UncoveringHis

SECRET

Book#5ofCorrigan&Co.

ByCrystalPerkins

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ABOUTUNCOVERINGHISSECRET

She’sheadingbacktoherpasttosaveherfirstlove…

Eleven years ago, Tegan Kelly escaped a fate worse than death with the help of a secret society of
women.Inordertosavetheonlymanshe’severloved,she’llhavetofaceherolddemons,andallof
thenamessheneverwantstobecalledagain.

Hecan’tforgetthegirlwhobetrayedhimandthenleft…

Caleb Hall has never recovered from the cracks Tegan Kelly left in his heart when they were both
sixteen. He shunned her then, and wants to hate her now when he finds out just how much she kept
fromhim.Butoldloveisstrong,andherealizesthatmaybethere’smoretotheiroriginalstorythan
he’slethimselfbelieve.

First love is turning into forever love, but the SECRET Tegan kept from Caleb isn’t the only
one they’re hiding. Can they move on from the past, or will uncovering it all cause them
heartbreakonceagain?

OTHERBOOKSBYCRYSTALPERKINS

TheGriffinBrothersseries

GamingForLove(TheGriffinBrothers#1)

BuildingOurLove(TheGriffinBrothers#2)

CreatingALove(TheGriffinBrothers#3)

LearningToLove(TheGriffinBrothers#4)

DesigningTheLove(TheGriffinBrothers#5)

WorkingOnLove(TheGriffinBrothers#6)

KeepingTheirLove(TheGriffinBrothers#7)

Corrigan&Co.series

FieldingHerSECRET(Corrigan&Co.#1)

DevouringtheSECRET(Corrigan&Co.#2)

RockingaSECRET(Corrigan&Co.#3)

LessonsinSECRET(Corrigan&Co.#4)

Publicly, The Corrigan & Co. Foundation has been supporting women for years. Secretly, five
powerfulwomenledbyJaneCorriganhaverecruitedtenagents,sendingthemtorescuewomenand
children in need, and take down those who exploit the weak. This secret society of women all have
unique skills they’ve brought to the foundation. Additionally, they’ve all had training in weapons,
etiquette, martial arts, technology, and languages. Helping out friends and family of their five
mentorsfromtimetotimeissomethingtheyweretoldtoexpect.Whattheydidn’tplanforisfalling
inlove.

AbouttheCorrigan&Co.FoundationandtheSociety:

•MitchellCorrigancreatedtheCorrigan&Co.Foundationforhiswifeaspartofhiscompanyten
yearsago.HestipulatedthatthefoundationwouldcontinueaslongasthereisaCorriganwomanto
overseeit.

• Jane Corrigan, Cyndi Evans, Maggie Griffin, Mallory Daniels, and Helen Wilson are the
foundersofthesecretsocietywithinthefoundation.Theyfocusonhelpingwomenandchildren,
buttakeonothermissionsfromtimetotime.

• While they assist government and private organizations on a regular basis, they only take
referralsforprivatemissions.

•Eachfounderhasrecruited,andmentors,twoagents.

• The company was founded in Chicago, but has now moved to Las Vegas, where Mitchell was
born.Onhisdeathbed,heaskedhisgrandsontomovethecompanyheadquarterstohelprevivethe
economyinhishometown.Therearesatelliteofficesallovertheworld.

•Jane’sgrandson,Matt,whoisPresidentandCEOofCorrigan&Co.,knowsofthesociety.His
friendsNathanandAiden,whohebroughtinwhentheyallleftthemilitary,knowaswell.Thiswas
adecisionbythefivewomenwhentheyneededhelponamissionthatwentbad.Theydonotknow
allmissiondetails,buthelpwhentheyareasked.

ForTheFriendsoftheSociety,

Thanksforallofyoursupport,

input,andloveofmybooks!

PROLOGUE

Tegan

ReinaandMatt’sweddingwaseverythingweallknewitwouldbe—fullofunspokenlove,andfake

romance.Itwasn’ttheweddingReinadreamedofasalittlegirl,andthat’sexactlythewayshewanted
it.ShelovesMattmorethanlifeitself,andhelovesherjustasfiercely.Butsincehewon’tadmitthat,
shemadesurethatnoneofwhathappenedyesterdaywasreal.They’rereallymarried,butthat’sabout
it.Sheworeadressshecouldtolerate,yellowdiamondsshecouldn’t,andasmilethatanyonewith
halfabraincouldtellwasfake.

Theydidn’teventakearealhoneymoon,whichiswhyI’mwalkingtoReina’sofficerightnow.She

called and said that there was someone coming in who needed our help. I just got done with my
suspension from missions, so she was offering it to me first. All I know is that it’s some kind of
personalprotectionjob.

I walk into the office and stop dead in my tracks. The woman in the chair sees me at almost the

exactmomentIseeherandrocketstoherfeetasshedoes.

“Tegan?”
“Hello,Mrs.Hall.”
“Youtwoknoweachother?”Reinaasks.
“Yes.Wedo,”Isay,tryingnottoshowanyemotion.
“Shecan’tbetheone.Shecan’thelp.MysonwouldneverbelieveIhiredherasmyassistant.”
“Son?ThisisaboutCaleb?”
“That’s none of your business. You made sure of it when you cheated on my son and broke his

heart.”

“Ididn’tcheatonCal,andbelieveme,whathedidtomyheartwasmuchworse.”
“Peoplesawyouleavethatbedroominyourbraandpanties.”
“Thatmayverywellbe,butnoonesawwhathappenedinthatroom.”
“GregtoldCalebwhathappened.”
“Don’t sugarcoat it for my benefit. He told the whole town what he wanted them to hear. That

doesn’tmeanitwasthetruth.”

“I want to believe you, Tegan, I do. You were like a daughter to me for so many years. But you

weren’tyourselfafterthatnight,andyoudidn’ttrytodefendyourself.ThegirlIknewwouldn’thave
letitallgosoeasily.”

“Yeah,well,whentheyboyIlovedmorethanlifeitselfcalledmeaslutwithoutevengivingmethat

chancetodefendmyself,itkindofbrokeme.”

And nothing and no one have ever been able to put me back together. Not only because of what

Caleb did, how he believed someone else over me. But because of what happened after. And what
would’ve happened if Cyndi Evans hadn’t saved us. Because as a sixteen year old girl, what my
parentshadplannedformewasoutofmycontrol,butwould’vedestroyedmeforgood.

Ihavecontrolnow,though,andyearsofignoringthatstupid‘S’wordpeopleliketothrowaround

likeit’snothing.Likeitdoesn’thurtagirltobecalledthat.Evenifshedoesenjoysex.Orifshe’sjust

usingsextotryandgetoveraboy,orthehurthe’scausedher.

“If Caleb’s in danger, I’m doing this mission. I may not be able to be the point person, but I’m

goingtobethereasback-up.”

“Teeg,areyousure?”
“Yeah,Reina.Iam.”
It’stimeformetogohomeandconfrontmydemons.AndmaybeeventheDevilhimself.Ihaveto

doitbecausedespitemyscarlet“S”andthehateCalebspewedatmeallthoseyearsago,Istilllove
him.Godhelpme,butnoonehasbeenabletomakemeforgethim,andwhatcould’vebeen.Igaveup
hopingthatwe’dbetogetheryearsago,butIcanmakehimlistentomenowwhenhewouldn’tback
then.I’llholdhimatgunpointifIhaveto,buthewilllistentome.AndmaybeI’llevenlethimmeet
ourson.

***

Caleb

My mom is so worried about me and the stupid threats I’ve been receiving that she’s off in Las

Vegashiringmesomeprivatesecurity.I’mnotinterestedinanyofthatshit.It’sacowardwhowrites
anotetellingmetoscrapmydealorelse.Orelse,what?Facemelikeafuckingman—orwoman—if
youwanttobetakenseriously.I’veworkedtoohardoneverythingtogiveineitherway,butwriting
meanoteisn’tgoingtohavemeshakinginmyboots.

The woman in my life is worried, though, so I’ll play along. Well, I should say the important

womaninmylifeisworried.Delia’sbeeninmybedalmosteverynightforthepastyear,butshe’s
just a diversion. The ring on her finger makes her—and everyone else—think I’m over the girl
whosenameisonlywhisperedinoursmalltown.ThegirlwhobetrayedmeandthrewawaytheloveI
thoughtwefeltforeachother.

I’llsayhername,becausejustlikewhoever ’sthreateningme,she’stoochickentoshowherface

aroundhere.Whichsavesmefromhavingtoignoreher,becauseGodknowsifshewasinfrontof
me,Icouldn’thidethefactthatshe’sstill“TheOne.”Butthatwillneverhappen.Notafterwhatshe
didtome.Justthinkingaboutitmakesmyangerflareup.TeganKellycansuckmydick—andfrom
whatI’veheard,sheprobablywould,withoutevenknowingitwasme.

CHAPTER1

Tegan

It’s time to come clean with my friends. Not about my son, Ethan—they all know and love him

already.No,IneedtocomecleanaboutwhereI’mfromandwhyI’vehiddenitfromeveryoneforso
long.Allthementorsknow,andsodoesBradleyHall.HehelpedmegetoutofHell,otherwiseknown
as the town I grew up in, and now he’s here in Vegas overseeing the literacy project Scott Griffin
convincedhimbringtotownforhiswife,Yasmin.

It’sbeengoodforEtohaveafamilymemberotherthanmearound.Heknowswhohisdadis,and

thatwebrokeupwhenweweresixteenbecauseofamisunderstanding.OnlyCyndiandBradknow
everythingthathappenedthatnight,though.IwantedtokeepitthatwaybecauseIwasembarrassedby
mypast.IknowIshouldn’tbesinceeveryoneintheSocietyhasenduredpainofonekindoranother.
Wewouldn’tbesogoodatourjobsifwehadn’t.ButIstillfeellikeascaredteenwhenIthinkabout
whathappenedtome.

Ijustwantedtokeepmypainformyself.I’vealreadybeenanalyzedbytheshrinkCyndisentmeto

whenshesavedme.Idon’twantmyfriendstolookatmedifferentlyorthinkI’mnotasstrongasI
workhardtocomeacrossasbeing.Ialsodon’twantthemtoeverrealizethatallthemen…theywere
allbecausetheonemanIcan’thavecalledmesomenames.NamesIfeltIhadtoliveuptobecauseI
washurtingsobadly,eventhoughIwasn’tevenclosetowhatheandeveryoneelsesaidIwas.And
becauseIwaspregnantwithababyIwantedevenmorethanhim,butwasalmostforcedtogiveup.So
yeah,Iwashopingtonevertellmyfriendsthewholetruth,butinordertoprotectmyson’sfather,
I’mgoingtohavetotellthematleastalittlemoreofit.

We’rebetweenmissions,soallnineofus,plusReina,walkintotheconferenceroom.She’sstill

technicallyoneoftheagents,eventhoughshe’snowincharge,butweexpectJaneCorrigantostart
lookingforanewrecruitsoon.Ilooktoallofthemandreturntheircuriousexpressionswithasmall
smile.Stellaisthehardesttolookat—I’veliedtomybestfriendfortoomanyyearsforhernottobe
hurtwhenshefindsout.Ourfriendshiphassurvivedalot,andIhopemysecretsaren’tgoingtobe
enoughtobreakitforgood.

“Hi,”Isay,takingadeepbreath.“Iappreciateallofyoucomingintoday.I-Ihavesomethingsto

tellyou.Thingsthatnooneinthisroomknows.IcanhonestlysaythatIdon’tknowifI’dhavetold
you—anyofyou—ifthecurrentsituationdidn’tcallforit.Iloveyouguys,butmypastis…well,it’s
notpretty.”

“Teeg,youknowyoucantellusanything,”Stellatellsme.“Butifyoudon’twantto,it’sokay.”
“I don’t, but someone came in for help earlier and, well, I have no choice. Ethan’s father is in

danger,andwhoevergoesundercoverwillneedtoknoweverythinginordertohelpprotecthim.”

“Well,fuck,”Jadesays.
“IthinkTeeg—and—Natewouldpreferitifyoudidn’t,”Reinatellsherwithachuckle.
“Huh?What?Me?I’mdoingthemission?”
“Yes. Mrs. Hall is very concerned about her son, and after seeing the communications that have

beensenttoCaleb,Ihavetoagreethatsomeonewantstoharmhimifhegoesthroughwiththedeal

he’s brokering. She thinks someone posing as her new assistant will be the best way in without
drawinganyextraattention.”

“Whatkindofdealisit?”
“Caleb’sdiscoveredanalternatefuelthatcanworkinregulargastanks.Itcanbeaddedtogasoline

orusedonitsown.He’sbeenworkingonitforyears—itwashisdreamasateenager.Hedeveloped
itindividuallyandisnowsellingittohisfamily’soilcompany,”Ianswer.

“Wait.Ijustgotwhatyou’resaying.CalebHallisEthan’sdad?He’sascientificgenius.Likeputs

metoshameinlevelofgenius.Hell,hemightevenputIsatoshame,”Audreysays.

“He’s also a damn fine baseball and football player. He’s the whole package,” Ainsley says with

admirationinhervoice.

“Ioncethoughtsotoo,”IsaywithmorevenominmyvoicethanIwasplanningtoshowtoday.
“Tellus,Teeg.Weloveyou.Whateveryouhavetosayisokay.Ipromise,”Stellatellsme.
Inod.“Well,firstofall,we’renotfromChicago.That’swhereCynditookmewhensherescued

me—and Ethan. He wasn’t actually born yet, so I guess he really is from there, but I’m not. It was
beforetheSocietywasofficiallyformed.Infact,Iwasherlastunofficial‘mission.’”

“That’swhyyourrecordsaresealed,”Isasays.“EvenIcan’taccessthem.”
“Yes.Thementorswantedtoprotectme.Theydidprotectme.Anyway,Igrewupinasmalltownin

Texas.Myparentswere—are—smallranchowners.Aranchthat’snexttotheHall’splace.Theirsis
notsmall,andIwasalwaystoldasalittlegirltostayofftheirpropertyandawayfromthefamily.I
listenedbecauseIwasagoodgirl.Untilthedaythattheboynextdoornoticedme.

“Iknowit’slikeabadcliché,butitreallyhappenedthatway.IwastenwhenCalebfirstaskedmeto

play.Webecamebestfriendsimmediately.Wewentonadventures,swimmingandcatchingfishinhis
creek,ridingourhorsesforhours—justbeingkids.Untilweweren’t.

“One day we looked at each other and both realized that something had changed. I noticed the

muscleshe’dgottenfromalltheworkontheranch,andhenoticedthatI’dgottensomecurves.Being
thegeniusheis,hewantedustoapproachthisnewfoundattractionlogically.Soweheldhandsfora
week—only when we were alone, because we didn’t want anyone to know that things might have
changed.Thenextweek,wekissedeachother ’scheekaswellasstillholdinghands.Bythetimethe
third week came to an end, we both knew our friendship was only enhancing the kissing we were
doing,butwewaitedonemoreweektogopublic.

“Inourtown,thatmeantthatwewenttotheFourthofJulyfestivaltogether,whichwasn’tasurprise

to anyone since we always went together as friends. When Cal kissed me in the middle of the town
square, well that got us some shocked looks. Everyone was so used to seeing us together that they
thought we’d just be friends forever. Especially because a Hall dating a Kelly was comparable to
PrinceCharmingfallingforCinderella.Iwasn’twhatthetownexpectedfortheirroyalson;although,
hisfamilyalwaysacceptedmeashisfriend,andthenhisgirlfriend.

“Myparentstriedtostopus,sayingIwasplayingtoofarupthefoodchain,andhewouldhurtme.I

knewhewouldn’t,though.Nomatterhowmanyofthegirlsintownparadedthemselvesinfrontof
him,Calnevergavemeanyreasontobelievehe’dleaveme.Myfamilymaynothavehadalotof
money,butIneverfeltthatwhenIwaswithhim.Ineverfeltless,until…untilthedayhetoldmethatI
was.”

“You’renot,Teeg,”Stellatellsme.
I smile at my best friend. “Even after all these years of lying to you? Of telling you I only liked

countrymusicandclothes,butdidn’tknowthelife?”

“Hell,yeah.Idon’tcarewhereyouwereborn.You’remybestfriend,andIloveyou.”
“Willyoutelluswhathappened,Tegan?Canyou?”Reinaasksme,andIseethecompassioninher

eyes,soItellherthetruth.She’sknownmethelongestandmaydeserveitmorethanStella,even.

“I-Ican’ttellyoueverything.Iwantto,butit’stoohard.”
“Thenjusttelluswhatyoucan.”
“CalandIdatedforthreeyears.Whenweweresixteen,someofhisfriendsdecidedheshouldbe

taking advantage of all the pageant queens throwing themselves at him instead of dating the poor
cowgirl. They…,” I take a deep breath and continued. “They did something to make it seem like I
cheated on him with one of them, and he believed it. Just like that. He didn’t even ask me. He just
calledmeaslut,amongothernames.Hesaidheneverwantedtoseeorspeaktomeagain.ThatIwas
dead to him, and he wished…he wished I really was dead. I had just found out I was pregnant with
Ethanandwasplanningontellinghimthenightitallwentdown.”

“Whythefuckareweprotectingthisasshole?”Ellieasks.
“He’s Ethan’s father. E knows who he is and that we haven’t spoken for almost eleven years. He

doesn’tthinkheneedsCalebbecauseofallthegreatguyshe’ssurroundedwith,butonedayhemay
changehismind.Ican’tlethisfatherdie.”

“Idon’thavetobenicetohim,though,”Jadesays.
“No,” Reina agrees. “You just have to protect him. Knee him in the balls daily if you want, just

makesurehedoesn’tgetkilled.”

***

Caleb

Mymom’snew“assistant”isstartingtoday.Istilldon’tthinkIneedsomebodyguard,butwhatever.

It’snotworththetroubleofarguingwithher.Ihavetoomuchworktostilldoforthesaleandlaunch
of my new fuel system. I’ve been dreaming of making this a reality for over ten year now, and I
almost can’t believe that it’s finally going to happen. I should be celebrating, and although I
technicallywillbe,it’sgoingtobebittersweet.

All those years ago, when I was beginning this dream, I had Tegan by my side. She was my one

personcheersquad,andbetterthananyofthegirlswhodancedonthesidelinesformeatgames.We
had plans, plans for me to get this formula right and her to be next to me with a business and
communicationsdegree.AssmartasIamwithscience,she’ssmarterwithwritingandresearch.She’s
alsothesavviestbusinesspersonI’veevermet—andshewassixteenthelasttimeIsawher.Soyeah,
I’mexcited,butwhileconqueringtheformulaisadreamcometrue,doingitwithoutherissomewhat
ofanightmare.

It’s a variation of the nightmare that began when half the high school saw her coming out of the

bedroomGregDeanwasusingathiscousin’shouseinHouston.Sheonlyhadabraandpantieson,
alongwithherboots.Thecallsandtextsstartedimmediately—Iwasonabeerrunwithsomeofthe
otherguysatthetimesoImissedtheliveshow.Ididn’twanttobelieveit,buteveryonesawher.AndI
sawtheguiltinhereyeswhenIwenttoconfrontherthenextday.Shedidn’tevenneedtoopenher
mouth—I could see that what was being said about her was true. That’s when I lost it, and lost her.
Nothing’sbeenthesameformesince.

“Thereyouare,Caleb,”mymomsays,comingintotheoldbarnI’dconvertedintoalabyearsago.
“WhereelsewouldIbe,Mom?”Iaskherovermyshoulder,nottryingtohidetheaffectioninmy

voice.I’mamama’sboy,andIownit.

Shesmacksmeonmyassbeforeanswering.“Enoughsassfromyou.Ibroughtmynewassistant

foryoutomeet.”

Iturnandtakeinthewomanbeforeme.Shehaslong,reddish-brownhair,andcurvesanylingerie

modelwoulddiefor.She’saboutmediumheightandglaringatmelikeI’vewrongedhersomehow.

SinceI’veneverseenherbefore,I’mnotsurewhyshe’ssoangry.

“Don’t you mean my bodyguard? The one I don’t need, or want. She doesn’t look like a

bodyguard.”

“Weneedtokeepupappearances,Cal.Ineedyoutobesafe.Jadewillkeepyousafe.”
“Delia’sgoingtohaveafitifsheseeshernearme.”
“StoptalkingaboutmelikeI’mnothere,please,andwho’sDelia?”Jadeasks.
“Myfiancée.Shehasajealousstreak.”
IswearIseehernostrilsflare.“Idon’tseewhy.You’renothingspecial.Youdon’tevendresslikea

cowboy.”

No,Idon’t.That’ssomethingelseTegantookfromme.Hatsandbootsweresomuchapartofour

daily life that I couldn’t look at mine any more. Once she was gone, I transformed myself into
somewhatofahipster,completewithsomescruffonmyfaceandapeakinmyhair.

“Jade!Reinasaidthiswouldn’tbeaproblem.”
“Iwillprotectyoursonbecauseoneofmybestfriendshasaskedmetokeephimsafe.ButIwill

not,atanytime,befriendlytowardshim.HecangotoHellandnevercomebackforallIcare.”

Whoa.“Who’sthisfriendofyours?”
“That’snotreallyimportant,”mymomsays,wringingherhandsnervously.
Jadejustsmirksatmebeforehoppingontopofoneofthecountersinfrontofme.“TeganKelly.

She’s my friend. And you’re the piece of shit that she wants to keep alive regardless of how badly
you’vehurther.Yourmommydidn’tthinkyoucouldhandleherbeingyourbodyguard,soyougot
meinstead.Luckyyou.”

I stumble backwards. Tegan’s friends with my bodyguard? And she’s part of this secret

organizationmymomhadtobegherfriendtofind?Justwhohasshegrownuptobe?AndwhydoI
wanttoknowsobadly?BecauseIstillloveher,that’swhy.AndI’msupremelyfucked.

CHAPTER2

Tegan

“Iwanttogowithyou,”Ethantellsme,comingintomybedroomasIpack.
“What?No,E.It’stoodangerous.”
“YousaidifIeverwantedtoseehim,you’dtakemetohim.”
“Is-isthatwhatyouwant?Tomeethim?”Iaskasmyhandsshakealittle.
Iexpectedthisdaytocome.Sometimes,I’veevenlongedforit.ThosearethedaysI’vefeltguilty

forkeepingthemapart.Nottooguiltytocontacthimandrisklosingmyson,butguiltynonetheless.

“Hellno.”
“Language.”
Hegivesmehissmile.TheonethatmakeshimlookevenmorelikeCaleb.He’sbasicallyamini

him,butwithmyredhairinsteadofCal’sdarkbrownlocks.I’dbelyingifIsaidIdidn’tfeelalittle
acheeverytimeIlookathim.IthurtstoseethemanIlovestaringbackatmeeverydayinourson,
especiallynowthathe’salreadyastallasmyshoulders.Butitalsofillsmewithhappiness.

“Heck no, Mama. I just want to see him. I know the house you bought there is on a hill near the

ranch.Ibetyou’vegotatelescope,too.”

He’sdefinitelymykid.“Yes,andyes,E.Butifanyonesawyou,they’dknowyou’rehis.Youlook

justlikeyourdaddy.”

“My father. He hasn’t earned the right to be called my ‘daddy.’ I’ll stay in the house, I promise.

Please.”

Ican’tsaynotomyson,justlikeIcouldneversaynotohisfather.“Fine.Oneweekonly,though.

Andyouhavetolistentome.You’lldowhateverItellyoutodo.”

“Ialwaysdo.”
I give him a look, and he gives me a sheepish smile. “I’ll ask Luke to get your homework from

yourteacher.”

“Don’tforgettocallMilesandtellhimIwon’tbeatLittleLeague.Oh,andletRyanknowIcan’t

helpwithhisnewbuildingmodel.AndtellScottIcan’t…nevermind.I’lltextthemall.”

Irufflehishairandkisshischeekbeforeherunsbacktohisroom.Iwasn’tsurebringinghimhere

fromChicagowouldbeagoodidea.He’dlivedtherehiswholelife,andallhisfriendswereatthe
school he’d gone to since kindergarten. I visited him at least three times a month, but it was really
hardtoleavehimtherewhenIhadtocomeheretoVegas.HewasingoodhandswithCyndi,butI
missedhimsomuch,andIwassohappywhenheaskedtomoveherewithmeacoupleofmonths
ago.

My friends all stepped right up to help—just like they’d done when we were all in Chicago

together. Now it’s more fun for them since he’s becoming a little man instead of just a boy. The
Griffin and Corrigan men have taken him under their wing, teaching him everything he needs to
knowaboutcomputers,architecture,art,hockey,baseball,andbusiness.MyfriendsKace,Wade,and
BrettfromthebandStorysidehavebeenteachinghimhowtoplaydifferentinstrumentswhenthey’re

intown.Zackplaysfootballwithhim,Gavincookswithhim,andNateteacheshimhowtofight.Isa’s
boyfriend,Jake,willhavesomethingtoaddtothemixaswell,I’msure.

Cyndi,Jane,MaggieandGaryGriffin,HelenWilson,andMalloryandJeffDanielshavesteppedin

ashonorarygrandparents.Heevencallsthewomenhis“Grams.”TheGriffinwomenbabysitforme
sometimes;althoughIrarelygooutanymore.TheyalsomakesureIknowIcancountonthemfor
anything. And my girls, well, they’ve taught him how to respect and treat a woman. The Society
women—past and present—have shown us so much love and support since I joined them all five
yearsago.Icanneverthankthemallforwhatthey’vedoneformeandEthan.Hehasaplethoraof
strongmaleandfemalerolemodels.Icouldn’taskforabetterlife.Well,Icould.Butthat’sawhole
otherstory.Adreamthatwilljustnevercometrue.Forme,atleast.

“I’mready,”Ethantellsmeashecomesbackintotheroomwithhisdufflebagoverhisshoulder.

“Heyyoudidn’tpackanythingelse,Mama.”

“Sitdownaminute,‘kay?”
“What’swrong?”
“Nothing.Ijustneedtotalktoyou.”
“Okay,”hesaysaswebothsitonmybed.
“Ifyouwanttomeethim,I’llmakeithappen.”
“Idon’t.”
“You’resure?”
“Yeah.Imean,Iwanttoseehiminperson,butIdon’tneedhim.Ihaveyou.”
“Iknowthere’safatherandsonsportsnightatyourschoolsoon.I’dgo,butthatmightbeweird.”
“Milessaidhe’dtakeme.Actually,alltheguysoffered.I’mcovered.Really.AndifIdidn’thave

them, I’d be happy to have you go. You’re my mom and my dad, too. The best anyone could ever
have.AslongasIhaveyou,Idon’tneedsomejerkinmylife.”

“He’snotajerk,baby.”
“Hehurtyou,soyeahheis.”
“Hegothurt,too.Bywhathappened.”
I haven’t told him the details, but he knows that someone lied about me and his dad believed it. I

told him I had to leave my family because they weren’t going to let me keep him. That’s the easy
version.Thedetailsaresomuchworse,andnotsomethingIeverthinkaboutsharingwithhim.He
doesn’tneedtoknowwhatIwentthrough.

“Heshouldhavebelievedyou.”
Ican’treallyarguewiththat,butItrytobecausemysonshouldonedayknowhisfather.“Hewas

young,andwhathebelievedhurthimtoomuchtothinkstraight.Idon’twantyoutothinkbadlyof
him,E.”

“Well,Ido.NoonehurtsmyMamaandgetsawaywithit.”
Ipullhimtomeandholdhimtightastearsfillmyeyes.Hisfatherusedtogetthatsamelookof

fierceprotectivenessinhiseyeswhenhetalkedaboutme.SeeingitonoursonismorethanIcantake
rightnow.EspeciallywhenI’mabouttowalkbackintothetownIleftallthoseyearsagowithnoreal
intention of going back so soon. Thank God my scarlet letter ’s still in place since they’ll all be
lookingforit.Itdoesn’tmatterthatIneverreallyearnedituntilalietoremysoulapart.

***

Caleb

I’m still trying to wrap my head around the fact that Tegan is back in my life. I mean, she’s not

here,butshesentafriendtoprotectme.AndfromwhatIgatheredearlier,shewould’vecomehere
anddoneitherself.Shewaswillingtocomebackheretothetownthatshunnedherinordertomake
sureIwassafe.Eventhoughtheyallshunnedherbecauseofme.Icanstillrememberherfirstday
backatschoolaftershecheatedonme.

“Welllookatthis.Theslutdecidedtoshowherfacetoday,”Gregtoldher.“Didyouwantmoreof

mydickinyourmouth?”

“GotoHell,youbastard.”
“You’retheonegoingtoHell,whore,”Deliasaid.
Teganlookedourwaythen,seeingDeepracticallywrappedaroundme.“Wellatleastyougotyour

wish,bitch.”

“Idid.Comeon,Cal,wehavetogettoclass.Maybethejanitorwilltakeoutthetrashwhilewe’re

gone.”

IfeeltheshameovertakemeagainasIthinkaboutthatday,andthedaysafterbeforeshelefttown.I

stoodbyandletthemallsaythosethingstoher.Isaidthingstoher.Whethertheyweretrueornot
doesn’treallymatter.I’vehadyearstorealizethatstayingfriendswithGregwhilecondemningher
waswrong.Hell,allofwhatwassaidanddonetoherwaswrong.Istilldidit,though.

Ican’tgobackandchangeit,butIhonestlywishIcould.IknowIshould’veaskedherforherside

ofthestorybecauseapartofmeknowsshelovedme.ButIwasyoung,andlet’sfaceit,stupid.Hell,
I’mstillstupidifthewomanwalkingintomylabisanyindication.

“Whoisshe?”Deeaskswithasneeronherface.WhyIhookedupwithherwhenIcamehomea

yearagoisbeyondme.She’stoxicandevil.

“Thisismymom’snewassistant,Jade.”
“Whyissheherewithyouifshe’syourmama’sassistant?”
“’She’isrighthereandcananswerforherself,”Jadesays,hoppingdownfromthecounter.
“Wellthen,goahead.”
“No.”
“Excuseme?”
IseetheveinatDee’stemplestarttothrobandIhavetofighttoholdbackmylaugh.She’snotused

tobeingtold“no”byanyone.Especiallynotsomeonewhoworksforherfamilyormine.

“Isaidno.I’mnotgoingtotellyouwhyI’mhere.It’snoneofyourbusiness.”
“Calebisforsuremybusiness.We’reengaged,”shesays,flashingthebigdiamondsheinsistedon.
“Ialmostfeelsorryforyou,Caleb.Almost.”
“Look, bitch. Maybe you don’t understand how things work since you’re obviously not from

aroundhere,butthehelprespectstheiremployersaroundhere.”

“You’vedefinitelydowngraded,dude.Likebigtime.”
“Getout.”
Jadejuststartslaughingather,andI’mkindofinawe.Imean,damnisshegood.Shepushedevery

one of Delia’s buttons in less than five minutes. Only Tegan was better. I remember what I was
thinkingofearlier,andrealizethatwhileIcan’tmakewhatIdidbetterforher,Icanstandupforher
friend.

“Yougetout,Dee,anddon’tcomebackuntilyoucanactlikeadecenthumanbeing.”
“Seriously?”
“Yeah.I’moverthismeangirlactyou’vebeenplayingsincehighschool.Itgotoldthen,andit’s

disgustingnow.”

“Youweren’tdisgustedwhenyouweremakinglovetomelastnight.”

“Screwing,Dee.Iscrewedyou.Therewasnoloveinvolvedlastnight,oranyothernightforthat

matter.Webothknowit.”

“Thenwhyareyoumarryingme?”
“Youknow.”
“Sayit,”shescreeches,lookingmorethanalittlecrazed.I’vegonethisfar,though,sowhynotgo

alltheway.

“Becauseyou’renothinglikeher.”
She lunges for me, but Jade steps in and tosses her back. Literally fucking tosses her backwards.

Dee’seyesareaswideasminebeforeshestormsout.

“Damn,Jade.Thatwas…just,damn.”
“Itwashonestlymypleasure.ShewasmeantoTeeg,wasn’tshe?”
“Yeah.Shewasoneoftheworst.”
“ThenI’mgladIcoulddothat.Whowasworsethanher,though?MaybeIneedtopaythemavisit,

too.”

“Me,”Itellher,lookingherintheeye.“Iwastheworst.”

***

Tegan

There’snoairportinmyhometown,unlessyoucounttheHall’sprivateairstrip,soIhavetodrive

in from Houston. Ethan is looking around, just taking it all in, when we approach the “Welcome”
sign.Ipullovertothesideoftheroadbeforewereachit.Iclosemyeyesandtakeafewdeepbreaths.
IthoughtIwaspreparedtocomeback.IknowIhavetobehereinordertomakesurebothCaleband
Jadearesafe.Butforsomereason,Ican’tmakemyselfputthecarbackindrive.

“It’sokay,Mama.Iwon’tletanyonehurtyou.”
“I’msupposedtotakecareofyou,baby,nottheotherwayaround.”
“Youtakecareoftheworldalready,andyou’veraisedmebetterthananyoneelseevercouldhave.

Iwanttoprotectyounow.I’vegotyourback.”

Iburstintotearsthen.Hearingmylittleboywantingtoprotectmedoesmein.Nooneinthistown

ever stood up for me, not even my own parents. But Ethan will, and so will my friends. I know it
withoutadoubt,andthat’swhatmakesmeshiftthecarintogearanddriveintotown.

Isuppresstheurgetocrouchinmyseataswedrivethroughthemainstreetoftown.It’snot“Main

Street” because there’s no one named Main living here. You guessed it—it’s Hall Street. Which I
belatedlyremembermeansthisispartofEthan’slegacyaswell.

“ThisisHallStreet,E.Itwasnamedforyourgreat-great-great-great-grandfather,whofoundedthis

town.”

“Woohoo.”
“Sarcasmisn’tgoingtochangewhoyouare.”
“I’mTeganKelly’sson.That’sall.”
I want to argue with him, but I realize now is really not the time. I’ve worked hard to keep my

bitternesstowardsCalfromEthan,buthe’sasmartkid.HeknowswhatI’mdoing,andhe’scalledme
onitmorethanonce.WepulluptomyhousebeforeIcanthinkanymoreaboutthetwomenIlove,
andhowtohandlethemboth.

Iboughtthishouseaboutayearago,withMatt’shelp.Hecreatedafakecorporationforme,soit

can’tbetraced.Iwasn’tsureIwouldeverbeabletocomebackhere,butbecauseCalebishere,I’ve
keptmyeyeonthetown.ForEthan’ssake,ofcourse.

WhenIsaw thatthishouse wasforsale, Ihadto haveit. It’sbeenmy dreamhousesince Iwasa

littlegirl.It’salightblueVictorianwithwhitetrim.Ithasfivebedrooms,sixbathrooms,asmallbarn,
andenoughlandforahorseortwo.IusedtostareupatitandimagineCalandIwouldlivehere.I
don’thavetheman,butIdohavethehouse.

It’stheonlyhousehigheronthehillthantheHall’s,andIwaspartofabiddingwarwithColonel

Hall—that’shisrealfirstname,notatitle—forit.Hejustdidn’tknowitwasme.Icanonlyimagine
howangryhewasthatIwon.That’swhathegetsforinvestingmostofhismoneybackintothefamily
business. I know he tried to get some money from Brad, but he knew I was the other bidder, so he
refused.I’mjustluckyitwentupforsalebeforeCaleb’sinventionwentlive.They’llallbericherthan
Godoncethatformulastartsmakingthemmoney.

I unlock the door and tell Ethan where to find his room. Chloe Griffin took care of all the

decoratingforme.IpickedeverythingIwanted,andshehadhercrewcomeinheretoputitallwhere
IwanteditandmaketheupdatesIaskedfor.I’lladmittoasenseofsatisfactionfromknowingthatno
oneinthistownwashiredtoworkonmyhouse.Chloewouldn’tallowit,andI’llbeforevergrateful
toherforthat.

“Iseehim,Mama.IseehimwithJade.”
Irunupthestairsandovertotheofficewherethetelescopeis,seeingthelookofwonderonmy

son’s face. I didn’t think Ethan would go there so fast, but I should’ve known better. Despite his
indifference,Iknowdeepdownthathewantstoknowhisfather.MaybeIjustneedtomakeameeting
happen,whetherhewantsitornot.Heneedstoseethathisfatherismorethantheboywholeftme.So
verymuchmore.

CHAPTER3

Caleb

Myhatemailhasincreasedoverthelastfewdays.Idon’tknowhowtheyknowI’malmostreadyto

go into production this weekend, but they do. Which makes Jade sure that it’s someone here on the
property.Idon’tknowwhoitcouldbe,though.

“There’snoonewhowasembarrassedorsomethingbyyourfamily,butstillworkshere?”
“No.Myfamilytreatseveryonewell.”
“Evenyourgrandfather?”
“He’s…difficult,butnotmean.”
“Ifyousayso.”
“Ido.”
“WhatdidtheythinkofTegan?”
“Theylovedher,”Itellherwithouthesitation.“Wealldid.”
“Untilyoudidn’t.”
Idon’tfeellikelyinganymore,andshe’sprobablytheonlyoneIcanbehonestwith.“IneversaidI

didn’tloveTegan.”

“Oh,excuseme,Ididn’trealizethat‘slut’wasanotherwordforlove.”
“Doyouknowwhatshedid?”
“Iknowwhatyouthinkshedid.”
“What who did?” Dee asks, breaking the moment and saving me from realizing that I may have

madethebiggestmistakeofmylife.

“Notyou,”Jadetellsher.
“Listen,I’vehadaboutenoughofyou.”
“GoodthingIdon’tworkforyouthen,huh?”
“Caleb,whywon’tyoudosomethingabouther?”shewhinestome.
“Ienjoyhercompany.”
“I’myourfiancée.”
“Yeah,aboutthat.I’mthinkingweshouldcallitoff.”
“Areyouinsane?”
“No.IthinkI’mthemostsaneI’vebeeninyears.WebothknowIonlyaskedyoubecausemarrying

youwouldberelativelyeasyforme.”

“Iloveyou.”
“Youdon’t.Youlovetheideaofme.Ofmarryingintomyfamily.”
“We’regoodtogether.”
“I’mtryingtobegentleaboutthisDee,butdoIreallyneedtospellitoutforyou?”
“Iguessmaybeyoudo.”
“Fine.IdatedyouinhighschoolbecauseIknewitwouldhurtTegan.I’vebeensleepingwithyou

for the past year because you were available. And I asked you to marry me because I knew you’ve

alwaysonlywantedmeformylastname.ButIthinkit’stimeIwentafterwhatIwant,insteadofjust
settlingforwhat’sconvenient.”

“Andyouwanther?”sheasks,motioningtowardsJade.
“Umm,no.Imean,nooffenseJade,butit’snotyouIwant.”
“Thefeeling’smutual,believeme.”
“Thenwho?Whodoyouwant?”
“It’sreallynoneofyourbusiness.Keepthering,andwhateverelseIboughtyou.”
“Whatabouttomorrow?”
Shit.Iforgotaboutthefamilydinnertocelebratetheformulabeingalmostready.“Youcancome

todinner,butthat’sit.”

“You’llbesorry.”
Ialreadyam.“NotforthereasonsyouthinkIwill.”
Shestormsout,andJadestartsclapping.“Thatwasprettyfreakingawesome.”
“Thanks,butIdidn’treallyenjoythat.”
“Yes,youdid.”
“You’reright,butIshouldn’thave.”
“Fromwhatyou’vetoldme,thatwomanmadeoneofmybestfriendssuffer.Iwould’vepaidyouto

dothat.”

