Chance byCharlotteCasey
©2017byCharlotteCasey
Allrightsre se rve d.Nopartofthisbookmaybe re produce dortransmitte dinanyformorbyanyme ans,e le ctronicor
me chanical,includingphotocopying,re cording,orbyanyinformationstorage andre trie valsyste mwithoutthe writte n
pe rmissionofthe author,e xce ptwhe re pe rmitte dbylaw.

Thisbookisaworkoffiction.Name s,characte rs,place s,andincide ntse ithe rare productsofthe author’simaginationorare
use dfictitiously.Anyre se mblance toactualpe rsons,livingorde ad,e ve nts,orlocale sise ntire lycoincide ntal.

CoverDesign©L.J.Anderson,MayhemCoverCreations
Editingby:DaretoDreamEditing

Tothemanwhotoldmeto“havepatience.”

…Yousuck.

ButIloveyouanyway.

ChapterOne

“She’shere.”
“Who?”Jasonaskedashemoppedoffhisfacewithatowel.Thekilteddrummersweatmorethan

anyoneelseheknew.Heworkedhardertoo.Greerwasfit,hehadtobeinthisbusiness,buthewasn’t
JasonKeeferfit.Everypractice,soundcheckandshowwasafullworkoutfortheman.

Greerfinishedoffhisbottleofwaterandgrabbedanother.Theyonlyhadanotherminutebefore

havingtogetbackonstage.“Universitygirl.”

“Holyshit!Here.Like,rightnow?”HisbestfriendanddrummerofRustedandRecklesslookedout

thesideofthestage,actuallyexpectingtoseeherinthehordeofthousandsofpeoplewithnoknowledge
ofwhatshelookedlike.Thenagain,neitherdidhe.“Whyisshenotbackstagerightnow?Ineedtomeet
thisgirl.”

Thatwastheproblem,wasn’tit?Greerwasbassistofacountrybandthathadfinallyhititbig.They

weredoubleplatinumcountryartistshalfwaythroughtheirfirstheadliningtouracrossthecountry.His
passionwasallformusicbuthealsolovedtolearn.Hadhenotgottenintomusic,hewouldhavebeenan
academictypecollectingdegreesliketheywerePokémoncards.It’swhyhewasenrolledonlineforan
Englishdegreerightnow.Greerhadthreebachelorsdegreesandtwomastersthathewouldprobably
neveruse.Thatdidn’tbotherhimatall.Itwastheprocessthatheloved.Thestartofanewsemesterwas
likeChristmas.Noneoftheguysunderstooditbuttheydidn’tragonhimaboutiteither.Theyallhadtheir
obsessionsandthiswashis.

HemetAvelineinafewofhisclasses.Lastyeartheyhadenrolledinalmostallthesamecourses.

Herfacejustkeptpoppingupinclasslistsanddiscussions.Havingnoticedthesamething,shehad
emailedhimaskingifhewasstalkingher.Greerwasdoneforrightthenandthere.

TheywerebothfromNorthCarolinabutshewasfromthecoastwhileheconsideredthemountains

hishome.Shewassweetandintelligent,alwaysproofingpapersforhimandyellingathimforhiscomma
misplacements.(Shewasfortheoxfordcommaandhewasagainst.)Theygotintoargumentsthatcould
lastdaysoverpunctuation.Greercalledherallthetime,hervoicewaslikecandy,allsweetandinnocent.
Heenjoyedthehelloutofit,especiallywhenshelaughed.Avelinewasaknowngigglerandhefelttheir
conversationwasnotoveruntilhehearditatleastonce.

He’dbeencrushingonthisgirlformonthsbuthadnevertoldherthetruthabouthim.Henevertold

anyoneinhisclasseswhohewasandwhathereallydid.Hewastheretolearn,nottogetspecial
treatmentandfangirledon.It’swhyhetookonlineclassesandnotclassesattheuniversitycampus.Well,
thatandhistourschedule.

GreerhadtalkedtoAvelinethatafternoonandwhenshesaidshewasgoingtotheRustedand

Recklessconcert,hestammered.Ithadbeenhischancetotellher,hischancetomeetherandhe
chickenedout.Greertoldhertoenjoyherselfandhunguplikethepussyhewas.

“Ididn’ttellher.”
Jasonrolledhiseyes.“Ofcourseyoudidn’t,buddy.”Jason,RoryandNixwerethemanslutsofthe

group.TheyenjoyedthegroupiesthathungaroundwhileGreerwashissociallyawkwardself.Helostall
lustforawomanwhenshecouldbarelyevenconversewithouttryingtotouchhim.Brainswerewhat
attractedGreer,brainsandwit.Sawyer,theirguitaristandstandinsinger,wasn’tintogroupieslikethe
otherseither.Hewasaromanticandwouldfalltoohardandfastforawoman.Helearnedthehardway
thattheirgroupieswouldsayanythingtogetintobedwithhimandthathecouldn’tbelieveawordofit.

Theirbreakover,GreerandJasonsteppedbackontothestage,thelightslikehundredsofsmallsuns

blaringdownonthem.Helovedit,lovedthecrowdsinginganddancingalongwiththem.Lovedthe
oppressiveheatfromthelightsandthethumpingoftheamps.Helovedhiscallusedfingersandaching

feet.Greertrulylovedhislife.Heworkedhardforthatspotonthestage.Theyallhad.

Sawyersteppeduptothemicandadjustedhisguitar.HelookedoverhisshoulderfirstatGreerand

thenbacktoJason.Roryclappedhimonthebackashewalkedpassedtohiscornerofthestageacross
fromGreer.Theywereadjustingtothisnewdynamicbetweenthem.Threemonthsbeforetheirsingerand
Sawyer’sbrother,Phoenix,haddisappeared.Hewasaheroinaddictandasmuchastheywantedto
believehewasinrehabsomewhere,oddswerehewasshootingupinadingyhotelroominanameless
city.Nix’sdisappearancehadrockedthemallbutnonemorethatSawyer.Theywantedtocancelthetour
buttheircontractwouldn’tallowthat.Soheretheywere,makingdue.

Sawyerhadsteppeduptosingbuthewouldn’tgiveuptheguitar.Theycalledinfavorsfromother

bands,borrowedplayersfromtheopeningbandwhenneeded,butitwasjustatemporaryfix.Soonthey
weregoingtohavetomakesometoughdecisions.Thingsthathereallydidn’tneedtobethinkingabout
rightnow.

“Ya’llgotyourrefills?”Sawyeraskedthecrowd.Thestadiumerupted.Greercouldn’thelpkeep

thesmileoffhisface.Countryfanswerethebest.Theyknewhowtodrink,havefunanddancetheir
heartsout.

“Now,Ithinkit’stimefor-“
“AnyofyouEnglishmajorsoutthere?”Jasoninterruptedfrombehindhisdrumkit.
Fuck.No.
BothGreerandSawyerlookedbackatthedrumkitwhereJasonwaslazilyspinningadrumstick

betweenhisfingers.HehadadevioussmilethatGreerknewwell,toowell.Thatsmilehadgottenhimin
somuchtroubleovertheyears.

“AnyonlineEnglishmajorsfromPennStateUniversity?”

*****

Avelinefluffedherlimphair.Ithadrainedwhiletheywerewaitinginthequeuetoentertheconcert.

Rob,hercousinandgaymanextraordinaire,boughttheticketsforherbirthdayandshewasdeterminedto
haveagoodtime,evenifshelookedlikeanairdried,drownedrat.Thiswasherfirstnightoutinalmost
ninemonths.Ifshewasn’tworkingoneofhertwojobs,Avelinewastakingcareofhermotheror
studying.She’dsacrificedhersociallifeforreallife.Itwasn’tlikeshehadachoiceinthematter.Her
mother’shealthwasprioritynumberone,afterthecarcrashtwoyearspriorleftherbraindamaged.
Avelinealsohadtoearnanincometopayforthemedicalbillsthatincurredaneverendingstreamof
threatsfromcollectionagencies.Tonightwasprobablytheonlynightthatshewouldbefreetobea
twenty-four-yearold.

Avelinetriedtosalvagewhatshecouldofhermakeupinthecrowdedbathroommirror.She

smudgedherfingerunderhereyescatchingsomeoftheeyelinerandmascarathathadrunintherain.
Therewasnotmuchhelpingtherestofher.Thenagain,everyonelookedlikehellbutnooneelseseemed
tocare.

SheleftthebathroomandRobimmediatelygrabbedhearmandstartedpullinghertheopposite

directionoftheirseats.

“Theyarelookingforyou!”
“Who?”sheaskedasshestumbledbehindhim.Hewasatalllankymanofthirtyandherbestfriend.

Robhelpedtakecareofhermotheralongsidethenursethatcamedaily.Itwasn’taneasyroadshe
traveledbutshehadcompanyandthatmadeitmanageable.Robwasahugecountrymusicfanandhad
gottenherintoitafewyearsago.Avelineenjoyedtheeasygoingmelodiesandlyricsthatspoketoher.
HehadintroducedhertothegenreviaRustedandReckless.Theycrossedthelinebetweencountryand
rockanditwashardtodistinguishwhatgenretheywere.Theywerehergatewaybandintotheworldof
countryandheldaspecialplaceinherheart.

“Theband!”heyelledinalaugh.
“What?”Hewasn’tmakinganysense.Shetriedtopullherarmfreebuthisgripwasstrong.He

steeredhertowardsasecurityguard.“Rob,whatdoyoumeanthebandislookingforme?Rob?”

She’sneverseenagrinsobigonhisface.“TheyaskedifanyonewenttoPennStateandwasan

Englishmajor.That’syousweetie.”

“Meandatonofotherpeople.”
“Comeon.”
Robtuggedherforwardagainandrightintothesecurityguard’spersonalspacebubble.“Thisisthe

girl,”hesaidconfidently.“Thisistheonethebandislookingfor.”

Theguarddidn’tevengivethemaglance.“Movealong.”
Hewasbeginningtoworryher.Avelinewasn’tsurewhathadgottenintohercousin.“Let’sjustgo.

Areyoufeelingok?Maybeweshouldjustleave.”

Theywerecloseenoughtothestageatthispointthatshecouldhearthebandtalking.Thesecondset

wasabouttostart.Iftheywantedtomakeitbacktotheirseatstheyneededtoleave.

“Jason!Knockitoffandlet’sgetbacktogivingthesepeoplethemusictheycametohear.”The

crowdlaughedatthebassist’sobviousdiscomfortbutthatwasn’twhatstoppedher.Avelineturned
towardthestageandgaped.Sheknewthatvoice,hadtalkedtoitjustafewhoursearlier.

“Greer?”
Robjostledher.“See!Sheisthegirl!”
Securitylookedatherlongandhardandthenpulledouthisphone.Amomentlaterheasked,“Are

youAvelineMichaels?”

“Yes,”sheanswereddumbfoundedasRobjumpedaroundlikeafouryearoldgoingtoDisney

World.Howthehelldidheknowhername?“What’sgoingon?”

“Thisway.”Hewavedthemthroughthebarrierandtookthembackstage.Itwasaflurryofactivity

backthereandnoonelookedtwiceatthem.Avelinejustkeptmovingforward.This,whateverthiswas,
movedmuchtooquicklyforherbraintoprocess.

“Whatisgoingon?”sheaskedRobagainwhowaspushingherfaster,withahandonherlower

back.

“Itoldyou.Thebandislookingforyou.Letmeseeyou.”Hepulledhertoastopandturnedher.

Afteraquickonceoverhegavehertheokay.“Youlooksexyhot.Lessnerdandmoresexpanther.He’d
goingtodroolalloveryou.”

Doubtful.Verydoubtful.
Avelinehadjustseenherreflectionandsexyhotwasnowheretobeseeninthatmirror.Robturned

heragainandtheycontinuedtheirpaththroughthemazeofthestadium.

“Greer,I’vegotsomegoodnewsforyou,”Sawyersaidonstage.
“Ohfuck,”thefamiliarvoicegroanedandthecrowdlaughed.
Sawyercameintoviewfirst,hehadhisarmdrapedovertopofGreer’sshoulders.“She’sonher

wayuptothestage.Youlookabitnervous.”

“I’mgoingtokillyouboth.”
SawyerlaughedandslappedthebrimofGreer’shatdown.HecaughtAvelineandRobstandingon

thewings.Thesecurityguardhadleftthematsomepointtoreturntohispost.Robwasvibratingbeside
her.Hewasahugefanofthebandandsheknewhewasbeyondexcitedtobethisclosetothem.

“Theresheis!”Sawyeryelledexcitedlyandranovertoher.
Rob,beingthehelpfulcousinhewas,pushedherforwardontothestage,butSawyerwasthereto

steadyher.“Aveline,howareyoudarlin’?”Heputhisarmoverhershoulderslikehehaddonewith
Greer.ShetriedtolookoverathimbutSawyerangledherawayandtowardtheaudience.

“I’mgood.”Shetriednottolookatthepeople.Avelineknewhowbigthestadiumwasbecausejust

aminuteearliershehadbeenoneofthem.

“Justgood?”
Shedecidedtolookatthemantalkingtoher,whichwasalmostworse.Sawyerwaseverygirl’s

countrydream.Softt-shirt,wornjeansthatactuallyhaddirtonthem,bootsthatwerewellbrokenin.
Sawyer’ssoftblondehairwasnononsenseandhungwhereitdried.Hehidhiseyesbehindapairofdark
aviatorglassesbuthissmilewasdevastatingenoughthatshedidn’tneedtoaddhiseyestothemix.
Sawyerwasalreadythesexiestmanshehadevertouched.

“Um...yeah.I’llbebetteronceIknowwhat’sgoingon.”
“DoyougotoPennStateUniversity?”
Easyquestion,easyanswer.“Yes.”
“AndareyouanEnglishmajor?”
“Yes.Well,literatureactually.”
SawyerturnedhisheadawayfromhertowhereGreerwasstanding.“Isthisher?”
“Soundslikeher.”Asannoyedashehadsoundedearlier,therewasasmileinhisvoicenow.

AvelinestoodonhertiptoestolookoverSawyer’sshoulderandsawGreerforthefirsttimeupclose.
Therewasnowaythatwastheliteraturemajorwhosheaccusedofstalkingher.Bothhisarmswere
coveredintattoos,monochromaticdesignswovelikeivydownhisarms.Hisfieryorangebasshungoff
hisshoulderandshecouldn’thelpbutthinkaboutthebodyhewashidingbehindit.LikeSawyer,Greer
woreat-shirtbutnocowboybootsforhim.Hehadonsandalsandlookedlikehejustwokeup,putona
well-wornfavoritebaseballhatandwalkedonstage.SheknewGreertobetwenty-sevenbuthehada
facethatwouldgethimcardedattheliquorstoresforatleastanothertenyears.

“Holyshit,”Avelinecursedsoftly.Thecrowdbegantolaughbutshedidn’thearthem.Allshecould

dowaslookatGreer.Wasthisreallyhercrush?Themanwhoentertainedhertonoend?

“Wearegoingtocontinueonwiththeshowsowhydon’tyouandyour…”Sawyerlookedtothe

wingwhereRobwasallbutdroolingwithjealousy.“Uhoh…someonehasaboyfriend.”Thelow
moaning“Ohhhhhh”camefromthecrowd.

Avelineswallowedandshookherhead.ShelookedbetweenSawyerandGreertryingtoexplain.

“No…he’snot…”butthemicwasn’tonher.NoonecouldhearthatRobwashercousin,herverygay
cousin.SawyerwalkedheroffstagebutAvelinekepttryingtolookatGreerandexplain.Hewouldn’t
lookather.Wouldn’tevenglanceinherdirection.

“Sawyer…it’snot…we’renot…”Shegrabbedhishandbeforehecouldleave.
“It’salrightdarlin’,”hesaidinhisslowdrawthatcalmedherimmediately.“Stayhere.We’llhang

aftertheshow.”Avelinenoddedanddroppedthehandshehadonhisarm.

“Sorry.”
“Justhanghere.Noplacebettertowatchaconcertthanbackstage.”
“Sawwwyeeer!”Rory’ssingsongvoicesoundedfromthestage.
Heleftandflickedofftheguitaristashewalkedbackonstage.“Wereadytogetthispartybackon

track?”

AvelineandRobdidhavethebestseatinthehouse.Itwasatrulyamazingexperience.Theblinding

lights,theheartpumpingsoundandtheincredibleviewwassomethingshewouldneverforget.
Unfortunately,shedidn’tenjoyonemomentofit.AllshecoulddowaswatchGreeravoidherfromthe
othersideofthestageandplay.

Herheartthuddedwhenthefinalnoteswereplayedandthegoodbyesweremade.Avelineranher

fingersthroughherknottyheadofhair.FirsttimemeetingGreerandshelookedlikeshejustwokeupwith
abadcaseofbedhead.Figures.Evenherclotheswerestillwetfromtheearlierrain.Sexyhot,Robhad
calledher.Right,becausethesquishingofwaterinhersoakedbootsandtheblisteronherheelthatmade
herlimpwassooohot.Thecircumstancescouldnotbeworse.

Ohwait,healsothoughtthatRobwasherboyfriend.
Soyeah,itcouldbeworse.
Itwasworse.
AvelinehadbeeninmoreclassesthanshecouldcountwithGreer.Itwasontheirsecondsemester

togetherthatshehademailedhim.Ithadstartedoutasafriendly“Hello,Ireallyadmiredyourshort
story,”butturnedinto“Areyoustalkingme?”Shehadnoideawhysheaskedthatbuthehadfoundit
funny.Theyhadhititoff.Sheknewshecouldalwaysaskhimforcreativeadvice,sincehewasfullofit
andhecouldalwayscometoherfortechnicalhelp.HejokedthatAvelinewasanhonorarymemberofthe
GrammarPolice.LastChristmas,Greerhadgottenherabadgeandeverything.

NeveronceinhertimetalkingtoGreerhadheletonthathewasanythingmorethanaguyfrom

Canton,NorthCarolina.Hemighthavementionedplayingsomeinstrumentatsomepointbutvery
casually.Thiswassonotcasual.Thiswasmega.

TheguysofRustedandRecklessweresmilingastheywalkedoffstage.Ithadbeenagoodshow,a

greatshow.EvenwithoutNix,thesinger,ithadbeenamazing.Greerlookedupandsawherstillwaiting
inthespotwhereSawyerhadlefther.Sheliftedherhandandgaveahesitantwavelikeacompleteidiot.

Whythehellwasshewaving?
Jesus.
Whywasshestillwaving?
Robseemedtosenseherdistressandpushedherhanddown.GreerlookedtowhereRob’shand

laidonherskinandscowled.Shit.Shewasmessingthisallup.

JasonsteppedaroundGreerwhohadslowedhispaceandcameovertothem.“Hello,University

Girl,”hestatedwithasmile.“MayIescortyoutwotothegreenroom?”

AvelinelookedaroundhissweatybroadshoulderstowhereGreerhadjustbeenbuthewasgone.

Avelinesighed.Thisreallywasn’thowshehadplannedtheirfirstmeetandgreet.Jasonmovedinher
wayagainsoallshesawwerethelinesofhisverydefinedchest.Slowly,becauseshewantedto
rememberthismanashewasbeforehernowforthosenightsheneededalittleimagination,sheliftedher
eyesupfromhiskilttohisabs,tohispecks,tothesweatbeadingonhisshouldersandneck,andfinally
uptoafacethatknewandenjoyedthevisuallickshehadjustgivenhisbody.

“Sure.”Sheclearedherthroat.“I’mAveline,bytheway,andthisisRob,mycousin.”
Jason’sgrinspreadwideacrosshisface.“Cousin.Thatisgoodtoknow.Verygood.Nicetomeet

bothofyou.”

WithahandonherlowerbackhesteeredthemthroughthemazebackstagetoaroommarkedRusted

andReckless.“Whydon’tyouguysheadinthereandmakeyourselvescomfortable.I’mgoingtoshower
andthenI’llbebacktoentertainandamaze.Theotherguysshouldbearoundinafewminutes.”

“Ok,”Avelinesaidwithnervesjittering.She’dfinallymeetGreer.Howoftenhadshedreamtofthis

moment?Howmanytimeshadshebeentalkingtohimandcouldpicturejusthowthismeetingwouldgo?
Jasonswungopenthedoorandusheredtheminside.

Itwaslikenoafterpartysheeverexpected,mainlybecausetherewasnoonetheresaveafewradio

peoplemillingabout.Weren’tthesethingssupposedtobeallsex,drugsandalcohol?Roblookedjustas
bewilderedbesideher.Herlastbirthdaypartyhadmoreentertainmentthanthis,andshehadspentitalone
withatuboficecreamandanewsubscriptiontoNetflix.

“SoGreerMcQueenisactuallyyourGreerfromschool?”Robaskedputtinghisbacktothesmall

groupofpeople.

Avelinenodded.“Iguessso.”
“Damn.”
“Thataboutsumsitup.”

ChapterTwo

“Dude,she’ssingle,”Jasonannouncedwhenhewalkedintotheshowers.Greerhadalreadytakena

quickshowertowashofftheconcert.SawyerwasinoneoftheotherstallsandRoryhadn’tshownupyet.
Greerrifledthroughhisbagtofindafreshchangeofclothes.

“See,that’swhatItoldyou,”Sawyersaidrinsingthesudsfromhishair.“Nowayinhelltheyare

dating.YoushouldhaveheardherwhenItookheroffstage.Shewasreallyworriedthatyouhadgotten
thewrongimpression.”

“Yeah,andwhosefaultwasthat?”Greeraskedasheslippedintohisjeans.
“Sheintroducedhimhashercousin,”Jasonsuppliedfromhisshower.“Itookthemtothegreen

roomtowaitforyou.You’rewelcome.”

Greergotdressedandthenwaitedfortherestofhisbandmates.Hetoldhimselfthathewasn’t

beingalittlechickenshitforhangingaroundbuthetotallywas.Hehadfuckedthisallup.Ifhewould
havejusttoldherfromthestartaboutthebandtheywouldn’tbeinthisposition.Hewouldn’thavemade
anassoutofhimselfonstageinfrontofallthosepeople.

Theentiresecondhalfoftheshowhadbeenabattleofwills.Notlookingatherwhenhecouldfeel

theheatofherstarehadbeenagonizing.Avelinewassomuchmorethanheexpected.Shewascuterthan
anyofherpictureseverledon.Adorablewasallhecouldthinkofwhenshefirststeppedonstage.
Frightened,confusedandutterlyadorable.

Heowedheralot,anexplanationtobeginwithbutalsoanapologyfornotonlyhisreactiontoday,

butalsofornevertellingherthetruth.Andoncehefoundhisballs,he’dgetrightonthat.

“Youaresoemotionallystunted,”Jasonsaidashegotoutoftheshower.“Likedidyourfirst

girlfrienddropyouonyourdickorsomething?Whyareyounotouttherekissinguponthatcutieout
there?Imean,”hecouldhearthesmileinJason’svoice,“shehasthislibrarianthinggoingonthatIam
totallydownwith.”

God,shedid.Greerknewexactlywhathewastalkingaboutfromallthepictureshehadseenofher

andnowinperson.Sure,shehadglassesbutthatwasn’tit.Avelinehadthisinnocenceandintelligence
abouther.Justoneglacetoldyoushewasacompletesweetheartandcouldkickyourassattrivial
pursuit,allwhilerecitingPrideandPrejudicebyheart.

“Ishouldprobablygotalktoher.”
Sawyerrolledhiseyes.Hehaddriedoff,changedandnowwaitedbesidehim.“Yeah,dipshit,you

probablyshould.”

Hetookhisownadviceandlefttheirdressingroom.Theusualgaggleoffansmillingaboutwas

notablyabsent.Forthepastfewweeks,theyhadkepteveryoneawayaftertheshows.Theonlypeople
allowedbackstagewerethosealreadypromisedaspotbeforeNixhadupandleft.Thosepeoplewere
probablysadlydisappointedintheband’shostingskillstoo.Sawyerbannedalldrugs,notthattherewere
manysaveforwhatNixused,buthewasn’thavinganyofitanymore.Alcoholwasinlimitedsupply
thesedaysandthatfactwasunfortunateforGreerbecausehecouldusealittleliquidconfidencetonight.

HefoundthemsittingononeofthecouchestalkingtoRory.Thelady’sman,asweettalkingViking

whowasprobablythelastofhisbandmatesthathewantedtalkingtoher.Evenifitwasn’tforthefactthat
helookedlikeThor,pantiesdroppedaroundhimbecausehewasaguitarist.Itwasn’tthatGreerdidn’t
trusttheman,hedid,butthiswasAvelinetheyweretalkingabout.

Theirleadguitaristglancedoverathimandnoddedhisheadinaninvitationtojointhem.Greer

couldseeitnowthathewaslooking;therewasasimilaritybetweenAvelineandhercousin’sfeatures
andacompletelackofsexualattraction.Avelineliftedherheadandlookedstraightathim,hersmile
stoppedhimdead.God,shehadfuckingbeautifuleyes.Theyweresotrustingandopenandintheirblue

depths,heldanintelligencethatmadehimhard.

“IshouldgocleanupbeforeIpollutetheroomwithmystench.SeeyaroundAveline,Rob.”Rory

stoodasGreercameover.“Haveatitbuddy,”hemurmured.

Hereyeswerewide,focusedonhimashestoodbeforeher.“Hey,”hesaid.“Canwe?”Greer

noddedtothedoorhehadjustcomein.TheradioandVIPwinnerswereallwatchinghim.Heshould
havebeenoverthereplayingentertainerandhewouldrightafterhefixedthis.

Maybe.
HemightjustsneakawayandletSawyer,RoryandJasonplaynicewiththeirfans.
Avelinestoodandfollowedhimoutoftheroom.Whentheyreachedthehallwayandthedoor

closed,shelaunchedherselfintohisarms.Ittookhimasecondtoreact,hisarmshangingawkwardlyfor
amomentbeforegatheringherinclose.Shewasasurprisinghandful.Onehereallyenjoyedhaving.

“Sorry,”shesaidwhenshedroppedherarms.“ButIdidwarnyouthatthefirsttimewemetIwas

goingtohugyou.”

Helaughed.“Thatyoudid.”God,howwasshenotmadathim?He’dmetwomenwhowouldskin

himaliveforignoringthemwhileonstage.

“So,you’reinaband,”shesaidwithlaughterinhereyes.
Greershovedhishandsinhispockets.“Iam.Ishouldhavetoldyou…”
“No,youwereprotectingyourself,”shesaid,interruptinghim.“Igetit.Youdidn’tknowifIwas

somecrazyfangirl,whichItotallyambytheway.”Sheblushed,thepinkstaininghercheeks.“Butyou
couldhavetoldmeinsomeotherway.Pullingmeuponstagewasabitmuch.”

“Notmyidea,”hesaiddefensively.Hewouldhaveratherdoneamorelowkeymeetingwherehe

couldhavehadheralltohimself.SharingAvelineheldnoappealtoGreer.

“Yeah,Igatheredthat.”Whenshesmiled,herlipsstayedtogetherandhereyesbrightened.Asmall

creaseappearedinherleftcheek.Greercursedthedimpleanditsinabilitytolethimspeak.Allhecould
focusonwaskissingit.

“Sodoyouwantto?”Avelineasked.
“Yes.”Hehadn’theardherbutwhatevershewantedhewouldgiveheraslongasshesmiledwith

thatdimpleagain.

Sheopenedthedoorandwalkedbackintotheroomwiththepeoplewhowouldalsowanttotalkto

her.Threedistinctandwellknownlaughssoundedbehindhimbeforehecouldfollow.

“Ohman,thisisgoingtobeevenbetterthanwhenSawyerthoughtthegroupiewantedmorethana

onenightfuck,”Rorysaidwithasnort.

JasonruffledhishairbeforeGreercouldduck.“Youhaveabitofdroolonyourchinthere.”He

wipedahandoverGreer’schin.“There,IthinkIgotitall.Mighttryabibnexttime.”

Thetwowalkedpasthimintotheroom.“Whowantsme?”Roryaskedwhenheentered.Usually,a

pitchofscreaminggirlswouldsquealandruballoverhim,fawningovertheguitarist.Butnowitwasjust
somelowkeyfaninteractionsandinterviews.

“Don’tletthemgettoyou.”Sawyersaidfrombesidehim.“Theyaren’treadytoseewhatagiftitis

tolovesomeoneotherthantheirdicks.Avelineseemsgenuine.That’srareinthisindustry.”Theyboth
watchedfromthedoorwayasJason,animatedasever,toldAvelineandRobastory,probablyabout
Greer.Whenallthreeofthemlookedover,hesighed.Definitelyabouthim.

“Don’trushit,Greer.SheknewuniversityGreernotcountrystarGreer.”
Helikedtothinkthattheywereoneinthesamebutthatwouldbealie.Sawyerwasright.Sheonly

knewhalfofhim.Hefoundhereyesstillonhim.Shesmiledandthatdamndimpleappearedagain.

“Thanksman.”
“Noproblem.NowifIwasyou,I’dgetmyassoverthereandpunchJasonforcorruptingherview

ofyouwithtalesofTexas.”

Greerblanched.“Hewouldn’t?”
ButJasonputhishandstohishead;indexfingerspointedupandkickedhisfootlikeabull.
“Dude,hejustdid.”
Aveline’slaughtertookupthewholeroomasshegrabbedherstomachinafitofamusement.Jason

lookedoverandgavehimanexaggeratedtwothumbsupwhichcausedhertoloseitagain.Greerheaded
overunsureofwhetherhewasgoingtohavetokillhisbestfriendorbuyhimabeerlater.

*****

Greerstoodtwenty-sevenfeetawayfromAveline.JasonandRoryweregivinghertipsonthebest

waytothrowaCornholebag.Forawhiletheyhadafewmoreplayersintheirlittlecompetition.Afewof
theroadieshadjoinedthemearlyon,butonebyonetheyhaddroppedouttocrashforthenight.

Whentheybeganthegame,GreerhadpartneredupwithAveline,forobviousreasons.Hewasn’t

surewhathewasthinkingbecausewhenyoupartnerwithsomeoneyouhavetostandoppositeofthem,
notbesidehim.SofarGreerhadspentmoretimewithRobthanwithAveline.Notthathewas
complaining,theguywascoolandallbutnothisidealpartnerinconversation.

“IfeellikeIknowyousowellalready,withhowmuchshetalksaboutyou.Avelinedoesn’thave

manyfriends,theonesshehadlostcontactaftershebecamehermother’sprimarycaregiver.”

Greertossedabagandcaughtit,lettingthekernelsofcornsettleinhishandandthenswungand

pitchedthebagtowardtheboard.Ithitthesweetspotandslidrightin.“Yeah,Iknow.Shetoldmeonce
thatallherfriendsareonline.It’seasiertostayincontactviaemailthanmeetingforcoffee.Therearea
smallgroupofusthatlookoutforeachother.We’reallinthesamemajorandstartedaroundthesame
time.”

“Theyknowwhoyoureallyare?”Robaskedafterthrowinghisturn.
Hesmirked.Itwasboundtocomeup.Mightaswellbenow.“No,Itrynottotellpeopleaboutthis

partofmylife.Atonetime,IdidbutI’deithergettheprofessorwholovedmymusicandgaveme
hundredsoneverythingjustbecauseIwasme.OrIgotthedickwhothoughtIwassomeprivilegedrich
kidjustthereforajoke.Theynevertookmeseriously.Oncethestudentsfoundout,myemailaccountwas
alwaysburstingwithbullshit.”

“Whydoyougotoschool?Areyouplanningondoingsomethingelsewithyourlife?”
Greertossedhislastbag.ItsliderightofftheboardandontoAveline’sfoot.Shelookedupathim

andsmiled.Damn,hewishedhewasonthatsideoftheboard.

“Ilikeschool.”Heshrugged.“Weird,IknowbutIcouldhaveworsehobbies.”
Roblookedathimlikehewasinsane.“Nooneactuallylikesschool.”
“IdoandIbelievethatisgame.AvelineandIkickedass…again.”
Jasonwaswalkingover.HeandSawyerwereupnext.Roblefthissideandwanderedoverto

Aveline.Hopefully,hehadpassedthecousintest.Jason’sgrinwasgiant.Thedrummerstillhadhiskilt
on,probablyforAveline’sbenefit...thatasshole.Atleastheputashirton.

“Youfuckedupbigtime,”Jasoninformedhimwithagiantsmile.“Itwascuteyoupartneringup

withLittleLadyAvelinebutnowshe’swonderingifyou’repissedshe’shangingwithus.”

“Fuck.”
“Yep.Youhaven’tsaidmuchtohersincewecameouthere.Calmdownthere,Romeo.Igetit.It’s

thenatureofthegame.ButwhatIdon’tseeiswhyyouarestillwinning?”Jasonlookedathimlikehe
wasthebiggestdumbassontheplanet.Whichhewas.

“Fuuuuck.”Greerrubbedthebackofhisneck.Whatthehellwaswrongwithhim?Iftheylosethen

theygettohangout.

Jasonpattedhimontheback.“It’sok,Iremembermyfirstcrush.”
“SuzyParker?Secondgrade?”

Henodded,grinning.“SuzyParker,secondgrade.Shestolemyheart,soIstoleherBarbie.”
“Andthencutoffallitshair,drewonitsfaceinmarkerandletyourdogchewonitforafewdays.”
Jasonpickeduphisfirstbag,foldingitinhalf.“All’sfairinloveandwar.Ionlydidtothatdoll

whatshedidtomyheart.”

“Dude,soshemarriedsomeoneelseatrecess,sowhat?Ithinkit’stimeyougotoverit.”
“Sowhat?”heaskedinmockoutrage.Jasontossedhisbag.“Shepromisedtomarrymethatday,but

IhadtostaybehindandexplaintoMs.MorellihowaplateofmacandcheeseendeduponCameron
Yost’shead.SowhenIfinallygotoutsidetomarrymybride,withtheringpopIconvincedmymomto
buyme,whatdoIsee?”

Greergrinned.“MewithSuzyParkertyingtheknotbytheswings—”
“YOUANDSUZYPARKER,”Jasonsaidtalkingoverhim.Attheriseinhisvoiceeveryonelooked

theirwaybutatthesoundofSuzyParker,hisbandmatesrolledtheireyes.Theyhadheardthisstorytoo
manytimestocount.

“…exchangingvows.Shewasmineandyoustoleher.Itwastruelove.”
“ItwaseithermeorBenJumper.Ifiguredyouwouldfeelbetteraboutitifitwereme.”
“FuckingBenJumper,”Jasonmurmuredsendinghislastbagflying.Greerhadtossedlikeithad

beenhisfirsttime.Onlyonebaglandedontheboard.IfAvelineplayedasbadasshehadbeenallnight,
thenthegamewouldbeoverinminutes.

*****

Thereportershadlongsinceleftandthepartymovedfromthestadiumtothetourbus.Rob,Sawyer,

JasonandRorywereoutsideenjoyingthefinalroundthecornholecompetition.GreerhadstolenAveline
awaywithahandonherlowerbackandawarmwhisperinherearaftertheylosttoJasonandSawyer.

Greerwasdifferentthansheimagined.Unfortunately,shewasn’tsurewhichGreershemeant.

Celebritieswereoftenseenasthesemajesticandmythicalcreaturesbuthewasjustanormalguy.The
sameguyshehadtalkedtodaily.Inperson,though,hewasmuchquieterandalwayslookedlikehewas
holdinghisbreath.

Itwasweirdtoseethetwosidesofhimcombineintoone.SheknewGreer.Theywerebestfriends.

Therehadbeenabouttwentyminutesofawkwardnessbetweenthembeforethingssettleddown.Ittook
himcommentingabouttheawkwardinteractionforthemtolaughaboutit.Nowitwasasiftheywereon
thephonetalkinglateintothehours,butinperson.Sheknewhisvoiceandthenuancesitheld.Whatshe
didn’tknowwerehislooks.

Wasthatsmilebecausehefoundwhatshesaidamusingorbecausehethoughtshewasannoyingand

wasjusttryingtolookinterested?

Washissilencebecausehefoundtheconversationboringorbecausehewasnervousaroundher?
Washestaringatherbecausehefoundherprettyorbecausehermakeupwasrunning?
“IsCarolinewithyourmommatonight?”Greeraskedashesatdownbesideheronthesmallcouch.
“Yeah,she’sstayingthenightandIhaveJanicecomingintomorrowwhileI’matwork.”
“That’salotofjugglingjusttocomeseeus.”Hestretchedhisarmsoutonthebackofthecouch.He

didn’ttouchherbutbythekickinherchest,shewasacutelyawareofhowclosehewas.

“Well,Ididn’tknowI’dbemeetingyoutonight.IthoughtIwasjustgoingtoenjoysomemusic.”
Theeasysmileheworemostofthenightfalteredforasecond.Greerleanedbackasifshehadjust

toldhimhispuppywasugly.Heputtheexpressionbackupalmostinstantlybuttherewasastraintoitthat
wasn’ttherebefore.

Hiseyesnolongerwantedtomeethers.“R&Rmeorschoolme?”
Avelinewastaughttofindthesubtextwithinwords,typicallythatappliedtoliteratureandpoetry

butitwasallthesameinthiscase.Greer’ssimplequestionhadastrongconnotationtoit.Allthethings

hehadn’tbeensayingtonightwerewovenwithinthosefewwords.Shewantedtoeasehimofhisfears,
whatevertheywere,butbeyondtellinghimthateverythingwasalright,shehadnoideawhattodo.

“Justyou,Greer,”shesaidwithasmile.“Ididn’texpecttomeetyou.”
ThatmusthavebeentherightanswerbecauseasGreerwatchedher,hisheavyeyestookherinand

swallowedherwhole.Avelinewastrappedinwhateverspellhehadcastanddidn’twishtobefreeofit.
Hereachedforherhand,cautiouslytracingherpalmwithhiscallousedfingers.Shewatchedthewinding
pathhisfingerstook:downherforefinger,acrossherpalm,overherwristandbackup.Whenhepaused,
sodidherbreathing.

Greerlookedunguardedandterrified.Hisgazekeptflickingfromhereyestoherlips.“Ava…”he

beganandthencoughedtoclearhishoarsevoice.Greerlookednothingliketheconfidentbassistshehad
seenonstage.Hewasnervousandshefounditcharming.Thefactthatamanwhocouldplayan
instrumentinfrontofthousandsofpeople,yetgotflusteredoverher,gaveherallkindsofconfidenceshe
didn’tnormallyhave.ShefeltsexyinGreer’seyes.

Shetookachance.Aonceinalifetime,throwcautiontothewindkindofchance.Avelineleanedin

closertohim,asiftheyhadasecrettoshare.Herlipspartedready,morethanready,forhis.Asexylittle
smirksnuckuponhisface.Hewasthere,righttherewithherinthemoment.Greercamecloser.Soclose
shecouldfeelhiswarmbreathonherlips.

ThedoortothebusopenedandRobstuckhisheadin.“Babygirl,wegottagetgoin’.”
Greer’seyeswentwideattheintrusionasifsensehadjustbeensmackedbackintohim.“Beright

there!”sheyelledtryingtobuythemafewmoreminutesbutGreerhadalreadydroppedherhand.

Herecoiledawayfromher.Hispostureridged,protected.“Andtheclockstrikesmidnight,”he

murmuredrunningahandthroughhishairandlookingawayfromher.

Avelinedidn’tfeellikeCinderella,shefeltlikethepumpkin.
“Howlongofadrivedoyouhave?”heaskedinaverycontrolledvoice.
Sheslumpedabitagainstthecouch,hershouldersgivingwayundertheweightofdisappointment.

Therewentallhersexyconfidence.Poof!Rightoutthewindow.

“Anhour.Whenisyournextshow?”Sheknewitwasalongshotbutmaybetheywouldbeinthe

areaafewmoredays.Maybetheycouldtrythisagain…

“TwodaysawayinKentucky.”
Well,ithadbeenanicethought.
Greerwouldn’tlookherintheeye.“NexttimeI’mintheareaweshould…”hesaid,usingthattone

youusewithanoldacquaintancewhoyourunintoatthegrocerystorepromisingtogettogetherandcatch
upbutwithoutanyactualdesiretofollowthrough.

“Definitely,”shesaidansweringevenbeforehecouldfinishhissentence.Needymuch?Geez.That

awkwardnessfromthebeginningofthenightwasback.Nolongerweretheyonthesamepage.Theywere
luckyiftheywereinthesamebookatthispoint.Itwasactuallypainfultosittherebesidehim.

“I’mgladIfinallygottomeetyou,”shesaidasshestood,unabletotakethediscomfortanylonger.

“Callmelater?”

Greerpulledherintoahug.Itwasmuchbetterthanthefirstoneshegavehim.Hewrappedhis

wholebodyaroundherandpulledherinclose.Itwasthebesthugshehadevergotten.Unfortunately,he
keptthelengthtoanappropriateamountandletgoofher.Hetookafullstepbacksotherewasaclear
distancebetweenthem.

Andheretheywerehotandcoldagain.
Thefootseemedmorelikeamile.Avelinewasdisappointedbutnotsurprised.Greerwasamusic

star.RustedandRecklesswashuge.Heprobablyhadgroupiesjustwaitingforhertoleavesotheycould
comewarmhisbed.Shelookedovertothebunkbeds.Greersleptonthebottomoneontheright.Itwas
barelybigenoughforoneperson,sheknew,shehadclimbedintoseewhenhegaveherthetour.

Greerjustwasn’tintoherlikeshewasintohim.Thatmoment,thatbriefinterludeofinsanityearlier

wasprobablyjusthimtakingadvantageofwhatwasinfrontofhim.Hehadnoplansontellingherwho
hewas.Greeradmittedasmuchearlier.Hewasjustbeingpolitetothegirlwhowaspulleduponstage
asajoke.

Stopit!Stopstopstopstopit!
Evenjustthinkingthatleftabadtasteinhermouth.AvelinewasstereotypingGreer.Makinghim

lookbadsothisthingbetweenthemdidn’tfeelsoweird.Hewasn’tlikethat.Theywereinterrupted.
Simpleasthat.HadRobnotcomeinwhenhehad,theywouldhavekissed.Buttheydidn’tsonothinghas
changed.Tomorrowtheywouldchatliketheynormallydid.Everythingwouldgobacktobeingnormal.

“GoodnightAva.Drivesafe.”
God,shehopethatdisappointmentinhisvoicewasbecauseshehadtogoandnotbecauseshe

wasn’twhathehadexpected.

“Youtoo.”

ChapterThree

Herlegswereproppeduponthebottomcornerofhermom’sbed.TheTVwasonandrerunsofold

PriceisRightepisodeswereplaying,thegoodoneswithBobBarker.Aveline’slapheldhercomputer.A
bustedanddatedlaptopthatwasmissingtheuparrowandashiftkey,theCDdrivewastapedtogetherso
itdidn’tfalloffandthepowercordonlychargedwhenitwaspointinginaparticulardirectionandunder
thelightofaharvestmoon.Sheneededanewlaptopbuttherewerenoextrafundstogoaround.Shehad
anotherhourbeforeRobgothomeandtookoverhernightlywatchsoAvelinecouldgotowork,again.

Sevendaysaweek,Avelineworkedasmanageratalittleclothingboutique.Sheclockedinatotal

offorty-twohoursperweek.Shewouldthencomehomeandspendthenextfourhoursdoingschoolwork
andcaringforhermother.WhenRobgotoffwork,hecamehometotakeoversothatshecouldgowork
attherestaurant,typicallythreeorfournightsaweek.Avelinepaidforanursetobewithhermotherin
themorningswhenshewasgone,otherwise,itwasallherandRob.

Hermother,Molly,hadoncebeenavivaciouswoman.Shewastheonlyfemaleengineeratthe

companysheworkedfor.Ittookballsforhertobewhoshewas,workinginaman’sworld.Shehadbeen
drivinghomeonenightwhenatruckt-bonedheratanintersection.Shehadflatlinedintheambulance
goingtothehospital.Avelinehadthoughtshehadlosthermotherthatday,andattimesshewishshehad.
ThelifeMollylivednowwasnolifeatall.Astepaboveavegetable,shespentherdaysinbedwatching
whateverAvelineputonthetelevision.Hermotherloathedtelevision.Backbeforetheaccident,shehad
beenareaderandenjoyedanoccasionalmoviebutTVwasnotherkindofentertainment.Thatfirstyear,
Avelineusedtoreadtohermotherduringtheday,thensheturneditovertoaudiobooksafterpickingup
thewaitressingjobandneededthattimetostudy.

ThesparkoflifeinMollyhadwitheredanddiedoverthelasttwoyears.Therewasn’tmuchofthe

womansheusedtobeinsideanymore.

Mollyshouldbeinsomekindofcarefacilityandshehadbeenatfirst,butthecostbecametoo

great.Avelineexhaustedallofherfunds.ShewasgoingtolosethehousewhenRobagreedtomovein
andhelpoutintheeveningssoshecouldworkanotherjob.Shehadnosociallifeandtoomany
responsibilitiestocarryonasanormalcollegestudent.Lifehadgottenveryreal,veryfast.Avelinehad
driftedfromherfriendsuntiltheystoppedcallingandshestoppedcaring.Theonlytwopeopleshetalked
toanymorewereRobandGreer.

Likesomeinvisibleleashwasleadingheron,Aveline’sheadturnedandlookedatherphone.After

theypartedways,GreerandAvelinehadcontinuedtotalk.Itwaslikeshefigureditwouldbe,exactlythe
same.Only,nowitwasn’t.Thatawkwardnessfromlastweekendhadfollowedherhome.Itcouldbeall
inherheadbutafterdaysofspeculation,shedecidedhefeltittoo.Thepauseswerebecominglongerand
thelaughterwasn’taseasy.

Whowascreatingtherift?Wasitherorhim?Maybetheybothwere.Avelinedidn’tthinkshewas

treatinghimanydifferentlynowthatsheknewhewasafamousbassistbutfromhisperspective,maybe
shewas.Atfirst,sure,shewasabitblindedbyhisstardombutthathadwornoffrealquickwhenthey
hadhungoutinthosehoursaftertheshow.Theirconversationswerethesame,exceptnowsheaskedhow
thebandwasandwheretheyweretravelingnext.Hisvoicealwaysgotstiffwhensheasked.Guarded.
Maybesheshouldstopasking.Avelinewasonlytryingtotakeaninterestinhislifebutshemustbegoing
aboutitwrong.

So,yeah,ithadtobeher.Whatdidhehavetobeweirdabout?Theonlyexplanationwasthatshe

wastreatinghimdifferently.Shemissedtheireasyconversationandinnocentteasing.Thelastfewdays
seemedlongernowthatheroneescapehadmanifesteditsownsetofproblems.

“Honey,I’mhome."Robannouncedalittlewhilelater.Avelinehadn’tgottenmuchhomeworkdone.

Onlytwoweeksleftofschool,itwascrunchtimeandeverysecondwasprecious.Yetthislasthourwas
spentmullingoverGreer.

“Howwasyourday,Darling?”Avelineaskedinherbestdutifulhousewifevoicewhenhecame

downthehallandintohermother’sroom.Sheacceptedakissonthecheek.

“Neithergoodnorbad,”hesaid,kissinghermother’scheek.Therewasnoreaction.Rarelywas

anymore.

Lookingatthetimeonherphone,shenoticedthatsheneededtogetmovingifshewasgoingtobeat

workontime,butalsothatshehadnonewmessagesfromGreer.Theriseofanticipationshehadwhen
shecheckedherphonequicklysankintodisappointment.

“Ishouldgetready.I’llbehomenolaterthaneleventhirty.”
Hewavedawayhercomment.“We’llbefine.MollyandIaregoingtopickoutanewaudiobookto

listentowhileImakeussomedinner.”

Robreallywasasaint.Shetoldhimsoweekly.
Aspromised,Avelinewashomebyeleventhirty.Robhadalreadygonetobedbutleftanotethathe

saveheraplateofspaghetti.Shewastootiredtoeat.Allshewantedtodowassitdownandnotgetup
againforaweek.Shedroppedherpurseonthetable,fishedoutherphoneanddrugherselftoherroom.
Avelineusedtohavetheroomonthefirstfloorbutshemovedhermotherinthereafterrealizingthatshe
couldn’tgetherupanddownthestairsaseasily.Herroomwasnowthemasterbedroom.Itwasn’tmuch
largerthantheonedownstairsbutitdidhaveitsownbathroom,completewithbathtub.

Avelinewantednothingmorethantosinkintoatubfullofscentedhotwaterbutshehadapaperto

workon.Theoneshewassupposedtobeworkingonthatafternoonbuthadgottennowherewith.

Shecollectedherbooksoffherdeskandcrawledintobed.Notevenfiveminutesintoherresearch

andherphonedingedwithamessage.

Howwasyourday?
Shesmiled.ItwasGreer.
Nothingspecial.Justgotoffworkandtryingtoworkonthatannotatedbibliography.
Finishedmineyesterday.Letmeknowifyouneedsomehelp.
Thanks.Iwill.
Shewaitedandwhennootherreplycame,Avelineputdownthephonewithanaudiblesighand

wentbacktowork.Hereyeskeptcrossingandheryawnswerebecominglonger.Avelinecouldbarely
keephereyesfocusedonthetextwhentheinfamousdingsoundedagain.

Areyoumadatme?
What?No.Shutup.
Thenwhyareyouactingweird?
Hadshebeenmoreawakethen,shemighthavereadhermessagebeforesendingitoffwithouta

secondglance.Insteadshetyped“Youalmostkissedme,”andhitsend.

Thethreelittledotsthattoldherhewastypingseemedtoflashforaneternity.Avelinehadwoken

upfully,worryingthatshehadsaidthewrongthing.Shewasaboutreadytoturnoffherphonesinceshe
couldn’tstandthenon-responsewhenherphonefinallysounded,twice.

Idid.
I’mreallysorryIdidn’tfollowthroughtoo.
Avelineheldthephoneinchesfromherfaceasshereadthewordsoverandover.Hewassadhe

didn’tkissher.Thatwas…amazing.

Youare?
Fuckyeah!Iwassonervous.Iscreweditallup,thewholenight.Ishouldhavetoldyousooner

whoIwas.Attheveryleast,Ishouldn’thaveletJasontakethereinsonourintroduction.

What?No!Itwasjust…weird.Meetingandall.Wewereunprepared.

You’resweetbutIfuckeditup.
Yeah,ok,maybealittle.
Haha.
;)
Herheartdidalittleflutterthing.Ithadsproutedwingsandwastryingtoflitteraroundherchest

likeabutterfly.Hisadmissiongavehertheconfidencetokeeptalking.Avelinewantedtohearmoreabout
howhewishedhewouldhavekissedherbecausethatwaswherehermindrevertedbacktowhenevershe
hadadownmoment.

Soyouwantedtokissme?
Ihaven’tstoppedthinkingaboutit.Theguysarebeingdicksaboutittoo.
Good.Notabouttheguysbutthekiss.Iwantedtokissyoutoo.
SoIhaven’tblownmychancewithyoucompletely?
Nocompletely,no.
I’mcallingamulligan.
What?
Adoover.
Avelinewasn’tsureshewasreadingthatright.Itseemedentirelytoogoodtobetrue.Butsomething

aboutitalljustfit.Likeallthoseawkwardmomentsbetweenthemjustclickedbackintoplaceand
suddenlytheywereontherightpathagain.

