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 Putting It All Together!
 The Proven Formula
for Turning a Friend
into a Lover, Every
Single Time
2 ©Sinns of Attraction 2011
Table of Contents
INTRODUCTION ....................................................................................... 4
PUTTING IT ALL TOGETHER ....................................................................... 5
The five best tactics for social comfort:................................................................................................ 6
Learning How To Use Questions ......................................................................................................... 10
Learn to Ground Yourself .................................................................................................................... 12
Enthusiasm .......................................................................................................................................... 14
Maintaining Conversation Ratio ......................................................................................................... 15
Teasing ................................................................................................................................................. 16
Building Attraction .............................................................................................................................. 17
Pre-selection........................................................................................................................................ 18
Frame Control...................................................................................................................................... 18
Being Non-Reactive ............................................................................................................................. 20
Emotional Fluidity ............................................................................................................................... 22
Pre-selection........................................................................................................................................ 23
Role Playing ......................................................................................................................................... 24
Adding Likeness ................................................................................................................................... 25
The Five Best Tactics of Likeness ........................................................................................................ 26
School or Work Connections............................................................................................................... 27
Food and Entertainment ..................................................................................................................... 27
Local Celebrities .................................................................................................................................. 28
Connecting........................................................................................................................................... 29
Pop Culture .......................................................................................................................................... 29
Section Recap ...................................................................................................................................... 30
CONCLUSION ......................................................................................... 31
3 ©Sinns of Attraction 2011
INTRODUCTION
Welcome to the final e-book in the 5-Minute Chemistry Program 5-Minute
Chemistry Part 3 Putting it all Together.
Hi, I'm Jon Sinn.
This program is going to teach you how to never run out of things to say
ever again, as well as how to create instant chemistry with any woman
anywhere. It's so exciting! 5-Minute Chemistry is literally going to change your
life!
I know a lot of you have emailed me over the years, saying,  I really am
struggling with getting out there to talk to women because I just run out of things
to say. I started the conversation and then it just trails off and I end up feeling
even worse about myself than I did before . So if that s you, in the next section,
I've got you covered. It's going to be full of information on how to never run out
of things to say ever, ever, ever again. That will be a thing of the past very, very
soon.
In this last e-book, I'm going to teach you the tactics and techniques that will
allow you to make chemistry with any woman no matter how little you two have
in common. That s something you are really going to want to pay attention to
because I'm going to teach you how to use the formula that I'm going to reveal
to you in this section today.
I'm super excited that you ve made it all the way through this program, and
it's now time to put it all together.
In this e-book, we are going to go over the exact steps to creating chemistry
in five minutes or less. In this e-book, I'm going to break down the five best
tactics for social comfort, the five best tactics for attraction and likeness, and
how to transition between the three. So, by the end of this e-book, you will be
armed and ready to create chemistry with any woman, anywhere.
So far, we've gone over the inner game of chemistry in our first e-book,
where we defined social comfort, attraction, and likeness. And in the second e-
book, we talked about how to never run out of things to say ever again, which is
a skill you're definitely going to need if you want to create chemistry in five
minutes.
So by the end of this e-book, you will know the inner game of creating
chemistry, how it all works, and the actual scientific stuff that s going on
psychologically. You ll know how to never run out of things to say, so that you
don t end your conversations too quickly because you're not sure of what to say
4 ©Sinns of Attraction 2011
or what to do next. And you're going to now learn the tactics and techniques for
social comfort, attraction and likeness, as well as how to transition between the
three of those. Very exciting stuff! A lot of content in this e-book, you may want
to read it a couple of times to make sure you get everything in it.
There is a very simple formula for chemistry, and once you learn it, and you
learn the tactics and techniques to create it, you will be able to create it at will
anytime you want. Let s get started!
PUTTING IT ALL TOGETHER
Alright, in this e-book section, I'm going to teach you exactly how to create
chemistry in five minutes or less.
So we are going to talk tactics, techniques, process, chemistry that s all
coming together in our next section. You will definitely want to read it, because
I'm going to teach you how to take everything we've learned in the last two
sections, and put it together.
I'm super excited that you ve made it all the way through this program, and
it's now time to put it all together.
We are going to go over the exact steps to creating chemistry in five minutes
or less. In this section, I'm going to break down the five best tactics for social
comfort, the five best tactics for attraction and likeness, and how to transition
between the three. So, by the end of this section, you will be armed and ready
to create chemistry with any woman, anywhere.
So far, we've gone over the inner game of chemistry in our first section,
where we defined social comfort, attraction, and likeness. And in the second
section, we talked about how to never run out of things to say ever again, which
is a skill you're definitely going to need if you want to create chemistry in five
minutes.
By the end of this section, you will know the inner game of creating
chemistry, how it all works, and the actual scientific stuff that s going on
psychologically. You ll know how to never run out of things to say, so that you
don t end your conversations too quickly because you're not sure of what to say
or what to do next. And you're going to now learn the tactics and techniques for
social comfort, attraction and likeness, as well as how to transition between the
three of those. Very exciting stuff! A lot of content in this section, you may want
to read it a couple of times to make sure you get everything in it.
Alright, so let's start with social comfort.
5 ©Sinns of Attraction 2011
We already talked about what social comfort is. It's the idea of making
people comfortable with you, and the best way to make people comfortable with
you is by being friendly and neutral or non-threatening. That means you don t
need to be aloof, you don t need to try to be too cool, you don t need to be rude,
you don t need to be very interested right away, you don t need to hit on the
girls right away. You want to start in social comfort by being friendly and neutral.
Once you ve started a conversation, it's time to transition immediately to
social comfort. It's very, very important that you don t try to go straight to
attraction, that you don t try to go straight to likeness, or qualification, or
comfort, or any of the things you read on the Internet. Once you ve started a
conversation, it's time to get in to social comfort and just show her that we are
fun, we are neutral, we are not trying to hit on her right away, and that she
wants to be in this conversation.
The end goal for social comfort is not to get the girl attracted to you, the end
goal of social comfort is just to get the girl committed to the conversation or
hooked, in the pick up vernacular. That just simply means that she would rather
continue having this conversation, rather than have you leave. She is happier
that you're staying and talking to her, than she would be if you left or you didn t
talk to her anymore. That s it. It doesn t mean she's attracted to you, it doesn t
even mean she's interested, it just means she's interested in the conversation.
THE FIVE BEST TACTICS FOR SOCIAL COMFORT:
·ð Transitioning Learning how to transition off your opener, as well as
between topics.
·ð Learning how to use questions Questions and statements are a very
misunderstood part of social comfort. A lot of guys think they should never
ask a question.
·ð Learning how to ground yourself Learning how to talk about yourself. You
have to talk about yourself in all aspects of pick up, as well as attraction, but
especially so in the first three to five minutes. Talking about yourself in the
right way is really helpful.
·ð Learning how to be enthusiastic Learning how to get into what you're
saying is a big part of social comfort. Call it delivery, call it attitude, call it
charisma, but enthusiasm is a big part of social comfort.
·ð Using a correct conversational ratio There is a lot of bad information out
there about conversational ratio, I want to set the record straight about how
much talking you need to be doing versus how much talking she is going to
be doing.
6 ©Sinns of Attraction 2011
Alright, so now, we are going to jump into each of these five tactics. We're
going to assume that you ve started a conversation, and now we are going to
teach you how to build social comfort quickly and easily.
