Devouringthe

SECRET

Book#2ofCorrigan&Co.

ByCrystalPerkins

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http://www.allbookedout.com/

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ABOUTDEVOURINGTHESECRET

Astringoftragedieshavemadehercoldandcalculated

FaithistheCorrigan&Co.Foundation’smostsuccessfulagent.Seekingjusticeforothersistheonly
thingthatguidesher.Untilshemeetsasexystranger,andgivesintoanightofpassion.Whenheturns
outtobeasuspectinthemissionshe’sassignedtosoonafter,she’llhavetodecideifit’sworththe
risktoletlovebackintoherlife.

Hewasbornwithasilverspoon,butonlywantsachef’shat

Gavin can’t stop thinking about the woman he let go with for one night. When Faith shows up to
interviewforajobashismother ’spersonalchef,heknowsthatworkingwithhersidebysideinthe
kitchenwillbetorture.Untiltheybothgiveintowhattheyfeel,anditbecomessomuchmore.

They’rebothhidingfromeachother,andthepast

WhileFaithtriestoremainimpartial,Gavinstruggleswiththeneedtoprotecthismother—andwhat
hebelievesin.Thereareforcesbiggerthanthetwoofthemworkingbehindthescenes,andtheylearn
thatyoucan’toutrunthepast,nomatterhowhardyoutry.Istheirlovestrongenoughtomakethem
stayandfightforit,orwillrunningbetheonlyoption?

Secrets can multiply, and the biggest SECRET that’s revealed could bring down the entire
foundation.Lovealonemaynotbeenoughtosavethem,butfriendshipandloyaltyjustmight.

OTHERBOOKSBYCRYSTALPERKINS

TheGriffinBrothersseries

GamingForLove(TheGriffinBrothers#1)

BuildingOurLove(TheGriffinBrothers#2)

CreatingALove(TheGriffinBrothers#3)

LearningToLove(TheGriffinBrothers#4)

DesigningTheLove(TheGriffinBrothers#5)

WorkingOnLove(TheGriffinBrothers#6)

Corrigan&Co.series

FieldingHerSECRET(Corrigan&Co.#1)

Publicly, The Corrigan & Co. Foundation has been supporting women for years. Secretly, five
powerfulwomenledbyJaneCorriganhaverecruitedtenagents,sendingthemtorescuewomenand
children in need, and take down those who exploit the weak. This secret society of women all have
unique skills they’ve brought to the foundation. Additionally, they’ve all had training in weapons,
etiquette, martial arts, technology, and languages. Helping out friends and family of their five
mentorsfromtimetotimeissomethingtheyweretoldtoexpect.Whattheydidn’tplanforisfalling
inlove.

AbouttheCorrigan&Co.FoundationandtheSociety:

•MitchellCorrigancreatedtheCorrigan&Co.Foundationforhiswifeaspartofhiscompanyten
yearsago.HestipulatedthatthefoundationwouldcontinueaslongasthereisaCorriganwomanto
overseeit.

• Jane Corrigan, Cyndi Evans, Maggie Griffin, Mallory Daniels, and Helen Wilson are the
foundersofthesecretsocietywithinthefoundation.Theyfocusonhelpingwomenandchildren,
buttakeonothermissionsfromtimetotime.

• While they assist government and private organizations on a regular basis, they only take
referralsforprivatemissions.

•Eachfounderhasrecruited,andmentors,twoagents.

• The company was founded in Chicago, but has now moved to Las Vegas, where Mitchell was
born.Onhisdeathbed,heaskedhisgrandsontomovethecompanyheadquarterstohelprevivethe
economyinhishometown.Therearesatelliteofficesallovertheworld.

•Jane’sgrandson,Matt,whoisPresidentandCEOofCorrigan&Co.,knowsofthesociety.His
friendsNathanandAiden,whohebroughtinwhentheyallleftthemilitary,knowaswell.Thiswas
adecisionbythefivewomenwhentheyneededhelponamissionthatwentbad.Theydonotknow
allmissiondetails,buthelpwhentheyareasked.

This series is also dedicated to Sherlock Holmes, John Watson, James Bond, Jason Bourne, Indiana
Jones,RemingtonSteel,NealCaffrey,PeterBurke,Chuck,MyronBolitar,WindsorHarmonLockwood
III,AlexDelaware,MiloSturgis,Monk,Columbo,JamesRockford,Starsky&Hutch,MagnumP.I.,The
A-Team, Bruce Wayne, The Hardy Boys, and their creators. I’ve loved watching and reading about
thesemenandtheiradventuresjustasmuchasIlovethewomenIdedicatedtheseriestoaswell.

PROLOGUE

Faith

I’mhappyforAinsley.Zack’sagreatguy,andshedeservesthefairytale.JustbecauseIrealizethat,

itdoesn’tmeanIwanttoseeit.Idon’twanttosettledown,butaboyfriendwouldbenice.I’vebeen
doing so many missions and pretend caterings lately that it’s made finding one impossible. I can’t
evenrememberthelasttimeIhadsex,andIreallyneedthatrelease.

“Notovertherecelebratingwiththehappycouple?”
Ilooknexttomeandseeagorgeousguywithshortblackhair,anddarkbrowneyes,lookingatme

with a cocky smile on his face. He looks a little familiar, but honestly so does everyone lately.
BetweenthemissionsandfakecateringI’mprettysureI’veseenthewholecityinthelastfewmonths.

“Icongratulatedthem.”
“Soyoucangetoutofherethen.”
“Withyou?”
“Yes,withme.I’vebeenwatchingyouallnight.”
“Stalkermuch?”
Ishouldbefreakedout,butI’malittleturnedon.He’shotandhewantsme.I’veneverbeenaone

nightstandgirllikesomeofmyfriends,butIwanttoleavewithhim.Iwanttodosomethingwildand
fun,justforme.Besides,it’snotlikeIcouldn’ttakehimdownifitcametothat.

“Interestedisamoreappropriateword.Iwanttogetyououtofthattightbluedress,andwrapthat

sexylonghairofyoursaroundmyhandwhileIfuckyouhard.”

Oh. He’s one of them. Dammit. I’m not cutting my hair just because the weirdos like it. “I’m not

intoguyswithahairfetish.Sothanksbutnothanks.”

Istarttomove,butheplaceshishandonmyarm.“Idon’thaveahairfetish.Inormallycouldcare

lesswhatawoman’shairlookslike.Yourhairisjustpartofwhatintriguesmeaboutyou.Idowantto
pullit,though.Iwon’tlie.”

“WhatdoIgettopullinreturn?”
“Anythingyouwant.I’mhappytobeyourplaything.”
“Let’sgetoutofherebeforeIchangemymind.”

***

Gavin

Faithwasinchargeofthemenutonight.Shethinksherhairturnsmeon?Iwonderhowshe’dfeel

ifsheknewherfoodisevensexiertome.I’dnoticedherbeforeIate.Whowouldn’t?She’sgoton
oneofthosesexybandagestyledressesinabrightblue.Itgoesallthewaytothefloor,butit’ssexy
ashell.It’sgotadeepvneckwithacoupleofthestrapscrossingoverthetop.I’vebeenitchingtoget
myhandsinsidethatvtocaresshersmall,butperfectlookingbreasts.

Then there’s the hair. I mean what I said about not having a fetish, but damn if I couldn’t be

persuadedtotakeuponeafterseeinghers.It’sbrownwithafewredandblondehighlights,anditfalls

inlayerstoherwaist.Idon’tjustwantitwrappedaroundmyhands,Ialsowanttofeelitwhippingmy
chestassheridesme.

Whenyougetpastherbodyandhair,herfaceisnolessremarkable.Brownalmond-shapedeyes,a

cutelittlenose,highcheekbones,andlushlipscombinetomakeheroneofthemoststunningwomen
I’veeverseen.AndI’veseenmyfairshare.

Butit’sherfoodthatmademeboldenoughtoapproachher.Hermenufortonightwasdecadent,

butsimple.Everythingsheusedwasorganic,butshehiditwellenoughthatthesnobswouldn’tturn
uptheirnose.IwasinheavenfromthefirstbiteItook.IknewIhadtohaveher.

I’m being reckless tonight, and I know it. I may have seen quite a few women in my life, but I

haven’tbeddedasmanyasIcouldhave.IhavetobeselectiveaboutwhoIchoose,andfordating,I
don’tnormallyhaveachoice.Mymother,orsomeonefromherstaff,choosesforme.Shewouldkill
meifsheknewIwasfollowingsomeonehomewithoutevenknowinghername.Idon’tcare.Iwant
thiswoman,andforonceI’mgoingtodosomethingformyself.

***

Faith

I shouldn’t be bringing him back to my place, but I know I’ll be safe here, so this is where I’m

takinghim.Istopattheguardgatetolethimcatchupandtellthemtolethimin.Iparkinmyspotand
waitforhimattheelevator.Hereachesformyhand,andIlethimtakeit.Wewalkacrossthelobby
likethat,holdinghands.Theguysinthelobbyraisetheireyebrows,butIsmileatthemandtheyrelax.

We take the interior elevator to my floor. I start getting nervous the second we step out. My

apartment’snotexactlynormal,soIhopehedoesn’tfreakoutandrun.Iopenmydoorandpullhim
insideafterme.

“Whoa.”Istiffen.“Thisisamazing.”
Ispintofacehim.“Youlikeit?”
“What’s not to love about this kitchen? I wish my place had a kitchen taking up two-thirds of the

livingspace.”

“Youliketocook?”
“Ilovetocook.”
Ireachforhimandcrushmylipstohis.Westumblealittle,buthesteadiesus.Hestartspullingme

towardsthegiantislandinthemiddleoftheroom,andIlethim.He’skissingandbitingmyneckasI
pullhisjacketoffandstartworkingonhistie.

“Wedon’tneedourclothesoffthistime.Ijustneedtobeinsideofyou.”
“Yes.”OhGod,yes.Iwantithereinmykitchen.
He turns me around and pushes my dress up to my hips. He runs his hands over my ass before

tearingmythongoff.IbendovertheislandandbracemyselfasIhearhispantsdroptothefloorand
thenthatunmistakablesoundoffoilbeingrippedopen.

“Areyouready,chef?”
“Yes.”
HeentersmeinonethrustandIcryoutfromhowgooditfeels.“Youlikeit.”
“Ido.”
Ifeelhimtwistmyhairaroundhishandanditstingsalittlewhenhetugsonit.Hedoesn’tpullso

hardthatithurtsme,justenoughtoincreasethepleasureI’mfeeling.

“Touchyourself.Idon’tknowhowlongIcanwaitforyou.”

Idowhathecommandsmeto,rubbingcirclesaroundmyclit.Hestartssuckingandbitingmyneck

again,andIarchbackintohimasIcome.Hefollowsprettyquicklyafterme.Westandtherefora
momentaswebothtrytocatchourbreath.

“Ihopeyouhavemorecondoms,becauseIobviouslydidn’tdoagoodjobthattime.”
“Itwasgreat.Ipromise.”
“Youdidn’tscream.”
“Oh.Idon’tdothat.Scream,Imean.”
“Youwillforme.”
“Youcantrytomakeme,butIpromiseyou,I’mnotawomanwholosescontrol.”
“Wannabet?”
“Sure.”
Heturnsmearoundandhasmeleanbackasheputshishandsinsidethetopofmydress.Igaspas

hepinchesmynipples.“Losercooksbreakfastinthemorning.”

InodbecauseifIopenmymouth,I’mscreaming.GoodthingIlovetocookbreakfast.

***

Gavin

She screamed last night. More than once. It was hands down the best night of my life, and even

thoughIwon,I’mcookingbreakfast.WhenIwokeupwithherinmyarms,IknewIwasintrouble.I
couldn’tjustwalkoutonher.

“IwassupposedtocooksinceIlostthebet.”
“Iknow,butIwantedtocookforyou.”
“Nooneevercooksforme,sothankyou.”
“You’reverywelcome.”
“I’mFaith,bytheway.”
“Gavin,”Itellher,wishingthatItoldhersoonersoshewould’vescreamedmynameasshecame.

Toolateforthatnow.

“Idon’tnormallydo…this…soI’mnotsurehowthisworks.”
“Wehaveanicebreakfasttogether,fuckagainifyouwant,andthenIgoonmyway.”
“Doyouwanttoseemeagain?”
“Yes.ButIcan’t.”
“Oh…?Oh!You’renotmarriedareyou?Pleasetellmeyou’renotmarried.”
“I’mnotmarried,Faith.AndIdon’thaveagirlfriend.I’mnotthetypeofguywhowouldsleepwith

anotherwomanwhileIwaswithsomeoneelse.Mylife’sjustcomplicated,andasmuchasIlikeyou,
thishastojustbeaone-timething.”

“Okay.Well,thanksforbreakfast.”
WeeatinsilenceandIhateit.Wehadsomuchfunlastnight,andnowit’sjustawkward.There’s

nothing I can do about it, though. A chef wouldn’t be up to my mother ’s standards and until I can
untangle myself from her, I’m stuck. Once we finish eating, I get dressed and kiss her softly at the
doorbeforeleaving.

***

Faith

I’mwithmymentor,Cyndi,waitingforthewomanIneedtoimpressformynextmission.She’sa

senator who likes to spend her off time here in Vegas. Winter recess was just announced, so she’s
gettingherhouseready.WepaidhernormalcheftoquitsoIcantakeoverandworkundercoverin
herhouse.

Eithershe,orsomeonewhoworksforher,ispassingalongstatesecretstothehighestbidder.This

wasalastminutething,soIwasn’tabletogooverherfile.Ionlyknowthatshe’sveryconservative,
andrunsherhouse—andherfamily—withanironfist.Funtimesaheadforme.

She’s been after Cyndi’s support for years. With the platform she runs on, she’ll never get that

support,butCyndi’susingthepromiseofittobaitherintohiringherfavoritechef.Me.I’veprepared
oneofmyfavoritedishes,andIhopeshelikesitwellenoughtohireme.

While we wait, I think about Gavin. It’s been two weeks since we were together, but I can’t stop

thinkingabouthim,andwhatwedid.Iwantarepeat,andI’vehadtostopmyselffromaskingAinsley
tofindhim,onmorethanoneoccasion.

“Sorry we’re late. My son was being difficult this morning. I’m sure you understand that, Cyndi.

Yourfamilyhadsomelittlescandalafewyearsago,didn’tthey?”

“My granddaughter ’s marriage wasn’t a scandal, it was a blessing. We’re not here to talk about

family,though.Faithhaspreparedsomethingwonderfulforyou.”

“There’snoneedforthat.Mysonwillbetheonedoingmostoftheactualcooking.”
“Yoursoncooks?”Cyndiasks.Thiscoulddefinitelybeaproblem.
“Yes, but I have to keep up appearances, so I hire a fake chef. I mean, how would it look for

everyonetoknowmysonisaworld-classchefwhodoesthecookingwhenweentertain?Ifhe’sout
withasuitablegirl,orhasotherplans,thechefcanfillin.Butnoonecooksbetterthanmyson.”

“I’msureFaithcouldhandlethat.”
Thesenatorlooksatmethen.“AreyouAsian,dear?”
“I’mpartChinese,yes.”
“Idon’twantfriedriceeverynightyoucook.”
“That’senough,Mother.She’shired.”
Mybreathcatchesinmythroatasweallturntohim.I’drecognizethatvoiceanywhere.Gavinis

thesenator ’sson,andI’minbiggertroublethanIimagined.

CHAPTER1

Faith

“Wecan’tjusttakeyouoffthiscasewithoutareason,Faith.”
“Wecan’ttakeheroffofitperiod,Cyndi.”
“Please,Reina.I-Ican’tdothisone.”
“Youhavetotellmewhy.Youknowthere’snoonewhocanreplaceyou.Hell,I’mluckyifIcan

boilwaterwithoutburningit.”

We’reinthesmallconferenceroomattheCorrigan&Co.Foundationoffices.CyndiandIcame

straighthereafterweleftthemeetingwithGavinandhismother.ShefreakedoutwhenIturneddown
the job offer, especially when I refused to tell her why. Reina, the second in command for both the
FoundationandtheSociety,isgrillingme.

“Isleptwithhim.”
“Him?”
“Gavin.IsleptwithGavinthenightoftheFoundationball.Ididn’tknowwhohewas.”
“Seriously?Youdon’thaveonenightstands,andyou’venevermentionedhim.”
“Iknow.Iwasjusttiredfrombacktobackmissionsandfakecateringjobs.Iwantedtorelaxand

feelgoodforonce.Itwasbetterthangood,andhemademeanamazingbreakfastbeforeheleftinthe
morning. I didn’t say anything because I was embarrassed. I’m usually the one who’s most in
control.”

“Beforeheleft?Youtookhimtoyourapartment?”
“Yes,Cyndi.Ifeltsafethere.SinceIdidn’tknowwhohewas,or…”
“Orwhat?”
Oh God. This is mortifying. But I have to tell them. “I didn’t know his name until the next

morning.”

Idropmyheadintomyhandsandgroan.Cyndipatsmeontheback.
“We’veallbeenthere,dear.It’sjustunfortunatethatitwasGavinwhoyouchosetofinallyletloose

with.”Herphonestartsringing,andshesmileswhenshelooksdown.“Well,well,well.Lookwho’s
calling.Hello,Gavin,”shesaysassheanswers.“Yes.She’srightherewithme.”

Ishakemyheadno,buttakethephonewhenReinagivesmeher“boss”look.We’regoodfriends,

butshe’sthebossfirst.Shehastobe.ItakethephonefromCyndiandputittomyear.

“Hello.”
“Don’thangup,Faith.Please.”
“Okay.”
“Takethejob.”
“Ican’t.YouknowIcan’t.”
“Itwasjustonenight.We’rebothadults.Thisdoesn’tneedtobeaproblem.”
That’showhefeels?He’soverit?Isquaremyshoulders.Well,ifhecandoit,socanI.
“Fine.It’snotaproblem,andyou’reright,thenightmeantnothing.I’lltakethejob.”
“Good.Canyoubehereatninetomorrowmorning?”

“IthoughtIwasonlygoingtobethereforshow.That’swhatyourmothersaid.”
“Whatmymothersays,andwhatIactuallywant,aregenerallytwoverydifferentthings.Iateyour

foodattheball,andthere’snowayinhellthatI’mgoingtohaveyouworkforus,butnotcook.”

“Icanbethereatnine.”
“I’llseeyouthen.Oh,andFaith.”
“Yes?”
“Wearyourhairup,please.”
He hangs up before I can respond. I drop the phone on the table and bang my head on it. This is

goingtobebad.Reallybad.Ialreadyknowthatmyheart’snotgoingtomakeitoutofthismissionin
onepiece,butI’mhopingmysoulsurvives.

***

Gavin

I hang up the phone and slide down the wall to sit on the floor. I lied to Faith. What we shared

wasn’tjustaonenightthing.She’sthefirstthingIthinkaboutwhenIwakeupeverymorningandthe
lastfaceIseewhenIfallasleep.Let’snotevengetstartedonthedreamsIhaveabouther.

Ishouldn’thavehiredher.Iknowit’sabadidea,formorethanonereason.ButIhadto.Iwanther.

That’sanevenworseidea.Yes,Icontrolthepursestringssincemyfatherleftmeeverythinginhis
will,butmymotherstillhasanemotionalholdonme.OneIhaven’tbeenabletobreakin27years.I
don’tseethatchanginganytimesoon,eventhoughFaithmakesmewanttobreakthebondsthatare
holdingmeback.It’skindoffunnywhenIthinkaboutit;sheneedsmetomakeherlosecontrol,andI
needhertogainit.

“Gavin,areyouinthere?”
Ijumptomyfeetandopenthepoolhousedoor.“WhereelsewouldIbe,Mother?”
“Well,Iwashopingyou’dbewithElizabeth.Shetoldmethatsheinvitedyoutolunchtoday.She’sa

perfectmatchforyou.”

“No.Shereallyisn’t.”
“Youknowhowimportantprojectingtherightimageis.Forourfamilyandmycareer.”
“I’m not going to do this forever. Be the doll that you put on display to help you win votes.

Shouldn’twhatIwantmatter?”

“Youdon’tknowwhatyouwant,Gavin.”
“Actually,Ido.IknowexactlywhatIwant.AndIthinkit’sabouttimeIstartgoingafterit.”
“Don’tbefoolish.”
“You’regoingtobecondescendingtome?Really?Icouldwalkoutthatdoorrightnowandstop

payingallyourbills.”

“Youwouldn’tdothattome.Youlovemetoomuchtoleavemewithnothing.”
That’sthecruxofmywholefuckeduplife.Ilovemymother.Andwebothknowshe’sright.My

father left me everything because he hated her by the time he died. Hated that she’d become the
Stepford version of a politician’s wife instead of the wild and fun woman he’d married. When he
died,shetookhisSenateseat,andit’sonlygottenworse.She’sonlygottenworse.

“Idoloveyou.ButIcan’tlivelikethisanymore.”
“IknowIexpectalot.”
“Youexpectperfection.”
“Ijustwantyoutobethebestyoucanbe.”

“ThebestIcanbeiswhoIwanttobe.Therealme.Notthe‘me’you’vecreatedfortheworldto

see.Idon’twanttofakeitanymore.”

“You’reright.”Sheslumpsinthechairandholdsherheadinherhands.
“Iam?Imean,IknowIam,butIdidn’texpectyoutogiveinsoeasily.”
“I’msosorry.Iam.IlostwhoIwaslongago,butyoudeservetohavewhatyouwant.I’veturned

myself into someone I would’ve steered clear of when I was younger. It’s time I started being the
‘real’me,too.Willyouhelpme?”IsmileasIkneelnexttoherandtakeherhand.“Whatisitthatyou
want,Gav?”

“IwanteveryonetoknowI’machef.AndIwanttodatewhoIwant.Mostofall,Iwanttobeableto

callyou‘Mom’andhaveyouloveme,nomatterwhatIchoose.”

“I could never stop loving you. We’ll tell everyone at the party on Saturday that you’re the chef.

Andyoucanbringwhomeveryou’dlike.”

“Thanks,Mom.”Imeanit,butI’malsoalittlewary.Thisisjusttooeasy.I’lltakewhatIcangetfor

now,though.

“Atleastwedidn’thirethatFaithgirl.”
“Actually,Idid.She’llbeheretomorrow.”
“Wellcallherback.You’reallweneedinthekitchen.”
“No,I’mnot.ItastedherfoodattheCorriganball.She’samazing.We’llworkwelltogether.”
“Injustthekitchen?”
“Ihopenot.”
“Areyouthereasonsheturneddownthejobinitially?”
“Yes.Weweretogetheraftertheball.Shedidn’tknowwhoIwasuntilthismorning.”
“Well,I’msureshe’lllookbeautifulonyourarmonSaturday.”
“I’mnotsurethat’sanoption.Yet.She’snotimpressedwithwhoIam,andIledhertobelievethat

thenightwespenttogethermeantnothingtome.”

“Thisisgoingtobefun.”
“Foryou,maybe.”
“Definitelyforme,andmaybeforher.NowIbetterheadbacktothehouse.Ihavesomespeechesto

plan.I’mnotsuremyconstituentswillbereadyfortherealme,butthey’regettingherwhetherthey
likeitornot.”

“Goget‘em.”
“Iwill,ifyoupromisetogoafteryourgirl.”
“You’regoingtohelp,right?”
“Possibly. First I need to sit back and watch you try on your own. I’ve groomed you to take on

societywomen,whichwon’tserveyouwellwithFaith.ButIthinkthere’senoughofyourfatherin
youtofigureouthowtocaptureherheart.”

Ihopeshe’sright.Istillcan’tbelieveshecavedsoeasily.Iguesstheweightoftryingtobeperfect

wasgettingtoohardforher.I’mglad.NowIjustneedtomakemyplanofattack.BecauseI’mpretty
surewinningoverFaithisgoingtobeharderthanifI’djoinedtheArmyandgonetowar.

***

Faith

I’m nervous as I walk up to the Harris mansion. Gavin’s in there, and I have to pretend like the

nightwespenttogethermeansnothingtome.Thathemeansnothingtome.IknowI’vehadtraining
inhowtohandleallkindsofsituations,butIdidn’treallypayattentiontotheoneshavingtodowith

sex.IhonestlyneverthoughtI’dneedthoselessonssince“control”ispracticallymymiddlename.Or
atleastitusedtobeuntilImetGavin.

Itakeadeepbreathandringthedoorbell.I’mshockedwheninsteadofamaid,it’sSenatorHarris

whoopensthedoor.Andevenmoreshocking,she’sinjeansandat-shirt.

“HiFaith.It’sgreattoseeyouagain.”
Okay.Maybeshehasatwin?Ireadthefilelastnight,anditdidn’tsayshehadatwin,butthiscan’t

beher.

“Hello,SenatorHarris.It’s,umm,nicetoseeyoutoo.”
Shelaughsafullbodylaughthathasherheadfallingback.Iretreatdownthesteps,butstopwhen

Gavinfillsthedoorway.

“You’rescaringher,Mom.”
“Iknow.I’msorry.Iguessthecasualmewilltakesomegettingusedto.”
“It’sreallyyou?”
“DidyouthinkI’dbeenreplacedbyanalien?”
“Secrettwin,actually.”
“Whichwouldbethesanethought.Aliens?Really?”
“What?IwaswatchingManofSteelwhenthedoorbellrang.”
“Ofcourseyouwere.”
Mymouthisopeningandclosing.Idon’tknowwhattosay,orifI’mevensupposedtospeak.The

dynamic between the two of them is nothing like what I saw yesterday. Neither one of them were
casualorrelaxed.Infact,Ithoughttheyhatedeachotherfromhowtheyacted.Nowthey’rehugging
infrontofme.

Thisisjusttooweird.Iturnandstarttowalkbacktomycar.Gavin’sinfrontofmebeforeIreach

it.He’ssmilingatmeasheblocksmypath.

“Whereareyougoing?”
“Home.Imean,thisisjustweird.”
“Yeah.Iguessitwouldlookthatwayfromtheoutside.”
“What’sitlooklikefromtheinside?”
“MymomandIhadatalkyesterday.Webothdecidedthatweshouldbewhowereallyareandstop

tryingtobepeoplewe’renot.”

“That’sgreat.I’mhappyforyou.Itmust’vebeenhardtopretendallthetime.”Iknowhowhardit

is,butIwouldn’ttrademyjobforanything.

“Itwas.”
“SoIguessyoudon’tneedmehereanymore.Topretendtobeyourchef.”Reinawilljusthaveto

figuresomethingelseout.

“Iwasnevergoingtopretendwithyou.Iwanttocookwithyou.Itwould’vealwaysbeenbothof

us.”

“Whyme,Gavin?”
“Whatyoudidattheballwasamazing.Andwhatwedidaftertheball?Well,there’snowordsfor

that.”

“Ithoughtthiswasjustaboutcooking.”
“It’saboutwhateveryouwant.Ifthat’sjustcooking,I’lltakeabunchofcoldshowers.Butifyou

wantmore,I’dbevery,veryhappy.”

I do want more, but I know that’s not a good idea. I’m not completely ready to close the door,

though.“Let’sstartwithcooking,andthen,we’llsee.”

“Deal,”hesaysbeforereachingforthebackofmyneckandpullingmymouthtohis.

Thisisn’tasweetpeckonthecheek.It’ssexy,passionate,andallkindsofwrong.IknowIshould

stop it. Stop him. But I don’t. I can’t. I’ve dreamt of having his lips and tongue again, and I’m
powerlesstogivethemup.HepullsawaybeforeIcanbringmyselftodoit.

“Let’sgomakeagrocerylist.”
Hestartstowalkaway,butIgrabhisarm.
“Whatwasthat,Gavin?Yousaidwehadadeal.”
“We do. I won’t kiss you again unless you ask me to. I just needed that taste of you to hold me

over.”

Asshole.“You’llbewaitingtherestofyourlife,”ItellhimasIwalktowardsthehouse.
“Itoldyouthiswouldbefun,Gav,”theSenatorsaysasIpassher.
“Shutup,Mom.”

***

Gavin

Thelasttwenty-fourhourshavebeenprettysurreal.Whenmymomsaidshewantedtogobackto

being the person she really is, I thought it would take her some time. But it didn’t. We ate in the
kitchenlastnightinsteadoftheformaldiningroom.Andtodayshe’sevenwearingat-shirtandjeans
today that aren’t designer. She said that her public speech is almost done, and I can’t wait. I’m not
worriedaboutpeople’sreactionstothechange.Iftheydon’tlikeit,toobad.

IamworriedabouthowI’mgoingtogetFaithtoletmekissheragain.IsaidI’dwaitforher,but

thatmightjustkillme.Ineverthoughtit’dbepossibletodieofsexualfrustration,butnowit’sareal
fearforme.

“Areyouokay,Gavin?Youlookupset.”
No,I’mnotfuckingokay,IthinkasIgripthekitchenislandeventighter.“Yeah,I’mfine.”
“Youdon’tlookfine.IsittherecipesIsuggested?”
“What?No.Ican’twaittotrythemwithyou.”Andthat’sabigpartoftheproblem.
“Great.Shouldwemakeyourmothersomethingforlunch?”
Ican’tcookwithher.Ican’t.HowdidIthinkthiswasagoodidea?Ohyeah,Ithoughtwe’dpickup

whereweleftoffthatmorninginherapartment.Forsomeidioticreason,Ithoughtshe’dwantmeas
muchasIwanther.Inandoutofthekitchen.

“Shewantsaburgerandfries.I’msureyoucanhandlethatalone.”
“Yeah.Ican.Areyouangryatme?”
“No,Faith.I’mangryatmyself.”
“DoyouwanttotalkaboutitorareshouldIjustexpecttohavetoworkwithyoulikethisallday?”
Shedoesn’tdeservethis.I’mactinglikeaspoiledchildwhohadhisfavoritetoytakenaway.Ineed

togetmyselfundercontrol.“No.Ican’ttalkaboutit.Youshouldn’tbeforcedtobewithmewhenI’m
likethis.I’mgoingtogotryandsortmyselfout.”

“That’sagoodidea.Letmeknowifthere’ssomethingIcandotohelpyou.”
She’stheonlyonewhocan.“Iwill.”
“Oh,beforeyougo.IforgottoaskifIshouldbewearingsomethingspecific.Thisismynormal

uniform,butI’mnotsureifit’sokay.”

Thatcustomblackcoattrimmedindeepred,looseblackpants,andblackclogsaredoingthingsto

me that they shouldn’t. I’ve been telling my brain for the past hour to remember that, but it’s not
working.She’ssexyasfuck.

“Whatyou’rewearingisfine.”

“Andmyhair—it’sokaylikethis?”
IfIdidn’tseetheanxietyinhereyes,I’dthinkshewasreallytryingtokillme.Herhairismostly

upinbraidswrappedaroundherhead,butafewpiecesarehangingdown,temptingme.Iwon’tever
forgethowgooditfelttoholdontothosesexystrandsorfeelthemonmybarechest.IthinkImay
actuallyhaveafetishnow.ButonlyforFaith’shair.Idropmyheadontotheisland.

“Gavin,pleasetellmewhatIcandotohelpyou.You’rescaringmealittle.”
Iliftmyheadtomeethereyes.“Youreallywanttohelpme?”
“Ofcourse.Justtellmewhatyouneed,”shesaysasshecomestostandnexttome,restingherhand

onmyarm.

“IneedyoutoaskmetokissyouFaith.Pleaseaskmetokissyou.”
Hereyeswiden,andinsteadofanswering,sheleansforwardandtoucheshermouthtomine.It’s

justasmallswipeofhermouthagainstmine,butIfeelmyselfrelaxingimmediately.Shedoesitover
andoveragain.Justlittlekissesthatsoothemybodyandsoul.Iforcemyselftokeepmyhandswhere
theyare,resistingtheurgetograbheranddevourhermouth.She’sgivingmethisgift,andIwon’t
screwitup.

Shepullsbackalittle,justenoughtoticklemylipswhenshespeaks.“You’renotparticipating.Did

younotreallywantthis?”

“Oh,Iwantyourmouth.Believeme,Iwantyourmouth.Butyouhaven’tgivenmepermissionyet.”
“Notsogoodatnon-verbalcues,areyou?”
“Yousayingyouwantmetotakecontrol,chef?”
Beforeshecananswer,we’reinterrupted.“Well,thatdidn’ttakelong.Ithoughtyou’dmakemyson

workharderforit.I’mactuallyalittledisappointed,Faith.”

Faithjumpsbackandwalkstooneoftherefrigerators,pullingoutingredientsforlunch.Herhands

areshakingalittle.I’mgoingtokillmymother.

“Whatdidyouwant,Mother?”
“Ohwe’rebackto‘mother ’now,huh?”
“Yes.Yes,weare.”
Shelaughs,andtomysurprise,Faithjoinsin.“Ithoughtyouhadmoreself-confidencethanthis,

Gav.Imean,mylittleinterruptionshouldn’tbeabigdeal.Youcangobacktowhatyouweredoing
afterIleave.Although,Iwouldsuggestthatifyou’retakingthingsfurther,youshouldprobablygoto
thepoolhouse.Idon’tneedtherestofthestafftobescandalized.”

“Ha.Asifanythingwouldscandalizeyourstaff.I’vecaughtthemallincompromisingpositionson

morethanoneoccasion.”

“AshaveI.Although,Iprobablyscaredthemwhiletheyofferedyouachancetojoinin.”
“Mom!”
“Well,didn’tthey?”
“Maybe.”
“I don’t share. Just putting that out there,” Faith says over her shoulder as she starts cooking the

burger.

“NeitherdoI.Justbecausesomeoneasksmesomething,doesn’tmeanI’lldoit.”
Sheturnsthen,smirkingatme.“So,ifIaskedyousomething,youwouldn’tdoit?”
“I’ddoanythingyouaskedmeto.”
“Anything?”sheasksasshelicksherlips.Fuck.
“Yes,anything,”Imanagedtocroakout.
“Great.Ineedthepotatoespeeled.”
“Wh-what?”

“ThepotatoesneedtobepeeledsoIcanfrythem.Youjustsaidyou’ddowhateverIasked.Ordid

youjustmeansexualthings?”

I’mstuckandIknowit.She’sgood.I’llgiveherthat.ButI’mbetter.Ifshewantstoplay,shebetter

beprepared.“Howmanywouldyoulike,chef?”

“Surpriseme.”
“Oh,IlikeyouFaith.Ithinkyou’rejustwhatmysonneeds.I’llbeinthestudyifyoucanletme

knowwhenmylunchisready.”

“Ofcourse.Hopefullymyhelperworksout.Potatoescanbealittletrickytopeel.”Shewalksup

behind me, pressing her body against min as she looks lover my shoulder. “He already missed a
spot.”

Ohreally?Shethinksshe’sfunny?Well,gameonFaith.Gamefuckingon.

CHAPTER2

Faith

This is my third day working for Gavin and his mom. They’re having a dinner party tomorrow,

andthemenu’sgoingtobeawesome.GavinandIcombinedrecipestomakeiteclecticandfun.Itwill
beverydifferentfromwhattheynormallyserve,butthat’sthepoint.Susan,asshe’stoldmetocall
her,isannouncinghernewplatformtoherpartyguestsbeforeshegoespubliconMonday.Itshould
beaveryinterestingnight.

I’mexcitedforMondaybecauseherstaffwillbearrivingthatday.Otherthanhavingapersonality

transplant,Susanhasn’tsaidordoneanythingsuspicious.IplantedbugswhereverIcould,butAinsley
hasn’thadanythingpopupeither.Ithastobeamemberofherstaffwhoissellingtheinformation.

Thelastfewdayshaven’tbeenwithoutdrama,though,orfun.ThesexualtensionbetweenGavin

andImakesithardtobreathesometimes,eventhoughwekissatleastonceaday.Well,Ikisshimat
leastonceaday.Justlittlepeckshereandthere.IknowI’mdrivinghimcrazybecauseIhaven’ttold
himIwanthimtokissme.Andhe’skeepinghispromise.He’sexactedrevengeonme,though.

SinceImadehimpeelthepotatoes,he’strickedmeintotakingoutthetrashandscrubbingthepots

andpans.Ifoundoutthefirstdaythathedoesn’thaveakitchenstaffunlessthere’sapartyorsome
bigevent—helikestodoitallhimself.Sonow,wedoittogether.Andit’sbecomeanall-outwar.The
scoreistiedatthemomentsinceImadehimcorealltheapplesIneededtoprepforoneofSaturday’s
dishes yesterday. All it took was putting my lips an inch away from his and blowing on them right
beforeIasked.IknowI’mintroubletoday,butI’mactuallykindoflookingforwardtoit.

UntilIwalkintothekitchen.No!Hecan’tdothistome.“Where’syourshirt?”Iblurtoutandthen

immediatelycovermymouth.

“ItwasalittleconstrictingonmyarmswhileIwaspreppingtheseveggies.Isitaproblem?”
“No.Ofcoursenot.I-I’llberightback.”
He’slaughingasIrunoutoftheroom,butIdon’tthinkhewillbewhenIgobackinthere.Ittakes

meafewminutes,butthenIwalkbackintothekitchenwithaswaggerininmystep.Hisheadisdown
ashechopsthevegetables.

“Feelingbetter?I’dhateitifyoucouldn’tconcentrate.”
Iwaituntilheputstheknifedownandstartstolookupbeforewhippingmynowloosehairacross

hischest.Heimmediatelyfreezes.“Fuck.”

“Whatwasthat,Gavin?”
“Whyisyourhairdown?”He’stryingtolookanywherebutatmeasItwirlsomestrandsaround

myfinger.

“Itwasjustsoconstricting.Muchlikeyourshirt,Iguess.Isn’titsomuchbetterwhenwecanjustbe

looseandfree?”

Ishakemyheadaround,lettingmyhairswing.Heslamsmeintothewall.“Ask,Faith.Please.”
“Whatisyouwantmetoaskyou?”
Helookslikehe’sinpain,butthenhesmiles.He’sfoundaloophole.Hereachesoutandrunshis

handthroughmyhairasheleansforwardandlicksatrailacrossmyneck,uptomyear.Ishiverashe

lickstheshell,andsucksthelobeintohismouth

“I-Ididn’taskyou.”
“AndI’mnotkissingyou,”hetellsmeashenibblesonmyneck.
Damnloophole.Oh,whoamIkidding?I’mlovingeverysecondofthis.Iwraponelegaroundhis

waistasIrubmyhandsoverhischest.Surrenderisn’tanoption,though,soIstillwon’tgivein.ButI
havetotouchhim.Feelhim.Taste him. That’s my last coherent thought as I lean down and bite his
shoulder,thenlickittosoothethesting.

“That’s it, baby. Take what you want,” he hisses out as he twists his hand further into my hair,

pullinggently.

“Gavin,areyouinhere?”
Itrytomoveaway,butheholdsmyleginplace.“Whatdoyouwant,Elizabeth?”
Theblondewhowalkedinturns,andhereyeswidenassheseesusagainstthewall.“Iwantedto

surpriseyouforlunch.”

“Ishouldgo,”Itellhim,tryingtogetawayagain.
“Stay,”hegrowlsatmebeforeansweringher.“Whywouldyoudothat?Imadeitextremelyclear

thatIwasn’tinterestedinyou.”

“Sowhat,you’rewithher?DoesyourmotherneedtheAsianvoteorsomething?”Ohhellno.
Heletsgoofmethenandturnstofaceher.“GetthefuckoutofmyhousebeforeIthrowyouout,

youstupidbitch.”

“Thepartythisweekend…”
“We’llseeyouthere,”Itellherbrightly.
“You’llbeinhere,youmean.Iwon’tseeyou.”
“Actually,I’llbewithGavin.”
“Butshe’sthehelp,”sheprotests.Ithinkshemayjustfaintfromtheshock.
“I’mnotgoingtotellyouagain.Getoutofmyhouse.”
“Where’syourmother?”
“I’mrighthere,”Susansaysfrombehindher.
“OhthankGo—you’reinjeans.”
“Yes.Iam.”
“DidyouknowGavinwantshertobehisdatetomorrow?”
“Idid.I’mhappilysurprisedthatsheagreed.”
“Butshe’s…Imean,comeonnow.Thishastobeajoke.”
Nowshe’sreallystartingtopissmeoff.
“It’sreallytimeforyoutoleave,Elizabeth.Ifyou’reintendingtocometothepartytomorrow,I

suggestthatyouwearadifferentattitudealongwithyourpartydress.”

Sheturnsandstormsout.Ishakemyhead.WhydidIeverthinkthiswouldbeaneasyassignment?

Ohyeah,that’sright.Ididn’tknowGavinwouldbeinvolvedwhenIacceptedit.

***

Gavin

IfIdidn’tdespiseElizabethalready,Idonow.Sheinterruptedwhatwaslookingtobeanamazing

make-outsession.IdoubtFaithwillletuscontinuewhereweleftoff.Shedidsaythatshe’smydate
fortomorrow,sothat’sawin.I’mgoingtotakeeverychanceIcangettobreakdownherwallsso
thatshe’lltrustme.

“Neveradullmomentaroundthetwoofyou.Ilikeit.RememberwhatIsaidaboutscandalizingthe

staff.”

I shake my head as she leaves. My mom really is behaving like the hippie she used to be. It’s

awesome,butscary.

“Wherewerewe?”
“I’mgoingtogoputmyhairbackupandthenhelpyouwiththeprepforSaturday.”
“Don’tdothis,Faith.Don’tletthatbitchstopwhat’sbetweenus.”
She smiles and then kisses me lightly. “I’m not. We just have a bunch of stuff to do, and if we

continuedonthepathwewereheading,itwouldbetomorrowbeforeweknewit.”

Yes!“Orwe’dmissthepartyaltogether.NotthatI’dmind.”
Herfacefallsallofasudden.“I’mreallysorryaboutthat.”
“Aboutwhat?Nothingthatjusthappenedisyourfault.”
“ItoldherI’myourdate.”
“Yeah,so?”
“Nowyouhavetotakeme.Ornot.Icouldpretendtobesick.”
“Iwanttotakeyou,Faith.Don’tyouknowthat?You’reallI’vebeenabletothinkaboutsincethe

nightwespenttogether,andthesepastfewdayshaveonlymademyfeelingsstronger.You’refunand
refusetotakecrapfromme.Liketoday.IwassureI’dgetyoutoaskmeifIworkedwithmyshirt
off.”Iholdmyhandup.“Yes,IknowI’mconceited,butIthinkIhaveanicechest.Imean,Idowork
out.Butyouuppedthestakesandtookyourhairdown.Igottatellyou—Imaynothaveahairfetish,
butIdohavea‘Faith’shairfetish.’Youmademefindawayaroundourdeal.