“IalsotoldyouIwasworse.”
“Karma already visited you when you hooked up with the beauty queen, but if you hurt Tegan

again,I’llcomeforyou.”

“Idon’tevenknowwheresheis.”
“Whenyouwantthatinformation,allyouhavetodoisask.”
“You’dtellme?”
“Yeah,IthinkIwould.Ilikeyou.”
“I like you, too, and I’m going to be asking for the info soon. I just have to get some things in

order.”

“Youdothat.I’mjustgoingtogooutsideandcheckinwithmyboss.Ineedtoseeifthey’vefound

anythingmoreoutaboutthelettersandemails.”

“Youcandothatinhere.”
“Ilikeyou,butIcan’tsayItrustyou,Caleb.”
“I’llearnyourtrust.”
“Icertainlyhopeso.”

***

Tegan

I don’t know what to do with Ethan. He’s become obsessed with watching Caleb through the

telescope.Heonlyleavesthatroomtotakeashowerorpee.Heconvincedmetolethimsleeponthe
couchinthere,andweeatintherenowtoo.Iknowthisisn’thealthy,buthowcanIkeephimfromhis
fatheranylongerthanIalreadyhave.

“E,doyouwanttogoovertheretodayandmeethim?”
“Willitmakeyoucrymore?”
“No,baby.IonlycrybecauseIseehowmuchyouwanthim,andIknowIshouldn’thavekepthim

fromyou.”

“Yes.Youshould’ve.Hebrokeyourheart,Mama.Idon’twanttofeellikethis.Idon’twanttowant

himinmylife.”

“Butyoudo.”
“Yeah,”hesayshanginghisheaddown.“I’msorry.”
“No. Don’t apologize. I never want you to apologize for wanting him in your life. You deserve

yourfather.”

“Evenifitendsuphurtingyou?”
“Yes,Ethan.Eventhen.Youcomefirst.Youalwayshave,andyoualwayswill.”
“Whatifhedoesn’tcare?”
“He’llcare.Yourfather ’sgoingtocaresomuch.”Andhatemeevenmore.
“Howdoyouknow?”
“BecauseIdon’tthinkanyonecouldknowyouandnotwanttobepartofyourlife.”
“Hecanonlyhavepartofit,though.Iwon’tleaveyou,Mama.Iknowyou’reworriedaboutthat.”
He’sright.“Ifyouwantedtogowithhim,I’dletyou.Butifhetriestotakeyouotherwise,I’llfight

him.HarderthanI’veeverfoughtforsomethinginmylife.Ipromiseyouthat.”

“Iknow.”
“Let’swashup,andthenwe’lldriveover.”
We’reoutofthehousefifteenminuteslater.I’msurprisedthatthegatesareopenwhenwegettothe

ranch. There should be extra security, not less. As I’m parking the car, the chip in my arm starts
buzzing.It’sJade’srhythmthatbuzzesundermyskin,sendingoutthedistresscall.

“Listentome,E.Ineedyoutostayinthecar.Getontheflooranddon’tmoveuntilIcomeback.

Nomatterwhatyouhear.Doyouunderstand?”

“Why?What’swrong?”
“Jadesentoutadistresssignal.”
“Becareful,Mama.”
“Ialwaysam.”
Oncehe’ssettledandIthrowablanketfromthebackseatoverhim,Icheckmyweapons.I’vegot

twoofmyGlocksandtwoBowieknives.Iputoneguninmywaistband,andslidetheknivesintomy
boots.Iusethecarforcoverandruntothesideofthehouse.Nothing’schangedsinceIwaslasthere,
soIknowthebestwaytogetinside.

OnceImakeitintheFrenchdoorsofthestudy,Icocktheguninmyhandandthenslipoutintothe

hallway leading to the dining room. I hear the screaming almost immediately. A voice I recognize
from some of my nightmares is yelling about Caleb ruining everything. Delia. This is just getting
betterandbetter.

IstayclosetothewalluntilIgettothediningroomdoor.There’salargemirrorononewallthat

givesmealittleglimpseatwhat’sgoingon.Thereareeightguyswithguns,plusDeliaandherlittle
pistol. Christ. No wonder Jade send out the call. She could probably handle most of the guys, but a
crazywomanistoounpredictable.Ishouldknow.I’mabouttolooklikeone.

I grab a knife and switch hands with my gun. Good thing they teach us how to shoot with either

handinourSocietytraining.Takingadeepbreath,IleanintotheroomandthrowtheknifejustasI
shoottheguynearestme,andthenhisfriend.Semi-automatictriggerforthewin.Ihearthethudand
Delia’sscreamasIjumpontothetableinfrontofCaleb,grabmyothergun,andshootthetwoguys
closest to him. One got off a shot that hit me in the arm, but I’m too hyped up on adrenaline at the
moment to feel the pain. Jade takes out three more guys as the last one drops to the floor with his
handsintheair.

Jadesecureshimaftercheckingthattheotherguysareout.IkeepmyselfinfrontofCalebuntilshe

nodsatme.Delia’sstillscreamingandbeggingforsomeonetofreeherhandfromwheremyknife

hasimpaleditinthewall,whenEthanrunsintotheroom.

“Mama,you’rebleeding.”
“Ethan,ItoldyoutostayinthecaruntilIcamebackout.”
“Iknow.”
“Ifyouknowthenwhyareyouinhere?”
“Yourarmisbleeding.”
“Igotshot.It’snotbad.Youshouldn’tbeinhere,baby.”
“Youwouldn’tbehereifitwasn’tforme.IfIhadn’twantedtomeethim.”
“Yes,Iwould’ve.I’mJade’sbackup.Iwould’vegottenherdistresssignalevenifwe’dstillbeenup

atthehouse.Thisisnotyourfault,E.”

“Oh my God,” Delia says from behind me. “He’s your kid. And Caleb’s. He looks just like him.

Youhavealittlebastard.”

MyotherknifeisinmyhandandatherthroatbeforeIevenrealizeit.“Listentomeclearlybecause

Iwillonlytellyouthisonce,bitch.Idon’tcarewhatyoucalledmeinhighschoolorevenwhatyou
callmenow.Butsayonemorethingaboutmyson,andIwillsliceyourthroatopenwithoutasecond
thought.”

She must see I mean it because she just starts whimpering again. I think about shoving the knife

furtherintoherhand,butIhavemoreimportantthingstoworryabout.Nottheleastofwhichisthe
manwho’sstaringatoursonwithtearsinhiseyes.

“YournameisEthan?”Calaskshim.
“EthanCalebHall,”hereplies.
“Yougavehimmyname?”heaskswithouttakinghiseyesoffofourboy.
“Yes.”
Ishouldsaymore,andIwantto,butIcan’t.Ican’tmakemymouthformmorewords.Seeingthem

together has my heart in my throat. If I wasn’t in the middle of an active crime scene, I’d probably
droprighttotheground.Asitis,Iswayalittle.

“Mama,”Ethansays,pointingtome.“She’shurt.Helpher.”
IfeelstrongarmscomearoundmeandpickmeupbeforeIfalltotheground.“I’vegotyou,Teeg.

I’vegotyou.Justholdon,”Calebtellsme,ashelaysmeacrosssomeemptychairs.

“It’sathroughandthrough.I’mfine.Ineedtoprotectyou.”
“Youdid.Yousavedme.”
“You’renotmadaboutEthan?”
“I’msoangryIcanbarelyseestraight,butIwon’tfightwithaninjuredwoman.”
“He’sperfect,Cal.He’sjustlikeyou.Perfect,”ItellhimasIsuccumbtothedarkness.

***

Caleb

As Tegan passes out, Ethan—my son—starts to freak out. I pull him back from her as my mom

runs in with one of the medical grade first aid kits we keep on hand for ranch injuries. She
immediatelyputspressureonTegan’sarm,andhasmydadholditdown.

“Ineedtobewithmymama.Letmego,”Ethanscreamsashefightsagainstme.
“She’sokay,Ethan.Shejustlostsomebloodandshepassedout,”mymomtellshim.
Hestopsstruggling,andlookstoJade,whonodsathim.“She’sokay.Hertransmitterwouldletme

knowifshewasinseriousdistress.”

Transmitters.Guns.Knives.WhothehellhasTeganbecome?

“Thankyoufortakingcareofher,Father,”Ethantellsmeinaflatvoice.
“I’mnotthatformal,Ethan.Youcancallme‘Dad.’”
“No.Youhavetoearnthatname.Youhaven’tdonethatyet.”
“Iwasn’tgiventhechance.”
“Youhurtmymama.Thatwasyourchance.NoonehurtsherwhenI’maround.”
Inod.Teganwasn’tkidding.Thiskid—mykid—isprettydamnperfect.Andshecalledmethat,too.

Shesaidhewaslikeme,evenashelookslikehewantstopunchme.

“Yourmom’sprobablytoldyousomeprettybadthingsaboutme,huh?”
“No.Imean,Iknowyoubelievedsomethingaboutherthatwasn’ttrueandyoucalledherthe‘S’

word.Whichmakesmemadatyou.Butshealsotoldmethatyou’resmart,andcompassionate,anda
bunchofotherthings.Shesaidyou’dwanttomeetme,andthatyou’d…careaboutme.”

“Ido,Ethan.Icare.”
It’s the truth. I may have just met him, but I love him already. I’ve heard people say it’s like that

when you have a baby. I guess this is the same thing, only I missed the diapers, the first steps, and
prettymucheverythingIshould’vebeentherefor.I’mnotmissinganythingeveragain.Idon’tknow
howwe’llworkthisout,butwewill.

“Didshetellyouaboutus?”Ihearfrombehindme.
“Yes.You’remygrandmaandgrandpa.YoucameandaskedReinaforhelptokeepmyfathersafe.”
There’sthatdamnwordagain.Father.I’mgoingtogethimtocallme“Dad”ifit’sthelastthingI

do.HesaidIhavetoearnit,andIwill.Whateverittakes.

“Doyougowithyourmamaonassignmentslikethisregularly?”mydadasks.Ineedthisanswer,

too.

“Never.IusuallystaywithoneoftheGrams,oroneofourfriends.Ibeggedhertobringmehere

soIcouldseehim.Ididn’tthinkIwantedtomeethim,butIwantedtoseehim.”

“Howdidyouseeme,Ethan?”
“Mamaownsthebluehouseonthehill.Ihadatelescope,soIcouldseeyouinthebarn.”
“Thebluehouse?TeganKellyownsthathouse?”
Ohshit.Irememberthebiddingwarmygrandpawagedforthathouse.Ialsorememberhowmuch

Teganalwayslovedthathouse.Ididn’tknowshehadthemoneytooutbidhim,though.

“Yeah.It’sprettycool,butIlikemyroomsinChicagoandLasVegasbetter.”
“ChicagoandLasVegas?”Iask.
JadeinterruptsusbeforeIcananswer.“Myextractionteaminalmosthere.Youneedtopackabag,

Caleb.”

“Abag?”
“You’renotsafehere.Weneedtogetyousomeplacesafe.”
“I’mfinehere,”Isay,lookingaroundtheroomtonoticethatanFBIunitishereandistakingcare

ofthebodies,whileDeliaandthelastgunmanareinhandcuffs.IwassocaughtupinmysonthatI
missedallthearrivals.“WhyhasnoonehelpedTegan?”

“Oneofourdoctorsisontheplaneandwilltakecareofher.It’sbetterthatway.Nowaboutthat

bag.Youhavefiveminutes.”

“Itoldyou—,”Idon’tgettofinishmysentenceasanexplosionshakestheground.Ilookoutthe

windowtoseemylabinflames.“Okay,maybeIdoneedsomeprotection.”

CHAPTER4

Tegan

I wake up in the hospital wing of the Foundation offices. I’ve been here before, so I’m not too

disorientated.Untilitallcomesbacktome,andIrealizeIpassedoutbeforegettingCaleb—andEthan
—tosafety.Istarttogetup,butCaleb’svoicestopsme.

“Easy,Teeg.Youlostabunchofblood.”
I look over to see him on a chair next to my bed. Ethan’s sleeping in the recliner by the wall.

They’rebothsafe.ThankGod.Idon’tknowwhatI’ddoifeitheroneofthemhadendedupwitheven
ascratchonthemtonight.

“I’moutofdanger.Youcanunleashyourangeronmenow.”
“HesaidyoutoldhimI’magoodguy.”
“Idid.Iknewhewouldonedaywanttomeetyou.Ineededhimtoknowthatyou’reusuallypretty

decent.”

“Youcalledmeperfectbeforeyoupassedout.”
“Iusedtothinkyouwere.”
“Ithoughtyouwere,too.”
“Andthenweweren’t.”
“Youstillshould’vetoldme.”
“Yousaidyouneverwantedtoseeortalktomeagain.”
“Thisisdifferent.Ifyou’dstayed,Iwould’vebeenthereforhim.EvenifIcouldn’thavebeenthere

foryou.”

“If I’d have stayed, my parents were going to make me have an abortion. I loved him, Cal. Even

whenhewasjustthesizeofapea,Ilovedhim.Ilefttosavehim.I’ddoitagain.Everydamntime.”

“Fuck.Ididn’tknow,Teeg.Whycouldn’tyouhaveatleasttoldme?”
“When? While Delia was draped over you? Or when you were with Greg or one of your other

assholefriends?”

“If he didn’t look exactly like me, I’d have to ask if he was Greg’s son,” he tells me, practically

spittingthewordsatme.

“Getout.”
“No.”
“Getthefuckoutofmyroom,youbastard.”
Ijumpfromthebed,notcaringthatmyI.V.justrippedout.Allofthemachinesintheroomstart

beepingasthenightteamrushesin,alongwithNate.

“Teeg,whatareyoudoingoutofbed?”
“Heneedstoleave,Nate.”
“Gotit.Outyougo,Texas.”
“No.”
“Thatwasn’tarequest.”
“I’mnotleavingmyson.”

“Yeah, you are. He’s staying here until he’s ready to leave. But she wants you gone, so you’re

going.”

“Please,Teeg.Don’tmakemeleavehim.”
IwalkoverandshakeEthanawake.“Mama,”hesays,jumpinguptohugme.“Whyaren’tyouin

bed?”

“YourfatherandIwerehavingadisagreement.Ineedhimtoleave.Iwantyoutogowithhim.”
“No.”
“Yes.Heneedstobeprotected,andtheapartmentsarethemostsecureplaceinthecitynexttohere.

Showhimtheguestroom,andthenstaytherewithhim.Ishouldbehomesoon.”

“Idon’twanttoleaveyou.Youneedme.”
“Always,baby.Ialwaysneedyou.IfI’mnothometomorrow,I’llhaveoneofthegirlsbringyou

backhere,okay?”

“Idon’tthinkIhaveachoice,”hegrumbles.
Ileanclosetowhisperinhisear.“Helovesyoualready,E.Icanseeit.Ihadtenyearswithyouall

tomyself.It’sonlyfairthathehasatleastonenight.”

Hehugsmetighter,beforenoddingandlettingmego.“Iloveyou,Mama.”
“Iloveyoumore,E.”
“Let’sgo,Father,”hesays,rollinghiseyesatCaleb.Ohyeah,he’sdefinitelyourkid.

***

Caleb

It’snotafunridetowhereTeganlives.NotonlyisEthanignoringmebylisteningtomusicwith

hisheadphoneson,butsoisthepersonsittingnexttomeinthedriver ’sseat.“Ithoughtwewerekind
offriends,Jade.”

“YoupissedTeganoffenoughtohaveherripoutherI.V.”
“I’mpissed,too.IhaveasonIwasnevertoldabout.”
“Igetthat,Caleb,butattackingherisonlygoingtomakethingsworseforyouwithE,andallof

us,insteadofhelpingyoubuildarelationshipwithhim.Hewillneverchooseyouoverher.”

“I’mnottryingtotakehimfromher.Ijustdon’twanttomissanythingelseinhislife.AndIwantto

gettoknowhim.Knowallabouthim.”

“He’s an amazing kid,” she says, glancing at me briefly. “He’s never lacked anything, including

goodmalerolemodels.”

“YoumeantheguysTegansleepsaroundwith?”
IaskitbeforeIcanstopmyself.BeforeIcankeepthebitternessoutofmyvoice.Jadeslamsonthe

brakessofast,Ialmostgetwhiplash.Luckilythere’salmostnooneonthisstretchofroad.

“Imaykindoflikeyou,Caleb,butIwillnothesitatetohurtyou.IthoughtI’dmadethatclear.Do

notspeakabout—orto—Teganwithanythinglessthanrespect,oryou’regoingtobereallysorry.”

“Whatdidhesayabouther?”Ethanasksfromthebackseat.
Iturntolookathim,tryingtolookapologetic,eventhoughI’mnot.WhatIsaidwastrue,whether

anyonewantstoacknowledgeitornot.“JustsomethingdumbthatIshouldn’thave.Sorry,E.”

“Ethan.Toyou,IamEthan.”
“UntilIearnanythingelse,right?”
Hedoesn’tanswer,justputshisheadphonesbackonwhileglaringatme.Jadepullsbackontothe

road and finishes the drive. Once we’re past all the security in the building, and I’ve had my
fingerprintsandretinascannedinsoIcanmovearoundthebuildingbymyself,Ifinallyseewhere

mysonlivesforthefirsttime.Ofcourseitcomescompletewithanon-welcomingcommittee,butI
should’veexpectedthat.

Ethan is immediately engulfed in hugs by all the men and women who are waiting for us in the

apartment. The women are gorgeous, and the men, well, I recognize some of them and my mouth
dropsopen.TheseareTegan’sfriends?

ALatinawomanwholookstobeinherearlythirties—andissexyashell—startstosteptowards

me, but stops. “Go ahead and fangirl, Audrey. He needs to see one friendly face before we get
started,”awomanIrecognizefromrecentnewsreportsasReinaCorrigantellsher.

Fangirl? She looks familiar, but I can’t remember meeting her before. “Hi, Audrey. Why would

youfangirlme?Doyouknowmyfamilyorsomething?”

“Icouldgivetwoshitsaboutyourfamily.It’syourbrainI’minaweof.I’vebeenfollowingyour

progressonthealternatefuelsystemforyears.”

Thenitclicksforme.“Wait.You’reAudreySanchez,aren’tyou?”
“Yeah.Andifyou’veheardofme,you’veprobablyheardofIsabelleCarlton,too.”
A sweet looking girl with a long blonde braid gives me a half-wave, as my mouth drops open.

“Holyshit.You’reTegan’sfriends?”

“Idon’tthinkIlikethewayyousaidthat.WhyareyousoshockedthatTeganhassmartfriends?

She’sprettydamnbrilliantherself,”MattCorrigantellsme.

“IamwellawareofhowbrilliantTeganis.Ijustdidn’tknowsheknewsomanyacademicpeople,

andwell,athletes.”

“Slowdownontheattacksforaminute,everyone,andlethimhaveamomenttobreathe,”avoiceI

recognizesays.

“Candi! Oh my God, it’s great to see you,” I tell her as she comes forward and hugs me. I look

aroundandseeanotherfriendlyface.“Liv?You’repregnant?”

“How’dyouguess?”sheaskswithalaugh.“I’mdueanydaynow.”
“Wow.That’sgreat.Reallygreat.”
“Howdoyouknowthisasshole,Candi?”awomanwithhairthat’sevenbrighterthanTegan’sasks.
“I shot family portraits for him and his family last year, Darcy. I didn’t know at the time how he

wasconnectedtoTegan.”

“Atthetime?Don’tyoumeantoday?”Iaskher.
“No.TeegcamebythestudiowhileIwasgoingoveryourshots.Sheturnedwhiteasaghostand

toldmewhoyouwere.WhenEthanmovedin,Ilethimpickhisfavoritephotoofyou,andwehungit
inhisroomhere.”

“Youhaveapictureofmeinyourroom,E-Ethan?”Iask,myheartsoaring.
“Itwasmymama’sidea.ShesaidIshouldseeyoueveryday,evenifitwasjustinapicture.”
Ifeellikemyheartjuststopped.I’mhumbled,trulyhumbled,thatTeganwouldmakesureIwasa

partofhislife.Shekepthimfrommephysically,butshelethimknowaboutme.Shedidn’thaveto
dothat,butshedid.I’mnotsurethatIwould’vedonethesamething.

“I’dlovetoseeyourroom.”Itellhim,swallowingpastthelumpinmythroat.
“Whatever,”hesays,headingtowardsthestaircase.
“He’llcomearound,Caleb.He’sjustprotectiveofTegan.Weallare.”
InodatCandi,saygoodbyetoeveryoneelse,andthenfollowmysonupthestairs.Hepointstoa

door on the right and tells me I can sleep in there. I throw my bag inside before moving along the
hallway.Hestopsoutsideanotherdoor,andIknowit’shisroom.Notjustbecausehisnameisspray
paintedinacooldesignontheoutside,butbecauseIseethewarinsidehimplayingacrosshisface.
Hedoesn’tknowifhe’sreadytoletmein—tohisheart,orhisroom.

And as much as it hurts me, I get it. I really do. I may be his biological father, but I’m also a

strangertohim.It’snotfair,butIhavetoacceptthat,andtrytoearnmywaytomorewithhim.

“Whydon’tyoujustgoontobed,Ethan.We’lltalkinthemorning.”
“Iwon’teverleaveher.Youhavetoknowthat.Ifyoutrytotakeme,I’llfight.Orrunaway,”he

tellsmewithtearsinhiseyes.

“Iwouldn’ttryandtakeyoufromher.Ipromise.Ijustwanttobepartofyourlife,too.”
“Youcan’thurther,either.Everyonethinksshe’stough,orjustlotsoffun.ButIhearhercrying

sometimeswhenshethinksI’masleep.Iknowshe’scryingforyou.”

Justgutmewhydon’tyou,kid.“IpromiseyouthatIwilldoeverythinginmypowertonothurt

yourmama.”

“She’sthebestmamaever.”
“Idon’tdoubtthatforonesecond.”
“Youcanseemyroomnow.”
He opens the door, and we walk inside. I see the photos first, maybe because I was looking for

them.ThereareblackandwhitepicturesofmeandTegandominatingthewallacrossfromhisbed.
Thepicturehechoseisalsomyfavorite.I’mwearingacowboyhat,whichisrareforme,andstaring
outatthefields.Tegan’sphototakesmybreathaway.She’salsowearingacowboyhat,andshehasa
bigsmileonherface.She’ssodamnbeautifulthatithurtstoevenseeherlikethatinapicture.Ican’t
stopmyselffrommovingforwardandtouchingherface.

“She’stheprettiestgirlever.”
“Yeah,buddy.Shereallyis.”
I give myself a mental shake, and then take in the rest of his room. It’s really big and about the

coolestkidsroomI’veeverseen.He’sgotanormalplatformbed,buthisdeskisprettyhigh-techand
coveredinseveralcomputersthatareindifferentstatesofrepair.He’sgotabasketballhoopandeven
abattingcageinonearea.Theotherwallsareeitherbrickcoveredingraffitiorplainwallsfullof
signedsportsmemorabilia.There’sevenasignedmovieposterfromthelatestbigactionmovie.

“Yourroom’sreallycool,Ethan.Iloveit.”
“Metoo.MamasaidIcouldhavewhateverIwanted,andherfriendsmadeithappen.”
“Yourmomhassomeprettygreatfriends.”
“Yep.Theyloveme,too.”
“I’m not surprised.” There’s something I need to ask, though. “Does your mama bring her

boyfriendshere?”

He cocks his head to the side before answering. “She doesn’t have boyfriends. She kisses boys

sometimes,butnothere.Inevermeetthem.Well,exceptforMiles,butsheonlykissedhimonce,and
nowhe’smarriedtoAlexwho’soneofherbestfriends.Oh,andWayne.They’vekissedmorethan
once,andIknowhewantshertobehisgirlfriend.You’llmeethimtomorrowwhenhecomestogive
meaguitarlesson.”

Miles Corrigan, huh? Damn. He’s one of the best baseball players ever. I’d be lying if I said I

wasn’tjealous,evenifheishappilymarriedtosomeoneelsenow.AndwhothefuckisthisWayne
guy?IguessI’llfindouttomorrow.AllIknowisthathecan’thaveher.NotwhenIhavethechanceto
makeallmydreamscometrue.Iwon’tletanyone—includingme—standinmywaythistime.Which
meansIbetterstoppissingheroff,evenifIdohavearighttobeangry.

***

Tegan

StellaandKaceinsistedondrivingmehometoday,eventhoughItoldthemI’mfine.Yeah,Ilosta

little blood, but the bullet didn’t do any other real damage, and I’ve got most of my strength back
already.ButIknowbetterthantoarguewithmybestfriend,sohereweare,allarrivingatmyplace
together.

I walk in to see most of my friends, along with balloons and tables of food. “Welcome home,

Teeg,”Waynesaysashewalksupandenvelopesmeinhisstrongarms.

Ihughimback,butwhenhetriestokissme,Igivehimmycheek.“Don’t,Wayne.”
“Ohcomeon.Mr.Uptightneedsalittleshow.”
Shit.IwassoexcitedtoseeeveryonethatIalmostforgotCalwashere,andIdefinitelyforgotthat

todaywasaguitarlessonday.“Whatdidyousaytohim?”

“I might have led him to believe that we’re currently more than just good friends. E had already

toldhimthatwe’vekissed,whichI’msurehefiguredoutiscodeforbangedeachother ’sbrainsout.”

“Damnit.”
“He’stheone,right?‘TheOne?’”
“Yeah.”
“He’sjealousashellofme.SolikeIsaid,let’sgivehimashow,”hesaysasheturnshisheadagain.
“No.I’mnotplayinggames.Ifhewantsme,thenheneedstosayit.I’mnotgoingtopretendthat

I’mwithyoujusttogetareactionoutofhim.”

“YouknowIwishitwasn’tpretend.”
“AndyouknowI’dmakeitrealifitwasinmetodothat.”
“Yeah,Ido.Hebettermakeyouhappythistimearound,orhe’sadeadman.”
“Hey,quithoggingthewomanofthehour,dude,”Bretttellshim.
They’rebothintheboybandStorysidewithKace.WemetwhenStellawasundercover.Wayneand

Ihadsexafewtimes,butwhileitwasjustadistractionforme,hefellformealittle.I’mmakingit
mymissiontofindhimaworthygirlnowthatwe’regoodfriends.

“HiBrett,I’vemissedyou.”
“Nowthatourtourisover,you’llseesomuchofmeI’llmakeyousick.”
“Um,no.You’restillgoingtobebusynowthatyou’rehome,”hisboyfriend,Kevin,tellshimwith

akiss.

“Justtryandstopbyatleastoncewhileyou’rehere.Bothofyou.”
“Wewill,MissT.Youknowweloveyou,”Kevintellsme.
Iwanderaroundandvisitwitheveryoneelse,laughingandeatingfood.Tomorrowwegetbackto

thebusinessoftryingtofigureoutwhowantsCalebdead,buttonightisforfun.OratleastitisuntilI
realize that Cal is nowhere to be seen. I excuse myself, and head upstairs. I knock on his door, and
whenheanswers,Iwalkinside.

“Hey,whatareyoudoinguphere?I’veneverknownyoutonotfitrightinwithanyoneyoumeet.”
“Wedon’treallyknoweachotheranymore,though,dowe?”
“Idon’tbelievethateitheroneofushasfundamentallychangedwhoweare.”
“What? You think we’re like this apartment you’ve decorated to be modern, but still have some

touchofcountryinit?”

IlookaroundatthelightbluewallswithblackandwhitephotosoftheHallRanchthatCandigave

me,thenatthesteelbedwithacomfortercoveredinspursandhorseshoes.Therestoftheapartment
islikeit,too.

“Iguess.Kindof.Ididn’tthinkofthatwhenIdecorated.Ijustlikemodernthings,butImissed…

well,you.IwantedapieceofTexasherewithme.”

“AllIwantedtodowastryandforgetyou.Itnevercompletelyworked,butItried.”
“That’swhyyoudresslikeyou’refromthecity.”

“Yeah.”
“Anyway,you’remorethanwelcometocomeandhangout.Myfriendswillbecoolwithyou.”
“I-I’mjustreallyconfusedrightnow.ForsolongItriedtohateyouwhilestilllovingyousomuch

itmadeithardformetobreathe.Then,whenJadesaidshewasyourfriend,allIcouldthinkabout
wasseeingyouandbeingwithyouagain.UntilIfoundoutaboutEthan.Iamsofuckingangryabout
you keeping me from my son that I can barely see straight. But when I saw you hugging and
whisperingwithWayne,Iwantedtoriphimapart.Iwasreadytoforgiveyouforwhatyoudidyears
ago,butIdon’tknowifIcanforgiveyoufornow.Ijustdon’t.”

“IgettheEthanpart.Therest…well,you’veneverknownthewholestory,andIguessifyoucan’t

forgive me, you never will. I’ve asked Ryan and Chloe Griffin to transform one of the empty
apartmentshereintoalabforyou.Ifiguredyou’dwanttowork.Theycanaddinabedroomforyou
if it would make you more comfortable to be out of my apartment while we find whoever ’s after
you.”

“IneedtobenearEthan.Ican’timaginebeingawayfromhimforevenanight.”
“Thenmakeyourselfathome.Whateveryouneed,youjustletEknow,andhe’llhavesomeoneget

itforyou.I’llstayawayfromyouasmuchaspossible.”

“Thankyou.”
Ijustnodbeforewalkingoutthedoor.Imanagetomakeitdownthehallandintomyroombefore

fallingover.MybodyisshakinghardasIsob,andthistime,itismyfault.

CHAPTER5

Caleb

It’sbeenalmostaweeksinceTegancamehome,andshe’skeptherwordaboutstayingawayfrom

me,exceptfordinner.Wespendeverydinnertogether,likeanormalfamily.Shecooks,makingsure
tonevermakeanythingweateaskids.Iknowshe’sdoingitonpurposebecauseEthan’sbeenasking
forbarbeque,butshekeepssayingno.WhichiswhyI’vedecidedtotakeoverdinnerfortonight.

I’ve got the meat marinated and ready for the grill on her balcony. Well, balcony’s an

understatement.Youcouldprobablyfitasmallapartmentouthere.Thiswholebuildingisprettymuch
astructuralmasterpiece,andI’vebeenexploringasmuchofitaspossiblewhileIwaitformylabto
be done. That’s coming along at record speed, and honestly, Tegan wasn’t joking when she said I
couldaskforanything.I’mfranklyinaweofherandherfriends.Well,mostlyher.WhichiswhyI
wantedtomakedinnertonight.

“Mama’sgoingouttonight,”Ethansaysashecomesoutontothebalcony.
“What?Goingoutwhere?”
Heshrugs.“Dancingorsomething.”
“Doesshedothisalot?Goout?”
“No,Idon’t,”Tegananswersmeasshewalksoutside.
She’sinasexyblackdressthat’sgotmehardwithinseconds.It’sgotahalternecklineandhugsher

curvesallthewaydowntotheasymmetricalhemline.Iwanttopeelitoffherbodywithmyteeth.

“Good.”
“Excuseme?IfIwantedtogoouteverynight,itwouldn’tbeanyofyourdamnbusiness.”
“Uh,yeahitwould.Youshouldn’tbejustleavingEthanherealone.”
“I’mnot.”
“WhenIhavemylabupandrunning,Iwon’tbeabletojustrunuphereatthedropofahatsoyou

cangowhoreitupatclubs.”

“Ethan, baby, please go to your room. Ainsley and Zack are coming over to hang out with you

whileI’mgone.”

“Icantakecareofmyson.Idon’tneedanyoneelsesleepingoverwithhim.”
“Mama?”
“Goahead,E.”
Hehugsherbeforeglaringatmeashewalksbackinside.Teganwatcheshimgo,andthenturns

backtome.

“Youwillnot—atanytime—speaktomelikethat.WhetherEthanisaroundornot.Itookitfrom

you when I was sixteen, but I won’t now. Whether I go out once, or a hundred times, I am not a
whore.”

Ishouldshutup.IknowIshould.Butit’smakingmecrazytothinkabouthergoingout.Especially

whenshe’sdressedlikethat.“Doyoupreferslut?”

“I will give you until the morning to gather your things and get the fuck out of my apartment. I

don’tcarewhereyougo,butyouneedtobegonetomorrow.”

“Ithoughtitwasn’tsafeformeoutsideofthisplace.”
“It’snotsafeforyouinsideofthisapartmentanylonger.”
“You’rejustMotheroftheYear,aren’tyou?”
Idon’tevenseethepunchcoming,asEthanlauncheshimselfatme.Ifallwithhimontopofme.

He’shittingmehardandscreamingatme.IttakesTeganlessthanaminutetopullhimoffme,butI
canalreadytastethebloodinmymouth.Thekid’sgotagreatarm.

“Ethan,calmdown.Whyareyououthere?Itoldyoutogotoyourroom.”
“Iknewhewasgoingtosaymorebadthingstoyou.Hecan’tdothat.Iwanthimtoleavetonight.”
Damnit.Ireallyfuckedupthistime.“Ethan,I’msorryyouheardthat.”
“Youshouldbesorryyousaidit.Arealmandoesn’tcallawomanthe‘S’word,evenifshedoes

liketokissmen.”

“Amen,E,”ZackTaylorsaysashewalksinwithhisfiancée,Ainsley,andtakesinthescene.“I’m

goingtogooutonalimbandguessthatwehaveaproblemhere.”

“Justadisagreement.Wedon’tneedyouhere,”ItellhimasIgettomyfeet.
“Teganhityou,soI’dsayit’smorethanjustadisagreement.”
“Ihithim,”Ethantellshim.“Hewascallinghernamesbecauseshewantstogoouttonight.”
“Sinceyou’restayinghereandlettingyourselfbeprotected,Ididn’tthinkyouhadadeathwish,”

Ainsleytellsme,asshepullsagunoutofherpurse.

“Enough. I-I…can’t do this. Ethan, you’re going to stay here with your dad tonight while I go…

somewhereandfigureoutasolution.I’llbebackinthemorning.”

“Youcanstaywithus,Teeg,”Ainsleytellsher.
“Thanks,butIreallyneedtobealone.”
“Idon’twanttostayherewithhim.”
“Iknow,E.Butnomatterwhathappens,he’sstillyourfather.Hedeservessometimewithyou.I’m

goingtogopackabag.”

She apologizes to her friends for having them come over for no reason and then goes upstairs.

AinsleyandZackhugEthan,andtotallyignoremebeforeleaving.

“Ihateyou.”
“Allkidssaythattotheirparentsatsomepoint,soI’mnotgoingtotakethatpersonally.”
“Youshould.Youtoldmeyouwouldn’thurther.”
“IsaidI’dtrymybestnotto.”
“Thatwasn’ttrying.Oryourbest.”
Noitwasn’t,andIneedtoownit.Iwasjealous,andIlashedout.Ideservewhathedishedoutto

me,andmore.Ineedtotellhimthat.

“Iwasjealous,Ethan.Itdoesn’texcusewhatIsaid,butthat’swhyIdidit.Idon’twantyourmom

kissinganyoneelsewhenI’mrighthereandshecouldkissme.”

“Whywouldshewanttodothat?Soyoucanleaveheragainwhenanotheroneofyour‘friends’

tellsyousomelieabouther?Youdon’tdeserveherkisses,oranythingelse.Notwhenyou’retaking
hertears.”

Well,damn.Schooledbymykid,onceagain.AndIknowhe’sright.I’vebeenlookingtopunish

Tegan,butI’mnotentirelyblameless,either.

“Canyougoaskhertostay?I’llfinishmakingdinnerforallofusandapologizetoher.IknowI

waswrong.”

“I’llask,butdon’tholdyourbreath.”

***

Tegan

Itshouldn’tbetakingmethislongtopackonestupidovernightbag.Iknowit’snotaboutthebag,

though.I’mtryingtocalmdownenoughtogobackouttherewithoutfreakingEthanoutevenmore
thanhealreadyis.I’mastrong,powerfulwoman,yetwhenCalebcalledmethosenames,IfeltlikeI
wasascaredandpregnantsixteenyearoldgirlagain.Iwon’tlethimbreakmethistime.Ican’t.

There’saknockatmydoor,andEthanwalksin.“Mama,don’tgo.Please.Hesaidhe’llapologize

andmakeusalldinner.It’syourfavorite.Barbeque.”

“Iknow,baby.Isawthefoodwhenwewereoutside.”
“Hewantstokissyou.”
“What?”Iask,finallyturningaroundtolookatmyson.
“That’swhyhewassomean.Hewasjealous.Idon’twantyoutokisshim.Hedoesn’tdeserveit.”
“IfandwhenIletyourfatherkissme,itwillbemydecision.Iloveyou,E,butIhavetomakethat

choicemyself.”

“Thatmeansyou’regoingto.”
“Youcan’thithimagain.That’sunacceptable.”
“Hecan’ttalktoyoulikethat.”
“Imeanit,Ethan.”
“SodoI.”
“I’mtheparenthere.Thisisn’tanegotiation.Orademocracy.”
“Wewerefinewithouthim.”
“MaybeI’dbelievethatifIhadn’tseenthetwoofyoutogether.”
“Whatever.SoIlikehavinghimhere.Butnotifithurtsyou.”
“Hehasarighttobeangryatme.”
“And you have a right to be angry at him. You’re not going around calling him bad names,

though.”

“Ididthatforalotofyears.Idon’thavetheenergytodoitnow.”
“Youneverdiditinfrontofmelikehedid.”
“Ifyou’dgonetoyourroomlikeyouweretold,youwouldn’thaveheardit.”
“Hesaidthe‘W’wordbeforeyoutoldmetoleave.”
“You’restillbeingpunished.Novideogamesforaweek.”
“Fine,”hesayswithhisarmscrossedandhisexpressionstillstormy.
“Iknowitis.Nowgodownstairsandhelphimwithdinner.I’llbedownafterIchange.”
“Youshouldleaveyourdresson.Helikesit.”
“Ithoughtyoudidn’twantmetokisshim.”
“Idon’t,butsinceyou’regoingtoanyway,youmightaswelllookpretty.”
“Idon’tlookprettyinjeansandat-shirt?”
“Thisisoneofthoselifelessonsabouttalkingtogirls,isn’tit?I’msupposedtosayyoulookpretty

nomatterwhat,right?”

“Yes,that’sexactlywhatyou’resupposedtosay.”
“Mama,youarethemostbeautifulgirlever,”hesays,battinghiseyesatme.
Ipullhimtomeandhughimtight.“Goon,now.Andyou’restillonpunishment.”
“Iknow,butitwastotallyworthit.”
Helaughsallthewayoutoftheroom.Idebateforanothertenminutes,decidingwhetherIshould

keepthedressonornot.IfinallydecidetochangedespiteknowingI’mprobablygoingtokisshim
eventually if he starts acting like the decent man I know he is; I also know that’s not going to be
tonight.Tonight,myanger ’sstillrunningthroughmyveins,sosweatsandat-shirtitis.

“Thatsmellsgood,”IsayasIwalkdownstairs.
“Youchanged,Mama.”
“Idid.”
“Ilikedthedress,Teeg.Ow.”
Ethan’sglaringathim,afterelbowinghimintheribs.“You’resupposedtotellhershelookspretty

nomatterwhatshe’swearing.”

“Iam,huh?”
“Yep.Itoldhershewasthemostbeautiful,butI’mstillonpunishment.”
“What’sthesentence?”
Oh,shit.“I’msorry,Cal.Ishould’veconsultedwithyou.I’mjustnotusedtohavingsomeonedo

thiswithme.”