TRANSITIONING
The first topic is transitioning transitioning is easily the most important skill
of social comfort. You must transition the conversation forward and keep it
focused on the topics you want to talk about. So the first transition is going to
come right after you start a conversation. No matter what type of opener you
use, whether you made something up on the spot, whether you ve used an
opener every day for the last 10 years, whether it's an opinion opener, a direct
opener,  or whatever the opener is immediately after the opener is finished,
you need to transition into another conversation. The goal of transitioning is you
want to go from your opener, or from your topic, to a normal conversation or a
conversation that ranges over a wide variety of topics in a normal, natural way.
You don t want to have those awkward pauses when you get through an
entire subject and it's like,  Oh, what do we talk about now? So to keep you
from having that awkward and not so fun interaction, I want to teach you the
three best ways to transition. These can be used either off your opener or they
can be used when you're already on a topic of conversation.
ASK A SET UP QUESTION
The number one best way to transition, in my opinion, is asking what's called
a set up question. A set up question is basically what politicians do all the time.
If you ve ever noticed, politicians, when they want to talk about something, it's
very rare that they will just outright start to talk about it. Instead, they will ask a
question.
Such as,  Have you guys heard about the rumors that I want to raise
taxes? , and then they ll proceed to talk about whatever they want to talk
about raising taxes or not raising taxes. We can do the same thing. For
example, if I start a conversation with a girl and I want to talk about my niece, I
might say something like,  Do you have nieces or nephews yet? And the girl
might say yes or no, it doesn t really matter. The whole point of a set up
question is that all I'm trying to do is introduce the topic. I'm not really that
concerned with what her answer is. If she has nieces, or if she doesn t have
nieces, I'm going to talk about the same things.
The only problem with a set up question as transition is that you have to
know what you want to talk about. That s why, in the last section, I talked about
making those lists of topics of things you like talking about, topics you think
women are interested in.
7 ©Sinns of Attraction 2011
It's really important you have those topics because otherwise you don t have
anything to ask as a set up question. So if you don t have anything to talk about,
then asking a set up question isn't going to help you, and you're just going to
basically fall into the  asking questions trap that a lot of guys get into, such as,
 Where are you from? What do you do? Where do you go to college? Cool do
you want to hang out some time? We don t want to do that. Asking a set up
question is a specific tactic; it's done to get to a subject.
If I'm talking to a girl about something I want to buy for my niece, let's say I'm
in a store shopping, and I want to get off the subject of talking about buying
something for my niece, which may or may not be true, I can ask a question
like,  Do you ever do karaoke? . Then I can tell a story about karaoke, or I can
talk about karaoke.
You don t have to be super logical with your set up question, but you do
need to give an excuse. The same way that we need to give an excuse when
we move a girl, we need an excuse for just asking a set up question.
If I ask a random question like,  Do you ever do karaoke? I might say,  You
look like a singer, that s why I asked. You just want to have  The reason I
asked is... when you're asking a set up question, in case it is out of the blue, or
weird, or random; you want to just have,  The reason I asked is ready, and
usually you can just make a compliment there. That s the best thing to do,
because then people will be happy that you're complimenting them.
USE A PHRASAL TRANSITION
The second way to transition is by using a phrasal transition. A phrasal
transition is simply a phrase that connects two otherwise unconnected subjects.
Some examples of phrasal transitions are,  That s just like when... ,  That
reminds me of... ,  Check this out, I have to tell you about the time... ,  Oh, my
God, that reminds me... , etc.
When you're using a phrasal transition, the key is to just say it. You don t
need to actually look for two subjects that are actually reminded of each other.
No one is ever going to be like,  Wait, we were just talking about psychology
and you said that reminded you of traveling through Europe, how are those two
in common?
Phrasal transitions are great because they are so simple, because they
instantly shift the subject. I could be talking to a girl about psychology and I
could say,  Oh, my God, you know, that s really interesting that you're studying
psychology at UCLA, that reminds me of when I was traveling through Europe, I
met a psych major who was really interesting because she was actually
8 ©Sinns of Attraction 2011
traveling around doing case studies on different people...  I'm just making
stuff up right now but you see how easy it is.
If we are talking about fashion, the girl might be a model, and she's telling
me how she moved to L.A., and I'm going to be like,  That reminds me my ex-
girlfriend she moved to New York to do runway fashion and when we got there,
it was such a culture shock because people are really different in New York
than L.A., and now I think I'm almost too New York for L.A. Again, now I'm on
the subject of New York and L.A., and how people are different, which is one of
my favorite subjects in the entire world to talk about.
Phrasal transitions are really easy. Because of this, people sometimes want
to make things more difficult for themselves by not using them.  That reminds
me of ,  That s just like when ,  Check this out, I have to tell you about ,  Oh, my
God  use phrasal transitions, they're very, very effective and super easy. You
don t need to make things harder than they actually have to be.
MAKE AN OBSERVATION
The third way to transition is by making an observation. Learning to make
observations is one of the most powerful skills for social comfort, attraction,
social skills, whatever you want to call it.
Being observant is a very powerful, powerful skill to develop, and it's
something that everyone reading this should make an effort at to become a
more observant person. And the way you become a more observant person is
that you start blurting out the thoughts you have in your head. You stop filtering
things as much and thinking like,  Oh, I don t want to say that because it's
weird , or  People might not be into this  stop that.
Now observations as transitions can be real or they can be routines. So, for
example, I might be talking to a girl and if she's really tall, I might say,  You're
really tall , and then I have a routine that I got from Mystery about tall mothers.
Or, I might see a tall girl, but she's also really tanned, and I may be talking to
her, and I might be like,  You're really tanned, did you just get back from the
beach or something? So they can be real or they can be faked.
In general, we want to develop the skill of being observant. What does the
girl's clothing say about her? Is she dressed in a business suit? Is she dressed
glamorously, is she dressed sluttish, is she dressed like a hippie, is she dressed
like a punk rocker? Learn to start looking for things beyond  she's hot, I want to
talk to her , which I think is the level of thought that a lot of guys put in. So start
looking for clothing, energy, attitude, hair, jewelry and environment.
9 ©Sinns of Attraction 2011
In general, when you're making observations, they're going to be about one
of three things. They are either going to be about the environment, about the
girl, or about the people in the environment. So when worst comes to worst, you
can always make comments about other people around, by making
observation, to keep a conversation going.
So again, transitioning is the most important skill of social comfort. You must
be able to transition between multiple subjects. You must be aware when
subjects are getting tired. When you're starting to be less enthusiastic about
certain subjects, it's time to start transitioning. It's almost always better to
transition and get to a new subject earlier, than it is later, in my experience.
LEARNING HOW TO USE QUESTIONS
Now let's talk about using questions. But before I talk about using questions,
I want to talk about how questions are viewed in the pickup community. They're
viewed as the kiss of death, and there is a very good reason behind that.
Almost every pick up company out there basically makes fun of average
guys, and says that this is how average guys try to pick up girls,  Hey, what's
your name? Where are you from? Do you have a boyfriend? What do you do for
fun? Where did you go to college? Where do you hang out? Do you want to go
to dinner?
And there is something to that, but there is actually a deeper, rooted
psychological reason why question-based pickups don t work, and it has
nothing to do with the fact that they're lame, or the fact that everyone is doing it,
or the fact that they are all the same. It has to do with something called the law
of reciprocity.
