Intimate Whispers

Dee Carney

Whispers from the dead are every-
where…because their greatest desire is to be
heard.

Sabrina Turner has found only one way to
stop the curse she was born with—allow an
incubus to worship her body in exchange for
halting the voices drowning her sanity.

Every time she succumbs, it’s an act of des-
peration. Yet she’s not sure if she wants to be
rid of the bittersweet release.

All Jason Raines wants is to communicate
one last time with his deceased brother.

When he discovers his seductive neighbor
speaks to the dead, it’s another reason to get
close to her. The visions and cryptic dreams
Sabrina’s experiencing are messages for him,
he’s sure of it. Whatever her price, he’ll pay

3/432

it. When a reluctant Sabrina opens the door-
way to the other side, though, he discovers
the cost may be higher than he first thought.

Her urgent search for freedom…his crucial
need for absolution…a burning love between
them offers their only hope of salvation
from—intimate whispers.

Ellora’s Cave Publishing

www.ellorascave.com

Intimate Whispers

ISBN 9781419936210

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

4/432

Intimate Whispers Copyright © 2011 Dee
Carney

Edited by Grace Bradley

Cover design by Syneca

Model: Jasmine

Photography: Konrad Bak/Shutterstock.com

Electronic book publication October 2011

The terms Romantica® and Quickies® are
registered trademarks of Ellora’s Cave
Publishing.

With the exception of quotes used in reviews,
this book may not be reproduced or used in
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without written permission from the pub-
lisher, Ellora’s Cave Publishing, Inc.® 1056
Home Avenue, Akron OH 44310-3502.

5/432

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6/432

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INTIMATE WHISPERS

Dee Carney

Intimate Whispers

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Chapter One

The onslaught of noise inside almost
drowned the sounds of the city night outside,
which was still teeming with life. Taxis drove
by, honking horns. Pedestrians chattered as
they went about their business. Inside the
store, however, shoppers muttered to them-
selves while staring in horror at outrageous
prices. She’d know. She’d done the same un-
til about three minutes ago. As clamorous as
the combined sounds should have been, they
didn’t hold her attention.

Only a few minutes ago, the first voice star-
ted. It would soon bring more, as always.

Those hateful, incessant pleas that refused to
hear her. To understand she had no control
over the fact they were trapped. Earthbound
until some force, some god who sympathized
with their plights, released them. In the

beginning, she tried to get them to under-
stand. She spent hours pleading, days bar-
gaining, weeks begging. They refused to
listen, though. They focused on their abso-
lute insistence that she help them.

She couldn’t help them!

And that they were always behind her, each
voice like a tickle, still resulted in a start. One
minute she’d be standing there minding her
own business, and in the next, well, in the
next, someone spoke against her ear with the
closeness of a lover.

He promised to keep them away, and for a
little while, it worked, but never for long
enough. Never long enough, at all.

Help me.

She knew better than to respond to a voice
out loud, it always brought down more

9/432

trouble than she was prepared to handle. But
the insistence, the desperation behind their
cries… God, it got to her every time.

“I can’t help you,” she murmured with a furt-
ive glance at her surroundings. No one stood
in the current aisle with her. If she kept her
voice low enough, no one in the next aisle
over should be able to hear her hushed reply
either.

Find James.

A new voice. A woman this time. Her heart
clenched at the thought James might be a
long-lost son. Or maybe a true love the wo-
man had left behind.

Help me.

The original insistent voice spoke a little
louder this time. Always from behind. No
matter how many times she tried to catch a

10/432

glimpse of one of them, no matter how
quickly she whirled on her feet looking for all
the world like a maniac, feeling even crazier,
no one stood there. Never ever stood there.
Yet those damn disembodied voices carried
on the moment she stopped moving.

“Hey, lady.”

5

Dee Carney

That was a new one. Often they knew her
name. Calling her “lady” was simultaneously
a bad and a good thing.

“Yes?” she answered. Her voice remained
low, her senses on alert for someone who
might turn the corner and find her in the
midst of a conversation with herself.

Help me.

11/432

Or it sounded like “help me”. The voice had
taken on a ghostly quality, with almost an
echolike effect. Like more than one person
called to her now.

Help me.

Yes. At least two people. Maybe three.

She pulled her hair over her ears because
she’d been down this road one time too
many. She knew what came next. The voices
would multiply. The requests, the demands
would become more forceful. Always it began
like this. Always a single phrase that soon be-
came repeated by more than one of them.

“Lady, you need something? This ain’t no
parking lot.” Her heart thrummed steadily, a
low quiver of almost useless activity. If she
closed her eyes now, a wave of vertigo would
envelop her, but what other recourse did she
have? It helped a little when she did. And all

12/432

she needed was a little time. Just long
enough to walk the couple of blocks home.
Get back there and get help.

The din grew louder now and a heartbeat
that only seconds ago didn’t seem strong
enough to support life, pounded with such
force, her breath caught.

“Fucking crazies. Always gotta come in here
during my shift.” Help me… Find James…
Tell Mary… Our Father who art…

So many now. Too many to distinguish. She
needed to get home. She needed His help
now. Please, someone, help me get home.

Only the universe and whatever god ruled it
probably laughed at that prayer. No merciful
being would send her the kind of help she
needed when the voices grew in numbers like
that. No divine force would have cursed her
with this kind of torment to begin with.

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“Listen, either you buy something or you
gotta go.” Sabrina opened her eyes, gulping
down air with the hopes the bile threatening
to rise would stay down with it. A middle-
aged man wearing a worn polo shirt and
cheap Dockers knock offs stood in front of
her. He wore a mask of confusion and
irritation.

And those damn voices kept growing louder.
So loud, she had to focus on his lips to un-
derstand what he said. Something about
buying something?

She had groceries in her cart a few minutes
ago. She came down here for some cookies, a
box of cereal, a half gallon of milk and tooth-
paste. The latter item actually the object of
the two-block trek. So why didn’t he think
she was here to buy something? The items
lay right here in…the cart.

Where was the cart?

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6

Intimate Whispers

Sabrina whirled. This wasn’t the aisle she
was on. Shaking her head, she fought against
the thought. Obviously, this was the aisle in
which she stood. Only seconds ago, she stood
next to the pharmaceutical sundries. Bottles
of aspirin and cough syrups. One aisle over
from the mouthwash and tooth whiteners.

At what point had she moved to the aisle
where they stashed magazines and books?
The one with lines of chocolate bars and
cookies stocked richly enough to become the
nightmare of any parent with a wayward
child.

The store employee’s worn face looked as
haggard as she felt.

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“I…” She faltered. Maybe a dozen or so re-
quests from disembodied voices filled her
ears. Hard to hear herself think. She had to
get them to quiet down. Just for a little
while. Please. “Stop. Please.”

He frowned at her. “Stop?”

“No, not you.” Shaking her head didn’t help
at all. If she focused hard enough, between
reading his lips and pushing through the
crowd, she heard him a little. Did she have to
go through this every time? Every single god-
damn time?

But wait. She had to focus on the fact she’d
traveled across the store without realizing it.

“Lady, are you okay?”

Her eyebrows knitted against the noise. She
reached out for stability by putting her hand

16/432

on a nearby shelf, only to end up knocking a
few boxes onto the ground.

“Hey!”

“I can’t help you,” she offered to the voices.
They never listened, but maybe this time
they would. They had to. She couldn’t take
much more and if He didn’t want to help
now, she’d be hosed until He did. “Please go
away.”

“Go away?” The man reached forward and
grasped her arm. She knew this because the
voices scattered like flies fleeing hot garbage
after he touched her. They drifted in and out
of her hearing, a little disturbed perhaps by
his presence. “You come in here and loiter
for hours without buying something…”
Hours? Had she really been here hours? It’d
only been a little after five in the evening
when she ventured to the mart. What time
was it now?

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She glanced down at her watch and gasped.
Nine-forty.

The voices swooped in like vultures after
prey. If the man’s touch bothered them be-
fore, they retaliated with an excruciating
volume.

Had to get home now. Had to find Him. Beg
Him to help. She’d lost almost five hours
listening to the echoes of the dead and only
He could help her now.

My daughter… Richard needs… Help…
Where am I…?

“Please, I’m sorry.”

They grew louder. So many. Too many to
deal with. She had to get home.

Please God. Get her home.

7

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Dee Carney

Help me… Find Felice…

“I can’t help you!” she shrieked.

“That’s it, lady. If you don’t leave right now,
I’m calling the police.” She wanted to go
home so badly, but they crowded her. The
voices kept her immobilized. Blinded with
indecision, she reached out, sought his help.
Show her the door and she’d go home. She’d
find the way if he’d help.

The man backed away, his eyes wide. “You
get out of here now. Come back when you’re
ready to buy something.”

“Sabrina?”

Someone who knew her name?

Oh please. Help me.

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* * * * *

Jason came to a halt at the end of the aisle.
He thought he recognized his neighbor
standing several feet away with a store em-
ployee, so he stopped long enough to offer a
tentative wave.

Except she hadn’t noticed him. Kind of like
every other time they passed.

Beside him, Kelly asked, “Do you know her?”

He glanced at the petite blonde. “Yeah.”

Except he didn’t know her. Not really. He
knew her name simply because he’d tried to
do the neighborly thing when he first moved
in and introduced himself to the other three
tenants on the floor. Hers had been the last
stop. When the pixie-like woman with
amazing hazel-colored eyes looked up at
him, his concentration waned just a bit.

20/432

Observing those eyes next to smooth,
caramel-colored skin always resulted in a
double-take. Every single time.

Sabrina was stunning. Dark, wavy hair
framed her heart-shaped face. Her full lips
parted in an easy smile after he explained
why he was there. Not quite plump, but with
a little more meat on her bones than he nor-
mally preferred, something about her curves
made him wonder, just for an instant, what
her clothing might hide.

“Sabrina?” He sidled up to the store employ-
ee, shaking off irritation at the man’s aloof
and disgusted manner. He’d heard the ru-
mors about her, but with a brother who’d
had his own mental health problems, Jason
found the compassion he wished others had
shown Teddy. “Hey, remember me?”

She held something in trembling hands. A
package of food. If she had any recollection

21/432

of him right now, nothing in her wide-eyed,
blank expression reassured him.

“I can’t help.” She spoke with such sadness,
his heart clenched.

Taking a step closer, he asked, “Who can’t
you help?” 8

Intimate Whispers

He and Kelly were both dressed for dinner
and the theater. Kelly’s heels clicked against
the linoleum as she also moved closer. “Sab-
rina, I’m Kelly. Can we help you with
something instead?”

Jason studied her a little better and realized
something haunted Sabrina. The fear in her
eyes had nothing to do with the people
standing in front of her. There was real, per-
haps irrational, fear there.

22/432

So the rumors might have a ring of truth to
them after all.

She lifted her eyes, the motion reminiscent
of a silent prayer. They flittered closed a mo-
ment later. She shook her head from side to
side, dark tresses shifting with the move-
ment. The box of cereal slipped from her
hand, falling to the ground with a soft thud,
breaking the silence. When she opened her
eyes again, unshed tears filled them.

She looked directly at Jason and he thought
for a split second she might have recognized
him after all, but then the spark vanished. “I
want to go home.”

“Sure, Sabrina.” He glanced at Kelly, who
nodded. “I’ll take you home.” Saying those
words sounded incredibly right. But that
made no sense. He didn’t know his neighbor
from Adam. Their relationship thus far con-
sisted of tossing out pleasantries as they

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passed in the hall or elevator. On top of that,
he had dated Kelly within the past year and
like a man who planned on keeping his balls,
never once thought of glancing at the oppos-
ite sex while in her presence.

And face it, with his Wonder bread upbring-
ing, acknowledging even physical attraction
to a black woman never occurred to him. His
father would give birth to a dozen kittens if
he caught wind of it. Make that two dozen.

“I need him. Please.”

Jason gently took her elbow and started
guiding her forward. “Who? Your husband?”

Was she married? He didn’t think so. He’d
never seen her in the presence of a male.

Maybe a visiting father or a brother, though?

24/432

Welcome to the new America where no one
knew their neighbors. A hundred or so
strangers on the Internet, yes, but a person
would be considered odd knowing the name
of the person across the hall.

“He’ll help— I can’t help you!” She drew
back, startled. Tears that hadn’t fallen before
streamed down her face.

Jason reached for her again. “Whoa, Sabrina,
I’ve got you. You don’t need to help anyone.”

“Is this safe?” Kelly whispered as they started
moving forward as one. Behind them, he
heard the store clerk mumbling something
that sounded suspiciously like

“good riddance”. Bastard.

He nodded. He didn’t know for certain if she
suffered from paranoia or delusions or what,
but he would see her home. What someone

25/432

hadn’t been kind enough to do for Teddy,
he’d do for her.

9

Dee Carney

Sabrina trembled beneath his hand. When
he pulled her closer, wrapping around her in
a tight hug, she molded against him. A gentle
perfume, one he recognized from a high-end
department store he frequented, wafted up.
He focused on it, letting it be the target of his
attention instead of the incredible rightness
of her body folded against his during the cab
ride. What the hell was it about this woman
that sent his emotions on a joyride? He
didn’t know her. Yet Kelly, who often hinted
at reconciliation, sat on his opposite side and
almost might as well not have been there.

After they all exited, Kelly paid the driver as
he escorted Sabrina inside. She no longer

26/432

trembled and her tears had long-since dried.
Soft sounds, little whimpers, slipped through
her parted lips, but at least whatever
haunted her a few minutes ago appeared to
have eased its attack.

He tucked away a mental note to check up on
her again tomorrow, after the mysterious
“he” had helped. She never did answer his
questions, no matter how Jason phrased
them or how softly he spoke.

They stopped in front of her apartment, and
he heard Kelly’s muffled steps against the
carpeted floor as she hurried to catch up.
Keys jangled when Sabrina dropped them,
falling into a tidy heap. He scooped them up,
withdrew the one that looked similar to his
and inserted it into the lock. The tumbler
disengaged and with Sabrina still balanced in
his embrace, he managed to get the door
open.

27/432

Seeing the inside of her home was all she
needed. She lurched forward, leaving him
behind without a backward glance. “Hey,” he
called into the closing gap. “Are you going to
be all right?”

The door opened once again and he took the
opportunity to offer the keys still dangling in
his hand. Sabrina’s eyes brightened, but a
shadow crossed her face. Some breeze, some
chill in the air swept down his back at the
same moment she answered him.

“I’m no teddy bear.”

The words, the inflection, the tone…they
were all his dead brother’s. He’d know them
anywhere.

His heart pounded while his mind raced with
a million questions. How did she know that
admonition? She couldn’t have. Absolutely,
im-fucking-possible could she have repeated

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the same words his brother often threw at
him when they tousled as youngsters. But
the eerie way she said them, echoing her
brother down to the finest detail, only his
brother—only Teddy—would have said it like
that.

She closed the door before he had a chance
to stop her. The tremor in his hands, the
shock paralyzing his voice, kept him from
pounding on it and demanding she come
back and explain herself.

Jason clenched his jaw and fought the ver-
tigo gripping him. Several seconds passed
before he regained his senses and the ability
to walk away. Only Kelly’s presence promp-
ted him into doing so. Either way, leaving
now was definitely a temporary 10

Intimate Whispers

29/432

retreat. One way or a goddamn other, he
would find out more about Sabrina and what
she knew about his dead brother.

* * * * *

Sabrina stumbled to the bedroom and the
voices almost stopped altogether. They knew
better than to come this way. They dared not
show themselves when He was about to ar-
rive for a reason that barely made sense.
With this perfect silence, she could hear her-
self think, could maybe form a coherent sen-
tence too. She’d solve the mystery of how she
got home from the market some other time.
Or maybe not. Too often she found herself in
the sanctuary of her apartment with no
memory

of

her

travels.

Losing

time

happened more and more lately. She’d ask
Him about it, but they rarely talked
anymore.

30/432

Stripping, she walked to her place of com-
fort, pulling her shirt over her head and fum-
bling for her bra afterward. Her bared
breasts grew heavy, the nipples tightening
into buds in anticipation of what would
come. Removing her jeans took a little more
dexterity, but she had them and her ballet
flats off by the time she crossed the threshold
of her bedroom. Simple cotton panties hit
the floor before she crawled onto the four-
poster bed.

Blessed sanctuary this bed with its sky-blue
sheets and comforter. With the smell of fab-
ric softener that bloomed like a cloud the
moment she disturbed it. Three large pillows
lined the head, in repose against lavender
walls. It was a girl’s room—white lace run-
ning along the bed frame, matching, lacy
white curtains covering a single window.
Candles sat in neat rows along her bureau
while aromatherapy oil waited for the

31/432

bedside lamp to be turned on and heat it into
wakefulness.

In the middle sat the queen-sized bed. A bed
for rest. And for loving.

She knew all too well how He’d take her
when He arrived. She didn’t question that He
would. He had a sense for these desperate
times, almost to the point she wondered if
He didn’t orchestrate the attacks Himself.

Cool air passed over her sex after she got into
position. It touched the moisture pooled
between her thighs, and she almost groaned.
She didn’t want this, but at the same time
she so very, very did. He treated her well
most times, touching with the gentleness of a
true lover, loving her body with the expert
skill of a wanton lothario.

Most times.

32/432

If she touched herself right now, she’d come.
Her skin was flushed, her pulse thrumming
with anticipation. Cream ran down her
thighs, and her pussy clenched with unful-
filled need. He’d take care of her sexually, as
He always had, and she’d be rid of the voices
for a while. Not a bad price to pay, all in
all…assuming He came in a good mood.

It was those bad moods that she had to be
wary of. Dark moods that encouraged Him to
take out His frustrations against her. Some
anger that left her black and blue in the
morning and forced her to hide the bruises
beneath clothing. Offering a small 11

Dee Carney

prayer of neither thanks, nor quite gratitude,
but grudging acceptance that He at least kept
her sane for a few days longer.

33/432

She looked forward to their trysts. If anyone
knew about them, they might easily accuse
her of being twisted or some sort of glutton
for punishment. Fair trade if you asked her.
She got smoking-hot sex without the hassle
of a permanent boyfriend or husband
impinging on her independence while also
putting a temporary hiatus on her curse.
Win-win.

Breath held, she waited for the first sign of
His presence. Like the other voices, He ap-
proached from behind. Another disembodied
spirit never to be visualized and she wasn’t
so sure she wanted to see what He looked
like anyway. If His physical form repulsed
her, she couldn’t afford not to accept His at-
tention. The voices were her lot in life. So
was He.

She never questioned why He could make
himself corporeal while the other voices
couldn’t. She never asked why He wanted

34/432

sex, or for that matter, sex with her. His
voice rose above the rest one day, His offered
asylum and she grasped on for dear life.

These days, at least once, maybe twice a
week He came to her. In the beginning, she
expected Him nightly and He delivered. As
time passed His lust waned, her curse mel-
lowed. By now, her body knew His in a way
that should have been discomforting.

That she could masturbate to a fantasy of
Him on one of His nice days should have
been disturbing. But sex was sex, right? Who
cared if she never saw the face that got her
off? In her mind, He could be tall and hand-
some, maybe with dark, but tender eyes.

Maybe with a small growth of stubble on a
strong, cleft chin. Lips that had yet to touch
hers were firm, often demanding bruising
kisses.

35/432

Kind of the way she imagined her neighbor’s
kisses might be.

She sighed.

Yeah, the neighbor with the blonde girl-
friend. The guy who always waved when they
passed. Who was always kind. If she broke
down and got a real boyfriend one day, she’d
want someone sort of like him. He seemed
nice.

Something in the back of her mind tickled
around that thought. He was nice. Nice
enough to…

She couldn’t remember, but was certain he’d
done something nice for her recently.

Something beyond the call of duty. The de-
tails of it hovered just outside her recollec-
tion, though.

36/432

The air stirred, thickening to the point where
she felt her body work a little harder to
breathe. Goose bumps erupted along her
skin a split second before the cool caress of a
phantom breeze traveled over her. The
steady thump of her heartbeat sped up to a
thrilling speed. The door slammed closed of
its own accord, hindering any retreat she
might take.

He had arrived.

A trail of touch started at her ankles where
He traced and circled the fragile protrusion
of her bones. His touch moved up her skin,
outlining her calves, caressing 12

Intimate Whispers

the back of her knees. She elevated herself,
getting ready for Him to mount her, but He
took his time. He slid his hands between her
thighs, brushing against them so lightly her

37/432

pussy clenched, desperate for Him to find it
and provide the same delicate attention.

I’ve been away too long.

Eight days. The voices attacked with a ven-
geance because His scent no longer marked
her.

Have you missed me?

No. She’d never miss Him. She’d never admit
that aloud either. She did miss His
protection.

A soft, noncommittal sound escaped her
throat, but caught when the cool tips of His
fingers probed her clit, sliding the hood back
until the nub lay exposed. His finger drew a
small circle around it, pulling all sensation to
that singular location. All of her focus, every
thought concentrated on that sensitive spot
until the pleasure of it was almost too much

38/432

to bear. Her hips rolled of their own volition,
no longer under her command. Chasing, de-
manding more of that gloriousness.

He spread the fingers of His other hand, as
gentle and as cool as the first, against the
small of her back, holding her in place. En-
suring she endured what He offered.

She shouldn’t enjoy His attentions. The first
night like this, her mind screamed for her to
rebel against this sin, but her body had other
ideas.

“Why?” she’d cried the third time they’d ever
coupled. Why did He extend orgasm after or-
gasm to her before filling her with Himself?
He could have thrust between her legs and
finished the deed, but that never happened.
Even on the cruel nights He made certain
she came again and again, wringing her body
dry until she lay gasping and trembling

39/432

against the bed. Too sated, too spent to move
for several minutes afterward.

Release yourself to me, Sabrina.

Her head jerked in a nod. Because He
wouldn’t be satisfied until she found release,
Sabrina blew out a breath and let go. She
used a single hand to cup her own breast,
captured the nipple between two fingers and
rolled it with the same force He stroked
between her legs.

An orgasm raced through her body, escaping
with such pressure she cried out, called to a
god who bore witness to this lewd act. Her
toes curled, her back arched as He toyed with
her clit. Dots of perspiration peppered her
skin, the violent tremors not strong enough
to shake them loose.

Another wave seized her, threatened to
drown her beneath a crushing weight, but He

40/432

caught her right before the decadent crest,
pushed His cock into her pussy before she
succumbed. If His intent had been to stave
off another mind-shattering orgasm, it didn’t
work. Her body bucked, accepting His girth
and length with barely a pause.

Instead of mellowing beneath the change, He
set off a series of detonations that brought
with them another explosive orgasm.

13

Dee Carney

As always, He slowly began to thrust. A
methodical withdrawal and push forward
that almost made her scream with impa-
tience. He slowed down, manipulating His
fingers to match the easy pace, almost mak-
ing her grateful her clit received a temporary
reprieve.

41/432

It wouldn’t last. He let her become used to
Him, used to another orgasm hovering just
outside of her reach before He picked up
speed. Not much. Just enough to make Sab-
rina release her nipple and reach between
her legs herself. Their hands met and He let
out a soft chuckle, a sound that echoed in her
mind.

So responsive…so…mine.

Together they circled her clit again, building
up intensity, forcing her heart to pound
faster, harder. When she came, it snuck up
on her. Caught hold of her lungs and
squeezed until she couldn’t breathe. Locked
on to her vocal cords until she couldn’t
scream. Her body trembled, a throaty moan
filling the air, the only things her body could
manage.

And still He picked up pace.

42/432

If she knew His name, she would have
screamed it by now, but He appeared to love
her hoarse cries of “Oh, God…yes…please…”
Wanton sounds. Decadent sounds.

Sounds of being well fucked.

Her forehead rested against the pillow and
she gasped, trying to match His speed now.
The bed slammed against the wall, and for
the hundredth time she vaguely wondered if
the people in the next-door apartment
marveled at the prowess of her lover. She
did.

He never tired. His hips slapped against her
ass, always moving, always rolling.

Always, always wrenching another orgasm
from her, each one more powerful than the
last. Already she knew tonight would be one
of those nights. Tonight He would use her

43/432

until all sensation left her legs. Until her
pussy was raw and sore.

She gave in and let Him have his way. He
would anyway, regardless of how much she
encouraged or discouraged Him.

Yes, having Him was as good, if not better,
than having a boyfriend.

Her eyes fluttered closed, her body braced
against the ever-increasing power of His
thrusts. Sabrina released herself to Him
again. Let Him use her pussy until in another
twenty minutes or so, the orgasms would be-
come so intense, bright-colored spots ap-
peared behind her lids. Then once the spots
disappeared, on the border of hyperventila-
tion, she would see only blackness. And then,
one or two more orgasms later, she’d pass
out altogether to wake and find Him gone,
but His seed seeping from between her legs.
Funny how the sticky fluid always remained.

44/432

Still, a little cleanup was a small price to pay
to keep the voices away.

* * * * *

“I need a fucking cigarette.”

14

Intimate Whispers

Jason paced the room, stopping often to
stare at the closed front door. So very temp-
ted to throw it open, march across the hall
and confront Sabrina. With the exception of
his parents, no one knew about Teddy. No
one.

Kelly held out a small tumbler of bourbon.
Ice cubes clinked against each other as she
offered it. They’d been trying to solve the
mystery of tonight for the past two hours un-
til Kelly had given up and poured a couple of

45/432

drinks instead. “You don’t smoke,” she re-
minded him. “Here, take this instead. And
while you’re at it, why don’t you sit next to
me and explain why you are so fascinated
with her? I don’t get it.” He looked over at
the concern on her face and the corner of his
mouth lifted in a small smile from the sight
of her. She’d probably always have the ability
to make his heart pick up speed. Kelly was
beautiful. He liked his women petite, and she
was the epitome of compact. She wore three-
inch heels for almost everything, arguing
they were evil inventions of men meant to
push out her ass and elevate her breasts. So-
ciety forced her to compete with thin, model-
types, she’d say, and someone like her
needed the extra edge. He didn’t think so.
Short blonde hair, big blue eyes. Cute
kewpie-doll lips.

She’d caught his attention in a room full of
salespeople almost immediately.

46/432

Too bad they’d messed things up beyond all
hope of repair during their year together as a
couple. While she might be willing to give it a
third whirl, he didn’t have the heart to try.
They just weren’t meant to be and he did
neither of them a favor by forcing himself in-
to a romantic relationship with her again.

He took the glass and sat down, staring into
the amber liquid. Melting ice formed a
widening translucent layer. “You never met
my brother Thad, but he would have liked
you. Any woman who offered up a drink
when a man was feeling down, was a woman
after his own heart.”

Her hand landed on his knee. “I’m sorry.”

Jason nodded. She knew about his deceased
brother, but not the entire story. Not even
Kelly earned that honor. “Thanks.” He let a
beat of silence pass. “I know it’s impossible,

47/432

but Sabrina said something to me that only
Thad knew about.”

“What’d she say?”

“Just something from a long time ago. But I
swear to you, no one knew about it. No one.”

She respected the way he avoided giving a
direct answer and didn’t press. “Lucky guess,
then?”

“How does a woman I barely know, out of
the clear blue say something my brother
used to tell me all the time? She’s supposed
to be a nut, but Kel, when she looked at me,
she knew exactly what she was saying. You
could see she knew I knew what it meant.”

“Now you sound like the nut,” she muttered.

48/432

She was joking. He knew it, but a flare of an-
ger rose before he could recall it. “I don’t
know why I’m even talking to you.”

15

Dee Carney

The astonishment that crossed her face made
him immediately regret what he said.

This was why they weren’t together anymore.
Moments like this when she didn’t get him,
evenings together when she admonished him
for not understanding her job.

They’d always ended in arguments.

“I’m sorry,” he offered. “I just—” What ex-
actly? He needed an explanation.

Couldn’t shake the feeling he should march
back over there and confront Sabrina if for

49/432

no other reason than to make certain she was
okay.

“You’re going back over there, aren’t you?”

He looked up, surprised he’d been staring in-
to the glass again. “What?”

“Thad is a no-go topic between the two of us,
but you’ve got it written all over your face.
You need to know what she knows about
him.” She sounded bitter and he almost
winced.

Kelly rose to her feet, looking at the different
pieces of furniture in the room. When she
spotted her purse on an ottoman, she headed
for it. “Thanks for being my date tonight,”
she said, slipping the bag onto her shoulder,
“but I’d say the evening is over, right?”

He pursed his lips. If Kelly hadn’t bought
and paid for the concert tickets while they

50/432

were a couple how many months ago, they
wouldn’t be here tonight and he suspected
she knew that. “Look, Kel—”

“Don’t sweat it, Jason.”

“Kelly, wait. Let’s not—”

This time she blew out a breath. “You’ve
made it pretty clear that you moved on
without me, Jason. You can’t even talk to me
about your brother, but you can bet your ass
you’re about to head over to that woman’s
apartment as soon as I’m out the door.” He
didn’t reply but Kelly didn’t need him to. She
added, “Thanks for a lovely time and I hope
you get out of this whatever it is you’re look-
ing for.” That made two of them.

Despite her light protest, he did have the de-
cency to follow Kelly downstairs first and see
her into a cab. She offered him a light kiss,
but he turned his head at the last second,

51/432

forcing her to graze his cheek. That boat had
sailed. He knew it; she now recognized it.
Time for both of them to act accordingly.

As he waited for the elevator to rise, he real-
ized perhaps agreeing to take her to the con-
cert tonight had been a mistake. He could
have just as easily paid for his ticket, or
bought them outright. Instead, he’d taken
her suggestion that they just go and enjoy
the music together and he’d not thought too
deeply into it.

Idiot.

Maybe he was being as much of an idiot by
going to Sabrina’s apartment. He’d have it
coming if she maced him when she opened
the door instead of listening to the ramblings
of a madman. What did he plan on saying,
anyway?

16

52/432

Intimate Whispers

He knocked on the door and rehearsed a few
openers in his mind. When she opened it a
few minutes later, nothing useful had
bothered to surface.

“Yes?” She peered at him beneath the simple
gold security chain there more for show than
actual security. Any burglar worth his salt
could use a bolt cutter or any druggie
cranked up on juice could kick down the
door without slowing.

“Sabrina, hi.” God, he sounded like an idiot
already. “I don’t know if you remember me,
but I’m Jason, from across the way.” He held
out a hand and pointed to his apartment.

She followed the movement with her eyes,
but soon brought her attention back to him.
“Yes?” she repeated.

53/432

Now what? Asking her about Teddy at once
seemed beyond idiotic, but on the other
hand, he’d never be able to sleep, much less
live with himself, if he didn’t ask.

“I’m sorry, but I was wondering… Oh wait.
Are you okay now? You were a little out of it
earlier.”

Her brow knotted. “Earlier?”

“Yeah, when I brought you home.” The way
she straightened to her full height, barely tall
enough to make it past his shoulder, made
him wonder a little bit more about the nature
of her illness. She acted as if she didn’t re-
member. “You’re okay, right?” After her tent-
ative nod, he continued. “Anyway, you said
‘I’m not your teddy bear’. Do you remember
that?”

Haunting hazel eyes studied him as if he was
the crazy one, as he’d predicted. “I’m

54/432

sorry—Jason was it? I’m sorry, but it’s get-
ting late. Did you need something?”

“Listen, I know you don’t know me or any-
thing, but do you mind if I come in? Or could
you come out here?” He took a step back.
“I’d like to ask you a few questions.

When you said that earlier, you reminded me
of someone. Not just anyone, really. My
brother.”

Her hand pulled at the lapel of a satin robe
starting to gape. Not before he caught a teas-
ing glimpse of the swell of her breast. For
some crazy reason, his mouth went a little
dry at the sudden image of her standing na-
ked before him. Of the idea that she stood
there in the nude as they talked. There was
something so incredibly kinky and simple at
the same time about that.

55/432

He forced himself to focus on something oth-
er than a neglected libido and instead on
how she’d managed to turn his world upside
down with a single statement.

At once her expression grew hard, wiping
away any lurid thoughts he might have.

The door closed in a sudden move, the snick
of the chain being released amplifying a few
seconds later. Her expression softened by the
time she opened the door, but there was fa-
tigue etched deep into her face.

“Come in,” she said. “Tell me about your
dead brother.” 17

Dee Carney

56/432

Chapter Two

Her body ached, the scent of Him still linger-
ing on her skin as she escorted Jason into the
living room. Awakening to insistent knock-
ing on her front door had been a shock to the
system. She barely had time to clean up a
little before she rushed to answer it.

To her surprise she cracked the door to find
herself gazing into the dark-brown eyes of
her very sexy neighbor.

Jason, huh? Surprising that she’d forgotten
his name after he’d introduced himself back
when. He looked like a Jason. Probably
played sports in high school and college.

Maybe even made it all the way to semipro
before deciding to focus on academics and a
future. Still went to the gym a few nights a
week to maintain a trim body. He was tall,

probably around six feet or so. Once she’d
spied him in shorts, dripping sweat down the
tanned skin of his bare, broad chest. Must
have just come from playing some sort of
sport where he was probably team captain,
barking orders at other scantily dressed,
testosterone-filled men. Even the memory
made her want to lick her lips. He’d been ut-
terly delicious that day. The pretty blonde al-
ways attached to his arm rounded out the
picture, unfortunately.

