ThankyoufordownloadingthisPocketStarBookseBook.

Signupforournewsletterandreceivespecialoffers,accesstobonuscontent,andinfoonthelatestnewreleasesandothergreateBooksfrom

PocketStarBooksandSimon&Schuster.

CLICKHERETOSIGNUP

orvisitusonlinetosignupat

eBookNews.SimonandSchuster.com

ToNatalieRam,

myfavoriteschemer,

mypartnerincrime.

Together—wewillneverlose.

Loveyou!

Asoulmateisnotfound.Asoulmateisrecognized.

—VironikaTugaleva

PROLOGUE

H

E’S

late.Again.

Isitdownatthedinnertable,wherethenow-coldfoodcongeals,andcovermyfacewithmyhands.
Twohourslate.Again.
WhatamIgoingtodo?HowlongamIgoingtolivelikethis,waitingforhimtochange?
IneedtomakemyselfrealizethattheDarrenIfellinlovewithisn’tthemanheisnow.
TenyearsofmylifeI’vegivenhim.
Ten.
Myfirstlove,myfirstboyfriend,themanIthoughtI’dmarry.
Andthenheturnsintosuchadisappointment.
No,that’sanunderstatement.
He’severythingamanshouldn’tbe.
Infact,hismothershouldbefuckingashamedofthemanhe’sbecome.
I hear the garage door open, but I don’t move from my spot. Of course, he stays in the garage and

doesn’tevenbothertocomeupandseeme.Nohello,eventhoughI’vebeenblowinguphisphoneforthe
lasthourwonderingwhereheis.

He’samasterliar.Hehasanexcuseforeverything,andIbelievehimeverysingletime.
Lovetrulyisblind.Icanseethetruthnow,butdoesthatmeanIdon’tlovehimanymore?
Ireallyhopeso.
Hefinallycomesupstairsandkissesthetopofmyhead.
Idon’tbothertoaskwherehewas,andhedoesn’tbothertoexplainwhyhewassolate.Hejustpretends

everythingisokay,thatwe’reperfectlyfine,thatalliswellinourworld.

“Howwasyourday?”heasksasheeyesthefood.
Asifhegivesafuck.
“Fine,”Isay,lookingupintohislifelessbrowneyes.“Yours?”
“Yeah,good.Workwasbusy.”
Todayisagoodday.ThedaysIgetignored—theystillsuck,butthey’rebetterthanmost.Betterthan

thealternative.

Itouchmyneck,andfeelthebruisesthatstillremainthere.
Thisishowheexpectsmetolive.
Tonotquestionhim.Tojustworkandcomehomeandcookandclean.

Todieinside,littlebylittle,whilehe’soffwithhisfriends,injectingneedlesintohisveinsandfucking

otherwomen.

Beforethedrugs,hewasn’tlikethis,butthere’snopointlivinginthepast.
I’vetriedtoleaveafewtimes,buteachtime,hebroughtmebackhere.Idon’tknowwhattodo.Idon’t

wanttogetanyofmyfamilyorfriendsinvolved,butifIdon’treachoutforhelp,I’mprobablynotgoing
tomakeit.

Darrenthemanisdead,andinhisplaceisamonster.
I’llneverforgivehimforbeingsoweakandturningtodrugsinthefirstplace.
Never.
I decide right here and now that I need to get away, to get out. I can’t live like this anymore, slowly

turningintosomeoneI’mnot.Idon’tcarethathethreatenedtokillmeifIleave.I’dratherdiethanlive
likethis,withhim.

Nooneiscomingtosaveme;noone.
Ihavetosavemyself.

ONE

Sixmonthslater

I

KNOW

Iseemoutofplace,soIignorethelooksIgetfromthepeoplearoundmeandstarestraightahead.I

probablydolooklikeacriminal,ifI’mbeinghonest.Thewornjeansandblackhoodiereallyaren’tnice
enoughtobewornoutinpublic,butit’snotlikethisbarissomeposhplace.Imean,it’sniceenough,but
it’sstillabar.Ihavemyhoodup,butstrandsofmyfieryredhairarestickingoutofit,framingmyfacein
messycurls.

Iswallowamouthfulofbeerandwipemymouthwiththebackofmyhand.
HowdidIgethere?Nothereasinthisbar,buthere,atthisplaceinmylife.
Aloneandlookinghomeless.Onmythirtiethbirthday.
Yeah,todayisanall-timelow.
Happybirthdaytome!
“CanIpleasehaveanotherbeer?”Iasktheextremelysexyblondbartenderatthebar,whogrins,nods,

andgrabsmeone.Iopenmypurseandpulloutsomemoney,thencurseasafewofmycardsslipoutand
onto the floor. Sighing, I hand him the money, then pick up the cards and shove everything back in,
zippingmybag.

“Ifyouthinkthathoodiehidesyourbeauty,you’refuckin’dreaming,”muttersaslightlyaccentedvoice

frommyright.

English?No.
MaybeIrish.
Iturntolookathim,givinghimmymostunimpressedlook.He’sgood-looking.No,that’stooblanda

description for what he is. He’s sexy, in that bad-boy, I’ve been through a lot and I know how to handle
everything,includingyouway.Darkhairandeyes.Addinthatslightaccentandhe’sjustmytype.Shame
aboutthetiming—I’mdefinitelynotlookingformynextmistakerightnow.“It’sworkedupuntilnow.”

“GuessI’msmarterthanothermen.”Hegrinsandpicksuphisglassofamberliquid.
“Ormaybeothermencantakeahint,”Isay,mygazeroamingoverthescaronhisneck.“Whichwould

makethemsmarter.”

Hisdarkeyesflashwithamusement.“Youcallin’mestupid,darlin’?”

Iglanceattheleathervestcoveringhischest,thenlookatmybottle.“I’mnotcallingyouanything.”I

pauseforeffect.“Butiftheshoefits,feelfreetowearit.”

Helaughs,adeepsoundthatI’mimmediatelydrawnto.
MyfriendLaceyusedtosayValentina,youalwaysattracttheworstmanintheroom.
Ijokedthatitwasmysuperpower.But,really,itwasmorelikemykryptonite.
Glancingoveratthisman,thisroughyethandsomebiker,Ijustknow,outofallthemeninthebar,

thatheistheworstone.

Andofcoursehehadtohitonme.
Still feeling the blow from the last man I let get close to me, I should want to run from this man. I

should.

Idon’t,ofcourse—butthatdoesn’tmeanIwon’t.
“What’s your name?” he asks, scanning my face. “And why do you look like you’re hiding from

something—orsomeone?”

“Tina,”Itellhim,givinghimthenicknameeveryonecallsme.“Andwhat’syourname?”
Hetakesasipbeforereplying.“Ardan.”
Inod.“That’saninterestingname.”
“ThenI’msureyou’llrememberit,”hesayssimply.“Peoplerememberinterestingthings.”
Mybrowfurrows.“Dothey?”
Henods.“Yes,theydo.I’msurenooneforgetsyourbeautifulhair.”
Ishrugandpullonthesleevesofmyhoodie.“Idon’tknow.I’veneverreallythoughtaboutit.”Ipause.

“Orcaredwhetherpeopleremembermeornot.Especiallyifthey’rerandompeople,becausewhogivesa
fuckwhattheythinkanyway,right?”

Ardanchuckles.“Ilikethat.”
I look over his black T-shirt, leather biker vest with patches on it, and dark jeans. No, he definitely

doesn’tlooklikesomeonewhogivesashitwhatotherpeoplethink.

“Yougoingtoavoidmyotherquestion?”heasks,raisingadarkbrow.
Inodattheleathervest.“What’syourdeal?”
“What?”heasks,smirking.
“Thebikerthingy,”Isay,rollingmyeyes.“Aretherelotsofbikergangsaroundhere?”MaybeIshould

drivetothenextcity.

“Clubs,notgangs,”hecorrectsme.
Ishrug.“Sorry,butit’snotlikeIknowmuchaboutbikers.”
“I’m a part of a club, yes. The Wind Dragons. And this thingy is called a cut,” he explains, sounding

amused,notangry.

Itakeinhisfeatures.
He’solderthanIam,definitely.Maybebyfiveorsoyears.Astrongjaw.SensuallipsIwanttosuckon.

Astraightnose.Thedarkestofeyes.Knowingeyes.Andaheadofthick,shortdarkhair.Thenthere’sthe
scar.

Howdidhegetit?
Myhandliftswithoutmethinking,totouchhisneck.“Whathappened?”

Heclearshisthroat,andIinstantlydropmyhand,cringing.“I’msorry.Idon’tknowwhyIdidthat.”
ApparentlyIsuddenlyhavenoboundaries.Ijustexpectthemfromeveryoneelse.
“Aknifegotme,”hesays,theninonequickmove,hepushesmyhoodbackward,lettingmythickhair

tumbleoutandaroundme.

“Fuck,”hegroans.“That’salotoffuckin’hair.”
Irollmyeyesandpullmyhoodbackup.“We’llcallthateven,butfromnowonIthinkweshouldkeep

ourhandstoourselves.”

Helickshisbottomlipandshakeshishead.“Nodeal.”
Mygreeneyesnarrow.“Youdon’tmaketheruleshere,Ardan.”
Anothergrin.“Oh,butdarlin’,Ido.”
Ipursemylipsandstudyhim.
Aknifeslashedhimacrosshisneck?What’sthestorybehindthat?Ihavetowonder.Howlongagodidit

happen? Did he almost die? What happened to whoever did it to him? I know this should scare me. I
shouldn’t want to talk to this man. He’s obviously not led the easiest life and has been involved in God
knowswhat.

Buthe’salsobeingnice,andIfeelcomfortablearoundhim.Drawntohim.Attractedtohim.LikeI’ve

knownhimforyears.WhichiswhyIreallyneedtoleave.

“Ineedtogethome,”Isay,butmakenomovetogo.
Whatiswrongwithme?
“Letmetakeyouhome,then,”hesays,grinning,flashinghisstraightwhiteteeth.
“Right,lettherandomstrangerinabikergangtakemehome,”Iscoff,raisingmyeyebrow.“IthinkI’ll

passonthat.”

“Yourloss.”Hesmirks,studyingmewithanintensityIdon’tlike.It’salmosttoomuch,toodirect.Like

hiseyesmissnothing.I’veneverhadanyonelookatmelikethatbefore,anditmakesmewanttoavoidhis
eyes,butIdon’t.No,Ilookdirectlyintothem,andIfeelsomethingwhenIdo.What,I’mnotsure,but
somethingdifferent,somethingthat’sgoingtomakemewonder.

Sometimes you meet people and they just stick with you. I know that he’s going to be one of those

peopleforme.MythroatmusclesworkasIswallow,mygazeloweringtohislips.Iwonderwhattheytaste
like,whathiskisseswouldfeellikeonmyskin.WhenIglancebackupintohiseyes,they’reheavy-lidded,
hisnostrilsflaring.Thetensionbetweenusthickens,andIknowthatIneedtoleaverightnow,beforeIsay
somethingstupidlikeLet’sgobacktomymotel.

“I’msure,”Isayinadrytone,tryingtocoveruptheroughnessofmyvoice,puttingmynow-empty

bottleonthecounterandstandingup.“It’stimeformetogo.”

Ineedanotherman’sinterestlikeIneedanextratenpoundsonmyass.Andthisman—heisdangerous

tome.BecauseIalreadywanthim,andI’veonlyjustmethim.

“Letmebuyyouanotherdrink,”hesaysquickly,butIshakemyhead,smilingtosoftentheblow.
“No,thankyou.Nicemeetingyou,though,”Isay,turningtoleave.IhatethatIpauseforamoment,

reconsidering.No.Ineedtoleave,now.

“Tina,”hesays,makingmeturntolookathisfaceagain.

“What?”Iaskwarily.Ifheasksmetostayonemoretime,Imightcave.Partofmewantstostay,drink,

chat,andcarryonlikeanormalwomanmyagewould,buttheothersideofmeknowsbetter,thatIreally
don’tneedamaninmyliferightnow.

“Seeyouaround.”Hemakesitsoundlikeathreat.
Onemorelingeringglance,andthenIgetthehelloutofthere.

Ilookaroundthemotelroomandexhale,throwingmybagontothewhitesheetsofthedoublebed.More
of an apartment than a motel: it has a small kitchen, bathroom, and desk, kind of like a low-budget
extended-stayaccommodation.Itwillhavetodofornow.

Newtown.Freshstart.
Onlyproblemis,IhavenoideawhatIwanttodowithit.
IlefteveryoneIknewbehindme—myfamily,thefriendsI’dhadsincegradeschool,allgone.Moving

across the country alone is definitely an eye-opening experience. If I didn’t know who I was before, I’m
definitelygoingtofindoutnow.Ihaveonlymyselftorelyon,nomatterwhathappens,andthat’sbotha
scaryandfreeingfeeling.Iglancedownatmynewphone,withthenumberIgavetoonlymyparentsand
Lacey.Ileftinthemiddleofthenight.Justgotinmycarandlefttown.Afreshstart,anewlife.

Nomoreabusivephonecalls.
Nomorebeingembarrassedinpublic.
Nomorethreats.
I’mfree.Untilhefindsme.
Icanonlyhopehedoesn’tbotherlooking.
Ipulloffmyhoodieandslidedownmyjeans,thentakeoffmyblackbraandpantiesbeforeheading

intothesmallbathroomtostareatmyreflectioninthemirror.

Ilooklikehell.
Withnomakeuptocoverthebagsundermyeyes,mypaleskinlooksalmosttranslucent.Thebruiseson

myupperarmsarenolongerthere,yetIstareatthespotsoncemottledinlividblueandpurple.Itouch
myrightarmwithmyfingers,placingeachfingerwherehisoncepressedhardagainstthebone.

Hetriedtomakemeweak.
Whatkindofmandoesthat?Whatkindofmantriestomakeyoupayforhisownshortcomings?
Heisweak,notI.
MygreeneyeshaveafirebehindthemthatonlyIcansee.Fireasredasmyhair.Asfieryasmytemper.

Insidemeliesacoreofsteel.

Hecouldn’tbreakme—nomanevercan.
BecauseonlyIownme.
Iturnontheshowerandwaituntilthetemperatureisperfectbeforegettingin,lettingthewarmwater

sootheme.IneverwanttosetfootinmycaragainafterallthedrivingI’vedone,butI’mgoingtohaveto
gojobhuntingtomorrow.AssoonasIgetsomework,Icanfindamorepermanentplacetolive,maybea

small apartment of my own. As I soap my body, my mind wanders to the magnetic man from the bar,
Ardan.

He’sfascinating,sexyassin,andhasmecurious.
Idon’tlikethefactthathe’salreadyinmyhead,thatI’mthinkingabouthim.
Whatisitabouthimexactly?
GoodthingI’llneverseehimagain.

TWO

T

HE

nextmorning,coffeeinhand,IleavemyrésuméwitheverysalonIcanfind.Ilookonlineandinthe

paperforanyhairstylingjobs,andcallafewplaceshopingforaninterview.AfterIhandoutallthecopies
of my résumé I have with me, I decide to head back to the motel. Looking much better than I did
yesterday,inblackslacksandacreamblouse,mylonghairsomewhattamedinalowponytail,Ifeellikea
wholenewwoman.Concealercoversthedarkcirclesundermyeyes,andthelightmakeupIappliedhasme
feelingprettydamngoodaboutmyself.

Icandothis.
When I pass a café, I decide to stop and grab something to eat. I probably shouldn’t have skipped

breakfast,butIwaseagertostartsearchingforanyavailablepositions.IfIdon’tfindanything,Icanalways
workatabar,orasawaitress.I’mnotreallyinapositiontobepickyrightnow,but,luckily,Idohave
somesavings.I’dprefernottotouchthemifIcanhelpit,justincaseDarrendecidestomakemylifehell
andIhavetoleaveagain.

It’seasyformetosavemoney—I’mnotmuchofaspender,andIrarelysplurgeonexpensiveitems.If

anything,myweaknessisbooks.Idon’tthinkanyonecanhavetoomanybooks.Myfavoriteisnonfiction
—IhaveseveralbiographiesIreadoverandoveragain.

AsIlookaroundthequaintlittlecafé,IrealizethistownmightbeaplaceIcouldactuallyseemyself

staying. But I won’t be able to settle down and get comfortable anywhere, not until I’m certain he’s
forgottenaboutme.Idon’tknowwhyIthinkthistimewillbedifferent;maybebecauseItraveledtothe
othersideofthecountry.MaybeI’mbeingoptimistic,ormaybeI’mjustbeingstupid.

Idon’tknowwhy,butIfeelaflareofhopethatsomethingwillchange,thatforoncesomethinggood

will happen to me here. Or maybe I’m just too far gone and can’t worry about the consequences at this
point.WhatkindoflifewasIlivingbefore?Nothingcouldbeworsethanthat.Notonlydidhemakemy
lifemiserablebutI’malsostilllivingwiththeeffectsofhim,andIhatethat.

I keep everyone at a distance now. I have nightmares and replay events over in my head, wishing I’d

reacteddifferently.Iwanthimoutofmylifeineveryway,butIguessthat’sgoingtotaketime.OnceI
knowhe’smovedon,I’llfinallybeabletobreatheeasily.

Asawaitresstakesmyorder,Igetdistractedbytwomensittinginmylineofsight.

One has short blond hair, a lip ring, and an eyebrow piercing, while the other has a shaved head and

browneyes.They’rebothhandsome,butthat’snotwhatcatchesmyeye.They’rebothbikers,andwearing
thesamecutthatArdanhadon.

JusthowbigaretheWindDragons?Ishouldgooglethem.
Thebaldmancatchesmelookingandwinksatme.Red-cheeked,Ilookdownatmyphonejusttoavoid

eye contact. When I see a message from Lacey, I open it eagerly, happy to have something to keep me
occupied.

Imissyou!Hopeeverythingiswell.Sameoldoverhere.Letmeknowthatyou’reokay.Xoxo

Iexhaleandletmyfingerlingerabovethekeysforafewsecondsbeforereplying.

Imissyoutoo.I’mfine,Lace.Willcallsoon.Xoxo

AmIfine?
IthinkIam.
Thebikerssoonleave,andIenjoymyburgerandfrieswithoutanydistraction.
I’vejustparkedmycarinthemotellotwhenIgetaphonecallfromJessica,amanageratoneofthe

salonsIvisitedtoday.WhensheasksifIcancomeintomorrowforatrial,Itellherofcourse,hangup,and
thendomyhappydance.

Yes!Finally,thingsarestartingtoworkoutinmyfavor.

“Nicetohaveanotherredheadinthesalon,”JessicajokeswhenIwalkintotheplacethenextday.Herhair
isstraight,andmoreorangethanmydeepcurlyred.She’sabeautifulwomanandseemsveryconfidentin
herself.

“Thankyouforgivingmeachance,”Itellhersincerely,glancingaroundthesalon.“Ican’twaittoget

started.”