The law of reciprocity basically states that because humans are not well
equipped to survive in the world, meaning that we don t have claws, or fangs, or
anything like that, we had to become social animals. We had to bond together
in order to build cities, in order to be safe from saber tooth tigers, etc.
What happened was, human beings have psychologically become
programmed with something called the law of reciprocity, which basically states
that if you do something for someone first  if you give someone some
information, if you give someone a gift, if buy someone a drink they are going
to be more likely to give something back to you.
And the reason is it's pretty simple. If someone does something for us, that
is a good sign that they have our best interest at heart, which is going to make
us more inclined to do stuff for them. If someone just tries to take, and take, and
10 ©Sinns of Attraction 2011
take, then we don t like that. So because of this, we can actually explain why
question-based pickups don t work based on sound psychological theory.
So when you approach a girl, it's a cold approach. She doesn t know
anything about you, you don t know anything about her and you just try to get
her to give you information  What's your name? Oh, I'm Jon. But you're giving
her information secondly; you are reciprocating as opposed to her going first.
 Where are you from? What do you do? Where did you go to college?
She is being asked to contribute first in the hopes that she'll get something
back, as opposed to the law of reciprocity which states that if we want
information or a gift from someone, we have to give something to them first.
Question-based pick up violates the law of reciprocity by asking the girl to give
us information without us giving her that information first. So, based on that, we
can learn that the best way to ask questions is by asking them after we already
give the girl the information.
For example, if you're going to introduce yourself, it's much better to say,
 Hey, I'm Jon, what's your name? , than it is to say,  What's your name? I'm
Jon , and then wait for her to introduce herself.
It's much better if I want to ask a girl the question about what s the most
adventurous thing she's ever done, it's better for me to talk about something
adventurous. I've gone first, so that she feels that she's getting the law of
reciprocity happening. I ve told her about an adventurous story, now she's going
to feel more inclined to tell me about an adventurous story.
That s the reason that question-based pickups don t work, they violate the
law of reciprocity. If we can cling to the idea or reciprocity and give information
about ourselves before we ask a question, we will have a much better response
to our socializing.
In general, there is nothing wrong with questions, you just have to make sure
that you've given information before you ask your questions. Think of asking a
question as a request for something. So if you haven't given any value, any
information, to the girl first, she will be less inclined to answer. Even if she does,
she's going to start to lose interest because you are violating this very basic
psychological rule.
If you are going to ask questions, you will want to use them in a specific way,
and in social comfort there are three general purposes we want to use a
question for. We talked about the first one, to set up a story or topic of
conversation as a transition.  Hey, have you guys ever been to the Hollywood
sign ,  Oh, check this out.  What's your favorite movie?  Oh, my favorite movie
I saw yesterday was... Another reason to ask a question is to tease.
11 ©Sinns of Attraction 2011
Sometimes when I blank out and I'm trying to meld social comfort, I will just
ask a social question like,  Where are you from? Where do you go to college?
And then I will tease the girl on her answer? So if I'm out in Hollywood and I
say,  Where are you from? And the girl says,  I'm from Orange County , and I
think:  mental note, do not date this girl, Orange County girls are trouble. Or if
I'm out during the daytime and I meet a girl and she says she's from the Valley,
I might think:  Oh, Valley people are bad news. Or if she says she's a tourist,
she's from England, I might think:  English girls are bad news. But I'm asking a
question specifically to tease here, specifically to break that social comfort and
to start the attraction-building process. I'm not just going to ask a question to get
information. I'm never going to be like,  Where are you from oh, cool.
Another way is to relate and build commonalities; that s kind of the opposite
side of the coin. If I feel like this girl doesn t need to be teased, but I do need to
relate to her and build commonalities, I might say,  Where are you from? and
she may say,  Oh, Colorado. And I would say,  Oh, you know I go out to
Colorado once a year for snowboarding, I stay in Breckenridge. I love the
people out there, they're really nice. Building commonality, showing her we
have things in common, likeness. That s a likeness tactic; likeness kind of
blends through all the stuff.
Teasing is an attraction tactic, that s why I don t teach a linear method,
because all these things blend together and that s why you can do it all in 5
minutes, because you don t have to go from step to step to step. Everything
kind of blends and it's cyclical. Sometimes you are building social comfort, then
it can hook and you're building attraction, then you are adding some likeness,
then you go back to social comfort and then it all kind of goes around in a swirl,
until you get some interest from the girl.
So again, don t be afraid of questions. Questions are a viable form of
socializing. Just make sure you keep in mind the law of reciprocity, that you
don t just ask a question to ask a question. You do them for a specific purpose,
usually to set up a story or topic of conversation to transition; to tease or to
relate and build commonalities.
LEARN TO GROUND YOURSELF
Alright, now we are going to talk about grounding yourself. The easiest way
to talk about yourself is through what is called grounding. One of the things that
everyone comes to realize - as they're practicing and approaching women - is
that you need to talk about yourself.
There are basically only three things you can talk about. You can talk about
yourself, you can talk about the girl, and you can talk about the environment.
Everything else is going to be somewhat related to you, to her or to where you
12 ©Sinns of Attraction 2011
are. So grounding is the way of talking about yourself that takes stories from
your real life, and gives the girls information about you that they need to know.
This is where we are going to show how our experiences and our life shaped
our behavior, and how that s going to affect our interaction with the girls. So for
example, I might say,  Since I grew up with sisters, I've always been on the
other side of the fence when it comes to understanding women, so that s one of
the reasons why I have so many female friends, and I'm not afraid of meeting
girls. On a cold approach, I'll always say this because it gives a context to my
approach.
If I'm approaching a girl in a grocery store and I'm being very confident or
very comfortable around her, I want to explain that there is a reason for that,
that I'm not just doing this to get laid; that there is a reason that I'm comfortable
around women. Another thing I might say is,  You know, I wanted to be a writer
when I grew up, and because of that, I have really strong opinions, and I always
express them, so I'll probably say something that will offend you in the next,
like, 20 minutes, but it will be funny. Again, I want to explain my personality.
We want to explain our personalities without making it seem like we are
qualifying ourselves.
Without making it seem like we are trying to impress the girl. Without making
it seem like we are giving them all this information that they haven't asked for,
and that s why grounding is really important. Because it touches on key points
from your past, it fills in the information.
You have to remember that on a cold approach, girls don t know anything
about you. If you really wanted to, you could lie and create a whole fake
persona, and tell women all this stuff about you that isn't true, and convince
them to sleep with you. I did it for a couple years when I was working for
Mystery Method, but you don t have to. But what you do have to do is, you do
have to create a context for who you are. You do have to explain to them why
you are the way you are.
So if you are a shy guy, that s not something that you have to go against.
You don t have to become some party frat boy, but you do need to ground why
you're shy.
You might say,  You know, when I was growing up I was always really
focused on studying and getting into a good school, and then getting into a real
career, so it always takes me a little bit longer to open up and be really social
with people, but once I do, my friends will tell you I'm crazy. , or  my friends will
tell you that I'm.... this, that or the other, but again, you want to explain your
personality. You will want to ground yourself so that she understands who you
are.
13 ©Sinns of Attraction 2011
Grounding comes from the idea of Mystery that you ground your identity.
That you tell her how you became who you are and what you do, and usually
that s involved in some form of intricate lying about being a deejay or a model, a
company owner, a magician, or whatever. But this is real. This is where we are
taking it and applying it to our personality.
