Loving Lucas - Contents

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Prologue

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Prologue

Sweet freedom was within his grasp and Riley Miller could
scarcely believe it was real.

After ten years ten long, agonizing years in hell—in less than
twenty-four hours, his life would be his and never again would
anyone tell him what to do and when to do it. All the rules
would be out the window. No more listening to guards ordering

him around, telling him when he could eat or sleep or take a
shit while snoopy cellmates sneakily rifled through his
belongings, spying on him for the guards and the warden.

Everyone is against me. Always have been. But that’s okay.
Soon, they’ll see they can’t keep me down and they can’t stop
me from doing what I want to do.

Alone in his cell, staring at the ceiling, Riley smiled to himself
as he mentally reviewed his carefully crafted to-do list.

He didn’t dare write anything down; his cellmates would find it
and pass it to the guards and they would try to use it to block
his release. Riley couldn’t have that.

Not now.

Not when he had come some far; not when he was so close to
getting the second chance he rightfully deserved.

The second chance his new lawyer had secured for him.

“I can’t believe your first court-appointed lawyer missed it, but
you were only seventeen at the time the crime was committed
and because you were a minor, the police should never have
questioned you without your mother in the room.”

“What does that mean?”

“It means your confession is nullified and therefore, your
conviction is overturned.”

“You mean….”

“It will take about a day to process the paperwork, but after
that, you will be released and as soon as you’re settled, we
should think about a civil case on the grounds that your civil
rights were seriously violated.”

The lawyer, Drake Owens, seemed excited about a possible
civil case, but Riley wasn’t worried about that.

Owens had already served his purpose. Riley was no longer
upset by his mother forcing him to promise he wouldn’t
contact her or anyone else in the family again, if she paid for
Owens to review his case and fight for his release.

She always was a bitch. I don’t need her. I don’t need anyone
now. She can rot in hell, ’cause I’ll be free really soon and then I
can really make things right.

For Riley, that meant only one thing.

He wouldn’t rest, he wouldn’t know a moment’s peace, until he
stood over Lucas Keifer’s dead body while the bastard’s blood
dried on his hands.

No mistakes this time; I won’t just assume he’s dead. I’ll make
sure of it. But no way will I kill him quickly. He thought he
suffered before, but this time, he’ll be begging for me to kill him.

He’d had ten years to dream about it and plan it, ten years to
remember Lucas leading him on and then rejecting him. He
knew his mother and everyone else believed Lucas when he
said he and Riley had never been involved romantically. His
mother had gone as far as to back Lucas up, telling the police
that Riley had always been unstable and strange. She even
handed over his journals, which held his writings about Lucas,
and the police had used those writings as “proof” that Riley

was clearly obsessed with the young teacher, who had done
nothing more than be kind to the awkward kid who didn’t
have any real friends in school.

It was more! It was! Lucas made me love him. He was nice to
me. I saw the way he looked at me in class and he wanted me,
but he changed his mind when he met that other guy and then
he lied and I had to make him pay for that, for making a fool of
me!

Feeling the familiar stirrings of anger, Riley closed his eyes
and drew in a deep breath, assuring himself that soon, he
would have his payback and nothing and no one could stop
him.

I wonder if anyone will call and tell Lucas I’m getting out.

He almost hoped someone would. He liked the idea of Lucas
sitting around, afraid, worried, wondering when Riley would
swoop down and end his life in a bloodbath.

Smiling at the thought, he allowed himself a moment to
remember how he had wanted it to be so different, how he had
fallen in love with Lucas Keifer the moment he saw the new
teacher standing in front of his senior English class.

Fresh out of college, ambitious and outgoing, Lucas Keifer
wasn’t like other teachers; he was warm and kind and he
related to his students. He didn’t talk down to them; he talked
to them, openly, in a way that made them feel comfortable and
at ease, and he never hesitated to offer extra help to anyone
who needed it.

When the other kids in class made fun of Riley, Lucas was the
first teacher to ever tell them to knock it off. Riley knew then
that Lucas loved him.

And he was beautiful. So very, very beautiful.

At five-nine, he wasn’t overly tall, but he was beautifully built
and graceful with well-crafted muscles created by years of
competitive swimming and gymnastics. His hair was a thick
golden-blond and more than a bit unruly and longish, the
mesmerizing shade a perfect contrast to his sun-kissed skin
and expressive, darkly- lashed cerulean blue eyes.

He wasn’t a fan of shaving daily, so he often had a rugged
appeal and, unlike other teachers, he avoided anything more
“dressy” than jeans and T-shirts.

All the students loved him, but none more than Riley.

Riley loved him completely and, for a while, Lucas made it
clear he loved him too, with smiles and eye contact and extra
help after class, but then Riley learned that Lucas was living
with another man and it broke his heart.

He tried to talk to Lucas, but Lucas was confused when Riley
asked him why he was turning away from him.

“Riley, I don’t understand….”

“You do! I know you do! All the time we spent together? You
have to remember.”

“I helped you after school….”

“No! You told me you loved me. You said I was special.”

“Maybe we should sit down and talk about this.”

“No! I don’t want to talk. I want to know why you’re cheating on
me! I saw you yesterday, at the park, with that other man.”

Another teacher heard him screaming and she contacted the
principal and the school therapist and they came in and
demanded to know what was going on.

They talked to him and Lucas separately, but no one believed
Riley. They all said he was clearly “troubled” and his mother

bringing in his writings just confirmed that, the principal
insisted, before he and the therapist instructed Riley’s mother
to get him help before he returned to school.

Lucas even offered to help cover the cost, but his mother
refused his help. She told Riley he would just have to go to
another school, that she wouldn’t waste money trying to “fix”
him because she knew it would be a waste.

“You just stay away from that teacher, you little freak. If you go
near him, I’ll kill you.”

He told his mother he would, but it was a lie, because he
started sneaking out that very night, to go and sit across the
street from Lucas’s apartment.

Every night for two weeks after he was thrown out of school,
he watched Lucas come and go from afar. He saw him with
his boyfriend/live-in lover and he learned the guy’s name was
Ridge Dallas. He was an accountant or something like that
and he was certainly good-looking, but not nearly as good-
looking as Lucas, and Riley hated him. Each time he saw them
hold hands or kiss, he grew to hate Lucas more.

Lucas lied; Lucas led me on; Lucas cheated.

Everything that happened was all Lucas’s fault. He had
brought it all on himself and Riley wasn’t sorry for any of it;
even now, ten years later.

He only regretted that Lucas hadn’t died.

But he will this time; this time he will pay for hurting me, for
lying, for breaking my heart and ruining my life with his lies.

Really, Riley reasoned, it would be so easy. Maybe easier than
it was before.

He already knew where to find Lucas. He had been keeping
tabs on him for years, going as far as to pay a former cellmate

to track him down and give Riley a report about where he was
living and what he was doing.

He lived in a North Carolina town called Cedar Point where he
owned a bookstore.

Bet no one is living with him now. Bet he can’t get a lover or
even pay someone to fuck him.

Satisfied with that thought, as he always was, to know he had
made Lucas Keifer unlovable, Riley rolled to his side with a
contented sigh.

Tomorrow, he would be free.

Tomorrow, he would set his plans into motion and it would be
wonderful.

Enjoy what time you have left, Lucas. I’ll come see you soon
and this time, you will die.

Chapter One

“Lucas? Look, I know you’re there and you know why I’m
calling. I got a call from that DA in Atlanta and he told me
what’s going on. He said Miller is getting out on some damn
technicality and they wanted the local law enforcement to
know the deal.”

Pausing for a brief second, Sheriff Nicholas Demetris mentally

cursed, because he knew Lucas was sitting in his living room,
listening to the message as he left it, but the stubborn bastard
wouldn’t pick up the phone.

As much as he loved the man, and there was no denying that
he did love the man with all his fool heart, there were times
when he desperately wanted to strangle him and now was
indeed one of those times.

Damn it, Luc; let me be there. Let me help you and love you.

“Okay, here’s the deal. No one knows what this Miller bastard
has in mind but I won’t take any chances, so I’ll be dropping
by your place a little after five. I’ll grab some food from the
diner and I know you’re likely already making nice little plans
not to let me in, but if you don’t, I’ll just spend all night sitting
outside your door.”

Allowing a small smile, Nicholas ended the call and sighed,
sitting back in his well-worn leather swivel chair, reaching a
hand around to rub the back of his aching neck.

He knew the beginnings of a tension headache all too well and
this one had been in the making since the unexpected call
from Dwight Daylan, informing him he might want to keep an
eye out for soon-to-be-released Riley Miller.

“I’ll e-mail you the file on Miller, but I wanted to call with a
heads-up. I still can’t believe the man is getting a free pass, and
if I had to place a bet, I’d say he’s just as dangerous today as
he was ten damn years ago when we locked him away.”

“I’ll be sure to keep an eye out for him and I’d be happy to look
at that file.”

“It’s on the way, but to give you the basic lowdown; Riley Miller
became obsessed with Lucas Keifer. In his mind, he had some
sort of relationship with Keifer and when he had to face reality,
he snapped. He abducted the man outside his apartment, took
him to a secluded location, sexually assaulted him, stabbed him
and then set what he thought was a dead body on fire.”

Nicholas didn’t cut in to tell the DA that he knew that much,
because really, that was all he knew, just the cold facts. Lucas
had refused to share more with him or even talk openly about
what he had suffered. He kept it closed in, kept it locked
inside, and Nicholas knew it wasn’t good for him, but he knew
Lucas believed otherwise. That was just one of the many
things they couldn’t agree upon and it was one of the many,
many excuses Lucas used to push Nicholas away.

In the five years since Nicholas had returned to Cedar Point to
find the town had its first bookstore up and running, he had
been drawn to Lucas Keifer, the owner and operator of The
Haven. He had known with one look at the unbelievably
beautiful blond that something important, something possibly
life-changing would happen between them.

I still believe that, damn it. I still want Lucas. He just can’t get
that through his stubborn head.

Only eighteen when he left Cedar Point to join the military,
where he built a fifteen-year-long career, Nicholas had always
intended to return to his hometown. He loved the Army but it
was hard; he served his country proudly and would certainly
do so again, but he came to resent having to lie about
something he saw no shame in.

He was gay and he was comfortable with his sexuality, had
been since he was fifteen, but he couldn’t be open about that
in the Army, which prompted his decision to return to Cedar
Point in time to be named Sheriff when his uncle decided to
retire and move to Florida. He had since run in an election and

had won by a landslide because he was well-liked. The people
in and around Cedar Point knew him and he did his job well.

Most people had no issue with his orientation and those that

did learned to keep it to themselves, because his supporters
didn’t react well when one of their “homegrown kids” was
badmouthed.

It amused and touched him that he was loved and accepted,
and he knew that everyone in town, all of the locals, had the
same affection for Lucas, even if he was a transplant from
Atlanta.

Nicholas had learned from his cousin Lucy that Lucas had
been in Cedar Point for about three years before Nicholas
came home, but there wasn’t much personal information Lucy
or anyone else could really offer.

“He’s a few years younger than you, single, used to be a
teacher and he lives in an apartment above the bookstore. He’s
friendly, but somewhat reserved and from what I’ve seen, he
doesn’t date and not because he hasn’t been asked out
repeatedly by every openly gay male within the tri-county
area.”

Hearing that, Nicholas decided not to give in to his first desire
and ask Lucas out, which really was his second desire
because his first desire was to pull Lucas Keifer into his arms
and kiss him until they both blacked out.

Instead, he set out to become the man’s friend, which wasn’t
easy. Lucas was indeed reserved and not quick to trust, but
Nicholas wasn’t accustomed to giving up on what he wanted
and, eventually, he broke past Lucas’s first layer of defense.

Lucas didn’t open up to him immediately, but he did let his

walls down to an extent and as he did, it occurred to Nicholas
that Lucas was more than just a beautiful man; he was simply
an incredible person.

He was smart, had a great sense of humor, and a quick wit.
The friendship that developed between them was solid and real.

Four months after meeting Lucas Keifer, Nicholas knew he
was in love with him, but he also knew Lucas wasn’t ready to
deal with that. He held back for another six months, before he
began to drop hints about wanting very much to move their
friendship to the next level. He didn’t date anyone or even look
twice at another man. Lucas owned his thoughts, his heart.
He couldn’t sleep at night unless he jerked himself off while
imagining it was Lucas’s hands stroking and touching him
and, even then, he would awaken in the middle of the night
aroused by some intensely erotic dream involving the sexy
blond.

When they had known each other for a year, Lucas told him
kindly, but in a way that left no room for argument, that they
could never be more than just friends.

Finding out why took a little push from Nicholas.

“I used to live in Atlanta, as you know, and after college, I got a
job teaching at one of the high schools there, where a student
became obsessed with me.”

“What happened?”

“When it came to light that he had some issues, he was
expelled from school until he could get help. I even offered his
mother some money, to get him to a good doctor, but she
refused, and two weeks later, he was in the parking lot of my
building when I came home.”

“Lucas….”

“Long story short: He took me to an old warehouse and he…he
assaulted me, stabbed me, and when he thought I was dead,
he set me on fire.”

“God.”

“I managed to put out the flames and I crawled out to find help,
but the damage was already done. I have scars across my back
and down my left arm.”

“Lucas, scars are….”

“Hideous. My boyfriend at the time bolted. I don’t expect anyone
else to be different.”

Nicholas tried to argue. He did his best to make Lucas
understand that scars didn’t matter to him, but Lucas refused
to believe it and when Nicholas’s attempts to convince him
otherwise put a strain on their friendship, Nicholas forced
himself to back off.

For a while.

He still dropped his hints, still made it clear he was there,
ready and willing, but Lucas ignored those hints and even
went as far as to encourage Nicholas to date other people.

Their cat-and-mouse game went on for more than four years,
with Nicholas always backing off before he pushed too far, but
six months ago, his willingness to ignore the feelings that
existed between him and Lucas ended.

And Lucas himself was the reason why.

When Nicholas was injured in the line of duty, Lucas allowed
the nature of his real feelings to show, loud and clear.

The injury wasn’t overly serious—just a bullet to the shoulder
trying to break up a domestic dispute—but when Nicholas
came to in the hospital after surgery, Lucas was at his side,
holding his hand, worry consuming his beautiful blue eyes.

Later, Nicholas realized that Lucas likely thought the
painkillers in his system would make it impossible to clearly
recall anything that was said, but he was wrong.

Nicholas remembered perfectly the feel of Lucas’s soft lips
kissing the back of his hand.

“You have to be okay, Nic. I can’t…. I love you and I need you in
my life. Maybe I can’t have you in all the ways I want you, but
I…. God, I still need to have you close, to keep me sane, so don’t
you ever scare me like this again, please. I love you too much to
see you hurting. It kills me that I can’t tell you how much I love
you.”