She smiles and gives me a small tour, showing me where everything is kept and the products that she

choosestouseforherclients.

“Wehavefourgirlsworkinghere—five,includingyou,”sheexplains,sittingdowninoneofthechairs.

“It’sgettingalittlebusier,whichiswhyIwantedtohiresomeoneelse.Thejobisfull-time,fivedaysaweek.
WetaketurnsdoingSaturdays.”

“Soundsgood.”
Shegrinsandraisesaneyebrow.“Asforyourtest...Iwantyoutocutmyhair,soIcanseehowgood

ofajobyoudo.”

“Nopressure,then?”Ijoke,studyingherhair,alreadycomingupwithideas.
“Nottoomuchoff,”shesays,cuttingintomythoughts.“Mymanlikesmyhairalittleonthelongside.”
“Noted,”Isay.“Howaboutaninchoffthebackandmorelayersframingyourface?”

“Perfect,”shesays,spinningthechairaroundandlookingatherselfinthemirror.“Thisismynatural

color;Ialwayskeepitlikethis.”

“It’spretty,”Isay,grabbingmybagandpullingoutmyfavoritepairofscissors.
“YouremindmeofthegirlfromBrave,”shesays,smiling.“Allthatwildredcurlyhair.”
“Igetthatalot,”Iadmitgood-naturedly.“Itakeitasacompliment.”
“Youshould.You’reabeautifulgirl.”
“Thankyou,”Isayalittleshyly,runningmyfingersthroughherhair.“Nowletmeimpressyou.”

“Iloveit,”Jessicasays,runningherfingersthroughhernewcut.“You’reverytalented,Valentina.”

“Thankyou,”Isay,beamingasshelooksatherselfinthemirror.Thedooropensandtwoladieswalk

in.

“PaulaandLin,meetValentina,”Jessicasaystothem.
“JustTina,”Itellthem,smiling.Paulalookstobeinherforties,withdarkhairandeyes,whileLinlooks

youngerthanme,andisofAsiandescent.

“Tina,”Jessicacorrectsherself,puttingahandonmyshoulder.“Benicetoher.Helpheroutifsheneeds

it,orneedstoknowwhereanythingis.Tina,I’llshowyouhowtoworkthecashregisternow.”

“Shecutyourhair?Itlooksgood,”Paulasays,noddingherheadandpursingherlipsasshechecksitout.

“Welcometothemadness,Tina.”

Igrinatthat.“Happytobehere.”
“Mollyismyotheremployee,buttoday’sherdayoff,soyou’llmeethertomorrow,”Jessicasays,leading

meovertotheregister.“Thisisprettysimple.Mostpeoplepaywithcardsnowadaysanyway,butiftheydo
paycash,youjusttypeintheamountandpress

ENTER

toopenthecashdrawer.”

Ilookoverallthebuttonsandnod.“Noproblem.”
Shepullsoutapieceoflaminatedpaper.“Thisisthepricechartyoucanrefertoifyouneedto.Linis

usuallyatreception,soyouprobablywon’thavetodoanyofthis,butI’dratheryouknowitjustincase
she’sonherbreakorit’sherdayofforwhatever.”

“Okay,”Isay,takingitallin.
“You’ll be doing any walk-ins today,” she continues. “Or if some of the clients don’t mind trying

someonenew,I’llsendthemtoyou.I’lljustshowthemmyhairasproofthatyouknowwhatyou’redoing.
Storeopensintenminutes,soIhopeyou’rereadyforthis.”

Ilookaroundthesalonandsmile.
Eightmirrorswithchairs,twosinks,andasmallbeautyroomforwaxingandfacials.
Perfect.Thisismeinmyelement.
Yeah,I’mready.

THREE

“S

HIT,”

ImutterasIemptymypurseoutonthetableforthesecondtime.“Whereisit?”

Ipickupeachcard,butit’snotthere.
WhenwasthelasttimeIsawmydriver’slicense?
Rackingmybrain,IrealizeitwaswhenIwasatthatbar,Knox’sTavern.Mycardshadfallenoutofmy

purse,butI’dpickedthemallup,hadn’tI?

Igooglethenumberforthebar,thencallthem.
“Knox’sTavern,Ryanspeaking.”
“Hey,”Isayintothephone,crossingmyfingers.“IwaswonderingifIleftmydriver’slicenseatyour

bartheotherday.”

“What’syourname,sweetheart?”
“ValentinaSullivan.”
There’sapauseontheotherend.“Valentina.Yeah,yourlicenseishere.Comepickitupanytime.”
Whydidhisvoicesoundsuddenly...amused?
“Umm,okay,thanks.I’llbeinlatertoday.”
“Perfect,seeyouthen,”hesayscheerfully,thenhangsup.
Istareatmyphone,feelingpuzzledabouttheexchange,butthenIshakemyhead.Idon’thavetimeto

wonderaboutit,becausemylunchbreakisalmostoverandIhavetogobacktowork.AtleastIhadn’tlost
mylicense—thatwouldhavebeenapainintheass.Notonlythat,butreplacingitwouldhavebeenasure
wayformetobetracked,havingtodocumentmynewaddressandcity.

Knowingmyluck,acopwillprobablypullmeoveronthewaytothebar.
Icrosstheroadandheadbackintothesalon,coffeeinmyhand.
“Tina,”Jessicasays,smilingwidely,beforeIcaneventakeasip.“Friedalovedthehaircoloryoudidon

hertoday.Youdidwell.”

“Thanks,”Ireply,lookingdownatmycoffee.“Ithinkbeingblondsuitsher.”
“Itdoes,”Jessicasays,makingmelookbackupather.“Somuchsothatshewantsyoutobeherregular

hairdresser.”

“Really?”Iask,myeyesflaring.“That’sgreat.”
Jessicaraiseshereyebrow.“Quiteafeat,girl.Youshouldbeproudofyourself.”

Ismile,feelingtheheathitmycheeks.“Iam.”
“Good,”shesayswarmly.“Nowgetbacktowork.Lin,youcangoonbreaknow.”
“Okay,”Linsays,grabbingherbagandpullingoutapacketofcigarettes.“Anyonewantanything?”
“I’mgood,”Jessicasays,thenlookstoMolly.“Molls,Paula,you?”
“Nah,”Mollyreplies,lookingupfromwhereshe’ssweepinghairoffthefloor.“I’llgetsomethingonmy

break.”

“I’mgood,”Paulareplies,liftingherchininourdirection.
Mollyturnedouttobeaprettyblondeinhermidtwenties.ShekindofremindsmeofaBarbiedoll,

withbigblueeyesandevenbiggerboobs.Sheisnice,though.Allthewomenheremakemefeelwelcome,
andthereisnoneofthebitchinessI’dsometimesexperiencedinothersalons.

Twoclientswalkin,andIgostraightbackintoprofessionalmode.
ButIcan’tstopsmilingfortherestoftheday.

“AreyouRyan?”Iaskthehandsomeblondbartender.

“Yes,”hesays,draggingthewordout.
“Ispoketoyoutodayaboutmylicense,”Isay,sittingdownonthestool.“Valentina.”
“Right,”hesays,liptwitching.“Ofcourse.Letmegetthatforyou.”
Iwatchashewalkstotheoppositesideofthebarandpicksuphisphone,pressingkeysandignoring

me.

“Ummm,”Isay,mybrowfurrowing.“Areyougoingtogetmylicenseornot?”
Heputsdownhisphone,thencomesbackovertome.“Yes,ofcourseIwill.Butfirst,wouldyoulike

somethingtodrink?Onthehouse.Abeerfan,right?”

Inarrowmyeyes.“Whyareyoubeingweird?”
Ryan’sfacegoesblank.“Ihavenoideawhatyou’retalkingabout.”
“Canyoupleasejustgiveittome?”Isay,puffingoutabreath.“I’vehadalongday,andI’mtired.”
Hegetsmeabeerandslidesitovertome.“Exactlywhyyouneedacolddrinktohelpyourelax.”
Mygazedartsfromthebeer,thenbacktohim,asItrytofigureoutwhathe’supto.“CanIspeakto

yourmanager?”

Hisblueeyesflashwithamusement.“Surething,sweetheart.”Hepauses,thenyellsout,“Reid!”making

mejump.

“What?”comesadeepvoicefromtheback.
“Comehere!”
Idon’tknowwhyRyan’sgrinning,butheis.
Amanemerges.
Fuck.
“Youhaveatwin?”Iaskwithwideeyes.That’safuckofalotofhotness.Ipickupthebottleandtakea

sip.Okay,morelikeagiantmouthful.

“What’sgoingon?”Reidaskshisbrother,barelysparingmeaglance.
Ryannodshisheadtome.“Shewantstospeaktothemanager.”Hepauses,thenlaughs.“Tocomplain

aboutme.”

Reidsmirks,crossinghisarmsoverhisbroadchest.“Whatdidyoudonow?”
“Nothing,”Ryansaysgood-naturedly,sendingawinkinmydirection.“Iwastoldtokeepherhere.So

I’mdoingjustthat,tryingtobuytimeuntilIrisharrives.”

Reidnowlooksmedirectlyintheeye.“ThisisIrish’swoman?”
Iraisemyhand.“Idon’tknowwhatthetwoofyouareeventalkingabout.”
Butinthebackofmymind,Ikindofdo.IspoketoArdaninthisverybar,andthedudehasanIrish

accent.

Coincidence?Ireallyhopeso.
Because why would he go to such measures to see me again? We didn’t even talk for that long. The

thoughtbothexcitesmeandscaresme.DidImakesuchanimpressiononhim,likehedidonme?Doesit
matter,consideringmyplanistostayawayfromhim?

Iholdoutmyhandandtrytousemypuppy-dogeyesonReid,sinceRyanclearlyisn’tbudging.“Ihave

thingstodo.Canyoupleasejustgivememygoddamnlicense?”

Whentheybothlookovermyshoulder,thehaironthebackofmynecksuddenlystandsonend.
Iturnaround,andthereheis.
Grinning.
Hisgazeroamsoverme,slowly,andwhenhecomesbacktomyeyes,heholdsmylicenseupintheair.

“IthinkI’vegotsomethingthat’syours,darlin’.”

I look behind me and scowl at the twins. Reid just shrugs, but Ryan smiles widely, then wiggles his

eyebrows.

“I’mnevercomingintothisbaragain,”Ivow.“Like,ever.”
Ardanstalkstowardmeandhandsmemylicenseatlast.“I’mtakingyououttodinner.”
“Thehellyouare.”Iglowerathim.“I’mgettinginmycarandgoinghome.”
“Youhavetoeat,”hesays,shruggingandlookingdownatme.“Whatdoyouwant?Yourchoice,babe.”
Idon’twanttogowithhim,butatthesametimeIdo.HowcouldInot?He’sconfident,attractive,and

hassomethingabouthimthatIwanttoabsorb.Justbeinginhispresencemakesmefeel...Idon’tknow
what.Likeadifferentperson.AbetterpersonthanIwas.Ithinkit’sallinthewayhelooksatme,likeI’m
someone special. It’s almost like he doesn’t like to take his eyes off me. Every time I look at him, he’s
alreadywatchingme.

Hesaysgood-byetothetwins,thentakesmebymywrist.Histouchinstantlymakesmeflinch,andI

pullmyarmawayfromhim.Hestopsandstudiesme,lookingdownatmywrist.“I’mnotgoingtohurt
you,” he says, scowling before his expression softens, his eyes gentling and his lips settling into position.
“I’mjustgoingtotakeyououtside.You’resafe,Ipromise.”

Irubmywrist,remindingmyselfthatnotallmenarelikeDarren.However,someare,andIseemtobe

amagnetforthosetypes.Ineedtobecarefulnottogettangledupinabadsituationagain.Inodmyhead
andtakeastepforward,silentlypermittinghimtocontinueleadingtheway.Heoffersmehishand,this
timewaitingformetochoosetoholditornot.Islidemineintohis,andhesqueezesitgently,reassuringly,

beforeleadingmeoutsidetohisbigmatteblackHarley.Ilikethewaymyhandfeelsenvelopedinhis.Ifeel
safeandstrongatthesametime.Idon’tknowhowhemakesmefeelthisway,socomfortable,buthedoes.
BeforeIevenknowwhat’sgoingon,heputsahelmetonmyhead,gentlytuckingmyhairinsidesoit’snot
allovermyface.

“I’llbringyoubackhereafterandthenyoucandriveyourcarhome,”hesayswithonehandonmy

lowerback,hisotherwavingtothebike.“Let’sgetyouonthere.”

Ifeelthewarmthofhishandthroughmyclothesandwonderhowitwouldfeelonmybareskin.Fuck.

Itwouldfeelgood.Sogood.Ithasbeentoolong,andIreallyshouldn’tbearoundthisman.WhereIneed
tobeisathome,probablywithavibrator.Idon’thaveone,butIthinkIneedtobuyone.MaybeI’llstop
atanadultshoponmywayhome.

“Well?”heasks,eyesstillonme,waitingpatientlywhileIthinkaboutsextoys.
I purse my lips and consider my options. A free meal sounds good. I don’t like that I like being in

Ardan’spresence.Hehasheartbreakerwrittenalloverhim,withbigredwarningsignseverywhere.

“Onemeal,”Ifindmyselfsaying.“Andthenyouneedtoleavemealone.”
“We’llsee,”hemutters,notgivingintoanyofmydemands.“Whatdoyouwanttoeat,Tina?”
“Lobster,”Idecideonthespot,asit’sthemostexpensivethingIcanthinkof.MaybeI’llevenorderan

appetizer,twosides,anddesserttoo.

Helaughs,hisdarkeyescrinklinginthecorners.“Lobsteritis.Nowgetyoursexyassonthebackofmy

bike.”

Ihesitate,glancingtowardmylittleredcar.DoIwanttogotodinnerwithhim?Whatcouldcomeof

this?

Ardansighsandstepstome,pickingmeupandliftingmeontothebike.“Spreadthosethighs.”
Irollmyeyesbutstraddlethebike,thenholdontohimashegetsonwithme.Hetakesmyhandsand

pullsthemaroundhisstomach.

AllIcanfeelistautmuscle.Nothingonthismanissoft.Thefeelingofhiswarmbackpressedagainst

mychesthasmewantingtoburymyfaceinthecrookofhisneck,totouchhimallover.Iholdontight
andrestmycheekagainsthisshoulder,justenjoyingbeingpressedagainsthim.

Hestartstheengine,andwe’reoff.I’vebeenonamotorcyclebefore,butitwasnothinglikethis,and

themanIrodewithwasnothinglikeArdan.Ifindmyselfenjoyingtheride,thesenseoffreedom.Ialso
enjoybeingpressedupagainstArdanwaytoomuch,myhandsonhisabs,mybreastspushedagainsthis
back.

ThebikecomestoastopafterwhatIguesstobeaboutthirtyminutes,andhehelpsmedown.AsItake

offthehelmetandhandittohim,Irunmyfingersthroughmyhair,tryingtotameitalittle.

“Didyoulikeit?”heasks,drawingmyattentiontohim.
“What?”Iask.
“Theride.”
“Yeah,” I tell him, smiling. “Loved it. I’ve been on a motorcycle before, but it was a piece of shit

comparedtoyours.”

Hiseyesnarrow.“Whosebikewereyouonthebackof?”
“Ummm,”Imutter,notwantingtogointothis.“Myex’s.”

“Isee,”Ardanmurmurs,jawgoingtightbeforehelooksaway.“Comeon,let’sgoeat.”
“Okay,then,”Isay,walkingnexttohiminsilenceasweapproachtherestaurantdoor.Heopensthe

doorforme,andIenterbeforehim.“Thanks.”

“Welcome,”hesays,placinghishandsonmywaistfrombehind.
“Ardan!”
“Yes,Valentina?”hesays,hisvoicethroaty.
For a second I wonder how he knows my full name, but then realize it’s because he read my driver’s

license.

Ithinkaboutpushinghishandsaway,becauseIdon’tthinkthisishowweshouldbeactingwhenit’s

onlythesecondtimewe’veeverseeneachother.However,Ipushmylogicalsideawayandletthemlinger
there,becauseitfeelsgood.Ismileatthehostess,whoiswatchingandwaitingforus.

“Tablefortwo,please.”

FOUR

“Y

OU’VE

reallynevertriedlobsterbefore?”Ardanasks,lookingsurprisedashewatchesmetasteit.

“Nope,”Ireply,lickingmylips.Hisgazelowerstomymouthasmytonguepeeksoutagain,lickingthe

butteraway.

“Andwhatdoyouthink?”heasks,hisvoicealittlehuskierthanbefore.
“It’sgood,”Isay,noddingslowlyandclearingmythroat.“Ilikeit.”
“I’mgladyoutriedsomethingnew,”hesays,leaningbackinhischair,stillwatchingmeeat.
“Areyougoingtostareatmetheentiretime,orareyougoingtoeatyourownfood?”Iask,archingan

eyebrow.Seriously,theintensitywithwhichhe’sstudyingmyeverymoveismakingmebothnervousand
extremelyturnedon.

Hisliptwitches.“Stoplickingyourfuckin’lips,then;it’shardtoconcentrate.”
Ipickupmynapkinandwipemymouth,decidingtoleavethatcommentalone.AtleastI’mnotthe

onlyonefeelingtheattraction.Idecidetobesafeandchangethesubject.“Sowhatdidyoudo?Findmy
licenseandthentellthetwinstocallyouwhenIcametolookforit?”

“Somethinglikethat,”hesays,grinningasifheknowswhyIchangedthesubjectbutnotcallingmeout

onit.“Iwantedtoseeyouagain.AfteryouleftIfoundyourlicenseonthefloor,knewyou’dbebackfor
it.”Heshrugslikeit’snobigdeal.“IsawanopportunityandItookit.”

That’sit?Hesawanopportunityandtookit?Hasanyoneeversaidnotothisman?
“You’reusedtogettingwhatyouwant,then,”Isay,tiltingmyheadtothesideasItrytofigurehimout.
“Iguessyoucouldsaythat,”hesays,eyeslockedonme.“Butthethingis,there’snotmuchIusually

want.SowhenIseesomethingworthit,thenyeah,I’llgoforit.”

HethinksI’mworthit?Whenhecanhaveanywomanoutthere,Ihavetowonderwhatdrovehimto

chooseme.WasitbecauseIwasactinguninterested?OrbecauseIwastryingtohideinthatbar?Imight
haveintriguedhim.Eitherway,Ihopeheisn’tplayingagamewithme.

“Whatexactlyisityouwant,Ardan?”Ifindmyselfasking.
Hetakesabiteofhisfoodandchewsandswallowsbeforeanswering.“WhenIknow,I’llletyouknow.

Butforrightnow,IguessIjustwanttobearoundyou.”

Iswallow.“Why?”
“Ican’tgiveyouanswersIdon’thave,Valentina.Isawyou,andIwantyou.That’sallIknow.”