“Youmakemethink.Ihavetostayonmytoesaroundyou.I’mlovingeverysecondofthisthing

betweenus.ThereisnothingI’dlikemore—okay,webothknowthat’salie.TherearefewthingsI’d
likemorethantotakeyoutothepartywithmetomorrow.ButIwantyouwithme.”

SheputsherarmsaroundmyneckandleansintomyearasIautomaticallyplacemyhandsonher

hips.“Thankyou,Gavin.Ithinkaboutyouallthetime,too.Iappreciateyoutakingthingsslowand
lettingmedecidewhenI’llbereadyforustosleeptogetheragain.”

“You’re welcome. Do you realize that you just made it sound like we’re definitely going to be

togetheragain?”

“Didyoureallydoubtthat?”
“Justalittle.”
“Don’t.Iwasalittleputoffwhenyousaidournighttogetherwasjustsomethingwecouldgetover.

ButwhenIsawyouagain,Iknewyoudidn’tmeanit.”

“Ididn’t.Itnearlykilledmetosaythosewordstoyou.ButIwantedyoutoworkwithme.Itwas

afterIgotoffthephonewithyouthatIconfrontedmymomandtoldherIwasn’tgoingtokeeptrying
tobetheperfectdollforhertomanipulate.Andsheadmittedthatshemissedheroldself.”

“Ilikethenewher.NotasmuchasIlikehersexyson,butI’mgladshe’snotsouptightanymore.

Sheapologizedtomeforwhatshesaidaboutmecookingfriedrice.”

“Ilikeher,too.It’snicetohavethemomIrememberfromwhenIwaslittlebackagain.I’mglad

sheapologized.Iwon’tletanyonesayrudethingstoyou.”

“Icantakecareofmyself,youknow.”
“Idoknowthat.ButIwanttotakecareofyou,too.IthinkyoulikeitwhenItakeover.”
“YouknowIdo.Butonlyincertaincircumstances.”
“Onesthatinvolvenoclothes?”
“Orclothesmovedaround,”sheremindsme.
“Wicked,wickedgirl.”

Shetightensherarmsaroundmeandhugsme.Iwrapmyarmsaroundherandhugherback.We

staythiswayforafewminutes.Ireluctantlylethergo.Wedohavealotofworktodofortomorrow.
Shegoestoputherhairup,whileIputmyshirtbackon.

***

Faith

Thingscould’vegottenalotuglierwiththatwoman.I’musedtobeinginsulted,butIneverputup

withit.ItwasnicetohaveGavin,andSusan,stickupforme,especiallysinceIhaven’tknownthem
long.ItjustsucksthatithadtointerruptwhatwashappeningwithGavinbeforeshewalkedin.Damn,
ifthatwasn’thot.I’vebeenwantinghimtobreakourdeal,butwhathewasdoingwassomuchbetter.
Findingawayaroundmeisjustlikehim.Idecidetogivehimareward.

“Youhaven’tshownmeyourpoolhouseyet,”ItellhimasIwalkbackintothekitchen.
He stops what he was doing and looks me in the eye. “Because you haven’t said I can kiss you.

There’snowaywe’regoinganywherenearabedwithoutmebeingabletokissyou.”

“Youweredoingagoodjobofgettingaroundourdealearlier.”
“Ah,nowit’sallclear.Youwantmetolickyou.Andbiteyou.Wheredoyouwantmetolickand

biteyou,Faith?”heasksashemovesclosertome.

“Everywhere,”Ianswerhim.“Well,forthebiting,ithastobewhereitcan’tbeseen.Idon’twantto

havetowearascarfovermydress.”

He’sinfrontofmenow.“So,hiddenplaces?”
“Y-yes.Sexyplaces.That’swhereIwantyourtongueandteeth.”
“Every inch of you is sexy, so that answer won’t work.” He trails his hand down my body,

caressing my breasts through my coat before cupping me through my pants. I arch into him and
practicallypurr.“Ican’twaittotasteyouafteryousliceallthestrawberriesfortomorrow.”

“Yes.Wait.Thestrawberries?No.Therearehundreds.Weweregoingtodothattogether.”
“Youalreadysaidyes.Can’tgobackonitnow,”hesaysasheletsmegoandsauntersbacktothe

doughhewasworkingon.

“Bastard.”
“Youwould’vedonethesamethingtome.”
He’sright.Itotallywouldhave.“Thatdoesn’tmeanIcan’tbemad.”
“Toomadtogetthetourofthepoolhouselater?”
“Ihaven’tdecidedyet.”
Webothknowthat’salie.I’msogoingovertherelater,butIhavetotryandmakehimsweat.He’s

backinfrontofmeonhiskneesbeforeIcanevenprocesswhathe’sdoing.Heanglesmeawayfrom
thecamerasandpullsmypantsandpantiesdownjustfarenoughtogivemeonelonglick.

“Yum.Iknewyou’dtastegood.Isthatenoughincentivetobringyoutomyplacelater,ordoIneed

tolickyourbeautifulpussyagain?”

“Ifyouputyourtongueonmeagain,youbetterbepreparedtofinishwhatyoustart.”
“Can’ttakeit,huh?”
“Couldyoutakeacoupleofsucksfrommewithoutneedingtofinish?”
“Hellno.”
“Thengetbacktowork.Weneedtofinishtheprepsoyoucanfinishme.”
“Yes,ma’am,”hetellsmewithalaugh.
Weworkinsilencefortherestoftheday,bothofusfocusingongettingeverythingdone.Notjust

because we want to go back to Gavin’s—although, that’s a big part of it. We’re both proud of our

foodandwanttomakesureit’sdoneright.Gavinendsuphelpingmefinishthestrawberriesbecause
itreallyisatwopersonjob.Onceeverythingisputintherefrigerators,hetakesmyhandandleads
meoutthebackdoor.

Hestopsinfrontofthepoolhouseandturnstome.“It’snotnearlyasspectacularasyourplace,but

Ihopeyoulikeit.”

He’s biting his lip, and it looks so cute. It’s not often that Gavin looks nervous, but he definitely

doesrightnow.Ismileandkisshimlightlyonthelips.

“It’syours,soI’llloveit.”
“Likeyouloveme?”
Isuckinabreathandthenanswer.“Ilikeyou.Alot.It’salittletooearlyforlove.”
“I’mfallingforyou,Faith.Ineedyoutoknowthat.”
“I’montheedgeofthecliff,Gav.Ican’tpromisethatI’llgoovertheedge,butitcouldhappen.”
“Iwon’tpushyouoverthatedgebecauseyouneedtogetthereonyourown,butI’mgoingtosend

youoversomeotheronestonight.”

“Morethanone?Feelingcocky,areyou?”
“Webothknowmultiplesisyouronlyoptiontonight.”
Ishiverasthethrillofournighttogetherfillsmymind.“Openthedamndoor,Gavin.”
Hechucklesandunlocksthedoorashepullsmeinsideafterhim.It’sprettymuchwhatIexpected.

The living room is filled with big brown leather couches, a wet bar with a small fridge and
microwave,andafireplace.Throughanopendoor,Iseeahugesleighbed.

I’mabouttotellhimthatIlikeitwhenmyphonerings.Ipullitoutandseethatit’sAinsley.
“Ihavetotakethiscall.”
“Okay.”
“Can I do it in the bedroom? My friend is having some relationship problems. I know she’d be

embarrassedifyouaccidentallyheardsomething.”

“Sure.”
Ithankhimandanswermyphonebeforeclosingthebedroomdoorbehindme.
“Hi,Ainsley.”
“Justlistenforaminute.Thatwholeplaceisbugged.YourphonesensorslituplikeaChristmas

treeassoonasyouwalkedin.Camerasandmicrophones,Faith.”

“I’msorrytohearthat,sweetie.IsthereanythingIcandotomakeitbetter?”
“I’mguessingthatyoudidn’tgotothepoolhousetowatchTV?”
“Ohno.”
“Canyougetoutoftherewithoutcausingsuspicion?”
“Idon’tthinkthat’sthewaytogo.”
“Shit. Okay. We have two options, neither which are good. I can scramble the signals using your

phone—you’llneedtoleaveitonandmutemebecauseIreallydon’twanttohearyouhavinghotsex
withGavin.Theproblemwiththatoptionisthatwhoeveriswatchingandlisteningwillknowwe’re
ontothem.”

“Isaygowithoptiontwo.”
“Faith.”
“Iknowwhatthatmeans,butIthinkit’llbebest.”
“You’llbetaped.”
“There’sreallynotanotherchoice.”
All of a sudden it’s Reina’s voice I hear. “Get out of there, Faith. No guy is worth having some

unknownpersonmakeasextapeofyou.Tellhimyourfriendneedsyou.”

“It’llbefine.Ipromise.”

“I wasn’t asking. That’s an order.” Her voice softens. “You won’t enjoy it while it’s happening

becauseyouknowaboutthecameras,andyou’lljustregretitafter.Ifthisguyisreallyintoyou,he’ll
takearaincheck.”

“Okay.Ifyoureallyneedme,I’llbethereintwentyminutes.Loveyou.”
Iwalkbackintothelivingroom,andGavinstandswhenheseesme.“Isyourfriendokay?”
“No.Shereallyisn’t.Idon’twanttoleave,butsheneedsme.”
“I understand. Go take care of her. I’ll see you tomorrow. I can’t wait to see you all dressed up

again.”

“Youdon’tlikemeinmychef’soutfit?”
“Oh, I do. I really, really do. But I love to see you all dolled up because I know you’ll have

somethingsexyonunderneath.”

“Ihavesomethingsexyonrightnow.Youalreadysawmypanties,”IremindhimasIrunmyhand

overhischeek.

Her growls. Literally growls. “You need to go now and be with your friend before I keep you

here.”

Ilaughandkisshimlightlyonthemouthbeforewalkingoutthedoor.ForamomentIforgetthat

hisplaceisfullybugged.AsIwalktomycar,itallcomesbacktome.Whowouldwanttodothat,
though?AndhowisGavininvolved?Ineedtofigureouttheanswerstothosequestionsassoonas
possiblebecauseI’vegotonefootoffthecliffatthemoment,andIdon’tthinkI’llbeabletofightit
—orhim—formuchlonger.

CHAPTER3

Gavin

Ican’twaittoseeFaithtonight.Iinsistedthatshetakethedayoffandletme,andthestaffIbrought

in,finishthefoodfortoday.Withalltheprepwedidyesterday,it’sjustamatterofbaking,frying,
andsautéingthings.It’sthemosteclecticmenuwe’veeverservedforalargedinner.I’mprettysure
it’llgooverwell.

I’d be one hundred percent sure if I didn’t know some of what is going to happen. My mom

changingherstanceonprettymuchanythingisliabletostartariot.Eventhoughthere’sonlygoingto
be30guests,itcouldstillgetugly.Thefoodcouldmakeitbetter,orsenditallfurtherintohell.But
it’sprettymuchoutofmyhandsatthispoint.Outofbothofourhands.

I’ve just finished changing into my suit and am heading over to the main house to wait for Faith

whenElizabethstopsmeoutsidethedoor.

“You’rewithher?Reallywithher?”
“Yes.Ialreadytoldyouthatyesterday.”
“Youcan’tjustwalkawaysoeasily,Gavin.Wehadplans.We’resupposedtobetogether.”
“I’mdone,Elizabeth.Iwantnothingtodowithyou.”
“That’snotyourchoiceanymore.Yougotintobedwithme,andI’mnotlettingyouout.”
“You’retheonewhodoesn’thaveachoice.IsaidI’mdone.”
“Yousonofabitch.”
She moves to hit me, but Faith is there in front of me, grabbing her arm. “Walk away, Elizabeth.

You’reembarrassingyourself.”

“Youthinkyou’resosmart,Faith?Well,you’renot.Thisisn’tover.Noneofitisover.Remember

that,Gavin.”

She storms into the house, and I shake my head before looking at Faith. Really looking at her.

When I do, I almost fall over. Her dress looks to be pink underneath with big swirls of stiff black
materialoverthetopandcurlingoveroneshoulder.Shehaspinkandgreenshoeson,andherhairis
inbigcurls.

“Fuck,youlookamazing.”
“You look pretty good yourself. Not good enough to cause the crazy I just interrupted, but good

enoughtoeatlater.”

“Ican’ttellifthat’sanactualcompliment,ornot.I’mdefinitelynotopposedtohavingyoufeaston

melater,though.”

“Ididn’tthinkyouwouldbe.”
“ThanksforhelpingrunoffElizabeth,bytheway.Andfornotlettingherhitme.”
“Idon’tshare,Gavin.Ialreadytoldyouthat.Nootherwomanisgoingtohitmyman.”
“Iwouldneveraskyoutoshare.AndIlikeyousayingthatI’myours,eventhoughIneversaidI

was.”

“You’reright.Wehaven’tdiscussedthis,butIthoughtitwasclear.Idon’tplaygames,sojusttell

mestraight.Arewetogether?”

“Yes.Ofcourse,yes.It’scrystalclear.We’retogether,andIplanonusstayingthatway.”
“Good.Me,too.Nowweshouldprobablygoinside.Whoknowswhatyourexissayingaboutus.”
IsmileasIleadhertothedoor.InsideI’mfreakingout,though.Elizabethknowstoomanyofmy

secrets.Shecan’ttellthemwithoutexposingherself,butshewillgoafterFaith.Ihavenodoubtabout
that.Bringingherdownwaspartoftheplanallalong.NowthatIknowher,andcareforher,Ihaveto
find a way to protect her. From what exactly? I don’t know. I just know the train that’s coming is
travelingfast,andI’lljumpinfrontofittosavethewomanIloveifIhaveto.

Whoa.Iloveher?Yeah,Ido.It’ssoon,anditcameonfast,butIknowit’sthetruth.IloveFaith.

NowIjusthavetofigureoutthebestwaytoprotecther,andkeepmymomsafe,too.

Whenwewalkinside,allconversationstops.Mymomsmilesandwalksovertogivebothofusa

kissonthecheek.“Everyonehasbeenravingaboutthefood.”Sheturnsbackaround.“Thesetwoare
responsibleforallofit.Youallknowmyson,Gavin,butwhatyouprobablydon’tknowisthathe’sa
chef.Hisgirlfriend,Faith,isequallytalentedinthekitchen.Pleasehelpmewelcomethemalltothe
party.”

No one wants to upset my mom, because they still think she’s on their side, so we’re completely

surroundedinseconds.Peoplecomplimentusonthefood.ThewomenfawnoverFaith’sdress.Itis
prettyspectacular,soI’mnotsurprisedbythat,orbythewaythemenarelookingather.Istarehard
at more than one guy, while keeping my hand on her waist and kissing her temple. I know it’s
breakingthedeal,butIneedtoclaimher.Sheletsmeknowthatsheunderstandswhensheleansover
towhisperinmyear.

“Iknowwhatyou’redoing,Gav.Idon’tconsideritasbreakingthedeal.I’mnotsuretheselittle

pecksareenough,though.Soplease,kissmeforreal.”

Ireactinstantly,cuppinghercheekandbringinghermouthtomine.IkeepitPGbecauseIdon’t

wantanyonetocheapenwhatwehavebymakingascene.It’sstillhotthough.Crazyhot.We’reboth
smilingwhenIfinallypullaway.

Until I look away, right into Elizabeth’s eyes. She looks like she’s ready to kill me. I should be

scared,butI’mnot.ShewasjustpartofatimeinmylifewhenIwasbeingstupid.Butthat’sallover
now, and I won’t let anyone or anything ruin what I’m starting to have with Faith. I do my best to
conveythatwithmyeyes,lookingstraightather,notblinking.Shesmirksbeforelookingaway.This
isdefinitelynotoverforher.

***

Faith

SomethingweirdisgoingonbetweenGavinandElizabeth.Ifeellikeit’smorethanjustaromance

gonewrong.I’mworriedthatithassomethingtodowithmyinvestigation,althoughIhaven’tseen
Gavin anywhere near Susan’s office, and Elizabeth was only at the house yesterday. I can’t let my
feelingsgetintheway,soI’lltalktoReinainthemorningandhaveTeganandAinsleystartlooking
intothetwoofthemmoreclosely.

I’m careful not to let on that I’m bothered by anything. It’s actually easier than you’d think since

Gavinhasmadedinnerfunforme.He’sinsistingthatwefeedourdishestoeachother.Iknowwe’re
making a spectacle of ourselves, but neither one of us care. Everything tastes wonderful. Too soon
everything’sfinished,includingthewonderfuldessertswecollaboratedon.

“Thankyouallforcoming,”Susansaysasshestandstoaddressherguests.“ButI’veinvitedyou

hereformorethandinner.Iwanttosharemyplansforthefuturewithyou.I’vestrayedtoofarfrom
mypast,butI’vedecidedtogobacktomyroots.Mystanceonalmosteverythingwillbechanging.I

believeinequalityforeveryoneandinstrongerguncontrol.Iknowthisisincontrasttowhatmostof
youfeelisright.Thisisyourchancetoleave.”

Everyoneisquietatfirst,andthenallhellbreaksloose.Grownmenareactinglikechildrenand

theirwivesarenobetter.WhentheyseethatSusaniscompletelyserious,amassexodusoccurs.Soon
it’sonlyusandElizabethleftinthediningroom.

“I’llcontinuetosupportyou,Susan.”
“Thankyou,dear.Iappreciateit,especiallysincethingsdidn’tendwellwithyouandGavin.”
“We’renotover.He’sjusthavingsomefun.He’llbeback.”InoticeElizabethwinkoveratGavin.
“Don’tactlikeI’mnotintheroom.Andwe’renotgettingbacktogether.I’mwithFaith.”
“We’llsee.”
“Yes,wewill,”ItellherasIleanoverandkissGavin.
HedeepensthekissandIhearherchairhitthefloor.“Enjoyhimfornow,Faith.Hebelongstome,

andI’mnotreadytolethimgo.”

Ipullmylipsfromhimtoglareather.“Goodluckwiththat.”
“Idon’tneedluck.Iownhim,andalthoughhe’stryingtodenyit,Gavinknowsthetruth.”
“Youdon’townme.Itoldyou,it’sover.Allofit.Nowrunalongandfindsomeotherlonelyguyto

trick.”

“Youknowitwasatreat,notatrick,whenyouhadmeinyourbed.I’llbebacktheresoon.When

youcometoyoursenses.”

“Ifthisisaboutmyraceagain,”Istart,steelingmyfeaturesintoamaskofice.
“It’snot.It’saboutcompatibility.GavinandIfit—youandhimdonot.He’llrealizeitsoonashe’s

donefuckingyou.Ihopeyoudon’tplanonfallinginlovebecauseit’sfutile.”Sheholdsupherhand
asIstarttospeak.“Iknowyoudon’tbelievemenow,butyou’llsee.”

“GetoutbeforeIforgetthatIdon’thitwomen.”
“Oh,Gavin.Youwouldn’twanttodothat.”
“No,hewouldn’t.I’mnotabovehittingyoumyself,though,soIthinkyoushouldlistentohimand

leave.”Ireally,reallywanttohither.

“I’llgo,butIhopeyourememberlaterthatIdidwarnyou.”
“Whatever.”
Shesashaysherhipsasshewalksout,tryingtoputonashow.Gavin’sfistsarestillclenched,andI

cantellthathe’stryingtocontrolhisbreathing.IrubahandoverhisbackasIleaninandkisshim.
Herelaxesalmostimmediatelyandkissesmeback.Whenheputshisarmsaroundme,andpullsme
tighttohim,Iknowhe’scalmeddownenoughformetopullback.Itouchmyforeheadtohisashe
continuestogivemelittlekisses.It’slikehephysicallycan’tstop.

“It’sokay.”
“It’s not. What she said—I don’t want you to believe it. To believe her. Getting with her was the

dumbestthingI’veeverdone.Beingwithyouisthesmartest.”

“Idon’tbelieveher.”
He’sstillkissingme,buthestopstolookinmyeyes.“Thankyoufortrustingme.”
“Ido.”Idon’t.Butthat’snotaboutromance,it’saboutwork.“Howsooncanweleaveandgoback

tomyplace?”

“Wecanleavesoon.Youdon’twanttogotothepoolhouse?It’scloser.”
Ihavetothinkfast.GoodthingIwastrainedtodojustthat.“Idon’treallywanttobewhereshe’s

been,afterallthat.”

“Fuck.Ididn’teventhinkaboutherbeingthere.Itwasonlyacoupleoftimes.ButIgetit.Let’sgo

checkonmymomandthekitchenstaff,andthenwe’llgotoyourplacesoIcanmakeyoucomeall
night.”

Ittakesusaboutanhourtoleave.Susanisn’treallyupsetaboutwhathappened,mostlybecauseshe

expectedit.Shesaysthatshe’sgoingtostartlookingfornewsupporterswhoshareherviewswhen
herstaff gets hereon Monday. Wealso made sure allthe leftover foodwas packaged properly and
ready to be dropped off for the homeless. One of the things I love most about Gavin is his
compassion,andwhenhetoldmeearlierthisweekthathealwaysdonatesleftoverfoodfromtheir
partiestothehomeless,itcausedthebiggestcrackinthearmoraroundmyheart.

ItellhimhecanleavehiscarsinceI’mnotplanningonlettinghimgohomeforatleast24hours.I

dolethimgrabsomeclothes,eventhoughItellhimhewon’tneedanything.Wegettomyplacein
recordtime,andassoonaswereintheelevator,Ipushhimagainstthewall.Ipracticallyclimbhim
before he grabs my ass and lifts me up so I can wrap my legs around him. I’m alternately kissing,
licking, and biting him. He thrusts against me, but makes sure we stay covered until we get to my
floor.Iguessoneofusneedstobesane.Hedoesn’tputmedownuntilwe’reinmybedroom.

AssoonasI’mbackonmyfeet,Idroptomyknees.Iwanthiminmymouthsobadly.Hedoesn’t

trytostopmeasIundohisbeltandpracticallyripoffhispants.IknowI’mactingcrazyandoutof
control,butIdon’tcare.OnceI’vegothisboxerbriefsandshoesoff,Ipushhimontothebed.Hesits
attheedge,leaningbackonhishands.IlickmylipsasIseehiswondrouscockinfrontofme.Iforce
myeyesupandsmileasIseehimwithhisjacket,shirt,andtiestillinplace.Sofuckinghot.

Ileanforwardandtakehimallthewayin.Hepracticallyfliesoffthebed,butleaveshishandsoff

me. I know he’s letting this be all me because he wants me to know I can be in control whenever I
want.Itmakesmeleanovertheedgeofthecliffalittlemore.Ilickandsuckwhilepumpingmyhand
below my mouth. My other hand is squeezing and massaging his balls. I let go a few times to lean
downandblowonthewetnessmymouthiscreating.Iknowhelikesthat,anditbringshimcloserto
losingcontrol,asevidencedbyhishandsclenchingthecomforterbehindhim.It’sonlyafewminutes
beforehe’scominginmymouthonayell.Icontinueuntilhestills,andIfeelhimfallbackontothe
bed.Ilethimgoandclimboverhim,straddlinghisthighs.

“Baby,thatwas…God,Idon’tevenknowwhatthatwas.”
“Itwasmesuckingandblowingyou.”
Helaughs.“Iknowthat.WhatImeantisthatIcan’tdescribehowhotitwas.Howhotyouare.”
“Thendon’t.Justletmerideyou.”
“Let’sgetyouundressedfirst.”
“Noneed.I’mnotwearingpanties,”ItellhimasIpushmydresstomywaist.
I pull the condom out of his inside jacket pocket—where I knew it would be from our last night

together.He’slookingatmeinamazementasIputitonhiscock,whichhasquicklyrecoveredandis
waiting for me. Then I climb onto him. Having him in my mouth has made me so wet that I slide
downhimeasilyuntilI’mfullyseatedonallofhisgloriouslength.

“Holyfuck,you’rewet.Yougotthatwayfromsuckingmeoff?”
“I’vebeenwetallnight,butyes,gettingyouoffgotmewhereIamnow.”
“Youlikehavingmycockinyourmouth?Suckingme?”
“YoucanfeelthatIdo.”
“Whydidn’tyoufliparound?Wecould’vesixty-nined.Idon’tlikeknowingyourpussywasbeing

denied.”

“Later.We’lldothat,later.”
“Ohyeahwewill.ButIneedmymouthonyourdeprivedpussyrightnow.”
He pulls me up and off of him. I’m struggling against him until he licks me with the flat of his

tongue.ThenI’mgrabbinghishead,urginghimonward.IknowIshouldn’tbedoingthat.Heletme
dowhatIwantedwithoutinterfering,soIshouldbedoingthesame.Ican’tthough.I’msofargonein

myowndesire.I’mnotonlyguidinghishead.MyhipsarethrustingupasIfuckhisface.Hedoesn’t
seemtomind.

AssoonasI’mpullinghishairandscreaminghisname,heshootsbackupoverme,thrustinghis

dickinsidemehard.I’mstillcomingashepowersintome.Asecondorgasmistriggeredashefucks
methewaywebothneedit.

“That’sit.Comehardagain,Faith.Howmanymoredoyouhaveinyou?”
“I-Idon’tknow.Justdon’tstop.”
“I’m not stopping. The world ending couldn’t make me leave your pussy. My cock needs some

reliefnow,soI’mgoingtocome.We’renotdoneyet,though.Imadeyoucomefivetimeslasttime
weweretogether,andthatwasn’tenough.”

Hecomes,yellingoutmyname,alongwithseveralfourletterwords.IbitehisneckasIcomea

thirdtimewhilehe’sshakinginsideofme.HeholdsmyhipssoI’mrubbingmyclitagainsthimas
I’m thrashing, prolonging my pleasure. It’s not until I fall limp onto the pillows that he withdraws
fromme,kissingmyforeheadbeforegoingtotakecareofthecondom.

I take my dress off, because it’s honestly uncomfortable to have the stiff fabric squished up all

aroundme.Plus,Stellawouldkillmeifshesawmemistreatingit.Noonemesseswithfashionwhen
she’saround,unlesstheywanttodealwithherwrath.I’mlaughingaboutthatwhenGavincomesout
ofthebathroom.Hisjacketandtieareoffandhestartsunbuttoninghisshirtashewalksovertome.

“What’ssofunny?Notwhatwejustdid,Ihope.”
“What just occurred has definitely made me smile. But not laugh. I was thinking about how my

friendStellawouldkillmeifshesawthedressshehelpedmepickoutallscrunchedup.”

“I’dliketomeetthisStella.Actually,I’dliketomeetallofyourfriends.Ibetthey’relotsoffun.”
“Areyoualreadyboredandlookingforsomeonenew?”
Insteadofanswering,heleansdownandsucksmynippleintohismouth.Withmybrastillon.The

suctioncombinedwiththefrictioncausesmetoarchmybackandgrabhisshoulders.

“I’mnevergoingtogetboredwithyou,”hesayswithasmile.“AndIwasright,youdidhavesexy

lingerieonunderyourfancydress.”

“Justabra,”IremindhimasItraceafingeralongthestraps.
“I’mnotcomplainingaboutthat.Atall.ButIdolikeseeingyouinsatinandlace.”
“Ilikeseeingyouinnothing.”
“Thatcanbearrangedwheneveryouwant.”
“Iwantthatrightnow.”
Hepullsoffhisshirtandthenpicksmeup.Hecarriesmetothebed,leavingmybraonforthenext

hour.Afterthat,allbetswereoffaswewe’rebothnakedandstillnotsatisfiedenoughtostop.When
we finally do, it’s because we’re both too exhausted to keep going. We fall asleep tangled in each
otherasthesuncomesup.

***

Gavin

Lastnightwasoneofthebestofmylife.Hell,itwasn’toneofthebest,itwasthebest.Wakingup

withFaithinmyarmsmakesitallthebetter.ItrytoholdontothatthoughtasIwatchhersleep.Ican’t
helpbutletmythoughtsstraytolesspleasantthings,though.

ShechangedthesubjectwhenIaskedtomeetherfriends.JustlikeElizabethwarnedmeshewould.

Thatwasbeforewe’dmet,andIwasabletoseparatemyselffromthetaskathandsoIdidn’treally
care.ButnowIdo.Iwanttomeettheotherpeopleshecaresabout.Evenifthey’rethebadpeopleI

wastoldtheyare.I’mnotsosureIbelievethatanymore.Faithdefinitelyisn’tevil.Shemaybelying
tomeaboutwhyshe’satmymother ’shouse,butIdon’tthinkshecouldfakewhat’sbetweenus.

I must squirm a little as I try to work things out in my head because she stirs next to me before

openinghereyestosmileatme.“Goodmorning.”

“Yesitis.”
“Ioweyouabreakfast.”
“Doyouhavethestrengthtocook?”
Shereachesbackforapillowbeforewhackingmewithit.“IthinkIcanmanage.You’renotthat

awesome.”

“I’m not?” I ask as I snake my hand between her legs. “You’re pretty wet for me not being

awesome.”

“Oh,fuck,”shesaysinresponse.
“Mythoughtsexactly.”
MyhandisalreadygrabbingoneofthecondomsIthrewonthenightstandlastnight.It’stwohours

later before we stumble out of the bed to cook breakfast together. If both of our stomachs weren’t
rumbling,I’mprettysureweneverwould’veleft.

“Thanksforhelpingwithbreakfast.”
“YouknowIlovecookingwithyou.Especiallynakedcooking.”
“Whichwecan’tdoatyourmother ’shouse.”
“Well,wecould…”
“No,Gavin.Wecannot,”shetellsmeasshewhacksmewithherspatula,makingmyeyesdarken.

“Don’teventhinkaboutit.”

“What?”ItrytolookinnocentasIask.
“I’mnotintokink.Lotsandlotsofsex,butnokink.”
“Lotsandlots?”
“Asifyoudidn’talreadyknowthat.”
“Iknowit.Ijustliketohearyousayit.”
“Saywhat?”Nowshe’stheoneactinginnocent.
ImovesoI’mbehindherandwhisperinherear.“Ilovehearingabouthowmuchyoulikemycock

inyourpussy.”

“Don’tforgetyourfingers,mouth,tongue,andteeth.I’mafanofthose,too.Abigfan.”
“BigisthewordIliketohearyousay.”
“Youdon’tneedmetotellyou.”
“I know I’m working with some nice equipment, but hearing you say it is even hotter. And I like

yourteethtoo,”ItellherasIpointtomyneck.

“Oh,God.I’msosorry.”Shereachesouttotouchthespotwhereshemarkedme.
“I’mnot.IlovethatIgotyousooutofcontrol.Now,backtoworkorwe’llnevereat.”
Weworkinsilenceforafewminutes—heronthebreakfastpotatoesandbiscuits,meontheeggs

andbacon.Whenwe’redone,wemakeplatesforourselvesandgrabsomejuicebeforeheadingto
herbigcouchinthelivingroom.Wecuddleupasweeat.I’mabouttoaskFaithwhatshe’dliketodo
todaywhenIhearherbreathingsteadyout.Ilookdowntoseehereyesclosed,andasweetsmileon
herlips.Ihopeshe’sdreamingofme.

CHAPTER4

Gavin

The weekend was beyond words. We spent most of it making love, but we also talked, watched

movies,and,ofcourse,cooked.Nothingfancy,justsimplecomfortfoodthatkeptusbothsatedand
content. I’ve never felt so comfortable around someone else, male or female. It’s so easy to talk to
Faith,andit’sgettingharderandhardertobelievewhatElizabethtoldmeaboutherandherfriends.
I’veseenproofwithmyowneyes,though,soIknowit’strue.

Idon’tknowwhatI’mgoingtodoaboutallofthis.Isetmyselfonapath,andalthoughI’veended

thingswithElizabeth,I’mnotsurethatI’mreadytoabandontherestofit.Peoplesayloveisblind,
but that’s not how I’m feeling. I can still see clearly how what Faith and her friends have done is
wrong.AmIstrongenoughtostaythecourse,though?IrealizethatifIwanttobewithFaith—truly
bewithher—thenIhavetofollowthrough.It’stheonlywaytosaveusboth.

Shetoldmeshehadafewerrandstorunthismorning,soshejustdroppedmeatthehouse.She

promised that she’d be back by lunchtime so she can help with dinner. I’m glad for the time alone
sinceitwillgivemeachancetogoovereverythingwithElizabeth—andhopefullyherboss—andsee
whatIneedtodonext.It’sweirdthatherbossdoesn’tseemtowanttomeetmesinceI’mplayingsuch
abigpartineverything.Ican’tdwellonthatrightnow.

I walk into the pool house, knowing they’ll be able to tell I’m home with all the surveillance

equipmentthey’veinstalledinhere.Sureenough,beforeIcanevensitonthecouch,mybigscreen
TVcomestolife.Elizabeth,alongwithanotherwoman’sface,fillthescreen.

“Hello,Gavin.I’mSeleneTodd.Elizabeth’sboss,andinaway,yoursaswell.Although,fromwhat

I’veseenandheard,yourloyaltyisinquestion.”

“I’mstillcommittedtotakingdownthe‘Society’asyoucallit.Thatkindofevilcan’tbeallowedto

flourishintheworld.”

“ThenwhyareyoupursuingarelationshipwithFaith?”
“She’sagoodperson.Icantell.Ithinkshe’sjustbeenmisledaboutwhatthepeoplesheworksfor

aredoing.IknowIcanmakeherseereason.”

“Whileyoufuckher?”
“Enough, Elizabeth. I’ve trained you better. Lovers move on. Get over it and channel your anger

intothematterathand.”

“Butshe’ssocommon.”
“I said I’ve had enough of your childish fixation. Does Gavin have some kind of magic dick?

Becauseifthat’sthecase,maybeIneedatasteofitaswell.”

“No.”
“Excuseme?”
“Isaidno.I’minonthisplanwithyoubecauseIbelieveit’stherightthingtodo,butyouaren’t

gettingfamiliarwithanypartofmyanatomy.Neitheroneofyouis.”

“Pity.Icouldshowyousomenewtricks.”

“Listen,lady.I’mgettingtiredofbeingtalkedaboutlikeI’maplaything.Isaidno,andImeanno.

Eithertalkaboutourbusinessarrangement,orgothefuckaway.”

“Ilikeyourfire,Gavin.Ifyouinsistonbusiness,thenbusinessitis.”
Iwaitwithmyarmscrossedforhertocontinue.WhythehelldidIgetmyselfintothis?Ohyeah,

becauseabunchofbitcheswereabouttotakemymotherdown.I’mnotsurewhattheythoughtthey’d
findsinceshe’scleanasawhistle,buttheyweregoingafterheranyway.Imaynothavelikedwho
she’dbecome,butIstilllovedher,andwouldn’tletanyonehurther.

“You’ve failed so far in our first directive, Gavin. You were supposed to get Faith out of her

clothes so we could film her in here. The first night, she ran out on you. And then after the dinner
party,youwenttoherplace.Thatwasasimpletask.Howdidyouscrewitup?”

“I didn’t screw up anything. The first night, her friend needed her. Then, at the party, Elizabeth

talkedaboutbeinginmybed.SoFaithrefusedtocomebackherewithme.”

“Are you a complete idiot?” she asks as she turns to Elizabeth, who looks like she’s cowering a

little.

“No.Iwasjust…um,well…jealous.Gavinwasintomeuntilhegotatasteofher.”
“For the last time, this is not about your love life. We have an organization to take down. Start

actinglikeaprofessional,orI’llassignsomeoneelse.”

“Yes,Selene.I’msorry.Itwon’thappenagain.I’llactallbusinessinfrontofFaithandGavin.”
A sinister smile crosses Selene’s face, and I feel a chill down my spine. Whatever she’s thinking

can’tbegood.Iknowitbeforesheevenopenshermouth.Whenshedoes,Ifightheronwhatshe’s
saying.Whatshe’sdemandingIdo.Ieventhreatentobackoutofourdeal,tellingherIcan’tdowhat
she’sasking.Intheend,Iagree,becauseIknowIneedtoprotectmymom.JustlikeIalwayshaveand
alwayswill.

***

Faith

I went straight to Corrigan & Co. after dropping Gavin off at home. The beautiful building,

designedbyRyanGriffin,housesoneofthemostsuccessfulcompaniesintheworld.MattCorrigan
hashishandinprettymucheveryindustryyoucanthinkofandit’shisgrandmother ’sfoundationthat
I’mheadingfor.Thatpartofthebuildinghousesthe“Society”aswejokinglycallit.Whatwedoisn’t
ajoke,though.Savingwomenandchildrenaroundtheworldissomethingallofustakeseriously.

IsmileatAlexGriffinasIwalkthroughtheFoundationlobby.She’sonthephone,butsmilesback

atmeasshewaves.Alltenofuswomenhaveapoolgoingonwhenherlastnamewillchangefrom
Griffin to Corrigan. We all know Miles is going to put a ring on her finger. The only question is
when.IbrieflythinkaboutGavingivingmearing,butthenputthatthoughtaside.Romanticthoughts
aren’tgoingtohelpmehere.EspeciallybecauseIneedtotellmyfriendstostartinvestigatinghim
morethoroughly.

I walk into one of the smaller conference rooms to see Jane Corrigan, Cyndi, Reina, Tegan,

Ainsley,andMattwaitingforme.Ismileatthemandtakeaseat.

“Thanksformeetingwithme,everyone.”
“Ofcourse,Faith.Yousaidyouhavesomenews.”
“Ido,Jane.I’msureAinsleyhastoldyouabouthowmyphonesensorswentcrazywhenIwalked

intoGavin’spoolhouselastweek.Well,thenextnightatthepartyIsensedastrangevibebetweenhim
andhisex,Elizabeth.Itfeltlikemorethanjustafailedloveaffair.”

“Didyouhearthemsayanything?”

“Hekepttellingheritwasover,butshekeptsayingtheyweredrawntogetherbymorethansex.It

wasjust…odd.Idon’tlikesuspectingtheguyI’mfallingfor,butIcan’toverlookhowIfeel.”

“Fallingfor?You’reinittowinitwithGavin?”
“Yes,Matt.”
“Well,damn.Match.com’sgotnothingonyou,Gram.”
“Really,Matt?Wedohowmanymissionswithnoonefallinginlove,andyou’regoingtofocuson

thetwowhereAinsleyandFaithdid?”Reinaaskshim.

“Yougottaadmit,it’sprettycrazy,Princess.”
“Idon’thavetoadmitanythingtoyou.”
Reinalookslikeshemayloseit.IexchangelookswithAinsleyandTegan.Weknowwhy.Shewas

hopingMattwouldadmitthatmorethantwopeoplehavefalleninloveonmissions.Damnhimfor
hurtingher.

“You’reanasshole,Matt.”
“I’vedonenothingtoyou,Faith.”
“Dosomethingtooneofus,andyouhavetofaceallofus.That’sjustthewayitis.”
HiseyesnarrowonReina.“Whatthefuckhaveyoubeentellingpeople?”
“Don’tspeaktomelikethat,Matt.I’lltellmyfriendswhateverIwanttotellthem.Rightnow,I’d

liketofinishthismeeting,soI’mnotlateformylunchdate.”

“Oh,isthiswiththeguyyou’vebeendatingforthelastcoupleofweeks?”Teganasks.
“Yeah.He’sprettygreat.”
“Whendowegettomeethim?”
“Idon’tknowyet.Iwouldn’twantanyofyoutoscarehimoff.”
“No.Wewouldn’twantthatatall,Princess.Solet’sfinishupthemeetinglikeyouasked.”
Matt’ssayingthewordscalmly,buthelookslikeheissecondsawayfromlosingit.Infact,Ithink

theglassofwaterinhishandmayshatteranysecond.Ainsleypullsitfromhishand,givinghimasad
smileintheprocess.Iquicklyjumpbackintomysuspicionstotryanddetractfromthehugeelephant
intheroom.Whenwe’redone,ReinapracticallyrunsfromtheroomwhileMattdropshisheadinhis
hands.

“Oneofthesedaysyou’regoingtoloseherforgood,Matthew.”
“She deserves so much better than me, Gram. If this guy can make her happy, then that’s what I

want.That’sallIwant.Forhertobehappy.”Heraiseshisheadthen.“Butifhehurtsher—inanyway
—Iwilltakehimdownlikearabiddog.Makenomistakeaboutthat.”

HewalksoutafterkissinghisgrandmaontheforeheadandsqueezingCyndi’sshoulder.Wealljust

sitthereforaminute,tryingtoprocesshowtwopeoplewhoaresoobviouslyinlovewitheachother
keepfightingitateveryturn.Well,oneofthemisfightingit.Reinawoulddropthisotherguyina
secondifshethoughtMattwouldhavearelationshipwithher.

“Istherenothingyoucando,Jane?Theyneedeachother.”
“Heneedstorealizethathe’sgoodenoughforheronhisown.NothingI,noranyoneelse,cansay

willchangethat.Hewaswoundeddeeplybythewar.Nottomentionafterfindingoutwhathisfather
didtoMilesandAlex.”

“There’ssomethingyoucando,Jane,”Cynditellsher.
“Notyet,myfriend.Soonmaybe,butnotquiteyet.Neitheroneofthemisreadyforthat,andIfear

itwouldcausemoreharmthangood.”

“Butsoon.Youallneedittohappen.”
“Um,arethetwoofyougoingtofillusinonwhatyou’retalkingabout?”
“No,Tegan.Whenit’stime,you’llallknow.”

“Iknewyouweregoingtosaythat.I’llgettoworkthen.Ifthere’sanykindofpapertrail,I’llfind

it.”

“I’m already trying to track where the surveillance is coming from. Whoever set it up is good. I

mayneedtoaskScottforhelp.”

“Dowhateveryouhaveto.Inthemeantime,beverycarefulFaith.Wethoughtthiswasgoingtobe

aneasyassignment,butitfeelslikesomethingelseitatplayhere.”

“Iwill.I’lltalktoyouallsoon.Thefullstaffisarrivingtoday,soI’mhopingtogetagoodfeelfor

allofthem.”

“No risks, Faith. I know you’re careful, but there’s more on the line for you now than anyone

anticipated.”

“Iwon’tdoanythingcrazy,Cyndi.”
Besidesfallinginlove,ofcourse.OtherthantakingGavinhomethatfirstnight,fallingforhimis

thecraziestthingI’veeverdone.NowIjusthavetohopethathe’snotinvolvedinthesellingofstate
secrets.Becauseifheis,I’llhavetobringhimdown;evenasitbreaksmyheart.

***

Gavin

IcantellwhenFaithentersthekitchen.NotbecauseIhearher,whichIdon’t,butbecauseI’mso

attunedtoherandherpresence.Idon’tturnaroundfromwashingproduceinthesink.Ican’tfaceher
whenIdowhatIhavetodo.I’veresignedmyselftohavingtobreakher,butitdoesn’tmeanmyheart
isn’tfightingmeateverystep.

