Dylan Campbell took a bullet to save the girl of his dreams. This fateful
day changed everything. Now Dylan struggles to claim Winnie as his
own while making his bones with the Reapers MC.
Winona Todds was broken by life. Hiding from the world, she remains
consumed with fear until her heart craves Dylan. Shell need to face her
past to build a future with the man with the bulldog tattoo
Damaged and the Bulldog
Bijou Hunter
Chapter One ~ Winnie
At nineteen, I had three distinct memories from my childhood. The first
was playing Star Wars with the neighborhood kids and ending up as
Chewbacca when the other girl got to be Princess Leia. The second was
when the neighborhood bully Clyde Dinkle crashed his bike into my
leg while I was riding my Big Wheelie. The last was when my dad

announced he'd lost me in a card game and I was going to live with a
guy named Sugar Bum.
My therapist said I suppressed my ugliest memories to survive.
Eventually, my mind hid them automatically. My short term memory
wasn't great either. I never minded the large gaps in my life though.
Based on what I did remember, I wasn't missing much.
I lived with the scars from my time with Sugar Bum and the Vandals
Motorcycle Club. The physical ones like the gash on my hairline, the
burns on my feet, and the C-section incision under my belly button
provided proof of a time I didn't remember. Other scars remained
hidden in my mind, waiting to rise up inside me. When someone
touched me or came up behind me too quickly, I felt under attack. My
body remembered even if my mind destroyed the images belonging to
the sensations.
Everything changed for me so quickly. One day, I was a doll in a box.
The next day, I was in the loving home of Tad and Toni Todds. They
were my dad and mom who would never sell me to pay a debt. My
unspoken prayers answered, I was saved by men as frightening as the
ones who broke me. I still remembered the look on Kirk Johansson's
hard face when he opened the footlocker to find me inside. My savior
was terrifying, but he freed me.
These days, I ought to be happy and sane. I had a great family and years
of therapy. My past still clung to me. For my family, I wanted to be
strong. I also had dreams about a particular man. If I could find a way
to be independent, I might have a chance with Dylan Campbell.
The first time I saw Dylan, his mohawk and tats scared me. His dark
eyes were so angry. I figured he would hurt me like so many other men.
Dylan wasn't like them, but I took awhile to realize this fact. I knew he
wasn't simply another handsome guy like Cooper or Vaughn when I
saw a tanned and sweaty Dylan without his shirt.
I' d never found a man sexy before. Viewing a guy as sexy, rather than
handsome, made me think of sex and I hated being touched. I couldn't
even imagine kissing a guy without wanting to vomit. Yet when I saw
Dylan without his shirt, my body flushed with heat. For the first time in
my life, I was aroused by the sight of a man. My desire not only

surprised me, but also scared me to death.
I got the worst giggles when I saw Dylan without his shirt.
Embarrassed and aroused, I wouldn't shut up until Harlow pulled me
outside and I downed an entire bottle of water. After calming, I said the
stupidest thing ever.
"He has hair on his chest."
Harlow burst into giggles and I realized how pathetic I sounded. "Oh,
don't be sad," Harlow said, hugging me. "Everyone thinks someone's
hot."
"Do you think someone's hot?" I mumbled against her. "Yeah, sure,"
she lied.
"Who?"
"Vaughn."
Even knowing she was lying, I appreciated the effort. Harlow's hugs
felt good. One day, I might enjoy a man touching me. Well, assuming
the man was Dylan.
Every morning for months, I woke up and wondered if I should talk to
Dylan again. We had shared a few short conversations when I went
with Mom to Cooper's future office. She designed the layout while
Dylan ran the construction team. One time, he even said my hair looked
nice in a braid. I'd smiled like an idiot, unable to even thank him.
Despite his dark angry eyes, Dylan always spoke with a gentle tone
when addressing me. I thought he liked me the way guys liked girls, but
he never made me feel dirty.
I had hoped he might ask me out. Feeling stronger than I'd ever been, I
was ready to give dating a chance. My hopes died when the Devils MC
showed up to grab Harlow. They took me too. I wished I fought them
off, but I shut down like I always did when afraid. Harlow kicked one
and tried to hit another, but they were too strong.
When the armed Devils arrived, the men at the worksite ran for cover.
All except Dylan who attacked the two Devils with a hammer. He
nearly tore out one guy's eye before the second bastard shot him in the
chest.
Dylan didn't die, but my courage did. I stopped visiting the worksite
and hadn't seen him except in passing for months. I still

dreamed of dating Dylan. Until two days earlier, when I realized I'd
waited too long and lost my chance.
Staring out at our backyard, I could only think of Dylan hugging a
pretty redhead. The girl was curvy in a way I wasn't. She smiled easily
like I never did and hugged him as if touching was no big deal for her.
They actually looked good together. Him tall and powerful, her small
and delicate. She was what Dylan deserved. Yet I couldn't believe I lost
my chance. I'd been so sure he was mine because he said he'd wait.
Weeks earlier, Nick Davies's loser dad came to Ellsberg and forced me
to help him find his boy. Saying no to men was always difficult. My
little brother Jace even bossed me around.
After I led Doyle Davies to New Hampton College, he fought with
Nick then Dylan. Watching them fight, I was overwhelmed with fear
and guilt. When a weapon dropped near my feet, I grabbed the knife
and planned to hurt anyone who touched me. The police arrived, but I
refused to give up the blade. Despite my fear of men, I said no. Besides,
the police never helped me all those years when I was a slave to Sugar
Bum and his friends. I refused to give up my weapon. Nearly dying to
protect Harlow and me, Dylan could be trusted. When he asked for the
weapon, I gave it to him.
Afterwards, he drove me home and I wished to explain what he meant
to me. I couldn't find the words.
"Did they hurt you?" Dylan asked on the ride to my house.
Unable to find my voice, I shook my head.
"People like that need to be wiped off the face of the earth," he
growled.
Once we parked in front of my house, Dylan finally looked at me. I
forced myself to hold his gaze.
"You know, don't you?" he whispered. "That's why you gave me the
knife."
My heart soared at how he understood. When I nodded, Dylan's dark
eyes studied me.
"I'll wait," he said then added, "I have no choice because I can't go
anywhere else. Only you will do."
I wanted to say something reassuring to Dylan. He was always in

my thoughts and I needed him to know what he meant to me. The
words felt all wrong in my head, so I only thanked him for the ride.
When I slid out of the truck, Dylan took me by the wrist. His calloused
hands were soft against my skin.
"Do you want me to wait?" he asked.
My lips remained glued together, but I nodded. Dylan's hard and angry
expression eased. I even saw a little smile on his face when I glanced
back before disappearing into the house.
Dylan said he would wait. He meant it too. Yet I took too long to get
over my issues and he found someone else.
After seeing Dylan with the redhead, I sunk deeper into a depression.
Even working at Lark's house did nothing to distract me. I simply went
through the motions. Fortunately, Lark was especially tired and slept
most of the day, so she never noticed my bad mood.
Harlow wasn't as oblivious as we washed dishes after dinner.
"What's up, stinky pup?"
I rolled my eyes at her nickname for me. "Nothing."
"She doesn't want to deal with the leaves," Jace said from behind us.
Our ten year old brother crossed his arms like Dad often did when
suspicious. "See, she got spooked last night and bailed on raking the
leaves. They ended up blowing around the yard and now she's trying to
get out of raking them again."
"That's not it."
"Sure, it is," he said, his dark hair covering his narrowed eyes.
"What else could it be?"
Grumpy, I decided to punish him. "It's about a sexy guy." Jace's face
twisted into horror. "Eww!" he cried, running out of the room.
Harlow and I laughed at the sound of him telling on me to Mom. "In a
few years, girls will be all he thinks about," I said, returning to the
dishes.
Harlow leaned her head against my shoulder. "Sexy guy, huh?"
"Shouldn't you be getting ready for your fight?" Harlow glanced at the
clock. "Yeah. When I get back, I want to hear about the sexy guy
making you sigh so much."

As my sister dressed to go, I finished the dishes and struggled to stop
sighing. I was still grumpy when Dad got home. In this living room, he
told Harlow to be careful. She said something and laughed.
When Harlow started fighting at the Thunderdome, she called herself
Joy and hid it from our parents. She didn't think they'd approve and she
was right. Harlow and I were naïve to assume they wouldn't find out
long before she told them the truth though.
Dad might be a pastor, but he learned about the Lord in prison. As a
member of the Reapers, Dad had eyes and ears all over Ellsberg. He
likely knew Harlow was fighting before she threw her first punch.
Entering the kitchen, Dad smiled at me. "Stop talking about cute boys
around your brother. He has a sensitive gag reflex."
I laughed as he got himself a beer and joined me at the sink. "Mom said
we have leftovers. Mind warming them up for me?"
Shaking my head, I filled a plate and set it in the microwave. "Are you
okay?" Dad asked, frowning at me. "You look worn down."
"I had a long day." "You sure that's it?"
We watched each other and I remembered the first time he asked if I
was okay. Five years earlier when I was brought to this house and met
my new family. I didn't remember a lot from that day besides thinking
these people were too good to be true. I figured they'd wait until Kirk
was gone then hurt me.
I couldn't remember when I knew Dad was a good man who loved me.
Not like my real dad loved me. Tad felt the kind of love a person died to
protect. I saw the love in his eyes as he waited for his food to finish
warming.
"I wish I was stronger."
"So do I," he said softly. "Everyone does. They just don't admit it.
That's what makes you so brave. You can admit your fears." Even
thinking he was full of shit, I smiled. "Thanks, Dad." Taking his plate
out of the microwave, he inhaled. "Mom makes the best meatloaf." "I
made it."

Grinning, Dad nudged me with his hip. "If you make this meatloaf for
the boy you're hung up on, you'll own him." "I'll remember that."
Dad left me to eat in the living room with Mom. I finished up the
dishes, washed off the counter, and joined Jace outside as he raked the
leaves.
"I saw a shadow last night," I told him. "A person shadow or a squirrel
shadow?"
We laughed, but I knew Jace thought I was nuts. I freaked over minor
noises and the doorbell sent me scrambling to my room. Having only
lived with us for a year, Jace was still getting used to having two weird
big sisters.
Once we finished outside, I took a shower and watched TV alone in my
room. Usually my favorite show Monk soothed me. This night, I
pinched the back of my hand.
Whenever I was tense, I pinched my hands until they were dark with
bruises. If I ran out of space on my hands, I moved onto my arms. On
really bad days, I pinched bruises up and down my legs too.
Ignoring the TV, I thought about Dylan's strong arms around the pretty
girl. He should have been mine, but I failed. No amount of pinching
gave me a second chance, but I couldn't stop. The depression needed an
outlet.
I was still pinching my hands under the blankets when Harlow crawled
into my bed. Damp from a shower, she wore shorts and a loose tee. I
also noticed a darkening bruise on her eye.
"Did you win?" I asked as she cuddled next to me.
"Hell yeah."
"Are you in pain?"
"No," Harlow lied. "Are you still bummed about a sexy guy?" Pinching
harder, I shrugged. "I get disappointed sometimes." "Disappointed
about what?"
"Disappointed in me. I was doing so well months ago. Now I just hide
in the house."
"You have a job and friends." "I should be stronger by now."

"Things happened that changed us both."
We were both thinking about the Devils. I was happy to have blocked
most of the experience from my mind, but I remembered enough.
Dylan getting shot. The way one guy pushed me against a wall. How he
wanted to rape me because I was "extra." Harlow was the one they
wanted and I was disposable. Mostly, I remembered Harlow and me
killing the guy.
"It's my fault," Harlow said, staring at the TV. "I'm why they came here
and hurt you."
"You kept that freak from..." I didn't finish because Harlow's mood
always grew dark when we talked about it. "I wish I could be the way I
was."
Pinching my forearms, I glanced at my Cookie Monster doll. For years,
I used the toy to soothe me when I was upset. Mom had given it to me
when I first arrived. Even too old for a doll, I practiced hugging it like I
couldn't hug people. The doll also smelled like Dad after I sprayed it
with his cologne when he went out of town.
At eighteen, I finally gave up Cookie Monster. I didn't need the comfort
until the Devils showed up. Now I craved the doll again. Needing to be
strong, I forced my gaze on the ceiling.
"You still like Dylan," Harlow said, nudging me. "When you girls get
all hung up on a boy, you sigh a lot. I see it all the time."
"You're a girl too," I muttered.
"So I've heard," she said. "I know you want to be strong right now, but
Dylan said he would wait."
"It's too late," I whispered, my voice breaking. "I saw him with a girl
yesterday. They were hugging and she was really pretty. I lost my
chance."
Harlow rolled off the bed and retrieved the Cookie Monster doll from
the shelf. Watching her through wet eyes, I considered telling her no.
Harlow's expression made clear she wouldn't listen.
As I took the doll, Harlow joined me on the bed and pulled the blanket
over us. She saw my red hands and knew what I was doing to myself.
She didn't say anything though.
"You need to make yourself happy. The doll relaxes you."

"I'm not a child."
"You haven't been a child in a long time, Winnie. For too long really.
Adults need help relaxing too."
My thoughts returned to Dylan's arms around the beautiful girl. "I wish
I was like you."
"I' m fucked up too. Everyone is," Harlow said, playing with my long
brown hair. "I'm angry and you're scared. Neither one is good. We do
our best though."
"Dylan is the only guy I've ever wanted to touch me. Now it's too
late."
"Screw that chick. She's not you and he said he would wait. He didn' t
have to say that."
"Yeah, but he probably changed his mind," I said, cuddling closer to
her. "I wouldn't wait for me."
"Yeah, but you're kinda stupid."
Despite sharing her smile, I couldn't shake off my depression. Harlow
stared at the ceiling for a long time. We were both in our heads until she
suddenly turned to me.
"When those fuckers grabbed us, I told you it would be okay and we'd
escape. Remember?"
"Yes," I whispered, recalling how the rock felt in my hands as I crushed
the asshole's skull.
"We escaped. I kept my word. Well I'm telling you this thing with
Dylan will work out. Do you believe me?"
Cuddling the doll, I smiled. "Yes. You've never been wrong."
Harlow smirked. "I'm tense, so I need to sleep in here."
"Can we sleep with the TV on?" I asked, squirming lower under the
blanket.
Harlow smiled and I knew she needed the TV on too. We might be
fucked up in different ways, but we were alike in many others ways.
Despite years of therapy and steps forward, sometimes the past dragged
us back into its grip.
Chapter Two ~ Dylan

"Can't complain" was my standard reply when people asked how my
day was going. I'd been saying it since I was a kid. Maybe I really didn'
t have anything to complain about all these years. Growing up, I had
food and shelter. I never feared a beating. No one messed with me as a
kid. If anything, I was ignored. Was that enough to complain about
though?
Off and on over the years, I attended the local Ellsberg schools with
kids from shittier homes than mine. Some kids at school could barely
sit down because they'd taken such a beating from mom or dad the
night before. Others enjoyed their only warm meals at school because
their parents pissed away their food stamps on junk for themselves.
Ratty clothes were the norm. A few kids came from nicer homes like
the Johanssons. However, most of the better families sent their kids to
the Catholic School to keep them away from the trashier elements. My
dad didn' t want to waste the money.
This was probably a good decision since school never interested me.
Restless as a kid, I spent every recess doing laps around the
playground. I blew through homework after school, so I could ride my
bike around town. I never knew why I felt trapped, but life suffocated
me.
So my problems were of the rich kid variety. A cold mom and asshole
dad wouldn't leave me hungry or black and blue. They just left me
wanting.
These days, I saw my father in passing. Once at the golf course when
Cooper invited me to come along with him and Aaron. I'd occasionally
see Dad's newest wife at the store. Margo was an odd bird. Sometimes,
she'd wave excitedly at me. Other times, she acted as if I was a stranger.
Didn't matter since she never meant anything to me. The woman spent
the first year of marriage to my dad calling me David.
Margo came with two daughters. One was a raving bitch. The other
was a sweet, yet tough little broad. I'd always like Lark more. She was
easier to talk to because her mouth wasn't on bitch twenty-four seven
like Raven's. Lately, they'd both become friends. I even found Raven
funny, rather than obnoxious. Well, she was obnoxiously funny
anyway.
So I had nothing to complain about really. When Dad cut me off

for taking Lark's side over his, I thought my new business was dead in
the water. Instead, I received jobs from the Johanssons who controlled
much of Ellsberg. My business expanded quickly and I'd recently hired
Nick Davies to help me manage projects.
Most of my guys bullshitted nonstop, but Nick focused on his work and
kept to himself. He was the polar opposite of a guy like Cooper.
The Johanssons made their money the illegal way and had the muscle
of the Reapers Motorcycle Club to ensure people behaved. If Cooper
walked into a room, crapped on the floor, and claimed you'd done it,
you' d apologize to him. Such power made men assholes and Cooper
certainly had his moods. Nick was the only guy I knew who didn' t fall
for them either.
I ignored Nick' s silent unreadable ways and enjoyed his competence. If
I told him to do something, it got done. He didn't complain. Never
made excuses. However when he needed to do something for his
woman, I knew never to disagree. Not when Nick's woman was a
Johansson.
Like many days, Bailey joined us for lunch and explained to me how
smart she was. Normally, I ignored her big mouth, but two words drew
my attention. Winnie Todds.
"She's taking care of Lark which was my idea," Bailey said, dipping a
French fry into an enormous gob of ketchup. "I knew she'd be really
good at that. I have a way of knowing what people need. Being
perceptive is my new thing."
As usual, I nodded at everything she said. Nick sat next to her, eating a
burger with one hand and caressing her blonde hair with his other.
"Does she like the job?" Nick asked.
"Yeah. Winnie has a gentle way about her and likes taking care of
people."
Nodding again, I thought about Winnie's shy little smile. I imagined
running my fingers through her long brown hair. Her sad hazel eyes
broke my heart every time. Winnie was a slice of heaven here on earth
and I missed seeing her every day on the worksite like when she'd come
by and help her mom.

"Winnie needs a man," Bailey announced.
Immediately agitated at the idea of Bailey setting up my girl with some
asshole, I frowned at her.
"She needs someone gentle though," Bailey said, staring right at me.
"You were gentle with her when Nick's dad and those fuckers showed
up. You got her to give you the knife. Yeah, you might work. Want me
to set you two up?"
Yes! I wanted to scream yes, but I didn't think Winnie was ready to date
anyone. She was different when we first met. Shy, but confident in a
way she wasn't these days. First the Devils showed up then Nick's dad
harassed Winnie. Since then, she hid in her house more these days and I
rarely saw her. When I did catch a glimpse of her, she barely managed a
hello.
If a smile was too much for her to handle, a date would end in disaster.
"I don't think Winnie should date anyone until she's feeling stronger," I
muttered.
"Having a guy might help her confidence. I remember how insecure I
was before Nick loved me," Bailey said, smiling at her man. "These
days I'm strong. Before Nick, I was a delicate flower."
We all laughed at the idea of Bailey ever being the least bit delicate.
The girl left the womb telling people what to do.
Yet she worked well with Nick. They fit like people sometimes just fit.
I'd never seen anyone in my family work that way. My mom and dad
had a dozen spouses between them. No one lasted, but I suspected
Bailey and Nick would. He knew how to tolerate her big mouth. Bailey
always made him smile and I noticed how his shoulders relaxed when
she was nearby. People who fit didn't need to make sense on paper.
I wanted to fit like that with Winnie.
Every night, I drove by Oak Street before going home. The
neighborhood was in the most established parts of Ellsberg. Tree lined
and quiet, the street was also filled with cars. My SUV wasn't
noticeable in the midst of a block full of vehicles.
Never once did I fool myself into thinking sitting in the darkness and
watching Winnie's house was normal. I didn't give a shit about

normal though. I needed to relax and nothing soothed me after a long
day like knowing Winnie was nearby. I rarely saw her except for when
she walked to the street to get the mail. Yet even hidden inside the
house, she was enough to calm me.
After awhile, I got into the habit of picking up dinner and eating in the
SUV. What started with driving past her house soon turned into
spending hours in my car. After eating, I'd kick off my shoes, listen to a
CD, and study the few photos I had of Winnie on my phone. Whenever
stressed about all my new responsibilities, I closed my eyes and
imagined Winnie sitting with me. Her beautiful eyes watching me. Her
soft lips kissing mine. Her always bruised hands touching my face. I
had so many questions. What was she doing? What did she have for
dinner? Did she ever think about me? Dreaming about Winnie eased
my anxieties until I was chilling in the dark car.
Each night, I struggled to leave. My apartment felt sterile and lonely.
Even stuck in the cold SUV, I belonged to Winnie. I remembered how
she smiled at me when we first met. How she checked me out while I
worked. How she blushed when I caught her checking me out. Before
the assholes came to Ellsberg, I was ready to ask her out. Now I was
forced to sit in my car and wonder if I'd ever get another chance.
Winnie was special. She made the world better, but she wasn't mine
and I didn't know if she ever could be. I rarely saw her anymore and life
was too stressful without her presence.
In the cold evening, my chest scar throbbed. Sometimes, the healing
wound itched like crazy. Holding my hand over the wound eventually
warmed it enough to stop the pain.
As the temperature dropped, I thought about my mother's call earlier
that day. We hadn't spoken in months, but Mom wanted me to know
she was getting married again. Every time, she announced a new
husband, she acted as if she'd finally found her Prince Charming.
Except evil queens like my mother never found their fairytale endings.
More likely, she'd end up alone after the guy disappointed her. No one
was ever good enough. Nothing ever satisfied.
Knowing I wouldn' t sleep well away from her, I turned off the SUV
around eleven and climbed in the backseat. With a pillow and

blanket, I created a makeshift bed. Eventually, someone was bound to
notice me and become concerned. My stalking ways would be common
knowledge and Winnie would stop smiling at me. Until then, I needed
her to keep the anger and stress away.
Waking the next morning in an awkward position, I straightened up
and studied Winnie's house. The 1960's style ranch looked welcoming
in the faint sunlight. Imagining Winnie curled up in bed, I suspected
she slept with a stuffed animal under a mountain of covers. She seemed
like the kind of girl who needed help being soothed.
Fucked up in our own ways, we weren't so different. Winnie might be
damaged like I wasn't, but she had a warm family to keep her sane. I
was stronger, but alone in a world that didn't see me most days.
Together, I suspected we'd compliment each other. Make sense like
Nick and Bailey did.
In the mornings, as I drove home to shower and prepare for a new day,
the reality of my situation struck me. Winnie was beautiful and she
smiled at me in the best way. Except she was locked away in her private
life and I had no way to get to her. I couldn't ask her out. I could only sit
outside her house every night and dream of things never about to
happen.
This was my life now - falling asleep with big dreams, only to wake up
to stark realities.
I picked up breakfast at Dairy Queen and noticed a cute girl checking
me out. Without the mohawk, I wasn't as intimidating and girls were
always smiling at me. Sometimes, I wished one of them could distract
me from Winnie. They weren't her though and no one else would do.
Back at work, I doubted Winnie and I could fit like Nick and Bailey. I
wasn't a sensitive guy and she needed gentle. I wanted her, but I wanted
her to be happy more.
Once at work, I glanced around Cooper's future office which had
become the project that kept on giving. The old building had one
problem after another. Cooper's solution was to say, "fix it" and leave
the details to me. By the time I'd be finished, the place would be like
new.
"Nice hammer," Harlow said from behind me.

"Hey," I said, glancing around casually to see if Winnie was with her.
"Nice shiner."
"You should see the other chick," she muttered. "Can we talk?"
Setting down my hammer, I followed her away from the other guys.
Harlow seemed tense and I worried something was wrong with Winnie.
"This is awkward and I feel weird coming here like this," she said,
pushing her blonde hair behind her ears. "Are you dating anyone?"
My breath caught. A fear rose up in my chest at the thought of Harlow
wanting to date me. What would that mean for me and Winnie? The
look in Harlow's eyes calmed my terror. I might as well have been a
brick wall based on the lack of attraction she showed.
"No."
"Some girl was hugging you outside a restaurant. Wasn't that a
date?"
Frowning, I scratched at my jaw where I forgot to shave that morning.
"That was a girl from high school. She might have been into me, but we
went out as friends. I'm not dating anyone."
"Winnie saw you with that girl and she got really upset. I know she's
not ready to have a boyfriend, but she wants you. Do you want
her?"
Playing it cool might be the stud move, but I didn't want to be a player.
I wanted Winnie. Besides, for the second time in twenty four hours,
someone close to Winnie wanted to play matchmaker.
"Yes."
Harlow nodded. "She's messed up. You know that, right?" "I know
she's fragile, yeah."
"Winnie has a lot of phobias. Not stupid shit for attention, but real
chronic problems that won't go away because you're hot. She's been in
therapy for years and gotten stronger, but she'll never be okay."
"I understand."
Harlow bit her lip then nodded again. "Do you want to take her out to
dinner tomorrow?" "Yes."
Harlow smiled. "You better be chattier than that on the date or else

no one will say anything. Winnie likely won't say anything all night,
but that doesn't mean she doesn't want to. She just takes a long time to
warm up to people."
I wasn't sure what Harlow saw on my face, but she grinned.
"She really wants to warm up to you, Dylan. Don't fuck it up,
okay?"
"I'll do my best."
When Harlow narrowed her eyes, I was pretty sure she might hit me. "I
appreciate the way you tried to save us that day. You showed balls and
I respect that. With that said, you better be taking this seriously,
understand?"
Leaning closer, I stared right into those suspicious eyes. "No one
makes me feel like Winnie. If she needs to take it slow, we'll go slow. If
she wants to rush into it, we'll rush. If she needs me to stand on my
fucking head and sing the National Anthem, I'll do it. So yes, I'm taking
this very seriously," I said, running a hand where short dark stubble
took the place of my mohawk. "I told Winnie I would wait and I meant
it. What you think is me being passive is just patience."
"Okay," Harlow said softly. "You know when I came to Ellsberg, I was
pretty messed up. My family was dead and I was in this new place with
strangers. Winnie took care of me. She became my sister and best
friend. I love her like she's blood. Nothing personal, but if you hurt her,
I'll have to kill you."
"Fair enough," I said, grinning.
"Smile all you want, buddy, but I've got moves."
Harlow faked a punch, but I didn't flinch. My mind was already
focused on tomorrow. I hadn't talked to Winnie since the day Nick's
dad showed up. I hadn't seen her close up in weeks. I needed to be close
to her even if she couldn't do more than hide behind her hair all night.
Chapter Three ~ Winnie
Lark Barnes wasn't much older than me, yet she was married and
pregnant with twins. On bed rest for the last few months, she was
trapped in her updated Craftsman-style house. Thanks to Bailey, my
new

job involved caring for Lark during the day.
Petite with spiky dark hair, Lark needed the help too. She was all belly
these days. In fact when I arrived at the house that morning, I found her
stuck in bed.
"I' m beached!" she cried as I entered the bedroom.
After a little effort, I tugged her out of the bed and helped her into the
bathroom. While she cleaned up, I started a load of laundry and let out
her two English Bulldogs into the backyard.
"I vaguely remember having a waist," Lark said, waddling into the
room. "I could see my feet too. They weren't great feet, but I liked
looking at them."
"You'll see them soon then you won't appreciate it. All the stuff that
bothers you now will become a faint memory once you have the
babies."
"How do you know?" she said, teasing me. "You read that in a book? I
get enough know-it-all crap from Raven who watched a TV show and
is therefore an expert."
I brought her a glass of low fat milk and English muffins with low fat
cream. Lark frowned at the food then smiled up at me.
"If I sound bitchy, blame the hormones. You didn't know me before I
was preggers, but I was a saint."
Grinning, I handed her the remote and placed a pillow under her
feet.
"I had a baby a few years ago," I said softly, maybe hoping she
wouldn't hear.
Lark' s green eyes studied me. Normally, I would feel judged, but not
with her. Despite her hormones, Lark was incredible sweet.
"What happened?" she asked, taking my hand.
"A family from Bowling Green adopted him."
A moment passed while Lark and I watched each other. She wanted
details, but I didn't want to give them. Being smart, Lark backed
off.
"I'll let the dogs back in," I said when she remained silent. Afterwards,
I fed Professor and Pollock, folded laundry, changed the bedding, and
headed to the store to pick up food. Returning an hour

later, I expected to find Lark dozing. Instead, she was laughing with
Harlow and Bailey.
"There's Winn Dixie," Bailey said. "I like how you have everyone
calling you Winnie now. My great ideas really take off."
Ignoring her comment, I smiled. "Hey, I can't believe you guys came
here to help me with the groceries. You're so generous."
Bailey smiled. "I'm a very kind person. Ask anyone."
After they helped me put away the groceries, I remained in the kitchen
with Bailey. We put together a huge salad for Lark, complete with
chicken, turkey sausage, cheese, raisins, and pickles. I used anything I
could find on the approved list of foods.
"This is nasty," Bailey whispered.
"She needs to eat a lot of calories, but only healthy stuff. This will fill
her up until she enjoys her only happy meal with Aaron at dinner." "I' m
never having kids," Bailey muttered.
When I stared at her, she stared back. Bailey was clearly daring me to
say what I was thinking. No way was I falling for that move.
Walking with the bowl into the living room, I found Lark frowning.
"Salads are puke inducing."
Harlow nodded until I frowned at her then she smiled. "I like salads."
"Nice save," Bailey teased.
Once Lark caught sight of all the goodies in her salad, she grinned at
me. "I love you, Winnie."
"We all do," Harlow said, standing up and tugging me towards the
door. "I'm going to love her on the porch."
Bailey wanted to come along, but Harlow put her hand up as if telling
our dog to stay. Though growling like Spud, Bailey obeyed.
"What's wrong?" I asked while we sat on the porch swing.
"I love you and would never do anything to hurt you."
Panic struck me even though I couldn't imagine what Harlow might
have done.
"You like Dylan and he likes you. The girl you saw him with wasn't a
date. He's waiting for you and I think we need to end the wait."
"You talked to him about that girl?"