“EveryonecallsmeTina,”Isay,whennothingelseseemstocomeoutofmymouth.
“Valentinaissuchaprettyname,though.”
“SoisArdan,”Ifireback.“ButthetwinswerecallingyouIrish.Why?”
“Everyone calls me Irish. Not many people know my real name,” he explains. “Everyone in the club

knowsmeasIrish.”

“IlikecallingyouArdan.”
“AndIlikecallingyouValentina.”
“ThenIguessthat’swhatwe’rebothcallingeachother,”Isay,shruggingmyshoulders.
Wefinishtherestofourmealinsilence,pretendingthatIdon’tnoticehimwatchingme.Ardanhands

methedessertmenu,andIlookoveritbrieflywhileasking,“Whatareyougetting?”

“WhatareyoudoingFridaynight?”heasksinthatsexyvoiceofhis.
Ilowerthemenuandlookathim.“Why?”
“Iwanttoseeyouisfuckin’why.”
“I’mgettingthecookies-and-creamcheesecake,”Isay,puttingdownthemenuwithoutlookingoverthe

otheroptions.Ilovecheesecake.“Whatareyougetting?”

“Valentina—”
“Ardan,”Isay,cuttinghimoff.“IgoogledtheWindDragonsMC,youknow.”
“Forfuck’ssake,seriously?”hemutters,scrubbinghishanddownhisface.“Well,you’restillhere,soit

couldn’thavescaredyouofftoomuch.”

Thewaitresscomesover,andheordersmycheesecakeandachocolatesundaeforhimself.
“I’mapartmenthuntingthisweekend,”Itellhim.
“Whyareyoumoving?”heasks,checkinghisphonebeforelookingupandwaitingformyanswer.
“I’mnewintown,soI’mstayingatamoteluntilIfindanapartment,”Iexplain.“ThisweekendI’m

goingtocheckafewout.”

HestaresatmelikeI’vegrownasecondhead.“You’relivingatafuckin’motelrightnow?Amotel?”
I nod slowly, wishing I had never opened my big mouth to say anything at all. “Yeah, what’s the big

deal? It’s just until I get a place, and it’s not actually a motel, it’s more like a self-catering short-stay
accommodation.

“What’sthebigfuckin’deal?You’realone,lookinglikeyoudo,inamotel,”hepauses.“Orself-catering

whatever,inacityyoudon’tevenknow.Yeah,what’sthebigdeal,right?”hesays,amuscletickinginhis
jaw.

Irollmyeyes.“It’sfine.”
“Ihaveaplaceyoucanstay,”hesays,lookingaroundtherestaurant.“Youcanmoveinthisweekend.”
“Yeah,no,”Itellhim.“Look,nooffense,butIdon’tevenknowyou.Ifyoukeepbeingthiscontrolling,

thisisthelasttimeyouwilleverseeme.”

LikeIneedanothercontrollingassholeinmylife.
Hislipstighten,buthesaysnothing.
Our desserts arrive, and to lighten the mood I offer him some of mine. He did take me out to an

expensivedinnerandhasbeenagentlemanallnight.Idon’twantustoendtheeveningonabadnote.His
eyesturnheavy-liddedasheleansoverthetableandIfeedhimaspoonfulofthedeliciouscheesecake.

“Sogood,”hemurmurs,lookingrightatme.“Perfect.”
Ilookdownatmydessert,feelingmycheeksheat.Itlooksdelicious,butsoishe.WhatamIdoinghere?

WhyamIsoattractedtohim?Ishouldbegoingforaquiet,gentleman,notanalphabiker,buthereIam.

“Open,”hesays,holdingaspoonfuloficecreamatmylips.
Igrinandopenmymouth,lettingthecreaminessmeltonmytongue.“It’sgood,butIthinkmineis

better.”

“SodoI,”headmits,eyeingmycheesecake.
Igrinandaskwhilescoopingmoreontothespoon,“Doyouwantanotherbite?”
Allofasudden,mymouthandthroatstarttingling.Idropthespoonontomyplateandlookupathim.
“Fuck,”Igroan.
“What?”heasks,instantlyalert.
“Aretherepeanutsinthat?”
Helooksdownathissundae.“Yeah,why?”
Igrabmythroat.“Oh,nothing,I’mjustkindofallergic.”
Hestandsup,hischairfallingoverbehindhim,andhestepsovertomeandpullsmeoutofmychair.

“WhatdoIdo?WhatthefuckdoIdo?”

“It’s not life threatening,” I say, grimacing. “I might break out in hives, though.” I pause. “Or get

nauseous.”

“We’regoingtothefuckin’hospital,”hegritsout,pullingouthisphoneinonehand,pullingmebymy

upperarmwiththeother.

Somuchfornotendingthenightonabadnote.

“You’vebeenlecturingmeforoveranhour;canyoujuststop,please?”Igroan,watchinghimpaceupand
downmyhospitalroom.“I’mfine.”

“Don’tyouthinkhavinganallergylikethatissomethingyoushouldmentionwhenamantakesyou

outtoeat?”hesaysforthesecondorthirdtime.

Iexpeladeepsigh.“Thisshitcouldonlyhappentome.”
“Becauseyoudidn’tmentionanyallergy.”Hestopsthepacingtoglareatme.“SoIfedyoumysundae,

whichhadpeanutsinit,whichputyouinthehospital.Whatagreatfuckin’firstdate.”

“Atleastit’smemorable,”Ipointout,whichonlymakeshimlooklikehewantstokillme.“Ohcome

on,it’skindoffunny.Atleastnowthattheitchinghasstopped.”

Hepointsatme,thencontinuestopace.“You’regoingtobethedeathofme,Iknowit.”
“Actuallyitlookslikeit’smewho’sgoingtoendupdead,”Ijoke,pointingatthehospitalbed.
“Valentina—”
“Ardan.”
Hesitsdownontheendofmybed,lookingcompletelyoutofplaceinhisall-blackgetupandleather

cut.“Doyouwantmetogetyousomethingtodrink?”

“Somewaterwouldbegreat,”Isayquietly.
Hetouchesmyankle,thenstandsup.“I’llberightback.Trytostayoutoftroubleuntilthen.”
I curse myself for letting this happen and ruining the night. Ardan has handled everything so well,

though,andI’mgladhe’sherewithme.Somethinginsidemeistellingmetogivehimachance,thathe’s
worthit.MaybeIcouldkeepmyselfalittledetachedjustincaseitdoesn’tworkout?IwishIcouldbelike
that,butIknowIcan’t.IfI’mgivinghimmytime,it’sbecauseIlikehimandIthinkthattherecouldbe
somethingbetweenus.I’mdrawntohim,andalthoughatinypartofmeisveryflightyrightnow,mostof
mewantstobenearthisman.DarrenneverlookedaftermewhenIwassick.Infact,ifIwerestillwith
him,I’dbesittinginthisroomalonerightnow.Idon’tthinkArdanknowshowthankfulIamthathe’s
here,lookingafterme.It’snotsomethingI’mreallyusedto,andsomethingIwon’tbetakingforgranted.

He’sbackinafewmoments,openingabottleofwaterandhandingittome.
“Thankyou.”
Hecupsmycheek.“Youknow,evensittinghereinthedamnhospital,I’dratherbewithyouthanany

otherwomanIknow.”

Ileanintohispalm,enjoyingthefeelingofamantouchingmelikethat,sotenderly.Ihaven’thada

man’stouchlikethisinsolong,andIdidn’trealizehowmuchIcraveituntilrightnow.“I’mgladyou’re
herewithmetoo,”Iadmitsoftly.“Idon’treallyhaveanyfriendshereyet,soifthishappenedsomewhere
else,I’dbesittingherealone.”

“No,youwouldn’t,”hesays,takingmyphonefromme.“Puttingmynumberinyourphone.Youneed

meanytime,dayornight,youcallme,darlin’.Fromkillingspiderstofixingyourcar,Igotyou.”

“Ilikespiders,”Isay,smilingathiskindoffer.“Thankyou,Ardan.”
Hehandsbackmyphoneandlooksdownatmeonthebed.“Ofcourseyoulikespiders.Nowmove

over.”

Iscootoverandhesitsdownonthebed.Hetriestoslideontoit,butonlyhalfhisbodyfits.
“Howtallareyou?”Iaskhim,feelingamused.
“Sixthree.Why?”
“Justasking,”Isay,layingmyheadonhisshoulder.HewrapshisarmaroundmeandIsmileandclose

myeyes.“Thisistheweirdestfirstdateinthehistoryoffirstdates.”

“Normalisboring,”hesays,andIcanhearthesmileinhisvoice.
“TheysaidIdon’thavetostayovernight;Icangohomeaftertheydoacheckup.”
“We’llhavetogototherestaurantandgetmybike,thengoandgetyourcarfromthebar,”hesays.We

took a taxi from the restaurant, because Ardan didn’t want me on the bike, just in case. “And then I’ll
followyouhome.”Hepauses.“OrshouldIjusttakeyouhomeandwecangetyourcartomorrow?”

“I’mfinetodrive,”Isay,yawning.“Icouldgoforsomecoffee,though.”
“I’llgetyousome,”hesaysgently.“Ifyou’retired,youcanhaveanapuntilthenursecomestocheckon

you,ifyoulike.”

“You’recomfortable,”Isay,buryingmyfaceinhisneck.“Andyousmellgood.”
“Yeah,youshouldprobablystopthat,”hesaysinahuskytone,shiftinginhisspot.“Idon’tthinkthe

nurseisgoingtoappreciatewalkinginandseeingmyhard-onstrainingagainstmyjeans.”

Lifting my head, I look at him. “You’re probably right.” I take a deep breath and ask him, “What’s

Irelandlike?”

“Beautiful,”hesays,turninganimated.“You’dloveit.Thepeople,theviews.Thehistory.It’sallthereto

explore.”

“Hmmm,”Imurmur.“Soundsperfect.I’vealwayswantedtotraveltheworld,butI’veneverevenleft

thecountry.”

“Really?”Hesoundssurprised.“Youshoulddoit—seewhat’soutthere,youknow?”
“Yeah,”Isay,movingevenclosertohim.
“Sleep.”
Isleep.

FIVE

“I

DON’T

likeyoustayinghere,”Ardanannounces,lookingaroundmymotelroom.“Especiallynotalone.”

Iputmybagdownonthecouch,thenturntohimandcrossmyarms.“Don’tcarewhatyoulike.I’m

stayinghereuntilIsortmyselfout.It’sreallynotabigdeal.”

Hegoesandfiddleswiththelocks,scowlingandmutteringsomethingabouttoddlersbeingabletobreak

throughthem.

“No one is going to break in; it’s fine. Now I need to shower and go to sleep. And you need to go

home.”

Hestraightensandturns,staringmedown.“Fine.I’llbehereFridayeveningtopickyouup.”Hecloses

thespacebetweenusandpushesoneofmyerrantcurlsbehindmyear.“Youhavemynumber.Anything
happens,youcallme.I’llbeherefasterthanthepoliceeverwill.”Hegrins.“AndI’mscarierthanthem
too.”

Igrinatthat.
“Nothingwillhappen,”Isay,feelingalittleflusteredathiscloseproximity.“ButI’llcallyouifanything

comesup.”

Inthehospitalbed,I’dbeenvulnerableandIlethimin.Butnow,backinreality,IrealizehowstupidI

was.Ibarelyknowthisguy.Heissonice,though.Sosweet.Noonehaseverfussedovermelikethat,and
he’sseenmeonlytwice.

Whyishelikethis?
Abadboywithagoodheart.
I’msofucked.
“Good,”hesays,leaningforwardandkissingmesoftlyonthelips—barelyatouch,butIfeelit.
IfeelitmorethanI’veeverfeltakissinmylife.
Irunmyindexfingeralongmybottomlip.
Whatthefuckwasthat?
Idon’tknow.ButIwantitagain.
Ardantiltshisheadandsmiles,hisdarkeyesalmostblack.“Andfinallyyoufeelittoo.”
Anotherkiss,thistimeontheforehead,andhewalkstomydoor.“Lockit,Valentina.”

Ifollowhimandlockitthesecondheleaves.Ihearafaint“Goodgirl,”beforethesoundofhissteps

becomesdistant.

Iturnaroundandlookaroundthemotelroom,suddenlyfeeling...Idon’tknow,almostlost.Ishake

myheadandwalktothebathroom.Ineedashowerandbed,andthenIneedtomentallydistancemyself
fromArdanbeforeFridaycomesaround.

Howhardcoulditbe?

“Whatareyoudoing?”IaskhimasIstepintothekitchen.Heturnsandgrins.“You’rehomeearly.”Iputmy
bagdownonthetableandwrapmyarmsaroundhim.“Somethingsmellsgood.”Iliftmyhead.“What’sthe
occasion?Younevercook.”

Hekissesthetopofmyhead.“Iwasgoingtosurpriseyouwithacandlelitdinner.Whydidyouhavetofinish

earlyontodayofalldays?”

Ilooktowardthediningtable,seeingfourwhitecandlessittingthereinthecenter.“That’ssosweet,Darren.”
He puts the ladle down and grips my cheeks in his palms. “I love you so much. Just wanted to try to do

somethingniceforyoutoshowyouIappreciateyou.”

Hekissesme,andIsmileagainsthislips.
Iwakeupsuddenly,pantingandglancingaroundthemotelroom.
Fuck.
Something I’ve realized is that it isn’t always the bad memories that get you. Sometimes the good

memoriescandomoredamage,causemorepain,becausetheymakeyouquestionyourself,andmakeyou
wonderwhereitallwentwrong.Whenwasthemomentthatitwentbad?CanIpinpointit?

Irubmyeyesandthencovermyfacewithmyhands.
He’sstillcomingafterme,inmydreamsnow.TheonlytimeIcan’tcontrolmythoughts.
Andhe’snotevenhurtingmeinmydreams—no,he’skillingmewithkindnessandmemoriesofgood

times.

My alarm goes off, and “The Hills” by the Weeknd starts to play. I listen to the entire song before

makingmyselfjumpintotheshowerandwashmyhair.

Timetogetreadyforwork.
Fuckthepast.Ithasnoplacehere.

Friday comes around quickly, and I’ve found myself looking forward to tonight. If I’m being honest, I
haven’tstoppedthinkingaboutArdansinceIlastsawhim.AfterworkIdrivehome,takeaquickshower,
andgetdressedinjeansandawhitetanktop.SinceArdandidn’ttellmewhereweweregoing,Iwearflats

insteadofheels,aimingforcomfortoversexiness.Hemessagedmeafewtimesduringtheweek,andIhave
towonderwhat’sgoingthroughhismind.

Isheamanwholikesthechase,butoncehehasmehelosesinterest?That’sthemostlikelysituation,

andIdon’tknowwhattodoaboutit.Ilikehim.Ilikespendingtimewithhim.AndIamexcitedtosee
himagain.Yes,Iamprobablyanidiot,butheismyonlyfriend,andhe’spushedhiswayintomylifethus
faranditseemsheintendstostay.Aknockletsmeknowhe’shere,soIgrabmyknitcardiganoffthebed
andunlockthedoor.

“Hey,”Isay,browfurrowingashestepsinside,sometoolsinhishand.“Whatareyou—”
“Puttinginabetterlockforyou,”hesays,pullingoutarectangularsilverlatchandholdingitupagainst

thedoor.“Won’tbebutafewminutes.”

Iopenmymouthandthencloseit.
Whodoesstufflikethis?
“YourealizeIwon’tbestayinghereforlong,like,atall,”Ipointout,watchingashedrillsanewhigh-

techlockin.

“Yup,”hereplies.“Butyou’llbesafeforthattime,nowwon’tyou?”
Isighandmutter,“You’recrazy,”towhichhereplies,“Fuckin’batshit.”
Whenhe’sdoneheturnsaroundandgrins,handingmethenewkey,whichIputdownonthetable.

“Youlookbeautiful.”

“Thankyou,”Itellhim,touchinghisleatherjacket.“Ididn’tknowwhereweweregoingtonight,soI

wasn’tsurehowdressytoget.”

“You’reperfect,”hesays,pullingmeagainsthishardbody.
“You’renotsobadyourself.Thanksforthelock,”Isay,lipskickingupatthecorners.“Betterthanthe

normal,boringflowersmostmenbring.”

Ardanthrowshisheadbackandlaughs.“Yeah,IguessyoucansayI’mnotverytraditional.”
Irestmyfaceagainsthischest.“I’mmorethanokaywiththat.”
“Valentina,”hesaysinaquiet,deeptone.“Youshouldprobablystoptouchingme,unlessyouwantto

canceltonight,becauseI’mabouttoliftyouagainstthewallandfuckyou.”

Ishiveratthequietsincerityinhisvoice,thesensualthreatthathasmebitingmylip.Itakeastepback

andliftmychin.“Webettergo,then.”Iwalktothedoorandhalfturnsohecanseemyface.“Butwhen
wegetback,Ithinkourfirsttimeshouldbeonthebed.”Ismirk.“Thenwecantrythewall.”

Isaunteroutofthemotelroom,leavinghimstandingthere,cursingunderhisbreath.Ismiletomyself.
A few seconds later, he closes and locks the door, then grabs me and pushes me up against it. “Those

wordscomingoutofyourbeautiful,poutymouth.Fuck.WebettergobeforeIgiveyouexactlywhatyou
want,rightnow.”Hestepsback,leavingmefeelinghot,mynippleshardeningandmyteethsinkinginto
mybottomlip.

Helooksawayfromme,asifgatheringhiscomposure,thensays,“Youdidn’teventakethenewroom

key.”

“Iknewyouwould,”Iadmit,gettingmyselfundercontrol.Afterafewmoments,Iintertwinehishand

in mine, still feeling the heat between us but knowing that waiting until later will make it even more
amazing.“Now,Ardan,whereexactlyarewegoing?”

SIX

“W

ELL,

thiswasn’twhatIwasexpecting,”Isay,smilingupathim.“You’rejustfullofsurprises,aren’tyou?”

Hesmilesandholdsontothewall.“I’veneverbeenbefore,soIwantedtotryit.It’sfuckin’slippery,

though.Howthefuckisanyonemeanttodothis?”

Iarchmybrows.“It’sice.Whatdidyouexpectittobelike?”
Hescowlsandshuffleshisskatesalongtheiceatasnail’space.
“IfonlyyourMCbuddiescouldseeyounow,”Itease,pullingoutmyphone.“Ineedaphotoofthis.

Fuck,youlooksocute.”Igiggle,makinghimnarrowhiseyesandstopmoving.

“Comeon,showmewhatyouhave,then,darlin’.”
Iskateinacirclearoundhim.“Ican’tdoanythingfancy,butIwentice-skatingafewtimeswhenIwas

akid.”

“Andit’slikeridingabicycle?”heasksdryly,lettinggoofthebarricadesandpushingforward.
Ihookmyarmthroughhisandslowdown,helpinghimalong.“You’llgetthehangofitsoonenough.”
“Fuckin’better,”hegrumbles,glancingaround.“Therearekidsskatingcirclesaroundmerightnow.”
“Well,youregodoesneedtobetakendownanotch,”Isaywithastraightface.“Ilovehowtheyplay

musicintherink.Makesmewanttodance.”

