Phaze
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This is a work of fiction. Names, places, characters and incidents are
either the product of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously,
and any resemblance to any actual persons, living or dead, organizations,
events or locales is entirely coincidental.
Where He Sleeps © 2007 by Augusta Li
All rights reserved under the International and Pan-American Copyright
Conventions. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in
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system, without permission in writing from the publisher.
Cover art © 2007 by Debi Lewis
Phaze is an imprint of Mundania Press, LLC.
www.Phaze.com
Where He Sleeps
A cold mist wound around Lee s ankles as he walked toward the
square, white church. It dampened his jeans and obscured his feet and
ankles. Many miles behind him, the city glowed like an amber
mushroom. Here, only a single bulb illuminated the dark figure hunched
on the church s steps. At Lee s approach, it stood, lengthening into a thin
black line.
 Hey, said a man s voice. His hands reached out for Lee, but Lee
stopped just out of reach at the foot of the concrete steps.
 Jason, Lee said.  What was so important that I had to come all the
way out here? I haven t heard from you in almost six months.
Jason retreated up the three steps and leaned against the white-
washed double doors. The bulb illuminated half of his face, making it
glow smooth, white and surreal. He reached into his jacket pocket for a
pack of smokes and held them out to Lee.
 I quit, he told Jason.
Jason lit up. Smoke wreathed around his head.  It s good to see
you, he said.
 Thanks. Lee dug his toes into the gravel on which he stood. What
had he been thinking, coming out here?  You said I had to come, Jason.
Tell me what s going on. Are you all right? Are you in trouble?
Jason sunk to the step and rested his elbow on his knee.  It s
Halloween, Lee. I couldn t imagine spending it without you. Couldn t
stand it.
With an exasperated sigh, Lee kicked a stone.  That s why you
called me in the middle of the night? Christ, I was worried sick, the way
you sounded! You haven t changed at all! He thrust his hands into his
pockets and turned to go back to his car.
Jason grabbed his wrist, pulling Lee down, making him bend his
waist. His breath smelled of alcohol when he said  Can t we just talk for
a while, Lee, please? An hour?
 I have to work in the morning, Lee said. But Jason s fingers felt
as good twining between his as his cigarette smelled, and he let Jason
guide him back to the steps. Lee even let Jason rest his hand on his thigh
when he sat down.
 Where s your jewelry? he asked, tracing Lee s brow bone with his
finger, letting it stray down Lee s cheek and rest on his lower lip.
 I got a job, Jason. I took out all of my piercings. I grew up.
Jason hadn t. His aquarium-blue bangs fell in front of his blue-gray
eyes the way they had in college. He still wore smudged black liner and
was still beautiful enough to get away with it. Silver rings poked along
the edge of his ear and dangled from his nostril, sparkling coldly in the
artificial light. A stud with a small red gem at the center glittered below
Jason s full bottom lip. He reached behind him and Lee saw that he still
carried a canvas backpack, like a kid. Jason wrapped his arm around
Lee s waist and pressed his cheek to Lee s shoulder, and Lee didn t have
the strength to push him away.
Jason offered Lee cranberry vodka from the bottle. It would have
been responsible to say  No, but he took a swig.
 You always do this to me, Lee said.  Just like when we were at
school. I have things to do and you drag me out to drink in a graveyard.
What is it about you that I can t say  No to? We re not kids any more. I
can t let you influence me like this any more.
Pushing Jason s arms off, Lee slid a foot away, crossing his arms
over his chest to show he meant what he said.
Jason removed the bangs from his eyes with a tiny flick of his head
that Lee remembered well.  Is there somebody else? he asked.
 No, Lee lied. But why couldn t he tell Jason about Brian who
worked in Accounts Receivable?
 Not for me either. I ve slept with some people, mostly when I was
drunk. But I still love you, Lee.
He rubbed his eye with the heel of his hand like a tired child. He
was crying, Lee saw. Crying! He d always had something poetic about
him that made him cry as easily as other people laughed. Lee softened
and wrapped his arms around Jason s head. Without Lee, Jason had
probably been taken advantage of. Trusting naiveté, insecurity, and
craving after affection had always made Jason an easy target for the
unscrupulous. Feeling guilty, Lee tried to tell himself he could no longer
be his ex-boyfriend s protector, any more than he could continue to
finish Jason s math homework so he didn t flunk out of school.
Jason buried his face against his chest and, before Lee could stop it,
they were kissing. At first, he just let his lips graze Lee s neck but, in no
time, Lee s tongue was exploring the familiar territory of his mouth. The
ring he d put in his tongue the better to service Lee clinked against the
back of Lee s teeth. Memories rushed back at the sound and feel of the
metal. Lee s tongue wound around Jason s, as if to tear it from his
mouth. Then he relaxed back against the steps and Jason rolled on top of
him. His hands slid reverently over Lee s stomach and ribs to his chest,
where he tugged on the tiny rings through his nipples.
Lifting his head and smiling, Jason said  You didn t take them all
out. He twisted the left ring, sending a delicious and nostalgic pain
across Lee s chest.  You still like that?
