1.Popsicle

BPOV

“I’m not going!”

I pulled out a handful of my clothes from the suitcase that my mother, Renee, was packing and

threw them onto my bed. Well, my bare mattress. She’d already stripped everything off the bed

before I’d gotten home.

“You’re going, Bella!” She grabbed the clothes and threw the wrinkled ball back into the suitcase.

“Move!”

I sneered as she shoved me out of the way and placed another pile of clothes into the unfortunate
black bag that signified the end of life as I knew it. If she wasn’t my mother, I’d have thrown her

down to the ground and ripped her hair out.

“It’s not a big deal, Mom! You’re overreacting.” I decided to try my hand at bargaining. I’d always

been able to talk Renee into or out of anything.

“Bella, I’m done. He was 24 years old! You’re 17. He’s lucky I don’t get him thrown into jail!”
I cringed at the mention of him. It was a stupid mistake on my part. If I’d have known what the

outcome of it was going to be, I’d have avoided that bastard altogether.

“Mom, it was one time. One time! I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s not one time. The way you’ve been acting just keeps getting worse and it’s going to stop.”

I put on my sad, troubled, ‘only child who’s acting out’ face, but she didn’t budge. Renee walked

into the hallway and threw an open cardboard box into my room.

“Whatever you want to bring, throw it in here. And, hurry up. You have a flight to catch.”

I crossed my arms over my chest and planted my feet, peering down at the unholy box with

contempt.

“I’m not going. You can’t make me go.”

“You’re right. But if you’d like, I can call Charlie, and I’m sure he’ll have absolutely no problem

getting you out of here. Even if he has to pick you up and throw you in the car.”

Damn it, Renee was good. If Charlie had to have any involvement in the move, he’d make my life

hell once I got there. More so then what he was already planning on.

I said nothing. I just stood there and looked at her with as much disdain as I could manage.

“Don’t look at me like that, Bella. You asked for this.”

Still, I said nothing. If she was shipping me away, the silent treatment was the only thing I could do

that would have a lasting effect.

I gazed around the room, looking for anything that I could bring with me to make this whole “living

in bumblefuck adventure” bearable. I spotted my iPod and my laptop on my desk, but Renee

followed my eyes and snatched them up before I could do anything.

“Not these. If you need them that badly, convince Charlie to buy them. This isn’t a vacation.”

My breathing sped up, and I exhaled loudly through my nose. I was too livid to keep arguing.

“I know you’re angry, but this will be good for you. And when you learn how to act the way a

normal and respectable teenager should, you can come back.”

“Fuck off.” I slammed the door on her face as she stood there in the hallway, trying to make nice

with me. That bitch. This shit was unforgivable.

I looked around at the sad space that was no longer my bedroom. Renee had already taken the

liberty of packing all my clothes. Like I could wear any of that shit in Washington, anyway. It

fucking rained every day where my father lived. I didn’t even know what rain attire consisted of. A

raincoat? Rain boots? I was pretty damn sure that neither of those were in my suitcase.

I hadn’t been to see my father in two years, but the two weeks of the summer that I had to spend in

Forks had always been the most dreadful time of the year for me. There was nothing to do there.

Charlie was boring as hell, and I’d never seen another person around town that was my age. I spent

most of the time watching TV or sleeping. That was what my future was going to consist of, with

school thrown in. God, I hated Renee.

The box was too big for the stuff I’d thrown into it. Some frames with pictures of my friends. A

couple of books that I’d already read 50 times. My CD collection. That was pretty much it. I taped

the box up and kicked it into the hallway, shaking it and making more noise then was necessary.

Renee’s life was going to be torturous until I left.

A couple of hours later, I was sitting in the drop off zone of the airport in Phoenix, trying my

hardest to put on my brave face. Fuck, I wished I had just behaved like she wanted. I didn’t want to

leave Phoenix. But, it was too late. I threw the door open and got out, slamming it as hard as I
could. The trunk was popped open, so I pulled my suitcase out and started walking toward the

doors, not giving Renee a farewell.

“Bella, I love you. Trust me, this is for you.” I stopped walking when I heard her voice, but I didn’t

turn around to look at her. I wanted her to feel guilty for what she was doing to me. Without another

word, I walked through the sliding doors, dragging my suitcase behind me.

The entire plane ride to Seattle, I panicked. I had yet to talk to Charlie about any of this. It was sure

to be an awkward meeting, and I didn’t know if he planned on grounding me, or doing the typical

parental, “I’m not mad, I’m disappointed” act, or if he would just pretend that nothing had happened

and let me start with a clean slate. I was hoping on the latter, no matter how far fetched it seemed.

He decided on the “disappointed” act.

“Are you mad at me, too?” I tapped my fingernail against the window, breaking the three hours of

silence that had been going on in the cruiser.

“No.”

Charlie was always a man of few words.

“So, why aren’t you talking?”

He sighed and rubbed his chin. “I’m just disappointed that it’s come to this, Bella.”

“Well, blame Renee for her shitty parenting skills.”

“Watch your mouth, please.”

I rolled my eyes and leaned back against the headrest, looking at the ceiling. It was pitch dark out,

and I swear that as soon as I saw the “Welcome to Forks: Population 12” sign, or whateverthehell it

said, it started pouring. The swishing of the windshield wipers didn’t make the tension in the car

any less bearable.

It was almost midnight when we pulled up in front of Charlie’s house. As soon as I stepped out of

the car, my foot sunk into a muddy puddle. Ugh. I shook off my sandal before I dragged myself to

the front door. Charlie brought my suitcase up to my room and turned the light on, leaving me there

to make myself at home. The yellow paint, that I was pretty sure had been there since I was born,
was dreary. The only furniture in there was a double bed wedged in the corner, a small dresser up

against the opposite wall, and an empty desk that was going to remain empty since that evil wench

was holding my laptop hostage. In Charlie’s defense, he’d added a TV to the top of the dresser. I

needed to redecorate, stat. I was too tired and way too pissed to unpack or do anything productive,

so I flopped down face down on top of my bed, and fell asleep.

I thought I was dreaming when I woke up in the morning and had to shield my eyes. There was sun

streaming through the one lone window in my room. Groggily, I slid over to the window and

managed to wedge it open after a slight struggle. That window probably hadn’t been opened in

years. I noticed a loud, rumbling noise coming from the front of the house as I stuck my head out

and felt the warmth on my face. There was no way I was going to sit inside on one of the rare nice

days in Forks, so after brushing my teeth and throwing my hair in a ponytail, I hopped down the

stairs and looked around for Charlie. He was nowhere around. The noise was still coming from

outside, so I opened the front door and looked out.

Charlie was standing in the driveway, looking under the hood of an old, red truck. I sauntered over

to him and tapped him on the shoulder, breaking his concentration.

“What’s this?”

He closed the hood and shrugged. “It’s for you.”

I was shocked. I got in trouble with Renee and as punishment get sent to live with Charlie who…

buys me a car? Albeit, a shitty car, but still, it didn’t make sense.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, you need to get around somehow. I can’t be driving you everywhere. Plus, if you didn’t have

a car you’d be trapped here all day… I don’t want you to feel like you’re in jail.”

I walked around the truck, observing it. Charlie watched me inquisitively.

“What do you think?”

“I like it, Charlie. It has character.” He smiled as I popped the driver’s side door open and hopped

into the cab. I rolled the window down and stuck my head out. “You didn’t have to do this, you

know.”

“I wanted to. Consider it an early birthday present.”

I laughed and gave him a thumbs up.

“Thanks, Dad.” I stepped on the gas, making the engine growl. “I’m gonna take it out for a test run.

Do you need anything?”

“Nope, I’m good.” He waved and watched as I reversed out of the driveway and gunned it down the

street.

The second I pulled out of our road, the sun retreated behind a cloud and everything instantly

darkened. Ridiculous. Forks was a pretty pathetic place. There were a few small, prestigious

neighborhoods on the outskirts of town, but besides for that it was typical suburban dullsville with

one main street. I figured I’d go and buy some basic necessities, so I made my way to the only

General Store in town- appropriately named “Forks General”. When I pulled in front of the store,

there were no cars in the parking lot. I doubted it was even open.

I yanked open the door and heard a little bell tinkling my arrival. Some old dude at the counter

nodded at me as I waved and grabbed a basket. The place was empty. Surprisingly, I found most of

the stuff I needed easily. The only obstacle was the shampoo. It was all the way on the top shelf, and

I felt like an asshole having to ask the guy to come over and grab it for me. So, I jumped up and

tried to grab it, but due to my lack of coordination, I nearly knocked over everything in the vicinity.

I heard a giggle at the end of the aisle, and I turned to face it, embarrassed.

“Do you need help or something?” There was a girl standing there with big curly hair, smiling.

“Um, yeah… shampoo.”

“Here, let me do you a favor.” She used the bottom shelf to lift herself up with ease and grabbed a

bottle next to the one I’d attempted to get before. “It’s summertime. You could use the hydration.”

“Thanks… I guess.” I tossed the shampoo into my basket, brushing off her blunt insult of my hair.

“Who are you?”

“I’m Bella. I just moved here yesterday.”

The girl cringed and gave me a look of pity. “Really? Why?”

I laughed. Apparently I wasn’t the only one with a negative outlook on Forks life.

“I got in a little trouble. So I got sent to live with my dad, Charlie. He’s the-”

“Chief of Police.” She finished the sentence for me.

“Yep.”

“Sorry about that. I’m Jessica.” I squeezed out a polite smile. “Are you going to be starting school

here next week?”

“Apparently.”

“A senior?” I nodded. “Me too! Well… I guess I’ll see you at school, huh?”

“Yep. Bye… Oh, and thanks for this,” I said as I pointed into my basket.

After paying for my stuff, I walked back outside, sighing with delight. The clouds had lifted and

when I looked at the sky, all I could see was blue. I drove back home, motivated and unpacked my

stuff. I figured I’d make the best of this situation, no matter how atrocious it was.

“Bella!”

I heard Charlie calling me from the bottom of the stairs. I made my way down and saw him

standing next to the damn box I’d packed the day before. Renee must’ve overnighted it. After

ripping the tape off, I stared down into the pathetic remnants of my life in Phoenix. Yanking

Wuthering Heights from the bottom of the random pile of crap, I booked it up the stairs and changed

into a bikini before returning to the foyer. Charlie raised an eyebrow at my choice of attire.

“What? Ever heard of AC, Charlie?”

“It’s not necessary here. There’s a hose outside, if you want to cool off. But, put a shirt on or

something first.”

I ignored him and slid my big black sunglasses over my eyes before hopping onto the front porch.

Plopping down on the steps, I made myself comfortable with my book. The warm weather made it

feel a little like home.

After a little while, I heard the distant melody of the ice cream truck in the distance. I grabbed a

couple dollars from my purse and sauntered to the edge of the yard, tapping my foot on the ground

in anticipation. The truck slowed to a stop in front of me and I smirked at the creepy guy inside

before staring at the menu. I decided on a typical Popsicle, sticking it in my mouth and handing the

guy the money before he pulled away.

I stayed standing in the yard, since the direct sunlight was beating on my face. The heat made the

ice pop melt quicker than usual, and it started dripping down my fingers. I used my tongue to clean

each one off individually.

“Sexy.” I heard a melodic, male voice shout from across the street. I’d been so involved in what I

was doing, I hadn’t even heard the silver Volvo pulling up.

My cheeks uncontrollably blushed when I caught a glimpse of the guy leaning against the car,

smirking at me. Good GOD, he was ridiculously sexy. His face was perfect, like a damn statue or

something. He had these dark, piercing green eyes with long eyelashes around them, and these high,

jutting cheekbones like a fucking supermodel. And he had this wide, square, chiseled jaw that had a

really light shadow of stubble across it and perfect straight, white teeth. And his hair- amazing. It

was this brownish, coppery color and it was sloppy, but purposefully sloppy, and it stuck out in all

different directions and the sun reflected off it, making it sparkle. No one in hell could pull that shit

off except him. And he was tall, and lean, and built perfectly, not too bulky, like a meathead, or too

skinny.

I gulped down my initial nervousness and pushed forward my well-practiced confidence.

“Hi.” I swirled my tongue around the tip of the ice pop as he started walking toward me.

“Who are you?”

“Bella. I just moved here, with my dad.”

“Your dad is Chief Swan?” I nodded as I pulled the Popsicle out of my mouth seductively. “Wow.

Who would’ve thought?”

I shrugged and lifted the sunglasses to the top of my head to get a better look at him.

“Who the hell are you?”

“I’m Edward.”

Edward. Edward was a god.

“Wuthering Heights? Really?” He pointed to the book that was lodged under my arm.

“What’s wrong with Wuthering Heights?”

“Nothing. Except it’s shit.”

I squinted my eyes and frowned. “Actually, Edward, it’s one of the most highly regarded pieces of

classic literature-”

“Yeah, yeah. It’s shit.” He waved his hand at me indifferently before I saw his eyes unexpectedly

widen.

“Edward Cullen,” I heard Charlie’s voice bellowing from the front door. “You have five seconds to

get away from my daughter!”

Edward chuckled and retreated across the street. “Later, Bella.”

I stomped up to Charlie and put my hands on my hips, fuming.

“Charlie! What the hell was that?”

“That was for your own good.” He slammed the door in my face, leaving me standing there on the

porch. Asshole.

I returned to my seat on the steps, watching Edward. He grabbed a folder from his backseat and

made his way to the front door of my neighbor’s house. Without going inside, he handed it to some

little kid that answered the door and glided back to his car. The son of a bitch had style. He gave me

a wink before hopping back into the driver’s seat and speeding out of view.

My curiosity got the better of me. I found Charlie sitting in front of the TV, sipping a beer.

“What’s wrong with Edward Cullen?”

“He’s your equal counterpart.”

I laughed and sat down on the sofa next to him.

“What‘s wrong with that?”

“What’s wrong with that is that he doesn’t behave himself and gives his parents grief. Just like you.

And two wrongs don’t make a right so, stay away from him.”

I crossed my arms over my chest and blew a raspberry.

“You can’t tell me what to do, Charlie. He’s hot.”

Charlie shut the TV off and snapped his head toward me, angrily.

“First off, you need to work on your respect. Stop with the ‘Charlie’ shit. It’s Dad. Daddy. Father.

Whichever you prefer. Charlie’s not an option.”

“Okay. You can’t tell me what to do, Daddy.”

“We’ll see about that.” I found great pleasure in seeing his cheeks turn red. Charlie was usually

pretty passive, and apparently I’d found a way to get to him. “Oh and, just so that you know, the

entire female population of Forks your age thinks the same thing of Edward as you do. You’re not

special. If you’d like, I can tell you about all the Indecent Exposure counts Edward’s racked up?

Or-”

“I’m good.”

Charlie’s words were enough to turn me off for the moment. Guys who were slutty rubbed me the

wrong way. But, Edward was so beautiful. And he made me have hope that this whole “moving to

Forks escapade” wasn’t going to be the worst thing that was humanly possible. I wasn’t crossing

anything off my list until I figured things out firsthand.

*

The first thing I saw when I pulled into the parking lot was Edward leaning up against his stupid

soccer mom Volvo, some blonde slut flanking him. Okay, so Charlie wasn’t lying. I parked as far

away from him as I could and made my way to class. As I walked down the crowded hallway, I

heard a familiar voice call my name.

“Bella!” I spun around and caught the eye of that Jessica girl I’d seen in Forks General.

“Hey.”

She walked next to me, clearly enjoying the curious stares I was getting from the other students.

“Where are you going?”

“Uhhh… Spanish,” I said, handing her my schedule.

“Me too.”

Probably not a coincidence. I couldn’t imagine there were many classes going on at once when

there were 300 people in the entire school.

We walked into Spanish and took two seats near the back. I pulled out my copy of Wuthering

Heights and started reading to pass the time until class started.

“Still reading that garbage?”

I looked up to see Edward sitting diagonal from me, in front of Jessica, sans the blonde whore.

“Hey, Edward.” Jessica reached her hand up and ran her fingers through the hair on the back of his

neck. I couldn’t help but suddenly hate her.

Edward just ignored her and continued smirking at me.

“How do you guys know each other,” Jessica asked, suddenly suspicious.

“Oh, Bella and I both have a fondness for the Good Humor corporation.” I rolled my eyes, but

didn’t look up from my book.

“I don’t get it,” Jessica muttered under her breath. She didn’t push further when Edward spun

around and grasped one of her curls between his fingers enticingly. Watching this whole exchange, I

kind of started to hate him, too. He had balls to flirt with every woman that crossed his path.

“Ahem!” Some tall, blonde, god-like creature dropped into the seat in front of me, clearing his

throat. “Edward, we talked about this. Keep it clean.”

“Fuck you, Jasper,” Jessica blurted out.

“No thanks.”

I was temporarily frozen at the sight of another ridiculously hot seventeen year old in the vicinity.

Maybe fresh air really did do people good.

When class started, the teacher handed stack of the syllabus to whoever was sitting in the front row.

Jasper turned around and handed me the papers with a grin.

“Hey,” He whispered. Edward noticed the exchange and punched him in the arm.

“Back up, bitch.”

Jasper gave him the finger and turned back around. I spent most of the class staring at the back of

Edward’s head. Jessica tapped him twice, but he ignored her both times. He was busy scribbling

something down on a piece of looseleaf paper, and he seemed pretty into it. I tried my hardest not to

drool when I noticed three little birthmarks on the left side of his neck that peeked out from his

collar whenever he bent his head down. I was pathetic.

