Bye Bye Internal Censor! By Kinolaughs
A Twilight Fan Fiction Story
Summary
Edward REALLY wants to know what Bella's thinking. When Emmett and Alice dupe her into taking
something to open up, he finds out, but winds up revealing more about himself than he intended. A
bit OOC.
Sequel: Emergence of a pervert.
Chapter 1.
Everyone has their own internal censor that prevents them from saying some of the more
inappropriate things that pop into their heads. They edit their comments and half the time never
ask the questions that they mean to ask or voice the real emotions and thoughts that run through
their mind.
It was an interesting study in human nature at times to see the difference. Some people were as
kind as their thoughts. Angela Weber was a case in point for kindness. She often didn‟t have to edit
her thoughts much. When she did it was always out of concern for the feelings of others or a result
of her own insecurities. She was a nice girl.
Jessica Stanley on the other hand… was venomous. What she voiced proved that she was a skilled
manipulator, feigning friendship was her second nature. Her main concern was getting dirt on
people for her own perverse pleasure. I couldn‟t stand her.
Then there were some of the males at the school. Mike Newton in particular had some of the most
pornographic thoughts that I had ever had the misfortune of overhearing. He defined the horny
hormonal teenager. Oh he came across as being a nice supportive friend, but half the time when
he spoke to a girl he was mentally undressing her. Pervert.
After 90 some odd years of hearing what people thought and what they said I was an expert at
human nature. I could almost predict with perfect precision how a particular person would react to
a given situation. It was boring.
Bella shook all of that up for me. My quiet muse. Her silent mind both fascinated and tormented
me…and I loved her for it. I knew she edited her thoughts…she knew that doing so drove me mad.
She always said that she was glad I couldn‟t read her thoughts, she was convinced that she would
be as boring and mundane to me as all the others if I could. Silly girl. She really didn‟t see herself
clearly at all. I knew that she was different even without reading her mind. Selfless, brave, caring
those were the traits of my beautiful Bella. I was sure she has the odd errant thought that might
be embarrassing. Everyone did…I wished that she would share them with me.
Her ability to drive me nuts was a great source of entertainment to my brother Emmett. He liked
that she could keep me on my toes when no one else was able to. He also loved embarrassing
Bella. She was a never ending source of entertainment to him and had become in a short time a
beloved and cherished sister to him.
His brotherly adoration of her was frequently trumped by his more mischievous nature at times. All
part of the big brother role. That was how the most memorable day of my existence came about.
I was sitting with my Bella on the couch in the airy living room of our home watching a horror
movie that Emmett picked out. I was less than thrilled. I didn‟t want her to be frightened. Of
course, her day-to-day life ought to be frightening to her. She was sitting in a house full of
vampires, snuggled up as close as possible to one, and yet she was not afraid. I really didn‟t
understand her at all sometimes.
The horror film in question was truly sick. Instead of being about monsters it was about a sadistic
group of humans intent on torturing others. I really didn‟t understand the appeal. I could even tell
that Emmett was nauseated by the sadistic actions being portrayed in the film. It was repugnant.
Jasper sat in the recliner his face contorted into a look of disgust as he watched the carnage unfold
on the screen.
“Ugh Emmett! Can‟t we turn this garbage off?” Jasper complained.
“Definitely, whoever came up with this story line needs some serious therapy. What a sicko.”
Emmett gagged out.
I was grateful. I really didn‟t want to watch this crap anymore. That was when I was surprised by a
thought I picked up from Jasper. He had detected fear. From Bella. My brave Bella who spent a
good deal of time with her lips firmly plastered to a vampire was scared? Of a fake portrayal of
demented humans? Odd.
I couldn‟t stand not knowing. “What are you thinking?”
She looked up at me through her thick lashes and it was still evident in her eyes. The fear that
Jasper had detected. “Nothing much.”
Nothing much?
AAAAAA!!! She really loved to torture me didn‟t she?
“It must have been something, love. I can tell that you are frightened right now. Please tell me
what is on your mind?” I pleaded with her using my softest voice, the one I knew she couldn‟t
resist. It was a little unfair, but I really couldn‟t stand her verbal editing. Her mind fascinated me. I
had to know.
“Well,” she started, I could tell she would choose her words carefully, she always did when she
stared out a sentence that way, it drove me crazy. It meant more editing. “I just thought about
how something that horrible could be real. There are some pretty sick people out there, and
someone had the mind to think up everything in that movie. It‟s a little twisted. I guess that the
thought of people who think that way is a little scary.”
She was sitting in a room full of blood drinking vampires and she was scared that some human was
a little sick and twisted in the head? Emmett and Jasper were both trying to stifle their snickers at
the absurdity of the idea while I tried to wrap my mind around her convoluted thought processes.
“Edward?” she asked hesitantly. I realized then that I was staring at her stupidly, my mouth
slightly agape. I quickly adjusted my facial expression to something more soothing. She didn‟t
need me to stare at her like she was loony.
“I guess I will have to add protecting you from sadistic humans to my list.” I teased. Bella rolled
her eyes and sighed.
“That list is getting pretty long brother, no wonder she doesn‟t tell you what she‟s really thinking.
Can you imagine what you would be like if she did?” Emmett chortled. I glared at him and then I
saw his expression change to something more speculative. I knew that look. It wasn‟t good. I
listened into his thoughts and he smirked at me as pornographic images of Rosalie filled his head.
„EMMETT! Knock it off.” I gagged. I already had too many of those images burned into my brain
scarring me for the rest of my existence I didn‟t need any more!
Just then Alice flitted down the stairs and smiled widely at Emmett. She was reciting the
Gettysburg address in Swahili. This was bad. Very bad. What were they planning? I pulled Bella a
little closer to my side on the couch my protective instincts coming into play. I wasn‟t going to
allow them anywhere near her.
“Alice, what are you and Emmett planning?” I growled.
“Oh Edward you worry too much,” she scolded. “I just have to run out and get a surprise and I
thought Emmett could join me. Since this movie is such a flop perhaps we could find something a
little more suitable while we‟re out. What do you think Emmett?”
“We have plenty of movies here to choose from, I don‟t see why you need to get another one.” I
was really getting suspicious. Alice never asked Emmett to go shopping or run errands with her.
Something was up.
Before I could add any more protests they were out the door. Alice calling back over her shoulder
that they would pick up dinner for Bella on the way back. Both of them were still blocking their
thoughts from me making it impossible to guess what they were planning. I had a sinking feeling
as I looked over to Jasper who was studiously studying a piece of lint on his shirt.
“Jasper?” I looked meaningfully at him.
“Edward I‟m neither psychic or able to read minds. I honestly have no idea what they are up to.”
“But you can sense that they are up to something though.” I pressed.
“I don‟t think that it takes any special talent what-so-ever to deduce that.” His thoughts weren‟t
any help either.
Bella just looked out towards the door that Emmett and Alice had walked though her mouth turned
down at the corners and her brow furrowed in concentration. She was just as concerned as I was.
At this point there was nothing we could do about it so I lifted her up from the couch and took her
hand. Perhaps a walk would calm and distract us. I didn‟t want her to worry. I would be worrying
enough for the both of us.
****
When we got back to the house Alice and Emmett were already back movie and dinner in hand.
The smell of Bella‟s dinner wafted disgustingly through the house. Human food was truly repellent.
The only upside was watching her eat. I know it made her uncomfortable when I watched her eat,
but I just couldn‟t help myself. I wasn‟t sure if she understood my reason. Watching her mouth
move was just so sensual.
I didn‟t want Bella to think that I wasn‟t a gentleman, but God, I was a man and there were times
when I had a hard time controlling my fantasies about her. Fantasies that she didn‟t know about,
and I couldn‟t tell her.
I wondered if she thought about me that way at all. I think that she must because at night her
voice while dreaming sometimes took on an erotic husky tone. I could swear that one night she
outright moaned my name and I nearly came undone. I wished I could hear her dreams, her
fantasies, her thoughts. I wished she would stop editing and tell me everything she that passed
through that glorious mind of hers.
“Are you finished love?”
She nodded and I quickly cleared her dish from the table. Alice came dancing in and stopped at
Bella‟s side a positively wicked glint in her eye. Mentally she was going through her catalog of the
latest designs from the Spring fashion shows in New York. So she was still up to something. Damn
it.
“Was that okay Bella? I thought that your mentioned Italian food the other day?” Alice asked
solicitously.
“It was great Alice, thank you.” Bella mentioned.
“It looks like your soda is low, I‟ll get you a refill.”
“Thanks Alice. I„m really thirsty. I think they may have used extra salt in the pasta sauce. It was
good though. Thank you.” Alice never took that much interest in Bella‟s dinner. What the hell was
up?
Alice flitted over to the fridge and quickly refilled the glass for her. As Bella downed the coke
thirstily Alice sat down looking at her expectantly. She was practically bouncing up and down in her
chair.
“Alice you aren‟t planning on trying to play Bella Barbie tonight are you? I really don‟t want to get
all made up.” Bella pouted. Something was off. I couldn‟t quite put my finger on it. Bella seemed a
little different. I looked over at Alice who just had a big grin on her face.
Emmett came charging in to the kitchen and looked over at Alice who just nodded at him. He
turned and smiled at me.
“What have you two done?” I snarled at them. They were filling their minds with random useless
bits of trivia.
“Nothing that you need to worry about just yet Edward!” Emmett smiled at me. I just stood there
fuming, trying desperately to wrest the truth from their minds. Alice had refilled Bella‟s glass again
and Bella was downing the drink with alarming speed.
“Bella, love, perhaps you should slow down on the coke. You know you don‟t tolerate caffeine that
well.”
“I‟m just so thirsty and this tastes better than usual.” Bella‟s eyes stared to dilate a little more
while glazing over ever so slightly. Her drink!
I snatched her glass away and sniffed it. There was something wrong here. It didn‟t smell right.
“What the hell did you give her?” I was so mad that my vision was starting to haze over all red. I
began stalking my siblings across the kitchen. I was going to murder them…after they confessed to
what they had given Bella.
“Just a little something to help her communicate a little more honestly with you.” Emmett said. The
asshole was still smiling. I snarled in response. “It won‟t hurt her, she‟ll be fine, and you can get
honest answers to any question you ask her for the next couple of hours.”
I could see it now. Emmett had decided that it would be fun to give Bella a truth serum of sorts.
Something that would cause her to bare her thoughts free of editing, free of her internal censor.
How rude. How unforgivable to invade her mind in this manner. How tempting… Damn it Edward!
This was unacceptable!
Bella‟s silent thoughts were maddening, but it was wrong to drug her without her knowledge and
take away her control to decide what thoughts she would share. It was wrong. But somehow it was
also a dream come true.
I could almost see the little devil on one of my shoulders urging me on to ask every question I‟d
ever dreamed of, picking her tantalizing secrets from her mind. The angel on my other shoulder
had apparently been bound and gagged and glared at me dumbfounded by my sudden selfish glee.
I couldn‟t let Emmett and Alice know that I was going to indulge in this evil little prank of theirs. I
would have to keep up my pretense of being angry.
“I can‟t believe that you did this to her. Have you no boundaries?” I glowered at them hoping that I
had faked enough righteous indignation and rage into my voice.
“Edward, I thought that this would be something you would enjoy.” Alice responded quietly. I know
I saw him asking her questions if Emmett did this. I know I saw him enjoying the open access to
her mind. Was my vision wrong? Aha! I was convincing.
“I don‟t see how I could possibly enjoy my fiancée being subjected to an uninvited intrusion on her
private thoughts! I think that she should have some alone time to recover from the effects of the
drug you so unceremoniously duped her into taking. Perhaps you and Emmett could take the
others out for a small hunt while I ascertain Bella‟s condition.” I said pompously. Yes I wanted to
be alone with her when I started delving into the suddenly open fount of her mind. Thank God
none of them knew my thoughts.
“Of course Edward.” Alice muttered as she grabbed Emmett and they shuffled guiltily out of the
room. Now I would just need to wait until they were out of hearing range with the others.
Hmmm….how to play this up a little more?
“Bella my love are you alright?” I asked solicitously as I rubbed her back. She looked up at me with
her eyes glazed over, her pupils dilated.
“I feel a little funky.”
“Oh, I am so sorry Bella, I can‟t believe Alice and Emmett did this to you. Perhaps you would like to
go upstairs to my room and rest until the drug wears off?” I could hear my family running through
the woods away from the house. Ha! Almost time.
“Only if your going to roll around on the bed with me again.”
What? Did that forward comment just come out of Bella‟s mouth? I grinned in anticipation. That
was a quick reaction time. Hmmmm…the family was far enough away now I couldn‟t even hear
their thoughts. Time to begin.
“Do you like rolling around on the bed love?” Oh this was going to be good. I could feel the little
devil on my shoulder rubbing his hands together in anticipation.
“Yes, but you always end it too soon. I swear I don‟t think I affect you at all. It isn‟t fair.” She
thought that she didn‟t have any effect on me? I knew she didn‟t see herself very clearly. What was
she thinking? Oh! Wait! I can ask her what she is thinking!
“Why do you think that?”
“Well, you have your glorious perfection, I‟m just clumsy and plain. Plus I‟ve never felt you
respond.” Huh? Did she NOT notice me kissing her back all those times?
“How can you say I don‟t respond to you?”
“Shouldn‟t I have felt you on my leg or something if you were. I don‟t know much about vampire
anatomy but you did tell me you were a man. I mean you have a penis right?” She wanted to talk
about the male parts of my anatomy? Erk.
“Of course I do Bella don‟t be silly.” What did she think I had down there? I wasn‟t some neutered
Ken doll for crying out loud! “I can‟t believe you would think that I don‟t.”
“Well I‟ve never felt you get hard. Oh God! Do you have „erectile dysfunction‟? Cause I don‟t think
that the little blue pill works with vampires.” WHAT THE HELL?