"Yeah, I also asked him out for tomorrow night and he said yes." "You
asked him out?" I asked, frowning. "For you, dork."
Both happy and terrified by this news, I stared at my bruised hands. "I
don't know how to go on a date."
"You know how to talk to people. You even talked to Dylan before the
stuff happened with the Devils. All a date is you and him eating and
talking. Nothing hard about that."
"What do I wear?"
"I read on the internet the first date is always a pink track suit."
Laughing, I kicked her gently. "Did he seem like he was only saying
yes because you're pushy?"
Harlow squinted at me. "He likes you and this is his chance. The doofus
was salivating at the idea, so I didn't have to twist his arm."
Studying the quiet street, I thought about Dylan's hand on mine the day
in the car. Instead of grossing me out, his touch felt good. Even wanting
to feel good again, I was scared to do something stupid on the date.
"Don't cry," Harlow said, hugging me.
"I'll mess it up. I'll say something stupid or embarrassing. Maybe I
won't say anything at all and he'll think I'm a loser. If I mess this up, I
won't ever have another chance."
Harlow shushed me. "It's a date. Everyone says stupid things on dates
or spends the entire dinner with something stuck in their teeth. You're a
person and people are lame. Dylan will probably do stupid stuff too.
You just won't care because you think he's a sexy beast and want to
stare at him."
I gave her a little grin. "I do think he's sexy and staring at him is
fun."
"And he thinks you're sexy too. So sexy he likely won't care what you
say. Guys aren't really complicated," Harlow said then added, "Or so
I've heard."
Sighing, I wiped my eyes. "That girl he was hugging is prettier than
me."
"It doesn't matter if you think she's prettier because Dylan picked

you."
I hugged Harlow. "Thank you for doing this for me."
"You're not mad?"
"I'm too scared to be mad."
Harlow caressed my face between her banged up hands. "Don't be
afraid of Dylan. He's not a normal guy who doesn't understand you're
shy."
"I'm more than shy."
"He doesn't care," Harlow said, standing up. "Want to get dating advice
from Bailey and Lark?"
Pulling at her arm, I whispered, "No. I can't handle the pressure of
everyone knowing about the date."
"My lips are zipped."
We returned to the house and found Lark over halfway done with her
huge salad. Bailey sat at the end of the couch while massaging Lark's
feet.
"I' m a princess," Lark said with her mouth full.
We smiled at her happiness, but I knew she was exhausted from even
the smallest amount of effort.
"Everything okay?" Bailey asked suspicious now.
"Never better," Harlow responded. "Why don't we head out and leave
the quiet gals for their nap time?"
Likely thinking she would get info from Harlow once they were alone,
Bailey agreed to leave. Lark mumbled something to them then returned
to her salad.
"I don't care about manners," she told me once they were gone. "I used
to be nicer, but people show up then they leave without any rhyme or
reason. It's like they drop by to check on the fat chick and make sure I
haven't exploded yet. Then they go away. Oh, well. Once I get these
babies out of me, I'm going to show up at everyone's houses, eat their
food, and leave without warning. You just wait."
Sharing her smile, I suspected she would go through with her threats
and I didn't blame her. People were weird when someone was sick.
They worried at first then got bored and awkward when the illness didn'
t go away quickly.

Even with my issues, people tried to be supportive, yet they hoped I'd
get over it long before I ever did. I didn't blame them for losing
patience with me. I'd lost it plenty of times too. I only hoped I could
keep my problems in check during my date with Dylan.
Chapter Four ~ Dylan
After Harlow left the work site, my mind thought of nothing except the
impending date with Winnie. By the time I sat in my SUV and watched
her house, I convinced myself the date would go horribly. I would fuck
up and lose my shot forever.
Maybe I'd push her too hard or get too needy or ask the wrong
questions. My very presence might convince Winnie that I wasn't right
for her. My girl needed gentle and I wasn't really that guy. Hell, I
lacked the patience to have a damn dog.
When I arrived at her house the next evening, I was ready for the worst.
Jace Todds answered the door and frowned at me like I'd shit on the
carpet. The kid had a dark gaze that screamed future sociopath. I didn't
want to know what kind of douche he'd be in his teens. Yet he let me
inside after giving me the once over.
Moments later, Harlow appeared with Winnie hiding behind her. They
were both dressed in jeans, boots, and blue sweaters. Harlow looked
nice, but Winnie was like an angel with her long dark hair pulled up in
a ponytail. I couldn't tell if she was wearing makeup, but her lips were
pink and perfect.
A lot of men might have been upset to find their date unwilling to make
eye contact. Winnie's gaze was so focused on the floor that I thought
she might never look at me. I didn't care though. I needed to be near
her. Besides, the hope that one day she might look at me again was
enough to satisfy me.
Yet Winnie peeked at me and her gaze made my heart race. I was even
struggling against tightening jeans, but her father's appearance put an
end to that problem.
Tad Todds wasn't a big guy like many of the Reapers. He had a

wiry build, affable face, and dark red hair. Tad was a nice religious
fellow who would have me killed if I crossed him.
"Good news," Harlow said without looking too thrilled. "We're doing
the chaperone thing and I' m the third wheel. Yippee."
Tad smiled. "I thought since this was Winnie's first date that a
chaperone would be helpful."
"Okay," I said instantly.
I didn't give a shit if the whole family came along. I needed to be close
to Winnie. Looking pleased with my agreement, Tad hugged Winnie
then Harlow.
"You girls be home by eleven."
Harlow saluted him then took Winnie's hand and headed for the door. I
followed them into the cold evening. Tugging her coat tighter, Winnie
shivered then looked upward. Harlow and I followed her gaze to find a
star-filled sky.
"Where are we eating?" Harlow asked.
"I don't care," I said. "I mean, wherever you want."
"Is Red Lobster too expensive because I could really go for stuffed
flounder?"
Giving her a slight smile, I focused my gaze on Winnie who was still
looking up at the stars. "Red Lobster will be great."
Winnie suddenly looked at me and smiled for only a moment before
turning away. The moment was enough for me to live off for an
eternity.
In the SUV, Harlow sat in the backseat then leaned over the seat to play
buffer between Winnie and me.
"You like this old 1970's music, huh?" Harlow asked, making
conversation since Winnie couldn't.
"Yeah. My dad always hates it, so I knew it must be good."
"Your dad is on the city council, right? The tall guy who smells likes
peppers."
I grinned at Harlow and nodded. "He does smell like peppers. It's his
cologne."
"I personally wouldn't know, but that's how Mom described him. She's
not a fan."

"Few people are."
"He owns a car dealership too. Car salesmen are notoriously sneaky.
Are you sneaky, Dylan?"
Winnie had been staring out of the window until this last question. She
frowned at Harlow whose grin widened.
"Yeah, I'm sneaky," I said, glancing at the two of them.
"Honest though. Good to know."
Winnie's frown eased and she returned to staring outside.
"As you probably know," Harlow continued, "Bailey gifted Winnie to
Lark who is on bed rest. I am happy to report that Winnie loves her new
job and looks forward to helping with the twins."
When I smiled at Winnie, she kept her head down. I did catch her
grinning though.
"Next week, I'm turning Aaron's gym into a nursery. Doing the project
myself to make sure it gets done right."
"Well let's hope this date goes well. Can you imagine how awkward it'll
be for you and Winnie to see each other, if you mess up and order the
wrong thing at dinner?"
Now I frowned at Harlow who leaned back into the seat. "What a
shame it would be for you to make that mistake."
Concerned, I struggled to remember if the Todds had a religious
problem with any foods. I studied Harlow in the rearview and found her
grinning. When I peeked at Winnie, she was smiling too.
"She's messing with you," Winnie whispered.
"Well it worked."
When Winnie covered her mouth and laughed, Harlow sat forward
again and nudged my shoulder.
"I got her to talk, didn't I?" Harlow said. "Yeah, I have a way of making
people do what I want. I really ought to be a shrink," she added, sitting
back into her seat. "Or a con artist."
"Or a car salesman," Winnie whispered.
Harlow laughed. "That's cold."
I smiled at the sisters teasing each other. Winnie caught me watching
them and the confidence deflated out of her. Crossing her arms, she
stared out of the window. I thought I caught her pinching her hands

too.
"Baby steps," Harlow said from the backseat.
The rest of the drive was silent except for the radio. A song by Joan Jett
inspired foot tapping from the sisters. I memorized everything about
Winnie. How she pulled at her long fingers. The little waves in her long
dark hair. How she bit her full bottom lip.
When we arrived at the restaurant, Harlow took Winnie's hand and
hurried ahead of me. I ran around them to open the door.
"Ah, he's a gentleman," Harlow said and Winnie grinned behind her
hand.
Once seated, I tried to care about the menu, but my mind was on
Winnie.
"Here's the deal," Harlow said to me. "Winnie doesn't order for herself.
Can't do it. I would do it, but I'm not her date. You'll need to be all
macho and order for her."
Winnie frowned at Harlow, but I could see she was only partly
embarrassed. I sensed she was happy to have her sister helping with the
date.
"What does she want to eat?" I asked Harlow while looking at Winnie.
To my shock, Winnie held my gaze while Harlow explained the order.
No way could I look away when my obsession focused on me. We
stared at one another until the waitress appeared.
"Do you like your work, Dylan?" Harlow asked after we ordered.
"Sometimes. I don't love all the managing stuff. Being a boss is a pain,
but taking orders is worse. I like the hands on stuff better."
"What about it do you like?" Harlow asked, looking completely
uninterested in my answer.
Winnie cared though. I even wondered if these questions were agreed
upon before the date.
"When I was a kid, I spent hours building with LEGOs. I liked taking
things apart, figuring out how they worked, and putting them back
together. These days, my favorite jobs are fixing up a broken down
house. I have a few I bought and am renovating now. I'm thinking
about keeping one to live in since my apartment building is filling up
with

college idiots."
"Fascinating," Harlow mumbled while checking her phone. "Winnie,
did you play with LEGOs as a kid?"
"I don't really remember," she whispered. "I have a bad memory." "I
can't spell for shit," I said and Winnie's eyes lit up. "Spelling is
overrated." "Childhood memories are the same way."
Winnie smiled like I was magic. Hell, if I didn't feel the same way
about her.
"Heartwarming," Harlow said, standing up. "I'm going to pee." "Should
I go too?" Winnie asked, alarmed. "No, just hold it."
Winnie frowned until Harlow winked at her and walked away.
Returning her gaze to me, she exhaled uneasily.
"I' m sorry my dad made us have a chaperone."
Winnie was clearly lying, so she'd seem normal. I didn't give a crap
about average especially when the alternative was this beautiful
creature.
My fingers tingled, desperate to feel her skin against mine. Reaching
across the table, I placed my hand over her bruised one. Winnie's gaze
locked onto mine and I waited to see if she freaked.
"The girl I was with was a friend. You need to know I meant it when I
said I'd wait."
"I have no right to worry about who you're with. We're not together,"
Winnie mumbled, likely thinking of Sera.
"If I saw you with someone, I'd go fucking nuts. I'd want to tear his
head off," I said then added, "We're on a date, so that means we're
together now, right?"
Winnie nodded, yet her expression was filled with uncertainty. Once
her eyes focused on me, she whispered, "I like that you'd be jealous if I
dated another guy."
Nearly leaping across the table to kiss her sexy pink lips, I forced my
ass to remain in the chair. Spooking Winnie wasn't an option when I
was so close to getting what I needed.
Whatever Winnie saw on my face both freaked her out and made

her smile ever so slightly.
"I have bad taste in women," I blurted out and Winnie's smile faded,
thinking I meant her. "Every girl I liked was either a super bitch or
clearly off-limits. You're the first good woman I've ever cared about
and I' ll wait however long it takes for you to be ready."
Winnie's expressive hazel eyes lit up like a kid on Christmas. The
emotions I saw calmed me in a way I didn't think possible.
She remained bright-eyed after Harlow returned to ask more
childhood-related questions. I doubted Winnie heard my answers. I
sensed she was repeating the last sentence in her head. I know I was and
I meant every word.
Chapter Five ~ Winnie
Even feeling guilty Harlow was stuck playing interrogator for me, I
wished the date would never end. My sister made the best of the
situation while I enjoyed the sound of Dylan's voice. He could read the
phone book in his deep voice and I'd never get bored.
Eventually, we finished eating. With our curfew approaching, Dylan
drove us home.
Harlow sighed when we parked in the driveway. "You have ten
minutes then I'm sending Dad out," she said, climbing of out the SUV.
Once she shut the door, I looked at Dylan who watched me in the dark
car. His strong jaw clenched and I worried I'd done something to upset
him.
"Thank you for dinner."
"I want to see you again," he said then added, "Soon." "I have to ask my
dad," I mumbled, overwhelmed by my need to be close to Dylan.
When his gaze found me in the dark car, my skin flushed under the heat
of his desire. "If you're not ready, I'll wait for as long as it takes. No one
else will do. It has to be you."
"Why?"
Dylan leaned closer and I struggled not to pull away. "Why not?" he
whispered, leaning down to kiss me.

Jerking away without thinking, I pinched the top of my hand hard.
Dylan reacted like a normal person and rested back in his seat. I saw
disappointment, maybe even anger, on his face.
"Sorry," he said and I realized he was irritated with himself instead of
me.
"I want to," I whispered, losing my voice. "I want you."
Even remaining perfectly still, Dylan's demeanor immediately shifted.
"That's all I need to hear. I'll wait."
Inching closer, I pinched my forearm to keep me from chickening out. I
needed this moment to be better. If I left his SUV and walked inside
without my first real kiss, the regret would eat at me.
Facing him, I lifted my lips and closed my eyes. Dylan's breath smelled
a bit like cheesecake and I smiled at the aroma. When his lips touched
mine, I wanted to pull away and hide in my house. I feared my ugly
rising up inside me. I hated being touching and this was the worst kind
of touching.
Except I needed Dylan and this was my chance. Holding myself still, I
enjoyed the tenderness of his touch. His full lips sucked softly at mine,
causing me to shiver. I knew he wanted more. His hunger filled the air,
but he didn't push more than I could take. As he pulled away, Dylan
studied my face as if wanting to remember it always.
"When can I see you again?"
"Tomorrow," I said instantly.
Dylan's cocky smile set off every nerve in my body. My lust terrified
me. He leaned forward to kiss me again and I nearly pulled away.
Likely sensing my fear, he only rested his forehead against mine.
"I think about you all the time. The waiting kills me, but you're worth
it."
My heart pounding so hard, I could barely breathe. My arousal and
panic made me lightheaded until my fight or flight instinct kicked in. I
always ran.
"I should walk you to the door before Tad comes looking for you."
Nodding, I was ready to run inside and lock the door. As much as I
wanted Dylan, I felt a million hands clawing at me. As if exposed and
under threat, I needed to scrub away those fears.

I climbed out of the SUV and nearly ran for the door. Fighting the urge,
I walked slowly next to Dylan while pinching hard at my arms.
"I wouldn't hurt you," he said without looking at me. "I hope you're not
scared of me."
"I' m not," I whispered.
"You're just scared."
"The past sticks to me and I can't wash it off." "My past makes me act
like an asshole sometimes. You should be ready for that."
Despite my fear, his comment made me laugh. We reached the front
door and I struggled to remain calm. I needed away from him as much
as I craved to be closer.
Dylan watched me for a minute. "Do you like movies? If we go to a
movie tomorrow, you won't have to worry about talking. Would you
like that?"
Unable to speak, I nodded.
"I'll text you in the morning with info."
Dylan slowly wrapped his arms around me and I forced myself to lean
into his embrace. I both hated and loved the feel of him. The confusion
in my head was too much and I stepped back.
"Is it me?" he asked, shoving his hands into his jeans pockets. "Did I do
something?"
Shaking my head, I stared into his eyes with my wet ones. "It's
me."
"Do you still want to go to the movies tomorrow?"
Once I nodded immediately, his expression softened. "First dates are
tough, huh?"
I smiled and shuffled towards the door. "I'll do better tomorrow."
Dylan watched me disappear inside. Once the door was shut behind
me, I felt all the panic take over.
"Did he do something?" Harlow asked as I ran past her to my
room.
I heard her talking to my parents, but I never slowed down. Ripping off
my clothes, I hurried into the shower even before the water was warm.
The soap scrubbed away the bad feelings left behind by an

ugly past I didn't remember. My mind though focused on Dylan.
His cologne was subtle and I still smelled it in my hair from our hug. I
remembered his hot breath against my skin and how perfectly straight
his teeth were when he smiled.
I loved his smile and the sound of his voice. I loved the slight stubble I
felt against my face when we kissed. I loved how his calloused fingers
were always tender. Dylan was perfection, but I didn't stop washing
until I couldn't smell or feel him anymore.
Emerging from the shower, I found Harlow sitting on the closed
toilet.
"Explain," she said, looking haunted. "Mom and Dad think something
bad happened or that you're not ready. Tell me they're wrong and I
didn't fuck up by setting up this date."
Wrapping myself in a towel, I stared at my sister and thought about
how clueless she was about men. Maybe even more clueless than me.
At least, I had a crush on a guy. Harlow planned to keep her vagina
closed to business forever.
I tipped my head over, spraying her with water from my hair.
"Hey," she grumbled.
I wrapped my hair then stood up. "Dylan kissed me and tasted really
good."
"So why are you scrubbing yourself that way?"
"My head wants him to touch me, but my body hates it. I forced my
body to deal with the touching then I gave it a shower as a reward."
I walked into the bedroom where Mom fluffed my pillows.
"Are you okay?"
"I really like Dylan."
Mom nodded then took the towel I dropped once slipping into my long
flannel nightgown.
"We're going to the movies tomorrow." "You'll take Harlow or Jace
with you."
I glanced back at a frowning Harlow. "I don't want to take Jace." "Then
I guess I'm going to the movies. Better not be anything lame."
Once Harlow left the room, I stood with Mom who studied me.

"Maybe you're not ready."
"Maybe I'll never be ready. I like Dylan and he's right now. I can't
wait."
"Is he pressuring you?"
"No," I said, taking Cookie Monster off the shelf and sitting him next to
me on the bed. "Dylan is patient. Sweet too. Most guys wouldn't be
okay with having a chaperone. He didn't care. He just wanted to hang
out with me."
Mom smiled. "Sweet is good. Your dad is sweet. He'll punch a guy in
the face for looking at my ass too. Complicated is best." "Dylan is
complicated." "Then I'm glad you're dating him."
Nodding, I knew Mom wanted to leave and reassure Dad. I wanted her
to do the same. Dad might be a man of God, but he had no problem with
his club dishing out biblical vengeance.
I had found a rerun of The Big Bang Theory when Harlow returned in
her pajamas. She climbed under the blankets and rested her head on my
shoulder.
"Dating is a lot of work. Sure you want to keep doing it?"
"I' m sorry you have to come with me tomorrow, but I like Dylan and I
like how he likes me."
"He's nice, Winnie, but he's a guy. They want stuff we can't give them."
The thought of having sex made my stomach clench. Yet remembering
Dylan's lips on mine, I smiled.
"He said I'm a good woman. Not hot, but good. A guy wanting me
because he thinks I'm hot won't last. Dylan sees good in me. I like that."
"Men lie," Harlow said quietly.
"I know," I whispered, handing her the doll. "You're having a bad
night."
"I don't want a guy touching me ever."
"I felt the same way until Dylan. Now I want him to touch me even if it
scares me."
Harlow glanced at me and saw me smiling. "I'll go to the movies, but
this time you have to do more of the talking. I can't fake a good

personality two days in a row."
I laughed as we moved farther under the covers. "I wanted to touch
Dylan's face tonight. I'm going to try and do it tomorrow."
"Good luck with that. I wanted to ignore both of you and play games on
my phone. I'm going to try and do that tomorrow."
Laughing again, we turned off the light and watched TV. I didn't doze
off for hours, but finally dreamed of Dylan working on a house while I
watched from a distance. He seemed so far away until the end of the
dream when I turned around and found him watching me. His smile
erased my fears.
Chapter Six ~ Dylan
After Winnie went into the house, I forced myself to go home. This
plan lasted for an hour before I was driving past the Todds's house on
my way to a Whiskey Kirk's.
I' d started visiting the bar because of my stepsister Raven. Her
husband was the enforcer for the Reapers Motorcycle Club. Normally,
I wouldn't want to hang around men so willing to kill a guy for
offending them. Except I took a bullet to the chest while trying to
protect Harlow and Winnie. This led to me being part of the crew,
making me accepted and protected.
Like most Friday nights, Vaughn and Raven were at the bar. In a corner
booth, they sat with Reapers enforcer Judd and his wife Tawny. As I
approached, Raven remained oblivious. She was too busy fending off
Vaughn's tickling hands. Next to them, Judd and Tawny ignored the
racket while whispering to each other.
Judd noticed me first and threw a handful of peanuts at Vaughn who
was getting his ponytail yanked on by a ticklish Raven.
"Dick," Vaughn muttered, fixing his hair and wiping peanut shells off
his shirt.
Raven adjusted her tee and smiled at me. "Hey, bro. Hair's growing out
nicely."
Rolling my eyes, I pulled a chair over and sat down. "Am I
interrupting?"

"Yeah," Judd said immediately. "Thanks because these two are fucking
idiots."
Vaughn grinned. "Ignore his bad mood. We kicked their asses at pool a
few minutes before you got here. His ego is still weeping the tears of a
fool."
Judd flipped off Vaughn who acted shocked. The women laughed then
I knew Raven was going to bug me the way only she could.
"Why are you alone on a Friday night? Don't tell me the mohawk was
your bait to get dates."
"Why do people in relationships obsess over those who aren't?"
"Pity," Raven said without missing a beat.
"I know a girl," Tawny suggested. "I met her when I worked at
Denny's. She's a friend of Lark's too. Oh, and she's cute."
I shook my head while ordering a beer from the waitress.
"Are you still hung up on Lark?" Raven asked, squinting at me. "She's
sort of taken and currently gestating a litter."
Vaughn snorted at the word, "litter."
"My friend from Denny's likes to bowl," Tawny said, instantly making
her more appealing to Vaughn.
I didn't see any reason to hide the fact that I was dating Winnie. No
other guy in his right mind would keep a hot girlfriend a secret.
"I just came from having dinner with Winnie," I said, remaining silent
about Harlow playing my chaperone.
The four of them instantly lost their smiles and studied me. Keeping it a
secret was the smarter route.
"How'd that go?" Raven asked.
"Good. Thanks for asking."
I took few long swigs of beer and nearly finished the bottle before
Vaughn cleared his throat.
"You need to be careful with that one. She is club protected like Bailey.
Do wrong by Winona and you're toast."
"She prefers the name Winnie and why would I wrong her?"
Raven looked worried about me. While her concern was endearing, I
didn't look forward to her advice.
"She's got great hair," was her brilliant addition to the

conversation.
I smiled. "She's beautiful." "Careful," Vaughn whispered.
"Is she protected because she's the daughter of a Reaper?" Tawny
asked. "Wouldn't all the kids be protected, so what's the big deal about
Winnie?"
"Kirk found her and claimed her as Reapers family," Judd said.
Tawny and Raven frowned at him while I tried to act disinterested.
Judd pretended like he didn't notice their interest until Vaughn kicked
him and the two growled at each other.
"Dish, bitch," Vaughn demanded.
"I'll throw the rest of these fucking peanuts at you, fuckwad."
"Whatever. I could use the snack."
Judd rolled his eyes and glanced at me. "This was before my time, but I
heard about it from Kirk's guys. So there was a club called the Vandals
from Mississippi who moved out this way when they got in trouble
with the law. The president was a guy named Sugar Bum, if you can
believe it. He thought he was a badass and his club was full of young
thugs he recruited from prisons. When they came into Kirk's territory,
they shoved aside people approved by the Reapers."
Judd glanced around to make sure the bar was full of club loyalists.
"So they come to Kentucky and take out a few dealers and meth labs.
Kirk doesn't micromanage shit in the state. The club gives approval to
certain groups to work his area for a piece of their profits. If the groups
don' t pay up, they get forcibly replaced. The Vandals showed up and
acted like they didn't need to kiss the ring," Judd said, leaning back and
wrapping an arm around Tawny.
Vaughn gave me a dark look. "Everyone kisses the ring."
"These Vandals fucks keep doing what they're doing until Kirk decides
he's going to do what he does," Judd continued. "Let's just say that back
in the day in Memphis, the old man didn't do accounting work. The
Vandals might have been badasses in Mississippi, but they died just
like anyone else who doesn't kiss the ring. Anyway, the club was living
out of a shitty motel when the Reapers caught up with them. While
doing a cleanup of the place, Kirk found Winnie."

Tawny leaned her head against her husband's chest and I saw
something dark in her eyes that reminded me of Winnie.
"Kirk found out her dad sold her to the club to pay a debt. No one could
find her mom, so he brought her to Tad and Toni who had taken in
another orphan a few years back."
Raven frowned at this information, so Judd explained. "You know
Beckett doing time for punching a fat guy at the fair? Tucker's best
friend. The stupid guy."
Raven shrugged. "Stupid people blur together for me."
Judd rolled his eyes. "So Tad and Toni took in Winnie."
"Poor kid," Raven said, giving Tawny a quick glance.
The enforcers focused their glares on me, but I wasn't intimidated. Not
if they planned to tell me to stay away from Winnie. Losing her wasn't
even an option.
"Winnie is a pretty good bowler," Vaughn finally said and Judd glared
at him. "What? So few of you shitheads can bowl. I'm sick of my
woman being the only one to challenge me. What happens when she
gets all round with my seed?"
"Seed?" Raven said, laughing. "I like when you use medical terms."
Vaughn finished his beer then started tickling Raven again. She
squirmed under the table, knocking against it and spilling Judd's beer.
"Fuck it," he said, standing up. "I'm playing pool."
Tawny joined her husband. "Wanna play, Dylan? Those two will be at
it for a while. Apparently, they just recently figured out Raven's
ticklish."
"Don't be fooled!" Vaughn yelled over Raven's laughter. "Tawny and
Judd will ditch you the minute one of them looks at the other one for
too long and the need to fuck overwhelms them."
"I'll take my chances," I said, following Judd and Tawny to a table.
After a few minutes, I felt Tawny watching me. While she'd always
been friendly, I never felt comfortable around her. Mainly because her
husband killed people. He was like Vaughn without the silly one-liners.
"You really like Winnie."

Unable to respond without giving away how much I cared for Winnie, I
just nodded.
"She might seem cold sometimes or maybe she pushes you away even
though you sense she wishes you were closer. Be patient and she'll find
a way to get close."
"I will," I said, smiling at her advice. "Winnie is like no one I've ever
met and I'll wait for her."
"Patience is the key," Judd said, wrapping an arm around Tawny. "My
woman was patient with me and I finally came around. I didn't make it
easy for her though."
Tawny smirked. "Drama queen."
When Judd smiled down at her, Vaughn's prediction came true. I
disappeared from the world as Judd and Tawny's gazes locked on one
another. They left the bar without saying another word.
"Told you," Vaughn said, taking Judd's stick. "Happens every time."
"I resent how much hornier they are for each other," Raven whined. "I
mean I' m hot, right?"
Vaughn shrugged. "Sure, I guess."
"Asshole," she growled, tugging up at her shirt. "I'll flash the ladies for
everyone to see then take a poll about how hot I am."
Vaughn' s smile faded. "Mine. No one sees them."
Getting the response she wanted, Raven fixed her shirt. "Mine. Me like
woman. Me talk caveman. Me lack brain cell."
"I can't help that you make all the blood run out of my big head to my
other head."
"You're a poet."
"Yeah, I am, Jellybean."
Raven made her shot then gave me one of her looks. "Are you acting
clingy and weird around Winnie like you did with Lark?" "No," I
muttered. "My feelings for Lark were..." "Bizarre," Raven said when I
didn't finish.
"Misguided. I wanted her to be someone she isn't. With Winnie, I like
her the way she is."
Raven grinned. "That's pretty sweet. I didn't know you had it in

you."
"Winnie is special, so don't mess this up for me."
"Mess it up how?"
"Don't tell her the Lark thing."
"Yeah, that wasn't cool," Vaughn said. "Not only is Lark your sister,
she's also a midget." When Raven smacked his arm, he shrugged. "I
mean little person."
"Asshole. I'm giving you shitty sex tonight for that comment."
"Bet I won't even notice."
"Oh, you'll notice. Trust me about that."
Vaughn wrapped her in his arms. "I'll make it right. Don't stress it,
Twinkie."
Raven pushed him off and focused on me. "I'll keep your weird shit on
the DL. I'm sure Lark will too. We both want you to be happy."
"Thanks, Raven."
"Heartwarming," Vaughn said, wrapping her in his arms again. "I need
reassurance. Pay attention to me."
Raven gave me a wink then turned around in her husband's arms and
sucked on his tongue. They stayed at it for long enough that I felt the
need to finish my beer and leave.
Before going home, I drove past Winnie's house. I hoped she was
sleeping soundly and looking forward to our next date. After hearing
Judd' s story about the Vandals, I suspect Winnie might be having
second thoughts about us.
Chapter Seven ~ Winnie
Harlow had a lot of anger and thought roller derby might help her get it
out in a productive way. The problem was she wasn't a great skater, so
she asked Raven for help.
I didn't want to join the Storm Babes, but I decided to come along to
watch her train. Bailey also wanted to join us. In the chaos of making
plans, I agreed to bring Jace along. He wasn't thrilled.
"Hey, kid," Bailey said, looking at Jace. "Sawyer is also a child. Be
friends and play together, so I can ignore her and pay attention to

