Once Upon A Dream

By Tanisha

Section I, Next Section

Prologue

Posted on Sunday, 14 February 1999

Once upon a time, a handsome prince married a beautiful princess, and they lived happily ever after.

Unfortunately, life is not a fairy tale...

Elizabeth watched the beautiful sunset. The pageant of breathtaking colors on the background of the New York skyline would have been enough to thrill anyone, anyone except Elizabeth. She watched the enticing scene in front of her from her apartment, with as listless disinterest. In fact, she might as well have not been watching at all. For amidst all the harmony and beauty of the world outside, her world was crumbling inside. Her life was about to change forever and there was nothing more she could do. The deed had been done. The divorce was final. And all that was left for her was to move on.

The sudden ringing of the phone snapped Elizabeth out of her reverie. She ran inside hoping it was him, maybe they could still work everything out. Maybe, just maybe...

"Hello?" She was very hopeful.

"Hi, hon. It's me." It was her dad.

"Oh, yes," Liz tried to fight the disappointment, but it was hard to hide it from someone who knew her as well as her dad.

Mr. Bennet was concerned, "Lizzy, you don't sound so good."

"I'm fine, dad. Really." She lied through her teeth.

"I don't think you are, Liz," he persisted. "I know how traumatic these past few months have been for you, and I think you deserve a break. That's what I was calling you about."

"Yes?" Lizzy was not in the mood for another 'to-raise-your-spirit' talks, but she couldn't just say that.

"Your mom and I both think you should come and visit us," Mr. Bennet said enthusiastically. "Just for a short time. You know, Mary's getting engaged and we need you here."

Great! A happy holiday with the family in Iowa. Just what I need, she thought wryly. "I don't know dad...you know how it is with mom and me. She'll never be quiet about my failed marriage and that's the last thing I need right now."

Mr. Bennet sighed, "Fran will not bother you about that, Liz. I promise. Please say you'll come? For me?"

Lizzy thought for a moment. Maybe it wouldn't be that bad, "Okay, dad. I'll think about it. But don't get your hopes high, just yet."

"Good girl!" said Mr. Bennet. "I'll tell the others the good news. talk to you later, hon. Bye."

"Bye, dad," Liz hung the phone. Mr. Bennet obviously held no doubts as to her acquiescence.

She returned to her balcony. I guess I could take some time off...Oh William! Where did we go wrong!

Chapter 1

Posted on Wednesday, 24 February 1999

William Darcy stared listlessly out of his window. His lawyer would call any minute, his client was probably on the phone right that very moment, and his coffee was getting cold. But William did not move. He made no sound. He just stared, with an inscrutable expression on his face. I wonder what she's doing right now...

Suddenly there was a buzz on his phone.

"Yes?" He was slightly irritated.

"Mr. Darcy, Mr. Wilson is one line 1," Suzy, his secretary said.

"I thought I told you not to disturb me today," William said, a tad bit harsher than he'd intended.

"Yes sir," Suzy said meekly. "I told Mr. Wilson that you did not wish to be disturbed, but he insisted that it was very important."

"Oh well..." William said, in a resigned tone. "Put him through." After a few seconds, "Hello?"

"Darcy, my boy!" boomed the voice of old Mr. Wilson.

"Yes, Mr. Wilson," William replied. He knew what was coming, at least he could guess. Mr. Wilson, of Messieurs Wilson and Wilson, had been the family lawyers for the Darcys for longer than William had been around. He had been a great friend of old Mr. Darcy, and considered William as his own son.

"Great news!" Mr. Wilson continued. "It's over! It's finally over! You are now a free man!"

William winced, "Uh-huh."

"But there's more! Wait till you hear the settlement I negotiated. It won't be expensive at all. In fact, you're getting off fairly easy." He then proceeded to go into the details of the alimony settlement, etc. William sort of tuned him out. He was in a different world. His mind was otherwise occupied.

"William? Are you still there?" Mr. Wilson queried after not hearing him respond.

"Huh?" William's attention snapped back. "I'm sorry. Did you say something?"

"Oh, I understand. I deal with this kind of thing all the time," Mr. Wilson said amicably. "The shock hasn't set in yet. It's tough to walk away from a marriage like this. I should know, it's my profession. Maybe, you should come over for dinner or something. I've got tons of stuff to tell you, and I don't think you're really paying much attention right now."

"You're right. That's probably a good idea," William mumbled. An idea suddenly hit him. "Listen Mr. Wilson. Can I call you back later? I have to make some calls."

"Sure, talk to you later. Bye." Mr. Wilson hung up.

William looked out again. The sun was just setting. She'd probably be home. Her home, not theirs. In the balcony, watching the sunset, her hair blowing in the breeze. Oh god! I have to stop! William admonished himself. It's OVER! Can't you just accept that? Get on with your life. There's nothing more you can do!

But one part of him refused to believe that. He felt deep down inside that they could still work things out, someway or the other. But it was too late now...he sat motionless for sometime, and then with a violent energy, picked up the phone again.

Suzy's voice greeted him, "Yes, sir?"

"I want to make a call, Suzy," William said.

"Yes sir. What's the number?"

"No, I'll call myself. How do I get an outside line?"

Suzy was puzzled. Her boss never called anyone himself. But she answered him obediently, "Just press 9 before the number, sir."

"Thanks, Suzy," William smiled to himself. He had made up his mind. He would call Elizabeth and, and...Gosh! He'd think of something to say. He'd just ask her how she was doing or something. But he simply had to hear her voice.

He dialed the number and the phone rang, and it rang, and it rang. She wasn't home, obviously. Or, she had caller ID and didn't want to talk to him. What were you thinking, a voice inside William berated him. You just got divorced, for crying out loud! What would she think, if you called her now! You'd sound so desperate and pathetic! What would you say! Oh boy, you really aren't thinking, are you?

Meanwhile, Café Paris, New York City, NY

"Two cappuccinos, please?" smiled Charlotte to the waiter. She looked across at her friend for corroboration, but Elizabeth was lost in her own thoughts...again. "That'll be all, thank you," Charlotte dismissed the waiter.

"Okay, Liz, out with it," Charlotte said lightly. Of course she was aware what was really weighing on her, but it would be best if she avoided that topic as long as she could.

"Huh?" Liz snapped out of her reverie.

"Back to earth, Miss Lizzy," Charlotte said. "What happened? Why'd you call me here?"

"Oh that!" Liz said. "Nothing very important really. I just had to get out of that house. I was suffocating. And," she added after a pause. "I do have some news for you."

Charlotte smiled again, "You'll make me ask, won't you? Okay, what news?"

"Dad called me today," she replied. "And the short of it is, that I'm going home. I'm going to Iowa!"

"You are?!" Charlotte exclaimed. "Oh honey, that's great news! Your parents will be so happy to see you! But wait, there's more. I can see it in your eyes."

"You're right," admitted Liz. "Okay, I won't beat around the bush. Will you come with me? Please?"

Charlotte shook her head in disbelief, "I knew that was coming, I did! But why drag me into this?"

"Char, listen to me," Liz pleaded. "I haven't been home for more than 2 years, and even when I was last there...he was with me. And now, if I go, it'd be too much for me. Besides, my sister Mary is getting engaged and that's a big deal in itself! So in a way, I have to go."

Charlotte wasn't convinced yet, "And who else will be there?"

"Oh just my parents, sisters, and some other guests. You know how mom is! She'll probably invite tons of other people to entertain us and you could visit your parents too!" Liz looked hopefully at Charlotte.

"I'll think about it...," Charlotte said deliberately. "It would be nice to get away from New York for a while..."

"Exactly!" Liz exclaimed. "Both of us need a break, won't you say?"

"Yeah, I guess," Char admitted. "But don't take that as a 'yes' young lady. I'll tell you later."

Liz smiled at Char, because she knew her friend too well. Once she said 'maybe' it always meant 'yes'!

"So..." Charlotte said, after a brief silence. "What else did your dad say?"

"He was very nice about everything," Liz said, smiling affectionately at the thought of her father. "He didn't mention William once, and didn't lecture me at all. He is a dear."

"Yes, he is," Char agreed. She had always liked Mr. Bennett better than her own dad. "But maybe your mom won't be so considerate."

"Yes," sighed Liz. "That's what I'm afraid of. But I can't postpone it forever. And Iowa has it own charms, I guess. At this point I just want to get away from here."

"I remember a time when you were desperate to come to New York..."

"A long time ago," Liz defended herself. "But times change, I've changed. It's not the same anymore, and back then I was a simplistic fool."

Charlotte watched her friend's entire demeanor change perceptively. She continued, "Back then, I believed in things. I believed in myself, I believed in a fairy tale life, I believed in true love."

"Don't you now?" Charlotte said softly.

"Maybe I do," replied Liz. "But I'm not that naďve anymore..." She paused for a moment, then continued, "You know Char, the hardest lesson to learn in life, is that love is not the answer to everything. You grow up believing that you'll find your true love and will live happily every after...but it doesn't work that way. You can love somebody, but things might not work out anyway. There's nothing you can do about it."

Charlotte saw that Liz was upset, "That might be right, Liz but remember, to love and lose is better than not having loved at all."

Liz thought about it for a moment, "You're right Char. It won't help if I keep looking at the negative side of everything. As my therapist keeps saying, I have to move on and look back at the past only as it's remembrance gives pleasure."

"That's my girl!" Charlotte smiled. "At for being such a good sport, I'll reward you by going to Iowa with you, even though I might regret it later."

"Oh Char! I knew I could count on you. Thank you," Liz smiled at her friend.

"But for now, let's enjoy our coffee," Charlotte said as their waiter came with steaming cappuccino. "Here's to the future!"

Chapter 2

Posted on Tuesday, 2 March 1999

Bennett Farm, Kingsley, NW Iowa

Jim Bennett loved his library; it was his sanctuary. It was the only place in his house where he could relax and get away from the worries and bustle of daily life. It was the only place where he could be assured of complete compliance with his wishes and some peace. In other words, it was the only place where he could get away, temporarily, from his wife. He loved her very much, of course, but after 25 long years, Frances Bennett did have a tendency of getting on his nerves, especially since the girls had left home.

Jim sighed and closed his book. He could not pay any attention. Something was on his mind, something definitely to do with his favorite daughter Elizabeth. Oh my baby...he thought to himself. If only she'd listened to me. I knew he wasn't good enough for her. Now she's in so much pain. What'd she think? She could hide it from me? Me?! Why I practically raised her! Every flicker in the pitch of her voice can tell me what's wrong! But she'll be home soon...everything will be fine, just fine.

Jim cast his memory back. He could still remember that day, that fateful day.

"Honey, don't do it, you hear me! DON'T even think about it " Mr. Bennett said desperately on the phone.

"But Dad..." said Elizabeth. "I love him...that's never going to change. Don't you understand!"

"I understand, hon.," argued Mr. Bennett. "But you are too young. You have your whole life ahead of you..."

For god sake, I'm 20. "But I'm an adult!" cried Liz.

"Barely!" countered Mr. Bennett. Then calming down, "Listen, I like him too, in a way. But you guys are going way too fast. Slow down...take your time. Then, in a couple of years, if you still feel the same, fine, I won't stop you."

"No dad!" said Liz with finality in her voice. "William and I love each other and are getting married tomorrow, with or without your blessings. Honestly, I'd hoped that you would give your blessings, but that won't stop us. Goodbye dad!" And then, she hung up.

"But Lizzy..." Mr. Bennett tried to say something, but to no avail. All he could hear was the dial tone. His baby was going to make the biggest mistake of her life and there was nothing more he could do...to stop her.

"Jim! Jim! Where are you?" Mrs. Bennett's voice brought him back to reality.

"In the library, Fran," he shouted back.

Rapid steps, and a head peeked in. Mrs. Bennett said, "Gosh Jim! Why aren't you ready yet?! We have to go for dinner at the Lucas' remember?"

"Yes, yes I remember," he said. "But tell them I have the flu or something...I don't want to go."

"James Bennett, you get up this instant!!!" cried Mrs. Bennett. "You can't fake illness like that!"

"Why not?"

"Because...well...Bill saw you this morning and you were fine! And besides, it's very rude."

The last thing he needed was Fran to shout in his ear, so he conceded, "Oh alright! How bad can it be."

Remington Apartments, New York.

Elizabeth packed her bags with more care then usual. Iowa, or shall we say Mrs. Bennett, always did this to her. Her mother didn't approve of her 'artistic' dressing sense, never had. But Liz did not want to get in any kind of argument with her. So she was very careful to pack the most 'non-controversial' clothes she could think of. She switched on the radio.

Your heart is not open so I must go,
The spell has been broken, I loved you so.
Freedom comes when you learn to let go,
Creation comes when you learn to say no.

Liz was not a great Madonna fan, but this was different. She turned up the volume.

You were my lesson I had to learn,
I was your fortress you had to burn.
Pain is a warning that something's wrong,
I pray to God that it won't be long.
Do ya wanna go higher?

There's nothing left to try,
There's no place left to hide.
There's no greater power,
Than the power of good-bye.

It occurred to Liz that the song was very apt for her situation. Depressing, yes. But relevant. She could relate to it.

Your heart is not open so I must go,
The spell has been broken, I loved you so.
You were my lesson I had to learn,
I was your fortress.

There's nothing left to lose,
There's no more heart to bruise.
There's no greater power,
Than the power of good-bye.

Learn to say good-bye,
I yearn to say good-bye.*

By the end of the song, Liz was sitting down, quietly next to the radio. "Goodbye William..." she whispered softly. A single tear rolled down her cheeks.

*The Power of Goodbye - Madonna.

Chapter 3

Posted on Friday, 5 March 1999

John F. Kennedy Airport, New York.

Charlotte waved excitedly at Lizzy as she paid the cab fare and pulled out her luggage.

"I think..." said Liz, with a slight smile, as they walked in. "that someone is more enthusiastic about this trip than previously anticipated."

"And I think," replied Charlotte. "that someone else is absolutely right!"

"Run the reason by me, again," remarked Liz.

"Well...for starters, it has been quite a while since I last visited my parents. And I do need some time off work...and I miss Iowa!"

"Sounds logical to me," replied Liz dryly, her voice slightly shaking.

Char sensed that this was a very emotional time for Liz, so she refrained from bringing up any subject that might pain her, namely anything to do with William. Of course, it was a resolution hard to keep, owing to the fact that Char had an abundance of information about William. Not surprising, since they worked in the same building. Char often passed him in the halls or maybe see him in the elevator. Sometimes, they'd nod at each other, and other times they'd act as total strangers. It was an awkward situation for them, and they both didn't know how to act. Every time Char smiled or talked to him, she felt like she was betraying her friend. It was difficult for them all.

Liz and Charlotte checked in their luggage and went through security just in time to hear, "Call for all passengers for Delta Airways Flight 109 to Sioux City, Iowa. Now boarding."

Liz turned towards Char, "Well...I guess, this is it."

"You bet!"

Meanwhile, at the Faulkner Gallery of Art, NY.

William walked into the Gallery with no little anxiety. He knew he was being pathetic and desperate, but it was something he had to do. No matter what she thought of him, William felt that he owed it to himself and their relationship, to see her one more time. And he had a valid excuse, too. Maybe...

He made it to her door with no hesitation, requiring no help. This is it...he told himself. You still have time to turn back...He crushed that impulse to go back and turned the knob.

Elizabeth's secretary, Trudy Bent greeted him with, "Hello, Mr. Darcy."

"Good morning, Trudy," he said a little uncomfortably. Now that he was here, William wasn't sure it was such a good idea.

"How can I help you?"

"Um...is Elizabeth in today?" There was a slight urgency in his voice.

"Actually, she's not."

Dang! "Oh...um...when will she be here?" He tried to fight his disappointment.

"Hard to tell," replied Trudy. "You see, she's on an extended leave, starting today."

"Oh?" he managed to say. But his brain was racing...where could she be? "Do you know where she went?"

Trudy shook her head, "No, she didn't tell us. She only said she wanted to get away from New York for a while."

Or get away from me, he said to himself. "Oh."

Trudy ventured to say, "Did you need to see her particularly? Is there any message, in case she calls in?"

William hesitated, but then said, "Well, actually, I was here to drop off some of her keys. But since she's not here, I guess I'll just mail it to her later. Bye, thanks Trudy." With that, he was gone.

Trudy watched him leave and sighed to herself. At that moment, she was insanely jealous of her boss. For who else could enamour such a handsome guy, that he'd still be in love with her, even after they broke up?

A little later, in Delta Airways Flight 109.

Liz and Char found their seats. Unfortunately, it was one of those triple seats, so they'd have to share it with someone else. When they had put away their bags and stuff, they saw a young guy sitting on the aisle seat, comfortably reading a magazine.

"Oh my gosh, Liz!" whispered Char. "Look at him!"

Liz turned around to see what had caught her friend's attention and gasped. It was amazing! He looked so much like William, that it was frightening. His brown hair and dark eyes were very much like William's, the similarity was so striking that one would frown at the coincidence.

"C'mon!" urged Charlotte. "We have to get seated, the flight's taking off soon." With that, she seated herself on the other aisle seat, leaving Liz with no choice, but to sit down between the two of them.

As Liz sat down, her co-traveler looked up and smiled. Oh! Liz thought to herself in dismay. This isn't happening. I get away from New York to forget him and move on, and the first person I see looks so much like him! At any other time, the irony of the situation would have struck amusing to her, but not this time.

"Hi," he said, flashing her a brilliant smile.

"Hi," she returned with some hesitancy.

"So," he continued. "Going to Iowa, huh?"

Duh! I'm on the plane, aren't I? "Isn't that rather obvious?" she said, a little rudely.

Before this wonderful conversation could go on, Charlotte interrupted them with, "Liz! I'm going to take a little nap. Flights make me sick, so wake me up later, okay?"

"Fine, whatever," replied Liz, picking up a magazine.

"So, your name is Liz," he continued.

"You guessed it," Liz said, sarcastically.

"I'm Ben."

"That's nice."

"So, I guess it's just you and me, since your friend is asleep," he said, amicably.

"Wrong," Liz said, more harshly than she'd intended. "Look, I'm not really in the mood of any conversation, so maybe we can both return to reading quietly, okay?"

Ben smiled slightly, "Fine, whatever you say."

Meanwhile, back in New York.

William parked his car and walked slowly to his office on the second floor of the huge, impressive building. He nodded and greeted some of his co-workers, but perhaps many of them noticed his preoccupation. Truth was, William was just trying to figure out where Liz had gone to. Not that it affected him in any way, he was quick to remind himself. It was plain, simple well-wishing curiosity. Maybe I should ask Charlotte, he thought. If she'd only talk to me, that is. If anyone knows where Elizabeth went, it's probably her. Yes, I'll do that. Try and catch her during lunch.

William entered his office, briskly asking Suzy, "Any calls or messages, Suzy?"

"Yes, Mr. Darcy," she said promptly. "Ms. Bingley called in. She said she's back from Aruba and that she'll come in today."

"Okay," William said, numbly. The thought of seeing her again wasn't pleasing to him, not after what had happened. William knew it wasn't her fault alone, but he couldn't help but wonder how different things would have been today, had Caroline never entered his life...

Chapter 4

Posted on Saturday, 6 March 1999

Delta Airways, Flight 109

Elizabeth had fallen asleep after the first 15 minutes of the flight. It hadn't been her plan to do so, but she hadn't counted on her physical and emotional fatigue. As she dozed, Ben watched her intently. According to his best estimations, she could not be more than 23 or 24, but she seemed mature for her age. Ben found her intriguing. He had never met anyone quite like her. Of course, he didn't even know her, but he knew that he wanted to. Her dark, expressive eyes, and curly black lashes, he found most alluring. And her determination to avoid any conversation with him, was even more interesting.

As if aware of his scrutiny, Elizabeth stirred and opened her eyes, to find her companion watching her thoughtfully. "What is it?" she asked, bewildered. Maybe there was something on her face.

"Huh?" he was surprised to find her awake so soon. "Um...nothing." Quickly changing the topic, "You're awake early. I would thought you'd sleep through the flight."

Liz, now fully awake, straightened her hair and dress, as she picked up her magazine that had fallen down, "Yes, well...I don't intend to sleep." This was said with some finality, leaving no opening for Ben to talk.

Ben watched her go back to reading her magazine determinedly and ventured to say, "You live in New York?"

Liz sighed and turned towards him, "Yes, I do."

"Oh? But you don't talk like a New Yorker..." he observed.

"That's very perceptive of you," she said, dryly. "I'm from Iowa."

"So, you're going back home?"

"Yes, I am."

There was some silence, then Ben again said, "I live in Wash DC."

"Good for you," came the reply.

Ben sighed and gave up. There was no use trying to make decent conversation with her. She would simply answer him and go back to reading. He picked up his own magazine.

Meanwhile, Liz was getting very uncomfortable. Ben seemed like a nice guy and everything, but she didn't want to talk to him. He reminded her too much of William...not only by his looks, but by his whole person. It pained her to see him. She knew that she was probably being rude and dismissive, but that could not be helped. Liz sighed to herself. Apparently, Ben had given up trying to talk with her. Maybe he'd taken offense, who wouldn't? But, she thought. I'll probably never see him again. How does it matter?

A little later.

"Wake up, Char," Liz said, while shaking her friend. "We're almost there."

Char woke up, groggy. She was always the motion-sleepy girl. They were about to land at Sioux City soon. Char sighed, "And I was having such a lovely dream, too."

Liz smiled, "How can you sleep through the entire flight like that, I'll never understand."

"It takes practice, my dear," Char replied, with a smile. "Lots of it."

"And that's something, she'll never get," joined in Ben, who'd been listening in.

Char laughed shortly, and ignoring Liz's look, she said, "I'm Charlotte."

"Ben."

"Nice to meet you," said Charlotte.

"Me too," he said. "It's nice to know that at least somebody doesn't mind me here."

Liz turned to look at him, testily, "I don't mind you here."

"Really?" he raised his eyebrows. "No wonder you didn't speak 10 words to me the whole time."

"I was reading," Liz said simply.

"Fine."

The flight attendant interrupted them with, "Ladies and gentlemen, we'll be arriving at Sioux City shortly. Please fasten your seatbelts."

Even later, at the Sioux City Airport.

Liz and Char claimed their baggage. Char said, "You could have been nicer to Ben. It wouldn't do any harm."

Liz shrugged, "I didn't want to."

"Why?" Char persisted.

"You know why," Liz replied.

Char let the subject go. Her friend could be very obstinate sometimes. But Charlotte hated to see her like that. Usually, she was carefree and jolly and would converse easily with strangers. But Char was afraid that Ben reminded her too much of William. Let her be, a voice inside Charlotte told her. For god's sake, she just went through a very painful divorce. You can't expect her to be rational right now.

Since, Kingsley, the small town where Bennett farm was located, was almost an hour's drive away, the two friends decided to take a cab. As they were leaving the airport building, Char spied Ben putting his things into a cab. She waved to him. He smiled at her, and nodded to Liz, who nodded briefly in return. She watched his cab pull away thoughtfully, wondering where he was going. Not that it mattered to her, she was quick to remind herself.

Liz and Char got their own cab and gave directions to Bennett Farm.

"When are you going to your parents?" Liz asked Char.

"Probably tomorrow."

Liz was quiet for a moment. "Char?"

"Yes?"

"I just want you to know that I really appreciate your coming with me." Liz said. "I don't think I'd have the courage to come here alone. It'd be too overwhelming." She stopped, sighed, then continued. "Thank you."

"Don't mention it Liz." Char smiled at her.

She was well aware what her friend was going through. Going back home was always difficult enough, but this time Liz would have to deal with bigger issues. Char didn't think that Mrs. Bennett would be so considerate as to keep away from the subject of her daughter's recent divorce. That would be too much to expect. No, Mrs. Bennett would grind her daughter and ask her for every tiny, gory detail. Of both the parents, Mrs. Bennett had been very much in support of the marriage, simply because she wanted to marry her daughters. The only disappointment for her had been when Liz and William got married on their own, which destroyed all her dreams of a grand church wedding. But in spite of that setback, she had been happy to know that Liz got married to such a wealthy and promising, young man. And Char suspected, that Mrs. Bennett would not look very kindly upon Liz's divorce, but that could not helped.

"What are you thinking?" Liz asked Char, who'd been strangely quiet for sometime.

"Oh...nothing," Char snapped into the present, smiling at Liz. "So tell me, who's Mary getting married to? How did it happen? I always thought that she'd be the last one to get married!"

Liz smiled, "I was surprised too, when dad told me. It seems that she's marrying this doctor, who works with her. His name is Trey. And that's all I know. I guess I'll get the details when we get there."

Char nodded, "So your mother's having an engagement party."

Liz replied, "Well, sort of. All my sisters, except Lydia will be there. And I think she invited the Gardiners. It'll be sort of like a mini-family get together to celebrate the occasion."

"Have fun!" exclaimed Char, and Liz gave her a nasty look.

"I'm hoping it won't be very bad, if there're so many people to distract mom."

"I'm sure it won't," Char said, though she felt otherwise. A thought struck her, "Trey is coming too, right?"

"I think so."

"But do you have enough room for so many guests?" Char asked.

"I guess, that's for mum to decide," stated Liz. "Maybe Aunt and Uncle Gardiner will stay with the Philips."

"Let's see what happens."

Meanwhile, in New York.

William finished talking to a client when Suzy buzzed.

"Yes?" he said.

"Um...Ms. Bingley is here, Mr. Darcy. She would like to see you. shall I send her in?"

William thought for a moment, "Yes, Suzy."

Shortly afterwards, Caroline Bingley walked into his office, dressed in a bright orange suit. "William! How are you?"

"Good," he said tightly. "Nice dress."

"Do you like it!" she exclaimed. "I got it from Aruba!" She added, "Oh, and I'm so sorry to hear about your divorce."

William at her for a moment, then said, "Yes, I'm sorry too."

Caroline smiled comfortingly at him, "You must be devastated, poor man. Maybe you could come one over to my place tonight. We could have some drinks...I'll give you company."

No way! "Thanks for the offer Caroline," he said. "But I'm busy tonight."

"Maybe tomorrow then," she said, hopefully.

"No, Caroline, I don't think so," he said slowly. "Look, Caroline. Whatever happened between us was a big mistake. I'm sorry that I took advantage of you, but that can't be helped now. Forget that it ever happened."

God dammit! Thought Caroline. What will it take to get Elizabeth off his mind? But she wasn't going to give up, yet. "I understand William. But I don't see why we should spoil our friendship over this."

William only nodded. Caroline continued, "Then dinner, tomorrow night at my place?"

William thought for a second. What the heck! What harm can it do, now?! "Okay," he conceded.

"Then see you tomorrow. I still have some unpacking left," she smiled brightly at him, and disappeared.

Caroline walked out of William's office, satisfied. She'd made her point, and he'd be at her house for dinner. Friends! Ha! Caroline wasn't going to be satisfied with that. No, she had greater things at mind, and she always got what she wanted. It was a good thing, though, that William didn't suspect. He should never find out. Caroline whispered to herself, "And he never will."

Chapter 5

Posted on Monday, 15 March 1999

Plymouth County, Iowa.

Charlotte and Elizabeth anxiously looked out their windows. This was sort of a homecoming for them. They both were aware of the fact that no matter where they went in life, they would always call Iowa their home. Few people had the good fortune of growing up in such beautiful surrounds, and that blessing was not lost upon them, especially after their life in fast-paced New York.

Liz sighed, "Maybe I'm biased, but I can really think of nothing so beautiful as the prairies in the summertime."
Char agreed, "I couldn't differ with you there, or I'd not be fit to be called an 'Iowan'!"

Liz laughed shortly. It felt good to be home again. The fresh, summer air, the breeze, the wide open spaces. All that was something Elizabeth sorely missed in New York. The sudden appearance of clumps of tress in the horizon signaled the travelers that they were close to their destination.

"We're almost at Kingsley now," Liz informed Charlotte. "We'll be reaching my farm in no time."

Char simply nodded and looked on outside. The view took her breath away. It was truly amazing. Charlotte was shaken out of her reverie by Liz's voice,

"I'm scared, Char."

Charlotte turned to face Liz, surprised, "Why would you say that?"

Liz sighed unhappily, "I don't know if I can face dad again...after what happened."

Char said, "You know that there's nothing to worry about. Your father is probably the most understanding guy I know."

Liz shook her head, "But it's different this time. He was right, I was wrong. It's like Daddy Knows Best."

"You hate admitting you were wrong, don't you?" said Charlotte, with the hint of a smile.

"Maybe," said Liz slyly. Then, turning serious, "I just...I just hope it all goes well. I don't want any kind of a scene."

"Of course, you can always count on me," said Char, smiling.

"For what?"

"For distracting your parents and changing the focus of their attention at the critical time!"

The two friends laughed heartily. They were in Kingsley now. Bennett Farm was a now just matter of miles away.

Kensington Office, New York City.

William had been trying his best to work diligently through the morning, but he failed miserably. In fact, for the past few weeks, his mind had seldom been on his work. Funny, a failed marriage can do that to a person, he thought bitterly. Frustrated, he closed the audit papers of Jefferson & co. That would just have to wait. William felt the need of some soft, soothing music. He turned on the radio.

How do I,
Get through the night without you?
If I had to live without you,
What kind of life would that be?

In spite of not being an ardent country music fan himself, William did not switch channels. He felt a special affinity to this kind of music. Elizabeth just loved it. He had grown to like it, too, in time.

Oh, I
I need you in my arms, need you to hold,
You're my world, my heart, my soul,
If you ever leave,
baby you would take away everything good in my life,
and tell me now.

William sighed. He remembered the number of times he'd heard the very same song, but under such different circumstances. He'd never really paid much attention to the words before today, but now that he did, it meant a lot to him.

How do I live without you?
I want to know,
How do I breathe without you?
If you ever go,
How do I ever, ever survive?
How do I, how do I, oh how do I live?

Exactly, William thought wryly. How do I live without her? Almost unconsciously, William turned his attention to a picture of her he still kept on his desk. It was taken about 18 months ago, at a country-dance festival. She was wearing a cowboy hat and a huge smile. William smiled, just remembering those days...

Without you,
There'd be no sun in my sky,
There would be no love in my life,
There'd be no world left for me.
And I,
Baby I don't know what I would do,
I'd be lost if I lost you,
If you ever leave,
Baby you would take away everything real in my life,
And tell me now

How do I live without you?
I want to know,
How do I breathe without you?
If you ever go,
How do I ever, ever survive?
How do I, how do I, oh how do I live?
Please tell me baby,
How do I go on?*

At this point, Suzy interrupted her boss by knocking the door. "Excuse me, Mr. Darcy..." She walked in, but stopped. Mr. Darcy was just sitting there, staring at some picture, music playing in the background. The sight surprised her. "Oh, I'm sorry," she said flustered. "I...ah...didn't realize...that you were busy. I'll leave." She hastily turned to exit the room.

"No, no, Suzy, it's okay," William was quick to respond, turning off the radio. "You didn't disturb me. I should be returning to work, anyway. What did you want to see me about?"

Suzy handed him some papers. "This fax just came in from Jefferson's..."

And the morning went on...

Meanwhile, in Kingsley, Iowa

The cab entered the Bennett Farm precisely an hour after having left the airport. Elizabeth's heart was in a flutter. Despite all of Charlotte's assurances, she could not rid herself of the apprehension of her reunion with her family. And that fear was never so great as when she was driving down the farm towards the main house. Nothing seemed to have changed...the cornfields, the stables, the farm...

Charlotte, sensing her friend's fears, gently squeezed her hands. "It'll be fine, Liz."

Liz nodded and smiled. Charlotte was her best friend and had been so for a long time. She didn't know what she'd do without her. Coping with the divorce would almost be impossible without her.

The cab pulled up in front of the house. Liz and Char got out, paid the fare and got their luggage. Just as the cab was leaving the premises, the front door open and Mr. Bennett emerged. "Lizzy? Charlotte?"

"Dad!" Liz exclaimed, running into his open arms. "I'm so happy to see you!"

"As am I," smiled Mr. Bennett. "You too, Charlotte," he added, seeing that Charlotte looked a little left out. He motioned her to come over and join the father-daughter huddle.

After a few moments of just standing there, Mr. Bennett said, "Now, let's get you girls settled. We've all been waiting for you."

Charlotte said, "Are my parents here, too?"

"Yes, of course," returned Mr. Bennett. "They're waiting for you in the family room."

"Maybe I'll go ahead and see them," said Charlotte. "I'll come back for my bags later."

"Sure, go ahead!" said Mr. Bennett.

Charlotte smiled at them and went in. Seeing her parents was just an excuse. Of course, she did want to see them, but Char also wanted to leave Mr. Bennett and Jim alone together. They could probably use that time.

Mr. Bennett turned earnestly towards Liz as soon as Char left. "So?"

"So."

"How are you, Lizzy?"

"I'm fine, dad. Really!" she replied. "How about you?"

"Same old...arthritis has been bothering me a little, but nothing new."

"And mom?"

"She's doing alright, too," he said. "Misses you guys, though."

Liz nodded, guiltily. "But she has Kate."

"Yes, she does," Mr. Bennett said. "And we're both happy about that. Kate is a great support for us."

"Yes, I know," Liz said, making a mental note to thank her sister later. "Now I'm here too."

"For how long?" asked Mr. Bennett.

"Right now I'm on indefinite leave...I'll stay as long as you want me too."

Mr. Bennett smiled, "That could be forever...you know we'd never ask you to leave."

"Yes, I know, dad," she said softly. "I'm glad to be home."

"Me too, hon.," said Mr. Bennett. "Now, lets get your stuff inside. Here, I'll help you with your bags."

They went inside with the luggage, temporarily depositing it near the foot of the stairs in the living room. With that done, Mr. Bennett said, "Come in and meet everyone."

Liz nodded. She dreaded this bit. She hoped against hope that her mom would not create any kind of a scene...specially with all the guests around.

Seeing Liz's troubled looks, Mr. Bennett added, "Fran will behave, I promise."

"Thank you, dad," Liz said, gratefully.

They entered the family room.

"Lizzy!!!" cried Jane, as soon as Liz entered. The sisters hugged, having not seen each other for a long time.

Mrs. Bennett approached them, "It's so good to see you again, Liz."

Liz said, "Yeah, me too, mom." She hugged her mom. Liz loved her mother, faults and all.

Liz greeted Mr. and Mrs. Lucas, who were engaged in conversation with Charlotte.

Mrs. Bennett said, "Kate, Mary and Trey are out in the farm somewhere."

"Oh?" said Liz.

"But Trey's brother just arrived," Mrs. Bennett continued. "He's in the porch. I'll introduce you."

Saying thus, she took Liz by hand and took her to the porch. A familiar looking figure was standing.

Mrs. Bennett said, "Liz, let me introduce you to --- "

He turned around. Liz cried out, "YOU!!!"

Ben smiled, "Hi again!"

* How Do I Live, by LeAnn Rimes

Chapter 6

Posted on Friday, 19 March 1999

"What are you doing here?!" demanded Liz.

"Well, I..." Ben started to say, when Mrs. Bennett interrupted him with,

"You guys know each other! That's wonderful! Great!" Saves me a whole lot of work.

Save it, mom, thought Liz. "So, you were saying..."

"Trey's my brother," said Ben. "He invited me, and I came. As simple as that." He smiled his charming smile.

"I see, okay, fine," she said, and went back inside the family room.

"Lizzy! Wait up!" exclaimed Mrs. Bennett, while muttering to Ben, "She's not always like this." She caught up with Liz, "Don't be rude, Lizzy. Keep Ben company, okay?"

"No, Mrs. Bennett," said Ben. "Nice of you to offer, but I'll be fine. I'd like to get freshened up. If you don't mind, can you show me to my room, please?"

"Of course!" Mrs. Bennett practically sang. "And what's all that Mrs. Bennett nonsense! Call me Fran." With that they left the family room.

As soon as Mrs. Bennett was gone, Liz sat on the couch next to Jane.

"Looks like mom is at it again," commented Jane.

"Don't I know it," sighed Liz.

"At east, Ben is nice...and decent."

"Yes, he's alright," was Liz's reply.

"So how do you know him?" asked Jane.

"I sat next to him on my flight over," replied Liz.

"Ah."

Changing topics, Liz said, "Oh Jane! I missed you so much!"

The sisters hugged each other affectionately.

"I wish you lived closer to New York," said Liz.

"Yeah, me too," smiled Jane. "But I don't think NY would be a good place to me. Too fast-paced...I'd much rather live in DC."

"I know, Jane," Liz smiled back. "But that doesn't mean I have to stop wishing."

"No, it doesn't," Jane said, softly. She was so happy to see her baby sister again. Life had been rough for her these past few months. And in Jane's opinion, nothing could be as therapeutic for a broken heart as time spend out in the country, with the family.

Meanwhile, Mr. Bennett and the Lucases were chatting themselves. Mr. Bennett really wanted to talk to Liz, but he wanted to give the girls a little time alone. No doubt, they'd like to have a quiet chat.

Liz and Jane know that now was not the best time for a girl-to-girl talk, so they decided to defer it till later. They went to where Mr. Bennett was seated.

"It's so good to have you girls back with us," said Mrs. Lucas. "It was just not the same without you."

"Thanks, Mrs. Lucas," said Liz, stealing a glance at Charlotte, who looked to be holding on pretty well. "We're glad to be here, too."

"Charlotte tells me," Mrs. Lucas continued. "that you both are staying for sometime."

"Yes," replied Liz. "As of yet, our plans are undecided. But I won't be surprised if we stay on for a week or two at least."

Charlotte looked up, sending a silent message to Liz not to make any promises. They'd be hard to keep.

Mr. Lucas said, "But you should visit us old folks more often, eh Jim?"

Mr. Bennett nodded, "Yes."

Satisfied, Mr. Lucas said, "I know there ain't anything real interesting for you city girls here, but at least you get some time off."

"We come as often as we can, dad," interrupted Char. "Really."

The rest of their conversation centered around the girls' jobs and latest crop reports. After a while, Mrs. Bennett came into the room, "Oh! Ben is just the sweetest boy! He laughs and he talks...and he's so handsome!"

"Mom!" exclaimed Jane, while Liz and Char exchanged glances.

"But it's true!" returned Mrs. Bennett. "But, anyway, I wonder why Mary and the others aren't back yet. It's been a while and - "

Just as she was saying that, they came in. Kate ran in as she saw Liz, exclaiming, "Lizzy!!! You're here!" Liz had always been her favorite sister and they got along pretty well.

They hugged, as Mary made the introductions. Trey Hamilton was a pleasant, smiling young man, with blond hair and green eyes. In fact, he was as different from Ben as two brothers could be.

"Nice to meet you," he said to Liz. "Mary has told me so much about you."

"Me too," she smiled. "I'm happy to finally meet you."

They just talked for a while. Trey was great...he was witty and funny and best of all, he seemed to really love Mary. Liz noted that Mary positively glowed from happiness. They looked so happy and lovesick that it reminded Liz of William and herself when they first got married. But she forced herself to get rid of that train of thought. Funny, how almost any thought she had, ultimately led to William in one way or another.

Suddenly Trey asked, "Is my brother here?"

Mrs. Bennett replied, "Dear Ben? Oh yes, of course...he's just taking a shower. But he should be down any minute now."

As if one cue, Ben walked into the room, his hair wet and a tight shirt clinging onto chest. "Howdy, folks!" he greeted them all. "Sorry I'm late...Trey!"

Kate's jaw dropped as she saw Ben. He looked so fine...it just blew her mind. She nudged Mary, "You gotta get me introduced...now!"

Mary smiled at her love-struck sister and went to join in on the brothers' conversation.

"And this must be lovely Mary..." said Ben.

"That's me," smiled Mary. "Ben, right?"

"You got it," Ben grinned. "It's so good to finally meet you...after hearing about you so much, it's a relief to know that you exist and are not just a figment of my brother's imagination! Really, from the way he described you, you sounded so perfect that for a time I was afraid he was hallucinating and was having that dream again!"

Mary laughed and Trey blushed self-consciously.

"No, I'm very real, I assure you," said Mary. "But I don't know about perfect..."

"Well, if Trey thinks you are, that's good enough for me," said Ben gallantly.

Mary smiled. Trey was right; Ben was a real charmer. Kate cleared her throat bringing Mary's attention to her. Mary motioned her to come over, "Ben, I'd like you to meet my sister, Kate."

"Hi," Kate smiled widely.

"Nice to meet you, Kate," he said, returning her smile.

"Me too," she said with sparkling eyes.

Liz had been watching Ben since the time he entered and for some reason or another, she felt annoyed. She didn't know why. Maybe it was because of his physical resemblance to William or perhaps it was because of his suave, flattering ways. But all Liz knew was that Ben had a way of charming everyone around him and she didn't want to fall for it.

Meanwhile, Mrs. Bennett bustled, saying, "I don't know how many of you are hungry, but I fixed a late lunch..."

"Great! I'm starved!" exclaimed Ben enthusiastically.

Everyone owned that they did have a little appetite, but really...when meeting with family and friends again, who thought about food, right? The entire group made it's way to the dining room, where a buffet lunch had been set out. It was nothing fancy, just plain old, staple Iowan food, which included, several casseroles, fresh fruit salad with marshmallows and cream, and strawberry pie (Thanks Lea Elizabeth!).

