In a Wolf’s Eyes
By
Cassandra Gold
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are products of the
author’s imagination or are used fictitiously and are not to be construed as real. Any
resemblance to actual events, locales, organizations, or persons, living or dead, is
entirely coincidental.
In a Wolf’s Eyes
Copyright© 2008 Cassandra Gold
ISBN: 978-1-60088-325-5
Cover Artist: Croco Designs
Editor: Tracy Seybold
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced electronically or
in print without written permission, except in the case of brief quotations embodied
in reviews.
Cobblestone Press, LLC
www.cobblestone-press.com
Dedication
To Susan, who doesn’t think I suck.
Thanks for your support (and the Ode to Girls’ Night).
Chapter One
God, it’s cold.
Reed tried to quiet his chattering teeth as he trudged through the
forest, trying to get his bearings. He looked around, praying to see some trail
markers or anything else leading back to civilization. Unfortunately, he saw nothing
remotely familiar or helpful. All the rocks and trees looked the same in the oncoming
dusk. At least the hard, icy rain from earlier had tapered off into a slightly less icy
mist, but since he’d gotten pretty well soaked already he couldn’t really count his
blessings.
Damn! How could I have gotten so lost? I could have sworn I was following the trail
markers…
A sharp twinge of pain in his leg brought him up short. Oh, come on! Not
now. Please, not now.
“Fuck!” He’d already been walking too long and on bad terrain, and the rain
probably hadn’t helped. He stopped and massaged his left thigh carefully, praying
the pain would pass.
Reed almost laughed at the horrible irony of his situation. What else could go
wrong? I’m cold, I’m tired, my leg hurts like a bitch, and I’m completely lost. Some
celebration trip this is turning out to be.
The urge to laugh fled the second he glanced up, however. He could actually
feel the blood drain from his face as he caught sight of two large, green eyes glinting
from the shelter of the trees. Something big stood in the forest, staring at him. A low,
menacing growl rumbled from the animal’s throat. The hair on the back of his neck
stood up in reaction.
Well, I guess I just found out what else could go wrong.
Reed’s first thought was to run like hell, but he forced himself to stay put. If he
ran, he might scare the creature. Or piss it off. Either way, he didn’t want to upset
something big and probably toothy. Besides, he wouldn’t get far with his leg hurting
this much. Whatever hid in the woods could easily catch him if he fell on his face.
Maybe if I talk to it…
Desperate, he decided to try. “Hey there, big guy,” he choked out, trying to
keep his voice soft and non-threatening. His voice cracked a bit, but at least he wasn’t
too scared to speak. Somehow the sound actually made him feel a little better, in a
weird sort of way.
The growling stopped. The creature’s green eyes narrowed, and the
undergrowth rustled as it began to move closer.
He started talking again, praying the animal wasn’t preparing to attack. “I’m
sorry about getting lost in your forest. I’d, uh, really appreciate it if you didn’t rip my
throat out or anything.”
His fear surged full-force as the animal drew nearer and nearer. Reed cringed,
holding his ground as best he could. He couldn’t help gaping when the creature
finally emerged from the brush. It was a wolf—a huge, black wolf with striking,
unusually dark green eyes.
I think I read somewhere that wolves almost never attack people. Please, please be true.
The wolf closed the distance between them cautiously, sniffing the air. Reed
tried desperately not to make eye contact. He’d read something else about wolves
and dogs seeing eye contact as a challenge. He had no idea if the article was accurate,
but better safe than sorry, right?
To keep his mind off his fear, he began to speak softly to the wolf again.
“You’re beautiful, you know. And I’m not just saying so because I don’t want to be
dinner. Although I have to admit, you’re kind of freaking me out here. I guess this is
what I get for thinking nothing could be worse than being cold, wet, and lost.”
The wolf cocked its head, eyeing Reed as if it understood his words.
Reed shook his head at his own ridiculous thoughts. Of course it can’t
understand me.
Still, talking to the wolf seemed to be working, so he kept going. “I
don’t suppose you know of a place around here where I could rest awhile and get
warm? I don’t think anyone’s going to find me tonight, and my leg’s hurting pretty
bad.”
To his utter shock, the wolf came right over to him. Not flinching away or
running took pretty much all his courage, especially when the big creature’s sharp
teeth hovered near his arm. Rather than biting, though, the wolf grasped his sleeve
almost delicately and tugged the material. Confused, Reed didn’t move. The wolf
tugged again, insistently, and then let go.
Either I’ve gone insane or I’m really stupid. Or both! Then again, I don’t have a lot of
options here.
With a shrug and a sigh, Reed trailed after the wolf. Anytime he
stumbled or fell too far behind, the wolf came back and waited for him. In the back of
his mind he knew this situation was bizarre and unnatural. A wolf shouldn’t be
interacting with a human like this, and its behavior seemed to show an abnormal
degree of intelligence. He was just tired, cold, and scared enough not to care about
logic, however, so he continued following his furry new friend.
After what felt like an eternity but was probably only ten or fifteen minutes,
he spotted the wolf standing before the entrance to what appeared to be a small cave.
The wolf whined at him, shook some of the water off its coat, and disappeared into
the dark opening. He hesitated. Do I really want to go into a cave with a wild animal?
A loud clap of thunder and the rapidly darkening sky made his decision for
him. Crouching down low, he followed the wolf into the cave.
Chapter Two
The inside of the cave turned out to be much bigger than Reed expected. He
could stand up, and there was plenty of room to spread out on the rough, relatively
clean stone floor. He dropped his backpack on the floor, shivering miserably now
that he wasn’t moving.
The wolf approached him again and tugged at his sodden sleeve. He scowled.
“What?”
For a second he could have sworn the wolf rolled its eyes at him before the
determined creature pulled on his sleeve again.
He nearly tripped over his backpack when the wolf pulled, and a light bulb
went on in his head. I’ve got a dry blanket in there. “Oh, you think I should take off my
wet clothes? Good idea.”
I can’t believe I’m in a cave, having a conversation with a wolf like there’s nothing
weird about any of this. Maybe none of this is really happening, and I’m actually lying in a
gulley somewhere.
He grimaced at the thought. God, I hope not. Real or not, though, no
point in being uncomfortable while I’m here.
Reed began to strip off his wet clothing, placing the pieces where they
wouldn’t overlap and might dry a bit. His jacket, flannel shirt, and t-shirt came off
relatively easily, but when he got to his boots he had a bit of trouble. He had to
crouch down and pick at the laces with cold, numb fingers, cursing under his breath
until he finally got the knots undone. He kicked the boots aside and struggled out of
his soggy socks and damp jeans. The wet denim clung to his skin, and he hissed in
pain when the material dragged over his aching thigh.
Preoccupied, he almost forgot about his canine companion. At least until he
heard a whine. The wolf’s eyes were locked squarely on the mass of ugly, reddened
scars spider-webbing his left side from his knee to his waist. Reed glanced down at
the marks, a strange sense of embarrassment rising. He’d hated the sight of his body
for months after the accident. Now he didn’t notice the scars as much, although he
hadn’t been naked in front of anyone other than doctors or other medical personnel
since the accident. Well, and Dillon, but he tried not to think about that. Being naked
in front of a wolf shouldn’t bother him at all, yet somehow the creature’s too-
intelligent stare made the situation uncomfortable.
The large animal whined again, seemingly in sympathy. Reed pulled the
blanket and the extra pair of socks he’d brought out of his backpack and quickly
covered himself as best he could, not wanting those intent green eyes staring at his
scars anymore.
He sat down beside his bag, laughing self-consciously at his own idiotic
behavior. Why should I care if a wolf sees my scars? “I was in a really bad car accident a
while back. The scars are ugly, huh? My ex sure thought so. He wasn’t much help
during my recovery, and once he saw what I looked like naked he bailed on me. And
why the fuck I’m explaining any of this to a wolf is beyond me.”