“Yourchoice,notmine.”Heremindsme,havingtogetanotherdigin.Thelookonmyfacecauses

himtobacktrackalittle.“Butit’sokay.Justletmeknowwhathecan’tdo.”

“Novideogamesforaweek.”
“Gotit.CanIaddsomething,though?”
“Sure.”
“You’regoingtokeepyourroomandbathroomcleanfromnowon.”
“Martacleansupafterme.”
“Notanymore.Youneedtolearntocleanupafteryourself.”
“Heknowshow,”IsaywithalittlemorebitethanIshould.
“I’mnotattackingyourparentingskills.He’sjustgotiteasy.Heshouldknowabouthardwork.You

andIbothhadtokeepourownroomscleangrowingup.I’dlikehimtodothataswell.”

“You’rerich.Iknowyouhaveservants,”Ethantellshim.
“Iam,andIdid.ButIwasalwaysexpectedtocleanupaftermyselfandnotgiveanyoneelseextra

workjustbecauseIwasbeinglazy.”

IforcemyselftobitemytongueandnotdefendEthan.Caleb’sright.I’vetaughtoursonalotof

greatthings,buthislifeiseasierthaneitheroneofourseverwas.Itshouldbeeasier,butcleaningup
hisownroomisn’ttoomuchtoaskofhim.

“I’mnotlazy.TellhimI’mnotlazy,”hedemands,lookingatme.
“Youaren’tlazy,butyourdadisright.Youaremorethancapableofcleaningyourownroom.”
“Myfatherismakingmylifemiserable.”
IseethelookofhurtonCaleb’sfaceandspeakupimmediately.“EthanCalebHall,Ididnotraise

youtobealiar.We’vealreadytalkedabouthowhappyyouaretohaveyourdadhere.Don’tyoudare
tryandmakehimfeelbadforbeingagoodparent.JustbecauseheandIarenotgettingalongdoes
notmeanitisokayforyoutoberude.You’renottoooldformetoputyouovermyknee.”

“You’veneverspankedmebefore.”
“Wellnow’slookinglikeagoodtimetostart.”
“I’mgoingtoshutupnow.”
“Goodcall.”
“Youcanspankmeanytime,Teeg.Justsaying.”
“Gross,Dad.I’mgettingreadytoeathere.”
Caleb’seyesmeetmine,andwebothsmile.It’sasmallthing,andyetit’sreallynot.Thatoneword

tellsusboththatEthan’slettinghimevenfurtherin.AndthatmakesmehappierthanI’vebeenina
verylongtime.

Although I put on a brave face for dinner, I’m still not ready to forgive and forget so quickly,

whichiswhyItellthemI’mheadinguptomyroomrightafterdinner.Ethan’sdefinitelynothappy
aboutit.

“You’regoingtogocrybecauseofhim.”
“I’mgoingtogotakeanice,hotbath,andtrytorelaxalittle.That’sall,E.”
“Youneverlietome,butyou’redoingitnow.Becausehe’shere.Youdon’thavetobetoughallthe

time,Mama.Icanbestrongforyou.”

“It’snotyourjobtotakecareofme,baby.AndI’mgoingtobefine.Ipromise.Ijustneedalittle

timeformetonight,okay?HowaboutyouandmegotoDragoSistersafterschooltomorrowandget
sometreats?”

“Canwehavedinnerout,too?Justus?”
IlookoveratCaleb,wantingtopunchhimmyselfforputtingusinthissituation.Forhurtingnot

justme,butourson,too.Iwon’t,though.Someonehastotryandbethebiggerpersonatthemoment,
anditlookslikeit’sgoingtobeme.Whilethereisnoexcuseforthenameshecalledme,heisstill
themanIkeptfromhissonfortenyears.IneedtogivehimasmuchofEthanasIcan.

“How about a small after-school meal at Corrigan with me? You can do your homework in my

office while I finish some work, and then we’ll pick up treats to bring home for all of us. You and
yourdadcanhavedinnerwhileIgooutwiththegirls.”

“You’regoingout?Seriously?”Calasksme,hiseyeswide.
“Yes.Ihadtocanceltonightwhenyouhadyourlittletantrum,butIneedtohavesomefun.Ifyou

haveaproblemwiththat,thenIreallydon’tknowwhattotellyou.You’renotmyhusband,myman,
orreallyanythingtomeexceptformybaby’sdaddy.Theonlythingyouhaveasayinisourson.”

Hisjawclenches,andhisnostrilsflare,buthenods.“You’reright.Havefun.”
“Iwill.”
IhugandkissEthanandthenheaduptomybath.Idon’tcrybecauseIdidn’treallyloseanything

today. Yes, I had hoped that things would be different for Caleb and me this time around, but his
behavior is nothing new. Which means that we won’t be either. We’re the same old kids, just with
killersandakidtokeepthefocusoffofhowmuchwe’retryingtohurteachother.Lovetrulyisa
battlefield.

CHAPTER6

Tegan

I was stuck on a call with one of my contacts in Texas, so Nate went to get Ethan for me. I look

around as I wait for them, wondering what Cal would think if he saw my office. He already made
those comments about my apartment. My office isn’t a blend of modern and country. It’s all old-
schoolcountry,completewithGeorgeStraitandRandyTravisonthewalls.IalsohaveLukeBryan
upthere,andmygirlTaylorSwift,butit’scountryalltheway.Leatherandcowhide,amapofTexas
onthefloor,andIevenhavemyfavoritesaddleoverbythewindow.It’smyownlittlepieceofhome,
anodtowheremyhearthasalwaysbeenandprobablyalwayswillbe,evenifthingsneverworkout
withmeandCaleb.

“Hi,Mama,”Ethansays,runningin.
“Hi,baby.Howwasschool?”
“Itwasfun.I’lltellyouallaboutitwhileweeat.Comeon,Ineedaquesadilla,”hesays,practically

pullingmefrommychairasIlaugh.

It takes a little while to make it to the cafeteria since everyone has to stop us for hugs and high

fives.EveryonehereatCorrigan&Co.lovesEthan.NotjustusFoundationgirls,buttheregularstaff
whohavenoideawhatwereallydo,haveallgrowntolovemyson.Infact,wegetnolessthanfive
requeststojoinpeopleattheirtablesoncewewalkintothecafeteria.

Wepolitelydeclineandheadforthefood.Thisplaceislikeagiantfoodcourtwitheverytypeof

food you could possibly want being offered. I grab some crab stuffed shrimp while E gets his
quesadilla,andthenwemeetatalittletablefortwobythewindows.

“SonowdoIgetarecapofyourawesomedayatschool?”
“Howdoyouknowitwasawesome?”
“Todayisscienceday.That’syourfavorite,”Itellhimwithasmile.Likefather,likeson.
“Itis,”hesays,bitinghislipandlookingnervous.
“What’sup?”
Helooksaroundbeforehisgazefinallylandsbackonme.“Iwaswonderingif…he…wouldhelp

mewithmysciencefairproject.”

“He?”Iask,knowinghemeansCal,butwantinghimtoacknowledgehisfather.
“Youknow,myda-father.Myfather.”
“I’msureyourdadwouldlovetohelpyou.Youcancallhimthat,Ethan.Itwon’tupsetme.”
“Hewasmeantoyoulastnight.”
“Yes.Hewas.I’mnotgoingtoargueaboutthat,ortrytodefendhim.Webothknowthatnoone

shouldusethosewordshesaidtome.Butnomatterwhathappenswithus,youdeserveyourdad.And
hedeservesyou.Period.Noquestionsasked.Lethimin,E.”

Helooksawayagain,andIseetearsstarttoforminhiseyes.“IthinkIlovehim,Mama.”
“Thatmakesmehappy,”ItellhimasIreachovertosqueezehishand.
There’snomoreserioustalkaswefinishourlunchandgobacktoourwork.Istillhaven’tbeen

abletotrackdownwho’safterCal—Dee’snottalking,andweknowshe’snottheringleader—butI’m

hopingwe’llgetabreaksoon.Besideswantingtokeephimsafe,Ialsoneedhimtobeabletoleave
theapartments.IknowI’llstillseehimeverydaysincehedoesn’twanttobeawayfromEthan,but
knowinghe’sdownthehallfrommeismakingithardtosleep.I’dhaveabettershotatconvincing
himtomoveifhecouldtakeEoutside.

Once I’ve done all I can for the day, we pack up and drive over to Drago Sisters. It’s out of our

way,butdefinitelyworthit.IbuyanassortmentofthingsandchatwithElizaandDoreenforafew
minutes.Ethanpracticallyfliesoutoftheelevatoroncewe’rehome,andIcan’thelpbutsmileathow
excitedheistoseeCal.

Ihangbackacoupleofminutes,toletthemgreeteachotherandalsotopsychmyselfuptoseethe

manIlove.Ireallyneedthisnightouttonight.No,whatIreallyneedistogetlaid.I’veneverhada
problembeingaskedintosomeone’sbed,sobyearlymorning,Ishouldbefeelingmorerelaxedand
abletobeinCaleb’spresencewithoutwantingtoridehimbackintobeingacowboy.

When I walk inside, they’re already discussing the science project, and I have to smile. They’re

bothsoexcited,andI’mabletojustgiveaquickwavebeforerunninguptomyroom.Ithrowona
nudecoloreddressthathasanoverlaydottedwithpinkflowers.It’sshort,andsexierthanitsounds.
Pairedwithhotpinkheelsandjustahintofmake-up,thisdressisadefinitewinner.

“WowMama,youlookbeautiful,”Ethantellsme.Iraiseaneyebrow,sohecontinues.“Imean,you

alwayslookbeautiful.Imean…darn…thisgirlstuffishard.”

“Tellmeaboutit,buddy.”
“Firstlesson,Caleb.Removethosewordsyou’resofondoffromyourvocabulary,”Itellhimwith

morethanalittlebiteinmyvoice.

“Havefun,”Ethantellsme,comingovertohugme.Iknowhe’sdiffusingwhatcouldbeanother

uglysituation,andI’mtrulysorrythatIputhiminthepositionhe’sin.

“Iwill.I’msorry.”
“Forwhat?”
“Formakingyouplaypeacemaker.That’snotyourjob.You’resupposedtojustbeakid.”
“Iamjustakid.Yourkid,andhis.I’mnotgoingtodreamaboutsomehappyendingwherewe’llall

beafamily.Ijustwantyoutobehappy.Bothofyou,”hesays,turningtolookatCaleb,who’sgotten
tohisfeetandiswalkingovertous.

“I’llwalkyourmamatotheelevatorandberightback,okay?”
Ethanlooksatme,andInod.I’mnotsurethatI’mreadyforwhateverCalhastosay,butit’sbetter

ifithappenswhenwe’realone.Heholdsthedoorformeandfollowsmeintothehall.

“Goaheadandsaywhatyouneedto.”
“IjustwanttosaythatIhopeyouhavefun,andI’mwonderingifyou’recominghometonight.”I

starttospeak,butheholdsupahand.“I’mnotaccusingyouofanything,Ijustneedtoknowwhether
tomakeEthanbreakfastinthemorning,orifyou’llbeheretodoit.”

Saturdays are a big breakfast day for us. I’m guessing Ethan’s told him that I make him a big

countrybreakfasteveryweek.“I’llbehomebeforebreakfast.That’sallIcanpromiseyou.”

“Seeyouthen.”
“Bye.”

***

Caleb

WhenTegancamedownstairsinthatdress,Iwantedtokisshersobadthatithurt.Ivaluemylifea

littletoomuch,soIdidn’t.ButIwantedto.Instead,Itoldhertohavefunaftershebasicallyconfirmed

thatshe’sgoingtofucksomeoneelse.ThenIcamebackinsideandhavebeenputtingonagoodfront
formyson.OratleastIthoughtIwasdoingagoodjob.

“It’syourownfaultifshekissesanotherguytonight.”
“Iknow.”
“No,youdon’t.Imean,yeah,youscrewedupyesterday,butyoucould’veinvitedMamaonadate,

andIthinkshewould’vesaidyes.”

“Ihatetoinsultyourintelligence,buddy,butI’mstuckinthisbuilding.WhereexactlywouldItake

yourmomonadate?”

“The bowling alley, the theatre, the ice rink, the game room, the indoor beach. Heck, you could

eventakehertothebattingcages.”

“Excuseme?”
“IknowMamagaveyouaccesstothewholebuilding.Haven’tyoulookedaround?”
“Alittle,butnotmuch.Ifigureditwasalljustanormalapartmentbuilding.”
“Youknowwhatmymomandherfriendsdo,andyoustillthoughttheywouldliveinsomeboring,

normalapartmentbuilding?”

Whenheputsitthatway,I’mtheonewholooksdumb.“Yeah,”Isay,weakly.
Hejustshakeshishead,andwebothlaughaswehearthefrontdooropen.Teganwalksin,barefoot

withhershoesdanglingfromherfingers.IstandupandtakeafewstepsbeforeIcanstopmyself.

“Oh,umhi.Ithoughtyouguyswouldbehangingoutdownstairsorsomething,”shetellsus,her

eyeswide.

“Daddidn’tevenknowaboutthedownstairs.Hehasn’tlookedaroundthereatall.”
“Really?”
“Yeah.IalreadyknowI’mprettydumb,soyoucansaveyourcomments.”
“No, I really can’t. I mean, you’re Mr. Super Scientist, and yet you weren’t even a little curious

aboutourbuilding?”

“IthoughtI’dfindaweightroomandmaybeapool.”
Thesideofhermouthquirksupintoasmile.“It’ssomuchbetterthanthat.”
“SoI’vebeentold.”
“Letmechange,andthenwecangoplayinthegameroom.”
“IthoughtIcouldn’tplayvideogames,”Ethantellsherwithasmirk.
“Youcan’t,”shetellshim,handsonherhips.“Youcanplayskee-balloranyoftheothernon-video

game,though.Oryoucanjuststayherebyyourself.”

Helooksbetweenus,andsmilesagain.“I’llstayhere.”
ThesmilefallsfromTegan’sfaceastheoneonminegrows.Ohyeah,thekid’sonmysidenow.

Scoreonefordad.

“Areyousick,E?Youneverturndownthegameroom.”
“He’snotsick,he’sjustbeingagoodlittlewingman.”
There’sthatarchedeyebrowthatsomehowmanagestomakemeharderthanI’vebeensinceIwas

sixteen.“Wingman?Areyoutryingtogetagirl,Cal?”

“No.I’mtryingtogetawoman.TheonlywomanI’veeverreallywanted.”
“Whatareyoutryingtogetatexactly?”
“Iwashopingthatmybeautifulbabymamawouldletmeholdherhand.”
“Youwanttoholdmyhand?”
“Yeah.Iwasthinkingwecouldseeifwelikeitforlike,maybe,afewhours.Then,wecouldtry

somethingelse.”

“Cal,”shesays,holdingbackasobbecausethat’salmostexactlywhatIsaidtoherwhenwewere

thirteen.

“I know I’m supposed to ask for a week, but I can’t wait that long for the rest. What do you say,

Teeg?”Iask,holdingmyhandouttoher,palmup.

Shedoesn’thesitatetoplaceherhandinmine,andthis—holdinghandswiththewomanI’vealways

loved,whileoursonrollshiseyesatme—thisreallyisthedefinitionofhappy.Wejuststareateach
otherwithsmilesonourface,untilshegivesmyhandasqueezeandlet’sgo.

“I’mgoingtochange.”
“Youdon’thaveto.”
She looks at me in my jeans and t-shirt and then down at her dress. “I’m a little overdressed for

games.”

“Ithinkyoulookperfect.”
“Whatifweplaypool,andIhavetobendover?”
“I won’t look.” I get the eyebrow again. “Okay, so I’ll totally look. But I’ll do it in a respectful

way.”

“Ugh.Comeonpeople,I’mstillhere.”
“Sorry,E,”Itellhimwithasheepishgrin.
“Yeah,yeah.I’mgoingtomyroomuntilyouguysleave.”
Weholdinourlaughteruntilhestompsupthestairs.“I’veneverhadtoworryaboutthatbefore.

Weshould’vehandledthatalittlebetter.”

“Istherereallyanygoodwaytohandlethefactthatyou’regoingtogetitonwhenitcomestoyour

kid?”

“Idon’tknowwhoyou’replanningto‘getiton’withtonight,butIcantellyouit’snotgoingtobe

me.Wecangohavesomefun,andI’llletyouholdmyhand.Maybeevenkissme,butthat’sit.Ican’t
giveyoumoreyet.”

“I’lltakewhateverIcanget.I’llhappilykissyouforhoursifyou’llletme.”
“Isaid‘maybe.’”
“We’replayingpool,sowecanjustbetonthegame.”
“WhatdoIgetifIwin?”sheasks,takingmyhand.
“Whateverthefuckyouwant.”
Sheliftsherotherhandtorunherfingerovermybottomlip.“Iguesswe’rekissingnomatterwhat

then.”

Yes!ButIhavetoknowsomethingelsebeforewegoanyfurther,beforeItakethisleapwithher

onceagain.“Youdidn’tgetthekissesyouwantedattheclub?”

“I wasn’t looking for kisses. I wanted to get laid. But all I could think about was a hipster with a

sexysouthernaccent.”

“Yougrewupwithmyaccent,Teeg.”
“AndI’vealwaysthoughtthewayyoutalkissexy,Cal.”
Shewalksoutthedooraftertossinghershoesontooneofthecouches.Ifollowhertotheelevator

andwrapmyselfaroundherfrombehindaswewait.Shestiffens,butdoesn’tpullaway.

“Allthatsexualfrustrationisstillinthere,isn’tit?Icouldhelpyougetitout.”
“Ialreadytoldyouthat’snotgoingtohappen.”
“Soyou’resayingthatyouwould’vefuckedsomerandomguy,butnotme?”
“That’sexactlywhatI’msaying.”
I’mtheonewhogoesstiffastheelevatorstops.Idon’tfightherasshemovesoutofmyarmsand

getsinside.There’sachallengeinhereyeswhenImeetthemwithmyown.HowIreacttowhatshe
justsaidisgoingtodeterminemorethanjusttonight.Iknowthat,andsodespitethejealousyraging
inme,Ismileather.

“I’mgoingtomakeyouforgetothermenhaveexisted.”

“You’recertainlywelcometotry.”
Wespendthenextseveralhoursplayingallkindsofgames.EverythingfrompooltoPac-Man.No

kissesareexchangedthough.Webothsaidwewantedtokiss,butforsomereasonwedon’t.Wehold
hands,andIlaughmorethanIhaveinthelastdecade.It’sthebestdateI’veeverbeenon,andIdon’t
wantittoend.Allgoodthingscometoanendthough,andwebothcanbarelykeepoureyesopenby
thetimewestaggerupthestairstoourrooms.

I did manage to ask her for another date tomorrow, so my mind is spinning with ideas as I fall

asleep. Sweet, sexy, naughty things. We’re going to do them all, too. I’ll beg if I have to, but I’m
havinghertomorrowifit’sthelastthingIdo.

CHAPTER7

Caleb

Holding hands with Tegan last night was pretty damn great. Over the years, I’ve forgotten how

good just holding someone’s hand can feel. Okay, not just someone. Holding her hand is what’s so
awesome,andIknowsheappreciatesmetakingthingsoldschool.

Tegan’s asked me to meet her in her home office to talk about the threats against me. I have to

admit that someone sending people to hold me at gunpoint, and then blowing up my lab, made me
takethethreatsmoreseriously.Tegan’sfriendshavepeoplewatchingovermyfamily,butIworryfor
Ethan.Andher.Istillhavenocluewhysomeonecaresthismuch,though.

“Hello,ladies,”IsayasIwalkintotheroom.
“Hi,Caleb,”Jadesays.
“Hello,”Isatellsme.She’salittlemorereserved,butsomethingtellsmenottounderestimateher.
Reinaskipsthegreetingandgetsdowntobusiness.“Haveaseat,Caleb,andwe’llgetstarted.”
ItaketheseatnexttoTeganandimmediatelygrabherhand.It’snotevenanoptionformetonot

hold it anymore. Just like I won’t be able to stop kissing her once we start to do that again. Reina
raisesaneyebrow,buttheothertwowomenjustsmileatus.

“Weneedtoknowifyoucanthinkofanyonewhomightwanttostopyourdealfromhappening,

Cal.Delia’snottalkingeventhoughwe’vegotherincustody,andthegunmanwecapturedwastoo
lowleveltoknowanything.”

I know I should be more shocked that Delia was part of the group targeting me, but once I saw

Ethan,nothingelsematteredtomeexceptforhim.Ifeelstupidfornotrealizinghowmuchshehated
me,butIdon’thaveitinmetocareallthatmuch.Ortryandlooktoocloselyatwhatthesepeople’s
motivemustbe.

“We’ve already been over this. I don’t know who else could be behind this. I mean, I’m sure the

Saudisaren’thappy,andneitheraretheotherAmericanoilcompanies,butIcouldn’ttellyouwho’s
this desperate. I mean, my formula won’t even come close to completely replacing traditional oil
usage.Atleastnotrightaway.”

“There’snoonewho’sclosetoyouthatwouldtakeahit?”Isaasksme.
“Honestly,nooneIcanthinkof.I’vebeenimmersedinmyresearchforthepastfewyears.Idon’t

socializemuch.”

“Yougotengaged,”Tegansays.
“Shewasconvenient,Teeg,andshetriedtokillmewhenIbrokeitoff.”
“Shewasalwaysafewcrayonsshortofafullbox.Andshewasinonitbeforeyoudumpedher.

Thatmuchweknowatleast.”

“Whataboutyourotherhighschoolfriends?Yousaidyouhaven’tbeensocializingmuch,butdo

youstillkeepintouchwiththem?”Reinaasksme.

“Wegetabeernowandthen,yeah.”
“Doyoutalkaboutyourwork?”
“Sometimes,butjustinbasicterms.GregandPhilaren’treallyinterestedinscience.”

“YouhangoutwithGreg?Really?You’vegottobekiddingme.”
“He’sagoodguy.”
She pulls her hand from mine and stands so fast that her chair falls over. “I can’t do this. I just

can’t.”

“Itwasyourchoicetobepartofthismission,Tegan.”
“I’mnotleavingthemission,Rei.I’mputtingastoptothis,”shesays,gesturingbetweenthetwoof

us.

“Wehaveasontogether.‘This’isn’tgoingaway,”Iremindher,feelingthelossofherhand—and

her—morethanIthoughtIwouldafteralltheseyears.

“Ethan isn’t, but the hand holding is. We’re going to behave as though we’re divorced and just

hanging out together for his sake. Greg, and whoever else from school you hang out with, won’t
comenearhim,though.Imeanit.Iwillputabulletinyoumyselfifyoubringthemaround.”

“Soyoucanhaveyourfriends,butIcan’thavemine?Justbecauseyoucheatedonmewithoneof

themdoesn’tmeanthey’rebadguys.”

Shejuststaresatme.Icanseeshewantstosaysomething,butshedoesn’t.Shejustsitsbackdown

inherchair,movingitasfarawayfrommeasshecan.Herjawisclenched,andshe’sbreathinghard,
yetshe’sbackingdown.Idon’tknowwhy,butI’mnotsureIlikeit.Iwanthertodefendherself,but
it’sobviousthatshe’snotgoingtodothat.

“Areyouokaytocontinuenow,Teeg?”Reinaasksher,lookingasconcernedasIfeel.
Shecloseshereyesandnodsbeforespeakingagain.“There’sbeennomoreactivityattheranch,

Caleb.Thepeoplewehavewithyourfamilysaythatthewholetownistalking,butnooneoutofthe
ordinaryhascometotheproperty.”

“Thankyouforprotectingthem.”
“It’sourjob,”shetellsmeinaflatvoice.
Reinawrapsupthemeetingasquicklyaspossible,lettingmeknowwhoandwhatthey’relooking

intobutnotgivingmetoomanydetails.Shealsoasksmetokeepwrackingmybrainforanythingout
oftheordinarythatsomeonemighthavesaidtome.IpromiseIwill.

Oncetheotherwomenleave,IpullmychairovernexttoTegan.She’sgotherheadinherhands

now. “They’re good guys, Teeg. You wouldn’t have slept with Greg if you didn’t think there was
somethinggoodabouthim.AndPhil’sneverdoneanythingtoyou.Well,Imean,hejoinedinwithall
ofustotormentyou,butyoudidcheatonme.”

“Firstofall,if sex happens, it takes two people. Punishing one, while being best friends with the

otherisbullshit.Second,IneedyoutogetthefuckoutofmyofficerightnowbeforeIhurtyou.”

Iseeherhandsshaking,andIknowshe’sinpain.Iwanttocomforther,oraskhermoreaboutwhy

she’s so angry, but I don’t doubt that she’d hurt me at the moment. I push my chair back and walk
away from her. I took one step forward last night, but just flew back about five hundred right now.
Theuniversekeepstellingmeweshouldn’tbetogether,andmaybeit’stimetostartlistening.

***

Tegan

Hearing that Cal still hangs out with Greg sometimes hit me like a freight train. I know I didn’t

handleitwell,butithurtmesobadly—almostasmuchasitdidallthoseyearsago—andIcouldn’t
stopmyselffromlashingout.I’mreallynotsurethatthere’safutureforus,otherthanbeingEthan’s
parents.AndI’vegottolearntobeokaywiththat.

I’ve been working for about two hours, looking back over every piece of information we have,

whenIsa’sdistresscallvibratesinmyarm.Iimmediatelyrunfromtheroomanddownthestairs.I’m
grabbing guns from the living room safe when Ethan and Caleb walk in, wrapped in towels from
theirtimeattheindoorbeach.

“What’swrong?”Ethanasksme.
“Isa’sintrouble.”
“Isn’tshewithUncleBradtoday?’
“Yes,”IsayasIgrabmybagandstarttopushpastthem.
CalebgrabsmyarmbeforeI’moutthedoor.“Myuncle,Brad?”
“Yes.Letmego.Ineedtogettothem.”
“Becareful,Tegan.Andthankyou.”
“I’mnotdoingthisforyou.”
IgetdowntothegarageasfastaspossibleandhoponmyDucati.Iknowit’llbefasterthanmycar

or truck, and right now all I can think about is getting to the Las Vegas Literacy Project offices in
time.Weputextrasecurityinplacethere,too,butitobviouslywasn’tenough.

AsIapproachthebuilding,whichisinthemiddleoftheDowntownSummerlinshoppingarea,I

seethatthedoorsareblownopen.Shit.IdrivearoundthebackwhereIseeDarcyalreadyclimbing
theoutsideofthebuilding.Hercatburglarskillsdefinitelycomeinhandyintimeslikethese.Inodat
herbeforeactivatingmycommunicationsunittoletAinsleyandherteamknowthatI’vearrived,and
headinsidethroughtheloadingdock.Thefreightelevatorisinfrontofme,andIseethatit’sbeen
disabled. She tells me they’re working on it, but whoever did this is good. Not as good as her, but
goodenoughtoslowherdown.

Idon’thavetimetowaitforher,butit’sreallynotaproblem.Darcymayhavegrownupclimbing

buildings,butIgrewupclimbingtrees.Theinsideoftheelevatorhasenoughplacesformetohold
onto, and I know I can make it up with little effort. I do attach the harness I got from one of my
saddlebagsbecauseI’mnotstupidenoughtofreeclimbinabuildingfilledwithpeoplewhoprobably
wouldn’tthinktwiceaboutkillingme.

IclimbmywaytothethirdfloorbeforeAinsleysaysshe’sgotcontroloftheelevatoragain.She

alsotellsmethateveryoneisonsix,whichisthemainflooroftheLiteracyoffices.Ihavehersend
theelevatortomeandjumponitasitascendstothefifthfloor.Ourrusehadthedesiredeffect,andI
heargunfirepingingbelowmeasIclimbtothefloorabove.Ifliptothetopofthedoorsassheopens
themremotely.

Rapid gunfire hits the wall across from me, as I wait. Ainsley starts the elevator as the gunman

peeksinside.Iswingdownandwrapmylegsaroundhim,droppinghimintotheelevatorshaft.He
getsoffafewmoreshotsashefalls,butImanagetoavoidthemasIswingoutintothelobby.Two
gunsarepointedatmeasIland,butneitherpersonseesDarcybehindtheguyonmyleftuntilit’stoo
late.Shetakeshimdown,whileIdisposeofhisfriend.

Wemakeourwayupthespiralstaircasewithourgunsdrawn,speedingupwhenwehearascream.

Iburstintotheroom,knowingthatIcan’tletanythinghappentoBrad,evenifIgethurtmyself.He
wasabigpartofthesupportsystemthatkeptmegoingduringmydarkesthours.Iowehimsomuch,
andIwon’tletanythinghappentohim.

ThefirstthingIseewhenIentertheroomisYasminGriffinlyingonthefloor.Ithoughtitwasher

scream,butIcouldn’tbesure.Isa’swithher,pressinghershirttoawoundinYasmin’sside,whilea
stunningblondeholdsaguntoBrad’stemple.Therearetwootherwomenwithgunsintheroom,but
IknowDarcycanhandlethem.

“Thepageantcalled.Itwantsitshairback,”Itelltheblonde,purposelytryingtokeepherdistracted

whileIsagetshergunout.

“Blessyourheart,”sheresponds.
“Youcancomeupwithabetterinsultthanthat,”Ireply,lettingsomeTexasbackintomyvoice.
“Ifyouwereworthmytime,Iprobablycould.”
“Youshouldn’tunderestimateme.Itneverworksoutwellforanyonewhodoes.”
“I’lltakemychances.”
“That’syourfirstmistake,”IsayasIshootherinthearm,thankingGodthatBradisabletodropto

thefloorandgetoutofthewayasallHellbreaksloose.

Faithcomesthroughthedoor,gunsblazing,leavingIsaandDarcytotakecareofYasmin.Icrack

myneckandmotionforBlondietobringit.Iknowweneedtokeepheralivetoquestionher,butI
needtofuckherupjustalittlebit.

“Whatareyougoingtodotome?”
“Hurtyou.Justlikeyouhurtmyfriend.”
“Wejustusedherasalesson.Hallwasn’tcooperating.”
“Hallmenrarelydo.”
“Ineedhisnephew.”
“Jointheclub.”
“Youwanttheformula,too?”sheasks,hereyeswidening.
“No,Ijustwanttheman.Butjustlikeyoucan’thavehisformula,Ican’thavehim.”
“MaybeIshouldbetakingyouinsteadofhisuncle.”
“Pleasetry.Prettypleasewithacherryontop.”
“You’recrazy.”
“That’soneofthenicestthingsanyonehaseversaidtome.”Atherlookofshock,Icontinue.“No,

really.You’dthinkIwasadirectdescendentofHesterPrynnewithalltheshadethrownmyway.I’d
havebeenburnedatthestakelongagoifthatkindofthingwasstilllegal.”

“Ican’tcompetewiththat.Atall.Justgoaheadandtakemein.”
“Nofight?”
“Um,no.I’mactuallyalittlefreakedoutandscaredbyyou.”
“Youkeepsayingthosenicethings,andI’llthinkyouhaveacrushonme.”
“Can someone else arrest me? Anyone else?” she looks around, pleadingly. I love messing with

pageantgirls.Alwayshave,andprobablyalwayswill.

“I’vegother,Teeg,”Faithtellsmewithalaugh.
“Fine.Takeawaymyfun.Butdon’tworry,BeautyQueen.I’llbeseeingyouagainsoon.Youcan

thinkofsomemoreprettythingstosaytomewhilewe’reapart.”

“Issheforreal?”sheasksFaithasshe’sledoutoftheroom.
“Yep.There’snotonefakethingabouther.”
IsmilecheekilyasIturnbacktoBrad.He’ssmilingrightbackatme.“Yousureknowhowtoclear

aroom,mydear.”

“I’vehadalotofpractice.”
“Iknow.”
“Areyouokay?”
“Yes.”
“I’m going to go to the hospital with Yasmin, then.” I turn to where she’s being loaded onto a

gurneybytheEMTswhoarrivedafewminutesago.“CanyoutakeBradtomyplace,Darcy?”

“I’mnotgoingintohiding.”
“Yes. You are. You’re the closest thing I’ve had to a father for the past eleven years, and I’ll be

damnedifI’mgoingtoloseyou.YoucanstayinFaith’soldplace.”

“I love you, Tegan. You’re the daughter I never had, and I would never put myself in the line of

danger.”

“Unless it was to help a kid. I get it. That’s what your support staff’s for, though. You’ve trained

everyonewell,andthey’llstepup.”

“OnlyforyouwillIdothis.”
“Thankyou.”
“Weneedtogo,Teeg,”Isatellsme.
IhugBradandfollowheroutside.Theambulancedoesn’thaveroomforme,soIgrabmybike

and follow them. Yasmin lost consciousness, so I’m really worried. She shouldn’t have been put in
this position, and Brad shouldn’t have been, either. We need to figure this out, and soon. Before
anyoneelsegetshurt.

CHAPTER8

Caleb

Ethan’s trying to pretend like he’s not worried. He keeps telling me how tough Tegan and her

friendsare,whichIalreadyknow.Icantellhe’sscared,though,andIkeeptryingtodistracthimwith
movies. I’d throw in a video game, too, but I’m not sure if I should lift his punishment, even now.
ThisparentingstuffisjustashardasIthoughtitwouldbe.Well,withallourotherissues,itmaybe
harderrightnow.

We’rebothoutofourseatsthesecondwehearthedooropening.It’sUncleBradandDarcy,and

Tegan’snotwiththem.Myheartisracinghard.Ifsomethinghappenedtoher,andthelastthingwedid
wasfight…I…Idon’tknowifIcouldsurviveit.Hell,evenifweweren’tfighting,losingherlikethat
woulddomein.

“Where’smymama?”Ethanasks,tearsinhiseyes.
“She’s fine, E. Yasmin Griffin got shot, and your mom wanted to go to the hospital with her,”

Darcysays.

“WillYasminbeokay?”
“Yes.She’llprobablyneedsurgery,butherinjurywasn’ttoobad.”
“Ishouldgotothehospital,too.Scottmightneedme.”
It’smyunclewhopullsEthanintohisarmasheanswershim.“Yourmamawantsushere,Ethan.

She’sworriedabouteveryonebeingsafe.YoucancallScottlaterandlethimknowyou’rethinking
andprayingaboutYasmin.Okay?”

“I’mworriedaboutMamatoo,UncleBrad.That’smyjob,youknow.I’mthemanofthehouse.”
Well,shit.I’dbelyingifIsaidthatdidn’tjusthitmeintheheartlikeabullet.
“Yes,youare,Ethan.Youdoawonderfuljob.Noonecoulddoitbetter.”
“Well,maybemydadcould,”hesays,makingmesmile.
“Thatwouldinvolvehimputtinghisprideasideasheremoveshisheadfromhisass.I’mnotsure

he’sreadytodothatyet.”

“Gee thanks. It’s nice to see you still have the same sense of loyalty that you did when you left

elevenyearsago.”

“Darcy,canyoustaywithEthanwhileCalebandIhaveatalkupstairs?”
“Ofcourse.Faith’sapartmentwillbeopenforyouwhenyougetthere.”
“Thanks.”
“AreyougoingtopunchhimforMama?”Ethanaskshim.
“Probably,”hereplies.
Werideuptheelevatorinsilence,andthesilencecontinuesforthefirstfewminuteswe’reinside

theapartment.Ilookaroundandtakeinthegiantkitchenthat’scoveringmostofthefirstfloor.And
thenIsubtlymoveinfrontoftheknives.Idon’treallybelievemyunclewillhurtme,butnowthatI
haveagoodideawhyheleftusallthoseyearsago,IknowthathisloyaltylieswithTegan.

“Youdon’tdeserveher,orthatboy,”hesays,finallybreakingthesilence.
“You’veknownabouthimallthistimeandnevertoldme?”

“WhenIcametovisitandbroughtuphername,youspewedsomuchvenomthatit’sawonderthe

treesdidn’tshrivelupanddie.”

“Shecheatedonme.Ilovedhermorethananything.Iwouldhavedoneanythingforher.Yetmy

lovewasn’tenoughtokeepheroutofsomeotherguy’sbed.”

“Youbelievewhatyouwanttobelieve.Youdiditthen,andyou’redoingitnow.”
“Ibelievethetruth.”
“Greg’struth?BecauseIsureasshitknowyouneveraskedTeganwhatreallyhappenedthatnight.

Whyisthat,Cal?”

“Peoplesawher.”
“Didtheynow?”
“Youobviouslythinkyouknowsomething.”
“No.I’msureIknoweverything.”
“Thenwhydon’tyouenlightenme?”
“It’snotmystory.Ifyouwantedtohearthetruth,you’daskher.ButIdon’tthinkyouwantthat.You

didn’tthen,andyoudon’tnow.Iaskedyouwhy,butI’mprettysureIknowthat,too.”

“Everyone here thinks she’s so damn wonderful and special.” So do I, if I’m being honest with

myself.

“Sheis,andyouknowthat,evenifyou’retoostupidtoadmithowmuchshemeanstoyou.Ifyou

can’taskheraboutthatnight,youneedtoletitgo.Becausethey’llbenochanceforthetwoofyouif
youdon’t.”

“HowdoyouknowIevenwantthatchance?”
“You’reright.Maybeit’sjustwishfulthinkingonmypart.Theoldromanticinme.Youdowhat

youwant,Cal.Youalwayshave,andIexpectyoualwayswill.Nomatterwhatitcostsyou.”

“I’llseeyoutomorrow.”
“Yes,youwill.Goodnight.”
I’mnotmadenoughtojustwalkout,soIwalkoverandhughim.Ilovemyuncle,andithurtwhen

he left, coming back only once or twice a year. It hurts even more that he’s taking the side of the
womanwhonearlydestroyedme.ButIknowhe’sright.Ineedtofacemydemonsandfears,orletgo
ofthem.AndthenIneedtogetmywomanback.Thenagain,maybeIneedtodothatfirst.

It’s a little too quiet when I get back into Tegan’s apartment. “Ethan,” I call out, worried all of

sudden,eventhoughIknowthisplaceissecure.

“HewenthomewithDarcyforthenight,”Tegansays,comingoutofthekitchen.
“Hey.”
“Brad’sallsettled?”
“Iguess.”
“Ethansaidhewasgoingtopunchyou,butyoulookokay.”
“Hethrewsomeemotionalpunchesatme,butnothingphysical.”
“Ineverwantedtocomebetweenyou.”
“Well,youdid.”
“Iknow.”
“Didyoueat?”
That’snotwhatIshouldbeaskingher,butI’mjustnotreadyfortheheavystuffyet.Orever.
“No.Iwasgoingtomakeasandwich.”
“Isavedyousomedinner.”
“Really?”
“Well,Ethansavedit,butIcooked.”
“Hetakesgoodcareofme.”

“Sincehe’snotheretonight,maybeIcouldfillin.”
“Whatdoyouhaveinmind?”
“Whateveryouwant.”
“Anything?”sheasksasshewalksclosertome.
“Yes,”Isay,movingtowardsheraswell.
“Iwantyoutokissme,Caleb.”

***

Tegan

Hereachesformewithouthesitation,andImeltintohimasourlipsmeetforthefirsttimesincewe

wereteenagers.It’sthesame,butalsodifferent.HislipsarejustasIremembertheminmydreams.
Soft, yet demanding. I can feel him holding back, trying to keep himself from taking control too
soon.

Itiltmyheadtoslantmylipsatadifferentangle,andthenIopenforhim,suckingathislipsuntil

hefinallygivesmehistongue,Hisscruffisrubbingagainstmyfaceasourmouthsplay.Itfeelsso
good,butIwantmore.Ineedmore.Evenifit’sjustforonenight.

