The Left Wing Is Mine

By Starlightbj

POV - Gus

Gus’s reckless night out causes Justin and Brian to live in separate wings of Britin

Ten years after 513

Part One

At the time I didn’t care that I drove drunk and dented the Mercedes. I was pissed that Justin doled out my
punishment and got all high and mighty about me drinking and driving. I wasn’t even that drunk and the road to
Britin was mostly deserted at night.


He came out to the car as soon as I stopped the car outside the house.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah.”

“The headlight and the fender…” he bent down, examining them. “What happened?”

“Nothing.”

“You’ve been drinking.”

“Couple of beers. So?” I walked past him and up into the house.

Justin followed me, right on my heels. “You could’ve hurt yourself. What did you hit?”

“A mailbox. Hardly life threatening.” I started up the stairs.

“Gus, I haven’t finished talking to you. I can’t believe you did that. You could’ve hurt someone – or even killed
them.”

“I didn’t though. It was just a little prang. You’re such a fucking drama queen.” I started up the stairs again, holding
the rail for balance. Maybe I was drunker than I thought.

He followed me. “Gus! Don’t walk away when I’m talking to you. Your attitude is really shitty. You’ve damaged
the car and you drove drunk. You’re only sixteen – you shouldn’t be doing that.”

I turned at my bedroom door. “I think my age is a good excuse.”

Justin was fuming. “You are so grounded. For two weeks.”

“I’m only here for two weeks! Fuck that! That sucks. You can’t ground me for my whole vacation here.”

“I can and I will. Wait till Brian finds out. You’re lucky you’re dealing with me.”

“Yeah, real lucky.” I sneered and slammed my door.

Dad had been okay with me taking the Mercedes. He knew I was going to the movies and out with friends. He didn’t
lecture me on how I should behave or what I should do.

He’d been totally cool while I’d been staying at Britin. My Moms had gone to France and Italy for a month and I
was spending half that time with my Dads and the rest of it with Debbie and Carl in the Poconos.

I hadn’t spent much time with the Dads because I’d been at boarding school in Washington DC. My weekends were
mostly spent in Philadelphia with my Moms. My Dads spent their weekends in Provincetown or Miami, depending
on their moods.

Dad was insistent that I stay with them for two weeks. It was cool he wanted me to stay so badly but he really did.
He had to talk my Moms into it but they were okay with it in the end. He’s cool for a Dad even though Mel says he’s
a big kid who won’t grow up. That just makes him fun for me to hang with.

What sixteen year old doesn’t want to hang out with a big kid who has lots of money and loves to spend it on them?
Ha ha.

I was sitting at the kitchen table, laughing and eating pancakes with Dad when Justin emerged in the morning.

“Sunshine, you slept late.” Dad pulled him down for a kiss.

“Uh, yeah, I was painting till late.” He looked at me.

“What are we doing today?” Dad asked.

“Gus, have you told Brian what happened last night?”

“Did you get laid?” Dad sipped his coffee, his eyes on me.

“He took out the Merc.” Justin said with his face tight. He had that snotty expression he got when he thought he was
right about something.

Dad looked up at him. “I know. He went into the Pitts.”

“I thought his friend picked him up. Until I heard him come hone.”

“No. I let him take the Merc.”

“Gus, I thought you would have told Brian what happened? Did you think he wouldn’t find out?”

“Find out what?” Dad looked from Justin to me.

I swallowed and glared at Justin. “It’s not that big a deal.”

“It is a fucking big deal! It’s a fucking huge deal!”

“Justin.” Dad snapped at him. “What the fuck is going on? Why are you talking to Gus like that?”

Justin leaned against the counter. “Gus drove home drunk last night and dented the car.”

Dad’s face paled. “Are you okay, Gus? You didn’t hit your head did you?”

I screwed up my face. “I clipped a mail box, that’s all. The car looks worse than it was. I didn’t even drink much.”

“A mail box? Were you playing mailbox baseball?” Dad was trying not to smile.

I burst out laughing. “No. I should’ve though.”

“Brian, for fuck’s sake. His breath stank of alcohol. He obviously drank a lot. He seemed drunk – his attitude to me
sucked.”

“Did not.” I scowled at him. “I wasn’t that drunk. Are you calling me a liar? I said I didn’t have much.”

“You must have drank a lot for me to smell it on you!” Justin yelled at me.

“Justin.” Dad scolded him.