“Erectile dysfunction?” I choked out. “Bella! I do not have that problem at all. Just because I
restrain myself from acting on my baser instincts when we are together it doesn‟t mean that I have
a problem. I assure you I am fully functional.” I was incredulous. I cannot believe that the love of
my life just questioned my sexual prowess! I wanted to scream at the insinuation or crawl into a
hole and hide. I wasn‟t sure which instinct was stronger at the moment.
“How do you know that you are fully functional? You said you were a virgin-oh-OH! Have
you…um…test driven the equipment yourself?” Oh dear lord. Please tell me that Bella did not just
ask me if I masturbated. If only she knew. I was really glad that I couldn‟t blush. My face would
have caught on fire from the heat of my embarrassment if I could.
This encounter was going horribly wrong. I was supposed to be unlocking her secrets not sit here
subjected to the worst line of questioning I had experienced in my over 100 years of existence. But
I guess that was my Bella, she always kept me on my toes.
Time to turn the tables though. I had to steer the conversation to a safer topic though. Any more
talk of my masculinity and I might do the impossible and faint… or show her just how much of a
man I really was right there on the kitchen table. Hmmmm… time to win back some of my
bravado.
Where to start?
“Why love, I can‟t believe that you just asked me that. Is that something that you‟ve done yourself
perhaps?” I winked at her trying to maintain my calm. Hmmm… the idea of Bella……so arousing.
Don‟t go there Edward you‟re being rude and your self control is about to snap.
She blushed the darkest crimson I have ever seen and stuttered. “I…I…uh…” I leaned in and kissed
her quickly hoping to distract her from her embarrassment. I felt a little guilty too, she was just
rambling the thoughts that would normally be kept locked up tight, I had no such excuse for my
line of questioning.
She seemed distracted by the kiss and leaned into me as I broke contact.
“Too soon.” she muttered grumpily.
“What‟s too soon, love?”
“You always pull away too soon when you kiss me, and then I feel like I‟m a little empty without
the contact.”
“I feel it too.”
“I doubt that.” She doubted that my need for her matched her need for me. Infuriating. I was
positive my desire, my need for her was so much more magnified than any ache her human body
could hold for me. A human body couldn‟t hold this much desire, It would, as she had so eloquently
put it before, spontaneously combust with the force of the emotion.
“Bella, you have no idea.”
“You keep saying that. If I have no idea than please tell me Edward what am I missing here? I kiss
you and you pull away. I look in your eyes and I get caught up in them, you just chuckle at me. I
feel pulled to you, but every time I get close you pull away and it really seems like it‟s nothing at
all to you. I know it can‟t be the same, you talk about my human hormones like they are pitiable so
obviously it isn‟t the same for you.”
That had to be one of the longest rants I‟d heard out her in quite some time. She really had no
idea when I thought that I was so obvious in my desire for her. God, we were getting married, we
both really needed to work on our communication.
I took a deep unnecessary breath. I had to open up to her.
“Bella, I keep thinking I‟m so obvious with regards to my feelings for you. I try to reign myself in
because I don‟t want to scare you but you need to understand that vampires, myself included, feel
emotions and physical sensations very intensely. I don‟t want to scare you love, but I can‟t have
you questioning my desire for you any longer.”
At this she tilted head to the side and looked at me questions raging behind her large brown eyes.
Well I guess she really did want to hear this.
“When you kiss me it feels like my heart is about to beat again, I have to struggle to keep my
hands from grabbing you and exploring every inch of your body. The slightest touch of your skin
leaves me tingling and burning with desire for you. Make no mistake here Bella. I‟m not talking
about a desire for your blood…the desire is for your body.”
“You ARE my mate. I have to struggle constantly to keep from grabbing you and taking you. My
body is screaming at me to make you mine. I have to pull away to keep myself from ripping your
clothes off and mating with you. Even if I could continue to be a gentleman and not cross that line
as the animal in me takes over, I can‟t control my body‟s physical response to you. I‟ve kept you
from feeling what you do to me because I worry that you will be repulsed if you knew just how you
affect certain parts of my anatomy and just how often.”
Bella‟s jaw hung open and I was terrified that I had told her too much. But damn it she was going
to be my wife and mate. She had to know.
“Say something, please love.” I begged her.
“Wow.”
“I just confessed to wanting to violate you on a regular basis and all you can say is wow?”
“It‟s just that right now…you saying all of that…really turned me on.” She blushed furiously biting
her lip and looking down.
I turned her on with my ranting. God could I love this woman any more?
Chapter 2.
Bella was excited by my confession! Even though her eyes were still glazed and her pupils dilated
from the drugs in her drink, the lust behind them could clearly be made out.
Her excitement fueled my own and I wanted nothing more than to have her at that exact moment.
Control Edward…..but surely one kiss wouldn‟t hurt right? I couldn‟t help myself, I had to feel her
warm pliant lips against mine. There was nothing in the world that could compare.
I leaned in closer, the kiss I had given her a moment before was to distract her. This kiss was
different. It was born of my want and need for her, she truly was intoxicating. As I neared her lips,
I could feel her warmth crashing against my body in waves, and her scent clouded my mind. The
venom that used to pool in my mouth at this point was now nonexistent. Instead the reaction to
her came from slightly lower in my anatomy.
I pressed my lips to hers a little more roughly than I should have, and couldn‟t help but smile a
little at the gasp that my increased fervor elicited from her. I noticed after a few moments of this
ecstasy that she had stopped breathing. I internally grumbled at the thought that the night
wouldn‟t go very well if she was unconscious for it. I still had more questions to ask, important
ones at that.
I broke away from the kiss and moved my lips to her jaw, not quite ready to leave the fantastic
physical sensation of her skin yielding to me. As I traveled closer to the hollow of her ear she
sighed.
“You‟re kisses are so different from Jacob‟s.” she murmured.
My mood went from ecstasy to unbridled jealousy in an instant. I could feel the little devil on my
shoulder glaring at her and tapping his foot impatiently. How could she be thinking of that mongrel
right now? Was she wishing that it was his lips instead of mine? Did she regret her decision to stay
with me? Perhaps I deserved that after my less than chivalrous questioning. I felt a wave of self
loathing crash over me completely drowning out the previous euphoria that I had been temporarily
cocooned in.
“Jacob?” I quietly asked her trying to hide my hurt. I hoped that just the question of his name
would be enough to pull the answers from her. I couldn‟t form any other words at that point,
worried instead that they would come out as sobs and belie my internal turmoil.
“Hmmmm” was all the response I received. I managed to unfreeze my face enough to raise an
eyebrow at her letting her know that she would need to continue.
“Oh! Did I say that out loud?” she gasped. I nodded in response still unable to form words.
“Oops. Well I didn‟t mean to.” That was obvious. I can‟t imagine anyone meaning to bring up a
hated rival‟s name to the person that they supposedly loved while caught up in an intimate
embrace. “It‟s just that your kisses are so cool and gentle, chaste even. When he forced his mouth
on me it was hot and demanding. It‟s weird that while he was trying to force passion on me I could
never feel much in response, and yet with one tiny brush of your lips I feel like I‟m on fire.”
I felt a little mollified. I still hated that she mentioned the dog while I was kissing her, but at least I
knew that her reactions to me were passionate.
“Do you prefer the heat or the cold?” I still felt the need for reassurance.
“Cold, definitely. But I wouldn‟t mind a little more passion behind it.” She blushed a bit at her
confession, the sight of her pink cheeks driving me wild.
“I would love to give that to you. If I could kiss you with all of the passion I had in me right now
though….” I couldn‟t finish the thought. I knew exactly what would happen. I would crush her with
the intensity of my desire.
Bella nodded in understanding. “When I‟m less breakable, right?”
I leaned over and cupped her cheek. “Yes, love.” I kissed her softly one more time.
“You taste so sweet.” Ugh. While it was nice that she found any part of me appealing I didn‟t like
the fact that my venom was a flavor she craved like candy. It reminded me of the risks that I was
taking every time I touched her. I was so selfish. But I‟d already decided that I might as well enjoy
my trip to hell since it seemed inevitable at this point.
“Does all of you taste sweet?” What? What part of me could she be referring to? Then I noticed her
gaze. She was staring at my crotch! Ungh. I couldn‟t imagine my innocent Bella ever doing
something like that. But now that the idea had been planted in my head…..don‟t go there Edward!
Even though I clearly knew what she was talking about at this point, I couldn‟t help but want to
have a little fun with this.
“What part of me are you referring to?” I asked as innocently as possible, as if was truly clueless.
“Well you said you were fully functional…do you ….you know?” she stammered.
“Do I what?”
“Ummm…ejaculate?” She was beet red. I felt a little guilty, but I was really shocked to discover
what a dirty little mind my Bella had. It was enticing to say the least. Of course I had to be careful
with this question. If I responded yes, she would want to know when that had happened to me and
I didn‟t want to reveal my perverted little daydreams about her. They would shock her. I decided to
keep it somewhat clinical.
“Vampires have many fluids that are similar to the human counterparts. That is one of them.” I
was glad again that I couldn‟t blush, talking about sexual functioning wasn‟t something I was
raised to do. No one talked about that when I was a human. It was a taboo subject, and even
though I had attended countless high school classes on sex-ed over the decades I still couldn‟t
quite get over my prudish trepidation. I knew that once I was married to her that would need to
change and quickly.
“How similar is it?” Why would she wonder that? It wasn‟t like she would have any experience with
the human counterpoint.
“Fairly. Why do you want to know?” I couldn‟t see what possible importance this could have. Again,
Bella always kept me guessing.
“Well…does it contain…swimmers?”
“Swimmers?” I snickered at her juvenile terminology. This was the one area that Bella was a bit
like other teenagers, using silly words because of embarrassment over clinical names.
“You know what I mean Edward.” She was blushing more deeply now. I should have seen where
this discussion was headed, but sadly I was too immersed in the ridiculousness of it all to
comprehend in time.
“Yes. Vampire semen does contain sperm. Why?”
“Did you look at it under a microscope or something?” What a weird question. Carlisle was a doctor
with an insatiable curiosity for all things anatomical. He‟d studied our nature thoroughly…of course
recently he‟d begun to study the nature of the Quileute shape shifters too. A subject that didn‟t sit
too well with me.
“With Carlisle‟s medical knowledge and curiosity he has done some rather in depth studies.” Bella‟s
eyes widened.
“Oh…did you….um….provide the sample?” I hope she wasn‟t asking if I had jacked off into a cup for
scientific purposes.
“No.” I wasn‟t even going there with her. I needed this topic closed immediately. “Why are you
curious about this?”
“Well you said that vampires couldn‟t procreate. I was surprised that there would be sperm.
Shouldn‟t you be able to have children then?”
This was a tough question and brought up many of the fears I had about our relationship. How did
I explain to her that upon becoming a vampire her body would never change and she wouldn‟t be
able to conceive? Especially when I knew that if she stayed human, that was a path her life could
take. A path it could take with him. The jealousy seared through my dead veins again.
“Bella. I won‟t be able to give you children, female vampires do not have the capacity to conceive
and carry a baby to term. Their bodies don‟t change. If you stay human, I know that Jacob can
give you children. Is that what you want?” The hollow feeling I‟d had in my chest during the
months of our separation threatened it‟s return. It hung over me ominously dangling by a thread
awaiting her response.
Bella snorted. Snorted? This was a serious topic. It was the one of the main things that I thought
would tear us apart and cause her to hate me after she was changed.
“That is so not going to happen.” she laughed. “Do you think that his kids would be born with fur
and a tail? Like wolf babies or something. I could just imaging having a litter. No thanks.”
“Bella, how can you shrug off the idea of having children so easily?” The sterility that came with
vampiric life was a contact heartache for my mother and sister.
“I‟ve already raised a mother. Besides, if I can‟t have your babies, I don‟t want any.” Was I really
more important to her than anything else? I both thrilled at the idea and hated myself for it. Maybe
I really was bipolar. “You still didn‟t answer the first question though…is it sweet?”
“I wouldn‟t know.” This was really getting disgusting. How would she think that I had an answer for
that? It wasn‟t something that was in my realm of experience and I sure as hell wasn‟t about to
ask my sister. That would lead to mental pictures being sent my way that would make me want to
hurl. Yuck! Hmmmm….but maybe one day I‟d let Bella find out for herself.
Stop being perverted Edward, you can‟t go there…..yet!
I really needed to find a new topic of conversation, everything seemed to be boiling down to sex.
Whose fault was this? Well, I already knew my Bella was very interested, and quite possibly a little
desperate.
I was beginning to wonder if my tempting little angel was really a tempting little nympho. After all,
she‟d begun asking about the possibilities of us becoming intimate on our first date. As mildly
disturbing as that was at the time, I shamefully had to admit that the idea of her having a super
charged sex drive was rather thrilling now.
“Bella, you seem to have a one track mind tonight. How often do you think about us being together
like that?”
“All the time.” She blurted out without thinking.
“Really?” Score one for Edward. The little devil on my shoulder was doing a happy dance! If only I
didn‟t have to worry about crushing her. It was ironic that right now, when she wanted me the
most, I had to worry about crushing her to death or losing it completely and sucking her dry. When
she would be less breakable, when I could give in to my desires, for a long time the thirst would be
what mattered most.
I made a silent selfish prayer at that moment to the universe. If personality traits could be brought
over and magnified in the transformation, please let horniness be one of hers. That was so wrong
of me, but I was a perpetual teenager. I couldn‟t completely help myself.
Chapter 3.
Bella wanted me…all of the time. I couldn‟t stop the grin that spread across my face when she
admitted that. Granted, it wasn‟t the best thing in the world for her, it was actually probably the
worst thing she could want. But, despite all that I was selfish enough that the idea of her
unwavering desire for me had me floating on a cloud, my ego inflated higher than ever before.
My own reaction, the thrill I felt at her words, surprised me to. I had spent decades having to listen
to the perverted thoughts of females when they saw me. I knew that to my prey I was physically
attractive, and I‟d been on the receiving end of some truly detailed fantasies, but I had always
been disgusted by them.