When the bell rang I hopped out of my seat, not wanting to walk with that whore Jessica. The whole

Edward thing was making me feel awkward and I needed to make new friends. I stopped at my

locker outside of the class to drop off my newly acquired Spanish book. Edward sauntered up to

me, Jessica following him like a sad little dog.

“Here, this is for you.” He slid me the folded piece of paper he’d been drawing on all period. My

mouth dropped open when I opened it, trying to shield it from Jessica. It was a creepily accurate

picture of me doing something pornographic… with an ice pop.

“Really,” I asked sarcastically.

He chuckled and cocked an eyebrow. I decided to play along with his little game, since I was sure I

could do it better. Inside of my locker there was a magnet stuck to the door that whoever had last

used it neglected to take. I pinned the picture to the door with the magnet and moved so Jessica

could get a good view.

“Oh, my God,” She stuttered, clearly bothered.

“Yeah, bitch,” I said in my head. “You’re not special.”

I laughed, slamming my locker shut. The whole thing seemed hilarious.

“So, um, Edward… do you have plans later?” She grabbed the collar of his shirt and moved close to

his face as she said it.

“Maybe.”

Not wanting to watch anymore of whatever kind of sick shit they were doing, I made my way into

the crowd and hiked to my next class.

My next couple of periods passed without incidence. I figured out in third period English that due to

the fact that I was in Advanced Placement classes in Phoenix, and that Edward was a smart little

bastard, I had class with him all day, with the exception of Math because I sucked at it, Art because

Edward played piano or something and took band, and Gym- thank god. That saved me some

embarrassment. By the time lunch rolled around, Jessica had warmed up to me again, mainly

because she was an attention whore and people kept trying to talk to me, so I guess it made her feel

cool that she was friends with the new girl. And anyway, my dislike for her skankiness faded when I

saw that every girl was gaga over Edward.

We walked into the cafeteria and sat down at the end of a crowded table. On the far end I could see

Edward and his friend Jasper, who sat in front of me in Spanish. Between the two of them was this

ridiculously pretty, tiny little girl with a short, killer haircut. Sitting across from them was friggen

Aphrodite herself, a blonde, tall model looking chick with a designer outfit that I knew for a fact

wasn‘t purchased in Forks. Homegirl looked like she stepped straight out of a magazine. Feeling up

on her was some big, brawny dude with dark hair and these sexy dimples. That side of the table

looked like it was taken right out of a movie scene. I couldn’t stop staring.

Sitting on our side was the blonde slut that I’d seen all over Edward in the parking lot- Lauren, I’d

figured out her name was. There was this asswipe sitting next to me, Mike Newton, who made his

feelings about trying to get with me pretty clear. He’d sat next to me second period and insisted on
walking me to my next class. I found it annoying and desperate. I made a note to try and hook him

up with Jessica. Plus, I was pretty sure Edward and him had some little pissing contest going on,

since Edward gave him a death glare every time he looked at him. There was one girl I actually

liked- Jessica’s best friend, Angela. She was normal and didn’t ask me annoying questions, and

seemed like a genuinely nice person. I didn’t know anyone like that.

The little dark haired girl sitting between Edward and Jasper must’ve noticed how uncomfortable I

looked, because when I got up to buy a Diet Coke and she was standing in line behind me, she said

something.

“First day sucks, huh?” Her voice was high pitched, and it fit her well. She smiled a lot and seemed

a little too energetic. If I knew her better I would’ve recommended caffeine free instead of the Diet

in her hand.

“Yeah. It’s a little bizarre, actually.”

“Why’s that?”

I figured that telling her that her and her friends looked like they belonged in LA instead of hillbilly

Forks was a little brash, so I censored my words a little.

“Uh… well, let’s see. First period the girl sitting next to me groped and had eye sex the entire class

with your friend Edward over there. Who then proceeded to draw me a smutty picture and give it to

me in front of her. Oh, and I’ve had three classes with him so far, where women threw themselves at

him the entire time like nothing I’ve ever seen. Weird. Um, and also I keep getting hit on by that

tool Mike Newton who can’t seem to get the hint when people aren’t interested. Yeah, that sums it

up.”

The girl giggled and nodded. “Sounds like a typical day at Forks High. I’m Alice, by the way.

Edward’s the resident pimp if you hadn’t noticed. Just ignore him. Oh, and Newton… just ignore

him, too.”

She moved closer to me and stood on her tip toes, lowering her voice so no one around could hear.

“I wouldn’t get too chummy with Jessica and Lauren either, if I was you. You’re welcome to sit

with me, if you want.”

I took her up on her offer. Her crowd seemed more entertaining then the one I’d been sitting with

before. Not to mention, better man candy to ogle at.

She patted the chair next to her, on the far end of the table.

“This is Bella. Bella that’s Rose, Emmett, Jasper,” She pointed at the supermodel, who gave a weak

wave and the buff dude, who grinned from ear to ear and held his hand up. “And you know

Edward.”

Edward didn’t acknowledge me. He was too busy ripping off pieces of his straw wrapper and

throwing them into Lauren’s hair. Mature.

Jessica gave me a, “WTF are you doing?” look, but I just shrugged and brushed her off. I liked Alice

more than her.

Alice gave me the complete rundown of their group of friends on the walk to my next class.

Rosalie, Alice, Jasper, Emmett & Edward had been friends for as long as anyone could remember.

They were forced together by their similar qualities; smart, good looks, money, I-don’t-give-a-fuck

attitudes, for example. And of course, the fact that they didn’t fit in this Podunk town. Alice was

immediately welcoming, and I figured I’d fit in well with their group, since I’d encompassed all the

characteristics except the money, of course. But along with my cop Dad came power, and the value

of that shit was immense when you were a teenager. Anyway, Alice implied that Edward had his fair

share of Rose and Alice when they were younger, but she claimed he only strived for women

outside of their circle and that neither of them had any interest in Edward, Jasper, or Emmett. To

keep things less complicated, or something. It almost made me not want to be friends with them,

because I would’ve boned all three guys willingly. Shallow, party of one.

When I walked into my last class of the day, Biology, there were only two spots open. One next to

Edward, who surprisingly had no bimbo latched onto his arm, and one next to that retard Newton.

“Hey, Bella! You can sit here.” The Newton kid patted the seat next to him eagerly and I cringed.

Edward spun around to him and shoved the desk, making it smash against his stomach.

“Fuck off, Newton.” I stifled a laugh and took the seat next to Edward, shrugging at Mike. Edward

raised one of his glorious eyebrows at me and said nothing.

Class was boring per usual on the first day of school. We did nothing but go over the syllabus and

get our textbooks. Edward swiped a piece of paper from my notebook and scribbled down the

lecture on it. The bastard had perfect penmanship. When the bell rang, I sighed, thankful to be able

to go home and walked out of class without looking back. Edward followed me out to the parking

lot, asking me stupid little comments about my day and avoiding clusters of girls that called his

name. I made my way to my truck, which I’d purposely parked as far away from the silver Volvo as

I could when I saw it in the morning.

“This colossal piece of shit is yours?” He looked at it, confused.

“It has character. And Volvo? I mean, what are you like, 40 or something?”

“No you didn’t,” He said, pretty offended. “I’ll come pick you up one day and show you why that

thing is amazing.”

“Yeah, be sure to wipe the seats down first. Charlie let me know all about your little backseat

rendezvous.” I made air quotes around ‘rendezvous’ and giggled at my own joke. He squinted his
eyes at me before starting the walk to his car. I saw Jasper approaching him, observing our banter

inquisitively.

“You're funny. I’ll see you soon.”

I jumped into the cab and had already started the loud, rumbling engine before I thought about what

he said. See you soon? What the hell did that mean?

I figured it out that night.

2.Window

EPOV

“Dude, this is stupid. The Chief’s gonna break out the shotgun.” Jasper tried talking me out of my

little strategy as he pulled up in front of La Casa de Swan, clicking off his headlights.

“Fuck the po-lice!” Jasper winced as I shouted. “And we’ll see how stupid it is when I’m bending

her over later and giving her the Cullen Special.”

I flung my half-empty ‘water’ bottle of Goose at Jasper’s face and opened the door.

“Have fun with that.”

Stealthily, I tried to make my way to the side of her house, but I was already bombed so I tripped a

couple times on the way there. When I reached the big tree, I leaned my head back and saw a light

shining from the yellow bedroom. No straight dude would have a yellow bedroom, and even though

I wasn’t completely sure about the Chief- that fucker didn’t have a woman, ever- I assumed it was

Bella’s room.

Only then did I start to think maybe that douche Jasper had a point. That tree looked like a long,

hard fall. But on a high note, I was drunk so falling wouldn’t hurt that bad. I went for it.

By the time I got to the branch level with Bella’s window, I was one Twinkie away from a heart

attack and I’d ripped most of the bark off the trunk, along with a hole in my jeans. Luckily, her

window was only open a crack so she didn’t hear the whole debacle. I reminded myself to hit the

gym before baseball season.

Once I peered into the window, I had to grab onto the ledge not to fall on my ass. She was standing

in a little towel, leaning over and writing something down on her desk. Her hair was wet and

dripping down her back, and I had to try and remember how much I drank to make sure I wasn’t

hallucinating.

“Hey!” I whispered into the window as I tapped my finger on the glass. She spun around quickly,

her eyes bugging, and she gasped. I stuck my hand into the crack and pulled the window up before

swinging my feet inside and jumping to the floor. I lost my balance a little and had to lean on her

bed for support.

“You showered for me? Nice.”

“CHARRRR-” I ran up to her and clasped my hand over her mouth before she could finish yelling.

“What are you, crazy, woman?” She squinted at me and pulled my hand away.

“What the fuck are you doing?”

“I was bored,” I said with a shrug. Bella scrunched her nose and moved it closer to my mouth.

“Are you drunk?”

“Maybe.”

“We have school tomorrow. And it’s,” She looked at the clock on her nightstand. “6:45.”

“Yeah. Happy hour.” I took a step back and looked her up and down. “I like this look.”

“Get out, Edward.”

“Hell no. I just almost got suicide by perennial written on my autopsy. I’m staying.”

Bella stared at me expressionless as I sprawled out on her bed. She grabbed some crap out of a

drawer and walked over to the door.

“Stay. Fucking. Quiet.”

I gave her a salute as she left the room. My eyes wandered around the bare space. There was

nothing on the wall. A box full of pictures and books and some other shit was in the corner. After

rummaging through her underwear drawer and taking a souvenir, I flipped through the CD

collection on her desk. I was impressed.

She strolled back in and shut the door quietly behind her.

“Stop touching my stuff, Cullen.” I grabbed the sheet of paper she’d been writing on off her desk

and read it out loud.

“Bella’s Birthday List- 1: iPod. 2: Laptop. 3: Plane ticket back to Phoenix. 4: Massaging

showerhead- Ohhh, I like that one. 5: New-”

She snatched the paper from my hand with a smirk. “Give me that. This sucker’s going on the

fridge for Charlie.”

“So… it’s 2008 and you don’t have a laptop or an iPod? That’s… different.”

“Thanks.”

“Not a compliment.” I sat back down on her bed and kicked my Chucks off, making them fly across

the room.

“Keep your shoes on, you’re not staying.”

I ignored her.

“So, what in hell’s name made you decide to come and live here your senior year of high school?”

“I didn’t decide to.” She grimaced as she combed a knot out of her hair. “I got sent here.”

“How come?”

“What are you, writing a book?”

“Fuck no. But if I did it would be better than this trash.” I drunkenly tossed the copy of Wuthering

Heights that was sitting on her bed onto the floor, making it land with a loud thump.

“You drunk fucking idiot. I hope he comes up here.”

“So, anyway, you got sent here…”

Bella sat next to me on the bed and smirked. “I wasn’t listening to my mommy.”

She flipped open her Spanish book and started reading.

“What’d you do?”

Bella glared up at me, batting her thick eyelashes and sighed.

“I got caught in the car… you know. With a guy who was way older than me. My mom flipped.”

I busted out laughing, grabbing a pillow and burying my face in it so her padre didn’t hear me. This

girl was scandalous. She shoved the pillow harder into my face, making my head bang against the

wall.

“Oww. Okay, sorry. Can I comment?”

“No.”

“First off, are you stupid? Why wouldn’t you just fuck a guy your own age?”

“Uhh, would you have sex with a way older woman if you could?”

I contemplated it.

“Good point. Second, that’s not even a big deal. Your dad’s arrested me like four times for that.”

She rolled her eyes and twirled a piece of wet hair around her finger.

“It was the straw that broke the whore’s back. Renee was not happy. So… Forks is my punishment.”

“Can you stop reading? I came here for some excitement.”

Without saying anything, she slid the remote across the quilt. I looked around the room for the TV.

Sitting on top of her dresser was some tiny thing with a screen the same size as my iPhone.

“I need a magnifying glass to see that thing.”

I inched closer to her and put my hand over hers. If looks could kill, I would’ve croaked right there.

“Edward, I’m not gonna fuck you. Just leave before Charlie comes up here.”

“You want me to leave?”

“Yes. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

I gave up. All her teasing made me need a cold shower, anyway. After collecting my shoes across

the room, I slipped them on and stuck my head out the window to figure out my dismount.

“Just jump. It’s not that far.”

Bitch was buggin’.

I shimmied out onto the branch and sat on it, looking down. Fuck. Then I closed my eyes and

hopped off, and yep, I figured out where the saying ass is grass came from.

“Oww.”

I tried to hop up quickly and make a graceful exit, but we were way beyond that. I was limping.

Bella was giggling her ass off as she watched me from the window.

“Don’t think I won’t be trying this again,” I shouted up to her, before I heard the window slam and

the click of the lock.

*

I was on the opposite side of campus I should've been when the bell for last hour went off.

"Alright, get off me, you took too long." In one smooth motion I'd pushed that skeezo Lauren's head

back and zippered my pants. "Later."

I left her there, on her knees in the second floor girls' bathroom. Where she belonged. Anywhatever,

there was more important sexual business that needed tending to. By the time I got to Biology, the

teacher had already started. That fucker Newton must've assumed I wasn't going to class and had

taken my designated seat next to Bella. Mr. Banner sighed as I walked in, interrupting his lecture.

"You're late, Edward."

"I know." I slammed my books down on the desk. "Move your ass, Newton."

"Fuck you, Cullen. Sit somewhere else." I clenched my fist, ready to deck him in the face. Again.

"Edward, you're late and you're disrupting class. Sit down somewhere and shut up."

Banner was pissed. I picked up Newton's books and tossed them on the empty table behind him. He

gave up, and I dropped into my seat, moving the chair closer to Bella. She was writing in her

notebook and hadn't even looked up since I'd walked into the room. I leaned back and draped my

arm over the back of her chair, stretching my legs out in front of me.

"Is that... Lipstick on your shirt?" I heard Bella suddenly whisper. My eyes darted down and sure

enough, on the hem of my shirt there was a pink splotch. That bitch.

"No." I covered it up with my hand.

"Classy."

I pretended that I didn't hear her. She shook her head and continued with her note taking.

"What are you doing tonight?"

Bella shrugged.

"Come over. My parents are away and I'm having a little gathering."

Banner looked at me and cleared his throat. "Edward? Can you answer or am I interrupting your

conversation?"

"The Krebs Cycle." The old bastard squinted at me and went back to his lecture. He should've

known better than to try and make me look stupid. I was smarter than him.

"So, is that a yes?" I asked Bella.

"No thanks."

Was she serious? She couldn't be. I stifled a laugh.

"No thanks? Sorry, do you have something better to do?"

"Yeah. Stay at home and not catch Chlamydia." Ouch. Low Blow.

"If you're referring to me, then I'm offended. I'm clean, thanks. My dad's a doctor, you know?"

She stared at me blankly for a minute before turning back to her notebook. I kept trying to talk to

her, but she paid no attention to me. At all. It was fucked up. When class was over, she stood up and

walked out without acknowledging me again. I followed behind her as Newton fucking flanked her,

trying to stake his claim. He was gonna get a beat down soon. I could feel it coming.

I stopped at my locker to drop my shit off and met Jasper.

"So, did you get a quickie from the Chief’s daughter or what?"

I slid my Ray Bans on and turned to him, sneering. "No," We started toward the parking lot. "I'm

pretty sure she insulted my manhood, too."

As we approached the lobby, I spotted Bella standing there alone. Sans that prick Newton. Jasper &

I stopped in front of her.

"You waiting for me?" I quipped. Bella gave me her infamous ‘cocktease’ smile.

"You know what they say about people who wear sunglasses indoors, right?" She asked, pointing at

me.

"What?" Jasper asked.

"Uh, you're either blind or a douchebag." Jasper found it hysterical, and him and Bella laughed it up

as I stood there, not amused. He was looking for a ball tap. "Oh here, this is for you." She handed

me a few pieces of paper.

"What is it?"

"My Bio notes. I photocopied them for you since we have a lab Monday and we have to be partners,

and I know for a fact you paid zero attention."

"I paid attention."

"You didn't take one note and you stared at my tits the whole class." Jasper patted me on the back

and continued laughing.

"What the fuck does this say? I can’t read chicken scratch.” She flicked me in the forehead. “Back

up. And I could do that lab in my sleep."

"Yeah, okay. Mike paid attention, I can just switch partners-"

"No." I wasn't losing quality time to that fucker. I folded the notes in half and slid them into my

folder.