“You’ll have to earn money to pay for repairs while you’re grounded here.”

“Fuck that.”

“Grounded?” Dad looked at Justin.

“Yes I grounded him for the two weeks he’s here.”

Dad shook his head. “No. He’s only here for two weeks. No way is he spending it grounded. We’ve got things to
do.”

“Are you going to over-ride me?”

“You should have spoken to me first.”

“You were asleep because you drank too much.”

Dad’s eyes narrowed. “You could have woken me. It’s not a decision for you to make alone. You should have
waited until this morning.”

“So you’re not punishing him?”

“No.” Dad looked across at me. “I’ll talk to him but no punishment.”

Justin was now truly fuming. He saw the smug look I gave him. “God, I can’t believe it.”

I’d been rapt when Dad told Justin he disagreed with grounding me. Parental guilt is a great thing.

Seriously what was Justin thinking? I was on summer vacation and two weeks at Britin was the longest I’d stayed
with my fathers in a long time. He couldn’t ground me for a whole two weeks.

Justin’s harshness backfired on him. I couldn’t help looking pleased when Dad said the grounding was too harsh and
the car wasn’t badly damaged.

Justin was freaking pissed. His cheeks went red and he looked like he was going to explode but he calmly said
something about how driving drunk at sixteen was very serious and that I should have to pay for the damage to the

car and added that if Dad wasn’t going to back him up and act like it was nothing, then he would leave it to Dad to
punish me.

Dad acted like he didn’t care that Justin was mad. Justin stormed out to his studio. Dad told me to get ready to go
into Pittsburgh for the day.

I was waiting by the car when Dad went up to Justin’s studio above the old stables. “Come on, get changed so we
can go to the Pitts.”

“I’m not going. I’m so fucking mad at you Brian.”

The studio door closed and I tried to listen to their voices coming through the windows.

There was yelling but I couldn’t make out everything they said.

Until Justin yelled “Get the fuck out! I’ve never been so fucking hurt and pissed at you Brian! Never!”

“Fuck you! It wasn’t your place.”

“Fuck off.”

Dad didn’t talk much in the car. His eyes were that dark cloudy color they get when he’s real mad.

We went shopping for clothes. Dad loved taking me to his favorite stores to sort out my wardrobe with me. I had to
wear a uniform at boarding school but at night, in the weekends and vacations I was one of the best dressed guys I
knew.

We had lunch at the Diner with Emmett and Debbie. My cheeks hurt from Deb’s pinching them. Emmett told us
some funny anecdotes about his clients – mostly wedding stories.

Next we visited Michael at the comic store. He gave me a few comics and graphic novels to keep. He was busy so
we didn’t stay there for long.

I wanted to see a movie. After ten minutes of disagreeing we finally decided on one we could both tolerate.

I took all my new clothes up to my room and was reading the new Rolling Stone magazine when I heard Dad down
the hall.

“What are you doing?” He sounded surprised.

“What does it look like?” Justin snapped at him. “I’ve moved all my clothes into here. I’m sleeping in here. I’m
living in the Left Wing of the house. You can have the Right Wing. The Left Wing is mine.”

Didn’t he mean ‘West Wing’ and ‘East Wing’? They weren't political beliefs.

“You’re fucking kidding me.” Dad growled at him.

“No I’m not. I’m fucking deadly serious.”

“For Christ’s sake, Justin. I disagreed about your idea on punishing Gus. It’s not worth making a drama out of.”

There was a silence. I could feel the tension all the way down the hall.

“Drama? Gus could’ve been killed because of his behavior. If that’s not worth drama I don’t know what is. He was
sent to boarding school for his reckless behavior.”

“It’s sorted out. He’s going to work at Kinnetik for a few days to pay for the damage to the car.”

“And?”

“And what?”

“That’s his punishment?”

“Yes. I’m his father, I chose how to punish him.”

Shit, I thought, bad move Dad.

“That, Brian, is why I’m moving out of our bedroom. You’re a fucking asshole.”

I stayed in my room and waited until dinner to go downstairs. It was a little like walking on eggshells. I didn’t want
to make either of them mad at me – or madder in Justin’s case.

Dad was in the living room with the pizzas that had just been delivered.

“Did you get me the Supreme Meat one?” I sat on the sofa, flipping open a box.

“Yes, I got you the disgusting cholesterol heart attack killer pizza.”