He tried to say the words back, tried to tell Lucas right then
just how much he loved him, but the drugs pulled him back
under and he drifted back to sleep with Lucas at his side.

The next morning, his cousin was there when he opened his
eyes, but what Lucas had said still lingered in his mind. As
soon as the doctors released him, he went directly to the
bookstore, getting there just as Lucas was closing. Lucas was
surprised to see him and grateful he was okay, but the
emotions he had expressed the night before were again
carefully concealed, which didn’t come as a great surprise to
Nicholas.

But he wasn’t about to be pushed away. Not again; not when
he knew what Lucas really felt.

“Let it go, Nic.”

“The hell I will, Luc. I heard you say you love me. And you know
I love you….”

“It doesn’t matter what either of us feel. I can’t—I won’t—cross
that line.”

“Damn it! Don’t punish me because of what your asshole ex-
boyfriend did. It’s not fair.”

“Just leave me alone, Nic. I can’t give you what you want. Deal
with it and find someone else.”

In Lucas’s mind, it seemed as simple as that, but it wasn’t for
Nicholas. He knew who and what he wanted and nothing
could change that.

And he briefly tried.

After the last blowup with Lucas, he tried dating, but it didn’t
work.

Getting a date wasn’t the problem. Nic wasn’t arrogant by any
means, but he had heard he was good-looking often enough to
know it was true. He supposed he had his father to thank for
that; he had inherited Paris Demetris’s dark looks, a
testament to their Greek heritage, but his green eyes were the
one trait his mother had passed on before disappearing from
his life when he was three.

His years in their military had left his body honed, muscles
defined. At six-one he moved with a casual grace, or so his late
grandmother had often said, and he usually wore his dark hair
a little longish now that a military cut wasn’t a must.

He knew other men in town and in nearby towns were
interested in him, but none of them were Lucas. Lucas was the
only man Nicholas Demetris wanted.

His cousin had told him to fight for what he wanted, but at the
time, he had been too tired to keep fighting.

Now, however…. Now, Lucas needed him and he wasn’t about
to let Lucas deal with this mess all on his own. If Miller did
intend to come after Lucas, Nicholas intended to be there, to
place himself between the madman and the man he loved.

He was only slightly disturbed by the small part of him that
half-hoped he would get a chance to face Riley Miller.

The bastard should die for what he did to Lucas.

With that thought in mind, he looked at the file on his desk,
the one the Atlanta DA had sent to him and he had printed
out but never intended to allow anyone else to see. He knew
how private Lucas could be; it would upset him if others knew
what he had suffered. He would be upset enough knowing
Nicholas had read the details and, worse yet, seen the
disturbing crime-scene photographs as well as the
photographs taken in the hospital.

His chest tightened, thinking about those pictures, and he
decided again that no matter what, no matter how difficult
Lucas made it, he wouldn’t rest until Lucas understood how
much he loved him and wanted him in his life.

Lucas Keifer was it for him and somehow, he would make
Lucas see that.

A glance at his watch told him it was already after four. He
picked up the file, put it in his bottom desk drawer, and
locked it.

He had just enough time to go to his apartment, change, and
swing by the diner to get to Lucas’s around five.

We’re gonna talk, Luc, even if I have to kick down the damn
door and kiss you until you don’t have enough strength to argue
with me.

Smiling as he left his office, Nicholas had to admit that idea
had a certain merit.

Chapter Two

By the time Nicholas made it to Lucas’s, it was quarter after
five and to his surprise, when Nicholas knocked on the door,
Lucas called out, saying it was unlocked.

What the hell, Luc?

Juggling the takeout in one hand, he opened the door,
stepping into the apartment to find the lights were turned out,
but the curtains open, filling the room with fading light as the
sun moved down the horizon.

Sprawled out on the sofa with a half-empty bottle of scotch in
one hand, Lucas looked up at him with alcohol-clouded eyes.

“Luc, you shouldn’t be sitting here with the door unlocked.”

“What’s the worst that can happen?” His words didn’t quite
slur, but almost.

Deciding not to answer, because he was fairly certain Lucas
knew what the answer would be, Nicholas set the food on the
coffee table, went back to the door, and locked it. He didn’t
care if Lucas was in self-destruct mode; he wasn’t about to let
the man he loved fall apart or try and get himself killed. If he
had to kick Lucas’s ass to drive that point home, he would.

The door locked, he turned on two lamps and went to the
window, closing the blinds and then the curtains.

“What the hell?”

“Don’t be an ass, Luc. You know damn well what I’m doing.”

“Yeah, well, I don’t recall asking you to do it.”

“You wouldn’t, you stubborn bastard,” Nicholas snapped,
turning to face the other man, who hadn’t moved from his
perch on the sofa. “How much have you had to drink?”

Lucas shrugged, looking at the bottle he still gripped. “It was
full when I started.”

“Shit, Luc. You know you can’t drink like that.”

“No, I’ve never drunk like this before, but now seems like the
time to start.”

“You’re gonna have a hell of a headache later.”

“If I live long enough.”

Ignoring the comment, Nicholas pulled the bottle from Lucas,
placed it on the floor, and then set himself down on the edge of
the coffee table, trying to pull his thoughts and emotions
together. He knew Lucas was in a bad place emotionally and
he understood why, but he wasn’t about to sit around and let
him spiral down into a depression or put his life at risk.

“Listen, Luc.”

“You got a file from that DA, didn’t you?”

“Yeah. Yeah, he e-mailed it to me.”

“Which means you’ve read it so you know everything.”

“Luc….”

“Were there pictures?”

“Yes.” He couldn’t lie to him. He wouldn’t do that. “Luc, I want
you to listen to me.”

“So you know all of it now?” Standing, Lucas moved past him,
walking across the room to the window, reaching out to toy
with the curtain, but he didn’t open it. “I mean, I’m guessing

the file had a copy of the police report and my interview with
the police and even Miller’s now-null confession.”

Resisting the urge to get up and follow him, Nicholas stayed
where he sat. “All of that was in the file and, yeah, I read it
and saw all of it.”

“So you know what he did.”

“Luc, please.”

“You know he knocked me out, outside of my apartment, and

when I woke up I was in this small, smelly warehouse and I…I
tried to reason with him, but he was beyond the point where
anyone could reason with him.

“Well, you know what happened, don’t you? You know he
raped me. And he stabbed me.”

“Luc.”

“I was on my stomach, when he set me on fire, but you know
that, too. Doctors said I was lucky I only got burned on my
back and arm, but….” He laughed—a harsh, bitter bark of
laughter that echoed with tears he clearly refused to shed.
“Well, I guess you get it now, don’t you? I mean, after seeing
what I looked like, you can’t imagine wanting to be with me
and, hell, I certainly can’t blame you. Maybe this is all a good
thing: Riley getting out, it can finally open your eyes up to
what I am and why any desire you think you feel is a joke.”

Standing, Nicholas finally allowed himself to cross the room,
placing his hands on Lucas’s shoulders, not surprised when
Lucas tensed at his touch.

“Right now, you’re upset and somewhat drunk, so I won’t hold
anything you just said against you, Luc. What I’m about to tell
you, I will tell you again when you’re sober and, hopefully,
capable of being reasonable.”

“Nic….”

“I love you. I’ve loved you for nearly five years and nothing,
and I mean nothing, will change the fact that I love you.”

“You can’t say that.”

“I just said it, and what’s more, I mean it.”

He felt some of the tension fade from Lucas and he leaned
back against him slightly. Nicholas allowed his hands to slip
from his shoulders, to wrap around Lucas’s waist.

“I’m tired, Nic.”

“You should be, after half a bottle of scotch.”

“No, I mean I’m tired…. I’m just tired of the memories and
being alone.”

His heart clenched and he shut his eyes, pressing his face into
Lucas’s thick blond hair and inhaling deeply.

“Nic.”

“Food can wait. I think you need to get some sleep.”

“You plan on staying here, don’t you?”

“I’m camping out on the sofa tonight.”

Slowly, Lucas turned in his arms, but he didn’t make an effort
to pull back and Nicholas didn’t feel inclined to step away as
he looked into Lucas’s blue eyes, seeing a host of tangled
emotions there that broke his heart.

“Why do you keep fighting for me, Nic? I’m not worth it.”

“You are. You are worth more than you realize and I love you.”

For a moment, he thought Lucas was going to say those words
back to him, but instead, he took a step back and Nicholas
allowed his arms to fall.

“I should go to bed.”

“Luc….”

“I’ll see ya later. If you’re here, I mean.”

He turned, moving down the short hall to his room. Nicholas
sighed as he watched the man he loved retreat not only
physically but emotionally.

“I’ll be here, Luc. Get used to that, because I’m not gonna be
pushed away again.”

“Nic….”

“Shhh. No talking, remember? This is all about feeling.”

Any thought to protest died quickly, as Nicholas’s lips claimed
his and Lucas arched into the kiss, opening his mouth and
whimpering when Nicholas’s tongue touched his teasingly. He
could feel a jolt of heat run from his mouth right to his already
aching cock that silently begged for release. Everything in the
world, everything around them faded and Lucas didn’t want
the onslaught of emotions to end as he tangled one hand in
Nicholas’s dark hair, savoring the way the silky stands
wrapped around his fingers.

Twisting beneath the man he wanted more than he wanted his
next breath, Lucas spread his legs more, lifting his hips to press
his erection against Nicholas, wanting the other man to
understand how much he wanted him, how much he needed
him.

“Nic….”

“Tell me, Luc. Tell me what you want.”

Gasping at the feel of Nicholas’s mouth latching to the sensitive
patch beneath his ear, Lucas thought he would fly apart.

He had never felt so alive; he had never felt so wanted.

“You. I want you, Nic. I’ve always wanted you.”

The admission felt almost freeing and Lucas wanted, needed,

even more, but as he basked in that feeling of freedom,
something around him seemed to shift. The feelings of love and
desire faded and suddenly, he was cold and afraid as he
opened his eyes to find Nicholas was gone.

Instead, Riley Miller lingered above him, smiling sickly.

“Don’t worry. I’ll give you just what you have coming to you, Luc.
And you had better enjoy it, ’cause no one else wants to touch
you.”

Choking back a scream, Lucas sat up in bed, blinking as his
eyes adjusted. He realized he was safe. He was in his room
and he was alone.

Raking a hand through his sweat-dampened hair, he cursed
under his breath, knowing he needed to get his emotions
quickly in check. Nicholas was still sitting in his living room
and he didn’t want to seem upset when he faced him. He
didn’t want Nicholas to have more cause to pity him, because
pity was the last thing he wanted from Nicholas Demetris.

But what I do want, I can’t have. And I can’t forget that.

The dream he just had was a painful reminder that, no matter
what, he could never give in to his feelings for Nicholas.

Pushing himself from the bed, he slipped into the bathroom
where he washed his face and gave himself a moment longer to
pull himself together, before going into the living room to find
Nicholas on the sofa, watching television.

He had shed his shirt and shoes and he wore only jeans and
socks. His hair was a mess and he looked like a wet dream
come to life.

Shit!

Nicholas looked up at him, half-smiling. “Feel better?”

“I have a headache.”

“Really? Who knew half a bottle of scotch would do that to a
guy.”

Rolling his eyes at the obvious sarcasm, Lucas sat down on
the far end of the sofa, looking at the television.

“What are you watching?” It seemed like a nice, safe topic.

“Braves game just ended.”

“They win?”

“Lost six to four.”

Lucas nodded as Nicholas shifted to face him and Lucas
sighed, knowing they were going to have a serious
conversation, if he wanted it or not.

Don’t make an ass of yourself, Luc.

“Have you ever been to Hawaii?”

Thrown by the question, Lucas looked from the television to
the man sitting beside him. It was a challenge to make eye
contact when Nicholas’s bare chest was just inches from him
and his hand itched to touch the smooth, olive skin.

I bet he tastes wonderful. Salty and sweet. And his nipples…. I
want to suck them ’til he screams.

Shaking the thought from his mind, Lucas forced himself to
focus on the question Nicholas had asked, but the way
Nicholas smirked at him made Lucas wonder if he had
somehow been projecting his sexually hungry thoughts.

“Hawaii, Luc? Have you ever been?”

“No. No, I haven’t. Why?”

“We should go.”

He shook his head again. “Go….”

“I went there for two weeks about eight years ago. It’s beautiful.
I’d love to take you there.”

“Nic….”

“We should rent a beach house with a private beach.”

“I don’t….”

“I’d love to fuck you on the beach, Luc. Surrounded by white
sand and blue water.”

Shifting for the sake of comfort as his cock swelled in his jeans,
Lucas told himself to stand, to move, to get away from
Nicholas and the image he was painting, but it seemed he
didn’t have enough blood flow to his brain to follow that
command.

“Think about it, Luc. The sound of the waves, the feel of the
sun. And you riding me.”

“Nic, please.”

“Oh, I like the sound of that. You breathless. Saying my
name.”

Closing his eyes, Lucas prayed for strength, but he was pretty
certain no one was listening to his prayers when he felt

Nicholas’s hand in his hair, moving slowly and sensually,
drawing a moan from Lucas’s parted lips.

“Five years, Luc. Five long years I’ve wanted you.”

“Don’t….” He forced his eyes open to see Nicholas closer to
him, just inches away.

“I know you aren’t ready yet, but you will be soon. Very soon, I
think.”

“I can’t do this. You know that.”

“I know you want me. I know you love me. I know those
feelings are mutual.”

Lucas shook his head, but said nothing. He didn’t have the
strength to say words they both knew to be a lie as Nicholas
slipped from the sofa. Lucas watched with desire-filled eyes as
Nicholas easily pushed Lucas’s legs apart and arranged
himself between them.

“I know you don’t want me to see you, Luc, but I intend to
change your mind about that really soon, so get ready.”

“What…what are you doing?”

“Me? Oh, I’m going to suck your cock, Luc.”

Teasingly, Nicholas brushed his hand over the front of Lucas’s
jeans and Lucas hissed, which made Nicholas smile.

“Looks like you need some relief. Lucky for you, I’m good at
this.”

Licking his lips, unable to deny that he was painfully aroused,
especially by the sight of Nicholas kneeling between his hips,
Lucas realized vaguely that he wanted this and he was sick of
denying himself what he wanted.

He didn’t believe for a second that he and Nicholas could have
a real relationship, but maybe there wasn’t any harm in
having this.

God help me, I want his touch. Just this once at least. I need it. I
need a real memory of him.