“Hi,”shesaysasshewrapsherarmsaroundmeandnuzzleshercheekintothemiddleofmyback.
“Themenufortonightisontheisland.”
“Okay.Ijustwanttocuddleforaminuteifthat’salright.”
“It’snot.”
Ifeelherstiffenbeforesheletsmegoandstepsback.Iknowthatshe’sturnedaround,andIhear

herpickupthetabletIusetokeeptrackofeverything.Idon’thearhermovetotherefrigerator,or
stove.She’sjuststandingthere,andIfeellikethebiggestassholeintheworld.Ialmostgiveupthe
plan.Almost.Thoughtsofmymom,andherbeingframedforsomethingshedidn’tdo,overpower
myneedtocomfortFaith.

“Thisweekendwasgreat.”
“Yeah.Itwas.”
“I think we’ve run our course in that regard. You know, gotten it out of our system. No hard

feelings,right?”

“Afewhoursagoyouweretellingmeyoucouldn’twaittospendeverysecondyoucouldwithme.

Yousaidthatyouwerefallingforme.Andnow,you’reblowingmeofflikesomerandomfuck?The
feelingsarehard,Gavin.Reallyhard.”

Icanhearhervoiceshake,andIwanttoturnandpullherintomyarms.Iforcemyselftogripthe

sinkinstead.I’mfightingbackmyowntears.IcalmmybreathingbeforeIspeak.

“I’dlikeyoutostayhere.Yourideasandrecipeselevatemyown.Willyoubeabletodothat?”
Itistakinghersolongtoanswer,I’mbeginningtowonderifsheevenwill.“I’llstay,”shefinally

saysinasmallvoice.

IcouldlieandsaythatI’mrelieved,butI’mnot.Weneedherherefortheplantowork,buthaving

to see her every day is going to kill me as much as I think it’ll kill her. Especially when Elizabeth
startsshowingupagain,whichshouldbeanyminutenow.

“Aww,Gavintoldyoudidn’the?”Theshe-devilhasindeedarrived.
“Toldme?OhmyGod,areyoubackwithher?Isthatwhyyousaidwecan’tseeeachotheragain?”
“Yes.We’retogether.Itoldyouwewouldeventuallybe.Iwarnedyou.”
Faithignoresherasshepullsonmyarm.“Lookatme,Gavin.Look.At.Me.Damnyou.”
IforceasmirkI’mnotfeelingontomyfaceasIturntoher.“LikeIsaid,wehadfun.ButElizabeth

reallyisabettermatchforme.”

I look up to meet her eyes, and it takes every ounce of strength in me—and then some—to not

stagger back. I expected hurt, but it’s the anger I see that’s more upsetting. Her eyes are the coldest
I’veeverseenonaperson,andshe’stheonesmirkingnow.

“Ihopeyoutwoarehappytogether.NowIneedtoworkonthismenu.”
ShemovesawayfrommeasElizabethinvadesmypersonalspace.Ihavetostandthereandlether

kissandtouchme.Itgoesonallafternoon.Idon’treciprocateunlessFaithisturnedtowardsus.When
she grabs my crotch while Faith’s looking the other way, I pull her hand off of me and give her a
deathglare.Shejustsmilesandwinks.Bitch.IhavenoroomtotalksinceI’mthekingofallbastards.

Once dinner ’s almost ready, my mom comes into the kitchen. She stops short when she sees

ElizabethdrapedovermeandFaithworkingaloneontheotherendofthekitchen.

“Whatthehellisgoingon?”
“GavinandIarebacktogether.Isn’titwonderful?”
“Gav?”
“IrealizedElizabeth’stheoneforme.Faithunderstands.”
My mom gives me a skeptical look before walking over to Faith. They have a whispered

conversation,whichIknowthebugsinherewillpickup,beforetheywalkouttogether.Iopenmy
mouthtosaysomething,butmymomsilencesmewithanotherlook.Thisone’sfullofvenom.Ironic
thatshe’sprotectingawomanwho’souttodestroyher.ButIcan’tsayanything.Notyet.

I finish the rest on my own while Elizabeth keeps up her own brand of torturing me. I go to the

pool house to change quickly before dinner. My mom’s staff is finally here, and I need to look my
best.AtleastIwon’tneedtoseeFaithsincesheobviouslyleft.Ican’twaitforthetalkI’msuremy
momisgoingtoinsistonhavingwithme.Funtimesahead.Not.

MynightdropsintothefurtherregionsofHellwhenIwalkintothegreatroomtoseethatFaithis

back.Andshe’snotalone.There’saguynexttoherwithhishandonherwaist,casuallystrokingthe
hairunderhisfingersastheytalktosomeofmymom’sstaffers.He’sabout6’5”withdarkhairand
musclesthatarethreateningtobulgerightoutofhissuitjacket.There’sanairofdangeraroundhim
thatmakesitswaytowardsmeasheturnstomeetmyeyes.Hiseyesarebrownandpinningmelike
lasers.Icanalmostfeelthepainhewantstocausemeashismouthcurvesupintoasneer.

Instead of coming towards me, he glides his hand through Faith’s hair—my hair, dammit—and

movesitasidetoplaceakissonherneck,stilllookingmeintheeye.She’sinashortblacksleeveless
dressthathasahalterneckdippinglowerononeside.Ashecontinueskissingher,Faithmovesher
hand up to run it through his short hair. No. This asshole cannot just come in here and claim my
womaninfrontofme.

IstarttomovetowardsthemwhenElizabethstepsintomypath.“Don’teventhinkaboutit.”
Iknowshe’sright.Iknowit.AndtheguyseemstoknowittooasheturnsFaithtohimandkisses

heronthemouth.Herarmsgoaroundhisneckasshereturnsthekiss.

“Stoplookingatthem.You’reshowingtoomuch.Kissme.”
Ilookawayfromthemandgiveherapeckonthecheek.That’sallIcangive.EventhoughFaith

hasapparentlygottenovermealready—totallymyfault,andIknowit—I’mfarfromoverher.AndI
refusetodoanymorewithElizabeththanwhat’snecessary.

Fate,orinthiscase,mymother,takespityonmebeforeanythingelsehappens.Shecallsusinto

dinner.Igototakemyseat,onlytorealizethatMr.Tall,Dark,andScaryisseatednexttome.Thisis
goingtobejustgreat.Ialreadywanttostabthebastardwithmysteakknife,andnowhe’sseatednext
tome.Iclutchtheknifewhichmakeshimchuckle.

“Don’teventhinkaboutit.I’dtakeyoudownbeforeyouevenraiseditfromthetable.Youfucked

up, and now you have to see the consequences. I mean, seriously, you picked her over Faith?” he
motionsacrossthetabletoElizabethandshakeshishead.

“It’snoneofyourdamnbusiness.”
“That’swhereyou’rewrong.Faithismybusiness,andItakemyworkveryseriously.”
“Whothefuckareyou?”Iask,louderthanIhadintended.Allotherconversationatthetablestops.
“Gavin,thatisenough.NathanisFaith’sfriendwhosurprisedherbycomingforavisittoday.If

youcan’tbecivil,youshouldleave.”

“Me?I’mgettingkickedoutwhilesomerandomguyFaith’sfuckingisallowedtostay?Thebed’s

notevencold,andyet,I’mtheonlybadguyhere?”

ThedangerIsensefromthisNateguyisreal.HeliftsmeoffthefloorbymyneckbeforeIeven

seehimleavehisseat.Iclawathishands,butitdoesnothing.He’stoostrong.

“Lethimgo,Nate.”
“Notuntilheapologizestoyou.Yousaidhebrokeupwithyoutogetbacktogetherwithhisex.He

hasnorighttotalkaboutyoulikeyou’resomewhore.Iwon’tstandforit.”

“I-I’msorry.Really,Iam,”Imanagetosqueakout.
Hedropsmebackintomyseat,butstaysstanding.“Areyoureadytogo,Faith?”
“Yeah.Iam.I’msorrywecausedascene,Susan.”
“Youhavenothingtobesorryfor.Ihopethatmyson’sbehaviorwon’tstopyoufromcomingback

toworktomorrow.”

“Oh.Ican’tworkinthatkitchenwithGavin.I’msorry,butIcan’t.”
“Then work for me. You’re intelligent and talented. We can use all the help we can get with the

changesI’mmaking.”

“I’dlikethat.Thankyou.”
Mymomgoesaroundthetabletohugher.“Nothingtothankmefor.EventhoughI’veonlyknown

youashortwhile,you’vebecomesomethinglikeadaughtertome.”

“Thisnightjustgetsbetterandbetter.”
“Gavin,Iamnotgoingtotellyouagaintobequiet.”
Shelooksmeintheeye,andIknowshemeansit.Thefuryinhereyesstokesmyownrage.I’m

moredeterminedthanevertoseethisthrough.Faithisgoingdownhard,andI’mgoingtobesmiling
theentiretime.

CHAPTER5

Faith

“Well, that was fun. You actually slept with that asswipe?” Nate asks me as we drive back to my

place.

“He wasn’t like that when we were together. I don’t know what happened today, but something

changedforhim.”

“Itcan’tbethatchick.Shewasalittletoodesperateformytaste,andyouknowI’mnottoopicky.If

Iwasn’tinterestedinhittingthat,Ican’timagineyourchefwould.”

“Yeah. He told her repeatedly that he didn’t want her, but now he’s with her again. I know

something’sgoingon.”

“She wants him, that much I could tell. He, on the other hand, was much more interested in

watchingmeputmymouthonyou.AndwhenItouchedyourhair,Ithoughthewasgoingtotryand
comeforme.‘Try’beingtheoperativeword,ofcourse.”

“Ofcourse,”Itellhimwithasmile.
Gavinwouldn’thavestoodachance.AndsinceNate’sreallypissedonmybehalf,I’mprettysure

hewouldn’thaveheldback.Itwould’vegottenreallyuglyifGavinhadn’tbackeddown.Atleasthe
hasafewbraincellsleft.

“Shelooksfamiliar,too.”
“Who?Elizabeth?”
“Yeah.IfeellikeI’veseenhersomewherebefore.Ijustcan’tplaceher.”
“Ainsley ran her picture through all the recognition software, but she didn’t find any match with

ourmissionsoranything.”

“Maybeit’llcometome.”
“Ormaybeyou’rejustobsessedwithherandwantherforyourself.”
“Thatwouldbeabig‘no’.YouknowI’mnotaonewomanguy.”
“Youcouldbe.”
“Youoffering,Faith?IknowI’magoodkisserandall.”
“No.Iamdefinitelynotoffering.Youdohavekissingskills,butIwasthinkingofsomeoneelse.”
“Allyouwomenwanttoplaymatchmaker.ReinaandMatt.Andnowmeand…?”
“You know Reina and Matt belong together. And you also know who I’m talking about, so don’t

playdumb.It’snotagoodlookonyou.Toostereotypical.”

He laughs. A booming, full belly laugh. We both know his IQ’s off the charts. “You’re the best,

Faith.Neverletsomeassholetellyoudifferent.”

“Nicetryonre-directingourconversation.”
“Fine,Dr.Faith.IwantJade.Doesn’tmeanI’mgoingtoeverhavehersinceshe’smadenomove

thatsheseesmethatway.ButIwanther.”

“Formorethansex?”
Hesighsheavily.“Yes.Formore.Iwanttoputaringonherfinger.There,Isaidit.Areyouhappy

now?”

“Ohyeah.Extremely.”
“Don’tplantheweddingyet.Itoldyoushehasn’tshownanyinterest.”
“Bereadywhenshedoes.”
“FromyourmouthtoGod’sears.”
“He’salwayslistening.You’vejustgottahave—“
“Don’t you dare finish that sentence, or I’m going to burst out laughing again. I’m trying to pay

attentiontotheroad.”

“Yeah,yeah,”Ismile.
Atleastonecouplemightenduphappy.ItmaynotbeGavinandI,butI’velearnedthehardwayto

takewhateveryoucangetinlife.I’mnotmakinglemonadewiththelemonsbeinglobbedatme,butI
amgoingtomoveon.Ihaveto.

***

Gavin

I’m not watching for Faith. Nope. I’m just looking outside to see if there’s anything interesting

goingon.

“IthinkitwouldbebestifyouwereinthekitchenwhenFaithgetshere.”
“SonowIcan’tevenbewhereIwantinthehousethatIown?”
“Gavin,Idon’tknowwhat’sgottenintoyouinthesepast24hours,butweallknowyou’reinlove

withFaith.”

“She’snotwhatsheseems.”
“What are you talking about? She’s one of the most straightforward people I’ve ever met. Aside

frombringingthatyoungmantodinnerinordertomakeyoujealous,everythingshe’ssaidanddone
hasbeenontheupandup.She’salsobeenthoroughlyvetted.Iwouldn’taskhertoworkwithmeif
shewasn’tcleared.”

“Whatever.I’mgoingtostartonlunchifthat’sokaywithyou.”
ShegrabsmyarmasIturnaway.“Iloveyou,Gav.IknowIdidn’tshowitproperlyformanyyears,

butIdo.Iwanttoseeyouhappy.Webothknowthatwon’thappenwithElizabeth.Whatever ’sgoing
onwithFaith,fixit.Youdon’twanttoliveyourliferegrettingthefactthatyoudrovethepersonyou
loveaway.”

“We’renotyouanddad.WhatFaithandIhadwasnogreatlove.”
“Obviouslynot.”
IwastooinvolvedintheconversationwithmymomtosenseFaithentertheroom.She’sinablack

sleevelessdresswithawhitepatternalloverit.It’sgotahighneck,butashorthemline.Onesidedips
downlower,makingitalmostworkappropriate.Almost.Thestrappyheelsonherfeetmakemethink
aboutverybadthings,butIkeepmyeyescold,myvoiceevencolder.

“Youshouldbeinasuit,”Itellherwithasneer.
Her smile falters. Damn it. Why does that make me feel like I’ve been stabbed in the heart? “I-I

didn’tknow.ShouldIgochange,Susan?”

“No. Of course not. You’re not part of my senatorial staff, and they’re all dressed down here

anyway. Unless we’re entertaining, you can feel free to wear jeans and a t-shirt. Whatever you’re
comfortablein.”

“Thanks.IthinkI’lldodresses.It’sanicechangefrommychef’scoat.”
“Worksforme.Let’sgetyousettledatyournewdesk.”

Theyhavetowalkbyme,soIreachforFaith’shair,usingittopullhertome—andnotinthewayI

want.“I’mwatchingyou.”

Shestepsonthepartofmyfootthat’sexposedinmyclogwithherspikedheel,causingmetolet

hergo.“Touchmyhairagain,andyou’llbewatchingmekickyourass.”

BeforeIcanrespond,mymomcallsouttous.“Leaveheralone,Gavin.I’mreallyoverhavingto

tellyouthat.”

“Yes,mother,”Ibiteout.
I’m just loving how my mom is so taken in by the woman who’s trying to take her down. And I

havetostandbyandwatchuntilIcanexposeFaithforthevillainthatsheis.Selenesaidit’sgoingto
takeheracouplemoreweekstoputeverythingtogether.Icanbecivilfortwoweeks.Hell,Icando
anything in two weeks. Including fall in love with the wrong woman. No one ever said protecting
yourfamilywaseasy,andI’mfindingoutjusthowharditcanbe.

I manage to make lunch for everyone without over-analyzing the fucked up situation I’ve made

myselfapartof.Iseteverythingoutonthetablesinthegreatroom.Mymomwantseverythingcasual
from now on, unless we’re entertaining donors. That’s fine by me. I’m happy to make sliders,
sandwiches, fries, and potato salad. Everyone files in and immediately starts filling their plates.
EveryoneexceptforFaith,thatis.

Shepullsalunchcontaineroutofherpurseandsetsitonherlap.Iwalkoverwithmurderonmy

mind.

“Myfood’snotgoodenoughforyou,chef?”
“Ididn’twanttotakethechancethatyou’dpoisonme.”
“Don’tflatteryourself.Idon’tthinkenoughofyoutoevenwastethatkindoftime.”
“Whyareyouoverherehasslingmeaboutmylunchifyoudon’tcare?”
I have no answer for that, so I just fume silently while I see what she’s got. She made her own

sandwich—roastbeefwithpicklesandmayoonapretzelroll,homemadepotatochips,andaPepsi.
Mymouthiswateringjustlookingatthefoodwhileshetakesitout.IfFaithmadeit,ithastobegood.
Sheseesmelookingandsighs.

“Wouldyoulikesomeofmylunch,Gavin?”
“Yes,”IsaybeforeIcanthinktostopmyself.
“No.Ofcoursehedoesn’t,”Elizabethsaysatthesametime.
Iwhipmyheadaround.“Whatareyoudoinghere?Ithoughtweweremeetinglater.”
“It’sagirlfriend’sjobtokeepherboyfriendguessingandsurprisehimoften.”
“Ofcourseitis.”
Godhelpme,butIwanttostrangleherrightnow.ButIrealizethatsheactuallysavedme,sonowI

justwanttostranglemyself.WhatwasIthinking?Iwasgoingtoeatwiththeenemy.Ialreadyslept
withher,butsharingfoodwould’vebeensomuchmoreintimate.Ican’tfallintothattrapagain.

“C’mon,sweetheart.Let’seatsomeofthefoodI’vebeencookingallmorning.Ican’twaitforyou

totrymypotatosalad.”

“Yum.”
Faithrollshereyes,butIseethehurtinthem,too.Good.Iwasgoingforadirecthitandgotone.I

can’twaitforthekillshot.

***

Faith

WhydidIeverthinkIwasinlovewithGavin?Ohyeah,becauseIam.Iknowhefeelssomething

for me, too. He nearly went insane when Nate was kissing me last night. And I know he wanted to
sharemylunch.IjustwishIknewwhatwasgoingonwithhim.

Ipushthosethoughtsasideasoneoftheotherstaffers,Judy,comestositwithme.“Hi,Faith.It’sso

greattohaveyoujoiningtheteam.”

“Thanks.I’mlookingforwardtoworkingwitheveryone.”
“Lastnightwasprettywild.Imean,Gavinandyourfriendalmostcametoblowsoveryou.”
“Boyswillbeboys.”
I’mnotlikingwherethisisgoing.Iknowthey’reallcurious,andI’vebeenaskedlotsofquestions

today.Nooneelsehasbeenthiscombative,though.

“I’msorry.I’mprobablycomingacrossasabitchoracrazyperson.Orboth.Wejustdon’tusually

havesomuchexcitementaroundhere.Imean,sure,therearefightsontheHill,butnormallythings
arequietwhenSenate’snotinsession.Iwasn’tmeaningtopry.”

“It’sfine.I’mnotusedtosomuchexcitement,either.”
At least not when it’s centered on me. I’m usually the one getting the girl out while the guys are

fighting. No one’s ever fought over me before. I know on Nate’s side it was just his big brother
mentalitytowardsme,butforGavin,itwasmore.WhichmakesthiswholethingwithElizabethallthe
morefrustrating.Hopefullythegirlswillfindsomething—ornot—soon.

Afterlunch, Susan showsme more stuffI can help herwith. Thanks tomy foundation training, I

know every computer system known to man. I mean, I’m no Ainsley, but I’m more knowledgeable
thanprobably90%ofthepopulation.Sothisisallapieceofcake.She’sbasicallytaskingmewithher
scheduling.ShesaiditwillfreeupJudytostarthuntingdownnewbackers.Truthfully,thisisbetter
thanthekitchenasfarasthemission—andmyheart—areconcerned.Ainsleycould’veeasilycracked
the computers, but now I can give her the passwords allowing her more time to focus on more
importantthings.

I’mpackingupforthenightwhenJudystopsbymydesk.Sheinvitesmeouttodinneranddrinks

withsomeoftheotherstaffers.IagreebecauseIknowIshould.Ireallyjustwanttogohomeandtake
alongbathwhiledrinkingaglassofwine,butIknowIneedtotryandfitin.AllthroughdinnerIplay
my part. I laugh when I should, flirt back when some of the guys playfully hit on me, and just
basicallymakethemthinkI’mcarefreeandfun.Bythetimeweleavetherestaurant,JudytellsmeI’ve
woneveryoneover,andtheythinkofmeasoneofthemnow.

Thisgoesonforthenexttwoweeks.Duringtheweek,Iplaythepartofschedulerduringtheday

andfun-lovingco-workeratnight.Ontheweekends,IworkwithAinsleyandTegantotryandfigure
this mess out. Following the timeline from before I started working on this case, some new
informationissettobesoldanydaynow.Despiteallourefforts,we’restillatacompletelossasto
whotheleakis.

I’m at my desk, going through emails and popping things into the calendar when Judy stops by.

“You’regoingoutwithustonight,right?”

“Ofcourse,”Itellherwithasmile.
“Areyougoingtobringthathottieofyours,orareyoustillkeepinghimalltoyourself?”
They’vebeenbuggingmetobringNatewithus,buthe’sbeenonamissionprovidingback-upto

Audrey.AlthoughMatt,Nate,andAidenaren’tofficiallypartoftheSociety,theyhelpusoutwhenwe
need it. Matt is CEO of Corrigan & Co. while the other guys head up the security team for the
company.Theycancomeandgowhenweneedhelp,whichmakesthingseasierforallofus.Natejust
gotbacklastnight,soImightcallhimtoshuteveryoneup.

“Hejustgotbackintotown,butI’llcallandaskhim.”

Sheappearstobewaitingformetodoitrightnow,soIgetoutmyphoneandcallhim.Heagrees,

andIgivehimthedetailsaboutwheretomeetus.ItellhimIlovehimbeforehangingup.Ido love
him.Likeabrother.

“ElizabethandIwouldlovetojoineveryonetonight,too.”
“Oh,Gavin.Umm…sure.Imean,areyouokaywiththatFaith?”
“Sure,whywouldn’tIbe?”
Maybebecausethey’vebeentakingeveryopportunitypossibletoshowusallhowhappytheyare

together.Kissing,andgroping,andjust…ugh.I’vehandleditherebecauseIhadto.Iknoweveryone’s
been looking at me to see how I react to their PDA. So I have to maintain a professional persona
whileI’mhere.Idon’tknowhowwellthatwillholdupatarestaurant,especiallywithNatethere.He’s
goingtoPDAthehelloutofthesituation,andI’llhavetoplayalong.AndapologizetoJade.Again.

Beforeanyofuscansayanythingelse,wehearthefrontdoorburstopenandfootstepsechodown

thehall.Iautomaticallyreachformybag,butbeforeIcangrabmygun,menareintheroomwith
gunspointedatme.

“FaithPorter,youareunderarrestfortreasonandcrimesagainsttheUnitedStates.Youhavethe

righttoremainsilent…”

CHAPTER6

Gavin

What the fuck just happened? Faith was just arrested and led out in handcuffs. For treason? That

meansstatesecretsreallywerebeingsold.There’snowayshedidit.Imean,shecouldn’thave.Could
she?Didshemakeanerrorwhentryingtoblackmailmymomandaccidentallyincriminateherself?
OrdidElizabethandSelenelietomeallalong?Ineedtotalktothem,orsomeoneelsewhocanhelp
mefigureoutthismess.

“Gavin,whathappened?”
“Faithwasjustarrestedfortreason.”
“What?No.Shecouldn’thavedoneit.”
Somethingisoff,though.Iknowmymom,andshe’snotactingassurprisedassheshouldbe.She’s

alsonotlookingmeintheeye.OhmyGod.Whatifshewasn’tbeingframed?No¸that’snotpossible.
Mymomcan’tbeinvolvedinthis.I’mjustallmesseduprightnow.Idropintothenearestchairand
putmyheadinmyhands.

“Thisissofuckedup.Faithwouldn’tdothis.”
“Ijustsaidthat.We’llgetheralawyer.LetmegofindJudy.”
Sheleavestheroom,andIknowwhoIneedtocontact.Ican’tcallherbecausemyphoneisbugged,

justlikethiswholehouse.Ineedtodothisinperson.ItossmyphoneontothedeskbeforeIleave.

BecauseIknowmycarisprobablybuggedandbeingtracked,IdrivetoFremontSt.andparkinthe

garage.IwalkovertotheGoldenNuggettorentacar.Mycreditcardmaybetracked,buttheywon’t
haveenoughtimetotrackthecar.Atleast,Ihopenot.

I pull up to the guard gate at Corrigan & Co. where I give my name and ask to speak to Jane

Corrigan. I sit in my car for a moment gathering my thoughts. What I’m about to do will change
everything.IknowIhavetodoitbecauseinmyheart—andmymind—IknowFaithisinnocent.I’ve
beenliedto,andIneedtoownuptomymistakesandhelpfighttofreethewomanIlove.ThenIneed
towinherback.Firstthingsfirst,though.Ihavetogetoutofmycarandwalkintothatbuilding.

IgetintothelobbyandseeNatewalkingwithtwoothermen.Nooneelseisthere.Noreceptionist.

Nothing.“WhatdoyouwantwithJaneCorrigan,Gavin?”

“That’snotreallyanyofyourbusiness,Nate.”
“Mygrandmotherisdefinitelyourbusiness.Soanswerhisquestion.”
“You’reMattCorrigan?Iknewyoulookedfamiliar.”
“Iam.NateandAidenaretheheadsofsecurityformycompany.Iwon’taskyouagainwhatyou’re

doinghere.”

“TheNSAjustraidedmyhouseandarrestedFaithfortreason.”
“Excuseme?’Hiseyesbugout,thengocoldasice.
“Itwasashocktome,too.”
“Get the word out, Nate,” Matt says and then looks back at me. “Thanks for the info, but you

could’vecalled.Whyareyouhere?”

“Iactuallycouldn’tcallfrommyphone.That’spartoftheproblem.I’dratherexplainitjustonce.

WhichmeansIneedtoseeyourgrandmother.”

“Fair enough. We need to pat you down. And I should warn you—Faith’s friends aren’t going to

take her arrest well. They’ll want blood, and since they all know just how much you’ve hurt her,
you’relikelytobethedefaulttarget.Theonlyreasonyou’restillstandingatthemomentisbecauseI
wanttohearwhatyouhavetosay.Afterthat,allbetsareoff.”

“Igetit.I’mheretotryandhelp.I’mprettysureIwasliedto,andnowIneedtomakeitright.”
IliftmyarmswhileMattandAidenpatmedown.Whenthey’resatisfied,weheadintooneofthe

elevators.Mattusesaretinalscantoactivateasecretpanelinside.Wegodown,insteadofup,whichis
alittlesurprising,butwitheverythingthat’salreadygoneontoday,nothingshouldfazeme.

Theelevatoropensintoacavernousroomfilledwithcomputersandmonitors.Peoplearerunning

around,yellingthingstoeachother.InthemiddleofthechaosisasmallblondewhoIimmediately
recognize.IstopshortwhenIseeher.IguessIcanstillbesurprised.

“Holyshit.You’reZackTaylor ’sgirlfriend.”
AllconversationstopsuntilthefootballGodhimselfspeaksfrombehindme.“Fiancée,actually.”
“Whatareyoudoinghere?Youshouldbeatthestadium.”Ainsley’slookingathimwithconcernin

hereyes.

“I heard about Faith from one of the team executives. He was meeting with the senator when she

wasarrested.Hesaiditinpassing,butIknewimmediatelywhohewastalkingabout.Ineedtohelp
breakherout.”

“We’renotbreakingherout,Zack.Well,atleastnotunlessweabsolutelyhaveto.Iappreciatethe

offerofhelp,though,”awomanIrecognizefromthephotographsI’veseen,tellshim.

“Anytime,Reina.ImeanIcouldpretendtobevisitingandthrowafootballbomborsomething.”
“Honey, you’re a receiver, not a quarterback. It wouldn’t look natural for you to throw the ball.

Andwe’renotputtingabombinyourfootball.Thatwouldmakeyouthenumberonesuspect.Ifwe
need you, I’ll call you. I promise. Now please go back and practice. This weekend’s game is an
importantone.”

“Babe.”
“Iloveyou,butyou’rejustgoingtodistractmeifyou’rehere.Ineedtofocusonwhodidthisto

her.”

“IthinkIknow.”
Allheadsturntomeagain.Itellmyselftoshownofear,butIdon’tthinkit’sworking.Theamount

ofhostilitythat’spouringmywaycouldknockoutHercules.It’sreallythatstrong—Icanfeelthehate
likeit’saphysicalthing.

“Whatexactlydoyouthinkyouknow?”Ainsleyasksme.
“Weshouldprobablysitdown.It’snotafastoreasystorytotell.”
“I’mstayingforthis,”ZacksaysashepullsAinsleytohim.Shelookslikeshemightprotest,buthe

silencesherwithakiss.

“Weshouldgoupstairsandleteveryonedownherecontinuetheirjobs.”
Reinaleadsusallintoelevators,andweheadbackuptothemainfloorintothefoundationoffices.

Wefollowherintoalargeconferenceroomthathasacoolmiddletableshapedlikeastarwithextra
seatsallaroundthewall.

Everyoneintheroomfindsseats.Momentslater,JaneCorriganandCyndiEvansentertheroom,

alongwiththreeotherwomenaroundtheirage—I’dbeentoldtheywereinvolved,butnowIknow.I
justdon’tknowifwhatIwasledtobelieveistrue.Ireallydon’tthinkitis.Behindthemcomesome
morewomen,andacoupleofmen.Wheneveryoneisseatedaroundtheroom,Ibegintotellmyside
ofthestory.

“Twomonthsago,awomannamedElizabethapproachedmeatapartyinD.C.whereshetoldme

thatasecretorganizationofwomenwasabouttogoaftermymotherandframeherforsellingstate
secrets.Ilaughedheroffatfirst.Imean,comeon,asecretsocietyofwomen?That’srightupthere
withKennedyconspiracytheories.”

“Butyoudideventuallybelieveher,didn’tyou,Gavin?”Mrs.Corriganasksme.
“Yes. After she showed me pictures of Faith shooting people, while wearing many different

disguises.Theone…theoneIremembermostwasofanoldwomanonherknees,beggingforher
life.Inthenextshot,she’sonthegroundshotbyFaith’shands.HowwasIsupposedtonotbelievethat
shewasevil?Thatyouallwereevil?”

“Thatwomenspentherlifepretendingtocarefortheneedychildreninhercity,wheninfactshe

wassellingthemnightlytothehighestbidder.ThousandsofchildrensufferedbeforeFaithendedher
life,”Reinatellsme.

“I-Ididn’tknowthat.”
“Whywouldyou?Wedon’tadvertisewhatwedoforareason,Gavin.Ifwe’reexposed,wecan’t

helppeople.Whilewecan’tsaveeveryone,wedothebestwecantomakeadifference.”

“Ishouldn’thavebelievedElizabeth.Butlikeyousaid,Idid.Ibeganapersonalrelationshipwith

herwhilealsohelpingputtheplansofher,andherboss,intomotion.”

“YouknewwhoFaithwasattheball,didn’tyou?That’swhyyousleptwithher.”
“Yes,Mrs.Corrigan.Idid.”
“Yousonofbitch,”MattCorrigansaysashelungesforme.
IttakesbothofhisfriendsandZackTaylortostophimfromgettingtome.“Nothingyoucansay

tomeisworsethanwhatIthinkofmyselfatthemoment.”

“I’mfine.Letmego.Iwon’thurthim.Yet.”
“Please continue, Gavin. Just be aware that I will unleash my grandson, his friends, and every

womaninthisroomonyouifIneedto.”

“Iunderstand.Soyes,IapproachedFaithknowingwhoshewas.Ididn’tthinkshe’dgohomewith

me, but I had to try. We had a great night where I found that I actually liked her. It wasn’t until she
startedworkingwithmethat‘like’startedturninginto‘love.’Idoloveher.Ipromiseyouthat.”

“Ifyouloveher,whydidyoudumpher?Orwasthatallpartofyourplantobeginwith?”Reina

asksme,hereyesblazingthroughmelikealaser.

“No, Reina. I swear it. I wasn’t ever expecting to fall in love. When I did, I wanted to end

everything.ButElizabeth’sbossconvincedmethatIwasjustbeingblindedbylust.Ineededtoprotect
mymother.Atleast,IthoughtIdid.Now,I’mnotsosure.”

“We’llcomebacktoyourmotherinaminute.TellmemoreaboutElizabeth’sboss.”
“I’veonlyseenheronceduringavideochat.HernameisSelene.”
All of the women at the table stand at once, looking beyond pissed. It’s Reina who speaks, and I

swearthetemperatureintheroommustdropaboutfiftydegreeswhenshedoes.

“Thatbitchshould’velearnedherlessonwhenshewasfired.IfshethinksI’mgoingtoletherhurt

Faithagain,she’sdeadwrong.Isweartoyou,Jane.Iwillkillherwithmybarehands.”

“Wait,sheworkedwithyou?AndhurtFaith?OhmyGod!AndIhelpedherdoitagain?”
“Youdidn’tknow,Gavin.Butyoudonow.Chooseasidebeforewegoanyfurther.”
“I’mhere,aren’tI?IchoosewhateversideFaith’son.I’llhelpyouinanywayIcan.Justtellme

whattodo.”

TheysitdownandReinafacesmeagain.“Whyareyounotworriedaboutprotectingyourmother

anymore?”

“WhenFaithwasarrested,shecameintotheroomafterward.Therewassomethingoffabouther

responsetoallofit.Shedidn’tseemsurprised,andwell,Ijustwasgettingaweirdvibeoffofher.”

“Iwasn’tsurprised,Gavin.Iknewsomeonewasstealingstatesecrets.It’sdefinitelynotFaith,butit

issomeonewhoworksforme.”

“Mom,you’reapartofthis?”
“I’mtheonewhoaskedfortheirhelp,butI’mnotpartoftheirorganization.Justafriend.”
“SoFaithknewyouweren’tinvolved?”
“No.Noneofusknew,”Ainsleysays.
“I needed Faith, and by extension the rest of the women, to suspect me so she could clear me

withoutprejudice.Wheneverythingcameout,Ihadtobeabovereproach.”

“That’swhyyoulikedherfromthebeginning.”
“No,Gav.Ilikedherbecauseshemadeyouhappy.Icouldseeitthefirstdayshecametothehouse.

She challenged you and didn’t give you an inch. I’ve never seen you smile so much. The fact that
she’sapartofthisorganizationwasanaddedbonus.”

“Howdidyouevenknowwhotoaskforhelp?”
“Themostpowerfulwomenintheworldknowthisorganizationexists.Thoseonthesideofevil

will never find it because of the many protocols put into place when asking for help. But if you’re
honestandoneofthegoodguys,you’llpassthetestandbegrantedameeting.”

“HowdoesSeleneknowaboutit?AndhowcouldshebesureFaithwouldbetheoneassignedtoall

ofthis.Elizabethwassureshewouldbe.”

JaneCorriganistheonewhoanswers.Itseemstoalmostcauseherphysicalpaintotellmewhat

shedoes.“Seleneusedtobeoneofus.Shewaswithusalmostfromthebeginningandwasincharge
ofmartialartstraining.Mostofthewomentendtobecomemorecompassionatewhileworkingwith
us, but she went the opposite way. Selene became harder. I saw it happening, but thought we could
controlherbykeepingherinthebuildingandnotsendingheroutonmissions.Itwasn’tuntilFaith
cametousduringhertrainingthreeyearsagothatReinaandIrealizedshewasoutofcontrol.”

“Faithcausedhertobefired?Shit,nowondershehatesher.”
“Faith did what the rest of us should’ve done. We were too scared to speak up when she hurt us.

Granted,wejustgotbruises,butIstillblamemyselfeverydaybecauseifIhadsaidsomething,she
wouldn’t have been able to hurt her.” The blonde with the bright red lips and rocker clothes starts
cryingasshetellsmethis.

“Stella, it was not your fault. I wish all of you who trained with her would’ve felt comfortable

comingtomeorJane,butwhathappenedtoFaithisallonSelene.”

“Wh-whatdidshedotoFaith?”Iask.I’mscaredtoknowtheanswer,butIhaveto.
Reinaturnstolookmeintheeye.“Seleneisaveryvainandproudwomen.Shepridedherselfon

creatingthebestfightersintheworld.Shesawitasablackmarkonherselfifshecouldn’tproduce
theresultsshewanted.FaithwasnotthebestfighterwhenSelenewastrainingher,andbecauseofher
Asian heritage, that seemed to anger Selene even more than usual. She had a stupid, stereotypical
notion that Faith should’ve inherently been the best fighter here. Selene started punishing her by
throwingknivesather,andbeatingherwithnunchucks.Faithkeptquietforallofthat.Itwaswhen
Selene broke all of the fingers in her right hand—to keep her from cooking—that she came to us.
Afterthat,theothergirlstolduswhathadhappenedtothem.”

“Holyhell.Igotinbedwiththedevil—orherminion,atleast.Youfiredherandthoughtthatwould

beenough?”

“No,Gavin.Weknewfiringherwouldn’tbeenough.Ichallengedhertosparwithme.Sheknew

shecouldn’twinbecauseI’mthebestfighterhere—I’mnotbeingegotistical,justhonest,butshewas
too proud to turn me down. I unleashed all the anger I felt for not protecting everyone on her. I
stoppedmyselffromkillingher,butshewasinjured.Shehadtocrawlfromtheroom.Ithoughtshe’d
betoostupidtotryandmesswithanyofusagain,”Reinatellsme.

“IfI’dbeenhere,Iwouldn’thaveletherlive.”
“Wecan’tallbeasbad-assasyou,Matt.Ihadworkedwithherforyears.Shewaslikeasisterto

me.”

“I’mnotputtingyoudown,Princess.Juststatingmytruth.Andpointingouthowdifferentweare.”
Reina opens her mouth, but then closes it again, shaking her head. Cyndi breaks the tension by

speakingtome.

“To answer one of your other questions Gavin, Faith was the natural choice for this job because

she has the skills to pose as a personal chef. Introducing her into your household was easier than
tryingtoreplaceoneyoumother ’sstaffmembers.”

“Ican’tbelieveyouknewallthisanddidn’ttellme,”Itellmymother,lookingherintheeye.
“Iwantedto,butIsawchangesinyouonceyoustarteddatingElizabeth.NowIknowwhy.Atthe

time,Ijustsawyoubecomingcoldanddistant.”

“Yet,youchangedyourpoliticalviewsandwentbacktoyouroldselfwhenIaskedyouto—with

nocomplaint.”

“Iwasalreadyplanningtoannouncethechanges.Itwastime—Ihadadoptedacertainpersonain

ordertowinelections.Therealmewasalwaysinside,waitingfortherighttimetocomebackout.”

“I’msosorry,Mom.Iwastryingtoprotectyou,butIendeduphelpingthepeoplegoingafteryou.

AndnowFaith.”

“Ihaveabadfeelingaboutthis.I’mafraidthatFaithwasthetargetallalong.AndI’malsoafraid

thatsomeoneontheinsideishelpingSelene.There’snowayshecould’vehadsomuchinformation
withoutknowledgefromhere,”Reinasays,theicebackinhereyes.

“No,Reina.Whowouldhelpher?”
“I don’t know, Tegan. But someone did. Since you and Ainsley are the only other two really

involvedinthis,Ineedyoubothtotakeahardlookatyourteams.Audrey,Iwantyoutolookinto
Faith’speople.”

“I was involved, too. I dressed her. I know we’re just fashion, but my team has access to

information,too.”

“You’reright,Stella.Lookintoyourteamaswell.Iwantthemolefoundassoonaspossible.Susan

andGavin,Ineedyoutogohomeandkeepactingshockedaroundeveryonethere.”

“Umm…justsoyouknow,ourwholeplaceisbugged.Soismyphone,andIthinkmycarmightbe.

Ileftmyphoneathomeanddrovedowntowntorentacartotakehere.”

“Gavin!Youletthosepeopleinvadeourprivacy?”
“I really thought I was protecting you. I know I’m an idiot, okay?” I need to say the rest, even

thoughit’sreallybad.Theymaykillmerightnow,butIsayitanyways.“Also,Selenewantedmeto
getasextapeofFaithandItouseasleverage.”

Nateisonmeinseconds,andI’mknockedoutofthechair.Bloodisflowingoutofmynoseashe

landsanotherpunchonmyjaw.“Youpieceofshitbastard.”

“Enough.”
ItonlytakestheonewordfromJaneCorrigantomakeNateletmego.Istumblebackintomychair

asMattcasuallyhandsmesomenapkins.

“Thankyouforstoppinghim,butIdeservedthat.”
“Yes, you did. But we need things to be normal. Your broken nose and jaw are going to cause

suspicionalready.Havingyoudeadwouldonlymakethingsworse.”

“There’snotape,justsoyouknow.Shegotacallandsaidafriendneededhelp.Sheleftthepool

housebeforewedidanything.”

“I was the friend. Her phone sensors picked up the cameras and I called to warn her. We were

concernedthatifIdisabledthem,whoeverputthemtherewouldrealizeweknew,soshewasgoingto

gothroughwithit.”

“Whatthefuck?”Mattasks.
“ThatwasprettymuchmysentimentwhenIorderedhertoleave,”Reinatellshim.Henodsather,

andshesmiles.

“It was because I couldn’t get the tape that Selene made me start pretending to be with Elizabeth

again.ShewantedFaithtosuffer—becauseofherbeingevil.And,ofcourse,Ibelievedher.”

“Idon’tevenknowwhattosaytoyourightnow.HowamIsupposedtogobacktothehouseand

actnormalwithcamerasandmicrophoneseverywhere?”

“Ifuckedup,”IsayasIgetoutofthechair.“Iknowit.God,doIknowit.Anditcostmethewoman

Ilove.I’lldoanythingtohelpher.Tohelpallofyou.Justtellmewhattodo,andI’lldoit.”

“You’ddoanything,Gavin?Evenifitgotyoukilledfordoingit?”
“Yes,Matt.Iwould.”
“No.”
“Mom, I did this to her. It’s already killing me to know that. If I can save her, I’ll do whatever it

takes.”

“Wewon’tlethimbekilled,Susan.Youjustearnedsomerespectfromthepeopleinthisroomby

sayingyou’rewillingtogothatfar,”Janetellsme.

“Nooffense,butthere’sonlyonewomanIcareaboutimpressing.”
“Nonetaken.WeallneedtofocusonFaithatthemoment.Asforyourhouse,becauseyouwerejust

raided by the NSA, I would expect you to have your place swept for bugs. Use that as a cover to
remove everything. Up your security so it will be harder to get in. Sweep everyone coming in for
weaponsanddevices.Exceptforus,ofcourse.Infact,Ithinkyoushouldheadthingsup,Aiden.They
don’t know you yet—you weren’t here when Selene was, and unlike Nate, you haven’t been in the
house.”

