After turning against his former MC, Vaughn Majors found refuge in
Ellsberg. Years later, he remains a dead man walking, avoiding
commitments and hiding his loneliness.
Raven Hancock refuses to fall in love again. Men are her poison and
Vaughn is all kinds of bad news. He's also the hottest, funniest,
sweetest bastard she's ever met.
Can Outlaw free himself from the dangers of his past and build a home
with a girl able to see more than the blood on his hands?
Damaged and the Outlaw
Bijou Hunter

Chapter One - Raven
Since I was old enough to notice boys, I'd suffered from a sickness
when it came to men.
If a hundred guys were in a room and only one of them was a
two-timing, money-stealing, back-handing piece of shit, I'd find him in
the crowd. Not only find him, but promptly fall head over heels in lust.
I wasn't purposely stupid. Never would I admit my men were losers.
They were just misunderstood or rough around the edges. If their
fuckups were too obvious for me to ignore, I embraced the time-tested
lie women like me cherished.
I'd change him.
People called me a bitch. Hell on wheels. Scary even. If anyone could
whip a man into shape, it should have been me. In the end, nobody
really changes. They might train themselves to pretend, but inside their
flaws remained.
My mom had gone through every kind of bad man. For her, Larry was
the best she could manage. He didn't drink, do drugs, or live in a trailer.
He was a great man in her mind and no amount of punishments for her
mistakes would change her view of him.
One day, I might become desperate enough to settle for a guy like
Larry. Probably not. While I wanted kids, sperm was free at any bar in
any town. I didn't need a man to survive. With my sickness, I shouldn't
have one. So I returned to Ellsberg with the plan to swear off men from
my life, my heart, and even my bed.
In Ellsberg lived the only person who really mattered to me. My mom
was shit in my eyes. My dad was a fucking loser too. My little brother
Phoenix drowned when he was three. All I had left was Lark.
Fortunately, she was the best person I'd ever met.
Somehow, despite the Hancock women curse, Lark found a good man
who adored her. She met Aaron, fell in love, got knocked up, and was
married within months. This usual recipe for disaster turned out to be
the most beautiful relationship I'd ever witnessed.
Everywhere I turned, people were in love. Cooper Johansson who

was a poonhound in high school had married Farah. His enforcer
married her sister. All these happy couples were constantly sucking
face, so I avoided spending too much time with the group. Girl time
was more my thing especially with my abstinence plan.
Fortunately, I found a new sidekick once Lark was married with babies
onboard.
In high school, Bailey Johansson annoyed me, so I avoided her as if she
was a cootie machine. Now, the fellow blonde chick was my copilot.
Before Bailey joined my abstinence plan, we tried hunting men for her.
Her attempts at romance were more pathetic than mine. The poor shit
couldn't get a nice guy to give her the time of day. Meanwhile, assholes
were lining up around the block to get a chance to hang and bang her.
As a result of her empowered decision to copy me, Bailey was in a
constant state of horniness. This led to her being in a constant state of
crankiness. I knew how she felt.
More than missing sex, I missed having a man. The way the stubble felt
on my skin, the heat of their breath on my neck, the way their hair stuck
up in the morning after a good night of fucking. Unfortunately, those
fun parts came with cheating, beating, and leaving. Men always treated
me like shit and I really didn't miss that part.
Preparing for my fight in the Thunderdome, I wanted a cigarette. Ever
since I was seventeen and my then stepdad told me smoking was for
losers, I had been a smoker. He might as well have shoved a cigarette in
my mouth and said inhale. Giving up sex was harder than giving up the
company of a man, but they were both easier to ditch than my smokes.
Sitting in the locker room, I hoped the fight was really violent. A good
wild battle would distract from smoking and fucking. I'd be tired and
sore and nothing else would matter.
My first fight in the Thunderdome was against a black chick on a
winning streak that I ended for her. As we applied ice to our swelling
noses, Cecee thanked me. She said the pressure to keep winning was
too much, yet people were sick of her beating everyone. She was stuck
in a

cycle of stress and I'd freed her.
The next time we fought, Cecee kicked my ass.
Bloodied and grateful for all of my teeth, I had wondered if the money
was worth taking a beating every few nights at the Thunderdome. Once
the cash was in hand and I considered my other employment options,
fighting seemed like an easy paycheck.
In theory, the girl fights were more for show. We weren't expected to
hurt each other. Just make it look good, Axel said the first night. The
girls only needed to look hot and give off a lesbian vibe. No one
expected them to really fight. If Axel wasn't my boss, I'd have punched
him in the face for saying that to me. More than hot, I was tough as
nails and stubborn like a mule.
While Cecee and I were real fighters, most girls did what Axel
suggested. They yanked hair and gave nip slips, so the crowd got a
show. When I fought those girls, I played along. No way would I bash
in the face of a girl who wouldn't fight back.
I invited Lark to watch me fight on a night I knew would be lame. She
hated me fighting. The bruises freaked her out and she cried when I
came home with a black eye. Of course, she had all those hormones
filling her tiny body as she fostered not one life, but two.
Twins!
Feeling dizzy to the point of becoming bedridden, Lark and Aaron had
visited the doctor early. I tagged along, already accustomed to being
the third wheel. An ultrasound up Lark's hoohaw later, I learned I
would be an aunt twice over. I decided right then to move out of their
small Craftsman house.
Taking up the offer to stay at Cooper's old apartment at the Johansson
place, I left a crying Lark behind. She cried less upon realizing I would
still be at her house every day. I think this fact made Aaron cry though.
Lark avoided my fight nights now. She just didn't have the energy to
deal with the crowds and seeing her big sister get bloodied. Tonight, I
looked forward to bloodying someone else.
"Excuse me?" a quiet voice asked behind.
Spinning around, I came face-to-face with my opponent. Tiny like

Lark, but curvier, she was decked out with teased hair and too much
makeup. Looking like a hooker, she appeared around thirty, but was
likely in her late teens. "What?"
"I'm Lise and I'm fighting you tonight."
"Come to beg me not to make you bleed?" I growled, feeling grumpy in
a way only a smoke would satisfy.
"Yes, please," Lise squeaked. "See, I have pictures scheduled
tomorrow with my family and I really don't want to look all messed
up."
"How is that my problem?"
I was very proud of my bitchiness. In fact, Bailey and I had bitch
contests and she was the only chick who ever came close to defeating
me. I adored my cranky attitude. Even more than my C-cup boobs,
great hair, and ability to eat an hour after barfing, my bad attitude was
my favorite quality. "No mercy" was printed on more than one of my
shirts. I hated pity and would crush anyone except Lark. My only
weakness?
Crying.
Lise's over made-up eyes moistened and I knew she would be bawling
in less than a minute. Her sobs would be loud and gross and snot would
get everywhere. So I showed mercy, mainly for my ears, by stopping
her from crying.
"We'll just make a show of it," I said and Lise hiccupped. "Little cat
fight stuff. No bruises or anything to ruin your pictures, okay?"
Lise nodded wildly. "Thank you so much. You're amazing and I totally
owe you."
"Whatever. I just don't want to ruin your day with the family and all
that," I said, ducking her attempt at a hug. "It'll be fine. You'll see."
Lise looked up at me and smiled like I was amazing. I smiled back at
her and realized the nice route had its benefits. I even felt a little surge
of pride in showing kindness to someone. Look at me! Turning over a
new leaf like Bailey. I might even let Lark and Tawny train me to be a
good person. Why not?
Twenty minutes in our fake fight, little Lise bit into my hand like a
starving zombie. How the hell she went from playfully tugging my hair
to eating me, I wasn't sure. I know it ended when I punched her in the

face. The crowd roared when Lise went sprawling. I looked up at them
and frowned because my fucking hand hurt.
Storming out of the cage, I doused the wound with peroxide, wrapped
my hand, shoved a few pieces of Nicorette into my mouth, and decided
I needed a stiff drink. Having given sugar, spice, and everything nice a
try, I admitted I wasn't a fan. Mercy was for suckers.

Chapter Two - Vaughn
Funny how life could change in a split second. One moment, I had a
solid life with as close to a family as I'd ever managed. The next
moment, a temper tantrum caused me to ruin the known and forced me
to embrace an indifferent world.
What I found in Ellsberg was better than indifference, but I wasn't truly
part of the Reapers Motorcycle Club. I was an outlaw they allowed in
their territory. Of course, I'd made friends in this small town and I'd
take a bullet for many of them.
Despite a sense of friendship, a man with a bounty on his head couldn't
afford to trust anyone. One of those friendly fucks in my club might
need extra cash for a house payment or a vacation to Dollywood with
the kids. My life was shit when money could be made.
Fear forced people to pretend I belonged. I was as good at scaring
people as Judd. We were killers and a knock from us in the middle of
the night usually meant someone wasn't seeing their kids in the
morning. That was my life now. It had been my life before I made the
split-second decision to ruin everything I had in Tucson. Didn't matter
where I lived, my job was spilling blood.
Killing was all I knew how to do. No sense in crying over my choices,
even if they led to my empty life in a place full of possibilities.
Even under threat, I had a decent life in Ellsberg. Shacked up in a good
sized bachelor pad with a gym and pool, I also bought a patch of
wooded land from Kirk where I built a cabin. The area was secluded
and I' d often think about making my last stand against the Devils in my
cabin. More likely, I'd get killed taking a leak at a bar.
There were things a dead man walking shouldn't have and that included
a pet. I'd wanted a dog, but felt weird about what would happen to it
once I was killed. Judd was too lazy for dogs. Cooper had so many that
mine would get lost in the mess. I figured I shouldn't get a pet anyway.
Attachments made men soft. This fact was made obvious lately by my
buddies.
I blamed Tucker. A little over a year earlier, the idiot strolled over

to a table filled with college girls. Each one shot him down until he was
left with Maddy. For whatever reason, she thought he was funny. Or
maybe just hot enough to overcome his lack of brain cells. They
hooked up and he quickly handed his balls to her with a ribbon tied
around them. He acted like he was still his own man, but the guy was
whipped to the point of being fluffy.
Once he lost his way, the others fell like dominoes. Cooper and Judd
were family men now. While my fellow enforcer wasn't ready for kids,
our boss had a baby on the way.
Cooper hadn't announced this fact. No, apparently, it was a secret
couples kept until some magical point in a pregnancy when it suddenly
became everyone else's problem. Even though Cooper and Farah didn't
tell anyone she was knocked up, it was pretty damn obvious.
A three feet radius, maybe more, existed around Farah now. Cooper got
psycho pissed if anyone entered the bubble around his woman. While
he'd always been territorial, he was now like a junkyard dog protecting
his bone.
Even as we bowled, Cooper glared at anyone stupid enough to wander
near Farah. For her part, she looked about the same. Well, hot dogs now
made her nauseous. Clearly, the hormones were already giving her bad
taste.
Bailey and I sat eating foot longs by ourselves. Nearby, Maddy and
Tucker were busy announcing how they were free to party since Scarlet
was with the Johanssons for the night. An hour later, they made this
announcement drunk off their asses.
I just kept eating my hot dogs and bowling by myself. Bailey
sometimes rolled a ball into a gutter. When I had them put up the
bumpers for her, she managed to roll the ball into another alley and
land in that gutter. The girl had a talent.
"I' m so bored," she whined. "Why do you bowl? Are you lame?"
"Probably. Why are you here anyway?"
"Fuck you," the redneck princess growled. "I'm part of the crew."
"Yeah, but why is the crew here? Cooper is hovering around his
woman like she's the Hope diamond." "The what?"

Rolling my eyes, I continued, "Judd and Tawny bailed to fuck
somewhere. Maddy and Dipshit are drunk off their asses." "So true."
"Lark and Aaron are at home so she can gestate her litter. I'm
essentially alone."
"I' m here, dummy," she growled again and this time the anger inspired
a hot dog smelling burp. "Way not to appreciate me."
"You hate bowling."
"I know, but I' m here."
"True. Sometimes, I think I should just fuck you and make you my
woman until I' m dead. I' m lazy enough for it to work." "I don't want to
fuck you."
Giving her a wink, I rolled the ball. "Whatever you need to tell
yourself, princess."
"I'm going the abstinence route. It's my new thing."
"I thought studying was your new thing?"
"That was when school was in. It's summer break, idiot."
"Why abstinence? Do you think playing hard to get will make some
guy chase you?"
"No, Raven and I are giving up men. She's doing it forever. I'm just
doing it until I get bored."
"Lark's sister. The blonde one with the nice tits."
"How would you like if people called you Judd's friend? The blond one
with small balls."
"I wouldn't mind. I'm really easy-going that way."
Bailey grinned. "Do you think I' m pretty?"
"You're fucking gorgeous. Just like the last time you asked."
"I'd fuck you if you had a better personality. Why must you suck?"
"I wasn't raised well," I said, mussing her hair. "I'm finishing my game
then ditching you with the drunks."
Glancing around, Bailey realized Cooper and Farah had left.
"Bummer."
"Go hang out with Raven. You two can not have sex together." The
idea of the two blondes naked gave me a moment to daydream. Bailey
woke me up by punching my arm.

"I thought you were nice now?" I asked, admiring her right hook. "Oh,
yeah, sorry. I'll try to remember next time you piss me off." "You don't
have to stay while I finish my game." "Raven is working tonight. Lark
is sick. Tawny's busy getting fucked. I have so many friends, yet I'm
alone. I blame you." "Sounds about right."
"I guess I'll go to the Thunderdome and watch Raven."
Having seen Raven a few times in passing, I knew she was hotter than
hell. I also heard she was a ball-busting bitch. Those were two of my
favorite qualities in a woman.
"I'll go with you."
"You're not hooking up with her," Bailey said, giving me her tough
chick duckface expression. "She's abstaining from fucking losers like
you."
"I' m not looking to fuck her. I just want to watch her fight another girl.
Let her get me riled up then I'll find another chick to give me a happy
ending."
"Won't be me."
"You keep saying that," I muttered, rolling my final strike. "I think
maybe you' ve got fucking me on your mind."
"No way. I like someone else. He's hotter than you and smells like
bacon."
Grinning, I hugged Bailey to me. "Baby, aim higher than bacon
stink."
"You're not the boss of me."
Based on her grumpy tone, I realized Bailey would cockblock any
chance I had with Raven. Even if I got my happy ending from another
chick, I was looking to play a little with the icy blonde. Bailey though
would ruin it with her hot bacon guy talk.
"Someone needs to take care of the drunks," I said, gesturing towards
Maddy and Tucker. "I guess that someone is you."
"Why me?" she balked.
"He's your brother."
"That's not my fault."
"Well, it's even less my problem."

"But I want to go to the fight."
"You only wanted that starting five minutes ago. You'll recover from
the disappointment. The winos over there can't drive themselves
home."
"No," she whined. "I won't do it. I'm nice, but not self-sacrificing nice."
I wrapped an arm around her shoulder. "If you take them to their place
and keep them drunk, you can get them to do stupid stuff while you
videotape. Just think of the blackmailing possibilities."
Bailey's blue eyes lit up then she sighed. "I'm nice now. I can't do stuff
like that because of my kind heart and shit."
"Dumpling, you can't be nice twenty four seven. If you don't act like a
bitch every once in awhile then you'll burn out. Look at Tawny. She's
nice most of the time, but she also won't let Judd come out and play
with me. That's a bitch move right there."
Bailey rolled her eyes. "You're so immature. Get a new friend."
"Think of it this way. I'll be dead sooner than you will, so I need to have
more fun than you do. Tonight, I'll have fun not babysitting drunks
while you suffer by making them doing weird shit while taking
pictures. I bet you could get Maddy to draw on Tucker's face again."
Bailey sighed. "Okay, but Raven won't fuck you. She's sworn off
losers. You're not her type."
"Stop calling me a loser. I have feelings, you know?"
Bailey laughed at my feigned hurt feelings. She continued laughing as
she herded the drunks out the door. When I walked to the parking lot,
she was still laughing. As I drove away, she had the drunks pointing
and laughing too. Nice might be tricky for Bailey, but she had the bitch
thing down pat.
Riding to Thunderdome, I doubted Raven would be much fun. I'd
avoided her because of her reputation as a man-eater and I didn't need
another chick hassling me. While Bailey was obnoxious, she was like a
kid sister.
Raven would give me something pretty to look at and I was bored. One
cool fact about Ellsberg was the college. Every year, new girls arrived
and most were looking for a wild time with a guy riding a

Harley. No strings, no expectations. They wanted to fuck a bad boy
then go steady with some dork in their Trig class. This setup worked
just fine for me.
Summer meant most of the college chicks had returned home and it'd
be months before new freshman arrived looking to ride me and my
Harley. Until they came giggling to town, I needed a diversion. Hell,
with the Devils making trouble lately, I suspected I might not be around
for those curious freshmen anyway.
Tucker was an idiot and he ruined the foursome boys' club by losing his
balls. Even though I resented him, I had to applaud the Thunderdome
idea. He turned an old equestrian arena into a cage fighting stadium.
One of my favorite activities on the weekends was watching fights
break out in the bars. I always found professional bouts too scripted and
the fighters too talented. I wanted to watch chumps beating each other
in random stupid ways. Tucker gave me just that sort of mayhem.
Every time I came to the Thunderdome, it was packed. Even with so
many of the town's population home for the summer, the stands
remained filled. People came from around the state to bet on fighters. I
never wasted my money, since I was only there for the spectacle.
So far, I'd been to one girl fight and that was enough for me. I had no
issue with combining women and violence. In my job, I could be a cold
fuck. Besides, these chicks were paid to smack each other around. No, I
was more freaked out by the guys around me and their reaction to the
violence. Being surrounded by horny men didn't interest me, so I stayed
away. Tonight, I would endure the aroused freaks in the stands.
The first fight was lame. An uncoordinated chick fighting the black girl
I saw from before. It was clear how one could fight and the other
couldn't which resulted in a play fight. They danced more than fought.
Finally, the black chick knocked the other one down and the
uncoordinated chick stayed on the ground.
Next, Raven appeared in gym shorts, a wife beater, and blonde hair
wild around her face. Taller than little Lark, she was curvy in the right
places, toned in the others. Pouty lips turned into a frown, she looked
bored maybe. Even from my spot in the stands, I could see how fair her

eyes were. I found myself wondering how she looked when smiling.
Her opponent was a tiny redhead with raccoon eyes and teased hair.
She wore what looked like superhero pajamas. I didn't think the fight
would last long.
I wasn't wrong either.
What started as another lame girl fight turned violent when raccoon
eyes bit into Raven's hand. The blonde nailed the hungry chick in the
face and the crowd went wild. After Raven stormed off while the
redheaded chick was dragged out by two guys, I tried to catch up with
my target.
Tucker's guy said she was changing. When Axel came back, he said she
was gone. Maybe I looked pissed and close to violence because he got
babbly. Axel said she went for a drink and the fight girls liked Tequila
Jodi's.
Leaving him to change his pants, I strolled to my Harley and hoped to
catch up to Raven. At this point, I wondered if all my effort was worth
the outcome. An abstaining ice princess with violent tendencies meant
I was more likely to get kicked in the balls than laid. Either way, I was
too far into the chase to give up.

Chapter Three - Raven
Arriving at Tequila Jodi's, I found the parking lot nearly empty. Inside
the Key West flavored bar, a few old timers in the corner played cards
while talking about pussy they likely hadn't seen in a few decades. At
least, not for free.
In the opposite corner were a few college girls moping in their beers.
They looked up when I entered then glanced at the bar where I found
Beavis and Butthead. Having shot down the losers, they wanted to
warn me that I was next on the perverts' radars. I gave the girls a nod
then hopped onto the stool.
Glancing at the losers, I noticed them grin in unison. I couldn't imagine
their plan. Was I supposed to hook up with them both or choose
between Dumb and Dumber? Ignoring their lame smiles, I ordered a
beer and looked at my hand.
I couldn't believe the little dipshit bit me during the fight. After all her
whining about me not hurting her before the big picture day, she
gnawed at my hand like a rabid dog. Stupid bitch was going to look like
shit in her pictures. I'd made sure to nail her square in the nose to give
her two black eyes. Even getting my revenge, I couldn't believe how
much my hand hurt.
Two beers later, the pain was better and I no longer hated the chick. I
even hoped she hid the black eyes I gave her when she tried to eat me.
As I settled into a booze-induced good mood, the lame fucks at the end
of the bar scooted closer. I was ready to tell them about the gun I was
carrying when their focus turned towards the door
Following their gazes, I saw Vaughn Majors in all of his hot shit glory.
Guys like Vaughn were vain in the best way. His powerful shoulders
and chest demanded an extra large tee to fit comfortably. Of course, an
extra large shirt would hang loose over his ripped stomach. What could
he do? Simply buy a large tee so it clung to his every sexy curve. Hell,
I could probably see a mosquito bite under such a tight shirt. His vanity
gave me quite the view.
Hotter than sin, Vaughn was a shining example of the wrong guy.

He intimidated men when he wasn't dampening the panties of every
chick in the room. He walked to the bar like he was ready to hit
someone then fuck a random chick to celebrate his win.
I' d been impressed since seeing him in passing when he came by the
house to talk to the Johanssons. Having avoided him since then, I
planned to do so again. Sexy and up to no good was exactly the kind of
man I needed to abstain from. Of course, he walked directly to where I
sat and took the stool to my right. "Lark's sister." "Cooper's peon."
A grinning Vaughn tapped the bar to get the bartender's attention. Once
he had a beer, his gaze returned to me. "Saw you fight. Little bitch bit
you, huh?"
After showing him my hand, I forced my gaze to my drink and away
from his bright blue eyes.
"The biters are the worst," I muttered. "So you like watching chicks
wrestle. Typical."
"Bailey wanted to come," he said, adjusting on the stool so he was
sitting even closer. "She misses punching people." "I don't blame her."
As Vaughn studied my face, I acted like I didn't care. It wasn't easy
though with his maleness so damn intoxicating. Yet, I was abstaining
specifically from guys like him.
"I bet you're a real heartbreaker," he said, giving me a nearly irresistible
smile.
"I've never broken a single heart," I admitted. "I've broken more than a
few noses and stomped on several ball sacks though." Vaughn's grin
widened. "Let me buy you a drink." "I have a drink."
"Fine. Let me take you to a booth and sweet talk your sexy ass into my
bed tonight."
"I'm abstaining from fucking guys like you." "Guys like me? You
mean, sexy bastards that'll make you scream their names?"
"Yeah, basically."

As he slid a bit closer, I caught a whiff of his cologne. Smelling like
chocolate, the scent was bait to any self-respecting woman. Like a
moth to the flame, I had the worst urge to give him a lick and get a taste.
"Why don't we just talk then?" he said soft and seductive. "We share
friends. Let's get acquainted, so it won't be awkward at the crew
get-togethers."
"Crew?"
"It's what Tucker calls the group. I don't know if you've heard, but most
of the crew is hooked up with someone. If we're going to play solo, we
might as well become friends."
"I don't have guy friends. Just don't believe in it. The only thing men
have to offer is what I' m abstaining from."
A smirking Vaughn took my drink and gestured towards the nearby
empty booth. "You and I are in the same boat with the crew. So I guess
you're going to have guy friends whether you like it or not."
Despite my brain screaming for me to run from the bar and never look
back, I followed Vaughn to the booth. He leaned back and stretched out
his long legs.
"This is nice. Two friends being friendly," he said.
Rolling my eyes, I sipped my drink and ignored his cocky smile.
"How long has it been?" he asked, tapping my sandal with his boot.
"The abstaining thing."
Crossing my arms under my tits, I tightened them and pushed up the
girls for him to admire. I always loved teasing boys.
"I bet you've banged a girl recently. Like I could probably smell her on
you, if I got close enough," I grumbled, remembering how he smelled
like chocolate and I had a sweet tooth. "You're likely crawling with
germs."
Instead of finding offense, Vaughn watched me in a weird way. His lids
lowered as the corners of his mouth lifted. A sly look on his face,
Vaughn ran his tongue along his top teeth.
"I have a system," he said softly. "After I hook up with a random chick,
I shower with a big bottle of Purell. One of those economy-sized ones."
Even smiling, I kicked his foot away from mine. "I'm a bath person

myself. Just fill up the tub with really hot water then toss in a cap of
bleach plus a few bubbles and I' m set."
"Gotta have bubbles," he said in a deep low voice.
"What are you doing?"
Vaughn shook his head, yet his gaze held mine. "Just admiring your
beautiful smile."
Rolling my eyes again, I sighed. "Lame."
"I know. I really do. I use that line a lot, but it's true with you. That
smile changes your face. Makes you less sex kitten and more angel."
"I'm no angel."
"What a relief. I don't like good girls." "I didn't say I was bad."
Vaughn sucked at his lower lip and sized me up with those eyes. "You
didn't have to, kitten." "Don't call me that."
"Sugar?" he said, grinning brighter now. "Your sister didn't like my
nickname for her either."
"Why would you give my sister a nickname?"
"Don't be jealous. I like giving girls nicknames. Even girls I don't want
to spend time inside."
"I can't believe those lines ever work."
"They don't. Girls are drawn to my looks, not my personality."
Snorting, I begged myself to stop smiling. "And you're proud of
this fact?"
"I'm proud of very little, pumpkin." "Keep trying."
When Vaughn spotted someone and his smile faded, I followed his
gaze to Beavis and Butthead.
"You're insecure," I said, kicking his foot lightly. "I find that sexy in a
guy. Too bad I'm abstaining."
Vaughn finally returned his gaze to me where it mellowed. "Why
abstain exactly?"
"I told you."
"If these past guys were losers, seems like you could just abstain from
relationships. Why abstain from fucking? You frigid?"

"Yes, very much so."
"I sense that about you," he said, giving me a sly grin. "Betcha couldn't
handle a guy like me."
"Reverse psychology. Really? I expected more from you." "I do what I
need to."
"Fuck another girl. There are a few hot ones in the corner." "Saw them
then I saw you. Now, I can't look away." "Barf."
Vaughn laughed a genuine laugh. No games or come-ons. I'd actually
made the guy giggle like a bitch.
"You're really abstaining? Even from a chance to enjoy all this?" he
asked, waving his hands around to show off his strong chest and hard
stomach. "I'm the real deal. Not wearing a girdle to hold in the gut or
anything."
Vaughn lifted his tee to show off his stomach and I nodded my
approval.
"Nice, but I' m abstaining."
"Why from the sex? Do you think you can't screw a guy without falling
in love? Are you that weak?"
"Stop playing your Jedi mind games on me."
"Jedi?" he asked, giving me a frown. "Wait, are you a nerd?"
"No, but I assumed you were. There's an arrested development vibe
about you. Like you play a lot of video games and get horny for Lt.
Uhura."
"Oh, hell, you are a Star Trek nerd."
"No," I said, taking a gulp of beer. "I had a stepdad who was into that
crap. He had all these nerd friends who came over and they'd talk about
the show as if it was super cool. The only time I found Star Trek even
remotely interesting was when they had the episode on Futurama about
it."
"Sure, nerd."
"I like that nickname. Stick with it." "I' m not sure you really fit the
nerd stereotype." "And you don't fit the manwhore stereotype. For one
thing, your pick up lines are awful."

When Vaughn laughed again, he seemed different. Less like an animal
on the prowl and more like a guy chatting up another member of the
crew. I didn't buy it though. The guy wanted in my panties. I wanted
him in them too. Sitting there drinking our beers, I wondered how he
would make it happen when I was sticking with my abstinence plan.
The stress of wanting what I couldn't have made me crave something
else I couldn't enjoy. Reaching into my bag, I found my nicotine gum
and popped a piece into my mouth.
"Not going to offer?" he asked, tapping my foot in his weird attempt at
foreplay.
"It's Nicorette."
"I gave up smoking years ago."
Rolling my eyes, I kicked his foot away. "How long could you have
smoked if you gave it up years ago?"
"I was a pack a day smoker for four months. The best quarter of a year
of my life."
"Idiot," I said, grinning at him.
"Giving up smoking and fucking at the same time. Do you have a
reason to punish yourself like that?" "I'm a horrible person."
"I can see that. Look at how you're breaking my heart over here."
Bursting into laughter, I begged, "Please, fucking stop. Your shitty
lines are making me want to smoke more."
"Because they make you so horny?" he asked, already laughing before
he finished. "I know they're making me pretty hard."
"What's your game plan here, stud? Harass me until I fuck you? I think
I'd rather just nail you in the balls and make a run for it."
"Sex is relaxing, you know?" he said, grinning in his devious
manwhore way.
"I know."
"Why not just fuck someone and stay away from the crappy
relationship stuff? It's what I do."
"How do I know I won't blow your mind and you'll become a clingy
bitch?"
"I think I'll be fine."

"Can't trust it."
Vaughn leaned back in the booth and sized me up. While we enjoyed
our beers and he devised a new game plan to get me naked, I admired
everything I would have access to if we made it to bed. Those wide
shoulders, strong chest, full lips, I wanted them all.
Hanging from a silver chain around his neck, a dagger shined in the
light of the bar. I swore the damn thing was winking at me, so I looked
away and focused on his hands. Quickly, I imagined his strong fingers
exploring my body. Heat rushed over my body and nuzzled the spot
between my legs. Even pretending I was unimpressed, I wanted
Vaughn to win this battle.
"Look, you and I are in the same boat," he said softly. "We're loners in
the crew. Unlike Bailey, we don't want to hook-up for good. We just
want to let off some steam. We could be friends with benefits."
"Fuck buddies, huh?"
"I like your term better," Vaughn said, giving a flash of anger at the
men still eyeing us. "I might need to leave you, so I can kick their
asses." "I think I can manage without you." "Was that a masturbation
hint?"
"No, but you bring up a very good point. I could blow off steam on my
own."
Vaughn finished his beer then smiled. "I'll give you oral. No vibrator in
the world can say the same."
Holding his gaze, I was silent until finishing my beer. Finally, I gave
Vaughn a smile and nodded.
"One night of empty awesome sex. Tomorrow, we act like
acquaintances, not even friends. I want to be someone you barely
remember exists."
"No problem, gingersnap. Do you like Harleys? Mine really likes
snuggling between a hot girl's thighs?"
"Stop while you're ahead."
Standing up, Vaughn held out a hand. I ignored his gesture and stood
up on my own. When I noticed the two guys still watching us, I flipped
them off before taking Vaughn's arm.
"Like they ever had a chance," I muttered and Vaughn's smile

grew.
"Takes a special man to talk a girl out of abstinence." "Whatever you
need to tell yourself."
As we arrived at his black Harley, I admitted it looked pretty fucking
sexy. He'd make it sexier when he wrapped his strong legs over...
As if sensing my brain was already in horny overdrive, Vaughn leaned
down and kissed me. Just a gentle peck lacking any heat. I frowned at
him as he climbed on the motorcycle.
"That's it?" I asked, not climbing on.
As the Harley roared to life, Vaughn laced his fingers through my hair
and tugged me closer for another kiss. This one was deeper as his
tongue explored mine. With Vaughn tasting like beer and smelling like
chocolate, I nearly orgasmed right there. Instead, I climbed on and
imagined him naked under me.
I only had myself to blame for our inability to get to bed before my
panties came off. During the ride to his place, I couldn't keep my hands
off of him. Vaughn smelled so good and his skin was perfection under
my fingertips. I'd never been any good at restraining myself when
aroused like I was with him. My hands slid under his shirt, exploring
hot flesh. I caressed the thick hair on his chest before moving to his
thighs.
Vaughn was the epitome of a MC enforcer, never showing the least bit
of arousal besides his erection. He never glanced back, made a sound,
or wavered while driving. Vaughn was the focused stud all the way to
his place. As soon as we arrived and I slid off the Harley, his fingers
were in my hair. He kissed me like a man possessed. Once Vaughn
climbed off his bike, I climbed on him.
He carried me inside that way. In the elevator, he pressed the button
without releasing my lips. We were locked together while I rubbed my
hips against his, searching for relief our clothes wouldn't allow.
Vaughn tasted so good that I refused to stop kissing him. Somehow, he
managed to unlock his door while tangled with me. He stumbled inside
the apartment, shoved the door closed, flipped on a light, and pressed
me against the wall.

"Fuck," he muttered against my neck before sucking the flesh between
his teeth.
"Fuck is right. Now, harder, better. Don't stop."
Maybe Vaughn laughed, but I couldn't hear him over my moans. After
the bastard no doubt left a big fat hickey on my neck, he lowered me to
the ground. Even barely able to stand, I tried to re-climb him.
Instead, Vaughn yanked up my shirt and lowered his lips to my chest.
Realizing he was getting acquainted, I squirmed under the heat of his
tongue on my skin. Wanting more, I tugged his hair loose and ran my
fingers through the blond strands.
Vaughn nipped at my waist then shoved up my bra and latched on like
he wanted me to wake the neighbors. Crying out as he sucked then bit
at my nipples, I was so close to shoving my fingers into my shorts and
giving myself relief. The fucker was too sexy and I wanted to see, taste,
and know every inch of him.
Suddenly, he looked up at me and demanded, "Say my name."
My pride wouldn't allow me to submit, so I mumbled, "What was it
again? Vinnie? Vance? Something with a V, right?"
His response was to pop the button on my shorts and tug them down to
my ankles. I kicked them off along with my sandals then struggled to
act unimpressed. Vaughn grinned in a way that made me a little
nervous about what happened next. He likely sensed my fear because
his grin widened.
A kneeling Vaughn licked his lips then focused on the part of my body
wanting him more than any other.
"You'll remember my name soon enough," he promised, lifting my leg
and resting it over his shoulder.
Even though I wanted desperately to reply in a smartass way, his hot
breath on my pussy made words a memory. The first lick sent me into a
near brain-dead stupor. When he sucked at my clit, I would have
toppled over if he didn't hold me still.
While unable to speak, I still made noises I would laugh about the next
day. At the mercy of Vaughn's hungry lips, I was in a state of heat like
I'd never known before.
I came quickly, yet Vaughn didn't relent. Sucking steadily, he sent

me over the edge again, stealing my ability to stand. By the time he
stood in an easy movement and lifted me onto his hips, I was his slave.
"Say it," he whispered in my ear while kicking off his jeans.
"Vaughn Fucking Majors."
A smirking Vaughn wrapped me into his arms and thrust hard inside
my body. Resting my forehead against his shoulder, I tightened my legs
around his hips and held on as he fucked me so hard I begged him to
never leave. No man should have such power over me, yet there we
were.

Chapter Four - Vaughn
For a guy like me, chicks often blurred together. On a few occasions, I
unknowingly banged the same girl and nearly found myself in a
relationship. My lack of interest wasn't a slam on the chicks and their
qualities. No doubt many were amazing and would make another guy
fall to his knees and beg to worship her. I wasn't ever going to be that
guy. Dead men walking made no attachments.
Yet, I could get used to having Raven around. Carrying her to my bed, I
loved how she clung to me. Clearly unsatisfied, her pussy sucked at my
cock. Never truly losing my erection before she got me hard again, I
leaned her on the bed and kissed her hard. She sucked at my tongue
hungrily then bit my lip in a kind of challenge.
Pulling away, I frowned down at her. She frowned back and there was
definitely a challenge in her gaze. Was I still the guy who made her say
my name or had I gone romantic on her? Even knowing the answer,
Raven insisted I prove it again.
Shoving deeper into her, I held her gaze then grinned. "What's your
favorite movie?"
"None of your business."
"Tell me."
"I hate movies," she moaned, tightening around me. "I hate them more
than I hate you."
Laughing, I slid out of her and relaxed on the bed. "Your hate makes
my cock sad."
Now, Raven laughed as she climbed on me. "What's your favorite
movie?"
"Old Yeller."
Laughing again, Raven scratched at my chest before guiding my very
grateful dick back inside her.
"Tell me your favorite movie," I demanded, pinching her nipples.
"Submit to my power over you."
Raven laughed so hard she snorted which made me lose my fake glare.
Smiling up at her, I loved how her blonde hair was like a curtain

around her face. When she leaned down, Raven kissed me softly then
playfully bit my lower lip.
"You're so fucking hot," she moaned, rolling her hips and making me
groan.
"I know," I muttered, taking her by the waist and encouraging her to
slow down.
Pushing away my hands, Raven gave me a smirk. "I'm on top. You
need to just lay there like a blowup doll while I enjoy you." "I could roll
you over." "You won't. I sense you're lazy."
Smiling, I clasped my hands behind my head and watched her. Raven' s
eyes were closed as she rode me fast before slowing down. She lifted
her hips high until I nearly left her then they came down hard. Next, she
made small movements with her hips while tightening around me. As if
she was experimenting and I was simply attached to what interested
her.
"Are you having fun?" I asked when her eyes remained closed for too
long.
"I've missed fucking and your cock is..." Raven didn't finish. Instead,
she found a perfect rhythm and I was the one who couldn't speak for the
next few minutes. Her fingers went between her legs and I felt her
stroking her clit. It wasn't long before I felt almost unnecessary. Hell,
should I be offended to be a piece of meat when it was my idea to fuck
without strings attached?
Just to prove she knew I was there, Raven moaned my name as she
orgasmed hard. Her hot pussy clenched around me just right and I came
too. My hands returned to her hips and I guided her so the waves of
pleasure were just right. My eyes were closed as I soaked in all she
gave me. When I opened them, Raven was grinning at me.
"Having a fuck buddy is fun," she said, leaning down to kiss me.
This time, she didn't bit my lip. There was something soft and sweet
about her expression too. Her hands teased my chest hair while her
pussy gently sucked at my cock.
"Abstaining was a great idea in theory," she whispered, nuzzling my
neck. "In reality, I needed a hot guy to hump. I'm so glad you

showed up with your shitty pick up lines and sexy bod."
"You want me too much to be healthy," I teased, hard again from her
teasing. "It's a sickness."
"I'll bore of you soon. Don't worry."
"Why won't you tell me your favorite movie?"
"Why do you want to know?"
"Because you won't tell me."
Raven grinned. "Is Old Yeller really your favorite movie?" "No. Tell
me yours and I'll tell you mine."
"I' m not that interested," she said, sliding off me and leaving my
hard-on grumpy.
"Are you leaving?"
"Do you want me to?" she asked, a challenge in her voice as she rested
on her back and stared at the ceiling.
Instead of verbalizing my answer, I placed her hand on my cock.
"Oh, you're still horny, huh?" she teased, grinning now. "Well, I don' t
know what to tell you. I' m fucked out."
"Really?" I asked, licking her hard nipple. "You sure wore out fast. I
must be too much man for you."
"I guess," she said, running her fingers through my hair. "Or maybe I'm
already bored."
"Let me see if I can rekindle your interest, cheeky," I said, exploring
her soft skin.
Raven watched me lick and nibble at her flesh. When I looked up at her
and our gazes met, there was something too perfect about the
expression in her fair blue eyes. A smile lingered on her lips and I
couldn't help myself. Kissing her gently, I wanted her to feel beautiful
and protected. Raven Hancock should feel like a princess in the arms of
her prince. Mostly, I hungered to learn everything there was to know
about the blonde goddess underneath me.
Exploring her body, I discovered a Tinker Bell tattoo on her back, just
above her left shoulder blade. The fairy sat on a sparkling purple
mushroom with a pink butterfly resting on her knee and a blue one
flying up into the clouds. So detailed it nearly seemed real, I sensed the
tat was done by Aaron. Few guys were capable of creating such
emotion in a

cartoon character's expression.
Around midnight, I discovered another interesting fact about her.
While Raven didn' t mind getting rough during sex, she was
considerably less cool with anything rough when no longer aroused.
As she crawled past me on the bed to tug off my remaining sock, I
playfully slapped her ass. Raven immediately swung around and
slapped me across the face.
"Don't ever hit me," she hissed.
Rubbing my face, I realized she was seriously ready to claw my face
off. I found this overreaction oddly endearing. "I was playing," I told
her. "No man will hit me. I'm no one's bitch." "Playing," I said, leaning
back on the dark silky sheets. "I refuse to be dominated."
Giving her a grin, I reached out and caressed the hand that hit me. "Is
that your way of saying you want to be on top again? Have at it, Dixie
cup. I'm ready for another round."
Raven glared at me for a long time. Eventually, a smile slid across her
face. "Fuck that. I' m tired. You serve me."
"What makes you think I want to be dominated?"
"You have a look about you," she said, tugging off the sock that
survived hours of naked play. "I just sense you're a natural submissive."
We were both laughing when my lips met hers. As Raven's arms
wrapped around me, she squirmed around until comfortably on the
bottom. Soon, her legs tightened around my hips.
"Serve me, hot stuff," she murmured.
"At your command, cookie."
Raven' s smile was like magic and I could get used it. An hour later, she
fell asleep with that smile on her gorgeous face.
All of the angry energy clinging to Raven disappeared when she slept.
She rested on her back with her hands up by her shoulders. When the
early morning light lit up her hair splashed around her face, there was
something terribly vulnerable about Raven. The best fuck of my life
looked like an angel, yet I suspected she was sent by the devil.
A man like me should never wake up completely satisfied. He

should never look at the one night stand next to him and want to cuddle
up against her. Raven wasn't the first beautiful woman I enjoyed and
she wouldn't be the last. I promised myself she was only a great fuck
and I could let her fuck someone else.
Lies were my friends. I told them daily. Death wasn't something to fear.
Regrets never lingered in my thoughts. I was a man without a past or
future and I was fine with this fact. I was alone which suited me. Wasn't
I born a loner? Wasn't I happy with my life? Of course, I was. Lies kept
me sane when the truth only kicked me in the balls.
Raven didn' t lie to herself. She accepted her flaws then tried to fight
them. Her biggest flaw was her bad taste in men. I didn't know the guys
who fucked her over. Lark mentioned a few and they sounded like real
losers. As I ran a finger across Raven's perpetually pouty lips, I didn' t
understand why she wasted her time with such idiots. She was
gorgeous and strong. She could have anyone. Fortunately for me, she
had bad taste and ended up in my bed despite her better judgment.
I didn't usually bring chicks to my apartment. If things went sour or she
got clingy, ditching a girl was easier when she was already home.
When I did the fake dating thing, I might bring one to my place. It was
all for show since I knew I wasn't boyfriend material. Even if I didn't
have a death sentence hanging over my head, I was a jackass. Maybe
I'd always been a jackass, but my shit definitely got worse these last
few years in Ellsberg.
In a lying mood, I admired Raven and wondered if I could make a
short-term relationship with a girl like her. She was messed up and
already knew how to deal with a broken heart. If we were together and
I fucked up or got killed, she'd just cry and move on. Well, maybe not
cry. Raven didn't seem like a chick who cried.
I' d never seen anyone wake up the way Raven did when I rubbed her
lips again.
Hands in fists, she swung at the air, too asleep to know where the threat
might be. I watched Raven scramble to the end of the bed. Her hands
touched between her legs then she eyed me like maybe I'd taken
advantage of her and she might need to kill me now. The whole thing
was fascinating and I couldn't take my eyes off her.

"Good morning."
"Fuck you," she growled, still confused. "I wore you out, huh?"
Raven' s angry panicked eyes narrowing, she glared at me. "If anyone
was worn out, it was you. I'm surprised I didn't break your
dick."
"Who said you didn't?" I said, causing her to smirk. "I might need a
little cast for it."
Raven finally smiled for real. "It wouldn't be the first time." "We could
test it out," I said, wiggling my eyebrows. "I need to leave." "It's barely
six." "Sleeping over is a mistake."
"True," I said, tossing aside the sheets to show how a little cast wasn't
in my future. "Of course, I don't know if walking will be an option after
I' m done with you. Better for you to go while you can still move."
"What's your plan exactly?" she asked, wrapping her hair into a messy
ponytail. "Bait me into fucking you into submission? What makes you
think I'm not bored of you already?"
"Your nipples are pointing at me. They're giving you a hint, I
think."
"Nipples do that in the cold. Your dick is the one begging for me to give
a shit. Admit it, you want it more." "I want it more."
Raven' s cocky expression eased into a rather sweet smile. "I admire
your honesty, Vaughn."
As she crawled over to me, I sighed. "I love when you say my name."
Raven stopped and glared at me. "I should clean up and go." "Don't
make me beg."
"You would, wouldn't you? Pathetic," she hissed, her eyes sparkling
with amusement. "Poor little guy."
I pinched her left nipple. Gently though, so not to piss her off. Mostly, I
wanted to show how her teasing was only prolonging the

inevitable.
"Morning breath is gross," she said, crawling over me and giving a lick
to my wolf howling at the moon tattoo on my chest. "You look horrible
in the morning. I don't like you at all."
"I think you're awful too," I said, sucking at her bottom lip. "Good thing
we're just fuck buddies because spending too much time with you
would make me puke."
Reassured by my words, Raven relaxed against me. As her chilled skin
warmed, I swear I saw her eyes warming too. Hell, if I wouldn't want to
see that look every day of my life.
"After I break your dick, I' m leaving," she whispered into my ear
before giving the lobe a nip.
Smacking her ass lightly, I took her jaw and forced her gaze back on
mine. "I drove us, so are you planning to walk back to your car?"
"No, asshole," she whispered, stroking my cock just right before
caressing her pussy with the head. "I'll just steal your fucking bike. You
left your keys in your jeans. I believe they're somewhere near the front
door."
"Fuck," I groaned as she teased me by sliding my cock inside her an
inch then pulling away. "Steal it. I don't care."
"I wasn't asking for your permission, but thanks, lover," she said,
pressing downward and taking me in one hard thrust. "I'm glad I didn't
break it last night."
"You and me both," I whispered, running my fingers down her slim
shoulders.
A good hard fuck later, she stared at me in a sleepy way. Raven needed
more rest after all our fun. I know I sure as hell did.
"My dick needs a nap," I told her while brushing hair away from her
face.
"I should go."
Resting on my back, I sighed. "I need a nap too." "After we sleep, you'll
drive me to my car, so I can go home?" she muttered with her eyes half
closed.
"No, we'll get something to eat then I'll take you to Jodi's for your
car."