Suddenly, Bella spotted something outside and she started toward the door. We followed her out,

where she was walking toward the cruiser. Jasper & I booked it toward my car. I heard Bella

laughing behind me.

"Cullen, Whitlock! I'm watching you." Charlie yelled out of the window as we hopped into my car.

"For some reason, I get the vibe he doesn't want you tainting his daughter," Jasper's sarcastic ass

commented once the door was shut.

"Pshh. I'm not scared of him." I tapped my hands on the steering wheel along to the music.

"I'd be. He has a gun." I waited until the cruiser was out of sight before pulling out of the parking

lot.

*

“What the fuck is this place?”

Rosalie squinted her eyes as she looked at Bella’s house with scorn. She was such a stuck up whore.

“It’s the new girl’s house. My latest conquest.”

“Slumming it, I see.”

I jokingly held my fist up about a centimeter from her face. One day it wasn’t going to be a joke.

“I guess it is a step up from Jessica. Or Lauren. Or-”

“Okay. That’s enough out of you.” I grabbed her head roughly and kissed her before she was able to

slap me away. “Thanks for the ride, bizzle.”

She barely let me close the door before she peeled out of there.

It turns out trying to climb up the tree drunk and after it rained was way harder then just climbing it

drunk. Who would’ve thought?

I knocked on Bella’s window looking like a hot fucking mess. There was soggy bark and shit on my

clothes and I was sweating like a pedo in a playground. She flung the window open, rolling her

eyes, and didn’t move her ass out of the way so I could come in.

“Do I need to get a restraining order? Because all I have to do is walk downstairs-”

“Come on! Move!”

She flared her nostrils and stepped to the side, letting me in.

“Just so you know, climbing that tree isn’t cake.”

“Then stop doing it.”

I managed to connive Rosalie into driving me over, after avoiding Jessica’s slutty antics all night. I

didn’t want to stink Bella’s room up with her crappy perfume. By the time I made my way over, it

was already almost midnight. It was a risky maneuver and bitch wasn‘t appreciating it.

“Do you have a fan or something? It’s hotter than Satan’s balls in here.”

I fanned my face as she sneered at me, disgusted.

“You’re drunk and you just climbed a tree. Stand by the window. Or better yet, just go back

outside.”

“How do you know I’m drunk?” She wiped her finger across my forehead and held it up to my

nose.

“You’re sweating pure liquor. Not tacky at all.” She cringed and wiped her hand on my pants.
I noticed her door was wide open, so I motioned for her to close it. The Chief’s car was in the

driveway and I wasn’t really in the mood to die or have a fractured skull.

“I was bluffing. No one’s here. He’s fishing the whole weekend.”

“God, I love fish.” I thought about what she said for a second and got pissed. “Wait. Does that mean

I just climbed up that tree and got mushy fucking moss and bugs and gross shit on myself when I

could’ve came through the front door?”

She shrugged.

“These jeans were $300.”

Still, she just stared at me.

“If I had your number, I could’ve called you and it would’ve saved me the trouble.”

“You weren’t invited here. That’s the price you pay for intruding,” She said as she crossed her arms

and pursed her lips at me.

“Stop being such a frigid bitch. Let’s go downstairs, I’m hungry.”

Bella heated me up some spaghetti she’d cooked earlier- which, by the way, was banging. She sat

across from me at the table, her head leaning against her arm, bored.

“So, why are you here? I thought you were having a little ‘gathering’ or orgy or whatever.”

“I was bored,” I responded, my mouth full of food. “You’re a good cook.”

“What do you mean, you were bored? No sluts there to satisfy you? Or wait, did you have your fill

before Biology with lipstick girl?”

“Ugh.” I swallowed my mouthful of food and washed it down with one of Charlie’s beers. Hah.

“Actually, I cut that off. To come and see you.”

I gave her the wink as I forked more food into my mouth. She rolled her eyes, completely put off.

“And there were plenty of girls there, for your information. One of them even dropped me off.”

“Who?”

“Rosalie.”

“Wait until I see her on Monday.” Bella grabbed my plate as I finished the last bite and tossed it in

the sink, haphazardly. She waltzed over to the living room and sat on the couch, throwing her feet

up on the coffee table.

“If you were bored at your party, you made a mistake coming here.” She aimed the remote at the

TV, flipping throw the channels carelessly.

“I know what we could do to not be bored.” She threw the remote on the coffee table and spun

toward me.

“Dude. I told you I wasn’t going to fuck you. And still, you show up here trying. So you must be

some kind of a masochist, or sadist, or maybe you’re just fucking deaf of something? I don’t know.

But if you’re gonna sit here, just… talk about something else.”

Whoa. What a rant. It turned me on, but I didn’t tell her that. I was afraid.

“So… what do you like to do?”

Shit, I was such a tool. How was that the only non-sexual question I could come up with?

“Uh, well… I used to enjoy being with my friends, partying, hooking up with guys in back of cars,

sleeping, and pissing off my mom. Since Charlie’s banned most of these activities, I’ve now started

rereading every book I own, watching Family Guy, and… finding new ways to cook fish. Oh, and

laundry.”

I didn’t know if she was serious or joking. I felt like she was serious and laughing would be rude, so

I just shrugged.

“Family Guy… pretty funny show.”

She laughed and shoved me in the chest.

“Cullen, you’re an ass. Honestly, though, I don’t really do anything here. You live in this town, too.

I’m assuming that’s why you’ve resorted to fornicating with as many people as possible. Boredom.

Right?”

“Fornicating. Nice use of vocab… and no, not just boredom. Aren’t we not supposed to be talking

about this?”

I downed the rest of my beer and dropped it on her coffee table.

“Right. What do you do?”

“Hmmm. Good question.” I tapped my finger against my temple. “I… play the piano. Well, I play, I

write music, ya know, the whole shebang. Uh… I also like reading- see, we have something in

common. I’m the captain of the baseball team. Should I keep going?”

“Yeah.”

“Uh, well I also like music, a lot. Big music fan. Uhh… I like cars? I guess. I’m an alcohol

aficionado-”

“That’s enough.”

I glanced down at the coffee table and spotted Bella’s birthday list lying on it.

“Did your dad see this?”

“Yeah. He didn’t think it was funny.”

“What, the showerhead or all of it?”

She giggled and started twisting her hair around her finger, which she did a lot.

“Whatever. It’s necessary.” She licked her lips and leaned closer to me. “Edward?”

“What?”

“Why are you really here?”

I shrugged. “I don’t know? I like you. You’re funny. And uh… it’s been a week. I’ve never had to

try longer than a couple of hours to get a girl. It’s kind of fun.”

She laughed and shook her head, completely revolted by me. Per usual. “You’re a douche, but I like

you too.”

That was the night when my friendship with Bella Swan started.

3.Birthday

BPOV

"Just pick one, Bella."

I stopped staring at the shelves of comforter sets to sneer at Jessica.

"This one's cute," Angela suggested, yanking at a gray one with some white swirly design on it.

"That's cool." I grabbed the handle and lugged it to the check out counter before Jessica could

complain again.

The only reason she was even there was because the closest Bed, Bath, and Beyond was over an

hour from Forks and I was afraid Big Red wouldn't have made it there. And that I would've gotten

eaten by a coyote or something before a tow truck could get to me. Who knows what kind of shit

was lurking around the woods? She did bring Angela, though, who wasn't being an annoying biotch.

I made a mental note to ask her to drive instead next time I took a similar venture out of Forks.

Charlie had neglected to fulfill my birthday list, instead opting to give me a wad of cash in a card

the day before so that I could redecorate my room. I snaked Jessica and Angela into helping me

paint the vomit inducing yellow walls, which was where we were heading. Ever since I'd become
chummy with Jessica's número uno booty call, Edward, she'd made it a point to be extra snarky. I

was guessing she was pulling one of those "keep your friends close and your enemies closer" kind

of deals. I didn't care. I was getting a birthday bash, thrown by her, out of it.

That second night that Edward had snuck into my house, we came to an unspoken agreement. We

liked each other. But, I was pretty sure I liked him a little too much just to bone him and toss him to

the side, and I was pretty sure he didn’t like me enough to give up his skanky activities, so I was in

a pickle. The solution I came up with for the moment was to let the sexpot hang around and keep

hitting on me, and just brush it off. For now.

Painting sucked the big one. The three of us had thrown up our hair and put on some of Charlie's

ratty old t-shirts, so we looked pretty trailer trash-esque. It made it that much funnier when Edward

hopped his ass through the window and fake gagged at Jessica, who was staring in shock.

"What the fug is going on in here?" Edward asked, kicking at the plastic tarp covering my floor. I

still hadn't gotten used to this adonis hopping through my window randomly. I had to turn back to

the wall to stop from staring at his ridiculously perfect friggen face.

"I'm working on my Feng Shui," I said, splashing some paint in his direction.

"Not cool." He cleaned a drop from his cheekbone and wiped it on the tarp.

"Dare I ask what I did to deserve this little drop in, Cullen?"

"Oh, yeah." Angela and Jessica looked on in curiosity as Edward dropped the backpack on the floor

that had been strapped to him. He ruffled through it, chuckling. "First, let me ask- what did your

dad get you for your birthday?"

"You don't have permission to tape me utilizing the showerhead, if that's what you're asking."

Angela chuckled as Jessica let out a disgusted, "Ugh."

"Keep up the sarcasm. I'll take my gifts elsewhere."

"You bought me gifts?"

Say what? Edward was certainly trying hard to get in my jeans.

"Hell yeah. Well, not buy, really. Here-" He yanked a remotely new looking MacBook out of the

backpack and plopped it on my bed.

"What the hell?" I stared at it, confused. "I can't take that, Edward. Are you insane?"

"What? It's my old one! Carlisle buys me a new one every school year.” He pulled the power cord

from the back and dropped it to the floor. “It was just sitting in my room. I cleaned all the porn and

naked pictures off it for you and everything. No worries, Jess. Sweet outfit, by the way."

I ignored their repartee and dropped the roller, sitting on my bed next to the laptop. That smug little

bastard knew exactly what kind of effect his generosity was gonna have on me.

"Wait, I'm not done," He said excitedly, reaching into the bag again. "Heads up!"

He flung an iPod at me, chuckling.

"I don't need that anymore, either. Thank Apple for the ever convenient iPhone."

"Stop. I can't take this stuff."

"Take it, Bella," Angela suggested.

"Seriously, he's rich. Money has no value to him. He'll probably just throw them out if you don't

take them."

Jessica was bit-ter.

"I wouldn't normally suggest this, but you should listen to your friends."

I stared at the completely ridiculous hand me downs in my lap, and said the only thing that could

come to mind.

"Thanks, Edward. I owe you."

Of course, he had to ruin our moment.

"No problem. I accept payment in the form of oral favors." I rolled my eyes at him as he shrugged

back into his backpack.

"Feel free to stay and help paint."

He laughed at me. "Yeah, I'm good. Edward Cullen doesn't do manual labor."

"Do you have something better to do? I mean, besides go home and be a prissy bitch."

"Actually, smart ass, I'm gonna go home and write up our Bio lab. I figured I'd take the work load

since tomorrow's your day and all."

"Wow, thoughtful. Considering I've done all the work and given you all my notes since you're

always 'too hungover to write'."

He murmured an, "Ungrateful," before jumping out of the window.

Jessica walked over and stood in my field of vision, her hands on her hips.

"What. The. Fuck?"

I shrugged. "What?"

"How often does he come here?"

"What are you, his mom?" Angela appropriately butted into the conversation. Jessica ignored her.

"And bearing gifts? I've been giving him 'oral favors' for years and he's never even bought me a

pack of gum!"

There were so many things wrong with Jessica's statement, I didn't know where to start.

"Uhh... That may be the problem." Jessica gave me the finger and went back to painting the wall.

"Stop getting so pissy. I'm not doing your little boyfriend. No need to get all territorial."

"Whatever."

I didn’t feel bad for her.

When we finished painting and Jessica and Angela left, I ran downstairs, because I did feel guilty

about not being nicer to Edward. I grabbed my keys and almost made it out the door before I heard

Charlie behind me.

"Where are you going?"

I sighed and spun around. "Out."

"It's a school night and it's already past nine."

Oh, shit. Call the authorities.

"It's my birthday tomorrow."

"No, Bella."

"Yes. I'll be really quick. I just have to pick something up."

"What?"

"Chill with the inquisition, Char- Dad. I'm going to the Cullens to get my Bio lab. Edward and I are

partners."

Charlie huffed. "You're not going there. Absolutely not."

He tried snatching my keys out of my hand, but the old man's slow reflexes were no match for

mine.

"Hey! Let's be logical. It's just schoolwork. I'm not going over there to bone. Anyway, his parents

are home and I thought you said you liked them?"

I was totally making shit up, but Charlie was none the wiser.

"You have until ten to get back here. One minute later, and you're not going to your little party

tomorrow."

"Wow, you’re a buzz kill. See ya in a few."

With that, I hopped out the door and over to my hooptie. I'd never been to Edward's and I had no

clue where he lived, but I had Googled that shit with my new-to-me laptop. The power of stalking.

Of course, the motherfucker's house was some perfect, white, enormous castle looking thing, just

like I had figured. I parked my truck behind the Volvo and skipped to the front porch, ready to

introduce myself to my future in-laws. Joking. I wasn't about the whole climbing trees and scaling

the side of houses thing, so I rang the doorbell and waited. It wasn't a normal, 'ding-dong' kind of

doorbell, it was one of those 'dong....dong' ones that echoed through the whole house.

Suddenly, a tall, blonde DILF answered the door. Hello, Doctor. At that point, I was far from

shocked that his Dad was so hot.

"Hi! I'm Bella... Um, is Edward available?"

I had the polite, good girl act down pat.

"Ohh, Bella. You're Charlie's daughter, right?" I nodded, suddenly understanding where Edward got

the phone sex operator voice from. "What did Edward do?"

"Oh, nothing! I just wanted to talk to him for a minute... If that's okay?"

"Um, sure. Come in."

I stood in the elaborate foyer as Carlisle shouted Edward's name up a huge, winding staircase.

Charlie’s house was like a dungeon compared to this shit. Plus, I was pretty sure the whole thing

could fit in the Cullen’s foyer. Carlisle immediately walked into another room, leaving me there to

ogle at my surroundings. Suddenly Edward appeared at the top of the stairs, gaping at me.

"What in the cunt are you doing here?" His voice echoed across the house.

"Edward!" Carlisle reprimanded from the other room before Edward flipped him off.

He glided down the stairs in all his sweatpants-clad, sex-haired glory. I waited until he was standing

in front of me before I answered.

"I didn't give you a proper thanks before for the gifts. So... Thanks."

I don't know what the frig was going through my mind, but I stuck my arms out and wrapped them
around him, crushing my body against his chest. And damn it, that bastard smelled good. Like Axe

and trees and laundry detergent and... Sex. Ugh. I pulled away before I started doing ungodly things

to him in his foyer. It was the most physical contact I'd had with him yet and I bugged.

"Yeah, you're welcome."

He ruffled my hair and took a step back. Holy awkwardness.

"So, was that it?"

Crickets chirping.

"Um... Yeah."

"You drove all the way here to hug me?"

"I didn't want to be ungrateful."

"Uhhh... Okay. Can I interest you in a nightcap?"

He would offer me a drink when he knew I drove there.

"I'm good. See you tomorrow, I guess?"

"Yeah. We’ll pick you up in the morning."

"Huh?"

"Here in Forks we have a little birthday tradition. Be ready at 7:15 or life for you will be

unpleasant.”

"Gotcha. See you in the AM."

"Oh- and if I was you I'd have a big dinner. Maybe some bread or something."

I nodded and gave a quick wave before leaving.

*

Charlie’s stupid ass woke up late, and I knew if he saw Edward coming to pick me up something

bad would happen. I foresaw yelling or bruises or Charlie cocking his gun. Luckily, the slow lazy

bastard finally made it out of the house at 7:09, so he just missed him. No joke.

For some reason it was still super hot outside, but of course it was raining, so since it was my

birthday and that gave me the right to do whatever I wanted, I sassed it up with a simple black dress

and some Burberry boots Alice had given me when I told her I didn’t own rain boots. They were a

little small, but they were fly. Alice was bomb. I heard honking in the driveway at precisely 7:16, so

I headed out. Instead of the Volvo, which I expected, there was a white Audi sitting there. I hopped

in the backseat and crossed my arms.

“So, what’s this birthday tradition?”

“Here. Happy Birthday.”

Edward tossed a flask over his shoulder without looking back. I opened it and took a whiff before I

drank it.

“Uhhh. Rum?”

“Not a fan?” Edward asked.

“No.”

“Well, lucky for you that’s not just any rum, it’s like over $100 a bottle, you cow. Just drink it. I

already started the party without you, so it’s only half full.”

Drunk morning Edward was kind of grumpy.

“Here, Bella. Happy Birthday.” Jasper handed me a bottle and my mouth dropped.

“Cristal! What the hell? Thanks Jasper!”

“It’s for your party later. And thank my mom.”

“Uhhh-”

“I’m joking. She won’t even know it’s gone.” Jasper pulled out of my driveway and slammed on the

gas, making my body fly back into the seat.

“Holy Christmas.” I tossed back some of the rum and almost gagged. “This is the best birthday

ever. I love having rich friends.”

“Stop talking and finish that,” Grumpward ordered me from the passenger seat.

As we pulled up to school, I chugged whatever was left in the flask. I knew right then it was a bad

idea. I dizzily watched as Edward refilled it and handed it back to me.

