The grip on his arms eased and slid up to his shoulders.
“Sorry. I guess I‟m a little more nervous than I thought.
This feels different… but good. I‟m just not sure how you
guys handle the logistics.”
“Same as with any lover,” Doug said as he leaned in to
nibble on Craig‟s neck. “We play around and explore a little
and find out what the other person likes best.”
Doug nibbled up to one of the hoops in Craig‟s ear and
began sucking on it, teasing the silver and flesh with his
tongue. “You said you didn‟t have any problems functioning
when you thought about me. What was I doing to you in
those fantasies?”
Craig‟s body trembled a little when Doug went back to
working his earlobe. Sensitive. Doug liked sensitive, so much
more fun to play with.
Craig moaned, then cleared his throat. “Kissing,
touching I guess.”
Doug continued kissing his ear and neck but dropped
his hands to run them down Craig‟s sides.
“Anything else?”
Craig moaned and pushed himself closer, begging for
more touch, but he didn‟t answer the question, so Doug
pulled back and looked into his eyes.
“Come on, Craig. You got me here. I‟m willing and eager
to fulfill your fantasies, but you have to at least give me a
hint.”
Craig took a deep breath and let it out. His brows knit
like he was in pain, and Doug started regretting that he‟d
pushed instead of just letting things happen naturally.
“What I really want? I want…. Shit. This isn‟t something
I‟ve ever admitted to anyone before.”
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That had Doug curious.
“I‟m not the kiss and tell type, Craig. It‟s just you and
me here and I‟m enjoying myself so far. I‟m open to whatever
you want… within reason.”
Craig laughed a little nervously and dropped his eyes to
the floor. Doug watched the young man‟s Adam‟s apple bob
as he swallowed.
“What I really want is for someone else to drive for a
while.” Craig‟s voice was barely more than a whisper.
“You want me to drive?”
“Yes.”
Doug studied Craig‟s face for a minute. He was probably
going to regret this, but he felt compelled to say, “You know,
there are women out there who would do that for you. Plenty
of women who would kill for the chance to dominate you if
that‟s what you want. You don‟t need a man for that.”
Craig shook his head.
“That‟s not what I mean. I don‟t really want to be
dominated. I don‟t want some dominatrix or bear in leather
chaps to put a dog collar on me or anything like that. I just
don‟t want to be in charge. I don‟t want to be the one who‟s
responsible for everything. Am I making any sense?”
Doug slid his hands up Craig‟s back and gripped his
neck firmly in one hand. He used his other to lift Craig‟s chin
and smiled into his eyes. “I‟ll drive until you tell me to put on
the brakes, okay?”
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Chapter Three
C
RAIG
felt some of the tension leave his shoulders as he
nodded.
This was what he wanted, right? This was why he‟d gone
after Doug in the first place. Doug was older. He was
confident and assured in a way that Craig knew he could
never be. He was taller and broader, not by much, but
enough to give Craig the illusion of security so that he could
allow himself to be led.
When Doug turned that cocky smile on him, Craig could
almost feel the surge of heat roll through his body. Nerves
and the strangeness of the situation had kept him only half-
hard up until that point, making him wonder if he could
actually go through with this, but the second he finally
admitted his most secret fantasy and Doug simply accepted
it without so much as a blink, he was rock hard and ready to
go.
Doug pulled him in for another deep kiss, and for the
first time in his life, Craig let himself melt into someone
else‟s strength. Every muscle in his body relaxed, and
tension he hadn‟t even known he was carrying flowed away
like water as he molded himself against Doug‟s body and let
the man do whatever he wanted.
Doug‟s hands slid down to his waist and tugged his T-
shirt free from his jeans, and Craig raised his arms above his
head so the older man could pull it off. Craig watched Doug‟s
eyes warm with appreciation as he skimmed his fingers over
Craig‟s torso and arms, tracing the muscles and the designs
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inked into his flesh. Craig had never had a lover who looked
at him like that before: like he was a combination of dessert,
favorite toy, and helpless prey all bundled together. It made
his breath hitch in his chest and sent another surge of blood
to his groin.
“These are incredibly sexy,” Doug said as he continued
to trace the tattoos on Craig‟s arms and chest.
“Thanks,” he whispered as goose bumps rose all over his
body.
The gentleness of Doug‟s caresses and the naked heat in
the man‟s eyes were driving Craig crazy. He had to admit
this was so much better than what he‟d expected. This
wasn‟t going to be a quick, hot, and heavy fuck. It looked like
Doug was planning to seduce him, and Craig was so ready to
be seduced.
Doug explored Craig‟s body for what felt like forever. The
man‟s hands were big and warm, definitely not like a
woman‟s, even though they were soft since Doug wasn‟t
exactly the manual labor type. Doug caressed him, dragged
his nails across his flesh, thumbed his nipples until they
were aching and hard, and all sorts of other sweet torture
that had Craig panting and trembling with impatience, but
he was not going to backseat drive no matter how much his
dick ached for attention.
Just as he managed to rein in his impatience and slip
into a kind of zone where he was just floating on sensation,
Doug dipped his head suddenly and sucked one of Craig‟s
nipples into his mouth. Craig had never paid all that much
attention to his nipples. Sure, he‟d tweaked them a bit when
he jacked off, and he‟d liked it when his girlfriends played
with them a little, but he‟d never thought he could come just
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from having them sucked on. Craig moaned and fisted his
hands at his sides, trying to will his balls back down.
“Very nice,” Doug murmured as the man stepped back
to admire his handiwork.
When Craig looked down, his nipples were red and
glistening with saliva. He gasped when Doug rolled them
with the heels of his palms before sliding his hands down to
Craig‟s waist. Doug undid the top button of his jeans and
pulled the zipper down, allowing Craig‟s dick some room to
breathe, but he didn‟t push them down the rest of the way
like Craig expected. Instead he held on to the waistband and
ran his thumbs in maddening circles around Craig‟s belly
button, tracing the curving rays of the sun tattoo that
surrounded his navel.
“You know, I saw part of this one once when you were
working,” Doug said casually, as if his hands weren‟t inches
away from the wet spot spreading on Craig‟s briefs. “The
shirt you were wearing rode up when you reached for
something, and I caught just a glimpse of it peeking out of
your jeans. I fantasized once or twice about what the rest
must look like and how far down it went.”
Doug didn‟t give Craig a chance to respond, even if the
tightness in his chest would have let him. The man just
suddenly dropped to his knees and slid the tip of his tongue
along the skin between Craig‟s navel and his underwear,
tracing the lines of the tattoo as his fingers had done. Doug‟s
mouth was so close to where Craig wanted it that he could
feel the heat of the man‟s breath ghosting over his dick
through the thin cotton of his briefs. He was so distracted by
that and the man‟s tongue on his skin that Doug had his
boots untied and off and his jeans pulled down to his ankles
before Craig realized the significance of that.
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Oh God. He was nearly naked with another man at eye
level with his dick.
As that sank in, Craig started breathing so hard that he
was afraid he might hyperventilate, but he was still a little
disappointed when Doug rose to his feet again, until the
man‟s next words chased that away and made him stop
breathing altogether.
“Lie down.”
The slight tone of command in Doug‟s now rough voice
made Craig‟s dick even harder, if that was possible. He did
as he was told, climbing to the middle of the mattress and
lying on his back, watching and waiting to see what Doug
would do next. The older man gave him another one of those
sexy smiles as his gaze skimmed over Craig‟s body, and then
his deep blue eyes locked on Craig‟s as he began undressing
himself.
Doug kicked off his shoes, pulled his sweater over his
head, and stripped out of his jeans and socks quickly. It was
the first sign of impatience the man had shown, and Craig
felt his heart leap in his chest at the realization that Doug
was just as into this as he was. Craig reached down and
palmed his dick through his underwear as the man‟s hard,
toned body was revealed. It was obvious that Doug worked
out. Every inch of him was lean and well defined. Craig
shook his head a little in wonder. If anyone had told him two
years ago that the sight of a nearly naked man would have
gotten him this hard, he‟d have punched them in the face,
but there was no denying the way his cock pulsed in his
hand as Doug slowly crawled over to him across the bed.
Doug was still in his black boxer-briefs. Craig wasn‟t
sure if that was for his benefit or not, but he could have told
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the man it wasn‟t necessary. He‟d been thinking and
fantasizing about this for more than six months, and there
was no way he was going to back out now.