Mesmerized, he watched Nicholas’s graceful fingers move to
unbutton and then unzip his jeans. Of their own accord,
Lucas’s hips lifted from the sofa, allowing Nicholas the
freedom to tug the jeans down his hips.

He heard himself gasp when the cool air in the apartment hit
his cock.

“And there it is.”

“Nic….”

“I’ve dreamed about this, Luc, but I got to tell you,” he shook
his head, “the real thing is by far better than anything I
imagined, and trust me when I tell you I have a very vivid
imagination.” He placed his hands on Lucas’s knees, gently
pushing them farther apart, and Lucas sucked in a breath as
Nicholas teasingly trailed fingers up the inside of his nearly
quivering thighs.

Fairly certain his heart was determined to beat its way out of
his chest, Lucas could only watch, as Nicholas looked up with
a smile that was sinful.

Oh God….

Speechless, he watched as Nicholas lifted one hand, turning
slightly, to pluck a piece of ice from a glass that sat on the
coffee table.

“Nic.”

“Trust me?”

“Of course.”

That earned him a real smile and Lucas realized just how
much weight those two words carried, as Nicholas sucked the
piece of ice into his mouth. Lucas stared at his mouth, at
those full, sensual lips, and he died a little inside because he
knew that if they did this, if Nic sucked him off, there would be
no going back.

Once this line was crossed, he would never be able to reclaim
his heart.

Dumbass, you’ve already lost your heart, so why stop now?

Knowing there was a logical answer to that question, but
unable to recall what it might be, Lucas lost all train of
thought as Nicholas pulled the ice from his mouth before
leaning down to press open-mouthed kisses along the inside of
Lucas’s thigh.

A strangled cry escaped him and he shivered from head to toe.

“Oh, Nic.”

“What, Luc? You don’t like that?”

The answer, though Lucas wasn’t certain he’d have been able
to offer a coherent one, died in his throat when Nicholas
teasingly nipped at the place he had just kissed.

“You taste good. So very, very good, Luc. I’ve never tasted
anything better.”

Moaning, he opened his eyes in time to see Nicholas lean
closer and lick his shaft from base to tip. Lucas tangled his
hands in the sofa cushions as best he could.

Head falling back, his eyes closed again, the sensations were
almost too much. It had been years since anyone had touched
him like that, years since he had known any touch other than
that of his own hand. This, Nicholas’s touching him, was a

dream come true and Lucas didn’t want it to end, even if he
did have to deal with a broken heart when all was said and
done.

“Like candy. Only better.”

He shivered when Nicholas licked him again and cried out
when the man he loved sucked one ball deep into his mouth,
licking and teasing, sucking, rendering Lucas a mass of
quivering nerves before he turned his attention to the other
straining ball.

Gasping for air, Lucas arched his hips, silently begging for
more.

“Open your eyes, Luc. Open your eyes and look at me. Watch
me suck you off.”

It required serious effort, but he slowly forced open his eyes,
looking at Nicholas, who smiled, clearly enjoying having Lucas
so completely out of sorts.

“Nic….”

“I want you to watch me. Look at me. Know it’s me and know I
love you.”

I love you, too. I’ve loved you for so long. I will always love you.

He didn’t say the words—he couldn’t—but he did nod, to let
Nicholas know he would do as he had asked and Nicholas
smiled again.

He’s beautiful. So damn beautiful. He doesn’t know what it’s
like not to be perfect.

“Nic.”

“You’re starting to think too much, darlin’, and that’s not
allowed.”

Before he could respond to that, Nicholas slipped a hand
beneath him to cup his balls with gently massaging fingers
and Lucas ceased to think about anything but the pleasure,
the incredible, mind-shattering pleasure that consumed not
only his body, but his world.

As the sensations washed over him, they suddenly became
more intense as Nicholas again licked his cock before
wrapping his lips around the pulsing shaft and sucking him
deep into the wonderfully warm wet heat of his mouth.

“Oh God. Oh, Nic….”

Tangling a hand in thick, black hair, he watched, fascinated,
insanely aroused by the sight of Nicholas’s lips wrapped
around his cock, sliding up and down, licking and sucking,
pulling off once to blow a breath over the wet, aching skin.

“So very, very good, Luc. Now I want you to come for me.”

His mouth descended again, the hand that played with his
balls becoming slightly more aggressive, adding to the building
tension as he sucked Lucas harder, faster, licking and
swallowing, to take him even deeper.

“Nic!”

Hearing his voice cry out, Lucas hardly recognized the sound
as his body tensed and then, with another cry, a nonverbal
near-scream, he came hard and fast and Nicholas stayed with
him the entire time, even licking his cock clean.

Hand falling from Nicholas’s hair as he panted, trying to catch
his breath, his eyes closed again, until he felt Nicholas tug the
jeans away completely and toss them aside.

“Come on, baby. You need to sleep.”

“No. I need…you.”

Nicholas smiled, dropping a kiss on his forehead. “We’ll
consider this as you owe me one, okay?”

Lucas opened his eyes, watching Nicholas pick up the remote
and click off the television, before he crawled back onto the
sofa to easily pull a drowsy Lucas into his arms.

“Nic….”

“Sleep. We’ll talk tomorrow. For tonight, let me hold you.”

There was something in the request, something almost

pleading, and Lucas nodded, melting into strong arms as
Nicholas laid down with Lucas half on top of him.

Reaching for a quilt at the end of the sofa, Nicholas covered
them both against the chill and Lucas sighed, feeling tender
lips kiss his forehead again.

You just fell even deeper, Lucas, and you’ll pay for it later.

He knew, of course, that was true, but for the moment, as
Nicholas reached back and turned out the light, Lucas decided
he didn’t care about the possible consequences.

He would worry about those later.

For now, sated, body still humming with pleasure, he was
content to fall asleep wrapped in the arms of the man he loved.

Chapter Three

When Nicholas awakened the next morning, he was alone on
the sofa, but listening for a moment, he could hear the faint
sounds of Lucas in the shower. He was half-tempted to join
him, but he knew that action would be pushing too quickly.

But last night…. He smiled as he lay there, recalling how it
had felt to watch Lucas come undone at his touch. It was a
sight even more beautiful than he had imagined. He wanted to
see it again and somehow, he knew he would, but Nicholas
had no doubt that this morning, Lucas would retreat back to
his emotional safe place because that was what Lucas
naturally did any time they got too close.

That game is going to end soon, because he loves me as much
as I love him.

Pushing himself from the sofa, Nicholas wandered into the
kitchen, where he happily poured himself a cup of coffee and
drank it while leaning against the counter.

As much as he wanted to spend the rest of the day plotting
ways to seduce Lucas, he knew he had to switch gears and
think like a cop. If Miller had plans to come after Lucas,
Nicholas wanted him to be protected, but he knew he would
have an argument on his hands. Lucas would insist he didn’t
need a babysitter and while Nicholas agreed with that, he did
intend to have one of his men near or inside the bookstore
during business hours and at night he would be with Lucas
himself.

Lucas would likely argue that as well, but Nicholas didn’t care.

He wasn’t about to stand idly by and allow anyone to hurt the
man he loved.

Pulled from his thoughts by the sudden ringing of his cell
phone, Nicholas set aside his coffee and quickly answered the
call.

Recognizing his deputy’s voice, he listened to what the other
man had to say, looking up when he heard Lucas walk into
the kitchen.

He wore jeans and a long-sleeved black T-shirt and his hair
was still damp from his shower.

Nicholas wanted to hang up the phone and pick up where they
had left off the night before, but that wasn’t an option for a
host of reasons.

“I’ll be there in fifteen minutes at the most.”

Ending the call, he shoved the phone back into his pocket,
watching as Lucas poured himself a cup of coffee.

“Problem?”

“The usual shit. Mark and Barbara Delray are fighting again
and she’s having him arrested.”

“The usual indeed.” Lucas smiled.

“Are you running late?”

He shook his head, leaning against the counter, as Nicholas
had. “Sasha is opening today.”

“Ah. And what color hair does the lovely Sasha have this
week?”

“Neon orange. I’m actually surprised you haven’t gotten calls
about her blinding drivers when she walks down the street.”

Nicholas laughed, but he knew Lucas cared a great deal for
the young woman who had worked for him for the past two
years.

At twenty-two, Sasha was a transplant from New York and one
of a kind in Cedar Point with her ever-changing hair, countless
tattoos, and nose ring.

Of course she was bright, wonderful with the customers, and
loyal to Lucas and for that last fact alone, Nicholas admired
her.

“Listen, Nic, I….”

“Before you say anything, Luc, there’s something I need to do.”

Crossing the distance between them in two easy strides,
Nicholas plucked the coffee cup from Lucas’s hands and set it
on the counter.

“Nic.”

“Good morning, Lucas.”

Gathering the other man into his arms, Nicholas claimed his
lips, locking his arms around Lucas’s waist as his tongue
pushed eagerly into his warm, welcoming mouth.

He tasted like coffee and mint toothpaste but there was
something else there, something sweet and seductive that was
all Lucas and Nicholas loved it.

Pulling back from the kiss, he smiled at the obvious desire in
Lucas’s eyes.

“You know, I have all sorts of fantasies about you, Luc.”

“We should….”

“My favorite involves you and me in my office, with me bending
you over my desk and sinking so deep inside you, it’s near
impossible to tell where I end and you begin.”

He smiled, watching as Lucas closed his eyes, leaning against
him. Nicholas slipped his hands to Lucas’s ass and squeezed,
drawing a gasp.

“Nic, we can’t do this.”

“Ah, but we’re already doing it.”

Lucas opened his eyes. “The way you look at me….” The
whispered words faded, but Nicholas wasn’t about to leave it
at that.

“The way I look at you…what?”

“The way you look at me is…. God, I love the way you look at
me and it might be selfish, but I don’t want that to stop, Nic.”

“Luc….”

“And I know if you see me, it will.”

“You don’t know that. I love you and….” He shook his head.
“I’m not him.” Ridge “Fucking” Dallas, the bastard Lucas had
been dating when he was attacked. Nicholas had never met
the man, but he hated him with a passion.

If I ever see him face-to-face, I’m knocking his teeth down his
throat.

He felt Lucas pull away emotionally, even before he stepped
from Nicholas’s arms and Nicholas let go of him, because he
didn’t want him to feel cornered or pressured.

“I know you’re not him. You’re a better man than Ridge could
ever hope to be.”

“But I still get judged by what he did.”

“I’m not judging you, Nic. I’m being realistic.”

“No, you’re acting out of fear, Luc, and I understand that, but
I’m not giving up because I love you and I know we can be
happy together if you will give us a real chance.”

Six hours after his release, Riley Miller was in Cedar Point, his
dark hair cut and dyed blond but still concealed beneath a
baseball cap while dark sunglasses covered his eyes. The
driver’s license in his wallet listed his name as Kip Coleson.

He had a thousand dollars in his pocket, all that was left of
the two grand his mother had sent to him via his lawyer.

Five hundred had gone for the battered used car and another
five for his fake driver’s license and a fake social security
number.

It was money well-spent, in Riley’s mind, as he sat parked
across the street from The Haven, the bookstore Lucas Keifer
owned. He had yet to see the man he had come here to kill,
but he had seen two uniformed police officers and a young girl
with hideous orange hair moving around inside, dealing with a
host of customers.

It seemed Lucas had built a nice little life for himself, but it
would end soon.

But not before we have some serious fun.

He shifted in the driver’s seat, feeling his cock swell, just
thinking about what he had in mind for the pretty blond. He
had spent years dreaming about this and he intended to enjoy
it. After ten years in hell, he was ready to make those dreams
come true and he wasn’t going to do anything that Lucas
didn’t deserve for leading him on and lying to him.

He had been ready to give his heart to Lucas, but Lucas had
thrown it back in his face.

He just thinks he suffered, but he has no idea what’s coming.

No one could use and lie to people the way Lucas did and get
away with it. Riley had already made up his mind that anyone
who stood between him and Lucas would die along with him.

That thought in mind, he sat up further, watching with
surprised delight as Lucas suddenly stepped outside the
bookstore.

He looked good, Riley realized. Damn good. His blond hair
looked golden in the sunlight.

Won’t be so pretty when it’s splattered with blood.

Smirking, he watched as Lucas stood on the sidewalk, looking

up and down the street, but Riley was certain he didn’t notice
him behind his darkly tinted windows.

Just as Lucas turned to walk back inside his business, both
he and Riley heard someone calling his name. Tensing, Riley
watched a tall man with thick black hair jog quickly across the
street, to stand beside Lucas.

A fucking cop! He’s talking to a fucking cop!

Hands gripping the steering wheel, Riley felt the anger boiling,
because just looking at the way the man reached out and
gently touched Lucas’s shoulder told Riley he knew Lucas
intimately. And he could sense that Lucas trusted him, even
as he shook his head at something the man said, only to
finally sigh and nod.

Son of a bitch! Someone wants him? He has someone! How can
he? He’s mine!

Driven by pure rage, Riley cranked the car, knowing he had to
send a message to Lucas here and now, and he knew just how
to do it.

Hearing the unmistakable voice calling his name, Lucas
turned to watch Nicholas jogging across the street and
couldn’t help but smile.

He was fairly certain he had never seen anything as sexy as
Nicholas in uniform.

Well, he was pretty damn sexy last night, with his lips wrapped
around my cock.

Annoyed with himself for recalling that image and annoyed
with the way he grew instantly hard at the memory, Lucas
cursed himself and Nicholas. He was trying damn hard to do
the right thing for both of them, but it seemed Nicholas
wanted to fight him on that every step of the way. Lucas was
really beginning to wonder how much longer he could resist
what Nicholas was offering.

How he had resisted for five years, he wasn’t sure.

Use common sense, Luc.

Trying to hold that thought in mind, he still felt his heart race
when Nicholas reached his side. He looked up into vivid green
eyes that were filled with worry, but beyond the worry, Lucas
could clearly see how much Nicholas loved him.

“How’s it going?”

“Great. Busy day, but that’s a good thing.”

“You know what I mean, Luc.” Nicholas lowered his voice.
“Seen anything unusual?”

“Aside from Sasha’s hair?”

“Luc….”

“Nothing unusual, Nic. I swear. And considering how your
deputies keep stopping in….”

In answer, Nicholas shrugged casually and, clearly,
unapologetically. “The guys like to read.”

“Right.”

“Come on, darlin’. You know I plan on keeping an eye on you.”
He took a small step closer and Lucas felt his heart kick in his
chest again. “If given a chance, I’d like to be keeping a hand,
or better yet, both hands on you.”

“Nic….”

“I’ll be at your place again tonight.”

Lucas shook his head. “No. I don’t think that’s necessary.”

“I do.”

“I know you’re worried and I appreciate that, but there’s a
good chance Miller won’t come after me, so you don’t have to
babysit me.”