Despite the weight of the robe’s soft fabric,
standing beneath his scrutiny she felt un-
clothed. Her skin tingled from where He’d
spent the past couple of hours caressing her,
between her legs still pulsing from being
thoroughly used. Walking without a twist in
her step took extra concentration.

Worse, in the presence of a real man, an at-
tractive man, she felt dirty.

58/432

She lowered herself into a wing chair and
tucked her legs beneath her. Static rolled off
Jason, his gaze darting around the room in
surreptitious peeks at her decor. Still, his at-
tention returned again and again to Sabrina.
He perched himself on the edge of the couch
across from her, his knee bouncing.

“Your brother,” she prompted with a lift of
her eyebrow.

He leaned forward. “How did you know he’s
dead?”

“Because you’re knocking on my door after
midnight.” And because these days only the
dead had cause to speak to her.

“That doesn’t…it doesn’t…” He faltered.

Poor guy. She’d dealt with this type before.
Desperate for answers after she’d given him
a glimpse into the spirit world. Nothing in

59/432

her memory suggested that she had, but the
fact he sat here now hinted at as much. She
avoided this type of situation like the plague,
but no cause for it now. “Listen, I’m sorry I
said something to upset you, but sometimes
I just say stupid things.”

18

Intimate Whispers

“Not this.”

“Let me guess,” she interrupted, holding up a
hand. “I gave you some message from your
brother and now you want to get into contact
with him, right?” Jason’s eyes widened.
“Well let me tell you, it’s just a party trick,”
she lied.

He folded his arms over his chest, tucking
one fist beneath his chin. Deadlocked, they
stared at each other. Between gritted teeth,

60/432

he said, “I don’t believe you.” Hope deflated.
That meant the message sparked some
memory only the two brothers shared. If
she’d relayed something cryptic that any ob-
servant person could guess, he’d be on his
way by now.

“You’ve said something to me in passing,
maybe I read a piece of your mail by accident
and used it against you.” She needed him to
leave this vein of thought alone.

“I’m sorry, really I am, but I promise you,
whatever message I gave you doesn’t mean
what you think it does.”

“Why are you doing this?” The rims of his
eyelids reddened, but he held her gaze.

“You were the one to say he’s dead, remem-
ber?” If she dared look into Pandora’s box,
secrets she didn’t want to know would be re-
vealed. Her sanity couldn’t afford to look, but

61/432

he was hurting. That much she could tell
already. Whatever business he and his broth-
er shared hadn’t been completed before his
passing. “What do you want from me?”

“I…my brother died…and I just need… If I
could talk to him.”

“Okay, are you listening to yourself? What
you’re suggesting is a little crazy. I’m no
ghost whisperer or what have you. What
really makes you think I can help you with
contacting someone who’s dead?”

“You couldn’t have known,” he cried. His
chest rose and fell forcefully. “What you
said—”

“What did I say?”

“You really don’t remember?”

She shook her head. “No.”

62/432

His eyes narrowed. “What about the rest of
tonight? Do you remember any of it, either?”

Her attention shifted to her closed bedroom
door before returning to him. She said softly,
“No.”

Jason’s shoulders slumped, his face aging
before her eyes. He took a deep breath, and
swiped his hand over his face. Dejection
wiped away the hope shining from him only
a few minutes ago. “I don’t know why I’m
here,” he said, rising. “I’m sorry to have
bothered you so late.”

So that made her feel like a total ass. “Wait,
Jason.” Sabrina bit her lip, mulling over her
options.

Obviously

something

occurred

between them earlier in the evening. So-
mething she had no recollection of, but must
19

Dee Carney

63/432

have involved his help. For one, she needed
to get the details on that from him. No telling
what damage needed repairing as a result.

Her second task was a little more difficult.
How best to give him what he needed
without diving headfirst into the world of the
dead? If He didn’t come to her immediately
afterward to provide His special kind of pro-
tection, she’d be in a world of hurt. Was it
even worth it?

“You said something about helping me out
earlier tonight. I can’t remember what
happened. Do you mind recapping a little?”

He lifted a shoulder and let it fall. “You
needed help getting home, that’s all.”

“I didn’t know where I was, did I?” After he
nodded, she added, “And I was talking about
things that seemed a little strange to you?”

64/432

“You said you couldn’t help them.”

No, she couldn’t help the dead. Too many
vied for her attention at one time.

“Where was this?”

“At the grocer a few blocks away. You had a
box of cereal in your hand.” So, he got her
home during one of her fugues, when good-
ness only knew who could have taken ad-
vantage of her and she’d be none the wiser.
His actions gave her little choice in the mat-
ter. “All right, I’ll tell you what. Have a seat.”
His brows lifted. “Yeah?”

“I’m not making you any promises, but,” she
blew out a breath, “I’ll see what I can do.”
Her gaze narrowed. “But Jason, you are
sworn to secrecy. What happens or might not
happen stays right here between you and me.
Do we have a deal?” He made a valiant effort
not to smile, but she caught the way his

65/432

mouth pushed up in the corners as he nod-
ded. Before they were done, she’d find a way
to make him finish it. She had a feeling a
smile would look damn good on sexy neigh-
bor man.

Jason sat back down in his previous spot,
this time minus a bouncing knee. “So how
does this work? What is it that you do?”

And the moment she’d been dreading had
arrived. Looking him straight in the eye, she
said, “I talk to the dead.”

The moment the words left her mouth, he
couldn’t help but reflect on the whispers
about Sabrina. Schizophrenic. Hears voices.
Talks to herself.

According to her, she did hear voices; only,
she heard the voices of the dead.

Whoa.

66/432

“I’m sorry?”

A twinkle appeared in her eyes. “I have the
ability to talk to the dead.” Was she serious?
“Really?” he squeaked. Clearing the frog in
his throat, he tried again. “Really?”

“Yeah,” she said, nodding. “Really.”

20

Intimate Whispers

On any other day, he would have dismissed
her claim as a colossal joke, but he couldn’t
shake that singular phrase. The inflections
and enunciations that were dead ringers for
the way Teddy spoke.

Sabrina’s legs unfolded and he caught anoth-
er decadent glimpse of skin he shouldn’t be
privy to. This time, the skin of her brown in-
ner thigh flashed in front of him before she

67/432

crossed her legs and covered herself with the
robe. His dick twitched.

“Uh.” He cleared his throat. “What do you
do? Or, uh, how does it work?” He couldn’t
believe he was seriously getting hard. The
woman didn’t do much more than sit there,
but his favorite appendage came to life.

“It’s something I’ve been doing for a long
time.” Focus. “So you’ve actually talked to
my brother?” This time she shrugged. “Per-
haps. I don’t know.”

“But you said—”

“I don’t remember what I said to you. I wish
I could tell you different, but I can’t. It may
have been a message from your brother. It
might have been some random message
from someone else that happened to reson-
ate with you.”

68/432

“No, this was for me.”

Sabrina blew out a breath and rubbed a hand
across her face. “If you insist it is, let’s try
something simple.” She stood and motioned
for him to follow. “Ever heard of automatic
writing?”

They stopped at the breakfast bar where a
small pile of mail lay scattered. Sabrina lifted
a few pieces and located a pen hidden be-
neath. She flipped a sheet of paper over so
that the printed side lay facedown as she
settled onto a stool.

“Is that where you put a pen in your hand
and wait for someone to take over and start
writing?”

She drew back, a surprised grin on her face.
“You’ve done this before?”

69/432

“When I was about twelve. I remember play-
ing light as a feather, stiff as a board too.”

She huffed. “It’s a damn good thing kids
don’t know what they’re doing when they
start messing with the occult. One wrong
move with a Ouija board, or a second too
long in a trance, and they open up a world
where they have no business.”

“Is that how you got started?” He watched
her jaw tighten.

“No.”

There was a story there, but he’d have to get
it later. Right now, he wanted to see this
automatic writing in action. “So what do we
do?”

“We? We do nothing. You sit there, think
about your brother and be quiet. I’ll be doing
my best not to get possessed.”

70/432

“Wait, what?”

“Nothing,” she muttered.

21

Dee Carney

He rested his hand on hers, preventing her
from getting into a comfortable writing posi-
tion. “Sabrina, is this dangerous?”

Dark circles lined beneath her eyes, but she
held his gaze. “Think about your brother and
let’s get this over with. It’s a one-time offer.”
A pause gripped his breath. Reluctantly
though, his hand dropped and he gave her a
curt nod. “Fine.”

Only it wasn’t fine. What the hell was he
thinking? Did she just mention something
about

getting

possessed?

This

virtual

stranger had no reason to help him, yet she

71/432

was willing to work within the loose rules of
the occult on his behalf. Rules he knew noth-
ing about.

He hadn’t thought this through at all. Maybe
they both needed to take a step back, figure
out what they were doing, and formulate
some sort of game plan. If this didn’t involve
Teddy, he wouldn’t be here at all. She didn’t
need to be dragged into his family’s disaster.

Second thoughts creeped over him like little
spiders.

“Sa—”

Her eyes stared unseeing at him. No blink-
ing. No movement.

He edged closer, but nothing changed. She
sat erect, the pen resting loosely in her right
hand. Steady breathing. The pulse in her
neck throbbing with a constant rhythm.

72/432

Jesus, what had he gotten them into? He had
more questions than answers, and the only
person who could answer them sat trancelike
before him.

Everything happened so quickly, before his
brain had a chance to process the changes.
Sudden movement jerked his attention back
to her. The pen moved. Quick, uncoordin-
ated motions that resulted in jagged lines of
ink marking the page.

He held his breath, his focus riveted to the
scrawl.

Sabrina let out a soft whimper, a sound so
erotic and wanton, his gaze snapped up to
study her face once again. She regarded him
with soft, half-lidded eyes. No, not him.

The space in front of him.

73/432

Her chin lifted through a blink so slow he
thought her lids might remained closed.

She opened her eyes at last, but they didn’t
focus. Sabrina was in another place.

“Sabrina?” he whispered.

The pen began to scrawl across the paper
again. As much as it pained him to do so, he
left the comfort of scanning her face to figure
out the meaning behind the pen’s movement.
She wrote with strange, disjointed weaving
lines that crossed each other backward and
forward until the page filled with illegible
scribble.

She’d instructed him to focus and instead of
thinking of Teddy, he’d become enthralled
on the process of automatic writing. Shit.

He plucked another page from where she’d
gotten the first and replaced the insanely

74/432

marked one with the stark-white page. The
moment blue ink appeared on it, he pulled
every memory he had of Teddy from within
his psyche.

22

Intimate Whispers

It still hurt to think of him as gone. Maybe if
they’d been closer, like when Teddy was
younger, before the problems began…

Their mother said the nurses must have acci-
dentally dropped him in a tub the day he was
born. Teddy loved the water. Every type of
water sport. Swam like a fish. His boat, pur-
chased before he considered saving for a car,
had been named The Mona Lisa.

Teddy, with their father’s exuberant green
eyes, of whom he’d been jealous. Whose
smile had never quite reached his emerald

75/432

gaze. Who became more sullen and with-
drawn from all of them as the years passed.

His brother, who he’d ultimately failed in the
end.

A woman’s sigh caressed his mind. Other
sounds in the room sharpened to a fine
point, scraping against the base of his spine
like nails on a chalkboard.

He opened his eyes, just now realizing he’d
closed them in the first place. His shoulders
ached, his neck stiff as if he’d been in the
same uncomfortable position for hours. A
quick roll of his shoulders eased some of the
tension, but new pings of protesting muscles
screamed for his attention too. He looked up
to find Sabrina standing next to him, a glass
of water extended.

“You okay?” she asked.

76/432

Biting back a moan, he nodded. “Yeah. What
time is it and what happened?” She waited
for him to take the glass. “Think of it like
meditation. I went into a sort of trance and
you followed.”

He gulped down some of the cool liquid.
“Did it work, then?” Leaning forward, he
searched for the paper she’d been writing on,
but Sabrina shifted until she blocked his
path. A gap appeared in her robe, offering
enough of a teasing view that his gaze
dropped, lest she find him ogling. Despite a
fevered imagination having to work overtime
with an image of what he hoped he’d seen,
like clockwork, his dick lifted.

“It worked,” she replied, her voice like silk.

His ears perked because he knew the dulcet
tones of a woman’s seductive voice.

77/432

The one that gave him permission to touch
her body, explore her intimate places. When
he swallowed this time, it had nothing to do
with the glass of water.

He glanced at her and swallowed again. Sab-
rina’s eyes were bright, the pupils dilated un-
til the color of her irises could have passed
for black. She brought her finger to her lip to
trace the lower rim. Her hand drifted lower,
over her chin and trailed down her neck,
moving lower still until she pulled that teas-
ing gap open a little wider.

“Hey…” His words caught in his throat.
Really, he had nothing to offer. Nothing any
red-blooded man with a lick of sense staring
down a beautiful woman would say.

She reached for his jaw, and when she con-
nected, a burst of fire enveloped his skin.

78/432

“You have the most incredible eyes, you
know.” Heat traveled along his skin, a wake
of burn following her touch. “They’re so
unique. Mesmerizing.” 23

Dee Carney

The skin along his face never felt more sens-
itive. His heartbeat hinging on whether she
kept her finger connected to him. Something
about this didn’t sit well. This sudden in-
terest in him. But damn if he could get his
mind to concentrate long enough to sort the
details.

Her scent wafted to him and he realized
she’d moved closer. Not just closer.

Electricity crackled in the sparse places they
didn’t quite touch. Very few places.

Sabrina wedged herself between his legs, her
body sliding against his with casual ease. The

79/432

gap in her robe widened even farther, expos-
ing a smooth, soft belly. A delicate indenta-
tion he wanted to dip his tongue inside
nestled farther down in the middle. Below
there he didn’t dare look. Not yet.

“What—” What are you doing, he almost
asked, but held his tongue. He knew exactly
what she was doing. Hazy eyes, parted lips,
suggestive proximity all exposed her inten-
tions. Somewhere between his brain and his
mouth, a short-circuit deliberately made cer-
tain he didn’t put an end to it.

Her breath fanned against his skin, tickled
along his neck and he opened himself to it.
Encouraged her lips to touch down and press
delicate kisses. His jaw tightened, his fingers
gripping on to the stool beneath him with a
determination of a man on the edge of the
Earth, ready to tumble over.

80/432

He wanted this woman. Wanted her naked
beneath him. Wanted to plunge himself into
her wetness until they were both spent and
satisfied and desperate for more. And by
some mercy, she wanted him too.

Sculpted nails scraped along his chest, leav-
ing trails of tiny red wheals behind. He didn’t
know at what point they’d managed to start
the process of discarding his shirt, but the
plunk of buttons hitting the floor meant they
still worked together on freeing him. His
chest would be bare soon, if he had anything
to do with it, his lower half to follow suit. He
knew damn good and well already she wore
nothing beneath the robe.

But he wanted to kiss her first. He needed to
taste her. Feel her lips move along his.

Make love to her mouth with his tongue.
Taste. Feast. Fill this hunger.

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His mind was a whir of thoughts. Of desires.
Each one sifting and battling for supremacy.
Lust edging out, leading the way.

Wait…no. They couldn’t…

Thoughts that should have been foremost.
Images of why they were here in the first
place rushed him.

His brother. Teddy.

They had to…

Automatic writing. Sabrina.

Possession.

“Sabrina.” Her name came out on a gasp, his
hands clamoring for a hold on her shoulders.
Wrenching her away. “Sabrina, wait. Look at
me!” he roared when she persisted. His voice
dropped low, soft after she stopped strug-
gling. “Look at me.” 24

82/432

Intimate Whispers

His reflection appeared in her dilated pupils.
He should have asked more questions. He
shouldn’t have insisted they try this.

“Sabrina.”

She licked her moist lips before biting down
on one. “You have the most incredible eyes,
you know,” she said on a sigh.

Damn it. “Sabrina, it’s me. Jason. Your
neighbor.” He studied her face for any sign of
recognition and found none. “Do you re-
member me? What we’re doing here?” A
spark of life ignited behind her blank stare.
“Jason?”

“Jason Raines. I live in 4B. Who are you?”
His heart trickled to its normal pace, his dick
slowly deflating. Whatever happened in the

83/432

past few minutes had never been meant to
be. Not like this.

“Sabrina Turner.” She blinked slowly, her
pupils returning to little pinpricks until the
beautiful hazel color reflected once again.
“And I’m…so…incredibly stupid.” Jason
reached forward and pulled tight the lapels
of her robe, holding it closed until she could
refasten the belt around her waist. They
worked together in silence, neither looking at
the other. “What happened there?”

“Another hazard of who I am,” she said dis-
missively. She withdrew from his embrace,
keeping a few feet separating them now.

He shrugged what remained of his shirt back
into place, wanting with every cell in his
body to question her more, but now that his
senses had returned, he remembered their
purpose together. “Did it work?” he asked

84/432

when he gave up the search for the missing
buttons.

Sabrina looked up sharply. She bent and re-
trieved the fallen papers from the floor with
a strangling grip. Her eyes didn’t meet his
when she shoved them in his direction.

“If your brother came tonight, his message
will be somewhere in here. Take this and go.”

Go? They had a lot to talk about. His broth-
er…their actions. “Sabrina.” Palpable disdain
rolled off her. Whatever thoughts she har-
bored did not paint him in a good light.

Sabrina walked to the front door and threw it
open. Hand on hip, she stood in the open
doorway and announced, “Go, Jason. Con-
sider us even.”

* * * * *

85/432

Sabrina gave up on sleep when the sun cres-
ted the horizon.

Just had to contact the dead, didn’t she? Just
had to speak with one of them mere hours
after He’d relieved her of their voices. For
what? Because a handsome man helped her
out when she needed it?

The hours prior to Jason’s arrival had taken
their toll. She’d been weak, physically and
mentally, and that had been all the spirit
needed to step in and take over for a few 25

Dee Carney

minutes. Trapped, she watched her own
body betray her by kissing Jason. Touching
him. After a while, she didn’t know whether
it was the spirit doing those things or her.

Stupid horny spirit.

86/432

Stupid horny her.

Morning ablutions out of the way, she set
about looking for something to eat.

Saturday mornings were meant for biscuits
and gravy, but the thought of cooking for
one—again—didn’t sit well with her today.

Of course, she could make some and do the
neighborly thing…

Oh, for Christ’s sake, get a hold of yourself.
If since he’d first moved in two months ago
she hadn’t tried to jump his bones, why all of
a sudden did she feel the need to explore the
inside of Jason’s bedroom now? Well, the
reticence might have something to do with
his blonde girlfriend whom Sabrina had con-
veniently forgotten last night.

Sabrina let out a deep sigh. She had more
than enough troubles in her life. The last

87/432

time she’d tried to establish a relationship,
things didn’t go well. He hadn’t taken too
kindly to it either, leaving her to suffer with
the voices for enough time to almost make
her insane.

Three loud raps amplified through the front
door.

“What now?” she mumbled.

Except she thought she knew. Opening the
door to find Jason standing there confirmed
her suspicions.

“Good morning.” He looked her in the eyes,
any embarrassment about last night van-
ished with the new day.

She pursed her lips, folded her arms over her
chest and leaned against the doorjamb.
“Morning.”

88/432

“I was wondering—”

“I thought we agreed we’re even.”

“You shoved me out of here so fast last night
I didn’t get to find out what we’re even for.”

She tried hard not to stare at the way his
black t-shirt molded against his torso, out-
lining a lean shape. She’d gotten to know
that chest up close and personal last night.

A quick glance verified formfitting jeans,
with his perfect-sized package tucked neatly
into the crotch. Last night, what he wore
didn’t seem capable of restraining his erec-
tion, a nice addition to their play. So used to
His touch, she’d forgotten the feel of a flesh-
and-blood man beneath her hands, but
Jason rushed the memory back.

“You should leave.”

89/432

“I still need your help.” He raised a white,
grease-stained bag in the air. “And I even
brought breakfast for sustenance.”

26

Intimate Whispers

The smell of something fried and decidedly
unhealthy rose into the air and her traitorous
stomach growled in appreciation. Yes, it
must have been far too long without a real
man because she found herself considering
his offer although it made no sense.

No. It made lots of sense.

Forget being hungry, who besides Jason
offered her company after seeing what one of
her episodes looked like? Even without her
ability, she had a feeling he would have con-
tinued to be nice to her. He was just one of
those guys. Nice for no particular reason.

90/432

Then again, all the more reason to stay away.

“I trust you’ll keep our secret, Jason,” she
said and started to back away. The door slid
closed on quiet hinges, once more cutting
her off from the outside world.

“Wait!” Jason’s hand shot forward, stopping
the door partway. “I can’t decipher this all
and you’re in here. Your name is on this
page.”

“What?” That got her attention. The dead
never had anything to say about her. To her,
yes, but never about her.

His mouth quirked up in a smile. He shook
the bag at her. “So, can I come in?” Turning
on her heel, she tossed over her shoulder,
“Fine.” He made himself comfortable at the
breakfast bar, sitting in the same spot as last
night. She tried not to blush at the memory
of what they’d done in that very location,

91/432

what she would have allowed him to do, and
focus on the business at hand. Jason had
other ideas.

Unfolding the sack, he withdrew two thick
sandwiches wrapped in wax paper. If she
thought the aroma was enticing before, its
presentation made her mouth water.

With a flourish, he unwrapped them both to
reveal some sort of heart attack on a plate.

“What’s in there?”

He looked up with a smirk. “What isn’t? I
didn’t know what you liked, so I took my
chances. Anything you don’t want, pick out
and I’ll happily eat.” She lifted the top layer
of toasted sourdough bread and almost
moaned. Beneath, two perfectly fried eggs,
slices of ruby-red tomatoes, bacon still drip-
ping with grease, some sort of green sauce
and melted cheese formed a mountain of

92/432

decadence. One thing she’d admit about her
neighbor—he knew his way to a girl’s heart.

They ate in silence. Mostly because she
sucked down the food with great relish, en-
joying every mouthful of the sandwich. She
felt the heat of his gaze on her a few times,
but ignored it. If she had to face something
the dead scribbled in the note, it could damn
well wait until she faced it on a full stomach.

“So,” she said between the last bites, “let’s
get this over with. What did you want to
show me?”

“Morning person, huh?” When she gave him
her most wan expression, his lips tightened.
“Listen, don’t you think we should at least
discuss what happened here last night? One
minute, we’re doing this trance thing and the
next…” 27

Dee Carney

93/432

“And the next we’re locking lips with no
plans on coming up for air.” He didn’t have
to remind her. The memory of those mo-
ments burned images in her mind she had no
plans of setting free.

“You don’t have to sound so disgusted by it.”

His sulkiness almost made her smile, but she
shook off amusement to feign indignation.
“You listen. The only reason you’re in here
now is because you said you have something
to show me.”

He stared at her a moment longer. Long
enough to make her wonder if he planned on
answering. Slowly though, he pushed aside
their trash and unfolded a familiar piece of
paper.

She hadn’t gotten a good look at it before he
left, but a quick glance wouldn’t have been
sufficient anyway. Words written in the

94/432

handwriting of a child stretched from edge to
edge. The letters were large, clumsily
formed. It didn’t take long to read most of
the nonsensical phrases. None of it made
much sense to her.

“You said my name is on here.”

Jason moved closer. “Yeah, it’s not easy to
catch at first, but look here.” He tilted the
page until it lay horizontally. “Now read it
again.” The letters making up her name drew
her eyes almost immediately. “Son of a…”

“Read the whole thing. It’s beyond eerie.”

Already ahead of him, she scanned the con-
tents. “This is impossible. Do you have any
idea the odds of anyone making this happen
on purpose?” When the page lay vertical, one
series of messages spread out before her. The
moment he turned the page however, an

95/432

entire new set of messages appeared. Going
way beyond eerie, it was genius.

He tucked the remains of his sandwich into
his mouth. “You’d have to tell me what to
expect.”

If only she could. “I haven’t done automatic
writing in years. And believe me, we didn’t
get anything this…complex.”

“What do you make of the words?”

“What do you?” She looked up at him. “You
were supposed to call on your brother.

Does anything in here make sense to you?
Something only you and he would know?”
His gaze shifted away. “No. Not really. My
name. Your name. That’s about it.”

“In all of this, you couldn’t find something
else?”

96/432

“Don’t you think I’ve tried? There are a
bunch of names, words I understand and
more I don’t. Any of it could mean anything.
Do you have any idea how… Never mind.

Just know if I could do what you do…”

It struck her then. The irrationality of their
situation. “You never questioned it. You ac-
cepted what I told you I could do without
thinking twice. Why? I could be running
some sort of con.”

28

Intimate Whispers

“Because my brother and I had unfinished
business. Because you said something so
simple, so mundane, so him, I had no choice.
I had to believe you.” Leaning back against
the stool, she crossed her legs. “Perhaps you

97/432

should tell me what kind of unfinished busi-
ness we’re talking about here.”

“It’s nothing,” he muttered.

“If you want my help anymore, make it
something. I’m not going to try to contact
your brother if there’s bad blood between the
two of you. It’s dangerous for you and more
importantly, me, if I try.”

A weight lifted from his shoulders. Whether
she realized what she just said or not, she at
least insinuated she planned on helping him.
But where to begin telling her about Teddy?
Suddenly eating the sandwich he brought
over no longer seemed like such a good idea.
It bubbled in his stomach like battery acid.

“Where should I begin?”

She shot him another bland look. He’d all
but anticipated it. “At the beginning.”

98/432

“Um, I guess we had a typical childhood.”
Sabrina settled onto the stool now and gave
him a cursory nod. “You know, two brothers
sharing a single room. We fought a lot,
played a lot. Fought more. Everything was
good, so I thought. So my parents thought.”

“Something changed.”

“Yeah. We grew up.” After leaving Sabrina
last night, he went home with the document
of words meant to give him some insight, or
some kind of connection to his brother and
spent hours poring over the words, trying to
make sense of them. He couldn’t have gotten
more than three or four hours of sleep as a
result and suddenly, he felt every second of
those missing minutes of rest. “Thad stopped
being the brother I knew. He became listless,
some days not even having the motivation to
get out of bed and shower. He’d just flunked
a semester at school, so we all figured it was

99/432

just a funk he’d get over sooner or later. But
he never did.”

“What was he like before that? This change
couldn’t have happened overnight.” A furrow
etched into his brow as he mulled it over.
“Actually, you’re right. If I really spend time
studying his behavior, he was always a sullen
kid. Always brooding over something. Defin-
itely a glass-half-empty kind of person. But
then it got bad. So much worse.” His voice
took on the same melancholic tone it always
got when he talked about Teddy, but it
couldn’t be helped. He hated to think of his
role in his brother’s downward spiral. “We
tried to insist he get help, but you can’t force
an adult to do anything he doesn’t want to do
and Thad didn’t think he needed help. He
just wanted to sleep and be left alone. Only
his boat and the ocean ever got him to leave
his room.”

100/432

The stool scraped against the tile floor when
she shifted, causing him to look up.

Her expression said she understood his sor-
row and her silence was just as telling. If 29

Dee Carney

nothing else, it prompted him to speak more
about his most haunting topic. It came pour-
ing out of him as if he’d spent the night
drinking liquor, effectively loosening his
tongue. He almost never spoke with his
friends about Teddy, yet here he was with a
stranger pouring out his heart. Later, maybe
when he wasn’t so desperate, he’d analyze
why.

“We don’t know he’s dead for certain.”

“What?” Sabrina shot forward. “But…”

101/432

“If there isn’t a body to recover, you have to
wait seven years to be officially declared
dead. It’s only been two.”

“So why would you even assume he’s dead?
What happened?”

“He went out on his boat one day and never
came back.”

“That doesn’t mean he’s dead, Jason.”

His eyes felt heavy. The effort to lift them
and meet her gaze sapped his depleting en-
ergy. “It does if his boat is found in the
middle of the Intercoastal. No sign of him
anywhere to be found.”

Sabrina’s fingers had been drumming along
the bar top. They stopped the moment the
words left his mouth. With a glance he real-
ized their hands were only inches from

102/432

grazing. He battled some urge to slip her
hand in his and hold on to it for a little
comfort.

She peered at the page again, disrupting the
raging thought. “That, by itself, is still not a
whole lot of proof. And the fact you didn’t get
any messages from him when he had a clear
medium for accessing you still gives me reas-
on to pause. I’m not trying to belittle what
you’re thinking, but Jason, are you sure
you’re not wrong?”

“You told me you speak with the dead. Is that
true or not?”

“It’s true.”

“Then my brother is dead, because somehow
you gave me a message from him.” Her voice
remained neutral, but a shield slipped down
over her eyes, separating him from her.

103/432

“What message? I don’t remember and you
still haven’t told me.”

“You said ‘I’m not your teddy bear’.”

If he thought she distanced herself before, a
chasm separated them now. Her lips
tightened, but just as quickly released the
echoing look of frustrating. He knew he’d
touched a soft spot in her while she tried to
remain neutral. “I’m not your teddy bear?

What kind of cryptic message is that?”

“The kind that I understand.” He bit his lip
to stop himself from saying more. From
telling her that she didn’t have to understand
because he did. That she didn’t live with the
guilt. He did.

“If you want my help,” she said gently, cross-
ing her arms, “you’ll have to do better than
that.”

104/432

“I could have saved him.”

30

Intimate Whispers

When he said nothing more, she prodded
him. “Go on…”

“He invited me out. He said he had
something he wanted to tell me and wanted
to know if I had time to take the boat out
with him.” Jason faltered again, his throat
squeezing tight against the memory, but Sab-
rina offered him no comfort. “Stop making
me pull this out of you. I can’t help if you
won’t tell me.”

“I didn’t go!” The words spewed forth, a gey-
ser of pain and guilt. “I lied and made up
some story. My last words to my brother
were some lame-ass excuse for not getting on
his boat just because I was feeling lazy and

105/432

didn’t share the same passion he did. I just
wanted to chill out and watch a game…and
my brother died.” She watched him, her ex-
pression soft, but no words of comfort were
offered. No placating pat on his hand or arm.

“Don’t you see?” he asked, because obviously
she didn’t. “If I had gone with him…”

“You might be dead too.”

He blinked back surprise. “What?”

“If you’d gone, you might be dead too.”

“That’s not—”

“That’s one of a million different outcomes
for that day if you’d gone. You might be dead
too. He might have lived that day only to be
struck by a bus on the next. Or he could have
done the solo boating thing the next time he
went out, instead.”

106/432

“But—”

“You’re sitting here so wrapped up in your-
self, so full of egotistical pride, that you think
you could have saved your brother—who, I
might add, you’re not sure is dead—

when in fact, if your brother went out there
to commit suicide, he obviously didn’t want
saving.”

The longer she spoke, the more he was cer-
tain his lungs would collapse from the effort
to breathe. She spoke with such casual intel-
ligence, her well-meaning tone, that infuriat-
ing look of disbelief in her eyes, he knew she
had no idea of what he spoke.

None. No one with a heart could just skewer
him like that. She didn’t think Teddy was
dead. She didn’t think he could have been
saved?

107/432

Go to hell. The words teetered on the tip of
his tongue, ready to roll off and sever what
little relationship they had. They rocked back
and forth, see-sawing on an edge. A never-
to-be-recalled damning he wasn’t so sure he
was prepared to face.

Sabrina blew out a breath. “I’m so sorry for
your loss. Really, I am. If you believe your
brother met a tragic end, then I’m more
sorry. It’s obvious you feel some sort of re-
sponsibility for it.”

“Thank—”

“But,” she emphasized, “as cold as this
seems, I can’t let your problems become my
own. And trust me, I have my own problems.
The fact he may or may not have reached 31

Dee Carney

108/432

out to me suggests your beliefs are right. But
what does that mean for you, Jason?

Maybe a little bit of closure. At best, some
sleepless nights that keep your mind turn-
ing.” Her head shook from side to side.
“Regardless, I can’t be a part of it.”

“Then what do you think I should do?” he
ground out. She was right. Of course she
was. That didn’t stop him from needing her.
If he could just get a message to Teddy, just
make sure he was all right wherever he was…

“Go home, Jason. Live your life. Maybe your
brother won’t come home one day, but I
hope to God he does. I hope this message
was for someone else, but some twist of the
universe made it seem like it was meant for
you.” Heart breaking, Jason studied her.
Again, the compulsion to push her until she
cracked, until she agreed to help in whatever
way she could, teased him. They could even

109/432

do things the easy way. Her way. Or, if she
forced him to, he could apply a little
pressure.

He knew nothing about this woman, other
than what he gleaned from a few hours to-
gether, and from vicious rumors spread by
those who didn’t care if they got back to her.
Then again, despite why they’d done it, there
was a smoking-hot kiss holding back a frus-
trated rage.

No. Best to keep things civil. He didn’t know
if he needed her. Not yet. Not for sure.

“I wish you could tell me for certain that my
brother’s alive, Sabrina. I’d give anything,
anything, for that confirmation. For the past
two years I have agonized and analyzed and
scrutinized what we’ve done, making sure we
have turned over every leaf, uncovered every
possible clue, contacted any and every pos-
sible person to make certain we haven’t

110/432

missed a thing. Not one thing. It took me
months to get over the realization he’s not
coming back.” He moved into her personal
space. “Now that I’ve finally accepted it,
don’t you dare tell me to drag that hope back
up. I can’t live through it again.” His voice
cracked, but he didn’t try to clear through it.
“I can’t.” She exhaled. No backing up. No
sign she would be intimidated by him. “I’m
sorry about the loss of your brother and
shouldn’t have implied he’s not gone. But I
have no room in my world for anyone else’s
self-pity. Your problems are not my prob-
lems.” Sabrina looked pointedly at the door.
“If you want to leave that paper with me, I’ll
see if I can find something of interest in it
besides names. Otherwise, I have a busy day
ahead of me.”