Upon matriculating into Forks high school the thoughts of Jessica Stanley in particular had caused
me no small measure of discomfort. I had spent my first few months inwardly cringing at all the
dirty things that ran through that trollop‟s mind. Odd now that the idea of Bella perhaps fantasizing
about me in that manner caused such a different reaction in me….I was enticed, enamored, and
hell was I aroused by it. I wish I could see her fantasies for myself.
It was a question that I really wanted to ask her….would I be able to maintain my self control if I
heard the answer? Could her fantasies be even more erotic than mine?
The little devil on my shoulder leaned against me nudging me and winking at her. She was staring
at my chest, openly ogling me while biting her lower lip. God did I want to let go of everything and
bite that lip for her….too dangerous Edward!
It was unforgivably rude to want to intrude on this part of her mind. There was also another
problem to contend with. Alice. So far our conversation had been pretty vulgar, but I‟d been careful
not to make it look like I was openly firing questions at her. To be truthful, if anything Bella had
been gaining an upper hand on me ever since Alice and Emmett implemented their wicked little
stunt.
But if I wanted to delve further into her mind I was going to surely risk discovery by my omniscient
sister. How to proceed? After the lecture I‟d given her and my brother she would surely rat me out
in a heart beat once I got going on this. I could choose to just let the chips fall where they may
and face the consequences….or I could attempt to buy her silence. I really was turning into a
complete degenerate.
I grabbed a slip of paper and thought hard about my sister before quickly scratching out a note
that I hoped she would „see‟. It was a little unfair of me, I offered her a few shopping trips and
Bella Barbie sessions. Perhaps I could find a way to work that to my advantage.
Alice did always dress her up beautifully, and although her flawless skin never required makeup,
my sister had a way of bringing out her beauty to surreal levels. Just the thought of the way she
had looked when I took her to prom….that stiletto tied with ribbons around her naked ankle….the
way the shoe had accentuated the delicious lines of her leg….ungh.
“What are you writing?” Bella asked.
“Just a quick note.” I wasn‟t about to admit that I was offering her up as an appeasement to my
undoubtedly irked sibling.
“Obviously, but why?” she demanded, looking at me a little petulantly. Even annoyed my Bella was
beautiful.
“I just remembered something I had to do for Alice. I wrote it down so I wouldn‟t forget.” I flashed
a grin and looked at her through my eyelashes. That usually did the trick.
“Vampires never forget Edward.” Her glazed over eyes narrowed at me. Why did my love always
have to be so observant? I had been trying to dazzle her. It was cheating, but I was ready to take
the upper hand and get in any advantage I could. Fortunately now that I knew she truly had a one
track mind I could use that knowledge to distract her.
I leaned in for another kiss hoping that this one would go better than the last. As I pressed my lips
against hers I could hear her heart accelerate and her breathing hitch. I increased the pressure of
my lips on her infinitesimally, I had to be careful not to leave a bruise. As she melted into my kiss I
opened my lips slightly and sighed into her mouth allowing the venom flavored air enter her. Again
it was a dirty trick, since I knew that I was essentially stunning her, but I enjoyed it immensely.
When I broke away from the kiss her drugged eyes looked heavy and dazed.
“What were we talking about?” she asked. I tried to stifle the chuckle that threatened to escape,
pleased with my success.
“You mentioned something about a fantasy you had about me.” I lied. After everything I had been
subjected to in the short while that we had been talking I didn‟t really feel the need to act as
honorably as I should.
“I did?” she squeaked, her eyes popping open wide in astonishment.
“Yes love. I would really like to hear all about it.” You bet I would! The raging horny seventeen
year old that I kept under lock and key was suddenly coming out to play, I HAD to hear this! I‟m
not quite sure how it had happened but my gentlemanly demeanor seemed to be slipping away
rapidly. Good lord soon I‟d be asking her to play make out games in the closet if I wasn‟t careful!
“Which one?” There was more than one? I shivered in anticipation. I quickly had to think of a way
to guide this conversation without making it obvious that I had tricked her. Then like a ray from
the heavens above it came to me. Surely she had thought about our wedding night, right?
I inched closer to her, keeping her face tantalizingly close to mine. “I think it had something to do
with me keeping my end of our bargain.” I breathed.
“Oh yes.” She sighed coming closer to me. Here it comes! “Well, the location changes since you
won‟t tell me where we are going, but where doesn‟t really matter. I think about the way it will feel
when you finally touch me. How your hands will feel on my skin. I‟ve wondered what it will be like
to have your naked body pressed against mine, what it will be like to be pinned underneath you as
you take me.”
I snapped at that point as dozens of erotic images filled my head. I had lost all ability to control
what came out of my mouth.
“Do you think about that when your going to sleep in my arms? Or, maybe when your in the
shower?” I had to know. Just the thought of those scenes playing in her mind while she was
snuggled up close to my cold frame was a powerful aphrodisiac to me. I had unwittingly dropped a
key to one of my own fantasies when I mentioned the shower to her. Having to sit in her room
waiting for her at night, listening with my acute hearing as drop after drop of water audibly dripped
down her luscious form was sheer torture.
Hmmmm….one of the first things I needed to after we were married was join her in there. My
breathing was ragged at this point, my desires threatening to overwhelm me, my fingers trembled
with my barely restrained passion as I traced her cheek waiting for the answer that might be the
utter undoing of my self control.
“No. Usually I think about it when Alice has me peeled down to my underwear for a dress fitting.”
she blurted out. HUH? She filled her mind with erotic thoughts of us intimately entwined while she
was trying on clothes with my sister? That wasn‟t what I was expecting at all. I stood there, inches
from her, dumbfounded. The little devil on my shoulder mirrored my expression, head tiled to the
side, and mouth slightly agape.
“E-Edward?” she asked. I was still stunned. Her ability to alter my moods in an instant was
overwhelming, all I could do was continue to stare at her.
Bella shuffled her feet, her face blushing furiously and it looked like she might be starting to tear
up a little. The heartbreaking expression on her face is what finally snapped me out of my frozen
state.
“Why do you think about that when you‟re with Alice?”
“Well she tells me that I need to go to my happy place when I‟m going through getting pinned and
fit.” she mumbled. “I..I shouldn‟t have told you that. I know that me thinking about us like that
upsets you.”
She thought that her fantasies upset me? I really had been unfair to her in my attempts at reigning
in my carnal needs if I left her believing that. “Bella, I like that you think those things, never doubt
that.”
She lifted her drugged gaze to me, her eyes widened with shock and gasped. “You do?”
“Very much,“ I admitted as I leaned in and allowed myself to give her a predatory look. Bella
swallowed hard and her eyes darkened slightly as she took me in.
“Why did you ask about the shower?” She caught that? Damn it! Well apparently her powers of
observation hadn‟t been impacted by the chemical cocktail she‟d ingested. Perhaps if I played
dumb I could distract her.
“Hmmm?”
“You asked me if I fantasized about you while I was in the shower? You didn‟t ask about in the
meadow, or in the car, or when you play piano. Why the shower Edward?” She was smirking at me
somewhat seductively. She knew! I guess I would have to come clean on this one.
“Well,” I swallowed loudly, unable to hide my nervousness. “I‟ve waited for you while you‟ve been
in the shower, and I suppose it‟s only normal for my thoughts to drift.”
“Where do your thoughts take you?” God, was she really going to make me spell this out for her?
“Um, in the shower with you?” She looked at me raising an eyebrow quizzically letting me know
that I would need to continue. “Fine, I can hear the water hitting your skin and I have to fight the
urge to run in there and jump in the shower with you and …have you up against the tiles.” I can‟t
believe I just said that out loud. If my mother could have heard me speak that way to a lady….I
shudder to think.
I needed to regain some control over this situation, but then I realized that in asking me about the
shower, she had named some other interesting locations. The meadow I could understand, but the
car, and the piano…..had I missed something there?
“So, should I have asked you about the car and the piano love?”
“Ummm…what about them?” she asked nervously trying to look away. Oh, there was definitely
something there alright.
“I think you know Bella. Do some of your fantasies involve the car or the piano perhaps?”
“Yes.” she squeaked. Perhaps I should try more open ended questions….. I suppose I would need
to pick one.
“What do you want me to do to you when we‟re at the piano?”
“It‟s just that watching your fingers stroke the keys, so skillfully, so lovingly. You have beautiful
hands. I used to think about ways that you could touch me like you do the keys of the piano.” I
was pretty sure that my fingers could very adeptly play the fine instrument that was Bella‟s body.
Wait a minute…..used to?
“You said used to, does that mean you don‟t think about that anymore?”
“Well, Emmett kind of ruined it for me.” What the hell could Emmett have to do with anything?
“How did he do that?”
“Um…he was trying to embarrass me the other day and he said something about how I was sitting
on the exact spot on the piano bench where he and Rosalie…you know. I really hope that they
didn„t leave anything behind that I might have sat in.” She had a disgusted look on her face as she
told me about my brothers little escapade…an escapade that had befouled my favorite possession.
I was going to murder him.
As I tried to rein in my ire, I noticed that Bella was looking at me contemplatively, and she was
biting her lower lip again. She had no idea what it did to me when she pressed her teeth against
that succulent bit of flesh. What on earth could that girl be thinking now? Hmmmm….had she
changed her mind about the piano fantasy being ruined for her…..perhaps I could make that one
come true sooner rather than later…..this isn‟t the time Edward!
I had to distract myself otherwise she would be in danger of me tearing her clothes off with the
way my mind was working right now. I had to think of a distasteful enough subject to get my mind
off the current….predicament I had going on in my pants. Ah, I could think of thing that would kill
my arousal instantly.
“Tell me what you really think of Mike Newton.”
Chapter 4.
Mike Newton. The odious boy who had spent many an hour fantasizing about the girl who was the
center of my existence, whose perverted thoughts about her made me want to smack his lecherous
face so hard that he would go sailing across the room. I wasn‟t sure I could count all the times I
imagined the sounds his bones would make as they shattered upon contact with my fist….not the
time to dwell Edward!
Well at least I was less sexually aroused now. I could remember with perfect clarity all of the
detailed and descriptive things that ran through his shallow little pool of a mind. Truthfully, some of
the same things had run through mine, but it was different--she belonged to me.
I still found myself racked with nervousness as I awaited her response. While Jacob could give her
children, or wolf babies as she had so humorously put it, Mike and other human males like him
could give her human children. They could give her a normal life free of the supernatural. They
could grow old with her.
It wasn‟t Mike per say that I was most concerned with, it was what he represented. He was the
best stand in, being one of the most annoyingly persistent of my rivals, and someone who for
unfathomable reasons she considered a friend.
“Mike Newton?” She asked while looking at me a little funny. “I thought you knew what I thought
of him?”
“Humor me.” I was going to be persistent on this point.
“Well, he‟s a little hard to explain. He‟s annoying as heck, and never seems to give up on the idea
that I don‟t want to date him. At the same time he was one of the only people who stood by me
when…” she trailed off. There was no need for her to continue that thought.
When I stupidly removed myself from her life Mike Newton continued to hang around offering her
friendship. I think the thought comforted her, and I didn‟t have the heart to tell her that he stuck
around hoping for a rebound screw. As repugnant as he was with his motivations he had convinced
her of his friendship and should I say anything about it I would undoubtedly come across as a
controlling jealous freak.
“Did you ever for a moment consider him?” I had to know if there was any glimmer, any flicker of
an attraction there.
“No. I told you, I never felt about anyone the way I felt about you when we met.” When we met? I
shouldn‟t let that get around, otherwise other boys would glare at her like they wanted to commit
murder in order to get her attention.
“I still find it hard to believe that you never found a single human male appealing.” I could sense
some danger here.
The little angel that had been bound and gagged chose to make himself heard at this time he said,
“Mhmm mff mgrrmmm mm.” I couldn‟t really make out what he meant by that, his opinion
obviously hadn‟t counted for much tonight anyway so I chose to ignore him.
“Apparently humans aren‟t my thing.” she said seductively. Did that mean that she found others of
my kind appealing? Was I just the closest available vampire without a mate? I felt a little uneasy.
Was this the reason she had been so reluctant to accept my marriage proposal? Could it be that
she wanted immortality, and not me?
“So non-humans are?” I asked trying not to let my fears creep into my voice.
“Obviously.” What did that mean? Good god…..could she be lusting after my brothers perhaps?
“Do you mind clarifying that for me?”
“You aren‟t human,” she stated plainly waving her index finger between us.
“I know that.” I glowered. “But, the way you put it makes me wonder…”
“What?” she asked tilting her head to the side.
“Well,” I gulped, “have you found others of my kind appealing?” I had a hard enough time dealing
with the mortal rivals, but her draw to the supernatural seemed to give me an advantage. If she
found the others like me appealing, could she, would she, ever find herself with one of them
instead? I could fight for her but it wouldn‟t be as easy as smacking them across a room if they
irked me.
“So far I haven‟t seen a vampire that wasn‟t beautiful, but that isn‟t exactly the same thing.” I tried
to unclench my fists and remain calm. Deep breaths Edward. In, out, in, out. Crap. Now I was
reduced to deep breathing exercises. I might as well get a yoga mat out and start doing downward
facing dog in front of her. Hmmm….or maybe she could do it in front of me….the view would be
quite nice.
Stop thinking about her ass Edward!
“Bella do you find yourself attracted to my family members?” I shouted out without thinking.
Bella looked horrified. Oops. I think I might have offended my darling angel. Her face turned red,
yet again, but this time it wasn‟t out of embarrassment. Bella was angry. Oh no.
“How can you possibly think that?” she hissed. “Do you have such a low opinion of me?”
I was in the proverbial doghouse now. I didn‟t suppose that I could talk my way out of this one
very easily. I could try stunning her again, but then I wouldn‟t get my question answered. Granted,
the level of hostility she was displaying now ought to be answer enough. But I needed to hear it.