“I’m not babysitting you. And tell me the truth, Luc. Do you
really believe he won’t make a move against you?”

He wanted to say no, that he didn’t believe he might be in
danger, but he couldn’t, and about this, he couldn’t bring
himself to lie to Nicholas.

“I think there’s a chance he will come after me. He said he
would.”

Nicholas frowned at that. “When did he say that?”

“A year after he was put in prison, he sent a letter to me,
saying if he ever got out, he would make me pay.” He looked
away from Nicholas, wondering why he had shared that when
he knew damn good and well that the information would only
support Nicholas’s concerns. “I gave the letter to the DA and
he made certain Miller couldn’t contact me again.” But the
impression had still been made and now, the fear was alive

again. Lucas hated that, hated feeling vulnerable, but he
struggled not to show it as Nicholas touched his shoulder and
Lucas looked at him again.

If Nicholas had chosen that moment to pull him into his arms,
Lucas wouldn’t have been able to resist him, standing in the
middle of town or not.

“He won’t get to you, Luc.”

“You don’t have to….”

“I want to, because I love you, and I won’t let that bastard take
you away from me.”

Half-smiling, Lucas shook his head. “Sasha is already dying
for details after seeing you leave my place this morning.”

“Did you tell her about the incredible blow job?”

“No, I didn’t.

“Not the kind to kiss and tell?” Nicholas grinned and Lucas
had to smile back.

“Not really. Besides, Sasha has an active imagination, so she
can fill in the blanks for herself.”

Nicholas leaned close and Lucas shivered at the feel of warm
breath against his neck. “You like chocolate, don’t you, Luc?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I do.”

“Good.”

“Why do you ask?” Desire fluttered in his stomach as Nicholas
pulled back and Lucas wanted to whimper.

“You’ll see. Tonight.”

“Nic….”

“Got to run, gorgeous.”

Shaking his head, Lucas smiled as Nicholas turned, glancing
over his shoulder with a quick wave as he crossed the read.

I love you, Nic.

He nearly called out the words, but stopped himself as a
movement to his left caught his attention. He saw an
unfamiliar brown car suddenly speeding down the street and
panic seized him, as he realized the car seemed to be aiming
itself at Nicholas.

“Nic! Watch out!”

Heart falling to his stomach, Lucas watched as Nicholas saw
the car just in time to make a wild dive to the other side of the
narrow street, landing hard on the sidewalk as the car sped on
by and turned left at the first side road it came to.

Rushing across the street, Lucas dropped to his knees at
Nicholas’s side.

“Nic? Nic, can you hear me? Are you okay?”

Wincing as he pushed himself so he could at least sit up,
Lucas could see he had a bleeding gash on the side of his head
and he favored his right arm.

“I’m okay. Nothing serious.”

The words were slurred and sluggish and Lucas felt something
inside of him shatter, when Nicholas slumped forward,
unconscious in his arms.

Chapter Four

Three hours later Nicholas was sitting in a hospital bed,
feeling woozy, but assured by the doctor on call that he would
be fine.

He had a mild concussion, the cut along his hairline required
seven stitches, and the fall had dislocated his shoulder, but
the doctor had easily reset it. He was, according to the doctor,
lucky, but he didn’t need anyone to tell him as much, though
it was obvious to him that Lucas was still on edge as he paced
the length of the hospital room.

The car that had nearly hit him had already been found,
abandoned just outside of town. Inside the car they found a
letter, written to Riley Miller by a former cellmate, and it was
obvious from the nature of the letter that Miller had paid the
man to find information on Lucas.

And he had.

He knew where Lucas lived and about the business he ran,
and now, there was no question that he intended to come after
Lucas.

“Luc, sit down. Please. I’m fine.”

“You’re lucky. You could have….” He paused at the foot of the
bed, words fading, but Nicholas knew what he was thinking.

“You saved my life.”

“It’s because of me your life is in danger.”

Nicholas sighed and shook his head, then winced and Lucas
noticed it.

“Are you in pain? Should I call for the nurse?”

“Any pain is mild, and no, you shouldn’t call for the nurse.
You should come over here and sit down so I can hold your
hand and tell you I love you.”

Smiling as Lucas did as he asked, Nicholas reached for his
hand and held it.

“I love you, Luc.”

“I love you too, Nic.”

The words came so easily from him that Nicholas had to smile

again, as he lifted Lucas’s hand to his lips and kissed it. He
had to swallow past the lump of emotions in his throat. Even if
he knew what Lucas felt for him, hearing him actually say it
never failed to touch his heart and soul and he prayed a day
would come when Lucas would say those words often and
freely.

“But regardless of what I feel….”

“We aren’t doing this thing, where you push me away.”

“It’s easier to push than to watch you leave.” Lucas whispered
and Nicholas ached inside.

“Nothing could make me leave, Luc. Let me in and find that
out.”

“It’s not that easy.”

Lucas looked down at their locked hands and Nicholas wanted
nothing more than to pull him into his arms and kiss him. He
knew when Lucas felt exposed or vulnerable his first reaction
was to turn and run, but the fact that he was still here, still at
his side, told Nicholas that maybe, just maybe, Lucas was
tired of running.

“Do you know where Ridge is now?”

Obviously surprised by the question, Lucas looked up.
“What?”

“I was just wondering if you knew where to find him.”

“Why would you want to find him?”

“Well, I’d like to beat the shit out of him for hurting you, and

when I’m done beating him, I plan on telling him that he never
deserved you.”

That earned him a half-smile. “Nic….”

“I really hate the guy. I hate that what he did makes it so hard
for you to trust me.”

“He couldn’t handle my recovery and what he knew I would
look like.”

“Which means he’s a self-centered, superficial asshole.”

“I know you think I punish you for what he did, Nic, but that
isn’t the case. I mean, it hurt, when Ridge walked away like he
did, but I didn’t feel for Ridge what I feel for you, so losing
him….” He shook his head. “That pain wouldn’t compare to
the pain I would feel if you finally saw me and realized you
can’t stand what I look like.”

“Luc….”

“I see the love in your eyes, and I see how much you want me,
and I am terrified that if you see my scars, you will find them
repulsive and that will be it, and the thing is, if you did find
them repulsive I wouldn’t be able to blame you.”

“Why are you so sure I would be repulsed?”

“Because I am,” he answered simply and honestly.

“Why?”

“Because they’re hideous.”

Nicholas bit the inside of his lip, knowing he was about to
push, but Lucas was being very open at the moment and it
seemed this might be a good time to really get to the heart of a
few issues once and for all because Lucas needed to do that.

He’s held too much inside for too long. He has to let it out.

“Is it that, or do you hate them because they remind you of
what happened?”

“I don’t need anything to remind me of what happened,” he
snapped.

“Luc….”

“But yeah. It’s a physical reminder. And I can’t escape it.”

“And you think if I see the scars, I’ll just see you as a victim?”

“Wouldn’t you?”

“No. Never. God, Luc, you aren’t a victim. You’re a survivor.”

He shook his head. “I’m not….”

“You faced nothing short of hell, baby. And you survived it. I
thank God for that, and you want to know something else? I
admire you for picking up the pieces and putting your life
back together and I,” he reached out, knuckles caressing
Lucas’s cheek, “I love you, Luc, and seeing your scars won’t
change that. Even if it takes me another five years, another
fifty years, I will prove that to you and I will make you realize
that we are meant to be together.”

He watched Lucas drop his eyes to their still-locked hands and
swallow hard. “That’s really a big promise there.”

“I’m good at keeping my promises.”

“I don’t doubt that.”

“For instance, I asked you earlier if you liked chocolate.”

Lucas’s eyes came back to his, wide and curious. “You did ask
that.”

“Well, I had a reason.”

“What was that?”

“Oh, I plan to cover every inch of you with chocolate sauce and
slowly take my time licking it off.” Just mentally painting the
image had his cock throbbing and he watched as a slight gasp
escaped Lucas’s parted lips. “You like the idea of that, don’t
you? My tongue licking you slowly, teasingly, until I have you

begging for more, begging me to fuck you.” He could see color
rising to Lucas’s cheeks and his breath hitched. Nicholas
knew he was being just a little cruel, considering he currently
wasn’t in any position to follow through with his intentions.

Soon. Damn soon. He needs it and so do I.

The hand caressing Lucas’s cheek slipped behind his neck to
play with his hair and Lucas moaned at the touch.

“I have all sorts of fantasies about you and me, baby, and all
sorts of games I want to play.”

“You do?”

“I’ll tell you more of them. Later. Maybe when I can do
something about them.”

Lucas nodded, watching him closely for a moment, before he
stood suddenly and crossed the room, where he locked the
door.

“Luc, what are you doing?”

“Returning a favor.”

Nicholas frowned, not certain what that meant, as Lucas
returned to the bed. But before he could ask, Lucas leaned
down and teasingly kissed him. Nicholas instantly reached to
tangle a hand in the silky blond hair.

It was the first time Lucas had ever initiated a kiss and it was
incredible.

When he pulled back, he smiled and Nicholas licked his lips,
wanting to pull Lucas back to him, but Lucas stepped back
slightly.

“Luc….”

“It’s been a while, so I might not be as good at this as you.”

Nicholas’s eyes widened as Lucas reached for the covers and
pulled them back and Nicholas felt his heart kick against his
chest.

“You…you don’t have to do this. I mean, I want you to. God, I
want you to, but you….”

“Don’t have to.” Lucas smiled. “But I want to. If that’s okay
with you.”

“Are you kidding? Of course it’s okay.”

“Good to know.”

Lucas smiled again, slowly, sensually, and Nicholas wondered
if a person could come just watching the man he loved smile.

Shifting a little, he watched as Lucas crawled onto the bed,
straddling his legs, careful hands reaching for the hem of the
barely-there, paper-thin hospital gown.

“As you said last night, there it is.”

Biting back a groan as his rigid cock was revealed, he focused

on Lucas, watching Lucas’s reactions, becoming more and

more aroused as he did. He couldn’t believe this was actually
happening. He briefly wondered if it was just a dream, a
wonderfully vivid dream, and he prayed with all his might that
it wasn’t.

He’s about to touch me. Finally.

“Luc….”

“No talking. Just enjoy this. I know I will.”

Those words alone were nearly his undoing and he couldn’t
bite back his strangled cry as Lucas leaned down and slowly
ran his tongue along the base of Nicholas’s straining shaft.
Nicholas tangled one hand in the sheets.

One touch, and he was ready to fall apart.

Clearly sensing the impact his touch had, Lucas moved one
hand to cup Nicholas’s balls while slowly sliding the length of
Nicholas’s cock into his mouth.

Surrounded by warm, wet heat, feeling Lucas’s tongue began
to lick and swirl as he slid his lips up and down, sucking and
licking, Nicholas clenched his eyes shut, wanting the moment
to last, but it had been so long since he had been touched by
anyone other than himself.

And this was Lucas. His Lucas was touching him, sucking him
off.

“Luc…. Oh, Luc, I’m…come….”

Head thrown back, he cried out as his body convulsed in
pleasure and he spilled into Lucas’s incredible mouth.

Body humming, it was several minutes before he came back to
himself, to realize Lucas had pulled the gown back into place,
but still straddled him, red lips curved into a smile.

“Christ….”

“Enjoy that?”

“Enjoy is one word for it.”

Lucas slipped from the bed and crossed the room to unlock
the door, before moving back to the side of the bed.

“I’ve never had a fantasy about us in a hospital bed, but
damn….” He shook his head with a grin.

“Yeah, well, you’ve been in a hospital bed too many times
during the past six months, so don’t start developing some
strange fetish.”

“Okay, forget hospital beds, love. Any bed will do.”

“Nic.”

He knew Lucas was starting to think too much, but he was
determined to stop him before he could do one of his
emotional disappearing acts.

“For now, this bed is big enough for two, so what’s say you
curl up beside me and we take a nice little nap.”

“I guess I could do that.”

“Good.”

Carefully scooting over, he made room for Lucas, who
stretched out beside him, and Nicholas leaned in for a quick
kiss.

“I love you, Luc,” he whispered, falling into beautiful blue eyes
as Lucas smiled at him.

“I love you, too, Nic. I always have.”

Tugging Lucas closer, Nicholas held him tight, swearing to
himself that, no matter what, come hell or high water he
wouldn’t ever let go.

Chapter Five

He couldn’t believe he had been so damn stupid, trying to kill
the fucking cop in broad daylight, with witnesses milling
around.

After all his careful, organized planning, he had put himself
and everything at risk because he hadn’t been able to control
his emotions. Seeing Lucas with another man had been too
much and it really wasn’t fair.

Lucas was supposed to be alone; Lucas wasn’t supposed to be
happy.

Bastard will pay for that. Wait and see. I’ll kill his lover in front
of him after I make him watch me make Lucas mine again.

Somewhat comforted by the thought, he sat alone in the dark,
not willing to turn on the lights in the small hunting shack he
had broken into. He didn’t want to do anything to draw
attention to his hideout while he laid low for a bit and plotted
his next move. He knew he was lucky he had found a place
that offered food and no nosy neighbors. He really didn’t want
to kill anyone but Lucas and his stupid lover, but if anyone
forced his hand, Riley was willing to end more lives.

Sitting on the sofa, wrapped in a blanket he had found to ward
off the chill, he tried to calm himself, tried to reason that all
was not lost.

He would just sit tight for a day or two and then make his
move.

Lucas will be expecting me now, but that’s okay. He’ll think his
cop boyfriend will keep him all safe, but I’ll show him. I’ll show
both of them.

But first, a smile came to him and he decided maybe he hadn’t
messed up so bad after all.

Maybe he could play a little cat-and-mouse game with Lucas,
just to add to his torment, keep him on edge and afraid.

Thinking about the prepaid cell phone he had stolen, Riley
decided to do just that.

Tomorrow, I’ll place a little call to Lucas, just to say hello and
ask how his lover boy is doing.

Stretching out, he closed his eyes, certain his dreams would
be deliciously sweet.

“Luc, you don’t have to babysit me.”

“Funny, but I recall saying something similar to you recently.”

Nicholas scowled, but Lucas laughed as he stood beside the
sofa in his apartment, looking Nicholas over carefully,
wondering if the doctors had released him a little too soon.
Maybe another day in the hospital would have been a good
idea. He did have a concussion, after all, and the area around
the bandaged gash on his forehead was discolored, but he
insisted his shoulder didn’t hurt that much and the doctor
assured Lucas there would be no lasting damage.

“Does Sasha mind running everything herself today?” Nicholas
asked, pulling Lucas from his concerns, and he smiled.

“Are you kidding? She told me to get up here, lock the door,
and rock the bed.”