Clearly dismissed, Jason stood. He snatched
up a nearby ballpoint pen and pulled one of
the unused napkins toward him. Writing, he

111/432

said, “Here’s my number. Use it day or night
if you find something.”

She took it, but he sensed her reluctance.
“Thanks for breakfast, Jason.” He moved to-
ward the front door, the only possible link to
his brother lying with a woman who had no
vested interest in helping him. Turning, he
took in the sight of it and her one last time.

“Day or night,” he said. Please.

32

Intimate Whispers

112/432

Chapter Three

She never called. Over the next few days he
thought often about knocking on her door
just to say hello. Maybe slip in an innocent
query or two. Some combination of mach-
ismo and personal pride kept him indoors
and away from his neighbor. It didn’t stop
him from peering through the peep hole if he
heard a noise in the hall, however.

That yielded nothing as well. Well, except
raising his stupid factor a few notches.

Shrill ringing next to his ear woke him al-
most a week later. Thoughts of Sabrina or
Teddy or even Kelly nowhere near his
consciousness.

His eyes stuttered open and a dream, some
fuzzy nonsense about an island vacation,
whisked away in an instant. The phone rang

again and his brain managed the command
to move his arm. Grabbing it on the first try
was another matter. After a little fumbling,
he finally managed to grip the receiver.
“H’lo?”

“May I speak with Jason Raines, please?”

The woman’s voice was pleasant, but firm.
Definitely professional. A cop, maybe?

He didn’t recognize her. “This is him.”

He or him? He never got that one right.

“My name is Laura and I’m calling from
Mercy Hospital ER…” Jason bolted upright,
all traces of sleep vanished. His post-rest
heart rate tattooed like he’d just run a mara-
thon. Before he could voice his concern, she
continued, “Please don’t be alarmed.

114/432

This is not an emergency. We got your num-
ber from one of our patients.”

“Who?” One of his parents? His brother?

“We’re about to discharge Sabrina Turner,
but need someone to send her home with.”

He frowned. Why the hell would they call
him about Sabrina? “Wait… Is she all right?”

“Yes sir, she’s fine. The doctor would just
prefer not to send her home alone this time.
We’d hate to see her rebound and have to
come back again.”

“Again?”

She hesitated. He knew a little about those
privacy laws healthcare professionals had to
follow these days, but since she called him,
Sabrina must have given some sort of per-
mission already. “She’s here every couple of

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months. Once in a while, twice in a night
though… Uh, can I ask your relationship to
Miss Turner?”

“We’re uh…” Neighbors sounded too cold.
Lovers not even close to true.

Confidants didn’t work either. “Friends.”

Another lie, really, but she didn’t have to
know.

33

Dee Carney

“Can we release her to your care?”

“Of course.”

He hung up the phone and wiped a hand
down his face, scraping against a night’s
growth of stubble. Laura hadn’t provided any
details on what brought Sabrina to the

116/432

hospital, and his curiosity gnawed at the
back of his mind. Well, they’d all have to deal
with him unshaven and unshowered. No cof-
fee either? They’d be lucky if he made it
down there in one piece and coherent. Pure
adrenaline kept him functional right now.

It took less than twenty minutes to arrive.
Once there, he paid the cabbie and trotted
through the sliding doors. He had to blink
against the bright glare of lights once inside.
Some people called the distinct, disinfectant
aroma of a sterile hospital off-putting, but he
appreciated the sense that no germs would
find safe haven here.

Between the fluorescent glow ready to shine
down on a single speck of dust, and the
bleach vapors strong enough to provide a
nice little buzz, he had no doubt that who-
ever ran this place indeed believed cleanli-
ness was next to godliness.

117/432

Signs pointed the way to the information
desk and once there, he followed the direct-
ory toward the ER. As with the car drive
over, during his trot down the pristine tiled
floor he kept turning over in his mind why
Sabrina would call him of all people.

He passed a bank of empty slots where
gurneys presumably went. Myriad electronic
equipment, hoses and tubes of all types hung
in various locations along the walls. IV poles,
spare linen stacks and carts of even more
supplies formed neat lines along the way.

“Excuse me, but I’m looking for Sabrina
Turner,” he said to a woman walking by in
scrubs.

She turned toward an area where curtains
kept the occupants in privacy. Beneath the
hems, he saw efficient movement by feet of
several people. A few of the “rooms” only had
one set of legs, so far as he could tell. She

118/432

pointed. “In bay one. The set of curtains at
the very end.”

He thanked her, picking up speed. He
pushed through the pale-green curtain, and
came face-to-face with a round-faced young
woman sitting in a chair reading a book.

She looked up at him, the surprise in her ex-
pression probably an exact match to his.

“Oh, excuse me. Sorry,” he mumbled. His
feet wouldn’t back up fast enough.

She put down the paperback and started to
rise. “Can I help you?”

“Sorry,” he said, halfway through the parti-
tion. “I was looking for…Sabrina?” He’d al-
most missed her, sitting in another chair op-
posite the woman. Dressed in a simple t-
shirt and a faded pair of pants, she didn’t
look worse for wear. In the small space, he

119/432

only needed three steps to reach her.
Crouching, he touched her knee. “Hey,
what’s going on?”

She dragged her gaze from some spot on the
floor she’d been studying to regard him.
Then her head tilted, as if she couldn’t quite
make out the words someone said to her,
only no one was speaking.

34

Intimate Whispers

Jason looked to the woman who he now real-
ized wore a black pair of scrubs, the white
badge on her chest too far away to read.
“What’s wrong with her?”

“Um, I’ll have to get the nurse for you. I’m
just supposed to sit.” Sit? What did that
mean?

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He paid little attention to her hasty exit, and
tried to get some sort of reaction out of Sab-
rina. Lifting his hand to stroke her cheek, he
tried again. “Sabrina? It’s Jason. What’s go-
ing on?”

A little sigh escaped her mouth and she
leaned into his touch. Anyone who walked
into the room this very second might have
assumed they’d interrupted an intimate mo-
ment. He almost believed it himself.

The skin of her cheek was soft, fleshy and a
flash of memory reminded him of her smile.
The way her cheeks rounded and pulled a
similar smile from him. For a second he
thought about tracing over her cheek and
running his fingertip over her ear. Maybe
cup her head between his hands and stare in-
to those beautiful hazel eyes.

In this moment, she looked young. Innocent.

121/432

Beautiful.

On one hand that thought surprised him, but
on the other, didn’t. Yes, he’d given in to a
kiss with her, another intimate moment
taken advantage of. But in retrospect, he
realized he couldn’t be certain if he truly
found her attractive. Of course some men
would, but she wasn’t his type. For one, she
was black. Dating outside his race had never
crossed his mind, the reception they would
receive by his family questionable.

The thing about it was kissing her just about
blew him away. But that night, it had been
natural. She pressed her mouth to his and he
just let himself enjoy it. His body responded
in the only way it knew how around a woman
who stoked his lust.

Her lips moved, bringing him out of reverie.
Leaning closer, he tried to listen. The words
escaped him and he leaned closer still,

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bringing his ear so close to her mouth, the
hot brush of her breath sending a shiver
through him.

“Home,” she whispered softly.

He pulled back. “I’ll take you home. Let me
find the nurse, okay?” Nothing in her glazed
eyes indicated she heard him. Her lips con-
tinued their insistent movement. Now he re-
cognized the single syllable they formed. The
same word, “home”, repeated over and
again.

As if on a cue, a gaunt woman with a horse-
like face pushed through the curtain.

“Are you Mr. Raines?”

“Yeah, I’m Jason. Laura?” He rose and ex-
tended his hand.

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She nodded, gripping his hand in hers. The
young girl in black entered and resumed her
previous post across from Sabrina. “Can you
tell me what’s going on here?

She won’t tell me what’s wrong,” he said.

Laura’s eyes narrowed. “How well do you
know Sabrina?” For some reason, her tone
put him on the defensive. “How well do
you?” 35

Dee Carney

Her eyebrow arched, but she ignored his
question. “Sabrina’s been off her meds
again.”

What kind of…ah. The voices. So all the ru-
mors about her hearing voices had a ring of
truth to them after all. Maybe “hearing the
dead” actually related to a medical diagnosis.

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Who to believe though? Sabrina or the
nurse?

“Listen, we need to know if there’s someone
who can guarantee she’ll be taking the meds
prescribed to her. One day something bad’s
gonna happen, and she’ll end up in jail or
worse, instead of here where we know her.”
Her hand slipped into her pocket and re-
trieved a slip of paper. “She’s got to take
these medications. Can you convince her?”

He glanced at the prescription she just
passed to him. “I…” Don’t know her like that.

Did he really want to take on this woman’s
problems? Out of the clear blue someone ex-
pected him to ride up like some kind of
knight on a white steed and rescue her. But
that wasn’t him.

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Shit. Wasn’t this the same thing he’d asked
of Sabrina over a week ago? “I’ll get her
home. That’s where she wants to go.”

Laura stopped short of rolling her eyes.
“That’s always where she wants to go.

Before getting her there, please stop and get
those meds filled. Follow the directions and
make sure she’s taking them.”

Sabrina paid no attention to their exchange,
her mouth still forming that same precious
word. Her balled fists clenched tight against
he didn’t know what. Eyes squeezed shut,
she writhed in the chair, her expression
twisting against some sort of torment.

She didn’t look as if she should go anywhere,
but he’d have to trust their judgment.

Then again, he had to wonder still… Why
him? “Did she give you my number to call?”

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A flash of guilt softened Laura’s long face.
“Uh, no.”

“How did you get it then?”

“Mr. Raines, we’re short-staffed. We could
keep a sitter here for a little while, but she’s
needed elsewhere. Sabrina isn’t a danger to
herself, per se, but she shouldn’t be left
alone. As such, I made an executive
decision.”

“An executive decision?” The woman was
giving him little to work with.

“Yes, I went through her purse to find a cell
phone or an address book or something. I
didn’t find any of those things, but did find
your number on a balled-up piece of paper.”

Mystery solved then, but it made him angry.
“Is that really your decision to make?

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To call up random numbers and hope one of
them sticks?” Laura’s stance widened, her
sensible shoes planted firmly on the ground.
“If that’s what it takes to ensure her safety,
yeah, it is. Sabrina is a nice lady with a bad
lot in life.

If she’ll take her meds, she’ll be fine. If she
ends up in my ER again, I’ll know you’re not
36

Intimate Whispers

the person I should have called. And believe
you me,” she said, hands on hips, “I won’t
make the mistake twice.”

She would have bore a hole in the middle of
his forehead if she could. Jason hated to drag
his attention away from her and admit defeat
in this standoff, but dropped his gaze to look
at Sabrina again. If she had any idea of the

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turmoil surrounding her, he couldn’t tell.
She was lost in her own world.

He held his hand out. “C’mon, Sabrina,” he
called softly. “Let’s go home.” He couldn’t
stop looking at her on the drive there. What
was going on in her mind?

She didn’t answer even the most simple
questions, just kept up the incessant conver-
sation with some person or persons he
couldn’t see.

Laura suggested trying to anchor her back in
the real world by talking to her until the pre-
scription could be filled. Since she hadn’t
been dangerous, but coherent enough, they
had to honor her refusal of medications dis-
pensed by the hospital. He didn’t though, she
reminded him.

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“Get her those meds. Her mind will never
come back and stay in the world of reality
without them.”

So, he needed to talk to her. Except what to
say?

“I think you would have liked Thad,” he
tried. “He was a good guy despite his faults. I
think I mentioned that he swam like a fish,
but, Sabrina, you should have seen him.
There wasn’t a stroke he didn’t master.”

He remembered attending swim meets with
his parents, his heart swelling as he watched
his brother stretch ahead of the other swim-
mers. Making it seem as easy as breathing.

“And there wasn’t a person he didn’t like. He
was so popular in high school, the kind of
guy everyone wanted to be around. The thing
was, you couldn’t even envy him.

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He deserved to have people fawn over him. I
remember this one time these younger kids
were picking on the class loser. Michael, I
think. Thad handed me his stuff and stepped
in between them. Didn’t say a word. Just
stood there.” Jason paused, remembering
that day. Thinking his brother was going to
be toast in about two seconds.

“I don’t know what made them leave, but
they did. He didn’t exactly befriend Michael
afterward, but it stopped the jeering and that
made that kid look up to him like a god.

“I’m not like him. Never was. Thad saw be-
neath people’s exterior and knew the heart of
them. Me? I have to take forever to get to
know someone. Although I try to tell myself
not to judge a book by its cover, I don’t have
his ability to see the true person beneath,
you know?”

131/432

He kept talking, stories of Teddy spilling
from his mouth and making his chest hurt.
The buildup of memories. Of his brother’s
unrealized potential. If he’d gone with him
that day. All his brother had wanted to do
was talk. A conversation with his younger
brother that might have stopped him from
leaving this world.

37

Dee Carney

Jason’s eyes burned with the need to shed
tears, but he blinked them back and kept
talking. He told the woman who didn’t hear
him of the pranks they’d played. The girl-
friend who was Thad’s and then Jason’s
later.

Her words became more coherent now.
Home. Help. Him. An alliteration that made

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him smile. What was going through that
mind of hers right now?

Laura said she wasn’t a danger to herself or
to others. Just perhaps incapable of fending
for herself and needed monitoring in this
state. He wondered about her family.

If she had friends.

He couldn’t recall pictures around her apart-
ment, anything to clue him in that she had a
social life. He’d never seen her in the com-
pany of anyone else. Always by herself with
her nose buried in a book, perhaps.

“He’ll help me.”

Jason risked a glance at her. “Who, baby?
Who’s gonna help you?” A moment of sur-
prise followed his questions. Baby? It was
the endearment he used with previous girl-
friends. To use it with Sabrina, well, her sad

133/432

state coaxed it out of him. That had to be the
explanation.

“Love’s lost and never to be found again.
Murderers to be caught. Babies mourned.”

Her gibberish made him sit up from his
slump. He had a thought. “What are the
voices telling you? Are they telling you to
hurt yourself?”

“Take me to him.”

The car turned the corner on the road to
their building. He’d see her upstairs and try
to locate a twenty-four-hour pharmacy. He
spoke slowly, methodically. “We’re going.
But first, I need you to tell me about the
voices.”

“Felice needs you.”

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A chill shivered down his spine, and every
single hair on his arms rose. That name.

He recognized the woman’s name and it was
too coincidental that it would appear on the
automatic writing note, as well as for Sabrina
to speak it now. “How do you know that
name, Sabrina? Where did you see it?”

“I can’t help them,” she mumbled, facing
away from him.

“Tell me about Felice. Who is she?”

“He’s lonely there.”

“Felice. Concentrate on that name.”

She folded her arms over her chest, saying
nothing more.

Jason mentally urged the cabbie to go faster,
the urgency to get her home spiking his ad-
renaline. His palms grew sweaty, but he

135/432

gripped the seatback in front of him harder.
Who was Felice and why did her name resur-
face again to Sabrina?

He didn’t doubt his neighbor had some con-
nection to the world of the dead, but
something in him suggested her name was
important. If the automatic writing had been
38

Intimate Whispers

an attempt to contact Teddy, and if they’d
been successful, there was a message in that
name he needed to decipher.

I need some help here, bro. Who is Felice?

The car lurched to a stop and he jumped out,
heedless to cars swerving around the illegally
loitering cab. Jogging to the passenger side,
he pulled open her door and squatted in
front of her. “Hey, Sabrina? Look at me.” He

136/432

nudged her face gently when she didn’t. “Tell
me what the voices are saying to you.” She
looked past him, her gaze climbing the exter-
ior walls of their home. “He’s waiting for
me.”

Pulling back the curse simmering his blood,
Jason tried again. Felice and this guy she
kept referring to. They were important. He
knew it. “Tell me what they’re saying.

Help me understand what you are hearing
and I will get you to him.” He fell flat on his
ass when she shoved him aside. Scrambling
to his feet, he swiveled to find her. “Sabrina!”

She whirled, swaying as if she’d spent the
night drinking instead of under the watch of
ER nurses. “I need him!”

“Goddamn it, wait!” He started to sprint
after her, but yelling made him turn back.

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“Hey! You still owe me for the ride!”

Cursing a blue streak, Jason’s trembling
hands retrieved his wallet. He lifted two
twenties, balled them up and tossed them at
the growling cabbie. “Keep the change!” he
shouted as he took off after Sabrina.

Thank God it was the middle of the night.
Anyone who saw him chasing her inside
might get the wrong idea. Hell, for all he
knew, the cabbie might get curious and call
the police. Whatever. He’d deal with that
later.

Faster than he thought possible, Sabrina
took the stairs two at a time. Her legs moved
like an athlete’s, the climb to the fourth floor
barely a hindrance. By the time he hit the
second floor, he was already winded and had
no idea how she managed to keep going
without slowing.

138/432

Forcing down the burn, he kept moving,
stumbling on a few steps, but keeping him-
self upright with a death-grip on the banis-
ter. “Sabrina!” It didn’t matter who heard
him bellowing in the stairwell now. Laura’s
damn words echoed in his thoughts. “Her
mind will never come back and stay in the
world of reality without them. Get them to
her.”

Why did he insist on bringing her home
first? He should have gotten those meds.

Somehow made her take them.

Then again, if he had, would she have said
Felice’s name? Maybe this way she’d remem-
ber what was said in the morning. It was a
bitch of a way to think, but desperate times
called for desperate measures. He’d never
purposefully withhold her medications, but
his conscience would have to live with taking
advantage of a defenseless woman. Way to

139/432

be an asshole, but the guilt he’d have to deal
with later.

39

Dee Carney

He lost sight of her when she reached the
fourth floor. She threw open the stairwell
door and ran through the opening, heedless
to his cries. He was only twenty seconds be-
hind her, his chest heaving from exertion
when he pulled on the handle. For a split
second he thought he might have triggered
some sort of alarm, because a vibratory
boom thundered down the hallway toward
him. “Sabrina!” he called over the noise, at
once fearful for her.

The sight that greeted him sent goose bumps
racing over his flesh. Sabrina pounded on the
door of her apartment with double fists,
spreading that awful ruckus down the hall,

140/432

no doubt waking everyone on the floor. She
threw her weight into every one of those
swings, the force hard enough to probably
break her bones against the unyielding
metal.

“I need him!” she screamed over and over
again.

Who was in that apartment? Who did she cry
for with such desperation it made his heart
plummet into his stomach?

If he approached her in the same harried
state, it would do neither of them any good.
Despite every urge to take her and shake her
until her teeth rattled, he called down a
shower of calm and walked slowly. Strug-
gling to get his breathing under control,
Jason tried again. “Sabrina. Look at me.”
When she kept up the awful pounding, he
tried again. “Sabrina!”

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He’d never be able to put words to how he
got through, but she stopped to look at him.
Tears washed down her face. Red-rimmed
eyes stared at him, pleading silently for help.

Like talking to a wounded bird, he kept his
voice gentle. “What’s wrong, baby? Let me
help you.”

“Who’s in there?” he continued, walking as
slowly and smoothly as the tone of his voice.
Keeping his eyes above the level of the
doorknob she’d apparently not bothered to
try, he prayed like hell she’d left the door un-
locked. Her keys could be anywhere.

“I’ll help you.”

“I need him,” she whimpered before clamp-
ing her hands over her ears. Tears flowed
fast and furious now, the sight enough to
battle with his own emotions.

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Whatever spoke to her, didn’t just speak.
There was torture in her stance, in the way
she tried to block out the voices.

The gentle click of a doorknob turning came
from down the hall. He didn’t turn to face it,
but heard the questioning voice. “Is
everything okay out here?”

“Fine,” he replied, his voice like silk. Sabrina
stood stock-still in front of him, and he kept
moving slowly. She was calm now and he
planned on keeping her that way.

Deliberately, he let her see him reach toward
the knob. No quick actions. No threat to her.
He would only open the door. He hoped.

With another small prayer, he gripped the
knob and turned. His gut clenched when it
didn’t budge, but this wasn’t his first time at
this dance. God only knew how many times

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he’d locked himself out when he’d first
moved in until the maintenance man 40

Intimate Whispers

clued him in to a little-known secret. So long
as only the lock on the knob hadn’t been en-
gaged, there was still a way in. If she’d en-
gaged the deadbolt, a call to the locksmith
would be in order.

Jason reached into his back pocket and
whipped out his wallet. He retrieved a single
credit card. For some reason Sabrina
watched with rapt attention as he jimmied
the slim plastic in between the latch and the
jamb. A quick glance at her proved fat tears
still rolled down her face, but she seemed to
have acquired a measure of calm. Her astute
attention might have bothered him on any
other day, but today it centered him.

144/432

A puff of air escaped his mouth when after a
few minutes struggle, a loud click sounded.
He turned the knob again, the motion fol-
lowing through, and allowing him to open
the front door to her apartment all the way.
Sabrina let out a similar gasp of relief and
slid past him. Before she made it all the way,
she stopped and lifted her eyes to meet his.

He held his breath, no idea whatsoever what
to expect from her. The delicate placement of
her hand beneath his chin was the furthest
thing he expected to happen.

Until Sabrina elevated herself on her toes
and pressed her mouth to his.

Her lips were soft, a whisper of a kiss so awe-
inspiring its heat traveled straight down
through his toes. It warmed him through, his
body coming to life beneath that single place
of contact. At some point his eyes slipped
closed, and behind them, he saw heaven.

145/432

One simple kiss.

She pulled away and backed into her apart-
ment. Jason swallowed hard, knowing he
needed to stop her, to speak with this him-
person, but his emotions tilted back and
forth, his world completely off-kilter.

“Thank you,” she murmured, closing the
door.

Crossing the threshold as always muted the
voices. He was here, His presence alive and
humming through the apartment. For some
reason, she knew Jason still waited, but for
what she didn’t know.

Jason on one side of the door. Him on the
other.

She hesitated, needing to go to Him, but so
much wanting to return to Jason. He came
for her at the hospital. She remembered that.

146/432

How she got there eluded her, but her neigh-
bor brought her safely home.

Her neighbor. He was so much more than
that by now, wasn’t he?

Once again, selfless, he came to her rescue
and asked nothing in return. When in her
right mind, after paying penance in the bed-
room, she would seek him out and help him
with reaching his brother. She might not be
able to contact him, but she would do no less
than put forth sincere effort into trying.

For now, she needed Him and He waited.

41

Dee Carney

Naked, Sabrina walked into the bedroom,
her clothes a trail of breadcrumbs leading to
where they would meet. In here His presence

147/432

amplified, almost to the point she staggered
back. This was new. His words always an-
nounced Him—not this pulse of energy that
detonated within her.

You need me.

“Yes.” She nodded, crawling on all fours onto
the bed, not caring if the sheets were turned
down or clean. Just requiring that He put an
end to the voices again. They grew louder,
strangely. Their reverberating no, no, no
forming a headache at the base of her neck
and traveling up to meet at a pinnacle.

For the first time she questioned whether her
body was physically ready to accept Him, be-
cause she didn’t feel the same heaviness
between her thighs that normally signaled
her arousal. Her mind flashed to an image of
Jason. Of him beneath her as she crawled
over him. His cock erect and the swollen tip
glistening with a drop of his lust, waiting to

148/432

be sheathed within her. She imagined the
way he would watch her beneath hooded
eyes, his lips moist from heavy kissing. His
broad chest flushed from anticipation.

Sabrina.

His voice pulled her out of her musing, send-
ing a wash of shame flowing over her.

She’d never fantasized about another while
in His presence. Maybe helping Jason wasn’t
a good idea. Maybe the woman inside, the
one who longed for the touch of a real man,
the one who wanted to go on dates, who
wanted to be hugged and kissed didn’t need
the temptation. She’d never thought about it
before, but He probably wouldn’t be too
pleased with being usurped.

“Please,” she offered, by way of apology.
Bowing on her knees, she waited for Him to

149/432

take her as He always did. To make her come
again and again until He’d wrung her dry.

You do need me, Sabrina.

Her brows knitted. Although almost posed as
a question, there was no inflection in that
voice. No hint He expected an answer, but
something resonated within her. A test,
perhaps?

“I need you. Please.”

There was no warning. No preparation.

He impaled her with a vicious thrust and
ripped a scream from her throat. Sabrina fell
forward, trying to remove Him from her dry
body, needing just a few precious seconds to
allow arousal to make her ready for this.

She found no haven from Him.

150/432

His fingers found purchase on her shoulders,
digging in until she readied herself to hear
bone crack beneath the force. If not breaking
bones, at least a seepage of blood from where
He punctured her skin.

42

Intimate Whispers

There was pain. So much pain, she bit down
on her lip, fighting to keep the screams
muffled into the mattress lest she bring the
wrath of police or nosey neighbors tearing
into her sanctuary. There was agony so deep,
she broke the skin of her lip, and tasted the
copper pungency of her blood. The same
crimson tide that poured from her back and
shoulders and onto her linens.

Desperate for a reprieve, she kept biting.
Dared not beg for Him to stop or to tell Him
no. This was her penance. Her price to pay

151/432

for salvation. Instead, she cried out what she
had to know. “Why?” she gasped before
clamping down on her mangled lip again.

Him.

She didn’t understand at first. Him? What
did that mean?

Her lip was bloody and raw, but she refused
to let it go and question Him further.

She’d been down that road once before and
learned her lesson well.

But then she thought of the kiss. The sweet
taste of Jason against her mouth from only
minutes ago and she knew what brought on
this punishment.

You need me.

His voice, sibilant and malevolent, slipped
into her consciousness.

152/432

You need me.

Not for the first time she hated this. Hated
that she needed Him. Hated the voices.

Her life.

He pounded against her, not working toward
climax despite her body being at last recept-
ive to the invasion. He brought displeasure.
Exacted it from her.

Mine.

“Yes,” she moaned, tears filling her eyes. Un-
less she did something about it. She was His
until the forever embrace of death claimed
her. His.

Her mind drifted to Jason. To their innocent
kiss. To his deep-brown eyes.

153/432

She thought of him. Kept her mind focused
on her neighbor and waited for Him to be
done.

* * * * *

Shouting woke her up. “Sabrina!”

A warm hand clasped her shoulder, shooting
bright bursts of pain down her arms and
back. Tears filled her eyes, and the memory
of Him flooded back. The man called her
again. “Sabrina, Jesus, what happened? Who
did this to you?” Her parched throat barely
moved, but she squeezed his name out
between clenched teeth. “Ja…son.”

His hand lifted, but that was almost as bad
as when he touched her. More starbursts ap-
peared in front of her hazy vision. “I’m call-
ing for help. Who did this?” 43

Dee Carney

154/432

Hours upon hours of never-ending pain.
Every time she passed out, He woke her
again. Every muscle in her body ached.
Joints snapped when she drew her knees to-
ward her chest, curling in a ball, seeking
comfort. Her mind wrestled with Jason’s
words, his alarm. Blindly, she reached for
him. “No. No help…fine.” The mattress
dipped when he sat down on it. “No. Look at
you. The bed.” She looked up in time to see
the phone in his hand, fingers poised over
buttons.

“Please, Jason. Don’t.”

“Sabrina, this…” His worried gaze traveled
the upper portion of her nude body.

“We have to get you help. I’ll keep you from
whoever did this to you.” Placing a hand over
his took more effort than she thought pos-
sible. “No. I’ll be fine.

155/432

I…” She settled into the bed, almost not
caring if he stayed or left. All she wanted
right now was sleep. Precious, solitary sleep.
“Need to rest,” she mumbled.

Sleep claimed her before she heard his reply.

* * * * *

Her back was on fire. How much time had
passed? One hour? Two? Three?

The pain brought her around and she cried
out, turning to get away from the heat burn-
ing her alive. Someone stopped her, pressing
down until she stopped squirming.

“Shh…”

“Burns,” she moaned.

Streaks of searing pain kept moving, washing
down her back and shoulders. And she
thought she would die. Her lungs refused to

156/432

draw air, her brain too busy processing
shrieking sirens of alarm to remember the
need to breathe.

“It’ll get infected if I don’t clean it. Bear with
me for a few minutes, baby. I know it hurts.”

She wouldn’t survive the pain. It swallowed
her whole, peeling away her skin until only
raw, sensitive flesh lay open to air. Even
then, the fire would burrow deep, eating at
her until there was nothing left.

But it would take her from Him, wouldn’t it?
That was a comfort at least.

She closed her eyes.

* * * * *

Tears moistened her face, dampening the
pillow beneath. They might have been tears.
Or maybe sweat. The room was hot. Buried

157/432

beneath a comforter, she wondered briefly at
the name given the instrument of her as-
phyxiation. She tried to push it away, turn
her face toward the small gap of cool air
sneaking in, but lacked the strength.

Her back ached, and the memory of fire
made her gasp.

The bed moved, the comforter whisked out
of her way. “Take these.” 44

Intimate Whispers

Gummy eyes refused to open, so she had no
idea what these were or what he wanted her
to do with them. The comforter kept her
trapped, but she didn’t care. Sleep sounded
so wonderful. Just a perfect place to cradle
her head and spend an eternity.

Something rested on her lips. Her eyes
wouldn’t open, but her mouth moved until

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the little dry discs slipped inside. Bitterness
flooded her mouth, but hard glass pressed
against her lips before she could protest. De-
licious water, the best water she’d ever tasted
in her life, slid down her throat, overflowing
until it spilled onto her cheek and neck, but
oh, the wonderful water.

“Slow, Sabrina. Sip it.”

Sip. Gulp. Drown.

Beautiful, miraculous water.

She would have drunk until she floated away,
but it left before she was allowed that luxury.

Later, after she rested, she would taste more
of the water, but for right now, she wanted to
sleep. Just close her eyes and drift.

She did.

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Some time later she awoke. She didn’t know
how much time had passed. Maybe a few
minutes. It could have been hours. Time
meant nothing. He’d stopped hurting her
and that was all that mattered.

A moist cloth touched down on her eyes, her
mouth, her neck. She turned into it, follow-
ing the movement as best she could without
awakening the pain in her back.

“You’re awake.” Jason spoke softly, and al-
though her headache thumped, it didn’t flare
like before. Sabrina nodded, skeptical about
the strength of her voice.

“Hungry?”

She nodded again, this time managing to
open her eyes. He looked worried, and that
made her smile. There hadn’t been anyone in
her life close enough to be concerned about
her welfare in a long time.

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Sitting upright made her breath catch. Pain,
not as sharp as before, coaxed a groan from
her. He moved quickly, propping her against
a pillow, careful with his actions.

Forced to slump forward to keep her back
away from the rest, she let Jason position an-
other pillow across her abdomen. He did it
with a precision and efficiency that surprised
her.

She followed his exit out of the room with
her gaze, at once awed by his attention and
ashamed he found her in this position. The
sheets she lay upon had been changed,
whatever blood that had ruined them no
longer evident.

“Jason,” she managed to croak loudly. The
sounds from the kitchen stopped. “Why are
you here?”

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The microwave dinged, but no other sounds
issued. A drawer opened and shut a moment
later. More silence followed. Then Jason ap-
peared in the doorway, a mug in one hand
and a spoon in the other.

45

Dee Carney

He looked pensive, so he’d heard, but mused
over a response. Scooping some of the cup’s
contents into the spoon, he sat down on the
bed and held it out. “Eat some of this.”

This ended up being cream of mushroom or
maybe cream of chicken soup. The canned
kind she kept in her pantry for those rare oc-
casions she felt like making a casserole. It
went down smoothly, warming her throat
and belly along the way.

“Jason?”

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He fed her three more spoonfuls, ambrosia
of the gods she would have poured into her
mouth if she possessed the strength. “I
brought you home from the hospital,” he
replied after wiping the side of her mouth
with his finger.

She remembered that, but it didn’t explain
his presence in her apartment. “Why are you
here now?”

“They gave me a prescription for you.”

The little discs he’d given her… No, she
didn’t want to believe he’d given her the anti-
psychotic meds the doctors insisted would
drive the voices away. They hadn’t worked
for her as a child and they didn’t work now
as an adult either. All they did was produce
side effects that may or may not go away, the
doctor had explained. No thanks.

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“What did you give me? Those pills, what
were they?” She tried to keep the panic out of
her voice, but a faint note of hysteria reson-
ated. Food that tasted so good a minute ago
sank like lead.

“Tylenol.” He frowned. “I wouldn’t give you
anything else without your knowledge.” A
pause. “What happened here? Who hurt you
like this?” She kept her attention on the mug,
noting a chip along the rim. She’d have to
throw it away later. A picture of flowers dec-
orated the side. So faded, she had no idea
what kind they might have originally been.
How many other items in her apartment had
been bought in the first months of moving in
over five years ago, but never replaced des-
pite the passage of time?

“Sabrina, please. I honored your request not
to call the police, only so I could get the story
from you first. I still think they need to
know.”

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“No—”

“Do you know how worried I was? When you
wouldn’t wake up… Two days! Two days of
watching you and wondering like hell if I
made the right decision.” Had that much
time really passed?