Everyone found themselves a seat around the table somewhere and it just happened that Liz found herself seated next to Ben.

"Hey Liz!" he smiled.

"Ben," she acknowledged him briefly.

"So, how are you doing?" he said conversationally.

"Much has not changed since you last saw me 20 minutes ago," she said sarcastically. "But I'm fine, thanks."

Undeterred, he continued, "Isn't it strange that we happen to be living in the same place. At the airport I though I'd never see you again, but I guess it's fate...it's so funny!"

"Hilarious," she said dryly. "I'm laughing right now." With that she left to get something from the table and then seated herself elsewhere.

Ben watched her every move. He wasn't sure why Liz disliked him so much. He was pretty sure he hadn't done anything really annoying. But in spite of that, he felt attracted to her. He didn't often meet women who could resist his good looks and charm, but it seemed to have no effect on Liz. In fact, it was working quite the opposite on her. It was really strange, but Ben felt that she was worth his time.

"Hi," said Kate as she sat down next to him.

"Oh hi," he smiled at her. "...Kate, right?"

Oh, he remembers my name! "Yes, that's right."

Ben said, "Do you live here in Iowa or are you just visiting?"

"I live here," she said. "I'm a meteorologist...I help my dad with the farm too."

"That's really good of you," he said, thinking of some way to steer the conversation over to Liz, without sounding desperate. "Well, I live in DC. I'm an Arts dealer."

"Oh?" Kate said. "That sounds so interesting."

"Yes, it is," he replied. "I love my job...it's fun and it's what I've always wanted to do. And DC's great too."

"My sister Jane lives in DC, too!" exclaimed Kate.

"Oh?" said Ben. "I've never run into her, but it's a big place. Not like New York, of course, but still...Doesn't your sister Liz live in New York?"

"How do you know?" asked Kate, mystified.

"We were on the same plane while coming over," he said. "I had to stop by NY for some work. But," he paused, then continued. "I don't think she likes me very much."

"She doesn't?!" Kate said, sounding surprised at the notion that someone did not find Ben as perfect and wonderful as she did.

"No," he said. "I think she has a rather strong dislike for me."

Kate thought for a moment, then moving closer to him, whispered, "Don't take it personally. Liz just got divorced...she's not in real good spirits."

Divorced? That explains it. "Oh, I see. It must have been bad for her."

"Yes, it was," said Kate. "But I'd appreciate it if you don't say much about it. I think Liz doesn't want to discuss it right now."

"Of course," he said. "Thanks for the info."

"You bet," Kate smiled her best smile for him.

Meanwhile, in New York

Lunch break. It was a time of the day William usually looked forward to. It was the time when he'd usually call up Liz and talk or sometimes they'd meet somewhere for lunch, her office being just a couple of blocks away. But things had changed. William no longer looked forward for lunch breaks. Usually.

But today was different. He had been waiting for it the entire morning. And it was not because he was hungry. Rather, he wanted to catch up with Charlotte and find out where Liz went.

As William was leaving his office, he said to Suzy, "I'm going to lunch in the cafeteria."

"In the cafeteria, sir?" she asked surprised. He never did that.

"Yes, in the cafeteria." Cuz that's where I can find Charlotte.

"Okay, sir," Suzy watched him leave. I guess the divorce has affected him more than I imagined, she thought. He's been acting so strangely lately. She sighed. It was a shame.

William made his way to the cafeteria apprehensively. He was having some doubts and concerns. What if Charlotte didn't know? Or didn't want to tell him? William shook those thoughts away. He'd worry about it later. He'd have to find her first.

William entered the cafeteria and searched everywhere. But there was no Charlotte. Which is logical since she was hundreds of miles away in Iowa, but William didn't know that. He searched and he searched, but in vain. Then, it occurred to him that she might be eating lunch in her office. Directly he proceeded to that venue. This is my only chance, he thought. If Charlotte doesn't help me, there's no way I'll know where Liz went. Of course, he didn't stop to think about why he wanted to know. If he did, he'd be surprised at the answer.

Charlotte's office was big and spacious. He had been there before. He went up to the receptionist and asked her, "Hi! I've come to meet Charlotte Lucas. I'm a friend."

The receptionist, Sally said, "Just one moment, I'll check whether she's in." After a couple of moments, she said, "I'm sorry, she's out."

"Out for lunch, you mean?" he asked, hoping.

"No, she's out of town...extended leave."

Dang! "Um...I don't suppose you know where?"

"I'm afraid not," said Sally, apologetically.

"Thanks anyway," he said and left.

He felt dejected. Now there was no way he'd find out where Liz had gone to. But both Liz and Charlotte being out at the same time was a strange coincidence...if it was a coincidence at all. Well, he thought. I guess that decides it. Liz is out of my life and out of my reach...forever.

Chapter 7

Posted on Monday, 22 March 1999

Bennett Farm, Iowa.

Lunch had never been a very fancy affair in the Bennett family. It simply meant lots of good food and plenty of friends and family. And when there were festivities going on, well...suffice it to say that, Mrs. Bennett was at her prime in feeding and entertaining her guests. And today was a special occasion. Her daughter was getting married soon and this was her first opportunity to meet her future son-in-law. Mrs. Bennett was one of those women whose whole life centered around getting her daughters married. And she had not been so fortunate as to be able to do that herself. Sure, Liz had been married...but they had eloped, against her wishes, and denied her the pleasure of a grand church wedding.

But Mrs. Bennett had high hopes in Mary's case. She had never thought that Mary would be the second Bennett sister to go, but here she was...a successful career, a wonderful fiancé and the promise of a wedding ring. What more could a girl ask for! Mrs. Bennett sighed satisfactorily as she watched Mary and Trey whisper sweet nothings in each others ears, oblivious to their surroundings, very much in love. She looked around to find Ben. Oh there he was, sitting with Kate, but focussing his attention on the standing figure of Liz.

Hmmm...thought Mrs. Bennett. An idea occurred to her. The only way I can help Lizzy at this time, is to find her another man. And Ben's perfect. He's smart, funny, charming, and above all he seems to like her. It'll be great...for both of them. She couldn't help noticing that Kate was looking at Ben with sappy, lovesick devotion. But he doesn't fancy her, thought Mrs. Bennett. That'll never do. No, Lizzy, it is. And Lizzy it'll be...But Mrs. Bennett knew she had a challenge in the form of Lizzy herself. She could be quite stubborn and obtuse when she wanted to. Mrs. Bennett knew that Lizzy might resist, therefore, she'd have to give her time to fall in love with Ben. After all, with such charm, it was only so long that a woman could resist.

Mrs. Bennett walked across the room, "So Ben...I hope you didn't find the food too unsatisfactory. We farm folks keep a pretty simple table."

"Are you kidding?" he smiled. "It's the best food I've tasted in a long time...definitely better than my lovely Lean Cuisine entrees!"

Mrs. Bennett was delighted, "Why, thank you! That's so nice of you! Isn't it, Kate?"

Kate was brought back to reality at the sound of her name, "Huh?"

"Never mind," Mrs. Bennett said, visually warning Kate to come back to earth. "I heard from your brother that you live in DC...it's very good of you to come all the way here."

"Oh, it's nothing," said Ben, with a wave of his hand. "My only brother got engaged...I simply had to meet the lovely lady who made him so happy."

Mrs. Bennett smiled at this compliment, "I take it you two are very close, then."

"Oh, yes," he said. "My parents died when we were still in our teens. If anything, it taught us to love and respect each other. Even thought we live thousands of miles apart, we try to keep up with each others lives. After all, he's the only family I've got."

"That's so sweet!" exclaimed Kate.

Ben bestowed a smile on her, which made her knees weak, even though she was sitting. Mrs. Bennett was satisfied. Ben was simply delightful and no woman could resist him...not for long, anyway.

Lunch was cleared up and everyone gathered in the living room. It was a beautiful, summer day - bright, warm, and breezy. It would be such a waste to stay indoors. The younger people decided to go out in the farm to show their guests around and refresh their own memories. Excepting Kate, no one had been in Iowa recently. So an afternoon out-of-doors was definitely called for.

A long walk in the vicinity was decided upon. Without much ado, they were on their way. Mary and Trey outstripped the others, soon disappearing from view. That left Jane, Liz, Charlotte, Kate and Ben.

Kate commented, "They must really want some privacy. I've never seen Mary walk that fast!"

"Ah, but love makes us all do strange things," said Ben, smilingly.

"And so it does," said Charlotte, stealing a glance at Liz, who was very busy trying to look disinterested.

"Do you guys remember that store we used hang out in?!" Jane suddenly asked.

"Oh yeah!" exclaimed Charlotte. "Betty's!"

"Is it still here, Kate?" asked Jane.

"Yes, I think so," answered Kate. "But old ma Betty died last month."

"Aww...that's a shame," joined in Liz. "She was the best."

"Yeah!" said Kate. Addressing Ben, "When we were little, we used to hang out at her store a lot. She had ice creams, soda, candies and lots of other goodies. Of course there were other important stuff like medicine or something, but we didn't care!"

Ben laughed, "I can just picture that!"

"Maybe we can all walk over to Kingsley and stop by Betty's," suggested Kate. "Of course it wouldn't be the same without Betty, but...we could give it a try."

Since no one objected, they headed towards town.

"You must find this very different from New York," Ben said to Charlotte.

"Oh, sure," Charlotte said. "But as I grew up here, it doesn't take me long to adjust to it."

"As a boy," said Ben. "I grew up in North Carolina, but lemme tell you, I've seen nothing so beautiful as the prairies in summer."

Charlotte smiled. "Oh, I agree. Definitely! Liz and I were just talking about it in the cab. You don't really appreciate it till you have to live in New York!"

Jane said, "But DC's not that bad. I rather like it there."

"As do I," said Ben. "It's kind of a southern city in many ways and we don't live as fast-paced as you New Yorkers."

"I always thought it was glamorous in its own right," said Jane.

"Yes," said Ben. "The city has character, most definitely. You have good taste!"

Jane smiled at the compliment, "Thanks...and so do you!"

They all laughed, all except Liz, who gave a thin smile. She was amazed at the rapidity at which Ben was winning everyone over. He had a gift of knowing the right things to say to people. He would flatter them and charm them and in a few hours, they'd all be eating out of his hands. But not me, thought Liz determinedly. I lost my heart in a whim once before, not again...no, never again.

Ben's physical resemblance to William was a gift of sorts. It never let Liz forget what she'd left behind. Of course, after getting to know Ben, she found out that he and William were nothing alike. That would be too coincidental. But, she could never look at Ben and not think of William. Maybe that was why she disliked him. He attracted her in more than one ways, and that was something she definitely didn't want, at that point.

The trip to Kingsley was very pleasant. The girls found their old favorite spots and stores and it brought back so many memories. They had a good time. Ben was in the top of his form and even Liz couldn't say that he didn't know how to make them laugh. By the time they were heading home, one would imagine they were all best friends.

On the way back, somehow or the other, the conversation turned to love.

"Honestly, I must admit," said Ben. "I've never really been in love."

"No kidding!" exclaimed Kate. She would have thought that Ben was the kind of guy who easily fell in and out of love.

"I'm not nearly as shallow and vain as some people might imagine," said Ben, aiming this directly at Liz. "I'm not used to declaring my love to every other random girl I meet at a bar or a party or something. I think it should be a little more meaningful than that."

"Oh, I agree," said Kate, smiling sweetly.

"But I have faith," said Ben. "One day, I'll find my true love and we'll live happily ever after!"

"Of course, life is not a fairy tale," said Liz, rather quietly. She hadn't been talking very directly to Ben, so this little statement surprised him.

"Yes, life is not a fairy tale, as you say," he said. "But don't you think we can find our true love, then?"

Liz looked directly into his eyes, "I'm not so sure about it anymore."

"Why?" he queried.

"Because I'm not that naďve anymore."

"But isn't that a rather cynical outlook at life?" he said.

"Maybe it is," she said. "But it saves you from getting hurt." That was more than she had meant to say, so she tuned her head.

Jane and Charlotte, who were lagging behind the others, saw this exchange and looked knowingly at each other.

After some moments of silence, Ben said, "Liz...do you believe in love at first sight?"

Liz looked at Ben curiously. Was he trying to give her some message? "No, I don't."

"Well, I do," he stated firmly. Then addressing Kate, "First impressions go a long way, you know. And if I'm going to love someone for the rest of my life, I'll start from the moment I see them."

"Oh! So do I!" exclaimed Kate. She wasn't sure, but she thought that it might be some sort of message for her.

They returned to Bennett Farm, just before it was all dark outside. Mary and Trey were back. The Lucases were waiting for Charlotte. As soon as she came, they got up to leave.

"Won't you stay for dinner?" asked Liz.

"No," said Charlotte. "I'll go home now, but I'll see you tomorrow. Bye!"

Dinner was a family affair with Ben and Trey making themselves at home. They were both amusing and witty and as a result, great favorites with Mr. and Mrs. Bennett as well as the girl.

"Now I know what you see in him," whispered Kate to Mary, who was sitting next to her. "Trey's wonderful!"

"Thanks, Kate," Mary was delighted.

Mrs. Bennett then told them of the situation with the rooms. Since they didn't have enough rooms for everyone to have a separate one, Jane and Lizzy would share one, as would Kate and Mary. That left 3 rooms, for Trey, Ben and the Gardiners, who'd arrive later.

"You know, mom," said Kate. "I think everyone would be much happier if I switched rooms with Trey."

"Kate!" exclaimed Mrs. Bennett, outraged. "What an idea!"

Mary and Trey blushed as they exchanged glances. Mary knew very well that her mother was prudish and would not approve of that, which was why she'd not been informed of the fact that Mary and Trey had been living together for the past 6 months.

Everyone had had a tiring day and they all left for their rooms after dinner.

As they were going up, Trey said to Kate, "Nice try, Kate!"

"Well, I don't exactly enjoy sharing rooms with my sister!" said Kate.

"But I do," said Trey, mischievously.

"Hey!" cried Kate. "That's more than I wanted to know about you!"

Meanwhile, Jane and Liz were rather pleased at the idea of sharing rooms. It'd give them a chance to talk in peace.

Orison's Restaurant and Bar, New York

William didn't visit bars and such very often. He never needed to; he always had Lizzy with him. Moreover, he wasn't the most experienced alcohol drinker and he could never forget that one fatal drink of alcohol had been responsible for his life being where it was. But he knew he'd have to get over that. There was no point looking for a scapegoat now. It'd do no good whatsoever.

William smiled to himself, cynically. He felt like the biggest loser in the world. There he was, alone, in a bar, drinking whiskey and feeling sorry for himself. If his parents taught him one thing, it was to maintain your dignity and self-respect at all costs. He couldn't lose sight of that now. So what if he was going through a crisis in his life. It wasn't the end of the world. Maybe it was just time for him to move on.

William motioned the bartender to give him more whiskey. William felt a sudden surge of power. He felt stronger than he had for a long time.

As he was drinking, a woman came and sat down next to him. He noticed that she was blond and very pretty. She looked vaguely familiar, but he could not place her. Oh well, he let it go. She glanced thoughtfully at him as if trying to recognize him, but apparently, she gave it up too and ordered a scotch.

Their eyes met and they smiled politely at each other. At length, the girl said,

"Don't I know you from somewhere?"

"I don't know," he said. "I've been asking myself the same thing."

"Well...Amber Jefferson," she said, extending her hand.

"William Darcy," said William, shaking her hand. "Oh! So that's where we've met! Are you related to Danny Jefferson from Jefferson & co?!"

"Related?! I'm his daughter!" said Amber. "I was there the other day, when you came over!"

"Yes," said William. "Now, I remember." After a brief pause, "Can I buy you a drink?"

"Sure, thanks," she smiled.

Chapter 8A

Posted on Saturday, 27 March 1999

Bennett Farm, Iowa

As Liz and Jane ascended the stairs to their room, Ben caught up with them.

"Good night, you guys," he said, cheerfully.

"You too, Ben," smiled Jane at him.

Liz increased her pace and moved ahead of them. Ben looked questioningly at Jane, but she just shrugged her shoulders. She knew she'd have to talk to her sister. Whatever had happened in the past few months, not many people knew...and Jane wanted to find out. That was the only way she could help her.

20 minutes later; Jane and Liz's room

Liz had changed into her nightgown and was quietly brushing her hair. Jane was in bed already, and she observed her sister, hoping she would talk to her on her own. But apparently, that would never happen.

"Ben is a great guy, isn't he?" Jane casually observed.

"Very charming," said Liz, shortly.

"Yes, very charming," agreed Jane, thankful that they were finally talking. "It was amazing how quickly he made himself at home and befriended everyone."

"I wasn't amazed," said Liz, still looking at the mirror. "Guys like him live for attention and what better way to get it than charm the locals."

"Lizzy!" Jane admonished her. "What's gotten into you! Why are you so uncivil to Ben?"

Liz turned around and stared at Jane, "Don't tell me you don't see the resemblance."

"I do," Jane said, with emphasis. "But it's not his fault, is it?"

"No, it's not," Liz was fair-minded. "But it makes things far worse for me." Liz turned her back to Jane, and she knew that Liz was crying.

"My poor, baby!" Jane exclaimed, as she rushed to Liz's side. "Oh, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to bring back memories."

Liz dried her eyes, as she smiled at Jane, "Don't worry about it, Jane. It's my own fault for being too emotional. What's the big deal?! Thousands of people get divorced...only...I never thought, I would be one of them."

Jane looked sympathetically at Liz, feeling all her pain, "Please tell me, Liz. I remember a time when you told me everything...we're sisters! I can help you...but you have to tell me." Jane had a pleading look about her.

Liz looked at her thoughtfully, "I guess you could be right...no one knows...even Charlotte."

"It won't help to keep things bottled inside," said Jane. "You were hurt...that's nothing to be ashamed of. It happens. Things didn't work out the way you planned. So what? You can't let that stop you."

Liz smiled at her sister's spirit. Maybe that's what she needed, some spirit. "You're right, Jane," she said. "I'll tell you, then, if you think you can handle all the gory details."

"Try me."

Liz gave a tiny smile and settled herself on her own bed, while Jane lay on hers. "Okay, you asked for it...so here goes." She paused, "But first, promise me you won't hate William because of this."

God, she still loves him! "Of course, if you want me to."

Liz sighed, "Where do I begin...five years is such a long time..."

"Begin at the beginning," advised Jane. She knew that this was going to be hard on her sister, but she'd have to tell someone, sooner or later, and it might as well be now.

"Okay, if you want," said Liz. "You know all this already, but I'll put things into perspective...5 years ago, I was a silly, naďve, gullible schoolgirl, who believed in true love and was incredibly stupid about it."

"Lizzy!" interrupted Jane. "Don't be so hard on yourself."

"No, Jane," said Liz. "Let the blame rest where it should. It was my own fault...I shouldn't have been so precipitate...but, anyway, NYU was great! A big city with more people than I ever saw in Iowa. For the first year, I was just overwhelmed by everything. I was terribly homesick and felt rather lonely...that was when I first met...him."

Jane heard her sharp intake of breath, but said nothing. Liz continued, "We met and it was probably the most wonderful thing that ever happened. I think it was love at first sight, for me at least." Liz stopped again.

"Liz..." Jane said. "You don't have to do this, if you don't want to. The last thing I'd want is for you to feel pressured into confiding in me."

Liz smiled at her sister. "Dear Jane, always so considerate, always the angel. Oh! I missed you so much! But don't worry...I'll survive...it feels better already, telling you about it. So...as I was saying, it was love at first sight. Now in reflection, I think it couldn't have been "real" love since we were both so young, but that didn't stop us. We dated steadily all through freshman and most of sophomore year in college. And then, it happened, we decided to get married and live off campus."

Liz saw her sister listening intently, "I know that you know much of what I'm telling you, but I think it's better this way. I think our problem started at the beginning." She paused, "I remember we were so very young...I was only 20. I called dad and he warned me not to go through with it, but no! I was too smart to listen to that!"

"The next year and half were probably the best years in my life. William's parents didn't approve of the match, so they refused to help us with our expenses. It was a time for struggle. We both went to school, worked 25 hours a week in odd jobs, and tried to have some sort of a life. Now I wonder what the hurry was, but I guess the rashness of youth knows no reason."

"Lizzy!" Jane laughed. "You make it sound like you're old now. But you're only 25, remember? If you're old, I'm a grandma!"

Liz smiled at this, "But I think, I've really matured extraordinarily these past few years. Anyway, college was the easy part. No matter what hardships we faced, at least we were together. The real troubles started when we graduated. It was then that I realized that we belonged to different worlds...I was still a struggling painter, but William...he was destined to be a business tycoon. His father made up with him, and paid for his higher education, meaning, he became a CPA."

Liz sighed, remembering the past, "For 6 months during his training, I hardly saw him at all. It was a lonely time for me. But that was nothing. After that, things really got busy. William always had to fly from one part of the country to another, from one country to another. I knew it was important for him...so I said nothing, trying to make the best of the time we had together. He found nothing unnatural with the situation, cuz that's the way his parents had lived. But I wanted more...I wanted him to spend some time with me...not always, but just...you know..."

Jane nodded sympathetically, as Liz continued, "It might sound rather possessive to you, but I really tried to be fair-minded, but one day, last year it really ticked me off. He told me he'd be there for my birthday, but he never showed up. Apparently, some important clients in LA held him up. That was it. We fought. I asked him which was more important, me or his job. He said, both, but right the day after that, he left for Hawaii. Then, I knew...what really mattered. I called his office, and his secretary told me that this was a matter of millions, very important, apparently. And I felt that maybe I was being a little unfair. After all, he had often offered to take me with him, but I didn't want to leave my job either."

Liz smiled cynically, "I guess, I was still naďve. I took the next plane to Hawaii, hoping to find him there and make up, but...who should I find sleeping in his room, but his partner Caroline." Liz was bitter. "All my disillusions faded away. I flew back to New York and filed for divorce. I guess I knew that our marriage was over."

Tears flew freely, but Jane didn't stop her. It was, after all, a justified human emotion. Liz tried her tears, "Of course, it's my fault too. I took our marriage for granted and thought that nothing could spoil it. What a fool I was!"

Jane understood her sister's bitterness, and she said, "But Lizzy, what did he have to say?!"

"William? Oh, he was sweet about it and tried to tell me it was all a mistake, but I knew deep down, that it would be for the best. He probably needs someone from his own background, someone who understand his job better." Liz let out a laugh, "Someone who's not me."

"I'm sorry, Liz," said Jane, quietly. "I'm so, so sorry. I wish there was some way I could help you. but do you think you can ever forgive him?"

"I don't blame him, Jane," said Liz, with a sigh. "I really, honestly don't. It didn't work out. It was both our faults. So there's no question about forgiveness."

"Not many women would be so generous in the same situation," observed Jane. "But, then, why are you so hostile to Ben?"

Liz thought for a moment, "I said I didn't blame William, but that doesn't mean I don't want to forget him. Ben reminds me too much of him, Jane."

"I understand," said Jane. "But you can try to be a little more polite. I don't want you to marry the guy."

"Not you, maybe. But mom does," smiled Liz. "But fine, I'll behave better, okay?"

"Thank you," said Jane. "Good-night, Lizzy. Sweet dreams."

"You too, Jane."

And the sisters went to sleep.

Chapter 8B

Posted on Sunday, 28 March 1999

Meanwhile, at Orison's, New York

There's nothing like a couple of drinks to loosen one up and get rid of one's sorrow, and that's exactly what William and Amber were doing. They drank and they talked. It was as if they were old friends, and not like they'd just met.

"William..." said Amber. "I recall hearing that you were married..."

A very drunk William replied, "I am, I mean...uh...I was...I'm divorced..."

"Oh," she said. "Sorry 'bout that."

"No problem," he said, unsteadily, motioning the bartender to fill up his glass. "It was all my fault, you know..."

"Really?" she said, with some interest. Normally, Amber wasn't a very inquisitive person, but in this case, she was very interested in William's history. The fact that, she too, was drunk, must have contributed to that. "But what did you do?"

"I was a jerk," he slurred. "A big, offensive jerk...and I drove her away..."

"No, you're not a jerk," Amber complimented him.

"No, but I was," William claimed. "I urged her to marry me when we were still in college, and then...and then...I left her..."

"You left her?" repeated Amber, with her eyes open wide.

"No, no, I didn't leave her," William said, hurriedly. "I mean I did leave her...uh...alone...all by herself...while I was away. But I didn't mean to...I was just trying to do my job..."

"I believe you," said Amber, sweetly.

"No, but it was worse...we fought...I missed her birthday," William was in a pitiable state by now, almost incapable of coherent speech. "And then, she caught me in bed...with...Caroline..."

"You were sleeping with another woman?!" exclaimed Amber. She wasn't drunk enough to miss that.

"NO, no...at least I didn't mean to," said William. "I don't know...I don't remember what happened that day...I remember I was at the bar, drinking...then the next thing...poof...I was in my hotel room, and Caroline...she, she was beside me...and then, Lizzy walked in...then it was all over..."

William hung his head, hiding his unseemly tears. Amber stroked the back of his head, saying, "Oh, William...it's okay."

He raised his head in surprise, "Lizzy!!! You're back! Oh, Lizzy!" He proceeded to bring his mouth to hers, and kiss her very deeply and passionately.

When, the kiss finally ended, Amber started to say, "But I'm not.."

William cut in, "Oh! You're not my Lizzy...you can't be...Lizzy isn't blonde...unless..."

Amber affirmed, "No, William, I'm not Lizzy." Though I can't say I detested the fact that you mistook me for her. The kiss had had no little effect on Amber.

William almost cried, "Oh...I don't know where she is...she's gone...oh, Lizzy! Come back...please...Lizzy!!!" William was extremely drunk by now. And then, he passed out.

The next morning; 6 am, Iowa

Lizzy was a morning person. She was usually up with the sunshine and it was no different today. She had so many things on her mind that she decided that a little morning exercise would do no harm. She got dressed, checked up on Jane, who was still asleep and dreaming, and left for her habitual 2 mile morning jog.

The air was cool and crisp and the birds were awake. Things always seemed much brighter to Liz in the morning. She thought about her talk with Jane the day before. Maybe it had not been such a bad idea, after all. There was one person on the planter who knew what she'd been through. She knew that she could rely on Jane to keep it secret, and she also knew that she could talk more when she wished. That's why, she loved her sister.

Liz thought back on what Jane had said about Ben. Maybe she was right. It wasn't his fault that he resembled William, so why punish him for that? It was a valid question and Liz knew she'd have to come to a decision about that. But reluctant to do so immediately, Liz turned on her CD man radio and listened to some music.

I thought I saw a man brought to life,
He was warm, he came around,
Like he was dignified,
He showed me what it was to cry...
Well, you couldn't be that man I adored.
You don't seem to know,
Seem to care, what your heart is for,
But I don't know him anymore,
There's nothing where he used to lie,
My conversation has run dry,
That's what's going on. Nothing's fine I'm torn...

Cool, thought Liz as she jogged. I like this song. But it's too depressing for so early in the morning. Oh well...

I'm all out of faith,
This is how I feel,
I'm cold and I am shamed,
Lying naked on the floor,
Illusion never changed,
Into something real,
I'm wide awake and
I can see the perfect sky is torn,
You're a little late, I'm already torn.

This reminded her a little of her situation with William and Ben. She smiled. It was so ironic.

So I guess the fortune teller's right,
I should have seen just what was there
And not some holy light,
But you crawled beneath my veins and now,
I don't care, I have no luck,
I don't miss it all that much,
There's just so many things,
That I can't touch I'm torn.

Liz hummed the tune with Natalie, trying to make sense of her own life, all the while enjoying the song.

There's nothing where he used to lie,
My inspiration has run dry,
That's what's going on ... nothing's right I'm torn

I'm all out of faith,
This is how I feel,
I'm cold and I'm ashamed,
Lying naked on the floor,
Illusion never changed,
Into something real,
I'm wide awake and
I can see the perfect sky is torn

I'm all out of faith,
This is how I feel,
I'm cold and I'm ashamed,
Bound and broken on the floor,
You're a little late, I'm already torn,

Torn.*

The song ended and Liz was no closer to coming to a decision at the end as she was at the beginning. She sighed and turned off her CD man. She had jogged quite a way away from the main house. it was not even in sight anymore. Suddenly, she saw a figure jogging towards her from the opposite direction. Who it was, proved indiscernible due to the distance, but at length Liz found out. It was Ben.

"Hey!" he greeted her. "Good morning!"

"Good morning," she returned, in a tolerably cheerful tone.

"I didn't think anybody would be up at this hour," he smiled cheerfully. "But it was so pretty that I just had to come out!"

"Yeah," replied Liz. "Me too."

"Mind if I join you," asked Ben. "It gets rather lonely jogging by yourself, after a while. I mean, there's not a soul in sight!"

Liz was a little hesitant, but she said, "Okay...fine."

"Cool," he said, as they jogged on for sometime with minimal conversation. Only Ben talked now and again, commenting on the birds or the trees or lack thereof.

Suddenly, he addressed Liz with, "Liz?"

"Yes?"

"Can I ask you something?"

Now what?! "Sure..." she said aloud.

"Why do you hate me?" Ben didn't believe in beating around the bush.

"Excuse me?" she was surprised.

"I want to know why you hate me," repeated Ben. "Don't worry, I won't be hurt. Just be honest. What is it? Was it something I said? Or did? What? It's kept me awake whole night and I still can't figure it out...please?"

Liz stopped jogging and looked at him steadily, "Hate is always a strong word in my dictionary, but you might say that I've been avoiding you..."

"Don't I know that!" Ben commented wryly.

"I could tell you a number of things," she continued, ignoring him. "But I'd go with...the truth?"

"The truth."

"Okay," she said, pausing to think. "You resemble, very closely, someone I knew, someone who I was very close to, someone I want to forget."

"That's all?" asked Ben.

"That's all."

"And here I was thinking I grossly violated your sense of decorum or something!" joked Ben. Turning serious, "But this is a relief. At least I know that I wasn't being a jerk or anything."

"No, you weren't," said Liz. Adding with a sly gleam in her eyes, "Though it kills me to say it..."

"I'm hurt!" he said, with mock seriousness.

Liz laughed. Ben smiled. This is better, he thought, way better.

"But Liz..." he said. "Can you ever try to forget that...or will you always hold it against me?"

Liz looked into his dark eyes, for a moment thinking it was William standing before her. But shaking herself, she said, "No, Ben, I won't. I'm sorry. I've been behaving really badly towards you and it wasn't your fault. Forgive me?" There, she thought, Jane will be very proud of me.

"Of course!" he said, enthusiastically. "Would I ever say no to such a lovely lady?!"

Liz blushed at the compliment, "From what I've seen so far, no!"

Ben laughed. They turned to walk back to the house. Liz said, "Tell me...do you always charm everyone around you?"

"Ah, madam!" he said in his best French accent, bowing slightly. "What a question to ask?!"

Liz was highly amused, "What if a lady refuses to be charmed?"

Ben smiled, "Ah, but madam, I have yet to meet with such a lady!"

"Isn't that rather vain of you?" said Liz, with some earnestness.

"You have figured me out!" Ben said. "But it is true! We Frenchmen are proud of our charm and finesse."

"Is that so?" said Liz, repressing a giggle. "Most of the Frenchmen I met were rather dull."

"Not this Frenchman, madam," Ben said, with mock contempt. "I made you laugh, didn I not?"

"That you did," Liz agreed.

"Then may I kiss your hand?" he said, with a bow.

Liz giggled. "Oh my! He's chivalrous too!" But she gave him her hand, which he kissed tenderly.

"Merci, madam!" Ben grinned. (Thank you.)

"Je vous en prie," replied Liz with a perfect French accent. (You are welcome.)

They were almost at the door of the house.

"Breakfast?" asked Liz.

Ben nodded and held the door for her, "After you, madam."

Liz smiled and went in thinking that maybe she had misjudged Ben. He wasn't that bad after all.

Chapter 9

Posted on Sunday, 4 April 1999

New York

William stirred. The sun was shining through the curtains...it was morning. He looked at the watch -- 7:30. He rubbed his head. It hurt like hell. He felt as if he'd dropped a ton of bricks on it. Figures, he thought. 5 hours worth of stupid, senseless drinking will do that to a man. He attempted to get up and get some coffee, but fell back on the bed. Hangovers were always especially bad for him.

He tried to remember how he'd got back home, but couldn't. He racked his brains, painful as it was, but still couldn't remember. He knew that he was in quite a state last night and there was no way he could have made his way to his apartment alone. And yet, here he was safe and sound, except for that splitting headache and the overwhelming desire to vomit.

Suddenly the phone rang. William got up, successfully, this time. "Hello?" he said, groggily.

"Oh, William...you're up! I was just checking on you!" said a cheerful, bright voice.

"Sorry," said William, trying to place the voice. "Do I know you?"

"William! It's me! Amber!" cried Amber. "Don't you remember? We met at Orison's yesterday!"

A light went on in William's brain, "Oh gosh! I'm so sorry, Amber...just hung-over and all that."

"I can imagine that," said Amber. "You don't drink often, do you?"

"No," said William.

"I could tell," said Amber. "And yet you drank so much yesterday. Not smart, huh?"

"Yeah, I know," said William, sheepishly. A thought struck him, "Hey! How'd you get my number?"

Amber laughed, "Ever heard of a...directory?"

William smiled, "Right, a directory." He paused, "Do you know how I got home? I can't seem to recall."

Amber gave a short laugh, "Oh that! I called you a cab after obtaining your address with no inconsiderable pain, mind you."

"Shish...was I that drunk?" asked William.

"Yep!'

"Thanks, Amber," said William. "You don't know how grateful I am."

"You're welcome," said Amber. "Just don't go out for such a night on town, again!"

William laughed, "No, I won't." He paused, remembering the events of the previous night. He couldn't recall a thing, except...Oh god! "Amber...?"

"Yes?"

"Can I ask you something about last night?"

"Sure."

"Was I...um...did I...that is to say...did I do anything...wrong?" William was uncomfortable.

"Wrong...?" Amber said. "Not that I recall...except that you were drunk."

Thank god! William said, "You see, I don't handle drinks that well and can never seem to remember much afterwards. It happened once before and...cost me dearly, very dearly."

"I know," said Amber.

I told her?? I must have been really be drunk. "Well...I have to go to work..."

"Me too!" said Amber. "Maybe I'll call you tonight."

"Sure," said William. "Oh...actually tonight's no good...I'm having dinner with a friend. But I'll call you. what's your number?" She gave it to him, "Ok, thanks. Bye!"

"Bye, William," said Amber, and they both hung up.

William rubbed his head thoughtfully as he reflected on his conversation with Amber. He liked her. She was a good friend. And that's what he needed right now. A good friend. He got up to dress and face the day. Another battle. His eyes fell on an old graduation picture of him and Lizzy smiling happily at the camera. He looked away. That picture just made him sad. He went to the shower to cool off...and take his thoughts off of someone...someone very dear and far away.

Meanwhile, in Bennett Farm, Iowa.

Liz was making fresh pancakes for breakfast, while Ben was brewing some coffee. Apparently, they were the only ones up.

"Want some eggs, too?" asked Liz.

"Sure," said Ben. "But I'll make it." Seeing her frown slightly, he added, "Don't worry...I won't poison you."

Liz smiled, "No, it wasn't that. Go ahead. But if I don't like them, then...?"

Ben replied with a gleam, "Oh, but I'll make sure you like them! Scrambled?"

Liz nodded, and they both got to work. Liz started humming a tune to herself. Ben was aware of every move she made, in spite of the fact that he had his back to her. He could feel her presence and smell her fragrance. Ben shook his head. Liz was messing with his head, and he knew that he was falling for it...bad.

Just then, they heard footsteps. Jane and Kate appeared.

"Good morning! You guys are up early!" commented Jane, taking a seat.

"Yeah, well, you know me," said Liz, smiling at her sisters. "Want some pancakes?"

"Sure," said Kate. "Why not? You're the best cook I know!"

Ben said, smilingly, "You might change your mind on that one. Wait till you taste my eggs!"

"You are so vain. It makes me sick!" Liz teased him.

"Oh yeah?!" he laughed back. "Then let's see whose food tastes better?"

Liz laughed, "Okay...you're on. But if I beat you bad, it's not my problem."

"Talk about vain. Ha!" Ben muttered under his breath.

"Hey! I heard that!" Liz cried, putting some pancake mix on his nose.

Ben retaliated by pulling off her scrunchy, letting her black, curly hair go wild. He had been wanting to do that for a long time, and now he finally got the chance. There!

"Okay, okay, truce," said Liz, hastily. Her hair got in her way. "Give it back!"

Ben gave it back to her. "Okay...let's hit it!"

And they both got to work. Jane and Kate just exchanged glances, each with a completely different thought in their mind. While Jane was pleased to see the drastically improved relations between Lizzy and Ben, Kate could not help but wonder why every time, Liz got the guy, her guy.

Chapter 10

Posted on Tuesday, 13 April 1999

Bennett Farm, Iowa

As the smell of homemade breakfast spread through the house, all the residents arose to join the group in the kitchen. Lizzy, always the highly-praised cook, was duly commended, and Ben's scrambled eggs were undoubtedly a huge success. It was very much a family gathering with little ceremony and no formalities. Easy conversation and light banter made the atmosphere, friendly and familiar. Everyone felt at home.

Plans were being made for the day.

"I really want to go to the stables today!" said Liz.

"I didn't know you rode horses," commented Ben with a smile.

"There are many things about me you don't know," returned Liz before addressing her dad with. "Dad, is Sugar still at the stables."

Jim Bennett nodded slightly over his coffee, "Yes, I think so. The last time I went, she was there, but it has been a while. But it's a great idea Liz...go and have fun!"

Liz was very excited. Riding was one of the pleasures that she really missed in New York. The wide open spaces, the country air...ah...that was the way to do it. Liz, Kate, Jane, and Ben decided to go riding and Liz assumed that Charlotte would go, too since her passion for horses equaled if not exceeded Liz's. Trey and Mary would go off to have a quiet day to themselves, and since the Gardiners were due to arrive later in the day, Mr. and Mrs. Bennett would be busy with their preparations.

After breakfast was cleared up, Liz said, "Well...since the stables don't open till about an hour and a half, I suggest we meet down here in a bit."

They all agreed that it sounded like a good plan and dispersed.

As Liz ascended the stairs, Ben came up behind her and whispered in her ears, "I won!"

Liz spun around, "Won what?!"

"The unofficial contest!" Ben said. "My eggs won far more compliments than your pancakes."

Liz laughed, "Jeez! Now we know which one of us is more mature!"

"No," smiled Ben. "Now we know which one of us is the better cook!"

Liz shook her head, "I give up. You are incorrigible!"

"Absolutely!" Ben bowed. "And am, as always, at your service." Observing Liz's giggling, he added, "Now, race you to your room!" And he began to run. Liz followed close behind, saying, "Hey! No fair!"

The changed relations between Liz and Ben did not go unnoticed by anyone, especially Mrs. Bennett, who mentally calculated the time before they'd get married. She was very ecstatic and expressed her hopes to Mr. Bennett, "Ah...looks like Ben and Lizzy hit it off! I'm so glad. Now poor Lizzy can mend her broken heart. And he's such a dear, too. I knew god would be good to us!"

Mr. Bennett, though pretending not to hear his wife, was actually listening quite intently. He, too, had observed Ben and Liz this morning and was concerned about Liz. Though he was far from expecting their matrimony at this point, like some others, he was worried that, due to the circumstances, Liz might rush into something that she'd regret later. Liz had always been very precipitate.

He shook away his thoughts to find Fran still talking about Liz and Ben. He sighed, "Fran...give it a break, okay? Ben is a good guy, but I'm not sure he wants to marry our daughter yet."

"Sure, he does!" said Mrs. Bennett emphatically. "Didn't you see the way he kept looking at her when he thought no one was watching." Seeing Mr. Bennett's skeptic look, she added, "Oh, it's a woman thing! You'd never notice. But trust me, that boy is head over heals in love with Lizzy...now all she has to do is love him back!"

Mr. Bennett shook his head in despair. Knowing that he'd get no peace, he got up, "If anyone wants me, I'll be in the library."

30 minutes later, in the library

There was a soft knock on the door, indicating that it could not be Mrs. Bennett for she always barged in.

"Yes? Come in," said Mr. Bennett.

Lizzy opened the door and came in. "Hi dad! Hope I'm not disturbing you."

Mr. Bennett smiled, "Of course not! You could never disturb me. Come on in." Lizzy sat down opposite him on the couch. "The question is what reminded you of your poor father. I thought you were going riding."

"I am," said Liz. "The others aren't ready yet, so I thought I'd come in here. This room always makes me feel warm and nice."

"Me too," said Mr. Bennett. "But I'm hurt! I thought you came here for me."

Liz laughed, "That too! Gee dad, you sound just like Ben."

Mr. Bennett looked at her intently, trying to discern her feelings for aforementioned Ben. "Ah, yes...Ben. Delightfully charming young man, isn't he?"

"Yes," said Liz, with a glint in her eyes. "Definitely charming! And he also considers himself god's gift to womankind!"

After a brief thoughtful pause, Liz added, "But, he's not all bad. He's just a little vain, that's all, but nothing some good company can't cure."