Oh,really?Andhowisthatgoingtowork?
NexttimeIseeyou,Ikissyou.
Hmmmm.Whereareyouat?
HeadingtoArizona.
Whenwillyoubeback?
Notsure.Eightweeksattheverymost.
:-/
Shehadbeentoldthatshehadthepatienceofasaint.Thiskisswouldtestthattheory.
That’salongtime.Yousureyouwon’tmeetsomebeautifulgroupieandforgetaboutme?
Never.You’vebeenscorchedonmysoul,Ava.Ipromiseyou,you’llgetyourkiss.
Herchestgaveafewloudthumpsandshealmostforgottobreathe.
I’mholdingyoutothat.Night,Greer.
Sweetdreams,Ava.

*****

Avelinereadoncemoreoverherpaperandfeltconfidentenoughtohanditin.Atonepointshe

wouldhavereadittohermom,butitwashardtokeepupwiththingslikethatwhenshewasn’tevensure
howmuchhermomunderstood.Thereweretheoccasionalmomentswhereshewouldseeaflickerofthe
oldMollyinhereyes,butshehadn’tseenoneinmonths.

AftersayinggoodnighttoGreer,shehadstayeduptoworkonherpaper.Theirconversationwas

likeanenergyshot.Shewasuphalfthenightworkingonitandwasfeelingthatlackofsleepnow.
Although,sinceshefinishedherpaperearly,technically,shecouldtakeanap.Shedeservedanap.

Lookinglonginglyatthebed,Avelinepulledoutoneofhertextbooksinsteadandopenedtochapter

ten.

She’dnapwhenshewasdonewithfinals.
“Yougotmail,”Robsaidashecameinwithastackofwhiteenvelopes,andonepinkone.
God,shehatedthepinkones.
Hewentthrougheverythingsortingthemby:important,canwait,dueyesterday,junkandbrown

chickenbrowncow.

Shehadnoideawhatthatlastonewasfor.
Avelineopenedthebillswithhimandputtheminherownpiles:crap,doublecrap,fuckmeand

bettersellakidney.

“What’sthatone?”sheasked.Therewasoneletterleft.Itwasn’tabill—thankgod—butanactual

greetingcard.

“This,”hesaiddramatically,pickinguptheletterandsmellingtheedgeofitlikeitheldthemanliest

ofcolognes.“Thisisyourfuture.”

Shefrownedandheldoutherhand.Robplaceditinheropenpalmwithasmile.Itwasaddressed

to“UniversityGirl.”

“Who?”sheaskedbutbegantotearatthepaper.Thefrontofthecardwasaphotoofagolfcourse.

Insidewasaplaneticketandoneword“Mulligan.”

“Ohmygod.”Hedidn’tjustsendheraplanetickettogokisshim.Therewasnoway.
Robsnatchedthecardoutofherhand.“Idon’tgetit,”hesaidafterreadingit.“Butthesearefun.I

takeitGreerwantstoseeyouagain.”Hewasholdingtheplaneticketinhishand.

“Iguessso.”
Theticketwasfortomorrowattwoo’clock.Hemadethemforaftershegotoffwork.Itwassweet.

Regardless,shecouldn’tgo.Avelinehadworkeveryday,nottomentionhermom.Shecouldn’taskRob
toabandonwhateverplanshehadfortheweekendtobabysit.

“Ican’t,”shesaidsoundingasdisappointedasshefelt.
“Uh,yes,youcan.”
Avelinegloweredathim.“Ihavetwojobsandcan’tjustflyoffto…”shegrabbedtheticketfrom

him.“Tucsonatthedropofahat.Plus,”shelookedoverathermother.Justbecausesheprobably
couldn’thearherdidn’tmeanshecouldn’t.Nousemakinghermomfeelbadwithsomethingoutofher
control.

Robwavedawayherconcernlikeitwasanannoyingfly.“Pfft.Shutup.You’vegotmeand

Caroline.CallherandaskifshecanstayontillIgethometomorrow.Youknowshewill.”Yeah,she
would.“Thengopretendtobearockstarforafewdays.Thinkofitasalongoverduevacation.”

Couldshereallydothis?Itjustseemedsoirresponsible.Avelinesighedlookingatthestupidgolf

coursecard.Hewantedtokissher.Greerwasgoingtopayforhertocomeouttohimjustsohecould
kissher.Hermouthtiltedinasmile.Hecouldwaittheeightoddweeksbutpatiencewasnothisstrong
suit.

“I’dstillhavetogetofffrombothjobs.”
Robgrinned.“Thatwasnotano.”
“Itwasaconditionalyes.”
Hewhooped.Sherolledhereyes.“Youdeservethisbabydoll.”
Yeah,shedid.Butcouldsheaffordtodoit?

ChapterFour

Hehadgottennosleep.Evenampedupwithanticipationofashow,Greerwouldmanagetocrank

outafewhourssleepbutwaitingforthetimewhenAveline’splanelandedwasuttertorture.Like,itwas
uptherewithabowlfullofthegreatestcookiedoughknowntoman,justsittingonthecounterbeggingfor
afingertodipinandswipeatitssugarygoodnessbuthavingthestrictestofmomsstandingguardwitha
woodenspoonwhichshewouldusetosmackyourhandawaywhiletellingyouhowsalmonellaworked.

Personally,he’driskitforaspoonfulofthatunbakedambrosiathatwaschocolatechipcookie

dough.

WaitingforAvelinewaslikewaitingforthatmomtoturnherback.
Butshewascoming.Thatinitselfwasamiracle.Greerwasn’tsurehowshewasgoingtotakehis

invitation.Avelinewasresponsible.Hedidn’tmeanthatinabadwaybutresponsiblegirlsrarely
droppedalltheirobligationstoflyacrossthecountrytohangoutwithaguyinabandwhofuckedupby
notmakingamoveonherlastweekend.AndAvelinehadalotofresponsibilities.Herschedulemadehis
looklikebreeze.

Speakingof,heneededtogetoutofbed.
Rorywasalreadyawakeandpokingaroundthekitchen.Themancouldbeupuntilthreeinthe

morningandstillwakeupatseven-thirtyonthedot.Hewastheirunofficialchefforthetour.Rorywasin
culinaryschoolwhentheyhadbeguntobooksomeprettywickedgigs.Hehadthechoicetofinishupand
theguysalltoldhimthattheywouldhangaroundwithhimuntilhewasdonebutRoryquitsothatthey
couldopenfiveshowsforEricChurch.Itwasamovethatputthemonthemapbeyondthosewhoknew
themaroundtheSmokies.

JasonandGreergrewupinCanton,NorthCarolina.Theoldmilltownsatonthefoothillsofthe

SmokeyMountainsinwesternNorthCarolina.Hisfamilysaidthingslike“Yuns”and“donegone”and
theyaddR’swhennoRwasneeded.It’sanaccentGreerandJasonfoughtlikehelltodrop.Jason’scame
outwhenhe’smadandGreerslippedbackintoitwhenhe’sdrunk.Thankfully,theyhadAshevilleless
thantwentyminutesaway.Withoutthatcity,thosetwowouldstillbeplayingatColonialTheaterand
nearbyfairs.

GreerandJasonmetNixandSawyeronvacationoneyear.Theywereallintheirearlyteensand

sufferingfromboredominthenorthernOuterBankswheretherewasnoboardwalk,noamusementpark
andmorehousesthanshouldphysicallyfitinonearea.Jason’sgrandmalivedinCorollaLiteandtheir
parentsshippedthemofffortwoweekseverysummer.

Theywouldspendtheirdaysonthebeachsittingwiththeirguitarsandattractingeverygirlthey

could.Itwasthatorminigolfforthethousandthtime.Oneday,whentheygottothebeachthereweretwo
otherkidssittingintheirspot.Oneofthempickedaguitarandtheothersang.

This,ofcourse,meantwar.
Thedaywasfullofthetwopairsfightingforattentiononthebeach.Eachpairwouldconstantlytry

tooneuptheother.Problemwas,GreerandJasonweren’tsingers.Nixhadthisrough,smokydrawtohis
voicethatevenatsixteen,soundedlikemountainmadewhiskey.Admittingdefeat,becausetheycouldn’t
beatNix’svoice,GreerandJasonwentoverandintroducedthemselves.Therestofthetripwasspent
sittingunderthesunjammingwiththeirnewfriends.Eachsummertheywouldmeetupandplaytheir
heartsouttilloneofthemhadtogohome.

ItwasonthatbeachthatRustedandRecklesswasborn.Rorydidn’tcomeonboarduntilafewyears

later.Hewasanaccidentthatneededtohappen.TheywereplayingatadivebarinKnoxvillewhenNix
overheardthebartendertalkingshitonthem.Nixinvitedhimuponstagetodobetter.Hedidn’t,Rorywas
morerockthancountrybuthewasdamngood.Afteraroundofdrinkstoclearanybadfeelings,Rorywas

invitedintothefold.Hechangedtheirsoundandsuddenly,theyhadfoundtheirniche,southernrock.

“Getup,Assholes,”Rorysaidfromtheirsmallkitchen.“Thisshitisperfectionandneedstobe

admired.”

Greerpulledbackthecurtainthatprovidedlittleprivacybutwasthebesttheygot,andfoundfeet

hangingfromthebunkabove.HeswattedatJason’shobbitfeetandduckedaroundthekickthatcamehis
way.HeranintothebathroombeforeeitherSawyerorJasoncouldstinkitup.Ashowernowmeant
guaranteedhotwater.

“Iamnoteatingthose.”
“Fuckthat.”
“You’readick,Rory.”
“Butitsmellssogood.”
TheproblemwithRorycookingishealwayssabotageditsomehow.Greerfinisheduphisshower

andwrappedatowelaroundhiswaist.Beforehechanged,hewentouttothekitchenandtookalookat
whatallthefusswasabout.Atthelittletable,SawyerandJasonsatwithplatesofpancakesinfrontof
them.Eachwerefrowningandshovingthesweetbreakfastintotheirmouthsasfastashumanlypossible.
Jasonhadsyrupdrippingdownhischinbuthedidn’tstoptowipeitup.

Rorywasgrinningfromhisspotbythecooktop.HepickedupaplateandhandedittoGreer.They

werepancakesalright.Penispancakes.

“Isthisoneejaculating?”heasked.
“Yeah,”Rorysaidproudly.
“Wha’dyouget?”heaskedsittingdownbesideJason.
Aroundamouthfulofpancake,hesaid,“Crabs.”GreerlookeddownandfoundthatJasonhadgotten

thechocolatechippancakes.

SawyertiltedhisplatesoGreercouldseehis.“Igothairyballs.”Cinnamonhadbeendustedacross

theperfectlyformedballs.“I’mpissedbutfuck,thesearegood.”

RorywasmuchlikeaSourPatchKid.Hewassourandsweetatthesametime.Itdrovethemall

nutsandnoonecouldeverdecideiftheyweremadornotattheman.

“YoB!Youhungry?”Roryyelledtothefrontofthebus.Brandonwasoneoftheirroadieswhowas

atruckdriverforUPSinapreviouslife.Themanlikedtodrivebigthingsandnoneofthemmindedhim
steppinginforthetour.Greerhadhatedbackwhentheywerestarvingartistsandtheyhadtotaketurns
drivingtheirfirstbusaround.

“I’llwaittillthereststop.Couldusesomecoffeethough.”
Rorypouredacupfromtheireverbrewingcoffeemaker.Sawyeralonedrankafullpoteach

morning.Whilelifeonthebuswentonaroundhim,Greerpokedathisejaculatingpancakes.Heknewthat
anythingRorymadewasgoingtobedeliciousnomatterwhatitlookedlike.Buthismindandappetite
wereelsewhere.

Like,say,onaplaneflyingoverthemidstateswithalayoverinDallas.
“Youhaveathingagainstpancakecum?Iatemycrabs;youhavetoeatyourcum.”Jasonwas

drinkinghisfirstRedBulloftheday.Therewouldbeahalfadozenmorebythetimehecrashedtonight.
Couldn’tbehealthy,butthenagain,lifeontheroadneverwas.

“Nah,justnothungry.”
Hedidn’tbuyit.JasongrabbedGreer’sforkandcutthroughbothofhispancakes.“Thesecretto

gettingthemdowneasieristoeatbothatthesametime.”Heheldupthebiteofpancake.“Openup
muthafuckerorI’llstartmakingtrainnoises.”

Someonebehindthem,probablyRory,coughedintohishand.“Twodicksatthesametime.”
HewantedtosaythiswasweirdandoutoftheordinarybutJasonalwaysmotheredhim.
“I’mmoreofanairplanekindofguy.”Greergrabbedtheforkandatethebite.

“Sowhatisit?”heaskedstretchinghisarmsacrossthebackofthebooth.“Wait.Iknow.It’s

becauseUniversityGirliscomingtoday,isn’tit?Ifyouaskme,I’msurprisedsheisgivingyouanother
chanceafteryoudidn’tevensealthelastencounterwithakiss.”

“Howthefuckdidyouknow?”Greerhadn’ttoldanyoneshewascomingyet.Heplannedonthem

figuringitoutwhenhebroughtherbacktothebusoncehepickedherup.Thelastfewdayseachand
everyoneofthemhadgottenindigafterdigaboutthatdamnkiss.

“Dude,weareonatwelvehundredsquarefootbus.Therearenosecrets.”

*****

Avelinewasn’tafanofflying.Itwasn’tthefearofbeingrocketedthroughtheair,orturbulence,or

landingandtakingoff.Itwasthatshehadtobestucknexttoorin-betweenstrangerswithnoroomfor
escapeorelbowroomforatleastanhour.

Roblovedflying.Hewasthatpersonwhowouldtryandstrikeupaconversationwiththeother

peopleintherow.Airportswerelikemuseumstohim.Hewouldgoentirelytooearlyjusttositand
peoplewatch.Avelinewishedshehadthatmindsetbutflyingwasuptherewithgoingtothedentist.It
wasanecessaryevil.

Thistrip,however,wascompletelydifferent.Greerhadgottenherfirstclassseating.Shemusthave

complainedtohimatonepointaboutherproblemswithflyingbecauseherbookedherasolitaryseatby
thewindow.Avelinehadnoneighbor.Noonetolookoverhershouldertoseewasshewasreading.No
onetointroducethemselvesandtellherwheretheyweregoingandwhy.Itwasjusther.

…andadozenpeoplewhoalllookedatherliketheyknewshedidn’tbelongthere.
Avelinewasacoachkindofgirl.Shewouldneverthrowawayhermoneyonafirstclassanything.

Asshesatthere,shefeltlikeanimpostor.

Thisweekend,though,shewasn’tgoingtoworryaboutmoney.Avelinehadcalledoffworkfor

whatmightbeherveryfirsttimeinanon-motherrelatedissue.Sheneededeverydollarshecouldmake
socallingoffworkforpersonaltimewasn’tanoption.Whenitcametimetomakingtheactualcall,she
begantofreakout.

“Justtellheryou’resick,”Robhadsuggested.
Lyingtoherbossheldnoappealbutwhatelsewasshesupposedtodo?Sheputitofftillthelast

momentandwhenshedidcallsheprayedthatitwenttovoicemail.

“CreativeElegance,thisisPatricia.”
Allthoseprayersgothernowhere.Robwassilentlymouthingtohertolieherassoff.Hethen

startedtofakecoughandpretendtothrowupalloverherdesk.“Patty…uh,hi.It’sAveline.”

“Hey,sweetie,”Pattysaid,hercustomervoiceevaporating.
“SoIamnotgoingtobeabletocomeintoday.”
“Iseverythingok?”Concern.Therewasconcern.Avelinecouldn’tlietoawomanwhowas

concerned.

“Yeah…Imeanno.I,uh.Look,IcouldlietoyouandsayI’msickbutIjustneedapersonalday.”
Pattylaughed.“Good.It’sabouttime,girl.I’vebeenworriedaboutyou.Aveline,youworktoo

muchandthenthereisyourmommaathome.You’vebeenlosingweightandlookpalemostdays.Iwas
abouttonotputyouonthescheduleforafewdaysjustsoyoucouldrest.Noneedforthatnow.”

Losingweight?She’dhavetocheckoutthescalelateron.Avelinehadn’thadtimeforsuchtrivial

thingslikeweighingherself.Plus,sheatecrapallthetime.Ifanything,sheshouldbegainingweight.

“ThanksPatty.I’llbeback-”
“YouhaveofftillTuesday,”sheinterrupted.“Godosomethingfun…ornothingatall.Sitinbedand

watchNetflixforallIcare.Justenjoyyourself,Aveline.”

Shegotanextradayoff.Notsomethingshehadexpected.AndPattysaidthatshewasgettingpaid

forthetimeoff.Sinceshealwaysusedhervacationtimefordoctorappointmentsforhermomandnever
forherself,Pattywasgivingherafewextradaysthisyear.

“Consideritabirthdaybonus.”
“Butmybirthdaywastwomonthsago.”
“I’mtheboss.Imaketherules.”
Avelinelovedherjob.
Whentheybegantheirdecent,sheturnedonherphone—Avelinewasarebellikethat—shehada

tonoftextsfromGreerandanumbershedidn’tknow.Thefirstonewasapictureofpancakesshapedlike
penisesandejaculatingsyrup.ThesecondpicturewasofRoryholdingGreer’sarmsbehindhisbackand
Jasonforcefeedinghimthepancakeswiththecaption“Twodicksatthesametime.”

Shesnortedoutalaughsoloudthatthepassengersaroundherallgaveherthestinkeye.
Greer’smessagesbeganasfranticresponsestothosepictures.
Sorry!Theguysstolemyphonetogetyournumber.
Shit.Ignorethatpicture.
Andthatone.
That’sSawyertextingyou.Ihaven’tbeenkidnappedandforcedtoeatdickpancakesinatowel.
Although,thatwouldbepreferableatthispoint.
Muchlessembarrassing.
Fuck.I’msorry.
ThemessagesthenchangedtoexcitementasshegotclosertoArizona.
Onmywaytotheairport.
Ihadtofightofftheguys.Theywantedtocomewith.
You’rewelcome,btw.
Attheairport.I’llseeyousoon.
Avelinesenthimaquickreply.
Landed!NobaggagebutI’llmeetyouatbaggageclaimB.
Firstclassalsobroughtwithittheperkofexitingfirst.Shewasofftheplaneminutesafterlanding.

Avelinealwaysseemedtobeseatednexttothatguywhowouldstanduprightaftertheplanelandedand
staystandingtheentiretime.Likethatwasgoingtomakepeoplemovefasterorsomething.

Avelinegrabbedherbagandbackpackandfollowedtheotherpassengersout.Manyofthemseemed

comfortablewithwheretheyweregoingandshehopedtheywouldleadhertothebaggageclaim.Which
theydid.Itwasatthispointthatherheartdecideditwantedtotryandescapeherchest.Avelinehad
neverfeltitpoundsohard.Wasitpossibletohaveaheartattackattwenty-fivebecauseofexuberant
excitement?TheCinnabunshecouldn’tdenyherstomachearlier,wasthreateningtomakeanappearance
aswell.Thatwasallnerves.Herchestheldthethrillofexcitement,herstomachtheupturnof
nervousness.Herbrainwassomewhatfunctionalaslongasshedidn’tlettheanxietygettoher.Allshe
neededwereherlegstokeepdoingtheirthingandmaybeshewouldsurvivethis.

Shefoundtheescalatorsdowntothebaggagearea.Greerwastherewaitingforher.Hehadasign

tuckedunderonearmashesmiledandscribbledawayatpiecesofpaperthatasmallgroupoffansthrust
athim.Hedidn’tbotherdisguisinghimselfveryhard,whichwasprobablythereasonhehadfangirlsall
aroundhim.Hisbrownhairwasn’tvisibleatallunderthewornbaseballcapheworeandhehadapair
ofsunglasseshangingfromtheneckofhist-shirt.Therestofhimlookedassheremembered.Tattoos
downhisforearms,jeanshangingoffhiships,hissmilewasbrightandgenuineashetalkedwithhisfans
whiletryingnottoattractanymoreattention.

Avelinemadeittothebottomoftheescalatorwithouthimspottingher.Shesmiledwhilewatching

himtrytobethegoodlittlerockstarandacknowledgehisfansallwhileobsessivelylookingathisphone.
Waitingforhertext.

Yeah,therewasapettypartofherthatlovedthefactthatallofthosegirlsweregoingtohateher

becauseshegottoleavewithGreer.

Shewalkedovertothem,thecrowdofpeoplehadbeguntogrowasbystanderslookedtoseeifthey

recognizedthemantakingpicturesandsigningautographs.Avelineslippedintothegroup.

“No,I’mactuallywaitingforafriendofmine,”Greersaidpolitelytosomeonewhoaskedwherehe

wasflyingto.

“Ohhparty!Youguysneedsomeextrabodies?”oneofthegroupiesasked.
Greerletherdownwithasmile.“Nopartiesthistime,ladies.Iplanonhavingaverylaidback

weekend.”

“Soundsgoodtome,”Avelinesaidjoiningtheconversation.
Greer’ssmiledfelloffhisfacewhenhespuntoseeher.Foramomentshewasn’tsurehewas

actuallyhappythatshewasthere.Hisstarewassoserious,soseverethatshefeltself-conscious.

Heatrushedtothetipsofherears,turningthembrightred.“Uh,hi.”
Asshespokehiseyeswenthotandhislipsquirkedintoasmirk.“Ava,”hesaidbreathlessly.Greer

reachedforherarmandpulledherintohisbody.Hisveryhard,shapelybody.Theyhadn’ttouchedlast
time,notlikethis.Notsofully.Everypieceofherwastouchingeverypartofhim.Greerkeptherclose
withahandonhernapeandthendidtheverythinghepromisedhewoulddo.Hekissedher.

Andkissedher.
Andkissedher.
Shewasdrunkonhislips.Thefunkindofdrunkwheretherearelotsofsmilesandlaughing.Tons

oflaughing.Anddancingwithnoinhibitions.Sheswayedinhisarmslikeshewasdancingtoarhythm
onlytheycouldhear.Thekissfeltgood.Itfeltright.Itmadeherrealizejusthowmuchshehadwantedit
tohappenlastweek.

Italsomadeherthinkaboutwhenthelasttimeshehadbeenkissed.Ithadbeenlongenoughthatthe

words“spinster”and“catlady”cametomind.

Whenhepulledback,shewasbreathless.
Shewasalsoentwinedaroundhimlikeavine.Avelinehadpracticallyclimbedhim.Theirsmall

groupoffanshadgrown.Shecaughtlooksofenvy,oflustandquiteafewwholookedpissed.

Ignoringthem,sheliftedherselfonhertoesandkissedhimagain.Justaquicktouchbutitmadehim

smile.

“Idobelieveyourmulliganwassuccessful,”shesaid.
Greerchuckled.Hisvoicegoingstraightdownherspineandcurlinghertoes.“Imissedyou.”
“It’sbeenaweek.”
“Feltlikelonger.”Greerkepthishandonherlowerbackbutputsomedistancebetweenthem.“It

wasnicetomeetyouall,”hesaidtohisfansandgrabbedherbag.“Youready?”

Shenodded.“Hellyeah.”

*****

“What’swiththesign?”Avelineaskedaftertheygotsettledintothelimo.Shewastryingnotto

freakoutbecausethiswasherfirsttimeinalimo.Herdatestopromneversprungforone.Itwaskindof
cheesyinsidewithallthecolorchanginglightsbutfunallthesame.

Greerturnedaroundthesign.Itread,“UNIVERSITYGIRL.”
Cansomeonebeattractedtopenmanship?Isthatathing?Avelinewascrushinghardonhisperfectly

blocky,bold,sansseriflettering.Thenagain,themanjustkissedherintonextTuesdaysoitcouldbethat
too.

SpeakingofTuesday…
“SomybossgavemeoffuntilTuesday.Somethingaboutworkingtoomuchandwhatnot.”

Helookedatherasifherwordswereapuzzlethatneededputtogether.“Sowhatyou’resayingis

thatIgetyouforanotherday?”

“Um,yeah.What’swiththeconfusedface?”
Greerputthesignonthefloorbyhisfeetandgrabbedherhand.Hekissedherknucklesandthen

wovehisfingersthroughhers.“Youdidn’tsayyouweregoingtospendthatextradaywithme.ForallI
knewyouweregoingtogohomeandrelaxthere.Orstudysincefinalsarenextweek.Orreadtoyour
mom.OrIdon’tknow.”

“I’mhere.IfIplannedonleavingearly,Iwouldn’thavecomeatall.I’mnotsurewhatthisisbutI

likeyouandI’velikedyouforalongtime.Canthatbeenoughfornow?”Noteventenminutesintothe
tripandshewasadmittingherfondnessofhim.Hermouthneededanoffswitchsometimes.Greerwas
toldeverytimehewalkedoutsidehowmuchpeoplelovedhimbecauseofhisfame.Ugh,shewasso
stupid.Nowshesoundedlikeeveryotherpersonheknew.Whatmadehersaythat?

Thefactthathewassmilingatherandnotrecoilingwasagoodsign.Hewassurprisedbutnot

running.Maybeshehadn’tjustcommittedrelationshipsuicide.

“I’msogladyoucame.”Hetuggedherdowntohischestandkissedherhead.Shewonderedifhe

knewhowperfectthisfelt?“Ilikeyoutoo,Ava.Nowthattheshockofmeetingyouhassubsided,I’llbea
betterhost.Infact,ifyoucouldjustforgetourlastmeetingaltogether,thatwouldbegreat.”

“What?”sheaskedliftingherheadfromwhereitlaidonhim.Hecouldn’tbeserious.“Besidesthe

beingcalledoutonstagething,Ilikedlastweekend.”

Hiseyebrowquirkedup.“Really?”heasked.
“Yes!”shesaidwithasmile.“Itwasboundtobeawkwardregardlessofhowwellwekneweach

other.I’mjustgladwegotalltheweirdnessoverwithsonowwecanjusthavefun.Speakingof,whatdo
youhaveplanned?”

Greerseemedtobetakingwhatshesaidtoheart.Hekepthisarmoverhershoulderasshesettledin

besidehimonthebenchseat.“Well,wehaveashowtonightandthentravelingtonightandtomorrow.
Thenanothershowbutwestayfortwonights,whichmeansahotelandarealbed.Wearealllooking
forwardtothat,”hesaidwithasmile.“Mondaywecanexploretheareaabitbeforeyouhavetofly
home.”

Atthementionofahotelandbed,hermindwanderedoffintodangerousterritories.Greerstiffened

abit.Sheglancedupathimandfoundhismindlookedtohavewanderedtoo.

Hecaughtherlookingandblushed.
Greerfreakingblushed.
“Thatwasadirtythought,”shesaidandlaughed.
HerewasthethingaboutAveline,shemayhaveanon-existentsocialandsexuallifebutthatdidn’t

meanshewasn’teitherofthosethings.Beforehermom’saccident,shewasveryactive…acrossthe
board.BeingwithGreermadeherfeelherageagain.Forthelastthreeyears,shehadtobeanadult.A
fullblooded,makingmedicaldecisions,payingbills,jugglingcreditorsandmultiplejobskindofadult.It
feltgoodjusttobeheragain.Evenifitwasonlyforaweekend.

“Uh…”Greerstammered.Thencursed.Lookedaway.Lookedbackandcursedagain.Shegavehim

aminutetopieceoutwhateverconflicthewashaving.“Look,it’slikethis.Ihavenoshortageofpartners.
AllIhavetodoitwalkoutofthetourbusandI’dhavemypickofadozenwomenandafewmen.Not
thatIswingthatway,buttheoptionisthere.SoI’mexperienced,veryexperienced.I’vebeensafebutthat
doesn’tnegatethefactthatmydickhasbeenindozensofwomenacrossthestates.ButIlikeyou.They
werealljustaboutsex.I’ddothem,kickthemoutandthenlogonlineandtalktoyou.”

Avelinegrinned.Hewasgettingworkedupovernothing.Whatdidhethink?Thatshewasgoingto

madaboutallthewomenhehadsexwithbeforetheymet?Somewomenmightbethatkindofcrazy,she
wasnot.Hewassmartaboutit,wassafe.Avelinecouldn’taskformuchmore.

“I’mnotgoingtoripyouanewoneforsleepingwithotherpeople.Greer,wejustmet.Iknow

we’veknowneachotherforafewyearsnowbutphysicallythisisallnew.”Avelinelinedtheirpalmsup
sothattheywereflatagainsteachother.Herfingertipsjustreachedthetopmostknuckle.Hesmiled,
bendinghisfingersoverthetopsofhers.Shefeltthecallusesfromhoursuponhoursofplayingtouchthe
backofherfingers.

“I’mnotdenyingthatI’mattractedtoyouorthatjusttouchingyoumakesmeallflutterybutlet’snot

rushintothisallwilly-nilly.”Aveline’sjawdroppedinhorror.“Ohgod,didIjustsaywilly-nilly?Uh,
gag.Iamnotaninety-year-oldwoman,bee-tee-dubs.Justchannelingmygrandmaapparentlyandwhyam
Istilltalkingaboutthis?”Ohgod,sheneededtostop.Right.Fucking.Now.

Whileshewasbecomingthemostunattractivepersonever,Greerwaslaughinghisadorableassoff.

“Iunderstandwhatyoumeant.You’refine.Geez.Avastop.Just,no,stop.”

Ifitwasfine,thenwhywashestilllaughing?Couldshedie?Just,like,rightnow,alightningbolt

fromtheskyintohermouththatwouldn’tstoptalkingwouldbefabulous.

“Aveline,”hesaidstilllaughingatherashepulledhercloser.Hesmileddownather,hiseyes

gleaming,thoroughlyentertained,andkissedher.

Nowthatshutherup.
Herhandreflexivelyliftedtohisnape.Shepushedthehatoff,itwasstupidanyway,andlether

fingerscupthebackofhisheadholdinghiminplace.Nowthattheyweren’tinpublic,Avelineletgoof
herinhibitionsandletGreercarryheraway.Itwassubmission.Totalandcompletesubmission.Greer
delveddeeper.Thelimobecamehotter.Thewindowsfoggedup.

Shewantedtodevourhimbutsavoreverybite.Kissbykisstheygotcloser,pulledharder,needed

more.Herbodyneededthis.Sheneededthis.Therewasaverygoodchancethisweekendwouldleadto
sex.

Andherbodycheeredatthethought.
Whenhepulledbackshemadelow,softgroanoflonginginthebackofherthroat.Shewasontop

ofhim,herkneesoneithersideofhiships.Greer’shandwassqueezingherthightothepointofpain,but
shewassureshewasdoingthesametohisshoulders.Herhandswereanchoredtheresotheydidn’trip
offhisshirt.Therewasapressureonherthroatashisthumbsliddownthecolumnofherneckrightwhere
thesoundhadcomefrom.

Avelinecouldn’ttakehereyesfromhislips.Hecouldn’ttakehiseyesfromtheriseandfallofher

chest.

“Ididn’tmeanforthattohappenandIamnotapologizingforit.Butwehavetostop,Ava.”
Shecombedherfingersthroughhisshorthair.“Why?”
Greerclosedhiseyesanddroppedhisheadbackontheseatinbliss.“Becausethelimostopped

andthereisagoodchancethattheguysarewaitingrightoutside.”

Shehadn’tevennoticedbuthewasright.Theyweren’tmovinganymore.Avelinegotoffofhimand

fannedherface.Shewasflushed.Anyonewholookedatherwouldknowdirtythingshadbeen
interrupted.

Greerhadtoadjusthimself.Avelinehadnoissuesinwatchinghimdoso.Helookedupather,

catchingherintheactandgroanedloudly.

“Ahhell,baby,”hesaidtouchingheragain.Hepulledtheirheadstogetherandtookherlipsonce

more.“Youcan’tlookatmelikethat.Notnow.IhavehalfamindtomaketheassholeswaitoutsidebutI
knowthemandtheywouldhavenoproblemsopeningthedoororstealingthelimoanddrivingusoff
somewhere.”

Hehadapoint.Avelineslidherselftothefarendofthebenchseattheywereonandtookadeep

breath.Greerseemedtobedoingthesamethingonhisendoftheseat.

Therewasatapatherwindow.Shejumped,startledattheintrusionintotheZenstateofmindshe

wastryingtoachieve.

“Youtwodoneinthere?”
“Yeah,wewanttoseeUniversityGirl.”
“HernameisAveline,youfucks.”
ShesmiledandlookedovertoGreer,whowasgrimacing.“Ireallyhatethemsometimes,”he

muttered.

“They’recute.”WithoutcheckingtoseeifhehadgottenlittleGreerundercontrolinhispants,

Avelineopenedthedoorandwasgreetedwithwolfwhistlesandclapping.

Withalittlebowshedecidedthatcomingonthistripwasthebestideaever.

ChapterFive

“Sorryaboutthis,”GreerwhisperedtoAvelineaftergettinghersettledinthebackbedroomonthe

bus.Theguyshaddoneaquickcleanwhilehepickedherupanddamniftheplacedidn’tlooklivable.
Buttheirmanager,Terry,hadgottentherejustaftertheyhadandneededtospeakwiththem.

“It’sok.Doyouwantmetojuststayinthere?”
“No,”hesaidwithanarmoverhershouldersguidingherawayfromtheroomandovertothesmall

curveddinetteinthemaincabinofthebus.Heprobablyshouldhavesaidyes,thiswasbandbusiness
afterall,buttheyhadalimitedamountoftimetogetherandhedidn’twanttowasteamoment.

JasonpattedtheseatbesidehimandsmiledtoAveline.Shetooktheinvitationandsatdown.Greer

lookedtoSawyersilentlyaskingifitwasokshestayed.Theguitaristandstandinsingershruggedhis
shoulders.Hedidn’tcareifshestayedandthatwasgoodenoughforGreer.

“Alright,you’veknownthiswascoming,”Terrysaidtakingaseatonthesmallcouchacrossfrom

them.Hisassistant,Darcy,stoodbythedoorwithhernotepadoutattheready.Thatwomandidn’tgo
anywherewithouthertrustynotepadandcouldlookupabsolutelyanythingbyflippingbackafewpages.
GreersecretlywonderedifshehadGooglehiddenawayinthosepages.

AvelinewassandwichedinbetweenGreerandJason.UpuntilTerryhadstartedtalking,shehad

beenhavingfun.Now,shelookeduncomfortablebeingthere.Greerfoundherhandwedgedbetweenher
legsandthecushion.Hetuggeditfreesohecouldholdit.Avelinesenthimasmallsmile.

“Ican’tputitoffanylonger.Thelabel…I-I’msorry,butwhoisshe?”Terryhadbeenpolitely

ignoringAvelinebutsinceGreer’sattentionwasnowonherandnothim,hespokeup.

“Uh…she’s,”theyhadn’thadachancetotalklabelsyet.Hell,theyjustsharedtheirfirstkissand

limousinemakeoutsessionlessthanthirtyminutesago.Hedidn’tknowwhattheywereatthispoint.

“She’sstayingiswhatsheis,”SawyersaiddivertingTerry’sattention.“Nowtelluswhatyouhave

tosowecangettothepartweignorewhatyouhavetosay.”

Darcysnortedbutdidn’tlookupfromwhereshewasscribblingaway.Terryshothimanannoyed

look.“Ok,fine.Nosugarcoating.ThelabelwantsyoutoreplaceNix.Unlessoneofyoucanprovehe
is…”Hepausedtofindtherightword.

“Alive,”Rorysupplied.
“Iwasgoingtosayinrehab.”
Thebandsharedalook.Theyallknewthatwasbullshit.
“Weneedtoknowheisgettingcleanoryouneedtostartfindingapermanentreplacement.They’ve

givenyouthreemonthstofigurethisout.It’sworkedoutsofarbutwon’tformuchlonger.Theyhavealist
ofpeopleforyoutoaudition.”

Noonesaidanything.Theyhadthissametalkamonthagoandtheywouldhaveinamonthfrom

now.Untiltheyfoundhim,aliveordead,druggedorsober,Nixwouldnotbereplaced.Sure,thefucker
wasauserandwasprobablydead.Hewalkedoutonenightafterscrewingupsobadlyonstagethat
Sawyerhadtossedaroundgivinghimanultimatumofgettingcleanorleaving,butintheendnoneofthem
feltrightaboutit.Theywerefamily.MaybeitwasenablingNixbuttheywantedtohelp.

Noneofthemevergotthechance,though.AfterSawyercalmeddown,hewenttofindNixbuthis

brotherhadleft.TheycanceledtwoshowsinordertostayinSeattletolookforhimbuthewasgone.
Theymovedontothenextcitybutneverstoppedcallinghospitals,rehabsandpolicestationswithNix’s
description.NoneofthemhadgottenapositiveIDyet.

“Darcy,getthemthelist,”Terrysaidwavinghisfingerintheairlikeitwouldhurryherup.Her

eyesraisedfromthenotepadonlylongenoughtogivehimasideeyebeforelaunchingbackdowntoher
notes.Shewasn’tstupidanddidn’twastetimeonshitthattheywouldn’taccept.

“Terry,welikeyou.Weknowyouaren’ttryingtoleadusastraywiththisandthatyouaretryingto

dowhatisinthebestinterestfortheband.”Sawyerdidn’tlookattheirmanager,butkepthispalmsflat
onthetableandstaredatthegoldflecksonthehardsurface.Hisvoicewascalm,Sawyerwasn’tever
onetoraiseit.Buttheyhadalllivedtogetherlongenoughtoheartheunderlyinganger.

“Butthenexttimeyouaskustoreplacemybrotherwillbeyourlastdayasourmanager.”
TogiveTerrysomecredit,hedidnotstutter,backpedalandchangecourseorgetmad.Instead,he

noddedonceandstood.“Alright.Ihearyou.I’lltrytomakethelabelhearyou,too.”

“Thankyou,”Sawyersaid,raisingfromhisseat.“Now,wehaveaguest,whowewouldallvery

muchliketoentertain.Soyoucanleavenow.”

GreerlookedtoAveline.Theirhandswerestillentwinedunderthetable.Shehadthislookinher

eyelikeshewastryingtodisappear.That’swhenherealizedeveryonehadturnedtheirattentiontoher.

Well,thiswasashitwaytostarttheweekend.
Fromthelooksofeveryoneelse,theywerefeelingthesame.Greerdidn’tknowwheretogofrom

here.Avajustgotahardlookinsidewhatthey’vebeentryingtokeepatightlidon.Thetruthofitwas,
theydidn’tknowwhattodo.Nixupandleftthem.Maybeifhewouldhaveleftwordthathewasleaving
theband,theycouldmoveforwardbutuntiltheyknewwherehewas,noonewantedtodoanything.

EspeciallySawyer.
Thosebrothersweretight.Nix’sabsencerockedSawyerharderthananyofthem.Greerhadalways

beenjealousoftheirbond.Itwasonehedidn’tsharewithhistwin.JamieandGreerwereidenticaltwins
buthadneverhadthat“twinthing”somanypeopletalkabout.Theywerepolaropposites.Jamiehadbeen
inandoutofprisonhalfadozentimes.Hesold,boughtandusedprettymucheverydrugoutthere.Greer
hadn’theardfromhimsincehewassentencedbacktoprisonsixmonthsago.Theonlyupdateshegot
werefromhisparents.

“So,uh…”Aveline’svoicecutthroughhisinnerrumblingsofhisbrother.“What’sagirlgottadoto

getsomethingtoeataroundhere?”

Sawyerrecoveredfromhisdazebeforetherestofthem.Helaughedabittoshakeofftheweight.

“Wearesomepoorhosts,darlin’.Rory,orderussomepizzas.Jason,I’vegotacaseofbeerinthecloset.
Getthatshitinthefridge.”Theybothnoddedandgrinned.Roryletoutalittlewhoopofexcitementatthe
mentionofbeer.“AndGreer,”Sawyerstoodsotheotherscouldgetupandontotheirtasks.“Kissthelady
beforeshegetsboredandgoeshome.”

Greergrinned.“IthinkIcanhandlethat.”Avelinelaughedashepulledheracrosshislapand

dippedher.Whenhepulledherbackupitwasrightintohischestandintohiskiss.

“Oh!”shesaidpushingbackasathoughtcametoher.“Ihavesomethingwecando.”Herwhole

facelitupwithexcitement.Personally,hethoughthiskissshouldhaveelicitedthatresponsenotwhatever
shebroughtwithher.Hewouldn’ttakeittoopersonally,though.Shewiggledoffhislap.Anddamn,that
wasonefineasfuckwiggle.Thatassofherswaspuretorture.Asshedisappearedintotheback
bedroom,Roryinformedthemthatthepizzaswouldbethereinthirtyminutes.

“Thisisprobablystupidbuttherewasthat'twodicksatthesametime'commentearlieranditmade

megladIbroughtthisalong,”Avelinesaidfromtheotherroom.

“Whatisit?”Greerasked.
Sheappearedtriumphantinthedoorwayholdingablackbox.“Tada!”
“What’sthat?”Sawyerasked
AvelinecamebacktothetableandsatbesideGreer.Sheopenedtheboxandbegantopullout

cards.“It’sCardsAgainstHumanity.It’sfunbutifyouguysdon’twanttoplay,it'stotallycool.”

Havingjustclearedtheirfridgeofeverythingtomakeroomforthebeer,Jasonsatdownbeside

AvelinemakingGreerscootaroundthetable.Hehadahandfulofcardsandwaslookingthroughthem.
Thesmileonhisfacejustkeptgettinglargerasheshuffled.

“Oh,thisishappening.Guys,thereisacardaboutmidgetsshittingintoabucket.Ineedthisinmy

life.”

Avelinesmiled.“Ithinkyouareallreallygoingtolikeit.Actually,Ican’tbelieveyou’venever

played.”

“Notime,”Greerexplained.“Wehaveadeckofcardsonhereforwhenwegetreallyboredbutit

rarelycomesout.I’vegotschoolworktododuringourdowntimeandthey’vegot…stuff.”Hellifhe
knewwhattheyalldidwhenhewasimmersedinhomework.

Theyplayedtotenandthenfifteen,stuffingtheirfaceswithgreasypizzaanddrinkingenoughthat

theyhadtoplayaroundthebeerbottles.Greerhadn’tlaughedthathard…possiblyever.Youlearnalot
aboutapersonwhenyouplayaraunchycardgamewiththem.

Ifitweren’tforKelly,theirfrontofhouse,cominginandaskingwhytheyweren’tbackstageyet,

theymighthavemissedtheconcert.

*****

YesterdayshewasathomewithhermotherwatchingGrey’sAnatomy,eatingabowlofcrappymac

andcheesewhilelounginginherugliestbutmostcomfortablepairofsweats.Todayshewasstanding
backstagewiththeband,RustedandReckless,watchingastheypreppedtogooutandplayforthousands
ofpeople.Afterhearingthattheyweresupposedtobeonstageinfifteenminutes,Avelineputdownher
handandtriedtomovethemalong.Buttheguystooktheirtimetofinishoffthelastroundofthegame.
Fifteenminutesapparentlywasmorethanenoughtimeforthemtospruceupandgetintoposition.

Thefinallytallywasassuch:
Rory-27
Aveline-23
Greer-19
Jason-19
Sawyer-18
Itwasn’tmuchinthewayofatitle,butthefactthatherdirtymindbeatoutmostofthebandwasa

prettysweetaccomplishment.Shemighthaveaplaquemadetocommemoratetheoccasion.

Assheputawaythegame,SawyerchangedhisshirtandJasonputonhiskilt.Asfaraspreparations

went,thatwasit.Theyallleftthebustogetherbutseparatedprettyquickly.Greerranherthroughthe
gauntletoffansoutsidethestadiumwhileeveryoneelsestayedbehindtosignautographsandtake
pictures.

Backstage,theenergywasthrillingandabitoverwhelming.Avelinewastryingtoabsorbeverything

thatwashappening.Sawyerhadsecludedhimselfandsatonastackofbinswithabottleofwater.Rory
hoppedfromfoottofoot,swinginghisarmsandlooseninghisbody.Whenhelinkedhisarmsbehindhis
backandpushedhischestouttostretch,hisCapitanAmericashirtstretchedsotightlyoverhisbodythat
shethoughtitmighttear.

TheHulkwouldhavebeenmorefitting.
Rorycaughtherwatchingandsentherawink.
Withablushforbeingcaughtogling,sheturnedherbacktoTheHulkandsearchedforGreer.She

foundhimstandingwithJason,theirheadsbenttogether,eyesclosed.Neitherofthemspoke.Itwasa
momentofsilence,thecalmbeforetheeruptionoftheconcert.JasonhadahandontopofGreer’shead,
GreerhadhisontopofJason’sshoulder.Theywereconnected.Avelinefoundtheimageofthem,backlit
bythestage,sharingamomenttobequitebeautiful.Itwasoneofthosetimesthatshewishedshehad
somekindofknowledgeofphotographybeyondwhatherphoneandfilterscoulddo.Thescenewasone
thatshouldbecapturedandpreserved.Itneededtobesharedwiththefans.

Ahandonhershoulderjostledherfromherdriftingthoughts.Rorystoodbesideher.Hisheight

madeherfeellikeadwarf.Earlieroglingaside,Rorygaveherthefeelingofabigbrother.Thesame
feelingshegotfromRob.Hemayhavebeentheladies’manofthegroupbuthewouldnevermakeher
feelawkwardoruncomfortable.Hiseyesmaydriftfrombutttobuttandhissmilemightmakepanties
drop,buthehadagoodheart.

“Theydothateveryshow,”hesaidwatchingGreerandJason.“Someweirdmindmeldthing.Can’t

sayIunderstanditbutitworkseverytime.”

“Ritualsareimportant,”shesaidstillwatchingthem,findingithardtolookaway.
Rorymovedhishandtoherothershoulderandstoodbehindher.Heleaneddownsothatonlyshe

couldhearhisnextwords.“IfyougetintoarelationshipwithGreer,you’realsogettingintoonewith
Jason.That’sonebromancethatcan’tbebroken.Justthoughtyoushouldbewarned.”

Rorygavehershoulderasqueezeandwalkedaway.
JasonslappedGreerontheback,endingthemoment.Theystoodbackfromeachother,grinning

withasharedcompanionship.ItwasJasonwhocaughtherstaring.HepushedGreerinherdirectionand
wenttowaitfortheircuebackwithSawyer.

“Hey,”Greersaidwrappinghishandsaroundherlowerback.“Youready?”
Avelinewaspumped.Shehadn’treallygottentoenjoythelastconcertbecauseshehadbeenso

worriedaboutwhathethoughtofher.Sheplannedtomakethemostofthisone.“Ican’twait.HaveItold
youhowmuchIlovethisband?Becausetheyare…ugh!Soamazing.”

Shewasbouncingwiththesynchronizedchaoticenergyofbackstage.Thesetwasbeingchanged

fromtheopeningband.Peoplewererunningbackandforthwithcords,otherswithinstruments.The
crowdwasloudastheywaitedforthemtogetstarted.

Greerpulledalanyardoutofhisbackpocketandhandedittoher.“Here.Thisissoyoucangoout

thereandwatchifyouwant.There’saspotrightdowntherebythesecuritythatyoucangetafrontstage
view.Justflashthisandyoucangoanywhere.”

Sheturneditoverinherhand.ItwasabackstagepassbutGreerhadwrittenonittoo.“'Backstage,

allaccess,givethiswomananythingshewantspass.'Nice,”shesaidlaughing.“ButhowdotheyknowI
didn’twriteallthisonthere?”

“Youaretheonlyonewithapasstonight.Ishowedittoeverysecurityguardhereandevenwrote

thatwhiletheywatched.You’llbefine.”

Avelineslippeditoverherhead,feelinglikeshejustfoundthelastgoldentickettotheWonka

factory.Hersmilewaswideandeffortless.Sofarthedayhadbeenamazing.Therehadbeenthebump
whilethebanddealtwithbusinessbutotherwiseAvelinewashappythatshewasthere.

EspeciallynowsinceGreerwaslookingatherlikeshewashisownpersonalgoldenticket.
Jasonwalkedpassedthem,slappingGreerintheheadashewent.Itknockedthatsinfullookhewas

givingher,rightoffhisface.

“Wrapthatup,Romeo,”Jasonsaidbeforerunningoutonstageandthrowinghisarmsintheairas

thecrowdroared.

AvelinehookedherfingersinGreer’sjeanspocketandpulledhimforwarduntiltheywereflush

againsteachother.Heletherleadhimonwithasmirk.Theremayhavebeenmultiplelayersofclothes
betweenthembutshecoulddefinitelyfeelhisinterest.

RoryandSawyerwalkedpassednext.Sheignoredtheircomments,asdidGreer.Hewastoobusy

staringatherlips.

Wait,maybehewaslookingatthelittlemoleshehadonherchin.
Experiment.Avelinesuckedherbottomlipandbititlightly.Greerdrewinasharpbreath.Nope,he

wasdefinitelylookingatherlips.

LastweekendRobhadtoldhershelookedsexyhot.Thisweekendshefeltit.Greerhadthiseffect

onher.Whenhelookedatherlikeshewasagiantcakeandhewantedtolicktheicing,shegotthis

confidencethatmadeherdothingslikerubherselfalloverhimlikeacatinheat.Avelinedidn’tusually
havethatconfidenceunlessvodkaanddancingwasinvolved.

Hishandstraveleddownherbacktocupherassandsqueezed.
“Ihavetogo,”hesaid.
“Iknow.”
Neitherofthemmoved.
Sawyerwasgreetingthecrowd.Shemissedwhathesaidbuttherewasaloudroaroflaughter.
“Fuck.Ireallyhaveto-”
Avelinegrabbedhisneckandpulledhimdowntoherlips.Thekisswashardandfast.Sheraised

herselfonhertiptoestogetclosertohim.Greerwrappedhisarmsaroundhertokeepherclose.Hiships
groundintoher.Ohgod,shewantedthatsobad.Butnotnow.Peoplewaiting.Lotsofpeople.Waiting.

“Mmmmmm,”shemoanedintohismouth.Hishandpulledherleguptohiship.Withmoreaccess,

hetooktheopportunitytodriveherfuckingmadandslidehishanddowntheundersideofherthigh.

Avelinebrokethekissoff.Hiseyesdrankherin.Everythingfromherswollenlipstotheblushthat

traveleddownherchestdisappearingbeneathhershirtwastakenin.Shefeltnakedtherebackstagewith
hisbandmateswatchingandwaitingforhimtojointhem.Naked,ashistouchleftherbothbreathlessand
onfire.Naked,ashisgazecouldseethelustshefeltforhimcrawlupherskininaflushedvine.

“Goodluck,”shesaidbreathlesslyloweringherleg.
Thecrowdwaschantinghisname.Greerslidherdownhisbodytillherheelswerebackonthe

floor.“Youaretrouble,Ava.Thebestkindoftrouble.”Hekissedhercheekandleftherthere,swaying.

Greerranoutonstagetoaloudmixoflaughterandcheering.
Rorymadetheveryadultsoundofawhipbeingcracked.
“Funny,”Greersaidintohismicashegrabbedhisbassandadjustedit.
“Canwestarttheconcertnowordoyouneedtoadjustyourselffirst?”Jasonasked.Therewasa

ba-dum-tishofhisdrums.“Thankyou!I’mhereallnight.”

ItwasSawyerwhostartedthemoff.HebeganstrummingthebeginningchordsofLitUp.Jason

pickedupthedrumsandsoonthejokesweregoneandallthatwasleftwasthemusic.Avelinethrewher
handsintheairanddanced.