“OrkissingFaith.”
“YoukissedAinsley,dude.”
ZackTaylorgrowlsatthat.“I’dprefertonevertalkaboutthatagain,Aiden.”
“I’msureyouwould,Taylor.”
“You’renotreallywithFaiththen,Nate?”
“Icouldbe.”
“Noyoucouldn’t,”Reinatellshim.“Stopit,Nate.”
“Fine.Ijustwantedtomesswithhimalittlemore.”
“Igetit,butI’mgladitwasn’treal.”
“Nah,man.I’dsayshe’slikemysister,butthatwouldbekindofgross.Itwasalljustanact.”
“Now that this is all settled, everyone needs to get back to work. I’ve arranged for Faith to be

isolatedwhilesheawaitsherhearing,andIhaveacallwiththeheadoftheNSAinahalfhour.Weall
needtoactasifnothingelsewillworkanddowhatwecantoclearhername.”

“AndthenwegoafterSelene.”
“OnceFaithisfree,wewillputalloureffortsthereIsa.”
“Ineedtoapologizeforinvolvingallofyou,”mymomtellsthem.
“Ifwe’reright,thiswasallaplantogettoFaith,andus.Soweshouldbetheonesapologizing.The

factthatSelenewouldgosofarastoactuallysellstatesecretsinordertoexactherrevengeshould
tellyouhowfargonesheis.”

“I’mthinkingmoreabouthowsheactuallythoughtshecouldtakeusonandsurvive.Let’sbereal

here.Thebitchwascrazybackwhenweknewher,andshe’sobviouslyonlygottenworse.Wecan’tlet
herwalkawayagain,”agorgeouswomenwithreddishbrownhairsays.

“Agreed,Jade.Onehundredpercent.Shecan’tbeallowedtowalkawayagain,”Matttellsher.

“Dammit, I already admitted I was weak. What more do you want from me, Matt? My blood?

MaybeIshouldsacrificemyself,”Reinayellsasshegetsoutofherchairandrunsforthedoor.

Mattreachesherbeforeshemakesit.Noneofuseventrytopretendlikewe’renotwatchingitall

godownashegrabsherandpullsherintohisarms.

“Don’tyouevenfuckingthinkaboutit.Youarethestrongest,bravest,mostamazingwomanIhave

everknown,Rei.I’llneverletanythinghappentoyou.Never.Sodon’ttalkaboutsacrificingyourself
becausethatshitain’tgonnahappen.”

Hepullsbackalittle,andthenshocksthehelloutofmebycaressinghercheekbeforekissingher

softly.Ihaven’tseenanythingbutroughtoughmilitaryguyfromhim.Iwould’veneverexpectedhim
tobesotender,evenwithawoman.Sherespondsforaminutebeforepushinghimaway.

“Ihaveaboyfriend,Matt.”
“Iknow.”
“Doyouevencare?”
“Whenitcomestokissingyou?No,”hetellsherwithachuckle,tryingtolightenthemood.
“YouknowwhatImean.”
Heturnsseriousagain.“Icare,Princess.Butyouneedsomeonewho’sworthyofyou,andI’mnot

thatguy.Behappy.Pleasebehappy.That’sallthatmatters.”

He walks out before she can respond, tears flowing freely down her face. Damn. I thought I had

romanceproblems,butthosetwo?That’sawholeotherballgame.JanewalksovertoReinaandhugs
her.

“Theshow’sovereveryone.Gettowork.”
IwaittoseehowAidenwantstohandlethis.Ainsleywalksoveraswell.“We’regoingtoneedyou

tocontactSeleneandElizabethonelasttimebeforeweremoveeverything.They’llexpectyoutobe
freakingoutandgetintouchwiththem.I’mgoingtogiveyouatracer.It’llfitinthemetalofyour
belt,and,hopefully,leadmetothem.”

“Shouldn’tyoubetryingtogetFaithout?”
“Mywholeteam’sonthat.It’sjustasimportantformetogetaleadonSelene.Sincewe’repretty

sureshe’sinvolvedinthetreasontoo,Ineedtofigureoutwhoelseisinonthis.”

“WhatshouldIsay?”
Aidenanswers.“Tellthemyou’reshockedthatFaithwasarrested.Askthemwhat’sgoingon.”
“Hehastosaysomethingaboutdisappearingandwhyhelookslikehe’sbeeninabarfight.”
“I’lltellthemthetruth.”
“What?”
“Relax, Ainsley. I don’t mean about here. I’ll tell them Nate insisted on meeting and then he

punchedmeafewtimes.”

“Yeah.That’sgood.”
“I can say I was hoping to trap him by showing up in a different car, but then realized I ran out

withoutmyphone.I’lltellthemhecaughtmebysurpriseandthentookoff,tellingmetostayaway
fromFaith.”

“Ithinkthatjustmightwork,Ainsley.”
“Itisgood.Andthenyoucantellthemthatyourmother ’sinsistingonhavingthehousessweptfor

bugsafterallofthis.I’vegotsomespecialthingsforyou,Aiden.”

Hewiggleshiseyebrows.“Really?Whatkindofspecialthings?”
“I’mstillhere.”
“Iknow,Zack,”hesayswithalaugh.
He’s not laughing as he finds himself on the floor with Ainsley’s combat boot on his chest. “I

kissedyouoncetomakehimjealous.Stopactinglikeitwasmore.I’mtheonlyonewho’sallowedto

messwithmyfiancélikethat.”

“Sorry.Showmeyoursecretagenttoys.”
Zack reaches his hand down to pull him up, and they both shake their heads at Ainsley before

followingherout.Ihugmymombrieflyandthentakeoff.Ihaveadatewiththedevil.

CHAPTER7

Faith

Well,Ineversawthiscoming.IknewmyjobcouldlandmeinjailifIwascaughtonamission,but

Ineverthoughtitwouldbethisone.Imean,I’vetakendownsomereallybadpeople.Notthatselling
statesecretsisn’tbad,butsellingpeopleismuchworse.AndI’veridtheworldofquiteafewpeople
who deserved it. Working in someone’s house and scheduling their fancy dinners should’ve been a
pieceofcake.

Which is probably the reason I’m here. I didn’t expect a threat and so I missed the one that was

lobbedatme.Igotmyonephonecallandusedittocallthelawfirmwehaveonretainerincaseany
of us get into trouble. We can’t call the foundation and expose it, but the firm will reach Jane and
Reinaiftheydon’talreadyknowwhat’sgoingon.

I’m hoping they’re already working to free me. My lawyer got me put into isolation once I was

processed.Badpeopleoftenhavebadfriends.Eveniftheywouldn’tknowmebynameandshouldn’t
knowmebyface,Idon’tliketotakechances.ButwhenIalreadytookthebiggestchanceofalland
lost,Ishould’veknownluckwasn’tonmysidethistimearound.

Gavinlookedshockedwhentheyledmeout,butIstillfeellikehe’sinvolvedsomehow.Maybehe

didn’tknowIwouldbeframed,butheknowssomething.Assoonasmylawyergetshere,I’mgoing
to ask her to get a message to the girls to keep looking into him. And Elizabeth. There has to be
somethingweeithermissedorjusthaven’tfoundyet.

WhileIwait,afemaleofficerbringsinmylunch.Justasimplesandwichandjuice.Aftershesetsit

downandIthankher,sheopensherhandssoIcanseethewordsshe’swrittenthere:“we’reworking
ongettingyouout.”IblinkmyeyestoletherknowIsawitbeforesheturnsandwalksout.Wereally
dohavefriendseverywhere.

Itrytotakemytimeeating,justtokeepbusy.Staringatfourwhitewallsisnotinlinewithkeeping

yoursanity.It’sscarierthanthinkingabouthavingenemiesinjail.IfIdon’tgetout,I’dratherfight
formylifeeverydaythansitaloneinaroomlikethis.Itreallyisapunishment,butIknowforme,
it’scurrentlyaboutsafety.IremindmyselfthatIcandoanythingifIputmymindtoit.Cyndisawthat
inmewhensherecruitedme,andIwon’tletherdown.

MylawyercomestoseemeinwhatIthinkisabouttwohourslater.Shetellsmethatwhoeverset

me up did a great job of it. So far, Ainsley’s team can’t find any traces of who put my electronic
footprintonthecrime.She’shopefulthatthejudgewillgrantmebailbecausenooneknowsaboutmy
realjob.

Myfamilyisnotanoptionandmostofmypersonalmoneyishiddenwell.Anyonelookinginto

mewouldthinkI’mjustyourstandardmiddleclassgirl.Thelawyerletsmeknowthatplansarebeing
putinplaceforahighbailamountsinceIcan’tpayitmyself,anditwouldbeoddforJanetodoit.

“I’m afraid it’s going to be at least one million dollars. Matt wants to pay it himself, but Cyndi

thinksshe’dbeabetteroptionsinceshe’shiredyouforeventsandhasalsobeenseenwithyou.”

“Mattneedstoworrymoreabouttakingcareofhimselfthantakingcareofme.Cyndiisprobably

thebestoption.ButIdon’tliketheideaofhergettingthenegativepublicity.IfI’dhadanyideathat

this might happen to me, I would’ve made sure I had some assets so I could just go to a bail
bondsmen.”

“Honestly,Faith,you’reoneofthelastofthewomenIwouldeverexpecttoendupinjail.You’ve

always been so thorough and careful with everything you do. You had no idea you were being
targeted?”

“No.Noneatall.Ofcourse,Iwasbusydealingwithotherthings.”
“LikeGavin?”
“Youknowaboutthat,too?”
“Inordertohelpyou,Ihavetoknowasmuchaspossible.I’vebeengiventhebasics,butIneedyou

tofillmeinonwhateveryoucantellme.Let’sstartwiththeball,andexactlyhowyoumethim.”

IdropmyheadintomyhandsandlookdownatthefloorasItellhereverything.Shedoesn’tseem

shockedwhenI’mdone.Idon’tknowifit’sbecausesheknewmostofitalready,orbecausenothing
thatgoesonwithussurprisesheranymore.Shehasbeenthechiefcounselforthefoundationsinceit
wascreated.

***

Gavin

Fuckifthatwasn’thard.IjustgotoffmySkypewithElizabethandSelene.Theybelittledmefor

notrealizingthattheywere“sacrificingFaithtosavemymother.”Selenemadesomemorecomments
about wanting to get with me—not even if Hell froze over. And they grilled me about my missing
time.Theyfinallyseemedtobelievemeandsaidtheyexpectedmymomtosweepeverything.When
they said they would sneak a few things back in, I reminded them that Faith is in jail. There’s no
reasonforsurveillancenow.Justincase,Elizabethsaidshewasgoingtospendextratimeherewith
me.Ohjoy.

There’saknockatthedoorandIopenittoletAidenin.“Ineedtosweepforbugsinhere.”
“Okay.Sure,”ItellhimasIplayalong.
Hesmileswhiletakingoutadevice.“Youcantalkfreelynow.Thisjustscrambledeverythinginthe

room.Ainsley’slittlefriendswilltakecareoftherest.”

“Ainsley’sfriends?”
Igetanothersmileashereachesintohispocketandremovesabunchofdust.OratleastIthink

that’swhatitis.Untilhethrowsitatthewallanditstartsspreadingout.Hetakesanotherhandfuland
tossesitintomybedroom.Onelastbunchgoesintothebathroom.IknowImuststilllookconfused
becausehetakespityonme.

“Nanobots,man.They’reprogrammedtofindthebugsanddestroythem.”
“There’stechnologythatdoesthat?”
“Notanythat’soutthereonthemarket.Ainsleylikestomakenewtoysforthegirls,andsometimes

us,totryout.”

“It’slikeJamesBond.”
“More like Charlie’s Angels, especially with Faith in jail. But yeah. It’s pretty cool. She’s pretty

cool.”

“Andyoukissedher.”
“Actually,shekissedme.TomakeTaylorjealouswhenhewasactinglikeanass.”
“Youguysdothatalotthen?Pretendtobewiththegirls?”
“Nah. I mean, we help on mission sometimes, but not as part of a couple. I was just convenient

becauseIwaswalkingbywhenAinsleywasmad.”

“ButNatewasalloverFaith.”
“Youhurther.Wedon’tletanyonehurtthem.Hewantedyoutoknowyou’dfuckedupbypicking

someoneelse.Becauseweknowthere’snoonebetterthanthesetenwomen.”

“Soyoudon’tthinkthey…umm,slepttogether?”
“Noway.Nate’sgothiseyeonsomeoneelse.Well,whenhe’snotfuckingeveryotherwomanin

sight.”

“Doyouhaveagirlfriend?”
“Hellno.Ilikevariety,too.Well,andacertainbrunette.Butshe’snotreadyformeyet.”
“Ellie, huh?” I ask, remembering the way he looked at the beautiful woman with the long brown

hair.IknowhernamefromthefilesIwasshown.

“What?”
“Imaynotbeex-specialforces,butIhavetwoeyes.Isawthewayyouwerelookingatherinthe

conferenceroom.”

“LikeIsaid,she’snotreadyforme.Nowlet’sgetbacktowork.”
HetakesouthiscellphoneandcallsAinsleyashewalksthroughalltherooms.Whenwegetback

tothelivingroom,I’malittlefreakedouttoseemycellphonecoveredinthelittlebots.Aidenlaughs
atmywide-eyedexpression.

“Youreallydogetusedtoit.”
“I’mnotsosurethatIcouldgetusedtoallofthis.Allthespystuff,andsecrets.”
“YousaidyouloveFaith.”
“Ido.”
“Thenyou’lladapt.Becauseifyoudon’t,you’llforcehertomakeachoicethathasherlosingno

matterwhatshedecides.”

“I’dhopeshe’dchoosemeifitcamedowntoit.”
“Andloseeverythingelseinherlife.”
“You’dallabandonher?”
“Never.Butthinkabouthowshe’dfeelifshewashangingoutwithus,butcouldn’tknowwhatwe

weredoing,orhelpus.Somewomenhaveleft,andthey’relivinghappyliveswithoutthefoundation
andSociety,butIdon’tthinkFaith’smadethatway.”

“Iknowyou’reright.I’lladapt.Havingagirlfriendwho’sasecretagentisprettyhot,actually.”
“She’snotyourgirlfriend.”
“Iknow.Butshewillbe.Ican’tlethergetaway.”
“She’sinjailandthinksyou’rewithsomeoneelse.”
“Ican’tgoseeher,canI?Evenwhenshegetsout?”
“Notachance.Whenwetakedowntheshe-devil,youcan.Butit’llbeuptoFaith.”
“Isthereanywayyoucangetalettertoherforme?”
“Youwroteheraletter?”
“Notyet.ButIneedtotellherthings,andifIcan’tseeher,that’stheonlyoptionIcanthinkof.”
“It’sprobablydoable.YouwriteitandI’llseeifIcanhavethelawyertakeittoher.”
“Thanks.Iappreciateit.”
“Youknowifyoufuckheroveragain,I’llkillyou.Thegirlswouldkillyoufirst.AndthenMatt

andNatewouldbeatyourdeadcorpse.ButI’datleastshootyou.”

“Iknow.AndI’dstandthereandletyoudoitifIhurtheragain.”
“Wemightbefriendsoneday.NotnowbecauseFaithhastoforgiveyoufirst.Butifshedoes,I’ll

hangoutwithyou.”

“Thanks.”Ithink.Thatdidn’tsoundlikeacompletecompliment,butthenagain,I’mthinkingthe

guysonlyhangoutwiththegirls.Andrandomwomen,ofcourse.Soit’skindofcooltoknowatleast

oneofthepeopleFaithlovesthinksImightbeokay.

“I’ve got to take care of the cars, and the grounds, but I’ll stop back if you think you’ll be done

today.”

“Iwill.”
Myeyeswidenagainashetakesalittlepouchfromhispantsandputsitontheground.Thelittle

botsallclimbinside.Aidenlaughsashescoopsupthepouchandwalksoutside.

“Catchyoulater.”
Isitdowntowrite.IttakesmeaboutfiftytriesbeforeIfeellikeit’sgoodenough.Istartafireand

burnthepapersthatIcrumpledup.I’mgladItooktheextraprecautionsinceElizabethdecidesthat
sheneedstostopby.

“Hello,darling,”shesaysasshetriestokissme.
Idodgehermouthandglareather.“Businessonly.There’snoonehereforyoutotryandmake

jealous.”

“Idon’tknow.Thatnewsecurityguyyourmomhiredisprettyhot.”
“Haveathim,then.”AidenwouldkillmeifheknewIsentherhisway.Itwouldn’tevenbeworth

thefuck—shekeepsupthedesperateactinbedanddespitehereffortstobesexy,itfallsshort.It’sa
wondermydickstayedhardenoughtofinish.Granted,Iwasthinkingofswimsuitmodelsinsteadof
her,butstill.

“You’rejealous.”
“Umm,no.That’sthelastthingIfeelwhenitcomestoyou.Well,thatandlove.There’snoneofthat

foryou,either.”

“You’resuchacharmer.”
“Didyouhaveareasonforbotheringmetoday?”
“WetoldyouI’dbestoppingbytotryandgetsomemorebugsplacedafterthesweep.”
“Dowhatyouneedto,thenleave.Idon’thavethepatienceforyoutoday.”
“Wehelpedyouprotectyourmother.Youshouldshowmoreappreciation.”
“Iappreciatethatmymomisn’tinjailforsomethingshedidn’tdo.Thatdoesn’tmeanI’mgoingto

fuckyou.”

“You’llbebegging.”
“Foryoutoleave?Yes,yesIwill.”
She stomps around the pool house while I sit on the couch and pretend to watch the news. Aiden

knocks at the door around five and she opens it with a smile. I almost feel sorry for him when she
startsputtingthemovesonhim.Whensheaskshimtotakeouthisphonetoputhernumberinit,she
doesn’trealizehermistake.

“Dude,hasanyoneelsebeeninheresinceIleft?”
“Idon’tthinkso.IdidgotothemainhousetogetlunchbeforeIwrotesomeemails.”
I’mhopingthathepicksuponmetryingtogivehimahintthatIdidn’tleave.Henods,makingit

looklikehe’slostinthought,butIknowhegotmymeaning.

“Well, someone came in here. I haven’t stationed anyone at the gates with detectors yet, so it

could’ve been anyone coming through. The app I have on my phone just alerted me there are new
bugs.I’llneedtosweepinhereagain.I’llmakesuretohavethedetectorssetuptonight,soeveryone
canbemonitored.”

“Damn.Thatreallysucks.I’msorryyouhavetheextraworktodo.”
“It’sfine.”
“No, really. I was going to give you a bonus anyway for getting everything done so fast. Now

you’vedefinitelyearnedit.Hereyougo.”

Ihandhimtheenvelopeandhesmiles.“Thanks.It’llcomeinhandy.”

“Ishouldbegoing.I’llseeyoubothtomorrow,”Elizabethsays.
“Bye. And you really don’t need to come by tomorrow. Especially with Aiden installing the

detectors.It’llbeprettyhecticaroundhere.”

Ilookherintheeye,conveyingwhatanidiotIthinksheisfortryingtoplantbugsagain.“You’re

right.I’llcallyoutomorrowtoseeifthere’sanynews.Goodnight.”

Aidenwaitsuntilshe’sgoneandunleashesthebotsagain.Wewatchthemtakecareofeverything

beforeheleaves.Iflopdownonmybed,butdon’tsleep.I’mtooworriedaboutFaith,andhowshe’ll
feelabouttheletter.Icanonlyhopethatshe’llreaditandnottearitupwhensheknowsit’sfromme.

***

Faith

I’mwalkingintothecourtroomformyarraignment.IlaughalittleasIthinkofStella’sreactionto

seeing me in this ugly orange jumpsuit. At least they let me take a shower. I sit down next to my
lawyer.Noneofmyfriendsarehere.Iknowtheycan’tbe,butit’sstillhard.Gavin’shere,though,on
theprosecutor ’sside.He’sinasuitandisglaringatme.Iwanttopunchhim,butIneedtobegranted
bail,soIforceablanklookontomyface.

The prosecutor makes a good argument for no bail, but my lawyer ’s better. The judge ends up

setting my bail at five million dollars with the added punishment of house arrest. I can’t leave my
apartment except to go back to court. Everyone looks pretty pleased with themselves, until Cyndi
comesforwardtopostbail.Ialmostburstintotears.Ishould’veknownshe’dcome,evenifIdidn’t
seeherwhenthingsbegan.

IchangeintotheclothesmylawyerbroughtmeandgetfittedformyanklemonitorbeforeCyndi

drivesmehome.ThesecurityguysinthelobbyallhugmebeforeIgetintotheelevator.Iwalkinto
myapartmentandgetattackedbymygirls.Theytellmeallthatthey’redoingtotryandclearme.

“Andthenwe’llgoafterSelene,”Tegansays.
“Selene?”
“Let’ssitdown,andI’llexplainitalltoyou,”Reinatellsme.
After I hear everything, I can’t help but feel sick. Gavin knew who I was and purposely seduced

me?Thegirlstellmehesaidhe’dsacrificehimselfforme,andtheycouldtellhemeantit.I’mstill
hurtandangry.IfinallytellthemallI’mtiredandjustwanttosleep.Astheyfileout,Reinahandsme
anenvelope.

“What’sthis?”
“GavingaveittoAidenyesterday.”
“Idon’twantit,”Itellherandtrytohanditback.
“Yes,youdo.Readit.Youdon’thavetoforgivehim,butyou’llregretnotreadingwhateveritishe

thinksheneedstotellyou.”Iknowshe’srightsoIjustnodandhugher.

Igoupstairstomybed,butinsteadofgoingtosleep,Isitandclutchtheletterforoveranhour.I

finallydecidethatIhavetosuckitupandreadit.Itearitopenandpulloutthepage.

Faith,

Thank you for reading this. I was afraid you’d just tear it up, which I totally deserve. But I
need to tell you some things. I’m sure you’ve been told about everything with Selene and
Elizabeth,soI’mnotgoingtowastethisletterwithallofthat.

Iloveyou,Faith.IsweartoyouthatIneverliedtoyouaboutthat.Yes,Iknewwhoyouwere
attheball,andIhadaplantogetyouintobed.ButwhenIdid,everythingchanged.Iknowit
soundshokeyandlikesomethingoutofaromancemovie,butit’strue.Ihadtoleavethenext
morningbecauseIcouldn’thateyouanymore.

Everythingwedidtogetherwasreal.Thecooking,thejokingaround,andthemakinglove.It
wasn’tfake.Ifellforyou,evenasIthoughtIstillhadtotakeyoudown.Iwantedtobelieve
youweren’tbad,andnowIknowyou’renot.Ineverthoughtthey’dframeyou.Iswearit.

I’ddoanythingtotakeyourplace.I’minmyownprison,butIputmyselfhere,soIdeserveit.
I’mgoingtohelpgetyououtandhaveyournamecleared.Idon’tknowwhatIcanbringto
thetable,butI’lldoanything.ReinasaysIneedtoactlikeIstillthinkyou’reevil.I’lldowhat
shesays,butknowthatIdon’tmeananyofit.

I’llbeatyourarraignmentwhenithappens.I’llhavetopretendI’mtherebecauseIwantyou
prosecuted.ButI’llreallybetheretosupportyou.Iknowthegirlscan’tgo,andIwantyouto
havesomeonetherethatyoulove.Ifyouseemeglare,thinkofitasahug.Ifthingslookbad,
I’llsmile.ThatmeansI’mkissingyou.

Whenthisisover,I’mgoingtobegyouforanotherchance.IknowIdon’tdeserveit,butI’m
goingtopursueyou.I’llgiveyouromance,lotsoforgasms,andanythingelseyouwant.You
canhaveitall.Youalreadyhaveallofme.

Idon’tknowifyoucanwriteback,butifyoucan,willyouplease?Evenjusttotellmetofuck
off.Ineedtoknowyou’vereadmywords.Evenifthey’renotenough.

Iloveyou,
Gavin

Ihavenowords.Iwanttogivehimachance,butIdon’tknowifIcantrusthimagain.Ihaveto

writeback,though,andthankhimforthecourthouse.NowthatIknowhewassendingmehugsand
kisses, I can almost physically feel them as I recall his reactions today. I’ll do it in the morning
becauseI’mtoomuchofamessrightnow.Iwipeawaymytearsandgotosleep,dreamingofdark
hairandlaughingeyes.

CHAPTER8

Faith

It’s been two days since I got released from jail. I’m going a little crazy being stuck in my

apartment,butIcan’treallycomplainsincethealternativeisworse.AtleastfromhereIcanhelpclear
myname.Reina’sbeenkeepingmeupdated,andAinsleyassignedmesomeinfotolookthrough.

Wehaven’tfoundanythingsofaronwhoisworkingwithSelenefromSusan’sstaff,butAinsley

thinkssheknowswhothemoleisintheFoundation.ShesoundedverystrainedwhenItalkedtoher
earlier,whichleadsmetobelievethatit’soneofherpeople.Shehandpickedthemall,andhasknown
mostofthemsincecollege.Beingbetrayedbyastrangerisonething.Whenit’ssomeoneyoucare
about, the pain is much worse. I personally know how much that hurts, and I wouldn’t wish it on
anyone.Well,exceptforSelene.Thatbitchdeserveseverybitofpainwe’regoingtothrowather.

Speakingofpeoplewho’vehurtme,IstillneedtowritebacktoGavin.Ijustdon’tknowwhatto

say.Ononehand,I’msoangrythatIwanttokickhisass.ButthenIalsowanttohugandkisshim.
And maybe take him back. Who am I kidding? I’m going to make him grovel, but once I get that
romanceandthoseorgasms,I’mtotallytakinghimback.EveryonesaysI’msensible,whichinthis
casemeansI’mnotgoingtoturnmybackonlove.

There’s a knock at my front door, and I yell for whoever it is to come in. The girls usually just

walk in, so it’s strange that someone’s knocking. I guess they want to give me some privacy in my
littleprison.

“Hey,Faith.”
“Hi Isa. What’s up?” She looks really nervous. Isabelle’s the most quiet of all of us. She’s got a

geniusIQ,butunlikeAinsley,shedidn’tgrowupwithabunchofrowdybrothers.Wehavetopullher
outofherbooksandmakehersocialize.Evenwithus.She’sfierceonhermissions,butmeekinher
everydaylife.Therestofustendtobeextraprotectiveofher.

“I-Ihaveapresentforyou.Ithoughtyou’dwantit.Butmaybenot.”
“I’msureI’lllovewhateveryouhaveforme.”
“Ifyoudon’t,I’mreallysorry.Ijustthought—“
“Breathe,honey.It’sreallyokay.Showmewhatyou’vegot.”
Insteadofspeaking,sheopensthedoor.Gavin’sstandingontheotherside.BeforeIcanthinkabout

it, I’m running to him and jumping into his arms. He stumbles a little at the impact, but recovers
quicklyandwrapshisarmsaroundme.Weholdeachothertightforafewminutes.

“Ishouldprobablygonow.”
“Oh,I’msorry,”IsayasIdropbacktothefloorandwalkbackinsidetohugher.“Thankyoufor

bringinghimhere.Howdidyoudoit?”

“Aidenputhiminhistrunkanddroveover.Ijustlethimin.”
“Thanks.Howlongdowehave?”
“Maybetwohours.Someonewillbebackforhim.We’llknock.”
“You’llknock.StellaandTeganwouldjustwalkin.I’lllockthedoor.”
“Goodidea.”

Ihugheragainandsheleaves.Gavinseemshesitant,andhe’sstillstandingontheothersideofthe

door.

“Areyougoingtostandoutthereforyourtwohours,orareyougoingtocomeinhereandgive

memypromisedorgasms?I’mangryandIwanttopunchyou,too,butthatcanwait.”

Hismouthisonmeimmediately,andheliftsmeupashewalkstothecouch.Mypajamapantsand

tank top are gone within seconds and he has a nipple in his mouth before I even remember that I
wasn’twearingabra.AsIarchintohim,heslideshisfingersintomypantiesandrubsjustwhereI
needhimto.It’snotenough.

I start pulling at his sweater until he lets go of me to pull it over his head, along with his t-shirt.

“Jeans.”

“Youlikemyjeans,darling?”
“Gavin,”Igrowl.
“Oh,youwantthemoff.Icandothat.”
Heleansbackwithasmirkonhisface.Hetorturesmewithhowslowlyheunbuttonshisjeansand

pulls the zipper down. If it’s torture he wants, I can give it as good as he is. I cup my breasts and
squeeze them before moving one hand down my stomach. As I start to slide it into my panties,
Gavin’stheonegrowling.

“Faith.”
“Yes?”
“That’sminetoplaywith.”
“You’veneglectedit.”
“ItwasthehardestthingI’veeverdoneinmylife,”hesaysturningseriousandsittingnexttome.

“Itkilledmetobearoundyouandnotbetouchingyou.Iwantedtoholdyourhandsobadly.”

“Myhand?”
“It’s not all about sex, my beautiful nympho. I hope you know that. I want to ravage you every

chanceIget,butIalsowanttoholdyourhand.Andtrickyouintotakingoutthetrashwhilewecook
somegreatfood.”

“Iwantthat,too.”
“I’mthinkingweneedtotalkbeforedoinganythingelse.”
“You’rekidding right? Yougot me allworked up, and you’renot even goingto finish what you

started?”

“Don’tdothis,Faith.Itoldyouit’snotallaboutsexforme.Don’tmakeitaboutjustthat.”
“Whyaremensoidioticsometimes?”
“Ican’tspeakformyentiregender,butIdon’tknowhowmetryingtoshowyouIcarecouldupset

yousomuch.”

“Youhadyourfuckingfingersonme.IknowyoufelthowwetIam.Thenyoutriedtotortureme

withyourstripteaseandwouldn’tletmetouchmyself.Ineedtocome.Now.”

“Shit. I’m sorry. I was just trying to be a gentleman and do the right thing. I’ll touch you again.

Thenwecantalk.”

“WecantalkafterIgetyourcock.Yourfingersaren’tenoughatthemoment.”
“Howaboutmytongue?”
“Dammit.Ifyoudon’twanttofuckme,justsayit.”
IseethechangeinhimwhenhefinallyunderstandsthatI’mserious.“Takedownyourhair,Faith.”
Idoashesayswhileheputsthecondomon.Istarttoshakeitoutwhenhegrabsmeandflipsme

aroundsoIcankneelonthecouch.Onehandtwistsmyhairandpullsashethrustsintome.Icryout
ashetakesmehard,fuckingmelikeIaskedfor.Anothertugonmyhairhasmeturningmyheadto
lookathim.

“I’mfuckingyoulikeyouasked,Faith.Butjustthisonetime.Onceyougetwhatyouneed,we’re

talking.AndthenI’mmakinglovetoyou.Niceandslow.”

“Okay.”
“Nowholdon.”
Igripthebackofthecouchtighterashereleasesmyhairtoholdmyhipsashepumpsintome.I

know I’ll have bruises, but I don’t care. This is just what I needed and I come as hard as I hoped I
would.HeletsgoasIscream.Ifeelhimshudderashewhispersmyname.Hepullsmebackwardsand
cuddles me to him as he holds me tight. I could get used to this. Again. That’s what scares me the
most.

***

Gavin

“I’vegottotakecareofthings,butI’llberightback,”ItellFaithasIkissthebackofherneck.I

runintotheguestbathroomandgetridofthecondomandwashup.Iwalkbackouttoseehercuddled
upunderthethrowblanketshekeepsonherfavoritechair.“Isthereroomunderthereforme?”

She smiles and nods before lifting up one end. She turns to me as I get comfortable on my side.

“Hi.”

“Hi.”
“Thankyou.”
“That was my pleasure, and you don’t have to thank me for giving you what you want. I love

makingyouhappy.Ihaven’tdoneitenough.”

“Ijustfeel…dumb.”
She’s blushing and looks away. I pull her face back around to me. “Dumb is a word that no one

wouldeverassociatewithyou.What’swrong?”

“Iwassoneedy.”
“Yeah,so?Itookyouclosetotheedgeandleftyouthere.It’sokaytoneedme.Ineedyou.”
“It’sjustthatI-Ihaven’tbeenwithanyonesincewestopped.”
“NeitherhaveI.Youknowthat.Atleastyoushouldknowthat.Didn’ttheytellyouaboutElizabeth

andSelene?”

“Theydid.Ijustwasn’tsure.Imean,maybeyoujusttoldthemitwaspretendwhenyougotback

withher.”

“Icouldbarelystandtobeinthesameroomwithher,evenbeforeIknewthetruth.It’sbeenallyou

sincethatfirstnight,Faith.You’reonmymindallday,everyday.”

“Ithinkaboutyou,too.”
“Doyoustillwanttopunchme?”
“Kindof.”
Imoveawayfromheralittle,liftmychin,andpointtoit.“Goahead.”
“You’realreadybruisedtherefromNate.”
“True.Stomach?”
“Acoupleofdaysago,Iwantedtopunchyoualittlelower.”
Iswallowhardbeforestandingup.Iclosemyeyesandbitemylip.“Okay,”Itellherinasqueaky

voice.

Ifeelherhairbrushmythighsassheleansforward.Insteadoffeelingapunch,Iexperienceher

lipsbrushinglightlyoverme.“IsaidIwantedthatacoupledaysago.NowIjustwanttoknowwhat
youthinkofme.”

“WhatIthinkofyou?”
“Yes,”shesaysasshelooksupatmewithsadeyes.
“Ithinkyou’reamazing.Utterlyandtotallyamazing.”
“Eventhoughyousaw…I…Reinasaidyousawpicturesofmekillingsomeone.”
“Janesaidshewasaverybadwoman.”
“Shewas.”
“Thenyoudidwhatyouhadtodo.”
“That’sneverbeenyourstance,Gavin.YouforgetthatI’velookedintoeverythingaboutyou.”
I sit back down on the couch with her. She’s got the throw wrapped around her like a shield as I

reach over and rub her cheek. “You’re right. I’ve never believed that anyone has the right to end
anotherperson’slife.Wehaveajusticesystemforareason.Iknowit’sflawed,butifwedon’tuseit,
thingswouldbesomuchworse.”

“Soyou’renotokaywithwhatIdo.”
Fuck.I’dnevereventakenamomenttothinkaboutitnowthatIknowwhattheFoundationisreally

about.WhenIthoughtitwasinnocentpeople,IcouldeasilycondemnwhatFaithandherfriendsdo.
BecauseI’vealwaysbelievedacertainway,itshouldstillbeeasytocondemnthem.Irememberwhat
Natetoldmeaboutmakingherchoose.Ijustdidn’tthinkitwouldbebecauseofthis.BecauseIdidn’t
thinkatall.Iletmyloveforheroverridemymoralcompass.That’snotfairtoeitherofus.

“No.I’mnot,”Itellhertruthfully.
“Iwon’tquit.Peopleneedmyhelp.Icanbereplaced,butIdon’twantthat.IlovewhatIdo.Notthe

killing,butit’snotalwayskilling.That’salastresort.Thatwomanassuredmeshewouldneverstop,
thatthemoneywastoowonderful.Evenasshewasbeggingforherlife,shewastellingmeaboutthe
powerfulmenwhowereclientsandwouldgetheroutofjail.Icouldn’tletanotherchildsufferather
hands.”

“We’llfigurethisout.Idon’twanttoloseyou.Ican’tloseyou.”
“Iknewweshouldn’ttalk.”
Faithgetsupandwalksintothekitchen.IfollowherandpullhertomeasIleanagainstthesink.
“Wouldyouratherwejustignoredthingsuntiltheygotsobadthatwehatedeachother?”
“Youhatemenow.”
“Never.I’llneverhateyou.Ijusthatewhatyouhavetodo.Iunderstandwhyyoudoit.ButIwon’t

lieandtellyouitmakesmehappy.You,however,makemeveryhappy.”

“Sowejustignoremyjob.”
“Wouldyoutalkaboutyourmissionswitheveryguyyoudate?”
“Ofcoursenot.Wecanonlytellsomeoneifwe’remarryingthemoratthatstage.”
“Thenjustdon’ttalkaboutanyofitwithme.Iknowyousavepeople,that’sallIneedtoknow.”
“Youwon’tbecurious?”
“Iprobablywillbe.ButIwantalifewithyou.Ican’tchangewhoIam,orwhatIbelieve,butIcan

acceptthat,foryou,thegoodoutweighsthebad.Irespectyou,Faith.AndthatmeansIhavetorespect
whatyoudo.”

“Iwantalifewithyou,too.Aslongasyoudon’tpullanymorecrapwithme.Thatwasseriously

not cool. You made me feel cheap and used when you went back to Elizabeth. I know you weren’t
really with her, but I thought you were. Then I had to find out that you approached me at the ball
becauseyouknewwhoIwas,andnotbecauseyoureallywantedme.”

“Oh, I really wanted you, Faith. I wanted to be cold about the whole thing, but seeing you in that

sexydressandtheneatingyourfood—itdidmein.Yes,Istillwasgoingalongwiththeplan,butwhat
wedidwasallmewantingyou.”

“SoyoucouldmakeasextapeforSelene.”

Ican’tdenyit.WebothknowIwasgoingtodothat.“Ilikedyoualotbythen,butIalwaysloved

mymom.Whichmeantthatshecamefirst.”

“Igetthat—protectingyourmom.Butyoudidn’tevengivemeachance.”
“Didyouevenreadmyletter?”
“Yes.”
“ThenwhydoyoustillthinkIonlywantedyoubecauseitwaspartoftheplan?”
“Becausethosearejustwords.”
“Well this is all action,” I tell her as I lift her onto the island and push her onto her back. “Stay

here.”

IknowwhereshekeepseverythingfromthetimesIwashereandcookedinthekitchen.Igrabwhat

Ineed,fillingaspraybottlewithsomeofit,andmixingafewthingsbeforebringingeverythingover
toher.Faithtriestolook,butIstopher.IdistractherfurtherbykissingherasIgrabthebottle.While
Ideepenthekiss,Istarttosprayherallover.Shestiffens,butthenrelaxeswhensherealizesI’mnot
doing anything too weird. I force myself to pull away and grab the cinnamon sugar mix I made. I
drizzlehandfulsalloverherbody,lettingthecoconutoilIsprayedonabsorbit.ThenIstandbackand
lickmylipsbeforetakingmyfirsttaste.

Istartatherfeetandlickthemclean.AsIworkmywayup,Faithstartstomove.Imoveonehand

up to place on her stomach and anchor her. When I get to her thighs, she starts to buck against my
hand.

“Gavin.”
“I told you I was going to worship your body. You have no idea how good it tastes to mix these

flavorswiththetasteofyou.I’malmostwherewebothwantmetobe,sotrytobepatient,”Itellher
asInibbleandlickonherhipsandstomach.

IlookintohereyesbeforeIdipmyhead.Igiveheronelonglickandgetweakintheknees.IfI

thoughttherestofherwasperfectionmixedwiththesweetness,it’snothingcomparedtothetasteof
that mixed with it. I’ve had my mouth on her before, and loved every minute of it. This is like a
religiousexperience,though.Seriously.I’mreadytocomealloverthefloorasIlickheragainand
again.

Iwanttoplaywithhertits,butnotuntilIcanlickthem,too.Itwouldtakeanuclearbombtogetme

toleavetheplaceI’matrightnow,soItakeherhandsandmovethemupbeforemovingmineback
down.IputtwofingersfromonehandinsideofherwhileIusemyotheronetorubherhipandass.

I can feel her getting close as she starts squeezing my fingers from the inside and there’s more

wetnessformetolickup.Ibitedownalittleonherclitandgetanotherscreamassheholdsmyhead
againandfucksmyface.Ican’ttakeitanymore.I’mabouttocomemyself.Iwraponehandaround
myshaftandpumpupanddownasIlickherdownfromherorgasm.Onceshe’slimp,Imoveupher
bodyasIworkmyselfover.

Itakeanippleintomymouthwhilepinchingherotherone.Thatgetshernoticeandshelooksup,

hereyeswideningassheseeswhatI’mdoing.“You’regettingyourselfoff.”

“Mmm,”Imoanaroundhernipple.
“Stopit.”
Ishakemyheadno.Shedoesn’tlikemyanswerandpullsaway.Notforlong,though.She’satthe

endoftheislandwhenshegrabsmycockandpullsmeintoher.Itrytopullaway,butshe’sgotmy
assandshe’snotlettinggo.

“Condom,Faith.”
“I’monthepill,andwe’rebothclean.”
Alrightthen.I’mgentlerthanthecouchbecauseIreallydidwanttobesweeterthistimearound.I

can’t completely slow down, though. I’m just too far gone, especially with Faith’s legs wrapped

around me while she sucks on my neck and chest. She makes sure not to leave any marks because
there’sachanceI’llhavetotakeoffmyshirtinfrontofElizabethsometime,orshe’llwalkinonme
unannounced.

I’m a little pissed about that. Okay, a lot. I want my girl to be able to mark me. I know she’s not

officiallymygirl,butsheisasfarasI’mconcerned.AndI’dlovetohavebiteandsuckmarksfrom
her. I remind myself that once Faith’s name is cleared, she can mark me all she wants. They’ll take
downSeleneandwecanbefreetoshowwhateverwewant.

“Where’dyougo,Gav?You’renotmoving,”shewhispersinmyear.
“Huh?Ohyeah,I’mnot.Igotlostinthought,”ItellherasIbegintomoveagain.
“Comeinmefirst.Thenyoucantellmeyourthoughtsoutloud.”
Shelooksworried,andIdon’twantthat.“Itwasnothingbadaboutyou.Sostopworrying.”
IforcemyselftoconcentrateonwhatI’mdoing.I’dbehappytostayinsideherallday,butIknow

we’rerunningoutoftime.Istartmovingfasterandshedigsherheelsintomyasstourgemeon.A
fewmorethrustsandI’myelling,andcussing,andjust,yeah.

Ipullhertightintomeandkissherhard.“Thatwasamazing.Ilovednothavinganythingbetween

us.”

“Yetsomethingwasbotheringyou.”
“Notbotheringme,justmakingmeangry.”
“WhatdidIdo?Imadesurenottomarkyou.”
“That’stheproblem.Iwantedtobemarkedbyyou.Tobeclaimedasyours.”
“Areyoumine,though?”
“YouknowIam.”
“So,we’regoingsteadyorsomethinglikethat?”
“Ihavetoask.”
Istepbackandlookaroundbeforegrabbingahandfulofwhisksandholdingthemouttoherlikea

bouquet.Shetakesthemwithalaugh.