If you're outgoing, if you're positive, if you're nice, if you're shy, if you're
bold whatever your personality is like, (and hopefully you have an idea of
what you're like as a person, if not ask your friends), you will want to ground it
and talk about yourself, and talk about who you are and what they can expect.
One of the things about grounding is that it preps people for how to deal with
you. Another thing I'll say sometimes, and this is not in the first five minutes, but
I'll say something like,  I'm totally the type of guy who will hit on you in a grocery
store. So don t flirt, because again, I'm grounding myself.  I'm the type of guy
who...  that's what grounding is about. It's about explaining the type of
person you are in a way that s interesting and that fills in the background.  I
grew up with sisters.  I wanted to be a writer when I grew up.  When I was
younger I went to this kind of school.
Ground yourself so that they know what they're dealing with, that s the part
of grounding that s really, really important. And grounding yourself is valuable in
attraction as well as comfort, because this is really the best way to talk about
yourself, is to give historical context from your life that explains who you are.
ENTHUSIASM
Enthusiasm is contagious, as Mystery used to say. You have to be excited
or interested in what you're saying. If you're not excited or interested in what
you're saying, there is no reason for the girl to be. If what you have to say
doesn t sound interesting and exciting and like you are really into it, then it's
going to fall flat. You have to be enthusiastic, you have to be animated. You
have to be positive.
You have to be really, really psyched about what you're saying. Making sure
that you really get into what you're saying is a part of delivery. If you mess up all
the rest of your delivery you're not loud enough, you mumble your words, you
speak too quickly if you're enthusiastic, that will cover up a lot of it.
People will generally judge you based on the non-verbal. If you're talking
about something and you seem super excited about it, you're passionate about
it, you're getting really into it, people are going to respond to that, whether or not
they agree with you, and whether or not they think you're cool.
14 ©Sinns of Attraction 2011
They are going to think,  If this guy is really into this, it must be somewhat
cool. Being blaze, or bland, or a deadpan, or quiet and serious, just does not
work. You have to be enthusiastic; you have to get into what you're doing.
MAINTAINING CONVERSATION RATIO
And the last social comfort skill is maintaining a proper conversation ratio.
The real key here is to understand that you approached her. She didn t walk up
to you. If a girl walks up to you and starts talking, the burden of keeping the
conversation is on her. But you approached this girl, so the burden of keeping
the conversation going and keeping it fun and interesting is on you, not on her.
Another reason we don t want to ask too many questions is that we don t
want to try to make the girl work too hard to have a conversation. In the
beginning, I'm expected to do around 75 percent of the talking in the interaction.
Now I hate giving numbers and percentages because there is no 100 percent
thing, but in general, in the beginning, you need to convince her that you are
cool.
You need to convince her that you are interesting. You need to convince her
that you are someone who she should talk to, and someone who she should be
interested in talking to. So in the beginning, expect to do about 75 percent of
the talking no less than 50 percent. I would say you never really, in the first
five minutes, will she be doing 51 percent of talking. Later on in the interaction,
if you can get the girl to talk more, that s really helpful because that will actually
move things forward much quicker, but in the beginning, don t rely on asking
her questions to get information.
You can ask her questions to set things up, to tease, to transition, but don t
rely on asking her questions to keep the conversation going. Don t rely on her
giving you information or asking you things, or volunteering information on her
own that s your responsibility. When you make the decision to approach a girl,
you're making the decision to keep the conversation going and to keep it fun
and interesting.
Awkward silences are a killer. You have to fill all awkward silences. In the
first 3 to 5 minutes, she doesn t care enough about you to keep going through
awkwardness. Awkwardness is going to end the interaction. In fact, I would say
one of the biggest problems most guys have is that they let awkward silences
happen in the first minute or so. They run their opener and then it's like,  Oh,
check this out . That s enough right there, that little couple seconds of silence,
can ruin an iteration.
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So hopefully all of you read the section on never running out of things to
stay, that stuff is killer for filling those awkward silences. Make sure that doesn t
happen, because they are game killers.
The two things we know definitively do not work when it comes to meeting
women are: not talking starting conversation and then shutting up, and leaving
the interaction. So anything other than not talking or leaving the interaction is
probably okay.
Alright, so you ve started a conversation, you ve used questions correctly,
you've transitioned, you ve grounded yourself, you're enthusiastic and you have
a proper conversational ratio. The girl has now hooked onto the conversation;
she would rather talk to you than have you leave.
TEASING
Once you've established social comfort, it's time to break that comfort,
usually by teasing. Remember that as soon as you can tell the conversation is
hooked, it's time to tease. And the reason behind this is two-fold. One, we want
to get her attention when you ve built social comfort with a girl, when she's
interested in talking to you, she thinks you are at least non-threatening, friendly,
etc. although she may not necessarily be attracted. She may just be
interested in talking to you.
She may just find this conversation interesting. So what we want to do then
is, if we want to break that social comfort, we want to now give her something
that makes her a little uncomfortable. Mess with her a little bit, tease her, break
the rapport, disqualify or whatever you want to call it, there are a million
different names for it, but we want to basically show her,  Hey, we are not totally
into you yet, and what that s going to do is it's going to get her attention. She's
not going to start paying attention when I start to use attraction tactics, and
that s what we want. We want to heighten her attention and her interest right at
the exact same time that we are going to start demonstrating our attractive
qualities using attraction material.
One thing to keep in mind with teasing is that teasing is emotional, not
logical. One of the most common questions I get from guys is,  Why would I
tease? Or,  What if the girl doesn t do anything that I can tease her for?
You don t need a reason to tease. Teasing is an emotional communication;
it's not a logical one. No girl is going to sit there and say,  Wait, but you
approached me and now you're telling me we are not going to get along like:
why are you doing that? Or think why am I such a brat, or this, that or the
other. Instead, they're just going to laugh and giggle if it's done right, and think
you're an asshole if it's done wrong. So don t look for logical transitions, you
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don t need the perfect lead in. You don t need a segue; you just need to tease
and see what happens.
The other thing about teasing to keep in mind is that it's competent flirting.
The girl should never actually think you don t like her. If the girl thinks you don t
like her, you're doing it wrong. You ve got to make sure that it's playful. Sarcasm
is the art of saying something that, on the surface is nice, but really means
something rude. Teasing is the art of saying something that, on the surface, is
not that nice or polite, but the context of which is,  I like you. A girl should never
actually think you don t like her when you're teasing her, but she should think,
 Oh, wait, does he not like me? Maybe I'll flirt with him back. She should just
think,  Oh, he's creating a barrier. He s being playful, but he does like me. She
should just think that you are fun, when you're teasing correctly.
Here are a couple of stock teasers you guys can use.  I can already tell you
and I are never going to get along. This is the best tease or neg, disqualified of
all time.  I can already tell you and I are never going to get along. You are too
much of a nice girl for me.  You know what, I can just tell you're too much of a
nice girl for me. You're too nice, I'm going to corrupt you and then that will be
bad news for you.
Or, if you can't remember either of those  You're such a brat you're such
a dork, you are such a pain in the ass.  just a simple non sequitur tease.
Remember, it doesn t need to make sense at all. Don t feel bound by the idea
that it has to be logical, or that it has to be building something that she can put
into some sort of equation that makes sense. It doesn t have to make sense
teasing is emotional.