Iputmyfreearmabovemyheadandtwirlitaround.
Ardangrins.“Humiliatingmyselfisworthittoseeyouhavingagoodtime.Iwasn’tsureifyou’denjoy

yourself.”Hepauses.“Ican’trememberthelasttimeItookawomanonadate,sofuckifIwasn’tunsure
aboutthewholething.”

“Iamhavingagoodtime,”Isay,lookingoverathim.Hecan’trememberthelasttimehehadadate?

Well,neithercanI.I’mgladhetookmesomewherealittledifferent—itshowsthatheputsomethought
intoit,whichIdefinitelycanappreciate.“Thankyouforbringingmehere.”

Hepullsmetoastopandplaceshishandsonmyhips,drawingmecloser.
“Whatdoyouwant?”Iaskplayfullyashelowershislipstomine.
“Justataste,”hesays,eyesonmymouth.
“Atasteofwhat’stocome?”
Hesmiles.

Cuppingthebackofmyneckwithonehand,hekissesmedeeply,histonguetastingmine.Hemoans—

orwasthatme?ThiskissisunlikeanyI’veeverexperienced.It’smorethanjustpossessive;it’shungry.Ican
actuallyfeelthewantradiatingfromhim.Theneed.Icantasteitinhiskiss,inthewayheholdsme.

Whenhepullsaway,I’mleftweakintheknees.Ihavetoclingtohimforsupport.
It’sinthismomentthatIdecidewithoutadoubtIwanttobewiththisman,toseewhereitleadsus.I

don’twanttoletDarrenstopme.Mypastshouldn’thavecontrolovermyfuture.

“Nowthat’sakiss,”Ibreathe,lickingmylips.“Canwegohomenow?”
Hechuckles.“AfterIlearnhowtofuckin’ice-skate.”
“We’llbehereallnight,then,”Igrumble,butIcan’twipethesmileoffmyface.
“Don’tworry,”hesays,movingalongtheicewithmyhandinhis.“I’mafastlearner.”
Weleaveintwohours.

Hekissesalongmyjawline,andthendownmyneck.

“You know you don’t have to do this if you’re not ready,” he murmurs, biting down gently on my

earlobe.

“Why do I think that’s the first time you’ve ever said that to a woman?” I tease, closing my eyes and

enjoyinghislipsagainstmyskin.

“Becauseitis,”hesays,andIfeelhimsmileagainstmyneck.
“Iwantyou,”Iwhisper.“Now’snotthetimetobeagentleman,Ardan.”
Heliftshisheadatthat,thenkissesmymouthwhilepushingdownthestrapsofmytanktop,alongwith

mybrastraps.IsitupenoughsoIcanreachbehindmetoundomybra.Hepullsitoffforme,throwingit
aside,thenpullsdownmytoptomywaist,baringmybreastsandstomachtohim.

“Fuck,” he grits out, cupping my breasts with his hands and squeezing gently. “You’re beautiful

everywhere.”

Ilookdownatmyboobs,whicharecurrentlycompletelycoveredbyhishands,becausethereisn’tmuch

thereinthefirstplace.

“Youhaven’tevenseeneverywhere,”Isay,undoingmyjeansandstrugglingoutofthem.Ardanhelps,

thenstudiesmyredlacepantiesbeforetakingthoseofftoo.

“Perfect,” he murmurs, spreading my thighs and flashing me a playful look before kissing my inner

thighs,oneandthentheother.“Yousmellsogood.”

Iliebackonthepillowbutkeepmygazelockedonhimasheslowlyexploresmybody.Heslidesone

fingerinsideme,thendragsittomyclit,gentlyrubbingthere.Itfeelsamazing,asifhealreadyknowsjust
howIlikeit,asifwe’vedonethisamilliontimesbefore.Itfeelsthatright.

Hethenremoveshisfingerandputshismouthonme,histongueexpertlylickingme.
I’mnotgoingtolastlong.
He reaches his hand up to play with one of my nipples while his mouth works its magic, now

concentratingonmyclitinsoft,slowcircles.

“Ardan,”Isayinasigh,archingmybackalittleasIgetcloser.
Heignoresme.
Irunmyfingersoverhisscalp,gentlytuggingonhishair.
“I’mgoingtocome,”Iwarn.
Hestartslickingfaster.
Ifallapart.
“Ohmygod,don’tstop!”Ipleadasithits,wavessweepingoverme.Mythighstremble,andIgriphis

hairharderthanImeanto,thepleasuretoomuchyetnotenoughatthesametime.Whenhe’swrungevery
lastspasmoutofme,heliftshishead,lickinghislipsandlookingsmug.

Mylipskickupononeside.“Yeah,youdidwell.”
“Justgettingstarted,darlin’,”hesays,sittinguponhiskneesandundoinghisbelt.
“Letmedothat,”Isay,risingandtakingitoff,thenunbuttoninghisjeansandloweringthezipper.He

doestherestofthework,standingupandpeelingoffeverything.Iperusehisbodyslowly,fromheadtotoe
andbackagain.

“Bikerwithnotats?”Itease,myeyesonhisperfectlymuscledbody.
Hegrinswolfishlyandturnsaround.
“Fuck,”Imutter,takinginthegiantdragononhisback.Andthatisn’ttheonlytattoohehas—no,his

entirebackiscoveredfromtoptobottom,stoppingjustabovehisveryattractiveass.

“You’re so sexy,” I blurt out, watching as he turns back around and stalks toward me, his eyes darker

thanever.Unabletohelpmyself,Iglancedownathishugecock,hardandjuttingout,morethanreadyfor
me.

“Well,hellothere,”Imutter,glancingupathimtoseeamusementflashinginhiseyes.
Iliebackashemovesontopofme,notputtinghisweightonme,buthisproximityisintoxicatingeven

so.

“Areyouonthepill?”heasks,buryinghisfaceinmyneckandkissingme.
“Y-yes,”Isay,moaningashesucksonmyneck.
“NormallyIneversleepwithwomenwithoutcondoms,”hesays,liftinghisheadtolookmeintheeye.

“Ifyouwantmetowearone,Iwill,butI’mclean,and,tobehonest,I’dlovetobeinsideyoubareback.”

“Okay,”Isay,trustinghim.“Iwantyouinsideme,now.”
“Demanding little thing, aren’t you?” He grins, before slamming his lips down on mine in a deep,

hungrykissthathasmyheadreeling.

Ireachdownbetweenusandstrokehiscock,bringinghimagainstme,wantinghimtopushinside.He

bringshishipsforward,gentlyenteringmeinonesmooththrust.Feelingdeliciouslyfullwithhiminside
me, I lift my hips, pushing back against him. His strokes become harder and he grabs my wrists, raising
themabovemyheadandpressingthemintothemattress,pinningmetheresoIcan’tmovethem.

Hismouthstillonme,histonguemasterfullytanglingwithmine,hefucksmebetterthanI’veeverbeen

fucked before, with a need and intensity I could get addicted to. His mouth leaves mine, only to pay
attentiontomynipples,bitingdownonthemgently,sendingazingofpleasurestraighttomycore.

“Beautiful,”hemurmurs,kissingbackupmyneckandlettinggoofmywrists.

“Sogood,Ardan,”Igroan,threadingmyfingersthroughhishair.Helowershismouthagain,kissinghis

waydown.

“Lovebeinginsideofyou,”hegritsout,thencontinuestolick,suck,andbitemynipples.Mysecond

orgasm of the night creeps up on me quickly, hitting me hard as noises come out of my mouth I don’t
thinkI’veevermadebefore.Hecomessoonafterme,hismovementsturningfastandhard,buthiseyes
turningsofterthanI’veeverseenthem.

“Fuck,”herumbles,neverlookingawayashefinishesinsideme,thenrestshisforeheadonmine.He

placesakissonmyjawline,thenliesonthebednexttome,bringingmeintohisarms.

“Canwedothatagain?”Iask,makinghimchuckle.
“Fuckyeahwecan,”hesays,kissingmyshoulder.“Iwantyoutoridemenexttime.”
“IthinkIcanmanagethat,”Isay,shuttingmyeyesandsmiling.“Ithinkmaybeweshouldhaveasmall

napfirst.”

Webothfallasleep.

SEVEN

I

WAKE

upwrappedinhisarms,andsneakawaytousethebathroom,haveaquickshower,andbrushmy

teeth.He’sstillsleepingwhenI’mdone,soIdecidetomakesomebreakfast.I’mfryingsomebaconwhen
hewalksintothekitchenbuttnaked,asifhedoesiteveryday.

“’Morning,”hesays,voicehuskyfromsleep.
“’Morning,”Ireply,smiling.“Howdidyousleep?”
“Likeafuckin’baby,”hesays,glancingintothepan.“Youmakingmebreakfast?”
Inod.“Iam.Sostepawayfromthefryingpan,becauseyou’regoingtogetburned.”
HesmirksbutdoesasIask,sittingdownatthetable.“Wedidn’tgettoourthirdround.”
Ishakemyheadathim.Hewokemeupinthemiddleofthenight,hishandbetweenmylegsandhis

mouthonmyneck,andIrodehimuntilwebothcame.Ifeelalittlesorethismorning,butinadelicious
way. At the mention of more sex, however, I still find myself interested, my body already responding. I
turnoffthestoveandwalkovertohim.Hereachesoutandputshishandsonmyhips,liftingmeontothe
tableandslidingmerightinfrontofhim.Hethenpushesmylegsapart,peeksupatmeandgrins.Helifts
myskirtandslideshisfingerunderneathmypanties,touchingmycentergently.

“Areyousore?”heasks,notlookingupatme.
“I’mfine,”Ireply,lyingalittle,becauseIdidn’twanthimtostopwhathewasabouttodo.
“Liar,”hesays,movinghishandandplacingasoftkissovermypanties.
“Canyounotstudymetheresoclosely?”Igrumble,tryingtosqueezemylegsshut.
“I’ve seen all of you, Valentina.” He smirks, running his hand down my inner thigh in a soothing

motion.“Youdon’thaveworktoday?”

Ishakemyhead.“No,wealternateSaturdays.”
Itoldhimallaboutmyjoblastnight,justhowmuchI’menjoyingit,andthatIwasalsoprettydamn

goodatit.

“Whatdoyouhavegoingontoday?”Iaskhim,cuppinghisfacewithmyhands.“Bikerstuff?”
Heturnshisfaceandkissesmyhand.“I’vegotsomebikerstufftonight,butI’myoursuntilthen.”
Itiltmyheadtothesideandstudyhim.“Younevertalkabouttheclub.”
Hekissesmyknee,standsup,andheadstothecounter,grabbingaplateandservinghimself.“Iknow.I

onlytalkabouttheclubwiththeclub.”

Hedoesn’tsayitinaharshway,butstill,itstings.Itmakesmequestioneverything,likewhydidIsleep

withhimsosoon?HowcanIhavesuchaconnectionwithamanIhaven’tknownthatlong,amanwho
obviouslyhashisownsecrets?

WhatamIdoinghererightnow?
I’mlostinmyownthoughtswhenhisfaceappearsinfrontofmine.Hekissesmylipsandthensays

againstthem,“Iwantyoutogettoknowmebeforeyougettoknowtheclub,allright?Iwanttoearnyour
trust,andIwantyoutoearnmine.”

EverytimeI’munsureaboutwhatexactlyisgoingonhere,Ilookintohiseyes,andIseethesincerityin

them.Ilistentohiswordsandhearthetruthinthem.EitherI’mcompletelyblindedbyhim,orhe’sthe
realdeal,amanIcouldtrust,onewhowouldhavemybackandmakemefeelsafe.Mypastcan’thauntme
withArdanhere,becauseheisbiggerandscarierthaneverythingelse.Hehasn’tshownmethatside,butI
knowit;Ifeelit.Heisn’tonetobemessedwith.Buttomeheiskinderandmorethoughtfulthanany
othermanI’vebeenaroundorknow.Although,consideringmyex,Iguessthatisn’thardtobeat.

Iexpelasigh,thenkisshimback.“Let’seat.”
“Andthen?”
“Andthen,we’llspendthedayinbed,watchingmovies,spooning,andfucking,”Isaybluntly,watching

hisexpression.

“Whatdoyouwanttowatch?”heasks,lookingamusedforsomereason.
I shrug my shoulders and jump down from the table. “I don’t know. I’m sure there’s something on

Netflix.”

Ardanchucklesandraiseshiseyebrowatme.
“What’ssofunny?”
“ThisismyfirsteverNetflixandchill,”hesays,makingmegroanandcovermyfacewithmyhands.
“You’rewaytoooldtoevenknowthatsaying.”
Hechucklessomemoreandfinishesfixinghisplate.Whenhehandsittome,Ilookathim,surprised.

Heservedmefirst?

“Sitdown,”hesays,grabbinganotherplate.“I’llbringyousomethingtodrink.”
Isitdownandwaitforhimtojoinme,thinkinghowcrazyitisthatthingscanchangesodrasticallyin

suchashortperiodoftime.Thetablesarealwaysturning,andIjusthopeIgettostayinthishappyperiod
foraslongaspossible.

IthinkIdeserveit.

Twoweekslater

“Whatdoyouthink?”IaskSally,runningmyfingersthroughhernowshortblondhair.

“Iloveit!”shesqueals,turningherheadfromsidetoside.“Ithinktheshortcutsuitsme.”
“SodoI,”Isay,framingherfacewiththelongerendsatthefront.“Itlooksstunningonyou.”

Sallystandsupandlooksatme.“Thankyou,Tina.Ireallyloveit.”
“You’rewelcome,”Ireply,beaming.Iwatchasshewalkstoreception,whereLiniswaitingtotakeher

payment.

“I’m going on my break, Jess,” I call out, since I don’t have any clients booked for the next hour

anyway.

“Noproblem,”Jessreplies.“Canyougetmeacoffeewhileyou’reout?”
“Sure,”Itellher,grabbingmybagandleavingthesalon.Icrosstheroadandwalktothecafé,ordering

twocoffeesandamuffin.WhileIwait,IsendArdanaquickmessage,tellinghimIcan’twaittoseehim
afterwork.Herepliesbackinstantly,sayingthathecan’twaiteither.Ismilelikealovesickschoolgirlwho
hasn’tyetbeenburnedbytheworld,thensendanothermessage,thistimetoLacey,askinghowshe’sbeen
andsayingthatIhopeshe’sdoingallright.Then,coffeesandmuffininmyhands,Ireturntothesalonand
passJesshercoffee.

“Thanks, doll,” she says, eyeing it eagerly. “I don’t know how I’d make it through the day without

coffee.”

I’mabouttoreplywhenatall,bulky-lookingmanwalksintothesalon.Lookingextremelyoutofplace,

themancomesstraightforJessandsmacksakissonherlips.I’mprettysurehegrabsherasstoo.

“Trace,thisisTina,”Jessintroduces.“Tina,thisismyhusband,Trace.”
Hestudiesmeinawaythathasmeshiftingonmyfeet.“Nicetomeetyou,Tina.”
“Youtoo,”Isay,smilingathim.
Hedoesn’tsmileback,insteadlookingatJess.“Anywayyoucanleavehereearly?Wegotsomething

goingontonight.”

“Sure,”Jesssays,turningandglancingattheschedules.“Icanleaveinanhour.Ilovetherareoccasions

whenyoudropbyhere,babe.”Shestepsclosertohimandwrapsherarmsaroundhiswaist.

Trace whispers something in her ear while I slowly back away to eat my muffin in peace in our staff

room.I’mhalfwaythroughitwhenLaceysendsmeareply,andherwordsmakeallthehappinessaround
medisappear.

I’mgood,honey.Howareyou?NoonehasseenDarrenaroundhereforaweek.Ihopehe’snotsearchingfor

you,butbecareful.

Justbecausenoonehasseenhimdoesn’tnecessarilymeanhe’soutlookingtomakemylifemiserable.

However,Laceyisrighttowarnme.Ineedtokeepmyeyesopenandmyguardup.IfDarrenreallywants
tofindme,hecan.Hehastheresources,andheisn’taboveusingthem.

Isendheraquickreply,thenthrowtherestofmymuffininthegarbage,suddenlynothungry.Ido

finish my coffee, though, thinking about what exactly I would do if Darren found me. I don’t want to
leave.Iloveithere,andIcan’thidefromhimforever.Somethinghastogive.Whenishegoingtoleave
mealone?Iclosemyeyesandcovermyfacewithmyhands.It’ssounfairthataftereverythingI’vegone
through, the past is still following me and he’s still trying to control my life. He doesn’t care about me,
neverdid—hejustseesmeasapossessiontofuckwith.Idon’tknowhowIeverlovedsomeonelikethat;I
don’tknowwhatIeversawinhim.HowcouldIbesowrongaboutaperson?IjusthopethatI’velearned

mylessonandthatI’mnotwrongaboutArdan.Isn’tthesayingsecondtime’sthecharm?No,wait,that’s
third.Dammit.

Istandupandgetreadytoreturntowork,tellingmyselfoverandoveragainthatthingswon’talways

belikethis.Oneday,Iwon’thavetoworryaboutDarren,andArdanisnothinglikehim.Yeah,IthinkI
choseagoodmanthistime,andDarrenisn’tgoingtogetinthewayofthat.Ibrokethecurse.Sure,Ardan
isn’ttheboy-next-doortype—he’srougharoundtheedgesanddelvesintoshadesofgraymorethananyone
Iknow,buthehasagoodheart,andmorethananything,hemakesmehappy.Hemakesmefeelgood
aboutmyself;hemakesmefeelprotectedandsafe.Ideservetobehappy.

AndifIhavetofightforit,Iwill.

EIGHT

I

FINALLY

foundanapartment—withArdan’shelp.Hewouldn’thaveitanyotherway.Thenewplaceisa

two-bedroom,one-bathmodernapartmentclosetowork,andinasafeneighborhood,accordingtohim.I
havetoadmitthatI’mprettyinlovewithit.ThingswithArdanhavebeenamazing,andI’vefoundmyself
spendingalotoftimewithhimoverthelastfewweeks,gettingtoknowhimandlearningtotrusthim.I
haven’theardanythingfromDarren,soI’mhopinghe’sfinallydecidedtomoveonandleavemealone,
eventhoughdeepdownIdon’tbelieveitforasecond.

WhenImovedintomynewapartment,Ardanhelpedme.Byhelp,Imeanhegotoneofhisfriends,a

part-scary,part-sexybeardedmanbythenameofArrow,tocarryeverythinginwithhimwhileIstoodby
idlyandwatched.Iboughtsomesecondhandfurniturefortheplacebutsplurgedonabrand-newbedand
mattress.Ineverwanttogetoutofbedinthemornings,butIdohavethebestsleepever.