Theyplayedtwosongsbacktoback.Theenergywasamazing.EverytimeshelookedupGreerwas

there,watchingherwithasmile.Shedancedforhim.Shedancedforherself.Afterafewminutesshe
didn’tcareanymoreandshejustdanced.Thesongflowedoutofherasshesangalong.

AttheendofCarolinaMoonlight,themoodshiftedasSawyerbegantoplaysomethingshehad

neverheard.“ThisisanewonecalledFromtheAshes,”hesaid,ashegrabbedhisacousticguitar,
snaggedastoolfromthesideofthestage.“It’snotfinishedyetsodon’tjudgetooharshly.”

Noneoftheotherguysplayedwithhim,whichmadehisperformancethatmuchmorepowerful.

Sawyer’svoicewasverydifferentfromtheonethatnormallysang.Hiswasgrittier.Itstillworkedbut
gaveallthesongsadifferentsoundthantheoneNix’ssmoothashoneyvoicedid.

Avelinehadn’tbeenlisteningtothewords,thetoneandtheemotioncomingoffofhimwasmore

thanenoughtoholdherattention.Theentirestadiummusthavefeltthesamewaybecausetheenergetic
crowdofminutesearlierhadslowedtohearwhathehadtosay.

Fromtheashesofthislife
Whatwillyoubecome?
Fromtheashesofthisworld
You’vegottoovercome.
Thetimeisright,
Theflamesarehigh,
Don'tletthischancegotowaste.

Sawyerreallywasagreatsinger.PeoplealwayscomparedhimtoNixbuthecouldjustaseasilybe

thefrontmanofthisband.Hell,hehadbeenforthepastfewmonths.

Prepareyourself,brother,
Torisefromtheashes.
Theonlywayoutistoburn.
Whenthesongended,Sawyerhunghishead.Inastadiumofthousands,youcouldhearapindrop.
“WasthatforNix?”someoneinthefrontyelled.
Sawyer’sheadliftedandasmallsmilegracedhisface.“EverythingIdoisforNix.”Helooked

overhisshouldertowheretherestofthebandstood.Jasonhadcomeoutfrombehindhisdrumkitto
standwithGreerandRoryasheplayed.SomethingcameoverSawyer’sfaceashelookedatthem.Itwas
angerbutalsoacceptance.

“Youknowwhat?”hesaidturningbacktothecrowd.“Fuckthissetlist.Yeah,Idon’twanttodoit.”
Aveline’seyeswentwideasshelookedfromGreertoSawyer.Theylookedjustasconfusedas

everyoneelse.“Sawyer,”Rorybeganbuthejustshookhisheadandstoodfromthestool.Shewasn’tsure
ifhewasabouttowalkoffstageorjusthaveaverypublicbreakdown.

Helaughed,whichshouldhavebeensettlingbutitwasn’t.“Let’shaveaNixcomebacktour.”
Aveline’seyesshottotheband.Theconfusiongavewaytosmiles.Theywereonboardwith

whateverSawyerwascookingup.Rorybelloweda“fuckyeah!”andtossedhisfistintheair.“We’re
game,buddy.”

Sawyerswunghisguitarontohisbackandgrabbedholdofthemicinonehandandthestandinthe

other.“Onenightonly,folks!Righthere,rightnow.We’replayingallofNix’sfavorites.”

Thecrowdbegantogetintotheabruptchangeofplans.Cheersandhollersof“WeloveyouNix,”

eruptedfromthefans.

Sawyer’swordsweresoftashespokeintothemic,hiseyesclosed,hisheartopenfortheworldto

see.“Whereeveryouare,Brother,knowthatwearetherewithyou.Don’tfeellikeyouneedtodothis
alonebecauseyouarenever,everalone.Iloveyou,”hesaidbreathlessanddroppedhishead.

Peoplebegantoclapforhim.Avelinejoinedin.HerheartachedforSawyerrightnow.
“Imissyou,”hisvoicecrackedbuthekeptgoing.“It’stimetocomehome,Phoenix.”

*****

TheyhadplayedHankWilliams,JohnCash,EricChurch,Journey,RedHotChiliPeppers.

BasicallyifitwasoneofhisfavoritesongsorremindedthemofNix,itwasplayed.TheirFrontof
House,Kelly,hadstoppedyellingatthemafterthethirdsong.Thesilenttreatmentwasalmostworsethan
theendlesscursing.Theyowedhim,bigtime.

Greerhadn’thadsomuchfunataconcertinyears.Itwasbasicallyajamsessionwithathousandof

theirclosestfriends.Andthefansateitup.SawyerhadbasicallyoutedthemtonightaboutNix.Theironly
approvedcommenttoanythingNixrelatedwas“nocomment.”Thelabelwasswingingitthathewasin
rehabandtheyweretryingtogivehimhisprivacy.Rumorsspread,ofcourse.Somepeopledidn’tbelieve
thelie.Andtonight,theyjustconfirmedit.

Atthemoment,noneofthemcared.Theywouldgetyelledoutlater,rightnowitwasaboutNix.
“ItwasNixwhostartedthiskiltthingafewyearsago,”Jasonsaidtostartoffhisstoryaboutthe

singer.Eachofthemhadtakenaturntellingthecrowdastoryabouttheman.Hisaddictionwasn’tallhe
was.Theywantedpeopletorememberthat.

Rorylaughed.“Oh,ho,ho,thebet.”
“Oh,yes,”Jasonsaidwithagrin.“Thebet.Atthetimewewereonlyalocalbandthatdidthe

circuitofbarsinAsheville.Becausewehadnothingbettertodo,wealwaystriedtomaketheshows
interesting.Foraseriesofshows,NixandIwouldbothwearthesamethingandthenhavethefansvote

onwhoworeitbest.Asweallknow,Nixisthebiggestsweettalkeroutthere.Beforetheshowhewould
gooutandschmoozeeverywomanthereandbuyeveryguyadrink.Sothenwhenitcametimeforthe
vote,theywouldallpickhim.Icaughtontohisgames,though.”

“Ittookyoutenshows,”SawyersaidstandingnexttoGreersoJasoncouldhavethestage.
“Shutityou!”JasonyelledpointinghisfingeratSawyer.“Anyway,itwasthelastnightofthebet

andItoldhimthatitwaswinnertakeall.Wecouldwearwhateverthehellwewantedtowin.”

“WewereatthisIrishPub.Nixworetheseskintight,blackleatherpants.Imeanhisasswas,”Jason

heldouthishandsinfrontofhimandtriedtoconveywithoutwordsjusthowgoodNix’sasshadlooked.
Thewomenwhistledandscreamed.“Look,I’mnotgaybutevenIdidadoubletakethatnight.Howcould
younot?Themanisfit.ButIknewIcouldwinifIjustdressedthepart.”HeVannaWhite’dhiskiltwith
hishand.Morescreamseruptedfromthecrowd.“Thankyou.”Hewinked.“SoNixwasshirtlessandall
coveredinleatherbutthenIcameoutinonlyakilt.Hisface,”Jasonlaughed.“Oh,heknewhehadlost.”

Andtheyhadneverheardtheendofit.Greerrememberedformonthsafterward,whenatthestartof

everyconcert,Jasonwouldputthatkiltbackon.ItpissedNixofftonoendtoseehislossflauntedathim
timeandtimeagain.

“Inhonorofthatnight,IthinkweneedtoplaysomethingfromDropkickMurphys,”Jasonlooked

backatthemseeingifthatwascoolwitheveryoneelse.

“Dude,Idon’thavemyaccordion,”Greersaid.
“Thatwon’twork.Umm.”Jasonhopedaroundalittleashethought.“Alright.Whatdoyouwantto

hear?”heaskedthecrowd.

Songswereyelledoutuntilitwasunintelligiblenoise.Afteraminute,Jasonhelduphishandto

stop.“IheardabunchofBeforeTooLong.ThenIthinkmaybewe’llkickitbackwithRiverNights.”
Fromthewings,hesawAvelinejumpupanddowninvictoryandthenblowJasonakiss.“Igotyougirl,”
hesaidaftergrabbingtheimaginarykissandwavingitatGreer.“Dude,yourgirllikesmemorethan
you.”

“Onlyinyourdreams.”
Nixwasn’ttherewiththemphysicallybuthewasthereinspirit.Greerswitchedouthisbassfora

banjoforRiverNights.BoththosesongswerewrittenbyNixandheusuallywasthebanjoplayerbut
Greercouldholdhisown.AlthoughSawyer’sroughsounddidn’tmatchNix’ssweetenedvocals,itwas
stillmagic.

Greerslippedthepicksontohisthumbandforefingers.Ashewaitedforeveryoneelsetoswitchout

ormakeanyadjustmentshesentoutaprayerforNix.

Whereeverhewastonight,Greerhopedthathecouldfeelthelovetheyhadforhim.Hehopedthat

thisconcertmadeitswaytoNix.

ChapterSix

“Thatwasunreal,”Avelinetoldtheguysastheywalkedacrosstheemptyparkinglottothebus.

Greerhadhisarmdrapedoverhershouldersandheldherhandlooselyinhisfingers.Hewassweatybut
inthatsupersexykindofwaythatmadewomenlicktheirlipswhileimaginingthemnaked.Therewere
easysmilesallaround.Itfeltliketheairhadbeencleansedfromtheearlierissueswiththeirmanager.

“Itwasgood.Feltgood,”Greeragreed.
“Itwaslikeoldtimes,backbefore…”Sawyerstarted.
Backbeforedrugsbecamethesixthbandmember.
JasonslappedSawyerontheshoulder.“Yeah,man.Hewaswithustonight.”
“SowhatkindofbribearewegoingtoofferKellyforputtingupwithus?”Roryasked.
Thesecurityguardswhohadbeenfollowingthemincasesomerabidfancameoutoftheshadows

droppedoffastheyreachedthebuses.Thecrewwasloadingupalltheequipment.Astheypassed
compliments,cheersandgoodjobswereyelledout.Itseemedeveryonewasridinghighfromtheconcert.

“Maybeanextraweekofvacationtime?I’veneverseenhimsomadthathestoppedtalking,”Greer

reachedthedoorfirstandopeneditforAveline.Shewalkedupthefewstairsexpectingtheguysto
followbutnoonedid.SheturnedaroundtoseewheretheywentandfoundGreerblockingtheway,
staringatherass.

Roryshovedhiminthebacktogethimmovingagain.
“Sorry,wasblindedthereforasecond.”
Avelinesmirked.Hewasgoodfortheego.
“Alright,let’sgetthisoverwith,”Sawyersighed.Theyhadaboutthirtyminutesbeforetheyleft.

Avelinewasstillampedupfromtheconcertbutshecouldtelltheguyswerereadytocrash.They
reluctantlygotintoasmallcircleandSawyerpulledoutfoursmallsticks,eachwithanumber.Around
theywentandpickedastickuntileachofthemhadanumber.Jasonwhoopedhavingpickednumberone.

“Yes!Finally,Inevergettheshowerfirst.”Hedidn’twaitaround.Thebathroomdoorwasshutand

lockedafewsecondslater.

“I’lltalktoKellytomorrow.Givehimtimetocooloff.”Sawyerwenttothefridgeforabottleof

water.Shesawhisstickhadathreeonit.Greerlaiddownonthecouch,alegandanarmhungoffthe
side.Hesighedinadeepexhaustion.Behindher,Rorywasclimbingintoatopbunkandhittingthepillow
withagroan.Lastweektheyhadallhungoutforhoursaftertheconcert,notoneyawninthebunch.But
tonight,theywereallabunchofdeadweight.

Sawyerwassippinghiswaterandwatchingher.Healonedidn’tlooklikehewasabouttocollapse

inexhaustion.

“Notasglamorousasyouexpected?”
“AmIthatobvious?”sheaskedgoingtostandbesidehim.
Hepoppedopenthefridgeandgrabbedherawater.“You’refine.Rory’sbeentryingtowritesome

newstuff.Hebarelysleepswheninspirationhitssohe’sbeendueforacrash.”Theguitaristinquestion
wasalreadysnoring.

“Greerspentthelastweekinagiantknot.He’sbeensoworriedthathemadeabadimpressionlast

weekend.Nowthatyou’rehere,he’sfinallyrelaxed.Plus,finalsarenextweeksohe’sbeentryingtoget
insomestudyingbetweenboutsofpacingandpouting.”

“Iheardthat,”Greermumbledfromthecouch.“Idon’tpout.”
Atthesoundofhisvoice,Aveline’sheartdidabigBADAMPinherchest.
Asifheheardit,Sawyersmirked.“Thankyouforcomingoutandputtinghimoutofhismisery.If

youhadn’tagreed,Ithinkhemighthaveflownouttoyouevenifitwasjusttosayhiforafewminutesand

thenflownback.”

“Hewouldn’thave-”
BythelookonSawyer’sface,hewouldhave.“Look,”hesaidloweringhisvoice.“Youareallhe

evertalksabout.Evenbeforelastweekend,wewouldhearabouthowAvagotanAonthispaperor
‘listentowhatAvasaidaboutthisbook.’Wewereworriedthatyouwere…”

“Acrazystalker?”shesupplied.
Heshookhishead.“No,butwewereworriedhewasbeingusedorcatfished.Heonlytolduslast

weekendthatyoudidn’tknowwhohereallywas.”

Theybothlookedoverathim.Hiseyeswereclosedbutshehadthefeelinghewaslistening.“I

don’tknowwhatyoumean?”Hervoicehadgottenabitofanedge.“He’sGreer,justGreer.Thesameguy
Italkedtodayinanddayout.”

Sawyerlaughed.“Kitty’sgotclaws.Good.You’llneedthemifyouareseriousabouthim.Greer

doesn’tdoserious.AslongasI’veknownhim,he’sbeenacasualdater.Nothinglongerthanamonthor
two.It’snotbecausehewasburnedinthepastoranyotherbullshit,it’sbecausehe’sholdingoutfor
someonespecial,someonereal.Toooftenwemeetthegirlswhoonlywantusforourfameormoney.It’s
hardtofindsomethingthatisgenuineinthislineofbusiness.”

AvelinetorehereyesawayfromGreertolookatSawyer.Hewaswatchingher,seeinghowshe

reacted.Whywerealltheguysgivingherrelationshipadvice?FirstitwasRorywiththelittletidbit
abouttheGreerandJasonbromanceandnowSawyer.Weretheytryingtowarnherorscareheroff?It
hadbeenaday.Oneday.Yes,theyhadchemistry,alotofchemistrybutshouldn’ttheyhavethechanceto
talkaboutthembeforehisfriendsdecidedwhattheywereforthem?

It’snotlikeshecoulddoseriousatthemomentanyway.Twojobs,schoolandbeingacaregiver

didn’tleavemuchtimeforromance.“Iappreciatewhateveritisyouaretryingtodoherebut,andImean
thisinthenicestwaypossible,youneedtobuttout.”Fromthecouch,Greersnickered.“Whateverheand
Iare,isbetweenus.Besides,Ihavenotimeinmylifeforserious.”

Theshowerturnedoffandthebathroomdooropened.Jasonwalkedoutwithatowelwrapped

aroundhiswaist.“Thatwasheavenly,”heannounced.

“Greer,you’reupman.”Sawyerpattedhershoulderandthenwalkedovertohisbunkandsatdown

totakeoffhisshoes.

Avelinefoundthatshewasnolongerinaverysocialmood.Herphonewasonthecountercharging.

SheunpluggeditanddecidedthatnowwouldbeafabuloustimetocallRobandcheckinathome.

Greerhadrolledoffthecouchandontohisfeet.Hecameovertoher,hiseyesheavywith

exhaustionandwrappedherinahug.Sheaccepteditbutsomethingfeltsouraboutit.Sawyerhadplanted
thatthere.Shelookedoverandfoundhimwatchingthem.

“Ignorethem,”Greerwhisperedinherear.SheduckedherheadsoSawyercouldn’tseehersmile.

“Wearetheonlyoneswhogettodecidewhatthisis.Theyareonlylookingoutformebutifyouhaven’t
noticed,Iamamanandcanmakemyownmanlyadultchoices.”

Oh,sheknewhewasaman.Shefeltthatevidenceagainstherearlier.
“Let’sjusthavefunthisweekendastwofriends,nothingmore.”
Well,shehopedtherewouldbemore.“Twofriendswhokiss?”
“Ofcourse!Kissingisveryfriendly,”heagreed.
Avelineturnedherheadsothathermouthwasahairbreadthawayfromhisneck.Sheinhaledthat

sweetscentofhismusk.Nothingboyishaboutthatsmell.“Dofriendsdoanythingelse?”shewhispered
lettingherlipsgrazehisskin.

Greerswallowed.“Somefriendsdo.”
“Bestfriends?”Avelineranherhandsdownhisbackandintohisbackpockets.
“Thebestest.”

Greercuppedherface,hislipsplantinglongbutlightkissesalonghertemple.
“IfyoutwoaregoingtocontinuetohugitoutovertherethenI’mgoingtogetashower,”Sawyer

saidfromhisbunk.

Greerturnedhisheadandnarrowedhiseyes.“Don’tyoudare.Ava,baby,”heaskedwithamuch

sweetervoicethantheoneheusedonsawyer.“Canwecontinuethisconversationlater?IfSawyergoes
inthereIwillhavenohotwater.”

Shekissedhisneckandlethimgo.Interruptionsandbadtimingseemedtobetheirthing.“Sure.I’m

goingtocrashsoonanyway.”

Hekissedherforeheadandtoldhergoodnightbeforeheadingtothebathroomforhisturninthe

shower.AvelinewatchedhimgoandwhenthedoorshutshelookedtoSawyer.

“Justbecarefulwithhim,”hetoldherandlaiddownonhisbunk.

*****

Babygirlyouneedtogotosleepandstopworrying.Alliswellhere.
Thelightfromherphoneilluminatedthesmallroom.Everyonehadgonetobedoveranhourago

andtheywerenowontheroad.Thedaywascatchingupwithherandatfirstshefoundithardtokeepher
eyesopenasshewaitedforRobtotextherback,butafternoresponsefortenminutes,shebecame
worried.Evenaftertwentyminutesofassurancesthatallwasfine,shestillcouldn’tfallasleep.

Iknow,Iknow.I’mgoing.Goodnight.
Shewasn’tbraveenoughtoturnitoffcompletely,becauseanythingcouldhappenandknowingthat

wouldkeepherawakeevenlonger.Shesettledforvibrateandputitinthebedsidedrawertohelpwith
thetemptation.Avelinejustneededonemorethingbeforeshecouldsleep.Itwasapromisesheused
often.“Ijustneedtousethebathroom,”or“Letmejustanswertheselastfewquestionsonchapterten,”
werecommonexcuses.Avelinehadtoworkhermindintoexhaustionforhertosleep.Andalthoughher
bodywasbeggingforrest,hermindwassharpandawake.

“Water,”shetoldherself.“Waterthensleep.”
Shehadonapairofcottonshortsandalarget-shirt.Itwasoneofthoseonesthatyougetfreefor

participatinginsomeevent,buttheyonlyordermen’sXLsothatitfitseverybody.Thisonewasafaded
tiedyedshirtwithaholeunderthearmfromsomeswimmingrallyherhighschoolhaddoneforcharity.
Whenshepacked,ithadbeenhectic.Avelinehadstartedwithherlargestsuitcaseburstingwithclothes.
Robhadtoldherthatitwasprobablyoverkill.Inafranticattempttonotlooklikethemostmaterialistic
andhighmaintenancegirlever,Avelinedumpedoutalltheclothesandpackedonlytheessentials.
Unfortunately,shewasn’tpayingattentiontodetailandgrabbedheruglysleepclothes.

Shealmostconvincedherselfthatsheshouldjuststayinbedbecauseoneoftheguysmightbe

awakeandthenthey’dseehercrappyshortsandholey,fadedshirt.Avelinewastryingtoupholdthis
notionthatshewasmuchcoolerthansheactuallywas.Forsomereasontheyalllikedher.Well,she
wasn’tsurewhatSawyerthoughtofher.Hewastryingtoprotectoneofthem,shejustwasn’tsurewhich
one.

Atthispoint,GreerandAvelinehadhungoutatotalofoneday.Thatshouldn’tresultina

conversationaboutseriousrelationshipsbutsomehowithad.AvelinereallylikedGreer,wasn’tthat
enoughforthetimebeing?

InspiteofSawyerandhisbigbrotherantics,Avelinedecidedtogetupandgetabottleofwater.If

theyjudgedheronhersleepingattire,thenfuckthem.AndifGreersawherandbecameviolently
unattachedtoherthenshewouldgetonthefirstplaneoutofthere.Shedidn’tneedthatbullshitinherlife
whenshealreadyhadenoughbullshittodealwith.

Thedooropenedsilentlyandshelookedout.Allthecurtainsweredrawnclosedaroundthebunks.

Somethinginherdeflated.Partofherhadbeenhopingmaybesomeoneelsewasawake,whichwas

stupid.Shehadseenhowtiredtheywerewhentheygotback.

Usingherphone’sflashlightfeatureshewalkeddowntheaisleofbedstotherefrigerator.Asoft

snorecamefromthebunkaboveGreer’s.ShepausedforasecondbutwhennosoundscamefromGreer’s
bed,shecontinuedon.Brandon,thedriver,wassingingquietlytohimselffromthelittlecabinupfront.
Herbottleofwaterhadbeenputinthefridge.Shegrabbedit,noteventhirstyanymore.

WhenAvelineturnedaround,someonewaswatchingher.Thecurtainshadbeenpulledbackand

Greerwasproppeduponhiselbow.Atinythrillwentthroughher.

Heputhisfingertohislipsandpointedtoherroom.
Avelinenodded.
Greerrolledoutofbed,theblanketsdroppingofftorevealaverybarechest,andhewalkedsoftly

backtothebedroom.Shewatchedforamomentbutnoheadspoppedoutoftheircurtainstoseewhatwas
goingon.Makingsureshehadherwaterandphone,Avelinequicklywalkedbacktoherroomandshutthe
door.

“Hey,”Greerwhispered.Hewassittingonherbed.Somethingaboutseeinghimwithbedheadand

somuchskinshowingwhileonhermessedupsheets,madeherbreathstickinherthroat.Thesleepy
smileonhisfacewasalmosttoomuch.Shehadtolookawayortakeoffherclothesandofferherselfup
tohimlikeoneofhisgroupies.

“What’swrong?”heasked,hisvoicegrufffromnottalking.
“Nothing.Justdidn’texpectanyoneelsetobeawake.”Herphonehadtimedoutandthelightturned

offtossingthemintodarkness.Shestayedput,waitingforhereyestoadjusttothelimitedlights.Aveline
blinkedtryingtospeedtheprocessalongwhenthepressureofGreer’sfingersfoundherwaist.

“I’vegotyou,”hesaid,hislipsagainsthertemple.“Comeon,let’sgetintobed.”Hewalkedherthe

fourstepstothebedandheldupthesheetsforhertocrawlunder.Shebusiedherselfwithputtingher
phoneandwaterawaywhilethebeddippedontheothersideandhisbodymovedcloser.

Theyhadbeenteasingeachotherallday.Kisses,touching,verbalacknowledgmentsofheat

betweenthem,eachmomentcamebacktoherinvividsightandsound.Ashesettledbackagainstthe
pillowsAvelinerolledover,herbreathcomingalmostasfastasthememories.Throughthedarkness,she
couldseehimsmile.Itwasn’tthelustfueledgrinshehadtastedearlier,butasleepysmirkonaguywho
wascontentwithwherehewas.

“Comehere,you.”Greerpulledhercloseandwrappedhisarmsaroundher.Shefoundhischest

madeaverynicepillow.“How’syourmom?”

Thequestion“DOESHEEXPECTSEX?”thathadbeenscreaminginhermindthelastfewminutes

shutuprealfast.Nomanwhowantedsexwouldbringupmominconversation.

Andnowshefeltlikeadope.
Nicegoinglibido.
Atleastshehadn’tplayedthepartofgroupiesandshedherclothesatfirstsight.
“She’sgood.Whyareyouawake?”
Hischestrumbledwithaquietlaughter.“Really?Youarefeetawayinanotherroomandyouwant

toknowwhyI’mawake?”

Sheslappedhisstomach.
Itslappedback.
Hotdamnthoseweresomeabs.
“Shutup.Ifyouwantedtoseemethenwhydidn’tyouknock?”
Becauseitwasalreadythere,Avelineletherhandrestonhisstomach.
“Iwasn’tsureifyouwereasleepornotuntilIheardyouwhisperingonthephone.Butyougotso

quietsofastIassumedyoufellasleep.”

Restingonhischestletherfeelthemadthumpingofhisheart.Whenshebrushedherfingersover

therimofhisbellybutton,itgotfaster.Avelinesmiled.Herveryownmooddetectorrightunderherhead.

“Andthatstoppedyoubecause?”
Greercapturedherexploringfingersandbroughtthemtohislips.“Becauseweareonatourbus

andasJasoninformsme,therearenosecretshere.I’mhornyasfuckrightnow-”

“You’rewelcome,”shebrokeinwithalaugh.
“Ohdon’tsoundsomellow,littlemiss.”Henippedatherfingers.Thefeelingshotstraightthrough

her.Greerturnedhisheadsohecouldwhisperinherear.Asthewarmthofhisbreathmetherskinshe
hadtoclosehereyesandholdinagroan.“I’mnottheonlyone,”hesaidkissingherneck.Shehummedin
approval.“OrdoIneedtogosearchingforevidence?”

Hecouldsearchheralldaylong…andnight.Ifheneededsomehelpshewouldevenpitchinand

aidhishandsintheirsearchtowardtheelasticwaistbandofhershorts.

“AsmuchasIfuckingwanttobeinyou,weneedtowait.”
Huh?“I’mconfused.”
Greertiltedherchinup.“Nosecrets,remember?Theguyscanbasicallyheareverythingwedoback

here.Idon’twantthemhearinghowyoucumonmytongueorthemoansyoumakeasIslidemycockinto
you.That’sallmine.”

Avelinedidn’tneedanyofthosethings,shewassoclosejustathiswords.Ifhesaidcockonemore

timeshemightloseit.

“So,wearegoingtowaituntiltomorrowwhenwehavearealroomandnoextraears.Thenwecan

spendthewholedayinbedforallIcare.Hell,Imightneedthatlongjusttotaketheedgeoff.”

“Yeah,ok,”shesaidinabreathywhisper.Heranafingeroverherlipsandquicklyreplaceditwith

hisown.Thekisswasquickbuthard.

“Now,tellmehonestly.Areyouhavingfun?”
Helaidbackagainstthepillows,lettingherrestherheadbackonhischestonceagain.Shehadto

takeaminutetopullalllustfilledthoughtsbackinsideandtuckthemawayforlater.Therewasnoneedto
workheruplikethatjusttotakeawayhertoy.

“Iam.Robwasright,IneededthisweekendmorethanIrealized.It’sbeentoolongsinceIhada

dayjustforme.”Hebegantodrawcirclesonherback.Itwaslesssexandmoresoothing.Shesighedand
settledin.“NoneofthisiswhatIexpectedbutit’sbeenreallygreatsofar.”

“IwishIwouldhavetoldyousooner,butitwasreallynicenothavingtobethecountrystar.It’s

funny,whenIwasyoungerallIwantedwastobethisguy.Thefame,themoney,themusicwasallI
dreamedofbutnowthatIhaveit,Icanappreciatewhateveryoneelsehas.Walkingoutinpublicbecomes
anovelty.It’slessglamorousandmoreannoying.Imean,yousawitwhenIpickedyouupattheairport.”

“Tobefairyoudidn’ttryveryhardtobeinconspicuous.Ahatandsunglasseswhenyoualways

wearahatandsunglassesisnotadisguise.Andthelimowasfunbutitcaughtattention.”

Hepausedhiscircles.“Yeah,you’reright.Ihadn’tthought.Ijustwantedtoseeyou.”
Avelinekissedtheskinwhereshelaid.“Noworries,Ilikedit.Thatwasmyfirstlimoride.”
“Really?”
“Yep.”
Thatmusthadfulfilledsomecavemaninstinctinhimbecausehepickedbackupwiththecircles.

“Whatelsehaven’tyoudone?”

“That’saloadedquestion,”shelaughed.
Hekissedherhead.“Inapurelyinnocentway,whatelsehaven’tyoudonethatyouwanttodo?

Wherehaven’tyouseen?”

“Uh,everywhere.”AvelinehadbeentothestatesneighboringNorthCarolinabutitdidn’tgomuch

furtherthanthat.“I’minsanelyjealousthatyougettotravelthecountryandseeallthereistooffer.”

“It’snotreallylikethat.Iseethestadiumsandtheradiostations,occasionallyalandmarkoran

attractionbutmostlyit’sarrive,unpack,soundcheck,concert,backstagepublicityandthenpackupand
weareontothenextplace.Thebiggerweget,themorelibertieswecantakeontourbutuntilnow,we
haven’twantedtorocktheboattoomuchwithdemandsandshit.”

Therewassomethingelsetothatstatementandshehadaguessatit.“AndbecauseofNix.”
Hesighed.“Yeah,andNix.Hecausedalotoftroubleearlyon.Ithinkthelabelisgladhepulleda

poof.Nowtheydon’thavetodealwithhisbullshit.”

“Butit’shardonyouguys.Imean,Sawyerlookslikehe’sbreakinginhalf.”
“Heis.Nixandhimwereclose.Closerthanmybrother,Jamie,andIeverwere.Andwe’retwins,”

hesaidinadrylaugh.“Askme,Ithinkthat‘twinthing’isabunchofbullshit.”

Avelinerememberedhimmentioningonceabouthisbrother.Itwasprettyobvioushedidn’tlikehis

brotheranddidn’twanttotalkabouthim.“He’sinprison,right?”

Henodded.“Yep.He’sgettingoutnextweek.I’msureI’llgetacallneedingmoneyorsomeshit.”
“Andyou’llhelphim,”shesaidtryingnottothinkhispoutwascutebutitreallywas.Shekissedhis

chin.“Youwouldn’tletfamilystruggleeveniftheydeservedit.”

Hecaressedherface,losingthepoutandlookingmuchmoreloving.“Youthinkyouknowmeso

well.”

“Ido.”
“Mmmhmmm,”hemumbledandcuddledhercloser.
Aveline’smindfinallyfeltatpeaceenoughtodriftoff.Greerdidn’tsayanythingelseandshefelt

hishandgolaxonherback.Ittookmaybefiveminutesforthesteadythumpofhisheartandthegentle
swayofthebustolullhertosleep.

ChapterSeven

Eventhoughtheyhadalljustwokenup,everyonelookedliketheywerereadyforbedontheride

overtothehotel.Monthsoftouring,withveryfewbreaks,wastakingitstollonthem.Theyhadfourdays
offcomingupinthreeweeks.Asmuchastheyalllovedtouring,theylovedgoinghomejustasmuch.

JasonandSawyerhadtobedrugfromtheirbunksinordertogocheckinatthehotel.Roryhad

wokenupathisnormal,ungodlyhourofseven-thirtyandthenproceededtodrinkallofthecoffeethey
hadleft.Theywerealllookingforwardtothemomenttheycouldfallontoarealmattressandnotwakeup
justbecauseRorywasboredandawake.

Thebushadarrivedatsomepointintheearlyhours.Greerhadn’tnoticedsincehewasdeadtothe

worldcuddledaroundAveline.Normallyhewasn’toneforsleepingthroughthenightwithawoman.He
wouldalwaysgethot,thenbecomeuncomfortableandthewaytheywantedtolaywithhim,madehisarm
fallasleep.Allaround,itwasamiserableexperience.ButnothavingAvainhisarmsallnight,whenshe
wasrightthere,wasalsonotanoption.

“Thankfuck,”Jasonsaidastheypulledoutfrontofthehotel.“Wakemewhenit’stimetogoon.”
“Hatetoburstthatbubbleofyoursbutweneedtogodosoundcheck.”Sawyerhadhisheadleaned

backandhiseyesclosed.Upuntilhespoke,Greerhadassumedhefellbackasleep.

“What?No.MakeRorydoit.Orbetteryet,thechattylovebirdsoverthere.”JasonglaredatGreer

andAveline.“Talkingtilltwoa.m.,really?”

“Becauseyoufuckingsomegirlisanydifferent?AtleastAvawasn’tscreaming‘Jason,ohfuckme,

Jason.Yeah,domeBaby.Yesssssss!’”Greerletoutaveryfakeorgasmicscream.

“Don’tbejealous,”Jasonsaidwithagrin.“Andshecouldbe.”HewiggledhiseyebrowsatAva,

wholaughedathim.

Jealousofthat?Hellno.Hepreferredtherealthing.Greerdidn’tneedagirlstrokinghisegowitha

fakeorgasm.“Nosecretsonabus,remember,”hesaidintoherhairwhensheshothimasurprisedlook.

“Iguessso,”shemurmuredback.
SawyerhadcrackedasmileatGreer’srenditionofagroupiebutotherwisehadstayedsilent.“They

havetogobecharismaticontheradio.”

Jasongrinned.“Ohright.Youtwokidshavefun.Soundcheckisn’tforwhat?Anhour?”
Sawyeropenedthedoorandcrawledout.“Yeah,sowehavetimeforashortnap.”
“Fuckyes.”
Greerreallywishedthathehadaskedtoswitchwithsomeone.AtleastatsoundcheckAveline

couldseethebehindthescenescrapbutaradiointerviewwasboring.Samequestions,same“Soexcited
tobehere,”answers.Itwastimeslikethishewishedhehadanormaljobsohecouldcalloffsickand
spendthedayinbed…withher.

“Cheerup,Greer.”Roryslappedhisshoulderaftergettingoutofthecar.“Atleastyouhavemeto

interviewwith.”

Yeah,great.Roryalwaysendeduptellingembarrassingstoriesaboutwhoeverhewaswith.
“WhatshouldIbedoingwhileyou’reatyourinterview?”Avaasked.“ShouldIstayhereorgowith

JasonandSawyer?”

Hehadn’tthoughtthatshewouldn’twanttocomewithbutwhywouldshe?Ifhewasgivingherthe

concertexperiencethatshouldincludesoundcheck,notaradiointerview.Thethoughtofnothavingher
besidehimturnedhisstomach.Greerhadgottenusedtohavingherhandinhisorherbodynestledin
besidehim.

GreerhungbackwithAvelinewhileSawyerstartedtocheckthemin.“Eitherofthoseisfine,if

that’swhatyouwanttodo.”

Shegavehimapolitesmile,theonethatyouusedonrelativesatChristmaswhen,forthethirdyear

running,theygotyouthesameminicrockpot.“I’mfinetodowhatever.”Itwasameekanswer.There
wassomethingshepreferredtodo.Hecouldhearitinhervoiceandthewayhereyesdartedfromhis.

“Butwhatdoyouwanttodo?”
Shebitherlipassheconsideredhisquestion.“Iwanttogowithyou.”
Wellthatwasamightyfineanswer.Greerranhisfingerdownherjawandtiltedherchinup.“Then

that’swhereyou’llbe.”Hekissedheronce,slowandlazy,asiftheywerestillinbedwithnoobligations
waitingforthem.Hereyesopenedwiththepleasureofahappywoman.

“YoRomeo!”Roryyelledacrossthefoyer.“Wegotyouaseparateroomfromthesuitesoyoutwo

can-”

SawyerslappedahandoverRory’smouth.
Avelinejoltedbackatthesuddenandboisterousintrusionintotheirotherwiseperfectmoment.

Greerwouldn’tlethermove.Hekeptsmilingather,strokingthesoftskinofhercheekevenashereyes
wentwideattheechoofRory’swords.

“Appreciateit,”Greeryelledback.
Sheburiedherredfaceinhischest.“Ihateyouboth,”shegrumbledintohisrumblingchest.Greer

couldn’tcontainthelaughteratthesightofherpinkears.

*****

“Sowe’rebackwithRoryFreemanandGreerMcQueenofRustedandReckless.Didthosepictures

uploadedtoTwitteryet?Yeah,awesome.Incaseyoumissedit.Rorytookoverourreceptiondeskand
phonelinelasthourandcausedquiteacommotionwhenLukeBryancalledinforaphoneinterviewwith
oursisterstation.”

“Hey,hestillowesmetwentybucksfromapokergamelastMarch,”Rorysaidgrinning.
“Itisneverboringwhenyouboysstopby,”TheDJ,Moose,saidinalaugh.
Avelinewasstandingatthebackoftheroom,grinningasRorymadeafoolofhimself.Hewaslike

apuppy,evenwhenheshredsabrandnewtwenty-eightpackoftoiletpaper,thatyoujustbought,into
hundredsofthousandsoftinypiecesallthroughthehouse,youjustcan’tstaymadathimwhenhewags
histailandtiltshishead.

Thiswasanotheroneofthosefirstsforher.Avelinehadneverbeeninaradiostationbefore.Greer

andRorylookedathomehere.Theyevenknewrightwherethebreakroomwasforcoffee.Shejust
trailedbehindthem,takingeverythingin.

“Moose,youknowwelovecominghere,”Greerchimedin.“SaltLakeCityfansareamazingand

wealwaysleaveheredrunkoffourasses.”

“That’swhatweliketohear!”Moosefithisnamebutnothisvoice.IfAvelineweretocloseher

eyesandenvisionabodytogowiththesmoothyetslightlynasallyvoicethatwasMoose,shewouldsee
ayoungermanofaverageheightandweight.HewouldwearglassesandownedoneofeverycolorV-
neckshirtfromTarget.WhatAvelineactuallysawwasaheavyset,baldingmanwhohadeyebrowsthat
wereliketwofurryredcaterpillars.

“Greer,Ihavetoaskyousomething.”MoosebeganflickinghiseyesovertowhereAvelinestoodin

thecorner.“IsthatUniversityGirlthatyoubroughtwithyoutoday?”

WhileAvelinewasbusychoking,Greerlaughedeasilyintothemic.“Thatsureis.”
“HoHoh!Iloveit.Comeonup,Sweets’.Sayhitothelisteners.”
Greerreachedahandoutforherandshetookitasshecameovertothemic.“Hi.”
MoosepickeduphisphoneandsnappedapictureofGreer,Roryandher.“She’ssocute,”hesaid

toGreer.“Justthissweetlittlepackageofadorable.Evenhervoiceiscute.Isawthepicturesfromlast
weekendandtherumormillhasbeengoingwild,whichI’msureyouknow.”

Greernodded,RorysnickeredandAvelineletoutaveryflattering“Huh?”
Moosethankfullyignoredit.“Youhavetotellusallaboutthisbuddingromance.It'sthelovestory

everygirlwantstobeapartof.”

“L-lovestory?”shechokedout.AvelinelookedtoGreerasshelaughedawkwardly.Helookedto

beenjoyingherembarrassment.“Haha.It’snotal-lovestory,Moose.”Itwasmoreofa“Ijustwanttobe
nakedwithhimstory,andmaybelaterondownthelinehavehisbabiesstory.”Butlove?Nah.

“Isthatso?”Moosesaid,clearlynobelievingawordshesaid.“IseeGreerisneitheragreeingnor

denyingit.”

Greerleanedintothemicandveryclearlysaid,“nocomment.”
Avelinegapedathim.Nocomment.Really?Shewasmakingafoolofherselfrightnowandallhe

hadtosaywasnocomment.

“Itlooksliketroubleinparadise,Moose,”Rorysaidbuttingin.“Aveline,whenyouaredone

slummingitwiththisbassist,letmeknow.”

Shewascloseenoughsosheslappedhimupsidethehead.
TheroomeruptedinlaughterandRory’s“Ouch,”wasdrownedout.
“Willyoubeattheconcerttonight,UniversityGirl?”
“Hellyeahshewillbe,”Rorycutinbeforeshecouldanswer.“She’llberightbackstagewhere

Greercanmakegooglyeyesather.SorrySaltLake,lookslikeyouallhavetoshareGreertonightwith
Aveline.”

ItwasprobablybecauseGreerhadbeenholdingherhandthewholetimeandhadkissedthebackof

herneckjustthen,buttheshockofbeingpulledintotheinterviewwasbeginningtowearoff.Shefoundit
waseasiertotalkwhenshethoughtitwasjustthefourofthemintheroomandnotthousandsoflisteners
ontheirradios.AvelineturnedherheadassheleanedintothemicandlookedstraightatRory.“Ihateto
breakittoyouSaltLake,butIdon’tshare.”

*****

ShewasuponstagesittingatJason’sdrumkitasheexplainedtoherthebasicsofhowtoplaythe

drums.ThatwastheoneinstrumentGreerneverlikedtoplay.Givehimsomethingwithstringsandhe
wasgoodtogobuthandhimsticksandhewasclueless.Jasonhadherhandsovertopofhers,whichheld
thesticksandmovedherarmswildlyaroundasheplayedapartofWhiskeyO'clock.

Greersmiledashewatchedherlaugh.Hesatintheseats,afewrowsbackandenjoyedtheshow.
“Jasonlovesher,”Sawyersaidashetooktheseatbesidehim.
“Yeah.”Hisfrienddidloveher,forhim.Avatoldhimearlierthatshethoughttheir“bromance”was

cute.SomeonehadbeentalkingtoRory,hethought.“Yougoingtotryandscareheroffagain?”

Sawyerlookeddownathisgocupofcoffeeandgrimaced.“Thatwasn’tmyintention.”
Greerknewthatbuthestillhadtogivehimhell.“Iknow.YouarejustaMommaBearprotectingher

cubs.Can’tfaultyouforhavingmyback.”Unfortunately,Sawyerhadmadesomedecentpointsthe
previousnightwhichledtoafewdiscoveries.Avelinewasn’tlookingforanythingserious.Hehadn’t
beeneither,untilhehadfinallymetAveline.

Seriouswassosevereofaword.Whathewantedwasn’tjustaweekendofsexandthengoontheir

merrywaybuthewasn’tlookingformarriageeither.GreerjustwantedtohaveAvainhislifemorethan
whatshehadbeen.Hewantedherathisshowsandinhisbed.Hewantedtosharekissesandsmileswith
her.Gotodinnerandcatchaconcerteverynowandthen.Hewantedtostudyanddiscussbookstogether.
Seriousdidn’tdescribewhatthatwas.

GreerwantedtobehappywithAveline.
“Whatareyouwantingoutofthis?”SawyeraskednoddingtoAvelineonstage.
Fuckingmindreader,thatone.“Notsureyet.Morethanaweekendfuck.”

Henodded,understanding.“Ilikeher.Ithinkshe’sgoodforyou.”
“WellsinceIhaveyourapprovalthenIguessI’llkeepseeingher.”Asshole.“SoIfoundoutthat

Jamieisreleasednextweek.Momis‘cautiouslyoptimistic’thistime.”Heunfoldedhisarmssohecould
airquoteit.“BunchofbullshitandItoldherasmuch.Healwayscomesoutmorefuckedupthanwhenhe
goesin.”

“Youneedtokeepyourdistancefromhim,”Sawyerwarned.TheguywasnotaJamiefan,noneof

themwere.Hisbrotherwasablackholeanddrugeveryonedownwithhimintowhatevershithewaspart
ofatthetime.Plus,itwasJamiewhogotNixstartedonheroine.“Ifhecalls,yousaynotowhateverhe
asks.”

“Yeah,Iknow.”Hedid,buthealwaysendedupcavingforhistwinbrother.
Sawyerdidn’tlooklikehebelievedhim.“Givemethephonenexttime,I’llhaveitsohenevercalls

again.”

SawyerhatedJamie,afterwhathegotNixinto,theyallhatedhimalittlebit.Hismom,however,

wasabigsoftyforhistwin.Everytimehewenttojailshewouldgrowabackboneandsayshewasdone
withhimbutbythetimehissentencewasserved,shewaswashinghissheetsandpreparinghisfavorite
mealforhishomecoming.Greercouldn’tblameherentirelyforherskewedviewofhisbrother.Jamie
couldplayherlikeafiddle.Hehidmostofhiscrapfromherandcouldsweettalkhimselfoutofmost
anything.TheirdadbarelyspoketoJamiewhenhewashome.Glaresandgruntingwerethebesthewould
get.DadsawthroughthebullshitjustasGreerdid,theyjusthadyettoconvincehismomofsuchyet.

“Thanksman.I’lltellyouifanythingcomesofit.”
“When,”hesaidstoically.“Youknowhe’llcall.It’sjustamatterofwhen.”
Yeah,hedidandhewould.Jamiealwayshithimupformoney.
Onstage,AvelinewasgigglinglikemadasJasonwavedherarmsaroundandmademonkeynoises.

SawyerstoodandleftGreertohisshow.He’dcallhismomlaterandtellhernottogiveJamiehisnew
number.He’dgetitanyway,healwaysdid,butmaybeGreercouldbuysometimeatleast.

“Greer!”Kellyyelledfrombehindhispanel.“Getyourassupthere.”
ApparentlyJasonwasdoneandGreerwasup.JasondippedlowinabowoverAveline’s

outstretchedhandandthankedherforhelpinghim.Ashewalkedoffstage,hegaveGreertwothumbsup.
“Iwarmedherupforyou.”Greersalutedhimwithhismiddlefinger.

AvelinesmiledasGreermadehiswaytothestage.Maybehecouldshowherhowtoplaythebass?

Standbehindherandleadherfingersalongthestrings.Whisperinstructionandpraiseinherear.Nipsto
herthroatwhenshemessedupandkisseswhenshediditright.

Hell,maybeJasonwasontosomethingwiththishandsonteachingthing.

ChapterEight

Avelinewasdrunkontheenergyfromtheconcert.Shedancedandswayedfrombackstagetothe

car.Greerhadbarelytakenhiseyesoffofherthewholenight.Shewasacountryboy’swetdreamina
shortlittledresswithaskirtthatflewoutwhenshetwirledandagoodsetofbrownboots.Nothingfancy
there,justwell-wornleather.Shewaslookingfine,toofine.Sofinethathiswordsdriedupinhismouth
whenhesawher.

Partofhimhadwantedtohideherawayforonlyhimtoenjoybutthenhethoughtaboutthejealous

lookshe’dgetfromeveryone.Yeah,shewaswithhim.

Damn,inthatdress,hewaswithher.
Buttheyhadsharedenoughoftheirtime.Theshowended.Theguyssplitways.Greerledherfrom

thestagewithaheatinhiseyethatneededtobequenched.Atsomepointshemusthavecaughthismood
becauseshewentfromhappyconcertgoertohandsuphisshirt,nailsonhisskin,lipsathisneck.

Damnhimfornotgettingalimo.Greerwantedtotouch,wantedtotastebuthishandswerebusy

steeringthecartothehotel.

“OkSweetheart,youneedtostop.It’snotfair.”
Fuckthemforpickingahotelontheothersideofthecityfromthestadium.
“Thisispayback,”shewhisperedinhisear.Hernoserunningupthecolumnofhisneck.
“Forwhat?”Goddammit!Whywashehittingeverygreenlight?Anyothertimeanditwouldbered,

red,red.Butnottonight!Hellno.Thepowersthatbewanttowatchhimsquirmtonight.Tensecondsata
redlightcouldgivehimtensecondsoftouchingandkissinguponthissexyassinAveline.

“Forwhateveryouhaveplannedlater.IknowI’mgoingtobebeggingyoutostopatsomepoint,and

youwon’t,sothisispre-payback.”

Fuuuuck.Hemightcomerightthenandthere.JustcallhimMr.CreamJeans.
Shewasleaningoverthemiddleconsolesuckinghisear.Notjustsucking,suckingwassuchan

inferiorwordforwhatAveline’smouthwasdoing.Thewayhertonguetracedtheedgeofhisearandthe
nipofherteethonthelobewasanepiphanyofsorts.

Thiswomanmuststayinhislife.
Also.
Theyneededtofindabed.Now.
“Youguyswerereallygoodtonight.”Avelinetuggedonhisshirtuntilshefoundskinandranher

handsoverhisstomach.

“Thanks,”hesaidinhuskybreath.
“Howfararewefromthehotel?”Herfingersdippedbeneaththewaistbandofhisjeansandran

fromhiptohip.

Hehadtothinkrealhardwhetherstopsignsactuallymeanthehadtostoporifitwasamere

suggestion.

“Greer?”
“Hmm?”heasked,lookingatherandalmostunabletolookaway.Aveline’scheekswereflushed

andshehadthisfuckmelookinhereyethatbeggedtobeobeyed.Hewantedtoobeythatlookifitmeant
herfingerswoulddiplower.

Carsneededtocomewithacautionlabel,“Donotoperatewhileintoxicatedonabeautiful

woman.”

“Howmuchlonger?”Hefollowedherswollenlipswithhiseyes.Staringlikeapubescentteenage

withhisfirstboner.

Greerclearedhisthroat.“Tenminutes.”

Thathandstartedmovingbackandforthunderhisjeansagain.“That’senoughtime,”sheinformed

himwithasmile.

Time?Timeforwhat?
Herdelicatefingersstoppedatthebuttonandflippeditopen.
“Oh,no.Nonono.Ava,youdon’thaveto…justafewmoreminutesandthen…ohfuck.”
Shereachedinhisboxersandtouchedhiscock.Nohesitation,nothingtentative,justfullhandto

cockcontact.

Starsmighthaveflashedbeforehiseyes.Ormaybethatwastheflashofthestreetcameraasheran

theredlight.

Shepulledhimfreeofhisjeansandranherhandupanddownhislength.Thesmileonherfaceas

shetookinthesightofhimwouldcomebacktohimtimeandtimeagaininthefuture.Thewaysshe
suckedinthecornerofhermouthandbit.Thewayhereyesflickedupathimtoseeifhewasrightthere
withher.Thewayshelickedherlipsandthen…

Ohgod.
Shewasn’t.
Nofuckingway.
“I’vealwayswantedtotrythis,”shesaid,herwarmbreathhittingtheheadofhiscock.
“Oh,fuckingA,”hethoughtwhenAveline’smouthengulfedhim.
Roadhead.Hewasgettingroadhead.

*****

ThesinglegroanoftortureddelightthatcamefromGreerasAvelinedippedherheadandcovered

hiscockwithhermouthwasdivine.Itwasalmostasgoodashislookofuttersurprisewhenshestartedto
unbuttonhisjeansorthequietlittle,“Ohfuck,”hekeptmoaningeverysooften.Everytimeshetookallof
himdownherthroathisthighswouldtenseandthecarwouldjerk.Andeverytime,itmadehersmile.

Thepowershehadoverhimrightnowwasintoxicating.
“Ohfuck.Fuckfuckfuck,”hemurmuredassheranhertonguefromhisballstojustunderneaththe

tipofhiscock.Avelinesuckedhimwholeagainwithaloud“Mmmmmmm,”andbobbedherheadasthe
firmlengthofhimbecameevenharder.

“Yes.Herewego,”hesaidrightbeforeturningabruptlyoffthestreet.Avelinebumpedherheadinto

thesteeringwheel.Whenthecarcametoastopsheliftedherheadtoseewhathadhappened.Theywere
ina…wherewerethey?

“Thisiswilldo,”hesaidturningofftheignition.
“Doforwhat?”Thesuddenchangeinatmospherethrewher.
“This.”
Shebarelyhadtimetocatchthewickedlittlegrinhehadonbeforehishandsfoundherwaistand

pulledheracrossthecarintohislap.