Mr. Bennett nodded lightly, thinking of a way to steer the conversation in the desired direction. "Yes, he's not bad. Not many women would find him so. He has an air about him...oh, I don't know...but you women fall for it every time."

Liz smiled, "Yes, we sure do. I can easily imagine Ben smoothly charm a room full of women in matter of minutes. They'd all fall for him."

Then, Mr. Bennett asked the critical question, "But would you?"

Liz looked at him queerly, "Would I what?"

"Fall for him?" said Mr. Bennett.

Liz looked at him for a moment, then laughed, "Ha-ha...that's funny! That's a joke, right?" Seeing her dad's serious eyes, she calmed down, "Oh...you're serious. Have you been talking to mom?"

Mr. Bennett nodded. Liz smiled, "That explains it. She would put that idea into your head. No, I'm not marrying Ben, if that's what you're concerned about."

Unconsciously, Mr. Bennett let out a huge sigh of relief, "Of course...um...it was just..."

"We're just friends, dad!" Liz cried. "We hardly know each other! We can't be in love in such a short time. That'd be strange, even for me. And besides, Ben's not my type. Charming, yes, but definitely not my type."

Mr. Bennett grinned, "That teaches me to listen to your mom!"

Liz laughed shortly, "Yeah! But, dad, in a way, I envy you." She rushed to explain, "I mean, you were able to do what many of us can't...stay committed to your marriage through all its trials and tribulations."

Mr. Bennett saw a sudden change in mood in his daughter. This was the first time Liz alluded to her divorce, and Mr. Bennett was glad of the opportunity it offered. "Yes, I guess...but Lizzy...marriage is an art. It takes two to make it, but just one to break it."

Liz nodded understandingly.

Mr. Bennett continued, "It takes a lifelong commitment and a whole lot of love to make it last. Some people get it and some people don't. That's just the way it is."

"I know..." said Liz. "I guess, I'm just one of the those who don't get it. I just wish there was something I could have done..."

"Lizzy, regrets won't achieve anything, only make you miserable," Mr. Bennett said. "Think of the past, only as its remembrance gives pleasure."

Liz smiled wanly, "You're right. I'm sorry."

Just then, someone knocked, and Ben's head appeared, "We're all ready Liz. Waiting for you. Coming?"

"Yeah! Be right there," she said. Getting up, she kissed her dad on his cheeks, "Bye dad! See you later!"

"Bye hon." He said. "Have fun!" Mr. Bennett watched his daughter leave the library. He was glad they'd had that talk. It let him know a lot about what his daughter was going through. She still loved the no-good William, of that he was sure. And as much as she denied it, Mr. Bennett also assessed that she was attracted to Ben, but could not admit it to herself or others. It was all very confused. Oh well. Thought Mr. Bennett. Let's see what happens. No matter what, all he wanted was Liz's happiness.

Later that day; The Stables, Iowa

Most of the day had been spent in the stables, either riding or lounging about. Liz and Charlotte re-visited some of their favorite spots again, showing them to Ben, who turned out to be a great horseman and riding enthusiast. Jane and Kate, who were not used to so much exercise, took some time off to just sit down and observe the others.

"I see Ben and Lizzy are getting along great!" commented Kate, as she saw them walking with one of the horses together.

"Yeah, it seems so," said Jane.

"He's been charming her all day," Kate said, staring at them directly.

"That's Ben, I guess," Jane replied, stealing a curious look at her sister, wondering what had gotten into her.

"She seems to have gotten over her divorce soon enough," continued Kate, with a hint of bitterness.

"Kate!" cried Jane. "That's not fair. You know that!"

Kate looked away. "Yeah, I guess..."

"You don't know how much Lizzy has been suffering," Jane told her. "Ben is a good influence. He takes her mind off her recent pain. You should be happy for her."

Kate said nothing, feeling guilty and angry at the same time.

Jane was concerned, "Kate...look at me." She turned Kate to face her. "Do you...do you like Ben...by any chance?"

Kate remained silent, but her eyes conveyed what Jane wanted to know.

"Oh my!" Jane exclaimed. "You do! But...but you don't need to be jealous of Lizzy...they're just friends. Liz isn't looking for love right now. And Ben's just a regular charmer."

A glimmer of hope shone in Kate's eyes, "You think?"

"Sure!" Jane assured her. "There's nothing more to it."

Just as Jane was said that, a feminine scream echoed through the surrounds, signaling that something was wrong. Jane and Kate looked about and saw a sight that disturbed them. Lizzy lay still on the ground, with Ben and Charlotte by her side. They ran to the scene.

"What happened?" Jane asked breathlessly, approaching them.

Charlotte said, "Lizzy was riding Sugar when something scared him and he threw her down...she hit her head hard..."

Lizzy wasn't moving. Ben cried out, "Come on! We have to get her to a hospital...it might be a concussion."

And they carried her off.

Meanwhile; 7 p.m., New York City

William stood outside Caroline's door bracing himself for the evening ahead. He knew that she wanted to establish their friendship once again, hence the dinner invitation. But under the circumstances, he'd much rather stay at home. But, just to show that he was ready to forget what had happened at that fatal night at Hawaii, William had decided to accept Caroline's invitation. After all, the entire mess that was his life couldn't be Caroline's fault, or so he figured. Without further ado, he rang the bell.

"Coming!" a voice practically sang from inside, and moments later Caroline appeared at the door. She was dressed in a striking, black dress with a plunging neckline. Caroline was a beautiful woman, no questions asked, but what frustrated her most was the lack of effect that fact had on William. "Hi William! Oh my! Wine for me! And Chateau Bordeaux too! Must be my lucky day!" She ushered him inside.

William smiled wanly at her enthusiasm, not attempting to match it. "Glad you like it, Caroline. I'm not too fond of it myself. But it used to be Elizabeth's favorite."

Caroline smiled at him sweetly, all the time cursing Elizabeth. Gee! He hasn't been in here I minute and already started on that tart! Boy, do I need a drink! Aloud she said, "Sit down, William. I'll get you something to drink."

William seated himself, looking around. Caroline had a very eclectic sense of style and her decorations mirrored that. He admired it. He saw a huge, striking canvas painting over her fireplace and caught himself thinking Elizabeth would have loved that. But as soon as he did, he was dismayed. He had promised himself not to think about her so much, but it seemed that he couldn't go five steps without running into something that reminded him of her. It was all a big waste of time; this trying to forget her. That would obviously never happen...anytime soon.

Caroline came back with some drinks for William. "I'm back! So, how'd you like this room...it's newly redecorated."

William smiled appreciatively at her, "Very nice. I like your taste."

"Thank you," Caroline blushed at the compliment. "I aim to please."

After quietly sipping her drink for sometime, Caroline said, "So...where were you last night? I called, but you weren't there."

William replied, "Oh, I was out. Went to this bar."

"Ah-ha!" Caroline exclaimed. "Meet anyone special?"

"No!" William said defensively. "Though I did make friends with an interesting lady...a client, actually...Amber Jefferson."

"Really?" Caroline said, mockingly. "That explains the late outing." She could not help but be jealous. New competition was just not her thing.

"That's so not true," William said. "But you already knew that."

Caroline laughed a relieved laugh, saying, "Of course I did."

They talked on about a variety of subjects, just like friends, just like it had been. No one alluded to Lizzy. It was off limits and they both preferred to have it that way. Caroline had made an elaborate dinner with William's favorite spaghetti, chicken, salad and desert. As she said, she aimed to please.

After dinner, they had some more drinks, and were both a little drunk. Caroline put on some soft music and sat next to William. She rested her head on his shoulders and he didn't protest. Encouraged, and feeling very bold, she brought her fingers to his forehead removing some of his errant curls. Her fingers traveled lazily across his face, while her other hand touched his legs. She brought her lips close to his ears breathing softly.

Suddenly, William flung her away and got up. He turned to face her. "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

Caroline looked at him with a hurt expression. "What do you mean?"

"You know exactly what I mean," William almost yelled. "Caroline! This was supposed to be a friendly dinner, remember? What's the deal here? Did I misread your intentions?"

"Calm down, William," Caroline said evenly. "It was a mistake...sorry."

"Just like Hawaii was a mistake," said William. "God...I wish it'd never happened."

"But it did and it's over," Caroline said. "So just forget about it, okay?"

"How can I?" William demanded. "When that one single night caused me my marriage?"

"Hey! You can't go on blaming it on me!" Caroline hissed. "It was your fault too, you know."

William couldn't argue with that. "Yes...but if only Lizzy had understood..."

Caroline was frustrated. "Lizzy! Lizzy! Lizzy! It's always about Lizzy. God, if that b**** really loved you she'd never have left you in the first place."

And the next thing she knew, a resounding slap echoed through the room. William glared at her, "If I ever hear you say anything about my Lizzy again...god help you. I love her and always will. Nothing can ever change that. So get that in the thick skull of yours and just leave me alone." With that he stormed from the room and moments later Caroline heard the front door close.

William was seething with anger and he couldn't think straight. He needed someone to talk to. Someone who'd listen and understand. Someone warm and nice. Only one name popped to his mind. A little later, he came to an apartment door and rang the bell.

The door opened. William said, "Hi Amber! Sorry to bother you...but can I come in?"

"Sure," she said, dressed in her nightgown. "What happened?"

Chapter 11

Posted on Tuesday, 1 June 1999

New York City

Amber led William into her spacious apartment wondering what had happened. William looked distraught and he didn't appear very drunk either. She was at loss to figure out what could have occurred. It had to be something to do with the dinner he was going to have with his friend.

"What's the matter, William," she asked again, motioning him to be seated. "Can I get you a glass of water?"

"Please," said William, sitting down. "I think I need that right now." He waited while she brought the water and then sat down opposite him.

"Now tell me, what's the matter?" asked Amber, with a concerned look in her eyes.

"I hit her, I can't believe I hit her!" William exclaimed. "I had often wanted to before, but I did it tonight. Oh gosh! It wasn't like me! I shouldn't have!!"

"Whoa, whoa, slow down a minute," said Amber. "Who did you hit?"

"Caroline!!!!" William exclaimed as if that was the most natural thing in the world. "I was having dinner with her tonight, remember?!"

"Oh, yes, your friend," commented Amber. "Okay, so what happened?"

"Everything was going great," said William. "We had dinner together, we talked like normal friends, made jokes, shared stories. I thought it went rather well. I had always wanted to make it up to her for being in such a bad mood after the incident. I was pleased with the way things seemed to be headed. And then, of course, after a couple of drinks, Caroline started coming on to me. And then when I told her to stop we had this horrible argument...and then she called my Lizzy names!!!!" William paused dramatically, emphasizing the ultimate crime. "And I couldn't take it anymore! All those months of anxiety, my sorrow, my loss, my anger, everything came into that one resounding slap on her face. After that, I came straight down here."

"Wow!" exclaimed Amber, when William was done. "That has to hurt. What did Caroline say?"

"I'm not sure," said William. "I didn't stay around to listen to her. But I think I hit her pretty hard. I shouldn't have. I know it. It's wrong, very wrong. It's that whole guy-hit-girl thing. And I guess I'll have to apologize for that. But I don't know what got into me!" William raised his voice once again. "I'm not usually so emotional, but well...I guess I couldn't keep all my feelings bottled up for long. I had to explode one time or another. Too bad, it was on Caroline."

Amber nodded, "Yes, it wasn't right to hit Caroline, no matter what the provocation, but I do understand your side of the story. You'll probably have to talk to her tomorrow morning or something to apologize. But there are some deeper issues here that I can see...you still love Lizzy, am I right?"

William conceded that she was right.

"Okay, so now that we have that cleared up," said Amber. "let's move on. You love Lizzy, but you guys got divorce because of some problems you couldn't solve. In your opinion, does she still have feelings for you?"

"Maybe," said William. "I think so, but I can't be sure."

"Okay, so the important question is that what do you plan to do about it?" Amber said dramatically. "Do you want to just give it up and get on with your life, or do you want her back? If the former, you have to try and forget her. You have to move on. You have to emotionally accept the fact that you are no longer a married man. But, if you want her back, you'll have to figure out how you'll go about it. Either way, you have to make up your mind because right now I see you're confused. You think that you are moving on, but actually you are holding onto every last memory of Lizzy. And with all that frustration, it's no wonder you lashed out at Caroline. You need to decide what you want to do and then do it without hesitation."

William just stared at Amber as she was talking and when she was done, he said, "Are you by any chance a psychiatrist or a therapist or something?"

"How'd you know?" asked Amber, smiling.

"Just a lucky guess," William returned her smile.

"Okay...so...?"

"I don't know where Lizzy is," said William.

"What do you mean you don't know?" asked Amber. "She has to be in New York, right?"

"Maybe," said William. "Her office doesn't know. She's on extended leave."

"She's running away from New York...typical," commented Amber. "It's not unusual. She can't take the stress and it probably got to her. So she's either in some remote spot in New York or she left town. I'm guessing the latter since being in New York would probably remind her too much of her time with you."

"I see," said William, thinking.

"I guess you could probably find out where she went if you persisted," said Amber. "If you wanted to, that is."

After great deliberation, William said, "I think that it is for the benefit of both Lizzy and myself, that I don't pursue this further. If this relationship was going to work, we wouldn't have gotten divorced. I don't want to pressure Lizzy into coming back...if she wants a break from me and New York, fine. I won't bother her."

Amber looked at William deep in the eyes as he said those words. Then she observed, "You love her so much. She must be a really special lady."

"Yes, she is," William sighed.

"I hope to meet her someday."

"Maybe you will," said William. After a brief pause, he said, "Well! I think I better start paying you for these sessions!!! At the rate I'm going, you'll probably be listening to my problems forever!"

Amber laughed, "No charge, William! It's my pleasure!" Believe me, it's my pleasure. She added mentally. She could sense herself feel attracted to William, which was probably the last thing either of them wanted. But it could not be helped. If people had control over those things, life would be much simpler. But unfortunately, they don't. And that is what makes us all human.

Meanwhile, at Bayle's Hospital, Kingsley, Iowa

Elizabeth stirred, making the slightest of movements with her hand. But even that slight movement was enough for Ben to realize that Liz was waking up. He straightened up in his chair beside the bed and bent forward. Liz reached out unconsciously for someone and grabbed Ben's hand. She held it tight. And Ben did not resist. He held her hand.

Liz still hadn't opened her eyes. She murmured something indistinct. Ben strained his ear to hear her, but couldn't comprehend what she was saying. She was having a dream of some sort. That much was obvious. She clutched Ben's hand and suddenly cried out,

"Please! Don't go!"

"Shhh!" Ben said soothingly. "I'm not leaving. I'm right here, Liz." Ben looked around to see if anyone was around. They were waiting outside. He'd have to call them when she woke up. After the doctor had pronounced Liz out of danger, much to everyone's relief, Mrs. Bennett had left home to prepare for the Gardiners' along with the others. Only Jane, Charlotte and Mr. Bennett waited outside. Ben had insisted on staying in the room, saying that he had been responsible for the mishap with the horse.

Liz stirred again. She clutched Ben's hand even tighter, so much so that it hurt. She exclaimed, "Oh William!!!"

William? Is that the ex? Ben mused. Maybe...is she having nightmares about him? He directed his attention back to Liz, who seemed to be waking up. Her eyelids fluttered open and she looked at him with some confusion.

"William?!"

"No, Liz," Ben shook his head. "I'm Ben."

"Oh...," Liz seemed even more confused. "Where am I?"

"In the hospital," Ben informed her. "You fell down while riding Sugar. So we brought you here."

"Oh." Was all the reply.

Ben freed his hand from Liz's grip and went out to summon the others. Jane, Charlotte and Mr. Bennett came running in.

"Oh Lizzy!" Jane hurried to her sister's side. "We were so worried! You're okay!"

Mr. Bennett also affectionately patted her head and expressed his joy, as did Charlotte. The doctor came in soon after and after examining Liz, said, "She has a slight concussion and a sprained back. But apart from that, she's fine! She'll probably have to stay in bed for a while, though. It's a wonder she came out of this accident with such little injuries. I've seen many horse related accidents and they can be real nasty. You're lucky, young lady!" He said to Liz.

She just smiled. Then she asked, "How long will I have to stay in bed?"

"Oh, a week," he replied. "Why, is that going to be a problem?"

"Of course!" said Charlotte. "You don't know her, but every minute she spends quietly on the bed is a miracle, except when she's sleeping. And we're talking about 1 week! Ha! I'd pay to see that one!"

"I'm afraid she has no choice," said the doctor. After a few more instructions, he left them, telling Liz that she was free to leave.

"Well...," said Mr. Bennett as soon as he was gone. "You heard the doctor, Lizzy...no getting out of bed for you!"

"What does he know?!" Liz exclaimed, sitting up on her bed. "I am fine! These doctors just fuss around too much! Why do I have to stay in bed for so long?! It's all nonsense!"

"See! I told you so!" Charlotte exclaimed, triumphantly. "It's easier to climb Mt. Everest than to keep Lizzy in bed!!!"

Everyone laughed at this including Liz.

She protested, "Hey!! Charlotte!! I'm not that bad!! I just don't think people should make such a big deal out of little injuries!! If you take up sports, you are going to get hurt! So what?!" And just to prove her point, Liz attempted to get up from the bed. But she was in no condition to do so. She lost her balance and was about to fall forward on the ground, when with extraordinary quickness of mind, Ben came to the rescue. He got to her just in time to catch her before she fell down.

In her distress, Liz had grabbed onto the nearest thing to prevent herself from falling. It just happened to be Ben. He caught her perfectly and immediately placed her back on the bed. Liz couldn't help but notice that he had very strong hands indeed. Very strong. Ben looked first at her, then at the others.

"I think this proves our point sufficiently," said Ben. "We should have no further trouble from Liz."

"Hey!" Liz exclaimed. "Don't be so patronizing!"

"As you wish, Your Highness," Ben smiled.

"Stop!!!" Liz exclaimed. "You're driving me crazy!! Fine, I'll stay in the darn bed!"

Ben smiled a victory smile. Jane and Charlotte exchanged glances. Mr. Bennett just grinned, "I wish I'd thought of this before. I could have made Liz do a number of things, if only I knew how!"

"It takes technique," said Ben.

"I see you perfected it," said Liz, sarcastically. "Annoy someone to death before they give in to you."

"Sure! Works every time," Ben said smoothly. "And now...," he said. "Since you can't walk how do you propose to get to the car?"

Liz looked inquiringly at her father, who was thinking of a wheelchair. Ben said, "I think I know...wait, I'll show you." He bent down towards Liz, and in one swift motion picked her up. "I'll carry her."

"You sure she's not too heavy?" asked Charlotte. "No offense, Liz..."

"Nah! It's no sweat," Ben assured her. Then, he looked at Liz in the eye. "Shall we go, Your Highness?"

Liz was about to refuse, but she saw that she didn't have many choices without causing trouble. And besides, she liked being carried. Ben's arms tightened around her and she rested her hands on his strong chest. She looked at him with expressionless eyes, "Yes."

Ben grinned and with a look at the others, led the way out of the room. This was really getting interesting! And Ben was loving every second of it.

Chapter 12

Posted on Friday, 4 June 1999

Iowa

The ride home was quite uneventful. Mr. Bennett drove with Jane sitting next to him. That left Ben and Charlotte sitting on the backseat with Liz lying across their laps. Her head rested on Ben's lap and her feet on Charlotte's. Liz opened her eyes to look at Ben, then closed it again. Ben smiled, then said to Charlotte,

"Is she always this difficult when she's sick?"

"Always," said Charlotte. "She hates being told to stay in bed."

"I'm not difficult!!" Liz exclaimed.

"Yeah right," Jane chimed in. "I can tell many stories that would prove otherwise!"

"Jane!!!" Liz exclaimed with a warning look in her eyes.

But Ben ignored her, "Do tell, please. I would love to know what she was like when she was little."

"You want to know?" Jane said. "I'll tell you...she was a big pain when she was sick!!! And she wasn't sick very often either. But when she was...oh boy!! You'd better stay away. I remember this one time, when she was about 14, I was 16...she got the flu and was running a high temperature. She was supposed to be in bed, but as soon as we left the room, she sneaked out to go to her basketball practice!! We found out and went to the school to get her!! And all she had to say for herself was that the practice was important and her fever wasn't that bad!!"

"It wasn't bad!" Liz exclaimed.

"That's relative, I guess," Jane returned. "I mean, I would consider 103 quite bad...and certainly not good enough to go out and play basketball!"

"Well...maybe I was a little unreasonable..." Liz conceded. "But I wasn't really difficult!"

"Whatever!" Jane chuckled, sneaking a glance at Mr. Bennett who was smiling, but said nothing. Ben and Charlotte laughed, too.

Liz said, "No fair!! You're all teaming up on me!"

"That means we are serious about making you stay in bed," said Ben. "It's all for your benefit."

"Oh yeah?" said Liz. "You don't even know me!"

"That's something I'm willing to fix," Ben smiled.

"But who says I want to know you!!" Liz countered.

"Well, that's just a chance I'm prepared to take," Ben said.

"Gee, you're determined, aren't you?" Liz said with a look of wonder in her eyes. "Even after I'm so rude?"

That's because I think I'm falling for you... Aloud he said, "Well, you ARE the sister of my brother's future wife. I have to get to know you...we might be running into each other a lot."

Curiously, Liz found that this fact cheered her up. Despite her rather hostile outward behavior, she found that she was not immune to Ben's charms. He was annoying sometimes, but other times he could be very funny and charming. And he was a good way to take her mind off William. After all, what prevented her from being friends with other guys? Nothing. Liz found that she enjoyed her verbal battles with him and in fact, liked it when he teased her with a gleam in his eyes. Yes, she definitely didn't mind being friends with Ben. As long as she didn't lose her heart...

But Liz was determined never to go there again! It already belonged to another, even if he lived miles away and probably never wanted to see her again.

The car came to a stop in front of the entrance to Bennett Farm's main house. Mr. Bennett turned around and said, "Ben, do you mind taking Liz up to her room?"

"Sure, no problem," said Ben. No problem, indeed.

Jane and Charlotte got out and held the door for Ben. He got out and then picked Liz up. He carried her inside, then upstairs to her room. He laid her down gently on her bed and fluffed her pillows. Then, he smiled and said, "Is that okay?"

"Yes, thank you," she said, softly, looking up at him. "I'm sorry if I seem to be hard on you..."

"Oh, not at all," Ben smiled mischievously. "I don't think I could stand it if you started being nice to me!"

"Oh good!" Liz smiled back. "That saves me a whole lot of trouble!"

They shared a look and for a moment, Ben played with the idea of bending and kissing Liz. But then, he heard a lot of footsteps and practically the whole household approach. He looked towards the door. Mrs. Bennett entered accompanied with Mary, Kate, Trey, Jane, and Charlotte.

"I'm glad you're okay, Lizzy," said Mary. "I was so worried."

This sentiment was echoed by the others who gushed and exclaimed. This was another thing Liz didn't like about getting sick: being the center of fawning attention. Mrs. Bennett cooed and scolded Liz for taking undue risks by riding horses. She didn't think girls had any business doing anything of the kind. Mrs. Bennett had always tried to make her girls "ladylike" which directly conflicted with Liz's athletic and tomboyish temperament.

"Really, Lizzy," Mrs. Bennett said. "I don't see why you don't listen to me and just quit horse riding. It's so dangerous and I've been saying so for years. But no one ever listens to me. No! Now see what happened. You escaped with such little injuries, but it could have been very serious indeed. Now, if you have any sense, you would give it up for good!"

Mrs. Bennett looked around for support, but no one seemed willing to give it to her. Instead, Ben said, "Actually Mrs. Bennett, Liz is a very good rider. This accident was partly my mistake. I scared Sugar by a sudden movement and he threw Liz down. So, it's not really her fault."

Mrs. Bennett rushed to explain, "No, I don't mean it's her fault, but since it's dangerous, I thought..."

"Well every sport will be a little dangerous to a degree," said Ben. "But Liz is really competent and I don't think she'd put herself in any jeopardy as long as I'm not around!!!"

Mrs. Bennett laughed. She would have debated Liz further, but since Ben was of the opinion that it was okay, she figured he probably was right. So she said, "Well, okay...just be more careful next time, Lizzy." She was about to say more, but there was some disturbance downstairs, and Mr. Bennett's voice was heard, "Fran! The Gardiners are here!!!"

With an exclamation, Mrs. Bennett hurried down to greet the Gardiners and following her were all the occupants of Liz's room except for Liz and Ben. The room was silent. Ben turned to look at Liz again, thinking of what to say or do. But Liz eased the awkwardness by saying, "I'm sorry about mom...she just lives in the 50s, I suppose. She's never been able to reconcile to the fact that I'm...athletic. But, thanks so much for defending me. It was very good of you."

"Oh, no problem," Ben assured her. "I only said what I thought. I'm glad I was able to convince your mom. She didn't seem pleased. It's a good thing she listened to me."

Liz gave a short laugh. "Of course, she'll listen to you!! In case you haven't noticed, my mother practically fawns on you. And the reason for that must be quite obvious."

It was, but Ben decided to play dumb. "I'm not sure what you mean..."

"Oh really!!" Liz exclaimed. "Well I'll spell it out if that's what it takes. My mother is the proverbial matchmaker who has set her eyes on you." Liz paused, then continued. "I think she wants us to get together! And she is a very determined person. So, I think it's my duty to warn you so that you may be suitably equipped for dealing with her. She can get quite carried away, I'm afraid. She barely knows you, I barely know you! The idea of a match is so absurd, don't you think?"

"Yes, very absurd," Ben murmured. But he thought otherwise. It was not an absurd idea to him. Why should it be? Wasn't it what he really wanted deep down inside...Lizzy? But of course he wouldn't say that. She was right. They barely knew each other and she wasn't interested. Any sensible guy would take a hint. But whoever said one has to be sensible?

"I know!" Liz continued. "Don't get me wrong...Mom means well. But it can get embarrassing sometimes. You know? So, I want you to know in advance...I'm sorry for anytime she embarrasses you."

"You don't have to do that," Ben said. "I can handle it."

"Okay...," said Liz. Then she said, "I hate being in bed! I want to meet my aunt and uncle..."

"They're probably busy with the others. Well...I can go and ask them to come up to meet you," said Ben. He saw Liz's face light up and he knew right then that he would do anything for that smile. He knew right then that he was madly in love. As strange as that seemed, he knew that he had fallen in love with Liz at first sight...when she'd come aboard that plane. His heart soared at the sight of her. He loved it when she talked to him, even if she was being unfriendly. He loved the lines of her face and the music of her voice. But there was one tiny problem.

She didn't love him back.

Ben was brought back to reality at Liz's voice. "Ben? Still with me?"

"Oh?" he said. "Yeah...um...I'll go down now."

Liz watched Ben go out of the room with a frown. He evoked such mixed feelings in her that it confused and scared her. At times she found him interesting and other times she found him annoying. Either way, she knew that she wasn't indifferent. His mere presence could affect her. But Liz did not want to be affected. That was the problem. She knew that Ben was a nice guy, but did she have feelings for him? More importantly, did he have feelings for her? Liz couldn't decide. Sometimes she could detect a hint of tenderness in him, but other times he was just his regular, charming self.

Liz was certain that she wanted nothing more than a friendship. But was that really possible. If two people were thus attracted to each other, was it possible or viable to be "just friends." Liz didn't have the answer to that or a hundred questions. All she knew was that she wanted to relax here in Iowa, away from New York, away from him. She didn't want any complications. She was resolved to keep Ben at a distance and treat him only as a friend. IF that were possible...

As these thoughts passed her mind, Liz reached for her side drawer and pulled out her old purse. She opened it and extracted her most prized possession: a picture of Will. It had been taken several years ago at a beach vacation. It was Liz's favorite picture, which might have something to do with Will in Speedo's. He was laughing as he held her in his arms, ready to throw her in the water. They looked so happy. Who could have known? A sigh escaped Liz as she whispered, "I miss you."

Chapter 13

Posted on Saturday, 12 June 1999

Bennett Farm, Iowa

Liz waited patiently in her bed, knowing that Ben would be back with the others soon. She trusted him. But it was a lot to ask of Liz to stay in her bed for a long time. She didn't mean to be difficult. But sitting around, doing nothing was just not her thing. Which was why she hated getting sick. But nobody seemed to understand it. They all teased her for being a bad patient.

At length, she heard footsteps approach her door, and some voices float her way. She sat up quickly waiting for the people to enter. Then, Ben came in,

"I'm back, Liz! Miss me?"

"Oh sure!" Liz joked. "I was counting seconds till you returned."

"Of course!" Ben smiled, wishing that were true, but knowing otherwise. "Your aunt and uncle are right behind me. Quite a charming couple!"

Liz smiled in return and focussed her attention on the door. Then, after a few moments, a voice was heard at the door. "Yes, this is Lizzy's room..." And Mrs. Madeline Gardiner walked in.

"Aunt Maddie!!" Liz almost squealed.

"Lizzy!" Mrs. Gardiner rushed to her bedside and hugged her. "I'm so glad to see you again. And I heard that you managed to get yourself in bed already. Sugar, was it?"

"Yeah," Liz said smilingly. "Sugar threw me down."

"Oh well! You're fine and that's all that matters!"

Then, Mr. Edward Gardiner entered the room greeting his niece with a hearty, "Hello there!!!"

"Uncle Eddie! Hi!" Lizzy greeted them. Mr. Gardiner was Fran Bennett's only brother and was as different from her as a brother and sister could be. He was sensible, intelligent and well-informed while she was silly, ignorant and often times foolish. The Gardiners made a lovely couple. They really trusted, loved and respected each other, which was something Lizzy hadn't seen in her own parents. Therefore, she looked up to them for guidance and support on what an ideal marriage should be like.

Liz said, "Uncle, Auntie...you have met Ben, of course?"

"Yes," said Mrs. Gardiner, smiling at Ben. "He was good enough to bring us up here. We were wondering where you were. Your mother was just telling us about your accident..."

At that, Liz rolled her eyes. Mrs. Gardiner smiled knowingly. She said, "I know, dear. It's hard on you to be tied up like this. But there's no choice, really."

"I think she has been convinced of that sufficiently," Ben quipped.

"Really?" said Mr. Gardiner, joining in. "How'd you get her to do that. We've been trying these past 20 years without success."

"Oh, just a little tactic and technique here and there," Ben said.

"He won't give it away," said Liz, glancing at Ben.

"Of course not!" said Ben. "A good businessmen never reveals his secret weapon!"

Mr. And Mrs. Gardiner smiled at this, exchanging glances. Ben and Lizzy seemed to be getting along fine. But was that a good sign? They chatted a little with Liz about their drive down to Kingsley, informing her of all that they saw on the way. They talked about Mary's engagement and Mrs. Bennett. One thing that Mrs. Gardiner most wanted to talk about was William. But she was too tactful to bring it up just then.

After a pleasant chat, the Gardiners left Lizzy to get changed and ready for dinner. When they were gone, Ben said, "I guess I'll be going too. But I'll be back later. Sure you'll be okay?"

"Just fine," said Liz. "Can you just hand me that book on the shelf?"

"Sure," said Ben, handing the book in question. He looked at it. "Great Gatsby...lovely book, isn't it?"

"Yes," Liz smiled. "One of my favorites."

"Good choice," said Ben. "You know it's said that a person's choice of books reflects a great deal about his or her personality..."

"Really?" Liz raised her eyebrows. Indicating the book in her hand, "What does this tell you about me?"

"That you're intelligent and profound. This book can be a little heavy for many people."

Liz laughed. "Do you know what this tells me about YOU?"

"What?"

"That you're a shameless flatterer!"

"Aw! I'm hurt!" Ben exclaimed. "And after all the wonderful things I said to you!!"

"Because of all the wonderful things you said to me!!" Liz returned.

"It doesn't work?"

"Not in many case, no," Liz said. "My favor can't be bought with flattery."

Ben eyed her, "Then how can it be earned?"

"I guess you'll have to find out for yourself!" Liz exclaimed. Then she said, "Didn't you have to go someplace?"

"Yes," replied Ben. "But I decided to tempt you further with my bewitching presence."

Lizzy laughed and shook her head, "I won't even comment on that!"

Ben laughed and left the room thinking how adorable and intelligent Liz was. He really had it bad. He knew that his chances of getting Liz were next to nothing, but there was nothing he could do about his wandering heart. He'd never been in love before. Crushes yes, but love, no. So, was it his fault that the first person he fell in live with would never love him back at any cost. Was it because of that person William? Or just because she didn't like him? Ben wasn't sure, but he was sure of one thing. He'd move heaven and earth to win Liz, if that's what it took.

1 hour later

Mrs. Gardiner knocked on Liz's door.

"Who is it?" came her voice.

"It's me, dear," replied Mrs. Gardiner. "Aunt Maddie."

"Oh, come in."

Lizzy was propped on her pillows and was reading her book. She smiled at her aunt.

"I thought I'd come and talk to you before dinner," said Mrs. Gardiner. "You know, since you can't move, Ben volunteered to bring it up for you."

"Oh, did he?" said Lizzy. "That's nice of him."

"Yes, it is," said Mrs. Gardiner, sitting on the chair next to the bed. "But that's why I wanted to talk to you. Are you aware that Ben is really falling in love with you?"

"With me?!!" Lizzy was surprised. "That can't be possible. He hardly knows me. We've just met. Aunt, you're imagining things!"

"I don't think so," said Mrs. Gardiner. "He's been talking about you ever since I came. And your mother was very happy. She was telling me how enamored he is with you."

"Oh, don't listen to mom. She'll say things like that!"

"No, Lizzy, I think she's right this time," said Mrs. Gardiner. "I can tell it from his eyes and by the way he was talking to you." After a pause, "I'm not saying it's wrong, but I just wanted to warn you. I don't suppose you're looking for a relationship right now?"

"No," Lizzy shook her head. "Definitely not." She hung her head, thinking of William.

Mrs. Gardiner walked to her side, "I'm sorry, dear. I didn't want to remind you of him."

"It's okay," said Lizzy, collecting herself. "It doesn't take much to remind me of him."

Mrs. Gardiner nodded understandingly. "How can I say this without sounding like a preacher...but it will get better, Lizzy. You will move on to bigger and better things."

"I don't think so," Lizzy shook her head. "I'll never get over William."

"But you divorced him, remember?" Mrs. Gardiner knew this was hard on her niece but someone needed to talk to Lizzy.

"Yes, but that doesn't mean I don't love him," said Lizzy. "It's so hard to explain. No one will understand why I did it. I'm not even sure I do. But this had to be done. Doesn't mean I have to like it."

Mrs. Gardiner squeezed her hand in quiet support.

"You still love him very much, don't you?"

"Yes," said Lizzy. "More than life itself."

"Then why don't you try to work things out? Call him?"

"He doesn't know I'm here," said Lizzy, staring into space.

"And I'm sure he's dying to know. Why don't you just call to let him know where you are. He'd appreciate it."

"You think so?" Lizzy's eyes lit up. "It'll be awkward, though."

Mrs. Gardiner smiled, "Well, maybe a little. But at least it'll put you both at ease. And I'm sure you're dying to hear his voice, anyway. Give yourself a chance. Give him a chance. Who knows what might happen?"

Lizzy looked at her aunt. "You're so good at persuading!!"

"So, you're going to call him?" Mrs. Gardiner persisted.

"Yes," Lizzy smiled. "I will. I know it's probably not the smartest thing I can do. But I'll make it quick, just tell him where I am and see how he's doing. Nothing wrong with that. We can still be friends."

"My point exactly!" Mrs. Gardiner got up. "Just remember. Be careful about this Ben guy. He may be nice, but you don't want him."

"Okay!" Lizzy giggled. "I'll be careful."

"You'll want me to leave, I suppose," said Mrs. Gardiner. "Say hi to William from me." Mrs. Gardiner smiled at Lizzy and left the room. She was satisfied. She had talked her niece into calling William. That was good. And she'd warned her against Ben. That was good, too. Madeline Gardiner had nothing against Ben. He was a great guy. But he was not William, and she had been very fond of her niece's dashing husband. So maybe she was biased.

Meanwhile, Lizzy picked up her phone and looked at it for a while. Aunt Maddie was right. There was nothing wrong with calling him. He wasn't expecting it, probably. She didn't know what she'd say. Hello? I love you? No, that was so stupid. She'd just have to try and act calm and natural. Maybe she could think of an excuse? I left something important at home? Maybe... Lizzy thought over the possibilities before making up her mind and dialing the number. The phone rang two times before being picked up.

"Hello?" came a feminine voice.

"Hello?" said Lizzy, puzzled. "Is...William there?"

"Oh sorry, he's taking a shower."

"Oh..." Lizzy was even more puzzled. She didn't recognize the voice. "I must have the wrong number. Is this William Darcy's number?"

"Sure is," replied the voice.

"Who are you?" Lizzy said, a little rudely.

"Amber," said the voice. "Can I take a message for William?"

"No, I have nothing to say to him!" Lizzy hung up.

She sat there for a few moments, staring into space. Apparently, William had forgotten her far easier she had him. But then, what else did she expect? That he'd wait for her to call? Lizzy burned with hatred for that girl Amber...who knew who that was?! Caroline's successor? Lizzy decided she didn't want to know. That was William's business. She didn't care anymore. If that's the way he wanted it, so be it. She'd forget him as easily, too.

Just then, someone knocked at the door. "Come in," said Lizzy.

"I brought you your dinner," said Ben, coming in with a tray.

"I'm so glad to see you, Ben!!!" Lizzy proclaimed with a flirtatious smile.

Chapter 14

Posted on Tuesday, 22 June 1999

New York

William came out of the shower. "Thanks for staying, Amber," he said. "I don't think I could have been so strong all by myself." He smiled. "Oh, btw, who was that on the phone?"

"I don't know," said Amber. "She didn't say...I think it might have been a wrong number."

"Strange," said William, thoughtfully. "Oh well!" He thought nothing of it, and asked Amber if she'd like a drink. Amber refused, saying that she'd have to drive home. She sat down on the couch, laying her head. She sighed.

William walked up to where she was standing. "Are you tired?"

"Yeah," Amber closed her eyes. "I had some really annoying patients today. Listening to people's problems the whole day can get very tough."

"And then you get home and have to listen to me," commented William.

Amber opened her eyes and looked up at William who was standing directly above. "Oh, it's no problem really."

William smiled, "You know, Amber, I haven't know you that long, but I just trust you so much. That's why I tell you about my issues. I know I burden you, but at this point in my life, I feel like I need someone to just listen to me and be there when I need to vent."

"I'm always listening..." whispered Amber, looking straight into William's eyes.

"How can I ever repay you?" asked William, softly.

"Well...," said Amber. "I have a pounding headache, and you could massage my neck. It's killing me!"

"Yes, ma'am!" William exclaimed. Amber leaned forward letting William massage her neck. His fingers worked like magic. Slowly, but surely, Amber felt her pain dissipate. It relieved her tension and made her feel a whole lot better. Amber relished the feeling of William's fingers on her skin. His strokes were strong and assured and Amber knew that William had done this before. She felt herself melt which wasn't good. Amber didn't want to complicate things for William more than it already was. It was time to leave. She opened her eyes.

"I have to go...," she said.

William nodded, "I hope that feels better...Liz always liked it when I massaged her. She says I have a natural talent."

"You sure do," said Amber, softly, getting up and collecting her things.

William showed her to the door. He kissed her tenderly on her cheeks, "Thanks for being my friend. Heaven knows, I need one right now."

Amber smiled and said good-bye. She walked out with two things in mind...how bad she was falling for William and how she was never going to be more than a 'friend.'

Meanwhile in Bennett Farm

Ben laid down Liz's dinner on the side table and helped her sit up.

"I'm so glad to see you," Liz repeated.

Ben looked at her strangely. "Are you okay?"

"Yes! Never been better!" Liz exclaimed.

"Are you sure?" asked Ben.

"Yes! Why?" Liz said, smiling.

"Because you're being very nice to me," said Ben. "And I'm not used to that. It's scary, actually!"

"Well, if you don't like it...," Liz started to say.

"No!" Ben interrupted her. "I didn't say that...it's just rather sudden. Come on! Tell me! Something happened while I was away, right? There has to be a reason."

Liz thought of her last attempt to mend her relationship with William by trying to call him. It had ended in disaster as some woman picked up the phone. It sickened Liz to even think about what she might be doing there...with her William, in her house. But Liz didn't have claim to either anymore. It occurred to her that even after the divorce, she'd never given up hope of their getting back together. But now, reality hit her. William had moved on and so should she. But that woman --- oh! Liz couldn't get her sultry voice out of her head. And that annoyed her. She felt a sudden surge of anger and hatred for William.

"I HATE him!" she cried out.

Ben was surprised, "Whoa?! Who are we talking about...?"

Liz looked at Ben, and said, "You don't wanna know."

Ben nodded, seeing that Liz was not ready to talk yet. He said, "Why don't you eat your food...it's really good."

"I don't want to," said Liz, sulkily.

"Oh, come now!" Ben coaxed her. "Your mom spent a lot of time making this for you."

"I'm not hungry," Liz crossed her arms.

"Okay, I'll tell you what," said Ben, seating himself on the chair next to Liz's bed. "If you don't want to eat yourself, I'll feed you." Saying thus, he took some of the rice and brought the spoon close to her mouth. He said, "Okay...this one's for daddy."