Dad was such a health freak. Apart from his cigarettes and alcohol. And the drugs I wasn’t meant to know about.

“I’m young. I burn up calories quickly.” I lifted a large piece onto a plate and took a huge bite.

“Ugh.”

“Should I get Justin?” I asked.

Dad’s face clouded over. “He doesn’t want any. He’s arranging his own meals apparently.”

I swallowed. “It’s bad, isn’t it? Him moving out of your room?”

He looked at me like he didn’t know what I meant.

“I heard you guys arguing.”

“It’ll pass” He picked some cheese off his slice of pizza. “He can’t resist me for long.”

I could tell Dad was worried despite his bravado. His mood was already mellow and he had a glass of Beam on the
table. He didn’t usually drink Beam with dinner.

“He’s really mad.” I said, feeling a bit guilty for my part in it.

“He’ll get over it.”

“If I didn’t dent the car he wouldn’t be mad at you.”

Dad shook his head. “Listen to me, Sonny boy. Are you listening to me?”

Uh oh, he was getting serious. “Yeah, yeah, I’m listening.”

“It’s not your fault. How Justin deals with me is nothing to do with anyone else, okay? He’s chosen to move out of
our room. He didn’t have to do that. It’s got nothing to do with what you did.”

It was nice of him to say but I didn’t believe him. Without me needing to be ‘punished’ they wouldn’t have
disagreed, argued and Justin wouldn’t have got so angry and hurt.

Dad put The Godfather on after dinner. I told him I was going to watch a DVD in my room and went upstairs.

I could hear music coming from Justin’s new room. I knocked on the door. “Justin?”

“Yes.” His voice was unfriendly.

I pushed open the door and looked in. He was eating a salad on his bed, watching the Discovery Channel. “Can I
come in?”

“Yes.”

I stood by his bed. I didn’t know exactly what to say. “Are you okay?”

“I will be.” He looked mad or sad – or somewhere in between.

“It’s my fault you guys are in different rooms.”

“I’m sure it would’ve happened sooner or later. Your father has a knack for being an insensitive ass.”

“But I caused the problem that made you argue.”

“Gus, it’s not your fault, okay?” He put his salad aside. “Sit down.”

I perched on the edge of the bed. “I was a dick though. I kinda put you against him so I wouldn’t get punished badly.
Sorry Justin.”

“Thanks.”

“You guys will make up soon, huh? You can’t resist each other.” I joked.

Justin didn’t crack a smile. “I think I’ll be able to resist Brian for quite some time actually. It’s been a long time
since he was this much of an asshole.”

“Oh. Will you come out and do stuff with us this week? You can ignore him while we’re out.” I said hopefully.

“No I don’t think so.”

“Oh.” I wanted to spend time with him too.

“We could spend a day together - or a few hours while Brian’s at work. I’m sure he’ll be going into Kinnetik even
though he’s taken two week’s vacation.” He nibbled on a carrot.

“I think he’s going in on Tuesday for a meeting.”

“We could do something then.”

“Cool.”

“Has Brian had dinner?”

“Yeah he’s picking at pizza and drinking Beam.” I smiled to myself. Justin couldn’t help checking that Brian was
eating. He was always looking out for him.

“Beam? Hmm.”

“He ate a lot of fries.”

“Good.”

I went back to my room. I was watching that Bettie Page movie. She was hot. I hadn’t yet come out to my parents
that I was straight. I knew none of them would mind but I couldn’t help but think Dad would be disappointed. He
was a heterophobe after all.

I hid my porn mags like all teenage boys. I hated all those Hustlers and Penthouses with the fake fits and shaved
crotches. I bought old erotica books and magazines from the 50s and 60s. I knew I was strange for a teen boy but I
had an unusual upbringing. That was my excuse anyway.

I didn’t know then that porn would play a part in my Dads reunion.

……….

My oil painting wasn’t coming out quite how I’d hoped. I was hanging out with Justin in his studio while Dad did
some gardening. Something I thought I’d never see.

I’d returned to visit again for the last weekend of my vacation, still guilty that they were living in separate wings of
the house, and my part in that.

I put down my brush and sat on the chair, turning to look at Justin.

He was staring out the window, gazing down with a sad expression on his face.

“Is Dad still digging?”

“Yeah. He’s getting a dark tan with all that gardening.” His voice was wistful.

‘I never thought he’d like gardening but he loves it. He’s most proud of the sunflowers. Do you know why?”

“No.”