"Getting something to eat sounds like a date and I'm not dating
anyone," she said, forcing her eyes open.
"It's not a date, crabapple. We're friends with benefits. We've done the
benefits. Now, let's do the friend crap."
"I don't want to be your friend," she said, cuddling up against my
arm.
Smirking, I pulled a sheet over us. "Of course, you do. I'm awesome."
"I don't want to eat with you."
"You need to keep your strength up, Raven, because I'm really looking
forward to fucking you at your place. Doing a chick in more than one
location is my thing."
A grinning Raven nuzzled the "Hungry Like a Wolf" tattoo on my
shoulder. "You're an idiot."
"Fuck you, darling. I' m the Einstein of the Reapers. Now, shut up and
go to sleep."
Once again, Raven dozed off with a smile on her face. I followed her
into sleep and woke hours later to find her in the shower. The little bitch
tried teasing me with a sexy dance before attempting an escape when I
needed relief. Catching her, I pulled Raven under the water where she
struggled lamely until giving up and climbing me.
"I want to say no," she murmured as I filled her. "Make you suffer and
beg, but you look too damn sexy wet. I can't help myself."
"I don't blame you," I whispered in her ear. "I've seen myself
wet."
Raven laughed and held on as I fucked her hard. She got so loud that I
didn't want to stop. The sounds of her moans were like music and my
name on her lips was like applause. Holding her as we caught our
breath, I told myself I was simply in lust with her hot body and
feistiness. Unfortunately, I was curious about the rest of her too. The
dressed Raven interested me more than I should ever allow.
Wearing my tee over her shorts, she studied the sink counter. "You
smell like chocolate."
I handed her the Axe spray. "It brings all the girls to the yard."
Raven laughed again while spraying herself. Her voice had a rough

quality like a ballsy truck stop waitress. Maybe it was the cigarettes,
but I suspected she always sounded that way. The toughness of her
voice and attitude fought against the face of an angel.
When she was relaxed, Raven was the picture of innocence. When she
was feisty, she was sex kitten personified. When she was angry, I
worried she would neuter me. Raven was a winning combination.
"What's with all the wolf tats?" she asked, tracing the one on my back.
"Wait, is there a sob story behind them because I'm not really interested
in pitying you."
Glancing over my shoulder at her, I smirked. "Lone wolf, daisy. My
wolves are always alone."
"And the skulls and grim reaper tats are because you're a bad ass, I take
it," she said, now examining the Reapers Motorcycle Club tattoo. "This
was once a Devils tat, right? Aaron said it was a bitch to cover
up."
"Yeah."
Raven likely heard my dark tone because she stopped messing with my
tattoos and focused on the line of hair from my belly button to where I
quickly got hard. If she hoped to distract my bad mood with another
round of sex, she was successful.
Finally dressed and out the door, I was ready to eat a big lunch and
enjoy Raven at her place. The whole scenario of following her from the
bar to the Johansson property was set in my head. All I needed to do
was keep Raven from getting any ideas about returning to abstinence.
We walked to the underground garage where my bikes and truck were
parked.
"Here's my hog," I said, gesturing at the mint black Harley. "You might
remember it from the time it was between your legs." Raven shrugged.
"I've seen bigger."
Laughing, I kissed the top of her head. "You are such a little liar,
peaches."
"Stop with the nicknames."
"I'll find one that fits you then you'll have it tatted on your ass and the
world will applaud. Just you wait, dumpling."
Raven tried to act offended, but she was in a good mood and her

smiles came easily. Climbing on the Harley, she sighed.
"Lark warned me about you," she said, resting her cheek against my
back. "Said you were charming and funny. She's right. You are funny.
The charming crap might be a figment of her imagination brought on
from all those pregger hormones."
Glancing back at her, I grinned. "Hey, sugar, if you want charming, I'll
charm the shit out of you. First, we eat."
Raven tightened her grip around me as I started the Harley. During the
ride to Denny' s, my mind wandered. The last twelve hours had
changed me somehow. From watching Raven fighting to finding her at
the bar to taking her home and now with her wrapped around me, I was
different. I didn't like different.
When we arrived, I decided to put a stop to the lies I was telling myself
about Raven. Instead of showing her how I felt, I was cold. I didn' t
open the door for her or wait for her to walk with me to the table. As I
looked over the menu, I pretended Raven wasn't sitting feet from me
with a frown plastered on her face.
We ordered then I stared out of the window. Raven sighed, took out her
phone, and ignored me. Now, I was irritated to have her focus off me.
"You're being rude," I told her.
Lifting her gaze to mine, Raven smiled slowly. It was a predator's smile
and I found myself turned on.
"If I don't pay attention, will you cry?" she asked.
I smirked. "Maybe. Are you willing to risk it?"
"No skin off my ass if you embarrass yourself."
"Cheater," I said, leaning back. "Talking about your ass to win an
argument is bullshit."
Raven's smile faded. "You suck."
"True. Just long enough to make you scream."
"Don't act cute now. If you want to treat me like shit, that's your right. I
can give as good as I get."
"Are we talking about fucking again?"
Raven' s expression ended my smile. In that moment, I remembered
why she was abstaining. She had bad luck with men. They jerked her

around and I was doing it now. When faced with their bullshit, she
walked away and shut down her feelings. I was risking the same thing.
Unwilling to end our new fuck buddies arrangement, I sighed.
"I'm sorry. I'm not used to this morning after chatting stuff."
"Then, why did you want to chat?"
"You're the first chick I've banged that was in the crew."
"Banged?" Raven said, grinning. "Now, that's the lack of romance I
was looking for from our relationship."
"I don't want you getting clingy," I said, throwing the blame on
her.
Raven reacted just as I expected with a middle finger in my direction.
Grinning, I took her hand and stroked the bruised fingers. "Why the
Thunderdome?"
"I have only a few skills and I've already tried stripping."
"You were a stripper?" I asked, lifting an eyebrow and remembering
her dance in the shower earlier. "Like with lap dances?"
Raven yanked her hand away. "Don't judge me."
"I'm not," I said, kicking her foot under the table. "Don't be so
sensitive."
"People think strippers are all whores and that's bullshit. I mean, I'm a
little bit of a whore and most of the girls I knew were too, but some
weren't. It's a fucked up stereotype."
"Maybe the non-whores were the exceptions to the rule?"
"Eat shit, jackass."
"You're sure protective of those non-whore strippers." Raven smiled a
bit. "One of them was really sweet. She was taking care of her sick
mom. You shouldn't assume anything about people." "You assumed I
was an asshole."
"I didn't assume shit. I knew you were an asshole. Everyone told me
you were and they weren't wrong."
Laughing, I took her hand back in mine. "I don't like seeing someone as
hot as you bruised up, but I don't judge you fighting for money. We all
do what we can. Look at me and my work. Not exactly a dream job, but
I'm big, strong, and don't mind hurting people. Not a lot of jobs for a
guy with my skill set. I was never good at school. I hate

computers and have no patience with fixing things. I had the choice of
being an enforcer or a gigolo."
Raven smacked my hand away. "Stop being charming, you
dipshit."
"I'll try, but it just comes so naturally for me."
"Why not a gigolo?"
"I'm too shy."
Raven laughed. "That's too bad. I'd pay to fuck you." "Of course, you
would. I'd totally pay to have you give me a lap dance."
"You couldn't afford me."
"I don't know. I've been saving up for something special. This could be
it."
Resting her arms on the table then her head against them, Raven smiled
at me. "You're such a pompous ass. Normally, I'd hate that, but I find it
endearing in you. I guess it's the friends crap."
"Probably," I said, stroking her lips with my finger. "How long do you
think you'll fight at the Thunderdome?"
"Until they outlaw walkers in the cage."
"That long, huh?"
"If I keep getting my ass kicked, I'll need a walker by twenty five. You
fucking me will probably speed up the process."
"It's true. What I lack in creativity, I make up for by being a vigorous
fucker."
As Raven studied me with a heavenly expression, I was overwhelmed
with the urge to hold her. I also had the urge to keep my balls out of her
purse. It was a tough call, but my ass remained on my side of the table.
"So what happens now?" she asked when our food arrived. "Do we call
each other when we're horny then hook up and go our separate
ways?"
"I'd need to keep you on speed dial."
"Like do we hook up on weekends or what? Or do we just act like
friends now?"
"Why act? Are you saying you don't like me?"

Raven grinned. "Don't force me to make you cry here, Vaughn." "Man,
I love when you say my name," I murmured. "I prefer when you scream
it. Either way, it sounds great in your voice." "My truck stop waitress
voice?" "Your Demi Moore voice. It's sexy." "Imagine my voice on a
kid. Just weird." "Probably, but you're not a kid anymore." "True."
"So you grew up here in Ellsberg?"
"Off and on. My mom was always chasing some loser. Sometimes, the
loser left the state trying to outrun her."
Raven' s mom was a bitch. While Lark never said so, Bailey did often
and loudly. I knew the stepdad was a fucker too and I'd enjoyed stealing
his prized antique car and watching Aaron trash "Gloria."
"You're Cooper's age. Did you two ever hook up in high school?"
"Would you cry if I said yes?"
Rolling my eyes, I felt the heat of jealousy in my gut. I didn't expect
Raven to be a virgin. In fact, I was thrilled she wasn't since I was too
lazy to train chicks. I might not care that she'd fucked guys before, but I
didn' t want those guys to be my boss or friends.
"I had boyfriends in high school and I don't cheat. Cooper was hot, but
he wanted a bang and hang chick. I wanted to fall in love and have a
man save me."
"Save you from what?" I asked in a low tense voice, imagining the
horrors of shitty stepdads and their wandering eyes.
"I don't know," Raven said and I believed her. "I don't like having
anyone tell me what to do and I feel strong enough to survive on my
own. Still, I wanted to be the damsel saved by my knight. It was stupid,
but I kept thinking each guy was the one to make me happy. I'd latch on
and they'd suck and I'd ignore it. They say love makes people blind, but
I think it's just desperation. I was desperate to be in love, so I was blind
to anything that might interfere with my fantasy."
"What changed?"
"I realized love is overrated." "It really is."

Raven smiled in a soft way that made me want to touch her. I thought
about reaching out and caressing her cheek. Just a minor gesture of
affection, but I sensed she would know it meant more. Raven would
rebel at the idea of true intimacy. Then, I would rebel at her telling me I
was whipped. It wouldn' t end well, so I kept my hands to myself.
"I love Lark and I'm going to love her babies. One day, I'll love Aaron.
He'll be like a brother. For now, he's the guy I'm waiting to fail
her."
"Aaron's a good guy."
"I know. It's not him that makes me worry. It's every man before him.
Aaron is great and Lark smiles so much when he's around. Not that fake
smiling shit either. She really smiles. She laughs too. A lot. Even as
sick as she is lately, she'll laugh at these looks he gives her. That kind of
love feels weird to me. Feels like a lie, but Lark isn't a fool and I trust in
her and Aaron."
"It isn't easy being on the outside," I admitted. "Judd and I were tight.
We spent a shitload of time together. Not talking or having feelings, but
I had someone to sit next to me and drink beer with. We played pool
every night and had sex with different chicks every night and woke up
alone every morning. We were the same. Now, he's whipped and
Tawny walks around with his balls in her purse. I asked once if we
could take his balls out occasionally and let them breathe, but she just
laughed. Tawny's sneaky that way."
A giggling Raven reached across the table and caressed my hand. Even
though I sensed she was fucking with me, I enjoyed the feel of her.
"I'd ask why you don't want to be whipped, but I sense there's a long
heartfelt story behind it and I'll feel sorry for you and I'm not really in
the mood to feel pity. Maybe after a few more orgasms, I can fake
sympathy. We're just not there yet, champ."
"I like that nickname," I said, taking her hand between mine. "Stud
works too. King Cock is another favorite."
"How about Cock-A-Doodle-Doo?
"Too cartoony. I need something manlier. Cockinator."
Laughing, Raven yanked her hand away. "How about Robo Cock or
White Cock Down? Ooh, Cockageddon."

"Independence Cock," I suggested, laughing as I drank my juice. "Cock
Hard or Cocky. You know the third one where Cocky goes to Russia."
Raven snorted. "Cocks on a Plane. No, Planet of the Cocks."
"Kindergarten Cock," I said and Raven balked. "Did I take that too
far?"
"Perv. Oh, how about World War C?"
"Too subtle."
"Iron Cock or Cock of Steel. You know, if you're interested in the
superhero route."
"Star Trek and superheroes. I sense the nerd is strong in this one."
"Fuck off. I saw the videogames at your stag shack."
"Wanna come over and play sometime?" I asked, giving her a wink.
"Then, after we're done playing, we can do that videogame thing you
mentioned."
"Hang out time like you shared with Judd?"
Expression hardening, I glared at her. "I never fucked Judd."
"Why? He's hot."
Unable to keep up the façade, I laughed. "He's a pretty fucker, ain't
he?"
"Oh, yeah," she sighed and I stopped laughing. Raven noticed and it
was her turn to laugh. "He's got those beautiful eyes." "They're beady
rat eyes." "He's so strong." "Puny girly man."
Raven licked her lips. "I bet he hung too."
I showed her my pinkie finger. "He's barely this big when hard."
"And how do you know that if you two never fucked?"
"Fine, we fucked, but we were pretty drunk and he is really pretty."
Raven nearly fell off her chair laughing. I felt intensely proud to make
her lose her cool so thoroughly. After calming down, Raven threw up
her hand and I high fived her.
"You win," she said, catching her breath. "I'll play videogames at your
place after fucking your brains out. Make you forget all about sexy
Judd."

I loved how pink her cheeks were from laughing. They were different
than when we fucked. Raven seemed less guarded now and the way she
looked at me put all of my worries back into overdrive.
"Don't fall in love with me," I warned, finishing my drink. "I know I'm
charming and every girl's dream, but I'm in no position to be your Cock
in Shining Armor."
"Don't worry about it, Raiders of the Lost Cock."
Laughing, I hoped she kept her word. Deep inside, I got the impression
if Raven ever focused all of her power on me that I'd beg to have my
balls in her purse.
"I' m tired," she said, stretching. "After you nail me at my place, feel
free to get the hell out so I can sleep."
"Well, gee, you're making me feel like a piece of meat."
Raven smiled softly. "I like when you pretend to have feelings. It's
really sexy."
"What was your last man like? Did he have feelings?" Raven's smile
faded. "He was a turd. They're all turds because that's my type. I'm
drawn to losers."
"You're drawn to me and I'm not a loser."
Smirking, Raven nodded. "Why do you say things like that if you don' t
want me to make you cry?"
"Who says I don't? If my feelings turn you on, I'm all for faking what
needs to be faked to get you wet."
"Just take off your clothes and let me ravage you. No feelings
necessary to get me wet."
"You can't know how hard I got when you said ravage."
Raven studied my face. "I would caress you with my foot, but I worry I
might crush your balls instead."
"Man, if you keep sweet-talking me like this, I won't be able to wait
until we get you home. I'll just do you in the bushes."
Raven gave me a big smile. "Every time I worry you'll get all weak and
clingy, you say something so unromantic and I immediately like you
more. You're the best fuck buddy ever."
"Shit," I muttered, reaching for my wallet. "I need to get you naked
soon before my dick instigates a revolt in my pants."

"Hallmark called," she said, giving me her bitchy girl face, "and they
want their romantic drivel back."
Standing up, I pulled her out of her chair and sucked on her neck until
she lost the superior expression on her sexy face. Relaxing into my
embrace, she moaned my name quietly and I finally relented. I stared
down into her faded blue eyes and smiled.
"I may never own your heart, plum, but I've paid for your pussy in
full."
Raven burst into laughter then pulled out her phone. I watched her text
something then hit send.
"I know Lark's been in the dumps lately and that's totally going to give
her a good laugh."
"Sounded better in my head."
Raven patted my cheek. "Dumbass. Fortunately, I like my friends
stupid. It helps me fit in." "Thanks, pancake."
"Keep trying, nutless. I'm going to pee while you pay." "I thought this
wasn't a date."
"It's not," she said, walking away. "I mooch off my friends too."
I paid the check and left a nice tip for the waitress who had to endure all
of our cock talk through the meal. While I considered waiting for
Raven, that seemed like a boyfriend move. Instead, I walked outside
and stared at the late morning sky.
A Harley woke me from my horny thoughts and I noticed Reaper Scott
Clark arriving with a small girl on the back of his bike. I was no Mister
Law and Order by any means, but even I knew the kid could fall off in
traffic and die. Guys around Ellsberg thought they were tough shit
having their princesses riding on their Harleys. They figured as long as
she was wearing a helmet that a three year old should be fine.
Rolling my eyes as the thought process of the guys in my motorcycle
club, I felt Raven exiting the restaurant. She pushed past me and
walked towards my Harley. I assumed she was pissed because I hadn' t
hung back like her bitch.
"What?" I asked, knowing the answer.
"I want to go."

"Hey, Vaughn," Scott said, walking with his kid. "Raven." Turning
away from the guy, Raven stared at me. "I want to go home now."
"Sure," I said, giving a head nod to Scott who disappeared into the
restaurant.
Raven climbed on behind me and held on tight.
"Did you have a run-in with that fuck?" I asked, glancing back at her.
"Shit, don't tell me he's an old boyfriend."
Raven frowned at me. "That's my dad, you jackass."
Oddly relieved by this news, I hated to have been jealous. Man, were
my balls already in her purse? Had I not noticed when she removed
them? What was wrong with me?
Raven said nothing as we rode to the Johansson property outside of
Ellsberg. She didn't speak after we parked by Cooper's old apartment or
during the walk up the stairs. She ignored the Rottweilers running
around in the yard and the sounds of Sawyer squealing in the pool.
I tugged her to a stop once we were inside. "What's the deal? Did the
fucker hurt you as a kid?"
"He didn't do shit when I was a kid," Raven said, kicking off her
sandals. "He has a bunch of little girls around Kentucky from the many
women he's nailed. I suspect the fucker will keep trying until he makes
a
boy."
I walked to the fridge in the small kitchen for a drink. Finding beer and
fruit punch, my choice wasn't difficult. I brought a beer for Raven too
and joined her on the couch where I kicked off my boots.
"I didn't know your dad was a Reaper."
"Doesn't matter. He's never been a dad. I didn't even know he supplied
the sperm to make me until we moved back here and Mom hooked up
with her current turd. Larry said he didn't want biker trash as a
stepdaughter so I needed to disown Scott. I was like, 'Who the fuck is
Scott?' Suddenly, the asshole showed up and announced I was an adult
and he wasn't making a claim on me. It was stupid as shit and I was like
good riddance."
Raven struggled to sound angry, but I heard pain in her voice too.
"Then, a few months later, Scott saw me with my boyfriend Dex

and started telling us how to behave. Like we were goofing around and
Dex was stoned and Scott said we were embarrassing him. I should
have kicked his ass, but I worried he'd hurt Dex who could barely stand
because he was giggling so much."
Raven stopped speaking. She likely heard how stupid it all sounded and
was embarrassed. I knew how she felt when it came to a shitty family
and non-existent dad. Guys like Kirk who married his baby mama and
stayed faithful were rare. Most were like Scott with kids with several
chicks and a wife at home who was lucky to have him in her bed once a
week.
"I never knew my dad either," I said, drinking half my beer. "Could
have been a couple guys. My mom was club pussy then got run off after
she wouldn't have an abortion. She raised me half of the time. The other
half, I was with my granddad in West Virginia."
"Do you ever wonder about him?"
"No, I don't need to know his name and life story to know he was a
piece of shit. My mom was a dumb fuck, but she was young and
looking to belong somewhere. She's always wanted to belong. She does
now, but she knows her place. Anyway, having a dad sounds great
except when that dad is a fucker. Better to have nothing than a bastard
giving you shit all the time."
Looking a little lost, Raven nodded. "I've never let a man talk to me like
I let Scott do that day. He called me a whore in front of a bunch of
people and I didn't do anything. I should have, but I felt so weird to
have him act like I mattered enough for him to be disappointed in me. I
felt like I was a little kid wanting his approval except who the fuck is
he? Just some guy who fucked my mom. They weren't together. They
weren't anything and he was nothing to me. I don't even have his last
name. Mom gave Phoenix his shitty dad's last name and the guy had
tried to kill her. Anyway, Scott made me feel like a loser, but I let him."
"I'll kick his ass next time I see him," I said, giving her a smile even
though I had every intention of making Scott bleed.
Raven shook her head. "Whatever. I just don't like seeing him. I'm
embarrassed about that day. How I let him make me feel. When I see
him, even from afar, I feel like I'm back there. It's stupid and I left

Ellsberg thinking people like him were the problem. It's me though. I'm
the one who lets them mess with my head. I just need to stop being
stupid about it."
"Easier said than done."
"True, but I can't control assholes. I can only control me. If I make good
decisions, I can have a better life. I don't have to be like my mom,
begging for scraps of attention from a jerk. I can be free of that life."
"I'll never make you beg for anything more than orgasms."
Raven glanced at me and smiled. "You're very compassionate that
way."
"I really am. It's my curse."
Raven set her beer down. "I'm in a shitty mood and I want to smoke a
pack of cigarettes and drink until I barf. I'm not doing those things, but
I will fuck you until I can't feel my legs. As my fuck buddy, it's your
duty to help me."
"I take my fuck buddy responsibilities very seriously. Now, let's get
you naked, so I can start the healing."
Laughing, Raven jumped to her feet and ran for the bedroom. Any
awkwardness I might have felt about fucking in Cooper's old room, let
alone on his bed, ended when I saw the blonde goddess jumping around
naked on the mattress. The healing process had officially commenced.
Three hours later, we dozed off exhausted. Four hours later, I woke in a
fit of panic. Cuddled up with Raven, I was on my way to losing my
damn mind.
What was my plan anyway? Wait until she woke up then we'd go to
dinner. Maybe a movie or bowling. Then, we'd spend the night
together. By the end of the week, we'd be talking marriage and baby
carriages. I'd walk around with a stupid smile on my face, not at all
concerned about my missing balls. Or the death sentence hovering over
me.
No, I wasn't whipped yet. It wasn't too late to stop the downward spiral
into stupid. For Raven's sake as much as mine, I needed to pull away
and remember why they called me Outlaw. I belonged nowhere and to
no one. Despite everything Raven offered, nothing had changed. I was
a murderer with blood on my hands and a bounty on my head.

Raven was asleep when I slipped out of her place and drove away. I left
a text about hooking up with her as soon as my cock healed. Even
trying to keep it light, I knew she would be pissed. At least, that's what
I hoped.

Chapter Five - Raven
My sickness hadn't ended with a bout of abstinence. I was still drawn to
bad men who used then tossed me aside. The upside was this time I
hadn't lost my heart or mind. I'd simply lost my panties.
I couldn't find them anywhere.
After a shower, I retrieved a new pair like I could never find a new
heart. Friends with benefits. Fuck buddies. Whatever we called it was a
definite step in the right direction romance-wise. Too bad the idiot had
to be a jackass too.
Vaughn sent a short text about hitting me up soon. I wanted to hit him
up right then. A punch followed by more sex, but he was gone. At least,
he hadn't turned clingy because this arrangement worked for me.
As annoying as it was to have Vaughn ditch me while I slept, I felt
great. Didn't even have an urge for my Nicorette. I was hungry though
and the fridge was rather empty except for beer and juice.
The Johanssons had opened their home to me in a completely
unexpected way. During the years I spent in Ellsberg, I heard plenty of
things about this family. I knew they had the power to make
troublemakers disappear. When I was about to start second grade and
my mom left me and Lark in the car, I watched Kirk drag a man behind
a building.
Minutes later, he came out, but the man never did. I imagined all sorts
of things about what happened to the man, but I never told Lark. She
was reading a book and enjoying the fantasy world it provided. The real
world was ugly and the Johanssons were like beautiful monsters.
These days, they were a family who adopted me for no reason besides
my sister married their son's friend. Walking into the house, I found
Bailey sitting on the couch with Sawyer on the floor in front of her.
They were watching a wilderness men show while Bailey braided her
sister's wavy hair. Outside, Jodi was napping under an umbrella while
Kirk read off a Kindle next to her.
"Abstinence didn't work for you, huh? Bailey muttered, glaring at
me.

"How did you know? Do I smell? I asked, thinking I'd scrubbed in the
shower.
Sawyer grinned. "You got kissed by a vacuum cleaner."
Confused until Sawyer pointed at my neck, I remember the hickeys.
"Giving up the cigs is hard. I needed another release."
"Mom will stop smoking when she turns sixty," Sawyer said, braiding
her doll's hair like Bailey did hers. "She doesn't want to rush into the
decision."
Joining them on the couch, I asked even though I already knew the
answer. "Are you mad?"
Bailey exhaled hard. "Tell me it wasn't a big dumb blond loser with
long hair like a girl."
Sawyer giggled. "We should braid Vaughn's hair."
Smiling, I wanted to reassure Bailey. "It's not serious."
"Whore," she said, clearly not reassured. "Stupid whore."
"Uh-oh!" Sawyer cried. "She's going to kick your ass."
"No, I'm not. I'm too nice for that. I'm just going to hate Raven quietly
and occasionally call her a whore."
"And stupid," I said, giving her a small smile.
"Well, you are stupid."
"I'm sorry. I'm just not as strong as you."
Like someone flicked a switch, Bailey's face lit up. "I am very strong.
Determined."
"No punching, I guess," Sawyer said, looking at the TV. Bailey
wrapped a band at the end of Sawyer's braid. "All done." Standing up,
Sawyer felt the braid. "Thank you. I love you,
Bailey."
After the sisters hugged, Sawyer ran off to wherever she went when she
wasn't around.
"Farah trained Sawyer to be less evil," Bailey said, setting her feet on
the coffee table. "I should send my sister-in-law a fruit basket or
something."
"Are you mad?"
"No. Do you want to go swimming?" "Sure. I'm restless."

"Too much sex will do that."
Once in our bikinis, we grabbed leftover chicken and headed to the
pool. Stomachs full, we jumped in immediately because the Johanssons
didn' t believe in the thirty minute rule.
"What was it like fucking Vaughn? He seems like he'd be selfish in
bed."
"Vaughn is the best fuck I've ever had. Not that I've had a lot of really
great lovers or anything. Vaughn isn't sensitive in bed. He fucks hard
and fast. I like that though. He can also go and go. I like that too. Oh, he
is sensitive enough to go down on a chick. At least, he did with me.
More than once. I really like that."
Bailey grinned, but her eyes looked irritated. "The guys I fuck are lame.
Half of the time I don't come. When I do, it's usually because I did all
the work. I haven't been fucked well ever. I hate you a little right now."
"That's okay. I hate you all the time. Look at this house and your
parents. I also like how nicely you tan. I usually get blotchy."
Bailey smiled again and this one brightened her eyes. "I like that you're
jealous of me. I know I shouldn't feel that way, but I do."
"Don't worry about pretending to be nice around me. I like having a
bitchy friend. Lark has been my best friend since birth and her niceness
makes me feel like an asshole."
"I think she's nice because she's tiny. If she were taller, she could be a
bitch more. That's my theory anyway."
"Probably. What she lacks in size and strength, she makes up for in
speed. I could never catch the little bitch when we'd play tag. I guess
everyone has their skills."
Bailey dipped her head into the water then came back up refreshed.
"Don't get too attached to Vaughn."
"Not a problem. He's a fuck buddy. Well, he was. I don't know after he
ditched me. The guy is weird."
"Very weird, but he's allowed to be that way because of how he'll be
dead soon."
Goosebumps rose over my skin and I shivered. Vaughn wasn't a nice
guy and he pissed me off. Despite his asshole personality, he was

full of life and I couldn't imagine all of his energy snuffed out.
"Why dead?" I asked quietly. "I knew he was an outlaw or something
from his old motorcycle club. What happened?"
Bailey shrugged and glanced around. "No one really tells me anything.
I just know he showed up years ago with some girl and Pop said he
killed an important asshole in the Devils. He's been on borrowed time
since then. I don't know why, but lately the Devils are pushing hard to
have Vaughn killed."
"What girl?"
"Harlow. I saw her when they arrived and she was around my age. Beat
up and skittish. She reminded of the old cat I had. We found Rainbow
by the pond and she was kind of feral. We cleaned her up and fed her
and took care of her, but every little noise made her run and hide. She
was scared of the dogs. Sawyer would get loud and the cat would hide
for hours. Eventually, she just ran off. That's how Harlow seemed.
Everything made her jump and she was always hiding behind Vaughn.
If he moved, she moved with him."
"Where is she now?"
"The cat or Harlow?"
"Both."
"I don't know about Rainbow. Dogs probably ate her. Harlow lives
with the Todds. They take in runaways or other fucked up kids from
clubs. Like a charity or something. Tad Todds is the local minister for
the Reapers. He's all religious, but not in a boring lame way. Anyway,
they had moved to Tennessee for the ministry, but came back when the
Devils said they wanted Harlow dead too."
"Sounds like bullshit. Vaughn's one guy. Who could he have killed that
was such a big deal?"
"Who cares? Vaughn was their enforcer. He cleaned up the Devils'
messes then went and made a mess. They want him cleaned now."
"Your dad won't let that happen, will he?"
Even knowing I sounded like a whiny kid, Vaughn was too beautiful
and funny to die. I imagined him saving that girl and being a hero.
While I wasn't an idealistic person, I liked the thought of him killing an
evil fuck and plucking the abused child from hell.

Vaughn was just special. I wasn't sure why he was special besides the
sex and how he made me laugh. No matter what made him remarkable,
I wanted him to live a long happy life.
"Pop's not really running stuff anymore. It's on Coop and cutting
Vaughn loose might be easier than dealing with the Devils' shit."
"It'd make him look weak," I said, immediately regretting the words.
"Cooper isn't weak," Bailey hissed and I thought she might hit me. I
knew I'd hit her back and things would get messy. "He has to think
about the whole club and the family business. That's not easy. You
don't know the pressure, bitch."
"No, but I know men and their images. If Cooper hands over Vaughn,
it'll send the signal that he's weaker than your dad. That won't be good
for the club or the business."
"Eat it, Raven. I know you like fucking Vaughn, but shut up about my
family's problems."
Rolling my eyes, I swam to the other end of the pool and ignored her.
Bailey did what she always did when insecure. She looked for someone
to fix the hole inside her.
"You shouldn't talk about my family," she said, swimming to where I
waited.
"I care about your family. Other than Lark, my family is shit and I
would waste them all to protect your family. I just know how people
like those Devils view weakness. Once they smell it, they keep
pushing."
"I like Vaughn too, you know. I don't want him to die, but it's not easy
for Cooper."
"I wasn't saying he was weak," I whispered, my tone settling the anger
in her eyes. "I'm saying if he gives an inch now that it'll be more work
for him later."
"I know. He knows that too."
"I'm sorry I upset you. Sometimes, I mouth off in a way that seems
bitchier than I mean."
Bailey sighed. "They don't tell me anything. They act like I'm not smart
enough, but they tell Tucker and he's way dumber than me. I should
know stuff too."

"Maybe they don't think you want to be part of the business."
"I'd help Coop, if he let me. I know he works hard. He still has to do the
law school shit. I want him to be with Farah and be happy, but he
pushes me aside like I'm dumb and weak."
"He's just trying to protect you like you protect him."
Bailey smiled slightly. "I do protect him. I don't like anyone messing
with my family."
"You're barely nineteen and they see you as a kid. One day, they'll see
you as a woman and give you more responsibility."
"I could handle it too. I would work hard for the family, if they let
me."
"I know," I said, swiping away the wet hair from her eyes. "One day,
they'll know too."
When Bailey smiled again, she seemed so young. "I don't want Vaughn
to die."
"He's tough. So are Cooper and Judd. I'm sure it'll be fine."
Bailey nodded. "Do you think he'll be your boyfriend now?"
"Vaughn isn't interested in that shit and I can't fall for anyone.
Especially not him. I just needed to blow off steam and he's great for
that," I said, smiling despite my worries over him. "I might have broken
my abstinence plan when it came to fucking, but I'm still abstaining
from falling in love with assholes."
"I hope I find someone nice one day," Bailey muttered, glancing at the
sunset. "I see everyone in love and I get jealous. I've never been in love
before. It looks fun."
"It's not," I told her, grumpy now. "Love hurts and it kills a part of your
heart when the relationship ends. Maybe you'll get lucky and find what
your parents have. Or maybe you'll end up like me. A loser who
embarrasses herself again and again. If I were you, I'd wait until you
think it's like your parents. Even if you have to wait for a long time."
Bailey studied me then caressed my cheek. "You'll find someone good.
Everyone has a perfect person for them. That's what my mom said and
she's always right. We just need to find our perfect person then
everything will work and we won't be lonely."
"We'll go on double dates and have playdates with our cute kids.

It'll be aces, baby."
A laughing Bailey swam backwards. "Do you want to hang out
tonight?"
"Sure. I had planned to bug Lark, but she might want alone time with
her man."
"We'll be annoying like that one day and people will mock us."
Following Bailey out of the pool, I doubted I could ever love a man
who wouldn' t treat me like shit. Plenty of good men existed, but they
didn' t interest me. Plenty of losers existed who I might swoon over.
Yet, I didn' t want to give my kids a turd for a dad. Despite a great night
with a bad man, I was going to end up using a honky-tonk sperm donor
one day.
"Can I come?" Sawyer asked, appearing from the yard. "We don't know
where we're going."
"I don't care. Tuck is bringing the baby over. It'll cry and everyone will
pay attention to it and ignore me."
"I know the feeling of being replaced," Bailey said, smirking at her
sister. "Little kids suck."
Sawyer rolled her eyes and looked at me. "Can I come?"
"What do you want to do?"
"We could barhop and scope out hot guys."
I frowned at Bailey who shrugged. "I didn't teach her that."
"A girls' night out sounds great. We'll clean up and meet in an hour. We
can pick up my car before we come home."
After Sawyer high-fived me followed by her sister, she ran inside to
announce in the loudest voice imaginable how she was ditching the
baby stank for the night.
A grumpy Bailey nudged me. "You better not ignore me and pay
attention to her."
"I can pay attention to both of you. I had two little siblings, remember?"
Bailey's frown faded and she hugged me. "Your life makes me
sad."
Hugging her back, I shrugged off her worry. Bailey wasn't convinced
though.

"I wish I could hit you over the head and give you amnesia, so you'd
forget all the bad stuff that happened to you." "I like remembering who
I am."
"What if I hit you just kinda hard and gave you a little bit of amnesia?"
she suggested, grinning.
"With my luck, I'd just remember the crap and forget the good
stuff."
"What good stuff?"
"Lark and Phoenix," I said, walking away. "Oh and the fucking from
last night was pretty memorable." "Whore."
Giving her a wink, I disappeared down the path to the apartment. A
night with the girls would distract from Vaughn. I wanted to smack him
for the stupid text. I also wanted another night of sweaty fun. Smacking
and sexing would have to wait. The Johansson sisters required all of my
attention.
Twenty minutes later, Bailey was shocked when Sawyer won Rock,
Paper, Scissors then chose Chuck E Cheese as our hangout destination.
Sawyer was shocked anyone wouldn't want to go to Chuck E Cheese. I
was just shocked the sisters hadn't killed each other years
ago.
A deal was a deal, so we dropped by Chuck E Cheese. Even though I
promised Bailey we would eat somewhere, she sulked like a bitchy
child. I eventually said I was ignoring her unless she played nice.
Grudgingly, oh so very grudgingly, Bailey chilled out. Arms crossed in
irritation, she watched Sawyer and I play the Aliens game. Duckface
present, she stood next to me and Sawyer while we rode the roller
coaster simulator. By the time I was throwing basketballs, Bailey
finally realized there was no harm in silly fun.
When we were crawling around in the tubes with Sawyer, Bailey
laughed before quickly looking around to make sure no one knew she
was having fun. In that moment, I realized her biggest problem. Bailey
lived her life through the eyes of others.
Despite her big mouth and claims of awesome, she wasn't her own
person. Everything she did was to gain the approval of others, but
people

were impossible to please. I wished she understood how out of a
hundred people, she would still have at least one hater. I realized this
fact as a kid when one grandmother told me I looked like an angel
before another grandmother told me I looked like trailer trash. There
was no pleasing everyone, so life had to be about what I needed and
how to please those I loved. Anyone beyond them was static.
Telling Bailey any of this would feel like a lecture and she was in a
good mood once she realized Chuck E Cheese was empty enough for
her to enjoy. We bought a hundred tokens and played crappy games
until they were all gone. Next, Sawyer danced with the Chuck E
Cheese animatronic mouse while I took pictures. Soon, I joined her and
shook my butt to the horrible music.
When Bailey seemed unsure about joining us, I yanked her onto the
kiddie dance floor. She smiled like I was the best brain she ever had and
I agreed with her. If I was running things up in that pretty head, her life
would be a hell of a lot easier.
"I never took dance classes," Bailey said, swaying her arms.
"Neither did I," Sawyer yelled, bouncing around. "I'm a natural."
Rolling my eyes, l laughed. "You're both dorks. It's Chuck E Cheese.
No one cares how you dance."
Bailey and Sawyer proceeded to display their lack of formal training by
holding hands and jumping in place. I stepped back and allowed them a
little sisterly bonding.
Lark and I used to do goofy things together. I missed those easy times,
but I'd left and she built a life without me. Despite my pride in what she
created with Aaron, I longed for what I left behind. With those days
gone, I could only follow my sister's lead and build something better.

Chapter Six - Vaughn
Relieved to have company, I refused to run back to Raven. Nothing
said a guy was hooked like spending two nights in a row with the same
chick. No, I needed to keep my distance and play it cool. Problem was
most days were boring as shit and my evenings were even duller. That
was where Judd and Tawny came in.
The dark haired couple walked into the restaurant connected at the hip
in the way couples tended to enter any room. Judd 's arm was wrapped
around Tawny' s shoulders and he walked slower so she could keep
pace. Normally, the pretty girl who stole my buddy's heart was
bouncing or nearly humping him. Tawny always seemed in a state of
happy since snaring her man. Tonight, her dark eyes looked depressed.
"Something I said?" I asked as she sat across from me in the booth.
"Fuck off," Judd growled.
Even grumpy, Tawny smiled at his growling. She thought the sound of
it was hilarious.
"What's the deal? Are you that upset about having dinner with
me?"
Judd' s blue eyes glared at me and I knew he was really pissed. Like
jump across the booth and cut my throat pissed. While he might kill
me, I figured I'd make him work for it.
"Therapy is hard," Tawny said, staring at the menu in front of her. "Not
everything is about you, Vaughn."
"Fair enough," I said, backing off now that Tawny looked ready to
cry.
Judd stopped trying to murder me with his eyes and rested an arm on
the back of the booth. He glanced at Tawny who seemed smaller than
usual. When his gaze returned to me, I knew I was about to get mocked.
I mentally prepared to give as well as I got.
"The chick last night marked you," he said, gesturing to my throat.
"Might be a stalker. You'll want to prepare to wake up with your balls
removed."
"Raven might cut off my balls, but not because she's a stalker.

More like she's just in a bad mood or gassy."
Tawny looked at me then shook her head. "Oh, Vaughn. You're
fucked."
"Actually, I was and quite well. In fact, I think she bruised my hip
bones."
Laughing, Tawny cuddled against Judd. "When's the wedding." Once
Judd started laughing, I flipped them off and looked at my menu.
"We're fuck buddies. Nothing more."
Judd nodded. "Makes sense. A man of your stupidity couldn't handle a
relationship. Best to keep your life simple." "She's hot. That's all I care
about."
"She is hot," Tawny said, smiling easier now. "She could probably land
a rich guy with those looks." "Did you just call me poor?"
"I only mean she could get someone better than a manwhore with
commitment issues."
"Fuck you," I said and Judd looked ready to hit me. "I could commit if
I wanted to. If I wasn't expecting to die soon, I'd commit all over the
fucking place."
"You don't even have a pet."
"Who would take care of my pet when I died?"
"If it was a cat, we'd take it in."
Judd frowned. "No more cats."
"One more wouldn't hurt. In fact, if we have a bunch of cats, people
will stop asking when we're having a kid."
Judd's frown disappeared. "Another cat wouldn't be the end of the
world."
"Judd's the one who can't commit," I muttered.
"He's married and we have two cats. We're plenty committed. You're
the one getting hickeys from a girl who likely will marry someone else
in a few months."
"Why a few months?"
"I don't know. I just feel like she'll be married in a few months. A rich
guy."

"Are you psychic now?"
"Yes, I'm going to open a shop and tell people their fortunes." Smiling,
Judd kissed her forehead. "A businesswoman. That's sexy."
"Don't even think about ditching me again so you two can fuck. You
can hump each other later."
"Oh, we will," Tawny said, waving over the waitress. "I wonder who
Raven is humping tonight?"
"I don't care," I lied. "Sloppy seconds don't bother me."
Judd grinned. "They must not bother Raven either if she fucked
you."
"How quickly the male slut turns judgmental? You've been
monogamous for less than a year, so save the lectures."
"Did I lecture him?" Judd asked Tawny who shook her head.
The idiots were ganging up on me. Typical. I was tempted to find a
woman and become a couple, just so I could tag team against them.
Realizing this was stupid, I sighed.
"I'd make a great husband and father. I have what it takes."
Judd and Tawny frowned in unison then focused on the waitress. After
we ordered, Judd tucked Tawny against him and she got melancholy
again.
"So Farah's knocked up, huh?" I said when they sat silently for too
long. "I hope Cooper has a girl. Serves him right."
"Serves him right for what?"
"I don't know. I'm pissed because I could have sat and talked to myself
without you two sitting there ignoring me. Plus, I wouldn't be eating
here and listening to losers on karaoke in the bar."
Judd exhaled hard. "I feel like you' re looking for sympathy or a hug.
I'm not giving you either."
"I don't feel sorry for you either," Tawny said. "I can't hug you anyway.
Judd doesn't like when I touch other men."
Grinning, I remembered how Judd reacted to Mac who Tawny touched
once. No doubt if Mac ever needed saving, Judd would allow him to
die. He was still pissed having anyone near his woman. My grin faded
when I realized how much I wanted to find a woman and go stupid

for her.
"When this Devils' thing is taken care of," Tawny said after our steaks
arrived, "what will you do? Like will you get a pet?"
Judd and I looked at one another and neither thought I'd be alive to get
a pet when the Devils' thing was done. Tawny was bummed already
though, so I played along.
"I'll get married and have a bunch of kids."
"A bunch?" Judd asked, smirking. "What's that? Like six?"
"Sure, why not? The world is an ugly place and I could make it better
with my blond kids running around."
"Why do you assume they'll be blond?" Tawny asked and I spotted a
smirk on her face.
"Because I' m blond. In my fantasy future, my kids will look like
me."
"Or you'll hook up with some random blonde chick. Makes sense,"
Judd said, smirking at Tawny.
Even rolling my eyes at their hinting, I had been thinking about Raven
when I imagined those blond beauties running around Ellsberg. Our
kids would be more beautiful than the sun and people would secretly
hate us for having better kids than them.
Made sense to me, but I wasn't having any kids and I certainly wasn't
having them with Raven. Hell, forget the Devils shit. Raven hadn' t
even texted me back and I knew she must be up by then. After all the
hot sex and laughs I gave her, she was just blowing me off.
"Why do you look like you'll cry?" Tawny teased me and Judd smiled.
"You two are annoying."
"I love Judd and he makes me happy."
Crap. I knew I might as well disappear at that point. Judd's gaze locked
onto Tawny's and they shared a silent conversation. Normally, I would
interrupt and remind them the world existed outside of their little love
match. Tonight, Tawny looked tired and a little lost. She needed
something chitchat wouldn't offer.
The two of them said nothing for the rest of the meal. Not to me or each
other. I knew Judd could go hours, hell days, without talking. I'd

always done all of the talking while he brooded. Now, I had to brood
too and I didn' t enjoy it half as much as Judd did.
My boredom became so intense from their silence that I focused on the
various awful karaoke renditions in the bar area. I couldn't see who was
singing, but I pictured them. A senior citizen serenading his woman to
Kenny Rogers, rednecks remembering Skynard, and college girls
pretending they had the pipes of Christina Aguilera. By the time Judd
and Tawny bailed on me, someone decided to be the billionth loser to
sing Journey's Don't Stop Believing.
Figuring I might entertain myself with heckling, I walked to the bar. I
never made it through the door. Instead, I leaned against the doorway,
crossed my arms, and enjoyed the spectacle of Raven, Bailey, and
Sawyer singing horribly along with Steve Perry.
The three blondes sang their talentless hearts out with Sawyer on a
stool in the middle. Bailey wasn't singing as much as yelling to the
music. Sawyer was talking the song. Raven though was really trying to
sound good. Unfortunately, her sexy voice didn't translate well into
song.
The few people in the bar clapped when the song ended. Mainly
because Bailey and Raven were hot. Sawyer ran to the bar and ordered
a beer. The bartender nodded and gave her a big glass of root beer. She
winked at him and told Bailey to pay the man. The kid was going to
rule the world one day.
Raven walked over to me with a strange frown on her face. "I feel like I
know you. Vaughn, was it?"
Grinning, I leaned forward and whispered, "I could make you
remember it the way I did last night."
"When I woke up alone, I assumed you needed space," Raven said,
pushing me away. "There. Enjoy it."
"Someone's getting clingy."
Raven shared my smile then punched me in the arm. Hard too. I was
impressed.
"Fuck you, asshole," she muttered, glancing at Bailey who looked
irritated. When Raven looked back at me, her expression was pissed. I
still thought she looked hot though. "You were the one talking about

getting dinner together and fucking me to sleep tonight. You were
clingy then you ditched me. Why talk about all that shit if you didn't
intend to stick around?"
"What can I say? I'm a flake. Call it a blond moment."
"Which part? Where you said you wanted to hang or where you
bailed?"
"Both and neither. Why are you so upset if you aren't clingy?"
"If I wanted to have a guy jerk me around, I would date for real. I
thought the cool thing about fuck buddies was that we could enjoy the
fucking and hang out without all the damn games."
Rubbing the back of my neck, I sighed. "I dig you, okay? I like you
more than some random chick, but I'm not looking to get involved."
Hands on her hips, she glared up at me. "I don't want to get involved
either. We're on the same page, so what's the fucking problem?"
"I don't know how to be buddies who also bang." "What about you and
Judd?" she asked without missing a beat. "You're never letting that go,
are you?" Shaking her head, she smiled. "Well, it was good seeing
you." Before she could return to Bailey and Sawyer, I grabbed her
around the waist.
"Let's hang tonight. I'll make it up to you."
"You sound like a boyfriend who cheated or forgot my birthday. Ick.
Go away," she muttered, breaking loose.
Slipping a finger in the loop of her jean shorts, I tugged her back
against me. "I'm still hungry after dinner."
"I don't want to eat," she grumbled, struggling weakly.
"I don't mean for food," I said and whispered in her ear, "I still
remember the way you taste and I crave it."
Raven glanced at Bailey then sighed. By the way her body relaxed
against mine, I knew she was on the hook.
"Let me ditch the Johansson sisters and I'll meet you outside. Where are
you parked?"
"In the back."
"I'll walk them out then come around and we'll play in the dark."

Grinning, I leaned down and sucked at her lips. Raven smiled softly
then glanced around.
"Let's go to your place again. I don't want Bailey getting mad and
interrupting on accident," she said, air quoting "on accident."
"Hurry. My jeans can't contain how much I miss being inside you."
Raven' s expression froze. "You are truly blessed to be so hot.
Seriously, with those lines, I can't imagine anyone would fuck you
ever. Even hookers would laugh in your face."
Already thinking about how much I enjoyed being inside her, I ignored
her insult. "Yeah, but I am hot, so I'll be waiting for you in the
back."
Running her nails down my chest, Raven smiled before walking to
where Bailey and Sawyer waited. I watched the sisters frown at
whatever Raven told them. As Bailey paid the bill and they headed to
the restroom, I walked out to my Harley to wait.
I leaned against my bike and thought about Raven. She was hot and
fun, but I wasn't falling for her. I was falling into her. Fucking was what
I needed to help with the boredom and fucking her was better than
fucking other chicks. Not because she was special. She was just hot and
knew how to make a man beg. It was only sex.
Except as I watched her singing, I had felt something more than horny.
Maybe pride in her fearless behavior. When she caressed the back of
Sawyer's head in a gentle way, I imagined her as a mother. For a
moment before I squashed the idea, I thought about her as the mother of
my kids. It was ridiculous. I'd never be a father. Yet, Raven was mine in
some way.
Leaning against the Harley, I understood Raven. In fact, I understood
her well enough to know she had ditched me. I also sensed she knew
me well enough to know I would give chase. As the Harley came to
life, I figured if she wanted to play that we could play. I intended to win
though.
Bailey's SUV was a block up when I spotted it. Instead of taking the
highway that led to her house, she screeched around a corner in the
other direction. Lark and Aaron were about to get a visitor I suspected.
Speeding through the evening traffic, I noticed Bailey turn into the

alley towards Aaron's place. As I nearly reached where the SUV idled,
she screeched away. Raven wasn't visible, but she easily could have
gone through the back gate. I roared around to the front of the house
and parked. While storming to the front door, I heard Aaron's little
Boston Terriers barking as if the house was under attack.
I knocked once before Lark answered. A tiny chick to begin with, she
seemed smaller than usual in her pajamas and Barney slippers.
"Really, Lark? Barney?" I asked. "Oh, and tell Raven to come outside."
"I like Barney and Raven isn't here."
"Bullshit. No one likes Barney and I saw Bailey drop her off."
"Fuck off, dipshit. I like Barney and I'm someone."
"Tell him, baby!" Aaron yelled from the couch. "Feel free to sic the
dogs on him too."
Rolling my eyes, I pushed the door open a bit more then eased past
Lark and her growing baby bump.
"Where is she?"
"I don't know," she said, running her hand through dark messy hair.
"Probably with Bailey."
"I saw Bailey drop her off."
"Did you see Raven get out of the car or did you see the car stop then
take off? I suspect you've been had, buddy."
Rubbing my face, I glanced around then focused on Aaron who sat
eating popcorn while wearing only boxers.
"You hooked up with Raven, huh?" he asked. "Awesome, man. I give
her a week to beat you into submission."
"Fuck off."
Lark smacked my arm. "Don't cuss in front of the babies!"
As she and Aaron laughed at me, I checked around the house. Baby
stuff filled the spare room. Wedding presents were stacked against the
wall in what should have been a dining room. I saw a tiny house full of
crap, but no Raven.
"She tricked me," I admitted.
"Sorry, but you should know better than to have done whatever you did
to make her trick you."