He looked away. “I cleaned you up as best I
could. There was a lot of blood on your back.
And uh…” His voice dropped, horror creep-
ing into it. “You were… I think you were
raped. I know some women don’t want the
police to know when they’ve been assaulted
like that, but there’s nothing to be ashamed
of. It’s not your fault if some monster takes
advantage. Don’t let him get away with this,
please.”

“I wasn’t raped.”

“But there was…on the bed. Between your
legs.” 46

165/432

Intimate Whispers

She pressed her lips together to stem the
emotions ready to contort her face into a
mask of shame and regret. “I know what it
looked like and I appreciate your concern,
but I wasn’t raped. What I do with Him is al-
ways consensual. I always have a choice.”
Sort of. She had the choice between madness
induced by the voices or giving her body to
Him for a few hours of His pleasure. Not
much of a choice, but at least it existed.

“You’re not going to tell me who he is, are
you? Despite what he did to you.”

“It’s not something I can explain.” He
handed her the mug when she reached for it.

“What? You’re into some sort of masochism
or something? You think I wouldn’t under-
stand if you’re into some sort of games in the
bedroom? Games that leave you hurt and

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bloodied.” His voice thickened, concern so
palpable she looked up. “Do you have any
idea of the thoughts going through my mind
over the last forty-eight hours? I haven’t
slept since I got here, afraid that if I drifted
off for even a second, I’d awake to find you
gone. Dead. Me, here with you, knowing I
should have gotten help, but torn between
doing the right thing and respecting your
wishes. I sat up and watched you. I watched
you cry out in your sleep, I listened to you
whimper like a wounded animal. I held you
as you cried. Give me something. Something
that’ll ease my mind.” Her hands shook as
she brought the mug to her lips, swallowing
down large mouthfuls of the soup. It no
longer tasted like nirvana in a mug, but it
filled a hole like nothing else she’d ever
known. Placing it on the nightstand next to
her when done, she dared to lie on her side.
She patted the bed. “I’m tired, Jason, and
I’m fine. Lie here next to me for a little while.

167/432

Let’s get some sleep.” A fire burned in his
eyes, so she offered the only salve she could
think of at the moment. “Rest with me and
let’s talk when we wake up. You can go to
sleep now without worrying about me. I
promise.” She watched him wrestle with
himself, still vacillating between his role as
hero and savior and his role as friend. He
needed to rest, she could tell. Days-old
stubble grew over his face. His clothes were
wrinkled and had the faint odor of old sweat
on them.

“You don’t look fine.”

His surliness brought another smile. “I
don’t?” Jason didn’t smile back. “No, you
don’t. And I’m not even talking about the
wounds on your back. You look sick. Like
you haven’t slept in a week. I wouldn’t be
surprised if you’re running a fever.”

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Pressing her wrist to her forehead disputed
his claim. “The Tylenol would mask any fever
I might have.”

“I’m worried about infection, among other
things. Please, let me get you some help.”

She closed her eyes, cutting off sight of his
worry. “I’m going to sleep now. When I wake
up, I hope you’ll be here resting next to me. I
want to pay you back for your kindness when
I awake.”

“Not necessary,” he muttered.

47

Dee Carney

“I know.”

But she would. If it was the last thing she
did, she’d help him get in contact with Thad.

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* * * * *

He breathed easily in his sleep. Rhythmic
sounds she listened to with rapt attention.

He couldn’t have been comfortable in a shirt
and jeans, but always the gentleman, this
neighbor friend, exhaustion claimed him be-
fore he chose to remove them.

The new growth on his chin gave him a
rugged appeal she could grow used to. And
why had she never noticed before now the
long curl of his lashes, resting against his
cheeks?

Jason possessed a strong profile. The
straight slope of his nose worth running her
finger over. A chiseled jawline the stuff
artists dreamed of.

Someone slept in her bed. Rested next to her.
Something He would never be capable of

170/432

doing, nor was she so sure she ever wanted
Him to do. But this, having Jason next to
her, brought with it a sense of security. A
growing feeling of belonging. It wasn’t hers
to claim, true, but it hovered there
nonetheless.

She dared to reach out to him, hesitated, but
then laid her hand across his abdomen, flat
and slowly rising and falling in perfect calm.
In his sleep, Jason covered her hand with his
own, the rhythm of his breathing never
faltering.

Sabrina inched her body closer to his, work-
ing methodically, watching and listening for
any change in his level of consciousness. At
last, she was able to press herself against his
side to place her head on his shoulder.
Jason’s hand tightened around hers and for
just a little while, she reveled in the presence
of another person next to her. She breathed
in his air, listened to breathing that bordered

171/432

on snoring, and gently squeezed his hand
too.

So fleeting this sense of contentment, she
would enjoy it for as long as it lasted.

48

Intimate Whispers

172/432

Chapter Four

Jason paced the door outside of her bath-
room, stopping every few minutes to make
certain no other noise than the water hitting
the tiled shower floor escaped. Why had he
agreed to let her in there by herself?

Those wounds still looked like death on her
back despite four additional days of Tylenol
and alcohol baths. A full week since her at-
tack had passed, each day bringing a
stronger Sabrina with it. Her lovely brown
skin hadn’t been marred before, and to see
the bluish-black circles turned his stomach
sour. How could any man do that to another
person—much less a woman—and live with
himself? Thank God most of the damage
came from bruises, but the others…they
looked as if someone had driven nails into
her.

He’d managed to pass a few of the newer
projects to some of the firm’s independent
contractors who were greedy for work. Other
business he managed to keep afloat from the
convenience of his laptop. Another day or
two, though, and he’d have to request vaca-
tion time or at least put in an appearance.
Even salesman in the field weren’t immune
from some office time.

That decision he’d make later. For now, he
wanted answers from Sabrina. But no matter
how he pleaded, he couldn’t get her to tell
him who’d done this to her. The topic of the
police instantly made her lips seal into a firm
line, unopenable until he changed the
subject.

He glanced at the clock radio. Three more
minutes and he was going in. She could be as
shy as she wanted to be, but face it, he’d seen
every intimate part of her over the last week

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of sponging her down in the bed, and then
later, helping her in and out of the bathroom.

With three loud raps against the wood frame,
he gave her the countdown to his intrusion.

“All right!” she called surly.

Fine. At least she wasn’t in there slumped
over in pain, unable to call for help or
something worse. The few times he’d gone to
his place to gather replacement clothes and
toiletries had filled him with so much dread,
pain filled his chest to the point he ran back
across the hall to check on her. Every time
she’d been there, either sleeping or reading,
maybe watching television, and making him
feel like an idiot for his worry. So far, she
hadn’t exhibited any symptoms of hearing
voices, but he walked on eggshells around
the idea they would eventually come back.

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The theme song to Mission Impossible
played in pleasant tones and he glanced to-
ward his cell phone lying on her bureau. He
backed up to it, reached out blindly until he
grasped the thing in his hand, all the while
keeping his attention on that door. Only see-
ing Sabrina emerge through it would ease
the knot in his stomach.

49

Dee Carney

Without reading the display, he barked into
it, “Yeah?”

“Why, hello stranger.”

Fuck. “Hey, Kelly.”

“Is that all I get?” She laughed. “Hey, Kelly?”
The shower cut off and heart thumping, he
moved closer to the bathroom door.

176/432

“What’s up?”

“Whoa, I can’t get you to stop talking today.
Anyway, I hadn’t heard from you in a while,
and just wanted to check up on how things
are going.” He put his other ear to the door,
satisfied when he heard movement beyond.
“Not much happening on this end.”

“I stopped by your place yesterday, but you
weren’t home.”

“I’m not home now.” And why did he just ad-
mit that?

“Oh?”

“Yeah. I’m with a friend.”

“A friend…anyone I know?”

“Uh, yeah, listen, I gotta run.”

177/432

The door opened and Sabrina walked out, a
towel wrapped around her body. A misty
cloud floated around her, giving her an eth-
ereal aura. Kind of like what he expected to
see on no less than an angel.

Her skin was damp, some escaped tendrils
from the bun in her hair dripping water onto
her shoulders. There was a fresh innocence
about her, the way her exotic hazel eyes
smiled at him without pretense or cunning.
Just short of annoyed, but with a hint of
gratitude in them.

His mouth dried up and he wanted to kiss
her again. Feel the gentle caress of her lips
against his, the same as the night she offered
her thanks. Only instead of thanks, he
wanted her surrender. A giving of herself
that he suspected she didn’t ever offer. He’d
earned the privilege of breaking down the
barrier she erected and wondered if she felt
the same. A single kiss.

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“Jason, what’s going on?”

So lost in the fantasy standing before him,
he’d forgotten he still held the phone to his
ear. Kelly’s voice startled him. “I’ll catch you
later, okay?” he murmured.

He clicked the phone shut before waiting for
her reply. Kelly was a part of his past, and
standing before him, perhaps—just per-
haps—stood the doorway to a future.

“Did you need to take that call? You don’t
have to wait on me hand and foot, you
know.” She blessed him with a lopsided
smile. At what point had he crossed the line
where a flash of her white teeth went from
merely making him smile too, to making his
pulse race?

Shaking his head, he shrugged. “Just Kelly.
I’ll call her later.”

179/432

“The blonde?” A flash of darkness crossed
her features.

50

Intimate Whispers

“Yeah.” He furrowed his eyebrows, not quite
getting the sudden chill he sensed.

“What’s wrong?” She moved toward the bur-
eau, sidestepping him without touching.

He fought down an urge to move closer, per-
haps bring her into his embrace. “Sabrina?”
With a yank, she opened one of the drawers
and rifled through it. “Send her my thanks
for letting you stay. I suppose you need to go
now.” Not wanting to risk aggravating her in-
jury, he pulled on the towel until she either
had to follow it closer to him or lose it alto-
gether. “Letting me stay? I stayed because I
wanted to.”

180/432

Slowly, she asked, “And she knew what you
were doing?”

“What does it matter if—”

“Oh my God, please tell me your girlfriend
knows you’ve been sleeping in my bed, even
if nothing happened.” She threw her hands
in the air. “And now that I’m saying it out
loud, I can’t believe I let you.”

Something rose within him, snapping off his
restraint and demanding he admit his de-
sires. Before doubts and second thoughts
formed an alliance, Jason gave in. In one for-
ward motion, he pulled her close, studying
those delicious lips and knew as sure as he
knew his own name, within the next few
seconds, they were his to claim.

“She’s not my girlfriend,” he growled. His
eyes caught hers and he swore he saw heat in
them. Desire to kiss and be kissed. To be

181/432

made love to. Some force compelled him to
lower his mouth, his entire being wanted her
compliant body beneath his. His own desire
burning strong.

With a jerk, he pulled himself away.

No.

Not like this. Not after her assault.

He swallowed hard, breathing through the
scent of the woman in front of him. The
clean aroma driving him insane with want.

Her lips quirked into a mischievous smile.
“What’s wrong?” Besides the fact he was a
fucking bastard? “Nothing.”

“You sure? I thought you were about to…kiss
me.” Guilt punched him, an uppercut to the
jaw. “I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

182/432

“Being born with a penis. It does a lot of the
thinking for me, usually at the wrong time.”

She giggled. “Oh?” Her eyes glittered danger-
ously. “Then what’s my excuse?” His turn.
“For what?”

In one dizzying blur of movement, Sabrina’s
lips

crushed

his.

One

of

them

whimpered—he couldn’t tell who, nor did he
care—before she lifted her hands to his
shoulders. Jason stepped closer, knowing he
should stop, his body screaming to keep go-
ing. Despite the agony of doing so, he let his
mind win and pulled away.

51

Dee Carney

Sabrina stared up at him, her mouth swollen
and moist. Her eyes wide with surprise. Dark

183/432

with need. “You’re sure she’s not your girl-
friend?” A breathless challenge.

“Yes, I’m sure.” To prove a point, his mouth
captured hers again. A sense of urgency
drove him. A need that shattered all precon-
ceived ideas, all notions of confusion or im-
propriety with this woman. If only this once,
he needed her. She projected an energy, a
powerful compulsion that drew him in and
he’d be damned if he fought it now.

Sabrina’s breath whooshed out of her, prob-
ably escaping from the way he squeezed her
body tight against his. A warning bell in the
back of his mind reminded him of her injur-
ies, and he listened to it because while her
body he would claim later, for right now, he
burned for her kiss.

She tasted of mint and like the aroma of soap
drifting from her—clean. He swept his
tongue into her mouth, drinking down the

184/432

moan the motion urged out of her. His
mouth traveled over hers, massaging, kiss-
ing, worshiping her lips.

All of his frustration, his worry of the past
few days flowed out of him in that moment.
All of his concern. From the instant he recog-
nized her vulnerability at the hospital to the
times she watched him bathe her with all the
tenderness he knew how to show.

He knew her body. The soft spot on her belly
that sent her into fits of laughter with the
slightest touch. The elusive spot behind her
knee that made her breath catch, her breasts
rising in a display of wanton excitement. But
her lips had been off-limits. And being so
close to them, remembering the feel of them
but being denied, stoked an ache deep inside.

So he kissed her now. Poured all of himself, a
growing desire into the way he held her. In
the

featherlight

caresses.

It

was

an

185/432

awakening experience that left him reeling in
shock. When had she snuck into his con-
sciousness and soothed his fears? A powerful
hunger for Sabrina coiled in his body, sup-
pressed and simmering until now, it boiled
over, wild and untamed. Ready to devour
them both.

“You don’t have to do this.”

“Oh, but I want to,” she purred. “But what
about you? Are you sure…”

“I’m here because I want to be,” he said.
Whatever he’d been about to say next van-
ished. His gaze dropped for just long enough
to take in the sight of her naked breasts, the
unraveled towel curled on the floor at her
feet.

So caught up in caring for her over the past
few days, so focused on maintaining a sense
of propriety and clinical detachment when

186/432

bathing her, he’d turned off a switch that al-
lowed him to see her as a woman. A beautiful
seductress. But now, his blood simmering,
the taste of her still in his mouth, it all came
roaring back with a vengeance.

What he saw now rocked him.

“Fuck me,” he whispered. A rush of heat
filled his cheeks the second the words
slipped out. “I’m sorry…I didn’t…”

52

Intimate Whispers

She pressed a finger to his lips, her own
mouth quirked up in smile. “Shh. If you
really don’t have a girlfriend, I just might be
convinced to do just that.” He kissed her fin-
gertip. “And you?”

“Me?”

187/432

“You won’t tell me about him, the one who
did this to you.” His gaze traveled to a visible
mark on her shoulder. “But I assume you’re
in a relationship of some kind.” Her jaw
tightened. “It’s not what you think.”

“That’s the thing though, I don’t know what
to think.” More hope appeared in her eyes.
“He’s no one to me. No one.” Jason wrestled
with that declaration. While he felt closer to
her over the last few days than any woman in
a very long time, this violent man stood
between them, a nine-hundred pound gorilla
in the room. Stealing a kiss had been a risk
he’d been willing to take, but what would
taking things further mean for both of them?
For her physical safety, more so than his.

“He’d give you up?”

“All I have to do is ask.”

“But why then—”

188/432

“Jason? Kiss me again.”

He didn’t need to be told twice. Jason’s lips
found their way instinctively to hers, sweep-
ing over them in broad strokes that started at
one side until he’d explored all the way to the
other. But then he remembered the upturned
nipples, the soft skin of her rounded breasts
and he wanted to feast on them, taste and ex-
plore her with his mouth.

A naked woman stood in his arms, a trip to
heaven ready to be embarked upon.

Tasting her skin, tracing an invisible path, he
slid his tongue down her neck, learned the
indentation above her collar. He kept his
hands on her waist, his mouth the only in-
strument he needed. Her body arched up to
him and he accepted her offering, pulling in
the taut tip of her nipple. She cried out, a
small sound that tugged on his testicles and
spurred him to suckle harder. His cock

189/432

swelled within the confines of his clothing,
an impatient ache of readiness to find a
home within her.

The path to her navel, the silky curve of her
belly called to him. Blind, he followed, tra-
cing with his tongue, nipping with his teeth.
He dropped to his knees, knowing the trail
didn’t end. Below there, her rounded mound,
covered with fine, dark curls, awaited.

He looked up, one last chance for her to deny
him, to halt this progression from friends to
lovers, but there was tenderness in Sabrina’s
eyes. Hazy desire in the way she looked down
on him.

Trembling thumbs rested on her pussy and
opened her to him, exposed the delicate pink
hidden beneath her pubic hair and swollen
brown lips. Displayed the swollen nub that
was the object of his intent.

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53

Dee Carney

Sabrina bucked when he captured her clit in
his mouth, toying her erect pearl with his
tongue. Gentle flicks, bold suction, tiny
scrapes of his teeth signaled a flood of mois-
ture to seep onto her thighs and spill out for
him to taste and indulge in. He kissed her
pussy, his tongue pulling her fragrant juices
until he drank his full. And still he licked
more. She trembled violently and he knew an
orgasm hovered just out of reach.

Fingers curled tight in his hair pressed him
closer, encouraged him to send her over the
edge of the earth.

Her harsh breathing in between her soft cries
was almost enough to make him extend this
erotic torture, but she chased the sensation,
her hips swirling and rocking beneath his

191/432

hands. Her body chasing his tongue. The
grip in his hair tightened, her other hand
joining the first and held him there and he
worked her pussy. Worked her clit and he
felt her tense. Scant seconds before a scream
filled the air, he puckered his lips and blew.

Sabrina’s hoarse cry sent more adrenaline-
inspired surges into his heart. His pulse
raced to keep up and he held her there.
Coaxed her through orgasm until she floated
down from her high, his name an erotic sigh
on her lips. He gave her a moment to steady
herself on shaky legs, before rising and re-
warding her display with a kiss.

“Are you okay?” He chuckled. Self-satisfac-
tion split his mouth with a grin that
stretched from ear to ear.

She choked out laughter. “I’d say way more
than okay.”

192/432

“Good.”

The tangy taste of her lingered in his mouth
and he ran his tongue over his lips, drawing
in the remnants. If he had a say in the mat-
ter, she would be spending a lot of time
wrapping her thighs around his head. Her
taste inspired him.

A sudden movement had Sabrina pushing
him toward the bed. Backing up per her non-
verbal instructions, he quirked a brow when
the backs of his knees hit the bed. “Did you
have something specific in mind?”

“Oh yeah,” she murmured, hands unlooping
his belt.

They worked quickly together, discarding his
clothing at a frantic pace. Despite his body’s
readiness, his mind tried to maintain some
semblance of control. “You’re not ready for
this, Sabrina. Your back is barely healed and

193/432

what was done to you… We can stop here
and I’m okay.”

“No way.” His shirt hit the floor. “I’m not as
delicate as you think.” He toed off first one
shoe, then the other. “You have nothing to
prove to me.” She lifted her eyes. “Other than
how much I want to do this with you, you’re
right.” Her hands brushed against his
strained erection, still trapped by his cloth-
ing, and Jason gritted his teeth. “You could
get hurt.”

“No, I won’t.” Her mouth pressed to his and
he vowed to himself she wouldn’t.

54

Intimate Whispers

Cock pointing the way to heaven, he sat
down hard on the bed and curled his hands
into the comforter. Sabrina stood before

194/432

him, an angelic smirk on her face, but the
horns of the devil lending a wicked glint to
her eyes.

“I should go get some condoms from my
apartment.” Already ahead of him it seemed,
she shook her head. “I’ve got some here and
I’m safe. I assume you are as well?”

He gave her another smile. “Everything’s
safe and in working order here.” That made
her laugh. She was still smiling when she left
to retrieve the condoms from a drawer.

Returning to her previous position over him,
she crawled forward, her thighs straddling
his, and gripped his dick with one hand. In
one efficient move, his cock was covered in
latex by hands that threatened to make him
lose control.

They locked eyes when she lowered, the tip
of his cock spearing her. The same lovely

195/432

hazy look he’d come to desire filled her face
the further down she sank.

Watching her gave him a focal point, other-
wise he’d succumb to a groan of abandon
filling her body brought him.

In the pale light of the room, he marveled at
the way her body glowed next to his.

And for the first time, he had some idea of
what Teddy always saw in people. The way
he delved past the superficial and found the
heart of a soul. In Sabrina, he saw it. Not a
black woman. Not a woman emotionally
damaged. But a soul. With brave valor, the
essence of a warrior that went down through
to the heart of her.

She rocked over him, her hips moving slowly
at first. This was lovemaking, no matter how
he wanted to name it. The frequent touches
of her hand to his face. The slow press of his

196/432

lips to her neck and breasts. The way their
eyes met and spoke to each other, without a
word passing through their mouths.

Sweat trickled down his sides, a sheen of it
also covering her skin. In the base of her
throat, she made these incredibly erotic
sounds that pulled at his testicles, calling for
him to spill inside of her, but he held himself
back. Watched the way she gave herself over
and over again to orgasm, those wringing
pulses of her pussy that urged him to come
with her.

Gently, tenderly he pushed into her, helping
keep a lovely rhythm. He would have been
satisfied with this simple union of their bod-
ies, of watching her tremble and shudder in
his arms, but he had more of himself to give.
The essence of himself, the tightening in the
base of his cock that he would let flow after
she lay spent and satisfied in his arms. The

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moment her heart opened to him, he would
find sweet release in her womb.

“Sabrina,” he whispered, his mouth brushing
against the fleshy part of her neck. It was
sweet agony to push into her so slowly, care-
ful of her wounds.

“God, yes,” she moaned.

55

Dee Carney

“Trust me with your secrets, baby.” There
was so much more to this woman than what
she allowed him to see. If they were to move
forward together, she had to let him in. The
voices. The rape that was not rape. He had to
know more.

Her eyes filled with tears and she blinked
them back. He expected them to spill down

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the sides of her face when she closed her
eyes. None fell. “Jason, no.”

“Trust me.” He kissed her again and again.
Sipped at her skin, drank down her moans.
His thrusts grew urgent, a spiraling sensa-
tion of impending loss of control filling him
and refusing to let go. He tightened his fra-
gile rein, but he had to have it.

This one thing he needed from her. “Trust
me. I’ll keep them for you.”

“I can’t,” she complained.

He pushed back the hair hiding her face be-
fore kissing her chin. As calm as ever, he
tried to make her understand. “I promise,
you can.” Tremors racked her body and he
gave her himself. Offered her calm in a
storm.

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Comfort against a decision she didn’t want to
wrestle. He couldn’t imagine a secret so of-
fensive, so heartrending that she insisted on
separating him from it. So he showed her
that it didn’t matter. Whatever it was, they
would work through together, but she had to
let him in.

She arched, then shuddered, another hoarse
cry ripping from deep within her. So re-
sponsive his lover, he almost tumbled after
her into orgasm’s embrace. Instead, Jason
fought her body’s insistent pull and rode the
crest of yet another wave. That made five,
maybe six times already?

He lowered his torso against the bed, the
better to luxuriate in watching her lips part
as she panted. Her body shone with perspir-
ation, the rise and fall of her breasts a feast
for his eyes. Heat ripped through his cock,
her silken sheath milking him until he
thought he would lose himself inside her.

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The very soul of him released through where
they were joined.

Sabrina’s hips rocked and he watched her, a
sinuous dancer who’d mastered her art. “You
are beautiful,” he murmured, for she was. Al-
ways her eyes captivated him, but looking
upon her now, her graceful movement and
flawless body amazed him.

“And one day you’ll trust me…” Her face
clouded with uneasiness and he hurried to
soothe it away. “You’ll open up to me and be
impossibly, wonderfully more beautiful to
me then than you are right now.”

Her eyes darkened with mystery and he
hoped he touched something within her.

Gave her something to ponder and maybe
accept.

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But as his balls tightened, a sure signal of the
inevitable expulsion of his seed, she cupped
her breasts and looked down on him. She
smiled such a sweet smile and sighed such
an erotic sound, he wondered if he’d just
lied.

With the first pulse of his cum, a shock wave
that lifted his hips and drove his cock deeper
into her, his hazy mind didn’t believe for a
moment that Sabrina’s beauty, as she
writhed above him, could ever, ever be
outdone.

56

Intimate Whispers

* * * * *

Is it truly possible she’d forgotten this? It
didn’t seem possible. Yet she must have for
she clung to the intimate togetherness, the

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sleepy after-sex pillow-talk with a despera-
tion that surprised even herself.

Jason lay on top of her, his torso wedged
between her thighs, his head resting on her
belly. He always remained mindful of her
back despite how she moved with relative
ease now. Only sudden jerks had the power
to rip a gasp from her. With good reason, she
kept those to a minimum.

She stroked his hair as he talked. “Tell me
more,” he murmured, his lips caressing her
skin. It turned her on, just like almost
everything else he’d done in the past two
days. Two amazing days.

“More about what?”

He lifted his head. “About you. About your
life.”

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“And what more should I tell you? I’ve gone
through my childhood, my hobbies, my job.”
She’d told him about her favorite books,
movies and songs. She told him about the
modest trust fund, which allowed her the
freedom to take on website design projects at
her whim. He knew everything about her un-
dergraduate schooling, and her original goal
of being a teacher until the voices took that
option away.

“I want to know everything.” The sweeps
across her belly grew more amorous.

“Everything, huh?” Despite the hint of
amusement in her tone, her heart filled with
dread. Of course, she couldn’t tell him
everything. Everything was too dark. Too de-
pressing. Too filled with Him. She couldn’t
tell him she took the Pill religiously, terrified
His semen was viable. She had no idea how
to explain in a few days, she would need time
to herself—time devoted to Him. Time when

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she’d probably pay, once again, for daring to
be with Jason.

One day perhaps she’d tell him everything,
but not now. Not so early in a relationship
still trying out shaky legs.

A relationship. How she loved the sound of
that.

“Why don’t you tell me more about Thad, in-
stead?” she suggested. “I never did get what
the message he sent you meant.”

A heaviness settled over Jason, the change
by no means subtle. She hated broaching the
subject with him, but she had to know. If she
reached out to Thad later, Jason needed to
arm her.

Her hand continued its gentle rifle through
his hair. Soothing maybe a little of the
heartbreak.

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“When we were kids, we fought like cats and
dogs. I mean, just nasty stuff.” He raised
himself on his arms, supporting the weight
of his head on balled-up fists. “How we made
it past the age of ten I’ll never know. Goes to
show God really does watch out for children
and puppies.” He paused when she laughed.
Her mother often said the 57

Dee Carney

same. “Beyond the fist fights, if I wanted to
get his goat, I mean to the point he went bal-
listic, I’d call him the pet name my mother
gave him.”

“Ballistic? What kind of name could have
been so bad?”

“Teddy.”

“Aww, that’s cute!”

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“Tell that to a ten-year-old boy out to prove
he’s a man.”

“Good point.” Jason dipped his head for an-
other one of those kisses on her belly,
mouthing suspiciously close to her mons.
This kiss had the word wicked spelled over it.

“I want to hear the rest of the story,” Sabrina
admonished.

Appropriately chastised, he lifted his head.
“There’s not much more to tell.

Whenever I started in on the teasing, espe-
cially during a good fistfight, I’d be sure to
scream ‘teddy bear!’ over and over again.
Didn’t matter if he was pummeling the snot
out of me. It was all about making him mad-
der.” He laughed for the first time. “He used
to get so mad. I mean, red in the face, on the
verge of tears, angry. All the while he’d say
over and over again ‘I’m not your teddy

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bear’.” A flimsy association, but still. Softly
she said, “But what aren’t you telling me
about his death, Jason? Why are you so des-
perate to get in touch with him?” He didn’t
look up. “What things aren’t you telling me?”
he asked with a slightly bitter tone.

Touché.

In other words then, their relationship had
lots of room to grow. One of them had to
take the first step, though. It couldn’t be her.
Somehow she’d just keep the worlds of Jason
and Him separated.

Wrong? Yes. Deceitful? Yes.

But what choice did she have?

“That was a cheap shot, Sabrina. I’m sorry.”

Did she call those kisses on her mons wicked
before? He started them again, only this time

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burning a trail farther down—his way of apo-
logizing, she guessed—and they were down-
right sinful.

Accepting the way he spread her thighs, she
closed her eyes and let the first blossom of
pleasure spread outward like ripples on a
lake.

“We’ll get there soon enough, Jason. Don’t
worry.” Until then, he’d keep his secrets.
She’d keep hers. Never the twain shall meet.

Oh yes, she thought to herself, the sounds of
his mouth’s movement muffled by her flesh,
a vibrant orgasm already swiftly rising, never
the twain shall meet.

* * * * *

“You can’t keep calling out from work for me.
I appreciate it, Jay, I really do, but stop it,
okay?”

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58

Intimate Whispers

His eyes lifted to meet hers. Once again bus-
ted for staring at her ass and not paying at-
tention. She tried to give him a disapproving
look, but who was she kidding? She loved it
when he got all googly-eyed from studying
that part of her anatomy. “What?”

“Stop. Calling. Out.”

His ears reddened. “I have more leave than a
little bit. I can afford to call out.”

“That’s not the point,” she insisted. The
wounds had healed over, leaving nasty scabs
behind, but soon they too would fall away.
None of the voices reappeared as yet, so for a
little while longer, she felt safe. At least well
enough to pursue finding out more about
Thad. To do that, though, Jason had to go

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back to work and give her some privacy.
When they weren’t at his place, they were at
hers. Always together. Her own ears heated
to think about how much of that time was
spent in bed. And not sleeping.

He reached forward to capture her arms.
Pulling her into his lap was child’s play.

Now clean-shaven, his jaw brushed against
the sensitive skin of her neck when he spoke,
dotting blazing kisses in between his words.
“That’s what leave is for.

Vacations.”

“Vacation?” she snorted. “What kind of vaca-
tion is this for you?” Waggling his eyebrows
made her laugh. “Let’s be clear. I have no
problem with the way I’m spending my vaca-
tion. People are paying good money for all-
inclusive hotels and running the risk of a

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severe case of the runs on cruise ships, but
not me.”

“No?”

“Nuh unh,” he replied after a brief nuzzling.
“I’ve got my own private resort right here.”

That sent a shiver down her spine. It
shouldn’t have, but there it was. His growing
erection trapped beneath the seat of her ass
didn’t discourage her ardor either.

She peeked at the doorway leading to the
bedroom, chewed on her lip and contem-
plated. One more day together couldn’t hurt
anything. One more day of screaming or-
gasms and hot, sweaty sex. The kind that left
him drippy and panting. Left her limp and
sated.

Already her nipples tightened in anticipa-
tion. One more day, they encouraged her.

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One more very, very good day.

“That may be,” she forced through her tight
throat because His next visit weighed down
on her. Any day now. “But you also have a
job I don’t want you to lose.

Especially because of me.” Turning, she
made him stop nibbling along her skin to
face the seriousness of the situation. “I’m
fine and you can’t stay at my side forever.”
Jason blew out a breath. He looked more
worried than ever, but nodded. “Fine.” She
patted his hand before rising. “Finish your
muffin. Go to work. I’ll be here when you get
back.”

Watching him down the rest of his breakfast
was sensual in itself. Jason ate everything as
if he’d never see food again, relishing every
bite. “What are you going to do today?”

59

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Dee Carney

It would do neither of them any good to get
his hopes up. Let him think about almost
anything than her attempts to reach Thad
without him. The few times she got him to
speak about his brother, the conversation
had been strained.

“Business has been slow lately. I’ll scope
some potential work out and maybe hit pay
dirt.”

“It would drive me crazy to do freelance
work. I like a nice, steady paycheck coming
in every week.”

“That’s because you’re anal.” Understate-
ment of the year. Who folded the ends of the
toilet paper into triangles every single time
they used it? Hotel housekeepers had noth-
ing on him.

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He straightened. “I’m fastidious. There’s a
difference.” Sabrina found herself snorting
again. “If you say so.” Puckering her lips, she
blew him a kiss. “I’m serious. Go on. Go to
work. I’ll be here. I don’t plan on doing
much, really. When you get home, you’ll be
bored to tears by my recap.” True to his
nature, he stood and headed toward the sink
with his empty plate and glass. Washing and
drying them took no time at all. “There’s one
way we can solve that.”

“That?”

“Your recap.”

“Ah,” she said in between sipping the re-
mains of her coffee. “And what would that
be?”

“Well, I wouldn’t object at all if you were in
the nude while you told me about your day.”

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Her laughter echoed around the dining
room. “You’re incorrigible. And insatiable.”
She waited until he headed toward his bed-
room before wondering aloud. “How did I
get so lucky?”

Jason turned, flashed her another of his
mysterious smiles and exited the room.

By the time he actually left for work an hour
later, she was a ball of nerves. Dead certain
he knew what she was up to and would have
her ass on a stick the second he busted her.

Shaking hands barely had enough control to
put out the implements she needed.

Candle, pen, paper, anointed oil. A picture of
Thad she borrowed from Jason’s place with
every

intention

of

returning

it

once

successful.

216/432

He would kill her when he found out, but she
was taking her chances. Other than some
phenomenal sex where he took more pleas-
ure out of making her shudder beneath him,
she’d yet to show her gratitude for taking
care of her.

“C’mon Teddy,” she muttered. “If you really
want to talk to your brother, I need your
help.”

60

Intimate Whispers

In one, maybe two days more, the voices
would start. That had to mean she was re-
ceptive to speaking with the dead. Or actu-
ally, they were receptive to speaking with
her.

Lights dimmed, she sat down at the table
where they’d eaten earlier, pen in hand.