“You know, I love the way that girl thinks.”

Lucas rolled his eyes. “Please, don’t encourage her.”

“How about I encourage you instead?” He patted the spot
beside him on the sofa. “Come on. Sit down with me. I promise,

I won’t bite. Unless, of course, you want me to, in which case,
all you have to do is say the word.”

“Nic.”

“I’m teasing. No pushing, I swear it.”

“I know. I trust you.”

At that, Nicholas held out a hand and Lucas accepted it,
allowing Nicholas to pull him down beside him, wrapping an
arm gently around his shoulder. “This okay?” He turned his
head, nuzzling the side of Lucas’s neck as he asked and Lucas
moaned and nodded.

“Really okay.”

“Good.”

Another moan escaped him when Nicholas began teasingly
kissing his neck and Lucas dropped his head, allowing more
access as his eyes closed.

Trying to form a rational thought around the pleasure, he
placed his hand, palm open, on Nicholas’s muscular thigh, his
fingers gripping when Nicholas nipped at his ear.

“Nic, I…I’ve been…been thinking….”

“And there’s the problem, babe. You think way too much.”

“I’m being serious.”

“So am I.”

Nicholas began trailing light kisses downward toward his
collarbone and Lucas shifted, the pressure against his jeans
becoming decidedly uncomfortable.

“I’m trying to tell you I thought about what you said last
night.”

Slowly, Nicholas lifted his head to look at him and Lucas
smiled when their eyes met. “You said I should let you in, give
you a chance to prove you won’t walk away.” He drew in a
breath. He felt like he was walking a tightrope with no net
below him and if he fell, there was no chance he would survive,

but he still had to take the risk because Nicholas was well
worth it.

He was only sorry it had taken him so damn long to realize
that.

“Luc, what are you saying?”

“I’m saying I love you, Nic, and I want to be with you. I have to
admit, I’m scared to death, but I can’t ignore this any longer
and I don’t want to ignore it.”

“You mean it? You’re ready to try?”

Lucas smiled slowly, nodding. “I can’t say I won’t freak out
from time to time….”

“We can deal with that. If you’re willing to give us a real
chance.”

“I am. And I’m sorry I’ve made this so hard on you, Nic.”

Shaking his head, Nicholas claimed his lips in a hungry,
almost desperate kiss that Lucas melted into. When Nicholas
pulled him even closer, Lucas took the hint, shifting until he
was straddling Nicholas’s lap, their bodies eagerly pressed
together.

Moaning as Nicholas’s tongue slipped into his mouth, Lucas
tangled both hands in thick black hair, desperate for more,
aching to be closer.

I want this. I want it so much I can’t pretend anymore.

A strangled gasp escaped him as the kiss broke and Nicholas
began kissing down his neck as his hands slipped to Lucas’s

ass, pushing him down and grinding their straining erections
through the thick denim. He could feel heat flooding through
him; every nerve ending was alive and he wanted more. He
wanted to touch Nicholas in all the ways he had dreamed
about for years now, but even as that thought filled his mind,
the shrill ringing of the phone demanded his attention.

“Ignore it,” Nicholas advised, feasting on his neck, and Lucas
sighed.

“I can’t. Could be Sasha.”

Pulling away slightly, but making no move to remove himself
from Nicholas’s lap, Lucas reached for the phone, answering it
on the fifth ring.

“Hello?”

“Hello, Lucas.”

Any warmth he had felt seconds earlier faded and icy cold
settled over him, seemingly freezing his blood at the sound of
the voice that still haunted his nightmares.

“Riley….”

Without realizing it, he slipped from Nicholas to sit on the sofa,
still close to him, hand gripping the phone as Nicholas came
quickly alert.

“You seem surprised to hear from me, Lucas. You knew I was
in town. I made that clear.”

“Riley, you have to stop this.”

“How’s your boyfriend? Didn’t hurt him too badly, did I?”

“What…what do you want?” He closed his eyes, sick to his
stomach, mind filled with memories that were dark and
horrifying.

“What do I want? What do you think I want?”

“Riley….”

“I want you dead, you son of a bitch. I want you to pay for
what you did to me!”

Jumping slightly when Nicholas placed a hand on his back,

Lucas opened his eyes, allowing Nicholas to pull the phone
away from his ear slightly, so he could also hear what Riley
was saying.

“You think you suffered last time? Just what ’til you see what
I’ve got in store for you.”

“Listen to me, Riley. Don’t do this. Don’t waste a second
chance….”

“Fuck you! Don’t talk down to me or act like you care! You
don’t care!”

Lucas closed his eyes, trying to remain calm, knowing he
couldn’t panic, that it wouldn’t do anyone any good.

“I’ve been waiting for ten years to finish what I started.”

“Please….”

“Well, I will. Damn soon. And no one can stop me, not even
your pretty boyfriend.”

“Riley, leave everyone else out of this.”

“Honestly, I can’t believe you managed to land anyone, Lucas.
Not looking like you do now.”

The words sliced into him, just as Riley had known they would,
and Lucas felt sick, as the phone was pulled from his hand.

“You don’t want to play this game, you bastard. If you come
after him, I will be there, and trust me when I tell you I will kill
you before I allow you to hurt him.”

Watching Nicholas hang up the phone, Lucas said nothing. He
couldn’t form a thought. He couldn’t do anything, it seemed,
but remember what Riley had said.

“Honestly, I can’t believe you managed to land anyone, Lucas.
Not looking like you do now.”

“Nic….”

Nicholas knelt down in front of him, taking Lucas’s hands into
his.

“Don’t. Don’t you dare let that bastard do this. I know what
you’re thinking, Luc, and there isn’t a chance in hell that I’m
gonna just let you slip away from me now.”

Eyes closing again, Lucas didn’t resist when Nicholas pulled
him into his arms. He simply let himself melt into the warmth
and comfort of the embrace, burying his face against
Nicholas’s neck and holding on tight.

Within two hours, a tap was placed on Lucas’s phone and
Nicholas had a uniformed officer inside the bookstore.

As difficult as it was, Nicholas forced himself to think like a
professional, to focus on catching Riley rather than his desire
to take Lucas and get the hell out of town. He had thought of a
dozen places they could go, places where Riley would never
think to look for them, but Nicholas knew Lucas would never
agree to run.

But what he would do had Nicholas worried.

In the time since the call, Lucas had hardly spoken, would
hardly look at him, and Nicholas knew what was happening.
Lucas was pulling away from him and he hated it. Lucas had

finally told him he loved him, finally admitted he wanted them
to be together, to work at having a future, but one phone call
from Riley had shattered that.

I won’t let go now. We’re too close to what we want.

Finishing his conversation with the deputy he had assigned to
watch the store, Nicholas went back upstairs to the apartment
and let himself inside.

“Luc?”

“I’m in the bedroom.”

Closing and locking the door, he walked into the bedroom to
find Lucas sitting on the bed, arms resting on his knees as he
stared at the floor.

“I have someone watching downstairs and I’ve got an officer to
stand outside of Sasha’s place tonight, just to be on the safe
side.”

“Thanks.”

“You don’t have to thank me, Luc.”

Silence settled between them and Nicholas waited half a
second before crossing the room to sit down beside Lucas on
the bed. He didn’t reach out to touch him, as much as he
wanted to. He sensed the need Lucas had for physical space
and, for the moment, Nicholas was willing to allow him that,
but he wasn’t going to be coolly pushed away.

Never again, and certainly not because Riley Miller was trying
to undermine Lucas.

That bastard had better pray it’s one of my deputies and not me
who finds him.

“He’s going to come after me, Nic.”

“Luc.”

“And if you’re in his way, he will kill you.”

“He’s not going to kill me or you,” Nicholas insisted, but Lucas
shook his head.

“I can’t believe I’m so stupid.”

“Stupid? Luc, you are anything but stupid.”

“You don’t understand.” He looked at Nicholas, tangled
emotions in his eyes. “When it became obvious that Riley had
some sort of fixation on me, I offered to help his mother get
him the help he really needed, but she refused.”

“That’s on her. Not you.”

“I should have insisted. At the very least I should have taken it
more seriously.”

“Luc….”

“I didn’t consider him a danger, Nic. I didn’t think I had to be
afraid.”

Standing, he moved to the dresser, bracing his hands against
it, his back to Nicholas, who bit his lip, holding back his need
to reassure Lucas again, sensing that something was close to
the surface, something Lucas needed to get out.

“I thought he was a confused kid. I didn’t think he would try
and hurt me. I didn’t see how sick he really was until it was
too late and there was nothing I could do to stop him, to keep
him from doing whatever in the hell he wanted to do.”

“I was completely powerless and…he was insane and I knew it
then. I knew I should have seen it before, but I didn’t and
because I didn’t, I nearly died.”

Standing, Nicholas slowly crossed the room, standing behind
Lucas but not touching him.

“Luc, it wasn’t your fault.”

“Don’t. Please, don’t say that. Everyone says that.”

“Because it’s true,” Nicholas whispered. “Don’t take the blame

for what Riley did onto yourself because you don’t deserve it.
He’s responsible for his sins.”

“I should have done more.”

“You did what you could.”

Lucas shook his head again. “If I had done more….”

“What-if games will never get you anywhere.”

“Nic.”

“I can’t change what happened to you. If I could, I would. I
would do anything to spare you the pain you suffered.”

Slowly, Lucas turned and looked at him. “I shouldn’t throw all
of this at you.”

“I love you, Luc. And I’m here. If you need to talk, I’ll listen.”

“Will you just…just be here, Nic? I have no right to ask, but I
need you.”

Stepping closer, he pulled Lucas into his arms, holding him,
grateful that Lucas was allowing him this close and even more
grateful that Lucas seemed willing to lean on him.

“You can ask me for anything, Luc, and I will give it to you,
because I love you, and being here for you means more to me
than you will ever know.”

Chapter Six

The next morning, Lucas assured Nicholas he would be fine
while Nicholas went to his office and Lucas went downstairs to
the bookstore.

He trusted Sasha completely to run the place, but he had
some accounting work to handle and some ordering that
needed to be done. And he needed the distraction. He felt on
edge, knowing just how close Riley had come to seriously
hurting Nicholas. He had no doubt the man was still out there,
waiting for a chance to come after him and finish what he had
started ten years ago.

Nicholas felt confident in the security measures he had in
place and Lucas trusted him, but he had a bad feeling, one he
couldn’t shake.

In the end, he knew it would come down to him and Riley and
maybe it was best that way.

As long as no one else gets hurt, I don’t care what happens to
me.

He knew, of course, that if something happened to him,
Nicholas wouldn’t handle it well. For all his attempts to ignore
it and push Nicholas away, Lucas couldn’t deny that the other
man truly loved him and Lucas loved him just as much in
return. He had for a long time now and he couldn’t go on
pretending otherwise.

Which left him facing his greatest fear.

Allowing Nicholas to see him.

He still wasn’t certain he could; the idea still terrified him,
despite Nicholas’s reassurance that he didn’t care about the
scars.

Nicholas seemed to believe his feelings wouldn’t change, but
Lucas wasn’t so sure.

Lost in his thoughts, he had forgotten the task at hand—
reviewing the inventory—until Sasha leaned over the counter,
glancing at what he had accomplished.

Today, she had her orange hair, now highlighted with red,
pulled into pigtails, and her green-and-blue leopard-print
dress tightly hugged her figure.

Anyone else would look ridiculous, but Sasha had a flair all
her own.

“Looks like you’re getting a lot done there, Boss.”

“I’m taking my time, to avoid mistakes.”

She rolled her brown eyes. “Please. You were doing that broody
thing.”

“Broody thing? I don’t brood.”

“Please. You totally brood.” She grinned. “I bet I know what
you’re being broody about.”

“And what might that be?” he asked, despite knowing just
what she would say.

“Sheriff Tall, Dark, and Handsome.”

Despite himself, Lucas laughed. “I’m sure Nicholas would love
to know you call him that.”

“He doesn’t need me to. He has to know he’s hot. I mean, you
know he’s hot, right?”

“Sasha….”

“I know. I know. You don’t share the good stuff, which sucks.”
She leaned closer. “Just tell me if it’s good. It is, right? I mean,
how can it not be!”

“Nic and I are….”

“If you say the two of you are just friends, I swear I will scream
so loud the windows shatter.”

Shaking his head, Lucas sighed. “Saying that Nic and I are
just friends is…well, I know he and I are a lot more than that.”

Sasha clapped her hands. “Yes! Finally. Welcome back from
the World of Denial.”

“It’s still a complicated situation, Sasha.”

“Lucas, it can’t be that complicated. I mean, you are crazy for
him and he’s crazy for you.”

“And you know I have some…issues.” She didn’t know
everything, but she knew enough.

“Can I be honest with you?”

Lucas raised an eyebrow, setting his inventory list aside.
“When have you ever been anything but painfully, brutally
honest?”

“Don’t be a smartass. I’m serious.”

“In that case, by all means, please be honest.”

“You said you have issues and, you know, I’m sure you do,
because we all have issues and yeah, some are a lot more
complicated than others, but at the end of the day, everyone
has something in their past that isn’t pleasant.”

“Sasha….”

“The thing is, you can go on living in the past, never letting
yourself heal and move on, or you can accept what happened,
painful as that might be, and then realize that you have a life
here and now and you have something wonderful right in front
of you.” She slapped a hand on the counter. “Not to get all

cliché-sounding on you, but you have to take some risks in life
or one day, you’re gonna realize that you stayed on the
sidelines and watched everyone else do the living. And what’s
the fun in that?”

“What if you’re trying to avoid getting your heart broken?”

“That’s just it, Boss. At some point, we all get our hearts
broken. Any time you put your heart on the line, there’s a
chance it could get kicked around, but I don’t think you have
to worry about that, when it comes to you and Nicholas.”

“You can’t….”

“Know that? I can’t predict the future. No one can. But I know
something and I think you know it too, but here goes: Nicholas
loves you and you love him and you need to take a risk on that,
because I’m pretty sure it will be worth it.”

She pushed away from the counter. “Of course, it’s up to you.
I mean, you can push him away and maybe even offer up a
good reason for doing it, but I’ve got to tell you, if you do,
you’re a fool.”

“Think so?”

“I think so. And you know it. So get your head out of your ass
and get Nicholas in it.”

“Crude, Sasha.” Lucas laughed and she shrugged.

“It comes natural.” She turned to go back to stocking shelves.
“By the way, there’s a kick-ass copy of the Kama Sutra in the
adult section.”

Shaking his head, he ignored her laughter as she went back to
work and he looked down at the inventory list, fairly certain he
wouldn’t be getting much done today. He had too much on his
mind and Sasha had given him even more to think about. For
all her unique style and unique way of expressing herself, she
was right and Lucas knew it.

