A Very Nice Girl

by Nashstheory

Summary:

Too Much of A Good Thing's full story. What would you do if your exfiancee sent you a naughty book?

Would you keep it? Would you throw it away? Would you use it to have an affair with one of your married clients? If

you're Bella Swan you've done all 3.

Chapter One

This was the last place I expected my life to end up. I was 28, mildly successful in my job as an editor for
one of the world's largest firms – even with the slight tumble my boss had caused by professing his love for
me in the quarterly status meeting – and I had the world's most supportive friends. Hell, I had even

managed to pay off my student loans early so besides my lease I was essentially debt free. I was the girl that
mothers dreamed about their sons bringing home to them.

So how the fuck did I end up here? And by here I mean sitting in my empty bathtub, hugging my knees,
with Edward Cullen – the world's most famous and tempermental science fiction author – throwing up in
my toilet? More importantly, how was it exactly that I ended up pregnant by the client I most loved to hate;
one I routinely fantasized about throwing out my office window? And besides, I was the one who was
pregnant. Wasn't throwing up my job?

"How did this happen?" Edward muttered in between retches.

"Well," I glared at him and hugged my knees tighter to my chest, "you see one of the many times you
decided to stick your cock inside me and do your own X rated version of the hokey pokey, one of your
sperm managed to be a tempermental and stubborn bastard and swam himself upstream where he spotted
my nice, pure, happily minding it's own business egg and then attacked it like only something that came
from you could – entirely mindlessly."

"I knew that," Edward groaned as he finally pulled away from the toilet and pivoted so he sat with his

back resting against my sink. His eyes were red rimmed and his wild auburn hair was even more disheveled
than usual. "I just meant that we were careful. You're on the Pill and we used a –"

"Apparently your sperm decided to beat the statistics and impregnate me anyway. I wonder where they got
that level of determination from?"

Edward blushed slightly and the red in his cheeks made the rest of him look even paler. He looked over at
me and then raised his arm, almost reaching for my hand before he decided against it and wrapped his
arms around his knees instead, mimicking my posture. "When?"

"One of the 97 times we've had sex?"

"98," Edward corrected.

"Shut up."

"You don't know how far along you are?"

"No," I shook my head and stared at my feet instead of looking at him. "I've been feeling off for the past
few weeks and thought I had the stomach flu. Then I was late and that's when I bought the test. You
showed up just after I got the results."

"Why didn't you tell me this afternoon? Why not tell me then you thought you were pregnant?" Edward
asked quietly, twisting his long, graceful fingers together nervously.

"When?"

"At your office."

"And when would have been a good time to bring that up?" I glared at him. "During the meeting with my
new boss and your agent? Yeah, then we can explain the affair we've been having. I'm sure that would
have gone over really well – especially since you're still married! And you share an agent with your wife!"

"It's not like that and you know it!" Edward shot me an angry glance and then focused his attention back
on his fingers. "You know Tanya and I are only together because of her career. How would it look to
people if –"

"And how is this going to look Edward?" I let my head drop back to rest against the wall behind my tub.
"How – exactly – is impregnating your editor going to help your wife – Mrs. Happiness-Is-Embracing-

Your-Inner-Domesticity – and her publishing career? How do you think her book signings are going to go
when people get wind of this?"

"I don't know. That's not what I'm concerned about right now. Have you seen a doctor yet?"

"Like I said, you showed up right after I peed on the stick. I haven't done anything besides sit here and
watch you throw up since."

"Home pregnancy tests can be wrong," Edward said nervously. "It could be a false positive."

"It could," I nodded my head in agreement and curled my arms tighter around my waist. It didn't matter
what Edward said, I had known before I even bought the test that I was pregnant. I had known the minute

my period was late what had happened and no matter how much denial he heaped on the situation it
wouldn't change what I knew was true -- I was pregnant with Edward's baby.

"You should see a doctor," Edward said finally. "Even if the test wasn't wrong you need to see a doctor
and find out how far along you are. Once we have a clearer idea of what's going on we can start discussing
options. We'll go see a doctor and then we'll get this taken care of."

Get this taken care of? I lifted my head and glared at him angrily. I shouldn't have expected any better
from him really. What had I thought? That he was going to be something other than the self centered,
conceited horse's ass that I was forced to work with because he'd run off every other editor in our
publishing house? That he would be the Edward that had sweet talked his way into my bed and my heart
with all the little endearing habits he had that no one else ever got to see? The man who made me pancakes

in different shapes and made me lunches cut into various shapes so that he could send me secret messages?
Obviously that Edward had all been an act.

"Get out," I said quietly.

"What?"

"I said get out. Get the Hell out of my apartment!"

"Bella," he looked at me pleadingly. "Please we need to talk about this."

"Get out!" I screamed and pointed toward the open bathroom door. "Get out of my bathroom! Get out of
my apartment and get the fuck out of my life!"

"Bella –"

"Get out Edward," I cried out again and pulled my cell phone out of my jeans pocket. "Get out or I'll call
the cops and have them drag you out! How do you think that will go for either your's or Tanya's precious
careers?"

"Fine," Edward said quietly and stood up. He walked out of the bathroom and I heard his footsteps on
the hardwood floor of my living room and then I heard them get closer again.

"I have just one more thing to say and you're going to listen to me," he insisted angrily.

"I don't want to hear it Edward," I sighed and let my head drop back against the wall again. "I just don't
need to hear about how this is affecting you and your precious career right now."

"I love you," he said quietly and then I heard his feet on the floor, walking away from me, before the door
opened and closed quietly, pushing Edward Cullen out of mine and our child's life forever.

How could I have ever been stupid enough to get into a relationship with Edward Cullen? What had
possessed me to fall in love with an egotistical jerk? A married, egotistical jerk?

It was his fault; him and his stupid ideas. That wasn't true, he'd have never come up with the idea behind
our affair if it wouldn't have been for and their damn internet bookstore that made it easy for Jacob to
send me "the encyclopedia" so that he could try to make me feel worse about our broken engagement.

It was my fault. If I'd just been more willing to experiment, more comfortable with my own body, then
Jacob would have never had to go somewhere else for sex and our relationship wouldn't have fallen apart.
If I would have stood up to Mike earlier he'd have never made his stupid announcement and I'd never
have been transferred from Young Adult literature and into Science Fiction and Edward Cullen would

have gone to some other editor. If I would have blown off his appointment that afternoon to discuss the
grammar mistakes in his manuscript that he adamantly refused to fix then he'd have never seen the book.

I pushed myself out of the bathroom and stumbled into my bedroom. There on the top of my left
nightstand – Edward's nightstand – sat The Nice Girl's Encyclopedia of Naughty Sex, henceforth known as
the damn book that destroyed my life.

~*~

Chapter Two

Six Months Earlier

"Bella?" Rosalie Hale, the office manager for high profile publishing at Eleazear and Alistair Publishing
LLC, knocked on the open door of my tiny office and I spun around to look at her. "You've got a
package."

"A package? Who from?"

"Probably the ARC's on Tatum's newest for you to do a second glance on," she said and then sat the
brown box on my desk.

"No, there's no way the publishing department got the Tatum novel bound and back to me this quick –
they've only had it a few days. This says Amazon. Who would have sent me something from Amazon – they
only deal in published stuff."

"Well, open it." She rolled her eyes and then, when I didn't move, grabbed the package herself and tore it
open. Turning the box over quickly, Rose dumped a very large hardback book onto my desk with a
resounding thud.

"What the Hell?" I gasped as I focused on the book's cover art – the side profile of a naked woman on her

knees in front of an equally naked man trying valiantly to suck on what appeared to be his very large, erect
cock.

"Whoa--" Rosalie's eyes widened. "Where can I order him at?"

"Rose!"

"What? He's gorgeous." She picked up the book and flipped it open to the front material. "Oh look, it's
one of our titles! I'll have to call Alice down in adult publishing and see if she's got the name of the model
they used. Maybe I can arrange to have him booked for something else up here in HPP?"

"Like what?" I asked as I looked at the pile of paper that had fallen out of the box along with the gigantic
book of porn she was now perusing.

"I don't know. What's Kate Tatum's newest novel about?"

"A young woman coming to terms with her mother's death from cervical cancer as she becomes a mother
herself. It's a very poignant version of an early thirty-somethings coming of age in the postmodern world."

"Is that the official blurb?"

"No, it's from her pitch letter."

"Eh." Rosalie curled up her nose. "Not something that really needs a gorgeous naked man on its cover,
does it? What about Cullen's new one you're working on? Most of his stuff is barely concealed space
porn."

"You'll be waiting a while." I shook my head and then sighed as I thought about the most difficult of my
current stable of writers. "Every single comma change is a fight with him. I need three grammar books
supporting my point and an act of Congress to get him to even consider a revision."

"Besides that? What do you think the chances are of getting this guy on Cullen's cover?"

"Depends, how does he feel about being naked in green body paint and antennas?"

"Really?" Rosalie's eyes lit up. "I don't know about him but I'm feeling a little tingly in the lady parts at
the thought of it. You don't mind if I borrow this, do you? I mean, just for purely work related reasons."

"Keep it." I pursed my lips together as I read the gift card that came with the book. "Jake."

"He didn't--" Rosalie slammed the book down hard on my desk. "That bastard!"

I held up the card for her. "Dear Bella, Maybe we can use this to work through your issues. It should make
for a fun time on the honeymoon. Love, Jake. What the fuck? He doesn't actually think that after what you
saw last week you're still getting married, does he?"

"Um --" I hesitated and focused on the manuscript currently up on my computer screen.

"You did break it off with him, didn't you?" Rosalie glared at me. "You caught him fucking your maid-
of-honor two months before the wedding!"

"He said that I misunderstood what was happening and that Leah was chasing after him. What should I
have expected after all? He's a man with more needs than I was willing to meet."

"Bull shit," Rosalie said and then sat down in the seat across from my desk with a huff. "He's a lying,
cheating bastard and he's just trying to get out of taking responsibility for his own actions."

"He's angry," I said and gave up pretending that I was actually editing and looked at her. "I refused to
get together with him and talk about reconciling. Plus, I actually cancelled the church and the reception
hall."

"You did?"

"We're not ready to get married." I shrugged. "Maybe after we work things out –"

"Bella --" Rosalie looked at me exasperatedly. "There's nothing to work out. He's a bastard and you
should let me cut his dick off. I promise you, I'll make it very, very painful."

"Hey now --" The author I most loved to hate pushed the door to my office wide open. "That's no way to
talk about me. Just two minutes ago it was how the idea of me painted green with antennas had you all
tingly in the girl parts. Why the sudden change? And by the way Swan, if you'd been reading my
manuscript as carefully as you should, you'd know that my aliens are silver not green, and they don't have
antennas on their heads – they have fingers that work as telepathic probes."

"Whatever Cullen." Rosalie turned around to glare at him. "Why are you here anyway? Shouldn't you be
out tormenting puppies and kitties and torturing anthills with your magnifying glass?"

"Hah hah --" He rolled his eyes. "I have a meeting with Ms. Swan. What's this?" He reached for the book

she was holding and flipped it open. "My, my, my, now I know what you're editing beside me. I can't
complain about not being center of your world anymore. Very nice Ms. Swan – did Mike Newton hook you
up?"

"Shut up Mr. Cullen."

"Dr. Cullen."

"Right, Dr. Cullen. For your information, I no longer have any contact with Mr. Newton since his

unfortunate, and completely unrequited, outburst of affection at the Senior Editors meeting last quarter.
Garrett Walker, our senior managing partner, decided it was best for everyone if he remained over in
Young Adult literature and I took the promotion to being your own personal babysitter and dogs-body.
Now, if you're ready to begin discussing your revisions –"

"So you picked up this little beauty all on your own?" His eyes twinkled and I knew the bastard had heard
every word. "Very kinky."

"Edward," Rosalie said angrily as he plopped down in the chair next to hers.

"No, I did not. It was a badly thought out and rather cruel joke from my ex-fiancée if you must know.
Now, if you'll excuse me, Dr. Cullen, I don't think I have the time to give your manuscript, or you, the
rather demanding amount of attention that both of you require. If you'll excuse me, I'll make arrangements
with Eric to have you transferred to another editor."

"What?" Edward looked at me wide eyed and then dropped the book back onto my desk. "You're
dumping me?"

"I'm not dumping you, Dr. Cullen. This is entirely a professional matter."

"Professional, huh? How do you figure?"

"My personal desire to throttle you and then throw your scrawny body from the top of our building is
preventing me from editing your novel in the most professional manner possible."

"That's –"

"Something I can't discuss with you anymore, Dr. Cullen. If you'd like to take it up with Eric, I know he's
in the office today. I'm sure Rosalie can make you an appointment. Can't you Rose?"

"Sure." She smiled brightly at me and then at him and I had to wonder what she was up to. "Right this
way Dr. Cullen."
"Bella --" He looked between us as she stood up and motioned for him to do the same. "You really need to
get a sense of humor."

"I'll keep that in mind," I said and then glared at him before turning back to my computer. An hour later,
I glanced up from my computer at the sound of raised voices coming from between the wall that Eric

Yorkie, our Senior Department Manager, and I shared. There was the sound of the door slamming and
then I watched as Dr. Edward Cullen, New York Times Bestselling Author and winner of two Nebula Prizes
stormed out of our offices. I had no idea why losing me as an editor bothered him so much – we'd only
been working together for the past two months and only on this manuscript. He'd been a charity gift from
Eric to make me feel welcome since I'd lost my own stable of good writers in the forced move between
departments. Surely every other editor in our department would be glad to take him on?

A moment later I was back to work on my manuscript and didn't think anymore about Edward, Jake, or
the Nice Girls Guide to Naughty Sex that was currently sitting on my desk like an X-rated paperweight until

my alarm went off, letting me know it was time to call it a day. The joys of being a nonexempt employee –
no matter where I was in a page, when my 8 hours were up, I saved and left.