Islidemyhandsunderhist-shirtandstartpushingitup.Hebreaksourkisstoreachbackandpullit

offforme.“Teeg.”

“Makemeyoursagain,Cal.Iwanttobeyours.Evenifit’sjustforonenight.”
Mywordssnapthatcontrolthathewasholdingonto,andheletsoutagrowlashepicksmeupand

carriesmetothecouch.Insteadoflayingmedown,heputsmeonmyknees,facingtheback.Thisis
definitelynew.

“If you’re going to be mine, I need to have my hands and mouth on all of you. Then I’ll put my

cockinyourpussyandfuckyouallnight.Isthatwhatyouwant?”

“Yes.God,yes.”
Heslidesmyshirtupandoffofmeandthenpullsmyjeansoff.I’mbacktokneeling,onlynowI’m

justinmylacybraandpanties.“Soverypretty.Didyouweartheseformetoday?”

“Yes,”Iadmit.
“Ilikethat,Teeg.Ilikeitalot.”
Herunsafingerdownmyarm,andIshiverunderhistouch.“Areyougoingtotakeyourjeansoff,

too?”

“Ifyouasknicely.”
“WillyoupleasetakeoffyourjeanssoIcansuckyourcock?”
“No.”
“Youdon’twantmeto?”
“Oh,Ido.ButrightnowisTeganTime.Sospreadyourlegsandshowmehowwetyouare.”
“Mypantiesarestillon.”
“These,”IsayasIgrabeachsideandpull,tearingthemrightoffher.“Arenolongeraproblem.”
“Ilikedthose.”
“You’regoingtolikemyfingersandmouthbetter.Justnotyet.”
Igroan,butitturnsintoamoanwhenhelicksapathupmyspine,removingmybraalongtheway.

Helicks,kisses,andnibblesoneveryinchofmybackbeforemovinguptomyshouldersandneck.
I’m squirming, and shaking, and he’s nowhere near the places I thought were my erogenous zones
yet.Iknowmyskin’sgoingtoberedfromallthebeardburntomorrow,butdamnifitdoesn’tfeel
good.

After biting my left earlobe as I arch my back, Caleb lets go of my hair and turns me around.

“Fuck,Teeg.Youlookgoodenoughtoeat,andI’mvery,veryhungrytonight.”

Helaysmedownandgivesmesweetkissesallovermyface,beforesuckinggentlyonmyneck.

Hekeepshishandsonthearmrestaboveme,andIknowhe’sdoingittomakehimselfascrazyas
he’s making me. It’s going to make it more explosive for both of us; although, I hate that we both
knowthat.Wedidn’tlearnitfromeachother.

“You’retensingup,”hesays,leaningbacktolookatme.
“Justthinkingtoomuch.”
“I’msupposedtobemakingyoufeelsogoodthatallyoucanthinkaboutishowmanytimesyou

cancomeinthenextseveralhours.”

“I-Ijustwishtherewasnooneelse,ever.”
“There’s no one else now. And I don’t want there to ever be anyone but us again. That’s what

matters.”

ThatrightthereisoneofthereasonsIlovethismansomuch.Heknowsjustwhattosay.Healmost

always has. I grab his face and pull his mouth to mine. He lets me be in control for a few minutes,
beforenippingmybottomlipandgivingmethatwickedhotsmileofhisagain.

His mouth descends on my collarbone, and each side gets a nice long lick. I arch my back as he

starts licking the sides of my breasts. They’re small little licks, and as he starts doing it on the
undersidesofthemtoo,Irealizeexactlywhathe’sdoing.He’slickingthesmallstretchmarksIhave
there.I’veneverbeenashamedofthem,orhiddenthem,butnoone’severworshippedthem.That’s
whathe’sdoing,heworshippingmybreasts.Inearlycomeoutofmyskin.

“Youfedoursonfromthese,didn’tyou?That’swherethesesweetlittlelinescamefrom.”
“Yes.”
“Ilovethemevenmorenow,”hetellsmeashefinallytakesanippleinhismouthandsuckshard.
Headdshisteethtothemix,andIliftoffthecouch.Ifhekeepsthisup,I’mprobablygoingtocome

beforeweevengettooneofthemainevents.Ifeelhimsmileacrossmyskinashegivestheother
nipplethesametreatment.Heknowsexactlywhathe’sdoingtome.

My ribs gets a few nibbles on them, and then the stretch marks on my stomach get the same

reverencethatmybreastsdid.I’mnearlyincoherentbythetimehebitesmyhip.Hestopsandlooks
downatmypussyasIwidenmylegstoshowhimhowwetitis.

“DoyourememberthefirsttimeIwentdownonyou,Tegan?”
“Thebarn.”
“YouscreamedsoloudthatIthoughteveryranchhandwouldcomerunning.”
“Theydid.”
“Andyoutoldthemyou’dseenaspider.Likeyouwereeverscaredofaspider.”
“WouldyouratherItoldthemthatyoumademescreamlikethatbyeatingmypussy?”
“Asafifteenyearoldboy?Hellyeah,Iwould’velovedit.”
“Areyougoingtomakemescreamagain,Cal?”
“OnceI’mdonewiththerestofyou,Isuream.”
“Therestofme?”Iaskonagroan.
I’mmorethanreadytohavehismouthonme.Ormineonhim.I’mnotpicky.Ireachforhisjeans,

buthepullsback.

“Notyourturnyet,naughtylady.”
“Youdon’twantmetobenaughty?”Iask,pouting.
“Trust me, I’m looking forward to all the naughty things you have planned for me, but I haven’t

finishedclaimingallofyou,yet.Youtoldmetomakeyoumine,andIintendto.”

He turns me over and kisses me all over the globes of my ass. He always loved my ass, and it

seemslikenothing’schanged.Well,it’salittlebigger,buthedoesn’tseemtomindthatatall.

Aftermylegsandfeethavebeenconquered,heflipsmebackoverandstartsworkinghiswayback

uptowhereIknowhewantstogo.HewantsitjustasmuchasIdo.Iseeitinhiseyeswhenhegets
thereandlooksupatme.

Hekeepseyecontactwithmeashegivesmeonelonglickupmycenter.Ibitemylip,andforce

myselftomaintaineyecontact.Iwanttowatch.Ineedtowatchashetwirlshistonguearoundmyclit
beforeplungingitinsideofme.

I hold on as long as I can, but once he plunges his fingers inside of me and uses his tongue

exclusivelyonmyclit,I’mdone.Igivehimthescreamshewants,andherewardsmebytakingme
overtwomoretimesinamatterofminutes.

“You’remine,TeganKelly.Mine.”
“Always,”ItellhimasIrearup,andpushhimdownontohisback.It’smyturnnow.
“Haveatme.”
I smirk as I get his jeans and boxers off. He still wears boxers, and I love that one thing I knew

abouthimisstillthesame.“Iplanto.”

I lick my lips as I lean over, and he sucks in a breath. I ignore his hard cock, though, and place

kissesalloverthosemouth-wateringabsofhis.Ihadaglimpseofthemtheotherdaywhenhewas
wrestlingwithEthanandhisshirtgotpulledup.Inearlyorgasmedfromthesight.Besides,heneedsa
littletorture,too.

“Soyouwerecheckingmeouttheothernight.Iknewit.”
“Youdon’twantmecheckingyouout?”
“ThefuckIdon’t.Iwantyousocrazyformybodythatyoucan’tcontrolyourself.”
“Youwerecontrollingmeprettywellafewminutesago,”IremindhimasIbiteintohisbiceps.
I’vealwayslovedhisarms.I’velovedwatchinghimworktheranchwithhismusclesflexing,and

thenhavinghimwrapthemaroundme.Tonight,IwantthemwrappedaroundmeasIsleep.Thatwill
behoursfromnow,soIgetbacktomyfun.

Lickingmywaydownhis“happytrail,”Ireachmydestination.Orrather,itreachesme.Thatcock

—the first cock I’ve ever known, and the only one I still fantasize about—jerks up as I move over
him.Ikissthetip,earningagroanfromCaleb.

I torture him a little by just kissing up and down every side. He can’t stop himself from moving

underme.WhenIcan’ttakeitanymore,Iplungemymouthontohim,takinghimasfarasIcandown
mythroat.

“Fucking…God…fuckme,Tegan.Holy.Shit.Fuck.”
Idon’tlethiscontinuingstreamofcursewordsstopme,orevenslowmedown.Isuckhimhard

and then roll his balls in my fingers. I move to straddle one of his thighs, and I know he feels the
moisturepouringoutofmewhenhestartsmovingitunderme.ImoanasherubsagainstmewhileI
suckhimoff.

“Damn,it’shottoseeyougettingoffonsuckingme,Teeg.”
Isuckhimharderandridehisthighforafewmoreminutesbeforehe’scominginmymouth.As

thehotliquidshootsdownmythroat,Ifeelmyselfcrestingagain.Icomewhilesuckingonhistip,
andthencollapseontohischest.

“Ithinkyou’regoingtokillmetonight,Cowboy.”
“Aslongasyou’reridingmehardwhenithappens,I’llwillinglygorightalongwithyou.”
“Weshouldgoupstairs.Idon’tknowwhattimeEthan’sgoingtocomehomeinthemorning.”
“Yourbedormine?”
“WhatifImeantthatweshouldgointoourseparatebeds?”

“Youdidn’t.”
“Tonight,we’llgotoyourroom,”ItellhimasIstandup.
Myroomistoopersonaltotakehimintorightnow.I’mnotreadyforhimtoseehowIdecorated

it,orthatthere’ssomuchoftheboyheoncewasinthere.Ican’tgivehimthatpowerovermeyet.

“Letmegrabyousomefood,andI’llmeetyouupthere.”
“Youdon’thaveto.Icangetitmyself.”
“I’mgoingtotakecareofyou,Tegan.MysontoldmetonightthathethinksIcandoabetterjob

thanhim,andIwanttoliveuptothat.”

“Forhim.”
“Forbothofyou.I’mgoingtoshowbothofyouthatyoucancountonme.”
“Iloveyou,Cal.Ineverstopped.”Iprobablyshouldn’tadmitthatsosoon,butIcan’thelpmyself.I

needhimtoknow.

“Ididn’teither.Iloveyoutoo,Teeg.”

CHAPTER9

Caleb

This last week has been pretty much a dream come true. I’ve got an amazing son, who’s finally

callingme“dad.”ThewomanI’velovedmostofmylifeisinmybedeverynight.I’mworkingina
state of the art lab, where I’ve been able to do the final tests on my formula. And I’m acquiring a
groupoffriendswholovemywomanandsonalmostasmuchasIdo.Lifeisgood,butnotgreat.

Teganstillwon’tsleepwithmeinherroom.Shehasn’tevenshownmeherroomyet.Itprobably

shouldn’tbe bothering me so much, but itis. I don’t want just a part ofher. I want it all. I think we
couldhaveitthistimearound.Ifshe’djustletmeallthewaybackin.

“Hey,”thesubjectofmythoughtssays,walkingintothelab.
“Heyyourself.”
“Liv just went into labor. I’m heading over there soon since I wanted to be at the hospital when

Yasmin’sdischarged.Doyouwantmetogetsomeflowersorballoonsorsomething,fromyou?”

“Youcouldjustgetsomethingfromthethreeofus.”
“Oh.Yeah,IguessIcould.”
“Areyouevergoingtoletmeallthewayin,Teeg?”
“Iwantto.I’mjustscared.Idon’tknowifIcouldsurviveyouleavingagain.AndIhavemorethan

justmetothinkaboutthistime.”

“Youhadmorethanjustyourselflasttimeaswell.”
“AndImadethechoicesIhadtoinordertoprotectourson.”
“I’dliketoknowaboutwhathappenedafteryouleft.Ifyouwanttotellme.”
“JustafterIleft?Notbefore?”
“I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to talk about you and Greg. But I’m letting it go because I want a

futurewithyou.Thefuturethatshould’vebeenourpast,too.Could’vebeenifyou’djusttoldmeyou
werepregnant.”

“Areyougoingtoeverbeabletoletthatgo?It’sabiggerissuethanwhathappenedatthatstupid

party.”

“I’mwillingtotry.Iamtrying.Sowillyoupleasetellme?”
She takes a deep breath and then walks over to sit cross-legged on the only table in the room

withoutbottlesandtesttubescoveringit.“Okay,butIhavetotellyoufirstthatIwasgoingtotellyou
thatnight.ThenightourliveswenttoHell.Oratleastthenightminedid.”

“Thenwhydidyousleepwithhim?”IknowIsaidIdidn’twanttotalkaboutit,butIhavetoask.
“Ididn’t.”
“Ohcomeon,Tegan.Everyonesawyouleavehisroomwithnoclotheson.”
“IhadonabraandpantiesonwhenIleftthatroom.”
“Somuchbetter,”Isay,rollingmyeyes.“Youreallyexpectmetobelieveyoudidn’thavesexwith

Greg.Heswearsyoudid.”

“AndIswearthatIdidn’t.Apparentlyhiswordholdsmoreweightthanmine,butIalreadyknew

that. You wouldn’t have called me a slut, or a whore, every day for the weeks I stayed around if it

didn’t.”

“Don’tputthisonme.”
“Butitis.Yourbehaviorisonyou,Cal.Youblindlybelievedwhatsomeoneelsetoldyouaboutme.

DespitealltheloveIhadshownyoueverysinglefuckingday.Youdidn’tevenaskmewhathappened.
Youjustbelievedhim.That’snotevenonepercentonmebecauseInevergaveyouareasontodoubt
me.”

Herwordshitmelikeapunchtothegut.ButI’vefeltmyrighteousangeroverthatnightfortoo

longtodoubtmyselfnow.IfIdidthat,I’dhavetoadmitwhatmyuncletoldme.Imighthavebeenthe
onetodestroywhatwehad.Idon’twanttothinkaboutwhatthatsaysaboutme,andhowinsecureI
wasbackthen,soIdon’t.

“Ijustwanttotalkaboutafter.”
“Ofcourseyoudo,”shesaysshakingherhead.“IfoundoutIwaspregnant,andlikeIsaid,Iwas

goingtotellyou.IknewIshould’vebeenscared,butIwasn’t.Iwassohappytobehavingyourbaby.
Iknewyou’dbehappy,too,evenifitdidderailyourplansalittle.Youalwaystalkedaboutusbeing
togetherforever,andIbelievedthattoo.

“Thenightthatshallnotbetalkedabouthappened,andthingschangedforme.Ididn’twanttotell

my parents. I knew, without your support, they wouldn’t let me keep the baby. They could barely
managetofeedme.Iwasgettingsicksomuchthatmymomstartedtonotice.Shethoughtatfirstthat
itwasjustheartbreak,whichshefeltIdeserved.Infact,I’msurprisedthattherewasn’tared“A”sewn
intoallmyshirtswhenshedidmylaundry.Anyway,shefigureditoutthatsecondweek,andtoldmeI
wasgoingtogetridofit—ofhim.Itoldherno,butIwassixteen.Ihadnosayovermybody.She
madeanappointmentatawomen’sclinicinHouston.Iwantedtorunaway,butmyparentsneverlet
meoutoftheirsightforthosefewdays.Imissedschooleven,sotheycouldwatchoverme.

“What she didn’t know is that I’d been to that clinic already, and the head doctor there knew I

wanted my baby. She saw my name on the appointment list and contacted a friend of hers, Cyndi
Evans.SheknewthatCyndiwasworkingwithfriendstohelpwomenandchildren,andsheaskedher
tohelpme.Whenweshoweduptotheappointment,Cyndiwaswaiting.Sheofferedmyparentsmore
moneythantheycouldeverhopetohave,inexchangeforturningovercustodyofmetoher.”

“That’showtheygotthemoneytofixupthefarmandmakeitprofitableagain?”
“Yes. They happily took her money, and gave me—and Ethan—away. Cyndi took me to Chicago

andmovedmeintoherhouse.Shegotmethebestpre-natalcareavailable,andbroughttutorsinto
givemelessonssinceIwasembarrassedaboutbeingunwedandpregnantinanewplace.

“Brad found out what had happened when he asked my dad about all the money he suddenly

acquired.Istilldon’tknowhowhegothimtoadmitit,buthedid.HecametoChicagoandstayedwith
us.Idon’tknowwhatIwould’vedonewithouthimandCyndi.Theybelievedinmeandtaughtmeto
believeinmyselfagain.

“IwantedtojointheSocietyassoonasitwasofficiallyformed,whichwasprettysoonafterIhad

ourson.Janerefused,though.ShesaidIneededtofinishschoolandgotocollege.Ihatedherfora
little while. I hated Reina, too, since she was allowed to join when she turned eighteen. Now, I’m
thankful, though. I loved my college classes and the time I got to spend with Ethan growing up. I
couldn’thavedonethatifIwasintrainingandgoingonmissionsallthetime.”

“Butyoudidleavehim.Ethansayshe’sonlybeenwithyouhereinVegasforacoupleofmonths.”
“I feel like there’s something more that you would like to say, so you should probably go ahead

andsayitbeforeIrespond.”

She’sright.“I’mhavingahardtimewrappingmyheadaroundthefactthatyoukeepsayinghow

muchyouloveEthan,andhoweverythingyou’vedonehasbeenforhim.Yet,youlefthimtocome
hereforyourjob,andwell,tosleeparound.”

She takes some more deep breaths, and I see her hands clench into fists. She asked, though. She

should know me well enough to know I’m a straight shooter. I’m waiting for the punch I think is
coming,whenshefinallyspeaksagain.

“I offered to quit my job, Caleb. I said I would stay in Chicago because that’s where all Ethan’s

friendswere.IlovethewomenIworkwith,andIoweCyndiandtheothermentorssomuch,butIwas
willingtowalkawayfromeverythingtomakesureoursonwashappy.

“Herefusedtoletmedoit.Hewasonlyeightatthetime,buthe’salwaysknownaboutwhatI—we

—do.Inkindergarten,whenhehadtodrawhisfamily,hedrewateamoffemalesuperheroes,capes
andall.HetoldmethatIcouldn’tstophelpingpeoplejusttomakethingsmorecomfortableforhim.
Hesaidotherkidsneededmemorethanhedidbecauseheknewhewassafeandloved.”

God,butIcanactuallyhearhimsayingthattoher.Tellinghertohelpothers.Ofcourseheknows

howlovedheis.Imaybefeelingangry,hurt,andahostofotherfeelingsaboutthissituation,butI
know without a doubt that my son has been raised better than the majority of children in the world
ever will be. Tegan and her friends have taught him—and shown him—real love, compassion, and
acceptance.He’shadsomeofthebestandbrightestmindsintheworldteachinghimaboutanything
hecouldpossiblywanttoknow.Andathletes,thatguysIgrewupwithwouldkilltomeet,teaching
himeverysportimaginable.

I’mfeelinglikearoyalassnow,andshe’snotevendonewithmeyet.“Don’tyoufuckingdareever

trytosaythatIhaven’ttriedtoputhimfirst.Untilyou,I’veonlytakenonshortmissionswhileI’ve
been here. Ones that lasted only a few days to a week. My friends picked up the slack with longer
assignments, so I could go back to Chicago for at least one full week a month, as well as 2-3
weekends.

“I’vebeentoalmosteveryoneofhisschoolplays,andasmanysportsgamesasIcouldmanage.

WhenIcouldn’tbethere,CyndiorBradmadesuretheywere,sohealwayshadsomeonewhowas
thereforhim.Sincehe’sbeenhere,he’shadawholecheeringsectionateverythinghedoes.”

“Ishouldn’thaveimpliedthatyouwereabadmother.”EspeciallywhenIknowshe’snot.
“No,youshouldn’thave.Asforpartying,andsleepingaround,that’sreallynoneofyourbusiness.

DidItrytoeraseeverytraceofyoubysleepingwithnamelessguys?Yeah,Idid.Diditwork?Did
hearingthemcallmesexy,andbeautiful,andsayallkindsofprettythingstomeerasetheuglywords
you said to me? No. But I have come to realize that no matter how hard I tried to live up to those
namesyouandyourfriendscalledme,I’mnevergoingtobewhatyousaidIwas.NotunlessIcall
myself them, and I’ll never do that. Our son will never do that, either. He’ll never make a girl, or
woman,feellikeshe’slessbecauseshehasahealthysexlife.”

He’s already a better man than me, and he’s not yet a man. “You’re not those things, Teeg. I was

hurtingsobadlywhenIcalledyouthem,Icouldbarelyseestraight,muchlessthinkaboutwhatIwas
saying.”

“Yousaidthemtomeagainlessthantwoweeksago.Youweren’thurtthen.”
“ThehellIwasn’t.Youwereinthatsexydress,anditwasn’tforme.That’snoexcuse,though.”
“You’reright.Itisn’t.”
“Ikeepscrewingthisup.”
“Wow.You’rerighttwiceinoneday.Thathastobesomekindofrecord,”shesays,punchingme

lightlyonthearm.

I stand up and pull her to the edge of the table. She still has her legs folded, as I wrap my arms

aroundherandholdhertight.Atfirstshejustsitsthere,butafteraboutaminute,shehugsmeback,
restingherheadontopofmine.

“Willyoubemygirlfriendagain,TeganKelly?Ipromisetotryandbeabetterman.”

“IthinkI’dlikethat,CalebHall.AndIpromisetoalwaysputyouinyourplacewhenyouactlikean

ass.Oh,andtowearthatblackdressagain,justforyou.”

“I’mgoingtodolotsoffunthingstoyouwhileyou’rewearingthatdress,”ItellherasIpullhert-

shirtdownalittletosuckontheswellsofhertits.

“I’m counting on that.” She moves back a little, displacing my mouth as she tilts my head up.

“Seriously,though.Iknowthiswholesituationishardforyou.Iwaslivingwithabrokenheart,butI
had that beautiful boy with me. I can’t give you back those years, but I’ll share him with you from
nowon.”

“Thankyouforthat.He’sthebestgiftI’veeverbeengiven.IjustwishIcouldteachhimsomething.

Heknowssomuchabouteverythingalready.”

“Noteverything,Cal.Noone’severtaughthimtorideahorse,orworkonaranch.”
“Really?”I’mtrulyshocked.“YouandUncleBradneverdidthat?”
Sheshakesherhead.“No.IthinksomewhereinthebackofmymindIwashopingthatyou’dcome

back into my life. I refused to let Brad teach him, and I wouldn’t either. Ethan was actually pretty
angryatmeforalittlewhileoverit.”

“Youhavenoideahowmuchthatmeanstome.Whenthisisallclearedup,wecanstayinyourblue

house,andIcanshowhimeverythingaboutbeingacowboy.”

“He’dlovethat.Speakingofgettingthisclearedup,Ineedtogetbackonthat.Yougocreatethings

withyoursciencebrain,andI’llseeyoutonightfordinner.”

Shehopsoffthecounter,butIpressheragainstitasItakehermouth.Iknowshe’srightaboutus

bothneedingtowork,butIalsoneedalittlemake-outsessiontotidemeoveruntilIhaveherinmy
bedagaintonight.Withthatdresson,andthenoff.

***

Tegan

I’msmilingasIwalkintotheCorrigan&Co.Foundationofficesaftermyepicmake-outsession

withCalinhislab.Icould’vestayedtherewithhimallday.Ifhedidn’thaveaformulatotestandre-
testbeforeitsrelease,andIdidn’thaveabadguytofindandpunishforhurtinghimandmyfriends,I
would’ve.Buthedoes,andIdo,sohereIam.

Alexholdsupherfinger,silentlyaskingmetowaitwhileshefinishesthecallshe’son.“Thanksfor

waiting,Teeg.IjustwantedtoletyouknowthatCyndi’shere.”

“Issheinheroffice?”
“ShewastalkingtoReina,butshemaybedone.”
“Thanks.I’lllookforher.”
Iskipdownthehall—yes,I’mliterallyskipping—towardsReina’soffice.Ijustmadeoutwiththe

manofmydreams,andnowthewomanwho’sbeenasurrogatemothertomeforyearsishere.Plus,
Ihavethebestkidever.I’dbelyingifIeventriedtopretendthatI’mnothappierthanI’vebeenin
years.

Iknockonthedoorandenterwhenitopens.“Cyndi,”Isaywhilerunningovertohugher.
“Hi,Teeg.Iseeacertainmanwe’reprotectingisagreeingwithyou.”
“Idon’tknowwhatyoumean.”
“Youlookhappy.It’sgoodtoseeyouthisway.”
“Iamhappy,butI’llbeevenbetteroncewefigureoutwho’sbehindallthismadness.”
“Weactuallyhavesomeinformation.Idon’tknowwhatyoudidtothatwomanwecaptured,butit

didn’ttakemucheffortonmyparttofindoutwhatwasgoingon.”

Reina’sofficialexpertiseislanguages,butshehasaknackfortortureaswell.Ascary,nightmare

inducingknackthatworkswellforallofuswhenwe’retryingtogettheinformationweneedfrom
thebadguys.

“Ijustmessedwithheralittle.”
“Well,itscaredthehelloutofher.Shethinksyou’recrazy.”
“Andyoudon’t?”
“No. I think you like to test my patience, and break the rules from time to time, but you’re not

crazy.”

“I’msorry,Rei.”
“It’sfine.Well,I’msayingthatnow,butwhenyoustepoutoflineagain,I’llhavetobethebig,bad

bossagain.”

“Iknow.Youdoitwell,bytheway.”MytalkwithCalearliermakesmeadmitsomethingtoherthat

Ihaven’teverdonebefore.“Ialsoneedtoapologizeforwhenwewereteenagers.”

“Becauseyoudidn’tlikeme?We’repastthat.AtleastIam.”
“InevertoldyouwhyIactedthatway.”
“No,youdidn’t.Ijustfiguredithadtodowithmeseemingtohaveacarefreelifewhileyouwerea

teenagemother.”

“ItactuallyhadtodowithyoubeingallowedtojointheSocietybeforecollege,whileIwastoldI

hadtograduatefirst.”

“Seriously?”
“Yeah.”
ShelooksatCyndithen.“Whywouldn’tyouletherjoin?”
“Honestly,JaneandIthoughtthatshemightchangehermindbecauseofEthan.Wewantedherto

haveadegreetofallbackon.”

“Younevertoldmethat,”Isay,expressingmorethanalittleshockatthisrevelation.“Ithoughtyou

justdidn’twantme.”

“Ifwehadn’twantedyou,youwouldn’tbeherenow.Wedidn’ttellyoubecauseweneverwanted

ourfearstocloudyourdecisions.”

“Thankyouforthat,andagainRei,I’msorryfortreatingyoubadly.”
“I’ll admit it’s nice to know that you didn’t just dislike me. I would’ve been pissed if I would’ve

beenforcedtowait,too.”

“I think you’re one of the cooler, more kick-ass chicks I know. I don’t think I could ever dislike

you.Iloveyou.”

“Iloveyou,too.NowbeforethisevolvesintoaHallmarkmoment,I’mgoingtocallAinsleyand

Isainsowecanallcomeupwithaplan.”

IlaughandthenturnbacktoCyndiwhileReinamakesthecalls.“HowarethingsinChicago?”
“Good.Butweneedtotalkaboutyou.AndCaleb.”
“Wecouldjustnot,andsaywedid.”
“Tegan.”
“Fine.Goaheadandgivemethelectureabouthowhehurtme,andIshouldtakethingsslowthis

timearound.”

“Iwastherewhenyourlifefellapart.”
“Iknow,andIdon’tknowthatI’devenbealiveifitwasn’tforyou.ButCaleb…he’sjustitforme.

Youknow,‘it.’Youfoundyourguy.”

“I did, and I know what it’s like to love for life. I also know that you would’ve survived, even

withoutme.You’reasurvivor.”

“Notifthey’dtakenEthanfromme.Iwouldneverhavesurvivedthat.”

Shenods.“Yoursonisthegreatesttestamenttotheloveandstrengthyoupossess,mydear.”
“Andnowhisfatherishere,wantingtomakealifewithus.”
“Sohe’sstaying.”
“Maybe?Honestly,we’vebeenmorefocusedonthetwoofthemgettingtoknoweachother,and

everythingelsethat’sgoingon.Wehaven’ttalkedaboutwhat’sgoingtohappenafter.”

“I’llaskhimthattonight,then.”
“Tonight?”
“You’renothavingmeoverfordinnertonight?”
OfcourseIam.Shealwayscomesoverwhenshe’sintown.“Youknowtheoffer ’salwaysopen.

Justtrynottoscarehimtoomuch.”

“WouldyoureallywanttobewithamanIcouldscareaway?”
“Don’tpretendthatyou’renotabad-assliketherestofus.Iknowbetter.”
“That’snotananswer.”
“No,Iwouldnotwanttobewithamanyoucouldscareaway,”Iadmit.
“Iknewthat,Ijustwantedtohearyousayit.”
I roll my eyes and stick out my tongue at her as she laughs. I stop laughing once Reina tells me

what she learned, and who exactly the Beauty Queen is. Once she gives Ainsley that information, it
takeslessthanfiveminutesforustohavealltheinformationweneedtoknow.Whentheinformation
isrevealed,CyndiandIbothknowI’mthebestoneforthejob.Istillhaven’tspilledallmysecretsto
everyoneelse,butReinaisintuitiveenoughtogivemeachoice.Therereallyisnone,though.Ineed
tofacetheDevilandhopethatIcomebackwithmysoulstillintact.

CHAPTER10

Caleb

IwasgettingreadytoaskJadeifshecouldwatchEthanformetonight,whenWaynearrivedfor

anotherguitarlesson.IsitbadthatIstillhatehim,evenafterTegantoldmethey’rejustfriendsnow?I
can’t erase the sight of him holding her or how she hugged him back. It’s looking like I’ll have a
repeatperformancetonight.Plusone.

TeganjustcalledtosaythatCyndiEvansisintown,andthey’recomingbyoncetheystopinatthe

hospitaltooseeLivandLuke’sbabyandcheckonYasmin.ImetTegan’sparentsyearsago,butIhave
afeelingtheinterrogationtonightisgoingtobeevenworse.GoodthingIcookedextrafood.Iwas
planningonlunchformeandTeegtomorrow,butCyndiiswelcometosomeofit.

“Dad,canWaynestayfordinner?”Ethanasksmeastheywalkintotheopengreatroom.Ohyeah,

mydayisjustgettingbetterandbetter.

Iturntoseethebastardinquestionsmirkingatme.WebothknowwhatanassI’dlooklikeifIsay

no.“Ofcoursehecan.”

“It’ssoniceofyoutocookforme,Caleb.”
“Anytime,Wayne.”
“MaybeyoucancomevisitusinTexas,”Ethantellshim.
“You’removingtoTexas?”
“No, but Mama said my dad’s going to teach me all about being a cowboy on my grandparents’

ranchonceit’ssafe.We’llstayinherhousewhichisrightaboveit.Ican’twait.”

“Meeither.We’regoingtohavefun,butit’shardwork,too.”
“Icanworkhard.I’vebeencleaningupaftermyselflikeyousaidIhadto.”
“Iknow.You’vebeendoinggreat.”
“I’mgoingtodomyhomework,soIcanspendmoretimewithGramwhenshegetshere.”
“Soundslikeaplan.Letmeknowifyouneedanyhelp.”
“You’rereallygoodwithhim,”Waynetellsmeoncehe’sgoneuptohisroom.
“He’sagreatkid,soit’seasy.”
“That’sallTegan,youknow.”
“No.It’sallofyou.Thankyouforbeingaroundforhim.”
“Youhatemebeingaround.”
“Yeah,buthedoesn’t.SowhatIthinkisn’timportant.”
“I’dtakeherfromyouinasecondifIthoughtIhadachance.”
“Iwouldn’tblameyou.”
The front door opens, and Tegan comes in with Cyndi. She runs over to me and pulls me into a

passionatekiss.“I’msorryinadvance,Cal,”shesaysinmyearwhenwecomeupforair.

“Icanhandlethem.”
“Yousaythatnow,but…wait,them?”
“EthanaskedmeifWaynecouldjoinus.Iwould’velookedlikeanassifI’dsaidno.”
“I’mgoingtohavetoblowyouatleasttwiceforthisdinner.”

“Nah,justdon’tletanyonestabmewhenIanswersomethingwrong.”
“Deal,butI’mstillhavingyourcockinmymouthlater.”
“I’mnotgoingtokeepactivelydiscouragingthat.”
“Ididn’treallythinkyouwould.”
“I’m sorry to break this up…no, actually I’m not. But I was invited for dinner, and not a show,”

Waynetellsus.

“Behave,Wayne.”
“Youneverwantedmetobehavewhenweweretogether.”
“Wayne.”
“It’sjustsofuntomesswithhim,Teeg.Imean,helookslikehewantstomurdermerightnow.”
“Ifyoudon’tleavehimalone,I’mgoingtostoptryingtofindyouawoman.”
“Ialreadyfoundone.”
Shit.Imayhatehim,butIcansympathizewithhimrightnow,too.“I’llbeyourwingmanifTegan’s

notworkingout.”

“I’manexcellentwingwoman.”
“Foranotherwoman,maybe.Wayneneedsaguy’shelp.”
“ButIknowwhathelikes.”
“SodoI.”
“Thanks,man.Imightjusttakeyouuponthat.”
“IsanyonegoingtointroducemetoCaleb?”
“I’msorryma’am.Ishouldn’thavedistractedthem.CalebHallatyourservice,MissCyndi.”
“Putawaythesoutherncharm.Iknowtoomuchaboutyouforittoworkonme.”
“Youhavetheadvantage,butfromwhatTegan’stoldme,Ioweyouforsavingmyson’slife,and

hers.Myappreciationisgenuine.”

“Gram,”Ethanyells,runningdownthestairsbeforeshecanrespondtome.
“Hi,E.How’smyfavoriteboy?”
“Good.WaynesaidI’mdoingagoodjobonmyguitar,andmydad’sgoingtoteachmehowtobe

arealcowboy.Isn’tthatcool?”

“Let’sallsitdownandthenwecantalkalittlebutmoreaboutallofthis.”
“Okay.YouallsitdownwhileDadandIgetthefood.We’rethehosts.”
“Well,thisisachange,”Cyndisays.
I can’t tell from her tone whether she thinks it’s a good change or not. I didn’t like the way she

deflectedEthan’scommentaboutmeteachinghimthings.Ihavetoremindmyselfthattheremaynot
havebeenanEthanifitwasn’tforher.IowehermorethanIcaneverrepay,soI’llbitemytongueas
muchasIcantonight.

IthinkImaybeoffthehookwhennothingissaidthroughoutdinner,butIshould’veknownbetter

thantohopeforareprieve.

“Dinnerwaswonderful,Caleb.Thankyou.”
“You’rewelcome.Itwasmypleasure.”
“Yes,well,Ithinkit’stimeforustotalk.”
“I’llansweranythingIcanforyou.”
“Whatareyourplans?”
“For?”
“Onceyou’resafeandcangobackhome.Areyougoingtodothat?”
“If Tegan and Ethan are going with me, I will. I don’t think that’s going to happen, though, so I

guessI’mhopingtostayhereifthey’llhaveme.”

“We’llhaveyou,Dad.”

“Youwon’tmissyourfamily,oryourranch?”
“I went to MIT for four years of college and then worked in Boston doing research for another

four.Iwasjustfinebeingaway.I’mnotsayingthatIdon’twanttovisit,ormaybespendaholiday
there,butIdon’tneedtoliveinthattown.”

“Evenwiththisnewdealthat’scausingsomuchtrouble?”
“The deal is for my formula and the two others I’m working on. I can work on those anywhere.

The lab Ryan and Chloe designed for me here is better than any I’ve ever been in. So again, I’m
hopingtostayhere.”

“AndwhenyouandTeganfight?”
“Wefightalmostdaily.Andthenwemakeup.”
“Youranswersaregreat,Caleb,butallIcanthinkofwhenIseeyouishowbrokenshewaswhenI

mether.Youdidthattoher.”

“Ifyou’dmetmethen,youwould’veseenthatIwasn’tdoingsowellmyself.”
“Again,somethingthatyoudid.”
“I’lladmitthatIsharetheblame,butIwon’ttakeallofit.”
“Pridecomethbeforeafall,youngman.That’snotjustafamousquote,it’sthetruth.”
“That’senough,Cyndi.Iloveyou,butyouknowIlovehim,too.”
“It’sokay,Teeg.She’sjustlookingoutforyou.Iappreciateit,andI’mnotgoinganywhere.”
“Iwanttobelieveyou,butI’mgoingtohavetoseethathappenbeforeIcanfullydothat.”
“Nooffense,ma’am,butit’sTeganandEthanthatIneedtoimpress.Notyou,oranyoneelse.I’d

loveitifyouacceptme,butIcan’tforceyouto,andIwon’ttry.I’veneverbeenakiss-ass.”

“Idon’twantyoutokissmyass,Caleb.IjustwantyoutostandbyTeganthistime.Nomatterwhat

happens.Ifyouloveherlikeyouclaimto,you’llstandbyher.”

“IalreadytoldyouthatI’mnotgoinganywhere.”
“Thenwewon’thaveaproblem.”
IseehernodtoTegan,whogivesherashakysmile.WhydoIhaveafeelingthatmoreisgoingon

herethanIknowabout?ItrytocatchTegan’seye,butshelooksaway.IneedourgueststoleavesoI
canjustbealonewithherandEthan.Cyndiaskedmeaboutbeingawayfrommyfamily,butwhileI
lovemyparentsandgrandpa,thesetwopeoplearetheonesIcan’tleave.Iwasn’tlyingaboutthat.

***

Tegan

CalpassedCyndi’stest,butwebothknowthetruetestwillbewhenhewakesuptofindmegone

tomorrow,andhowhedealswithwhathe’sgoingtoseeafterthat.Ihavetofollowthroughwiththe
plan,though,becauseIneedhimtobesafe.That’smoreimportantthanloveandromance.

I know he wants to talk to me, but I can’t do that right now. I distract him by shoving my hands

downhisjeansoncewe’reinhisroom.“Tegan,honey,stoptryingtogetoutoftalkingtome.”

Iignorehimanddroptomykneesbeforehecanstopme.Hemakesonemorehalf-assedattemptto

stopme,butonceIhavehiminmymouth,hegivesin.Iknewhewould,whichiswhyIinsistedon
this.Ilovedoingthistohim,makinghimcrazy,butthistimeit’sdifferent.It’sadistraction,butalsoa
remindertohimthatIwanttopleasehim.Hepullsmeupbeforehefinishesandliesdownonhisback
withmeontopofhim.

“Youofferingmearide,Cowboy?”
“Onlyifit’shardandvery,verywet.”
“Itis,”IsaywithasmirkasIlookdownathiscock,andthenswipeafingerovermyself.

I’mgladItookoffmypantiesearlier,andthatIdecidedtowearadresstoday.Ioffermyfingerto

him, and he sucks it into his mouth. He moans as he looks me in the eye. “We are going to talk
tomorrow.”

Idon’tanswerasIliftmyselfupandplungedownonhim.Myeyespracticallyrollbackinmyhead

athowgoodhefeelsinsideofme.“Cal.”

“Yeah,that’sit,”hetellsmeasIstarttomove.“Fuckmehard,honey.”
Hepullsthesidesofmywrapdressapart,andtwistsmynipplesinhisfingersthroughthelaceof

mybra.IarchmybackasIleanforwardtograbhisheadboard.Theanglepusheshimdeeperinside
ofme,andIgetoneofthegrowlsIloveoutofhim.Hisfingersarealittlefranticashepushesmy
bra cups down and starts to move his mouth back and forth between my breasts. I’m going to have
marksfromthebiteshecan’tstopgivingmeashegoesalittlecrazy.