Desperate to get his mind off depressing subjects, Reed rummaged in the
backpack. He came up with a bottle of water, an energy bar, and a small bag of beef
jerky. “You hungry? I sure am.”
He opened the bag of jerky and offered a large piece to the wolf. The animal
sniffed at the jerky for a moment before taking the strip of dried meat from Reed’s
hand. While the wolf gnawed contentedly, Reed opened his bottle of water and took
a long swig. For a while he and his new friend ate in companionable silence. His
shivering slowed, and the food and water raised his spirits considerably.
When he finished the energy bar, he massaged his thigh again. The throbbing
pain from earlier had dulled to a steady ache. He hoped sleeping on the hard, chilly
cave floor wouldn’t make the muscles stiffen up too much. God only knows how far I’ll
have to hike tomorrow. I hope someone’s looking for me. Maybe Wolfy here can lead me back
to the lodge.
He snickered at the thought, causing the subject of his musings to look up
with a quizzical expression. Reed laughed, hardly able to believe how human-like
the animal’s expressions were.
The wolf, which had been lying a few feet away, edged toward him. Earlier he
would have been terrified. Now he patted the ground beside him, not even the
slightest bit worried the animal would hurt him. Tail wagging, the wolf moved to lie
alongside him.
Reed reached out a tentative hand, not sure if the creature would welcome his
touch or not. The wolf didn’t move when he gently patted the thick fur on its neck. It
even seemed to lean into his hand. Stroking the wolf’s head and neck, he marveled at
how soft the fur there felt.
The repetition of motion involved in petting his new friend and the sleek fur
beneath his hand soothed him, and he found himself yawning. The adrenaline surge
he’d felt in the forest had subsided, allowing his exhaustion to return. Stretching out
full-length on the ground, he used his backpack as a lumpy, rather uncomfortable
pillow.
The wolf whined, and Reed realized he’d stopped petting the creature. He
started petting the wolf again, laughing when his canine companion licked his hand
and gave him an adoring look. “Demanding, aren’t you?”
They lay together quietly for a while. Reed grew even warmer with the extra
body heat the wolf provided. Despite being drowsy and almost comfortable, he
didn’t go to sleep. Instead, he thought about the past year. This trip was supposed to
be a celebration of how far he’d come since the accident, but now he realized he still
dwelled too much on the past and all he’d lost. He’d been moping for months. And
it’s about damned time I stopped doing that.
Reed suddenly needed to talk to someone, even if his chosen confidant
couldn’t talk back. “You know how I told you I was in an accident?” He stopped,
startled by an odd realization. Talking to a wolf didn’t even feel weird anymore. How
fucked up is that?
The wolf watched him, intent, cocking its head as if to listen.
The words began to pour out of him then. “Well, about a year ago I was on the
way to a photo shoot when an SUV flew through a red light and plowed right into
my car. I hit my head on the window and was out for a while. When I woke up,
emergency workers were using the Jaws of Life to get me out. I was in pretty bad
shape. I almost lost my left leg, but with a lot of surgery doctors were able to save it.
They also had to do some surgery on my head, to relieve the pressure on my brain. I
was in the hospital for a long time.”
The wolf whined and nuzzled his side. Strangely comforted by the gesture, he
continued. “When I finally got out of the hospital, I had all this rehabilitation to do.
Trying to relearn how to walk on my leg was really painful. Through it all, my family
stood by me, but a lot of other people didn’t. All the people I worked with in the
modeling industry pretty much forgot I existed. I knew my career was over. Nobody
wants to hire a model that looks like Frankenstein’s monster.” He rubbed the scar on
his temple. The mark was small, not glaringly obvious like the ones on his side, yet
still marked him as no longer perfect.
“I didn’t mind losing my career so much. I didn’t enjoy modeling anyway,
and I had been ready for a change for a while. Losing my so-called friends in the
industry wasn’t a big deal either, because most of those people were users and fakes.
I never realized Dillon was one of them.” The familiar ache thinking about Dillon
always caused rose up, less than it had been but still there.
He paused to take a long swallow from the bottle of water and to collect
himself. The cave had darkened so much he could barely see his companion, but the
warmth and softness were reassuring. “Dillon and I were together for almost eight
months before the accident. I truly thought he cared about me, even when he didn’t
come to see me in the hospital as often as my parents and my sisters did. He’d been
acting kind of distant for weeks, but I figured he was busy. Dillon worked for a
famous photographer, which is how we met, and the photographer was a real
workaholic. Then rehab started and I was busy. Finally, I had completed enough
rehab and I could move around pretty well. I wanted to surprise him.”
Remembering the surprise he’d received in return, he frowned. “I cooked a
nice dinner for us and at first everything seemed okay. We ate, and he talked about
the shoot he was doing. Then I kissed him and we started making out. When I took
off my shirt, I could tell he was disgusted by the scars. He stopped and said he
couldn’t go through with it. He told me I was hideous, and he’d been cheating on me
with some barely legal model for months.”
The wolf growled softly, and Reed chuckled. “Yeah, that’s what I thought too.
I never got to tell him that my mom had booked us a trip here to celebrate my
recovery. I felt horrible about the breakup at the time, but now I’m glad I got rid of
such a shallow jerk. When I get lonely, I remind myself at least I’m not still with that
cheating asshole. And hell, I can’t really blame him. He signed on for fun and sex
with a model, not hard times with an ugly gimp. ”
The wolf whined and moved to lie right against him. Heart lighter for having
shared his story, Reed stroked the animal’s soft fur and allowed himself to be
soothed into sleep.
Chapter Three
Ethan watched the young man, entranced by the way sleep smoothed the lines
of pain away from his face. Imagining the sleeping man as a model wasn’t difficult.
With those high cheekbones, full lips, blond hair, and gorgeous blue eyes, he’d
probably made a fortune. And now he seems to think he’s ugly. Silly human. If he were a
werewolf, the scars would be seen for what they are—a sign of his strength. Anyone who
would hurt him must be a fool.
Ethan gave a chuff of wolf-laughter at his own besotted thoughts. When he’d
seen the young hiker in his part of the forest, he’d been angry at first. He hated when
people intruded into his sanctuary. Then he’d seen how cold, scared, and downright
miserable the poor man was, and he’d had a change of heart. The man’s decision to
stand his ground and talk to a terrifying creature rather than run away had cemented
Ethan’s desire to help him. He’d led the lost hiker to one of his bolt-holes.
Once inside the cave, Ethan had been surprised by how quickly the human
had gotten to him. He’d been alone for a long time, ever since his last lover had
ditched him for the lure of the big city, so he was wary of any kind of connection.
Still, everything about this boy called to him. He’d tried to keep his mind on helping
the human and nothing more, but seeing how beautiful the young man was, and
how sad, had cemented Ethan’s desire for him. The whole time he’d been telling his
story, Ethan had wanted to shift and hold him. Only fear of terrifying the poor young
man had kept Ethan in wolf form. Besides, the human seemed to find his wolf form
comforting.
Ethan cuddled in close to his companion, making himself comfortable and
listening to the soft even breathing. He nuzzled against the human, drinking in the
scent of warm, naked skin. God, he smells good. Too bad this blanket is here. Tomorrow
he’d lead the young man back to wherever he’d come from, but for now he’d sleep.
* * * * *
When Ethan awoke, the pale, dim light in the cave told him morning had
come. The young human slept on beside him, face unlined and peaceful in sleep.
Even with the scar on his temple, the man was beautiful. Ethan’s desire to touch him
flared to an almost painful degree. And I can touch him. All I have to do is shift. But
should I?
He considered the possibilities. The human could react with disbelief, fear,
acceptance, or perhaps a mixture of the three. Which one it would be was beyond his
power to predict, because his experience in revealing himself was limited. His last
lover hadn’t even known he was a werewolf.