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She studied the picture of the two men, not-
ing every resemblance between the two. The
picture suppressed their eye color, but the
shape of their eyes, the shape of their faces
couldn’t be hidden. No one who saw the two
together could mistake they were family.

Same height and build, Jason slung an arm
over Thad’s shoulder. Reid, the third brother
Jason spoke less of, had two fingers behind
Jason’s head.

They looked happy together until she looked
closer at Thad’s face. He seemed sad, despite
the obvious joking happening in the picture.
Something about the way his mouth turned
down, even while smiling, made it seem that
more disingenuous. Thad might as well have
been interacting with two strangers instead
of his brothers. His stance suggested he’d
bolt at the very first opportunity.

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Things hadn’t gone very well the last time
she tried automatic writing, but Sabrina felt
a little more prepared. The small gold cross
her mother bestowed on her at her twelfth
birthday hung from a thin gold chain around
her neck. Almost forgetting, she put down
the pen and picked up the glass bottle. She
poured a little of the anointed oil into her
palm and dipped her fingers into it. The
same fingers drew a crude cross on her fore-
head, another at the juncture beneath her
clavicles.

“Heavenly Father, look down on me. Guide
and protect me. Bring only to me the spirits
who are here to help. Here to love. Protect
me from those who would do me harm. So
mote it be.”

The words were some jumble of Christianity,
Wicca and good old-fashioned make-it-up-
as-you-go. Before meeting Jason, she hadn’t
tried to actually conjure someone’s spirit

219/432

from the dead in at least fifteen years. The
outcome was too unpredictable. At least
when she’d tried this the last time, the only
thing the spirit that temporarily possessed
her had tried to do was make out with Jason.
Spirit had good taste at least.

Blowing out a breath, she picked up the pen
and went for broke.

“Thad Raines. Teddy Raines. Come to me.
Let my hand be your tool. Speak to your
brother, Jason, who waits for your words.”

Eyes closed, pen poised over paper, she let
out another cleansing breath and waited.

* * * * *

The cell phone lying next to the office phone
vibrated with sufficient tension to make it
walk across the desk. Jason snatched it up.
“Hello?”

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“Yo, bro. Where you been?”

Reid. Calling his cell phone was out of char-
acter. “Hey. Why didn’t you try my office
number? Everything okay with Mom and
Dad?” 61

Dee Carney

“Yeah, they’re cool. I had been trying your
office number, but it kept going to
voicemail.”

Jason frowned at the red flashing button on
the phone. “Today?”

“No, but for the past few days. Didn’t you get
my messages?”

“Still going through emails first. I’ve been
out for a week.”

“Business trip?”

221/432

“No.”

“Sick?”

A pause. “No.”

“You gonna keep skirting around where you
been or just get straight to the point?” Was it
any wonder he was the oldest? He’d been a
bully when they were kids and he was a bully
now. Only he called it “authoritative”.

Jason paused again, not certain how he
should answer the question. What was going
on with Sabrina was so new, he didn’t think
he was at the introducing-her-to-the-family
stage.

As a matter of fact, he knew he wasn’t there.

“I was just hanging with a friend of mine. So
what did you want?” Reid chuckled. “Female,
I assume.”

222/432

He sat upright in his chair. “How the fu—”

“I can hear it in your voice, man,” Reid
answered, laughing harder. “Who is she? Is it
serious?”

So much for keeping it quiet.

“Her name’s Sabrina. I like her.” A lot. But
some barrier he didn’t know how to break
down kept them separated. He felt it in odd
moments when they lapsed into a compan-
ionable silence. He sensed it at times when
they made love. He didn’t think it was just a
matter of voices or schizophrenia or
whatever it was that troubled her.

Something else stood in the way of them and
he just didn’t know how to identify it. She re-
fused to acknowledge the rift whenever he
mentioned it. Although, maybe she didn’t
feel it the way he did.

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“Listen, don’t say anything to anyone,” Jason
said after another pause. “Things are still
new.”

“You took a week off to be with her, right?
What’s the problem?” Despite the fact Reid
couldn’t see it, Jason shook his head. “It’s
not that there’s a problem, exactly—”

“Which means there is a problem,” Reid
interrupted.

“There isn’t… I mean…it’s no big deal. Well,
there are a couple of things…that aren’t
problems, exactly.”

“You said that already.”

62

Intimate Whispers

224/432

He was rambling. He knew it. “Let me ask
you this, then.” He paused again, not certain
how to phrase it.

“For Christ’s sake Jason, spit it out!”

“What do you think… Well, have you ever
dated someone who isn’t white?” This time
Reid paused before he spoke. He sounded
bored. “Is that all?” Not by a long shot, but
for the moment, it was the only thing on the
list he planned on sharing. “Have you?”

“No, baby brother. But not because I
wouldn’t.

Simply

because

it

hasn’t

happened.” Jason let the “baby brother”, a
throwback to when they were in high school,
slide.

“Yeah.”

“Listen, you said you like her. I won’t press
for details because obviously you’re not

225/432

ready to give them, but get with the times.
Don’t let something so trivial stop you from
being happy, okay?”

“What do you think Mom and Dad would
say?”

“Mom and I only want you to be happy.
That’s all that matters.”

“Yeah,” he repeated with a sigh, almost man-
aging to ignore the way Reid forgot to men-
tion their father.

They talked a few minutes longer, two broth-
ers keeping in touch, before disconnecting.
Since Teddy’s passing, they made a habit of
it. Kind of like an unspoken rule. A full week
didn’t go by without one contacting the oth-
er. That it almost had was a clue as to how
much Sabrina’s presence in his life had af-
fected him.

226/432

He just wished she would talk to him. Not
the things they laughed about, or even the
hushed whispers during sex, but whatever
kept him from reaching her.

The prescription for her medication sat fol-
ded in his wallet, another reminder of anoth-
er barrier. The voices hadn’t come back yet
that he could tell, but they would. And what
then?

* * * * *

Sabrina balled up the stupid piece of paper
and hurled it across the room.

Nothing. Absolutely nothing happened.

The chair fell backward, hitting the carpeted
floor with a soft thump when she stood. The
candle flame flickered, but didn’t wink out.
Thad stared out from the photograph, his

227/432

false smile mocking her attempts at doing
something nice for Jason.

Once again she wondered if Thad really was
dead. She knew enough about automatic
writing to understand the mechanics. God
knew she could communicate with the dead.
So why not when she wanted to? Why was it
always on their terms?

Maybe Jason needed to be there. With no
true link to Thad to speak of, she reached
blindly into the dark, hoping to grasp his
hand. When other spirits tried to speak to
her, usually they had some message or some
business on the earth they needed to handle.
If 63

Dee Carney

Thad recognized he needed to move on, if
nothing tethered him to the world of the

228/432

living, she could spend the next twenty years
of her life trying to reach him to no avail.

That’s what she feared most. Having to tell
Jason that his brother was lost to him
forever when she’d already given him some
hope there might be a way to contact him.

Okay. She could do this.

If automatic writing wasn’t the medium
Thad would respond to, perhaps she needed
to focus on what would work. Focus on
speaking with Thad like she would any of the
other dead. Of course, that brought with it
some risks. The risk of others finding her
and crushing her beneath the weight of their
voices.

Chewing on a thumbnail, Sabrina paced and
thought hard. He would be here any day now
for His carnal payment. If she tried to sum-
mon Thad to her, He would drive him—and

229/432

any others who might happen along—away
sooner or later. Of course, waiting until later
might prove to be a problem.

Though, for Jason, it was a risk she was will-
ing to take.

“Thad Raines,” she called softly. “If you can
hear me, please speak to me.” She slowed to
a stop, waiting, straining to hear anything
out of the ordinary. “C’mon Teddy,” she
muttered. “Give me something, anything, to
work with.” The scent of sulfur wafted
around her. Not the enticing, warm vanilla
breeze the candle was supposed to expel.
This was rank. Sharp to her senses.

“Thad Raines.”

Although the central air-conditioning ran at
a low hum, kicking in periodically to keep the
room at a steady temperature, goose bumps
erupted over her skin. Hair rose on the back

230/432

of her neck, white puffs of cold air blowing
out of her nose and mouth. It must have
dropped a good ten degrees in the past fif-
teen seconds. She hoped to hell that meant it
was working.

“Thad Raines.” This time she spoke with a
firmer voice. With a sense of conviction.

Almost sending him an order. “Speak to me.”

It took everything within her not to wrap her
arms around herself and run screaming from
the room. Not just the chill, but the heavy
weight of something ominous sank into her
skin. The way a sponge soaked up water. It
smothered her, making it difficult to breathe.
And the pungent odor the candle gave off al-
most choked off her airway.

She smiled at the first sound of a voice.

Sabrina.

231/432

The smile eroded. This was not the sound of
Thad’s voice; the sound of a young man gone
before his time. The sound of Jason’s brother
who came back with a message for his
family.

It was the voice of Him. Him, who haunted
her life. Him who she’d come to loathe.

He said her name again, and her world col-
lapsed, the emptiness filled with nothing less
than dread.

64

Intimate Whispers

232/432

Chapter Five

Balancing the trays of Chinese cartons hous-
ing fragrant food in one hand while waiting
for Sabrina to open the door to her apart-
ment took skill. Jason knocked again, won-
dering if maybe she’d crossed the hall and
waited for him at his place instead.

He wanted to see her again with a despera-
tion that bordered on silly. Surely he could
stand to spend nine hours apart from a wo-
man he barely knew?

But that wasn’t quite accurate. While two
weeks ago he didn’t know very much about
Sabrina, the past days of loving and talking
told him more than he thought possible. An
orphan, she showed enthusiastic fascination
when he told her about his family. He didn’t
think of the stories of the trio of brothers as

particularly entertaining, but Sabrina proved
herself an apt pupil.

He probed into her past and she told him a
lot. Not everything, he could tell that much,
but a lot. Some things so haltingly, he
wondered if she’d ever told anyone else be-
fore. With time, maybe, she’d tell him more.

His concern for her grew when he knocked
again with no answer. Still doing a delicate
balancing act, he turned and slipped his key
into the door to his place.

Darkness stared out at him and he had to set
the food on the table before flicking on a
light. He scanned his surroundings, not at all
comforted by the fact nothing indicated Sab-
rina was inside. The realization put a pit in
his stomach, a gnawing reminder that she’d
been attacked a little over a week ago, the
matter never having been resolved. At least
not in his mind. What if this mysterious he

234/432

came back and did worse damage than be-
fore? What if Sabrina lay in a pool of blood
somewhere, unable to call out for help, just
like the night he’d found her?

Blood roared through his mind, a rush of ad-
renaline riding its wave as he tore through
the apartment, opening the bathroom door,
opening the spare bedroom door, opening
the master bathroom door…to find Sabrina
stretched out on the bed, tucked beneath the
sheets. He’d almost flipped on the lights, but
having flooded everywhere else during his
frantic search, the fluorescent spill from the
hallway illuminated her and the smile she
wore in her sleep. Must be nice to be fast
asleep and so comfortable like that while he
slugged his way home through crowded sub-
ways and noisy streets. But if coming home
to this vision is what would reward him
every time he did it, well, it was worth it.

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Quietly, as not to disturb her, he shucked off
his clothes, all the while watching her for
signs of movement. Hunger that made his
stomach rumble only a few minutes ago
turned into a different kind of hunger now.

Under the sheets, her naked shoulders
beckoned to him. The smooth skin, the delic-
ate structure of her bones. Beneath, the view
offered him a tantalizing glimpse of 65

Dee Carney

her back. Of her dark hair sweeping down,
caressing the curve of her spine and pointing
the way down to the hidden, rounded swell
of her ass. If she’d been spread completely
nude, all of her on display, Jason didn’t think
her pose would have been as enticing, as sen-
sual as now.

Forced to use his imagination and a near-
perfect memory, he mentally visualized her

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fleshy globes, her long legs leading to mani-
cured toes. He thought of how often he
stifled the urge to bite her ass, to lick her
dark hole, to plunge his cock inside the
rosette opening. No doubt. He was an ass
man through and through. And his temp-
tress often invited him to give in to his de-
sires and he’d yet to do it.

Until now.

He found the lube hidden away for these
rare, treasured times and placed it on the
nightstand, just in case this evening she
proved to be as receptive to allowing the
kinky treasure. Sliding beneath the sheets
took a little more finesse, but he pulled them
back, his gaze focused on her bottom, and
exhaled slowly as he lowered himself beside
Sabrina. She stirred, a soft sigh that inter-
rupted her deep slumber, reminding him all
too much of the little sounds she made when
aroused. He would have loved to see the

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expression on her face, to see if her mouth
rounded into the little o-shape she made
while they fucked. Maybe next time.

Jason traced his hand over the curve of her
waist, over her hip, caressed her ass. He
dipped his head, followed the decadent trail
with his teeth.

Sabrina screamed, rolling away from him.
“No! No!” Startled by her reaction—and a
split second later realizing his approach
probably wasn’t the best—Jason threw his
hands in the air. “Whoa, baby. It’s me. Just
me.” Her eyes were wild, scanning over him.
Through him. “Not from behind…never from
behind.”

“I’m sorry.” The terror that gripped her was
almost palpable. “Baby, I’m sorry. I didn’t
know.”

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She whimpered, clutching the sheet to her
chest. “Never from behind,” she repeated
softly.

Approaching her on his knees, he kept his
voice gentle. “Never again. I’m sorry.” By the
time he pulled her into his arms, she was
trembling. Again, the image of a fragile, in-
jured bird came to mind as he held her. He
kissed her cheek, soothing away the fear still
wrapped tight around her. He kissed her
jawline, her lips. He touched down on her
neck, the little dip at the base.

She smelled like Ivory and his fabric soften-
er. Like the sweet taste of strawberries.

He slanted his mouth over hers, breathing in
her scent, his tongue curling with hers and
tasting the remnants of her slumber.

“I didn’t mean to scream.” Her eyes were still
wide. Still held terror within them.

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But her hands, her lovely hands traveled over
his chest, over his abdomen. They grazed his
erection, slowly rising to prominence again
between them.

66

Intimate Whispers

“Shh…I wasn’t thinking. I shouldn’t have
surprised you like that.” God help him, he
shouldn’t have been turned-on, but she
grasped his cock, sliding her hands up and
down until his hips bucked, the blood rush-
ing from his brain to answer the call below.

Her mouth slanted in a half-smile. “So, did
you have something in particular in mind?”

“No,” he replied innocently, his hands reach-
ing to cup the heavy swell of her breasts.
“Not me.”

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On her knees still, Sabrina’s kneel widened.
“Oh. That’s good to know.”

“Are you okay? Really?” As turned-on as rub-
bing the swollen points of her nipples made
him, he had a hard time believing the one-
eighty she pulled from only minutes ago.

Sabrina kissed him. When she pulled back,
she looked into his eyes, her face serious.
“I’m fine. Really. I should have known better
than to think… I was just startled, that’s all.”
As if to prove her point, she trailed a finger
around the base of his cock, stroked down
his thigh before using her hand to embrace
his testicles. With her unique, delicate touch,
she rolled his balls, coaxing a groan from
him.

Jason threaded his fingers into her hair,
pulling her closer for another kiss. Her
mouth moved over his, drawing it out as if
the idea were hers and not his. He pushed

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into the cavern of her hot mouth, his tongue
colliding and stroking hers. He would have
spent forever kissing her, but he re-
membered what drew his attention before
they’d started their embrace.

He guided her to lying, his mouth grazing
over her breasts, her stomach all the while.
She moaned when he inhaled the scent of
her sex. When he nudged her thighs farther
apart with his face. When he lowered his
mouth and tasted her cream.

The hint of Ivory he smelled on her greeted
his taste buds first, but then the unique
musky flavor of his woman exploded onto his
tongue seconds later. She rolled her hips, her
hands pushing into his hair. Her cries spur-
ring the way he worked his mouth, tasting,
feasting, needing her.

“Oh my God,” she sighed softly, making him
grin.

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Head buried between her thighs, he reached
blindly for the tube of lubricant. His fingers
gripped the tube, flipped open its lid and
squeezed some into his hand. The same hand
he guided to her puckered entrance.

Sabrina’s soft moans took on a new pitch
when he worked his finger into her, soothing
her body, stretching her open and preparing
her for him. Her muscles and her heat
wrapped around his finger—then two fin-
gers—holding him tight, and his cock swelled
in response. When he pushed inside her, it
would be so sweet to feel the same grip on
his sensitive tissue.

He lifted his head, his mouth covered by her
moisture and crawled forward, his control
strained to breaking. There was something
so decadent about the way she 67

Dee Carney

243/432

kissed him, the way her pink tongue sneaked
out to capture tastes of herself.

Unerringly, he let his cock sink into her
pussy, let the velvet hold stroke him and ab-
sorb the pearl-colored drip of his arousal.
Pulling out again almost broke him.

A few days ago when she told him she was on
the Pill, he could have wept with joy.

Being able to be with her now without a bar-
rier between them felt so right. They’d
already discussed their health and prior ex-
periences. Moving to this level of intimacy
meant the world to him and he didn’t have to
question why.

She lifted her hips, raising them for him, ac-
cepting his need. His entire body bucked as
he pushed forward, entering her tight, rear
channel. He wanted this so badly. He forced
himself to grit his teeth and go slowly, to not

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ram forward and impale her with himself. He
commanded himself to think. Not to become
overwhelmed by her heat, not to fixate on the
way she wrapped around him like wet silk,
not to pay attention to her moan vibrating
through her chest and rippling into his.

“My God,” he groaned. It sounded strangled,
even to his own ears.

Sabrina wrapped her legs around his back,
her hands gripped her shoulders. She rocked
with him, finding the rhythm of his thrusts.

It was all he could do to press his face
against her neck, to let his hips thrust and
withdraw. To breathe in the scent of her
skin, the musk of their bodies. His lungs
drew in air as if each breath might be his
last, but he kept his pace. Listened to her soft
cries.

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Too soon, all too quickly, the base of his
spine throbbed. He ignored its tug and
dragged his hand between their bodies.
While two unsoiled fingers curled into her
pussy, he rubbed his thumb over Sabrina’s
clit, drawing her closer to where he was.

Where he would be.

“Yes, Jay…God, yes…”

She began to shudder, her pussy milking his
fingers and the muscles of her ass tightening
around him until he didn’t know where she
ended and he began. The tug became an in-
sistent pull, a drawing up of his balls that
didn’t let go, didn’t release until the first jet
of his spend spilled into her. Jason roared as
he came, his head thrown back, his eyes
clenched shut.

All the focus he held on to like a lifeline, all
of the control, shattered like glass as he

246/432

ground into her, forcing himself deeper. His
body’s demands impossible to refuse.

While he panted against her neck, the world
slowly came back into focus. At some point,
he’d fallen onto her and Sabrina took the full
weight of his body without complaint. She
was peppering kisses along his shoulder,
murmuring honeyed words against his flesh.

His body refused his commands. He was
supposed to be raising himself on his arms,
supporting his weight so as not to crush her,
but damn if he could find the strength. His
chest expanded as he dragged in a great
lungful of air, his breath expelled mere
seconds later. Feeling started to seep back
into his arms and legs, but no part of his ana-
tomy would obey the call to move. All he
could do was lie there, hold her and think to
himself that this was the kind of thing he
could get used to.

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68

Intimate Whispers

* * * * *

Sabrina was in heaven. She chewed on the
chocolate-covered cookies, moaning in ec-
stasy, waiting to die in sinful pleasure right
there and then. “How did you know these are
my favorite?”

Jason sat cross-legged on his bed, chopsticks
still working furiously in the carton of
noodles. He swallowed some down and
grinned at her. “The night at the mart. It’s
what you were standing next to. I took a
chance.”

Heat blossomed across her face to think he
would remember such a detail. What else did
he have tucked away in his memory of that
treacherous

night?

“Thank

you

for

248/432

remembering. They are my absolute favorite
and only available a few months out of the
year.”

“Ah, so that explains ignoring the dinner I
cooked just for you and heading straight for
dessert.”

She opened her mouth to accept a few of the
noodles he held out for her. “Well, Mr.

Raines, I must say that I’m impressed with
your ‘cooking skills’. I daresay it almost ex-
ceeds your skills in bed.” She made a show of
thinking on it. “Maybe even goes beyond.”

“Oh yeah?”

Her startled shriek reverberated into the air
when he set aside the food and tackled her.
Despite her every attempt to wriggle away
from him, he held her captive, tickling her
sides until she screamed. “Stop!” she

249/432

screamed again, but he continued to tickle,
his goofy grin making her laugh almost as
hard as his roaming fingers. “If you…don’t
stop it, any loss…of bladder control will
be…entirely…your fault!” That did it.

Jason rolled onto his side, pulling her onto
him, until they lay in a tangled heap. She
giggled still, leftovers from her amusement,
before lapsing into a companionable silence.

Even in this position, she couldn’t help
smelling his brand of shower gel, the unique
scent that emanated from his clothes and
bed. “I love the way you smell after a
shower,” she murmured.

He dropped a kiss on her shoulder. “Don’t
try to suck up to me now.” Her eyes closed,
she listened to his breathing, the sounds of
his apartment surrounding them. She
listened to his heartbeat too, the slow, lazy
thump, thump, thump of contentment. His

250/432

hands traveled up and down her arms, mas-
saging away tension from the day’s events
and sending little sparks of shivers shooting
out.

“Tell me about your day.”

She thought of her attempts at contacting
Thad. At the unexpected visit from Him.

“Nothing to tell,” she lied. Jason exhaled
forcefully and the smile eased from her face.

“What?”

69

Dee Carney

There was disappointment written all over
his face and the intensity of it almost made
her cringe. One thing about Jason she no-
ticed was his inability to hide his emotions.
When surprised, his eyes went round and as

251/432

big as dinner plates. When happy, the smile
he turned on made her heart flutter. And
now, when sad, his pensive expression made
her feel guilty.

“I can tell you want to tell me something.”

Sabrina looked away.

He reached for her hand, twining his fingers
with hers. “But you’re holding it back for
whatever reason. I don’t know why you think
you can’t tell me.” She stiffened, disturbed he
saw through her already. “Why would you
say that?”

“Because since we’ve been eating and even
when we’re lying here, you won’t look at me.
Not directly. Just these side-glances that are
supposed to put me at ease.”

“Jason—”

252/432

“It’s not working. Anyway, when you’re ready
to talk, I’m here.” Oh hell. What did she do
with that?

Yes, she’d love to tell Jason about Him.
About His arrival instead of Thad’s. Poised
on the tip of her tongue was the confession
about calling down a voice from the dead on
purpose in an attempt to pay him back for
his generosity and kindness. But would he
understand the relationship she had with
Him?

She asked too much of her boyfriend to allow
her to fuck a spirit who offered no love, no
affection in return. What would Jason do
when he found out that she had a choice?
That she could send Him away, as she’d done
today, and He’d leave without a pause.

The first time she’d sent Him away, the sur-
prise stunned her into immobility. For
hours, she sat thinking, daring to believe she

253/432

was free. Two days later, locked in an institu-
tion from an attack of the voices so severe
she had been a danger to herself, He proved
the futility of sending Him away for too long.

What would Jason say when she couldn’t
stand the voices anymore and she had to call
Him back and give in to His sexual
demands?

Yeah. It all hovered on her lips, ready to fill
him in, but she couldn’t do that to him.

Wouldn’t.

“You’ve worn me out. I’m just tired.”

“If you say so.”

He moved a few inches away then and that
hurt. The distance might as well have been a
few miles. The smell of the food made her
stomach rumble, the chocolate taste of the

254/432

cookies still lingering on her tongue. Any
urge to eat any more of it had vanished,
though. Jason pushed his chopsticks through
the strands of noodles, the motions restless
and repetitive. Looked as if he was done eat-
ing too.

“We haven’t talked about Thad in a while,”
she said, her voice small. Anything to bring
him back from whatever place her silence
had exiled him to.

70

Intimate Whispers

The clicking of chopsticks was the only reply
she received for a while. Too long a while.

“What do you want to know?”

She released a breath she hadn’t realized she
held. “Nothing in particular, it’s just…well,

255/432

you’re right. I didn’t want to tell you about
my day because I didn’t know how you’d take
it.”

Jason looked at her finally. “Take what?”

“I haven’t stopped trying. And today…I tried
again.” There. She saw right there a spark of
life fire in him. Sabrina’s heart thundered.

“What did you do? Did it work?” He shifted,
leaning forward, the food in his hand
forgotten.

“No, but—” But. The word hovered on her
tongue, tasting sour and bringing up bile into
the back of her throat.

“Tell me! What did you do? Did you get any-
thing at all?”

“I don’t think you understand. It didn’t
work.”

256/432

“Doesn’t matter. I still go through the auto-
matic writing, trying to pull something
meaningful out of it. It’s crazy that our
names would be spelled out and it not mean
something. No matter what you say, I still
think Teddy got through somehow. I think
he was trying to talk to us, and maybe didn’t
get to say as much as he wanted.”

“I hadn’t realized you were still analyzing the
message.”

“It’s all I have to cling to. My last bit of hope,
you see?”

“Jason, I warned you about getting your
hopes up. This ‘gift’ I have just doesn’t work
that way. I haven’t actually tried to contact
the other side in maybe, twenty years.

I’ve avoided it for just this reason.”

257/432

He picked up the food and put some of it in
his mouth. They studied each other as he
chewed. No telling what rifled through his
mind while he regarded her. She sat there,
trying to gauge how much to let him know.

“I tried the automatic writing again. For me,
it’s the safest way I know.” Jason sat straight
up, the container next to him toppling over
and spilling some of the contents onto the
bed. “Safest? The last time, you were tem-
porarily possessed.”

“That was nothing.” Sabrina waved an errant
hand, before righting the white paper box
and wiping up the mess. “Just a spirit look-
ing for some mischief. If it really meant to
stay, I wouldn’t have been able to break the
bond so easily.” He kept chewing.

“And I took better precautions this time. The
first time was an impromptu cobbling of
what I remembered. Today I protected

258/432

myself better.” Another lie. She was getting a
little too comfortable with this. Then again,
all the more reason to maybe ease into an in-
troduction of Him.

71

Dee Carney

“Still,” he grumbled. “I wish you wouldn’t do
things like that without me around. If
something had gone wrong, you would have
been by yourself. And what if you had gotten
in contact with Teddy, what then?”

Well, damn. That possibility never crossed
her mind. “You’re right. I promise, no more
attempts without you around. And Jay?”

“Yeah?” He busied himself with wrapping a
napkin around his used chopsticks after he
closed the food container he’d eaten out of. A
quick scan of the bed, presumably looking

259/432

for dropped pieces or crumbs, occupied his
attention as she considered how best to
broach the topic that would forever change
her relationship with him. For good, or more
likely, for bad. She swallowed that down,
rough, pointy edges and all.

“I’m ready for bed,” she improvised. “How
about you?” A short while later, she snuggled
behind him on the bed, knowing they would
eventually separate in the night. They both
agreed while it was well and good to start the
night touching, neither got a good night’s
rest without elbow space.

She smiled.

Elbow space. What an odd man she spent
her time with. Laughed with. Made love
with.

Love. An even odder thing. She couldn’t
quite claim to understand the emotion, but if

260/432

anyone she knew deserved that rare treasure,
it might one day be Jason. Closing her eyes,
she exhaled and settled into the bed. Yes.
She could easily find herself in love with one
Mr. Jason Raines.

Not more than four beats passed, when she
found herself wide awake, her eyes snapping
open to the change in the atmosphere.

Jason?

Her mouth formed his name, but no sound
issued forth. The hair rose on the back of her
arms, a contagion of goose bumps following
in its wake. Suddenly she realized that al-
though she’d opened her eyes, felt the lids
move under her command, she saw nothing.
Neither blackness nor light. Just a nothing-
ness that spiked her pulse to racing.

A face hovered into view and she tried to
scream. The apparition flew toward her and

261/432

in any other circumstance, she would flee.
Not only voiceless, though, her body ap-
peared as ethereal.

Dream. Had to be a dream.

She floated in that place in between awake
and sleeping, struggling to tilt toward one or
the other. All of her struggles were for
naught, though. Trying to twist, trying to
back up, none of it worked. Forced to remain
still, she waited with her breath held for the
apparition to get close enough for a clear
view.

She’d get through this. It was a dream. Only
a dream.

Stay calm and she’d get through it.

72

Intimate Whispers

262/432

As the bodiless face moved closer, her eyes
narrowed, squinting to see through the murk
and gloom for a better look because she was
sure something about it was familiar.

One forced slow breath after another sawed
in and out of lungs that didn’t exist, but she
made herself calm down. No reason to panic
when nothing signaled danger of any sort so
far.

It spoke. Rather, its mouth moved, forming
words she didn’t recognize as yet. If only it
would move closer.

She almost snorted at that thought. Closer?
Only seconds ago, she tried to get away.

But now, after a moment to listen to her gut
instincts, the certainty it meant her no harm
filled her being, such as it was.

263/432

At last it moved close enough for her to
identify the strong jaw, the cleft chin. Very
familiar brown eyes. They looked so much
alike she almost mistook his for Jason’s, but
there was something off about his face. As
strong as the family resemblance hung
between the two men, anyone who knew
either of the men wouldn’t mistake Thad for
Jason.

She watched his mouth again. Focused on
the two words he repeated over and again.

Help me, Thad. What are you saying?

His jaw dropped with the first word but the
second, on the other hand, made his gaze
soften. Apparently sensing she didn’t under-
stand what he wanted, he slowed down, ap-
plying a great amount of exaggeration to the
way he pronounced the words.

At once it came to her.

264/432

Find Felice.

* * * * *

Jason’s alarm clock clicked on, playing some
soft jazz on the radio station. He groaned in
response. Why the hell was it that morning
came rushing forward after a damned too
brief night, but the work day dragged on and
on, seemingly unending?

He rolled to his side and opened his eyes.
Sabrina lay facing him, her face a vision of
calm that made him smile. He loved to watch
her sleep, often stealing these few minutes to
himself to allow himself the luxury. Why was
it that she made him so content? Separating
from her for the work day had become one of
the hardest tasks.

He glanced at a naked breast peeking out
from the sheets and his groin tightened, his

265/432

morning wood already awake and ready to
face the start of a new day.

Being inside her was like a new experience
every single time. The lock-and-key fit, the
way their bodies molded together, had to be
destiny. Her face didn’t awkwardly find the
pit of his arm when they lay together. He
didn’t have to bend to an uncomfortable
angle to kiss her. They just fit.

Reaching forward, he slid his hand down her
belly, his intent to wake her, but at the same
time, if he didn’t, not caring.

73

Dee Carney

Between her legs, the soft down of her
mound tickled his fingertips, but he explored
on, undaunted. She released one of her
breathy sighs and parted her legs slightly. A

266/432

quick glance into her face couldn’t verify if
she still slept on, if her response was a sub-
conscious one. No matter.

Two fingers parted her lips and he stroked
over the hood of her clit. He kept his gaze on
her face and chest, watchful of her increasing
breaths, of the slight twisting of pleasure
blossoming on her face. His dick grew harder
by the second, but he waited patiently. Get-
ting her aroused and ready to accept him in-
to her body took only a few minutes on a
slow day. His finger’s quick dip into her
pussy found some of her slick moisture wait-
ing for him, but her clit hadn’t reached the
engorged arousal he wanted in her. Cream-
slickened fingers pushed back the hood of
her clit and circled the hard nub with more
enthusiasm. Sabrina moaned this time and
her eyelids fluttered open. Before she
awakened fully, he rolled in between her
legs, the scent of her pussy and her arousal

267/432

floating up to greet him and make him groan
his own need.

Jason pushed forward slowly, splitting her
lips and sheathing himself in her heat.

Silently, he made love to her, watching her
reactions, encouraged by her moans. She
came beneath him, almost immediately,
shuddering. Her eyes stayed on him, her
pussy tightening around his cock as sensual
as the hazy way she gazed on him. He
pushed into her again and again, patient and
unwilling—unable—to stop until she came
twice more. He wanted her undone. Broken
apart and put together again by him, his at-
tention. This woman, in such a short time,
had come to mean so much to him. He re-
cognized that, unafraid to face it head-on.

Making her come like this, making her shat-
ter beneath his touch, sent a rush of possess-
iveness through Jason that startled him into

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awareness. The world outside his apartment
waited and there would be time for more of
this later. Tonight when he got home, he
would love her and love her well.

“No,” she moaned when he pulled out, his
cock saturated with her cream and still as
solid as granite.

He kissed her lightly. “I’ll be late if I don’t get
a move on.” Something in his words made
her eyes widen. “Oh my God, Jason. You
have to stay home today. I can’t believe it’s
just now coming back to me…”

“What?” His heart hammered from the fear
in her voice. “What happened?”

“Thad. I dreamt of Thad last night and he
gave me a message.”

“Are you sure?” It sounded dumb the second
it left his mouth.

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If she noticed, she ignored him. “He told me
to find Felice. I know it was him and for
whatever reason, we need to find her. I think
you and I have a mission to undertake, my
dear. Call out and let’s talk.”

He gave a curt nod and although excited,
somewhat reluctantly rolled away. They both
hurriedly took showers and got dressed after
Jason spoke to his administrator. As one of
their top salesmen who almost never took a
vacation, she’d been surprised he needed an-
other day off, but accepted his request
without reservation.