“Are you out of your fucking mind?”

“Pffft! Do I look like I’m joking?” He didn’t look like much of anything except for two blurry

Edwards.

I dropped the flask in my purse and stumbled out of the car. All of a sudden I saw a huge cloud of

pink and silver coming toward me.

“Bella! Happy Birthday!” Alice hugged me and shoved her arm out, handing me the balloons.

“Thanks, Alice. You’re cute.”

Edward frowned at me and yanked the balloons from my hand. “Alice, what the hell is she gonna

do with these?”

He kind of mumbled it to himself as he struggled to put the balloons in Jasper’s car. Every time he

tried to close the door one kept flying out. I was in hysterics. Finally he just gave up, and left one

sparkly balloon hovering above the car.

Edward and Jasper walked ahead of us, so Alice assisted me in walking to class. It wasn’t fun for

her. It just so happens, rain boots have a really good grip, meaning I tripped about every seven

steps. She dropped me off at Spanish and I took my typical seat next to JJ- that was my new

nickname for her. Jealous Jessica. My drunk mind was so clever.

“Happy Birthday!” She plopped a huge pink cupcake down on my desk. I picked it up and took a

couple licks, before realizing Rum + Cupcakes + 8AM didn’t mix. I groaned and Edward grabbed

the cupcake from my hand, digging into it.

After class, I gave Edward some well deserved credit. Drinking before class definitely made it

quicker. And like, ten times more entertaining. For some reason Senora Goff’s shitty Spanish accent

was suddenly the funniest thing in the world. I actually had to walk out of class when she said

"biblioteca" because I thought it sounded like discotheque and for some reason... that was funny to

me.

Edward yanked my arm when I turned to go to my second period class- my initial buzz had worn

off and I was slightly more competent- and him and Jasper led me to a small, deserted hallway I’d

never used before.

“Where the fuck am I?”

“Shut your gob.” Edward smirked and held a door open, letting me inside first. It was a bathroom.

“Are you two gonna try to sandwich me or something?”

“No. And gross. We’re finishing that flask since you’re being a puss about it.” Jasper dug his hand

into my purse and yanked out the flask. “Oh, and we’re getting you out of class with Newton. Your

welcome.”

“This is the best day of my life.” I hopped up onto the window sill and watched the two of them

chug the flask and get drunker by the minute. Edward held his own surprisingly well, considering

how much he drank. I suggested the twelve steps.

By fifth period, which was mine & Edward’s AP English class, I was ready to keel over. We’d

refilled the flask three times already and we were reading Macbeth, the most boring fucking thing in

the world when you’re drunk. Edward kicked my chair every time I started nodding off. I didn’t

realize I’d fallen asleep, but suddenly the bell rang and I was being lifted out of my seat.

“Come on, Bella!” I heard a deep voice in my ear. “Look alive!”

I couldn’t even get up. I was bombed. Emmett threw me on his back and carried me out to the

parking lot somehow. I remembered getting into the backseat of his jeep and hearing Edward’s

voice, but that was it.

*

EPOV

I’m pretty sure it was Alice’s annoying ass voice that woke Bella from her drunken stupor.

“Good job, Edward,” she bitched. “She’s already out and her party doesn’t even start for five

hours.”

If her voice was any squeakier, my mirror would’ve shattered.

“I’m good.” Bella sat up, rubbing her eyes and trying to figure out her surroundings. I was sitting at
my desk blasting Zeppelin from my laptop. She flung her feet over the side of my bed and frowned.

“Where are my shoes?”

I picked her boots up and flung those suckers onto the bed. Bella slipped them back on as Alice

dropped two overnight bags onto my sofa.

“Where the mother effer am I?” Her voice sounded raspy, like one of those old bitches who smoked

for 40 years. Except it was kind of sexy.

“My bat cave.” She turned toward me and I couldn’t help but crack up at the knotted mess on her

head. “All I have are two words- Nice. Coif.”

She patted the top of the rats nest and shrugged me off. “What time is it? And what the hell

happened?” She looked around, clearly inspecting my room. Shit was impeccable. Good thing

Rosita had been over the day before. That woman did her job well.

“What happened is you’re supposed to be some hardcore bad girl and you didn’t even make it past

11:30. Amateur.”

I laughed at her again. When I saw her weak ass nodding off during English, I thought ahead and

texted Emmett to carry her the fuck outta there. I was too fucked up to take part in heavy lifting.

Plus, if Bella got suspended for being drunk in school, the Chief would have come looking for me

first.

“Wow. I’m embarrassed.”

“You should be. Half of Forks High saw your underwear when Emmett piggybacked you to the

parking lot.”

“Good thing I didn’t go commando like originally planned.”

Bella sans underwear. Yummy.

“Don’t listen to him, Bella. Jasper had to run out of History to puke. That’s way worse.” Alice was

right. Jasper beat out Bella for the “Pussy of the Day” award.

“Hmm. Comforting.” Bella suddenly noticed Alice’s extravagant outfit. “What the hell are you

wearing?”

Alice shrugged. “I like to dress up.”

Any excuse to waste Daddy’s money, I guessed.

I shut my laptop off and started walking toward the hallway, motioning for the hookers to follow

me.

“Alright. Now that you’re out of your coma, let the drinking commence. I’m fuckin bored.”

Bella wasn’t joking about me and AA. It seemed necessary on days like this, when I could drink for

12 hours straight and still be functioning. I led her to Carlisle’s liquor cabinet, where she stood and

stared in amazement. Finally, she settled for the Grey Goose. Solid choice. We walked into Esme’s

ostentatious gourmet kitchen, and Bella hopped onto the counter as I started mixing drinks. My plan

was to get girlfriend drunk enough so that she wanted to bang out. Willingly.

“I need to eat before I keep drinking.” I squinted my eyes at her and slid a glass across the counter

to Alice. She needed to catch up.

“I don’t cook,” I said as I opened the pantry. “Uhhh…”

Bella rolled her eyes and pranced over to the pantry, grabbing a box of cereal. That wasn’t gonna do

shit as far as absorption was concerned. Plus, rum and milk and Goose was far from a good

combination. I didn’t say anything.

“So,” she said, taking a bite. “What is this party tonight gonna consist of?”

“Jessica being annoying,” Alice offered.

“True that. Which is why pregaming is necessary.” I dropped Swan’s drink in front of her.

Bella’s party was only an excuse for Jessica to get people to pay attention to her. Her sluttiness had

dropped in value since the hot new girl came to town. Plus, it was a way for her to try and seduce

me. She knew she annoyed the fuck out of me unless I wasn’t sober.

“Give me a minute,” Bella said, shoveling the cereal into her mouth as fast as she could.

“Attractive.”

She gave me the finger and jumped off the counter, dropping her bowl in the sink, her glass still in

hand. We walked into the living room where those douchebags Emmett and Jasper were wrestling

on the couch.

“You cheated, fucker,” Jasper choked out as Emmett held him in a headlock.

“How was that cheating? That was a legit fucking kill. You just suck.”

Those two retards did that shit every time they played Xbox. And Jasper never won because, let’s be

real- Emmett had steroids on his side.

“Where’s Rosalie?” Bella paid no attention to them.

“Cheerleading practice,” I said after a gulp. “We’re conning that jezebel into driving there.”

“She’s gonna be so pissed…” Alice said, trailing off.

And pissed she was. At around seven, when Rose finally showed up, no one was remotely close to

sober.

“Time to go!” Emmett shouted as soon as she walked through the door. Rosalie looked around at

the situation in awe. She shouldn’t have been surprised. That’s what you get for showing up last.
“Are you fucking kidding me? How are we all supposed to get there?” She gave me the evil eye.

“Take the jeep!” Emmett tossed her the keys, but she let them drop to the floor.

“I’m not driving that thing.”

Oh, Rosalie. You stuck up whore.

Clearly, she lost the battle. After having to physically pull Jasper and Bella away from their game of

quarters- those two were getting too chummy and it was pissing me the fuck off- we all crammed

into the Jeep. I pulled Bella onto my lap and strategically positioned her right over my crotch. It

was an easy move. Her fluffy hair kept blowing into my face the whole ride, and every time it did I

got a whiff of apples and whenever she turned around to talk to me, I smelt bubble gum and Goose.

Naughty thought were a brewin’. I was ready to spin her around and give her the reverse piggy back

right there with everyone watching.

I didn’t know what the hell this girl was doing to me, but it was fucking with my game, bigtime. My

interest in all the other pieces of ass at Forks was fading fast. The car ride was making me fucking

dizzy, and by the time we pulled up to the party I realized I was completely fucked. There were cars

everywhere and some shitty music booming from the inside of the house. Bella, being the cocktease

she is, grinded her ass against me as she leaned forward so Rosalie could pin some tiara thing onto

her head. After Bella hopped off me, I almost fell out of the side of the Jeep. Clearly, drinking for

15 hours straight was my cut-off point.

We stumbled up to the front door, my arm thrown around Bella’s shoulder. At that point, I was sure
my plan had worked. I’d have her on my junk in no time. As we walked into the party, I moved her

arm and let her walk ahead of me. There were a bunch of fakes squeals and “Happy Birthdays” and

then, instead of basking in all the attention, she spun around and looked at me, smiling.

Unfortunately, that was when I fucked everything up.

4.Party

BPOV

“Bella, you made it!” Angela squealed and embraced me in a hug. A bunch of people that I barely

knew greeted me and congratulated me, but I wasn’t concerned with them. Casually, I spun around

to meet Edward’s eyes.

Based on my lack of sobriety, I made the choice to abandon my plan. I wanted him. It was my

birthday. I was gonna do what I wanted today.

He stared at me, and I smiled because I didn’t know what the hell else to do. The music and all the

screaming voices faded into the background, and all I saw was him. His disheveled hair. His bright

green eyes. The adorable way he was standing, with his hands in his pockets.

And then, I felt someone trying to shove by me, and my view of him was blocked by Jessica and

Lauren.

“Edward! What took so long?” Jessica latched onto his arm as Lauren put her fingers in his hair

seductively. I wanted to snap both their necks.

I couldn’t help but look as they tried to be sexy, whispering in his ear and talking way too close to

his face. And the fucker was eating it all up.

Hello? Was today not supposed to be my day? Was this not my fucking party? Thanks for

acknowledging me, Jessica, you dirty whore.

My face dropped as Lauren grabbed his hand and him and Jessica trailed behind her, passing by me

without a thought.

“Edward!” That shithead wasn’t gonna walk by and pretend I wasn’t there.

“What?” He raised his eyebrows at me as they tried yanking him away.

“What are you doing?”

I held my ground.

“I’ll be back in a minute.”

“No! Stay with me.”

“Bella, I was with you all day. Chill out.”

What. A. Fucker. What kind of a person gives you extravagant second hand gifts and gets you drunk

at school and takes care of you all day and then keeps getting you drunk and gropes you and shoves

his boner into you the entire car ride to your party and then drops you flat? UGH. I was beyond

pissed.

I took a gulp of a drink that some douche had put into my hand. So ridiculous. Without saying

anything else, Edward walked down a hallway with slut and sluttier.

Jasper and Alice must’ve noticed the somber expression on my face, because they tried distracting

me.

“Come on, Bella. Let’s get this party started.” Jasper started up an abandoned staircase, Alice

behind him. She signaled for me to follow them. When we got to the top of the stairs, she spun

around to me and stuck her bottom lip out.

“Don’t be sad, Bella.”

“I’m not.”

I was. But I wasn’t about to let everyone know how pathetic I was.

“You are. You should’ve expected this from him, though,” Jasper said, sympathetically. He looked

at a school photo of Jessica that was hanging on the wall and made a disgusted noise before Alice

smacked it off the wall, making the glass in the frame shatter on the floor. I liked them. We laughed

and Jasper kept walking to a room at the end of the hallway.

“What are we doing?” I asked.

“Isn’t it obvious? Threesome.” Jasper chuckled and slammed the door shut behind me. We were in

Jessica’s parents bedroom. I made a face at the lack of taste reflected in the decorating scheme.

Alice shoved open the bathroom door and flicked on the lights. “Jackpot!”

“Seriously, what are we doing?”

“Jessica’s dad is on disability,” Jasper informed me. “He hurt his back at work. We’re hunting for

treasure.”

He popped open the medicine cabinet and his eyes widened.

“Come on, help.” I trotted next to him and Alice stood guard at the door. We rummaged through the

bottles, dumping the good ones into our hands.

“Oooh, this one’s good.” I grabbed a few from the bottle and shoved the pills into Jasper’s pocket.

“Okay, we’re done here.”

“No, wait. Excedrin PM. Take those, too.”

The whole thing was making me laugh. We were good on painkillers for the next couple weeks.

Plus, Jessica was sure to get grounded for that shit. Maybe sent away to boarding school, if we were

lucky.

Alice, Jasper and I each popped one of the pills and washed it down with whatever I was drinking

before heading back to the hallway.

“Wait, we have one more pit stop.” Jasper pushed open another door and switched the light on.

“It looks like Barbie puked in here,” I noted, cringing at all the bright pink décor. Clearly, this was

Jessica’s room. I walked over to the window, where there was audible shouting coming from the

other side. There were a bunch of people in the backyard, below the window, acting like morons.

“Slide that bitch open,” Jasper instructed. Alice and him were going through her stuff, opening

drawers and totally invading her privacy. Karma, bitch.

“Jasper!” Alice called him, pointing down at a drawer. Instead of taking whatever was in it, Jasper

just pulled the whole drawer out of the dresser and walked over to the window.

“What the hell are you doing?”

“I’m not touching anything in here.” He flipped the drawer out the window, making a shower of

Jessica’s underwear fly down to everyone standing outside. Everyone out there started laughing and

hollering as Jasper dropped the drawer by our feet and smiled.

“Feel better?”

“Yes.”

By the time I reached the stairs, I was already feeling way more drunk and relaxed. If it was

physically possible.

We joined Rosalie and Emmett in the kitchen, where they were playing flip cup. I cut myself off

after a couple games, not wanting to pull a Jasper and puke in front of everyone there. Within that

time I’d pushed Edward to the back of my mind, and I was actually enjoying myself. Edward, who

was still yet to be seen. Dick.

Rosalie and I made our way to the downstairs bathroom, which was occupied. She had been a rude

bitch to me at first, but eventually I realized that was just how she was, and I kind of loved it. As I

was leaning against the wall, Rosalie fussing with my hair, I heard a distinct slapping and a moan

from behind a closed door. My mouth dropped, and Rosalie rolled her eyes.

“They’re fucking disgusting.” She banged her fist against the door, shaking it hard, and then added

a kick for shits and giggles. Bitch was reckless. I appreciated my new friends. They made it a point

to make me feel comfortable.

As the night went on, I got cloudier and cloudier, thanks to the prescription meds and the fact that

Alice wouldn’t let me stop drinking. Before I knew it, it was past four in the morning, my bottle of

Cristal was long gone, and I wanted to get the fuck out of there.

“Jasper,” I pulled on his arm as we stood outside, him smoking a cigarette. “I want to leave. How

are we gonna leave?”

“We’ll go to my house. It’s the closest. Let’s just get Alice.”

After searching through the swarms of people, Jasper and I finally found Alice, attempting to take a

shot in the kitchen. She was wasted, but had a ridiculous tolerance for someone who was so tiny.

Her makeup was smudged and there was a wet spot running down the front of her expensive top,

and she was walking around barefoot, her Jimmy Choo’s in hand. It was classic. Jasper managed to

pull her away, and we headed toward the back door.

Suddenly, I felt something grab my arm. My first reaction was to yank it away, and then I turned to

see who it was. Edward was standing there, smirking. His hair was extra sloppy, and his cheeks

were red and his lips were pink and puffy.

I was so jealous.

“Where are you going?”

“Get away from me,” I murmured, before running outside to Alice and Jasper. He didn’t follow me.

The trek to Jasper’s house only took about 15 minutes. He carried Alice piggyback the entire way,

since she refused to put her shoes back on. The whole walk was through woods, and I swore I

almost got attacked by a deer. I have no clue how Jasper knew how to get around in the woods

when it was dark, but he did.

Jasper’s house was easily as amazing as Edward’s. We walked through a side door that led down a

small hallway, directly into his room. He dropped Alice, who was passed out, on his huge sleigh bed

and sighed.

“Do you want pajamas or something?”

“Yes.” I peeled off my boots and tossed them over by the door.

“I don’t think anything will fit you.”

“T-shirt. Boxers.” He chucked me a “Forks High Class of ‘09” shirt and some plaid boxers from his

walk in closet. I changed in his bathroom and used his toothbrush without permission. The tiara

stayed on, though. When I walked out, he was waiting for me, in a t-shirt and some sweet flannel

pajama bottoms. I pointed and made fun of him.

“Let’s go raid the kitchen,” He suggested. I agreed.

Jasper pulled out a stool from the kitchen island and I hopped into it. He opened the fridge,

searching through it.

“So. Bad birthday?”

“No. It was fuckin amazing. Thanks to you and Alice.”

Jasper slid a half eaten cheesecake across the marble countertop and tossed me a fork.

“Cake seemed appropriate.” I nodded, both of us digging into it. “Bella, listen. Edward is a dirtbag.

That’s just how he is. But, he’s my best friend, and I know he likes you, more than any of those

other girls. He just doesn’t know how to act… right.”

“Blah, blah.” I drunkenly waved my fork in the air, not wanting to talk about him. “I hate him.”