Grabbing my messenger bag, I looked at the book Jake had sent me. I really didn't want to take it home.
Maybe I could send it back and get a refund? Probably, but it was too late in the day to do now. Sending
it back would have to wait until tomorrow and between now and then, I couldn't bear the thought of
someone coming into my office and actually seeing the thing. Besides, maybe there was something in there I
could do to ensure that once Jake and I had worked through our rough patch, it would guarantee me he
wouldn't stray again – even if my step-sister Leah threw herself at him. Blushing, I shoved it into my bag
and hurriedly zipped it closed. There was no way I wanted anyone to actually see me with it!

I felt the weight of the book against my side the entire ride to the lobby. I was sure everyone else in the

packed elevator knew that I was carrying a book of sex positions in my bag. Once the doors open, I tried
my best to rush out of the elevator without looking like a total lunatic. Swiping my badge across the
entrance gates, I hurried out of the lobby and into the busy street.

"Bella!" I froze as I heard my former fiancée's husky voice. Turning around slowly, I looked at Jake
standing in a rumpled suit.

"What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to see you." He smiled flirtatiously. "It seems like you've been avoiding me after our little
misunderstanding. Did you get the present I sent you?"

"Um, yeah Jake." I nodded awkwardly and then glanced around. Why couldn't I get lucky for once and
have either Rosalie or Alice leaving right behind me. On the days they wanted to go shopping or out for a
drink, they were right there when I got off work. The day Jake shows up and puts me on the spot? They're
nowhere to be found. Isn't that just my life?

"I thought it might be something that interested you." He leered at me slightly.

"Oh it does," Edward Cullen said right before I felt two arms wrap around me from behind. "I guess I
should say thank you. I mean, she called me from work when it arrived and it was all I could do to
convince her not to come home early so we could start going through it."

"Who the fuck are you?" Jake's eyes went wide and his face flushed bright red with anger.

"Who am I?" Edward asked insolently before I could even manage to utter a sound, and then stuck out
one of his hands for Jake to shake. "I'm Bella's new boyfriend. You know, the guy who isn't going to be a
first class prick to her and will actually treat her like the goddess she is? And you must be Jake – the idiot
who let this amazing woman go."

"What the Hell Bella? I make one little mistake and off you run like some slut to the nearest smooth talking

dirt bag? And what the hell is he talking about 'you couldn't wait to get home'? What? You're suddenly in
to sex now? I spent five years having to literally beg to get off with you and you're just giving it up to this
loser at the drop of a hat? Thanks a fucking lot, Bella. It's good to know where I stand."

He glanced up at Edward and then sneered. "Good luck with her buddy. Give her time and she'll be
carrying your balls around in her purse and don't expect her to let you have them out to cum with until
you've jumped through a dozen hoops and literally begged for it. Then it's lights off and missionary for
you."

"I think we'll be fine, thanks," Edward said and then pulled me further away from Jake. "Thanks for the
book, but we'll be on our way."

"What are you –"I stammered as he pulled me quickly away from Jake. He didn't stop until we were two
streets down and in front of a local neighborhood pub. He glanced around and then opened the door,
pulling me in behind him.

"This'll do."

"What the hell were you thinking?"

"That guy is a complete bastard and he doesn't deserve you," Edward said and then motioned to the
barmaid. "Two beers."

"I don't want to drink with you."

"You're going to when you hear what I heard."

"What did you hear?"

"My guess is that the girl he cheated on you with was named Leah?"

"Yeah." I felt my stomach drop. "How did you know that?"

"Because he was on the phone with her while he was waiting for you to come out. Apparently he was going
to get things squared away since it's caused so many difficulties. He assured her that once the two of you
had reconciled they could take back up right where they'd left off but from now on they'd need to be more
discreet."

"That son of a bitch!" I took a big gulp of my beer and then sputtered as it foamed out of the bottleneck.
"Thank you for saving me from making a huge mistake then. Wait – what were you doing there anyway?"

"I was waiting for you."

"Why?"

"I want you to take me back."

"You're joking, aren't you?"

"No."

"Why?"

"Why not?"

"Because we hate each other and you're an ass."

"Speaking of asses, you have a smashing one and your rack is delectable as well. I could seriously spend
hours buried in either of them. I promise not to let that distract me though. So what's a little dislike on
your part? I'm making a much bigger concession every time I don't bend you over your desk."

"Dr. Cullen!"

"Oh please, we're out of the office, I've heard all the gory details of your sex life from your jerk of an ex-
fiancée and to make you feel more comfortable, I've shared way too much about my sexual fantasies in
relation to you. You can call me Edward and I'll call you Bella. Deal?"

"I can't believe you!"

"I know, I'm gorgeous. It's a curse but I'm working with it as much as I can."

"I'm leaving."

"Oh don't be such a prude." Edward grabbed my hand and kept me sitting at the table. "I'm teasing."

"I'm not a prude!"

"Touchy," Edward said with a whistle. "I'm being serious though. Take me back."

"Why?"

"Because I saved you from making a serious mistake?"

"No, why do you want me to be your editor so badly?"

"You're good. In fact, you're the best I've ever seen. I know Mary Ellis and she was devastated when she
thought you were going to leave Eleazar and Alistair. She was seriously trying to figure out how to get out
of her publishing contract."

"Really?" I smiled. Mary and I had both started out together. Her first manuscript was my first solo
editing project and we'd always worked well together.

"That was all I needed to hear to go to bat to get you moved to HPP. Meanwhile, she demanded to be
moved as well – not like she doesn't deserve it with the way her books are selling – 100 million copies of this
last book wasn't it?"

"152 million. Wait? You arranged for me to be moved to HPP?"

"No, it was me and Mary combined. Plus we reached out to a few other authors in HPP and we all went to
bat to get you."

"So I should be grateful to you?"

"No, yes, well maybe a little. It depends – will you take me back?"

"Why is it such a big deal to you? I mean, every other editor in the department would love to have you.
You could probably get Eric Yorkie to edit if it's that big of a deal."

"I've ran through all the other editors," he said quietly. "No one else will put up with me. According to
Eric, if you dump me, then I have to go down and deal with the editors in Science Fiction."

"He's punishing you?" I giggled. "Eric is threatening to banish you back down with all the other working
hacks? That's priceless!"

"So you have to take me back."

"No."

"Why?"

"Why should I?"

"Because I need you, and I saved you from making a horrible mistake."

"You're an ass."

"I'll be nice." He raised an eyebrow when I narrowed my eyes. "And I'll help you work through that
book."

"What? Who says I want to work through that book with you? With anyone for that matter?"

"The fact that it's in your bag is what makes me think you want to work through it."

"How did you know it was in my bag?"

"I didn't." Edward smirked. "But I do now. And your blush tells me I'm right."

"That doesn't mean I should go through it with you!"

"But you want to."

"I do not."

"Then why didn't you contradict me in front of Jake?"

"You didn't give me a chance. Besides, there is no way we could –" I motioned between the two of us. "We
hate each other!"

"That's more of an incentive in my mind." Edward shrugged. "We get to have all kinds of hot, nasty, hate

sex. Plus there are no worries about one of us falling in love and complicating it all with feelings. It's just
sex. Besides, think of it as a way to bond author to editor."

"That's a good point," I said. "We work together, it would be totally unprofessional."

"Only if someone found out," Edward countered. "Meanwhile, I'll be too blissed out from all the orgasms
to fight you on how you edit my grammar."

"If we would get caught –" I couldn't believe I was actually considering having an affair with Edward

Cullen. He was handsome. Okay, that was a lie. Edward Cullen was the most fuck-hot man I had ever seen
with his rumpled, bronze, sex hair and those broody, green, bedroom eyes, which he constantly used to take
advantage of women with. Where Jake was broad and muscle-bound, Edward was lankier. It was like
comparing a defensive lineman – which Jake had been in college – with a swimmer. Physically, he was
definitely appealing.

"We won't."

"I'm not considering this."

"Of course not," he said. "You decided the moment he accused you of being frigid that you were going to
find someone and work through this book just to get back at him. I'm just the best alternative out of the
lot."

"It's –" I stuttered. He was right. A very large part of me did want to prove that I wasn't some frigid, ball-
busting bitch. It wasn't my fault I didn't enjoy sex with Jake – well sex at all since he was the only person
I'd ever been with. The problem was that Jake had never made sex feel anything but dirty.

"Think of it as revenge. Really great, evil revenge."

"Any why should I trust you?"

"First, I'm an ass, not a monster, so I'd never hurt you. No matter what you might believe, I actually do
like women, Bella -- all women. I'm really quite a big fan."

"I'm sure you are."

"Yes, I am," Edward said. "And not just in the way you're thinking. I really do like women – I like how
you think. It's so much more complex than most men. And I actually do like you, besides the fact that
you're a woman."

"Right."

"No seriously, that's why I rile you up so much. If we were 20 years younger, I'd be pulling your ponytail
and throwing rocks at you on the playground."

"You're saying that you drive me up the wall because you have a crush on me?"

"That and I've always been the asshole who just can't keep my damn mouth shut, according to my
mother."

"Great." I nodded and took another sip of beer. "But that doesn't mean we should have an affair. I don't
know anything at all about you --I don't even know your middle name."

"Anthony. My name is Edward Anthony Cullen. My parents are Carlisle and Esme Cullen. He's a doctor,
she's an interior decorator. I went to college to be a doctor but found out very quickly that I fainted at the
sight of blood. I was good at chemistry, so I majored in it and got a PhD instead. I started writing during
grad school as a stress reliever. My first book was rejected 20 times before Garrett took a chance on it."

"It was number one on the bestseller list and you won a Nebula award."

"I play piano in my free time, I'm a Cubs fan, and my favorite food is chocolate silk pie. I'm also disease
free and willing to take a blood test to prove it."

"I wasn't suggesting –"

"You should have. You're a smart girl and that's something that should bother you. What about you?"

"I got tested right after I caught Jake cheating on me." I said. It had been the most humiliating afternoon
of my life and I hated to remember it.

"Smart girl. What about other stuff?"

"Other stuff? Oh I'm on the Pill. But that doesn't mean I'm agreeing to this. You could be just another
jerk –"

"I think we should have an agreement," Edward said without even listening to my objections.

"An agreement?"

"Nobody else."

"What do you mean?"

"If we do this --" Edward motioned between us and pursed his lips. "There's nobody else while we're
together."

"You want to be monogamous?"

"That's how I am," Edward said. "If I'm with someone, I'm with them and not with anyone else. What
can I say? My dick is like a dog – it only knows one master at a time. Is that a problem?"

"No, God no. I just didn't expect you to be into the whole monogamy thing."

"So are we on?"

"Um."

"Come on Bella," Edward said. "What are you afraid of?"

"I'm not afraid of anything."

"Then what's holding you back?"

"Nothing's holding me back. Let's go."

"Fine --" Edward smirked. "Let's go." He threw some bills on the table and then put his hand on my back
to lead me out of the bar. "My car's in the garage next to your publishing house."

I let him guide me to the garage and then to his Volvo. "Where's your car parked?"

"I walk to work."

"So you live close then?"

"Turn left at Delancey Street and my apartment building is on the corner of Delancey and Whitcomb."

Edward nodded silently and then followed my directions until we were parked outside my apartment
building. "Do you want to come up?"

"Not tonight," Edward said. "I think we both need a night to make sure we don't want to back out on
this."

"Do you think you might? Want to back out, I mean?"

"Nope." Edward reached out and ran his hand down my cheek. "But I want to give you the chance to
think it over."

"Oh, so when do you want to –"

"Let's go to dinner tomorrow night." Edward's voice was husky as he leaned forward and then kissed me
softly. "We'll have dinner, a few drinks, and then we'll come back here. What do you say?"

"That sounds --" I stopped as he kissed me chastely on the lips again. "That sounds wonderful."

"I'll pick you up at seven?"

"Okay." I nodded quickly and then opened my car door and slipped out. Once I was inside the building,
I watched him pull away before I made my way upstairs and into my apartment building.

Leaning against my closed apartment door, I stared warily at my messenger bag. What exactly was I doing?
I was planning on having a relationship, a fling, with Edward Cullen? What exactly was I trying to
prove? It didn't matter. I knew in my heart of hearts there was no way I was backing out now.

~*~

Chapter Three

"I can't do this," I said as I looked at my wide-eyed expression in the bathroom mirror. I'd taken a half
day at work to get ready for tonight, taken a bubble bath, shaved every bit of body hair off, exfoliated,
body buttered, manicured, pedicured, covered my face in green mud and put tea bags on my eyes, laid out
three different outfits and seven different underwear sets, and now I was standing in my bathroom in
nothing but a robe and large pink hot rollers in full panic mode. "What was I thinking? I can't do this."

The phone rang and I slumped out of the bathroom dejectedly to answer it. Maybe it was Edward calling

to say he'd thought again and decided that what we were planning to do was foolish? But why was I
disappointed about that? Hadn't I just thought it was foolish?

"Bella?" Alice Brandon said and I could hear the chipper coming off her in waves. "Rosalie said you had
a date tonight? Tell me everything! Who is it? Where are you going?"

"It's nobody you know, Alice," I lied. "Just a guy I met at the bookstore."

"What do you have planned though? I mean, it's a first date. You can tell a lot by what a guy plans for a
first date."

"Just dinner. He said something about a modern art exhibit or maybe going for a drink but we've left it
open ended. I'm starting to have second thoughts though."

"Don't you dare, Isabella Marie Swan!" Alice said. "You swallow all those nerves and go out with this
man, whoever he is."

"But maybe I'm not ready?"