We’re sitting on the couch a few nights after I moved in, him in the corner and me in the middle,

havingadrink.Ihaveaglassofredwine,whileArdanhasawhiskey.

“Whyareyousofaraway?”Iask,flashinghimmymostenticingbedroomeyes.“Comeoverhere.”
“Youcomehere,”hesays,watchingmelikeahawk.Irollmyeyesbutgiveinandmovenexttohim.
“Ican’tstaylongtonight,”hesays,runninghisfreehandthroughmyhair.
“Why?”Iask,notangry,justcurious.“Ithoughtyouweregoingtospendthenight.”
“Yeah,Iwas,”hesays,liftingmyfaceupandlookingmeintheeye.“Iforgotwehavesomethinggoing

onattheclubhousetonight,andIcan’tmissit.I’mshowinguplate,butIhavetobethere.”

“Okay,”Isay,laughingathissurprisedexpression,likeheexpectedmetogetmadoverit.
“That’sit?Justokay?”heasks,voicelacedwithsuspicion,hiseyesnarrowed.
“Yeah, I mean I know the club is important to you, and it’s who you are, even though I don’t really

knowmuchaboutit.”Idon’tthinkyoucanchangeaman.IeithertakeArdanasheisornotatall,and
fromwhatI’veseensofar,he’sbeennothingshortofamazing.

Heflashesmeacrookedsmile.“Wherethefuckdidyoucomefrom,darlin’?Andwhydidyoumakeme

waitsolongtofindyou?”

I laugh at that and put my glass down on the table before wrapping my arms around his waist and

restingmycheekagainsthischest.

“Iwastakenbysomeonewhodidn’tdeserveme,”Isay,placingakissonhischest.“Ishouldhaveleft

sooner,insteadofwastingtime,butwhoknows?Maybethenwewouldn’thaveevenmet.”

“Fucker,” he grumbles, running his hand down my back. “He must be fuckin’ stupid not to do

everythingpossibletokeepawomanlikeyou.”Hepauses.“NotthatI’mcomplaining,becauseotherwise
youwouldn’tbehererightnow.”

Thesadthingis,Darrendidtrytokeepme,butwiththreatsandguilttripsinsteadoftreatingmeright.

He’dmesswithmyhead,makemebelievethatitwasmewhowaslacking,thatitwasmyfaultthingswere
thewaytheywere.Whensomeonekeepstellingyouoverandoveragainthatyou’renotgoodenough,in
thebackofyourmind,nomatterhowstrongyouare,youstarttowonderifthatpersonisright.Whenyou
seeotherpeoplebeingtreatedsowell,beingrespectedandcaredfor,youwonderwhyyoudon’thavethat.
What is it about you that drew in someone like that? The whole thing almost destroyed me and I’m so
happy to be away from it. All the negativity has drained away, leaving behind feelings of hope and
positivity,andthechanceofstartingover.

“Iwanttoheareverythingaboutyourpast,”hesayssoftly.“Whenyou’reready,ofcourse.Youknow

there’snothingyoucan’ttellme,right?”

“Iknow.I’mjusthappyImovedhere,”Itellhimhonestly.“It’sbeensogoodforme.Ican’tremember

thelasttimeIwasthishappy.”

ArdanleansforwardtoputhisglassdownnexttomineandthenliftsmesoI’msittingacrosshislap.
“Youknow,whenIsawyou,Ijustwantedyou,”hesays,hiseyesturningheavy.“That’sneverhappened

to me before.” His expression turns sheepish. “I mean, yeah, I’ve seen women and wanted to fuck them
before, but I’ve never seen a woman and just wanted . . . her. Fuck, it’s hard to explain. It was just a
differentfeeling.IwanttosayitwasthatIwantedtopossessyou,butthatsoundsfucked-up.”Heexhales
andlowershisgazetomylips.“Somethinginmejustwantedsomethinginyou.”

“Igetit,”Isay,lickingmylips.“Youdon’thavetoexplain.Igetit.”
“Good,”hesays,kissingmehungrily.ItastethewhiskeyonhislipsasIpullaway,oureyesstilllocked.
I reach my fingers out absently to touch the scar on his neck as I say, “Shall we take this to the

bedroom?”

Hisliptwitchesandhisdarkeyesflashwithamusement.“Prettysurethat’smyline.”
“Well,hurryupandmakeyourmove,then,becauseIwantyouinsideme,”Isay,notholdingback.I

findmyselffeelingcomfortablesayingalmostanythingtothisman—Idon’tfeelshyorthathewilljudge
me.Iknowforafactmyboldwordsturnhimon,whichheprovesyetagainasIfeelhimgrowhardunder
me.“Icanfeelyourinterest.”

“Iknowyoucan,”hesays,grabbingmyjawwithhishandandbringingmyfacetohisforanotherkiss,

thisonemoredemanding.“Fuck,you’resobeautiful.Themenattheclubhousearegoingtogonutsfor
you,exceptI’mgoingtofuckin’murderthemiftheyevenlookinyourdirection.”

Irollmyeyesandslideoffhislap,thenfiddlewiththebuttononhisjeansuntilhemovesmyhandsout

of the way and undoes it for me and pulls them down, exposing himself to me. I slide my panties off
impatientlyandliftmydressupandovermyhead.

“TakeyourT-shirtofftoo,”Idemand.

Helooksamused,hiseyesdancing,butdoesasIsay,flashinghisrippedbodyashisT-shirtlandsonthe

floornexttomydress.Istraddlehim,mymouthslammingdownonhisashepracticallyripsoffmybra.
Reaching between us, he slides himself inside me, both of us moaning at the feeling. I start to ride him,
bouncingupanddown,controllingthespeedandrhythm.Whenhemoveshismouthawayfrommylips
tosuckandlickmynipples,Ifuckhimharder,givingitallIhave.

“Fuck,Valentina,”hegrowls,liftinghisheadandlookingmeintheeye.“Harder.”
Harder?
Igoharder.
WhenIfeelmyselfonthevergeofcoming,somehowArdanmustknowittoo,becausehesays,“Yes,

comeallovermydick.”

Idon’tknowwhatmytellis,butIlikethathe’ssointunewithmybody.
Ahardslaponmyasssendsmeovertheedge,andthroughmyhazeofpleasureIhearhimsay,“Going

tocome.”

“Yes,”escapesfrommylips.
Yestoeverything.
Afterhefinishes,Isitonhislap,himstillinsideme,andburymyfaceinhisneck,exhaustiontakingme

over.

“I’mgoingtosleeplikethis,”Iannounce.
“Metoo,”hereplies.
Ikisshisneck,softandgentle,tellinghimwithoutwordshowmuchIappreciatehim.Hewrapshisarms

aroundmeandholdsmewhileIclosemyeyesandjustenjoythemoment.WhenI’mabouttofallasleep,I
decideIshouldprobablymoveoffhim,soIdoso,butIdon’tgofar,lyingdownonthecouchandlaying
my head on his thigh, my arm wrapping around him. His hand instantly finds my hair. After a few
moments,heliftsmeinhisarmsandcarriesmetomybed.

“Sonowyouwanttogotobed,”Igrumble,yawning.
Hechucklesdeeply,liftingtheblankettocoverme.
“Youcan’tstayalittlelonger?”Iaskwhenhedoesn’tgetinnexttome.
“IfIdo,thenI’llneverleave.”
Along,lingeringkiss,andthenheheadstotheclubhouse,whileIfallasleep.

NINE

W

HEN

Ardancancelsonourplansagain,Igetabadfeelinginmystomach.Hesaidhewasneededbythe

WindDragonsandthatthesecondhecould,hewouldbebacktoseeme.Tryingnottothinkaboutittoo
much,Ikeepmyselfbusyonmydayoffbytidyinguptheapartment.

WhenJesstextstoseeifIwanttogotodinnerandamoviewithher,Itakeherupontheoffer.It’sthe

firsttimeI’llbeseeingheroutsideofwork,butI’mhappysheinvitedme.WhenIthinkaboutit,because
I’vebeenspendingmostofmytimewithArdan,Ihaven’treallymadeanyotherfriendshere,apartfrom
thegirlsatwork,whichisstupidofme.Ishouldbeoutmeetingnewpeopleandseeingwhatthiscityhasto
offer.Idresscasuallyinapairofjeans,ablackV-necktop,andflats,andthendrivetothetheaterJessasked
metomeetherat.Ifindherstandinginthelobby,lookingdownatherphone.She’swearingallblack,a
Harleytanktop,andjeans.

SheglancesupasIapproachandsmiles.
“Hey,”Isay,smilingbackather.
“Hey,yourself.IgotourticketsbutIdidn’tknowwhatsnacksyouwanted,soIthoughtI’dwaitfor

you.”

“Whatwouldyoulike?I’llgetit,”Isay,pullingoutmypurse.“I’mjustgoingtogetsomepopcornanda

drink.”

“Soundsgood,”sheagreesaswewalktowardthecounter.
Ipauseandgrin.“Maybesomechocolatetoo.”
Idon’twanttoruindinnerafterward,butI’mkindofhungry.
Shelaughsandsays,“Mykindofgirl.”
Ibuythesnacksandwegointothemovie.Afterit’sover,wehavedinnertogetherbeforeIheadhome.I

really enjoy the night and tell myself I need to do this again. I need to have balance in my life; not
everythingcanbeaboutArdan,becausethenwhenhe’sbusyIgetboredanddon’tknowwhattodowith
myself,andIdon’twanttobethatgirl.IsendhimaquickmessagebeforeIgotosleep,tellinghimIhope
hehadagoodnightandthatI’mgoingtobed.

IfallasleepbeforeIgetareply.

“HotlineBling”byDrakeplaysoverandoverasmyphonerings.Halfasleep,Ireacharoundforitinthe
dark, finally finding it under the pillow next to me. I press the green button and say in a sleepy voice,
“Hello.”

“Valentina,openthedoor,”Ardansays,makingmesitupinbed.
“You’rehere?”Iask,confused.
“Yeah,openthedoor,darlin’.”
Ihangupandrushtothefrontdoor,unlockingandopeningit.WhenIseehimstandingthere,hisface

lookingpalerthanusual,abadfeelingsettlesinmygut.

“Whathappened?”Iask,closingandlockingthedoorbehindhim.
“Whatmakesyouthinksomethinghappened?”hereplies,steppinginsideandwrappinghisstrongarms

aroundme.“Fuck,Ijustneedtobeinbedwithyourightnow.”

Ihughimtighter,andwhenheflinches,Ipullbackandstudyhim.“Whatthefuck?”
HewincesandpullsuphisT-shirt.Icheckoverhisabs,whichlookdeliciousbutfine,thenfartherup

untilIreachhischest.Iyankmyhandbackatthefeelofnewstitches.“Ohmygod!”

“I’mfine,Valentina,”hesays,puttinguphishandsasiftocalmmedown.“Ijustgotalittlestabbed.”
Ifreeze.“Youjustgotalittlestabbed?”Iyell,makingairquoteswithmyfingers.“Whatthehell,Ardan?

Whyareyounotinthehospital?”

Hesighsandrunshishandthroughhishair.“Oneofmybrothers,hiswomanwasinsomeshit.Hewas

goneonarunupnorthandIwaskeepinganeyeonherjustincaseanythinghappened.Well,shitfuckin’
happened,andIgotstabbedinthechesttryingtofixtheproblem.”

I place my arm on his shoulder and look at where the wound is, now covered up. “Can I get you

anythingordoanythingtohelp?”

Heshakeshishead.“RightnowIjustneedyouandsleep.”
Iswallowandnodmyheadquickly.“Comeon.”
We walk hand in hand to bed, and I slide in first, lifting the blanket up for him. When he gets

comfortableandpullsmeclosertohim,IresistalittlebecauseIdon’twanttohurthim.

“It’s on the other side, darlin’. You can hug me; it’s fine,” he says softly, his accent sounding more

prominentthanusual.

“Areyousureyou’reokay?Whatdidthedoctorsay?”Iaskhiminthedarkness.“Youdidseeadoctor,

right?”Myvoiceturnshigh-pitchedbytheendofthesentence.

Herunshishandovermystomachandsays,“Theclubdoccameandsawme,juststitchedmeupalittle,

butit’snottoodeep,soit’sallright.Justsaidtokeepaneyeonit.”

“Doesstufflikethishappenalot?”Iask,closingmyeyesandtryingnottoworryabouthimsomuch.
“Not all the time,” he says softly, clearing his throat. “But sometimes, yes. If my brothers need me, I

havetheirback,andtheyhavemineifIneedthem.Sometimeswewin;sometimeswelose.”Icanhearthe
smileinhisvoicewhenheadds,“Butweusuallywin.”

“You’reinsane,”Iwhisper,puffingoutabreath.“ThankGodyou’reokay,though.Idon’tknowwhatI

wouldhavedoneifsomethinghappened.”Ipause,andthenadd,“Somethingmorethanwhatyouseemto
thinkisacasualstabbing.”

Hechuckles,thengroans.“Nowisnotthetimetomakemelaugh.”
Igroanbackandthenkisshisshoulder.“Youneedtostopgettingstabbed,babe.”
“I’lltrymyhardest,”hesays,soundingtired.
“Goodnight,”Isay,yawning.
“’Night,darlin’.”
I’mhalfasleepwhenIhearhimsay,“I’mnotgoingtoletanythinghappentome,notnowthatIhave

you.”

Imusthavebeendreaming.

“AreyouangryatmebecauseIgotstabbed?Itwashardlymychoice,andnotlikeIvolunteeredforit,”he
growls,shakinghisheadindisbelief.“Stopbeingangry.”

Ipursemylips.“I’mnotangry;I’mjustworriedaboutyou,andyes,maybeit’scomingoutasanger.

Sorry,butI’veneverreallydealtwithasituationlikethisbefore,youknow.”

Hisvoicegentleswhenhesays,“Iknow,Valentina,Iknow.AndI’msorryyouhavetodealwithitat

all.Butithappened,andI’mfine,youhavenothingtoworryabout.NowcomeandsitnexttomebeforeI
havetocarryyouoverhere,andthenIwillbeinpain.”

“Blackmail,”Igrumble,sittingdownnexttohim.“Areyouhungry?”
“I’mhungryforyou,”hesaysinahuskytone,runninghishandupmybarethigh.
“We’renothavingsex,”Irepeatforthefourthtime.
Ardanscowlsandmutters,“I’llkillthatbastardagain,thecockblock.”
Irollmyeyesathisjoke.“Veryfunny.Nowdoyouwanttoeat?Imadethatpasta,andI’mgoingto

havesome.”

“Okay,”hesays,soundinglikeasurlylittleboy,whichmakesmesnicker.Iservebothofus,thenreturn

tothecouchwiththeplates.

“Thanks,”hesays,takinghisanddigginginbeforeIcanpickupmyfork.
“See,youwerehungry,”Isaybeforetakingabite.
“Sexbeatsfood,”hesays,grinning.“Atleastsexwithyoudoes.”
“Stopbeingcute,”Isay,chewingandswallowing.“DoyouthinkIdon’twantto?BecauseIdo,Ijust

don’tthinkweshouldbefuckingafewdaysafteryougotstabbedinthechest.”

He opens his mouth to speak, but I hold my hand up. “Come on, that’s fair. At least wait until

tomorroworthedayafter,please.”

“Tomorrow,”hesays,histonedemandingnoargument.“Andthispastaisamazing,thankyou.”
“You’rewelcome,”Isay,happytobeappreciated.It’ssomethingIneverreallyexperiencedinmylast

relationship.IrememberonceImadeasimpledinnerforDarren,sometoastedsandwiches,andhethrewit

onthegroundinafitofrageandsaiditwasshit.ItactuallymakesmefeelweaktothinkabouteverythingI
putupwith.ButthenIremindmyselfIgotout,andthere’snopointlookingback.

“Doyouwanttogooutfordinnertonight?There’saplaceIwanttotakeyouthatdoesthebestribsin

thecity.”

Inod.“Ifyou’refeelinguptoit.”
Heflashesmealookthatsayshe’sclearlydonewithmyfussing.“Oh,don’tyouworry,I’mfeelingupto

itallright.”

Itrytohidemyamusementandfail,mylipstwitchingandhimcatchingit.
“Valentina?”
“Yeah?”Ireply,lookingdownatmyplate.
“Iloveyou.”
Iliftmyheadup,myeyeswide.
“Wh-what?”
“Iloveyou,”herepeats,sosimply,aseasyastakinganotherbreath.“Ijustwantedyoutoknow.”
HecontinuestoeatwhileIsitinstunnedsilence.
Helovesme?
Sosoon?
Isittoosoon?
Yes,it’sdefinitelytoosoon.WhatamIsupposedtosay?
DoIlovehim?
I think it’s more of a leaning toward loving him. Is that an answer? I don’t think he’d appreciate me

sayingthat,butI’mprettysurehe’swaitingforananswerrightnowwhileI’mthinkingthis.

“Stopoverthinking,”hesays,nowwatchingme.“Anddon’tsayanything;Idon’texpectyouto.”
“Okay,”Ireply,drawingthewordout,feelingrelievedthatIdon’thavetoexplainwhatI’mfeeling.I

stilldon’tunderstandit.

Hecontinuesonasifhehadn’tjusttoldmesomethingthatchangedmyworld.

TEN

A

COUPLE

ofweekslater,whenmyphonevibrateswithatext,Ismile,thinkingit’sArdan,butit’snot.

Foundyou.

It’shim.It’sDarren.
Fuck.
TothinkIwashopinghe’dletitgo,thathe’dletmemoveon,wasstupid.Ishouldhaveknownbetter.

Nothinginlifecomeseasyforme;Ialwayshavetofightforit,topushthrough,tosurvive,andthisisno
exception.IneedtotellArdanthewholestorywithDarren,becauseifsomethinggoesdown,heneedsto
knowthebackground.Atthesametime,Idon’twanttopullhimintomymess,andIdon’twanthimto
thinkI’maskinghimtousehiscontacts,eventhoughIknowhe’dhavesome.Thismightdraghimandthe
WindDragonsdown,andthat’sthelastthingIwant.WhatifsomethinghappensandArdanorhismen
endupinprison—orworse?HowcouldIlivewiththat?

I’m still lost in my own world when Ardan comes over later that night, and right away he senses

somethingiswrong.

“Whathappened?”heasks,scanningmyapartmentasiftocheckforsignsofdisaster.
“Igotamessagetoday,”Itellhim,shiftingonmyfeet.“Idon’tknowwhattodo.Ialwaystrytosolve

myproblemsbymyself,but—”

“Butnowyouhavemetosolveyourproblems,”hesays,cuttingmeoffandliftingmychininhishand.

“It’snotanimposition.I’dbefuckin’pissedifyouhadsomeshitgoingdownthatIdidn’tknowanything
about.”

“Iknow,Ijustdidn’twantyoutohavetodealwithit,”Iadmit,bitingtheinsideofmylip.
“AmIfuckingyou?”heasks,eyesnarrowedandjawtight.
“What?”
“AmIfuckingyou?AmIhereatyourplaceeveryothernight?”hesays,lookingangrierthanI’veever

seenhim.