“You hate him cause you like him.”

“No.”

“You want my advice?”

“This cheesecake is fab-u-lous.”

“Come, on.”

I sighed and looked up at him. “What?”

“Play the game. Do it better. If he’s gonna be a douche to you, be a… douchette.”

I pursed my lips and winked at him. “Wanna do it?”

“Not what I meant.” He swallowed his mouthful of cake and dropped his fork. “You done?”

I nodded and leaned back in the stool, stuffed with cheesecake and every kind of booze imaginable.

Plus, I kind of lost my appetite when Jasper brought up stank Edward. Stankward. Ha. I trotted back

to Jasper’s room and hopped into the bed next to Alice.

“Okay, I’m gonna go sleep one the sofa- you need anything?”

“No! You’re staying here. There’s room.” I rolled Alice over and scooted to the middle of the bed,

patting the empty space next to me. Jasper laughed and hesitated, but eventually he climbed into the

bed. I shimmied next to him, resting my head on his shoulder and fell asleep.

*

“What the fuck is this?” I heard shouting and a door slam. When I sat up, Edward was standing near

the door, wearing the same clothes as he was the night before. Jasper groaned and rolled out of the

bed, walking toward the bathroom. I just sat there, giving Alice an “uh-oh” look.

Edward followed after Jasper, and Alice and I were behind him. Jasper was leaning over the sink,

brushing his teeth when Edward started his yelling again.

“Whitlock! What the fuck?”

“What?” Jasper shook his head and gave him a look like what the hell did I do?

“Well, first of all you fuckin left me there last night!”

“Dude, I didn’t see you once the whole night. I didn’t even know you were still there.”

“She did!” Edward pointed at me and Jasper frowned.

“Uh, yeah. I saw him when we were walking out the door, but-” Jasper cut me off.

“Shut up, Bella.” He shoved past Edward and walked toward his bed. Alice and I stood there, silent.

“Yeah, well, then I come here and you two are all cuddly on the bed.”

“So, what? Are you her boyfriend or something?” Alice interrupted.

“No. That’s not the point, he’s being sneaky.”

Edward was slurring his words, still clearly drunk.

“I’m being sneaky?” Jasper laughed. “You get the poor girl wasted and the second you walk in the

door, you leave her to go and fuck those two dirty hags- which, by the way, I think we can all agree

that you should be out getting some penicillin instead of being here.”

Edward sneered at him as me and Alice giggled in the corner.

“Okay, stop you guys. I don’t want you mad at each other because of me.” I stood between them,

feeling guilty. “Edward… no offense, but you’re gross. If you want to yell at someone, yell at…

yourself. We all had a great time while you were in there having a ménage-a-trios or whatever the

fuck you were doing that was more important to you then my birthday. No one did anything wrong

to you.”

He looked down at the floor. I think I succeeded in making him feel like an asshole.

“Now… Jasper, uh, can you give us a ride home?”

The entire ride was awkward. Alice and I sat in the back, hungover as shit, and Edward and Jasper

didn’t say anything to each other the whole time. When we pulled up to my house, I hugged Alice

and patted Jasper on the shoulder.

“Thanks, homie.” Before I could close the door, I heard Edward’s voice.

“I’m coming over later.”

“No you’re not.” I slammed the door and ran up to my room, locking the window and closing the

curtains to show him he wasn’t welcome.

5.Apologies

EPOV

That bitch kept the window locked. I tried once, but my dignity still kind of mattered to me so I

didn’t go back. On Monday, Bella got to Spanish late and sat near the window, even though her

typical seat next to butterface was empty. In 4th period History, she sat in the front row, far away

from me. Fifth period, same deal. At lunch, she sat between Alice and Jasper and didn’t look at me

once. Jasper was inching closer to Newton on my shit list. And speaking of the retard himself, in

Biology she did the unthinkable. She sat next to that prick, and made me sit by myself. The nerve.

It had been five days. Five fucking days of Bella keeping her window locked and ignoring me.

Since Monday, she had strutted into class looking purposely extra fuckable and sitting as far away

from me as possible. And since Monday, I had to watch her sit next to that little gloating fucker
Newton in Bio instead of with me. I was ready to quit that bitch. I swore that if she walked into

class and sat next to that fag today, I was getting suspended because nothing was going to stop me

from fucking

him

up.

I was shocked when Bella strutted in and took her spot next to me. Newton said nothing. It

might’ve had something to do with me choking him until he was blue in the locker room the period

before. When she dropped into her seat, her long, chocolate hair bounced against her shoulder and I

smelt the apples and bubblegum and it brought me back to that night and I cringed. Idiot.

Douchebag. Retard. There weren’t enough insults in the fucking English language to describe me.

Maricón. Morceau de merde. Schlampe-

“Hey, Edward.”

Bella’s voice broke me from my multi-lingual self-loathing. I turned my head in her direction,

squinting and cocking an eyebrow at her. Five fucking days.

“Hi?”

It came out more as a question then a greeting. I didn’t get why she was giving in. Before I could

say anything else, Banner cockblocked and started explaining the lab to us. As soon as he shut his

trap, I yanked the microscope to my side of the desk, forcing Bella to pay attention to me.

“Listen-”

She reached for the microscope and shook her head. I got a nice eyeful down her shirt. “Don’t.”

“Sorry, Swan. I’m sorry, okay? Let’s just go back to… how things were before.”

She smirked and peered into the microscope. “How exactly were things before? One is metaphase.”

“Uh. You talked to me.” I scribbled the answer down in my notebook and we switched.

“I’m talking to you right now.”

“Two is prophase. And unlock your window. I’m coming over later.” She ruined my notes by

writing the answer in her craptastic penmanship. “Three is anaphase.”

We were the first group done with the lab, of course. Considering we were in a school full of a

bunch of fucking noobs, it wasn’t surprising. I called Banner over, and since it was the last class of

the day and we had nothing else to do, he let me and Bella bizzounce out of there. I walked with her

through the silent hallways, feeling awkward. Swan was totally cramping my style.

“So, what’s the deal woman?”

“What do you mean?” She pulled a blow pop from her locker and stuck it in her mouth, looking up

at me innocently with her big, sexy eyes. Damn her. I wanted her sucking on my blow pop.

“Come on. Cut the shit.”

Bella sighed and shut her locker. “I’m just… over it, okay? Let’s talk about something else. Like

what kind of shit Jessica’s been talking about me.”

I laughed. “I wouldn’t know. Haven’t talked to her.”

“You’re lying.” She handed me her books, since I guess that was the polite thing to do if you were a

dude. Carry someone’s books. Who knows.

“Have you seen me talk to her?”

“I haven’t looked at you. Or her. I hate her. I want to rip her eyeballs out. And her hair. And her

jugular vein. And-”

“Yeah, I get it.”

Bella was sexy when she was mad. I made a mental note of that.

“Seriously. What kind of a… manipulative, scheming, fake, skank whore user is she? What kind of

a person pretends she likes you so she can throw you a birthday party just to get to your friend? I

hate her.”

“I share your sentiment.”

By that point, we’d reached Bella’s POS car. She grabbed her books from me and threw them in the

passenger seat, rolling her eyes.

“No you don’t. You had a threesome with her and McSlutty. For like six hours.”

“You’re wrong.”

She hopped into the car and looked at me, like ‘Yeah, okay.’

“I’m not lying. I’ll be by later.” She didn’t refuse, so I closed the door for her and started toward le

Volvo.

*

It was raining. Of course it was. We lived in Forks, aka purgatory. I slid my hood over my head and

pushed my sleeves up, ready to battle it out with the tree. I chugged the rest of the scotch in my

water bottle, making sure if I dropped to the ground I’d be numb. And then it was on.

My stupid fucking Chucks had no grip left on them. Damn cheap pieces of shit. I hopped onto the

first branch, stopping to catch my breath. I was no Spiderman, that’s for sure. By the time I reached

the death branch near Bella’s window, I swear on Angelina Jolie my left arm was going numb. But

the window was open. Wide open. I hopped in as smoothly as I could, making a wet smudge on

Bella’s floor.

“Hey.”

She was sitting at her desk, typing on my laptop. Her laptop. Whatever.

“I’m waterlogged.” I dropped my backpack on the ground and took off that god-awful hoody. Bella

giggled as I shook my hair out like a dog.

“Here. I thought ahead.” She tossed me a towel and watched as I tried to dry off best I could. I

looked around at her redecorated room and gave her a thumbs up. The yellow walls were gone,

thank god, and everything matched way better. Grey and white and black. And there was a new

fluffy blanket on her bed that was begging to be christened.

“Looks good in here. Good thing you got the whore to help you before the fallout.”

“I know, right? At least one good thing came of her.”

Bella looked fine. Her hair was still a little damp from her shower, and she had on some black little

nightie that looked like something out of one of Esme’s Victoria’s Secret catalogues that I frequently

used to rub one out when I was in the downstairs bathroom.

“Can I interest you in a nice, room temperature beverage?” I pulled a water bottle of Goose from

my backpack and tossed it to her. I came prepared. She opened it, sniffed, and shrugged, throwing it

back.

“Was there a purpose to you coming here?” She asked, taking another swig.

“I’m giving you the pleasure of my company. People should have to pay for this.”

“Yeah, yeah.” She closed the laptop and got into bed, pulling the blankets over her. “Say what you

have to say.”

I sat down at her desk chair and slapped my hands against my legs. Fuck, I was nervous. I was far

from a decent human being. How the fuck was I going to apologize so she knew I meant it? I

signaled for her to toss me the Goose and took a gulp before starting.

“I fucked up. I’m a douche.”

She rolled her eyes. “Not telling me anything I don’t know.”

I brushed the cynicism off.

“I don’t know why I’m explaining myself to you, because I don’t explain shit to anyone but… I

didn’t have a fucking three-way with those wenches, and I know that’s what you think. Give me

some credit.”

She sighed and slid down to her pillow.

“Okay.”

She didn’t believe me. I didn’t blame her. I was a fucktard.

“Honestly, do you want to hear what happened?”

“No. I don’t feel like upchucking on my new blankets. And I don’t care. It’s not about that.”

“Huh,” I exhaled through my clenched teeth. “Well, you might hurl. But I’m telling you anyway.”

Timidly, I made a move to climb into bed next to her, expecting a fist to the ocular area. I stayed

above the blankets, not wanting to push my luck.

“First of all, I was wasted. I can’t take responsibility for what I do when I’m that drunk.”

“On the list of shitty excuses for doing thickheaded things, getting drunk is number one. That’s not

a good thing. But, go on,” She said, moving her hands in a circular motion. Her vocabulary

impressed me more and more every day.

“Uhhh… okay. So- I’ll make it quick. Yes, I’m a pervert. Yes, they were whispering dirty things to

me and yes, I went because my brain is deteriorating day by day due to my drinking habits. I’m a

wanker. Whatever. And I’ll spare you the details, but I didn’t fuck them, and their little show wasn’t

even hot, they fucking sucked, and I kept thinking about you, and I was spinning, and I wanted

them to leave me the fuck alone, so I passed them off to Newton because that shit was not a treat,

and I went into another room and passed the fuck out. Okay? Don’t be mad.”

I was out of breath after that little spiel. It was like, some five minute long Chasing Amy type shit.

Bella turned her head toward me. She wasn’t smiling. Her eyes looked tired.

“What the hell are you trying to do to me, Edward?”

Huh.

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t get what your deal is. I thought we were just friends.”

“We are.”

I scratched my head.

“Uhh…”

“Well, if we’re just friends, you shouldn’t be apologizing to me for fooling around with other girls. I

was only mad because you totally just… ditched me. For Jessica. You don’t even like her.”

“It won’t happen again, Swanster. Truth.”

“Fine.”

“Oh, and don’t tell anyone about that either. I’d like Jasper and Emmett to keep thinking it’s true.

Because, in all honesty, threesomes are pimp.”

She yawned, and stretched her arms, purposely hitting me in the face.

“You’re not sleeping. Today was the hardest climb yet.” I rolled toward her, bending my arm and

resting my head on my hand. “Here.” I pulled my iPhone out of my pocket and turned on some

panty dropping music, trying to get her in the mood. She stuck the earbud in her ear and hmmmed

quietly.

And then she started talking to me. We talked about the most pointless shit ever, but I’d never heard

her talk so much since I’d met her, and I liked listening to her voice, and her expressions, and the

way she did a crap job of imitating people. I told her pointless stories about the most random shit

and she listened, and laughed, and fucking Bella. I liked her. Not just the way I liked Jasper or

Emmett, I liked her. Unfortunately, I’d fucked myself from the beginning with my damn arrogant

ways.

As the hours went by, she got more and more tired, and her eyes were hooded and she kept biting

her bottom lip, and all I wanted to do was grab her and kiss her and… do dirty things to her. But I

didn’t. She rested her head on my chest as I told her about a time me & Jasper had walked in on

Emmett jerking off, and it was a funny fucking story, and she laughed and her hair was in my face

and it smelled like strawberries and soap and a bunch of other girly shit. And then she put her hand

on my stomach, and I felt the warmth through the fabric of my t-shirt and I had to think back to my

dog dying when I was in junior high to calm my boner before Bella saw it. Being friends was hard

fucking work. I needed a nap.

I set my alarm clock on my phone so I’d wake up before Charlie did, and I fell asleep there in

Bella’s bed.

*

“Edwarddd. What am I gonna do?” Bella stuck her head out the window of the big rusty shitmobile

and stuck her bottom lip out. I continued looking under the hood and gave her a shrug.

“This is surprising to you?”

“Yes. This beast is solid.” She tried turning the key again to no avail.

“Swan, it’s like 50 years old. Loosen the purse strings and get something else.” I slammed the hood

and walked over to the open window, looking inside at her. It was starting to rain, and it was already

dark since we had to stay after school for detention, the result of skipping class due to our drunken

escapades on her birthday. We needed to get the fuck out of there, stat.

“I like my car, doofus. I don’t want a new, generic one like yours.”

“I’ll forgive that comment since I know you’re in mourning.”

Bella rolled up the window and got out of the car, standing next to me and shivering.

“Emmett’s better with cars then me, he’ll look at it tomorrow. Come on.” I grabbed her arm and

pulled her toward the Volvo. She got into the passenger seat and started inspecting, as usual.

“I’ve never been in here before. It’s cute, I guess. No Chevy pickup, but whatever. It smells good.”

I rolled my eyes at her ludicrous statement.

When we got to my casa, Esme and Carlisle were on their way out. Not a big shocker.

“Mom, this is Bella.” I introduced them quickly and tried to haul Bella away so no questions were

asked.

“Hi Bella! It’s nice to meet you. Your dad says-” Bella cut her off.

“Oh! Charlie… please don’t tell him you saw me. Please.”

Esme looked confused.

“He doesn’t want her around me,” I clarified.

“Yeah. That makes sense.” Carlisle added his douchiness into the conversation. “Behave yourselves,

please.”

And with that they were out. Open house and Bella. Time to make a move. First stop, refreshments.

After the typical raiding of Carlisle’s bar, we attempted to write up our Bio lab. Shit wasn’t

working. Bella was hammered, and she kept laughing, and her attention span was like a fucking

goldfish, and every time she typed something up I had it check it for spelling mistakes.

“Cullen, you’re wrong. It goes prophase, metaphase, telophase, anaphase-”

“No. NO. You’re wrong. This is common fucking sense, Bel.” Bitch was delusional in the brain. I

had no clue how she was gonna get all the way through AP Bio if she couldn’t get through the

amateur fucking first month of labs.

“I’m not always wrong, you self-righteous fuck.” She moved my laptop from her lap and placed it

on the bed next to her to flip through the textbook.

“No, not always, but right now you are.” I climbed next to her and flipped to the right page, reading

out loud to prove myself right. Bitch. “Prophase, metaphase, ANAPHASE, TELOPHASE.

Dumbass.”

She growled and threw the book on the floor, pissed. I laughed. A lot. So much I almost busted a

rib.

“I hate you. Stop laughing.”

I didn’t.

“Stop. Fucking. Laughing.”

Still didn’t.

“Edward!” And then she put her little hands on my shoulders and pushed as hard as she could, and

since I was pretty twisted she was able to push me off the bed.

“Oooh, rough. I like it.”

She kicked me in the chest, making me fly across the room.

“That’s it.” I jumped onto the bed and grabbed her wrists, spinning her around and pinning her on

her back. I didn’t realized that I crossed some personal space boundaries until I was hovering above

her and looked down, seeing her face only a few inches from mine. She was the one who started it.

*

BPOV

Shit.

Shit shit shit.

What the hell did I get myself into?

I don’t know. I was drunk.

Suddenly, Edward’s “I was drunk” excuse made perfect sense. Because there was no way I was

holding myself back.

He was there. Right there. On top of me. Those unbelievable green eyes were staring at me, and I

could smell the Axe and laundry and… fuck again and he was breathing through his mouth and it

was hitting my face and it smelled like spearmint and jolly ranchers and his lips were right there and

my common sense was gone because my brain was going woooooshhh… so I did it.

He was holding my wrists against the bed so I craned my neck and pushed my mouth against his.

Hard. And I didn’t think it was possible but the smell was even stronger and it was driving me

crazy, and he let go of my wrists so I reached my hand out and put it on his jaw, because I always

wanted to touch it and his lips were so soft. And then his lips parted a tiny bit and I felt his warm

breath in my mouth and I moved closer, sucking his top lip between mine and I felt his hot, firm

tongue press against my lip and then… I realized what I was doing.