“He said each one reminds him of a sun and that reminds him of you.”

He continued to gaze out of the window.

“You miss him.”

“Yes but that doesn’t mean I’ll forgive him.”

“He didn’t mean what he said. He was worried if he grounded me then I wouldn’t want to stay here again. He thinks
that every year I get older he’ll get to see me less. He regrets what he said to you.” I watched his face. “Working at
Kinnetik has been punishment. I had to get up early yesterday after that party. I had to work with a bad hangover all
day.”

He smiled and shook his head at me. “Good. You know I only got mad at you because I was worried. I can’t help
but jump to the worst conclusions. Since my bashing, I get overly cautious and anxious. As soon as I saw the car and
knew you’d been drinking I pictured you dead in a car wreck. That’s why I was so mad.”

Shit. Justin rarely mentioned the bashing or its after-effects. I didn’t know it still affected him to such an extent that
he got anxious. Fuck I had been such a selfish dick that night and the consequences were still playing out three
weeks later.

I knew I couldn’t fix it. No big dramatic act on my part could fix their rift even if it was my fault.

If I was a TV movie, I’d organize a huge surprise party and they’d be so touched they’d make up in front of all their
friends. Or I’d buy them both air tickets somewhere romantic and they’d be forced to forgive each other and spend
the vacation making love on a beach. (God know where a teenager would get money for plane tickets and hotels). Or
I’d buy 300 roses and send them to Justin, pretending they were from Dad.

I’m not a TV movie. I’m a bratty teen with no money and I don’t think romantically. I just want my fathers to kiss
and make up and forgive each other and sleep in the same bedroom, even if I’ll have to hear those noises they make
sometimes through the walls.


Part Two


“I love dipping croissants into my coffee.” I grinned at Dad when he shook his head at me. “Yes I know croissants
are made with lots of butter but I don’t care.”

He was reading the newspaper at the kitchen table, the French doors open to the deck, where we could see Justin
swimming laps in the pool. “It’s your body.”

“I know. I bet you ate shit when you were my age. It’s only ‘cause you’re old-.”

He shot me his Kinney Death Glare.

“-er. Old-er.” I should have known better than to use the ‘O’ word. “That’s why you watch what you eat.”

His frown remained but he seemed not to care about what I’d said. Usually I’d get a good telling off for using the
‘O’ word, but now he was looking out towards the pool at Justin.

“Um, have you guys talked at all?”

“Yes.”

Somehow I’d missed their reunion. How was that possible? They hadn’t been talking the night before. It must have
happened over night. “Really?”

“Yes. I told Justin that I thought his car needed a tune-up.”

“And then you guys started talking again?”

“No. He told me to stick my advice up my -.” Dad glanced at me. “We didn’t talk.”

I sighed and leaned back in my seat. “When are you going to make up?”

“He’s the one who moved out of our room and split the house in half.”

“But you upset him. You need to apologize.”

“I think we disagree there, Sonny Boy.”

“Dad, you do. You really hurt him.”

“He’d already decided he was pissed at me before I said what I said in the studio.”

“You didn’t treat him like he was my other Dad. You acted like he had no say – which at the time suited me but I
changed my mind.”

“Hmmph.”

“God, you guys are so stupid. You’re like sulky kids – pouting and avoiding each other.”

I heard water sloshing. Justin had finished his laps and hauled himself out of the pool. I looked at Dad.

His eyes were fixed on Justin. I saw them run up and down Justin’s body, pausing around the middle.

Justin bent down and picked up his towel from the seat. He turned his back to us and rubbed his hair.

Dad swallowed but his eyes stayed glued to Justin. He had a mixture of sadness, longing and something else in his
expression. Something I didn’t want to try to decipher.

“Take a photo, it’ll last longer.” I joked.

He cleared his throat and adjusted his trousers.

I snorted into my coffee cup. “Gross. Just ‘cause he’s in swimming trunks.”

Dad gave me a frosty look. “The new maid, Louise, found some of your reading material and brought it to my
attention. Speaking of gross.”

“What the fuck? She went snooping in my room?” I put down my cup, incensed. “That’s none of her fucking
business. Bitch!” I was mostly just embarrassed but she still shouldn’t have snooped. I had those magazines well
hidden.

“Interesting material you have. I was surprised. Not what I was expecting.”

“Man, I’m locking my door next time I stay. What did she say?”

“Something about God and dirty minded boys and punishment and confession.”