“Yes,”Iadmithesitantly,makinghisgriponmychintighten.
“Areyoumine?”heasks,leaninghisfaceclosertomine,asifdaringmetodisagree.
“Yes,Iam,”Isaywithmoreconvictionthistime.“I’myours.”

“Yes,youare,”hesays,hiseyessoftening.“You’remine,andsoareyourproblems.Whateveritis,Ican

handleit.Nowtellme.”

Ishowhimthetext.
Whenhelooksatme,waitingforanexplanation,Isay,“Myex.He’sthereasonImovedaway,because

hewon’tleavemealone.HetriestofollowmewhereverIgo,makesthreats,anddoesanythinghecanto
makemylifeharder.”

HowmuchdoIdivulgehere?IfItellhimeverything,couldmybaggagescareevenArdanaway?
“Andnowhe’sfoundyouhere?”Ardanasks,amenacinglookflashingonhisface.
“Yeah,Iguessso,”Isayinasmallvoice.
“Darlin’,youhavenothingtoworryabout,”hesoothes,pullingmeagainsthisbodyandkissingthetop

ofmyhead.“Givemehisname,andI’lltakecareoftherest.”

“Youshouldn’thavetodothisforme,”Isayagainsthischest.“Ican’taskyouto.”
“You’re not asking—I’m offering,” he says simply. “I’m not going to let this fucker mess with you.

You’re not alone anymore, Valentina, and he can’t do this. You have me standing in front of you now,
protectingyoufromanythingthattriestohurtyou.Thinkofmeasyourownhumanbulletproofvest.”

Islaphisarm.“That’snotevenfunny.”
Ihearthesmileinhisvoicewhenhesays,“C’mon,it’skindoffunny.”
“Whatwillyoudo?”
“Don’tworryaboutthat,”hesaysquickly.“WorryabouthowpissedIamthatyoudidn’ttellmeanyof

thissooner.WhatifhegottoyouwhenIcouldhaveprotectedyou?Notaverysmartmoveyoumade.”

“Ijustdidn’twantmyproblemstobecomeyours,”Isaysoftly,sighingheavily.“Iknewyou’ddothis,

andnowI’mgoingtofeelguiltyifanythinghappens.”

“I’llhandleit.”
“Oh,andArdan...”Isay,grimacingatwhatI’mabouttosay.
“Yes,darlin’?”
“Myex...”
“Yeah?”hesays,soundingimpatient.“Tellme.”
“He’sacop.”

Darrenhasbeenapoliceofficersincehewastwenty-one,justlikehisnow-retiredfather.It’sthereasonhe
getsawaywithsomuch,andIcouldn’texactlyreportthingstohiscopbuddies,whowouldhavehisback,
notmine.Hispositionprovideshimwithconnectionsalloverthecountry,andaccesstoinformation.He
waitedthislongtomakehismove,whichmakesmefeellikehe’splayingwithme.Ijustwanttobeleft
alone,butthatdoesn’tlooklikeit’sinthecardsforme.

AfterItoldArdanaboutDarren,heleftandtoldmehewouldbebacksoon,remindingmetolockup

the apartment. When he returns about an hour later, he comes with a packed bag, leaving it by the
entrance.

“Untilthisissorted,I’mmovingin,”heannounces,crossinghisarmsoverhischest,legsshoulder-width

apart,asifwaitingformetoobject.

“Okay,”isallIsay,raisingmyeyebrowandsmiling.
“Okay?”
“Yeah,okay.”
Hechucklesandclosesthespacebetweenus,mutteringsomethingaboutbeingtheluckiestbrotherin

theclub.Igrabontothebottomofhisleathercutandpullhimevencloser.

“Soyou’regoingtomoveinandprotectme,hmmm?”
He licks his bottom lip. “I’m going to do a lot more than that, darlin’. I’m going to talk to the club

tomorrowandcomeupwithaplan.Eitherway,you’resafe.Youdon’tneedtoworryaboutyourex—dirty
copornot,wehaveourwaysofhandlingthings.”

I purse my lips. “I know I’m not meant to ask questions about the club, but how are you going to

handlethis?Idon’twantyouoranyoftheWindDragonstoendupinjailbecauseIhaveterribletastein
men.”

“Hey,”hemockgrowls.“Notallthemenyouchoosearebad.”
“Ididn’tchooseyou—youchoseme,”Ipointout,tryingtodigmyselfoutoftheholeIputmyselfin.
He smirks at that and starts to drag me to the room. “Fuck yeah I did. Don’t think you’re going to

distractmefromyourlittlecomment,though.”Hepauses.“AlthoughIwouldn’texactlysayI’mgood.”

“You’re good to me,” I say, placing my palm on his chest. “I go by how people treat me, and you’ve

treatedmelikeaprincess.”Ipause.“Exceptinthebedroom,butthen,whowantsthat?”

“Compared to my competition, I’m fuckin’ Prince Charming,” he jokes, then lowers his gaze to my

mouth.“Speakingofthebedroom.Weshouldheadthere.Now.”

“Youthinkso?”Iaskcoyly,battingmyeyelashesathim.“Ithinkifyouwantmeinthebedroom,”Isay,

takingtwostepsback,“you’regoingtohavetocatchmefirst.”

I bolt into the kitchen, and all I can hear is his amused chuckle filling my apartment. I hide in the

pantry,butthenrealizehowmuchofastupidmovethatis:it’snotlikewe’replayinghide-and-seekhere.I
hear him enter the kitchen and I try to make my breathing as soft as possible, hoping he’ll think I ran
throughthekitchenanddownthehallwayintothebedroom.However,whenIhearhimhumthetunetoa
JustinBiebersongunderhisbreath,Ican’thelpit—Iloseitlaughing.Ipushopenthedoorandstareat
him,holdingmystomachasIcontinuetolaugh.

“What’ssofunny?”heasks,lookingconfused.
“Whatsongwereyoujusthumming?”Iask,onthevergeofmorelaughter.
“Idon’tknow,somethingIheardontheradiotoday.Why?”heasks,standingthere,lookingbadassin

hisall-blackgetup,cut,bikerboots,scarredneck,and...singingJustinBieber.

Justthethoughtsendsmeintoanotherfitoflaughter.
BikerbadasslikesJustinBieber.
Iruntomybedroom,andhestalksbehindme.
Ican’twaittotellthatstorytohisbrothers,wheneverIfinallydogettomeetthem.Hepicksmeupand

throwsmeontothebed,thenlandsontopofme.“What’ssofuckin’hilarious,Valentina?Letmeinonthe
joke.”

“Nothing,”Isay,tryingtokeepastraightface.“It’sagoodsong,isall.Verygoodtasteyouhave.I’m

justsurprisedyouknowit.”

“You’reweird,”hemuttersbeforeslamminghislipsdownonmineandkissingmesenseless.
IforgetaboutBieber.
Hell,Iforgetabouteverything.
Excepthim.

ELEVEN

I

’VE

justfinishedwithaclientthenextdaywhenArdancomesflyingintothesalon.HelooksstraightatJess

andsays,“Valentinaneedstoleaveearly.”

Jesssimplynods,lookingalittleworried.“Noproblem,Irish.”
Hegrabsmebymyupperarmandleadsmeoutsidetohisbike.“Geton,darlin’.I’mtakingyoutothe

clubhouse.”

“What?”Iask,shakingmyheadinconfusion.“Whatthehellisgoingon?”
“Nothingyet,”hesaysvaguely,infuriatingme.“Geton,I’llexplainwhenwegetthere.”
Itakethehelmetheoffersme,puttingitonandclimbingontothebikebehindhim.He’stakingmeto

theclubhouse?Ifinallygettomeeteveryone?Butwhy?HashefoundDarren?Somanyquestions,andthe
factthatIdon’tknowwhat’sgoingonmakesmefeelanxious.Ittakesabouttwentyminutestogetthere.
AfterIgetoffthebikeandtakethehelmetoff,Itakeinthehugecompoundinfrontofme.

Thisiswherehelives?
Withahandonmylowerbackheushersmeforward.Istopatthedoor,sohetakesmyhandandpulls

meinsidebehindhim.WewalkthroughuntilwecometoalivingareawithahugeTVandcomfortable-
lookingcouches.WhenArdanfindsitempty,hekeepswalkinguntilwecometoakitchen.Threemenare
sittingthere,oneofwhomIrecognizeasArrow.Anotherguyhasshoulder-lengthblondhairtiedupina
bunandlookslikeAdonis,whilethethirdhasshortblondhairandbeautifulgreeneyes.HimIrecognize.

TheyalllookupasIenter.
“Valentina,thesearemybrothers,Rake,Tracker,andyou’vealreadymetArrow,”Ardansays,nodding

ateachmanashesaystheirnames.

“Umm,hi,”Isay,wavingawkwardly.
Trackersmilesandevenwinksatme,whileArrowremainshisusualbroodingself.Rakeliftshischinat

meandoffersmeasmallgrin.

“Nicetomeetyou,”Trackersays,gesturingtothechairoppositehim.“Haveaseat,sweetheart.”
IglanceatArdan,whonodsatme,beforeItaketheofferedseat.Ardansitsnexttome,instantlymaking

mefeelatease.

“Wedidsomeresearch,”hesays,slidingafolderacrossthetabletome.
IopenitandglanceoverDarren’sinformation.

“Yourexisasdirtyastheycome,”Rakesays,absentlyplayingwithhislipring.“Drugdealing,making

dealswithcriminals—younameit,he’sdoneit.”

“He’sappliedforatransfertocomeoverhere,”Ardansays,makingmystomachdrop.Iclenchmyfists

sohardtheknucklesturnbone-white.Hewantstomovehere?Ishefuckinginsane?Whatelseisherefor
him?Hehashisparents;hisbabybrother,Cody;andallhisfriendsthere—doeshehatemesomuchhe’d
leavethemallbehindjusttofuckwithme?

“Thatwasourreaction,”hemuttersnexttome.“We’vehadameetingaboutit.We’regoingtowaitfor

hisnextmove,butwe’vegotsomeideasonhowtohandleit.Untilthen,oneofthemenwillalwaysbe
withyou—usuallyme,butincaseIhavetobesomewhere,oneofmybrotherswillbethere.”

“Okay,”Ireply,notknowingwhatelsetosay.Idon’tmindhavingsomeonewatchme;infact,itmakes

mefeelmuchsafer.AndifArdan’stheonetheremostofthetime,evenbetter.

“Ineedyoutomakethiseasyonmebytellingmewheneveryougosomewhereorifyouseeanything

suspicious,” he continues. “Don’t be like some of our other women who’ve tried to handle shit on their
own,orleftbythemselvesbecausetheythoughttheywerefuckin’badass.”

“Fine,” I say, leaning back in the chair and looking all of them in the eye. “I won’t attempt any

badassery.”

“Ithinkyou’vedonetherightthing,keepingherawayfromthewomen,”Trackersays,chuckling,his

blueeyesfillingwithamusement.“EspeciallyFaye.Don’tlethernearFaye.”

“OrAnna,”Rakeadds,earninghimselfascowlfromArrow.Hejustshrugs.“Hey,she’smysister,but

she’salsoamenace.”

“Asifyoucantalk,”TrackersaystoRake.“Annawasn’ttheonlyoneplayingbeerpongwiththeWild

MenMC.”

Confused,IlooktoArdan,whojustshrugsandsays,“Canyouguysargueaboutwhosewomanhasthe

biggestballslater?I’mgoingtogiveValentinaatour.”

“One that ends in your bedroom?” Tracker says, smirking, then looks back to me. “Good luck,

Valentina.You’regoingtoneedit.”

“IthinkI’lllikeithere,”Isay,makinghimlaugh.ArdanstandsandIfollow,leavingthekitchen.This

timewhenwewalkthroughthelivingarea,abeautifulwomanissittingtherereadingabook.

“Faye,” Ardan says, making the woman lift up her head. Her hazel eyes are gorgeous, but I instantly

noticethattheyhaveasharpnesstothemthattellsmesheisn’tsomeonetomesswith.Bythewayshecarries
herself, and the gentle tone in which Ardan said her name, I can also tell she’s someone important.
“Where’sSin?”

“He’satClover’sschool.Heshouldbeheresoon,though,”shesays,puttingdownherbookandstaring

atme.“Ohmygod.Isthisthewomanyou’vebeenneglectingusfor?”

Ardansighsandlooksdownatme.“Valentina,thisisFaye.Ourclubpresident’swife,andall-around

troublemaker.”

“Nicetomeetyou,Faye,”Isay,smilingatthebeauty.
Shestandsupandwalksovertome,pullingmeintoahug.“Irish,she’sstunning.Lookatallthishair,”

shesays,touchingit.“YoulookliketheheroinefromBrave!Jesswasright!”

“Should’veknownJesscouldn’tkeephermouthshut,”Ardanmutters,thenslowlypullsmeawayfrom

Faye.“Allright,allright.Where’severyoneelse?”

“Nooneelseishererightnow,butwehaveadinnerheretomorrownight,remember?Sowhydon’t

youbringTina?Everyone’sbeendyingtomeetyourmysterywoman,Irish.”

Shelookstome.“Areyoufreetomorrownight?”
Inod.
“Perfect.”Shebeams,thengrinsatArdan.“Totallypunchingaboveyourweightwithher.”
Ardanthrowshisheadbackandlaughsatthat.“Don’tIknowit.”
Asheshowsmearoundtherestoftheclubhouse,IrealizethatImissedsomething.JessknowsArdan,

andsheknowsFaye.HowdidInotknowthis?

“HowdoesJessknoweveryonehere?”Iaskhimwhenwe’reinhisroomatthecompound.
“Trace,Jess’soldman,isamemberoftheclub,”hesays,takinghisbootsoff.
Ipause,somethinghittingme.“IsthathowIgotthejobatthesalon?Becauseit’sahellofacoincidence

otherwise.”

Atmytoneofvoice,Ardanstills,thenturnstome.“Jessneededsomeone.Shewaslookingthroughthe

applicationswhenshewashere,andwhenIheardhermentionyourname,Itoldhertogiveyouthejob.”

“Justlikethat?”Iask,feelingangrierandangrierwitheachwordthatcomesoutofhismouth.“WhatifI

wasshitatmyjob?”

“Youaren’t,”hesays,reachinghishandoutforme.“You’refuckin’talented.”
“Youdidn’tknowthat,though.SobasicallyIgotthejobonlybecauseofyou,notbecauseofmeorwhat

Icando.Idon’tknow,itjustfeelslikeIdidn’tearnitnow.”

IsitanoverreactionthatIfeellikeIneedtoquit?
“Jess is always raving about how lucky she is to have you,” he says, taking my hand and bringing me

closertohim.“Youkeptthejob,andthatwasallyou.Ijusttoldhertogiveyouachance.Shehadabout
twentypeopleapply,Valentina.Youwantedthejob,andIwantedyoutohavewhatyouwant.I’msorryif
itcomesoffas—”

“Controlling,”Iinsert.
“Controlling,”hecontinues,nowscowlingatme.“Butitwaswithinmypowertogiveyouthat,soIdid.

AndI’ddoitagain.Soifyouwanttobeangry,thenbeangry,becauseIdon’tregretit.”

Ithrowmyhandsintheair.“You’reunbelievable.SobasicallythiswholetimeI’vebeenworkingforthe

club,isthatwhatyou’retryingtosay?”

He nods slowly. “The club owns the salon, yeah. But we don’t have anything to do with it; we just

fundeditforJess,really.”

I’mprettysuremyeyeisstartingtotwitch.“Whydidn’tyoujusttellmethatfromthestart?Idon’tlike

allthesehiddensecretsandshit!”

“BecauseIknewyouwouldactlikethis,”headmits,lyingbackonthebedandstaringattheceiling.

“You’reproud,Iknowit.Butfuck,Valentina,Ididyouafavor,it’snottheendoftheworld.”

Ipuffoutanangrybreathandclimbintohisbed.He’sright,inaway,butsoamI.HereIthoughtI’d

doneeverythingbymyself,butreallyhe’sbeentakingcareofeverythingfromthebeginning.Iknowthatif

that’s the only thing I have to complain about in this relationship, I’m pretty lucky, but still, the fact I
didn’tevenknowJesswasapartofhisMCmakesmefeelstupidandoutoftheloop.

“There better not be any more secrets,” I say to him. “I’m serious, Ardan. I know you can’t tell me

everythingyoudowiththeclub,butwhenitconcernsme,Iwanttotalhonesty.”

“There’snothingelse,Valentina,”hesays,soundingtired.“Ifanything,thisshowshowmuchIwanted

you right from the start. I kept you completely away from the club because I wanted you to know me,
Ardan,andnotjustIrish.ButyoualsohaveJessasafriendnow,someoneyoucanturntoifyouhaveany
questionsyouwanttoaskawoman,or,Idon’tknow...Ijustthoughtitwouldmakebringingyouinto
myworldalittleeasier,becauseIplanonyoustayinghere.”

Softeningalittle,Iscootnexttohimandlaymyheadonhischest,onthespotwherehewasinjured.

“Youplanonmestayinghere?”

“Iwouldn’tputsomucheffortinwithyouifIdidn’t,”hesays,closinghiseyes.“Iwantyouasmyold

lady.Whatdidyouthinkweweredoinghere?”

“Ardan,”Isaywhenhisrantisover.
“Yeah?”
“Iloveyoutoo.”
AlthoughArdancanbecontrolling,it’scompletelydifferentfromDarren.Igetitnow.Thetwomen

arenothingalike,nothing.It’sthethoughtsandthereasonsbehindwhyArdandoesthings,andthefact
thatevenifIdon’tlistentohim,hewon’thurtmeinanyway.Hehasagoodheart,andIcandealwithhis
alphatendencies.Hejustwantstotakecareofme,buttherearenoconditionsbehindit.Hejustlovesme
andwantsthebestforme.

Hiseyesspringopen.“Yeah?”
“Yeah,”Isay,halflyingontopofhimandkissinghislips.“Iloveyou.”
“Finally,”hegrowls,kissingmedeeply.
Whenhepullsaway,Isaytohim,“Butnomoresecrets.”
“DoIgetmake-upsexnow?”heasks,makingmegrin.
“Thiswasourfirstfight,wasn’tit?”
“There’llbelotsmorewherethatcamefrom,”hesays,suckingonmybottomlip.“Butifwekeepour

fightscleanandoursexdirty,Ithinkwe’llmakeitthrougheachone.”

Ithinkhe’sright.

TWELVE

T

HE

nextnightatdinner,Imeettherestofhisbrothers,includingVinnie,theclub’syoungestmember,and

theclubpresident,Sin.IrememberVinniefromseeinghimbrieflywithRake,butdon’tmentionthatto
eitherofthem.Ialsomeetalltheiroldladiesandlikethemrightaway.They’reallbeautiful,smart,witty
women,andIcanseewhyanymanwouldbedrawntothem.Fayeishilarious,andIcantellshecaresfor
everyoneunderthisroof,takingthetimetotalkwitheachmemberofthefamily.WhenJesscomesandsits
next to me where we’re hanging outside, I don’t really know what to say to her, instantly feeling a little
awkward.