No.

Hell no.

Getting more involved with Edward then just friends was going to have drastic consequences on my

life, and I wasn’t going to do it. I wasn’t going to let some guy hurt me, even if it was him, when I

knew better. So I slid out from underneath him, and I frantically looked around the room for my

bag.

“Um… what’s wrong?”

He looked at me like I just sprouted another head.

“Nothing. I have to go.”

“What the hell did I do?”

My head was still spinning, and I was trying to catch my breath. Where the fuck was my purse?

“Swan, chill out. It’s not a big deal.”

Thanks, dick. Maybe that’s the problem.

“Where’s your phone?” Fuck my bag. I needed a ride out of there. Edward didn’t say anything, he

just stuck his hand out, the phone in his palm.

Stupid fucking iPhone. I couldn’t figure out how to work it. After pressing like 500 buttons I finally

got to his contacts. I called Alice first.

No answer.

Luckily, Jasper picked up on the second ring.

“Bro. You know better then calling when it’s dinnertime.”

“Jasper, it’s Bella. Can you come pick me up at Edward’s? Please? Like… now?”

Edward looked majorly po’ed. He grabbed the phone from my hands and rolled his eyes.

“You don’t have to pick her up. Bye.” He shoved the phone back in his pocket and turned to me,

throwing his arms in the air. “What the fuck?”

“I just want to be friends.”

“Okay…?” He frowned.

“So don’t kiss me!”

“You kissed me!”

Damn it, he was right. Again.

“I know. Well, don’t tempt me! Because I’ll do it, and I don’t want to. Because you’re Stankward.”

He squinted his eyes at me and ran his fingers through that coppery goodness on his head. “Fuck

you.”

“Sorry.”

Edward looked at me, still confused. He glanced down at his feet and shrugged.

“I’ll take you home in a little while. Let’s finish the lab. Why don’t you sit… at the desk or

something? I’ll stay over here.”

“Good plan.”

By the time Edward had sobered up enough to drive, it was past ten. Charlie was waiting on the

front porch when Edward pulled into the driveway. He stomped toward the car, opening the

passenger door and yanking me by the arm.

“Charlie! Get the fuck off me!” I pulled my arm away, but he grabbed my shoulder and led me

toward the house.

“Watch your mouth!” Charlie spun back toward the open car door and sneered at Edward. “Cullen,

I’ll deal with you later!” He slammed the poor Volvo door shut, still not moving his hand from my

shoulder.

“What’s your fucking problem? Calm down!”

“You smell like liquor. Are you drunk?”

“No!”

I kind of was. Charlie was more pissed then I’d ever seen him, so I didn’t want to push him.

“What did I tell you about being out on school nights? And where’s your car?”

“I was at fucking school doing a Bio lab, you psycho! And my car broke down so Edward was

trying to fix it and then he gave me a ride home!”

It was kind of the truth, just shuffled around a bit.

“Bella, one more curse or insult out of your mouth, and I swear the next step is boarding school.”

I pffffed and crossed my arms over my chest, because I sensed he wasn’t joking.

“On school nights, you’re to be home BY TEN. No excuses. And NO DRINKING. Oh, and stay

away from the damn Cullen kid.”

I gave Charlie, that life sucker, a dirty look and stomped up the stairs. He ruined my Edward high.

Before I went into my room, I brushed my teeth and threw my hair up, too buzzed to take a shower.

I dragged ass into my room, and when I turned the light on I almost had a coronary.

“Boo!” Edward was sitting on my bed, laughing. I locked the door and smiled at him, so happy he’d

surprised me by being there. “Sleepover?” He asked.

I nodded and laid down, trying to figure out what the hell I was going to do with damn Edward

Cullen.

6.Games

EPOV

I slid my Ray-Bans on, surprised by the sudden sunlight that came through the clouds. That had to

mean something good, right? Alice had given me a fake ID to drop off at Bella’s for later that night,

so I was making my way to the Swanster’s. Bella said she wasn’t even going to Alice’s unless she

saw the ID first. Somehow I got sucked into being the mailman. When I drove by the house, Charlie

was standing in the driveway, trying to fix Bella’s truck. Dammit to hell. That made things difficult.

Bella was still serving detention for skipping class. I was bored as fuck there, so I had Carlisle call

in a favor to the principal since I was ready to hang myself with my own shoelaces if I had to sit

there another day. Sucked for her. And Jasper. And Emmett. Ha.

My wheels of intellect started grinding. I decided to do some sucking up to Charlie, figuring the

worst thing that would happen would be him pulling his gun out of his holster and holding it up to

my temple, while yelling. And maybe I’d shit my pants. But I doubted he’d do that in broad

daylight, so I parked my car in front of the house and walked over to him.

“Get off my property, Cullen. Bella’s not here.”

“Chill out, Chief. I’m just seeing if you need help.”

Dude had oil on his face and all over his hands, and he was touching shit that he should not have

been touching. I looked down at the piece of metal by his feet and bent down to inspect it.

“You’re replacing the alternator?”

“Go away.”

He wasn’t courteous, at all. I was mildly offended.

I stood up and looked under the hood, pointing at his mistakes. “Don’t you know anything about

cars? You have to take the drive belt off first. And those bolts.”

He groaned and gave me a malicious look that said, “Die, Cullen” but he didn’t ask me to leave

again. I yanked the tool out of his hand and went to work. Swan Senior just watched me, grunting

and muttering shit under his breath like wiseass and know-it-all.

Trying to tone down my conceited bastard side, I let him take over. It seemed to work. He started to

warm up to me as much as can be expected from someone who knew you were trying to impale

their only daughter.

“Why are you here, Edward?”

Charlie looked up at me, squinting his eyes. Maybe he was smarter then I gave him credit for.

“Alice asked me to drop this off for Bel on my way home.” I shoved the small envelope in the front

pocket of his redneck, oil stained flannel shirt and patted it. “Don’t open that either. Invasion of

privacy, you know.”

“You’re a little prick, Cullen.” I’d heard him say it to me before, but this time the malice in his

voice was almost gone.

“I’m helping you out, here. A thank you would be nice. You’d be doing this shit till next Tuesday if

it wasn’t for me.” I lifted the alternator out of the truck and dropped it on the floor.

“Now I know where my daughter’s getting her refined vocabulary from.”

I rolled my eyes at Charlie and leaned over, inspecting the work we’d done so far.

“Give me a break, Charlie. You need to lighten up a little. You act like I’m trying to make your

daughter give me a blumpkin or something.”

Blank stare.

“What the hell’s a blumpkin?”

“Forget I said that.” I scratched my head. I needed to work on my verbal filtering skills. “We’re just

friends, so stop being all uptight. Please. You’re digging yourself an early grave with all the

stressing.”

Chief said nothing. We finished up with everything and my new buddy was ecstatic when the car

turned on. Like he expected I wouldn’t have been able to do it. Pfttt.

“Thanks, Edward.”

“No prob.” I wiped my hands off on a towel and started back toward my car.

“Wait!”

Hah. Just as I anticipated.

I spun around and he started walking toward me.

“Here’s the rules, Cullen. As long as you follow them, you’ll be alright. One- do not let me catch

you touching my daughter. Ever. Two- you’re not to come inside my house. Three- if you upset her,

or get her into any kind of trouble, you will never see her again. Understand?”

I was pretty sure I’d already broken all those rules more than once, but I agreed.

“One: no touching, two: no house, three: no trouble. That’s kosher.” I shook his hand and gave him

a wave before heading back to my car.

*

Alice and Rosalie’s cars were the only ones in the driveway when I pulled up. Fun times were

ahead.

“Alice!” I shouted her name as I walked into her chateau. There faint sound of music was coming

from upstairs. “Yello!”

No answer.

Before I looked for those two vaginas I made a detour toward Mr. Brandon’s sauce collection. I

decided that some 151 would make the time I had to spend with those two more bearable.

It took a mere 4 ½ minutes before I realized it was a bad choice. I was tipsy before I even made it

back to the staircase and I almost puked in Alice’s Grandma’s urn from the strong burning in my

chest. Shit was like drinking fire. That was an obvious foreshadowing of the night I was about to

have.

I took the steps two at a time up to her bedroom, trying not to rub my greasy ass on any of her

parent’s antique, grandiose decorations. Alice’s dad nearly ripped my balls off when I accidentally

broke some ugly cat statue over the summer. I may have been less then sober at the time, but that

was typical.

I popped my head into the midget’s bedroom, where the music was coming from. There was

giggling and shit coming from the bathroom, and when I appeared in the doorway I nearly busted a

nut right there.

“Holy shit!” I exaggeratedly rubbed my eyes and shook my head. “Did I just pop into my own

fantasy?”

The two of them turned their head toward me and without even a “Hello, Edward” or “Nice to see

you” they went back to what they were doing. And what they were doing, I had no clue. There were

standing in front of the mirror, Rosalie in a strapless bra and not much else besides those stocking,

pantyhose deals that secretaries wore in porn. And Alice was standing behind her in a towel,

looking at a measuring tape that was wrapped around Rosalie’s waist. Shit was surreal.

“What in Hades are you two lesbians doing?”

They still ignored me. I got that shit a lot from them.

“Why are you so dirty?” Alice asked without even looking in my direction.

“I was bonding with Chief Swan.” I staggered past them and turned the shower on before I started

stripping.

“Edward, what the fuck? I just did my hair, turn the hot water down.” Bitch bitch bitch was all that

came from Rosalie’s mouth. What else was new? I threw my oil stained shirt at her face.

“Ugh.” She dropped it to the ground and sneered at my naked reflection. I didn’t really care. It

wasn’t anything the two of them hadn’t seen plenty of times before.

"See anything you like?" Rosalie gave me the finger. I stepped into the shower and tried to make

that shit as quick and efficient as possible, but the 151 was making it tricky. “Seriously, what are

you doing?” I shouted over the stream of the shower.

“My dress was too big, Alice is taking it in.”

Seriously?

“Yo, you guys do know we’re going to Port Angeles, not the Oscars, right?”

No answer. Alice’s shower had streaks of black running down the sides from the crap that was on

my arms. She was not gonna be happy about that.

“Alice?” I stuck my head out of the shower door as she looked at me. “Do I have grease on my

face?”

She pulled the washcloth from my hand and roughly scrubbed at a patch on my cheek. For some

reason I found it erotic. And then I remembered it was Alice and I burped a little.

“There. Now get out of my shower, Edward.”

I rinsed the soap off myself and shut the water off, sticking my hand through a crack in the glass

doors and grabbing a towel off a shelf. After drying off I wrapped the towel around my waist and

stepped out, to see Rosalie standing there alone, putting on her makeup. I heard Alice’s voice and

some other muffled conversation going on in her room through the closed bathroom door. Thanks to

the Bacardi, my morals had taken a temporary vacation so I decided to work my magic on Hale. She

was purposely trying to give me blue balls.

“Forget the dress, I like this getup.”

She rolled her eyes at me.

I took a couple steps closer to her, pressing myself against her almost-naked body. She growled at

me a little, but didn’t do anything else. I gave her the famous “Edward Cullen Stunner”- an open

mouthed kiss on the part of her neck right behind her ear. It paralyzed bitches.

She gave a little sigh and dropped whateverthefuck she was holding in her hand into the sink,

making a loud ‘clink.’ Rosalie was hot as fuck, and I did this shit to her on a regular basis when I

was drunk since it was the only time I could get away with it. Her attitude sucked and it turned me

off bigtime sober, but not sober, I could take her or leave her. And right now, I was most certainly

not sober. Drinking Bacardi 151 now owned the title of “Most Damaging Activity for Edward,”

stolen from smoking pot. I reached in front of me and cupped my hand around her left boob over

her bra, pushing my hips into her ass a little harder. She smirked at me in the mirror, and just when I

was finally making headway, I felt a hand grab the back of my neck and shove me out the door.

“You’re a fucking moron.”

Jasper. You cockblocking son of a bitch.

I looked around to see Bella kneeling on the floor, going through a bag and Alice giving me a dirty,

dirty look. And not the good kind of dirty. Jasper left Alice’s room and slammed the door on the

way out.

“Look, Edward.” Bella hopped over to me, temporarily preoccupied by the sight of me in a towel. I

couldn’t blame her. “Do you think this will work?”

She stuck her hand out in front of my face, holding up the ID. It took me way too long to focus my

eyes.

“Hell yeah.”

“It doesn’t even look like me.” Bella was slurring her words. I guess her and Jasper found a way to

make detention fun.

“It is you. Today you’re Sarah Irvington… you’re 22 ½ and you live in Seattle. And you’re a

Gemini.” Bella looked at the ID again and shrugged. I gave a nice hard ass slap as she walked

toward the bathroom, making her squeal.

*

BPOV

Rosalie looked startled when she saw me. Or maybe I just thought she did because Jasper thought

it’d be a good idea to replace my dinner with tequila. He called it a “liquid diet.” I didn’t decline.

“Your hair looks good,” She said as I stood next to her in the mirror.

“Thanks. Alice fixed it.” I started rummaging through her makeup bag, trying to make myself look

somewhat decent. I figured out all too soon that my hands were too unsteady to apply eyeliner. Rose

quickly took over and when I looked in the mirror again I looked fab. Eat your heart out, Cullen.

I changed in the bathroom into a dress Rose & Alice had picked out for me, since I apparently

wasn’t capable of dressing myself. We conveniently told Charlie that I was staying at Alice’s

tonight, which was partly true, except for the fact that we were all underage and going out to a bar

an hour and a half away and sleeping in a hotel room with three horny teenage guys. The omission

was for Charlie’s sake.

I walked out into Alice’s bedroom, where Edward was now fully dressed and sipping on a bottle of

Bacardi like it was a beer. I predicted damage control was going to be necessary for him in the near

future. But thank GOD he was dressed. I swear, between the smell of him just coming out of the

shower and his naked chest and the tequila I nearly ripped the towel off and humped him right there

in front of Alice. The plan was to not fuck him, and shit like that threw me off track.

On a high note, though, his eyes nearly popped out of his head when he saw me twirling around in

front of the mirror in my strapless white dress. I complained to Alice about it being white since it

was after Labor Day and she said that rule hasn’t applied since the 90s. I disagreed, but shut my

mouth when I saw the perv ogling me. And, also because Alice said that if I insulted Alice + Olivia

again I wasn't welcome in her house.

When everyone was ready, and expediently tanked, we headed out toward the cars. Jasper and

Rosalie were the only two that were sober. I figured we’d split it girls in one car and guys in the

other, but Jasper insistently pulled me over to his car and shoved Edward in Rosalie’s, with her and

Alice. I figured the ride with Jasper and Emmett would be fun, so I didn’t argue.

“What’s with the seating arrangement?” I asked, climing into shotgun.

“Remember what I told you, about how you had to play the game better? Yeah well, you’re sucking

at it so we’re starting tonight,” Jasper said, turning to the backseat to give Emmett a look.

“Say what?”

I was confused.

“Edward’s pissing me off.” Jasper reached underneath my seat and handed me the bottle of Cuervo.

“Drink up.”

I spun around to Emmett and mouthed, “What the hell?”

He rolled his eyes and shook his head, grabbing the tequila from me. “I don’t know.”

He seemed a little glum.

“Please elaborate.” I slid my seat back and propped my feet up on Jasper’s dashboard.

“Edward thinks he can do whatever the fuck he wants all the time, with whoever he wants. And

without consequence. He needs to be taught a lesson. And I can see your underwear.”

I got that familiar jealous feeling in my chest, but this time it was different. It was jealousy mixed

with confusion mixed with whatthefuck did he do now.

“Uh… alright. I don’t get it but, whatever. What’d he bone Alice or something?”

Emmett laughed at my statement and Jasper reached around to punch him in the chest.

“No. He didn’t ‘bone’ Alice.”

I figured he didn’t. I had the feeling Jasper would’ve put a stake through Edward's heart if that was

the case.

“Then what?”

Silence.

“I caught him feeling up Rosalie before,” Jasper almost whispered.

I pushed back the jealousy that filled my chest, and tried to be cool. “Yeah, so? Why’s that a big

deal?”

I spun around and looked at Emmett, who all of a sudden had stopped laughing. Uh oh. All the

pieces started coming together slowly.

“Wait… you and Rosalie?” I asked him. He didn’t say anything, but his face turned a little red.

“I’ll kill him.” Emmett was ready to do a flying squirrel out of the car and hop into Rosalie’s to beat

Edward’s ass.

“No, no, calm down.” Jasper motioned for me to hand the bottle back to Emmett, so I complied.

“They weren’t doing anything. He was just being a pervert. And you can’t blame him really, since

no one knows.”

“No one knows?” I asked.

“Nope. Only me, because I walked in on them. Not a pleasant memory. Well, and now you know.”

Jasper cringed at the thought of Emmett and Rosalie getting it on. I did too and I hadn’t even seen

it. “Anyway, you seem to be a sensitive spot for him. His only sensitive spot. So you’re gonna show

him who’s boss. Got it?”

“Got it.”

In essence, our plan was to make Edward jealous as fuck. I did this by hanging all over Jasper at the

bar, which he somehow knew would piss Edward off to no end. It worked like a charm at first. We

checked into the hotel and walked over to the uppity bar, where Jasper and I took abundant amounts

of shots, not paying attention to anyone else. Emmett wallowed in seeing Edward get pissed. We

grinded on the dance floor and I brushed off Edward’s frequent advances, repeatedly going back to

Jasper. I was sincerely enjoying myself, even though most of it was an act.