“You just said that you found us all beautiful….” I stammered.
“Well, I think that Lauren is technically beautiful, but she‟s a bitch and I don‟t swing that way. Are
your family members beautiful? Duh Edward! You‟ve heard all the thoughts of the kids and school
and everywhere else you go, you know they are. But that doesn‟t mean that I want them!”
“Emmett‟s like the big brother I always wanted only more obnoxious and Jasper….well he freaks
me out a bit, but Alice loves him so I make an effort not to worry about him trying to eat me. As
for Carlisle…he‟s like your Dad…ewwww!”
Well I guess I had my reassurance, but at what cost? Bella was fuming now. If she was a cartoon
character this would be the point where steam might come rolling out of her ears. The devil who
had been guiding my actions thus far placed both hands over his genitals as if he were concerned
about a well placed kick landing there.
“Sorry.” I mumbled tried to regain my composure.
“What is with you Edward? How can you be so concerned? I can‟t believe you asked me that…and I
can‟t believe you asked about Mike a minute ago, he‟s been nothing but a good friend to me.”
Newton‟s name had the rather unfortunate effect of setting me off again, and I lost the ability to
censor what came out of my mouth.
“That‟s only because he wants to do you up the ass!” I clamped my hand over my mouth but it was
too late. One of Mike‟s perverted fantasies had slipped out. Maybe now she would understand my
loathing for him, perhaps even share it.
I hoped that she wouldn‟t be too angry with me. She would hate me now I know it. I mentally
prepared myself for anguish, sure that she would see what a reprehensible being I was.
Bella‟s face paled and her glazed eyes widened, her jaw dropped slightly at my revelation.
“Really?” she gasped. I nodded in response, ready for any verbal chastisement she would dish out.
“That‟s gross.” I nodded again in the acknowledgement that there were other places on a woman‟s
body that would be infinitely more enjoyable. Hmmm…..how much longer till the wedding? Don‟t
get your hopes up Edward!
“I‟m sorry love. I shouldn‟t have told you that.” I said bashfully looking up at her though my
eyelashes. I hoped that I had successfully used my remorseful facial expression in such a way that
it would manipulate her into instant forgiveness.
Her face softened and she reached out a hand to caress my cheek. Ha! It worked. I leaned into her
and breathed deeply enjoying the feel of her skin against mine.
“I‟m not mad that you told me about Mike,” she said. My heart nearly began to beat again with her
reassurance. “But I am curious. What else does he think about?”
I didn‟t want to have to relive his disgusting fantasies about her. Besides the fact that I tried to
safeguard people‟s private information, I wasn‟t sure I could form the words. It wasn‟t
gentlemanly…of course I wasn‟t exactly being a gentleman tonight anyway, was I?
“It wouldn‟t feel right to discuss other people‟s private thoughts, even if they are vile.” I didn‟t
want her to think that I couldn‟t be trusted, I wanted her trust more than anything. But how could
I prove myself worthy of it if I violated the secrets of others?
Bella snuggled up against my chest and placed a light kiss along my jaw line. Her eyelashes
fluttered as she held me captive in her deep chocolate orbs. “Please?” she breathed. “Please,
Edward? I won‟t tell anyone else.”
She was truly a dangerous creature. She knew that I couldn‟t resist her when she pleaded with me
like that. Hmmm…I wonder if she would plead with me like that when she was under me…..wrong
train of thought Edward!
She was asking me to trust her. Granted it was with someone else‟s secrets, but she was asking for
a bond, one that I had requested from her time and time again. How could I refuse? She was the
love of my existence, Newton was an obnoxious pile of filth that should be left to fester on a
midden heap. The little devil on my shoulder waved his hand out flamboyantly for me to proceed.
I knew the moment she said please I would give in. Since my disgust with Mike Newton was at an
all time high, I thought it best to go with the more outlandish of his fantasies.
“Well, I‟m not sure how you‟ll take this and stop me if it gets to distressing for you,” I began. I
waited a minute for Bella to nod her agreement to my condition. “You know how he is um….rather
attached to his family?” Bella nodded again. “He really isn‟t going to ever cut the proverbial apron
strings, and I‟m afraid that who ever winds up with him will have to enjoy playing the „mommy‟
role for him.”
Bella quirked one of her eyebrows up clearly confused. I was going to have to tell her more
specifically. I didn‟t want to get into how he had time and time again placed her in the „mommy‟
role for this particular fantasy, but I would need to explain.
“Paraphilic infantilism.” I stated clinically.
“And what is that?
I cleared my throat, glad that I couldn‟t blush while discussing this particular topic with her. “Well,
it involves diapers, pacifiers, he has a rather nice June Cleaveresque ensemble in mind for you,
need I go on?”
Bella‟s eyes bugged out of her head, she was clearly shocked. “Please don‟t.”
“There‟s a reason I don‟t like to talk about the things I overhear in people‟s minds.”
“I can see why.” She was looking at the countertop a little uncomfortably and fidgeting.
“Bella, I shouldn‟t have told you.” I felt a little guilty, not for Newton‟s sake obviously, but for
causing Bella discomfort.
“It‟s okay. I‟m sure you‟ve seen a lot of things. You‟ve „seen‟ a lot of sex too haven‟t you?” This
was an uncomfortable topic for me. While I was not a voyeur or a peeping tom, and I did not enjoy
the things I had seen in the minds of others, the truth of the matter was that after 90 years in this
existence I could graphically rewrite every sex manual ever written. I had a whole litany of things
mapped out that I would like to explore with her.
“Not by choice. I don„t want these images being shown to me.” I wanted her to understand that I
hadn‟t sought these thoughts out. I was worried that she would regard me as something „dirty‟ now
that she understood some of the implications of my abilities. My inner seventeen year old at that
point made a silent sleazy remark about how he wouldn‟t mind her scrubbing us down to make us
„clean‟ again. I tried unsuccessfully to shut him up.
Bella smirked at me then. “Oh. I wonder, if the situation was reversed and you had a choice what
would you show me?” she asked as she trailed a finger seductively down my lips.
“Believe me Bella, when I‟m with you all I want to show you is that I am a man.”
Chapter 5.
When I told Bella that I wanted to show her I was a man it had an instant effect on her. I could tell
by the way her glazed over eyes darkened slightly and….erm….well…let‟s just say I have a very
good sense of smell. Ahem.
Although the physical evidence of her desire was apparent, I still wasn„t prepared for her reaction.
Bella jumped up and forcefully began to kiss me, her hand gripped the back of my neck and the
other began pulling on my hair. I was caught in quite a conundrum.
My inner seventeen year old was screaming, „Yeah, baby!‟ to the hoots and cheers of the devil on
my shoulder.
My more responsible side was tut-tutting me like a prissy old woman, saying things like, „You aren‟t
married yet!‟ and „You can‟t do this while she is technically on drugs!‟ The shoulder angel was no
help he just rolled his eyes at me, being unable to do much else.
Needless to say I was completely caught off guard as Bella continued her assault and then hopped
into my lap straddling my waist. Good lord she was acting dominate. Hmmm…Bella being
dominate…I wonder if she‟ll spank me?
That isn‟t helping this situation Edward!
I was used to Bella always pushing the boundaries with me, but it was usually in response to me
kissing her. In fact I could only think of two other times when she had instigated things with such
vigor. One night was the best night of my life. Bella had tried to seduce me and wound up agreeing
to marry me instead. Ha! The other time was just following one of the worst moments in my
existence, it was after she allowed that dog Jacob Black to practically molest her.
Granted, thinking she was dead on the way to Italy was worse than that, but not by much. I had a
very hard time containing my anguish and outrage when I saw through Seth‟s mind how that mutt
had put his filthy paws all over my angel. I knew that he manipulated her into doing it, but that
didn‟t lessen the sting of being forced to relive my fiancée‟s mauling. She had been only too eager
to prove herself to me when I returned to the tent afterwards. Hmmm….I might have to take her
camping later…so we could enjoy the great outdoors.
Get back on topic Edward!
During the night that preceded Jacob„s assault, hereby known as the night from hell, while he had
used his hulking, putrid, half-naked form to warm her, I had revealed more about vampiric nature
than I was really ready for her to know. Although her eyes had been closed, I hadn‟t been entirely
sure that she was asleep. I needed to know if she had overheard.
I carefully broke away from her rather insistent lips and repositioned her so that she was no longer
able to…um….wiggle around quite so much on the….more sensitive parts of my anatomy. My
musings on the night from hell had been such that they had ruined my own interest in our current
situation.
She was pouting at me, disappointed that I had put an end to her clothed attempts at virtual
fornication. I pressed a small kiss on her nose and prepared myself.
“Bella, there is something I‟ve been wondering,” I stated trying to engage her interest.
“What are you wondering about?” She asked while placing a soft warm kiss on my cheek. She was
going to make it hard to stay focused. My own body was already protesting at the fact that I had
put an end to our little interlude.
“The night that we were in the tent with Jacob, were you asleep or did you hear our conversation?”
“I‟m not sure. I thought I might have been dreaming, did you two really talk then?”
“Yes we did.” Damn it she had been awake.
“You were really mad at Jacob, I remember you saying something about him needing to control his
thoughts,” she said while looking at me inquisitively.
“Well that wasn‟t the part that I was referring to, and after I let you in on a few of Mike‟s secrets I
can‟t imagine that you would want to add Jacob‟s to the list.” I needed to steer her away from that
subject. While Jacob had more fantasies about her than was healthy, his tended to lean more
towards passion than perversion and what he thought he could make her feel. I definitely didn‟t
want to explore that.
“I was wondering if you had any questions about life as a vampire after you overheard the
conversation.”
“You did mention that your mind is different, that you can think of many things at the same time.”
True. It was my brain‟s ability to multi-task that kept me from going insane when I had to listen to
everyone else‟s thoughts. It was also this ability that allowed me to get the upper hand in most of
our arguments, hopefully I would still be able to do that once her mind was more similar to my
own, otherwise I‟d be screwed.
“That‟s true. A vampire‟s mind can process much more information at once and as I‟ve told you
before we also have perfect memory and recall.”
When I told her that vampires were easily distracted, this is the main reason why. Of course there
were times when it seemed like all I could think about was her. It would be a very dangerous thing
indeed if I should allow myself to let my desire for her rule all my thoughts at once. That amount of
focus is what led to all night sex sessions between mates. Something I‟d had to endure
overhearing for decades as a result of living with three pairs of preternaturally randy vampires.
Although part of me wanted Bella to remain human for her sake, an increasingly larger part of me
was eagerly anticipating her transformation. Once she was changed, and she had her bloodlust
under control, if we were like other vampire couples, we‟d be going at it like rabbits.
Hmmm….perhaps I‟m not so anxious for her to remain human after all.
Quit being selfish Edward!
“Are you concerned about the possible changes in your mental capabilities?” I inquired.
“I‟m not really sure. I know you told Jacob, and you‟ve told me, that I will still be myself, but when
you say that my mind will be able to process much more information, and when I hear about the
newborn bloodlust and craziness I can‟t help but worry.”
Ah yes. Bella‟s concerns were valid. She would be herself, but she would also have new instincts to
deal with. Coping with those powerful instincts would be the greatest challenge for her to face.
Only once she had dealt with them could I honestly hope for other instincts to kick in.
“I promise, you will still be you, and we will all be here for you to keep you on the straight and
narrow.” Bella frowned at me and I felt the need to lighten the mood a bit. “Just think about how
much easier high school will be the next time around when your mind can process the information
so quickly, you‟ll have to resort to daydreaming to keep yourself entertained in class.”
She perked up a bit, “Is that what you did in class?”
“Of course. Do you know just how many times I have sat through virtually the same lessons?”
Really, how often can one hear about frequently incorrect historical facts, repetitive mathematical
theorems, or recycled science lectures before they need to find some escapist relief? Oh…I had
been finding relief quite frequently the last few months of school sitting next to her!
“You can still change your mind.” I added chivalrously. It would kill me if she did, but it had to be
her choice.
“No Edward, I know what I want.” Relief swept through me as I realized that she wasn‟t going to
back out. “So, what did you think about to distract yourself in class?” she continued. I wasn‟t sure
if I should answer that, but we were being honest so…
“Extra phallicular activities.” I joked, trying to keep the mood somewhat light.
Bella‟s eyes widened, “Oh really. I wish we could have explored some of those.”
“Perhaps our next time through high school we can.” I winked at her suggestively. Her face
brightened up and she started to blush, undoubtedly thinking about all of the perverse pleasures
we could enjoy while sneaking around the less traveled corridors of whatever high school we would
wind up in next. I began running though kinky movie references at this point and I needed to
redirect myself or I would risk losing my control as certain…kitchen scenes ran though my mind.
Home economics indeed!
“Are there any other questions you have about what you overheard?” She was thoughtful for a
moment, no doubt needing to refocus her mind as well. She started to become pensive, her eyes
narrowing, and I knew that she had thought of something.
“You mentioned that you were „set in stone‟, that when change happens it‟s permanent, that even
if I left it would never change the way you feel about me. Can you explain what that means
exactly?”
“My personality is essentially unchanged from the time I was transformed Bella, that‟s how I know
you will still be you.” I said as I caressed her cheek gently. “When I fell in love with you, that love
became ingrained in every particle of me. It‟s something so rare and so powerful that it etched
itself on my being. I told you once that imprinting was almost as strong as what I feel for you,
that„s because my love for you is so much more fulsome. Do you understand?”
I had fought with that admission for a long time, not wanting Bella to feel like she had to bind
herself to me out of her concern for my inability to ever move on from her. One thing suddenly
occurred to me at that moment. Bella would be frozen as she was right now. In love, with me. I
was overjoyed at the thought, but I felt that I really needed to clarify the consequences of her
change.