"She didn't tell you?"
Lark shuffled over to Aaron and sat next to him on the couch. "Why
would Raven tell me about you two screwing? Is it serious? Should I be
knitting booties for you too?"
"You're knitting?"
"Yep. See?" she said, waving her hand towards bags of unopened
knitting supplies.
"She's pacing herself," Aaron added.
"Well, sorry to interrupt your wedded bliss."
"Raven won't make it easy for you. If she went home, she'll hide in that
big Johansson house until you leave."
"Seriously, dude," Aaron muttered, mouth full of popcorn. "Try
playing hard to get a little. This chasing after a chick makes you seem
desperate."
Laughing at me again, they cuddled up with their dogs while I left them
to be lame. Really, Barney?
Revving my Harley, I considered chasing Raven down at the Johansson
place, but I suspected she really didn't want to be caught. A part of me
didn' t care what she wanted. I was horny and she was the girl I wanted
to nail. Screw her needs.
A bigger part of me wanted to make my time with Raven mean
something. I'd pissed her off and she'd punished me. We were even.
Tomorrow, we'd start again.

Chapter Seven - Raven
Bailey was the only girl in the world who had East Bound and Down
ready for a car chase. When we ditched Vaughn and ran for it, she hit a
button and gave me a grin. She was still smiling when I jumped out of
the car and ran for the back gate at Aaron and Lark's place. As I
unlocked the backdoor, I heard Bailey's SUV screech away with the
song still playing from the open windows. I suspected she and Sawyer
would cause more trouble before the night was over.
Once inside the house, I only had enough time to startle Lark coming
out of the bathroom and beg her to hide me. She likely thought the cops
were coming. Or maybe an irate loser I'd fought with in a bar. Despite
her lack of prep time, she handled Vaughn perfectly. I'd never heard her
lie so well. Marriage had apparently given her new skills.
Crowded into a tiny coat closet, I prepared for Vaughn to open the door
and give me some irrational shit about how I was stalking him by
running away. Instead, Lark opened the door and shook her head.
"Vaughn? Really?"
Climbing out of the closet, I hugged her. "I'm sorry he mocked Barney.
I think the purple dino is pretty awesome too."
Lark grinned at me then took my hand and walked to her bedroom. The
bed was a mess and I suspected recently used. Good to know the sexing
didn't end with the marriage vows.
"Raven, what happened to giving up men?"
"It was too hard," I said, playing with her wild hair. "You need a
haircut."
"I know, but Vaughn isn't a man who will love you. He'll cheat and
dump you."
"He's not that bad. He's actually funny. I've never had a guy make me
laugh like Vaughn does."
"I'm not saying he's bad. I think Vaughn is great as a friend, but he isn't
what you need. He'll disappoint you and it'll be your fault for thinking
he wouldn't."
Sighing, I kicked off my shoes. "Can I stay tonight? I'll sleep on

the couch since the spare room is kidded up." "Are you listening to
me?" "Yes, but I'm not done with Vaughn yet."
"Why hide then?"
"He was a jerk and needed punishing. We're even now. "What do you
hope will happen with him?" Lark looked tired and I worried about her.
She was never good about complaining about her problems. "Are you
feeling okay?"
"I'll answer if you answer me first about Vaughn." "He's like a
vacation. I know he'll leave me tired and grumpy when it's over, but I
have to enjoy my time while I have the chance." "I assume he's a good
fuck."
"Hell yeah, but he's really funny too. He says the most random shit. My
life is ordinary and Vaughn's not average. I want a taste of something
special before I get too old to dream."
"You're twenty two."
Sighing, I pulled a band from my jeans pocket and tied up my hair into
a sloppy bun.
"I want what you have, Lark. You know I want to be a mom and settle
down. I can't have that yet. Soon, I want to have a kid and it'll be with
some loser I hook up with and it won't be special like you have with
Aaron. It'll mean nothing, but I want to have the most I can in life. I
know men are bad news, but I can have the rest. Not yet though.
Vaughn is like my last hurrah before I get serious about life and he's the
perfect guy for it too."
Scooting closer, I pulled Lark against me and she sighed in an
exhausted way.
"With Dex, I thought we were in love. I believed him even when he
lied. I always believe their lies, but Vaughn is honest. He says he just
wants to fuck and have fun. Even if I want to dream of more, he 'll keep
me grounded. That's why he's perfect. He's not pretending to care more
than he does. I want romance and a man like you have. I want that, but
I'll never have it. With any other guy, he'd lie and I'd believe him. I'm
desperate to have the lies be true. Vaughn is my chance to have fun

without believing lies."
"I admit Vaughn tends to blurt out whatever he's thinking. I can see
why you'd like that. I also know he's handsome and sexy and you've
always liked bad boys. I do get it, but I worry about you."
"I worry about you too," I said softly as I caressed her head resting
against my chest. "You look tired."
Lark didn' t speak for a minute. When she finally looked at me, I saw a
lot of different emotions swirling in those bright green eyes.
"I feel like shit. I'm tired and dizzy. I can't eat ninety percent of the food
I used to eat. I feel awful, but I'm afraid to complain."
"Why?"
"Maddy just had her baby and she was so tough about the whole thing.
I'm surprised she didn't give birth in the middle of the grocery store
then go back to picking up things for dinner. Next to her, I'm a
weakling. Also, Farah is going to be all brave and awesome too. I don't
want to be the whiner."
"First of all, Maddy's got that natural breeder look about her. Some
chicks are like that and you can't let the exception be your rule.
Besides, you're having twins. You have more baby cooking to do than
she did, so screw comparisons."
"I just don't want people to think less of me."
"By people, do you mean Aaron?"
"We barely met and got married and now I'm getting fat and I'm tired
all the time. I don't want him to lose interest." "Oh, Lark, you're so
fucking stupid sometimes." "Yeah, I know," she said, grinning. "We
have that in common." "So true."
"Mom said that I'm like her and she had a guy like Aaron and she
suffocated him and he ditched her. I know Mom sucks, but what if she's
right and I wear down Aaron and he stops loving me?"
"Any man who would want Mom must be shit. Aaron isn't shit."
"I know, but I get scared of messing up everything I have."
Kissing her forehead, I stood up and walked to the bedroom door.
"Hey, Mister Clean, get over here."
Laughing, Lark followed me into the hallway where Aaron

appeared, clearly loving his new nickname.
"Listen up, Yule Brenner," I said, sending Lark into giggles. "My sister
is cooking up two kids that you stuck inside her. She needs more damn
love than you're giving. If you don't do a better job of babying her, I' m
going to have to replace you. Hmm, I just saw this guy Jake that I knew
from high school. He's ripped and works at the gym. The gym, Aaron. "
My brother-in-law stared unaffected until I finished then he gazed
down at his wife. Lark must have known what was coming because she
started giggling.
"My sweet muse," he murmured and she laughed harder, "do you need
more love than I' m giving?"
Aaron swept Lark into his arms and cradled her like a kid. "Poor thing.
I'll just need to pay more attention."
As he kissed all over her, Lark stopped giggling and began moaning
affirmations.
"Good thing you obeyed because I think Jake might be gay."
After giving me a wink, Aaron gestured for me to go away. I was the
one to obey this time. Leaving them to cuddle and more in the
bedroom, I watched television and finished the popcorn. Professor
joined me, but Pollack was wary. I think it was because I was always
barking at her. In my defense, she started it.

Chapter Eight - Vaughn
Restless without a hot blonde in my bed, I stopped by Whiskey Kirk's
for a few drinks. I spotted more than a few possibilities for bedroom
duty, but I wanted a particular chick and anyone else would leave me
disappointed.
In a different life where I hadn't made a split second decision to derail
everything, I might have a chance to make a real life with Raven. Of
course, if I hadn't made that decision years ago, I wouldn't have ended
up in Ellsberg and met her.
Logic aside, if I could dig my way out of the hole I made for myself, I
could go on a real date with Raven. Stop pissing around with the
friends with benefits and be more. When she shared the shit about her
dad, I saw how much more complicated and fragile she was than the
badass bitch she showed me before. I wanted to know more. Hell, I
wanted to know everything.
While Cooper could fix things with the Devils, I knew doing what
needed to be done might not be in his best interest. Calling in a cleaner
from Memphis might make him look weak or unstable. A war when he
was a newlywed and still in school wasn't what the kid needed. Had
Kirk been in charge as things deteriorated with the Devils, he no doubt
would have spilt blood by now. He enjoyed luxuries Cooper didn't.
I wanted to daydream about Raven and the life we might share if I
weren't a dead man walking. Instead, the door opened to the bar and I
saw the chick who made me into an outlaw.
Harlow looked healthy and happy thanks to the Todds. The blonde
teenager no longer hid behind others and her smile came easier, but it
froze once she saw me. Those blue eyes were like a deer in the
headlights. Or an abused child faced with an angry parent. Harlow
always stared at me like she was still waiting for me to kill her. Even
when I made her laugh, she'd quickly flinch out of my way. I didn't
blame her for fearing me. Even hating me. I know I hated her a little bit
too.
Giving her a head nod, I turned away and stared at my beer. In the

mirror behind the bar, I saw how Harlow arrived with Tad Todds and a
few of his other charity cases. They sat at a back table and ordered. I
knew Harlow was watching me without even seeing her in the mirror.
Like we shared a mental connection, I could feel her accusations.
My life in Tucson wasn't a fairytale. It was ugly and rough, but it was
better than I' d had in a long time. With the motorcycle club, I belonged
somewhere. I had a family for the first time ever. My mom was safe
and I found a level of respect. A good life even if I had to clean up the
horrors left behind by my brothers. If I had cleaned up just one more, I
could still be in that life. Hell, I'd probably be married to some pretty
thing by then.
If I had done my job, I' d have the life I wanted. Thinking back to the
night in that room with a drugged Harlow staring up at me and crying
for her mommy, I knew I'd change nothing. She ruined my life, but
someone had ruined hers first.
So my future wouldn't involve a life in Tucson with a cute chick and a
yard full of kids. Besides, Raven was better than those girls in Tucson.
She understood me. Deep down inside, we were the same. I wasn't sure
why she was special, but I dug everything about her. Even when she
was a pain in the ass like when she ditched me, I couldn't imagine
anyone better.
My dream kids deserved someone great and they certainly deserved a
father who didn't murder teenage girls. If those children ever became a
reality, they needed what I never had growing up. A man who would
take Harlow's life wasn't a man I wanted to see in the mirror.
Finishing my beer, I paid the tab and glanced over at Harlow. As I
expected, she was watching me. Our eyes met again and she held my
gaze. She was stronger now. Maybe she was really happy too. The
Todds were good people and their love healed ugly wounds. Might
even heal the horror of the night Harlow and I met.
As I left the bar, I accepted she was better off in Ellsberg. For the first
time in a while, I thought I was better off too. Dead man walking or not,
I had something to look forward to thanks to Raven. Tomorrow, I'd
track her down and make things work again. She'd fight me a little then
give in. Whatever happened afterwards would be a fun surprise.

Chapter Nine - Raven
Professor woke me up just after dawn by barking at Deputy Dickhead
Darling who was walking up and down the street. I peeked out to find
the idiot picking up trash from the street and throwing it into the yards
of the litterbugs. When he took a big gulp cup and tossed it into our
front yard, I considered raising hell since I knew the trash wasn't ours.
Instead, I decided to let the world sleep a bit longer before I started
screaming.
By the time I washed up and sat on the porch, Dickhead had gone to
work. I saw a few people preparing to do the same. Professor saw them
too, but was only interested in the trash in his yard. He growled at the
cup, pushing it around with his nose.
"Dogs are idiots," I muttered as Pollack stared at me. "Bark at me and I'
m barking back, bitch."
The dog gave her equivalent of a hair toss then walked away. After I
dug around in my purse for Nicorette, I grabbed a cigarette too.
Chewing my gum while puffing on the unlit smoke, I tried to trick my
brain into thinking I was getting my fix. It only worked because I was
still half asleep.
"Lark will likely end up on bed rest in a month or two," Aaron said at
the doorway.
Startled, I nearly dropped my cigarette. "You're like a cat," I muttered.
"I might need to get you a collar with a bell."
He smiled and joined me on the swing. "Thanks for talking to her about
asking for help. She needs to know not to take it all on herself."
"Lark's always taken care of herself. I tried, but I'm too selfish and
disorganized. Our mother never cared. Lark isn't used to relying on
people."
"She has me now."
I snorted. "You sounded like a guy from a soap opera."
"Shut up," he muttered, giving me a grin. "Vaughn's a good guy."
"He's a jackass. Hot and funny, but a jerk."
"When I say good guy, I don't mean nice. I just mean he takes care

of those he's loyal to." "Jackass."
"He can't commit because of the crap from his past. Not because he
doesn't have it in him. He wants a woman and a family. He'd toss his
balls in your purse if he could, but he can't so he acts like his balls need
to run free in the world. Don't let him fool you. It's a con."
"I've got his number."
"Do you like to bowl?"
"Sure."
"If you ever want to test him, ask Vaughn to go bowling. If he thinks
you're just some chick, he'll say no. Bowling is this special thing to
him. Not like pool or other stuff. If he doesn't want to bowl with you, he
doesn't think you're special. Sounds stupid, but the guy won't bowl with
anyone from our club except Judd and the Johanssons. He doesn't trust
the other guys and the bowling alley is like his church. He won't share it
with just anyone."
Studying Aaron, I nodded. "I'll keep that in mind."
"If this thing with his old club gets handled, he'd have choices he
doesn't have now."
"Choices?"
"Some guys want to bang chicks every night. Then one day, they get
smacked upside the head by the perfect girl. Some guys want to wake
up next to the perfect woman every morning. Vaughn isn't the first type
of guy, no matter how many chicks he fucks or how much he mouths
off. He's an outlaw, so he acts like one. I know he really wants a home."
"I'm not looking for a man. Not one in my bed every night."
Aaron' s smile widened. "Lark and I were laughing at you last night for
saying that shit."
"Fuck you."
Laughing now, Aaron walked inside the house. "Fuck you too, Raven."
The dogs followed their man and I decided I best get my day started.
Inside, Lark was in the kitchen, holding onto the counter like she might
fall without its help. I cuddled up behind her and nuzzled her wild hair.

"How is the baby oven feeling today?" I asked, rubbing her little bump.
"Like fresh corn filled shit."
"Yummy. Thanks for the visual. I think you ought to let Aaron pamper
you. He really likes to. It's a man thing. Do it for his precious balls and
their giant egos."
Lark turned around and hugged me. "He loves me so much. I want that
for you."
"Is this your way of offering a polygamy setup because I'm going to
have to say no. I'm too selfish to share."
Lark's smile faded. "No way am I sharing him. I'd kill you first."
"With what?" I said, sharing her fake glare. "Your munchkin hands."
"Didn't you ever see Chucky? Little things can be deadly." "You do
have his hair."
Lark flinched. "It is that bad?"
"Don't be a dork. You look great. Glowing even." As tears filled her
eyes, I panicked. "Seriously, you look awesome. Better than ever. I' m
jealous of how hot you are."
"You should be," she said, giving me a wink. "Little things can also cry
on cue."
"I'll let that go because you're crying for three these days. As soon as
you poop them babies out, it's on, little girl."
"Whatever," she said, sitting down with her coffee as Aaron returned
wearing a shirt for once. "I'll just beat you with my Barney slippers."
"Cat fight," Aaron muttered. "I should sell tickets." "Speaking of cat
fights, I have one tomorrow night. I'm free tonight though."
"What about Vaughn?" Lark asked, sipping her coffee.
"What about him?"
"He mocked my slippers and you said you would punish him. Did you
lie? Is that your thing now? Lying to your little sister and getting her
hopes up."
"Oh, yeah, I do need to punish him for that, don't I?" I said,

sighing while thinking of Vaughn over my knee. "Will you be angry if I
reward him afterwards? I mean, I believe in both positive and negative
reinforcements."
When a laughing Lark glanced at Aaron, I suspected his shirt was
coming off soon. Apparently, she wanted to reward him for wandering
around the house silently. Marriage was all about give and take.
After Bailey picked me up, we spent the morning running errands. A
little grocery shopping later, we stopped by her mom's bar to pick up
my jeep then headed to the house. Sawyer was still sleeping, having
worn herself out the night before. She finally staggered out of bed
around lunch like a wasted teenager. Even knowing it was wrong to
laugh at her, I couldn't help myself.
Bailey wanted to hang out together later, but Jodi said friends were
coming over.
"You haven't seen Skye since school," Jodi said, lighting a cigarette
and making me drool.
"Who?" Bailey muttered.
"Skye Goldstein." "Not ringing any bells."
"She didn't show the day we were looking for dresses for Farah's
wedding and you chased her down and made her cry." "Ah, yes,"
Bailey said, smiling at me. "Well, behave while her parents are here."
"Why?"
"They think you're friends. I would hate to be the one who tells them
their daughter sucks." "I can tell them for you." "No. Pop doesn't want
drama."
"So I have to be nice to someone I hate? Isn't lying wrong?" Jodi rolled
her eyes and stirred something that smelled good. "I don't want to be
nice," Bailey whined. "Honesty is my new
thing."
"Lying was your new thing last week," Jodi said. Leaning down, I
whispered to Bailey, "Just be nice when people are looking then treat
her like shit when they're looking away. That way

when she cries, you can be the normal one next to the crybaby."
Bailey grinned. "That'll actually work since I lied when I said honesty
was my new thing. It's never been my thing. If I ever say it is, I' m
lying."
"Honesty is for suckers," I said, grabbing my keys. "Well, I'll leave you
to your guests."
"No more hickeys. It makes you look trashy and I'm not lying when I
say that."
Before disappearing around the corner, I smiled softly. "I promise no
more hickeys."
Bailey snorted. "Honesty really is for suckers. Enjoy your vacuum
kisses."
This elicited laughter from Sawyer who remained stretched out on the
couch. Clearly, the seven year old wasn't ready for all nighters.
My afternoon was beyond dull. I folded laundry, took a nap while
watching TV, and folded more laundry. My mind was on Vaughn and
how to see him without looking for him. I didn't want the bastard
knowing I craved his hot body. Or how I needed a good laugh. Or how
I was curious about his life. I told myself my curiosity was a friend
thing. The buddies part of the fuck buddies, but I wanted to know him
now.
Sitting at Tequila Jodi's, I waited for him to show. Logically, I knew he
frequented Kirk's place more and might be running the streets with
chicks. Or he might be hanging out at his place. Somehow, I hoped he
would know I was waiting for him at Jodi's.
My mind was on those possible chicks who kept his bed warm the night
before. I hated the jealousy in my gut. Loathed my stupid easily
attached heart. No, I decided it wasn't my heart that cared. I was simply
concerned about contracting cooties. Yep, that was it.
The cootie monster entered the bar then stood at the doorway. He was
considering whether to play it cool. Maybe sit at a booth and make me
come to him. Even without seeing his face, I knew he was considering
his options. In the end, Vaughn decided he was in a hurry and games
could wait.
"Last night was great, Raven," he said, kissing the top of my head. "I
like the part where you met me behind the bar and I fucked your

brains out. Hell, I fucked mine out too and can't even remember the
whole thing. Still, I know it was great."
Grinning, I looked him up and down. "You look familiar. Derek, is
it?"
"Do I look like a Derek?" he grunted, ordering himself a beer. "James
maybe. I could be a Bill."
"No way. Bill is an everyman name. You are not average, stud."
Vaughn' s irritation faded. "You look good. Well rested. You sleep
well, tulip?"
"Lark's couch is pretty comfy, so yeah." Vaughn rolled his eyes. "I can't
believe the pixy tricked me." "You didn't try very hard. No torture. Not
even threats of it. I don't think you really wanted to find me."
"I didn't sense you wanted to be found." "I didn't."
"You're out in plain sight tonight." "Yes, I am. I have big plans for
tonight."
Sizing me up, Vaughn likely realized who the plans were with because
his glare shifted into a smile. "I might crash early myself."
Smirking, I asked the question I was curious about. "Give yourself a
happy ending last night?"
"Had three coeds to help me with that. I think two of them were named
Kaitlin."
"Good for you," I said, trying not to grind my teeth. "After I ditched
you and before I crashed at Lark's, I hooked up with an old buddy from
high school. Chad works at a gym. Buffed with shoulders to
die for."
The muscles in Vaughn's jaw clenched and the amusement in his eyes
faded.
"Well, I hope you took one of those bleach bubble baths because I' m
planning to fuck you tonight."
"I don't know. Three coeds?" I leaned forward and sniffed him. "I think
I might still be able to smell them on you." Giving his bare shoulder a
lick, I sat back. "Yeah, I definitely taste coed. I guess you

didn' t use enough Purell."
Vaughn inhaled harshly and I saw his jaw clench again. A mental
struggle occurred in his big pretty head and I just hoped he didn't hurt
himself.
"Fine," he grunted, leaning over and erasing the space between us. "My
happy ending involved me jacking off thinking of you,"
Nearly spitting up my beer, I laughed at his expression. I placed my
hand on his chest and his gaze focused on my face as if searching for
something.
"I'm not jealous," he whispered. "I don't get possessive of fuck buddies.
I'd still like you to tell me more about this Chad, so I can hunt him
down and kick his ass."
"Why kick his ass if you're not clingy," I said, tugging away from his
grip.
"For your protection only. A guy that muscular is probably on 'roids.
He could get ragey and I want to make sure you 're safe. Just tell me
where to find him and I'll break his legs, so he can't hassle you."
Staring into his beautiful blue eyes, I knew he was serious. I slid my
hands under his tee.
"I like thinking about you stroking your cock. It excites me."
Vaughn' s breathing stopped and he stared transfixed on my lips.
"I think I might have to fuck you right here," he finally said.
"Would you like to watch me touch myself?"
"Yep, I'm gonna fuck you right now."
Laughing, I jumped off the chair to flee, but he got a finger in the loop
of my shorts.
"Say it," I whispered.
Vaughn grinned. "Pretty please with your clit on top." "Ew," I said,
pushing him away. "Although I am a sucker for good manners."
Reaching up to kiss him, I frowned when he pulled away. "Now, you
say it," he muttered, his gaze hard. "Fine. You're welcome."
Vaughn laughed and scratched at his chin. "Why do I even try? I could
find another easier chick."

"Do it," I said, humor gone. "I dare you." "Don't push me. I'm not your
bitch."
Glancing around, I spotted a cute chick watching us. "Fuck her. She's
into you. Do her and forget about me. Go ahead." "Like you fucked
Chad?" "All night long."
Vaughn exhaled hard again. "Let me kill him and I'll let you fuck me
tonight."
I couldn't help laughing. "That's not much of a negotiation. What do I
get out of it?"
"To fuck me. You know you want it."
Caressing my bottom lip, I nodded. "I do want it. Pretty bad too. I
remember how you feel inside me."
Vaughn' s gaze softened and he studied my face again. "Did you eat
yet?"
"No."
"I'll feed you at my place. First, I want to be inside you." Leaning
against him, I whispered. "I feel so full when you're inside me. Does
that mean you're big or something?"
Vaughn laughed. "Yeah, virgin. That's what it means."
"I've never had a guy so big," I murmured, my hands back up his
shirt.
"Not even Chad?"
Gazing into his eyes, I said nothing. After studying me for a minute, he
finally accepted there was no Chad inside me the night before. Just me
sleeping on a couch while thinking about him.
"Let's go," he sighed.
"Yes, please."
The beautiful smile Vaughn gave me more than moistened my panties.
The damn thing warmed my jaded heart. Hell, I think it even gave me
butterflies in the gut.

Chapter Ten - Vaughn
I had seen the Grand Canyon and witnessed a meteor shower. Never
had I seen anything as beautiful as Raven as when she smiled back at
me while masturbating. As I sat in a chair, she was on my bed resting
on all fours with her pussy facing me. One hand teased her clit while I
stroked my cock.
"I want inside you," I said for maybe the hundredth time.
"That's the thousandth time you've said that," she whispered, her eyes
half open as she gently brought herself towards an orgasm. "Whine
less, stroke more. You can't know how hot you look."
I wanted to say things I shouldn't say. Worse was how I felt things I
shouldn't feel. While I could control my mouth, I had more trouble
controlling my heart. Lust, I promised myself. Intense lust could make
a man stupid.
We found a rhythm. Her fingers slid deeper into her pussy at the same
pace as my hand pleasured me. I might want to be inside her, but the
view was stunning. I loved the way she shivered when the orgasm hit
its peak. Her toes curled too and I smiled at how she showed it all to
me.
Raven dipped her fingers into her wet pussy then she brought them to
her lips. "I taste good."
As if her words were starting bell, I dove across the space separating us.
Raven flinched at first then met my lips. I agreed she tasted perfect. She
pushed her butt back towards my hips until I filled her.
"Ah, I missed that," she moaned, resting on her forearms and lifting the
sexy ass up in the air.
"Raven," was all I could manage to say as I thrust hard into her only
twice before letting go.
Glancing back, she smiled so perfectly. I knew I was in deep shit. We
both were because I wanted to see that smile every day for the rest of
my life. My short, nearly over life.
Raven turned around and wrapped her arms around my waist. Her lips
were on my collar bone, drifting along the wolf tat on my chest. I

didn't wrap her in my arms. Didn't touch her at all. I felt stuck between
my heart and brain. They were on the very separate pages.
My heart said to let Raven go. Push her away and protect her from the
ugly ending I was facing. My head said she was a big girl and could
handle losing me down the road. We should make the best of what we
had now and not worry about tomorrow. My head was being an asshole
as usual.
I shivered as Raven scratched me gently. She was in a weird mood,
nipping and licking like a hyper mouse.
"Did you drink too much caffeine today?" I asked.
Raven looked at me and I saw her walls ready to shoot back up to
protect her heart. Instead, she grinned.
"You're really hot, Vaughn. I've never had access to so much sexy man
meat. "
Just like that, all my plans to keep her at a distance disappeared. She
had me at man meat.
Kissing her softly, I rolled her onto her back and she frowned. "I wasn't
done exploring."
"There's a small charge for exploring this mountain of man meat."
"Did you just call your cock little?"
Frowning, I realized I had. Shrugging, I propped myself over her and
rubbed my offended cock against her wet pussy. Raven sighed and
lifted her hips until I was inside her.
Raven caressed my lips as I moved in and out of her. Her gaze was so
warm and happy as if she were revealing everything to me. All of her
hopes and dreams were on display and the sight of it was too much to
bear. I averted my gaze and tried to think of something else. Of
someone else. Raven was just some chick. My fuck buddy. Friends
with benefits. No strings. Nothing more than sex.
Then, she giggled and I looked back at her. Raven had pulled her legs
up and rested her feet against my shoulders.
"What are you doing?"
"Enjoying you," she said before adding with an edge to her voice,
"Is that a problem?"
"A better angle. What do I care?"

Raven heard my tone and reacted like I expected. "Jackass."
Grinning, I liked her irritation. Those walls kept me from getting too
close or her expecting too much.
"I' m using you," she said after a minute of me thrusting inside her.
"You're like a gigolo I enjoy for free."
"Sure, chesty."
Raven looked at her tits bouncing to my rhythm then smiled. "Oh,
yeah, I forgot they were there."
Closing her eyes, Raven pinched her nipples and seemed to forget I was
there. I thrust harder into her, but her eyes remained closed. I did notice
one hand slip between her legs to coax an orgasm.
Angry to be ignored, I thought to slap her hand away. I thought to flip
her over or shake her or hang her off the bed and fuck her upside down.
That would wake her up and make her pay attention. Imagining doing
just that, I started laughing.
"I am a jackass," I said, still laughing. "An idiot too."
"Shhh..." she whispered, eyes closed and pussy clenching. "Berate
yourself later. You're distracting me."
Smiling, I whispered her name and she finally opened her eyes. We
said nothing, but her gaze held mine as she came. It wasn't a powerful
orgasm. No great cries of passion, but it turned her to jelly under me.
Her legs slide back down and her body was soft under me.
"Tired, dumpling?" I asked when she watched me.
Raven nodded. "You wear a girl out in the best way, Vaughn."
"Hold on, sugar," I said, needing to let go and knowing it would be
rough.
Raven just rolled her eyes, but she did grip my forearms when my
thrusts became harder and faster. Our gazes met again and I sensed she
was mocking me. Something in those blue eyes was amused, but she
moaned when I thrust just right. As I got closer, I hit her just right again
and again until she lost her amused expression and cried out my name.
The sound of it was all I needed to come hard.
"Vaughn," she whispered as I rested on her and caught my breath. "My
beautiful, stupid as shit, Vaughn."
"That sweet talk will get you in trouble."

"I can't believe you're real," she said, kissing my shoulder. "You're like
a dream."
Swallowing hard, I looked at her and she met my gaze then winked.
"Don't give me that worried frown, bitch," she giggled. "I told you I'd
never fucked anyone as hot as you. It's like having a Playgirl model
with his cock inside me."
"You read a lot of Playgirl?" I asked, trying to pull out, but Raven
wrapped her legs around my hips and dug her heels into my thighs.
"Not yet. Let me just enjoy the feel of you a little bit more."
"I' m feeling a little objectified," I said when she closed her eyes and
squeezed at what was left of my erection.
"Shake it off," she whispered. "A man of your good looks should be
used to this by now."
When Raven opened her eyes and smiled at me, I kissed her forehead
then slipped out of her.
"Actually, women have always dated me for my intellect and
personality. The looks thing wasn't even on their radar."
Rolling over to face me, Raven snorted. "Intellect."
"Did you just call me stupid?"
"I barely finished high school, so I wouldn't worry about my opinion."
"I'll take that as a yes then," I said, staring at the ceiling. When her
injured hand rested on my chest, I examined the healing bite mark. "No
signs of rabies yet?"
"Nope. Don't think I'll go zombie either."
"I had a guy back in Tucson bite me in a bar fight. He was stoned or
high or whatever. Just a freak singing on the top of his lungs and I told
him to shut up. Suddenly, he was on me like a feral animal."
"Did he eat you?" Raven asked when I remained silent for too long.
"Are you dead now? Have I been fucking a ghost?"
We both laughed, but my humor ended as she sat up. I thought she
might leave. Instead, she looked at my cock then my face.
"I really like you," she said.
"Are you talking to me or my cock?"

"You. I've had better cock."
"That's it. I'm fucking you stupid now."
"I already mentioned how I barely finished high school. You fuck me
any dumber and I'll just be a drooling mass." "I can live with that."
Raven squirmed away. "You need to rest. I heard about the damage I
did to your hips." Reaching for her again, I missed when she slid off the
bed. "Can we order something to eat?"
"Oh, you're staying?"
Raven' s smile froze and I felt her pulling away emotionally. Even
needing her to create distance between us, I couldn't do it myself.
Instead of giving me what I needed, she smiled slow and sexy.
"If you want me to leave, you'll have to pry me off you."
"You're making me hard again."
"I suspect that's a problem for you a lot, baby."
"Not really. A couple hard fucks and I'm done. I fake like I'm asleep
and the chick falls asleep then I sneak out."
"Asshole."
"I know."
"I should do that to you tonight and see how you like it." "What makes
you think I'd care?"
Raven frowned at my tone then walked to my dresser. "I like wearing
your shirts. They're soft and smell like you." "Do you care what I
want?"
Raven shook her head. "Not really. I wasted a year on Dex and ended
up dumped by the loser. I'm going to enjoy you while I can."
"Fair enough," I said, resting against the headboard. "My shirt
swallows you up."
Her eyes found me and the expression on her face made my cock
twitch.
"I'm going to suck you soon. Prepare to have your mind blown."
Laughing, I looked at my cock which was pretty much ready to go.
Raven though was wandering around my bedroom. She found a few
CDs and smiled.
"The Ramones?" she asked, glancing at me. "You just got hotter."

"I listen to what I want."
Raven laughed. "Did someone make fun of your musical tastes?" "On
occasion." "Poor baby."
"Come back to bed. I'm getting cold."
Raven smiled then pushed herself up and sat on the dresser.
"Do you have any brothers or sisters?"
"Not that I know of. My mom never had any other kids and I don't
know about my dad."
"Do you look like your mom?" "No."
"So the sperm donor who made this amazing body could have made
other hot guys? I like that idea."
I frowned at her and a normal chick would be intimidated. Raven just
smiled again.
"The world is so damn ugly and this mug sure brightens the damn thing
up."
"Hell," I said, stroking my cock. Looking down at my erection, I
nodded at its pain. "She's a tease."
"Do you want to watch me fight tomorrow?" she asked, still on the
dresser.
"Won't me watching throw off your mojo? What if I'm your Jessica
Simpson?"
"I don't mind you being the blond bimbo, but I'm not cool with being
Tony Romo."
"I can't believe you know who Tony Romo is."
"Lots of girls watch football, Vaughn. You might know this if you didn'
t sneak out while they were sleeping."
Rolling my eyes, I had a feeling my cock would remain unloved. "Is
this where you make me feel guilty for using chicks?"
"No, I'm sure they were using you too. I don't suspect many women
meet you and think they'll take you home to mom and dad."
"What does that mean?"
"You're seriously getting offended at the idea that the motorcycle club
enforcer in the body of a gigolo might not be the best husband

material?"
"I'm more than a hot guy who can smash your face in."
Raven studied me. I knew she was watching, but I focused on the tattoo
on my wrist. One skull for every life I took until I eventually ran out of
space a year ago.
"I like you, Vaughn," she said softly. "You get that, right?"
Even knowing I was acting like a punk, I shrugged.
"I'm a smartass," she continued. "I've always been that way. When I
was a kid, I wasn't all that smart or sweet. I was pretty like a doll, but
my mom didn't have the patience to dress me up. I wasn't memorable in
any way then I said something smartass to a grownup and she laughed.
Other grownups laughed too when I' d get mouthy. They thought it was
cute. Eventually, it stopped being cute, but I had gotten in the habit of
being a bitch by then. I' m just teasing though. You get that, right?"
"I really don't care, Raven."
Sliding off the dresser, she walked to the bed then crawled closer. "Oh,
shit, are you going to cry?" she asked, grinning. "Please, don' t. I have
no tolerance for tears." I smiled. "Fuck off." "Let me kiss away that
pout."
When Raven kissed me, I fought the urge to return her affection. No, I
wanted to treat her like crap and piss her off. I wanted to shove her out
the door before I got to wondering where she was every minute or
making plans for the weekend or some other whipped shit. I wasn't in
the position to get so attached, but Raven was addictive and she was
rubbing this fact in my face now.
"I really do like you," she said, cupping my face. "Even though you're a
melodramatic bitch, I think you're funny. No guy has ever made me
laugh and you do it so easy. That's a gift."
"Shut up," I muttered.
"I didn't think I could be friends with a guy because they suck and I hate
them all. The only ones who don't piss me off are the ones conjoined
with my sister or friends. You should piss me off and you do a little, but
I want to be your friend."
Raven tugged off the tee and rubbed her body against mine.

Straddling me, she cupped my face with her soft full tits.
"I can be a good friend," she whispered. "Hold your pretty hair when
you puke. Tell you you're not fat when you can't fit into your pants.
Fuck you really soft when some mean girl hurts your precious
feelings."
"A mean girl is hurting my precious feelings right now, but I'd rather
fuck hard."
Raven ran her fingers through my hair as I sucked her nipple into my
mouth.
"I wish we could be more, Vaughn, but we're too fucked up to be more
to anyone. We'll just be friends. Even with my rude mouth, I do take
care of my friends."
Licking the nipple I'd tasted, I smiled at her. "You're the best friend I've
ever had."
Raven shared my grin as she lowered herself on my waiting erection.
We sighed in unison as her pussy swallowed me whole. As our bodies
worked together in a steady rhythm, Raven and I watched each other.
In a different world as different people, we might be something
amazing. In this particular world as these particular people, we would
be the best friends anyone had ever seen.

Chapter Eleven - Raven
Never did my mother watch us play roller derby. She never came to a
school event and she never met a single one of my teachers. The only
stepdad who ever showed interest was the creepy one. Shaun came to
my fifth grade Christmas show and clapped really loud. Afterwards, he
hugged me in the weird way I'd learned to ignore until he started
hugging Lark the same way.
Growing up, I knew a lot of kids didn't have such great parents either.
Ellsberg had a trashy section with all the trailer parks. While those kids
probably had plenty to bitch growing up, at least their drunk and
tweaker parents showed up for school functions. They might stumble
around. Or cheer like at a monster truck rally and embarrass their kids,
but they showed up. My mom didn't because she didn't want to and that
was what mattered. With my mother, her needs were above all others.
Even with Larry who controlled her every fart, she was happy because
she had a man. Margo lived her life in several stages. Stage one:
hunting for a man. Stage two: the honeymoon period of loving a man.
Stage three: the tension of a failing relationship. Stage four: depression
at losing a man. Back to stage one.
Men always left my mom and she never left them. Even if they were
pure shit, she clung to them. I was the same way. With Dex, I could
barely tolerate being in the same room with him, but I didn't ditch him.
I held on until he made a run and I couldn't catch up.
The sickness was generational.
One day, Vaughn would shake me loose. I would be outraged and
maybe trash his Harley. He'd call me a crazy bitch. I'd cry and whine
and swear off men. Everything was already written in stone and I
should aim for a little dignity. I needed to end things before he did and
Vaughn was close to walking away. He seemed restless when I spent
the night and was probably looking for his out already.
I wasn't letting go though. Not yet. Not until he pried me off him.
Vaughn was too perfect in a flawed world not to embarrass myself
over.
Dressed for the fight, I caressed my inner thighs and smiled at their

tenderness. Vaughn might want his space, but he still fucked me
senseless the night before. I also made him laugh so hard he nearly
choked. If I ignored his bad moods and occasional struggles for
freedom, we'd spent a great evening together.
"I'm going to crush your pretty face, bitch."
Turning around, I saw the redneck skank I was fighting. She had a few
inches on me and more than a few pounds. I'd seen her in the halls
before, but I'd never seen her fight. Not that it mattered since I got paid
whether I won or lost.
"You hear me, bitch."
"Save it for the cage," I muttered, turning back to tie my shoes.
"Listen up, bitch!"
"Shut the fuck up!" someone yelled nearby. "I have a headache."
Redneck bitch was about to mouth off until she caught sight of the
Dragon sitting up from the bench nearby.
"I' m trying to take a fucking nap between fights. Do you mind?" he
said, glaring at us.
"Why should I care?" she asked with less heat to her voice.
"Because I hit chicks."
We stared at Dragon whose dark hair hung in his eyes, giving him a
boyish look. With his hard body covered in wounds, new and old, there
was nothing boyish about the rest of him.
Redneck bitch shrugged. "Take your fucking nap," she muttered,
walking out.
"You're welcome," Dragon said to me.
Standing up, I frowned at him. "I didn't need your help."
"She's going to sit on you," he said then laughed. "The minute you start
beating her, she'll sit on you and win. I'd bet money on it."
Laughing too, I threw a towel at him. "It's not funny. Based on her
breath, I think she ate chili recently."
Dragon nearly fell off the bench laughing. "I don't look forward to
using the cage after you two."
All I knew about Dragon was that he was a college student, never lost a
fight except for the two times he was knocked unconscious, and the
girls all claimed he was gay because he wouldn't fuck them.

"I' m Raven," I said when we finished laughing. "Nick. I know your
sister. How is she feeling?" "Like a tiny person preggers with twins."
Nodding, Nick leaned back on the bench. "Not to be rude, but I really
do have a headache."
"Sure. I'll try to keep my screams for help to a minimum."
Closing his eyes, Nick grinned. "Just remember you get paid either
way. Plus, you're pretty enough to overcome stinking."
As Nick rested, I walked out to the cage where Redneck Bitch waited.
Turned out that not only did my opponent have a name, Trina also had a
fan club who chanted her name as we faced off.
Looking around, I realized no one was chanting my name. I spotted
Vaughn in the front row where Tucker's buddies sat. He was yelling,
but the crowd was so loud I can't tell what he was saying.
Vaughn looked hotter than I remember and I remembered him being
unbelievably fucking hot. With his hair pulled back in a ponytail, I saw
how badly he needed a shave and I imagined the stubble against my
skin. He wore a dark gray Harley shirt tight across his powerful chest. I
allowed my mind to return to his tattoos and thick blond chest hair
hidden under the tee. As he stood in the stands surrounded by lesser
beings, I spotted his dagger necklace. I remembered how it swayed as
he moved inside me.
While my mind was on Vaughn, Trina took her first shot before the bell
rang. Fortunately, her aim was off and she only clipped the end of my
nose. The bell rang and Trina rushed at me. She couldn't fight for shit,
but she was bigger and wanted to win more than I did. At that point, I
just didn't want her sitting on me in front of Vaughn.
Between the crowd noise and Trina's warrior yell, I could barely focus.
I still managed to dodge her a few times before I came up with a plan
that wouldn' t end with her using me as a chair.
Sure, I could punch her hard and knock her ass down. I knew how to
fight and it didn't involve screaming like an idiot and doing windmills
with my arms. On the other hand, if I hit her and she fell, I just knew
she'd land on me. Normally, I wouldn't care, but Vaughn was there and
I didn' t want him laughing at me.

Except he was laughing at me. I caught sight of him clapping and
laughing as I ran away from Trina. The fucker thought my horror was
hilarious and maybe it was, but I was still pissed. Now, I needed to win
and there was only one way to ensure I knocked the ever living shit out
of Trina Warrior Princess.
Rage.
Stored deep inside me, rage waited for the right or not so right moments
to break free. Now, was a perfect time, so I thought about Phoenix. The
way my little brother followed me around all of the time. How he
cuddled in my bed when the monsters under his bed scared him.
Mostly, I thought about how he looked dead in the pool with his little
truck floating nearby.
When all that rage rose up in me, I unleashed it on Trina who was still
chasing me around the cage.
The first punch took her off-guard. The second one to her jaw made her
stumble. Trina tried to hit me back and I think she might have gotten a
shot in, but I was too angry to care. Too many ugly memories haunted
me and I took them all out on her face.
Soon, she was on the ground, her body caving under my fists. Her cries
no longer of the warrior sort. Trina felt the wrath of my disappointing
life. Not just mine, but those of Lark and Phoenix. Before Axel pulled
me off my crying opponent, I found myself punishing the people who
would take Vaughn' s life one day soon. I hated them without knowing
their names or faces. I didn't care who they were or why they wanted
Vaughn dead. They were fucking evil and I wailed on Trina until Axel
dragged me out of the cage to the frenzied applause of the crowd.
I'd given them a show and taught Trina a lesson, but the rage didn't just
leave me once the fight was over. I felt so much pain and hate. The hot
water of the shower washed away the blood, mine and Trina's. My
inner pain was barely dulled.
The only way I calmed myself was to imagine those nights hiding in the
closet with Phoenix and Lark. Cuddled together, we were safe in each
other's arms as Margo and her asshole husband fought. I couldn't even
remember the fucker's name anymore. One day, I might forget the little
golden highlights in Phoenix's hair or the freckles on the tip of his

nose. I hated to think his life meant to little.
Overwhelmed with those memories, I wanted to see Lark and hold her
against me like I did in the closet. I couldn't though. I was banged up
and she was likely resting for the evening. Having ditched her to run
away, I was on the outside now.
Walking past Trina as her friend patched up her face, I just wanted to
get outside where I could breathe. In the hallway, people tried talking
to me. Yet, I heard nothing more than Lark's sobs as I jumped into the
pool to save Phoenix.
By the time I got into the dark night, I wiped hard at my wet eyes and
told myself to get a grip. He was dead and had been dead for longer
than he lived. That awful day couldn't be changed and he wasn't
coming back. Crying was pointless.
Hearing footsteps on the gravel parking lot, I glanced back and saw
Vaughn approaching. I turned away and wiped at my eyes with more
vigor. Crying was embarrassing enough without Vaughn watching.
"What's wrong?" he asked.
Something about his tone and the scent of his chocolate body spray
relaxed me too much. I dove against him and hugged him the way I
couldn't hug Lark. Vaughn tensed when I first grabbed for him then
relaxed against me. His arms wrapped around me and he stroked my
head. Soaking in his strength, I was safe with Vaughn and I needed to
feel safe.
"I' m glad you were here," I mumbled against his chest.
Vaughn tensed and I finally let him go. Staring up at him, I saw
something in his expression that I hadn't seen before. Vaughn stepped
back. Not in a real obvious way, but I felt the distance between us. It
killed me that he wanted out. Well, not out. We weren't together and
never would be. I knew this fact, but maybe he didn't know I knew.
"I get the score," I told Vaughn. "I know we're just friends. You look at
me like I'm in love with you, but I left town and people got used to me
being gone. My friends all have men and some have kids. Lark has
Aaron and needs to rest. The people I'm used to relying on are busy
with their lives, so I grab onto Bailey and you. That's all it is."
"I know."

"Do you? The look on your face seems like you think I'm a needy bitch.
I mean, if you're just sick of having me around or need a break or
whatever, I get that. If you're thinking I'm holding onto you because I
expect something from you like dating or whatever, then don't worry."
Vaughn looked at me for a long time. I suspected he was wondering
how to tell me to fuck off. He had that look on his face and I waited for
him to say the words.
"Do you like to bowl?" he asked.
Remembering what Aaron said, I nearly jumped up and down in relief.
Instead, I only shrugged. "Sure. I'm pretty good too. Why?"
"We could go bowling. I should warn you that I'm like championship
bowler good. I'll crush you."
"If you're so good, why didn't you go pro?"
"Peaches, don't be stupid. I'm too damn hot to be a pro bowler. I don' t
even have a gut to work with."
Caressing his hard stomach, I smiled. "I'm sorry your good looks kept
you from your dream."
A grinning Vaughn cupped my face and kissed me hard and hungry. I
met his need with my own. Forgetting about friends with benefits or
boundaries, I only knew he felt strong and safe. He felt like home and I
didn't want to let go.