Liz smiled at him. He was so cute! Who could resist? She opened her mouth and allowed herself to be fed. Ben grinned, and said, "That's much better. Okay, now this one's for mommy..." He continued playing that game and managed to make Liz eat.

A little later, Ben said, "Now this last one...this one's for...William."

Liz sat up straight. "How -- ?! How do you know William?"

"I don't," said Ben. "But I know that he's important to you because you were moaning his name when you were unconscious in the hospital."

"Oh, was I?" Liz said, refusing to eat that last bite. "Well, too bad. William means nothing to me!!!"

"May I ask...who it is?" Ben ventured slowly.

Liz looked at him. If she didn't tell him, he'd find out from someone else. "My ex-husband."

"Oh, I see," Ben remembered what Kate had told him about Liz's messy divorce. He continued cheekily, "Somehow I don't think you're so indifferent to him as you make it out to be..."

"No!" Liz said in a loud voice. "Don't you get it?! I HATE William!!!!!"

Ben knew when it was time to go and this was time to go. He hastily took the tray and said, "I think I'll leave. Good night...pleasant dreams." With one last look at Liz, he was gone, leaving her to contemplate her own words.

The next morning; New York; William's office

William walked in, looking refreshed, ready to face the day. As always, Suzy was already there. He said, "Is Ms. Bingley in, Suzy?"

"Yes, she came in early today," Suzy informed her boss. "She's in her office."

"Okay, thanks!" William put his stuff in his room and walked resolutely to Caroline's door. He knocked. "Who is it?" came a voice from inside.

"It's me, Caroline," said William. "I need to talk to you."

After a brief silence, she said, "Come in."

Caroline was sitting behind a massive desk, seemingly drowned in papers. She looked very smart and professional. "Yes, William? How may I help you?"

William was stunned. Caroline looked changed, altered. There was no hint of bitterness about the dinner incident. She looked as cool as a cucumber and betrayed no ill will. William was impressed. He said, "Look, Caroline, I'm very sorry about yesterday. I shouldn't have slapped you...it was very wrong of me and I'm ashamed of myself."

Caroline said, "That's alright, William. I've done a lot of thinking myself and have come to the conclusion that I deserved what I got. Heaven only knows, what I was thinking?! Maybe I wasn't thinking, that's probably my problem. Anyway, there are no hard feelings. But can you forgive me?"

William smiled, "Of course! As far as I'm concerned, yesterday never happened."

"Agreed," said Caroline. "Let's start over."

"Yes, that sounds good," said William. He added, "You look so different. Something has changed..."

"I've turned over a new leaf. I've got my priorities straight," said Caroline. "I'm changing my principles."

"Great!" said William. "I wish you well."

"Thanks!" said Caroline. "Now, if you don't mind, I have a thousand things to do!"

"Of course, me too!" William left her office with a last, parting look.

The same day; lunch

Caroline emerged from her office. She said to Suzy. "I'm going out to lunch. Take my calls."

"Yes, Ms. Bingley." Suzy watched her leave and frowned. This was strange. Caroline never had lunch, hence she never went out. Something was definitely up. And her whole attitude. She looked and acted professional. It was very suspicious. Suzy shook her head and returned to work.

Meanwhile, Caroline exited the building with quick steps. She walked quickly down the block and turned into a smaller street. She walked into an isolated café and scanned the room. She found who she was looking for and walked up to the corner. She slid into the chair opposite him and said,

"Oh! This isn't working!"

The man put down his morning paper and said, "My dear, you don't expect it to work so quickly, do you?"

Caroline looked at her companion and said, "Easy for you to say. You're not the one being humiliated everyday!" She, then, related the dinner incident and what a disaster it had been.

When she was done, he said, "Oh, come on! You're not going to let that one minor setback bother you?! Think of all our plans."

"Our plans?" Caroline said. "I don't see you doing anything helpful. How has separating Liz and William helped us in any way?"

"Patience, darling," said the man. "It will work, you'll see. Will can't survive without Liz. She's his life. He needs a woman, someone nice and kind and gentle...i.e. you! You have to ingratiate yourself and be indispensable. But no more moves like yesterday! That could ruin our chances forever!"

Caroline sighed, "It's just so damn frustrating. I don't understand what he sees in that witch anyway. She walked out on him, for crying out loud!"

Her companion said, "He's a man in love. What can I say? Let's just hope she doesn't come back."

"There's not much chance of that, is it?" asked Caroline.

"No, I don't think so. You really convinced her about you and William," said the man, grinning.

"Do you know where she is?" asked Caroline.

"Yeah, she went home to Iowa," he informed her.

"Good...if only she'd stay there."

"Don't worry," he said reassuringly. "I'll keep tabs on her. Even if she ever comes back into William's life, I'll make sure she doesn't take him back."

Caroline looked at her partner in crime and grinned, "You're so bad! That's why I love you!"

He grinned, revealing his single gold tooth. "Honey, I'm here to please. Now go back to work and get that man! Anytime you feel dejected, just remember, if this works, we'll be swimming in big bucks, you and I."

Caroline, now cheerful, got up and kissed him passionately on his lips. She whispered, "You'll get your reward tonight. Cape Motel...7 o clock. Be there."

"Is that a promise or a threat?"

"Both," said Caroline archly.

"I wouldn't miss it for the world," he grinned. "Bye babe. Later!"

He watched Caroline leave and smiled thoughtfully to himself, his gold tooth glinting in the sun, evil written all over it. Well, Mr. Darcy...let's see who gets the last laugh! He thought smugly and continued reading his paper.

Chapter 15

Posted on Wednesday, 7 July 1999

Next morning; Bennett Farm, Iowa

Elizabeth stirred and gently opened her eyes to see a ray of light coming into her room through the open window. She strained her neck to see the clock. It read 7: 45. She felt a slight headache probably caused due to her incessant crying the night before. She felt hurt and confused about William and even more so about Ben. Life had never been easy for Liz and it sure wasn't easy for her now. She felt like a complete loser with a failed marriage, average job, lying all alone in bed at her parents' house. No, life was definitely not easy.

Liz was broken off from this unpleasant reverie by a voice from the adjoining bathroom. Jane emerged, looking fresh from a shower. "Good morning, Lizzy! How are you feeling today?"

Liz tried to smile, "Alright." She didn't have the courage to tell Jane about the phone incident with William.

"Good!" Jane said cheerfully, oblivious to her sister's distress. "Since aunt and uncle are here, mom was impatient to hold a party for Mary and Trey, but we all thought it best we wait for you to get better. Another week won't do any harm!"

Liz said, "I wouldn't want to inconvenience anyone on my account. You can hold the party at anytime."

"No way, Lizzy!" said Jane. She looked at Liz, concerned. "Is something the matter? I heard you sniffling last night? What is it?"

"I think I might have a little cold...that's all," lied Lizzy. "Nothing to worry about."

Jane walked near her bed and lay a hand on Lizzy's forehead, "I know how hard it is for you to stay in bed and I'm proud of what a great job you're doing. Hang in there and know that we're all here for you. Just tell me if you need anything, okay?"

Liz nodded, smiling and said, "Thank you, Jane. You're the best!"

Jane squeezed her hand, then said, "Okay, now...what would you like for breakfast?" Seeing Liz wrinkle her nose, she added, "Now don't try that with me. You need to eat if you want to be back on your feet anytime soon!" Thus berated, Liz complied with all that Jane said and proved to be a good patient, after all.

The next week

Lizzy mended slowly but surely, although the same could not be said about her heart. All the family and friends visited her many times a day. Jane and Ben especially took care of all her needs; feeding her and staying with her. In this time, Liz grew more and more attached to Ben, who charmed and delighted her in many a dull afternoon. Ben, on the other hand, was just happy to be of any help to Liz. He tried his best to keep his heart away from the matter because he knew Liz could not love him. This was a resolution hard to keep.

The entire household watched the blossoming friendship between Liz and Ben with concern and some with delight. Only Mrs. Bennett and Trey were delighted; the former because she wanted to see Liz married and the latter because he knew how much his brother loved Liz. But Liz's sisters, father and the Gardiners could not see the relationship without alarm.

Kate, especially, could not watch Ben's growing attentions for her sister without feeling some jealousy. Liz had always been a little rash in the matters of the heart and they all saw this "friendship" head into disaster. But they were all willing to wait and watch since they knew it was a sensitive subject and that Liz was still hurting from her divorce.

It had been an entire week since Liz's accident and she had proved herself capable of being an easy patient. She had followed all directions without throwing too much of a fit. Jane attributed this to Ben since he always kept Liz in a good humor. Now Liz was fully recovered and there were no more restrictions as to her movement. She got ready to go down for breakfast with zeal.

"Oh, Jane!" she said, gleefully. "It feels so good not to be an invalid any longer!"

"I know, Lizzy," said Jane, smiling. "I'm very glad. It's just not the same without you!"

The sisters smiled lovingly at each other and then got busy getting dressed. Within minutes, they were ready and they proceeded to descend to the breakfast room. Everyone else was already assembled. Ben got up to greet them.

"Here are the two lovely ladies!" he exclaimed. "How do you feel, Liz?"

"Great! Wonderful!" Liz smiled. "Now I won't be a problem to all of you anymore."

"Who says you were a problem?" Ben inquired.

"Oh, no one has to tell me! I think I know!" said Liz, laughingly. She sat down on the table and found herself seated between Ben and Kate. "Good morning, Kate!" she greeted her sister.

"Morning, Liz," Kate said, with a little smile. "I'm really happy to see you better."

"Thanks, sis," Liz said, smiling. "It feels great, too."

Mrs. Bennett bustled in with more eggs and sausages. "Oh, hey Lizzy!"

"Hey mom!" said Liz.

"Have some eggs and sausages," she said. "Oh, Mary and I were talking about the engagement party...what do you think of day after tomorrow?"

"Sure!" said Liz. She stole a glance at Mary and Trey who were exchanging looks of extreme love. She sighed, thinking of her own wedding. She had been dressed in jeans and a tee-shirt and so had William. But it had been very sweet and romantic in it's own way. Liz thought about what it would have been like to have a lavish, church, white wedding. But what was the use if the marriage wasn't going to last?

"Hello? Anyone here?" Ben's voice brought Liz back to earth.

"Oh, sorry," said Liz.

"Tonight we're going to dinner at the Lucases," Ben informed her.

"Oh good!" exclaimed Liz. "I haven't seen Char for ages!"

Breakfast progressed without a hitch. After that, everyone proceeded for his or her own business. Mrs. Bennett, Mrs. Gardiner, Mary, Jane and Trey busied themselves in planning for the party. Mr. Bennett and Mr. Gardiner shut themselves in the library. Kate went to work and Ben went to do some errands in town. Liz went out onto the grounds with her painting equipment.

2 hours later

Liz was so intent and lost in her painting that she failed to notice soft footsteps approaching her from behind.

"Wow!" said an amazed voice.

Liz turned around, surprised, "Oh, hey Ben! You scared me!"

"Wow!" repeated Ben, staring at the painting.

"Do you like it?" asked Liz.

"Do I?!" said Ben. "I didn't know you painted..."

"There are a lot of things you don't know about me," Liz eyed him.

"But this is awesome!" Ben exclaimed again.

"You're just saying that," Liz accused him. "I bet you know nothing about art!"

"I hope I do considering the fact that I'm an arts dealer!" Ben said.

Liz was amazed, "Really?! You're kidding, right?"

"No, honestly," said Ben.

"I had no idea...," said Liz. "You really think this is good?"

"Are you kidding me? It's very good. It has such a force of expression, such style and such technique...I'm stunned."

Liz blushed, "No one ever thought much of my paintings...that's why I gave up trying to sell one a long time ago."

"That's a huge loss to the artistic society," said Ben, contemplating the painting. He pointed at it, "That girl in the middle of thew field looks so...desolate...why?"

"I don't know," Liz shrugged her shoulders. "That was just the way it came out."

"I see," said Ben. "Do you know, Liz, after all this time, you still continue to surprise me? Who would have known you were such an accomplished painter!"

Liz blushed deeply. "I don't know about accomplished, but painting is my passion."

"I can see that in the strokes of your brush," said Ben. "It has such force, such life, such passion. I bet I can sell this for a lot of money!"

"Don't play with me," said Lizzy, half-seriously.

"I'm not," said Ben. "We need some new painters, fresh new talent." He looked at Liz, who was very surprised and happy. He reached out for her nose and wiped off some paint, "You look very beautiful, Elizabeth." He said softly.

Liz inhaled sharply at hearing him say her full name for the first time. She felt butterflies in her stomach and scolded herself inwardly for being so silly. She looked down at her overalls which had paint all over it. "Thank you, though I can't say I share your opinion."

Ben looked into her eyes, feeling himself lost in their depth. He felt this great, overwhelming urge to kiss her. He moved a little closer about to make the move, when Liz got up and said, "It's so hot out here. Maybe we should go inside."

Ben looked up at her and thought that it would be the wisest thing to do. He said, "Yes, that's probably a good idea!" He helped her gather her stuff and they walked inside in silence.

That evening

"Lizzy! Are you almost ready? We'll be leaving soon!" Jane's voice could be heard from outside the bathroom door. "Lizzy? Are you okay in there?"

Lizzy said, "Yeah, Jane, fine. I'll be out soon."

Lizzy looked into the mirror. She had felt very sick all afternoon and had thrown up recently. She wasn't dressed as yet. A dreadful fear enveloped her heart as she studied her image. Tears flowed down her cheeks as she felt sure that her fears were well-founded. Panic gripped her as she felt an urge to vomit again. She didn't know what to do. She started to cry even harder as she watched her mascara flow down her cheeks. With one hand on her still flat stomach, she cried softly. This can't be happening! Oh god, you can't do this to me!!

Chapter 16

Posted on Friday, 23 July 1999

Elizabeth gathered all her courage, touched up her make-up and exited the bathroom. She tried to appear as normal as she possibly could, but found that her feelings overwhelmed her. She could not appear cheerful. And Jane would be the first to notice.

"Lizzy?" she said as soon as Liz came out. "What's wrong?"

Everything! Liz cried inwardly. "Um...nothing..."

Jane crossed her arms, looking stern. "Don't lie to me, Lizzy. You know you can't hide anything from me. Please? Tell me what's bothering you?"

"I told you it's nothing!" Liz raised her voice. "Can we go, please?"

Jane was astonished. She discerned a melancholy, tired note in her sister's plea and her façade of appearing normal didn't stand a chance in front of her. Something was up and Jane was determined to find out what. But this wasn't the time or the place. "Okay," she said. "Let's go, then." She pretended to drop the subject, much to Liz's obvious relief.

The rest of the party was waiting for them downstairs. They apologized for holding them up, but Mrs. Bennett said, "Oh, that's no problem, girls!! You both look so lovely that I don't mind waiting!"

Liz cringed inwardly, her thoughts far removed from her looks. All she could think of was the new life growing inside of her. Her baby. Her and William's baby. Their baby. She shuddered. But what life lay ahead for it. Parents divorced before it was even born? Would her child ever know its father? How could she go and tell William about this? After all they'd been through. Was it worth trying? Could this change everything?

"Liz?" Ben's voice brought her back to earth. "You really do look lovely tonight."

"Thanks, Ben," she said, forcing herself to be civil. It wasn't anyone's fault that her world was crumbling apart. She even managed a little smile, but said no more, walking away resolutely.

The Bennett party arrived at the Lucas Lodge within minutes owing to the short distance. The party was already in full swing with some other neighbors assembled. Liz got herself a glass of water and found herself a comfortable spot on the sofa. She was the picture of misery.

"Liz?" Charlotte came to her.

"Oh, Char!!" she flew into her friend's arms, almost crying. "I missed you so much."

"Lizzy, what happened?" Char was concerned. Her friend exuded the air of a tragedy queen.

"Nothing, oh nothing," said Liz. She couldn't bring herself to tell anyone about her condition, not until she sorted her own life out. "How have you been?"

As Charlotte talked, Liz found her mind wandering again. The biggest question was whether or not she should tell William. She had to, that was the only decent thing to do. He had a right to know. But what would that achieve? Would they get back together? No, that felt impossible... He would offer to give her child support and she would refuse. He would persist; she would refuse. He would ask to visit the child...she would accept grudgingly. He would grow attached to the child and would want it. So, he would take her to court to plead for custody...she would be heartbroken.

A cry escaped Liz's lips at that point and Char exclaimed, "Liz!!"

"I'm alright, I'm alright," said Liz, visibly shaken. "Char, I want to be alone, so I'm going outside to the balcony...don't tell anyone where I am, please?"

Char wanted to ask her friend what was bothering her, but saw that she needed to be alone. So, she nodded, "Yes, of course."

15 minutes later; in the balcony

"I found you at last."

"Ben," uttered Liz, not even turning around. "Please go away. Leave me alone."

"No," he said emphatically. "You have to tell me what's bothering you. Don't waste your time trying to deny it. I know that something's wrong. What is it?" By that time, he was standing next to her, very close.

"Did Char send you here, is that it?" Liz's eyes flashed.

"No," Ben shook his head. "I don't need anyone to tell me. I could see that you were upset."

"You don't know me," challenged Liz.

"I know you enough," said Ben.

Liz drew her breath in. He looked so much like William, she almost imagined him standing next to her with concern in his eyes. Liz almost gave in to him. Almost. She felt an urge to find comfort in his strong arms and tell him all her problems. Those urges she crushed as soon as they were born in her mind. She looked at him with an inscrutable expression. "Leave me alone, Ben. I'm in no mood to talk."

"But Liz," he persisted. "You have to tell somebody. Keeping it locked inside will do no good."

"What makes you think I'll tell you, then?" she challenged him.

Ben bit his lips. "You're right. I have no right to expect that. But confide in someone else then..."

"What if I don't want to?" she snapped. Then seeing he was hurt, she added, "Listen, I'm sorry. I know that you're being nice, but I have a lot on my mind. Please respect that."

Ben sighed, "Okay, I understand. Just know that whatever happens, I'll be there for you."

Liz smiled, her eyes moist. "Thank you," she whispered softly.

Ben bent down and for a moment Liz thought that he was going to kiss her. But his lips met her forehead and he gave her a quick peck. She didn't know if she was relieved or disappointed. He said, "You are very special, Elizabeth. Never forget that."

She smiled, melting his heart. "You are quite special yourself." They were so close, Liz felt the need to put physical distance between them. She stepped back. "I want you to be the first to know..."

"Know what?" he urged apprehensively.

"I'm leaving Iowa...I have to go back to New York," she said.

"But why?!" Ben said, panicking. He was losing her.

"Something important came up," she said decisively.

"But you will stay for Trey and Mary's engagement party, right?" asked Ben.

Liz thought for a moment. Another 2 days? "Yes, of course. That's why I came here in the first place."

They were quiet, then Ben said, "Wow, this is rather sudden."

"Yes," Liz nodded. "But it was out of my control."

"Your parents will be disappointed."

"Perhaps, but they'll manage."

"What about me?" said Ben, softly.

Liz stared at him. "I d-don't understand..."

"I think you do," he said. "It's obvious really. You must know that I love you very, very much. I've loved you since the first time I saw you in that flight from New York. Imagine my delight when I found out that we'd be living in the same house. I love you so deeply, passionately that it hurts when I'm near you. I know that you don't return my feelings, but we have a chance...the chemistry between us is undeniable. If only you gave me a chance. I do love you so with all my heart."

"I...I had no idea," whispered Liz, not knowing what to think, how to feel. "But you don't know me...how...?"

"As I said before," Ben looked straight into her eyes. "I know you enough. And since when does love know any boundaries. I tell you I love you. It's not a frivolous infatuation, if that's what you're thinking. I'm not that kind of person. I've never fallen in love and I don't think I ever can. It's you that I want."

Liz could think of nothing to say.

"Liz, say something," Ben pleaded. "Please? You don't know the torture of loving someone implicitly and not knowing what they think of you."

Liz forced herself to look up and said, "Ben...I don't love you." She saw him wince but continued. "I'm sorry, but I have to be blunt. I like you very much and I don't want to hurt you, but it's true. My heart belongs to someone else."

"William?" he interrupted her.

"Yes," she nodded, with a slight tremble. "I'm sorry..."

"Don't be," he said. "I knew you were too good for me. William is one lucky guy... He is a fool to let you go."

Liz looked down. Ben said, "I'm sorry for bothering you. I'll leave now. Bye." With that he left the balcony. Liz stared after him. He loved her! She had no idea. She should have seen the signs coming. But she had thought his friendliness to be evidence of his good nature, that's all. Besides, he was a flirt. But Liz couldn't help wondering whether she had done the right thing. Of course, she had, she was quick to think. Her life was complicated enough without Ben in the picture.

The same night; after dinner

Elizabeth found an opportunity to tell her family and friends of her impending departure. Her excuse was sudden business that needed to be attended to immediately. But she couldn't expect to escape without comment.

"Oh, really Elizabeth, it can't be that boring in Iowa!" exclaimed Mr. Lucas, good-naturedly.

"But Lizzy!!!!" cried Mrs. Bennett.

"You will stay for my engagement party, Lizzy?" asked Mary with concern.

"Yes, Mary," smiled Liz. "I wouldn't miss it for the world."

She stole a glance at her father and Jane. They said nothing, but she knew she had to talk to them later...in private. She found herself looking around the room for Ben, but he was nowhere to be seen. Strangely, the thought of not seeing him tugged at her heart, but she chose to ignore it.

"Liz?" Charlotte came to her. "Has this anything to do with William, by any chance?"

"No!" lied Liz.

"I'm sorry, it was just a guess," said Charlotte. "Do you want me to come with you?"

"No, Char, I won't cut your visit too," said Liz. "I'll be fine, really."

"Liz?!" Kate called her. "Have you seen Ben?"

Liz looked at her sister, "Well...I talked to him a little while ago in the balcony, but I haven't seen him after that. Why?"

Kate smiled, "Oh, no reason." Now that Liz was leaving, Kate knew that she'd have Ben all to herself and that comforted her. "Thanks, anyway." She went away, looking for Ben, presumably.

That night; at the Bennett Farm

"You could have told me," reproached Jane when they were alone in their room.

"I'm sorry Jane," said Liz. "It came too suddenly."

"I don't believe you're telling us everything," said Jane. "Can't you trust me? What is it that you're hiding?"

"Jane, please," Liz said, miserably. "Don't ask me to explain. I'll tell you when I'm ready." To Jane's horror, she started to cry.

"Oh, my poor baby!" Jane hugged her sister. "Good...let it go. It'll feel better. You don't have to tell me, okay. I'm sorry I pushed you." She let her sister cry her heart out without comment.

"I'm sorry Jane," Liz dried her tears. "I don't know what came over me."

"You're just exhausted," Jane told her. "Get some sleep. You'll feel better in the morning."

"Yes, thanks Jane," said Liz, though she knew in her heart that she wouldn't feel better in the morning. Her troubles wouldn't be over so soon. They had just begun.

2 days later; Mary and Trey's engagement party

"Congratulations, you two!" exclaimed Liz. "I wish you all the happiness in the world."

"Thanks, Lizzy," Mary said. "You must come to the wedding."

"Yes, I will," said Liz. She smiled at Trey, "Take good care of my sister. She's a gem."

"I know," smiled Trey, looking at Mary, who blushed. "I'll make sure that she's as happy as she can possibly be!"

Liz smiled at the happy couple and moved away. She was very happy for her sister, of course, but couldn't help the pangs of jealousy. Why couldn't she and William be like that? Liz saw Ben talking amiably to Mary and Trey. Then, he walked off with Kate. Why did it bother her? Liz didn't know, didn't want to know. She wouldn't follow Ben with her eyes the entire evening. She sat down resolutely. But that didn't help. Her eyes sought him out again. He was still talking to Kate. What on earth were they talking about? She thought to herself.

Then, suddenly, the band began to play Tim McGraw's "Please Remember Me." Couples began to form and dancing commenced. Unable to bear it any longer, Liz fled outside. This had been one of her favorite songs, her and William's. It brought back too many memories of similar starlit nights and romantic venues. The music could still be heard faintly but Liz tried to block it away. Ben was probably dancing with Kate. It bothered Liz in the corner of her mind, but she pushed that thought away.

"May I have this dance, please?" a voice whispered softly from behind her.

Liz turned around, "Ben!" she added, "Why aren't you dancing with Kate? After all, you've been talking to her all evening!"

Ben smiled, "Are you jealous?"

"No!" she exclaimed. "But you didn't answer my question..."

"I came out here because I want to dance with you." Extending his hand, "Will you?"

With little hesitation, Liz gave him her hand, "Yes...right here?"

"Why not?"

All our tears have reached the sea
Part of you will live in me
Way down deep inside my heart
Days keep coming without fail
New wind is gonna find your sail
And that's where your journey starts

Liz felt Ben's comforting arms around her and felt her heart tingle. Maybe it wasn't such a good idea after all.

You'll find better love
Strong as it ever was
Deep as the river runs
Warm as the morning sun
Please remember me.

Liz looked up into Ben's eyes and saw such unconditional love that it scared her.

Just like the waves down by the shore
Gonna keep on coming back for more
Cause we don't ever wanna stop
Out in this brave new world you see
Oh the valleys and the peaks
And I can see you on the top

"What are you thinking about?" she whispered softly.

"You," answered Ben.

You'll find better love
Strong as it ever was
Deep as the river runs
Warm as the morning sun
Please remember me.

Liz shivered, and said no more. The intensity of his eyes puzzled and scared her.

Remember me when you're out walking
When snow falls high outside your door
Late at night when you're not sleeping
And moonlight falls across your floor
And I can't hurt you anymore

There was a flicker of pain in Ben's eyes. He was hurting, Liz knew instinctively. Hurting because of her, because of his love for her. But did she love him? She wasn't as indifferent as she would like to believe.

You'll find better love
Strong as it ever was
Deep as the river runs
Warm as the morning sun
Please remember me.

As the song ended, Liz saw that Ben was looking into her eyes thoughtfully. Even as the music ended, he didn't let go of her. His closeness had a strange effect on Liz and she didn't like it. She almost felt like she was falling in love with him...almost.

"Ben, I - " Liz began to say, hoping to get away while her heart was still intact. But before she could continue, Ben had bent down and she felt his lips on hers. He was kissing her with unrestrained passion! And to her dismay, she was kissing him back. She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him back with equal force and passion. For how long they stood together, she did not know, but when they surfaced, they just looked into each other's eyes in silence.

Then, Ben said, "Did William ever kiss you like that?"

Hearing William's name, Liz quickly realized what she had just done. "Ben..."

He interrupted her, "The other day you told me that you didn't love me. I don't believe that. You have some feelings for me...I can see it in your eyes."

"Maybe so," said Liz. "But I can't....."

"Can't what?" asked Ben, his eyes poring through her. "Can't love me?" Liz nodded. He continued, "But why?! Why won't you allow yourself to love me? Why won't you listen to your heart?"

"Because I did once before and it left me hurt," said Liz.

Ben looked at her, then placed his arms on her shoulders, "Forget about that, Liz. I am not William. I will never hurt you like he did. You have to believe me. I don't know what he did to you, but I hate him for that. It hurts me to see you pining away for him. He isn't worth it. You deserve much better. Come to DC with me?"

Chapter 17

Posted on Friday, 23 July 1999

"What?!" exclaimed Liz, not sure that she'd heard him right.

"Come to live in DC," said Ben slowly. "I'm offering you a job in the Art Gallery...you're an exceptional painter. You can work in the gallery and sell your paintings."

"But, I can't do that," said Liz. "I have a life in New York."

"But will you be happy there?" asked Ben. "When everything reminds you of William?"

Liz was silent. The suggestion sounded better and better to her.

Ben's eyes were sincere, "I'm not saying this out of my own selfish desire to be near you, though it does play a role in it. I want you because you're a great painter."

Liz looked into Ben's eyes, letting herself fantasize about what that'd be like. He was so persuasive. She felt like she couldn't refuse. "It's a very tempting offer, Ben..."

"But?" A cold fear enveloped his heart.

"But I'm afraid I'll have to refuse," she said. "I have my life in New York and I can't abandon it yet." That was true. Liz wanted her baby to grow in New York, near its father. She wanted to find some way to work it out with William.

Ben looked like he'd been shot in his heart. But he nodded, "Yes, I understand. I was a fool to think that I could convince you to come with me." He turned to go. But Liz called out, "Ben!"

He turned to look at her, "Yes?"

Liz smiled a little, "Thank you for understanding."

He gave her a pained smile and then went inside without a word.

The next morning

This was the day Elizabeth was leaving. She had finished packing her few bags and was set. The whole family was assembled to say good-bye. Her dad was standing all by himself in a corner. She went to him first. She hugged him.

"You're going too soon, Lizzy," said Mr. Bennett.

"I know, dad," said Liz. "But I have no choice."

"You know where to come if you're ever in trouble," he said kindly.

Did her father know? Liz thought not. "Yes dad, I know. Thanks! Bye."

She said goodbye to her mother, her Aunt and Uncle Gardiner, her sisters Mary, Jane, Kate and her almost brother-in-law Trey. She looked around, but couldn't find Ben.

"Where's Ben?" she asked.

Trey said, "He went out early this morning, but I'd thought he'd be back by now. I'm afraid he's going to miss you."

He hated her now, thought Liz with dismay. She'd have liked to say good-bye to him. Maybe she'd see him at the wedding. "Well, tell him I said good-bye."

The taxi that was going to take her to Sioux City Airport had arrived. She said her final good-byes and got in. As the taxi left the premises, Liz looked back at Bennett Farm. It would always be home in her mind, no matter where she went. She had always loved it and now she did so even more. In her mind, she envisioned her child growing up in such a farm, finding the same pleasure in the open fields and horses that she had.

1 hour later; Sioux City Airport

Elizabeth stood with her boarding pass, waiting for her flight. She didn't know what she felt, how she would face William or what she'd tell him. She could think about that later. At the present, she found herself thinking of a certain Ben Hamilton, his smiling face, his teasing eyes and his dark hair. She still didn't know what she felt for him, but she did know that she was very unhappy to leave him behind.

"You didn't think I would let you without saying good-bye, did you?" Came a familiar voice from behind her.

She whirled around and exclaimed, "Ben!" Indeed, it was him.

He held out a bouquet of the reddest roses in the world. "These are for you."

"Oh! There're lovely!" Liz said. And, impulsively, she hugged Ben. He held her tightly and Liz found strange comfort in his strong arms. She lingered there longer than necessary, but Ben didn't mind.

The announcer's voice boomed, "Now boarding, Continental Flight 7764 to New York City. Passengers, please proceed to Gate T5."

"Guess this is it..." said Liz, moving out of Ben's embrace.

"Yes," said Ben. "You know, I'm leaving myself tonight."

"Oh, really?" she said. "I thought you'd stay longer."

"I have no reason to stay," he said with meaning that Liz could not mistake. She blushed.

"I have to go," she said softly.

"I know," said Ben.

Liz tiptoed and kissed Ben on his cheeks. "Goodbye, Ben. Thanks for everything." With that she left, turning back only once to wave at Ben. A single tear drop rolled down her eyes as well as Ben's.

The next morning; New York City

Elizabeth walked confidently into William's office building. She had decided last night that it would be best if she told him the news in person. It wasn't something to be casually communicated over the phone. And Liz didn't have the courage to call William either lest someone else picked it up again.

She went up the elevator and strode into his office without hesitation. Then, she stopped. She'd expected to see William's secretary Suzy, but there was a different girl sitting there. Not losing hope, she walked up to her and said, "Hi, I'm here to see Mr. Darcy."

"He isn't in, ma'am," said the girl. "Did you have an appointment."

"No, but it's important that I see him," said Liz. "Do you know where he is?"

"He's at a conference in Rome," said the girl. "But if it's important, perhaps you can talk to Ms. Bingley..."

"No!" exclaimed Liz. The last thing she wanted was to see Caroline. But as luck would have it, the woman herself came out.

"Rosy, I thought --- " She stopped as soon as she saw Liz. "Well, well, well. If it isn't Elisa Bennett?!"

"Caroline," said Liz through gritted teeth.

"What gives me this pleasure?" asked Caroline sweetly.

"I came to see William, but since he isn't in, I'll come back later."

"Oh, sorry, darling, he won't be here for the next 2 weeks," informed Caroline. "I guess you know about him..."

"Know what?" asked Liz suspiciously.

"That he's living with another woman now, of course!" said Caroline.

"You're lying!" fumed Liz.

"Oh am I?" mocked Caroline. "Don't believe me, then. You'll find out soon enough. Her name's Amber Jefferson, btw. She even went to Rome with him."

Amber! That was the girl who picked up the phone when Liz had called William. Maybe Caroline wasn't lying. "She did?" asked Liz slowly.

"Yeah," said Caroline, smiling. "Those two are pretty close. And I can't blame him. Amber is attractive! And after all, William is a free man. He can have whoever he wants. It's not like you care."

Liz's eyes blazed with anger and jealousy as she said, "I've heard enough, Caroline. Goodbye!"

"Won't you leave a message for William," she asked.

"No!" exclaimed Liz as she practically ran out of the room.

Caroline smiled to herself satisfied. I've done my good deed for the day! She thought.

That night

Liz had been crying ever since she got back to her apartment from William's office. Why had she thought that William still cared? Why had she hoped to make things go right? Why had she tried to see him again? Because of the baby. It was simple. She had wanted the best for her child, but obviously, William didn't care anymore. While she was suffering alone in New York, he was enjoying himself with some floozy in Rome. It sickened her to even think about it.

Liz decided that she couldn't continue to live like this. Soon, William would be back and she'd run into him and Amber. She knew that she wouldn't be able to bear it. Soon, she'd be showing that she was pregnant...William would know and he wouldn't care. Liz wouldn't be able to live with that. She knew what she had to do. William would never know.

She picked up the phone and called a number she'd noted a few days ago. "Hello?" a masculine voice answered.

"Hello, Ben? It's me. About that job offer...is it still available?"

Chapter 18

Posted on Monday, 2 August 1999

"Liz, are you sure?!" Ben's voice was filled with concern.

"Yes," replied Liz firmly with a confidence she did not feel.

"But what happened?" Ben asked the inevitable. "Two days ago you were telling me about your life in New York. And now you're willing to leave everything?"

"That was then and this is now," said Liz.

"Did you talk to William?" asked Ben.

"No," she said with a little hesitation, not wanting to lie. "And it doesn't matter either."

"Listen, Liz," Ben said. "You know that the job is open to you, but I don't want you to feel pressured by me or anything to take it. I want you to think it over, but otherwise, you are welcome to come to DC anytime."

"I've thought it over," said Liz decisively. "I'll give my notice tomorrow and can start work in DC in 3 weeks. Sound okay?"

"Sounds great!" replied Ben enthusiastically. "As long as that's what you want..."

"Yes," lied Liz. "This is what I want."

1 week later; Faulkner Gallery of Art, New York

Charlotte looked at Liz with amazement. "You what?!!!!"

Liz had expected no less. She told her friend to sit down. "I resigned from this job. In another 2 weeks, I'm moving to DC."

"I can't believe this!" Charlotte held her head as she sat down. She had flown in from Iowa the day before and Liz had mustered all her courage for this meeting. "Is it because of Ben?"

"No!" denied Liz emphatically. "This has nothing to do with Ben."

"Uh-huh," commented Charlotte. "And I suppose it has nothing to do with William either?"

Liz looked down at the ground, knowing she couldn't lie...successfully anyway.

"I see," Charlotte said. "You're too scared to face William again, is that it?"

"No, Char!" Liz exclaimed. "It's not so easy. Oh, why don't you try to understand?"

"I can't," stated Charlotte. "I'm losing my best friend and I can't understand why. A divorce doesn't have to change everything, you know."

"I know, Char. I know," Liz said. "I just guess I'm not so strong after all."

For a moment, Char just stood there looking at Liz. Then, she rapidly walked up to her and hugged her tightly. "I'm going to miss you so much, Liz..."

"Me too," said Liz. When the friends finally separated, Liz said, "Char, can you promise me something?"

"What?"

"Please don't tell William where I went..." Her eyes pleaded pathetically.

"I don't know, Liz," Char said. "It'll be so hard to keep it from him..."

"Please, please?" Liz insisted. "It's very important to me. I need to get away and I can't if William's there...please, Char. For me?"

Char looked at her friend, then nodded unwillingly. "Okay, for you. I promise."

"Thank you!" Liz hugged her again, relieved. She couldn't bring to tell Char that she was pregnant. Char would never be able to hide that from William and at that point, all Liz wanted was to run away from New York without William being any the wiser.

The next 2 weeks Liz packed up all her belongings, getting ready to move to DC. She called and told her parents and sisters. Jane was delighted, of course, in the anticipation of having her sister so near her. Lydia, who studied in George Washington in DC really didn't care. Mr. And Mrs. Bennett suspected Ben Hamilton had something to do with it, which made Mrs. Bennett very happy. She had high hopes of Liz marrying the promising young man in the near future. Liz did nothing to discourage those hopes whenever Mrs. Bennett hinted it over the phone. She knew it would do no good. As for Mr. Bennett, he kept his thoughts to himself, only congratulating Liz on the new job.

As Liz got ready to leave the city that had come to become her home, she often found herself walking by herself in Central Park. It brought back so many memories. It used to be William's favorite place to go to on a lazy Sunday afternoon. She always walked the same trail that she used to with William and had coffee in the same café. Oftentimes, her walks ended with standing for hours in front of their old apartment. Her eyes watered when she thought of what it could have been. At such times, her hands rubbed her slightly bulging belly as she thought of the child that would come into the world without a father. Her heart cried, but she was resolved to be strong...for herself and her baby.

3 weeks later; McLean

Jane exclaimed, "I can't believe you're here!"

Liz smiled, "I know...I never thought I'd do this."

"Well, I'm very happy." Liz had moved 3 days ago and Jane was helping her in apartment hunting. Ben had offered to help, but she refused. Liz was in a very fragile emotional state and she didn't feel ready to see Ben yet.

"What do you think?" Jane asked, as they walked through the 2-bedroom apartment.

"It's very nice," stated Liz, mentally placing the nursery. "It's not too expensive, either..."

"Yeah," Jane said. "So..."

"I'll take it," she said decisively. "There's not much chance of finding a better one at less, is there?"

"No, not really," admitted Jane.

"Fine," Liz walked out to the balcony, inhaling the fresh air and looking at the horizon.

"Lizzy...," Jane came up behind her. "What's the matter? Ever since you came, you've been very moody. Tell me what happened?"

"Nothing," Liz tried to smile.

Jane raised her eyebrows. "Does this 'nothing' have a name...maybe beginning with 'W'?"

"Jane," Liz frowned. "I don't want to talk about it. Please." And she went back in.

"Okay, fine." Jane sighed. Something was bothering her sister and she had to find out what...no matter what the cost. That was the only way to help her.

Meanwhile, in New York

Charlotte was deep in thought as she headed for the cafeteria. She had managed to avoid William all this time as he was away in Rome. But now, he was back, or so she heard from her 'sources.' And that scared Charlotte, because she did not want to lie to him. But Liz didn't give her much choice. Suddenly, she bumped into someone.

"Sorry, my bad," she muttered, not even looking up.

"Charlotte!!!"

Charlotte raised her head in horror. "William...um...hi."

William was beaming. "Charlotte, I can't tell you how glad I am to see you again. Where did you disappear to?"

"Iowa," said Charlotte softly.

William looked at her. "Oh...and...um..."

"Liz was with me, too," Charlotte saved him the trouble.

"Oh." His whole demeanor clouded. "Um...how is she?"

"Okay, I guess," Charlotte lowered her head.

"So, she's back in New York...?" he asked the inevitable.

"Listen, I have to go," said Charlotte rushing. "Maybe sometime later."

"No wait!" he ran after her.

"Yes?" she turned around hesitatingly.

"You have to tell me," he said forcefully. "Char...please..."

"William," Charlotte looked at him. "She's not in New York..."

"Oh...," he paused. "So...when's she coming back? Is she still in Iowa?"

"No," Charlotte sighed. "She's not here...and she's not coming back."

"How do you mean?" William stared at her.

"She resigned from her job and left. She's gone for good." Charlotte said the words and regretted it. Now William would never rest till he found her.

"Left?" William roared. "How could she?! You know where she is, don't you? Tell me!"

"No," said Charlotte, firmly. "I can't tell you. I promised."

"Char, you have to," he thundered. "Char, please? Listen...I have to see her."

"It's too late," said Char. "You're too late, William."

A pained expression crossed his face. "But I love her," he murmured.

"I'm sorry," Char said. She almost broke down...almost. "I have to go."

"Okay," William let her go. "Wait!"

"Yes?" Char said. "What now?"

"If you talk to her," he began. "Um...well, next time you talk to her...tell her...tell her...well, tell her that I love her and...I miss her."

"Okay," Char agreed. "I will." And then, she walked away, not turning back, knowing that the sight of the broken-hearted man would break her resolve and would force her to break her promise.

The next day; at the Art Gallery; Wash DC

"Liz, you made it," Ben greeted her, kissing her casually on her cheeks.

"Yes," Liz smiled. "I made it."

"I really wanted to pick you up at the airport," said Ben.

"We went over that before," smiled Liz.

"Yeah, but still," Ben laughed. "I am relentless, aren't I?"