"You're ready; it's just the fear of the unknown that's eating at you. Jacob did a number on your head
and you need to try your best to get past it."

"So I should throw myself into a new relationship?" I asked.

"No." I could almost hear Alice's eyes roll over the phone line. "But that doesn't mean you can't go out
and have a lovely dinner with a nice man. You don't have to marry him next week; there's no commitments
in a first date. It's not like you intend to sleep with him or anything."

"No," I lied again and bit my lower lip.

"So what are you wearing?" Alice tried to make her voice sound slightly creepy, like one of the perverts that
were a staple of television crime dramas.

"My pink flannel penguin robe," I retorted. "I have no idea what to wear. I've been through my closet a
dozen times and nothing seems right!"

"You're going to dinner?"

"Yes."

"The black jersey-wrap dress, black kitten heels, and the pearls your mother and Phil got you for
graduation. Then go all out on the lingerie even though he won't see it."

"Really?"

"Power panties will get you over any case of nerves," Alice said. "Go with the black lace set – the boy
shorts and the balconnette bra."

"You're sure?"

"You'll look like a million bucks," Alice said. "Then just do really basic hair and makeup. You want to
look classy, not trashy since it's a first date. Don't let him get the wrong idea."

"Right," I said. The wrong idea, what exactly was the wrong idea with this date? I had every intention of
bringing Edward Cullen home with me after dinner and asking him to help me work through an
encyclopedia of porn. An encyclopedia of porn I'd been too shy to even open the front cover of. "But I
should hang up so I can finish getting ready."

"Good luck tonight! Call me tomorrow and let me know how it went," Alice said and then hung up before
I could respond.

Hurrying into the bedroom, I quickly rehung the outfit I had laid out and grabbed the one Alice had
suggested instead. How could I have not realized how perfect it would look? Slipping into the bra and

panty set, I hurriedly found my pearls and the heels she'd suggested before rushing back into the
bathroom and finishing my hair and makeup. Once back in the bedroom, I slipped into my dress and then
looked at the clock – I had twenty minutes before Edward was scheduled to arrive. If I was going to look at
the book before he got here, I would have to do it now.

The number one hang up for nice girls is that they've been taught that orgasms are something they shouldn't
want, or even worse that they don't deserve. This is something the naughty girl knows better about, not only
do they deserve to orgasm, they should orgasm – every single sexual encounter. It's a girl's responsibility to
herself to make sure her partner brings her to orgasm. It's her responsibility to expect it, to know she deserves

it, and to communicate to her partner how to help her achieve it every single time. If a girl doesn't orgasm
during sexual intercourse then she should request that her partner find some other way to bring her to
completion – either manually or with the use of sexual aids.

"Well --" I swallowed and tried to calm my anxiety. I was blushingand there wasn't even anyone else
present. "They get straight to the point don't they?"

A sudden knock on the door caused me to jump and I glanced over at the clock. Edward was early! Tossing
the book onto the nightstand closest to the door, I slipped back into my shoes and then rushed into the
living room. I jerked open the door and froze at the sight before me. Dr. Edward Cullen in a t-shirt and
jeans in my office was the most fuck-hotman I'd ever seen. The problem was Dr. Edward Cullen in a black
suit, white shirt, and black silk tie was a walking pheromone factory. Instead of being nervous about how
we would get through dinner, now all I could think about was why we hadn't ordered in.

"You look gorgeous," Edward said quietly and then reached out to draw the back of his hand down my
cheek. "You are gorgeous. I mean, you're literally so beautiful it's hard to think."

"Thank you." I blushed and then took the arm he offered me.

"I made reservations at a tapas bar on the waterfront," he said quietly. "I hope that's all right. If it's not,
I also made reservations at Michealangelo's and at Chez Matisse."

"You made reservations at three restaurants?"

"I wasn't sure which one would interest you tonight and I wanted to give you a choice."

"That's very sweet, Edward. But I think the tapas bar you mentioned sounds wonderful. Is it Catalonia?"

"Yes, have you been there?"

"Once, it was delicious."

"That's the reservation we'll keep then. Like I said, I wanted it to be your choice." He stopped then and
turned to face me. "All of this is your decision, Bella."

"I know," I said and we both knew I was talking about more than the restaurant we ate dinner at. "And
I'm looking forward to it."

"So am I," Edward said as he held my car door open.

The drive to the restaurant was silent but surprisingly not awkward, like I had expected it to be. When we
arrived, Edward pulled directly up to the valet stand and got out, hurrying around the front of the car to
open my door and then reached out to offer me his hand.

"Sir --" The valet reached his hand out and Edward handed him the keys to what I was almost positive
was a ridiculously overpriced black sports car.

"We'll be very careful with her sir," the valet said as he gazed at the car almost worshipfully.

"She's got a date tonight gentleman but enjoy the car while we're inside."

"Oh, um, I meant your Aston Martin, Sir. We'll take very good care of your Aston Martin."

"That's nice." Edward nodded absently. "I'll be inside with my date."

"Wow," I said with a smirk as he tightened his grip on my hand and led me up the restaurant's front
steps.

"What? I thought you'd been here before?"

"I have, it's not the restaurant I was saying wow about, it was the fact you handed your car over to the
valet."

"Why wouldn't I? His job is to park the car. Why would I try to do it instead?"

"It's just that's a really expensive car and Jake never -- I mean, never mind."

"Jake never let the valet park his car? What did he drive?"

"Um, it was just a beat up old Rabbit but that car was his baby. I mean, when we were in high school he

spent every moment rebuilding it and then once it ran it seemed like he was constantly modifying it. No one
ever touched that car beside him. He wouldn't even let me drive it when my best friend from high school
went into labor and we needed to get her to the hospital."

"You're joking, aren't you?" Edward looked at me sharply as we walked up to the reservation stand.

"Reservation for Cullen," he said to the hostess and then turned to me. "Tell me you're joking and he
actually didn't do that."

"I'm serious," I said as he took my hand and we followed the hostess to our tiny table on the second floor
balcony, overlooking the rest of the restaurant. There was a tiny votive candle between us and the tables
were spaced far enough apart to give each couple some privacy. "This is really nice."

"Thank you." Edward shrugged. "I thought you would prefer something quiet so that we could talk and
get to know each other a little better, all things considered. And the first question I have to ask is why did

you stay with a prick like that? I mean, really Bella, you're a beautiful, successful woman. Why did you
put up with that dog's shit?"

"I've known Jacob my whole life. Our fathers are best friends and it seemed like we were always together.
My father is the Chief of Police in Forks so it's not like I was the most popular choice for boys to ask out,
and any who did show interest, Jake scared off or Dad did and then –"

"Dad didn't put up a fight to the boy who was like a son to him? How does he feel about the situation
now?"

"It's --" I bit my lower lip.

"Stop that." Edward reached out to pull my lip out from between my teeth. "The only one who should
nibble on your luscious lips is me, and that requires us to be somewhere much more private than this
balcony."

"Oh, um --" I looked down at my hands, flustered, before Edward reached over and tilted my chin up
with his finger and lacing his hand together with mine.

"What does your dad think about the mess with Jacob now?"

"It's complicated but he thinks I should try to work it out with Jacob. He feels that if we're both willing to
make some concessions – compromise – then we could make things work."

"What exactly are you supposed to compromise on?" Edward asked, looking displeased. "From what I
heard of his conversation, he was an idiot who doesn't deserve for you to pour horse piss on him if he was
on fire."

"I thought the phrase was 'I wouldn't piss on him if he was on fire'?"

"He definitely doesn't deserve that. Everything related to you is too good for him – even that. Besides, he'd
just get off on watching you."

"Okay --" I swallowed a drink of water hastily and shook my head to get that disturbing image out of it.
"This might officially be the weirdest conversation I've ever had. What about you?"

"Not even close." Edward grinned ruefully. "But you still didn't answer my question. What exactly
should you have done differently?"

"Like I said, it's complicated. Jacob cheated with my stepsister."

"Leah is your stepsister? Is her father married to your mother or --"

"No, my father is married to Leah's mom, Sue. So Dad doesn't really want to choose sides because he
doesn't want Sue to think he's favoring me over Leah and with Billy being his friend --"

"Bullshit," Edward said, "total bullshit. He's your father and that bastard cheated on you with your
stepsister. She's a slut with no respect for family and he's even worse. He should have chosen sides and no

offense, but fuck your stepmother if it upset her. She should be upset with herself for the type of daughter
she raised and with her daughter for how she treated you. And as far as Jake's concerned, your dad
should've ran him off with a shotgun for hurting his little girl. He's the town sheriff? I'm sure he knows
where to hide a body then."

"Well --"

"You deserve the very best out of life Bella, and you should have a man who wants to give you that. You're
an absolute goddess and men should worship you – not walk all over you like a doormat. You're better

than that and as your friend, I'll murder any man who says differently – including the Chief of Police for
that little town you grew up in."

"You consider us friends?"

"Well --" Edward laughed at my abrupt change of subject. "I think we're going to need to be, love. I
mean, all things considered."

"What about all the hot, nasty, hate sex?"

"Eh --" Edward shrugged. "I figure it's impossible for me to not piss you off at some point so we'll have
all sorts of hot, nasty, fight sex instead. The added bonus is once we're done, I'll be able to make things
right, and then I'll get bonus make-up sex."

"You are unbelievable --"

"I know." Edward shrugged. "It's a gift. So, since we've gotten around to the big, white elephant in the
middle of the room – what were you thinking?"

"Thinking?" I asked as the waitress appeared and Edward ordered an array of foods along with a bottle
of white wine.

"About how we would do this?" Edward replied once the waitress had left and we were alone again. "I
know the book isn't exactly made for a situation like ours but their idea about scheduling made sense to
me."

"Oh absolutely." I nodded quickly and then tried to avoid his eyes. Edward had read the book already?
When had Edward -- Why had Edward --

"You have no idea what I'm talking about, do you?"

"Is it that obvious?" I swallowed and then glanced up to see him smiling at me.

"Have you even opened it up yet?"

"Yes!"

"And read it?"

"Yes, well, not really, but I did get through the first paragraph. When did you read it?"

"I ordered a copy express mail yesterday on my IPhone before I went in to see Eric."

"What? Why?"

"Because I was hoping we'd end up here, and I was curious. I mean, really, aren't you curious?"

"Oh, well, um," I stuttered.

"Anyway --" Edward took mercy on me and continued on. "If you'd read past the first paragraph, which I
really liked by the way – I think they're spot on in their assessment – then you'd have seen that they
recommend couples schedule appointments once or twice a week to try out the different techniques in the
book. Those are scheduled, set times for the couple to be intimate and then any other time you choose to
have sex together is just what they refer to as "free play"."

"Free play?"

"You're not constrained to the next section of the book. You can go back and revisit positions you liked, try
something else if you want, but you shouldn't try to follow along with the book. The non-scheduled sex is
supposed to be kept spontaneous."

"Oh, okay, so what were you thinking? Once a week?"

"I was thinking twice a week – Tuesdays and Fridays."

"Why Tuesdays and Fridays?"

"Because I'm your first meeting on Wednesday, so neither of us will care if we're late to it since we'll be
with each other, and then Fridays we're not worrying about getting up for work the next morning, we can
sleep late and play a little before we go our separate ways."

"You planned on spending the night?"

"I'd hoped to." Edward reached for his water glass and took a long drink. "It always seemed disrespectful
to me if you went home with a lady, made love to her, and then got up and left right afterward. That's
what a man does with a prostitute, not with someone he respects--unless you want me to leave right away
afterwards?"

"No." I shook my head vigorously. Now that I knew how he thought, I found myself agreeing with him. I
didn't want Edward Cullen to think of me as just some slut he could have a casual fuck with. Strangely
enough, I wanted him to respect me even though we were doing this together. "I want you to stay but I
didn't want you to feel pressured."

"I want to stay," Edward said, his gaze smoldering. I suddenly wanted nothing more than to finish dinner
and go home with him as quickly as possible.

"So --" I swallowed nervously again and then screwed up my courage. "What did the book say about
tonight?"

"Oh --" Edward's eyes twinkled as his eyes raked over me. "Since you didn't do your homework before
class, Miss Swan, I think I'll leave our lesson as a surprise."

Dinner flew by after that. I don't think either of us tasted the food in our first course and when that was

finished, we didn't order anymore or even bother with desert. Once the bill arrived, Edward dropped a
stack of bills onto the table and reached for my hand, pulling me up, and then leading me hurriedly from
the restaurant. He reached for me once with his free hand while we were at the valet stand but pulled back
at the last second.

"Not yet," he whispered, his lips lingering close to mine. "If I start touching you now I don't think I'll be
able to stop."

I could barely catch my breath as Edward sped through the streets of downtown. I glanced over once and
saw that he was doing over 90 miles per hour. "Do you really think we should be going so –"

"Where's the best place to park near your building?" Edward asked and I noticed he was griping the
steering wheel tightly and glancing over at my crossed legs and then back at the street rapidly.

"There's an underground garage," I said breathlessly. "I have an assigned spot but I don't ever park
there."

Edward turned the corner onto my street and quickly pulled into the garage as I gave him directions to my
lonely little corner parking spaces. Jake had refused to replace my truck when it died – claiming it was an
unnecessary expense – and I still hadn't scraped together the funds to buy myself another car. Once he had

the car in park, Edward jerked the keys from the ignition and was out of the car and around to my side,
pulling the door open before I could even blink. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me from the
car, pressing my body close to his before lowering his mouth to mine and capturing it with a heated kiss.

"Elevator," I gasped and jerked my head in the direction of the elevator that would take us to the floor my
apartment was on.

"Mmm," Edward agreed as he half carried me to the elevator, his mouth never leaving mine as he pressed
the button and then pulled me inside.

