Are you someone who you think is a little too dependent? Well, you can become independent. Independence is when you don't need as much help from others. There are many benefits from being independent. For one thing, you'll have more freedom to do stuff. Another benefit is that you can have some quality privacy time.The world is a cruel place. You make friends and lose friends, but in the end, the one person you always have to depend on is yourself. Read on to learn how to embrace your independence.
Steps
Accept yourself. You cannot build a strong, independent you if you can't live with yourself. Accept your body, your personality, your opinions, your choices, your preferences, and your life story. Do not say things against yourself. Everyone can be strong enough. Everyone has put up with something, proving their strength. Put behind you your mistakes and learn from them. Make an effort to be a better you.
Accept the world. Independent people are not vain, nor do they believe the entire human race is cruel. Independent people are those who see the world, with its good and its bad, and consciously choose to be strong for themselves and others. You are not independent because you do not trust anyone. You are not independent because you think highly of yourself. Master this technique. Learn to accept the world, and decide to be strong.
Become emotionally independent. Chances are, you depend on many people for emotional support. It may be your parents, a boy or girl friend, or good close friends. Although it is possible to continue to depend on these people for the rest of your life, it is in your best interest to realize that everyone in your life that you depend on will one day no longer be around. Some will move away, some will stop talking to you, and they all will eventually die. The only person that who will always be with you is you. If you depend on yourself for support, you will never be let down.
Rely upon yourself for the motivation and the drive. Other people do not have and will never have the same vested interest in your success. Motivation and success is a function of habit. You must break your bad habit of procrastination, and replace it with one of good planning. The most successful people in the world aren't always the brightest, or the best looking, but no matter what other talents or gifts they have been blessed with, they have underpinning their self esteem a series of victories over tasks both large and small. This is how you learn anything in school, gain confidence dating, and everything else in life.
Be your own hero. Something people do too often is create a rolemodel for themselves. Do not look up to anyone. Be your own rolemodel. Aim to be yourself, and be the best you you can be. If you can't look up to yourself, you can't be independent.
Be there. You don't have to throw away your friends to be independent. In fact, your independence is reinforced with good friends. When your friend needs someone to talk to, be there for them. Be trustworthy. Do not gossip or tell anyone about your friends secrets or personal matters. Even if they didn't say anything about it. Be a strong person for your friends and loved ones. It not only shows you're selfless, but pretty soon you'll learn how to deal with any situation that comes your way because of your friends' experiences.
Become financially independent. It will be difficult because parents have a natural instinct to provide for us. Just politely decline when they offer financial help. It is tempting to depend on others financially, but before you experience independence, you must be independent. Secure your finances. True independent living relies on financial freedom. Pay your own bills, drive your own car, sign a personal check for your rent. If you don't have the money for these expenses, save aggressively. Not only will you gain financial freedom with your savings, but the money you keep to yourself will give you an incredible feeling of independence and motivation.
Don't settle. For anything. Not comfort, ease, or to "be nice". Work hard at everything you do. Defend your opinions. And, for you girls, don't let a man feel he has to pamper you. If you're capable of doing something good, do it. So long as it doesn't have a bad effect, you should do it. That doesn't mean do absolutely everything, but you shouldn't feel it's necessary for people to do things for you that you could do for yourself. Work your best and hardest to leave people saying "That person doesn't rely on anyone to do things for them. What a strong, independent person.".
Leave your friends and family at home. This is a difficult step on the journey to independent living, but you must start doing things on your own. You do not need two girlfriends to escort you to the bathroom at a bar. You do not need to drive with someone to the restaurant, because you can meet them there. Go shopping alone, spend at least one or two evenings a week by yourself. Work on activities that force you to lead, not follow.
Plan your day around you, not anyone else. People who are most dependent on others allow their worlds to revolve around the needs of other people or other things. Plan your day according to your own schedule--make a list of what you want to do, what you need to do and what you should have already done.
Realize and accept that life sometimes seems not fair. Our parents cared for us so much that they did everything in their power to raise us in a fair and just environment. The real world does not function on that principle which is a big problem today. The rules in the world usually protect either the majority (which you may not be a part of) or people with money and power. You will be treated badly for all sorts of unfair things: your skin color, your intelligence, your height, your weight, how much money you have, your opinions, your gender, and just about everything else that makes you who you are. You have to be happy in spite of that. Sometimes life is tough, but be the better of society, don't get mad, get even and when I say even I mean even and not 10 times what you deserve.
Try not to care what others think. This is the most important thing about being independent. If you depend on others to tell you if your music is cool, or if your outfit is cute, you won't be very happy! As long as you like it - nothing else matters!
Don't gossip. You're just meddling and messing in other people's lives, which isn't good for either of you. Part of being independent is standing up for others. If you hear a rumor, stand up for the person being offended.
Be yourself. Just because somebody wants to pay $60 for a shirt doesn't mean you have to. Dress how you want to dress, and say what you want to say. If you like to act crazy, by all means go for it! A good thing to remember is that good taste and style does not have to cost money - it is something that is innate or learned but can make good of anything with a little know-how.
Love everyone. Part of being independent is trying to love people no matter what they think about you. Don't think of them as "losers" or "preps". Think of them as people.
Let people love you. Let others love you and let it in an open heart.
Start on a career path. Experiment with different careers and find the one that you enjoy most. If money makes you happy, be an investment banker or start a small business. If you like kids, be a teacher. If you like being an expert, be a lawyer, professor or consultant. If you enjoy talking to people, be a salesperson or go into the services industry. The majority of students end up in careers unrelated to their major. Some people do not get far in formal education and end up millionaires. Working in a career that you enjoy is a part of becoming a mature person.
Have a passion in life. Something you are devoted to, whether it is a sport, girlfriend/boyfriends, music, a band, a form of art/dance, religion. Something that you do constantly that takes up some time. Video games and playing Barbie all day aren't the best value out there. (This includes wasting your time on the Internet)
Don't just think that you're the best; prove it to yourself! Your opinion matters the most in your own motivation, but you know when you're pulling your own leg as to your accomplishments. It's far easier to just start dealing with your responsibilities and knowing, with an incredibly strong epistemic justification (by which I mean, you KNOW this) that you can handle what comes up because you have before, than trying to know you can tackle it because you're all warm and fuzzy inside. Warm and fuzzy accomplishes very little, but neither does beating yourself up.
Sign up for a bank account. Most banks offer a checking and savings account together, in one convenient package. Some companies, institutions, and organizations will require you to have at least a checking account (some only pay employees via direct deposit). Money you earn that isn't necessary for your own expenses should be put into a savings account until you're ready to be independent.
Save money. Save as much as reasonably possible. This will help you create an emergency fund, since life can be unpredictable at times. Improve the quality of your life by putting aside a set amount of money each month. There are such things as accidents, which can occur when you least expect it.
Dump the bad influences in your life. Don't break friendships unless absolutely necessary. Learn to keep a healthy distance. Even if those friends are "totally cool," they may only hold you back from breaking out on your own.
Take things lightly. Rome wasn't built in a day, and no one is completely independent. This isn't a hard-and-fast guide that you must stick to. If you don't want to do something, don't do it. This is here to tell you how to be independent, if you want to be, and is in no way here to say "Be independent and only independent. Wouldn't want to get close to anyone. Follow this as strictly as a manual on how to be a billionaire.". Good luck on your road to being independent.