Divine Ignorance




Divine Ignorance

Greg Burkett ([e-mail])


In 1978 I was returning from a three week vacation in northern
Wisconsin. My family had rented a cabin in 250 wooded acres with
2 private lakes. While my family slept in the cabin, I always
slept alone in my tent in the woods. I spent most of the week
wandering in the woods, fishing and meditating. I would do it
sitting or I would use a mantra anywhere I went. I was 17 years
old.

My brother was driving the car as we headed south on highway
45. I was suddenly seized with the knowledge that I was leaving.
I simply knew I was leaving this world,period. I thought I might
be going up or vertical. I began to disengage from all I was
attached to. My friends, family, the place where I grew up,
everything. As I thought of each thing I let them go. The last
thing I remember giving up was the concern that I might seriously
startle my brother by disappearing. I wondered how he would
explain my being gone.

Then everything changed. The world changed. I no longer had
use of my mind. Try as I could I could not form a thought. I saw
the world with eyes that were not eyes of man. I perceived
directly and realized that I had seen the world through words
which led to only relative knowledge. I laughed out loud as I saw
each thing as it was. It was pure joy. Everything was alive with
the shiney energy of God; a total flowing and pure expression. I
have no idea how long this went on but when I turned my attention
back to my body I noticed it was in some type of shock. There was
a knot in my stomach and I was trembling. I told God that I could
not take it any more. The experience subsided and I vowed to
return as soon as I could. I never mentioned this experience to
anyone for three years. I began to read books to find out what it
meant.

I simply abide in the present now and now and now. Beginning
in late 1994 I began to become aware of moments when my mind was
unusually quiet. Most often in the evening before I went to bed.
All thinking would be gone and I would simply remain aware. It
seemed the room was "full" of this silence no matter
what was going on. There was only contentment. No questions,
nothing to say.

As time went on these moments seemed to last longer and be
full of energy; a subtle type of power. My body would feel full
of life or energy and it would "spill" over into the
room or space around me. Whenever I felt this fullnes I would try
to give it away to my wife or son who is five years old. I just
began to lay my hands on them while they were sleeping and would
concentrate on my breath. It was a unique way for me to express
love. My family had no knowledge of this. The first time I tried
it on my wife she was very sick and had called into work to say
she would not be in(first time in years). The next day she called
me at work to say she awakened feeling so well that she just had
to go to work. She said it was the best night of sleep she ever
had. I would have said nothing but two days later she kept
speaking about it. I confessed.

February of 1995, I entered this state for almost five days
straight. The only thing I said to my wife about it was, "I
am learning to walk again". It is as if a light is turned on
in the body. One day after coming out of it I wrote this summary:



Mental and physical repose no matter what I am doing.
Sense of fullness, not energetic but potent or full of
capacity.
The mind is silent or thoughts are observed from a prior
position. Thoughts do not have their usual power to
define experience or launch emotions.
Ignorance and mystery are enjoyed and surrendered into.
Nondifferentiation between self and universe. One total
flowing.
Psychic feeling of being connected to others. Desire to
share energy with others via prayer or by touch.
I wonder how others cannot see or feel this presence. It
is so large!
Attraction: Others seem to want to speak to me and I am
able to really listen(it is as if others come to just
bathe in the energy). I am conscious of the hand of God
that reaches out from nowhere as the energy that flows
out and embraces every living thing. I call these
states non-self generated. They come from nowhere and go
when they will. For some odd reason, I do not seek them.
I do not even think it would matter if it never happened
again. I just ssume that they are side effects of
"letting go and letting God".
To make a long story short, I contacted some students
of Da Free John shortly after the 5 day high. I literally
thought that I was going to permanently enter into this
state shortly and I wanted to be connected with some
people experienced in this. I met with Frans Baker, a
previous doctor from Holland at a seminar he was giving
in Chicago. Frans had just spent six weeks with Da in the
Fiji islands. From my point of view, I wanted his
confirmation and touch. I got both. During the seminar
there was a growing pain in my stomach. As I drove home I
had the sudden insight that I had returned to the event
of 1978. However, I was not in the exalted state. I was
back to face the pain! I was immediately humbled by this
realization. I told God that I embrace this pain forever
with love. Immediately the pain vanished and as if a knot
had been untied, energy exploded from my abdomen and shot
through the top of my head. I wept.
This started a chain of emotional catharsis whereby I
had to face all of my "sins". I could see how I
had failed in certain areas of my life and how I must fix
them. The energy grew and grew and grew and grew. I began
calling various religious groups to get advice. I began
to fade out of awareness and it was hard to cencentrate.
Finally, on good friday of all days, I went to my parents
to sleep so as to not effect my wife. I could hardly
sleep. Though I did not know what would happen, I knew it
would be a great test. I had resisted what God had given
me in 1978 and I was going to see this through. I had
pictures of every God realized person I knew on the
floor. I bowed to them and asked for their guidance. I
tried to go to sleep. I left instructions on my chest in
the event I was found apparently dead. Yikes! I do not
know how the time past but it was dawn when it was over.
I watched every piece of my body and mind dissolve. It
was like a life review that must occur before you pass
away. Memories seemed to weigh the body down. Stress
points in the body seemed to hold unresolved conflicts.
The energy would take care of each thing as it arose.
When there was nothing left of me, I felt two distinct
waves of energy roll over me and then I was gone.
The next thing I knew I was in a brilliant blue realm
of light. I had no body whatsoever; just this
consciousness of this space. It was like the atmosphere
of a planet except that there was no sun. There was no
ground. There was nothing but this dimension. I called
out for a guide but no one came since I wanted to travel
in it. I contemplated its essence. It was the warmest,
open, trusting, loving environment. There is nothing on
earth that can match the happiness and utterly
stress-free nature of that place. I recalled bodily
existence and observed how stressful it really is to live
on earth. I saw the body as "organs of stress".
I considered lif without the body. I seemed to breathe in
the air of this space and my soul ached to live there. I
remembered my wife and son and I knew that if I travelled
fully into this "world" I could not go back. I
began to visualize a white light and concentrated on
that. I was back in my room at my parents. I had
difficulty "re-entering" to say the least but
that is another story.
Why these things happen to me I do not know. I return
though to the principles of ignorance, surrender, trust
and openness. While I have read some information on OBEs
and the cosmic mandala, ultimately everything is just
another experience that must be transcended and
surrendered to God. I feel broken open and vulnerable.
On the humorous side, I avoid all funerals or
discussions on death. I have no sympathy or sadness for
the whole thing. I look forward to the day I go home and
I ask God why it is that I should wait. I wish he would
use me to create his essence on earth but I do not know
how.
Sincerely,
Greg Burkett
e mail : [e-mail]
web page : www.newnorth.net/~unenlite
Thank you for your time.