"So beautiful," he whispered as his mouth left mine and he began to work down the length of my neck,
leaving open-mouthed kisses on my bare skin before dropping to his knees and burying his face in the
neckline of my dress, moaning loudly and wrapping his arms around my waist. "You are so very
beautiful."

"Edward," I said again, breathlessly, as he rained kisses on the tops of my breast. The elevator dinged and
he lifted me so that my feet were off the ground and his face was still buried in the top of my dress as he
walked us toward my apartment.

"Which one is yours?"

"C, I'm in C." I fumbled with my purse to retrieve my keys. Once at the door, Edward sat me down on my
feet and supported me as I hurriedly opened the door before lifting me into his arms again and hurrying
inside, kicking the door closed behind him.

"Are you sure?" he asked quietly and then gazed up at me. Overpowered by the heat racing through my
veins, I simply nodded and then felt myself flush at the suddenly predatory aspect of his gaze. He carried
me to the couch and then sat, leaving me standing between his knees. "Take off the dress."

"Here? I thought we'd be in the bedroom?"

"We will be, but I want to see you now. Take off your dress, Bella."

My hand trembled as I reached for the tie at my waist and then tugged it loose. What did he want exactly?
Should I try to tease him as I did it? Did he want me to put on some sort of show?

"Quit thinking about what I want," Edward said, "just take off your dress."

I pushed the garment off my shoulders and Edward sucked in his breath sharply as he gazed at me. I
kicked off the kitten heels and stood there in nothing but my bra and panties and the pearls my mother
had given me years ago.

"Come here." Edward tugged gently at my hips and I quickly found myself straddling his waist with my
breasts directly in front of his face. Instead of focusing on them, he looked up at my face instead. "You

look like all my teenage fantasies rolled into one right now," he whispered and then kissed me gently. After
a moment, he pulled away from my mouth again and began to work his way down my neck and back to my
breasts – which seemed to fascinate him.

His hands left my waist and began to trace upwards, cupping my breasts through the lace of my bra as he
licked and nuzzled at the skin between them. Lifting the left one, he began to lave at the nipple, nipping
with his teeth, and then teasing it with the tip of his tongue. Wetness pooled between my legs and I
squirmed across his trouser covered cock, amazed at the size of it – Edward Cullen was a very talented man
from what I could feel pressed between my legs.

"Do you have a full length mirror?" he murmured after about twenty minutes of teasing me.

"In my bedroom."

"Can you see it from the bed?"

"Yes."

He buried his head between my breasts and used his fingers to pinch and tug at my now pleasantly aching
nipples.

"Do you like this? Do you like the way I'm playing with you?"

"Yes." I nodded and ground against his erection more forcefully.

"Show me where your bedroom is," Edward said and then stood, setting me down on shaky legs before
adjusting the front of his pants. I tugged him hurriedly into the bedroom, not making eye contact,
suddenly embarrassed about what we had just done and what we were planning on doing.

Once through the door, Edward took charge again, glancing toward the full-length, free-standing mirror in

a corner and then at the bed. Letting go of my hand, he went over to move the mirror so that it was directly
parallel to the side of my bed, about three feet away.

"What are you doing?"

"Come here," Edward insisted and then sat down on the edge of the bed, directly in front of the mirror.

"I don't know if --"

Instead of answering, Edward simply grabbed my hands and pulled me over to where he sat, and then
stood behind me, gazing into the mirror as his hands traced over my body. "Do you like how that feels?"
Edward whispered into my ear and my knees trembled.

"Yes." I let my eyes slide closed and he pinched my nipple roughly.

"Watch," he insisted. "I want you to watch what I'm doing to your body. I want you to see how beautiful
you are. How beautiful you'll be when you're coming."

"I don't think --"

"Look at how beautiful you are," Edward insisted as he reached behind me to unhook my bra and pull it
free from my body, supporting my breasts in his hands instead. Look at how lovely your nipples are, how
creamy the skin on your breasts are. Look at how they already respond to my touch, knowing how much
pleasure I intend to give you, how I want to make your body sing for me.

"Oh," I gasped, my stomach tightening as I watched him run his hands over my body, manipulating my
breasts and gazing at me lustfully in the mirror. Soon, his hands skimmed away from my breasts as he

nibbled on the flesh at my shoulder and his hands slipped down into the sides of my panties, pushing
them off my hips and then nudging each leg up gently so that he could push them off my feet.

"Look at your beautiful body," Edward urged me. "See how your skin glows, the flush that lets me know
how turned on you are."

My eyes locked onto the reflection of his fingers in the mirror as they trailed down my stomach and came to
rest directly over my mound. His index finger flicked out and touched my clit gently, probing my slick
flesh. "Look at how wet you are for me already -- so beautiful. You're such a goddess. Whoever turned you
frigid deserves to be shot."

"It's not that anyone turned me frigid," I protested, "I'm just not in to --"

"Bullshit," Edward replied and then sat down, pulling me on top of him, my legs on the outside of each
of his. "He didn't know what to do with you. It's not your fault he wasn't man enough to care for you
properly."

He put his hands on my knees and pressed my legs further apart, opening them wider and exposing me to
both of us in the mirror. "So beautiful," he reassured me again as one of his arms wrapped around my
waist and went toward my parted legs and the other snaked up to my breasts.

"You don't have to," I said as his fingers began rubbing at my sensitive nipple and the ones on the other
hand began to trace lazy circles into the wet flesh between my legs. "It's not like I'm going to come or any --
"

"Oh yes," Edward insisted and gazed at me intensely in the mirror, "you will. Many, many times, and
you're going to watch yourself as it happens the first time. I want you to see what a gorgeous, sensual,
sexual, woman you are, and then you'll never doubt yourself again.

He began to tease at my clit then and my stomach knotted – something that had never happened before – all

argument fled from my mind as I watched, fascinated as he began to tease my body, playing it like a well-
tuned instrument.

"Oh God," I whimpered as he began to rub my clit in tight circles, pressing against it and holding my legs
open with his other hand to prevent me from pulling them closed to create more friction.

"Look at yourself." Edward's voice was rough with need and he began to work my body even harder,
pushing me to even greater heights of pleasure as I squirmed against his fingers, my stomach in knots, and
electric jolts of pleasure shooting across my skin as the world went white and I came hard, yelping in
surprise at the intensity of my first ever orgasm, against his probing finger tip.

"And I thought you said you were frigid." Edward chuckled and then brought his other hand down to
join the first one.

"That's never happened before," I gasped and let my head drop back onto his shoulder.

"Hmm," Edward hummed against the side of my neck before giving me a brief, chaste kiss. "It will be
happening at least twice a week now, and if I have my way, multiple times each session."

"You mean you're going to do that every single time?"

"This exactly?" Edward asked. "Probably not, but make you come your brains out multiple times a night?
Yep. And I intend to start right this minute."

"What?"

"I said," Edward said softly as he slipped first one and then two fingers inside of me and began to press
his fingers against my inner walls, "I intend to start right this minute."

"What are you doing?" I moaned as he shifted his fingers and suddenly everything inside of me got tight
again and I saw Edward smile in the mirror as he flicked at my swollen clit with his free hand. He pressed
on the spot inside of me again and I felt my body get hot and I was panting with the effort not to rub
myself between his hands like some sort of wanton cat in heat.

"Finding your G-spot," he snickered. "Or should I say found your G-spot?"

He pinched my tender clit at the same time as he pressed hard against that delightful spot and I came
again, even harder, as my feet cramped and I convulsed between his hands working together to bring me
pleasure.

"Oh," I gasped again as he slipped his fingers out of me and wrapped his arms around my waist, holding
me as I came down from the euphoria of the pleasure he'd just given me.

"You're quivering," he said, maneuvering us so that I was lying on the bed on my back with my legs
spread, him kneeling on the side in between them and facing me. "And I haven't even gotten to use my
mouth on you yet."

"You don't have to --"

"I want to," Edward insisted. "Now prop yourself up on your elbows; I very much want you to watch
this."

I propped myself up onto my weak arms and gazed into the mirror at the sight of him between my legs. As
his tongue began to snake around my wet, eager flesh, I decided that Edward Cullen was in fact the master
of revenge. Between Edward and that book, I was almost positive that I was going to orgasm myself to
death – or at least into a permanent bout of amnesia regarding Jake and our life together.

~*~

Chapter Four

The next morning I woke up pleasantly sore with a heavy arm slung over my hip and warm breath on the

back of my neck. The sheet shifted and my nipples tightened in the chilly room and I glanced down to see
that I was completely naked – and Edward Cullen was completely naked next to me in my bed. I'd never
slept naked before, never been naked with another person besides Jake and then only rarely. Jake wasn't
the type to worry about taking his clothes off when he wanted sex.

Edward shifted his hips slightly in his sleep and pressed my favorite new play toy up against my bottom. I
blushed slightly and then squirmed against it, trying to encourage him again. Instead Edward just snored
softly. We'd been up most of the night "playing", to use Edward's term, and I'd never felt as wonderful as

I did now. Before this morning I'd never understood what people meant when they talked about having a
morning after glow or looking freshly fucked but now I felt as if a 100 watt bulb was burning away under
my skin and I was sure if I looked in the mirror I'd have that look I'd always been so envious of my
friends for sporting.

A few minutes later, sure I wasn't going back to sleep and Edward wasn't waking up, I slipped out of bed
and into the bathroom to relieve myself and attempt to make myself look somewhat attractive for when
Edward woke up. Gazing in the mirror, I noticed my curls were now a haystack on top of my head and I
quickly brushed the knots out of my hair, leaving it a puffy cloud around my face as last night's tousled
curls became this morning's full-bodied waves. My cheeks were flushed and my eyes were literally sparkling
so I decided that no makeup was necessary – I intended to go back to bed and didn't want him to think I

was trying to impress him – but wondered about clothes. Should I put on pajamas? Slip into his shirt from
last night? Didn't men find that sexy, a woman wearing their button downs? Would that be sexier than
just going back to bed naked?

"Don't think about what I want," Edward had told me several times last night. "Just do what makes you

feel good. I want you to feel sexy and desirable."

"Don't think," I told my reflection. Okay, without thinking, I felt sexier lying naked next to Edward than
I ever had. If being naked next to him made me feel sexy then that was what I'd do.

Slipping back into the bedroom, I grabbed the Encyclopedia off the nightstand closest to Edward and
slipped back into bed on my side, snuggling back against his chest and pressing my bottom against his still
throbbing erection and began thumbing through the book I was now sure would change my life.

I opened to the page I'd been reading before Edward arrived and finished scanning through it. Just
beneath the paragraph I had read was the bit Edward had mentioned about scheduling time to be intimate
together and then it began to talk about how partners should encourage each other and vocally support
each other – especially the more outgoing partner. It then went on to talk about the three different "forms"
of sexual positions; male dominated, female dominated, and non-facing positions. Each type of position
had one elementary position and then multiple derivations in each section. The author's recommended you

rotate between positions – starting day 1 with a male dominated position, moving to a female dominated
position next, and then moving on to a non-facing position before going on to the next derivation for each.
It also recommended you mark the positions you hadn't originally liked and then go back one month later
to try them again for a second time – just in case you found you suddenly did like them on the second go
around.

Once I'd made it through all the introductory explanation material, I flipped to the male dominated section
and jerked back in surprise at the picture of the man and woman from the cover in exactly the same
position Edward and I had started out in last night – her sitting with her legs open on his lap while he
fondled her in front of a mirror. As I flipped through the section I'd realized that Edward had taken his
studying ahead seriously, replicating everything in the first chapter from memory – including the constant

encouragement by telling me I could and would orgasm multiple times per encounter.

"Maybe we should try a different position," I said when Edward stood up and began removing his clothes,
watching me hungrily the whole time.

"Why?" Edward slipped out of his shirt and then removed his belt.

"I just, well," I stammered and he stopped unbuttoning his dress pants, almost causing me to cry in anguish
since I was so ready for him. "It's nothing but wouldn't you prefer something – I don't know – sexier?"

"The missionary position is plenty sexy," Edward smirked. "Besides, it's the first one in the book and we're
supposed to go in order."

"I've just never really enjoyed it before," I said quietly and felt my face flame.

"You've never came before tonight either, have you?"

"No." I shook my head and he undid his button and then his zipper before lowering both his dress pants and
boxers at the same time. I couldn't help licking my lips as I saw the head of his cock come into view. He was
so large I was nervous he wouldn't manage to fit all of it inside of me.

"Then why don't you try it again with me and see if your opinion changes? What do you say, Love?"

I'd taken his suggestion and then ended up coming an additional three times – once with the help of his
fingers, once with my own fingers and Edward's encouragement, and then finally from just the friction
between our two bodies as Edward pounded away at me mercilessly before coming with a loud, possessive
growl. He'd been right: my opinion had definitely changed after my romp with Edward Cullen.

Eagerly, I flipped to the next section – female dominated positions – and immediately blushed at the first
picture; the woman from the cover of the book was lying between the male models legs and sucking on his
cock as he gazed down at her smiling. It wouldn't be the first blow job I'd ever gave – Jake had been a huge
fan of having his cock sucked and before we'd split, had expected it at least once -- if not twice -- a day. It

was just that none of those times had ever been as intimate as it appeared between the two people in the
photograph.

"Come on Bells," Jake grunted as he tightened the grip his hands had in my hair and pressed his hips
forward harder, shoving his cock further into my mouth and I had to fight not to gag. "The guys are

expecting me. Hummer it for me Bells."

I rolled my eyes and tightened my grip on his ass cheeks, humming loudly as he fucked my mouth. Jake
groaned from the feel of the vibrations and I felt his dick begin to harden even more as he began to eagerly
rock back and forth, throwing his head back and holding my head immobile in front of him.

"Shit yes, Bells. That's the stuff. You're all eager now, aren't you? You just love sucking my dick, don't you
Bells? Want to be my little cocksucker, don't you?"