BUILDING ATTRACTION
Alright, so once we've teased, now we want to start building attraction.
Remember, attraction is just a feeling of wanting more of a person or thing. It's
not some ephemeral thing. It's not some unexplainable evolutionary designed
mechanism. It's just a feeling of wanting more of a person or thing.
So the five best tactics for building attraction are being non-reactive (we will
talk about that a lot), but basically, in attraction we want to get emotional
reactions, build emotional fluidity, which is another one of our tactics, and not
give emotional reactions. We don t want to react emotionally, because whoever
reacts emotionally has less social power.
Role playing is an amazing tactic for building attraction  one of the things
that Hollywood always gets right. If you look at any fun, flirty scene between a
guy and a girl in Hollywood, they're usually role playing.  Sex and the City did a
great job at that with Mr. Big and Carrie. Emotional fluidity is actually what we
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are looking for in attraction. Because attraction is just an emotion; that we want
to be able to create emotions in that woman, we want to keep her from being
apathetic.
PRE-SELECTION
The idea of demonstration that other girls want you, triggering group think,
social proof, however you want to classify it  pre-selection is a very important
part of attraction and frame control. Controlling the frame the underlying
meaning of the interaction. Controlling the conversation & controlling the focus
of the conversation & setting underlying frames that lead to you and the girl
getting together. There is a lot of stuff going on in frame control.
FRAME CONTROL
So let's dive into these right now. Frame control. Like I said, frames are the
underlying meaning of an interaction. If I'm talking to a girl and she is trying to
get me to buy her a drink, there is an underlying meaning of that interaction.
The underlying meaning is,  I'm less cool than her and I have to pay for her
time. If I'm talking to a girl and I say,  What's the coolest thing about you
besides your looks? The underlying meaning of that is that her looks are not
enough and that I want to know if there is more to her than just the outside, and
I'm qualifying her. She is not cool enough for me just because she's pretty.
When two frames meet, the stronger frame absorbs the weaker frame.
There can only be one underlying meaning of an interaction, so when two
frames meet, whoever has the stronger frame absorbs the weaker frame. It just
simply ceases to exist, and this process of determining the actual frame,
determining what the underlying meaning of the interaction is actually going to
be set as, is known as frame control.
Frame control is really, really powerful because generally whoever believes
himself more, whoever is more sure of themselves, is going to control the
frame. In general, the person who believes more, controls the frame and sets
the interaction, meaning the person who is more in control of their behavior.
Now there are two types of frame control there is passive frame control
and there is active frame control. Passive frame control happens when we are
not outright working.
When we are leading or we are setting frames, we are talking about things
that demonstrate value, even when we are teasing. Teasing is probably the
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best example of passive frame control because if I tease a girl and she laughs;
if I say,  Oh, my God, you're such a dork, and she laughs, then I have
passively set the frame that I'm a little bit cooler than she is. Because only
people who are a little bit cooler can tease people and get away with it.
If I tease the girl and she violently disagrees, she is making a play to control
the frame. If I say,  You're such a dork. And she says,  I'm not a dork, you are
the dork. She's not accepting that frame, and now we have to get into active
frame control where we are actually going to have, not a confrontation, but a
frame battle, where there are two frames and we are both going to work to set
the frame that s accepted as the overall underlying meaning of the interaction.
So passive frame control is great for steering; I think of passive frame control
as steering the interaction. I don t want to use active frame control if I can avoid
it, because active frame control can lead to people being offended, it can lead
to being kind of rude, and it can be broken much more easily than passive
frame control.
Passive frame control is amazing because passive frame control happens
without the girl even knowing it. She doesn t have to do anything other than just
not to argue. The same thing happens when I'm giving statements of intent. If I
tell a girl,  I'm trying to get into your pants , and she laughs and says,  Well, at
least you're honest , I'm passively setting the frame that I'm going to keep
hitting on her, and she can keep saying no, but I'm going to keep trying to get
her into bed, which, if she accepts that, then it just becomes a matter of when
we sleep together, as opposed to if.
So passive frame control is a little more advanced, it's very, very powerful,
and like I said, steering. Active frame control is exactly like the name implies
more active, more in your face, more dominant. Active frame control is about
controlling the conversational thread. Sometimes you get into a conversation
that you don t want to be in, so you have to move it back.
Sometimes you have to cut people off, sometimes you have to say,  Oh,
hold on to that thought for a second. Sometimes you get onto a conversation
that doesn t help you and you have to move off of it. For example, my buddy,
Jason, and I were out with these two girls one time and he was talking to her,
and he said,  Oh, I like your tattoo. She said,  Oh, it's a sad tattoo. I got it the
day my dad died. And he was like,  Wow it's really bright in here. Just
completely changed the conversational topic by ignoring what couldn t help him.
Reframing is a big part of active frame control. When you have those frame
battles, it's going to be a battle to reframe. It's going to be a battle to re-set the
context, so that one person wins and the other person loses. The best example
of reframing is that I was talking with this girl in Boston, and it was late at night. I
basically just told her that she was my physical type.
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She had red hair, freckles, big boobs, thin, very pretty, and she had nerdy
glasses on. And so basically I was just telling her that she was hot, I was hitting
on her and I wanted to have sex with her. And she told me we weren t going to
have sex, but she kept flirting with me, and she obviously kind of liked me, and
then the lights came on, and I said,  Alright let's get out of here. And she said,
 I'm not going home with you. And I said,  Come on, we both know you are.
And she got in the cab with me. She then said,  We are not having sex. And
then we got back to the hotel, and we started making out in the elevator, and of
course, we had sex. And afterward she said,  Remember when I told you we
weren t having sex I lied. I was like,  No shit.
But that was reframing. I was basically like,  Come on, we both know you
are, let's go .
Sexual framing is a part of active frame control, shaping, qualification, telling
the girl how she is. Cold reads, qualification obviously is one of the most
powerful forms for active frame control. When you are setting the frame that she
has to work to win you over, and she has to do stuff to impress you because
just being pretty is not enough. And that s kind of a basic primer on frame
control.
Frame control is kind of an advanced topic. But understand that you have to
control the underlying meaning of the interaction. You have to do it actively by
controlling conversational threads, reframing, trying to qualify, passively through
teasing, value demonstrations and then lead-in.
BEING NON-REACTIVE
Frame control is the idea of being non-reactive. When two people interact
much like there is a clash of frames, one person is going to become more
emotionally reactive than the other, and we generally only have emotional
reactions to things that we perceive as having value.
The example that I like to give is, if you're walking on the street and a
homeless person is trying to get your attention from across the street, maybe
he's screaming crazy shit like I'm going to kill you, or this, that or the other.
You re not really worried about it, you generally look at it, you assess if it's a
threat, and since it's not, you don t have an emotional reaction, and you
continue to walk down the street. But if the guy is right in your face, all of a
sudden we have an emotional reaction and we feel threatened and now we
have to react to it.
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The same thing happens with women. If you walk up to a 5-year-old and she
tells you to fuck yourself, you'll probably laugh and think it's cute, or you ll think
that she was badly raised, but you don t emotionally react to it because, again,
no real value. You're not going to get laid from a 5-year-old. You're not going to
get rich; you're not going to be protected.
If it's not related to you, it's not that big of a deal. Now if you walk up to the
girl of your dreams and she tells you to fuck off, you're going to have an
emotional reaction because you perceive that girl as having value. When two
people interact, there's almost like a little switch over their heads, whether or
not they're reacting emotionally. Whichever switch goes off first has less social
power. The person who is reacting to the other person has less social power.