“Iwasn’tallowedtosayanythingtoyouaboutIrishortheclub,”shesays,wincing.“I’msorry.Ilike

you,Tina,andyou’reanamazinghairdresser,soIhopeourfriendshipdoesn’tchangebecauseofthis.I’m
gladIrishtoldmetohireyou,becauseyou’retheperfectfit.Forhimandforthesalon.”

“IguessIfeltstupidthateveryoneknewexceptme,”Itrytoexplain.“ButIknowitwasn’tyourfault;it

washis.Ofcoursewe’restillfriends.”

Shehugsme.“Good.ImeantwhatIsaid—I’mhappyIrishbroughtyouintoourlives.”
“Metoo,”Iadmit,smilingather.
“Themenwilldowhattheywanttogetwhattheywant,”shesays,shakingherhead.“Butthey’regood

men.Worththealphabullshitwehavetoputupwith.”

“It’sprettyhot,”Iadmit,thefeministinmescreaming.
“Iknow.”Shelaughs.“Trustme,Iknow.”
“SoyouforgiveJessstraightawaybutyou’restillgivingmeshit?”Ardanjokesashejoinsus.
“Itwasn’therdiabolicalplan,”Itellhimwitharaisedbrow.“Whatareyoueating?”
“There’ssomechickenwingsandribsupthere.Doyouwantmetobringyousome?”
“Yes,please,”Isay,andmystomachgrowlsinagreement.
Hedisappearsintothekitchen,andIseeJessstaringatmewithanoddexpression.
“What?”Iask.
“Nothing,”shesays,shrugging.“Justneverseenhimwaitonawomanbefore.Inmyyearsandyearsof

knowinghim.”

Idon’tknowhowtoreacttothat,soIjustshrugandstayquiet.

Shecontinues,“I’veneverseenhimgooutofhiswaytodosomethingforoneeither,unlessoneofhis

brothersaskeditofhim,ofcourse.”

Ardan returns with a plate of food, which he hands to me. I thank him and offer some to Jess, who

politelydeclines.HesitsnexttomeasIeat,andLanaandTrackerjoinus.

“Yourhairissobeautiful,”Lanasaystome,herbrowneyesfocusedonme.“Idon’tthinkI’veseenhair

likethatbefore.”

“Thankyou,”Itellher,touchingtheends.“Ardantellsmeyouwritebooks?”
Shelooksconfusedforamoment,butthenhereyeswiden.“Oh,Irish,right.Yes,Ido.Romancenovels.

Areyouareader?”

Inod.“Iam,butmainlynonfiction,especiallybiographies.I’dlovetogiveyourbooksatry,though—

I’msureI’lllovethem.”

“Maybemynextheroinewillhavehairlikeyours.”
“MaybeI’dlikethat,”Ireply,smilingather.
Shereturnsitandsays,“We’regoingouttoRiftthisweekend.Doyouwanttocomewithus?”
“Rift?”Iask,neverhavingheardoftheplace.
“Okay,that’senoughofthat,”Ardansays,shootingLanaalookofdisapproval.“Valentinaisbusythis

weekend.”

“Iam?”Iask,feelingamused.
“Youare,”hesays,notofferinganykindofexplanation.
“Letthewomanbreathe,Irish,”Lanasays,notputoutonebitbyhiswords.“Youhavetoletherbond

withus.We’lllookafterher,youknowwewill.”

“Fuck,Iknowyouwill;it’snotthat.I’mnotbeingapossessiveasshole,”heexplainstoher.“She’sgot

someshitgoingonrightnow,anduntilit’stakencareof,sheneedstobecareful—andgettingdrunkand
dancingontableswithyoulotisprettymuchtheoppositeofcareful.”

“Thatonlyhappenedtwice.”Lanapouts,thensays,“Ifthere’sanythingwecandotohelp,letusknow.”
“We’vegotthis,”Trackersaystohiswoman,wrappinghisarmaroundher.“Wejustneedeveryoneto

stayoutoftroubleforalittlewhile.Wedon’tneedanyfuckin’copsonourassesforanyreason.”

IneverthoughtaboutthefactthatthecopscoulddecidetohassletheMCbecauseofDarren.Feeling

worsethanIalreadydid,IthrowArdanalookthatsays,ThisisexactlywhatIdidn’twant.

“Don’t look at me like that,” he says, taking a chicken wing off my plate. “We’re just looking at the

situationfromeveryangle.Wedon’tknowwhatshithe’sgoingtopull,orhowmuchpowerheholdshere,
butweneedtolaylowuntilwefigureitallout.”

IlookatLanaandsay,“I’dlovetocomeoutwithyouassoonasIcan.”
Shegrins.“It’sadate.”
Trackerlooksatmeandsays,“Nowontotheimportantstuff.Lanadoesn’twantmetocutmyhair,so

willyoucutitformebehindherback?”

Lanaelbowshiminthestomach.“Themanbunlookssodamnsexyonyou!Don’tcutit!”
“Manbun,”Ardansnickersfrombesideme.“Fuck’ssake,Tracker.”
“Hey,”Trackersays,soundingoffended.“Itgetsallthebi—”Asifjustrememberinghiscompany,he

clearshisthroatandtriesagain.“Itgotmethisbeautifulwomanbymyside.”

“Nicetry,”Lanamutters,thenrunsherhandthroughhishair.“It’salwaysbeenlikethiseversinceImet

you.Ifyoucutitoff,that’slikefalseadvertising.YoumadeitseemlikeI’dalwayshavethis,andnowyou’re
justgoingtotakeitaway?YouneedtokeepyourselfhowyouwerewhenIfellinlovewithyou.”

“Wheredoyoucomeupwiththisshit?”heasks,hislipstwitching.HelookstoArdan.“Shecomesup

withshitonthespotlikethatallthetime.Nowondershe’ssogoodatherjob.”

Lanagrinsatme.“Luckyhe’scute,right?”
Ilaughattheirbanter.Thetwoofthemobviouslyloveeachothersomuch.
“I’mmorethancute.I’macovermodel,”heboasts,liftinguphisT-shirttoshowoffasetofrock-hard

abs.“I’magod.AndI’mpracticallyfamous.”

“Because you’re my man,” Lana adds, raising her eyebrows. Jess laughs and stands to leave the room.

“See,you’rechasingeveryoneawaynow.”

“Including us,” Ardan says, smirking. He stands and offers me his hand, taking the now-empty plate

fromme.“Let’sgoinside.”

Weminglewitheveryoneforanothertwohoursbeforewegobacktomyapartment.AllIcanthinkof

aftermeetingeveryoneisthatIreallyhopemybeingintheirlivesdoesn’tbringthemanytrouble.

That,andthatArdanisaveryluckymantohavesuchgreatpeopleathisback.

The next morning, I wake Ardan with my mouth on him. I watch as he slowly awakens, his dark eyes
pinnedonmeasmytongueworksitsmagic.Keepingourgazesconnected,ItakeasmuchofhimasIcan
intomymouth,pullingbackwhenIstarttogagalittle,bobbingmyheadasIpleasurehim.

“Fuck,Valentina,”hegrowls,hishandsgrippingthewhitesheets.Heletsgoandbringsthemtotangle

inmyhair.Hetugsonitalittle,turningmeonevenmore.

“Justlikethat,”hegroans,sinkinghisteethintohisbottomlip.
IgiveittohimjusthowIknowhelikesit,swipingmytongueoverhimandsuckingwithjusttheright

pressure. It’s not long before he comes, and I swallow every drop, loving the almost growling sounds he
makesashefinishes.Isitbackandsmileathimandsay,“Goodmorning.”

“It is, isn’t it,” he says, his eyes warm on me. “Fuck, I’d die a happy man if you woke me up every

morninglikethat.I’mgoingtobecheeryasshitallday.”

Ilaughandcrawlupthebednexttohim,lyingonmyback.
Heflipsmeover,rollsontopofme,andsays,“Nowit’syourturn.”
Yeah,todayisgoingtobeagooddayindeed.

THIRTEEN

I

’M

walkingtothefridgeinnothingbutmyblacknightiewhenIhearabangingonthefrontdoor.

“Police!Openup!”
Idon’trecognizethevoice,soit’snotDarren.
Ardanquicklyemergesfromourroominnothingbutapairofblacktrackpants.Helooksatme,rushes

backtotheroom,andreturnsholdingoneofhisT-shirtsinhishand.

“Putthisoveryournightie,now,”hesaysinano-nonsensetone.
IdoasI’mtold,hisT-shirthittingmykneesandcoveringmybreasts,andstandbackasheopensthe

frontdoor.

Twocopsstandthere.
Andoneishim.
Fuck.
He’sreallyhere.He’sdoingthis.Hehatesmethatmuch,thathe’sgoingcompletelyoutofhiswayto

make my life miserable. He came from across the country, dead set on what—revenge? Against the only
woman who once loved him, the woman who tried to save him from drugs, the one who gave him
everythingshehad?

Theonehetriedtodestroy.
Afterhemanipulatedme,cheatedonme,andverballyandemotionallyabusedme,hestillwantsmore

fromme.

There’safinelinebetweenloveandhate,butnowwearewellintohate,waypasttheline.
It’ssadithascometothis,anditbreaksmyheart,butsometimespeoplechange,andthere’snothing

youcando.Sometimeswhenyoukeeptakingthehighroad,youjustgettiredofit.Ican’tkeepforgiving
hisactions;I’mjustdonewithitall.He’snothingtome.Istandtherelookingathim,andIfeelnothing.

Ourgoodmemoriesaretaintedbythebadones.Themanstandinginfrontofme,Idon’tknow.What

Idoknowis,he’stheenemy.

Andthemanatmyside—he’smysavior.
ItrytoschoolmyexpressionintoblanknessasthetwomenstaredownArdan.
“Wegotcalledinforadisturbancehere,”Darrensays,hisgazetouchingmefromheadtotoe.“Didthe

twoofyouhaveafightorsomething?”

“No,”Ardanreplies,tonefullofsteel.“Theremustbeamistake,Officer.Nothinggoingonhereexcept

acoupleunwindingafteralongdayofwork.”

Hesaysofficerwithsomethingdarkandbitterinhistone,andthecopsdon’tmissit.
“We’ll just take a look around,” the other officer says, and Ardan’s body posture instantly becomes a

littlemoremenacing;hestandsupstraighterandhishandsclench.

“Prettysureyouneedsomekindofwarranttodothat.HowaboutIcallmylawyerfirstandseewhat

shesaysaboutit?”

Darren’sfacescrunchesupindistaste.“Wecandowhateverthefuckwewant.Nowstepasidebeforewe

arrestyouandtakeyouin.”

“For what? Knowing my rights?” Ardan says, sounding incredulous. I notice he speaks to the other

officer,notDarren.“I’mgoingtocallmylawyer.Shewillbehereintenminutes,andI’msureshe’sgoing
tolovehearingaboutexactlywhatthefuckisgoingon.”

Hestepsawayfromthedoorandstandsnexttome,pullingouthisphone.Darrenstepsinside,butI

notice the other officer hesitate, maybe wanting to follow protocol. Darren has no such hesitations,
however,lookingaroundandcheckingeachroom.

“Everythingseemsfinehere,”theofficersaystoDarren,thenlookstome.“IsthereanythingIcanhelp

youwith,ma’am?”

IshakemyheadandstepclosertoArdan.“I’mfine,sir.Justalittleconfusedastowhythisishappening

rightnow.”

He nods and glances around one more time before exiting and heading toward the police vehicle.

Darrenlooksstraightatme,makingmyheartraceandmychesttighten.

Ican’tbeartoevenlookathim;itmakesmefeelsick.Makesmefeeldirty.
“I’llseeyousoon,”hesays.
Athreat.
Andthen,hemakesamistake.
Hereacheshishandouttotouchme.
In a move so quick that I almost miss it, Ardan reaches his hand out and pushes Darren’s arm away

beforehisfingerscantouchmyface.

“Idon’tgiveafuckwhoyouare,”Ardangrowls,hisvoicesofullofanger.“Youdonotlayahandon

her.”

Darren drops the pretense of not knowing who we are and snarls, “Shacked up with a biker, Tina?

Thinkthat’sgoingtosaveyou?”

“Thinkbeingacopisgoingtosaveyou?”Ardanfiresback,pullingmeclosertohisside.“Thisismycity,

youfucker.Enjoyitwhileyou’rehere,becauseifyoucomenearValentinaagain,youwon’tmakeitout
alive.”

Darrenswallowsandthenlooksatme.“Thisisthemanyouchose?”
Ishrugandsay,“Atleasthe’snevercalledmenamesorbelittledmeorleftbruisesonme.Idefinitely

tradedup.”

Ardangoesstillbesideme,andIregretlettingthewordsfalloutofmymouth.

“Iwillfuckin’makeyouregretanyharmyou’vedonetoher,”hegrowls,makingmesighandtugonhis

arm.BeforeDarrencanreply,theotherofficerreturnsandaskswhat’sgoingonhere.Darrenquicklybacks
off.Thetwoofthemleave,andIstandthereamoment,replayingthesituationinmyhead.Whatwasthe
pointofthat?

“Ithinkhewastestinghiscopbuddy,”Ardansays,obviouslyanalyzingwhathappenedaswell.“That

cop’s not dirty, though. He wouldn’t have allowed Darren to do anything. Although Darren could have
arrestedmebysayingIattackedhimorsomeotherbullshit.”

Hestartstopace.“Whatfuckin’gameisheplayingat?”
Hestopsandlooksatme,comestome,andkissesmesoftly.“I’mgoingtocallFaye.Doyouthinkyou

cantrytogetsomerest?”

Inod,eventhoughIknowit’salie.There’snowayI’llsleepnow,especiallywithhimnotinthebed

withme.Anotherkiss,andthenIleavehimtohisphonecall.Ilieinbed,staringupattheceiling.

IstaylikethatforanhouruntilArdanreturnstobed.Oncehewrapsmeinhisembrace,onlythendoes

sleepcome.

“YouknowIrishwantstokillDarren,right?Notlikeametaphor—heactuallywantstokillhim,”Fayesays
boldly,sippingonhercocktail.

Ilookintomymartiniandnod.“Yeah,IthinkIgotthatlastnightwhenhethreatenedhim.”
“Andhowdoyoufeelaboutthat?There’sanotherwaywecangoaboutit,youknow.Wecouldfind

him guilty of all the shit he’s been doing, but we’ll have to find evidence to put him in prison. I was
thinkingaboutthislastnight,andIactuallycameupwithanidea,”shesays,anevilglintinhereye.“Ineed
totalktoIrish,ofcourse,butIcouldtotallygethisassbehindbars.”

“I think I’d prefer Darren behind bars to Ardan having to kill someone,” I say, grimacing. “I don’t

knowhowI’dhandlethat,tobecompletelyhonest.Itfeelslikehimdoingmydirtyworkforme,andI
don’tlikethat.”Ipause.“NotthatI’deverkillanyone,butyouknowwhatImean.Iwanttohelpifwe’re
goingtodotheprisonthing.MaybeIcanplaybaitinsomeway?Gethimtoadmitshitwhilewehavea
camerarecordingeverything?There’sabigspotlightondirtycopsrightnow,andIthinkhe’llgetwhathe
deserves.Itactuallymakesmesad,becausetherearesomeamazingcopsoutthere,workingtheirassesoff
anddoingtherightthing,andthenthere’ssomeonelikeDarrenwhomakesthemlookbad.”

“I’mstillstuckonbait,”Fayesays,grinning.“Ithinkyou’reontosomething,Tina.Irishisgoingtohate

it,though.Infact,what’sthebethethinksIcameupwiththeideainthefirstplace?AlthoughIhaveto
admit,thethoughtdidcrossmymind.

“You’retheonlyonewhocangethimtotalk;youknowhim;youcanmanipulatehim,Ithink.Dex

alsospoketohisbrother,Eric,whowasseenwithDarren,andEricsaidhemethimthroughafriendbut
thinkshe’sadoucheandiswillingtohelpustakehisassdown.”

“WhoisDex?”Iask,confused.

“Sin.”Fayelaughs,thensays,“IfeelthesamewaywhenyoucallIrishArdan.Ididn’tevenknowthat

washisnameuntilrecently.”

We share a laugh at that, and when Clover joins us outside and starts singing the Justin Bieber song

Ardanwashumming,Ilaughevenharder,becausenowIknowhowheknowsthesong.

CloveristhecutestlittlegirlI’veeverseen.
AndshecallsmeMerida.

FOURTEEN

“T

HIS

has Faye written all over it,” he growls, crossing his arms over his chest. “Do you actually for one

fuckin’secondthinkI’mgoingtoletmywomanactasbait?JesusChrist,Valentina,whatkindofmando
youtakemefor?”

“It’sthequickestwaytogethimoutofourlives,anditdoesn’tinvolvemurder.SosorryifIdecidedto

choosethatoption,”Isay,pursingmylipstogether.Ardanisinfull-alpha-protectionmodeandisclearly
notseeingthatit’sthebestoptionrightnow.“Ifweworkitoutproperly,there’snowayIcangethurt.
Surroundtheplacewithyourbadassmen,putamicrophoneonme—whateveryouwanttodo,weneedto
doitbeforehemakeshisnextmove.”Ipuffoutabreath.“Please,babe.Ican’tsitbackidly,twiddlingmy
thumbsandlookingprettywhileeveryoneelsefightsmywarforme.Iwantthistobeoverwithsowecan
moveonandjustfocusonus.”

“Howisthatthequickestoption?”heasks,shakinghishead.“Icangoouttonightand—”
“Igetthepoint,”Isay,cuttinghimoffbeforehetalksaboutkillingDarrenoncemore.“Iwanthimin

prison.Idon’twantyoutokillhim,oranyoneelse.Ican’tbelievewehavetokeephavingthisdiscussion.
Thisisn’tnormal—youknowthat,right?I’mprettysurewe’refuckingcrazy,asamatteroffact.AtleastI
am.Ishouldberunning,butinsteadI’msittingheretalkingyoudownfrommurderandtryingtooffer
myselfupasbait.”

Iexhaledeeply.
“Lovemakesyoucrazy,”Ardansays,hiseyesandvoicegentling.“Comehere,beautiful.Sitonmylap,

letmeholdyouforabit,andonceyou’vechangedyourmindaboutthewholebaitfiasco,I’mgoingto
makelovetoyou,slowanddeep,untilyoucome,clawingmybackandscreamingmyname.”

Isitonhislapandwrapmyarmsaroundhisneck.“Youmakemecrazy.”
“Rightbackatyou.”
“Iwantakiss.”
Hisliptwitchesatmydemandbeforehislipstouchmine.
“Iloveyou,”Isayagainsthislips.“Iwanttodothis.IknowIcandothis.I’llcomeoutunscathed,I

promise.”