74

Intimate Whispers

Sabrina had two mugs of steaming coffee
waiting on the bar by the time he finished.
“Any problems?”

270/432

He took a sip of the bitter brew and grimaced
at the taste. One thing he’d learned about his
woman, cooking was not her forte. “Nah. It’s
mostly catching up on paperwork time for
me, anyway. I can do half of it from here.
Anyway, tell me more.”

“It was a simple, straightforward dream.”
She took a sip out of her mug, and frowned
too. “I remembered what he looked like from
the picture you showed me, as well as the
fact you two looked so much alike. You
should have warned me about that.” He
smiled. “I’d forgotten, truthfully. People al-
ways commented, but I never saw it.”

“I couldn’t hear him, but he kept saying the
same two words over and over again.

He was patient until I got it. Find Felice, he
said. Do you have any idea who she might
be?”

271/432

“Not at all. Until I saw her name on the auto-
matic writing page, I didn’t think much
about it. I thought maybe you’d channeled
her by accident or something.” She nibbled
on toast topped with melted cheese and
slices of tomato. “If I had to guess, she
shouldn’t be too hard to locate. If she’s so
important for you to find, he would have
maybe given me more to work with, right?”

“You tell me,” he replied, shrugging. Jason
reached for her hand, pulling it toward him
until he could take a bite from the toast as
well. She held it out for him, watching with
amusement.

“I made some for you too, you know.” She
looked pointedly at the untouched plate next
to his mug.

“Yours tastes better.”

“Ah.”

272/432

A sudden dull pain ripped through his chest.
Jason grimaced, forgetting about food for the
moment.

Thad.

“Jason? What’s wrong?”

Teddy. His older brother whom he’d adored.
Worshipped.

The pain blossomed, spreading until it stole
his breath. Gulping did little to appease it,
instead making the lump forming in his
throat impossible to swallow.

“Hey…talk

to

me.”

Sabrina’s

concern

touched some deep part of him, but he
couldn’t form a sound yet.

Instead, he choked on something. A sob.

His brother was dead.

273/432

They didn’t know for certain before, but
now—with everything he and Sabrina had
been through—he had to face facts. Teddy
would never be coming home.

75

Dee Carney

There was a noise, movement next to him
while Jason tried to understand his grief.

Warm arms embraced him. Soft breasts
offered a place to rest his heavy head. His
woman’s sensuous body offered solace while
he faced his biggest fear head-on.

Teddy wasn’t coming home. Ever.

Minutes passed. Maybe hours. Sabrina held
him and he clung to her. When at last he
thought he could speak without racking,
heaving sobs overtaking him, he loosened his

274/432

hold. More minutes passed before he allowed
himself to slowly let Teddy’s memory stop
being a jackhammer to his heart. He wiped
dry eyes against her shirt, not ready to lift his
face quite yet. But then he took a deep
breath. Then another.

His brother needed him now and he would
not fail him. That meant finding Felice.

When Teddy was alive, they didn’t spend
much time talking about their friends or the
women in their lives. Now that he thought
about it, the realization was strange, but
true. Maybe it had something to do with not
jinxing a relationship before it had a chance
to take root.

While Teddy might have been quick to ac-
cept someone as a friend, his journey into ac-
cepting a lover took a lot more time. He nev-
er thought he’d find happiness in another

275/432

person and didn’t want to drag anyone into
his misery.

“Do you have a list of Thad’s friends, or
maybe an address book or something?” Sab-
rina asked softly. Not one word about his
breakdown. No hint of embarrassment for
his sudden drowning grief. He was grateful.

Refocusing, pleased they were thinking along
the same lines, he shook his head nonethe-
less. “I don’t. I’ll have to check with Mom or
Reid to see if they have any. But really, I
don’t think she might have been a friend. We
called everyone who knew him when we held
the memorial service.” His throat tightened.
Determination pushed through it. “Although
I might not have been thinking completely
rationally around that time, I don’t recall a
Felice as among those people.”

“It’s someplace to start. Give her a call and
let’s look.” He’d already decided he’d start

276/432

with Reid first. His mom called him when
she wanted to talk. He avoided ringing their
home like the plague. The last thing he
needed was to call there and have his father
pick up.

“Let’s head out instead,” he said after swal-
lowing down the remains of cold coffee.

Perhaps the hole burning through his stom-
ach from the paint-thinner he’d just downed,
along with roiling emotions, might settle
after a few minutes. “I want to do the search
myself and everyone will be heading out for
work. I have a key to Reid’s place. It’s as
good a place to start as any.”

They held hands on the cab ride over. He
gave Reid a heads-up about their trip during
the car ride on his cell phone, avoiding
telling him exactly why.

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“I have a small box of his stuff in the spare
bedroom closet,” Reid said.

“Do you recall a woman by the name of
Felice being at his memorial? Or maybe a
friend of his he told you about?”

76

Intimate Whispers

Reid paused for a minute before answering.
“That doesn’t ring a bell, but that doesn’t
mean anything. What’s this about?”

“It’s nothing. I’m just trying to find her.”

“Let yourself in, then. I know I had his cell
phone at one point, but I don’t think I have it
anymore. Might have given it to charity or
something.”

“What about an address book?”

278/432

“You’ll have to call Mom. She used it to loc-
ate his friends.” They talked for a few
minutes more before disconnecting. By then,
the cab pulled to a stop in front of Reid’s
place. Jason gave the driver his fare, along
with a hefty tip and led Sabrina up the short
flight of stairs to the inside.

Reid’s place made his look like a Picasso
nightmare. As he looked upon the fringed
rug, the trails of yarn extending from it in
perfect vertical rows, he wondered for the
hundredth time if maybe this brother
suffered

from

obsessive-compulsive

disorder.

Every framed picture hung ramrod straight
on the wall, each frame in line with the oth-
ers. No clutter, not even a pile of unread
mail, indicated that anyone lived in the spa-
cious studio. All doors were closed, all cabin-
ets shut. Damn that each one of the brothers

279/432

had some trait that made him a psychiatrist’s
dream.

“Where is it?” Sabrina asked when he hesit-
ated for what have been a minute too long
for her tastes.

“This way.” He led them into the back room,
what his brother called the spare bedroom,
but really wasn’t big enough to hold a bed.
There, he opened the closet.

Even in here, boxes were stacked upon each
other in perfect columns, starting from
largest and working their way up to smallest
in size. A label identified the contents for
each box, the typed font and perfection mak-
ing Jason shake his head in amazement.

One in the middle had Thad’s name on it.

“There,” Sabrina said, pointing.

280/432

Together, they worked on removing the
boxes on top of it. He pulled the green con-
tainer out himself, surprised by the weight.
“Jesus, what’s in here?” he muttered.

Jason set it on the floor and Sabrina pried
open the lid. Inside, more boxes stared out.
She reached in and took out the first. She
tilted it so he could see inside. “Pictures.”
Sabrina flipped through some of them, but
gave up after a minute. “You probably need
to do this part. I wouldn’t know who these
people are.”

“Okay. You open the rest of these boxes and
let’s see what’s there.” He sorted through the
pictures and as she guessed, was able to pick
out most of the people within them. Some
were of the boys growing up. A surprising
number of their parents. Even more surpris-
ing were the pictures of relatives none of
them really stayed in touch with. None of the

281/432

pictures though contained a snapshot of the
mysterious Felice.

77

Dee Carney

Sabrina sat back on her haunches, wiping
her hands on her thighs. “I don’t think
there’s anything else useful in here. Some
clothes. Some knickknacks. No address book
or anything with her name on it.”

Crap. That meant he’d have to call his mom
to see what she might have. “And you’re cer-
tain he said to find Felice? It couldn’t have
been anything else?”

“Of course it could have. And it could have
just been my subconscious trying to voice it-
self through an image of your brother. But
I’m pretty certain it was him and I’m very
certain he said to find her.” Her eyes clouded

282/432

with concern. “Do you want to give up the
search?”

“No,” he said, shaking his head. He just
didn’t want to go where the search was lead-
ing them.

They worked efficiently to replace the items
and then the box back on the stack.

When done, Jason glanced at his watch and
made a decision. “I know it’s kind of soon,
but how do you feel about meeting my
mom?”

She looked as if he’d just suggested they
drown a puppy for fun. “I’m sorry?”

“She’ll be opening up their offices and I’d
rather catch her alone. My dad won’t be
there for another hour or so.” He hoped.

283/432

Sabrina’s gaze dropped to her feet, but she
mumbled, “Sure. If you’re ready for that.”

Jason pondered her reply as they waited for
a cab to pick them up. Although only a
couple of weeks had passed in their relation-
ship, he thought he knew Sabrina better than
most women he’d known four times that
length of time. His feelings for her were
strong, the passion between them scorching.
At times he wondered if perhaps they might
still be caught in the lust-for-you phase, but
when he looked at her, when he caught her
gazing at him with that mysterious smile
plastered across her face, he didn’t discount
that as the only reason. Things—whatever
those things might be—moved fast between
them. Most of the lingering doubt he’d faced
their first few days together were nonexistent
at this point.

At the end of the day, he was falling hard for
Sabrina. Having her meet his mom now was

284/432

the right decision. A step in the right direc-
tion. The only direction for him, truthfully.

They pulled to a stop in front of their destin-
ation and Jason exhaled a deep breath.

Here goes nothing.

Holding out his hand, he helped Sabrina
from the cab. She looked up at the small
brick building, her face as serious as an un-
dertaker’s. “You didn’t say what kind of
business.”

“They own an accounting firm. Slow time of
year now, but in a few months, there’ll be a
line outside the door.”

“Wow.”

78

Intimate Whispers

285/432

He held the door open and immediately bit
back a wave of apprehension about crossing
the threshold. The business-grade carpeting
muffled their steps as they crossed the room,
his ears tuned in for movement beyond the
reception area. When he heard his mother’s
voice, he allowed a small smile to push at his
cheeks.

“Mom?” he called out, still testing the water
for sharks.

She stuck her head around a wall and his ap-
prehension vanished. “Jason! I didn’t expect
you here.”

The woman who would always be first in his
life came out, wearing a pale-blue, old-fash-
ioned dress meant for function, not appeal.
He took in what Sabrina saw when she saw
his mother. A tall woman with her weight in
her thighs and midsection. Eyes he’d inher-
ited. An easy smile. He’d seen pictures of her

286/432

when she was a young woman and had been
embarrassed to learn the beauty ended up
giving birth to him ten years later. Somehow
the stick-thin blonde had morphed into a
matronly brunette who wore glasses. Only
when he really studied the old black-and-
white was he able to pull out the woman who
stood before him now. He crossed the room
quickly and pulled her into a bear hug. “How
could I stay away from my favorite woman?”
She squeaked. “You charmer. Flattery will
get you everywhere.” He smiled down on her,
inhaling the scent of baby powder she some-
how managed to keep after all this time. She
pushed away from him after a minute. “Wait
a minute. Who do we have here?”

He followed her gaze to take in Sabrina,
standing there with her purse clutched
between both hands. If possible, he’d say the
woman looked green.

“Mom, I want you to meet…my, uh…”

287/432

“Sabrina Turner,” she interrupted, holding
out a hand. She found a reserve of courage
somewhere and moved toward Rue Raines,
as if meeting her had been her idea.

Rue knocked aside her outstretched hand
and pulled her into a tight hug. Startled, Sab-
rina fell into it before a protest could cross
her lips. “Sabrina, it’s nice to meet you,” she
said after stepping back. “I’m Rue.”

Rue’s brown eyes studied his girlfriend, and
although he recognized it for sizing her up,
Jason also knew she met his mother’s ap-
proval in those few milliseconds that passed.
“Baby boy, what brings you here?”

He held back a sigh. How to explain this to
her? “Mom, I need to look at some of Teddy’s
things.”

288/432

“When are you going to stop calling him
that? You know how much he hated that
name.”

After all this time, she still stuck up for him.
“I’m sorry to drop in like this, but we don’t
have a lot of time to stay today. Another
time, perhaps. Do you have any of his things
still?”

79

Dee Carney

Her lips thinned into a firm line. She glanced
at Sabrina and admonished him in a hushed
voice. “Enough is enough, Jason. One of you
has to be the first. If it won’t be him, let it be
you.”

Sabrina must have felt the tension now
crackling the air. Before he could rehash the
same old argument with her, Sabrina stood

289/432

at his side, the fingers of one hand entwined
with his, her other hand running over his
forearm. “Hey,” she said softly.

“Mom, I love you, but let’s not go over this
again, okay? Do you have Ted—Thad’s
things?”

She released the sigh he held back. “Is there
anything in particular you’re looking for?”

Jason shook his head. “I don’t know, exactly.
His address book or anything that might tell
me who his friends were.”

Rue walked toward the back offices, gestur-
ing for them to follow. A few people he didn’t
recognize smiled up at them as they passed.
A lot of the staff here had been temps when
he frequented the office and apparently
things hadn’t changed that much.

290/432

“I had his address book, as well as the num-
bers programmed into his phone transcribed
a while back. In case I needed someone’s in-
formation.” She walked around to another
desk and sat down behind a computer. “It’s
on a spreadsheet I can access from here.”

Jason’s eyebrows shot up. “Way to join the
twenty-first century.”

“Is there anyone in particular you’re looking
for or did you want the entire list?

Ah…here, it is.”

He debated what to tell her, but Sabrina
stepped forward. “Can you sort it to find the
name ‘Felice’?”

“No problem.”

Her fingers moved over the keyboard at
lightning speed, another surprise to Jason.

291/432

When had his mom turned into this modern
woman? He always knew her as the face of
the business while his dad ensured the
mechanics functioned without a problem.
Now look at her. She sorted through the
spreadsheet like an old pro, finding Felice’s
name before he had a chance to offer how
she should go about finding it.

“Print it out or rattle off the number?”

Sabrina reached into her purse, pulling out a
pen and an old receipt. “Go for it.” Well, hell.
He might as well take a seat and let the two
of them sleuth without him, full steam
ahead.

“Cute purse,” Rue observed.

“Thanks. Half off at Macy’s.”

“A Macy’s girl? A woman after my own
heart.”

292/432

“Are you kidding me? It’s the first place I
even consider going.” 80

Intimate Whispers

Jason’s gaze volleyed back and forth as they
chattered. Somehow, they managed a con-
versation

about

shopping,

sales,

and

cars—go figure—in between transcribing
Felice’s number. He kept his eye on the clock
hanging against the wall though. They were
running out of time. Finally, he held up his
hand. “Mom.”

“The handling on that model isn’t as good—”

“Mom.”

“Yeah, but you can get it custom fitted—”

“Mom!” Sabrina and Rue both looked up.
Based on their expressions, his feeling of be-
ing forgotten wasn’t quite far from the mark.

293/432

He leaned in and pressed a quick kiss to her
cheek. “We have to go.”

She squeezed Sabrina’s hand before letting
go. “If you ever need a shopping partner, give
me a call. I have a feeling you and I could do
some serious damage to the sales’ racks.”

Her response and smile filled him with a
good feeling. “You’re on.” He wrapped an
arm around Sabrina’s waist, hugging her
close. “She’s my girlfriend, Mom.”

She arched a brow at him. “And now she’s
one of mine. Now,” she rose, “go on.

Get. I know you’re in a rush.”

Yet another reason he loved her so fiercely.
She took the news of his relationship with
Sabrina without batting an eye. He hadn’t
realized he still faced some concern about his

294/432

parents’ acceptance of her, but the way the
two women carried on, without cause.

Jason took both his mother’s hand and Sab-
rina’s, walking in between them, his heart
swollen. Yes, he would make certain the
three of them got together soon, and hope-
fully, often. He missed talking to his mother
without interruption and this brief meeting
only brought back a feeling of homesickness.

He looked up when the doorbell chimed, sig-
naling a new customer had arrived.

His gaze landed first on his graying hair be-
fore landing on the disapproving gaze of the
man standing there. Without thinking, he
dropped hands with the women and tensed,
ready to face down the accusations and vehe-
mence about to be thrust upon him.

Rue move to stand between him and Gibson.
He hoped to God the man would let him by

295/432

unmolested, because his throat was so tight,
he didn’t think it would function.

His eyes burned, his chest tightened. A flush
of heat crept up his neck and he worked like
hell to keep his hands relaxed at his sides.

“Gibson.” Moving forward, he maintained a
wide berth. “We’re just leaving.

Don’t—”

“Don’t?”

Gibson

ground

out

between

clenched teeth. “Don’t what?”

“Sabrina,” Jason whispered harshly. “Let’s
go.” 81

Dee Carney

For Christ’s sake, why had he brought Gib-
son’s attention to her? The older man’s green
eyes dropped on her like weights. “She’s with

296/432

you?” Venom and condemnation dripped
from every word.

Jason refused to answer that question and
moved to the door, holding it open.

Thankfully, Sabrina followed without saying
a word. She kept her head down as they
moved, not stopping long enough to say
goodbye to her new friend.

“Thank for the information and I’m sorry,
Mom,” Jason offered as he pulled the door
behind him.

He kept a brisk pace, unable and unwilling to
stop until some distance separated him from
the man with whom he was supposed to have
a close relationship.

Sabrina pulled on him until he slowed after
they’d traversed two city blocks. “What was
that about?”

297/432

“Nothing.”

“Jason, don’t tell me nothing. Who was
that?”

The man who worshipped the ground his
mother walked on. The man who’d bought
her a single solitaire diamond every an-
niversary of their lives, including when
they’d been dating. The same one who’d built
her dream home with his bare hands, work-
ing long hours so she could stay at home
with their young family.

The same man who’d never wanted the third
child who’d come along as a surprise.

He hated having to tell her, but she’d find
out sooner or later. “Gibson Raines. My
father.”

82

298/432

Intimate Whispers

299/432

Chapter Six

Sabrina stared in disbelief. “Your father?”

She recalled the way the men stood off, star-
ing each other down like two cobras poised
to strike. The family resemblance wasn’t as
strong between father and son as between
the trio of brothers, but now that she thought
about it, she couldn’t deny some existed.
Jason inherited his father’s cleft chin, along
with his stature. The smile she probably
couldn’t coax out of him now with a crowbar
came straight from his mother.

Anger still emanated from him in fine vibra-
tions. He glanced back toward where they’d
just come. “Yeah.”

All of a sudden, everything he’d said and
more importantly, what he hadn’t said about
his family came together to make sense. She

didn’t know what to say, how to console him.
“Jason…”

He shrugged her off. “It’s nothing.”

Using long strides, Jason marched away, for-
cing her to hurry if she wanted to catch him.
He didn’t slow when she latched on to his
arm. “Wait.” He kept moving, so she tugged
harder. “Whoa. Wait! Jay, aren’t you going to
tell me—”

“No.” He reached into his back pocket and
whipped out his cell phone. “What’s her
number?”

For crying out loud. In the intense excite-
ment of the last few minutes, she’d forgotten
why they’d sought his parents out in the first
place. She pulled out Felice’s number on the
receipt and handed it to him.

301/432

He punched in the numbers, then held the
phone to his ear. “Hi, my name is Jason
Raines. I’m looking for Felice. I think you
knew my brother, Thad.” Color drained from
Jason’s face as he listened. Several minutes
passed, none of them bringing back his nor-
mally ruddy exterior. His voice shook when
he finally spoke. “Let me write it down.”

Sabrina gave him the pen and watched him
scribble something down, resting the phone
against his shoulder and balancing the paper
on his thigh. When he stopped writing, he
stood and said, “Twenty minutes, okay? I’ll
be bringing my parents, too.” He stared off
into the distance after he ended the call. Still
reeling from his dismissal of her question
about his father, she didn’t know whether to
ask about the conversation. A side of Jason
she hadn’t met before stood right there and
nothing in their relationship had prepared
her for this new man.

302/432

“We’ve found her,” he said at last. “Thank
you.” Concerned with yet another change in
his demeanor, she tested his foul mood.

“Yeah, but what was so important that Thad
wanted you to get in contact?” 83

Dee Carney

Jason moved to the street and waved down
another cab. “The day Teddy went boating,
he’d called me to come with him. The part I
didn’t tell you was that he wanted to talk to
me about a situation he was in. You’ve got to
understand that Teddy’s been in trouble half
of his life.” He waited until he’d given the
driver the address to the business only two
blocks away. “Hold on.”

She nodded and watched him make another
phone call.

303/432

“Mom, I’m coming to pick you and Gibson
up. Tell him don’t give me any shit because
this is about Teddy, not me. If he’ll stay civil,
so will I. The both of you need to be here for
this.” He returned his attention to Sabrina
after disconnecting. “You know the kid who’s
always wearing black and making death
threats with the way he looks at you? Well,
that was Teddy as a senior in high school. An
up-and-coming juvenile delinquent.”

It must have been hard for Thad to have two
brothers who were his polar opposite.

From her understanding, both Reid and
Jason made good grades, participated in
after-school activities and had a future wait-
ing for them.

“Even if he didn’t actually do something
wrong, he was the kid people fingered be-
cause he looked like he was up to no good,
you know? I spent a lot of time providing an

304/432

alibi, sometimes truthfully, sometimes not,
when we were growing up.” What he’d said
about not wanting to go boating the day his
brother disappeared now made sense. “You
didn’t want to hear it, right? Tired of clean-
ing up after him?” The cab pulled to a stop in
front of the shop, not more than two or three
minutes after they’d left it. “Yeah.” He poin-
ted toward the opening door with his chin.
“Do me a favor and don’t say anything to him
while we do this, okay?”

“What about the rest of the story? What did
Felice say?” Jason kept his attention on his
approaching parents, saying nothing. Rue
squeezed in beside him, but Gibson, thank-
fully, chose to sit up front after assisting Rue
inside.

Sabrina almost leaned forward to start an-
other conversation with Rue, but the look
Jason shot her put an end to that thought in
a hurry.

305/432

What the hell was going on? Jason’s fingers
curled so tightly with hers, she winced.

She tried to help calm him down some by
caressing his hand, but if he noticed her, she
couldn’t tell. He stared at the back of Gib-
son’s neck, boring into it with enough hostil-
ity to cut through to bone. Gibson had to feel
the weight of his gaze, but chose not to turn
around and address it. She would have loved
to take Rue aside and find out more about
the vehemence between the men.

She might have to take her out to lunch and
find out anyway. Jason didn’t appear amen-
able to even considering opening that skelet-
al closet.

Thankfully, the ride ended without incident
though she expected one every mile or so
along the way. Instead, they pulled up to an
old brownstone. It sat away from the street, a
black wrought iron fence caging it in. A few

306/432

brown, decaying bushes lined the brick walk-
way within. Closer to the doorway, rose
bushes, devoid of the pretty flowers, sat limp
and untended.

84

Intimate Whispers

Curtains on the second floor shifted, catch-
ing Sabrina’s attention. Jason released her
hand and followed his mother out of the cab.
By the time she looked up again, the cur-
tain’s movement had stopped. Unthinking,
she reached for Jason’s hand again as they
walked to the entrance, but his fingers hung
loose when she tried to grip them. She
looked up at him, but he remained focused
on Gibson. The way her father stared at
where their hands connected sent a chill skit-
tering down her spine. Jason made a soft
sound, like a growl, and shook loose her
touch.

307/432

Her heart sank into her stomach. She expec-
ted him to latch on to her support, not shun
it. What hold did Gibson Raines hold over
his son? For the first time, he made her
question what feelings Jason truly had for
her. If a man he despised could cause him to
push her aside, forgotten for some indeterm-
inate amount of time, what might happen
when someone he truly cared about had
something to say?

The worst part was she didn’t know what ex-
actly he pushed away. Was it her as a person
that put distaste in his mouth? The color of
her skin?

Okay. Slow down. He’d introduced her to his
mother. Men didn’t take that kind of step
lightly.

His mother wasn’t the problem, though. A
man’s true worth had to be in those mo-
ments when faced with adversity. Did he

308/432

choose to stand and fight? Or walk away,
meek and with a whimper? If she had to
name his actions now…

Felice.

Thad’s voice was so soft, she almost dis-
missed it. But it broke through her musing,
and pulled her thoughts in a whole new dir-
ection. She fought the urge to pull back and
speak with him, or to force Jason to slow
down while his parents moved out of earshot
to let him know about the voice of his broth-
er. One look into his blazing eyes squelched
that idea. With an odd twinge of disappoint-
ment, she waited for Thad to speak again, to
say something about why they were here
since Jason wouldn’t drag his attention from
Gibson. At least the older man behaved in a
civilized manner. The way Jason leaned for-
ward, hackles raised, none of them could
doubt who would strike first if provoked.

309/432

A noise from the small front porch made her
look forward. A slender young woman
stepped through the open doorway, a hesit-
ant smile on her face. At last, something be-
sides Gibson held Jason’s attention.

“Felice? I’m Jason. We spoke on the phone.”

Sabrina watched relief flood through her. It
started in the way Felice released the breath
she held, in the slow close of her eyes, of the
trickle of tears that seeped from her closed
lids. “Oh my God,” she breathed. “He didn’t
tell me…he didn’t say anything.” Jason
rushed forward and embraced her in a crush-
ing hug.

Standing next to Rue and Gibson, Sabrina
watched, stunned.

“What’s going on?” Rue whispered.

310/432

All she could do was shake her head. “No
idea,” Sabrina whispered back.

85

Dee Carney

Felice cried against Jason’s shoulder and he
rubbed her back, comforting her. She clung
to him as if he were her last hope. Pangs of
jealousy she had no business feeling rocketed
through her, but Sabrina remained with the
others, watching and waiting.

“Hey,” Gibson shouted. He annoyed her. She
knew his type. Loud. Impatient. Self-import-
ant. “Are we just gonna stand here or what?
Your mother and I have a business to run.”
He glanced toward Sabrina. “I have better
things to do with my time than spend it like
this.”

311/432

Like this. Something about the way he said
those last two words made her vision go red.
Sabrina had a feeling he held himself back,
but by a thin thread. Unfortunately,
whatever he held back would not go down
well when he finally let it go.

This was Jason’s father? How much of his
toxic personality had Jason inherited?

Felice’s face was red and streaked. She tried
wiping away the excess moisture, but only
succeeded in spreading it down her neck.
“I’m sorry,” she gulped. “I’m sorry. It’s just I
can’t believe Thad had family. Please, please
come in. I’m Felice Hamilton.” Jason turned
and remembered the rest of them at last. He
nodded to them in order.

“This is my father, Gibson, my mother, Rue.
And uh, this is Sabrina. A friend.” Sabrina’s
eyebrows rose before she could recall them.

312/432

“Please,” continued Felice, “come in.”

She had little choice but to follow the others
inside.

Inside Felice’s home was crowded, but well
maintained. Tasteful art decorated the walls.
The curtains hanging from the windows were
floral and bright. Large bookshelves lined
one wall, the shelves overflowing with used
paperbacks. Along the windowsills, different
containers held a variety of greenery. What
caught her eye upon first entering though
was the playpen crammed with toys sitting in
one corner.

Somebody had spent a small fortune in
stuffed animals, developmental blocks and
colorful, large cars.

Felice gestured for them to sit. Rue sat next
to her husband on the couch shaped in an L,
but for the first time, Sabrina was stymied on

313/432

her next move. Did she sit next to Rue, who
at least never dropped her friendly overtures,
or next to Jason, whose attention remained
fixed on Felice? He even sat next to her now.

Her stomach turned over.

Sabrina moved to the window, pretending
the view outside was more interesting than
the goings-on in the room. Right.

“Thad told me he didn’t have any family.”
She paused when Rue gasped. “I thought he
just didn’t want to be… I thought he’d just
left. That’s it.”

“Tell them what you told me, Felice.”

Jason spoke so softly Sabrina almost turned
to face him, but if she looked into his eyes
and saw any interest in this woman he’d met
in person only a few minutes ago, she’d hurl.

314/432

“My last conversation with him was so
heated. We fought. I mean really fought.” 86

Intimate Whispers

“Over what, dear?”

Felice.

Thad again. This time, his voice was miser-
able in tone, something she’d never picked
up from any of the other spirits before.
Despair yes, but nothing like this.

“He said he… I told him I was pregnant.”

Sabrina whipped around in time to catch the
stunned looks on Gibson’s and Rue’s faces.
For the first time, Gibson earned some sym-
pathy from her. He looked as if he’d aged
about twenty years. Rue, on the other hand,
looked nothing less than delighted.

“Bullshit,” sputtered Gibson.

315/432

“Shush yourself,” Rue countered, her hand
lighting on his knee. He reached for it, wrap-
ping his fingers around hers.

Felice gave a bitter laugh. “He felt the same
way. I was on birth control because I had no
plans for children at this point in my life
either. You can imagine his immediate reac-
tion when I gave him the news.”

“When was this?” Jason asked.

“After I figured everything out, maybe a few
weeks before he disappeared.” Sabrina
watched Jason for his reaction. The news
Thad wanted to share with him, the
“trouble”, had to be advice on what to do
with this situation. Guilt must have been eat-
ing a hole through him now.

Rue smiled at the clutter of children’s toys. “I
take it we have a grandchild, then?

316/432

Right?”

“Wait a minute,” Gibson interrupted. “No of-
fense, but we don’t know you from Adam.
Jason calls us out of the clear blue to visit
some woman’s house without giving us a
reason and when we get here, it’s to find out
she supposedly had Thad’s baby? Do you all
really expect us to buy that without some
sort of proof?” She’d had the same thoughts.
Where was Felice when Thad disappeared?
Why hadn’t she tried harder to find the fath-
er of her baby?

“If you would have seen how angry Thad
was, you wouldn’t be questioning me now,
Mr. Raines. When he stopped calling, when I
couldn’t get in touch with him, I got angry
too. I wanted this baby and didn’t need his
approval or support. So I did what was best
for me and the baby and I went back home to
where my family would welcome us with
open arms.” A single tear slid down her face.

317/432

“I was supposed to be punishing him by not
letting him find me. I moved back a year ago,
and a mutual friend told me what
happened.”

“I still call bullshit,” said Gibson. Sabrina de-
cided she really, really disliked the man.
“Why not let us know about the baby before
now?”

“Let’s imagine that I actually knew about you
and tried to contact you. How would it have
looked? Years after your son dies I show up
on your doorstep claiming to have his child.
What kind of reception would you have given
me then? Look at how you’re 87

Dee Carney

reacting now. Thad wasn’t returning my
calls. He wouldn’t speak to me. If he was re-
jecting me then, what more could I expect
from his family?” Appropriately chastised,

318/432

Gibson pursed his lips and sat back against
the couch.

“If Jason hadn’t called me today, I don’t
know if I would have ever sought you out.

Although I guess a small part of me wanted
to believe he had family or someone who
would find me. Maybe that’s why I kept my
old cell number, too.

“And I’ll tell you this. Some part of me wants
Theo to know his father’s side of the family,
but another part of me is still angry with
Thad, for not wanting us when he had the
chance. I’m still punishing him, don’t you
see?” Rue stood and crossed the room. She
dropped into a crouch before Felice and took
the woman’s hands in her own. “You’re not
punishing Thad, sweetheart. He’s dead. If
you keep his son away from us, you’re pun-
ishing us, his family.” The women looked at
each other for a silent pause. Finally Felice

319/432

said, “Would you like to meet, Theo? I
named him partly after my dad, Leo, and
your son.” Help me.

Sabrina drew in a breath at the new voice.
Dear God, the moment she dreaded had ar-
rived. With Jason being so distant, and this
scene belonging strictly to family, the timing
was perfect for her to make her excuses and
go home to Him. But she stood at a cross-
road. Did she tell Jason about her need, bor-
dering on addiction, for Him, or did she con-
tinue to live this lie, praying like hell he nev-
er discovered the truth for himself?

Either way, she had to decide now. The
voices, as usual, would ramp up in number
and intensity before too long.

“Are you okay?”

She looked up, not realizing the subject of
her thoughts had moved to her side. “I’m

320/432

fine. I’m thinking about leaving. This is for
you and your family to deal with.” His smile
seemed forced. “We wouldn’t be here
without you.” He turned and watched Felice
lead his parents into the back, presumably
where Theo must have been.

“I think it’s appropriate for you to share in it
with us. It’s a happy occasion despite the way
things feel right now.”

“I’m not comfortable around your dad—”

“No one is.”

“Or the way you behave with me when he’s
around.” His face blanked, to the point she
couldn’t read his emotion and that scared
her.

One thing about Jason, she knew almost ex-
actly what he was thinking at any given

321/432

moment. Now, with his moods so volatile,
she questioned if she really knew him at all.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“When we’re together normally, you can’t
stop touching me. We’re always kissing or
holding hands or hugging or something.
Anyone who looks at us would know we’re a
couple. But now? Look at us. You keep your-
self in check, totally closed off to me when
he’s here. I don’t think I should have to put
up with that, do you?” 88

Intimate Whispers

He pushed a hand through his hair. “You’re
not putting up with anything.”

“You just introduced me as your friend. Your
friend? It’s okay to call me your girlfriend to
your mom, who loves you. But in front of
your dad—and believe me, I recognize what a

322/432

miserable person he is—and in front of a
stranger, I’ve been demoted to a friend.
What is it about me that you’re all of a sud-
den reluctant to claim me as more?”

“He’s—he’s not open-minded and I didn’t
want to subject you to that.”