"Very," agreed Liz.

Ben looked around to see if anyone was around. "I still love you," he whispered.

"Ben...," Liz started to say when someone knocked on the door.

"Come in," said Ben, jumping away from Liz.

"Is she here?" a head popped in.

"Yes, do come in," Ben said again.

A young, blond, pleasant man walked in, smiling.

Ben turned to Liz, and said, "This is Rick Fitzwilliam. You'll be working with him."

Chapter 19

Posted on Tuesday, 17 August 1999

Elizabeth extended her hand with a friendly smile. "Hi. I'm Liz."

"I know," said Rick, shaking her hand with a luminous smile on his face. "I've heard a lot about you."

"Really?" Liz raised her eyebrows.

"Sure," said Rick. "Ben here couldn't stop talking about you."

Liz blushed and saw that Ben had hastily diverted his eyes to the ceiling. She turned to Rick and said, "Oh, is that so?"

"Yes," continued Rick. "Ben is known to exaggerate shamelessly, so I was a little wary, but I must say, you exceed all my expectations."

"Why, thank you!" exclaimed Liz, half-laughing at poor Ben's discomfort.

Then, Ben quickly changed the topic. "Liz! Rick is rather new here himself. He was away in Africa for several years working with the UN. He is an expert in African art and has returned to the US only recently. We are very fortunate to have him with us."

Liz was impressed. "I studied African art in college. I think it's fascinating and quite different from the traditional European concept of art."

"Yes, definitely," Rick agreed with her. "What I love most about African art is that it is so very natural, so free from ostentatious, ornate designs. The artworks from different tribes from various parts of the country exhibit the traditions and nature of their respective tribes. It is a study in history, essentially, which is invaluable since so much of the continent's past is relatively unknown to the modern world."

"So, I take it you had a lovely time?" Liz ventured.

"Absolutely!" Rick smiled. "It was quite an experience. The only downside was that I didn't have much contact with my family and friends."

"But now you're back!" Ben said. "Okay, you two, let's get moving. We have an auction in 5 days and we have to get ready for that."

Liz liked Rick very much. He was obviously knowledgeable and very passionate about his subject. He was warm, open and very friendly. All in all he was the perfect boss and Liz felt like she'd gained a friend. She was very excited and anticipated a great time in DC.

Liz settled in very quickly. She picked up the basics easily showing her aptitude and natural flair for art. She worked as a senior assistant for Rick, but also worked on her own paintings in her spare time. Her relationship with Rick was very easy and comfortable. They found out that they had much in common and got along remarkably well. The only thing weighing down on Liz's mind was Ben and her other secret that threatened to reveal itself soon.

Ben behaved like a perfect gentleman, never attempting anything or alluding to anything. But Liz knew that he was in love with her. And it pained her because she knew she couldn't return it. There was also the little matter that she was carrying a baby no one knew about. Lately, she had suffered from a lot of mood swings and was putting on weight. Sooner or later, she would have to tell someone of her condition. She preferred it to be later.

One day, about 3 weeks later, Liz was not feeling great. Her head hurt and she felt very irate. But being obstinate as she was, she denied it all and stubbornly continued to work. Ben had been observing her for a while before he approached her.

"Maybe you should take rest of the day off, Liz," he suggested. "You look like you can use it."

"No!" she replied emphatically, her head immersed in some paperwork.

"Liz...," Ben tried to reason. "It's almost 4 and you look tired. Go home and rest."

"I don't need to rest!" she shot back. "I need to finish this."

"Liz, I was only trying to help," Ben said with a little frown. He had noticed Liz's mood swings lately and couldn't figure it out.

Liz flushed and looked up. "Sorry, Ben. It's just that...well, I'm in a lot pressure lately and I have some personal issues and I just get overwhelmed sometimes."

"I understand," nodded Ben. "That's why I want you to take a break."

Liz looked at him for a moment and Ben thought she would resist further, but surprisingly, she said. "Yes, you're right. I think I'll pack up and leave this for tomorrow."

She grabbed her bag, said quick "bye and thank you" and left. Ben watched her leave thoughtfully. She had been so aloof, so moody recently that he struggled to keep his concern under check. He loved her more with every passing day and was utterly frustrated. She was very pleasant to him, but that was all. No indication of any feelings beyond those for a friend. Sometimes Ben wondered if he'd be better off without her there serving as a constant reminder to his unrequited love. He sighed and shook his head, returning to work.

As Liz drove back to her apartment, she found her thoughts on William once again, as it had been often. She had talked with Charlotte, who told her of her meeting with William. Charlotte seemed to think that William actually cared about her, but Liz knew that was just wishful thinking. She had toyed with the idea of calling William several times, but did not have the courage. She thought of telling Jane, but did not have the courage. She feared their reactions and was not emotionally ready for that inevitable revelation.

She stopped at the red light, casually looking around, with those thoughts wandering in her mind. And then, all of a sudden, she felt a little jab in her stomach and stiffened. She moved her hands there and felt it again. She cried out in joy. Her baby was kicking!

"I want to feel our baby's first kick, Elizabeth. I want to be there for that moment."

"I'm sure you will."

"And the baby will be very strong, I know that. My little girl."

"Girl? I want a little boy, William. Just like his father."

"But our first will be a girl, Lizzy...just wait and see."

Liz felt hot tears streaming down her face as she recalled every word. Her first baby's first kick and William wasn't there. It was all she could do to repress her sobs. The kicking had stopped and Liz was anxious to feel it again. The honking of the car behind her informed Liz that the light had turned green for sometime now. She hit the accelerator with determination. She had made up her mind.

20 minutes later

Liz was ringing the bell. Jane opened the door and was startled. "Lizzy!! What happened?"

Liz's swollen eyes were evidence enough that something was terribly wrong. She looked defeated, hopeless, tired...reaching out for help. She said softly, "Can I come in, Jane?"

"Of course!!" exclaimed Jane, letting her in. "Lizzy, this is freaking me out. What happened?"

Liz walked into the living room without a word, with Jane close on her heels. She, then, turned around, looked at Jane, put her hands on her stomach and said,

"Jane, my baby kicked today."

Jane was dumbfounded. She stared at Lizzy for a moment, disbelieving her ears, but the gleam in Liz's tear-streaked eyes told her that it was the truth.

"Your...baby?" Jane managed to say.

Liz could only nod in affirmation. She waited eagerly for Jane to say something, but she didn't. Jane was silent, as if in shock, absorbing the news. She looked surprised, disbelieving and totally unsure of what to think.

"Is it William's?" Jane finally asked.

"Of course!" exclaimed Liz, indignantly.

That settled, Jane said. "How far along are you?"

"About 3 months," answered Liz.

"Does he know?" Jane asked the inevitable.

Liz shook her head in negation and lowered it.

"You haven't told him?!!" Jane exclaimed. "Oh my god, Lizzy! What are you thinking? Who else knows about this?"

"Just you and me," said Liz. "I haven't told anyone."

And, then, she started sobbing. Jane watched her for a second before leaning forward and embracing her sister. Liz let go of all her pent-up emotions and cried her heart out. Jane tried to soothe and comfort her with some kind, gentle words. Eventually, the crying subsided into a quiet sniffing.

Jane said. "Why, Lizzy? Why are you hiding it? It's nothing to be ashamed of."

"I'm not ashamed," sniffed Liz. "I just...well, I can't tell William and I was scared to tell anyone else."

Jane led Lizzy to the couch and told her to sit down. She fetched some Kleenex and gave it to Liz before sitting down next to her. Liz smiled gratefully and wiped her tears.

"Now tell me about it," said Jane. "You found out in Iowa, didn't you? That's why you left hastily."

"Yes," Liz nodded.

"And then you went to New York?" Jane asked and Liz nodded. "So, what happened there? Did you see him?"

"No, I didn't," said Liz. "I didn't because he was in Rome with his new girlfriend."

"Oh, Lizzy! I'm sorry!" exclaimed Jane. "But still...why didn't you tell him later?"

"I can't, Jane!" Liz exclaimed. "Don't you see? I simply can't face him again. He'll take my baby away... I can't tell him..."

"But he has the right to know," pointed out Jane, quietly. "No matter what happened between you two, he has as much right over this baby as you do. Don't you think it's fair that he at least know about it?"

"I guess."

Jane continued. "Are you planning on telling him ever?"

"Um...yes..." Liz ventured.

"Don't you think he'll be a little bitter to know that you hid the fact from him?" Jane demanded. "He'll be hurt and angry and I wouldn't blame him. A lot of kids are caught between a divorce and that's tragic. It's the same with your baby, except it's not in the world yet."

Liz was silent.

"Look, Lizzy," Jane softened her tone. "I love you very much, you're my sister. I want to help you. I can't force you to do anything, but I can advise you. And my advice is: tell him. You won't regret it."

Liz looked at Jane. "Do you really think so, Jane?"

"Of course, I do!"

"What about his girlfriend?"

Jane sighed. "Well...he is divorced. You can't demand that he not see anyone. I say, give him a chance...talk to him. You'll work something out. I just know it."

Liz stared into space, reflectively. She said. "Maybe you're right, Jane. But I need time to think." She got up and hugged her sister. "Thanks so much!"

Jane smiled. "Anytime, sis." And, she grinned brightly. "I'm going to be an aunt!! I'm so excited."

Meanwhile, back at the Art Gallery

Rick was on the phone. "So what do you suppose we can do, Georgia?"

The voice on the other end groaned. "I dunno, Rick. There's not much we can do. I've tried talking to him, but he insists he's fine. But I know he's not because he sulks in his dark room all day."

"When was the divorce?" asked Rick.

"About 2 months ago," Georgia said.

"And the wife...?"

"Oh, Elizabeth?" said Georgia. "She moved away somewhere. William doesn't know where she is. And that, I think, is killing him more than anything."

"He has to move on," said Rick. "Doesn't he go out or anything?"

"No way!" exclaimed Georgia. "He has a lady friend, Amber, but she's just a friend."

Rick paused thoughtfully. "Want to send him to DC for sometime? It might be a good break for him."

"That's a good idea!" exclaimed Georgia. "I'll talk to him. Bye, Rick!"

"Bye Georgia!" Rick hung up. He sat on his desk thoughtfully. He hadn't seen his cousin William for a while and had never met his wife. What was it about her that William still brooded over her. Rick didn't know what to think.

The same day; Café Noelle

Liz ordered a cappuccino and occupied an empty stool on the counter. She had come straight here from Jane's place. She was confused. While Jane's advice made sense, Liz didn't know what she would say to William if she called him. 'Hi William! Remember me? Oh, btw, I'm having your baby!' That would never work. But Liz had come to a decision...one way or another, she would tell William.

The cappuccino came and Liz paid for it. On opening her purse, she spied the picture of William she always kept with her. It had been taken when he was a senior in college. His boyish grin and gleaming eyes melted her heart and whatever doubts she might have had, vanished. This was the man she had loved, whom she still loved, whom she had married. And now, she was having his baby. She would tell him everything.

Liz still recalled vividly, every detail of the last time she'd seen William.

"So I guess this is good-bye, William." Liz looked into his eyes, then quickly looked away.

"But I will see you again," he said confidently.

"No," said Liz. "You won't. I can't do that."

"Why?" He demanded. "Because you know that you love me and seeing me will be painful."

Liz said nothing, and her silence told William he was correct.

"But this is insane, Lizzy!" cried William. "Why are you doing this to me, to us?"

"William, we both knew this marriage wouldn't last," Liz shot back. "We belong to different worlds; we're not meant for each other. You need someone who understands the pressure of your job. Someone like...Caroline." The last words were almost a whisper.

"Caroline?!" William thundered. "So, that's what it's about? Lizzy, I told you before Caroline means nothing to me. Hawaii was a mistake. I don't know what happened. I didn't mean to hurt you."

Liz averted her face so that he wouldn't see her tears. Then, in a stronger voice, she said. "Please, William. This is useless. I've made up my mind. Believe me, it's the only way."

"No, it's not!" he exclaimed, grabbing her shoulders and pulling her close. "I'll quit my job. We'll go away to live in the country. We'll be happy, Lizzy..."

For a moment, she wanted to believe him. But she shook her head. "You wouldn't be happy. Pemberley Consultants is your life. You would never be happy without it. And then you would be bitter and hate me. I don't want you to hate me."

"I could never hate you, Lizzy...," he said softly. "I love you." His eyes mesmerized her and before she knew what was happening, he had lowered his lips onto hers and was kissing her passionately. Liz felt all her resolve melt away as she surrendered to him. They kissed like they'd never kissed before and would never kiss again. Finally, Liz freed herself from his grip, pushing him away. His eyes had a look of triumph in them as if he had won.

"You can't seduce me into doing what you want every time, William Darcy!" she screamed. She fought back her tears, handed him the divorce papers and said. "Good bye!"

She hadn't seen him since.

"Excuse me?" a masculine voice brought Liz back to the present.

"Yes?" Liz looked at the attractive man standing next to her with a grin on his face.

"I think you dropped this," he handed her William's picture.

"It must have fallen out of my purse," smiled Liz. "Thank you."

She turned away from him, but the man said, "That's William Darcy, isn't it?"

Liz stared at him in surprise. "H-how do you know?"

"Oh," the man laughed. "It's a long story."

"I want to hear it," said Liz with finality in her voice.

"You sure?" he asked.

"Positive," Liz said. She extended her hand. "Elizabeth Bennett."

"George Wickham," the man shook her hand and sat down next to her. "Where should I begin?"

"At the beginning," said Liz. She was mystified and wanted to know what he had to say.

"Alright," he smiled and cleared his throat, ready to begin his story.

Chapter 20

Posted on Monday, 30 August 1999

Elizabeth waited expectantly for George to begin his narrative. He cleared his throat and said, "Well...William Darcy and I grew up together. You see, my father was old Mr. Darcy's steward. Anyway, so we spent our childhood together in Pemberley...it was me, him and his sister, Georgia. You know Georgia?"

Elizabeth nodded and George said, "Delightful girl, isn't she? Where was I....ah! Okay, so from the beginning William was intensely jealous of me. He was very competitive and did not like the fact that his own father was so attached to me. He was always cold and reserved and very spiteful towards me."

Elizabeth began to protest, but stopped herself in time. She wanted to hear the whole story.

George continued, "My father died about 5 years ago and William's father did not live much longer. I went to Columbia with William...but William still deeply resented me. So, he framed me in an honor code violation and I was kicked out of school for cheating."

George paused and Elizabeth thought: this must have been before I met William... She said aloud, "But that's awful! Are you sure William did that on purpose? It might have been a mistake?"

"I'm afraid it was no mistake," George shook his head. "In fact, William came to me and bragged about it. He said he was happy that I would finally leave him alone. He said he didn't need any competition, esp. Since he'd met this new chick he really liked."

New chick?! Elizabeth thought outraged. She was careful not to let George see her indignation. But George smiled to himself as he saw the bullet hit home.

Elizabeth managed to say a tolerably controlled tone. "So, then, what happened?"

"I transferred to another college, but William had succeeded in destroying my future," said George glibly. "But I didn't hold a grudge on him. If he thought that he couldn't compete with me that was unfortunate for him. I could only wish him all the best."

Elizabeth felt herself grow angry. "I can't believe William would do something like that? How perfectly awful!!!"

"Well, what can I say?" George resisted the temptation of grinning. "I met William once to twice after that. He got married to that college chick, he told me? Did you know her?"

Elizabeth barely shook her head in negation, the muscles of her face, tightening.

"Oh," continued George. "Well, William bragged that his wife was hopelessly in love with him. It was a power trip for him. He wanted to prove himself to me, I suppose. He boasted how he had a string of affairs and his wife never found out. I was quite ashamed of him that day."

Elizabeth cried inwardly. How could she have been so blind? All the time, William went away on "business" he was probably with another woman. And to think, she'd believed in him so implicitly. Elizabeth felt like a fool.

"I heard he's divorced now?" said George, observing Liz closely. "Well, I wouldn't be surprised. She probably found out about one of his romances! He has quite a reputation when it comes to seducing women! But then, you probably know about it?"

"Yes, I know about it," said Liz through clenched teeth.

"Did you know him well? A friend?" asked George.

"Yes, he was a friend...," Liz's eyes misted and she looked far away. She recollected herself and looked at George. "Thanks a lot. You have been very helpful." She muttered a disjointed 'goodbye' and walked out of the café.

Well, smiled George smugly, that went very well. Very well indeed!!!

As Liz drove away from the café, her mind was reeling and she was losing her hold on reality. She had no reason to doubt George's words...indeed, why on earth would he make up such a story? No, it must be true. But it was too terrible for Liz to believe. His words had hurt her irrevocably. Liz shuddered to even think of what she'd heard that night.

William bragged that his wife was hopelessly in love with him...She probably found out about one of his romances...He got married to that college chick...He has quite a reputation when it comes to seducing women...He boasted how he had a string of affairs and his wife never found out...

Over and over, those terrible words reverberated in Liz's mind. She could not stop hearing them. And then flashes from the past came before and words from long ago haunted her.

I love you, Elizabeth..... Caroline means nothing to me.... I love you..... I want to feel our baby's first kick, Elizabeth.... We're going to be very happy, I promise you..... Don't leave me.... I love you, Elizabeth.....

By this point, Liz was practically sobbing, tears hazing her view. Suddenly, she slammed on her brakes. A bloodcurdling scream followed. And, then there was silence.

"Elizabeth?!!!"

Liz moaned and slowly opened her eyes to find herself looking into Jane's.

"You're awake!!! Oh, Lizzy!!!"

Liz looked around the strange place. She said softly. "Where am I?"

"The hospital, dear," supplied Jane. "Try not to talk too much, Lizzy. You're still very weak. Oh, I've been worried sick! You really scared us."

"What happened?" Liz rubbed her head for it hurt terribly.

"Your car crashed, Lizzy," said Jane, her voice trembling.

A sick horror overcame Liz. She was too afraid to ask. "And my...baby?"

Jane's voice was sad. "I'm sorry, Lizzy...but you lost the baby."

"NO!!!!!!!!" Liz screamed and fainted.

"Is she still asleep?" Ben's voice was full of concern.

"Yes," said Jane. "She woke up for a bit, but then...."

"I see," said Ben.

Liz could hear their voices around her, but did not have the will to open her eyes. Her spirit was broken. She cast her mind back to the previous night and felt herself get angry. William had killed their baby, she sobbed inwardly. He had betrayed her and because of that, now her baby was dead. Liz could take it no more. Her sobs were audible. Jane came instantly to her side.

"Lizzy? Lizzy! It's okay, honey," said Jane, comfortingly. "You'll be okay."

"Jane," whispered Liz. "He killed my baby..."

"Who did?" Jane asked softly in Liz's ears.

"William..." Liz's voice was almost inaudible.

Jane said nothing. She assumed that the shock had been too much for Liz and she was not aware of what she was saying. Jane tried to cheer Liz.

"Okay," said Jane. "Ben is here. He has been waiting here for a long time. I'll go get him."

Momentarily, Ben appeared in the room and came to Liz's side. "So, how are you feeling?" he asked amiably.

Liz looked at Ben, then looked away. She said nothing. Ben exchanged puzzled glances with Jane, who shrugged her shoulders. Ben looked intently at Liz, then approached her and held her hand.

"Liz...?" he said softly.

"Go away!!" exclaimed Liz, still not looking at him. "I don't want to see anyone."

"But..." Ben started to protest.

"Just leave me alone...all of you!" screamed Liz, quite agitated.

Jane nodded at Ben, who looked pained. He glanced at Liz's turned face, sighed and left the room. Jane followed him out. Liz closed her eyes and cried her heart out.

2 weeks later

"I hate to see her like this," said Ben.

"I know," agreed Rick. "But what can we do?"

Ben was at a loss. It had been 2 weeks since the fateful accident, but Liz had still not recovered, well, mentally anyway. Physically, she was the same as she eve was, but she had changed in every other way. Her ever-present smile had vanished, and so had the sparkle in her beautiful eyes. She possessed a distant sadness in here eyes and would gaze into nothingness. Liz tried to do her normal job, but had lost her enthusiasm, her spirit. In all essence, the real Liz had died with the accident and had been replaced by this Liz, who took no pleasure in anything, and whose sadness touched her every move.

"I don't know what to say to her," said Ben, frustrated. "She won't even talk to me. Maybe you..."

"No," Rick shook his head. "I tried to talk to her once, but she wouldn't listen. It's useless. What about her sister?"

"Oh, Jane?" said Ben. "Well, she told me that Liz has withdrawn from her as well. It appears that Liz just goes home by herself and broods. No one can reach her."

Rick sighed. "I'd give anything to have the old Liz back. She was fun."

At that moment, the subject of their conversation appeared.

"Hey Liz!" greeted Ben, with hopeful eyes.

"These papers need your signature Rick," said Liz somberly, not returning Ben's greeting.

Rick exchanged glances with Ben and took the papers.

"Thank you," said Liz and walked away.

Ben just watched her go with a heavy heart. He loved her so much and it killed him to see her like that. But, as he said before, what could he do when he didn't even know what was bothering her?

The same day

Liz sat on her chair with some important papers in front of her. But she was staring straight ahead and her mind was occupied.

"We'll be so happy together, darling. I love you so much."

"Do you, William?"

"More than life itself, Elizabeth..."

"He has quite a reputation when it comes to seducing women..."

"William bragged that his wife was hopelessly in love with him..."

"Our first will be a girl, Lizzy..."

"You lost the baby..."

Liz closed her eyes, trying to shut out the voices, but of no avail. They haunted her night and day. There was nowhere to hide. Liz felt terribly alone and betrayed in the world. She could not even share her problems with Jane. It hurt too much and she was too proud to let anyone else into her world. No, Liz had decided that she was destined to be alone, always. She used to have her baby, but that too had been taken away from her. Maybe it was a sign. Maybe, Liz thought, it was a sign that she was unworthy of love. That's why god had taken away her baby and William...

Suddenly the phone buzzed.

"Hello?"

"They're waiting for you in Room 2, Ms. Bennett," said the secretary. "The new consultants are here."

"I'll be right there," said Liz, sighed and rose from her seat. She walked to Room 2 and knocked on the door.

"Come in," said Ben. He rose to greet her. "Liz, this is the new consultant..."

The man turned to face her.

"...William Darcy," completed Ben.

Liz almost fainted in shock.

Chapter 21

Posted on Sunday, 26 September 1999

It was with every ounce of her willpower that Liz prevented herself from gasping out in horror and shock. The wave of emotions she experienced was overwhelming. A part of her was happy to see that boyishly handsome face again, but another part of her screamed in revulsion and disgust. Suddenly, the room began to spin and Liz felt the overpowering need to escape the unbearable situation.

Ben noted the dizzy look in Liz's eyes and the darkening of her facial expression with alarm. He glanced at William Darcy, who stood transfixed, the half smile frozen on his face. Ben exchanged bewildered glances with Rick, then uncomfortably cleared his throat.

"Liz, you - " he began quietly, but the rest of his sentence was lost.

"Please excuse me!" Liz broke in and hastily left the room.

A stunned silence ensued and the first one to recover was Rick. He looked at William and said, "Well...that was interesting."

William recovered himself and looked at Rick. "Um...you didn't tell me she worked here."

Rick was puzzled. "You know Liz?"

William smiled ironically. "I used to be married to her."

Exclamations of surprise were expressed at this proclamation. Ben looked at Rick, then William and said. "I'd better go after her." He left the room quickly.

William sank into the nearest chair and held his head in his hands. He sighed. Rick watched him quietly for a few moments, then ventured. "I didn't know you and Liz...oh, I feel so stupid! I never connected her with you..." Rick recalled his earlier conversations with Georgia. They had discussed William and his ex-wife on many occasions, but it had never occurred to Rick that the love of William's life, Elizabeth and his co-worker Liz were the same person.

William said calmly. "How would you know, Rick? You'd never met her. It's just that, well...I didn't think I would see her so soon. She just disappeared from New York and the last thing I expected was to see her here." He shook his head slowly. Then, he asked, "How is she doing?"

A pained expression in Rick's eyes told William all he needed to know. "Not so good. She had an accident about 2 weeks ago and she's not been the same ever since. She's been depressed...totally unlike herself."

William let out another sigh. "She doesn't want me here...I could see that in her eyes."

"But you can't leave, Will," insisted Rick. "The gallery needs you."

William cursed the day he had agreed to come down to Washington to audit the art gallery and give other financial advice. Every moment spent with Liz would be pure torture. He had ached so long to see her, but having her so near and knowing she was out if reach, would kill him, for sure. But there was no way out, William decided.

"I'll stay."

Meanwhile, Ben searched for Liz, finally finding her in the relative safety of her office. Ben did not enter at once. He just gazed at his lovely Liz. She was staring at her computer screen, a few tears rolling down her cheeks, which she quickly wiped away. Her expression was solemn, grim. And Ben hated William. He hated William for what he had done to Liz, for how much she loved him still, for taking away the one woman he loved. Shaking away those thoughts, Ben knocked delicately on the door. Liz looked up, then hung her head again.

"Don't make me go back there...please."

"I won't," Ben assured her, walking in slowly.

Liz looked up again, this time her eyes were gleaming slightly. "Thank you..." she murmured. "William...he..."

"I know," said Ben softly. "He told me. I'm sorry, Liz. I didn't know..."

"It's okay," said Liz, unconvincingly. "I'm okay. I can handle this..." Her voice cracked.

"Liz..." Ben was very close and he looked searchingly into Liz's eyes. Her tears threatened to overcome her and she shook her head slightly. Ben felt his heart wrench and held out his arms. Liz embraced him warmly. Ben wrapped his arms tightly around her waist and murmured into her hair.

"Oh Liz..."

Very vulnerable, Liz said shakily. "I don't know if I can do this...his mere sight makes me physically ill. I hate him! I hate him so much."

Even as she said this, Ben knew she was lying, not only to him, but to herself. But he did not contradict her. He just held her close, comforting and soothing her and her soft sniffs stopped. At length, Liz looked up into his eyes wonderingly and said, "Thank you..."

Ben smiled. "Are we ready to go back, then?"

Liz hesitated, then said. "Yes."

As Ben and Liz entered the room again, William got up from his chair. There was tension and electricity in the air between them. William took in every aspect of the familiar form that had haunted his dreams. She was more beautiful than he remembered. But the laughing expression in her eyes was gone. She's been depressed, Rick had said. And he was right. The sadness in here eyes was unmistakable. Dare I hope? Thought William. Can it be for me? Could she have missed me as much as I missed her?

He has not changed, thought Liz ruefully. She noticed with wariness that his handsome, open face was still as charming as ever. The firm lines of his jaws and his deep brown eyes had not changed. And yet, to Liz, he was not the same person. In her mind, he was the man who had betrayed her love and killed their baby. He has quite a reputation when it comes to seducing women...William bragged that his wife was hopelessly in love with him... A faint glimmer of the love she felt for him was quickly crushed.

"William," she said coldly.

"Elizabeth," acknowledged William.

They were silent once again, eyeing each other. The force in William's eyes unnerved Liz. For a moment, she toyed with the idea of telling William exactly what she thought of him, but she stopped herself just in time.

"Let's get to work," she said and the others followed her lead.

"It's awful, Jane," said Liz, on the phone to her sister. "Every second I'm with him, it reminds me of all I've lost. And I hate him for that. How can I work with him?"

"Lizzy..." said her sister, concerned. "Are you going to tell him about the baby?"

"No!" exclaimed Liz. "I shall take that to my grave. He lost the right to know that a long time ago. You won't say anything, will you Jane?"

Jane sighed. "No, I won't be caught in this. The only advice I have for you is, don't let your feelings blind you. Be fair to William. There might be an explanation..."

"I don't want to hear any explanations," said Liz stubbornly. "I could never believe him again. No, Jane, there is no hope for us, if that's what you think. He's going to be here for a few weeks and then, he'll be gone. That's all."

"Whatever you say, hon," Jane did not believe her for a second.

"I mean it, Jane!" exclaimed Liz forcefully. "I will never let William Darcy into my heart or my life again!"

As was customary, Liz was one of the first to arrive at work. She had made it a habit to get up with the sun, jog and go to work. Her disturbed state of mind had kept her awake for majority of the night, but she found herself calming as the cool morning breeze hit her face in her convertible. She admonished herself mentally for reacting to William the way she had. There was no occasion for that. She would meet him only on the basic business level and refused to be affected by him in any possible way. With a determination of steel, Liz sped along the Beltway.

Refreshed and determined, Liz walked confidently into her office and stopped short at an appalling sight. It was William. Having heard her footsteps, William looked up from a paper he was working on and smiled. Liz felt her determination sway, but firmly quelled the desire to rush into William's arms.

"What are you doing in my office?" she demanded.

"I thought I'd start working on those accounts," explained William, standing up.

Liz did not reply. Her eyes traveled over William's familiar form; his curly hair, his muscled arms, his toned chest. Her resolve was melting away by the second. She glanced into William's eyes and noted a gleam of triumph that infuriated her further. She walked past him and sank into her chair.

"Okay then, let's work."

Liz sat down with finality, refusing to look at William, the devilish gleam in his eyes disturbing her. When she looked up again, William was standing with a cup in his hand. He laid the cup on the table and smiled,

"Black coffee, no sugar. Just the way you like it."

For a second, Liz felt like she was transported back in time to when her world was still intact. She stared at the cup, then looked at William. His face was earnest, his smile warm. Liz recognized that smile. It was his most charming smile, meant impress and melt a woman's heart. And to her dismay, Liz felt herself melting.

"Thank you," she said with effort. "You still remember?"

"You'd be amazed at how much I remember," said William with meaning. "It hasn't been that long." Although it feels like an eternity...

"No, it hasn't..." murmured Liz, almost to herself. And yet, so much has happened.

"How have you been...?" asked William, pulling a chair closer to the table.

"Still alive..." muttered Liz, not looking at him. Then in a stronger voice, "Fine...just fine. And you?"

"Life's been hell," said William candidly. Liz looked up in surprise. "...without you."

Liz didn't know what to say. Her heart was stuck in her throat. She wanted to say that she missed him so much that it hurt, but the words didn't come out. She wanted to tell him how much she still loved him, but didn't have the courage to say it. William was looking into her eyes, thoughtfully, waiting for her to say something. But Liz was spared from the necessity of speaking, as her secretary peeped in.

"Good morning, Ms. Bennett...I forgot to mention it yesterday, but your doctor called. He wants to see you again this Friday at 7...shall I call him and make the appointment?"

"Yes, Becky, thanks," Liz managed to say.

"What's wrong?" asked William, concerned.

"Nothing," said Liz. But inside, she was boiling. William's charms had almost blinded her to the truth she had wanted to deny to herself. He did not love her...he had used her and unwittingly, killed her baby. Liz shuddered to think how she had let herself be influenced by him again.

"Liz? Are you alright?"

"Yes," Liz broke out of her reverie. Handing him some papers, "Here are the tax returns you asked for..."

William looked at her as she arranged her papers and sighed. She had not reacted to his declaration. In his heart, he knew that she still cared for him. But she was so cold and distant. Her proximity, her scent, her soft hair...intoxicated him. How could he control himself with her so close to him? How could he forget all the time he'd spent with her, all the love they'd shared? How could he forget that it was his own folly that had driven him away? That was asking the impossible.

They spent the next hour in the same manner, engrossed in work, yet keenly aware of the presence of the other. But they were both steadfastly concentrated on their respective work. It would be impossible to imagine that anything of great importance was achieved by either since much of their efforts were employed in shutting the other's image out of their minds. Finally, Liz got up.

"Where are you going?" asked William.

Liz did not reply. She couldn't because she didn't know the answer herself. All she knew was that if she didn't leave instantly, she'd go mad. As she reached the door, it swung open and Ben appeared with his usual grin. He saw William and the smile slowly faded. Liz's face lit up and she kissed Ben lightly on his cheeks.

"Good morning! I'm just on my way out." Saying thus, Liz left the room.

William stood up warily and faced Ben, both men eyeing the other menacingly in jealousy and mistrust.

Chapter 22

Posted on Monday, 18 October 1999

"Good morning, Ben," said William, at last, breaking the uncomfortable silence.

Ben recollected himself, putting aside the wave of jealousy he felt for the man who faced him. "Good morning. Working early, I see."

"Always have," replied William.

"Good for you," muttered Ben and said no more.

Ben regarded his competitor for Liz's affections and decided that William was not worthy. He had broken her heart and did not deserve her. Ben smiled inwardly at the bitter irony of reality that had thrown them all together in such a manner. Just when he thought he was getting closer to Liz, who should appear but the legendary William. Ben knew that it was an unjust emotion, but he despised William. It was not a malicious hatred, but rather stemmed from envy. Ben realized that he could never possess Liz's heart the way William had, and it drove him crazy. If he ever lost her to him, Ben knew he would go insane. He simply loved her too much.

William cleared his throat, uncomfortable under Ben's scrutiny. Ben realized his folly and hastily left for his room. William stared after him thoughtfully for a few moments before shrugging and returning to work.

Liz fought hard to concentrate on the papers in front of her, but her mind invariably wandered, her thoughts centered on the man in the next room. His appearance had been sudden, to be sure, but Liz knew she would have to strong to be able to bear it and get through it. She repeatedly told herself that William's coming to DC would not affect her life in any lasting way, but her inherent instincts told her she was wrong and that was what concerned her the most. Unable to concentrate, Liz picked up the phone and dialed a New York number.

"Hello?" a female voice picked up the phone.

"Charlotte?" asked Liz tentatively.

"Liz!!!" exclaimed Charlotte, overjoyed at hearing her friend's voice. "You haven't called me in ages! How are you?"

"Fine," Liz managed to say. "Um...Char...he's here."

Puzzled, Char asked, "Who??"

"William," whispered Liz.

"What?!" exclaimed Char, truly surprised. The note of astonishment in her voice was genuine.

"You didn't tell him about me, did you?" asked Liz.

"No way!" said Char. "I would never do that to you...but how? What's he doing in DC, of all places?"

"That's what I'd like to know," muttered Liz. "He's in the art gallery I work for...Ben hired him for an assignment audit..."

The irony wasn't lost on Charlotte and she empathized with her friend. "So, what are you going to do?"

"There's nothing to do really. I'll just have to deal with it."

"He's very unhappy without you, Lizzy..."

"Char, please..."

"I'm just telling you like it is," said Char. "I saw him at work everyday. He's one heartbroken man."

Liz closed her eyes to stop the tears from flowing. "Char, I can't...do you understand that?"

"No, I don't," said Char. Sensing her friend's hurt, she added. "I'm sorry. I have no right to tell you what to do. It's your life."

"Someone's here...I have to go, Char. Bye."

"Take care, Lizzy."

Liz hung up and looked at the arrival.

William said. "I...ah, wanted to ask you about these balance sheets."

Liz sighed and motioned William to sit down. It was going to be a long day.

Liz was among the last ones to leave work. As she gathered her belongings and walked to the elevator, she heard her name being called, followed by rapid steps. Looking back, she saw Ben walking towards her. The elevator arrived and they got on.

"Hey! How was your day?" asked Ben.

Lousy. "Fine," said Liz.

Ben looked at her, knowingly and said, "Are you going to be able to manage this?"

His meaning was very clear, and Liz said, "I'm not sure...maybe."

"You can always come to me if you need to talk," said Ben, looking into her eyes.

Liz glanced at him, and said, "Thanks Ben. I appreciate it."

The elevator stopped and they got off. Ben walked Liz to her car.

"You want to get some coffee or something?" he asked hopefully.

Liz looked at him, squeezed his hand and shook her head. "No, I'd rather go home, but thanks for the offer." She gave him a small smile, got into her car and rode away, leaving Ben with a tingling sensation where her hand had touched his and an aching sensation where his heart would have been had he not given it away to her.

The next morning, when Liz arrived at work, she found in her mail, the following:

Washington Arts Society Charity Ball
Saturday from 8:00 p.m. to 2:00 a.m.
At the Plaza Hotel
10th street, Washington D.C.

Liz groaned inwardly, determined not to go. There was a knock on her door and Ben entered. He was about to speak when another knock was followed by the entrance of William with some papers. The men eyed each other warily, then looked at Liz. She looked from Ben to William and back to Ben, then looked down at the invitation.

"So?" said Ben and the sentiment was reflected in William's eyes.

At an impulse, Liz made up her mind.

Chapter 23

Posted on Friday, 12 November 1999

It was, by no means, an easy decision, but Liz decided to act on impulse. Glancing briefly at William, Liz linked arms with Ben and said, "I would love to go if you will take me."

Ben beamed, glancing triumphantly at a surprised William and said, "I'd be honored to. Pick you up at 7?"

Liz nodded, trying to smile. Ben bent forward and kissed her lightly on her cheeks. Liz froze. Ben noticed her reluctance and looked into her eyes, reading her mind. He sighed inwardly, and smiled. With another long, parting look, he quit the room. Liz looked hesitantly at William, who just stared at her for a few moments with questioning eyes as if to ask why she was doing this to him. Liz looked away and walked to her desk before turning and saying,

"Can I do something for you?"

"No," said William softly. "You've done enough."

With those words, he turned on his heels and rapidly disappeared from the room. Liz sank into her chair, highly confused. What had prompted her to make the decision she'd made? She didn't know. Could it be a wish to make William jealous? Perhaps. But that would mean she was using Ben and that idea didn't particularly appeal to Liz, either. Ben was a very sweet guy and Liz did not want to hurt him in the least bit. But if she was going out with him for all the wrong reasons, he would definitely end up getting hurt. And then, there was William. He had a knack of turning up at all the wrong places. He had acted as if he was hurt, as if he still loved her. The way he had looked into her eyes had touched Liz's heart and made her swoon. But, she berated herself quickly. She would not allow herself to fall for his charm again. Very confused, Liz took out a piece of paper and began writing.

Who are you?
I thought I knew you,
But I clearly don't.
I see you standing across the hall,
And I see the man I once loved.
But is it really you that I loved?

Who are you?
You haven't changed one bit.
The same eyes, the same hair, the same face,
That drove me crazy once
Drives me crazy still.
Am I the one who has changed?

Who are you?
Wherever I go, there you are,
Always disturbing my peace of mind
I have tried to escape you
But haven't succeed
Do I really want to escape?

Who are you?
I know you don't love me
I know because of all the lies you told me
Because of all my hurt
Because of all that happened
Why are you here?

Who are you?
Your presence is a curse
That makes every day hell
My life's out of control
Cuz I still love you so much...
Oh, why don't you just disappear?

Liz stopped and read what her heart had poured out. It felt so good to finally express what she'd been feeling for so long, what she'd been denying for so long. Yes, she still loved him and that was the crazy thing. It was a continual hell for her to see him everyday, knowing things could never work out. The wall between them was insurmountable and Liz knew the futility of expecting anything beneficial to transpire from this unfortunate crossing of paths. Nevertheless, who was she to dictate matters of the heart? She loved William and would continue to love him, no matter what happened. It was a simple fact that complicated her life uncontrollably rendering it all the more disturbing. Liz sighed again after re-reading her poem. She put it away and focussed her attention on the work in front of her.

Saturday; The Plaza Hotel

The sleek limousine stopped in front of the hotel and a man in a tux emerged. He offered his arm to the lady that came after him. She accepted with a small smile and the couple slowly walked towards the door. The woman looked stunning in a burgundy gown that clung provocatively to her body. The man beamed looking down at his partner ever so often. He exuded happiness, while the woman was less expressive of her emotions.

"Have I mentioned that you look absolutely gorgeous?" whispered Ben as they entered.

Liz smiled. "Yes, you have...a couple of times."

"Well, I'll say it again. You look truly beautiful."

"Thank you," said Liz. "And you don't look too bad yourself."

Ben smiled slightly. He couldn't believe his luck. How had he ever persuaded this angel to go to the dance with him? It was incredible. Who would have thought that such a thing could happen? Certainly not him. Deep down inside, though, Ben knew the reason why fortune had smiled at him. It was not because Liz had miraculously changed her mind or because his love had suddenly triumphed. The key was the one person Ben hated as passionately as he loved Liz.

William.

Ben felt Liz stiffen and he instinctively looked in the direction her eyes had wandered to. His surmises and suspicions were confirmed. It was, indeed, William. He was standing with Rick, looking dashing and carelessly handsome. Ben observed the longing in Liz's eyes as she stared at William when she thought no one would notice. And then, William glanced at them. His eyes met Liz's and he held the gaze earnestly for a few seconds, before releasing Liz from the mesmerizing effects of his eyes. Realizing that Ben might guess her secret, Liz quickly looked at Ben. The gleam in his eyes was strange and inscrutable. He already knew.

Liz had no words to convey her regret at dragging Ben into the mess that was her life. She knew she had shamelessly used him to get to William, not pausing to think of the effect that might have on Ben's emotions. She knew that he loved her and she was playing dangerously with his heart. Ben did not deserve that from her. She was sinking herself and would sink anyone who came close to her. She looked at Ben, all the pain and sorrow reflected in her eyes.

"Ben, I'm sorry..." she said, as he looked at her. "You deserve better than this..." It was hard for her to continue. "I'm sorry that I got into this mess. You can leave anytime, and I'll understand." Liz could not bear to see the expression in his eyes, so she looked away.