Chapter Twelve - Vaughn
I grew up in a bowling alley. My mom started as the cashier when I was
little and ended up as a manager by the time I was in middle school.
Every time we moved, the one constant was the bowling alley. Every
evening, I did my schoolwork there, ate my dinner there, and
entertained myself there. My afterschool friends were all league
people, mostly the elderly. My father figures were the older guys who
showed me how to bowl. Often the regulars would help me with school
projects and they were the ones who threw me birthday parties when
my mom couldn't. All of it ended when Mom became Ted's old lady
and my life revolved around the motorcycle club instead of the alley.
Stupid as it was, bowling was a special thing for me. I didn't take chicks
on dates to the alley. Ever. Taking Raven to the alley was a mistake. I
was already having trouble separating what I wanted from her and what
I could have. I need more barriers between us, not less. Except when I
asked if she wanted to bowl, she was too excited for me to change my
mind.
I reached the alley first on my Harley because Raven didn't have the
luxury of maneuvering around traffic. Sitting on my bike, I told myself
taking her to the alley didn't mean anything. Nothing with Raven was
real. It was easy fun. She was just a friend and I bowled with friends.
Raven nearly bounced from where she parked her old jeep to where I
waited. I wanted to play it cool, but she looked too perfect. Beautiful
and excited, Raven was a sight. I also saw the redness around her eyes
from when she cried before I got outside. I didn't know what brought on
the tears and didn't have the courage to ask. I also noticed a few new
bruises rising up on her beautiful face.
Thinking about her in the cage, I was shocked by how crazy she
seemed. The way she went from running away from her larger
opponent to attack mode was impressive, but a little scary. Fortunately,
I found crazy, scary chicks hot.
"I haven't been here since I moved back," Raven said, smiling up

at me.
"Prepared to be crushed," I said, attempting for distance between
us.
Raven ignored my tone and slid up against me. I felt the heat from her
skin and the dampness from her clean hair. I thought about how she
laughed when in the shower with me. I recalled how her eyes watched
me before we dozed off in bed. I hated her for being irresistible.
"Can we get pizza or hot dogs?" she asked, digging her fingers under
my shirt and teasing the skin. "I'll pay."
"What about mooching?" I asked, fixing her messy hair.
"I reward my friends when they support me. I was feeling crappy and
you gave me a great hug. You deserve a free hot dog."
"Is it wrong that I got hard when you said hot dog?" I asked, leaning
down to nip at her pouty lips.
"No more wrong than how wet my panties are from thinking about your
hot dog, Turner and Cock."
"I like Cocker and Hoochie better."
"It does have a nice ring to it, but let's bowl first."
Grinning, I took her hand. I knew we were acting like a couple, but that
was fine. With a line of Harleys in the parking lot, I suspected we'd
have eyes on us. Well, eyes on Raven and I didn't want the assholes
getting any ideas.
The minute we walked inside, the assholes noticed Raven. In her sweat
shorts and a light green tank, Raven was showing off a lot of flesh. I
would have enjoyed the view and didn't blame them for doing it too.
Except she was with me and that made her mine. No matter how
temporary our relationship might be, the fuckers were leering at my
woman.
Once Raven had her shoes and ball, I said I would order us food. Before
I made it to the concession stand, I stopped to say hi to the
out-of-towners. The head guy looked like Santa Claus after a few years
on meth and some time in the slammer. He tried to shake my hand and
might have been ready to compliment my hot date. I never gave him a
chance.
"I' m Jeff," the head fucker said.

"I'm Outlaw. If you look at my girl one more time, I'll cut your fucking
faces off to make a puppet show for her. Do you understand?" "Man..."
"Do you understand?" I asked again.
"Fine, asshole. Hard to believe such a nice guy has a contract on his
head."
"I killed a few guys to get that contract and I'll kill a few more tonight.
No skin off my ass if I remove your fucking faces."
Turning away, I left them to bitch or maybe jump me. They played it
safe and let me walk away. I ordered a dozen dogs and two big sodas
then returned to Raven.
Sitting in one of the swivel chairs, Raven had her legs parted and was
swaying back and forth. An absent-minded seductress in a place filled
with pervy old men and barely behaving bikers. I wondered if she had
any idea what she did to men. Raven looked at me and smiled. She
knew.
"Did you scare those losers?" she asked, standing next to me and
looking over the food. "Would it be wrong to say I got a little wet when
I saw you glaring at them?"
Grinning, I kissed the top of her head. "I get you so horny, don't I,
Gidget?"
"I like that one. Makes me seem cute." "You are cute."
"As a button?"
"I wouldn't go that far."
Mouth full of hot dog, she grinned then wiped her hands on her shorts
and picked up the ball. I half watched her position and form. Mostly, I
watched her sway her ass at me. Raven rolled and managed to take
down eight pins. She smiled at me like a kid looking for approval. The
expression on her face killed me and I fucking clapped. How could I
not?
Raven' s smile softened and I saw such vulnerability in her eyes. I could
crush her tonight. For whatever reason, she was open to me more than
ever before. If I treated her cruelly, I could crush her and end this
pointless dance between us. In my life, I could have done many evil

things and never did. I wouldn't hurt Raven. At least, not tonight.
After knocking down a pin on her second try, she joined me at the
table.
"Will you wiggle your ass at me now?" she asked, batting her lashes.
"Hell yeah. Try not to come at the sight of it."
Raven spit up her soda and kept giggling while I shook my ass while
aiming up my shot. When I made a strike, she clapped and bounced for
me.
A few hot dogs, soda refills, and strikes later, Raven was on my lap
nibbling at my ear.
"What were you yelling during the fight?" she whispered. "I saw you
yelling, but couldn't hear you over the noise."
"I wasn't yelling. I was cawing."
"Huh?"
"Like a raven caws."
As Raven laughed into the crook of my neck, I wrapped her tightly in
my arms. She felt so good and I swear she was wearing my body spray.
When her eyes met mine, she smiled.
"What happened in the fight tonight?" I asked. "It was like you flipped
a switch and were suddenly a raging bull."
"I just thought about everything that pissed me off in life and I made it
the chick's fault."
"Well, you made her pay. She nailed you in the jaw at one point and
you didn' t even blink. It was crazy," I said then added, "Sexy crazy."
Raven traced my lips before her fingers caressed my stubbled cheeks
and jaw. As her fair blue eyes studied my face in the most relaxed way,
everything around us felt too loud now. We were sharing a private
unspoken moment in a very public place.
"I wanted to work at a bowling alley," I told her and Raven met my
gaze. "Growing up, I wanted to own one really. I loved the sound of the
ball hitting the pins. This place is a lot like the ones my mom worked in
when I was a kid and it feels like home to me. Nothing else feels like a
home. Not anymore. In Ellsberg, I'm an outsider and my apartment
feels

temporary. In fact, when I came here, I was put up in the building
where Kirk keeps his visiting friends. Like when the big wigs from
Memphis come, they stay in the building. That's why it's so empty. The
Johanssons own it and no one there is planning to stick around. I've
lived there for three years and it still feels like a place I'm visiting. The
alley feels like home."
Raven watched me in a way that told me she understood. Not the way a
pretty girl fake sympathizes with the guy she likes. No, Raven knew
what if felt like to be on the outside.
"I have a cabin though," I continued as she caressed my face. "Kirk sold
me a chunk of his land in the woods and I built a cabin out there. I only
go a few times a month. It's mine in a way few things are."
"You go out there alone?" I nodded and Raven sighed. "I'm afraid I' ll
end up the girl everyone feels sorry for. Like in a few years, Lark and
all my friends will be settled and I'll be the loser they invite along out of
pity. I don't want to be that person, but I don't know how not to be her.
I' m not good at anything besides fighting and roller derby. I can't do
even the most basic math. Like I'm just stupid about that stuff and I'm a
shitty waitress. I have no skills. Also, I have a way of ruining good
things and holding onto bad things. I don't know how to be different."
Raven blinked a few times and exhaled raggedly. "I don't know why I
told you that."
"Because we're friends and both losers."
"You're no loser."
"I fucked up and ruined my life. Now, I wait for the bullet to my brain.
That's not exactly winner behavior." "Fucked up how?"
I shook my head. "I don't want to talk about it. We were having fun and
I got all feelings and shit."
Raven smiled softly. "It must be something in the water because I got
all feelings earlier too. Feelings really aren't our friend, but I am your
friend, Vaughn. If you need anything, I'll help you. I mean, I already
give you all those mind blowing orgasms, but I can be helpful in other
ways."
I let my hand tease the soft flesh on her inner thigh. "Let's finish up

our game then I'll take you to my place for some of those mind blowing
orgasms."
"Hot damn," she murmured, biting my earlobe.
A few rounds later, we walked into the muggy evening. I had my mind
on making her sigh, giggle, and maybe scream. Yeah, most definitely
scream.
The bikers from inside were sitting on their hogs when we got outside
and I knew they were waiting for us. Raven was nuzzling my arm and I
think she was whispering a love song to my cock. Giggling, she didn't
notice the men until we were nearly to my Harley.
"We're looking at your woman," Jeff said. "You gonna cut off our faces
now?"
"Sure, why not?" I announced full of confidence, pushing Raven
behind me. "Who wants to go first?"
"Oh, I don't think we're playing by your rules. In fact, we were thinking
that the bounty on your head would be a pretty nice chunk of change for
our trip to Atlantic City."
The killer in me knew these fuckers were ready to shoot me down. I
wasn't ready to die though. Not with Raven behind me, vulnerable to
their bullets and dirty thoughts. I'd seen what happened to the Smith
sisters in their one week with a small nothing biker gang like this one. I
wouldn't allow Raven to suffer the same fate.
"Let the girl go and I'll make killing me easy for you," I said and Jeff
just grinned.
"There are eight of us and one of you. Easy isn't a concern."
"She's living at the Johansson place. If you hurt her, Kirk will put a
contract on your head and there will be no place to hide."
"If we were worried about Kirk, we wouldn't be willing to kill his man
in his territory. The old man is retired and his kid is in charge. Word has
it, Cooper is no Kirk."
Talking my way out of trouble wasn't a skill I possessed. My sweet
talking worked with chicks, not sick fucks like these guys. I was
already thinking about how fast I could reach my gun before they
pulled theirs when a shot took out the front tire of Jeff's Harley.
"I texted Judd," Raven yelled from behind me. "He's coming and

he's bringing help with him. That's what he said. He's brining hell and
that means you're going to fucking die."
While the fuckers had their guns ready, mine hung from my hand by
my thigh.
"Things are going to get bloody. You ready to die?" I asked Jeff.
Raven peeked out from behind me and showed off her big fucking
Magnum that I assumed Bailey gave her.
"My next shot is for the head," she said and I heard the fear in her voice.
"I'm not letting them take me. I'm killing them first."
"That's my Hoochie," I whispered and I could almost feel her smile.
Backing off, Jeff looked at his dead Harley and cursed.
"Fine, you can live for now, but how long before the next guy just
shoots you? Your days are numbered, asshole."
"I know, but tonight you're the one riding bitch on the back of
someone's Harley. When Judd catches up to your gang, you can act as a
human shield for your buddy."
Jeff' s expression flickered between the desire to live and the hunger for
my blood. If his guys opened fire, it was just as likely a few of them
would end up dead or injured. The ones who lived would need to race
out of town to avoid facing Judd. As much as Jeff wanted to kill me, he
wanted to live more.
Raven held her gun on the bastards until they rode away. I wanted
nothing more than to reward the brave little chick with hours in bed,
serving her every desire. Instead, I had nearly gotten her killed.
"Are you okay?" I asked, kissing her before I could even finish.
Raven attached herself to me and I had the urge to run away with her.
Forget all about the Devils and Reapers. Just live a life hidden away
with Raven. Even if I could betray the Reapers after they put their asses
on the line for me, I knew Raven couldn't ditch her sister.
"Thanks for having my back," I said, leading her to the jeep. "I need
you to get in and speed your ass to the Johanssons'. Keep your gun
close and don't stop for anyone."
"What about you?"
"I have to chase down those guys with Judd. You did text him,

right?"
"Yeah, but there's only two of you."
"Raven, those fuckers came into Reapers' territory and shit on it. We
have to at least run them out of town with the fear of death on their
asses. Go home and I'll see you around."
"See me around?" she asked as I pushed her into the driver's seat.
"What does that mean?"
"It means I almost got you killed. This shit between us was supposed to
be fun. Nothing fun about having you gang raped because I fucked up
years ago. Now, go home."
Raven' s expression tore me apart. I knew she felt the way I did. We' d
passed simple fun and were something else now. I wanted a chance
with Raven, but I wasn't in a position to do anything more than fun.
Tonight, I'd nearly spilled her blood along with mine. Pretend time was
over.

Chapter Thirteen - Raven
I still couldn't believe it. Vaughn kissed me goodbye and walked away.
I' d been willing to kill to protect him. Die too, yet he forced me to leave
him and he hadn't even called. I only knew what happened with the
bikers when Bailey told me the next morning.
Vaughn and Judd and a few other guys chased the motorcycle club.
Apparently, the assholes drove their Harleys as if their asses were on
fire because they were out of Kentucky within two hours. Kirk put out
word if they ever entered his territory again that they were dead men.
By morning, Judd and Vaughn were back in Ellsberg. By the next
morning, I realized Vaughn wasn't calling me. By the third morning,
after I'd texted him and left messages he didn't respond to, I accepted
we were over.
With the help of bags of mini-Snickers, bottles of Whiskey, and too
much Nicorette, I handled his rejection well. As a big girl, I knew men
could turn off their feelings. We were just fuck buddies and never
would have been more. I could find another hot guy to rub up against
without commitment. Problem solved.
Unfortunately, next to Vaughn, every man in the world was a gross
loser who made me vomit in my mouth. Missing the sexy jerk, I also
resented how he'd ruined other guys for me.
With a new fuck buddy out of the question, I decided to do a lot of girl
bonding. Bailey was game since she was back to feeling lonely and
insecure.
"Maybe celibacy isn't working for you?" I suggested as we sat on her
bed.
Bailey leaned her head against my shoulder and stared at our freshly
pedicured toes. Along with Sawyer, we went out early for muffins and
decided to get mani/pedis. My hands were a mess from fighting,
cracked and bruised. They looked vastly better with my pretty pink
nails.
"I'm missing the hope of finding someone special more than I miss the
fucking," Bailey finally muttered. "I don't want a fuck buddy. I want

a real boyfriend."
"School will start up and a new crop of guys will show up. You'll find
the best one and he'll fall for your hot body and great laugh. You two
will be a match made in heaven then I'll secretly hate you because I' m
jealous."
Bailey grinned. "I'm surprised more people aren't jealous of me. I' m
really hot." "True."
"I wish I had bigger boobs."
As usual, I was torn between being Bailey's honest friend and her
protective big sister. Honesty won out.
"This is where I should say big boobs don't matter, but I actually like
my girls. They made me look curvier than I am."
Bailey rolled on her stomach and studied my boobs. It was weird, but I
knew she was just evaluating and didn't plan to make a horny move.
"I kept hoping my tits would kick in before I was finished with puberty.
I've been in denial about finishing for a while. It's time to accept these
are as good as I'm getting."
"You're still hot, Bailey. If I was a guy, I'd bang you sideways."
Laughing, she rested her head on the pillow. "You'd be a hot guy too.
Too bad I'm so shallow. If I could fuck an ugly guy, maybe I'd be in
love already."
"Maybe, but you can't force these things. The right guy, ugly or hot, is
waiting for you. He's probably wondering why he can't find his special
chick and here you are lowering your standards. It'll happen."
"You miss Vaughn, don't you?"
I nodded. "He was really great in bed."
"I bet. He has big hands."
Giggling, we rested in bed without speaking for a long time. I was
thinking about Vaughn while hopefully Bailey wasn't thinking about
him. I would hate to have to punch her.
"I think I messed up," Bailey whispered. "I think I was too much of a
bitch and I scared off all the good guys already. Now, I'm stuck with
losers."

"You're not too much of a bitch. You're the right amount of bitch."
"Now, but you didn't know me before. I was pretty bitchy. I think I' ve
ruined my chance at love."
Frowning at her, I sat up against the headboard. "You're nineteen. You
have a long time to find your man and make him worship you."
Bailey gave me a weak smile. "I just don't want to have messed up and
ruined things."
"Are we talking about a particular guy?"
"No."
I couldn't tell when Bailey was lying. Well, when she was mouthing off
loudly I could tell. In these quiet moments, she was harder to read.
"When I was a kid," I told her as she rested her head on my leg and I
played with her hair, "I wanted to be on a softball team. We had just
moved to a new neighborhood and there was a girl on our street that
was into softball. I thought she was cool and wanted to be like her. I
asked my mom for a glove, ball, and bat for my birthday. She used to
do these stupid nod things like she was stoned or something. She
wasn't, but she liked to have people think she was. People don't ask
much from you if they think you're dumb or stoned. Anyway, I asked
and she said yes."
Wrapping a lock of Bailey's soft hair around my finger, I remembered
how Vaughn played with my hair as we dozed off in bed. When he said
my hair smelled like peaches, he would smile. I missed his smile.
"Anyway, my mom got me roller skates instead. When I asked why,
she said she couldn't find a pink glove. She saw the cute skates and
thought I'd like them more. Why would I like it more? Because they're
pink? Because girls have to like pink?"
"I like pink."
"Me too. It's my favorite color, but that's not the damn point. It's that
my mom made assumptions and never paid attention to who I was," I
said then glanced around Bailey's room. "Of course, I ended up getting
into roller derby which is way better than stupid softball."
"You can't knock people down in softball."
"No, you can't," I said, smiling. "I guess, the point is sometimes

fucked up shit can end up working out. You just never know until the
end of the story."
Bailey sat up on the bed next to me. "I'm thinking about taking business
courses. I said I would because Tucker said I was too dumb and I
wanted to prove him wrong. Mostly, I wanted to throw a fit because I
don't need a stupid person telling me I'm stupid. Now, I think I might
want a business degree. I could help Cooper by running the legitimate
stuff our family owns. Do you think I'm a natural born leader?"
Sizing up Bailey, I shook my head. "No, but you're young and still
figuring things out. By the time you graduate with your fancy degree,
you'll know exactly who you are and people will follow you."
Bailey grinned, looking so young in that moment. "I like when you tell
me things like that. Sometimes, when Lark or Tawny say nice things, I
feel like they might be faking it. More Lark than Tawny, but I think
they want me to feel good about myself even when I suck. They can tell
me when to shut up when I'm being a bitch, but when I'm a loser, they
lie. You don't."
"That's Lark's fault. She is usually standing next to me, so I can say
mean shit and she'll fix it with her sweet smile. When I'm on my own, I
tend to get in trouble."
"Me too. I'm better when Tawny's around to keep me from telling
people to suck my balls."
"Guys laugh when you say that, don't they?"
Bailey nodded.
"I get that a lot too. Men laugh at my mouth because they think I won't
take a shot at them."
"I like shooting things. Not animals, but some people are okay to
shoot."
Sawyer ran into the room and dove onto the bed. "I can't wait to get my
gun, so I can shoot losers."
"You going to be a cleaner when you grow up?" I asked as Sawyer
rested between us.
"I' m going to be a pilot. I told Uncle Cyrus I wanted to travel all over
the world and he said I should become a flight attendant." Sawyer's
face twisted into a disgusted frown. "Screw him. Pilots make more

money, get to fly big planes, and have a better uniform. I'm going to be
a
pilot."
"You've got it all figured out," Bailey said, sounding a little depressed
now.
"Sure. Life's not hard."
"Just wait."
"Don't be a whiner," Sawyer muttered, frowning at her sister. "In five
years, you'll forget you were a whiner. I'll be a teenager and I'll
remember you were a whiner and I'll tell you and you'll lie and say you
weren't. I should get the phone and make a video as proof."
"You shouldn't fight with each other," I said, sliding off the bed.
"You're sisters and that's a magical thing. Lark and I are different, but
we're the only ones who had each other's backs. You are the youngest
and you're girls. You should be best friends and fight for each other."
As Sawyer and Bailey considered teaming up against the world, I dug
around in my purse for another Nicorette. Missing Vaughn made the
urge to smoke worse. I kept waiting for the need to pass, but I still
wanted a cigarette. I also wanted Vaughn. While all of the need was
making me cranky, I put it into neutral for a girls' night at Farah's
house.
Back in high school, I never imagined Cooper would end up in
suburbia. Not that his large updated house was wussy. A guy definitely
lived there. Despite the pretty front porch and family pictures on the
walls, the dark paint colors plus giant leather couches and black
furniture reeked of male taste.
With her dark hair wrapped up into a braid, Farah sat on the couch with
Lark's head resting on a pillow in her lap. My sister looked tiny curled
up under a blanket. The two pregger pals were miserable together.
Since Tawny brought Lark a blanket, the pixy hadn't moved.
Bailey tiptoed past the couch, tripped over a Rottweiler, and cursed
loud enough to wake Scarlet. Despite the noise, Lark remained
perfectly still while Farah only opened half an eye.
"It's like they've been hit with the plague," Maddy said, making BLT
sandwiches. "These always made me feel better."
"I thought cravings were different from every chick," Bailey asked,
glaring at the dog as if it was always his plan to trip her.

"All a girl can do is to try different things until they find what helps
them with their nausea."
"Because I'm nice and care about people now, I'll hold their hair while
the preggos puke. I'll also consider cleaning up the mess. Can't promise
anything."
"I'll help you," Sawyer announced. "Helping Bailey is my new
thing."
Picking up the crying baby, I walked with a slight bounce. I knew how
to soothe babies from when I'd babysat for a neighbor in high school.
No doubt, she assumed I would call my boyfriend and party. I even
suspected she had one of those nanny cams because when she returned
from her night out, she was full of praise for my amazing babysitting
skills.
Scarlet watched me with bright blue eyes. Her soft hair was a light
blonde and I realized she looked the way my baby with Vaughn might.
Crap.
Thinking about babies was a bad sign, but I couldn't stop myself.
Holding this perfect little creature, I returned to my childhood dream of
being a mom. Unlike Lark, I couldn't admit I wanted to be a mother
without people laughing or giving me the look. People always assumed
I' d suck as a mom and my kid would be taken away by the state. They
imagined my bratty kids freaking out at restaurants or hanging out of
the car while I screamed at traffic. No one saw me as mother material,
but I had it in me. If I had been in charge that day, Phoenix would be in
high school. Flirting with girls and being stupid, he'd have his whole
life ahead of him. Instead, a loser who looked the part of a good dad
had been in charge. He left Phoenix to die like I never would have.
I learned that day my heart could break and never heal, yet I could keep
living. I also learned looks were deceiving. Good men might be evil
and bitchy women could be generous.
Like most babies, Scarlet liked me. I had a way about me that calmed
them. Who knew what magic I possessed, but it was one of my few
qualities. One day, I would hold Lark's babies and they would stare at
me with the same warmth I saw in Scarlet's eyes. I just wished I could
find a guy who looked at me like Aaron looked at Lark. Not horny, but

full of love. Real affection based on wanting me happy, not on wanting
a hot girlfriend.
Vaughn wasn't that guy. He couldn't be that guy with all his baggage
and walls up. At the bowling alley, he lowered his guard and showed
me the teddy bear underneath his indifferent grizzly. The guy I saw
wanted more from life.
Life wasn't playing by Vaughn's terms.
While we didn't have a shot at forever, Vaughn and I would make one
hell of a hot kid together. I even wondered if maybe I should use him as
a sperm donor. This idea, while appealing, made me uneasy. Getting
knocked up by a random guy at a bar was one thing. Using a guy I cared
about crossed a line I didn't realize I had.
"I want a baby one day," Bailey said, having been silent for too long
and needing attention. "I don't care if it's a boy or a girl. I just want a
baby that looks like my hot husband. My man will be so great that
everyone will be jealous."
Grinning at her, I ran a finger over Scarlet's soft hair as everyone fell
silent again. I walked around the room, bouncing gently and singing
Wagon Wheel. Even with my crappy voice, the baby gurgled happily at
me.
Nearby, Tawny was less amused. "The minute I got married, people
started bugging us about when we were having a baby. Like we
couldn't be happy together and enjoy being newlyweds without
needing a kid. What's the rush?"
Farah frowned at Tawny who rolled her eyes. "Not that there's anything
wrong with starting right away," she said then glanced at Maddy and
Lark who watched me. "Or before. That's the thing. There's no right
way. Babies can come whenever or not at all. It doesn't mean you're
doing something right by following someone else's schedule."
"So do you want kids?" Maddy asked, holding a glass while Lark
sipped tea.
"Yeah, sure. Not now. I'm eighteen and still figuring out my problems.
I can't be in charge of someone else. Having Judd and Farah and you
guys is all the family I need right now. One day, we'll give kids a try. Or
not. Maybe we'll just decide not to and that should be okay."

Maddy had Farah sip the tea then she set the glass on the table. Sitting
down next to Bailey, she smiled.
"I love being a mom, but I' m not planning on doing it again for a long
time."
Bailey snorted. "Did you tell Tuck that, so he won't mess with your
pills again?"
"Yeah. I made him promise not to screw with my shit again. I told him
I want to focus on Scarlet and make her as happy as possible. I would
worry about her being lonely, but Farah and Lark are preggers. I know
she'll grow up with cousins close to her in age. Plus, I'm thinking about
starting a daycare in a year or so when we're settled into a house. I love
kids and I want to make money too. That way, I'm not just living off
Tuck." Pausing, she glanced quickly at Bailey who was resting her
head on Maddy's shoulder. "I know some people think I'm with Tuck
because of his money. They think I wanted the baby for the same
reason. I would probably think that too about another girl in my
situation. It's not that way though. I love Tuck. I know he's dumb as shit
and loud and rough, but he's also smart sometimes. He's sweet too.
When I got the flu back when we were dating, he brought me soup and
crackers and cleaned up my puke. How many guys would do that shit
for a chick they were banging? Not many, but Tuck thought I was
special. Sometimes, I worry he'll cheat because he looks at girls, but I
tested and he won't."
"Tested?" I asked and everyone focused on Maddy.
"I knew this hot chick from school and I had her flirt with him. Tuck
could have gotten away with it. I was really fat then and I think some
guys would have cheated. I really thought he would too, but I needed to
know. Not that I would leave him if he cheated, but I wanted to be
ready for that kind of life with him. Tuck blew her off though. Sent her
to Vaughn."
When everyone looked at me, I rolled my eyes like I didn't care who he
banged. I did care though. In fact, I wondered who Vaughn was with
that very moment and it was killing me to think of him with someone
else. The idea that I hadn't mattered and he'd do another chick made me
want to scream at the world.
Returning to Ellsberg, I had a plan to give up men and avoid my

sickness. Instead, I met Vaughn who was amazing and frustrating. He
offered me a chance at happiness, yet was living on borrowed time.
Life saw me digging my way out of a shithole and it kicked me back
down. No matter if life envisioned a long term plan for me, I was
holding a
grudge.

Chapter Fourteen - Vaughn
The Bad News Bears or whatever the hell the MC was called must have
broken every speed limit to avoid getting caught by us. We chased until
the Kentucky state border and Kirk called us back. I would have
followed them to hell because the fuckers had ruined the lies I told
myself. Spilling their blood might make it worth losing out on the
fantasy of Raven and me. For a man with limited time, I needed every
moment of the lie.
Kirk made threats against the club and he didn't wait for Cooper to
okay shit. This led to tension between father and son. I felt the stress on
Cooper when we stood outside an abandoned storefront in downtown
Ellsberg. Tucker pretended to be pissed off too, but he kept checking
out his phone to see messages and pics from Maddy. Fatherhood made
the idiot rather adorable.
"I bought this place so I'll have my own spot," Cooper muttered, arms
crossed tightly, eyes narrowed like the building was his enemy. "The
old timers want to hang at Whiskey like it's the good old days. We' re
the new guard and we need a new place."
"It looks like a store."
"Pop has a bar. I want an office. I have three years left of school and a
kid on the way. I need a place where I can study and have kids running
around and still do my business. This place will be that."
"Who's doing the work?" Tucker asked, fiddling with his phone.
"Tad's wife Toni is doing the plans. She was an architect years ago.
Lark' s stepbrother is in charge of the construction. Dylan had the
contract to work on the city's projects, but Daddy Fucktwat got it
cancelled because someone forgot to kiss his ass. Anyway, Lark asked
me to help Dylan out. Batted her lashes and everything."
We walked inside the place and I figured it wasn't much to get excited
about. An old bakery with an office in the back. The place smelled like
old bread and maybe mold.
"He's going to tear it down to the studs and build it back up. Put the
official shit in the front. Get me a chick to do the books and crap. In

the back, I'll have a spot for the kid and an office for me and Farah. I
want to separate my business from my home. Having guys show up to
talk at my place isn't happening anymore."
"Crack the whip," Tucker said, patting his brother's shoulder, before
playing soccer with a beer can on the ground. "Being downtown is
cooler. Better places to eat."
While watching Tucker kick the can into the back, I considered asking
Cooper about the Devils. One glance at his frown and I decided to keep
my mouth shut. Judd didn't say anything either. Not then, but later as
we hit balls at the batting cage, the enforcer got chatty.
"Fuck this waiting around shit. I know Cooper wants to make the right
decision, but he's not making any damn decision. He wants Kirk to
signal the right move. Who says there is a right move? Life doesn't
work that way. Right. Wrong. Life just is. Instead of fucking around,
we need to make a decision and do something."
Swinging the bat, I hit the ball square on. "I should be the one who does
something. Go there and handle what needs handling."
"Man, they'd see you coming. No way do they make these moves and
not worry about you coming for them."
"What makes you think they wouldn't worry about you?"
"True, but I could have another reason for traveling."
Studying his face, I saw Judd the enforcer, but he was more than just a
killer these days.
"What about Tawny? I asked, taking a swing and missing. "Fuck."
Glancing at Judd, I saw the newer Judd who was frowning.
"Love's a burden," he muttered.
"Your woman is a burden?"
"I hold her life in my hands. I fuck up and it's not just me that pays. My
mom can live without me. She survives without Waylon in her life. She
could go on if I was dead or wronged her. Tawny's not Mom."
"She's a tough broad. Tawny, I mean. Not that I think you should go
blazing into Tucson and handle my issues, but Tawny isn't the lost little
girl she once was."
When Judd said nothing, I dodged the incoming pitch to walk to the
gate. "What?" I asked when he just stared at his hands.

"She's still doing therapy and can go by herself now. She's stronger in a
million little ways, but I see this look on her face sometimes. I see that
and I know. She's not with me in Ellsberg. Her mind is back in the dark
place and I feel her slipping away. Even with the meds and the shrink,
my angel needs me to keep her strong. For me, it's a burden, but one I
can't live without."
Normally, I would tell Judd that he was whipped and mock his lack of
balls. Not this time. The look on his face wasn't one I saw often. In that
moment, I knew his angel held his life in her hands too. They only
existed together and were useless apart.
Out loud, I'd say they were idiots. Truth be told, I envied them. I
wanted a woman for real. I wanted a specific woman, but I didn't have a
right to her. Raven needed a man who gave her hope. A man she could
trust and I wasn't that guy.
"Fuck," I said, leaving Judd to sulk. "If I don't go there to kill them,
they'll come here to kill me. Doesn't make sense to spill blood in
Ellsberg."
"Leave it to Cooper," Judd said quietly, his voice barely audible over
the noise around us. "For a little while longer anyway."
"Not much longer. There are too many people here I need to protect."
Raven remained in my thoughts as we finished up at the cages. After
Judd left to pick up Tawny from Farah's house, I drove around town
without a destination. Eventually, I stopped at the parking lot outside
Big Bob's Skating Center.
Inside, Raven was training with her roller derby team. As much as I
wanted to watch her, I remained outside. I thought about her husky
voice and the way she smiled for me. The chick was tough.
Thunderdome, roller derby, taking a shot at those assholes, she could
handle a guy with my giant ego problems.
Parked behind a van, I had enough cover to watch Raven leave the
practice. Her blonde hair was tied up into a messy ponytail and she
wore another tank top and shorts. Casually sexy, Raven was perfect. If I
ever got the Devils thing dealt with, I was making her mine. At the very
least, I was taking my stalking to the next level.

Chapter Fifteen - Raven
Even with the air conditioning on full blast, I was overheated and
cranky. A long day in the sun with Bailey and Sawyer left them tanned
and me crispy. Once I woke up from a nap to find my skin the shade of
tomato, they babied me as much as possible. I'd relaxed in the hot tub
while they coated my red face with lotion. As the moon appeared, I
stumbled upstairs to pout alone.
Staring at the TV, I wanted a cigarette. I wanted to call Lark and whine.
I wanted to get Vaughn drunk and take advantage of him. This last
image made me laugh. Even if I could maneuver his drunk ass up the
stairs and into my bed, I was too sunburned to have him touch me.
Hours later when I heard a knock at the door, I barely mustered up the
strength to answer. Through the small front window, I found Vaughn
leaning against the railing outside the apartment. He wore a wife beater
and tight jeans that clung to his hard body. He clearly hadn't shaved in
days, looking rough and sexy as hell. In the light of the moon, I saw his
wolf tats and imagined his warm skin under my touch.
Opening the door, I stepped out then closed it behind me. "Stop by for a
booty call?"
Vaughn' s miserable expression made me want to hug the jackass.
Despite my urge to comfort him, I was angry that he ignored me for
over a week then showed up looking to bang.
"I need to talk to you," he said in a pained voice.
"What about?"
"Remember the friends with benefits thing? I need you to be the friend
part now."
"What's wrong?" "Can we go inside?" "No."
"Why?" he asked as the muscles in his jaw twitched. "You got a
fucking guy in there?"
"Yeah and I' m not looking to do a three-way. Now, fuck off." "You
sure moved on quick."

"Oh, you haven't fucked anyone since you ditched me?"
Vaughn shrugged. "A few chicks, but they didn't count. Besides, I used
plenty of Purell."
"Eat shit, Vaughn. You have other friends. Go hassle them."
"I can't talk to them about this," Vaughn said and the tone of his voice
startled me. "They would just say who gives a shit. They would give
me the guy response and I need something else."
"Look, I' m busy," I said, struggling to tell him no.
Vaughn stared at me and I saw such pain in his eyes. "My mom is
dying, Raven. I need you to tell me what to do."
Seeing Vaughn so vulnerable, like a kid rather than a man, I felt like
someone punched me in the gut. Any strength I felt against him
disappeared.
"Come inside," I said, pushing open the door.
A second passed as Vaughn realized I'd been lying about another guy. I
saw something shift in his expression. Whether feeling relief or male
cockiness, he walked inside and sat on the couch. I got us two beers and
joined him.
"You're all pink," he said, rubbing my burned nose with his thumb.
"What happened with your mom?"
"My cousin Caleb likes to call and taunt me. Sometimes, he'll text to
say someone got married and how I never will because I'll be dead
soon. Just crap like that. Tonight, he called to tell me that I would
outlive my mom."
Despite my need for separation, I took his hand. "What's wrong
with her?"
"She'd had a heart attack years ago. Since then, she's had problems off
and on. Last night, she had another heart attack and they don't think
she'll last much longer. Caleb said if I wanted to tell her goodbye that I
needed to get my ass out there within the day."
"They'll kill you though."
Looking like a little boy lost, Vaughn shrugged. "I know, but maybe I
can tell her goodbye first."
"Or maybe they'll kill you the minute you arrive. Are you sure your
mom is really sick?"

"Yeah, Caleb gave me the number to the hospital and had the doctor tell
me my mom's status."
Unable to say the right thing, I just caressed his hand and tried to ease
his pain.
Vaughn exhaled slowly. "For most of my life, it was just me and my
mom. When she met Ted, things changed and I didn't get to spend time
with her. It was like she was an extension of him, but I never knew if
that was what she wanted or if it was how things had to be with him.
They'd known each other in high school then he blew her off. She
bounced around from one loser to another until she had me. I know she
was lonely, but I missed her when she ended up with Ted. I missed the
old her anyway."
Vaughn turned to me and studied my face. "When I was little and
would get scared because of gunshots or our neighbors were fighting,
she would let me sleep in her bed. I knew she would die to protect me. I
trusted her, but Ted ended that when they hooked up. I haven't spoken
to her since I left Tucson. This would be my last chance. Tell me what
to do, Raven."
I felt pressure to say the right thing, but I didn't know the answer. I only
knew I didn't want Vaughn to die.
"Look, either your mom is a bitch who chose the club over her son or
she's the woman you remember from when you were growing up. If
she's that bitch, she doesn't deserve you dying to say goodbye. If she's
the mom you love, she wouldn't want you to die. A good mom would
want you to live."
"It's only a matter of time before I get killed. Some bastard was
scouting my place today. So far, the idiots who've tried to kill me were
sloppy. Eventually, someone with half a brain will make a move. Why
not just end this shit and do it on my terms."
"It's not on your terms though. They're setting you up and you might
not get to see your mom anyway. Also, think about Kirk and Cooper.
They did a lot to protect you all these years. If you let the Devils kill
you, all their work would be for nothing."
Vaughn stared at me then whispered, "But it's my mom."
Wiping angrily at my eyes, I knelt next to him and pulled him

against me.
"You're breaking my fucking heart, Vaughn," I said, stroking his
cheek. "I know you love her and want to say goodbye, but no words
will ever show her how you feel. If she loves you half as much as you
love her, she'll know how you feel. In your heart, you know the real her
too."
Vaughn wrapped his arms around my waist and I flinched without
thinking. He frowned up at me like a rejected child.
"I'm burned all over," I said, kissing his forehead. "I'm sorry I can't give
you better advice. I just don't think you should go."
"Judd would say the same thing, but he'd tell me I was a fucking idiot
for even considering it."
Caressing his face, I wished to take away his pain. "What's your mom's
name?"
"Michelle," he said, giving me a little smile. "She has dimples."
For the next hour, we drank too much beer while Vaughn told me about
his mom. How she had tiny feet and a goofy laugh. How she liked his
hair long and nicknamed him Hippy. How he loved when she sang to
him even though she had a horrible voice and never got the words right.
By the time he told me about how his mom nearly choked to death on
gum while they played Twister, I was drunk off my ass. Vaughn
probably wasn't, but I didn't know or care.
He helped me stumble into the bedroom where I peeled off my clothes
then tried to find a comfortable position with my tender skin. Dozing
off, I thought Vaughn left, but something startled me enough to turn
around. He stood next to the bed, looking lost again.
"No sex," I mumbled. "If you want to stay tonight, I wouldn't say no. I
just can't have you rubbing against my skin."
Vaughn said nothing. He only stared so I turned back and closed my
eyes. A few minutes passed before I felt the bed shift and he settled in
behind me. Once the sheet was over us, Vaughn nuzzled my hair. He
cuddled just behind me, but never touched me enough to cause any
pain.
I fell asleep smiling at how careful the big hunk could be. My dream
wasn't as happy. Vaughn was missing and I was driving around town
looking for him. I kept crashing my jeep and my mom was in the
backseat yelling at me. When I woke, I still felt the panic of losing him.

Glancing back, I found Vaughn awake. He was thinking about his
dying mom and a million other painful things. I turned over to face him
and he gave me a weak smile. We watched each other for a few minutes
then I asked what my groggy mind was wondering.
"Did you miss me?" I whispered.
Vaughn studied my face then nodded.
"Why didn't you at least text me?" I whispered when he said nothing.
His thumb caressed my lower lip as he exhaled heavily. "I couldn't tell
you what I wanted to tell you, so I didn't say anything at all."
Placing a hand against his chest, I felt the rough hairs and warm
skin.
"I understand," I told him while cuddling closer. "I missed you
too."
Vaughn cupped my face with his strong hand. "Your skin is tender."
Straddling him, I winced at the pain, but I didn't stop. He was so
beautiful and I'd missed him so much. Most of all, I didn't know how
much more time we had together.
"Let's pretend," I murmured into his ear. Vaughn watched me like he
was lost and I offered him the way home. "The world outside this bed
doesn't exist. Everything before and everything that's waiting to happen
can't touch us. There's only you and me."
Even in the darkness, I saw the tenderness in his smile. "A world with
just you and me sounds good, sugar."
Leaning down, I kissed him tenderly. Vaughn felt strong and powerful,
but he was so careful all night. None of the hard fast fucking that we
normally shared. Gently, he filled me again and again until we were
blinded to everything ugly in the world. It was only us.

Chapter Sixteen - Vaughn
The phone sat nearby taunting me while I played house with Raven. I
kept waiting for it to ring. Until it did and Caleb told me Mom was
gone, I struggled with the urge to fly to Tucson and say goodbye to her
and my life.
Raven did everything she could to keep me distracted. She walked
around naked, claiming her skin was too tender for clothes. It wasn't
too tender for me though and I spent hours tasting the burned skin.
When I had Raven in my arms, I could forget about Tucson. When I
was inside her, I could think of the now in Ellsberg. When she said my
name, I didn' t imagine my mother asking for me.
When she was away from me though, the urge to return to Tucson and
face my fate was too strong to deny. Once I even headed for the door,
but Raven jumped on my back.
"I'm so horny," she purred in my ear. "If you fuck me, I'll let you call
me another dumbass nickname."
Laughing and aroused, how could I tell her no? The girl knew how to
get my mind off my past, but it took a toll on both of us. At one point
while I stared at the baseball game and thought about the time my mom
took me to a game, Raven handed me an ice pack for my crotch. As she
reclined on the couch, she placed a hot water bottle on her pussy.
"I think I'm fucked out," she said, grinning at me. "After dinner though,
I' m going to strip for you."
"You've been naked all day," I mumbled, tossing the ice pack back in
the kitchen and crawling to the couch. "I've seen it."
"You don't want me to dance for you?" she asked, looking hurt as I
removed the hot water bottle.
"I know a way to soothe you."
"No," she said, but then felt silent as I gently sucked at her swollen lips.
"Okay, that works."
"I'd like to see you dance, Raven," I said, licking her tender clit. "A lap
dance too."
"If this is how you tip, you can have as many lap dances as your

cock can handle."
"Shh, I'm trying to concentrate on fixing what I broke."
Raven wanted to say something smartass. I saw the look in her eyes and
the bitchy response was on the tip of her tongue. Instead, she just
smiled and closed her eyes. I savored the sweet taste of her until she
whimpered my name like I alone offered her salvation.
As tender as she was and as tense as I was, Raven didn't disappoint with
her striptease. Disappearing into the bedroom, she dressed in
something skimpy and found the right song.
With Raven away from me, my mind wandered to my mother. I
realized I never asked if she was happy with Ted. All those years after
they got together and I was on my own, I would see her a few times a
week. We'd talk about things, but I never thought to ask if she was
really happy with him. Did she stay because she loved him and their
life together? Or did she have no choice?
I never saw any unhappiness on her face, but my mom wore a mask all
of those years I was growing up. She never showed her loneliness or
disappointment at life. She looked happy then too. Now, I would never
know if she was truly happy the last decade with Ted.
I'm Only Happy When It Rains began to play as Raven appeared from
the bedroom. She wiggled her butt for me as one strap on her pink
babydoll slid off an even pinker shoulder. Sitting on the couch, I
admired her swinging hips and the coy smile she gave me as the second
strap came off.
As beautiful as she looked, I felt a growing anger in my gut. By the
time she flashed a nipple at me, I was pissed. Raven didn't notice right
away. Dancing for me, she moved closer and closer sliding across my
lap.
How many men saw this dance? How many got hard looking at her
perfect tits and those perky nipples? Did they stick cash in her panties?
Did they feel her against their cocks like I did right then? The fuckers
were out there, knowing her body in a way only I should know it.
"Why are you breathing like that?" she asked as her ass stopped
wiggling on my lap. "You sound like an angry dog or maybe like you
need to puke."

"Just thinking about all the guys who got off like you 're getting me off
now."
Raven' s eyes narrowed. "What about all those girls who felt your hard
cock pressed up against their butt like you're pressed it against me?
Should I start breathing weird over them?"
Even unsure why I was so angry, the rage ate me up. Raven was mine
and no one should know her like I did. I wanted to hunt every guy down
and kill them. Only then, could I really claim her.
"Idiot," she muttered, pulling up the straps. "The slut is calling me a
slut."
"Good thing your skin is so tender or I'd smack your ass and fuck you
until you can't stand. I'd make sure you'd remember no one but me."
"Bring it, bitch," she hissed, leaning forward with her hands on my
shoulders. "I'm not scared of you and your jealous crap. Loser weenie
dipshit."
Glaring at her, I took hold of the babydoll and planned to tear it off of
her. The material was soft though, just like Raven. Even with her
snarling at me, I knew she was in pain from the sunburn. Restraining
my urge to lose control, I let go of the babydoll. We glared at one
another until the phone rang. In that moment, all of my anger shifted
into cold dread at hearing the news from Tucson.
Before I reached it, Raven grabbed the phone and answered.
"Hello," she said, running away from me.
Based on her expression, I knew Caleb was on the other line.
Her jaw clenched and eyes darkened. "He's not available. What do you
want?"
After a moment, her gaze hardened even more. "I' m his secretary. Tell
me what you want and I'll pass the message along."
Raven' s gaze met mine as she listened to Caleb. After a minute, she
grunted and hung up. We stared at one another for a long time. Her
irritated gaze slowly shifted into a softer, sadder expression.
"I'm sorry I called you a loser weenie dipshit."
"She's gone," I said, letting the idea swirl in my head. "What did he say
exactly?"

"She passed away a few minutes before he called." Standing up, I
walked to where Raven stood looking brokenhearted. I
hugged her against me and caressed her hair. "What else did he say?"
Raven nuzzled my chest then forced out the words she didn't want me
to hear. "He said her funeral will be in two days. If you come to Tucson,
they'll let you say goodbye before they kill you."
I was relieved to have Raven with me. If I'd been on my own, I would
consider going to Tucson. I would consider all sorts of stupid shit, but
she needed me. As her big blue eyes watched me, I saw how much she
needed me to stay.
"It's not your fault," she whispered.
"I never told her goodbye. I tried to get hold of her all these years, but
Ted wouldn't let us talk."
"I'm sure it was because she would say she loved you and didn't want
you to come back. She was probably proud of you for saving
Harlow."
Just hearing that name tensed me. "What do you know about
Harlow?"
"Bailey said you showed up here with her and that you'd saved her. She
didn't know anything else."
Nodding again, I exhaled unsteadily. "I fucked up that night. If I had
done things different, I wouldn't be a marked man. Harlow would be
safe. I could have said goodbye to my mom. I'm no hero, Raven. I
fucked up and caused all my problems."
Raven said nothing as she pulled away and disappeared into her
bedroom. I stared at where she'd been and thought about my mom.
Whether she was happy or not all those years with Ted, she was at
peace now. We never went to church, but she would pray and light
candles for special occasions. Mom believed in God and Heaven, so I
decided to believe in them too. She was safe now.
She might even be looking down at me and knowing I loved and missed
her. She understood me. I had doubted the last few days if she hated me
like Ted did. Somehow, Mom never seemed clearer in my mind than at
that moment. I saw how she never stopped thinking of me

as her little boy. She knew I loved her.
Raven returned wearing a loose shirt and sweat shorts. I liked that she
had changed, realizing I didn't want lap dances or blowjobs. I wanted
her to really see me.
We sat on the couch with her legs crossed while facing me. She took
my hand and I knew she was genuinely sad. Raven wasn't the pretty girl
pretending for my sake because she wanted to fuck me. My pain was
her pain. I didn't need to kill every guy who ever saw her naked to make
her mine. She already was.
"Will you tell me what happened with Harlow?" she asked after a few
minutes of silence.
"I' m not a hero, Raven. I know you want to see me as a good man. I' m
a killer though. I do ugly things and I do them without caring. Harlow
was the exception, not the rule."
"I understand," she said, scooting closer. "I don't want you to hide
anymore. I'll listen to what you say and not hear what I want. I'll hear
the truth."
Caressing her cheek, I forced a smile. "You won't like the truth."
"I don't like a lot of things about you, but I still like you."
Smiling wider, I sighed. "Okay, but I warned you.
Raven kissed my hand as if to say she was ready for whatever ugliness
I showed her.
"When my mom hooked up with Ted, the club became our life. I was
nearly eighteen and already pretty big. Ted didn't think of me as his
son. He just wanted to keep me busy, so he made me an enforcer, doing
mostly little stuff. Rough up shop owners and people who owed the
Devils money. I worked with a guy named Stinky. I never knew what
his real name was, but Stinky noticed how I didn't react when people
would cry and beg. He told Ted I'd be a good cleaner and could handle
the ugly stuff. Stinky was right too. I'd show up at some idiot's place
and his wife and kids would cry and I would ignore it. I could block out
all that noise and focus on my job. Not a lot of men can ignore crying
kids, but I
could."
I waited for Raven to react, but she just watched me in the same way
she'd been watching me since the phone call.