Doug stretched out along his side and leaned in to kiss
him again. The kiss was sensual and lazy, as if Doug had all
the time in the world, despite the raging hard-on Craig felt
against his hip. When Doug finally slid his hand down
Craig‟s chest and into his briefs to cup his balls, Craig
moaned in relief and flexed his hips into that warm grip. The
man fondled him just as lazily as he kissed, giving him
pleasure but not enough to make him come, and Craig was
panting and moaning by the time Doug pulled back.
“Lift your hips.” The strain in Doug‟s voice amped
Craig‟s need yet another notch.
He lifted his hips and helped Doug remove his
underwear. He was completely naked now and riding a wave
of adrenaline that was mostly lust with only a hint of anxiety
about what he knew was coming.
“Lube?” Doug asked as he wrapped a hand around
Craig‟s cock.
Craig‟s nerves kicked in a little more as he fumbled in
the drawer of his nightstand without taking his eyes off
Doug. He handed the bottle and a condom over with hands
that shook only a little. His stomach muscles tensed in
anticipation, but he took a deep breath and lifted a knee,
spreading his legs a little to show both of them that he was
still willing. Doug smiled and set the supplies down on the
bed.
“Not yet. I think I want you a little more relaxed.”
Doug slid down the bed and settled between his legs.
Craig propped himself up on his elbows and watched as the
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man leaned in and licked from the base of his cock to the
head. Craig gasped and let his head fall back, closing his
eyes.
“Oh God yes. Relaxed is good,” Craig moaned.
Doug chuckled, and because he happened to be sucking
and tonguing the base of Craig‟s dick, the sound sent all
kinds of sensations zinging through Craig‟s body. Craig
gasped and involuntarily flexed his hips, fisting his hands at
his sides. He felt one of Doug‟s hands on his hip a moment
later, pressing down firmly and holding him as the man
gripped the base of his dick with the other and sucked him
down.
Wet heat and strong suction surrounded him, and Craig
went from riding a lazy river of pleasure tinged with nerves
back to being on the verge of popping in seconds. Doug
wasn‟t playing around this time. There was no teasing. He
was trying to suck Craig‟s brains out through his dick, and
he was succeeding beautifully. It took only seconds before
his balls drew up.
“I‟m close.” Craig managed to gasp out the warning,
knowing he wouldn‟t be able to talk pretty soon.
Doug pulled off and replaced his mouth with his hand,
stroking hard. The hand on his hip disappeared, but Craig
barely noticed because Doug‟s mouth had moved to his
balls. The man was sucking and licking at them as he
worked Craig‟s shaft. Craig tried to hold out, to make the
pleasure last, but when he felt Doug slip a wet finger into his
ass, he lost it. His whole body jerked and he shot all over his
stomach and chest. The fist on his dick and the finger in his
ass continued to stroke him through his orgasm, sending
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little aftershocks through his body until he had nothing
more to give and collapsed on the mattress.
He lay there panting for several seconds as Doug finally
let go of his cock but kept the finger moving inside his ass.
When he was able to sit up and look down his body again,
Doug was grinning up at him. That cocky smile never looked
hotter, but it was the man‟s words that caused an odd
fluttering in Craig‟s chest.
“You really are beautiful when you come.” Doug put his
hand on Craig‟s hip and propped his chin on it while his
finger continued to slide in and out of his ass. The man was
watching him with an intensity that would have left him
breathless, if he‟d had any air in his lungs to start with.
“You‟re a very attractive man all the time, as I‟m sure you
realize, but when you let go, you‟re quite extraordinarily
beautiful.”
Craig closed his eyes and moaned as Doug stroked over
his prostate. The man shouldn‟t say things like that when
Craig was still humming on the best orgasm he‟d had in
years. It wasn‟t fair. This was just a one-time thing, but
words like that were very likely to make him wish for more
than Doug was willing or able to give and definitely more
than he was ready to accept after the nightmare of his last
relationship.
Thankfully, Doug didn‟t say anything more, and soon
the sound of the lube cap being popped open was enough to
distract him completely. His ass clenched around the finger
inside him, just thinking about what was to come. Doug
must have felt it, because when he spoke again, his voice
had become soft and soothing.
“We‟re going to go real slow. I‟m in no hurry.”
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Craig opened his eyes again, looked down at the raging
hard-on barely concealed by Doug‟s boxer briefs, and raised
his eyebrows. Doug laughed. “I didn‟t say I wasn‟t looking
forward to a little relief, but if it takes a while, I‟ll live.”
Doug sat up a little then, and Craig raised his other
knee to give the man better access. Craig reminded himself
that the twinks at the bar raved about what a good fuck
Doug was. Doug would make it good. Craig was sure of that.
He just had to relax and let the man work.
When Doug slid a second finger inside him, Craig
groaned a little in discomfort. The older man rose up and
kissed him deeply, distracting him and allowing him to get
used to the stretch. As Doug sucked on his tongue, he
fingered Craig‟s prostate until Craig felt his blood heating
again and his dick stirring between his legs. He wasn‟t quite
ready to spring back just yet, but if Doug kept working him
the way he was, it wouldn‟t be long.
When Doug ended the kiss, he smiled down at Craig.
“Roll over.”
Doug withdrew his fingers, and Craig actually found
himself missing them inside his body. Craig rolled over onto
his stomach, and Doug pulled him up to his hands and
knees on the mattress. It felt a little weird having Doug
behind him like that. Craig felt incredibly vulnerable all of a
sudden. It was stupid. He‟d just had the man‟s fingers in his
ass, and he knew what was going to happen, but kneeling on
the bed with his legs spread and all of his most private parts
exposed was the most, well, naked he‟d ever felt.
Doug didn‟t leave him hanging there for long though.
Soon enough the man was draped over him like a blanket,
and his hands and lips were everywhere, sliding over his
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back and up into his hair, kissing and nipping at his neck
and down his spine. Doug was in total control of Craig‟s
body, and Craig was loving it.
The lube cap snapped again, and a cool trickle slid
down his crack. He suppressed a shiver and waited,
expecting to be penetrated at any moment, but Doug‟s hands
slid around to the front of his body instead and started
tweaking and rolling his nipples as the man‟s warm weight
settled over Craig‟s back again. Craig felt the soft prickle of
Doug‟s trimmed bush a moment before the man worked his
cock between the cheeks of his ass, lightly teasing over his
hole and sliding down to nudge at his balls, but not pushing
in.
When Doug moaned in his ear, Craig thought the sound
was so sexy that he wanted to do anything he could to make
the man do it again. He couldn‟t do much from the position
he was in except grind his ass against the other man‟s dick,
so that was what he did. Doug moaned again and drew back
seconds before Craig felt fingers at his opening. Doug‟s other
hand cupped his balls and rolled them gently as the fingers
worked inside again. Doug‟s hand then moved to his dick
and stroked him to full hardness as a third finger was
pushed inside. Craig grunted at the overload of sensation
but wasn‟t above begging for more.
“Please, Doug. Please. I‟m ready. More than ready.”
“Oh God yes,” Doug whispered, and the fingers left his
body. A moment later Craig heard the crinkle of the condom
wrapper, and then Doug was pressed against his hole.
“Relax, baby, and push out.”
Craig tried to do what he was told, but Doug‟s cock was
a lot different from his fingers. Craig‟s dick deflated a little as
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his world narrowed to the stretch and fullness in his ass, but
Doug was true to his word and took things slow,
withdrawing a little whenever Craig tensed up, and before he
knew it, Doug‟s balls were brushing his own. Craig was
panting like he‟d just run a marathon, and Doug didn‟t
sound any better off. When Doug shifted a little inside him,
Craig let out a low moan.
“You okay?” Doug whispered against the back of his
neck.
“Yeah. I just… wow.”
Doug chuckled, and since the man was draped across
his back and buried deep inside of him, Craig felt it inside
and out. The moan he let out that time was pure pleasure as
Doug slid out a few inches and slid slowly back in, just
barely grazing his prostate. Craig dipped his hips, chasing
that pleasure, so the next slow glide hit it dead on.
“Oh shit yes,” he cried as he felt himself growing hard
again.