“God,Iloveitwhenyoumarkme.”
Hebitesharder,asIgrinddownontohiscock.Itpushesmeovertheedge,andIcomeasquietlyas

possiblebecauseIdon’twanttowakeupEthan.Afewhardpumpslater,andCalcomestoo,jerking
me up with him as he bites the underside of my right breast one last time. We both just lie there,
breathinghard,forafewminutes.

“Damn,itjustgetshotterandhotterwithyou.”
“Same.”
“All those years when we were apart, I used to tell myself that I was just imagining it was better

withyouthanitwaswithanyoneafter.ButIwasn’t.There’snothinglikebeinginsideofyou,making
lovetoyou.”

“Rightbackatya,Cal.It’sneverbeenlikethisexceptwithyou.”
“EvenwithWayne?”
I smile against his chest. “Yes, you crazy jealous man. I never really enjoyed being with anyone

else,includinghim,becauseIonlywantedyou.”

“You’vegotme,Teeg.Foraslongasyouwantme,whichIhopeisforever.”
“Careful.Thatalmostsoundslikeaproposal.”
“It’swhateveryouwant.I’dmarryyoutonight.”
Iwanttograbhimandtakehimdowntoachapelrightnow.WecouldtakeEthan,Cyndi,Brad,and

Stella, and get married in a matter of hours. But I can’t do that. Not before what I have to do
tomorrow.Ifweweremarried,itwouldmakethingsworse.

“You’rethinkingaboutit,aren’tyou?ShouldIgogetEthan?”
“Youdon’twantthat,Cal.Yourparentsaren’there.”
“Idowantit.Doyouhavesomethingyoucanwear?”
“Um,yeah.IthinkIdo.”
“Gocallyourfriends,then.Onerequest,though.”
“Whatisit?”
“CanwehaveElvismarryus?”
Iburstoutlaughing.“Yeah,wecandothat.”
“Thengetmoving.Iwanttogetmywifebackhereassoonaspossible.”
“You’rereallysureaboutthis?Imean,whatifsomethinghappenstomakeyouangryatmeagain?”
“I’mnotateenageranymore.IfIgetreallyangryatyouagain,we’lltalk.Nowstopworryingand

getamoveon.”

***

IhavetheperfectoutfittowearwhengettingmarriedinaVegasweddingchapel.It’sawhitelace

croppedshirt,withamatchingskirt.It’sfromaclassystore,eventhoughit’salittle“club.”Isawitin
thestoreacoupleofmonthsagoandjusthadtobuyitforsomereason.Allmygirlsareherewith
me,whileEthanandCalebaredownstairsinStella’splacewiththeguys.

“Ifyou’resure,Teeg,Ihaveagiftforyou.Isawtheseandknewyouhadtowearthemforyour

weddingoneday.”

“I’msure,Stell.Iknowthisisfast,andprobablyalittlecrazy,butI’vewantedtomarryCalebsince

Iwasthirteen.”

“NotinaVegasweddingchapel,”Cyndiremindsme.
“No. I was hoping for our creek on his family’s ranch. But it’s the marriage, not the place, that

matters.”

“Jade’sgoingtoreplaceyoutomorrow,”Reinatellsme.
“What?No.Ineedtobetheonetodothis.Youknowthat.”
“Calebisn’tgoingtobeokaywhenthepicturessurface.Becauseyou’vealreadytoldusthatthere

willdefinitelybepictures.Itwouldbehardenoughifhewasyourboyfriend,butnowhe’sgoingto
beyourhusband.”

“Hesaidthatifheevergotreallyangryatme,we’dtalkitout.”
“It’seasyforhimtosaythatnow,beforeareallybadsituationoccurs.Youknowthisisgoingtobe

bad,”Cynditellsme.

“Itmaybetheonlywaytoendthis,tosavehim.Thathastobemoreimportantthanprotectingmy

heart.”

“Ican’targuewiththat,butjustknowthatI’llbeheretoholdyouupifhewon’tlistentoyou.”
“Weallwill,”Stellasays,comingbackintotheroomwithagorgeouspairofboots.They’recream

coloredsatincowboybootswithgoldembroidery.

“OhmyGod.Thoseareperfect.”
“Iknewyou’dlikethem.”
“Ilovethem.You’rethebestbestieever!”
“Aww,thanksbabe.”
Islipthemonandcheckmyhaironcemoreinthemirror.Iputitinabig,loosebunwithafew

curlshangingdowninfront.Ismoothdownmydressandsmile.I’llbeTeganHallinjustacoupleof
hours. And with any luck, I’ll have taken down the man who’s behind the threats on my husband
tomorrownight.

***

Caleb

“Youneedahatandboots,Dad.”
“No,thissuitisfine,E.”
“Nu-uh,Mama’sgoingtowantyoutolooklikeacowboy.”
Shit.Iknowhe’sright.“Idon’tknowifanystoresareopen.”
“It’sVegas,man.We’llfindsomethingthat’sopen,orthey’llopenitforme,”Waynetellsmewitha

smirk.

Anhourlater,Inotonlyhaveahatandboots,butalsoringsforus.Igotheralargepinkdiamond

withwhitediamondsrunningalongatwistedblackband,pairedwithanotherblackbandstuddedwith
whitediamondsthatfitsunderneaththefirstone.Mineisjustaplainblackband.Idon’tneedanything
fancy,butIknowshe’sgoingtolovehers.Ethangavehisstampofapproval,too.

We have to get our marriage license before the ceremony, so Tegan’s meeting me at the

courthouse.I’mwaitingnervouslyatthecounterwhenshewalksin.IforgethowtobreathewhenI
seeher.Whatshe’swearingshouldn’tlooklikeweddingattire,butpairedwiththefancyboots,and
thefactthatit’sherwearingit,Ithinkshelooksliketheperfectbride.Especiallywiththebigsmile
thatbreaksoverherfacewhenshetakesinmyhatandboots.

“Youlooksogood,Cowboy.”
“Youlookevenbetter,honey.”
“Thanksforwearingahatandboots.”
“Oursonremindedmethatyou’dwantmelikethis,andWaynehelpedmemakeithappen.”
“IwantyouhoweverIcangetyou,butIlikethis.Alot.I’llhavetogiveWayneathankyoukiss.”
“Onthecheek,”Itellherasshelaughs.“Healsohelpedmegetthis.”
Ipulloutthering,andsheletsoutalittlegasp.IdroptoonekneesoIcanaskherproperly.Iknow

we’realreadyhere,gettingourlicenseandall,butIwanthertolookbackandrememberthatIasked.
“I’velovedyouformorethanhalfmylife,TeganKelly.Willyoupleasemarryme?”

“Yes,becauseI’vealsolovedyouthatlong.”
Islidetheringonherfingerandstanduptopullhertomeforakiss.I’mstoppedbeforeourlips

touch,though.“YoucankissherwhenElvistellsyouto.Untilthen,she’sofflimits,”Stellatellsme.

“Fine. But it’s going to be one of those kisses that makes all the guests feel awkward, so be

prepared.”

“Yuck,Dad.”
“Justcloseyoureyes,”Tegantellshim.
“IhaveafeelingI’mgoingtobedoingthatalotfromnowon.”
“Countonit,”Iadmit.
We get the license and then head down the street to the chapel. Elvis is ready for us, and the

ceremony goes off without a hitch. Cyndi and Brad give Tegan away, which has tears in all of our
eyes.Ethanismybestman,andStellaisthemaidofhonor.I’lladmitIwasalittleworriedthatCyndi
orWaynewouldobject,butnoonedoes.Anaddedbonusisthatthechapelwasabletolivestreamthe
ceremony,somyfamilyinTexaswereabletowatchaswell.

Wedidn’thavetimeforacakeorreception,butI’llmakeituptoherlater.Mymomalreadysaid

she wants to have a big party for us once we’re able to travel there. Tegan asked them not to tell
anyoneabouttheweddingyet.Shesaidit’stoodangerous.Idon’treallycareifanyoneknowsornot.
Itonlymattersthatweareinfactmarried.

Whenwegetbacktoherplace,shetellsmetowaitintheupstairshallforaminutewhileshegoes

into her room. I lean against the wall and wait for my surprise. It’s worth the wait when I see her
standinginthedoorway,wearingthatdamnblackdress.

“Comeonin,”shesays,finallyinvitingmein.
I’ve wanted to see her room for so long, but all I can think about right now is her in that dress.

Until I’m past the door. Then I stop and look around in shock. The room’s full of things from our
past. Little gifts I gave her and pictures. The entire wall facing her bed is filled with pictures of us.
TherearelargephotosofEthanandmethatCanditook,butinbetweenarephotosofthetwoofus,
fromthetimewewerekidsuntilweweresixteen.

“Saysomething,”shesays.
“I’mgoingtodosomanybadthingstoyoutonight,thatyou’regoingtoloseyourvoicefromall

thescreaming.”

“Promises,promises”
“I’mkeepingthispromise,honey.Iguaranteeit,”ItellherasIpickherupandtossherontoher

bed.

Thebedlookslikeacorral,withwoodrailsoneachsideandaheadboardmadefromapieceof

wood that I recognize because it was once in my family’s barn. It’s perfect, just like we are when
we’retogether.I’msogladthatshefinallyletmein.Wakingupnexttomywifetomorrowisgoingto
beamazing.

CHAPTER11

Tegan

IwakeupbeforeIneedto,butI’mgladthatIdid.Calebjustrolledoverawayfrommeinhissleep,

but I know from experience these last few weeks, that it will only last for maybe an hour, and then
he’ll roll back over to me. It’s sweet that he can’t be away from me for long, but right now it’s
makingmyhearthurt.Idressquickly,andleavethenoteIwroteonmypillowforhim.Withanyluck,
I’llbebackhereinlessthantwentyfourhourstoexplaineverything.

I’malreadyononeoftheCorriganjetswhenthefirstmessagecomesinonmycomputerscreen.
Cal: What the hell Teeg? You’re just going to fucking leave me after we got married last

night?

Me:Ileftyouanote.
Cal:Igotthedamnnote.Iwantmywife.Comehome.
Me:Ican’t,butifeverythinggoeslikeitshould,I’llbehometomorrow.
Cal: Tell me what’s going on at least. That note was shit. “I love you, but I have to leave.”

Really?WTF?

Me:Ican’texplainnow.Justpleaserememberthateverythingisnotwhatitseems.
Cal:Withus?
Me:No.YouandEthanaremyeverything,Cowboy.Youjustmightseesomethingthatlooks

bad.Ineedyoutoknowthatitwon’tbewhatitlookslike.

Cal:Crypticmuch?
Me:Iloveyou.
Cal:Iknow.Iloveyoutoo.Hurryhome,honey.
Me:IpromiseyouthatI’llbebackassoonasIcan.
Cal:Iguessthat’sallIcanaskfor.Callmewhenyoucan.
Me:Iwill.
IclosemyeyesaswedescendintoHouston,andpraythatIcanactuallypullthisoff.Ihaven’tseen

Gregsincehighschool.WhenIgotaFacebookaccountafewyearsago,hetriedtofriendme,butI
declinedhisrequest.Forobviousreasons.Inever,inamillionyears,thoughtIwouldhavetogonear
himagain.ButtosaveCaleb,I’lldoanything,evenaddtomybadreputation.Ifthat’spossible.

“Youokay,Teeg?”Nateasksmewhenwegettomyhouse.He’sheretobackmeup.I’mhopingI

won’tneedit,butI’mnotputtinganythingpastthebastardwhoalreadyconspiredtobreakmeonce.

“AsokayasIcanbe.Ineedtogogetchanged.”
“Idon’tknowallthedetailsofwhatthisguydidtoyou,butI’vegotyourback.Iwon’thesitateto

takehimdownifhetriestohurtyou.”

“Thanks.”
I put on the dress Stella got me for tonight. It’s not something I would normally ever wear, even

whenIwasgoingoutlookingforaguytotaketobed.ButGregwon’tbeabletoignoreit.Itoldher
togetmetheredone,soitcanmatchmyinvisibleletter.Theonethat’sgoingtocomebackfullforce
tonight.Thedresshasagold,floweredlaceoverlayandredlacesleeves.It’ssupershort,withavery

deepV-neck.Ihaveanicesetofgirls,butIstilluseanextremepush-upbratomakethempractically
fallout.IhavetoadjustalittletohideCaleb’sbitemarks,butIgetthemallcovered.Simpleredheels
completemylook.

“Whoa.I’mdefinitelyprotectingyoutonight.”
“Soyouthinkhe’llnoticeme?”
“Hell,Teeg.You’relikealittlesistertome,andI’mnoticingyou.”
“Gross.YouneedtobenoticingJade,”Itellhimaswewalkoutside.
“Inoticeher.That’smyproblem.”
“Shecouldbeyoursalvation.”
“Dropit.”
“Fornow.”
Wegetinthecaranddrivedownintotown.Hegetsoutablockawayfromthelocalbar,sonoone

will see us together. I park in the parking lot, and check my make-up. I already know my hair is
clashingwiththedress,buttonightisaboutlookingtrashy,soitworks.

TheminuteIwalkintothebar,mostconversationsstop.IimmediatelyseeGregwiththeblondeI

was told he’d be with. She’s another pageant girl from Dallas, according to my “friend” back in
Vegas.IignorethefactthatIwanttothrowuprightnow,andswingmyhipsasIwalktowardstheone
personI’dhopedtoneverseeagaininmylife.

“Well,well,well.Theprodigaldaughterreturns.”
“HiGreg.”
“You’relookinggood,Teeg.Realgood.”
“Iwashopingyou’dnotice.”
“Wereyounow?”
“Uh-huh.Ihaven’tbeenabletogetyououtofmyheadforalltheseyearsI’vebeengone.”Ain’t

thatthetruth?

“Excuseme,butwhoareyou?”theblondeasksme.
“Thishere’sthelegendaryTeganKelly,thehottestgirltoevercomefromthistown.”
“AndnowI’mbacklookingforsomefun.”
“Withme?”
“You’lldo.Youcanbringher,too,andanyotherfriendsyouthinkmightwanttojoinin.”
“Hell,yeah.Let’sgetoutofhere.”
He loops one arm around my shoulder, and one arm around hers. I hear the camera phones

clicking as we make our way out the door. I seriously am having to tamp down my gag reflex as I
smell that same disgusting cologne that he’s worn for years. I’m not worried about my safety with
himthistime,atleast.Icouldtakehimdowninahotsecond,andIknowNate’soutthere.

“Holdupasecond.Ineedaselfieofus.”
I force myself to smile as he grabs my right breast and squeezes, kissing the side of my head. I

knowexactlywhohe’sgoingtosenditto,butIhavetoseethisthrough.

Wegetintothecar,withGregnexttome,andSharla—theblonde—behindme.JustasIshiftinto

drive,Natejumpsinthebackseat.

“Hipartypeople,arewereadytoplay?”
“Holyshit,you’reNateAnderson.Imean,theNateAnderson.”
“AndyoumustbeGreg.Tegansaidweweregoingtohavesomefuntonight.”
“Ohyeah.Thisisgoingtobeepic.”
“Igettoplaywithhim,don’tI,Greg?”Sharlaasks.Iseeherintherearviewmirror,runningher

handoverNate’sbiceps.Jadeisgoingtocutabitch.

“Wecanshareyou.Ilikesharing,”Natesays,lookingherover.

“IsPhilstillaround?”
“You want someone to share with, darling?” Greg asks, not able to mask the hunger in his eyes

whenIglancehisway.“Haveyoueverhadtwo,ormore?”

“Yes. Call him, and tell him to meet us at my place. The blue house on the hill,” I say biting my

bottomlipandthenlickingit.God,thisispainful.

He takes out his phone and texts. A couple minutes later, he puts his hand on my thigh and leans

closetowhisperinmyear.“He’sbringingsomeothergirlswithhim,butwewantyoutoourselves
first.”

“Ican’twait.”
Ipullintomydrivewayandweallgetout.We’rebarelythroughthedoorwhenNateandIattack.

Well,IshouldsayIattack.HejustgrabsSharlainachokeholdwhileIpunchandkickGreguntilhe’s
almost unconscious. He didn’t see it coming, and it was almost too easy, but I still enjoyed it
immensely. We tie them both to my iron dining room chairs, and put duct tape over their mouths.
Thenweputonsomeloudmusic,andwait.

Abouttenminuteslater,mydoorbellrings.Ianswerthedoorwithabottleofvodkainmyhand.

“HiPhil.”

“Hello,Tegan.Youlookgoodenoughtofuckrighthereinthedoorway.”
Thatworksforhim?Really?Obviouslyitdoesifthefourgirlswithhimareanyindication.Plus,

heactuallygotsomeonetomarryhim.SweetJesus.

“Let’sgetinsidefirst,soyoucanintroducemetoyourfriends.”
Thatdoesn’thappen,ofcourse.IletNatehavehimwhileIfightthegirls.Twoofthemgodown

easy—Ijustwhackthemwiththebottle—buttheothertwowanttoplay.That’sfine.I’minthemood
foragoodfight.

Theyhavesomesilentcommunicationgoingon,whichI’mprettysuretheythinkwillgivetheman

advantage.Oh,thisisgoingtobefun.Theycirclemeandthentrytoattack.Iletapunchgrazemy
cheekasIkicktheotheroneintothelivingroom,whereshecrashesintomymetalcoffeetable.I’m
onceagainthankfulthatmystyledoesn’tleantowardsantiques.

The other one moves past me to help her friend up, and I follow them into the room. I glance at

Nate.Healreadytieduptheotherthree,andnowhe’ssittingonanemptychaireatinganapplewith
hisarmscrossed.Jack-ass.IknowI’vegotthis,andsodoeshe,butstill.

Thetwoarealittlemorewary,andfranklyI’mjustboredwiththiswholething.Iwanttogettothe

interrogation,andthengohometomyguys.Iruntowardsthem,andtheypartjustlikeIwantthemto.
Nottoofarsincetheydon’thavetime,butjustenoughforwhatIwanttodo.Igrabafistfulofeachof
theirshirts,jumponthecoffeetable,andflipforward,takingthembothoverwithme.Ilandonmy
knees,whilethey’refacedownonthefloor,unconsciousfromtheimpact.

Natestartsaslowclap.“Nice.Very,nice.”
“Ilearnedfromthebest,”Itellhimwithawink.
“Yousureashelldid.ThatwassoimpressiveI’lleventiethemupforyouwhileyoustartmaking

yourfriendstalk.”

“They’veneverbeenmyfriends,Nate.Never.”
“Igatheredthatfromthewayyoubeatthatonedown,”hesays,gesturingtoGreg.“Playnotnice

allyouwant,I’vegotafewkniveswithmeifyouneedhelp.”

Greg’seyeswidenasIwalktowardshim.I’mnotsureifit’sfromwhatNatejustsaid,orwhathe

justsawmedo.Maybeit’sboth.Aslongashetalks,Icouldgivetwofucks.

Iriptheducttapefromhismouth.“AreyougoingtotellmewhatIneedtoknow,oramIgoingto

gettohurtyousomemore?”

“I’lltalk.”

“Damn,you’renofun.Butherewego.WhyareyouandyourbeautyqueenstryingtostopCaleb

fromreleasinghisformula?”

“That?That’s why youkidnapped us? Ofcourse it is. Italways comes downto Tegan and Caleb.

Thegoldencouple.Well,untilwetookyoudown.”

“AsmuchasI’dlovetoreminisceabouthowyoubrokeusupwhenwewereteenagers,Ineedan

answertothequestionIaskedyou.Youwillanswer,whetherIhavetohurtyoufirst,ornot.”

“Fuckyou.”
“Youalreadytriedthat,anditdidn’twork,”ItellhimasIkickhimintheface,knockinghischair

over.

“Youbitch.YoudothattomewhenI’mtiedup?Realtough.”
“Shehityouwhenyouweren’ttiedup,andyoudidn’tfareanybetter,”Nateremindshim.
“I’lltellyounothing.Youcan’tkillme,becauseyouneedtheinformationIhave.”
“DoI?Doyouknowwhatheknows,Phil?”
Hestartstoshakehishead,butwhenIraisemyeyebrowathim,henods.IturnbacktoGregwitha

smileonmyface.“Traitor!You’dreallykillme?”

“Whatdoyouthink?”
“Letmeup,andI’lltellyoueverything.”
Naterightsthechair,asIpulloveranotheremptyoneandtakeaseat.“Goahead.”
“MybossattheoilcompanyinHoustonhiredmetodothissidejob.HeknewIwasfriendswith

Cal,andwebothfiguredIcouldgethimtobackoff.Itriedtojusttalkhimoutofit,buthewouldn’t
budge.Heinsiststhatthiswillbegoodforeveryone,butthat’sjustbullshit.Hisalternatefuelwillput
usalloutofjobs.”

“Maybeintentofifteenyears,butnotnow.Mostpeoplearecreaturesofhabitandwilljustgofor

theregulargas.Especiallybecausehisfuelwon’tbecheaper.Oncepeoplegetusedtoit,theymight
buyitmore,butthey’llbeluckytobreakevenwithitforthefirstyear.”

“Mybossdidn’ttellmethat.”
“Ofcoursenot.”
“ButwhywouldtheHallsbuyitfromCalifit’snotgoingtomakemoneyrightaway?”
“Theirsisanoldcompany.They’veweatheredupsanddownsformanyyears,andhisgrandfather

understandsthattheyneedtobeforwardthinking.He’swillingtotakeachancebecausehethinksit’s
therightthingtodo,andbecauseheloveshisgrandson.”

“Whyareyouhelpinghim,Tegan?Whathesaidanddidtoyouwasunforgivable.”
“Whichwasyourplanallalongbackthen.ButlikeIsaid,I’mnothereforawalkdownmemory

lane.Lawenforcementwillbeheresoon.”IglanceatNate,andhenods.“They’reontheirwaytoget
yourboss,andthenIcangobacktomylife.”

Phil’smovinghisheadlikehewantstotalk,soIremovehistape.“Mywife.ShewenttoVegas,and

Ihaven’theardfromher.”

“Oh yeah, we have her in custody there. She has a crush on me, so you may want to rethink the

wholemarriagething.”Hiseyesbugout,andIlaugh.“YoulookalmostasshockedasshedidwhenI
was messing with her. Nice touch, by the way, using pageant girls. People don’t realize how tough
theycanbe.Sobravoladiesforsteppingoutsideyourstereotype.You’restillgoingtojail,buthey,
youknowaswellasanyonethatyoucan’twinthemall.”

WewaitforourfriendsfromtheFBItoarrive,andthesheriffcomesinsoonafter.I’mtalkingto

one of the guys about the Houston takedown—which netted them more guys, and girls, when he
sauntersuptous.

“Isawyouwerebackintowncausingtrouble,Tegan.Andinasexyreddresstoboot.”
“Ifsavingsomeoneistrouble,thenyes,that’swhatIwasdoinghere.”

“Thistownisgoingtocrucifyyoualloveragain.SoIsuggestyouleaveasfastasyoucame.”
“Iownthishouse,andthisismyhometown.I’llleavewhenI’mgoodandreadyto.”
“Don’tsayIdidn’twarnyouwhensomethinghappens.”
“Ifsomethingweretohappen,I’dexpectyoutoprotecther,Sheriff,”theagentIwasspeakingto

saystohim.

“Thetrashneedstotakeitselfout.Ican’tberesponsibleforwhathappens.”
“Whatdidyoujustsay?”Nateasks,comingupbehindme.
“Justleaveit,Nate.He’sjustasadlittleman.Whathesayscan’thurtme.”
“Icouldtakeyouinforthatsmartmouthofyours.”
“No, you can’t. And don’t think I won’t report this. You should count on a visit from the State

Police,andpossiblymyboss.Teganhashelpedusoutseveraltimes,andsheiswellrespectedinthe
Bureau.”

“Ijustbetsheis.”
“Getoutofmyhouse,Sheriff.You’renotwelcomehere.”
“Bitch,”hemuttersunderhisbreathasIholdNateback.
ImeantwhatIsaid.Hiswordscan’thurtme.ButIprobablyshouldn’thaveantagonizedhimquite

somuch.Heisthelawhere,andIwon’talwayshaveback-up.

CHAPTER12

Tegan

I’mexhaustedbythetimeeveryoneexceptNateleaves,butIcan’twaittogetbacktoVegas.Iturn

myphonebackonasIchangeclothes.Itgoesalittlecrazy,beepingoverandovertoletmeknowall
I’vemissed.IsitdownanddecidetocheckCaleb’sfirst.Iknowhe’sgoingtobeupset,butIdidtell
himnottobelieveeverythinghewasgoingtosee.Irealizethathedidn’tdothatatallwhenIseewhat
hewrote.

Caleb:WhatinthefuckingHell,Teeg?
Caleb:You’rewithGreg?Inthatdress?
Caleb:ToobusylettingGreggrabyourtitstoanswerme?
Caleb:Fuckinganswerme,Tegan.
Caleb:Answeryourdamnphone.
Caleb:You’repartyingwithsomeotherguy,alongwithGregandhislatestfuck?
Caleb:Philtoo?I’mdone.Doyouunderstandme,Tegan?DONE.
Caleb: I’ve got Ethan. I’m keeping him with me, and I’ll be fighting for full custody in our

divorce.

Iimmediatelycallhim,prayingthathe’llanswer.
“Well,ifitisn’tmylovingwife.”
“Idoloveyou,Cal.”
“Howwasyourthreesome?”
“Itoldyounottobelieveeverythingyousaw.Imeantforthattoextendtohearingthings,too.You

knowIwouldn’tgooffwithGregandPhil.”

“YoudidGregbefore.Whynotnow?Andwebothknowyoulikemultiples.”
“Forthelasttime,I.Never.Slept.With.Greg.AndIneverwill.Asforthatlastcomment,well,that’s

realclassy.”

“Justbringingmyselfdowntoyourlevelforamoment.”
Ifelttheverbalslapasifhe’dreallyhitme.“Youcan’ttakemyson.”
“Ourson.We’remarried,andI’monhisbirthcertificate.Thanksforthat,bytheway.It’sgoingto

makeallofthissomucheasier.”

“I’llfindyou.”
“I’mnothiding.We’regoingtotheranch.Apparentlytheycaughttheguybehindthethreats.He’s

anoilguyfromHouston,acompetitor.”

“YouthinkIcan’tgetontotheranch?Thatmyfriendscan’t?”
“Youmaythinkyou’reabovethelaw,butthesheriffhatesyou.Hewon’tletyounearus.”
“Thatlittleprickcouldn’tstopme.NothingandnoonecankeepmefromEthan.Ifyoudon’tknow

thatbynow,you’redumberthananyonethinksyouare.”

“TheonlydumbthingIeverdidwastoletyoubackintomylife.”
“I’mthestupidone.Ithoughtyoureallycaredaboutme.”

“Don’t you dare put this on me. You’re the one who married me one day, and then went out

whoringitupthenext.”

“Iwascominghometoexplainitalltoyou,butthere’sreallynopoint,isthere?You’rejustgoing

tobelievewhateveryouwant.Whatevermakesiteasyforyoutowalkawayfrommeagain.”

“Forgetwalking,I’mrunning.”
“I’llgiveyousometimewithEthan,becauseheneedsyouinhislife.Butmakenomistake,myson

willbewithme.IfyouthinkIcan’tmakeusdisappear,you’redelusional.Iwouldrathersharehim
withyouthantakehimaway,butI’lldowhateverIhavetodoinordertokeepmyson.”

“Ijustrecordedyousayingthat.Thejudgeisgoingtoloveit.JudgeRawlins.Yourememberhim,

right?He’shatedyousinceyouaccidentallyspilledyourpunchonhimatoneofmyfamily’sparties
years ago. Which is why I’m filing the custody and divorce paperwork at home. I guess I owe you
anotherthanksforbeingahomeownerthere.Forasuperspy,youreallyhavemadethistooeasyfor
me.”

“Youwillnotwin,Cal.”
“Ialreadyhave.”
“LetmetalktoEthan.”
“No.”
“Youthinkhe’sjustgoingtogoalongwiththis?Thathe’sgoingtostaywithyou?”
“He’llhavenochoice.”
“You’regoingtowatchhimnightandday?Becausehe’llrunonceherealizesyou’rekeepinghim

from me. And then you’ll have nothing but your fucking formula to keep you warm at night. All
becauseyourefusetoletmeexplainthingstoyou.Youdidittomeyearsago,andnowyou’reletting
thatcyclerepeat.”

“I’mnotgoingtoindulgeinyourselectivestorytellingtalents.”
“You don’t want the truth. I can’t believe I didn’t see that sooner. You want to be the victim, the

martyr. Poor little Caleb who was tricked by Tegan. No matter what I say or do, it would never be
enough.Becauserealizingyou’rewrongaboutmewouldmakeyouhavetofacethefactthatyou’ve
persecutedmeforthingsIneverdid.”

“Bullshit.”
“Proveitthen.Provemewrong.Ifyoudon’twanttolistentome,askBrad.TellhimIsaidtotell

you.”

“You’vegothimsnowed.He’dbelieveanythingyoutoldhim.”
“Youjustprovedmypoint.Nowputmysononthephone.”
“You’vegottwominutes.Ethan,”heyells.“Cometalktoyourmom.”
Afewsecondslater,he’sthereontheline.“Mama,whenareyougettinghere?”
“I’mnot.”
“What?Why?”
“Youdaddoesn’twantmethere.Hewantsadivorce.”
“You’recomingtogetmethen,right?”
“Notrightaway.Spendtimewithhim.I’llbeatmyhouseonthehill.IwillcomeforyouwhenI

can,butIwantyoutobehaveuntilthen.”

“Idon’twanttobewithoutyou.”
“Iknow,E.Justpretendit’slikewhenyouwereinChicagowithoutme.Onlythistimeit’sgoingto

beyourdadyou’rewithinsteadofCyndi.”

“Whyishedoingthis?”
“He’sangryatme.”
“Didhecallyounamesagain?”

“Kindof,butyoudon’tneedtoworryaboutthat.”
“Hecan’tkeepme.”
“No.Hecannot.”
“Time’sup,”Calebsays.”
“Iloveyou,E.”
“Iloveyoutoo,Mama.”
Assoonashislastwordissaid,thephonegoesdead.IfCalebthinksthisisover,he’sinforabig

surprise.AfterItellNateI’mstaying,IcallReinaandstarttoplan.Hehasacrookedsheriffandhis
family.Ihaveallthemajorlawenforcementgroupsinthecountry,andmyfamily,too.I’dplaceodds
onme.

***

Caleb

“Youreadyforyourcowboylessons?”IaskEthantwodaysafterwearriveattheranch.
Hejustlooksoutthewindow,pretendingthathedidn’thearme.Hehasn’tspokentomesincewe

arrived; although, he let my mom and dad fawn all over him. Even my grandpa got in on the act. I
knowthey’reexcited,andsoIletthefactthathewasignoringmego.Iwon’tdothattoday.

“Youwillberespectfulandspeakwhenspokento.”
Stillnothing.
“Ethan,Iloveyou.”
“Thosewordsmeannothingtoyou.”
IreelbacklikeI’vebeenslapped.AndIguessIhave.“Theymeaneverythingtome.”
“YousaidthemtoMama.”
“ImeantthemwhenIsaidthem.”
“Liar.”
“Ethan,Iunderstandthatyou’reupset,butthereisonlysomuchlipIwilltakefromyou.”
“Youmademeapromise,andyoubrokeit.Thatmakesyoualiar.”
“ForGod’ssakekid,givemeabreakhere.I’mtrying.”
“No. You promised you would never try and take me from her, and now you’re doing it. I will

neverforgiveyouifyoutryandmakethispermanent.AndI’mnotlearningsomestupidcowboystuff
unlessmymama’sheretowatch.”

“Shewasn’tgoingtowatcheverything.She’sabusyperson.”
“She would’ve for me. She always makes time for me. If I need her, she’s always there. Even if

she’s on a mission somewhere. All I had to do was tell Ainsley I needed her, and she got her on a
Skypewithme.Always.”

“WecanvideotapethestuffIteachyouandsendittoher.”
“Youdon’tgetit.AllIwantfromyouistoletmeseeher.Idon’twanttorideahorse,oranything

else.NotwhenIknowhowsadsheis.”

“Ican’tletyoubewithher.She’sliedtometoomuch.”
“Justbecauseyousayit,thatdoesn’tmakeitright.Ortrue.Mymamalovesyou.Shedoesn’tlieto

peoplesheloves.”

“We’lljusthavetoagreetodisagreeabouther.”
“Whateveryousay,Father.”
Damnit.We’rebacktosquareone.Ormorethanlikely,negativesquares.MaybeIdoneedtojust

talktomyuncle.Hearrivedlastnight,atherrequestI’msure.Iheaddownstairstoseewhathehasto

tellme.ButwhenIwalkintothekitchen,theconversationbetweenhimandmymomstops,lettingme
knowtheywerediscussingme.

“Caleb,where’sEthan?”mymomasks.
“Sittinginhisroom,cursingme.”
“Didyoureallythinkhe’dbeokaywithyoutakinghimfromhismother?”Bradasksme.
“Yeah.She’saliar.”
“Really?She’stheliar?WhenyouhadEthanpackabagandgetonthatplanewithyou,didyoutell

himyouwereplanningondivorcinghismotherandgoingtofightforfullcustodyofhim?”

“No.Hewouldn’thavegonewithmeifI’dtoldhimthat.”
“Soyoulied.”
“Hedidwhathehadto,Brad,”mymomsays.
“No,hedidn’t.WhathehadtodowastrustTegan.”
“Youdidn’tseethepictures,”Itellhim.
“Actually,Ididseethem.”
“Shewaslettinghimputhishandsonher.”
“For good reason. You’d know that if you actually asked her. But I believe she’s correct in her

assessmentofthesituation.Youdon’twanttoknow—aboutthepast,ornow.”

“Ofcoursehewantstoknow.”
“Really?BecauseTegansaidshetoldhimtoaskme.”
“Youmusthavemisunderstood.OrCalebdid,rightsweetie?”
“No,”Isay,droppingmyheadintomyhands.“Shetoldmethat,butIdon’tknowifI’mreadyto

hearit.”

“Because she’s right. You’ll no longer be a victim once you know what really happened. Both

times.”

“CalebHall,Ididnotraiseyoutobelikethis.Ididn’traiseacoward.Oramanwhowouldgiveup

thewomanhelovesjustbecausehedoesn’twanttobewrong.”

“YouthinkI’mwrong?”
“Ithinkweallmaybewrong.I’vebeenfocusedonsupportingyouandgoingalongwithwhatever

youdecide,butwhenIactuallystopandthinkabouteverything,Ihavedoubts.IrememberhowTegan
usedtolookatyoulikeyouhungthemoon.Whywouldshesleepwithyourfriend?”

“Because I wasn’t good enough,” I blurt out without meaning to. I’ve never admitted my biggest

feartoanyone,notevenmyself.

“What?”
“Gregwasalwayssleepingwithdifferentgirls.Hehadmoreexperiencepleasingthem.Obviously

Iwasdoingsomethingwrong,soTeganwentlookingforwhatshewasmissingwithme.”

“DidyoucallthatGregdudethe‘S’word?”Ethanasksfrombehindme.
“The‘S’word?”mymomasks,alookofconfusiononherface.
“Theonethatnorealmanevercallsawoman,”heexplains.
Shegetsitthen.“Doyouthinkyourdadshould’vecalledhisfriendthat?”
“No. No one should be called that, but if he was already using that word on my mama, I want to

knowifheuseditonhisfriend,too.”

All three of the people in the room look at me. I sigh and tell the truth because I’ve promised

myselfthatIwillneverlietomysonagain,nomatterwhat.Hiswordsearliercutmealittletoodeep.

“No,Ethan.Ididn’tcallGregthat.Infact,myfriendsandIthoughthewaslucky,thatitwascool.”
“SoyouwantedtobewithothergirlsbesidesMama?”
“What?No.Definitelyno.Ionlywantedher.”
“Thenwhydidyouthinkyourfriendwascool,butcallherthe‘S’wordandthe‘W’word,too?”

The kid’s pulling another hidden truth from me. “Pride. Knowing she had to go to someone else

becauseIwasn’tenoughforherhurtmypride.”

“Shetoldyouthatyouweren’tenough?Shesaidthattoyouwhenyouwereherboyfriend?”
No.WhenIletmyselfgetpastthatdamnpride,andthinkaboutit,Irememberhowshealwaystold

meIwaseverythingtoher,andshewantedtobewithmeforever.Shetoldmeshelovedmeatleast
tentimesaday,andsheneverlookedatGreglikeanythingmorethanmyfriend.

“No.Shenevertoldmethat,”Iadmit.
“Thenwhywouldyoubelievethatshewaswithyourfriend?”
Iremembersomethingbeforeansweringhim.“Yourmomtoldmeshedidn’ttellyoudetailsabout

whathappened.”

“I’mnotdumb.Ihearthings,”hesays,blushing.
“Youmeanyou’vebeeneavesdropping.”
“Ineededtoknowwhatmadeyousomadthatyou’dhurther.Becauseyouhurthersobadthatshe

wasafraidtotellyouaboutme.Evenwhenshewastellingmehowgreatyouwereandshowingme
newsarticles…and,umm,picturesofyou,shedidn’twantyouinmylife.Ididn’tthinkIwantedyou,
either.”

Something was off about what he just told me, and I think it’s important. “Why did you hesitate

whenyoumentionedseeingpicturesofme?”

Iseethewargoingoninhishead,asemotionsflashacrosshisface.Hedoesn’twanttoanswerme,

buthewon’tlietomeeither.I’velearnedthataboutmyson.He’sastraightshooter.It’smyunclewho
saveshim.

“Thepicturesofyouthatwerenormallyonlineshowedyouwithotherwomen.Teganshowedhim

becauseshewantedEthantoseeyou,butitcosther.”

“Costherhow?”IseeEthanstillstruggling.“Pleasetellme,Ethan.IpromiseIwon’tusewhatever

youtellmetohurther.”

“ThenightswhensheshowedmethosepicturesarethenightswhenshestayedoutreallylaterOr

Stella would come over and eat ice cream on the couch with her while they watched girl movies. I
couldhearhercryinginherroomwhenshethoughtIwassleeping.”

Damn,I’msuchanidiot.Andamajorasshole.“I’mgoingtoseeyourmomnow.Begoodforyour

grandmaandBrad,okay?”

“I’malwaysgood.”
“Iknow,you’rethebest.”
“Dad?You’regoingtobenice,right?”
“Yes.E.I’mgoingtobenice.Yourmommaypunchme,though.”
“Youdeserveit,butI’llputsomeiceonitforyoulater.”
“You’reright.Thanksforofferingtotakecareofme.I’llseeyousoon.”

CHAPTER13

Tegan

I have to admit that this shower feels good. Although I won’t admit it to Wayne, who practically

threwmeinhere,andIalsowon’ttellhimhewasright.Ineedtobeintopformandlookingmybest
whenworkingtogetEthanback.Lookinggooddoesmakemefeelbetter,andIneedwhateverIcan
get as I mourn the loss of Caleb again, while figuring out how to defeat him. Especially after my
goodfriend,thesheriff,broughtmearestrainingorderearlier,happilytellingmethathe’dthrowme
injailifIsetfootontheHallranch.

I’vejustwrappedmyselfinagianttowelwhenIhearyellingcomingfromdownstairs.Igrabagun

andrun,skiddingtoahaltwhenIseethatit’sCalebarguingwithWayne.AndthatWaynehasnoshirt
on.Shit.