Winnie."
Jace frowned darkly as Sawyer took his hand. "I don't want to
skate."
"No one cares," Sawyer growled. "Don't let me fall." "Whatever you
say, princess."
I grinned at Jace, but he didn't share my amusement. Bailey rolled her
eyes at the kids then turned to me. "Nick still loves me."
"Why would he stop?" I asked, skating carefully into the rink.
"You've met me. I can be too amazing for some people. I wear them
down with my awesome until they want me dead. It happens."
As Bailey wrapped her arm through mine, we moved slightly faster.
"Nick isn't some people. He's your guy."
"Hell yeah," Bailey said, smiling. She opened her mouth to speak, but
paused as Harlow and Raven raced by.
"Faster! " Raven yelled and I saw Harlow pushing herself.
"Nuts," Bailey muttered then grinned at me. "Anyway, I heard you had
a date with Dylan. Are you in love yet?"
"It doesn't work like that."
"How do you know?"
I shrugged. "We're going to the movies tonight." "Bringing the
chaperone?" Bailey asked, gesturing to Harlow racing around the rink
and trying to keep up with Raven. "Yes."
"You know that's weird, right?" "It's Dad's idea."
"Being a pastor's daughter can't be easy. Men are so protective of their
daughters. I won't be like that with mine. I'll let them run the streets like
my sons."
Doubting Bailey would appreciate my response to her plan, I didn't
share it.
"I've never dated before, so Dad wants me to feel safe." "Fair enough,
but Dylan is a sexy guy who doesn't usually go on chaperoned dates. I
hope he doesn't get weird about it. He'd be missing

out on Winnie love."
I smiled, but her words freaked me out. Bailey glanced at her little
sister who was tugging at Jace.
"Faster, weenie," Sawyer barked.
Jace came to a stop and glared at her. She crossed her arms and glared
up at him. I watched them until Bailey pulled me out of the rink.
"Let's leave the lovers to quarrel without an audience," she said, sitting
down on a bench. "So how did it go with Dylan really?"
"Okay. He kissed me and I liked it, but I also got a little weird. I'm
hoping he didn't get mad about that."
"Raven told me Dylan came by the bar last night. She said you two
were dating and he was really into you. Like hump your leg into you. I
wouldn't worry that he's mad."
I smiled. "He's gentle, but not weak. I know that sounds stupid, but this
one guy from church in Tennessee liked me. He was really nice, but he
seemed weak and I didn't feel like he could protect me. I know I
shouldn't need protecting. Harlow doesn't. She punches people in the
face, but I get scared and panic. When my dad is around, I feel safe
though because I know he's tough. I feel that way with Dylan too."
"The guy did get shot trying to save you. He also attacked armed bikers
with a hammer. That's pretty manly."
Smiling, I watched Harlow struggling to keep up with Raven who
wasn't even breaking a sweat. I knew my sister wanted to be badass like
a man, but skating wasn't coming easy for her.
"We should double date," Bailey said. "Nick and I need to go out with a
couple that won't ditch us halfway through a meal because they're
horny."
"Maybe when I don't need a chaperone anymore." "Yeah, I' m not
looking to hang out with another couple plus a third wheel. No offense
to Harlow."
"She plans to live her life without a man."
"Good for her. Someone needs to take a stand against all this love shit
and it ain't gonna be me."
I shook my head. "I'm not in love with Dylan."
"You will be. Give it a date or two then I won't be able to pry you

off him."
Shuddering, I shook my head. "I don't think I can be comfortable with
sex ever. As much as I like Dylan, this thing won't last. I want it too, but
I can't have sex."
"You never know. In the beginning, Farah was frigid like Antarctica
and now she can't get enough of Coop's dong. If Dylan is sweet to you,
you might defrost all over him." Bailey and I shared a frown. "That
sounds gross, but you know what I mean."
"Maybe, but only time will tell, so I'm not over thinking it."
"Good for you. I always over think things. I can't stop thinking. It's why
I' m always right."
I squinted at her and she grinned. "I like when you think stuff about me,
but don't say them. Unlike Raven who blurts out her insults."
Laughing, we returned to the rink. I noticed Harlow in the death throes
while Raven dragged her by the hand. On the other end of the rink, Jace
skated quickly with Sawyer holding the back of his shirt. They seemed
to be having more fun than my sister who finally collapsed on her butt.
"I'm done."
"I blame Raven," Bailey said. "She's a really bad teacher." "Eat shit and
pickles, dumbass."
"See what I mean?" Bailey said to me while I helped Harlow up. "She
has no people skills."
Raven took a swipe at Bailey who screamed and skated very slowly
away.
"Not worth the effort," Raven said then went to skate with the kids.
"Are you okay?" I asked as Harlow and I stumbled to the bench.
"I'm so out of shape."
"No, you're not. Skating's hard."
"I definitely need more cardio."
Leaning her sweaty face against me, Harlow drank an entire bottle of
water.
"Nervous about tonight?" she asked. "No. You'll be there."
"I' m not asking him anything this time. You need to be chatty with

the boytoy."
"I don't know what to ask." "What do you want to know?" I shrugged.
"Ask him why he wears all those shirts with a bulldog on the front?
Maybe he has a fetish. You'll want to know that in case things move to
the marriage and baby carriage stages."
Smiling, I checked my watch and counted the hours before Dylan
would arrive at my house to pick me up for the movies. My stomach
lurched at the thought of seeing him again. Dread came first, but then a
warm sensation in my gut took over.
Dylan might be my Cooper Johansson, the guy who thawed my frigid
ways. While this wasn't the most romantic idea I'd ever heard, I still
prayed Bailey was right.
Chapter Eight ~ Dylan
The temperature dropped nearly twenty degrees from when I got up at
eleven to the time I arrived at the Todds's house at five. I zipped up my
dark brown leather jacket then knocked on the door.
Jace answered and gave me the once over before letting me inside. I
stood in the living room of the modernized 1960's house and hoped
Winnie wasn't hiding in her room. Just before my worries cemented
into full fledged fear, she appeared from the hallway.
If any other girl looked at me like Winnie did right then, I would cross
the distance between us and swept her into my arms.
Her hazel eyes were so bright with excitement in a way I'd never seen
them before. Based on her big smile, I sensed she had been counting the
hours until we were together again.
As I struggled against the urge to kiss her, Winnie smiled wider like she
knew what she did to me.
"You look beautiful," I said unable to stop myself.
Looking a little insecure, Winnie ran a hand over her green sweater.
"Thank you. Harlow picked it out."
"I'll be sure to thank her."

Winnie's smile lit up the room. "I was worried you'd be mad about last
night."
"You mean how it was perfect?"
Winnie gave me a knowing grin. "Harlow is having hair issues. She'll
be out in a minute. Do you want to wait outside?" "It's really cold."
Winnie retrieved her jacket from the closet then called out goodbye to
her little brother.
"I want practice being alone with you."
Giving her a little grin, I opened the door and we walked into the chilly
evening. Winnie's nose turned pink within two minutes and I had the
urge to warm her up.
"What did you do today?" she asked, sounding nervous.
"Nothing much. Just a little laundry."
"I went roller skating with Harlow and Jace. Bailey and Raven were
there. Harlow is training to join the roller derby team."
Unable to stop myself, I caressed her cheek with the back of my
knuckles. "I can't skate. I'd end up on my ass in five seconds."
"I'd hold you," she offered, but her bravado barely hid the fear in her
voice.
"I could arrange that."
Winnie smiled, but her breathing told me she was on edge. The
intimacy of this moment and the need we both felt was eating away at
her confidence.
After quickly tracing her perfect lips, I stepped back. "Patience is a
virtue."
Winnie smiled, even while having trouble making eye contact.
"Patience isn't always easy."
"Sometimes, it's worth it though."
Holding my gaze, she smiled and nodded. "Sometimes."
Harlow opened the door then shivered at the cold wind. "Bye, Mom,
Dad, and Jace."
"Go away!" Jace yelled back, but I caught the boy grinning.
Harlow ignored his comment and walked past us to the driveway.
"Let's get going. I want time to get popcorn and a giant soda on your

dime."
Grinning, I opened the SUV doors for both girls. Once I joined them, I
noticed Harlow deep in love with her phone. It was almost like Winnie
and I were alone.
During the drive, Winnie placed her hand on my right arm then took it
off then returned it. I made no notice of her touch, allowing her to build
her confidence without putting her on the spot.
My mind demanded restraint. Winnie was fragile and needed a man
willing to wait for her. However, my body demanded more. Winnie
was the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen. Her hair looked so soft and
I could smell the sweet aroma of her shampoo. Despite every attempt to
keep my need in check, I imagined her legs wrapped around me. Her
lips against mine. Her moans echoing in my ear.
Unable to stop myself, I took her hand and placed it against my lips.
Winnie exhaled hard, startled by the suddenness of my touch. I softly
kissed the top of it. I wanted to keep her hand in mine, but her
trembling forced me to let her go.
Winnie shrunk away from me. Though I hadn't hurt her, she behaved as
if under threat. Leaning against the door, she stared outside until
Harlow shoved herself between the seats.
"I've never had Raisinettes. Will you get me some?" she asked, either
oblivious to Winnie's fear or pretending to be.
"Sure. Get whatever you want."
"Ooh, Mister Moneybags."
Harlow disappeared into the backseat and returned to her phone. I
wanted to say something to Winnie to fix my moment of weakness.
Instead, I focused on the road and tried to understand how such a small
gesture could upset her so much.
Winnie glanced at me then back out the window. Her legs were pressed
tightly together as if fearful I might jump her at any moment.
By the time we arrived, I was sulking. My pledge of patience hadn't
lasted and I'd spooked the only girl who made me feel like the kind of
man I wanted to be.
Winnie didn' t wait until I opened the door for her, but got out and took
Harlow's hand. I suspected the date was officially over and we were

just going through motions now.
The parking lot was crowded with people coming and going from the
theater. I remained close to the girls who were still holding hands. To
my surprise, Winnie took my hand as we neared the entrance.
Frowning down at Winnie, I didn't understand her mood swings. I was
the bad guy minutes earlier, yet now I was in her good favor again.
"Can I have Raisinettes too or is that too expensive?" she asked as we
waited in line with the tickets I bought ahead of time.
I stared down at Winnie while Harlow gave a passing guy a dirty
look.
"You can have anything you want," I said, feeling deflated because I
had no idea what she wanted.
Winnie only nodded and remained silent until I joined them with the
snacks and drinks.
Harlow took her food and smiled. "Some douche tried to take your seat.
A ball sac threat later and he changed his mind."
"She's very good with the ball threats," Winnie said as I settled down
next to her.
Confused, I nodded and stared at the screen. Winnie talked with
Harlow until the previews began. I heard them mumbling about raisins
and chocolates being against God. Normally, I'd find this funny, but my
feelings were hurt. I just wasn't sure if Winnie or I was at fault.
As the movie began, Winnie leaned closer and stared at me. "You make
me feel things I'm not comfortable feeling."
"I need to be close and I forget sometimes. I'm sorry."
"Don't be," she whispered. "I like when you touch me. I'm just scared to
like it so much."
My pout slid into a smile. "You're mine. I don't know how I know, but I
do. I think about you all the time and it's killing me to wait. I will
though because I only want you."
Winnie shared my smile and cuddled closer to me, going as far as to
lean her head against my shoulder. The movie was a wild comedy,
stupid, yet funny. My mind barely registered the story on the big
screen. Instead, I nuzzled my lips against her soft hair. After she was
finished eating popcorn, I took her hand in mine.

For those two hours, Winnie was a normal girl on a date with a normal
guy who didn' t sleep in his car outside her house most nights.
Chapter Nine ~ Winnie
Sunday was a busy day in my family. We got up early and enjoyed a
morning buffet with the church volunteers. Our first service started at
ten, the second at one. We shared lunch with a few of our parishioners.
The day didn't settle down until after dinner. This schedule left little
time to see Dylan.
Fortunately, Dylan missed me as much as I did him and arrived as the
sun was setting.
"I know you can't go out, so I figured I'd drop by," Dylan said, running
a hand over his head. "I feel like a high school kid."
"I' m sorry," I mumbled.
"Why?" he said, taking my hand. "I'm the one with a crush on a pretty
girl."
Smiling, I glanced inside where Jace was playing videogames with
Dad. I returned my gaze to Dylan and noticed he'd nicked himself
shaving.
"Do you want to sit on the back porch? It's private and we can
talk."
Dylan nodded and tentatively reached for my hand. Bracing for myself
for the emotions that rushed over me whenever Dylan touched me, I
took his hand in mine.
"I' m getting better."
"Yes, you are," he said, leaning down to kiss my cheek.
Shivering at his touch, I led him past Dad and Jace and through the
kitchen where Harlow tapped away on the laptop. The enclosed back
porch overlooked our serene backyard. We settled down on the bench
and I cuddled against him.
"Where did you get all those bulldog shirts?" I asked, remembering
Harlow's question that I forgot to ask the night before.
Dylan frowned a little then shrugged like he was feeling insecure or on
the spot.

"I like them," I added.
Dylan wrapped an arm around my shoulders. "I bought them in
California. My mom had married a guy in the Bay Area and his brother
ran a bait and tackle shop. On the weekends, I worked there under the
table. After work, I'd walk down to the pier and fish. Anyway, there
was a shirt shop on the walk and I ended up buying a bunch of the shirts
because I lost most of my clothes in the move."
Dylan paused long enough to nuzzle his lips against my forehead.
"Living in California was one of my happier times. I wear the shirts so
I can remember that I didn't always feel on the outside."
"Why on the outside?"
"My parents are assholes. They're always falling in love then falling out
of love. We moved around a lot and I never had time to find any good
friends. Even the time in Hermosa Beach didn't last long and I was
suddenly with my dad in Ellsberg. I just never found a place I felt I
belonged."
"How about now?"
Shaking his head, Dylan played with a lock of my hair. "I've had
friends here since I was a kid. I thought they were cool, but they bailed
when Dad put pressure on people to cut me off. I'd taken Lark's side
over his and the fucker thinks he's an important man and should have
his ass kissed at all times."
Pausing again, Dylan frowned as he remembered his asshole dad's
attempt to ruin him. "Anyway, those assholes bailed, but Lark and
Raven came through for me. They talked to Cooper about helping me
get jobs in town after my dad got my contracts cancelled. Soon, I was
bowling with the crew. Now I have a business and friends and a girl I
can't get enough of. Yeah, I finally feel like I belong."
Smiling, I forced my lips against his. The urge to pull away was
intense, but I refused to obey it. Dylan's arms wrapped tighter around
me and his free hand cupped my face.
The kiss deepened. His tongue licked at my lips and I opened for him
without thinking. Our bodies pressed together and I felt a combination
of raging desire and blinding panic. I struggled against the latter for as
long as I could before pushing him away.

"Sorry," Dylan mumbled, his lips at my temple. Even sensing he was
really sorry, I was mostly relieved he wasn't upset. "I'm not great at
getting close to people."
Dylan studied my face. "I know Kirk saved you from some evil
fucks."
My stomach clenched and I shifted away from him. "What do you
know exactly?"
"Just that your dad is an evil fuck too and he's why you ended up with
the bikers."
"Anything else?"
Dylan shook his head. I wasn't sure I believed him, but I figured the
time had come to be honest about the past. Well, as honest as I could
manage.
"When I was little, my mom moved back to Europe. I can't remember
where she was from, but my dad said she was homesick and visiting
family. She either never came back or we moved. I don't remember her
at all. I really do have a bad memory and I don't remember a lot of
things."
"Maybe that's best," Dylan said, tracing my lips with his thumb.
"Remembering is overrated."
I ran my finger over the nicked flesh on his chin. Dylan shivered and
moved closer.
"You know the club owned me, right?"
Dylan tensed next to me and the heat left his expression. He opened his
mouth to respond then changed his mind and only nodded.
My therapist insisted Dylan needed to respect my past if he wanted to
be a part of my future. "Did you know I had a baby?"
Based on his expression, he didn't know.
Nervous under his gaze, I tried to make him understand, "I was
pregnant when Kirk found me. I couldn't keep it. I was messed up and I
couldn't take care of myself."
"How old were you?"
"Twelve when Kirk found me. Thirteen when I had the baby." "What
happened to it?"
I lifted my gaze to meet his. "A couple from Bowling Green

adopted him. They have a daughter and were really excited to have a
son. They even let me name him. Well, I picked from the names they
liked. Their choices were kinda weird like Phineas. I picked the best of
the bunch, so his name is Jonah."
Dylan's frowning face remained frozen for a few minutes. He glanced
around the yard then at my face. "I don't know how you went through
all that and still became so good and kind."
He stared at my bruised hand. "My life was easy compared to yours,
but I was being an asshole like my dad. One day, Lark told me if I didn'
t want to end up like Larry then I needed to make real changes. If I had
your life, I'd likely be a monster, but you're not."
"I don't think you'd be a monster."
"You don't know, Winnie."
As my fingers caressed the palm of his hand, I needed to know he still
wanted me. "I have a good family now. I go to therapy every week. I
feel safe because of Dad and the Reapers. I try to be strong, but my
instinct is always to run. When I get scared, I run. When I feel
overwhelmed, I run. If I don't know what to do, I run. With you, I feel
all those things and I have to fight the urge to run because I don't want
to lose this chance with you."
"I want you, Winnie," he said with too much intensity. "I have liked
girls before, but what I feel for you isn't like that. It's not attraction. It's
not anything I've felt before. Being patient is killing me. I feel like
you're mine and I just want to take you and make you mine. Fuck
waiting, but that's just the asshole in me talking."
"You're not an asshole and you're very patient."
"Trust me that I'm an asshole. I behave with you. Not lie exactly, but I
keep my mouth in check like I don't with other people. With most
people, I don't care if I piss them off or scare them. Maybe I should, but
I don't. With you, I need you to be happy, so I'm patient."
I placed his hand against my cheek. Dylan immediately caressed my
lips with his thumb.
"If you come over like this, we can talk alone and have more privacy.
Would you be willing to do that this week, so we don't need a
chaperone?"

"I'll jump through any hoop as long as I land next to you." I smiled and
Dylan shared it.
"I was scared to tell you about the baby. I didn't want you to think I was
ruined."
Dylan lost his smile. "If you knew how I saw you, you'd never worry
about that. Like how you look at me and don't see asshole, I don't see
the things you think. Though I am an asshole and you're not ruined, but
you know what I mean."
"I' m going to hug you now. I feel a little weird and want to run, but I
think hugging you will feel better."
"Patience," he whispered to himself as I leaned my body against
him.
Relaxing to the sound of his rapid heartbeat, I smiled at how good his
arms felt around me. Even knowing about the Vandals and Jonah,
Dylan still wanted me. He saw me the way I wanted to be seen, rather
than how I saw myself.
So despite the urge to run and shower, I wrapped my arms around
Dylan. Desire terrified me, but with Dylan, I would learn to embrace it.
Chapter Ten ~ Dylan
Winnie was likely sporting a hickey on her neck, but her father's
irritation was worth it. I loved the noise she made when I sucked at the
flesh. Something between a moan and a gasp, the sound remained in
my thoughts all evening and the next morning.
I knew she was torn between desire and fear. As we'd kissed, Winnie
both pushed me away with one hand while gripping my shirt with
another. A few times, she yanked away and sat with a panicked
expression on her beautiful face.
At first, I'd wanted to talk about her feelings. I also considered sitting in
silence while she worked things out. Instead, I babbled about my
favorite TV shows and what movies I liked as a kid. I shared a story
about the biggest fish I'd ever caught and how I was hit by a car and
broke my leg when I was ten. As I babbled as if nothing was wrong,
Winnie had the time to deal with her fears. Soon, she'd relax and move

closer.
Before I left, I noticed a few pictures on the wall of a boy at different
ages. Winnie said the couple who adopted Jonah sent her a picture each
month. She kept most in an album, but those were her favorites.
With sun bleached hair and icy blue eyes, the boy looked nothing like
his birth mother. Yet in one of the newer pictures, Jonah gave the
camera a shy smile that was all Winnie.
I couldn' t help thinking about Winnie as the mother of my children. I
could imagine us together forever. No woman made me feel like
Winnie and losing her wasn't an option.
My mind was on her again when I heard a familiar voice from the
doorway of Cooper's office.
"It's coming together," the boss said, helping Farah step over a toolbox.
"The place will be fucking perfect. I can do business here. It'll be
comfortable for you and the kids too."
Farah glanced around, seeing the building in the half done mess it was.
Cooper though was clearly visualizing the final product.
"How's it going?" he asked, shaking my hand.
"I did the rewiring you wanted, but it's put us behind by a few
days."
"Fair enough," Cooper muttered. "Can I show Farah around?" "You
pay the bills."
"Hell yeah, I do," he said and Farah rolled her eyes. "Don't mock my
manliness, wife."
"Your manliness is pressing down on my bladder right now, husband."
Cooper focused on her baby bump, getting a weird possessive look that
I suspected I would have one day. For now, I felt like I was witnessing
a private moment.
I left them to explore the partly done building. The back office was
nearly complete and they remained back there for a while.
Outside, I took a deep breath of the crisp autumn air. Sweaty from
working inside, I wore one of the bulldog shirts Winnie liked. Yet the
cold air had me thinking to get my long sleeve shirt. I was ready to
return

inside when I noticed Tad walking my direction.
Crossing my arms to deal with the cold, I shared his smile. No matter
his niceties, the guy scared me because he could snap his fingers and
end my life. Or just ruin me by taking away Winnie.
"You have a minute?" he asked.
"Is everything okay?"
Giving a quick nod, Tad looked around then focused his icy gaze on
me.
"Do you know why I have you take a chaperone on your dates?"
Startled by the abruptness of his question, I didn't answer. Tad ignored
my silence and continued.
"It's not that I'm unaware of modern dating techniques. I wouldn't think
to have a chaperone with Harlow," he said, scratching at his stubbled
chin. "She can tell anyone no. In fact, she often says no first even when
she wants to say yes. Winnie doesn't have that ability."
Tad gestured for me to follow him. Walking to his truck, he leaned
against it before continuing.
"I'm sure you know Winnie's history. When Kirk brought her to us, she
was barely verbal. She refused eye contact and cried if anyone touched
her. Winnie told us you know about the baby, so you can imagine what
it was like. She cried through every medical exam and had a C-section
because there was no way she could handle delivering normally. Hell,
she only held the baby once. As soon as he started crying, she started
too."
I didn't know what Tad saw on my face, but he nodded. "People do
fucked up shit in this world and some people can bounce back easier
than others. Winnie got healthier. She learned to talk to people and
eventually to tolerate physical contact. By the time she was sixteen, she
would hug us and talk to people she knew. Therapy helped, of course,
but mostly she needed a safe home with people who wouldn't hurt her.
By her eighteenth birthday, Winnie was doing well. I saw you two
circling each other and figured dating was coming. Then the Devils
came looking for Harlow. Even after killing the fucker, they regressed
after being taken. Harlow is angry while everything scares Winnie. If I
could kill those bastards again, I would for what they did to my girls."

Having a bad feeling about where this was going, I kept my mouth
shut.
"You're a good man," Tad said, surprising me. "I don't think you're
interested in my girl for quick fun. If you were, you'd have ditched her
after the first chaperone date. You also seem to accept Winnie with all
her issues. So I know you are going out later in the week and I know
you won't take advantage of Winnie, but I'm sending a chaperone
anyway. Not to make sure you behave, but to make sure Winnie doesn't
do anything just because she think she has to."
"I understand."
"I' m sure you do, but I worry you think like your old man," he said and
I tensed at the mention of my dad. "A man like him gets what he wants
or crushes the person denying him. Like he tried to do with you."
"I'm not like him."
"I hope not, but it's my job as Winnie's dad to make clear what happens
if you hurt her on purpose. Relationships fail and I don't expect you to
kiss her ass to make me happy. However, if you treat her like shit,
you'll only live long enough to finish Cooper's office."
"Our relationship won't fail."
"Everyone thinks that."
"Everyone doesn't mean shit to me. Winnie makes me happy like no
one else ever has. I think I make her happy too. We 're not going to
fail."
Tad narrowed his eyes and I realized I sounded like the stalking fucker
I was. Winnie was mine and I wasn't giving her up. Saying this out loud
made me sound crazy though.
Whatever he was thinking, Tad kept it to himself before leaving me at
the worksite. I imagined him telling Winnie that she couldn't see me
anymore. In fact, I was prepared for the cold shoulder when I arrived
that evening.
Instead, Winnie answered the door wearing a big smile. She took my
hand and we sat on the back porch for an hour, talking and cuddling.
Even relieved, I worried it was only a matter of time before my months
of watching Winnie each evening would come back to haunt me.

Chapter Eleven ~ Winnie
Lark' s feet were swollen, so I helped her walk to the back porch and
put them up. The dogs ran around the yard, enjoying the slightly
warmer weather. After bringing Lark a glass of diet soda, I joined her
on the loveseat.
"Did you have problems with your pregnancy?" Lark asked. "I don't
remember."
"Do you plan to have children in the future?"
"I don't know," I said then added, "I never thought I'd like a guy until I
got to know Dylan."
Lark smiled. "He's a tricky fucker. I used to dread seeing him since he
was his dad's attack dog. Once he blew off Larry, he's really become a
sweetie. He's even nice to Raven and those two are like water and
vinegar."
Sharing her smile, I decided to pump her for information. "Did
Dylan date a lot?"
"I guess. He went on dates, but I never met anyone. I never heard him
talk about a girl. Since I met him, he's never had a girlfriend until
you."
My smile widened. "We've gone on a few dates away from the house
and spent a lot of time together on the back porch. Now, I want to spend
the night with him, but I'm really scared. I've never, you know, been
with a guy in a real way. I want to with Dylan though."
"What are you most scared of?"
"Being touched. I'm afraid when he touches me that it'll feel like
when..."
I didn't finish, but Lark understood. "You two have kissed. Did that
make you feel bad?"
"At first, yes."
"Then go slow. Basically, do the opposite of me and Raven. We slutted
out the first chance we got with our guys." I smiled. "Well, Aaron and
Vaughn are hot." "So is Dylan. You know, for a step brother." "I have
fantasies," I said, embarrassed to admit as much, but

something about Lark made sharing easy. "I never really see me in the
fantasies though. If I put me in them, I want to puke."
"You need to take it slow and lead up to the good stuff. Kissing leads to
cuddling leads to under the shirt action leads to. well you get the
picture."
"Ooh, what am I walking into?" Aaron said, peeking out from the
house.
Lark' s face lit up. "My sexy cobra is home along with the hot guy
attached to him."
Aaron faked offense at her comment as he settled in next to her on the
couch. While his lips caressed hers, his hands were doing the same with
her baby bump. I looked away, giving them privacy. The way they
were so casually intimate with each other made me hunger to see
Dylan. I wanted his arms around me, his lips on mine, his hot breath on
my skin, my name whispered in his hungry voice.
Desire scared me as much as sex, but I craved everything about Dylan.
I wanted to share with him what Lark had with Aaron.
"I didn't mean to interrupt, but today was slow at the shop. Everyone
wants Jade to do their tats. I know she's talented, but I sensed they just
want the hot chick," Aaron said then added quietly, "I'm hot
too."
Lark cuddled next to him. "If I wasn't on bed rest, I'd fuck that pout
right off your face."
"Don't worry, babe. I'm keeping track of every time you say that, so
you can make it up to me after the babies are born."
Smiling, Lark glanced at me. "We're planning to ditch the babies with
other people a lot, so we can have alone time. You should prepare
for that."
I grinned. "I can't wait to see your babies." "Me either. I hope they have
curls like Aaron." Aaron sighed. "Please, let the boy have straight hair.
Trust me that the Shirley Temple look doesn't work on boys."
Lark rubbed his head. "Hey, Winnie and Dylan are together. Isn't
that great?"
Aaron smiled at me. "Have you seen his bulldog tat?" When I

shook my head, he nodded. "He got it before the shooting. I doubt he's
been walking around shirtless much since then."
"It's a beauty," Lark said, smiling at her husband. "Aaron is so talented
that the dog looks real. Pouty too. Kinda like Dylan in a bad mood."
Even curious about the tattoo, I focused on my job. "Do you want me to
make you lunch?" I asked, standing up. "Lark was planning to have a
sandwich."
"Oh, and steamed veggies," Lark added, faking excitement. "Soft
carrots, Aaron. Can you imagine?"
"I won't have to. I'll have what she's having," he told me then knelt on
the ground to kiss the baby bump. "This is Leo. This is Phoebe. I can
tell by how they kick."
Lark looked at me and rolled her bright green eyes. I still smiled at how
excited Aaron was about his babies.
As I made them lunch, I remembered when Dylan asked about kids.
We were cuddling on the back porch when he brought up the subject.
Dylan hoped for at least two because he didn't like growing up an only
child.
"I don't know if I'd be a good mother," I told him.
"Of course you will."
"I have moods where I'm not good for anything."
"We all do. That's why we have each other." When I stared at him,
Dylan finally understood. "Do you not want children?" he asked.
Staring into his dark hypnotic eyes, I let myself dream of a future where
Dylan and I were together. If I learned to be close to him, I could learn
to be close to a child.
Our child would be so loved too. Mom was already knitting blankets
for grandchildren she might never have. Dad figured Beckett would get
his wife preggers five seconds after walking out of prison, so he'd
bought himself a "Best Grandpa" coffee cup.
"Yes, I want them," I told Dylan. "With you, I want everything."
I was thinking about Dylan's smile when I brought lunch out to Lark
and Aaron. They'd changed positions, so he was sitting at the end of the
little couch with her head resting on a pillow on his lap.

"I was feeling lightheaded," she explained, reaching for the food.
"Ooh, broccoli."
Aaron smiled at his wife's enthusiasm, but I could see the worry in his
blue eyes. Lark's blood pressure wasn't behaving and I sensed she
wouldn't make it anywhere near her due date. Unlike Farah who was
having an easy pregnancy, Lark seemed miserable most days. Yet she
smiled through it all.
Chapter Twelve ~ Dylan
Nick annoyed me when we first met. He was too friendly with Lark and
I was too obsessed with my sister. Once I pulled my head out of my ass,
I viewed the world differently. For one thing, I realized Nick wasn't so
different than me.
We both lacked friends in Ellsberg, both seeming incapable of bonding
with people for very long. We both had daddy issues. I also sensed
anger in Nick that he held at bay. Most days, I struggled to do the same
with my rage.
Having a late lunch at a small Italian place, Nick checked out the menu.
"I used to eat whatever I wanted when I was fighting and training all the
time. Can't do that anymore. I still work out in Kirk's home gym and I
stop by the Reapers' gym a few times a week. Otherwise, I'm a lazy
fuck. Bailey keeps reminding me how fucking burns a lot of calories
too."
Grinning, I asked, "Do you miss fighting?"
"No. Not even a little bit. Once I was done getting punched in the face a
few nights a week, I was just done."
"You were really good. What did you do with all the. inspiration you
used to kick asses?"
Nick shrugged. "Bailey keeps me centered. I was mostly fighting for
the money. Now I work for you."
As I thought about the Thunderdome, Nick glanced up from the menu.
"You ever consider fighting? You handled yourself well when my

dad and his shithead friends showed up."
"Yeah, I thought about it. Not for the money though."
"To see if you'd win? A lot of guys want to know if they could handle
themselves, but I guess you already know."
"I worry if I fight I might like it too much."
Nick wanted me to explain, but the waitress arrived and took our order.
Once we were alone, he focused on me.
"There is something liberating about beating the shit out of an asshole,"
Nick said.
"No doubt. I did like fighting your dad and his friends."
Nick studied me and I shrugged. "Sometimes, I have a ball of rage in
me. I worry if I really let it loose I wouldn't be able to reel it back in."
Nick ran his hand through his dark hair and considered his words.
"Look, I'm not trying to sell fighting to you. It's an ugly and dirty
business. You don't need the money and have nothing to prove. I will
say the rage you feel is something you control every day. If you
couldn't control that anger, you'd have lost it by now. I should know. I
spent most of my life hating everyone around me. Hell, I even hated
myself. I used the hate to win a fight then I'd pulled it back inside. With
Bailey, the hate doesn't bother me."
Nick drank half of his glass of water then continued, "Mostly because
she's helped me stop seeing me the way my asshole dad did. I see me
the way she does and I'm calmer. I sense your problem isn't about
self-worth though."
I shook my head. "Living a soft life left me feeling edgy. I can't really
explain it, but I crave the hard edges," I said then sighed. "I'm sure I
sound like a pampered ass to you."
"Yeah, but I deal with that shit with Cooper and Tucker all the time."
Smirking, I leaned back. "Do you plan to join the club?"
"No," he said immediately. "They're my family, but I'm not stepping
into their life. Not like that. If I have to die or kill to protect my family,
I will, but I can't agree to join a life in the one percent. I like riding a
Harley, but that doesn't make me biker material."
"True. So things are good with Bailey?"