“No way. Aww man, she’s religious? Why have you got a religious cleaner? Fuck. I suppose I’m grounded for
having porn in my room. That’s so hypocritical. As if there isn’t already porn in this house. I should know – I’ve
watched some of it. I guess I’ll be grounded for that too.”

“You watched our porn?” Dad asked me.

I was already in trouble so I admitted it. “Yes. ‘Prison Bait’.”

“Good choice.”

“So what’s my punishment?”

“For what?”

“Having porn magazines and watching your porn.”

“I don’t mind that you watched my porn. It’s educational. Might come in handy for you one day.” He gave me a
questioningly look.

I didn’t tell him I probably wouldn’t need to give guys blow jobs or have butt sex. “What about my magazines?
Obviously you didn’t like them.”

“Not my thing, Sonny Boy. I just meant it was interesting you like retro porn. I didn’t see any modern magazines in
the pile.”

“I don’t like modern porn.”

“But you like straight porn.”

I looked down at my lap. Here goes. The moment I’d semi-dreaded. “Yeah. I like girls. I haven’t been with one but I
know I like them.”

Dad didn’t say anything. I couldn’t meet his eyes. I knew he was disappointed in me. His only son was straight.

“I guess I’ll fire that damn maid.”

“Let me do it.” Justin stepped in through the French doors. “No one’s going to try and shame our kid about his
sexuality.”

I looked up quickly, my eyes darting between them both.

Justin stood in his swimming trunks, his eyes on me.

“Thanks Justin.” I said, totally surprised that he’d spoken to me with Dad around.

He came in and took a bottle of water from the fridge. “What a freak that she snooped around for your porn.”

“Did you show Justin my magazines?” I asked Dad.

“No.”

“I heard you guys talking about it just now. I gather you like retro porn?”

I felt my cheeks blush red. “Yes.”

“I bet you like Dita von Teese.”

He’d heard of my favorite burlesque performer. Justin was so cool. “I love her. She’s beautiful.”

“She is.” Justin leaned against the counter, and sipped some water.

I glanced at Dad. He was being unusually quiet.

He had his newspaper up and was reading but I caught him looking at Justin for a few seconds, then reading again.

“Did you really think we’d punish you for watching our porn?” Justin asked me.

“Yeah. Most parents would freak if their kids saw their porn.”

“We’re not ‘most parents’.”

At that, Dad folded his paper and placed it on the table. He looked at Justin with such a look of sadness, his brown
eyes soft.

“We’re definitely not,” he said huskily, his eyes once again traveling Justin’s body.

I ceased to exist then.

Justin placed his water bottle on the table, his eyes meeting Brian’s. He licked his lips, his eyes glistening.

Dad pushed back his chair. He stood up and stepped towards him.

“No, we’re not.” Justin looked up at Brian, seeming shy and hesitant.

“Sunshine, I’m sorry.”

They were all over each other. Justin practically sprang into Dad’s arms and Dad was all octopus-like, hands all over
the place. Their mouths were stuck together.

I snuck upstairs to my room and had a shower and gave them some space.

I was alone all day.

It seemed the Left Wing/Right Wing division had ended. Dad and Justin were all over the house.

I heard them in Justin’s room first, then their own room, so I went downstairs…until I heard them in the spa pool on
the deck.

I returned to my room to watch a DVD and fell asleep. When I woke from my nap I heard them in Justin’s guest
room again. How much ‘making up’ did they need to do?

A lot. They made time to have dinner with me in the living room and they tried to watch a DVD with me but they
got distracted and I sent them upstairs. They were like two horny teenagers.

I’d rather have them grossing me out with too much sex than not talking. No way should those two be separated
from each other. The world was wrong with them ignoring each other for three whole weeks. It had seemed off-
kilter, out of balance, just plain wrong.

Britin being divided in half was fucked up. It was weird. That place had always been a sanctuary for me. A haven
from the all-female house I usually inhabited as a kid. It was always filled with love and laughter and fun.

They both felt bad that my vacation was ‘ruined’ by their disagreement and they promised to take me to Jamaica for
Thanksgiving later in the year. I didn’t think my vacation was ruined at all – merely inconvenienced – but I wasn’t
going to complain about a trip to the Caribbean.

My Dads are cool. But they’re at their coolest when they’re happily in love with each other and spreading their joy
throughout the whole of Britin. That’s when it really feels like a home.

FIN