“Really,Teeg?I’moutofyourbedforlessthan48hoursandyou’realreadybackwithhim.”
“Whyareyouhere,Cal?”Iask,ignoringwhathesaid.
“IthoughtImighthavebeenwrongaboutyou,soIcameheretotalk.Obviously,Iwasn’twrong.”
“You’vedecidedthatjustbecauseItookashower.”
“Hewasgoingtojoinyou,wasn’the?”
“Yes,”Waynesays.
“No. Not unless he wanted to get his ass beat,” I say, glaring at Wayne. I don’t need him making

thingsworse.

“Comeon,Teeg.Hedeservesthis.”
“GoputadamnshirtonWayne,andstoptryingtogetmetoshootyou.”
“Youwouldn’tshootme,I’moneofyourbestfriendsandyouloveme.”
“Shelovesmemore,”Calebsayswithasmirk.
“Yeah,weallfuckingknowthat,”hesays,pushingpastmetogoupthestairs.
“Wayne.”
Hestopswithonehandonthebannister,andtheotherrunningthroughhishairashelooksatthe

ceiling.“Thisisn’tyourfault.IalwaysknewIwasn’twhoyouwanted.IguessIjusthopedthatI’dbea
goodsubstitute.”

“You’reagreatfriend,Wayne.IneedfriendsmorethanIeverneededalover.”
He looks at Caleb, then. “You don’t deserve her, you know. I mean, how can you not see how

amazingsheis?Howloyal,fun,sexy,sweet,kick-ass,andjustperfectsheis.”

“Iseeit.”
“Yetyoukeepwalkingawayfromher,andhadsomeassholeserveherwitharestrainingorderthis

morning.Andpeopletellmeyou’resmart.”

“Beingaroundherrendersmestupidquitefrequently,”hesaysashelooksatthelegalpaperwork

sittingonmyhalltablenexttohim.Hepicksitupandavoidsmyeyes.

“Gee,thanks.”
“Hemeantthatasacompliment.Iknowexactlywhathe’stalkingabout.”

“Weshouldhangoutwhileyou’rehere.Ifyouwant,Imean,”Calebsays,lookingatWayneandnot

meashetearstherestrainingorderintwo.

“Yougoingtotakemetothelocalhonky-tonkandbemywingmanlikeyousaidyouwould?”
“Anytime,”hetellshim,ashecontinuestearingthepiecesuntiltheylooklikeconfettiinhishand.
Wayne walks back down the stairs and shakes Caleb’s other hand. I feel like I’m in an alternate

universe. I haven’t even made up with Cal, and yet Wayne’s making nice. My doorbell rings again,
beforeIcanwrapmyheadaroundwhat’sgoingon.Imovearoundthemtoanswerit.

Iopenthedoor,andimmediatelyreelbackfromtheslapthat’sdeliveredtome.“Youlittlebitch.

Youjustcan’tkeepyourlegsclosed,canyou?EveryonehasfinallystoppedlookingatmelikeI’mas
badasyou,andthenyoucomehomeandmakeyourselfthesubjectofgossipagain.”

“Hello,Mama.I’dsayit’snicetoseeyouagain,butwebothknowI’dbelying.”
“You’reluckyyourdaddydidn’tcomewithme.Hewantstotanyourhideafterseeingyouinthat

dressyesterday.”

“Hewasthere,huh?Stilllookingforsomethingbetterthanyou,right?”
“You’re just like him. Every girl in this town wanted Caleb Hall, and yet he chose you for some

reason.Thenyouscreweditup.Youcouldbelivingonthatranchnow.”

“Youknownothingaboutmylife,andIthinklivinginthishousemeansI’mdoingprettywell.”
“Nowthatyou’veunloadedyourlittlebastard,right?Iheardthere’saboyontheranch.He’syours

isn’the?”

“Yes.Oursonisattheranch,”Calebsays,openingthedoorwidertostandbehindme.“Notthatit’s

evergoingtobeanyofyourbusiness.”

“Caleb,”shesays,smoothingdownherhair.“Ididn’trealizeyouwerehere.”
“Obviously.Whydon’tyourunonbacktoyourranch—youknow,theonethatwaspaidforwith

myson’slife.”

“Areyousurehe’syours?”
“Youneedtoleave,”Itellher.
“Askforthepaternitytest,Caleb.Beforeshegetsyoutobuymorethanthishouseforher.”
“She bought the house herself, and even if Ethan didn’t look exactly like me, I’d trust Tegan

enoughtobehonestaboutourson.Likeshesaid,youneedtoleave.”

Iclosethedoorinherfacebeforeshecansaymore.CalebstartsmassagingmyshouldersasIlean

myheadagainstthewood.Iwanttobangmyheadagainstit,butIknowshehasn’tleftyetandIdon’t
wanttogiveherthesatisfactionofknowingthatshe’sgottentome.

“MommyDearestisabitch,”Waynesays.
“Yeah.”
“Don’tlethergettoyou,honey.She’sjustjealousofyou.Shealwayswas.”
Caleb’sarmscomearoundme,andherestshischinonmyshoulder.
“Jealousofapregnantteenager?Andyoucan’tcallmehoneywhileyou’rekeepingmysonfrom

me.”

“No. Jealous of an amazing girl—and now woman—who was smarter, sexier, more

compassionate,andjustplainbetterthanshe’lleverbe.AndIwanttotalkaboutEthan…andus.Ifaced
somehardtruthsaboutmyselfearlier,andIthinkI’mfinallyreadytohearyourtruths,too.Idon’t
wanttohearitallfromBrad,though.Iwantyoutotellmeeverything.Aboutthepastandwhatwent
onafewdaysago.”

“Letmeputsomeclotheson,andthenwecantalk.”
“Ihaveabetteridea.Howaboutwehaveaneveningpicnicatthecreeklater?I’llhelpBettymake

allyourfavoritethings.”

“Thatsoundslikeadate.Whatabouttalking?Andtherestrainingorder?Justbecauseyoutoreit

up,doesn’tmeanit’snotvalid.Isthisjustaplantogetmethrowninjail?”

“I’ll take care of that damn thing. I should never have done it in the first place. I’m sorry, and I

sweartoyouthatthisisn’tsomecrazyplantohurtyouanymorethanIalreadyhave.Wecantalk,or
youknow,not.”

“IfeellikeI’mgettingwhiplashfromthetwoofyou,”Waynesays.“On,off,on.”
“Which is why we need to talk. Just talk, for tonight at least. Because I can’t keep up anymore,

either.Eitherwe’regoingforit,orithastobeoverforgood.Sharedcustodyandactinglikeareal
divorcedcouple.”

“Seeyouatseventhen?”
“Yes,andtellEthanthatIlovehim,please.”
“YoucantellhimyourselfwhenIhavehimcallyou.”
“Thankyou.”
“Iknowwe’retalkingtonight,butIneedtotellyouhowsorryIam.Idon’tknoweverything,or

reallyanything,butIdoknowyou.AndIshould’vetrustedyou.Thenandnow.It’stoolittle,toolate,
butIneedyoutoknowthat.EvenifIdon’tlikewhatyouhavetotellmelater.”

“IthinkI’mgoingtothrowup.”
“Shutit,Wayne.I’llseeyoulater,Cal.”
Heleansdowntowhisperinmyear,soWaynewon’there.“Clothing’soptional,ofcourse.”
“Talkingonlytonight”Iwhisperback.
“Sowe’llstayoutuntilmidnight,andthenIcanusemymouthforotherthingswhenit’sofficially

tomorrow.”

“GohomebeforeIdosomethingthatneedstowaituntilafterwetalk,”Itellhim,smackinghimon

thearm.

“Yes,please,becauseIcanonlytakesomuchofthisshit.”
“Bye,Wayne,”hesays,winkingatmeashewalksoutthedoor.
“Otherthantheslapfromyourmom,I’dsaythatwentreallywellforyou.”
IwalkovertoWayne,andtrytohughim.“Putsomeclothesonfirst,lady.Ionlyhavesomuchself-

control.”

“Idon’tmeantohurtyou,ormakethingsdifficultforyou.Youknowthat,right?”
“Yeah.Ido.”
“We’regoingtofindyouagirlwho’sgoingtoknockyoursocksoff.Ijustruffledthemalittle.”
“Youreallythinkso?”
“Yes.”Toughlovetime.“Ithinkyoulovetheideaofme.Imean,Iknowyoulovemelikeafriend,

butIthinkseeingStellaandKacesohappymakesyouwantthattoo.AndI’mconvenientbecausewe
hadsex.”

“SexwehadbecauseyouwereusingmeinStella’smission.”
“YouknowIfeellikeshitaboutthat.”
“Don’t.Ienjoyedit.Butseriously,maybeyou’reright.Iwoulddoanythingforyou,butI’mpretty

sureIcouldlivewithoutyou.Youcan’tsaythesameabouthim,canyou?”

“No.Iwasn’tlivingwhenwewereapart.Gettingby,yes.Butnotreallyliving.”
“I’llstilltakepartinkillinghimifthingsgetanyworsebetweenthetwoofyou.”
“Welllet’sjusthopetheygetbetter.”

***

Caleb

“HiBetty,”IsayasIwalkintothekitchen.Itrytograboneofthecookiesshejustpulledoutofthe

ovenfromthebakingsheet,butsheslapsmyhand.

“ThoseareforEthan.”
“Hewon’teatthemall.Youcouldletmehavejustone.”
“I’mnotfeelingtoocharitabletowardsyourightnow.”
“Soyouwon’thelpmeputtogetherapicnicforTegan?”
Sheturnstowardsme,handsonherhips.“You’vecometoyoursenses,then?”
“Maybe.”
“Thatgirlwasthebestthingthateverhappenedtoyou.”
I know Betty loves Tegan. When I brought her in here for the first time when we were just little

kids,Bettytookonelookatmygirlandmadeherupaheapingplateoffood.AndwhenTeganwas
tooshy—orembarrassed—toeatlikesheneededtoinfrontofme,Iwasshooedoutside.Theybaked
inhere,andTeganalwayshadamealwaitingforherwhenshecameoveronweekends.IheardBetty
cursingherparentstomymomonmorethanoneoccasion.

“Iknow.”
“AndEthan,myGod,thatboyisjustbeautiful.Insideandout.”
“Iknowthattoo.”
“Youknowsomuch,doyou?”sheasks,whackingmewithawoodenspoon.
“Ow.”
“Thatgirl’stoosmarttokeepcomingbacktoyouwhenyouactlikeyouhavenobrain.Youbetter

appreciateherthistimearound.”

“Ido.Mybrain’sfullyfunctioningatthemoment.”
“Good.Keepitthatway.Now,whatarewemakingfortonight?”
“I was thinking pulled pork sandwiches, potato salad, homemade chips, and biscuits. Definitely

biscuits.”

“Whataboutdessert?Thatgirlneedsherdessert.”
“Brownies.”
Shenods.“Youbettergettoworking.”
“IneedtohaveEthancallherfirst,andthenI’llbeback.”
“Bringhimwithyou.He’llwanttocookforher,too.”
She’sright.Hewill.“Berightback.”
I find Ethan in the sunroom, reading a book while my mom plays solitaire. He didn’t bring any

books,soitmustbeanoldoneofmine.Ilikethat,sharingmythingswithhim.

“Whatareyoureading,E?”
“Somebookaboutbrotherswhosolvecrimes.”
“Ah,TheHardyBoys.”
“Yeah.They’reprettycool.”
“TheyweremyfavoritewhenIwasyourage.”
“DidMamareadthem?”
“No, she read Nancy Drew. Although, sometimes Nancy and the boys helped each other out. We

bothreadthosebooks.”

“MamahasNancyDrewbooksonhershelfinherroom.Theylookold.”
“They’rehersfromwhenshewaslittle,”mymomtellshim.“Weboughtthemallforher,andshe

hadherownshelvesinourlibrary.Whensheleft,Bradtookthemtoher.”

I’dforgottenthat.Ihadn’twantedhertohavethem,andItriedtostophim.It’sthefirsttimeIever

thoughthewouldhitme.Thelookonhisfacescaredmeenoughtoletitgo.

“Weusedtogoaroundtheranchtryingtofindamysterytosolve.”

“Nowshedoesthatforherjob.”
“Yeah, she does. It’s the perfect job for her because she was always better at solving our little

mysteriesthanme.”

“Yeah,you’relikeamadscientist,andshe’sasuperhero.”
“I wouldn’t classify myself as ‘mad,’ but I can work with that. Speaking of you mom, she would

loveitifyou’dcallher.”

“Youhadagoodtalkwithher?”heasks,immediatelyabandoninghisbook.
“Idid.We’reactuallygoingtotalkmorelater.”
“Issheokay?”
“Shewillbe.YourothergrandmothercamebywhileIwasthere,andthatwashard.Butwetook

careofittogether.”

“Whatdidshedotomymama?”heasks,hiseyesblazing.
“Sheslappedherandsaidsomebadthings.”
“Youstooduptoher?”mymomasks,andIseemurderinhereyes.
“Yes,andsodidTegan.”
“Good.Thatwomanisadisgracetotheword‘mother.’”
“I don’t think I ever thanked you and dad for letting Tegan be over here so much when we were

younger.Andhelpingherwithclothesandstuff.”

“Itwasourpleasure.Ithinkyourfather—andgrandfather—secretlyhopedyou’dmarryherjustso

shecouldonedayrunthecompany.”

“Youmayberight.”
“Phone,please,”Ethansays,holdingouthishand.
“Afteryoutalktoher,wouldyouliketohelpmeandBettymakeapicnicmealforher?”
“We’regoingonapicnic?”
“No.I’mtakingyourmomonapicnicsowecantalk.”
“Andyoucankissher.”
“That,too.Ifshe’llletme.”
“Areyoumakingbrownies?Shelovesbrownies.”
“Yes,wearemakingherbrownies.”
“Shemightkissyouifthey’regood.”
“Um,hello.We’remakingthem.Howcouldtheynotbegood?”
EthanmakeshiscalltoTegan,duringwhichhelooksbothecstaticandchastised.He’sontheother

side of the room, so I can’t hear what he’s saying, but I’m a little intrigued by his conflicting
emotions.Whenhehangsup,hecomesoverandgivesmeahug.

“I’m sorry, Dad. I would never have talked to Mama like I talked to you. I should be more

respectful.”

“Iwouldloveitifyourespectedme,butIalsounderstandthatshe’sgoingtoalwayscomefirst.I

wantyoutodefendher.”

“EvenwhenI’mbeingalittlejerk?”
“Didshetellyouthat?”Iask,holdingbackalaughasherollshiseyesandnods.“Yes,eventhen.”
“I’lltrytobebetteraslongasyou’renicetoher.”
“Deal.”
That’s an easy one to make because I want nothing more than to be nice to my wife. I still can’t

believewe’remarried—andalmostgotdivorcedalready.Ineedtocheckmyinsecuritiesatthedoor
fromnowon.OratleasttellherhowIfeelbeforeflyingoffthehandle.NowthatI’veadmittedthem
to myself, and part of my family, it should make it easier to admit them to her. Should being the
operativeword.Easyornot,I’mbaringmysoultohertonight.Shedeservesnothinglessthanthat.

CHAPTER14

Tegan

After talking to Ethan earlier, I drove up to Houston to pick up a few things. Wayne brought me

someclothesStellapacked,butIwantedsomethingjustforCaleb.I’mnotgoingcommando,butIdo
haveonanewbandeaubikiniunderneathmyflowerysundress.Igotasexierbikinitoo,butIdon’t
want to wear it yet. We aren’t back together, although after this morning, things are looking pretty
good.Sofortonightit’sasundress,acutebathingsuit,and,ofcourse,cowboyboots.

IseeheadlightsoutsidemyfrontdoorandwonderifCalebdecidedtocomegetme.WhenIopen

thedoor,Irealizethatit’sdefinitelynotCaleb.FromwhatIcantell,I’mlookingateightmembersof
thehighschoolfootballteam,allwearingtheirjerseys.Ipressmyarmtoactivatemydistresssignal
becauseI’mnotexactlysurewhat’sgoingon,butI’dratherbesafethansorry.Myfriendsarealready
ontheirwayherefromVegas,soifIdon’treallyneedhelp,itwon’tbeaterribleinconvenience.

“Hiboys.Istheresomereasonyou’reallonmyproperty?”
“Wewantedourturnwiththetownslut,”thekidwhostepsforwardsaystome.Apparentlyhe’sthe

leaderofthegroup.Probablythequarterback.

“Firstofall,I’mnotaslut.Andsecond,I’mnotinterested.Thanksforstoppingby,though.”
“Youactlikeyouhaveachoice.”
“Ido.”
“There’seightofus.”
“Icanseethat.”
“Idon’tmindifyouputupafight.I’mnotafraidtohitagirl.”
“Exactlyhowmanyhaveyouhit?”Iask,gettingangry.
“Afew.”
Iglancearoundagain,tryingtofindtheweaklink.Ithinkit’stheguyclosesttomeonmyleft.He

looksunsureaboutwhat’sgoingon.Iturnslightlytowardshim.

“Youknowyou’llgotojailforthis,ifyoulive.”
“Whatdoyoumean,ifwelive?”heasks,hisvoiceshaking.
“Ihavesomeverypowerfulfriends.”
“Thesheriffwillprotectus.”
“From the FBI, CIA, Homeland Security, and every other organization you can think of, not to

mentionsomemenandwomenwholiketoshootthings?Becausethat’swhoI’mtalkingabout.”

“Youhavefriendslikethat?”
“Yes.”
“Howmanyofthemhaveyoufucked?”themainoneasksme.
“LessthanIcancountononehand.”
“Yeah,right.We’retakingyouregardless.”
“Yourfuneral,”Itellhimwithashrug.
“Let’sgo,then.”
“YoureallythinkI’mjustgoingtogowithyou?That’snotgonnahappen.”

“ItoldyouI’dhityou.”
“Youwouldn’tbethefirstguytohitme,andyouprobablywon’tbethelast.”
“Eighttooneoddsaren’tinyourfavor.”
“Maybenot,butI’llhurtafewofyouatleast.”
“Suityourself,”hesaysbeforechargingme.
I move to the left and take out the weak one with a chop to the neck. I take down a second one

beforetheshocksbegin.Fuck—thelittlebastardsareusingcattleprodsonme.IstillfightasbestI
can,butwithfiveguysproddingme,andonethrowingpunches,Icanonlydosomuch.Asdarkness
overtakesmefromthelatestpunchtothehead,Icanonlyhopethatallthatelectricityhasn’tmessed
withmytrackertoomuch.

Iwakeuphourslater,andIknowI’vebeendrugged.I’mtieduponthefloor,butsinceIcan’topen

myeyes,Idon’tknowwhere.Icanhearthemtalking,butthat’smixingwithflashbacksfrommypast.
Ican’tevenmovemyheadenoughtoshakeit,soItryandjustpiecetogetherwhatIcan.

“Whatarewegoingtodowithher?”
“Tegan,letmegetyouadrink.”
“Justasodaorwater,Greg.”
“Wecan’tfuckher,that’llleavetoomuchevidence.Ifshereallyknowsallthosepeople,they’dfind

us.Evenwithacondom.Weshouldn’tevenbetouchingher.”

“Ifeelhot,Greg.ShouldItakeoffmyshirt?”
“Yeahdarling,takeoffyourclothesifyou’rehot.Let’sgobacktomyroom.”
“Wehavetodosomething.Wecan’tjustwastethisopportunity.”
“Something’swrongwithme.Where’sCaleb?IneedCaleb?”
“Idon’tknowwhereCalebis.Justlaydownonmybed,andwe’llhavesomefun.”
“Ihaveanidea.”
“I’mgoingtobesick.”
“Here,throwupinmytrashcan.”
“Intownsquare?”
“What’sgoingon?WhyamIonlyinmybraandpanties?”
“Youwantedtohavesomefunwithme,Teeg.You’rejustsicknow,soyouforgotorsomething.”
“No.Ididn’t.Iwouldn’t.Ineedtogetoutofhere.Getoutofmyway.”
“Thatcoulddefinitelywork.”
“You’rejustaslut.WhyIeverwastedallthistimeonyouisbeyondme.”
“Whatshouldwewrite?”
“Youwillnothavethisbaby.You’realreadyadisgracetous.Youdisgustme.”
“That’sperfect.Weneedmorewords,though.”
“You’retheonewhomarriedmeoneday,andwasoutwhoringitupthenext.”
“Let’sputheronthetable,andgettowork.”
Ifeelmyselfbeingpickedup,andIwanttofight,butIcan’t.Whatevertheygavemewasstrong

enoughtokeepmetoorelaxed.I’mguessingit’ssomekindofanimaltranquilizer.Ijusthavetokeep
prayingthatmyfriendsgetheresoon,especiallywhenIfeelmydressbeingrippedoffofme.

The action clears my mind enough that I can make myself focus on the here and now. Their

conversation is still confusing as hell, but at least I can hear it all now. And maybe know what’s
coming.

“Damn,it’sabathingsuit.Iwashopingforsomethinglacytoshowheroffin.”
“Doesitreallymatterwhatshe’swearing?”
“No,Iguessnot.Grabsomesharpies,boys,andlet’shaveussomefun.”

Theyuntieme,butIstillamtoolethargictomove,evenwhenIfeelthemwritingonmyskin.What

aretheydoing?Icanmakeoutaletterhereandthere,butnotwhattheactualwordsare.I’mgladno
one’srapingme,butwhateveritistheyaredoingcan’tbegood.

***

Caleb

I’mstartingtofreakoutalittle.It’sseventhirtyandTegan’snothereyet.She’snotansweringher

phone,either.Itcan’tbeanythingI’vedonebecauseIhaven’ttalkedtohersincethismorning.Iknow
shewasexcitedaboutthepicnic.

My phone starts to ring, but it’s Brad’s ringtone, not Tegan’s. I answer, hoping maybe he knows

something.“Hey,Brad.”

“IsTeganwithyou?”
Icanhearthepanicinhisvoice,anditmakesmyheartrace.“No.She’shalfanhourlate.”
“Dammit.Sheactivatedherdistresssignalattentoseven.Noonecanreachher,andhertracker ’s

notworkingright.Itkeepscuttinginandout.”

“Iseveryoneatherhouse?”
“Yes.”
“I’llbethereinfiveminutes.We’regoingtofindher.”Wehaveto.
WhenIgettoTegan’splace,IseeScottGriffinandAinsleytypingfuriouslyontheirtablets.Iknow

they’retryingtogethertrackingdeviceworking,andIpraythatthey’resuccessful.Ihadahorrible
thoughtonmywayoverhere,andIhopeI’mwrong.

“Whatifit’stheguywhowasafterme?Hecan’thavebeenworkingalone.”
“Hewasn’t.Didn’tTegantalktoyouaboutit?”Reinaasksme.
“No.”
“Butyouweregoingonapicnicwithheranyway?”
“Whatdoesonehavetodowiththeother?”
ShelooksatCyndi,whostepsforward.“WhenthefailedabductionofBradoccurredinVegas,we

tookawomanintocustody.”

“Yeah,Iknow.Shewasabeautyqueenorsomething.”
“Shewasalsoyourfriend,Phil’s,wife.”
“Excuseme.”
“Yourotherfriend,Greg,wasworkingforthemanwhowasarrestedinHouston.Thatmanhired

GregandPhiltoconvinceyounottoreleasetheformula.Phil’swifesaidsheknewsomegirlswho
couldshootagunthatweregettingtoooldforthepageantscene.Theyfiguredthattakingyoudown
wouldbeeasy.Obviouslytheywerewrong.”

“Myfriendsactuallytriedtokillme.Un-fucking-believable.”
“AfterTeganbeattheshitoutofhim,theonedude—Greg—saidthathetriedtotalkyououtofit

first,ifthat’sanyconsolation,”Natetellsme.

“Teganbeatthe…ohmyGod…thedress,thepictures…shewasgoingafterhim.”
“Yeah,andyoumadeherfeellikeshit.Forsavingyourworthlessass,”Stellatellsme.
“You’reright,”Itellher.Sheis,andit’sabouttimeIstartedowninguptotheshitI’vedone.
“Whenwegetherback,areyougoingtofightforher,orareyougoingtojustwalkawayagain?”
“Fight.Definitelyfight.”
“Goodanswer.”
“HowcanIhelp?Ifit’snotsomeoneafterme,whocoulditbe?”

“Wedon’tknow.Youweremeetingatseven?”Jadeasksme.
“Yeah.Iknewsomethingwasupwhenshedidn’tshow.IwasrackingmybraintofigureoutwhatI

could’vedonesinceIhadn’tseenherthismorning.”

“Fromhercreditanddebitcardrecords,wecantellthatshewenttoHoustonearlier.Shebought

somethingsfromafewstores,gotlunchandgas,andthennothingmore.”

“WasshemeetingsomeoneinHouston?”Iask,notunderstandingwhyshewentthere.
“No.Shewantedsomethingnewtowearforyourdate,includinganewbathingsuit,”Stellatells

me.

“There’sabathingsuitonherbed,”Elliesays.
“Yeah,that’stheoneforwhenthey’reactuallybacktogether.Shewasgoingtowearamoremodest

onetonight.It’snotupthere,andneitheristhedressshesentmeapictureof.So,shehasthoseon,
alongwithherpinkboots.”

IwhipmyheadaroundtoStella.“Pinkboots?”
“Yes,they’retheonesyougaveheryearsago.Sheneverwearsthem,butshewantedtotonight.I

knewshe’dwantthemwhileshewaswithyou,sotheywereinthesuitcaseIsentwithWayne.”

“Soletmegetthisstraight.Someonehasherwhileshe’swearingadresssheboughtjustforme

andherspecialboots.Plusshehasabathingsuiton.”

“Yep.”
“I’mgoingtojailformurder.”
“Nah.We’vegotyoucovered,”Isatellsme.“Noonewillknowifyoukilloneofthem.”
“Youthinkit’smorethanone?”
“TheygotTegan.Nowayitwaslessthanfourpeople,”Jadetellsme.
“Idon’tthinkthatmakesmefeelanybetter.”
“We’llgetherback,Caleb.Anyotheroutcomeisnotanoption.”Reinatellsme.
Istaytherewiththemallnight.MymomandBettybringusfood,whilemydadandgrandpause

theirconnectionstodowhattheycantohelp.TheybroughtEthanoverherebecausethisisreallythe
safestplaceintheworldatthemoment.

CyndiandBradtalkedtohim,andthenhecameandsatnexttomeonthecouch,cuddlingintome

asIwrappedmyarmsaroundhim.Whenhefellasleep,Itookhimupstairstohisbedandthencame
backdowntowatchandwait.Thisisonetimewhenmysciencebrainisnotmuchhelp,butIneedto
behere.

Just after sunrise, my dad’s phone pings with a text. He opens it, and his face goes white. “Dear

God,whathavetheydone?”

“Whatisit,Dad?”
“WhoeverhasTeganhasjustplasteredthetownwithpicturesofher.”
MybloodisboilingasIimaginewhatkindsofpicturestheytook.Beforemydadcanshowuson

hisphone,IhearAinsleytalkingintohers.“Ineedaccesstothissatelliteandtohaveitmovedtothese
coordinates for one minute…fuck protocol, this if for Tegan Kelly. Did you forget that she saved
yourasseslastyear?”

Scott plugs her tablet into the big screen TV as she nods. A few seconds later, the town square

comesup.Shetypessomethingelseandthepicturezoomsin.Weallseeit,andweallcurseoutloud.
Thereareseveraldifferentshotsofherinherblackbikini.It’snotherhalf-dressedbodythathasus
cursing,though.It’sthewordswrittenonherbody.Thepictureshighlightadifferentwordoneach
one,forallthetowntosee.

TeganKellyisaslut
TeganKellyisawhore
TeganKellyisdisgusting

TeganKellyistrash
TeganKellyiseasy
TeganKellyisabitch
TeganKellyisagold-digger
TeganKellyisacunt
TeganKellyisaskank
“They’rejustpiecesofabody.Wedon’tknow,”Mattsays.
“It’s her,” I say, trying to swallow past the lump in my throat. “It’s her. We have to find her.

Someoneinthistownhastoknowsomething,andifIhavetogodoortodoor,Iwill.”

“Ithinkatownmeetingismoreinorder.Afterweallgooutingroupsandremovethepictures,of

course,”Reinasays,ascarylookonherface.

“Halfthetown’sgoingtowakeuptothemontheirphonesorsocialmedia.Butjustsoyouknow,

forasmanypeoplewhohavevilifiedTeganhere,thereareatleasttwiceasmanywhowillsupport
her,”mydadtellsher.

“Andyouknowthishow?”Iask.
“BecauseI’vealwaysbeenoneofthem,”hereplies,lookingmeintheeye.
“Metoo,”saysmygrandpa.“Ineverbelievedshebetrayedyou.Wehadtopubliclysupportyou,but

Bradhasfilledmeinovertheyears.Abouteverything.”

“YouknewaboutEthan,too?”
“Idid.Yourfatherdidn’t,becausethatwassomethinghecouldn’thavekeptfromyourmother.She

would’vetoldyou,andyouweren’treadytohearaboutthatboyyet.IknewTeganwouldbringhim
backhereoneday,andIcouldn’twaittomeethim.”

I’mdumbfounded.Andhumbled.IclaimedtoloveTegan,andyetIbelievedtheworstabouther.

Whilemydadandgrandpaweresilentlysupportingher.Iknowhe’sright,too.Iwouldn’thavebeen
readyforEthanbackthen.Iwastoofullofhate.Now,though,I’mprettymuchfulluponlove.For
bothTeganandEthan.Reallove.Thekindthatbelievesandtrusts.Andthekindthatkills.

“Thankyouboth.ForkeepingthefaithformewhenIwastoodumbtodoitmyself.”
“Weknewyou’dcomearound,”mydadsayswithasmile.
“Okay,nowthatweallloveyourdadandgrandpa,wereallyneedtogetmoving.I’massumingyou

wanttocomewithus.CanyourmomcomeoverandwatchEthan?”Stellaasks.

“Notevenallofyoucouldstopmefromgoing,andyes,I’msuremymomwillcomeoverhere.

I’mprettysureshe’sbeenTeamTeganallalong,too.”

CHAPTER15

Tegan

ThenexttimeIwakeup,I’mmorealert.Stillalittlegroggy,butIcanopenmyeyes,andmove.

Well,asmuchasapersonwho’shog-tiedcanmove.Icanalsofeelthepainonthesideofmyhead.I
moveitsidetosideinordertoassessthedamage.Idon’tthinkIhaveaconcussion,butwiththeheavy
drugstheyweregivingme,Ican’ttellforsure.Wakingupisagoodsign,though.

“Ohlook,ourspecialguestisawake,”myleastfavoritefootballplayereversaystome.
“Guestsusuallygetabed,and,youknow,thefreedomtomovetheirhandsandlegs.”
“Tiedup,andstillbeingsassy.IreallywishIcouldfuckyouintosubmission,butI’mtoldit’stoo

risky,andIdohavescholarshipstoworryabout.”

“I’dneversubmittoyou,soyou’renotmissinganything.”
“Youwon’tbesobitchywhenyouseethefunwe’vebeenhavingwhileyouwerepassedout.”
Ifeelhandspullmeupfrombehind,andI’mcarriedovertoafulllengthmirroronthewall.Oh

my God. I remember them writing on me, but this. How could they do this? How could anyone do
somethinglike this toanother human being?I won’t let themsee my pain,though. They can’t have
that.

“You’reregularartists,aren’tyou?”
“Somemightconsiderthephotoswetook,andhowwewordedthem,art.”
Heholdsupapictureofme.It’sjustmystomach,withtheword“slut”writtenonit.Thesentence

aboveitsays“TeganKellyis”andthenan“a”isnexttoslut.I.Will.Not.Break.In.Front.Of.Them.I
repeatthattomyselfoverandoverasheshowsmealltheversionstheymade,withdifferentpartsof
mybodycoveredindifferent—butjustasdemeaning—words.It’shardtostaycalmwhenhetellsme
theyputthemupallovertown,butIdoit.Ihavetoshutdownthehurtinordertosurvive.

“Don’t worry, we’re going to touch up the words before you go on display tomorrow. There’s

somebigtownmeetingaboutyourdisappearance,soeveryonewillgettoseeyouinallyourglory.”

“LikeItoldyoubefore,it’syourfuneral.”
“You’vegotmeshakinginmycleats.”
“Youhavenofuckingclue.”

***

Caleb

NooneinthisdamntownwilladmittoknowingaboutwhathappenedtoTegan.Thepeoplewho

areonhersideswearthey’dtellusiftheyknew.Theothersrefusetohelp.Themayorsaysthere’s
nothing he can do, while the damn sheriff was smirking at Reina while telling her he hadn’t heard
anything.Hestartedtosuggestthatsheranoffwithsomeotherguy,butmygrandpatoldhimto“shut
hisfoolmouth,”whicheffectivelysilencedhim.

Todayisthetownmeeting,whichisbeingheldinthefootballstadium,theonlyplacebigenough

tofitthewholetowninside.Reinasaysshe’sgoingtogetanswers,evenifshehastostartshooting

peopletogetthem.

ScottandAinsleyhavehadnoluckwiththetracker.Alltheycanfigureisthattherewassomeweird

electric current on or near Tegan for it to malfunction. The people who have her better have been
smartenoughforittobethe“near”andnotthe“on”option.It’sbeentwodayssinceTeganwastaken,
andwe’reallgettingalittlefrantic.Andreadytospillsomeblood.Ethan’sbeenattachedtome,even
asking me to sleep in his bed with him, and just seeing him hurting is enough to bring out some
primalinstinctsinme.

Jane Corrigan, Helen Wilson, Mallory Daniels, and Maggie Griffin have all flown in for the

meeting. So did the rest of the Griffin family, along with Faith’s boyfriend, Gavin. Zack and Kace
wantedtobehere,butwethoughttheirstarpowerwouldbetoomuchofadistraction.Asitis,Nate’s
glaring at everyone who asks him for an autograph, but he refused to leave when people started
recognizinghim,sayingtheycouldallgofuckthemselvesiftheywon’thelpTegan.Heactuallysaid
thattoafewpeople,andI’lladmititwasprettyawesome.

Nowthatprettymuchthewholetownishere,themayorgoesuptoaddressthecrowd.“Welcome,

everyone,andthankyoufortakingtimeonthisfineSundaytolistentoourguestsspeak.Pleasegive
awarmwelcometoReinaCorrigan.”

Morethanhalfthecrowdcheers,buttheothersbooher.ThemayorlooksoveratReinanervously.

Heshouldbenervous.Lessthanahalfhourago,thePresidentoftheUnitedStateswasonthephone,
telling him she expected his full support and cooperation. He changed his tune from mocking to
submissiveprettydamnfastafterthat.

“Thankstothoseofyouwhoactuallyknowthemeaningofawarmwelcome.Therestofyoucould

drop off the face of the Earth, and I wouldn’t care. I’m inclined to help you there, in fact. You see,
Tegan Kelly is one of my best friends. I would do anything for her, and I know she feels the same
aboutme.I’vetriedtobepatientwithallofyou,butsomeofyouknowwhotookher,yetyou’vehave
refusedtohelpme.You’veevenhelpedoutthecowardswhotookherbysharingthevilepicturesthey
took of her, or making your own signs to replace the ones we took down. I’m all for freedom of
speech,butyoushouldknowthatmyfriendsandIalsohappilyexerciseourrighttobeararms.

“I’mgoingtogiveyouthisonelastchancetogivemetheinformationIneedtohelpmyfriends

andIfindTegan.Youdon’thavetodoitpublicly,youcancallthenumberonthescreenbehindme.
I’llgiveyoufiveminutes.Afterthattime,I’mgoingtounleashtheresourcesatmydisposalandrain
downthekindofHellonthistownthat’sbeyondevenyourworstnightmares.Ifyoudoubtme,you
shouldaskyourmayoraboutthephonecallhehadwiththePresidentlessthananhourago.”

She walks to the side of the stage to stand next to me. “That was awesome. Scary as all hell, but

fuckingawesome.Someone’sgottohelpafterthat.”

“TheybetterbecauseIwasn’tkidding.IwilltakedownthiswholetownifIhaveto.”
“Iknow.”
Rightthen,thecoachofthefootballteamwalksup.Hewasn’tmycoach,andI’venevercaredfor

himverymuch,butifhecanhelp,I’llbemorethanhappytochangemyassessmentofhischaracter.

“Hello,sir.Doyouhavesomeinformationforme?”sheaskshim.
“Yeah.Ihavesomeinfoforyou.Youneedtogobackacrosstheborderwhereyoubelong.Agirl

likeyoucouldgetherselfhurtaroundhere.”

Matt is off the stage in seconds, tackling the bastard to the ground. Before he can recover, Matt

pullsoutagunandshootshimintheshoulder.“Talktomywifelikethatagain,asshole,andIwillend
you.”Helooksaroundatthecrowd,whohavegonequiet.“Thatgoesfortherestofyou,too.”

Theminutestickby,andnoonecallsorcomesuptothestage.Wellexceptfortheparamedicswho

tookthecoachaway.Rightatthefiveminutemark,thevolumeofthecrowdincreasesaspeoplestart
checkingtheirphones.Severalofthembeginrunningfromthestadium.

“Shit,”Scottsays.“I’vegotavisualonTeganandit’snotgood.”

***

Tegan

I had to endure the little bastards re-marking my skin since the letters apparently weren’t as

prominent as they wanted. Of course they kept me tied up, and held down while they did it. We’re
almost to the town square where I’m apparently being put out for all to see me. The only thing
keepingmesaneisthefactthatonceI’minpublic,myfriendswillcomeforme.Andtheseboys.

I’msurprisedthatnoone’saroundwhentheyliftmeoutofthetruck.Usuallyatleastafewofthe

oldtimersarehangingaroundafterchurch.IguessIshouldbehappyforsmallblessings.Theycarry
metothegazeboandtiemetothetopofoneoftheopenings,leavingtheropeslackenoughsothatI
canstand.

“Areyoureadyforyourclose-up,bitch?”thequarterbackasksashetakesapictureofme.
“Areyoureadytohurt,youlittleprick?”
“Youradoringfansshouldbeontheirwayanyminutenow.Havefun.”
Theyallpracticallyrunbacktotheirtrucks,whileItesttheropestoseeifIcangetloosebefore

someoneseesme.Allhopeofthatdisappearswhenpeoplestartpullingupbythecarandtruckload.
Mostofthemhavetheircamerasoutbeforetheyevengetnearme.Iclosemyeyes,andletmemories
mixwithreallifeagain.Onlythistime,it’sgoodmemoriesthatcometome.

“Lookinggood,Tegan.”
“You’remybestfriend,Teeg.Iloveyou.”
“Whydon’tyouspreadyourlegsforus?”
“Youareoneofourbest,Tegan.Neverforgetyourpastbecausethosehardshipsshapedyouintothe

compassionateandstrongwomanyouaretoday.”

“Openyoureyes,andlookatallyourfansgatheredhere.”
“You’reareal-lifesuperhero,Mama.I’mtheproudestkidever.Iloveyou.”
“Hey,guys,doyouthinkwecantouchaswellaslook?”
“Iloveyou,too.”
“Touchheranddie.Iwon’tmakeitquickeither.”
MyeyesflyopenandIknowImustbeseeingthings,butasIwatchhimshootpeople’sphonesout

oftheirhands,Iknowhe’sreallyhere.“Aiden.”

“Hi,Boots.SorryI’mlatetotheparty,”hesaysashecontinuesshooting.
“Heyman,youcan’tshootourphones.”
“Putthemawaythenandlearntohavesomerespect.BecauseIbroughtashittonofbulletswithme,

andwhenthey’regone,I’llbehappytogetupcloseandpersonalwithmyknives.”

