Ryan Lewis
8-96
THE ULTIMATE PET
A pet rock can be as comforting to me as any canine or feline. Some would
believe that a man's best friend is a dog. However, living in a confined two bedroom
apartment, I do not have the luxury or permission for a forty pound dog to be plopping
around. This is why I have found comfort in my pet rock. A pet rock can replace many of
the duties, such as a companionship, I can get from a pet dog or cat.
When I go shopping for a pet, I look for the appropriate size and color to meet
my needs. Some people like big animals, some small. Some animals come in black,
brown, white, yellow; yet some are spotted. The same goes for my rock. When I went
"shopping" for my rock, I didn't want one too small, for it would get lost like a gerbil. I
didn't want one too big like a Labrador, for I would trip over it every time I walked into
the room. I needed a pet the size of a fat barn cat, like the ones back home in northeast
Iowa.
On my walk to the river before I left for college, I found many rocks within my
size range. I couldn't decide which one I should pick, but then on the side of the muddy
bank, partly submerged in the water, lay a shinny, sandy, orange stone. It called out for
me to pick it to take home instead of the others, like a puppy does from a pet store
window. When I held the rock in my hands, I knew it was the one I wanted, and the rock
that I needed.
Now as for a name. That was easy. How does one name his cat or dog, bird or
fish? Every pet has a name, so they're not so hard to come with. I picked "Sparky".
Some people may be thinking, "A rock....what kind of a companion can a rock
be?" Just like a cat or dog, it will sit with me and listen to all of my problems and worries.
The rock won't talk back or give unwanted advice. My world feels like a better place after
a conversation with my pet rock. Best of all, he will love you no matter what words or
force you put on him. All of ones anxieties can be released.
A pet rock may have even more advantages than the common pet dog or cat.
There isn't a toilet training process; it won't eat my furniture or shed on my couch. The
rock won't beg at the dinner table, fart when I have company, or give my boss a slimmy
kiss on his brand new pants. What more can you ask for in a pet?
As well, a pet rock can do tricks too. It can sit and stay; it can roll over if you
give it a gentle kick; it can play dead and freeze.
The best thing about having a pet rock is that there aren't any veterinary bills, no
food expenses, and the rock can't breed, so there will never be any "little" rocks laying
around. Yes, dogs and cats are good pets, but can't a rock be a good pet too?
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