“You’resuchadork.”
“Youtookmybouquet,though.Sodoesthatmeanyou’llbemygirl?”
“Hmm,that’sahardquestion.Canyoutellmethebenefitsofdatingyouinsecret?”
“HardispartoftheanswersoIlikethatyouusedthatword.”
Shewhacksmeovertheheadwithoneofthewhisks.“Seriousanswersonly.”
“WellIshouldjustleavethenbecauseIliketobefunwithyou.”
“Gav,please.”
She’s so cute when she’s worried or nervous. “Being serious, I would love to have you be mine

becauseI’malreadyyours.Asoftenasyourfriendscansneakmearound,I’llbeherewithyou.Iwant
tositonthecouchandtalktoyou.WatchmoviesandbadrealityTVwithyou,and,ofcourse,cook
beside you. I think I might want to drizzle something savory on you next time I have you on this
island.”

“Nope.Igettoplaynexttime.”
“Okay,wellthetimeafterthat.Ialsowanttoholdyouandbeinsideofyou.Ican’tlieaboutthat.”
“Pleasedon’t.”
“CanIbelessseriousnow?”
“Youhadtheperfectanswers,soyes.”
“Iwanttolaughwithyouandprankyou.Iknowyoucan’tleavethisapartment,butI’msureIcan

comeupwithsomethingstomakeyoudo.”

“UnlessImakeyoudothemfirst.”
“Youthinkyoucanwin?”

“I’mahead.”
“No,we’retied.”
“Areyousure?IthoughtIwasahead.”
“Whenwouldyouhavegottenahead?”
“WhenImadeyoulickallthatyummystuffoffofme.”
“Thatwasmyidea.”
“Wasit?”
“Yes.Itdefinitelywas.Youcan’ttakecreditformyawesomeidea.”
“CanIstealit?”
“Iguess,butIwashopingyou’dbeinspiredtocomeupwithsomethingonyourown.”
“Iwill.Ijustthinkthecoconut,cinnamon,andsugarmusthavebeengreattogether.”
“Holdthatthought,”ItellherasIlickherneckandthenmotionforhertokissme.
Asourtonguestangle,shemoans.Iknowit’snotcompletelyfromthetreatsoIsmileagainsther

lips.Shesmacksmyarmandglaresatmeassheleansback.

“What’ssofunny?”
“Iwasn’tlaughing,Iwassmiling.Becauseyoumakemehappy.”Shereallydoes.IwishIcouldtell

theworld,butIneedtomakesuresheknowsitatleast.

“I’mhappyrightnow,too.”
BeforeIcansayanythingelse,anintercomcomesonintheapartment.It’sAiden.
“Heylovebirds,IneedtocomeandretrieveGavin.I’mguessingthatneitherofyouarewearing

clothesatthemoment,soIwantedtogiveyouaheadsup.I’llgiveyoufiveminutes.”

“ThanksAiden.”
“Yeah.Thanksman.Foreverything.”
“AnythingforFaith.”
IknowhesaidthattoletmeknowthatI’mnotcompletelyacceptedyet,butI’mtakingitanother

way. I know they’ll do everything they can for her, and it makes me happy to know that so many
peopleloveherandarelookingoutforher.Ican’twaittoprovemyselfandbeoneofthem.

CHAPTER9

Faith

GavinandIhavebeenmeetingsecretlyforaweeknow.It’sstillonlyacoupleofhoursaday,but

that’sbetterthannothing.Ispendtherestofthetimehelpingclearmyname.Ainsley’saskedusallto
meettoday,sothegirlsshouldbeheresoon.ShesoundsmoreandmorestressedeverytimeItalkto
her,soIknowit’sbad.EvenZackhascalledmebecausehe’sworried.

Whenshewalksintomyapartment,Iunderstandwhy.Theyarecanyonsunderhereyes,herhair ’s

messier than usual, and I can tell that she’s been crying. The other girls’ expressions look strained,
andIknowthenthateveryone’sworriedabouther.Andthatthey’vekepttheirworryfromme.

“Ainsley,honey,it’sthatbad?”
Shestartssnifflingagainandburstsintofull-fledgedsobsasshenods.“Itis.”Ittakesheramoment

topullherselftogetherbeforeshelooksaroundateveryone.“It’sJake.ThemoleisJake.”

“What?No,”Stellasays.“Heworshipsyou.He’dneverbetrayyou.”
“Hedid,though.I’vecheckedandre-checked.It’shim.”
“Why?”
“We’reabouttofindout,”Reinasays.“Mattjusttextedthatthey’rehere.”
“You’reinterrogatinghiminmyapartment?”
“Sinceyoucan’tleave,yes.”
There’saknockatthedoor.IgetupandletMattandJakein.IletJakehugmebecausewe’llall

playnice.Fornow.

“Thanksforinvitingmeoverformovienight.”
“Wedidn’t.”
“Ainsley?”
“Whydidyoudoit,Jake?”
He jumps up and turns for the door, stopping when he sees Matt leaning against it. He swivels

aroundrealizingthatthere’snowayout.Hedropsbackdownintohischair.

“Idon’tknowwhatyou’retalkingabout.”
“You’regoingtotellus,Jake.Whetheryouleaveherewithallyourbodypartsintactisuptoyou,”

Reinatellshiminhercoldasiceworkvoice.

“Theicequeenisgoingtousehertoysonme,huh?Goaheadandtryyourbest,bitch.”
He’sonthefloorclutchinghismouthwithinseconds.“Nicekick,LittleMouse,”MatttellsAinsley

asshestandsoverJake.

“You’regoingtotelluswhyyoubetrayedeveryone.Whyyoubetrayedme.Andthenyou’regoing

tohelpusbringyourbossdown.”

“IstoppedtakingordersfromyouwhenyoustartedfuckingMr.FootballGod.”
“ThisisaboutZack?Why?”
“BecauseJake’sinlovewithyou.”
“What?No,Matt.”
“BecauseI’mnotgoodenoughforthegreatAinsley,right?”

“Ineversaidthat.”
“Butyouwerealwaysthinkingit.”
“No.Iwasn’t.IalwaysthoughtIwasn’tgoodenoughforanyoneuntilZackmademefeelspecial.”
“Oh,comeon.Youknewweallwantedyou.Youwerejustalittlecocktease.”
“Youshouldshutyourmouthnow,unlessit’stotelluseverythingyouknowabouthowFaithwas

framed.”

Ididn’tevenseeScottentertheapartment,butthere’snowaytomisshimnow.Theangerradiating

offhimispalpable.Iunderstandwhy.Jakeissomeonehewenttoschoolwithandtrustedenoughto
helpbringontoAinsley’steam.

“I’mnottellinganyofyoujackshit.Tortureme,killme,whatever.YourpreciousFoundationis

abouttocrumble,andthere’snothingyoucandoaboutit.”

“You’rewillingtodiebecauseIdidn’tknowyouwantedtogoonadatewithme?Seriously?”
“Youknew,dammit.”
“Shedidn’t.Taylortoldmeshethoughtnoneofuseversawherasagirl.Italkedtoherlastmonth

andtoldherwedidnoticeher.Shewasshocked,man.”

“I-Ithoughtyouweremockingme.”
“Iwasn’t.Ihonestlythoughtnoonesawme,orwantedme.”
“Seriously?”
“Yes,seriously.AndIthoughtyouweremyfriend.IthoughtIcouldtrustyou.”
“OhGod.WhatdidIdo?”
“Someverybadthings.AndIdon’tmeanthatinagoodway,”Tegantellshim.
“Icantellyoueverything,butitwon’tdoanygood.It’sgonetoofar.We’vegonetoofar.”
“We’llbethejudgeofthat.”
Ainsley and Scott take seats at my dining room table and pull out their tablets. As Jake explains

what he did, they work to undo it. There are a few times when they make him give them a code or
password.Thefirsttimehesaidno,Reinaclampedhisfingerandwasabouttocutitoff,buthegave
in.Afterthat,hedidn’teventrytofight.It’sstillcrazystressfulandtwohourslater,Idon’tfeelmuch
betterthanIdidtostartwith.Yeah,wenowknowjusthowfarhewentforSelene,butwhilewecan
undoeverything,noneofitclearsmebecausetheFedsaren’tgoingtogobackwards.Theyprinted
outthe“evidence”againstme,soI’mstillscrewed.

Oncehe’sdone,MattgrabsJakeandpullshimtothedoor.Reinagoeswithhimastheothergirls

starttofileout.It’sjustme,Ainsley,andScottleftintheapartmentwhenZackburstsin.

“Ains.Whatisitbabe?”
She jumps to her feet and runs into his arms. He picks her up and carries her back to the table,

sittinginherchair.She’sstillwrappedaroundhim,holdingontight.

“It’smyfault.”
“What’syourfault?”
“Jakedidallthisbecausehewasangrythatwe’retogether.”
“Becausehe’sinlovewithyou?”
“Youknew?”sheasks,punchinghiminthearm.
“Isuspected.Imean,theyguypracticallyfellatyourfeeteverytimeyouenteredthesameroomas

him.”

“Ithoughthewasjustimpressedbymybrain.”
“Whichisprettydamnsexy.”
“Pleasedon’tstartmakingoutinfrontofus,”Scottsays.
“Says the guy who got caught getting it on with his wife in the conference room last month,” I

remindhim.

“Wehaveatoddler.Youhavetomakeuseofwhatevertimeyouhave.AndhowmanytimesdoI

havetotellyou,wedidn’tknowtherewasameetingscheduled.”

“Youhaveaccesstoeverycomputerprogramweuse,don’tyou?”
“Yeah.ButIhavemyownjob,andlife.Idon’thavetimetocheckonallthatshit.”
“Nowyouwill.”
“Well,yeah.Ican’thaveanyoftheguyswalkinginonus.Yasisallminetolookat.”
“Shedidhaveababy.Peoplesawher.”
“That’sdifferent.They’reprofessionals.”
“Keeptellingyourselfthat.”
“Ineverthoughtyouweremean,Faith.I’mnotsureIlikethissideofyou.”
“I’mjustmessingwithyou.”
Weboth seem torealize at thesame time that Ainsleyand Zack haven’tbeen participating in our

conversation.WelookovertoseeZackwhisperinginherearasshesilentlycries.

“Whyareyoucrying?”Iask,droppingtomykneesnexttotheirchairsoIcanholdherhand.
“Yougotarrestedandmightstillgotojail.Becauseofme.”
“Youdidn’tmakeJakedothis.Hecansayheturnedonusbecauseyoudidn’treturnhisfeelings,

butthat’sbullshit.Hewouldn’thaveturnedunlesshewantedto.Youhavetoknowthat.Imean,you’re
definitelyamazing,butthisisallonhim.AndSelene.”

“Youreallydon’tblameme?”
“Ofcoursenot.”
“Itoldyou,babe.”
“He’ssmarterthanyouforonce.Embracethat,Ainsley.”
“Youreallyareonarolltonight,Faith,”Zacksayswithasmile.
“Beinginjaildoesthattoyou.ButIknowI’vebeenbitchy.It’sjustmetryingtoletgoofsomeof

thisfrustrationIfeelaboutmylifeatthemoment.”

“It’scool.Igetit.Sodoeseveryoneelse.They’regoingtokeepyououtofjail.”
“Oryou’llhelpbreakmeout,right?”
It’snotoftenthatZackblushes,sothefactthathischeekshaveturnedrosypinkmakesmechucklea

little.“Theytoldyouaboutthat?”

“Yes.AndIreally,reallyappreciateit.Iappreciateeveryone.”
“Weloveyou.We’renotgivingyouupwithoutafight,”Ainsleytellsme.
“Wellthen,theleastIcandoismakesomethingtoeatforallofyou.”
“Yes,please.”
“Anyrequests,Zack?”
“Nope.AnythingyoumakeisgoingtobebetterthanwhatIcouldthinkof.”
“Ditto.LetmecallYasandtellherI’llbehomelatetonight.”
“Youcango.”
“I’m staying, Faith. There’s something we’re missing. I know we’ve looked over everything, but

wehavetogooveritagain.BecauseIknowsomething’stherethatwillclearyou.”

“I’llhelpyouwithdinnersinceI’mofnousetothesetwo,”Zacktellsme.
“You’realwayshelpful.”
“It’sokay,Ains.Iknowmylimitations.AndIlovethatyou’resmarterthanme.I’mgoingtogetout

ofyourhairsothegeniusingcancommence.”

“Youknowthat’snotarealword,right?”
“I’mcreatingmyownlanguage.”
“ComeonMr.Linguist,let’smakedinner,”Itellhim.
“Sure.”

Ileadhimintothekitchenandputhimtowork.He’sactuallyprettygoodinthekitchen.Imakea

simplepastadishwithveggiesandgarlicbread.AinsleyandScotttakeabreaktoeatwithus.After,
ZackandIcleanupandthenhangoutinthelivingroom.Ilethimputonasportsshow,anditdoesn’t
takelongbeforethestressofeverythingwearshardonmeandIfallasleeponthecouch.

***

Gavin

I can’t stand being away from Faith, and tonight I came close to breaking. After begging—like

literally on my knees begging—Aiden agreed to sneak me out for the whole night. Since the only
camerasonthegroundsareours,nooneshouldknowI’mgone.There’sstillsomeoneonmymom’s
teamwho’sworkingwithSelene,butthefocushastobeonclearingFaith’snameandkeepingherout
ofjail.Afterthat,I’llhelpthemdowhateverwehaveto.

Well, not anything. I’m still having a hard time thinking about Faith killing people. Even bad

people.I’vemadesuretohideitwhenI’maroundher.Thatisn’thardsincewheneverIseeher,Ijust
want to hold and kiss her. And other things. Lots of other things. It’s when I’m alone that I start
thinking about being with someone whose job goes against one of my major beliefs. We’ll work it
out,though.Iknowwewill.It’slikepeopleofdifferentreligionsgettingtogether.Well,maybenot
exactly.Butcloseenough.

I get out of the trunk once Aiden pulls into the garage. He activates the garage elevator for me

beforeheadingbacktomyhouse.Theguardsinthelobbyhelpmewiththeinteriorelevator,andI’m
onherfloorinlessthanaminute.I’mnotexpectingthesceneIseewhenIwalkinside.

Faithisasleeponthecouchwiththethrowoverher.ZackTaylorisattheotherendofthecouch

watchingthesportschannel.AinsleyandScottGriffinareatthediningroomtable,poringovertheir
tablets.

“Hey,Gavin,”Zackwhisperstome.
“Hi.”
IwalkoverandkneelonthefloorinfrontofFaith,justlookingatherasshesleeps.Iwanttoreach

outandcaresshercheek,butI’mafraidtowakeher.Ileanbackonmyheelsandsighbeforemoving
tothechairnearestZack.

“Hasshebeenasleeplong?”
“Aboutanhour.Ihelpedhermakedinner,andthenshejustcrashed.”
“Aidenfilledmeinoneverything.Itmust’vebeenaroughnight.”
“I’msureitwas.”
“Youweren’there?”
“No,man.I’mwithAinsley,butI’mnotpartofwhattheydo.I’dhelptheminaheartbeat,butI’m

notqualifiedtostandwiththem.”

“Isn’tthathardtodealwith?Knowingwhatshedoes,whattheyalldo?”
“WhenIfirstfoundout,Ilashedoutaboutbeingkeptinthedark.IthoughtIwasjustbeingused

andthatAinsleydidn’treallyloveme.IalmostlostherbecauseIwassostupid.Buttheysavepeople.
Lotsandlotsofpeople.Toknowthatsomeonewho’snotonlybrilliant,butalsoabad-asswhohelps
people, could actually love me, it’s just beyond anything I could ever dream of. She’s beyond my
dreams,andI’mhappierthanI’veeverbeeninmylife.”

“Theykillpeoplesometimes.”
“Yeah.Butthosepeopledeserveit.”
“Idon’tthinkthat’sforusorthemtodecide.”

“Whothen?”
“God.”
“Ohshit,Ididn’tknowyouwerereligious.”
“I’mnot.Imean,Idon’tbelongtoareligion.I’vestudiedallofthem,andIknowI’maChristian;

although,Iagreewithpiecesofeveryotherfaith.ThetakingofalifehasbeensomethingI’vealways
beenpassionateabout.NowIhavetochange,andIdon’tknowifIcan.”

“Nooneelsecanfigurethatoutforyou.AllIcantellyouisthatFaithisawesome;shedeservesthe

best.Ifyoucan’tacceptherandwhatshehastosometimesdo,youshouldenditnow.It’sonlyfairto
bothofyou.”

He gets up, and heads into the kitchen. I look over at Faith and realize that she’s not asleep even

thoughhereyesareclosed.

“Howlonghaveyoubeenawake?”
“Longenough,”shetellsmewithoutopeninghereyes.
“Iloveyou.”
“Isthatenough?”
“Honestly?Ihopeso.”
“Butyoudon’tknowforsure,doyou?”
“Iwanttobesure.”
Shesitsupandfacesme.“Sothisisit?”
“What?NoFaith.No.It’sselfishandwrong,butIwon’tletyougo.I’llgetpastthissomehow,or

we’llfigureitout.ButIcan’tbewithoutyou.”

Sheleansforwardsandtouchesherlipstomineforamoment.“Thisiseithergoingtobethebest

thingweeverhad,orit’llenduptheworst.”

“Nomatterwhathappens,it’llalwaysbethebest.I’llneverthinkofusasanythingbutthat.”
Iwrapmyarmsaroundherandholdhertightassheclimbsontomylapandlaysherheadonmy

shoulder.She’srubbingmybackasIplacelittlekissesonhercheek.Icouldstaylikethisforever,but
that’snothowreallifeworks.

“I’vegotit,”Ainsleysays.
“Where?”Scottasks.
“Thelaptop.Ifoundtheembeddedprogram.”
“Youdon’thavethelaptophere.”I’mconfused,butIseemtobetheonlyone.
“She’sagenius.Theybothare.SoisIsabelle,andIwouldguessTeganisone,too.Probablyallthe

women are. After a while, you just go with the fact that you’ll never be the smartest person in the
room,”Zacktellsme.

“Faith?”
“Definitelynotagenius,butIcanholdmyown,”shetellsmewithalaugh.
While we were talking, Scott moved over to sit next to Ainsley. They’re whispering and he’s

pointingatthescreenwhileshetypes.Finally,theyhighfiveandlookatus.

“We just triggered the laptop to wake up and start making noise so the Feds have to notice it.

Informationwillstartscrolling,showingthatthereisaprogramintegratedintoitthatmadeitseemas
ifFaithwasguilty.”

“Won’ttheyknowsomeonedidit?”
“No,wejustmadeitlookliketheprogramgotcorruptedandturnedonitself.”
“Andjustincase,weburiedourtrackssodeepitwouldtakesomeonemonthstofindus,”Ainsley

adds.

“You’rethatgood?”
“Yes,weare.”

Scott doesn’t say it like he’s trying to pump them up. He’s just being honest. I know now that if

Selenehadn’thadsomeoneontheinside,shewould’venevergottenintotheirsystem.Ormymom’s.
Ifeelevenworseaboutmypartineverything.

“I’mgoingtobecleared,then.I’llbefreetoleave?”
“Ofcourse.Didyoureallydoubtus?”
“You,no.ButIknowthatthejusticesystemisn’twhatitshouldbesometimes.”
Ainsleygivesherasadsmilebeforegettinguptohughertight.Faithhugsherback.Ilooktothe

guys, but Scott won’t meet my eyes, and Zack looks as clueless as I feel. They break apart and
everyone tells us goodnight after the girls call Reina and Jane. They expect the charges will be
droppedinthemorning.

Iwaituntiltheyleavetoaddresstheelephantintheroom.“Ifeellikethere’ssomethingIneedto

know.”

“Thereisn’t.”
“Faith.”
“Gavin,wearen’tevenreallyofficiallytogether.I’mnotreadytospillanymoresecrets.”
“Okay.”
It’snotokay.Iwanttoknowwhat’shurtingher,butIcan’treallyblameherfornottrustingme.I

betrayedheroncealready.IcanwaitforhertobereadytotellmebecauseIknowthatI’mgoingto
provemyselftoher.Nomatterwhat.

CHAPTER10

Gavin

I wake up wrapped around Faith. After our non-conversation, we went to bed. Not to sleep, of

course. We explored each other ’s bodies, and I made slow, sweet love to her before we both fell
asleep.Iwantittobelikethiseverynight.Iknowitcan’tbeyet,butwe’regettingcloser.Nowthat
Faith’sbeencleared,theycanfocusonSelene.Wecanfocusonher.I’lldowhatevertheyneedmeto.
And then I’m making sure Faith, and everyone else, knows I’m serious about her. That I love her.
Officially.

“You’rethinkingprettyhardoverthere.”
“Hey.Goodmorning,beautiful.DidIwakeyou?”
“No.Thinkingdoesn’tcauseadisturbanceintheForce.”
“Youdidnotjustsaythat.”
“God,I’vebeenstuckinthisapartmentfortoolong,haven’tI?”
“Afterthatcomment,Iwouldhavetosayyes.”
“HanSoloisonesexyguy.”
“He’sdefinitelyabad-ass,butIwouldn’tsaysexy.”
“Notsecureenoughinyourmanhoodforthat,huh?”
“Idon’tthinkthere’sarightanswertothatquestion.”
“Probablynot,butyoucouldgetaprizefortrying.”
“Ohyeah,andwhatwouldthatbe?”
“Areyougoingtotryandanswer?”
“NotifIdon’tknowwhattheprizeis.”
“Your loss,” she tells me as she untangles herself and climbs off the bed. She shakes her hair

aroundalittle,thenlooksatmewhileshelicksherlips.“I’mtakingashower.Alone.”

Ohhellno.“I’msecureinmymanhood.Totallysecure.HanSolo’ssexy.I’llsingyouaBroadway

song,too.”

“It’sjustashower,Gav.”
“Bullshit.You’regoingtodothingsinthere.Badthings.”
“Verybadthings.Thatyoudidn’twant.”
“Iwant.Ido.Scout’shonor.”
“Whatdoyouwant?Myhands?”sheasksasshecupshertitsinherhandsandsqueezes.
“Yes.Uh-huh.Iwantthose.”IknowI’mnoddinglikeacrazyperson,butIdon’tgiveafuck.
“Mymouth?”sheasks,lickingherlipsagainandthenbitingdownonherbottomone.
Thatsendsanotherjoltstraighttomycock.“Please.”
“Well,sinceyouaskedsonicely…no.”
Huh?“What?”
“No.I’msureyoudon’thearitoften,butI’msayingittoyounow.”
“Okay...”Imean,whatelsecanIsay?I’mdefinitelynotgoingtoforcehertobewithme.
“I’mkidding.Youshould’veseenyouface.Itwaslikeyoulostyourpuppy.”

“Iwasmoreconcernedwithlosingmykitty,”ItellherasIwalkoverandkissherhard.
Wehaveaveryfuntimeintheshower,andthenthekitchen.Goingdownonawomenwhileshe’s

cooking is hotter than it sounds. Especially when you know whatever she’s making is going to be
goodenoughtopracticallysendyouintoanorgasm.

Ididn’twaitforthefood,though.Oncesheplatedeverything,Itookheragainsttherefrigerator.I

knewIwasreadyandwouldn’ttakelong.SinceI’dalreadymadehercome,Ialsoknewshewouldn’t
worryaboutmetakingmyownpleasure.Itwasawin-winsituation,andIdefinitelywon.

We’resittingcross-leggedontheislandwithourplatesinbetweenus.Weeatandkiss.Kissandeat.

Untilmyphonerings.Ilookdownandcurse.Ihavetoanswerit,though.

“Whatdoyouwant,Elizabeth?”
“ImadeplansforustomeetwithRyan,Chloe,Owen,andCandiGriffintoday.”
“Why?”
“Weneedahouse.”
“Thefuckwedo.”
“Weneedtokeepupappearances.”
“We’renotengaged.Weneverwillbe.Sowhydowehavetopretendtobuildahouse?Idon’tlike

wastingpeople’stime.”

“Youcouldchangeyourmind.”
“NotevenwhenHellfreezesover.Callthembackandcancel.”
Faithcatchesmyeyeandmotionsformetogotothemeeting.Isigh.“Onsecondthought,Icould

needahouseoneday.Notwithyou,ofcourse.ButIshouldprobablythinkaboutwhatIwant.”

“Great.I’llpickyouupatyourplace.”
“No.I’llmeetyouthere.”
“But—“
“Doyouwantmetogo,ornot?”
“Fine.I’llseeyouthere.Don’tbelate.”
“You’renotmyboss,sostoptryingtotellmewhattodo.”
“I’mnotanenemyyouwant,Gavin.”
“Idon’twantyouatall.Friend,enemy,whatever.Noneofitinterestsmewhenyou’reconcerned.”
Shehangsuponmeinsteadofanswering.IchuckleasIdropmyphonedown.Faithislaughing,

too.

“You shouldn’t have held back on my account. I mean, why didn’t you tell her how you really

feel?”

“Don’tquityourdayjobbecausethecomedyroutineisn’tworking.”
I get a one finger salute instead of words. That’s my girl. I wish I could shout that from the

rooftops,butIcan’t.Noyet.Wehaven’teventoldmymombecausewedon’twanthertoslipup.

Igiveherakiss,whichcouldsoeasilygofurtherifIdidn’thavetogotothisstupidmeeting.Good

thingAidenhadmebringanextrasetofclothesjustincasesomeonesawmeinthemorning.Faith
calls him while I shave and put my clothes on. I meet him in the garage and go see some people I
reallydon’twantto.

***

Faith

Igetthecallat10:03a.m.tellingmeI’vebeencleared.Detailsaren’tgiven,whichisjustfineby

me.Idon’thavetolookshockediftheydon’tdiscussitwithme.Igetanapology,butIwaveitoff

tellingthemIknowtheywerejustdoingtheirjobs.

The Feds tell me the ankle monitor is de-activated and that I can take it off. I do and promise to

returnittothemintheafternoon.ThegirlscomeoverafewminutesafterI’moffthephone.They
bringballoons,andtreatsfromDragoSistersBakery.Ireallydohavethebestfriends.

“NowwegoaftertheMistressofEvil,rightReina?”Stellaasks.
“Yes,Seleneisgoingdown!Allthewaydownthistime.”
“Don’t,Reina,”Itellher.
“IfIhadkilledher,noneofthiswouldbehappening.IhatethatI’msoweaksometimes.”
“You’renotweak,you’recompassionate.That’sthebestqualityapersoncanhave,andweallneed

youtohaveit.Me,especially.YouknowthedarknessIhaveinme.”

“Forareason,Faith.Whathappened,andtheaftermath…”
“Mademeneedtotakejusticeintomyownhands.Icouldn’tthen,butnowIcan.AndIneedyouto

reinmein.OtherwiseI’dhavenochanceatallwithGavin.”

“Zacksaidtheytalkedaboutitlastnightwhileyouwereasleep.”
“I wasn’t asleep, Ainsley. I already knew how he felt about killing people. So do you and Tegan

sinceyouhelpedmeinvestigatehim.Hesayshecangetpastitortryandignoreit,butIdon’tknow.”

“Youhaven’ttoldhimyet,haveyou?”
“I can’t, Teeg. Not yet. It’s too soon. He’s already betrayed me once. I’m trying to keep an open

mindandtrusthim,butI’mnotreadytogivehimmybiggestsecretyet.”

Reinacomesaroundthetabletostandinfrontofme.Ilookupather.“Givehimachance,Faith.

I’maprettygoodjudgeofcharacter,andhemeantitwhenhesaidhe’dsacrificehimselftosaveyou.
Whenyou’reready,he’sgoingtounderstandandmayevenwantbloodhimself.Justlikeallofusdo.
Wejustrespectyoutoomuchtotakethemdownwithoutyourpermission.”

“Thanks,Reina.”
“Let’s talk about something more fun. Like Reina’s boyfriend. This one’s been allowed to stick

aroundforafewweeks,sofar.”

“Nothingtotalkabout,Stella.”
“Thoughtso.He’sjustasubstituteforMatt,likeallthewomenhesleepswithareasubstitutefor

you.”

“IwanttofallforRickandmoveon.”
“Butyoucan’t.Sojusthavefunwithhim.I’msurehewouldn’tturndownsexonlywithyou.”
“Maybe.We’llsee.He’sagreatguy.”
Wealllistentotheirexchange,andIknowwewanttotellherhowgreataguyMattisandthathe’ll

cometohissenseseventually.Butthatwouldhurthermore,andweneedtosupportherintryingto
move on. So we stay quiet, and I change the subject. We spend the next couple of hours joking and
laughingbeforetheyallheadintotheoffice,whileIpreparetogobackoutintotheworld.

SusancallsasI’mgettingdressed.ShesayssheheardthatI’vebeenofficiallycleared,andwants

metocomebacktowork.Webothknowthere’sstillsomeonefromherstaffworkingwithSelene.I
tellherI’llbeoverinanhour.

Before going there, I go to Downtown Summerlin. I just want to walk around, and this outdoor

mallistheperfectplace.Iwindowshopandgrabagelato.Itfeelssonicetobenormal.UntilIgoto
pick up my car from valet, and they tell me it’s been damaged. By the looks of it, someone drove
rightintoit.

Iwalkwiththemanagertothevaletparkingareaandseeituponthecurb,withthebackendall

smashedup.Hetellsmethatthecarcameoutofnowhereandranstraightintomine.Ithappenedso
fast that no one could get a license plate or description. I nod and pretend to call my insurance
company—it’sreallyReinaIcall.Thisisactuallyagoodthing.AttackingmycarshowsthatSeleneis

escalating and getting out of control. Which is exactly what we need in order to have her show
herself.

IcallSusantotellherI’llbelate,andsheinsistsoncomingtopickmeup.ItellherI’mfine,but

shesayssomeoneiscomingtogetme.I’msurprisedtoseewhoitiswhentheypullup.

“Aiden,whyaren’tyouatthehouse?”
“Susaninsistedthatyouneededsomeonetoprotectyou,andshefeltI’dbethebestoneforthejob.”
Irollmyeyes.“Icantakecareofmyselfjustfine.”
“Iknowthat,andyouknowthat,butsheseemstohavereallytakenalikingtoyou.”
“She’sprettygreat.”
Weexchangesmalltalkwhilewewaitforthepolice.Wecan’treallysayanythingouthereinthe

open.Whenwefinallyfinish,AidendrivesustoSusan’shouse.I’mexcitedtoseeGavin,butthenI
rememberhe’swithElizabethtalkingabouttheirfakehouse.He’sprobablyhavingevenlessfunthan
Iam.

***

Gavin

This turned out to be some of the most fun I’ve had in a long time. Chloe and Candi are being

downrighthostiletoElizabeth.RyanandOwenlookconfused,butjustgowithit.I’mguessingthey
don’twanttosleepintheirguestroomstonight.Elizabethisgettingpissedandisabouttoblow.

“Idon’tunderstandwhyyou’rebothbeingsuchbitches.”
“Didshejustcallusbitches,Chlo?”
“Ithinkshedid.”
“Bigmistake.Big.Huge!”
Theybothburstintolaughter,andtheirhusbandslookamused.Elizabethisbrightred,andIthink

steammightstartcomingoutofhereyes.“Iknowthatquotefromsomewhere.”

“It’sPrettyWoman,Gavin.Oneofourfavoritemovies.”
“Theylovewatching90smovies.Allofourwivesdo,”Ryansays.
Elizabethsmilesthen.“SodoI.I’dlovetowatchsomemovieswithyou.”
“Are you really this dumb? We’ve been more than clear in our dislike of you, you just called us

bitches,andnowyouthinkwe’llinviteyouoverformovienight?You’rebeyonddelusional.”

God, I love Chloe. And Candi. I know they’re being like this because Faith is their friend, and it

makesmyheartswell.Plus,they’rebothsofunny.

“Thisisjustunacceptableforabusinessmeeting.”
“You can walk out anytime. Please do, in fact, and let the door hit you in the ass. You obviously

needtobeknockeddown.Imean,howdoyoucomeinhereandactallhaughtywhenwe’realljustas
richasyou?Wedon’tneedyouoryourbusiness.”

“Youearnedyourmoneyonyourback,didn’tyouCandi?Isawthenewspapers.”
“Get.The.Fuck.Out.”
“Hitanerve,Owen?”
“Someone’sgoingtogethitifyousayanotherwordaboutmywife.”
“Youreallyareanabusivehot-head,huh?Ididn’tthinktherumorsweretrue.”
“Theyaren’t.Owenwouldn’ttouchawomaninanger.I,however,willhaveyoucrawlingfromthe

officeifyouinsultmyfriendagain.Anyofmyfriends.”

Chloe’slookingasbadassasFaithandherfriendsasshestandsfromherchair,glaringElizabeth

down.Elizabethfinallygivesinandgrabsherpursewithatorturedsigh.“Let’sgo,Gavin.”

“I’mnotreadytoleave.Yougoonaheadandtrytofindsomecommonsense.”
“Ireallyhateyousometimes.”
“Hatingyouwouldwastetoomuchenergy.Ialwaysdislikeyougreatly,though.”
“We’llbetalkingaboutthislater.”
“Nowewon’t.I’mbusyallday.”
Shestompsoverandleansdowntowhisperinmyear.“We’llmakeyoupayforthis.”
“Goaheadandtry.”
Shegoestoslapme,butIdodgeherandstandup.Shestartstolungeformeagain,butCandigrabs

her.“You’rereallygoingtowanttoleaverightnow.”

“You’reright,Ido.I’llseeyoulater,Gavin.”
“NotifIcanhelpit,”Imumbleundermybreath.
She leaves and the tension in the air goes with her. Owen breaks the silence that follows her out.

“Dude,whatthefuckareyoudoingwithher?IsawyouleavetheCorriganballwiththehotchef.”

“Faith?Yeah,Iwaswithher.”Idon’tthinktheguysknowabouteverything,soIdon’tknowwhatto

say.”

“Andyouleftherfor....well,Ihavenowordsforwhatthebeingthatjustleftis.AndFaith,man,she

hasthatlonghair.Ibetthatwasfun.”

“I’mrighthereintheroom,Owen.”
“Iknowwhereyouare,babe.Butyou’veseenthathair.”Shesmackshimupsidethehead.
“You’reonlyallowedtoobjectifyme,andonlythenbecauseIknowyourespectmeandonlyact

thatwaybecausewe’reverysexual.Itisnotokayforyoutotalklikethataboutotherwomen.”

“Wealldoit.Right?”HelookstomeandRyan,butIlookawayandRyanholdsuphishands.
“Donotinvolvemeinyourjack-assery,littlebrother.Mom’sgotErintonightandIwanttobewith

mysexywifeinourbed.”

“Whatdoesthatmean,Ry?Ifyouweren’tlookingtogetlucky,you’dadmitthatyoutalklikethat?”

Chloeaskshim.

“No?”
“Ourhusbandsareidiots,Candi.”
“Butwelovethemandtheygiveussomeawesomeorgasms,sowe’llputupwithit.”
“True.”
“Who’sobjectifyingwhonow?”Ryanasks,causingbothwomentoglareathim.
“Ithinkyouguysshouldjuststayquiet,”Itellthemwithalaugh.
“You’reprobablyright.Sorryladies,”Ryantellsthem.
“Yeah,sorry.Youknowweloveyou.”
“Yes,Owen,andthat’swhyI’mnotmakingmyhusbandsleepaloneonourdatenight.”
“ThankGod.Andyou,Chlo.Thankyou.”
I hang out with them for a little longer, telling Ryan it’s no problem that Elizabeth ran out. I

apologize for wasting their time, and let them know I’ll call them first when I’m ready to build
something—withoutthepsychobitch.

CHAPTER11

Faith

I’ve been back to work with Susan for a little over a week now. Thanksgiving is in a couple of

weeks,andshegathersthestaffintotheGreatRoomforatalk.Joycehasalreadytoldmethatwe’re
havingabigdinner.ShelatchedontomeagainassoonasIwalkedthroughthedooraftermyname
wascleared.It’smadememorethanalittlesuspiciousofher.Aidenthinksshe’salittleodd,too.Iput
thethoughtsasideasSusanstartstospeak.

“Asyouallknow,Ihavequiteabittobethankfulforthisyear.Becauseofthat,Iwanttohostan

earlyThanksgivingDinnerthisweekend.It’sforallofyou,aswellassomespecialguests.Iinvited
somepeopleIadmire,andalsosomesurprisingnewbenefactors.Ithinkitwillbeawonderfulwayto
celebratebeforeyougoofftobewithyourfamiliesfortheofficialholiday.”

“You’rethinkingtraditionaldishes,Mom?”
“Yesandno.I’dliketurkeyandallthefixings,butIwasalsohopingthatyouandFaithwouldagree

tocollaborateonsomenewdishes.Iknowthetwoofyoudon’tlikeeachother,butitwouldmeana
lottomeifyou’ddothis.”

“We’lldoit.GavinandIcancooktogetherwithoutdrawingblood.”
“Yeah,Mom.It’scool.”
Actually, it’s going to be hot. Very, very hot. And we can’t react like we do at my place. When

we’vebeencookingtogetherthere,oneofusendsupwithsomekindofsauceorsoupspreadallover
our body. While the other person licks it off. I catch Gavin’s eye and know he’s thinking the same
thing. None of that can happen here, but we wish it could. Cooking is like foreplay to us, and it’s
goingtobehardtotampthatdown.Butwewillbecausewehaveto.Somehow.

Everyone breaks up, and I follow him into the kitchen to start planning. I’m in a sweater with a

zippergoinguponeside,andplaidskinnypants.Aswetalkaboutthefood,Gavinstartstoreachfor
thezipperwhenElizabethwalksin.

“Whatareyoudoinginhere,Faith?Ithoughtyouworkedintheofficenow.”
“SusanaskedmetohelpGavinwiththedinnermenuforthisweekend.”
“Mymancanhandleitallalone,can’tyou?”sheaskshim,windingherarmsaroundhisneck.
“No,actually,Ican’t,”hesaysasheuntangleshimselfandturnshisbackonher.
Iseehereyesflashbeforeshegrabshimandkisseshim.Hehastoplayalong,butIdon’thaveto

look.Iturnmyheaduntilhepullsaway.Iseehersmirkinmydirectionoutofthecornerofmyeye.

“Seeyoulater.Ican’twaittohaveyourmouthalloverme,Gavin.”
Hedoesn’trespond,butIseehishandsclenchedintofistsathisside.Shesauntersout,andheturns

to the sink. He grabs some mouthwash from under the sink and rinses at least five times before
lookingatme.

“I’msosorry.”
“Youhadtoplayalong.Whyonearthdoyouhavemouthwashinhere?”
“Shelikestodothat.SurprisemeinfrontofpeoplesoIcan’tpushheraway.Idon’twantanytrace

ofherinmymouth.”

“Youdidn’topenyourmouth.Imean,Iturnedaway,but—“
“Ididn’t.Ineverdo,butIdon’ttakeanychancethathersalivasomehowgotinthere.”
“Ithinkyou’dbefine,Gav.”
“No.Iseeyoueverynight,andIwon’tchancethatwhenIkissyou.”
“Iwishyoucouldkissmenow.”
“Metoo.ButlaterI’llkissyousomuchyou’llgetboredwithme.”
“Idon’tthinkthatwillhappen.”
“Good.”
We plan out the menu while standing on opposite sides of the island. Because, seriously, even

talkingaboutfoodwitheachothergetsushorny.Finally,whenIthinkit’stoomuchforbothofus,he
grabsmyhandandpullsmeintothepantry.Heclosesthedoorandpushesmeupagainstit.

“Gavin,wecan’t.”
“Wehaveto.”
“Whatwillhappenwhenwewalkoutofheretogether?”
“We’llstarttalkingaboutingredientsaswewalkout,justincasesomeone’sthere.Orwewon’t.All

IknowisthatIneedtobeinsideofyou.”

“Ineedthat,too.”
Hereachesformypantsandundoesthebuttonandzipper.Histhumbshookintomythong,andhe

pullsbothitemsofclothingdownmylegs.Istepoutofthemandmyshoeswhilehetakeshispants
andclogsoff.IlickmylipsasIseehowhardheis.

“Notimeforthat.Tonight,we’lluseourmouths.I’llsavesomeofthestrawberryvinaigrettefrom

lunch.”

“Mm.”
Heliftsmeup,andslidesintome.Ourmouthsarefusedtogetherandwe’rebothoutofcontrol.It

only takes a few minutes and then I’m screaming into his mouth while he yells into mine. We hold
eachotherforafewmoreminutes,catchingourbreath.

“Tonight.God,Ican’twaittoplaywithyoutonight,”hetellsmewhenheletsmedownandcleans

usbothupwithsomepapertowels.

“IfIletyou,”Itease.
“Youwill.”
“Probably.”
HeleansoverandbitesmyhipasI’mpullingupmypants.Iarchmybackandpullhismouthback

tomine.Hepullsthezipperofmysweaterupandpalmsmethroughmybra.Ibreakaway,panting
andhungryforhim.Iknowwecan’tagain.Wealreadytookabigriskjustnow.

“Hasyouranswerchanged,baby?”
“Yes.Myanswer ’syes.”
“Itoldyou,”hesayswithasmirkashewalksout.
Istayinsideforafewmoreminutes,tryingtocomposemyself.Damnifthatmandoesn’ttakeme

fromzerotosixtyinlessthanasecond.Andnowhe’sleftmewanting.Again.I’mgoingtopunish
himforthatlater.Rightnow,Ineedtogosplashsomecoldwateronmyselfandhopethehoursfly
by.

***

Gavin

I’mwhistlingasIwalkintoFaith’sapartment.Ibroughtthevinaigrette,alongwithsometreatsI’m

planningtofeedtoherwhileIdodirtythingstothathotbodyofhers.Myplansfallbythewayside
whenIseeher.

“Fuck.Fuck.Fuck.”That’stheonlywordIcanthinkofasIdropmybagatthedoortostareather.
“Youlike?”sheasksasshetwirlsaround.
“Ilove.”
“Ithoughtso.”
She’sgotoneofthesexiestpiecesoflingerieI’veeverseen,coveringverylittleofher.Thetopis

a lace halter that hides absolutely nothing. There’s a strap connecting to the little scrap of satin
covering my ultimate prize. When she turned, I could see a bare back with a couple more straps
leading into some more lace and satin covering the top of her perfect ass. I’m ready to drop to the
floorandworshipatheraltar.