I hummed louder in an attempt to drone him out. Jake always talked dirty to me and called me names when
we were together and I hated it. Nothing turned me off quicker than that because he made me feel like what
we were doing was dirty – like it was something to be ashamed of, like my grandmother had always said.

"God, for such a frigid little bitch, you've got the mouth of a fucking street whore. I'll never understand it,"

Jake moaned as he began to work his hips harder and I began to hum even more enthusiastically – if he was
calling me frigid then that meant he was close. "Maybe that's what I should do, treat you like a whore and
then you'd be all wet and waiting for me. Wouldn't you Bells? If I treated you like you were a whore, treated
you like all those men paid to treat Renee, you'd be begging for my dick, wouldn't you? God you're such a
nasty tease. Nothing but the no good daughter of a crack whore. It doesn't matter how much you try to deny
it."

He came then and I stopped humming, licking him clean hurriedly and then sucking on him gently until he
was completely soft. "Thanks," Jake shrugged as he zipped his pants. "I'll be late tonight, Bells, so don't
wait up."

I flipped through the rest of the section and sighed in relief when I saw the position that it recommended. I
wasn't exactly comfortable with the idea of riding Edward but at least it was a position I had been in
before and actually somewhat liked – I knew what Tuesday's position was and the idea of it made my
stomach twist nervously.

All I needed to do now was get through giving Edward a blow job without a complete mental collapse and I
would be perfectly fine.

Most nice girls don't realize the power they have over their partners and if they do they aren't willing to use it

for their own advantage. A man in your bed is putty in your hands. Take charge, be in control, and make
pleasuring him your choice – most likely, he'll be eager to reciprocate. It should be noted of course that every
man in the universe has a fantasy about being woken up by a woman giving him a blow job. A plus side is a

freshly woken man on the receiving end of oral sex is not one who will be critical, so if you're nervous, that
may be the best place to start.

"It's like the book is reading my mind," I said and then flipped the book closed. Lo and behold, the next
section of the book involved waking your lover with a blow job and what did I happen to have at my
disposal, but a sleeping, erect lover lying naked in my bed. The last time I'd been to Sunday school no one
had ever said God was particularly indulgent toward Encyclopedia's of porn or booty calls but if he was,
he was most certainly smiling down on me this morning.

Rolling over to face Edward, I wiggled down the length of the bed until I was eye to eye, so-to-speak, with
Edward's very large, very erect cock. I took a deep breath and then licked my lips as I brought my hand up
so that I could trace the ridge along the underside of his cock and it twitched against my hand. I looked up,
afraid I had woken Edward with my touch, but his eyes were still closed and he snuffled softly at my

pillow. Taking another deep breath, I wrapped my fingers around his base and then licked around the
swollen head with my tongue before I slipped it into my mouth and began to suck on him lightly.
Edward's hips jerked forward slightly in his sleep and he snuffled against the pillow as I began to work
the length of him slowly in and out of my mouth. He wasn't going to sleep through the entire thing, was
he? I sucked a bit harder and continued fondling him with both hands.

"Oh fuck," Edward groaned above me and his hips quit shifting as his fingers came down to wrap into
my hair. "Good morning to me."

"Hmm," I hummed lightly and he let out a small whimper and tightened his grip in my hair, but kept his

hips still. I could feel the muscles of his ass tense and I knew he was trying to keep from thrusting up into
my mouth. I started to move up and down more quickly, twirling my tongue around the head on each
upward motion and adding more suction on the downward movement of my mouth.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck." Edward began to whine and I felt a small thrill of pride knowing the Encyclopedia

was right and Edward was now completely at my mercy. "You should move, I mean really, you should
move very, very soon."

"Hmm?" I hummed again and Edward let out a low, animalistic moan.

"Please move Bella," Edward said. "I'm not going to be able to hold on and I don't want you to have to –
"

On the next upward motion of my mouth, I let my teeth scrape across the top of his cock and Edward let

out a surprised shriek as his shaft began to pulse and his release exploded into my mouth. I swallowed
quickly three times as Edward's grip on the headboard tensed and the whole bed shook with his attempts at
keeping his body under such a tight control. When he'd finally stopped coming, I swallowed one last time
and then began to gently lick him clean, nuzzling him as I did so.

"Hey." Edward began to massage my scalp lightly and I looked up at him from between his legs. "What
do I owe the pleasure of that wakeup call to?"

"It's the next section of the book." I smirked and then placed a light, closed-mouth kiss on the head of his
cock.

"I love that book." Edward sighed happily. "You know that, right? I really, really love a book that tells
you to wake me up with a blow job."

"It's too bad we can't finish the section off," I replied as I shifted my weight and crawled up the length of
his torso, kissing him on the chin before flopping down heavily beside him.

"Says who?" Edward raised his eyebrows at me and then wrapped his arms around my waist, placing
both hands firmly on my ass and giving it a squeeze.

"But you just came and –"

"Give me five minutes with these lovelies and I'll be better than ever." Edward smirked and then slipped
down the length of my body to bury his face between my breasts and then purred.

"Edward!" I giggled as his long fingers began to knead at my sore muscles and he draped my leg over his
hip.

"Yes?" His voice was muffled by my cleavage and I felt his fingers trailing up my inner thigh as he began

tickling me lightly between my legs, brushing teasingly against my clit.

"Oh!"

"That's what I like to hear," Edward said encouragingly and then began placing tiny pecks onto the
insides of my breasts, alternating with open-mouthed kisses and licks as he let his fingers slip inside of me
and his thumb rested on the top of my clit. He tightened his grip on me with his free hand and it was
impossible for me to squirm as he began pleasuring me again.

"Edward!" I moaned and thrashed my head, the only part of me not currently in his iron grip. "I'm
supposed to be, be, be –"

"Come first." He then growled possessively against my left nipple and my hips jerked from the added
sensation, causing his fingers to press directly into my G-spot. The entire world went white around the

edges as I almost blacked out from the pleasure it caused.

"There we go," Edward panted as he slipped his fingers out of me and used his other hand to brush my
hair back from my face. "Perfect way to start the morning."

"Over." I pushed at his shoulder weakly and then gripped him tightly as he rolled onto his back, taking
me with him.

"Your wish is my command," Edward said and then leaned up to kiss me gently on the lips as his hands

came back to rest on my ass.

I shifted eagerly then, straddling his waist and using his shoulders to leverage my torso upright before I
leaned over and grabbed one of the condoms from the box on my bedside table.

"Let me." Edward snatched the condom out of my hand and then quickly slipped it on before gripping
my hips tightly. "Is this the next position in the book then?"

"Mmhmm," I said as I reached down and gripped his shaft, stroking him lightly before I let my body sink

down on top of him.

"Love that book," Edward said as his hips shifted upwards, shoving his entire length inside me. I
convulsed at the feel of his cock buried inside me and bit my lip to keep from whimpering because of how
full I felt.

"Me too," I gasped as he began working me along his length. Shivering slightly, I placed my hands on his
chest for support and began to move my hips to the rhythm he set.

"Put your hands back behind you," Edward said through gritted teeth and I hurriedly complied, gripping
his upper thighs tightly and using them as leverage as I worked myself on his cock.

"So beautiful," Edward said as he grabbed my right hand and brought it around to the front and placed
it directly over my clit. "So absolutely beautiful. Want to watch you come hard on top of me, want to see

you moan, need to feel it. Please baby."

I couldn't help giggling as Edward began muttering incoherently. I'd found out last night that verbal
coherency during sex wasn't one of his strong suits. If he was babbling that meant Edward was enjoying
what I was doing to him. I pressed down on my clit and felt a jolt of pleasure as Edward bucked his hips

upward at the same time, brushing against my g-spot and causing me to squirm again. I began to work my
fingers more purposely between my slick folds and bounced enthusiastically on Edward's hard length.

Edward moaned and the additional vibration caused my pleasure to ratchet up even higher. My skin was
hot and my body tight from the jolts of electricity starting inside my pussy and radiating out through my
skin. I was so close to dropping over that edge and losing myself but Edward's hard length ramming into

me kept pushing my ecstasy to new heights.

"I'm gonna come," I wailed as he gripped my hips harder, began to pump up into me, and his thumb
brushed my fingers out of the way so that he could work my swollen nub as well.

"Come for me Bella," he urged and between his hard cock inside me, his nimble fingers on my body, and
the hoarse urgency in his voice, I virtually exploded around him and I felt Edward jerk twice more before
he came as well.

"That --" I collapsed onto his chest and wiggled as his cock began to soften inside me. "-- was amazing."

"One second Love," Edward muttered as he shifted his hips away from mine and then slipped out of me,
fumbling to get the condom off with me still immobile on top of him. Once it was off, he reached out and
dropped it into the waste basket beside the bed.

"Wow," I said as I slipped off him, cuddling into his side.

"I would like to second that motion," Edward replied. "Wow."

We lay there silently for a few moments, basking in the afterglow until Edward shifted onto his side to look
at me.

"So what did you have planned for the rest of the day?"

"Oh." I blushed. Did he want to spend the day together? I had standing brunch plans with Alice and
Rose, but maybe I should cancel them so Edward and I could spend Saturday in bed? Would he want to
spend Saturday in bed? Was I pressuring him if I suggested it?

"I was thinking, if you weren't busy, I mean, but I'm sure you're busy, maybe we could hang out? Go do
something if you wanted?"

"Hang out?" Edward Cullen wanted to hang out with me? Outside the bedroom and with our clothes on?

"It was a dumb idea," Edward muttered and then shifted away from me slightly.

"No! No, it's a great idea! I just need to call my girlfriends and cancel brunch."

"Don't." Edward shook his head at me. "I don't want you to cancel plans for me or anything."

"Nonsense," I said and reached for my phone but Edward flipped me onto my back and kissed my nose,
hovering over the top of me.

"Keep your plans with your girlfriends," he said sternly.

"But –"

"What else did you have planned for the weekend?"

"Nothing." I shook my head back and forth and then Edward smiled wickedly.

"How's this sound then – you go to brunch with your girlfriends while I run home and get a change of
clothes. We'll meet back here at whatever time you choose."

"Noon?"

"Perfect." Edward shifted his hips so that they pressed down against me and my eyes widened as I realized

he was hard again.

"I don't have to leave here until 1030," I squeaked out and Edward's grin widened.

"How long will it take you to get cleaned up to go?"

"Twenty minutes?"

"Think you can do it in fifteen?" Edward shifted his hips against me harder and I instinctively spread my
legs to accommodate him.

"Even if I can't, I'm willing to be late." I gasped as he slipped inside of me again and my body began to
tremble in anticipation of the pleasure it knew was coming.

~*~

Chapter Five

"I can't believe you've never done this," Edward said as he shook his head at me.

"What? I'm sorry I don't share your peculiar hobbies," I said petulantly.

"But you're a book editor!"

"So?"

"Next you're going to tell me you've never been to the city library. Oh God, you do have a library card

don't you?"

"Very funny," I rolled my eyes at him. "Yes, I have a library card and yes, I've been to the city library.
Just because I've never been trolling through dusty used bookstores doesn't mean I'm some sort of illiterate
peasant."

"You're dying to go aren't you?" Edward asked, nudging my elbow. "You just don't want to admit it."

"Yes" --I couldn't help blushing as I admitted my apparent fascination with bargain book shopping with

Edward Cullen. "I may be a little intrigued but it's only because no one I know has ever thought
rummaging through an old bookstore was a fun way to spend a weekend afternoon."

"This is not any used bookstore," Edward scoffed. "This is Powell's. Powell's is not a mere bookstore;
Powell's is the intellectual equivalent of Mecca."

"Mecca?"

"Yes, Powell's is Mecca. That would make Rodney's in Boston, Medina; Bartleby's in DC would be Rome;

and Blackstone's in London would most definitely be Jerusalem."

"And what about the Strand?"

"The Strand?" Edward wrapped his arm around my shoulder and then leaned down to kiss the top of my
head. "The Strand is my version of Heaven itself. The best weekend of my life, besides this one, was spent
immersed from open until close for three days inside the Strand. I spent the rest of the week at the New
York Public Library's Main branch doing research and it was like living in a dream."

"Wow you're dorky," I laughed and Edward managed to look offended before he began laughing as well.

"That wasn't what you were saying this morning," he teased quietly. "Or last night."

"Well" -- I couldn't help blushing at the husky tone his voice had taken on -- "I didn't say dorky was a
bad thing."

"Isn't it?"

"No, actually, I've always had a secret thing for dorky guys."

"Have you now?" Edward turned to face me and maneuvered me into a small alley between two buildings.

"Uh huh." I nodded, suddenly short of breath from the way his eyes had darkened as he looked down at
me. "I definitely think geek is sexy."

"That's good," Edward said before leaning down to capture my lips with his own, "because, when we get
back to your place, I intend to show you just how sexy geeky bookworms can be."

"Do you now?" I asked once we'd broken apart and I'd regained my breath.

"Mmhmm," Edward murmured. "And I think I might have the perfect way to fuel your love of all things
book."

"Oh really? You want to go back to my place and crack open the Encyclopedia again? I thought we were
supposed to keep that to scheduled days and be spontaneous the rest of the time."

"Tempting as that might be," Edward leaned in to kiss me again and then pulled me out of the alley

reluctantly. "That was not, in fact, the book I had in mind."

"What book is it then?" I asked as he led me into the one bookstore I'd always looked at longingly, unable
to convince Jake to go in with me.

The books Edward had in mind turned out to be the complete works of Jane Austen in a red leather
hardback set and William Shakespeare's sonnets bound in blue leather with a royal blue ribbon bookmark
attached. Four hours, and a quick stop for deli sandwiches later, we were lounging underneath a shade tree
drinking water and snuggling as Edward read to me.