“There it is,” Doug said with another chuckle, but the
man was working his ass steadily now, and Craig was so
caught up in sensation he barely heard.
Craig had done research online and experimented some
with his fingers when he‟d decided that this was what he
wanted, but there was no comparison between his own
clumsy attempts and being worked by a man with as much
experience as Doug. It was amazing, and Craig just
surrendered to it. Doug was in charge; all he had to do was
let go, stop thinking, and just feel.
Craig dropped his head and elbows to the mattress and
reached for his cock. It was dripping all over Shelly‟s horrid
floral comforter, and a small corner of his mind took a
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perverse sort of pleasure from that fact. One of Doug‟s hands
joined his on his dick and started stroking as the man sat
back on his heels and fucked him harder.
“That‟s right, baby, stroke yourself. I want to feel you
come. You‟re so tight. You feel so good.”
Doug‟s words did exactly what they were intended to do,
and Craig felt a tingling start at the base of his spine.
“Shit.”
That was the best Craig could come up with at that
moment. He was glad Doug still had enough brain cells to
talk dirty to him, because it was really hot to hear the man‟s
voice all strained and rough and to know it was because of
him. Craig fisted himself harder, egged on by Doug‟s praise,
and Doug sped up his thrusts in reaction. Soon, Craig was
moaning and thrashing his head on the mattress so much
that he barely noticed when Doug‟s hand left his on his cock.
However, he did notice when that hand clamped down hard
on the back of his neck and pushed his head further into the
pillows.
“Oh shit. Oh Fuck. Fuck!” Craig cried out, seconds
before he shot all over the comforter.
“Fuck!” Doug‟s cry echoed him a moment later, and his
hand moved to Craig‟s shoulder, holding him in place as he
pounded into him frantically, fucking him through his
orgasm.
Craig literally saw stars and nearly passed out as Doug
ground into him one last time and filled the condom inside
him. A second later, Doug draped himself over Craig‟s back
and wrapped an arm around his chest, holding them
together. It was a good thing Doug had the foresight to brace
his other arm on the mattress, because they probably would
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have ended up in a heap if it were left up to Craig to support
them. His arms and legs felt like jelly. Doug lay draped over
him while they both struggled to catch their breaths, but
before it got too uncomfortable, the man eased back and laid
a few gentle kisses on the back of Craig‟s neck.
“Are you okay?” Doug asked between kisses.
It was really sweet, the way the man kept checking in on
him. Craig had definitely made the right choice for his first
foray over the fence. He chuckled a little breathlessly. “Yeah.
I‟m good, real good.”
“I‟m glad.” Craig could almost hear that cocky smile in
the man‟s voice.
Doug pulled out and Craig collapsed to the mattress,
rolling onto his back in time to see Doug get up and head
out of the room. He heard water running, and Doug came
back with a washcloth that he tossed to Craig before
climbing back on the bed. Craig used it to clean up and gave
the comforter a cursory wipe before tossing the cloth toward
his hamper. He turned to Doug and gave the man a self-
conscious smile. Now that it was all over with, Craig was
feeling a little awkward and embarrassed. He had no idea
what to say, if he should ask Doug to stay or what, but Doug
saved him the trouble.
“Mind if I crash for a few hours before I drive home? I‟m
beat.”
The man had just fucked the hell out of him and was
lying completely naked on his bed, but you‟d never know it
from Doug‟s face. He looked as calm and relaxed as if they
were talking about the weather over a cup of coffee in a
restaurant.
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“No problem,” Craig said, trying to sound just as cool
and collected. He was too tired for any kind of emotional
inventory anyway. He‟d worked all night and just had the
best sex in years, so sleep was probably the only thing that
he could handle.
He stumbled out of bed to use the bathroom and pulled
his underwear back on. By the time he got back to the bed,
Doug was already curled up beneath the comforter with his
eyes closed, lightly snoring. Craig turned off the light and
slid in next to him. It was going to be a little weird sleeping
next to another man, but he had to admit it was kind of nice
not to be alone. That was the only thing that Craig actually
missed about living with Shelly.
Craig woke a few hours later to the feel of a warm hand
sliding down his chest and into his underwear. He moaned
when that hand wrapped around his morning wood and gave
a few lazy pumps. There was a deep chuckle behind him,
just before warm lips started kissing and nibbling on the
back of his neck.
“Good morning,” Doug murmured between kisses. Craig
flexed his hips, pumping into Doug‟s hand, pleasure
combining with a little pain as his ass reminded him of what
they‟d done the night before. He was definitely going to be a
bit sore today, but that wasn‟t a bad thing. Craig just hoped
Doug didn‟t want to fuck him again, because he wasn‟t sure
he was up for it.
“Roll toward me,” Doug said as he scooted back to give
Craig room.
When Craig was facing him, Doug cupped the back of
his head and kissed him deeply. As they kissed, Craig felt
Doug‟s thigh push between his legs and snug up against his
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balls as the man‟s hand slid back down to shove his
underwear out of the way and pump his cock. Craig felt
Doug‟s cock bump his own and reached down to return the
favor. It was weird touching another man‟s dick, but Craig
figured he‟d let the guy fuck him only a couple of hours ago,
so really, a bit of mutual masturbation wasn‟t that big of a
leap.
He squeezed Doug‟s cock and pumped his fist a few
times. The angle was a little awkward, but with Doug kissing
him and working him hard, Craig really didn‟t care. Soon
enough Craig was arching his back and shooting into Doug‟s
hand. He lost all rhythm on Doug‟s cock, but the man‟s hand
soon closed over his and stroked until he grunted and shot
into their fists.
“Now it‟s an excellent morning,” Doug said with a
breathless chuckle.
When Craig got his voice back, he looked into the man‟s
blue eyes and smiled in gratitude. Nothing like an orgasm to
start the day right and fill any awkward silences.
“Yes it is,” he agreed, “Do you want some coffee?”
Doug stretched like a big satisfied cat and grinned.
“Coffee would be wonderful.”
“I might have some eggs or something if you want
breakfast.”
“Just coffee will be fine.”
Craig rolled out of bed and made his way to the
bathroom to get cleaned up. Some of his muscles were stiff,
and his ass definitely ached, but he was feeling pretty good,
at least physically. Any soul-searching would have to wait
until after he‟d had some coffee though, so he ought to be
good until Doug left.
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Craig finished washing up and wrapped a towel around
his waist before heading to the kitchen. He heard Doug in
the bathroom a moment later, and the man walked into the
kitchen fully dressed just as the pot finished brewing.
Craig made him a cup, and Doug walked over to the
couch to sit down. Craig poured himself a cup and sat in the
same wood chair he had the night before. They drank in
silence for a while, but Craig could feel the weight of Doug‟s
eyes on him.
“You‟re okay, right? You‟re not going to freak out on me
or anything?” Doug finally asked, and Craig laughed.
“No. I won‟t freak out on you. I promised no strings, and
I meant it.”
“Okay. I just wanted to make sure we were okay.”
Craig smiled. “Yeah. We‟re okay.”
Doug returned his smile and relaxed against the back of
the couch. He sipped at his coffee for a little while before
stretching and rubbing his hands across his morning
stubble. Craig had to suppress a little shiver at the memory
of what that stubble had felt like on the back of his neck.
“What time is it?” Doug asked.
Craig glanced at the clock on the microwave.
“A little after noon.”
Doug nodded and sighed. “I should probably get going
then.”
The older man stood and took his cup to the sink. Craig
followed and stood near the front door to see him out. He
wasn‟t quite sure what to say, so he just stood there and
waited. Doug grabbed his jacket off the back of the couch
and walked up to him, smiling. Before Craig could come up
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with an appropriate goodbye, Doug pulled him in for a deep
kiss.
“Thanks for the coffee,” he said when he pulled back.
“No problem.” Craig cleared his throat. “So I‟ll see you at
the club tonight?”
Doug shook his head. “Probably not. I have a lot to do to
get ready to leave, and work‟s been crazy getting everything
ready for my transfer.”
“Oh. Yeah. I can understand that. Maybe next week
then.”
“Yeah, maybe.”