“Open-minded? What does…oh, I see.” She
placed her hand on her hips. “You know
what? I know I’m gonna jump the gun here
by at least a few months, but tell me, at what
point would you decide that what he thinks
doesn’t matter? If we decided that we wanted
to get married, or have a baby, would you
still shy away from telling him about our re-
lationship because he’s not open-minded?”

“Sabrina—”

“You know, I’m not sure he’s the problem
here, so I’ll tell you what, why don’t we take a
little break, huh? I’m gonna go home and

323/432

you come see me after you’ve had some time
to think.”

“Sabrina, don’t do this.”

Help me… Find James…

Tears prickled the backs of her eyes, but she
held them back. Part of this argument was
valid, true. But the greater reason for putting
Jason on the defensive was about separating
from him. She had to get away, to put some
brakes on their rapid romance while betray-
ing him.

Shoving past him, she flew out the front door
with a split second’s regret she wouldn’t say
goodbye to Rue. By the time she made it onto
the stone pathway, a combination of used
toast, cheese and tomatoes came bubbling up
to the surface and it was all Sabrina could do
to bend over one of the gnarled bushes and
vomit behind it.

324/432

Footsteps thudded up the pathway, heading
in her direction.

“Are you okay? Baby?” Jason placed a com-
forting hand on her shoulder while she
brought up the rest of her breakfast.

Dots of perspiration broke out along her
forehead, and she wanted to turn around and
curl up in his embrace. She wanted to lean
against him and revel in his support.

Stomach still heaving, she wiped her mouth
with the back of her arm and pushed away
from him. “Leave me alone, Jason.”

“Why are you doing this?” From waterlogged
eyes, she saw the concern on his face.

Heard the regret in his voice.

This was best, though. For both of them.

Help me… Find James…

325/432

“Oh God,” she moaned. This curse, damn it
to hell, this curse ruled her life.

Everything good that tried to hold on was
ripped away because she couldn’t rid herself
of the voices.

89

Dee Carney

Without looking back at him, she ran for the
street. Needed to find a way home now be-
fore the sounds broke her. A yellow cab
barreled down the road toward her, but she
couldn’t tell if the driver saw her frantically
waving arms. Glancing in Jason’s direction,
she took a deep breath and stepped into the
path of the oncoming vehicle.

“Sabrina!” Jason’s cry almost drowned out
the sounds of squealing brakes and tires.

326/432

The acrid smell of burnt rubber filled the air
and she closed her eyes, braced for impact.

The roar of the engine was deafening as the
machine worked hard to combat the forces of
nature and push back against the mo-
mentum hurtling the vehicle forward.

By the time the car stopped, waves of heat
rolled from the hood and reinforced the
sweat trickling down her face. Her chest
heaved as she caught her breath, half certain
she shouldn’t have been alive and half thank-
ful she was. The driver’s eyes were as big and
round as dinner plates when she ran up to
the passenger door, threw it open and flung
herself inside.

“Drive, drive!” she screamed at him, knowing
she looked as insane as she felt, but she had
to get away from Jason. Had to get home to
Him before it was too late. “Drive!” He did.

327/432

* * * * *

What the fuck just happened?

“Jason! Jason, are you all right? Where’s
Sabrina going?” Still stunned, he searched
for an answer to give Rue. “We had an argu-
ment,” he muttered.

Baby babble drifted to him and Jason turned
to find Gibson and Felice watching them
from the porch. In her arms, Felice carried a
toddler. His racing heart slowed down, a re-
luctant smile creasing his face. “He looks ex-
actly like Teddy did at that age.

Right, mom?”

His mother kept looking at the street,
searching in vain for his fleeing girlfriend.

Rue looked as if she wanted to question him
further about Sabrina, but after a few

328/432

minutes, she looked back with him and
smiled. “The spitting image. You can tell he’s
gonna be tall like him, too.”

Jason walked to Felice and ran his hand over
Theo’s small, round head. The little boy
ducked and hid himself from Jason’s further
scrutiny. He wore a pair of denim overalls
over a striped t-shirt. His large, bare feet
supported his mother’s observation about his
future height. Cute.

While Jason didn’t know Teddy at this age,
he’d spent the past few years studying photo-
graphs of him enough to recognize his son.
Even if anyone insisted on a DNA test, he
sincerely doubted it would tell them any-
thing he didn’t already know in his gut.

Theo was Teddy’s child.

329/432

“This isn’t over, right?” he asked, looking up
at Felice. “We’re all going to stay in touch
and be a family?”

90

Intimate Whispers

She replied, “I’d like that” at the same time
Gibson grunted.

Anger simmering, Jason pointed a finger at
him. “Don’t. Don’t you dare push another
family member away from us. If you don’t
want to be a part of Theo’s life, get the fuck
out.”

Theo, still face-tucked against his mother’s
neck, started to cry.

“I don’t know where you and I went wrong,
old man, but you are not going to come in
between me and another person again. Not

330/432

the way you tried to drive a wedge between
me and Teddy.”

“Who do you think you’re talking to? Any
problems you have with other people has
nothing to do with me.”

They’d rehashed this argument too many
times to recount. Concerned with Sabrina
and her sudden departure, Jason would not
let this become yet another one. “You see
that woman who just left? Sabrina?”

Gibson didn’t acknowledge the question, but
his eyes darted in the direction of the fleeing
cab.

“Let me tell you something. I’m going to
marry that woman some day. So whatever
you have to do to get yourself ready to accept
that, do it. If you ever want to be a part of
our future, of the future of any children we
might have, you’d better start changing your

331/432

ways. Starting with how you relate to me.”
He hadn’t known what he was going to say
until the words left his mouth.

Marriage? When had he crossed the line with
her? Now that the words were out in the
open, he realized he looked forward to more
than just sex. He wanted a lifetime of being
together.

The more he thought about it though, the
more he accepted the declaration. His feel-
ings still wavered from time to time. They
still had some hidden issue between them
that needed to be explored, but he wanted
that chance to explore the future with her.

Only her. Whatever happened during that
time, he wanted to face together. He loved
her.

He kissed Theo’s head once again and ran a
hand over Felice’s arm before turning and

332/432

walking down the steps. Before passing
through the wrought iron fence, he bent and
kissed his mother’s cheek. “I love you,
Mom.” Gibson he ignored as he left.

Waving down a cab was less adventuresome
when he did it. Still, he shuddered to think
about how close Sabrina had come to getting
hit by the approaching car.

Something sent her running scared. Running
blind. It wasn’t the first time he’d seen her in
this state, and with a weight of dread in his
stomach, he realized the last time had been
about a week ago. And about a week before
that. Both times coinciding with an on-
slaught of voices that put Sabrina in danger.

Was that the cycle then? The voices came to
her about once a week, not for a long time,
but long enough to make her irrational.
Especially about getting home.

333/432

91

Dee Carney

He frowned.

What was so special about her place that she
sought

refuge

there

every

time

this

happened? The last time she’d needed a safe
haven, she’d come out of it battered and
bruised, a fact that still made his stomach
knot.

He needed to get home. He needed to find
Sabrina. And they needed to talk.

The cab ride to their apartment building took
entirely too long for him. Every time they
stopped for a red light, or for a pedestrian
who lingered a little too long in the cross-
walk, he ground his teeth together. All he
could imagine was Sabrina locked in her

334/432

apartment with the mysterious man from her
past threatening her life or worse.

His fingers drummed along the thigh of his
trousers. Why hadn’t he pushed harder to
know about the voices? So intent on finding
Teddy, it never occurred to him that hearing
them might put her in danger. Goddamn it.
Clues had been laid out before him and
blind, he ignored every single one.

This time when he took the stairs two at a
time up to the fourth floor, his heart
hammered, not from exertion, but fear.

When he turned the knob to Sabrina’s door,
it never occurred to him that she might have
gotten into the infrequent habit of locking it.
As many times as he’d admonished her for
the oversight, she shrugged him off, stating it
only mattered to her at night. She had noth-
ing to steal. If he tried to point out her safety

335/432

meant more to him than her possessions, she
deftly ignored him.

It turned smoothly in his hand, and he let
out the breath he hadn’t realized he held.

“Sabrina?” She wasn’t in the kitchen or living
room, so made his way down the hall to her
bedroom. She’d had a good five-minute head
start and the front door was unlocked.
Where the hell was she?

“Hey, baby? You here?”

He stopped cold at the threshold to her
room.

Jesus.

The last thing he expected to find when her
bedroom door swung open was Sabrina na-
ked and beautiful, spread in one of the most

336/432

seductive poses he’d ever witnessed in his
life.

From his position, he first witnessed the un-
derside

of

her

rounded

breasts,

the

chocolate-colored tips of her nipples aroused
and all but calling to him. Not only that.

Sabrina’s hand cupped the triangle of hair
between her thighs, her finger stroking up
and down her cleft with an exaggerated slow-
ness that sent blood flooding to his dick.

She rolled her hips toward him, inviting him
to sample her sweet cream when she spread
her thighs even wider.

Jason waffled between immediate lust and
confusion. “Sab—” She shot upright, remov-
ing her hand and closing her thighs, cutting
off the tantalizing view. “Oh my God. Jason,
you have to go.” 92

337/432

Intimate Whispers

His dick stood at half-mast, his heart pound-
ing from finding his girlfriend in such a pro-
vocative position. “Go? Wha…did I… I
thought…” Thoughts rolled over on one an-
other, but he was still too caught up in the
vision of beauty he’d espied. How the hell did
he form a coherent sentence after that?

“Jason, please…please…” She looked wide-
eyed around the room, on anything and
everything but him.

“We have to talk about what happened
today.” And maybe talk a little bit about what
she’d been doing in the last couple of
minutes.

“Later, please, Jason. You have to go.”

338/432

“Go? I don’t mean to be arrogant here, but
you’re naked and lying there and I’d be a fool
to ignore you.”

Her voice wavered. “Please.”

“I don’t understand. Are you saying
we’re—us—we’re over?”

“No, not that, but…you have to go. You
caught me masturbating and I’d really prefer
a few minutes to die of embarrassment
here.” She laughed, but it didn’t sound
happy. “Just for a little while, go. Trust me,
okay?” A wave of relief swept through him
with those words. Obviously, she wanted pri-
vacy to finish what she’d started, but she
only had to breathe at him the right way and
he’d rush forward and complete the job. No
questions asked.

339/432

Instead, he backed up slowly. “I’ll leave, but I
want you to promise that you’ll call me or
come on over later, okay?”

She gave him a hesitant smile. “Sure.”

Jason turned on his heel, his staccato heart-
beat at last under control. The day’s events
caught up with him and his mood elevated.
He hadn’t spoken with Teddy, but had been
pointed in the direction of Teddy’s family.
Things were still shaky with Gibson, but
smoothing out their relationship wouldn’t
happen overnight. They’d taken a small step
and that was huge. Despite the disagreement
with Sabrina, at least they’d crossed that
hurdle and survived it intact. They would
talk later and they would be fine.

And most importantly, he’d come to the real-
ization he wanted to marry her one day. Not
necessarily any time soon, but if their

340/432

romance stayed its course, the possibility
floored him. In a good way.

He turned around again. One last endear-
ment to let her know before they parted.

“Sabrina—”

Her face lost the erotic happiness he saw in it
only seconds ago and morphed into this
mask of stark fear. She kneeled on the bed,
trembling, the bed sheets clenched between
curled fists.

“No…no…no…” She’d gone pale, her expres-
sion a mask of fear. One that spiked through
him and kept him in the cold clutches of ter-
ror as he watched her deal with the voices on
her own. “Oh God, no,” she moaned. “He’s
leaving. I swear, he’s leaving.

Please.”

341/432

93

Dee Carney

He knew at once this had to do with him.
Whatever the voices said, whatever they
were about to do, hinged on the fact he stood
in her room after she’d already asked him to
leave. Still, it was his worry for her that re-
mained foremost in his mind. He could
handle whatever they threw his way, but he
would not stand by and do nothing while she
suffered. “What is it, baby?”

“He’s gonna leave right now. See?” She
waved her hands frantically at Jason, shoo-
ing him toward the doorway.

Standing his ground took a reserve of
strength. It was either very brave…

Or very foolish.

342/432

“Talk to me. Tell me what’s going on.”

She shook her head at him, another signal to
either go, or at least remain quiet. He tensed,
dying to know what was going through her
mind. Needing to know what they told her.
He still wondered about the antipsychotic
prescription she’d made him shred.

Had he made a mistake in believing medica-
tion wouldn’t help her?

Tears tracked down Sabrina’s face, making
his heart clench.

“Please, no,” she moaned. “You don’t need
him here. He’s leaving.” Torn, Jason still
waffled. Leave or stay? Neither option held
any appeal. Finally, he decided that he had to
trust her and honor her wishes. Still, each
backward step felt like the one that would be
his last on the face of the earth. One wrong
step, maybe the next one, or the one after

343/432

that, would take him tumbling over a ledge.
A fall from which he could never recover.

Sabrina cried out, a sound of pain that made
the hair rise on his neck. “Jason, wait!” Fuck.
What was going on?

He was dying to question her, but obviously
something important he was not privy to was
happening in the room.

She made another sound of anguish, kow-
towing into a position of complete kneeling
submission. Her shoulders pressed toward
the bed, but behind, he saw the way her
thighs were spread, open and inviting.

They kept their gazes locked on one another,
but he couldn’t get past the fear rippling
within hers. “Are you okay?” he mouthed si-
lently. Who the hell knew if the voices could
hear him, but he wasn’t going to take any
chances.

344/432

Her chest lifted as a sob broke out of her
throat. Her head slowly shook from side to
side, the universal signal for “no”.

When she started speaking, he didn’t catch if
her words were meant for him or for the
voices. The more she spoke, however, the
more horror that seeped through him.

“Some say what happens to me when I hear
the voices is a gift. But only someone who
has never had to listen to the anguished cries
of the dead, the incessant pleading and
moaning, would ever call this a gift. At first
it’s only one voice, then another and another.
Soon, it’s so overwhelming I can’t hear my-
self think.” Her voice grew more bitter.

94

Intimate Whispers

345/432

“But,” she continued, “I found a way to put
an end to it. Or rather, it found me. For a few
hours, I let myself go and it’s a small sacri-
fice. Not even a sacrifice. An exchange.”
Jason dared to take a step forward. “What
kind of exchange? With whom?”

“Him. He came forward and gave me a way
out. He drove the voices away and kept my
sanity intact. Please forgive me, Jason.”

“Forgive you for what? You’ve never done
anything—”

“I give myself to him. All of myself. Hours of
his pleasure. Days of my freedom.” He
frowned, still not understanding.

“You don’t get it do you?”

“What could be so wrong?”

346/432

Tears still ran down her cheeks, but she kept
her voice smooth and coherent. “I fuck him.
Once a week, sometimes more, he comes to
me and I let him… I let him.” A new wave of
anger simmered his blood. “You and some
ghost or something, you have sex?”

“I haven’t found another way. I don’t know
how else to deal with it. You don’t know what
it’s like. You don’t know how scared I am
when it happens. When I lose chunks of time
and can’t recollect what happened in them.
Do you know how many times I’ve been
hospitalized?”

“How could I know? You won’t talk to me.
And now that you do, it’s to tell me this…”
He threw his hands into his hair, using his
fingers to pull at the base. Maybe he was
dreaming. Some fucked-up nightmare that
would end any minute now.

347/432

“Four years in Saint Hope trying to convince
the psychiatrists there that I’m not crazy.
Every time I visit the ER, having to work like
hell to make sure they don’t think I’m a
danger to myself or others. Otherwise, end
up involuntarily incarcerated for my trouble.
That’s happened twice already.”

Four years at a well-known psychiatric insti-
tute. The same one where Kelly worked as an
administrative assistant, in fact. Twice being
involuntarily committed until they deemed
her well enough to be on her own. Jesus.
What else had she been through?

“So this is what’s happening now? The voices
are back and you need this…this thing to
drive them away for you?”

“Don’t judge me.” A new surge of venom
seized her words. “I don’t have a choice.”

348/432

“I have—I don’t know how to deal with this. I
have to go.” He half-turned, about to leave
this madness behind, but Sabrina cried out
again.

“Please,” she murmured. “Leave him alone.”

Fuck. Despite his anger, he couldn’t leave her
like this. “What’s going on?” She lifted her
gaze to meet his. “He says you have to stay.
He wants—he wants you to,” her throat
caught before she finished her sentence,
“watch.”

“Stay? For you two…no, I don’t.”

95

Dee Carney

Sabrina tried to muffle the sound, but her
low moan started somewhere in her belly.

349/432

On her back, near the healing puncture
wounds, a thin line of blood ran from a new
cut across her shoulder blade.

His heart plummeted at the sight. So this
creature of hers was the “man” who’d hurt
her? From the looks of things, he threatened
more of the same now.

“Why’s it doing this?” he demanded. She
called this an exchange. This thing had no
reason to cause her pain.

Hoarsely, she replied, “Jealousy.”

Resigned, Sabrina waited for Jason to bolt.
It’s what she might have done in his shoes.
What kind of woman told her boyfriend that
she had sex with another man because she
had to? Not because she wanted to, but be-
cause she had to.

Right.

350/432

What would he say if she told him that she
welcomed His touch each time? That she’d
been alone for so long, she’d forgotten what
it was like to have a real man make love to
her. Much less love her.

What about if she told him now that some
twisted sense of arousal made her stomach
flutter now? To think Jason might watch her
with another, or maybe, even participate. Be-
cause she allowed it didn’t mean she loved
Him. To her, their relationship was too sym-
biotic for emotions to find room.

Even now, He stroked her lips, listening in-
tently to what she told Jason, no doubt, but
also readying her for their tryst.

No matter how she tried though, she kept
looking into the hurt on her lover’s face and
couldn’t channel the stimulation she needed
to ensure she enjoyed this. His touch was not
Jason’s touch. His attention not the same.

351/432

“Jason, please don’t leave me. Not now.” She
didn’t fear His repercussions. That she could
handle. But if Jason walked out before they
talked it over, before she could make him un-
derstand what it was like, she’d never get
him back. She knew that as sure as she knew
her own name.

He collapsed onto his knees and the impact
must have been excruciating, but his gaze
didn’t waver from hers. “Do you understand
how much I care for you? I told my father
today…I told him…”

The tip of Him pushed into her pussy and
though her eyes threatened to close, she
forced them open, swallowing down her usu-
al moan of pleasure. Her body felt numb.

Any stirring tonight came from habit—for no
other reason. Only the cool trickle of mois-
ture tracking down her cheeks reminded her

352/432

she still cried for Jason. Cried for what He
forced her to do in front of him.

It didn’t even make sense. She’d given up al-
most everything for Him. And now, when
she’d found one last person to cling to in this
world, He did everything to make certain she
ended up giving him up too.

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Intimate Whispers

She wasn’t stupid. The second this was over,
Jason would be gone from her life forever.

He thrust forward, a surge meant to take the
wind out of her and that’s exactly what it did.
Jason rocked toward her, the concern he
tried to shake off still foremost.

“Are you okay?”

353/432

This time she gave in and averted her gaze.
She wouldn’t look at him, watching the
caring—the love—in his eyes. “I’ll be fine.
Just, please. Stay and it’ll be over soon.” She
hoped. Maybe he would consider her punish-
ment reason enough not to prolong their
coupling, but that went against the whole
idea of punishment in the first place, didn’t
it?

A swirling sensation began in her belly. The
all too familiar rush of orgasm starting in its
usual place until it spread, locking her limbs
and vocal cords until all she could do was
tremble. Small, gasping sounds escaped
while she did, turning Him—and Jason—

on even more.

This time was so different though. While she
couldn’t fight physiology, the emotions usu-
ally accompanying orgasmic highs had gone
missing.

354/432

“If you had any other way, would this still
happen?”

“Oh God,” she cried out. A vibration rippled
through her body. A shake of her head
helped fight off the looming rush. “No. No,
believe me, if there were any other way.”

“Does he treat you well?”

That question startled her into looking up.
“Usually. Not always.” There was something
surreal about this. They carried on a regular
conversation, neither behaving as if her sex
perfumed the air, moans and small cries in-
terrupting her responses.

“When will it be over?”

“When he…after…he will finish inside me. I
don’t know for certain, but I think that’s
what keeps them away.” Them. The voices.

355/432

Talking became too much of a task now. Her
face dropped toward the bed, her eyes slam-
ming shut against the wave. She fought it for
as long as she could, all the while knowing
she only prolonged the inevitable.

As if to prove the point, only seconds later
her muscles locked, a scream trapped in her
throat, as she trembled through the first viol-
ent orgasm. It caught her with a force that
was more embarrassing than erotic. Her
nipples hardened, though, and her pussy
pulsed, gripping Him tighter and urging his
own release. She didn’t know how long she
froze beneath Him as He pounded into her.

Awareness slowly seeped back into her con-
sciousness. The smell of sex. The methodic
tick of a clock from maybe the living room.
The harsh scissoring of her breath.

356/432

Her cheeks were molten, but the moment
she looked up to find Jason studying her, she
wished the flame would engulf her whole.

97

Dee Carney

“I’m sorry,” she croaked through a dry
throat.

Jason said nothing.

He watched as she lost track of time. She’d
long since given up fighting the waves of or-
gasm He coaxed from her again and again.
They’d been doing this together for too long.
He knew her weak points, pinpointed the
sweet ones with unerring accuracy.

Sweat poured off her in sheets, slickening
her back and soaking the bed beneath. Jason
remained stoic, his attention never leaving

357/432

her. He sat with his back braced by the wall,
but he stayed. For now.

She’d stopped blushing after recovery maybe
four or five orgasms ago. Now, she remained
resigned. The inevitability of what would
happen once He left almost not worth fight-
ing against any longer.

Jason would leave. She would be alone once
again. He would be her sole companion.

She’d been a fool to believe this time might
be different. That He would allow her some
small semblance of happiness in this mad-
dening world of hers where voices and the
dead were more familiar to her than the
neighbors in this building. She’d wanted a
little romance. Maybe even a shot at love.
Stupidly.

So tired now. She wanted rest. To be left
alone.

358/432

Her fingers screamed in pain as she let go of
the sheets. They’d been curled around the
material so tightly, clenched into fists so
hard, now they ached when she moved them.
But she didn’t want to fight anymore.

Sabrina relaxed her back, allowing a sway to
slightly lower her belly to the bed. The
muscles on her thighs released all tension,
no longer working to push back against His
thrusts. Her knees sank into the soft mat-
tress, no longer supporting her weight and
the force of His. She spread her arms, her
limbs almost lifeless as she surrendered.

Yes. Total and absolute surrender.

She’d lost Jason.

She

belonged

to

Him.

And

maybe—probably—for the rest of her life, al-
ways would.

359/432

Although resigned, she felt the first pulse.
The swelling of His cock and the release of
his seed immediately afterward. She waited
time eternal as He poured Himself into her,
the timing too perfect to be anything other
than His approval of her submission.

Mind and body numb, she barely registered
when at last He withdrew.

The heaviness of His presence dissipated un-
til the effort to breathe returned to normal.
None of the voices plaguing her for the past
several hours sounded. The only things left
behind were her fatigue and the scent of Him
on her skin.

“Is it over?” Jason asked quietly.

Nodding her head took almost all of her
waning energy. “I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry. .”
She wanted to say more, explain more, help
him understand, but her mind 98

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Intimate Whispers

refused to cooperate. Her heart was broken.
Her spirit, as well. Saying sorry was so inad-
equate, but wholly the truth.

“You can go now,” she whispered. Turning
her head, she closed her eyes and waited. She
could not watch him leave. Would not. What
remained of her shattered heart might blow
away to the winds if she did.

99

Dee Carney

361/432

Chapter Seven

Minutes passed. How long, she didn’t know
or care. She just kept her eyes closed, unwill-
ing to face the emptiness of her apartment
until she absolutely had to. Between her
thighs was sticky with His release and she
smelled of stale sweat, but she’d clean up
later. When she had the strength to face her
disturbed life, she’d wipe away any traces of
Him. Until the next time, at least.

Her eyelids flew open when the bed shifted.
Oh my God. He was behind her. So soon?
“No!” she shrieked. “Please, no more.”

“Shhh,” came the gentle reply. “It’s me. Not
him. Me.” Jason’s naked torso pressed
against her back, his lips touching down
along the sensitive skin of her shoulders.
When his hand caressed down the curve of

her spine, and skimmed over the roundness
of her ass, she tried to turn. “Jason—”

“Is he why you won’t accept me from be-
hind? Because of what he does to you?” He
kept a firm grip on her shoulder, keeping her
in place. All the while, his mouth nibbled
over her skin.

He’d trusted the explanation that voices al-
ways came from behind and that was the
reason for her reluctance before. Now that he
knew the truth of the matter, she didn’t
bother to keep up the half-lie. Her heart
raced, a new pounding that rippled out to
her temples. “Yes.”

“You could have told me about him. You
should have told me before now.” She
struggled to form a coherent reply. How
could she?

363/432

A warm tongue traced the lobe of her
ear—the heat that rocketed straight to her
pussy because of his wicked mouth almost
too intense to bear.

A moan vibrated through her throat.

She shouldn’t be feeling this way. Jason
couldn’t be here like this. Not touching her
like this. Not after He’d soiled her…

Jason nudged her forward, guiding her until
they left behind the bed. His body stayed
connected to hers as they walked through the
doorway, then bedroom, her shame quickly
becoming a memory.

“If you would have talked to me,” he contin-
ued, “just explained to me what you were do-
ing and why, I would have understood. I
would have raged against the idea and we
would have fought probably. I would have
demanded that you seek out another

364/432

solution. But in the end, I would have under-
stood. I understand now.” They entered the
bathroom with its tiny shower meant for one.
Lights remained off, somehow muting her
senses. Normally lulled by the soothing scent
of lavender and 100

Intimate Whispers

warm colors, her focus remained on the
sounds of Jason breathing next to her ear.
The feel of his chest faintly rising and falling
against her back.

She asked for no explanations as she waited
for him to adjust the temperature in the
shower. Too afraid he’d vanish if she probed,
she didn’t question when he led her beneath
the warm spray of water.

Obedient, she followed his direction, no
words needed. Sabrina tilted her face to the
cleansing deluge and allowed it to hide her

365/432

tears. After a moment, she realized he
wouldn’t be joining her. Eyes closed, she
waited for the water to remove His filth. Her
embarrassment. Her hurt.

Jason had left her alone in there, probably
gone for good. Putting her in the shower his
final act of kindness.

It had been so good while it lasted. Memories
she would treasure forever. Forehead touch-
ing the cool tiles, she tried to absorb them
all. Cling to every little detail of the last few
weeks with him.

Her heart hammered as warm hands slid
down her back.

“Sabrina,” he said softly, “I wouldn’t be here
if I didn’t accept your flaws. I know—

knew, what I was getting myself into and still
I wanted to stay. You must not think much of

366/432

me if you thought I couldn’t handle this.”
She only half-heard him, the distracting
things he did to her body almost too much to
take. This is what she longed for. This man’s
touch. Not the touch of the one who drove
the voices away.

Hands slickened with soap rubbed over her
body. Cleaning away her past. Wiping away
the barrier between them.

Jason distracted her from forming the right
words when he used two fingers to dip into
the moisture dripping from her pussy. Her
hips drove forward from his contact, an in-
stinctual attempt to keep him away from the
filth He’d left behind, but Jason continued
undeterred. Sabrina let out a part-whimper,
part-moan. “No… I’m unclean.

He came in me… I need—”

367/432

“You’re not unclean.” He kept washing. Kept
touching. With a delicate maneuver, he
turned her to face him and it was too much
to ask. She couldn’t meet his eyes. Not at
first.

Jason prodded her thighs apart and the real-
ization that he was naked, his cock hard,
made her gasp, her earlier assessment of
what she could and couldn’t do back-pedal-
ing. “Don’t say that. I am. The things He
does to me…” His hand slid between her
thighs again, then stroked over her clit,
arousing it once again. The delicious circling
on her clit stopped when he drew back. But
then she felt the glorious tip of him probing,
searching for her entrance.

He pushed forward, slowly stretching her.
“You’re beautiful.” His hands on her waist
tightened as he sank deeper, filling her with
himself. She tilted for him, one thigh lifting
high against his hip. “You’re…mine.”

368/432

101

Dee Carney

She groaned as he bottomed out. He stood
there without moving at first and there was
so much unsaid about his acceptance. Jason
waited, not moving, not speaking more. His
entire body pressed against hers, and in that
moment, she knew protection.

She knew acceptance. And dear God, she
knew love.

“Why?” As much as she wanted this, needed
him, her voice cracked speaking the one-
word question. Did he understand what he
took on? This curse was not some one-time
event that she never had to deal with again.
This was her life. Would always be her life.
Was he really willing to stand by her know-
ing she had no choice, that she could never
change this horrible, ugly fate?

369/432

Jason’s lips traveled over her skin, a worship
of her flesh that continued even during her
hesitation. His kisses were delicate. His fin-
gers curled around hers, and Sabrina
grasped onto him, not wanting to hear his
answer, but needing to.

She tilted her face, seeking him, and Jason’s
mouth captured hers. He kissed her long and
hard, his tongue curling around hers, his
breath mingling with hers. Without hearing
him speak, his kiss was a promise of forever.

“I love you,” he murmured. His lips landed
on hers again and again. Always those beau-
tiful words whispered in between. “I don’t
know when it happened, but I know with
everything I am. I love you. This, who you
are, we’ll deal with together.” Her throat
tightened and she couldn’t speak. She
couldn’t say those lovely words back to him.
He didn’t know what he claimed. He couldn’t

370/432

know what this meant for them. But later
they would talk. Later…

She made a soft sound. A note of encourage-
ment for him to continue.

The feel of Him was different from this.
Jason gave all of himself, not using his body
as a means to prolong torture, but as an of-
fering. He gave to her what he took for him-
self. When the slow build up of pressure in
her belly became a wave that threatened to
sweep her away and drown her, she gave in
to it, not fearful of the result, but knowing
her Jason would keep her safe during the
flood. So she let herself become swept away,
pulled to safety, before being released again.
She clung to Jason’s hand, with the tide
rising, soaring, swelling within her and when
the first shock waves of intimacy rippled
through her, Sabrina thought of Him, of her
unhappy past, of Jason, and an unexplored
future…

371/432

And she let go.

* * * * *

“Don’t stop talking until I understand!”
Jason shouted before catching himself.

“Sorry,” he muttered.

He stared at her, all of his frustration mount-
ing against an impossible situation. She ex-
plained this thing, incubus, whatever, she
called him or he, but it didn’t make any
sense. There had to be a beginning to this
story, and more importantly, an end. If they
had any shot at a future together, they had to
find it. He didn’t blame her for submitting
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Intimate Whispers

to him—it—and he loved her strength for
dealing with this torture on her own for so

372/432

long and Goddamn it, if he had to, if he had
absolutely no other choice, he could turn a
blind eye to this pillaging.

But not before putting up a fight.

Sabrina took a deep breath and then exhaled.
She tried again. “It was during my stay at
Saint Hope. I was still dealing with the
voices, trying to separate what was real from
what wasn’t, when he came to me.”

“Wait. What do you mean by separating real
from what wasn’t?”

“I don’t know…I…” She frowned. “I think
back then there weren’t so many voices.”

“You said you had to separate real from what
wasn’t,” he repeated. “What does that
mean?”

373/432

Sabrina clutched the robe tighter, almost
strangling herself with her death-hold.

Her gaze unfocused, roaming around the
room without stopping. “Back then, I think…

Jay, it was a long time ago.”

“Try to remember. Please.”

“There were only a few voices to deal with at
a time. And that was the confusing part, if I
remember correctly. It was hard to separate
the dead from the living because they would
insert themselves into a conversation as if
they were really there.” The more she spoke,
the faster she spoke, as if saying the words
out loud brought back her memories in a
flood. She stood and began to pace. “Yes,
that was the problem. Unlike now when
there are so many I can’t process all of it,
then, only one or two were enough to make
me talk out loud, have conversations with

374/432

people who weren’t there. You know, all the
things that’ll get you put in the nut house.”
The longer they discussed this, the more cer-
tain Jason became that he understood why
people smoked when they knew it would
eventually kill them or drank to excess,
knowing it damaged their livers. Right now
he would have killed for some out from this
mess. Something that would take him away,
if only for a little while, to regroup so that he
could tackle it all over again.

“All right. So what about this him-thing. Did
you do something or say something to get its
attention?”

“No…I don’t think so. I think…yes, he was
one of the voices. He came to me.” She
stopped pacing to look at him. “His voice was
different. Instead of looking for help from
me, he offered me help.”

Jason’s brow rose. “That would be enticing.”

375/432

She made a face. “Yeah. By then I would
have been at my wit’s end. Anything to get
out of the place. The Catch-22 about a psych
institute is that if you aren’t the one to check
yourself in, then they get to decide whether
you’re suitable to be released. I could still be
there now if…” Her voice trailed off.

“If?”

103

Dee Carney

Her gaze rose to meet his. “If He hadn’t
come.”

“Okay. So just to recap. At first you only
heard one or two voices that were hard to
distinguish from reality. Then he came,
offered his help. But then, something
changed.”

376/432

“Why do you say that?”

“Not me, you. You said that now the voices
are enough to make you lose yourself in that,
so to speak.”