She hadn’t come right out and called him a coward, but Lucas
knew he was acting like one and that wasn’t fair to him and it
certainly wasn’t fair to Nicholas.

So what are you gonna do about it?

There was only one obvious answer and that was to face his
fear and get over it.

“Hey, Sasha, can you handle things here?”

“Of course.” She flashed a smile over her shoulder. “You want
that book I mentioned?”

“Thanks, but I already have a copy upstairs.”

“Way to go, Boss!”

He found an old radio in the cabin and, tuning it to the local
station, he heard his name mentioned as part of a statewide
manhunt.

“…considered armed and dangerous, Miller is not to be
approached. If you see him, please call the proper authorities.
Miller has a history of violence and unstable behavior….”

Disgusted, he turned off the radio, blood boiling. He couldn’t
believe they were saying he wasn’t stable, when nothing was
further from the truth. He wasn’t insane or crazy. Sure, they
had said that back when he was arrested. They said he and
Lucas had never had a relationship, that it had all been inside
his mind, but Riley knew better.

Lucas had lied to him, led him on.

He hadn’t imagined the promises Lucas had made to love him
forever. It wasn’t some dream built up in his mind.

Lucas knows; he knows what he did and I’ll make him admit it,
before he dies.

Looking around the darkening cabin, he sighed, knowing he
couldn’t hold out here too much longer. It was too much like
being back in prison and he hated that. After ten years, he
wanted to be out and about in the world and soon, he would
be.

Once Lucas was dead, he’d head to Mexico or maybe to
Canada and hang out there for a while, before finding
someplace to settle.

He could build a good life for himself once he settled
unfinished business. Maybe he would even find someone to
love, someone more deserving than Lucas had ever been.

Smiling, Riley closed his eyes, thinking again about what he
would do to Lucas and how good it would feel when he stood
over the bastard’s lifeless body.

Don’t get too comfortable, Lucas. I’m coming for you real soon
and it’s gonna be a blast.

Chapter Seven

By the time Nicholas made it back to Lucas’s apartment, it
was after five and he was ready to be alone with his lover.

And yeah, Lucas is that. My lover. We’ve crossed a line and I
won’t go back.

Smiling to himself, he stepped into the apartment, instantly
aware that soft music was playing and something smelled
wonderful.

“Luc?”

“I’m in the kitchen.”

Locking the door, he kicked off his shoes and shrugged off his
jacket before walking into the kitchen to find the small table
set, decorated with burning candles with a bottle of wine
waiting to be opened. Lucas was at the stove, with his back to
him, and Nicholas smiled when he threw a glance over his
shoulder with a smile that was open and genuine, not the
least bit guarded or reserved. Nicholas couldn’t help but feel a
burst of hope.

“Open the wine and pour yourself a glass. Dinner will be ready
soon.”

“Dinner?”

“Yeah. It’s a new recipe, so I hope it works.”

“Smells delicious. What is it?”

Lucas tossed him another smile. “Souvlaki.”

“You made souvlaki?”

“I did. And I hope I did it right.”

Shaking his head, he moved closer, looking over Lucas’s
shoulder. “You know, if I didn’t already love you, I would now.”

“In that case, you’re really gonna adore me when you find out
what we’re having for dessert.”

“Really? What would that be?”

“Each other.”

Lucas turned, smiling up at him and Nicholas felt his mouth
go dry as he took a step back, allowing his eyes to feast on the
sight before him.

Fresh from a shower, his hair was still damp, his jeans
unfastened, and he had left his shirt completely unbuttoned,
allowing Nicholas to see his chest for the first time. It was
incredible: well-defined, the muscles beautiful. He could see
his nipples and the urge to latch his lips onto them was just
about impossible to resist as all thoughts of food fled from his
mind. He knew Lucas had sensed the direction his thoughts
had taken when their eyes locked again and Lucas smiled.

“You okay, Nic?”

Nodding, he swallowed twice, to find his voice. “I’m good.
Just….”

“Surprised?”

“A little. I mean, it’s a great surprise, but I just wasn’t
expecting….” He waved a hand at Lucas, who shrugged.

“I had a conversation with Sasha today and she said a lot of
stuff that made sense.”

“Sasha?”

“I know.” Lucas stepped closer, sliding his hands up Nicholas’s
chest. “I won’t go into all of the details, but one thing she said
really caught my attention.”

“And what was that?”

“She said I needed to get my head out of my ass. And get you
in it.”

“Remind me to get Sasha something really great for her
birthday.”

Lucas laughed, but the sound was cut off when Nicholas
caught him in his arms, claiming his lips, holding nothing
back and knowing it was okay not to, as Lucas tangled a hand
in his hair while using the other hand to grip his shoulder. His
tongue was quick and eager, dancing. Nicholas felt nearly
overwhelmed with desire. This was his dream come true as he
turned them, pressing Lucas against the counter and sliding a
thigh between Lucas’s legs.

Feeling his lover’s erection straining against his jeans,
Nicholas moaned, pulling his lips from Lucas’s and looking
into the blue eyes he loved.

“Dinner….” Lucas glanced at the stove and Nicholas nodded.

“It can wait, if you like.”

“Are you suggesting we have dessert first?”

“Considering I’ve been waiting for five years for this dessert….”
His hands slipped to Lucas’s ass and he squeezed hard,
watching fresh desire flare in Lucas’s eyes. “What do you say?”
Grinding against him, Nicholas realized he wasn’t playing fair,
but he didn’t care in the least as Lucas grinned.

“Let me turn off the stove.”

Reluctantly, Nicholas released his hold long enough to allow
Lucas to turn off the burner and set their dinner aside before
grabbing the bottle of wine off the table.

“Well, what are we waiting for?”

Lucas slipped past him and Nicholas followed, unbuttoning
his shirt and shedding it along the way, wanting as few
barriers between him and Lucas as possible.

God, let this be real. Please. Please don’t let this be another
dream.

Closing the door as they stepped into the room, Nicholas

leaned against it, watching as Lucas set the wine on the
nightstand.

“Why are you all the way over there, Nic?”

“I’m just taking a moment to make sure this is real.”

“Real?”

“Not a dream. Because if it’s a dream, I kinda never want to
wake up.”

Lucas shook his head. “It’s not a dream, but I do want to tell
you I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“I made this,” he waved a hand between them, “a lot more
difficult than I should have and for that, I’m sorry. I built up
so many walls, trying to protect myself, that I couldn’t see
those walls did more harm than good, because they kept you
out.”

“Luc….”

“I put you through hell and you didn’t deserve it, Nic.”

“I don’t need an apology, because I know why you built those
walls and I’m just glad you’ve decided to let me in.”

“I really do love you.”

Nicholas smiled, pushing away from the door. “I happen to
love you, too. Very much.” Reaching Lucas, he placed his
hands on his shoulders. “Look, the last thing I want to do is
bring up bad memories but I just want you to know, you set
the pace for this and if I do something that makes you uneasy
or uncomfortable, tell me and I’ll stop.”

“And if you do something I like?” Lucas smiled.

“By all means, tell me, baby, and I won’t dare stop.”

“Nic.”

“But I mean it. I don’t want to hurt you.”

“You never could.” Lucas lifted a hand, stroking his cheek, and
Nicholas leaned into the touch, knowing he would never tire of
feeling Lucas touch him, even in the most innocent ways. “I
want you to know I trust you. It kinda goes hand in hand with
loving you.”

He swallowed again, this time to push back the emotions that
made his chest and throat feel tight and tears burn his eyes.

“I know it’s been a while….”

“It’s been a while since I’ve been with anyone but….” Still
standing close to Nicholas, he opened the top drawer of his
nightstand and smiled sheepishly. Nicholas’s eyes widened,
seeing the flesh-colored vibrator.

“Oh….”

“I ordered it five years ago.”

Lucas closed the drawer and Nicholas looked at him, smiling.
“Five years ago? Are you saying that something significant
happened five years ago that prompted you to make that
purchase?”

“Something significant did happen.”

“And what would that be?”

“The sexiest man I have ever seen moved to town.”

“Really? ’Cause when I moved to town, I’m pretty sure the

sexiest man I’ve ever seen was already living here and he stole
my heart before I even realized what was happening.”

Lucas smiled, wrapping his arms around Nicholas’s waist,
leaning into him. Nicholas shifted, backing them toward the
bed, losing himself in the love and desire he could see clearly
in Lucas’s beautiful eyes. After five years he was about to have
the man he loved completely open to him and more emotions
than he could hope to process flooded him. This was a dream
come true, but it was more than that even. He knew what it
meant for Lucas to be ready for this, to be willing to knock
down the last of his walls and put his heart in Nicholas’s
hands. Nicholas saw that for the precious gift that it was and
he wanted to tell Lucas all of that, but the words seemed to fail
him now.

Later, he assured himself, he would find the words again, but
for now, he would concentrate on showing Lucas just how
much he loved him, how much he would always, always love
him.

Caught up in the moment, he was startled when suddenly he
was pushed backward and he landed on the bed, flat on his
back, blinking up at Lucas.

“Luc….”

“You have the most beautiful body.”

“Thank you.”

Lucas smiled, leaning over Nicholas, and with nimble fingers,
he unfastened Nicholas’s belt and then set about unbuttoning
and unzipping his pants. “You know, looking at you, I’m kinda
amazed I was able to resist you for so long.”

“I’m a little amazed myself,” Nicholas grinned.

“Of course, I’ve come to my senses now.” Carefully, Lucas
tugged the pants down Nicholas’s long legs, dropping them to
the floor with another smile. “No underwear? I like that.”

“Really?”

“Totally. Easy access, you know.”

Nicholas laughed. “What about you? You going commando?”

“Of course. But you’ll see soon enough.”

He really wanted to see now, but he held that back, as Lucas
crawled onto the bed, straddling him, hands moving slowly
down his chest, fingers brushing against his sensitive nipples.
Nicholas gasped, back arching slightly.

“Luc.”

“Mind if I indulge a little?”

“Please feel free to indulge all you like.”

Again, Lucas smiled, a beautiful, carefree, loving smile that
made Nicholas’s heart kick, as the blond leaned down and
captured his lips in a slow, sensual kiss. He gladly opened his
mouth, eagerly returning the kiss, his tongue clashing with
Lucas’s in an erotic dance as old as time itself, but a dance
that was still and always would be special to them.

Kissing Lucas Keifer was heaven on earth, no single doubt
about it.

Lifting one hand, Nicholas tangled it in the thick blond hair,
moaning as Lucas broke the kiss and trailed his lips slowly
down Nicholas’s neck, kissing and licking and playfully
nipping. He seemed very focused on his task, which appeared
to be driving Nicholas insane with desire, and Nicholas was
happy to allow Lucas whatever freedom he wanted.

“You taste so good,” Lucas whispered, sliding a little lower.

“God, Luc.”

“Your nipples look so good, Nic. Do you mind if I play with
them a bit?”

Not waiting for an answer, Lucas sucked the left nub into his
mouth, licking and sucking until it was a rock hard pebble he
happily scraped with his teeth and Nicholas arched again, hips
bucking off the bed. He could feel the desire consuming him,
rendering him breathless. It was the most amazing and
intense feeling ever, unlike anything Nicholas had ever
experienced before, and he prayed it wouldn’t end, even as
Lucas turned his attention to the right nipple, subjecting it to
the same sensual delight as the aching left.

No dream, no daydream, no fantasy compared to the reality of
Lucas taking such pleasure in pleasing him, but Nicholas
wanted it to go both ways.

Seeming to read his mind, Lucas slipped from him, off the bed,
and Nicholas opened his eyes, pushing himself up on his
elbows.

Licking his lips in anticipation, he watched Lucas push his
jeans down his hips and legs, kicking them aside, and
Nicholas sucked in a breath, seeing the hard, straining cock
jutting from its nest of golden blond curls.

“You’re staring,” Lucas teased and Nicholas met his eyes with
a smile.

“More like admiring.”

Lucas made a tsking sound. “Flattery will get you…well,
anything you want.” Even as he said it, Nicholas could clearly
see the tension settle on him, see his eyes darken a little and
he knew why. He knew what was about to happen was the one
moment Lucas most dreaded.

Admitting that he loved him, that he wanted him, that had
been easy, compared to allowing Nicholas to see him, and
Nicholas silently prayed that Lucas wouldn’t lose his nerve
now, when they had come this far, made this much progress.

“Luc….”

“I’m sorry. I want this, Nic. I want you. I just….” He shook his
head and Nicholas sat up, taking both of Lucas’s hands in his.

“You don’t have to be scared with me, Luc.”

“I know. I’ve just built up the dread so much in my mind….”

“That it’s hard to just let it go,” Nicholas finished for him and
he nodded. “I can understand that, but know I love you.
Nothing will change that.” He lifted one hand, kissing it,
wishing he knew what he could say to take away all the fear,
but he suspected those words didn’t exist as Lucas sighed and
let go of his hands.

Don’t leave me now, Luc. Come on, baby.

Nicholas noticed Lucas’s hands trembling slightly as he began
pushing the shirt from his shoulders, slowly turning his back
to Nicholas.

He just wants to get it over with.

The shirt fell to the floor and Nicholas let his eyes slowly travel
up the back of Lucas’s legs, thighs, his wet-dream-inspiring
ass, finally looking up to see what Lucas hated most.

The scars on his back and down the back side of his left arm.

The skin was puckered, discolored, some areas more so than
others, but Nicholas didn’t find the sight hideous. It just made
his heart ache to imagine the pain Lucas had suffered, and it
made him even more determined to give him the love and
happiness he deserved.

Standing, he wrapped his arms around Lucas’s waist,
dropping a kiss on his shoulder, and Lucas trembled slightly
in his arms.

“Anyone who would walk away from you is a complete fool.”

“Nic….”

“And I am many things, Luc, but a fool is not one of them, so I
don’t intend to go anywhere and you had best accept that.”

Lucas turned his head slightly, not looking at Nicholas, but
close. “You mean that, don’t you?”

“With all my heart.”

Slowly, Lucas turned in his arms, eyes searching his, and
Nicholas smiled when he shook his head in obvious disbelief.

“All this time, I have been so afraid.”

“And now?”

“Now, I know I never have to be afraid again. Not with you.”

“In that case….” Nicholas smiled.

“In that case, maybe we should enjoy our dessert.”

“I like that idea.”

Easily pulling Lucas closer, Nicholas kissed him again, a long,
deep kiss that had Lucas clinging to him as he sank back onto

the bed with Lucas stretched out on top of him, every inch of
their bodies in direct contact.

And it felt astonishing.