“Bella, you need to understand that once you are a vampire the way you feel about people, the
way you feel about me, will most likely become a permanent and unchangeable part of who you
are. Are you comfortable with that?”
I expected her to be horrified at that revelation. How would she feel about being stuck with loving
me forever, essentially left without a choice?
I was surprised to see her smile grow even wider. “Love that lasts forever? I think I can be more
than comfortable with that.”
I never really thought about it that way before. But my Bella she was a hopeless romantic, the
Juliet to my fortunately less fickle Romeo. I looked deep into her dilated, drugged up eyes and
breathed a sigh of relief.
I had already asked her about Jacob, but something else from the night from hell popped into my
head at that moment. The sleep talking that she had done while ensconced in the mutt‟s arms.
At first it had been wonderful, she had called my name over and over in her sleep. I had a hard
time not gloating as I watched Jacob wince both physically and mentally at her nocturnal
ramblings. But then, just as the dream started sounding really good, she had said „Jacob, my
Jacob.‟
That little utterance had the mongrel practically beaming with joy, I think he actually stuck his long
floppy tongue out at me when she did that.
Asking her to reveal her dreams to me was unforgivable. I knew that she couldn‟t help the things
that her subconscious mind conjured up when she was in her deepest slumber. Of course I had a
pretty good idea about the main theme of the ones that I starred in these days. Her highly charged
erotic moans on those nights were electrifying. Hmmm….I wonder if Bella really will be a
moaner….maybe even a screamer. The idea was very exciting.
Your getting distracted again Edward!
When she had said Jacob‟s name that night, it wasn‟t necessarily erotic per se, but there was still
something off in the way that it came out. I sat there having an internal debate with myself over
the appropriateness of this request. The little devil piped up and reminded me at that point that we
were already being inappropriate and he called me a….rather vulgar name. I caved.
“Tell me what you were dreaming that night in the tent Bella.”
Chapter 6.
I had succumbed to my curiosity and now waited with baited breath for her answer. If I was being
totally honest I loved the fact that I clearly took the starring role in her dreams. But, during the
night from hell when she had mentioned the mutt‟s name instead of mine, while she was in his
arms no less, I was in absolute agony.
I looked at her to see if she was going to answer, to see what her physical response was to my
questioning. I knew that if she started to blush it meant that the dream was something she would
be embarrassed to share. I was nearly heartbroken then when I saw the familiar trail of blood run
though her cheeks coloring them.
“You‟re embarrassed?” I asked, trying to keep the dejection out of my voice. Had she had that kind
of dream about him?
“Um, well only about parts of it,” she admitted.
“Did you want to start at the part where Jacob came into your dream?”
“Oh,” she said blushing harder. I felt my hands clench on the table and tried to regain my
composure before I snapped the wood in my grasp. “Well the dream started with you in it, and
then Jacob came in. At first he was like the Jacob that I used to know, sweet and funny. But when
he saw you he changed, and he started turning into Sam and shaking with anger. I called out to
him, I was yelling his name, but Sam turned around and when I asked what had happened to my
Jacob all did was sneer at me. It was horrible.”
So, her dream about Jacob hadn‟t been sexual? Why on earth was she blushing then?
“Bella, that‟s nothing to be embarrassed of.”
“I wasn‟t embarrassed about that part of the dream,” she said, blushing harder.
Oh. I could feel the little devil on my shoulder stand at alert, his ears pricked with anticipation. I
should obviously drop the subject now, but I wasn‟t going to. My less noble side argued that I only
had a little more time with this type of open access to her mind, it would be wasteful not to take
advantage of that, right? I sighed. I really was about to go to hell for this.
“What part of the dream embarrassed you, love?”
I held on to her as she shifted uncomfortably and squirmed a little. Hmmm…she was still sitting on
my lap…one inch closer and that squirming would feel pretty good.
Quit thinking about dry humping her Edward!
“You can tell me about your dream,” I encouraged while seductively trailing my fingers along her
cheekbone. “Couples should be able to share these types of things with each other.” I knew that
playing the couple communication card was pretty low since I was essentially guilting her into
talking, but my ethics had left the building about an hour and a half ago in all honesty.
“Well, we were in the meadow again. You were kissing me among all the flowers and before I knew
it we were…well…making love. In my dream it was just so passionate and amazing, and that‟s
when Jake showed up and it all got really weird after that,” she sighed.
I tried not to smile too widely. The idea of making love in the meadow was very appealing to me.
In fact it was something that had almost happened. The day that I took her there after the night
from hell and the ensuing battle, I had let down my guard and lost it completely. If Bella hadn‟t
stopped me……it was way too dangerous to let my thoughts dwell on that.
Apparently while I was trying to keep my thoughts from wandering in that direction Bella‟s were
already there. Before I could react she spun around in my lap and planted her lips on mine kissing
me deeply. She really did have a one track mind. I found myself right back in the situation I‟d been
in just a moment ago with her legs wrapping around me on the chair pulling me closer to her as
her warm soft lips moved forcefully against mine. She really was doing nothing to help my resolve.
“Edward,” she whispered in between heady kisses. “I changed my mind.”
Changed her mind? About what? Did she want to go to Vegas? Oh no. Had she changed her mind
about marrying me? It was her choice of course, always her choice, but my insecurities were
starting to bubble over and cause me a great deal of concern.
My concerns were short lived however as her delicate little fingers started to quickly unbutton my
shirt. I felt her hands graze over my exposed chest leaving behind a tingling warmth as they
continued their journey over the muscles that she was so softly outlining. I could feel my breathing
hitch as she moved her lips down my neck nibbling and gently biting my stone flesh as she
tortuously worked her way down.
Her fingers continued their descent, brushing up and down my lower abdomen, my body was
trembling in response to her delicious touch. I couldn‟t allow this to happen could I? My emotions
were all in a tangle. My seventeen year old self was jumping up and down excitedly bumping fists
with the shoulder devil. My responsible side was staring me down and ticking off reasons to stop
while the mute angel shook his head at me.
Bella was wiggling on my lap, pulling our hips impossibly closer, the heat of her body crashing into
mine. Even with the barrier of our clothing I could feel her soft curves molding into my cold, hard
shape. Her lips continued their sensual assault over every inch of my exposed skin. Her breathing
was as ragged as mine, and I could feel my eyes rolling into the back of my head with the sheer
force of the pleasure that she was giving me.
“Bella,” I breathed. “We have to stop this.”
“No,” she protested grinding her hips firmly against mine. “Remember the meadow? You told me I
could change my mind and I have. I want you. I need you. Right now.”
I pressed my mouth against her neck, licking along the veins and kissing the skin gently.
“We can‟t get caught up like this love. It isn‟t right. We‟ll be married soon,” I tried to argue half
heartedly. I had to think of something fast. I wanted her. God how I wanted her! But, I knew we
would have an eternity for this and I had to think straight. My ethics were already laying in tatters
around me, but I still had my virtue, I had to hold onto that one thing.
“You promised Edward,” she reminded me without pausing to break off her assault.
She almost had a point there. Technically I did say that she could let me know if she changed her
mind, but I didn‟t exactly promise that I would follow through. I wanted to give in, but I knew I
couldn‟t. However, if I stopped I was pretty sure she would feel rejected and would quite possibly
be angry with me. Hmmmm….was virtue really worth so much?
Damn it Edward yes it is!
I had to think of something but my mind was having a hard time focusing on anything besides my
lust as Bella‟s hands began slowly sliding my shirt over my shoulders and down my upper arms,
her lips kissed the muscles as they were revealed to her. My breathing was out of control and I was
about to snap, I couldn‟t hold back the moan that escaped my lips and encouraged her bold
actions.
I wanted to make her happy, I couldn‟t risk her disappointment, I had to save my virtue. So I did
the first thing that came to mind. Putting my fingers under her chin I lifted her lips to mine and
captured them in a passionate open mouthed kiss. I took a deep breath in through my nose, and
then I released all of the venom scented air in my lungs into her mouth dazing her. While she was
momentarily stunned, I continued the kiss even though her breathing had stopped until I felt her
pass into unconsciousness. My inner seventeen year old was screaming at me about ruining his
life….he was so melodramatic. I was doing the right thing after all. Well… right for me. I tried to
ignore the little devil who was making some very inappropriate hand gestures in my direction.
I knew I only had a few moments to set a hopefully believable scene for my love. I laid her across
the kitchen table and then used my immense speed as I knocked over furniture in the kitchen,
quickly moved the clock oh…about thirty minutes ahead, and broke a couple of dishes on the floor
near the table. Vampiric sex was supposed to be passionate and wild right?
I returned to Bella. This would be a little trickier. I mussed her hair making it look tangled and wild,
rumpled her clothes and ripped a couple of the buttons off of her shirt. I finished her look by
undoing the button on her jeans and carefully reached down to tear the elastic band on her
panties. Yep, that looked good.
I quickly disheveled my own hair and tossed my shirt across the room. I undid my belt and let it
hang open on my jeans undoing the top button. Let‟s see…was I missing anything? Nope? Perfect!
I climbed up on top of the kitchen table next to her and caressed her cheek as she began to stir.
Leaning down I kissed her gently, trying to rouse her. As she began to respond I lightly breathed
into her mouth again stunning her slightly.
“E-Edward?” She whispered.
“Mmmm. Yes, love?”
“What happened?” she asked as she sat up on the table slightly dazed. Her hand trailed down to
her partially destroyed shirt and she looked up at me with beautiful, confused eyes. Hmmm….I
really wish I could have followed though.
You‟ll be able to soon enough Edward!
“Oh Bella, we made love…don‟t you remember?” I asked trying to feign a little hurt in my voice.
This was so wrong of me.
“I remember kissing you and then suddenly everything went black,” she said shaking her head
lightly. I ran my fingers up and down her arm soothingly.
“It may have been a bit much, love. I‟m afraid it was quite passionate and I should have stopped,
but after your first few climaxes I became a bit unrestrained. You must have passed out and
suffered memory loss from the sheer pleasure of it all,” I lied. “I‟m so sorry Bella.” I was a bit
sorry. I wanted to make love to her badly. Would tonight‟s fib and non-experience be enough to
sway her from intimacy until she was changed? As much as I wanted her now, I truly was
concerned about her safety should we attempt it sooner.
“Wow,” she gasped. “I-I don‟t believe it.”
“I know,” I smirked at her.
“No, Edward. I mean I really don‟t believe it,” she said narrowing her eyes at me.
“Um. Don‟t believe what?” I asked hopefully.
“Edward, I‟m not that gullible you know,” she replied condescendingly. Uh oh. I tried looking up at
her though my eyelashes and giving her my best crooked smile.
“You aren‟t dazzling your way out of this,” she grumped at me. Hopefully she wasn‟t too upset. But
as I looked at her carefully I could tell she was beyond mad, she was irate! I had to think of a way
out of this.
Chapter 7.
I was afraid that the evening might wind up like this at some point. With the love of my existence
infuriated with me. I just thought that it wouldn‟t be until later when the drugs had worn off and
she realized that I had injudiciously prodded my way into her private thoughts.
In all honestly my plan wasn‟t exactly brilliant. It was spur of the moment and born out of utter
panic. Now I sat here, bare-chested on the kitchen table with my disheveled love giving me a look
that would have surely resulted in my death if I‟d been a mere mortal. All because I wasn‟t ready
to give her the one thing that truthfully both of us wanted more than anything else.
I had to think of a way to rectify this situation.
“Bella,” I said reaching my hand out to touch her gingerly. She slapped me away and then grabbed
her hand in pain.
“Ow. Dammit!” she screeched while glaring daggers at me. “I think I broke my hand.”
I reached out for her. “Let me see love.” Great! Now she‟d injured herself and it was all my fault.
Could this evening go any worse?
“No,” she said petulantly as she pulled her hand away. “I wouldn‟t want you to have to touch me
after all since the idea bothers you so much. I think I‟ll just go get some ice.” I knew she was mad
at me for pulling my little stunt, hell I was a little mad at me too. I did the right thing after all,
didn‟t I? But how could she assume that I didn‟t want to touch her? The idea was ludicrous!
She got up and stormed over to the freezer pulling it open roughly. I hurried to her side with a
towel to wrap the ice in.
“Thank you,” she snapped, holding the makeshift ice pack to her hand.
“You‟re welcome.”
She turned and started walking towards the door.
“Where do you think you are going?” I demanded. What? She was just going to walk off now? Not
if I had anything to do with it.
“Since I make you uncomfortable enough that you feel the need to make up ridiculous lies to keep
from touching me, perhaps it‟s better if I go,” she stated, her voice was trembling slightly and I
could tell she was on the verge of tears. How much more of a monster could I be? I‟d hurt her, lied
to her…all to try to protect her. But, once again my way of doing things had turned out so very
wrong.
I ran ahead of her, blocking her exit. Leaving was not going to solve our problems. “Bella, we need
to talk about this. I won‟t have you leaving this room believing that I don‟t want you when we both
know that isn‟t the case.”
“How could you try to trick me like that? Do you really think I‟m that dense?” she demanded.
“Of course not. I wasn‟t thinking and I panicked. Bella, I didn‟t want to disappoint you again. I
thought maybe I could make you happy if you believed it had happened, it was so stupid of me.
I‟m sorry, I do want you. I promise you I do.” I pulled her to me in a tight embrace and gently
stroked her hair trying to convey my love in that one simple gesture.
“Then why Edward?” she asked while trying to struggle out of my arms. I wasn‟t about to release
her yet so I kept my firm hold on her.
“I don‟t want to hurt you! How many times do I have to explain that to you? Aren‟t you concerned
about your safety at all?”
“No. I don‟t have to be concerned I know you won‟t hurt me,” she said. I loosened my grip so she
could pull back to look at me.
“It‟s impossible for you to know that. Bella you are going to make me insane!” I yelled. Didn‟t she
realize that with how desperately I wanted her that I might in my over exuberance wind up
breaking her…killing her?