Most of the Elders didn’t believe human-werewolf relationships were good,
especially lasting ones. They believed weres should only be with other weres, both
because of prejudice against humans and human prejudice against anything or
anyone different from them. Unfortunately, the anti-human stance of the Elders
severely limited the dating pool for a gay werewolf. He’d rarely met a gay were of
any kind, let alone a wolf. He knew this human was gay, which was good. He
couldn’t be so certain if the man would turn out to be tolerant and understanding of
their species differences, however. At least they were alone, so if the young human
ran off in hysterics, no witnesses could corroborate his story.
Shifting would be risky, but it’s been so long since I touched someone or had someone
touch me. I just might be lonely enough to try it.
After taking another look at the sleeping man’s sweet face, Ethan decided he
was definitely lonely enough to take the risk. Two years was way too long to be alone,
especially for a werewolf. Werewolves craved companionship, like their ordinary
wolf counterparts.
In many ways the young man seemed like a kindred soul. They had both been
hurt before. And as an added bonus, the former model had experience with people
judging him on his appearance, so maybe he would be more accepting of Ethan’s
difference.
If not, Ethan would have lost very little, since no one would ever believe he
was a werewolf. Taking a deep breath, he called his human form.
Chapter Four
During his modeling days, Reed had always hated mornings. He’d stayed up
way too late nearly every night working or at some tedious industry party, making
any time before noon seem tortuously early. After the accident, though, he’d taken to
waking up much earlier, sometimes even catching a sunrise. He liked awakening
slowly, unhurried, with enough time to savor a cup of good coffee and relax.
This morning something was different, wrong. He felt disoriented for only a
few seconds before the hard, chill surface beneath him and the slight ache and
stiffness in his bad leg brought back memories of being lost the day before. His side
still felt warm where his canine companion had lain all night, and he reached out to
stroke the animal. To his shock, his fingers encountered not the soft fur he was
expecting, but smooth, silky skin. For an instant he was confused, his mind refusing
to accept this impossibility.
Dillon? No, he left months ago. And I’m not at home.
His eyes flew open. Astonished, afraid, Reed jerked back from the large,
naked man lying where the wolf had been the night before. Clutching the blanket
tightly around him, he scrambled to his feet and backed away until he smacked into
the wall of the cave.
The man tilted his head, expression almost hurt, shaggy black hair falling over
his deep green eyes. Green eyes. Something about the man’s eyes seemed familiar to
Reed, but his sleep and fear-fogged brain couldn’t make the connection.
How the hell did he get here? Why? Where are his clothes?
Reed’s mouth worked as he tried to articulate one of those questions, but due
to his rising panic what came out instead was, “Where is he? You better not have
hurt him!”
The man looked confused for a moment. Then he smiled. “The wolf, you
mean? I could never hurt him.”
Though the man’s deep, husky voice sounded sincere, Reed wasn’t convinced.
Trying to distract the guy, he tossed out a series of rapid-fire questions. “Where is he,
then? Why are you here? And where the hell are your clothes?”
The man’s smile widened, revealing a dimple in his right cheek. He didn’t
seem at all disconcerted by Reed’s flood of questions. “My clothes are right over
there.” He gestured toward the back of the cave.
A hint of regret crept in. Holy shit, he’s beautiful. If he wasn’t a crazy naked guy,
I’d be drooling over him right now.
Frowning, Reed shook his head, hoping to shake his ridiculous thoughts.
“Okay, good to know. So…why aren’t you wearing them?”
“I just shifted, and I didn’t want to wake you. I haven’t had time to get them
yet.” Crazy Naked Guy watched Reed calmly, as if what he’d said were perfectly
reasonable.
Shifted?
Reed felt his eyebrows creeping up toward his hairline. Damn. The first
attractive guy I meet here and he’s completely whacko.
“Riiiiight. Um, about that. Why are
you here?”
The weird guy’s green eyes met his, full of sincerity and concern. “You needed
me.”
Sweet, yet creepy. Aw, jeez. I have to find a way to get away from this guy.
He
nodded, humoring the intruder. “Uh huh. Well, right now I need you to put on some
clothes.”
The man sighed, the sound conveying both disappointment and resignation.
“You don’t recognize me.”
“Of course I don’t. We’ve never met.”
The stranger raked a large hand through his black hair, moving several thick
strands out of his face. He eyed Reed intently. “This will be hard to accept, but we
have met. Look more closely. See me.”
For some reason, Reed obeyed Crazy Naked Guy’s command. He took in the
man’s strong face with its square, black-stubbled jaw, a blade of a nose, and
surprisingly soft, full lips. Nope, not looking familiar. Then he met the dark green eyes
again. The man tilted his head and looked at him, hopeful. Those eyes. I know those
eyes.
A lock of overlong black hair fell down over one eye, and Reed suddenly knew.
The rational part of him insisted he must be crazier than the naked guy to be
thinking what he was thinking, but in his heart he knew.
Testing his knowledge, he blurted, “You’re him. You’re the wolf.”
The slow smile he received in return made him feel warm inside. I don’t care if
I
am crazy. His smile is worth it.
“I wasn’t sure you’d believe me.” The smile faded. “You’re not afraid of me,
are you?”
Reed considered. “No. If you had wanted to hurt me, you could have hurt me
last night. I am a little confused, though.”
His formerly furry friend’s face lightened with relief. “About what?”
“Pretty much everything.”
The man laughed. “That’s understandable. Ask me whatever you want to.”
Reed had so many questions he almost couldn’t decide where to start. His
gaze kept straying to his companion’s body, which didn’t help. Jerking his eyes
away, he tried to find something else to look at. “Could you put on some clothes
first? You’re kind of distracting me here.”
Laughing again, the man stood and went to the back of the cave. Reed
couldn’t help admiring his mysterious companion’s broad shoulders, trim waist, and
tight, muscular ass as the man picked up some neatly piled clothing and began to
dress. He turned around when he finished dressing, smirking when he caught Reed
staring.
Blushing, Reed turned his gaze to the floor of the cave. “So, um, you’re a
werewolf?”
The man remained on the other side of the cave, clearly trying not to scare
Reed. “Yes.”
Reed had never come up against a situation so far beyond his experience
before. Part of him still couldn’t believe he was even entertaining the notion of this
man being a werewolf, but the other part of him went on as if everything was
normal. Curiosity rose up in a wave, displacing the fear he’d felt only minutes before.
“How did you become a werewolf? Were you bitten by a wolf?”
He got another deep, rich laugh before the other man answered. “No.
Werewolves are born, not made. You can’t be turned by being bitten, although I’m
sure it would be fun to try.”
Okay…Is he flirting with me? No, can’t be. There’s no way someone who looks like
him would flirt with someone who looks like me. He’s seen my scars.
To cover up his
sudden discomfort, Reed asked another question. “Can you turn into a wolf
whenever you want to? The moon wasn’t full last night.”
“The full moon thing is another myth. We can shift at any time, day or night.”
“Wow. That’s cool.” Reed contemplated the idea of being able to turn into a
wolf for a moment before suddenly remembering his manners. “Oh, shit! I never
introduced myself!”
He walked to the back of the cave and held out his hand, still clutching the
blanket with the other. “I’m Reed Emerson.”
The man grasped his outstretched hand, shaking firmly. “Hello, Reed. I’m
Ethan Amhurst.”
To Reed’s surprise, Ethan didn’t let go of his hand right away. They stood
there staring at each other for a long, tense moment. Even covered by a long-sleeved
black t-shirt and jeans, the beauty of Ethan’s body was obvious. Reed felt all the more
self-conscious about his own slender, scarred form, especially since the only thing
covering him was a blanket.
His face heating for the second time in only a few minutes, he extracted his
hand and went back to his questioning. “I know why I was out in the woods, but
how come you were out there?”