“You’recrazy.”
“Yep,”heresponds,standinginfrontofmewithhisarmscrossed.
“Whatareyoudoinghere?”Iaskhim.WhenheleftafterReinaandMatt’swedding,Ididn’texpect

toeverseehimagain.

“Ethancalledandsaidyouweremissing.IgotthefirstflightIcouldsinceIdon’thavethejetsat

mydisposalnow.”

“Thankyou.”
“Anytime. I’d take you down, but we need evidence photos so we can try and figure out who did

this.I’llblockyoufromthem,though.”

“Iknowwhodidit.Theydidn’twearmasks.”

“Really?Dumbasses.”
“Youthink?”
“There’sthesheriffnow.”
“Hewon’thelp.”
“Ohgoody.I’minthemoodtofucksomeoneup.”
“Whatthehellisgoingonhere?I’vegotreportsthatsomeone’sshootingcellphones.”
“You’rejustgoingtoignorethewomanstrungupbehindme?”
“What’sthattheysay,‘karma’sabitch’Ithink?”
“You’retheonlybitchhere.”
“Sotoughwiththatguninyourhand.”
“I’ll be happy to fight you without my gun once someone competent comes by here to collect

evidence.”

“I’mthelawhere.”
“Notanymore,you’renot,”amaninastatepoliceuniformsaysashestartsreadinghimhisrights.
Another man in uniform moves to the front of the crowd as well. “We’re taking over law

enforcementinthistownuntilasuitableandethicalreplacementcanbeputinplace.Isuggestyouall
getonhomeandleavethiswomanalone.I’mnotsureifthejailhasroomforallofyou,butIwon’t
hesitatetotakeeveryonein.”

“Thatguyshotourphones.”
HeturnstoAidenandholdsouthishand.“Goodjob,son.”
“Iaimtoplease.Orampleasedtoaim.Whicheverversionyoulikebetter.”

***

Caleb

“Whereisshe?”Iask.
“Tiedtothegazebointhetownsquare.ThankGodweinstalledthosecamerasallovertown.”
“Weneedtogettoher,”Isay.
Ainsley and Scott are both looking at his tablet now. “Holy shit, Aiden just arrived, and he’s

shootingphones.Andnowhe’sstandinginfrontofher,blockingherfromeveryone’sview.”

“Who’sAiden?”
“Oneofmybestfriends.Heusedtoworkwithus,butthenhehadto…umm…leave,”Natesays.
“Aftertellingmehelovedme,”Elliesays,lookinglikeshemightcry.
“He’llcomearound.Justgivehimtime,”Natetellsher.
“Likeyou’recomingaround?”Jadeasks.
HowdidImissthis?NowthatIknowwhattolookfor,IcanseethatNateandJadewanteachother.

Apparentlyshe’stheonlyonewhowantstoactonthefeelings,though.

“Hey man, take it from me. Don’t let the woman you want get away from you. She may not wait

forever.”

He nods, and then Ainsley curses. “I just rewound the footage and I know who did this to Tegan.

Coincidentally,theyjustwalkedin.”

Ilookoverandseethecurrentfootballteamwalkinginliketheyowntheplace.Liketheyownthe

town.I’mnotsuretheyrealizethatwhoever ’sstillhereisnotontheirside.Thosepeopleranasfast
astheycouldtohumiliateTegan.

“Howarewehandlingthis?”AudreyasksReina.
“Goget‘em,girls,”shesayswithanotheroneofherscarysmiles.

Alleightotherwomenpullouttheirgunsandjumpoffthestage.Withinseconds,they’veeachshot

oneoftheplayers.Nowherelifethreatening,buttheinjuriestolegsandarmswillbecareerending.
Oneofthem,whoIthinkisthequarterback,triestohitStellawithhisuninjuredarm.

“Youbitch.Ihavescholarships,”heyellsassheducks.
“Had.Thewordyou’relookingforishad.You’dstillhavethemifyouhadn’tmessedwithmybest

friend.”

“You’reaslutthen,too,huh?IbetIcouldcloseyoursmartmouththewayIclosedTegan’s.With

myfist.”

Shecockshergunagain,andaimsitdownwards,towardshiscrotch.“Sayanotherword,andI’ll

pullthetrigger.Sopleasesayaword.Anyfuckingword.”

He’sfinallydevelopedatleasthalfabrain,sohestaysquiet.Hisfriendsaresquirmingaroundon

theground,beggingforhelpwhileeveryoneignoresthem.UntilJakehasfinallyhadenough.

“Man up you little assholes. You’d never survive the military if one bullet that isn’t even life-

threateningismakingyoucryforyourmommy.”

“Youwereinthemilitary?”
“Yes,andI’vebeenshot.Morethanonce.”
“Youdidn’tcryforyourmama?”
“MymotheristheChairmanoftheJointChiefsofStaff.Shewould’vekickedmyassforcrying

overalittlebulletwound.”

“I’vegottagettoTegan,”ItellReina.
“They’retransportinghertothelocalhospital,”Scotttellsme.
Inodandstarttogo.OwenGriffinfallsintostepnexttomeandgivesmealistofthingsIshould

pickupatthestorebeforegoingtothehospital.IhatemissinganytimewithTegan,butIknowhe’s
right about me needing to get them first. Those extra few minutes will also give me time to finish
formulatingmyplan.IknewwhatIhadtodoonceIsawthosepictures.Itmightjustkillme,butithas
tobedone.

CHAPTER16

Tegan

Oncethecrowddisperses,thepoliceofficercomesovertowhereAidenandIare.“Ihavetotakea

fewpictures,Tegan.I’llbeasquickaspossible,andthenwe’llgetyoudown.”

“Iunderstand.”
AndIdo,butthethoughtofmorepicturesofme,withthesewordsonmybody,makesmewantto

vomit.HerushesthroughasfastashecanandthenhelpsAidencutmedown.Iswayalittle,butAiden
picksmeupintohisarms.

“Canwecatcharidewithyoutothehospital?There’sbeensomekindofmassshootingatthehigh

school,andmycolleagueforgottogivemethekeystothesheriff’scruiserbeforehetookoff.”

“Sure,”Aidentellshim.“AndtheguyswhogotshotaretheoneswhodidthistoTegan.”
“Well, as long as you don’t shoot me, you do whatever you have to in order to keep this young

womansafe.”

I wonder why he cares so much, but I don’t dwell on it. I’m glad my friends got the football

players,butnowthatit’sover,Ijustfeelreallynumb.Ijustwanttocurlupsomewhereinthedark,but
IknowthatalthoughI’msafe,they’llstillbequestionstoanswerandpityinglookstoendure.Ican
keeptoughingitout.Ihaveto.

Aidentakesoffhist-shirtandputsitovermebeforewegetoutofthecar.Itdoesn’tcovermuchof

myarms,orlegs,butIappreciatethegesture.Sodothenurses,whopracticallyfalloverwhenthey
seehischestandabsondisplay.Hehastoaskthemthreetimesforhelpbeforetheyregisterwhathe’s
saying.Assoonastheygetit,theyjumpintoaction.Eventhoughthisisasmalltown,wehavestateof
theartmedicalfacilitiesthanksinbigparttotheHalls.

Theygetmebacktoaroomprettyquickly,andtheguyswaitoutsidewhileIchangeintoahospital

gown and pull the blanket up to my neck. Once I’m settled, they both come back in, along with a
doctor.

“Tegan,I’mgoingtobebluntwithyoubecauseIdon’tthinkyouneedanyonetobeataroundthe

bushwithyourightnow.”

“Bluntisgood.”
“Isarapekitnecessary?”
“No.”
“ThankGod,”Aidensays.
Icutmyeyestohis,andthenhavetolookaway.EventhoughheknowsIwasn’traped,there’sstill

too much emotion showing on his face. Not pity, because Aiden Ford doesn’t do pity, but emotion
nonetheless.

“Iseethebruisesonyourface.Wereyouhitanywhereelse?”
“Nothit,buttheydiduseseveralcattleprodsonmewhentheytookme.”
“Didyoublackoutatall?”
“Yes.AndthenwhenIwokeupIwasheavilydrugged.Icouldn’tevenopenmyeyes,andIwaskind

ofhallucinating.”

“Whatkindofhallucinations?”
“Icouldhearpiecesofwhattheyweresayingtoeachother,buttheywereinterspersedwiththings

frommypast.”

“Goodorbadthings?”
Itakeadeepbreath.“Verybadthattime.”
“Thishappenedmorethanonce?”
“Yeah. When people started taking pictures and yelling at me today, I started remembering good

thingsmyfriendsandfamilysaidtome.”

“Youdon’tseemdruggedatthemoment.”
“No,whenIwokeupthistime,Iwasalert.Ithinktheywantedmethatway.”
“Idon’tthinkyouwereexperiencinghallucinations,Tegan.Ithinkthatyouwereinshockthefirst

time you were having memories. Something bad was happening to you, and it triggered those old
things.Today,yourbrainusedgoodmemoriesasacopingmechanismtohelpyougetthroughwhat
washappening.”

“I’mfinenow.”
“We both know that’s not true, but for now, I just want you to rest. We can talk about this more

tomorrow.”

“Ihavetostayhere?”
“Yes,yourroomupstairsshouldbeready.”
“I’mnotcrazy.”
“And you’re not going to the psych ward, just a regular hospital room. You’ve had a traumatic

experience.Ijustwantyoutoacceptthat,andletushelpyougetthroughit.”

“Nooffense,butyoucan’thelpme.Ineedtohelpmyself.That’swhatI’vealwaysdone.”
“You’venevertakenhelpfromanyone?”
“OfcourseIhave,butthisisn’tsomethingIneedhelpwith.”
“Regardless,you’restayingheretonight.Iwon’tforceyoutotalktome,ormycolleagues,butI

wantyoutothinkaboutit.Ifyoustilldon’twantourhelp,I’lldischargeyouinthemorning.”

“Thankyou.”
ThenursecomesinandgetsanI.V.goingforme.Thisisbecomingahabit,andnotoneIreally

wanttokeeprepeating.Istilljustwanttocurlupinthedark,onlynowit’llbeinthishospital,andI
probablywon’tbealone.IseetheconcernedlookinAiden’seyes.Ishouldhavekickedhimoutwhile
thedoctorwashere,buthemakesmefeelsafe,andIneedthatrightnow.I’mnotevengoingtotry
andanalyzewhyIfeelthisway.

WhenI’msettledinmyroom,theofficerfinallyspeaks.“MydaughterisLexiJones.”
Wow.Ihelpedhergetawayfromanabusiveboyfriendlastyear.“OhmyGod.Howisshe?”
“She’ddoinggreatsinceyousavedherfromthat…animal.”
“Itwasmypleasure.”
“WhichiswhyItookthisassignmentwhenIheardaboutit,andI’lldoanythingIcantohelpyou

andyourfriends.OrlooktheotherwaywhenIneedto.”

“Thankyou.AndpleasetellLexihiforme.”
“Iwill,”hesays,walkingout.
NowIjustIneedtoworkongettingAidentogivemealonetime.Whenhedropsintotherecliner

intheroom,Iknowhe’snotgoingtogowithoutafight.

“Idon’tneedababysitter,Aiden.”
“Atleastathirdofthistownwasouttheresayingshittoyou,andtakingpictures.Justbecausethe

little pussies that kidnapped you are neutralized, doesn’t mean someone else wouldn’t come after
you.”

“Betweenyouandthatstateofficer,Ithinkthey’retooscaredtocomewithinahundredfeetofme.”
“I’mnotwillingtotakeanychances.”
Ireallyneedhimtoleave,soIdecidetoplayhardball.“Fine.Let’stalkaboutEllie.”
“Yeah,no.”
“Youwanttostay,don’tyou?”
“Thenursesherewon’tthrowmeout,”hesayswithasmirk.
Damnhimandhisabs.“Icouldcallsecuritydirectly.”
“Okayfine,youwin.WecantalkaboutEllie.”
“Ithoughtyouwouldleavebeforeeverdoingthat.”
“Iknow,butrightnowyou’remoreimportant.Soaskorsaywhatever ’sonyourmind.”
“You’reanasshole.”
“That’snotnews.”
“Howcouldyoutellheryouloveherandthenleave?”
“Ididn’tplanontellingherhowIfelt.Ever.ButwhenIsawherthatday,Ihadtotellher.Ineeded

hertoknowhowmuchshemeanstome.Howimportantsheis.Ithinkanywomanwouldneedtohear
thatfromaguytheylike,”hesays,givingmeapointedlook.

“Shedoesn’t‘like’you,shelovesyourightback,andyouknowit.”
Helookstotheceiling,likeitcontainsalltheanswerstolife.“Yeah,Iknow.AndifIwasreallythe

assholeallyougirlsthinkIam,Iwould’vestayedandtakenadvantageofthat.Iwould’vesleptinher
bedeverynightandtakeneverythingshecouldgiveme.Then,whenshewastrulyhappy,Iwould’ve
shownherwhoIreallyam,anddestroyedher.”

“Bullshit.Youareanhonorableman,AidenFord.”
“ThehellIam.”
“Youcamehereforme.”
“I’dhelpanyofyou,anytime.Thatdoesn’tmakemehonorable.”
“Um,yeahitdoes.AndwebothknowifithadbeenEllieupthere,nooneinthatsquarewouldbe

aliverightnow.”

“See,you’refinallygettingit.You’reseeingmytruenature.Iliketokill,Teeg.Itwasn’tjustajob

formeinthemilitary.IlikedwhatIwasdoing.”

“I haven’t heard of you killing anyone since you’ve been working with us. You’ve hurt people,

sure.Butnotkilling.”

“I’vebeenabletocontrolmyselfforthelastfewyears,butIwasgoingtokillthemanbiddingon

Ellieintheauctionlastmonth.IwasalreadyplanningthedifferentwaysIcoulddoitinmyhead,just
incase.”

“Again,thatwastoprotecther.Thinkingofit,anddoingit,aretwodifferentthings.”
“Ican’ttakethatchance.Iwouldn’tsurviveitifEllielookedatmelikethemonsterthatIam.”
“Sheneverwould.”
“Myurgesaregettingstronger,Tegan.I’mgoingtokillsoon.”
“Iknowyou,Aiden.Youwouldn’tkillaninnocentpersonjustbecauseyoufeellikeit.”
AtleastIhopehewouldn’t.Thisconversationisscaringmealittle,butbeingthemasterthatIamat

fakingit,Idon’tshowevenanounceofthatfear.

“Ineverkilledanyonewhowasinnocent.IwasavigilantewhenIwasyounger.Iwentafterpeople

andorganizationsthatwerehurtingandexploitingotherpeople.”

“WhichisprettymuchwhatwedointheSociety.”
“Youhaverulesandonlykillwhennecessary.Ikilledfirst.”
It’stimeformetotellhimthetruth.“Lookatme.”Iwaitwhilehedoes.“Nothingyoucansaytome

now,ordointhefuture,willevermakemethinklessofyou.Andyou’rejustlikeabrothertome.

EllielovesyouatleastathousandtimesmorethanIdo.Shewilldowhatevershecantohelpyou,but
intheend,she’llacceptyouforwhoyouare.Shealreadyhas.Giveherachancetoproveittoher.”

“She’llacceptthatI’mastonecoldkiller?Yeah,right.”
“Faithkilledforjustice.Andbetweenyouandme,I’mprettysuresheenjoyeditonoccasion.”
“You’re not going to change my mind, but thank you for trying. I hope you’ll keep this

conversationbetweenusbecausewebothknowElliewillcomeaftermeifsheknowswhyIleft.”

“Fornow,Iwill.I’mgivingyoutimetocometoyoursenses.”
“Don’tholdyourbreath.”
“AmIinterruptingsomething,”Calebasksashewalksintotheroom.
“Nope.Wewerejustfinished.YoumustbeCaleb,”Aidensaysholdingouthishand.
Calebtakesitwithasmile.“Andyou’reAiden.ThankyouforprotectingTeganandstayingwith

heruntilIcouldgethere.”

“You don’t need to thank me.” He walks over to kiss me on the forehead. “It looks like your

interrogationisover,Boots.I’llbebacktocheckonyoutomorrow.”

“Gotoher.”
“Goodluckwiththisone,man.She’sinrareformtonight,”hesayswithachuckleashewalksout

ofmyroom.

Thenit’sjustmeandCaleb.Iwanttopullhimtome,andlethimholdme,butIdon’tthinkIcan

evenshowmyweaknesstohim.Ioptforhumorinstead.

“Whatdidyoubringme,Cowboy?Booze,burgers,condoms?”

***

Caleb

Tegan’sjokingwithmetokeephermask,hershield,inplace.Whatshedoesn’trealizeisthatI’m

heretoshatterthatmask.Ihaveto,becauseshe’shurtingsomuch,andIneedhertoletitout,andlet
mefinallybetheretopickherupwhenshefalls.

“Noneoftheabove,I’mafraid.Ibroughtsomethingstocleanyouupwith.”
“I’mfine.”
“Ha.That’sthefirstthingawomansayswhenshe’sreallynot.”
“Seriously,Cal.Whydon’tyoujustcomeoverhereandkissmeforafewhours.”
“Afterwe’redonewiththeshower,I’dbehappytotakeyouuponthatoffer.”
“Soapandwaterwon’tgetridofSharpie.”
“WhichiswhyOwentoldmeexactlywhattoget.Well,actuallyhegavemethreechoices.”Istart

pullingbottlesoutofmybag,andplacingthemonhertraytable.“Babyoil,whichhetellsmecanbe
funforgettingpaintoff,too.Sowe’llcallthisone‘sexy.’Thenwehaverubbingalcohol,whichis,
well‘notsexy.’Doornumberthreeholdshandsanitizer.It’snotsexy,butit’snotnotsexysolet’sjust
callit‘neutral.’”

“I-Idon’twanttofeelsexyrightnow.”
She’sopeningupalready.Thisisagoodsign.“Byebye,‘sexy’then,”ItellherasIthrowtheoil

backinthebag.

“Rubbingalcoholsmellstoostrongtobeusedforanextendedperiodoftime.”
Itossthealcoholinthebag,andpointtothehandsanitizer.“Neutralforthewin.”
“Iguessso,”shetellsme.
Ipullmywalletandphoneoutofmyjeansandputthemonthetable.Next,Isitdowntoremovemy

shoesandsocks.“Iwouldtakeoffmyshirtandjeans,butIdon’twanttogivethenursesaheartattack

iftheywalkinonusandseewhatafinespecimenofmanIam.Iknowit’sahospital,andtheycould
probablybesaved,butstill.”

“They’veseenAidenshirtlessalready,soIthinkyou’resafe.”
“AreyousuggestinghelooksbetterwithhisshirtoffthanIdo?”Iask,withoneeyebrowquirked.
“No.Iwouldneversuggestthat.”
“Youaresuchabrat.”
“Really?Becausenoonewrotethatwordonme,”shesays,slidingfurtherundertheblanketonher

bed.

“You’renotthosewords,”ItellherasIwalkoverandsitonthebednexttoher.“Iknowyouknow

thatbecauseyoutoldmethatyourselfwhenIwasbeinganass.Let’sgogetthemoffofyou.”

Ipullattheblanket,butsheholdsontightfrombeneathit.“Idon’twantyoutoseemelikethis.”
“TheAmazingAidensawyouupcloseandpersonal.”
“Yeah,butI’venevertriedtoimpresshim.”
“Youimpressedmewhenweweretenyearsold,andI’vebeenunderyourspelleversince.”
“Webothknowthat’snottrue.”
“Straightforthejugular,huh?”
“It’sagift.”
It’salsoanotherpartofhershield.“Comeon,let’sgettotheshower,”Isay,tuggingontheblanket

again.

Sheletsmepullitoffthistime,andIforcemyselftolookonlyatherface.I’llhavetolookather

when I’m cleaning her off, but she needs to know that I only see her right now, and not what those
littleprickswroteonher.Ipullherupuntilshe’ssittingonthesideofthebed.Afterhandingherthe
giantbottleofsanitizerandsomewashclothsIbroughtwithme,Ipickherupinmyarmsandcarry
hertothesmallbathroom.

Theshoweristhetypeyoucanwalkrightinto.I’llturnonthewateronceweneedit,butfornowI

just lower us down to the floor, sitting crossed legged with Tegan on my lap. She hands me the
suppliesandIpoursomeliquidintomyhandbeforereachingforwardtorubitintoherskin.Ittakesa
littlework,butthefirstwordstartstodisappearasIgooveritwithawashcloth.

“Ineedyoutodosomethingelseforme,honey.”
“What,”sheasks,herfaceburiedinmyshouldersoshedoesn’thavetowatchwhatI’mdoing.
“Ineedyoutocry.”
Sherearsbackandlooksatme,searchingmyeyesforthejoke.WhensheseesthatI’mserious,she

triestopullawayfromme.I’mnotlettingthathappen.“Letgoofme,Cal.”

“No,”Isaypullingherfacebackuptomine.“IpromiseyouthatIwillneveraskyoutocryforme

again.IknowI’vecausedtoomanyofyourtearsinthepast,andI’mgoingtodoeverythingIcanto
notmakethathappenagainaftertoday.Butyouneedtocrynow.”

“I-Idon’twantto.”
“Yes.Youdo.Youjustdon’tthinkyoucan.You’vehadtobestrongforsolongbecauseyoudidn’t

trust anyone else enough to allow yourself to show weakness. You love your friends, but you’re
scaredofbeingweakinfrontofthem.I’mlettingyouknowthatyoucantrustmetobestrongenough
foryou,toneverholditagainstyou.Letmeholdyouwhileyoubreak.Break,Tegan.Notforme,but
foryou.Cryforyou.”

Icanseethemomentwhenshebelievesmywords,whenshebelievesme.It’srightbeforethefirst

sobescapesfromherthroat.Withinseconds,she’sheavingasshecrieshard.Ikeeponearmaround
herasIcontinueusingmyotherhandtoremovethewordsfromherskin.

“WhatamI,Cal?”sheasksme,tearsflowingdownhercheeks.“Ifnotthese,whatwordsareme?”

“Beautiful,brilliant,loving,compassionate,kick-ass,sensual,loyal,andthousandsofotherwords

thatpeoplewouldlovetobecalled,”Itellher,punctuatingeverywordwithakiss.

“Youreallythinkso?”
“No.Iknowso.”

CHAPTER17

Caleb

We’relyinginherhospitalbednow,afterIgotallthewordsoff.Ourconversationhasn’tended

yet,though,andI’mholdingherinmyarmsasshecontinuestogetouteverythingshe’sbeenholding
insidefortoolong.

“Ifeellikesuchafailuresometimes,Cal.LikeIdon’tknowwhatI’mdoing.WithEthan,withmy

friends, with guys. I just feel like I can’t juggle it all. I’m afraid Ethan’s not getting what he needs.
ThatI’mlettinghimdown.I’veneveradmittedthattoanyone,butIcan’thelpthinkthatit’strue.”

“Aww,Teeg.Oursonisthemostwell-adjustedkidI’veevermet.He’sorneryasfuck,buthehasn’t

missedout.Atall.Thekidhasthebestofthebestinalmosteveryfieldsupportingandhelpinghim.
Youhaveagreatsupportsysteminplace.Notallsinglemomsarethatlucky,butIwouldguessthat
mostofthemfeellikeafailuresometimes.You’realljustdoingwhatyouneedtoinordertoprovide
foryourkids,sacrificingyourownlifefortheirs.Asfor‘guys’,well,there’sonlyoneofthemfrom
nowon.Me.”

“Ithinkyou’regoingtobethehardesttojuggle.”
“Isthatametaphorforsex,sinceyouknow,mostpeoplejuggleballs?”
“Jack-ass,” she says, slapping my arm. “I just mean that I’m going to want to be with you all the

time.”

“Yeah?”
“Uh-huh.”
“Ifyou’relookingformetocomplain,that’snotgoingtohappen.”
“SoIcancomedowntoyourlabandgetonmykneestosuckyouoffwhileyou’reworkingon

yourformulas?”

“IfyouwantmetoblowupthebuildingwhenImixsomethingwrong,sure.”
“See?It’sgoingtobeaproblem.”
“Nosexytimeswhileworking,butIcantakebreaks.Lotsandlotsofbreaks.”
“Idon’twanttoquitmyjob.”
“Goodthingyouhaveabuiltinbabysitternow.I’mnotgonnalie,Teeg.I’llmissyoulikecrazy

andsleeplikeshitbecauseI’llworryaboutyouwhileyou’regone,butI’lldeal.”

“I’llmakeituptoyouwhenIcomehome.”
“Just knowing I get to be there with you, and Ethan, is more than worth the times we have to be

apart.”

“When the guys had me, I thought about a bunch of bad things for a while, but then I thought of

goodthings.ThedoctorheresaidIwasusingthemtocope.Hewantedmetogeteverythingout.”

“AreyousayingIcouldbeadoctorsinceIknewthat’swhatyouneeded,too?”
“No.I’msayingthatIhavesomehardthingsthatIneedtosaytoyou.”
“Goahead.Saywhateveryouneedto.I’mnotgoinganywhere.”
“Youhurtmesomuch,Cal.Ilovedyou,onlyyou,forsolong,andthenyoucalledmethesame

wordsyoujustremovedfrommybody.Youmovedonimmediatelywithanothergirl,andyoudid

everythingyoucouldtotearmedown.Allbecauseyouchosetobelievesomethingthatwasn’ttrue.
Withoutaskingmeyourself.Yousaidyoulovedme,buthowisthatlove?”

I take a deep breath. I can do this, I can give her the truth. “I loved you, Tegan. Have no doubts

about that. But I let my insecurities and fear become more important. For about six months before
the…incident, I had started having crazy feelings when we were out. Especially when we were in
Houston.Isawhowthecollegeguyswerelookingatyou.Hell,whywouldn’ttheylookatyou?You
were brilliant, and gorgeous. Plus you didn’t try to bring attention to yourself like so many of the
othergirlsdid.Youworeplaidshirts,jeans,andbootstotheparties,notshortskirts.”

“I did that to try and let them know I wasn’t looking. I wanted it to be clear that I was off the

market.”

“Really?”
“Yes.Ionlyhadeyesforyou.Always.”
“Iwastoodumbtorealizethat.Ijustkeptthinkingabouthowwewereeachother ’sfirst,andthat

youwouldwantsomeonewithmoreexperience.Someonewhocouldpleaseyoubetter.”

“Better?Didwenotjustrecentlytalkaboutthebarn,andhowIscreamedsoloudtheranchhands

camerunning?”

“I never said I was smart back then. Well, not more than book smart, at least. I just figured we’d

beentogethertoolong.Asfriends,andthenmore.Whywouldyouwantthatwhenyoucouldhavea
shinynewguy?”

“DespitehowIdecoratemyplaces,I’mnotallthatfondofnewandshinyinotherpartsofmylife.I

likeold-schoolandmuddy.”

“I couldn’t see that then. I was just too scared. So when Greg said you’d slept with him, it made

sensetomeinaweirdway.ItvalidatedalltheinsecuritiesI’dbeenfeelingandobliteratedmypride.I
had to get at least that back, so I started dating Dee and did everything I could to tear you down. I
wantedyoutohurtlikeIwashurting.”

“I was sixteen and pregnant, watching the guy I loved kissing the girl I hated. Believe me, I was

hurting.”

“I’msodamnsorrythatyouhadtogothroughallofthatalone.Ishould’vebeentherewithyou,

goingtoyourappointmentsandholdingyouhand.Iwould’vebeenthereifthingshadn’tgonedown
thewaytheyhad,Ineedyoutoknowthat.Iwouldhavefoughtyourparentsandbroughtyoutothe
safetyofourranch.

“Iwould’vekissedyourbelly.God,IwishIcouldhaveseenitallroundwithourbabyinsideofit,”

ItellherasIrunmyhandoverhernowflatstomach.“Diditgetreallybig?”

“Yeah.Mybreastsgothuge,too.”
“Tortureaguy,whydon’tyou?”
“You’llseethemnexttime.”
Isitupandlookdownather,whatIknowhastobeacrazysmileonmyface.“Therecanbeanext

time?Really?”

“Yeah.We’restillyoung,andEthanhasalwayswantedabrotherorsister.”
Shelookssadagain,andI’mnotsurewhy.“What’swrong?”
“Ishouldn’thavekepthimfromyou,Cal.Ithoughtyouhatedmeforsolong,andthenIwasscared

you’dtrytotakehim.ButwhatIdidwasn’tright,foreitherofyou.”

“I’vealreadyforgivenyou,Teeg.Neitheroneofusmadethechoicesweshould’ve.I’mjustgladto

have him—and you—now. I’m pretty sure that he’ll let me teach him stuff now that you and I are
good.”

“Hewouldn’tletyouteachhimthingsattheranch?”
“No.Itoldyouthekid’sornery.”

“I’msorry.”
“It’snotyourfault.Iknowyouwellenoughtoknowyouwould’vetoldhimtobenicetome.”
“Ireallywould’ve.”
“Knock,knock,”Stellasays,walkinginthedoor.
“Bestie,”Tegansayswithasmile,sittinguptohugherfriend.
“Isthisokay?Imean,Iknowyoutwowereprobablytalkingaboutseriousshit.Ijustcouldn’twait

anylonger.”

“It’sfine.Wehavetherestofourlivestotalk.HowaboutIleaveyoutwoalonewhileIgopickup

Ethan?Ipromisedtobringhimbytonight.”

“Thanks,”Tegansays,kissingmelikeshemeansit.
“I’llbebacksoon,andI’mstayingthenight.”
“IcantakeEthanbacktothehouse,orranch.”
“That’dbegreat,Stella.I’llseeyouladiessoon.”

***

Tegan

“You two looked extremely cozy,” Stella says. We’re sitting cross legged on my hospital bed

acrossfromeachother.

“Wewere.”
“Ohno.Youarenotgoingtodogethebigelephantintheroom.”
“We’ve both done things wrong,” I tell her, looking down to play with the edge of my hospital

gown.

“Yousavedhisassandheaskedforadivorce.”
“Iknow.”
“What if you accidentally burn dinner? Or forget to wash his shorts? Is he going to be all like

‘sorry,Teeg,butI’mout’again?”

“Icertainlyhopenot.”
“I’mserious.”
Ilookbackupather.“SoamI.I’velovedhimmostofmylife.Backthen,Ithoughtitwasthebest

thingever.Thathewasthebestthingever.Hewasn’tthen,butIknowheisnow.”

“Andwhendidyouhavethisgreatepiphany?”
“WhenheremovedallthewordsfrommybodywhiletellingmethatIneededtogoaheadandcry.

ThathewouldbemystrengthwhileIletmyselfbreak.Andthenwashedmyhairforme.”

Her eyes widen as she looks me over. “Oh my God. I didn’t even notice that your skin was

unmarked.Andthosethingshesaid?Plus,washingyourhair?Okay,I’mfirmlyTeamCaleb.He’sa
keeper.”

“Yes,heis,andIthinkhe’sfinallygoingtoletmedojustthat.”
“Good.ThenIwon’tneedtoshoothim.”
“Pleasedon’t.”
“Buzzkill.”
“Triggerhappy.”
“Besties.”
“Forlife.”
We talk and laugh until Caleb gets back with Ethan. My boy jumps on the bed and tackles me

backwardwhenheseesme.

“Iwassoworried,Mama.”
“Honestly,Iwastoo.”
“IknewtheSoShwouldgetyouback,butIdidn’tknowhowlongitwouldtake.”
“SoSh?”Calebaskshim,lookingconfusedasStellaandIsmile.
“Yeah.TheSocietyofSuperheroes.Mamaandherfriends.”
“Hestartedcallingusthatacoupleofyearsago,”Iexplain.
“Waytogo,E.Alreadycharmingtheladies.”
“Youknowit.”
Irollmyeyesandhughimagain.“Areyoustayingatthehousetonight,ortheranch?”
“Theranch,ifthat’sokay.Grandmawantstospendmoretimewithme.”
“Ofcourseit’sokay.Aslongasyouletyourdadshowyousomestufftomorrow,”Itellhimwith

thatscary“mom”lookonmyface.Well,atleastIhopeit’sscary.

Hesighs.“Ifiguredhe’dtellyou.”
“Sorry,butyourmomandIaretryingtonotkeepsecretsfromeachotheranymore.”
“Don’tapologizetohim,”ItellCal,andthenpinEthanwithanotherlook.“Yourfatherdescribes

youasornery?Isthathowyoureallywanthimtothinkofyou?”

“Maybe.”
“EthanCalebHall.”
“No.Idon’twanthimtothinkofmethatway.”
“Onemoresigh,andIswearthatI’mspankingyourass.”
“You’regoingtobethefunparent,rightDad?”
“I’mgoingtobetheparentwhotansyourhideforsassingyourmom.Andthentakesyououttoa

ballgameafterbecauseIfeelbad.”

“Nice.”
“Giveyourmomanotherhug,andthenweneedtogetgoing,”Stellasays.
“Oh.Jadegavemeabagshesaidyouneeded,”Calebtellsher.
“It’sforTegan.Youtwocangowaitinthehallforafewminutes.”
“Don’tlookatmelikethat.Ihavenoclue,”ItellCaleb.
“You’llbehometomorrow,rightMama?”
“That’stheplan.”
“Okay.Iloveyou.”
“Iloveyou,too.”
HeturnstoCalebandhugshim.“Iloveyou,Dad.”
“Loveyoutoo,E.”
Stellashoosthemoutoftheroomandthenturnstome.“IhadJadepackupyourrecentVictoria’s

Secretpurchases.”

“I’minthehospital,Stell.”
“Withjustafewbruisesonyourface,andemotionalscarsthatarehealing.Tellmeyoudon’twant

todothatsexyhunkofman.”

“I’mhookeduptomachines.”
“I’lltellthenursestoignoreyourheartmonitor.”
“Ialreadyhaveabadreputationinthistown.”
“Exactly.Whyshouldn’tyouuseittoyouradvantage?”
“Givemethedamnbag.”
“Gladly.”
IdecideonwhattowearandputitonwhileStellatamesmyhairasbestshecan.OnceI’masgood

asIcangetwhileinthehospital,Istretchoutontopoftheblanketsandwaitforhertosendhimin.

“Hey,Teeg…whoa…I…damn,honey.”
“Thanksforbringingthisforme.”
“IfI’dknownwhatwasinthatbag,Iwould’vekickedthemoutearlier,”hesaysashewalksover

andrunsafingerupmybareleg.

“Noyouwouldn’thave.”
“You’reright.Thekidcomesbeforethesex.Ohdamn,thatsoundedsowrong.”
“Yes,itdid,”Isaywithalaugh.
“Iseemtohaveleftmysuaveathome.”
“Aslongasyoudidn’tleaveyouryummycockthere.”
Helooksdown.“Nope,that’sstillattached,andgrowingbythesecond.”
“JustlikeIloveit.”
Hemoveshisfingerbetweenmylegs,pushingthelaceofmythongaside,anddippinghisfinger

intome.Hepullsitoutandsucksitintohismouth.“Youpussy’sjusthowIloveitaswell.”

Ialmostcamerightthen.Seriously.Thatwassofuckingerotic.Mynipplesarestrainingagainstthe

sheerfabriccoveringthem,andIcanfeelmyselfgettingwetter.Ineedhimnow.

“Howdoyouwantme,Cal?”
“Ishouldbeaskingyouthat.”
“Iwantwhateveryouwant.Please.Don’tgetusedtoit,butrightnowIwantyouincharge.”
“Iwon’trefuseyou.Noworever,”
Helowersthesiderailsonthebedandthenreachesdownforthebuttonsthatcontrolit,loweringit

until it’s just above his knees. I watch as he whips his shirt over his head and pulls his jeans and
boxersofftogether.Healmosttripswhenheforgetsthathisshoesarestillon,andIsmileknowing
thatI’mtheonewho’smadehimsocrazed.

Hestraddlesthebed,movingmylegsup,andsittingdownbeforeanglingthelowerportionofthe

bedupwiththecontrols.“Turnaround,scootup,andholdontothetopofthebed.”

Idoashesays.MovingmyI.V.lineovermyheadtogetitoutoftheway.OnceI’mwherehewants

me,hethrowsmylegsoverhisandlowersthetopofthebedalmosttotheground.

“Put your head back so you don’t get lightheaded,” he says as he rips my thong apart, grips my

hips,andthrustsintome.

Iarchmybackandthrowmyheadbackwithoutevenhavingtothinkaboutit.“Youfeelsogood.”
“You said we could make another baby, so we’re not using condoms anymore, even once your

birthcontrolwearsoff.Iwanttofeelyou,andknowI’mleavingmyselfinyoueverytime.”

“Yes.Somuchyes.”
I let go of the top of the bed to brace myself on my hands as he thrusts harder and harder. It’s

perfect.He’sgettingdeeperwitheverystroke,andIthinkImaygocrazywithpleasure.Whenoneof
his hands moves below me so that his fingers can circle and then pinch my nipple, I do. I come so
hard that I don’t think my orgasm will ever stop. I’m still clenching his cock inside me when he
shakesinme.

AssoonasIcollapsebackontothebed,heraisesthetopbackupandthebottombackdown.We

silentlyputafewclothesbackon,climbundertheblankets,andfallasleepwithourarmsaroundeach
other.Thenurseswakemeuptocheckmyvitalseveryhour,butIsnugglebackintoCalebwhenthey
leaveagain.

We’re still wrapped up together when the doctor comes in the next morning. I introduce him to

Caleb, telling him he’s my husband. He’s very happy that Cal got me to open up, and after looking
overmychart,tellsmeI’mfreetogo.IthankhimandthencuddlebackintothechestIloveforafew
moreminutes.Thesensiblescientistmakesmegetuptoputonclothes,remindingmethatthesooner

Igetdressed,thesoonerhecantakemehometobed.I’mdressedandoutthedoorinfifteenminutes.
Beingmarriedtothetownprincedefinitelyhasitsadvantages.

CHAPTER18

Tegan

It’sbeentwoweekssinceIgotoutofthehospital,andthingsarefinallydyingdown.Reinatoldme

totakeasmuchtimeoffasIneeded,andLukegotpermissionforEthantotemporarilygotoschool
here,butgetcreditathisschoolinLasVegas.It’sbeenfun,watchinghimandCalebbondevenmore.

Isleepineveryday,andwhenCalgetsbackfromdroppingEthanoffatschool,hewakesmeup

with his mouth or hands. We make love for a couple of hours before he goes downstairs to his
makeshiftlab,andworksonhisformulas.IreadorbingewatchTVshowsI’vemisseduntilschoolis
out.

WebothpickupEthan,butwhiletheygobacktotheranchtodo‘cowboythings,’Iheadtothehigh

school. Soon after I got out of the hospital, the guidance counselor from the school contacted me,
askingifIwouldbewillingtotalktosomeofthegirlsattheschoolwhowerehavingaroughtime.I
immediatelyagreed,andnowwemeetdaily.

Istartedwithjustasmallgroupofgirlswhowerethevictimsofbullying.Forthewaytheydress,

thepovertytheylivein,theirweight,theirsexualorientation,theirskincolor,oreventheirbrains.
Now,therearethirtygirls,includingmostofthecheerleadingsquadandthegirls’sportsteams.We
evenhaveafewpageantqueens.Allthesegirlsaresodifferentontheoutside,butthroughjustsimple
conversations where they can say whatever they need to, they’ve come to realize that they’re a lot
alike.