So being non-reactive means we control our emotions and project an image
or confidence no matter what we feel inside. So say we walk up to a girl and
she tells us to fuck off, we smile and keep talking. You know, you go for the kiss
with the girl, and she rejects you. You smile and keep talking, act like it didn t
happen at all be non-reactive.
You ask a girl to isolate with you, go to the bar, leave with you, and she says
no. You act exactly the same as before. We don t want to emotionally react
outwardly because we don t want to send the signal that we are the type of man
who emotionally reacts to strangers. One of the things about cold approach is
that, again, you don t have any ties, so they can't be that important to you.
If you are getting your emotions all hurt because a girl is being mean to you,
or she's not interested, it generally sends a lot of bad signals because it says,
 Okay, this guy cares way too much about a stranger, that means he probably
doesn t get girls, that means he probably doesn t have that many friends, he
doesn t have options, he's desperate. He is weak; he is kind of a pussy. All
these things happen.
That s why it's so important that we are non-reactive; that we are not
showing that her behavior has emotionally swayed us. Now the caveat here is
that non-reactive is not non-expressive. Non-reactive does mean you sit there
like a zombie, or you don t talk, or you just smile no matter what's going on.
Non-reactive means you're on an emotional even keel.
The best way of describing non-reactive is that nothing is a big deal, nothing
is a problem. So you're talking to the girl, you're having fun, you're being social,
you are building some attraction and it's not going well you don t act like it's
even happening. You are talking to a girl and there are a bunch of guys there
you don t acknowledge the guys, or act like there is anything wrong going on,
you're just emotionally doing what you're doing.
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To be emotionally non-reactive means to be internally validated, as opposed
to getting your validation from the outside. It means that no matter what, you're
having a good time. Nothing is a big deal; nothing is a problem to you. The
reaction of these girls could not matter less.
If they love you, that s cool. If they hate you, that s cool. Anything in
between, that s cool. You are non-reactive, you are not going to let your
emotions be controlled by the reactions of strangers. Being non-reactive is
amazingly attractive because it shows the opposite of all of those things that
reactive says. If you don t really care that much, if you're not that emotionally
invested, if you don t take things too seriously, it shows you're probably a cool
guy who has a lot of stuff going on outside of being in the club hitting on random
girls.
EMOTIONAL FLUIDITY
Because attraction is emotional, before we can even begin to build
attraction, we first have to establish emotional fluidity with the woman we are
attracted to. So that means in social comfort, as soon as we start talking we are
trying to get emotional reactions.
This is the flip side of the non-reactive coin, we are trying to not give
emotional reactions, we are trying to not show that we are being swayed, or that
they're having any emotional effect on us, while at the same time, getting the
woman to laugh, feel sad, feel frustrated, feel happy, feel excited, feel intrigued,
all of these emotions. Emotional fluidity is simply the ability to influence a
woman's emotions.
The key understanding here is that the opposite of love is not hate, but
apathy. When a person is just not interested in you, that s the worst reaction
you can get.
I have slept with girls who initially hated me. I've never slept with a girl who
initially was apathetic for a long time. I've never slept with a girl who just didn t
give me anything to work with, because you have to get them emotionally
involved, and emotions are fluid. That s why I call it emotional fluidity, because
the emotional spectrum is 360 degrees.
It can happen in two to three minutes. You can be on top of the world one
minute and at the bottom the next. Our emotions are very fluid, they are very
transient. Emotions do not last forever, which is why attraction by itself is not
enough, because attraction by itself, as great as it is, is just an emotion, and
there are many emotions that a woman can feel.
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A woman is not going to feel an attraction for you for the lifespan of your
relationship. She's got 87,000 different emotions, but being able to affect that
woman emotionally, is the core skill of attraction in my opinion, because you
have to get them emotionally stimulated. You have to be able to get her
emotionally reacting.
Remember how the person who emotionally reacts has less social power?
We want her to be emotionally reacting so that we have more social power, so
we can do more things, so we can make things happen.
A good way to build emotional fluidity is by breaking rapport, breaking that
social comfort, teasing, humor, role plays (which we are going to talk about very
soon), is another way to build emotional fluidity, as is talking about emotional
language. Most men do not speak emotionally enough, they talk very logically.
They talk in facts and figures and specifics, as opposed to emotions. You want
to talk about  What did you feel? Were you excited? Were you scared? Was it
happy, was it sad, was it nervous, was it weird?
The more emotions you put into your language, the better you're going to do
with women because emotions are how they process the world.
PRE-SELECTION
Pre-selection is very important for attraction. Pre-selection is basically the
idea of demonstrating or verbalizing that you get women. The reason that this
works is through the idea of social proof or group think. If all of these girls think
you're cool, then new girls you meet will think that you're cool too, because they
will think,  Oh, these three girls think he is cool, he must be cool.
Pre-selection is very, very powerful. It is psychologically proven through a
variety of experiments that social proof works, and pre-selection is a form of
social proof. It's a specific form of showing girls or telling girls, that women are
attracted to you. It's basically like getting a testimonial.
Pre-selection generally can happen in two ways. You can verbalize it. Talk
about an ex-girlfriend, they don t have to be a model or a stripper or anything
like that, just a pretty ex-girlfriend. You can talk about how you have a lot of
female friends; you can talk about how you have one really close friend that you
used to date.
You can talk about how you date around a lot; you can talk about how girls
like you. You can get into some play stuff, but in general, just mentioning an ex-
girlfriend is usually enough to verbalize it. You want to verbalize like you're not a
loser, you have dated women before, that women do find you attractive.
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Now verbalization is obviously not as powerful as demonstration, and
demonstration is pretty easy. You go into a bar and you're having some
conversations with girls in front of other women. You talk to one group of girls
and then you go,  Okay, I really need to go find my friends , and then you talk to
another group of girls.
You have them see that. You can even balance between the two groups
introduce them, whatever. If you have a female friend who comes out with you,
if you go out with a group of female friends, if you know bartenders and they
hug you when they see you walk into a club anything that shows girls are
interested in you, it builds that pre-selection.
I do want to say you will want to be careful with that because, while you can
build pre-selection, you can also build what's known as player vibe, and that is
decidedly not helpful because that will make it seem that you're just a player
and you're just out to get laid. So be careful with the demonstration, but
demonstration is better than verbalization for sure.
ROLE PLAYING
Role playing is emotional stimulation at its finest. This is a tactic. Role
playing is awesome because it allows distance and objectivity to allow for
escalation and emotional stimulation. Role playing is where you just make up a
fun, fantasy situation that you and the girl can play in.
It's pure emotional stimulation, they know it's not true, but it allows them to
get emotional. So for example, I might say,  You know what I'm going to do with
you guys, I'm going to bring you guys back to L.A. with me, put you on the car
of my low rider and have you be like my L.A. booty bitches and then when I'm
having my rap music videos and ride around in my low rider, you guys can
come be a part of that. Or,  You know what? You guys are going to be
members of my fan club. You guys are totally awesome and I love that you
laugh at my jokes, so what I'm going to do is I'm going to bring you guys around
with me for the rest of the night, and any time I tell a joke or anything, your job
would just be to laugh and talk about how cool I am.  You know what, you're
like a female player, I can already see. You probably have a rotation of like five
or six guys and you're just going to use me and abuse me. You're just going to,
like, get my phone number so you can go brag to your friends, and tell them you
got five phone numbers tonight.