Craig fought the surge of disappointment that welled in
his chest. He wasn‟t a teenage girl. He knew what he was
getting into when he propositioned Doug. He didn‟t have any
right to feel hurt that Doug sounded like he was blowing him
off. He didn‟t even want a relationship right now, so what the
hell was wrong with him? Craig gritted his teeth and told
himself to be cool. He smiled at Doug and shrugged. “You
have to at least let your favorite bartender buy you one last
drink before you disappear for good.”
That made Doug smile. “Okay. I‟ll come back to Gigi‟s at
least once before I leave.” He gave Craig another little peck
on the lips and stepped back so Craig could let him out.
“See ya.”
“Bye.”
Craig closed the door, walked over to the couch, and
slumped onto it, letting out a whoosh of air and dropping his
head into his hands.
Okay, so maybe he was going to have a little freak-out
now.
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At least his night with Doug had proved to Craig that he
wasn‟t broken. Craig‟s dick had worked just fine. Of course,
he had also just let another man fuck him in the ass, and
he‟d loved every minute of it. So where the hell did that leave
him?
Was he bi now? Was he gay and he just hadn‟t realized
it before?
He had no fucking clue.
Craig hadn‟t expected Doug to fulfill his fantasies quite
so thoroughly. In hindsight, he probably should have, since
that was the reason he‟d picked Doug in the first place, but
now he had a bad feeling that he wasn‟t going to be satisfied
with anyone else… and Doug didn‟t do repeat performances.
Craig groaned into his hands. He was so fucked.
When he realized just how true that statement was, in
all senses of the word, Craig started to laugh. It had a little
hysterical edge to it, but he was alone and no one could hear
it, so he kept laughing until tears ran down his face and he
was hiccupping with each breath he tried to take in. He
wound down eventually and just sat on the couch breathing
for a while until he couldn‟t sit still anymore.
For the rest of the day, Craig wandered around in a fog.
He did laundry and all the other shit he had to do. He even
read for a while from his latest library book, but the weird
mush of feelings at the back of his head never really left him.
By the time he went to work that night, he knew the
only way to answer the questions rattling around in his head
was to find someone else who got his motor running. He
wasn‟t going to put any pressure on himself to go after
anyone. He‟d just scope the crowd at work for anyone, man
or woman, who attracted him. Now that he had a little more
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confidence in his ability to perform, he should have been
able to find someone who floated his boat, but as the night
wore on, he felt nothing. He kept comparing everyone to
Doug, and that wasn‟t helping matters any, but really, he
just wasn‟t interested in anyone else.
He went home that night dejected and feeling broken
again. He crawled into his bed, curled around the pillow that
still smelled like Doug, and only then did he feel his cock
twitch a little. He jerked off surrounded by Doug‟s scent and
memories of the night before and fell asleep to the realization
that he was indeed royally fucked, but what else was new?
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Chapter Four
D
OUG
pulled his car into the lot behind Gigi‟s and cut the
engine. It was after one in the morning on a Saturday night,
and he should have been on his way to bed with some
unknown, willing body by now instead of just coming out
with every intention of breaking one of his cardinal rules.
He‟d spent the whole week thinking about Craig. He
hadn‟t really wanted to. He should have been wrapping up
loose ends and getting ready for the move, but all too often
he‟d found his mind wandering back to the previous
weekend and the night they‟d spent together. He‟d even gone
out and picked up a couple of hook-ups during the week to
try to distract himself, but despite the fact that they were
both hot as hell and great fucks, it hadn‟t really worked.
He hated to admit it, but with Craig it wasn‟t just the
sex, though that had been pretty intense. Craig might have
been inexperienced, but he‟d still managed to push nearly all
of Doug‟s buttons. Craig was beautiful and so responsive to
every little touch that Doug couldn‟t help getting hard just
thinking about it. But what had made it so fucking hot and
had him coming back for more was Craig‟s emotional
intensity and vulnerability. Despite knowing Doug‟s
reputation, Craig had opened up and shared a part of
himself that Doug was pretty sure no one else had ever seen,
and yeah, Doug definitely got off on that.
It was a bad idea to hook up with Craig again. Doug
knew it. There were reasons why he didn‟t get involved with
his tricks. He was too selfish and too much of a workaholic
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to give anyone any kind of relationship. Craig‟s vulnerability
should have sent him running in the opposite direction
instead of drawing him in, but here he was, angling for
round two because he hadn‟t felt this level of interest in
anyone in months, maybe even years.
He walked into Gigi‟s and worked his way up to the bar,
watching Craig fill drink orders and talk up the customers.
Craig looked good in his standard uniform of tight T-shirt
and even tighter jeans. When Craig looked up and saw him,
his eyes widened a little before his face broke into a sweet
smile and he made his way over. Doug felt his body respond
immediately to that smile and his reservations melted. One
more night couldn‟t hurt. Craig could handle it and so could
he.
“Come for that drink I promised you?” Craig yelled over
the music.
Doug didn‟t bother yelling back. He just nodded his
head and smiled. Unfortunately, as soon as he had his
drink, some of the regulars surrounded him, and he was
herded off to his usual corner before he could even try to say
anything to Craig. The gossip queens had indeed heard of his
exchange with Craig in the parking lot, and all were eager for
any new information on their favorite straight bartender.
Doug evaded their questions and propositions flawlessly,
watching Craig out of the corner of his eye and killing time
until last call. As the place started to clear out, Doug walked
casually back to the bar and waited for Craig to get free.
When Craig finished with the wave of last callers and spotted
him, he walked over.
“Do you want another?” Craig asked as he collected
empties from the bar.
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“Depends on what you‟re offering,” Doug answered with
a leer.
That seemed to catch Craig‟s attention. The young
man‟s eyebrows shot up, and the empty beer bottles dangled
from his fingers, seemingly forgotten. “Uh, anything you
want.”
That was what he‟d hoped Craig would say. “Meet me
outside when you‟re done.”
Craig‟s eyes widened but he nodded, and Doug made his
way out to his car to wait.
In less than half an hour they were falling into Craig‟s
bed, naked. Doug had wanted to go a little slower, but Craig
really didn‟t need the kid gloves, so Doug had a hard time
convincing his libido to slow down. This time, Doug wanted
to watch Craig‟s face as he fucked him, so he pushed Craig
onto his back and straddled his thighs. He still took his time
slicking Craig up and working the younger man‟s cock, but it
was more for the pleasure of watching his reactions than
anything else. The man was moaning and writhing beneath
him by the time Doug hooked his arms under Craig‟s knees
and lifted them to his shoulders.
Doug watched Craig‟s face closely as he slid inside his
tight ass. While surprise, pleasure, and a little pain flitted
across the surface, Doug could see a storm of feeling deep
within Craig‟s eyes that caused an answering surge of lust in
Doug.
“Shit,” Craig moaned as Doug started rocking inside
him.
Doug had to chuckle. Craig‟s vocabulary might be a
little limited at times, but he certainly conveyed a world of
meaning with just a few well-chosen expletives.
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Doug leaned down and worked his hand under Craig‟s
head to lift it for a kiss as he continued to stroke in and out
of the man‟s body. Craig moaned into his mouth and sucked
on his tongue, making Doug‟s balls want to draw up even
faster than they already were. He sat back on his heels and
gripped Craig‟s hips, lifting his ass higher so he could hit the
man‟s gland, and Craig‟s hand dropped to his dick, stroking
it furiously. It wasn‟t long before Craig‟s cries of pleasure
turned a little desperate, and his body went rigid. The sight
of Craig‟s face in ecstasy and the clenching of his ass as he
shot onto his chest pushed Doug over, and he came with
only a few more hard thrusts. He collapsed onto the bed,
panting.
Doug rolled out of bed and headed for the bathroom as
soon as he caught his breath. When he got back, Craig was
propped on his elbow, staring at him with all kinds of
questions in his eyes, but thank God he didn‟t ask them. All
he said was, “Are you staying?”
“Yeah, I‟m beat.”
Craig studied his face for a moment more and then
climbed under the comforter, scooting over to make room for
him. Doug hit the light and climbed in, but it was a long
time before he was able to fall asleep. He had too many
questions of his own.
He woke a short time later to Wagner‟s “Ride of the
Valkyries” coming from the other room. Craig swore and
rolled out of bed, stumbling out of the room. A quick look at
the clock told Doug it was barely five in the morning, and he
dropped back against the pillows with a groan.