“Youknowthat’sgoingtobeinpiecesverysoon.”
“AfterIdance.”
“Dance?”Iask,myvoicecomingouthoarseandneedy.
“I’vealwayswantedtostriptoacertainsong,andtonight’sthenight.”
I’llneversurvivethis.Never.Theymightaswellsendthebodybagnow.That’smylastcoherent

thoughtasIsitonhercouchwithheroverme.SheputsonNellyFurtado’s“SayItRight”andIcan
onlyremembergyratinghipsandherbodybeingslowlyexposedtomebeforeIcomerighttherein
mypantsyellingoutwordsthatI’veneverevenheardof.

“I…that…wow…Imean…”
“Wordswillcomebacktoyousoon,Gavin.JustgiveyourselfaminuteandgocleanupwhileIput

someclotheson.”

Clotheson?Issheinsane?“Noclothes.Ihaveplans.”
“Ichangedthem.”
“Aminordistraction,”ItellherasIstandupandwalkovertomybag.
“Excuseme?”
“Thatdidn’tcomeoutright.IjustmeantthatI’mnotgivinguponmyplans.Idoneedtocleanup,

though.WhenIcomebackouthere,I’dlikeyoutobelyingonthecoffeetable,wearingthis.”

IhandherthesatinlacemaskIboughtatthelingeriestore.Shelooksatit,andthenupatme.I’m

surprisedtoseeherlookingvulnerable.Sheseemstogatherherself,andnods.

“Okay,”shesays,hervoicealittleshaky.
“Faith? What is it? I’m not going to hurt you or do anything you wouldn’t like. I promise. I just

wanttofeedyousomethingswhileImakeusbothfeelgood.”

“I’dlikethat.”
Shesmiles,anditseemswhateverwearythoughtsshehadpassed.She’sokaywiththis,shetrusts

me. That makes me happier than anything else we’ve said or done with each other. Her trust is the
most precious gift she can give me. I’ve known for a while now that I have her heart, but
understandably,hertrustwasmoreelusive.Ikissherontheforeheadandgointothebathroom.

WhenIwalkbackoutafewminuteslater,she’sonthewoodencoffeetablewiththemaskoverher

eyes, just like I asked. I grab the bag and kneel next to her, placing a kiss on her stomach. “Such a
goodgirl.You’regoingtoberewardedforthat.”

“Icertainlyhopeso.”
I chuckle as I take out the first container. This one she’s expecting. I dip my fingers into the

vinaigretteandusethemtodrizzleitoverherbreasts.Hernippleshardentopointsoncontact,andshe
smiles.Iputthecontainerdownandrubonefingeroverherlipsuntilhertongueslipsout.Whileshe
licksmyfingers,Ilickandsuckbothofhernipplesclean.

“Didyoulikethevinaigrette,Faith?”
“Yes,” she says as she arches her back. I blow on her wet nipples, before reaching for the next

container.

Idipsomethickpretzelsintothesaltedcaramelsauceandthenusethemtopaintherribs.“Iknow

you’reticklish,buttrytoholdstill.”

Shedoes,andIrewardherbycoatingmorepretzelsandputtingthemathermouth.WhenIstraddle

her,sheopenshermouthonamoan,soIgiveheronetosuckon.Islidedownandstartnibblingon
thecaramelasIputtwofingersinsideofher.She’sbuckingupasmuchasshecanwithmyweight
holdingherdown.Shecomeshardwhilebitingdownonthelastpretzel.Ifinishlickingthecaramel
offandthenlickmyfingers.

“Youtastegoodwithcaramel.”
“Gavin,please.”
“I’vegotyou.Iknowyourpussywantsme,butnotjustyet.Ineedyoutoleanuponyourarmsand

openyourmouthformenow.”

Shedoes,andIliftthewinebottleaboveherhead,pouringasmalltrickleintohermouth.Some

falls out, just like I expected and I lick it up off her cheeks and neck. Then I place a small lemon
cream puff in her mouth. She nips at my fingers and I reward her with a bite on her lush breast. I
alternatethewineandpastrieswhilelickingandbitingheralloveruntilshe’swrithingonthetable.

IcontinuetoalternatesweetandsavorytastesasIcoatmyfingersinhummusandpositionmyself

aboveherpussy.IstretchmyhanduptohermouthandasItakemyfirstlick,sodoesshe.Ifeedher
more and more as I feast on her. By the time the hummus is gone, she’s screaming my name, and
cursingmeatthesametime.

“Thoseweresomeprettyharshwords,Faith.Iwouldalmostthinkyouaren’tenjoyingthis.ButI

knowyouare.”

“MaybeI’mnot.”
“Yousoakedmymouth,sodon’teventrytodenyit.”
“WhatifItoldyouthatIcan’ttakeanymore?”
“I’dofferyoutwooptions.Optiononewouldbemepackingupmylastcontainerandthenwe’d

justhangoutandwatchmovies.”

“Andoptiontwo?”
“Thatwouldbefeedingyoumylastitemwhilefuckingyouhardonthiscoffeetable.”
“Two.Iwantoptiontwo.”
“Goodanswer.Thisone’sgoingtobeallaboutbitingagain.Areyouready?”
“Yes!”
IpulloutagreenapplesliceanddipitintothebutterscotchandcreammixtureImadeearlier.Iset

itonthecoverandpreparetwomore.Iplacetwoslicesbetweenherbreasts,andtaketheotherslicein
my hand as I position myself over her. I slide into her while I put the slice in her mouth. I find my
rhythm,butamfurthergonethanIrealized.Shetakesmattersintoherownhandandfeedsherselfthe
othertwosliceswhileIpoundintoher.

Icomewitharoar.There’snootherwaytodescribeit.Ijustroaredlikeafuckinganimalbefore

collapsingontoFaith.SheholdsmeandkissesmyshouldersuntilIcanmoveagain.

“I’msorry.”
“Forwhat?”
“Fuckingyoulikethat.Likesomeoutofcontrolanimal.Youdidn’tevencome.”
“Icametwice,andatesomeamazingfood.Iwouldliketotakeoffmymasknow,ifthat’sokay.”
“Oh,fuck.Yes,takeitoff.Dammit,Ishould’vehaditoffofyoualready.”
“It’sfine,Gav,”shetellsmeasshetakesitoffandlooksintomyeyes.

“Yousure?”
“Yes.Youdidexactlywhatyousaidyouwould.Youfedmesomeyummyfoodwhilemakingme

comesohardInearlypassedout.Twice.”Shegetsasheepishsmileonherface.“Doyouhaveany
moreofthosecreampuffsandapples,though?”

“Ofcourse.Iknewyou’dlikethem.”
“I’maluckywomantohaveasexychefforaboyfriend.”
“Rightbackatcha,darling.Well,Imean,girlfriendobviously.”
“Obviously.”
I leave her the desserts, but take the other containers into the kitchen, putting away the ones with

things left in them and washing out the others. When I walk back out into the living room, she’s
devouringeverything.

“Didyousaveanythingforme?”
“Um,sure.”
“I’mjustkidding.IatebeforeIgotheresoyoucouldhaveeverythingIbrought.”
“That’soneofthereasonsIloveyousomuch.”
“Iloveyou,too.”
“Wehaven’treallysaidthatbefore.Imeanwehave,butnotlikethis.Notserious.”
“No,wehaven’t.”
“Shouldithavebeenmoreintenseorsomething?”
“Ithinkitwasjustperfect.”
Wecuddleintoeachotherwhileshefinishesoffhertreats.Wekissandcaress,butkeepthingsfrom

going too far. We both want to make sure the night is special. You can’t share those three words
withoutthingschanging.

CHAPTER12

Faith

It’sthedayofthedinner,andI’minthekitchenputtingthefinishingtouchesonmypartofthemeal.

I have my chef’s coat over my dress and clogs on my feet, which I know looks funny. But I didn’t
want to have to completely change. It’s not a fancy dinner, but I wanted to look nice. I have on a
sleeveless,highneckeddressthathasblackleatherinthemiddleandatthewaist.Therestofthedress
iswhiteandrustcoloredwithafunkycross-overandasymmetricalhemlinethatgoespastmyknees.
OnceI’mdoneinhere,I’lltakemyhairdownandputonmyheels.

SusanhasinvitedJane,Cyndi,Helen,Maggie,andMallorytothedinner.MaggieandMalloryare

bringingtheirhusbands.TherestoftheGriffinswillbehere,too,becausethey’rebackingSusanand
hernewinitiatives.Notthekids—they’rewithababysittersotheadultscanhavesomefun.Zaneand
QuinnWilsonarecoming,andMilesCorriganwillbeherewithAlexGriffin,butMattsaidhehadno
interest in it. He’s hanging with most of the girls and Nate at Reina’s place, watching Zack’s game.
Ainsley’sontheroadwithhim,buteveryoneelseishomefrommissionsatthemoment.Aidenis,of
course,heresincehe’sstillposingastheheadofsecurity.

I’mnotexactlysurewhoelseisinvitedsinceJudywouldn’ttellme.Shesaidmostofthemwere

supposed to be a surprise to everyone else. I only know about the guests I do, because I work for
them. I guess I need to act surprised, though. I finish what I’m doing and then head into the Great
Room.WhatIseemakestheblooddrainfrommybody,andIalmostfallover.

“Areyoujustgoingtostandthere,Faith?Don’tyouwanttogreetyourfamily?”Judyissmilingas

sheasks,andnowIknowshe’sbehindeverything.Shehastobe.Ihadthatoddfeeling,butbringing
themhereconfirmsit.

“Theyaren’tmyfamily.It’sthespinelessbitchwhocarriedme,herhusbandthemurderer,andthe

devilherself—whogavethatbastardthefakealibithatkepthimoutofjailwhenhekilledmyfather.”

“Jesus,”Gavinsaysashecomestowardsme.Aidenstopshim,andit’sCyndiwhoputsherarms

aroundme.

“Nowjustwaitaminute,youungratefullittlewhore,”mygrandmothersaysasshewalkstome.
Cyndistepsinfrontofme.“Icanguaranteethatyoudon’twanttotakeanotherstep.Infact,Ithink

youshouldleave.”

“Wewereinvited,andI’mnotgoingtoletsomespoiledbratwholiedtothepoliceaboutme,force

metoleave.”Mortysays.

“Lied?Yousonofabitch.Iheardyou.Heardthenamesyoucalledmyfatherandhowyousaidmy

motherwasyoursbeforeyoukilledhim.”

“Youwereblindfolded,playinghideandseek.Yousawnoone,andyoucan’tproveotherwise.”
I turn to Aiden, and meet Gavin’s eyes first. I see that he realizes why I didn’t want to be

blindfolded,andunderstandswhatitmeantthatIlethimdoit.WhatI’mabouttodonowwillendwhat
wehave,butIhavetodoit.

“Ineedagun,Aiden.”

HereachesaroundhimandhandsmeaGlock,withoutquestion.Iknowit’snothisonlyweapon,

but it’s his favorite. I cock it and then turn to my stepfather, keeping my finger off the trigger. For
now.Hebacksupandsodoesmygrandmother,asCyndimovestostandbesideme.

“Dowhatyouneedto,Faith.Iloveyou.”
Iraisethegun,butGavin’svoicestopsme.“Don’tdothis,Faith.He’snotworthit.Especiallyifhe

killedyourfather.Thiswillmakeyoujustlikehim.”

“Ididn’tsneakintohishouseandkillhimwhilehewasplayingwithhissevenyearolddaughter.

He did. All because his wife had left him for my dad years before, and he was embarrassed that a
simpleAsianchefhadbestedhim.Youweren’tthere.Youdidn’thearthenameshecalledmydad.”

“Andyouwerehelplesstostopit,weren’tyouFaith.”
None of us saw Selene step into the room, but she’s here. With a half dozen women, including

Elizabeth.They’redressedforcombatandglaringatme.IstepinfrontofCyndiandfacemyother
enemy.

“I’mnothelplessnow,Selene.”
“Withagun.Butwebothknowyoucan’tholdyourowninhandtohandcombat.”
“Tryme,bitch.”
“Whatthehellisgoingonhere?”GaryGriffinasks.
“I’llexplainitlater,”Maggietellshim.
“Youknow?”
“Later.Ipromise.”
“Whatmakesyouthinkyou’rewalkingoutofhere,Maggie?Faithismyprimarytarget,butIowe

youandyourpreciousfriendssomerevenge,too,”Seleneinformsher.

“You’renotgoingtotouchthem,Selene.Youcameforme,sosendyourminionsawayandlet’s

fight.”

“Shecamehereforyou,butshebroughtthemheretohelpmetoo,”Susansays.
“Mom?”
“Gavin,I’msorryIhadtoinvolveyouinallofthis,butitwasnecessary.”
“Whatareyoutalkingabout?TheCorriganwomenhavebeenhelpingyou.”
“Tofindthemoleonmystaff?No,theyreallyhaven’t.SinceI’mthemole.”
“Youweresellingstatesecrets?Areyouinsane?”
“I did it to flesh them out. These five women think they’re above it all, above us all. Your father

supported them while he was alive, and was going to give a large amount of his money to the
Foundation.Butitwasn’tjusthis.Thatwasmymoney,too.ItoldhimI’dfightthewillifhedidthat.
Sohegavethemoneytoyou.”

“Heleftaletterforyou,Gavin.IhadtomakesureyoucouldbetrustedbeforeIgaveittoyou,”

Janetellshim.

“I-Idon’tbelievethis.Theyhelppeople,Mom.”
“Andkillthem.Don’tforgetthatyoujuststoppedFaithfromkillingherstepfather,”Susansaysto

him.

“Youareinsane.Hekilledherfather.Ofcourseshe’sgoingtobeangry.”
“Ifwe’resharing,youshouldknowthatyourmotherkilledyourfather,Gavin,”Selenesays.
“Shutup,Selene,”Susansays,lookinglikeacorneredanimal.
“Youshouldknowbynowthatyoudon’tcontrolme.”
“Icontrolthepursestrings,”Susantellsher.
“Oh,please.IhavemoremoneythanI’lleverspend.IjustneededyoutobelievethatIwasshorton

cash.Andbesides,Gavincontrolsyourmoney.”

Whatthefuckisgoingon?I’mtryingtosortitallinmyhead.MaybeIneedtosayitoutloudto

understanditall.“Letmegetthisstraight.Gavin’sdadsupportedtheFoundation,soSusankilledhim
to get control of his money—through Gavin. Then she partnered with you to try and take us down.
YouhadElizabethapproachGavintoworkforthem,tellinghimweweretryingtoblackmailSusan.
Allsoyoucouldgetbackatmeforoutingyouasthecrazybitchyouare.Thenyoubothframedme
forstealingstatesecrets,andinvitedeveryoneheretoseeyoutakemedown.”

“I resent the crazy bitch remark, but that’s pretty much it. I always knew you were smart, Faith.

Weakyes,butnotstupid,”Selenetauntsme.I’mnottakingthebait.

“I’msorrytodisappointyou,butI’mnotthegirlyoutriedtobreakthreeyearsago.”
“Nowyou’rejustbeingdelusional.”
“Thisisendingtonight,onewayortheother.Isuggestyouchoosejail,Selene,andturnyourself

andSusanin,”Janetellsher.

“Faithmayhaveimproved,butshecan’ttakesevenofuson,evenwithhelpfromherfriend.”
“Iwouldn’tbetagainstus.Ever,”Aidentellsher.
“Ibetyou’regoodinbed.IwasgoingtotakeGavin,butmaybeIwantyouinstead.”
“You’renottakingmeanywhere,”Gavinsayswithalookofdisgustonhisface.
“Really,Gavin?WhatifIpromisedtospareFaith?Wouldyougowithmewillinglythen?”
“If I thought you meant it…. yes. But you’re orchestrated this whole situation just to destroy her.

You’renotlettinghergo.”

“Tootrue.Ijusthavetofigureouthowtobesthandletheproblem.Oh,andyoustaffersoverthere

can stop trying to covertly dial 911. My tech expert has blocked all transmissions out of here, and
eventhegreatScottGriffincan’tundothatwithoutequipment.”

“Touché, bitch,” he tells her. What she doesn’t know may just kill her, but I’m more concerned

aboutgettingpeopleoutofherebeforewegotobattle.

“Musteveryonecallmethat?”
“ThereareotherwordsIcoulduse,butmymom’shere.”
“Youusedtobesuchfun,Scott.”
“Yousleptthiscrazychick,bro?”Ryanaskshim.
“Fuckno.Wejustusedtohangoutandplayvideogameswhenshehidhercrazybetter.”
“ItwassocutethatyouthoughtIlikedthegames.Iwantedyou,Scott.Butthenyoumether. Who

knewafull-figurewouldbreakyou,”Selenesays,lookingatYasmin.

Myknifewhizzespasthercheek,drawingbloodbeforeithitsthewall.“Saysomethingelseabout

myfriends.”

“Don’t,”shetellsthewomenwhowereadvancingonmeasshewipessomebloodfromherface

withasmile.“MaybethiswillbeevenmorefunthanIthought.”

“Cleartheroom,andlet’sgo.”
“They’renotleaving,butwedoneedthemoutoftheway.Movetothewallseveryone,unlessyou

wanttobecollateraldamage,”shecommands.

Islideoffmyshoesandpullmyhairintoaquickbraid.Everyonemovestothewalls,exceptfor

theminions.“Youcan’ttakemeoneonone,Selene?”

“OfcourseIcan,littlegirl.Movetothewalls,ladies.”
“Usingthatwordliberally,aren’tyou.”
“Mywomengetthesametrainingyouandyourfriendsdid.Theyareproper.”
“Goodluckwiththat.”
IknowIshouldn’tbepokingthebear.EspeciallysinceI’veneveroncedefeatedherinhandtohand

combat.ButlikeItoldher,I’mnotthesamepersonIwasthreeyearsago.That’spartlyduetoher,and
nowshecanseewhatshehelpedcreate.

Wecircleeachother,tryingtoseetherhythmineachotheranddetermineweaknesses.IknowthatI

won’tstrikefirst,butshe’sgoingtotryforthesamething.IfIdon’tgivein,she’llhaveto.It’sjusta
matterofwaitingherout.

***

Gavin

This is insane. The whole things is just plain fucking nuts. Faith is in a fight to the death with a

psychopath,andmymom…wellIcan’tevenwrapmyheadaroundwhatIfoundoutabouther.Jane
and Cyndi have her at gunpoint, away from everyone else. Aiden is beside me, but he’s analyzing
FaithandSelene,sohe’llbenohelp.Idon’twanttostandheredoingnothing,butforthemoment,I
haveto.There’snothingIcandotohelpFaithoranyoneelse.

As I’m thinking this, Selene throws the first punch. Faith dodges it and hits her in the stomach. It

seemstomakeSeleneevencrazier.ThekicksandpunchesareflyingfasterthanIcankeeptrackof.
Theygoatitforseveralminutesbeforebreakingapart.

Selenehasabloodylip,blackeye,andisholdingherribswhilelimping.Faith’sdressistorn,her

chinisswollen,andthere’sacutabovehereye.Otherthanthat,sheseemsfine.Iwanttofistpump.
Mygirlisabadass.Seleneunderestimatedher,andsheknowsit.

I see the wheels turning as she stares at Faith. She’s trying to figure out how to win, when she

knowsshe’slosing.Faithisstrongandbrave.Icanseethewarriorinher,anditdoesn’tbotherme,or
makemequestionourrelationship.BecauseIunderstandnowthatsomepeople—peoplelikeSelene
and Faith’s stepfather—will never change. As long as they have money and power on their side,
they’llcontinuetohurtpeople.Unlessthey’restopped.That’swhattheSocietygirlsdo.It’swhatFaith
does.Shetoldmeit’snottheirfirstchoice,butsometimesithastobetheirlast.

WhileI’llnevercondonekillingsomeone—oraneyeforaneye—asablanketsolution,Iseenow

thateverysituationisdifferent.AndIcanhandlewhatFaithdoes.Andsupportherandholdherwhen
it’sover.Becausenomatterthatit’sneeded,noneofthewomenwilldoitlightly.AndIknowithasto
weighonherandherfriendssometimes.Icanbeherrockwhensheneedsmetobe.

Thethoughtisfreeingforme,andImustbeshowingitbecauseAidennudgesme.“Yougetitnow,

don’tyou?”

“Yeah man, I do. She does it because she truly has to when there’s no other option. She’ll never

loveit,though.”

“No.Noneofthemwill.I’mgladyou’recoolwithit.”
“Iam.I’mworriedatthemoment,though,”ItellhimasSeleneinitiatesanotherroundofpunches

andkicks.“She’snotgoingtoallowFaithtobeather.”

“No.She’snot.Help’sontheway,though.”
“Ithoughtsheblockedthecellsignal.”
“She might have, but Scott and Ainsley made our trackers immune to that. I activated mine when

Selenewalkedin.Doingthatsentadistresssignaltoeveryone.”

“LookslikeSeleneunderestimatedallofyou.”
“Mostevilpeopledo.They’retoonarcissistictoseeusclearly.”
Westoptalkingasweseethewomenseparateagain.Seleneisevenworseoff.Faithhasafewmore

cuts, but she’s still looking okay. Selene screams and lunges for her. Faith dodges her again, and
Selenegoesdown.

“Grabher,”sheordersElizabeth.

Shestepsforwardwithanotherwoman.Faithmaintainsherfightingstance,untiltheotherwomen

spreadout.TwograbmebeforeAidencanstopthem,placingagunatmytempleandaknifeatmy
throat. They motion for him to back off, and he does. Because what else can he do? The other two
walktoCyndiandJane.Theybothturntheirgunstothem,butFaithshakesherhead.She’snotgoing
to risk them. She turns to me and mouths “I love you” before standing straight up and letting them
holdher.

Selene looks more crazed than ever as she wipes some more blood from her face, and looks at

Faith.“Thiswasdefinitelyasurprise.Youshouldbethankingme.Iobviouslymadeyoustronger.”

“WhoIamhasnothingtodowithyou.Evilbegetsevil,andsoItooknothingfromyou.Ilearned

tobeabetterfighterbecauseIwantedtohelp,nothurt.”

“Suchaloftyspeech.Itwon’tsaveyou,though.Lookather,Cyndi.Youbroughtherin,andnow

you’regoingtowatchherdie.Andforwhat?SothefiveofyoucanplayGod?”

“Ifwewantedglory,wewouldshoutwhatwedofromtherooftops.Wedothisbecausesomeone

hadto,andwehadthemeanstomakeithappen.Don’tyoudaretryandbelittlewhatthewomenwho
workforusdo.AndifFaithdiestoday,knowthatIwillfindyou.Nomatterwhereyoutryandhide,it
won’tbeenough.AndwhenIdo,itwillbeyouwhodies.Iguaranteeyouthat.”

“Suchbravewordsfromanoldwoman.”
“Sheisbrave.Andsmart,strong,andcompassionate.It’sthelasttraitthatseparatesherandthose

other women over there from you. It’s why they’ll always prevail. I may die today, but I know that
nothing could be better than the love they’ve surrounded me with from the moment I joined them.
They replaced the family I lost and gave me something so much better. Especially when I lost my
grandparentslastyear,”Faithsays,holdingherchinhigh.

“Ohhoney,theyweren’tlost.That‘caraccident’theydiedinwasnoaccident.Ikilledthem.”
No.Justno.PleaseGod,no.HowmuchcanFaithtake,andnotbreak?
“Ihelpedher,ofcourse,”theevilstepfathersays.“ItoldthemIwantedtoconfessandthenslipped

thesleepingpillsinyourgrandfather ’sdrink.Hefellasleepatthewheel;boomtheyweredead!”

Iseeitinherfaceasshestartstofall.Elizabethandtheotherwomanforceherbackupastearsfall

downherface.Iwon’tletthemdothis.Ican’t.

“Youareallasickbunchofassholes.”
“Aww, are you sad for your sweet little fuck, Gavin. Her stepfather sucked in the sack, but she

must’vebeenprettygoodtohaveyousoloyal,”Selenetauntsme.Ortriesto.I’mnottakingherbait.

“Iloveher.Andwhatwedoisnoneofyourbusiness.”
“You’re still using present tense when talking about your relationship? That’s so cute. You just

don’tgetit.Letmespellitoutforyou.Faithisgoingtodie.I’mgoingtokillherrighthereinfront
ofyou.”

“Only because you have your helpers. You couldn’t beat her on your own, like you planned. So

nowyou’recheating.Thatmustmakeyoufeelsobigandbad.”

Selenewalksoverandpunchesme,causingtheknifetocutmychin.Notdeepenoughtoleavea

scar,butithurtslikeamotherfucker.AtleastI’mdistractingher.Ifhelpreallyisontheway,Iwantto
givethemtimetogethere.

“We used you and you didn’t figure it out. I might let you live and be my personal chef since

cookingisallyou’regoodat,stupidboy.”

“Haveyouseenthemovie,TheHelp?Becausethere’sapieinthereI’llhappilymakeforyou.”
Shepunchesmeagain,thistimeinthestomach.Idoubleoverandgetanothercutundermychin.

WhenIlookup,Faith’sbeggingmewithhereyestostop.Sheinclinesherhead,andIgetit.Theother
womenstillhaveCyndi.Faithcan’thelpmewithoutpossiblysacrificingthewomansheloveslikea

mother.IwishIcouldtellherthatI’dhappilydieinherplaceifitcomestothat,butIknowherwell
enoughtoknowthatshewouldneverallowthattohappen.

“Iloveyou,Faith.Always.Forever.Iloveyou.”
“That’ssosweet.Adeathbed,orinthiscasedeathroom,declarationoflove.”
SheturnsandhitsFaith,hard.Thenshedoesitagain.We’reallforcedtowatchherpunchandkick

Faith,whilethosebitchesholdhersoshecan’tdefendherself.Ihearbonescrack,andmybloodboils.
IknowI’mnomatchforthesewomen,anditwillonlymakethingsworseifItrytogetaway.Finally,
theassaultstopswhenFaithcan’tstandanymore,evenwiththeirhelp.

She’s on the floor, curled into a ball and crying. Selene is laughing at her, calling her names.

Elizabeth kneels on the floor and pulls Faith’s neck to the side. Selene lifts her heavy combat boot,
andmybreathstops.Iknowshe’sgettingreadytostomponherthroatandkillher.Thankfully,she
doesn’tgetthechance.

TheFrenchdoorstothepatioshatterasMattCorrigandriveshisHarleythroughthem.Reina’son

theback,andassoonastheyclearthedoorshejumpsoffandkicksSelenetotheground.Theother
Society women come into the room from various entrances and start fighting with Selene’s girls. I
runtoFaithassoonasI’mfreed.

“Getthefuckupandfight,Selene.Orareyoutooscaredofme?”Reinayells.
I’dstaydown.Likeseriously.Reinahasmurderinhereyes.MattjoinsmeandtriestogetFaithto

leaveonhisbike.Shewon’tgo,though.

“Ineedtomakesurenoonegetsaway.”
“Noone’sgettingaway,”hetellsher.
“I’mnotdying,I’mjustalittlebustedup.”
“Fine.ButwegowhenyouseehowincontrolReinawillhaveit.”
I look around and see that Aiden and Nate have gotten everyone who’s not directly involved out.

The five women are back in control. There are guns on Susan and Faith’s family. Her stepfather
admittedhisguilt,butnooneknowsifhermotherorgrandmotherareinvolved.Icanunderstandhow
theywouldn’twanttotakechances.

JadeisbeatingtheshitoutofElizabethinfrontofme.I’mdistractedfromthemwhenIseeSelene

starttorise.

“Ifyoukeepsavingthem,they’llnevertoughenup,”shetellsReina.
“Really?BecausefromwhatIunderstand,Faithhadyoudown.Youhadtogethelptohurther.”
Selene lunges, and Reina takes her down again. She punches her over and over again until she’s

limp. I notice that everything around them has gone quiet. Faith’s friends have knocked out or
seriouslyinjuredeveryotherwoman.Justthesetwoareleft.

“Reina,”Faithsays,sittingup.
Reinalooksoveratherandnods.ShegrabsSelenebythecollaranddragshertoFaith.Selenegets

anothercrazysmileonherfaceasshelaughs.

“Youdon’thaveitinyou,littlegirl.”
Faith reaches out and with a strength I didn’t think she still had, snaps Selene’s neck. While

everyoneisstillinshock,shelooksatMatt.Heunderstandswhatevershewasconveyingtohim,and
handsherhisgunbeforemovingoutoftheway.Aidenpushesherstepfatherforwardandsheliftsthe
gun,shootinghiminthehead.Ican’thidetheshockonmyface.Notbecauseshekilledthem—Iknow
shehadto—butbecausewithallherinjuries,Idon’tknowhowshedidit.

ShemisinterpretswhatI’mfeelingasshelooksmeintheeye.“I’msorry,”shesaysbeforepassing

out.

CHAPTER13

Gavin

It’snotaschaoticinhereasyou’dthinkitwouldbe.Iguesstheydealwithpsychoticpeoplewhotry

totakedowntheworldonaregularbasis,sotheyhavethisalldown.Theirprivatemedicalstafftook
Faith. I wanted to go with her, but I was told that I needed to stay so they could brief me. Jane
promisedIcouldgotoFaith’ssideassoonastheytalktome.

Cyndicomesandsitsdownnexttome,handingmeaglassofScotch.Idownitinonedrink.“How

areyouholdingup,Gavin?”

“Notgreat,tobehonest.”
“It’salottotakein.”
“You think? I mean, my mom’s a traitor as well as a psycho control freak who killed my father,

anotherpsychoworkedwithhertotryandtakeyoualldown,andmygirlfriend’sstepfatherkillednot
onlyherfather,butassistedinthedeathsofhergrandparents.Then,saidgirlfriendkilledtwoofthose
peoplebeforepassingoutfromherinjuries.Justanotherday,right?Imean,Iguessitisforyou.”

“Thisisnotnormalforus.Mostofourmissionsarenon-violent.Thegirlsareabletohelppeople

orremovethemfromtheirsituationswithoutevenbreakinganail.”

“Buttherearesomebadones,too.Iknowthereare.”
“Sometimestheyhavetomakehardchoices.”
“Iunderstand.”
“Doyou?Faithcametomeandtoldmehowyoudon’tapproveofher,ortheothergirls,killing

people.”

“It’samoralissueforme.I’veneverbeenokaywithit.Buttoday,whenIheardwhatthosepeople

haddoneandsawintheireyesthattheyhadnoremorse,Iknewtheyhadtodie.Iunderstoodit.AndI
realizedthatIknowFaith,Iknowshewouldneverjustkillsomeoneifshecouldavoidit.”

“Shewouldn’t.Noneofthewomenwould.Andwewouldn’tallowthattohappen.”
“Youknewaboutherfamily.”
“Yes.”
“Whydidn’tyoutryandtakethemdown?”
“Faithwasonlysevenwhenherfatherdied.WhenIbroughtherin,itwastoolatetoprovewhat

he’ddone.”

“Andyoucouldn’tdoanythingelse?”
“We talked about it, Jane and I, but ultimately we knew that Faith would need to take care of it

herself.”

“Faithsaidyoufoundherinculinaryschool.That’saweirdplace,butIguessyousawsomething

inher.”

“I’mgoingtotellyouthisbecauseit’stimeforFaithtoknow,andIthinkshe’llneedyouwithher

whilesheprocessesthetruth.”

“That’snotthetruth?Youliedtoher?”

“Ifoundherbecausehermotherheardaboutus,andbeggedmetotakeherdaughter.Achefisn’t

somethingwereallythoughtweneeded.Afterreadingherstory,Iconvincedtheotherwomenthatshe
wouldbeanasset.”

“Andshehasnoidea?”
“No.Butwehavetotellhernow.Hermotherwantshertoknowthatshehelpedher.Shethinksit

willhelpbridgethegapbetweenthemandshowFaiththatshe’salwayslovedher.”

“Youthinkshe’llforgiveher?”
“Idon’tknow.Idoknowthatthelossoffamily,especiallyhergrandparents,hashitherhard.We’re

like family to her, but I see the pain in her eyes when she sees everyone else with their family
members.”

“I can’t believe my mom did all this. I can’t believe she killed my dad. Over money. After all of

this,IhopeyouwouldbewillingtoacceptagenerousdonationtotheFoundationonmybehalf.”

“Thankyou,Gavin.”
“Ohhey,Jane.CanIleave?IreallyneedtobewithFaith.”
“Letmejustgooverafewthingswithyou,thenyoucanbeonyourway.”
Itakeineverythingshetellsme,andassureherI’llgiveanOscarworthyperformancewhenthe

policegethere.I’mpracticallyjumpingoutofmyskin,waitingforthemtoarrive.Whentheydo,I
asktobeinterviewedfirst,tellingthemIjustneedtoleavethishouseafterwhatmymomdid.

IfinishandrushtotheCorrigan&Co.building.Theguardsareexpectingme.Theyletmeinand

have an elevator already waiting to take me downstairs. I walk into the hospital wing where Matt
greetsmeandtakesmeintoFaith’sroom.She’sbeensedatedtohelpherrestandheal.Ipullachair
nexttothebedandholdherhandasIlaymyheaddownandfallasleep.

***

Faith

IwakeupandseeStellainthechairbymybed.“Hey.”
“You’reawake.OhmyGod.AndGavinjustleft.He’sgoingtobesoupset.”
“Gavinwashere?”
“Ofcourse.Thatboyhasn’tleftyoursideforthelasttwodays.Ifinallyinsistedthathegodownthe

halltotakeashower.”

“I’vebeenherefortwodays?”
“Yeah.Theyknockedyououtsoyou’drelaxenoughtostarthealing.”
“IneedyoutohaveGavinremovedfromthebuilding.”
“What?Didyounothearmesaythathe’sbeenhereatyoursideallthistime?”
“Iheardyou.Hewasonlyherebecausehefeltobligated.”
“That’sbullshit.”
“IsawhisfacewhenIkilledSeleneandMorty.”
“Andletmeguess,helookedshocked?”
“Yes,”Itellheronasob.
“Wouldyouratherhavehadhimnotreact?”
“Maybe.”
“Liar. What we do is wonderful and great, but sometimes it’s hard. Really hard. I’ve never fully

gottenusedtoit,andIdoubtyouhaveeither.Ican’timaginehowitmustbeforsomeonelookingin
fromtheoutside.Buthe’sbeenhere,holdingyourhandandsleepinginthisuncomfortablechairso
hedidn’thavetoletyougo.”

“Ijustcan’tfacehim.Youdon’tknowhimlikeIdo,Stella.He’sgoingtohatemeonceitsinksin.

He’sprobablystillinshock.”

“I’mnothavinghimkickedoutlikeacriminal,butI’lltalktohim.Andsendthenursein.”
Shewalksout,andIturnmyheadtolookintothehall.Idon’treallywanttoseeGavinberelieved

thathispenanceisup,butIhaveto.

“WhatdoyoumeanIhavetoleave?”Ihearhimyell.No,thisisn’thowIplannedforittogo.
IseeStellatryingtocalmhimdown.Hefinallylookspasther,andseesmestaring.Ishakemyhead

andherunshishandthroughhisbeautifulblackhairbeforegivingupandwalkingaway.Exactlylike
Ithoughthewould.Well,notexactly,buthedidgiveupwithoutmuchofafight.

Thenursecomesin,followedbythedoctor.Theygooverallmyinjurieswithme,andtellmeI

justneedrest.Ithankthem,andaskthemtohelpmesleepagain.Ican’tthinkaboutwhatI’velost.And
whatIdidtoloseit.

When I wake up again, Cyndi’s with me. I smile at her, and she leans over to hug me. “What’s

wrong?”

“Nothing’swrong.Ijustneedtotalktoyouaboutsomethings.”
“NotGavin.Ican’ttalkabouthim.”
“No.It’snotGavinthatIneedtotalktoyouabout.It’syourmother.”
Shetellsmethetruthabouthowshefoundme.Howmymotherbeggedher,andsheinturnbegged

Jane.Ialwaysknewmyskillsetwasweirdforthisjob,butIfiguredtheyjustsawsomethinginme.
NowIknowitwasjustpity.Ineverbelongedhere,andnowIknowthat.

“I’llcleanoutmydeskonceI’mable.”
“What?NoFaith.Ididn’ttellyouthistomakeyouleave.Yourmotherwantedyoutoknowthatshe

hasalwayslovedyou,andgotyouthejobheretohelpyou.”

“ButIneverbelonged.Iknewit.Hell,theothergirlsprobablyknewit,too.Whatgoodisachefas

asecretagent?”

“You’re one of the best, and everyone knows it. Your original career may have been

unconventionalforourneeds,butyou’veexcelledhere.We’reyourfamily,Faith.Weloveyou.”

“Comeonnow,youknewthiswascoming.Iwasarrestedfortreason.SoeveryoneknowswhoI

amnow.”

“No.Yournamewasneverreleased.”
“Justletmego,Cyndi.Webothknowit’sforthebest.IfI’dbeencutoutforthislife,Iwouldn’t

havebeenindangeroffailingmartialarts.Selenewouldneverhavedonewhatshedid,andyou’dall
behappy.”

“Youknowyou’refreetogo.Noonewilltryandforceyoutostay.Butyoudobelonghere.”
“Thankyouforeverything,Cyndi.Iloveyousomuch,andIwishIwasn’tdisappointingyou.”
“You will never disappoint me, so long as you’re doing what’s right for you, Faith. I love you,

too.”

We’rebothcryingaswehug.Iknowthisisright.It’swhatIhavetodo.Itwon’tmakemehappy,

though.Notatall.

***

Gavin

It’sbeenthreeweekssinceStellamademeleavethehospitalwing.Notasecondofanydaygoesby

when I’m not thinking about Faith. And wondering how she’s doing. I need to see her, and find out
whyshehadmekickedout.Ilovehertoomuchtogiveherupwithoutafight.

Ihaven’tbeensittingidleduringthistime.Irefusedtotakehelpfindareplacementformymomin

the Senate after she resigned, citing personal issues. She’s not in jail because she agreed to forget
whatshesawFaithdoinexchangeforherfreedom.She’sinsomeforeigncountrylivinghighonthe
hushmoneyIreadilyagreedtogiveher.Idon’twantapubliclife.EspeciallywhenthewomanIlove
needstostayundertheradar.

EventhoughI’mpersonanongrataattheFoundation,IaskedJanetogetmeintocontactwithsome

peopleattheschooldistrict,andthelocalfoodbank,ThreeSquare.Shewaswillingtohelp,andI’m
working with people from both places to set up cooking classes for low-income and homeless
students. They were really excited to hear about my plans, and although things aren’t finalized yet,
they’reprettysurewe’llgetapproval.

I put my house up for sale, and have a meeting with the Griffins today—this time for real. I’m

goingtoholdoffonofficialplanssoIcanconsultwithFaith—ifsheeveragreestoseemeagain—
butIwanttogettheballrollingtolookforlandandallthat.It’salittleweirdthistimebecauseIknow
theyallknowwhat’sgoingon.

“HeyGavin,it’sgreattoseeyou,”RyantellsmeasIwalkintohisofficewithChloe.Istillthinkit’s

weirdthatshe’shisassistant,aswellaseverythingelse,butIguessitworksforthem.

“Howareyouguysdoing?”
“Youmeannowthatweknowourmom’soneoftheheadsofasecretsocietythatemployssecret

agents to defend women and children? And that all our wives, one of our brothers, and our niece
knew.Butourdadanduscouldn’tbecausewe’reguys?”Owenasksme.

“Yeah,that.”
“Surprisingly—or not—we’re doing great. Our mom’s always been awesome, so it just ups her

coolfactor.”

“Ourdadwasn’tsurewhattosayatfirstandthenhedecidedthat,andIquote,‘I’vebeensleeping

withasecretagentforyears.Howcoolisthat?’Imean,ew,right?Butalsogoodtoknowthey’restill
solid,”Ryantellsme.

“Yeah.Thatisgood.”
“ItsucksthatFaithleft,though,”Candisays.
“Whatareyoutalkingabout?”
“Youdon’tknow?Well,shit.Faithquit.”
“No.Shewouldn’t.”
“Well,shedid.Theywon’ttelluswhybecausewe’renotpartoftheinnersanctum,butIknowit’s

bad.Thegirlscanbarelystopcrying,especiallyReina.AndCyndi’samess,”Chloeinformsme.

“Ihavetogo.I’msorry.Canwereschedule,orI-Idon’tknow.Ijusthavetogo.”
“Dowhatyouneedto,Gavin.We’reherewhenyou’reready.”
“ThanksRyan.”
Luckily the Corrigan building is close by. I’m a little crazed, and driving far is not a good idea.

Theguardsatthegatedon’twanttoletmein,buttheyfinallyagreetocallReina,andthenI’mwaved
through.Iwalkintothelobbyandgetavisitor ’sbadgefromthereceptionist.Anelevatoriswaitingto
takemeuptothefoundation’spublicspace.

AlexGriffinissnifflingwhenIwalkin.“H-hi,Gavin.Reina’sexpectingyou.Youcangoonback

tothelastofficeontheleft.”

“Thanks,Alex.”
“You’regoingtobringherback,aren’tyou?”
“That’smyplan.”
“Good.Everyonehereiswillingtohelp.Wemissher.”
“Iknow.Imissher,too.”

IwalkdownthehallandknockonReina’sdoorbeforewalkingin.She’snotalonewhenIwalkin.

Stella,Tegan,andAinsleyarealsointheroom.

“Hiladies.”
“Hello,Gavin.Pleasetakeaseat,”Reinatellsme.
“Shereallyquit?”
“Yes.”
“Isshestillinherapartment?”
“No.Wetoldhershecouldstaythere,butsherefused.”
“Ofcourseshedid.”
“Shehasn’treachedouttoyouatall?Imean,Iknowshethinksyouhateher,butIthoughtshe’d

breakandcallyou,”Stellasays.

“ShethinksIhateherbecauseIwasshockedwhenshekilledthem,right?”Theynod.“Idon’t.Iwas

onlyinshockbecauseI’dneverseenanyonegetkilledbefore.Iknowshedidwhatshehadto.Ihad
alreadycometotermswithitbeforeitwentdown.”

“I tried to tell her that you were probably just in shock. And that you wouldn’t have sat at her

bedsideifyouhatedher.Shewasjustscared.”

“AndthenCynditoldherabouthermom?”
“Yeah.”
“Iwasafraidthatwouldn’tgowell.I’dbeenhopingtobewithherwhenshefoundout.”
“I just can’t believe that she thinks she doesn’t belong here with us. She’s so good at everything.

Likeliterallyeveryclasswetookshewasatthetop.Well,exceptformartialarts.Butshegotbetterat
that,”Ainsleytellsmebeforeburstingintotears.

“Nokidding.BeforeSelenehadherheld,sheonlyhadafewcutsandbruises.Selenecouldbarely

walk.”

“Aidentoldus.We’vealltriedtoreachout,butshesaidacleanbreakwasbetter.”Ireachoverand

squeezeTegan’sshoulderasshebeginstocry,too.