Role plays are awesome, you don t want to overdo it with role plays,
because then you can just become like the role play guy. But you should
definitely use at least one role play every time you talk to girls. When you are
running out of things to say or do in attraction, use role plays because they
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work, they're powerful. Men don t get them, but for women, they're an incredibly
entertaining and fun experience.
ADDING LIKENESS
So now we are going to talk about adding likeness. We've talked about
building social comfort, we've talked about the five tactics for social comfort,
we've talked about building attraction and the five best tactics for attraction, now
we are going to talk about adding that special sauce. Adding that element that
no one else really talks about, that no one else, even in the pickup community,
teaching knows what it is. There are no other dating coaches that are even
aware of this kind of stuff, and that is, adding likeness.
So unlike social comfort in attraction, likeness is not a phase in an
interaction. Social comfort is a phase. Social comfort is what you have to do in
the beginning, and then it's a tactic for later on in the interaction to fill in the
space between tactics and techniques. Attraction is a phase. It's a phase where
you're trying to get her interested in you. Likeness is not a phase. It's rather
something to be built throughout the early part of an interaction. A good
example is that your social comfort and your attraction are like your stake.
Likeness is like your garlic, salt and pepper. It's just something you're going
to sprinkle on as you're cooking. It's not going to make up for the meal, but it's
going to make everything work a lot better. So it's important to note, you're
going to be building likeness at the same time as attraction and after you ve
built social comfort. You don t want to build likeness too much in social comfort.
Every now and then a commonality or something will come up, and if it's
natural, go with it.
But you don t want to be forcing likeness in, because what happens if you
force likeness in before the girl is socially comfortable with you, is that you'll
seem like a sycophant. You will seem like a guy who is just trying to say that he
is into everything that she is into in order to get her interested. That s not what
we want. Instead, we want to build out social comfort, get her interested in
talking to us and then as we are building attraction, start sprinkling in the idea
that we have a lot in common.
Not only is she getting interested in us, but look we have all these things in
common, and all these things that make us alike and make us similar, which
ultimately will let the girl feel like she's known you and it will really create that
instant chemistry.
Social comfort in attraction is great. That s attraction and that s the right way
to start an interaction. But adding the likeness is what creates that spark. When
people talk about how there is a spark, and how things were happening, and
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how you just knew, and everything was just working, that s likeness. And that s
what we are going to teach you how to build now.
So in general, there are five best tactics for likeness.
There are a million ways to build likeness, especially when you get more into
who you are personally. Like for me, personally, there are specific things that
I'm into that build likeness with a certain type of woman that I'm attracted to.
Some of them are things that fit into these tactics, and some of them are things
that are just unique to me. And things that you will be able to build are unique to
you. Don t just look at these likeness tactics as a full list or as your ultimate
guide to building likeness. Look for things that are unique about yourself that
could be unique to a woman.
A lot of times we think that we are different or special, like our ego wants to
differentiate us from people or put separation between us and others. But more
than anything, we are more alike than we are different, so the things that you
think are kind of weird about you, there are probably some women that are
attractive out there, that are really into that, and that is similar to them as well,
so don t be afraid to bring those up.
THE FIVE BEST TACTICS OF LIKENESS
So the five best tactics are number one, work, school. Finding likeness in
where you went to school. Going to the same school, if you go to the same
school as a girl, if you were in college with her or if you went to the same
school that s an instant likeness. You now have things that you can talk
about. The same thing with work.... if you worked for the same company, if you
worked in the same industry, if you ever did something that s similar to what she
did, if you ever even had the same shitty job growing up.
The second best tactic is food/entertainment. Food is the killer one,
entertainment as well. Everybody eats, everybody goes out. Local celebrities,
every city has these people. I don t care if it's Ed, the King of big screen TV, or
Snoop Dogg, every city has celebrities that are known for being from that city.
You know, Drew Carey in Cleveland, Snoop Dogg in LA, and a million people
that I can't think of in New York but local celebrities, and those are real
celebrities. I'm talking like local celebrities which are even smaller, which we will
talk about. Connecting is a real powerful networking tactic and it's a great way
to build likeness. And lastly, pop culture.
So what I'm going to do now is jump into these and really focus on how you
can build this likeness. Now these things are not hard to do, but they are things
you should do every single time if you really want to spark that chemistry.
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SCHOOL OR WORK CONNECTIONS
The easiest way to build likeness is through school or work connections.
Even if you and the girl don t share the same occupation, or attend the same
school, you can still build likeness by knowing what the experience was like.
Any city that you're in has some local college, has some school that most
people go to. If you go out and you ask people in your pickups what school they
went to, you'll find most people went to a specific school. If you know that, you
can now figure out how you can build likeness.
For example, kids at UCLA party on a street named Gayley, kids at USC
party at a place called Frat Row. Knowing those little distinctions allows you to
talk about what the experience was like and build likeness and show her that
you understand her school or work world.
Likeness is all about showing them that you and her are in the same world,
that you not only understand her world, but you are a part of it; because when
you show the girl that you're a part of the same social circle, the same school,
the same work, you like the same places you warm the cold approach. No
longer are you just some random guy, you're a guy who went to the same
school as her, who worked in the same job as her.
FOOD AND ENTERTAINMENT
This one, there is no excuse for not being able to build likeness with. You
have to eat and you like to do stuff.
So again, we are trying to show the girl that we are in the same world. So
every city has things like this. Again, you're just being lazy if you're like,  Oh, I
live in Des Moines, Iowa. Know where in your city that has the best hamburger.
Where is the best hamburger in Des Moines, Iowa? Where is the best grilled
cheese? Maybe you don t have the best sushi, but where is the best place to
watch a concert? Where is the best karaoke bar, where is the best dive bar?
Where is the best rooftop patio? Where is the best cheap food? Where is the
cheapest beer? Where is the cheapest Happy Hour?
By knowing where these things are and having an idea about this kind of
stuff, food and entertainment-wise, you build likeness. If I say to a girl,  Yes, the
best hamburger in L.A. is at 18-Degrees at the Roosevelt , and the girl says,
 Oh, my God, I totally agree , I've built instant likeness. If I say,  The best grilled
cheese is at this grilled cheese truck downtown. and the girl goes,  Oh, my
God, I've heard about that  I've built likeness. Or,  I love grilled cheese  I've
built likeness.
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That s the key with food and entertainment. You have to be able to
demonstrate your taste because everyone has different tastes, and if you can
demonstrate that you have similar taste to the girl, even if it's food or sushi, or
bars to go to, you're building likeness. You and her like to do the same things,
plus it's a built-in excuse to ask her out later by talking about something early on
in the interaction. So everyone should be building likeness with food and
entertainment.
LOCAL CELEBRITIES
Every city has people everyone knows. Like I said, it might be a club
promoter, it might be a guy who does cheesy TV commercials, it might be a
specific yoga teacher, it might be a chef who has a restaurant that everyone
knows. Make it your job to know these people, if even in a peripheral role. Make
it your job to know the people who are well known around your town.