"Of course. Why wouldn't they be?" Smiling, I didn't answer.
When I said nothing, Nick grunted. "Yeah, Bailey has a mouth. I
happen to find her bitching and moaning entertaining." "Well you'd
have to, wouldn't you?"
Nick grinned. "She's sweet too. People don't see that because of how
obnoxious she can be, but the showing off crap is her defense
mechanism. When we're alone, she's rarely obnoxious. Mostly, she
wants to know I' m happy. How the hell can a guy not love that?"
Messing with my straw, I nodded. "I should know people aren't usually
what they show to the world. My father seems like a nice guy, but he's a
real fuckwit."
"Glad you stopped following his lead. The world has too many
fuckwits."
"Lark gets full credit for that. I'd still be trying to make him value me if
it wasn't for her. I probably wouldn't have met Winnie either."
"Better watch yourself with Winnie. Well, not her, but Cooper. He's
looking to recruit guys he can trust into the club. Hooking up with Tad's
daughter puts you on Cooper's radar. Hell, taking on the Devils when
you were essentially unarmed put you on his radar. Now, the pinging
must be deafening for him."
"I doubt it. He's never mentioned anything and I see him nearly every
day."
"Cooper paces himself. The club is transitioning over into his hands.
He's in no hurry to show his cards, but he'll probably make a move with
you before next year. Bailey talks a lot about family stuff and she says
the guys from Memphis are pushing for Cooper to be fully in charge by
sometime next year."
Our food arrived and Nick smiled at his big bowl of spaghetti.
"I' m not telling you what your answer should be, but you said you
crave the rough edges. Cooper and those guys live a life that doesn't
interest me. I don't mind knowing what's happening, but I can't do what
they need done. Whether you can or not is up to you, but I thought I'd
give you a heads up."
As Nick ate his lunch, I picked at mine. I felt uneasy about Cooper

approaching me. Not so much about joining his lifestyle, but that I
wouldn't live up the standards they required. A privileged upbringing
left me wanting more. Yet like Nick said, riding a Harley didn't make
me club material.
Chapter Thirteen ~ Winnie
Harlow wanted to buy a Harley with the money she won from fighting.
Mom said no way and wished she would save the money for school or
the future. Dad said spending so much money on a Harley when he had
two in the garage made no sense. His solution was to have her drive the
red one, hoping this satisfied her urge.
Harlow always drove nice and careful when we were on residential
roads. Yet get her on a main strip and she drove as wildly as Bailey. All
I could do was hold on and pray we didn't die.
Fortunately, we arrived at the bowling alley without injury. I climbed
off then steadied myself while Harlow fixed her hair.
"Speeding is fun," she said, giving me a wink. "Learn to live a
little, Winnie."
Irritated at her for treating me like a dork when she was scared of a lot
of stuff too, I said, "I might let Dylan see my boobs this weekend. I
think that means I'm a bigger badass than you."
Harlow frowned. "You should make him wait until you're married to
see your boobs. Why give it away for free?"
Sharing her frown, I glanced down at my chest then back at her. "What
if I never get over my weird sex thing? He shouldn't marry someone
defective."
"There's more to marriage than sex. Besides, you're not defective for
thinking sex is gross."
"True, but I want to look at Dylan's boobs, so showing him mine is
probably the fairest way to make that happen."
Blank-faced, Harlow stared at me. Turning away, she shook her head.
"I've said it before and I'll say it again. Bailey Johansson had been a bad
influence on you."
Grinning, I followed her into the bowling alley where the bad

influence sat on Nick's lap.
"Hey, bitches, check my hickeys. My man marked me good."
Harlow said nothing and kept on walking. I stopped though and
checked out the hickeys on her neck. Nick just smirked while Bailey
smiled like she's won a prize.
"I have one too," I said, showing off a new one near my ear.
"Slut," Bailey cried. "I love it."
"Who's a slut?" Tawny asked, entering with a bored Judd. "Winnie's
joined our slut club. Raven is still the ambassador though."
Hearing her name as she entered, Raven played it safe and flipped us
off. Tawny grinned while sizing up Raven and Vaughn's matching
bowling shirts.
Raven and Vaughn turned around to show off the back of the shirts
which read "Big V" and "Better V."
"You two are such dorks that I am embarrassed to be friends with you,"
Bailey said, settling back on Nick's lap. "Hey, should we get dork shirts
too, now that we're in love and everything?"
Nick gave her a great smile. "Our love transcends stupid shirts."
"Watch it, Dragon," Vaughn said, walking towards the lanes. "I've
kicked asses for dumber reasons than mocking my shirts."
Bailey flipped off Vaughn, but he was already focused on his designer
bowling ball.
"I' m psyched to learn Dylan is a sexed crazed maniac," Bailey
announced. "Months ago, I stated Dylan was a horny toad. Nailed it
again."
I gave her a weird look and she laughed then pointed behind me where
Dylan stood. He wore loose jeans hanging a little low on his hips and a
blue tee clinging a little too tight along his chest. Even with Dylan
feeling on the spot, his dark eyes shined when he saw me.
"Having Raven as a sister taught me to ignore annoying women," he
said, wrapping an arm around my shoulders. "How are you, Winnie?
Glad to see you survived the ride over."
Lifting my lips to his, I kissed him quickly. I really didn't like having an
audience. Especially if it included Bailey who was always

keeping score.
"Are you going to bowl tonight?" Dylan asked me as a way to change
the subject from him being a horny toad.
"I'll try. I used to bowl with Mom and Dad, but I haven't done so in
months."
Dylan gave me his look that said he understood why everything
stopped last summer.
"Let's see your moves," Dylan said, taking my hand and walking
towards the lanes.
As we approached, Farah smiled at us from where she had her feet up
on a chair. Nearby, Cooper and Tucker bowled with Sawyer. The men
dwarfed their little sister as they taught her to roll with one hand rather
than both. She did it their way for a few minutes, but the ball kept
rolling into the gutter. Finally, she took the ball by both hands and
walked to a lane with the bumpers up.
After her ball bounced off each side a few times, it knocked down six
pins. Sawyer screamed in triumphant. Shrugging, Cooper walked
towards Farah.
"I taught her that."
"Of course, you did," Farah said, grinning. "Your wisdom rubs off on
everyone."
"I agree," Tucker said, strutting towards Maddy. "As long as wisdom is
code for bullshit."
Farah laughed behind her hand while Cooper chased after his brother
who ran out one of the side doors. Dylan watched the brothers then
looked down at me.
"I used to be bummed that I never had a brother. Now I think I dodged
a bullet."
Even smiling, I thought about the bullet tearing into his chest as he tried
to save me and Harlow. I placed my hand where I knew the scar hid
under his tee. Dylan's gaze found mine and we shared a moment
separate from the noise around us.
"Sweet Winona," he whispered, kissing my cheek.
"Sexy Dylan," I whispered back and wrapped my arms around his
waist.

Vaughn appeared next to us. "Less snuggles, more bowling."
Frowning at his interruption, I sensed his behavior was related to the
frown Harlow wore. I followed Vaughn to where Raven rolled a strike.
She high fived him then handed me a ball.
I focused on the way Mom taught me to bowl. Taking a deep breath, I
rolled the ball and waited for it to land in the gutter. Instead, I took out
nine pins.
"Nice," Vaughn said. "Think you can take out the last one?"
Glancing back at Dylan, I found him grinning like I was amazing. I
focused on the remaining pin then took the ball Raven handed me.
After a false start, I regained my composure and rolled.
"Hot damn," Vaughn said when the ball clipped the final pin and
knocked it down.
Smiling, I high-fived Dylan. He pulled me into a hug and kissed my
neck, setting my skin on fire. For just a moment, I felt like a normal
person out with her friends and boyfriend. None of the baggage from
my past weighed me down. While the feeling didn't last long, I still
enjoyed a real taste of freedom.
Once Dylan rolled a strike, Vaughn was officially in love with us.
"Finally someone who can bowl," he said, downing a beer. "Unlike
Judd and Tawny who suck so very much."
As Judd strolled over to roll a ball into the gutter, I excused myself to
use the restroom. I hoped Harlow would come along and tell me why
she was so grumpy. She didn't though and I walked out to find Farah
waiting for me.
We walked to the small pizza shop and sat at a table overseeing the
lanes.
Farah gave me a little smile. "I was talking to Lark about your
problem."
"What problem?"
"You're uncomfortable with sex. I had the same problem with Cooper
when we started dating."
Glancing around, I leaned closer. "How did you fix it?"
"Honestly, I didn't. At first, I got the hang of feeling bad and good at the
same time. Eventually, I only felt good. The more I was with

Cooper, the less I thought about the past. I only saw him and he makes
me happy, but it didn't happen right away. I would cry and get tense. I
would pull away even when I wanted to be close." "And having sex
enough fixed that?"
Farah leaned back into the chair and rubbed her belly. "Not really the
sex as much as being close to Cooper. I kept expecting him to hurt me
or use me and walk away. I wanted to believe in him, but I also wanted
to protect myself."
Leaning forward again, she lowered her voice. "One time, before we
were together, we just made out with our shirts off. It was scary to be so
exposed, but I also felt good. I liked Cooper and wanted to be close to
someone. When he held me and didn't make fun of me for being scared,
I started trusting him. It didn't magically fix things, but it was a start.
Over time, I would have fun during sex even if it took me longer to
actually orgasm."
I glanced at Dylan and bit my lip. "I really want to be close to him. I'm
just worried I'll freak out and he'll ditch me."
"I don't think Dylan's that kind of guy. He cares about you and has for a
while. I saw him stealing glances at you months ago. His feelings are
real. If you do freak out, he'll understand. He wants all of you and he
wants to keep you. You need to trust in that."
I looked at where Dylan was getting bowling pointers from Vaughn.
He wore a serious expression, clearly hoping to improve enough to
give the V-team a run for their money.
"I'm going to practice."
"Just remember what you're feeling isn't wrong. With time, you'll get
control of the bad feelings, but don't blame yourself for having issues."
"Have you tried therapy?" I asked.
Farah shook her head. "I'm going to try though. I ' m really nervous
about having the baby and Tawny says therapy helps her."
"It takes some getting used to," I admitted. "I guess we're both going to
practice until we get the hang of new things."
Smiling, Farah scooted off the chair. "I better get back before Cooper
thinks someone's messed with his woman. He goes pretty

caveman lately," she said then added, "I love when he does. I know I
shouldn't, but I need him to make me feel pretty." "You are pretty."
"This," she said, rubbing her belly, "doesn't always make me feel so
sexy. Cooper loved the baby bump though."
I instinctively placed my hand on my stomach and wondered about the
future. Was it possible that with enough practice I could enjoy sex?
Could I be a wife and mother one day with as much ease as I was a
sister and daughter now? If practice was the secret, touching Dylan was
going to be the most pleasurable experiment ever.
Chapter Fourteen ~ Dylan
My whole day sucked. I woke up in a weird position, having irritated
the exit wound scar on my back. The spot bothered me all morning.
Once a cold snap struck around noon, my chest scar throbbed too.
The guys on the worksite whined about the cold. A few were solely
focused on the upcoming holidays. My only concern was getting
Cooper's office finished before the weather turned to shit and supplies
got harder to come by.
Lunch upset my stomach and too much coffee only made it worse. By
the time Nick showed up after his classes, I was in a shit mood.
"Go," he said, pointing for the door. "Visit your woman and see if she
can turn that frown upside down."
While Nick snickered at my grumpiness, I left him to take over the
jobsite. The guys were slacking off again when I walked past them.
Hell, they didn't even fake work for my benefit. Nick appeared behind.
"Oh, Dylan, I know a few guys looking for construction work. They
have experience too. You might want to meet them."
Frowning, I didn't get his point, but the guys did. They were
replaceable and Nick had no allegiance to them. Work picked up as
Nick stood nearby. I left the office, feeling better than I had all day. My
good mood didn't last long.
For whatever reason, Jace got on my nerves. He had a dark gaze

like a predator dissecting its prey. Whenever he smiled though, his face
changed and I saw the kid underneath. Of course, he rarely smiled at
the guy dating his sister.
"Busted," Jace said, answering the door. "Poor dumb Dylan."
Frowning, I was ready to ask what he meant. Winnie appeared first and
walked past her brother, shutting the door on his smirk.
"What's going on?" I asked, nervous after a long crappy day.
"Do you sit outside our house in your SUV?" she asked, staring at me
wide-eyed. "Harlow said you do and she doesn't lie to me."
Even knowing this conversation was always a possibility, I didn't know
how to answer her. I shoved my hands into my pockets and stepped
back. Needing a minute to think, I wanted to find the right words to
make her understand. Except those words didn't exist.
"Why would you do that?" she asked when I remained silent.
"I get tense," I muttered. "I feel overwhelmed, I guess. My friends
bailed on me when Larry pulled his shit. The business is taking off and
that's great, but it's a lot of pressure. I felt alone until I met you."
Winnie stared at me and I couldn't read the expression in her normally
expressive hazel eyes.
"When I met you and your family, I was still in a bad place after the
blowup with my dad. I'd come into work, tense and even depressed.
Once I saw you though, everything bad faded away. I looked forward
to your visits. After the Devils, you stopped coming in and I missed the
way you made me feel."
Pausing, I rolled back on my heels like a scolded kid caught red
handed. "So I'd drive by your house. I just need to know you were real.
Soon, I was driving by before and after work. After awhile, I'd park a
few houses down. I rarely saw you, but I knew you were close and that
settled all the stress I was feeling. Eventually, I ended up sleeping in the
car some nights."
Winnie frowned. "You were sleeping in your car? You know that's
weird, right?"
"Yeah," I muttered.
"Like mentally fed up weird. Stalker stuff."
"I never had any evil plan to grab you or hurt you," I said,

defending my weirdness. "I just needed to be close." "But it's still
weird."
"Yeah, but not dangerous weird. More like pathetic weird." Winnie
smiled slightly. "Sorta crazy weird." "I guess."
"You know," Winnie said, smiling wider, "when you said you were an
asshole, I didn't believe you. I thought you were just trying to make me
feel better about having phobias and all my issues. But you really are f'
ed up too."
"You like that?" I asked, frowning.
"I saw you as too perfect. Out of reach. I kept thinking you would
realize how messed up I was and leave me. Now, I know you 're messed
up too. Maybe not as messed up as me, but weird is still weird."
"And that makes me more attractive?" I asked, stepping closer.
Winnie nodded. "I can't be with someone who doesn't have something
wrong with them. It doesn't seem fair for one of us to be perfectly
normal and the other to be messed up."
"I don't think you're messed up."
"Because you're messed up too," she said, placing a hand against my
chest and lifting her lips to mine.
Sucking at her pretty pink lips, I wrapped her gently in my arms. A part
of me was still afraid Winnie would change her mind and push me
away. Or her parents would walk outside and tell me to stop stalking
their daughter.
"When you sat in your car at night, did you think about naughty
things?" Winnie asked, gripping my shirt. "No, never," I lied.
"Too bad. I think naughty things about you especially in the shower."
"Hell, woman," I growled, wrapping her tighter in my arms. "It's cruel
to tease me when minutes ago I thought I'd lost you."
"Did you really think I'd stop seeing you, just because you're a little bit
of an obsessive stalker?"
Sharing her smile, I couldn't believe she saw me at my most fucked up
and still wanted me. I saw no hesitancy in her gaze, no second

thoughts. Winnie wanted me, warts and all. Chapter Fifteen ~ Winnie
Much like his sisters, Jace had issues. Tonight, he hid behind Mom at
the restaurant, didn't want to order his food, and whispered everything.
Dad said Jace was already a preteen at ten. Mom babied him while he
ate up the attention. I didn't blame him for enjoying it. Mom's hugs
were the best.
Harlow was edgy too. She wanted me to dump Dylan or at least take
things slower. Besides feeling confused about my love life, she
suffered a brutal fight the night before at the Thunderdome. Her jaw
sported a big ugly bruise and I suspected eating was painful. Dad
wanted to say something nearly as badly as Mom did, but they kept
their thoughts to themselves. With Harlow, they decided to give her
space to make mistakes.
I hope they felt the same about me.
"Dylan and I are going out tomorrow," I said after our appetizers
arrived. "I'd like to go without a chaperone."
Jaw clenching, Dad gave me a fake smile. "Are you sure? Harlow
needs to get out more."
My sister ignored this comment. Jace was also in his head. I felt alone
with my parents.
"I need to try," I said, smiling at Mom. "I've been getting stronger and I
need to be alone with Dylan to know if I can handle it."
"And if you can't?" Mom asked, giving me a smile that didn't reach her
blue eyes.
"Then I'll know I need to slow down."
Dad nodded first then Mom nodded. They said nothing until our
dinners arrived. Their silence made me second-guess my decision to be
alone with Dylan.
"Life is about taking chances," Mom said, cutting her steak. "I took one
with your dad and it's been a hell of a ride."
Dad gave her a naughty smirk. "That ride ain't ending anytime soon,
baby."

While my parents shared a marital horny moment, I imagined myself
alone with Dylan for a few hours. No buffer. No grumpy Harlow
tapping her watch. No security blanket.
I needed to break free of my past to build something real. No longer
was fear standing in my way.
Chapter Sixteen ~ Dylan
Our first un-chaperoned date ended at my one bedroom apartment.
Winnie asked to see the place I called home and I took the hint. When
we arrived, I retrieved us drinks and we sat on the balcony.
"I like it here," she said.
Based on the fear in her voice, Winnie was lying. I didn't blame her for
disliking the sterile apartment. On more than one occasion, I'd stopped
at one of those decorating places like Hobby Lobby. I wanted to give
my apartment character, but nothing clicked. I couldn't even decide on
a paint color. The empty walls made the place feel cold.
"I have two houses I' m renovating. An old Victorian and a midcentury
ranch. I figure I'll keep one of them for myself. I'll move in when I have
someone to share it with."
Winnie refused to even glance in my direction and I doubted she heard
me. When she finally focused on my face, I was startled by the terror in
her eyes.
"I care about you a lot."
As a guy, I knew what those words meant and figured she was dumping
me. "I care about you too." "I want to be close to you."
"Okay," I said, nervous at the hollow tone of her voice.
Winnie handed me the can of soda. "I'll be back in a minute."
Winnie disappeared into the bathroom for a long time. I knew girls had
their issues, so I didn't knock on the door and put her on the spot.
Instead, I remained on the couch and worried silently.
When the door opened, I remained casual as if she hadn't been gone for
over thirty minutes. My attempt to play cool ended when I saw her
dressed in a long burgundy robe.

"I have an idea," she said, sounding terrified.
I opened my mouth to respond, but decided silence was better.
Approaching me, Winnie trembled.
"I need to practice being close. Can we just practice?" she asked, nearly
in tears.
"Are you sure you're ready?"
"I don't know. I want to try. Can we try?"
Winnie's voice hit a high panicked pitch and I did the only thing that
made sense.
Opening my arms, I said softly, "We'll try."
Nearly five minutes passed from when I reached for Winnie and she
actually stood in front of me. She inched closer, paused, backed up a
little, and looked around, before finally inching closer again. Once
standing in front of the couch where I waited, Winnie opened her robe.
I prayed she wasn't naked. No way was Winnie ready to expose her
body. Besides, I didn't think I could restrain my baser desires if she was
undressed in my arms. Instead of nude, Winnie wore a yellow bikini,
leaving most of her pale skin bare.
"I don't work out," she said, staring at me in horror.
"I don't know what the hell you're talking about," I mumbled, taking
her hands and tugging her gently into my lap. "You're perfection."
Winnie straddled me then placed her hands on my shoulders. The robe
remained on, yet open in the front.
I wanted to explore. How could a man with a beautiful girl on his lap
not want to touch every inch of exposed flesh? Rather than freak her
out, I stared into her hazel eyes and traced her pretty pink lips with my
finger.
"Should I take off my shirt?" I asked, kissing her jaw. "I have to warn
you that I don't work out either."
Despite her fear, Winnie laughed. "I've seen you without your shirt.
Please, take it off. It's only fair."
I pulled off my shirt and tossed it aside. Her gaze immediately focused
on the ugly wound on the right side of my chest. Her fingers reached
out and caressed the scar so gently I barely felt her. When she

lifted her gaze to meet mine, I saw the concern in her eyes.
"I' m going to kiss you now," I said, hoping to distract her from the
painful memories of that day.
"Okay," she whispered, leaning forward as my hands slid into the robe
and caressed her bare back.
Winnie's body remained stiff in my arms. She didn't react to my kisses
or my nails grazing her skin. When I gazed into her eyes, I felt as if I
was staring into pools of nothingness. I might have stopped except I' d
seen Winnie disappear on me before and she always returned.
Taking her hands from my shoulders, I placed them on my chest.
Winnie didn't react, her skin covered in goose bumps and nipples soft
under my touch. She might as well been doing the dishes with the level
of arousal her body felt.
Her fingertips caressed my collarbone then returned to my chest. Like
the sun breaking through the darkness, Winnie kissed me with more
heat.
She moaned in my mouth before pressing her hips closer to mine. My
erection struggled against jeans suddenly a size too small. Moaning
now, I wrapped my arms around her and snuggled her even closer until
her chest slid up and down mine.
"Dylan," she said and it sounded almost like a question.
"You're safe," I whispered, sucking at her shoulder. "I'll never hurt
you."
Relaxing again, Winnie let her fingers explore my chest then shoulders.
Her lips tasted my throat as her soft hair spilled over my shoulder. The
feel of her was better than I could have imagined and I never wanted to
let her go.
Brushing off the robe, I tightened my embrace. Winnie's lips found
mine. She wanted more and I sensed no fear in her. In a smooth gesture,
I picked up Winnie and swung around to rest her on the couch.
My teeth tugged at the thin strap of her bikini top then licked at her soft
skin. She tasted so good and I wanted more. My hand slid over her full
breasts, eliciting a moan from Winnie. The sound of her voice sent me
over the edge and I lost control.
Tugging back her bikini top, I sucked at her hard pink nipple.

Winnie moaned again, encouraging me. My body begged me to take
her to bed. I wasn't the only one hungry for more. Winnie's legs spread
when my fingers caressed the fabric of her bikini bottom.
Despite the pain of denying our desires, I forced myself to stop. Yet my
brain screamed lies. Stopping was a mistake. She was as aroused as I
was. I should wrap Winnie in my arms and take her to bed. I 'd love her
enough to make her forget all of the bad things from her past.
My heart or the actual smart part of my brain told me to back the fuck
off. I let her go for a moment and really looked at her. Past her arousal,
Winnie was lost in her head. I'd come so close to ruining what I was
building with Winnie. Even worse, I'd nearly hurt an already damaged
girl.
Trust.
Winnie really couldn't say no. When Tad warned me about Winnie's
problem, I hadn't understood what he meant. Now I could see it in her
blank expression. I wanted her and she wanted me to be happy. I
doubted Winnie knew what she truly wanted, so she shut down.
After helping her into the robe, I held Winnie in my arms. She wasn't
upset like many girls might be if a guy stopped in the middle of a heavy
make out session. Winnie didn't know enough about sex to feel
rejected. When I wanted her, she gave herself to me. When I wanted to
stop, she adjusted to this reality. She felt no power in the situation.
"You're a seductress," I teased while ignoring my erection.
"I love when you touch me."
Smiling at her flushed face, I wished I knew what Winnie needed. Most
girls sent signals about how far was too far. My girl gave until it was
too much then she hid in her head until it was over.
Patience might be a pain in the ass, but it was my only option if I
wanted to keep Winnie.
Chapter Seventeen ~ Winnie
Returning home from my date with Dylan, I didn't even want a shower.
I enjoyed an hour of TV with Harlow and a sleepy Jace. When we
headed to bed, I glanced at Cookie Monster. I felt too happy for my

security blanket. Hell, I even fell asleep with a smile on my face.
My dream was vivid in a way my dreams never were and I remembered
things I'd long forgotten.
Sugar Bum's sweaty body felt so heavy on top of me. His grunts
echoing in my head, I couldn't escape the reality of him inside me.
When he licked me with his dirty tongue, I closed my eyes and wished
I was dead.
"Oh, Ona," he moaned, finishing with hard thrusts.
I said nothing. I never spoke anymore. Sugar Bum didn't care. The only
thing he wanted me to say was "daddy," but I wouldn't do it. When he
was inside me, I shut down until I could barely remember my name.
After he was done, he yanked me out of bed by my hair and dragged me
to the door. Outside waited more men from the club. Like wolves
hungry for a fresh kill, they eyed me as Sugar Bum shoved me onto the
parking lot.
"I'm done," he said, yawning. "Who's next?"
The sound of his slamming door was like a starter's pistol as Sugar
Bum left me to be fought over by the others. I covered my head while
the men bashed into each other around me. The fight lasted until the
winner was so bloodied and enraged that my body took the punishment
remaining from his adrenaline rush. The losers were as violent when
they got their turns. Eventually, I felt nothing at all. I often prayed to
die, so I' d never feel anything again.
Waking to someone shaking me, I realized I was screaming. Much like
I couldn't find my voice in the past, I now couldn't turn it off. Mom
consoled me while Dad was on the phone with someone. I also saw
Harlow and Jace staring at me from the doorway.
These people weren't real, not like the dream had been. This house and
my life in Ellsberg were a fantasy. Only the hell with Sugar Bum was
real and I was drowning in the memories.
Mom hugged me and spoke in soft tones, but I understood nothing over
my screaming. Dad left the room then returned with the emergency
medication prescribed by Doctor Koryluk. I stared at him, unable to
stop screaming. While Mom held my wrists to keep me from clawing at
my face, Dad fumbled with the medicine bottle. All I heard was my

screaming and the cussing of men fighting to fuck me next.
"Shut up, Winona!" Dad yelled, startling me.
He stood bigger than usual and his face was ugly like the monsters I
feared.
"Take this pill!" he demanded.
Shaking, I obeyed for the same reason I obeyed Sugar Bum.
Compliance was better than pain.
I rocked back against the headboard, pushing away Mom's tender
touch. The screaming was over, replaced by fear of the man standing
nearby. Occasionally, I noticed my brother and sister peeking at me
from the doorway. I wanted to tell them to run before the monster got
them too, but my voice didn't work now.
Soon, the medicine made me drowsy and I no longer rocked. My body
rested lazily against the headboard as Mom cleaned the scratches on
my arms. The memories of Sugar Bum and his club faded into a long
ago nightmare.
Harlow and Mom helped me into the shower to clean up the mess I'd
made. So numb from the medicine, I couldn't even feel the water on my
skin.
I returned to the bedroom to find Dad had changed my sheets. He was
different now. No longer the monster, he returned to the man who
saved me from a life in foster care. This was the only father I ever knew
or needed.
Sleep didn't come for a long time. Mom and Dad stayed with me until
Harlow crawled into bed with Cookie Monster. She stared into my eyes
and told me she would keep me safe. I believed her too. Harlow was
strong in ways I wasn't and she'd saved me before.
Chapter Eighteen ~ Dylan
Already treating Cooper's office as a club hangout, Vaughn was like a
destructive toddler on a rampage through the construction site. Judd sat
nearby throwing sunflower seeds at his buddy. I could only pretend not
to notice the mess they were making. After all, they were enforcers.

Nick arrived for his shift to find mayhem. He frowned at Vaughn
juggling metal pipes then glanced at the seed throwing Judd. Finally, he
looked at me
"What's in this spray bottle?" he asked me.
"Water and maybe a little bleach."
Nodding, Nick took the bottle and sprayed Vaughn.
"Hey, dickweed," Vaughn growled.
Judd pointed a finger at the approaching Nick and shook his head.
"Don't even think about it."
"You want to stay dry then stop making a mess."
Judd glared. Vaughn glared. Nick only smiled and pointed the
bottle.
"What's it going to be?"
"Asshole," Vaughn said, wiping his shirt.
Judd said nothing, continuing to glare. He did stop throwing seeds
though.
Nick walked to me and set down the bottle. "You can't let them run all
over you. Trust me. My old roommate, Danny Boy, was a fucking slob
until I started spraying him and he finally learned to pick up after
himself."
"Why spray them though?"
"My first roommate had a cat and it worked on her, so I figured I'd try it
on people."
Leaning forward, I whispered, "They do kill people for a living."
Nick rolled his green eyes. "They won't kill us. In the future, feel free to
spray them if they get out of hand. It works on Bailey too, by the way."
I was still laughing about the Bailey comment when Harlow rushed
into the building. She ignored Vaughn's hello and came straight for me.
Based on her expression, I suspected I was about to get punched. I wasn
't wrong.
Harlow got a decent hit in before Vaughn pulled her back. Her one
punch did the trick and I tried to hide how much it hurt. Rubbing my
jaw, I waited for her to explain.
"Calm down, Harlow," Vaughn said when she struggled to break

loose from his grip.
"Dylan, you fuck! I warned you what Winnie was like! You said you'd
be careful, but you had to be greedy like every other fucking guy in the
world!"
"You think I' m greedy?" Vaughn asked, sounding offended. "Not
now!" she screamed.
"Shit," Judd said, standing between Harlow and me. "What did you do,
man?"
I heard the accusation in Judd's tone. Vaughn's humor was also gone.
Suddenly, I was the enemy. "I have no idea."
Harlow snorted. "You had to push her. What the fuck did you think
would happen?"
"What did happen?" Vaughn asked before I could.
"She had a breakdown last night," Harlow said and her words were a
punch to my gut. "She's medicated and barely coherent. That didn't
even happen when the Devils grabbed us. She was messed up, but not
like last night. You did something."
"I didn't..."
Judd focused his gaze on Vaughn. "Take Harlow home." "No way," she
cried.
Judd ignored Harlow's protests as Vaughn shepherded her out the door.
I waited for the enforcer to do what he was paid to do. Winnie was
protected by the Reapers and I hurt her. Despite how much she meant
to me, I'd broken the woman I loved.
"Did you two fuck?" Judd said quietly, directing to the back of the
office where we'd be alone.
Nick came along without being asked. I think he hoped to protect me,
but Judd only had me sit down then asked me the question again.
"No. We got close, but we haven't had sex."
Judd nodded. "Girls like Winnie put up a lot of walls to protect
themselves. To get close to a guy, they bring down the walls. Soon bad
shit gets in and reminds them of the pain they want to keep out. My
guess is Winnie freaked out because her walls couldn't keep the bullshit
out."