“Well, I guess if you put it that way, yeah.
That all changed.” Jason’s stomach rumbled,
but he ignored it. He had a hunch now and
he damn well planned on chasing it all the
way down. “Did it change before or after you
met him?”

“What?”

He leaned forward. “Think, Sabrina. Did it
change before or after him?” Her mouth
twisted in an exaggerated yawn. “I’m ex-
hausted, sweetie. Can we do this later?”

“Answer this first, please. We’ll get some
food and some rest, but this might be
important.”

377/432

“I don’t remember. Really, I don’t. It was
near the same time. I just can’t tell you
whether it was right before or right after, but
it was around when I first met him.”

“All right. I’m going to get on the computer
and see what I can find out about things
like—

“Don’t you think I’ve done that?” she asked
resignedly. “I can probably recite the top ten
hits off Google from memory. Don’t forget,
I’ve been living this nightmare. Not just re-
searching it. Not writing a paper. Living it. I
know more than any so-called expert out
there could ever dream of knowing. I’m the
real deal.”

“There’s nothing out there that can help us?”

“Not that I’ve ever found. It’s all been trial
and error. If it’ll make you feel better, go
ahead, but right now I’m too hungry to think

378/432

straight. Maybe you’ll see something that I
never did. I doubt it, though.”

With a nod, he acknowledged her as she
stood. He rose to his feet also, his muscles
whining at the sudden change in position.

He heard her in the kitchen a few minutes
later. Opening and closing the fridge.

The soft shut of a drawer only moments af-
terward. It was well after four in the after-
noon and he’d starved the poor woman.

But he couldn’t shake the feeling that her
meeting with him-thing was important.

Until Jason had met Sabrina, his belief in the
supernatural didn’t go too much beyond ac-
knowledging an afterworld, heaven, maybe
hell, existed. The first day he’d met her
though, he’d started to wonder.

379/432

Now, having witnessed this thing use her, he
felt the remnants of their coupling on his
own body, everything he thought he knew
shattered. Another world existed, a 104

Intimate Whispers

world he was not privy to, but a place whose
inhabitants longed to get in touch with
Sabrina.

They wanted her help. Why?

Did her ability to speak with them draw
them to her like moths to a flame? Or did she
truly have some ability to help? Hell, even
Teddy sought her out once he’d been given
the right direction. Would they have ever
found Felice without Sabrina’s help?

Doubtful.

380/432

He couldn’t blame the voices then for trying
to get her to listen to them. If she offered
some salvation to those who’d departed the
earth prior to completing some important
task, then he sympathized. Oh, but God, the
cost.

A few weeks ago, he didn’t know Sabrina at
all. Just a few acknowledging glances in the
hallway. But he’d remember what she looked
like two months ago as if it was only yester-
day. The difference between then and now,
although subtle, was there. If he compared
her to a picture taken a few years ago, the
change in her from then, now that was night
and day. She’d lost weight, shadows emphas-
ized the features of her face.

Although an extremely attractive woman,
some of her vibrancy had diminished.

She may not have recognized it, but he had a
strong feeling that this thing worked against

381/432

her. It may seem like a savior, but in truth,
may be slowly draining her, if not outright
killing her as well.

Watching her walk back into the room with
two small bowls of peeled fruit made him
smile. She held one out shyly. “Here,” she
said softly.

No one had to tell him she was still testing
the waters. He wasn’t going anywhere
though. She hadn’t returned his declaration
of love, but he had a feeling, soon enough
she’d get there. His patience knew no
bounds.

They ate in silence, which helped him in the
end. He turned over what she’d said as he
slurped down the succulent grapefruit and
bit down on bright, juicy grapes.

382/432

With a grimace he realized they could get a
little more insight if he asked a favor from a
friend.

“What?”

He looked up. “I’m sorry?”

Sabrina’s mouth twitched. “You’re frowning.
Do you want something different?”

“No, this is fine.” As if to prove a point, he
picked up another forkful and bit into more
of the salad. Around bites, he said, “I’m
thinking about calling up Kelly and don’t
know how I should approach her.”

Suddenly, her plate demanded all of her at-
tention. The fork in her hand flipped over
pieces, none of them actually making it to
her mouth. Now it was his turn.

“What?”

383/432

“I didn’t say anything.”

He rested his fork on the bowl. “What are
you not saying?”

“It’s hypocritical.”

105

Dee Carney

For some reason, that struck him as amus-
ing. “What is?”

“I don’t like it when you call her.”

An odd mixture of pride and smugness
swelled in him. “Jealous?”

“Well, yeah.”

He started to laugh, but it fell away when she
didn’t join in. Sabrina’s mouth set into a firm
line, a slight tremor disturbing the rigidity.

384/432

Shit. “Baby, for starters, you have nothing to
be jealous over. My reason for contacting her
has nothing to do with replacing you. Ever.
She has access to your records, and I’m won-
dering if there’s something in there that
might help us out here.”

“I still don’t understand what you’re trying to
do.”

“I think you’ve not even considered the fact
that your friend is no friend at all. If I have to
live with it in our lives, I need to be one hun-
dred percent sure. No doubt whatsoever in
my mind.”

Her expression softened. “I can’t believe…
Why… You don’t have to…” He took her face
in his hands, studying those big beautiful
hazel eyes, the gentle roundness of her lips,
the softness of her cheeks. His mouth
pressed gently against hers, tasting the tang
of fruit still lingering. “You may think I have

385/432

a choice in the matter,” he shook his head,
“but I don’t. I can no more walk away from
you right now than I can stop breathing. Get
that through your mind. Okay?” Despite her
murmured acquiescence, confusion still
played in her eyes. That was fine. He had
plenty of time to prove to her he meant every
word he said.

The dishes put away, their appetite for food
sated for the time being, they both paced the
apartment, Sabrina in the bedroom while he
took the living room. Kelly had wanted noth-
ing to do with his request and cited about
two thousand very valid reasons why she
shouldn’t help him. Her final noncommittal
response of “we’ll see” might as well have
been a “hell, no”. The reverberating click
from when she disconnected still echoed in
his ear.

Fuck, he needed a plan B if she ended up de-
ciding her job meant a little bit more than an

386/432

ex-boyfriend and his new flame. In her posi-
tion, he wasn’t sure what he would have
done. On second thought, in her position, he
knew exactly what he would do.

They were hosed.

A soft beeping sound caught his attention, a
single burp of noise he barely registered. He
ignored it for the time being, working like
hell to figure out the riddle in Sabrina’s tale.
Something about what she told him niggled
the back of his mind, but for the life of him,
he couldn’t figure out why. Something, per-
haps to do with the timing of events?

The beep signaled again, and he grunted a
sound in response. He needed to think and
the stupid noise bugged him.

106

Intimate Whispers

387/432

When it beeped a third time, he almost
smacked himself on the forehead. Duh.

Damn cell phone. Because he didn’t hear it
ring, the repeating chimes meant voicemail
or text message maybe.

He glanced toward the bedroom where he
caught a glimpse of Sabrina’s robe fluttering
behind her. The simple Japanese design
suited her to a tee, and he had the sudden
disconnected thought that he wanted to see
her in one of those Asian-styled silk num-
bers. Chopsticks sticking out of her hair and
all. Maybe something so tight, her nipples
poked out of the material and reminded him
of what exactly waited for him when they got
home if he was a very, very good boy.

With a snort, he shook loose the image.
Focus.

388/432

He picked up his cellular, scrutinizing the
screen as he did so. That the Mission Im-
possible theme hadn’t chimed into the air
made him knot his brow. Although, he’d re-
ceived voicemails from the phone company
offering him deals, so maybe that’s what
made the stupid beeping now. But instead of
the new voicemail icon he expected, a letter
symbol sat on the display instead.

New text message.

“Sabrina!” Heart thumping, he hit the appro-
priate keys and opened it up. Long strides
brought him almost crashing into Sabrina,
who’d hurried in from the bedroom.

“Listen— ‘This is the best I’m willing to do’.”
When he paused, she nudged him. “Who?
What does it say?” He kept reading. “H and P
and DC summ. Whatever that means.” Sab-
rina shrugged, and her face didn’t register

389/432

any recognition of the shorthand, either.
“From Kel.”

Whatever she’d sent him was taking a little
time to download. Wanting to tap on the
screen to hurry it up, he watched the indicat-
or light for the download bar with shortening
patience. “Not say. Sent. This is a text mes-
sage, but it must be a pretty big file. It’s tak-
ing a minute to load.”

He felt her move closer, her hand resting
lightly on his arm as she leaned forward on
tiptoe to see the screen. Almost subcon-
sciously, he tilted the screen so she could see
its contents at the same time he did.

“History and physical…for Sabrina…Turner.”
Holy crap, she did it. His mouth lifted at the
corners. “Remind me to call her and say
thanks.” Sabrina made some rude noise that
didn’t quite indicate she’d remind him, but

390/432

didn’t offer the same jealousy from a little
while ago.

He kept reading the scanned document,
squinting at the fine display on the screen.

His gaze roamed over it quickly, trying to ab-
sorb the basic background of what brought
Sabrina to Saint Hope. Some info about her
background, her physical appearance, and
the piece de resistance, a history of her con-
tact with voices.

“Okay, according to this, you used to hear
only a few distinct voices. Is that right?” She
hesitated. “I really don’t remember that well.
It was a while ago.” 107

Dee Carney

“While their message did not appear
malevolent, or encourage you to harm your-
self,” he continued reading, “there was

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always a message of underlying desperation
from what you insisted were the voices of the
dead reaching out for help.” Her voice
dropped to just above a whisper. “That hasn’t
changed.”

“The plan is to monitor the patient for sui-
cidal ideation or intent, as well as introduce
chemical prophylaxis for the voices.” Sabrina
stayed silent. He watched her, looking for
any sign of distress or maybe some flash of
remembrance that brought the memories
from this time rushing back.

This hospitalization instigated the appear-
ance of the him-thing. Something had to
have happened during her stay that promp-
ted its appearance.

After a minute, she looked up at him. “Is that
all she sent?” Shaking his head, Jason
replied, “Uh, no. There’s this DC Summ I still
need to open, too.” He used his index finger

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to keep scrolling the document down until
the second, new one appeared.

“Discharge summary,” Sabrina read.

Jason’s breath caught as he continued to
scan past the header, almost preventing him
reading about this change in Sabrina aloud.
“After a combination of chemical prophylaxis
and psychotherapy, Sabrina no longer con-
tinually hears voices. The patient complains
of hearing more voices for a short, intense
time period before they disappear altogether.
This is a significant change from when she
first was admitted, and although not ideal,
this progress is encouraging. Patient is being
discharged to home, with the following med-
ications.” The subsequent medication-speak
he didn’t bother to read.

Most of the names didn’t mean anything to
him.

393/432

She backed away, nibbling on the side of her
thumbnail.

He kept studying her, wondering if maybe
she was having some of the same doubts and
questions he had. “That doesn’t seem odd to
you?” Her face looked more tired than he’d
ever seen her. She sat down on the couch,
tucking her feet beneath her. “What?”

“You said it exactly right. When you first
went there, a few voices, just like it says here.
But when you left, after you met him, the
voices were more intense. And there were
more. That’s the important part, I think,
Sabrina. More of them.” She laid her head
against the armrest, snuggling her body into
a semi-ball. “I don’t get it.”

“Hey—I know you’re tired. Stick with me a
little bit longer okay?”

394/432

“M’kay.” Her chin trembled as she stifled to
keep a yawn from being born.

“Sabrina, is it possible…just hear me out… Is
it possible that maybe this thing does more
than just drive the voices away? Is it possible
that somehow it causes more voices to come
to you?”

“That doesn’t make any sense to me.”

108

Intimate Whispers

“Mostly I’m thinking out loud, but maybe it’s
like a magnet for the voices, bringing them to
you first so that you give in. You let it take
what it wants so that it can eventually drive
them away. Only temporarily of course.” The
more he wondered aloud, the more the logic
starting to come together. His words rushed
out, the possibility of this all boggling his

395/432

mind. “Sabrina, in order for this to work, this
thing has to get something out of your rela-
tionship. More than just sex. I mean, that’s
probably just a great perk to the job, but it
needs more.” She looked a little less tired
and that made him hopeful that maybe she
didn’t listen to the ramblings of a madman,
or a desperate, jealous lover. But of a friend,
who had her best interests in mind. She lif-
ted her gaze to meet his. “I—I don’t
understand.”

“Baby, look in the mirror. Really look. After
you do that, go to the picture of you on the
mantel. Compare them. There’s something
wrong. You tell me if I’m mistaken, but you
don’t look the same to me. I don’t know, but
I’m wondering if maybe that thing’s draining
you.”

Her eyes widened, then narrowed. “Draining
me?

I…like,

a

psychic

vampire

or

something?”

396/432

“I don’t know. Maybe. Something like that.
But I can’t believe that anything with the
power to make itself physical, to leave be-
hind some residue of itself is satisfied with
your sexual relationship. It just feels too su-
perficial to me.” Horror swept through him
as he realized something else. “Earlier, when
you thought it had come back, you said

‘no’. You said it as if you expected it to stop.
Sweet Jesus, if you tell it to leave you alone,
will it?”

The tilt of her chin was almost imperceptible.
A barely there move that he might have
missed had he chosen just that moment to
blink.

But he saw it.

“Oh my God. You can tell it no?”

397/432

“And see? That’s why your theory doesn’t
make sense. I can send him away at any
time.”

Jason took three strides forward, and
grasped her shoulders. He pulled her to
standing and close enough to stare directly
into her eyes. “But would you, Sabrina?

Would you really send it away? Could you
send it away forever?” Suddenly, he realized
he

saw

small

puffs

of

smoke—condensation—coming

from

his

mouth and hers. Goose bumps broke out on
his skin. His lungs burned in his chest.

Air he drew in through his nose felt crisp.

Cold.

“What the fuck just happened to the temper-
ature in here?”

398/432

“Oh Jesus,” Sabrina moaned. “No…”

Her eyes darted to the side and she inclined
her head slightly. The movement drew her
right ear back and he recognized the body
language all too well. She listened to
something—or someone—behind her.

109

Dee Carney

“It’s here, isn’t it?” he demanded.

Tears welled in her eyes when she looked
forward and nodded.

“Sabrina, send it away if that’s all it takes.
End this now.” Jason had no idea what he
asked of her. How could she send Him away?
He took care of her. He’d been a part of her
life for so long, she didn’t know what the
world would be without Him in it. Jason, on

399/432

the other hand, had been there for a few
weeks.

What right did he have to tell her to send her
only lifeline away?

Above, the lights flickered. She snapped her
gaze up, cold fear climbing down her spine at
the same time.

I am here.

“Baby, trust me on this. The more I think
about it, the more I’m convinced I’m right.

You think this thing is helping you by keep-
ing the voices away. I think it’s actually
drawing them to you. It doesn’t come to you
when you need it. It comes when it needs
you.”

“But why?” Her voice sounded small and
childlike to her own ears. She wrapped her

400/432

arms around her chest, trying to conserve
heat in the frigid room. The temperature
must have dropped ten degrees or more in
the past thirty seconds.

“It needs you to feed from. You have this in-
credible gift to speak to the dead and one day
it realized you heard it. Imagine what it must
have been like for it. Trapped in some other
plane, unable to speak to most of us because
we’re not attuned to it the way you are. And
then one day, this bright light by the name of
Sabrina Turner turns her beauty toward it
and it’s so happy, Sabrina. It has someone
who can hear it. And better yet, feel it.”

You need me.

“Yes, maybe it can exist without you, but you
are so tempting. You feed this carnal appetite
it has, and it makes you feel good. You think
you’re alone in this world and this thing

401/432

comes along and feels like a friend. Like a
lover.”

“Jason—” She backed away from him. Too
close. There was no room to think.

She needed space. This was too much. Too
much.

The door slammed closed, and both she and
Jason spun to look for the phantom possess-
ing it. Of course, nothing was there.

“Is it here now?” His voice hardened, con-
densation escaping as puffs of white clouds.
“Good. Let it listen. Let it understand that
we’re on to it. It has no power over you.”

“My God,” she said, gasping for air. So cold.

“Underneath all of that you think it’s provid-
ing, it’s deceitful. You think it’s a symbiotic
relationship, when, baby, it’s nothing more

402/432

than a parasite. It’s feeding off you. Draining
you so very, very slowly dry. And you’re so
tired of fighting the voices and living this
hard life that you’re not noticing. You’re just
letting it because you’re 110

Intimate Whispers

tired.” He sounded sad and that made her
heart lurch. “It’s time to rest, Sabrina. It’s
time to let it go…”

“No—” she choked out. Jason couldn’t be
right. The voices would come back in full-
force if she lived a life without Him. He kept
them away.

The headboard began to rattle, the pictures
on the wall shimmying.

“Don’t let it win this. Send it away. Let me be
your strength.” I offer you freedom.

403/432

Her heart thundered as she listened. Jason
stood in front of her, his hand outstretched.
He was behind, whispering, encouraging her
to keep Him in her life.

A crack zigzagged down the mirror of her
vanity. A lightning bolt of terror.

“What happens if He goes away and I’m left
with nothing but the voices, Jason? I can’t go
back to Saint Hope. I wouldn’t survive it.”

“I know it’s a big step, baby. Take this
chance, send it away.” She couldn’t do this.
She no longer knew what life was like
without His touch. His protection.

“I promise you, Sabrina, no matter what, I
will not leave you alone with the voices.” You
need me.

Crushing power, a terrible weight dug into
her shoulders. Standing became impossible

404/432

and Sabrina dropped, one knee slamming
against the floor. A spike of pain stealing her
breath.

Still, she fought to retain a grasp on reality.
On her sanity. Looking up, she said,

“You can’t promise that. You don’t know
what it’s like.” Jason took one step forward.
Just one. The remaining distance hers to
claim. “I’m still the man who took you home
when the voices were too much for you to
bear. I’m the same man who came for you in
the ER. I’m the same man who loves you. No
matter what.”

A pain blossomed in her chest as the decision
weighed on her. What did she risk by send-
ing Him away? She’d make it maybe two
weeks before losing her mind. Jason had no
idea what that meant. None.

405/432

She screamed as bottles of perfume
shattered, one after the other. Wild-eyed, she
was caught between being unable to tear her
gaze away and hiding her face from shards of
glass flying across the room.

“Please don’t make me…please…”

“No! I’m not making you do this. This is your
decision. I will stand by you no matter what
you decide, but, baby, I need you to hear me.
I will not leave you alone. No matter what, I
will not leave you alone.”

A sob tore from her mouth, tears flowing
freely now. “You can’t guarantee me that.”

“I can. I swear to you, I can.”

111

Dee Carney

You. Need. Me.

406/432

“Sabrina, baby. Take my hand. Send it
away.”

Her entire body shook and she hugged her-
self tight. Through water-filled eyes, she
looked on the man who’d come to mean so
much to her.

Like he’d said, he was the man who’d res-
cued her every single time she’d needed him.

And maybe, just maybe, all she needed all of
this time, was to be rescued.

Slowly, like reaching into a fire, afraid of the
burn, she grasped Jason’s hand.

112

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407/432

Chapter Eight

“You doing okay?”

“Can you tell me why sitting behind a horse
that’s dropping stink bombs into a basket is
anyone’s idea of a good time?” Sabrina’s nose
wrinkled. She continued to grumble, “I don’t
care how romantic people say it is.” Jason
glanced at the aforementioned contraption
beneath the horse’s tail and grimaced. “Wo-
man, you have a way of putting things.” She
laughed.

Sometimes she made noise just to fill the air
with some type of noise. The first month had
been a test of their relationship, definitely of
Jason’s love, but he pulled her through it. As
he’d promised, he never left her alone to face
the voices by herself.

“You’re supposed to be enjoying the mood, if
nothing else. Totally relaxing,” he continued.

“I’d be more relaxed if I could feel my
freakin’ toes. It’s gotta be ten below out
here.”

He grinned. “Such a whiner! It’s only in the
twenties.” Still, Jason huddled closer be-
neath the blanket and that had been her goal
all along.

His ruddy nose looked as cold as she felt, so
she put a gloved hand on the end of it.

“Tell that to your nose,” she murmured, be-
fore tilting her face toward his.

The kiss he returned could have melted an
ice cube.

“Why are we out here again, when we could
be back at home, beneath a blanket that

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affords just a little more privacy than this?”
She waggled her eyebrows.

“Naughty girl.”

“Can you blame me? I know the kinds of
moves you’ve got going on. And despite the
frat-boy look you try so hard to perpetrate,
you’re a freak.” He laughed this time.

The worn blanket had a faint smell of animal
and old cologne—not hers or his—and the
horse stink wafted up from time to time.
Still, Sabrina sat back and watched the color-
ful display of lights around them. Pedestri-
ans on the sidewalks hurried from building
to building, coats pulled up around their ears
and collars turned up against the wind. She
wished her family was still alive, enjoying the
holiday season and its merriment with her,
but Jason did his best in keeping her spirits
elevated all by himself.

410/432

“Has it been finalized yet?” she asked, point-
ing with her numb chin toward a window
display. A mannequin family of four huddled
around a Christmas tree, the two children
with excitement in their eyes as they loomed
over presents.

113

Dee Carney

A storm crossed his features. Just a flicker,
but she saw it. “No. Reid and Mom don’t like
the idea of the two of us going over to
Felice’s for Christmas Eve, while they spend
the twenty-fifth with her and the baby. Gib-
son, the jackass, won’t agree to spending any
time with all of us.”

He had such a nice way of phrasing it. All of
us. Meaning, Gibson still had no intention of
spending any time with her and Jason. He

411/432

didn’t mind blacks, he’d said, so long as one
wasn’t dating his son.

Asshole.

Throat tight, she said, “Just go with them,
baby. You and I—”

“No.”

“But—”

“No.”

Was it any wonder where he got his stub-
bornness? One more try. “It’s a family
occasion.”

“You’re my family, too. Hell, you’re more my
family than he is.” Can anyone hear me?

Sabrina huddled closer to him, pushing away
the voice and narrowing her concentration

412/432

on what he said instead. She loved looking at
him. For that matter, she loved him.

“Don’t get me wrong,” he continued, “I
would move heaven or earth for Mom, Reid
or Theo. The same for Gibson. But he’s going
to learn that if he wants to be a part of my
life, he’s going to happily deal with of all of it.
I have no intention of giving up the most im-
portant person to me.”

She drew back in surprise. “Who…me?”

He dipped his head for a quick kiss. “Second
to that horse, yeah you.” His thumb stroked
over hers and she wished for a split second
that leather gloves didn’t separate their skin
from touching. “Don’t you know that yet?”

“I…I need to be reminded sometimes.” Her
head ducked because she couldn’t look at
him when he got like this. Words of affection

413/432

fell easily from his lips, as if his heart over-
flowed with emotion.

He said he loved her with a soft touch when
they both reached for the popcorn at the
same time. He said he cared when he
caressed her cheek while she lay in bed pre-
tending to be asleep, before he tried to
quietly sneak out the door in the mornings.

He promised he wouldn’t leave her when he
held on tight as she came shuddering within
his arms, his body ever so slowly pumping
into hers.

Every time she went to whisper to him that
she loved him as fiercely, with just as much
passion as he showed her almost daily, her
courage

faded.

She

wanted

to,

with

everything in her she felt the push to admit
how deeply she’d come to need him in her
life, but always, something held her back.

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114

Intimate Whispers

She’d tell him today. It would be easy. Deep
breath

and

just

tell

him.

“Jason,

sweetheart…”

Please help me.

The voice rushed into her consciousness,
pushing aside—again—her attempt.

Sabrina tried to stifle a shudder at the loud
intrusiveness of it, but didn’t catch herself
from starting in time to keep it from Jason.

He pulled her to him. “What’s it saying?” he
asked softly.

Squeezing her eyes shut, she breathed him
in, focusing on how to send the voice away.
Think about Jason. Think about her next

415/432

freelance project. Think about cuddly little
Theo and his mischief.

All the things her new mentor, Felix Stevens,
taught her to do. She’d almost thought the
trip to Cassadega, Florida—a self-proclaimed
spiritualist camp inhabited by mediums,
psychics and others possessing certain su-
pernatural gifts—had been a bust.

Then a stately gentleman wearing sandals
walked up to her. Despite the way she’d tried
to jerk it away, he picked up her hand and
held on to it as he spoke. “You’re an open
door, young lady and you’ll burn yourself out
if you don’t learn how to shut them out.

Every spirit looking for a voice will flock to
you, so you better learn how to control the
volume. May I be of assistance in that?”

After

four

months,

she

wasn’t

sure

everything he insisted she try to deflect those

416/432

trying to reach the other side through her
worked, but she had to grudgingly admit to a
little success.

With a shaky voice, she replied, “The same
thing they always say. I feel so bad that I
can’t help them. And it makes you wonder
what’s on the other side. What is so horrible
that they reach out for anyone they think
might be able to help?”

“But it’s not necessarily about wanting help
to stay away from the other side, baby.”

The horse continued its casual stroll through
the city. Lights, which had seemed so bright
before, became incapable of sustaining her
attention. Every facet of her concentration
stayed on her man. “I don’t know if I believe
that,” she said.

“Well, what about Teddy? He didn’t reach
out to you because he was afraid of being

417/432

dead or trying to stay away from heaven or
hell or whatever. He wanted your help in
making sure the rest of his family knew
about Felice and the baby. I mean, thanks to
you, Theo has a nice little bit of money set
aside for him. Everything that Teddy left be-
hind saved up and put away for Theo’s
future.”

“But what if he hadn’t found me? What if I’d
failed him?”

“Don’t do that. Don’t…for two years I
thought I’d failed him. I blamed myself for
my brother’s death because I’d made a
choice on his last day. I gotta tell you, baby,
every time I look at little Theo, I get angry. I
realize I wasn’t the one who failed.”

“Of course not. It’s what I tried to tell you the
very first time.” 115

Dee Carney

418/432

“You’re right. I just wish he’d chosen his
family, the one who already loved him and
the one just beginning, over himself. But he
didn’t. So don’t you ever think about being a
failure. You’re not. Who knows? And maybe
that’s why they try so hard. If you’re their
only help, why not go for broke and do
whatever it takes to make you listen?”

“I can’t help them all.” She reached for his
hand, finding comfort in the way it wrapped
around hers, squeezing tight.

“No, you can’t. You may not be able to help
another one for the rest of your life.

Not one. But neither is it your responsibility
to save anyone. If you can, great. If you
can’t”—he shrugged—“not your problem.”

Mr. Stevens insisted she talk about her fears
and her capabilities aloud. No holding them

419/432

back. No keeping them a secret from him or,
as much as she wanted to, Jason.

“I’m just afraid…”

Afraid the voices would gang up on her
again. Afraid she’d get so desperate for Him,
that she’d summon her one-time savior from
whatever void had taken Him. A few months
of quiet didn’t necessarily mean the voices
wouldn’t gather as a singular force, raining
down on her with a fast-and-furious
vengeance.

Sometimes at night she dreamed. In those
dreams they did come for her. They over-
whelmed her—voices crushing her on all
sides until she drowned beneath them.

Always in those dreams she called for Him.
Always, He came.

Always, she woke up screaming.

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“Sabrina, look at me.” Jason’s voice cracked
like a whip.

Startled, she looked at him, at the concern
etched across his face. At the command in
his eyes. The nights she awoke shivering and
crying, grappling for safety, Jason demanded
her focus on him. He was there for her after
every dream, holding her tight, calming her
rioting nerves.

Always.

She must have stopped listening. The
malevolent spirit’s seductive lure called to
her with the barest thought. “I’m s-sorry.”
Tears filled her eyes, a swell of self-pity stak-
ing claim. “Why do you put up with me?” she
whispered.

“Because I love you.” The reply never
changed, this time spoken with enough

421/432

confidence to almost drown out horse hooves
rhythmically beating against concrete.

“And I’m here for the long haul.”

Reaching for him and then snuggling into his
embrace was natural. Sabrina brushed her
lips over his chin, his jawline. He hummed a
soft noise as she bit down on the pulse jump-
ing beneath the skin of his neck. Her body
went tight at the noise, recognizing with an
instant response the beginning stages of
arousal in her man.

“Jay?” She raised her gaze to meet his.

“Yeah, baby?” Gravelly. Just shy of hoarse.

Breathing hard, she sought—and found—her
courage. “I love you, too.” 116

Intimate Whispers

422/432

While it felt as if the world would explode in-
to a billion pieces with that confession, it
didn’t. Instead, his lips tipped at the corners
into the most mesmerizing smile. “I would
have waited forever to hear you say that.”

“I shouldn’t have made you wait. I’ve known
it for a long time.”

“I know.”

She believed him. He knew her better than
she did more days than not. After a pause,
she asked, “How would you feel about cut-
ting this date short and heading back home?”
Placing her hand at the bulge in his crotch
added emphasis. There were many things
she wanted to do when they were alone to-
gether, first and foremost being showing him
exactly how much she loved him.

He chuckled. “Now who’s the freak?” The
bulge grew. Mercifully, at the same time the

423/432

carriage slowed to a crawl. He looked
around. “I think the tour is done anyway.

Good timing.”

Jason climbed down first and held out his
hand when she exited behind him.

Despite his support, her foot managed to
catch on a jutting lip. Pain rocketed through
her knee as she pitched forward, her purse
flung to the ground in the process. “Shit!”

“Whoa.” Jason’s unoccupied hand shot to
her waist, catching her before she could
tumble down the steps. With shaky legs, cer-
tain the throbbing knee would give way any
at any second, Sabrina managed to descend
the rest of the way. “You okay?” he asked,
breathless.

“Yeah.” Her heart hammered. “Graceful as
always.” After studying her, making sure she

424/432

could stand on her own, Jason reached for
the discarded purse and a few of the items
that had fallen from it. Gritting her teeth,
Sabrina crouched down next to him, reach-
ing for coins and receipts littering the damp
sidewalk.

“Here,” he said, handing over a few more pa-
pers. Pedestrians stepped around them,
heedless to the couple kneeling low to the
ground. “And this too.” Absently, she opened
her hand. He deposited the items he’d picked
up and her fingers curled into a fist. So-
mething managed to dig into the glove
enough to get her notice, drawing her atten-
tion. “What’s th—”

Her breath caught.

“I love you, Sabrina,” he said softly.

Heart leaping, she stared at the brilliantly
dazzling diamond ring. Dazed.

425/432

Surprised. Her thoughts scattering in forty
different directions at once. Tears blurred
her vision, but she looked up, managing to
see him through them. “Jay?”

“From the very beginning, I knew it was
you.”

A flitter of images raced through her
mind—their passings in the hallway as
strangers, the morning he’d brought her the
greasy egg sandwich, now one of their favor-
ites, his tenderness at caring for her after His
assault. Above all, she thought about his
promise.

117

Dee Carney

“I may not get better. I could get worse,” she
said through a tight throat. The ring weighed
heavily in her hand.

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“Then you’ll get worse with me by your side.”
His brown eyes glittered from the lights sur-
rounding them. “Marry me, Sabrina. Say
yes.” I can help you.

The voice of Him still plagued her from time
to time, His determination to bring her un-
der control again, unwavering. He waited pa-
tiently, and always Sabrina feared His pa-
tience would outlast Jason’s. Side by side,
though, she and Jason were formidable. It
was selfish to accept his proposal, wanting
him for no more than his ability to keep her
sane.

She amended her thought.

No. She hovered over the idea of saying yes
because she loved him with an intensity that
scared her sometimes. It was why she
couldn’t tell him before now. Still untrusting
of herself, afraid to shatter the good turn her

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life had finally taken, she didn’t want to jinx
any of it.

“What about your father?” Doubt still
wormed its way into her mind from time to
time. She figured that would never change.

He shot her a bland look. “Do you really have
to ask?” Sabrina laughed.

For the first time since she’d encountered
Him, she wished He were corporeal.

Without a doubt, He would continue to try to
resume His role in her life. Now, she wished
she could look Him in the eye, to stare Him
down as she told Him in no uncertain times
that He had no place there.

So instead, she lifted her hand to Jason’s
face, stroking along the beautiful cleft in his
chin with her gloved hand. She opened her
heart to the universe, allowing everyone and

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anything capable of feeling her joy experi-
ence a taste.

A smile curving her lips, Sabrina said, “Yes,
I’ll marry you.” Jason leaned forward and
pressed his mouth to hers and in that mo-
ment, Sabrina forgot about everything except
his kiss.

The End

118

About the Author

Dee Carney began writing short stories in
middle school, but did not attempt comple-
tion of a novel until almost ten years later,
which, despite good intentions, she never
finished. Almost ten additional years later,
she challenged herself to begin writing again,
and her love for storytelling was rekindled.
Now Dee is a best-selling, award-winning

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author who lives in Georgia with her hus-
band, two dogs and a cat.

When not writing, Dee is usually curled up
on the couch with a good book!

Dee welcomes comments from readers. You
can find her website and email address on
her

author bio page

at

www.ellorascave.com.

Tell Us What You Think

We appreciate hearing reader opinions about
our books. You can email us at

[e-mail].

Also by

Dee Carney

All Aboard

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Discover for yourself why readers can’t get
enough of the multiple award-winning pub-
lisher Ellora’s Cave. Whether you prefer
ebooks or paperbacks, be sure to visit EC

on the web at www.ellorascave.com for an
erotic reading experience that will leave you
breathless.

www.ellorascave.com

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