Regrettably, our plan wasn’t well thought out. First off, I drank way too much and hadn’t eaten

since lunch that afternoon. My brain was doing the typical spinning-whoosh deal, and I was getting

sloppier and sloppier. Then, at around 11, a bunch of girls that challenged Rosalie and Alice’s status

as hottest chicks in the bar tromped in, quickly getting Edward’s attention. My mood changed

considerably when I saw him necking with some amateur supermodel against the bar. I was done.

Plus, Jasper drank way too much way too fast, trying to catch up with us, and soon enough he was

running out of the bar puking. That night he coined the term “Pulling a Jasper.”

It was over. I made the effort of telling Rosalie I was leaving and headed outside, where Jasper was

leaning against the wall of the bar heaving.

“Are you okay?” I asked him, the sound of him hurling making me queasy too.

“I’m good. Just sharing my drinks with the side of the building.” I laughed and steadied myself

against the wall, waiting for everyone to come out. Eventually, Alice, Emmett, and Rosalie filed

out, sans Dickward.

“Okay, let’s go,” Rosalie said, leading the way.

“Wait. Should we find Edward?” I caved. I didn’t want him staying with the skanks. The angel and

the devil in my head were quarreling.

“No. Let’s leave that disloyal motherfucker here.” Emmett was still plainly fed-up. His statement

flew over Alice’s drunk head.

I sighed and waltzed back into the bar, peering around for a glimpse of the copper mane. It took a

long time. Finally, I spotted him pinning the bitch against the wall, whispering in her ear and

playing with a piece of her hair.

I grabbed the back of his collar and yanked it, pulling him from whoreface. “We’re leaving.”

“Oh, hey. Where’s your boyfriend?” Edward was twisted. He gave me a nasty look, which made me

laugh inside. Maybe our little strategy was successful.

“Shut up. Let’s go.”

“You can stay with me.”

Oh, no she didn’t.

He winked at her, and it pissed me off because that was my wink, and I pulled him away from her

again.

“No, he’s not staying with you,” I said in a falsetto voice, irritating her.

He wanted to stay. And I didn’t want him to. And I was too drunk to keep playing games, so I pulled

a Hail Mary and grabbed his stupid face and yanked it to mine. And I kissed him again, but I

figured it was justified this time since it was the only way I could think to get him to come with me.
I pressed my lips to his and he tasted like liquor and I waited until I saw skankette walk away in my

peripheral vision and then I dropped my hands and pulled away and wiped my mouth. Because ugh.

It worked. Edward pushed through the crowd and went outside, me hobbling behind him because

I’d squeezed into Alice’s ankle boots and my feet were ready to quit me. When we got outside,

everyone was gone.

“See what you did, Dickward? They probably thought I was staying since I took so long finding

your VD-ridden ass.” I narrowed my eyes at him and started stomping back toward our hotel.

Actually, it was more of a limp-and-drag then a stomp. I stopped about 15 feet in front of Edward

and groaned.

“I’ll carry you.” Instantly he’d somehow appeared in front of me, crouching down so I could jump

on his back. Instead I just stuck my arm out and pushed him.

“I’m not touching you,” I shouted to him.

“Uh, why not?”

“Because, Edward,” I dropped my bag on the floor and crossed my arms over my chest. “You’re

like… a payphone. Even if you didn’t see anyone using it, you still know it’s full of germs.”

That was how Rosalie had explained Edward to me the first time we talked about him. I laughed at

myself.

“Yeah, that’s funny. You just kissed me. Again. So stop bitchin’ and hop on.”

“That one wasn’t real. It had a hidden agenda.”

“Okay. I’m freezing my sack off out here, so if you don’t get on, I’m leaving you.”

Bastard. He knew I didn’t want to be stranded there alone. I huffed and hopped on that scheming

motherfucker’s back.

“I don’t get why you’re pissed,” Edward said as we walked down the sidewalk, weaving in and out

of people. His hands were riding dangerously far up my thighs. “You seemed to be having a good

time with your new sweetheart.”

“Jealous much?”

“Whoa,” Edward shouted as he pretend like he was going to fall. Clearly it was to try and change

the subject. I slapped him in the back of the head. “Ohhh, look across the street. Do you want to get

one more drink?”

Edward had pissed me off royally, between the Rosalie incident and the groping chicks at bars. But,

who was I to get angry, really? He wasn’t my boyfriend. I was the one who repeatedly turned him

down, so it made perfect sense for him to go elsewhere. And anyway, I liked him being near me, so

I figured if I showed him a little affection he’d at least know I had some interest. And if he knew I

kind of cared, then maybe he wouldn’t be such a manwhore. Fat chance, but maybe.

There was a cute little bar lit up across the street, near the boardwalk. It was way more low key then
the last place we were at, and it looked like way more my thing then the swanky place Alice & Rose

had decided on.

“Yes. One more drink,” I agreed.

Alas, that one more drink put me over the edge. The last memory I had of the night was Edward

carrying me across the street to the bar.

*

“Owww.” It felt like I had rug burn on my side. I opened my eyes and… well, I was laying on

carpet. That made sense. I was laying on my stomach, so I brushed my face against the pillow and

turned my head in the other direction. No one was next to me.

“Bella!” I heard Alice shriek.

I frowned and lifted my pounding head a few centimeters off the pillow and gave her an, “Ehh?”

She was standing by my feet, her mouth gaping and her hand covering it. “Oh my god! What

happened?”

7.Branded

BPOV

"Oh my God! What happened?"

"I don't know?" I had no clue what Alice was talking about. I wiggled my fingers and toes just to

make sure I wasn't missing a limb or something.

"Swan! I'm gonna kill you!" Edward's voice echoed from the hotel bathroom. He sounded scary. I

heard Emmett's guffawing coming from the same place I'd heard Edward yelling from. He was

hysterical. I giggled, too preoccupied with the look on Alice's face to pay any attention to them.

"First off, what the hell am I wearing?"

Only then did I realize all I had on was a sports bra and some pajama shorts. Alice straddled my

legs and crouched down, poking at where the source of the pain on my side was coming from.

"Oww, stop!" I tried swatting her hand away. Strangely enough, it felt like whatever had happened

had been covered by... A bandage? Not a shock. Getting hurt wasn't out of the ordinary for me. But

not remembering a whole trip to the ER? Weird.

"I want to see it."

Alice was trying to pick at the tape around the edge of the huge bandage with her nails.

"Stop!"

Suddenly I got a flash from the night before.

Oh, shit.

Fuck.

No.

I jumped up from the floor and ran full speed to the bathroom, where Edward was standing in front

of the mirror shirtless, frantically rubbing at his rib with a washcloth. My heart was beating out of

my chest. Emmett was sitting on the toilet, laughing so hard he could barely breathe. He hadn't even

noticed I'd walked into the room.

"Dude, rip away at your skin all you want. It's not gonna do anything."

Oh, god. My memory was right.

Edward 's hair was out of control, and his eyes were beet red. He was cursing under his breath and

frowning and looked to be about two seconds away from stabbing Emmett in the throat.

"Emmett, take this off." I stood in front of him and pointed at the bandage.

"You too?!" That set him over the edge. He was laughing so hysterically he started crying. I clawed

away at the fucking tape and the gauze and when I looked in the mirror my face went white.

"Holy. Fuck." My only reaction was to shove Edward as hard as I could. He stumbled and banged

against the shower doors, making them vibrate as a loud rumbling noise shook the bathroom.

"What the hell," He shouted at me. At that point, Emmett had to walk out of the bathroom, probably

because he was about to collapse due to lack of oxygen from laughing so hard.

"You IDIOT! Oh, let's just get one more drink," I imitated him. "Look at what your one more drink

did to me!"

"This is your fault! I don't even remember asking you to get another drink! I barely even remember

checking into the hotel!"

"Okay, whatever. Asshole."

I laughed. The whole situation was so beyond retarded that it was all I could do.

"I'm not the asshole. Whoever is more sober is supposed to be the responsible one," Edward

muttered.

"You don't remember so how do you know I wasn't as drunk as you?" I countered back.

"Because no one in the history of the world has ever been as drunk as I was last night! Look at this!

The alcohol gods are trying to teach me a lesson."

I wasn't looking at him. I was too concerned with my reflection and the stupid fucking tattoo on my

side.

It was an "E". A big moronic fucking cursive "E". Standing for E-xtremely E-vil E-gocentric

Edward. On my body for E-ternity. Fuck, I was going to have to spend the rest of my life hiding it

from Charlie. No more ice pops in bikinis in the front yard for me.

I looked at Edward, who's delusional ass still thought rubbing his skin with a washcloth was going

to make it go away.

"It's not magic marker," I quipped. "Water's not gonna take it off."

Defeated, he dropped the rag into the sink and looked at me. I just shrugged.

"Can I see yours?" He sneered and lifted his arm as I leaned forward, inspecting the side of his

ribcage. Besides for the redness from the washcloth of denial, it looked the same as mine, except it

was a little bigger. And a B, obviously. Sucker.

I poked it and laughed. "I'm not hanging out with you anymore. You're a bad influence."

"Yeah, okay. I'm sure it was my idea to get a girly fuckin’ cursive “B” on my ribs. You took

advantage of me when I was too wasted to know better."

"Um, really? Because I think even if I was in a coma I'd know better then to get your initial tattooed

on me."

"Well, you got it so I guess you thought wrong."

He sneered at me again as I crossed my arms over my chest and narrowed my eyes at him.

"Fine, listen, there's no point in arguing. It's both our faults," Edward reasoned. I agreed with a nod.

"You want to know what's funny though?"

"Um, nothing?"

"Your dad told me yesterday he didn't mind me being around you as long as I didn't get you in

trouble. Well- that among other things. It hasn't even been 24 hours and I've already broken the

cardinal rule."

I laughed at that. "Wow, the irony. I'm starting to get a sense of what Charlie's problem with you is."

"Me too. When he finds out about this I have the feeling he's gonna make a windchime out of my

nuts and hang it from your front porch as a warning to other guys."

Everyone's moods seemed to be lifted when they saw the result of mine and Edward's idiocy.

Emmett and Rosalie cracked jokes every chance they got. It did kind of push all of the drama from

the night before to the backburner. Probably the only good thing that'll ever come from it.

When we walked to the parking lot, I stood next to Jasper's car, figuring we'd ride out the same way

we rode in. Edward wasn't having it.

"No. Fuck no." He grabbed my wrist and yanked me toward Rosalie's beamer. "Give me the keys,

Rose."

She gave him a dirty look but tossed them to him anyway. Rose and Alice decided to ride with their

lovers in the car of secrets, so it was just me and Edward. The whole ride. Yippee.

I flopped into the passenger seat and reclined it back farther then necessary. Edward gave me a look

as I pulled my hood over my head and slid my aviators over my face. Daylight did bad things to

hangovers.

"What's your problem," he asked, cocking his stupid eyebrow at me.

"I need a coffee IV."

He laughed at me. About 3 minutes into the trip home, I realized why I had ripped my shirt off in

my sleep. It kept rubbing against my Edward brand and it was fucking irritating. I stripped off my

hoody and t-shirt and used them as a pillow after turning the heat on full blast.

"What the fuck are you doing?"

"My tattoo hurts. I want it off. How can I get it off?"

"Uh... Money and laser surgery. Or you could kick it old school and just use salt until it eats away

all your skin," he suggested, chuckling. He was such a sarcastic bastard.

"God, I hate you so much right now." I started singing along with the radio until he changed the
song to something I didn't know. Purposely. "So, Edward. What would you do if you only had a

couple days left to live? Because I think that may be the case for both of us if Charlie sees this."

"If I were you I'd give me road head. That's an experience you don't want to pass up."

I gave him the finger instead.

"I'm about to do it just so you'll shut the hell up already," I murmured through clenched teeth.

"So what's stopping you?"

"My strong opposition to the spread of oral herpes. I already have one reminder of you on my body

I'm stuck with for life that I didn't want."

"Ever heard of a dental dam? I'm sure Rosalie has one in here somewhere," he joked, flipping up

her center console and pretending to look through it.

“You use a dental dam on a woman, you dumb fuck. And you're messing with my willpower to not

vomit in Rosalie's $80,000 car. If it happens and it's your fault I'm not cleaning it."He shut up real

fast.

Edward slammed on the brake when he pulled into my driveway, shooting me awake. I hadn’t even

realized I fell asleep.

“Hurry up and get out before your dad castrates me.”

I threw my t-shirt and my hoody back on, assuming if I walked into the house in a sports bra and a

fresh “E” tattoo that someone would be dying- either Charlie of a brain aneurism or me of blunt

force trauma to the head. I pulled my bag from the backseat and gave Edward a weak wave before

retreating to the front door.

“Dad?” I shouted his name as I clomped into the house, dropping my overnight bag at the bottom of

the stairs.

“In here!” I tried to look alive as I walked into the living room. “How was Alice’s?”

“Fun. I’m tired. Didn’t sleep much.” I took my sunglasses off and dropped them on the coffee table.

“Huh. Take a nap, I guess?” Charlie took a sip of his beer and didn’t look at me. There was a game

on, so I was surprised he even acknowledged me at all.

“Yeah, I’m about to. It’s not like I can go anywhere anyway, with my truck being handicapped and

all.”

“Your truck is fine,” He said, taking another sip. “Edward replaced the alternator with me yesterday.

I drove it around, it’s fine.”

Hold. Up.

“What? Edward?” Charlie nodded. “You and Edward actually fixed my truck? Together? What is

this?”

“He did most of the work. This doesn’t change anything though so… don’t get your hopes up.”

I rolled my eyes and sighed. “What does that even mean, Charlie?”

Without waiting for a response I ran up to my room and pulled out my phone. Edward fixed my

car? It was odd. He did something ridiculously nice for me, and unlike the birthday presents it

wasn’t to get in my pants because he didn’t even tell me he did it. Ugh. The confusing little douche.

How can someone be such an annoying turd one minute and your guardian friggen angel the next? I

dialed his number and sat on the edge of my bed, waiting.

“In-n-Out Burger.”

“Funny,” I quipped. “You fixed my car?”

He laughed. “Yeah. Didn’t your Dad tell you? We’re BFFs now.”

“Edward… you didn’t have to do that. Thank you. The tattoo incident is still unforgivable, but

thanks.”

“No problem.”

“Come over,” I suggested. “Take a nap with me. I’ll even help you through the window.”

“Wow, generous. I can’t though. Something came up… at home.” He trailed off, like he didn’t want

me knowing what he was doing. It made me suspicious.

“Something or someone?”

“Not someone. Well, not really. You can come over if you want. It’ll only take a little while, and

then we can have our ‘nap’ or whatever you meant by that.”

I thought about it for a second, and since I had nothing to better to do, I agreed.

“I meant nap. I’m tired. But, yeah, I’ll be there in a little while.”

*

I didn’t know who was home at Edward’s house, so I rang the doorbell. Only when I heard the

stupid donging did I realize I should’ve changed out of my scrubby attire so that Carlisle or Esme

didn’t judge. Suddenly, the door creaked open. I frowned when I saw who was standing there.

“Edward said go away.”

There was a little boy staring up at me, maybe seven years old. He laughed when I frowned at him

and pushed the door open with my palm.

“Who are you?”

“Aiden.” The kid ran away, toward Edward’s living room. I stood there, flabbergasted and confused

as hell.

I leaned against the door, clicking it closed with my back and quietly made my way toward where

the kid had run to. When I walked into their formal living room, Edward was sitting at the grand

piano, Aiden next to him, flipping through sheets of music.

“That’s her. Sexy, huh?” Edward pointed at me and the kid stuck his tongue out. “Yeah, you’re

right. Maybe not in that outfit, but she cleans up pretty good.”

I gave him my typical greeting. The finger.

“Uh, hello? There’s children around. Respect.” I sat down in an uncomfortable chaise thing that was

near the piano and watched the two of them. “I don’t remember where you were last time I saw

you,” Edward said to Aiden, handing him the stack of music.

“What exactly are you doing?” I asked Edward as he effortlessly played something on the piano

with one hand.

“Well, thanks to you, I had detention on Wednesday so Aiden missed his piano lesson. This is a

makeup.”

I frowned. “You give little kids piano lessons?”

“Yeah. Something wrong with that?”

I shook my head. I didn’t feel it was the time for a witty comeback.

“He’s really good, too.” Edward looked down at Aiden and sighed. “Alright, I don’t have all day

here so just pick something.”

The little kid handed a sheet to Edward, which he placed above the keys. Edward scooted over on

the bench and winked at me.

“Okay, go ahead.”

Edward was right. The kid was a little prodigy. I watched in envy as he played some complicated

piece, since I could barely play Twinkle-Twinkle Little Star. Suddenly the kid messed up and Edward

groaned.

“Look, watch my hands,” Edward directed.

I stared at Edward while he played, shocked by the way he interacted with this little boy. It was the

cutest thing I’d ever seen. Aiden started again and messed up at the same part.

“No, no. Here-” Edward grabbed his wrists and placed his fingers in the right place. “You go

there… then here. Come on, you know this.”

It was bizarre to me. Seeing this side of Edward that I’d never seen before. I always thought he was

just a manwhore, chauvinistic, cocky, uncaring little prick. But there was another side to him,

apparently. A side that gave me stuff on my birthday that he knew I wanted. A side that fixed my

car, since he knew my dad couldn’t do it. A side that gave little kids piano lessons on Wednesday

afternoons.