"What happens next?" I asked, waiting for him to kick my ass.
"You be patient. My woman has her issues too. I can't snap my fingers
and make them go away. If you care about Winnie, you be patient and
wait until she digs her way out of the crap. Maybe going to her will
help. Maybe not. I don't know Winnie and I'm not a fucking expert
about damaged girls. I just know if you bail now, you don't get a second
chance," Judd said then added, "I'll make sure of that even if her family
doesn't."
"Understood. I want to see Winnie and know if there's anything I can
do."
"I'll watch the place," Nick said instantly.
Judd checked his phone. "I'll call Tad and tell him you're coming.
Vaughn will talk to Harlow. Go before she gets hold of you again. I
suspect next time she's going for the balls."
Leaving Judd and Nick, I didn't know what to expect to find when I
reached Winnie. Was she lost to me now? I'd seen such a light in her the
last week. Stronger and happier, she was forcing her way into the world
and keeping the fear from stopping her.
Toni answered the door and stared at me for a bit too long.
"Did Harlow do that to your mouth?" she asked about my swelling
lip.
"Yeah. How is Winnie?"
Toni gestured for me to come inside. "I know you didn't hurt her.
Harlow is angry, but I know Winnie and I know she would tell me if
you did something. When she came home last night, she was in a really
good mood. Smiling and giggling."
"We moved too quickly," I said and my voice broke.
Nodding, Toni gestured for me to follow her. "Winnie wants it all now.
Young people always do. Love makes people especially stupid."
Toni paused next to a partially open door. "When I met Tad, he was
recently paroled and working as an assistant pastor. I was working as
an architect at a big firm and living in a high rise apartment. I always
had a taste for bad boys, but most of them were losers. Tad was special
and I wouldn't let him go. My friends figured I was having an early
midlife crisis. My parents thought I might be on drugs. No one

understood, but I wanted what I wanted and I didn't want to wait."
Opening the door to the room, Toni studied the bed where Winnie
rested hidden under a comforter.
"It worked out for me, but life's been harder on Winnie. She wants what
she wants, but she doesn't have control of herself like the rest of us.
When she's awake, the past is hidden. When she dreams though..."
I stared in at the top of Winnie's head and felt helpless. She trusted me
and I' d pushed her too far too fast. Hell, I barely kept my dick in my
pants.
"What should I do?"
"You can try talking to her, if you want. She's medicated, but not really
sleeping."
As I stepped into the room, my every movement felt too loud. Winnie
didn' t stir even after I knelt next to her bed.
Her eyes were open, yet unfocused. Her dark hair covered the right half
of her face and she held a Cookie Monster doll. Seeing nothing in her
eyes, I felt a hopelessness I'd never known before.
Part of me wanted to leave her and never look back. I'd broken
someone beautiful and delicate. All those nights I dreamed of having a
chance to show her what kind of man I was, yet I'd destroyed her.
"Will you stay?" Toni asked from behind me. "If you need to go to
work, you could come back later."
"Should I really stay? Aren't I the reason she's like this?"
"No," Toni said with a dark expression in her brown eyes. "Her old
father is the reason. The Vandals Motorcycle Club caused this too. Not
you. Do you want to stay?"
I nodded. "I feel selfish to stay, but I can't leave."
"Then don't," Toni said, tugging a corner chair closer to the bed.
"Watch TV or use your phone or nap. Whatever you need to do to stay
busy, but don't leave. Winnie needs people to show we still care. That
she can lose control and we'll still be there when she comes back from
it."
I didn' t know what Toni saw on my face, but she pulled me into a hug.
After a lifetime of cold mother figures, I clung to her and the warmth
she offered. After seeing her daughter suffer again, Toni needed

comfort too.
Soon, I sat in a chair, flipping channels, and stealing glances at the still
dazed Winnie. At one point, Harlow appeared at the door and glared at
me. I waited for her to say something, but she walked away instead.
Toni brought me a can of Coke then a sandwich. When she checked on
Winnie, her daughter never responded. Later, Tad arrived with a
kitchen chair and sat next to me after kissing the top of Winnie's head.
"Hardest thing about being a parent is not locking your kids up to
protect them," he said, staring at the TV. "If I had my way, Winnie and
Harlow would stay at home. No dating. No fighting at the
Thunderdome. Hell, I wouldn't let them leave without me or their mom
with them. I feel the same about Jace, but he doesn't want to go
anywhere anyway. The girls are ready to find freedom. They want to
grow up, so I have to let them."
Tad wasn't anything like my dad. Occasionally, I wondered if his calm
demeanor was a con. I remembered Larry's habit of playing the nice
guy to trick someone into dishing info he used against them later. I
never shared anything with my dad for this reason. Tad wasn't Larry
though.
"I don't know the right thing to do with Winnie. She makes me crazy
and I want her so much. I don't think I can be trusted with her."
Tad nodded. "Maybe you can't. When Winnie is truly awake, she'll
either reach for you or push you away. If she wants you, what can you
do? Walk away from a woman you need and who needs you too? No,
you'll stay because you have no choice. The heart falls easily into
addiction. Once it wants something, it doesn't let go. What can a man
do?"
Frowning, I thought about my parents and how their hearts were never
addicted long.
"Both my mom and dad have been married a bunch of times. They've
been engaged even more often. I grew up thinking love never lasted. I
didn't want the fleeting shit for me. I needed one person who made me
happy. A woman I can grow old with. For me, Winnie's that girl, but I
don't know if I should be the guy for her."

"Why not? You having shitty parents don't mean much, kid. I had great
parents and I turned out like shit for the first thirty years of my life. I
didn't get better on my own either. Doing time fixed a lot of my
problems because I didn't have the choice to run away from my
demons. You don't have that problem. You just need to stay put and
wait to see if Winnie is strong enough to make a life with you."
Winnie's eyes were closed, but she wasn't sleeping. I doubted she was
listening to us either. Her breathing remained serene.
"Sometimes, you need to be an asshole with Winnie," Tad said,
finishing his beer. "When she gets lost in the past, I have to yell at her
like I'm one of those fucks she's scared of. It's the only way to make her
obey long enough to take her medication. It doesn't happen often. Less
and less as she gets older, but I hate yelling at her. You'll hate it too, but
love isn't all picnics. You have to do what's right, rather than what feels
good."
Staring at Winnie, I couldn't imagine scaring her on purpose.
"Am I freaking you out?" Tad asked, wearing a little grin.
"No, I'm happy you're not kicking my ass for doing this to her."
"Don't be a whiner," Tad said, watching Winnie. "You didn't do shit.
The fuckers who broke her are long dead. We're the ones picking up the
pieces."
Nodding, I watched him approach the bed. Winnie moved around
under the covers and her eyes popped open. "No," she whimpered.
"What's your name?" he asked, leaning down.
Her gaze focusing on Tad, she whispered, "Winnie Todds."
"Who are your mom and dad?"
"Tad and Toni Todds."
"Sister and brothers. Don't forget the dumb one in prison." Winnie
smiled slightly. "Harlow, Jace, and Beckett Todds." "Who's this mopey
fella?" he asked, gesturing towards me. Winnie focused a moment
before her eyes widened. "Dylan." "I need to help Mom with dinner.
You two behave or I'll send Harlow in as a chaperone. You know she'll
love that."
Winnie watched her father leave then returned to staring at me.

"Cookie Monster," I said, kneeling next to the bed. "I had a Big Bird
when I was a kid."
Pushing aside the doll, she took my hand. "I live in Ellsberg. I have a
family and friends. You're my boyfriend."
I gave her a little grin. "Hell yeah, I am."
Winnie shivered under the covers. "I'm sorry this happened."
"Me too. You deserve to be happy."
"Will you stay?"
"As long as you'll let me."
Winnie smiled, but I saw her eyes losing focus. "My medicine makes
me out of it. Don't take anything I say personal."
"I won't," I said, finally letting myself touch her beautiful face.
Winnie shivered under my fingers. I spotted a smile before she faded
into a light sleep. She was so beautiful, but I noticed scratches and
bruises covering her arms. Even free from the Vandals, Winnie might
still be destroyed by their legacy.
Later when Winnie awoke, Toni convinced her to eat a small omelet.
"Mom makes great omelets," Winnie said, taking her medicine.
Fatigue kicked in after dinner. A nervous Winnie asked if I would stay
the night. Her parents wanted me close while Harlow wanted to kick
my ass out of the house. The important thing was what Winnie needed.
Her bed was comfy and the blankets warmed me as I listened to the
wild winds outside. The TV stayed on all night, but the sound was too
low to hear. I learned to deal with the strange room and the feeling of
people regularly walking past the open door.
Twice, Winnie woke up in a panic. The first time, she pushed me away
until realizing who I was. She cuddled closer and told me how much
she liked tomatoes in her omelets. The second time, she cried quietly
against me until her fingers slid up my tee. She murmured how much
she liked the hairs on my chest.
Eventually, Winnie slept deep and I followed her into a restful slumber.
After a long uncertain day, I slept next to the woman I'd dreamed of for
so long.

Chapter Nineteen ~ Winnie
The past slowly hid in the darkness of my memories. I woke up in the
middle of the night, panicked about missing work and leaving Lark
needing me. When I found Dylan resting next to me, I instantly relaxed.
"Raven has it handled until you're feeling better," he said as his fingers
explored my bare shoulder.
We watched each other for a long time before falling asleep. I awoke
again at three in the morning. Dylan was still sleeping and I couldn't
believe how beautiful he looked stretched out on my bed.
The warm arousal prickling my skin bothered me. I wasn't ready to be
the new Winnie yet. Instead, I slid out of bed and went to watch TV in
the living room where I could turn up the sound. To my surprise,
Harlow sat on the couch, wrapped in a quilt.
I sensed she was angry at me, so I didn't approach. Finally, Harlow
opened the quilt and gestured for me to join her.
"How are you feeling?" she asked, shivering even though the house
was warm.
"Tired and drugged. Are you mad at me?"
"Why would I be mad at you? I' m the one who set up you and Dylan. I
made this happen."
Cuddled up next to her, I frowned. "You gave me a chance to be with
the man I'd been dreaming about for months. You also saved me when
the Devils would have killed me."
Still frowning, Harlow stared at the TV. I knew what she was thinking.
I also knew what I needed to say, but I was scared. The fear and pain of
my ugly dream lingered in my thoughts. I really didn't want to talk
about more painful things and make the memories more powerful.
However, my sister needed me.
"You think it's your job to save me because you couldn't save your
brother and sister," I whispered and Harlow tensed against me. "It
wasn't your job to save them. You were a kid too."
"I know," Harlow said, but her voice betrayed a stubborn desire to fix
what she never broke.
"You did save me though. The bastard at the cabin was going to

hurt me. The others probably planned to take turns with me too. After
they were done, they'd have killed me. You saved us. You were the one
who fought back and got us away. You were the one who attacked the
guy. I helped, but you were the one who got the jump on him. You
saved
us."
Harlow looked unconvinced, so I continued, "Vaughn and the guys
never would have gotten to us in time. We would have died, if not for
you."
Harlow's angry eyes lost some of their heat. I cuddled closer to her.
"You didn't have the power to save your brother and sister. Your mom
couldn't save them, so how could you when you were still a kid? When
you had the power to fight back like that day at the cabin, you won."
Fighting tears, Harlow nodded. "I need to be strong. I refuse to be
someone's bitch. I won't be like that again." "You are strong." "I need to
be stronger."
Leaning my head against her shoulder, I struggled to find the right
words, but there were none.
"I love Dylan," I said. "Thank you for asking him out for me."
Harlow frowned at me for a long time then sighed. "I punched him in
the face yesterday. I thought he hurt you."
Even hating the idea of Dylan suffering because of me, I patted
Harlow's hand. "He's tough. I'm sure he walked it off."
Harlow gave me a slight smile. "Are you sure it's love? He's the first
guy you've ever dated."
I knew Harlow couldn't really understand how I felt because I didn' t
understand relationships before Dylan. I decided to explain it the only
way people like Harlow and I could relate to.
"I want him to touch me. That's how I know Dylan's special."
Harlow studied me. "I guess he is."
We sat quietly for twenty minutes before I yawned and she followed
suit.
"We should go to bed," Harlow said, without moving. "I'll still
probably watch TV a little bit longer."

"Did you have a bad dream too?"
Harlow brushed hair from my face. "No. I probably will and I'm in no
hurry for it."
I hugged her tightly and Harlow clung to me. The house felt too quiet
and I didn't want to leave her alone in the living room.
However, Harlow finally let me go and nudged me off the couch. As
she cuddled under the blanket and watched crappy TV, I returned to my
warm bed where Dylan slept in his perfectly sexy way. I prayed my
sister wouldn't have a nightmare tonight. Just to be safe, I prayed the
same for me.
Chapter Twenty ~ Dylan
Waking to find Winnie sitting in bed watching me, I felt like a blessed
man. Her dark hair hung loosely around her face, making her look
younger. The slight smile on her face warmed my heart and her hand on
my chest warmed the rest of me.
"Good morning," I mumbled, rubbing my face. "Did you sleep
well?"
Remaining very still, Winnie nodded. I didn't know what she was
thinking, but I felt nervous under her gaze.
"Did I drool or snore last night?" I asked and she gave me a little smile.
Once she shook her head, I added, "Did I fart so much you had to leave
the room to keep from passing out?"
Laughing softly, Winnie crawled closer. "You look like a guardian
angel when you sleep. Strong and perfect."
Cuddled in my arms, Winnie smiled at me. Her body held a chill while
mine was toasty warm. After a few minutes, she rested her head on my
chest and listened to my heart beating.
"Are you always this quiet in the morning?" I asked.
Winnie looked up at me and nodded.
"Good. I like beautiful quiet women."
Winnie's smile returned. "I have dreams and they all include you."
Lifting her chin so her lips met mine, I kissed her gently. Winnie sat up
and smiled.

"I have a bad case of morning breath," I mumbled, smiling at her.
"I' m really messed up, Dylan," she said, her smile gone.
Before I could respond, she leaned over and opened the dresser drawer
next to her bed. Winnie pulled out several bottles of medication and
dropped them in her lap.
"I take this pill every day for my panic attacks and mood swings. This
one I take when I can't sleep. This one is for when I freak out like the
other night."
Winnie stopped fiddling with the bottles and held my gaze. "I've been
in therapy for years. When I came to Ellsberg, I didn't talk. I cried if
someone touched me. There were times when I even wanted to die."
Winnie sighed. "Between my family and therapy, I got better. The
medicine helped too, but I'll always be messed up. I'm never going to
get fixed or grow out of it. Little things set me off. I get scared of stupid
stuff and I need a lot of reassurance. Even if you do everything right
and life is really easy for me, I'll still be messed up. I can't remember
most of the bad things that ruined me. They're not really forgotten
though."
Winnie held my gaze. "I wanted to be with you for a long time and
you're better than I imagined. As much as I hate having people touch
me, I crave being close to you. I know you're special and maybe my
only chance to be with a man. I really want us to work, but it's not fair
to lie to you. I can't pretend the other night was some one in a million
freak out. I can't make you think with enough time and love that I'll be
normal. You need to know what you're getting into. You deserve the
truth even if it makes you stop wanting me."
The easiest thing would be to tell Winnie none of what she said affected
me. Claim I wasn't scared of upsetting her or seeing her suffer.
Easy refused to be the answer. Winnie showed courage sharing with
me about her medications and fear. I could see how shaky she
remained. I suspected she feared I'd bullshit her then make a run for the
door.
No way was I taking the easy route.
"I used to have a stalker-like crush on Lark," I announced.
Winnie's eyes widened, but she didn't say anything.
"Since I was old enough to get a date, I had a thing for cold bitchy

women. Even though I kept picking them, I'd get mad when they'd act
like cold bitches. I was basically trying to date my fucking mom who
hugged me with one arm because two armed hugs were for lovers."
After rolling my eyes at my mother's logic, I quickly continued my
story before Winnie decided I was a freak and asked me to leave.
"Lark was gentle with me one fucking time and I decided she was the
girl for me. I didn't care that she saw me as a brother. I didn't care when
she fell for Aaron. I was an asshole and I can't pretend I had a good
reason. I just decided she was mine and that was fucking it."
Winnie stared at me like I was a stranger. I refused to let her fear stop
me from finishing.
"I'm telling you this because you think that you're messed up and I'm
not. Maybe I don't have to take medicine or go to therapy. That doesn't
mean I'm a healthy guy falling for an unhealthy girl. It only means my
sickness is harder to see."
I took Winnie's hand in mine. "What I had with Lark was based on an
idea. She was nice to me and I decided it was a sign. Nothing else
mattered. With you, my feelings aren't about a fantasy. They're about
you. The good and bad and scary and beautiful of you. Everything
about you makes me happy and the dream I have is built around you.
Lark was a lie I told myself, but you're real."
"Lark is really pretty."
"Yeah, she's my best looking sister."
Winnie smiled. "I really want to be jealous of Lark. She's crazy about
Aaron and having his twins, so I feel like jealousy might be dumb."
Pulling her closer, I inhaled the sweet scent of her clean skin. "I agree
having the girl I love jealous of my sister would be a little dumb."
Winnie shuddered in my embrace. "I love you too. I wanted to love you
last summer. I wanted you to be special because I liked you so much. I
didn't think what I saw was real or you wouldn't want the real me.
Except you're better than I dreamed."
"Even with morning breath?" I asked, kissing her neck.
Wiggling under my touch, she kissed my cheek then her lips moved to
mine. I wanted to kiss the hell out of her, steal her breath and

the pain of her past. I wanted everything, but I really needed to brush
my teeth. I'd always been vain that way.
Chapter Twenty One ~ Winnie
As Dylan showered in my bathroom, I sat on my bed and struggled not
to imagine him naked. My attempt failed.
I kept thinking of him wet under the warm water. Soap covering his
tanned muscled arms. Water streaming down his powerful back and
chest. Perfect flesh only a door away from me.
By the time the shower shut off, I crossed my arms to hide my hard
nipples. I hated my arousal, yet also craved it. The past, present, and
future wrapped me up into a ball of frustration. Finally, Dylan appeared
dressed in his jeans and one of Dad's shirts.
His skin looked so good I reached for his bare arms. My fingers
caressed the damp flesh from his wrists to under his tee. Dylan's
breathing caught and our gazes locked. His hands cupped my face
while mine gripped his shirt. Our lips met and I didn't care about my
parents in the next room. I forgot they even existed.
One of Dylan's hands caressed my face while the other pressed against
the small of my back. Snuggled in his strong arms, I moaned as the kiss
deepened. His tongue tasted minty and I wanted more.
Even sensing Dylan didn't want to stop, he eased away. "Got rid of my
morning breath," he mumbled.
Pressing my hands against his chest, I stroked the hard muscles hidden
under his shirt.
"I'll feel better by this weekend. I want to spend the night at your
apartment."
Dylan exhaled hard. "Are you sure that's a good idea?" "I need to do it
and get it out of the way." "Out of the way?"
"With my problems, the first time will be awkward. Farah said the key
is to practice," I murmured, staring into his eyes. "Don't you want to
practice being inside me?"
Dylan's breath caught. "Hell, Winnie. You're killing me," he

muttered, adjusting himself. "I have to go talk to your parents and
you've got me hard as a rock."
"I have some pills that might mellow you out."
Dylan frowned until he realized I was teasing. "I'll wait as long as you
want. If you want to spend the night, I'll happily agree. Anything you
want, I'll do. I'm your slave, Winona Todds."
Covering my mouth, I giggled at the expression on his face. "I've never
had a slave before. Does that mean I get to boss you around when we're
naked?"
Dylan's smile faded and he narrowed his eyes at me. "You are trying to
get me worked up, aren't you? Naughty girl."
"Power is fun," I said, running my fingers down his chest.
Licking his lips, Dylan nodded. "I'm going to need another shower."
"Sorry, but it's time for breakfast. I really should keep my strength up
for this weekend."
Dylan gave me a look that made me both proud and terrified. I had this
gorgeous man wrapped around my finger. After months of hoping for
such an outcome, I wasn't sure I was strong enough to take the next
step.
Chapter Twenty Two ~ Dylan
My mind swam with thoughts of Winnie. During lunch, I sat in a corner
at a small deli and listened to Journey with my earplugs. All the while,
I imagined Winnie sitting next to me.
I missed her like crazy. Too much really. How I could function long
term feeling so overwhelmed by such need? Would the need lessen
once we'd spent enough time together? Or would I learn to live with the
all encompassing desire for Winnie?
Walking back to Cooper's office, I passed one of the two antique shops
in Ellsberg. Evoking Memories was also the only place in town where
my father could buy those stupid bear figurines he collected.
I passed the store hundreds of times over the last few weeks without
running into Larry or Margo. On this cold sunny day, my luck

ran out.
My father was a tall man. At sixty, he remained appealing to women.
Despite his cold eyes, he possessed a head full of hair and a sizable
bank account. His latest wife Margo somehow managed to create the
lovely Lark and the beautifully bitchy Raven.
"Dad. Margo," I said, hoping to keep walking.
Dad's body language demanded I stop and talk. Likely out of habit, I
obeyed.
"Hello, Dylan," Margo said from behind Dad.
Giving her a quick nod, I hoped Dad made the lecture quick.
"Hello, son. Glad to see you got rid of that ridiculous hairstyle of yours.
I also heard your business was expanding too. Rumor even has it that
you're dating a preacher's daughter. I thought my embarrassment of a
son had finally cleaned up his act."
The sad part was this bullshit was the closest my father had gotten to
complimenting me in years.
"Unfortunately, I hear your business is helping the Johanssons, making
it likely a front for money laundering. Plus, that preacher is an ex-con
thug."
Opening my mouth to put Larry in his place, I really wanted to slug
him. Violence and cussing wouldn't fix anything. Not with a guy like
Larry. He'd have me arrested as another form of revenge for taking
Lark' s side over his.
Before I could make a move I'd likely regret, Dad focused behind me. I
followed his gaze and found Judd staring at us behind mirrored glasses.
"Have we met?" Larry asked in a gruff tone that made Margo flinch.
"Naw, but I've seen you around. You're the big city council guy, right?"
Judd muttered, shaking his hand really hard based on my dad's grimace.
"Larry," Dad said, tugging his hand away.
"People call me The Ripper. I got that name in prison from this thing I'd
did when people messed with me or my friends. See," Judd said,
stepping closer and lowering his voice, "I'd shove these two

fingers..." Judd paused to show his index and middle finger. "Up a
guy's asshole and tear open that real tender spot between the hole and
the balls. You know that spot, don't you, Larry?"
My father gave a little nod and Judd stepped back.
"Yeah, well, it was a thing I did back then and I've done it from time to
time since. That's why people call me The Ripper. Funny story,
huh?"
Larry struggled to hide his disgust, but his fear was clearly on display.
"It was nice meeting you, Ripper," he said, taking Margo by the elbow.
"The Ripper," Judd corrected. "Mister The Ripper. Have a good day."
"Right back at you, Larry."
My father hurried to his car and shoved Margo inside. I watched them
speed away then frowned at Judd. He was eyeing leaves swirling
around in the cold breeze.
"I didn't know you did time," I said, instead of asking about that whole
ass thing.
"I didn't," Judd said, lifting his glasses to wink at me. "Vaughn bet me I
couldn't use the phrase 'stuck my fingers up a guy's ass' in a threat.
Now, he owes me a hundred bucks."
"I guess a guy like you can say he sticks his fingers up a guy's ass and
no one gives him shit. If I said that, well..."
"You're a candy ass? Is that what you're saying?" When I shrugged,
Judd punched me in the gut. I sensed he was teasing me, but it hurt
anyway. "You attacked cold ass killers with a hammer. You also
stepped up and helped Nick when his dad and those assholes showed
up. I think your problem is you lead a soft life and you confuse that for
being a soft man."
"My life is pretty soft."
Judd sized me up. "Wanna toughen it up, kid?" "How?" I asked,
suspicious.
"I like how you worry. Only a stupid fuck would trust a guy who rips
out guys' assholes," Judd said, grinning. "You ever go

paintballing?" "No."
"You know how to shoot?"
"A little."
"Well," Judd said, gesturing for me to follow him to his bike. "With
Cooper taking over the business, Kirk wanted to have a get-together
with some outside friends. You get how I can't be more specific than
that, right?"
When I nodded, Judd continued, "So next spring, friends from
Memphis are visiting Ellsberg to have a meet and greet. Part of that is
going to be a paintball match or two. A lot of Kirk's guys aren't so fast
on the draw anymore, so he's looking to prep the younger guys."
"And you want me to prep with you?"
"You and Winnie still getting along okay?"
"Yeah, she's my woman."
Judd nodded. "If she and you end up together for good, I see you being
more than just crew material. Cooper needs loyal guys. Smart guys
who aren't only muscle. He'd like Nick to help out, but school boy
doesn't want to get his hands dirty. I get that, but I think you'd look
good
dirty."
I wasn't sure what to make of Judd's offer. Despite my uncertainty, no
way would I give up a chance to paintball with guys like Judd. "Sounds
good. What do I have to do?"
"Just show up at Kirk's place at nine on Saturday morning. We'll gear
up and create teams. Then it's just the first of many practices. The guys
from Memphis do this shit constantly. If we don't get ourselves
organized, they'll destroy us. Cooper will be pissed if that happens."
"Saturday morning. Got it."
Judd glanced at where Larry had stood. "Your dad is a fuckwit. You're
lucky you don't take after him."
Smirking, I watched Judd disappear down the road.
My life had taken a lot of turns since I stood up to my dad. My business
was more successful. I had friends who wouldn't ditch me on my dad's
orders. I'd found a woman I imagined building a life with too. As long
as I refused to step back into my father's way of thinking, the

good times could continue. Chapter Twenty Three ~ Winnie
My first trip out of the house after my freak out was to get a manicure
and pedicure with the girls. We met at the beauty salon and sat in a line
with our feet out. Harlow refused to come along though I suspected her
fingers needed pampering more than anyone's.
"What do you know about sexy sex?" Raven asked from a few chairs
down from me.
"Isn't it like regular sex?"
"No. For one thing, it feels good."
Feeling awkward now, I nodded.
"There are sexy phrases that turn guys on," Raven continued.
Bailey snorted. "This isn't going to be your 'your cock is the key that
opens my treasure chest,' is it? I tried that on Nick and he laughed. Not
in a horny way either. He thought I was drunk on cold meds."
"You probably said it wrong."
Tawny smirked. "There's no real way to say that right, Raven. It's
dumb."
"Did you even try it?"
"No, but I did tell Judd about it, so he'd feel superior to Vaughn. It
totally worked and he fucked me spectacularly as a thank you. Hey,
maybe that' s how it needs to be used."
Raven glared at Tawny. "It works. Trust me that Vaughn loves that
stuff."
"He's a horny freak," Bailey muttered. "Doesn't everything get him
ready?"
Raven flipped them off then turned back to me. "Did you mention that
thing I taught you? The one where you talk about him being inside you?
Guys like the idea of exploring new territory."
"Like Lewis and Clark," Farah said, playing with her phone.
When everyone laughed, I did too. Yet I was nervous about
remembering their advice.
"Lick your lips a lot," Bailey suggested.