"A guy in the club that I cleaned up for a lot was called Playboy. He
was a pussy magnet in his youth. As he got older, his tastes stayed
young. Those younger girls would get pretty wasted to endure his shit.
A few months before Harlow, I cleaned up a dead hooker killed during
rough play and a runaway who OD' d. I dumped the body for the first
and got the second one to a clinic who wouldn't ask questions. It wasn't
pretty work, but my job isn't for the feeling type. It's why not anyone
could be a cleaner. You had to do ugly shit and do it without blinking. I
always had a way of turning off my heart.
"I really didn't care either. Things changed in a weird way when Mom
married Ted and I didn't feel like me anymore. It was easy being a
cleaner like that until the night with Harlow."
My cell rang again, but Raven set it to mute. "It's the fuckwad calling to
be a fuckwad again. We're pretending again it's just you and me.
Nothing outside this apartment can hurt us."
Smiling softly, I ran a finger over her bruised knuckles. "Harlow had a
normal enough life, I guess. Then, her dad died and her mom went over
her rocker and started drinking and doping. The kids ended up living
with Playboy's old lady. She was the husband's sister or cousin. I don't
know. It was something I heard and didn't care about. I never thought
Harlow or her siblings would mean shit to me."
Glancing around the room, I hated taking Raven with me into my dark
memories. She was bruised and battered enough without my shit
dumped on her. Of course, I knew she wouldn't let me stop.
"One night, Playboy called and said he has a mess that needed cleaning.
When I got there, he and his buddies were watching a football game.
He tells me about how Harlow's mom came bitching about wanting her
kids back. Playboy didn't care about the little ones. He just wanted to
keep Harlow and told the mom to take the brats and go. When she saw
Harlow drugged up and knew what Playboy did, I guess she freaked.
Playboy said she wanted to snitch to the cops, so he handled her like he
would any rat. That's all he said before telling me to clean up the mess."
Raven scooted closer as if knowing I was afraid to say the next part out
loud. She understood because she was Raven and I was Vaughn.

Somehow, we made sense.
"In the back room, I found them. Not just the mom and Harlow, but her
little brother and sister. Fucking Playboy killed those little kids too.
When he beat the mom with a tire iron, she was holding her kids and he
killed them too. Just bashed their little heads in like they were nothing.
The whole room stank of blood and sex. Harlow was on the ground
holding her mom's hand. When she looked at me, I knew she was
stoned and didn't really understand."
A shudder came over me when I thought of her sitting in the blood of
her mom and those babies.
"Maybe it would have been better to kill her too. She'll remember that
shit for the rest of her life. Seeing her mom and little bother and sister
getting their heads bashed in. When I stood over her, I thought I was
doing her a favor. I really planned to kill her too. I was pissed at
Playboy and hated the fucker. Even knowing he was evil, I was still
planning to do my job. Even when he told me he wished he could keep
Harlow because she was a good lay, I didn't plan to do anything except
follow orders. I was that kind of man. No hero, but willing to kill a
teenage girl. I might lie and say I was doing her a favor, but I didn't
really care. I was doing my job. Watching out for myself."
Raven' s expression never changed, but I sensed her horror at what I
was telling her. I needed her to really understand the ugliness inside
me.
"I pulled out my gun, planning to kill her. I couldn't do it with my
hands. I'd beaten people to death, but to take that girl's life in such a
personal way was too much. I was planning to shoot her and clean it all.
Dump all four of them in a grave and walk away. I don't want you to
forget that about me, Raven. Don't think I was some good fucker who
walked in and felt outrage and saved the damsel. I was going to shoot a
child in the face. No matter how old she was and how much she'd seen,
sitting on the ground like she was, Harlow as a kid. That's what stopped
me in the end. She whimpered for her mommy and begged me not to
hurt her brother and sister. She sounded like a little girl and I couldn't
fucking do it."
The look on Harlow's face haunted my dreams. As if sensing this,

Raven kissed my hand and waited for me to continue.
"I snapped. I didn't think about the right way to help her or to walk
away. I could have grabbed her and run. I could have faked like I killed
her and snuck her out of there and run. I could have done a million
different things, but then she said mommy. I looked at the dead woman
and her dead kids. I smelled the blood and the way those bastards had
raped and used Harlow..."
Pausing, I felt the rage return. "It was like every single evil thing ever
was on my shoulders. Like I had to get revenge for it all. My need
wasn't to save Harlow. Or to get justice. I wanted revenge. For every
time my mom had a black eye from some fucker she dated over the
years. For that dead hooker and the runaway and every chick who ever
bled for the amusement of the club. I wanted revenge for every time I
was scared as a kid while my mom worked two jobs because some
fucker stole her savings after making promises to her about being a
family. I just wanted to burn it all down, so I snapped."
Taking a breath, I continued, "I turned my gun on Playboy then his
friends. I can't even remember their names. They were in the club, but
now I can' t remember them. I took Harlow and I burned down the
house with her dead family in it. I also went to the place where the club
stashed a lot of cash for emergencies. I took it all. I stole from the club
and I made it bleed and I left Tucson with Harlow."
Exhaling raggedly, I remembered the way Harlow stared at me while I
burned down the house. She didn't cry for her mother or Mase and
Stacia. A part of her understood they were gone. As the drugs faded,
she understood more and more and I saw her pull into herself.
"We left Tucson and I had no plan, but I didn't need one. I had
vengeance and it made me happier than the club ever did. Harlow had
nothing back in Tucson and she never complained. We rode for hours
and she held on. By the time we arrived in Ellsberg, she had stopped
talking. Yet, if I told her to do something, she never hesitated. She
hadn't given up. Something just died in her when her family died and
this was the new Harlow. I knew how she felt because the man I was
when I pulled the gun out to shoot her wasn't the man I was when I
turned the gun on Playboy. We had changed, but our pasts wouldn't let
us go."

Raven squirmed onto her knees and hugged me against her chest. She
soothed me like my mom did years ago. Even though she wanted me to
think everything would be alright, I knew the truth.
"I fucked up the way I took Harlow. If I had done it different, she could
live her life and I might be able to live a real life too. Instead, I let my
temper control me. Now, I'm a dead man and she isn't safe."
"You saved her though."
"Don't make me a hero, Raven."
"You are a hero though."
Frustrated, I wish she understood. "Over the years, I've regretted saving
her. I can't even see her without feeling regret. Would a hero feel
like that?"
"I don't know. Maybe," she said, caressing my face. "I've never been a
hero. You've never been a hero either until that day. You can't know
how a hero feels. Maybe they regret their choices. Don't you think a
fireman who saves someone from a burning building, but gets burned
wouldn't feel some regret? When people suffer, they regret the good
things they've done. In the end, they still did those good things." Raven
cupped my face and stared into my eyes. "You did a good thing."
"If I did things different, I could have said goodbye to my mom."
"Different like letting Playboy live so he could kill more moms and
kids? No, you did the right thing and your mom was proud of you."
"You can't know that."
"I do. She took care of you all of those years alone. She loved you so
much. I know she did because you aren't some mean fuck. You've got a
heart and you make people laugh. You have a lot of good in you and
that' s because of your mom. She loved you more than her life and she
would have wanted you to save Harlow. She wanted you to be a hero
because all great moms want their kids to be amazing. Your mom was
great and that' s why you' re who you are."
Staring into her eyes, I felt the loss I'd been hiding from all of these
years.
"She was a great mom. The best."
Cradled in Raven's embrace, I wept for my mom. I also mourned the
boy inside me who missed the woman that made him the center of

her world.

Chapter Seventeen - Raven
Big Bob's Skating Center seemed louder than usual. Having spent the
last few days alone with Vaughn in my apartment then at his place,
being in public left me feeling exposed. As much as I missed the quiet,
I knew Vaughn and I needed time away from each other. Mostly
because the lie about friends with benefits was falling apart.
Even Bailey noticed.
"So are you and Vaughn together now?" she asked, holding onto the
side of the rink. "Will I get to be the maid of honor in your wedding?"
"Vaughn just needed a lot fucking because of his mom dying. We're
only friends. Besides, I'm never getting married."
"If you do, you'll pick Lark over me, won't you?"
"Probably. She would never forgive me, if I didn't. Trust me that you
don't want her holding a grudge. Tiny chicks are sneaky."
Bailey pulled at her ponytail then grabbed the side again. "I'm going to
fall on my stellar ass."
Grinning, I took her hand and pulled her away from the side. "I'll keep
you safe."
Bailey's eyes widened, but she didn't scream like I expected. Her hands
gripped mine as I skated backwards while pulling her along.
"I only know how to skate on the gravel," she said and I fought the urge
to laugh. "I really hate falling down."
"You're fine. I've got you, see?"
Bailey chilled and let me guide us around the rink. "You really like
Vaughn, don' t you?"
"Yes, but he and I aren't going to be anything more than we are now.
Last night, we were in bed and he said he would dump me if he wasn't
so lazy. I told him he couldn't dump me because I had already dumped
him. We just keep it light because otherwise we're both
fucked."
"He hasn't cheated on you. I asked around and a bunch of his regular
hookup chicks say he hasn't banged them since he first banged

you."
"Doesn't change who we are and what we can manage."
Bailey nodded as I skated faster and her hands tightened around mine.
"The Devils are going to kill him soon. I wish we could kill the fuckers,
but Cooper doesn't want to start something that'll spill over to the whole
club."
"Maybe someone else could kill them?"
"Maybe. They wouldn't all need to die either. Just the top assheads. The
ones calling the shots. When another club that was heavy into criminal
shit lost their president, the whole thing went to hell. Like in-fighting
and other clubs trying to steal their territory and clients. If someone
could kill the Devils' president, vice president, maybe a few others who
could take over easy, they wouldn't care about Vaughn. It wouldn't be
worth the trouble, you know?"
"Yeah," I said, thinking about how a handful of deaths could mean
Vaughn would be safe. Harlow too, but my heart beat for the blond
bastard who was watching me skate around with Bailey.
Vaughn stood with Judd, Cooper, and Tucker. Arms crossed, the men
wore frowns. Whatever they were discussing pissed them off and I was
glad for the separation. I didn't want more bad news.
"Wait for me!" Sawyer screamed, arriving with Farah.
While my preggers friend smiled at Cooper then found a seat and
vegged, Sawyer skated into the rink. The seven year old made it a few
feet before her ass and the hard ground became acquainted.
Skating over with Bailey, I helped Sawyer back up. The girl fought
tears and I knew she'd hit her tailbone hard. Hugging her to me, I
moved us slowly into the rink. Bailey held onto my arm as we worked
our way in a circle.
"I didn't cry," Sawyer said finally.
"No, you didn't, but crying doesn't mean anything," I said, playing with
the curls in her hair. "I cry when I get really pissed off. Tears usually
mean I' m about to punch someone."
Sawyer and Bailey clutched onto me while I skated them around and
around until the place filled up. The Storm Babes arrived with their
lovers and kids in tow. Around the time the opposing team showed up

with their entourage, Lark walked in with Aaron. They were both
wearing tie-dyed shirts and I nearly barfed at their coordinated outfits.
Sensing my horror, Lark started laughing and nearly chocked on the
lime slice in her mouth.
"What's the deal?" I asked noticing how she and Farah wore lime slices
like teeth guards.
"It settles our nausea," Farah explained before popping the slice back in
her mouth.
Lark hugged me. "Pico de Gallo also helps."
Even with the two chicks looking ready to hurl, I felt a hint of jealousy.
I wanted a baby. I also wanted that baby to have a dad and a home like
I never did. Glancing at Vaughn, I found him watching me like I was
crazy. I grinned then realized his expression was related something one
of the guys was saying. My grin widened and he wiggled his eyebrows.
This drew Judd's attention and the men's conversation stopped
midsentence. Vaughn shrugged and walked away.
"What a bunch of whiners," he told me as I left Lark to suck on her lime
slice.
"Is something wrong?"
"No," he lied.
Allowing him his secrets, I asked, "Will you cheer for me?" Vaughn
smiled as I strapped on my shin guards. "I'll caw for you. Just you
wait."
Laughing, I bumped his hip. "I dare you to do it in front of your
boyfriends over there."
Vaughn looked like he might realize cawing for me wasn't worth the
ribbing he would receive.
"What do I get if I embarrass myself?"
"What do you want?" I asked, stroking his sweaty arms with my
nails.
"An hour of Tour of Duty."
"A videogame?" I balked. "I could do dirty things to you, but you'd
rather play videogames?"
"Gingersnap, our things aren't dirty. They're wholesome fun especially
when I spank you and you love it."

Even glaring at him, he had a point.
"Besides," he continued, "we're going to do those fun things after the
videogames. Maybe before too. Possibly during. I just want to play
Tour of Duty and Judd is whipped. I've lucked out to have a hot chick
who likes shooting games. I'm milking that."
Grinning, I nuzzled his crotch with my knee. "I' m going to milk you
later."
"You had me at 'milk you later,' honeysuckle."
"Idiot," I muttered, but he was making me wish we were alone.
"Be careful out there."
My fake irritation faded at the seriousness of his tone. "It's a game I' ve
been playing for years."
"I know, but you get smacked around at the Thunderdome. I don't need
you getting bruised up here too."
"You're cute when you start with the feelings, blondie."
"Thanks for that compliment, baby corn."
"Really? Baby corn?"
Vaughn leaned down and kissed my still tender nose then whispered,
"Caw, caw."
Laughing, I left him so I could join my team. We warmed up while
Sarah told us her big plans to ditch us and go to the Bahamas for a
week.
"Try not to lose every game while I'm gone," she said.
Chantal snorted. "We'll barely notice your absence."
"Speak for yourself," I muttered. "I'll miss Sarah because I need
someone to distract from my awesome moves."
"We'll see," Sarah said, giving me a wink.
Maybe she knew something I didn't. After all, I managed to collide
with the wall four times over the game. I also fell on my ass twice and
was "accidentally" hit in the face once. By the end of the game, we'd
won and I was limping.
Game over, Bailey and Sawyer took off while I cuddled with my lime
sucking sister. Aaron asked if I was planning to go to the upcoming
fair. Lark and I just laughed at him. No one loved shitty fair food like I
did.
Packing up, I realized Vaughn was gone. I tried not to take it

personally. My body hurt enough without getting my feelings hurt too.
When I got outside, I found Tawny waiting at my dusty jeep. Her
expression was hard, angry even. I sensed it was a defense mechanism
related to the guys checking her out.
"They won't mess with you," I said, arriving at the jeep. "They want to
keep their eyes and I heard Judd likes to rip those out if a man messes
with his woman."
Tawny smiled tightly. "I need a ride home. Vaughn and Judd had to
handle something."
After getting into the jeep, Tawny pulled her gun and waved it at the
guys still looking at us. They got the hint and walked away.
"I can't stand the dirty fuckers checking me out. I'm not a damn piece of
meat."
"Are you okay?" I asked, pulling out of the parking lot.
"Yes. No. Who knows? Therapy makes me crazy and I hate talking
about shit and want to quit. I might take a break from it until we 're
moved into the new place."
"What's the point of therapy if it makes you feel worse?"
Tawny shrugged. "To face your crap and deal with it. I'm just stressed
by the move. Judd doesn't like change either. He's tense about the move
and Vaughn. When he's tense, I feel worse. He's my rock. The person
who makes me feel like my crazy is sane."
After a few deep breaths, Tawny calmed herself. "It'll be fine, but I
need things to be settled. Everything feels too big now. Every comment
about when we'll have a kid feels like someone is nagging and judging.
I just want to live with Judd and have my sister close. I want to feel safe
in Ellsberg and I don't right now."
"Because of the move or the shit with Vaughn?"
"Both. The whole club is tense."
Saying nothing, I stopped at a red light and thought about Vaughn. He
cawed during the game, eliciting frowns then laughter from his
buddies. Having earned the videogame time, he wouldn't bail unless it
was important. I just hoped he was safe.
"Vaughn killed my parents," Tawny said, startling me. "After my mom
attacked Farah, Cooper had her killed and Vaughn did it. When my

dad came here to hurt me and steal money from the Johanssons, I shot
him. It was Vaughn who finished him off, so Judd wouldn't have to do
it."
Staring at her in the dark car, I wasn't sure what to say. Tawny's face
was unreadable. She had learned to copy Judd's cool expression,
revealing nothing.
"Do you resent him for that?" I finally asked.
Tawny frowned. "No. The light is green."
Driving again, I remained silent, so Tawny spoke up.
"My parents needed killing. Some people just do. Sometimes, those
people will run up against a force like the Johanssons and the Reapers.
When that happens, those people end up dead. I only told you because
Vaughn is hardcore. Not a lot of guys can kill a woman, but Vaughn is
a badass. You shouldn't worry about him. I think he'll beat the Devils
because they're fucking stupid and he isn't."
Smiling, I turned a block closer to her apartment. "Vaughn is a tough
bastard."
Tawny gave me a little grin. "You can't change him. Once this crap
with the Devils is done, you can't expect him to turn into a nine-to-five
guy."
"I wouldn't."
"They've done ugly things. Vaughn and Judd both. Now, they can't
pretend to be normal men. Working some job and pretending they're
average guys would make all those ugly things uglier. It would destroy
them. If you want Vaughn, you have to accept not only the ugly of his
past, but the ugly of his future. He's an enforcer and that means he'll
hurt people. He'll come home with blood on his hands and you'll have
to love him anyway. You can't make him feel bad because it'll destroy
him. Judd looks at me like I have the power to tear him apart. I'm
careful because I know he's done those things and I can't make him feel
bad about it. He accepts me and I accept him. You have to do the same
with Vaughn."
"I will," I whispered, afraid to hope for a future with him. "I understand
what Vaughn does."
"I had a feeling about you. Even in Vegas when you were swearing

off men, my gut said you would be good for Vaughn. Like you'd
understand him."
Panicked at the idea of jinxing what I had with Vaughn, I mumbled,
"We're just dating right now. Fuck buddies really."
"Sure, sure," she said, giving me a grin. "He's so whipped and you're
hooked on him. The guy made fucking bird noises tonight. It's a done
deal."
"I have bad luck with men. I care about Vaughn, but I don't think things
will work out."
Tawny studied me then shrugged. "I want him to be happy and he
seems happy with you. He was so pissed off when Judd and I got
together. Pouting and having tantrums like a baby. He was obnoxious.
Now, he doesn't look at me like I've stolen his only friend. He looks
happy."
Vaughn just looked cranky when we pulled into the apartment garage.
He and Judd were leaning against their Harleys, having a frowning
contest. Their battle ended when we parked next to them.
Tawny climbed out and walked quickly to Judd. They stared at each
other then he lifted an eyebrow and she smiled. Vaughn and I didn't
have the ability to do the silent conversation thing. Instead, he strolled
over to me and ran his tongue over his top teeth.
"Everything okay?" I asked.
"Yeah, it was just a false alarm about some douche trying to break into
my place," Vaughn said, sliding his hands into my shorts and cupping
my butt. "I cawed my heart out during the game, baby cakes. You owe
me videogame time."
"Are we fucking here? Should I start fake moaning?"
"Why fake moaning?" he asked, wide eyed. "Am I not satisfying you?
Am I a failure in bed? Is my dong too small?"
Laughing, I looked at Judd who rolled his eyes before taking Tawny's
hand and walking away. When I returned my gaze to Vaughn, he was
fondling me under my shirt.
"You looked so damn hot skating around tonight."
"Did you like how I fell?"
"No," he said as his cocky smile faded. "I hate seeing you bruised

up. Are you in pain?"
"Yeah. In fact, I might just go home and sleep. Save our fun for when I
feel better."
Vaughn stared at me expressionless for a minute. I thought he might let
me leave and I really needed the separation. Talking with Tawny made
me hope for more with Vaughn. I was even thinking about him alive at
Christmas, next year, in a decade. My hopes had gotten too high and I
needed time to bring them back to earth.
"Listen, candy apple," Vaughn said in a low seductive voice that
instantly made me smile, "my place has that deep bathtub. How about
we head over there and you soak for a while in the hot water. I promise
I won't climb in and join you. Boy Scout's honor. Afterwards, I'll dry
you off with my tongue then we'll play a little. After that, we'll order
something yummy from that takeout place you like and play
videogames. Finally, I'll massage you before bed."
"That sounds nice," I said, running my fingers over the rough hairs on
his cheek. "Promise you won't be mad if I'm not the best company
tonight."
"Mad? Never. Will I cry like a bitch? Yeah, probably, but we'll make it
work."
Hugging him, I inhaled his divine scent and listened to his heart beat. "I
don't normally fall down that much," I said as he played with my hair.
"Were you thinking of me naked and got distracted?"
"Yes," I lied. "My brain couldn't handle the image."
Vaughn laughed and kissed my head. Following him to his place, I
used the drive to think about why I couldn't keep my mind on the game.
Every time I saw Vaughn acting like an idiot in front of his friends, I
realized how special he was. I also realized how much I loved him, but
he would be gone soon. The thought of him dead sent me sprawling
every time.

Chapter Eighteen - Vaughn
Lies were my sustenance for years. I bullshit myself so easily until I
met Raven. When I broke down after my mom died and she held me, I
knew I loved her. The way she looked at me sometimes made me
certain that she loved me too.
The lies kept on coming though.
We were fuck buddies. Nothing more. Even if I wanted to call bullshit
on this lie, Raven needed to pretend. Whenever I talked about how I'd
never met a girl like her, she'd pull away. I'd feel her closing herself off
from me and I hated that feeling. So I let her lie because I wasn't sure I
was strong enough for the truth either. I'd met the woman of my dreams
just as my death was on the horizon.
Every morning for the last week, Raven awoke in my bed with her wild
bed head and sleepy smile. This was the face I wanted to wake up to
every day for the rest of my life. Too bad my life wasn't going to
amount to much.
The Summer Fun Fair was a chance to think about something besides
death. Raven was the perfect kind of girl for the fair too. She loved
shitty food, unsafe rides, and the noise. In the first hour, we had a hot
dog eating contest that I easily won. Next, we rode the Tornado to see
who would puke. Neither of us did, but Raven ran to the restroom to
deal with the huge sodas she'd downed.
Standing near the restrooms, I was relieved Raven didn't carry a purse.
With how whipped I felt, no doubt I'd agree to hold it like a chump.
The fair was pretty packed despite the lack of college kids in town. I
noticed a few club guys with their families. Kirk had Sawyer on his
shoulders as they walked with Jodi. The little girl was eating cotton
candy and pointing at rides.
If I wasn't an outlaw, I might have that one day with Raven. The
possibility was so real, yet just out of reach.
"Boo!" a voice said and I felt a poke at my back.
Turning around, I came face to face with the girl who inspired me

to be the outlaw. Harlow looked young with her hair in a ponytail and
face paint making her look like a cat.
"Hi, Vaughn. Can't believe I snuck up on you like that," she said,
smiling brightly as if life were all rainbows and unicorns.
"My enemies don't tend to be cats, so I overlooked the threat."
Harlow's smile faded at my tone. Her hurt expression made me sigh. It
was always awkward with Harlow.
"This is Winona," she said, nervous now. "She's my Todds sister."
Like Harlow once hid behind me, Winona now cowered behind her
sister. With her face painted, I couldn't tell how old she was. I'd suspect
around the same age as eighteen year old Harlow. If she was living with
the Todds, Winona suffered a shitty childhood thanks to bikers. No
wonder she was scared of me.
"It was nice seeing you, Vaughn," Harlow said when I only frowned at
her.
"Enjoy the fair," I muttered, wishing I could look at her without
wondering about my choices years ago. "Stay close to your parents."
Eyes lighting up, Harlow nodded. I suspected she was thrilled for me to
say more than two words to her.
Not long after the girls walked away, Raven appeared, messing with
her shorts.
"I think I gained weight since we got here," she said, fiddling with the
waistband.
"I like a girl with some meat on her bones."
Raven looked up at me and smiled so beautifully that my chest
tightened at the sight. I wanted to blurt out how much I loved her then
beg her to take my balls as an offering of my love. Fortunately, Raven
wasn't ready to have me embarrass myself so completely.
We walked around the fair, dodging crowds of people. Spotting Judd
and Tawny at a game yards away, I got an idea to show my woman how
much I cared without having to say the words.
"Let me win you a bear," I said, stopping in front of a ball throw game.
"I was the pitcher on my little league team."
"No and stop telling me personal things about you. Especially about
your childhood."

"Worried you won't seem fascinating next to my amazing stories?"
Raven wanted to smile. I saw how much she fought the grin, but she
won. Glaring at me, she sighed. "You're getting clingy." "How do you
figure?"
"Men win crap for their girlfriends and we're not dating. You've gone
soft. I need to dump you." "But we're not dating." "Dump you as my
fuck buddy."
A staring contest ensued. As usual, she won because I wanted to kiss
her when I stared into those eyes for too long.
"Looky over there," I said, turning her around towards Judd and
Tawny.
My friend had won his woman a big bear. Tawny was smiling like Judd
was amazing even though I suspected he probably cheated.
"Judd and I are buddies. Like most men who are buddies, we have
regular pissing matches. In this case, he's making me look bad, so I
need to win my girl a bear to show him up. Since I don't have a girl, just
some hot fuck toy, I' m going to win a bear for you."
Raven watched our friends then glanced over her shoulder at me and
grinned. "Fuck toy was my nickname in high school."
Laughing, I took her hand and yanked her to the game. "Applaud when
I kick ass."
"Why should I?"
"There'll be rewards later," I said, giving her a wink.
Raven' s smile widened. "Throw the fucking ball!" she cried, jumping
up and down. "Knock down those bottles! Mama needs a new pair of
orgasms."
I struggled to concentrate with her staring at me with the fake excited
expression. Finally, I turned her away so I could focus on hitting the
bottles.
"What's wrong, champ? Performance anxiety?" she asked, leaning
forward and laughing at my expense.
The guy running the game stared at Raven and I didn't appreciate the
way his gaze was mainly on her fine ass.

"Eyes off my woman," I growled and he acted like he hadn't been
looking at all. "I want the bear with the heart thing on its stomach. How
much crap do I have to knock down to make that happen?"
"Ten," the guy said then noticed Raven was now eyeing the bear. "Fine,
six."
Smirking, I took the ball and threw it at the bottles. They smashed in a
really dramatic way and Raven smiled like I was an ace pitcher. When
she cheered and bounced, I nearly missed the second set of bottles.
"Ooh, you're so strong," she said, rubbing up against me. "Such a
powerful Little Leaguer."
"Please, allow me to win this toy for my fuck toy. She deserves it for
going to a carnival without a bra."
"I' m wearing a bra," she hissed, looking at her boobs.
Taking this moment with her eyes off me to focus on something
besides those tits hiding in a black bra, I threw the ball and hit the last
set. Raven was still fiddling with the bra when I handed her the bear.
"Ta da."
Raven shrugged. "Did you call my boobs saggy?"
"No, I just like talking about your tits. Now, take your fucking
bear."
Raven looked at the bear then at me. "My last fuck buddy won me a
bigger prize."
Frowning, I thought the bear was damn cute for a carnival prize. It was
pink and furry and had a heart on its fucking tummy. What chick
wouldn't want this damn bear? A crazy one, dammit!
"I'll toss it then," I said, aiming at the nearby trashcan.
Raven reached for the bear. "Don't you dare."
"Beg for it," I whispered as she reached for the bear I held over her
head. "Make me pity you."
Raven stopped trying to reach the bear and caressed my chest. Her blue
eyes met mine and I smiled at the softness in her gaze.
"Please, Vaughn," she whispered.
"Fuck," I mumbled, handing her the bear. "That's cheating." Nuzzling
the bear, she smiled. "I believe it's called winning." Wrapping an arm
around her shoulders, I walked towards Judd and

Tawny. I was impressed by how my friend managed to look butch even
while holding a rainbow colored bear under his arm.
While Judd sized me up then my bear, Raven smiled at Tawny who was
licking a giant green lollipop. My woman's eyes lit up and Tawny
gestured towards the stand selling candy. When Raven looked at me, I
saw the need in her gaze. She could afford a lollipop. What she longed
for was the idea of her man getting her something like Judd got for
Tawny. She craved the reality of our relationship. The thing we hid
from constantly.
"Do they have pink?" I asked Judd. "Fuck Toy likes pink."
"Nice nickname," Tawny snorted. "Judd calls me angel."
Raven smiled easily. "Vaughn calls me a million nicknames. I'm too
hot for just one."
The girls eyed each other and I liked the competitive streak between
them. Raven might not be able to say the words, but she was claiming
me in little ways. Tawny finally smiled at Raven.
"Good luck with that," she said, walking away with a smirking Judd
behind her.
As they disappeared into the crowds, I walked with Raven to get her a
pink lollipop. Like an excited kid, she had a bounce to her step. Soon,
she enjoyed a giant pink lollipop while I kept a second one for later. I
planned for her to eat it while naked. It would be my prize for the night.
More fried food and a nearly puke-inducing carnival ride later, we met
up with Cooper and Farah at Whiskey Kirk's. Tucker was on the dance
floor with Maddy, but I doubt they'd last long. They were less dancing
than giving foreplay.
"Remember when we were about to get married and were still hot for
each other?" Farah asked Cooper who was staring at her tits.
"Yeah, too bad all the heat went out of the bedroom when you said, 'I
do.'"
Farah caressed his jaw. "You're so mature now. All grown up like a
man. "
Cooper finally stopped looking at her tits so he could frown at her. "I
was always a man. All man."

Farah shrugged. "You were a boy really."
"It was less than a year ago," he grumbled, kissing her neck. "I was all
man."
"You've grown since then. Matured. Came into your own. Stopped
wetting the bed."
Cooper tried to act irritated, but Raven had spit out her beer and Farah
was laughing too hard. Shrugging, he glanced at me.
"Any trouble?"
"No, boss. Quiet all night."
When the women looked at us, we shrugged in unison. Raven seemed
unconvinced.
"I might puke from eating so much crap tonight." "I'll hold your hair,
Daisy Dukes."
Cooper made the sound of a whip snapping and I glared at him.
"Really? Really?" I growled. "If I opened Farah's purse, would I find
your balls rolling around in there?"
Now, Cooper glared. Farah nodded though. "He's mine and there's
nothing wrong with that."
This comment made Cooper smile and he went in for another nibble on
Farah's neck. I glanced at Raven who was trying very hard not to wish
we could admit what we felt. While lies were necessary, they weren't
fun.
"I'll be back," Raven said, sliding off the stool and walking to the
restroom.
"She's not preggers, is she?" Cooper asked.
"No, she drank a few kegs of watered down fair soda."
Cooper nodded. "I feel bad for Lark. She's miserable. A tiny miserable
pregnant chick. Maybe I should feel bad for Aaron."
"I saw them at the fair and she looked fine. Pukey, but they were
laughing and wearing matching shirts again."
"What the fuck is that about?" Cooper grunted and Farah laughed.
"My guess?" I said. "They're doing it to be obnoxious."
"It's working."
"That's not why," Farah said, grinning. "They're making fun of me and
Cooper because we showed up in matching denim one time.

Everyone was teasing us, but Cooper's head was up his ass and he didn't
notice."
"It's your job to alert me when my head isn't available."
Farah grinned. "I didn't want you to be self-conscious. Besides, you
looked really hot that night and no way was I telling you to dress
different. I really liked the view."
As Cooper and Farah fucked with their eyes, I felt like maybe I should
get the hose. Glancing around to avoid watching them stare at each
other, I noticed Raven near the bathroom talking with the asshole who
claimed to be her dad.
"Excuse me, boss. I think I'm about to make a scene."
Cooper looked at where Raven and Scott stood. "Have at it."
Raven had daddy issues. This was evident by the look on her face as
Scott babbled at her. Normally, she would get in the guy's face and
make him fear for his safety. With Daddy Dearest, she looked shamed
by his bullshit.
"Back off, asshole," I told Scott.
"This isn't about you, Outlaw."
"It's Vaughn and you need to fuck off. Raven's shit is more about me
than you."
"I'm her father."
"You're the guy who came in her mom and had a swimmer get lucky.
Let's not put ribbons and bows on what you are to her. Now, back
off."
Scott crossed his arms and smirked. "You're young, so you don't get it.
I've been around and I don't need my kid whoring in my territory. It' s a
big town. Take it somewhere else."
Raven was focused on her father when he said whoring, but her gaze
quickly turned to me as I pointed the gun at his head.
"Tell me why I don't kill you right here?" I asked Scott who pretended
he wasn't pissing himself.
Around us, people moved away. Those customers who weren't club
members were corralled from the place. Scott knew this was between
him and me and no one was interfering.
"You really going to start trouble over a piece of tail?" Scott asked.

"Wrong answer," I said, smacking him with the gun. "The answer I' m
looking for is that Raven is none of your business. You will not speak
to her. You will not look at her. You will act like she's a stranger. If you
don't stay away from her, I'll kill you."
"And after someone kills you?"
Years of lies kept me from showing how much that question bothered
me. My gaze held steady, but Raven shrunk at his words.
"Raven is my woman," I said, deciding I couldn't hide from the truth
anymore. "If I die, she's the responsibility of the club. Men like Judd
will protect her and I don't think he'll lose a second's sleep over
dropping you in a shallow grave, asshole."
Scott realized he was fucked. A guy in the club claiming a woman
made her untouchable even to her shitty dad. Even if it didn't, Scott
wasn't an enforcer. He wasn't a guy Kirk needed around. His death
would mean little. The mole Kirk had killed months ago meant more in
the scheme of things than Scott.
Without saying another word, Scott walked away and the tension in the
bar eased up. People talked more freely and outsiders were allowed
back inside. I watched Scott leave then looked at Raven. Her
expression was unreadable.
"I want to go home."
Raven bolted from the bar and I wasn't surprised. We were safe in our
lies. Fuck buddies didn't fall apart when one of them was killed. If I was
merely her lover, Raven could replace me. If she loved me, my death
meant a broken heart. I knew her fear, but the words were out in the
open and I refused to take them back
"Your woman?" she cried when we got outside. "You clingy
bitch!"
"Don't act like you don't feel anything for me."
"You're a nice guy I enjoy fucking. Now, you've ruined that."
Holding her still, I forced her to look at me. "I love you, Raven."
"Fuck you."
"You love me too."
"You wish, loser."
"I know you're scared."

"That you'll turn stalker now that I've dumped you."
My ego insisted I put Raven in her place. My heart knew how scared
she was that we weren't playing anymore. Everything was real and all
of her walls were coming up. Suddenly, I was the enemy attacking her.
"I need you," I said, lowering my voice and softening my stance. "I
haven't needed anyone in a long time, but I have no choice with you."
"This isn't fair," she said, hands in fists. "You're a dead man and you
expect me to make your final days special."
"You can say whatever hurtful shit you want, but I know you love me
too. We need to stop playing games."
Raven shook her head and tried to find something nasty to say that
would make me walk away from her. Nothing was changing my mind.
I saw on her face how she was stuck. More than anything she was
panicking.
"I'm not the losers you've been with before. I understand you."
"I' m going to fuck someone else," she said, walking away. "We can
still be fuck buddies. We'll just screw other people and it'll go back to
the way it was. You'll see how stupid you're being."
Raven walked around in a weird circle until realizing she had no way to
get home. Turning to me, she stared wide-eyed. I knew nothing I
thought to say would fix the fear in her expression.
"Do you want me to take you to Lark's house?" I whispered as she
stared at the dark road.
When Raven looked at me, her panic faded into something worse.
Despair. I'd said the right thing. She needed me to lash out and hurt her.
The only escape from her feelings was if I broke her heart. We both
knew that wasn't happening.
"I' m not your woman," she mumbled while walking to my Harley. "I'm
the thing you're holding onto because you're afraid to die."
I wished to steal away all of her fear and pain. "Say what you want.
Convince yourself we're nothing to each other. When you go to bed
tonight and it's quiet and you let yourself relax, you'll think of how I
love you and you'll know it's true."
Raven hid her face against my back and said nothing. Not as we

drove to Lark' s house or when she climbed off. Before she could
disappear inside, I took her by the arm and kissed her gently. Right
then, Raven needed soft and I needed her to find her way past the fear. I
hoped my tenderness helped her get through what I suspected would be
a difficult night.

Chapter Nineteen - Raven
My heart hurt and I felt like I might throw up. Entering the house, I
ignored Aaron who answered and rushed instead to Lark on the couch.
My sister knew me better than anyone. No, maybe not better than
Vaughn. He understood me, but that only made the pain worse.
Lark frowned at me as I knelt next to the couch. I took her hands and
stared panicked into her bright green eyes.
"Don't judge me," I whimpered like a baby, instead of her big
sister.
"What...?"
Sobbing, I clutched at her and Lark instantly wrapped her arms around
me. I never felt as low as I did right then. If Vaughn died, I would be
nothing. I feared his death more than anything.
Crying myself out, I cuddled Lark who caressed my head.
"Why would I judge you?" she finally asked.
"Crying is for losers."
"I cry."
"How many times do I have to tell you that tiny chicks get special
rules?"
Lark smiled down at me. "Did you have a fight with Vaughn?" "I
dumped him."
"Why?"
"He said he loved me." "Makes sense."
Sitting up, I took her hand in mine. "I saw my dad tonight and you
know what he said?"
"Something stupid?"
"He said he didn't want me around his club because everything I
touched turned to shit."
"Your dad's an idiot." "He has a point."
"When I said the same about Mom, you said I was wrong." Rolling my
eyes, I glanced at Aaron who was messing around in

the kitchen so we could have a little privacy.
"When I left, you built something great. I feel like I jinx things and I
can't jinx Vaughn. He's too special."
Tears welled up in my eyes and Lark hugged me again. "It'll be
okay."
"Vaughn walks into a room and makes everything better. He shouldn't
die for doing something good. I can't let him die."
"You're not the one putting him in danger."
"I have this bad feeling that something will happen to him if I say the
words."
"You're not a jinx," she said, wiping my face. "You're what he needs."
"You don't know that."
"Of course, I do. I'm very wise."
Despite my panic, I laughed. "Like Yoda. Maybe the wisdom comes
from your size."
"Don't make me smack you when you're already upset, Raven."
Grinning, I felt another wave of panic rush over me. "I keep seeing him
dead. I need to save him. Maybe I can pay someone to kill those fucks
in Tucson."
"With what?"
"I have some money."
"Even if you had enough, who would you hire? The guys in the club
won't do anything without Cooper's okay."
"He's taking too long to do anything," I whimpered. "Cooper's going to
let them kill Vaughn. I need to do something."
"I don't want to interrupt," Aaron said.
"Then don't."
Ignoring me, Aaron continued, "I care about Vaughn too. He's my
friend and I want him to live a long life with his balls rolling around in
your purse. Mostly, I want to mock him for claiming he would never
fall for a chick. As much as I want him to be okay, you need to give
Coop some slack. The guy is twenty two, newly married with a kid on
the way, and he's been the president of the club for a few months. He
wants to do the right thing and that's not always easiest to know. What's
best for you

and Vaughn might not be what' s best for the club. Coop has more than
one life in his hands."
Realizing Aaron was irritated, maybe even angry, I thought to slug
him. I didn't want rational. I wanted emotional. I wanted someone to
save Vaughn even if other people suffered. My heart only cared about
one perfect man.
"I get it. I do, but that's all logical shit and I'm not feeling logical. I' m
afraid and my fear says I need to do whatever possible to save
Vaughn."
"I know, but you don't have the kind of money that would be necessary
to get someone capable of taking out a few members of a motorcycle
club."
"How hard would it be really?" I asked. "Bailey said it would be like
four guys that needed killing."
"You start spilling blood and you can't always decide when the blood
stops flowing. Even if you could hire someone to travel to Tucson and
he was able to ambush four badass killers, he would have the club on
his ass forever. The Devils are linked to drugs and gun running. You
think they'll just let your hit man walk away? You think they won't
come after you and Vaughn for payback? It won't be four guys."
"So they can't be killed?"
"If Coop decides to call in someone, it would need to be a pro and they
don't come cheap. If it's the Reapers taking out the Devils, the
remaining club in Tucson will walk away. The pros leave calling cards
and there are few people who want to fuck with a real assassin. Not
worth the effort when they're going to be fighting to keep their
territory. Killing you and your hired gun won't mean as much."
No matter what Aaron said, I still wondered about finding someone to
deal with the Devils. My brother-in-law was Cooper's guy and Cooper
wanted to be the one to decide. In reality, they didn't want me
interfering with their plans because I wasn't in the club. I was an
outsider and needed to mind my own business. Normally, I would, but
Vaughn was my business and I would find a way to save him if
possible.
Lark babied me for a while then I babied her then Aaron said she
needed to go to bed so he could baby her. I was stuck watching TV with

the dogs until I dozed off wondering how I could save Vaughn. If he
was safe, I could say the words without jinxing him.
I woke up to Aaron talking to the dogs about Deputy Dipshit who was
bugging someone down the street about their car alarm. Lark shuffled
out in her Barney slippers. I heard them whispering about how I was
sleeping. Before I could announce I was awake, they returned to the
bedroom and didn't emerge for an hour.
Sitting on the porch, I wondered if Vaughn was awake. He always
woke up quickly like a starter's pistol went off in his system. I was
groggy and a mess. He was lively and usually ready for morning sex.
Fortunately, he didn't care if I participated much when it was early.
I missed him and the edginess made me chew half a pack of Nicorette.
Giving up smoking had gone well until this morning. Now, I wanted to
smoke a few cartoons to take the edge off.
Once Aaron left for the shop, I headed inside where Lark sat on the
couch with her feet up. We didn't say much while eating muffins and
watching the Today Show. By the time Bailey arrived, Lark looked
ready for a nap. I was still dying for a smoke, but Bailey had something
else on her mind.
"I' m getting a boob job," Bailey announced. "I want to attract a better
quality of guy."
Lark and I glanced at each other and fought the urge to roll our eyes.
Standing up, I walked to Bailey.
"You're like a little sister to me, so I'm going to tell you what I would
tell Lark in this situation."
"I hope you plan to say, 'Go for it. I support you no matter what,'"
Bailey said. "That's what I'm looking for here."
"If you're going to have surgery to change your body just so you can get
dates, I think you're an idiot. If you want to have a doctor cut into you
because you haven't found the right guy even though you're nineteen, I
think you're a super fucking idiot."
Bailey frowned. "You guys are always telling me I need to change, so
people will like me more."
"I never said that," Lark mumbled, leaning back on the couch. "I like
you the way you are."

Bailey's frown darkened. "I saw a shrink and she said I'm insecure.
She's right because I don't like my boobs."
"Shut up while I finish," I said, taking her by the shoulders. "If you
want to get new boobs because you want to feel prettier, I support you.
If you want to bleed to improve yourself for you, I support your
decision. As long as you're doing it for you and not to land a guy, I
support you. Guys come and go, but you'll always have you. Besides,
new boobs will be a cosmetic change and you're insecure on the
inside."
"I'm hot, but my boobs aren't. They let me down when I wear sexy
clothes."
"Hey, I'm not going to pretend like having nice tits isn't great. I love my
girls. Just promise me you won't go crazy with the size," I said, walking
into the kitchen. "I knew a girl at the strip club who had huge boobs.
She was very plastic looking anyway which was sad because I think
she was likely gorgeous without the super tan and bleached hair.
Anyway, her boobs looked painful like the skin was stretched too
much. Not sexy. Keep your boobs realistic for your body. Be Bailey
with nice boobs, not huge boobs with some girl attached to them."
Bailey smiled. "I grew up in a place with new girls coming to town
every year. They were always so pretty and I thought I'd be like them. I
don' t know why my boobs stayed so small."
"I like small boobs," Lark announced, eyes still closed. "They fit the
rest of me."
"Can you imagine big honkers on your body?" Bailey snorted. "How
you would walk around with them?"
"I couldn't and that's why I'm happy with my little ones. Aaron likes
them just fine."
"Didn't need that visual," Bailey said, winking at me. "Will you help
me pick out my new boobs?"
"Sure. I like shopping."
Lark laughed then made a weird noise. "Heartburn."
"What happens when the hormones kick in and your boobs inflate?" I
asked. "Pregger chicks get bigger boobs and you'll get bigger for two."
Opening her eyes a bit, Lark flipped me off. "I have enough

problems not projectile vomiting on you right now. Let's not freak me
out about giant boobs, okay?"
"Sorry," I said as Bailey and I laughed from a safe distance. "I'll make it
up to you by going shopping. I see the list on the fridge and you can
stay home and rest while I do slave work."
"I'll do your dishes," Bailey said, eyeing the kitchen. "Clean up the
counter too. Helping is fun and not at all boring or beneath me."
Lark grinned. "I' m feeling really crappy though. Like I need you to do
the laundry and sweep the floors kind of crappy."
Bailey and I glanced at each other then back at little Lark reclined on
the couch. She was so fragile and I didn't want to think of how
miserable she would be once the bump of hers exploded into a full
fledged camel hump.
"Bailey will start the laundry and I'll finish it when I get back from the
store."
"Yeah, we'll tag team your to-do list into submission."
My little sister beamed at us from the couch and her happiness
distracted from my worries over Vaughn. Once I was in Aaron's Honda
on the way to the store, my mind returned to the sexy bastard who
owned my heart.
The grocery list consisted of mainly odd pregnancy craving foods.
Peppers, onions, limes, lemons plus a few other basics like bread and
beef. I picked up a bouquet of flowers for Lark too and mint ice cream.
I remembered her mentioning in passing how the flavor might work
with her peculiar cravings.
"Remind me not to come to your house for dinner," Dylan said,
pushing his cart next to mine.
I sized up my tall, muscular, and mohawk sporting stepbrother. "It's for
Lark, fuckwit."
His dark eyes amused, he sighed. "You're as eloquent as ever,
twatface."
"Is it time to kick your ass again?" I asked, cracking my knuckles.
Dylan scratched at his stubbled jaw. "I'm not letting you win this time,
dingus."
"You know, Lark says you don't think of us as your sisters, but you

sure act like a shithead little brother." "I'm older."
"Not mentally."
Dylan grinned. "How is Lark?"
"Fine."
"How are you? You look crankier than usual." "I' m fine. Do you really
care?"
"Sure, why not? I'm nice now. Lark told me not to be an asshole like
Larry and I just switched off my asshole gene."
"Never occurred to you to turn it off before?" I asked, pushing my
cart.
"No. Asshole has always worked for me."
"I didn't thank you for helping out Lark when Larry and his grease ball
brother attacked her. Thanks, turdmuncher."
"You're welcome, skank. I'm glad you came back to town. Lark needs
you. Baldy is no substitute."
"I call him Mister Clean and Yule Brenner."
"I've referred to him as Telly Savalas and Cooper knew who I meant.
Didn't even correct me."
Laughing, I smacked his arm. "I like this new less asshole version of
you."
"Would you lose respect for my self-improvement if I called your mom
a bitch?"
"She is a bitch."
"Cool because the bitch is here with her bitch friends from the country
club."
My mother was still beautiful, but I sensed her cold personality even
from a distance. She noticed us and waved as if happy to see her slut
daughter and loser stepson. I knew it was a show for her friends, so I
flipped her off. Dylan laughed and flipped her off too.
"I don't think I'll be invited to Thanksgiving dinner at this rate," he said
as we started walking to the checkout.
"Who gives a shit? Holidays with your dad and my mom were lame
anyway. You can have dinner with Lark and me. She'll cook and I' ll
help and Telly can play with his ugly dogs."