“Youcan’tpromisethat,darlin’,”hesays,bitingmybottomlipgently.“Youcan’tpromiseyoursafety.

Andifsomethinghappenstoyou,that’swhentherealstormbegins.Youwantmedoinglifeinprison?”

“No,IwantDarrendoinglifeinprison,”Isay,restingmyforeheadagainsthis.“Iwantyourighthere

withme,fuckingmeeverynightandlovingmeeveryday.”

“Thenletmehandlethis.Tellmethetruth;itwasFaye’sidea,wasn’tit?”
“No,”Isnap,mybrowfurrowing.“Itwasn’t.”Ipause,thenhesitantlyadmit,“Althoughshesaidshewas

thinkingthesamething.”

“Iknewit,”hegroans,buryinghisfaceinmyneck.“Thisisfucked.”
“Takemetobed,”Iwhisper.“Iwantyouinsideme,rightnow.”
Hestandswithmeinhisarmsandtakesmetothebedroom,layingmedownandslidingoffmypanties.

Hismouthisonmypussywithnohesitation,andIforgeteverythingelse.

Inthemidstofthedrama,it’simportanttorememberwhatI’mfightingfor,andthisisit.
Tobewiththismanwithnooneinourway.
Tocuttieswiththepast,andtobefree.

Afewdayslater,IgetamessagefromDarren.

Meetme?Weneedtotalk.

I’m at the clubhouse when I receive it, and everyone surrounds me, barking out orders with what to

reply.

“Whydon’tyoujustaskhimwherehewantstomeet?Lethimthinkhe’sincontrolandcallingallthe

shots,”Annasuggests.

“Unlesshewantstomeetatthepolicestation,”Fayeadds,smirking.“Becausethenabortmission.”
IlooktoArdan,whotakesthephonefrommeandrepliesforme.

Where?

“Hemustbefuckedintheheadtothinkyou’dmeethimbyyourselfthough,”Ardansays.“Eitherhe’s

gotaplanofhisown,orhe’sstupidashell.Maybehe’sbackonthemeth.”

Fayemakesanoteinhernotepad.“Afterwegiveourevidence—andapositivedrugtestwillhelp—any

copswhotrytoprotecthim,knowinghe’sscum,willbetakendownwithhim.”

“You’rebrutal,”Lanasays,lookingimpressed.
“Iknow,”Fayereplieswithoutlookingup.“BegladI’monyourside.”
Thephonevibrates,andIlookoverArdan’sshouldertoreadwhatitsays.

Tonight.I’llmessageyoutheaddresslastminute,ataround7:00p.m.Don’tbringthatassholebikerwithyou.

“Nowwhat?”Iaskthepeanutgallery.
Ardanreplieswith,

Fine.We’lltalkforthelasttime,thenyouneedtoleavemealone.

“Lethimthinkthisiswhyyouwanttoseehim,totrytotalkhimintofinallylettingyougo.”
“Seems legit,” Faye says, nodding her head. “We got this, people. When he replies with the location,

we’llfigureouthowtoinfiltrateit.Irish,youneedtobeawarethatTinawillbedrivingtothelocationby
herself.”

“Motherfucker,”Ardanmuttersunderhisbreath.“Can’tIjustkillhimnowinstead?”
Thewomenallreplywitharesoundingno!
OnlyArrowreplieswithayes.
Faye puts her hand on his shoulder. “You attracted her; she attracted you. You’re both strong. You’re

bothwolves.No,you’rebothdragons.Shecandothis.Ihavenodoubtinmymind.”

Helooksintomyeyesandsearchesthem.“Willyouchangeyourmind?”
Ishakemyhead.
Henodsandlooksdownathishands.“Let’sdothis,then.Let’sbringthefuckerdown....”Hecringes.

“Thelegalway.”

Fayeistheonlyonewhocheersatthat.
Ijusthopewe’remakingtherightdecision.

IrepeattheaddresstoArdan,whorattlesitofftoLana,whosearchesforitonline.

“It’s pretty much a warehouse,” she says, squinting as she looks at her phone without her glasses. “An

emptybuildinginanindustrialarea.”

“Howshadydoesthatsound?”Ardangrumbles,stillputoutwithmygoing.“You’vegotthemicrophone

allsorted,right?Theconversationwillberecorded,sobecarefulwithyourwords.”

ArrowlooksatArdan.“IfeellikeweworkforthefuckingFBI.”
“We’repracticallydoingtheirjobforthem,”Sinmutters,standingnexttohiswife.“Right;weallknow

wherewe’remeanttobe,then?Ihavemypolicecontactoncallincaseweneedsomeonethereonourside.
Tracker is going to scope out if he’s there alone or has backup with him. I think we’ve got every angle
covered,andifsomethingelsecomesup,we’llimprovise.Attheendofthedayhe’sjustajunkie—I’msure
wecantakehim.”

Everyonedisappearstogetready,leavingmeandArdanalone,nodoubtonpurpose.Iappreciateit.
Hecradlesmyfaceinhishands.“You’vegotthis;we’vegotthis.Backupplan,Irunin,gunsa-blazing.”
Mymouthtwitches.“Iloveyou.”
“Iloveyoutoo,darlin’.”
We kiss. It’s an almost desperate kiss, frantic and hungry. Soul surging. And longer than appropriate,

givenwhat’sgoingon.

Whenourlipspart,ourgazestaysconnected.
Timetoteachamanalesson.

FIFTEEN

H

E

wears his police uniform. To intimidate me? I have no idea, but it’s not working. His clothes are

wrinkled, and his hair is disheveled. He doesn’t look put together at all. His eyes are red, and I see his
mouthtwitching,asignhe’sbeenusing.Iwalktowardhiminthewarehouse,glancingaroundtheplace.
To me, it seems as though Darren is alone, but I know better. Tracker said the Wind Dragons spotted
severalcopsontheothersideofthewarehouse,waitingforDarren’ssignalshouldanythinggowrong.

“You’relate,”hesays,scanningmefromheadtotoe.
“Ihadtofindtheplace,”Isay,stoppingafewfeetfromhim.“Ican’tbelieveyoucamehere.Ileftfora

reason,Darren—Iwantedafreshstart.”

Hisexpressionhardens.“You’remine,Tina.IfyouthinkI’mgoingtoletyouwalkawayandstartanew

life,youhaveanotherthinkcoming.I’dkillyoubeforeIletyoumoveon.Imightkillyoujustforbeing
withanotherman;Ihaven’tdecidedyet.”

Killme?
Ilookinhiseyesandknowthathemeanswhathesays.He’sneverleftmorethanbruisesonmebefore,

which is terrible enough, but it looks like this time he wants me gone for good. My mind flashes to a
memoryofuswhenwefirstmet.Howhavethingsendedupthisway?Howcansomethingthatstartswitha
smileendinsuchhate?

Ilookdownandsay,“YouwanttopullmeawayfromwhereI’mhappysoyoucankillme?Stillonthe

meth,Darren?”

Hegrunts.“Noneofyourfuckingbusiness,Tina.Unlessyouwantyourlittlebikerfriendstobetaken

down by the cops here, you’ll come back home with me. You stay, then soon the clubhouse gets raided.
Yeah,IheardallabouttheWindDragons.I’vedonemyresearch.Thecopsknowwhotheyare.Andwe’ll
findareasontoputthemallbehindbars.Ifwecan’t,we’lljusthavetomakeoneup.”

Hepullsoutabagofawhite,crystallinepowder.“I’lljustplantashitloadofdrugsintheirclubhouse.

Problemsolved.”

ItrytorememberwhatFayewantedmetosay,butmymindissuddenlyblank.IjustknowIneedto

keephimtalking.“Whatdoyouwant,Darren?”

“Wegohome.Thisweekend.Tellyourbikerfriendsyou’removingback.Makeupsomeexcuse;don’t

letthemfollowyou.Wedon’tneedthattrashinourtown.”

Mylipstighten.Ifanyoneistrash,it’shim.
“Youlookgood,Tina,”hesays,hisvoiceturningalittlehusky,makingmefeelsicktomystomach.“I

can’twaittobeinsideyouagain.Ican’twaittohaveyoubackhome,whereIcandoanythingIwantwith
you.You’regoingtoregretleaving.You’llbemine,inthislifeorthefuckingnext.Iwillneverletyougo.”

Iswallowhard.
He’sinsane.
GoosebumpsappearonmyskinasIrealizetheseverityofthesituation.
“You have until tomorrow to make your decision.” He laughs then, an ugly, almost deranged sound.

“Andkeepyourfuckingtrapshutwiththosebikers;don’ttryanyofyourshit.Theycan’tsaveyou.Youlet
thebadinmeout,Tina.Testme—Idareyou.”

Iletthebadinhimout?Asusual,hecannevertakeresponsibilityforhisownactions.Nothingisever

hisfault.Ican’tbelievethethinginfrontofmedarestocallhimselfaman.He’spathetic.

Iwasn’ttheweakpersonwhoinsertedaneedleinhisarm.Ididn’thurthimonpurpose.He’sawasteof

fucking space. He shouldn’t be breathing the same air as Ardan, or any man in the MC. For a second I
wonderifmaybeArdanisright.I’dsleepbetteratnightknowingthisfilthisn’twalkingthestreets,maybe
ruiningthelifeofsomeotherwoman.Oristhatpositionreservedonlyforme?WhyamIsounlucky?Why
didIgetdealtthishand?Atearrollsdownmycheek.Ican’tbelieveIputupwiththisforsolong.I’mso
fuckingstupid.I’mworthsomething.Icanmakeamanhappy.IcanmakeArdanhappy.Idomakehim
happy.

I.Am.ENOUGH.
“Ihateyou,”Isay,myvoicelifeless.“Ireadsomewhereoncethatdarknesscanbeagift.Yougaveme

darkness.Yougavemeregret,yougavemefear,andyougavemeself-doubt.ButItookallthatpain,andI
turneditintostrength.You’reweak,Darren,andyoucanneverdestroyme.”

Andthen...somethinginsidemebreaks.
Suddenly,Idon’tcareabouttheplan.Ijustwanttoreclaimmypower.“I’dratherdiethanbeanywhere

nearyoueveragain,Darren!”Iyell.“Dowhateveryouwant.Tryyourbest.Thetruthis,you’retheone
whocan’tletgo.Thestrongmoveon,theyadapt.Theweakhangon,placeblame,andtrytomakeothers
feellikeshitbecausetheyknowthattheythemselvesareworthless.You,Darren,areworthless.Ifyouhave
to use your power as a man to make a woman feel like she’s nothing just so you can feel better about
yourself,you’renothingbutacoward!”

Hisfacecontortsinanger,andhelungesatme.
Inthismoment,IknowthatI’vefuckedup.WhathaveIdone?Whydidn’tIjuststicktotheplan?
Fuck.
Hishandgripsmythroat,andhesqueezes.Ilookintohiseyes,andthey’rewild,crazy.
Iknowbythestrengthinhisholdthatthisisnowarning.No,thistime,hewantstokillme.Andhe

will.

Maybehe’llblamemyowndeathonmetoo.
Spotsstartappearingbeforemyeyes.Ineedtobreathe,butIcan’t.
I’m trying. I hear a commotion, yelling, and the sounds of shoes on concrete. Then I hear a pained

growl,andsomehow,thesoundmakesmefeelnotsoalone.

Theneverythinggoesblack.

Iwakeupinahospitalroom.

“You’reawake,”Ardansays,kissingmyhand.
“Whathappened?”Iask,myvoicecomingoutcroaky.“BesidesmygettingstrangledbyDarren.”
Itouchmyneckandwince.“Whatdoesitlooklike?”
“It’sgoingtobruise,”hesays,frowning.“It’sreallyredandswollen.”
“Whathappened,Ardan?”Iwhisper.
“Youpassedout,felltotheground,andbangedyourhead,”hesays,rubbinghisthumbagainstmine.

“Sin got his cop buddy to take Darren into custody. We gave him the recording. Darren’s going away,
Valentina,andit’sallbecauseofyouandhowbraveyouwere.”

“Really?”Iask,exhalinginrelief.“IthoughtIfuckedeverythingupafterIlostmytemper.”
“That redhead temper really surfaced at the wrong time, darlin’,” he says, smiling gently. “But

everythingworkedout.Youwon’tseehimagain.Fayewillfollowthestoryincourtandkeepusupdated.”

Iclosemyeyesandbreatheinandout.“Wedidit?Wemadeitoutunscathed?”
“Wedidit,”hesaystome.“Youdidit.WhenIranintothewarehouseandsawyouthereonthefloor,

I’veneverbeensoscaredinmylife.Ipickedyouupandtookyoustraighttothehospital,spedthewhole
way.”

Hestandsandleansoverthebedtokissmyforehead.“Rest,beautiful.Everythingisfine;it’sallover,all

right?Butfortherecord,you’reneverputtingyourselfatriskagain,youhearme?I’lllockyouupifIhave
to.”

“Okay,”Iwhisper,closingmyeyes.“Don’tleaveme.”
“Never,”hereplies.“I’mjustgoingtostepoutandtelleveryoneyou’reokay.They’reallhereforyou,

outsideyourdoor.”

Ismile.“Okay.”
Anotherkisstomyforehead.
Wemadeit.
Isleeppeacefully.

EPILOGUE

Irish

“Y

OU

evergoingtotellherwhatreallyhappened?”Sinasksmequietly.

Ishakemyhead.“No.Never.Takeittomygrave,andsowilleveryoneelse.”
“Ihandledthecops,”hesays,lookingaway.
“How?”
“They’re all dirty. I told them the shit we have on Darren, and if they want to go down with him,

they’remorethanwelcometo.”

“Surethey’renotgonnatalk?”Iask,trustingSin’sdecisiononthematterbutstillcurious.Thelastplace

Iwanttobeinisprison,especiallynowthatIhaveValentina.

“Theywon’ttalk,”hesays,flashingmeanevilgrin,allteeth.Hethenclearshisthroatandsays,“You

sureyoudon’twantTinatoknow?Thesethingshaveawayofcomingback,Irish.”

“No,”Isayinafirm,strongtone.
No.
Sheneverneedstoknow.
She’sbeenthroughenoughasitis.
It’sonlysunshineandfuckin’butterfliesforherfromhereonout.
Henods,lookinglikehewantstosaymore,butwisely,hedoesn’t.IwantValentinatothinkthat’swhat

wentdown—she’llsleepbetteratnightthatway.Shedoesn’tneedtoknowthatwhenIwalkedintothat
warehouseandsawherpassedoutonthefloor,IdidwhatI’dwantedtodofromtheverybeginning.

IshotDarrenincoldblood,andIlookedhimintheeyewhileIdidit.
Andfuckthebastard,I’ddoitagain.

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

Firstofall,I’dliketothankallmyreadersforwantingmorefromtheWDMC,andforGallerybooksand
AbbyZidleformakingitareality.

Tomyagent,KimberlyBrower,I’msoluckytohaveyou!Thankyouforeverythingyoudo,asalways.I

knowIcanalwayscountonyou,andI’msograteful.

Abigthankyoutoallmybetareaders,thewomenwhoarealwaysthereformeonadailybasis.
Mallory Green, Kara Brown, Stephanie Knowles, Rachel Brookes, Rose Tawil, Eileen Robinson, and

MelanieWilliams—Idon’tknowwhatI’ddowithoutyou!

ArijanaKarcic—thankyouforallyoudoforme.You’reseriouslythebestanddeservetheworld.
ThankyoutomyparentsforhelpingoutwheneverIneedmorewritingtime—Iappreciateeverything

youdoforme—andtomythreesonsforbeingpatientwhentheyknowtheirmamahastowork.Ilove
youallsomuch.

FMRBookGrind,thankyouforeverything.Iappreciateallthehardworkyoualldoforme!

Don'twanttoleavetheWindDragonsMotorcycleClubyet?

ReadDexandFaye'sstoryinDragon'sLair,onsalenow!

Dragon'sLair

CLICKHERETOORDER

BeingtheyoungersisterofaWindDragonsMCmemberisn’tasgreatasyou’dthinkitwouldbe...willLanaever

getTrackertonoticeher?

Arrow'sHell

CLICKHERETOORDER

Don'tmissthethirdbookintheWindDragon'sMotorcycleClubseries,onsalenow!

Tracker'sEnd

CLICKHERETOORDER

ORDERYOURCOPIESTODAY!

ABOUTTHEAUTHOR

Bestselling author Chantal Fernando lives in Western Australia. In addition to the Wind Dragons MC
series,herpublishednovelsincludefourbooksintheResistingLoveseries—Case, Kade, Ryder and James;
thebestsellingnovelMaybeThisTimeanditsfollowup,ThisTimeAround.Whennotreading,writing,or
daydreamingshecanbefoundenjoyinglifewithherthreesonsandfamily.

FORMOREONTHISAUTHOR:

Authors.SimonandSchuster.com/Chantal-Fernando

MEETTHEAUTHORS,WATCHVIDEOSANDMOREAT

SimonandSchuster.com

TheWindDragonsMotorcycleClubSeries

Dragon’sLair

Arrow’sHell

Tracker’sEnd

WehopeyouenjoyedreadingthisPocketStarBookseBook.

Signupforournewsletterandreceivespecialoffers,accesstobonuscontent,andinfoonthelatestnewreleasesandothergreateBooksfrom

PocketStarBooksandSimon&Schuster.

CLICKHERETOSIGNUP

orvisitusonlinetosignupat

eBookNews.SimonandSchuster.com

PocketStarBooks

AnImprintofSimon&Schuster,Inc.

1230AvenueoftheAmericas

NewYork,NY10020

www.SimonandSchuster.com

Thisbookisaworkoffiction.Anyreferencestohistoricalevents,realpeople,orrealplacesareusedfictitiously.Othernames,characters,

places,andeventsareproductsoftheauthor’simagination,andanyresemblancetoactualeventsorplacesorpersons,livingordead,is

entirelycoincidental.

Copyright©2016byChantalFernando

Allrightsreserved,includingtherighttoreproducethisbookorportionsthereofinanyformwhatsoever.Forinformation,addressPocket

BooksSubsidiaryRightsDepartment,1230AvenueoftheAmericas,NewYork,NY10020.

FirstPocketStarBooksebookeditionFebruary2016

POCKETSTARBOOKSandcolophonareregisteredtrademarksofSimon&Schuster,Inc.

TheSimon&SchusterSpeakersBureaucanbringauthorstoyourliveevent.Formoreinformationortobookanevent,contacttheSimon&

SchusterSpeakersBureauat1-866-248-3049orvisitourwebsiteat

www.simonspeakers.com

.

ISBN978-1-5011-3964-2

CONTENTS

Epigraph

Prologue
One
Two
Three
Four
Five
Six
Seven
Eight
Nine
Ten
Eleven
Twelve
Thirteen
Fourteen
Fifteen
Epilogue

Acknowledgments
AbouttheAuthor