I won’t let him go again. Ever. I’ll fight anyone and anything to
keep him in my arms.

Rolling them to their sides, Nicholas slipped a hand between
them, running it down the length of Lucas’s chest and
stomach, finally reaching his cock and smiling when Lucas
gasped at the feel of strong fingers wrapping around his
sensitive flesh.

“Nic….”

“I love the way you feel in my hand, Luc. I know I’m gonna love
the way it feels to be inside you at long last.”

Lucas arched into the touch, opening passion-heavy eyes.
Nicholas savored the expression, savored the knowledge that
he could do this to the man he loved, that he could make him
tremble with need and desire.

“Is that what you want, Luc? Do you want me inside you?”

“God yes! Please!”

Chuckling, Nicholas pushed Lucas onto his back, kissing him
as he did, moaning in delight when Lucas returned the kiss
with hungry need, no hesitation at all. It seemed as if he really
had allowed the walls to fall away. Nicholas was grateful for
that and he fully intended to prove just how grateful he really
was.

This moment, this man, was his dream come true.

Kissing his way down Lucas’s chest, he delighted in learning
what made Lucas moan or gasp or call out his name. He
wanted to know every inch of him, but Lucas’s hand was

tangled in his hair and his own body ached with the need to
release his desire.

“Trust me?” He was breathless as he asked and Lucas nodded.

“With all my heart.”

“You’ll never regret that,” Nicholas whispered, standing as

Lucas looked at him. “Can you lay on your stomach for me? If
you’re comfortable, that is….” With a smile and no hesitation,
Lucas easily did as he asked and Nicholas felt as if another
victory had been achieved.

“I’m starting to think you have some sort of fascination with
my ass.”

“I actually do have a fascination with your ass…and every
other part of you.”

Lucas laughed, resting his head on his arms while Nicholas
opened the nightstand drawer and pulled out the lube Lucas
had there.

“Well, do you plan on staring all night?”

“Well, as much fun as it is to look, I’d rather play.”

That in mind, he put one knee on the bed, leaning down to
kiss the back of Lucas’s neck, sliding one hand down his hip.

“Nic….”

“Trust me, baby. I’ll make this good for both of us.”

Lucas moaned again and Nicholas smiled, taking his time, to
kiss every inch of Lucas’s back, whispering gentle words,
telling him again and again how much he loved him.

How much he would always love him.

Slipping down farther, he caressed Lucas’s ass, feeling the
muscles tense in anticipation.

“Such a pretty ass….”

“Nic….” There was a growl of warning in his tone and Nicholas
laughed.

“Okay, okay. No more teasing, baby.”

To prove he meant it, he gently pulled the firm globes of
Lucas’s ass apart, leaning down to run his tongue over the
pink, puckered hole. Lucas’s hips bucked off the bed, his
hands tangling in the sheets as he cried out.

“Like that?”

“Please, Nic!”

“Again?”

“Yes!”

Aroused, but also amused by just how demanding his Lucas
could be, Nicholas did as he requested, using his lips and
tongue to taste and tease until Lucas was squirming and
gasping words too jumbled to be coherent.

Grabbing the lube, Nicholas quickly coated his fingers,
stretching out on his side beside Lucas, who was still on his
back.

Pressing a kiss to Lucas’s cheek, he smiled. “Still okay?”

“I’m better when you’re touching me.”

“That an invitation?”

“Of course.”

Kissing him again, nibbling his lover’s ear playfully, Nicholas
allowed his fingers to travel to the area he had just eagerly
explored, slowly slipping one finger into the tight hole. His own
cock felt as if it were about to explode; he was so aroused it
was painful, but he was still determined to take his time, to
make this perfect for Lucas, because Lucas deserved that.

Carefully, he allowed a second finger to join the first and as he
did, Lucas lifted his hips, biting his lip, eyes clenched shut.

“Please, Nic. More.”

“Whatever you want, baby.”

Slipping in a third finger, he slowly pushed deeper, curling
them, and Lucas cried out again, as Nicholas brushed over
sensitive nerve endings.

Repeating the action several times, he wondered if he might
come, just watching Lucas’s hips thrusting up to meet his
hand.

“Nic, I…. God, I need you now.”

“What do you need, baby?” He nipped at his neck again and
Lucas whimpered.

“You. Damn it, I need you inside of me!”

“There’s no place I’d rather be.”

Withdrawing his fingers, Nicholas gently rolled Lucas onto his
back, nearly losing himself in those amazing blue eyes.

He dropped his lips in for a quick, hard kiss that had them
both panting as he adjusted himself, hating to break physical
contact, even for a moment.

“Nic.”

“Almost, baby.”

Kneeling, with his legs spread between Lucas’s legs, Nicholas
stroked his hands down his lover’s thighs. He had to pull in a
breath and hold it, trying to control his desire. The need
mingled with the emotions created made everything more
intense and Lucas’s eyes told him he felt the same, as he

adjusted Lucas’s legs over his and slowly, he lifted Lucas’s
hips.

“I love you, Luc.”

“I love you, too, Nic.”

Hands cradling Lucas’s hips, Nicholas slowly, carefully, began
easing inside the man he loved for the first time and it was
unlike anything he had ever known. He gasped at the feel of
Lucas stretching to make room for him, to welcome him, warm
and hot and so incredible it defied words. It went beyond
anything Nicholas had ever felt before.

Moaning, Lucas arched up to meet him, his hands gripping
Nicholas’s thighs, pushing them closer, taking Nicholas all the
way inside.

“Nic!”

“Luc, I….”

“Move! Please! God, please move, Nic!”

Unable to deny himself, or more importantly, Lucas, Nicholas
began to move, slowly at first, lost in the sensation, in the
reality that he finally had what he wanted. Lucas gripped his
hips tightly enough Nicholas was certain they would bruise
but he didn’t care. He loved the sight of Lucas flushed, his
swollen lips parted, eyes locked on Nicholas’s, openly
expressing his desire and pleasure as Nicholas wrapped one
hand firmly around the straining length of Lucas’s shaft.

Stroking, pumping, the world turned upside-down as he and
Lucas were pulled into a vortex where what they felt and what
they wanted was all that mattered.

“Nic, I’m so…so close, Nic….”

“I know, baby. I know. Just let go. Let me watch you come,
baby.”

With a cry, Lucas came, spilling himself into Nicholas’s hand,
in the instant before Nicholas followed him over the edge,
falling into an abyss of white light and mind-shattering
pleasure that left him breathless, his body drained but
humming with an electric charge. His heart thundered against
his chest and his skin was damp with sweat, but he had never
felt more alive, more complete, as he slowly pulled himself
from Lucas’s body to collapse beside him on the bed.

Trembling, Lucas gathered Nicholas against him, each of them
rolling to their sides to face each other.

“Wow,” Lucas smiled tiredly, stroking his fingers through
Nicholas’s damp hair.

“I’d say that was a wow.”

“I must be insane, to have denied us that for so long.”

“Just don’t deny us again and we’ll call it even.”

Lucas laughed, closing his eyes on a sigh and Nicholas kissed
him gently, running a hand up and down his back in a tender,
soothing gesture.

“Love you, Nic.”

“I love you too, Luc. Just relax and let me hold you.”

In answer, Lucas scooted closer and Nicholas held him tight
as his own eyes closed, and together, sated, completely in love,
they drifted off to sleep.

Chapter Eight

They slept for about an hour before waking up and, after
showering together, they finally made it to their waiting dinner.

The food was cold but still good and the wine was a bit
lukewarm, but they drank it, laughing, barely able to keep
their hands off each other. Lucas had never felt so completely
free, not even before his life had changed so drastically, and

for a while, it was easy to forget the world beyond his
apartment, Riley Miller included. Just being with Nicholas was
all that mattered. It was all he had ever wanted and there was
something incredible in knowing that Nicholas felt just as
happy as he did, as they finally made it back to bed for
another round of lovemaking.

Afterward, they again fell asleep wrapped together and Lucas
was content, sleeping pressed close to Nicholas.

No matter what, he knew he didn’t want what they shared to
end, because Nicholas was the best thing in his life.

The best thing that has ever happened to me.

Morning came entirely too early, at five o’clock, to be exact,
when Nicholas’s cell phone rang and he groaned in disgust as
he sat up to answer it while Lucas watched him with sleepy
eyes.

Still naked, hair a mess, Nicholas was gorgeous first thing in
the morning and Lucas knew it was a sight he would never
grow tired of seeing. He and Nicholas hadn’t discussed it yet,
but Lucas knew one of them would soon mention the idea of
living together, and while the idea had once seemed so
impossible, Lucas now knew there was nothing he wanted
more.

Going to bed every night and waking up every morning
wrapped in Nicholas’s arms sounded like heaven.

“Are you kidding me? No, I’m on my way. Evacuate anyone in
that area and rope it off.”

Clicking the phone shut, Nicholas slipped from the bed and
began gathering his clothes as Lucas sat up further.

“What’s wrong?”

“Someone called the station, saying there’s a bomb in place at

City Hall. No one should be there, this early in the morning,
but we can’t take any chances.”

“Of course not.”

He paused, shrugging on his shirt. “Shit. I can’t leave you
here….”

“Nic, come on. I’ll be fine. I’ll lock the door and I won’t open it
to anyone but you.”

“Luc….”

“I’m serious. You have a job to do.” He crawled from the bed,
stepping into the arms Nicholas opened for him. “Go and I’ll be
here when you get back.” He could still see the concern in his
lover’s eyes, as Nicholas sighed before kissing him quickly but
with enough passion Lucas groaned when he forced himself to
pull back.

“Are you sure?”

“Go make the city safe. But be careful. I don’t want to visit you
in the hospital again.”

“Noted.”

He finished dressing quickly and Lucas walked him to the door,
where Nicholas turned and looked at him and Lucas smiled.

“Go. I’m fine.”

“I have my phone. If you need me….”

“Nic!”

“Okay, okay. I’m being a mother hen.”

“I was gonna say pain in the ass.”

Nicholas grabbed him by the hips and pulled him closer.
“When I get back, I’ll be anything but a pain in your ass,
babe.”

“Promise?”

“Always.”

“Good. Now get out of here already, Sheriff.”

One more kiss and Nicholas was out the door. Lucas locked it,
true to his promise, before he turned and looked around the
living room.

It was still early and he knew he could go back to bed for
another hour or so, but the idea of being in his bed without
Nicholas left him feeling hollow inside. He still couldn’t believe
he had pushed the man he loved away for five years, not when
it was obvious now that he had never had any reason to be
afraid or worry he might be rejected.

Lesson learned. I’ll never reject Nicholas again. I need him too
much.

Going into the kitchen, he put on a pot of coffee and went
back into the bedroom to put on some clothes. He had no idea
how long Nicholas would be. He expected the situation would
require a few hours at the very least, but the store didn’t open
until nine, which gave him time to go downstairs and finish
some work.

He knew Nicholas wanted him to stay in the apartment, but
the store was just as safe, as far as Lucas was concerned.

Waiting until the coffee was finished, he poured himself a cup
and went quickly downstairs, smiling as he thought about the
greeting he would likely get from Sasha when she arrived.

Sorry, Sasha. No details. Some things are too good to share.

Letting himself into his office, he turned on the lights, crossed

to his desk and set his coffee down with a sigh. He knew he
needed to catch up on some tasks he had been putting off,
and now was the ideal time, but his thoughts were still
consumed with memories of last night, in Nicholas’s arms. It
was silly, considering he was a grown man, but he felt almost
like a giddy teenager in love for the first time and he knew it
was a feeling that wouldn’t end.

Sitting down, he reached for a stack of mail he needed to sort
through, when he heard a soft click and then felt the cold
barrel of a gun pressed hard against the back of his neck.

“Surprise, Lucas.”

Not daring to move, heart falling to his stomach, he closed his
eyes. “Riley….”

“No fooling you, is there? Though I’ve got to say, it’s hard
getting a few minutes alone with you, when that pretty
boyfriend of yours is around.”

“Nic….”

“Right. Nicholas Demetris. Cedar Point Sheriff. Good-looking
guy. I bet dating a cop makes you feel all safe and secure,
right? Figure he’ll be around to protect you, but one little call
about a possible bomb, and he went running right out the
door, leaving you alone.”

“Riley, please….”

“Just a sitting duck, Lucas. That’s what you are.”

Drawing in a breath, he released it slowly, still afraid to move,
to do anything that would prompt Riley to shoot him in the
head. He had to remain calm, he had to focus, if he wanted
any chance of living to see Nicholas again.

“As you can tell, from the gun I have pointed at you, I am in
complete control here, so you’re gonna do just as I tell you to
do. Understand that?”

“I understand.”

“Promise to behave?” His voice was coldly mocking and Lucas
nodded.

“I swear.”

“Good. Now turn around very slowly, with your hands in the
air.”

He felt the gun move from the back of his neck, but Lucas
didn’t fool himself into believing he wasn’t still in danger as he
raised his hands and slowly turned his chair around to face
the monster from his nightmares.

Dressed in a sweat suit that looked at least a size too large, he
wore an old baseball cap and a three-day-old beard. He
appeared unkempt and dirty and his eyes were bright with
what could only be called madness as he smiled. Lucas looked
from him to the gun gripped in his hand and back again,
disgust and fear mingling together to make his chest tighten.

“You look good, Lucas. I have to admit that. And I know you
can’t say the same to me, because I look like hell, but what
can I say? Ten fucking years in prison is damn hard on a
man.” Rage echoed in his words and Lucas knew he was on
the edge. “Can you imagine what it’s like, to be locked up in a
cage day after fucking day, Lucas? Can you? Do you have any
idea how horrible it feels to be told when to eat and sleep and

take a piss? For ten years I was treated like shit. People treat
dogs better than I was treated and it’s all because of you, you
worthless son of a bitch! You ruined my life! You made me love
you, and then you threw it all back in my face and you made
people think I was crazy, but I’m not. I know what I am doing

and right now, I am here to make you pay for your lies, for
failing me, for taking my heart and breaking it.”

Lucas started to shake his head, to deny what Riley was

saying, to defend himself, but he was afraid that would just
push Riley past the edge, so he drew in another breath and
decided that maybe, if he played along a little, it might buy
him some time.

Time for what, Lucas? He has a gun. And Nic won’t come back
until he knows everything is safe at City Hall. Even if there is
no bomb, he doesn’t know that. He can’t risk innocent lives.

He was on his own and all he had were his instincts and hope
to keep him alive.

“I’m sorry, Riley.”

“For what? Just what are you sorry for, Lucas?”

“For anything I did or said that hurt you in any way. I…I never
meant it. I wanted to help you, to do good in school and maybe
get into college.”

“You didn’t mean to….”