“Oh,IthinkIcangetbehindthis.”Orontop,asitwas.Avelinethreadedherhandsthroughhishair

andpulledhisfacecloser.Theirlipsmetinaclashofdeliriouslust.Daysofendlessteasing,heavy
flirtingandanightstretchedupagainsthimhaddrivenhermad.SincewakingnexttoGreer,ashecupped
onehandoverherbreastandtheothernestledinbetweenherlegs,Avelinehadbeeninaperpetualstate
ofneed.Everytouchkeptheronedge.Everykissbroughtherhigher.

Whenhewasonstage,shesworethatshehadneverseenanythingsexierinherentirelife.Aveline

hadneverbeenonetolustoverthemusician.Ifshefoundsomeoneattractive,thenshefoundthem
attractive.Playingasongwouldn’thelporhurttheirimage.ButGreerwassomethingdifferent,entirely.
Whenhegotintoasongandmovedwiththemusic,youcouldfeelasmuchasseehispassionforwhathe
didandthatwassexyashell.

“Wherearewe?”sheaskedbetweenkisses.
“Doesitmatter?”
Hehadapoint.
Hishandshadlifteduptheskirtonherdresssothathecouldrunhispalmsupherthighsandcupher

ass.Thankgodshewaswearingtheonlysexypairofpantiesshehadwithher.Withatug,hepulledher
downandontohiscock.Avelineletherheaddropbackandahappysighleaveherlips.

Ohhell,shewantedonthat.Shewantedtopushasideherpantiesandsinkdownontohim,one

deliriouslyslowinchatatime.

Foreplayismeanttobetorturous.It’smeanttodepriveyouofwhatyoureallywantsowhenyouget

it,it’sthatmuchsweeter…andhotterandsweatierand…

Oh,god.
So,asmuchasshewantedtotakehim,shewouldn’t.Theybothneededtosufferabitmore.
Hisshirtcameoff.Shemighthavebeenabitforcefulinhersilentdemandtotakeitoffbecause

Greer’shandtangledinherhairandpulledherheadtotheside,exposingherneck.Hetookhistime
runninghismouthdownthelengthofherneck.Asoftmoancamefromherasthoselipsmovedfromher
necktohershoulder.Heslidthestrapofherdressdownthecurveofherarmandthenfollowedthetrail
withkissafterkiss.

Onaparticularsensitivespothebitherandherwholebodyjumpedinsensations.Thehandholding

herhairtightenedasshetriedtomove.Shewantedtokisshim.Allthatskinshejustuncoveredandshe
didn’tevengetachancetotaste.

“Greer,Iwant…”
“Quidproquo,Ava,”hesaidagainstherskinlikehehadn’tevenheardher.“Mychestforyours.”
Theotherstrapofherdresswaspushedoffhershoulder.Greerletgoofherhairsohecouldrunhis

fingersalongthelineofherdress,pushingthenecklinedowntoalmosthernipples.Bythetimehehad
gottenfromonebreasttotheother,shewaspanting.Herhipshadbeguntomoveontheirownvolitionand
wererockingagainstthecockthatwasstrainingforherpussy.

Avelineslippedherarmsfromthetopofthedressandletitpoolaroundherwaist.Greer’smouth

wasonherevenbeforeshewasfinishedpushingdownhertop.Avelinecradledhisheadtoherbreast
whilerockingharderonhiscock.Theyneededtohaveaveryrealconversationsoonaboutacondomor
knowndiseasesbecausethelongerheflickedandtracedhernipplewithhistonguethehardershewas
goingtogrindagainsthim.

“Iloveyournipples,”hesaidpullingbacktoadmirethedeeprosyredhehadjustsuckled.“They

areadorableandtiny.Theymakeyouralreadylusciousbreastslooksomuchlarger.”Heranhisthumb
overtopofthepuckeredflesh.

“Can’tsayI’veeverbeentoldtheywereadorablebutthanksallthesame.”
Hesmiledandkissedherquickbeforelookingattheothernipplelikehewasabouttofeast.
“Greer,wait.”
Hestopped.
Like,everything.
Shemayhavewhimperedeversoslightly.
“No…not…”shegroaned.Shewantedtoyellathimfortakinghishandsoffherbuthowcouldshe

whenhewaspreparedtostopeverythingifshewantedto.Suchagentleman.Avelinewouldadmirethat
qualitylater.“IhaveanIUDandI’mclean.”

Alookofpurehorrorcameoverhim.Avelinerecoiled.Sherepeatedthewordsinherheadbut

nothingwarrantedthatlook.

“I…shit…Thecondomsareatthehotel.Ihadn’tthought…thiswasjustsospontaneousand…I’m

cleantoo.Igotcheckedlastweek.”

Hewasbabbling.Itwasadorable.Thesilly,stupidmanwasthinkingwiththewronghead.Butshe

hadnoroomtojudgesinceshewasthinkingwiththatheadaswell.

AshestumbledoverhiswordsAvelinenodded,listening,butshealsoshiftedherhipsandreached

behindhertomoveasideherpanties.“Uhhuh.That’sgood.Metoo,”shesaidascontinuedonwithtalkof
alwaysbeingsafeandusingacondom.Whenshehadherhipsrightovertopofhimsheloweredherbody
untilthetipteasedherentrance.

Thatshuthimup.
“Good?”sheasked.
Heswallowedandplacedahandonthenapeofherneckpullingherintohiskiss.“Ohyeah,I’m

good.”

Shetookhimall,atonce,tothehilt.Bothofthemmoanedinsharedpleasure.Hefilledherjust

right.Therewasnopain,nodiscomfortassheadjustedtohissize.Hetuggeduponherassgettingherto
moveandtogethertheyfoundarhythmthattookthemsoaring.

Avelinegrippedtheseatbehindhisheadandrodehim.Therewasnoconcernforhispleasure,she

knewhewasrighttherewithher,sosheclaimedherown.Sheleanedforward,pushingherbreastsinhis
faceasshechangedtheangletohitright…ohyeah,rightthere.

“FuckAva,youfeel…”
“Iknow.Youtoo.”Sheopenedhereyestolookathim.Hiseyesseemedlargerthisclose.Hewas

openandvulnerableasheallowedhertolookinsideofhim.Wasshedoingthesamething?Washe
mesmerizedbywhathesaw?Theconnectionthathadcreatedthefriendshipandkindledthelustwas
continuallybuilding.Witheachrollofherhipsandtugofhishands,whatevertheyshared,was
strengthening.

Itwasalmosttoomuch.Thehighertheyclimbed,themoretheysawofeachother,thestrongerthe

linkbecame.Avelinewantedtolookaway,wantedtohideevenjustasmallcornerofhersoulfromhim
butcouldn’t.Heownedherandshehim.

Theorgasmbuiltandcamerapidly.Sheallbutstoppedmovingashermusclesseizedandtheclimax

thatshehadbeensogreedilyworkingtowards,flowedthroughher.Ifitweren’tforGreer’scontinued
pullonherhips,shewouldhavefrozenwithastrangledmoanonherlipsandcollapsedontopofhim.

Insteadshejustfellonhim.
Hekepthermoving,niceandslowassherecovered.
“Youarebeautiful,”Greersaidkissingtheclosestpieceofskin,hershoulder.
Avelinelookasecondandthensatup.Shepushedasweatystrandofhairbehindherearand

smiled.“Yourturn.”

Helaughed.“Hotdamn!”
Shewantedtobringhimhardandfast.Withaquicklegadjustmentshegotabetterfootholdand

couldliftherhipsandbringthemthunderingdownonhim.Greergroaned,soshediditagain.Andagain.
Andagain.Eachliftofherhipsbroughthimjusttothebrinkofleavingherandthenshefelldownupon
him,theirbodiesclappingtogether,thecarrockingslightly.Heheldherassandhelpedsmooththe
movement.

Whenhishandsbegantostiffenandhiseyesflutteredclosed,Avelinechangedthemovementand

circledherhips.

Hecame,pullingherassdownandholdingherinplaceasherockedhishipsintoher.Fillingher.

Shekissedhisfaceashedid.Lightwhispersofherlipscrossedhisover-sensitiveskin,lips,andjaw.

Itwasquietastheyrecovered.Thelustthatoncecontrolledthemnowebbingaway,satedforthe

moment.Hekepthiseyesclosedbutpulledherdownintohischestandheldherthere.Stillconnected.

“Youalive?”heasked,hisvoicedrylikegravel.
Avelinekissedhischest.“Yes.You?”

“Barely.”
Hewassofteninginsideherbutshedidn’twanttomove,notyet.
“Wherearewe?”sheasked.Avelineusedherhandtowipethefogoffthewindow.“TacoBarn.”
Theshackthathadoncebeenatacorestaurantwasboardedupandvandalized.Withanamelike

TacoBarnshewasn’tsurprisedtherestaurantdidn’tsurvive.Theywereparkedbehindthesmall
building,unseenfromtheroad.

“ItwasthebestIcoulddo.Youareluckyweevengothere,”hesaid.Greer’sbreathingwas

slowingdownandhehadbeguntorubhishandsoftlybackandforthonherback.Itwasnice,wouldbe
evenniceriftheywereinabedhavingthispostcoitusmomentbutasitwas,theywereinacarandher
legswerebeginningtohurt.

“MayIsuggestsomething?”Avelineliftedherheadfromhischest.“Whydon’tweheadbacktothe

hotel,getintheobscenelylargeshowerandthentakethistobed.”

Hiseyeshadgonesoftashelookedather.Greerfoundherhandandbroughtherfingerstohislips.

Thewayhetouchedhermadeherfeelcherished.Itwasfrighteningandexciting.Avelinefoundthatthe
excitementoutweighedthefear.

“Thatsoundsperfect.”

ChapterNine

Greerwasbasicallydeadtotheworld.Hedidn’twanttomoveatallorpossiblyeveragain.He

wasnaked,Avelinewasnaked,thebedwascomfortableandroomservicewasonlyaphonecallaway.
Whatcouldmorecouldhewant?

SeeingthenakedandsleepingAvelinemightbenice.
Goingagainsthispreviousstatementofnevermovingagain,Greeropenedhiseyessohecouldbask

inthemorningaftersexglowwithher.Lastnighthadbeen…wow.Aftertheadventureinthecar,theyhad
comebacktotheroomandtakenabathtogether.Itwasrelaxingandcleansingandfeltfantasticwithher
slickbodynestledupagainsthis.Greertookhisjobasbathattendantveryseriouslyandmadesureevery
inchofherwaslatheredandrinsed.Bytheend,shewasbackinhislapandspillingwaterovertheedge
ofthetub.

Theyhadyettohavesexinbed.
Maybethatcouldbechangedthismorning.
Ifshewasinbed.
Greerfrownedandliftedhisheadoffthepillowtolookaroundtheroom.Shewasnowhere.He

droppedbackdownandrolledtohisback,rubbinghiseyeswithhispalms.Herstuffwasstillthereso
shewasn’tgonecompletely.Thatsavedhimoneheartattackbutanotheronewasinitswake.Wherethe
hellwasshe?

“Ava?”hecalledout.
Nothing.
Allhismorningplansweregoingtoshit.“Ava?”heyelledagain,louderthistime.
Greerrolledoutofbed,hismorningwoodstandingatfullattention,andwalkedtothebathroom

doorwhichwasclosed.Hetappedhisknucklesandcalledoutagain.

Thistimeheheardanoise.ThehandleturnedandAvapulledopenthedoor.Shewaswearinga

robebuthecouldseeenoughskintotelltherewasnothingelseonandacellphoneinherhand.Fromthe
anglehecouldseeRob’sfaceonthescreen.Theywerevideochatting.

“Hi,”shesaidbrightlyandlethereyeslazilydropdownhisbody.Hadhercousinnotbeendoing

thesamedamnthingfromwherehecouldsee,Greermighthaveenjoyedthemomentmore.

“Oh…damn,”Robsaidinadmiration.
Greerdidnotreturnthesmile.
“What’swrong?”sheasked,thistimeconcernworkingintoherfeatures.
Greerglaredatthephone.“HowisRob?”
“Enjoyingtheshow,”Robmurmured.
Shelookedatthephonelikeshewassurpriseditwasthere.“Yeah,Iwasjustcheckinginon…shit!

Robstopgawking.”Greergrabbedthephonefromherandendedthecall.Themanhadgottenenoughof
aneyefulalready.Hethenbent,swoopedherupandoverhisshoulderandcarriedherbacktobed.

“Greer?”sheaskedinalaugh.
Hedroppedheronthebedandshebounced.Therobeopenedenoughforhimtoglimpseher

breasts.Nowthatiswhathehadbeenexpectingtoseewhenhewokeup.Pale,creamybreasts,withtight
littlenipples,tofillhishands.Greercrawledbackintobedwithher,pullingAvaintohischestand
nestledinwithahappysigh.

“Goodmorning,”Avelinemurmured.Herfingersweredancingupanddownhisforearms.
Hekissedherneckinresponse.Nowthiswashowhewassupposedtohavewokenuplike.Arms

fullofwoman,dicknestledintheapexofherthighs.Ifshewasn’twearingthatdamnrobethenitmightbe
perfect.

“Sowhat’sontheagendatoday?”
Agenda?Whatthehellwasthat?Greerhadbeenplanningonsomethingalittlelessstructured.

“You’relookingatit,”hesaid.

“Oh,ok.”Shewassurprisedbutsomethinginhervoicetoldhimthatsheapprovedofhisnon-plans.
Greerrarelyhaddaystojustsitaroundandbelazy.Whentheyhadthedayofflikethis,theguys

eitherhadappearancesorhadtoworkontheirnextalbum.Latelythough,theyhadbeenusedforNix.
Eventodayhewouldprobablyfindtimetocallafewplacesandseeiftheyhaveseenhim.

Avelineturnedinhisarmsandfacedhim.Shehadnomakeuponandherhairwaseverywhere.He

likedhowlightbrownherlasheswere.Theymatchedthehighlightsinherhair.Rightnow,shelooked
soft,young.Withoutthemakeupherfeaturesweredelicate.Lastnightwhenshehadbeenalldoneupshe
hadbeensexy.Butasshelaidherenow,shewassimplybeautiful.

SawyerhadbeenrightwhenhesaidthatGreerdidn’tdoseriousrelationships.Theyhadallbeen

burnedonewayoranotherearlyonintheircareersbyfalseintentionsandlyingeyes.Hewanted
somethingthatwasrealandplannedtoholdoutuntilhefoundit.

Inhisarms,Avafeltreal.
“Ilikeyou,”hesaidsoftlytoherashetookherlipsinalazykiss.Hecouldfeelhersmile.
“Ilikeyou,too.”Shewiggledcloserandranherhandsuphisback,intohishair.Theykissedwith

nodestinationinmind.Itwaskissingforthesakeofkissing.Lazyandfun.

Hewasjustabouttopointtheminadirectionwhensomeoneknockedattheirdoor.
“Openup,Asswipe!”Jasonyelled.“OhandgoodmorningAveline,”hesaidmorepolitetone.
“Goaway!”Greeryelledback.
“No.OpenuporI’llusethiscardIhaveheretoopenthedoormyself.Youhavethree…two…

one…”

GreerbarelyhadenoughtimetohelpAvelinestraightenoutherrobebeforeJasonopenedthedoor.

Sheheldthelapelsofherrobetogetherbutitdidnothingtohidethescarletblushofhercheeks.Greer
wasnakedasfuckbutitwasnothingthedrummerhadn’tseenbefore.

“Isthatforme?”Jasonaskedpointingtohisboner.
“Fuckyou,”Greerspatashepulledthesheetoverhislap.“Whyareyouinourroom?”
Jasongrinnedinapprovalashetookinthedisheveledstateofthebedroom.“Breakfast,Bud.”
“Notinterested.”
“Shelookshungry,”Jasonpointedout.Anddamnifhewasn’tright,Avahadperkedupatthesound

offood.“Wehavewaffles,”Jasonaddedwithadeviousgrin.

“Iwantwaffles,”shesaidseductively.Greerwasprettysureshedidn’tmeanforittosoundlikesex

butthedesireinhervoicewashardtomiss.Onedayhehopedshesoundedthesamewaywhentalking
abouthiscock.

“Thewomanwantsbreakfast.Don’tdenyherthesoft,syrupy,butteryhottubthatisthewaffle.”
AndthisishowGreerendedupatatablefullofmenandAvaeatingwafflesinsteadofhavinglazy

hotelsex.

*****

Afterbreakfast,whereAvelineatesomeincrediblewafflesthatRorymadeandtheguyshada

chancetoragonGreer,theywentbacktotheirroomanddidexactlyashehadplanned.Nothing.

Ithadbeenfuntositaroundinbedalldaywithnoworriesaboutdoctor’svisitsandhomework.She

forgotabouthertwojobsandthemassiveamountofcrapshehadpilingupbackhometodo.Shehad
forgottenabouteverythingexceptthemanbesideher.

Theywatchedmovies,orderedroomservice,kissedandflirted.Greerusedherbellybuttonasa

platetodunkhisstrawberriesintochocolate.Heusedhistonguetocleanuphismessaftershelaughedso

hardchocolatesaucestartedtodripdownhersides.Theyspenthoursnakedjustsotheycouldexplore
eachother.

Ithadbeenfun,untilitwasn’t.Somewhereduringtheeveningtheeasylaughterandlustfullookshad

turnedtoworriedlipsandfurrowedbrows.Theystoppedplayingandstartedmemorizing.Becauseina
fewhoursshewouldbegone.

Thethoughtofnotbeingabletorolloverandkisshimwhenevershewantedsatinherstomachlike

lead.Avelinedidn’twanttogobutshehadresponsibilities,shehadamotherwholiterallyneededherto
survive.Andsheneededtoworktosupportthemboth.Theywoulddothisagain.Hepromisedthathe
wouldflyheroutwhenevershewantedbutshedidn’twantthat.Avelinewasaproudwoman.Shewanted
topayherownway,oratleastcontribute.Itwasn’tfairforhimtoflyheracrossthecountryatherwhim.

Hedisagreed.
Theybothpacked.Aftershegotonherplane,hewasoffwiththebandforanotherconcertin

anothercity.Neitherofthemspokeastheyshovedclothingintobags.Avelinedidn’tfeeltheleastbit
sorryforsneakingoneofhist-shirtsinwithherthings.

Whenhewentintothebathroomtocollecthisbelonging,shecalledthefrontdeskandaskedthemto

callheracab.Itwasalreadygettingawkwardandshedidn’twanttomakeitanyworse.Theplanwasto
havehimandtheguysdropheroffattheairportonthewaytothebusesbutthentheywouldhavetosay
goodbyewithanaudience.Shewouldratherjustgetitoverwith.Whatwasonemorehouranyway?

“Youpacked?”heaskedashecarriedasmallbagoftoiletries.
Shenodded.“Yeah.Hey,IknowwetalkedaboutyoudroppingmeoffbutIthinkI’mjustgoingtogo

now.”

Hehadstoppedonhiswaytohissuitcase.Hiseyesheldnothingforherbuthistensesmileand

overlycontrolledbreathingtoldherenough.Hewasn’treadyforthispart.

“Sure,yeah.Um,ok.Doyouwantmetocallataxi?”Greerdroppedthelastofhisstuffinhis

suitcaseandzippeditup.

“Ijustdid.”
“Oh.Yeah,ok.”
Avelinepattedthebedbesideher.Greertookherhandbeforesittingdownandbroughtittohislips

tokiss.

“I’mgoingtomissyou,”hetoldher.
“Metoo.ButwearejustgoingbacktohowitwasbeforeandI’llseeyouagainatsomepoint.”

When,theydidn’tknow.

“Right.”Hewasn’tlookingather.Probablythinkingthesamethingshewas.Goodbyessuck.
“Callmewhenyoulandandletmeknowhowthingsathomewentthisweekend.”
“Sure.”God,shehatedthis.Theybothsoundedsosad.Itwasdepressing.Aftertheweekendthey

justhadbothofthemshouldbeinbetterspirits.

Greerwasrubbinghisthumboverthebackofherhand.“Alright,comehere.”Shefellintohisopen

arms.Somanybittersweetfeelingswererunningthroughher.Avelinewantednothingmorethantotell
himthatshe’dstay,gowiththemtothenextcityandseewherethiswasgoing.

Buthewouldn’taskandshewouldn’toffer.
Sothiswasit,righthere,rightnow.“Ihadfun.Bestmulliganever.”
“Metoo,”hesaidintothecrookofherneckasheheldher.“ByeAva.”
Shepulledbackandkissedhimlightlyonthelips.“Goodbye.”

*****

“Hey,hey!Youreadytogo?Justgotwordthatthebussesarewaitingonus,”RorysaidasGreer

walkedintotheirsuite.“Where’sAvalicious?”

“She’sgone,”Greersaid,cominginanddroppinghisbagnexttothepileandcollapsingintothe

couch.Hefeltlikeshit.HewouldhavegoneaheadtothebussesbutGreerknewthatwouldcauseaneven
morenumberofquestions,allofwhichhehadnopatiencetoansweratthemoment.

“Whaaaa?Shedidn’tevensaygoodbye?Whatdidyoudo?”
Felldeepintolikewithher.Hardlike.Ahard,lustful,happylike.“Nothing.Shejustwantedtogo.”

Fuck.Wasthathisvoice?HesoundedlikeadepressedEmomiddleschooler.

Jasoncamearoundthecouchandclappedhimontheshoulder.“Wantedtoripthegoodbyeofflikea

Band-Aid.Youok,though?”

“Yeah,justwanttogetontheroadagain.”
Lies.Butnoonequestionedhim.
“Thenlet'sgettoit,”Sawyersaidcomingoutofhisroom.“Timetomoveon,boys.”
Doubtful,verydoubtful.

ChapterTen

ForGreer,thelasttwoweekshadbeeninaspecialkindofhell.Thekindinwhichsleeplostits

restorativepowers,fruitloopslosttheirsweetnessandmusiclostitsbeat.Theonlybrightspotinthis
otherwisemiseryfilledexistencewereAveline’scalls,textsandvideochats.Theconnectiontheyfelt
onlygrewwiththedistancebetweenthem.Everystate,everycitybroughtthemclosertogetherwhilealso
pullingthemapart.

HewasprettysurehewasgoingtohopthenextflightoutwhentheymadeittoPortlandandgoand

seeher.He’dhaveaboutfivehourswithherbeforehehadtobeonaplanebackbutatleasthewouldsee
her,holdher.

Kissthehelloutofher.
Thiswasexactlywhyheneverbotheredtofindsomethingserious.Relationshipsdrovehimmad.

Greerwasaphysicalguy.Heneededphysicalconfirmationandaffection.Fromlittlethingslikeholding
handsandhugstomoreinvolveddeclarationslikesex,heneededtofeelthatphysicalconnectiontostay
sane.Ithadonlybeentwoweeksandalreadyhewasathislimit.

“Where’sGreer?”Sawyeraskedoutsideofhisbunk.
“Moping,”Jasonanswered.
TheywerethreehoursoutsidePortland.Sawyerhadbeeninthebackbedroomonthephonewith

theirmanagerforthelasthour.MorebullshitaboutNixandfindingareplacement.Whattheirlabeldidn’t
understandisthattheywereallpreparedtowalkiftheyforcedtheissue.Theywouldbreaktheir
contractsandlosealltheirmoneyinaheartbeat.

“I’mnotmoping,”hesaidloudenoughforthemtohear.
“Thenwhyareyousittinginthedark?”Rorychimedinfromthebunkacrossfromhim.
Greerpulledbackthecurtainthatseparatedhimfromthebus.“Iwastiredoflookingatyoursorry

ass.”

“Lame,”hesaidnotbotheringtolookupfromthebookheread.
Yeah,itwasprettylamebutGreerwassodeepinMopetownthatlamewasaboutthebesthecould

do.

“Well,Igotsomenewsthatshouldatleastgetyoutosmileorsomeshit,”Sawyersaidasheslipped

hisphonebackinhispocket.“Seriouslydude,you’revibesarebringingusalldown.She’sathome,not
dead.Ifyoudon’tcheerthefuckupI’mgoingtohavetocallAvelineandaskforyourballsback,andif
shecanspareit,yourdignitytoo.”

Heflickedhimoffbutdidn’tsayanything.Themanwasabsolutelyright.Hewaspussywhipped.
“What’syournews?”Jasonaskedfromthetable.
“AfterPortland,wearegoinghome.Seattlehadtocanceltheirtwoshows.Venueissue.We’llmake

themupattheendofthetourbutthatmeanswegetafewdaysoff.Fivedaysoffreedom.”

Therewerehootsofexcitementandsighsofrelieffromeveryone.Greerdidneither.Hepulledthe

curtainclosedagainandcalledAveline.

“Ihavetwominutes,”shesaidinlieuofagreeting.“Go.”
“Whatareyoudoingthisweekend?”heaskedasexcitementbegantobubbleinhischest.
“Working.IfinallygotafewshiftsfromVino’s.Thelasttwoweekswereslimpickingsasfaras

hourswent.Idon’tknowifit’spunishmentfortakingofforiftheyreallydon’thavethehourstogivebutI
mighthavetostartlookingforanotherpart-timejob.”

“Youworktoomuchasitis,”hesaidsurprisedatthisbitofnews.Twojobs,schoolandcaregiving

leftlittletimeasitwasforthem.He’dneverseeherifshepickedupanotherjob.

“AndyetI’mstillbroke.Whyareyouaskingaboutthisweekend?”

“Cancelledshows.I’mgoingtobehome,”hesaidasnonchalantlyaspossible.
Thedisappointmentinhervoicewashardtobearbecausehewasfeelingittoo.“Oh.Well,damn.If

I’dhaveknownyesterdayIwouldn’thaveaskedformorehoursbutIcan’tgivethemupafterthefussI
made.”

“IjustfoundoutorIwouldhavetoldyou.It’sfine.We’llseeeachotheranothertime.”Thelie

soundedweak,eventohim.

“Thissucks,”shestatedandheagreed.Itdidsuck.Itsuckedverymuch.
“Icancomeouttovisityou,”hesuggestedknowingshewouldshootitdown.
“Idon’tknowifthat’sagoodidea.Mymomandmyschedule…wewouldn’tseeeachothermuch.”
Theexcusewasoneshehadmadebeforewhentheytalkedaboutgettingtogetherafterthetourwas

over.Eithershewasembarrassedofhimorhermom,butregardlessshedidn’tliketheideaofherworlds
colliding.Theyweresonewyetthathedidn’tfeelrightarguingaboutit.

“Asopposedtonotseeingeachotheratall?YouknowIdon’tcare.Ijustwanttoseeyoufor

howeverlongIcan.”

Avelinesighed.“I’msorry,Greer.Ihavetogo.I’llcallyouwhenI’mdonewithmyshift.”She

didn’twaitforananswerassomeoneinthebackgroundtoldhertogetoffthephoneandhungup.

“Fuck,”hemuttered.Greerknewfullwellthateveryoneonthebusheardtheconversation.Not

readytodealwiththeirbullshitremarks,hedecidedtocalltheonlyotherwomanhewantedtoseewhen
hegothome.

“HeyMomma.”
“Heybaby,howareyoudoing?”
Funfact,Greerwasatotalmomma’sboy.
“Good.I’mgoingtobehomethisweekend.”
Therewasahootingoflaughter.NowthatwasthereactionhehadbeenhopingforfromAveline.At

leastsomeonewashappyhe’dbehome.“WellthatisthebestdangnewsI’veheardallday.”

Herhappinesswasinfectious.ItfilledasmalldentoftheholethatAveline’srejectionmade.She

hadperfectlylegitimatereasonsfornotbeingabletoseehim,hejustdidn’tlikethem.

“Nowwhatdoyouwantmetomakefordinner.Oh!Stupidquestion.Steakfingersandgravy.Itwill

pairwellwithJamie’scornfritters.”Shemadeahappylittlehum.“I’msohappybothmyboysare
cominghomeonthesameweekend.”

“Whatareyoutalkin’boutmomma?”
“Oh,Ididn’tgetthechancetotellyoubutyourbrothergetsreleasedtomorrow.He’scomin’home

tostaywithusuntilhegetsonhisfeetagain.Greer,Igottatellyou,Ithinkthistimedidit.Hesoundslike
anewman.He’sclean.Helookshealthy.Jamie’sgotthisglowabouthim.”

SheseemedsohappythathehatedtoburstherJamiebubblebutithadtobedone.“He’snot

Momma.Youknow,deepdownthatJamiewillneverbeclean.Ifhe’snotusin’thenhe’ssellin’.
Whateverhetoldyouisalie.”

“Nowhushyou.I’mnotasnaiveasyouandyourDaddythinkIam.Jamiecanpullsomefastones

butIseemorethanIleton.Ijusthavemorefaithinmychildrenthaneitherofyou.Jamiecandoitifhe
wantstooandIthinkhedidit.Isawhimlastweekandheishealthy.He’sgainedweightandhissmileis
honestandhappy.”

Greersighed.Hedidn’tfeellikefightingit.Letherbelievewhatevershewanted.Jamiewasnothis

problem.

“Ok,Momma.”
“He’saskedtospeakwithDaddywhenhegetshome.Hassomethingsheneedstosayand

apologiestomake.Jamieknowshedidwronginthepastandistryingtomakeitright.Ireckonhe’sgoing
towanttodothesamewithyou,Baby.”

Nowthatwasnotsomethinghecaredtohaveanypartin.“Idon’twanttotalktohim.”
“GreerAlexanderMcQueen,”shestartedinthevoicethateverychilddreads.“Iraisedyoutohave

forgivenessinyourheart.I’mnotsayingyoumustshareyourlifewithhimandbebestfriendsbutIdo
wantyoutohearwhathehastosaywithanopenmind.”

“Momma,”hegroaned.Hehadgottentheforgivenesslineafewhundredtimesgrowingup.Itwasa

favoriteofhersalongwith“Youcanputlipstickonapig,butit’sstillapig,”and“Youcangetgladinthe
samebritchesyougotmadin.”

Andthenshesaidthefourwordsthatnosoncaneverturndown.“Doitforme…”
Well,fuck.“Fine.”
Hecouldhearthesmilethroughthephone.“That’sagoodboy.Textmewhenyou’refreefor

dinner.”

“OkMomma.Loveyou,bye.”
“Bye,Baby.”
NoAvelineandnowhehadtoseeandtalktohisbrother.Thisweekendsuckedalready.
Hiscurtainpulledbackandhefoundallthreeofhisbandmatesstarringathim.“Nowwhat?”he

groanedandrolledoutofhisbunk.RoryandJasonmovedsohecouldgettothefridgeandgrabawater.
Noneofthemlookedhappy.Whichhappenedtocoincideperfectlywithhismood.

“What?”hesaidagain,thistimelettinghisattitudegetthebestofhim.
“Jamie’sout?”Jasonasked.
“Tomorrow.”Hefuckingknewitwasgoingtobeaboutthis.Noprivacyonabus.Hewouldkillfor

foursolidwallsrightaboutnow.

“Youok?”
Jasonwastheonlyonewhoactuallylookedlikehecared.Rorywasmoreinterestedinthedrama

andSawyerwasinhissilentangermode.Themancouldholdhistongueandwaitfortheperfectmoment
tostrike,andwhenhedid,theyallgotbit.

“Fuckingfantastic.”Apparently,Greer’ssarcasmfunctionwasn’tbroken.Hewalkedovertothe

smallcouchandsat.Heheldthecoldbottleofwateragainsthisheatedskin.

“Yourmomspoutingoffhispraisesagain?”
“Whatdoyouthink?”hesnapped.
“Hey,”Jasonsaidholdinguphishandsinsurrender.“Nottheenemyhere.Doyouwantcompanyat

yourparent’s?”

Greerdidn’twanttothinkaboutanyofitrightnow.Whathewantedwasadrinkandsomethingto

hit.“No.It’sfine.”

“It’snot,”Sawyerinjected.“He’sgoingtouseyourparentsandcomeafteryou.”
“Noshit.”Greerwouldhavelikednothingmorethantowalkoutthedoorandgoforarun.He

neededspacebutwouldbegivennone.Theperilsoflivingonabus.WhenSawyeropenedhismouth
next,Greerdidn’tevenneedtoseehimtoknowexactlywhatbullshitwasabouttofloodtheroom.
Insteadoflisteningtoit,hestoodandpushedpassedtheguysrightintothebackbedroom.

Sawyerpoundedonthedoorasheflickedthelock.
“Lethimbe,”Jasonsaid.“Youheardhim,Aveline’sworkingandnowthisshitwithJamie…he

needstimetocooloff.”

“Lecturehimlater,Boss,”Roryadded.
ThetalkingmovedawayfromthedoorandGreerwasleftinhisdesiredsolitude.
Unfortunatelyforhim,he’dbeenhorriblecompanylately.

*****

“IknowIpushedforthehoursbutsomethingcameup.Yes,I’msure.Notthewholeweekend,I’llbe

hometomorrowbutifyoucouldcovertonightthatwouldbeamazing.Really?Thankyou.Ok.Bye.”
Avelinehungupthephoneandsatbackinherchairwithagrinonherface.Sheknewitwouldbeeasyto
findsomeonetotakehershift,everyonewasfightingforthemthesedays.Herbosswouldinevitablygive
hercraptomorrowabouttheshiftchange.Avelinedidfighthardtogetthehoursthisweekend.Therewas
nodoubtthatsheneededthemoneybutGreerwashomeandasmuchassheneededthemoney,sheneeded
toseehimmore.

Calling,textingandemailswerejustnotcuttingitanymore.Afterspendingalongweekendwith

him,shehadthoughtthatgoingbacktohowthingswerewouldbefine,it’dbeeasy.Shehadbeenterribly
wrong.Theproblemwas,nowsheknewwhatshewasmissing.Beforeshecouldonlyguessatwhatit
wouldbeliketobewithhimbutnowthatsheknewshedidn’twanttogobacktothislongdistance
friendsthing.

Ifthatmeantshewantedsomethingmoreserious,thensobeit.Itdidn’tfitintoherscheduleright

nowbutshedidn’texactlyfitintohiseither.Theycouldbemisfitstogether.

Plus,thedisappointmentinhisvoicewhenshetoldhimthatshehadtoworkjustaboutkilledher.

Avelineknewthatshehadtoatleasttrytoseehim.Ifitdidn’tworkoutthensheknewshedidasmuchas
shecould.

Butasitturnedout,thingswereworkingout.Avelinefiguredshecouldaffordtohaveanursefor

onenight.IfsheleftwithinthehourthenshecouldbeatGreer’shousebysix.Thatwouldgivethemthe
eveningandthemorningtofigureoutwhatitwastheyhadandwhattheyweregoingtodoaboutit.

Plus,havelotsofsex.
Asshebegandownthelistofco-workerstocall,Robhadbeenpackingupanovernightbag.Ithad

onlytakenhertwocallsbeforesomeonesnatchedtheshift.

“Youaregoodtogo,Babygirl,”Robsaidcomingintohermom’sroomanddroppingthebagonthe

floor.“Janicewillbehereshortly.I’msorryIcan’thelpoutmoretonight.”

“Ohshutup,youareallowedtohavealifetoo.GoseetheshowwithQ.Iknowyoutwohavebeen

lookingforwardtoitforweeks.”

Robhadbeencausallyseeingamanforafewmonthsnow.Butinthelastfewweeksthingshad

beguntogetmoreintenseandRobthoughtthattheyweregoingtomakeitexclusivetonight.Heofferedto
cancelhisplansbutAvelinewouldhavenoneofit.She’dpayforanovernightnurseeventhoughthecost
wouldwipeheroutuntilpayday.

“What’sGreerdoingtoday?”
Avelinesatontheedgeofthebedandrearrangedhermom’sblanket.“Familything.Jasonassures

mehewillbehomebythetimeIgetthere.”Therewasasmallbutsolidballofguiltinhergutasshe
talkedaboutherplansinfrontofhermom.Sheshouldbeherewithher.Sheshouldbeconsideringher
careasapriority.ButAvelinehadatasteofwhatitwasliketobefreefromundertheunsettlingweightof
responsibilitiesanditfeltgood.Hermomwouldbecaredfortonightanditwouldbebyagreatnurse
whoknewthem,butitstillwasn’tAveline.

“ShouldInotgo?”shewonderedaloudasshewatchedhermom’sglazedeyeslookinthegeneral

directionoftheTVbutnotactuallyfocusonit.

“What?No.Shutup.Youaregoingandyouwillnotfeelguiltyforlivingyourlifeforyourselfonce

inawhile.Ifyourmommacouldtalkshewouldtellyouthesamething.Don’tevenmakethatface
becauseyouknowshewouldnotwantyoudoingwhatyou'redoingonheraccount.”

Shesmiled.TrustRobtogettotheheartofthematter.
“Iwondersometimesifshe’seventhereanymore,”shesaidlookingatthefaceofawomanwhoshe

usedtoknow.Thatbodyinbedwasnothermom.Shehaddiedlongago.WhatAvelinehadinsteadwas
theshellofthewomanwhousedtobehermom.“Sheusedtolookatmewithrecognitionbutnowit’s
likeshedoesn’tevenseeme.”

HisarmcamearoundherinahugandRobkissedthetopofherhead.“Idon’tknow.SometimesI

thinkIseeherthenit'sgone.It’sallthemorereasontonotfeelguilty.Shewouldn’twantyoutowaste
yourlife.”

Shesighed.“Ok,youmadeyourpoint.I’mgoing.”
“Good.Nowscoot.Noneedtowaitaroundherewhenyoucouldbeontheroadtoyourman.”

ChapterEleven

Greerwalkedintohisparent’shousewithacaseofbeerunderonearmandalargeenvelopeinthe

other.Hismomwasatthestovestirringapotwhilesheheldaglassofwinecuppedinherhandlikeshe
wasbornwithit.Hedroppedthecaseoffonthecounterandwenttoher,wrappinghisarmsaroundher
shoulders.

“Hi,Momma,”hesaidkissingheronthecheek.
“Thereyouare!”Sheturnedwithasmile,puttingdownherglasssoshecouldhughimproperly.

“Howiseverylittlething?”

“Fine.”Hehandedhertheenvelopeandwatchedhereyescrinkleindelight.
“Suchagoodboy,”shesaidpattinghischeekbeforeopeningthegift.
Ithadstartedwhentheywerejustasmalltownbandplayinginneighboringcities.Greerwouldget

apostcardfromeveryplacetheywentforher.Backthenhehadmailedthembutnowhejustsavedthem
upforwhenhesawhernext.Heknewforafactthatshehadeverycardhehadevergivenherinafew
scrapbookssomewhere.

“Theseareperfect!”
“Theyarethesamecitiesaslastyear,”heremindedher.
Shegavehimthe“onedayyou’llunderstand”look.“Doesn’tmatter.Nowdidyouwashyour

hands?”

Greergroaned.Nomatterhowoldhebecame,shestilltreatedhimasifhewasfiveandcoveredin

foreignsubstances.Withoutanotherword—becauseheknewitwaspointlesstoargue—hewenttothe
sinkandwashedhishands.

“Where’sdad?”
“TalkingtoJamie,”shesaidinaforcedhappyvoice.
Well,fuck.
“Hewantstotalktoyounext.”
“Notinterested,”hesaiddryly.
Shesighed.“Now,Greer…”
“No,Momma.Idon’tcarewhathehastosay.”HowshecouldstilldefendJamieafterallthecrap

hehasputherthroughinthepastwasbeyondhim?Maybeheneededtoremindherofthethousandsof
dollarshehadstolenfromthemovertheyears,orthecountlesscarshehadtotaled.“It’sallalie
anyway.”

Sheopenedhermouthtocounterhimwhensomeonespokefrombehindhim.“He’sright.”Itwas

“someone”becausethevoicehehadcometoknowashisbrother’swasnotanywherenearthesoundthat
wascomingfromhimnow.Jamielooked…civilized.Helookedhealthy.Gonewasthedrugaddledface
andgreasyhair.Hisskinwasclearandhisfacehadsomeshapetoit.Itwasthefirsttimeinalongtime
thathesawhimselfreflectingbackathim.

“HeyGreer,it’sgoodtoseeyou,”Jamiesaidwithcleareyesandnoshaketohisvoice.
“Hi,”Greerresponded.Thiswasnotwhathehadexpectedtosee.HisdadwalkedaroundJamie

towardhim,alookoftimidhopefulnessflashinginhiseyes.Thatwasnotanormallookwhenitcameto
hisbrother.

“Heypop,gotyourbrewoverthere.”
Hisdadclappedhimontheshoulderashewalkedby.“We’lltalkinalittle,”hesaidinhisear.

Greernodded.Rightaboutnowheneededtotalk.Hewantedtoknowwhatthehellwasgoingon.

GreerwasunabashedlystaringatJamie.Sure,hecouldhavegottenclean.Peoplehaveturnedtheir

livesaroundbefore.ButthiswasJamie.He’dneedalittlemoreconvincingthanahaircutandsomeclean

clothes.

Hismombroketheawkwardsilence.
“Jamiecanyouhelpmewiththesalad.Greertakethesesteaksouttoyourfather.”
Withoutcomment,eachbrotherdidashewastold.Hisdadwasstandingbythegrillandstaringout

overthelawn.Hisfacewasaconflictofemotions,whichtoldGreermorethananywordscould.He
thoughtthatJamiecouldbetellingthetruth.Hisdadwasn’tsoldonitcompletelybutJamiehadputthat
kernelofdoubtinhishead.

“Whatdidhetellyou?”Greerasked,asheopenedthegrillandbegantolaythesteaksonthegrates.

Aloudsizzlenippedattheirearsastheflamesbegantodotheirthing.

“Heapologized.Iknow,nothingnew,butthiswasnotlikeinthepast.Itwas…real.”Hisdadshook

hisheadinwondermentandlookedatGreer.“Iknowwearetheskepticsofthehouseandyourmommais
thenaiveonebutshemightjustberightthistime.Jamieseemstohaveturnedaround.”

“Hejustgotout,”Greerremindedhim.
“Iknow.Butthereissomethinginhiseyesthatwasn’ttherebefore.SomethingIhaven’tseensince

hewasseventeen.”

Greergruntedoutaresponse.
Hisdadsmiled.“Yeah,Isoundjustascrazyasyourmomma.He’shasawaytogobeforeIbelieve

himcompletelybutit’slookinggoodsofar.Youdon’thavetotalktohimjustyet.Iknowyoudon’twant
to.Butatsomepointyoushouldhearhimout.Hegenuinelysoundsasifhewantstochange.”

Podpeople.
Thatwastheonlyexplanationhecouldcomeupwiththatwouldexplainthechangeinhearttoward

hisdeadbeatbrother.

Theydroppedthetopicandmovedontoeasierthingsliketheband,schoolandAva.
“Soyou’resayingthatsheisjustafewhoursawayandyouarenotgoingtoseeher?”
WhenhesaiditlikethatGreerfeltlikeanidiot.
“Sheisbusy,”hemurmuredbutevenhewasbeginningtoquestionhislogic.
“So?Youthinkshewouldactuallyturnyouawayifyoushowedupthere?”
No.Shewouldn’t.Hereyeswouldgowideandhermouthwoulddropopenbutthenshe’dsmile

andthedrive,thewaiting,theshorttimetheywouldhavetogetherwouldallbeworthit.

“Bringflowers,somethingsunnyandbright,”hisdadcontinued.“Theyloveflowers.Then

apologizefornotlisteningbuttellherhowyouneededtoseeherevenifitwasjusttogiveherthe
flowersandleave.Evenifshe’sbusythisweekendshe’llfindtimeforyou.”

Hisdadwasaladies'man.Itwaseasytoforgetsincehehadbeenwithhismomforsolongbut

onceuponatime,hisdadhadmoves.

Thesteakscameoffthegrill.Greergrabbedtheplatewhilehisdadgothisbeer.Hesawhismom

andbrotherlaughingaboutsomethingthroughthewindow.Thehappinessonhismom’sfacewasaweight
inhisguthedidn’twantrightnow.Shewasgoingtobecrushed.IfJamie…whenJamiefuckedup,hewas
goingtobreakher.Shewasastrongwomanbutapersoncouldonlytakesomuch.It’swhyhisdadhad
stoppedtalkingtohisbrotherafewyearsago.Theirlimithadbeenreached.Greerlookedathisbrother
anddidn’tseeamanreformed,hesawamanwhohadhonedaskill.Hewasstillplayingthem,hehad
justgottenbetteratit.

Maybehehadgottencleanbutthatdidn’tmakehisbrotheragoodperson.Withoutthedrugsand

alcoholmuddlinghismind,hecouldbetheslyassholethathewas.

Jamielookedupastheycamein.HesmiledatGreerandtippedhisheadtowardthehallway.Greer

wantedtoignorehim,hewantedtoflickhimoffandtellhimtogofindanotherfamilytofuckwith.Buthe
didn’t.Henoddedandputdownthesteaksandfollowedhisbrotheroutofthehall.

“Youlookgood,”Jamietoldhimwhentheywereoutofeyeshotoftheirparents.

“Thanks,”hesaidwithnofeeling.TherewasanawkwardmomentwhenJamiewaitedforhimto

saysomethingbacktohimbutthatwouldn’tbehappening.Complimentswereforthosewhodeserved
them.

“So,Iwashopingwecouldtalk.”
“Weare.”
Jamie’sforeheadwrinkled.“No,Imeanforreal.Haveaseriousconversation.Therearesome

thingsIneedtosay…”

Greercrossedhisarmsoverhischest.“Fine.I’vegotsomethingsIwanttosayaswell,butnot

here.”Iftheytalkedhere,hismomwouldbelisteninginandpushingforreconciliation.Greerwantedhis
brotheronhisturf.“Afterdinnercomeovertomyplace.”

Jamiehadneverbeeninvitedovertohishouse.Hehadshownupmultipletimesbeggingformoney

ortryingtostealthisorthatfordrugmoneybutneverhadhebeeninvited.

“Yeah,yeahok.”
Greerwouldgettothebottomofthis.He’dfindoutwhatJamiewasuptoandhewouldendit.

*****

Greerwaitedforhisparent’scartoparkbesidehimbeforehegotout.TheyhadlentJamietheircar

sothatthebrotherscouldhaveatalkinprivate.HismomwasjustsothrilledthatGreeragreedtoitthat
shedidn’tputupafusswiththemleaving.Hisdadhadtakenhimasidebeforeleaving.“Imustadmit,I’m
feelingabitbiasatthemoment.Tellmeyourthoughtsafteryoutalktohim.I’mcurioustoseehowyou
takeallthis.NoonewantstobethefoolandI’dliketoavoiditifIcan.”

Jamiegotoutofthecarandtogethertheywalkedinside.HehadneverbeentoGreer’shouse.After

movingtwoyearsago,Greerdecideditwasbestifhisbrotherdidn’thavehisaddress.Lesslikelyofa
chancetocomehomeafteratourtofindhisshitstolenlikeathislastplace.

Hetookaglanceathisbrotherasheunlockedthefrontdoor.Hismouthwastryingveryhardnotto

dragonthefloor.Yeah,hehadcomeupintheworld.AnotherthinghetriedtohideformJamie,his
success.

“Comeonin,”hetoldhisbrotherasheturnedoffthealarm.Greerhadn’tmissedtheglancetothe

keypad.Hewasstakingoutthesecurityalready.Recoveredmyass.

“Let’shaveaseatandyoucan-”Hisphonerang.“Sorry,”hesaidfishingitoutofhispocket.Itwas

Jason.Greerignoreditalongwiththetenmessagesfromtheman.“Right,sooverhere.”Greerledhim
intothediningroomandsatdown.Hewasbeingahorriblehostinthathedidn’tofferanythingtoeator
drink,orevenacomfortableseat.Ifithadbeenanyoneelse,hismomwouldbeathisassforhislackof
hospitality,butunderthecircumstances,hewassureshewouldunderstand.

“Thefloorisyours,Jamie.”
“Yourhomeisimpressive,”hesaid.“I,uh,guessyou’vebeendoingwell.”
Hewasfishing.Unfortunately,ifhewantedanswershe’dhavetogotoGooglelikeeveryonedid.

“ThankyouandwearebutIwasundertheassumptionthatwewereheretotalkaboutyou,notme.”

Jamieduckedhishead.“Yeah.No,you’reright.”Jamiesettledisfaceintoapreparedsomber

expression.“Thingsweredifferentthistimearound,G.Therewasanincidentattheprisonand…well,it
mademeseethatmylifewasgoingthewrongway.”

Everywordthatcamefromhismouthwasapracticedlie.Didhisbrother,histwinbrother,really

thinkthathecouldpulloneoveronhim?AtleastbeforewhenhescrewedhimoverJamiewouldhavethe
decencytotellthemsemi-truthfulliesorjustflatoutsaywhatheneededmoneyfor.

Hisphonestartedtoringagain.“Fuck.Sorry.”
“No,takeit.”
“Yousure?”Jasonnevercalledhimlikethis.Greertookapeekathismissedtexts.Abunchof

“Callmenow”and“PICKUP!”textswerebeginningtofillhisscreen.

“Yeah,dowhatyougottado.”
Greerdidn’tmissthereliefonhisbrother’sface.Bothofthemknewhewasn’tfallingfortheact

Jamiehadgiventohisparents.Heneededachancetoregroup.

Greerleftthetableandwentintohisstudydownthehall.Jasonpickeduponthefirstring.

*****

Hishousewasbig.
Like,rockstarbig.
Which,ifshewasthinking,madesense.ButshethoughtofGreerasGreerandnotasfamous

musician.

Still,bighouse.
Shewasn’tsurewhytherewerebutterfliesinherstomachgoingintoafrenzyandmakingher

slightlynauseous.AvelinehadgottenintotowntwohoursearlierandhadspentitatJason’shouse,which
wasjustdowntheroad.HeteasedheraboutbeingdickwhippedbuthadtoldherthatGreerwasgoingto
beecstaticwhenhesawher.ThefactthatJasonwasteasingherlikehedidwiththeguysintheband
madeherfeellikeshebelonged.

Itwasanicewarmandfuzzytogoalongwiththoseragingbutterflies.
Avelineleftherbaginthecar,figuringthatintheoffchancethatGreerwasn’tthrilledbeyond

measureatherappearance,atleastshecouldexitwithsomedignity.Although,asshestoodathisdoor
shereallywishedshehadsomethingtoholdorkeepherhandsoccupied.Avelineknockedandthenhad
thetorturoustaskofwaiting.

Andwaiting.
Andwaiting.
Shouldsheringagain?MaybeJasonhadbeenwrong.Maybehewasn’thomeyet.
Avelinewasabouttohitthebuttonagainwhenthedoorswungopenandhewastherelookingather

withheatinhiseyes.Shewantedtojumphimbutsomethingheldherback.Maybeitwasleftoveranxiety
fromthedriveandwaitbutshethoughtithadmoretodowiththefactthathehadnotmadeamovetoward
heryet.Hisstillnessandsilenceforthatmatterwas…unsettling.

“Surprise,”shesaidunsureifhewashappytoseeherornot.
“Yesitis.Doyouwanttocomein?”Hisvoicewasscratchier,likehehadjustgottenoveracold.
Avelinesteppedaroundhimandintothehouse.Sheneededtotouchhim,tofeelthathewasreal.

Sheplacedherhandonhisheadandruffledtheshorthairs.“Youcutyourhair,”shepointedout.Hehad
alsolostsomeweightbutshefiguredthatwouldn’tbeagoodicebreaker.“Ilikeit.”Shedidn’t,notreally.
HewasabuzzedheadbutAvelinelikedtorunherfingersthroughhislocks.Itwouldbeafewweekstill
itwaslongenoughforhertodothatagain.