Todayisaspecialday—notjustbecausewe’remeetingonaSaturday—butbecausemyfriendsare

comingtotalktothegirls,too.AlltheSocietygirls,plusalloftheGriffinwomenwillbemeeting
meattheschool.IalsoinvitedCaleb’smom,andsomeoftheotherwomenwho’vesupportedme.I’ll
begoinghomeafternextweek’sgalatocelebratethe‘fueldeal,’andIwanttomakesurethatthere
areotherswhocankeepthisprogramgoing.Especiallynowthatsomeboysareaskingtojoin,too.

“Whyareyousosmilingsobig,CalebHall?Youlooklikethecatwhoswallowedthecanary.”
“Justhappy,TeganHall.Veryhappy,”
“Whatever.Don’ttellme.I’llfindout,though,youknowIwill.”
“You’reaboutto.In3,2,1…”
I look out the car window and my mouth drops in shock as tears form in my eyes. We’re at the

school,butitlookslikethewholetown’shere,insteadofjustthepeopleIwasexpectingtosee.There
arebigsignsalloverwithmyfaceandpositivemessages.

“TegAn Kelly is______, and so am I!” is what the signs say. There are words like “smart,”

“beautiful,”“nice,”“awesome,”andsomanymorehandwrittenin.

Inthefrontofthecrowd,myfriendsandthegirlsfromthegroupareallwearingshirts,too.They

say“TegAnKellyis_____,andhavesayingswrittenontheminSharpie.Stella’ssays“mybestiefor
life.”Wayne’ssays“Mykryptonite.”Ethan’ssays“mymama.”Myeyesaregettingtooblurrytosee
anymore,andIdropmyheadintomyhands.

“Heythere,howareyougoingtoseemyshirtifyou’renotlookingatme,”Calebasksasheturns

offthecar.

Ilookupashetakesoffthejackethe’swearing.HisshirthasKellycrossedoutandHallwrittenin.

Theentiremessagesays“TeganHallistheloveofmylife.”Iburstbackintotears.“Youpromisedto
nevermakemecryonpurposeagain,youjerk.”

“Thesearehappytears.I’mallowedhappytears.”
“Iloveyou.”
“Iloveyou,too.Nowlet’sgetoutofthistruckbeforetheyallcomeoveranddragyouawayfrom

me.”

Hegetsoutandthencomesaroundtoopenmydoor.Weholdhandsasthecrowdcheers.Igetmore

hugsthanIeverthoughtI’dhaveinmylife,beforeCaltakesmyhandagain.Weleadthecrowdinto
thefootballstadiumwhichhasafulloncarnivalgoingon.There’salsoastagewithaDJandadance
areaononeend.Don’tevengetmestartedonthefood.MymouthiswateringandCalebhastothrow
meoverhisshouldertokeepmeontrackasItrytobreakaway.

“Later,honey,”hetellsmewithalaughasIsmackhisass.
“Youbetterbuymeoneofeverything.”
“It’sallfreeforeveryone.Courtesyofmyfamily,andyours.Yourrealfamily,Imean,”heinforms

meashesetsmeonthestage.

“Wehavethebestfamilies.”
“Yeswedo.”
Hesitsnexttomeinoneofthechairsonthestageasthehighschoolguidancecounselorstepsup

tothemicrophone.Isqueezehishand,knowingthewaterworksareprobablygoingtobebackoutin
fullforce.Hesqueezesback,andhandsmeaboxofKleenexfromnexttohischair.

“Thank you all for coming out today to help us celebrate Tegan Kelly. For many years, she was

vilifiedinthistown,andwhentheincidentsofafewweeksagooccurred,Iknewshecouldhelpthe
girls—andboys—ofthistownlookathowtheytreateachotherandallowthemselvestobetreated.I
approachedheraboutmeetingwithsomestudents,andshedidn’thesitatetosayyes.Hersmallgroup
hasgrown,withmorestudentsaskingtojoineveryday.She’llbegoinghomesoon,butshe’spassing
thetorchtosomeotheramazingwomenintownsotheycancontinuetheworkshe’sstarted.

“The students came to me a few days ago, and asked if we could do something for Tegan. They

wanted to remind her, and everyone else in this town, just how special and awesome she is. There
werehorriblewordsusedtodescribeherinthepast,andweallagreedthatwewantedtoreplacethem
withallthegoodthereisinher.Herhusbandandfriendsjumpedintohelp,andnowwehavethisbig
celebration.” She turns to look at me, where I’m ugly crying with Caleb’s arm around me. “Tegan,
we’dloveforyoutosaysomethingifyoucould.”

Ican.Infact,inthatmoment,IrealizethatI’mgoingtorevealmybiggestsecrets.It’stime.Istand

andhugher,beforesteppinguptothemicrophone.

“Youallhavenoideawhatthegiftyou’vegiventometodaymeanstome.Besidesfillingmewith

loveandgratitude,yourgestureshavegivenmestrength.ThestrengthIneedtofinallytelleveryone
whatreallyhappenedtomerightbeforeIleftthistownallthoseyearsago.Onlyacoupleofpeople
heretodayknowallofthestory.Myhusband,son,andbestfriendhaven’tevenheardwhatI’mgoing
to tell you. For too long, I was scared to admit that I was weak, but Caleb has taught me that
sometimesthepersonyoulovewillbestrongenoughforbothofyou.”

I take a deep breath, and try to keep my voice steady. “When I was sixteen, I found out I was

pregnant. Although I’m not here to condone teen pregnancy, I can tell you that I wasn’t scared, or
worried.Iknewmyboyfriendlovedme,andwouldloveourchild,too.UntilImadeamistakeata
partyinHouston.It’snotthemistakeyouallhavethoughtitwasforovertenyears,butitwasabig,
naïvemistakeonmypartnonethesame.

“Ihadheardthewarningsaboutnotlettingsomeonegiveyouadrinkatapartyifyoudidn’twatch

themopenin,orpourit.Ifastrangerhadofferedtograbmeadrinkthatnight,Iwould’vedeclined.
Butitwasoneofmyboyfriend’sbestfriendswhooffered,anditwasjustasoda.IthoughtIwassafe
withhim,butIwasn’t.”

“Motherfucking bastard,” I hear Cal say behind me, but I make myself face forward so I can

continuewithoutbreakingdown.

“Istartedtofeelweird,andveryhot.IaskedforCaleb,butGregtoldmethathedidn’tknowwhen

he’dbeback.HesaidIshouldjusttakeoffmyclothesifIwashot.Inmydruggedstate,Ithoughtthat
wasanexcellentidea;although,partofmewastellingmesomethingwasverywrong.Itjustwasn’ta
bigenoughparttomakemestop.WhenGregpulledmeintohisroom,andclosedthedoor,Itookoff
myshirtandjeans.Ihadonloosejeans,whichallowedmetokeepmybootsonwhileItookthemoff.
Thatwasagoodthing,becauseI’dneedthosebootslater.

“WhenGregstartedtolaymedownonthebed,Ifeltmyselfgettingsick.Iwasstillinthephaseof

my pregnancy where I had morning, noon, and night sickness. I’ve always believed my son was
protectingmethatnight,becauseIhadtothrowup.GregputatrashcanundermeasIrolledtothe
sideofthebedandthrewupeverythinginmystomach.Doingthatdidn’tremovethedrugfrommy
bloodstream, but it did clear my head enough to make me realize I was almost naked in a bed with
someonewhowasn’tmyboyfriend.IkneedGregintheballs,andranfromtheroom.

“IhonestlycannotevenrememberpassingbytheotherpartygoersasIgotoutofthathouseasfast

asIcould.IwasluckythatthehouseinHoustonwasnearcampus,becausetherewasatwenty-four
hourwomen’sclinicjustdownthestreet.Ihadseenitwhenwe’ddrivenpastearlier,andIranthere
like my life—and my baby’s—depended on it. When I ran in yelling about my baby, they thought I
was in labor or miscarrying. The doctor on duty calmed me down enough for me to tell her that I
thoughtI’dbeendruggedandwasworriedaboutmybabybeingaffectedbythedrug.”

“I’mgoingtothatfuckingjailandendinghislife.Iswearit.”
“Aftercheckingmeout,andkeepingmeovernightwhileshehadalocalhospitalrushmyblood

tests,sheconfirmedthatI’dbeendrugged,buttoldmemybabywouldbefine.SheaskedmeifIknew
whatIwasplanningtodoaboutmypregnancy,andItoldherIwaskeepingmybaby.Isaidthatthe
fatherwouldbeasadamantasIwas,andwe’dfindawaytomakeitwork.”

“OhmyGod.”
Ihavetoturnthistime,becauseIknowhe’sbeatinghimselfup.“Stopit,Cowboy.Youdidn’tknow.

Andit’sabouttogetworse,soIneedyoutobeokay,”Isaywithmyhandoverthemicrophone.He
nods,soIlookbackatthecrowdandcontinuemystory.

“Thingsdidn’tworkoutthewayIthoughttheyweregoingto,asmostofyouknow.GregsaidI

slept with him, and Caleb believed him. He and his friends called me horrible names, and said
horrible things to me until the only thing keeping me from killing myself was the baby that was
growinginmybelly.Mysonwassavingme,overandoveragain,beforehewasevenborn.That’s
justthekindofawesomeheis.

“I tried to hide my pregnancy from my parents while I was figuring out how to get out of town.

When my mother discovered my secret, she told me I had to have an abortion. She made an
appointment,andIwasn’tallowedtoleavethehouseuntilshetookmetoHoustonthatday.Luckwas
onmyside,sincetheappointmentwasatthesameclinicIhadruntothenightoftheparty.Thedoctor
had seen my name on the list and knew there was something wrong since I had been so sure that I
wantedthebaby.Shecalledherfriend,CyndiEvans,andaskedhertocometoHouston.

“When we got to the appointment, the doctor insisted on seeing me alone. She took me into her

office,whereImetCyndiforthefirsttime.Itoldthemmystory,andtheypromisedtoprotectme.My

parentsreceivedaverylargeamountofmoney,andIreceivedtheloveandsupportofawomanwho
becamelikeanewmothertome.”

“You ungrateful little bitch,” I hear my mother say as she storms up to the stage. “Who fed and

clothedyouallthoseyearsyouweresleepingwiththerichkid?”

“Idid,”Caleb’smomsays,comingupbehindher.“ImadesureTeganwasfedandhadclothesthat

fit her, while you only cared about how much you could take from her. I know you stole some of
thoseclothesforyourself.”

“Ineededsomethingnew,too.”
“Thenyoushould’vegoneoutandgotajobinsteadofstealingfromyourdaughter.”
“Youcan’tfaultmeforwantingthelifeyouweregivingher.Sheneverappreciatedthosethings.

Shewasjustusingallofyou.”

“Say one more lie about Tegan, and I will lay you out right here in front of God and this entire

town.Ishould,anyway,justforthefactthatyoutriedtoendthelifeofmygrandson.”

“Sheshouldn’thavespreadherlegs.”
She’sonthegroundinseconds,clutchingherjaw.“I’llsueyou.”
“Forwhat?”Isayintothemicrophone.“Didanyonehereseeanything?”
Not one person speaks up as my mother gets to her feet. She glares at me one more time before

leaving.Ihangmyheadforaminute,andfeelCaleb’shandslipintomineashestandsnexttome.

“I’mnotgoingtoboreyouwithabunchmoredetails,especiallybecausethosefoodtentsallhave

mynameonthem,butIwanttosaythatwithCyndi’shelpandlove,Iwasabletogotoschooland
startajobIlove.Ihaveamazingfriendswhoareheretoday,womenandmenwhoaresoamazing
thatIhavetopinchmyselfsometimestoproveIdidn’tjustdreamthemup.TheyhelpedmeandEthan
throughalltheyearsIwasawayfromhere,andthey’vesupportedmesinceIdecidedtoletthisguy
back into my life. If you take one thing from what I’ve told you today, I hope it’s that you all have
value,andthatthingsaren’talwayswhattheyseem.Sotrynottojudgeotherpeopleuntilyouknow
theirstory.Thankyou.”

Istepbackandtheystartclapping.Everyoneinthestadiumgetstotheirfeetandstartsclappingfor

me.They’reyellingmyname,asIturntoCalebandcryintohischest.Heleadsmeoffthestageand
kissesmeuntilmytearsstop.

“Iwantmyfoodnow,please.”
“Ihopetheybroughtenoughforyou,”hesaysashewalksbackwards.
“Youtryingtosleeponthecouchtonight?”
“Definitelynot.”
“Thenshutupandtakemetothefood,dammit.”
“Yes,ma’am.”

CHAPTER19

Caleb

AfterTeganhastriedsomeofallthedifferentkindsoffood,wegoontheFerriswheelsowecan

kissatthetop,andthentryoutacouplemorerides.We’rewalkingaroundlookingatallthegames
andcharitybooths.Allthemoneythat’scollectedisgoingtoaDownSyndromecharityinhonorof
littleBenGriffin,LukeandOlivia’sson.Hewasbornwiththedisease—whichtheywereawarethat
hemaybe—andisbeingwelcomedintothislarge‘family’ofpeopleinthesamewayI’msuremy
son was. I think he’s an adorable baby, and if anyone says different, I’ll be more than happy to set
themstraight.

There’sadunktankfeaturingZackandMiles.Thelineisamilelong,whichmakesmesmile.I’d

liketotakeashotatMiles,justbecauseIknowTegansleptwithhim.“Itwasonlyonce,”shetellsme
withalaughwhensheseesmeglaringhisway.

“That’sstillonetoomany.”
“Howwasthemonasteryyouwereinwhilewewereapart?”
“You’refunny.Not.Butpointtaken.”
“Isthereanythinginparticularyouwanttodo?”
I’mabouttoanswerno,whenIseethatthekissingboothisabouttoswitchoutguys.Well,actually

IhearthescreamsbeforeIseeit,butI’mimmediatelyheadingthatway.“Yep.IseesomethingIwant
todo.”Thiswillteachhimtomesswithmeagain.

“OhmyGod.Areyouserious?”shesayswhensheseeswhereI’mheading.
“Iam.”
“I’msotakingapictureofthis.”
IwalktothefrontofthelineandseeWayne’seyeswiden.Iturntothecrowd.“Ya’lldon’tmindifI

jumptheline,doyou.I’mgoingtopay$1,000tokissthepopstar.”

“Fuck,”Waynesays.
“No.Justakiss.Puckerup.”
Ihandovermymoneyandleanin.Heshrugs,andmeetsmehalfway.Ourlipsonlytouchforafew

seconds,butIheartheclicksofcellphonecamerasgoingoffaroundme.IsmileasIpullback,and
sodoeshe.

“Wellplayed,man.Verywellplayed,”hesaysaswebothwipeoffourlipswithwetnapkins.
Inod,andthenturntoaddressthecrowd.“Hislipsarereallysoft,ladies.Enjoy.”
IwalkovertoTegan,whoisdoubledoverinlaughter.“ThatwasprobablythebestthingI’veever

seeninmylife.Thatpictureisdefinitelygoingonthemantle.”

“Justaslongasyougotmygoodside.”
“Everysideofyouisgood.”
“Ohyeah?”IaskasIwrapmyarmsaroundher.
“Mm-hm.”
“Wannagomakeoutunderthebleachers?”
“Wearetoooldforthat.”

“Biteyourtongue,woman.Iamstillyoungandvirile.”
“Whatdoesvirilemean?”Ethanasksashewalksuptous,alongwithLandonWilson.
“Stupid.That’swhatitmeans,”ItellhimasIsmackCaleb.
“I’lltellyouwhatitreallymeanslater,E.”
“Couch,Caleb.Couch.”
He leans in so only I can hear. “The dock, honey. I want you on the dock at the creek tonight at

eight.I’mgoingtotaketheboysaroundwhileyouhangwithyourfriends,butI’llseeyoulater.Wear
thatsexybikiniyouboughtandliedownonthedockforme.”

“Okay,”Icroakoutashekissesmycheek.
MyguyswalkawaywithLandon,whileIstartfanningmyfacewithmyhand.IseetheGriffinsand

headovertothemsoIcanholdthebaby.

“Hi,Tegan.Thatwasagreatspeechyougavetoday.I’msoproudofyou.Weallare.”
“Thanks,Maggie.”
“YouwanttoholdBen,don’tyou?”Livasksme.
“Yes,please.”
Shehandshimtome,andIcuddlehimclose.He’ssuchacutie,andweallaretotallyinlovewith

thelittleguy.

“WasIseeingthings,ordidCalebreallykissWayne?”Candiasks.
“Ohno.Hereallykissedhim.I’mprettysureitwastogetbackathimformessingwithhimabout

meallthosetimes.”

“He’sagoodguy,Teeg.Iknowhe’smademistakes,buthaven’tweall?”
“Youdon’tneedtosellmeonhim,Candi.I’mcurrentlyaveryhappilymarriedwoman.”
“You’vegottwogoodguys”Livsays.”Ihavetotellyouthatearliersomekidswereaskingabout

whyBenlooked‘different’andEthantoldthemit’sbecauseGodthoughthewasextraspecial,sohe
wantedhimtostandoutfortheworldtosee.Ialmostburstintotearsonthespot.”

I feel tears pricking my eyes. “God, I love my kid. I want to thank you all again for all the help

you’vegivenus.”

“Itwasourpleasure,”Yasmintellsme.
“Howareyou,bytheway?Ihaven’tseenyousincethehospital.”
“According to Scott, I could die at any moment, so he won’t leave me alone unless one of the

securityguyshe’shiredcomestostaywithmewhilehe’sgone.Otherthanthat,I’mfine.Gettingshot
wasscaryashell,butatleastthebulletmissedallofmyorgans.”

“I’mglad.Andwe’llstealyouawayforoneofourfamousgirls’nightsoon.”
“Excuseme,MissTegan,”saysoneofthehighschoolgirls.She’sstandingwithacouplemoreof

thegirlsfromthegroup.“Wedon’tmeantointerrupt,butwewerehopingyou’ddancewithus.”

“Yeah, we’ll even have the DJ play Taylor Swift. We know you like her,” one of the other girls

says.

“What’s not to like? My life was pretty much chronicled in her 1989 album,” I tell them with a

smile.

“I’lltakeBensoyoucanalldance,”Maggiesays.
Wewalkouttothedancefloorandaremetbymyotherfriends,whorunoverwhentheyseeour

destination.Sureenough,assoonaswegetthere,“ShakeItOff”startstoplay.Wealldancelikeno
one’swatching,andsodoeseveryoneelsewho’sjoinedusoutthere.When“BlankSpace”comeson,
my girls and I each sing our favorite verse to the crowd. It’s several songs later, when “New
Romantics”startstoplay,thatmyfavoritepairofarmswraparoundme.

“IknowIsaidI’dseeyoutonight,butyoulookedsodamnhotoverheredancingthatIcouldn’t

stayaway.”

“Ineveraskedyoutostayaway.”
“Absencemakestheheartgrowfonder.”
“Andyourcockgrowharder,”ItellhimasIgrindagainsthim.Thisreallyisn’tagrindingsong,

butImakeitwork.

“Thattoo.”
“Youshouldgobeforewemakemoreofascenethanwe’realreadydoing.”
“Thatrequiresremovingmyarmsfromaroundyou.”
“Yes,itdoes.”
“I’vegotanothersurpriseforyou,soI’mgoingtohavetoholdontoyouforafewmoreminutes.”
“Whatkindofsurprise?”IaskasIturninhisarms.
“Thiskind,”hesaysasthemusicstops.
Everyone turns to face the DJ. “Sorry to stop the music, but there’s something special about to

happen.CouldeveryoneexceptforCalebandTeganHallmoveoffthedancefloorplease?”

“Cal?”
“Justwaitforit,Teeg.”
“Thank you, everyone. Now as most of you know, Caleb and Tegan never got to go to Prom

together. Many of you also know that when they got married in Vegas, they didn’t have a proper
reception.SorightnowI’mgoingtodeclarethemPromKingandQueenofthisherecelebration,and
givethemafirstdance.”

Heputson“ICrossMyHeart”byGeorgeStrait,andmykneesstarttobuckle.Calebcatchesme

and pulls me close as he starts to move. This was our song, always our song. Cal knows I always
wantedtodancetoitatourwedding.

“I’msorrywedidn’tdothisatourwedding,butIwantedyoutoknowIneverforgotyouandthis

song,Tegan.Ineverdancedwithanyoneelsetothissong.”

TearsarerunningdownmyfaceasIpullhimcloser.“Meeither,Cowboy.Meeither.”
Everyoneelseslowlyjoinsusonthedancefloor.Oncethesongisover,hekissesmesoftly,and

thenletsmego.Iturnbacktotheotherdancers,whoareallsmilingatme.“It’ssoromantic,Miss
Tegan. You and Caleb Hall getting back together after all this time. I’ve been shipping you since I
heardyouwerebackintown.”

“Me,too.You’retotallymyOTP.”
“Cateforlife.”
“Yougaveusaname?That’ssocool.Thanks,girls’”ItellthemandthenturntoStella.“Didyou

hearthat,Ihaveacouplesname,too.”

“Yeah,yeah.”
“WeshipKasttoo,MissStella.You’resocutetogether.”
“Cute?Icanworkwiththat,”shetellsthem.
Ispendtherestoftheafternoonmakingsureeveryone’ssetfortheprogramonceI’mgone,and

justhavingfun.Despitewhathekeepssaying,Calcan’tstayawayfromme.Iseehimrunoverwitha
giantstuffedpanda.

“Iwonthisforyou,honey.”
“Awwthanks,Cowboy,”Isay,givinghimakiss.
“I won this for Ben,” Ethan says, handing Luke a bright orange bear. “I read that bright colors

wouldbegoodforhim.”

“Thanks,buddy.He’llloveit.”
“Comeoverhereandgiveyourmamaahug,baby.”
Hedoeswithouthesitation.“I’msoproudofyou,E.”
“What’stheretobeproudof?IloveBen.He’sperfect.”

“Yes,heis,”Itellhim.“I’mjustgladyouseeit,too.”
“CanIgonow?Iwanttowinyousomething,too.”
“Goon.”
“Seeyouateight,”Calebsays.
“Soyoukeepsaying,”Itellhimwithalaugh.
“Doyounotwantthepanda?”heasks,pretendingthathe’sgoingtotakeitback.
“Touchthepandaandthecouchisguaranteed.”
He smirks at me before running off. I’m laughing as I shake my head, until Ellie comes over,

cryinglikeherworldisending.Aidenisclosebehindher,lookingjustasanguished.

“El,comeon.YouknewIwasleavingagain.IalwayssaidIwasonlycomingfortheday.”
“IlovehowyoucomewhenTeganneedsyou,butwhataboutwhenIneedyou?”
“HowmanytimesdoIhavetotellyouthatI’dalwayscomeifyouneedme.”
“Ineedyoueverydayandnight.”
“I’mnotagoodman.Idon’tknowhowelsetoconvinceyouthatyoudeservesomuchbetter.”
“Iwantyou.Good,bad,whatever.Idon’tcare.”
“Well,Ido.Ihavetogo.”
“Thengo.”
Imeethiseyesandglareathim.She’dgetitifhetoldher,she’daccepthim.Hejustneedstolearn

toaccepthimself.HeshakeshisheadandwalksoffasElliecriesforhim.Again.

***

Caleb

It’sbeentortureallday,knowingwhatIwanttodotoandwithTeganatthedocktonight.Iwalk

towardsit,andcanseeherthere,waitingforme.Wehavelightsforthedock,butthemoonlightis
bright enough tonight to not need them. I take off my trunks and slip into the water from the bank,
swimmingthroughtheclearspringwatertowardsher.

WhenI’mcloseenough,Igrabherfeetandpullhertotheedge.Thewater ’snottoodeephere,and

Icanstandwithherrightatmouthlevel.That’sexactlywhereIwanther,soit’sperfect,whichIwas
prettysureitwouldbe.

“Thisbathingsuitissosexy,butthebottomsneedtocomeoff,”ItellherasImovemyfingersinto

theblackstrapsattheside.

I’djustmovethemiddleaside,butI’mlookingforafeast,notasnack,tonight.Ineedherbaredto

me.ShewigglesherhipsasIpullthemdownandoff.Ilookuptoseethetinytop,whichhaslittle
blackcupsthatcanbarelycontainhertits,andabunchmorestraps.Damn,she’shot.Alwayshasbeen,
andalwayswillbe.

“Flipoverforme.”
ShedoesasIask,andImovehersothatshe’sgotherhandsbracedonthedockasIturnawayfrom

herandplaceherkneesonmyshoulders.She’sbasicallykneelingonmewithherpussyinfrontof
mymouth.Ohyeah.

Itakeonelong,slowlickdownhercenterasshemovesagainstme.Then,Iflickmytongueonto

herclitafewtimes,playingwithher.

“Dammit,Cal.”
Isuckonherclit,andthenmovebacktoblowonit.Shesquirmsagain,andIattack.Iwantedto

prolongthis,butthetasteofheristooeroticformetoignore.I’mlicking,sucking,andbitingheras

Istrokemycockwithonehandbelowthewater.Ican’tnottouchmyself,I’mjusttooturnedonright
now.

“Cal,ohmyGod.I-I…CAL!”shescreamsasshecomeshardinmymouth.
Ipullherdownmybodyandthrustintoher,takingherhardassheholdsontothedockbehindme

soIcanthrustdeep.Iripdownthecupsofherbikiniwithonehandandclosemymouthoverone,
thentheother.I’veonlygotafewmorethrustsinme;Iwanttoholdon,butIjustcan’t.

Icomehard,jerkingandshakingasthefireworksfromthecarnivalstartgoingoff.Secondslater,

she’sclenchingonmystillsemi-hardcockthat’sinsideofher.Shebitesmyshoulderwhereitmeets
myneck,andI’mfullyhardagain.Istartthrustingoncemore.

“Fuck,Teeg.Thishasneverhappened.I’venevergottenhardagainsofast.”
“Luckyme,”shesaysasshedigsherheelsintomyasstopullmecloser.
Iturnusaroundandplaceheronthedeck,climbingupafterher.“Ineedtogetfurtherinsideof

you,”IexplainasIpoundintoher.

There’snootherwordforwhatI’mdoing.It’sanimalistic,andcrazed,butwe’rebothgettingoff

on it. Tegan reaches between us to play with her tits, and she’s so wet that I’m not sure how I’m
stayinginsideofher.Whenshestartsbuckingandcryingout,Ifollowrightbehindher,growlingand
roaringliketheanimalIjustbecame.

OnceIcatchmybreath,Igatherherclose.“You’reokay,right?Ididn’thurtyou?”
“No.Youjustgavemethebestfuckofmylife.”
“Ididn’tmeantoactlikesuchananimal,butyoumakemesocrazy.”
“Again,bestever,Cal.Ilovedit.Stopactinglikeitwaswrong,becauseitwasperfect.DoIwantit

like that every time? No. Well, yes, but I love it when you’re slow with me, too. So just don’t stop
doinganyofit.Iloveitall.”

“Metoo.”
“Gladthat’ssettled.Nowcuddlewithmeuntilwecanwalkagain.”
“Withpleasure.”

CHAPTER20

Tegan

Tomorrow’s the big gala for Caleb, but today he and Ethan said they have something special

plannedforme.I’mtoldtodresscomfortably,soIputonaflowypinktop,jeans,andmypinkboots.
I was worried that I’d have trouble wearing them after I was kidnapped in them, but I know when I
slidethemon,thatI’llbeokay.Theyweremyfirstpairofprettyboots,andCalboughtthemforme
for my sixteenth birthday with money he earned working on the ranch. His parents would’ve given
himthemoney,buthesaidhewantedtoearnthemoneytogivemesomethingspecial.Thatgoodwill
alwaysoutweighanybadIexperiencedwhilewearingthem.

Iheadovertotheranch,andgostraighttothemainbarnlikeIwastoldtodo.Ifindmyguyssitting

onhorses,waitingforme.Ethanhashissafetyhelmeton,andCal’sgotacowboyhaton,aswellas
boots.Ipracticallymeltrightthereonthebarnfloor.Idon’tmindthehipsterlookonCal,butwhen
hegoes“cowboy,”wellmyovariespracticallyexplodeonsight.

“HiMama.Areyoureadyforourpicnic?”
“Picnic?”
“YoumissedyourpicnicwithDad,sowecookedallthefoodagainandmadeyoumorebrownies.

DadsaidIcouldgoalongthistime.”

“Brownies?I’minifyouhavehomemadebrownies,andofcourseyoucangowithus.Where’smy

horse?”

“Iwasthinkingwe’dshare,”Calsaystome.
“Youjustwantmyarmsaroundyou,”Iteasehim.
“Maybe.”
“Gross,”Ethansays.
WelaughasCalholdsouthishandandremoveshisfootfromoneofthestirrupssoIcanclimbup

behindhim.Isqueezehimtight,andleanmyheadonhisback.Hegetsthehorsemoving,andoffwe
gowithEthanrightnexttous.Whenthetrailnarrows,CalmotionsEthanaheadofus.

“You’resogoodwithhim.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
“Thanks.”
Oncethehorsesaretiedtotreesonthebanksofthecreek,IhugEthanandtellhimwhatagood

riderheis.“Youweregreat,E.”

“Iloveridinghorses.CanIhaveoneinLasVegas?”
“I’llbuyhimoneifit’sokay,Teeg.”
“Idon’tknowwhyyou’reactinglikeit’sonlymydecision.Youarehisfather,afterall.Butyes,I’m

totallyfinewithyoubuyinghimahorse.”

“Yay.Thiscreekisreallycool.Didyoureallyspendeverydayafterschoolhere?”
“Fromthetimeweweretentowhenweweresixteen,yes.Wewereherealldayinthesummers,

too.”

“Haveyouseenitsinceyou’vebeenback?”
“Yes.YourdadandIhungouthereafterthecarnival.”
“Whydidn’tyoubringmealong?”
Calebspitsoutthesipofteahejusttook,asIglareathim.“Wejustwantedsomealonetimeinour

specialplace.”

“Youjustwantedtokissonthelips,youmean.”
“Ohyeah,E.Idefinitelykissedyourmom’slips,”Calsayswithalaugh.
Irollmyeyes,butIlaughrightalongwithhim.OncewegetbacktoLasVegas,thingsaren’tgoing

to be so easy for us in regards to sex. Sure, my friends will watch Ethan any time we want, but we
can’tjustsendhimawayallthetime.We’llfigureitout,especiallysincewe’regoingtotrytohave
anotherbabyassoonaspossible.

***

Caleb

Todayismybigday.I’vebeendoinginterviewswithmydadandgrandpaallday.I’mreallyproud

ofmyformula,andIknowtheothersI’mworkingonwillbeevenbetter,butI’dreallyratherjustbe
hangingoutandwatchingmovieswithmywifeandson.Dutycalls,andmymomwouldkillmeifI
missedthisparty,sohereIam,waitingforTegantoarrivesowecanwalkintothegianttentoutside
together.

Ethancomesinfirst,tellingmeI’mgoingtodiewhenIseehismom.Idon’tdoubthim.Mywifeis

alwaysstunning,andIcan’twaittoseewhatshehasplanned.Isendhimoninsidewithmymomwhile
Iwait.

Holyhell,hewasn’tkidding.Thetopofherdressisconservative,withahighneckline,andsleeves

that go just past her elbows. Below her waist, all bets are off. Her dress is super short in front, but
fallspastthefloorintoashorttrainintheback.Thedressiscreamcoloredwithallkindsofbeading
coveringtheentiredress.Thewaythematerialrufflesaroundthebottomofthedressremindsmeof
aflower,oneIwanttopeelbackfromthestems,whichiswhatI’mgoingtocallherlongslegsfora
moment.She’sgotcreamcoloredheelsonandnojewelryotherthanherweddingrings.Herhairis
upinasophisticatedtwist,andthere’sverylittlemakeuponherface.

“Noboots?”
“StellathreatenedmylifeifIworebootswiththisdress.”
“Ibetshedid.”
“Doyoulikeit?”
What?Oh,shit.“Ifuckingloveit.Youlookgorgeous.Ishould’vesaidthatfirst,butseeingyoulike

thiskilledafewofmybraincells.”

“Goodthingyouhavesomanyextrarollingaroundupthere.”
“Idon’tknowaboutthat.”
“Thisisme—youdon’thavetobemodest.I’mcrazyproudofyou.”
“Thatmeansmoretomethananyoneelsesayingit.”
“Don’tyoudaremakemecrytonight.”
“I’lldistractyouwithkissesifIseethathappening.”
“It’shappeningnow.”
Ileaninandkissher.Myarmsgoaroundherasshegripsmybiceps.“Youlookfantastictonight.I

justrealizedIdidn’tsaythat,Cowboy.”

“Stellahelpedme,too.”

Ihaveonablacksuitwithablackshirt,andadarkpinktiethatwebothchosebecauseit’sTegan’s

favorite color. I also have black cowboy boots on. She wouldn’t let me wear a hat, but I refused to
budgeontheboots.IknowhowmuchTeganlikesitwhenIwearthem.

“Weshouldgoinside.”
Iofferhermyarm,“Yes,weshould.”
We enter the ballroom to cheers. I join my dad and grandpa at the front of the room, where we

makeashortspeechbeforejoiningthecrowdonceagain.

EveryonecomplimentsTeganonherdressandcongratulatesusonourrecentwedding.Wesmile,

andmakesmalltalkuntilIhonestlyjustcan’ttakeitanymore.Iprefertobeinmylab,orbetteryet,
ourbed.Thesecrowdsarejustnotmything.

“Let’sgo,”Iwhisperinherear.
“Gowhere?Yourmomwillkillusifwejustdisappear.Sheputatonofworkintothisparty.”
“ShesaidIcouldstealyouawayforalittlebitbeforedinner.Ineedtotakeyoutothebarn,”Isay

withagrin.

“Stella’sgoingtokillmewhenImessupthisdress,butatleastI’lldiehappy.Wehavetohurry,

though.”

“WhenhaveIevermadeyouwaitforanorgasm?”
“Lastnight,whenyouwantedtoplaylikeyou’readominant,”sheremindsme.
“Justwoundmewithyourwords,whydon’tyou?”
“Didn’tIletyouhaveyourway,sir?”
“Yes,Ibelieveyoudid.”
“Thenwhat’stheproblem?”sheasks,withherhandsonherhips.
“Thereisn’tone.Iswear.Icouldn’tbehappier.”
“Meeither.It’slikemydreamshavefinallycometrue.AlltheonesIthoughtwerelost.”
“Theywereneverlost,honey.Justwaitingpatientlyforustobereadyforthemagain.”
“Itoldyounottomakemecry.Areyoureallygoingtokeeptrying?”
“No,that’snottheemotionI’mlookingforfromyou.”
“Thengetmetothedamnbarn.”
Wemakeourwayoutasquicklyaspossible.Ihavetohelpheruptheladderwiththebigdress,but

it’sworthitwhenwegetuptothehayloft.IdecidetojustgoupunderneathherdresswhileIkneelin
frontofher.TheonethingweconvenientlyforgotaboutishowloudshescreamswhenImakeher
comethisway.

Withinsecondsofsaidscream,severalranchhandscomerunningin.“MissTegan,areyouokay?”
“Oh,um,yeah.IjustgotscaredwhenIsawaspider,”shesaysasIbendoverwithmyhandsonmy

knees,laughingmyassoff.ThisisoneofthemanytimeswhenI’mgladthateverythingoldisnew
again.

EPILOGUE

Jade

IneverthoughtI’dbeabletocomebackhere.ThatI’dbeallowedbackhome.YethereIam.When

Igotthecall,IhoppedonthefirstplaneIcouldfind,usingmyreallastnamefortheticket.Iknow
Ainsley will find me, but I needed a little bit of a head start. This is hard enough as it is without
everyoneIknowgettinginvolved.I’mgoingtoneedhelpatsomepoint,butIhavetobealonefor
tonight’s reunion, even if I’m battling emotions that I didn’t even know were there. Pulling into the
parkinglot,Iwasn’tevensureIcouldgetoutoftherentalcar.

I’ve dreamed of coming back here from the time I was forced to leave. I know even though it’s

safer for me now that the man who wanted me dead is gone, I’m still not completely free. There’s
alwayssomeonewhowantstomakeanameforthemselves,andI’mtheperfectpersontohelpthem
do that. They won’t get my help, though. I may be feeling nervous, and even a little scared, but no
one’stakingmedown—orout—withoutafight.

I take a deep breath and walk inside the gym, ignoring the peeling paint from the sign above the

doorthatreads“Garrett’s”.ThatwillbeoneofthefirstthingsItakecareof.Ihaveboththemeans
andthemotiveforwantingtomakethisplacesparkle.Well,asmuchasafightinggymcan sparkle,
yetstillbemanlyenoughfortheguystowanttocomeheretotrain.Itwasonceaboxinggym,but
sinceI’vebeengonethey’veexpandedintoMMA,andeverythingelse.

IlookaroundasIenter,andseealltheadditionalworkthatneedstobedone.Icangetitdone.I

haveto,there’sreallynotanotheroptionafterallofthetroubleIcaused.Abigbearofamanstops
mebeforeIgettoofarinsidethefirstroom.

“Thisisn’taplaceforagirllikeyou.”
Ismileathim.“Thisistheplacethatcreatedme,soIthinkIbelongheremorethananyoneelse.”
“Jade.OhmyGod.Itreallyisyou.”
I turn and run into the arms of the gray haired man who is looking like he’s seen a ghost. “I’m

home,Daddy.Sullivan’sdead,andnow,I’mhome.”

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

DominiqueandGabi,I’mthankingyoufirstagain,asalways!
HelenWilliams,JesseGordon,andAllyMurphy-Thankyouagainforallthehardworkyouputin

forme!

I dedicated this book to the Friends of the Society, and here are the wonderful ladies (and

gentleman) who comprise my group. They listen to my ideas, give me advice, and accuse me of
torturingthemwithsneakpeeksonadailybasis!

AdylenneAscencio,AlexLozada,AqeelahAyoub,CourtneyAxelrod,CyndyDeLeon,ErinTruax,

Heather McCalmont, Helen Williams, Jeanne Baldi, Jenn Valencia, Jessica Hinners, Jill Chatterton,
Laura Deketelaere, Lisa Dess, Liz Tidwell, Lula Andres, Mallory Daybell, Matt Dellisola, Melissa
Shank,MichelleMalone,CelLegaspi-Mesina(akaNickyrian),NikkiBylina-Streets,ChristinaPerron,
ReneeJones,ReneeKennedy,RoseOderon,SabrinaGarrett,SamanthaBoydman,SarahVela,Sierra
Johnson,TamiRhea,TeraChilds,TerriLynnJeavons,TracyWolff,VelvetWehrman,andVickiPlant.

Ifyoulovemybooksandwanttojointhem,sendmeanemailorFBmessagesoIcanaddyou!

ABOUTTHEAUTHOR

CrystalPerkinshasalwaysbeenabigreader,butsheneverthoughtshewouldwriteherownbook,
untilshedid.ShelivesinLasVegas,whereyoucanfindherrunningauthoreventsandsellingbooks
atconventionswhensheisn’treading,buyingtoomanySherlockt-shirtsonlineorfindingaplaceto
putallofherPop!figurines.Amacandcheeseconnoisseur,shetravelsthecountrylookingforthe
perfect version, while attending book conventions and signings as a cover for her research. The
GriffinBrothersseriesandtheCorrigan&Co.seriesareinternationalbestsellers,andshe’sthankful
tothereaderswhomadethosethingshappen!

Findherhere:

www.crystalperkinsauthor.com

facebook.com/crystalperkinsauthor

@wondermomlv

crystal@crystalperkinsauthor.com

Document Outline

About Uncovering His Secret
Other books by Crystal Perkins
Prologue
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Epilogue
Acknowledgements
About the Author

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