Even if you have to spend money to meet them, if there is a chef that
everyone in your city is raving about go to the restaurant and then ask to talk
to the chef and try to make some sort of connection. Then don t be afraid to
namedrop, that s the better thing. If you know people that know a lot of people,
if you have a good social circle, especially in the club scene, if you know
deejays, promoters, bartenders, cocktail waitresses, managers, general
managers, owners don t be afraid to namedrop, don t be afraid to mention the
people you know because, ironically, the often maligned pick up attempts that
make it where they go,  Oh, you went to college, do you know? Or,  Oh, you're
from L.A.? Do you know Casey Jones? Or,  Oh, you lived in New York? Do
you know Danita Kelly? , or whatever you're onto something there.
If you know people in common, even if they're weak ties, even if you're not
best friends with these people, you're building likeness. Even if they know who
someone is, if you know them, you're building likeness. You're actually building
value too, not only do you know the same person, but you are better friends
with them than they are.
So don t be afraid to namedrop, and make sure that you know the notable
people in your town. They don t have to be in the club scene, people often think
that this is like a club scene thing. It could be your mayor, it could your local
politician, it could be the person who runs the recycle charity. Whatever your
group is, whatever your city is, there are people that everybody knows, and the
more you know them, and the more you namedrop them, the better you're going
to do with building likeness.
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CONNECTING
One of the best ways to build likeness is through offering to help introduce
the girl to someone who can help her. This is an amazing tactic for building
likeness because you are showing that not only do you have some knowledge
of something she's trying to do, but you also know people related, so you're in
the same worlds.
One thing I always try to do when I'm meeting anyone, male or female, is to
think about: who do I know that they should know also. I got this from
networking books, and it really is the best way to build likeness personally, and
professionally. If you're looking to network, that is the number one question for
networking:  Who do I know that I can introduce these people to? , because
connecting people shows likeness.
If I'm talking to a girl and she's going to fashion school, I might introduce her
to my friend Kelly who is a fashion designer, or my friend Joanna who is a
fashion designer for Seven Jeans. If I'm talking to a girl who wants to be a
model, I might introduce them to my friend Haley who works for L.A. Models, or
I might introduce her to my friend who does the booking for Alee on the East
Coast.
Give email addresses, write emails to connect them offer to connect.
Offering to connect builds likeness. It shows that not only are you paying
attention to her world, but you are involved in her world, you both have things in
common and you know people who could be helpful to her. This is probably my
favorite way to build likeness because it's just something that allows you to
really demonstrate a lot of similarities, especially professionally, and especially
with the people you hang out with very quickly.
POP CULTURE
And lastly, pop culture. When you're trying to build likeness with pop culture,
you want to go for something that s a little more obscure. Everyone like Incubus
and Sublime, not everyone likes R. Kelly. So if I'm trying to build likeness with
pop culture, I would want to talk about things that are a little different, and here
is where it's really crucial to understand the difference between quirky and
weird.
Quirky is different, it's kind of out there, but is not weird. Quirky is not weird.
Quirky is something that s attractive in its difference. For example, the fact that I
like to read a lot, despite the fact that I'm very hyper socially, and have a lot of
tattoos and piercings and stuff, is quirky. If I told girls that I like to read 17th
Century Russian torture stories that would be weird. If it's something that has
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a bad connotation to it, like R. Kelly, ironically, sometimes has a connotation
because girls will bring up to him the peeing on little kids thing.
So if it has a bad connotation or if it's something that your friends think is
weird, then you will want to stay away from it. If it's something that s a little out
there, a little different, and your friends think it's funny, not necessarily weird,
then that s quirky and that s what you want to go for.
But again, everyone knows pop culture, everyone has an opinion on Lady
Gaga, everyone has an opinion on Britney Spears, everyone has an opinion on
Jessie James and Sandra Bullock. You can use pop culture to demonstrate
likeness. If you have the same opinions on famous people, on music, on TV
shows, movies, entertainment figures, major world events you're building
likeness.
And again, just the simple use of these conversational subjects can help you
build likeness quickly and easily, especially if you talk about things that are a
little off the beaten path that are a little quirkier, but not necessarily weird, not
necessarily scary, not necessarily having a negative connotation that would
make people think that you are not as cool.
SECTION RECAP
Alright, that s going to wrap up this section. So in this section, here is what
we went through:
·ð Specific tactics and techniques for creating 5-Minute Chemistry step-by-
step.
·ð I talked about the timeframe first, starting conversation. Then you're
transitioning into social comfort as soon as a conversation hooks. Whether
it's in the first minute, whether it's in minute 5, you are breaking social
comfort and building attraction. You're building attraction using things like
role plays, frame control, being non-reactive, emotional fluidity, and you're
sprinkling in likeness based on pop culture, based on connecting school,
work, food, entertainment, etc.
·ð I've gone through what a conversation would look like when you're building
chemistry.
·ð I've shown you that it starts with social comfort. It starts with transitioning
just getting on a different topic. It starts with grounding yourself & talking
about yourself & asking questions the right way, having a proper
conversational ratio.
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·ð Then we crossed over with tease, we break that social comfort, but we don t
want to draw attention to it. Remember that teasing doesn t start a
conversation, you're never going to tease a girl, call a girl a dork and then if
she asks why, be like,  Oh, because I think you are this, that or the other.
We just want to gloss over it, we want to throw the tease out there and
continue the conversation, straight into the attraction building.
·ð And then as we are building attraction, we are looking for likeness. We are
throwing these food and entertainment things out there, we are throwing
school and work things out there, we are throwing pop culture things out
there, we are trying to connect, we are trying to look how can we build
likeness, how can we sprinkle in likeness to spark that chemistry, to show
her that okay, she's comfortable, she's attracted and we are similar, we are
alike. There is a likeness between the two of you that makes her want to
spend more time with you and get sexually involved.
CONCLUSION
Now that we've gone over that and I've given you specific word-for-word
examples, it's time for you to put it all together. Now that you ve seen the steps
to creating chemistry, I want you to re-read this section and write out a 5-minute
chemistry interaction from beginning to likeness. What I mean is: I want you to
write  I start a conversation with X, Y, Z, I transitioned with this; after I
transitioned I grounded myself.
After I grounded myself I asked her a question to even up the conversational
ratio; after that I made sure I was enthusiastic, I teased her by saying: X, Y, Z
and then I built attraction with whatever tactics and techniques and I sprinkled
in likeness.
Then get out there and approach 20 women this week. This program is
designed to get you prepared to approach women. If you're not going to go out
and talk girls, this program is useless. So make sure that you get out there and
approach at least 20 women this week, and you work on putting these things
together.
You work on understanding the inner game of chemistry. As you're talking to
girls, think about how it relates to the ideas in your head. Think about those
tactics and never run out of things to say, make sure you're prepared. You
should never run out of things to say ever again, and then you should have a
framework and an idea, especially if you do this exercise of what to say to build
chemistry, to create chemistry in 5 minutes.
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I want to congratulate you and thank you for going through the 5-Minute
Chemistry Program. I'm very, very proud of this program, and I hope you get
amazing results with it.
If you have questions, or you want to leave us feedback, we really do
appreciate success stories. I know we've gotten some of them from our test
group that we gave this out to before we put it on the market, but it always helps
if you have chemistry stories. If you want to tell us about your success, please
email me at: [e-mail] with the email titled: Success Story
with Chemistry.
I look forward to hearing about all of your success. Get out there, start using
this stuff and congratulate yourself for having the discipline to go through this
and to really work on building these skills.
Thanks, and I'll talk to you very soon.
32 ©Sinns of Attraction 2011