“Hello.” Craig‟s voice was rough with sleep, but it had a
little edge to it as he answered his cell. The ring tone had
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Doug curious, so he listened shamelessly to Craig‟s half of
the conversation.
“What‟s wrong? You‟ve got to be shitting me…. No. I
can‟t do that. I have to work…. Where the hell is Frank?
Can‟t he do something about it?”
There was a long pause. Craig‟s voice had been getting
steadily sharper as he spoke. Doug could almost feel the
tension from a room away.
“Look, I‟m sorry Mr. Wonderful hasn‟t turned out to be
so wonderful, but you were the one who asked me to leave,
remember? I‟ve barely heard a peep since I left, and now
what? You want me to drop everything and come running? I
can‟t do that, Mom. I‟m sorry, but I can‟t. I don‟t have that
kind of money anyway. You‟re just going to have to figure
something out without me… Mom? Fuck!”
A moment later, Craig came walking back into the
bedroom and sat on the edge of the bed with his shoulders
slumped, facing away from Doug. It was obvious that he was
upset, but Doug had no idea what to do about it. He wasn‟t
exactly the nurturing type. In fact, the longer the silence
stretched, the more convinced Doug was that he should
leave. “Uh, Craig? Are you okay? Do you want me to go?”
Craig shook his head but didn‟t turn around.
“No. I‟m not okay,” he answered quietly. “No. I don‟t
want you to go.”
Craig did turn around then and climbed onto the bed.
Doug was surprised when Craig kept crawling until he‟d
climbed on top of him, straddling his hips.
“I want you fuck me until I pass out. Can you do that?”
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Craig‟s eyes were fierce and a little desperate when they
locked onto Doug‟s, but at least he‟d asked for something
that Doug could give. Fucking he could do. Doug nodded and
surged up, flipping Craig onto his back. He took the younger
man‟s mouth hard, kissing and biting until they were both
struggling for air.
He grabbed another condom from the nightstand,
manhandled Craig until he was facedown and ass-up on the
bed, and quickly rolled it on. He didn‟t bother with more
lube. Craig was still a little slick from their previous session,
and Doug figured the slight burn would definitely give Craig
the distraction he was after. Doug pushed in and Craig
groaned into the pillows under his head. He rode Craig‟s ass
with steady thrusts, running his hands all over the younger
man‟s body, tweaking his nipples and fondling his cock and
balls until Craig‟s back was slick with sweat and his body
was trembling. Craig‟s hands were fisted in the comforter
and he was moaning and swearing, but he wasn‟t doing
anything to rush matters along. When Doug was just about
at the end of his stamina, he gripped Craig‟s dick hard and
starting pumping.
“Come for me baby. Come on my cock.”
“Fuck!” Craig cried a second before he arched his back
and came all over Doug‟s fist.
Doug fucked him through a few more tremors, then let
go and rammed himself deep, grinding his hips against
Craig‟s ass. This time, they both passed out seconds after
their heads hit the pillows, and the sun was streaming
through the grotesque flowered curtains before Doug woke
again. Craig was still snoring next to him, so Doug didn‟t
bother to get up. He just watched the younger man sleep for
a while, puzzling over his own behavior.
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Why he was physically attracted to Craig was a no-
brainer, but why he‟d come back for more and why he wasn‟t
in any hurry to leave again was something he needed to work
out.
Craig was definitely emotionally intense. Doug had
admitted to being drawn to that. But the young man was
also a bit of puzzle, and that appealed to Doug on a less
visceral plane. Craig was a study in contrasts: He was tatted
up and pierced like a biker or a punk, but he had a boy-
next-door cuteness about him. He was a straight man
working at a gay bar. He lived in a rundown apartment
building and worked as a bartender, but he had library
copies of War and Peace and The Autobiography of Benjamin
Franklin sitting on his nightstand. His living room was
decorated like a frat house, but he had the bedroom set of a
ten-year-old girl. And last but definitely not least, he‟d asked
Doug to take charge in the bedroom, but Craig had been the
one who‟d hunted him down, and last night he‟d all but
dared Doug to fuck him through the mattress.
Doug smiled and shook his head. For someone who‟d
said he didn‟t want to be in charge, Craig had certainly
called most of the shots so far.
Doug watched Craig sleep for a little while longer until
he started to feel an urge to cuddle coming on. He rolled out
of bed in disgust and wandered to the kitchen to make some
coffee. He wasn‟t going to leave just yet, but he was not going
to cuddle.
The sound of the coffeemaker must have woken Craig,
because the younger man stumbled into the kitchen wearing
a pair of shorts and nothing else just as Doug was pouring
himself a cup. He grabbed a second cup off the counter,
poured some coffee for Craig, opened the refrigerator to dig
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out the half and half, and was just about to ask if Craig
wanted sugar when it occurred to him how domestic he was
being and he grimaced. It was Craig‟s damn apartment. He
could find his own damn sugar.
“Morning,” Craig mumbled around a yawn.
“Good morning,” Doug grumbled as he grabbed his own
cup of coffee and stepped around Craig to make his way to
the couch. He‟d stay long enough to finish his coffee and
make sure Craig was doing okay, but that was it. He wasn‟t
going to hold the guy‟s hand or play Dear Abby or anything.
Craig was quiet when he came in and sat in the chair.
Normally, Doug would have appreciated the fact that his
fuck buddy wasn‟t interested in sharing, but this morning
the silence grated on him. He decided to get the necessary
question out of the way so he could finish his coffee in peace
and head home.
Just as Doug asked “Are you okay?” Craig said “I‟m
sorry about last night,” and they shared a chuckle.
“Go ahead,” Doug said.
“I just wanted to say sorry for last night. I‟m sure drama
wasn‟t on your list of fun things to do.”
“It‟s no big deal. Seemed to work out pretty well for me if
I remember correctly,” Doug replied with a smirk.
Craig actually blushed, and Doug couldn‟t help but find
that sexy. Shit. He really needed to leave.
“Do you want to talk about it?” The words were out of
Doug‟s mouth before he even knew it. To cover his gasp of
horror and disgust, he gritted his teeth and lifted his coffee
cup to take a sip.
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Craig gave him a startled look, and Doug shifted
uncomfortably on the couch. If he could have smacked
himself without Craig thinking he was some kind of lunatic,
he probably would have.
“No. I wouldn‟t do that to you. You don‟t want to hear
about all of my bullshit,” Craig said with a rueful smile.
But Doug had to admit he actually did want to hear it.
He was curious, whether he wanted to be or not. He wasn‟t
going to declare undying love or anything, but for now, Craig
wasn‟t boring, and maybe if he satisfied his curiosity he‟d
stop obsessing over it and move on.
“I‟m not in any hurry unless you want to be alone,”
Doug said. “I‟ve got no big plans for the morning, so if you
want to vent, I don‟t mind listening.”
Craig pursed his lips and regarded him for a little while,
then shrugged. “That was my mother on the phone this
morning. We haven‟t been close for a couple of years. I
haven‟t heard from her or my little brother and sister for
months, and last night she calls out of the blue asking for
money to keep my brother out of juvie.”
Doug raised his eyebrows but didn‟t comment, and
Craig grimaced.
“I probably shouldn‟t be telling you this. You probably
already think you‟re slumming without me making it worse,
but if it isn‟t already pretty obvious,” Craig said, sweeping a
hand to indicate his apartment, “I‟m pretty much white
trash. Look in the dictionary under „trailer trash‟ and you‟d
probably see a picture of my family. I grew up in a trailer
park in Flint, and not the nice kind with the little driveways
and picket-fenced yards, but the crappy ghetto kind with the
AstroTurf, gravel, and plastic lawn chairs.”
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Doug really wasn‟t sure what he was supposed to say to
that. He didn‟t like Craig cutting himself down, but he wasn‟t
going to admit it to anyone but himself.
“Anyway,” Craig continued without really waiting for a
response, “things were pretty rough after stepdad number
one left. It was just my mom, me, and my little sister and
brother, and Mom was never very good at taking care of
herself, let alone anyone else. I was twelve, and she told me I
was the man of the house, and I needed to help her take care
of the family. She cried on my shoulder a lot and depended
on me to watch the babies while she worked. I got a job to
bring in a little extra money, and when my brother and sister
were both old enough to go to school, she got a day job, and I
got an after-school job plus the paper route I already had.”
“Jesus,” Doug said.