"Liz, look at me," Ben commanded in a surprisingly steady and form tone. Liz did as he asked. "I love you and you know that. I understand your situation and am prepared to face it with you. But, when will you understand? I can't help that I love you, just the way you can't help that you love William. I know that you don't love me, painful as that might be. But I'm ready to accept it. That means I won't abandon you. You can always turn to me for help. And whatever you do, don't ever say you're sorry...cuz, Liz, there's no room for 'sorry' in love. You say that I deserve better than this, but I think that I'm doing just fine." At that moment, he smiled. "Now, what do you say we dance?"

Liz smiled and joined him at the dance floor where a slow song had just commenced. If Liz had felt guilty previously, there was no measure for her feelings after Ben's little speech. He was too good to her. What did she do to deserve his love? But it was a love that had no future. What was there to look forward to but heartbreak? Ben held her close as they gently swayed to the music. He hoped his words had comforted Liz, for god knows, it did not such thing for him. He had released her from any obligations she might feel towards him, but where did that leave him? If, heaven forbid, she ever got back with William, what would he be left with? An aching heart and a handful of memories. Why couldn't he, then, simply walk away from this lose-lose situation? That was the key, thought Ben wryly. He couldn't just walk away. He was playing with fire and he knew he would get burned in the process. But it had reached a point where he didn't care anymore.

Liz rested her head on his shoulders and Ben could smell the sweet fragrance of her hair. It intoxicated him and he knew he was dangerously close to losing control. Warning bells rang in his mind and to divert himself, he said hastily,

"Do you remember Liz, the first time I saw you?"

"In the plane, yes," Liz looked up at him with wondering eyes and Ben wanted so badly to kiss her, but he repressed the urge.

"You were so...distant, I could never have imagined that a few months later I would be dancing with you."

"Nor I," sighed Liz. "I behaved so badly, it's a wonder that you didn't hate me."

"Hate you?!" Ben laughed at the notion of a feeling so foreign. "It simply intrigued me all the more."

"Oh, Ben," smiled Liz. "I really don't deserve you."

"Nonsense," dismissed Ben with a shake of his head. "But Liz, do you think there is even the smallest chance for us? Or should I not hope...?"

"There is always hope, Ben," Liz found herself saying as she looked into his eyes. "Maybe not for now, but for the future."

"Do you really mean that?" asked Ben doubtingly.

"Yes," whispered Liz, not knowing what she was promising.

"Oh, Liz," said Ben softly, and they twirled to the music.

The dance ended and the couple parted. Ben was obliged, as a prominent member of the art gallery, to mingle with the other guests. He was reluctant, however, to leave Liz by herself. She assured him, laughingly, that she could manage on her own. He kissed her softly on the cheeks before leaving to tackle Washington's elite. Liz watched him disappear into the crowd and sighed. She had made a huge promise to him, and it was one she intended to keep. She did not know from whence it sprang, but she was suddenly inclined to encourage Ben. After all, it was no use to wallow in self-pity forever. If she wanted to get over William, she would have to take a more active interest in life. And Ben was so sweet and so much in love with her. It would not do to break his heart. Liz rationalized calmly until she was convinced of the merit of her decision.

Liz was walking, lost in thought, her body unconsciously swaying to the rhythm of the music, when a deep, familiar voice said from behind her,

"May I have this dance?"

Liz whirled around in surprise and found herself staring straight into the dark, bottomless eyes of William. His face was hard as steel, betraying no emotion whatsoever. The only trace of any human feeling was in his eyes. They gleamed in some divine manner, conveying hidden messages. There was a challenge in those eyes as if William dared Liz to dance with him. To her surprise, Liz found herself accepting. She searched for a sign of triumph in his eyes, but there was none. It was as if he had expected it, had known that she would accept. Liz knew that she should be offended, but strangely enough, wasn't. The couple walked slowly to the dance floor as the soft music began playing.

William did not say a word as he pulled Liz close to him and placed a possessive arm around her waist. His eyes were glued on hers as he began to move to the beat of the music. Liz could feel his strong arms around her. She could smell his familiar masculine smell and could see the tiny hair growing on his face. It was unnerving, to say the least. She knew she shouldn't feel anything, but she felt protected and safe in his arms. It felt so right, as if she belonged there.

Their bodies were moving to the music in perfect rhythm as if they had been designed for each other. William's eyes were hypnotic and defiant, issuing a challenge to her. As Liz lost herself more and more in his arms, she could discern the gleam of triumph in his eyes. He had known that he could reduce her to pulp once she was in his arms and he had been right. Liz knew that theoretically, this was the time when she should pull back and walk away, but she couldn't. Maybe it was the strength of William's eyes or the weakness of Liz's resolves, but notwithstanding, they continued to dance, the chemistry between them undeniable.

As William pressed closer, Liz felt herself react to his closeness in all the familiar ways. She felt the familiar thrill run up and down her spine and a tingle on all the places where he touched her. She felt dizzy by all the sensations that overwhelmed her. She could not tell, by just looking into his eyes, whether William felt the same things she did. There was a singular determination about him, a steel determination that blinded him to all other emotions. Maybe he did feel something, but Liz could not discern it. As the song began to end, he pulled her even closer to him till there was no space between them. Liz's breathing was labored and she was trembling. At that instant, William smiled slightly,

"Now, why don't you try and make sense of this," he said in a challenging voice. "Did you feel like this when you danced with him?" His hands gently caressed her cheeks. "Did you feel like this when he touched you?" He looked into her eyes. "Did you feel like this when he held you close?"

By this moment, Liz felt the last ounce of her will power and self-control slip away and she knew that the only way to regain her sanity was to distance herself from William. So, accordingly, she pulled away from him, unable to utter a single word, trying desperately to compose herself. William advanced towards her and said,

"If you can still look me in the eye and say that you don't love me, you'll be lying...to me and to yourself. Why are you fighting what is inevitable?" he said in a coaxing tone. "I know you felt the chemistry between us...it's pure magic. How can you throw it away?"

"Very easily," Liz regained her voice, though it was still shaky. "I don't want any of your magic. I was doing fine until you showed up."

"Then what was it that we just shared?" demanded William. "Come on, Liz, you can't deny it...if you're as indifferent as you claim, why were you trembling in my arms?"

Liz had no answer, so she ignored the question. She walked away from the dance floor and found William following her. He grabbed her shoulders and turned her around, "I won't let you walk away this time without an explanation. Why are you doing this to me?"

"You know very well why," said Liz, losing her patience and looking at him, her eyes flashing.

"No, I don't."

"Just leave me alone, William," exclaimed Liz. "Please..."

"Is that what you really want?"

No. "Yes," she said aloud.

"Fine," he said, gave her a last parting look and walked away.

Liz watched him leave and her heart wrenched inside her. She was still dazed from the confrontation and didn't know what to feel. She had betrayed herself in front of him and she was ashamed of herself because of that. But what he'd said was true. She did not react in the same way when she was dancing with Ben. Ben was nice, very sweet, but William... Liz cursed him under her breath. Just when she thought she had everything figured out, he had to come and confuse her even more. She needed a drink.

Liz found the bar, sat on a stool. The bartender asked for her order and she said, "Vodka, please."

Later in the evening, a figure sat down next to Liz. She glanced at the new arrival and looked away again.

"What do you want?" she slurred.

"Liz," said Ben. "I've been trying to find you for half an hour. Then, William told me he saw you at the bar. He...he also told me that you don't usually drink. I'm here to take you home."

"William sent you?" said Liz, looking at Ben. "Well, he can go to hell. Think he can get me so easily? I hate him. I despise him..."

"Liz, you're drunk...," said Ben soothingly.

"No, I'm not drunk, goddammit!" said Liz firmly. And then, she passed out.

The morning sunshine streamed into the room as Liz slowly stirred. She did not open her eyes because her head hurt and she felt vaguely nauseous. She vowed never to touch vodka again. Liz felt strong arms encircle her waist and instinctively snuggled closer to the source of warmth. The grip of the arms tightened and pulled Liz closer, when suddenly her eyes flew open and she let out a little scream.

"You!"

Chapter 24

Posted on Friday, 19 November 1999

William opened his eyes and smiled, "At your service."

"What are you doing here?!" screamed Liz, panicking. "Get out!"

"Calm down, Liz," said William, still not moving. He smiled his warm smile and Liz felt her heart melt. She realized, to her dismay, that she was still snuggled close to William. Instantly, she jumped out of the bed and then, sat down on the chair beside it, holding her head.

"God, I have a headache."

"Had one too many vodkas, I think," said William, propping himself on the pillow with his elbow. "You know you never drink...what were you trying to pull off?" He gave her a quizzical, half-smile as if he could divine what was in her heart. Liz felt a familiar tingle just by being under his scrutiny and shook her head. It was too early in the morning and she had no strength to fight.

"Just save it, I don't have to listen to you," she said irritably. "Now tell me, what happened?"

"What do you think happened?" grinned William, his innuendo unmistakable.

"I would never---!" Liz paused. William's suggestion was outrageous. She would never ever do anything...would she? She did not remember anything; her mind was blurry. The last thing she recalled was the disastrous dance with William.

Observing Liz's troubled look, William quietly said, "Don't worry, nothing happened between us. No matter what you think of me, Elizabeth, I would never take advantage of you."

Her name rolled so agreeably off his tongue that Liz looked at him earnestly. Before, he had only called her Elizabeth in some special intimate moments or when he told her that he loved her. Liz realized that the longer he stayed, the weaker her resolve would get. So, she averted her eyes and said, in a calmer tone,

"Can you tell me why you're here?"

"Well," began William. "There's not much to tell, actually. After you, ahem, passed out, Ben was about to take you home, but apparently, some very important investors showed up and he had to accompany them. So, I offered to bring you home... I must have fallen asleep here...I was pretty tired. Believe me, I didn't mean to invade your privacy."

The note of sincerity in his voice softened Liz's gaze and she uttered, "Oh."

"So, you see, it's much more innocent than you thought."

He smiled again and Liz felt herself drawn to him. She had forgotten how charming he could be. And so very confident, too. He was lying on her bed in her house with a smug on his face as if he belonged there. There was not the least bit of embarrassment or awkwardness. In all appearances, he believed that he had a right to be there. Liz sighed inwardly. She could see herself easily falling for him again. And that was the sad part.

"Well?" said William finally, after studying her for a long time. "Now that I'm here, what are we going to do?"

"We are not going to do anything," said Liz firmly. "You are going to leave."

"Can I at least have some breakfast?" asked William, the disconcerting smug still on his face. "I'm hungry." There was nothing for Liz to do, but accept.

"Do you want coffee?" she asked wearily.

"If it's not too much trouble," said William smoothly. As Liz began to leave the room, he said, "Do you mind if I take a quick shower?"

"No, go ahead," said Liz and left.

This is unreal, she thought as she made her way to the kitchen. He is here and acts as if nothing's changed. She could still smell his masculine scent and wondered why she was putting herself through the ordeal and the answer was simple...she could not turn him away. Liz had accepted the truth that she would never cease to care about William, no matter what had happened, but she had not foreseen that his mere presence would disrupt her peace of mind in such a manner. She knew it was very weak of her, but she could not deny her feelings. William was manipulating her shamelessly and she was powerless to do anything.

"Ooh! I smell coffee!" came a voice from behind her. Liz turned around and gasped for there was standing William with nothing on but a single towel that was wrapped around his waist.

"Oh, I borrowed your towel. I hope you don't mind?" William grinned, knowing what effect he was having on her.

The sight of a very damp William wearing next to nothing, standing in her kitchen was disturbing, to say the least. Liz felt the temperature in the room go up by a few degrees as she absorbed the familiar form of her ex-husband. The flimsy towel did nothing to hide his well-toned torso or his muscled arms. The errant curls of his hair were damp and wayward. His expression was flippant, yet alluring and his intentions were rather obvious. The response of any women can be very well predicted and Liz was not much different. Transfixed, Liz found it very difficult to detach her eyes from him and when she did, she was blushing.

Liz silently handed him a cup of coffee and sat at the kitchen counter. William sat down next to her and sipped his coffee. Liz could literally smell his cologne and she seethed at the thought that his strategy was working so perfectly.

"This is a very nice place," said William, attempting to make some small talk.

"Thanks," said Liz, shortly, in no mood to talk, fervently hoping that he'd leave soon.

"You didn't tell me you'd be moving to DC," he said reproachfully.

As Liz looked at him, for a second she thought, What are you thinking? Throwing away a man like this? She immediately berated herself and replied evenly, "Because it didn't concern you."

"But it did," said William. "Don't you see? Everything you do, concerns me."

Liz inhaled sharply, then said, "Just cut the crap, William, will you? I stopped believing in fairy tales a long time ago, so don't try to be my Prince Charming."

The edge in her voice was not lost on William and he replied gravely, "I'm afraid this is no fairy tale...it's my life."

"It's my life, too," replied Liz. "And all I'm asking is that you stay out of it."

"I would, if I truly believed that that's what you wanted..."

His eyes held hers and for a moment Liz thought that he would kiss her. He was so close and yet, he didn't. Liz was almost disappointed. She ached to kiss him, though she didn't admit it to herself. She had dreamed so many times of what it'd be like to be with him again and here he was sitting next to her. It seemed like it was fate. After what seemed like an eternity, William moved slowly closer to Liz, bending forward, seeking her lips. She did not back away and would have gladly submitted had not the bell rung. She instantly jumped out of her chair and rushed to answer the door. She came back with a beautiful bouquet of red roses.

"It's from Ben," she said softly.

William looked at her and said, "Isn't he just sweet?"

Liz glared at him and said, "Yes, he is. He's asking me out to dinner."

"Will you go?" asked William.

"Perhaps."

"Dammit Liz, what in the hell are you thinking?!" he exclaimed angrily. "Don't you think I see the resemblance? Why would you settle for a substitute when you an have the original?"

Liz felt her temper flare and unwilling to engage in any kind of argument, she said, "William, I think it's time for you to leave...please, take your things and get out of here."

William stared at her for a moment, then wordlessly, left the room. Liz collapsed on the chair and held her head in her hands. It was hard enough that she woke with a hangover and on top of that, she'd had to battle with William. It was tiring and emotionally draining. Liz would be very pleased if she didn't have to deal with William anymore. Moments later, he emerged in his tuxedo, looking dashing. Liz thought he was leaving, but he came up next to her and said,

"I'm going to leave, but not before you answer one question: do you love me?"

Liz didn't respond. She couldn't say 'yes', but she couldn't say 'no' either. William searched for an answer in her eyes and found it. He smiled slightly.

"Okay, then," he said. "Liz, I made one mistake...just one, and you punish me for the rest of my life? I hardly call that fair. Can't you find it in your heart to forgive me? I have told you a thousand times that Caroline means nothing and it was just a mistake...why are basing our entire future on that one mistake?"

"William, I don't have the energy or the patience to go over this again. Please, just leave before I lose my temper."

"No, you can't send me away without an answer. Not this time. I saw how you reacted to me...you still care and I intend to find out why you're willing to throw that away."

Liz's patience finally wore out. She stood up and glared at William. "God, William, you're such an arrogant bast**d! You wreck my life, then come waltzing back, thinking you can charm me back into your bed?! You thought that I needed you, that I couldn't survive without you? That's why you were so sure that I'd come back to you. Well, guess what, I'm not. I can survive on my own and have people who care about me."

"Ben," snorted William, feeling the force of her words.

"Yeah, Ben!" said Liz. "He cares more than you ever did."

"You know that's not true."

"Like hell, it's not," said Liz. "I don't need to listen to your lies right now."

"I've never lied to you, never."

"Oh, please, give me a break! You can stop playing your game now. It's not going to work anymore. I know all about you. George Wickham told me!"

"Wickham!!!" William's astonishment was beyond words. "You're basing all this on what he had to say?!"

"Don't act so surprised. You knew the truth would come out sooner or later."

"What truth?" William had no clue what she was referring to.

"How you wrecked his career and how you...how you cheated on me...god, how can you stand there pretending like you don't know?" The bitterness in her voice was evident.

"Oh my god," was all that he could say.

Liz became even more upset and blurted out what she'd repressed for so long. "It's all your fault. You killed my baby. Yes, you didn't know, did you? It was ours...the magical outcome of our marriage...and it died because of you. I was so upset when Wickham told me...I drove straight into a pole. You've ruined my life. And you stand here and demand that I listen to you and answer your questions? Isn't it obvious? I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you with every fiber of my being. It makes me sick even to think of all the time I've wasted on you. Getting back together with you, William Darcy, is the last thing on earth I would EVER do. I'd rather die first!"

The muscles on his face were tightened as William whispered, "And that's what you think of me...I understand very well, Liz, you've said quite enough. I'm sorry for taking so much of your time. Goodbye."

With those words, William silently walked out of the house and Liz heard him drive away. She stood there numb for a few moments before sinking to her knees and crying hysterically.

Chapter 25

Posted on Friday, 26 November 1999

The skies were overcast and the clouds threatened to erupt in rain at any moment. The winds were blowing at a steady pace and the entire aspect was, at best, gloomy. The prospects of a thunderstorm seemed rather fair and accordingly, the clouds grumbled menacingly. There was a promise of things to come, leaving a sense of unrest and unease. But, even the worst of these circumstances could not match the internal turmoil experienced by one William Darcy.

Even the most casual observer would notice the dark intensity of his eyes as he drove at a steady pace. They were fixed at some undistinguishable point in the horizon, but that was not significant. What really disclosed the disquiet of his emotions was the rigidity of his face and the absence of a smile, a frown, or any other human emotion. Had it not been for the occasional flickering of his eyes, it would have been difficult to discern whether he was still alive. As time passed, the non-expression of his face gave way to a silent rage that manifested itself in the darkening of his features and the fire in his eyes.

Oh my god, she was carrying my baby...OUR baby....all that time and she never told me... Well, what a way to find out, he thought bitterly. She had made herself clear, very clear indeed, in a manner that William dared not admit to himself. Oh, but how she must have suffered...all alone...that rascal Wickham. If I ever get my hands on him, that bast**d will pay. William replayed the entire encounter in his head and shuddered. What had he been thinking? I lost my chances...forever. There was no way she would ever consider...there was no point in dwelling on that. It was too painful. He had wrecked whatever chances he had, which were meager to begin with. Why was he so foolish? Why was she so stubborn? Why was Ben so dammed considerate?

William recalled the evening before when he'd seen them dancing together. His flesh had crawled whenever Ben touched her or came near her. It was like dying a slow death to see her close to him and know that she hated him so violently. But till this morning he had no idea how violent and passionate her hate actually was. It broke his heart to know how low she held him in her estimation. That she actually believed what Wickham had said was astonishing to him. How could she even think that he'd cheat on her, willingly? Didn't she know him at all? That was what hurt him the most. The fact that she would believe a stranger over him. It was a wake-up call to him. How long had he arrogantly assumed that he possessed her heart? It was now obvious to him that he never had. How else could he explain the ease with which she'd believed Wickham. She had never loved him the way he had her.

Maybe it was just as well that all this had happened. At least she'd have someone to take care of her, someone she loved, someone like Ben...the mere though of them together was repulsive to him. But William knew it was inevitable. She was very vulnerable and Ben was there for her. Besides, he loved her terribly, that much was certain. William had seen how Ben had looked at her all evening. He would take good care of her. William would have to be satisfied with that. She was lost to him and there was nothing he could do to get her back. William was resigned to that fate, but he could not bear to let her hate him anymore. No, he would have to clear his name, not just for him, but for her. He owed it to them, their marriage, their love...well, his love, anyway.

2 hours later

William rang the bell apprehensively, suddenly at a loss as to how to broach the subject when the door opened. A few moments later, the large door swung open and Ben appeared.

"William! Hi! Come in."

"No, I'm fine, thanks," said William, firmly. "I just came to say...well, I'm leaving tonight by the 8 'clock flight..."

"You're leaving?!" Ben was incredulous. "But why? Your work's not done..."

"Yeah, I talked to Rick...I'll be sending someone to take over," replied William. "I just have to leave...you won't understand." William looked at Ben earnestly, knowing that it was time to say what he had come to say. "Ben, look...I know that we've not been the best of friends, but I wish you very well. Liz...well, she's very special and I want you to take care of her...always..."

"But-"

"No, please, let me finish," said William. "She is very hurt and very vulnerable. Be careful with her heart. Don't hurt her. She'll break, if you do. Just try and...love her the way she deserves to be loved..."

"What happened?" asked Ben softly, stunned.

"It's a long story," said William. "You'd be bored. I have to go...but, please, don't forget what I told you."

With those words William walked to his car and drove away, leaving Ben stunned and dumbfounded at the door.

The rain was falling very hard as Liz stared steadfastly out of the window. Watching the steady downpour had a calming effect on her after several hours of crying. Of course, nothing could calm her in the real sense of word, but it was all relative. A few hours ago she had been crying and shaking violently, but now there was only the quiet stream of tears and an aching heart to remind her of all that was amiss. In a way, she felt better for having released all her pent up anger and emotions, but the outcome was hardly worth rejoicing. The state of her life was now worse, if that was indeed possible. In what way, she was not quite certain. At any rate, she was certain of one thing: William would never solicit her attention in any way. She should have been relieved or even happy. But instead she felt an aching void within her for having lost her only true love once and for all.

Liz was aroused from those somber reflections by the sudden ringing of the bell. Who can it be? It's absolutely pouring out. Liz quickly dried her tears and walked to the door. On opening it, she received the greatest shock of all. It was William, dripping wet, soaked to the skin. He appeared handsomer than normal and much graver. He stared at her earnestly for a few moments before extending a letter which she instinctively took.

"Will you please read that letter?"

With those words and a final parting look, he disappeared into the rain and Liz could do nothing but stare after him. She heard his car drive away and slowly closed the door. For the first time, she glanced at the paper in her hands. It was addressed to her: Elizabeth Bennett. Not Darcy, she noticed, with a pang. Bennet. She debated whether to read it or not, but her curiosity got the better of her and she tore it open. It read:

Elizabeth,

I am glad that you have decided to read this letter for my sake, and for yours. Don't be alarmed, I will not bother to repeat what you already know and didn't like. I don't intend to humble myself or anger you by presenting again those offers that were so repulsive to you. But, I do wish to answer all your accusations, which, if true, would be very sad. Rest assured, they are not true and I beg that you read my defense, if only for justice sake.

Your main accusation was based on what you had heard from one George Wickham. What particular lies he said, I don't know, but I'll tell you about all the circumstances relating to my former friendship with him. George and I grew up as neighbors. His father and mine were close friends. His dad worked for our company and was very faithful. So, my dad was very fond of him and his son. George appeared to be a very innocent and sweet boy. He went to school with me and had all the appearances of a good student and son, but the truth was far from it. For a long time, I had changed my opinion of him after seeing his REAL, vicious side. George was a playboy and a leech who would live off of someone else to avoid work. He kept up the façade of the perfect son for my dad, so that he'd pay for George's expenses. Well, my dad fell for it.

I never said anything because I thought that George would change as he matured and grew up. But I was wrong. My dad died, but left provisions for George's education. We both applied and got accepted into Columbia. During our first year there, before I knew you, George became worse. He partied every night and was heavily involved with drugs. I tried to help him, but he didn't listen to me. I finally gave up and threatened to report him, if he didn't change. He panicked and begged me not to, saying that he'd change his ways. I believed him, the fool that I was. But it all continued, behind my back.

The worst was still to come. Georgia used to stay at home then. She was just 15. One night George came over to the house. He was drunk and wanted to see me to ask for money. I wasn't come, but Georgia was. She remembered him from childhood and invited him in. He accepted. He came in and...well, he tried to rape her. I came back just in time. Liz, she was crying, sobbing, begging him to stop. She was a child, only 15 years old. I don't think you'll blame me for being mad with him. I absolutely flipped. I called the cops immediately and had him arrested. They charged him for assault and possession of drugs. He dropped out of school and I didn't see or hear from him again.

And that, is the real deal. I don't know what he told you, but that's what really happened. Shortly after, I met you. Do you remember how quiet I used to be. It was because of him. I was still scared for Georgia, scared that he'd try to hurt her again. He just told you lies, Liz. You must trust me. I NEVER intentionally cheated on you. Never, not once. What happened in Hawaii was a mistake, and I don't have any greater regret. But I can't change the past. That is the truth, Liz, and I leave for you to believe it or not.

I wish that you had told me about the...baby. I know it hurts Liz. I wish things could have been different, that it could have survived. I would have loved it so much. I just hope that you don't still blame me for its death. I never wished you any harm and I truly didn't mean for things to happen this way. I know how you feel about me, so I won't ask for anything more than forgiveness for all the pain I've caused. I know that even seeing me pains you, so rest assured, you won't have to deal with me anymore. I'm leaving tonight and you'll never have to see me again. I promise. Just find it in your heart to forgive me, and I'll be satisfied.

Well, there's nothing more to say, but good bye and may god bless you.

William

PS: Ben loves you and won't break your heart. I'm sorry.

Chapter 26

Posted on Saturday, 4 December 1999

Liz read the letter once and then over again. It was shocking, to say the least. Liz didn't know what to believe. She remembered vividly the details of the night when she'd met Wickham. Why had he told her what he did? More importantly, why had she believed in him, so implicitly? He was a stranger and she hardly knew him. So why, then, did she take his word over William's? Liz didn't know the answer to any of these questions. Or rather, she wouldn't admit it to herself that the only reason she had believed Wickham was that she needed a reason, a validation to hate William.

As Liz read the letter for the third time, her eyes watered as William recounted Wickham's assault on Georgia. It was obviously still very painful to William. No wonder he'd never mentioned Wickham. He had wanted to forget the entire episode. But, Liz fervently wished that he had confided in her. She would have helped him forget... but it was all in the past and there was no use in dwelling on what could have been. There was one thing, however, that Liz regretted and it was being so harsh towards William. She knew that she had hurt him, but perhaps, it was for the best. He would learn, in time, to move on, although, she could never imagine how they could ever forget the love that they'd shared. Maybe if she'd had the baby...maybe things would have been different... Liz couldn't help but wonder what her life would have been had that tragic accident not occurred. But she stopped indulging in such fantasies and reminded herself that sending William away had been her own choice.

"Oh, Jane, I'm so glad to see you!" exclaimed Liz, as she entered her sister's that evening.

"Liz, you look pale. What's the matter?" asked Jane, concerned.

"Oh, nothing," sighed Liz, as she sat down on the couch. "Everything. I don't know, Jane."

"Tell me," said Jane and Liz recounted the latest happenings. When Liz ended her narrative with a description of the letter, Jane exclaimed, "Oh, poor William."

"So, you blame me for saying those things to him?"

"Blame you? Oh no!" said Jane quickly.

"But you do blame me for speaking so warmly of Wickham?"

"Not really," answered Jane. "How could you have known what Wickham was really like? But it's horrible. How can it be true?"

"You may be surprised Jane," smiled Liz. "But there is evil in this world. And Wickham just happens to be one of them. It's either that or William's lying, and to tell you the truth, I believe William."

"Poor William," repeated Jane. "And his sister too."

"Yeah," sighed Liz. "Now I just wish I hadn't said all those things to William...I just wanted to hurt him so much...I didn't think before saying."

"If it matters so much to you, why don't you call him and apologize?" suggested Jane.

"No, Jane," Liz shook her head. "How could I even talk to him? He probably hates me now. Besides, I have no right to call him...not anymore."

"It's not like that, Liz. It doesn't have to be."

"Yeah, it does," Liz replied. "Don't you see, Jane? Things can never go back to the way they were. I've ruined it permanently."

Jane wanted to comfort her little sister, but there was really nothing she could say or do to ease the pain. It was disheartening to see the sorrow and pain in her eyes, but Jane knew that just asking her to feel happy wouldn't cut it. At such times of distress, there was nothing a person could do but listen to the injured party and console them. It might be dark now, but the sun was just around the corner.

The next morning, New York City

The aspect seemed particularly gloomy this Monday morning, especially to someone who had had such a depressing weekend as William. He strolled slowly towards his office building, unwilling to go in and face another day. He had almost decided against coming to work, but the thought of spending the entire day dwelling on Liz did not seem appealing either. It would simply serve to depress him further. So, somehow, William managed to drag himself out of bed and go to work. As he walked, his mind pondered the questions that confronted him. He had very cold-heartedly advised Liz to seek Ben, but what about him? Was he destined to mourn the loss of Liz forever? Would there never be anyone else? At this point, it was hard for William to imagine himself with anyone else. The memories of Liz were too fresh in his mind.

William entered the building complex and got into the elevator, the only other person being Charlotte.

"Oh William, you're back!" she said. "So soon?"

"Don't ask," replied William grimly. "It was a disaster."

"Really? I'm almost afraid to ask..."

"I just really messed up, that's all," replied William. "And now things are worse off between Liz and me than before."

"I'm sorry, William," said Charlotte sincerely, looking at him directly.

He looked at her and said softly, "Yeah, me too. If I could change the past, I would, but there's nothing to be done, now. She hates me with a passion that I can't undermine. And that's that. I'll just have to learn to deal with it, no matter how hard it is. She's happy in DC...I'll just have to learn to be happy here."

"You know, I'm always here for you," said Charlotte. "if you need to talk or anything."

"Thanks, Char, you're a good friend!" William kissed her on the cheeks. The elevator stopped and he got off. Charlotte touched the spot he had kissed her on and sighed. Friends. Just good friends. Oh, William, when will you ever see?

Meanwhile, in DC

Liz entered her office apprehensively. She was not ready to face another day or see Ben. It would be embarrassing for both of them. She was not sure whether William had talked to Ben and it bothered her. Moreover, she was concerned about their "relationship"? what would happen now? She had not committed to him, but knew that he expected something of her. The question was, could she give him what he wanted? All these questions would soon be answered as the man himself walked into her room soon after.

"Good morning, Liz!"

"Good morning," she said, not so enthusiastically.

"So, I heard," began Ben. "William's gone."

"Yeah," replied Liz, not daring to raise her eyes.

"I'm sorry, Liz, very sorry," said Ben sincerely. "I know how hurt you must be."

"Thanks."

"Before he left, William came to my house," said Ben. "He wants me to take care of you."

"I didn't realize I was his property," said Liz, her anger rising.

"No, please, don't take it the wrong way. You know how I feel about you. I'm not pressuring you. I know what you've been through and I understand. I guess what I'm trying to say is that you don't need to make a commitment to me. Just give me a chance. I'm not asking for much. Just one chance. I know William means a lot to you, but you yourself said that he's in the past. Isn't it time you looked at the future?"

"Fine," said Liz.

"Fine?" Ben's face lit up. "As in, fine, yes?"

"Yeah, as in fine, yes," smiled Liz.

"Dinner tonight?" asked Ben, his eyes shining.

"Okay."

"I love you," said Ben and then, with a quick kiss on the cheeks, left. One day...one day, I'll say those words and you'll say them back to me. Just wait and see.

Chapter 27

Posted on Thursday, 9 December 1999

The ringing of the doorbell signaled Ben's arrival and Liz slowly walked towards the door. She opened it to find Ben standing with a bouquet of beautiful roses.

"For you," he smiled, handing her the bouquet.

"They're beautiful, Ben," Liz attempted to smile.

"But not as beautiful as you," smiled Ben. Liz blushed and said nothing. She quickly looked away and decided to put the flowers in a vase. Ben followed her inside. He watched her meticulously arrange the flowers and said,

"So, this'll be our first real date?"

Liz jerked her head up and studied Ben for a moment. "Yeah, I guess so."

"I've waited for this for so long," said Ben, half-smiling. Seeing that Liz was uncomfortable, he added, "You know that there's no pressure, right Liz? This is just a friendly night out."

"Yeah, I know," she replied, still not looking at him, concentrating on the flowers, until Ben walked up to her and grabbed her head, forcing her to look at him.

"Liz, do you trust me?" he demanded with quiet intensity.

"Yes," she said confidently, looking straight into his eyes.

"Then, can you please just relax. We'll have a great time, if you'll just let yourself," said Ben. "It doesn't have to be this complicated."

"You're right," said Liz, with finality. "Let's go."

"That's more like it!" Ben kissed her lightly on her cheeks and grinned. He offered her his arm and led her to his car. They had come so far. He had never expected her to acquiesce to his pursuit, but this was a start. A definite new beginning.

Ben took Liz to a posh Italian restaurant where he had reserved them a table. Ben ordered for both of them. The food was delicious and the wine even better. At the beginning of the meal, Liz had been restrained, listening to Ben politely, but slowly she began to unwind. The change was visible to be and he rejoiced inwardly. By the time dessert was served, Liz was chatting animatedly.

"...And so, I told mom that there was no way on earth I was going to marry that slimy toad. I mean, it was totally out of the question. And she made such a big deal out of it because she was certain that I couldn't do anything worthwhile with my life. But I was very stubborn and I guess, my dad really supported me, too. If it hadn't been for him, I wouldn't have gone to college in New York."

"He's quite a remarkable man," commented Ben.

"Yeah, he really is," sighed Liz. "I think mom's very lucky to have found him. It's funny...although my folks seem like they don't get along, they really do love each other very much. My mom can be annoying sometimes, but dad couldn't survive without her. Love is so funny that way."

"Yes, it is," agreed Ben, hidden meaning in his eyes.

Liz looked at him and blushed. "Yeah, it's very strange."

"And can be very painful," added Ben.

At that moment, the orchestra began playing music and Liz said, "Let's dance!"

And so they danced. Ben held Liz very tightly, at the same time, not making her feel uncomfortable. They had perfect rhythm and harmony together, their steps complementing each other's. They chatted on trivial matters, laughing and having a good time. They literally danced the night away. It was quite late when finally the two decided to return home. Ben dove Liz to her house. She invited him in. Ben saw that the situation had many interesting possibilities and accepted the invitation. They walked slowly towards the house. Once inside, Liz poured some wine for both of them and sank onto the couch next to Ben.

"Oh, I'm so tired," sighed Liz.

"Yeah, but we had a fun time," said Ben.

"Yes, but that's not what I was talking about," replied Liz, stealing a glance at Ben.

"Then, what were you talking about?"

"I'm sick and I'm tired of feeling guilty whenever I have a good time. I'm not married anymore, and yet, I can't seem to forget. There's no hope for William and me, and yet, I can't seem to let go. I'm so sick of it!"

Ben looked at Liz. "Maybe you don't want to let go...?"

"Oh, but I do. That's the thing, I really do. I have to move on. I've been divorced for months now. This thing has gone on long enough."

"Maybe because you and William were so close...," suggested Ben delicately.

"But it's over. Why can't I just accept that. Sometimes I just disgust myself," Liz put down her glass and held her head between her hands. Ben out his arms around her gently, knowing not how to respond. He could only offer her his support. And suddenly, before he knew what was happening, Liz pressed closer to him and whispered,

"Please, Ben, help me forget..." With those words, she closed the gap between them and started to kiss him.

Meanwhile in New York

Charlotte lay on her couch, listening to soft music. She felt miserable, absolutely miserable. And worst of all, she couldn't share her feelings with anyone. It was so frustrating. Char was in love with William, and had been for a very long time. But he was Liz's husband, so she had long repressed her feelings for him. And then, the divorce happened, and she still couldn't say anything, partly because she didn't seriously believe that the two lovebirds would stay apart too long. But now, William had told her that his relationship with Liz was decidedly over. But Char still could not express her feelings because she'd always feel like she was betraying her best friend. It was an awkward situation to find oneself in. And it was for Char to decide what was more important to her: her loyalty to Liz or her love for William?

Life was playing a cruel joke on Char and she knew it. She had never been particularly attractive in high school and always felt at a loss when compared to her best friend. Liz had been the pretty one, the one who got all the cute guys. And poor Char had to be content with rejects like Billy "the toad" Collins. She had never felt the slightest interest in boys or so she told herself because she knew she didn't have much chance with any of them. But all that changed once she saw William...and fell in love. It had been at a café in New York City. Char had see him and fallen in love. What she hadn't known was that Liz had gotten to him before her. And right before Char's eyes, her best friend moved in on the one guy that she loved. Char couldn't blame Liz because she had never told Liz about her infatuation with William. She had accepted her fate and kept quiet. Until now.

Now Char felt she had to break the cycle of silence and assert herself. Life had been living hell for her. Wherever she went, there was William and not far behind was Liz. Soon after, they got married and things just deteriorated from bad to worse. And Char had born it with equanimity. Until now. Liz was gone and Char knew she would have to act soon if she didn't want to lose her sanity. William was finally free and Char convinced herself that Liz could have no reason to object since it was she would had broken the marriage. She had no right over William anymore. With these thoughts in her mind, Char lay on the couch until the sound of the bell aroused her. She opened the door and was shocked to see William standing.

"Can I come in?" he asked tentatively.

"Yes, of course," replied Char, surprised, letting him in. Now's my chance. "Make yourself at home."

Chapter 28

Posted on Friday, 10 December 1999

Liz felt Ben caress her back and suddenly realized what a big mistake she was making. She pushed Ben away. "No, stop..."

Ben looked at her in surprise wondering if it was something he did.

"I can't do this right now, Ben, please understand."

Ben studied her intently, "It's William, isn't it?"

"Yes," nodded Liz, her eyes dropping. "I didn't mean to lead you on, but we'd be making a big mistake, Ben...we'd regret it later, I'm sure of it."

Ben knew that no matter what he wouldn't regret it, but he pressed her no more. "You're right. I think I'd better get going."

"Okay," said Liz as she walked him to the door. "Goodnight Ben and thanks for the lovely evening. I really enjoyed myself."

"I enjoyed it too." While it lasted... "Good night, Liz."

Liz watched Ben drive away and slowly walked back inside. She was still slightly dazed from the recent experience. What would have happened had she not pulled back when she had? Liz shuddered to even think of it. What had she been thinking, anyway? There was no easy way to forget William, if that was what she really wanted. Sleeping with Ben would not solve any of her problems, rather it would only multiply them. Liz could not believe how dangerously close to ruin she had come. How could she have let herself be swept away by the moment? It was absolutely inexcusable, especially when she knew that she did not really love Ben. She was using him and that disgusted her. With those thoughts in mind, Liz went up to her room.

As Liz changed into her nightgown her eyes fell on the towel that William had briefly used. On impulse, she picked it up and held it for a few moments. It had a soft, lingering, unmistakably masculine smell, something like a cologne or a body wash. Liz rubbed her cheeks on the towel. William had touched this towel. It had been close to his body the way she wanted to be. Liz stood there for some minutes before she dropped the towel. Shaking her head, she got into bed. Then, as a nightly ritual, she carefully extracted William's letter from her drawer and re-read for the umpteenth time. After a quick, silent prayer, she lay down and fell into a fitful sleep.

Meanwhile, in New York

"I'm surprised to see you, William," commented Char as she handed him a glass of wine, which he accepted gratefully.

"I'm sorry for coming without calling first, but I really needed some company," replied William with sort of a half semi-smile.

"What happened to that friend of yours...Amber, I believe...?" asked Char.

"Well, she's out of town and besides, she doesn't know me well enough. So I had to come to you. I hope you don't mind...?"

"Oh, no." Not at all.

William sipped the wine and stared off into space, while Char contented herself by simply observing him. His dark, curly hair, his deep brown eyes, his small smile; every aspect of William Darcy was endearing and brought together spelled trouble...for Char's heart, that is. She herself thought that her admiration of him was rather visible and was surprised that she'd been able to conceal it for so long. Through the years, William had grown to depend on Char as a friend and confidante, asking her for advice regarding Liz's anniversary presents and such. Char was happy to help him in any way that she could, though she did so with a pang, whenever Liz was involved. But as Char watched William, all her repressed feelings surfaced and she decided that she could take it no more. She was about to say something when William said,

"I can't believe she's doing this..."

Char didn't have to ask who 'she' was. "You talked to Liz?"

"No, not since I came back from DC," answered William. "But she thinks so lowly of me...it broke my heart just to see her when I knew she hated me so much. How could I let that happen to us? What went wrong? You saw us together, Char, you tell me...what did I do wrong?"

Char swallowed uncomfortably, then said, "You didn't do anything wrong, William...sometimes, things just don't turn out the way you want them too. Maybe it was simply not meant to be?"

"Oh, but it was meant to be, it is meant to be. There can never be anyone else for me, Char, never. I just love Liz too much. Even if she re-marries, I won't be able to see anyone else...no one can fill her shoes."

Char held back the tears that stung her eyes. "Well, then, you'd be a fool to let her go away so easily."

"I tried, Char, I really did...but she hates me. There's nothing I can do."

"I don't know what to say, William," replied Char. "Maybe you oughta give he some time and space. I'm sure she doesn't hate you, maybe it's just a phase. If there are two people who are meant to be together, it's you guys."

"You think?" asked William, doubtful.

"I'm sure."

"Then, is shouldn't lose hope?"

"No, at least, not yet," said Char.

"But what about Ben," said William. "He's after Liz, and I even told him to take care of her...what if...?"

"No, she doesn't love him," reassured Char. "Believe me, she doesn't. He was in Iowa with us, and she really disliked him...she might be friends with him now, but no more."

Those words seemed to put William at ease, well, for the meantime at least. He stayed and chatted with Char for another 15 minutes before rising to take his leave. When he was at the door, he looked at Char, smiled and said,

"I love you, Char. Thanks for being such a great friend. I don't know what I'd have done without you."