“Haveyoufoundherreplacementyet?”
“We’renotlooking.Noonewantsherreplaced,sowe’rejustpretendinglikeshetookapersonal

leave.Janesaidwecouldgiveitthreemonths,andifshe’sstillnotback,we’llmakeadecision.”

“Eventhoughyou’reactinglikeyoudon’t,Iknowyouknowwheresheis,”IsaytoAinsley.
“Yeah.Ideactivatedhertrackerwhensheaskedmeto,butnotuntilIknewwhereshemovedto.I’ve

usedpublicsurveillancecamerastocheckonhereverycoupleofdays.”

“Whathasshebeendoing,Ainsley?”
“She goes to a French café in the morning, and then she wanders around the malls, or casinos,

sometimesevenTarget.Justblendinginwithlocalsandtourists.”

“She’stryingtoseeifshecanlivea‘normal’life.”
“Ithinkso,too,”Reinasays,agreeingwithme.
“WhattimecanIfindherinthecafé?”
“Sheusuallygetstherebetweennineandtenduringtheweek.They’reclosedonweekends.”
“Goodthingtomorrow’sFriday.”
“Bringherback,Gavin.Pleasebringherback,”Stellatellsme,grabbingmyarm.
“I’lldomybest,Stella.Tobringherbacktoallofus.”
Iwalkoutoftheofficeandamheadingbacktothelobby,whenMattgrabsmeandpullsmeintoan

emptyconferenceroom.

“Youdidn’tneedtograbme.Iwould’vejustwalkedinherewithyou.”
“Ididn’twantReinatosee.”
“O-kay.”

“You’regoingafterFaithItakeit.”
“YesIam.”
“Good.Iwantedtogotoher,butIdon’tknowwhattosay.”
“Yeah,I’mnotsureexactlywhattosayeither,butIfigure‘Iloveyou’isagoodstart.”
“Weneedherbackhere.Allofus.”
“ButespeciallyReina?”
He looks like he wants to argue but then sighs, and nods. “It’s wrecking her that she couldn’t

convincehertostay.It’snotherfault.Imean,I’mprettysuresheknewabouthowFaithwasrecruited,
butitwasn’tuptohertospillthat,youknow?”

“Yeah.IthadtocomefromCyndi.”
“ButRei,shecaressomuchforeveryone.Soifthey’rehurt,shehurtstoo.Andthis…Ijustdon’t

knowman.Ineedallthesewomentobeokay.They’relikemysisters.”

“Reinaisnotasistertoyou.”
Hecracksasmileatthat.“Definitelynot.She’s…no,notasister.Buttheothergirlsare.”
“I’m going to beg if I have to, for her to take me back. And then I’ll work on the Foundation. I

promiseI’lldothebestIcantoatleastgethertoopenaconversationaboutcomingback.Thenit’sup
toallofyoutoconvinceherwhatabadasssheis.Isawherfight,butinyourrealmmyopinionwon’t
meanmuchtoher.”

“Thanks.We’llbegtoo,ifwehaveto.I’llgetonmyknees.Anythingtogetherback.”
“ForReina.”
“Foreveryone.”Iraiseaneyebrowathim.“Okay,it’smostlyforReina,butIcan’tstandtoseethe

othergirlscryingallday,either.Itmesseswithamantohavethemallfallingapart.It’slikeadomino
effect.Onegoesdownandtheyallgodown.It’srough.”

“HowareAidenandNateholdingup?”
“Theyrefusetocomeoverhere.Theycan’ttakeiteither.Wewereallinthewarandhandledthat

shitjustfine.Butthis,thisisjustbeyondus.”

“I get it. I was freaked out when they started crying in Reina’s office. And that was only four of

them.Allninewouldbeinsane.”

“Itisman.Itreallyis.”
Wetalkforafewmoreminutes,andthenIleave.Ihavelessthanadaytocomeupwithaplanto

winbackmywomanandconvincehertogobacktoherjob.Ifonlyitwasaseasyasitsounds.But
nothingworthhavingisevereasy.

CHAPTER14

Faith

I’msittinginBaguetteCafé,eatingmyomeletcroissantanddrinkingsomefreshlysqueezedjuice.

Theselastfewweekshavebeenhard.Reallyhard.Myinjurieshavemostlyhealed—well,thephysical
onesanyway.Idon’tknowthatI’llevergetoveralltheemotionalpainI’mfeeling.Killingmytwo
biggestenemiescausedmetolosethemanthatIlove,andIhadtogiveupmyjobsandfriendsas
well. I couldn’t be the charity case anymore, especially now that the secret of how and why I was
recruitedisout.

Gavin.Justthinkinghisnamealmostsendsmeintotears.Thelossofhimmakesmyhearthurt.It

literally hurts, and I can feel it break every time I think about the look on his face that day. I chose
revenge and vengeance over him. I didn’t even think about him, and how he would react when I
snappedSelene’sneckandshotMorty.TheywerejustthingsIneededtodo.Icouldn’tletthemlive.
Buthe’dneverunderstandthat.Hismoralcodeaboutkillingistoohigh.Toounforgiving.AndnowI
havetofindawaytocopewiththelossofhim.

Thoughts of the Society, and everyone connected with it, send me into an even darker place. For

fouryears,theyweremylife.UntilGavin,almosteverywakingmomentIhadwasspentthinkingof
those women and how we could help people. How I could help people. I took on every mission I
could.IrealizenowthatIdiditbecauseIthoughtIcouldfindpeacebyhelpingotherswhenIcouldn’t
helpmyself—ormyfather—whenIneededto.IknowIwasseven,andnomatchforagrownman,
butthatdoesn’tmeanIdidn’tfeellikeIshould’vebeenabletodosomethingtosavemydad.Inever
wantedtofeelhelplessagain,andIhaven’tsinceSelenewasfired.

Selene’snamedoesn’tbringtheangeritusedto.Instead,Ifeelshame.BecauseeventhoughCyndi

toldmethatonlysheandtheothermentorsknewwhyIwasrecruitedatthebeginning,Seleneknew.
Deep in that cold, black heart of hers, she knew that I didn’t belong. While the other agents and
women who taught me always heaped me with praise, she always reminded me of how unworthy I
wasofthepositionbeingofferedtome.IfIhadn’tturnedherin,Iwould’vefailedherclassandnot
beenhired.Thatwasn’tmyreasoningthen—Ididittoprotectusfromanevilwoman—butIseenow
that I got the job I had by default. They took pity on me once again, and Reina gave me a passing
grade.

Ihaven’tcookedsincewalkingoutoftheC&Cbuilding.Ican’t.Thethingthatoncebroughtme

themostjoynowremindsmeofmyfailures.CulinaryschooliswhereCyndifoundthedamaged22
year old girl who had honored her grandparent’s wishes and gotten a business degree before
pursuingwhatshereallywanted.FromthetimeIwasalittlegirl,Iwasalwaysinthekitchenwithmy
dad.Whenhedied,andIwenttolivewithmygrandparents,itwasmygrandmotherwhoIpractically
livedwithinthekitchen.TheirrestaurantwasoneofthemostpopularinLosAngeles,andIlovedthe
fastpaceandclangingpotsandpans.

I knew I would be a chef one day, but I did what they asked and got the other degree first,

graduatingSummaCumLaudeeventhoughtheclassesboredmetotears.Inlessthanamonthafter
receivingmydiploma,Iwastakingmyfirstformalcookingclass.Iknewimmediatelythatitwasthe

rightpathforme.Iloveditall.Everyclass,eventheoneswheretheinstructorspickedoneverything.
Iwassohappy.Butnowthat’sallchanged,andIdon’tknowifI’llevergetthathappinessback.

“Isthisseattaken?”
IlookupinshockatGavinstandingoverme,smilingashehashishandonthewhitechairacross

from me. It’s almost like my thoughts made him materialize in front of me. I ache to jump up and
throwmyarmsaroundhim,butIcan’t.

“Whatareyoudoinghere?”
“Iheardthisplacewasprettygood,soIcameinforbreakfast.ImaginemysurprisewhenIsawthe

womanIlovesittinghereallaloneandlostinthought.”

“Ainsley’sbeentrackingme.”
Heshrugs.“Lotsandlotsofpeoplealsoloveyou.NotlikeIdo,butjustasintensely,Ithink.”
“Webothknowyou’llnevergetpastwhatyousaw.”
“Ifyou’dletmesitdown,Icouldexplaintoyouhowthere’snothingtogetpast.”
“Hereinpublic,withallthesepeoplearound,youwanttodiscussthis?”
“I’dratherdiscussitinprivate,butI’lltakewhatIcanget.Wecantalkincodeorsomething.Like

sexysecretagents.”

“Stopit,Gav.”
“Ihaven’tevenstarted,Faith.AndI’mnotgivingup.SoI’llaskyouagain—isthisseattaken?”
“Yes.”No.Iwantedtosayno,butIcouldn’t.
Iputmyfeetonthechairasonesideofhislipsquirkup,andhestepstothetablenexttomewhere

acoupleofwomenaresitting.Itlookslikethey’reworkingorwritingontheirlaptops.

“Goodmorning,ladies.IwaswonderingifIcouldconvinceyoutomovetothatothertableover

theresoIcouldsithere.”

“We’resettledinherealready.”
“I’llgiveyou$1,000eachtomove.”
“Seriously?”
“Seriously.”
He takes out his wallet and hands them each ten bills as they gather their things and move to the

othertable.Hesitsdownintheseatnexttomeandstretchesouthislegs.Iglanceoverandwantto
slapthatsmuglookoffhislips.Orkissthem.Thisissonotgood.

***

Gavin

Fuck. This is unfortunately going just as I expected it would. Good thing I brought along cash. I

waswillingtopayupto$10,000ifIhadto.I’vegottheseat,andIknowI’maffectingherjustlike
she’saffectingme,butshe’snotgoingtogiveintoherfeelings.ShestillthinksI’mupset.Andshe’s
cutherhair.

Itgoestoherelbowsnow,notherass.There’sstillenoughtohavemethinkingaboutwrappingmy

handinitandpulling,whichofcoursemeansmypantsareawholelottighterthanwhenIwalkedin.I
needtosaysomethingtoher,soIstartwiththat.

“Youcutyourhair.”
“I’msurprisedittookyouthislongtonotice.”
“InoticedittheminuteIwalkedin.That,andhowsadyoulookedwhileyouwerethinking.Like

your thoughts were causing you physical pain. I wanted to pull you into my arms and kiss all your

pain away. But I was afraid you’d kick my ass right here in the middle of the coffee shop. I was
hopingtohavealittledignityleftwhenIwalkoutofhere.”

“Imight’veslappedyou,butnoasskicking.AndIwouldnevertakeyourdignity.Well,notallofit,

atleast.”

“I’dgiveitalltoyouifIknewyou’dwalkoutofherewithme.”
“Why.Afterwhatyousawmedo,whyareyouhere?”
“BecauseIloveyousomuchthatIcanfeelmyheartbreakingatthethoughtofnotbeingwithyou.

Icametotermswithwhatyoudidbeforeyoudidit.When…things…weregoingdown,Irealizedthe
need for what you were going to have to do. If you hadn’t done that, those animals wouldn’t have
stoppedhurtingotherpeople.Ever.Therewasnochoice,andIknewthatthen.JustasIknowitnow.”

“Butthelookonyourface.”
“C’mon,you’vegottocutaguysomeslack.I’djustseenmyhotgirlfriendgoallbadassandkick

someevilbutt,thengetbeatenpracticallytodeathbecauseshewasprotectingmeandanotherperson
sheloves.AndI’dneverseenanyoneget…hugged…before.”

Sheburstsoutlaughing.“Didyoujustsayhugged?”
“Yeah.Idon’tknowwhatothercodewordtocallit.”
Thesmileisgonefromherfaceassheturnstofullylookatme,totallyseriousonceagain.“Did

youmeanwhatyousaid?”

“Yes.Onethousandpercentyes.”
“They told me you sat with me while I was sedated. You…you held my hand and slept that way,

sittingup.”

Hervoiceisbreakingandtearsareshininginhereyes.“Yes.Iwould’vestayed,butStellasaidyou

toldhertomakemeleave.WalkingoutoftherewasthehardestthingI’veeverdone.”

“Kicking you out, and then walking out of there myself later, were the hardest things I’ve ever

done.”

“Theywantyouback,Faith.Youhavetoknowthat.”
Sheshakesherhead.“Theyneedsomeonewhobelongsthere.”
“Youbelongthere.They’renotlookingforanyoneelse.”
“What?Theyhaveto.You’rewrong.”
“I’m not wrong. I was just there yesterday. I would’ve gone earlier but I didn’t know you’d quit.

Seeingthosestrongwomenfallingapartwastorture.Mattisamess,too.”

“No.Theyshouldbehappy.Nowtheycanhavesomeonewhodeservesaplacethere.”
Iturnfullytoher,andtakeherhandsinmine.Shedoesn’tpullawaywhichItakeasagoodsign.

Hell,I’lltakewhatevershe’llgivemeatthispoint.Ipauseaminuteasthewaitercomesbyanddrops
offmycroissantandjuice.IthankhimbeforeturningbacktoFaith.

“I’mnotgoingtotryandtellyouwhatyoushouldfeel,orwhattheyshouldfeel.I’mjustgoingto

tellyouwhatIknow,andwhatIsaw,okay?”

Shenodsandsqueezesmyhands.“Okay.”
“You fit in, Faith. Every interaction I saw between you and your friends makes that abundantly

clear.FromwhatIunderstand,youexcelledateveryoneofyourclasses.”Shestartstospeak,butI
stopherwithaquickkiss.“Iknowaboutthemartialartsone.ButIalsoknowwhatIsawafewweeks
ago.Andyoumayhavehadtoworkharderatthat,butyou’vemasteredit.Youmasteredher. Seeing
Selenegettingcrazierassherealizedjusthowgoodyouarewasscary.Youdidthattoher,madeher
losehermindwhensheunderstoodthatshe’dunderestimatedyou.”

“ButtheyallknownowthatIshouldneverhavebeenrecruited.”
“I’dlovetoseeanyonetryandtellthemthat.”
“Seriously,Gav.It’sembarrassing.”

“Itshouldn’tbe.Yourfriendsdon’tcarehowyougotthere.Theyjustwantyoutobethere.Iwasn’t

kidding—they’reallfallingapart.MattsaidAidenandNatecan’tevenstandtogointotheFoundation
anymore.Theymissyousomuch.Asbothafriend,andaco-worker.”

“Really?You’renotjustsayingthat?”
“Ithoughtyoutrustedmenow.”
“Ido.”
“I’msorryaboutthat,bytheway.IfI’dknownabouttheblindfold—“
She’stheonereachingovertokissmenow.“Youtooksomethingthatwasscaryformeandturned

itintopleasureandfun.Ineededthat,Gavin.”

“Ineedyou,Faith.Pleasecomebacktome.”
“I’mholdingyourhandandwe’vekissedtwice.I’dsayyou’remakingprogress.”
“Thoseweren’tkisses.Iknowit’sbeenafewweeks,butIcan’tbelieveyouforgotwhatarealkiss

islike.”

“Ihaven’tforgotten.HowcouldIforgetyouandyourmagiclips.”
“Magic,huh?Ilikethat—butonlyifmytongue,fingers,andcockgetthesamedistinction.”
“You’reridiculous.”
“Iknow.”
Shelaughsbeforeleaninginandkissingmeagain.Arealkissthathasusbothgaspingforbreath

whenwebreakapart.Shecaressesmycheekasweplaceourforeheadstogether.

“Iloveyou,Gavin.”
“AndIloveyou,Faith.”
“CanyoudrivemetotheFoundation?Ihavemycar,butI’malittleshakyrightnow.”
“OfcourseIcan.”
“Youdidn’tmakeajokeaboutmebeingshaky.”
“Ididn’tthinkitwasappropriate.”
“Sincewhendoyouevercareaboutbeingappropriate?”
“You’reright.AndI’mgladImadeyousoshakywithjustonekiss.Waituntillater—I’llmakeyou

soweak,youwon’tbeabletostandforaweek.”

“There’smyGavin.”
“Always.I’malwaysyours.”

***

Faith

TheguardsatthegatesmilewhentheyseemeinthecarwithGavin.Ismilebackastheywaveus

through.Gavinshutsoffthecar,andstartstoopenhisdoor.Iputmyhandonhisarmtostophim.

“I’mscared.”
“Don’tbe.I’mgoingtoberighttherewithyou,butyoureallydon’tneedme.Theywantyouback.

Ilikethewayyou’redoingthis,though.It’sgoodforyou—andforthem.”

“Idoneedyou,Gavin.Talkingthisoutwithyouonthewayherehelpedmesomuch.”
Itreallydid.Thedrivewasn’tlong,butitgavemethetimetotalkoutwhatIwantedtodo.IthinkI

musthavealwaysknownIwasgoingtodoitbecausetheplancamesoeasilytome.Mysubconscious
obviouslyknewwhatIdidn’t—Iwillneverfindanotherjoblikethisone,orfriendslikethem.Ihave
togetmyjobback.EvenifitmeansIhavetobegandplead.Gavinsaysitwon’tcometothat,butI’m
notabovegroveling.

I walk inside, and the receptionist waves to the elevators with a smile. I wait for her to activate

them,butnothinghappens.Gavinfinallynudgesme.

“Aren’tyougoingtoletusin?”
“Idon’thaveauthorityanymore.”
“Goaheadandtry.”
Iplacemypalmonthepanel,andthedoorsopenimmediately.Ittakesmeafewsecondstorecover,

but then I take the few steps inside. As the elevator moves before I punch a number, I look into the
cameraabovethedoorandsmileatAinsley.

Gavinmotionsmeoutwhenwegettothefloor.MystepsarehesitantasIenterthelobby.Alexruns

overtomeandhugsmeimmediately.

“ThankGodyou’reback,Faith.Imissedyousomuch.”
“I’mnotofficiallybackyet,Alex.Butthanks.Imissedyou,too.”
Alexstepsbackandgoestositatherdeskagain.IjuststandtherebecauseIwanttodothisright.I

needtospeak,butjustbeinginsidethesewallsisgettingtome.I’mafraidthatImightstartcrying,
andsoI’mjuststandingherelikeanidiot.Gavinrealizeswhat’sgoingonandhelpsmeout.

“FaithwouldliketoseeReinaaboutapplyingforajobhere.Ifshe’savailable.”
Alexlooksflusteredforamoment,butthencomposesherself.“Ofcourse.Letmecallherandsee

ifshehastime.Pleasehaveaseat.”

IletGavinleadmeovertooneofthecouches.Hekeepsmyhandinhisaswesit.Ikeepmyback

straight;although,I’dratherjustcuddleintohim.Actuallybeinghereismakingmyplanseemalittle
dumb.

“Stopworrying.Everything’sgoinggreatsofar.”
“Ihaven’ttalkedtoanyoneyet.Reinamightbetoobusytoseeme.”
“She’llhavetimeforyou.”
BeforeIcanrespond,Alexhangsupthephoneandstands.“Reina’sreadytoseeyou.Let’sgointo

theroom.”

“You’regoingtoo?”
“Everyonewillbethere.ReinasaidGaviniswelcometojoinus,justthisonce.”
“Thanks,Alex,”hesaysashestands,pullingmeupwithhim.
IputonefootinfrontoftheotherasIwalkonauto-pilot.Iwasn’texpectingtoseeeveryoneelse

yet.I’dbeenhopingthatmymeetingwithReinawouldgowell,andthatIcouldasktoseeeveryone
elsebeforeIleft.Ididn’tknowthey’dallbeintheroomwhenIpresentedmycaseforanotherchance
atworkingwiththem.

It scares me, but at the same time I feel relief. I want their acceptance as much as I want to be

workingwiththemagain.Maybehavingthemthereintheroom,andtheirinputonthedecision,will
make me finally feel like I truly belong with them. If they vote to allow me to come back, that is. I
thinktheywill,butIwon’tknowforsureuntilIask.

ItakeadeepbreathoutsidetheroomandwalkinthedoubledoorswithGavinatmyside.Istopa

coupleofstepsintolookateveryonewho’sgatheredhere.It’snotjustninefacesstaringbackatme,
but thirty-two. All the girls, the five mentors, Matt and the guys, and the mentors’ family members
whoknow,arealllookingatme.Andthey’reallsmiling.Ifeelmytearsstartagain,butthistimeout
ofhappiness.

“Goget‘em,Faith,”Gavintellsmeashekissesmycheek.
Inodandtakeadeepbreath.“Hieveryone.Iappreciateyouallmeetingmeonsuchshortnotice,

althoughI’msuspectingthatyouknewI’dbeheretoday.”

I look at Gavin, but he just gives me one of his infuriating shrugs and lopsided smiles. So yeah,

nowIknowthiswaspartoftheplanallalong.Icameupwithmypartonmyown,buthealwaysknew

we’denduphere.Andsodidthey.Nowit’sjusttimetoprovethatIreallybelonghere.Youknow,the
easypart.

CHAPTER15

Faith

“I’msureAlexhastoldyouthatI’mheretoapplyforajob.I’dliketopointoutthereasonswhyI

think I’m qualified to work here and be part of this amazing team of women. I know a chef isn’t
someone with a background you’d normally consider. I’m no genius like some of the women, and
I’mnotthebestfighterintheroom.

“WhatIcanbring,ispassion.IhadZanetattoothisonmyarmlastweek.”Iliftupthesleeveofmy

sweatertoshowthemthequotefromMartinLutherKing,Jr.Itsays“Injusticeanywhereisathreatto
justiceeverywhere.”

“Ibelieveentirelyinthatquote,andIknowthatallofyouheredoaswell.Iwanttobepartofthat.

Helpingtoeraseasmuchinjusticeintheworldaspossible.It’swhatI’mcalledtodo.Morethaneven
cooking,thisiswhatIwasbornfor.WhatIwasputonthisEarthfor.

“I’m willing to go back through training again. To prove myself to all of you. I just want to be

here.Iwantitmorethananything.Well,almostanything,”IsayasIlookoveratGavinsittingnextto
me.Isitdownnexttohimwithasmile.Hesqueezesmyhandandleansovertokissmycheek.

Janestandsup,andwhilesheisn’tsmiling,Icantellthatshe’salsonotangry.“Faith,Icannotgive

youajobhere.”

“Oh,I’lljustgothen.”
No, this can’t be happening. I didn’t think it would be as easy as Gavin said it would be, but I

thoughtshe’dgivemeachance.WhenIlookathim,Icantellhe’sasshockedasIam.Thegirlsare
allspeaking,imploringJanetochangehermind.Reinalookslikeshemightbesick.

“Ifeveryonewouldquietdownandletmefinish,wecanmoveon.”
Theyallsettledown,andIstandandwaitforJane’sreasons.Ioweherthatmuch.PlusInoticedthat

Cyndi and the other three mentors stayed calm when everyone else was thrown into chaos. So they
knowwhat’sgoingon,andIthinkCyndiwouldbelookingmoreupsetifthiswasreallytheend.

“As I was saying, I can’t offer you a job here. Because you already have one. You needed some

personaltime,andthat’stobeexpectedafterallyoulearnedandexperienced.Butyourjobisherefor
you.Noworlater,wheneveryoufeelthatyou’rereadyforitagain.

“I also want you to understand that while you’re recruitment was a little unusual for us, every

woman here was recruited in a different way. No two women who work for us are ever alike. We
don’t want a cookie cutter girl. It is uniqueness that makes us so strong. Would a chef have been a
natural choice for me? No, I can’t say that it would have. But neither would a fashion stylist or a
bartender. Should your friends be thrown out because a cat burglar and a linguist are more natural
choices,Faith?”

IlooktoStellaandEllie,andshakemyhead.“No,ofcoursenot.”
“You earned your place. All of you did. Military women, police women—some of the outwardly

strongestwomenwe’devertriedtorecruit—failedtheirtraining.Becausebeinghereisn’tallabout
physical strength or how well you can do in a fight. It’s about strength of character and the

willingnesstoputyourlifeonthelinetosavesomeoneelse’s.Youhaveproventimeandtimeagain
thatwemadetherightchoicewithyou.Idareanyoneinthisroomtosaydifferently.”

I’mopenlysobbingintoGavin’sshouldernowasherubsmybackandkissesthetopofmyhead,

overandoveragain.IcanhearotherpeoplecryinginthesilencethatfollowswhatJanehassaidto
me.Itgoesonforafewminutes,beforeMattspeaksup.

“FortheloveofGod,pleasestopcrying.Allofyou.Ican’ttakethisanymore.Noneofusguyscan.

Itkillsustoseeyoulikethis.Please.”

Istarttolaughandthenwalkovertohughim.“Thistimeit’shappytears.”
“Stilltears.Shit,”hesaysashepullsReinatohim.She’scryingevenharderthanIam.“Canyou

tellherit’sokaythatsheknewhowyouwererecruited,please?”

IseeherpunchhiminthestomachasIprocesswhathejustsaid.“Reina,doyouthinkI’mmadat

you?”

ShenodsagainstMatt’schest.“Yes.”
“I’mnotmadatyou.Ifeltbadthatyouhadtoputupwithme.Ithoughtyou’dresentmeforthat,

eventhoughyounevertreatedmedifferently.”

“Resentyou?”sheasks,pullingoutofMatt’sembrace.“Iloveyou,Faith.AndI’msoproudofyou

andwhatyou’veaccomplished.Youhaveacrazysuccessrateonyourmissions,andI’veneverhad
any problems with anything you’ve done. You’re a valuable asset to the Society, and to me as a
friend.”

“Iloveyou,too.”
Wehugandtheneveryoneelsecomesoverandhugsmeseparately,andthentogether.Ilookover

and see Gavin and the other guys shaking their heads. I stick out my tongue at him, and he laughs.
Afteralmosteveryonegoesbacktowork,ReinatellsmethatIcancomebackanydayIwant.Allmy
clearancesandpasscodesareintact,andmyofficeisjusthowIleftit.

“You’reapartment’sthesameasyouleftit,too.”
“YoualwaysknewI’dcomeback.”
“No,Ialwayshopedyou’dcomeback.”
“Thankyouforbelievinginme.”
“Always.”
Shehugs me, andwalks out, leavingme alone with Gavin,Jane, and Cyndi.Jane walks over and

hugsme.“Ijustwantedtotellyou,again,howproudIamofyou.IknowCyndihassomethingsshe
needstotalktoyouabout,soI’mgoingtoleavethetwoofyoualone.Gavincanwaitinthelobby.”

Helooksatme,makingsureI’mokaywiththat.“Goon.I’llbefine,”ItellhimasIleanupandkiss

himlightlyonthelips.

“I’llbeoutthereifyouneedme.Foranything.”
“Iknow.”
TheywalkoutandIgotositdownnexttoCyndi.“Hi.”
“Hi,Faith.”
“Youwanttotalkaboutmymom,don’tyou?”
“Herandalsome.I’msorryyouhadtofindoutabouteverythingwhenyouweredealingwithso

muchmore.”

“Ijustdon’tunderstand.Shehelpedcoverupmydad’smurder,andthenmarriedthatbastard.And

shedidn’tcarewhenIwantedtomoveinwithmygrandparent’s.WhyallofasuddencarewhenIwas
inculinaryschool?”

“FromwhatIunderstand,yourmotherwasn’tgivenachoiceaboutanyofthethingsshedid.”Istart

tospeak,butsheholdsupherhand.“Theythreatenedyou,Faith.Bothofthosedisgustingpeopletold

hertogetoverthedeathofthemanshelovedandplayalong,ortheywouldmakesureyouhadan
accident.She’sbeenabusedandbelittledforalltheseyearsbecauseshewantedtokeepyousafe.”

“No.Shedidn’twantme.Shetoldme…”
Oh my God. I’m remembering now. Remembering how she was saying her words but her eyes

didn’t match. I was a little girl and didn’t understand it then. As an adult, I understand it now. I can
rememberherfaceandseethefearthere.Andthepain.Allthistime,Ithoughtshehatedme,andmy
father.Butshedidn’t.Shewasjusthelpless.Untilshefoundsomeonetoprotectme.

“ButI’vebeensafesinceyourecruitedme.”
“Yes. And your mother has been slowly extricating herself from them. She’s been recording

conversationsandhidingmoney.Shealreadyhadagetawayplannedforthismonth.Shewasgoingto
leave during the annual Christmas party your grandmother throws and go into hiding. We were
helpingher.”

“Thank you. I know those words aren’t nearly enough for all you’ve done for me, but I mean it.

Thankyou,Cyndi.”

“There’sonemorething,butshe’dliketotellyouherself,ifyou’lllether.”
“She’shere?Mymother ’shere?”
“Yes.I’llletherin,ifthat’salrightwithyou?”
“You’llstaywithus.”
“Ifthat’swhatyouwant.”
“Please.”
Shenodsandpicksupthephone,tellingJanethatI’veagreedtoseemymother.Thedoorsopen,

andshewalksin.Istand,butIdon’tgotoher.Shecomestome.Shestartstoreachout,butthenstops
herself.Weallsitdown.

“MybeautifulFaith.I’vemissedeverythinginyourlife.I’vemissedyou.”
“I-Imissedyou,too.”
“DidCynditellyouIdidn’twanttoletyougo?”
“Yes.AndIrememberyourfacenow.Icanseeyourpain.Icouldn’tthen,butIdonow.”
“Ishould’veknownthatyourgrandmotherandMortyweregoingtocomeforme.ButIthought

thataftereightyears,theyhadfinallyrealizedIlovedyourfatherandwasnevergoingtoleavehim.
Weshouldn’thaveletourguarddown.Wewerejustsohappy.”

“Iremember.Cyndisaidthere’ssomethingelseyouneedtotellme.”
“I knew Morty was having an affair a little over a year ago. I was honestly happy and hoped he

wouldleaveme.Cyndihadgivenmeabugtoputinhisofficesowewouldknowifhewentafteryou.
Itwasn’tmeoryouthatweheardhimplanningtogoafter,though.”

“Alittleoverayear?Youmean…ohmyGod…youheardthemtalkingaboutmygrandparents.”
“Yeswedid,Faith.”
“Andyoudidn’ttrytosavethem?”
Ijumpoutofmychairandbackawayfromthemboth.Theycould’vesavedthemandtheydidn’t.

Whyaretheytellingmethis?I’vehadenoughpainformanylifetimes,andnowthis.

“Wedidsavethem,Faith.”
As I’m processing what Cyndi just said, the doors open again and my grandparents walk in. My

legsgiveoutandIfalltothefloor.TearsIdidn’tknowIhadleftinmearefallingdownmycheeks.
Theyrushtomeandhugmefrombothsidesastheycry.

I’mfinallyabletostandenoughtogetbackinmychairandthenwetalk.Forhoursjusttalking,my

motherandgrandparentsandI.Wetalkandhugandkiss.I’msoluckytohaveasecondchance.With
allofthem.

***

Gavin

I waited for Faith for hours. I don’t know what was going on, but I can’t believe she wouldn’t at

leastsendsomeonetotellmesomething.Anything.AllAlexwouldsaywasthatsomethingwonderful
was happening. I even stayed after she left, telling me which button to press to call someone if I
neededsomething.IjustneededFaith.

I finally left when I was so hungry I could’ve eaten my own arm. I pressed the button and told

whoever answered that Faith would need a ride back to her car. I left and drove back to the hotel I
checkedintothedayaftereverythingwentdown.Icouldn’tstayinthathouseforanotherminute.

I’mwaitingforroomservicerightnow.Igrabbedasaladdownstairs,butIwantafullmeal.Andto

bealone.Thesaladtooktheedgeoffmyhunger,whileawarmshowerwithsomehandactiontook
theedgeoffmylibido.

AsIsliponsomegymshorts,there’saknockatmydoor.Igrabsomecashforatipandopenit.It’s

notroomservice,though.It’sFaith.

“Youleft.Youpromisedtostay,andyouleft,”shesaysasshewalkspastmeintothesuite.
I can’t do this. I just can’t. I waited there for a long time while she did God knows what without

evengettingamessagetome.“Istayedalongtime,Faith.”

“Iwasn’tawarethattherewasatimelimitonhowlongyou’dbetherefor.”
“I was starving since I hadn’t eaten anything but a couple bites of my breakfast. And I felt like a

fool, okay? I mean I was there for hours and you couldn’t even send someone out to tell me
something?Anything?”

“I…I.”Shestopsandlooksaway.
Whatevershecouldn’tsaycan’tbegood.Ineedtohearit,though.Therecan’tbeanyothersecrets

betweenus.

“Youwhat?Justspititout.”
“Iforgotyouwerethere.I’msorry.”
IreelbacklikeIwaspunched.BecauseitfeelslikeIwas.What.The.Holy.Fuck.Sheforgotme?

I’msuchanidiot.

“Getout.”
“What?LetmeexplainGavin.Please.”
“You just admitted that you fucking forgot me. I offered you everything I have to give, and you

forgotme.”

“Ihadagoodreason.”
“You’rereallyjustmakingitworse.PleaseleaveorI’llcallsecuritytoremoveyou.”
“Iloveyou.”
“GoodbyeFaith.”

***

Faith

ItakeoutmyphoneasIwalkbacktotheelevator.TheroomservicepersongetsoffasIgeton.I

seehimabouttoknockforGavinasthedoorsclose.StellaanswersasIexitintothelobby.

“Hey.Whatareyoudoingcallingme?Youshouldbeinbedwithyourman.”
“Canyoupickmeup?Ican’tdriverightnow.”

“OfcourseI’llcomegetyou.Whereareyou?”
“RedRock.”
“Okay,honey.I’llbethereinten.Justwaitinsideforme.It’sgoingtobealright.You’llbealright.”
“No.Ireallywon’t,”Itellherbeforehangingup.
Shepicksmeup,andIslumpagainstthedoorwhileshedrivesushome.Iknowshewantstotalk,

butshealsoknowsI’lltellherwhenI’mready.Whichisnotnow.

Whenwewalkintomyapartment,I’mnotsurprisedtoseepeoplealreadythere.Well,I’malittle

surprisedtoseetheguys.ButIwasexpectingthegirls.

Reinaapproachesmefirst.“Whathappened,Faith?”
“Gavin.”It’sallIcansay.AllIcangetoutrightnow.
“Isadeadman,”MattsaysashegesturestothedoorwhileNateandAidenjumpuptofollowhim.
“No,Matt.It’smyfaultthathehatesme.It’sallmyfault.Ihurthim.”
“Whatcouldyouhavepossiblydonethat’ssobad?”
“Iaccusedhimoflyingtomewhenhesaidhe’dwaitformetofinishattheFoundation.Andwhen

hetoldmethatheleftbecausehewashungry,andnoonehadtoldhimanythingforallthehourshe
waited,I…ItoldhimI’dforgottenhewasthere.”

“Shit.Iknowyouwereexcitedtoseeyourgrandparents.Butstill.Youforgotthathewasthere?”

Mattasksme.

“HedidsomuchformetodayandIjustshatteredhim.”
“You’reright.It’sbad.”
“Nothelping,Matt.”
“What?Youwantmetolietoherandtellherit’scoolthatshetoldtheguysheforgothimafterhe

gotherbacktogetherwithallofus,Princess?”

“Ofcoursenot.Butweneedtohelphercomeupwithaplantogethimbackinsteadoffocusingon

whatshedid.”

“YouthinkIcangethimback?”
“Helovesyou,Faith.He’smorethanprovedthat.Youjustneedtoprovethatyoulovehimback.”
“Ihaven’treallydonethat,haveIRei?”
“No,honey.Idon’tthinkso.”
WespendthenextfewhoursthinkingupandrejectingplanswhileeatingpizzaMatthasdelivered

for all of us. There’s something wrong with every scenario we think of. I don’t know what we’re
missing,butnothingisclicking.Ifinallytelleveryonetogohomeandgetsomesleep.Itrytotake
myownadvice,butallIcanthinkofisGavinandhowmuchI’vehurthim.Mybodyfinallyoverrules
mymind,andIpassoutasthesun’scomingup.

CHAPTER16

Faith

I’matlunchwithmymomandgrandparents.I’mtryingtopretendthateverything’sokay,becauseI

amtrulyhappytobeherewithallofthem.ButlastnightIshatteredmyheartalongwithGavin’s.I
don’tevenknowwhattoordersincenothingsoundsappetizingtome.

“TellusmoreaboutyourGavin?”Mygrandmothersaystome.
“He’snotmineanymore,Grandmother.”
“What?Janetoldushebroughtyoubacktothem,andthathisloveforyouisverygreat.”
“Ihurthimyesterday,andnowhehatesme.”
“Icouldneverhateyou,Faith.”
Iturnandseehimstandingbehindme.Igetoutofmychairandfacehim.“Wh-whatareyoudoing

here,Gavin?”

“Yourgrandfathercalledmethismorningandaskedmetojoinyouforlunch.”
Ithoughtitwasweirdthattherewasanextraplacesetting,butIjustfiguredthewaiterwouldtakeit

whenweordered.I’mconfusedabouthowmygrandfathergothisphonenumber,andwhyhecalled
him,though.Iturntolookathim.

“Grandfather?”
“Your friend Stella called this morning. She explained everything to me and gave me Gavin’s

phone number. I called him, and after his initial shock, he understood why you were distracted
yesterday.”

“Don’tsugarcoatwhatIdid.Itwashorrible.”
Gavinturnsmebacktohimandliftsmychin.“Yesitwas.ButIshould’veletyouexplaininsteadof

allowingmywoundedpridetoruleme.”

“Iwassoexcitedtoseethatmygrandparentswerealiveandknowthatmymomreallylovesme,

butthat’snoexcuse,Gav.YounevergaveuponmeandweresittinginthelobbyforhourswhileI
forgotyouwerethere.”

“AndthenIleft.Afterpromisingtostay.Ishould’vejustorderedsomething.”
“No. Don’t you dare try and take any blame for yesterday. That was all me. Will you give me

anotherchancetoprovehowmuchIloveyou?”

“Always.AndI’msorryIdidn’tsayIloveyoubacklastnight.Iwasupset,butIwasreallymadat

myselffornotsayingit.”

“Soyoustilldo?”
“Yes,Faith.Iloveyou.”
“Nowthatthisisallsettled,sitdownandgetcomfortable.IhavesomequestionsforGavin,andI’m

sureyourgrandparentsdoaswell,”mymomsays.

“Iamtoooldforyoutobeinterrogatingmyboyfriend.”IstopandswingmyheadtowhereGavin

hassatdownonmyleftside.Ishouldn’thavecalledhimmyboyfriendbecauseIdon’tknowifwe’re
backtothatyet.

“I’mhappytobeinterrogatedbymygirlfriend’sfamily.So,hitmewithyourfirstquestion.”

“IthinkIlikehimalready.C’monnow,Ididn’tgettointerrogateyourhighschoolboyfriends,so

I’mmakingupforlosttime.”

“Ohno.Rules.Ihaverules.Notalkingaboutex-boyfriends.Imean,Ihaveenoughpressureonme

to wow all of you at the moment. And you should also know that I plan to be the last guy you
interrogate.That’sall.Carryon.”

We all burst out laughing. By the time lunch is over, Gavin has won over everyone. My

grandparents give me their nod, and my mother whispers in my ear. As for me, I’m still swooning
insideoverthefactthatheatehiswholemealleft-handedinordertoholdontomyhand.I’mnotsure
lifecouldgetmuchbetterthanthis.

Myfamilysaystheirgoodbyestousatthedoortotherestaurant,andthenGavinwalksmetomy

car.“Doyouwanttocomeover?”

“Ido,butIcan’t.Ihaveameetingtogetto.I’llcallyoulater,though.”
“Okay.”
Ileanuptokisshim,buthegivesmehischeekinstead.Ipressmylipstohisstubbleandgetinto

thecar.Heclosesmydoorandwaves.Heneverwavesatme.Thisissonotgood.

***

Gavin

WhenFaith’sgrandfathercalledmethismorning,Iwassorelieved.Itotallyunderstoodwhyshe

was so distracted yesterday. It still sucked that she forgot me, but I get it. I thought everything was
goingwellatlunch,too.Untilwewereleavingtherestaurantandhermotheraskedmetocomeoutto
their Christmas celebration in Los Angeles. Faith gave her an answer that pretty much ripped my
batteredheartbackintoshreds.

Ireallydohaveameeting,andIforcemyselftofocusonthatinsteadofdwellingonFaith.“Thanks

for coming everyone,” I tell them as I show the school district people around the warehouse. I’m
planningtoconvertitintothecookingschool.It’sonlyacoupleofblocksfromThreeSquare,which
isperfect.AtleastIthinkitis.

Imanagetostayonmygame,andIcantelleveryone’simpressed.Growingupasthesonofpublic

figureshelpssometimes.ExceptwhenIrememberthatthepubliclifehelpeddestroymyfamily.Then
itsucks.

AsI’mwalkingbacktomycar,myphonerings.It’sanunknownnumber,butIansweritanyway.

“Hello.”

“HiGavin,it’sZack.AinsleyandIarehavingasmallpre-Christmasgettogethertonight.Wewere

hopingyoucouldcome.”

“Idon’tthinkso.Butthanksforinvitingme,man.”
“Umm,listenman.Ainsleysaidtotellyouthatyouhadbetterbehereorshe’sgoingtofreezeall

yourbankaccounts.”

“IguessI’llseeyouinacoupleofhoursthen.”
“Yeah.Sorry.”
“It’scool.”
“Letmegiveyoutheaddress.It’satourcabinonMt.Charleston.”
Hegivesmethedirections,andIhangup.IgobacktothehotelandtakeanapsinceIdidn’tsleep

thatmuchlastnight.ImakesuretodresswarmlywhenIwakeupbecausetheweatherreportsaysit’s
snowinglightlyonthemountain.JustanaddedbonustoallthefunI’mexpectingtohave.

I get up the mountain and follow Zack’s directions to a winding driveway that ends at a cool

looking “cabin” made of wood and lots of windows. Only one other truck is in the driveway, so I
makesuretoparktothesidesoeveryoneelsehasroom.Iruntothedoorsincethesnowisactually
comingdownalittlehardernow.ThedooropensbeforeIcanringthebell.It’snotZackorAinsley
though,andIknowthisisn’tgoingtobethepartyIwasexpecting.

“Hi,Gav.Comeinandgetoutofthecold.”
“Isanyoneelsecoming,Faith?”
“No.It’sjustus.”
“Ishouldgo.”
“Thingsweregoingsowellatlunchandthenyouweresocold.Willyouatleastcomeinandtell

mewhy?”

“Youreallydon’tknow?”
“No,Idon’t.”
Istormpastherintothehouse.“Inevertookyouforself-centered,butyourbehavioroverthelast

coupleofdaysreallymakesmethinkyouare.”