Craig laughed. “Yeah, no pressure, right? It was okay. I
mean, I didn‟t have much of a social life, and I barely
graduated high school, but I loved the little shits, so I didn‟t
mind so much. The kicker was when stepdad number two
came along. Mom finally found someone who had a little
money, and the guy bought her and my brother and sister all
kinds of shit.” Craig set his mug down and propped his
forearms on his thighs. “I didn‟t like the guy and he didn‟t
like me, so when Mom decided to marry him, the shit hit the
fan and they all told me to fuck off.”
Craig‟s mouth twisted, and he stared down at his hands
instead of looking at Doug. His eyes had a kind of faraway
look, so Doug just kept silent. “I practically raised them, you
know. Mom was always off dating, trying to find a
replacement for number one, and I was the one who took
them to school plays, made dinner, and made sure they did
their homework and all that, even when I didn‟t have time to
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do my own, and this guy just walks in and throws a little
money around, and all of a sudden, I’m the asshole.”
Craig let out a breath, grabbed his coffee, and sat back
in the wood chair. As Doug tried to think of something
sympathetic to say, he noticed Craig was rubbing a hand
over the tattoo of a broken doll on his left pec. When Craig
caught him staring, he gave Doug a sad smile.
“This one was for them. I know I‟m a little obvious with
the symbolism but….” He didn‟t finish the sentence. He just
shrugged and went back to sipping his coffee.
Doug had to admit he‟d been curious about the tattoos,
but he hadn‟t wanted to ask. Now, he was a little desperate
for any change in subject from Craig‟s childhood, so he said,
“And the others?”
Craig shrugged.
“The tribals on my shoulders were first. I got them with
my first few paychecks after moving to Detroit. When my
family told me to fuck off, I moved here with a buddy of mine
to work at his uncle‟s restaurant. It was the first time I could
remember having money that was all mine, so I bought
something just for me. It‟s supposed to symbolize the weight
that was lifted from my shoulders. I was still pretty pissed at
that point.” Craig grimaced. “I know. It‟s a little hokey,
right?”
“It‟s not hokey. I can understand that. I went a little
crazy with my first paycheck, though I think you had better
reasons than I did.” Doug chuckled, trying to lighten the
mood a little, and he was rewarded with a weak smile from
Craig.
“What was your first job?” Craig asked.
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“I had a paid MBA internship. My parents weren‟t big on
me having a job when I was in school. Sometimes I think it
would have been easier for me if they‟d let me take some
crappy retail job, so I wasn‟t so clueless when I actually went
out into the real world, but it all worked out, I guess. I don‟t
have any complaints.”
Craig smiled again, but the reprieve was a short one for
Doug. “Wish I could say the same,” Craig said as the smile
faded from his lips. “Apparently stepdad number two has
had enough of dealing with Mike, my little brother, and won‟t
pay his fines and damages for whatever stupid shit the kid‟s
done now, and Mom wants me to help. They don‟t write or
call or anything for months, and now they expect me to drop
everything and send them money.”
Craig stood up and started pacing, obviously getting
agitated again, and Doug found himself wanting to hug the
man. Doug crossed his arms over his chest instead and sat
further back on the couch. “Sounds like you have every right
to be pissed and every right to say no, at least in my opinion,
whatever that‟s worth,” Doug said.
Craig sighed and looked over at him. “Thanks. That
means a lot.”
As Craig continued to stare into his eyes, Doug started
to get uncomfortable. He stood up and said, “I should
probably hit the shower and head out. Only a couple of
weeks left before the big move, and I have some things I need
to take care of.”
“Oh yeah, sure. You‟ve got a lot to do.” Craig gave him a
weak smile. “Hey, thanks for listening to my bullshit. It was
really decent of you.”
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“No problem,” Doug replied as a knife of guilt twisted a
little in his chest. He was the one who‟d asked Craig to
share, and now he was shutting him down and running
away… not his proudest moment, that was for sure, but he
did it anyway.
Doug was dressed and out the door minutes after a
quick run through the shower. He didn‟t even bother with
anything but a cursory “see ya” as he lit out of Craig‟s
apartment like his tail was on fire. Going to Gigi‟s the night
before had been a big mistake, one he didn‟t plan on
repeating.
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Chapter Five
A
FTER
Doug left, Craig poured himself another cup of coffee
and went back into the living room to sit on the couch. He
had no idea what the fuck just happened. After a week had
gone by, and Doug hadn‟t shown up at the club that Friday
night, Craig assumed he wasn‟t going to see the man again,
or if he did, they‟d only exchange a few words and the drink
he‟d offered and that would be it.
When Doug had offered to meet him in the parking lot,
Craig had been floored and, admittedly, a little too thrilled
for his own good. He‟d tried really hard not to read anything
into it, to just accept what Doug was offering and not be a
chick about the whole thing, wondering what Doug was
thinking or what all this meant.
The sex had been a little more rushed, much like what
he‟d expected the first time, but still just as fucking hot.
Then his mom had to call and fuck everything up, but even
that hadn‟t ended too badly. Doug had, once again, given
him exactly what he‟d asked for, and Craig had been able to
forget all the anger and guilt for a little while. Then Doug had
to do something completely out of character and offer his
shoulder for Craig to cry on, and Craig hadn‟t been able to
resist the temptation. So, like an asshole, he‟d opened up to
the man more than he should have and chased him off with
the trashy Springer episode that was his life. As if telling
Doug about his fucked up relationship with Shelly hadn‟t
been enough. Craig couldn‟t really blame the man for
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making a beeline for the front door as soon as he‟d had the
chance.
Craig groaned and slammed his head against the back
of the couch a few times.
Shit. Shit. Shit.
Well, at least now he knew for sure he wouldn‟t be
seeing Doug again before the man left for Chicago. Only
problem was, after last night, Craig was even more certain
that Doug was the only person he wanted. Craig dropped his
head into his hands and stayed like that for a long time.
When his pity party was finally over, he took a shower and
made himself some breakfast.
He spent the next several hours before work trying to
read, but he just couldn‟t get into the book. Shelly had taken
his television when she moved out, along with his car and
nearly everything else he owned, and Craig hadn‟t bothered
to replace it. He was seriously regretting that fact now as he
stared at his phone and the half-empty coffee cup Doug had
left on the table. The phone sat in silent reproach, and the
coffee cup—well, the coffee cup was a whole other pile of
symbolism Craig couldn‟t handle right now. Doug‟s
assurances that he‟d made the right call with his mom were
comforting, but they were also painful, because it was really
pathetic how much the man‟s approval and support had
meant to him.
Craig grimaced in disgust and decided he needed to get
out of his apartment before he went crazy. He grabbed his
cheap little notebook computer—one of the few things Shelly
couldn‟t find when she emptied their apartment—and
headed out to find free Internet and a place to sit. He‟d kill a
few hours just surfing and maybe catch a movie, anything
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but think about the train wreck that was his personal life.
Who knew, maybe he‟d skim the want ads again looking for a
fancy restaurant or hotel bar that needed a bartender with
more enthusiasm than class or skill. That would be fun.
The next two weeks passed painfully slowly. He didn‟t
hear from his mom again, which kind of surprised him, and
he didn‟t hear from Doug either, which didn‟t. Craig expected
his mom to at least send a parting shot about how
disappointed she was in him. It seriously wasn‟t like her to
miss an opportunity like that, and Craig found that the
silence was almost worse.
Craig did everything he could in those two weeks to
avoid thinking about what he was going to do about the
whole mess of feelings he had for Doug. He knew he was only
postponing the inevitable. He couldn‟t keep himself in a state
of denial indefinitely, but the holding pattern he was in was
so blissfully numbing that he really didn‟t want it to end.
On the last Monday of the month, less than a week
before Doug would be leaving Detroit for good, Craig made a
promise to himself that he would only mope for one more
week. Next Monday, when Doug was really and truly gone
and there was no little niggling hope that the man would just
pop into the club one last time, Craig would put aside his
holding pattern and his twisted, unreasonable, wishful
thinking and get on with his life. Maybe he‟d go out with
some of the guys from work or track down some of his
drinking buddies from the pre-Shelly years and just get
stupid for a night. Nothing complicated. No revelations. No
reassessing his identity. Just going out and acting his age.