He did. In fact, Lee s body remembered just how much pleasure it
had received at Jason s hands, even if his mind denied it. As his half-
erect penis pressed against Lee s own swollen cock, he recalled Jason
strapping a leather band across its base, not allowing himself to come
until he d pleasured Lee for hours. With dozens of black candles, strong,
delicate chains, shining vinyl restraints, and antique mirrors and knives,
Jason had transformed his dorm room into a combination torture
chamber and Gothic shrine. Lee had been his deity. He d propped Lee
on black satin pillows and tied his arms with a silk scarf. Then he made
Lee come until his stomach muscles ached and semen coated his lean
torso.
While Jason hadn t been his first lover, they d experienced many
novel things together. Lee recalled groping in the dark, blindfolded, for
Jason s silky skin. He remembered all of the new sensations: hot wax,
the paddle, the crop. Most of all he remembered how it felt to seize
Jason s narrow hips, spread him open, and plunge into him. He liked it
rough, Lee remembered, deep and hard. The noises he d made, the
whimpered encouragement, echoed in Lee s mind.
Jason had offered his body for anything Lee wanted to try, acting
privileged to do so. He d always been so eager to please, and with that
shining tragic vein, like silver, that had made Lee want him so
irrationally when they d first met. But had he tainted Lee with the bizarre
pleasures he d offered? Had he ruined Lee for a normal life with normal
love? There was no doubt that Lee was more aroused by the memory of
him than by anything Brian had ever done.
Lee s nails sliced nine red lines from Jason s shoulders to his hips.
A familiar, shuddering inhalation made him thrust against his lover.
Jason s body was so slim that Lee could feel even the most subtle of
muscle relationships. He moved to his smooth stomach and down to the
V of sinew bending toward his groin. Jason s eyes glazed in an almost
religious expression of devotion, and he bunched Lee s shirt around his
neck and took a ring in his teeth. Lee s crotch arched up involuntarily
and found Jason s hand waiting. Jason cupped Lee s balls and rubbed his
straining erection through Lee s trousers. His fingers threatened to break
the seam to reach Lee s flesh. Droplets of moisture dampened the denim
where Lee s cock leaked at the idea of Jason, past and present.
 Jason, stop. Lee struggled to sound like he meant it.  I hate you!
He raised himself on his elbows, and looked down at Lee.
 Why? The delicate skin of his lips had already begun to swell
from their kissing. Circles of pink bloomed on his cheeks, and his light
eyes glimmered.
 Because I can t hate you.
Jason dropped against him, his heart pounding against Lee s own.
Lee reached for the vodka bottle near his left hand and took three long
pulls. Jason did the same. Anything that happened now, they could
blame on the influence of the spirit.
 Do you remember what we used to do out here? Jason whispered
as he stroked Lee s hair. Their cocks, both throbbing and rigid, rubbed
against one another.  Our game? Do you want to play, one last time?
After that, Lee, if you really want, I ll stop calling.
 One last time, Jason. Then you have to let me go.
Standing up, Lee drank again from the bottle, and then dropped his
corduroy jacket on the steps. He peeled away his T-shirt and let it fall
into Jason s lap. The blue-haired young man held it to the side of his face
like a security blanket and closed his eyes. Lee bent and kissed his
forehead before skipping down the steps and into the mist-shrouded
cemetery. Rubbing his arms in the damp cold, he slowly ascended the
bank that ended in an aspen wood. Last Halloween he could have, and
had, found his way through the little graveyard with his hands tied
behind his back. Now, he stumbled, blinking as his eyes adjusted to the
loss of light. Along the way, he shed his pants and left his belt and shorts
hanging from the branches of a holly bush and a leafless lilac.
Lee carried his shoes and socks. The ground squished under his
steps, spewing cold liquid over his toes. Finally, halfway up the hill, he
came to a concrete sarcophagus. Brittle leaves crackled under him when
he stretched across the top, using his pants as a pillow. The stone
scratched his back like gritty ice. This was for Jason; he loved to play
out this scenario, so Lee accepted the discomfort. He waited, looking at
the heavens through a black network of branches. Clouds in the pinks,
reds and purples of injured flesh drifted silently across the sky.
Time passed. The chill breeze rustled the few papery leaves still
clinging to the branches. Somewhere far away, an owl hooted. Lee tried
not to think about those interred around him, or about the tragic brevity
of youth and life. Eventually Jason came up the hill, his boots swishing
through the leaves. His sure steps told Lee that Jason had spent enough
time in the churchyard over the last year to recall the winding little paths
between the stones and bracken. Lee wondered if he d been alone. He
closed his eyes.
Jason s hands landed warm on Lee s ribs, felt warm and soft as they
moved across his stomach, hips and thighs. Lee struggled not to move, to
breathe so shallowly that the rising of his chest was hardly noticeable.
Jason knelt down beside the stone box. Lee smelled the cranberry
vodka and tobacco as Jason breathed near his face.