Greerswipedahandoverhisheadlikehehadn’tnoticedhishairwasshorter.“Yeah.Gotsickofit.

CanIgiveyouatour?”

Theystoodinhisfoyerandshewashavingahardtimekeepinghereyesonhimandnoton

everythingelse.Greerwasrich.Sheknewthis,ofcourse.Butknowingandseeingtheevidenceweretwo
differentthings.

“I’dloveone.”
Greertookherhandandledheraroundthefirstfloorandthenupstairs.Itwasstrangehowineach

roomhehadtolookaroundbeforehecouldtellherwhatitwasexactly.Shehadn’trealizedjusthow
littletimehespenttherebutwithtouringandall,itmadesense.Sortof.

Alright,sothetruthwasthatbythethirdbedroomshewasfeelingabitodd.Greerhadn’tgreeted

heratalllikesheimaginedandtheirchemistrythathadbeensostrongweeksearlierwasmissing.His
handinherswasmissingsomething.Itcouldbeanyone’shandthatshewasholdingandthatjustseemed
wrong.Anytouchfromhimbeforewouldhaveelicitedarangeofemotionsfromdesiretoprofound

happiness.Butnow?Well,theonlyfeelingshehadwerethoseofmourning.Howhadthingsgonesobad
sofast?

“Andthishereisthe…”Greerwalkedthroughthedoor,pullingherwith.“Mybedroom,”hesaid

happily.

Avelinesmiledbutitdidn’treachhereyes.Beinginhisbedroomwassomethingshehaddreamed

offorweeksandnowthatshewashere,shejustwantedtoleave.

“It’snice,”shesaidinanon-committedtone.Maybeshecouldexcuseherselfforthenightandgo

backtoJason.Maybehehadsomeanswersastowhathadgonesowrongbetweenthem.

“Comehere,Baby,”Greersaidtuggingonherhand.Hiseyesrakedoverherbodybutinsteadof

feelingsexy,shefeltcreepedout.Hesettledhishandsonherassandbeforetryingtokissherortouchher
inanykindofcivilizedmanner,hepulledherbutttowardshimandgroundhishipsintoher.

“Whatareyoudoing?”sheasked.Avelineputherhandsonhischesttostopwhateverforward

motionhethoughthe’dtakethis.

“Givin’youwhatyouwant.”Hishard-onpushedintoherstomachandshehadtofightbackagag.
“Yeah,no.Youcanstopnow.IthinkI’mgoingtogo.”Avelinepushedathischestbuthedidn’t

budge.Thesmileheworedroppedfromhisface,transforminghimfromsomeoneshethoughtsheknew
intoamonster.ThiswasnotGreer.Beingthisclosetohimnow,shecouldseethedifferences.Ahealed
scarrandownthesideofhisface,histeethwereyellowandthemusclesunderherhandswerebony.
Therewasnomeattohim.Andnowthatshethoughtaboutit,wherewerethecallusesonhisfingers?His
handshadbeensmoothagainsthers.

“What?Thisiswhatyoucameherefor,ain’titbitch?Groupieslutslikeyoujustwantmydick.”
Thatparticularappendagewasspearingatherstomach.Avelinetriedtopushawaybuthegrabbed

bothherhandsbehindherbackandgropedherbreastoverhershirt.Shegruntedasshetwistedherhands
tryingtofreethem.

“Quiet!”heroaredandthenlookedattheopendoorbehindher.
Hishandtuggeddownatthenecklineuntiltheseamhadbroken.Thesmilethatgrewonhisfaceat

thesightofherbreastssickenedher.Whothehellwasthisperson?

“Getthefuckoffme!”
“Idon’tthinkIwill.IcanseeyouhavefiguredoutthatIamnotyourpreciousGreerbutsinceheis

offsomewhereinthisfuckinghouseyou’llhavetosettleforthenextbestthing.”

Hepulledthecupofherbradownexposingherbreast.Sheshrankawayfromhistouchbutcouldn’t

goanywhere.Avelinecouldfeelthebruiseblossomingalready.Hesqueezedlikeamanstarvedfora
woman.

Thisisnothappening.ShewasnotgoingtoberapedbyanevilGreer.
Nottoday.
Notever.
“Fuckyou,”shespatandkneedhimintheballs.

*****

“Greer,fuckman.I’vebeentryingtocatchyouallnight.”
“Yeah,”hesaidannoyed.Hisbrotherwasaloneinhishouse.Hedidn’twanttoleavehimalonefor

long.“Whatdoyouneed?”

“Look,Ican’ttellyouwhybutyouneedtogethomenow.I’vegotasurpriseonitsway.”Jason

soundedsosmug.Greerhadbeenexpectingbadnews,maybesomethingonNix.Hehadnotimefor
surprisesandthiswasjustpissinghimoff.

“Nowisreallynotagoodtime.”Adooropeneddownthehall.Fuck.Jamiewasexploring.He

neededtofinishthisup.

“Wellmakeitagoodtime!You’lllikethis.Ipromise.”
Greerranahandoverhishead.Hehadbeenpacingbutsatathisdesk.“Jason,”hebegan.Greer

wasn’tplanningontellingtheguysaboutJamieuntilhecouldgetabettergrasponeverythingbutplans
change.“Jamieishere.”

“Whatthefuck?”
“He’suptosomethingandIneededtogethimawayfrommymomtofigureitoutsoIbroughthim

back-”

“Shutup,Greer,”Jasoninterrupted.“JesusChrist.Avelineisonherwaytoyourplace.Getyour

fuckingshitofabrotheroutofthere.”

Hernamestunnedhim.Ofalltheoutcomes,thiswasnotonehehadimagined.“What?”
“Shejustlefthereandisonherway,youdumbfuck.Shewastryingtosurpriseyou.”
Heheardfootstepsonthestairs.Multiplefootsteps.
“Fuck.No.”Wassheherealready?
Greerranoutoftheroomandtookthestairstwoatatime.Therewasamuffledyellandthena

crash.Fuck.Ifhisbrotherhurther.Ifhedidanythingtoher,Greerwouldkillhim.Murderhadlittle
consequencetohimwhenitcametoAveline.

Allthedoorswereopenedonthesecondfloor.Allbuthisbedroom.Bileroseinhisthroatas

soundsofstrugglecamethroughthedoor.Heturnedtheknobandpushedopenthedoor.Thefirstsighthe
hadwasofAveline,backagainstthewall,tearsandmakeuprunningdownherfacelikedepressed
watercolorsandherpurseheldprotectivelyagainstherchestcoveringtheremainsofhertornshirt.She
wasn’tlookingatGreerbutathissickfuckofabrotheronthefloor.Jamiewasrecoveringfromwhatever
doseofrealityshehadgivenhisballs.

Greerwasabouttogivehimsomemore.
“Aveline,areyouok?”
Atthesoundofhisvoice,herheadsnappedupandshelookedathimwithsomuchfearthatyou

wouldhavethoughtitwasGreerwhohadattackedher.Shelookedbetweenthetwooftheminhorror.

Jamiewasmovingtohisfeet.Withahandonthenightstand,hepushedhimselfuptostanding.
“Fuckingbitch,”Jamiespat.“Greer,youneedbettergroupies.”
NowthiswastheJamiehehadexpectedtosee.Thispieceofshitwasthebrotherheknewand

hated.

Greercrossedtheroomandslammedhisbrotheragainstthewall.Avelinescreamedastheyhit,the

drywallcrackingonimpact.Thecalm,respectfulfacadeJamiehadbeenwearingallnightwasnowgone.

Jamie’ssmilewasallbite.“Carefulbrother,you’llknockyourprettyhousedown.”
Bloodornot,thisfuckerwasnothisbrother.“Whatdidyoudotoher?”Greerfistedhisshirtand

slammedhimharderintothewall.“Tellme!”

“Nothingshedidn’taskfor.Thatrightbaby?”JamieaskedAvelinewithakissinherdirection.
Ifshesaidanything,hedidn’thearit.Greerlethisrighthookflowandpunchedhisbrother.Hewas

pantingwhenhediditagain.Yearsofloathingandresentmentflowedthroughhisfist.Againandagainhe
swung.Itfeltfuckinggood,untilherealizedhisbrotherwaslaughing.

Outofthecornerofhiseye,hesawAvelineinchingoutoftheroom.Bythetimeheturnedand

calledout,shewasgone.

“Goodone,Slick.Nowshe’llreallywanttotakeyouback.”Jamieturnedhisheadandspitsome

bloodontothecarpet.

“AvelineandIwillgetthroughthis.You,however,aredone.I’mgoingtoenjoytakingyouhome

tonight.Afterthis,momanddadwillbedonewithyou.Nomorefreerides,nomoreenabling.But,
becauseI’mniceI’mgoingtogiveyoutwochoices.Eitheryougotorehaboryounevercomehome
again.”

Jamie’sfacewasbeginningtoswell.“Momwouldnever-”
“Shewill,”Greerassuredhim.“Afterthis,shewill.”Fuckingoverfamilywasonethingbut

assaultingawomanwasonawholeotherlevel.Theirmomwoulddisownhimfortonightandbothof
themknewit.“ComeonJamie,youareanidiotbutyouaren’tstupid.Letmepayforrehab.Clean
yourselfupandtryforonce,trytobeadecenthumanbeing.”

JamiewassilentbuthisheadwobbledupanddownenoughforGreer.Helethisbrothergoand

steppedback.“Don’tthinkthatyoucancutoutonceyougetthere.IfyoudothenAvelinewillbepressing
charges.”

Jamiedabbedathiseyewiththebottomofhisshirt.Hetriedtolookpissedoffbutwithablackeye

almostfullyswollenoverandabrokennose,itwashardforhimtolookanythingbutinpain.“Ifucking
hateyou.”

“Rightbackatyou,Brother.”

ChapterTwelve

Greerrubbedahanddownhisfaceashewalkedoutofhisparent’shouse.Theyalltalkedoverthe

“deal”GreerhadmadewithJamieandallhadagreed.Ifhedidn’tstickwithrehabthenJamiewascutoff
fromthefamily.

Whenhecamethroughthedoorwithhisbrotherintow,hismomhadlookedsohappy.Forasplit

secondhecouldactuallyreadherthoughts.Contentthatherboyswerethere,together,underoneroof.But
shecouldn’tignorethebruisesonJamie’sfaceortheangerreverberatingfromGreer.Hismomhadbeen
brokenheartedasGreerexplainedwhatJamiehadbeendoingtoAveline.Howhehadfoundher,torn
shirtandtearstreaks.Shehadn’tlookedonceatherson.Hurtingthemtimeandtimeagainwasonething
butthemomentthatitwentoutsideofthefamily,allbetswereoff.Especiallysinceitwasawoman.
Theirdadhadtaughtthembetterthanthat.Evenifhegotcleaninrehab,Jamiemightnotgetbackintheir
mother’sgoodgraces.

HismomthenchastisedGreerfornotgoingafterAvelinetomakesureshewasok.
Well,thatwasGreer’snextstep.
HepulledouthisphoneandcalledJason.Greerneededaride,hehaddrivenhisparent’scarback

overandhedidn’twanttoleaveoneofhisparentsalonewithJamie,evenifitwasforfiveminutes.
Jasonwastheclosestandhealreadyknewpartofwhatwasgoingon.

Thedrummerpickeduponthefirstring.
“What’sgoingon?”Hewasirritated.Greerwantedtowelcomehimtotheclub.“LastIheard

Avelinehadrunoutoftheroom.Issheok?”

Greersatonthefrontstep.Hisbodywasexhausted,theadrenalinefromearlierhadwornoff.
“Idon’tknow.Iwashopingshehadgonebacktoyourhouse.”
Hecursed.“No.IhungupwhenIheardyouyellingafterherandtriedtocallbutshedidn’tpickup.

I’veleftafewvoicemailsandcalledalltheguystokeepaneyeoutforher.Noneofthemhavetalkedto
her.”

“Couldyougivemearide?I’matmyparents.”
“Ofcourse.”Therewasajingleofkeys.Hehadprobablybeenconsideringcomingoveranyway.

“Whatdidtheysay?”

“Well,Igavehimanultimatum.Hecangetcleanorbegone.Heagreedtogetclean.Dadispacking

upthecarrightnowtodrivehimdowntoFloridawherehehasaroombookedatthatplaceNixhadgone
to.Momwon’tevenlookatJamie.Thiskilledher.Ishouldn’tfeelsatisfactionthatIwasrightabouthim,
butIdoanditsucks.”

Jasongruntedinagreement.“WhatareyougoingtodoaboutAveline?”
Greersighed.“Idon’tknow.Idon’tevenknowwheresheis.”Nocalls.Notexts.Hehadsenthera

quickmessageaskingifshewasokbutnevergotaresponse.He’dtrycallingbutifJasonhadn’tgottena
holdofher,Greerwouldn’teither.

“I’mgonnasmackyouwhenIgetthere,”Jasongrumbled.“Goafterheryoudipshit!Sheisgoingto

needsomeone.”

“Youdon’tgetit,”hesaidinahumorlesslaugh.“Shewasscaredofme.Whenshesawmeherface

hadgonewhite.JamieandImightnotlookidenticalbecauseofhisdrugabusebutweareenoughalike
thatIremindedherofhim.”

HesawheadlightscomingupthedriveandthenJasonwasthere.Greerhungupandjoggedoverto

thepassengerside.Whenhewasinside,Jasonsmackedhimupsidetheheadaspromised.

“Ofcourseyouscaredherbutthatwasbecauseyouwerethereinthatsamemoment.I’msureshe

regretsitrightnow.”

Heshookhishead.Hewasn’tsosureofthat.
“Callhercousin.”Jasonsnappedhisfingerstryingtothinkofthename.“Rob.Yeah,callhimand

tellhimwhat’sup.Thengetyourassontheroad.”

TherewasnothingGreerwantedmorethantopullherintoahugandholdherbutasmuchashe

wantedtoprotecther,healsofearedtherejectionthathefeltwasinevitable.Jason,apparently,disagreed.

“She’snotgoingtowanttoseeme,”hesaidastheycameuptothegatetohishouse.
Jasonpunchedinthesecuritynumberanddrovethrough.“Welltoughshit.Youhangarounduntilshe

does.Ifyouareseriousaboutherthenyougottashowit.”

Hesmiledalittle.“Whendidyoubecomesuchanexpert?”
Jasonparkedbutdidn’tlookathim.HestaredatGreer’sfrontdoorlikehewaswaitingfor

someonetocomeoutofit.“WhatyouhavewithAvelineisreal.Don’tdiscardthatlikeit’slintonyour
shirt.”TheenvyinhisvoicewaswhatmadeGreernotrespond.HehadthoughthatJasonlikedthe
carouselofgroupiesandwomenfawningoverhim.Maybehehadthoughtwrong.

Anhourlater,Greerdidgo.JasonwashandlingthingsathishousewhileRoryheadedoverto

Jason’splacetoseeifsheshowedupthere,butGreerfeltitinhisgutthatshewenthome.Itwasasix
hourdrivetoElizabethCity,Greercalledhereverytwentyminutes.Evenasherphonestoppedringing
andwentstraighttovoicemailhedidn’tstoptheobsessivecalling.

The“whatif’s”weredrivinghimcrazy.Everytimeshedidn’tanswer,hismindrolledfurtherinto

thecycloneofworrythattoldhimshehadwrappedhercararoundatreebecauseshewascryingsohard
thatshemissedthedeerthatwasstandingonthesideoftheroadandjumpedasshewasdrivingpast.He
allbutstoppedtolookateverydisabledcarhepassedtoseeifitwasher.Ittookhimagoodhourbefore
herealizedhedidn’tknowwhatshedrove.

Thevoicemailsweregettingmoredesperateaswell.Firsthetriedexplainingwhathappened.Then

heapologizedafewhundredtimes.ThenhetoldherwhatwasbeingdoneaboutJamie.Thenheaskedfor
hertocallherback.Thenhetoldherthatbynotrespondinghewasimaginingtheworst.Thenhesaidthat
allheneededwassomeconfirmationthatshewasalright.Eachtimeherecordedamessage,hebecame
angrierandmoreannoyed.

Whenhewasanhouroutthephonerangagaininsteadofgoingstraighttovoicemail.
ItwasRobwhopickedup.
“Aveline?”Sostunnedthatitwasn’thergenericvoicemailsystem,Greer’svoicewavered.
“No.Youneedtostopcalling.”RobheldnoloveforGreer.
“Fuck,Rob,tellmesheisok.”
“IfIdowillyougoaway?”
Hellno.“Rob,”hewarned.“Ineedtotalktoher.HandAvelinethephone.”
Hescoffed.“Nocando.Avelineisinthebathwashingawaywhateverdamagethatbrotherofyours

inflicted.IamunderstrictordertonotturnonherphonebutIknewyouwouldjustkeepcallingheruntil
yougotaholdofherandsincesheisinnoshapetodealwithyouoryourfeelings,Itookituponmyself
tohelpmygirlout.Sheisfine.Shewillbefine.Everythingisfuckingfine.Now,youneedtogiveher
sometimetoprocessbeforeyousuffocateher.”

Greerfelttherollofhisstomachbreakinglikethetide.“Ineedto…”
“Youdon’tneedtodoanything.Thishappenedtoher,notyou.I’mcallingyoubecauseI

acknowledgeyourfeelingsforherandfiguredyouwouldbefreakingoutrightaboutnow.AmIright?”

Greergrunted.
“So,becauseIbelievethatyoudidn’tpurposefullysickyourbrotheronher,Iaminformingyouof

hercondition.Butstopcalling,seriously.It’sgoingtostressherout.”

“Idon’tknowifIcan,”headmitted.
“Try.”

Thelinewentdead.Greerconsideredturningaroundbuthewassoclosealready.Hewantedtobe

therewhensheagreedtotalktohim.Notonlythere,butonherdoorstep.Heneededtoseehernow.
Hearingherwouldnotbeenoughanymore.Heneededtohear,see,touchandholdher.He’dwaitoutside
allnightifhehadtobutGreerwasnotgoinghomewithoutexplaining.

*****

Shewantedanothershower.
Ormaybefiftymoreshowers.
Evensafeandwarminherbed,Aveline’sskincrawledandshiveredwithmemoryofJamie.
Yeah,shehadfiguredoutwhohewas.Ithadtakenheranhourontheroadtodosobutitcameand

shefeltlikeafoolforrunningaway.Jason’sdesperatecallsandtextshadbeentoomuchatthetime.She
hadtoturnoffherphonebutsheknewwhensheturneditbackonthatGreerwouldhavebombardedher
withmessages.Asmuchasshewantedtotalktohim,shedidn’tthinkshecould.Everytimesheclosed
hereyesandsawJamie,shealsosawGreer.Howwasshesupposedtofacehimandnotflinch?

Herheartwasconflicted.ItwantedGreerbutdidn’twanttoseehim.Whatshereallyneededwas

time.Timetothinkandfigureouthernextstep.Maybemakealistortwo.

Unfortunately,timewasnotsomethingshehad.
Robknockedonherdoorbeforecomingin.Hesawshewasawakeandpushedthedooropenwith

hisshoulder.Atrayofoatmeal,fruit,eggs,toast,coffee,teaandjuicewasplacedonthebedbesideher.
Shestaredatit,wonderingifheactuallyexpectedhertoeatallofthat.

“Iwasn’tsurewhatyou’dwantsoIbroughtalittleofeverything.”
Shesatupandmovedoversothathecouldsitwithher.“Thanks.Teaandtoast,Ithink.”
“Yougotit.”Hehandedherthebutteredtoastashegottheteaready.Sheateabitebutdidn’thave

anappetite.Itwasdryandfeltlikecardboardinhermouth.

“Howyoudoing?”
“Ok,Ithink.”
Hehandedherthecupoftea.“Doyouneedtogotothehospital?”
Avelinefrownedoverthetopofhermug.“Noandstopaskingmethat.”Everyfiveminutesthenight

beforesheheardthatquestion.

“Okfine,”hesaidgivinguponthehopethatshecouldgetcheckedout.Shehadlethimlookher

overandthatwasasclosetoanexamineroomthatshewouldget.

“Ihavesomenews,”hesaidcautiouslylikehewastestingthewaters.
Innomoodforgames,Avelinemadethecontinuemotionwithherhandasshesippedthewarmtea.
“Greerishere.”
Herchestkickedabeat.
Sheshouldhavefiguredhewouldcomewhenshedidn’tansweranyofhiscalls.Avelinelookedto

thetablewhereherphonesat,dead.Itwasinadifferentspotfromwheresheputitlastnight.

“Youansweredit,didn’tyou?”
Robbithislip.“I’msorry,BabyGirl.Iturneditonandwhenhecalled,Ianswered.He’samess.

Keepingittogetherandall,buttheworrycomin’offthatboyisdangerous.”

Avelineturnedherhead.Rob’sfeelingstotheunaskedquestionofwhatsheshoulddowere

obvious.

“Hegothereafewhoursagobuthasn’tcometothedoor.Itoldhimthatyouneededtimebuthe

musthavealreadybeenontheroad.”

“Whereishe?”sheaskedlookingatherteacup.
“Outside.Hesleptinhiscar.”
Shenodded.

“Doyouwanttoseehim?I’llgooutthereandsendhimonhiswayifyoudon’t.”
Avelinewasn’tsurewhatshewanted.Wouldseeinghimbetoomuch?Wouldsheevenbeableto

lookathim?Maybesheshouldwaitafewdaystoletthedustsettle,oratleastuntilshecouldstopfeeling
Jamie’sbreathonherneck.

Butshealsoknewhewouldbeacomforttoher.Greeralwayswas.
“Fine.I’llseehimbutnopromises.”
Robkissedhercheekandwithasmilehewasoutthedoor.Itmadeherwonderwhosesidehewas

reallyonhere.

Twosetsoffootstepsechoeddownthehallway.Avelinepulledherkneestoherchest.Maybeshe’d

seehimandinsteadofseeingthesimilarities,she’dseethedifferences.Maybeallshewouldseewas
Greer.

Asfaraspeptalkswent,itwasprettyfeeble.
Robcameinfirst.Hewaswatchingherreactiontoseeifshewouldrunscreamingorhandleherself

likeapropersouthernwoman.

AndthencameGreer.Hewasdisheveledinhissleptinclothesanddirtyhair.Therewasdried

bloodonhisknucklesandabruiseblossomingonhisjaw.Thedarkcirclesofworryandlittlesleepmade
hisfacehaveathinner,moresunkenappearance.

Everysingleoneofthosethingsmadeherlookawaywithawholebodyshiverthatdidn’tseemto

stop.Helookedmorelikehisbrothernowthanhehadlastnight.

Aheavybarrageoftearspressuredhereyes.Whycouldn’thehaveapaternaltwin?Whydidthey

havetolooksosimilar?

“Ava?”heasked,hisvoicethickwithremorse.Closinghereyesshesoakedinthevoicesheknew

sowell.Thatwasdifferent.Hisvoicewasn’ttheraspyandthintoneofJamie.

“Doll,youwantmetostay?”Robaskedcomingovertoherandrubbingahandacrossher

shoulders.

Sheshookherhead.“No.It’sok.”
Heleftbutshewantedtograbhishandandmakehimstay.ShewantedRobtostandguardagainst

Greer.HermindfounditincrediblefrustratingthatherbodyfoundGreertobeavillain.Soasmuchas
shewantedtheprotection,sherefusedit.Nomatterwhathispartinallthis,Greerwasnotthevillain.

Robleft,thedoorstillopen,butleftthemtoit.Greercameoverthebed,walkingslowlyincaseshe

spookedandsatonthefootofit.Hewasasfarawayashecouldbeandstillbepushingtheboundaries.
Avelinesnuckapeakathim.Hewascheckingheroverfordamages,hisfrownsodeepthatacrevasse
formedbetweenhiseyes.

“Howareyoufeeling?”heasked.
Avelineforcedherselftomeethiseyes,eventhoughlookingathimmadeallthemoisterdryupin

hermouth.“I’mok.Shakenbutfine.”

Henoddedanddroppedhishead.“Iwantedtoexplain.”
“IthinkIpiecedittogetheralready.”
Greerlookedupandsmirkedatherwithnohappinessintheexpression.“Amuseme?”Whenshe

nodded,hecontinued.“Hejustgotoutofprison.Hewasatmyparent’shousefordinner.Inormally
wouldhavelefthimthereandignoredhispresencebuthehadbothmymomanddadunderaspell.Some
bullshitabouthimchanging.Icouldn’tgetafeelforhimtheresoIbroughthimbackhomewithme.HadI
knownyouwerecoming…”

“Itwassupposedtobeasurprise.Sorry,”shemurmuredandlaidherheadonherknees.Shedidn’t

lookathimdirectlybutkepthiminherfieldofvision.

“No.Don’tapologize.Iwouldhavebeenthrilledtofindyouatmydoor.Ifithadbeenme

answeringit.Iwasonthephone.JasonhadcalledtotellmethatIneededtogethome.Hedidn’tknowI

hadJamiethere.Hehadneverbeeninvitedtomyhousebefore.”Hepausedwhichmadeherflickher
eyesovertohimbutashelookednow,herstomachfloppedoverontoitself.“Youcan’tlookatme,can
you?”

Shewantedtocry.Thedevastationinhisvoicematchedthatofherheart.Shecouldn’t.Shecouldn’t

lookathim.Howweretheytomoveforwardifshecouldn’tevenmeethiseyes?

“Ikeepseeinghim,Greer.Theshapeofyourmouth,yourtiredeyes,thepalenessofyourskinall

matchhis.”

Herecoiledlikeherwordswereabladethatjustslicedhisheart.
“Iamnotmybrother,”hestated.
“Iknow,”shewhispered,wishingshecouldtakebacktheadmission.“Butyoushareafaceandright

now,Ijustcan’t…”

“What?”heasked.Hisvoiceshakingwithgriefunderneaththeinsult.“Whatcan’tyou?”
Sheletoutherbreathinaflurry.Thetearshadbeguntofallasherworstcasescenariocametoa

head.“Ican’tdothisrightnow.Ican’tdous.It’sallsonewrightnow.”Herhandstwistedtheblanket.
“AndIneedsometimehere.Timeandspacetogetmyheadonstraight.”

Thewallhadcomedownsohardandfastonhisemotionsthatshestoleaglanceinhisdirection.

Nothing.Therewasnothingthereanymore.“Sowearebreakingup?”heaskedwithaflatnessthatmade
herstomachsink.

Sheshookherhead.“No.Idon’twantto.I…careforyoualot,Greer.ButIthinkitwouldbebest

foryoutogohome.WhenI’mready,I’llcallyou.”

Greernoddedinastonyway.Hedidn’tbelieveawordshewassaying.Thelackoftrustcuther.

“Ava,don’tdothis.”

Sheturnedherheadtowardthewindows,shuttinghimoutaseffectivelyashehaddonetoher.
Greersighedandstood.Shefelthimpauseatthedoorbuthedidn’tsayanythingelseashewalked

fromherhouse.

Shejusthopeditwasn’tfromherlifeaswell.

ChapterThirteen

TheirsuitelookedoutoverAustin.AviewthatusuallywouldenticeasmilefromGreer,butforall

hecaredtoday,hecouldbeatarundownroadsidemotel.TendayswithnowordfromAvelineconfirmed
whathehadknownallalong.

Theyweredone.
Timeandspacewerethekissofdeathtoanyrelationship.Heknewitthemomentthewordslefther

lipsthathewouldneverseeheragain.SoGreerhadleft.Hehonoredhertimeandrespectedherspace
andwenthometopunchaholeinhiswall.

Greerhadgonebackontouraswasexpectedofhim.Heplayedatshows,talkedandtookpictures

withfans,andjumpedwhentold.Greerjokedwiththeguyslikehealwayshad.Playedinmidnight
Cornholetournamentswiththeroadies.HeevenateRory’scookingwithnocomplainttothephallic
referencesthatalwaysseemedtolitterhisplate.

Justbecausehedidsomething,though,didn’tmeanheenjoyedit.Greerhadbecomenumbto

everything.Itwashowhecoped.Greerputuphiswallsandshutdown.Hissmiledheldnojoy,hislaugh
nosatisfaction.Thesoundwasflatwhenitcameout.Onlythoseonthetournoticedbutnoonesaidmuch
ofanything.

Ahandlandedonhisshoulderashestaredoutatthedarkeningcity.Jasonstoodbesidehim,smiling

withthefeelingGreerhadnoaccesstoanymore.“Lovethisview,”hesaidinsimpledelight.

Greergruntedinagreement.
“Food’shere.”
Henodded.
“Supposeweshouldgoeatsome?”
Greerlookedcautiouslyoverathisfriend.Hecouldn’thelpbutnoticethatJason’shandwasstillon

hisshoulder.

“Supposeso,”hesaid.
“Great!”Jasonsmiled.
HemadeGreergofirst.Somethingshadywasgoingon.Jasonpushedhimoutofhisroomintothe

commonareawhereSawyerandRorysatwithadozendifferentkindsoftacos,aswastraditionwhen
theywereanywhereinthesouthwest.Usually,thiskindofmealwouldelicitaravenousfeedingfrenzy
thatlookedsimilartoHungryHungryHippos.Today,however,theguyslookedonatthetacoswithas
muchdesireashehadappetite.

“Sit,”Jasonsaidashepushedhimintoachair.
“Awhell,”Greercursedashefigureditout.“Thisisafuckingintervention,isn’tit?”Heknewthe

drill;he’dbeenontheothersideofthiswithNixcountlesstimes.

“Dude,youneedtogetoutofthisfunk.It’sseriouslybringingeveryonedown,”Rorystated.“What

youneedistogoouttherefindagirlandsleepwithher.Youdon’tevenhavetobegood.Justdothe
deed.Itwillmakeyoufeelbetter.”

Hedidn’thaveanykindofresponsetothat.
Sawyerapparentlydidhavearesponseandtossedatomatoathim.“Shutup.”
“What?”heaskedashesearchedoutthelosttomatoonhisjeans.“AllI’msayingisthatyouknew

thegirlafewweeks.Don’tgetmewrong,shewasprettyawesomebuttherearealotofotherawesome
womenoutthere.”

Greerreally,reallydidnotwanttodothis.Hehadaplanandwastryingtosticktoit.Avelineheld

allthepowerrightnow.Hewashangingbyafingeroveragorgeandshewouldeitherlethimfallortoss
himarope.

She’dtellhim,onewayortheother,andthenhe’dbefree.UntilthenGreerplannedtokeepevery

thoughtandemotionunderlockandkey.

“Haveyoutalkedtoher?”Jasonaskedeventhoughheknewtheanswer.Theyalldid.Whatthey

didn’tknowwasthathehadsentherflowersandoneofthoseediblefruitthingswiththatchocolate
dippedpineapple.Whatdidyousendsomeoneasanapologyforgettingmanhandledandmauledat?Fruit,
flowers,chocolateandacardtellinghertotakeallthetimesheneededwasthebesthehadcomeupwith.

“No,Ihaven’t.Arewedone?”
Jasonsnorted.“Notevenclose.YoutalktoRobatall?”
Actually,hehad.RobkepthimuponAvelinenews.ItwasanewformoftormentthatGreerlikedto

subjecthimselfto.Robwasjusttryingtobeniceandheappreciatedthesentimentbutthosestatusupdates
guttedhim.

Shewastryingtoworkthingsout.ShehadgonetothedoctorafterRobhadnaggedherlongenough

andshewasgivensomethingtohelphersleep.Sincethenshewaspeppingup.Robgothertoopenup
aboutwhathappenedwithJamieandhethoughtthatshewasmakingprogresswitheverything.Everyday
thetextwouldreadsomethinglike,“Gettingthere!Justabitmoretimeandallthiswillfeellikeabad
vacation.”

“Ok,look.Thisisbullshit.You’reobviouslyhurtandprobablypissedofftoo.Iwouldbe.Butyou

needtotalktous,G.Thisautomatronthingyou’vegotgoingonisgettingcreepy.”

“It’soktoadmitthatyoufellforher,”Sawyersaidjumpingin.“Weallknowthatyoulove

Aveline.”

Andthiswasexactlywhyhedidn’twanttotalkaboutthis.
Greertookadeepbreath,prayedforstrengthnowtokillhisbestfriends,andexhaled.
“Iamgoingtosaythisonceandthenwearechangingthetopic.IdoloveAvelineandIalsorespect

thatsheneedstodealwiththissituationinherownway.DoIthinkit’sgoingtoendinmyfavor?No.”
Jasonfrowned.Hehadotherthoughtsonthematter.Thought’shecouldkeeptohimself.“Doyouknow
whatitfeelslikewanttocomfortsomeonebuthavethemcringeatthesightofyou?Avelinecouldn’teven
lookatme.Howisthatarelationship?”

“ButthethingwithJamiehadjusthappenedthenightbefore.Itwasallfresh,”Jasonargued.
“Thething?Youmeanwhenmytwinbrothertriedtorapemygirlfriend?”heaskedincredulously.

“Yeah,ithadjusthappenedbutIdon’tthinkIcanhandlehavingherlookatmewiththatfearagain.”

“Youjustneedtogiveitafewmoredays.She’llcomearound.”
Jason,evertheoptimist.
Greerrubbedahanddownhisface.“Canwetalkaboutsomethingelsenow?”hebegged.
Sawyerdecidedtojumpinwithhissecondleastfavoritetopic.“How’sJamiedoinginrehab?”
Well,fuckmesideways.
“He’snot.Heleft.”
“What!”
ThankGodtheydidn’thaveashowthatnightbecauseafterthis,Greerwaslockinghimselfinhis

roomwithadozenofthosetacosandabottleoftequila.“Hewasthereforfourdaysandbailed.Mom
andDadsaidhecalledhalfadozentimesbuttheyhavenotansweredany.Theyarestickingtotheplan.”

“Doyouknowwhereheisnow?”Sawyerasked.
“Don’tknow,don’tcare.”
Hestood,havinghadenoughgirltalkforamillennia.“Now,I’mgoingtobetakingthese,”hesaid

grabbingacontaineroftacosandanotherofrice.“AndI’mgoingtomyroom.”

Theyhadgottenalltheywouldoutofhim.He’dbeenmoreofaChattyKathythanhehadplannedto

beandiftheyeverfoundouthefeltabitbetterforithe’dneverheartheendofit.GreernoddedtoJason,
themostofathankyouhewasgoingtogetandretreatedtohisroom.

*****

“Sothebottomlineisthatweneedtomakesomecutbacks.”
Avelineglancedaroundtherestaurantwonderingthesamethingtheyallwere.Whowasgetting

fired?Forthelastfewweekstherehadbeenrumorsspreadingaboutthelackofshiftsavailable.Theyhad
aprimelocationrightonthemaindragandtheownerswerealwaysbeingoffereddealsfromchain
restaurantstryingtogetthespot.Shehadheardsomethingabouttheowner’ssongettingintosome
gamblingtroubleandcleaningthemoutbutBillandMarthaneverletonaboutanykindoffinancial
troubles.Therestaurantwasalwaysbusysothelackofshiftsdidn’tmakesenseatfirstbutifwhatsome
ofthelinechefsweresayingwastrueaboutthemfilingforbankruptcy,thenAvelinemightbeoutofajob.

“Wehatetodothis,”Billsaidlookingoverhisemployees.“Andknowthatwedon’twanttobutin

ordertocontinuetorunthisneedstohappen.Mark,AshleeandAveline,I’msorry.”Hesighed.“I’mso
damnsorry.”

Itdidn’tcomeasasurprisethatshewasfired.Thewayherlifewasgoing,shewassurprisedshe

hadn’tlosteverythingincludingthehouse.Nomatterhowhardshetried,Avelinecouldnotshakethefunk
herlifehadtakenon.

Markcursedandwalkedout.Hehadalwaysbeenahothead.AshleeandAvelineacceptedhugsand

apologies.Billofferedtogivethembothreferencesandifatimecamethatheneededhelp,hewouldcall
themfirst.SheappreciatedthesentimentbutAvelineknewthemomentshewalkedoutthosedoorsshe
wouldneverwalkbackthroughthem.

Anhourafterarrivingatworkforhershift,shewasleaving.Itwasareallystupidmoveonherpart

andshewouldberegrettingitwhenherelectricbillwasduebutAvelinewentdownthestreetand
orderedthelargest,chocolatiest,frozendrinkfromStarbucks…withextrachocolatesyrup.

Asshesippedthedrink,thedrinkthatunfortunatelygaveherlittlesatisfaction,Aveline

contemplatedhernextmove.Sheneededanotherjob.ShehadtoldGreerthatthreeweeksagobackwhen
herhourshadbeencut.Atthetime,theprospectofanotherjobwasnotattractive,notthatitwasnow
either,butthingshadbeendifferentthen.

AndnowshewasthinkingaboutGreer.Great.
Italwaysfellbacktohim.NomatterwhatshewasdoinghermindrevertedbacktoGreer.Overthe

lastthreeweekstherehadbeennumerousclosecallswithaccidentaltexts.It’slike,foramoment,she
wouldcompletelyforgetabouteverythingandpulloutherphonetotellhimsomethingonlytocatch
herselfhalfwaythroughcomposingthemessage.Thenshewouldwonderwhyshedidn’tjustsendthe
messageandseewhathappened.Butthatwasstupidbecausetheyhadn’ttalkedinsolongandhewas
waitingforhertocontacthimsothefirstwordsfromhershouldnotbe“WhatifTheGameofThronesis
abattlethathasalreadyhappenedandwearejusthavingthestoryreadtous?”

Atthispoint,Avelinewasstuckwithwhattodo.Therewasaperfectoutifshewantedit.Hewould

neverfaultherforit,either.Ifshewastooscaredfromwhathappened,thenhewouldunderstandandcut
hislosses.ButAvelinewasn’tsureifshewantedthat.Ithadtakenafewdaysfortheinitialshocktowear
offbutnowthatithad,shefeltlikeafool.Theywereidenticaltwinsbutwhenshesatdownandpictured
eachofthemindetail,sherealizedthatthereweremoredifferencesthansimilarities.

Plus,herimaginationexaggeratedsomeofthemorenoticeabledifferencessotheJamieinherhead

lookedmorelikeacaricaturethanaperson.

SoshecouldreachouttoGreer.Butifshedidthenshewassayingthatthiswassomethingserious,

somethingtofightfor.Withherlifebasicallyrevolvingaroundhermom’scare,wasthereroomfor
someoneelse?

*****

“He’sgoin’atithard.”
Jasonlookedovertothecloseddoortotheonlyrealroomonthebus.Aftertheyatebreakfast,

Greerhadlockedhimselfawayandbegancomposing.“Soundsgoodthough.”

Sawyernodded.“Can’tdecideifIlikeitbetterwiththepianoorguitar.”
“Iheardhimhummingearlier.Ithinkhemighthavelyricsforthisone,”Roryadded.
JasongotupandtossedtheremoteatSawyer.“I’llgoseewhatIcanhelpwith.”
Greerglancedupasthedooropenedandthenhiseyesdartedbackdowntothepaperhewas

scribblingon.“Hey.”

“Youneedsomedrumsyet?”Jasonasked.Hepickeduptheviolinfromthebedandputitbackinits

casesohecouldsit.

GreersatbackinhischairandpushedthesonghehadbeenworkingontowardsJason.Haditbeen

anyoftheotherguyshewouldhavesquanderedthesongawayuntilitwasdamnnearperfect.Jasonand
Greerworkeddifferentlythough.HefeltcomfortablesharinghisworkinprogresswithJasonbecausehe
knewthatthedrummerwouldseewherehewastakingitandhelphimgetitthere.

AsJasonscannedthepage,gettingafeelforthesong,hestartedtopoundoutabeatintheair.“Ilike

it.I’vegotafewideasfordrums.Letmegrabthetablet.”JasondisappearedandGreerheardhimsay
somethingaboutthisbeingtheirnextsingle.ItmadeGreersnort.Jasonalwaysthoughteverynewsong
wastheirnextsingle.Hecamebackaminutelaterwiththetabletandsetup.Jasonwasatadisadvantage
becausehisinstrumentdidn’ttraveleasily.Hehadtoresorttoelectronicversionswhenontheroad.It
wasn’tperfectbutitgavethemanideaofthesound.

Theyplayed.Musiccameeasybetweenthem.SinceitwasGreer’ssongheledoffwiththeguitar

thatRorywouldplayandJasonaddedhisbeat.Already,hewasenvisioningthewherehewouldaddin
Sawyerandifhewantedviolinadded.Thatdependedallonwhosangit.WithSawyer’sgrittiervoice
Greercouldaddmoreofadirtysoundingviolin.ButifNixsangit,thepianomightaccompanyitbetter.

TheyhitthechorusandGreerhummedoutafewlines.
“Youhavelyricstoo?”Jasonaskedsurprisedbutimpressed.GreerusuallyleftthelyricstoNixor

Sawyer.HecameupwithsomethingfromtimetotimebutNixwasalwaystheretohelphimtakeit
further.Themanwasapoet.

“Some.Nothingthatgood.”Thesonghadaturmoiltoitthatremindedhimoftheocean.Itwasbig

andbeautiful,sometimesitwasserene,othertimesitwaswicked.Themelodywasthesameway.There
wasahightideduringthechorusbutthenitwoulddiplow.

“Letmesee,”Jasonaskedwithhishandout.Greerslidhimanotherpieceofpaperwithsomelyrics

onit.Notallofthemwerecoherent,manyjustwordsorfeelingshewantedtoexpressbetter.Jasonread
throughhisnotes,hisheadnodding.Murmursandgruntscameashewent.Atonepointhegrabbedapen
andaddedsomething.

“You’vecaughtmelikeariptide.Pullin’meunderanddraggin’medeep.Niceline.”
“Thanks.”
“Thetide’sgettingstronger,yourlove’sgrabbingharder,mybreathisgettingweakerasIgiveupthe

fight.”Jasonstoppedreadingandhandedbackthepaper.“You’vegotsomethingthere.Thinkshe’llknow
it’sabouther?”

Greerflattenedhismouthandlookedbackatthestingsashestrummedtheguitar.“Neversaidit

wasaboutAveline.”

“Didn’thaveto.You’veneverwrittenasongforagirlbefore.Yourturtle,yourlostskateboard,

yourmomandyourfascinationwithfireallgotasongovertheyearsbutneverawoman.”JasonletGreer
notacknowledgehimasheplayedthroughitagainfromthetop.“Youknowsheisgoingtoloveit.”

“Whosaidshe’severgoingtohearit?”
Jasonshookhishead.“You’vegottohavefaith,dude.”

Greergaveanoncommittalgrunt.
“LastthingandthenI’llshutup.Youdon’twriteagirlasongifsheisjustapassingfling,especially

ifthisisyou.Whenyoustopfightingitandjustadmitthatyoulovethegirlandwantherinyourlifein
morewaysthanjustaphonecallhereandabootycallthere,thenthesewordsaregoingtoflowmuch
easier.”Hetappedonthepaperwiththelyrics.

Greerdidn’tsayanything.Couldn’t.Jasonwassooptimisticsometimesitmadehimnauseous.

Greerhadabitmorerealistapproachtolife.“ItoldherI’dgivehertimeandspace.That’swhatI’m
doing.Myfeelings,whatevertheymaybe,areonholduntilthen.IwillneitherconfirmnordenywhatI
feelforAvelinebecauserightnowthereisnothingtofeel.I’llgocrazyifIallowmyselftocontinueto
harvestthese,”Greerrubbedathischestandthenpattedthreesteadybeats,“thesegrowingemotionsfor
herwhenIdon’tknowifshewilleverbeabletolookmeintheeyeagain.SoasIwait,Iwillplay.
Simpleasthat.”

GreerflashedhiseyesuptoJason.ThedeepbrownpleadingsilentlywithJasontoletitbe.Greer

wasontheedgeoflosingitaltogether.Thankgodhisbestfrienddidn’tneedwordstounderstandthe
thingshecouldn’tsayoutloud.Jasonpickeduphissticksagain,twirlingonearoundhisfinger.

“Soweplay?”
“Yeah,”Greersaidwithanod.“Weplay.”

ChapterFourteen

“Ohhhhnaughty!”Robsaidfrombehindher.Avelineslammedherlaptopshutandturnedtoglareat

him.

“Theyweren’tnaughty,”shestateddefensively.ThepicturesofGreerfromlastnight’sshowon

theirfanpagewerecompletelyandtotallyPG.Justbecauseitwasherestrangedboyfriendlookingtotally
hotwhilehewascompletelyintohismusicwithhiseyesclosedandhisfacethepictureofcontentment
didn’tmeanitwasdirty.

Hercuriosityhadgottenthebetterofher.Shepulleduppicturesoftheirlastfewshowsandwas

happytoseehimsodeepintohismusic.Itwasthecandidpicturesofwhenhewasn’tplayingthat
concernedher.Greerlookedsodown,andifshewasn’tmistaken,guilty.Hesmiledbuttheemotion
wasn’tbehindtheaction.Hetalkedandsignedautographsbuthismindwaselsewhere.Manyofthefans
werewonderingwhatwasupwithhim.Someguesseddrugs,othersthoughttheyhadbrokenup.Many
goingasfarascallingherabitchandahomewrecker.

Liketheyknewanything?
Rob’sinterruptionhadcomeatagoodtime.Avelinewassupposedtobestartingdinner.
“Bythedroolonyourchin,I’dsayotherwise.Haveyoucalledhimyet?”Robwenttothefridgeand

pulledoutasoda.Hewasdressedinscrubsandabouttoheadintowork.

“No.”
“Andwhynot?”
Thislastweekhehadstartedinonher.“What’sGreerdoing?”“HaveyoutalkedtoGreeryet?”

“Puttheboyoutofhismiseryandcallhimalready!”Thenaggingwasannoyingbutsheknewhewas
right.Avelinehadkepthimwaitingfortoolong.Actually,shewassurprisedhehadn’treachedoutmore
beyondthoseflowersshereceivedthatfirstweek.Hewaskeepingtoherwishesandgivinghertimeand
space.

Wellboththosethingssucked.
“Youneedtotalktohim.”
“Iknow,”shemoaned.“Ijustdon’tknowwhattosay.”
Robrolledhiseyes.“Yousay‘HeyGreer,I’msorryittooksolong.I’mbeinganidiot.Iloveyou.I

missyou.Blahblahblah.Canwestillbebuttbuddies?’”

“Rob!”Avelineleanedoverthetableandsmackedhim.“Wearenotbuttbuddies.”
Hetookthepainlikeachamp.“Ifyoudon’tknowwhattosaythenjustgoseehim.Yourpresence

willbeenough.He’llbesothrilledthatyouwon’tneedtotalkandyoucanjustgettothegoodstuff,
makeupsex.”Hewiggledhiseyebrows.

Avelinedidn’timmediatelyshootdowntheidea.TheywereinHershey,Pennsylvaniaforashow

thatnight.Itwasdrivable.Allshe’dhavetodoisfindawaytogetbackstageand…

“Ooooh!Youareconsideringit!Thisisfabulous.Doyouneedmetocallanursefortheday?I

knowBonniecouldusethemoneyandtodayisherdayoff.”

Avelinewouldregretitlaterandshewouldhaveeighthourstogobackandforthoverbailingonthe

planorfiguringouthowtoactuallygothroughwithitbutshenoddedandsaidyes,whichcausedRobto
screamandtosshishandsintheair.

“Finallyyouaretalkin’sense.”
Thefactthatshehaddecidedtodothisincrediblyinsanethingsoquicklyconfirmedtwothings.

ThatshecaredforGreermorethanshewaslettingonandthatshewasreadytomakethissomething
more.Thedetailsonhowtherelationshipwouldfunctioncouldbehashedoutlater.Iftheywanteditto
work,thentheywouldmakeitwork.Peopledidthelongdistancethingallthetime.Plus,hewouldn’tbe

touringforeverandthentheycouldspendsomeextendedtimetogether.Avelinewaseventhinkingof
introducinghimtohermom.

Allthosegearsthathadbeenrelentlesslyturningthesepastfewweeksfinallyclickedintoplace.It

wasan“ahha”kindofmomentwherealltheproblemscouldbefixedwithonesimplesolution.

Gotohim.
Bewithhim.
Behappy.
Robhadbeencorrect,Bonniedidneedthemoneyandagreedtocomeover.Avelinehadtimeto

throwafewthingstogetherinabagbutshedidn’t.OncesheknewhermotherwassettledinwithBonnie
andthenursehadallherpillsandimportantphonenumbers,shejustleft.Gettingtherewasallthat
seemedimportant.Withtheprospectofseeinghimaftersolong,Aveline’sbodyonlywentinone
direction.Therewasnostopping,nopassinggoandnocollectingtwohundreddollars.

Surprisinglyenough,shedidn’tevendebatewhetherthiswastherightthingtodo.Shehadmore

thanenoughtimetosecondguesseverythingbutshedidn’t.Herchoicefeltright.Shefeltsettled.

Theopeningbandwasplayingandjustabouttofinishupwhenshegotthere.Therewereplentyof

peoplestillintheparkinglot.Manyofthemwouldnevermakeittotheshow.Poordrunkenfools.She
followedthegroupsofpeoplewhoweremakingtheirwaytothestadiumforthemainact,Rustedand
Reckless.Beinginthecrowdgaveheratingleofexcitementtogowithheranticipation.Ithadbeena
perfecttailgatingdayandeveryonewaspumpedfromthelocalbandthathadopenedforthem.

Atthegates,Avelinesplitofffromthecrowd.Shewasn’tsurewhereexactlytheywouldbebut

lookedforthefanswhowerewillingtoriskmissingtheshowinexchangetoseethebandupcloseand
personal.Itwasactuallythebusesshespottedfirst.Aroundthefarsideofthestadium,Avelinelinedup
withtherestofthehardcorefansandhopedthatshespottedsomeonesheknewwhocouldgetherinside.

“Idon’tknowwhyIbotherwiththesethingsanymore.Atonepointtheyusedtoletsomeofusin

backstagetohangaftertheshowbutit’sbeenmonthssincetheylastdidthat,”themanbesidehersaid.
“Haveyouevergottentomeetthem?”

Shesmiledathimandnodded.“Yeah,afewtimesactually.”
Hegrinned.“Nice.IplayedCornholewithNixandRoryonce.Theydominatedbutitwasfunas

shit.”

“GreerandImakeaprettygoodteam.Wewonafewgameswhenweplayed.”
Thefangaveherahighfiveforthat.
“Aveline?”
Oh,thankthegods!AvelineturnedtowardtheveryconfusedbuthappyJason.Hewaskiltedand

shirtlessalreadyhavingrunpassedherbutstopped.

“Holyshit.You’rehere.Like…fuckinghere!”Hejoggedovertothebarricadeandhuggedherover

therails.“Iamsogladtoseeyou.No.Thatisn’tagoodenoughword.Thrilled.YeahI’mfuckingthrilled
youarehere.”

Thesmileonherfacewasoneofthemostnaturalandeasythingsshehaddoneinweeks.“I’mabit

thrilledmyself.Anywayyoucansneakagirlbackstage?”Sheflutteredhereyelashes.

Jasonlaughedandbeforeshecouldreact,hewaspullingherupandoverthebarricade.“She’swith

theband,”hetoldthesecurity.

“Ihopeyouarehereforgoodreasons,”hesaidashedirectedherthroughthetentsthatmadeup

backstage.Thiswasanopenairstadium.Aveline’seyeswerescanningthecrowdlookingforGreer.
Jasonkeptahandoverhershoulders.“Greer’sbeenabitofadicklately.Ok,alotofadick.Mostlyit
revolvesaroundshoulderingtheblameforwhatJamiedid.”