Maddy shook her head. "That'll get him thinking about blowjobs. Don't
bend over too much either because then he'll think of butt action."
"Wow, now I know way too much information about how my brother
fucks you," Bailey grunted. "Today is a real learning experience."
Tawny pushed Raven back and leaned over her to see me. "Dylan has
more experience than you. Let him take charge and learn what you like.
All this sexy line crap is stupid. He already wants you and I'm sure any
green light will get him ready to go."
"Now I' m focusing on my brother getting laid," Raven complained.
"Huh, I guess I should have seen that coming."
Bailey rolled her eyes. "Tucker's been my brother longer, so my whine
is more sympathetic."
"Not really," Raven said, slapping Bailey's arm.
Eyes narrowing, Bailey hissed. "Bring it."
"I' m getting the water bottle out," Farah warned, setting aside her
phone. "Let's stop talking about Winnie and Dylan having sex. It's
freaking her out."
When they all looked at me, I faked as if I didn't feel put on the spot.
Based on their expressions, I wasn't successful.
"The first time is always awkward," Farah said.
Now everyone looked at her and she faked a casual expression. "Isn't
it?"
Tawny shook her head. "My first time was really hot, but it was
with Judd."
Her sister glared at her, but Tawny only smiled.
Raven grinned. "Vaughn went down on me as soon as we got into his
apartment. I was immediately a fan of his moves."
"He's whipped," Bailey said, shaking her head. "What a girly bitch you
have there." When Raven smacked her again, Bailey growled, "Bitch,
it's coming."
"Ooh, I'm terrified, princess."
"How about you, Maddy?" I asked, ignoring Raven and Bailey's staring
contest.
"It was great," she said with a little smile. "I mean, I think it was. I

don' t really know. We were pretty drunk, but I remember thinking he
looked so hot naked. Yeah, it was great."
"So the only one who can't fuck correctly is Cooper," Bailey
announced. "More info about my brother's dongs that I didn't need."
"If you don't want to hear about your brothers plowing their wives, stop
hanging out with us," Maddy muttered, opening a magazine. "I'm not
interested in you telling us about getting porked either, but I keep my
mouth shut."
Bailey sighed. "Nick sure porks me good."
Everyone laughed since Bailey was completely serious.
"I can't wait until Lark has her litter," Bailey said once the laughter died
down. "That way, she can have fun with us."
Farah rubbed her growing bump. "I suspect she'll be busy caring for her
litter."
"We'll ditch Raven with the babies while Lark has fun with us. She's
the better sister anyway."
Raven leaned over to Bailey and whispered, "Lark talks shit about you
when you're not around."
"Don't buy it," Bailey said, waving her off. "Lark is a sweet pixy with
eyes like stars. You're the rotten skank version of her."
"Why are you two fighting so much?" Tawny grumbled.
"We're not fighting," Bailey balked. "You're too sensitive, Tawny. I
mean that in a nice way because of how I'm a nice person."
"She really is," Raven said.
Tawny glared at them both. "Blondes."
"Yeah," Maddy said, caressing her blonde locks. "We're so awful that
the rest of you look bad in comparison."
Bailey and Raven high-fived Maddy while Tawny switched seats to sit
next to her sister. Watching their easy confidence, I felt lost in the
conversation.
Eventually, I daydreamed while they shared sex stories and in-jokes.
During their louder moments, I decided my outing wouldn't end with
my pretty nails. Though I told Mom and Dad I would come home
afterwards, I drove to Lark's house.
The dogs ran to the door when I arrived and followed me around

until Lark woke from her nap.
"Surprise," I said, helping her out of bed. "Raven will be over later.
First she wanted to be alone with Vaughn."
"Did you guys talk a lot about sex? That'll get her worked up every
time."
Nodding, I smiled while propping her feet up.
"I will get you lunch then I'm going to do your nails."
Lark wiped her sleepy eyes and smiled brightly. "I want to be pretty
just like all you cool kids."
"It won't be long before you can go out and have fun again."
Lark rubbed her belly as I made her lunch. She was still caressing the
bouncing bump when I returned.
"They're kicking like crazy," she said, placing the plate on her stomach.
"I don't think they're going to make it to my due date."
"It'll be okay," I said softly, though I worried too.
Lark enjoyed her salad while watching Judge Judy. Once she finished
eating, I sat on the table with her feet resting on the pillow on my lap.
We decided on painting the nails on her left side blue and the ones on
her right side pink.
"When the babies come," she said, smiling as I painted her toenails,
"I'll be in the hospital for a few days at least. My in-laws want to have
us stay with them for a week or so afterwards. My OB says he only
does C-sections for multiples, so I know I'll be dealing with the pain of
that. Anyway, while I'm on the mend, you can have a vacation."
"I can help if you want."
"Aaron and his family have everything planned, so I'm going to let
them run things. Once I feel like me again, I'll be the boss again," she
said, giving me a wink. "I'm sure I'll be overwhelmed with two of them
ganging up on me. So yeah, I'll need your help once we're home."
"I' m good with babies," I said, blowing on her toes. "I freaked out
when I had mine, but I' m not like that anymore. I watch babies at
church all the time."
"You were just a kid when you had your baby," Lark whispered. "I
would have freaked out too."
"It's hard to move around once the C-section starts to heal. I

remember it hurt more the second day than the first. I also remember
that people made a big deal out of me not getting constipated."
Lark laughed. "How romantic for Aaron to spend our first year
worrying about my pooping."
I smiled. "He's going to look so sexy holding a baby. I remember
thinking Kirk was so scary even though he was always nice to me.
Then I saw him carrying around Sawyer and he never seemed scary
again. Big strong guys holding babies are really sexy."
Lark adjusted on the couch. "Don't make me horny please. I have no
outlet. Orgasms are off limits."
"Why?"
"It can bring on labor."
"Oh. I didn't learn much about pregnancy when I was pregnant. I just
did what people told me to do. I never even felt like the baby was
mine."
Lark placed her hands on a pillow while I painted her fingers.
"Because you knew he was going to be adopted?"
"No," I said softly. "When I felt him moving around in me, back before
I came to live in Ellsberg, I assumed he would die. A part of me kept
thinking that even after he was born."
Blowing on her wet nails, I held her gaze. "I was messed up back
then."
"It'll be different when you're ready. Hell, I wasn't ready, but I had met
the man of my dreams and was in love. Ready or not, we're having our
babies soon."
"Not too soon hopefully."
Lark sighed. "Soon."
We held each other's gazes and I saw her worry. Soon though, she was
cooing over her nails. She loved being pampered so much that we
played with her hair next. By the time Aaron arrived home with dinner,
his muse was a sexy round goddess.
Chapter Twenty Four ~ Dylan
The moment I saw Tad waiting on the street for me, I assumed my

weekend with Winnie wasn't happening. His expression was
unreadable as he checked his phone and leaned against my SUV. When
he noticed me, Tad gave me a big fake smile.
"Can we talk?" he asked and I felt my stomach clench with dread.
"Sure."
"Let's grab a cup of coffee," he said, already walking towards the shop
down the street.
Following him, I bought a small coffee since I was tense now. Tad
ordered a large one, even though I sensed he was tense too. Once we sat
at a table, he gave me another fake smile.
"Winnie is spending the weekend at your place."
This wasn't a question, but I nodded anyway.
Tad ran his index finger over the seam in the cup. I didn't know what he
was thinking, but I wasn't giving up Winnie. I even found myself
imagining us running away together. With a little money saved up, I
could take her away and protect her whether her parents understood or
not.
"She has nightmares," he finally said. "If she says, 'I'm here' then you
need to tell her you see her. Also remind her of her name and where she
lives."
"Okay," I said.
"When we moved to Chattanooga a few years back, Winnie had trouble
adjusting to the new house. She woke up scared every night and needed
her Cookie Monster doll a lot. The doll isn't really a comfort thing. It's
more like a focus object. Her second therapist taught her to focus on the
doll and remember where she got it. Who bought it? How she's free.
She needs reminders when she's scared."
"I'll remember."
"I' m not blind. I know you and my daughter have something real. I also
know she's getting stronger because of you. She's pushing herself and I
want her to be happy. I don't want you to be unprepared for the issues
Winnie will have. Not just this weekend, but forever. She'll get
stronger, but life broke her years ago."
Tad tasted his hot coffee. "Not bruised, but broke. She won't ever be
free. I need you to understand that. You can be everything she needs,

but she will always have problems. There's no fixing the damage done
to Winnie, but she's learned to work around it. How to handle fear. Her
phobias about people and touching. Her desire to hide away in the
house rather than face the world. She pushes herself to work around
those problems, but they won't go away."
Tad glanced hard at a few loud guys walking past and I got a glimpse of
the club guy underneath all the happy talk. He turned back to me and
sighed.
"Harlow wants to blame you for triggering things, but the reality is
Winnie can' t cope like a normal person. Some people are fragile from
the moment they're born. Winnie was never going to take on the world
and kick its ass. She would always be weak. Life stomped on someone
gentle and left her barely functioning."
Tad's dark gaze softened. "She can be happy though. You make her
smile. Don't forget that when she stops smiling. There are days when
Winnie won't smile. She'll stop talking too. That's not about what
happened with the Devils or being with you. It's just how she copes
when things build up inside her. Her mom and I roll with her moods.
We'll leave for work when she's staring at the wall, silent to the world.
We' ll return to find her playing videogames with Jace. She always digs
her way out. If you' re patient, she can be happy."
"I love her," I said, thinking about how much she suffered. I also
thought of how she smiled for me. How I made her laugh. Winnie had
my number too and could twist me up inside with an easy smile. "I
don't want anyone else."
Tad smiled softly. "She's a good kid. I still remember the first time she
laughed for me. I was always trying to get her to smile, but she would
only watch me. I scared her. The only one who didn't make her flinch
was Kirk, if you can believe that. He found her and she followed him
around like a puppy. The only reason she stayed with us that first night
was because he told her to. She stared out the front window when he
left and remained there, hoping he would come back. It took me a long
time to become her dad, instead of a potential threat."
Tad drank more coffee. "I hadn't wanted you two to date. Protective
dad and all that, but Toni saw Winnie seeking you out like she

never did other men. Even after the Devils grabbed the girls and
Vaughn started coming around to see Harlow, Winnie wasn't interested
in him. She was the same way with Kirk's sons. When they were
around, she hid in her head. With you, she's different. Toni forced me
to back off. Trust me that I didn't want to."
We shared a smile between two men willing to die to protect the same
girl.
"The first time I saw Winnie," I said, "she was hiding behind Harlow. I
understood she wasn't like any other girl I was ever interested in. Even
knowing that, I couldn't stop thinking about her."
"You sitting out in the car made Toni worry about you. I understood
though. After Toni and I first went out, she gave me mixed signals. She
was torn between her safe life and the bad boy she wanted. She ran hot
and cold. For me, it was simple and I only ran hot."
Tad again glanced at the loud guys outside before returning to his story.
"More than once, I hung outside her apartment. I wanted to force her to
admit she wanted the same thing I did. A lot of nights I got close to
knocking on her door, but I gave her space. Eventually, she knocked on
my door. Patience is the hardest fucking thing in the world."
"I'm not sure Winnie's ready to spend the weekend at my place, but I
can' t tell her no."
"I can't either. I really want to. Instead, I can only warn you about
problems she might have."
"If she has any problems, I'll call you. I'm not too proud to ask for help,
if it'll ease Winnie's fears."
"Good," Tad said, finishing his coffee. "I know you didn't have a great
family. Don't know about your mom, but Dad looks like a son of a
bitch. Bad parents will screw up a person, but good parents don't ensure
anything either. Look at me. I had the kind of parents that treat their
kids like gifts from God. My brother and sister turned out to be
superstars. I got in trouble early and kept doing it until prison. Even
now, I'd run wild if not for Toni cracking the whip and Kirk keeping me
on a leash. Some people need a lot of hand holding. Winnie and I are
like that. You seem more self-sufficient like Toni. Opposites attract, I
guess."
"If I can have with Winnie what you have with your wife, I'll be a

happy man."
Tad gave me a little grin. "Heard Judd roped you into the paintball
match this weekend."
"I've been craving more physical shit in my life."
"Harlow is doing it too. The girl needs endless physical shit in her life.
She has so much anger built up from years of feeling powerless."
"I assume she'll shoot me," I said, grinning. "Even if we're on the same
team."
"Likely. Just remember it's not personal. If Harlow didn't like you,
you'd be dead. I have no doubt she could do it too."
Despite worrying over Harlow's anger, I appreciated how many people
wanted to protect Winnie. She deserved the concern after those earlier
in her life showed so little.
Chapter Twenty Five ~ Winnie
Dylan's apartment was a blank slate. No pictures on the walls, no rugs
on the floor, nothing personal anywhere. I suspected growing up with
his parents always moving into a new house and creating new families
left him unable to build a real home.
"Do you like the walls bare?" I asked, pinching my wrist.
Dylan studied me with his dark eyes. Tonight, we would have sex.
When he picked me up, I reminded him of my plans. I wanted sex and
he was giving it to me. Normally, a guy would be thrilled to get laid,
but Dylan looked nervous as we stood in his living room.
"I have no idea what to do with this place. When I renovate houses, I
hire someone to decorate. You know, pick paint and stuff."
"When I move out of my parents' house, I want a house that is warm
like theirs. Would you like that?"
"To live in your house?" he asked, giving me a grin.
"Yes. I might let you rent a room, if you promise to walk around with
your shirt off."
"Oh, I can make that promise."
Sharing a smile, we sat quietly for a minute then Dylan asked if I
wanted to watch TV.

"I think we should have sex soon." "Okay," he said, losing his smile.
"When I used the bathroom earlier, I took a mild sedative to make sure
I didn't freak out during sex."
Dylan frowned. "You're drugged up?"
"I' m not out of it, just relaxed. Like drinking a beer kind of relaxed."
"I don't want you to feel like you can't stop if you want," he said,
rubbing the back of his neck. "I don't want to stop."
"You don't know how you'll feel once we're...you know...together."
Running my fingers down his chest, I shivered. "I want to know what it
feels like to be with you. That doesn't mean I won't get weird about it."
I paused then poked his chest. "Don't make me feel bad for getting
weird."
Dylan cupped my face and kissed me softly. Once my hands gripped
his shirt, the kiss deepened and his tongue found mine. My first instinct
was to pull away. Ignoring the urge, I wrapped my arms around his
waist.
Dylan's lips sucked at my jaw then my neck. By the time he nipped my
ear, I wanted to get started.
"Let me get undressed," I said, easing away.
Dylan scratched at his chest scar. "We should go slower."
"Don't you want to feel inside me?"
Dylan shuddered. "Stop talking like that."
"I want you to touch me and make me come."
Dylan narrowed his eyes. "Did someone coach you to say these
things?"
"No," I lied, inching back towards his bedroom. "I need to do this
soon."
"Why?"
"It's like when I was in line for the Ferris wheel. I knew I would hate it,
so I got scared, but the wait made it worse. I need to get this over
with."

Dylan's jaw tensed and those dark eyes focused hard on my face. "I hate
thinking of us being together as something you need to endure."
The sexy talk Raven and the others suggested had backfired. Or maybe
I was too honest. Either way, Dylan looked less interested in sex than
when we arrived.
"When you touch me, I get excited. That excitement makes me
remember ugly times. Once we've been together, the excitement will
make me remember being with you. So even though it'll be crappy the
first time, I'll be stronger afterwards. Strong enough for the next million
times to be great."
"Million times?" Dylan asked, giving me a naughty grin. He tugged off
his shirt and tossed it on the couch. "I see a real future for us, Winnie,
so I think you're low-balling that number."
Smiling, I glanced at his bedroom. "I'm getting naked and hiding under
the covers. I can't see you naked and I don't want you to see me naked.
I'll freak out. I want to feel you, not see you."
"I've never felt hotter," he said, leaning on the couch. "I trust you know
what's best."
"Trust is good," I mumbled, inching towards his bedroom. "Give me a
few minutes to get ready. Then come in and have sex with me."
Laughing, Dylan rubbed his jaw. "Have sex with me. This feels weird."
I peeked out from the door and held his gaze. "Once I get the hang of
being naked around you, I'm kissing every inch of your body. I'll claim
you too. Once you're mine, I won't let you go. I'm not kidding either. If
you think you have stalker tendencies, you ought to see me in action."
Dylan expression shifted from awkward to a kind of male curiosity that
both scared and excited me.
Leaving him to wonder what Stalker Winnie might be like, I shut the
door. I stripped my clothes off, looked in the mirror while avoiding
seeing myself from the neck down, and finally climbed into his bed.
The sheets smelled clean, but I preferred Dylan's cologne to the scent of
mountain spring.
I thought to spread out my hair on the pillow. Posing felt gross

though. Everything felt gross when I thought about it too much.
Struggling against the urge to pinch my hands, I closed my eyes and
imagined Dylan's half smile.
When he entered the room, I kept my eyes shut. Instead, I focused on
the first time I saw Dylan with his shirt off. Where I once felt shame
about my lust, I now embraced the warm feelings.
The bed shifted and Dylan climbed under the covers, causing me to
flinch. A part of me remembered the way the bed moved when one of
the Vandals climbed on top of me. Feeling the past returning, I reached
for Dylan.
His skin was hot under my fingertips. As his lips found mine in the dark
room, I slid my body under his and spread my legs.
"My name is Winnie," I whispered. "I live in Ellsberg."
"My name is Dylan," he whispered in my ear. "You're my woman and I
love you."
Opening my eyes, I smiled at him. "I love you too. I'm scared, but I
trust you completely."
Dylan's lips smiled against mine as he kissed me again. I ran my fingers
slowly over his chest, relishing the feel of every hair and hard muscle.
Placing my palm over the scar, I felt his heart racing.
Dylan sucked at my earlobe, licked at my throat. He moved lower,
tasting and teasing my shoulders and collarbone.
His lips returned to mine and tested my resolve. I hungrily returned his
affection. Even terrified, I was unwilling to stop.
His cock was hard against my thigh and I shuddered at the thought of it
inside me. No way was I strong enough to handle sex. Yet I refused to
stop with Dylan. Never did I dream I could want this kind of closeness
and my body demanded more.
Dylan's tongue grazed the tips of my already hard nipples. I squirmed
under his touch. He paused, waiting for me to stop him. Instead, I
stroked his back.
"Feels so good," I moaned.
Dylan responded by sucking my left nipple into his hot mouth. The
pleasure was so intense I nearly jumped off the bed. His wet mouth
sucked at my nipple, licking and nipping at the hard flesh.

My hips wiggling, I laughed at how amazing his touch felt. When
Dylan returned to my lips, he was smiling.
"Now," I whispered, my hips searching for him.
Dylan didn't hesitate, but he was still tender. Teasing between my legs,
he tested how wet I was before pressing his cock against me.
"I want you."
"Hell yeah, you do," he said, sucking at my lips.
The feel of him filling and stretching me brought on a powerful panic.
As if sensing my fear, Dylan paused once I was full. His finger teased
my nipples and let me adjust to the feel of him.
"You're so sexy," he whispered. "I've wanted you for so long."
Lifting my hips, I smiled at the way he groaned. "You're Dylan and this
is my choice."
"Tell me you want me."
"I want you, Dylan. You feel perfect inside me." I wasn't lying either. I
knew the man on top of me was Dylan. He was the one moving inside
me. I loved Dylan and wasn't afraid.
Chapter Twenty Six ~ Dylan
Winnie laughed when she orgasmed. The first time it happened, I was
startled. Normally, a chick laughing in bed was a bad sign of a guy's
ability. Winnie soundedjoyous though. She clung to me and giggled
until tears ran down her face. I kissed them away while moving faster
inside her.
"I love you," I whispered in her ear as I came hard.
Legs wrapped around my hips, Winnie giggled again. She was so
happy that I laughed too. The sound of her joy was infectious. Winnie
didn't want to let me go, but I finally climbed off her.
Immediately, she was in my arms, her hand caressing everything in
reach until settling on my cock.
"That was so amazing. You're mine and I'm keeping you."
Laughing, I wrapped an arm around her while she stroked me. "I'm
your slave, Winona Todds."
"I was so nervous that I'd remember bad stuff. Instead, I stayed

here with you the whole time."
"You were perfect," I murmured, kissing her softly. "I'm proud of you
too. I should warn you though. If you keep stroking my cock like that, I'
m going to need you again."
"That's the plan. I want to feel good again. I deserve that," she said,
revealing a hint of anger. "I gave other people pleasure. They took and
never gave me anything. I thought it would never be any different, but
you're special. You're my chance and I want more."
My cock grew hard and long from her steady stroking. Winnie watched
me in the darkness and we shared a smile.
When my hand teased her soft round ass, Winnie sighed. "Touch me,"
she whispered, pressing my other hand on her tit. "Make me beg for
it."
Smiling, I rolled her nipple between my fingers until Winnie turned to
liquid against me.
"Dylan," she whimpered. "Please."
"There's the begging I was waiting for," I said, resting her onto her
back. "Winnie, you are so wet."
"I want you inside me," she moaned as I stroked her with my cock.
"Help me put on the condom," I said. "Your fingers feel so good on my
cock." Winnie rolled the condom over my erection. "See how hard you
make me, baby?"
Winnie lifted her gaze from my cock to my face. Smiling, she wiggled
her hips, waiting for me to fill her. Her expression shifted from excited
anticipation to pure bliss.
More than once, Winnie gasped in the darkness. Was she in pain or
scared? Were her past memories causing her to lose control? Whenever
I stopped though, she caressed a part of me and even squeezed my ass.
Then I knew she was losing control in the best way.
Winnie was perfection and I couldn't get enough of her. The
intoxicating flavor of her skin and lips made me crazy. Her wet pussy
clenched at my cock, wanting more. Winnie whimpered for me to fuck
her harder when she knew I was close to coming.
Twice, I thought we should rest. I didn't want to push Winnie too far.
Her hands teased my cock while her lips sucked at skin. Winnie was

irresistible and I couldn't deny her. Though the lights remained off, we
explored and fucked until exhausted.
I waited until Winnie fell asleep before closing my eyes. My neighbors
were having a party next door which I didn't notice until I tried to sleep.
Earlier, my focus remained on Winnie, her every curve, what made her
body squirm, how to make her come for me. With her resting
comfortably, I grew annoyed by the steady beat of the stereo.
Eventually, I stopped worrying about the noises next door and listened
to Winnie's soft breathing. Her hair smelled like flowers and I cuddled
closer until sleep took me too.
Hours passed and the party ended long before I heard Winnie crying
out in the dark room. Switching on the light, I tried to wake up enough
to understand what she was saying.
"I'm here," she whimpered. "I'm here."
"Winnie, it's okay," I said, wrapping her shaking body in my arms. "Do
you want me to call your parents?"
"I'm here," she said, looking at me with wide frightened eyes. "I'm
here."
"I see you," I said, panicked at how to fix the terror in her eyes. "You're
Winnie Todds and I see you."
Winnie stared at me until her breathing slowed. "I live in Ellsberg. I
have a family."
"Yes," I said, wiping her forehead. "Do you want me to get your
Cookie Monster?"
"You're Dylan. You love me." "Yes, I do."
Winnie glanced at her bag and I thought she might want the doll. She
focused back on my face and sighed.
"I had a dream I was back with the Vandals. The lady at the door said
she heard a girl in the room, but Sugar Bum said no girls were there. I
was there though. I was in the foot locker and I wanted the lady to find
me. I' m here now and you see me."
Winnie sat up and looked around. "Your walls are so white."
"We'll paint," I mumbled, stuck between asleep and awake. "Are you
okay? Do you need me to do anything?"

Shaking her head, Winnie rested back into bed. "I don't need anything.
I have you and that was just a dream. Even if it happened, it's over. I' m
not back there and you see me."
"Always," I said, pulling the covers back over us.
"I hated the foot locker. If I made a noise like a sneeze, someone would
say it must be a ghost because no one was there. I forgot I was real after
awhile, but I know now."
Hot rage rushed up from my gut. I wanted to know more. Mostly I
wanted to punish the ones who hurt her except the fuckers were dead.
My blood lust had nowhere to go.
Winnie's eyes were still open, but they didn't see me. When I took her
hand, she squeezed it.
"When I was a kid," I whispered, "my parents had parties constantly.
Dinner parties, pool parties, costume parties, it never stopped. People
were always at our house, drinking and laughing. I wasn't allowed to be
around the guests, so I would sit in the hallway upstairs and stare down
at the laughing losers. I hated them for being in my house. For being
loud when I was trying to sleep. For keeping my parents from paying
attention to me. I used to think it was the guests' fault, but I was just
stupid. My parents didn't care about me whether guests were over or
not."
Caressing Winnie's cheek, I loved how her lips curved into a smile. A
girl who hated being touched found pleasure in my embrace.
"I know my childhood crap isn't like yours," I said, as her eyes
struggled to remain open. "I just wanted you to know I understand what
it feels like to be invisible."
Winnie squeezed my hand. "I see you," she whispered as her eyes
closed and remained that way.
Chapter Twenty Seven ~ Winnie
Waking next to Dylan, I felt refreshed. The darkness from my past
wanted to claw its way back into my life except I shoved those painful
memories back where they belonged. I might never be truly free. Fear
might always taunt me around the edges. Yet I was stronger now than
I'd

ever been.
Dylan slept soundly next to me. I wanted him to wake up and talk to
me. My fingers ached to touch him, but I kept my mouth shut and hands
to myself.
On his upper arm was a tattoo of a demon. I imagined the angry young
man who wanted such an ugly symbol on his flesh. Did the demon
represent his father? When he rolled onto his stomach, I studied the
bulldog Aaron tatted on Dylan's other arm. The dog had dark sad eyes
like Dylan's after I freaked out days earlier.
An hour later, Dylan awoke and gave me a sleepy smile. He was so
relaxed after a night of lovemaking.
"Hey, beautiful, have you been up long?" he asked, kissing my cheek.
"You worry too much about morning breath. Or is it my morning
breath you' re worried about?"
Dylan responded by kissing me long and deep. Once my hands went to
his chest and scratched the flesh gently, I felt him harden against my
leg.
"Too soon?" he mumbled against my lips.
Grinning, I whispered. "I've been up for an hour."
Dylan shared my smile while reaching for the condoms. "You're so
beautiful in the morning."
I pulled back the covers and let myself look at all his naked flesh.
Noticing a scar on Dylan's inner thigh, I sat up and ran my fingers over
it. His cock twitched, excited at my hand's proximity. I gave it a soft
caress then looked back at Dylan.
"How did you get the scar?"
Tearing open the condom wrapper, Dylan held my gaze. "I was hit by a
car while riding my bike. I was ten and the bone broke through the
skin."
I returned my gaze to the scar then smiled as Dylan unrolled the
condom over his thick cock.
"I want to be on top, but I'm nervous."
"Later then," Dylan said, pressing me gently back on the bed. "Let's
worry about getting you nice and wet for me first."

Smiling, I looked down at where his fingers teased between my legs.
When he licked at my nipple, I relaxed and watched him.
Sex in the bright morning sun seemed awful. Now I was fascinated
with the way my body responded to his touch. I never saw my nipples
grow so thick and hard. My pussy was hot and damp when his fingers
entered me. I watched him taste me and I wanted to taste too.
Everything was so amazing. Magical really. My eyes took in the sight
of his muscles flexing on his arms and chest as he propped himself over
me. The way his hips moved when he thrust in and out of me. The look
on his face when I came for him. The smile on his lips when I teased
my nipples at his command. The expression in his eyes when he came
after fucking me good and hard. Yes, magical was the right word.
Showering, we took turns soaping up each other. I spent a lot of time
cleaning Dylan's chest. He did the same with me. We were so clean
afterwards that another condom was necessary.
Finally, we dressed and headed to Kirk Johansson's house outside of
town. The weather was breezy, but warmer than normal. We decided to
take Dylan's Harley. I wrapped my arms around his waist and
daydreamed about all the little moments we shared the last twenty four
hours. I couldn't imagine changing a single thing.
We arrived at the house to find Cooper and Judd were drinking coffee
outside on the deck. They wore camouflage and face paint. Feet away
from the men, Vaughn applied paint to Harlow's face. My sister
glanced at me, but her expression was unreadable.
Dylan peeled off to talk with Judd while I walked inside to see the girls.
The minute Bailey saw me, she, the Smith sisters, and Raven
shepherded me into the kitchen where Sawyer played on a PS2.
"Did you doink?" Bailey asked, covering Sawyer's ears.
"Yes. Should she be here?"
"I' m mature. Smarter than her too," Sawyer said, gesturing to her
sister. "Too smart to hear about gross stuff. I want to hear about
shooting people with paintballs."
Once Sawyer walked away and disappeared outside, everyone turned
back to me.
"Are you okay?"

"Yes. It was great. I barely freaked out at all."
"Define freak out," Raven said, crossing her arms. "Did bro try
something weird? I'm not sure I can handle details, but I'm too curious
not to ask."
"Dylan is amazing."
"Eww," Raven said, shaking her head. "I shouldn't have asked."
"I tried your sex talk, by the way, and he wasn't very impressed. The
inside me thing was good though."
"Of course, it was. You probably said the rest of it wrong. The magic of
the words is in the delivery."
Tawny rolled her eyes. "Hush, about your moves," she said then turned
back to me. "Are you okay?"
"Yes. I don't know if I'll have issues later or something, but I had just
one bad dream and Dylan helped me feel okay after it. I slept really
good afterwards. I feel great really."
"Sex with the right guy makes all the difference," Bailey said, clearly
thinking about Nick.
"So what's going to happen with the paintball game? Will they get
hurt?"
"Oh, they'll get hurt," Bailey muttered. "These are stupid men we're
talking about."
"Vaughn isn't stupid," Raven said immediately. "Harlow isn't a man," I
added. "Chill, bitches."
Farah changed seats to sit closer to me. "I'm proud of you. With
Cooper, I didn't handle things so well."
"Cooper's a douche," Bailey said, standing up and walking away.
Raven sighed. "I'll mock her into submission."
I watched as Raven started chasing Bailey around the house. They ran
upstairs and I frowned at how loud the two of them could be.
"I had a lot of therapy," I told Farah and Tawny. "My family built my
confidence all these years and Dylan was ready to help me. You didn' t
have that."
Tawny glanced at her sister. "Therapy is hard sometimes. I still think it
helps because I can't hide from the ugly stuff anymore."

Farah stared at her hands. "I'm afraid if I start talking about the ugly
stuff that it'll be all I see."
Cradling the hands she was focused on, I wanted to help Farah like she
helped me.
"You have a life with a lot of beautiful things that'll distract you. A
husband, Tawny, a baby on the way, friends, a new family, school. All
of the beautiful will help you remain in the present while remembering
the ugly things from your past."
"Maybe you can wait to talk about the ugly stuff until after the baby
comes," Tawny suggested. "Get used to talking to the therapist first. I
know you're nervous about the baby, so talk about that for a
while."
Farah glanced between her sister and me. "I want to try. I'm scared, but
I want to be strong for my daughter. I don't want to raise her to ignore
bad things like our parents did with us."
As Tawny hugged her sister, I lifted my gaze to see my sister watching
us. She looked adorable in her military garb, complete with face paint. I
couldn't help smiling at her, but she seemed uneasy.
When I walked towards her, Harlow headed outside. I followed until
we stood on a section of the deck where the others couldn't hear us.
"Dylan is a good guy," Harlow said like she needed convincing.
Fixing loose blonde hairs from her ponytail, I nodded. "Not everyone
needs to be powerful like you do. Some of us want to find a place where
we fit. We just need to feel safe and I do with Dylan. For a long time, I
fit by hiding in the safety of our house and family. Now I want to build
something bigger."
Looking younger than usual, Harlow watched me with a frown. I
continued, hoping to make her understand.
"I used to think I was lucky for anything I got. When the Devils came
here, I figured ending up dead made sense. I was never going to do
anything with my life anyway. I didn't die though. Because of you, I got
another chance. So I started wondering what to do with it. Dylan is
what I want."
Harlow's frown darkened. "I don't want what you have."
"I know. Mom and Dad do too. Everyone is okay with that except

you."
"I need to do something else. I just don't know what."
"I' m a small town girl," I said, taking her hand. "I dream of a future of
visiting Mom and Dad for family dinners. Bowling nights and
barbecues with the crew. Mani/pedis with the girls. I am even thinking
that I could have kids one day. With Dylan, I dream of things I couldn't
imagine before."
"Are you really okay?"
Glancing around, I leaned forward. "The sex was really good. As long
as I remembered I was with Dylan, I loved being touched. That's why I
know he's special. I really believe I can have a bigger life than I
dreamed."
"I don't want any guy touching me ever," Harlow said, sounding like a
stubborn kid.
"Dylan and me having sex doesn't mean you need a boyfriend. You're
you and I'm me. We're sisters and best friends, but we're not the same
person."
Harlow rolled her eyes. "You're talking down to me."
"Well, you're being a baby."
Smiling now, Harlow hugged me. "I was worried about you all night. I
didn't think you were ready." "I know."
"But Dylan helps you be strong."
I nodded. "Some people can stand alone like you. Others need people to
help them like me."
Harlow stared at me and I waited for her to say the words. "I'm on the
outside. Everyone is with someone. I don't want that, so I'm the single
girl they all endure."
"You think too much, but still get things wrong." Harlow rolled her
eyes, but remained bothered. "You're not even twenty. No one expects
you to be with anyone. Mom and Dad were in their thirties when they
found each other. Everyone is different. Once you find the right person,
you'll know it. Until then, there's no forcing it."
"I'm restless," she said, sighing. "I'm looking for something and can't
find it, so I worry over stupid stuff."