Ethan shrugged. “I own several hundred acres of woods out here. You
happened to be on my property, so I came to see who was trespassing.”
“Oh, sorry. I was hiking, and somehow I got lost. I’m pretty sure I followed
the trail markers, though. I guess I wasn’t paying attention.”
“It’s no problem. If you hadn’t been on my property I would never have met
you.”
Nervous, Reed shuffled his feet on the cave floor like a little kid. He’s not
flirting with me.
“Let me get dressed really quick and if you’ll point me in the right
direction I’ll get off your property.”
Ethan stepped closer, his voice going husky. “You don’t have to get dressed
on my account.”
Okay, that definitely sounds like flirting.
Flustered, Reed started stammering
whatever came to mind. “Yeah, I do. You’re dressed, and I can’t walk back to the
lodge like this. I’d be really cold, and people would think I was crazy.”
By the time he managed to stop his babbling, Ethan stood only a couple of feet
away. Their eyes met, Ethan’s soft and almost wistful. “Do you have to go back to the
lodge right now?”
Distracted and mesmerized by those beautiful green eyes, Reed nearly forgot
the question. He had to force himself to think about what Ethan had said. Once he
started thinking, however, he wondered why on earth the other man would care if he
had to go.
Maybe he has other plans this morning and doesn’t have time to lead me back.
The
thought disappointed him. He’d hoped to have Ethan’s company on the way to the
lodge.
Trying to sound nonchalant, he turned toward his drying clothing. “I don’t
know. Why?”
“Because I hoped you’d stay here with me for just a little while longer.”
The honesty in the other man’s voice got to him. A combination of hope and
fear burned in his chest. The insecurity he’d built up over the past few months made
believing Ethan might actually be attracted to him difficult. He took a deep breath
and turned back toward Ethan. “Why did you show yourself to me? You could have
stayed a wolf, and I would have never suspected a thing.”
Ethan closed the distance between them, only stopping when they were
within an arm’s reach of each other. Close enough to touch. “From the first moment I
saw you, I thought you were beautiful. Then when you spoke to me and touched me,
I knew I had to talk to you. Something told me you were special, that maybe you’d
understand. Maybe we could spend some time together, at least for a little while.”
Loneliness, aching and raw, suffused Ethan’s voice.
Reed understood loneliness. Despite his family’s love and support, he’d been
lonely ever since his friends had begun to desert him after the accident. He’d felt
even more abandoned when Dillon had turned away from him in disgust. He
couldn’t really understand how someone who looked like Ethan could be lonely, but
maybe it was the werewolf thing. I guess opening up to someone is hard when you never
know if anyone you meet will be scared or disgusted when they find out who you really are.
He opened up to me, though.
Why Ethan had chosen him was a mystery, but he wasn’t
about to question his good fortune. Even if the man had to be delusional, calling
Reed beautiful.
Decision made, Reed reached out with his free hand and touched Ethan’s arm.
“I can stay for a while. It’s not like I have anyone waiting on me or anything.”
Chapter Five
Ethan shivered at the feel of Reed’s hand on his arm. The wolf in him wanted
to pounce, but he tamped down the urge. Reed had only agreed to stay for a while,
not let Ethan fuck his brains out. No matter how good the idea seemed, he needed to
wait until he could be sure what Reed wanted.
To distract himself, he looked around the cave. “I’ve got some extra clothes in
here, I think. They’d be really big on you, but you won’t be so cold.”
Reed smiled, and for a moment Ethan’s brain short-circuited. He really is
beautiful. I can’t believe he doesn’t know.
“Yeah, warm clothes would be nice.”
Busy staring, Ethan took a moment to register Reed’s words. “Okay. I’ll find
something for you.” He went to the back of the cave and began to search for the
clothing.
“Do you use this cave a lot?”
Finding a long-sleeved flannel shirt and t-shirt, Ethan returned to the front of
the cave. “No, not really, but I like to have clothes in here just in case. If I need to
shift, I can’t just walk around naked.”
“Too bad,” Reed murmured under his breath.
If Ethan hadn’t had enhanced werewolf hearing, he probably wouldn’t have
heard Reed’s comment. Ducking his head to hide his grin, he handed the clothing to
Reed. “Here you go.”
“Thanks.” Reed took the clothes, making no effort to put them on. Instead, he
stood there shuffling his feet uncertainly.
Either he’s too shy to dress in front of me, or he doesn’t really want to get dressed at
all.
Taking Reed’s reluctance as a sign of the latter, Ethan moved closer to him.
“Either I’m overdressed, or you’re underdressed.” Gently gripping the folds of the
blanket his slim companion still clutched around him, he drew him forward. “What
should we do about that?”
Their eyes met. Reed’s were filled with a mixture of anxiety and desire. “I-I
don’t know.”
“How about this?” Giving Reed plenty of time to move away, Ethan leaned
forward. When Reed didn’t move a muscle, he closed the distance between them,
brushing his lips against Reed’s.
Those sweet, soft lips parted on a sigh, and he quickly took advantage. He
slipped his tongue into Reed’s mouth, tracing the sensitive inner tissues. At first
Reed only stood there, accepting his kiss passively.
Finally, Reed brought his free hand up to clasp the back of Ethan’s neck,
drawing them still closer. In a burst of passion, Reed began to kiss him back. The
feeling of a slick tongue stroking along his own made keeping his control difficult,
but he was still determined not to push Reed farther than the man wanted to go.
Because of that determination, he kept his hands in between them, holding the
blanket. The claw-like grip Reed had held on the blanket suddenly went slack,
leaving Ethan holding the fabric up. Startled, he let go.
The blanket slithered down Reed’s body to puddle on the floor at his feet, and
Ethan found himself with a dilemma. He ached to touch, but he couldn’t be sure his
touch would be welcomed. Maybe Reed hadn’t meant to let the blanket go.
Uncertain, not wanting to push, he stilled.
Stiffening, Reed pulled away. His face reddened, and his shoulders hunched
as if he wanted to disappear. “I’m sorry.”
“Hey.” Ethan reached out and tipped Reed’s chin up. “There’s nothing to be
sorry for. I just didn’t want to push you farther than you were willing to go.”
Although his blush didn’t disappear, Reed met Ethan’s eyes. “I thought you
might be disgusted. You know, by my scars.”
“I saw them last night, remember?” Ethan gently trailed a finger along the
mass of twisted, reddened skin, making Reed shiver. “Your scars aren’t disgusting to
me. They only make you more desirable.”
Reed crossed his arms, eyeing him skeptically. “Yeah, right. They’re ugly. You
don’t have to lie to get into my pants, Ethan. I’m not even wearing pants.”
Biting back a laugh at Reed’s sarcastic comment, he continued to smooth his
hand over the marks. “I’m not like your ex. To humans, scars are blemishes, marring
perfection, but werewolves see them differently. To us, scars are a sign of strength.
The worse the scar, the stronger the wearer must be to have survived.”
For a moment he feared he’d upset Reed even more, because those blue eyes
looked rather teary, but then he got a smile. Slim shoulders squaring, Reed stood
proudly. “I like that. I am strong. Stronger than I was when all I had to do was stand
around and look pretty for pictures. I may not be perfect anymore, but I like myself
better now.”
“I like you too.” Unable to restrain himself when faced with Reed’s sexy
newfound confidence, Ethan pulled him in for another kiss. This time he got an
immediate response. Reed melted into him, slipping his hands up underneath
Ethan’s t-shirt to caress his back.
Whimpering at the contact, Ethan drew away just long enough to yank off his
shirt before continuing the kiss. Reed clearly took the action as the invitation it was
intended to be, because his hands began to roam all over Ethan’s exposed skin.
Barely able to bite back a moan, Ethan kissed his way down the left side of
Reed’s neck. Shivering, Reed tilted his head to give him better access. He licked and
nibbled at Reed’s collarbone, making him laugh.