Without warning, his words faded and he lashed out, striking
Lucas across the face with the gun, causing pain to explode
and blood to gush from a cut under his right eye.

“You didn’t mean to! Is that it? That’s all you can say?”

Holding his hand over the cut, fighting back a wave of
darkness, Lucas looked up at Riley, seeing the rage and the
burning hate in his eyes.

“Riley, please listen….”

“Not a chance. I don’t want to hear your excuses.”

“What do you want?”

He smiled at that,—a cool, sick smile that made Lucas’s skin
crawl. “Well, since you were so kind as to ask, I’ll tell you. I
want you and me to have a chance to get to know one another
again. I’ve even got a place for us.”

“A place….”

“Where we can be all alone. Where no one will find us. Just
like before.”

God, no. Please. I can’t do this. I can’t survive this. Not again.

“Don’t look so worried, Lucas. I promise, at least one of us will
have fun.”

“Riley, I’ll give you anything you want. Just go away. Don’t
blow your chance to have a life.”

“What chance? Any chance I had, you stole from me ten years
ago. I loved you.” He shook his head, jabbing the gun in
Lucas’s direction as he went on. “You were nice to me and you
made me think I could believe in you and it was all lies. And I
made you pay for that, but you lived and…why didn’t you just
die, damn it? If you had, I would never have gone to jail. I lost
everything. My mother turned me away, I can’t contact anyone
in my family, all because of you!”

His verbal tirade ended with a bitter laugh and he shook his
head again. Lucas could see he was beyond being reasoned
with, he was even more insane than he was back when the
nightmare began, and that terrified him.

“Here’s what we’re gonna do, Lucas. I got a car in the alley.
Real calm-like, we’re gonna get in the car and we’re gonna go
for a little ride, to the place I got picked out for us.”

“People will realize I’m missing and come looking for me.”

“Of course they will, but they won’t have any idea where to
look, will they? And by the time they do figure it out, it will be
too late.”

“What…what are you going to do to me?”

“Oh, I can’t tell you. It would ruin the surprise.”

“Riley….”

“Suffice it to say, the fun we had last time will seem like
nothing compared to what I have in mind for us this time
around.”

Dropping his blood-covered hand from his face, Lucas
swallowed back his fear and the need to be sick, as he allowed
Riley’s words to really sink in.

He’s going to rape me and torture me all over again and this
time, he will make sure I’m dead.

“I’m almost sad that I won’t be around to see the reaction
when they find what’s left of you.” He smiled, as if he had read
Lucas’s thoughts. “It won’t be pretty and I bet your boyfriend
will just fall apart when he sees you carved up from head to
toe.”

Waving the gun in an upward motion, Riley reached into his
back pocket and pulled out a pair of handcuffs he threw at
Lucas.

“Put those on, and then get up slowly.”

Hands trembling slightly, Lucas hooked the cuffs around one
wrist, then the other, cringing at the sound of them locking in
place and rendering him even more helpless.

“Now stand. Time’s a wasting.”

“Is there really a bomb?” Lucas asked, as he stood, feeling
slightly dizzy.

“No. No need for one, really. Just the threat is enough to
distract your boyfriend and his band of deputies for a while.”

“They’ll find you, Riley. Even if you kill me, they will eventually
find you.”

“Oh, Lucas. There’s no if about it. I will kill you and then I’ll
disappear. It’s all very simple.”

No it’s not, you bastard. Nic will find you. He won’t rest until he
finds you.

As much as he wanted to scream those words, he didn’t, but
thinking about Nicholas did make his eyes burn with tears.

They had finally gotten it right, he had finally gotten past his
issues and let Nicholas in and now he was going to die. He had
been so afraid Nicholas would be the one to leave, but now,
thanks to Riley, Lucas knew he would be the one leaving and
he hated it, hated knowing what his death would do to
Nicholas.

If he finds me the way Riley intends for him to find me, he will
never get over it.

Would finding him shot to death inside his office somehow be
better? He would still be dead, in the end, but at least Nicholas
wouldn’t be haunted by the knowledge that he had suffered
horribly before he died and maybe, maybe that might make it
easier to accept.

Maybe Nicholas would someday find someone else to love,
because he deserved that. He deserved to be loved, to be
happy.

I’m sorry, Nic. I am so sorry for the time I wasted, the time we
could have had. I love you so much.

“Okay, let’s get a move on.” Riley gestured toward the side
door, but Lucas shook his head.

“No.”

Clearly confused, Riley frowned. “No? Excuse me, but I don’t
think you have a choice.”

“But I do have a choice, you sick son of a bitch. I’m choosing
to make you kill me here and now and I’m choosing not to
allow you to play whatever sick, twisted games you have in
mind.”

Riley’s eyes narrowed. “You think I won’t kill you where you
stand?”

“On the contrary, I know you will.”

“Don’t push me.”

“Then just do it. Kill me.”

For a moment, he was certain Riley was going to do it. He
would pull the trigger and that would be it, but instead, he
smiled.

“Fine. If you insist, Lucas. I’ll kill you. And then I’ll wait a
while and when things calm down a bit, I’ll come back here
and take Nicholas and do to him all the things I have in mind
for you.”

“You can’t….”

“Oh, but I can. And I will. I’ll just take your pretty boyfriend in
your place.”

“Riley….”

“You’re so big on having a choice, Lucas. Well, choose. You or
Nicholas? Who will it be?”

Sickened, Lucas shook his head. “I…I’ll go with you. Okay?
Anywhere you want, I’ll go.”

“You sure? I mean, I’m sure I could enjoy myself with
Nicholas.”

“Please, leave him alone. It’s me you want and you have me.”
He didn’t care what happened to him, as long as Nicholas
didn’t suffer. Riley smiled.

“In that case, we’re gonna go right out that door there and get
into my car.”

Lucas nodded, not trusting himself to speak, as Riley grabbed
his shoulder, turned him, and gave him a hard push toward
the door.

Please, God, don’t let Nic be the one to find me when Riley’s
finished.

He could feel tears burning his eyes at the thought, as they
crossed the room and Riley reached around him, to put his
hand on the doorknob. He had the gun pressed into Lucas’s
side and Lucas knew if he shot him now, at that range, it
would certainly kill him, but a deep sense of self-preservation
demanded that he at least make an attempt to save himself.

Drawing in a breath, as Riley opened the door, Lucas lifted his
foot and stomped down as hard as he could on Riley’s foot.

The other man cried out in surprise and as he did, Lucas spun,
curling his cuffed hands into fists, slamming them into Riley’s
face. He felt Riley’s nose snap, but knew that wouldn’t deter
him for long. The gun fell and Lucas kicked it, but as he did,
Riley caught his foot, jerking hard, knocking Lucas off balance
and sending him crashing to the floor.

The side of his head hit the doorknob and pain made his
vision blur. He rolled to his side, telling himself to stand, but

before he could, Riley was looming over him, the gun in hand,
rage bright in his eyes as blood poured from his nose.

“You bastard! I wish you had died ten years ago!”

“Well, I didn’t, you freak! I lived!”

“I’m gonna change that now….” He swayed on his feet, but still

managed to take aim. “And you know what? I don’t even care if
I get caught, if I go back to prison, as long as you’re rotting
away in hell where you belong!”

I’m sorry, Nic. Please forgive me for not making it.

Closing his eyes, he knew it was over, knew this was it, as the
sound of a gun firing exploded. He waited for a rush of pain,
but it never came and he opened his eyes in time to see Riley
drop to his knees, before slumping forward to the floor.

Shocked, his mind hazy, he looked up to see Nicholas rushing
toward him, followed by three deputies. Lucas wondered if
maybe, just maybe, he was dead, or maybe he was knocked
out and he was just lost in some hallucination.

“Luc? Luc, talk to me, baby. Come on, talk to me.”

Nicholas dropped to his side, taking his face in his hands and
at his touch, some of the shock began to fade and Lucas fell
forward into his arms.

“Nic….”

“It’s okay now, Luc. It’s okay. I swear; it’s all over now.”

Lucas allowed the words, the comforting embrace, to wash
over him, as sirens sounded in the distance and he closed his
eyes, not bothering to fight the tears.

He was alive—alive—and Nicholas was holding him and he
wouldn’t let go.

The nightmare really was over.

Epilogue

Despite great protest on Lucas’s part, the doctors ordered that
he stay in the hospital overnight for observation.

He had a mild concussion and the cut under his eye needed
just a few stitches, and the doctors expected his recovery
would be quick, but Nicholas knew, all too well, just how close
he had come to losing the man he loved.

Two second later, and Lucas would have been dead.

The thought made his heart ache each time it came to him
and that ache was made worse when duty forced him to leave
Lucas’s side while the doctors treated him. He had to deal with
reports, calling off the search for Riley and explaining to the
media that the bomb threat had been bogus, just a sick ploy
used by Riley to distract Nicholas and his deputies, leaving
Lucas vulnerable.

And I fell for it; I left Lucas alone.

Nicholas knew he would never escape that guilt, even if he had
been doing his job. It was his gut feeling that something just
wasn’t right that had sent him back to make certain his lover
was safe, and he thanked God that he’d listened to that gut
feeling.

With everything finally settled, for the time being at least,
Nicholas went back to the hospital, slipping into Lucas’s room,
to find him asleep.

His face was bruised, there were cuts on his wrist from the
handcuffs, and he looked a little pale to Nicholas, but he was
alive and beautiful and Nicholas felt tears burning his eyes as
he sat down beside the bed.

Carefully reaching for his hand, he forced a smile when
Lucas’s eyes slowly opened.

“Hospitals are becoming a thing with us, Nic.”

“I say it’s a habit we have to break.” Nicholas kissed his hand.
“How are you?”

“Tired. A little groggy. But most of all, I’m damn lucky.”

“Luc….”

“Listen, I know you, and you’re about to go into this long thing
about how you weren’t there and how it all could have ended
badly, but I won’t hear it. I’m alive because of you, because
you came back, and I….”

“I should never have left.”

“You were doing your job.”

“You could have died, Luc.” Just saying the words made him
feel ill.

“I could have. But I didn’t and that’s all that matters.”

Nicholas kissed his hand again, taking a moment to gather his
emotions, to process everything that had happened. He and
Lucas had just gotten things right and they had come close to
losing out on the future they wanted, but now, Riley was dead
and Nicholas couldn’t deny that he was relieved to know Riley
would never again be a threat to Lucas.

And, looking at Lucas, Nicholas could see something in his
eyes, something that said he was at peace, that he was no
longer haunted by the past.

“The statement you gave, you said he…he said if you didn’t go
with him, he would kill you and come back for me?”

Lucas nodded slowly. “I wouldn’t let that happen.”

“God, Luc….”

“I wouldn’t let you ever suffer what I did.” Lucas’s eyes locked
on his. “But I…God, I wouldn’t let him hurt you, but at the
same time, I prayed you wouldn’t be the one to find me,
because I….” He had to swallow back a rise of emotions. “I
didn’t want finding me dead to be your last memory of me and
when he was about to kill me, the entire time he had me at
gunpoint really, all I could do was think about how I wasted so
much time.”

Shaking his head, Nicholas squeezed his hand. “Whatever time
we missed, we’ll make up for it and we will make the most of
every moment we’ve got ahead of us.”

“Promise?”

“Always.”

Lucas smiled, but he still looked tired. “I don’t want you
feeling guilty, or blaming yourself, Nic, because you saved my
life coming back when you did, but more than that, you saved
me when you refused to give up on us.”

“I will never give up on us.”

“Neither will I.”

Their eyes held as the promise passed between them and
Nicholas knew it was all okay.

“However, love, you look exhausted.”

“Do I?”

“Totally. Seems a good enough reason for me to scoot over and
make room for you in this bed.”

“You just want to get me in bed.” Nicholas teased.

“Any and every chance I get.”

“Luc….”

“I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

Carefully, Lucas scooted over, and Nicholas kicked off his
shoes before crawling into the bed, laying his head on the
same pillow as Lucas.

Just being close to the man he loved, the man he wanted a life
with, chased away the chill he felt each time he thought about
how close he had come to losing Lucas forever.

But he’s okay now. We’re okay. Riley’s gone, and the past we
can face together.

“I think we should live together,” Lucas said, as Nicholas
settled beside him.

“I think we should get married.”

Lucas raised an eyebrow. “Was that a proposal?”

“Hell no! A proposal means I’m giving you the option to say no,
and I’m not.”

“For what it’s worth, I don’t need that option. No is the last
thing I would say to marrying you.”

Leaning close, Nicholas kissed him slowly, gently, but the
passion and need was still there and they both knew it always
would be.

“Just promise me we’ll do our best to avoid hospitals for a real
long time,” Nicholas grinned.

“And you have to promise me you’ll get back to that idea you
had for chocolate….”

“Don’t forget about my fantasy of you and me in my office.”

“Oh, I haven’t forgotten that.”

“We have a lifetime to live out every fantasy either of us has,
Luc.”

“Living out fantasies certainly sounds like fun, and I agree, we
will indulge, but I have to tell you, Nic, I really like reality.”

“Reality?”

“Yeah. Reality. Our reality. You and me happy together.”

Nicholas blinked back the tears that again threatened, but this
time, they were good tears, tears that came from knowing they
had overcome every obstacle thrown at them and not only
were they together, they were stronger.

“We will be happy, Luc.”

“I know. We deserve it.”

“That we do. That we do, babe.”

Slipping an arm around Lucas, he pulled him closer, holding
on tight, certain that forever was theirs and it really would be
happily ever after.

Lisa Marie Davis is a Florida girl, born and raised, who had been writing for
as long as she can remember. There's nothing she loves more than writing.
Her mind is always wondering, creating characters and plots. She's been
accused of daydreaming too much but doesn't see it as a fault.

Other titles from Lisa…

Published by

Dreamspinner Press

4760 Preston Road

Suite 244-149

Frisco, TX 75034

http://www.dreamspinnerpress.com/

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are
the product of the authors’ imagination or are used fictitiously, and any
resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments,
events or locales is entirely coincidental.

Cover Design by Mara McKennen

This book is licensed to the original purchaser only. Duplication or
distribution via any means is illegal and a violation of International
Copyright Law, subject to criminal prosecution and upon conviction, fines
and/or imprisonment. This eBook cannot be legally loaned or given to
others. No part of this eBook can be shared or reproduced without the
express permission of the publisher. To request permission and all other
inquiries, contact Dreamspinner Press at: 4760 Preston Road, Suite 244-149,
Frisco, TX 75034 http://www.dreamspinnerpress.com/

Released in the United States of America

November, 2008

eBook edition

eBook ISBN: 978-1-935192-44-2

Document Outline

Loving Lucas - Contents
Prologue
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Epilogue

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