"Are you sure you want to go paintballing? You could get hurt."
"I want to kick someone's ass and this is as close as I can get. Besides,
it'll be fun shooting Dylan." When I gave her a grumpy frown, Harlow
laughed. "Don't worry. I'll shoot him somewhere that won't affect your
sexy life."
"I'll tell you what. I'll understand your badass habits, if you promise to
be understanding of my relationships habits."
"Deal," Harlow said, wrapping an arm around my shoulders as we
joined the others.
The sound of chaos alerted everyone to Raven and Bailey's return. At
some point, Raven became the prey with Bailey chasing her with a
water pistol. Vaughn and Nick watched their women run out of the
house and down the deck stairs before disappearing into the woods
with an army of dogs close behind.
"I'm surprised Raven isn't joining us," Cooper said.
"We're in baby making mode, so I don't want her taking any chances,"
Vaughn explained while messing with his paint gun.
Everyone looked into the woods where the girls screamed and dogs
barked.
"Yeah, she's totally taking it easy," Judd muttered.
Vaughn glanced at his friend. "Shut up, The Ripper."
As the men laughed, I remembered what Dylan told me about Judd' s
threat to Larry. Smiling, I noticed my love breaking away from the
crowd and approaching me.
Dylan looked so damn sexy in camouflage pants and a beige shirt.
Shivering at the sight of him, I lifted my lips for a kiss. Dylan kissed me
softly then wiped off the face paint left behind on my chin.
"This is turning out to be a hell of a weekend," he said, giving me a
wink. "Hanging out with my girl and shooting good friends with
paintballs. A dream come true."
"Watch out for Harlow," I whispered. "She's gunning for you."
Glancing back at my sister, Dylan smiled. "Let her come. I'm feeling
like fucking Superman today."
Laughing, I hugged him and hoped he wasn't too tired later. Mostly, I
hoped no one got seriously hurt especially since I overheard

several bets floating around to shoot other people in the ass. Judd
apparently planned to shoot everyone, even those on his team. He
intended to be the last man standing and get paid an extra dollar by
Tawny.
Chapter Twenty Eight ~ Dylan
Growing up, I'd never been into guns. The kids I lived around were
more interested in sports. Playing cops and robbers wasn't on my radar.
I felt like a giddy kid as I followed the club guys and Harlow into the
dense woods.
Cooper was all smiles, but I sensed he was thinking long term. The
guys from Memphis weren't coming for fun. They were visiting to test
the club. The burden was on Cooper to make himself the man they
trusted with the territory Kirk ruled for decades.
Cooper and I were the same age, yet I couldn't imagine living his life.
Married with a kid on the way, living in suburbia, still in school, and
running the family business. Now dangerous men wanted him to prove
he was badass enough to run in their circles.
My dream was simple. I wanted a business successful enough to
support the family I planned to build with Winnie. She was my girl, just
like I hoped. Never would I ever feel about another woman the way I
felt about Winnie. She made my heart race with simply a look. Her pain
was mine. Her joy made me feel like a king. The sex was better than
anything I' d ever enjoyed. Winnie was learning to enjoy it too. Every
kiss was a promise of forever.
Even with simple dreams, I wanted to belong. Though the guys made
bets and were all smiles, I knew they were testing me. I planned to pass
too.
I had to focus on working as a team. No more grudges against others or
chips on my shoulder about my cold mommy and daddy.
Cooper put me on his team along with Judd and a few guys I didn't
know. Soon, I viewed them as brothers. They had my back and I
watched theirs. I'd never felt anything like the camaraderie we shared
out on the increasing cold and wet day.

Tucker Johansson was notoriously stupid, but he wasn't goofing around
that day. He and Vaughn were desperate to win, mostly to say they beat
Cooper and Judd. The paintball game stopped being fun quickly and
became about survival.
I didn' t picture the other team as my friends. I imagined them as
outsiders. The men from Memphis coming out in the spring for the sole
purpose of showing up Cooper. When I got cold or sore waiting for a
shot, I told myself those men felt none of the pains I did. They would be
ruthless, so I became ruthless.
The other club guys didn't last as long as I did, but I had Judd to thank
for my survival. The enforcer moved so silently as if floating over the
dried leaves and twigs. He remained behind me, out of sight. I only
knew he was around when a guy from the other team made a move.
Judd always took his shot before the other guy pulled the trigger.
Judd was using me as bait. Rather than be annoyed or offended, I
played the role willingly.
Careful not to be too careful, I made just enough noise to draw others to
me. Even Tucker fell for the ruse. So focused on me in front of him, he
didn't notice his brother slip up from behind. For big guys, everyone
moved quietly through the woods.
As the other guys returned to the house, they radioed their statuses until
there were only a few of us left. I knew Judd and Cooper were focused
on the same elusive target. Somewhere in the dense woods, Vaughn
waited.
For over a half hour, we moved slowly with me as bait for Vaughn.
Without warning, a shot from a thick bush took out Cooper. Our leader
cussed so loudly I suspected people at the house heard him.
Still hidden, Vaughn laughed in response. I moved closer, hoping he
gave away his location, so Judd could find him.
Cooper stomped away, scaring birds into the air and awakening the
quiet woods. I sensed movement everywhere. Yet I only noticed
Vaughn when the paintball struck me in the gut. Even though the shot
hurt like a motherfucker, Vaughn had exposed himself. The ghost-like
Judd appeared behind his friend.
"Asshole," Vaughn said as Judd pulled the trigger.

"Did you really think you'd beat me?"
Vaughn grinned. "Sloppy, drama llama," he said, pointing behind
Judd.
Crouched down in the bushes, Harlow stood and shot Judd in the
ass.
"I'll be damned," Judd muttered, grimacing from the shot. "I forgot she
was out here."
"Figured as much," Vaughn said while high-fiving Harlow who
grinned at me.
"I guess you didn't come along as eye candy," I said and she lost her
smile.
"Now someone needs to shoot me, so I know how it feels," she
announced, putting her arms up. "A gut shot should work." Vaughn
shook his head and started walking. "Nope." "I don't shoot women,"
Judd said. "Liar," she hissed and Judd shrugged.
As the two guys walked away, I focused on Harlow who lifted her
eyebrow.
"I did slug you that day."
"Yes, you did," I said, lifting my gun and shooting her in the leg. "I said
the gut," she grunted, limping after me. "Gut shots hurt." "Don't protect
me."
"I'm not, whiner. My concern is your sister. I don't want you telling
Winnie I shot you in the stomach. The leg doesn't sound as bad."
"Oh," she muttered catching up with me as we followed Vaughn and
Judd through the woods.
"You kicked ass," I said, rubbing my tender stomach. "Maybe you
should join the club."
"They don't have chick members. Even if they did, would I really want
to be surrounded by guys thinking I was less than them?"
"No, I guess not."
"Are you going to join?"
"Not up to me."
"If it was, would you?"

I shrugged. "I don't know why the club would want me."
"You're tough and loyal. Not every guy in the club does work like those
two dumbasses."
Focusing on the men in front of me, I saw them shoving each other
while walking steadily through an open patch of woods. I was ready to
turn to Harlow when Vaughn and Judd started shooting each other.
After cussing a little, they returned to walking.
"Enforcers are stupid," she whispered. "Being idiots is part of the
job.
"I think it's just them together. When I see one without the other, the IQ
level is much higher."
Harlow smiled, but I caught her rubbing her leg.
"The gut shot really hurt," I whined to make her feel better. "I nearly
puked."
"Wuss," she laughed. "Does Winnie know you're a crybaby
bitch?"
I laughed. "She loves me the way I am. Crybaby bitch and all."
Harlow nodded. "She'll probably be happy you didn't get shot in the
crotch. You've turned her into a sex-crazed slutbag."
"You sound jealous," I said, bumping her. "Ahh, don't worry. One day,
a guy will fuck you slutty too."
"Nope."
"Into girls?"
"Nope. I'm staying solo."
"Good. That way you'll be available to babysit for me and Winnie."
Rolling her eyes, Harlow smiled. "You really think you and Winnie are
leading to a baby carriage?"
"If Winnie wants free of me, she'll have to pry me off her," I said then
added, "A restraining order might be necessary too."
"Might? Wuss. A real man knows he'll stalk his woman if she runs for
freedom."
"How would you know?"
"I' m very knowledgeable from watching a lot of Friends reruns." "I
don't remember a lot of stalking on Friends."

"You must have missed that episode," she said, nudging me with the
gun. "Don't make me shoot you to distract from this awkward
conversation."
"What awkward conversation?" I teased as we reached the opening to
the field behind the Johanssons' house. "Sorry I punched you that day."
"It's okay. Winnie deserves to have people who'll kick ass for her."
Harlow smiled and I saw the sweet kid underneath her grumpy exterior.
Her smile grew when she noticed Winnie up on the deck with her
parents and brother.
"We're a good family, Dylan. I hear you need one. I mean, Lark's great,
but Raven is a pain in the ass."
"I' m right here!" Raven yelled.
"I know, but I'm packing paint heat."
Raven rolled her eyes while climbing Vaughn. "Did you win, baby?"
she asked him. "Is that why you're covered in paint?" "Yeah, I won. No
one beats, Big V."
Vaughn and Raven looked ready to make a baby in front of everyone.
Harlow shook her head and walked faster. I watched her disappear into
a group of people as she headed towards her family.
"Wait up," Cooper said before I could follow Harlow.
"Sorry you got shot in the ass," I said and Cooper glared at Vaughn.
"I hope he's that clever in the spring."
Up on the deck, Winnie waited for me. As much as I wanted to join her,
I knew Cooper wasn't done chatting yet.
"Last year, we had a mole in our club. Selling us out to our enemies. He
was a tough guy. He worked with my pop for years and had the balls to
stand up for people. He had no loyalty and that's what did him in."
I said nothing because Cooper wasn't having a conversation. He was
telling me what was what.
"You have balls, Dylan. You watch out for those people that matter to
you. Balls are great, but your loyalty means more. You don't talk shit
about the crew. You don't share secrets. I asked around. Your guys on

the worksite. Your neighbors. People you might blab to, but you
haven't said shit. You keep your mouth shut because you understand
loyalty isn't only about throwing or taking a punch."
Sensing he was getting to his point, I just nodded.
"You think about if you want to be more than part of the crew. I have a
circle of people I trust. Not my pop's guys, but my guys. I want you to
be part of that circle. You think about if that interests you."
Cooper walked away and didn't look back. He joined Farah and Jodi
then headed up to the deck where Kirk and Nick grilled steaks and
burgers.
Around me, the club and their families enjoyed the rainy day. I walked
slowly up to where my family waited. Winnie hugged me then made a
big deal out of my stomach injury as an excuse to pull up my shirt.
Harlow rolled her eyes while Jace looked like he wanted to puke at the
affection. Toni laughed at her kids' behavior. Tad kept an eye on me
and I sensed he knew what Cooper wanted with me. I also got the
impression he approved.
Chapter Twenty Nine ~ Winnie
The pain from my past hid away for weeks at a time. I wouldn't think
about the Vandals or my old family. I'd forget I ever lived a life any
different than the happy one I now enjoyed.
Out of nowhere, the pain rose up inside me. A sense of dread hung over
my every thought even if I was having a good day.
I was thrilled Dylan lasted so long in the game. He also worked so well
with Judd and Cooper. The club needed loyal guys and I wanted Dylan
to find a place where he belonged.
After the game, the club and their families enjoyed a barbecue even in
the wet weather. I stood with my parents and a smiling Harlow on one
side, my brother and Dylan on the other. I felt happy until suddenly I
just didn' t anymore.
The deck was full of people, mostly large men. Everywhere I turned, I
faced hard, rough men like those in the Vandals. I knew these guys
weren't the enemy, but logic couldn't control the tension I felt.

By the time Dylan brought me to his place, I wanted a shower and to be
left alone. First, I washed away the cold wet weather from my skin.
Finally, I scrubbed away the feeling of being used.
After I was done, Dylan jumped in the shower. I sat on the couch in a
robe. Despite hating being naked underneath, I also knew clothes
irritated my tender skin.
"Want a drink?" Dylan asked, appearing in boxers and a tee.
I shook my head, so he only brought himself a soda to the couch.
Staring at the TV, I didn't care what was on. I wanted to go home and
hide in my room. Except I also wanted to stay with Dylan who leaned
over and kissed my neck.
"I' m not in the mood," I mumbled.
"Are you sure?" he asked, grazing my nipple with his thumb. "Yes."
Dylan leaned over and slid his hand into my robe. "I don't believe
you."
Resting my head against the back of the couch, I struggled between
depression and desire.
"All those guys today reminded me of something bad," I confessed. "I
know the Reapers are the ones who saved me and gave me a second
chance. I still can't shake the feeling that I'm in danger."
Dylan sighed, his hot breath against the bare skin on my chest.
"They're not here. It's just you and me," he whispered, opening my
robe. "No one is going to hurt you. I won't let them."
Studying his face, I wasn't sure he had the killer instinct necessary to
truly hurt someone willing to hurt us. Yet when Dylan met my gaze, I
saw in his dark eyes that he could kill to keep what was his.
"You play businessman," I whispered as he kissed my stomach. "You
play the nice guy, but you have a fire inside you."
Dylan spread my legs and knelt between them. "I've always been
pissed. I never knew what to do with the anger. I still don't, I guess.
You quiet it though. You made it sleep even when I was sitting in my
car outside your house. Knowing you exist soothes the anger, but it's
never really gone."
Dylan spread the lips of my pussy and blew softly on the growing

heat. Shivering, I whimpered at the feel of his breath.
"Your pussy looks a little swollen. Did I fuck you too hard this
morning?" he murmured, sliding his fingers over my tender skin.
"Should I kiss your pussy and make it better?"
Staring into his eyes, I nodded. "I love you."
"Let me show you how much I love you."
Dylan sucked softly at the sensitive flesh followed by a lick. Slowly,
again and again, his mouth explored until I was a whimpering mess.
"Does that feel good?" he asked as his finger caressed my clit until I
was on the edge of an orgasm.
His lips on my clit pushed me over the edge and I felt lost in a way
nearly too powerful to endure. Vulnerable and exposed, I held onto one
of Dylan's hands as the waves of pleasure tore through me.
"You taste so sweet," he said, kissing me.
"Dylan," was the only word I knew in that moment.
"Tell me you want me."
"I want you."
"Tell me you want me inside you," Dylan murmured, standing up and
kicking off his boxers followed by his tee. "Tell me you need me to
fuck you. Can you say that, Winnie?"
Taking in all the flesh before me, I wondered if I was drooling. I'd
never felt so relaxed. I watched him remove a condom from the drawer.
"We're almost out of them," he said, handing it to me. "I want you to
open it. Show me you want me to fuck you. Make me believe."
Sliding my arms out of the robe, I reached for the condom. "I want you
inside me. I need to see only you."
"Say the words."
Caressing his rock hard cock, I held his gaze. "Fuck me, Dylan."
"How do I know you're not just saying that to make me happy?"
I frowned. "Don't tease me," I said, handing him the condom. "I need
you inside me."
Dylan studied me as if waiting for something. I licked my fingers and
rubbed them gently against my hard nipples. Closing my eyes, I
imagined Dylan was licking them. By the time I felt Dylan kneeling

between my legs, I was smiling at the fantasy in my head.
"Okay, now I feel neglected," he said, stroking me with his cock.
I opened my eyes and grinned. "Hi," I murmured. "Will you please fuck
me now? No more teasing."
"I've always been a sucker for a girl who says please."
Caressing the scar on his chest, I sighed as he entered me. I held onto
his forearms while he fucked me hard and steady. When I came for
him, I realized the reality was so much better than my fantasies.
Chapter Thirty ~ Dylan
Winnie was awake when I turned over the next morning. She stared at
me without showing any reaction. When I kissed her, she didn't kiss me
back. She wouldn't respond to my questions. Winnie was awake, but
not really aware.
My first instinct was to freak out and call someone. Who the hell was I
to handle a girl with these problems?
My second instinct was to remember what Tad said. Winnie was the
broken girl I intended to spend the rest of my life with. If I wanted to
call her mine, I needed to man up. I didn't freak out or call anyone. I
simply got up and made a pot of coffee.
After my shower, I picked up the still awake and quiet Winnie. She
whimpered when I lifted her, but didn't struggle. I carried her into
living room and rested her on the couch. She looked up at me and I saw
no panic in her eyes. Just the blank stare she gave me the first night we
made out and I pushed her too far.
Winnie didn' t like sleeping naked, so she wore one of my tees. I
covered her up with a blanket, turned on the TV to HGTV, and left her
to deal with whatever she was going through.
Nearby, I drank my coffee while working on payroll and paying bills
on my laptop. I really needed an assistant I could trust. The last two
were college girls who flaked when boyfriend problems distracted
them. My dream was for Winnie to take over. She was smart and
organized. However, she wanted to stay with Lark until the twins were
born.
For lunch, I made sandwiches and placed a plate on the table next

to the couch. Winnie didn't look at it. She remained silent, but seemed
to be watching TV. I caressed her head then returned to working.
Around two, I found Winnie rolled over onto her stomach and
watching me.
"Getting bored of House Hunters?" I asked.
Winnie smiled. "We're out of condoms. Let's hope my birth control
sticks."
"I can get more," I said, shutting down the laptop. "I don't want you to
leave."
"Who'd have thought we'd need more than a giant box for the first
weekend?"
Winnie smiled up at me then slid over so I could join her on the couch.
"Are you feeling better?" I asked, as she straddled me.
"Yes," she said, kissing my neck. "I'm not wearing panties."
"No, you aren't," I murmured as my fingers caressed between her legs.
"Are you sure you're ready?"
Winnie responded by rolling her hips over mine. Quickly, my boxers
were too tight.
"Are you going to ask why I was weird this morning?"
"No," I said, slipping my tee over her head and taking in the sight of her
already hard nipples. "If you want me to know, you'll tell me without
asking. If you don't want to share, why should I pressure you?"
Winnie's expression was one I'd never seen. She grabbed my face and
kissed me deeply. Never seeing her so desperate, I wrapped her in my
arms and kissed her back. Winnie sucked hard at my tongue, rolling her
hips. She only slowed when I filled her and helped her find a good
rhythm.
"You understand me," she whispered, lifting and dropping her hips
faster. "I don't know how you can love me, but I never want you to
stop."
"I love you because you're perfection," I groaned as she brought us both
closer to the edge. "You are mine and no one can take you away." "No
one," she cried, coming hard.
The power of her orgasm brought me with her. Her pussy sucked

hungry at my cock and I couldn't think straight. There was only
pleasure and perfection.
Chapter Thirty One ~ Winnie
Dylan finished setting up the cribs in the nursery then I added the
bedding. Once the room was completed, we opened the door for Lark
and Aaron. Her eyes lit up then grew damp. I noticed a moment of fear
in Aaron's eyes. For the first time, he likely imagined the room full of
crying babies. I didn't blame him for wanting to run. Lark couldn't run
from the reality, so he stayed put.
"It's beautiful," Lark whispered, shuffling around the room.
Dylan grinned at me. "I built the cribs, to ensure they were solid and
safe."
"Well done, man," Aaron said, shaking his hand. Lark exhaled
uneasily. "Won't be much longer." Sensing her fear, I hugged Lark. She
leaned into the embrace and I realized she was shaking. "You should sit
down."
Lark nodded then smiled at Dylan. "This is perfect." "It's the least I
could do as their uncle." Lark's grin widened. "It's so real."
Again she sounded scared. Aaron took her hand and led her to the
couch.
"I' m so sick of sitting on this fucking thing," she sighed, finding a
comfortable spot. "After they're born, let's burn the couch."
"Or donate it," Aaron said, bringing her a glass of water.
"Don't ruin my destructive groove with your good sense."
Aaron kissed her softly as Lark clung to him. Leaving them to share
quiet time, Dylan and I climbed into his SUV.
"Those cribs are beautiful," I said to distract from our worry over
Lark.
"Thanks." Dylan leaned over to kiss me quickly then smiled. "I want to
show you the houses I'm working on."
Grinning, I loved how Dylan took something ruined and rebuilt it. I

wasn't blind to the similarities to our relationship.
Tall, narrow, and grand, the first house was a Victorian. Once loved by
a family, it ended up a college rental. Dylan took it from rundown and
abused to grand again.
"Could you see yourself living here?" he asked, wrapping his arms
around me from behind.
"No," I said softly.
"Good. Me either, but I'd have moved in tomorrow if you said
yes."
Squirming around to face him, I sighed. "You're so whipped." "I know,
but only when it comes to you."
"It's only fair since you own my heart and could destroy me if you
wanted."
"Could, but never will," he said, taking my hand. "Let's go look at the
midcentury house."
"What if I don't like that one either?"
Dylan opened the car door and shrugged. "Plenty of houses in Ellsberg
that need love. We'll find one and make it ours."
Those others houses weren't necessary. I loved the second house. The
ranch style reminded me of my parents place, but Dylan had
modernized it. With three bedrooms, it wasn't too big. The kitchen was
perfect for my fancy meatloaf dinners.
"I don't want to be away from you," he said as we stood in front of the
picture window and looked out at the approaching evening. "I need you
to be with me every night and smiling at me every morning."
"What if you live with me and realize I suck?"
Dylan rolled his eyes. "This house won't be finished until after the New
Year. Until then, I'd like you to stay at my apartment. If it's okay with
your parents, we can stay at their house some nights too. Get you used
to be away from them slowly, so you'll be ready when the house is
done."
"We can't have sex at my parents' place," I said, giving him a grin.
"You are so sex obsessed," he said, sighing dramatically. "I blame
myself for being that good."
"Do you really want to do this? You don't have to rush."

"What's the point of waiting, Winnie? People wait when they're unsure.
I'm not. I know what I want. Do you want to wait?"
I shook my head then looked around the room. "I can imagine us here. I
can see my family visiting and the crew. This is a house meant to be
filled with happiness. Maybe we can even get a dog one day."
"I wonder what kind?" he teased, wrapping me in his arms.
My fingers teased his jacket where I knew the bulldog hid underneath.
The sad pup needed a real home filled with warmth and stability, just
like Dylan. Looking around, we'd found that home.
Chapter Thirty Two ~ Dylan
Early in the afternoon on an otherwise normal day, Cooper called and
told me to meet him at Whiskey Kirk's. I left Nick in charge at the
worksite then drove my Harley out the bar where Cooper and Tucker
sat on their bikes.
Cooper roared forward then stopped next to me.
"I know you'll fight for the club because you stood up for Nick. I know
you'll die for the club because you took a bullet for Winnie and Harlow.
You have balls, but so does Nick and he'll never be part of the club.
What he lacks is ice in the veins. If you want to be a Reaper, you need
to look at evil without blinking. You think you can handle that,
Dylan?"
"Yeah, man, what' s going on?"
Cooper looked back at his brother who was ready to ride.
"Most of the guys who came up with my pop are ready to sit on their
asses and play with the grandkids. They're not soft, but they don't want
to get dirty anymore. I need younger guys I can trust. Guys willing to
bleed and draw blood for me."
Rubbing my scar through my black sweater, I remembered the way I
felt when the Devils showed up at the work site. Before they even went
for the girls, I wanted them dead. I understood they'd come to my town
to cause trouble. They were the enemy and I hated them. The rage
scared me, but it also felt good.
The Devils were dead and I'd never get payback for what they did.

Yet Cooper offered me the purpose I'd been missing.
"I'm in. The Reapers saved Winnie and I'm willing to do whatever
necessary to protect the club."
Cooper gave me a nod. "We have business outside of town. Follow us
then prove you're ready."
Following Cooper and Tucker past the Ellsberg city limits, I wasn't
sure what awaited me. I didn't really care either. Some things felt right
while others never did. Obeying Larry's rules and chasing after Lark
always felt wrong. I did it for a long time anyway. Once I flipped off
the old man and took Lark's advice, I followed my gut.
My instinct told me Winnie was the one. No matter her past or
problems or what her parents thought, she was mine. My instinct also
told me joining Cooper was a necessary path.
We turned from a paved road to a dirt one leading into the woods. After
another ten minutes of slow driving over rough ground, we reached a
small cabin. Cooper parked next to me while Tucker roared around the
place as if looking for someone. I noticed two Harleys parked nearby
along with a small truck.
Tucker finally parked next to me. We joined Cooper who stared at a
hawk flying over the woods.
"I've had my eye on you since the Devils came to town," Cooper said,
glancing at me. "Ignore the romantic vibe to that statement."
Tucker snorted in amusement, but Cooper ignored him and continued,
"The rest of the guys at the worksite hid when the Devils showed up.
You decided to take on armed bikers with a fucking hammer. How you
didn't end up in the ground I'll never know, but it made me think you
have the kind of balls a man needs to run with guys like these
two."
Cooper opened the door where Vaughn and Judd stood in a one room
cabin. Nearby, a guy was tied to a chair. He looked up when we
entered, but I sensed he was stoned.
"Dude," he said when Cooper approached.
"Yeah, dude," Cooper muttered then glanced at me. "I'd like you to
meet Corbin. He' s a dealer from Acton Ridge. A low level guy who
mostly sells pot and ecstasy to high school kids for their weekend

parties. Mellow shit like what he takes." "Yeah," Corbin giggled.
Cooper rolled his eyes. "So Corbin was driving home from picking up
something for his munchies and the highway patrol pulled him over for
speeding. Now here's where the drugs rot your brain shit comes in. This
cop was looking to give him a ticket. He wasn't suspicious of Corbin's
stoned manner. Wasn't looking to check his car. He only wanted to
write up a ticket to hit his quota. What does Cheech here do? Shoots a
cop."
Studying the stoner, I didn't think he looked like a killer.
"So Corbin calls us for help. Says he wants to run to Mexico to hide
from the law. Yep, Mexico," Cooper said, rolling his eyes. "So clearly
he doesn't know much about current events. Most importantly, Corbin
says if the cops catch him, he'll make a deal and turn on the
club."
Tucker grunted while nearby Judd looked sleepy and Vaughn bored.
"Let me tell you something about the club, Dylan. We watch out for our
own. If you're one of us then your enemies are our enemies. If someone
fucks with you then they fuck with us. The law is the same way. Corbin
killed one of them, so they won't make a fucking deal with a cop killer.
Doesn't matter really. They won't catch Corbin and he's not going to
Mexico. We' re doing him a favor really."
Stoned beyond comprehension, Corbin giggled again.
"You want in the club, this is your test," Cooper said, handing me a
gun. "This is the same gun he used on the cop. We need him to
disappear. There's no other option. The media is making a huge deal
out of the shooting. Apparently, Corbin killed Captain America who
was married to Barbie and they had a house full of Gerber babies. If the
cops ever get hold of Corbin, I doubt he'll live to the trial."
"So I kill him?" I said, looking at the gun. "And take care of your
problem?"
"Or we're setting you up to take the fall," Judd muttered. "You are
leaving your fingerprints on the gun that killed a cop."
Studying the gun, I looked at Judd and smirked. "Asshole."

Judd and Vaughn smiled while Cooper glanced at Tucker who was
getting antsy.
"There are two kinds of killings. Personal and business. Killing is easy
when it's personal. The business stuff like with Corbin is trickier.
Messing with my family makes me homicidal. Messing with my
business makes me cranky. Guys like those two evil fucks," he said
gesturing at Judd and Vaughn who winked, "can kill without feeling
shit. You aren't them. You're like me. So I suggest you kill as if he's the
guy who messed with your woman. Always works for me."
I looked at Corbin giggling at an unknown joke. He was no one to me.
His death wouldn't be a loss to the world, but I still paused. The gun
didn' t feel heavy in my hand like I would have imagined. I felt no fear
or even nervous with everyone watching me. Some people could coldly
take a life and others couldn't. I'd always wondered which kind of
person I was. Just to be safe, I imagined the shaggy stoner was the evil
fuck Sugar Bum.
Corbin's last word was dude.
After I pulled the trigger, nothing really changed. Corbin stopped
breathing, but that was it. I expected the sky to darken and an
overwhelming sense of foreboding. Had I just sold my soul to the
devil?
While Vaughn, Judd, and Tucker dragged Corbin's body wrapped in a
tarp, I walked with Cooper.
"I did my first kill when I was seventeen," Cooper said, looking up at
the still circling hawk. "A perverted little flasher freak who sold meth
for us. He was a funny piece of shit and I'd known him for years. Part of
me felt bad for killing him. When I thought about him being a pervert,
killing him wasn't so bad. Of course, we were killing him because he
was stealing from the club. That's not the point. You think about
whatever you need to think about to make the shit happen."
"So what happens now?"
"They'll dump him in a shallow grave. The crap Tucker's carrying is
lye. It'll clean up a lot of the evidence. The guys will do a clean on the
cabin. Vaughn and Judd do this shit a lot. That's their job in the club.
For you, I only expect loyalty. I'm not interested in your business. If I
have a problem, it's your problem. Club goes both ways. Get it?"