“Whereishe?”sheasked.Shewasn’tgoingtotellJasonwhyshewasherebeforeshetoldGreer

eveniftheywerebestfriends.

“Onstage.ExactlywhereIneedtobe.Theyarewaitingformetogoon.”Hetuggedheralong

tellingeverysecuritypersontheysawthatshewaswiththeband.Finally,someonegotherapass.Once
hewassatisfiedthatnoonewasgoingtomesswithherorkickherout,Jasonledhertothestage.

“Look,hecan’tseeyouyet.Whoathere,scaryeyes.Putthemaway.I’mnotsayingthatyoucan’tsee

him,justthathecan’tseeyouyet.Heneedstoperformandifhecatchessightofyouthenhewon’t.He’ll
cavemanyououtofhereandthenwewillbewithoutasignerandabassist.”

Shefrownedbutunderstood.“Yeah,fine.Pointmade.”
Hepointedupasetofstairsthatledtothemainstage.“Oncewestartyoucangouptheretowatch.

Gotit?”

Shenodded.Jasonsmiledatheragainandpickedherupinahug.Itwasabitweirdsincehedidn’t

haveashirtonbutshelaughedallthesame.

“Iamsogladyouarehere.”
Sowasshe.

*****

AsJasonranoutonstage,hejumpedontoGreer’sback.Withafistthrownintheairhescreamedat

thecrowd.Theyscreamedback.Somethinghadputhisfriendintoagreatmood.Greercouldusesomeof
thatenergytoruboffonhim.

“What’sgottenintoyou?”heasked.
“Justagoodfuckin’night,”Jasonsaidgrinning.
Greerlaughed.“Apparently.Why’sthat?”
“You’llsee,brother.”WithafistpumpJasonranovertohisdrums.Roryfollowedafter.Thetwo

talkedtakingglancesinGreer’sdirection.ThenRorymouthedsomethinglike“noshit”andhetoowas
smilinglikeaidiot.

SoJasoncouldtellRorybutnotGreer?Fuck.Thatmeantthisthingthathadhypedthemuphadtodo

withhim.Usually,Greerwasallforsurprises.Butrightnowhejustwantedtogettotheonethingthat
broughthimanykindofjoylately.Music.

SawyersawsomethingwaspassingbetweenRoryandJasonbuthedidn’tmuchcareeither.Ittook

himafewweeksbutnowSawyerenjoyedbeingthefrontman.Hewasn’tastalkativeasNixwasbuthe
pulledtherestofthemintoitmore.Greerfoundhimselfinteractingwiththecrowdmoresointhelastfew
monthsthanhehadeverbefore.Itwasfunbutsometimeshemissedthedayswhenhecouldjustcomeand
play.

RoryleadthemintoHijinksandthenSawyertookoverattheendandpulledthemstraightinto

BottomBarrel.BythetimeSawyergotaroundtoactuallygreetingthecrowd,Greerwassmilingfromthe
highperforminggavehim.

“Gotagirlonstageright,”Kellysaidintheirearpieces.“Claimherasyoursorsecurityisgiving

hertheboot.”

SawyerandGreerturnedtolookasJasonandRoryyelledinunisonthatshewastostay.
“Holyhell,”Sawyersaidintothemicandechoedthroughthestadium.
Greerwastoostunnedtoevenhavefunctionoverhisvoice.Avelinewasstandingnotfifteenfeet

fromhimhavingsomekindofargumentwithasecurityguard.Herarmswerecrossedoverherchestand
shejustkeptshakingherheadbackandforth.Abackstagepasswasgrippedinherfingers.

Whentheguardputahandonherarm,Greersnapped.
AloudcrackrangoutoverthestadiumasGreerdroppedhisfavoritebasstothegroundandranoff

stage.HevaguelyrememberedhearingSawyertellthecrowdsomeexcuse.Heshouldhavesaid
somethinghimselfbutthatguywasabouttotouchAvelineandpullheraway.Hewastwicethesizeof
her.Thehellwiththat.Greeradvancedandpushedtheshoulderoftheguard.Hestumbledbackwarda

step.

“Backoff,”Greertoldhim.“Shestays.”
“That’sfinebutshecan’tbeuphere.I’mtryingtoescorthertothemainlevel.”
Greerwashavingnoneofthat.“Shestaysrightwheresheis.”
“Greer?”Camethevoicehehadmissedforthreeweeks.Avelinetouchedhisshoulderandhe

turnedtowardher.Shehadonat-shirtandcottonshorts,somethingheknewsheworearoundthehouseon
adayoff.Itwasnothinglikethedressshehadwornatthelastconcert.Nomakeupgracedherface,only
thethickbrownframesofherglasses.Herhairwaswindblownandfullofknotsthatfluffeditupand
madeitwild.

Shelookedbeautiful.
Forallheknewshewasheretobreakupwithhim,butinthatmoment,hedidn’tgiveashit.She

washereandthatwasallhecaredabout.Greerpulledherintohischestandliftedheroffhertoes.Ittook
himamomenttoregisterbutshewaslaughingasheswayedherbackandforthofftheground.Hefeet
danglingtoandfro.

Thatsound.
Ohgod,thatsoundwassweeterthananymusichehadeverheard.
Whenheputherbackontheground,sheheldontohim.Thelittletugshegavetokeephiminplace,

notreadytoletgowentstraighttohisheart.Heneededthis.Heneededhermorebadlythanheever
wouldadmit.

“I’msorry,”shewhisperedinhisear.
Everysinglethoughtceasedashetriedtofigureoutwhatshecouldpossiblybesorryfor.Thishad

allbeenonhim,onJamie.Hewasstillinconfusionwhenshepulledbackenoughtokisshim.

Nothingmatter.Shewassorry?Great.Sowashe.Theycouldbesorrytogetheraslongasitmeant

theygottoholdandkisseachother.

Thetouchwasshortbutwhenshepulledawayshewassmiling.
“Go,”shesaidwavingtosomethingbehindhim.
Greerwasn’tgoinganywhere.
“Greer,”shelaughed.“Youhavetogoback.We’lltalkaftertheshow.”
Shit.Theshow.
Hegroaned.Shelaughed.Rorysaidsomethingabouthimbeingwhipped.
Greerkissedheragain.Justapeckbutthebuzzbetweenthemwasamazingnonetheless.
“Imissedyou,”hetoldher.
Shenodded.“Imissedyoutoo.”
“Youaregoingtomisstheshowifyoudon’tgetbackouthere,”Sawyersaid.Hewasturnedaway

fromthemicandtalkingintoGreer’searpiece.“AndthenI’llbepissedandhavetousemyroomcardto
stealthebackbedroomfromyoutonight.”Fuckerwoulddoittoo.Hehadwonabetafewmonthsago
thatgavehimthechancetostealanyonenightinthebackbedroom.

Theguitaristplayedrough.
AvelinelookedaroundGreerandwavedtoSawyer.Hegaveheranod.“Youshouldgo.I’llberight

here,”shesaidagain.

“Don’tgoanywhere.”Helookedbacktotheguyswhowerebothhappyandannoyedathim.Jason

madethe“wrapitup”motionwithhisfinger.

“Wouldn’tdreamofit.”
Greerranbackoutofstagebutnevertookhiseyesoffher.Atone-pointSawyerhadtoaskhimifhe

caredtoplayforthegoodpeopleofHersheyforawhilebecausehehadslowlybeenturningtoward
Aveline.

Hewasallovertheplace.Probablytheworsthehadplayedsincehewasseventeen.Therewereso

manynotesthathemissedorjustdidn’tplayaltogetherthatJasonandRoryhadaverypublic
conversationwiththecrowdabouthisperformanceandwhetherornotheshouldbefired.Greerlaughed
itoff,nothingcouldupsethimtonight,notwithAvelineinview.

ChapterFifteen

“Usually,atthistime,we’dheadoffstageandtakeafewminutestodecidewhatsongweplay

whileyouallyelled'Encore'atus.Buttonightwhenwewalkoffstage,Icanguaranteethatwewillnotbe
walkingbackon…atleastnotwithoutGreer.Solet’sjustskipthatpartandjustplayanothertwosongs.”

GreerwashalfunpluggedwhenSawyerannouncedtheplan.Helookedupandglaredattheman.

Theydidn’thavetodoanencore.Itwasn’trequiredofthem,eventhoughtheyalwaysdid.

“Ouch,dude.Iflookscouldkill,”Sawyersaidwithashakeofhishead.“I’vegotanidea,though.”

SawyerhandedhisguitartoRoryandhewalkedoffstagetowardAveline.Hegreetedherwithsmileand
thenbentandtossedheroverhisshoulder.Sawyerturnedaroundandwalkedbackoutofstage.The
crowdroaredwithdelight.Greerwasonhisfeetprotestinguntilhesawherlaughing.Sawyerwalked
rightpassedhimwithasmirkanddepositedheronstage.Hetoldhertowaitandthenwalkedbackoff.A
minutelaterhereappearedwithanemptyboxfromoneofJason’sdrums.

“HereyagoDarlin’.Bestseatinthehouse.”
Avelinebeamed.“Thankyou.”
“Hopefullyyourboywillplaybetterifhe’snotstraininghisnecktolookatyou.”
Jasontappedhisstickstogetherfourtimes,settingtherhythmandwentinto“Sonofa.”Sheturned

andgavehimathumbsup.AvelinewasjustgoingwiththeflowofthingsandGreercouldnottakehis
eyesoffher.Infact,evenwithhertwofeetaway,hefeltthedistancewastoomuch.Henoddedforherto
moveover.Shesmiled,slidingoverandtappedthespacebesideher.Greersat,theirshouldersbrushing,
theirthighstouching,andplayedforher.

Shesangalongbesidehim.DancingalongthebeatJasonandGreerwereproducing.Thefrontfew

rowsofthestadiumhadstartedupalinedance.Everythingaboutthemomentmeldedintothemelodyand
producedamoodthatwasintoxicating.Ashisfingersplayedbymemory,hiseyeswerelockedonthe
beautifulwomandancinginherseatbesidehim.

Whyhadshechosennowtocome?Whynotcall?Whatmadehergetinhercaranddriveuphere

fromNorthCarolinatositonstagewithhimandjamout?Notoncehadsheturnedawayfromhim.Her
eyessteadyasshemethis,liketheyweretryingtoprovesomething.Shedidn’tseeJamie,thatmuchwas
clear.Notanymoreandhopefully,neveragain.

Avelineopenedhereyesandsmiledathim.
Nothingelsewasneeded.Greerstoppedmidstrokeandleanedovertokissher.Hethreadedhis

handinherhair,pullinghertohislips.Theykissedsoftly,testing,hopingthatthingswerestillthere
betweenthem.Shebitherlip,suckingitintohermouthastheirforeheadstouched.

“Didyoucomebacktome?”heaskedher.TheroarofthecrowdastheysangalongwithSawyer

overpoweredhiswords.Hewasn’tsureshehadheardhim.Wasn’tsureifhewantedherto.Greer
strokedherneckwithhisthumb,contentonjustsharingthismoment.

Avelinetippedthebrimofhishatup,lightinguphisface,exposinghimtoher.Hercheektwitched

intoalopsidedsmile.“Icouldn’tstayaway.”

Well,thatsettledit.
Greertookoffhisbass,laiditonthegroundthenscoopedherupinhisarmsandwalkedoffstage.

Therewerehootsoflaughterandshoutsofencouragementfromthefrontrows.Sawyergrinnedandkept
onsinging.Hewavedthemawaywitharollofhiseyes.Avelinewaslaughingsohardshewashaving
troublebreathing.Tearswerestreamingfromhereyesassheburiedherheadinhischest.

“Youarecrazy,”shesaidwhentheywereoffthestageandheadedawayfromtheshow.Greer

yankedouthisearplugsanddroppedtheminoneofhisroadie’shands.“Youcanputmedownnow,”she
saidashekeptwalking.

“Nevergonnadothat.”
Shesnortedbutdidn’tpresstheissue.Avelinelethimcarryherthroughthetentsandpassedsecurity

totheirbus.Hedidn’tlethergountilshewassafelylockedawaywithhim.Inthebackgroundtheycould
hearSawyersayinggoodbyetothefans.

“Greer,I’mreallysorryforhowIacted.”Avelinebegan.Sheseemedtotaketheband-aidapproach

andwantedtogetthemessypartsoutofthewayasquicklyaspossible.“Ishouldn’thavepushedyou
awaylikethat.Ineededyoubutfoundithardto-”

“Ava,”hesaidinterruptingher.“Stopapologizingforsomethingthatwasnotyourfault.Theonly

onetoblameisJamie.Iamnotgoingtofaultyouforyourreactionstowhathedid.Whatkindofman
wouldIbeifIaccusedyouforhisactions?Youaskedfortime,Igaveittoyou.Simpleasthat.”

Hehadwalkedtoher,heldherhandsandkissedthem.AnyangerGreerfeltoverthelastfewweeks

hadbeenathisbrotherandathimself.Neverwouldhehaveblamedher.

“Canweleaveitatthat,fornow?”
Shesighedandnodded.
“Whyareyouhere,Baby?Youcouldhavejustcalledmebutyoudidn’t.Why?”
Ashadowcrossedoverherface.Hethoughtshemisinterpretedhisquestion.Greerwaselatedshe

wasthere.Hejustwantedtoknowwhathadpushedhertodrivingthatfarwhenaphonecallcouldhave
donethesamething.

“Ilostmyjob,”shesaidlookingattheirhands.“Vino’smadesomecutbacks.”
“Awwhell,Ava.I’msorry.”Greertuggedherforwardintohisarms.Heknewhowmuchsherelied

oneverycentshemade.

“SoIhadsometimeonmyhandsandfigureditwastimeforaroadtrip.”Hertonewaslightbuthe

couldhearthemaskedsadnessbeneath.

“Well,whateverthereason,I’mgladyou’rehere,”Greersaidintoherhair.Shesighed,sinkinginto

hisarms.Greerwasn’tsurehowhe’ddoityet.Shewasaproudwomanwhopridedherselfonthemoney
shemadeandthecaresheprovided.Buthewouldhelpheroutsomehow.IfheenlistedRob,maybehe
couldsneakmoneytoher.Orpayforsomeofherbillswithoutherknowing.Hell,ifhecouldworkit,
maybehecouldpayherstudentloans.

Greercouldfeelthemomentthethoughtcrossedhermind.Avelinestiffenedandthenpulledback.

“Don’tdaregoofferingmemoney,Mr.McQueen.”

“Me?Iwouldn’tdreamofit.”Hegrinnedbutshewasn’tfallingforhischarades.Avelinekeptan

eyeonhimasheplayedinnocent.“Besides,youshouldn’tbeworryingoverthingssuchasmoneyright
now,”Greersaidcasually.Hetookasteptowardher,shetookoneback.

“Oh,”sheaskedtakinganotherstepback.Hereyesalightwithmischief.“AndwhatshouldIbe

worryingabout?”

Greergrinned.“HowmanytimesIcanmakeyoucomebeforewehavecompany.”Hepushedher

twomorestepsbackintothebedroomdoor.Hishandsfoundherwaistandtuggedonhershirttillhe
touchedflesh.

“Confidentarewe?”shesaidbuthervoicehadtakenonaheavytone.
Hishandsspreadoverhermidsectionandslowlypushedhershirtup,revealingtheskinhewanted

tosavor.Ashecuppedherbreastrevealingtheplumpmasses,Greerdroppedhisheadtotastethesweet
flesh.Ava’shandscametohishead,pressinghimon.Shewashot,ripewithlust.Ithadbeentoolong
sincetheylasttouchedlikethis.

Greerkissedhiswayupherchest.Helickeduphercollarboneandoverthecurveofhershoulder.

Ashisnosetrailedupherneck,heblewasoftstreamofairlettingthetinyhairsofherneckstandonend.
“I’vemissedyou,”hesaidintoherear.

Shemoanedlowinherthroat.Herhandswrappingaroundhisshouldersandpullinghimcloser.

Greersuckedonherneck.“EverynightIdreamtofyou…justlikethis.”Sheraisedherarms,hereyes
confirmingtheneedtheybothfelt.Greerpulledhershirtoverherheadanddroppeditbehindhim.This
timehishandstraveleddownherbody.Hetriedtotouchasmuchofheraspossible.Hisfingers
relearninghercurves.Aflickandherbrawasunhooked,joiningtheshirtonthefloor.Downherribcage,
dippinginatherwaistandfollowingtheS-curvetoherhips.Greernippedherlipandgrinnedlooking
downatherwithhoodedeyes.

Hethenkneltbeforeher.Ava’seyeswidenedandthensearedhimwithneed.Shelikedwherethis

wasgoing.WithasmileandanodAvaflippedthebuttonofhershortsopen.Hekissedherstomachashis
handstraveledupherthighstocupherbutt.Slippinghisfingersunderthematerialofhershorts,he
kneadedthehandfulsofflesh.

Greerhadhonestlythoughttheyweredone.Mostrelationshipsdidn’tcomebackfrom“timeand

space.”Andnowthatshewashereandalmostnakedinfrontofhim,hecouldadmitthatarelationshipis
whathewanted.Nothingcasual.Thiswouldbereal.

Hecurledhisfingersoverthewaistbandofhershortsandtuggedaninch.“Ava?”
“Notalking,”shecommanded.
Hegrinned.“Ava,lookatme.”Greerpulledhershortsoverherlusciousassbutstoppedjustbefore

herslitwasrevealedtohim.Henuzzledhermoundwhilehewaited.“Ava…”

“What!”sheshoutedandopenedhereyes.
“You’remygirlfriend,alright?”
Asimpatientasshewas,Avelinetookthetimetosmile,giggle,leanoverandkisshim.“Yeah,I’m

yourgirlfriend.”

“Onlyyou.”
Shenodded.“Nooneelse.”
Shestoodbackupandleanedbackagainstthedooragain.Herhipswiggled.“Soum…yougoingto

finishwhatyoustartedorwhat?”

Greerlickedhislips.“Three,”hesaidpullingdownhershortsandlettingthemfall.
“Three?”Herhandsthreadedinhishairandwereguidinghimtowhereshewantedhim.Hekissed

herswollenskin.“I’llgetyouoffthreetimesbeforewehavecompany.”

Asoftmoancamefromabovehim.Histonguedartedoutandlickeduptheseamofher.Withhis

thumbs,hespreadherlips.

“Andifyoudon’twin?”sheaskedbreathlessly.
“Ioweyouthreemore.”

*****

Theymadeittothebed.Atsomepointafterherfirstorgasm,Greertossedheroverhisshoulderand

droppedheronthebed.Hehaddroppedhisjeansandslidintoherfrombehind.Shecouldn’tcontainher
laughterasthebusrockedeversomuch.Greerhadbithershouldertokeepherquiet.Itworked.The
laughterpouredintoamoanandorgasmnumbertwohadhither.

Greerhadcollapsedontopofherafterhewasspentandrolledherontoherback.Theylaidnaked

onthebed,hisheadonherstomachasheglidedhisfingersoverherlegs.Avelinewascombingher
fingersthroughhishairasshethoughtabouthispromise.Shewasabouttosaysomethingwhenhis
travelinghandbeganexploring.

Therewerepeopleoutside.Shecouldhearthemutedvoicesofroadiespackinguptheotherbus.

Theconcertwasoverandtherestofthebandwouldsoonbecomingin.Avelineopenedhermouthtosay
thattheyshouldgetdressedwhenhisfingerslidbetweenherlipsandcircledherclit.

“Greer,”shesaidtryingtovoiceamillionthingsatonce.
“Yes,Baby?”Aroundherclitagainhewent.

“Ohgod.”
Hechuckled.
“Iknowwedon’thavemuchtimesolet'smakeithardandfast,hmmm?”
Herbackwasarchingashepickedupspeed.Themusclesinherabdomenpulsedwithagrowing

tension.Greerkeptmovingoverhersensitiveclitwithmoreandmorepressure.Twofingersenteredher,
pumpinginandout.Shefistedthesheetsoneithersideofher.

“I’m…uh…ohgod,I’mcoming.”
Rightasthedoortothebusslammedclosed,Avelineletoutashriek.
Alltalkingoutsidethebedroomceased.Avelinelaypanting,smallconvulsesstillrunningthrough

herasGreerpetherandbroughtherbacktoreality.Heliftedhisheadfromwhereithadkeptherstilland
kissedherstomach.

“Ithinkthey’vemadeup,”Rorysaidfromsomewhereonthebus.
Hereyeswentwideasshegroanedandcoveredherheadwithanearbypillow.
“LookslikeIlost,”Greersaidwithan“awwshucks”kindoftone.“Ioweyouthreemore.”
HishandbegantomoveandAvelinehithimwiththepillow.
Someoneknockedonthedoorashewasbeatenwithamillionfeathers.
“Sorrytointerruptbutwearegoingtobeleavinginanhour.”
“Ok,”Greersaidbetweensmacks.Hegrabbedthepillowandtossedittothefloor.“Comehere.”
Avelinegrimacedbutscootedovertohim.Heopenedhisarmsandshecrawledintothem.“Where

areyouheaded?”

Herheadroseandfellwithhisbreathing.Greerstrokedherbareshoulder.Thesimpleactgiving

hermorecomfortthanshehadfeltinweeks.

“Pittsburgh.
“Damn,”shesighed.
Ifshedidn’thavehercarshecouldhavegonewithandflownhome.Avelinetiltedherheadsoshe

couldlookathim.Hewasstaringattheotherendofthebed,hismouthturneddownandafurrowtohis
brow.Hewasthinkingaboutthetimetheycouldhavetogethertoo.Andjustlikethat,theywerebackto
normalwherethemainproblemstheyfacedweretimeandlocation.

“Whatareyoudoingnextweekend?I’mgoingtobein…”Greerpaused.Hecountedthedaysonhis

fingersandmuttereddifferentcitiesunderhisbreath.Whenhegottotherightday,asmilebrokeoutover
hisface.“VirginiaBeach.”

“Really?”
Henodded.“Yeah.”
“That’sclosetome,”shesaidlaughing.
“Sonextweekend?”
Avelineraisedherselfoffofhischestandkissedhim.“Yeah,nextweekend.”
Theygotdressed,orasmuchastheycould.Aveline’sclothingwasontheothersideofthedoor.

Shewasn’tevenmadbecauseGreerhadactuallythoughttoclosethedoor,whichwasmorethanherbrain
hadbeendemandingatthetime.

Hegaveherhist-shirtandwenttogoretrieveherthings.Asheopenedthedoor,aroundof

clappingandcheersgreetedhim.Shelookedatthedoor,dumbfounded.Why?Wasita“yaytheyhad
sex?”or“yaytheymadeup?”

Boysareweird.
“She’sascreamer.Gottalovethescreamers,”Rorysaidwithpride.
Avelineputherhandthroughthesmallopeningofthedoorandflickedhimoff.
Greerhandedheraballofclothing.Sheslippedonhershortsbutkepthisshirton.Thatwasnow

hers.

“Soyoutwolovebirdsbacktobeinglovebirds?”Jasonaskedassheemerged.Hesmiledsohard

atheritmadehercheekshurtjustwatching.Hehelduphishandforahigh-five.Godonlyknowswhyshe
indulgedhimandslappedatit.

Greercameupbehindherandwrappedhisarmsaroundher.“Howmuchtime?”
Sawyeranswered.“Notlong.Enoughforyoutogethertohercarandback.”
“What?”Roryasked.“Youmeanshe’snotcomingwith?”Thefactthathewasoffendedonher

behalfmeanttheworldtoher.

“’Fraidso.ButI’llseeyouguysnextweekend.”
Avelinesaidhergoodbyes.Knowingthatitwouldbejustafewdaystillshesawthemallagain

madeleavingeasier.OfcourseshewishedshehadmoretimewithGreerbutthingsweresettledbetween
themandthatalonefeltamazing.Hercarwaseasilyahalfmileaway.Arrivinglatetoaconcertwoulddo
that.Theywalkedthroughtheemptylothandinhand.Afewstragglerswerestillhangingaroundand
Greerhadtostoptwicetotakeapicture.Thedelayswerewelcomedones.

Athercar,Avelinedidn’twastetime.Therewouldbemanygoodbyesintheirrelationship.Long

distancewasasmuchaboutthegoodbyesasthehellos.“SoI’mgoingtosaygoodbyelikeI’mgoingto
seeyoutomorrow.”

Greerraisedaneyebrow.“You’rebeingweird,”hesaidgrinning.
“Iknow!Butit’sonlybecauseIdon’twanttomakeabigdealaboutleavingsincewewillbedoing

thatalot.Solet'sjustsaygoodbye,kissandbeonourway.”

Henoddedbutshecouldstilltellhethoughtshewasbeingweird.“Alright.GoodbyeAva.I’llsee

you…tomorrow.”

Avelinebeamed.Hewasplayingalong.Blesshisheart.“Bye.”Onhertoesshewrappedherhands

aroundhisneckandkissedhim.

Shewaiteduntilshewasonthehighwayheadingforhomebeforeshecalledhim.Ithadbeenthree

weekssincetheylastspokeandallthetalkingtheyhaddonethoselastfewhourswasphysical.Theyhad
alottocatchupon.

“Hey,”hesaid.“Everythingok?Youforgetsomething?”
“Nope.Allgood.JustfiguredthatIhaveafewhoursofdrivingtodoandwehaveafewweeksto

catchupon.”

Inthebackgroundsheheardagroan.“Ugh.Theyarebeingcute.Iforgothowsickeningitwaswhen

theywerecute.”

“SmackRoryforme.”
“Mypleasure.”

*****

BythetimeAvelinedrugherselfthroughherfrontdoor,thesunhadalreadycomeup.Everyinchof

herwastired.HaditnotbeenforGreertalkingtohermostofthetripandkeepingherawake,Aveline
wouldhavefallenasleepatthewheel.Bedwaswhereshewasheadedbutfirstsheneededtoseeher
mom.

Eachnighttheyhadamonitorhookedupsothattheycouldseeandhearhermomfromtheirroom.

Thatwaytheydidn’thavetogetupsooftentocheckin.Avelinemuteditsoshewouldn’twakeRob.Her
momwassleeping,whichgavehertheappearanceofthewomansheusedtoknow,justthinnerandpaler.
Avelinedidn’twanttoadmititbuttherereallywasn’tmuchleftofhermom.Sheusedtoseeher,inher
eyes,butinthepastfewmonthsthegleamhadgoneoutofthem.Thepersonsittingbeforehercouldbea
stranger.

Avelinehadsacrificedsomuchforthiswoman.Inthebeginningitwaseasy.Shecouldstilltalkto

hermomandsheknewthatsheunderstood.Therewereconversationseveniftheyweresilent.Butnow

therewasnothing.Avelinetriednotto,butresentmentwasbeginningtogrowandfester.

Itwashorribleofherbutitwasthetruth.
“Heymom,”shewhisperedandkissedhercheek.“Ijustgotin.Latenight,Iknow.”
Itwassadhowshestillwouldpausetogiveherachancetoanswereventhoughsheneverwould.
“SoGreerandIaregood.I’mgoingtoseehimnextweekend.Iwasthinkingofinvitinghimtostay

herewhenhehasabreaknext.”

Avelinehadneverletanyonecomeoverwhowasn’tamedicalprofessional.Itstartedbecauseshe

wantedtopreservehermother’simageandreputationwithherfriendsbutitquicklyturnedintosomething
lessnoble.Avelinewasembarrassed.Herfriendsandcoworkersknewabouthermother’sconditionbut
knowingandseeingweretwodifferentthings.

Greercomingtomeetherwasbig.
“Ireallylikehim,”sheadmitted.“Ithinkyouwouldhavelikedhim,too.”

ChapterSixteen

Theywerestillironingouttheirschedulesbutsofarthingswereworking.Itsurprisedand

exhilaratedAvelinethattheyweremakingthislongdistancerelationshipfunction.Fromwhatsheread—
latenightGooglesearcheswhenherfearswereattheirstrongest—toldherthatmostpeople’sbiggest
fearwasinfidelity.Which,sheunderstoodbutshedidn’tfeelitappliedtothem.AvelinetrustedGreer.
Maybethatwasthedifferencebetweenthemandallthoseinternetcouples.Theytalkedconstantlyandshe
feltopentotellhimanything.Hell,shehadbeenbitchingaboutPMS,herflowandcravingswaybefore
theyhadmetandwereathing.Communicationwasnotanissue.

Thethingthatkeptherupatnightwastheboneachinglongingtoseehim.Shemissedhimallday,

everyday.Whentheydidseeeachother,Avelinewassoworriedaboutsavoringhertimewithhimthat
hermindwouldrollconstantlywithcommentarylike,“Thisisfabulous.Ilovehisarms.Youhaveto
remembereverydetailaboutthismomentbecausenextweekwhenyouareathomealonewatchingTV
youaregoingtowanttoremembercuddlingwithhimonthecouchandwishingyouweredoingitthen.
It’sgoingtosuckwhenIleave.Howlongwillitbethistime?Daysorweeks?God,whatifitismonths?
Howmuchlongeristhistour?Howlongtillthenextone?Wait,whathappenedtothemovie?Itended?
Butitjuststarted.NoooothemomentisoverandImissedit.Whyishegettingup?Dinner…withthe
guys?Lesigh.”Everytimeshechastisedherselfforoverthinkingorjustnotshuttingthehellup,she
missedanothermoment.

Avelinekeptittogetherforthemostpart.Greerknewhercrazy,hehaddealtwithitforyears.He

oftenwouldkissherheadandtellhertostopworrying,evenwhenshehadn’tsaidathing.Healsoknew
howtodistractherwithsex.Itwasguaranteedtoturnoffhermindjustletherbeinthemoment.

Ithadbeentwoweekssincehehadflowninforthenight.Avelinehadbeennervousaboutbringing

himintoherhome,intothatpartofherlife,buthetookitinstride.Whenshehadtopausethemoviefor
anhourtogobathehermotherorwhenshegotupmultipletimesinthemiddleofthenighttocheckonher,
hedidn’tcomplain.He’dpullouthistabletandworkonasong.Afewtimesshehadhungoutintheother
roomjustsoshecouldhearhimwork.Thesoundwouldbedifferentwithhisinstruments,hehadtoldher
whenhecaughtherwatching.Buttheprogramheusedonhistabletallowedhimtocomposewhenhe
wasn’tinthestudio.Shehadnoideahowmanyinstrumentsheknewhowtoplay.WhereJasonknewthe
drumsandRoryandSawyerknewtheguitar,Greerhadlearnedasmanyinstrumentsashercould;bass,
guitar,banjo,violinandpianowereinhiseverydayrepertoire.WhenNixwasontourandtheyweren’t
stretchedsothin,hewouldhavebeenplayingmoreofthoseonstage.

Shefoundhistalentsexyashell.
Shehadjumpedhimonthecouchrightthenandthere.
Avelinefrownedasshelookedoutthewallofwindowsthatmadeupthefrontofthestore.Thiswas

thelongesttheyhadgonewithoutseeingeachothersincetheygotbacktogether.Thedistancewasgetting
toher.

“Allset?”sheaskedthewomaninfrontofher.ItwasFridayandasurprisinglybusyday.The

summercouldbelikethatastouristscameandwentonvacation.

Avelinecheckedoutthewomanandsentheronherway.Patty,herbossandherweretheonlyones

ontoday.Theywereclosingearlysothattheycouldclearoutthefloorandhavenewcarpetinginstalled.
Theyhadanhourleftandthenitwouldbeheavyliftingforthenextfewhours.

Itwasthechangeinlightingthatgotherattention.Theshiftfromdaylighttotheflorescentlightingof

thestorehadAvelinelookingtothefront.Alargebusrolledtoastoprightinfrontofthem.Afewpeople
turnedtheirheadstoseewhatthedisturbancewasbutnoneofthemknewwhatshedid.Rustedand
Recklesswasabouttomakeanappearance.

Avelinescootedoutfrombehindthecounterandquicklywalkedtothefront.Thedoorofthebus

openedandGreercameoutfirst.Withat-shirt,jeans,sandalsandabaseballhatfashionedonhishead,he
lookedashealwaysdid.Hisunchangingstylewarmedherheart.Greertookoffhiscapandrubbedthe
backofhishandoverhisforeheadthensettlethehatbackon.Greerlookedupatthedoorasshepushedit
open.Hesmiledashesawher.

“Whatareyoudoinghere?”sheaskedhimashewrappedherinahug.
“JustdrivingthroughonourwaytoAtlanta.Decidedtotakeapitstop.”Ohgod,hisvoice.Aveline

lovedhisvoice,hadlovediteversincetheyhadstartedcallingeachotheryearsago.Buttherewas
somethinglostinitoverthephone.YouhadtobeinpersontogetthefullGreerMcQueenvoice
experience.Ithadthisraspy,scratchyrawsoundthatwhenmixedwithsubtlesoutherndrawl,couldmake
awomanapuddleonthefloor.

Avelinepulledhiminforakiss.
“Howlongareyouherefor?”sheaskedinbetweenkisses.
“Aboutthreehoursbeforewegetyelledat.”
Well,thatwasamooddampener.Shehadworktodo.Theclothingneededboxedandthefixtures

neededtobemovedtothebackstoragearea.

“Savesomesmoochesforme,”Jasonsaidcomingdownthestairsofthebus.HepulledAveline

fromGreer’sarmsandpickedherup,swingingheraroundinacircle.Whenhesetherdown,Jason
kissedhercheekwithaloudsmack.

RoryandSawyerappearedbesideherandeachtookturnsgreetingher.Theyallseemedhappytobe

offthebus.Shewasnotlookingforwardtotellingthemthattheirpitstopwasawastedeffort.

AvelinetooktheminsideandPattyrantolockthedoor.“I’mclosingearly.Nooneiscominginfor

thelasttwentyminutesanyway.I’llhelptheselastfewwhyyouvisit.”Avelineneverlovedherboss
more.

“Closing?”Greeraskedperkingup.
Avelinefrowned.“Yeah,sowecanclearthefloor.Newcarpetinggoesintomorrow.”
“Oh.”Avelineknewjustwhathewasthinking,becauseshewasthinkingittoo.Thissucked.
HekepthisarmoverhershouldersandAvelinehadherhandsaroundhiswaist.Shewishedthey

couldhavemorethanthis,butitwouldhavetobeenough.

Pattyescortedthelastcustomerpassedthemandlockedupagainoncetheywereout.“Alright,now

thatweareclear,thismustbeyourboyfriendandhisband.”

Shesmiled.Pattywaslivingvicariouslythroughher.Shehadbeenhopingshe’dgettomeetGreer

oneday.“Patty,I’dlikeyoutomeetGreer,Jason,SawyerandRory.”TheguysputonthecharmandPatty
wasagoner.Thesmiles,thegrinsandtheroundsof“Nicetomeetyou,ma’am,”hitheratfullblast.Rory
hadbeenespeciallydotinguntilhecaughtsightoftheweddingring.

“Well,youwarnedme,”shesaidtoAvelinepullingherfromthegroup.Theguysformedalittle

circletodiscusssomething.Greerkepthiseyesonherbuthisalmostnonexistentsmilehadbloomedinto
somethingmore.Hewasfulloutgrinningather.ItwashardtolistentowhatPattywassayingwithhim
lookingatherlikethat.Ohwait,nowtheywerealllooking.Whatweretheyupto?

“Theyaresweet,though.Verydowntoearth.”
“Yeah,justwishtheycouldstaylonger.”
Pattysmiledinsympathyather.“IknowSweetPea.Bestrong.”
“Excuseme,MissPatty.Couldweborrowyou?”Sawyercalledfromtheirlittlehuddle.Hehadlaid

onthecountryswaggerprettythick.Usuallyhekeptthatsmileanddrawlforthestage.

Avelinewatchedwithinterestastheymaderoomforherbosstojointhemandthenexplained

whatevershenaniganstheyhadbeencomingupwith.Probablysomethingtodowithgettingheroutof
thereforafewhours.Whatevertheideawas,Greerhadagreedwholeheartedly.Hekeptsmilingather

butnowhewasonhisphonetalkingandnodding.Continuingtheplans.Pattywouldnevergoalongwith
it.Therewastoomuchworktodoandthatswagdidn’tworkonher.Pattycouldseethroughbullshit.It’s
whyshemadeanexcellentboss.

“Whatthe…”
SawyerandPattyshookhands.
NowAvelinefrowned.Whatexactlywasgoingonoverthere?
Pattypointedtodifferentareasaroundthestoreandthentheguyssplit.SawyerandRorywenttothe

frontandstartedtoputtogetherboxeswhileJasonheadedtothestorageroom.“Wejustgotafewmore
helpinghands,”PattysaidproudlyasshecamebacktoAveline.

“What?”
“Thesefinegentlemenhaveofferedtohelppackandmoveeverything.”
Avelinenarrowedhereyes.“Inexchangeforwhat?”
Pattylaughed.“Youknowthemwell.Theywillhelpusaslongasyougetthenexttwodaysoff.

Sinceweareclosedanyway,Ifigureditwasagooddeal.”

“Butwhatabouttomorrow?”Theyweregoingtoworkonthenewfloorplanwhilethecarpeting

wasbeingreplaced.

Pattywavedawayherconcern.“It’snotimportant.We’llputitbackthewayitisnowandwe’ll

changethingsupanothertime.”

“Butwhowillyougettoputeverythingback?”
“Jerry.That’swhathusbandsarefor.Plus,IhaveKyliescheduledtohelponSunday.”
Greerhadwalkedover,hisphonecallover,andpulledherintohischest.“It’sallsettled.Youare

comingtoAtlantawithus.”

“Excuseme?”Holdup.Didhenotrememberallofherobligations?Suretheyfixedthewholework

thing—withoutaskingher—butshehadhermomtofigureoutandRobtotalkto.Avelinealsohadan
interviewforawaitressingpositiononSundayatadiner.

“I’vegotanursesetupforyourmom.RobisfixingitupandI’mpayingforit.Don’tfuss.I’m

stealingyouawaysoIpay.”Greersmirked.“Robalsosaysthatyoudon’twanttoworkatthatdiner
becauseyoucandobetterandtheysellcrackinthebackalley.”

Avelinebithertongue.Shedidn’tlikebeinghandled.“Don’tyouthinkyoushouldhaveaskedme

beforegoingaheadwitheverything?”

Pattytookafewstepsbackandthenwalkedofftogivethemsomeprivacy.Greerwatchedhergo

andthenputahandonAveline’sarmandpulledherbacktowardthedressingrooms.“See,ifIaskedyou
abouttheplanthenyouwouldhavefoundevenmorereasonsnottodoit.Spontaneityisnotyourstrong
suit.Butthat’swhyyouhaveme.”Hegrinnedthatdevilishsmilethatcouldgethimoffofmurder.“Ikeep
youonyourtoesandmakelifeinteresting.”

Hemayhaveapointbutthatdidn’tmeanshehadtolikeit.“Greer,Ican’tjustupandleave.”
“Yes,Baby,”hesaid,hiseyessofteningwithunderstanding.“Youcan.”
Everytimeshedidthis.Everydamntimeshewasleftdebatingonwhethersheshouldgoorstay.

Livelifeorhandleherresponsibilities.Whenwouldshefindthatbalance?Wasthereevenabalanceto
befound?

“Ava,youcansaynoifyouwantto.Butyouwanttocome,Icanseeitalloveryourface.It’sokto

getoutandbefreeeverynowandthen.Youdon’thavetodoitallalone,notanymore.Letmepayfora
nurseandcomewithustoAtlanta.Please?”

Shepursedherlipsbutnodded.“Yeah,ok.Butnomoregoingaroundmetogetyourway.”
Greerignoredthatlastpartandkissedher.Soonshewassmiling.Oncesheacceptedthatshehadno

controlinthissituationandthatshejusthadtogowiththeflow,thingsgotaloteasier.Theguyskeptthem
laughingforhours.Neverhadshehadsomuchfunatworkbefore.Itdidn’ttakelongforRoryandSawyer

togofromdutifulworkerstorunwaymodels.AsSawyer,Greer,AvelineandPattyworkedonpacking
anddismantling,theyweregivenadragshowtoremember.

“Ireallythinkyoumissedyourcalling,”shetoldRoryafterSawyertoldthemalltogetbackto

work.Hestillhadonanemeraldgreendressandwhitesunglassessoitwashardtotakehimseriously.

“Youmayberight.Ifthisbandthingdoesn’tworkoutI’llcomehereandstealyourjob.”
“Howaboutyouopenamen’sversionofthisandIcancomeworkforyou?”Avelinehandedhima

loadedboxandgottoworkontheemptyoneatherfeet.

“Hmmmm,”hesaidashethoughtitover.“Maybe.Notsureit’dbeworthit.Thislibrarianbook

wormthingyouhavegoingonisadorableandall,butIdon’tneedGreerpunchingmeeverytimeoneof
mycustomershitsonyou.”

Shenodded.Hehadapoint.
TheywerethreehoursintoitwhenSawyer’sphonestartedtoring.Allofthemerchandisewas

packedawayandtheywereworkingonthelastofthefixtures.Greertoldhimtoignoreit,whichhedid,
butbythethirdcalltheywereallgettingannoyed.

“What?”hebarkedaftercavingandansweringit.Jasonletoutagroan.
“Weneedanotherhour.No.Well,Idon’tcare.Tellthemtogoahead.Yeah.Fine,ok,butwe’vegot

abitmoreworkhere.Noneofyourbusiness.Uhhuh.Right,wellwe’llseeyouinAtlanta.”Hehungup
andsethisphoneonsilent.“Wehavetogetmovinghere.Avelinedoyouneedtogohomebeforewe
leave?”

“Yes,I-”
“Noshedoesn’t,”Pattyinterrupted.Avelinefrownedather.“Grabwhatyouneedfromhere.Lord

knowsyouhaveenoughcompmoneyrackedupthatyouneveruse.”

“Really?”
“Sure.Goscavengewhilewefinishup.”
Greerhelpedherfromthefloorwhereshehadbeensortingthroughwallbrackets.Togetherthey

wenttothebackandbeganhuntingdownclothinginalltheboxestheyhadjustpacked.

“Probablyshouldhavedonethisasweputallthisaway.”
“Probably,”sheagreed.
Greerseemedtoknowwhathewaslookingfor.Hewouldopenabox,siftthroughitabitthengrunt

andmoveon.Avelinewouldfollowandpullafewitemsoutbeforetapingtheboxbacktogether.

“Ahhah!Hereitis.”Greerpulledanavyhi-lodressfromtheboxandheldittriumphantly.Itwas

oneshehadadmiredwhenitcameinbutshehadnoneedforsomethingsodressy.“MysweetAveline,
wouldyoucaretoaccompanymeonadatewhenwegettoAtlanta?”

Shesmiled.Theyhadnevergoneonanofficialdatebefore.“Really?”
Hetossedthedressinherpile.“Yeah,Iwanttodressyouupandshowyouoff.”Hetuggedherin

forakissandthenspunheraroundanddippedher.“AndIwanttodance.”

Shelaughed,feelingwayoutofherleague.Themostexperienceshehadwithdancingwithanother

personwasswayingbackandforthatthepromtotheoneslowsongtheyplayed.Allofherdancing
experiencewasofthelinevariety.

Seeingtheapprehensionherface,Greeradded,“Don’tworry,I’lllead,”andspunheraroundagain.

ChapterSeventeen

BeingontheroadwithRustedandRecklesswasbecomingoneofherfavoritethings.Notjust

becauseoftheGreerfactorbutbecauseshereallydidlovetherestofthem.Jasonwasthebestfriend.His
loyaltywastoGreerbuthewentoutofhiswaytomakeherfeelincluded.Rorywastheonewithallthe
inappropriatejokesandhadnofilteroncehegotstarted.Sawyerwastheoldsoulwhowatched
everythingwithasmirkonhisfacebutalwaysreadytojumpinifthingsgotoutofhand.Heparticipated
intheirshenanigansbuttoAveline,itlookedlikeheheldback.OntheirdrivetoAtlantashehadheard
himonthephonecallinghospitalsandrehabs.ItalwayswentbacktoNixwithhimandherheartbroke
watchinghimfightforhislostbrother.

ThereweretwoshowsinAtlanta,neitherofthemwerethatnight,though.Aftercheckingintothe

hotel,Greerhadhandedherthegarmentbagwithherdressandtoldhertobereadybyseven.Avelinehad
laughedinhisface.Heseriouslythoughtsheneededthreehourstogetready?HAH!Shower,hairand
makeupwouldtakeheranhour,tops.

Still,helefthertoprimp.Soafterdoingallofthosethingsshestillhadenoughtimetositdownand

watchthemajorityofHarryPotterandtheChamberofSecretsonTV.Asmuchasshewaslooking
forwardtotheirdate,AvelinewouldhavebeenquietcontenttositandwatchtheHPmarathontoo.

“Youready?”Greeraskedknockingonthedoorandswipinghiskeycardwithatbeep.
“Iam,”sherepliedfromherspotonthebed.SheturnedofftheTV,scootedfromthebedand

adjustedherdress.WhenshelookedupitwastoGreersmilingather,takingeveryinchofherin.

“Youlookbeautiful.”Whenhesaidit,sofullofsincerityandawe,shefeltbeautiful.
“Thankyou.Youcleanupwell.”Hedid.Hereallydid.Greerworeacharcoalsuitwithablack

shirt,notieandblackbootsthatclickedonthetileofthefoyer.Itwassimple,understatedandverymuch
Greer.Hewasanofussguywhenitcametoclothes.

“Ready?”heasked,hissmilebrilliantandbeautiful.
Shenoddedandgrabbedherbag.
Shehadexpectedfancyconsideringhowtheyweredressedandallbutwhatshegotwasadivebar.

Greerassuredherthathemeanttocomehereandpulledherinside.Itwasafulloncountrybar.There
werepeopledancingtoaliveband,abigwoodenbarthattookupthelengthoftheplace,openraftersand
afloorwornwithageanddancing.Thebartenderwhistledatthemandpointedtoasmallgroupingof
tables.Oneofthemhadareservedsignonit.

“That’sus,”hesaidandsteeredherinthatdirection.
“Areweoverdressed?”sheaskedinalowvoice.
Helaughed.“Here?Notatall.Aslongasyourmoney’sgood,Mollywillletanyonethroughthe

doors.Thefoodisexcellent,thedrinksarecoldandthemusicisthebestintown.Wegotstartedinplaces
justlikethisbackhomeandevenplayedhereatimeortwo.”

“Really?”Avelinenowlookedaroundwithmoreinterest.
Henodded.“Yep.IalwaysstopinwhenI’mintown.”
“Youtwoneedsometime?”awaitressasked.Avelinehadn’tseenhercomeup.Sheopenedher

menubutGreerspokebeforeshecouldgetpasttheappetizers.

“Twospecials.I’llhavealagerandshe’llhaveacider.TellMollyit’sforGreer.”
Thewaitressnodded.“Shealreadyknowsyou’rehere.I’llbebackwiththebeer.”
Avelinewantedtoknowwhatthespecialswere,shehadn’tseenaboardwhentheycameinbut

Greerwasstandingandpullinghertoherfeet.“Let’sdance,”hesaidexcitedly.Shehadnootherchoice
buttofollowashertuggedherthroughthecrowdtothedancefloor.

Truetohispromise,Greerdidlead.Hepulledherrightincloseandsnaggedafewkissesaswell.

Ashishandslidtoherwaist,hegatheredherrighthandinhis.Avelinelookedaroundtoalltheother
peopledancingwholookedliketheyknewwhattheyweredoing.HereyesmetGreer’s.Hesitation
meetingeagerness.“Youready?”heaskedswayingthembackandforth.

Avelinenoddedandatonce,theywereintheswingofthings.Inmiddleschool,theydidawhole

dancesegmentingymclass.Shehadtolearntowaltz,swingdance,linedanceandtwostep.Ithadbeen
tenyearssinceshelastdidanythingmorethanaswayorgrind.Greerpulledheralongaddinglittle
encouragementsastheywent.Onceshestoppedlookingatherfeetandfoundthecouragetolookup,he
wiggledhiseyebrowsandgaveheraspin.Whenshefacedhimagain,hersmileignitedwithpleasure.

“Fun,ain’tit?”
Oh,itwas.Avelinelaughedasmuchasshesmiled.Theyspunaround,dipped,twosteppedandjust

hadfunwithoutcaringwhowatched.Greerspunheralittletooenthusiasticallyonetimeandherskirt
flareduptothepointwhereshefeltabreeze.Aveline’sfaceturnedredwhentheycametogetheragain.
Greerheldherclose,hismouthrightbesideherearandsaid,“I’mhavingaproblem.SeeononehandI
hopethatyouarewearingsomebigwhitepantiesthatcoverandhidewhatismine,butontheother,I
hopeit’ssomethingskimpy,likealacylittlethong,soIcanshowoffwhatasexygirlfriendIhave.”

Hiswordschangedtheredofhercheeksfromembarrassmenttolust.“Suchaconundrumyouface.”
“Suchislife,”hesaidwithasighandspunheragain.Thistimetheycametogetherbacktofront.He

kissedherneckasherarmscrossedherbodyinahug.

“Wouldyouliketoknow?”Avelineasked,theirbodiesswayinginsyncwithoneanother.
Hishandstraveleddowntoherass.“No,I’llfindoutsoonerorlater.”
Itwouldbelater.Muchlaterastheyfoundout.Greer’sphonerang.Hepulledback,keepingone

handlinkedwithhers,andfoundhisphoneinhispocket.

Hegruntedatthescreenandthenansweredthecall.“What’sup,man?”
Therewasanimmediatechangeinhim.Theeasyswayofhishipsandconfidentstepsfaltered.

Greer’sfacelostthateuphoricsmileithadwornallnight.Helookedatherandblinkedafewtimesasif
tryingtodigestwhatthecallerwassaying.

“What’swrong?”sheaskedastheystoppedmovingalltogetheronthefloor.
“Yeah,no.I’mclosest.We’llgo.Don’t.It’sfine.Iwantto,ok?Yeah.Bye.”
Ashehungup,Greerjuststaredather.Evenassheaskedhimwhathappenedandwhohadcalled,

hestayedthere,frozenwithafrown.Avelinewastheonetopullhimfromthedancingandbacktotheir
tablewheretheirbeerswaited.Hissuddenchangeindemeanorworriedher.Shepushedhimdowninhis
seatintentongettinganswers.“Whowasthat?”

*****

“ItwasSawyer,”hesaid.Greerwasn’tsurehowmuchtotellAveline.TheyhadallkepttheNix

issueawayfromherbecauseitwastheirburdentobare.Butthemoreshewasaround,themoreshesaw,
themoresheknew.

“HethinkshehasaleadonNix.”
Hereyebrowsroseinsurprise.“Really?That’sgreat!”
Whatshedidn’tknowwasthatalloftheirleadsfellflat.Theycamefromfans,media,calling

aroundtohisoldcontactsandhangouts,callinghospitalsandrehabs.Eventhoughtheyneverpannedout,
theguysstillfollowedthroughwiththem.Sincetheywereinthecityhewasspottedin,theywouldcheck
itoutthemselves.Thosetimeswhentheywerehundredsofmilesawaytheyhadtosendfriends,familyor
hiredhelptotrackhimdown.