Dylan grinned. "I'll bring beer and something for Lark to drink.
Whatever she's craving by then."
"Poor tiny broad is miserable, but this crap might make her feel
better."
"For this months away dinner, will you be bringing your scary biker
boyfriend? I only ask because I might have to hide my assholeness
more if he's around. Don't want to get my ass kicked."
Struggling not to wonder if Vaughn would be alive in November, I
grinned. "Won't be any worse than when I kicked it."
Clearly remembering the fight differently, Dylan smirked, yet said
nothing. We checked out, gave my mom another middle finger, before
heading to the parking lot. I wished him well and meant it. Life was full
of changes and I decided to follow Lark's lead by viewing Dylan as a
friend rather than a member of the enemy camp.
Lark was asleep when I arrived home. Once I put away the food, I
swept the floor then folded clothes with Bailey. We had many giggles
at Aaron's wide selection of graphic boxers. I was still thinking about
them after Bailey left and Aaron arrived home.
We sat on the couch, not talking. I knew he wanted to say something
about Vaughn. He knew I wanted him to keep his trap shut. We settled
on awkward silence until Lark appeared full of sleepy grins.
"I like having maids," she announced, sitting between me and Aaron.
"Hey, I saw Mom at the store and flipped her off for you." "Thanks,
sis."
"I also got you mint ice cream."
Lark leaned her head against me. "I've never loved you more."
"Shallow bitch. Now what are you two going to do to entertain me, so I
won't spend all night crying over Vaughn?"
"Crap," Aaron muttered. "I was hoping you would run back to him by
now. I was looking forward to running around the house naked."
Lark giggled. "I like when you do that."
Rolling my eyes, I got up and walked to the kitchen. "I'm not running
back to Vaughn. Well, I shouldn't because I'm a jinx and I need to
protect him. With that said, he runs around naked at his place and I

miss that view."
"Sure, Vaughn's a sexy guy, but mine is better," Lark said, winking at
Aaron.
"Vaughn is really sexy," I said, missing him and wondering what he
was doing right then. "He's funny too. I've never been with a guy who
was so funny. He can scare you one minute and make you laugh the
next. He's amazing."
Lark studied me then glanced at Aaron. When they were both watching
me, I realized I was crying. Wiping away the stupid tears, I shook my
head.
"I wish I was like you two," I said, smiling weakly at them. "I ruin
things with guys and I can't ruin Vaughn. He's special."
An awkward moment passed as I fought with my need to be selfish and
go to Vaughn. I needed him, but I knew I would bring bad luck down
on him.
"You guys want to go to the movies?" Aaron asked as Lark cuddled
with him.
They were so comfortable together. Always relying on each other to
feel right in the world. Vaughn needed someone to rely on, but I
couldn't be that person. I was too messed up and I'd jinx him.
"I'd like to see something funny," Lark said. "I know preggos usually
have bladder issues, but so far I don't. I want to take advantage of that
by laughing without peeing myself."
I smiled at my little sister. "Man, marriage sure has made you sexy."
"Hell yeah," Aaron said, kissing Lark and making me feel like a perv to
watch them.
"I'll steal your dork Honda, go home, and clean up for the movies," I
muttered, heading for the door as they made out. "You two get the
horny out of the way, so the movies won't be weird for me."
"I can finally get naked," Aaron announced as I shut the door.
I left them to enjoy what I wanted to hungered to do with Vaughn. On
the drive, I listened to every channel on the radio in an attempt to stop
thinking about him. Instead, the songs all reminded me of Vaughn. I
thought about how he watched me sing karaoke and didn't make fun of

my horrible singing. He even liked my rough voice. Not in a fake way
like guys would lie about shit to get in a girl's pants. Vaughn honestly
liked my voice. He liked a lot of my flaws. He loved me.
Arriving at my apartment, I started thinking about how I might get the
cash to pay for a hit man. I had a few thousand from the cage fights, but
doubted that would be enough. Even with no idea how to find a killer, I
knew I had to save Vaughn. If he was safe, maybe my habit of turning
things to shit wouldn't ruin him. We could be together and I could
finally have the love of an amazing man.
Until then, I had to avoid Vaughn. I just wasn't strong enough to tell
him no. I missed every damn thing about him. No, I needed distance.
So when I got home and saw the text from him asking to talk, I knew
lies were my only way out.
"I have a date tonight. We can talk tomorrow," I texted back.
My text had the desired effect because he didn't respond. A pissed
Vaughn was likely headed to a bar to find a pretty girl to work out his
aggravations with and it was my fault.
Jealous like never before in my life, I fought the urge to text him and
ask to talk. Send him a shot of me topless, anything to keep him from
fucking someone else. Instead, I imagined him dead and knew I needed
to stay away.
Once in the shower, I let myself cry a little. Vaughn deserved to live a
long and happy life with everything he desired. I even considered
killing the Devils myself. I wasn't great at many things, but I could kill
to protect the ones I loved and I did love Vaughn. I'd probably die in the
process. Killing enough of those fuckers and protecting Vaughn would
make my sacrifice worth it.
As I dried off and dressed, my mind wondered how to get the names
and locations of the guys in charge of the Devils. I bet Tawny would
help me get weapons. Or Bailey would or I could just buy the damn
things. Then, I'd drive to Tucson and find the ones who put a bounty on
Vaughn's beautiful head. If I was careful, I could kill more than one
target before they killed me. As a hot chick, those guys wouldn't view
me as a threat. I could get close enough...

In the dark living room, Vaughn sat with his arms crossed and legs
propped up on the table.
"What the hell?" I cried, taking a moment to identify the big guy in the
corner.
"I said we need to talk."
"You're nuts," I mumbled, soothing my beating heart. Mostly, I didn' t
know how to keep enough distance between us to avoid me giving him
anything he wanted.
"Probably," Vaughn said, standing up and walking towards me in a
casual manner, "but love can make a man do crazy things."
"What do you want to talk about?" I asked, moving to the kitchen as he
followed.
"Not here."
"What?" I muttered, turning to find him right behind me.
Before I could speak, Vaughn had me around the waist while pressing a
cloth against my mouth. I struggled against his hard body. It was like
wrestling with a brick wall. He never faltered and I passed out thinking
it had been stupid to turn my back on a pissed guy.

Chapter Twenty - Vaughn
If abducting the woman I loved was wrong, I didn't want to be right.
Maybe a different guy would find a better way to make Raven listen. I
wasn't a different guy and I didn't know how to do soft when imagining
my woman fucking another guy. Hell, chloroform was as soft as I got
when jealousy tore me up.
Once Raven was wrapped in a blanket, I carried her down to my truck.
I ran into Kirk and Jodi who were taking a walk. They eyed me then
Raven's face peeking out from the blanket. Jodi checked her while Kirk
frowned hard at me.
"We're just going to talk at the cabin," I said when he fiddled with the
gun on his hip.
"If she doesn't come back in one piece, it won't be the Devils who put a
bullet between your eyes, Outlaw."
"Understood."
Jodi swiped hair from Raven's eyes then sighed. "Kids today make
everything so damn complicated."
Kirk rested an arm around his wife and they started walking again.
"People are just dumber these days, babe."
As they disappeared into the woods, I carried Raven the rest of the way
to the truck. Soon, I had her propped up against me while I drove away
from the Johansson place and towards my cabin.
The drive took nearly an hour because the path from the main highway
to my home wasn't paved. Rough and dangerous in the dark, it required
finesse to keep from hitting passing animals or fallen trees. I hadn' t
been to the cabin in weeks and anything might await me. Nonetheless,
this was where my gut demanded I take Raven to make her listen.
The bumpy ride nearly woke her a few times and she stirred again when
I carried her inside the cabin. Resting Raven on the couch, I turned on a
few lights and checked for damage from the weather or animals. I
found everything in working order then returned to the main room.
Along a wall was a small fridge, stove, and sink. A few cabinets on

the wall and not much else, my kitchen was simple. The cabin was
comfortable, yet sparse. I went out there to pretend the world wasn't
waiting outside the woods to eat me alive.
With Raven, I wanted to pretend we were safe from our pasts and only
a happy future together awaited us. I needed to lie and I needed Raven
to lie too. As soon as she woke up, I'd know if she was willing to lie for
me.
Based on her reaction upon waking, the answer was no.
"You crazy fuck!" she screamed, wobbling away from me and
throwing a box of tissues in my direction.
"You look nice for your date," I said, staying very still so she wouldn't
panic and hurt herself. "I want you to only look nice for me. I don't
think that's crazy."
"You're deranged. You kidnapped me."
"Abducted sounds better. You're not a kid."
"Fuck you!" she screamed, holding onto a table. Seeing the lamp, she
yanked it free from the wall and held it like a weapon. "Take me
home!"
"We need to talk, Raven."
"About your crazy damn brain? No thanks."
"I'm not going to hurt you. Put the lamp down."
We both knew telling her to do something meant she was less likely to
do it. In fact, she lifted the lamp higher and eyed me as if evalutating
the best place to nail me with it.
"I heard you crying in the shower," I said, sitting down in a chair and
watching her.
"I was crying because I'm horny. Nothing more than that. If you had
backed off, I could have gotten laid and no more tears."
"Who is he?" I growled, losing my temper despite my best effort to be
calm.
"Why? So you can hunt him down and kick his ass? I'm not going to be
with a crazy fuck, so beating up a guy won't make any difference."
"Just tell me who he is? An old boyfriend? Someone you met while we
were together?"
"Are you calling me a cheating whore because I'll crush your skull

just for that?"
Leaning forward, I rested my elbows on my knees and sighed. "Raven,
just tell me."
A few minutes passed as she fought to keep her footing, but I could see
she was dizzy. Finally, she looked at the front door as if planning to
make a run for it.
"I was going out with Lark and Aaron. We were seeing a movie, you
stupid fuck."
"Why didn't you just say that on the phone?"
Raven' s gaze met mine and I thought she might cry. Yet, her tears
would be a result of rage, not sadness.
"You drugged me, Vaughn."
"I know. I wanted you to talk to me and you wouldn't." "This isn't how
normal people behave, you freak." "We're not normal people," I said,
studying her. "It's a heavy lamp. You might want to put it down before
holding it wears you out." "Stop telling me what to do." "Raven, I love
you." "I don't care."
Arms tired, she relented and set the lamp back down. Instead, she
clenched her hands into fists. "I'm leaving." "You can't."
"I'll take your keys and kick your ass and I'll leave. Sounds easy."
Grinning, I leaned back in the chair. "I love when you get feisty. Even
if you got my keys and kicked my ass..." "If?" she interrupted, lifting a
brow.
"The road is tricky at night. Even for me and I know the way. You'd
likely crash out in the dark and be stuck until the morning."
Studying me, Raven realized I was telling the truth. "I hate you." "You
love me though. It evens out."
"What about Lark? Does she know what happened because she could
be worried and she's fragile right now?" "Call her."
"You grabbed me before I took my phone."

"Use mine," I said, gesturing towards the front table. "Once you tell her
that you're okay, we'll talk. Tomorrow, I'll take you home."
"I'm not fucking you tonight," she said, going for the phone. "I'm never
fucking you again. Unless you just plan to force me."
Frowning, I hated the look on her face. She wasn't playing around.
Raven was genuinely scared of me. For the first time, I wondered if
drugging and forcing her to the cabin was a bad idea. Was it too fucking
crazy even for me?
"How would you feel if I was fucking another chick? I asked, needing
Raven to show she cared.
"Not my problem who you fuck."
"Look me in the eyes and say you wouldn't care."
Raven walked over to where I sat, leaned forward, and stared into my
eyes. "I wouldn't care if you fucked my roller derby team and posted
the video on the Internet."
"You're lying," I said, wanting to kiss her snarling lips.
Raven stepped back. "Yeah, but I look into your eyes and lied."
"I love you."
"You already said that. You can stop now."
"No," I muttered, crossing my arms. "I wanted to say it before and held
back. I' m not holding back anymore."
"You'll say it too much and it'll lose its power," she said, texting Lark.
"You'll ruin the word."
I waited until she finished with my phone. Once her attention was fully
on me, I held her gaze and Raven didn't look away.
"We can't ruin that word. Maybe some fucks in your past ruined the
word because it meant something else to them. For me, love means
freedom and home. It seems I'm not lost anymore. I can say it a million
times and it will always mean I've found somewhere I belong and that's
with you."
Raven reached for the couch and I sensed she woke too fast and
frenzied.
"Maybe you should sit down. I drugged you." "I was there, Vaughn."
"I saw you leave your sister's. When you said you were going on a

date, I just panicked."
"You keep chloroform around for these occasions?" she asked, sitting
on the couch away from me.
"Actually, yes. Sometimes, I need to go into a situation soft and that' s
my version of soft with assholes. With you, it was something
else."
"I can't believe you did that."
"I can't have you fuck another guy. It would kill me and I'd have to kill
him. Fact of life."
"It's been a day, Vaughn. If you gave it more time, you might stop
loving me. You'd get over it."
Frowning, I joined her on the couch. "You dated some lame fuckers if
you think you can just get over love."
"I got over it. I loved those lame fuckers and now I don't."
"Did you love them like you love me?"
Raven refused to look at me and that was enough of an answer.
"I'm special, cookie. Best for you to just accept that."
Smiling despite her best efforts, she shook her head. "You're nuts."
"You like my crazy though."
Raven avoided my gaze, but I noticed the corner of her mouth lift. "We
can't work," she said, her voice losing its heat. "I have bad luck with
men."
"I'm not men. I'm the stud you love."
Grinning, she covered her mouth and shook her head again. "Stop. It's
not funny. You grabbed me like a mad man."
"Yeah. We'll want to leave that part out when we tell stories to our kids
one day."
Raven glanced at me and the humor in her expression was gone.
"You're going to die. There'll be no kids."
"We don't know what's going to happen."
"I can't take the chance."
"You're brave enough to give us a chance."
"You don't understand," she said, suddenly panicked.
"Help me understand."
"It hurt," she whimpered. "When Dex dumped me, it hurt. When

Vic dumped me, it hurt. They were losers. I didn't even like them at the
end. They were nothing, but it still hurt. How will I survive losing you?
How will I breathe?"
"I' m never letting you go," I said, kneeling on the floor in front of her.
"That's what the chloroform was about."
"They're going to kill you," she said in a child's voice. "You're going to
die like Phoenix and I can't survive that."
"My job is dangerous. Judd and Tawny make it work."
"No," she whimpered, cupping my face. "That's how you could die.
That's a maybe like how people can die in car accidents. People talk
like you will die. There's no if, only how soon. I can't..."
Breathing too fast, Raven tried to squirm away, but I kept her pinned. I
saw now how she'd never faced her pain. The oldest child in a family
with a shitty mother and revolving fathers, Raven hid from her loss and
fear. She wanted to hide now, but it was too late.
"I love you," I whispered. "The moment I saw you, I wanted you. The
moment you gave me shit, I wanted you more. Every time we fucked or
laughed made me want you more. I lied to myself about us. I tried to be
sane about what I could have with you. We 're not fuck buddies or
friends with benefits or biding our time until someone else comes
along. We're real and I don't just want you anymore. I need you in my
life if I want to get up in the morning. No other man can have you. No
one is taking you from me. You're mine and I'm keeping you. I don't
care if that seems crazy or stupid. It's too late to lie anymore."
"Maybe I could go to Tucson a n d . "
" N o . "
"Wait, they wouldn't expect me and I heard that the top guys in the
Devils aren't easy to replace. I could kill them and you'd be safe." Her
expression broke my heart. "And what if they hurt you?" "I can't let you
die."
"And if you died, I'd have no reason to live. You'd save me only so I
could wish to die."
Raven stared exhausted at me. "I need to lie because the truth is too
much. I can't be strong thinking you'll die. Please, let me try to kill
them."

Despite how ridiculous the idea was, I never loved Raven more than
when she begged me to let her kill my enemies. She just wanted to be
my heroine even if it meant spilling blood including hers.
"Sugar, you can't kill them. Executing people isn't something your
heart would allow."
"You don't know. To save someone I love, I could do anything."
"And you love me?"
Raven looked away. "I feel like something bad is coming. Like a black
cloud is hanging over us. We shouldn't tempt fate." "By saying we love
each other?"
Raven nodded. "I tempted fate the day Phoenix died. I thought about
how good our life was and nothing could make me feel different. I liked
our house and our stupid stepdad and I was happy. Nothing bad would
happen to take it away then he died and it all went away. I jinxed my
family and Phoenix died."
"You know that's not your fault."
"Logically, it was my stupid stepdad's fault, but you can jinx yourself.
You can make bad things happen by wishing too much for good
things."
Studying Raven, I realized she was really out of it. The chloroform had
done a number on her. Fatigue and panic broke her down until she was
a superstitious child afraid to look under the bed.
"You don't need to say it," I told her, helping Raven to her feet. "We'll
rest and..."
"I' m not fucking you," she said, pushing me away. "What you did by
bringing me here was crazy. I' m not rewarding that bullshit."
"Thanks for the life lesson, mom," I teased, nudging her towards the
bedroom. "We'll sleep and talk in the morning"
"Is it safe here in the woods?"
"Yes."
"What if something attacks?"
"Like what?"
"I don't know."
"I have more guns here than at my apartment. If something attacks,
we'll shoot it and go back to sleep."

Raven smiled slightly. "You're strong, Vaughn. You can survive." "I
will survive. Nothing is taking me away from you." "Shh..." she hissed.
"You'll jinx it." "Okay, baby."
Raven stripped down to her panties and tee then crawled into bed. She
glanced back at me and made clear no fucking was occurring. I just
smiled as I removed every stitch of my clothes. I slept naked and her
life lesson wasn't changing this fact.
Raven cuddled next to me. "I missed you."
"I missed you too. I spent all day thinking about you."
"Were you naked?"
"Yeah, mostly."
Eyes closed, Raven grinned. "If you're not tired, you don't have to stay
with me."
"I didn't sleep well last night. I was too busy missing you." Raven
laughed then held onto me tightly. "I feel weird." "I' m sorry I drugged
you. I really thought you were going out with a guy."
"Yeah, then it would have totally been okay."
"Tell me you wouldn't be jealous."
"Psycho jealous, but I'd stay away. I want to protect you."
"You're not a jinx, tulip. Since I've met you, things have been better.
Loving you is a gift, not a curse," I said then added quietly, "I wish
you'd say you loved me. I'm feeling insecure."
Raven brushed her lips against mine then glared down at me. "Asshole.
No way are you insecure."
"True, but I want to hear it. I've tossed my balls into your damn purse. I
just want to know you'll take good care of them."
Giving me a little smile, Raven caressed my cheek. "Promise me
nothing bad will happen if I say it."
"I promise, kiwi. If anything bad happens, it'll be because of what I did
years ago."
"You were a hero and don't call me kiwi. Dex used to call me
Kiki." "Why?"

"I have no clue. He smoked a lot of pot. Likely killed too many brain
cells."
"No more kiwi then."
Raven studied me in the darkness and I loved those eyes. They were
wise and innocent at the same time. They were the eyes of the woman I
loved, but she was still afraid.
"I love you," she whispered then looked around like the house might
fall on us.
"Those words are like music."
"I'd rather die than have something bad happen to you. I mean
that."
"I feel the same way about you, rosebud." "No sex," she muttered,
removing my hands from her butt. "You want to punish me. Well,
what's more of a punishment than caressing your sweet ass and
knowing I can't spend any time inside
you."
"Oh, in that case," she said, returning my hands to her warm skin.
"Suffer, bitch."
"I am sorry I drugged you." "No, you're not."
"Well, I am now that I know you weren't going on a date. Had I known
you were still wrapped around my finger, I totally would have handled
things different."
"I'm going to sleep now."
"I'll be here when you wake up."
"Promise," she whispered and I heard real fear in her voice.
"I promise, Raven. Nothing is taking me away from you."
Her breathing shifted and slowed as sleep took her. While I was tired,
rest didn't come quickly. The last twenty four hours, I thought of
nothing besides making Raven admit what I knew. We belonged
together.

Chapter Twenty One - Raven
Waking up next to Vaughn felt like heaven, even if the reason I was at
the cabin was insane. I couldn't believe he had drugged me. Or maybe I
could. Vaughn lived in his own world and apparently his behavior
made sense to him.
I put aside his crazy and focused on how he loved me. I loved him too.
If only it were that simple, we could be happy. Even for average
people, nothing was simple and Vaughn wasn't average. Despite my
fears, in my heart, I knew he was mine.
Getting up, I dressed in my running shorts and tee before walking to the
kitchen. I dug around in the drawers until I found coffee grounds. Soon,
the coffee was brewing and I was fixing the lamp I'd yanked from the
wall the night before.
Vaughn appeared as I poured us coffees. His expression was
unreadable, but I knew he was waiting to see my reaction.
"Don't be afraid," I said as he remained stuck at the doorway. "I can't
kill you since I don't know the way home."
Grinning, he walked over and took his cup of coffee. "I love you.
Nothing changed from a good night's sleep."
"I'm still afraid. So no, nothing's changed."
Vaughn leaned back against the counter and studied me. "You
hungry?"
"No. Can we sit outside and drink our coffee?"
He reached for my hand and I let him take it. Even if I wanted to be
angry, he looked vulnerable. I didn't have the heart to kick him when he
needed me to hold him.
The front of the cabin had a porch with five large steps leading to what
I assumed was the yard. The cabin was stuck in the middle of the
woods. Around us, large trees hovered and I liked how quiet it felt.
Only the birds chirped and bugs sang.
"Are you feeling okay?" he asked, pushing my hair behind my ear.
"Yeah. No aftereffects from being abducted by a sexy nutjob."
"I don't have a lot in my life that I can't stand to lose. I thought I

was losing you and freaked out. Some chicks might find that romantic."
Giving him a little grin, I sighed. "I might not be strong enough for this,
Vaughn."
"You're the strongest chick I've ever met," he said, caressing my
bruised knuckles. "You love me too."
I heard the question, even though he stated it as a fact.
"I do love you. It's not sex. It hasn't been sex for a while, but I never
thought we could have anything else. Even knowing that, I would think
of us together in the future. I would imagine what our kids might look
like. When something happened, even small stuff, you were the first
person I wanted to tell. Not Lark, but you. That scared me so much
because I always felt like we were on borrowed time. This last week, I
kept seeing you dead. My mind showed it to me again and again. It
killed me a little more each time. Now, I'm scared to lose you for real."
"You were never going to be with anyone else, were you? I mean, I
never even considered another chick after you said we were over. I
need to know you never thought about another guy. It's immature
maybe, but I need to know."
"If I lose you, there's no one else. Ever. Those guys before were losers
and I was a loser to hold onto them. You're more amazing than I ever
imagined a guy could be. I've always been willing to settle. Yet with
you, it's not settling. It's like a dream. I know that sounds lame, but I
wake up wondering what you'll say and do. What you think about
things? I want to see the world from your eyes. No guy has ever been
like that for me. No guy could ever be like that for me again. It's you or
nothing."
"Thanks," he said, kissing my head. "It's important for me to know I' ve
ruined you for all other men."
Leaning against him, I laughed. "You're such a child. It makes me good
about my immaturity."
"We're emotionally stunted, but together we equal a normal adult."
"True."
'You know, I haven't been able to pick just the right nickname for you,
tulip pumpkin sugar darling. I can now. You're hope. You give me
hope."

Eyes burning, I wiped angrily at them. "I've turned into such a sissy
lately."
"Love will do that."
I smiled. "Yeah, it will." Setting aside my coffee, I stood up. "Can we
take a walk? It' s nice out here."
Vaughn looked like a little kid offered a chance to show off his favorite
toy. After pulling on our shoes, he offered his arm and we followed a
natural path. Both in our heads, we remained silent for a while then I
asked why he built a place out in the woods.
"The only family I had besides my mom was my granddad who lived in
the mountains of West Virginia. He used to be a plumber until my
grandma died and he sort of cracked up. He wanted away from the
world, so he used his saving to buy up some land and build a house."
Vaughn paused to change directions when the clearing ended and we
reached thick brush.
"During the summers, my mom didn't want me alone in our shitty
apartment and getting into trouble. I got sent off to Granddad's place
and it always sucked the first few days. No TV, no videogames, no
candy. Like death to a kid. I'd get up early and work all day around his
property. We had to hunt for our food and take care of the chickens and
cut wood. It was exhausting. I'd crash by eight a lot of nights. It was a
hard life, but there was a beauty to it. He and I would sit quietly for
hours. Sometimes, we'd talk, but he wasn't a chatty guy. He was as
hardcore as anyone I ever knew."
Arriving at a clearing, Vaughn reached down and tore a flower from a
bush. He pushed my hair back behind my ear then added the flower.
"I was thinking about him one night and I got it in my head that I
needed a place where I could hide from the shit in town. I never bought
into how I was a real Reaper. I was always on the outside. It was the
same in the Devils. My mom married Ted and his brother was the
president. I was just the guy who they gave the dirty work to. I never
felt like I belonged. I got the wolf tattoos because I wanted to be a lone
wolf, but it' s bullshit. Wolves belong to a pack and I want to belong
too. With you, I do."

Bending down to get a flower for his hair, I smiled. "Do you
believe in God?"
"Sure. Mom didn't believe in church. Said it was full of stuck up
assholes. I think that's because some jackass told her she was a whore
to have a kid out of wedlock. She still believed though."
"Do you think He cares about us?"
"Yeah, but not in a sissy way. Like he doesn't hold our hands and
shit."
"I always thought there was a god because I saw some really cool stuff,
but I didn't think He cared. Not after He let Phoenix die. I prayed for
Lark though and she found someone who makes her happy. I didn't
pray for myself, but now I've met you. Could that be God? If He wanted
us to meet then maybe you'll live and we can be together? Do you think
that's stupid?"
"Way I see it, believing in God and thinking He cares matters more
than if it's true. I didn't believe in shit until I met you. I was just living
day to day. Now, I believe in us and I have hope. I'm holding onto that
hope even if it doesn't make a damn bit of sense. If it gives us a chance
at being happy, faith is all we need. Can you have faith in us?"
Studying Vaughn, I felt my fear fading. "I can't believe someone as
amazing as you exists."
Grinning, Vaughn lifted his arms. "Ta da!"
When I lunged for him, he didn't miss a beat. His hands grabbed under
my butt and pulled me tight against him. My lips met his and I wanted
to devour every inch of him. As his hands gripped my ass, I ran my
fingers through his hair while grinding my hips against his.
"Wait," he muttered, reaching for my lips as I pulled away.
"No more waiting," I said, sliding off him and onto my knees.
Unbuckling his jeans, I grinned at him. "I like that you were worried
about me with someone else. Jealousy is really sexy on you."
"Baby, keeping up with a conversation isn't going to be possible."
Vaughn sighed as I released him from his jeans and gave his erection a
lick. Sucking him into my mouth, I savored every inch of him. When he
was rock hard and leaking onto my tongue, Vaughn decided to

take charge.
Lifting me up, he pressed me against a tree and slid over the clothes
separating us.
"I' m going to get chig bites all over my ass," I murmured while nipping
at his neck. "It'll be worth it."
Vaughn slid his strong fingers into my hair and tugged my head back.
He bit at my lower lip then stared hard into my eyes.
"Never tell me no again," he growled.
"Fuck off," I said, giving his chin a lick.
A smile spread across Vaughn's face and he entered me in one hard
thrust. Our bodies moved together, quickly finding a rhythm. Vaughn
sucked at my throat and I felt the pleasure building. Not only the
physical pleasure, but the joy of knowing I had found real love. I wasn't
chasing losers who would disappoint me. I'd discovered a beautiful
funny man who knew me better than anyone and loved it all.
When my orgasm washed over me, I felt reborn in Vaughn's arms. I
sensed he felt something similar. As his pleasure built to a fever pitch,
his gaze met mine.
"You're mine," he said, thrusting harder.
"And you're mine. No one is taking you away."
Smiling, Vaughn let go and we came together. I held onto him even
after we'd finished and his embrace never wavered. I wished to remain
like that forever.
"Wanna go inside and do this again?" I suggested.
Vaughn sighed and let me down slowly. I adjusted my clothes and he
redid his pants. We watched each other for a moment then he sighed
again.
"It's way past fucking." "I know. It's love."
Vaughn gave me a little smile. "If you'll stick it out with me, I will fight
anyone to stay alive. Until you, I was living because I didn't want to
die. Now, I have something real to live for. If you promise to give us a
real chance, I'll fight to live to be an old man."
Hugging him, I smiled. "I'm not leaving you. We're a team and I'll kill
to save you."

"Just stay with me and I'll worry about the killing." I rolled my eyes. "I
can kill too."
Vaughn smiled then took my hand as we started back to the cabin. "I
know you're good with a gun which I find incredibly sexy, but killing is
something else."
"If someone comes to kill you and I can stop them, I'm taking the shot.
I want you to be that old man getting sweet loving from this old
lady."
His smile widening, Vaughn glanced up at the sunny sky. "You give
me hope and I am not letting go of you or it."
"I'm sorry I blew you off at the bar that night."
"Your dad freaked you out then I freaked you out more."
"I handled it like a child. Threw a fit and ran away."
"Yeah, but I threw a fit and ran away from you too. We always find our
way back to each other because here is where we belong."
"Fuck yeah."
Vaughn grabbed me around the waist and tossed me over his shoulder.
"Let's get back to the cabin."
"I could walk faster," I said as he jogged.
"I don't want you wearing yourself out. Save that energy."
Laughing as he nearly ran back to the cabin, I was ready to go the
minute he tossed me gently into the bed. I stripped down then turned
around and wiggled my ass for him. Vaughn nearly pounced on me and
we didn' t stop for two hours.
After a short dozing nap, we ate soup in the family room.
"I like this place. It's quiet and smells like you."
"You really dig that body spray, don't you?"
"Yeah because it makes me think of you."
Vaughn smiled. "When this Devils shit gets dealt with, you and I can
spend weekends out here."
"Bring our kids out to teach them about the quiet."
Smile fading, Vaughn studied me. "I want a family, Raven. A real
family with all the boring crap most guys don't like. I miss that
closeness. We don't have to start right away, but I really want kids.
They

scare Judd, but I like the little stink machines."
Crawling closer, I kissed his bare shoulder. "I like them too."
Vaughn opened his mouth to say something then changed his mind. I
figured he was worried about jinxing things or maybe he was just
getting used to being in love. Kids could wait.
We washed the dishes and prepared to leave. I was about to tease
Vaughn about his choice of soups when a bullet tore through the
window and landed between us.
Vaughn moved so fast I never had time to react. He pushed me down as
a second shot whipped past. I stared up at him as his face hardened and
the killer in the man I loved came to the surface.
"The fucker is going to open fire," he said, getting onto his knees and
turning me around. "Crawl towards the hallway."
Before he finished his sentence, the shooter let loose with dozens of
shots, destroying the front windows. As glass shattered nearby, we
crawled into the hallway where he opened a closet and pushed me
inside.
The closet held his weapons locker. Vaughn grabbed a handgun and
gave it to me. Then, he took a rifle from the back.
"Stay in here. Don't come out."
"Vaughn," I said, wanting him to join me.
"I'm not letting that fucker come in here. I'll protect you."
"Stay with me. We can both be safe."
"Until he sets the cabin on fire," Vaughn said calmly while checking
his rifle. "He won't come in looking for us. The guy might shoot for
shit, but he's not dumb enough to think he would be safe walking in
here. No, he'll burn it down and shoot whoever comes running out."
"Please," I whimpered.
Vaughn leaned forward and kissed me softly. "Do you trust me?" When
I nodded, he caressed my lower lip. "This is what I do. Let me save my
woman, okay?"
Nodding again, I wanted so badly to force him to stay with me. We
could hide or wait for help. I knew they were both stupid ideas, but as
he shut the door to the closet, I was certain I would never see him again.
I held the gun and waited. Outside the closet, I heard more fast

shots followed by silence. The shooter would pause before letting loose
again. My mind imagined Vaughn dead a million times.
Rocking myself, I thought back to when I saw Phoenix floating in the
pool. I ran towards him and jumped in, all while thinking about how he
would be okay. As I pulled him from the water, I begged God to save
my little brother.
"Please, don't take him," I had said again and again as I tried to get
Phoenix to breathe.
Kneeling next to me, Lark had wept and held her doll. Our idiot
stepfather called for an ambulance once our screams woke him from
his hung-over nap. Giving Phoenix mouth-to-mouth like I saw on TV, I
tried to get him to breathe. All the while, I begged God not to take him.
As I waited for Vaughn to return, I begged God again. "Please, don' t
take him," I whispered over and over. The silence outside the closet
taunted me. Was Vaughn dead? Would the cabin burn to the ground
with me in it? I didn't care if I died. Not if Vaughn was gone. Not if God
took him from me like He'd taken Phoenix.
After an eternity, the door opened and I looked up to find Vaughn
unharmed. He held out a hand to me and I took it immediately. Once he
pulled me up, I grabbed at him, needing to know he was real and
unharmed.
Vaughn cupped my face and studied my panicked gaze. "You still in
this with me?" he asked and I heard fear in his voice.
"Till the end," I said, meaning every word. "He didn't take you."
Smiling, Vaughn kissed me. First slowly, tasting and savoring. Soon,
the kiss was nearly frantic, hungry and possessing. We were together
and he was claiming me. Not just me, but a future. If the Devils wanted
a war, Vaughn was ready to give them one.

Chapter Twenty Two - Vaughn
Before he became my mentor, Stinky lost his wife and baby son in a car
accident one stormy night. The grief was so unbearable he literally
drank himself to death. Even though the doctors resuscitated him, some
guys in the club said Stinky never really came back. He was a shell of a
man.
The one thing Stinky taught me was patience. Maybe it was because he
was dead inside, but the bastard had more patience than anyone I ever
met. We spent long stakeouts in a car where Stinky ate baloney
sandwiches and listened to baseball on the radio. To avoid going insane
from boredom, I learned patience and it made me a better man. It also
made me a better killer.
Shutting the door on Raven, my biggest concern was returning to her.
The best way to keep her safe was to stop thinking about Raven. Focus
on the perfect shot. That was where patience came in.
When I built the cabin, I made sure to sit it on top of a sizable crawl
space with an entry point near the closet. Dropping into the hole, I took
my rifle and wormed my way towards the shooter.
Testing for resistance, the bastard continued shooting then paused to
look for movement. When I reached the front of the cabin, the shooter
poked his head out to study the area. I sensed he was considering
escalating the attack, but was afraid to come out in the open. An
amateur had come to take out Outlaw and would pay with his life.
The guy didn't have the balls to attack. He fired a few more times and
waited. I waited too. My rifle held steady as I slowed my breathing. I
was in no hurry. Raven was safe in the closet. I'd stop the shooter
before he ever got within feet of her. I just needed to be patient. If I
fired too early and missed, he would know my spot and everything
would get more complicated.
Twice, I had decent shots. They weren't sure things, so I waited. I
wanted the first shot to be the last. I also wanted to ensure the idiot
didn't have backup.
He didn' t come out of his hiding spot for a long time and I knew

what he was thinking. It had been too easy. Had we died immediately?
Were we lying in wait? If he came out of his spot too early, would he
end up dead? What if we had called for help and he was wasting time?
He finally decided he had to make a move.
I made mine too and took the shot as soon as he stepped out from
behind the tree. As soon as he went down, I crawled out from under the
cabin and hurried to his lifeless body. Kicking him over, I didn't
recognize the guy. Based on the tats on his arms, he did time in prison.
His ID said he was from Arizona. The Devils' patience was up, but they
sent an amateur to do the job.
Returning to the cabin, I thought about the recent reports of a
suspicious man stalking my hangouts. Twice, security interrupted
someone breaking into my apartment. Both times, the guy got away.
He'd obvious tracked me out here and found a perfect spot to do his
dirty work. No one would have thought to come looking for me and
Raven for days.
I texted a quick message to Judd before reaching the closet. Never did I
worry Raven wouldn't be waiting for me. She was smart enough to
know when to obey. Just as I expected, she sat on the ground, still
holding the gun. She looked like a fallen angel when the light hit her,
but I knew she would have used the gun if I had been anyone else.
"You still sticking with me?" I asked, holding out a hand.
Eyes tired and afraid, Raven took my hand and stood up. "Till the end,"
she said, grabbing onto me. "He didn't take you."
"Never," I said, kissing her head as she clung to me.
"Who was it? A local guy or someone from the Devils?"
"An out of town guy sent by the club. Judd is on his way with a clean up
crew. I don't know if they'll be able to get here if that asshole's car is
blocking the road. I assume he didn't walk all the way out here."
Raven finally released me and we walked into the family room covered
with glass.
"The guy wasn't a pro. He had a decent rifle, but didn't take into
account the thickness of the windows," I said, grabbing a broom. "They
aren' t bulletproof obviously, but I paid more to have them extra thick
because of the storms. That and in case someone came shooting."

Raven picked up a chair knocked over by the gunfire. "Did you build
this cabin all by yourself?"
Frowning, I glanced at her and caught her grinning.
"Actually, I did. Every nail. Every curtain was all me."
"Once this crap with the Devils is over with, I'd like to come out here
for the weekend. It's beautiful and quiet."
I smiled at how damn perfect she was until she frowned at the curtains.
"I'm buying new ones."
"We'll see."
Raven smiled then fell silent while studying the quiet day. I set aside
the broom and walked to her.
"Is his body out there?" she asked. "I feel weird talking about curtains
with a dead body not far away."
"He would have killed us both and gone on with his life with extra cash
in his pocket."
"I know. I just feel weird."
"Don't think about it. When ugly shit happens, you have to push it aside
and think of something else. Think of tomorrow and the next day.
Down under the house, I didn't let myself panic because I knew I was
spending tonight with you. I had better things to think about. You need
to do that now. Think about whether we should spend the night at your
place or mine. Do you want to have dinner this weekend with Lark and
Aaron? Want to go bowling afterward? Think about that and not what's
outside."
Raven reached up and caressed my face. "I really like bowling with
you. I' ll think about that."
Holding her against me, I kissed Raven and didn't stop until I heard
Judd' s Harley on the road. Despite our embrace and her happy bowling
thoughts, she clung to me as we walked outside to meet him.
After he got the details, Judd said Cooper and Kirk were calling a
meeting. A few club guys were getting the car off the road and would
dispose of the body. I needed to get back into town and drop off Raven
before I met up with the Reapers leadership.
"Should I be worried about this meeting?" I asked Judd before

leaving with Raven. "Like I'll survive it, right?"
"Shit met the fan today, but I don't know what Cooper will do. He's
been in a state of indecision for months. Being a husband and dad has
made him fucking stupid. Either Kirk steps up to take over or Cooper
pulls his head out of his ass. This shit can't keep going on. Not with
them sending killers into the Johansson hometown."
Judd studied Raven who was glued to me in the truck. "Take her home
then get your ass to Whiskey Kirk's. No detours or quickies."
"Sure, bud. I'll find a way to nail her while driving."
Judd smirked, but it was Raven who made me jump by cupping my
balls.
"Really?" I asked, pulling away.
Raven removed her hand then cuddled closer. "I don't appreciate the
term 'nail' when discussing our hot fucking. I'm your woman and
deserve to be spoken of in a classier way. Also, I don't want a quickie. I
want to stretch out and enjoy my hero."
Pulling away, I said nothing while making my way down the road.
Finally, I sighed.
"I am a hero, aren' t I?"
"Supercock. Batcock. Spidercock. Which one fits you best?" "Yes. I'd
like to be referred to by all three preferably while I'm inside you."
"Can I be Wonder Pussy?"
"Hell, darling. In my head, I already have that exact tat sketched
out."
"Make sure my boobs look good in the tat," she said, stroking my chest.
After a moment, her mood shifted. "I'm still scared something bad is
going to happen at this meeting."
"Kirk isn't going to kill me after years of protecting me."
"Promise."
"I promise," I lied.
Maybe she knew I was guessing because Raven fell silent for the rest of
the drive. Her fingers gripped my shirt, less sex kitten, more terrified
little girl. Raven barely released me as we arrived at her place and
walked upstairs.

"It'll be fine."
"You're saying that because I give you hope. You're delusional."
Grinning, I cupped her delicate face and studied the fear in her sky blue
eyes.
"Do I give you hope?"
Raven's expression immediately warmed and she smiled. "You're more
than I ever dreamed and I don't want to let you go."
"You only have to let me go long enough for me to go to this meeting
then head to my place to clean up. I'll be back in a few hours to take you
out for dinner and some of the sexiest bowling your pussy can stand."
"I have a job tonight."
"Cancel it," I said and instantly she stiffened. "Babe, someone tried to
kill you today. I can't have you getting bruised up. I just can't handle
seeing that right now."
"I've won all my matches except one."
"Yeah, but you got bit in the first one I saw and bruised up in the
second. Just let me have this."
"I don't have the skills for another job, Vaughn."
"You can be my woman," I said while my hands cupped her butt. "Trust
me that's a fulltime job and the hours are a pain, but the benefits are
outstanding."
"Come back to me," she whispered in my ear.
"We're going to have a lot of fun tonight. It's a done deal."
Raven smiled, but her eyes were tired and afraid. Even after I kissed her
breath away, she watched me leave like I was going off to my death.
A part of me wondered if she was right. My gut said Kirk invested a lot
of time and effort into protecting me and flipping off the Devils. While
Cooper might be indecisive, he wasn't going to dismiss his father' s
efforts these last three years.
The parking lot at Kirk's was empty except for Harleys and one van for
Danny. Inside, I found Tucker and Cooper whispering in a corner. Kirk
sat nearby, legs stretched out, a beer in one hand and a corndog in the
other. The older Johansson was enjoying his retirement

evidently.
Judd stood with Tawny at the bar while a half dozen other guys
surrounded Danny's wheelchair. Back in the day, Danny was a rough
guy. He also had a long history with Kirk. When he got into a bar fight
and ended up paralyzed, his friend gave him a job at the bar. I knew
Danny had an old woman and a few kids in middle school. In the past,
he would have once gone head first into any fight. That behavior was
what cost him the use of his legs.
Now, he waned to play things safe. Judd said it was more of an age
thing than the injury. Either way, Danny was a guy who thought war
with the Devils was always a bad idea. He made this clear as soon as we
were all sitting around the table.
"We can't be sure what happens when those fuckers are dead. Do we
even know who they're tied with? Who their suppliers are? Taking out
these guys could be the opening shot in a war. Do we really need that
shit right now?"
Tucker crossed his arms and glanced at his brother. "They've been
attacking our territory for nearly a year. They turned one of our fucking
guys. Now, they've sent a killer into our town to kill one of our guys. If
we don't hit them hard, we're saying we're pussies."
"There's more here than ego," Danny said, his rough voice unnaturally
calm. "We have people and supply lines to worry about."
"How many fuckers might think about turning on us because we're seen
as weak?"
Cooper never reacted to the rising tempers. Two seats away, Judd sat
just as still, but I noticed his jaw twitching. Normally, the enforcer was
unreadable. When I glanced at Tawny, I saw why Judd was grumpy.
Her hands were in fists and she finally pounded them on the table.
"Why do you keep talking about this shit?"
Danny looked about ready to tell her to shut up. Likely, he remembered
why Tawny sat in on our meetings, so he said nothing.
"You keep talking and talking," she said to Cooper who showed no
reaction. "You want the answer to be obvious. If you do nothing while
they shoot up Ellsberg, you look weak. If you shoot up Tucson and kill
them, you look like a crazy fuck. Who gives a shit what the odds are of

one or the other? You're obsessed with thinking things out, but your
strength isn't you brain."
"Tawny..." Cooper muttered.
"No, shut up. Do you think your pop thinks shit to death? No. He goes
with his instinct and you need to the do the same fucking thing. You
already know the answer. You want him to signal you the right answer.
Waiting for him has made you stupid. Fuck your brain. Logic says you
and Farah don't make sense. Your instinct said otherwise. What should
you listen to?"
Cooper's jaw relaxed. "Your sister is the hottest thing in town."
Tawny exhaled hard. "You've known what to do all along, but you
think you have to listen to others and wait for your pop to give you the
answer. He knows it and so do you. Just do it already."
Cooper stood up and glanced at his father. "We kill the fuckers."
Standing, Kirk stretched casually. "I'll call Memphis."
Danny was clearly pissed while the other guys were nervous about
starting shit with no clear end point. They wouldn't speak up now with
Cooper and Kirk on the same page. It was a done deal.
"Are you okay?" I asked Tawny who was shaking.
"No," she said, walked to Judd and curling up in his lap. "Fuck anyone
who judges me. If someone gives me shit, Judd will shoot them in the
face."
Judd wrapped his arms around his woman and smiled. "I haven't shot
anyone in a couple of weeks."
The other guys headed outside to bitch. While the rest of us waited for
Kirk to return and make the call, Tawny smiled at Cooper.
"Sorry I called you a fucking idiot."
"You didn't."
"Oh, in my planned speech, I did. I guess I went off script."
"You're funny. Good thing your man has a trigger finger."
"Or what?" Tawny said, her head cradled in the crook of Judd's neck.
"You'd tell my sister you... what?"
Cooper grinned. "Danny's going to talk shit about you now."
"I' m going to talk shit about his shallow grave," Tawny said, looking
tired. "I'm glad you're listening to your gut. You're Kirk's son

and that makes you smart."
Looking more confident than I'd seen him in months, Cooper smiled.
"Thanks, but how do you explain Tucker? Are you saying my mom
cheated?"
Tucker glared at his brother. "I' m his son too."
"Based on Tawny's idea, you can't be. Sorry, dummy."
Returning, Kirk sighed. "I never gave your mom a reason to cheat."
Tawny grinned. "Men are funny." We all watched her for a minute then
she sighed. "I'm on new meds and they're making me sleepy. Maybe a
little moody."
"Maybe?" I asked and she flipped me off.
Kirk set the phone on the table. "I'll do the talking and we don't give
details to anyone outside the room. I trust my guys not to snitch, but
they're fucking scared and that makes them dumber. Things have been
too quiet and easy for too long and they've gotten whipped."
As Tawny dozed against Judd, I locked the door and Kirk dialed. Soon
enough, a deep voice asked, "What's up, Kirk?"
"One of my boys got some shit on a fancy shirt and we need a cleaner."
"How big a stain we talking about?"
"Big, but it's a delicate shirt. Needs a soft touch. The guys I know
would destroy the material. The stain is a pain, but we don't want to
ruin the fucking shirt, you know?"
"Yeah, I get that. I know a few guys, but I'd think if your stain is as bad
as I think, you'll want the services of someone like Saint."
Kirk frowned. "When I talked to J.J. in Houston the other day, he said
Saint was retired."
"Saint retires every year then goes on vacation and unretires. He was in
South America, but I heard he's back in Austin at one of those music
festivals."
Kirk looked at Cooper who nodded.
"Well, have Saint call Cooper. My boy's running shit and I don't want
to have to unretire myself."
The voice on the phone told Kirk to have a nice day and it was over.
Trying to disappear during the exchange, I felt awkward to be the

reason the Reapers had to call in an assassin like Saint. Somewhere
along the line, I'd become a bystander in my own fate.
"I'll talk to the guys," Kirk told Cooper. "You make sure to keep your
phone close."
"Thanks, Pop."
Kirk just grinned, proud dad helping his son hire a killer. Normal shit
around the Johansson homestead apparently.
After Kirk went outside, Cooper exhaled like he had been holding his
breath the whole time. Tawny had woken up and was now stretching.
"Coop, don't be stupid like this again," she said, patting his strong
shoulders to the irritation of Judd. "You can handle the job. Even if you
fuck up or trouble blows back on you, your club will watch your back.
You're not alone in this."
"I feel like some of this is coming from your sister," Cooper said,
standing up and patting her head.
Judd finally stood between the two. "Unless you want me touching
your woman, hands off mine."
"I love when you get all caveman," Cooper teased. "Thanks for the pep
talk, Tawny. Next time, try not to shred my balls in the process."
"No. If you want sweet talking, go cuddle with Farah."
Judd took her hand and started for the door then paused. "She's right
about people having your back, Cooper. Those guys outside want shit
to be the same forever, but life ain't like that. They'll follow or we'll
make them follow. Either way, you've got the club at your back."
Cooper nodded then glanced at Tucker who was messing with his
phone. As Judd and Tawny disappeared out the door, I joined Cooper.
"I know what this'll cost you," I said as Tucker laughed at something on
his phone. "I'm behind you whatever you decide. You're my president
and this is my club."
"If shit goes wrong, you watch out for my woman, okay? My family is
yours and you make sure they're safe."
"Always," I said, shaking his hand. "I'll die to keep them safe."
"Good deal," Cooper said, suddenly looking like a twenty two year old
guy.
Walking outside, we noticed Kirk joking around with the older

guys. He had a way of making his people behave. The guy knew when
to use a hard stance and when to go soft. Cooper would figure it out too,
but he was still a kid in too many ways. No matter his age, he just
ordered the assassination of members of a rival motorcycle club.