“Gee,thanks.ItmakesmeallwarmandfuzzytohearthemanIlovecallmeself-centered.”
“Icouldcallyoumuchworse.”
“Goaheadthen.Don’tholdback.”
“Imean,firstyouforgotme.Iknowyouwerefindingoutyourgrandparentswerealive,but,still.I

waitedforhoursinthatlobbylikesomefuckinglovesickidiot.Youdidn’teventhinkaboutlettingme
share in your happiness. I was just some guy who drove you there. And then today just reinforced
howyoureallyfeel—thatyou’reashamedofme.”

“Ashamedofyou?Areyouinsane?Whatareyoueventalkingabout?”
“Mymotherkilledmyfather,Faith.Andsoldstatesecretswhileworkingwithatrulyevilwomanto

tryandhurtyou.”

“Iknowthat.”
“ThenwhywouldyoutellyourmotherthatI’dratherspendChristmaswithmyfamilythangoout

toL.A.andspenditwithyours?”

Hereyesgowide,andhermouthdropsopen.“I-I…itwasjust…Ithought…Ididn’t.”
I’mreallyangry,Ihavetohelpherout.Becausedespiteeverything,mytatteredheartstilllovesher.

“Breathe,Faith.Breathe.”

Shetakesafewdeepbreathswithhereyesclosed.Whensheopensthemagain,they’reshiningwith

tears.Imotionforustositdownonthecouchfacingoneofthewallsofwindows.

“Ididn’twantyoutofeelobligatedtogowithme.It’sgoingtobeawkwardeventhoughwe’reall

tryingtopretendthatthisisallnormal.Ihaven’tbeenaroundmymominalmosttwentyyears.Iknow
she wants a relationship—and I think I do, too—but it’s still hard. I wanted you to enjoy your
Christmasandnothavetobetakingcareofme.Isaidthefirstthingthatcametomymind.Whichwas
theworstthing.Ihonestlywasn’tthinkingandIamso,sosorryforthat.AndIdidwantyoutomeet
mygrandparents.OfcourseIwantedthat.Iwasjustfreakedoutandovercomebyeverything.”

“Iwanttobewithyoueverywhere.Ifyoutrulywantme.IfIneedtotakecareofyou,Iwill.That’s

notachore.It’sjustmebeinginlovewithyou.”

“Iwantyouwithmeallthetime,too.AndIwanttotakecareofyou,too.I’vedoneabang-upjob

sofar,Iknow,butIwanttodobetter.”

“You’vehadalottodealwith.”
“Sohaveyou.Andwehaven’teventalkedaboutyourmom.”
“Ifwe’regoingtodothat,Ineedyoutocomeoverhereandletmeholdyou.”

Sheimmediatelymovesovertomeandsnugglesintomyarms.Ifeelbetteralready.Evenmoreat

peaceasIfeelherheartbeatmatchingmine.

“Well,youalreadyknowthatJaneandImetwithherandgothertoagreetoforgetwhatshesaw

youdobypromisinghernojailtimeandfivemilliondollarsperyear.”

“Whatareyoutalkingabout?”sheasksasshepullsawayalittletolookatme.
“Janedidn’ttellyou?”
“No.AndIcan’tletyoudothat.Sheneedstobeinjail.”
“There’s not enough proof. I’ve got the money. It’s already done. I’m not going to say that the

wholesituationisgreatbecauseit’snot.Itsucks.Butnothing’sgoingtobringmydadback,andI’m
not willing to risk you by trying to take her down.” She starts to speak, but this time I’m the one
coveringhermouth.“Iknowyou’dsacrificeyourselftobringherdown,butIwouldratherknowthat
Icanwakeupnexttoyoueverydaywithouthavingtoworryaboutherexposingyou.Idon’twantto
talkaboutheranymore.Maybeinamonth,orayear,butnottonight.”

Shelooksmeintheeyebeforeleaningintokissme.Justalittlekiss.Thatleadstomanyasshe

makeseachonelastalittlelonger.IfinallygrabthebackofherheadandslantmylipsasIlickhers
open.Wekissforseveralminutesbeforeshepullsaway.

“Ihadawholeseductionplannedfortonight,butisitokayifyoujustholdme?IknowI’mnotina

positiontoaskyouforanything,butcanwejustsleep?”

“Youcanalwaysaskmeforanything.Iwouldlovetoholdyoutonight.Aslongasyourhairison

mychest,ofcourse.”

“DoyouhatethatIcutit?”
“Notatall.Icanstillwrapmyhandinitlikethis,andpullitwhenyou’rebeingbad.”Itugalittle

whileshelaughs.

“WhataboutwhenI’mbeinggood?”
Itwistmyhandandpullhard,exposinghernecktomymouthandtongue.ShemoansasIlickand

suckforafewminutes.“That’swhatI’lldowhenyou’regood.”

“Goodtoknow.WillyoueatsomeofthedinnerIcooked?”
“I’ll never say no to your cooking, but you should’ve waited for me. We could’ve cooked

together.”

“I-Ihadtodoitonmyown.”
“Faith?”
“Istoppedcookingwhen…well,after.”
“Thisisthefirsttimeyou’vecookedsinceeverythingwentdown?”
“Yeah.It’sjustachickencasserole.”
“Thebestchickencasseroleever.Takemetomyfood,woman.”
Shelaughs,andallthetensionisgonefromher.“Youbettercleanyourplate,ortomorrow’sjusta

snugglingday,too.”

“AndI’dbejustfinewiththatifthat’swhatyoudecideyouneed.”
Thechickencasseroleisprettydamngood,especiallywithFaithsittingonmylap.Wefeedeach

otherandkissuntilbothourplatesareclean.Ihelphercleanupandgiveheralingeringkissnextto
thesink.

“Let’sgetreadyforbedandsomesnuggling.Igivegoodsnuggleyouknow.”
“No, I don’t know. We’ve passed out the few times we spent the night together. There was no

snuggling.”

“Thosewerevery,veryamazingnights,butyou’reinforarealtreattonight.I’mgoingtosnuggle

yousohardyou’llforgetwhereIendandyoustart.”

“We’llseeaboutthat.”

“Feel.We’llfeelit,Faith.”
“Dork.”
“Sexygoddess.”
“Ijustinsultedyou.”
“Iknow.”
Webothlaughaswegointothebedroomandundress.Faithtellsmeshebroughtmesomeclothes.

There’ssomepajamapantsifIwantthem.ItellherI’mhappyinmyboxerbriefs.I’dhonestlyrather
beinnothing,butIpromisedherI’djustholdhertonight.Tomorrow,allbetsareoff.

***

Faith

Gavinreallydoesgivegoodsnuggle.Forthefirsttimeinweeks,Ifeltsafeandlovedenoughto

havearestfulnight’ssleep.Restisn’twhat’sonmymindnow.It’sthesexybulgeinhisboxerbriefs.I
felthimniceandhardagainstmylegwhenIwokeup,andnowI’mreadytoplay.

I shove my hands in to free his cock and take it into my mouth as he wakes up. “Fuck, Faith. Oh

God.”

IsmilearoundhimasIlickandsuck.MyhandispumpinghisbaseasIrelaxmythroattotakehim

inasfaraspossible.Hishandsgotomyhairandstarttopull.Iusealittleteethandhepullsharder.

“You’resuchagoodgirl,Faith.YouknowjusthowIlikeit.Turnaroundandletmeplay,too.”
I move until I’m over him. He pushes my nightgown up and hisses when he sees that I have no

pantieson.“You’reanevenbettergirlthanIfirstthought.I’mgoingtorewardyouforthis.”

BeforeIcanreact,heflipsusoversoI’monthebottomnow.Hegoestohiskneesovermeand

positions my ass on top of the pillows with my legs around his neck as he uses his own mouth,
tongue,andfingersonme.I’veneverdonethisinthispositionbefore,butit’sdefinitelydoingitfor
me.Itonlytakesafewminutesformetoscreamaroundhiscock.Andthenhe’sshootingeverything
hehasdownmythroat.Aswebothcomedown,herollsusagainsowe’renexttoeachother.

“Thanksfortheawesomewake-upcall.”
“Thankyouforthegoodsnuggling.”
“ItoldyouI’mgood.”
“Yeah,butI’mbetter.”
“Ohyeah,youdefinitelyare.”
“Doyouwanttogoplayinthesnow?”
“Onlyifwecanhaveasnowballfight.”
“You’dfightagirl?”
“I’llgetannihilatedbythesexiestwomanIknow,andloveeveryminuteofit.”
“Youhavethebestanswerssometimes.”
“Youinspireme.”
Wespendtherestofthedaytogether,havingthatsnowballfightwhereIdefinitelyannihilatedhim,

andbreakingineveryroomandsurfaceinthiscabin.WhichIlethimknowismine,andnotZack’s.
Lateatnight,afterwe’vecookedagreatmealtogether,wecuddleonthecouchwithhotchocolateto
watchthesnowcomedownoutside.WetalkaboutourtriptoL.A.andhetellsmeallabouthisproject
with the school district. I let him know that I want to help in between missions. Unlike Ainsley and
Tegan—whoassistwithalmosteverymission—mostofusdoworkwithwomenlocallyinbetween
assignments.I’llhaveplentyofextratimetoteachsomeclassesorjustassisthim.

Thesmileonhisfaceiswortheverythingwehadtogothroughinordertogettothisplace.Iknow

withoutadoubtthateverything’sgoingtobemorethanokaywithus.Itreallydoesn’tgetanybetter
thanthis.

EPILOGUE

Stella

Gavin’spartyisstartingsoon.He’sshowingoffthekitchenfacilityhehadtheGriffinsbuildforhis

newculinaryschool.IwasdressedandreadywhenReinacalledtotellmethatsheandJaneneeded
metocomeintotheoffice.Iknowtheywouldn’tcallmeunlessitwasimportant,soofcourseIcame.

IwalkintoReina’sofficeandthendropmyclutchonthefloorwithasqueal.“Mom,”IyellasIhug

her.“Whatareyoudoinghere?”

“Ineedyourhelp.”
“Ofcourse.Anything.What’sgoingon?”
“Haveaseat,Stell,andI’lltellyou.”
Idoassheasks,lookingoveratReina.Sheshakesherheadatme.Theydon’tknowwhyshe’shere

either.We’llhelpher,though.There’snodoubtinmymind.

“Asyouknow,I’vebeenworkingforStorysidethispastyear.”
“They’rethatboybandallovertheTV,right?”
“Yes,Reina.WhenIstartedwiththem,theywerejuststartingtogetnoticed.Inthelastfewmonths,

they’vesurpassedOneDirectionasthemostpopularboybandontheplanet.”

“Issomethingwrongwiththem?”
“Notallofthem.JustKaceReynolds.He’sthemostpopularoftheboys,andhasalwaysbeenthe

sweetest, until the last month. He’s started acting out. He causes trouble on photo shoots and
appearances, and has even bad mouthed some of the more vocal fans who’ve criticized him. His
motherisdistraught,andthemanagementteamisbesidethemselves.”

“Can’ttheyjustkickhissorryassoutoftheband?Therehastobesomeclause.”
“Thereisaclause.Manyinfact.Butdespitehisbadbehavior—ormaybebecauseofit—he’sstill

themostpopular.Thecashcow,sotospeak.”

“Howdoyouthinkwecanhelp?”Janeasks.
“As I said, his mother is distraught. She raised him as a single parent, and his one goal when he

made it big was to take care of her. She goes everywhere with us, even though Kace is twenty one
now.Shetoldmeyesterdaythatshesawhimcrumpleupapieceofpaperandthrowitout.Becausehe
didn’tknowshewasthere,shewasabletograbitoutofthetrashcan.Hereitis.”

Mymomhandsusthepaper.
Tomorrow you will make a scene at the culinary school opening the band is attending. Remember

thatifyoutrytotellanyone,ordon’tdowhatIsay,I’llhavethepicturestothemediawithinthehour.

There’snosignatureandnothingdistinguishingontheplainwhitecopypaper.“Soitlookslikehe

hasnochoiceinhisbehavior.Someoneelseiscallingtheshots.”

“Yes,Stella.ItallmakessensebecauselikeIsaid,Kacewasalwaysrespectfulandsweetinthepast.

He’sturnedintoahorribleyoungman,butitseemshehasnochoice.”

“Whatevertheyhaveonhimhastobeprettybad.We’llofcoursehelp,butwhatdidyouhavein

mind?”

“IneedStellatocomeworkwithme—thebandissobignowthatnoonewillthinkit’sunusualfor

ustohaveanotherstylist.Andthey’reabouttostartaspecialtwomonthresidencyhereinVegas.”

“Icandothat.”
“It’snotaseasyasmehiringyou,though.Theboysallagreedtobeinchargeonefacetoftheir

careersearlyon.Soit’sintheircontractstohavethefinalsayforhiringinwhateverareatheychose.”

“Okay.Icancharmsomeone.Who’soverstyle?”
“Kace.”
“Andhe’llbeatthepartytonight.”Anideastartstoform.“Icanbepartofthescenehecauses.”
“He’sgoingtohitonyou,Stella.”
“AndI’mgoingtoputhiminhisplace.”
“Orfallinlovewithhim.”
“What?Areyouinsane,Mom?I’mnotplanningonsettlingdownanytimesoon,andevenifIwas,

itwouldn’tbewithsomejailbaitboybander.”

“He’sgorgeous,kind-heartedwhenhe’snotbeingblackmailed,andworshipshismother.”
“SoarehalftheguysIfu—Imean,sleepwith.”
“Don’t tone down your personality, even with me around. I’ve heard it all, and I need you to be

yourself.It’sgoingtopullhimin.Whenyou’reascloseasyoufeelcomfortablewith,youcanwork
onearninghistrust.”

“Areyousureyoudon’twantajobherebecauseIthinkyoujustdidmine.”
“No,Reina.I’mnotcutoutforintrigueonadailybasis.That’sforyouandmyamazingdaughter

andherfriends.”

“Weshouldheadtotheparty.Idon’twanttobetoolate.NotjustbecauseofKace,butalsobecause

FaithandGavinhaveworkedhardforthis.”

Everyoneagrees,andwealltakeofffortheparty.Iwashopingtohavefuntonight.NowI’mgoing

tobebabysittingalittleboy.Sotheoppositeoffun.

***

Kace

Whoever ’s pulling my strings is one fucked up bastard. This school is going to be helping

underprivilegedkids.Thefocusshouldbeonthat,notsomethingIhavetocookupinordertomakea
scene.ThemediaalreadythinksI’manasshole.HowmuchfurtherdoIhavetogo?

IseeSheila,ourstylist,walkin.Istarttolookaway,butdoadoubletakewhenIseethebombshell

standing next to her. There is no other way to describe her. Bomb-fucking-shell. She has platinum
blondehairpulledintoasidebunwithsomecurlystrandshangingdown.Herlipsarethereddestof
reds,andherblackleatherdressandstrappyheelsmakemewanttodovery,verybadthingstoher.
Thingsthatwe’dbothlike,andwouldmakeherscreammynameallnight.

I’m still contemplating how to make my move when Sheila spots me and starts heading my way.

Withtheblonde.AndhereIthoughtthisnightwasgoingtosuck.Well,maybeshewill.

“Kace,Iwantedyoutomeetmydaughter,Stella.”
“HiStella.”
“Hello,Kace.”
“Oh,Ijustremembered,Iactuallyneedtogotalktothemayor.Youtwowillbefinewithoutme,

won’tyou?”

“Yes,Mom.Gohavefun.”

She walks away and I put my best smile on for sexy Stella. It’s the one that makes panties drop

aroundtheworld.Shestartslaughing,actuallylaughing.Whatthefuck?

“Doesthatsmileactuallyworkforyou,littleboy?”
“Yes.Itdoes.Youknowyouwantapieceofthis.Ofme.Icouldhaveyouscreamingallnight.”
“Youcouldn’thandleme.”
“Mycock’sneverhadacomplaint,andithasasurprise.”
“Letmeguess,youpiercedyourcock,didn’tyou?I’vebeenthere,donethat.Sothat’snothooking

me,either.”

“AndIhavethis.”
Iliftthehemofmydressshirttoshowherahintofthesharkbelowmybellybutton.
“Youneedtopullyourpantsup.It’sreallynotattractivewhenyoubabiesshowoffmostofyour

underwear.Ahintpeekingoutofyourjeans—that’shot.Saggypantsandjeansarenot.”

“You’reabitch.”
“Thanks.”
“Iwasn’tcomplimentingyou.”
“Yes,youwere.Youjustdidn’tknowit.”
“Idon’tevenknowwhattosaytoyou.”
“Good.I’mtiredofyour‘lines.’Ifyouwanttotalktome,talktome.Don’ttrytobesexy.Idon’t

fuckbabies,sothat’snotgoingtohappenbetweenus.Wecouldbefriends,though,ifyoucanjusttry
tospeaktomelikeapersonwithabrain.Andstopstaringatmytits.”

HowamIsupposedtoignorethem?Herdressisanofftheshoulderstylethat’stightwithazipper

downthefront.Shehasthezipperpulleddownalittle,andherpresentsarepracticallybeggingfor
mytongue.

“Youshouldzipyourdressupifyoudon’twantmelooking.”
“Ididn’tsayyoucouldn’tlook.Justnotallthetime.”
“Idon’tgetyou.”
“Doyouwantto?”
“Yeah,Ido.”
“Thenhiremeasyoursecondstylist.I’lldressyousexyenoughtodrawthechicksin.AndthenI’ll

impartmywisdomwithyousoyoucankeepthemforlongerthanafewhours.”

“MaybeIdon’twantthemformorethanafewhours.”
“You’reyoung.Youshouldhavethestaminaforallnight.”
“Withyou,IbetIcouldgofordays.”
“We’llneverfindout.”
“I’llmakeyouadeal.I’llhireyouaslongasyoupromisetogivemeafairchancetogetyouinto

mybed.I’llevenletyouimpartallyourwisdom.”

“Deal.”
“AndIhavetotellyou,I’mreallysorryaboutthis.”
Beforeshecanreact,Idropmydrinkandgrabherzipper,pullingitdowntoherwaist.Hertitsare

barelyencasedinaredlacebra,andhernipplesarealreadyhardbeforeIgrabahandfulofeachone.
Ikissherhardandshefightsme.Itdoesn’tlastlong.

I’m tackled from the side and go down hard. When I look up, Zack Taylor from the Legions is

standingaboveme.Helookslikehewantstokillme.

“Youjustputyourhandsonthewrongwoman,asshole.”
“She’swithyou?Ithoughtyouhadthatlittlenerdychickinyourbed.”
Hepullsbackhishand,buthisfiancégrabshisarm.“Youhaveagametomorrow,Zack.He’snot

worthit.”

“No he isn’t,” Stella adds, as she finishes zipping up her dress to glare down at me. “He’s just a

littleboywhocan’tcontrolhimself.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Stella. Make sure to wear something sexy for your first day of work,” I

yelltoherassecuritydragsmeout.

IkeepthecockygrinonmyfaceuntilIgetinsidethelimo.ThenIholdmyheadinmyhands.Ihad

todothat.Ihadto.ButnowI’veruinedanychanceImayhavehadwithStella.Andthat’sjustaboutas
fucked-upasitcanget.

ReadmoreaboutStella&Kacein

DevouringtheSecret,outFebruary2015!

Turnthepageforasneakpeek

ofthenewbookbymygoodfriend,

AlisonPackard,outnow!

HEARTSONFIRE

CountrymusicstarJessieGranthasitall.Anamazingvoice,astringofmulti-platinumalbums,anda
sold-outconcerttour.ButjustbeforeherHeartsonFiretourrollsintoLasVegas,herleadguitaristis
badlyinjuredandisunabletoplay.Desperatetofindareplacementbeforethenightofatelevisedlive
show,Jessieisforcedtoaccepthelpfromthelastpersononearthshewantstoseeagain.

DrewCarmichaelhasearnedawell-deservedreputationasoneofthebestup-and-comingmusicians
inNashville,withoutcashinginonhisrenownedfather ’sname.WhenJessie’smanagercallsandasks
himtofillinforherband’sinjuredguitarplayer,heagreestohelpJessieouteventhoughshecuthim
outofherlifefourmonthsago.

InSinCity,sparksflybetweenJessieandDrew,anditisn’tlongbeforetheygiveintotheirmutual
attraction.ButwhenthedarkpastJessiehassuccessfullyhiddenfortenyearsexplodesinthemedia,
theirtenuousbondisputtothetest,andbothJessieandDrewmustlearntotrusteachotherifthey
don’twanttheirnewfoundromanticrelationshiptogoupinflames.

ChapterOne

JessieGrantstaredatthecheeryyellowwallinherdressingroom,andfoughttheoverwhelming

urgetothrowsomething.Anything.Heragitatedgazefellonthelovelyvaseofflowersthathadbeen
delivered just before the show, and she had to remind herself that violence, especially towards a
perfectlyinnocentbouquetofpinkrosesandwhitecallalilies,wouldn’tsolveanything.

Butthenagain,itmightrelievethetensionthatwascoiledinsideofherlikeatightlywoundspring.
“Calmdown.”
“Calmdown?”Jessiewhirledaroundandmettheexasperatedeyesofhermanager.“Youexpectme

tocalmdownwhenmyguitarplayer,who,unbeknownsttome,washalf-wastedduringourset,and
decided to stage dive into the audience.” She pointed a finger at him. “That broken arm of his isn’t
gonnatohealinfourdays.Ineedanotherguitarplayer,andIneedonenow.”

“Relax,”WallyLindellsaidinasoothingvoice.“I’mworkingonit.”
“Howareyouworkingonit?”
Sheproppedherhandsonherhipsandgavehimherbestglacialstare.Itdidn’tfazehim.Itnever

did.He’dbeenhermanagersinceshewasfifteenyearsold,andheknewherbetterthananyone.Sohe
shouldhaveknownthatshewouldbetotallyfreakedoutaboutlosingherleadguitarplayerfourdays
beforeherexclusivegiginLasVegas,afterall,hewastheonewhohaddubbedheraperfectionist.

“IputinacalltoDrew.”
Jessie’salreadychurningstomachlurchedwildly.“DrewCarmichael?”
“HowmanyotherguitarplayersnamedDrewdoyouknow?”Wallyshotherawise-assgrin.
Onlyone.
“Soyoutalkedtohim?”sheasked,asshemovedtothemake-uptable.Shepickedupthebottleof

waterherstylisthadleftoutforherandtookasip.Maybethesimpletaskwouldsootheherfrayed
nerves.

Itdidn’tevencomeclose.
“Whatdidhesay?”
“Ilefthimamessage.Hehasn’tcalledmebackyet.”Wallyshovedhishandsintothefrontpockets

ofhisblackjeansandlookedherstraightintheeyeswithanunflinchingdirectness.

She’d seen that look before; the one telling her that while she might be the star, he was the one

who’dgottenherthere,andbeforeshewentoffhalf-cocked,she’dbetterlethimhavehissay.Andof
course,shewould.SherespectedWallyfartoomuchnottolistentohim.

“He’stheonlyguitarplayerwecangetonsuchshortnoticethatknowsyoursetlist,”hecontinued.

“Idon’tknowwhathappenedbetweenthetwoofyou,butwhateveritis,youneedtoputitasidefor
thesakeofthisgig,andmaybetherestofthetour.”

“Whatmakesyouthinksomethinghappened?”sheaskedwithfeignednonchalance.
Itwasbestnottoletanyone,especiallyWally,knowhowmuchshecaredaboutDrew.
“Becauseyoutwowereasthickasthieveslastspring,andnowit’slikehe’sdroppedoffthefaceof

theearth.Didyouhaveafallingout?”

“No.”Jessiescowled,asshereturnedthebottletothetable.“Wedidn’thaveafallingout.I’vebeen

ontheroadformonthsnowandhe…he’sgotalife.”

Alifethatdidn’tincludeher.

“Jessie,”Wallybegan,inhismostpatienttone.“Idon’tknowwhatyourbeefwithDrewis,butwe

need him. We’re leaving for Las Vegas tomorrow morning. Do I need to remind you that CMT is
broadcastingyourconcertliveonFridaynight?”

“No.”Shegrimaced.“Youdon’tneedtoremindme.CMThasbeenwonderfultome.Weneedto

putonagreatshowforthem,andformyfans.”

“ThenweneedDrew.YouknowitaswellasIdo.”
Wally was right. They were in for a world of hurt, and Drew was the logical solution to their

problem.Butshedidn’thavetolikeit.

“I’mnotsurehe’lldoit.”
“He’safineyoungman.Whenhefindsoutthepicklewe’rein,I’msurehe’llcomethrough.”
“If he agrees to do it, then it’s okay with me.” Jessie sighed, as she plopped down on the padded

stoolinfrontofthetable.

Shepluckedamake-upremovaltowelettefromtheplasticpackageonthecountertop,andbeganto

wipethestagefoundationfromherfacewithbrisk,controlledstrokes.

Outoftheblue,tearsswaminhereyes.Mortified,sheblinkedandavertedherfacebeforeWally

couldseethem.Shedidn’twanthimtoknowhowmiserableshewas,orhowhumiliatedshe’dbeen
onthenightshe’dshowedupatDrew’sapartment,readytoconfessherfeelingsforhim,onlytofind
himwithhisex-girlfriend,who’dbeenwearingnothingbutadamntowel.

Ithadbeenyearssinceshe’dconsideredopeningupherhearttoaguy,andthatnighthadbeena

starkreminderofwhy—she’dneverbeenthegirlworthchoosing.

“I’lltryhimagain,”Wallysaid,ashepulledhisphonefromthepocketofhisleatherjacketandleft

thedressingroom.

Jessiestaredblanklyatherreflectionasshemethodicallycleansedtheremainderofthemake-up

from her face. A minute or so later, her skin was bare, but instead of Jessie Grant, the glamorous,
award-winning, multi-platinum country recording star, all she saw was Mary Ellen Dickson, a
bedraggledandhomelessgirlfromMississippi,who’dfallenforaguysounattainable,hemightas
wellhavebeenonMars.

Anddidn’tthatjustsuck?

Asusual,theMusicCitySaloonwasfilledtocapacity.DrewCarmichaellookedoutatthecrowd

fromhispositionbehindthebar.Onthestage,directlyacrossfromthebar,adarkhairedwomansat
onawoodenstoolandstrummedherguitar,asshesangaplaintivesongoflostloveandyearning.As
thehauntingballadwashedoverhim,hecouldn’thelpbutthinkofanotherravenhairedbeauty.One
whohadmanagedtoworkherwayunderhisskinwithouthimevenrealizingit.

Shakingofftheimageofherbeautifulface,hepickedupacrateofemptybeerbottlesandheaded

for the back. The mouth-watering aroma of burgers sizzling on the grill triggered a growl in his
stomach.Heignoredit.Forthemomentanyway.Hisshiftwouldsoonbeover,andhisfirstorderof
businesswouldbetochowdownononeofClyde’sginormousbaconcheeseburgers.

HenoddedatCherry,oneoftheMC’swaitresses,whowasheadingintheoppositedirectionwith

threeplatesbalancedinherhands,andtriednottofocusonhowhungryhewasashedepositedthe
crate alongside the other empties near the back door of the kitchen. As he stood up, his phone
vibrated.HepulleditoutofhisbackpocketandcheckedthecallerID.

Foramomentheconsiderednottakingthecall.Hehadn’tansweredtheoneearlier,butnowhewas

curious.WhywasWallycallinghim?HadJessiegottenherselfintoajam?Thatdidn’tseemlikely.
Eversinceshe’dleftNashvilleforherHeartsonFiretour,she’dbeenworkinghardandgettingrave
reviews everywhere she played. According to the cover of the gossip rag he’d seen at the small

marketbyhisapartmentcomplexlastnight,shewassupposedlydatingaprofessionalbaseballplayer,
ormaybeitwasafootballplayer,Drewwasn’tquitesurewhich.

Hehatedthefactthathenowknewsolittleaboutherlifethathehadtogoonlineandsearchforher

concertreviews,orwatchCMTinthehopesofcatchingaglimpseofoneofhervideos.Healsohated
thefactthathewasnolongermakingmusicwithher.Butwhathehatedmostofallwasthefactthathe
only realized how much she meant to him after she’d cooled their friendship and used her concert
tourasameansofdistancingherselffromhim.

And because he was starving to hear something—anything—about her, he answered his phone.

“Hey,Wally.”

“Drew.ThankGodyouanswered,son.”
“What’s going on?” he asked, as he immediately picked up the strain in Wally’s usually jovial

voice.“IsJessieallright?”

“She’sfine.It’sKenny.Hebrokehisarmtonight.It’sbad.Realbad.”
Drewgrimaced.“Ohman.I’msorrytohearthat.”
“Weneedyou.”
Hedidn’thavetoaskwhatWallymeant.“DidyourunitbyJessie?”
“Yes. Although I like to pretend I’m in charge, she’s the boss. I don’t do anything without her

approval.”

“And you can’t get anyone else?” Drew gestured at Hannah as she rounded the corner, dodged a

waiter,andheadedtowardshim.

Judgingbythefactthatshe’dchangedoutofhernormalworkattireofjeansandaT-shirt,andinto

ashortprintdressthatshowedoffherslenderarmsandlegs,itwassafetoassumethatHannahwas
donewaitingtablesforthenight.

“Nooneelsewhoknowshersetlistaswellasyou.Wejustdon’thavetimetobreaksomeoneelse

in.Ifyousayyes,I’llhaveafirst-classticketwaitingforyouattheairportinthemorning,andyou
can meet us in Las Vegas tomorrow in time to start rehearsing. We’ll pay you double your normal
fee,and,ofcourse,you’llgetyourownroomatthehotel.”

“That’sverygenerous,”Drewsaid,ashereturnedHannah’stentativesmilewhenshehaltedinfront

ofhim.

“Well,you’reworthit,son.Andwecan’taffordtohaveanyproblems.CMTistelevisingtheshow.

Weneedtoberunnin’onallcylinders.Isurehopeyou’llagreetohelpusout.”

“I’llbethere.AfterwhatyouandJessiedidformewhenIneededajob,it’stheleastIcando.”
Wallyexpelledasighofrelief.“Iknewyouwouldn’tletusdown.We’restayingattheMGM.I’ll

emailyoueverythingyouneedtoknow.”

“Sounds like a plan. I’ll see you tomorrow,” Drew said. He hit the end call button on his phone

beforemeetingHannah’scuriouslightbrowneyes.“LookslikeI’mgoingtoVegas.”

“Whatfor?”sheasked,asshetuckedseveralloosestrandsofreddish-blondehairbehindherear.
“Kenny broke his arm.” He shoved his phone into his back pocket. “And Jessie needs a guitar

player.”

Herbrowsknittedtogether.“How’dhedothat?”
Drewshrugged.“Beatsme.Buttheyneedareplacementpronto.”
“Itmakessensethatthey’dcallyou.Youknowallhersongs.”Hannahreachedouttotouchhisarm.

“IgottheA-Okaytoleaveearlytonight.Cherry’sofferedtofinishmyshiftforme,andLeo’sgonna
drivemehomeafterwehavedinner,soIwon’tneedaridebacktomyplace.”

“Thanksforlettingmeknow,”hesaid,thengaveherhandanaffectionatepat.
One night, four months ago, when he’d been about as low and drunk as he’d ever been, he and

Hannah had slept together. She’d also been drinking and hurting over a recent break-up, and it had

just…happened.Thenextmorningtheyrealizedtheirmistake,andadmittedthattheirpasthighschool
romancehadmadeiteasyforthemtoturntoeachotherfordrunkencomfort.Butthatteenagelove
waslonggone,ithadturnedintofriendship,andtherewasnoromanticsparklefttobehad.Foreither
ofthem.Andnow,HannahhadLeo,andhehad…noone.

“Youallright?”Herforeheadfurrowedasshestudiedhimwithconcern.
Ofcourseshe’dbeabletotellthatsomethingwasoffwithhim.Hell,they’dknowneachothersince

theywereindiapers.

“Neverbetter,”hesaidwithasmileasfakeasthetitsCherryhadbeenshowingoffsinceherreturn

fromathree-weekvacation.

Hewasalonebychoice,andforagoodreason.Thoughsomedays,liketoday,thosereasonsdidn’t

givehimmuchcomfort,andtheydidn’thelphimtoforgetaboutthedevastatedlookinJessie’seyes
whenshe’dfoundHannahhalf-nakedinhisapartment.

He’d replayed that night in his head a million fucking times. And each time, the wounded

expressiononJessie’sfacesaidmorethanthewordsshehadn’tbeenabletoutter.

Drewliftedahandandrubbedhistemple.Ifonlyhecouldbetheguyshehadadmiredandputona

pedestal.Buthewasn’t,andbecauseofthat,he’dletherdownintheworstwaypossible.

“You know, I think helping Jessie will be good for you.” Hannah’s voice pulled him from his

thoughts.“You’vebeenmopingaroundhereformonthsnow.”

Drewfrowned.Wasitthatnoticeable?Shit.Hethoughthe’dbeendoingafinejobofhidinghistrue

feelings.Evidentlynot.

“I’vegotalotonmymind.”
“LikeJessie?”sheaskedsoftly.
“No,”Drewsnapped,annoyedbytheknowinggleaminhereyes.“Whydoyousaythat?”
Hannahshrugged.“Noreason.ForgetIsaidanything.”Shepaused.“Soyouleavetomorrow?”
“Yes.”Heglancedattheclockonthewall.“I’moffinanhour,andI’vegotsomevacationtimeon

thebooks.I’llclearitwiththebossbeforeIleave,thenI’llpacktonight,andcatchthefirstplaneto
Vegasinthemorning.”

The corners of her mouth twitched with amusement. “Don’t go doin’ something crazy, like get

hitched.Ihearthey’vegotaweddingchapeloneverycornerinthattown.”

He burst out laughing. “Trust me, marriage is the last thing on my mind. And the last time I

checked,Ididn’thaveagirlfriend.”

“Well,youneverknow.”
Hannahloopedherarmthroughhisastheyheadedtowardsthefront,wheretheguywhohadtaken

center stage was singing “When You Say Nothing at All” nowhere near as good as Keith Whitley
sangit.

“YoujustmightfindthegirlofyourdreamsinSinCity.”
Drewdidn’tbothertoreply.Hannahdidn’tneedtoknowshewasclosertothetruththannot.The

girlofhisdreamswouldbeinSinCitytomorrow.

Andsowouldhe.

Afewminutesbeforemidnight,Jessierummagedthroughherpurse,lookingforhercellphone.

Nikki had already packed up the stage clothes and make-up, and had just left with a couple of the
roadieswho,atthismoment,wereprobablyloadingherstagegearintothelargecargovanherroad
managerhadrentedtotransporttheirequipmentandinstrumentstoLasVegasin.Thedriverwould
headouttonightandmakeittoVegasintimeforrehearsalonTuesday.

JessieGrantmightbebilledasasoloact,buttherewasnothingsoloaboutputtingonashowlike

hersnightafternight.OtherthanWally,thebandwastheclosestthingshehadtofamily.They’dbeen

togetherforyears,andascloseasshewastothem,she’dalwaysheldapartofherselfback.Trusting
peoplewasdifficultforher.She’dlearnedalongtimeagonottocountonanyonestayingaroundfor
thelonghaul.

Finally,shefoundherphoneandreadthetwotextsfromWally.Thefirstonewastoremindherof

a conference call first thing tomorrow morning with the homeless shelter in Nashville, and the
second was to tell her he’d be there shortly to escort her to the limo waiting outside the Ravinia
Paviliontotakeherbacktothehotel.ThevenueinIllinois,wasoneshe’dplayedmanytimes.Shefelt
bad that the concert had been interrupted three-quarters of the way through when Kenny pulled his
stupidstage-divingstunt.Aftertheparamedicshadcartedhimofftothehospital,she’ddoneherbest
to finish the concert with her remaining band members, but both she and the band had been rattled,
unsure how badly Kenny had been injured. The crowd however, either didn’t notice, or didn’t care.
They’dfilledthepavilionwiththeirraucouschantsandcheersuntilshegavethemwhattheywanted
—asecondencore.

“Doyouhaveaminute?”
JessiealmostjumpedoutofherskinatthesoundofTristaCantrell’sslightlyexaggeratedSouthern

drawl.Herownexperienceatreinventingherselfnotwithstanding,itstruckJessieasoddthatTrista,
who’dlivedinupstateNewYorkuntilherrecentdiscoveryonarealitytelevisionshow,hadacquired
anaccentthickerthanthemajorityofNashville’snatives.

Assheslippedherphonebackintoherpurse,shelookedatTrista,whostoodnearthedoorthathad

been closed just seconds ago. Irritation bubbled up inside of her. Much like a cat, Trista had the
uncannyabilitytoappearoutofnowherewithoutmakingasound.Itwasdamnunsettling.

“Ididn’thearyouknock,”shesaid,tryingtokeepthebitchinessoutofhervoice.
“Idid.Twice.”Trista’svoiceheldahintofdefensiveness.
Jessiewasprettysureshehadn’t,butshewastootiredtoargue.ShesighedasshetookinTrista’s

longblondecorkscrewringlets,whichwerereminiscentofthehairstyleTaylorSwiftfavoredearly
in her career. The style had worked on tall, willowy Taylor, but on Trista, who couldn’t have been
more than five feet tall, the mass of hair overwhelmed her petite frame and made her appear even
shorter.

“IguessIdidn’thearyou.”Sheglancedatherwatch.“Ihaveafewminutes.Whatdidyouwantto

talkabout?”

“I’dliketoextendmysetbyfifteenminutes.IthoughtIshouldaskyoubeforetalkingtoWally.”
Jessie tilted her head and frowned. “With what songs? You already have an hour and you barely

haveenoughtofillthattimeslot.”

“IhavesomenewmaterialI’dliketotryout,”Tristasaid,withahopefulsmile.
Jessie hesitated before answering. Despite her recent television success, Trista was still a green

seventeen-yearoldkidwithonehitsongandanalbumthathadn’tevendroppedyet.Theonlyreason
sheandWallyagreedtoletTristaopentheshowwasbecauseTristawasrecentlysignedtothesame
label as Jessie, and the top brass wanted to get their new young protégé out on the road quickly in
ordertocapitalizeonhercurrentpopularitywiththeAmericanpublic—specificallythetweens—an
audiencethatattheripeoldageoftwenty-five,Jessiewasoutgrowing.Andiftherewasonethingshe
andWallyhadlearnedovertheyears,itwastoneverpissofftheheadhonchosatthelabel.

“I’dliketoaccommodateyou,”Jessiesaid,choosingherwordscarefully.
Shedidn’twanttohurtTrista,buttherewassomethingaboutthegirlthatdidn’tsitrightwithher.

Shecouldn’tquiteputherfingeronit,andasmuchasTristaclaimedtoidolizeher,Jessiesometimes
feltthegirl’sfawningwasatadtoodramatic.

“Butunfortunately,ifIgiveyoumoretimeI’dhavetoshavesometimeoffofmyset,andifIdo

that,I’dhavetotakeoutatleasttwosongs.Idon’tthinkmyfanswouldappreciatethat.”Sheoffered

Tristaaregretfulsmile.“Ihopeyouunderstand.It’snotpersonal,andifyouopenformeonmynext
tour,I’dbehappytodiscussalongerset.Bythattimeyouralbumwillhavedropped,andyou’llhave
a wider selection of songs to choose from. Songs the public will be familiar with because they’ve
alreadydownloadedthem.”

AnemotionJessiecouldn’tmakeheadsortailsofflickeredinTrista’seyesbeforeshenodded.“I

understand,”Tristasaidasshebrushedbackhermassofhair.“Afterall,thefanspaidtoseeyou,not
me.”

Jessiewavedherhandandsmiled.“Oh,I’msureyou’llbesellingoutconcertsonyourownreal

soon.Youhaveagreatvoice,”shesaid,withasinceritythatsurprisedher.

Although their paths to Nashville were as different as night and day, it didn’t mean that Trista

couldn’t sing, and it didn’t mean that Jessie had to hold a grudge against her just because she’d
basicallyhadnochoiceinchoosingheropeningact.Itwasn’tTrista’sfaultthesuitsweredrooling
overherandherinnocent,angelicpersona.

“Trista?”ThevoicebelongedtoTrista’smanager,whoappearedinthedoorwaywearingalookof

impatience.“We’releaving.”BarryDownsturnedhisattentiontoJessieandgaveherasmileasfake
ashistan.“SorryaboutKenny,”hesaid,thensnappedhisfingersandgloweredatTrista.“Let’sgo.
Thecariswaiting.”

Irritation flared in Trista’s eyes. “All right, already. I’m coming,” she said to Barry’s retreating

back,thensheturnedandsmiledatJessie.“Thanksforthecompliment.Itmeansalotcomingfrom
you. Well, I’d better go before Barry has a meltdown,” she said, then paused mid-turn and looked
back at Jessie once more. “I can’t wait to get to Las Vegas. I’ve never been there before.” Her eyes
sparkledwithexcitement.“Ihaveafeelingit’sgoingtobemyfavoritestoponthetour.”

“Whydoyouthinkthat?”
Tristashrugged,thensmiled.“Justahunch.”

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

I’mgoingtokeepthisshortandsweetthistime!

ThankstoDominiqueandGabiforbeingthebestdaughtersever!
HelenWilliams,JesseGordon,andAllyMurphy-youtakegoodcareofme,andIappreciateyou

morethanyou’lleverknow!

TheFriendsoftheSociety-youladiesareAMAZING!Thanksforthesupport!
Toallthereaderswhopickupthebooks,Icouldn’tdothiswithoutyou!Thanksforreading!

ABOUTTHEAUTHOR

CrystalPerkinshasalwaysbeenabigreader,butsheneverthoughtshewouldwriteherownbook,
untilshedid.ShelivesinLasVegas,whereyoucanfindherrunningauthoreventsandsellingbooks
atconventionswhensheisn’treading,buyingtoomanySherlockt-shirtsonlineorfindingaplaceto
putallofherPop!figurines.Amacandcheeseconnoisseur,shetravelsthecountrylookingforthe
perfect version, while attending book conventions and signings as a cover for her research. The
GriffinBrothersseriesareallInternationalBestSellers,andshe’sthankfultothereaderswhomade
thathappen!

Findherhere:

www.crystalperkinsauthor.com

facebook.com/crystalperkinsauthor

@wondermomlv

crystal@crystalperkinsauthor.com

Document Outline

About Devouring the SECRET
Other books by Crystal Perkins
Prologue
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Epilogue
Hearts on Fire
Acknowledgements
About the Author

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