Who knew, maybe he‟d find a girl he liked and buy her a
drink.
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It was Craig‟s day off, so after making his little vow, he
rolled out of bed, made himself a pot of coffee and a bowl of
cereal, and slumped on the couch in his underwear to watch
some reality TV. He‟d finally broken down and bought
himself another TV when he couldn‟t stand the silence in his
apartment anymore. Reality TV in no way reminded him of
Doug, so it was a pretty safe mindless entertainment.
Craig had just settled in for a marathon of custom
motorcycles and deadly police chases when there was a
knock on his door. He set his breakfast aside, walked to the
door, and looked through the peephole. His stomach flipped
over when he saw Doug, and he just stood there in shock
until Doug raised his hand to knock again. Craig quickly
scrabbled to open the door.
“Hey,” Doug said, giving Craig that million-dollar smile.
“Hey?”
Craig‟s confusion must have been pretty plain, because
Doug‟s smile faded a little and he shifted uncomfortably. “Is
this a bad time?”
Jesus fucking Christ!
He‟d almost gotten the guy completely out of his system,
and now here he was, in the flesh, looking as sexy as ever,
and Craig didn‟t know whether to slam the door in his face
or tackle him to the floor and beg to be fucked. Craig‟s
emotions may have been in a holding pattern for the last two
weeks, but he‟d still been horny as hell, and his dick
certainly knew what Doug could do for him. It perked right
up at the same time that his stomach dropped out, and
Craig was pretty sure who was going to win that tug of war.
“No. Come on in,” he said as he stepped back to let
Doug past him.
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Craig‟s dick also didn‟t miss the appreciation in Doug‟s
gaze as the man‟s eyes skimmed his underwear-clad body.
Craig was tempted to go throw some pants on, but he
decided against it. He really didn‟t know why Doug was
there, but he was pretty sure where they‟d end up.
“Do you want some coffee?” he asked, mostly to fill the
silence that descended as soon as he closed the door.
“No thanks. I had mine earlier.”
They looked at each other for a long, drawn-out moment
until the sound of tires screeching on the television made
Craig rush to shut the thing off. The last thing he wanted
was for Doug to know he‟d been watching that crap.
“So, uh, how are you?”
…and why are you here?
He wanted to ask. He really wanted to ask, but he
couldn‟t seem to bring himself to.
“I‟m good. You look good,” Doug said. Craig saw Doug‟s
eyes drop to skim his body again, and his dick did a little
happy dance.
Okay, so right now he didn‟t really care why Doug was
there. Craig let go of his questions and let his dick take over.
“Do I?” Craig asked as he leered right back at the man.
“Maybe you should have a closer look.”
They were naked and in his bed in less than five
minutes.
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| 58
Chapter Six
D
OUG
watched Craig sleep as the sun dropped below the
horizon. He‟d been good for two weeks. He‟d stayed away.
He‟d fucked his way through a few gay bars he hadn‟t visited
in years, and still he‟d ended up back at Craig‟s.
It was stupid, futile, and possibly cruel. It didn‟t change
anything about his plans for leaving, and he was being a
giant asshole for not answering any of the questions he saw
in Craig‟s eyes. But Doug had never denied being an asshole,
and Craig didn‟t seem to be willing to push, so Doug wasn‟t
going to volunteer answers he didn‟t have.
Maybe it was an early midlife crisis thing. Maybe he just
got off on being Craig‟s first—and probably only—male lover
or knowing he was the only person Craig had been attracted
to in months. Doug had no idea, but he couldn‟t bring
himself to leave without one last visit, and so here he was,
wondering if it would be better or worse for him to sneak out
while Craig slept.
Doug grimaced and shook his head. He wasn‟t that
much of an asshole, and he did want to talk to Craig, to
make sure he was doing fine. Hopefully Craig would even tell
him that Doug was just imagining the emotions he saw in
the younger man‟s eyes, that Craig couldn‟t care less that he
was leaving and had started hooking up with other girls or
guys since they were together last. While that scenario would
hurt Doug‟s pride and maybe bother him more than he was
willing to admit, it would free him of any guilt, and that
would definitely be a good thing.
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| 59
Craig grumbled in his sleep, and a frown creased his
brow just before his green eyes opened and focused on Doug.
The smile was slow in coming this time and a little weak, but
it was there just the same. Doug smiled back and propped
himself on an elbow.
“I hope this is your day off, because it‟s past five
o‟clock,” Doug said.
“Yeah. I‟m off. How about you? I thought you
professional types would be at work on a Monday afternoon.”
Doug chuckled. “It‟s my last week and my replacement
is a fast learner. He didn‟t need anywhere near the
handholding I thought he would, so I left early.”
Craig chewed on his lip and gave him a half-smile. “I‟m
glad you decided to stop by before you left. You‟ve, uh, been
a fixture at Gigi‟s for the whole time I‟ve worked there, and
it‟s going to be weird not making your martinis every Friday
night.”
Doug leaned in to give Craig a tender kiss. “I‟m going to
miss you making my martinis too,” he said. And thankfully,
in true man style, they didn‟t touch on anything deeper than
that for the rest of the evening.
They ordered pizza and watched TV for a while. They
talked about Doug‟s plans for the move, where he was going
to live and his new condo in the city. Craig talked a little
about his dreams of working in a high-class bar and some of
the books he was reading. They even got into a debate over
the Lions‟ draft picks for the season until Doug was forced to
give Craig head until he conceded Doug‟s point. All in all, it
was probably the closest thing to a date that Doug had ever
had, but since they steered clear of any real personal talk,
Doug never once felt the urge to bolt.
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| 60
When Craig walked him to the door at ten that night,
the young man seemed somber but not overly upset, and
again, Doug didn‟t know if he should be relieved or
disappointed. He chose relieved because anything else
wouldn‟t have made sense. They exchanged e-mail addresses
on the pretense of hooking up if he ever came back to town,
but Doug was pretty sure Craig didn‟t expect to hear from
him again, and to be honest, Doug had no intention of using
it.
He gave Craig a kiss at the door, one that he hoped
conveyed his sincerest good wishes but nothing else. He
really did want Craig to be happy. He could admit that, even
to himself, and from the sounds of his life so far, the guy
deserved a few good breaks.
“See ya,” Craig said when Doug ended the kiss.
“See ya.”
Doug flew to Chicago the following Friday. His stuff had
already been professionally packed and shipped, and his real
estate agent had met the movers at his new place, so
everything was there and mostly unpacked by the time he
got there. As he sat in his immaculate new apartment, too
tired to get dressed and go out for a hook-up, he assured
himself, over and over again, that there was absolutely
nothing he missed about living in Detroit.
It took all of two weeks for him to break down and e-
mail Craig. It was just a simple message, nothing deep or
touching. He sent a picture of the view from his new place,
told Craig he‟d arrived safely, and asked how the man was
doing. Craig‟s reply was equally light. He shared gossip from
Gigi‟s and a little of what books he was reading, but it was
surprising how good it made Doug feel to hear from him.
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| 61
They e-mailed at least once a week for the next three
months, and somehow the conversations evolved, touching
on deeper, more personal subjects each time. Doug wasn‟t
sure how it happened, but apparently he was a lot more
comfortable talking about emotions from three hundred
miles away via e-mail than he ever would have been face to
face. It was strange and a little scary, but he found himself
looking forward to Craig‟s e-mails more than he ever thought
he would.
They talked sports and movies, music, and all the other
normal stuff, but they also shared more about their families
and hopes and dreams. Craig never whined about all the shit
that had happened to him, but Doug learned to hate Craig‟s
ex and pretty much everyone else who‟d ever stepped on the
young man, more and more with every revelation Craig
made. Doug found himself sharing things that he‟d almost
forgotten or hadn‟t thought about in years, things that he‟d
never shared with anyone beyond his family.
He still cruised the bars on the weekends, but the
hookups left him disappointed and wanting. He was
teetering on the edge of admitting to himself that maybe he‟d
outgrown the club scene and could actually want more from
his relationships than just hot sex, when an offhand
comment Craig made about his birthday in his last e-mail
finally pushed Doug off the cliff. He suddenly realized he had
something a hell of a lot more important to do with his
weekend than cruise, and he immediately set to work on a
plan.
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| 62
Chapter Seven
C
RAIG
woke Saturday morning to pounding on his door.