Chapter Twenty Three - Raven
Showered and dressed, I sat on the little walkway outside the garage
apartment. No more than thirty minutes had passed since Vaughn took
off and I didn't know how long it would be before I heard from him.
When I got restless, I wanted to smoke. Right then, every nerve was on
edge. I wanted to smoke and cry and chase after Vaughn. It was pretty
pathetic.
Instead, I held my Fair Bear while flicking at my lighter. I also did what
Vaughn told me to do when ugly thoughts overwhelmed me. I
daydreamed about our evening. I thought of bowling with him and how
he always smirked when he got a strike. No matter how many times he
got the strike, he always looked as if he had defeated a great foe. I loved
that little grin.
Soon, I was smiling to myself and the lighter sat unused on my lap.
Vaughn would be fine. He was coming back to me. I'd found a good
man inside a bad boy outlaw. Maybe one day, he wouldn't be living on
the edge any longer. He could truly be a part of Ellsberg, the Reapers,
and our family.
By the time Bailey came running from the house, I was chilling in the
hot summer sun. She raced up the stairs then plunked down next to me.
"You almost died," she said, yanking me against her. "Someone tried to
kill you."
"It's okay, Bailey. Vaughn handled it."
"Were you scared?" she said, getting comfy next to me.
"Of course. The bastard shot up Vaughn's cabin."
"Are you with Vaughn or will you dump him to have a safe life?"
Frowning, I studied her. "Was that a real question?"
"No. I'm just uneasy because the club is having a meeting and I'm not
invited."
"I' m sorry."
"Maybe it's for the best. I might not want to be part of the ugly stuff. In
fact, I think I want a nice man to love me and not some scary

fuck like Vaughn. No offense. He's a super hot scary fuck, but he's still
living a dark life and I don't think I want that. I mean, I have to worry
about my brothers and Pop. I don't think I want to worry about my man
coming home."
Remaining silent, I was nervous again. Bailey studied me then sighed.
"I said the wrong thing, didn't I?"
"You said the truth. That's not wrong and I'm not a child who needs
lies."
"Okay. This being nice thing is hard. Lying is wrong then it's right. I' m
afraid to say anything and would totally stop talking, but I like talking.
Besides, when I tried to stop talking, I forgot and talked anyway. Do
you think I should try to be preppy?"
"No, and stop trying to be someone else. I don't know who you were
before I met you, but I think you're awesome. Anyway, if you need to
ask someone if you should do something then you probably shouldn't
do it. Follow your gut and you'll be you."
"Can I still get my fake boobs even though I asked if I could?"
"You can get any damn thing you want. You're an adult and you should
decide for yourself. I'll respect whatever you decide because I respect
you. Nuff said."
Bailey grinned and leaned her head against my shoulder. "I'm glad
you're my friend. You're kind of fucked up, but you seem happy. Well,
right now you seem nervous, but you seemed happy with Vaughn. You
love him a lot and I know he loves you a lot. I saw how he was easily
bored with chicks and he doesn't get bored with you at all. For a guy
like Vaughn, that' s love."
"You'll find someone too and he'll love the Bailey I love. He'll love the
real you and you won't have to fake shit with him. I know it'll happen,
but you need to be patient."
"I will be. Not because you told me to, but because it was my decision.
I'm all about making my own decisions. It's my new thing."
Hugging my bear, I sighed. "I hope Vaughn is okay."
"Pop won't kill Vaughn. It'd make him look dumb after all he did to
protect Vaughn. My pop is hella smart. Coop is too. Tucker isn't, but

he' s loyal. Vaughn will be okay."
"I'm glad you came to check on me. I've had so few great things in my
life and I' m afraid to lose Vaughn."
"Like you lost your little brother?" When I nodded, Bailey sighed. "I'm
trying to be nicer to Sawyer even though she's evil. I just know it'd
break my heart if something happen to her."
"You can train her to be less evil. Or teach her to use her evil for good,"
I said, thinking while Sawyer was a brat, she was far from evil.
"I will. I'll be a good example for her and teach her not to shoot
squirrels. I don't like when people shoot the little animals. It seems
mean."
"What animals are okay to shoot?"
"Big ones unless you're poor and need to kill the little ones for food.
Just shooting them for fun seems mean. Like they don't have enough
trouble getting across the road without getting splattered."
"You could become a tiny animal advocate. Stop the slaughter of
squirrels."
Bailey laughed. "Start a protest group. Those whiny groups are super
popular at school. I'll start one for squirrels."
"You know, that's not such a bad idea. You need more experience
running things, so you can build up your confidence. If you really plan
to manage the family's legit businesses, you need to learn to be in
charge. The Save the Squirrels campaign could be a good start."
Bailey's expression shifted into something wiser than usual. None of
the frowning diva or frowning lost child. She looked like someone with
a plan. I guess that's what she really needed.
For years, I'd wandered around with no idea what I wanted, let alone
needed. Months ago, I swore off men. Now, I loved Vaughn in a way I
never felt possible. Finding a path was liberating.
Bailey returned to the house to get ready for a night out with Jodi and
Sawyer. I sat on the walkway with my bear and waited for Vaughn. Not
long after Bailey left, I got a short text saying he would be over in an
hour and I should pack an overnight bag. Just that. No dire warnings.
No cryptic messages. Just a guy planning to pick up his girl for a night
out, followed by a weekend of fun.

Hugging my bear, I ran inside to find something to wear. Filled with
relief, I wanted to dress up for Vaughn. My only dress was a red
flowered summer dress with spaghetti straps. I didn't own heels, so I
slipped on sandals then made up my face. Once looking as pretty as
possible with a peeling nose, I packed up for the weekend including my
bear then waited outside for Vaughn.
The sound of his Harley set my skin on fire and I hurried down the
steps to meet him. Until I saw him... no felt him against me, I wouldn't
truly feel at peace.
Vaughn looked like heaven, wearing black jeans, tee, and boots. His
hair was loose and damp. He gave me a hell of a smile when he saw my
dress.
"How the hell did you get more beautiful while I was gone?" he asked,
climbing off the black Harley. "It's just the dress." "Ladybug, it's
everything."
Melting into his arms, I soaked in the heat of his body. Vaughn kissed
my head while playing with my ponytail.
"I'd look better if my back wasn't flaking and peeling."
Vaughn ran his warm fingers over my skin then sighed. "Even your
burned skin is sexy."
Instead of teasing him about his hippy hair, I pulled Vaughn down for a
kiss. I'd been missing his lips on mine for hours. Now, he was safe in
my arms and I only wanted him.
"We could stay here," I murmured, needing him inside me.
"Sex kitten, you need to learn restraint," he teased, taking my hand. "I
want to celebrate. A great meal and a game of bowling followed by a
ride home in the warm evening. Once we get to my place, I will get you
naked and keep you naked until you forget how to dress yourself."
Laughing as he climbed on the Harley, I shook my head. "You and
those threats."
"Hey, sugarcane, how you gonna bowl in those sandals?" "Socks in my
overnight bag."
Vaughn glanced back at me then shivered. "I find your organizational
skills so hot."

"Unless you want to fuck right now, we need to go because you 're
getting me moist."
Vaughn glanced up at the apartment then back at me. Clearly
contemplating a quickie, he probably realized we'd never leave once
we got started. He was right, of course. Instead of giving into our urges,
we drove to the Texas Roadhouse for steaks and ribs.
Another girl might play dainty with a hot guy. If she knew Vaughn
though, she'd realized he liked pigging out and didn't like doing it
alone. We made a great team when it came to demolishing plates of
meat.
"All this meat is making me go caveman," Vaughn said, licking his
fingers and arousing me. "You know you love it."
Laughing, I nodded. "Let's go to your place and I'll lick you clean."
Vaughn was tempted again. The big head eventually won over his very
needy little head. I suspected if Vaughn knew I called his cock little
that he'd have something to say about it. Fortunately, he wasn't a mind
reader.
Despite his decision to put off sex, bowling was clearly foreplay. He
kept training me which involved sliding up behind me and feeling up
different parts of my body. My tits got a little attention followed by my
butt. My legs were his favorites and I realized how much he liked the
dress. In fact, I caused him to mess up his turn by swinging my hips so
the dress swayed just right. He lost his focus on the ball, rolled it
wrong, and right into the gutter.
"Cheater," he growled.
"Next time, I'll flash a little tit."
"Big fucking cheater," he said, kissing my forehead.
"I want to win."
"I want it more."
"To win or do you want something else?" I asked, licking my lips.
"Dammit, woman! I' m trying to bowl here!"
Laughing, I bent forward and gave him some booby action. Vaughn
responded by chasing me around the bowling alley until a few drunk
guys whistled. Suddenly, he was angry caveman ready to club
strangers for entering his territory. Watching him switch from funny
guy

to dominate male in a matter of seconds, I needed to get him naked very
soon.
My wish was granted after a few more games of bowling. Feeling him
up the whole drive to his place, I had plans for him. Yet, I might have
underestimated Vaughn's arousal. When we got to the garage, he threw
me over his shoulder and walked to the elevator. "Me need pussy," he
said, pushing the button. "What if your neighbors see me?" "No care.
Me need pussy."
Laughing, I hung from him as he carried me and my bag into the
apartment and tossed me on the bed. I stood up and reached for him.
Vaughn' s lips moved to my shoulder where he yanked the dress strap
out of the way to suck at my flesh.
"Be careful with my dress. It's my only one." "Buy new one. Me
horny."
Even giggling, I grabbed his face and forced him to look at me. "If you
go caveman and tear up my dress, I'll go cavewoman and kick your ass.
Understand."
Vaughn gave me a sweet grin. "I'm going to fuck you until you can't
stand."
"You keep threatening that and I keep standing up afterwards.
Someone's full of shit."
Stepping back, Vaughn gave me a grin. "Take off your precious dress
and I'll keep my caveman hands to myself."
I twirled for him then slid the remaining strap from my shoulder.
Reaching back, I unzipped the dress then swayed as it slid past my tits
and hips and pooled on the floor. My pink panties joined the dress then
I turned before bending over to pick them up. I heard Vaughn inhale at
the sight of my pussy smiling at him.
Once the dress was folded nicely on a chair, I ran for the bed and landed
on my hands and knees. Wiggling my ass for him, I glanced back and
grinned.
"Me horny. Need cock."
Vaughn nearly broke the bed by jumping on it. I was still laughing at
him when he ran his tongue along my already wet pussy. He shut me

up instantly.
"Woman taste like honey."
"Too verbal for a caveman," I moaned as he thrust into me. "Otherwise,
no complaints."
Vaughn grunted his response then let loose with the need he kept in
check for hours. Holding me by the hips, he thrust deeper and harder. I
braced myself to keep from toppling forward from his intensity.
"Perfect," he groaned when he finally let go.
When he lost control and just fucked me hard, I could do no more than
enjoy the ride. Out of breath, Vaughn leaned forward and nuzzled my
hair.
"I remember how to work pronouns again, lollipop."
Giggling, I wiggled away from him and rested on the bed. He quickly
joined me and gave my peeling nose a kiss.
"When we met," he said, running his fingers over my arm to my hip, "I
thought I was on borrowed time. Since Cooper decided to call in Saint
to deal with the Devils, I suddenly have my whole life before me."
"Are you sure this guy can handle the Devils? I mean, what happens if
he gets a few of them, but one of them kills him? Will there be
payback?"
Vaughn smiled as if I was adorable. Stupid, but adorable.
"Honeysuckle, a guy like Saint doesn't get paid so much so he can die
on the job."
"It's not like he would choose to die, honey jackass."
"What I mean is guys like Saint aren't cleaners like me. A lot of people
call guys like him ghosts. He can arrive in a town, take care of a few
targets, and leave without anyone even knowing he was there. He
leaves nothing. No one knows what he looks like. Maybe he uses
disguises or is just that damn good. Since I heard Saint has cleaned
cartels, he'll have no trouble taking out a few guys in a small
motorcycle
club."
Caressing the wolf on his chest, I needed a little more reassurance.
"Bailey said the Devils would be in disarray if they lost their leaders."
"Here in Ellsberg, Kirk has backing from Memphis. If he were to die
along with Cooper and Tucker, it's not like Memphis would allow

the club to fall apart and their assets to be lost. In Tucson though, the
Devils are on their own. The Mexican gangs would make quick work of
a weak club. Cutting off the head of the Devils will leave them to the
mercy of stronger groups."
"So you'll be free," I said, smiling at the thought of Vaughn as no
longer a dead man walking.
"My life isn't about days, weeks, or months. Suddenly, I have years to
work with. A long fucking lifetime stands before me. Besides loving
you, I don't even know where to start."
Sitting up, I studied Vaughn who looked like a god relaxed against the
dark sheets.
"Is it possible," I began quietly, "that you just want me because I'm the
one who was there when these things happened to you? Like with your
mom. I was there and you've made more out of your feelings than is
real."
Vaughn just smiled. "Insecurity doesn't work on you, pop tart."
"If you dump me, I don't come back from that. If you're having doubts,
you should warn me now."
"How do I know you weren't dating me only because you figured I'd be
dead soon and you didn't have to worry about us breaking up?"
"You're an idiot."
"So are you. Man, our kids will be beautiful, but stupid."
I leaned forward and licked his stomach. "Being dumb is easier when
you' re beautiful though."
"Don't I know it," he said then sighed. "I approve of where you're going
with your tongue, dumpling. Just stop for a second while I do
something."
I watched him roll off the bed and disappear out of the bedroom. He
returned with two beers and hit a button on his stereo. The Doors
serenaded us while I sipped my beer before returning my attention to
his hard stomach.
Vaughn rested his hands behind his head and watched me nibble and
lick at his body. He was so quiet like a predator in wait. Or a cocky
bastard used to being served by the ladies.
Stopping mid-lick, I narrowed my eyes. "I have concerns about

committing to a product I haven't tested thoroughly," I said, crawling
farther down on the bed. "I need to make sure you're not defective."
Vaughn's smile was lazy and full of male arrogance. "You don't think
you've given me enough of a test drive yet?"
Scratching him lightly on the thighs, I watched his cock respond.
Already thick, it swelled and hardened.
"Did you miss me?" I asked and I swear his dick twitched in response.
"I'll take that as a yes."
Vaughn grinned until I sucked him into my mouth. Exhaling, he lost
the arrogant expression and relaxed all over. I'd always loved giving
blowjobs. There was power in them. I could make a strong man lose the
ability to speak, even breathe. I could also hurt a guy if he pissed me
off.
With Vaughn though, I only cared about making him feel as good as he
made me feel. No man ever fucked me as well. It wasn't Vaughn's size
or talents. He was a great lover because he wanted me to feel good.
Never did he take without giving. No man ever worked so hard to make
me cry out his name or ensure I fell asleep exhausted with a smile on
my face.
"I want to look at you while you do that," Vaughn murmured. "Turn
around so I can see you."
For a moment, I didn't know what the hell he was talking about then I
understood. Straddling his stomach, I returned to making his toes curl.
"You have the prettiest pussy," he cooed as if sweet talking a girl in a
bar. "Lightest public hair."
Stroking me gently, Vaughn wanted to play and make me feel good. I
appreciated his efforts, but his cock was too large to enjoy when I had
any distractions.
I lifted my hips then started at him between our bodies. "I'm trying to
work here," I said, giving him a grin. "Hands off, buddy."
"Looky, no touchy. I get it."
Smiling, I rolled my tongue around the head of his cock and his toes
curled in the most delicious way. Stroking him with my hand while
loving him with my lips and tongue, I finally caused Vaughn to make
the lovely moan of a man at the brink of pleasure. I loved that sound.

As soon as he filled my mouth and softened in my touch, Vaughn
insisted he get a taste of my pretty pussy. I wish I could say I held out
for a nice long tongue bath. Instead, I was so aroused from sucking him
that I needed very little to lose control. Holding onto his waist, I bucked
and moaned and thanked the universe for bringing this very talented
sexy badass.

Chapter Twenty Four - Vaughn
Since I was twelve and stopped thinking girls had cooties, I'd been with
many hot chicks. Back in Tucson, I even had a few girlfriends, but I
could never commit. One chick claimed I had mommy issues. She said
I put my mom on a pedestal and no woman could live up to the fantasy
I created. For years, I figured that chick was right. Until I met Raven
and I realized why no woman would satisfy me.
Everything was perfect when it was Raven. Her bad moods entertained.
Her good moods enchanted. Her tears broke my heart. When I made
her laugh, I was a god. When I thought I lost her, life was a bitter pill to
be choked on.
The last few days, Raven was peaceful in a way I hadn't seen before.
None of the restless warrior bitch she showed the world. The wariness
in her eyes disappeared when I showed up after the meeting. Her mind
no longer lingered on the past and its disappointments. Raven hungered
for the future. Our future.
Walking in the woods near the cabin, we were shaded by the giant
trees. Around us, the katydids hummed and a hawk flew in the distance.
It was a perfect sunny summer day as if God decided to give me a break
for once.
Dylan and his crew fixed up the cabin, replacing the windows and
hiding the bullet holes. Now, the place looked as good as new. Raven
beamed at me when I said her stepbrother got the job. When she looked
at me that way, I felt invincible. The Devils, my dangerous job, and the
crap from the past meant nothing when my woman smiled as if I could
do no wrong.
Reaching the river, Raven leaned over to look in the water. She was
young and delicious in a light green halter-top and shorts. Even with all
the flesh teasing me, my mind was on less sexual matters.
"Raven," I said softly.
When she turned to find me on one knee, those faded blue eyes
widened while her breathing sped up.
"I know I'm not perfect, but I think I'm as close as a man can get,"

I said, making her laugh nervously. "I also know I have a rep as a guy
who' s screwed every chick that walked by, but those days are over.
They've been over since I met you that night. Even as friends with
benefits, I wanted all of you. You're my hope and my love and I'm
keeping you. Now, I' m looking to make it official."
Raven bit her bottom lip while her eyes grew wet and afraid. I knew she
feared getting her hopes up. Life crapped on her plenty and she still
worried it would again.
I pulled the ring from my pocket and Raven exhaled softly like she was
still waiting for the catch. None was coming.
"Will you be my wife? No matter what happens with the Devils or
anything else, I want you now and forever. Will you give me that
chance?"
Raven said nothing for a minute, just staring at me. I felt a hint of fear
that she might say no or she wasn't sure. Then, she lunged for me and I
caught her in my arms.
"Yes," she whispered, sounding too young and unbelievably scared. "I
love you and I'll love you no matter what."
Kissing her, I stole her breath and all the fear inside her. I wasn't going
anywhere and she wasn't losing me. My kiss made this very clear and
she softened in my arms. When I pulled my lips away and stared into
her eyes, she smiled.
"I'll take care of you, Vaughn. I'll treat you good. I promise."
"I know, cupcake. I'm not the other guys. I won't disappoint you."
"You're like no one ever, Vaughn. You're a dream and I'm afraid to
wake up."
I gave her a grin. "I am pretty fucking amazing, aren't I?" Finally,
Raven's wide eyes narrowed and she frowned. "You're so vain. You
probably think every song is about you." "Prove they're not."
Raven laughed and kissed me softly. After she fixed my hair that she'd
mussed during the kiss, I took her hand and slid the ring over her finger
that was still bruised around the knuckle.
"If you piss me off, I won't leave you," Raven said, caressing my
cheeks. "I'll just train you to be less annoying."

"Oh, will you?"
"I'll do whatever I have to do to make a life with you. I know who you
are and I won't expect you to be someone else. But yeah, I'll train your
ass when necessary."
"Now, that's wife material right there."
"The ring is beautiful," she said, staring at it with bright eyes. "Did you
choose it?"
"Why?"
"Larry had his secretary choose my mom's ring. He said guys can't pick
things like that."
"I don't have a secretary."
"No, but you know girls who could help."
"Did all the heavy lifting myself."
"That's so sexy," she said, wrapping her arms around my neck. "You
are so multifaceted. Mmm.. .I need you inside me."
As Raven sucked at my neck, I lost the ability to think of anything
except her naked under me. We hurried back to the cabin where she
stripped down, flopped on the bed, and stared at the ring.
"I' m going to be the wife of a good man. I never thought that was
possible."
Kicking off my boxers, I frowned. Raven noticed my hesitation then
rolled her eyes before turning over and wiggling her butt at me.
"Fine, you'll be a good husband. Feel better, drama llama?"
Shuddering, I thought of how many times I'd tormented Judd with that
insult.
"Don't forget what I am."
"The sexiest fucker in creation. A man who makes sure I'm happy
because my feelings matter to him. I've never been with a man who did
that. Not after they got in my pants anyway."
Smiling, I stroked my fingers along her pussy. "You poor thing. Only a
good hard fuck will help you forget those shitty men from your past."
"Might need two or three hard fucks actually," she said, throwing her
head back and laughing like a giddy child. "I want to be mush when
you're done with me." Raven glanced at me over her shoulder and gave

me the most intense expression. "Own me, Vaughn."
"Hell," I muttered, caressing her with my cock, "you're mine. If you
leave, I'll chase you. If you run, I'll chase faster. If you let me catch you,
I' ll make you my slave."
"I' m not leaving you," she said in a soft voice.
"No," I murmured, caressing her hair. "No, you're not. This is forever."
Raven turned around and tugged me onto the bed. "I love you and I will
forever."
What began as a one night stand had turned into forever and I couldn't
wait to get started. Our life was bigger than just the two of us though.
So while I wasn't a party type of guy, Raven deserved to celebrate our
engagement with friends.
Lark promised to make the get-together special and swore she and the
girls could keep everything a secret. I put the planning in her hands
except for one request. When I told Lark, she fell silent on the phone
then burst into laughter. A part of me worried she wouldn't go through
with what I asked, but I didn't want to nag. Not when she laughed every
time I mentioned it.
Arriving at the bowling alley, I was relieved the girls didn't go fancy.
Engagement parties for rich fucks were at seafood restaurants or
steakhouses. Maybe that was the right way, but I wanted to have fun,
not show off. Well, besides showing off my hot fiancee and the ring she
kept staring at in wonder.
The crew rented out the alley for a private party, so the parking lot was
full of our friends' cars and Harleys when we arrived. I walked inside
with my arm around Raven's shoulder and her snuggly against me. Our
friends yelled surprise even though we knew they were there. Raven
still faked like she was shocked, staggering and screaming. A laughing
Lark immediately ran over and checked out the ring.
"I called this," she said, glancing back at the others. "We all called
it."
Tawny nodded. "We wanted to bet money on you two hooking up, but
no one was willing to put money against it."
Kirk sat nearby with Jodi on his lap. "I would have bet it'd take

you two less time. You dipshits took forever."
Even wanting to put on a little bravado, I was fucking happy. Raven
was everything I never knew I wanted. If I'd dreamed up my perfect
girl, she wouldn't be as amazing as what I found with her. Raven smiled
at me like she knew we were blessed to have fumbled our way into each
other's lives.
"Your man," Lark said, wrapping an arm around Raven's waist and
pulling her away from me, "was very specific on the cake's inscription.
I want credit for following instructions, even though the baker laughed
at me. No doubt, they'll be laughing at me for a long time."
Raven walked with Lark to where the chocolate cake was set out next
to Bailey who appeared to be guarding it. My friends were all laughing
at me as I followed. As long as Raven liked it and got the joke, I was
fine with the mocking.
The cake read, "Congrats on your engagement, Crouching Cock,
Hidden Pussy!"
Raven not only got the joke, but she nearly pissed herself laughing and
high-fiving everyone. Finally, she jumped into my arms.
"You finally found just the right nickname," she murmured in my ear.
"You're the only man for me."
Pressing my forehead against hers, I smiled. "And you're the only
hidden pussy for me."
Raven' s grin faded and the look in her eyes turned predatory. "It won't
be hidden once we get back to your place."
Shivering, I wanted a quickie right then. My jeans could barely contain
how badly I needed to be inside Raven, but we had friends waiting to
celebrate.
"Later," I whispered then sucked at her lower lip.
Soon, we were bowling and playing games. The adjoining game room
was all ours and I beat Judd badly at pinball. A better man wouldn't
have rubbed this fact in his friend's face, but I hadn't matured past
twelve apparently.
Nearby, Raven and the girls talked wedding plans. When Jodi offered
the property if we wanted something outdoors, Raven glanced at me
with hope in her eyes.

"Anything you want, I'm game."
"Really?" she asked, nearly breathless. "It's always been my dream to
have a Tinker Bell and Peter Pan themed wedding. How do you feel
about wearing green tights?"
Before she finished, I knew I was in for some serious ragging from the
guys. Judd was already rubbing his hands together and Cooper smirked
at Aaron. I was doomed to suffer, but in the best possible way.
A loner wouldn't have friends so ready to hassle him for years on end.
No outlaw could imagine a long life with a badass babe like Raven.
Yeah, doomed never looked better.

Chapter Twenty Five - Raven
Farah Smith was an easy chick to understand. She was hot for her
husband. She wanted to be a teacher. She loved her little sister and
hated talking about her past. Easy peasy. Tawny was something else.
Since I'd met her, Tawny was several different people. Sulky one day,
grumpy the next, then relaxed and smiling often. I realized it might be
years before I knew the real Tawny. Despite her moods, she gave me
great advice about Vaughn. She was also hella funny in the right mood
like during dinner with Judd and Vaughn.
Tawny opened the door to her new condo and gave me a smile I'd never
seen on her. None of the worries from before were on her beautiful face
as she waved us inside. Inside the brand new and sparsely decorated
luxury condo, I noticed Judd at the windows, looking out at the dark
evening. He gave us a smile and looked less grumpy enforcer than
happy husband.
"We finally moved in a few days ago. This is baby Opal," Tawny said,
picking up a young gray and white cat. "Pearl is perched near the
window. She's pretty psyched about the move."
"Your place is banging, man," Vaughn told Judd who nodded in his
manly equivalent of duh. "I hear the unit across the hall is available.
Raven and I should get it, so we can double date every day. Show up at
all hours of the night. Borrow all your sugar. Really be neighbors."
"No," Judd said quickly.
"I don't know, man," Vaughn continued. "This place is swanky and I'
ve got a woman to spoil. I should ask the sales dude downstairs about
buying it."
"No," Judd said with more force. "Find your own damn place."
"I have," Vaughn teased. "It's right next door. It's going to be fucking
awesome."
Tawny set down the cat and cuddled with Judd instead. "Let them join
us. Better than having strangers as our neighbors. I've been praying it
wouldn't be some lame trendy types who play Jenga on the weekends
with their dork friends."

Judd smiled at his woman. "Vaughn plays Jenga. Candyland too."
"Lame," she cooed.
"Should I be defending you?" I asked Vaughn who frowned at Judd and
Tawny until they unglued their gazes.
"No way, sugar. Candyland is awesome. You ever play it drunk? The
game's pretty hard actually."
As I grinned at Vaughn and pressed my body against his, we were
already imagining picking up beers on the way home along and
enjoying a wasted game of Candyland.
"My candy girl loves playing games," Vaughn murmured, kissing my
nose.
"And my pixy stix loves being inside me."
"We're not making it to dinner at this rate," Judd said, rubbing the back
of his neck while Tawny detached herself from him.
"Let me show you around," she said, taking my hand. "Then, we'll go
eat."
While Vaughn and Judd stood at the large windows and played who
could be silent longer, I followed Tawny around the condo. The place
was pretty empty, but I didn't mention furniture shopping. She seemed
too happy to finally be in their new place. I hadn't seen Tawny this
happy since her wedding in Vegas and I refused to do anything to ruin
it.
When we walked into the larger spare room, Tawny looked around the
empty space.
"This room might be a nursery one day," she said, sounding
immediately uneasy.
"You'll want a baby. I can see that you have the urge. You just want to
do it on your terms and schedule. No reason to let anyone push you
around. Your man and you are on the same page. That's all that matters.
Everyone else is static."
"I know. It's just that people think I should do certain things."
"What people?"
Tawny shrugged and stared out the window. "People." "Like Farah?" I
asked, pushing her because I sensed she wanted advice, but was afraid
of what I might offer.

"No," Tawny said quickly. "Never Farah." "Cooper's family? Judd's
mom?"
"I know Zaria would like a grandchild, but she doesn't pressure us. She
knows we're not ready."
"Then, who?"
Tawny ran her fingers through her hair and tugged at it hard. I
wondered if I should to stop pushing. Anyone else would have backed
off. I wanted Tawny to be happy and hiding from her feelings was
making her miserable.
"Who?" I asked again.
"I have a grandmother who conned some old rich guy and ended up
having money. We've always kissed her ass because of that money.
She's a bitch though. Always nitpicking us and getting my name wrong
on purpose."
"And she wants you to have a kid?"
"Farah is married and has a baby on the way. It's like she's doing all this
great stuff. College too. I'm not doing those great things. I'm just trying
to get my high school diploma online. I feel like I'm failing and she's
judging me."
"Do you see her a lot?"
"No."
"Why do you care then?"
"She's judgmental and I don't want her thinking my life isn't as good as
Farah's."
Glancing around the empty room, I finally smiled. "So she's not
hounding you, but you think she's thinking it."
"I know she is."
"This grandmother conned an old guy?"
"She was a grifter. It's how she got his money and now she lives off the
interest from what she conned from him."
"So she's greedy, right? Like money is what matters to her."
Looking on the edge of losing control, Tawny nodded. I reached out
and took her hand before continuing.
"A woman like that would think this place was awesome. Like Vaughn
said, it's swanky. Everything is new and modern. People are

always talking up that granite and hardwood floors on those TV house
shows. This place wasn't cheap, right?" Tawny shook her head.
"Don't you think that rich bitch would dig a place like this? Anyone
else in your family got money?" "Just Farah."
"So you have this swanky place and don't have to work like a slave for
it. You just have to love a really hot guy." When Tawny's gaze
narrowed, I grinned. "I'm not going to mess with your man. I've got a
hot one of my own."
"I'm territorial."
"Because he's worth keeping. You're thinking about your life in this
negative way and assuming she's shitting on you. A woman like that
doesn't care about kids. She doesn't care about inner happiness. She's
about the bling. You have a hot man with an ugly job that pays well.
You have respect because of Judd and your job with Cooper. You have
what a woman like her cares about and that's money and power."
I saw her considering my words. For whatever reason, she had allowed
a nasty bitch get into her head.
"She's not judging you, Tawny. She's probably sitting around thinking
shit about the rest of your family. Thinking how you and Farah turned
out well and deciding she's the one who gets the credit. She's thinking
why can't your loser relatives be like you? I know uppity fucks like
your grandma and she's not stressing you being childless. Hell, she's
probably thinking Farah got knocked up so fast to keep Cooper.
Bitches like her always think the same crap because they don't feel
anything real. Love is a con for them. What you have with Judd isn't
something she can understand. This condo and your big wedding ring
are things she understands."
Tawny pulled at her fingers. "You think I' m stupid to worry about
her."
"No. I think you got that bitch's voice in your head and can't get it out. I
have the same problem with my shithead dad. I know he's an idiot. I
know it, but I hear him sometimes telling me that I'm a loser or a jinx. I
hear my mom too. It's work to keep them quiet."

"Therapy makes it worse. I mean, I know it'll help in the long run, but
right now, it's hard. I talk about things in the doctor's office and I feel
safe. Once I leave, I don't feel safe. The words I said to the shrink
follow me. The memories too."
Tawny glanced at the door then back at me. "I wish Judd was still
coming with me to the sessions."
"Why isn't he?"
Shrugging, Tawny stared at her hands. "I was doing better, so I said he
didn't have to come. If I ask him to take me again, he'll think I'm getting
worse."
"Or he'll be happy to help his woman. I've seen the way he looks at you
and you're his heart. He knows you're hurting and probably doesn't
know what to do for you. If you ask for help, I bet he'll be relieved."
"You should be a shrink," Tawny said, giving me a smile.
"Hell no. I' m too bossy. I would give someone advice, they wouldn't
listen, and I'd freak out on them. Why keep coming to me with the same
problems? I already gave you the solution."
Smiling wider now, Tawny took a deep breath. "I wanted permission to
ask him. I hinted with Farah, but she didn't get it. Like she thought I
wanted her to tell me I was doing well, but I'm not. Farah doesn't like
thinking about the past and she avoids dealing with it. When I look
miserable, she wants to give me a pep talk and say everything is okay.
That works for her, but I'm dealing with the past and pep talks aren't
enough. She's not ready to deal with it. That's another thing. If I tell her
therapy makes it worse, she won't go and she needs to go. She needs to
try at least."
"Well, I give you permission to ask Judd for help. He wants you to be
happy and feels helpless when you're not. You'll be doing him a favor
by asking."
Tawny laughed. "Who am I to say no to such perfect advice?"
"I wouldn't suggest you do. I'm really bitching about people ignoring
my awesome ideas."
Taking my hand, she walked out of the room where we found Vaughn
and Judd playing pool in the dining room. The guys were deep

in silent competition, so we admired their hot bodies quietly. Our
giggling finally drew their attention.
"Where are we eating?" Vaughn asked, hitting a ball.
"We should eat somewhere that preggos can't enjoy," I suggested and
Tawny grinned. "I think they can't eat deli meat, but I don't want that
crap."
Tawny searched info on her phone then smiled. "Sushi is supposed
to be iffy."
"Barf," Vaughn said and Judd grimaced.
"We should go to a fish place and share a little sushi to celebrate our
powerful birth control."
Judd smiled at this comment. "Poor Aaron." "Screw Aaron," I grunted.
"Lark's the one carrying two babies." Vaughn and Judd looked at each
other then burst out laughing. "What's so funny?"
"He hooks up with a chick whose birth control is defective and ends up
with twins," Vaughn said, walking to me. "Dumb fuck probably didn' t
know what hit him."
"He gets to spend his life with an amazing person. Fuck you for
laughing at his good luck."
"Don't go big sis on me, daffodil. One day, I'm knocking you up with
twins too. No harm in making double the hot kids."
"I'm still mad."
"Wanna make a baby right now?" he whispered in my ear. "Sushi first."
"Barf." "We'll see."
Thirty minutes later, Vaughn proved me wrong. He hated sushi and
nearly threw up after trying a bite. Watching him freak-out nearly
killed me. I laughed so hard I couldn't breathe. Tawny was also in
hysterics. Like any good friend would, Judd took a picture of a gagging
Vaughn with his phone.
"Sent it to the crew. You're welcome."
"Jackass," Vaughn said, wiping his tongue with a napkin.
Calming my laughter, I stroked his ponytail. "Poor baby. I'll make

it up to you later."
Vaughn' s horrified expression immediately shifted into a smirk.
"Yeah, you will."
A fish dinner later, we ended up at a honky-tonk outside of Ellsberg
with a mechanical bull. Continuing our desire for non-preggo approved
activities, Tawny and I took turns riding between our whiskey shots.
Mostly, we fell then laughed our asses off.
The nearly empty honky-tonk had only a few regulars around and those
guys loved the show. At first, they did anyway. Judd and Vaughn
joined the hooting guys at the bar. When I glanced at them, I saw
nothing aggressive about their behavior. After turning away to watch
Tawny get bucked off, I glanced back and found the other guys leaving.
Suddenly, we had the place to ourselves.
"Meow," I teased Vaughn who flexed his muscles then kissed his
guns.
Judd stopped looking ready to kill someone and laughed at his friend.
They were comparing their guns when Tawny and I hurried over.
"Let's compare asses next," Tawny announced. "Turn around and shake
those fuckers!"
Without missing a beat, Judd told Tawny, "Don't look at Vaughn's
ass."
Sliding up next to him, she caressed his stubbled jaw. "His wouldn't
win. No ass is as perfect as yours."
Vaughn glanced at me. "They're going to have bathroom sex now. Let'
s order wings and wait them out."
Grinning, I took his hand and pulled him towards the empty dance
floor. Josh Turner sang overhead about love. It was the kind of mushy
tune that normally made me puke. Tonight, while dancing with an
unbearably handsome man who wanted to make a life with me, the
romantic song felt right.
"Are they really going to have sex in the bathroom?" I asked, realizing
Judd and Tawny were gone.
"No, they brought the SUV. I guess, they knew the night would be too
sexy to avoid a quickie."
"Why aren't we having a quickie?"

Vaughn gave me a sly grin. "Self control, cookie. We have it and they
don't."
"Because they're hotter for each other than we are?" I asked, swaying
my hips against his.
"Screw you. I'll whip my cock out and fuck you this second. I'm game
if you are."
Laughing at his serious expression, I wrapped him tighter in my arms.
"Let's save all the heat for your apartment."
"Our apartment, cheeky. We should talk about finding new digs.
Something big for when I've created a basketball team in your womb."
"Not all at once, right?"
"Lark's having a litter. Why not us too?"
Spinning around, I leaned back against him. "Where do you want
to live?"
"A house. There are some big ones in Cooper's neighborhood. If we
moved there, you and Farah could talk babies or vaginas or whatever
chicks talk about when they' re alone."
"Cocks and chocolate. That's the gist of our conversation choices."
"Nice," he murmured, running his hands up and down my hips. "Do
you want a house? Like suburbia crap? I'll give my woman whatever
she wants."
"Growing up, I always wanted to live in a pretty house and stay there
for a long time. I'd love for my kids to grow up in the same house with
the same friends. It doesn't even have to be a fancy house or that big.
Sharing rooms won't kill kids. It'll teach them patience and sharing. I
usually shared rooms with Lark. Sometimes with Phoenix too."
Saying my brother's name made me a little sad. Lark and I had found
such happiness, but Phoenix never even had a chance to grow up.
"I miss him," I said, resting against Vaughn. "Even after all these years,
I miss him. I know Lark does too. She cries more lately because of the
hormones. Anything that reminds her of Phoenix gets her going."
"That's what the blue butterfly is, right?" Vaughn said, grazing my bare
back with his warm fingers. "That's Phoenix and the pink one at
Tinker's shoulder is Lark." When I smiled, Vaughn kissed my
forehead.
"My sweet Tinker."

"I always liked her spunk and understood her obsessive jealous nature
when it came to boys. I have that sickness too."
"Will you get a tattoo in honor of me?" he asked with complete
seriousness. "Me on a Harley with my hair blowing in the wind. Just
throwing ideas out."
"Can you be Peter Pan on the Harley?"
Likely remembering all the teasing he got from the guys about green
tights, Vaughn's smile faded. "Forget it. Just stick my name across your
ass and call it a day."
Laughing, I climbed Vaughn who wrapped me in his arms. "I'm getting
a butterfly for every kid we have," I whispered in his ear as Vaughn
walked us out to the Harley and past Tawny and Judd's a-rocking SUV.
"I'll also do that ass tat like you suggested."
"Oh, yeah," Vaughn said, resting me on the Harley. "I'm getting a tattoo
on my ass dedicated to you. Tinker and Peter in a very explicit love
scene. Tasteful, but explicit."
The thought of that tattoo had me giggling on and off all night. Even
the next day when I met the girls at the salon, I found myself laughing
at the image of Tinker and Peter fucking on Vaughn's ass.
While I smiled to myself, Tawny fed Farah Pico de Gallo. Maddy
studied my shoulders and sighed.
"I burn then tan, but get all freckled. Not attractive, but my man loves
me anyway."
Grinning at her, I took one of the fashion magazines nearby and fanned
Lark who was sweating like she'd just run a marathon.
"Baby cooking is tricky shit, huh?" I teased her.
"Yeah, but I' m tired mostly because Aaron kept me up last night
playing Uno. It' s official though. I am the Uno champion of our
household. Beat his sexy ass something fierce."
"What did you win?"
When Lark gave me a naughty grin, I got the worst giggles. Jodi
watched us goofing off and rolled her eyes.
"I need to spend more time with women my age, but they're always
whining about how their men can't get it up and aren't sexy anymore. I
just can't relate."

We all laughed and settled in for our pedicures. "What's taking Bailey
so long?" Sawyer asked, sitting in the booth next to her mom.
"She's at Hampton, choosing her classes for next semester. She'll be
here soon."
After deciding I wanted pink nails with little stars, I thought about
Vaughn who was off doing whatever his job entailed when he wasn't
hanging with the guys. I was still daydreaming when Jodi's cell rang
followed by Tawny's. Farah's was next then Maddy's. Before I had a
chance to worry, Jodi bolted from her chair and locked the front doors.
I heard Maddy gasp while Tawny pulled out a gun.
"We're locking things down until someone comes," Jodi explained to
the freaked out manicurists.
"What's happening?" I asked Farah.
"Cooper wants us to go to his parents' house. Someone attacked Bailey
and the club is shutting the town down until they find the guy."
"What should I do?" Lark asked, looking so young that I immediately
hugged her.
"Everyone is going to my house where we'll be safe," Jodi said,
examining the quiet street outside. "You're family and the Johanssons
stick together against their enemies."
For the next ten minutes, Jodi and Tawny guarded the front while I
hugged Lark and caressed her head. Farah moved to a couch where she
played Internet games with Sawyer and Maddy.
Once a few guys from the club showed up, they escorted us to the
Johansson property. Only then, did we learn Bailey was already at the
house. Even wanting answers about who attacked her and whether
Vaughn was safe, we could only wait.

Chapter Twenty Six - Vaughn
Raven planned to spend the morning with the girls, so I looked for
houses in a few recently built neighborhoods. Big plans awaited us and
I wanted to start our new life as soon as possible. Unfortunately, my
enemies chose to derail my dreams again.
The call from Cooper was short and angry. Assholes attacked us in
Ellsberg. We needed to meet up at Whiskey Kirk's. The women were
safe. The last part of his message was what kept me from blowing off
his orders and looking for Raven.
Instead of checking on my woman, I arrived at a packed Whiskey
Kirk's. Inside, I found the guys armed up and restless.
"What the hell happened?" I asked Judd who was wearing his enforcer
face.
"Looks like the Devils are in town. I don't know the details because
Cooper's keeping shit close to the vest. He's talking with Tucker and
Kirk now."
Glancing around at the angry club guys, I knew something big went
down. The specifics didn't matter. Someone came into Reaper territory
to stir up shit.
"Is Tawny okay?" I asked in a barely veiled attempt to find out about
Raven.
"They moved all the girls to the Johansson house especially after what
happened to Bailey."
"Shit, man. Tell me what you know."
Judd glanced around. "Bailey was on her way to the salon to meet the
girls when some fucker ran her off the road. He tried to move on her
car, but she took a shot at him. He shot back. Then, that asshole deputy
with the stupid name showed up with his lights and sirens. The asshole
shooting at Bailey ran for it. I don't know who the guy was, but the
Devils tried to grab Kirk's kid. It goes without saying the streets will
bleed red soon."
Once the door to the backroom opened, Tucker gestured for me and
Judd along with Kirk's top guys. The rest of the club wanted answers,

but they would have to wait.
Cooper's face was a mask of rage. His pop looked calm enough, but the
guy had years of practice at hiding his feelings. When Cooper was too
angry to speak, Tucker explained.
"Saint called from Tucson and said the clean up couldn't be completed
because Caleb wasn't in town. The other guys were dealt with including
Lloyd, but Caleb's neighbors claimed he'd gone hunting a few days
earlier. The Devils are in a fucking rage, but they 've got no leader.
Saint said the rumor is a Mexican gang is looking to take over the
Devils' territory. Vaughn's old crew has got bigger shit to worry about
than us."
"Who tried to grab Bailey?" Judd asked.
The muscles in Kirk's jaw twitched then he shrugged. "Wasn't Caleb.
Probably one of his guys. Saint said the fucker took a few buddies
hunting with him."
Realizing the timeline, I sighed. "Once their shitty hitman got killed,
they sent Caleb to do me. Now, he's heard about his dad and lost his
fucking mind."
"Bailey's okay though?" asked one of Kirk's guys.
Nodding, Kirk suddenly looked directly at me and every muscle in my
body tensed.
"Raven?" I asked.
"No, she was with Jodi and the girls. They're fine, but while the fucker
tried to grab Bailey, his buddies were over at Cooper's future office.
They grabbed Harlow, her sister, and shot Raven's brother."
"Is Dylan dead?"
"No, but only because Tad pulled a gun. Caleb didn't have time to
finish the job. He did get the girls though and sent us a message saying
he'd kill them if we didn't hand you over."
"Motherfucker!" I yelled, heading for the door without a damn clue
where I was going.
"Hold up," Cooper said, grabbing me. "You can't just run off. We need
to figure shit out first."
"Figure what out? I' m why they came here and shot up your town. Shot
at your sister, man. Let's end this."

"How? By handing you over, so everything we've done was for shit?
Don't be a fucking idiot."
"They're going to kill Harlow. The kid finally had a chance at a life and
they've got her," I said then lowered my voice. "They're pissed and
scared and they've got those two girls. The longer they have them, the
worse it'll be. Just call the asshole and tell him we'll end it now."
"What about Raven? You gonna ditch your woman because you're
having a panic attack."
"I'm not panicking."
"You're acting like an idiot. If you're not panicking, what the fuck is
your problem?"
"I need to make this right," I said, reaching for the door.
"Damn it, Vaughn," Cooper said, shoving me against the wall. "You
said I was your president and you would follow me. Well, I'm telling
you to stand the fuck down."
"He's going to kill those girls."
"Maybe, but handing your ass over to him doesn't mean they'll live
either. Let us figure things out first, so we can save everyone. Caleb
doesn't want to die, so he'll be willing to negotiate. We have the cards
here. If he kills those girls, we kill him. If he kills you, we kill him. He
has a contract on his head and you know how that feels. If Caleb is
looking to go back to Tucson and lead the Devils, he'll give us the girls
in exchange for a truce."
"He might not be thinking straight. His dad is dead. His club was
attacked and Caleb has a temper. His only loyalty is to the club and he'll
want revenge."
"Then, we'll find and kill him. You running off like a fuckwad won't
save Harlow and her sister. You need to settle down and let me figure
things out."
Even wanting to mention how long it took for him to figure shit out
before, I kept my big mouth shut. Cooper was in charge and I was his
guy. If I didn't behave, maybe I wasn't his guy anymore and I'd have
more to worry about than the Devils.
"Do what you can, Cooper. Those girls don't deserve this shit after what
they had growing up."