"I love you, too," she barely whispered. More than you can ever know...I'd have been much better off without you. Char watched him leave and knew that she would never be able to reveal what was in her heart. Perhaps it was better that way. She knew that she had no chance. William belonged to Liz and Liz alone. Char knew that she'd have to bury her feelings forever because, some things were just not meant to be.

The next morning; Washington DC

"They're waiting for you in the conference room, Ms. Bennett," Mrs. Davidson informed Liz.

"Thank you," said Liz and with a deep breath, proceeded to the conference room. She hadn't seen Ben all morning and did not particularly look forward to it. She was embarrassed of the incident from the night before and hoped Ben did not mention it. She calmed her nerves and entered the room, which was occupied by Ben and Rick.

"Morning Liz!" greeted Rick.

"Morning Rick, Ben," smiled Liz.

Ben only nodded in acknowledgement and Liz took a seat. For the next hour, they discussed the gallery's budget, current sales, exhibits and such. After all these things were discussed, Rick looked at Liz for a few moments, then said,

"I talked to William last night."

Liz's ears perked up and she said, "Really?"

"Yeah."

"And...?" she prompted him.

"He's doing okay," replied Rick. "He just wanted me to tell you 'hi'."

Liz took a deep breath and managed to say, "Tell him I said 'hi', too."

"Why don't you call him yourself?" asked Rick. "He'd love to hear from you."

"Nah," she replied. "I don't think it's such a good idea."

"Okay," shrugged Rick. I tried.

After Liz left them, Rick saw Ben stare after her thoughtfully. Feeling guilty, Rick said, "I know how you feel about her, Ben, but I'm trying to do what's best for her...she's not happy and neither is William. It's just hard to sit back and watch."

"Yeah," said Ben. "You should do what you can. She loves him and that will never change." I found that out the hard way.

Rick looked quizzically at Ben. "Are you okay?"

"Fine, just fine," lied Ben. I'll get over it. "So, what about the Richmond sale...?"

And the morning continued.

Meanwhile, in New York

Caroline strode into the office near noon and instantly demanded to know whether William was in. He was. So, she walked over and knocked on his door.

"Morning, William!"

"A little late, aren't you, Caroline?" said William, not bothering to look up.

"I had an appointment with my doctor," lied Caroline.

"I see," he said, not believing her for a second.

"And you've been working hard."

"All morning," replied William.

"You've been working so hard since you came back from DC, maybe you should take a break?" suggested Caroline, grinning at the thought of how she'd have him spend his break.

"No, thanks, I've got work to do," replied William shortly in a dismissive tone signaling that Caroline's presence was not welcome.

She quietly withdrew from his office and proceeded to her own, utterly frustrated. What would it take to get this man, she asked herself. God only knew, she'd tried it all. Nothing, absolutely nothing worked. Anyone else would have given up by now, but not Caroline. With every passing day her perseverance increased as she became more and more determined to marry William Darcy. It was her obsession and Caroline was prepared to go to dangerous lengths to fulfill her dreams. As Caroline poured herself some coffee, she thought of all that she'd done to try and win William. The highlight had been Hawaii and Caroline had honestly thought that it would work. Apparently not, because months had passed since that incident and she was still as far removed from William as ever. She recalled every detail of that eventful night as if it were yesterday.

Flashback; Hawaii

"...and she made such a fuss about it...I know I messed up, I shouldn't have missed her birthday, but I couldn't just throw away millions of dollars...if she'd only understand." William rambled on, while motioning the bartender to fill up his glass yet again. He flashed a smile at Caroline who was seated next to him.

"So, you and Elisa have problems?" asked Caroline.

"No, I wouldn't exactly call it problem...a little misunderstanding, really...I guess, I'll make it up to her when I get back."

Caroline smiled slightly and said, "I'm sure you will."

William drank another whiskey before asking the bartender for some vodka. He smiled at Caroline and she nodded encouragingly. Getting him drunk was the key to her plan. So, she instructed the bartender to give the gentleman some more to drink since he was not coordinated enough to enunciate.

"I don't really see what she's complaining about," began Caroline. "You're a very good husband."

"I am, aren't I?" slurred William.

"Yep."

"I'm the best!"

"Of course!"

"She's lucky!"

"She's very lucky," smiled Caroline.

"Yeah!!!"

And suddenly, William fell face forward onto the counter. The bartender looked at him and shrugged. Caroline paid him for the drinks and asked one of the waiters to help William to his room. She followed him with a sinister smile. So far, so good. Her plan was working perfectly.

The next morning

William stirred and opened his eyes. His head was pounding and every inch of his body felt sore. He had never felt so awful in a long time. He felt a source of warmth next to him and forgetting where he was, he muttered, "Lizzy," and snuggled closer until he saw whom it actually was.

"Caroline!!!" he exclaimed and pushed her away. She looked at him and smiled. William discovered, with shock, that she was quite nude under the sheets and cried out, "What are you doing here?!"

"Why, William, don't you remember?"

"Remember what?" demanded William suspiciously.

"Last night," answered Caroline smilingly.

"Nothing happened last night," said William.

Oh, you don't know how right you are! "But it did, William. It was wonderful...we were wonderful. I have proof too." She exposed some love bites near her neck and smiled again.

"But, I can't...I mean, I didn't...I mean...oh god!" The full impact of the incident hit him. "If Liz ever finds out, she'll kill me. Caroline, please go and get dressed...we'll talk later."

"What's to say, William...just tell me right now," said Caroline sweetly.

"Caroline, I didn't mean for this to happen..."

"Sure you did. You wanted it as much as I did...we both wanted it."

"NO!" exclaimed William. "I'm a happily married man, and I don't intend to let anything spoil that, even this. I'm sorry for what happened. I didn't plan it...it was a mistake. I'm sorry."

Just then, there a knock on the door and it opened.

"William!!!" came a voice.

"Oh my god, Elizabeth!" gasped William.

Liz walked in and stopped in shock. She looked at William, then at Caroline, then at William again. She stared at William for a long time, the tears flowing.

"Why?!" she finally managed to say.

"Liz, I can explain..." William started to say, but it was too late. She had turned on her heels and left. Caroline watched the scene with smug satisfaction. Her plan was complete.

If William ever finds out the truth, he'll kill me... thought Caroline. She smiled, shook her head and slowly walked to her office.

Chapter 29

Posted on Wednesday, 15 December 1999

2 months later

Liz purchased last of her Christmas gifts with relief. She headed home, looking forward to dinner at Jane's since Charlotte was coming to visit them from New York. The downside would be the unwelcome presence of her sister Lydia, who went to school at George Washington University and preferred not to fly to Iowa for the holidays. Liz really looked forward to seeing her best friend again. They had attempted to keep in touch, but with their busy schedules, it had not been possible. Liz also secretly hoped to glean some information about William since she knew that Char probably saw him at a regular basis.

When Liz arrived at Jane's house, Lydia and Char were already there. Liz embraced her friend and said, "It's been too long, Char."

"Yes, it has," smiled Char, truly happy to see her friend again.

"Hello, Lydia," Liz greeted her indifferent sister.

"Hey Liz," replied Lydia. "Do you think I gained weight? Jane said I didn't, but I think I did. It's all that ice cream I keep eating. I can't put on any more, or I won't fit in that little red dress I have. Oh! How am I ever going to get into any clubs without that dress? You know what this means...I'll have to starve myself again. I don't really want to, but then, I like going to clubs too, so maybe I will starve. So, no dinner for me, Jane, thank you."

This was all said in one breath, causing the others to collectively roll their eyes. As soon as Lydia disappeared inside the house, Liz walked Char to the living room and sat down beside her, holding her hand.

"So, how have you been, Char?"

"Alright, I guess," sighed Char.

"You guess?!" exclaimed Liz. "Don't you know?"

"Well, I'm very busy at work and stuff and since you left, I don't have anyone to complain to," smiled Char. "But otherwise I'm fine. And you?"

"I'm doing good," said Liz, but her eyes spoke otherwise. Char noticed the slight hesitation, the slight question in Liz's voice and instantly knew that Liz wasn't "good"; she couldn't be, not with the soulful expression in her eyes. And Char could divine the reason behind that expression although Liz might not accept it. With a sigh, Char unwillingly said,

"I think you're making a big mistake, Liz..."

"What do you mean?"

"You know what I mean," replied Char. "I never believed for a second that you would actually go through with this. It's insane. You're being stubborn."

"I don't know what you're talking about," muttered Liz unconvincingly.

"Liz!" said Char, exasperated. "You must quit moping around and face the truth. You love him. That's it. You love him and he loves you. Why, in the world, you're willing to throw that away, I can't imagine. You have what few people have, and that is someone who returns your love. Believe me, it's not so easy." At this point, Char paused to collect her emotions, then continued. "Listen, I can't make your decisions for you, but I can give you some advice, and my advice is don't do this. I see him everyday and I can literally see his sadness. And I come down here and I can see your sorrow. This situation is insane. It's the season of love and forgiveness, so why can't you just forgive him for the past?"

"It's not that easy, Char," replied Liz, quietly.

"Why not?"

"It's just not," said Liz. "You wouldn't understand..."

"Oh, but I do understand," Char's expression softened. "I've known you since kindergarten and I really know you. And I know that you can't forgive people who hurt you very easily and I know that William hurt you. I also know that you can be very stubborn, but Lizzy, this is not a game, this is your life and you can't just gamble it away like this. If you truly love him, and I think you do, then you'll find a way to forgive him and go back to the way you were."

"I wish I could, Char," said Liz, with tears springing in her eyes. "But I can't..."

Char sighed and embraced her friend, unwilling to press her any further. She could do no more for she had tried her best. It was very difficult for her to plea for something that could only hurt her, but being the unselfish person that she was, Char was determined to get her best friend back together with the love of her life. It would be difficult and painful, but Char felt that she would derive her own happiness from the happiness of Liz and William for she knew that she herself would find no solace. There could be no one after William.

Jane had prepared an elaborate meal to accommodate the new arrivals as well as another guest, Ben. It was rather dark when Ben arrived at the door with a bottle of wine for Jane, which she accepted graciously. As soon as Ben entered the living room, his eyes fell on Liz, who was seated on the couch. She was a vision of loveliness with her soft, brown hair tumbling over her shoulders and framing her pale face. The light illuminated her face with a gentle light and her eyes sparkled with the intensity of a thousand candles. She looked up at hearing his footsteps and her face lit up.

"Oh, hi Ben!" she smiled at him and Ben's heart skipped a beat.

"Hey Liz," he said ruefully, knowing that the smile promised nothing but friendship. He had learned his lesson and for the past 2 months had tried to distance himself from Liz, but all in vain. He could not be in the same room with her without thinking of what it'd be like to hold her and kiss her and make her his to cherish and keep. Ben knew the dangerous game he was playing by opening his heart to someone who couldn't love him, but it was not something for him to control. Love worked in many mysterious, inexplicable ways and it was not for him to question why.

Lost in those thoughts, Ben hardly noticed Char sitting next to Liz and was shaken out of his reverie when she tapped his shoulders. "Not even a smile for me, Benjamin?" she said laughingly using his full name in jest.

Ben blushed and kissed Char on her cheeks. "I'm sorry Char. Just got a little distracted."

"Uh-huh," smiled Char, glancing surreptitiously at Liz. "Long time, no see."

"Yeah, how've you been? You look great."

"I'm doing fine, and you?"

"Same old, same old," replied Ben with such a love-stricken, Romeo-esque look at Liz that Char smiled at their irony of their being in such similar situations.

At the moment, Jane came in to announce that dinner was served and they all followed her in silence. Dinner came to be a very interesting affair. There was plenty of lively conversation interrupted by the occasional stupid comment from Lydia. Liz contributed her own part but spent a fair amount of time in observing her best friend and Ben. They were chatting and laughing together in almost a flirting kind of fashion. Their rapport was instant and they seemed to genuinely enjoy each other's company. Except for an occasional glance at Liz, Ben hardly talked to her, rather satisfying himself in reliving the memories of Iowa with Char.

"...and do you remember the day you asked why we loved corn so much in Iowa?" asked Char. "It was so funny because then, Mrs. Bennett began explaining the history of corn in Iowa and I can still see the expression on your face. I am convinced that it was simply a rhetorical question, but you were in for a lecture!"

And so the laughter continued and an idea began to form in Liz's mind. She could not help but imagine what a cute couple Ben and Char would make. They were perfect for each other with their quick, witty sense of humor and love for the outdoors. Liz could easily imagine them falling for each other, given the right circumstances. And living hundreds of miles away wasn't exactly the right circumstance. Liz, for one, was not big on long distance relationships and so, she shot down the idea as quickly as she contemplated it.

After dinner, they all gathered near Jane's huge, cheery fireplace. Ben was seated next to Char, but his eyes gazed thoughtfully at Liz, who, oblivious of his attention, talked to her sister, Lydia.

"But who gave you the permission to go to Brighton?' asked Liz, referring to a popular vacation spot in Mexico.

"I don't need permission!" exclaimed Lydia loudly. "I'm 18, ok."

"But don't you think mom and dad might not like you wasting your money like that?"

"It's my money," said Lydia emphatically. "I don't care what they think."

Liz sighed and gave up trying to reason with her sister. She looked at Jane for help who simply shrugged knowing that they could not change Lydia's mind. Liz knew that Lydia was not mature enough to be left all alone in a foreign country, but there was nothing she could do, really. She toyed with the idea of calling her dad, but knew that it would do no good. Her parents had given up on Lydia long ago and besides, none of their intervention would stop Lydia. She was unusually headstrong and self-willed and would never listen to any good advice, especially if it came from her parents.

Liz shook her head gently and then, her eyes fell on Ben, who was looking at her strangely. "What?" she asked softly.

"When are you leaving?" he asked.

"What? Where's she going?" Char chimed in.

Liz said, "I'm going away for a few days. I just need to get away," she glanced at Char, then continued. "I'm leaving tomorrow morning, Ben. If anyone needs to contact me, I'll leave my number with Jane."

Ben stared at her for a few moments, then said, "Hope you have a good time, Liz."

"Thanks, Ben," she said and locked eyes with him, hoping he'd be able to discern how sorry she was for hurting him for she knew that she had. But Liz knew not how to remedy the situation since it was not for her to dictate his heart. Liz, however, sincerely wished that there was some way she could heal the wound that had been caused by her. She was certain that he'd learn to love someone else, but till he did, she felt as if she owed him something, something intangible, like a few words of love.

At the close of the evening, Liz rose to take her leave so that she could go home and pack for her upcoming trip. She embraced her friend, Char and promised to write to her. She hugged Jane and said goodbye to Lydia. When she came to Ben, she looked at him tentatively as if waiting for a signal. He looked at her with a stony expression in his eyes, but then he smiled and opened his arms. Liz embraced him, resting her head on his chest. She looked up and said,

"Take care of yourself, Ben."

"I will. And you?"

"Oh, I'll be fine."

"If you need anything, anything at all, just call me," he said.

"Thanks," she replied and kissed him on his cheeks. "Goodbye."

"Have a safe trip."

The cold, snow-laden December day appeared to be dark and dismal. Interstate I-95 was packed with pre-Christmas travelers and the usual flow of traffic was hindered. Liz gently tapped the steering as she slowly swayed to the holiday music on her radio. Despite the rather desolate conditions, Liz's spirits were very high. Perhaps it was the cheer of the holiday season or maybe the promise of things to come, but Liz felt unusually optimistic and cheerful. Maybe it also had something to do with her destination, at which she arrived before nightfall.

Lambton, Vermont was a quiet unassuming town that was of no consequence to anyone except those who were lucky enough to live in it. During the summers, the weather in the town was fantastic; just the correct mixture of sun and heat, and during the winters, it became a haven for skiers and lovers of other winter sports. It was a small town which exuded a sense of companionship and warmth, welcoming all its visitors. However, none of these things were as important to Liz as the fact that this was the town where she'd come to for her honeymoon and this was where she had planned to come to re-confirm her wedding vows had things gone as she wished.

But things hadn't gone as she wished, and she was visiting Lambton alone. It still held a very special place in Liz's heart as the town where she had discovered how much she really loved William. It had so many familiar spots that they had visited together -- the little café, the small ski lodge, and the quaint little Thai restaurant. Each place was connected with a thousand memories of the good times, which were as painful as they were pleasing. Both William and Liz had fallen in love with this place and had vowed to come back to it together another Christmas. That, unfortunately, had never come to pass, because fate had intervened.

Liz drove up to a little inn named the Lambton Inn and went inside. This was where they had stayed the last time. Liz wondered if it was still owned by the same, sweet old lady. What was her name...Mrs. Reynolds?"

Liz waited at the first desk and sure enough, Mrs. Reynolds came to attend to her. At first she didn't recognize Liz, but when she did, she exclaimed, "Oh my! It's Miss Lizzy! How nice to see you again. How have you been?"

"Just fine, Mrs. Reynolds, and how are you?"

"Same old, same old, my dear. My arthritis is getting bad, but other than that, I am doing great."

"Well," began Liz after a pause. "I am divorced now..."

"Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that," said Mrs. Reynolds with genuine warmth, although she didn't sound surprised. "I had hoped it would last. You two made such a cute couple."

"It was good while it lasted," said Liz with a slight shrug. "I'm here for a couple of days. Do you have a room?"

"For you, my dear, always!" smiled Mrs. Reynolds and led Liz to a large, comfortable room. "If you need anything, call me, okay?"

"Okay, thanks, Mrs. Reynolds," said Liz.

Mrs. Reynolds smiled, nodded, then left the room wondering whether she was doing the right thing. Should I tell her?

Liz unpacked, took a long, hot bath and changed into fresh clothes. It was rather dark out, but she was not ready to turn in, yet. She had other plans. She put on her warm coat and gloves and headed outside. After a walk of about 5 minutes, she stopped in front of a beautiful church. Without any hesitation, she entered it. Once inside, Liz walked steadily up to the altar, then stopped. After a few moments of just standing there, she kneeled down and said a silent prayer. She got up again and closed her eyes, mentally trying to picture how different it could have been. She would have come here with William. They had decided to re-confirm their wedding vows at this church. It would have been such a beautiful moment. But William wasn't here, Liz reminded herself. But I am here. With a little hesitation, she closed her eyes again, picturing William in front of her and mentally said: I Elizabeth, take thee, William, to be my lawfully wedded husband to cherish and to keep, for better or for worse, in sickness and in health... She paused, then finished it, till death do us apart

Liz sighed inwardly, opened her eyes and then, let out a little scream at seeing the figure in front of her.

"William?!!"

Chapter 30

Posted on Thursday, 16 December 1999

Liz stared in shock at the sight in front of her. Could it be real or was it but another figment of her imagination? Was it really him? But how could it be? She had only imagined sharing quiet moments at the church with him, but how could it come to pass so? Was her mind playing cruel tricks on her again or had the heavens given her another chance? At length, Liz managed to utter, "Um...hi?"

William, who seemed to be in equal shock, returned with, "Hi."

Then, there was silence. There was so much Liz wanted to say and do. She wanted to tell him how much she regretted having hurt him and beg him to forgive her. She wanted to lose herself in his tender embrace so that she could make him understand how her feelings were different and how her love had never changed. She wanted to confess her undying devotion to him that would only cease with her life. But she could not move or utter a word, but simply contented herself with looking at his face and staring into his eyes. His face appeared strained as if he were carrying a great burden of late, and in a sickening moment, Liz realized that it might be because of her. He appeared to be equally shocked to see her and whether it was a pleasant surprise remained to be determined.

"Liz," he finally said. "I, ah..., I didn't expect to see you...here," he said awkwardly. "When did you arrive?"

"This evening," replied Liz, shortly.

"And where are you staying?" he inquired.

"At the Inn," answered Liz, stealing a glance at him. He looked surprised and a flicker of pain flashed through his eyes. All the memories that had plagued her must have struck him.

"Oh, and how are you?" he asked, gently.

"Pretty good."

"And your family, Jane, and everyone."

"They're all doing great," answered Liz, a trifle surprised at his persistence in carrying on the conversation. She would have thought that he'd be dying to leave her presence. Apparently not.

"I just got here myself," William informed her.

"Oh, really?" she said, wondering whether Mrs. Reynolds knew about his arrival and if so, why she'd hidden it from her.

"And is Ben okay?" William asked shortly thereafter.

"Yes, they're all fine," said Liz, with a little smile.

William smiled in return and for a moment, they stood there in front of the altar, facing each other with only a priest missing. There was so much to be said, so much to be shared, but neither had the courage to say what was in their heart. If eyes could convey messages, there was an honest confession in Liz's eyes and a quiet acceptance in William's. After standing awkwardly for a few minutes, William suggested that he walk Liz to the Inn. She began to protest, but said nothing. They started towards the door, side by side, mirroring each other exactly.

William was quiet, not because he had nothing to say, but rather because he had too much to say. There was no way to begin expressing his feelings on seeing Liz again and at their church, too! Who could have imagined it possible. It was almost as if it were a stroke of luck. As they stepped outside, the bitter New England cold hit them and Liz instinctively moved closer to William, her arms almost touching his. William savored this briefest of contacts, wishing that he could put his arms around her and protect her from the harsh weather. But he couldn't. She was so near yet so far and he felt an invisible barrier of silence between them. In a desperate effort to overcome that barrier, he said,

"I was wondering if...well, there's someone who I'm sure would like to see you, if it's alright with you - my sister, Georgia."

Liz looked at him, then smiled slightly. "Of course I'd like to see her. It's been too long anyway."

"Yes, the last time you both have met was at last Thanksgiving."

"Yeah," uttered Liz, instantly transported back in time, relishing the past.

They were almost at the Inn door and Liz turned to William. "Do you want to come in?" she asked.

William hesitated, then said, "No, thanks, I'd better get going. Georgia will be waiting for me."

"Oh," was all that Liz could say. "Goodbye."

"Bye, Liz."

Liz watched him walk away and then, entered the Inn. She found Mrs. Reynolds in the kitchen and promptly approached her. "Did you know, Mrs. Reynolds?"

Mrs. Reynolds didn't need to ask what Liz was referring to. Handing Liz some cookies, she said, "Yes, dear, he came in to see me this morning."

"Why didn't you tell me?" asked Liz.

"I thought it'd be best if you found each other on your own," replied Mrs. Reynolds. "It's a small town. You couldn't not see each other forever."

"I still wish you had told me," said Liz sulkily, munching on the cookies.

"Why?" asked Mrs. Reynolds.

"So that I could have been...I don't know...better prepared...?"

"Better prepared for what?" pried Mrs. Reynolds and on receiving no answer, continued. "There's just one thing I want to say, listen to your heart. It never lies."

Liz looked at the old lady and sighed, "I'll try."

"That's the spirit," Mrs. Reynolds smiled warmly. "More cookies?"

The next morning

"This one or that one? Which do you think?"

"Oh, William! Just put something on, we're just going for breakfast!"

William sighed, smiled and went back to his room. Georgia Darcy smiled after her brother left the room. He was so hopelessly and madly in love that he oftentimes made a fool of himself and this morning was one of those occasions. They were going to visit Liz and he had spent half an hour in trying to pick the right clothes. Georgia had tried to tell him that Liz did not care about his clothes, but he wanted to appear his best. Georgia was glad, nonetheless, because it was a vast improvement over the past 2 months after he'd come back from DC. He had been such a mess, brooding for hours in a dark room. Frankly, Georgia had been concerned about his health and had suggested a trip to Lambton, Vermont. She knew the sentimental value that the town had for William and hoped that it would provide some alleviation to all of William's pains. Little did she know what was in store.

When William returned home after the walk to the church, quick observer Georgia noticed a visible change in his demeanor. He seemed to be in shock, and retired into his room. It took Georgia the better part of an hour to finally extract some information from him and when she did, she was as shocked as her brother. Who could have known that her little plan would work out so well? Who could be better to ease William's pains than the cause of those pains themselves. And, Georgia anticipated seeing Liz herself for she was the closest thing to a sister that Georgia had. All in all, she had high hopes that the morning's planned excursion would result in the ultimate reuniting of her family.

At length, William emerged dressed in a simple, business casual suit that Georgia heartily approved of. Without much further adieu, they departed for their destination, the Lambton Inn. Georgia watched her brother while they were in the car and she couldn't help but say, "It's going to be fine, William. Just relax."

He glanced at her briefly and said, "Am I that obvious?"

"Pretty much," answered Georgia. "I know you must be a little nervous, but just take it easy. It's only Liz."

"Take it easy?!" exclaimed William. "You don't know how much depends on this."

"I do know, Will," said Georgia softly. "Do you think I'm blind? But all I'm saying is that if you get too nervous, you'll become tongue-tied and that won't help you any, will it?"

"I guess not," said William ruefully.

"Then, relax, ok."

"Easy for you to say," muttered William under his breath.

They arrived at the Inn and went inside. Mrs. Reynolds welcomed them and informed them that Liz was out, but she'd be back soon. William and Georgia decided to wait at the main reception area. Georgia sat down while William took to nervous pacing. Georgia knew better than to ask him to stop. It was a good release for his nervous energy, anyway. A few minutes later, the front door opened and the lady in question, herself appeared. She saw them and approached the waiting area.

"I hope you've not be waiting long?" she said to William.

"No, not at all," replied William, as if he would have noticed had they been waiting for an hour. He could not help but stare at Liz appreciatively. She was dressed in her jogging clothes since she never missed running her 2 miles no matter what the weather. The exercise had given a radiant glow to her normally pale complexion and a few tendrils of her hair came loose from her efficient bun. She was sweating and slightly out of breath, but William could not have imagined a more beautiful sight. It reminded him of so many winter mornings when Liz would get up at an ungodly hour to jog. She would return to find William sleeping still and would wake him up in her own special way. There would always be a teasing tug-of-war with the blanket before they both ended up in a hot shower, together. So, how could William see her sweating and smell her familiar smell without being reminded of all those mornings and many more?

Georgia cleared her throat to break into William's reverie and he realized that he'd been staring. Georgia then advanced forward and hugged Liz. "Oh, Liz, I've missed you."

"And I've missed you, Georgia," smiled Liz. "How's school?"

"Great!" replied Georgia.

The two women chatted amicably for some minutes while William contented himself by just watching them. Then, Liz suggested that they have breakfast after she took a quick shower. At the mention of shower, William looked quickly at Liz. She locked eyes with him for a moment, then looked away, blushing. So, she hasn't forgotten either. thought William with satisfaction. He watched her leave to shower and thought ruefully. How I'd like to follow her... Liz reappeared within minutes, looking fresh. William followed her and Georgia to the breakfast room inhaling her scent and trying to place it. It was a pleasant, aromatic scent, perhaps of her body wash. Lavender or jasmine or something equally fragrant. There were just so many little things that William loved about her...her sweet smell, her damp hair, her eyes, her hair, her quick wit, her determination. What had begun as a purely physical attraction turned into something bigger and more meaningful, into a deep commitment, love and respect that nothing could alter, well, not in this lifetime, at least. His love for Liz transcended the mere physical; it was truly a union of the mind, body and soul.

Throughout breakfast, although, Liz paid much of her attention to Georgia, her mind was focussed on William. It was not possible to be with him and not think of him. He appeared much more calm and composed than she could claim to be. Her internal turmoil was hardly visible through her apparent outward calm. She seemed to be engaged in polite conversation with Georgia, but inwardly, tried in vain to make sense of her life and answer all the questions that inevitably posed themselves. Did he still love her? Perhaps so, but did he care enough to risk getting hurt again? Probably not. Did she love him? With all her heart, but what was she to do? Talk to him, ask him to take her back? But her pride wouldn't allow that. What, then, was the answer? It was unbearable to sit across the table from him, pretending nothing had changed because everything had changed. As Liz found herself looking into his eyes again, she at once, saw such a wave of pure, unadulterated love that all her fears dissolved. However, the next second his eyes turned to stone again. What was he thinking about as his eyes burned through her? She felt vulnerable under his gaze as if he could divine everything that passed her mind. And perhaps he could, because Liz was certain that her face was as transparent as his was not. And who knew what he saw there?

Georgia, on the other hand, knew exactly what she saw. She saw two people very deeply in love, fighting to hide their feelings which were quite apparent. Any observer could have seen that they were in love simply by the way they looked at each other constantly while pretending they didn't. Georgia knew that Liz was probably not listening to a word she said, but she didn't mind. It was not about her, it was about Liz and William. And just look at them. It's as if the world has ceased to exist for them and they're all alone. That's what they need to be. All alone. I'd better get out of here.

"Um...I think I'll go on," said Georgia, breaking the spell. "I haven't seen any of the sights."

"I'll come with you," said William, knowing how dangerous it would be to be alone with Liz in his current state of mind.

Georgia reluctantly accepted, but before leaving, she said, "Liz, will you have dinner with us tomorrow?"

Liz glanced at William, then said, "Yes, I'd love to."

"Great! I guess I'll see you then!" said Georgia. "Bye!"

"Bye!" said Liz as her visitors took their leave. She watched with pain as well as relief. Oh g-d, help me do the right thing...I need some guidance more than ever. What should I do?!

Meanwhile, in Brighton, Mexico

Lydia lay on the beach, enjoying the sun and the hot guys. This was what life was made of: sun, surf and cute guys. They all winked at her as they passed and she winked back. All in all, she was having a grand time. Then, all of a sudden, a lifeguard appeared and said, "Senora, I am sorry, but this is not a topless beach."

Lydia looked at him suggestively. "Why, don't you like what you see?"

The man looked uncomfortable as he said, "I am just doing my job. Please take this towel while you get some more appropriate clothing."

He handed her the towel and walked away. Lydia stared after him and said, "Party pooper!"

A handsome stranger who lay nearby, came over to Lydia, apparently having observed the exchange. He sat down next to Lydia and said, "I couldn't help but hear that. That man doesn't know what he's talking about. You wanna come with me to a real party?"

Lydia's ears perked at the mention of a 'party' and she smiled. "Of course! I'm Lydia Bennet."

"And I am George Wickham."

Chapter 31

Posted on Friday, 17 December 1999

As William and Georgia walked through the streets of Lambton, William could hardly contain himself. In just a short time, his entire world had changed, and for the better, too. He had seen Liz again and had good reason to believe that she did, in fact, love him. William had no other reason to believe it than what he saw in her eyes. He could not support his claim or substantiate it with any evidence. But his heart told him that he was correct. It wasn't simply the fact that she looked at him, but because of the way she looked at him. William almost felt like she was trying to convey something through her eyes, something that she had not the courage to say. William instinctively felt that she had forgiven him and had believed all that he had said in his letter. She had seemed a little drawn and quiet, but not violently opposed to him. Maybe he was being presumptuous in thinking that she still loved him, but his gut feeling on that matter was loud and clear. And William decided that he could not let the opportunity go by so easily.

Being in love was such a bundle of contradictions that William had not come to be accustomed to it yet. It was a wonderful, wonderful feeling that elevated him beyond any heights imaginable, but it was also a painful experience that caused much sorrow and anguish to the heart and soul. Love was a free spirited bird that had a will of its own, flying the vast, boundless skies, never giving a reason for its flight. Love was an inexplicable phenomena that few lucky people experienced and cherished forever. There were many persons in the world who believed themselves to be in love, but more often than not, it was simply lust or something equally frivolous.

But William was one of the few lucky ones to actually know what true love was. He knew what it felt like to love someone so passionately that his entire world revolved around her. He knew the thrill of waking up in her arms, holding her and cherishing her. He knew the pleasure of gazing at her lovely face and feeling more alive than he'd ever felt before. He also knew the dejection and pain of not being with her, knowing that she was miles away, perhaps with someone else. Yes, William truly knew what it was to be love and he was not prepared to throw it away without a fight.

William, therefore, resolved to go to Liz the very next morning and talk to her again. And suddenly, his world was not so gray anymore. With every step that he took, he felt alive and filled with a sense of joy and purpose. He could feel the beauty of the crisp, New England winter day and smell the smells of nature. He saw with eyes, but did not see what was there, instead, he saw what he wanted to be there. He saw his Elizabeth, his dearest, loveliest Elizabeth. She was smiling at him as if beckoning him to come to her. William smiled slowly as the vision vanished. There was suddenly some purpose in his life again. Elizabeth was his woman and he was not about to let her go so easily.

Liz wanted to revisit some of the town's old sights, but she feared that she might run into William again. It was no so much William that she feared as she did the feelings evoked when she saw him. She couldn't trust herself to react in a rational, controlled manner. She was afraid of letting herself and her emotions go. She was afraid of revealing too much of her heart and of getting hurt once again. Liz could not afford to take that chance. She had been hurt already and couldn't allow it to happen again. It would completely destroy her. If only she knew what he was feeling... If Liz could be assured that he did, in fact, care about her, Liz was willing to risk everything, so much did she trust him. But how could she believe that when he had barely spoken to her? Maybe he had not forgiven her for their last encounter when she had accused him so unjustly. Liz knew that he was not totally indifferent to her, but did he simply not care that much about her anymore? It was simply too confusing.

The next morning

Liz woke up facing the same daunting that had plagued her the day before. She was no closer to finding an answer to those questions, but she was determined not to let her fears hold her back anymore. She was in Lambton to renew her memories of the wonderful town and William or no William, she was going to do just that. With that firm determination, Liz stepped into the bathroom to take a long, relaxing bath. When she emerged, her head was much clearer, helping her to think straight and make the decision to visit the old sights again.

As Liz got ready, the phone suddenly rang, and curious, she picked it up. "Hello?"

"Lizzy?!" It was Jane.

"Jane, what's up?" asked Liz, pleasantly surprised to hear from her sister.

"Lizzy," Jane let out a little sob. "It's Lydia..."

"Oh my god, what happened?" Liz panicked, some very frightening images flashing through her mind.

"She's missing," sobbed Jane.

"Missing?! What do you mean she's missing? She's in Brighton."

"No, she's not, Liz," answered Jane. "I got a call and have been trying to reach you."

"I was in the shower, but what happened?" Liz was anxious.

"She...she was arrested at the border for illegal possession of drugs," said Jane. "She was with another man, someone named George Wickham, I think, but she escaped. Liz, a police officer is dead. They think Lydia did it while trying to run away."

Oh my god "And where is she, do they have any idea?"

"They think she's in Texas," replied Jane. "But she could be anywhere. Oh, Liz, what are we going to do?"

"Did you call dad?" asked Jane. "Yes, he's flying into DC tomorrow. But I wanted to ask you a favor, can you come back, too? I'll understand if you don't want to..."

"No, no, of course, I'll be there by night," said Liz, dazed. "Bye Jane...hang in there."

Liz hung up, stood motionless for a few moments, then burst into tears. Stupid, stupid, stupid Lydia. How could she get involved in something like that? Stupid girl. And George Wickham?! How did he get to Lydia, in the first place? Was it some sort of revenge against William? Did he hope to avenge himself by hurting her family? Liz did not know what he wanted with Lydia, but it must have been Lydia's own fault in engaging in such behavior. It suddenly struck Liz that time was a-wasting and she should be leaving for DC. She rushed towards the door to go and tell Mrs. Reynolds that she was leaving. No sooner than Liz had reached the door than it opened and William himself appeared. On seeing her tear-streaked face, he exclaimed,

"Good god, what's wrong, Liz?!"

Liz looked at him with teary eyes and just thinking of the awful truth, burst into tears again. William could not see her like that and led her to a chair. He made her sit down and pulled up a chair next to her. "What's wrong? Are you sick? What? Please, talk to me, Liz."

"No, I'm fine, it's just...I just got a call from Jane with the most awful news," Liz paused, then continued. "My youngest sister, Lydia was arrested while trying to cross the Mexico border for possession of drugs. She escaped while killing an officer. William, George Wickham was with her." William stiffened and got up. Liz said helplessly. "She's always been so wild, but I never thought it would come to this. And to think that I could have stopped her. I, who knew what kind of person Lydia is. I should never have let her go off by herself. I should have called home or something. Now she is lost forever. Even if they do find her, her life is ruined. But she is not all bad...it must have been Wickham's influence. If only I could helped her... but it's pointless now...there is nothing I can do."

Liz hung her head as William paced and said, "I am so, so sorry. This is something that should not happen to anyone...but what's being done to try and find her?"

"My dad is flying into DC tomorrow and I am leaving now," replied Liz, looking up at him earnestly. "And I imagine that the entire police force of Texas is looking for them as well. But it's useless...we can do nothing to save her...she's a fugitive."

William watched her struggle to keep her composure and fail. She erupted into tiny sobs again and William was powerless to help her. He wanted to take her in arms and kiss those tears away, but he contented himself by laying a comforting hand on her shoulders. She calmed visibly and tilted her head to rest on his hands. William savored the moment, knowing that he had to find a way to help Liz. He could not bear to watch her blame herself for her sister's follies. The wheels of his mind already started to rotate in search of some way to find Lydia and Wickham. He was so lost in thought that he was silent for several minutes. Then, recollecting himself, he gathered his coat and said,

"I'm afraid that you've been wanting me to leave," he said gravely, searching her eyes for some comfort or the hint of a promise. "Good luck, Liz." Then, with one serious, parting glance, he left.

Liz stared after him certain that any hopes she might have of reestablishing her relationship with William were gone. He despised her and her family, now more than ever as was evident by his contemptuous silence. He'd been kind to her, to be sure, but that was only for the sake of what had been rather than what could be. Liz had absolutely no expectations from him, not anymore, she had no right to because he'd made himself very clear. She cried inwardly at the loss of her one true love and the death of all her hopes and dreams, forever. She dried her tears and busied herself in packing with only one thought in mind: I will never see him again.

Chapter 32

Posted on Thursday, 23 December 1999

On the long drive back to DC, Liz had ample time to contemplate the sudden turn of events. While the situation was very unfortunate for Lydia, the implications it held for Liz were overwhelming. During her short stay at Lambton, Liz had felt closer to William than she ever had in recent times. It had appeared that they might even come to an understanding, however, in light of the recent developments, Liz knew that any hopes she might have held would come to naught. William would never suffer to connect himself with a family so tainted by controversy. Liz cried inwardly for all that she'd lost, but it was her own fault for having even thought that there was a possibility that her dreams of William might come to become reality. Liz sighed and shook her head, reprimanding herself for being so selfish when her sister was undergoing such a terrible ordeal. There were more important things than her heart at stake, it was a question of Lydia's life and future.

Liz arrived at DC and instantly headed towards Jane's house where, she assumed, everyone would be gathered. Her assumptions were proven correct as she found her father and Ben there. Liz hugged her sister before kissing her dad on his forehead. She glanced grimly at Ben before saying,

"So, what's new?"

"We haven't heard anything," Jane shook her head.

"How's mom holding up?" asked Liz.

Mr. Bennett half-smiled as he said, "When I left, she was looking all over for those awful smelling salts she uses. But I'm sure she's gotten over it by now."

Liz attempted a feeble smile. "So, what are we going to do?"

"What can we do?" asked Jane. "Nothing."

"I'm sure they'll find her soon," offered Ben.

"I'm sure they will," sighed Liz. "And that's the scary part. How did she even get involved in this mess?"

"It's all my fault," said Mr. Bennett. "I shouldn't have let her become this wild and out of control. I shouldn't have let her go to college all the way here."

"You can't change how she is dad," Liz said. "I don't think anything you could have done would change the way Lydia is. You tried to do the right thing and unfortunately, it didn't work out, but you're not to blame."

Mr. Bennett shook his head, then looked lovingly at his daughters. "I guess there isn't much for me to do. I'll probably fly back to Iowa in a few days. Maybe we'll hear from Lydia by then?" They all nodded in agreement, but in their hearts, they did not truly believe.

Later that night

The starry night was cool and gorgeous beckoning all to come and be a part of the glories of nature. Liz sat on the front porch staring at the stars and contemplating her life and the ironic jokes fate played on her. She was so lost in her own little world that she did not see Ben come in behind her and it was not until he was seated on the steps, besides her, that she became aware of his presence. She looked at him, then, looked away. They shared a few moments of companionable silence before Liz said,

"Have you ever tried to count the stars in the sky?"

"No," he answered. "Why, have you?"

"Yes, many times," Liz replied. "They are like little, tiny gems in this velvety blanket. I believe there's great meaning in these stars. There is always some special star looking at us and guiding us."

"I haven't found my special star..." Ben said softly.

"Maybe you haven't looked hard enough," answered Liz, glancing at him. She paused briefly, then said, "William was there."

"Where? Lambton?" Ben seemed surprised.

"Yeah," she said. "It's really, really over between us now."

"Why, because of Lydia?" Ben guessed.

"Yeah...and other things as well," Liz stopped, then looked at Ben. "I'm sorry, I don't even know why I'm telling you this. I'm sure you're not interested." She looked at him earnestly, then dropped her gaze.

He said, "Go on, I'm listening. Whatever you want to say..."

She sighed, then said, "Oh, I don't know...I just thought, well, maybe I had some hope that William and I...well, you know...but it's finally over. I guess I'm relieved in a way. At least, now I can get on with my life. I don't have to keep looking back and wonder if I did the right thing. I won't have to feel guilty all the time. But...but, I can't help feeling that a part of me is dying...one chapter of my life is over and I feel sad as well as happy. Oh, I'm completely boring you!"

"No, no, not at all," Ben smiled graciously. "I don't know what to say. I can't really pretend to give you any advice, but all I can say is that it'll be alright. It'll work out, don't as me how, but it always does."