“Ethan! That tickles.”
Any other words Reed might have said were cut off by a gasp when Ethan’s
lips closed over his nipple. He stroked over the tiny bud with his tongue, watching it
tighten. He then repeated the same treatment on the other one, until Reed began to
squirm impatiently.
He added a little nip of rebuke. “Patience.”
The breathless laugh he got in response made him smile, but he didn’t let it
distract him from his mission. Lowering himself to his knees, he kissed the top edge
of Reed’s scars, not letting him shy away even though Ethan knew he really wanted
to. Slowly, gently, he caressed the mass of scar tissue with his fingers and lips.
“You are beautiful,” he whispered, looking up and meeting those gorgeous
blue eyes. “Every part of you is beautiful.”
Reed touched his face, seeming beyond words. His eyes, though, were full of
emotion.
Holding their eye contact, Ethan leaned forward and took Reed’s straining
erection into his mouth, savoring the taste and smell of his lover. More than
anything, he wanted to make this perfect. He sucked strongly, bringing a hand up to
stroke the soft skin of Reed’s sac.
Eyes closing in bliss, Reed moaned and arched toward him. He drew off a bit,
tracing his tongue along the shaft and around the head a few times before taking the
whole thing in again. When Reed began to thrust toward him slightly, Ethan gripped
his hips and encouraged him to take what he needed. The thrusts became deeper,
and Ethan opened his throat, welcoming him in.
Finally, with a ragged cry, Reed let go. Warm, salty fluid flooded Ethan’s
mouth, and he swallowed every drop eagerly, wanting this taste of his lover’s
essence, his outpouring of emotion.
At last he sat back on his heels. Reed looked down at him, sated and happy.
“Wow. That was—there aren’t any words. Thank you.”
He only smiled. Reed was right, there weren’t any words. Even if the moment
had ended right then, he would have gone away happy.
Extending one slim hand to him, Reed added, “I don’t think we’re finished
yet, though.”
Chapter Six
Clasping Ethan’s strong hand in his, Reed picked up the blanket and led him
to the spot where they’d spent last night. Together, they spread the blanket on the
floor. Before he could sit, though, Ethan stopped him.
“Wait.” Ethan turned and went to the back of the cave, returning a few
moments later, smiling almost shyly. “I want this to be good for you.”
Touched, he took the condom and the little packet of lube. He’d been
prepared to make do, but this would be much nicer. “It will be, because I’m with
you.”
A flare of heat in Ethan’s eyes was the only warning he got before their lips
were sealed together in a passionate kiss. Ethan lowered him onto the blanket
carefully, never breaking contact.
Threading his fingers through Ethan’s soft, silky black hair, he twined their
tongues together. Need built all over again, and he found himself hardening for the
second time that morning. Moaning, he arched against Ethan, surprised for a
moment when he rubbed against denim rather than skin. In his haste, he’d forgotten
Ethan still wore jeans. They would have to go.
The button and zipper gave way easily to his determined hands. Reed shoved
the material over Ethan’s ass, grateful he hadn’t seen fit to put on underwear. An
impatient Ethan pushed the pants down the rest of the way and kicked them off,
leaving nothing but smooth, bare skin.
A strangled whimper escaped Ethan’s lips as Reed’s hand closed over his
erection. The thick, uncut cock jumped in his hands, filling him with a sense of
seductive power. I did this. Me! Scars and all.
Stroking slowly, Reed broke the kiss and brought his lips to Ethan’s ear. “Will
you fuck me?”
Ethan shuddered at his words, drawing back until their gazes met. His deep
green eyes blazed with desire and something more. “No, but I’ll make love to you.”
Once again Ethan had stolen his words, but it was okay. None seemed to be
needed. They moved together as if they’d done this a hundred times before. Tearing
open the little packet of lube, he handed it over. Ethan’s large hands moved over him
tenderly, stroking, teasing, and finally opening him up with slicked fingers. It had
been so long that even one of Ethan’s fingers was enough to stretch a bit, making him
grateful for the lubrication. Two gave him the familiar, delicious burn he hadn’t felt
in what seemed like forever, and he couldn’t help pushing back against Ethan’s
hand. One fingertip scraped over his prostate and he hissed at the sheer pleasure of
it.
Trying to distract himself from the exquisite feeling of fingers inside him, he
opened the condom and rolled the thin latex down Ethan’s thick cock. A sudden
desire to drive the other man to the brink rose, and he gripped the sheathed erection,
stroking firmly. Ethan made a low, rumbling sound of pleasure and removed his
fingers from Reed’s ass.
His whimper of protest was silenced when he felt the head of Ethan’s cock at
his entrance. Slowly, Ethan pressed forward, past the first ring of muscle. The almost
uncomfortable pressure eased as Ethan finally stopped, buried to the hilt inside him.
A moment passed while Ethan let him acclimate to the feeling of fullness.
Then he began to thrust, and Reed stopped thinking. All he could do was lay back
and feel the incredible friction, the connection, the spark of heat he felt each time that
spot inside him was hit by the firm thrusts.
“Ethan, God, please, oh.” He heard himself whimpering and begging, but
even he didn’t know what he begged for.
Apparently Ethan did, because he lifted Reed slightly and began to thrust
harder. The new angle allowed for deeper penetration, setting off a whole new burst
of sensation. Helpless under the onslaught of pleasure, he grabbed Ethan’s arms and
held on tight.
Face tightening into an almost pained expression, Ethan reached down and
gripped Reed’s painfully hard cock. “Come for me, Reed.”
The simple words were all he needed. Arching, Ethan’s name on his lips, Reed
came in a gush of pleasure so intense it almost hurt. A few hard thrusts later, Ethan
came as well, gasping Reed’s name.
He fell back to the blanket, drained. A moment later, Ethan rolled to the side
and collapsed next to him, breathing hard. Silence reigned. Reed wanted to say
something to express how incredible Ethan had made him feel, but he wasn’t sure
what. Instead, he lifted Ethan’s hand to his lips and kissed it. With a soft smile, Ethan
drew him into his arms and pulled the edge of the blanket over them.
Tired and content, Reed snuggled into the warm body beside him and relaxed.
Chapter Seven
Heart full, Ethan watched Reed doze. Though he’d had other lovers over the
years—humans and a couple of weres—he’d never felt such a connection to another
person. The way Reed responded to him, so open and giving, seeming to anticipate
his desires, had been incredible. He’d only known the man a handful of hours, and
already he felt so much more than simple desire. Protectiveness, admiration, and an
unexpectedly deep caring welled up as he stared at his lover’s sleeping face.
How can I let him go?
Gently, he traced the scar on Reed’s left temple. With a soft sigh, Reed turned
toward his hand, nuzzling against him in his sleep. The sweetness of the moment
nearly broke his heart, especially since he knew that shortly he’d be leading Reed
back to civilization.
This is the way it has to be. He came here to celebrate healing physically, and I helped
him heal emotionally. Trying to keep him with me would be wrong. He needs to get out there
and test his wings.
Smiling despite the sadness he felt, he closed his eyes and drew Reed closer.
The smaller man fit perfectly against him. Later, he’d awaken Reed and lead him
back to where he’d come from, but not right now. Just for a little while, he could
pretend.
* * * * *
Less than an hour later, Ethan awoke from the half-sleep he’d fallen into. Reed
still slept contentedly. Though he hated to wake him, he knew people would
definitely be out searching by now.
“Wake up, sleepyhead.” He gave Reed a gentle nudge.
Blue eyes blinked up at him drowsily. “Did I fall asleep?”
“Yes, but now we’ve got to get up. I’m sure there are people out looking for
you.”
Eyes widening, Reed sat up. “Oh, yeah. I almost forgot. I can’t let them
wander around worrying about me.”
Ethan stood and began gathering their clothing. Reed’s things from the
previous night were still damp, but he’d have to wear the jeans at least. Any pants
Ethan could find for him would be so big he’d be tripping over them. “Get dressed.