“You are around me all the time without hurting me Edward. I don‟t think that this will be any
different.” I gently held up her injured hand partly to make sure that it wasn‟t in fact broken,
thankfully all the bones appeared to be intact, partly to contradict the point she had just tried to
make. She just sighed and rolled her eyes.
She was so resolutely stubborn. “Don‟t you have any worries about our being intimate at all?” I
asked.
She looked down suddenly, biting her bottom lip and blushing. “Some,” she mumbled.
Well safety obviously wasn‟t her main concern so what was? “What are you worried about?”
“I know it will be difficult for you, that you‟ll have to be gentle when we make love while I‟m still
human, and I guess…I just feel like I won‟t be enough for you and that you won‟t enjoy it.”
“I don‟t think that me not enjoying it would even be possible.” Really? She honestly thought that I
wouldn‟t like having sex with her? Good lord, it‟s all I thought about! How to make her
understand….I don‟t suppose that it would really do much to tell her I almost explode in my pants
every time she kisses me.
“Well I could use your argument there Edward, it‟s impossible for you to know that you‟ll enjoy it
since you‟ve never allowed yourself to even try,” she argued. Okay, now that was just a ridiculous
assumption on her point. The shoulder devil pointed to my obvious erection as exhibit A.
“If I didn‟t enjoy myself when we are together then I wouldn‟t have to worry about my control.
Good lord Bella the sight of your body alone is so arousing it‟s unnerving!”
“Please,“ she scoffed. “How do you know that you‟ll even like what you see when I‟m naked in front
of you for the first time? You won‟t even do anything more than kiss me much less look at me!”
she continued.
“That‟s not exactly true,” I mumbled under my breath while shuffling my feet. At first I didn‟t think
that she‟d heard me, but when I looked up her eyes were wide with shock and her face was turning
crimson.
“What?” she gasped.
Oh no. I shouldn‟t have told her about that. I didn‟t suppose I could get into any worse trouble
than I was already in, might as well confess.
“I‟ve seen you…unclothed,” I admitted. Her undamaged hand went up to cover her mouth. My
inner seventeen year old held up a pair of binoculars and waggled his eyebrows
suggestively…pervert.
“When?”
“Directly or indirectly?” Ooh. I probably shouldn‟t have asked that. Bella coughed and stumbled
backwards a little. I was worried she was going to bolt from the room, but her brow furrowed and
she nodded her head like she‟d worked something out.
“Both Edward. I think I deserve to know,” she said resolutely.
I took a deep breath. Perhaps the rip the band aid off approach would work best. “It started
indirectly through the minds of others after we first met. I wanted to make sure you were okay… so
that would be; when you changed in gym, in the hospital, when Alice was helping you bathe,
anytime you were changing in front of other people pretty much. Um, directly…well…let‟s just say
that your flimsy yellow curtains don‟t shield much from view and that„s just the start.”
Bella‟s jaw hit the floor. Not only had I mentioned spying on her in various states of undress
through the thoughts of others, I‟d admitted to behavior that was akin to being a peeping Tom. As
always my thoughts led me to wonder if this was the moment where she would run away
screaming. Most normal girls would.
After a moment of shocked silence my love regained some of her composure. Once the blush
began to recede from her cream colored cheeks she smiled at me. Smiled?
“Did you like what you saw?” she asked.
Bella wasn‟t angry with me for watching her? Hmmm….maybe she‟d let me watch her more
often….perhaps with some erotic music playing in the background. My shoulder devil helpfully held
up a handful of dollar bills.
Don‟t treat Bella like a stripper Edward!
“Um...of course love, you‟re so beautiful.” Really, what else was I going to say? There was no way
that any man wouldn‟t enjoy seeing her that way. In fact just about every male in our school had
thought about her naked, some more than others. I suppressed a growl that threatened to come
out with that unpleasant thought.
“How could you like it?” she frowned. “I can‟t possibly compare with you, I can‟t even compare with
other humans.”
Was she completely mental? Did she not see how delectable she was? My shoulder devil pulled out
my mental nudie magazine and pointed out that she was clearly the centerfold in every picture.
Hmmm….I wonder if she‟d ever let me photograph her?
You can‟t ask Bella to pose for porn Edward!
Perhaps if I could explain that she wasn‟t alone and that she was far more enticing than anyone
else. Plus, I didn‟t want to make her uncomfortable thinking that I was going out of my way to spy
on her.
The shoulder angel glared at me.
Okay… so perhaps a couple of times I did go over there to check her out on purpose.
The angel shook his head.
Fine, I went over there a lot specifically to get a peek. I still wasn‟t about to admit that to her
though. How to normalize the situation?
“Bella, because of my little gift I‟ve seen just about everyone we know disrobed, you are a lovely
sight by comparison, believe me.” She shook her head slightly as if to clear her thoughts and
looked at me like she was somewhat disgusted. She probably didn‟t want to hear that I could tell
her what everyone looked like in the buff. Too be perfectly honest it wasn‟t always a pretty sight.
Well, despite my best intentions it looked like that was the wrong approach. I needed to get her on
the right track so that she wouldn‟t start thinking of me as a voyeuristic freak. Maybe this did need
to be more about her.
I reached my hand up and lightly traced her cheekbone, then I slowly ran my hand down her neck
and across the curves of her body finally landing at her waist. “Bella, my Bella; don‟t for a moment
doubt your beauty. You are the most stunning thing I‟ve ever seen. Your curves are perfectly
proportioned, your skin is like silk, you don‟t know how badly I want to devour every inch of you.”
Her glazed eyes widened as she listened to me describe her perfection. She paused for a moment
and then looked down at the floor in obvious contemplation.
When she returned her gaze to me her drugged eyes were sparkling with delight and…mischief?
She stood up on her tip toes and softly brushed her lips against mine. Ah, sheer ecstasy, the
warmth of her lips caressing mine in forgiveness. She kissed along my cheekbone leaving a
heavenly trail in her wake until she reached my ear.
“Edward,” she said huskily. “I think it‟s only fair. Since you‟ve seen me, I want to see you?”
“I‟m right here in front of you love,” I answered shakily.
“No Edward,” she purred. “I want you to strip for me. Right now.”
The shoulder angel and devil, my more responsible side, my inner seventeen year old and I all
stood there frozen with our jaws hanging open like idiots. She wanted WHAT?
Chapter 8.
I stood frozen in place for a long time. My sweet, beautiful Bella, who was so shy and insecure, had
just forcefully asked me to strip for her. Good lord!
My inner seventeen year old was the first to snap out of the shock. He grinned and cockily whipped
out a measuring tape as he went to slowly undo his pants. I tried to shove him away.
Could I actually do this? In a way I suppose it was only fair. I had seen her glorious body on
countless occasions. Enough that I had memorized every line and soft curve, the exact color of her
flesh in her more…..intimate areas. She was a walking delicacy that constantly inflamed my desires
and fueled my fantasies.
What would happen once she‟s seen me?. What if she didn‟t like it…what if she did? Would I give
her an image that would tide her over in her fantasies until after our wedding? Would she….to
thoughts of me?
I knew that girls did that. Hell, the girls at our high school thought about it constantly. They even
used…devices; there was one in particular that they all whispered about when they thought they
were out of earshot. Wait! I looked over at my love, did she? Before I could stop myself the
question sprang from my lips.
“Bella, do you have a rabbit?”
She furrowed her brow and looked at me quizzically. Oh! I shouldn‟t have asked her that. I couldn‟t
imagine my innocent love with a…sex toy. Hmmm…I‟d happily make her my sex toy….I wonder
how many uses my Bella could be put to. The devil on my shoulder started prattling off different
perversions.
Quit objectifying Bella Edward!
“Are you hoping for a snack or something Edward?” she asked clearly confused. “Why would I get a
rabbit when I couldn‟t even keep my goldfish alive?”
Oh! She didn‟t know. Although she could be quite the tempting little vixen at times, she really had
no clue. I breathed a sigh of relief knowing that at least I wouldn‟t have to worry about being
replaced by machinery.
“No love, I‟m not thirsty. I just heard someone mentioning that they were quite popular now. I‟m
not really sure why I asked,” I replied. Yes, that toy was quite popular judging from the more
disturbing thoughts that I heard. Let‟s just say that I avoided driving by certain houses at night.
Bella gave me a very odd look, one that seemed to be asking if I was mentally competent. On the
bright side she seemed distracted from her previous request now. Perhaps if I managed to keep
the questions coming I could divert her mind.
I was struggling to pull my own mind away from the filthy direction it was going. But it just wasn‟t
working. I couldn‟t get the mental images of Bella in innumerable compromising positions out of
my ungentlemanly brain. I instantly thought of one particularly pleasing scenario that she herself
had mentioned earlier when she asked if all of me was sweet.
It was clear that she had thought about…pleasing me…orally. I had never intended to ask her to do
something like that. It wasn‟t befitting a lady. But, the thought of her instigating that type of
activity…oh I might just burst.
“Bella,” I began while playing with the ends of her hair. “I was wondering about something that
you said earlier.” I wasn‟t sure how to broach this subject. Best to be careful.
She tilted her head waiting for me to continue.
“I got the impression that you wanted to do something to me.” She looked thoughtful. Probably
because she‟d mentioned a few somethings that she wanted to do. “It sounded like you wanted to
taste me,” I clarified somewhat bashfully.
Bella turned bright red. I couldn‟t believe I was actively reopening this topic of conversation with
her.
“I…I,” she looked down, embarrassed. “Yes,” she murmured.
I lifted her chin up and looked deep into her entrancing hazed over eyes.
“I don‟t want you to feel ashamed to talk to me about these things Bella,” I reassured. Of course I
was a bit nervous talking about these things too. I was so lucky that I didn‟t have the ability to
blush and give myself away. I just had to remember that these were the types of adult
conversations that mature married people needed to have. That would be my internal mantra that
would get me through this topic of conversation.
“While I never want to make you feel like you need to do something that will make you
uncomfortable, you should be able to tell me your desires,” I continued.
“Well, I do…want to …you know,” she babbled.
“At some point, when it‟s safe, I‟ll let you. Would you be comfortable allowing me to do the same?”
Her eyes widened with shock. “You‟d want to do that?” she gasped, stunned by my question.
I nodded.
“Why? I can‟t imagine you…um.”
“Why wouldn‟t I want to give the most beautiful woman I know that type of pleasure?”
Bella scoffed and looked uncomfortably across the room, avoiding eye contact. “Are you sure your
sight is all it‟s cracked up to be?”
“Look at me,” I demanded. She reluctantly met my eyes while I cupped her chin in my hand. “You
are the most beautiful thing in this world to me. You are the light in the darkness that has brought
me hope. Your eyes are mesmerizing, the way they pull me in; your body sings to me, your flesh is
the most divinely sinful thing I have ever seen and your hair is like heaven and silk all wrapped up
together. How do you fail see the beauty? It overwhelms me whenever I‟m in your presence.”
“I guess I‟ve just never felt beautiful.”
“Is there anything that makes you feel like the beauty you are?”
She blushed again. “Your words. The lullaby. The only time I‟ve felt beautiful is when I‟m with you.
But, even if I am beautiful, I‟m not sweet like you; I can‟t imagine that the taste of …that would be
very appealing to you.”
“Love, your smell is like the finest wine to me…and I‟m not just talking about your blood. I‟m sure
you are quite delectably delicious,” I replied. The devil on my shoulder licked his lips and shot her a
lewd look.
To prove my point I licked her from her collar bone up her neck and to her ear.
“Magnificent!“ I exclaimed
She burned bright red, yet her eyes held unmistakable desire, her mouth was slightly agape. I„d
left her speechless. Hmm….I wonder if the rest of her would burn as brightly…especially her…
Stop being pervy Edward!
As Bella‟s blush wore off her shocked expression began to morph into one of determination.
“I know you‟re trying to distract me Edward.”
I tried to keep my expression as innocent as possible.
“Don‟t you have something to show me?” she persisted.
“Um. My new CDs?” Anything. Anything, please lord. She shook her head. “Alice has been adding
to my wardrobe and I‟m not sure if the colors are right, perhaps you could take a look and give me
your opinion?” I tried desperately.
“Just for that I want you to make this good,” she said jabbing her finger at me. Good? Was she
expecting that it would be bad before?
“Whatever do you mean, love?” I tried racking my brain for more questions that might prolong the
moment she was asking for. My shoulder angel was no help; he just shrugged at me.
“I think I want you to make a show out of this.” She tilted her head to the side. “Considering how
often you‟ve seen me, and I can‟t even begin to guess in how many situations, I want you to put
on a button down shirt, and then slowly take everything off…to music.”
I briefly wondered if it was possible for a vampire to pass out. Not only did she want me to expose
myself to her, she wanted me to put on some kind of cheesy, degrading performance? What the
hell! Of course, hadn‟t I had the same errant thoughts about her only moments ago?
I pinched my finger and thumb to the bridge of my nose to try to calm myself down.
“Will that truly make you happy?” I asked. Hoping that she would see how inappropriate her
request was.
“Well I have to admit I‟m curious. I haven‟t seen too many men and I wonder what you look like,”
she said gaining a new confidence in her voice.
„Too many men…‟, her words echoed in my mind. Had she seen any?
“Bella, have you seen a naked man before? Other than in a textbook or something?”
“Yeah,” she shrugged.
WHAT? I felt jealousy begin to sear through my veins, my vision hazing over slightly red in anger.
Who had dared corrupt the innocence of MY Bella‟s eyes?
“Who did you see, love?” I asked while trying to keep my voice calm.
“Well, just Jacob and Paul,” she said defensively.
SHE‟D SEEN THE MUTTS??!! I was outraged. Livid. I was the one she was marrying and yet they‟d
exposed themselves to her? They had no decency!
Bella must have seen the expression on my face. I can only imagine it was furious. The shoulder
devil was actually working with the angel at this moment discussing methods they could use to
wipe the dogs off the face of the Earth. My more responsible side had passed out from shock and
looked like he might require some smelling salts.