Since he worked until two on Friday nights, any disturbance
before noon was greatly unappreciated, and he stumbled to
his front door ready to chew someone a new asshole. That
changed when he peeked through the peephole and saw
Doug‟s smiling face. His heart leapt in his chest, and he
threw back the deadbolt and chain, wrenching the door open
in seconds.
“Doug?”
Doug grinned and held out a ridiculously large helium
balloon that said “Happy Birthday” on it.
“Happy Birthday,” Doug said unnecessarily.
Craig‟s mouth fell open, and he stepped aside so Doug
could come into his apartment. In his right hand Doug was
holding a black leather carry-on, and in his left he had the
largest gift bag Craig had ever seen with a jumble of shiny
curling ribbons streaming from the handles. Craig couldn‟t
seem to wrap his mind around the fact that Doug was
standing in his living room enough to do anything but stare
at the man, and Doug‟s smile faltered a little. “Sorry. Bad
time?”
Craig shook himself out of his stupor and took the
balloon. “No. Hell no. I just… wow. I wasn‟t expecting you,”
Craig said, stating the obvious.
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| 63
“Yeah. I wanted it to be a surprise.” Doug shifted a little.
“Surprise!” Doug dropped his travel bag and offered the gift
bag to Craig.
“You didn‟t have to get me anything, Doug.”
“Oh yes I did. Open it and you‟ll see why.”
All Craig really wanted to do was launch himself at
Doug, but he wasn‟t quite sure what his reception would be,
so he just took the bag and walked to the living room. Doug
sat next to him on the couch with an expectant look on his
face as Craig opened the bag and laughed when he looked
inside. In the bag, still in their packaging from the store,
were a set of sheets, a matching comforter, and curtains in
gray and brown stripes.
When he looked up, Doug was grinning at him.
“Want to try them out?” Doug asked as he quirked an
eyebrow.
They barely got the sheets on the bed before they
tumbled into it. At that moment, Craig didn‟t even care why
Doug was there. He‟d missed the man so much over the past
few months, and the increasingly intimate e-mails had only
made it worse, so he was pretty much willing to take
anything he could get. Of course, afterward, as he lay in
Doug‟s arms, the answer to that question became a lot more
important to him, but Doug was actually cuddling with him,
and Craig was afraid any sudden moves on his part would
make Doug bolt, so he kept his mouth shut.
“Do you like your birthday present?” Doug asked.
Craig‟s head was resting just below Doug‟s shoulder, so he
got to listen to the question rumble through the man‟s chest.
Craig laughed. “Yeah. I like it a lot. In fact, I think it‟s
the best birthday present anyone has ever given me.”
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| 64
Doug obviously didn‟t take his compliment in the spirit
in which it was meant, because he was frowning when he
nudged Craig‟s head up to look him in the eyes. “You deserve
so much more than the shit you‟ve been given, Craig.”
Where did that come from?
Craig searched Doug‟s eyes for a second before trying to
shrug it off. “I wasn‟t complaining, Doug. I just really
appreciate that you did all this for me.”
Doug‟s expression and the intensity of his gaze didn‟t
change. “I know you weren‟t complaining. You almost never
complain. I just think someone should take care of you for
once.”
Craig finally got the hint that they were talking about
more than just his birthday present, and his stomach flipped
over. “I don‟t need someone to take care of me, Doug. I‟d just
like to be with someone who could take care of themselves
for a change, that‟s all.”
Doug pursed his lips and nodded. “I can understand
that.”
Doug broke eye contact then, and Craig started to think
that maybe they weren’t talking about what he thought they
were talking about. Doug was quiet for so long that Craig
actually jumped when the man suddenly spoke again.
“I think you could use a change in scenery though,
maybe a new city altogether.”
Craig‟s breath quickened. He couldn‟t help it. Maybe
they were talking about the same thing.
“Where do you think I should go?” he asked, propping
himself up on an elbow and trying to copy Doug‟s casual
tone.
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| 65
Doug seemed to ponder his question for a minute as he
trailed his fingers lazily over Craig‟s shoulders and chest.
“Chicago‟s a nice town.”
“Kind of a long way to go just for a change in scenery,
don‟t you think? I can‟t just transfer down there and expect
to have a job waiting for me like you did.”
Doug shrugged. “I might know a place you could stay
until you got a job and found a place of your own. I could
probably ask around and find some bars that are hiring too.”
Doug wasn‟t making eye contact, so Craig couldn‟t really
tell how serious he was or if he even knew what he was
offering. Craig didn‟t exactly know what he was being offered
either, and he really wanted to stop tap-dancing around and
ask Doug flat-out what he meant, but Doug‟s gentle caresses
on his skin were making it hard to think.
“It‟s still kind of a big chance to take for a guy like me,
without….” Craig gasped when Doug‟s fingers rolled his
nipple.
Doug leaned in and kissed him.
“You could come for a week or two, a vacation to see if
you like the place,” Doug said when he pulled back. “I could
take you to some of my favorite restaurants and show you
around.”
Craig lifted his hands to cover Doug‟s on his chest,
holding them still so he could get a little blood back to his
brain.
“Umm, Doug?”
Doug looked up and raised an eyebrow. “Yeah?”
“That sounds an awful lot like dating.”
Doug shrugged. “Maybe.”
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| 66
“And you‟re okay with that?”
Doug‟s smile turned a little wry. “Apparently.”
Despite the painful little flip his heart gave, Craig
decided to give Doug back some of his own medicine.
“Apparently? You‟re asking me to pop your dating-cherry
here, Doug, so forgive me if I want a little more clarification.”
Doug looked startled for a second, and then he chuckled
and kissed Craig long and hard. When he pulled away again,
he said, “Let‟s just say a man can‟t stay a virgin forever. So
what do you say? Come visit me?”
Craig sighed and rubbed his temples. He had the
world‟s worst track record for interpersonal relationships,
but with Doug lying next to him, giving him that smile, it
was really hard to say no, so he chose the safest answer he
could think of. “I‟ll think about it.”
Doug slid his hands down Craig‟s body to his hips and
pulled him close. He nudged Craig‟s chin up with his nose
and began nibbling along his jaw to his ear.
“Just so you know, if anyone‟s going to be popping my
relationship-cherry, it‟s going to be you and only you,” Doug
whispered just before he sucked Craig‟s earlobe into his
mouth, and his hand slid to Craig‟s dick.
Of course all the blood left Craig‟s brain again, and he
gave the only response he had.
“Shit.”
About the Author
R
OWAN
M
C
A
LLISTER
quit her day job in 2007 and moved to
her dream home in the woods of Virginia to follow her muses
and explore her creative side full time. She‟s a firm believer
in practical romanticism, requires a strong cup of coffee
every morning to be even remotely human, and has a
healthy obsession with romance and fantasy fiction, small
(and not so small) furry creatures, and anything to do with
working with her hands. She can be found most days either
hunched over her sewing machine or hunched over her
laptop. Though she has spent a lifetime making up stories in
her head when whatever task she was occupied with failed to
keep her full attention, she only recently discovered the
challenge and reward to be found in committing those stories
to paper. Now that she has, there‟s no going back.
Contact Rowan at
Copyright
Cherries on Top ©Copyright Rowan McAllister, 2011
Published by
Dreamspinner Press
4760 Preston Road
Suite 244-149
Frisco, TX 75034
http://www.dreamspinnerpress.com/
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the
authors’ imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead,
business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.
Cover Art by Catt Ford
This book is licensed to the original purchaser only. Duplication or distribution via any means is
illegal and a violation of International Copyright Law, subject to criminal prosecution and upon
conviction, fines, and/or imprisonment. This eBook cannot be legally loaned or given to others. No
part of this eBook can be shared or reproduced without the express permission of the Publisher. To
request permission and all other inquiries, contact Dreamspinner Press at: 4760 Preston Road, Suite
244-149, Frisco, TX 75034
http://www.dreamspinnerpress.com/
Released in the United States of America
June 2011
eBook Edition
eBook ISBN: 978-1-61372-021-9
Document Outline
- Chapter One
- Chapter Two
- Chapter Three
- Chapter Four
- Chapter Five
- Chapter Six
- Chapter Seven
- About the Author
- More Daily Dose and Advent Calendar packages
- Copyright
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