You can wear my shirt, because yours is awfully wet.”
Grimacing, Reed pulled on his damp jeans without bothering with underwear
and sat on the blanket to lace up his boots. Lastly, he put on the t-shirt and flannel
shirt Ethan had given him, snickering when he saw how oversized they were. Ethan
hid a smile, quickly yanking on his own clothing. When he finished, he packed the
rest of Reed’s clothing and supplies into his backpack.
“Is this everything?” Reed looked around the cave wistfully and sighed, then
took the backpack and put it on.
Unwilling to delay the inevitable any longer, Ethan nodded. “Yeah, I think so.
Let’s go.”
They left the cave together, Ethan leading the way. Unlike the previous
evening, the weather was clear. The air still felt cold, but the sun shone brightly,
which seemed wrong somehow when he felt so gloomy.
At first Reed seemed to want to talk. After several of his questions were
answered in monosyllables, however, he subsided. Stealing a glance at his quiet
companion, Ethan noticed how confused and unhappy he looked. He wanted to say
something to make Reed smile again, but instead he reminded himself this was for
the best. I have to let him go. A strained silence enveloped them.
Relief and sorrow mingled when, about thirty minutes later, Ethan heard the
distant sounds of searchers. Turning to Reed, he forced a smile. “We’re almost
there.”
Reed’s solemn, unenthusiastic blue eyes met his. “Great.”
They continued to walk for a few more minutes. Because he didn’t want to
meet the rescuers and have to make explanations, Ethan stopped at the top of a hill.
“If you keep going straight for a little bit longer, you’ll meet the main trail.”
“Okay. Thanks. For everything.” Mixed emotions clouding his face, Reed
turned to go.
I can’t let him go this way.
Before he even knew what he was going to do, he
touched Reed’s shoulder. “Wait.”
Not looking at him, the younger man muttered, “Why? I get the impression
you want to be rid of me as quickly as possible.”
Gently, he moved Reed to face him. “That’s not true, and I’m sorry I let you
think that. I’ve enjoyed every second we’ve spent together.”
Puzzled, hurt, Reed stared at him. “Then why have you been so cold this
whole time? I thought we were wonderful together, but when you started acting like
you have been…”
Giving in to temptation, he cupped Reed’s cheek in his hand. “I know. I’m
sorry. I had my reasons.”
“What reasons?”
Those sad blue eyes chipped away at his resolve. He struggled to find the
words to explain his feelings. “There’s something inside you, Reed, something strong
and beautiful that’s been trying to get out. This trip is only a beginning for you.
You’ll celebrate surviving a terrible event, put it behind you, and go on to the
wonderful new life you deserve.”
When Reed tried to speak, he silenced him with a soft kiss. Though he wanted
to sink into his soon-to-be former lover’s lips, he kept the contact brief. “Go. Live. Be
happy.”
Not wanting to show his sadness, he fled into the forest.
Hours later, worn out from spending the whole day running hard in wolf
form, he returned to his cabin. The exertion should have made it easier for him not to
think. Still, as he sat in front of the fireplace, watching the flickering flames, all he
could see was Reed.
Chapter Eight
Just as Ethan had promised, Reed came to the main trail after only a few
minutes of walking in the same direction they’d been headed. A mixture of gratitude
and sorrow filled him when he saw the familiar path.
“Reed! Reed Emerson!” A loud, insistent voice yelled his name.
The searchers.
“I’m here,” he called back. “I’m here, on the trail.”
The sound of footsteps coming through the sodden leaves heralded the arrival
of one of the rescuers. Not long afterward, a tall park ranger in his mid-to-late forties
approached. “Reed Emerson?”
“Yes, I’m Reed.”
Relief flitted across the man’s weathered features. “Are you all right, son?
Mrs. Stevens at the lodge was real worried about you.”
He smiled slightly. The grandmotherly Mrs. Stevens had adopted him right
when he’d arrived, saying he was too thin and fussing over him. “I’m fine. I was cold
and scared for a while, but I found a cave to hole up in.”
“Glad to hear it. Let me call in that I’ve found you so the rest of the search
party knows, and then we’ll get you back to the lodge.” Putting his words to action,
the ranger used a walkie-talkie to alert the rest of the search party. When he finished,
he asked, “How’s your leg? Can you make it back to the lodge?”
Reed looked down in surprise. He hadn’t even realized he was limping until
the ranger mentioned it. Adrenaline and emotion must have masked the pain. “Yeah,
I’m okay to walk.”
* * * * *
Two hours later, Reed was ensconced in the main room of the lodge in front of
a roaring fire. The instant he’d walked in the door, Mrs. Stevens had shuffled him off
to a hot shower. Upon his emergence, dressed in sweatpants, a t-shirt, and Ethan’s
flannel shirt, she’d hustled him into the main room and brought him soup and a
sandwich. After he’d finished them, she’d brought cookies and milk.
Mrs. Stevens’ fussing over him, while irritating, had at least kept him from
thinking too much. Now that she’d finally left him alone, all he could think about
was Ethan. Every moment of last night replayed in his mind in vivid detail. He
shivered at the recollection. No one had made him feel that way before—both
desired and cared for, as if he were the most important thing in the world. And the
things he said when he touched my scars. Telling me I was beautiful, like he meant it. Telling
me I was strong.
Ethan had meant the things he said. Deep in his heart, Reed believed
Ethan had meant them.
Looking back, he could almost tell himself the past twenty-four hours had
been a bizarre dream. He’d somehow wandered off the trail, gotten lost, been cold
and scared, and been rescued by a wolf. Having the wolf turn out to be a werewolf, a
sexy, kind werewolf who made love like no one he’d ever met, only made the whole
thing seem more unbelievable.
It happened, though. All of it. Even if all I have are memories. And the shirt he gave
me.
Bringing a bit of the soft, oversized flannel shirt to his nose, he inhaled deeply.
The material smelled like Ethan. Somewhat comforted, he pulled the shirt tighter
around him and closed his eyes, hoping to dream of werewolves.
* * * * *
The next morning, Reed awoke curled in the chair, an afghan thrown over
him. Mrs. Stevens must have come in to check on him before going to bed and
decided not to wake him.
Bright sunshine streamed through the window, and the scent of bacon wafted
in from the kitchen. With a yawn and a stretch, he climbed awkwardly out of the
armchair. His leg ached this morning, probably from the strain of all the walking
he’d done the past couple of days.
Limping, he went in to breakfast. All the other guests were happy to see him
back, and they peppered him with questions and well-meaning concern during the
meal. After eating, he retreated to his room to be alone for a while.
Over the next few days, Reed took short, leisurely walks around the area near
the lodge. One day, he learned to shoot a bow, which he turned out to be good at.
When his leg grew tired, he read in front of the fireplace or played cards with other
guests. He laughed and talked, and in general acted as if his life hadn’t been
completely changed. Ethan was never far from his thoughts, though. The only thing
that kept him from trying to find the man was Ethan’s final words to him: “Go. Live.
Be happy.”
Despite their incredible connection, Ethan hadn’t wanted him to stay. He
refused to dwell on how easily the man had let him go, however. Instead, he’d take
his memories and try to do as Ethan had told him.
Chapter Nine
The day Reed arrived home, his mother called. Having been out of town
during his celebratory trip, she had only just heard about his night in the woods.
Though he hated to keep secrets from her, he downplayed the whole incident, saying
he’d found a cave. He didn’t mention the wolf, or Ethan. It took a lot of talking, but
finally he managed to convince her that his unexpected detour hadn’t been a big
deal.
A few days later, Reed went back to work. Most people probably wouldn’t
have thought his job was very important, but to him it was. The accident had left him
at loose ends, with plenty of money saved from his modeling career and the
settlement he’d received from the other driver’s insurance but nothing to do. When
he’d finished the months of rehab, he’d wanted a job. Needed a job, really—anything
to keep his mind off how radically his life had changed.