“It was only once when they phased in front of me. You know they explode out of their clothes
when that happens. You weren‟t even here then, it was totally unintentional and only lasted for a
second.” She was speaking softly to me, rubbing my arm gently in an attempt to sooth my obvious
anger.
“How much did you see?” I gritted out between my teeth. She looked away. “The truth,” I
demanded.
She sighed. “All of it.” Her eyes widened unintentionally at the memory. What? Was she impressed
by them? Oh no. I did not want the only image of a nude man that she had to draw on to be one of
those stinking shape shifters. Especially not Jacob. That was going to change. Right. Now. My inner
seventeen year old seconded my decision and began strutting around.
“I‟ll be right back. Why don‟t you pick out a song and make yourself comfortable on the couch in
the living room.”
Bella sucked in a deep breath and walked towards the living room a little shakily. I could tell my
response was not what she expected.
I raced up the stairs and pulled on a dark button down oxford. Although we normally wore light
colors to distract from the pallor of our skin, I knew she preferred me in deeper hues. Her heart
rate every time I wore something like this was testament enough to that. I removed my shoes and
socks, determining that they would be rather difficult to remove in a tantalizing manner.
I made my way downstairs a little slower, taking a couple of deep unnecessary breaths to calm
myself for what I was about to do.
When I reached the living room Bella was already in place looking a little apprehensive, the stereo
remote in her hand. I can only assume that her tension was due to my previous outburst. I walked
up to her and leaned in kissing her lips gently, claiming her and calming her all at once.
“Are you ready?” I whispered into her ear.
She nodded enthusiastically and crashed her lips back into mine before turning on the music--a
soft sultry jazz song. I smirked at her and slowly backed away. How was I going to go about doing
this?
My inner seventeen year old was voting for dropping trou and doing grotesque pelvic thrusts at
her…that wasn‟t going to work.
My shoulder devil was waving tear away pants and a cod piece at me…I don‟t think so.
My angel and more responsible side were huddled together covering each other‟s eyes in shame.
I was on my own this time. I stepped up onto the coffee table, thankful that it was sturdy. It would
act as my stage. I winked at her and ran my hands slowly up my chest to the top button of my
shirt while staring deep into her eyes.
Her breathing hitched as I slowly began to undo the buttons of my shirt in time to the music. One,
two, three, four…it was the slowest I had ever moved at disrobing myself. I could hear her
heartbeat pick up as each opened button revealed another inch of my chest to her.
I let my shirt hang open and ran my hand up my abdominal muscles, following a path until I
reached my chest. I watched as her eyes followed the ridiculously slow movements of my fingers
across my flesh. When her pupils began to dilate slightly I could tell that she was becoming
aroused by my performance--her reaction was causing me to have one of my own.
I ran my hand across the upper part of my chest to my shoulder and pulled my shirt down over the
muscle there, repeating the action on the other side until it hung from my biceps, revealing the
expanse of my torso to her. Her breathing got heavier as she watched me trail my fingers back and
forth over my collarbone, my gaze never leaving her face. Once her eyes met mine again I
shrugged out of my shirt the rest of the way, letting it pool on the table by my feet.
I ran one of my hands through my hair, imagining that it was her hand, to try to calm myself. My
arousal was growing with my every movement and her tantalizing response to me was making it
worse. I hoped that she wouldn‟t be too appalled when she saw for herself the exact effect she had
on me.
I trailed my other hand down my chest, my fingers tracing down the faint trail of bronze below my
navel to my belt buckle, which I slowly undid with my fingers before pulling the belt out of the
loops.
The intensity of the situation was getting to me. I tried to break up the mounting sexual tension by
whipping the belt across my thigh with a resounding crack before tossing it to the side. What I
thought would elicit a giggle from my love had the opposite effect. Her breath became labored; she
was panting and she clutched her hands tightly on her knees as if she needed to brace herself.
Oh God. She was going to be the death of me. I took a deep breath and undid the button on the
top of my pants. Bella shivered slightly with that motion. I slowly reached down and began to unzip
listening carefully as tooth by tooth the zipper was opened revealing my bulging undergarment
beneath. Bella was trembling in her seated position.
I ran my hands tentatively across my hips and gripped the top of the denim pulling them down my
thighs. I maintained my eye contact with her. I needed it to keep me grounded before I lost
control. I was prepared for this experience to be embarrassing, but now that I was here,
performing for my future bride, I was shocked by how erotic it was.
I shimmied myself out of the jeans completely, allowing them to fall to the floor in front of her.
There was only one garment remaining and both of us were anticipating its removal, our breath
echoing around the room, ragged and choppy. Bella was outright shaking, her delicate pink tongue
darting out to moisten her plump, mildly swollen lips as her eyes fixated on the prominent erection
being outlined by the cling of my tight white boxer briefs.
I ran my hands up my thighs and snapped the elastic band around my waist hoping to distract her
for a moment so I could collect myself. Her eyes darted up towards mine now. They were slightly
closed. What one would call bedroom eyes. They were my undoing. Once I was revealed to her, if
she demanded I take her to the gold bed upstairs I would not be able to resist.
I ran my hands down the lines of my stomach muscles until they rested on the waistband of my
underwear; and then I slowly began to lower them in the back until my rear was exposed and then
I carefully made my way around to the front pulling the clingy material down and exposing myself,
firm and completely bare, to her.
Her eyes widened and her mouth dropped open, a gasp of air escaping her lips. Her hand raised up
as if to touch me. Closer and closer she came…and that‟s when I heard the front door open.
Chapter 9.
I wasn‟t much of one for vulgarities…but holy fucking shit! Here I was standing on top of Esme‟s
coffee table naked, Bella‟s hand only about an inch away from my engorged penis, and my entire
family staring at me from the entryway.
I would like to say that I was able to hop down and quickly redress myself while maintaining some
sense of decorum. Sadly, that was not the case. I stupidly stood there frozen and immobile, my
brain failing to function as a result of shock. Bella hadn‟t moved an inch either.
Her face was white as a sheet and I knew it would only be a moment before she really assessed
our predicament. I hoped that the amount of blood that would invariably race to her cheeks
wouldn‟t be enough to burst the capillaries under her skin.
It was one of those hideous moments where everything seems to happen in slow motion and you
are paralyzed, unable to stop the events from unfolding. It was like I could see every tick of the
doorknob moving, every millimeter of floor that the door swept over as it was opened. And as I
stood there, like an naked idiot…scratch that…a naked perverted idiot, I was able to clearly make
out the expression on the faces of my family members.
Esme, the sweetest woman in the world, who had become a mother to me and helped me through
the darkest periods of my life stared at me with an appalled expression on her face before
clamping a hand over her eyes. I couldn‟t imagine a worse sight for her to come home to. I knew I
was like her own son to her, and here I was defiling her living room and coffee table. She was so
thrown by what she had just seen that her thoughts were completely blank.
Carlisle looked uncomfortable. He was shifting his weight around slightly and trying to look at
anything else other than the spectacle that was laid out before him. I can’t believe Edward did this.
I feel like I should have a talk with him, but he’s over 100 years old, hardly a child. What on Earth
has been going on here?
I had a feeling that I was in for a stern lecture from him at the very least. My inner seventeen year
old was shuffling his feet guiltily and looking around for a place to hide. My more responsible side
was preening around like an puffed up peacock telling me „I told you so‟ repeatedly.
Rosalie was conflicted. Her expression stuck somewhere between disgust and amusement at my
current crisis. Well look at this little situation he’s gotten himself into with his human. I may be
starting to like Bella more but this just more proof that having her around causes problems for all
of us. He never would have done something like this before her. Idiot!
My shoulder devil flipped her the bird. It was seconded by a nasty glare from the angel.
With all of the antics that she and Emmett engaged in she had no leeway to be sending scathing
thoughts in my direction now.
Alice was standing next to her, a smug expression on her face and one eyebrow cocked in my
direction. Have you been enjoying yourself Edward?
Jasper was behind Alice looking mischievous. Suddenly I was overcome with wave after wave of
embarrassment while he snickered to himself. As if I needed any assistance with feeling that
emotion right now.
Emmett was grinning from ear to ear and holding…a video camera…WHAT? Gotcha.
Realizing that my…er…manhood was now captured on film had the necessary effect of reanimating
me. In movements so quick they were a blur even to me I speedily redressed and hopped off the
coffee table positioning myself between Bella and my family.
My poor distraught love had buried her burning face in her hands and was beginning to shake
again. This time it wasn‟t with desire. I reached down to softly stroke her hair in an attempt to
comfort her as my family moved into the room. She looked up at me a little timidly.
“So Bella,” Emmett started. “How did you like Eddie‟s junk?” He sat next to her on the couch still
holding up the video camera like he was creating some sort of twisted documentary.
Bella turned towards him, she looked like the proverbial deer in the headlights.
“Um…he‟s…nice…uh…” she spluttered.
“Just nice? Gee Edward, all that waiting and buildup and you get „nice‟. Way to go.”
I growled at him.
“Yeah, growling isn‟t going to up your rating there brother,” he chortled. “Nice….such praise!”
“He‟s beautiful Emmett, all of him. Is that what you wanted to hear? He looks perfect and…big.
Honestly it‟s a little frightening!” Bella yelled at him before putting her hand over her mouth and
turning impossibly redder.
“So what you‟re saying Bella is that the vampire isn‟t scary but the monster in his pants is? Damn
Edward, since you„ve gone soft and can„t terrorize people anymore maybe you should just whip
that out instead.”
Carlisle had moved behind Emmett and cleared his throat loudly. Emmett grinned up at him.
“Yeah?”
“This…situation, is awkward enough Emmett. Perhaps you could find something else to entertain
yourself?”
“Carlisle are you kidding? This is gold! Ooh, maybe we should post it to Youtube!”
Rosalie giggled at the idea.
Esme hissed at him as she crossed the room to sit by Bella. “Absolutely not! You need to stop this
right now and you will hand that memory card over to Edward immediately.” She looked over at
Bella who was partially frozen, her face almost purple. “Oh my dear, let me get you a drink of
water,” she patted Bella‟s knee gently and got up to go to the kitchen.
“Oh please. I wasn‟t going to really do that. They would block it for porn anyway,” Emmett
complained while grudgingly holding out the card. I quickly pocketed it.
“Edward,” Alice said sidling up to me. “I think you have something you want to say to me? Perhaps
about a couple of promises that need to be kept?”
Was she insane? I was pretty sure that she was the one who had led the family to come home at
that exact moment. Normally she was my favorite sister, but right now I had the ungentlemanly
urge to pummel her, after I took down Emmett of course. My inner seventeen year old stuck his
tongue out at her and called her a cock blocker.
I just glared at her to let her know that I wasn‟t falling for it.
She shot me a menacing look in return.
Suddenly I heard Esme make a shocked noise over by the kitchen door. Oh yeah. I probably should
have cleaned up the little mess that I left in there. Carlisle rushed to her side and peered into the
kitchen followed by Jasper.
They all three turned around to look at me.
“Edward why does my kitchen look like a tornado hit it?” Esme asked, irritation lacing through her
words. Her eyes widened. “Oh no.” She pointed her finger between Bella and me. “You didn‟t?” she
gasped.
Carlisle subtly sniffed the air a little while rubbing her arm consolingly. Oh dear god. He was
checking to see if it smelled like sex. How humiliating! I knew that he wouldn‟t be able to detect
anything except for perhaps some of Bella‟s lingering arousal from earlier. Hmmm….I wouldn‟t
mind smelling Bella‟s sex.
You‟re already in enough trouble Edward, don‟t even!
“They didn‟t,” he confirmed gently. I really hope you have a good explanation for all of this
Edward. We will be talking later.
“But, why does Bella look like she‟s been attacked?” Esme insisted, noting my love‟s rumpled and
torn clothing, and disheveled hair.
Bella buried her face in my chest getting more mortified by the moment.
I wrapped my arms around her protectively, rubbing her back and pressing her against me.
Hmmm….I wouldn‟t mind rubbing her front.
Knock it off Edward!
I needed to try to diffuse the situation. But now that my carefully caged desires had been let loose
I was finding it difficult to formulate coherent thoughts.
Alice giggled. Should I explain Bella’s appearance Edward?
“That wouldn‟t be helpful right now,” I hissed out under my breath.
I could feel Bella tense up. She lifted her head from her chest and clenched her jaw.
“Edward thought it would be best to protect my virtue,” she ground out.
Esme gave me a confused look. “How does destroying her clothes and my kitchen protect her
virtue Edward?”
Oh crap. How do I explain this?
“Uh…well…” I started.
“Edward tried to trick me into thinking that we‟d…” Bella trailed off. Her eyes looked a little teary
and I could tell from her facial expression that she was both hurt and embarrassed with the
admission. I‟d wounded my angel so much. I wouldn‟t blame her if she never forgave me.
Esme looked at me like I was insane. “You didn‟t really think that you could fake something like
that did you Edward?”
At the time it seemed like a brilliant idea, but it really wasn‟t well thought out. I‟d been battling too
long with the different sides of my personality and I needed to pull myself together as soon as
possible. I very carefully tried to re-establish my self-control.
“No, I suppose I wasn‟t thinking very clearly. I owe Bella an apology for acting so foolishly and I
owe you one as well for creating the scene in the kitchen and living room. I promise to make
amends.” I stroked Bella‟s cheek lovingly as I spoke, hoping to convey that I would keep my word
to make this up to her. Her eyes met mine with a look of forgiveness. She was divine in her
selflessness.
“What I don‟t understand is what would possess you to act so foolishly, it‟s so unlike you.”
I mulled over the idea of confessing everything to her, but I didn‟t want to get anyone else into
trouble. While Alice and Emmett had behaved deplorably with their little prank, my own behavior
had been so callous and reckless that their actions seemed almost innocent by comparison.