"Favorite Jane Austen novel?"

"Pride and Prejudice," I answered and then took a sip of water. "You?"

"Northanger Abbey."

"Northanger Abbey? Really?"

"Yes, really; it's the only one where she actually shows off some of her personality. I mean, if you take it as
the satire it was meant to be and not some masterpiece of Gothic literature, then you can actually see just
how sharp Jane Austen's wit really was. I mean, it comes out a bit in the dialogue she writes in her other
novels but she doesn't really give it free reign anywhere else but Northanger Abbey."

"That's true." I leaned my head back against his chest. "I never thought about it that way."

"In all her other books she tries very hard to be this 'good' female writer. She'll write if it pleases you to
read her little fancies. In Northanger Abbey she comes out and openly mocks famous male writers and

damn the consequences. It was like she finally got a spine and stood up for herself and her craft."

"Wow," I whistled. "Anything else I should know about your opinions in relation to female literature and
writers?"

"I hate the Bronte sisters, I think Emily Dickinson would have been much happier and not nearly as
prolific as she was if someone would have just slapped her upside the head and gotten her laid, and Sylvia
Plath's pathos were a touch too overdone for my taste. Other than that, I happen to love the poetry done by
Anne Bradstreet and Toni Morrison and I think it's amazing that two women from such remarkably

different backgrounds as a 17th Century Puritan housewife and a modern African American woman from
an urban background have both managed to write what I think is possibly the most erotic and sensual
poetry written from a female perspective. I'd put the lyrical quality of both their work in the same class as

the Song of Solomon. Oh and I may have a slight crush on MaryJanice Davidson's characters."

"Wait, wait, did you just tell me that you not only know who Anne Bradstreet is but that you think her
poetry is erotic?"

"Um yes? Should I not think Anne Bradstreet's poetry is erotic?"

"No, I mean, yes. I wouldn't call it erotic but I'd definitely call it sensual. It's just most people don't even
know who she is."

"What makes her work erotic is that it wasn't ever meant to be overtly sexy. They were never even meant to
be shared with a public audience. It's almost –"

"It's voyeurism," I agreed. "You're reading this woman's profession of love to her husband and the
sentiment is so pure that it becomes sensual from the power of the emotion."

"Exactly" -- Edward nodded -- "meanwhile Morrison takes a completely different track with her writing,
using the cadences and the way that words fit together to create the same emotion. They're completely

different styles but they both manage to evoke strong responses from you."

"I can't believe you're a poetry fan." I shook my head in disbelief again. "You write Science Fiction."

"And you edit it, you literary snob. The only difference between my story and anyone else's is the setting;
you just don't want to admit it."

"Explain," I demanded.

"Okay, the one you're editing now – The Barren Wastes – in reality is an epic love story just like the Illiad
or the Odyssey. In fact, I've tried to mirror the story as best I can to a post modern age. The story really is
meant to draw from that huge body of epic tragedies -- the Illiad, the Odyssey, the Aeneid, Women of Troy,
they encompass everything great about storytelling and through that they encompass everything compelling
that an author needs to tell a story. The only difference is that my series takes place in space 50,000 years in

the future between a man and an alien life form that acts as his ship but also physically projects herself
into a humanoid shape to act as his companion."

"And that would be what led to the hologram sex and that's where you lost all the Classical world parallels
for me," I said and then shook my head again. "The space part I was fine with, it's the fact that he's

having sex with his ship that is also an alien life form that he can telepathically link to that squicks me
out."

"She's his way of obtaining the unobtainable," Edward said as he began nuzzling my ear softly. "And in
return she's the one with the real power between the two of them."

"How so?"

"She has the power to make herself into whatever he finds attractive. She, by design, is everything he could

ever want in a woman before he even realizes he desires it. She's a replacement for the love he lost when his
own planet was taken over and Penelope died. He never had a chance to choose whether or not he wanted
her, she was thrust on him while he was grieving and now he's entirely dependent on her to make him
whole. She is the only thing that makes him remember the man he once was, the person he always aspired
to be. Without that, without her, he's just another space pirate out for gold and glory."

"And you just happen to have a thing for alien porn," I added.

"I do not," Edward protested as he began tickling my sides and quickly pinned me to the ground, before
leaning in for another kiss, "have a thing for alien porn. The only thing even slightly pornographic I'm

interested in involves you naked in your bed again and I don't consider that pornographic."

"What do you consider it?" I asked breathlessly as he pulled me into a sitting position again and leaned in
to give me another, deeper kiss.

"Proof of Divine inspiration," Edward murmured as he pulled away from me and ran his fingers through
my hair. "I can honestly say I'll never again doubt my faith after this morning."

"And why's that?"

"Because I woke up next to an angel."

"Edward?" I looked over at him nervously.

"Yeah?"

"What is this?"

"What is what?"

"This?" I pointed between the two of us.

"You mean the nonromantic but totally monogamous sex thing we have going? It's not working is it?"

"No." I shook my head and then bit my lower lip. What had ever possessed us to think that we could do

this and just be friends with benefits? It had been less than 24 hours and I had already started to develop
feelings for him.

"Do you want to stop?" he asked and I could see that he was as nervous as I was.

"No," I answered. "I'm just not sure what we should do about it."

"I think we should just let it go."

"Let it go?"

"See where it goes on its own is what I'm saying." Edward shrugged. "I mean, this whole not feeling
anything for each other tactic we tried isn't working, so let's see where it takes us if we just embrace the

emotions."

"Okay," I agreed.

"Okay?" he repeated.

"Let's go with it," I answered.

"Good," Edward replied and then stood, brushing dirt off his jeans.

"What're you doing?"

"Preparing to go with it," Edward said as he threw our bottles of water into the bag and picked it up with
his left hand.

"What?" He reached out toward me with his right hand and I instinctively took it. With a sudden jerk,
he'd pulled me to my feet and then up over his shoulder in a fireman's hold as he turned and began to

lope off toward the street where he'd parked the car.

"It tells me the best place to go right now is back to your place to take part in my five favorite activities of
all time."

"And what are those?"

"From five to one? Sleeping naked next to you, feeding you while we're both naked in your bed, snuggling
naked next to you in bed, reading naked with you in bed –"

"And number one?"

"Making love to you in any place or position that you'll allow me to -- preferably naked as well," Edward
said as he opened the car door and then dropped me into the passenger seat before racing over to the

driver's side and pulling away from the curb. I'd barely gotten my seatbelt on by the time he'd hit the
corner.

"Edward?"

"Uh huh?"

"I like your version of 'go with it'."

"If I have my way, you'll like it a whole lot more once we get back to your place."

~*~

Chapter Six

~*~

A Very Nice Girls Extra’s & Outtake’s

THE SINGLE MOST INCONCEIVABLE, FOOLISH, IDIOTIC AND W ONDERFUL MISTAKE

OF MY LIFE!

'What the Hell am I doing?' I stared at myself grimly in the mirror as I shaved. 'What the Hell was I
thinking?'

"You weren't thinking," I said to my reflection. "You weren't fucking thinking with your brain at least.
You let your damn cock take over the higher level reasoning functions again and dropped yourself in the
shit. Yes, yes you did Dr. Edward Anthony Cullen. For such a smart bastard you are insanely stupid when
it comes to women."

My eyes were twinkling back at me as I put down my razor and wiped away the remains of the shaving
cream from the sides of my face and neck. I grabbed my toothbrush and started scrubbing at my teeth, still
mentally berating myself for the havoc I was about to reign down upon my own life, all the while going
willingly to quite possibly my own death and dismemberment. Potentially not in that order either.

I'd had a crush on Isabella Swan since the first moment I'd seen her, a fresh faced 20 year old intern at the
publishing house that was handling my second book. She's been in ROMANCE of all things and I'd
wandered over to that side of the building "lost" so many times during her three month tenure that I was

sure the senior editor, Carmen, knew exactly what I was up to. She'd just smile, roll her eyes and then
direct Bella to walk me back to where I belonged in Science Fiction. Once she'd become my editor she'd
never mentioned it and I wondered if Bella ever made the connection. The only thing that made that
thought even bearable was that if she didn't remember me constantly bumbling into her space then she
definitely didn't remember the trip to the local pub where I'd cleaned Mike Newton out in poker and let
him keep his money if he agreed to make a job exclusively for Miss Isabella Swan – and not tell her it was

because of me.

Thankfully, she seemed oblivious of the connection between the fact that Mike Newton got fantastically
drunk, lost a ton of money in poker to one of the writer's and then the very next day offered her a part time
job until she graduated that would parlay into a full time editor's position if she did well. Over the years

I'd realized my Bella wasn't the most observant fish in the tank. How else could she have missed Mike
Newton's obvious interest all these years? Or mine for that matter?

Meanwhile, I'd been more than willing to steal lingering glances at Bella Swan in through the doorway as I
went into Science Fiction every time I had a book in edits. When they'd started pressuring me to move into

High Profile Publishing I'd resisted for two more books, both churned out at a maddening pace so that I
could reduce the amount of time I was away from my Bella, until the day I saw Jacob Black kiss her in
front of the building. After a six month long "lost weekend" that had ended with my marriage to Tanya
Whimple, a stripper who played a naughty housewife in the club she worked at, I'd agreed to move my new
book into HPP when my editor in Science Fiction suggested I keep alive Meili, the phoenix that was my
main character's last link to the human life he'd seen destroyed. Bella Swan's engagement announcement

was ran in the paper and then posted on the bulletin board at the publishing house, Meili the phoenix
died in the cold, barrenness of space and I moved into HPP. It appeared none of us had come out of it
completely unscathed.

Finished with my teeth, I stalked out the bathroom and into the guest suite of my tiny, above the garage

apartment in the house that had once been mine and technically still was according to the title. Grabbing
my favorite suit and a tie that Tanya hated because it didn't coordinate well with her trademark pink
outfits, I hurriedly dressed and glared at myself in the mirror over my dresser as I tightened the tie and
made sure I looked all right.

I couldn't believe I'd been so stupid as to get myself into this mess. Why couldn't I have just been happy
with the life I had – worshipping Bella Swan up close as I pretended to fight her on every single change in
relation to my book, all the while secretly making them to my own, working copy of the manuscript? She
was right after all, most of the time, and I only fought with her so that we could spend have more meetings.
I'd heard about her split with her fiancée and eventually would have worked myself up to asking her out
for a date. One day. Sometime in the future. During this series of books. I did have six more to go in the

ten book contract I'd signed. Surely I'd have gotten up the courage by then? Possibly? Okay, probably not.

I stomped downstairs and into the kitchen, my only interior entrance to the garage and found Tanya at the
island checking her makeup while Guadalupe, her maid, pulled a tray of what appeared to be appetizers
from the oven and transferred them to a silver serving platter.

"Where the fuck are you going?" She snapped and slammed her compact down onto the granite
countertop.

"Out."

"Oh no you're not!"

"Says who?" I turned to glare at her.

"Says me! I have press coming over to talk about my latest book and you are not going to embarrass me by
being out with the guys!"

"Tell them I'm upstairs working! You know, like I have been every time before."

"How do you think that looks on me? The Happy Housewife's husband can't even be bothered for a photo
op with his loving and devoted spouse. Do you know how many men would love to be in your shoes? Do
you? Huh? Huh?"

"So go plague them already," I said as I grabbed my keys. "I've offered you a very generous deal to just

divorce me already and go ensnare someone else to suffer and die in your spider web."

"Divorce! Edward, what would my public say?"

"They'd never know! That's what the confidentiality agreement is for! Besides, who's going to connect the
divorce of Edward Cullen and Tanya Whimple Cullen to the esteemed Tanya Denali, otherwise known as
the Happy Housewife?"

"Someone would catch on and then my career would be ruined! Who wants to buy a self help book for

wives by a woman who so obviously failed at it?"

"I don't know; the people who put you on the New York Times Bestseller list twice now?"

"Why can't you just be grateful to have me?"

"Why can't you just practice what you preach?" I snapped as I grabbed one of her new books from the
counter and slid it across the counter to knock her makeup onto the kitchen floor. No More Nagging! The
Guide to an Even Happier Life as Domestic Goddess was emblazoned in pink cursive across the top of the

cover with a smiling picture of Tanya, in full 50's housewife regalia, wearing a tiara and waving a pink
wand stared up at her mockingly.

I grabbed the door knob and flung open the garage door. "Where are you going?" Tanya screeched and I
swear that all the windows on the first floor rattled from the sound.

"Out!"

"With who?"

"It's whom you annoying, uneducated harpy and her name is none of your business!" Oh shit, I'd
officially said too much.

"You're going out with some slut? How dare you!"

"I don't need to go out to find some slut; I've got one of those at home! And don't you dare call her that!
You don't know anything about Bella!"

"Bella? Wait, isn't your editor's name –"

"Shut up."

"You've finally worked up the courage to pull your balls out of your purse and ask out little Isabella
Swan," Tanya said mockingly. "Isn't that sweet?"

"Fuck you Tanya."

"No, no, you don't like to do that anymore do you Eddie? Haven't wanted to fuck me since the very next
time you walked into that office after we got married and saw her big, bad, meanie boyfriend yelling at her
in the parking garage. Right then and there you fell back into love with poor little Bella Swan and haven't
wanted to touch me since."

"Why do you keep rehashing this Tanya?" I turned to glare at her. "I don't love you, okay? You know it,
I know it, and Guadalupe knows it. Why don't you just let me move out and sign the damn papers
already?"

"I've already told you, you're not ruining my life this way! And you're definitely not doing it with some
tramp of an editor!" She snarled as she reached for her cell phone and let her finger hover over 2 on her
speed dial.

"What are you doing?"