One day, his mom had casually mentioned that the local newspaper needed a
fashion columnist for their lifestyle section. After spending the past six years
working in the industry, he’d figured he knew enough about the subject to do a
column. The editor had agreed and given him the job. Now he did the weekly
fashion column as well as occasional reporting on local events, and he truly enjoyed
the work.
Two weeks after he returned, the editor jokingly asked him if he was angling
for a real reporter position. He laughed it off, but he knew what the man meant. He’d
been spending more time at work than usual, researching, interviewing, and revising
columns that were already good, all to keep himself too busy to think.
When he wasn’t at work, Reed began doing things he hadn’t done since the
accident. Several nights he went out clubbing with friends. He hadn’t wanted to go
for months because of the awkwardness his bad leg caused when he danced, but
when he got out there he had fun and didn’t worry about what others would think.
To his surprise, his newfound confidence attracted quite a bit of attention. If he’d
wanted to, he could have gotten more than a few phone numbers or gone home with
any of several interested men. Rather than taking anyone up on their offers, however,
he went home alone.
Almost every night, alone in his bed, he thought about Ethan. At first he’d
been sad, and then angry about how easy it had been for Ethan to tell him to go.
Several weeks of distance had given him more perspective, however. Thinking back
on Ethan’s behavior when he left, the man had seemed reluctant to see him go. The
last kiss Ethan had given him had held a great deal of masked emotion, as had the
words he’d said. “There’s something inside you, Reed, something strong and beautiful
that’s been trying to get out.”
After a great deal of reflection, Reed had come to a realization. Ethan had
spoken about the trip being just a beginning for him and told him to go not because
that was what he wanted, but because it was what he wanted for Reed. Ethan let me
go because he thought it was what I needed. He wanted me to be happy.
Too bad the
stubborn man hadn’t understood Reed would be happiest with him.
Sure, he enjoyed going out to clubs and having guys interested in him again.
He liked being more confident and not worrying about what people thought of him
anymore. Through it all, though, he missed Ethan. Despite their short acquaintance,
he had truly come to care about the man, and he believed Ethan had felt the same
way. Deep down, he knew he wouldn’t really be happy until he saw Ethan again. He
just wasn’t sure what to do about it, especially since he wasn’t sure Ethan would
want to see him.
* * * * *
The answer came from a surprising source nearly a month after he’d come
home from his vacation. The day passed in perfectly normal fashion. Work took up
much of his day, and he returned home at around five p.m. Not feeling like cooking
or going out, he ordered pizza.
The doorbell rang only a few minutes later, just as he started the movie he’d
rented. Stopping the DVD player, he went to answer the door.
His visitor wasn’t the pizza man. Instead, Dillon stood on his doorstep. “Hey,
Reed.”
Months ago he would have collapsed in a heap at his ex’s feet, begging to be
taken back. Now he only felt surprise and a mild curiosity. “Hello, Dillon. What do
you want?”
A repentant smile on his face, Dillon asked, “Can’t a guy come and see an old
friend?”
Rolling his eyes, he repeated his question. “What do you want?”
Dillon shuffled his feet. “I’ve missed you these past few months. I saw you at
the club last week, and it got me thinking about how good things used to be between
us.”
Unable to help himself, Reed laughed. “You mean before you started cheating
on me and told me you couldn’t stand to look at me?”
“Come on, Reed. That’s not fair. You’d been too hurt to have sex for months,
and I was lonely. Your scars were more than I was expecting, that’s all.”
It was hard to believe he’d ever thought he loved this selfish, immature
person. “If you’d really cared about me, you would have waited for me. The scars
wouldn’t have mattered.”
Frowning, Dillon stared at him. “Well, I’m willing to overlook them now.”
He almost felt sad for his ex. Dillon didn’t even know what love was. “If you
loved me, you wouldn’t have to overlook them, because they’re part of me.”
Expression incredulous, Dillon snapped, “What fairy tale are you living in?
I’m offering to take you back, scars and all. We can go right back to how we used to
be.”
“I don’t want to go back to how we used to be, Dillon. I’m not who I used to
be. I’m stronger now, and I don’t need you anymore.” With an apologetic smile, he
closed the door in his ex’s face.
At that moment, Reed realized something. Just as Ethan had told him, he was
strong. Strong enough to try for what he wanted, no matter the risk. Why was he
wasting time being lonely when what he really wanted to do was find out if what
he’d felt with Ethan was real? If Ethan rejected him, so be it. At least he would have
tried.
Sudden determination filled him, and he headed to his bedroom. He had some
planning and packing to do.
Chapter Ten
When night fell, Ethan went out to his back deck and stripped, letting the
change ripple through him. He’d been spending a lot of time in wolf form these past
few weeks, but he didn’t want to think about why. Instead, the moment his change
had finished he raced into the woods.
A cool night breeze ruffled his fur as he ran. The sounds and scents of the
forest were a balm, soothing him. Catching the scent of a rabbit, he gave chase. At the
last second he veered away, allowing the frightened creature to escape. Tonight the
thrill of the chase would be enough. The exhilaration helped keep his mind off his
loneliness.
In the month since Reed had left, Ethan had alternately cursed his own
stupidity and commended himself on his sacrifice. What had seemed obvious and
necessary the morning he’d led Reed back to the path and left him was now no
longer clear. Sometimes he couldn’t help but think he’d been the biggest fool ever to
have let Reed get away. Connections like the two of them had didn’t come every day.
The rest of the time Ethan hoped Reed was happy. If anyone deserved
happiness, he did. Letting out a long, mournful howl, Ethan ran deeper into the
woods.
* * * * *
He’d been running for nearly an hour when a familiar and enticing scent
made him stop. Sniffing the air, disbelieving even in this form, he crept slowly to the
edge of a clearing he hadn’t visited in a month.
There, in the center of the clearing, stood the very man he’d expected never to
see again.
In the bright moonlight, Ethan could easily see Reed’s smile.
“Hello, Ethan.”
Though every muscle in his body wanted to run to Reed, he didn’t. Instead, he
padded slowly out of the shelter of the trees, shifting when he stepped into the light.
Pretending a calm unconcern he was far from feeling, he asked, “Lost again?”
Reed’s eyes locked on his. “No. I think I’ve found what I was looking for.”
He sucked in a breath. Certain Reed couldn’t mean what he hoped, he looked
away. Everything he might have said scattered, and he didn’t know what to do.
Leaves rustled, but he continued to look away determinedly. Only when Reed
stopped right next to him, near enough for Ethan to feel his body heat, did he finally
give in to his urge to look his fill. Not surprisingly, Reed looked wonderful. His
appearance was the same as it had been a month ago, yet there was a difference. A
subtle confidence imbued his movements now, rather than the hesitance he’d shown
before.
Like the first time they’d met, Ethan found himself drawn like a moth to a
flame. Still, he was determined to hold on to the distance he’d been trying to gain for
a month. To that end, he remained motionless, even when the space between them
shrank to almost nothing.
All thoughts of distance fled, however, as Reed’s slim hand gripped his chin,
turning his face so their eyes met again. Startled by the assertive move, he didn’t
resist. He simply stared into those resolute blue eyes.
“I tried to do what you said.” Releasing Ethan’s chin, Reed gave him a wry
smile. “I went home, back to my life. I even let my friends drag me out to clubs a few
times, which I hadn’t done in months. It was actually fun.” He let out a little laugh. “I
was so surprised when I got hit on. Apparently you were right. I just needed
confidence.”
Stifling the urge to growl at the thought of Reed being hit on by men in a club,
Ethan faked on a smile. “I’m glad I could help.”
“You did. You helped a lot. But that’s not why I’m here.” Though he was
clearly getting nervous, Reed continued, “I’m here to prove to myself that I really am
strong. Strong enough to fight for what I want.”