 How beautiful, he whispered.  Here is where he sleeps, the one I
love. The only one. I ve looked for him so long, and now, here he
sleeps. He brushed a strand of hair away from Lee s neck and kissed it,
lips trailing from Lee s collarbone to the lobe of his ear.
 He s perfect and smooth and still, pale in the moonlight as these
statues. But I m lonely for his company. How will I wake him?
Lee smiled inside but outwardly stayed still. Jason s mouth moved
down his body, suckling each of his nipples in turn. The moisture left
after he removed his lips felt like it froze. Lee did not shiver. He did not
twitch as Jason gently licked the ticklish place on the side of his waist.
Only the jerk of his cock, the way it strained toward Jason and his expert
ministrations, could Lee not suppress. This was their game.
Next he pushed Lee s legs gently open so that his knees fell on
either side of the stone coffin. His damp balls, huddled to his body,
must ve steamed when the night air hit it, but Jason was there to warm
them with his breath.
 I hope it s not wrong to love him while he sleeps, he said into the
crease between Lee s thigh and groin.  I can t resist him.
He licked slowly from just above Lee s ass to the tuft of hair above
his cock. Then he lifted his mouth and started again from the beginning.
Warm lips, and then a velvety tongue traced the underside of Lee s cock,
making him dribble. Jason lapped at the sensitive groove on the
underside of Lee s glans, the ring through his tongue stimulating it, and
then let Lee s head slip into his mouth. He sucked hard, tongue circling
furiously, gripping Lee at the base where his shaft met his triangle of
hair. Stopping just long enough to wet his fingers, Jason s head plunged
back down, engulfing Lee s length in the silken heat of his throat. A
groan of appreciation vibrated Lee s penis and reverberated through his
belly and chest.
Saliva moistened Lee s crack. Jason s body blocked the damp flesh
from the frigid wind, and his finger circled the tight ring of Lee s anus.
As hard as he tried to stay still, when Jason s fingers wriggled inside him
Lee s back arched, his hands gripped the edge of the stone lid, and his
muscles squeezed Jason s fingers like they d never let go. Pressure on
his gland milked more pre-come from Lee s quivering cock. Jason s
hand slid in and out of him, slowly, teasingly, in time with the rhythm of
his mouth. Lee wanted to moan, to scream, but bit his lip to keep silent.
He was ready to beg for a release, but Jason lifted his head.
He stretched across Lee, warming him with his body, comforting
him with his solidity and weight. Lee heard him digging in his pocket.
Then he heard a metallic click.
 Your pleasure is my only happiness. Let me live to serve you. I m
lost without you. Please come back to me!
Please wake up, he used to say. Please wake up, not&
Jason slid his two fingers into Lee s mouth, pressing down on his
tongue and parting his teeth. They tasted of where they d been a moment
ago: of salty perspiration, semen, and cigarettes. His other hand left
Lee s body and cradled his ass cheek. He pried Lee s mouth open and
pressed his wrist against Lee s lips. Warm liquid trickled down his
throat, leaving a rusty taste on his palate. He would be allowed to wake
up now.
Lee stretched theatrically.  Why have you come into my tomb and
woken me from my eternal slumber? Lee giggled a little as he recited
his part, as he always did. It made Jason smile, as always.
He slid off Lee and Lee sat up. Jason dropped to his knees, wrapped
his arms around Lee s waist and buried his head in Lee s lap. His wrist
left a bloody smear across Lee s thigh.
 I dream about you every night. I wake up and feel the place beside
me in the bed, and you re not there. We re meant to be together, can t
you see? Give me another chance and I can make you happy.
This speech had never been part of their game.  You will be
punished for disturbing me, Lee began, but his heart wasn t in it. The
familiar taste of Jason s blood lingered in his mouth. He was very cold.
 Jason, just hold me.
Jason climbed up behind him and wrapped Lee in his limbs. His
knees crossed in front of Lee s stomach and his erection ground against
the small of Lee s back.  Forever? he whispered.
 I can t think about forever, Lee answered.  Just now. For
Halloween.
He turned and straddled Jason, drawing his thighs to his chest and
bracing his knees on Jason s shoulders. Their cocks stabbed against each
other, Lee s bare and Jason s concealed by his black pants. They kissed
so violently that they barely noticed falling off of the freezing tomb, onto
the wet ground, into the corpses of leaves. Nothing else warm moved in
the isolated burial ground. No sound but the scrape of leaves against
stone, the smack of eager lips and bodies meeting, and the groans of
longing and fulfillment threatened to disturb those who rested below Lee
and Jason s fragile, interlocked forms.
 ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Before becoming an author, Augusta Li studied Classical
literature, Romanticism, and art. She s worked as a theatrical set
designer and a Renaissance mask-maker. Her stories have
appeared on various websites and in anthologies. She also writes
yaoi manga scripts. Augusta s blood type is A, so she s
contemplative, loyal and patient, but sometimes aloof. In her spare
time she enjoys industrial music, dancing, wine, exploring old
cemeteries, and the company of pale, pretty humans. Visit her at
www.myspace.com/augustali or www.augustali.com, or just keep
an eye out for her at Goth clubs in the Northeast.
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