"Yeah. I get it."
After watching Vaughn and Judd dump the body and cover it with lye,
I followed Cooper back to the cabin.
"How are things going with Winnie?" he asked as we waited for the
others to finish.
"Good. We're moving into one of the houses I've remodeled. I'm
planning to propose too."
"Did you ask Tad for permission?"
Frowning, I shook my head.
"Give the guy a break. You show up, bang his daughter, steal her away,
and don't even fake like his opinion matters. You're lucky he doesn't
beat you with a stick just for the hell of it."
My frown darkened then I remembered Cooper was having a baby girl
soon.
"I'll ask Tad before I propose."
Cooper smiled. "You feel weird yet? Pulling the trigger is easy, but the
stuff afterwards will bother you."
"I'll be honest, Cooper. If you wanted me to kill a kid or a woman, I
wouldn't be able to do it. I'm not hardcore and you shouldn't think what
I did proved I was. Corbin was a dead man walking. Someone was
killing him. It just happened to be me."
Studying me, Cooper smiled. "I don't want blood thirsty freaks, you
know? A lot of clubs have violent muscle. That might sound great, but
try controlling the fuckers. I prefer obedient dogs to the rabid ones."
"Thanks for comparing me to a dog."
"You're welcome," he said, smirking.
After the guys cleaned up including Corbin's truck, I followed them out
of the woods and returned to Whiskey Kirk's. We sat at Cooper's booth
and drank whiskey shots until Tucker puked.
Later, Kirk, Tad, and the older guys arrived to shake my hand and
throw back a shot of whiskey with me. Tucker puked twice more before
I finally stumbled into Tad's SUV.
He drove me to his house where I crawled into Winnie's bed. She
frowned at how I reeked of alcohol. I burped a hello and her frown was
replaced by a grin. After helping me out of my boots and jeans, Winnie

cuddled up next to me, kissed me gently, and ordered me not to puke on
her.
Chapter Thirty Three ~ Winnie
Days after he made his bones with the Reapers, I woke up to find Dylan
watching me sleep. Propped up on one arm, he smiled at me. My
fingers traced his lips. I imagined all the places they touched me the
night before. Based on his sly grin, Dylan sensed where my mind had
gone.
"Good morning, Winona Todds." "Good morning, beautiful Dylan."
He leaned forward and kissed me gently. "We better get cleaned up for
lunch at the folks' place."
"A quickie?" I asked, teasing his nipple. "Please?"
Dylan grinned then rolled out of bed. "Nope. We promised we'd get
there early. Besides, you and me don't do quickies."
"We could try," I offered as Dylan tugged me out of bed and into his
arms.
"Fine, but in the shower. We need to multitask this morning."
"Why are you so gung-ho about going to see my parents?"
"Family meals weren't something I enjoyed often," he murmured
against my neck. After slipping off my shirt, he picked me up and
carried me into the bathroom. "I like knowing people are waiting for
me. My presence isn't an afterthought."
Smiling, I kissed his stubbled cheek. "You deserve to be appreciated."
Dylan checked the water then carried me under it. "You're too damn
tempting. At this rate, we'll never get to your parents' house."
Laughing, I loved how he didn't refer to it as my house. I lived with
him, even if most of my stuff remained in my old room. The reality of
our new life together still shocked me.
After a very enjoyable half hour in the shower, we dressed and walked
down to his SUV. Even with the weather too cold for the Harley, I
spotted Judd and Tawny riding theirs in the opposite direction as us. I

loved how Tawny had her own Harley and tried to imagine myself on
one. The vision ended with me crashing into a mailbox, so I figured I'd
leave the Harley riding to Tawny and Harlow.
My sister came out to the porch to meet us. I knew she missed having
me around the house. We spent most of our time together and often
shared a bed at night. I wondered what she did when the nightmares
bothered her now.
"I' m sorry," I said, feeling guilty as I hugged her.
"You should be," she teased, clearly having no idea what I was talking
about. "We're all ashamed of you."
Rolling my eyes, I took Dylan's hand and followed Harlow inside. Jace
sat in the front of the TV. I knew he was grumpy based on the way he
didn't look at me. When I flopped next to him on the couch, he did
smile.
"You smell like a strip club," he said, narrowing his eyes at me.
"How would you know?"
"I'm not telling you my secrets."
Shaking my head, I sighed loudly. "Why do you make me do this to
you? It' s like you want to suffer."
Jace knew what was coming, but his escape came too late. I pinned him
on the couch and tickled him. Despite his efforts to seem unfazed, he
couldn' t withstand armpit tickling.
While I tormented my laughing brother, Dad and Mom walked out
from the kitchen.
"He missed you," Mom said as I finally let Jace up.
Catching his breath, my brother leaned next to me on the couch.
"I miss beating you at videogames."
"I miss you beating me too," I said, kissing his head.
Harlow flopped on the couch next to us and I smiled at the familiar
comfort of my family. Dylan watched us with a slight grin. When he
caught Tad and Toni's gazes, his smile grew.
Suspicious now, I glanced at Harlow who was busy gluing herself to
me.
"Are they up to something?" I whispered. "Am I going to be
embarrassed?"

"I don't know. If you feel embarrassed, I'll punch Dylan in the crotch
and distract everyone."
Rolling my eyes at her threat, I studied Dylan who grinned at me.
"What?" I asked, nervous now.
"She's on to you," Dad said. "Better ask now before she gets squirrely."
"Squirrely," Jace snorted. "She gets batty too."
Harlow laughed. "Winnie can do so many animal impressions."
Ignoring them, I stood up and walked to a still smiling Dylan.
"What?"
"What happened to patience?"
Without thinking, I reached to pinch my hand. Dylan took both hands
then knelt on one knee.
"Don't," Harlow blurted, grabbing for me.
Everyone frowned at her. A moment passed where she stared at me in
horror. Suddenly, she shrugged.
"I meant don't stop. Go ahead, Dylan."
The mood in the room shifted back to anticipation. Our gaze focused on
Dylan who smiled up at me.
"I know it's been a few weeks. I don't care. I love you and you love me,
right?"
"I love you so much."
"I'm not stupid. I know we'll have problems. We run into issues. When
we do, we'll work them out. We'll figure them out because we belong
together. You believe that, don't you?"
"Yes," I whispered, staring into his beautiful dark eyes.
"Winona Todds, you are perfection and I refuse to live without you.
Will you marry me?"
My legs turning to jelly, I knelt down too.
"Yes," I whispered, afraid he was about to change his mind. Maybe it
was a trick. All these awful things rushed through my mind. I wasn't
good enough for Dylan. He was going to leave me one day. I didn't
deserve to be happy when I was so weak.
"You love me," he whispered, pressing his forehead against mine.
"You want me to be happy."

"Yes," I said, tears rolling down my cheeks. "You're what I need to
survive." "I'm not really strong yet."
"I love you now. I don't want to wait. Do you want to wait for
me?"
Shaking my head, I looked at my smiling parents then back at Dylan.
"We're in love and planning to live together. We need to make our
relationship official, so your daddy won't kick my ass." Even laughing,
I asked, "You want this?"
"I can give up everything else in my life, but never you. Married or not,
you belong with me."
I exhaled uneasily then smiled. "Yes, I will marry you."
Dylan pulled me into an embrace while Mom and Dad clapped. I heard
Harlow and Jace clapping too, but they were less enthusiastic. Like me,
my siblings were wary of change.
Even wanting to glue myself to Dylan and never leave his side, I joined
Harlow on the back porch. We sat on the bench and I watched a squirrel
race across the yard and disappear in a tree. Next to me, Harlow
shivered under a blanket and stared at nothing.
"Why did you say don't?" I asked finally.
"I think it's too soon."
"We're living together. Marriage makes sense." "I know, but it's too
soon."
Fighting tears, I needed Harlow to be happy for me. "I love him. He
makes me feel better than I have before and I crave that feeling." "We
didn't make you happy?"
Her jaw clenching, Harlow refused to look at me even as I rested my
head on her shoulder.
"I didn't grow up with a sister like you did. When you came to live here,
I was jealous for a day or two. I worried you'd get all the attention and
be a better daughter. You were so beautiful too and I imagined people
would ignore me when they could be close to you instead."
"Idiot," Harlow said, smirking. "You took care of me."
"I wanted you to like me. Beckett ignored me because I was

twitchy around him. I wanted you to be my friend, so I sucked up to
you."
Harlow laughed. "That's not how it happened."
"Yes, it was. I was so desperate for you to like me. I nearly peed myself
when you looked at other girls and I thought you might like them
more."
Turning to me, Harlow wrapped the blanket around us both. "You're a
good sister."
"It's why you don't want me to leave."
Harlow's smile faded. "What happens when I have bad dreams? You
have Dylan to cuddle with, but I' m alone." "There's always Jace."
Harlow rolled her eyes. "Can you imagine me crawling into his bed at
night? He'd think he was under attack and punch me."
"Yeah, he's pretty grumpy about people in his bed."
Harlow exhaled hard. "It's bullshit. I got you and Dylan together, but
I'm the one suffering because you're together. What the fuck?"
"You're selfless. A martyr really."
Harlow's smile returned. "I'm scared about what I'll do without you
nearby."
"I' m scared too. I love Dylan, but my family kept me sane all these
years. I miss you even though I see you every day." "I don't blame you.
I am pretty addictive." "Crazy addictive."
Sharing a smile, we returned to an uneasy silence. Life with Dylan was
a dream, but the reality of it still scared me.
"I' m not buying a bike. I decided to use the fighting money to take
martial arts classes and get stronger. Dad said I can ride Beckett's
Harley until he's out of prison."
"You're such a badass," I whispered, giving her a soft smile. "We're so
different, but you'll always be my best friend."
"No man will change that."
When we stood up to join the others for lunch, I took Harlow's hand. "If
you're ever feeling bad and think it'll be a tough night, we'll have extra
rooms at the house. You're always welcome to stay."

Harlow pulled me into a tight hug and I returned her affection. Life was
changing quickly and we could only struggle to keep up.
Understanding Harlow's fears about me and Dylan, I knew our
relationship appeared on fast forward. Despite everyone's concerns,
God blessed me with a chance at love. Dylan and I belonged together
and nothing rational mattered.
Chapter Thirty Four ~ Dylan
Thanksgiving was a big day in the Todds's household. They started the
day with a large breakfast at the church. After a service, they served
dinner to those less fortunate in town. Finally, the family shared a
dinner at home. Toni put us in charge of this last part.
In my family, we normally went out to dinner for Thanksgiving. My
mom didn't like cooking. None of my stepmoms wanted to cook either.
Dad wasn't the kind of man to treat holidays as a special occasion, so
this Thanksgiving was like my first.
Walking through the grocery store, I pushed one cart while Harlow
pushed a second. Winnie held a list of necessary supplies to make the
turkey dinner with all the fixings. Jace stayed close to Harlow as we
filed the carts.
"Are you going to grow out your hair?" Winnie asked, shifting closer as
we passed a crowd of college kids fighting over what beer brand to buy.
"I don't know. What do you think I should do?"
Winnie smiled at me, but she was in a quiet mood from the noise
around us. Harlow was happy to pick up the slack.
"I say keep it shaved. Makes you look tough and you really need
the help."
Narrowing my eyes at her, I tried not to smile. Harlow laughed at
Winnie's angry expression. I knew they were messing with each other,
so I looked to Jace for his opinion.
The kid stared at me with dark eyes and shrugged. "I say let it grow
longer. It'll help keep your fat head warm."
The girls laughed while I ruffled up Jace's thick black hair. "You'd

know about keeping fat heads warm, wouldn't you, kid?"
Jace gave me a great smile. He was warming up to me and I realized I
wanted his approval. Broken like Winnie, Jace needed people to push
past his walls and embrace him.
We were all teasing him about his wild hair when my phone rang. I saw
the call was from my mom and considered ignoring it. All the family
time with the Todds had likely made me soft because I decided to give
Mom a break.
"Hey," I said while Winnie and Harlow talked ham and turkey.
"Hay is for horses, Dylan," Mom replied like clockwork.
Rolling my eyes, I wished I hadn't answered. "What's up?"
Mom sighed, desperately wishing to tell me the sky was up. Instead,
she got to the point of the call.
"Will you be visiting for Christmas?" I'd like you to meet my future
husband, Sal."
Glancing at Winnie, I considered telling Mom my big news. I imagined
what she would say and how her dismissive words would make me
feel. Fuck it. She didn't need to know my personal shit.
"I have plans for the holiday."
"Oh," Mom said in a snippy voice. "With your father because I thought
you two weren't getting along?"
"No, not with him. I'm spending the holidays with my girlfriend's
family."
"Oh, who is she?"
I studied Winnie. She'd lost interest in the meat section and was now
watching me. I imagined her in the same room as my judgmental
mother. How long before mom would bitch about Winnie's posture or
some other stupid little thing? I even imagined Mom making a snide
comment about Winnie pinching her hands or flinching at nothing.
"Mom, I' m in the middle of shopping. You have a great Thanksgiving
and I'll talk to you soon."
After she muttered something like goodbye, I hung up and returned to
Winnie's side. She stared at me nervously even after I wrapped my
arms around her. Life would never be easy for Winnie, but my job was
to make her feel as safe as possible. Whether beating down a loud
college

idiot or keeping my mom states away, I'd do whatever necessary to
protect what was mine.
Chapter Thirty Five ~ Winnie
Lark began suffering from Braxton Hicks contractions when she
reached the six month point. They were merely practice for the real
deal. If she rested on a different side or elevated her feet, the
contractions ended. Just after Thanksgiving, they began at eleven in the
morning and didn' t stop no matter what position she tried.
After a short period of denial, Lark knew a trip to the hospital was
necessary. First, I called 911 since she was high risk and giving birth in
the car wasn't happening. Next, I contacted Aaron who was golfing
with his dad and Cooper. Finally, I got hold of Raven.
"I' m scared out of my fucking mind," Lark said as we waited for the
ambulance.
"If it's for real, they'll give you an epidural and you won't feel the pain
of the contractions. Then they'll prep you for the surgery. It won't take
long for them to get the babies out then you can see Phoebe and Leo.
Oh, and Aaron will be with you during the C-section."
"Do you remember that from your baby?"
"No. I looked it up on the internet."
Lark smiled. "It'll be okay. It's a good hospital and they know how to
take care of preemies. My doctor has experience with them too. It's
okay."
Rubbing her feet, I tried to stay calm so she would remain calm
too.
"By this evening, you'll know if the babies have curly hair like Aaron
did."
Lark' s eyes lit up. "I' m going to see my babies. I know I might not be
able to hold them if they're in those incubators, but I can touch them
and see them."
The paramedics carried Lark to the ambulance on a stretcher. She
looked embarrassed to have the attention, but I teased her about being a
queen carried around by hunky slaves. The paramedics like that too.

Sitting up front, I peeked back at Lark whose cheeks were red like
when her blood pressure spiked. I heard the paramedics with her say
they were already prepping at the hospital for an emergency C-section.
It wouldn't be long, he promised.
I remained with Lark in the hospital room until Aaron arrived out of
breath from running.
"My muse," he said, taking her hand.
Leaving them alone to prepare for the surgery, I walked into the
waiting room. Cooper patted the chair next to him and I joined him.
"She'll be okay," he said, sounding convincing.
I didn't feel like talking, so I texted Dylan, Harlow, Mom, and Dad to
let them know what was happening. Cooper spoke quietly on the phone
with Farah who was on her way with Tawny.
First, Dick and Maryann arrived then Raven not long afterwards with
Bailey.
"We were shopping when you called," Bailey announced as Raven
hurried to Lark's room.
Joining her brother, Bailey tapped her foot and stared at the door. "How
long will it take?"
"Patience," Cooper muttered then returned to talking with Farah.
Bailey changed seats, so she was next to me. "Don't be scared. Pixies
are powerful creatures."
Smiling softly, I took Bailey's hand and waited. Others arrived. The
Smith sisters arrived, followed by Vaughn, Judd, and Tucker then
Maddy after she dropped off Scarlet with the Johanssons. Finally,
Dylan and Nick walked into the waiting room.
Diving for Dylan's arms, I focused on his heartbeat, rather than the
hospital noises around us.
"It'll be okay," he whispered.
Even nodding, I had a bad feeling that happy words wouldn't fix.
The door to the room opened and Raven emerged followed by Aaron
who followed a nurse down the hall. A gurney with little Lark exited
next. I heard her tell Raven everyone would be okay. Raven said the
same thing back to her. Once Lark was around the corner, Raven
yanked Vaughn out of the waiting room and away from prying eyes. I

know she didn't like for people to see her cry.
The next hour felt like ten. Sitting with a Kindle each, Bailey and Nick
worked on reading assignments. Maddy and Tucker watched
something on his phone. Tawny and Judd walked the halls then sat
outside in the courtyard with Vaughn and Raven. I didn't know what to
say or do, so I stared at the floor. Dylan watched the news on the
overhead TV. Cooper consoled a crying Farah.
"Ignore me," Farah said when Dylan glanced at her. "I cry easily and
the hormones aren't helping either."
Dylan nodded then returned to watching TV. All the while, he held my
hand snugly in his.
The moment Aaron appeared, we all prepared for good news. The
babies were here. Lark was fine. Congratulations all around.
Instead, the clearly freaked out Aaron walked to his parents.
"Something went wrong," he said, his voice uneven. "After the babies
were out, the machine tracking Lark's heart rate made alarm noises.
The doctor said she was bleeding too much and I needed to get out so
they could work."
Maryann hugged a shaking Aaron while Dick went to get answers. I
didn't know what to do for him. All I could think of was Lark
surrounded by strangers. Even knowing she was likely under
anesthesia if things were really that bad, I still hated her being without
Aaron.
Dylan pulled me into a hug. "Lark will be okay. Don't let her size fool
you. She's a fighter."
I knew Dylan was scared too. Lark believed in his ability to be more
than Larry. She inspired him and those changes led him to me. Lark had
so much light in her little body, so I closed my eyes and imagined her
back home. Picturing her next to Aaron on the couch she wanted to
torch, I saw her holding one baby while he held the other. In my mind,
the crew surrounded the new family. We were together and everyone
was safe.
Cooper threw his weight around and Dick charmed the nurses, but no
one gave us any info for another hour. We didn't even know if the
babies were healthy. Through it all, I leaned against Dylan and focused
on the image of us all packed into the Craftsman house. I prayed hard
for

the picture in my head to become reality. Lark and Aaron deserved a
long happy life together with their babies.
When the doctor walked out to the waiting room, I refused to look at
him. I wasn't giving up the dream until reality tore it away. Dylan
tensed while waiting for the news, but I kept my eyes closed and
imagined Lark healthy.
Dylan spoke to me, but I didn't want to hear bad news. Finally, his
persistence forced me to listen.
"She's out of surgery and going to be okay."
Opening my eyes, I glanced around and saw everyone smiling with
relief. Aaron and Raven were desperate to see Lark, but she wasn't in
her room yet. Instead, they were taken to see the babies who were also
okay.
Dylan lifted my chin so my lips could meet his. I kissed him hard,
suddenly overwhelmed with emotion I'd held tight inside me.
"Good things happen," I said, crying now. "Sometimes I forget that
even when I have a blessing right in front of me."
Dylan wrapped me tighter in his arms and smiled against my lips. "Me
too, but I never lost faith in little Lark. If anyone could kick death in the
ass, it would be her."
I laughed at the thought of Lark versus the Grim Reaper. When my
laughter drew the attention of the others, they laughed too, even
without knowing why. All the tension faded as our fears turned to
celebration.
"Shit, I'm gonna get teary-eyed," Vaughn announced, looking at his
phone.
We all received the same message from Raven with pictures of the
babies.
"Which one's the girl?" Judd asked, squinting at Tawny's phone. "The
one with the pink hat," his wife said. Everyone laughed again.
"You can't see if they have curly hair," Cooper muttered. "Man, I hope
at least one of them does. I'm never letting Aaron live that shit down."
More laughter as everyone enjoyed the additional photos Raven sent.
The babies were so small and I faintly remembered what Jonah looked
like when he was born. He was bald, I recalled that much.

"One day..." I said to Dylan who smiled. "An itty bitty Winona to own
my heart."
Smiling, I shivered at the thought of experiencing motherhood with a
man like Dylan at my side. We were not ready yet. One day though...
Chapter Thirty Six ~ Dylan
The crew headed to Tequila Jodi's for a celebration. Raven and Vaughn
arrived an hour after everyone. They made up for their tardiness by
binge drinking a bottle of tequila. Well, Vaughn did. Raven binged on a
pitcher of Diet Coke.
"I might be binging for two!" she announced then sat down to look over
the pictures of her niece and nephew.
Harlow showed up with Toni. While her mom joined Jodi at a back
table, Harlow made a beeline for Winnie.
"Are you okay?" she asked, studying Winnie's face.
"Yes. Are you?"
Harlow rolled her eyes. "You know what I mean." Winnie glanced at
me and I saw such peace in her eyes. When she looked back at Harlow,
her smile brightened.
"Lark and the babies are okay. Today is a good day." Hugging her
sister, Winnie couldn't stop smiling. "Are you drunk?" Harlow asked.
"I'm happy."
Harlow studied her sister again and checked her hands for new bruises.
"Do you plan to sleep at home tonight?" "No, I'm staying with Dylan."
"Any bad memories about the baby?" "Only hopeful thoughts about the
future."
Harlow frowned at me then shrugged. "I can imagine you two making a
decent looking kid. Your pretty eyes and hair and his. well shaped
head. Yeah, it'll work."
Running a hand over my head, I laughed. "My head shape is helluva
sexy."
Winnie's calm infected Harlow who laughed and ordered a soda.

The sisters danced with Bailey and Sawyer to Amos Moses. I knew
Winnie wasn't comfortable showing off in front of people. Whenever
she got nervous, she glanced at me and relaxed.
"Wedding bells," Nick said from beside me. "You didn't waste any
time."
"She calms the asshole in me and I calm the broken girl in her. What's
there to wait for?"
Giving me a grin, Nick shrugged. "When you know, you know."
Sharing a smile with the still dancing Winnie, I knew she was mine and
always would be.
Epilogue ~ Winnie
Our wedding was on New Year's Eve. In a decision seeming odd to
some people, Kirk walked me down the aisle. He was the one who
saved me from hell. I asked Dad to marry Dylan and me in the church I
viewed as a second home.
The wedding remained low-key. No fancy dresses or tuxes. Everyone
arrived in casual attire. Harlow was especially thrilled since she hated
dresses almost as much as Tawny. All of the girls were my bridesmaids
including Lark. Though still weak, she was happy to be out of the
house. Dylan chose Nick as his best man, mainly to piss off Cooper.
Ring barer Jace escorted flower girl Sawyer down the aisle, eliciting
oohs and ahhs from the adults in the church. His expression was
priceless.
After the wedding, everyone headed to the meeting hall at the bowling
alley. We ate dinner, danced, and eventually bowled. Vaughn and
Raven loved the reception so much they planned to have theirs at the
alley when Lark was a hundred percent.
I felt so confident by the time we bowled that I beat Vaughn easily.
Once Dylan declared we needed lame bowling shirts likes the V-Team,
a rivalry was born. A year later, we bought Winnie the Pooh themed
bowling shirts. Vaughn mocked us while Raven pitied us. Oh, but how
they fumed when we kicked their asses and pointed to the smiling Pooh
on our shirts.

The day after the wedding, we moved into our house. We spent the
honeymoon unpacking and staying warm by the fire. I had a little
trouble sleeping in our new room. Okay, a lot of trouble really. I needed
meds, Cookie Monster, and a lot of help from Dylan to get through the
first night. As much as I loved our home, I couldn't relax.
The next day, we had my family over. The next night, Cooper and
Farah joined us for dinner. Every evening afterwards, another couple
from the crew visited. Soon, the house didn't feel new. It felt like a
home.
Dylan's business slowed during the cold winter months, but I remained
busy with Lark. Until she brought the twins home, I'd only held a baby
once and it ended with me sobbing. The twins left no time for tears or
panic attacks. Lark claimed the babies already tag-teamed any adult
watching them. Whether she was paranoid or perceptive, we created a
system to keep the twins cleaned, fed, and as quiet as possible.
Often we sat on the couch with the twins and simply looked at them.
Lark traced her baby's face, studying its features. I copied her with
whatever baby rested on my lap. Soon, I was comfortable touching a
baby and looked forward to holding one.
Leo preferred Lark and cried when I cared for him. Instead of crying
too, I learned to ignore his displeasure while I changing his diaper or
preparing a bottle. Phoebe was easy-going. When she stared at me
while I fed her, I found myself thinking about Jonah. I'd never felt a
connection with him. Not when he was inside me or when I held him.
When I looked at pictures of him, I felt no parental pride. He was my
son, yet didn't belong to me.
One day I woke up next to Dylan and decided I wanted a baby of my
own. I craved what my friends experienced. After a year of marriage, I
knew I was ready to love a baby like it needed to be loved. Dylan was
nervous because he loved only me. A baby was an abstract idea, but I
was real and he wanted me safe. In the end, Dylan relented when I
refused to give up my dream.
Harlow returned to Ellsberg for the births of my children. I knew she'd
always worry about me because I was the fragile sister. Each time she
arrived, I saw the concern in her eyes. By the time she'd leave town

again, Harlow trusted in the life I'd built with Dylan.
When I was pregnant with Shelby, Dylan decided he needed a tattoo to
celebrate our love. The Johanssons and Nick tattooed their women's
names on their wrists. Dylan wanted something grander. After he and
Aaron worked on a design, I was presented with a colorful and rather
feminine Winnie the Pooh on his chest. The tattoo was so perfect that I
asked him to rest on his side facing me, so I could fall asleep looking at
it.
For each of our children, Dylan added a honey pot with the baby's
name. Later, Shelby and Shane learned to spell their names from
studying Daddy's tat. Dylan often declared himself a genius to have
come up with the idea. I had to agree.
Many days, I still couldn't believe Dylan loved me. He felt like a dream
and I often reached out in the morning to touch him to be sure he was
real. This touch often led him to touching me. Soon, touching was all
we thought about and our days tended to start rather late. By the time I
crawled lazily out of bed, I was very certain my dream guy was real and
he was very much mine.
Epilogue ~ Dylan
Six months into our marriage, I had a light bulb moment. I never
understood why Winnie freaked out about certain things or people, but
not others. When a giant biker from the club picked her up and spun her
around, she only laughed. Yet the pimply teen pizza guy sent her into a
panic. I saw no rhyme or reason to her fears.
One day while Winnie worked on my business invoices, I sat admiring
her beauty. Suddenly, she flinched and looked out the window. With
anyone else, I'd think their gut was warning them. With Winnie though,
nothing happened. Her instinct was all wrong.
The Vandals didn't only damage her confidence. They also destroyed
her instinct. She feared innocent things, yet embraced scary things
when she shouldn't.
This realization helped me view Winnie's problems like a disability. If
she had poor sight, I wouldn't get frustrated when she

couldn't see something. If she couldn't hear and needed things repeated,
I wouldn't expect her to get over it. Her inability to know a true threat
from an imaginary one was just another broken sense.
Over the years, Winnie figured me out too. If I was tense, she'd bounce
around and pretend to fight me.
"You need to fight someone or fuck me. Either way, you'll calm down."
The choice wasn't difficult and I always chilled out after she gave me
her ultimatum. Yeah, Winnie had my number.
Plenty of people felt we rushed into marriage. My dad was one of them,
always making shotgun wedding comments. Once I showed him how
Aaron reworked my demon tattoo into a Grim Reaper, he backed off. I
officially had no allegiance to my dad anymore. My heart belonged to
Winnie and my loyalty to the club. Larry was a bad memory from my
past.
Three months into our marriage, we adopted a kitten Winnie named
Cookie. Eight months into our marriage, we brought home a bulldog I
wanted to name Monster. Instead, Bailey suggested Horny Toad and
her suggestion stuck. When the kids came along, we shorted the dog's
name to Toad.
On our first anniversary, Winnie decided she wanted to have a baby.
Once she got an idea stuck in her head, I didn't waste time disagreeing.
Like our first night together, Winnie decided something and I enjoyed
the results.
Shelby was three months old when Winnie wanted another one. I
worried it was too soon after her C-section and we were still getting the
hang of one baby. Winnie refused to budge and Shane was born ten
months later.
The boss man in me liked knowing our family was complete. The only
child in me worried the kids wouldn't have enough siblings to enjoy
what I missed growing up. Fortunately, Shelby and Shane were crazy
about each other. Shy like their mom, the kids enjoyed each other's
company more than other kids. Even the crew's kids were kept at arm's
length for years except for River. Vaughn and Raven's oldest boy spent
hours at our house, playing in the backyard with his best friends.

Raven decided to homeschool her army of blond kids after attending
River' s kindergarten orientation. Apparently, the other moms sucked.
She worried her kids might end up polluted by the same lameness if
they attended public schools. Despite Winnie being homeschooled, I
thought the Rogers were nuts. Hell, everyone did. We mocked Raven
and Vaughn constantly about their baby factory, hippy van, and of
course the names. Cavalry? Oh, and Denver! They'd never even been to
Colorado! Their last baby was lucky enough to be named Sylvie,
though she ended up with the nickname "Eight is Enough."
Homeschooling was another wacky thing the V-Team did that I didn't
understand.
Yet on Shelby's first day of kindergarten, our Winnie look-alike stared
at her brother and I knew we were in trouble. She burst into tears,
causing her mini-me Shane to do the same. Soon, Winnie was sobbing
too. No way could we arrive at school on time and showing up late was
out of the question for a shy kid. By the next day, Winnie was their
teacher and I suffered ribbing from Nick for following in the hippies'
footsteps.
Along with teaching the kids, Winnie acted as my office manager. She
also helped Bailey run an array of businesses for the Johanssons. The
club had trouble finding someone to do their financials and trusting the
person wouldn't hurt the Reapers. Winnie was someone they could trust
and she loved helping the club who gave her a second chance.
Once Cooper realized Winnie had a knack for organizing such things,
he handed her more and more work. She loved doing it too because she
handled it all from home. Seeing her so confident inspired me to find
her space to spread out.
We moved into our new house when Shane was ready for kindergarten.
Like his sister, he preferred a home setting. Our new home had space
for a classroom, a playroom for the piles of toys, and an office for
Winnie. We also got a hot tub that I spent many evening in with my
pretty lady while the kids played nearby.
Not long after we moved into the house, my mother finally met Winnie
and the kids. I ' d managed to avoid seeing Larry around town, but
eventually Mom nagged me into having her visit.

Mom patted the kids on the heads and looked at Winnie like she was
the maid. I worried they might be hurt by her coldness. Oh, they had her
number.
Once Mom met Toad and claimed the sleeping dog looked dangerous,
Winnie rolled her eyes and gave up on making a good impression. An
hour later, Shelby explained the bulldog tattoo on my arm was named
Frog to go with the real bulldog's name. My mom shook her head and
said she didn't understand. At that point, the kids lost interest in her.
She tried to get them to care about her opinions, but they only humored
her. I guess I raised them too well or they took after their mom too
much. Either way, the kids merely tolerated her and Mom never visited
again.
Her absence meant the same as Larry's. Nothing. I had a huge family
with the Todds, the church parishioners, the Reapers, and of course the
crew. Our house never went without visitors. We were always hosting
sleepovers for River or dropping by someone's house for meals.
After a lifetime feeling like I didn't belong, I suddenly couldn't turn
around without bumping into someone I considered family. I was truly
blessed. In fact every night, I tucked my kids in bed then kicked the dog
out of my bedroom followed by the cat. Finally, I was alone with
Winnie. Each time, she looked at me as if confused about what I might
want. Hell, if even after all these years together, she still didn't make
me
beg.
About Bijou
Living in Indiana with my three sweet sons, two wacky cats, one super
mom (and her ugly dog), I love writing, blogging, and Denny's. Follow
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***Bijou Hunter is the pseudonym of author Angela Horn.