"Understood. Now, make sure our women are safe at the house. Lock
shit down, so we don't have more trouble. I've got feelers out to all of
our contacts and they'll find Caleb and his fucking friends. No way can
they hide long in our territory. Once we know where they are, we'll
figure out how to go in and get the girls."
I felt like an outsider all these years with the Reapers. If I wanted to call
myself their brother, I needed to stop thinking I was in this fight alone.
Kirk and his boys treated me better than the Devils ever did. Even as
Ted's stepson, I was the loner who cleaned messes. Never trusted with
decisions, I was just called to hide their dirty secrets. In Ellsberg with
these men, I could be really part of a club.
The entire ride to the Johansson property was torture as I remembered
Harlow wearing face paint at the fair. For years, I never believed she'd
recover from the ugliness of that night or the suffering Playboy put her
through. I imagined her ruined, but she'd grown up to be a woman
capable of laughter and light. If Caleb stole that from her, I would
spend the rest of my fucking life hunting his ass down. No truce would
stop me. No loyalty to the club. Even Raven's love might not be enough
for me to give up on revenge.
Once I saw her running down to meet me, I accepted I wasn't strong
enough to give her up to find my vengeance. She owned my heart and I
was relieved Cooper stopped me from breaking hers.
"They'll save her," Raven said immediately, knowing not only what I
was thinking, but what I needed to hear.
Taking her into my arms, I could breathe again. "You give me hope,
cookie," I whispered before kissing her.
Raven held me so tightly I suspected she would have broken a weaker
man. Fear radiated from my woman, but she gave me a wonderful fake
smile.
"The Devils want to destroy you because you're special and they're
nothing. They can't have you though. You belong with me here in
Ellsberg and I refuse to let you go."
"You're going to be my wife. Nothing is interfering with that
plan."
Nodding a little too vigorously, Raven glanced up at the deck

where Lark waited.
"How's Dylan?" I asked as we walked towards the stairs.
"In surgery. The Reapers guy at the hospital called Jodi and said Dylan
will be okay," Raven said, shivering. "I can't believe he tried to stop
those bastards. I mean, it makes sense that he'd try, but he was
unarmed."
Her eyes red from earlier crying, Lark waited for us with a nervous
smile. "I heard he used a hammer on the guys. Got one of them in the
eye too."
"You okay?" I asked as she and Raven sat on a bench.
"Scared for Dylan and those girls. Ellsberg felt so safe and now it
doesn't. I'm just scared someone will die."
"They will, but it won't be our people," I assured her.
Bailey appeared outside with two Rottweilers. She was armed with a
gun in her hand and one strapped to her side.
"Any trouble out here?" she asked, waving her gun around.
"Naw," I said, hugging her to me. "You scared the bastards away."
"Yeah, I kick ass pretty spectacularly. Want me to teach you some
moves?"
We all laughed, but Bailey was more than a little freaked out. The
bravado masked none of her fear. Her question definitely distracted
though.
"Do you think that Deputy Darling guy is hot?"
Lark gasped. "Don't make me puke! Please, I just settled my stomach."
"He's kinda manly and stuff, right?"
I rolled my eyes. "Lawmen don't do it for me."
"You're fucking Raven. You don't need to get hot for him. I'm looking
for man meat and he's got a respectable job."
"Just ew," Lark said, leaning back and rubbing her bump. "Stop before
I upchuck on you."
A smiling Bailey sat next to Lark. "Okay, but only because I'm feeling
very giving since I kicked ass today. Oh, and Maddy asked me to be her
maid of honor. She said I was so nice to her when she was preggers that
she's picking me over her real sisters. I'm that fucking

good."
The next hour, I kept Raven close to reassure her. We were even talking
about sneaking off to the apartment when I got a call from Cooper.
"Get your ass back here. We got a lead on the fuckers."
Leaving Raven was painful, but I forced myself to go. The club needed
me and my president wasn't asking. When I got to Kirk's bar, the
parking lot was as full as when I left. The mood had shifted inside the
bar, seeming more jovial.
"Unfuckingbelievable," Judd said, walking to me. "How's
Tawny?"
"Good. She's armed and ready to kill. I'd say it was sexy, but I don' t
want you punching me."
Judd nearly glared at me then remembered why I was back. "The
assholes are holed up in a cabin in the woods."
"How do you know?"
"Harlow told us." "What?"
"She and Winona got free. Killed one of them too. They got to the road
and flagged down a car. Now, we have a lead on the fuckers." "Where
are the girls now?"
"Club doc is checking them out. Bruised up, but nothing broken.
Harlow described where the cabin was so we're arming up and hitting
it. Those guys won't have time to get far. We'll finish this today."
While checking the weapons Judd set out on the table, my mind
wondered about Harlow and what the bastards did to her. Even if she
wasn't my responsibility anymore, I still thought of her that way.
I walked into the room where a doctor was checking the girls. Harlow
sported a black eye and an ugly welt across her forehead, but she
seemed otherwise unharmed. Hiding behind long dark hair, her sister
was shaking wildly and I saw bruises up and down her thin arms. I
hated to imagine what those bastards might do to two pretty teenage
girls. Even if I didn't think Caleb was the rapist type, it'd been years
since we were friends and people change.
His anger clear, Cooper walked to me. "You and Judd take the

lead. I'm not going to pretend like I'm as good with a gun as you two.
Just don't go off halfcocked. This shit is about more than you and your
old club. My family and people are threatened too. Don't fuck this up
because your ego gets loose." "Understood, boss."
"You look pissed about the girls," Cooper said, leaning closer. "I get
that. Go out and get some air and calm down. That way, you can be
steely when we go hunting."
Obeying my president, I headed outside to calm my rage. Those bruises
on Harlow were done by guys I once considered friends. Hell, Caleb
was like a brother to me. I thought he had some kind of honor, but he
drew blood on the flesh of innocent women. Now, I wanted blood too.
Walking into the hot night, I felt someone following. My gut said it was
Harlow. I turned to her and sighed.
"Go back inside."
"I forgive you," she said, looking as young as when I found her years
ago.
"For what?"
"For whatever you think you did wrong," she said, stepping closer.
"You always have this guilty look on your face when you see me. I
don't understand why. I want you to know if you think you did
something wrong to me that I forgive you."
"Thanks, but go inside."
"Why?"
"You need to stay safe while I need to do my job and finish this
shit."
"Do you regret saving me?" she asked, crossing her arms as if cold. "Is
that why you feel guilty?"
Studying her young battered face, I realized there was no avoiding this
conversation any longer.
"Yeah, sometimes," I admitted, feeling like an asshole saying it out
loud. "I think about how different my life would have been if I hadn't
done what I did that night. It does make me feel guilty to consider how
I might be happier if you were dead."
"You gave up a lot to help me."

"No, not really," I said, rubbing the back of my neck. "That's the thing.
I missed my old life because it was what I knew. The new one is
unknown. I didn't leave anything worth holding onto though."
Harlow took my hand. "I heard about your mom. I remember you
calling her when we got to the first hotel. You sounded scared and I
could tell you were worried you wouldn't see her again. You did lose a
lot helping me."
"You got things wrong, kid. You've got this idealistic view of what
happened that night. I wasn't your white knight. I killed those fuckers
because I was pissed. I'd hated them for a while, but that night was the
last straw. You need to stop viewing me as a great guy."
"You were an avenging angel," she said, ignoring my anger. "You
could have looked the other way and did your job. I know that better
now. I didn' t realize how much you gave up back then. I know now and
I'm sorry you never saw your mom again. You didn't deserve to be
punished for helping me and hurting bad men. You deserved a reward,
but you were exiled and hunted instead."
"You're putting me up as a hero and I'm not."
Harlow stared at me with her tired eyes. "You saved my life. Not only
that day, but by bringing me here. You gave me a chance to have a new
family and grow up. You can say you're not a hero. Hell, you can say
anything you want, but you are my hero."
Sighing, I gave her a grudging smile. "You killed a guy?"
"Some people need dying," Harlow said, letting go of my hand. "You
know that and I know it too. It was either Winona and me or that man. It
wasn't a hard choice. The first time I hit him with the tree branch was
the hardest part. Once I hit him, it got easier. My anger made it easier
and I just kept hitting him. Winona had a rock..."
Harlow's gaze unfocused, she remembered taking a life.
"It's weird really. How one second the guy was strong and in charge.
He was a threat and we were the victims. Then, he was weak and
begging. He laughed when we begged, but I didn't laugh when he
begged. I just kept hitting him until he shut up. Winona did too. We
weren't going to be his victims."
Shaking off the memory, she sighed. "I was angry today like you

were that night. Being pissed off doesn't make what we did wrong. My
anger gave me the fire to get the job done. I think your anger back in
Tucson gave you the fire to kill men you were expected to protect. You
went against your training and did what your heart said was right. That
takes balls, Vaughn. I'm proud of you."
I chuckled. "You sound like a mom talking down to her kid."
"You didn't grow up enough," Harlow said, giving me a little smirk. "I
think you stopped growing in your head at some point and still need to
find your way." Harlow kicked at the ground then gave me a big smile.
"I heard you're getting married. Guess you can't really be an outlaw
anymore then. Can't be on the outside when you belong to something.
Maybe you're finally growing up."
"Look at you, Little Miss Know-it-all."
"I wonder about you a lot," she said, glancing at the approaching
Harleys. "I make myself think about that night. I try to face it because
it's my weakness. I want to be stronger than my mother who couldn't
face her weaknesses. I want to be powerful, but that night makes me
scared again. I force myself though and I remember how you were. I
wish you could see you the way I do, but I guess life isn't like that."
Seeing Harlow so confident, I felt a sort of fatherly pride in her. "No,
it's not, darling. I'm glad you killed that bastard, but I wish it hadn' t
happened. I wish those ugly times were long ago."
"Our past doesn't want to let us go. You'll finish it though. I know you
will because you're not one of the Devils anymore. You need to end
that part of you and be a new man. You can finally stop being an
outsider or an outlaw. It's important to belong."
"It is. Are you okay?" I asked, running my finger over the gash on her
head. "Did those bastards hurt you?"
"I was scared when they first came," she said, fighting the fear in her
voice. "I saw them shoot Dylan in the chest and thought they killed
him. Then, they shot at Tad. When they grabbed us, I felt like I was a
little kid getting tossed around. Like I wasn't real and only existed to do
what others wanted. When I made myself stop thinking like that, I
stopped being scared. I know people say no one really changes, but I
don't believe that. I know I've changed. You can too. Be happy with

your woman and have a family. I bet you'd be good with kids. You
were really sweet to me when we traveled. I was really scared of you,
but you were patient."
As much as the answer might tear me apart, I had to ask. "Did Caleb
hurt you like Playboy did?"
Harlow shrunk away a little when I said Playboy's name. "No, not
Caleb. The guy we killed tried. His eye was messed up and he thought
we owed him for that. Well, not really with me. I was necessary to keep
around. He saw Winona as the spare girl, I guess. They were rougher
with her and that guy wanted to use her."
When Harlow paused, her fear shifted into a dark anger. "I saw this
look on Winona's face like she was back in the ugly time of her life. She
wasn't my Winona from the Todds. She was someone's whore and that
pissed me off. We've worked hard not to live in the ugly past and that
bastard wanted to take it away. I got angry and my anger made me
strong." Harlow wiped a single tear from her cheek. "Caleb didn't try to
rape us, but he let his guy go after Winona. I know he was your friend,
but he's not you."
Touching her chin, I lifted her gaze to mine. "I'm going to kill those
fuckers and we'll both be free."
"I believe in you. I always did. I was scared, but not really of you. I
don't know how I knew, but I did and I was right. You're a good man
who does an ugly job. You'll fix this."
Studying her, I felt the old wounds open up a little more. "I wish I had
gotten there earlier and saved your mom and brother and sister. I feel
guilty about that too."
Tears filling her eyes, Harlow nodded. "I think about how I might have
saved them. When I was with Playboy, I always thought about running
away, but I couldn't go to the cops. The Devils would have killed me
for snitching on one of their guys. If I stayed on the street, I would get
pimped out. I just figured it was easier to stay with Playboy and his old
lady. The hell you know thing. If I had run off though, my mom might
have been okay. If my mom hadn't freaked out and threatened Playboy,
she might have gotten us all out. We all could have done things
different, but we weren't the ones who decided to take their

lives that night. It wasn't my mom or Stacia crying too much or me not
running off or you getting there too late. It was Playboy and his sick
friends. They were evil and you stopped them from hurting anyone
else. You avenged my family and you shouldn't feel guilty."
"Fuck, darling. You sure know to pep talk a guy."
"I've been wanting to say this for a long time. All my babble had been
sitting in my head waiting."
Cupping her face, I stared into her fair eyes and swore, "Once I end
Caleb and his friends, we'll be free."
"I know. I'm glad you know too. Sometimes, you seem insecure."
Laughing, I hugged her to me. "Smartass."
Harlow wished me good luck then hurried back inside to check on
Winona. I promised myself what I'd promised her. Today, the evil from
Tucson would end. Harlow and I would finally be free.

Chapter Twenty Seven - Raven
With Lark curled up in a spare room, I waited with the other chicks in
the family room. Vaughn, Judd, Cooper, Tucker, Kirk, and the club
were headed into the woods to hunt armed men. I should have trusted
they would be okay. On some level, I did trust it. Another part was me
worried I'd jinxed Vaughn after all.
Cuddled with Farah, Tawny kept a gun on her lap and a dark stare on
the door. She looked so much like Judd that I nearly laughed. A little
jealous of her cool, I needed that strength too.
Bailey braided Sawyer's hair while Jodi braided her oldest daughter' s.
It was the Johansson women relaxation exercise apparently. I watched
them and waited for news.
Just after four, the phone rang and Jodi answered immediately. She said
very little before hanging up.
"Killed the fuckers. One of them turned coward and left town. Some
guys are chasing him down. Our men are safe."
Everyone smiled and laughed and acted like they weren't worried at all.
A crying Farah waved off concerns and claimed it was all hormones.
Until the guys walked through the door, we would worry.
Vaughn even texted me to say he was heading home and I should be
ready to soothe his anger with lots of vigorous sex. Technically, he
wrote, "Man angry, want caveman sex." I got the message.
After checking on Lark, I took a gun and walked to the apartment to
prepare for Vaughn' s caveman needs. Just the thought of him doing his
grunt talking made me laugh. He was finally free of the threats from the
Devils and no longer an outlaw. Entering the apartment, I imagined
ways to celebrate this fact. Caveman sex was just the beginning.
"You're the secretary," a voice said from behind me. Before I spun
around, I felt the gun against my temple. "Don't pull your gun or I'll
pull my trigger. Do you want your pretty face splashed on the walls?"
Struggling against the urge to fight back, I relaxed my body. I didn' t
even flinch when he pulled my gun from my pocket.
"The secretary wants to live. That's good. Now, sit on the couch

and we'll wait for Vaughn."
Giving him no reason to feel threatened, I moved slowly to the couch
and sat down. When my back was to him, I slid my engagement ring
from my finger and shoved it into my pocket. Once on the couch, I
sized up the asshole. He was tall and tatted. With a shaved head and
mean eyes, I sensed he would kill me without blinking.
"You're Caleb?"
He gave me a cold smile. "Did Vaughn wax poetic about how we'd
bowl and bang chicks? You know, the good old days."
"He just said you were friends and now you aren't."
"Did you tell him what I said on the phone that day when his mom
croaked?"
I remember how Caleb said Michelle begged to see her son at the end.
Even if this was true, I would never tell Vaughn. He suffered enough
without knowing she asked for him. I planned to take Caleb's words to
my grave.
He smirked when I shook my head. "Protecting the pretty fucker. Well,
I don't think you'll protect him today."
"It's not too late to just leave."
Caleb ignored my comment and glanced at the door. "You people are
so arrogant. Don't even lock your damn doors," he grunted, giving me
dark glare. "You think you're so safe here because the Reapers are tied
to Memphis. Fucking Kirk always thought he was so special."
"If you leave now, you can get away. Go back to Tucson. Help your
club."
"My club?" he sneered. "Your fucking prince got my uncle and dad
killed. The Reapers laid waste to my club. Now, the fuckers in Tucson
are feasting on the leftovers. There's no club left, bitch."
"You could still run. I have money."
"I don't want to run. I want to kill Vaughn. I want to watch him die and
you're going to help me by sitting here like a good little secretary. If
you start shit, the last thing Vaughn will see before I blow his fucking
head off is his woman splattered on the ground."
"I don't want to die," I mumbled, trying to seem weak to a man who
wouldn't have been intimidated if I acted strong. "I don't want

Vaughn to die."
"Too late for that," he said, glancing out the shades while keeping his
gun pointed at me. "You're a hot bitch. No doubt you'll have a new dick
inside you quick enough."
We remained silent while I imagined going for his gun. In my head, I
already saw my love dead. Vaughn would die with his eyes open then
Caleb would kill me next. I saw in his eyes how he didn't care if he
lived. Caleb would take us all out with him. Might even walk into the
Johansson house where my sister rested. How many people might he
kill before someone put his sick ass down?
Building my courage, I waited until the last possible moment to make
my move. A part of me was certain I would die. My mind imagined him
firing the gun. There'd be no fixing the hole in my head, but the shot
would alert the others. One death was better than two or a dozen.
Whether God was real or not, I remembered what Vaughn said about
faith. Believing my prayers would be answered, I prayed for God to
protect the ones I loved. If I also managed not to die, that would be
great too.
The sound of Harleys was the starter pistol my courage needed. His
excitement and fear written on his face, Caleb turned his attention to
the window and his approaching target. He didn't even see me
anymore. It was all about Vaughn.
The next few seconds were a blur. Overwhelmed with fear and
desperation, I wasn't even thinking. I simply reacted to the sound of the
Harleys by jumping up and running for Caleb. He turned as I lunged at
him. As we landed against the wall, I reached for the window. I hoped
to make enough of a noise to warn the arriving men. Instead, I felt the
sharp blow of his elbow against my jaw.
Seeing stars, I hurled my body against his and grabbed for the gun. For
the slightest second, I had the momentum. As the gun loosened in his
grip, I thought I might actually stop him. I could win. Caleb would die
and everyone would be safe and.
When Caleb headbutted me, the pain nearly caused me to pass out.
Stumbling back while holding my bloody nose, I looked at him for only

a second before realizing it was over. Caleb was going to kill me now.
With no other way to warn the other before I died, I screamed as loudly
as I could. My cry lasted until Caleb's fist hit me hard enough to knock
my head back. Finally, my balance gave out and I tumbled flat on my
back. Anger overwhelming his revenge plan, Caleb straddled me then
threw one punch after another.
Every time I tried to block him, he held my arm away. Caleb even
laughed at my attempts to protect myself. Laughter full of hate, he
sounded like a monster.
After the first three punches, I couldn't see through the blood and pain.
I couldn't think either. I was suddenly a little girl again hiding from the
monsters my mom brought home. Terrified of those evil men, I would
hide with Lark and Phoenix in the closet and tell them stories. This
time, I told myself my hero would save me. Even when the monster
stood up and began kicking and stomping on me, I imagined I would be
okay because my knight was coming.

Chapter Twenty Eight - Vaughn
The first guy I killed was a murderer himself. Taking his life meant
shit, but it still bothered me afterwards. By the time I killed Playboy, I
knew what kind of man I was and never made excuses. The thing
keeping me from becoming a complete monster was my unwillingness
to murder Harlow. Otherwise, I'd never shown any hesitation.
As I hunted my old club members in the woods of Kentucky, I
wondered if I'd hesitate when facing Caleb. He and I were friends once.
We bowled every week. Got drunk off our asses and stumbled around
on the streets of Tucson together. Before Caleb, I'd never had a really
close friend my age. My buddies were the old timers at the bowling
alleys. My confidants were Mom and Granddad. Caleb was my friend,
but I planned to kill him anyway.
I remembered the bruises on Harlow's face and the way Winona
trembled. I thought about Dylan in the hospital with a gunshot wound
and Bailey under attack in a place she considered safe. Most of all, I
had Raven to protect. Once these bastards were dead, I was free to build
a real life with my woman.
Yards away, Judd moved in sync with me. These last few years of
training, we'd learned to work well together. Behind us were Cooper,
Kirk, Tucker, and a half dozen other Reapers.
After Harlow and Winona escaped, Caleb and his guys were left with
two choices. Run or double down.
We walked near the only road from the cabin to the main road. Thirty
minutes passed before we heard movement coming in our direction.
Judd and I squatted down to lie in wait.
Two guys hurried down the path with bags on their backs. A chunkier
third guy farther down the path was breathing hard while trying to keep
up. None of them were Caleb.
The rifle felt comfortable in my hands as I prepared to take my shot.
Judd aimed at the guy on his side of the road. The out of breath third
one would give us info about where his boss was hiding.
Once Judd and I fired in unison, the two front guys collapsed

instantly from head wounds. They'd died quicker than they likely
deserved.
The third guy stopped his huffing and puffing. Standing very still, he
studied the woods. I wasn't sure what he hoped for by standing so still.
Did he think we hadn't seen him or heard all of his bitching about the
walk? Whatever he hoped, reality took hold. He bolted into the woods,
not far from my hiding spot.
Taking off after him, I expected gunfire. Clearly, he hadn't the time or
brains to grab his weapon. Recognizing him, I thought his name was
Freddy. When I yelled it out, he turned and I tackled him.
Nailing him across the jaw, I quickly had Freddy shoved against a tree
with my gun at his head.
"It's the traitor," Freddy hissed, catching his breath.
"Where's Caleb?"
"Fuck you."
I relaxed the gun from his temple. "Look, I can make you talk. It'll be
long and painful and you'll likely piss yourself. You will talk though.
Why suffer when we can make it quick?"
"Fuck you."
"When you came here, I assume you knew you would die. Caleb made
that clear, didn't he? How coming into Reapers territory to attack the
locals would make you dead. Why act shocked about death now?"
"Caleb never said we were going to die because you Reapers are
pussies."
"You know Lloyd's dead, I assume. Now, the Mexicans will tear apart
the Devils, so there's nothing for you to suffer protecting."
After glancing at Judd, Freddy noticed Kirk and his boys approaching.
He clearly hadn't thought he would die by coming to Ellsberg. While I
didn't know Freddy well, I felt safe in assuming he was an idiot. In his
defense, Caleb could be persuasive.
"Where's Caleb?" I asked.
"The coward fucking ran off. He said he was finding us a new place to
hold up at after those cunts killed Peter. When we called him, he said he
wasn't coming back. He told us to walk to the road and find a ride and
get out of town. The bastard ditched us and ran off."

Knowing Caleb, leaving his guys to die made sense. He had always
viewed himself as superior to the other club members. Like Cooper,
Caleb had things handed to him. Unlike Cooper, Caleb viewed the club
as serving him without him having any responsibility to the club.
"You know what happens next," I said to Freddy who stared at me with
pleading eyes.
"This is bullshit. You killed Playboy. You stole our money. You
deserve to die. I didn't do anything wrong."
"Man, you came here looking to spill blood in Reapers' territory. You
grabbed those girls."
"That wasn't me. It was Caleb and the others."
Doing the math, I knew four guys grabbed Harlow and Winona before
shooting Dylan. When I glanced at Kirk, I realized he knew what
Freddy had been up to while the others were at Cooper's office.
"I'm not going to kill you, bud. I'll leave that to the dad of the girl you
took a shot at."
Freddy tried to talk his way out of getting a bullet to the head, but Kirk
wasn't in a forgiving mood. Not when his kids were involved.
As I stepped away and the Johanssons handled Freddy, Judd joined
me.
"You think he's telling the truth about Caleb?"
"Makes sense. Why else would they be walking? They ditched two cars
near the road. They had three, leaving one to take them to the cabin."
"Caleb took the car, but would he leave Ellsberg?"
"I don't know. He wanted revenge, but once the girls escaped, he likely
knew we'd catch up to them."
"He had time to get away. Why not take his buddies?"
"Bait," I said, sighing. "Every minute, we're dealing with them, we're
not chasing him. As the club VP, he has access to the club's hidden
funds. He could go anywhere with that money. If he takes the guys, he
has to hide them too. They might even want to go back and fight for the
club. If he figures it's a lost cause in Tucson, he'd save himself and
never look back."
"Fucking cold."

"Yeah, but we should head back to the compound just in case he gets it
into his head to start shit again. Make sure word remains out about him.
He could be lurking around my place, Kirk's bar, anywhere he think he
can hit us."
"Not the compound though?"
"I don't know," I said, feeling uneasy. "It'd be suicide. I don't know if
he's ready to die. The fucker's always had life handed to him. I have
trouble thinking of him giving it up when he has an out."
Maybe feeling uneasy too, Judd rubbed hard at his neck. "Let's just
head back and regroup. I know Tawny and Jodi can hold their own, but
I won't feel right until the Devils are dust."
While Kirk sent out word that Caleb could still be around town, Cooper
called his guy out at the compound. Even knowing Raven was safe, the
ride back felt too long and the heat irritated me. An hour earlier, I
hoped we'd hit the cabin, kill the bastards, and be done with it. My life
with Raven could begin without the contract on my head and worries
about our safety.
The Johansson place was quiet when we arrived. In the distance, dogs
roughhoused by the river. Hearing a TV playing inside the house, I
smiled at how loud Jodi kept it. Nothing seemed out of place as we
parked our Harleys in the massive driveway.
As Cooper and Judd started for the house first, I wondered about Raven
getting ready for my caveman needs. Unsure if she was at the house or
the apartment, I decided to go for the house.
A scream broke through the stale summer air. Without thinking, we
were all running towards the house except the Rottweilers were
barking at the apartment. A few were running down the stairs in that
direction too, so I switched gears.
The scream lasted only a few seconds. As I barreled up the stairs to the
apartment, I felt like I was trapped in a horror movie. Her screamed
echoed in my head and the staircase seemed to go on forever. I feared I
would never reach the top. A million horrible possible outcomes
lingered in my thoughts, but nothing was as horrifying as what I found.
When the door burst open and I rushed inside, Caleb was covered in
blood. No longer was he my cousin or friend. Caleb was less than a

stranger. He was the fucker who caused my woman to bleed. There was
no time to consider my feelings about him. The moment I caught a
glimpse of my battered love, my humanity snapped off and I was no
more than a killing tool.
Caleb reached for the gun in his waistband, but never had a chance to
point it at me before I was on him. We fell to the ground where I easily
ripped it from his grip. Realizing the fucker was worn out from beating
on Raven, I wanted him to bleed now.
Using the butt of the gun, I slammed it into his face. The first strike
caught him telling me to fuck off. The second landed as he choked on
his shattered teeth. Hitting him again and again, I tossed the gun aside
and used my fists.
His bones shattered under the impacts, but it wasn't enough. I knew on
some level he was dead long before I stopped hitting him. Logic meant
nothing until he was a stain on the floor.
I only stopped pounding when I saw Judd moving towards Raven.
"No," I growled. "Don't touch her."
Crawling to Raven, I begged for some sign of life. As if sensing my
desperation, she reached out for me and tried to sit up.
"Don't move, cookie," I said, taking her bloody hand and running my
fingers over her already swelling face.
Seeing her bloody lips move, I leaned down to hear her.
"I knew you'd come," she gurgled.
"I' m here," I whispered, wanting to apologize for failing her.
Her eyes already swelling shut, Raven turned her head and spit out a
tooth. Blood was everywhere, making me fearful to touch her.
"We've called an ambulance," Judd said, leaning down next to me as I
held Raven's hand.
"Don't," she mumbled, "tell Lark it's bad. Protect her."
"We won't, baby. It'll be okay, sugar. I promise, darling."
Raven laughed at my excessive terms of endearment then whimpered
in pain.
"We'll have them turn off the sirens," Judd said, placing his hand on my
shoulder. "We'll clean up the trash."
Noticing Cooper and Tucker at the door, I knew their faces said it

all.
Raven was bad off.
Judd patted my shoulder again. "You got here in time. It'll be fine."
The way he said the words helped me believe the lie. I needed lies more
than anything. Raven wasn't a delicate girl, but I didn't see my woman
on the ground. I saw a bloody and broken stranger.
I leaned forward to whisper in her ear and Raven exhaled at the feel of
my breath. She sighed the same way in the morning when I 'd wake her
by whispering naughty ideas. Raven always smiled after she sighed,
but she couldn't now. Her lips were busted and I couldn't imagine her
smiling ever again.
"I love you, peanut. Baby doll, don't leave me, candy."
"Nickname overload," she mumbled with great effort.
"I' m sorry," I whispered, fighting my panic and rage. Wanting to cry
and scream, I really wanted to kill Caleb a million times. Instead, I
begged, "Don't leave me."
Raven tightened her grip on my hand. While I sensed she wanted to
speak, it was too much effort.
"We'll protect Lark," I promised, calming myself. "She won't see you
until you look like yourself."
This was the biggest line of bullshit I ever told.
Raven arrived at the hospital where they did x-rays and gave her pain
medicine. I stayed with her whenever I could and paced around like a
caged animal whenever they made me leave her.
Two cracked ribs, a broken nose, and a break in both her right leg and
left arm. With time and care, Raven would recover. Once they cleaned
her up, added a cast to her leg and arm, and settled her into a room, I
took my post at her side.
Despite my promise to keep Lark from seeing Raven until she was
healed, the pixy wasn't taking no for an answer. I knew she wanted to
be brave, but seeing her sister beaten so badly sent her into hysterics. A
sobbing Lark only calmed when Aaron hugged her and whispered
something. Soon, she was merely teary-eyed as she caressed Raven's
swollen face.
"You're so strong. So brave," Lark said.

Raven mumbled something then giggled.
"She's really digging her meds," I explained and Lark gave me a weak
smile.
"We're going to take care of you. I'll cook your favorites."
Raven made a humming noise then fell asleep. Long after Lark and
Aaron left, she remained quiet. Nurses came in, checked her, and
smiled reassuringly at me before slipping out of the room. Raven
needed rest and the medicine would keep her out for a while, but I
needed her to tell me that she was okay.
As the sun set, I ate a hospital meal and watched TV. Every few
minutes, I glanced at the girl on the bed and tried to see Raven. I
struggled to remember her smile and laugh. With her face so swollen,
she didn't seem like my love. I worried I'd lost her because I brought
Caleb to Ellsberg.
Eventually, the nurse showed me how to turn the chair into a pull out
bed. I thanked her, but the thing was too damn small for me to fit on.
Besides, I didn't want to sleep until Raven woke up. Finally, I gave into
my weird little urge to kiss the sleeping beauty. I needed to know she
was okay. Know she wanted me to stay because she still loved me. I felt
nervous until her swollen lips twitched into a smile after my kiss.
"Tell me a story," she mumbled while gripping my shirt with her good
hand and tugging me into the bed with her.
I adjusted our bodies just enough for me to rest next to her. While the
position wasn't comfortable, I finally relaxed at knowing my woman
wanted me close.
Caressing her battered face with my fingers, I loved how she smiled for
me. Even in pain and after a hellish day, she soothed my fears.
"Once upon a time," I said and she smiled again, "there was a lonely
fool who wasted one day after another of his life. One day, he met the
most fascinating chick and she quickly wrapped the fool around her
finger. She loved him in the best way and saved him from himself. He
loved her too and only wanted for her to be happy and safe."
Hesitating, I frowned at the sight of her suffering. As if knowing what I
was thinking, she reached up and ran a finger of my lips.
"More."

"After the evil... let's call them gnomes because I hate those ugly little
fuckers. So, once the gnomes were destroyed, the fool and his lovely
savior bought a big house for all the beautiful blond babies they would
have together."
As Raven smiled at this idea, my uneasiness faded.
"Their kids all had names with a V in them to honor their hot parents."
Raven laughed then moaned at the gesture. Still, she kept smiling for
me.
"The fool, his beautiful woman, and their army of glorious babies
played videogames, bowled, and roller skated. They were always
happy and never sad in a town with their friends and family. They all
lived happily ever after."
Raven swollen lips smiled enough to show her missing tooth. Even
though she was essentially blind with her battered eyes, she knew I'd
seen her mouth and covered it with her hand.
"You're beautiful, darling. Nothing will ever change that."
Raven grunted, unconvinced.
"There's more to love about you than your beauty."
Another grunt followed by a hint of a pout.
"Sugar, if I got all banged up and my stunning good looks were
damaged, you'd still love me, right?"
Raven laughed, but said nothing, so I answered for her.
"Of course, you would. My amazing personality and giant brain would
keep you horny even if my hot body wasn't at its best."
Laughing harder now, Raven leaned against me. "I liked your story."
"Unlike most fairytales, this one is coming true." "Promise."
"All my life, I accepted what I was given. I was lazy, I guess, and I
never dreamed big. With you, I have a dream I refuse to give up. I will
never let you go even if I need to bring out the chloroform again."
Normally, Raven would give me her grumpy glare at the mention of
chloroform. This time, she sighed with relief. I was still hers. I couldn't
imagine her worrying about this fact, but she clearly had until

my promise. We were finally free and nothing was driving us apart
again.

Chapter Twenty Nine - Raven
Flowers filled my hospital room. The girls in the Storm Babes sent a
beautiful arrangement while the Johanssons sent another. Lark and
Aaron sent me balloons along with a teddy bear riding a Harley.
Most gifts were from Vaughn who ordered them off his phone
whenever I dozed. If I was awake, he would talk to me about anything
that popped into his head. Some of it was pure lunacy based on his lack
of sleep. The bed wasn't comfortable for him and he hated sleeping
away from me on the pull out bed. We needed to get home where he
could stretch out while remaining close to me.
A few hours before I left the hospital, Dylan wheeled himself into my
room. I think the nurse wanted to do it, but she had a bitchy vibe and he
was clearly avoiding her. My leg was no longer elevated and I wore
actual clothes instead of a gown. Even looking as normal as I had
managed since arriving at the hospital, I was clearly a mess based on
his pained expression.
"You took a bullet to save those girls," I said as he watched me.
A pale Dylan shrugged then flinched at the pain of the movement. "In
my head, I would stop the bastards without getting shot. Didn't really
work out that way."
"Very brave though."
Looking pale, Dylan nodded. "I'm sorry I kicked your ass that day. I
never really thought of you as a girl."
"That's okay," I said reaching for his hand. "I'm sorry I kicked your ass
worse and made you look like a girl."
Dylan smirked. "And our gentle moment is over."
"Are they releasing you soon?"
"Tomorrow. I should have gone home sooner, but I got a light fever the
other night. Man, they lost their fucking minds. I think they just wanted
to jack up the bill."
"Probably. You look fine to me. Even like you might be faking the
whole getting shot thing."
Dylan smiled. "I hope the fucker who did that to you is dead."

Through the conversation, Vaughn said nothing. He didn't have to
speak. When Dylan mentioned the guy hurting me, he and Vaughn
shared a secret man signal. Whatever their man antennas announced,
Vaughn decided to push Dylan back to his room. That way, the bitchy
nurse wouldn't hassle him.
"Outlaw turned sweetie pie," I said when he returned.
Vaughn proceeded to give me a look that would lead to sex in any other
situation.
During the ride from the hospital to Vaughn's apartment, I was thinking
sex. No matter what he said about how I was his, I worried he found me
less appealing. The swelling was gone around most of my face, but I
had two black eyes, a healing nose, and a missing tooth. When I
glanced in the mirror, I didn't look like me. Feeling insecure, I needed
to know Vaughn still wanted me.
Limping with a broken leg, I needed crutches to go more than a few
steps. Plus, I was weak from the pain drugs. My normal tough body
was suddenly vulnerable and I was afraid to be away from Vaughn for
more than a few minutes.
While I was in the hospital, Bailey dropped off my clothes and a few
other belongings including Fair Bear at Vaughn's apartment. We
arrived home after three days in the hospital. As soon as we were in the
apartment, Vaughn helped me into bed then sat on the edge. When I
looked at him, he seemed a little lost.
"Can I sleep naked?" I asked. "My skin feels better without the clothes
scratching against it."
Saying nothing, Vaughn helped me undress. His blue eyes studied me
lying on the bed, but showed no arousal. Instead of passion, he watched
me like a hurt child. I sensed he was confused about how to behave.
Reaching for a little confidence, I asked, "Do you want to get naked
too? That way, I won't feel so underdressed."
Vaughn finally smiled then yanked off his shirt, followed by the rest of
his clothes. Crawling into bed next to me, he feared touching me. The
bruises reminded him of his failures. Or maybe they made me too ugly
to desire. We were both so insecure. Even afraid of his rejection, I

needed to be brave for both of us.
Using my good hand, I ran my fingers over his chest, teasing the thick
hair and wolf tattoo. Vaughn exhaled in an exhausted way.
"I missed you," I whispered.
Vaughn' s lips found mine immediately. Tenderly, he kissed me as his
hand caressed my breast.
"I' m afraid to hurt you," he admitted after a lingering kiss.
"Just be gentle. No caveman sex for a while."
Vaughn stared into my eyes then finally said the words. "I'm sorry."
"You saved me. I knew you'd come and you did. Now, we're free to
start our lives together."
"I should have warned you."
Shaking my head, I cupped his face. "If I'd stayed in the house, he
would have been waiting for us when you got home. It's just as likely
that we'd both be dead instead of him. There are millions maybes that
don't matter. What does matter is he's dead and you saved me."
"You saved me too, baby cakes."
"I'm proud of how brave I was. I didn't want to die, but I wanted to save
you more. I wanted to protect my friends and Lark. When I was a kid
sometimes I would freeze in those situations and get so mad at myself
afterwards. That day with Caleb, I didn't freeze."
"I find bravery very sexy," he said, stroking my nipple. "Do you find
my showing up nearly too late sexy?"
"Not really. I find you shutting up and fucking me sexy though. You
being tough on yourself is actually a turn off."
Grinning, he kissed each of my cheeks then brushed his lips against
mine.
"I'm going to be so gentle, but make you come so hard. It's going to be
like magic."
Running my fingers through his hair, I sighed as his lips grazed my
tender skin. Vaughn kept his word too. He was unbearably gentle and I
did come hard repeatedly. It was just a relief to have him in my arms
and know he desired me.
The next few weeks as my bruised ribs healed, we learned to play

in gentle ways. While caveman sex would have to wait until I was
completely healed, every moment together gave us the reassurance we
needed. Our fears from that ugly day faded. Soon, they were no more
than bad memories from another life.
My vanity prevented me from spending too much time with people
until my tooth was fixed. Once I could look into the mirror and see
Raven instead of the swollen stranger, I agreed to join our friends for
dinner at Cooper and Farah's house.
On the drive over, we passed a few houses on sale in the still rather new
neighborhood. They were all fancy compared to those I grew up in and
any would be an improvement over Vaughn's "temporary" living
situation. One house though spoke to me.
Vaughn stopped the car in the front of the house like he did whenever
we spotted a "For Sale" sign. Leaning over me to check out the house,
his expression broke my heart. He wasn't a twenty six year old man
looking for houses, but a boy searching for a home like he never had
growing up.
"It's my favorite so far," I said, stroking his face.
Vaughn glanced at me and grinned like a stud. "If it's half as nice on the
inside, I think we might have a winner."
We both studied the yellow house on the tree lined street. Unlike the
surrounding houses, it wasn't covered in brick. The style felt more
farmhouse than suburban oasis. Two stories and big, the house was
new, yet looked lived in. A family called it home for now. They were
leaving, but I imagined our family inside. A good sized Oak tree in the
front yard might be strong enough one day to hold a tire swing.
"My kids are going to love this house," Vaughn whispered, leaning
back into his seat. "We'll call the realtor on Monday. I'll carry you up
the stairs if I have to, but I want to see that house."
"The schools are good in this area. Farah told me that once. We want
our kids to go to good schools."
Grinning, Vaughn started driving. "Big yard too. I can throw the ball
around with the kids in a yard like that. Take them to the park we saw
driving in."
"Will you throw the ball around with the girls too?"

"Fuck yeah. My girls need to know how to throw and catch a spiral."
When Vaughn winked at me, the last part of my uncertainties died. We
were finally free and beginning a new life.
Vaughn parked his truck on the street in front of Cooper's big house. I
made quick work of the walk up the drive with crutches, but the front
steps on their deck were tricky. As Vaughn picked me up, Cooper
opened the door and frowned.
"Working my glutes," Vaughn said, causing me to laugh.
At the barbecue, everyone treated me with kid gloves until Harlow and
Winona arrived. While the blonde smiled easily and her bruises were
healed, her adopted sister mostly hid behind her hair while avoided
talking to anyone. With someone else to pity, I was in the clear.
Harlow got her break from the sympathy train when Dylan arrived.
Lark babied him a lot while Aaron just frowned. Was Dylan a member
of the family or a former suitor? For me, he was family. Like an
annoying cousin I enjoyed in small doses. Sitting at a table, I mocked
his Mohawk while he told people I got injections to make my lips so
big. Sweeter than sweet Lark ordered us to be nice then proceeded to
claim we both wet the beds growing up. Yes, Dylan was definitely
family.
Bailey braided my hair then Lark's. My sister ended up with a few
braids sticking straight out. Farah received the double braid effect.
Tawny decided to avoid her turn by chasing Sawyer in the yard while
the dogs chased them both. Watching his woman play tag, Judd smiled
in a way I rarely saw from the grumpy guy. Clearly, the new medicine
and finally moving into their place had calmed Tawny.
By the time Vaughn had his hair braided, I was in stitches. Harlow
laughed too and I even noticed Winona smiling under hair. My man
stood up with his double braids and flexed a few muscles.
"I'm manly enough for any hairstyle."
Even as the guys gave him shit for this statement, the girls all agreed
my man was buff enough for braids. Vaughn just winked at me then
decided he would go maternal by holding Scarlet. Like any girl, the
baby enjoyed his attention.
"I'm glad you're here," Lark whispered in my ear."

"Me too. I missed everyone."
Bailey finally gave up coaxing Tawny to get braids. Flopping into a
chair, she sighed loudly. When no one noticed, she sighed again even
louder. I decided to baby her a little while my man played Uncle.
Wobbling over to Bailey, I caressed her hair.
"One or two braids?" I asked.
Bailey leaned back and smiled at me like I was the best person in the
world. "Two please."
Cooper and Tucker frowned at their sister's manners. I just shared her
smile and worked on her hair. When I had trouble with my casted arm,
Lark stood next to me and helped.
Surrounded by family and friends, I was blessed. Like an idiot, I ran
away from home with big plans. Like any idiot, I crashed and burned.
Returning to Ellsberg, I lowered my expectations on what my future
would offer. Instead of giving me the bare minimum, life blessed me
with a sister in love, new friends, and the man of my dreams. I literally
never fantasized of a life as amazing as the one before me.
As if feeling the same way, Vaughn held Scarlet and grinned at me. No
longer the outlaw, he finally had a family, home, and future.

Epilogue - Vaughn
By our seventh anniversary, we had five kids and weren't done yet.
Raven was blessed with easy pregnancies and could run around until
the moment of delivery. Oh, and did those deliveries become legend.
When River was born, the whole crew was laughing their asses off in
the waiting room because of Raven's profanity-laced rants. Our twins
came two years later. During their deliveries, a drinking game started
with the crew and club guys. Every time Raven screamed a cuss word,
Tucker told the guys at the bar and they'd take a shot of whiskey. Half
of the guys were wasted by the time Savannah was born. As Avery
joined her sister, the other half of the bar was just as drunk off their
asses.
The obstetrician nearly begged Raven to use pain meds. She refused of
course. No one was telling her what to do.
For Maverick's birth, the hospital moved Raven to a room at the end of
the hall and kept the other laboring mothers as far away as possible.
Another change the third time around was how Raven refused to allow
the club guys free fun based on her laboring pains. To play the drinking
game, they had to donate a hundred dollars into the kids' college fun.
We figured at least one of our kids would want to do the education
thing.
The guys donated the money and got ready for Raven to let loose. In
her laboring room, she even allowed a mic connected to overhead
speakers at the bar. Despite knowing they were all listening, my
woman didn' t disappoint. One particular favorite was motherfucking
crustacean cunt. When Maverick's head crowded, she also sounded a
little bit like a graboid from Tremors. Hell, I think she did that on
purpose because we'd watched the movie the night before. Raven was a
born entertainer.
That night, we added a few thousand dollars to the kids' college fund,
the guys had a blast getting wasted to Raven's profanity, and I
welcomed my second son. Unlike his angelic brother, Maverick peed
on me an hour after birth. I knew that boy was going to be a handful.
Despite the chaos, our family had a solid routine. Weekends were spent
at the cabin where we enjoyed the quiet. A few times a week,

Raven and Lark trained at Big Bob's. My kids and I cawed for mommy
during games. Once a week, we dropped by Cooper's new house to add
to his chaos.
At least twice a week, we lived at the bowling alley. All the kids loved
the game and River was quite talented like his pop. Our youngest
Nevaeh even enjoyed bowling before she was born. Every time we
were at the alley, the baby would kick the hell out of Raven. My
woman responded by eating nachos. While I never understood the plan
behind dosing our unborn kid with cheese, who was I to question her
tactics?
No matter how wild we got at home, our kids always behaved in public.
Raven figured no one would expect good manners from her offspring
and she wanted to prove the wrong. Even after years together, Raven
was still the beautiful stubborn woman I married.
Our big yellow dream house was filled with laughter and wild times.
One of my favorite activities was hosing down the kids and Raven on
the trampoline. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if we made so many kids
because I kept wetting her down like that.
No longer an outlaw, I had my family, club, and friends. Ellsberg was
my home and I never intended to leave. Raven was more than I could
have wished for in a woman and my kids kept me honest. No more lies.
Life was pretty perfect. All because a sexy chick broke her abstinence
pledge to enjoy a night of fun. One hot roll in bed blossomed into love,
marriage, and quite a few baby carriages. I wouldn't have it any other
way.

Epilogue - Raven
Even after all these years, I still kept Fair Bear on my dresser as a
reminder of the night Vaughn first said he loved me. While I'd freaked
out, he never gave up on us. My man might have a dirty job, I was in a
constant state of baby-making, and chicks drooled whenever he walked
into a room, but Vaughn was only mine.
We still enjoyed the fair every summer and we weren't the only ones.
Walking with our towheaded brood, I spotted Judd and Tawny with
their little ones. They had decided, boy or girl, they were done with
two, so Heidi would be their last child.
The dark hair beauty was the spitting image of her mother except for
sharing her daddy's blue eyes. Unlike her mellow brother, Heidi was a
giggle machine and loved to pull Vaughn's finger.
We waved at Tawny who smiled from the Ferris wheel with Judd and
Gunnar. Down below, Heidi watched with Zaria. Next to me, Vaughn
flipped off Judd who reciprocated. It was good to see the guys still
bonding. Our twins flipped off Judd too until River said it wasn't polite.
"We've raised classy kids," Vaughn said, giving me a wink.
Rolling my eyes, I walked with Nevaeh in a baby carrier strapped to the
front of me. The little hellraiser gnawed on a corndog she would never
eat with her two puny teeth. She just wanted to be like her siblings who
were all chowing down gross fair food. Like her daddy, Nevaeh wanted
to belong.
At a game stand, we fired water into clown mouths and attempted to fill
balloons in the hopes of winning an elusive prize. I helped Nevaeh fire
our gun while Maverick shot from his father's shoulders. Savannah was
the only one who managed to inflate a balloon. She gave her prize to
Avery who smirked as if she'd suckered her sister.
Vaughn sighed dramatically and I noticed Sawyer running around with
her friends. Wearing face paint and barely there shorts, the teenager
was stuck between childhood and womanhood.
"Our girls will never wear those shorts," Vaughn said then laughed.

"The best way to make that happen is to order them to wear the shorts.
Like mother, like daughters."
Sawyer's smile faded when Cooper spotted her shorts. Brother and
sister had a face-off which Cooper clearly won because Sawyer ran in
the opposite direction. After Farah high-fived Cooper, he received a
few cheers from his girls. Little Colton was more interested in the blue
cotton candy he was holding. Based on his expression, he just didn't get
it.
Though Scarlet explained to her baby cousin the marvels of cotton
candy, Colton wasn't impressed and pawned off the atrocity to his
mom. Taking his sisters' hands, he ran after Scarlet who darted towards
Judd and Tawny. Nearby goofing off at a game, Tucker and Maddy
took turns rubbing her baby bump.
By the time we sat down for dinner at the picnic tables, I was on a sugar
high from the crappy sodas. Next to me, Vaughn and River were fake
arm wrestling. On the other side of the table, Maverick stared
fascinated at Sawyer's face paint and eventually tried eating it. Soon,
Lark and Aaron arrived with face painted Phoebe and Leo, along with
their new baby Oliver. Maverick took advantage of the new people to
lick. My boy would eat anything.
My sister leaned her head against my shoulder and smiled at our
family. Earlier, we'd seen Mom with Larry, but ignored them. Only
once had Margo tried to meet her grandkids. Without giving it a second
thought, I blew her off. I was well aware of what she thought of my
husband and our life. She knew what I thought of her husband and her
life too. With no reason to pretend, I walked away with my family and
never looked back.
As the kids played and ate deep-fried foods, Vaughn leaned over and
sucked at my neck. He also gave me a naughty smile before returning
to being silly with his kids.
Growing up, Vaughn had no one except his mom. All those years, he
only wanted to belong and find his place. He tried first with the Devils
then the Reapers, yet he was always the outsider. These days, he was no
longer an outlaw. This incredible man finally belonged.
People had called him Outlaw, but for me he was the cure. His love
ended the sickness plaguing me since I was old enough to dream of

romance. No more chasing bad men with the hope that I might change
them. With Vaughn, I loved everything he offered and never wanted it
to end.

About Bijou
Living in Indiana with her three stinky sons, two wacky cats, one super
mom (and her ugly dog), Bijou loves writing, blogging, and Denny's.
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***Bijou Hunter is the pseudonym of author Angela Horn.