“Itwasonthefanboards.Thepictureisshitbutthey’reright,itlookslikehim.Shorterhairbut

itcouldbeNix.It’salongshotbutIgottaknow.AndIknowthisisyourdatenightwithAvabutyou’re
closest.Hecouldleaveanyminute…”

Sawyerhadsoundeddesperate.Themanalwaysdidwhenacaselikethiscamealong.Whenthey

wereinthesamecityasthesighting,Sawyerwasconvinceditwashim.Hewantedsobadtobetheone
tofindNix,tobringhisbrotherhome.

Greerwoulddoit,ofcoursehewould.Datenightwouldcomeagain.Avelinewouldunderstand.
Hestillfeltlikeanasshole,though.
“Doyoumindifwe…”
Thewaitressappearedandplacedtwoplatesinfrontofthem.Avelinelookedatthemwithlonging

butaskedforhertoboxthemup.

“Let’sgetoutofhere,”shesaidgrabbinghishand.
Therewasnodoubtaboutit,shewasthebestwomanontheplanet.
TheclubNixwasspottedatwastenminutesfromthem.Itwascompletelyanoutsideplacewitha

bigdeckandatwentysomethingcrowd.Abeerpongtournamentwasgoingonsotherewerealotof
peopletosiftthrough.GreerledAvelinearound,theirhandslinked.Eachbartenderandwaitressthey
cameacross,GreershowedNix’spicture.Onesquintedlikeshethoughtshemighthaveseenhimbutno
onecouldgiveadefiniteanswer.

Evenaftercombingtheplacetwice,Greerdidn’twanttogiveup.Theywouldstayforawhile

longerandkeepaneyeoutforNix.Thisplacewasasgoodasanytofinishtheirdate.Heorderedthem
somedrinksandfoundasmallhightoptabletositatandpeoplewatch.Aveline,theangelofpatience,
justwentwiththeflow.Shedidn’tasktoomanyquestionsorholdhimbackwhenhewantedtomake
anotherround.Evenwithhisattentionsplitbetweenherandthecrowd,shedidn’tcomplain.

“Sawyer’shere,”shesaidlookingtothebarentrance.
Theguitaristwaslookingabitfrazzledashealwaysdidwhensomethinglikethiscameup.Greer

wavedhimdownbutlethimknowwithasmallshakeofhisheadthatNixwasn’tthere.

“Longshot,right?”hesaidingreetingwhenhegottothetable.“Sorrytobargeinonyourdate.You

lookbeautiful,Aveline.”Sawyerkissedhercheek.

“Thankyouanditwasnobother.”Avelinehadn’thadachancetotouchherbeersoshesliditover

toSawyer.“Ithinkyouneedthismorethanme.”

Helookeddownatthebottlewithamixofgratitudeandhatred.Hewantedthenumbnessbutknew

thiswasoneofthereasonshisbrotherwasgone.Greerknewwhatwasgoingthroughhismind.Theyhad
talkedaboutitlateonenightafewmonthsago,rightafterheleft.Hehatedthesubstanceforwhatithad
donebutalsoknewitwastheman,notthedrinkthatwasmostlytoblame.Nixhadanaddictive
personality.Helatchedontothingsandranthemdry.Videogames,whenhewasyounger.Thenmusic,
girls,alcoholanddrugs.GettingintothemusicbusinesshadsetNixupfortheperfectstorm.Sawyer
blamedhimselffornotdoingmoretodiscouragetheseaddictions.

“Thanks,”hesaidlettingnumbnesswinout.
Hewasrightaboutonething,itwasalongshot.Greerwouldbelyingifhedidn’tsayhegotjusta

tinybitexcitedeverytimetheyfoundaleadonNix.Becausethatcouldbetheonetimeitwasreal.The
onetimehe’sjustsittingthere.Theonetimeheturnsaround,smirksandnodshisheadtojoinhim.

“I’msorrywedidn’tfindhim,”AvelinesaidgivingSawyer’shandasmallsqueeze.
Heshrugged,hisshouldersjerkingupasifhehadatick.Itwasmeanttobecasualbutcameout

stiff.“Whenhewantstobefound,hewillbe.Whetheritwillbedeadoralive,isanothermatter.”Sawyer
tookaswigofhisbeer.Theuglytruthalwayshithimthehardest.“Untilthen,weallwilljustkeep
prayingthatheissafeandkeeplooking.”

*****

Thethreeofthemlefttogether.SawyerhaddesiretostaybutGreerwouldn’tallowit.Itwouldbe

entirelytooeasyforSawyertofalldownthesamepathasNix.Notdrugs,heneverhadanyinterestin

them.Buthecouldletthenumbnesswinoutandfallintodrinkingasasafetynet.Sawyerhadoncebeen
theonetogoshotforshotwithNixeverynight.Butwhenshitgotbad,hecutback.

Itwouldbenothingforhimtoreachforthatsecurityblanketagain.
SoGreerdrughimalongandwalkedhimtothesuitetheguyswerestayingin.HepassedSawyeroff

toJasonwhowaswatchingamovieandbidthemgoodnight.

“Shouldwestay?”Avelineaskedastheywalkeddownthehalltotheirownroom.“Helookslike

hecoulduseyouguys.”

Greershookhishead.“HehasJasonnow.TheywillwatchGodzillaandbingeonpizza.”He

swipedhiscardthroughthedoorlock.Avelinewalkedinfirstandturnedonthelight.Greerfollowedand
turnedoffthelight.

“Uh,Greer?”sheasked.ThecurtainshadbeenleftopenandthelightsofAtlantailluminatedthe

room.Avawassilhouettedintheseneonblazes.Hecouldn’tseeherfacebuthedidn’tneedto.Her
featureswereingrainedinhismemory.

“IbelievethatIsaidIwouldbefindingoutlaterwhatdelightsyouhaveformeunderyourdress.”

Greersteppeduptoher,hisbodyinharmonywithhers.Hetrailedhisfingersdownherarm,cascading
withbarelyatouch.Hishandengulfedhersandwhenhehadfoundit,Greertookthepursefromher
fingersanddroppedittothefloor.

Greerclaspedhernowfreehandwithhisandwithanarmholdinghertohim,hebegantoswayas

theyhaddoneonthedancefloorhoursearlier.Thiswasmoremagnetic,though.Itwasabouttemptation,
notflirtation.Heliftedherhandtohislipsandkissedherfingers.Shefoundthemotionintoxicatingand
letherheadrollback.Greerfollowedthemovementanddippedher.

Ashebroughtthembacktogether,Avelineopenedhereyesinthedimlylitroom.“You’relucky,”

shesaidinavoicethatwasmoreofapurr.

“Ohyeah,”hechuckled.Damnstraighthewaslucky.“Why’sthat,Baby?”
Sheleanedintohim,hermouthbyhisear.Herbreathwarminghisskin.
“Iputoutonthefirstdate.”
Hewasveryluckyindeed.

ChapterEighteen

Thenoveltyoftheconcerthadbeguntowearoff.Avelinehadbeentohalfadozenofthematthis

pointandalthoughtheywerestillfun,itwasn’treallyspecialanymore.Shewasjustoneofthebandas
theywalkedfromthegreenroomtothestage.GreerhadhismomentwithJasonastheydidtheirmind
meldthingandthenwouldcomeovertokissher.Shebecamepartoftheroutineandshelovedit.

Todayastheychanged,SawyerandGreerhadbothputonsuperheroshirts.Itwaspurelyan

accidentbutJasonandRorytookofflikeacoupleofpuppiesandranwithit.Likegigglinggirlstheyshut
themselvesinthebackbedroomandsearchedtheirclothesformatchingshirts.

Sawyer,GreerandAvelinewentonaheadwhiletheladiesprimped.
Noonegottoseewhattheyhadchosenastheirsuperherobeforetheywentonstage.Sawyerwas

annoyedthattheyweren’ttherebutGreertoldhimtohavefaith.Afterakissoneachoftheircheeks,
Avelinesentthemouttogreetthemasses.

“Aaaaaaatlanta!Howwedoingtonight?Wewillgetstartedhereoncetheothertwoidiotsgeton

stage.SeeGreerandI,thepunctualones,happenedtobothbewearingComicbookshirtstoday.”

Greerleanedintothemicandinhisdeepestvoicesaid,“I’mBatman.”Thecrowdcheered.
Sawyerwasnotimpressed.“WhateverBatman.CantheFlashgetsomelove?”Morecheering.

“Theylikememore,”hesaidwithagrin.“Soanywaythegirlsarepickingouttheiroutfitsfortonightand
willbealongshortly.”

RorysteppedbesideAvelineashehookedhisguitararoundhisneck.“He’sjustjealous,”hetold

herwithawinkandwalkedout.

“We’rehere,calmdown.”
“Whatthehellisthat?”GreeraskedashetookinRory’sorangeshirt.
“I’mAquaman,”Rorysaidproudly.
Sawyerturnedtakingthemicwithhimsohecouldstillbeheardandasked“IknowI’mgoingto

regretitbutwhyAquaman?”

AmischievousgrinspreadacrossRory’sface.Anyonewhosawitknewitmeanttrouble.“Because

helikestogodownunder.”

BehindthemJasonhadsnuckbacktohisdrumkitandletoutaba-dum-tishonthedrums.
GreerturnedbacktoJasonandsnortedoutalaugh.Avelinecouldn’tseewhohedecidedtowear

butGreerwaslosingit.Sawyercaughtsightandjustshookhishead.

“Dude,thereissomethingwrongwithyou.”
Jasonstood,hisarmsfistedonhiships,aredsheetknottedathisneckandhungdownhisback.

Jasonbeamedatthecrowdandthensaid,“That’sright,bitches.I’mWonderWoman.”

Theyputonagreatshow.TheheavyweightofNix’sdisappearancewasslowlyliftingasthey

adaptedtothenewnormal.Theirdynamichadchangedbutitworked.Avelinewonderedwhatwould
happentothebandsheknewwhentheyfoundhim.

Energywashightonight.Peopledanced,theysangalong.Itfueledtheguys.Agoodcrowdcould

makeorbeatashow.Tonightitwasmakingit.

“Excuseme,MissAveline?”
Sheturnedfromherspot,herbackstagepassinherhand.“I’mallowedtobehere,”shesaid

defensively.

Themansmiled.HisnamebadgetoldherhisnamewasWaltandhewassecurity.“Ofcourse.It’s

actually…doyoumindifwestepawayfromthestageforamoment.It’shardtohearyou.”

ShetookalookoveraGreerwhowaslinedancingwithSawyerandRory.Playing,singingandline

dancinginperfectharmony…thatshitwastalentrightthere.Hewassocaughtupinthesongthatshe

didn’tthinkhewouldnoticeifshewalkedawayforamoment.“Sure,butlet’smakeitquick.”

Theywalkedtillthemusicwasn’tasloud.Waltwasholdingaphoneandhandedittoher.“I’m

sorrytointerruptbutthegentlemansaiditwasanemergencyandIneededtofindyourightaway.”

Shefrowned.“Doyouknowwhoitis?”
“AMr.RobBriner.WouldyouliketotakeitintheGreenroom?”
Avelinenodded,anumbfeelingbeginningtospreadthroughherchest.“Yes.Yes,please.”Walt

escortedhertothegreenroomandshewasthankfulforit.Sheprobablywouldhavegottenlosthaditnot
beenforhim.Shecradledthephonetoherchestastheywalked.Waltkickedsomeoneoutoftheroomfor
herandsaidhewouldberightoutsideifsheneededhim.

“Hello?”shesaidintothereceiver.Hervoiceshookjustslightly.
“Babygirl?Ohthankgod.I’vebeentryingtoreachyou.Iknowyoudon’ttakeyourphonewithyou

whenyou’rebackstagebutyoureallyneedtostartcarryingitwithyou.I’vebeencallingeveryoneIcould
butthenGreerisprobablyonstageandJasonwouldbetoo.”Hewasrambling.Robneverrambled.

“Whatisit,Rob?Whathappened?”
Hewassilentamomentandthatmadetheanticipationsomuchworse.“It’syourmomma.She’shad

astroke.I’matthehospitalnowandIthinkyouneedtocomehome.”

HadachairnotbeenbesideherAvelinewouldhavefallentothefloor.“H-howbad?”
“It’sbad.I’llworkongettingyouaplaneticket.Justgetthereassoonasyoucan,ok?”
“I’llleavenow.Ijustneedmypurse.”Shelookedaround.Theroomlookingforeigntoher.Where

hadsheputherthingsearlier?

“I’lltextyoutheinfo.Besafe.”
Theyhungupassherememberedshehadputitinalocker.Waltwaswaitingforherwhenshe

openedthedoor.“I…Ineedtogo.”

Henodded.“Ifigured.Ihaveataxiwaitingforyououtside.”
“Youdo?”sheasked.Hestartedwalkingherforwardandsoontheyweregoingouttheexittothe

parkinglot.

“Hetoldmethatyourmotherwasinthehospital.I’msorrytohearit.Ihopesherecovers.”
“Thanks,”Avelinesaidnumbly.
Everythingwashappeningsofast.Sheknewtherewerethingsshewasforgettingbuthermindjust

keptgoingbacktohermom.Robhadnodetailsforherotherthanitwasastroke.Thedoctorshadjust
beguntotesthertoseehowbadthedamagewas.Therewerenoanswerstobehad.

Sheshouldbethererightnow.Sheshouldhave…
Astrangledcrycameoutofhermouth.Shecoveredthesoundbutanotheronewascoming.Her

shouldershookandhereyesglossedoverwithtears.

“Shhhh.Nowdon’tcryhoney.I’msureshe’llbefine.”Walt,blesshisheart,putahandonherback

andgaveitarub.

Thetaxipulledupasshewasgatheringherselftogether.Theflightwouldonlytakeanhourandshe

wouldbehomesoonenough.Onceshegottotheairportshe’dcallRobbackandhopefullyhe’dhave
somethingtotellher.Rightnow,wonderingtheworstwoulddohernogood.

“I’msorry,Walt.Thankyouforyourhelp.”
“Noworries,Ma’am.WouldyoulikemetotellMr.McQueenwhereyouwent?”
Shit.Greer.
Shehadn’tevenconsideredwhathemustbethinkingrightnow.“Ifyouwouldn’tmindthatwouldbe

agreathelp.I’llcallhimonceI’mhome.”

“I’llinformhim.Haveasafeflight.”

*****

GreercarriedJasonoutonhisback.Theyranacrossthestage,pumpedupfromanawesomeshow.

Greerdepositedthedrummeroffstageandlookedforhiswoman.Heneededakiss.

“Fuckingfantasticshow,”Rorysaidashejoinedthem.Sawyerwasstilloutonstagetossingpicks

intothecrowd.

“Where’sAvalicious?”Jasonaskedashehelpedhimselftoabottleofwater.HisWonderWoman

shirthadonlymadeitfoursongsbeforeitwassoakedthrough.

“Idon’tknow.”Greerknewshehadbeenthereearlier.
“Probablyheadedbacktotheroombeforetheencore.”
Itwaspossiblebutsheneverleftwithouthimbefore.“Yeah,probably.”
Sawyerfinallymadehiswayoffstage.Hetookoffhisguitarandhandedittoawaitingroadie.

“Thanksman.”Jasonhandedhimabottleofhislicoricetea.Theyallthoughtitwasdisgustingbutever
sinceSawyersteppedintoNix’sshoes,hefounditreallyhelpedhisthroatafteraperformance.Sawyer
openedthebottleandchuggedhalfofitwithagrimace.Hewasstillgettingusedtothetaste.“Weready?”

Togethertheywalkedbacktothegreenroom.GreerwasmissinghavingAvabyhisside.Heliked

hangingbackfromtheguysandthenpullingherintoarandomroomorclosetandfuckingherupagainsta
wall.Itwastheirunofficialaftershowroutine.Greerfoundhimselfstakingoutplacesduringsoundcheck
wherehecouldhaveaprivatemomententeringAvalater.

Herabsencemadethehighhehadcomingoffstagewither.
Theguysenteredtheroombeforehim.Greerstoppedinthedoorwayandfrowned.Shewasn’t

there.“I’mgoingtorunouttothebusquick,”hesaid.

Sawyerwastheonewhoresponded.“You’llnevermakeitalive.”
Hewasn’twrong.Rightnowthousandsofpeoplewereleavingthestadiumandalthoughthey

weren’tparkedinthegenerallot,fansstillfoundthemandwouldcrowdaroundthebackdoorwaitingfor
oneofthemtocomeoutandsignautographs.

“I’llbefine.”
“Whatever.I’dlosetheshirtifyouareattachedtoit.”
Sawyerwasjustfullofthegoodpointstonight.GreerpulledhisBatmanshirtoverhisheadandleft

itonthetable.Theirfanstendedtogetabithandsyandwereknowntoripoffclothing.

Greerlefttheroomandsnaggedtwosecurityguardsonthewayout.Togethertheyranthegauntlet

andhegottothebusrelativelyunscathed.

“Aveline?”hecalledoutasheranupthestepstwoatatime.Therewasnoanswer.“Baby,you

here?”Sheshouldn’tbehere.Theyalltoldherthatshewasnottogotothebuseswithoutoneofthem
becauseofthefans.Girlfriendsweren’texactlyadmiredbytheirloyalfollowers.Therewouldbehair
pullingandinsultsyelled.Jealousywasacoldhardbitchsometimes.

Greerlookedinthebedroombutshewasn’tanywhere.Herstuffwasstillthere,though.Thatwasa

goodsignevenifhisguttoldhimotherwise.

Heleftthebusandwithhissecuritybuddiesflankinghim,theyranbacktothevenue.Whatshould

havebeenatenminutetriptookahalfhour.Bythetimehereachedthegreenroomagain,hewas
beginningtoworry.Noonehadseenherleave.Greeraskedeveryonetheypassed.Someonehadtoknow
something.Shewouldn’tjustdisappearlikethis.

Whenheenteredtheroomthistime,itwasnotwithasmileandbuzzedongoodvibes.Greer’s

mouthwastightandaheadachewasbeginningtoformbetweenhiseyes.Eachofhisbandmateslookedat
himwhenhecomein.Noneofthemweresmiling.

Theyknewsomething.
“Whereisshe?”heasked.Nopussyfootingaround.Heneededtoknow.
“Greer,thisisWalt,”Rorysaidintroducingtheoldermanwhostoodwiththem.“Heisthebearerof

badnewstonight.”

ChapterNineteen

Howmanyvoicemailsdoesittaketofillaninbox?Greerandtheguyshadmanagedtofillitup

withintwelvehours.Avelinehadthebestintentionsofcallingortextingwhenherplanelandedandagain
onceshegottothehospitalbutseeinghermomwithamachinebreathingforherandmoretubesand
monitorsthanshecouldcount,ithadrockedher.

“This,”shehadthought,“ismyfault.”
Shehadbecomerecklessoverthelastfewmonths.Thetasteoffreedomtootemptinginherstressed

state.Butasshewasoffgallivantingwiththeband,hemomwasgettingworse.Maybeshewouldhave
seenitsoonerifshehadbeenaround.Maybeshecouldhaddonesomethingtopreventthis.

Shehadn’tgottenherealone.Robenabledit.Greerenabledit.Hepushedforhertocomewithor

beggedtoseeher.Shehadtriedtoresistatfirstbutsoonfelldowntheslipperyslopeofgivingin.He
wasn’tintentionallytryingtodistractherbutthatwastheresult.Avelineshouldhavestoodfirmfromthe
start.

Nowthatshehadaminutetobreathe,shehadpulledoutherphonetofindithadbeenbombarded

withmessages.Afterthefirstfewshejustdeletedthem.Nouselookingatthesamemessagegetting
progressivelyangrieratherlackofresponse.Thiswasn’tsomethingshewantedtodealwithrightnow
butshehadwalkedoutontheirshow.Attheveryleasttheydeservetoknowwhatwasgoingon.

Shewaitedanotherfewminutes.Thephonespinningbetweenherfingers.Thedoctorshadtoldher

thattherewasnothingthatshecouldhavedonetopreventwheretheywerenow.Herexhaustedmind
laughedatthat.Howdidtheyknowwhatshecouldorcouldn’thavedone?Ifshehadjustbeenhomeand
notoffpretendingtobeacountrystar’sgirlfriendthensomethingcouldhavebeendone.Anything.

Avelinehungherhead.Shewantedtocrybutknewthatsheneededtosavethosetears.Chances

weren’tlookinggood.Ifhermomdidn’tstartbreathingonherownsoon,thenAvelinewasgoingtohave
tobepreparedtomakeadecisionshereallydidn’twanttohavetomake.

Inherhand,herphonebegantovibrate.Shelookedatitandsighed.Greer.Again.
“Hello?”
“Holyshit.Youpickedup.”Hewasjustassurprisedasshewas.Aveline’sfingerhadoriginally

beenhoveringoverdecline.

“Yes,”herthroatfeltthick.Thewordsstickinginhermouth.
“I’vebeensoworried.Howisyourmom?”
“Notgood.”
“I’msorry,Ava.”Theconcerninhisvoicealmostbrokeher.“CanIcomeoutthere?Iwanttohelp.”
Sheshookherhead.“No.Staywhereyouare.”
“It’snoproblem.Icanbethereinafewhours.Ireallywanttohelpinanywayyouneed.Icanpick

upfoodorcoffee,beyourerrandboy.Iamalsogreatatcomforting.Myshoulderisasponge.Cryallyou
wantonit.Justletmehelpyou.”Sosincere.Avelinewouldlikenothingmorethantotakehimuponwhat
hewasofferingbuthehadobligations,justasshehad.Thiswasalessonforhimasmuchasitwasfor
her.Don’tneglectyourresponsibilities.

“Ifyouwanttohelpthenyouwillleavemebe.”
Thelinegotquiet.Avelinehadn’tknownthatshewasgoingtobreakupwithhim.Shehadn’t

plannedonit,yetitwastonosurprisethattheywereherenow,breakingup.

“Whatareyousaying?”heasked.
“ThatIdon’twantanydistractions.WithmymomiswhereIneedtobe.Havingyouinthepicture

onlysplitsmyattention.”

Hesighedintothephoneandshepicturedhimrubbingahandoverhisface.“Iunderstand.Ihateit

butIgetit.”

Hislackoffighthurt.Theillogicalpartofherwantedhimtofightforher.Wantedhimtocausea

scene.Shewantedhimtoyellather.Hateher,likeshehatedher.Hisagreementhurtworsethananything
elsehecouldhavedone.

Neitherofthemspokeforawhile.Shedidn’ttrustherselftoopenhermouthandnotcollapseinto

tears.Soshejusthungup.Endedthecallandturnedoffherphone.Shewouldhavethrownitatthewall
too,butknewthatshedidn’thavethemoneyforareplacement.

“Aveline?”
Shelookeduptofindanurseinthedoorway.Shehadgonetotheemptywaitingroomtocheckher

callsinsteadofhermom’sroom.

“Thedoctorwouldliketospeakwithyou.”

*****

ThedayspassedandGreerputonahappyfaceasguiltateawayathim.Ononeoftheirrarefew

daysoffhewentbackhome.BeingaMomma’sboy,hefiguredsomefamilytimewouldhelp.Itdidn’t.
Jamiehadleftrehab.Althoughtheywerestickingtotheplanofnocontact,hisfamilywasmourningthe
lossofason.Greerhadnopatienceforitandwenthome.

Jasonfoundhiminhisstudioatthebabygrandpiano.Ithadbeenhisgrandmother’sandwasthe

firstinstrumenthehadlearnedtoplayasakid.Thesongheplayednowwasslowandsadbutbeautiful.
Hehadplayeditforaconcertwhenhewastwelveandhadlongforgottenthenameofitbutthenotes
stuckwithhim.

WhenhenoticedJason,Greerstoppedplaying.
“Istoppedbyyourparents’house.TheyareinroughshapeoverJamie,”hebegan.
“Nosurprisethere,right?”
Jasongrunted.
“YoutellAveline?”
Greerlaughed.Hehadn’ttalkedtoherindays.Didn’tdeserveto.Shebrokeupwithhimasshe

shouldhave.Hell,hehadbeenquestioninginthosehoursaftershehadflownhomewhyshewaswith
him.Hiswantswereputbeforeherresponsibilitiesandthathadcostthemboth.“YouknowIhaven’t,”he
saidabitannoyed.

“Youshould.”JasonsatonthecouchbehindhimsoGreerhadtoswingaroundonthebenchjustto

lookathim.

“Ishouldn’t.We’redone,dude.Sojustdropit.”
Jasonpursedhislipstogetherandshookhishead.“Idon’tseeitthatway.Avelinewashurt,notby

youoranyoneelsebutbyanactofgod.Shehadtostrikeoutatsomeoneandyouwerehandy.”

Greerhadhearditallbefore.Hadtriedtoconvincehimselfofthesamethingbuteachtimehe

roundedbacktoguilt.Thefactwasthathethoughthecouldsnatchherupandpayanursetowatchover
hermom.Buthehadneverconsideredwhatwouldhappenifsomethingseriouswentwrongwhenshe
wasn’tthere.Becauseheonlyconsideredhisfeelings,hisneedforAveline.Greerwasselfishandthat
hadcosther.

“It’sover.Forrealthistime.Wewillbothhavenocontactandeventuallywe’llmoveon.”
“Butman,thisisUniversityGirl,”Jasonexclaimedlikethatwasreasonenough.“She’syourmatch.

Yourfuture.I’veneverseenyouactlikethisoveranyone,ever.Ifyouaren’tgoingtofightforherthen
maybeyouareright,maybeyoushouldjustpussyoutandlethergobecauseyoudon’tdeservesomeone
youwon’tfightfor.”

Greercouldn’tlookathisfriend.Hewasright,hehadneveractedlikethiswithanyonebefore.It

wasalwayseasylaysandonenightstands.Gettingclosetosomeonetookriskandwiththeirgrowing

profilesinthemusicindustry,itwashardtofindthosehecouldtrust,thosewhosawhimandnotjustthe
musician.Avelinehadbeenboth.Shehadwormedherwayintohislifewithasimplecrackaboutstalking
her.Shewasgenuineandhonestandoneofthemostbeautifulpeoplehehadeverknown.Itwashis
selfishnessthatputtheminthisspot.Itshowedhimthathewasn’tasreadytohavesomethingseriousas
hehadthought.

“Talktomeman,”Jasonpleaded.Greerlookeduptoseehimworryingoverhim.
Iftherewasanyonewhohecouldbarehissoulto,itwasJason.
“Iwanttofightforherandthatscaresme.Ifanythingcamefromthisexperience,it’sthatIamnot

readytobeinarelationship.SoifIfight,I’mgoingtoonlybringherpain.Ineedtoworkonmyselffirst
butthenitmaybetoolate.”

“Whatmakesyouthinkthatyouarenotreadyforsomethingsteady?Youguysweregreattogether.

I’veneverseenyousoattentiveorcaringforagirlbefore.Shemadeyourcavemancomeout,youknow
she’sakeeperwhenshedoesthat.”

Greerleanedforward,hiselbowsrestingonhisknees.“ItookherfromwhereshewasneededandI

didsoknowingthattherewassomeoneelsewhoneededhermorethanIdid.”

Jasonrolledhiseyes.“Really?That’syourargument.Sheisagrownwoman.Ifshedidn’twantto

goorthoughthermomwasintoobadofshapetoleave,thenshewouldn’thavegone.Fromwhatthis
soundslike,itwassudden.Look,lovingsomeoneisn’teasybutthereisalsonorulebookastowhenyou
areready.Ifyouloveherthenfightforher.Ifyoudon’twanttofight,thenit’snotlove.Ifyoucanloveher
atherworse,whensheispushingyouawaythenyouaregood.Becauselovingsomeoneattheirworst,
whentheyarebeinghardtolove,whentheydon’twantthatloveisn’teasy,butit’snotsupposedtobe.If
itwereeasythenitwouldn’tbeworthit.IsAvelineworthit,Greer?”

HekneweverythingJasonhadsaidwasonehundredpercenttruth.“Stopusinglogiconme,”Greer

muttered.“Whenthehelldidyoubecomealovedoctor?Shitmanthatwasdeep.”

Jasonshrugged.
Thebenchhesatonvibratedashisphonereceivedatext.Hisheartsankashereadthesender.“It’s

Rob.”Greerpickeduphisphone,notwantingtoreadthemessagebuttappingonitanyway.

“Aveline’smotherpassedawaytodayaftergoingofflifesupport.I’mmakingfuneralarrangements

andwillreachoutwhentheyarefinalized.Justthoughtyoushouldknow.”

“Fuck,”Jasoncursed.“PoorAveline.”
AllGreercoulddowasnodinagreement.Heknewthatshewouldhavebeentheonetomakethat

callanditwouldhavekilledhertodoso.Hewishedhecouldbethereforher.Wishedhecouldbeher
rock,herprotector.Wishedhecouldtakesomeofthatburdenoutofherhands.Buthewasn’t.Shedidn’t
wanthimthere.Hewasjustacruelreminderoftimeshecouldhavebeenwithhermother.

GreersentbackaquickresponsetoRobthankinghimforthinkingabouthim.Greerwouldsend

flowers.Itwastheleasthecoulddo.Maybesetupaweekofmealstobedeliveredoramassagefor
AvelineandRob.Thatguydeservedsomecredit.HedidalotforAveline.

“Wannajam?”JasonaskedafterGreerputhisphoneaway.
Henodded.Atthatmoment,nothingsoundedbetter.

*****

“HiIneedtopickoutflowersforafuneral,”Avelinesaidtothewomanbehindthecounter.A

pityingsmilecameacrossherfaceasshepulledoutabinder.

“There’satabletotheleftwhereyoucansit.Takeyourtimelookingandletmeknowifyouhave

anyquestions.”

Avelinedidasshewastoldandwenttothetabletotheleft.Itwasinasmallsunnyalcove.She

welcomedtheisolation.Alldayithadbeenpickingthingsout.Decisionsleftandright.Whatcasket?

Whatwillshewear?Whatdoyouwantherobituarytosay?Don’tthesepeopleknowthatallshewanted
todowasbeathomedecidingwhatflavoricecreamtoeat?

Shehadneverknownhowhardfuneralplanningwouldbe.Robwashelpingbuttherewassomuch

todothathecouldn’tbearitall.Sotheysplittasks.Flowerarrangementsbeingherlastfortheday.In
threedays,shewouldbesayinggoodbyetohermotherforgood.

Whichsoundedstupid.
Avelinehadalreadysaidgoodbye.Thiswasjustbusywork.
Sheflippedthroughlaminatedpageswonderingiftheyhadthemlaminatedbecausethepeople

lookingatthemwerelikelytobreakoutintears.Howmanypeoplebeforeherdidthisverysamething?
Didtheycringeatthepricestoo?Everythingseemedsodamnexpensive.Sheknewthatwasn’tthepoint
ofthematterbutitwasawasteofmoney.Sotheboxhermother’sbodywoulddecomposeinwouldbe
coveredinflowersthatwouldbegintowitheranddieaswell.Whatwasthepointofthat?

God,shewassocynical.
WhenshebroughttheseconcernsuptoRobthatmorninghejustpattedherontheheadandtoldher

todoitanyway.Apparently,thiswashercopingmechanism.

Shewishedshehadsomehelpatthis.Someonewhocouldlightentheday.Sheflippedthenextpage

almosttearingitinhalf.Becausedealingwithdeathwasn’tenough,shewasdealingwithguiltanda
brokenheartaswell.

Itwasawonderthatshewasfunctioningatall.
Damnherstrongwill.
Greerhadn’tcontactedheratallbutwhyshouldhe?Shebasicallytoldhimthathermother’sdeath

washisfault.Howdoyoucomebackfromthat?

Answer:youdon’t.
Shedidn’twanttothinkofhim.Shedidn’twanttoberemindedofhimateveryturn.Allshewanted

wastomourninwhatlittlepeaceshecouldfind.Buthewasthere,onhermindandinherheart.Aheart
riddenwithsomuchguiltforwhatshehaddone.Tossingblameonanotherforherfaultswasnotwhoher
motherraisedhertobe.Hedeservedanapology,ifnothingelse.Avelinewasn’tsureshehadanything
elsetogive.Shewasemptyinside.

Reachingoutwouldonlygivehimhope,though.Hopeforsomethingtheyhadtriedandfailedat.
Buthadthey?Didtheyfailorhadshe?
“Findanythingyoulike?”thewomanasked,peekingherheadintoherlittlealcove.
“Um,”Avelinelookeddownatthepageshewason.Greenandwhitesomethingorothers.Shehad

topicksomething,mightaswellbethis.“Thisone.”

ChapterTwenty

Avelinesatinherdesignatedseat,waitingfortheservicetobegin.Ifshestoodthenpeoplebothered

her.Shewassafersittingandstaringattheboxthatwouldcontainhermotherforeternity.Rob,blesshim,
wasfieldingpeopleawayfromher.

Morepeoplehadshownupthansheexpected.Newshadtraveledandhermother’soldfriends,

coworkersandsomeextendedfamilycame.Itwasnicethattheyallwereherebutshewouldratherithad
justbeenher.Thenshecouldjustgetitoverwithandgohome.

ItwasaclosedcasketfornootherreasonthanAvelinehatedtolookatthedead.Shecouldn’t

controlmuchinthissituation,butherlastmemoryofhermomwouldnotbehercorpse.

Threepeoplepassedinfrontofher,blockingherviewofthecasket.Theysatdownbesideherasan

armcametorestacrosshershoulders.Avelinelookeduptoseewhodareddisturbthepoordaughterof
thedeadtofindJason,SawyerandRorysurroundingherintheirSundaybest.

Herheartbrokeopen.
Atearrandownhercheekandthenanother.Theseguysweretoomuch.Theyhadcomeforher.She

sniffled,tryingtoholdback.Shehadawholeservicetogetthrough.Jasonsawherstruggleandgaveher
aplacetohidebypullingherheadtohisshoulder.Sheheldon,thankfulforthesupportbutknowingthat
thechestsheheldontowaswrong.Itwasn’ttheoneshewanted.

“Shhhhhh.It’sokAva,”hesaidrubbingahandoverherback.
Shehadatightholdonheremotionsandpulledthereignsinhardtostopthecomingstorm.She

pushedbackfromJasonandranthebackofherhandsunderhereyes.Shehadskippedthemakeupthis
morningforjustthisreason.

“Whyareyouhere?”sheasked,hervoiceshaking.
“Whereelsewouldwebe?”Sawyerasked.
“Is…”Avelinelookedaroundbutdidn’tseeGreer.Shefeltfoolishforeventhinkingthathewould

come.Buttheywereheresomaybehewas.Theconflictofneedinghimtherebutnotdeservinghis
presencewasagrowingbattle.

Jasonpulledherfocusbackonhimbyturningherchin.“DoyouwantGreertobehere?”
“I…uh…”Shehadachoice?Washehereornot?Whydidshehavetodecide?
Beforeshecouldmakeuphermind,thepastorsteppedinfront.“Ifeveryonewouldpleasetakeyour

seats,wearereadytobegin.”

“Afterthen,”Jasonwhisperedinherear.Theireyesmetanditfeltlikehewasseeingrightthrough

her.Withahandonherneckhepulledherdownandkissedthetopofherhead.“Don’tworryaboutit
now.”Shenoddedstillnotsureifthat’swhatshewantedornot.

Theguysdidn’tleaveher.Theystayedaroundherthewholeservice.Jasonwithhisarmoverher

shoulders,Sawyerholdingherhand,andRoryprotectingherbackandeffectivelycreatingafortress
aroundher.Shefeltsafeandstrong.

Whentheceremonyendedandpeoplebegantodisperse,eachoftheboysgaveherahug.“Istherea

receptionoranything?”Roryasked.

“No.RobandIplannedtojustgotoabarandgetdrunk.”
“Soundslikeaplan,”Rorydecided.
“There’sapuboveronsecond,”Robsaidcomingovertothem.Hegaveherasqueeze.“We’llmeet

youoverthere.”

Jasonhadbeenkeepinghisdistancebutcametohernowandleaneddowntoherear.“Greerwill

bethere.Hewasstayingbackforthefuneralbecausehedidn’twanttointrude.FromwhatIcanseehis
presencewouldbewelcome,right?”

Avelinepursedherlips.Shehadjustburiedhermother,atthispointshejustdidn’tcareanymore.

“Yes,”sheanswered.

“Good.We’llseeyouoverthere.”

*****

ItwashardtostayinthecarandwatchJasonandtheguyscomfortAveline.Shewasputtingonsuch

abravefacebuthesawrightthroughit.Thesmilesheworewaspracticallyplasteredonherface.When
noonewastalkingtoherforlongerthanaminutehereyeswouldglazeoverandherlowerlipwould
drop.Allthemusclesinherfacejustseemedtogoslackuntilsomeonecaughtherattentionandthatfake
smilecameback.

Forthelasttenminuteshedebatedwhethertogetoutofthecarornot.Theplanwastohavethe

guysgofeeloutthesituationandreportback.Sofarhehadn’theardanything.

AsAvelinerestedherheadonJason’sshoulderhefoundnotajealousboneinhisbody.Ifit

couldn’tbehim,hewasgladitwasJasonthatsheturnedtoforcomfort.Hewasagoodrock.He’dhold
herupinGreer’sabsence.Itwasn’tideal,Greer’sshoulderwouldhavebeenbetter,butitwasthebesthe
couldhopefor.

Greerlookedathisphoneagain,willingnewsfromoneofthem.Thewholethingwasashitty

situation,whichiswhytheydecidedtogoaboutitthisway.Greerdidn’twanttointrudeonhergriefand
thoughtitbesttostaybehindbutheknewhehadtobehereforherjustincase.Nothingcouldhavekept
himaway.Evenwithouttheguys,hewouldhavecomeforher.

Hisphonebegantobuzz.“Finally,”hemutteredandansweredwithoutlooking.
“Yeah?”
“Greer?”cameJamie’sshakenvoice.GreerhadtopullbackthephonetolookathiscallerID.

Unknownnumber.Fuck.Hedidn’thavetimeforthisshit.

“Jamie,ItoldyouifyouleftrehabthatIneverwantedtotalktoyouagain.Youleftsogoodbye.”
“Iknow,”hisbrothersaid,rushed.“ButI’minabind.It’stight.”
Greerclosedhiseyesandleanedhisheadbackontheseatrest.Fuckthis.“Theyalwaysare,Jamie.

Butyouareonyourownnow.”

“I’mnotaskingformoneyornuthin’.Ijustneedaride.I’mreadytodoitthistime.I’mreadytogo

torehab.”

Hehatedthis.Hatedthathehadbecomesohardenedtowardhisbrotherbuthowmanytimeshadhe

beenfuckedoverinthepast?Jamiewasuntrustworthybutdamnifthefearinhisvoicedidn’tcutstraight
thoughGreer.“Whynow?”

“IthinkIjusthitrockbottom.Ican’texplainrightnow.Please,Greer.Iwantthis.Iwanttogethelp.

Idon’twanttobethis…thispersonanymore.”

Ifitweren’tforthatthreadoffearinhisvoice,Greerwouldhangupnowandnotthinktwice.Jamie

wasscared.Wellandtrulyscared.

“It’sjustaride.”
“I’llsendacar.”
“No!”Jamieyelled.“No,G.Please.Canitbeyou?”
“Fuck,”hesaidandrubbedahanddownhisface.Responsibilities.Avelinehadignoredhersand

hereshesatathermother’sfuneral.Asmuchashehatedtoadmitit,Jamiewashisresponsibility.“Where
areyou?”

Turnedouthewasonlyanhourawaywhichwasamiraclesincehewouldhavebeenfourhours

awayifhewereathomerightnow.Greershotoffatexttotheguysexplainingwherehewent.Hewanted
toknowwheretheywouldbeaftersohecouldmeetupwiththem.

Greertookthecar,kickinghimselftheentireway.Didn’thejusttellhisparentsnottodothisvery

thing?Jamiewasaliar.Thisridewasprobablyatriptoashittyhotelwherehecouldbuyandshootup.
Nowayinhellwasittogobacktorehab.Heshouldturnaround.Sawyerhadalreadycalledandtexted
him,tellinghimtodojustthatbutthatfearjustkilledhim.Jamiehadneversoundedlikethat.

Theaddresswasinashittypartofsomesmalltown.He’dneverheardofit.Justoneofthoseplaces

youdrovethroughtogettowhereyouweregoing.Tomakethingsevenbetter,theaddresswasa
junkyard.Greercursedandshookhishead.NexttimehewasgivingthephonetoSawyer.Fuckthis.

Jamiewavedhimdown.Hisbrotherlookeddifferentfromthelasttimehesawhim.Hehadcuthis

hairshort,morelikeGreer’sandhadgainedalittlebitmoreweight.Theyhadn’tlookedthisidentical
sincemiddleschool.

“Getin,”hesaidthroughtheopenwindow.
“Canyouhelpmegrabmystuff?”Jamieasked.Greercouldseehewashigh.Hispupilswerelike

blackholes.

“Fine.”Heparkedandgotoutofthecar.Jamiesmiled.Therewassomethingwrongwiththelook.It

wasn’tahappysmilebuttriumphant,likegettingGreerherewassomesortoffeat.Well,itwas.Afterall,
Greerwastheonetolaydowntherulesforrehabandherehewasbreakingthem.

“Where’syourshit?”
“Overhere.”Jamieledtheway.Theywalkedaroundonepileofcrapandthenanother.Jamiekept

thepacefastbutGreerkeptup.Finallytheyturnedacornertofindaduffelbagandabackpack.
Unfortunately,therewerefourmenthereaswell.

“Itoldyouhe’dcome,”Jamiesaid.“Nowdoyouseeyouhavethewrongguy?”
Greerwasn’tsurewhatthehellwasgoingon.“Jamie,whatthefuckisthis?”
Hisbrothershookhishead.“Youhavetostop,Jamie.Thegigisup.Youneedtostoprunning

aroundpretendingtobemeandanswerforyourdebts.”

Jamiehadlosthismind.“Pretendingtodowhat?WhatthehellisgoingonJamie?”
“I’msorryformybrother,”Jamiesaidtothemen.“He’salwayswishedtobemeandsinceweare

twinshetendstotakeittotheextreme.”

“Yeah,Idon’tcare.Ifhecanpaythenhecanwalk.Yougottagothough.”Oneofthemensaid.

Jamie’smouthtwitchedholdingbackasmile.

“Iunderstand.Please,don’tbetoohardonhim.He’snotwell.”
“Don’tcare,”themansaidagain.
Jamiepickeduphisbags.Greerwaswatching,tryingtocatchJamie’seyewhenahandgrippedhis

nape.

“Youoweusalotofmoney,Jamie.Gamblingwilldothat.”
“IamnotJamie,”Greersaid.Thisshitwasunbelievable.
Theguylaughed.“Sureyaaren’t.Checkhim.”Theguyholdinghimwentthroughhispockets.He

foundhiswalletandpulledoutthecashhehad.

“Threehundred.Notquitewhatwehadtoldyoutobring.Where’stheotherfiftythousand?”
Jamieowedthemwhat?Greerlookedtohisbrotherbuthewasgone.Hewassoshockedthathehad

missedthepartwherehisbrotherhadtakenoff.

“Thiswasyourlastchance,Jamie.Wegaveyouanextensionbecauseyouwereinjailbutyourdebt

isdue.”Thehandonhisnecktightened.Hehadbeensetup.Jamiefuckedhim.

“Ihatetomessupprettyfaces,”themansaid.“Butit’sthejob.”
Whentheguyswung,Greertriedtoduckbuttheotherguywasstillgrippinghisneck.Theresult

wasapunchhittinghisear.Hestumbled,theringingovertakingeverything.Greerleanedovertofindhis
bearings.Hetouchedhisearandcamebackwithbloodyfingers.

Thenexthitwasakneetothisstomach.Greerfelltotheground.Hisearwasmessinguphis

equilibrium.Theworldfeltlikeitwasspinningoutofcontrol.

“Pickhimup,”theguysaidannoyed.“Iwanttoprettyhimupsomemorebeforewekillhim.”
Fuck.

ChapterTwenty-One

“RustedandRecklessbassist,GreerMcQueen,wasfoundbeatenandstabbedinaGrundyjunkyard

lastnight.Policehaveyettocommentontheincident.McQueenremainsincriticalcondition.”

Avelinereadthelatestheadline,herstomachinaknot.Shehadbeeninaconstantstateofworry

sincehearingabouttheattackafewhoursearlier.Shehadknownsomethingwaswrongyesterdayatthe
funeral.Greerwassupposedtomeetthematthebar,hewantedtoofferhiscondolencesandshewas
downenoughtoacceptthemandseehim.AccordingtoJasonhehadbeenatthefuneralthewholetime,
untilhewasn’t.GreerhadsentoffatextsayingheneededtodealwithaJamieissueandthenhadnot
beenheardfromagain.Asthenightdrewon,theirspiritsgrewmoreworried.Greerstoppedresponding
totextsandcalls.Afterthreehoursandnoword,Sawyertoldthemtogettheirshit,theyweregoingto
lookforhim.AvelineandRobwenthomebuttheguysmadethempromisetocallwhentheyfoundhim.

Well,theyhad,atDawoodGeneral.Greerhadacollapsedlung,threebrokenribs,multiplestab

woundsandhislefthandhadbeencrushed.Hewasinsurgerywhentheyfoundhim.Ithadbeenhis
parentswhofinallycalledandtoldthemwheretheywere.Someonehadleftananonymoustipabouta
fightinthejunkyard.Greerhadbeenleftfordeadatthesoundofsirens.Hismoneyandcreditcardshad
beentaken,hislicenseandwalletleftbehind.

Themediahadgottenawhiffofthenewsandranwithit.TheypepperedtheTVandinternetwith

assumptionsofdrugsandgamblingproblemsusingpicturesofhisbrotherastheir“proof.”Avelineput
herphoneaway.Shekepttellingherselftostopsearchinghisnamebutitwasacompulsionasshewaited.
Thenurseswouldonlyallowtwopeopleinhisroomatatime.Hewasn’tawakerightnowanywaysoshe
didn’tmindtakingalatershift.JasonandRoryhadgoneintwentyminutesbefore.Shestaredatthedoor
downthehallwaitingfor…well,shewasn’tsure.

“I’vegotnews,”Sawyersaidhandingheracupofcoffee.
“Yeah?”Sheacceptedthegift.Thecaffeinatedjoltwouldkeepherawake.Shehadn’tsleptatallthe

nightbefore.Andafteraweekdealingwithdeathandaheartbreak,itwasbeginningtoweighonher.

“TheyjustcaughtJamieoutsideofRichmond.”
Sheexhaled,hershoulderssinking.Finally,somethingwasgoingright.“That’sgreat.”
Sawyersatdownbesideherandtookahesitantsipofhiscoffee.“Yeah,itis.Greerispressing

charges,obviously.”

“Iwilltoo.Ifitwillhelp.”
Sawyerlookedather,hiseyessofteningashetookherin.“Yeah,that’sgood.ThanksDarlin’.”The

insurmountableevidencetheyhadagainstJamiewasprobablyplentybutifherassaultchargecouldgive
himanotheryearinprison,thenshewoulddoit.

“Youok?”heaskedstilllookingather.“It’sbeenalongfewdaysforyou.”
Hewasn’twrong.Avelinehadspentmorethanherfairshareinhospitalslately.Beingbackinone

wasmakinghertwitchy.Itwastoosoonafterwatchinghermotherstruggletobreathe,totakeinasimple
breathofair.Toosoonsinceshewatchedherchestheaveandhermusclesspasm.Sincehearingthose
finalwordsof“Timeofdeath…”Avelinestruggledjusttositinthechair.Shewasn’tevensureshe’dbe
abletogointotheroomwhereGreerwasyet.

Sawyerseemedtoknowwithouthersayingawordthatbeingtherewastough.Everytimehe

walkedawaytogetanupdate,shewantedtobolt.Aslongassomeonewastheretalkingtoherand
keepinghermindoffthesmellandthesounds,thenshecoulddeal.

“I’mfine.”
JasonandRorywalkedin,bothcollapsingintoemptychairsaroundthem.“Youguyswantaturn?”

Roryasked.“Thevulturesarestartingtocirclesoweshouldhavesomeoneinthere.”

“I’llgetsomesecurityinhere.Aveline,youcangoahead.I’mgoingtomakeacalltoDarcyand

thenbein.”

“Isheawake?”sheaskedandJasonshookhishead.
“No,notyet.Idoubthewillbeforawhile.Anesthesiareallyknockshimout.It'sprobablygoingto

beafewhours.”

SawyerlefttheroomtomakehiscallwhileAvelinestoodthere.Shedidn’twanttogointhere

alone.Seeinghimimmobileandhookeduptovariousmachineswasabittoorealofanimageforher
consideringeverythingthathadhappenedthelastweek.

“Aveline?Youok?”Roryasked.
“Huh?Ohyeah.”Theywerebothlookingatherliketheydidn’tbelieveher.Shesmiled.“I’llgosee

Greer.”

Sheleftbeforetheycouldasktoomanyquestions.AvelinepassedSawyerontheway.Hedidn’tsee

herasheironedoutthedetailsoftheirsecurity.Hehadaroombyhimself.Thewallofwindowslooked
outtoanotherwingofthehospital.Itwaslessthanscenic.Greerlayonhisbed,thetophalfofhisbody
elevatedintoareclinedposition.Shewassurprisedtoseelittleinthewayofsupport.Hermomhadtubes
andlinesandmonitorsbutGreerjusthadthenecessities.Iteasedher.Notingthedifferencesmade
walkingtohisbedmanageable.Achairwaspositionedbesidehim.Shesatinit,scoochingitcloserto
him.

“Greer?”sheaskedthesilentroom.
Noanswer.
Hewasstillout.Avelinegrabbedhishandinbothofhers.Shewatchedintentlyseeingiftherewas

anychange.Therewasn’t.Itwassillyofhertothinkthathervoiceortouchwouldwakehimup.This
wasn’tamovie.Hewasn’tgoingtowakeupinherpresenceanddeclarehiseternalloveforher.Itjust
didn’thappenlikethatinreallife.Hewasgoingtowakeupandbeagrumpymessbecausehewasinso
muchpain.

ThedooropenedandSawyerslippedin.AvelineletgoofGreer’shandandsatbackinthechair.

Sawyerlookedatwheretheyhadjustbeenconnectedwithasmile.

“How’shedoing?”
“Stillunconscious.”
Sawyerwenttotheothersideofthebed.“Helookslikeshit.”
Hedid.Greerwasbatteredandbruised.Thecleanwhitebandagesmadethedarkpurple

discoloringmoredeepanddefined.Thelongershelookedathim,theharderitbecame.Justbecausehe
wasinjureddidn’tmeanshecouldturnoffallthehurtshehadinsidetowardhim.Herheadwasstillfull
ofblame,herheartfullofguilt.Thisdidn’tchangemuchofanything.Avelinehadalotsheneededto
workthrough.BeingabletolookatGreerandnotfeelahurricaneofemotionswasoneofthem.

Thelastfewdaysshehadbeenfunctioningonautopilot,evencomingherefeltlikeanobligationthat

herfeetcarriedhertoward.That’snottosayshedidn’tcareaboutwhathappened.Avelinecaredmore
thanshecaredtocare.Theamountofcaringhappeninginsideherwasofepicproportionsbutwithso
muchtraumainoneweek,shedidn’tknowwhatwasgriefandwhatwasreal.Autopilotprotected
Avelinefromtheworstofheremotions.Sheneededtodealwithhergriefoverlosinghermotherbefore
shecouldmoveontoeverythingsurroundingGreer.