The implications of that statement left Ethan reeling. He’d thought sending
Reed away was the best thing for him, and he’d resigned himself to letting him go.
Now, it seemed Reed didn’t want to be let go. Sure he couldn’t be hearing what he
thought he was, Ethan whispered, “What do you want?”
A slow, sexy smile curled the corners of Reed’s lips. He arched a brow, as if
the answer should be obvious. “You.”
This was exactly what he wanted, but he wasn’t sure he deserved it. Making
love to Reed hadn’t been a selfless act. Could he really be this lucky?
When Ethan didn’t speak, the other man didn’t back down. Instead, Reed
leaned up and kissed him.
The instant their lips touched, he was lost. He took Reed’s mouth with all the
pent-up passion of a month spent dreaming of him. Reed’s response, all eager tongue
and lips, drove him wild. He deepened the kiss, relearning the sweet-spicy taste that
was uniquely Reed.
In another surprising move, Reed drew back from the kiss and ran his hands
up Ethan’s chest. “I want you. Right now.”
Unable to resist teasing a bit, he played dumb. “I’m right here.”
A wicked gleam in his eye, Reed leaned up to whisper in Ethan’s ear, brushing
his lips against it. “I want you in me right now.”
Reed’s words nearly brought him to his knees. “Yes,” he breathed.
Laughing softly at his stunned stare, Reed began to peel off his clothing. Ethan
watched avidly as a jacket, flannel shirt, and t-shirt dropped to the clearing floor,
leaving him in only a pair of jeans and his boots. With a grin, Reed struck a modeling
pose.
Unable to wait a second longer to touch, he reached out and grabbed a couple
of belt loops. In an instant he had an armful of warm, half-naked man. “Stop
teasing.”
That got him another laugh. “It’s not teasing if I put out.”
He had to laugh too, but quickly sobered and got down to business.
Unfastening Reed’s jeans, he slipped his hand inside. Reed whimpered, head falling
back as Ethan stroked the rock-hard erection he found there.
“Ethan. Please.”
Impatient to feel naked skin against his own, he pushed Reed’s jeans and
underwear down in one quick motion. When he stood, he drew Reed into his arms
and kissed him again. Any intention he may have had of drawing the moment out
was lost as Reed pressed against him.
“God, Reed,” he choked out, desire nearly overwhelming him.
Reed’s desperate blue eyes met his. “Now. Please.”
There was no way he’d say no to those pleading eyes. A large fallen log
nearby gave him an idea. “There.”
Almost seeming to read his mind, Reed shuffled to the log—his legs were still
caught in his jeans and boots—and planted his palms on it. Then he threw a hot,
come-and-get-me look over his shoulder.
“You’re so fucking gorgeous.” Ethan took a moment to admire the sight in
front of him. Reed’s ass was truly a work of art. Even the man’s back was sexy.
Anticipation and an impossibly hard erection hurried him the few steps to Reed.
Then a soft growl escaped his lips as common sense reared its unwelcome
head. They couldn’t do this. He didn’t want Reed hurt. “We don’t have any—”
Reed cut him off. “Jacket pocket.”
A quick search of the pocket rewarded him with condoms and lube. He had to
laugh. “Confident much?”
Reed grinned back at him happily, his eyes gleaming. “Just hopeful.”
Everything in him wanted to rush, to claim his man as quickly as possible.
With effort, he managed to go slowly instead. Walking back to Reed, he leaned down
and pressed soft kisses along the line of his lover’s spine.
Reaching Reed’s ass, he nipped the right cheek. He soothed the abused spot
with his tongue, and Reed’s indignant yelp was smothered by a gasp.
Encouraged, he followed another gentle bite with a lick, and then another.
Each time he drew nearer to the place he sought. When Reed was nearly vibrating
with tension, he finally took what he wanted.
Spreading the cheeks of Reed’s ass, Ethan laved the tiny hole with his tongue.
Back arching, Reed cried out. “Ethan!”
The cry spurred him on. Each touch of his tongue drew gasps and moans of
agonized pleasure from Reed, who pushed back against him and clutched at the log
like a lifeline. Unable to get enough of the dark, musky taste of his lover, Ethan
spread him still more, spearing his tongue into Reed’s body.
“Oh God, oh God, Ethan…” Babbling cries soon dissolved into desperate
mewls of want.
Aching to sink himself into Reed and finally make the man his, he drew back
at last.
Chapter Eleven
Reed whimpered at the sudden emptiness as Ethan’s tongue left him. He
didn’t have much time to lament the loss, however, because moments later two slick
fingers probed at his entrance. All he could do was push back onto them, wordlessly
begging for more.
A crinkling sound came next, and then the fingers were gone, replaced by the
thick, hard cock he’d been craving for weeks. Ethan drove into him with a single
smooth motion. His nerves sparked with pleasure at the tiny bite of pain, followed
by exquisite fullness and friction.
Each thrust brought a new onslaught of ecstasy, but he felt as if Ethan were
holding back somehow. “Let go, Ethan. Let me have it all.”
“I don’t want to hurt you.”
“You won’t. I’m strong, remember?”
Letting out an almost pained moan, Ethan began to thrust harder and faster.
Every stroke pegged his prostate, keeping him right on the edge. The need to come
was overwhelming.
Just then, Ethan leaned over his back, pulling him up slightly. Still thrusting
forcefully, Ethan bit him right where his neck and shoulder met. Hard.
Despite the unexpected pain, or maybe because of it, Reed came. Wave after
wave of pleasure coursed through him, thick white fluid gushing onto his stomach
and the log. Lifting his head to the moon, he let out a howl of triumph.
Long moments passed as they both tried to catch their breath. At last, Ethan
laughed softly. “That was my line.”
He turned his head, smiling. “It just seemed appropriate.”
Ethan’s green eyes lit with amusement, and he leaned forward to kiss Reed
gently. When he drew back, he was still smiling. “It was kind of hot, actually.” Then
his eyes flickered to Reed’s shoulder, and he frowned. “Sorry about biting you. I
didn’t mean to get so rough.” He rubbed his hand over the place he’d bitten.
“I liked it,” Reed said honestly. He’d never thought being bitten was hot
before, but with Ethan it had been.
Still frowning, Ethan watched him. “You’re cold. Let’s get you dressed.”
Now that Ethan had pointed it out, he realized he was shivering. Ethan’s now-
spent cock slid from him, and he couldn’t help mourning the loss a little as Reed
went to gather up his clothes.
Standing, he stretched and pulled up his jeans and underwear. The t-shirt,
flannel, and jacket Ethan brought over went on next, and in no time he was fully
dressed. With his clothes on and their lovemaking over, an awkward shyness crept
over him. He’d proven he was strong enough to come here and seduce Ethan, and he
knew they were good together sexually, but he had no idea if Ethan would tell him
to leave again or want him to stay. His earlier self-confidence and aggressiveness
faded. The dead leaves on the ground were easier to look at than the man he’d been
naked with moments earlier.
“Hey.” Ethan tipped his chin up. “Come home with me?”
His answer meant a lot to Ethan—that much was clear. Looking into those
deep green eyes, he knew Ethan felt the same way he did. “I’d love to.”
The smile he got in response warmed his heart.
“I’ll have to shift to go home, because I’m not trudging through the woods
naked.” Ethan caught his hand and kissed it. “Will you follow me?”
Reed smiled at his wolf and spoke straight from his heart. “Anywhere.”
The End
Author Bio
By day, Cassandra is a (relatively) mild-mannered middle school teacher. At
night, she lets the characters in her head out to play as she writes erotic romance.
Unfortunately for her husband, neither of Cassandra’s personas enjoys doing
housework.
Visit Cassandra at www.cassandragold.com, or at her Yahoo Group:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/cassandra_gold