Bella‟s nose scrunched up. Her eyes narrowed into narrow glazed slits.
At that moment Alice„s expression became distant and thoughtful for the briefest second. Bella! Uh
oh!
When she snapped out of it her eyes were huge and she began walking quickly towards the back
door. Emmett watched her attempt to leave with a pensive frown on his face.
“Well it all started when Alice and Emmett put drugs in my coke,” Bella stated.
Chapter 10.
Alice almost made it out of the house in time……almost.
Before she could completely extricate her from the precarious situation that we were all in Carlisle
stopped her with two words.
“Family meeting,” he said in the strict and unhappy tone of voice that he very rarely used with any
of us.
The family dynamic at the house was complicated to say the least. We did consider ourselves a
family instead of a coven, and Carlisle and Esme had clearly taken on the parental roles for us. On
the flip side, the youngest of their ‟children‟ was nearing 90.
Although I knew that Carlisle was very disappointed with us, I wondered what he planned on doing
considering the precarious balance between authority an autonomy that ruled the house. He was
keeping his thoughts blank and obviously hadn‟t made any definite decisions as Alice, despite her
desperate attempts, was completely unable to get a read on what he had in store.
We guiltily shuffled into the dining room and took our positions around the table. Carlisle seated at
the head with Esme standing behind him. Oh boy, it was the unified front approach. My inner
seventeen year old quickly hid his car keys down his pants.
Bella sat next to me, still visibly fuming. I reached out my hand to her tentatively worrying that
she would slap me away and tell me never to touch her again. I couldn‟t blame her if she hated me
after tonight.
Fortunately, karma must have decided that my naked humiliation had been enough punishment as
she took my hand in hers and squeezed it gently. I relished in the feeling of her warm soft skin on
mine and even more, the feeling of the engagement ring on her finger. It was almost enough to
offset the dread I felt at the upcoming conversation that we had all been dragged into.
Carlisle had taken a moment to give Bella a close look. Although her pulse and blood pressure
sounded perfectly fine, he wanted to make sure that her chemical cocktail hadn‟t had any adverse
physical effects. Once he was satisfied he began the discussion.
“I have to say I am rather surprised and disappointed with what I‟ve seen here tonight,” he
started. “Bella is a part of this family and deserves to be treated with a little respect, obviously that
hasn‟t happened.”
Waves of guilt washed over me when I listened to his words. It was no more than the truth. My
more responsible side was clucking his tongue at me remonstratively.
Esme looked over at Alice and Emmett. “You two need to tell me what possessed you to give Bella
drugs right now.”
Emmett was trying to look around innocently. La la la la la la la, I don’t hear anything about
drugging Bella, la la la la la la la la la la. Maybe I can claim it was Alice’s idea.
Alice glared at him. That little shit…okay BIG shit….he’s going to try to pin this all on me,
unbelievable….maybe I’ll tell him big collared shirts and double knit pants are back in style and
redo his wardrobe. Once she had run through a few hundred possible revenge scenarios she looked
at Bella and her thoughts took on a more remorseful tenor…or so I thought.
“Well,” Alice began, “Edward was feeling very frustrated because Bella wasn‟t communicating
openly with him. Emmett thought it would be funny to slip her something to change that for a
couple of hours. Now normally I would never go for doing that to someone, but in this instance I
decided to help because it seemed like a good way to get Edward and Bella to open up to each
other.”
WHAT?! She was going to pin this on us?
Alice took on a demeanor that somehow managed to be both contrite and self-righteous as she
continued. “I mean, I love them both so much and I want nothing more than for their marriage to
be a success, but communication is key to that. I was hoping that by opening the lines of dialog for
them it would help. Really it was more like a form of pre-marital counseling than anything else.”
Wow…..if Alice ever felt the need to experience a career in politics that spin doctoring would come
in handy. She was trying to convincingly sell drugging Bella as a form of pre-marital counseling,
really!? My shoulder angel quirked his head at her, shocked by the evilness of her ability to twist
words, the devil was grinning as he studiously took notes for future reference.
Carlisle and Esme just stared at her for a minute. They knew she was full of it, but weren‟t quite
sure how to argue with her.
“Well Alice, that was a very interesting excuse. Perhaps we should hear from Emmett as well?”
Carlisle muttered before pointedly looking at my jerk of a brother.
Emmett quickly jumped on the Alice bandwagon.
“Pre-martial counseling, yep. Those two need it and…uh…I don‟t think that our …erm …way of life
would go over to well with a traditional counselor, I mean, what would they say? Hi, I‟m Edward,
I‟m an immortal vampire virgin and I‟d really like to drink my fiancée‟s blood. We‟re having issues
because I‟m a know-it-all mind reader but she‟s messed up in the head so I can‟t eavesdrop on her
and she won‟t tell me what she‟s thinking. Pretty sure they‟d have you committed, or run
screaming.”
Oh good lord, now he was on a roll. Jasper wasn‟t helping as he unsuccessfully tried to stifle his
snickering from his seat across the table. Rosalie just looked bored.
“But hey, maybe Bella could back you up by telling them how much she wants you to bite her after
you shag her rotten of course. Perhaps they could touch on her issues with marriage and fear of all
gifts…doubt they could help with the clumsiness thing though.”
Emmett had a very self satisfied expression on his face. I Can just imagine that, human/vampire
pre-marital counseling. That might be a fun game to play with Rosie. Perhaps she could be a frail
little human and I could be the big bad vampire. Oh Yeah.
I didn‟t need to overhear that.
Apparently he was planning on doing it as Alice began cringing and looked like she was about to
gag. Oh gross. I really wish he didn’t feel the need to plan out his sexcapades in advance.
Bella distracted me by grabbing the table firmly; she was clearly annoyed by Emmett‟s comments
and she was blushing furiously. I couldn‟t help but notice that the tension in her grasp was such
that her knuckles were white with the effort. Hmmm…..I wouldn‟t mind if she was grabbing the
table while I was grabbing her….perhaps bending her over it.
Before I could mentally chastise myself for the extreme inappropriateness of my thoughts I was
interrupted by Alice‟s.
I looked over to see her eyes widened in surprise and her mouth hanging open. Oh my God! Her
mind was flooded with a very graphic vision of Bella and myself in this very room and we were….oh
my! It’s a good thing for you that we don’t actually eat at this table Edward. Have some respect for
the other people who live here.
My inner seventeen year old wanted to run a victory lap around the room.
The shoulder devil carefully placed Alice‟s vision in my „intimate moments‟ file for perusing
later….while I was…alone.
“Well Emmett and Alice, I understand your concerns for Edward and Bella, but that is something
best left up to them to figure out. Regardless of your good intentions,” Carlisle emphasized sternly,
“it was still inappropriate for you to take it upon yourselves to slip Bella a controlled substance.”
Alice and Emmett squirmed a little in their seats.
“I really think that the two of you owe her at the very least an apology and perhaps you ought to
consider what reparations you might make to atone for what you‟ve done,” Carlisle said severely.
“Sorry Bella,” they both chimed in.
“Bella, I promise I‟ll take you on the best shopping trip ever to make up for this,” Alice said batting
her eyelashes at my fiancée and smiling sweetly.
“Um, don‟t reparations mean that you do something nice for me? I don‟t think shopping falls into
that category,” Bella quickly countered.
While Alice attempted to prove her shopping point to Bella, Esme was making other plans.
She was looking at Bella and smiling slightly, as if a weight had been taken off of her shoulders. It
was rather disturbing walking in on them today, but at the same time I’m so happy that Edward is
able to, well…function. I don’t want to discourage them, but I can’t have that going on in the living
room. If only they had a space of their own…that’s it! The cottage. It’s the perfect opportunity for
Emmett and Alice to make amends as well.
She caught my glance. Oh…what do you think Edward? Would the cottage be a suitable gift for you
and Bella when you return from your honeymoon?
In couldn‟t think of anything more perfect. I silently nodded, answering her question with a grateful
smile.
Alice‟s visions quickly picked up the decision and I caught a brief glimpse of her and Emmett
covered in sheetrock dust, bits of cement and grime as they labored away on our future home. Her
eyes narrowed slightly and she let out a sigh, resigned to her fate. It might even be enough for me
to forgive what I was certain was a planned intrusion on her part at the most inopportune moment.
My more responsible side snottily reminded me that the interruption saved my virtue as well as
Bella‟s. My inner seventeen year old glared at him and held up a roll of duct tape threateningly.
I pinched the bridge of my nose trying to calm all of my conflicting thoughts. Love and lust,
responsibility and desire, gratitude and anger. Perhaps I needed more than just pre-marital
counseling.
“Bella, what can we do to make this better?” Carlisle asked.
Bella sighed. “I don‟t need anyone to do anything. I appreciate the offer, but I‟d be happy with just
a promise that there won‟t be any repeat performances.”
Hmmmm…..repeat performances….Bella„s body would make an excellent stage for some of the
scenes I wanted to act out, repeatedly.
Good lord Edward could you be any more of a degenerate?
Carlisle nodded in understanding. Truly a remarkable girl. Edward, I am so glad that you found
Bella. But I think that perhaps we should talk after she’s asleep tonight. It seems like there are
some….issues that bear discussion.
I nodded quickly, although the conversation would have its uncomfortable moments, I knew that
Carlisle would be the best person to discuss my questions and conflicting thoughts with. The more
time I spent with Bella, the more depraved I seemed to get. Perhaps he would be able to provide
some guidance in this area before I finally snapped and lost every shred of my self control.
Bella yawned and rolled her shoulders uncomfortably. That‟s when I realized the late hour. How
inconsiderate could I be? She had been through so much today and here we were neglecting one of
her most basic needs.
Esme noticed Bella‟s exhaustion as well and fluttered over, patting her shoulder gently.
“You must be so tired, we‟ll take care of everything here and I assure you, nothing like this will
ever happen again,” she said soothingly before placing a motherly kiss on top of Bella‟s head.
“But the kitchen…” Bella started.
“Emmett will take care of that, won‟t you Emmett? It‟s the least he can do,” Emse insisted.
“Yeah, I‟ve got it,” Emmett muttered. Rosalie rolled her eyes a little indignant that her husband
was put on clean up patrol.
Bella noted Rosalie‟s irked expression and I could tell that she was about to offer to help but I
stopped her.
“Love, it would be best if you had some rest, between the late hour and everything you‟ve been
through tonight your body needs some sleep,” I said while gently caressing her arm. I looked
meaningfully at Jasper hoping he would help me convince her. She had to rest and didn‟t need to
deal with Rosalie‟s attitude or anything else embarrassing tonight; I would come back down and
finish any leftover discussions later.
He quickly picked up on my silent request and sent soothing waves of calm interlaced with
exhaustion in her direction.
“I suppose I should turn in,” she replied sleepily. “Goodnight everyone.”
As she rose to go upstairs, Alice came over to give her a quick hug.
She’ll love the cottage Edward. We’ll make sure it’s just right for her. Alice smiled at me as her
thoughts began to drift to the pale wood floors and quirky furnishings that would become a part of
our little retreat. Plus I’m going to add an amazing closet for Bella to get all dressed up in! I’ll
make sure Emmett doesn’t get too carried away once he finds out what we’re doing.
I rolled my eyes. Alice may be Bella‟s best friend, but she really was delusional at times when it
came to Bella‟s likes and dislikes. Jasper was smiling as he picked up on Alice‟s building
enthusiasm.
After she had her „human moment‟, and was ready to settle in for the night I tucked her into the
gold covered bed in my, no our, room.
“I‟m so sorry about tonight love,” I said while kissing her forehead gently.
She snorted. “You worry too much. It was embarrassing, and I really wouldn‟t mind getting back at
Emmett and Alice for what they did, but at the same time they do have a point about
communication. Besides,” she smiled sexily at me, “you wound up revealing way more than I did.”
If I could have blushed I would have.
Bella noted my sheepish expression and lifted her head to whisper in my ear. “I can‟t wait for you
to be revealed to me again.”
My inner seventeen year old immediately began ripping off his clothes, he was stopped by my
more responsible side pouncing on him.
“Soon, my love,” I promised as I kissed her one last time.
Then I went back downstairs to have my talk with Carlisle, hoping that the rest of the family would
only have minimal involvement.
Chapter 11.
I trudged down the stairs one at a time, thinking of what Carlisle would say to me.
He was pacing around in his study making notes about his recent lupine test results that he'd
ordered on Jacob's blood; purposefully distracting himself from the conversation he was planning
on having with me.
I swallowed hard as I tried to make out the thoughts of my family.
Heh, Edward’s going to hear the same lecture I got when Carlisle caught Rosalie and me on his
desk last year, Emmett thought training his ears towards the study. He was eagerly anticipating
overhearing Carlisle give me a long lecture about respecting other people‟s space.
The devil reminded me that technically the living room was everyone‟s space, including mine to
use.
My more responsible side screamed back at him that I needed to have some sense of decorum.
Rosalie was bored with the whole thing. The only issue still on her mind was the fact that Esme had
informed everyone that Emmett and Alice would be helping to rebuild the cottage in the woods for
us. She was disgruntled at having her time with her husband interrupted.
Alice, having already seen what Carlisle planned to say to me no doubt was mentally singing the
song that never ends to prevent me from getting any glimpses. How annoying.
Jasper nudged her picking up on my disgruntled state nearly two stories above.
Calm down Edward, it’s really nothing. I swear you get worked up far too easily, she chastised me.
Easy for her to say; she already knew her fate.
Esme was already sitting at her desk, blueprints in front of her and her hand moving at lightning
speed across the page as added details and marked structural changes for my future home.
I made it to the door of the study, and turned the knob.
Carlisle was waiting for me at his desk, a sheaf of papers in his hand.
Please make yourself comfortable Edward, he thought gesturing for me to take a seat. This will
only take a minute.
He returned to his printouts, and worked on organizing them, stopping to make notes in his
journal.
I sighed and took a seat, it would give me a moment to think before he began.
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