"Calling my agent, you know Eric Yorkie's wife Lauren? The one who got me the deal at the exact same

publishing house as you? So you couldn't even consider messing around with little Isabella before I'd
know all about it through the corporate gossip. How do you think Eric is going to take someone like
Isabella, already a troublesome element with a bad history of having her love life splashed all over work,
land mining the sales of one of his bestselling authors? Or even worse, putting the publishing house's
integrity on the line by sleeping with one of her authors?"

"You wouldn't dare!" I said and even as I did I knew she wasn't bluffing. Tanya "Denali" Whimple
Cullen could and most definitely would "dare" if she thought it would get her ahead.

"Oh yes I would."

"Fine, then I think I'm close to a very public breakdown that will prevent me finishing this series for years
and think of the lurch that will leave the publishing house in? Especially since I'm not going to be capable
of writing without Isabella?"

"You think destroying your own career will stop me?" She mocked again.

"No, but while I'm having that breakdown I think my publicist might have to talk about all the reasons
why – especially the fraudulent marriage the Happy Housewife tricked me into by claiming she was

pregnant! You know, after she'd already gone out and gotten herself sterilized."

The phone clattered to the floor as Tanya stared at me, mouth gaping and eyes wide. "You wouldn't!"

"I most definitely would. In fact, I feel the nibbling of a plot bunny. I think it's definitely going to become
a major plot point in this next book that I'm outlining." With a wicked smile I turned and stalked into the
garage, pulling my car's driver's side door open.

"Edward!" Tanya shrieked as she clattered out to the garage, teetering on her overly high pink stilettos.

"What?" I asked as I turned around and faced her again.

"I won't say a word. Just –"

"Just what?"

"Be discreet."

"Why?"

"For me?"

"And what makes you think I give a shit about you?"

"You don't," Tanya swallowed and looked at me tearfully, black mascara streaking down her cheeks. "But

if you're discreet about it, I promise once this book has been successfully launched I'll meet with a lawyer
about signing the papers."

"You're serious?"

"Yes, if that's really what you want."

"It's really what I want."

"Okay," I nodded curtly and slipped into the driver's seat.

"Okay?"

"I'll be discreet. But Tanya if you fuck me on this I swear to God –"

"I won't," she said hurriedly and scrubbed at her cheeks with her fists. "I promise I won't."

"Fine," I nodded again and hit the garage door opener. I'd be discreet with Bella for Tanya's sake but I
certainly wasn't going to spend any more time with the harpy than absolutely necessary.

There was one good thing about it, I decided as I pulled out of our driveway and started toward Bella's.
I'd been planning on explaining about me and Tanya to her tonight and a very large part of me expected
Bella to walk out of the restaurant without giving me the chance to fully explain but now I wouldn't have
to. By the time Bella Swan realized she was in love with me; Tanya and I would have filed for divorce and
Bella wouldn't think she was the other woman. Especially since I had no intention of telling her just how

recent of a development my divorce from Tanya was going to be.

~*~

Chapter Six

I felt him move in the bed and twined my legs around his, wrapping my arms around his body tighter,
burrowing my head into his chest sleepily. "Bella," Edward mumbled as he shifted again and I clasped
him tighter to me.

"No," I said sleepily. "It can't be time yet."

"The sun is coming up love," he whispered as he nuzzled at the skin behind my ear with his nose.

"Yon light is not daylight," I said quietly and hugged him even tighter. "I know it. It is some meteor."

"It is the sun my Juliet," Edward chuckled. "The lark is there as well not the nightingale in yon

pomegranate tree."

"Don't go," I mumbled and pressed a hot, needy kiss to his collar bone.

"You have work today," he whispered.

"I'll call in sick."

"I need to write," he said and kissed me gently. "I have a pain in the ass editor who will have my head if I
don't have the next round of revisions prepared for her for our meeting on Wednesday and a hot date
tomorrow night."

"I'll deal with your editor," I said and couldn't help smirking.

"She is a fearsome witch," Edward said and I raised my head to glare at him. "Full of evil glares and with
a razor sharp tongue she uses to shred my skin and my dignity. Alas, I fear for your safety to even look
upon her fierce visage, my delicate beauty. To lose you to her wickedness would destroy me most
completely."

"A fearsome witch, huh?" I said as I grabbed my pillow and then smacked him upside the back of the
head with it.

"Terrifying." He smirked before tackling me and planting loving kisses on my neck. "Now, go prepare for
the day, my Juliet. Don your armor of sarcasm and heartless grammatical revisions while your love-struck
servant prepares you a morning repast to gird your loins as you prepare for a valiant battle against

dangling participles."

"You're a goof ball." I rolled my eyes and then leaned up for a kiss.

"That's why you love me," Edward quipped and suddenly we both froze as his words and their meaning
swept over us both.

"I'll just get a shower –"

"Right." Edward nodded hurriedly before he released me and scurried out of bed, pulling on his boxer
shorts. "I'll go start breakfast. How do pancakes sound?"

"Delicious." I hopped out of bed as well and hurriedly pulled on my bathrobe. As Edward rushed into my

kitchen, I scurried into the bathroom and tried to calm my rioting nerves.

Turning the shower on to heat, I quickly brushed my teeth and stared at myself in the mirror. "You're
getting in deep, Swan," I muttered to myself and then slipped out of my robe and into the steaming
shower.

Edward and I had gotten close this weekend and not just physically. It was almost as if once we'd given
ourselves permission to develop feelings for each other, those feelings had come at us hard and fast. Add to
that the fact that being together was such a seamless thing and our relationship had quickly gotten to be
both close and exceedingly intense.

But wasn't it too soon to be in love with each other? I hadn't told Jake I loved him for almost two years
after we had started seeing each other. Okay, we were teenagers when we first got together, but if it took that
long with Jacob, shouldn't it take almost as long with Edward -- especially with the way that Jacob had
hurt me? Shouldn't I be afraid of falling in love again? So why was I falling in so deep with Edward so

fast?

"It was a slip of the tongue, Swan," I told myself sternly a few moments later while I was towel drying my
hair in front of the bathroom mirror. "He didn't really mean he was in love with you."

'But what if he did?' My internal monologue screamed back at me and my eyes widened as I looked back at
my reflection. I shook my head to clear out the craziness that inhabited my brain and then hurried into my
clothes so I could enjoy breakfast with Edward before I had to rush off to work.

"I wish I didn't have to go in today," I sighed wistfully as I nursed my second cup of coffee, wishing I
had time for a third.

"And I wish I didn't have one novel in edits, one in the writing phase, and another in the elementary pitch
stage." Edward smiled wryly. "But as my mother always told me, if wishes were horses then beggars would

ride."

"True," I sighed as he snagged my cup and rinsed it in the sink before putting it in the top rack of my
dishwasher while I retrieved the soap and we started a load of dirty dishes to run while I was at work.

"Tomorrow's not that far away," he promised me. "We'll go out for dinner and then come back here."

"Why not order in?"

"Mm," Edward hummed in approval and kissed my hair again. "That sounds even better my lovely. We'll
order in and rent a movie."

"Perfect," I agreed and leaned up to kiss him on the cheek. "I guess that means it's time for you to go

then?"

"Unfortunately, my Juliet, it is." Edward burrowed his face in my neck one last time before walking over
to the coat closet to retrieve both of our coats, my briefcase, and the duffel bag he'd brought with him this
weekend. He helped me into my coat and then slipped into his own before opening my door and ushering

me outside.

"Do you want me to drop you off at work?" He asked when we reached the elevator.

"I don't know if that's a good idea," I said as I bit my lower lip. What would people say if they saw me
arriving at work with one of my authors? There wasn't any specific rule against editor-author relationships
outside of work but it wasn't something I was ready to make public yet either. What if it didn't work out
between us? Or even worse, what if everyone thought this was just another awkward situation like Mike
was? No one blamed me for Mike's behavior now, but if they saw me with Edward Cullen would that
perception change?

"Probably not," Edward sighed. "You're walking then?"

"It's only two blocks."

"Text me when you make it inside?"

"It's only two blocks."

"Please?" He looked at me with wide, worried eyes and I felt my resistance crumble.

"Once I make it to my office," I conceded.

"Thank you, Juliet, my love." Edward smiled as he pulled me into the elevator and gave me a soul searing
kiss all the way down to the lobby, where the doors slid open and I slipped reluctantly out of the elevator
as the doors slid closed behind him and he made his way down to the parking garage.

"I love you," I whispered once I knew the elevator was gone and then sighed and made my way outside
and hurried to work so that Edward wouldn't worry if it took me too long to arrive.

"Your date must have gone well," Rosalie smiled wickedly as I came into the office and she locked her

arctic blue eyes on me.

"I already told you on Saturday morning that it did." I rolled my eyes at her.

"And now you're going to try to tell me you haven't seen him again since then?"

"What makes you think I have?"

"You, Isabella Swan, look pleasantly exhausted and more than a little lovesick. Have you been getting your
groove on with your new man?"

"Rosalie!" I felt myself blush and sincerely hoped she would think it was because of the topic of
conversation and not because I was guilty of just what she was accusing me of.

"Oooh!!!" She reached for her telephone and hurriedly dialed an extension. "Alice, Miss Bella has got her
groove back! Let's hope it's kinky this time!"

"Rose!"

"We'll be down in ten!" she announced as she waved her hand in my face, shushing me. "No, no, I still
haven't seen him but she looks like she's barely slept since we saw her last and I can see the slightest hint of
a love bite on her collar bone."

"What?" I hurriedly glanced down and noticed that Rosalie was right and there was a tiny purple mark
whose edge wasn't concealed by my sweater's neckline. "Damn it!"

"We're meeting Alice in the ladies room on her floor in ten minutes," Rosalie announced as she rerouted
her phone to the front reception desk and then grabbed her purse. "Then we're getting coffee and you,
little miss, are going to spill all the details."

"All the details?"

"All the details," Rosalie said sternly and then waggled her eyebrows at me. "And don't even think about

leaving out the good stuff."

"The good stuff?"

"I want to know if he's got the same unfortunate 'deficiencies' as Jacob Black did. You'd think a man that
large would be proportional instead of being hung like a Vienna sausage. I trust it's not the same this
time?"

"Rosalie! What makes you think I've seen … or that if I had I'd tell you about it?"

"I know you've seen and if you don't tell me about it, I'll make sure to order Alice's mocha with two extra
shots of espresso and then turn her loose on you."

"Damn it!"

"Come on." Rosalie grabbed my hand and dragged me to the elevators so we could meet Alice in the
basement closest to her area.

Two hours later I was frazzled and a little shell shocked at the depth of personal questions my two closest
work friends -- well any friends at all, now that I no longer associated with anyone from Forks or La Push
after the Jake incident -- felt justified in asking. They had wanted to know everything about Edward and it
was almost impossible to keep from cracking and telling them because of how probing they were. The only
thing that had saved me in the end was Alice's boss calling her personal cell phone and screaming for her

to get back to her desk to head off some sort of emergency involving naked male models and a lack of baby
oil. Rosalie lost all interest in me and my mystery man then as I had to use all my strength to pull her onto
the elevator and back to HPP as she whined the whole way about helping out a fellow admin and how
short staffed Alice was with the stigma associated with erotic publishing.

"Are you Bella Swan?" A delivery guy was standing at Rosalie's desk with another man from the building
security in tow. "Don't you have a job to do?"

"Yes!" Rosalie snapped. "I do. And no, I'm not Bella Swan. She is. Don't you have a job to do? Or the
ability to pick up the phone and dial my mobile extension since the security guy knew it?"

"Mobile extension?" The delivery guy glared at the security guy for a moment before jamming a clipboard
into my hands. "Sign the next six pages."

"What?" I looked between him and the clipboard before scrawling my name across the sheets.

"These," he motioned to a cart covered in bouquets of roses and one vase of stargazer lilies that was behind
him, "are ALL for you."

"All of them?"

"Every single bouquet."

"Oh, well can you deliver them to my office?"

"And how far away is that?" He snapped.

"Hey!" Rosalie glared at him. "It's two doors down, flower boy. Now don't make me come over there and
shove that clipboard up your ass!"

"Um --" I motioned for the delivery guy to follow me with his cart and opened the door to my office. Once
inside I began unloading the vases onto any flat surface available, not bothering to look at the cards.
"Thanks?"

"Don't mention it," the delivery guy said as he hurriedly pushed his cart out of my office and past
Rosalie's desk, dropping his head to avoid eye contact.

"So?" she said as she peered into my office a few minutes later. "Mystery guy?"

"I think so." I blushed as I took out the first bouquet's card. They say the lady is fair; 'tis a truth, I can
bear them witness, it read. I reached for the second bouquet and handed Rosalie the first card to read as
well. And virtuous; 'tis so, I cannot reprove it; the second read. And wise, but for loving me; was on the third

and I sucked in a breath. Was Edward trying to tell me that he was in love with me?

"Where is he getting this from?" Rose snorted as I saw the end of Benedict's soliloquy on the fifth bouquet
of roses before I reached the last vase with the stargazer lilies in it.

"It's Benedict's soliloquy from Much Ado About Nothing."

"Never read it." She shrugged and put the card back in place.

"It's one of Shakespeare's comedies. Benedict is in a constant game of wits with Beatrice and they end up
tricking them into falling in love with each other even though in the beginning of the play they swear they
hate each other. The bit on the cards is when he's in the garden and he hears her uncle and one of his best
friends are talking about how in love with him she is but doesn't want him to know about it."

"And?"

"And it's all a setup but in the end they end up together to live happily and sarcastically ever after. In the
end he falls in love with her not because she's beautiful or rich or anything else, but because she can keep

up with him in a battle of wits."

"So what's the last card say then? Is he asking you to join him in snarky matrimony?"

"I don't know." I could see my hand shaking as I plucked the last card out of its holder. I look forward to
spending time with you, my Desdemona, in a more Venetian fashion.