Liz smiled and on impulse, lay her head on his shoulders. "You're such a sweetie, Ben. Please don't ever change."

"I won't," Ben whispered, wrapping his arm around her. For you, anything. And so, they sat close, saying nothing, sharing a quiet moment, staring off in the distance, lost in their own thoughts.

Meanwhile, somewhere in New York City

The filth of the neighborhood would have been enough to disgust and discourage even the most determined visitors, but William had no room for such petty considerations. He was in pursuit of a criminal and he intended to succeed, no matter what the cost. He had parked his car in a relatively safe area before continuing on foot. His chase would take him to the less desirable facets of the city, but it had to be done, if he wanted to help Liz. And he so desperately wanted to help her, not because he wished to hold her in his gratitude, no he hoped she'd never discover his role in the mess, but he did want to ease her suffering and bring Wickham to justice. He recalled with pain her tear-stained face and quiet sobs, it had been obvious that she blamed herself, but if anyone, he was to blame for not having Wickham put away in a safe penitentiary long time ago.

William walked for about quarter of an hour before he stood in front of a dilapidated, old apartment building. Graffiti decorated the building and the surrounding walls. William took in a deep breath before proceeding inside, knowing that the confrontation might prove ugly. He slowly climbed the stairs, so as not to reveal his presence. When he was finally on the third floor, he mentally steeled himself and knocked on an apartment door. Within seconds, the door flew open and a middle-aged woman appeared. At first, she did not recognize him, but then, her eyes flew open and beads of sweat formed on her forehead. She attempted to shut the door, but William was already half-in. He smiled, nay sneered at her and said,

"Mrs. Younge, we meet again."

"You can't come in here like this, I c-can call the cops," she threatened, backing up.

William smiled again, "Go ahead, be my guest. You'll only make my job easier."

"What do you mean?" Doubt crept into her voice.

"Oh, I think you know what I mean," answered William, slowly inching forward. "I know all about your...ahem...inventive means of earning a living...what is it now? Drugs?"

The terror was now visible in her eyes. "Don't call the cops! Please!"

"I was not the one who wanted to call the cops, remember?" A note of triumph was evident in William's voice.

"What do you want?" asked Mrs. Younge

"Just information," said William. "about your old friend, George Wickham."

"I can't help you, I haven't heard from him in months. God knows what he's up to."

"Oh, I think you know a lot," said William.

"No, I don't," she insisted. "Look, if I knew where he was, I'd tell you, but I don't."

"You're making it very difficult for me," said William smoothly. "I don't want to turn you in...well, maybe I do, but I won't do it unless you make me do it. It's your call."

"I don't-"she began to say but when William cut her off.

"Where is Wickham?!"

"I don't know."

"Where is he?!!" William said again, his voice higher.

"I told you I don't know," she looked at him with a pleading face.

"Okay, if that's the way you want..." he reached into his pocket for his cell phone.

"No wait! Don't!" she sobbed. "I can't tell you...he, he'd kill me."

William replaced the phone. "No, he'll be put away in jail. Just tell me and I promise he won't hurt you."

Mrs. Younge did not loom convinced, but seeing the determination in his eyes, she said, "Dallas, Texas. He's going to try and make a run for it soon, but he's in Dallas right now."

"Dallas is a big city," William prodded.

Mrs. Younge sighed and gave him an address. He took the piece of paper and smiled, "See that wasn't so hard. Thanks for your cooperation." He was heading out when she called out,

"You won't call the cops?"

"No, I promise," said William and left.

2 days later; Washington DC

"Ben!! Ben!!! Hey, where are you?!" Liz yelled as she entered his office.

"Here I am," Ben emerged from the adjoining room. "What's up?"

"They found Lydia!" she exclaimed.

"How? Where?"

"I just got a call from Dallas. They found her and she's coming home!!"

"Wow...what about...?"

"The charges? They were dropped," Liz sat down on a chair, dizzy from excitement. "Apparently Lydia was an innocent victim...George Wickham was arrested for possession of drugs and murder of a cop. Gosh, I can't believe this. She's coming back. Wait till I tell dad and Jane. They'll be so relieved."

"I'm so happy for you, Liz," smiled Ben. "I knew it was going to work out."

"Thanks Ben, you've been such a great help these past few days. I'll go, give Jane a call." She approached Ben, gave him a quick kiss and almost ran out of the office. As she was leaving, Rick appeared and she said, "Hi Rick! Bye Rick!"

Rick watched her leave, then looked at Ben quizzically. "What happened?"

"They found her sister, Lydia," Ben informed him.

Rick tried to appear surprised. "Oh really?" He had known it for some hours because William had called. He wanted to tell Liz straight away, but William made him promise he wouldn't disclose William's involvement in the matter. Rick had resisted at first, but eventually gave in. He was puzzled, it didn't make sense. Why would William want to hide the fact from Liz? Wouldn't it help his case? But Rick had given up trying to understand love, it made people do funny things.

"About tomorrow's exhibit..." And the discussion began.

The next day

Mr. Bennett postponed his scheduled return to Iowa. Lydia was due to arrive soon and he was pacing Jane's living room. Liz and Jane watched him quietly in sympathy. They had spent the morning conveying the news to their mother and it had been a spectacle in itself. She had cooed and declared that she had known all along that her Lydia would never get involved in something illegal. Jane had tried to point out, in vain, that Lydia had been involved, otherwise she wouldn't be with this criminal. But there was no imparting sense to Mrs. Bennett. When they had hung up, all of them had headaches.

"I hope she at least learns a lesson from all of this," said Jane.

"I hope so, too," sighed Mr. Bennett. "I really hope so, but if she thinks she's out of the hot water, she's wrong."

"Don't be too hard on her, dad," said Jane.

Mr. Bennett shook his head, "You can't be too hard on her, Jane. I think it's time she learns some discipline."

At that moment, the doorbell rang and the sisters exchanged glances. It must be Lydia. They were apprehensive, not knowing what to expect. Maybe she had learnt her lesson, maybe she was repentant and sorry. Maybe she had been an utterly innocent victim and was traumatized by the incident. They truly didn't know what to expect. Jane opened the door and Lydia entered.

"Hi!!!! Oh, dad, you're here too!! Well!!!!"

Whatever they might have thought, they had not expected this. "Lydia?" said Jane.

"Oh, Jane, I had such a lovely time in Mexico, there's so much sun there, and I didn't really think that when I'd come back, I'd be arrested!!"

"Lydia," Jane entreated, but to no avail. Lydia would go on.

"It was so exciting. The police chased us and George really gave them a run, but we were caught. That sucked, but we still got away, you know."

"Lydia!!" cried Jane, glancing at the shocked faces of Mr. Bennett and Liz. "An officer was killed. This is very serious. Try to understand."

"But I do!" said Lydia brightly. "George didn't mean to kill him, it was an accident. Then we got scared and ran. Wait till I tell my friends. They'll all be so jealous. I bet none of them had such an exciting holiday!"

"You won't be seeing your friends any more," Mr. Bennett said. "You're going to transfer to Iowa."

"But dad!!" wailed Lydia.

"No buts, young lady," said Mr. Bennett with finality. "If you so much as complain, I will have you sent away to a nunnery."

Lydia instantly shut up, then looked at Jane for sympathy. Jane looked away and at length, she gave up. "Oh well, what's for lunch?"

Later that day

Liz needed fresh air to get away from Lydia. She decided to take a walk, but her hopes of a solitary ramble were dashed by Lydia joining her. Liz sighed heavily, failing in her attempts to dissuade Lydia from joining her. They walked in silence for a few moments before Lydia began talking about her adventures and experiences. Liz had had enough.

"Shut up, Lyddie, I don't want to hear it."

"But Lizzy! I haven't told you everything," Lydia exclaimed and continued. "And so, where was I? Oh yeah, so we were hiding out in this little motel in Dallas and I thought I'd die of boredom. I mean, we didn't go anywhere, not even clubbing. I was thinking of calling home, but George thought it was a bad idea. And anyway, so then, one day, who should come into our room, but William Darcy!!!! I -"

"What did you just say?" Liz interrupted her, certain that she hadn't heard her correctly.

"I said that William Darcy came to our room and...oh s**t, I wasn't supposed to say anything. I promised them I wouldn't tell anyone. They'll be so mad."

"Then, don't tell me," said Liz, her curiosity burning. She went back to the house as soon as possible, but her head was spinning with questions. William had seen her sister. Why? He had been in Dallas. He had voluntarily seen Wickham, a man whom he justly despised. What did it all mean? All the possibilities and questions boggled her mind. But she dared not allow herself to ponder it for too long because without the possession of the full facts, she would only indulge in idle conjecture that was very dangerous indeed. So, first, she needed to find someone who had the facts and she knew just the person she needed.

The next morning

"Rick," Liz entered his office. "Can I see you for a minute?"

"Sure, Liz, come on in," Rick watched her sit down with curiosity. She seemed...preoccupied, almost dreamy and he had a feeling she wanted something from him. "How can I help you?"

"By telling me the truth," stated Liz. "about William and his role in Lydia's rescue."

Rick shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "How do you...?"

His question was lost as Liz said, "So, you know. Why didn't you tell me?"

Rick knew he was cornered. "He made me promise not to tell you."

"Why?" she repeated.

"Frankly, I don't know," Rick sighed. "I assume Lydia told you?" When Liz nodded, he said, "That oughta teach William, trusting someone like Lydia. No offense."

"None taken," Liz assured him quickly. "So...? Tell me everything."

"Well," Rick began. "The day that you left Lambton, William called me. He wanted to dig up this woman that we know, a Mrs. Younge. She used to be Georgia's governess and was a good friend to Wickham. I helped him locate her new address and the very next day, he found her. She gave him Wickham's temporary address. He flew to Dallas and found Wickham. After some effort and lots of legal wrangling, he had Wickham arrested and Lydia was set free on grounds that she was an innocent victim.

"I don't know how he pulled it off, but I do know that he has some connections in the Dallas police force, so it might have been a personal favor. Anyway, so once he made sure Lydia was safe, he flew back to New York and the Dallas police informed you that Lydia had been found. He called me and told me all about it, but made me promise not to share it with you. He doesn't want you to know that he had anything to do with it. But I guess, that didn't work too well. And there it is. The whole truth," Rick concluded.

Liz was stunned, speechless. "Thanks for being so frank, Rick. I owe you one."

Still shaky, she left Rick's office and walked to her own. She had not assimilated all the information yet. All her theories were proven correct. William had, indeed, saved her sister. He had come to her rescue and used his influence to set her free. They owed him everything. If he hadn't intervened, Lydia would have been convicted for felony. William had done all that and had not even sought to make his benevolence known. Why? He had wanted to have it hidden for her and if it hadn't been for Lydia's indiscretion, she would never have known. Liz was chilled to realize how dangerously close she had come to not having found out the truth. But why? Liz echoed her thoughts. Why did he do it? It can't possibly mean anything...why would he...? Oh, I don't know.

She didn't know, but she could dream. And she dreamed that he had done it for her and that he'd come to claim her, take her in his arms and make her feel loved again. But is that what she wanted? Who am I kidding, of course that's what I want. In all her trials, the only constant in Liz's life had been her unwavering love for William. She had left their marriage, to be sure, but that did not imply that she did not love him. It was too complicated, but Liz had truly believed that both their lives would be much better if they were no longer bound together. However, ever since his letter, she had slowly begun to change her opinions. Perhaps, separating had not been such a good idea, after all. He had proven that Wickham's accusations were false and that he had never meant to hurt her. So, if William came to her today, would she accept him? I don't know...g-d, I don't know.

Meanwhile, in New York City

William was at his desk, hoping to concentrate on the task at hand, but his mind kept wandering. Where was Liz? What was she doing? Was she as miserable as he was? He hoped not. Lydia was probably home by now. What had Liz's reactions been? Had she forgiven him yet? She would never know, he decided. He could not bear to have her gratitude. He wanted to win her love and not get it by playing knight-in-shining-armor. He had wanted to help her, to be sure, but to be thanked for it would be insufferable. One good thing had come out of the entire mess...Wickham had been incarcerated. Now, he could breathe in relief.

"William, you're back!" Caroline suddenly entered his office without ceremony.

"Yes, Caroline, as you see."

"You went to Dallas, right?" she asked him brightly. He nodded and she said, "Did you find Lydia?"

"How do you know about that?!" he demanded.

"I overheard your conversation with Rick. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to," she smiled sweetly.

Sure you didn't. "Well, I found her, alright."

"And...?"

'And put Wickham in prison, where he belongs," William spat out, his hatred evident.

"But how can they let Lydia go and put him in prison? He might have actually killed the guy, but she was with him all the time --- " Caroline froze as she realized her faux pas. She had said too much. William arose from his seat and said menacingly.

"How can you possibly know that?"

Chapter 33

Posted on Monday, 27 December 1999

Caroline did not reply immediately, so William said, "How can you know about what Wickham is being convicted for?"

"You, um, you mentioned it when you were talking to Rick," muttered Caroline.

"No, I did not," said William. "Caroline, what does this mean? How do you know?"

"I heard it from you, I told you," she said defensively, not daring to look at him, nervously playing with her rings, cursing the moment she'd come into his room. Dammed luck!

"You know you didn't, I know you didn't, so why don't you tell me the truth. How are you involved in this? Did you know about it? Caroline, say something!" he thundered, a sense of foreboding overcoming him. His instincts told him that Caroline was at fault and somehow involved with Wickham, but how could that be possible? He closed the distance between them as Caroline stepped back until she was against the wall and he looked down at her.

"I don't know anything, William, let me go," she trembled.

"Caroline," he said threateningly. "I will find out the truth and it's better if you tell me right now." She was shivering. "I won't hurt you, just tell me what's going on."

She looked at him for a moment, then said, "You're not going to like this."

"Try me."

She sighed, then said, "Few weeks ago, when you were in DC, Wickham came to me and threatened to kill me unless I helped him. He wanted someone who was close to you, so that I could keep him informed about your whereabouts. I didn't have a chance, I tried to resist him, but to no avail. So, when he plotted to implicate Lydia in a crime, I knew about it but there was nothing I could do to stop him."

William had walked away. He assimilated the information before turning towards Caroline and saying, "Why'd he do it?"

"I'm not sure...maybe to get to you...I don't know, he didn't exactly confide in me," Caroline paused briefly to see his reaction, then continued. "William, I'm really sorry. I tried to tell you, but I didn't want to get you involved in the mess." She approached William. "Will you forgive me?"

He sighed, "It's not your fault, Caroline, don't worry about it."

"Oh, thanks for understanding!" she sighed with relief.

"Well, I've got to make some calls, so excuse me," he said.

Caroline nodded and hastily departed. Once outside, she gave a huge sigh amazed at how close to complete ruin she had been. And he actually bought my story. What a sucker! She was confident that he had believed her little concoction and was very pleased of the ease with which she had extricated herself from the situation. Stupid Wickham, how'd he manage to land himself in jail. Well, I don't need him anyway. I can do this by myself.

The next morning; New York

William stared at the telephone, waiting for the call. He had spent the past day pondering on what Caroline had told him and he had a hard time believing her. There were so many implausible premises in her story, for instance, why would Wickham contact her, of all people, to aid him? How did Wickham even know her? Why this elaborate scheme simply to involve her? It hardly made any sense and William began to have doubts that Caroline was speaking the truth. But what motive could she have to lie so blatantly? Whatever happened in the past, Caroline had never proved herself to be bad person. However, for the sake of his peace of mind, William had resolved to settle the matter once and for all. He had, therefore, called his old friend Jeremy Lewis in the Dallas police and had outlined his plan to determine Caroline's truthfulness. Now all that remained for William was to await Jeremy's call.

The phone rang and William answered it. "Hello?"

"Hey Will, it's me," said Jeremy. "I did what you asked and I must thank you for quite an entertaining evening."

"Why, what happened?" asked William anxiously.

"It seems that your friend, Caroline is a fake, Will," said Jeremy. "We told Wickham that Caroline was bringing blackmail charges against him and at first, he denied knowing any Caroline, but we persisted and told him that it would add an extra 5 years in his sentence and that did it. He flipped totally and told us that Caroline was his co-conspirator and that she'd been working with him. He made tapes of their conversations and had them stowed away in that motel he was staying in. I heard them, Will, and they seem pretty incriminating to me. So...what do you want to do?"

William said nothing.

"Will? Are you there?"

"Yeah, Jeremy, thanks a lot. I...I can handle it from here. Thanks."

"Okay, anytime. Take care." Jeremy hung up.

Oh god!! William thought. All his fears were confirmed. Caroline was a fake, an imposter. Who knew what was her motive was, but the truth was that she'd been wedged in his life for so long and there was no count of the damage she might have done. The mind boggled at the mere thought. After the first wave of surprise, William experienced a surge of anger. She was such an accomplished liar that she had almost had him convinced of her innocence. How very smooth. But she was a vicious, conniving money-grabber who had plotted against him and Liz with Wickham. William was repulsed at the mere idea of them working together, trying to make his life miserable. It was time for Caroline to pay. William stormed into her room and glared at her.

"You conniving, two faced, little ------ !"

Caroline looked up in surprise. "William, you're upset."

"Dang right, I'm upset," he said. "No need to pretend anymore, Caroline, it's over. I know your little secret. Your friend Wickham spilled the beans."

For a second, Caroline just stared at him, shocked, then said, "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Oh, just quit that game, won't you?" he thundered. "I have hard evidence...some tapes that he made. Why, Caroline, why? Why'd you do it?"

She refused to look at him. "You don't understand. It's not like that. I didn't mean to hurt you." She glanced at him, and seeing his anger, hurried along. "I don't know why I did it, but rest assured, I didn't intend to cause anyone any problem. You have to believe me, William. It's true."

He looked at her fake tears and was disgusted. "Oh, gimme a break. Do you really think I'll fall for your little-Ms-Innocent act again? I know better than that. You were working with Wickham. You can be convicted for it."

"So, you're going to turn me in, is that it?" she looked at him with a defiant turn of her head.

"I didn't say that," William replied, suppressing his anger. "But I do want you out of my life...forever. I want you to tell me of any plans you'd made with Wickham. You'll quit this job and move as far away from New York City as you possibly can. If I so much as see you again in this city, I'll have you arrested. You lied to me, Caroline, again and again. You tried to hurt Liz and her family. I'll never forgive you for that. Never." He gave her a final, dismissing look, but to his surprise, she stood up, looked at him and said,

"Whatever I did, I did it for us, William."

"There is no 'us', Caroline, can't you see that?"

"But you don't see...there's always been something between us, but you've been too blind to notice," she said. "It's unmistakable, it's undeniable. You can't fight it, no matter how hard you try. That's why your marriage didn't last. Somehow, Liz sensed what was between us."

"Oh, please!" exclaimed William, scoffing. "That's all very touching, but we both know it's not true. I can't believe in anything you say anymore, Caroline. So, why don't you do us both a favor and get out of here."

Caroline glared at him and felt her dreams slipping away quickly. She was furious and in her anger, spat out what would have been wise to keep. "Fine! If that's how you want it. Be that way! But you wanna know what's ironic? I ruined your precious marriage. You wanna know what happened in Hawaii? Nothing, absolutely nothing! I staged the whole damn thing. Isn't that why she divorced you? Well, that's just too bad."

William looked at her taunting face and clenched his fists. He muttered slowly, "Get out, get out right now before I hurt you." He held himself back with great effort.

Caroline stared at him, knowing fully well that there was no hope of her getting back on his good side. It had all been lost. She had also foolishly revealed her little secret regarding Hawaii. But that doesn't matter. He's not getting back with Liz. Not now, not ever. She shot him a triumphant look and then, without another word, walked out of the office, leaving William behind to try and understand what he'd just learned. My god, she was lying! The whole time! It never happened! I knew I couldn't do anything like that. But she spoiled everything...Liz left because of her. He sank into a chair, wondering what the best course of action might be. I have to find out if there's any hope. I have to see Liz again...this changes everything...if only she'll believe me. And his resolve was made, he'd go to DC and try to win Liz again.

That evening; Washington DC

The long drive had not rendered him tired in the least, rather William was filled with a sense of anticipation and hope. He had thought of nothing but Liz on his way to DC and could only conjecture his reactions on seeing her again. More importantly, how would she react when the truth was revealed? Would she believe him and if so, what next? William had no satisfactory answer for this question or any other that sprung in his mind. He was much too excited to think clearly, and, at any rate, there was no gain in such speculations. He would find out her answers soon enough, and those answers would seal his fate forever...favorable or otherwise. William thought with frustration of all the time they'd lost because of Caroline. He was certain that the divorce would never have happened had Hawaii not occurred. But there was no use in such considerations. That was all in the past, and what remained was the future. And William was determined to make it a happy future.

Dusk was falling when William pulled into the parking lot of Liz's office. He assumed that she'd be working late as she normally did. With restless energy, he stepped out of the elevator and rushed to her office. On arriving at the door, he discovered the room to be dark and sure enough, she was not inside. William cursed his luck. She must be at home. He turned on his heels and was just about to step into the elevator when he heard his name being called.

"William!"

He turned around and saw the person he'd least expected to see. "Ben?"

"Hey," said Ben catching up with him. "What're you doing here? Looking for Liz?"

"Yeah," William nodded.

"I thought so," replied Ben, then was silent for a few moments. "Umm...do you remember the day that you left for New York...you came to my house...?"

"Yes, I remember," acknowledged William, beginning to get nervous, unable to determine what Ben wanted to convey.

"Well, I just wanted you to know that I think you were wrong."

"Excuse me?" said William, surprised.

"Yeah, you heard me. You were wrong in leaving Liz like you did. You said that I should take care of her, that I should love her. Well, I do love her and I want to take care of her, but there is no chance of that ever happening. She loves you, always has. You'd be stupid to let her go so easily. There are not many women like her in this world. You're very lucky, William, believe me. You'll find her at her house. Go and do the right thing. She's waiting for you."

William just looked at him for a few seconds. "I...I'm sorry about this. You-"

"Oh, don't worry about me," said Ben shakily. "I'll get over it, I hope. It's my fault for pursuing her when I knew that her heart belonged to you."

"Thank you," said William, not knowing what to say. He awkwardly shook hands with Ben. With another look, William was gone. Ben stared after him, thinking of what he'd just done. He had just let go. He had just lost her forever. But, he thought, sometimes in love, the greatest thing one can do is to let go...if it makes her happy.

10 minutes later

William pulled into her driveway and sat in his car nervously. His encounter with Ben had served to boost his confidence, but on seeing her house, it waned again. William recalled the last time he'd been in her house. What a disaster that had been! He was scared of saying the wrong things, of offending her in any way. There would not be another chance. William realized the importance of what was to occur. If she refused him....he didn't even want to ponder that awful thought. He would not know what to do. But there was no use in thinking of such morbid things. What if she did accept him? William could not indulge in those fantasies either. At length, he got out of his car and walked to the door. With a deep breath, he rang the bell. The door opened.

"William?" Liz looked at him, a note of surprise in her voice.

She didn't shut the door on my face. A good sign? "Hi," he greeted her.

"I, ah..., come in."

She's inviting me in! A definite good sign! he thought. She led him into the living room and bid him to be seated. She offered him something to drink and he declined. She sat down on the couch opposite to him and looked at him expectantly.

"I...I was in the neighborhood and thought I'd come to see you," he said. God, how stupid you sound!

"I'm glad that you did," she said, half-smilingly.

"How have you been?"

"Good, I think," she answered him. "How's Georgia?"

"Fine, thanks. She was disappointed that you couldn't have dinner with us."

Liz did not reply. She studied his face earnestly for a few moments. Why was he here, she could not imagine, but she knew that she had to say what she'd been wanting to say ever since she'd found out. "William," she said suddenly.

"Yes?" he looked at her, both hopefully and fearfully.

"I can't go on any longer without thanking you for your kindness to my poor sister." On seeing his look, she continued. "Don't blame Rick, it was Lydia who first told me that you'd been involved. And you know that I wouldn't rest till I found out everything. My family doesn't know about this, but I'm sure they'd like to thank you as well. So, I want to thank you on behalf on all my family."

William was quiet for a few moments, then said. "If you must thank me, let it be for yourself alone. Your family owes me nothing. Much as I respect them, I believe I was thinking only of you."

Liz blushed and stood up. William walked up behind her and said, "I know what you thought of me before, but Liz, things have changed. I found out that...that Caroline was involved with Wickham and plotted with him."

Liz spun around. "Really?"

"Yes, and there's more. She told me that nothing happened in Hawaii. Nothing! It was all her fault. She staged the whole episode to suit her own purposes."

"Really?" repeated Liz, tears springing in her eyes.

William stepped closer. "Yes, really. Have I ever lied to you? Liz, you are too good to play with me. I have not changed and believe me, my love has not either. I love you still with all my heart. Now if you still feel as you did before, tell me, and I'll never bother you again. But I'll not stop loving you."

The ball was in her court. Liz looked into his intense eyes and sighed inwardly.

Conclusion

Posted on Tuesday, 28 December 1999

Liz looked into William's eyes, drowning in its fire and intensity, unsure of what to think or how to feel. His assertions about Caroline, she did not doubt, but she was hesitant to admit to herself, the multitude of emotions that the declaration opened. Her first reaction was disbelief, but William's eyes assuaged those concerns and urged her to accept it as the truth. However, when he uttered those precious words of love, she held her breath and knew not how to respond. This was what she had been fearing and the moment of truth had arrived.

"I...I love you, too, William," she said, looking straight into his bottomless eyes. There was so much to think, feel and express, but Liz could say no more. It would suffice to say that she had no words to express her feelings at that moment.

"Then, marry me?" he said, smiling, and moving closer till he was standing inches away, his eyes exerting a magnetic influence on her.

"What?!" she exclaimed in surprise, taken completely off-guard.

"Marry me," he repeated. "And why not? I love you, you love me. Forget Barney, but it's true. So, what should hold us back?"

"I...I don't know what to say," she stammered.

"Say 'yes'," he urged her, grinning.

There was a note of playful cheerfulness in his voice that reminded Liz of the old days and tugged at her heart. She looked at his earnest face and smiling eyes and knew that chances of her offering any real resistance were very meager, indeed. However, she was not ready to submit to him quite so easily, not without a fight, anyway.

"I can't," she replied, stepping back to put some distance between them.

He stepped forward. "Why not? Liz, why can't you be happy? What's stopping you? I told you, Caroline was lying. I did not cheat on you."

"It's not that," she said shakily.

"Then what?" he demanded. Seeing her hurt look, he softened visibly and said, "Look, if you don't talk to me, I'll never know what's bothering you. That's what ruined our marriage before and it'll ruin any chances of future happiness again. Please, Liz, tell me what you're feeling right now. Tell me what's bothering you. Tell me why you don't want to be with me."

Liz could see the hurt in his eyes, so she closed her own to block out all the emotions. She sighed and led him to the couch. Once they were seated, she sighed and said. "If I only knew what I was feeling, I'd tell you, William, but frankly, I don't know. I'm very confused...I love you and always have. That's never been the question. But love is not always the answer. We need something more to survive...we need to have trust and stability...we can't have that if we're always apart. You don't know what it's like to wake up every morning, all alone, not knowing where you were. I trusted you, William, so I never worried about who you were with, but the tension, the strain, began to take their toll on me. I could never see you leave for another important meeting without a heavy feeling in my heart...

"I'm not saying that I was unhappy, just unsatisfied. I dare say many people can live like that, but not me. It was no life for me. As much as I loved you, I just couldn't bear it any more. I began to see that we might have made a huge mistake because we were so young when we married. It occurred to me that I might be holding you back. I know how important your work is to you and I didn't want to stand in your way. And then, the whole Hawaii thing happened. That's when I filed for divorce. It doesn't mean I stopped loving you, it just means that I couldn't live with you anymore."

She paused to look at him. He was quiet, absorbing every word. "So, what about now?" he ventured. "What happens now?"

She looked at him helplessly. "That's it, I don't know. We've been apart for months now and it's been hell, for both of us. I thought I could forget you and move on, but that didn't work. And I don't know what happens now..."

He was quiet for a few moments before looking at her and saying. "Listen to me, Liz, we can make this work, we really can. I'll quit my job, we can move to a small town...maybe in Iowa, if you want. I'll do whatever you want. But don't ask me to live without you. It's no life, for either of us. You've seen how miserable we were. We're meant to be together. You have to accept that."

She smiled slightly. "You know that won't work. You'd be bored out of your mind and besides, you'd be frustrated and start hating me. I couldn't bear that to happen. There's no question of you quitting, William, it'll not do."

"Okay, then," he said. "I won't quit my job, but we can still give 'us' another try. We're more mature and can handle it. It was my fault for taking you for granted. But I know that's wrong. I'll cherish you, I'll cut down my travels. I'll try my best to be with you when you need me. Liz, we can make it work, if we try. We have to make it work. There's no one else I want to spend my life with and grow old with. There's no one else I want to have children and grandchildren with. You must see, there's no other way. Please, please, try to see, Liz. I'll ask you for the last time. Will you marry me?"

She looked at him earnestly for a long time as if making her decision, a decision that would affect them both for a lifetime. And then, she softly said, "Yes."

"What did you say?!" he exclaimed in disbelief.

"Yes, I'll marry you, William Darcy. I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you and no one else."

Before she even finished her sentence, William leaned over until his face was inches away from hers. He muttered, "I love you so much," and began to kiss her. As the kiss deepened, Liz wrapped her hands around her neck, unwilling to let go. This act seemed to fuel William's passion for he kissed her with unrestrained love. It was a symbol of months of longing and separation. It was a triumph of love and suffering. The world seemed to melt away and time stopped. It was pure, unadulterated love, untainted by worldly lust or deceit. In the arms of one another, they found themselves and a haven for all eternity. As their passions unfolded, they found the true meaning of togetherness and undying devotion. There can be no words to describe their feelings or emotions, but it was evident that any misunderstanding that might have existed dissolved away in face of that single, tumultuous kiss.

When they surfaced, Liz opened her eyes and looked at William in wonder. "Wow."

He smiled, his arms still around her. "I missed you."

"I missed you, too," she said, her eyes not leaving his for a second. "We should have done this sooner."

"You think," he smiled. "But seriously, I don't want anything to come between us again. Promise me, Liz that you will never leave me again."

"I promise," she said solemnly.

"And whatever happens, I'll not let you go again...I promise," he said, his eyes conveying the sincerity of his convictions. "I've lost you before, and I never want to lose you again. It's too painful."

She nodded in silent agreement. He held her tight, not wanting to ever let go. He pulled her even closer and muttered small endearments into her ears. They were at peace, with the world, with themselves and with one another. Sitting in front of the fireplace, they were a picture of utter contentment. Finally, he pulled away and looked at her. "Did the letter change your mind about me?"

She smiled and his heart skipped a beat. "Yes. I'm so ashamed to think of what I said. I don't know why I believed Wickham...I guess I just wanted to believe him, but I should have trusted you more. I should never have let Caroline or Wickham come between us. Maybe we wouldn't have had to go through this...it would have saved us so much pain and heartache."

"Don't blame yourself," he said softly. "We're stronger for all the heartache. I can honestly say that I've never loved you more than at this moment. Dearest, loveliest Elizabeth...you don't know how happy you've made me. If you had refused, I don't know what I would have done, how I would have survived...you're my life."

She kissed him again and smiled, "You're such a sweetie."

He smiled back. "I also want to say that...well, I know how difficult it must have been for you to lose our baby...I wish I could change things. I wish that I could have been there with you. I'm so sorry for all that you had to go through, alone. You had a right to despise me then."

A stray tear rolled down her face, which he wiped. "It was difficult, but it was because of you that I managed to survive. Even in those dark days, I never stopped thinking about you. But I don't want to think of those days anymore. It's much too painful."

He gently kissed her nose, promising himself that he'd never let her suffer like that again. Aloud, he said, "Now about the wedding..."

She smiled. "What about it?"

"How soon can we have it?"

"A month?"

"That's much too long," he said.

"I think we owe our families a proper wedding, Will..."

He sighed. "You're right, of course, but how can I bear not being with you for an entire month."

She simply smiled as she hugged him and pulled him close. "You'll manage, I dare say." Then, she giggled.

"What's so funny?" he asked.

"Wait till I tell mom. She'll have a fit."

"Oh no," he groaned.

"Better yet, I'll let you break the news."

"So much for cruel and unusual punishment," he muttered and they both burst out laughing.

A month later, Iowa

"...I now pronounce you husband and wife," the priest looked at William with a genial smile. "You may kiss the bride."

William lifted Liz's veil and took a sharp breath. She was breathtakingly beautiful in her simple white gown, her hair put up in a bun with a few loose tendrils framing her oval shaped face. He bent forward to kiss her as she looked up at him with a smile of wonder and contentment. His lips claimed hers and they were lost in each other, forgetting the time and the place. They were so involved that all the whistles and the catcalls brought them back to their senses and they quickly separated. Liz glanced at him and blushed while William whispered, "I love you," before they walked down the aisle, man and wife. William looked over at his new bride and could not believe how lucky he was, indeed, he had dreamed of this day for so long that his mind cast a doubt on its reality. Then, she glanced at him and smiled. It was an innocent smile that beckoned him to come closer and William cursed the rituals that dictated them to appear at the reception for right at that moment, there was nowhere he'd rather be than in the arms of his one true love. But let's get it over with. He thought as they proceeded to the reception.

A little later; Bennett Farm

"Oh, you look lovely, Liz, you really do!!" exclaimed Mrs. Bennett as she admired her newly wed daughter. "I knew this day would come, I knew that god couldn't deny me the happiness of seeing my daughter get married. I'm so happy!!! And William, you look quite dashing yourself! Take good care of my girl, won't you? But of course you will! You two look so cute together. Oh!!!"

"Um...thank you, Mrs. Bennett," William smiled at Liz.

"Call me mom," urged Mrs. Bennett. "No formality now."

"Fran," her husband approached them. "There's some trouble with the food..."

"I'll be right back," said Mrs. Bennett as she quickly left.

Liz smiled at her dad, "Thanks dad!"

"No problem, Lizzy," replied Mr. Bennett, his eyes moist. "You look positively radiant. I'm very happy for you." Then, he looked at William, who seemed a little uncomfortable. "I have a high respect for someone Liz loves so much. Welcome to the family, William."

"Thank you, sir," William said. "I'll take good care of her."

Mr. Bennett smiled and kissed Liz on her cheeks. As he left to attend to other guests, Liz's eyes caught a couple on the dance floor.

"Who is Jane dancing with?" she asked William.

William looked and replied, "My best man, Charles Bingley."

"Don't they look cute together?" she smiled.

"I guess," William answered, stealing a look at his wife. "But don't try any matchmaking."

"I wouldn't dream of it!" she exclaimed in a tone that declared her intentions were quite different.

"Liz!!" Rick and Georgia came to greet them.

"Congratulations pal!" Rick smiled while Georgia hugged her brother.

"So, where are you going for your honeymoon?" asked Rick.

Liz and William exchanged glances, then said, "Lambton, Vermont."

Georgia giggled and smiled. "How lovely!"
Liz caught sight of her sisters in a corner and said to William, "I'll go and talk to them for a bit." She gave him a quick kiss, excused herself from Rick and Georgia and approached her sisters.

"Mary! Kate! It's so good to see you," she hugged them. "Hi Trey," she greeted Mary's husband.

"Congratulations Liz," Trey greeted her.

"Liz, this is my boyfriend, David," Kate introduced the tall gentleman at her side.

"It's a pleasure," David smiled politely.

Liz chatted with them for a few moments and then, awkward silence ensued. She shifted uncomfortably before addressing Trey, "Um...I didn't see your brother anywhere. Is he here?"

Trey looked at her earnestly for a long time. "Ben is here, I think."

"I just wanted to talk to him," said Liz with a pleading look in her eyes.

Trey sighed as he exchanged glances with Mary. "You'll find him outside. He needed to...get away," said Trey with a significant look.

Liz thanked him and headed outside after quickly scanning the crowd. She had hardly spoken to Ben this past month, not having the courage to face him. He had been very polite when informed of her impending wedding, but was very cool and distant. It hurt Liz to see him thus and she wished in heaven that there were something she could do to ease his pain. But there was nothing she could say or do, really, that did not sound artificial. On this happiest of happy days, Liz resolved to heal their breach, as best as she could. Once outside, she spotted Ben at a distance and approached him.

He heard her footsteps and turned around. "Liz."

"Ben."

Silence.

"You look very beautiful," he said, looking into her eyes.

"I...thank you."

Silence.

"Shouldn't you be inside?" he asked at length.

"Well, yes," she conceded. "But I wanted to talk to you."

"Really?" Since when have I become so important? he wanted to say to her.

"Yes," she nodded, knowing that the battle was half-lost. "I'm really, really sorry, Ben, you don't know how sorry I am. I just...it's just...I don't know what to say."

"Then don't say anything," he urged her, moving forward. "It's just one of those things, I know. You don't owe me any apology. Never think that you do. I don't want you to be sorry for being happy. Don't think that I am such a bitter person. I am very happy for you, Liz, as much as it hurts to see you like this, I really want you to be happy. That's all."

A single tear escaped her eyes. "You don't deserve this, Ben."

He reached out and wiped the tear away. He looked at her intently, then smiled. "Don't worry about it. If I had to do it all over, I wouldn't change a thing."

She looked at him in wonder. "How can you say that? I hurt you so much."

He shook his head. "No, you don't understand. As much as this hurts, I wouldn't change a thing because it would be worse if I hadn't known you...I would never have known what true love feels like." He smiled gently. "If anything, I should thank you for being who you are."

She smiled with him. "Thank you."

"What for?"

"For being who you are," she whispered. "You'll always hold a special place in my heart, no matter what."

"That's enough for me," he declared. "I don't want anything more." They stood together for a few moments, silent, tension in the air between them. Then, he said, "You'd better go in. Your husband will be looking for you."

And the moment was lost. She nodded. "Won't you come in, too?"

"Maybe later."

She looked at him for a last time. He smiled at her encouragingly as if asking her to go. She smiled back, her eyes moist. Then, as if to break the spell, she turned around and walked back towards the house. When at the door, she turned around to look at him. He was staring at her. With another look, she disappeared inside.

"I was looking for you," said William, as soon as she went in. "Liz? What's wrong?" he asked on seeing her grave demeanor.

"Nothing. It's just...nothing."

"Are you sure?"

She looked at him. "Yeah, I'm sure."

"Shall we dance, then?" he asked.

A brief hesitation. "Yes."

William led her to the dance floor and slowly put his arms around her, pulling her closer to him. He sensed that she was upset and knew not how to comfort her. He looked into her eyes and finding, no clue there, simply sought to drown her in his own. There was a small, tender smile playing on his lips, as if he had a secret no one else could divine. Soft music began to play and they began to gently sway to the music, in sync together and in perfect rhythm.

Unforgettable, that's what you are
Unforgettable though near or far

William softly crooned the words into her ears. Liz looked up at him in surprise. She smiled, but the smile did not touch her eyes. He closed the distance between them as he pulled her even closer. She reacted by putting her arms around his neck and resting her head on his shoulders. There was nothing to say, really. He wished that she would confide her worries, but knew that there was no use in rushing her.

Like a song of love that clings to me
How the thought of you does things to me
Never before has someone been more

She looked at him again, her eyes trying to convey some message. He looked at her as if to ask a question, but she shook her head in negation. He said nothing, honoring her wishes. There was a haunting sadness in her eyes that he wished would disappear. He wished that he could kiss away the unshed tears and remove the heavy load from her heart. But how? He had no clue what was bothering her. Was it him? Had he done something to displease her? That thought worried him and he looked at her again.

Unforgettable in every way
And forever more, that's how you'll stay

Suddenly, her body stiffened and instinctively, he knew that the cause of her worries had appeared. Out of the corner of his eyes, he spied Ben standing at the door. So that was it. Ben. He knew that her innate sadness stemmed from that one person. She was sad because she had hurt Ben, unwittingly yes, but hurt him nonetheless. From the tension in her body, he could divine that she must have talked to him. He knew how painful it must have been. He felt sorry for Ben, but it was one of those occasions in life when he could do nothing to help her. It was a question of love and there was no way he could help her or save Ben from pain.

That's why, darling, it's incredible
That someone so unforgettable
Thinks that I am unforgettable too

Other couples began to join the dance floor. She held on tightly to him as if scared that she would lose him. He held her close as if reassuring her that nothing would happen. Then, she spied a couple join the dancing. Her face lightened visibly. He looked in the direction she was looking at and then, he saw them. Ben and Charlotte. Dancing together. Together. He looked at her. She smiled, but this time, her smile was real. It reached her eyes and touched them like it had not before. He smiled back. She was happy, and that was enough for him. He sighed in relief.

Unforgettable in every way
And forever more, that's how you'll stay
That's why, darling, it's incredible
That someone so unforgettable
Thinks that I am unforgettable too*

As the song ended, William whispered, "I love you so much."

"I love you, too," Liz whispered back.

They sealed that sacred declaration with a kiss, temporarily transported far away from the present, to a place where love reigned supreme without artifice or deceit and where dreams did come true.

Once upon a time, a handsome prince married a beautiful princess and after many trials and tribulations, they loved each other still and lived happily every after...

* Unforgettable by Nat "King" Cole

The End.

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