Wouldshebeaskingtoomuchifsheaskedhimtowait?Helethergosoeasilylasttime,wouldhe

evenwantherthererightnow?Avelinewasoverwhelmedwithallthethoughtsinherhead.
Overwhelmedenoughthatsheneededtoretreat.

“Ishouldgetgoing,”shesaid.SawyerlookedawayfromGreertoher,hisfrowndeepening.
“Youaren’tstaying?”
Sheshookherhead.Theplacewasgettingtoherandshewasatherlimit.“Keepmeintheloop?”

“Ofcourse,”Sawyersaidcomingaroundthebed.Hehuggedher.Sheclosedhereyesandburied

herheadinhischest.“Thankyouforcoming.Iknowheappreciatesit.”

Shenodded.Thewordsgettingstuckinherthroat.Sawyerdidn’tlethergorightaway.She

wonderedifthehugwasmoreforherorforhim.Whenhepulledback,hiseyeswereglossy.Shetouched
hischeek.Noddinginunderstanding.

“He’sgoingtobeok.”
Sawyerturnedhishead.“Iknow.He’sjustgoingtobereallypissedatmeforlettingyouleave.”
“I’llbeback,”shesaidnotsureifitweretrueornot.

*****

Thehushedvoicesaroundhimfeltlikewreckingballs,eachonetakingaswingathishead.Ittook

himafewmoments,longerthanhelikedtoadmit,torememberwherehewas.Earlierhehadwokenup
andfoundhimselfinahospitalroom.Thenursewhohadbeeninwithhimexplainedwhatshecouldand
saidshewouldgogetthedoctorandhisfamily.Greerhadsunkenbackintoacomatosestatebeforethey
couldreturn.

Well,theywereherenow.
“IfyouallkeeptalkingI’mgoingtohavetohurtyou,”Greermuttered.Hismouthwasdryandtacky.

Gettingthewordsouttooksomework.

“Hehasawaken!”anelatedJasonsang.
Greerforcedhiseyesopentofindtheusualsuspectsplushisparents.Heglaredateveryonebuthis

mom.“HiMomma,”hesaidlettinghiseyescloseagain.Thathadbeenenoughworkforthetimebeing.

“Hibaby,”shesaidamused.“Howareyoufeeling?”
Greerliftedhisopenhandandwaitedforhertograbit.Shedidandstrokedahandacrosshis

forehead.“Idon’tthinkI’mgoingtobeabletogotoschooltoday.”Jasonsnortedashismomplaceda
kissonhisforehead.“Sohowbadisit?”

“Badbutyou’lllive.YouweretakenoutofICUafewhoursago.Nowit’sjustamatterofhealing.”
Greeropenedhiseyesandlookedtohisfriends.“Thatbad,huh?”
Theyallnodded.
“Idon’tthinkthisneedstobesaidbutI’mgoingtosayitanyway.JamieisnotinvitedtoChristmas

thisyear.”

“He’sbeencaught,”hisdadsaid.“Thepolicewillneedyourstatement.I’msurethey’vealready

beennotifiedthatyouwokeup.”

Henodded.“Icandothat.”
“Inthemeantime,theyareprocessingAveline’scharges.”
Alltheblooddrainedfromhisface.Oneofthemonitorsstartedbeepingfrantically.Greerwas

strugglingtositupmorewhenanurserushedin.“Everyoneback,please.”Shecameover,stereoscope
alreadyinherearsandbegantakinghisvitals.AsmuchasGreertriedtotellherthathewasfine,she
ignorehim.Soheignoredherback.

“WhatdoyoumeanAveline’scharges?”heaskedtheroom.Theyalllookedhorrified.Fearthatthey

wouldupsethimandhe’dkeeloveranddiekeptanyonefromtalking.“I’mfine.Ijustimaginedtheworse
whenyousaidAvelineandchargesagainstJamie.Nowtellmewhatthisisabout.”

“Theyarefromwhenheattackedher,”Jasonsaidfinally.“Shesaidshewouldfilechargestogo

withyoursagainsthim.Wecalledherwhenyouwokeafewhoursago.Shesaidshewouldgotothe
policeandholdthemofftogiveyoumoretimetorest.”

“Shewashere,Dude,”Roryadded.“Afteryougotoutofsurgery,shewasherewithusforhours.”
Butshewasn’therenow.God,he’ddoanythingtoseeherrightnow.
Greerlaidhisheadbackonthepillow.Thenursehadstoppedherproddingandleftwithawarning

nottogethimriledup.

“Cansomeonehandmeaphone?”heaskedtheroom.Noonebudged.“Please?”
Itwashismomwhobrokethesilence.Shegrabbedhishandagainandspokeinthesofttonesshe

usedwhenhewasyoungertobreakbadnewstohimlikewhenhissnakehaddied.“Sweetie,youshould
focusonhealing.We’llletherknowthatyouwereaskingaboutherandI’msureshewillcomebackinto
seeyou.”

Greerfrownedbutdidn’targue.Oncehisparentsweregonehe’dasktheguyswhatreallyhappened

andseewhySawyerlookedlikeheknewmorethanhewassaying.

Theconversationpickeduparoundhimagain.Greerdidn’tsayanythingmore.Heclosedhiseyes

anddidjustwhathismotherhadsuggested,focusedonhealing.

*****

“Hello,Doll,”Robsaidcomingintothelivingroom.Hesatdownbesideheronthecouchandput

hisfeetonthecoffeetable.HermotherwouldhavehadafitbutconsideringAveline’swereproppedup
theretoo,shecouldn’tsaymuch.“HowwasGreertoday?”

“Don’tknow.Didn’tseehim,”shesaidasshescrolledthroughthedozensofflowerarrangements

onhercomputer.Whatkindofflowerssaid“I’msorryforbreakingupwithyou,blamingyouforthings
thatprobablyhavenothingtodowithyouandthatyourbrotherisadick.Getwellsoon.”

“Whynot?”Robwaslookingoverhershoulder.HetappedonapicturecalledSunnyDays.Soshe

clickedonit.“Seemsliketheymovedhimclosertohomeyesterday.Igotthereandthenursesaidhewas
wellenoughtobetransportedsothat’swhattheydid.”

“Isee.”
Avelinehadtakenacoupleofdaystoworkupthenervetogoback.Shehadtoworksoitwasn’tas

ifshewasjustsittingaroundandmoping,butexcusesflowedeasilyeverytimesomeoneaskedwhenshe
wasgoingback.Theproblemshefacedwasdecidingifitwasfairofhertogovisit.WasitfairtoGreer
whenshewasn’tevensuresheshouldbegivinghimhopethattheycouldreconcile?Onethingthatcould
besaidwasthatshemissedhim.Abovealltheotherproblemsandissuesshewashaving,shemissed
him.Andthatiswhyshegotinhercaranddrovetothehospitalthatmorning.

“Haveyoutalkedtohim?Youcouldcallhimsinceheisdoingbetter.”
Shecouldbutshehadn’t.Whatwouldshesay?Feelbetter?Imissyou?Bothweretruebutneither

describedthefullamountofconflictshefeltwarringinsideofher.Toomanythoughtswerefightingfor
herattention.Everythingwasmassconfusion.

“Ihaven’t.Ithoughtflowerswouldbeagoodwaytogo.”
Robnoddedandpointedtoanotherarrangement.Thisonehadaballoonandteddybear.Bothitems

shecouldn’tgetbehind,soshekeptgoing.

“CanIbefrankwithyou?”heaskedclosingthelidtoherlaptop.Shehadtomoveherfingersor

riskgettingthemsquashed.Robtookthecomputerfromherandsetitaside.

“DoIhaveachoice?”Itdidn’tseemlikeshehadachoicewiththewholetakinghercomputerand

holdingherhandsthing.

“Blessyourheartbutno.Babygirlyouarestillinmourningsoyoudon’tseetheopportunitythathas

presenteditselftoyou.Thankfullyyouhavemetoshowyoutheway.”

Shehatedtoaskbutsheknewtherewouldbenoderailinghimnowthathegotstarted.“What

opportunity?”

Robsmiledather.“Youarefree.Nomoremedicalbills,nonurses,notlatenighthospitalruns.For

solongyouhavebeenaslavetoyourmother’scarebutyouarenolonger.It’stimetoliveyourlife.”

Avelinejustcouldn’tmatchhisenthusiasm.Onedayshewouldbuttodaywasnotthatday.Today

shewasstillthegirlwhojustburiedhermom.“Iknowthereismoretoitsojustgetitout.”

Hesentawinkherwayandsqueezedherhands.“Greer,”hesaidsimply.
“Whatabouthim?”
“Ithinkheshouldbepartofyournewlife.Helovesyou.”
GreerhadneversaidasmuchbutAvelinethoughtsotoo.Asadsmilegracedherfaceforamoment

asshethoughtabouthim.Notthebedboundhospitalversionbuttheguywholovedmusicandbooksand
knowledge.Theguywhowascalledanerdbyhisbandmatesandwasreliedupontobringabeattotheir
songs.Theguywhomadehersoulsmile.Theguywiththepantydroppingsmileandeffervescenteyes.

Robbrushedatearfromhereyebeforeithadachancetofall.“Ithinkyoulovehimtoo,”hesaid

softlyasifeasingherintotheidea.

“I’mnotsureI’minapositiontolovehimback.”
Hercousinnodded.“Youneedtodecideifyouwanttogiveitachanceornot.Sofaryouhaveshut

downandrunawayateverypitfallbutyoukeepgoingback.Eitherstayandfightordon’tgobackatall.
Youneedtomoveonfromthisbubbleyou’veputyourselfin.”

Shewantedtogoback.Shewantedtogivethemachancetothriveandmakesomethingoutofwhat

theyhadtogether.Butthosethoughts,thoseswirlingconflictingthoughtskeptherfrommovinginany
direction.Howwasshesupposedtomoveonwithhimifshestillheldresentmenttowardshimandthen
guiltforfeelingthatway?Thosefeelingsjustdon’tdisappear.

“Look,onasemirelatedtopicIwanttomakeasuggestion.Youknowyoucanalwaystalktome

aboutanythingandIwilllistentoyoubutIthinkthistimeyoumightbenefitfromsomeprofessionalhelp.”
Robshiftedtogettohisbackpocketwherehepulledoutapieceofpaper.“Thesearetwotherapistswho
Ithinkcouldhelpyousorteverythingout.”

Robputthenumbersinherhand.Avelinewasn’tsurewhattomakeofit.Therapy?Assurprisingas

itwas,shedidn’tdisregardtheideaimmediately.Infact,shefeltabitrelieved.“Thankyou.Ithinkyou
mayberight.”

“OfcourseIam,”hesaidwithhisnormalflare.“I’dgowiththeirisesandredroses.Thecolors

popandit'snottoocheesy.”Hehandedherlaptopback.

Avelinefoundthearrangementhewasspeakingofandagreed.Itwasprettyandvibrantandbold.If

shecouldn’ttalktohimherselfjustyet,thenshe’dhavetolettheflowerstalkforher.

Roblefthertowritethemessagebutnotbeforehelpingherpickoutthevaseandflowerupgradeto

the“deluxe”arrangement.Thethingwasgoingtobehugeandsowasherbill.Inanotherlifeshewould
neverhavedreamedofspendingsomuchonflowersthatweregoingtodieinaweekbutasRobsaid
earlier,shedidn’thavetheexpensesthatsheoncedid.

Shehadfivehundredcharacterstoexpresseverythingsheneededtointhecard.Aftercountless

attemptsattrimmingdownherthoughtsAvelinedecidedtogoshort.Fourwordsshort.

Withadeepbreathsheplacedtheorderandhopedthathermessagegotthroughtohim.

ChapterTwenty-Two

Greertossedhiskeysinthebowlbythefrontdoor.Thehousewasquietashemadehiswaydown

thehalltothebackofthehousewherethekitchen,diningandlivingroomwas.Theentirebackwallof
hishousewasonegiantwindow.That,pairedwiththehighceilingsandveryopenfloorplanmadefora
veryairyspace.Usually,helovedthisroom.Spentthemajorityofhistimebackthere.Todayhishand
ached,ribsachedandheadached.BasicallyhefeltlikeawalkingTylenolad.Physicaltherapywasslow
goingandhehatedeveryminuteofit.Intheworldofinstantgratification,theslowprocessofhealingwas
torture.Hecouldcarelessabouthisbody,thatcouldtakeaslongasitwanted.Hell,ifheneverfully
healeditwouldn’tbeabigdeal.

Buthishand…
Greer’sfingersdidn’tbendright,theywerestiffandweak.Asamusician,hishandswere

everythingtohim.Theywerehisgreatestassetandrightnow,theyweren’tworking.Itwasfrustratingnot
beingabletomakeafist,letaloneplayhisbass.

Sawyerhadcanceledthelastfewdatesofthetour.Ifitwerejusthim,theycouldfindsomeoneto

stepinfortheremainingdatesbutwithNixouttoo,theyjustsaidfuckit.Thelabelwasn’thappybutthey
promisedtogettoworkontheirnextalbumtosmooththingsover.

Ifanything,itwasgoodtiming.SchoolhadstartedupagainsoGreerhadtherapyandhomeworkto

keephimbusy.Asplanned,Avelinewasintwoofhisclasses.Theyhadn’ttalkedatallbeyondthe
introductionstheyhadtogivetotheclass.Herswasgenericandcookiecutter,nothingliketheusual
charismaticbioshehadusedpreviously.Thenagain,sowashis.Theonlycommunicationhehadfromher
wasthenoteintheflowersshehadsenttwoweeksback.Theflowershadlongsincediedbutherwords
livedoninhismind.Thecardwasstuckonhisrefrigerator.Theonlythingtogracethestainlesssteel.
Dozensoftimesadayhelookedatit,wonderedaboutit,cursedit.Shehadgivenhimariddle.

Well,maybenot.Maybehewasjustmakingitseemlikeariddle.
“Healandhavepatience.”
Greerlookedatthecardnow.Heopenedthefreezertograbanicepackforhishandandthen

lookedatitagain.

Thehealingpartheunderstood.Itwentalongwiththegeneric“Getwellsoon,”ontheotherside.It

wasthepatiencepartthatdrovehiminsane.Patienceforwhat?Forhealingorforthem?

Heturnedfromthefrustratingnoteandsatatthetablewiththeiceonhishand.“Useless,”hesaidto

thestiffappendage.“Youareuseless.”Withouthishand,hefeltprettyuseless.It’snotlikehecoulddo
muchinhiscondition.Couldn’twritesince,ofcourse,itwashisdominanthand.Hecouldn’tplay…
anything.Hecouldbarelygethispantsonandshirtbuttonedinthemorning.

Ok,sohecouldn’tgethisshirtbuttoned.Thatwasbutadreaminhiswalkingnightmarecalledlife.
Atleastthebandwasbehindhim.Theywouldn’tperformagainuntilhewasuptofullstrength.That

couldtakesometimebutasRorysaid“We’vegottime.Wealsocoulduseabreak.”Thatwaspuretruth.
Whenhewasinthehospital,moreNixsightingsweregettingbacktoSawyer.Hisfriendstayedbyhim
insteadofheadingoffonthegoosechaseandman,ifthatdidn’tjusthithimrightintheheart.Brothers
man,theseguyswerehisfuckingfamily.Sawyerhadotherscheckouttheleadsbutasalways,theyfell
through.

Theone,though,theonesightinghadbeenbackatthebus.Greerhadgottenatingleofexcitement

whenheheard.WhatifNixhadheardabouteverythingandcametoseehim?Whatif…

Whatifhehadbeensittinginahospitalbedforfivedaysandneededanykindofgoodnewsto

graspatandoccupyhisotherwiseboringdays?GreerhadgottenthattingleofexcitementwhenJason
showedupwithaburgerandfriestoreplacewhateverthehelltheywerepassingoffasfoodatthe

hospital.Hewasn’trelyingonhis“tingles”veryheavily.

KellyhadcheckeditoutandtoldthemitwasjustanewroadiewhohadavagueresemblancetoNix

ifyousquintedrealhardandtiltedyourheadtotheleft.IftherewasonethingthatwouldgiveGreera
pickmeupitwouldbeNix’sreturn.

ThatortalkingtoAveline.
Havepatience.
Fuck,hehatedriddles.
Theyhadtwoclassestogetherandnotoncehadeitherofthemreachedouttotheother.Well,Greer

hadtriedbutalwaysfailedintheend.He’dtypeoutthislongandarduousemailwithmorefeelingsthan
anymanshouldbeabletoputintowords.Alldone,bytheway,withtwofingers,typingagonizinglyslow.
Butafterhereaditoverhewouldalwaysdeleteit.Self-doubtwaskillinghisgamerightnow.

Greerremovedtheiceandflexedhishand.Hecouldmakealoosefistatthispoint.Hewasdoing

good,notgreatandnotfastenoughtohisstandardsbuthisdoctorsanghispraises.WhatwouldAveline
thinkofhisprogress?Didsheevenknowhewasoutofthehospital?Sawyerhadsaidshepromisedto
comebackwhenhewokeupbutsheneverhad.Coldfeetwashisbestguess.Eitherthatorshereallywas
donewiththem.Shehadsaidshewasdone,hadbrokenupwithhimbuthewasstillholdingout.Having
patience.

God,hewasreallybeginningtohatethatword.

*****

DoctorSonyaCartywasupandwateringherflowersaroundtheroom.Sixsessionsintotherapyand

Avelinewasfeelinglighterthansheeverhadbefore.Shedidn’tfeellikeastrangerintheroomanymore,
thiscouchdidn’tintimidateherasithadthatfirsttime.Itwasnicetohaveanunbiasedpersontotalkto.
Someonewhodidn’tknowherpastanddidn’tjudgeherforanythingshefelt.Avelinefoundherselfbeing
moreopenandhonestwitheveryoneelsebecauseshewasbeingmorehonestwithherself.

Itwasempowering.
TodaytheyweretalkingaboutGreer.Shehadbeenputtingoffthatparticularsubjectforaslongas

shecouldandshegotawaywithitforthemostpart.Butnottoday.

“Itsoundslikeyoureallylovehim,”SonyasaidafterAvelineexplainedhowtheymetandtheir

relationshipupuntilthispoint.

Avelinedidn’thaveareplytothat.Yes,shehadbeenmakingwavesinthehonestytidepoolbutshe

hadnotapproachedthattidalwaveyet.

“It’suseless,though.Wecan’tseemtoeverfindevenground.”
“Whydoyousaythat?”SonyaaskedasshecamebacktoherchairacrossfromAveline.
“Somethingisalwaysgettinginthewayofusbeingtogether.FirstitwasJamieandthelikeness

betweenthemandthenitwasmymotherpassing.Nottomentionourconflictingschedules.”

Shewasnotconvinced.“Let’slookatthosetwoeventsfromadifferentangle.Idoagreethatthe

eventwithJamiedidpushyouapart,butwhowasitthatkeptyouapart?”

“Mebut-”
“Why?”sheinterruptedbeforeAvelinecouldgiveanexcuse.Sonyahatedexcuses.Thatwasthe

firstthingshehadexplainedtoAvelineduringtheirinitialsession.“Excuseswillgetyounowhere.Either
behonestorgetout.”

Sohonestyitwas.“Iwasscared.”
“Ofwhat?”
Whatwasshescaredof?Avelinesatforawhile,thinkingoftheanswertothequestion.Itwasn’tof

Jamie,hewasbeingtakencareof.Itwasn’tofGreer.Hewouldneverharmher.Sowhydidshepushhim
away?

“Gettingclose.”
Shenodded.“Good.Youareveryindependent,Aveline.Youhadtogrowuphardandfasttotake

careofyourmom.Youdon’tleanonpeopleunlessyouabsolutelyhaveto.EvenyourcousinRobisalast
resort.SowhenGreercameintoyourlife,hethreatenedyourindependencebecauseherewassomeone
whoyoufeltyoucouldleanon,whoyoucoulddependon.”

“Yes,”shesaidinadryvoice.ShesqueezedandtwistedtheglitterfilledstressballSonyahadher

playwithduringthesession.Itgaveherhandssomethingtodoandthedizzyingwaterfallofglitter
allowedhertofocusonsomethingwhileshethought.“Ididn’twanttorelyonanyoneelse.Forsolongit
hasjustbeenme.Greer’ssuchagoodman.Hewantedmore.”

“Morewhat?”
Avelinelookedup.Sonyawaswatchingher,listening.“Moreofme.”
“Areyouscarednow?”
Avelineshookherhead.“No.”
Sonyasmiled.“Good.Nowlet’srevisitthisresentmentyoufeel.DoyoustillthinkitisGreeryou

aremadat?”

“Notevenalittle,”Avelinesaidabitrelievedatfinallysayingitoutloud.“Ithinkhewasjustan

easytarget.”

EvenbeforeGreer,shefeltguilttowardshermotherandtheirsituation.Sowherehaditoriginated

from?Avelinealreadyestablishedthatitwasn’tbecauseofGreerbutshedidfeelguiltwhenleavingto
spendtimewithhim.WhatcamebeforeGreer?Work.School.Neitherofthosethingsgaveherevena
twangofcontrition.Sowhatwasit?Beforeallthatwasnothing.Theywerefinethen,normal.Thatwas
whenhermomwashealthyandshewasjustgettingstartedincollege.Itwastheaccidentthatchanged
everything.Theaccident…

Fuck.
Couldshebeanyworseofadaughter?Seriously.Avelinefeltsickenedasrealizationhit.
“TalktomeAveline.Whatareyouworkingthrough?”Sonyaasked.Shewasn’tonetotalkforthe

sakeoftalking.IfshesawAvelineworkingsomethingthroughthenshewouldsitbackandletherfigureit
outonherown.

“It’smymom.I’m…I’mmadatmymom.Ifshehadn’thadthataccidentthennoneofthiswouldhave

happened.Isthatcrazy?Ifeellikethissoundscrazybutitalsofeelsright.Iresentherforgettinginthat
accident.But…god,it'smorethanthat.It'sthatshelived.Shediedintheambulancebuttheygotherback.
Ifshewouldhavejuststayeddead…Ifeellikeahorriblepersonrightnow.Whothinksthatway?”

Sonyajotteddownsomethingonthenotepadshekeptbyherchair.“No,no,no.Notcrazyor

horrible.Justhuman.Sheupendedyourlife.Itmaynothavebeendoneonpurposebutitwasstilldone.
It’soktofeelangertowardher.”

“She’swhyIspentthelastfewyearsworkingmyassoffjusttobeindebt.WhyIdon’thavefriends

oranykindofsociallife.Iputeverythingonholdforherandnowthatsheisgone,Ihavenothing.”
Avelinefeltoutofbreathwiththeadmission.

“You’vebeenholdingontothisforyearsnow.Nowthatyou’veacknowledgedityoucanalsowork

onlettingitgo.Forgiveyourmomandyourselfandworkonbuildingthelifeyouwant.”

Thelifeshewanted.Whatisitthatshewanted?Forsolongitwasalwaysaboutwhathermom

needed.WantonlyfactoredintohertimewithGreer.Thatwastheonlytimeshegrabbedholdofwhatshe
wantedwithoutanyregardtoeveryoneelse,includinghermom.

“Ithinkthat’sagoodplacetoendtoday.Youhavealottoconsider.AndthinkaboutwhatIsaid

aboutyourresentment,Aveline.It’stimetoputyourselffirst.”

Avelinestoodandgrabbedherbag.“Iwill.Thankyou.”
“I’mhappywithyourprogress.Sohappy,infact,Ithinkwecancutbacktoonesessionaweek.

We’llmakeitanhourandahalfinsteadoftheusualhour,soundgood?”

Avelinenodded.DoctorSonyawasrightaboutonething,shehadplentytothinkabout.Shesaidher

goodbyesandmadeanappointmentforthefollowingweek.Sametime,sameday.

*****

Whenshegothome,Avelinepulledoutherbeatenlaptop.Shepickedattheducttapethatwas

holdingtheCDdriveinplaceasshewaitedforittobootup.Poorthinghadseenbetterdaysandsooner
orlateritwasgoingtodiecompletelyonher.Avelinesignedontoherschoolaccountandcheckedonall
thenotificationsshehadsincethelasttimeshesignedin,yesterday.Shewasgoingalongprettywell,the
therapysessionstillrollingthroughthebackofhermindwhenanamemadeherstop.

GreerMcQueenhasrepliedtoyourpost.
Avelineclickedthelinkandwassurprisedtoseehewasrespondingtoherinitialintroductorypost.

Everyprofessormadethemintroducethemselvesonlineinhopethatitwouldmakethemfeelless
isolated.Basically,itwasarundownofyourmajor,yourhometownandyourfavoritebook.Theywere
prettypointlessbecausenooneactuallyreadthem.Usuallyshemadehersprettyentertainingwithfun
factsaboutnonsense.Thisyearitwasthebasics.

ShenoticedGreerhaddonethesame.
Seeinghisavatar,thesameonehehadhadsincetheymet,stabbedatherheart.Avelinehadbeen

activelyignoringhisnameandfaceindiscussions.Hehadbeendoingthesameuntilnow.

Itlookslikeweareinanotherclasstogether.I’vegottaask.Areyoustalkingme?
Shelaughedoutloudashereyeswelledup.Beforeshecouldthinkbetterofit,shewasresponding.
Saysthestalkertothestalkee.
Sheputahandonherchestasshereadoverthewordsagain.Whatwouldmakehimreachoutlike

that?Avelineconsideredeverythingfromhewascheckingintohewasdrunkandwouldregretitinthe
morning.Hittingrefresheverythreesecondswasjustreiteratingthisstalkerideasoshemovedonto
actualhomework.Tenminutesintoreadingdiscussionpostsandformingaresponse,hercomputerpinged
withanotification.

ItwasGreeragain.
Stalking,patience.Tomato,tomato.
Avelinehadn’tevenhadtimetoprocesseverythingthathadgonedownintherapytoday.Shedidn’t

knowwhatshewantedtodoaboutGreerorhowtogoaboutit.Hewastellingherhewasstillthere.She
toldhimtohavepatienceandhewassayingwhat?Thathewasrunningoutofitorwasitjustafriendly
reminderthathewasstillwaiting?

Gutreactions.ThatwaswhatDoctorSonyawasteacherhertolistento.Beforetheworryanddoubt

couldcloudherjudgment,whatwasthefirstthingthatcametomind?

Herinitialreactionwastojump.Shedidn’tknowwhyhereachedout.Whynow?Buthehad.That

meantsomething.Avelinewasgoingtotackletheproblemoftheirrelationship,orlackthereof,that
weekend.Shewasgoingtoformulateaplan.Maybereachoutandaskedtoseehim.Shewantedtoknow
justhowdamagedtheywere.

Butherheartwastellinghertothrowawayherplansandlistsandjustjump.
Itwastimetostartbuildingthelifeshewanted.
Avelinetypedareply.Agrinonherfaceasshehitenter.
Rewardscometothosewhowait.

ChapterTwenty-Three

“It’ssoundingbetter.”
“Itsoundslikeshit.Fuckman,Ihaven’tplayedthisbadsincewewerefourteen.”Greershookout

hishandandtriedtheriffagain.Itwasthere,justtooslowandtoochoppy.Hisfingerswerescreamingat
himtostopbutGreerpushedon.He’dgetthis.Jasonwasmoreintuitivethanheletanyonethinkand
pushedthebowloficetowardsGreer.

“Takeabreak,”hetoldhim.
Greerputdownhisbassandsunkhisfingersintotheicebath.
“Youreallyarecomingalongwell.Don’tpushitthough.Wehaveplentyofotherthingswecan

workonrightnow.”

Greerlookedupathisfriendfromunderthebrimofhishat.“Likefanmail?”
Jasongrinned.“Don’tmockthefanmail.Ifsomeonetakesthetimetowriteoutanactualletteron

realpaperandmailsitwithastampandeverything,thenI’mgoingtotakethetimetoreply.”

“Betteryouthanme.”
“Soyougonnatellmetherealreasonwhyyouinvitedmeoverheretoday?Ican’timagineitwas

justtohearyoubitchandmoanaboutyourplaying.”Jasonleanedbackinhischair,proppinghisfeetup
ontheunlitfirepit.FallwasfastapproachingandGreerwasreadytogetsomeuseoutofthething.

“Iuh,talkedtoAvalastnight.”Sortof.
“What?”Jasonsatup.“That’sgreat.What-”
“Calmdownthere.Itwasn’tanythingearthshattering.Ijustmadeacommentonanolddiscussion

boardandsheresponded.”Hetookhishandfromtheiceandshookoffthewater.“Shesaidthatrewards
cometothosewhowait.”

“Why’dyoureachout?Ithoughtyouweregivingherspace.”
“Fuckspace,”hesaidtossinghishandsintheair.Greerleanedbackandfoldedhisarms.“Igave

herspaceandIgavehertime.Sheneededtogivemesomething.Somethingmorethanafewwordson
paper.IneedtoknowI’mnotwastingmytime,whichIam.Noguyintheirrightmindwouldwaitaround
foragirlwhobrokeupwithhim.Theymoveon,notsittherelikealapdogandwaitforthemtocome
around.”

Jasonshookhisheadnotagreeing.“Thecircumstancesweredifferentthanmost.Shebrokeupwith

youthroughgrief.”

“Iknowthat,”hesaidtooloudly.“Dammit,Iknow.That’swhyI’mstillhere,waiting.ButImiss

her.”Greertookhishatoffandrubbedhishead.“Imisseverythingabouther.Shemademehappy,still
does.Idon’tknowhowsinceIhaven’tseenherinweeksbutwhenIthinkofhersmile,Ismile.”

“She’sbeenintherapy.”
GreerlookedatJasonwithnothingbutconfusion.“What?Howdoyouknowthat?”
“Imighthavecalledher,”heconfessed.“Shehadsaidshewantedtobekeptuptodateandnoone

evertoldherthatyouweremovedbackhereandthatyougotoutofthehospital.IthoughtSawyerhadand
heassumedIdid.Ifeltbad,soIcalledher.Wetalkedforliketenminutes.Shesoundedrelievedtohear
youweredoingwell.ApparentlyRobsetherupwithatherapistandshe’sbeenworkingthrough
everything.”

Greerwasshocked.HewasjealousthatJasoncouldjustpickupthephoneandcallherandshe

wouldanswer.Justlikethat.Wouldsheanswerhiscall?

Butmorethanthat,hewassurprisedtohearthatshewasgettinghelp.Notthathethoughtsheneeded

it.Well,theyallprobablycouldbenefitfromsometherapybutGreerthoughtAveline’sreactionstowhat
happenedwerenormal.

“Ishouldgetgoing,”Jasonsaidashelookedathisphone.“Don’tpushyourhandtoofar.Andfor

god’ssake,stopliftingheavyshit.TheDocsaidnothingoverfivepounds.IfIseethatamphasmoved
again,I’mgoingtobepissed.”

Greernoddedbuthadnointentionofcomplying.Hisribsscreamedathimwhenheliftedevenlight

things,buthewouldnotputhislifeonholdjustbecausesomethinghurt.Healsohadnointentionofgoing
tothefollowupappointmentnextweek.Hewasfine.Healing.Whydidheneedtopaysomeonetotell
himwhathealreadyknew?Plus,hehatedneedlesandlatelyalltheywantedtodowaspokehim.

“I’llcomebytomorrow,”Jasonsaid,ashestood.Greerwavedhisfriendoffandtradedhisbassfor

theguitar.Hedidn’tplayanythingheavy,justletsoftandslowmelodies.Stuffhecouldactuallyhandle
withhisbustedhand.Greerleanedbackinhischair,gettinghimselfcomfortableandthenclosedhiseyes
andplayedtothecrispfallday.

SoAvelinewasgettinghelp.Hesmiled.Maybethat’swhysherepliedtohiscomment.Hecould

havejustemailedher,orhell,textedher.Buthewasn’tsurehowhewouldbereceived.Greerwentwith
thecommentbecauseitwouldbeeasytoignoreifshereallywasdonebutalsoeasytoreplyto.Herreply
gavehimhope.Hetoldhimselfhewouldn’twaitaroundforherforeverbutlet’sbereal,hetotallywould.
Greerlovedthatgirl.He’dwaitamillenniaforher.

Thesqueakofthebackgatepulledhimfromthelazymoodhewasin.Atalmostafulllounge,he

hadhisguitarrestingeasyonhisstomachandhisheadproppedonapillow.Thecloudsoverheadwere
fluffyandbold,helikedwatchingthemalmostasmuchashelikeddoingthesamethingatnightwiththe
stars.

“Overhere,”hecalledtowhowouldeitherbeSawyer,Roryorhisparents.Privacywasathingof

thepastwhenyouwerehealingfromsurgery.

Greerturnedhishead,hishandsstillstrummingthestringstofindAvelinestandingattheedgeofhis

deck.

“Iuh,rangthebellbutyoudidn’tanswer.Iheardyouplayingandtookachance,”shesaid.Her

voiceshakingwithnerves.Avelinetookaquickglancearound.Seeinghewasalone,hereyesfellback
onhis.“IhopeitsokthatI’mhere.”

Hishandhadstoppedmidstrumashestaredather.ThemiragethatwasAvelinesmiledhesitantly.

Shelookedgood,beautifulofcourse,buthealthy.Thedarkcirclesthatusuallyshadowedhertiredeyes
werenolongerthere.Shehadherhairclippedbackandnewglasses.Hereallylikedhernewglasses.
Theymadeherlookextrastudious,whichheloved.

Greerputdownhisguitarandsatupoffthelounger.Hisribsachedashepushedhimselfupandhe

couldn’thidethepainthatcrossedhisface.Whenhelookedupagain,Avelinehadcomecloser.She
lookedworried.

“Youdon’thavetogetup,butcanwetalk?”
Herealizedthenthatshewasworriednotonlybecausehelookedlikehewasabouttobirtha

kidney,butalsobecausehehadn’tsaidanythingyet.

“Yes,I’dlikethat.”Greerpattedtheseatbesidehim,theoneJasonhadvacatedearlier.
“Youlookbetter,”shesaidcomingtositbesidehim.
Hedidn’t,hestilllookedlikeshit.Thebruisinghadgonefromdeeppurpletoayellowthatjust

madehimlooksickly.Hisbandagesweregonebutstitchesgracedafewareasofhisbody.Roryhad
takentocallinghimFrankenstein.Greergaveuptryingtoexplaintohimastowhythatwasincorrectand
hewouldactuallybeFrankenstein’smonsterandnotFrankensteinhimself.

“It’sslowgoing.Thisismybiggestproblemrightnow.”Greerhelduphishand.
Avelinefrownedasshelookedatitandthentohissurprise,shereachedoutandgrabbedit.Her

touchwassosoftthatitwasbarelyeventhere.Sheturnedhishandoverinhers,coveringit,healingit.

“I’msosorryyouhadthishappentoyou.”

“Notyourfault,Ava.”
“Iwentbacktothehospitalbutyouhadbeenmoved,”sheconfessedandlethishandgo.
Greer’slipstwitchedinasmile.Soshehadcomeback.“Ididn’tknow.”Hereachedforwardand

grabbedherhandfromherlapandclaspeditbetweenhis.Thatwasbetter.

Avelineswallowedasshelookedattheirhands.Alookhecouldn’tplacecrossedherfaceandthen

herfingerstightenedaroundhis.“Greer,”shebeganbutwasstilllookingattheirhands.

“Ava,”heresponded,asmileinhisvoice.
“I’vefiguredsomethingsout.ThingsthatIneedtotellyou.”
Greerrubbedhisthumboverherknuckles.“Ok.Youcantellmeanything.”
Shenodded.“Iblamedyou.EvenasIdidit,Iknewitwasn’trightbutIwantedsomeonetotakethe

blameforitall.Ididn’twanttoseethefactthatthepersonIwasactuallymadatwasmymom.I’mhere
becauseIwantedtoapologizeforpushingalloftheguiltIfeltontoyou.”

Greerwasamazedatthewomanbeforehim.Shehadcometosomanyconclusionsaboutherself

andwasworkingonfixinghermistakes.Onethingshewouldalwayshave,nomatterwhat,washis
respect.

“Ihopeyouknowthatyoudidnothingwrong.Whatwehaveisnotsomethingtofeelguiltyabout,”

shecontinued.

Have.
Didshesayhave?
Hiseyebrowsroseasheaskedher,“Whatwehave?”
Herlipstwitchedintoaquicksmile.“EventhoughIwantedtocometoyouonceIheardyouwere

releasedfromthehospital,IknewIneededtoworkonsomethingsfirst.Ineededtoworkonmyself.I’ve
beenintherapyforthreeweeksnow,justgettingmyheadonstraight.IknewifItoldyouthenyouwould
getthatlookthatyouhaveonyourfacerightnowandsaythatIdon’tneedtoworkonshit.I’mperfectand
allthatcrap.”

Shewasn’twrong.
“SoImadeyouwaitandIunderstandifyouhavemovedon-”
“Ihaven’t,”heinjected.
Herblushwasbeautiful.
“Youdon’thavetosayanythingelse,Ava.Apologyaccepted,allisforgiven,blahblahblah,let’s

kissandmakeup.”

Shesnortedandpushedhimintheshoulder.
“You’vegotmehookedAva.Youhavetoknowthat.I’mjusttrollingalongbehindyouwaitingfor

youtoreelmein.”Greerstoppedaminuteandthoughtoverwhathejustsaid.“Doyouhavepenand
paper?”heaskedsuddenly.

“Uh…”
“Nevermind.JustrememberwhatIsaid.”
Shelaughed.“Idon’tthinkI’llbeforgettinganytimesoon.Why?”
Greergrinned.“Lyrics,Baby.Lyrics.”Heputhishandsonherwaistandtuggedhertowardhim.

IgnoringthepaininhisabdomenandtheshithewouldgetfromJasonandhisdoctoriftheysawhimdo
whathewasabouttodo,GreerpickedAvelineupandpulledherintohislap.Heheldher,savoredthe
solidweightofherinhisarmsandkissedher.

“Imissedyou,”hesaidintothekiss.
Herfingersbrushedthebackofhisneck.Shekissedhimoncemorebeforelettingherforeheadrest

onhis.

“Iloveyou.”
Andjustlikethat,hewashealed.Forgetthedoctorsandhospitals.Thestitchesandpain

medications.Thesurgeryandrecovery.Herlovefarexceededanymedicinetheycouldgivehim.

“Willyoustaywithme?Aday,amonth,alifetime,I’lltakeanyofit.Justcomeandstaywithme.

Letmeloveyou,Ava.LetmeshowyouhowmuchIloveyoueveryday.”

Herarmswrappedaroundhisneckasshehuggedhimclose.Greerburiedhisheadintothecrookof

herneck.Hisarmspulledhercloseuntiltheywerepracticallyonebody.Hefeltherheadnodagainsthis
shoulder.

“Yes.Ok,yes.”
Hepulledbacktolookather.“Yeah?”
Shenodded.“Yeah.FornowitwillbeaweekendbutIwantmore.Iwanttogivemore.”
Hereachedahandupandcombedbacksomeofherhairandthenpulledherforwardintohiskiss.

“That’sallI’veeverwanted,”hesaidagainstherlips.“YouareallI’veeverwanted.”

Epilogue

ThreeMonthsLater
“I’mdone!”Avelinesquealedfromherspotatthekitchentable.Shehadtakenovertwodaysprior,

whenshehadstartedherfinals.Books,scrappaper,emptycups,bagsofchips,pens,highlightersand
post-itnoteslitteredeveryinchofthelongmahoganytable.Sheremovedherglassesandgavehereyesa
rub.Onlyeighthoursofsleepinthelastthreedays.Sheprobablycouldhavestretchedittotenbutshe
didn’twanttoriskit.Avelinehadfivefinalstocomplete,allbeforetomorrowmorningwhensheleftwith
thebandforaminitour.

“Shutup.I’mnotdoneyet,”Greergrumbledfromwherehesatonthefloorinthelivingroom.He

hadclaimedthecoffeetableandwasbusytypingawayatapaper.

Greer’shandwasgood.Betterthangood.Fourweeksago,hehadplayedtheequivalentofafull

concertwiththebandandhadn’tcrampeduponce.Everyoneagreedthattheywouldwaituntilafterfinals
andthenhittheroadfortwoweekstomakeuptheshowstheyhadmissedthatsummer.

Avelinestoodandstretched.Herbackcrackedinthemostdelightfulofwaysbutshefrownedatthe

odorcomingoffofher.“That’sattractive,”shemurmured.Herlastshowerhadbeen…God,shehadno
idea.Hadsheshowedsinceshestartedherfinals?

Thatwasdefinitelystepone.
Shower.Pack.Sleep.
Possiblyfoodtoo.Foodthatwasn’theatedupinamicrowaveordelivered.
Oh,andsheneededtocallRob.Ithadbeenafewweekssinceshehadbeenhomelast.Althoughshe

wasstillpayingthemortgageonherhouse,shedidn’tlivethere.Basically,Greerworkedhisninjaskills
onherandtrickedherintostayingwithhimonasemi-permanentbasis.Thedealwasthatshewould
moveinforthesemesterbutonlyifhecouldfindherajob.Withinaweekofthedealbeingmade,they
weremovingsomeofherstuffin.GreerhadhookedherupwithDarcy,theirmanager’sassistant,andjust
likethat,shewasRustedandReckless’socialmediaconsultant.Basically,shehungoutwiththebandand
tweetedaboutwhattheyweredoing.Ithadtakenafewdaystogetthegistofitbutnowshewasapro.
TheguysallhadtheirownaccountsbutshedealtwiththegeneralFacebook,Twitter,Instagram,
SnapChatandTumblrfeeds.

Whentheylefttomorrowontour,shewouldbegoingalongandbegettingpaidforit.
AvelineleftGreertohistypingandwentuptotheirbathroom.Shestrippedonceshegottothe

bedroomandinonemotion,tossedherclothesonthefloor.She’dpickthemuplaterbutrightnowallshe
wantedwastowashawaythelastfewmonthsofschoolstress.Shehadsixgloriousweeksofveggingto
do.

ShehadonlybeguntolatherherhairwithshampoowhentheGreersteppedinbehindher.He

wrappedhisarmsaroundher,kissingherwetshoulder.

“Alldone?”sheasked,turningaroundsoshecouldrinseherhairandfacehim.
Hegrinnedwideandcuppedherbreastswhileherhandswerebusy.“Iam.CanyoureaditbeforeI

handitin?”

“Ofcourse.”Theyswitchedplacesonceshewasallrinsed.Greerhadmoremoneythanwas

necessaryforoneperson.Ifheretiredtoday,hewouldbesetforlife.Thatbeingsaid,oneofthethings
shelovedmostabouthimwasthefactthathelivedandshoppedlikehedidn’thavemoney.

Caseinpoint--heusedOldSpicebodywashandshampoo.
“WhyshouldIspend$75onsomethingthatcleansmybody?”hehadaskedherthefirsttimeshe

noticed.“AndIonlyboughtthisbecauseitwasonsale.”

Hewasthatwaywithmostthingsincludingclothes,shoesandfood.Hesplurgedonhishome,his

instrumentsandanythingpertainingtoAveline.Hisgiftswereusuallypracticalsinceheknewshewould
protestotherwise.Afewweeksago,afterhefoundherinthebedroomreplacingtheducttapeonher
laptop,heboughtheranewone.Beforethatithadbeenabookshelfintheoffice,completewithallher
favoriteauthors.Sure,shehadthosesamebooksathome,theywererattypaperbackstohispristine
hardbacksbutthewordswerethesame.Nowshehadthemheretoo.

“SoIwasthinking…”
Ohboy.
Thelasttimehewas“thinking”theyendedupspontaneouslyflyingtoWestVirginiafortheweekend

becausehehadandurgetogoraftingandacravingforlasagnaatthislittlemomandpopItalianplace.
Andthetimebeforethat,theydrugthemattressoutsidesotheycouldsleepunderthestars.

Sheadoredhisoffthewallideas.
Greertiltedhisheadbackandlethishaircatchinthestreamofwater.“Ihaveadealforyou,”he

saidwipingwaterfromhiseyes.

Avelinereachedpasthimforherconditioner.“Aren’twestillinthemiddleofthefirstdeal?”
Hesmirked.“Actually,asoftenminutesago,whenyouhandedinyourlastfinalthatdealended.

Thesemesterisover.Youcangohomeatanypoint.”

Well,shehadn’tconsideredthat.Avelinefoundherselfalittledisheartenedatthethoughtofgoing

home.“Ok.Sowhatisyournewdeal?”

Hegrabbedherhipsandturnedthemagainsoshewasinthewarmsprayofthewater.“Youmovein

herepermanently.”

Avelinewasn’tsurewhatsheexpectedhimtosaybutthatwasn’tit.“Butwhataboutmyhouse?”

Theoneshewaspayingamortgageonbutnotlivingin.

Greerpickedupthebarofsoapandlathereditinhishands.Whenhereachedforher,therewasa

glintofpurepleasureinhiseye.“Seethat’swheremypartofthedealcomesin...I’vealreadytakencare
ofyourhouse.”

Asniceashisskilledhandswereatcleaningher,thiswastooseriousofaconversation.Aveline

pushedhishandsaway.Hepoutedlikeshehadtakenawayhisfavoritetoy.“Whatdoesthatmean?”

“Robhasagreedtobuyitfromyou.”
“What?”Robwasinonthistoo?
“Italkedtohimand-”
“Youtalkedtohim?Themanrentingaroominmyhouse?Talkedtohimaboutbuyingmyhouse

withoutspeakingtomeaboutitfirst?”Avelineturnedoffthewater.Shegrabbedhertowelfromthehook
ithungonrightoutsidetheshower.

“I’mtalkingtoyouknow,”hesaidabitconfused.
ShesteppedoutoftheshowerandawayfromGreer.“Whywouldn’tyoutalktomefirstaboutthis?

It'smyproperty.Hell,it'smylife.”

Greergrabbedhisowntowelandwrappeditaroundhiswaist.“Youreallywanttogobacktoa

longdistancerelationshipafterlivingwithmefortwelveweeks?”

“OfcourseIdon’t,”shestatedlettingherangertingethewords.“Butyoudon’tsellmyhouse

behindmybackevenifitistoRob.”

Greergrinnedlikehehadasecretonlyhewasprivyto.“Soyoudowanttostayhere.”
“Well,duh!Iwasgoingtotalktoyouaboutitontour.”
Herolledhiseyesathercontinuedangerandpulledherintoanembrace.Hekissedherneckand

thenframedherfacewithhishands,makingherlookathim.“Ava,youcandroptheattitude.Iwasjust
tryingtohelpandhappenedtofindasolutionthatworksforeveryone.Youaregoingtolivehere,with
me,foreverandeverandRobgetstoofficiallyownthehomethathehasbeenlivinginandmaintaining
forafewmonths.Youknowhestartedredecoratingawhileback,right?”

Shehuffedoutabreathandletherhandssettleonhiswaist,rightabovethetowel.“Yeah,wewere

videochattingandIcaughtaglimpseofthenewpaint.Heneverevenaskedifhecouldpaintthekitchen.”

“It'sugly.”
Shelaughed.“It’shideous.”
“See,youdon’twanttoownahousewithanorangekitchen!Thiswayeverybodywins.”
“Greer,Ihavenoproblemmovinginhereandsellingmyhouse.AllIaskisthatnexttimeyou

consultwithmefirst.”

Henoddedandshesawthathereallywaslistening.OnethingthatGreerdidwellwaslistento

whatshesaid.“Icandothat.”

Avelinesmiled,whichmadehimsmile.
“Sohowshouldwecelebrateournewlivingarrangement?”heasked,allinnocence.
“New?We’vebeendoingthisfor-”
Greerstoppedherwithafingeronhermouth.“Shhh.Thisisnew.Beforeitwastemporaryandnow

itispermanent.Itdeservestobecelebrated.”

Avelineraisedaneyebrow.Hewantedacelebration?Well,she’dgivehimone.Withatugshe

pulledoffhistowelandwatcheditfalltothefloor.Theybothlookeddownatthetitlewherethewet
towelpooledattheirfeet.Greerlookedbackatherwithamischievoussmile.Hetookacuefromherand
unwrappedherfromhertowel.“See,Iwasthinkingicecreambutifthisishowyouwanttocelebrate,far
beitformetostandinyourwayofhappiness.”

Shecouldonlyrollhereyes.Thismanwastoomuchattimes.Tooamusing.Tooinfuriating.Too

loving.Toosexy.Tooannoying.Toogenerous.Toocrazy.Too…perfect.

“IbelieveI’mcallinginmythree,”Avelinesaidashelaidakissonherlips.
Theirbodies,heatedandprimedfromtheshower,cametogetherinthesteamyroom.“Yourthree?”

heaskedbetweenkisses.

Shenoddedandletherhandsbegintoroam.“YoustillowemethreeorgasmsfromtheHershey

concert.”

Hepausedlongenoughtoletanexuberantsmilespreadacrosshisface.“Ido,don’tI?Well,Ibetter

getstraighttowork.”

ComingSoon

WantmoreRustedandReckless?

JasonwillbebackinJolt(RustedandReckless,Book2)releasingJuneof2017.

Whileyouwait,whydon’tyoujoinCharlotteCasey’snewslettersoyoucankeepupwiththeguys.

CLICKHERETOSIGNUP

AbouttheAuthor

CharlotteCasey’srootsincountrygobacktosingingAchyBreakyHeartinhercarseatatthetopofher

lungs.Shefindsnothingsweeterandnothingmoredesirablethanasouthernmanwithdrawl.With

aromanticatheart,Charlottecouldn’timaginereadingorwritinganythingthatdoesn’trevolvearound

romance.Herstoriesmaybefictionbuthercharacterswillleapfromthepagesandpullyouintotheir

world.

Don'tmissout!

ClickthebuttonbelowandyoucansignuptoreceiveemailswheneverCharlotteCaseypublishesanew

book.There'snochargeandnoobligation.

https://books2read.com/r/B-A-XTOD-QGIL

Connectingindependentreaderstoindependentwriters.

Document Outline

Contents
Copyright
Dedication
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Nineteen
Chapter Twenty
Chapter Twenty-One
Chapter Twenty-Two
Chapter Twenty-Three
Epilogue
Coming Soon
About the Author
Sign up for Charlotte Casey's Mailing List

Wyszukiwarka

Podobne podstrony:
Rusted Black and White Pictures
Iserbyt, Charlotte All Children left Behind How Federal Education Reform dramatically alters the Pu
Charlotte Mistry The Soldier and the Wolf
Reckless And Yours Red Garnier
PTSD Guilt and shame among reckless drivers
Reckless Conduct Blue Line Boo Brandy Ayers
To Kill a Mockingbird Analysis of Boo Radley, Atticus, and doc
#0921 Describing Chance and Probability
chancers and the chartery of the kings of sicily
Kuzmicova Anezka; Mangen Anne; Stole Hildegunn; Begnum, Anne Charlotte Literature and Readers Empat
0415300983 Routledge Cause and Chance Causation in an Indeterministic World Dec 2003
Postmodernity and Postmodernism ppt May 2014(3)
Scoliosis and Kyphosis
L 3 Complex functions and Polynomials
4 Plant Structure, Growth and Development, before ppt
Osteoporosis ľ diagnosis and treatment
05 DFC 4 1 Sequence and Interation of Key QMS Processes Rev 3 1 03
Literature and Religion

więcej podobnych podstron

Chance Rusted and Reckless Boo Charlotte Casey

Document Outline