"What the fuck?" Rosalie glared at the card. "I know you said the guy was a professor, but enough
literary references all ready. What's that supposed to mean?"

"He's referring to the play Othello; Desdemona was Othello's wife."

"And the Venetian fashion?"

"In the first act of the play the antagonist calls out to Desdemona's father and tells him that his daughter
has snuck out of the house and is making a beast with two backs with Othello."

"A beast with two – Oh! Wow, I never knew Shakespeare was so raunchy."

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you." I smirked and placed the card back into its holder with only a
slight tremble in my hand. If I knew nothing else, I knew three things. One, I was in love with Edward
Cullen after just one weekend in bed together. Two, at least a small part of him was in love with me and

desired my body at the very least. Three, I had to come up with some way to either talk Edward out of
doing the next position in the Encyclopedia or go through an intense regime of therapy to get past my
hang-ups about being taken from behind before tomorrow night.

~*~

Chapter Seven

I was on First Beach, watching myself, and I knew it was a dream. All I had to do was wake up and it
would all be over. I was at home, safe, asleep in my bed, but that didn't stop me from walking forward
along the surf and around the bend even though I knew what I would find.

"I don't think this is a good idea Jake," I heard a younger, scared version of myself saying before I walked
around the boulder that shielded the eighteen year old version of myself and Jacob Black from the eastern
section of the beach where most of the tourists and families went to swim.

"Nobody can see anything," the younger Jake said. I walked up, invisible to them, and saw Jake pinning me
against his chest and pawing at my clothes. "It's just the two of us out here and no one will know, Bella."

"But –"

"If you love me, you'll do this for me." Jake pouted and I wanted to scream at the younger version of myself
that doing this would prove that she was stupid and vulnerable not that she loved him. Instead, I watched in
mute horror as the younger, dream version of myself nodded slowly before stepping out of his embrace and
starting to take off her clothes.

"Very nice," dream Jake said as he grinned at me lewdly and younger me hurriedly lay down on her back.

"Hurry up," the younger version of me said quietly and I could tell that she was close to tears.

"Not today sweetheart," Jake said as he undid the button on his jeans and then lowered the zipper before
pushing them off his hips. "Get up on your hands and knees."

"But –"

"I thought you loved me Bella," Jake said angrily and my younger self complied, getting onto her hands and
knees facing toward the west side of the beach, hidden – or at least I thought hidden – from everyone else by
the large boulder behind us. I grimaced at the sight of Jake entering the dream version of me roughly,

without any foreplay, and I could see the first wave of tears starting to slip down her cheeks.

Frozen in place, I wanted to scream out to her, tell her to run, to get away from Jake because it was all about
to get so much worse than she could ever imagine. I couldn't though. I was a silent, invisible spectator to the
one event that would destroy so much of my youth and leave me the terrified, cowardly woman I'd become.

I heard them snickering within minutes and glanced up to see them on another boulder just a few yards down
the beach, crouching out of sight so that my younger self couldn't see them watching. Both of them were
watching with sick fascination, their pants around their ankles, stroking their own cocks as they watched
Jake taking me from behind.

The younger version of me was sobbing now, as Jake moved more forcefully inside of her and I could
remember how it felt as if I was being torn apart with every thrust, praying he would just hurry up and finish
already so the shame of it would be over and I could put my clothes back on and get home as soon as possible.
Jake jerked his hips forward one last time and let out a low growl as he bent forward to bite down on my

shoulder, drawing blood and leaving a bruise that would last for weeks afterward.

"Hey, man!" Sam Uley called out from where he and Jake's other best friend Paul were still stroking
themselves. "You could have at least waited till we'd gotten off too, man!"

"Sorry," I heard Jake call out as he pulled himself out of dream Bella and she began scrambling for her
clothes, her face flushed as he smiled at his friends. "I'll let her finish you off though, man. How's that
sound?"

"Works for me," Paul called out as he hastily pulled his shorts back up and came hurrying over. "Mind if I
flip her over?"

"Nah, man, that's all mine," Jake said as he snagged the scrambling, half dressed dream Bella and held her,
squirming, against his chest. "I'll let you have her mouth or her hands though. Trust me; she's got skills
that will blow your mind."

"Jake!" Dream Bella sobbed and tried to pull herself out of his grasp.

"Come on, Bella,"-- he pinched her upper arm viciously, leaving another bruise. -- "What's the big deal

anyway?"

"No!" She sobbed.

"Bella, don't make me go tell your dad what happened. What do you think he'll say when he finds out what
you were out here on the beach doing, having a gang bang with two other guys?"

"He won't believe you!"

"Bella, Bella, Bella. Don't be stupid. You know he will. Now save us all the hassle and open wide for Paul.
Show him and Sam just why I put so much effort into your lazy, ungrateful, little ass."

I woke up then, panting and sobbing, my heart pounding in my ears as I raced out of bed and into the

bathroom to throw up the contents of my stomach. After I washed out my mouth, I trudged back to bed
and glanced over at my alarm clock – 2:30 in the morning. In just sixteen hours Edward Cullen would be
at my front door with takeout Chinese like we'd agreed upon during our short phone conversation tonight
and then he'd want to take me in the same position that Jacob Black had used to abuse and degrade me in
front of his friends before letting them take part as well. My stomach rolled again and I raced back into the
bathroom to continue throwing up bile.

"You look like twice warmed shit," Rosalie said as I slumped into the office at 8 that morning, my face
even paler than normal and dark circles under my eyes.

"Thanks?"

"What the hell happened to you last night? When you left you were glowing and then you come in this
morning looking like someone shot your dog and then dragged you through a hedgerow backwards
afterward."

"I'm sick."

"Damn, obviously." She whistled and then stopped me before I could even start toward my office. "Go

home, get some sleep. I'll take the rap for it with Eric. You can't be in here like this."

"But –"

"Home, Isabella Swan, and get some sleep. You look like death warmed over."

"Right," I agreed and slumped out of the office and back home to my apartment. Instead of heading
straight to bed I went into the bathroom and found the green Deathquil and poured myself out two solid
slugs that I quickly chugged and then changed into my longest jammies to sleep away the day – hopefully

in a dreamless, self medicated stupor.

I woke up four hours later and repeated the same routine and then drank a large glass of water before
slumping back off to bed. I hadn't been dreaming but I still felt like crap, my stomach tied up in knots at
the thought that eventually I wouldn't be able to fake sick forever and I would have to face Edward. Then

he would realize just the sort of person I was and would never even want to look at me again, much less
continue with the relationship we were building together.

"Bella?" I woke with a start later, hearing someone yelling my name and pounding on my front door. I
glanced over at the clock and saw that it was 4:30 – too early for Edward to show up for our date.

"Yeah?" I stumbled to the door and pulled it open – surprised to see a worried looking Edward on the
other end, laden down with brown shopping bags. "What are you doing here?"

"Rosalie said you were sick."

"What? You called my office?"

"Yes, but only because I couldn't get you on your cell phone and I left 4 voicemails and you hadn't called
me back."

"What did you say?"

"I claimed I needed to ask you something before our meeting tomorrow. She told me you were sick and that
it was probably all my fault with the way dealing with me stressed you out. Oh God, I didn't make you
sick did I?"

"No?"

"Oh, good. Okay, so I brought over a few cans of soup, some cold medicine, hot tea, popsicles, and some
sort of Theraflu bath oil that's supposed to help make you feel better. Why don't I go run you a bath and

then once you're settled in I'll start making you some soup?"

"Are you sure?"

"Of course. Unless you want me to leave?"

"No, no," I said hurriedly, even though I should want him to leave since it was my nerves over him that
was making me feel so bad, but I wanted nothing more in the world than I did Edward taking care of me
right now. "I don't want you to leave. I just didn't think you'd want to stay since I'm sick and we can't –

well, you know."

"Bella, you're sick. The last thing on my mind is cracking open the encyclopedia and trying a new position.
I just wanted to come over and take care of you."

"Oh." I didn't really know what to say to that.

"Bella," -- Edward reached out and wrapped his arms around me and then kissed my head -- "you're
going to have to get used to someone just taking care of you because they care about you and not because

they want something. I just want to make sure you're feeling better. Now go get out of your clothes and I'll
run you a hot bath. How does that sound?"

"Wonderful." I smiled and then sniffled as the impact of his actions resounded for me. Edward hadn't
come over because he wanted something like Jake had always done; he wasn't hovering over me and

wanting to know when I would get better so I could take care of him like Charlie and Renee both used to
do; or nagging at me about taking up too much of his time like Sue Clearwater had once she had moved in
with my father. Edward had simply come over to take care of me.

"Hey, hey, what's wrong?" Edward said hurriedly as he tried to pull back from me and I clung to him

instead.

"Nothing." I sniffled again and broke down into sobs as Edward maneuvered himself backwards to sit on
my couch and pulled me onto his lap.

"Something obviously is," he said, concerned. "You're crying like I just shot your dog. Talk to me so I can
make it right."

"It's just that no one has ever just wanted to take care of me because I was sick and not because they

wanted something out of it. And I'm just not feeling good and that makes me emotional and – What is it
with everyone and the shooting a dog analogies? I've never even had a dog!"

"It's okay sweetheart." Edward rubbed soothing circles in my back as I rested my head on his shoulder
and cried quietly as all the tension left my body. "Everything is going to be okay."

"Edward?"

"Yeah?"

"I don't want to do the next position in the encyclopedia." I blurted out and then immediately cringed.

"Any of them?"

"No, just the next group. You know the ones where you take me from behind? Is that okay?"

"Of course it's okay," Edward said smoothly. "I told you before, I'll never pressure you to do anything
you don't like or don't feel comfortable with. But can you tell me why? Is it just something you're not

comfortable with or is there an underlying reason?"

"Does it matter?"

"If it's something that you're just uncomfortable with because your nervous, then I would tell you to think
about maybe just trying it once and if at any point you don't like it, we'll stop immediately and switch to a
position that you do find pleasurable. If there's a reason for it though, then I wouldn't tell you to just try
it out, but I would ask you to trust me enough to tell me what that underlying reason is."

I immediately stiffened at the thought of telling Edward about what Jake had done to me. Would he hate
me? Think I was disgusting? He definitely wouldn't want to be with me anymore.

"The way you tensed answers that question for me," Edward said softly. "What happened to you
sweetheart? Will you tell me please? I'll do whatever I can to help you."

"I can't," I whispered into his collar and shook my head.

"Why? Why can't you tell me Bella? I promise I won't let anyone hurt you no matter what you tell me."

"You'll hate me."

"No, no, love, I could never hate you; especially with what I know about Jake. Whatever it is that has upset

you I can tell that obviously it wasn't something you wanted."

"Jake used to, um –"

"It's okay, you don't have to tell me if you're not comfortable yet."

"No." I shook my head. "You need to know. It's just that Jake used to force me to have sex with him in
that position and then invite his friends to watch."

"He what?" Edward growled angrily and I immediately winced. I knew he was going to hate me no matter
what he'd said before. I should have trusted my gut instinct and not told him. "Are you saying that Jacob
Black used to rape you and let his friends watch?"

"It wasn't rape," I stuttered. "It wasn't like he held a gun to my head."

"So you wanted to do it?"

"No! The first time he threatened to tell my father that he caught me having a threesome with two of his
friends on the beach at La Push. Even though it wasn't true, I knew he'd believe Jake and not me because
it was Jake and he always believed everything Jake said. After that he then told me that if I didn't keep
doing it he would tell my father about all the times I did. I couldn't let my father find out. He'd have
thrown me out of the house!"

"He raped you, Bella," Edward said softly. "You didn't want to do the things that he made you do and he
threatened you to make you do it against your will. That makes it rape and I could never hate you for the
fact that someone victimized you."

"But now I've got all these hang-ups and I can't do something you want to do and –" I began to sob
harder and Edward hugged me tighter against his chest and kept rubbing my back soothingly.

"Okay, we need to get some things out of the way, Miss Isabella Swan. First, if you're not into it then I
don't want to do it. I won't enjoy it if you don't, okay?"

"Okay." I sniffled and then wiped my eyes with the cuffs of my pajamas.

"Second, never, ever blame yourself for something that dog did to you. And never think that I'll blame you
either. Okay?"

"Okay," I agreed.

"Third, I will never do something like that to you, Bella. What happens between us is between us and no
one else and I would never, ever disrespect you by inviting someone else to watch us making love to each
other. So from now on, if I have to walk you through the house and lock every single door and window
and then shut every single curtain in your apartment with you watching before we make love, then I'll do it

without a second thought."

"Really?"

"Every single lock and curtain, every single time we make love. Even if I have to get out of bed in the
middle of the night before I wake you up for a second round of middle-of-the-night nookie."

"Okay." I smiled at him weakly.

"And finally? I love you, Isabella Swan, and I would never do anything that didn't show you that."

"You love me? Really?"

"I have been in love with you since the first moment I saw you," Edward said and then leaned up to kiss
me gently on the lips.

"Wow. Edward?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm pretty sure that I'm in love with you too."

"I second the sentiment then – wow."

"And Edward?"

"Yeah?"

"I think you should lock all the doors and draw all the curtains."

"Are you sure? I mean, we don't have to do anything if you don't want to. You're sick."

"I made myself sick worrying about telling you this. Now I'm feeling a bit better. Besides, you're not Jake

and I think I want to try this with you."

"Really?"

"Yeah." I nodded shyly.

"Is that okay?"

"Anything you want is okay, Bella. Just promise me one thing?"

"What?"

"If at any point you feel uncomfortable, tell me to stop?"

"Okay."

"Promise?"

"Yes." I nodded and then he shifted so that I was sitting on the couch and he stood.

"What are you doing?"

"Locking the door and drawing the curtains."

~*~

Chapter Eight