Damn it, Edward Cullen.

He was good.

I watched the entire hour long lesson, especially enjoying it when Edward would look up at me

every once and a while and wink or smirk or do his eyebrow thing. God, I wanted to toss that kid

out the front door and do Edward on top of his piano. If I wasn’t so weak from being hungover I

might’ve attempted it. Eventually, the kid’s mom rang the doorbell and Edward walked him outside

while I sat on the huge, twisting staircase and waited for him. He walked back inside and kicked off

his shoes before strutting up to me.

“Sorry. Esme makes me do it. Keeps her off my case, you know,” Edward explained, shoving his

hands in the pockets of his sweatpants and shrugging.

“Don’t say sorry. That was the most adorable friggen thing I’ve ever seen.”

He chuckled and hopped over me, skipping up the stairs quickly. I followed behind him to his room,

where I shut the door and took off my hoody. Edward’s room was flawlessly clean, just like the last

time I’d seen it. I put money on that he didn’t do it himself. He stuck his iPod into the iHome on his

nightstand before he pulled the edge of his quilt down and pointed to the bed.

“You wanted to nap. Go ahead.”

I stuck my bottom lip out and took a few steps toward him.

“You get in too.” I fiddled with his iPod, trying to pick out a song I liked. I settled on Playground

Love. It fit.

He complied, scooting onto the bed and moving away from the edge so there was enough room for

me next to him. Instead, I hopped in the bed and laid on my side, resting half my body on him. I put

my ear over his heart, and he stuck his hand in my hair, gently moving his fingers back and forth.

Even though we’d kissed before, this for some reason felt way more intimate. The room was quiet

except for our steady breathing and the low buzz of music coming from the speakers.

Sure, we’d had sleepovers before and we’d jokingly cuddled, but something about that moment was

different. It was like for once, Edward had turned off his stupid act and was actually being himself

around me. Not cocky or pretentious or trying to impress his friends. He was just being. I liked that

side of him.

I buried my face in his t-shirt, breathing in his glorious smell. And then I felt his fingertips graze the

skin between the hem of my shirt and the waistband of my pants, his fingers pulling my shirt up

slightly to reveal my new tattoo. That damn thing. It didn’t seem so bad though, as Edward traced

the letter with the tip of his index finger over and over. Especially since I knew he had my mark

underneath his t-shirt too.

“Does this mean we‘re stuck with each other now?” I whispered to him, my eyes fluttering closed

with each gentle movement of his fingers.

“Yep.”

I tried to fight the exhaustion, attempting to appreciate as much as I could of this Edward, because I

knew that it was only a matter of time before he went back to his usual self, but it only took me a

couple minutes to fall into a deep sleep.

8.Hooky

EPOV

Bella, Bella, Bella.

Fuck my life. How did it turn into this mockery?

I took a deep breath and mounted Ashley, my appropriate new pet name for the Ash tree outside

Bella’s window. I’d gotten more action from her than anywhere else lately. Ashley was fuckin’

frigid. Even though it was only October, the damn temperature had already dropped to below

freezing at night, and by the time I reached the window I was sure a few of my poor fingers needed

to be amputated.

When I slammed the window open, Bella was standing in front of her closet, her back to me,

wearing only jeans and a bra. There is a God, and he’s on my side.

“Hey,” I shouted, hopping through the window and chuckling. “Do a little spin for me.”

“Edward! What the hell!” Bella yanked at whatever shirt was hanging in front of her and covered

her chest with it before running over and slapping me in the side of the head.

“Sorry, Swan. I had to get here before you left.” Bella turned away from me and threw the shirt over

her head before turning back around. I got a nice view of my stamp on her, and it made my dick

twitch a little.

“What the hell are you doing?”

“We’re not going to school today,” I said, expecting some kind of enthusiasm. Everyone likes

skipping school, right?

Apparently not Mother Theresa, over here. She gave me a whatever look and started packing her

books up, ignoring me like I was friggen Bruce Willis in The Sixth Sense or something.

I poked myself in the face, sarcastically. “Uhh, hello, am I invisible?”

“Yeah, remember what happened last time you involved yourself in my attendance record? I got

two weeks detention and Charlie up my ass. He just got over it. Thanks but no thanks.”

“Oh, live a little,” I said as I dropped on her bed, rolling my eyes. “He didn’t ground you or

anything. Come on, you’re not going.”

I yanked her weird vegan hippie looking messenger bag shit from her shoulder and put it back on

the floor.

“Edward…” She trailed off as I worked my magic. I grabbed her hand and pulled her on my lap,

tapping my finger on her lips.

“In all seriousness- I neglected to do my Spanish oral presentation… or our Bio lab, so we’re not

going to school.”

She flared her nostrils, but before she could start her yapping I kissed her forehead and tapped her

ass lightly, making her stand up.

I saw her frown and the little wrinkle appeared in her forehead that she always got when she was

thinking hard about something. And then her face relaxed and she shrugged.

“Fine. What are we gonna do?”

“Chillax,” I answered as I skipped down her steps. “We’ll go to my house. We’re taking your sad

excuse for a car because Jasper dropped me off.”

“Jasper. Wait until I give that fucker a piece of my mind,” Bella muttered as she handed me her

keys.

“Stop being a biznatch. This is gonna be a great day.”

“Doubt it.”

Bitch was looking for a fist to the mouth.

We jumped into her SAV- shitty ass vehicle- and I turned the key. I looked at her, confused. “I don’t

think I can drive this thing. I can’t hear myself think.”

“Sorry pretty boy, it’s no Volvo. If you’re not manly enough, I can take over.” She tried sliding over,

but I gave her the stiff arm. I stepped on the gas a couple times before I put it in gear, making a

bunch of birds fly out of the trees and shit.

“I can’t believe you didn’t finish the lab. I should’ve known better than to trust an alcoholic.”

“Shut the hell up. I was lying. I did the lab and Jasper’s gonna drop it off with Banner and tell him

we have the Coxsackie virus or something.”

As I put the truck in fifth gear, I stomped on the gas as hard as I could. That thing wasn’t breaking

the sound barrier, that’s for sure.

“How do you even get anywhere in this thing?” I asked her. “Seriously, I think a guy in a walker

just passed us.”

“Please remove your foot from the gas pedal, ASAP. Big Red isn’t meant for speed.”

“What is it meant for then? Because it sure as hell isn’t looks or comfort… or smell. What is that?”

“I don’t know, mold? And uh, this was luxury in the 60s, okay? Your Volvo’s not gonna live this

long. Have some respect.”

I ignored her and kept my foot on the petal, pushing it further and further. 50… 52… 55… pop.

“Uh oh. That can’t be good.” I turned to look at Bella, who was already giving me her squinty

pissed off face. I got that look from her often. “Here, light this up.”

I reached into my pocket and handed her the joint I’d rolled in Jasper’s car. She took it from my

fingers and shook her head.

“We’re not smoking this in here.”

“Why not? It’ll only make this thing smell better.” For lack of a better argument I’m sure, Bella did

as I asked.

Luckily, we made it to my house without the truck spontaneously combusting. I now believe in

miracles. Pretty stoned from my kind-of-wake-and-bake, I got out of the car and looked at the sky,

confused as rain started pelting my head. Was it even raining when we were in the car? Who the

fuck knows.

I led Bella up the back stairs of the house to my balcony. She looked around in amazement, her eyes

red and hooded. She didn’t seem to mind that she was getting more and more soaked by the second.

“You have your own balcony? You spoiled little…” I didn’t hear the rest, since she was behind me

and her voice trailed off.

“Look-” When we reached the top of the stairs I spun her so she was looking over the railing,

toward the river. There was a huge flash of lighting, and it seemed like the bolt went right into the

water.

“Whoa. That’s trippy. Let’s go inside.”

She looked scared. I laughed and held the door open for her as she sloshed into my room, her

clothes dripping on my carpet.

“Don’t take another step. Esme will choke me in my sleep if the carpet gets ruined,” I warned her.

She rolled her eyes and walked further into my room, blatantly ignoring me.

I brushed her off and plugged my iPhone into the speakers, scrolling through it. “What do you want

to listen to?”

“My choice?”

“Yep.”

“Hmm.” She tapped her finger on her chin and looked at the ceiling. “In keeping with our

marijuanic activities, I say some 70’s era anything.”

“I agree.” I turned on some Zeppelin and I heard Bella chuckling. “What’s funny? And take your

wet clothes off, please. I‘ll give you something else to wear.”

I slipped out of my hoody and peeled my t-shirt off as she took a gander at the goods. Ha.

“I’m laughing at your ironic song choice. It describes my sentiment toward you pretty well.” I

frowned and listened to what song was on. Hey Hey What Can I Do. And then I gave her the finger

because I’m pretty sure she was calling me a prostitute.

“Here.” I walked up to Bella and handed her one of my old little league Henley’s. Why it was still

in my drawer, I have no idea. She grabbed it out of my hands and licked her lips, brushing her

fingers along her face to move a wet strand of hair that was stuck to it. I don’t know if was the

effect of the pot, or just my body’s reaction to Bella, but I stood there shirtless and stared at her for

a few seconds, just taking in all her hotness.

She must’ve noticed me staring because she started batting her eyelashes seductively, and that shit

drove me crazy. I scratched my head and looked down at the floor, trying to break away from her

witchcraft or whatever the hell she was doing to me. And then, when my head was still tilted down,

I saw a white ball of fabric drop to the ground.

Holy boner.

I looked up at her again, and she was topless except for the lacy white bra she was wearing and holy

fuck it was different then seeing her in a sports bra and she was gazing at me and I was just standing

there looking at her like I was in fucking 7th grade or something.

This wasn’t happening. I don’t get nervous around girls. Stupid weed was making my brain all

fucked up and slow.

“I’m not kissing you first.” She broke the silence. I felt like such a herb.

“Okay.” OKAY?! What the fuck, Cullen?! Man up!

Her face dropped, so I sucked it up and went in for the kill, before I did anymore irrevocable

damage. I stuck my finger under her chin and tilted her head up before I leaned over and… did it. I

kissed her. It was my fault this time, but in my defense, she practically asked for it. It was deeper

and more intense then the first time I’d kissed her in my bed. I let her sweet tongue into my mouth,

and I put my hand on the small of her back, pushing her body into me. She twisted her little fingers

into my hair, forcing her lips harder into mine.

I think it was the first time I actually stood there and reveled in making out instead of worrying

about how I was gonna get the girl to go down on me, or how I was gonna escape from her

bedroom without her dad catching me when I was done sleeping with her. I just stood there and held

Bella’s warm little body close to mine, and I kissed her over and over, and I listened to the rain

pattering against the glass doors mixed with her breathing, and I breathed in the scent of her skin

and her hair, and most importantly I thanked god for being so creative and coming up with pot

because I was pretty sure that was the only reason why she was kissing me right then.

*

BPOV

Edward still tasted minty. And his smell mixed with weed smelled like pine trees. He was the only

motherfucker in the world who could still smell amazing after smoking. I sighed into his mouth and

opened up my eyes for a second, wanting to enjoy every bit of what was happening.

Of course, it was my fault. I made him feel like he was a little bitch if he didn’t kiss me. And

kissing seemed to be within reasonable boundaries. After the last two times I’d kissed him nothing

had really changed, so I figured I might as well make the most of playing hooky. I’d already

smoked at 7:30 in the morning, so why not add to it with a little face sucking? Carpe Diem, right?

Ehhh, and then I realized, per usual, my plan sucked greatly. Because I wanted to do more than kiss

him, because as much as I tried to deny it, I liked Edward bastard Cullen, and I was standing there

practically topless and he was topless, and his body was amazing and my stomach was pressed up

against his abs and uhhhh. Edward. His big hand was on my back and he was pushing his hips into

me and it seemed like he wanted to do more, even though I’d technically forced him to kiss me, so I

unlocked the chastity belt. Kind of. I loosened it up, at least.

My brain was telling me to chill the fuck out and think logically. But my libido had way more

power over me than my brain. I took a few steps back until the back of my knees hit Edward’s

mattress, and I lowered myself onto the bed, careful not to break the kiss. I didn’t want to bitch out

and stop everything. Edward stayed standing and just bent over, placing both of his palms against

the bed on either side of me. His tongue was so hot, and wet and… soft. I swirled mine around his,

kissing him at a slow, gentle tempo.

When I felt his fingers hook under the waistband of my jeans, I leaned back a little, allowing him to

fiddle with the button on my fly. He got it open with ease. It didn’t surprise me at all. I had the

feeling he was the kind of guy who could pop people’s buttons open just by looking at them a

certain way. He pulled his lips away from mine for a second so he could slide my soggy jeans off. I

couldn’t help but stare as he lowered himself to the ground and pulled hesitantly at my pants,

making sure it was what I wanted. Did I want it? I didn’t know. His stupid bronze hair had

hypnotizing powers or something.

Edward kneeled next to my legs, looking like he was unsure of what to do next. His right eyebrow

was slightly raised, and his cheeks were red, and his hair was sticking up all sorts of ways from

when I had been pulling it. But he looked so beautiful. It was such a stupid word to describe a guy,

but nothing else could do him justice. He placed his one hand on my knee, wrapping his fingers

around it slowly and pulling my legs apart.

“Bella,” he whispered. “I don’t know…”

I sighed and tilted my head back, looking at the ceiling. “Me either.”

“So, what do you want-” He stopped talking when I reached out and put my hand over his, sliding it

up my leg.

Edward got up higher on his knees and moved between my legs. Slowly, he moved his lips down to

my leg and planted soft, wet, gentle kisses up the top of it until he reached the edge of my

underwear. He skipped over it and continued laying kisses up my stomach. He stopped when he got

to the bump of my tattoo and chuckled, his mouth not leaving my skin, before he kept going

upward. I felt his hand graze across my ribs and around my back, pausing when they got to the

clasp of my bra.

“Um, do you care…?”

I nodded, wondering if he was so cordial and careful with every girl he’d fooled around with. All

5,000 or whatever ridiculous number of them. As I felt the clasp come undone behind me, I slid my

bra off, dropping it on the bed next to me. Edward just kind of stood there and didn’t do anything.

“What’s wrong?” I asked him, getting slightly irritated. He shook his head and got onto the bed,

kneeling next to me.

“I don’t want to do anything if you don’t want to.”

Wow, how thoughtful. I rolled my eyes.

“I do. Just… hurry up before I change my mind.”

I grabbed his belt loop and pulled him over, so he was straddling my body. He gave me a look, and

it wasn’t really a smile, because only one side of my mouth turned up, but it was the sexiest fucking

thing I’d ever seen. He put both his hands on my boobs and watched himself touch them for a

minute before lowering his face to my chest and swirling his tongue around my nipple. He pushed

himself against me again and I groaned at the sensation. I needed to slow down or I was going to

fuck Edward and there was no good that could come of that.

But, once Edward got going he didn’t slow down. As he laid his palm flat against my stomach and

creeped it downward, my brain was screaming stop, stop, stop! And my traitor vagina was

screaming go, go, go… and it won the battle. Edward slid his hand under my underwear, painfully

slow, and pressed his hand up against me. I had to give the boy props. He had some serious skills.

Within 30 seconds he had me wriggling and ready to promise him my first born. His hands were

firm, and his fingers were so long, and he knew exactly what felt good and I was panting, begging

him for more.

I wanted him. Fuck my plan. Fuck Charlie. Fuck my dignity and my virtue. Fuck my stupid girly

emotions. My soul was already jaded, anyway. I wanted to fuck Edward. No, needed. I needed to

fuck Edward.

Somehow, through my sexual oblivion, I managed to find the button to Edward’s fly. I clawed away

at it and got frustrated, so I just tried tearing it off, yanking as hard as I could and moving his body

back and forth in the process. He laughed and grabbed my fingers with his free hand and by some

means- seriously, I have no idea- his fly popped open. I sat up, grinding myself farther into

Edward’s palm, and I started pulling at his zipper like the Holy Grail was under there or something.

Before I could reach inside, he grabbed my wrist and frowned.

“Bella, calm down,” he told me.

No. I didn’t want to calm down. I wanted to bone.

“No.” I jerked my hips and pushed myself against his hand, which he’d stopped moving.

“Come on. If you were any other girl, I’d have already fucked you senseless and thrown you out of

my house. But you’re not. You’re you. I can’t do that to you.”

He really knew how to sweet talk a girl.

I sat there, still kind of in a daze, trying to figure out what he was saying, and trying to get off by

rubbing myself against him because he wasn’t reciprocating. Finally, he started moving his fingers

again, but he didn’t let go of my wrist. I saw it through his fly, strained against his boxers, and I

swear my mouth was watering. I don’t know why, because dick doesn’t taste good, but for some

reason, his did that to me. I groaned and tried to pull my wrist out from his grasp.

“Please, Edward. I just want to touch it. You don’t have to fuck me.”

I felt real desperate and pathetic after hearing that sentence come out of my mouth. Mom and Dad

would be so proud.

He tilted his head back and laughed a little, but he let go of me. I wasted no time hopping on that. I

stuck my hand right into his boxers and I grabbed it and-

Oh. My. Fucking. God.

There were no words to explain. I let go of it to pull his boxers down so I could see it and, truth,

Edward’s penis was the most glorious sight I’d ever laid eyes on. It was like the scene from Pulp

Fiction with the suitcase. Edward looked down, and then at me, and then waved his hand in front of

my face.

“Hey.” He snapped his fingers and I gulped and nodded my head. Because that was all I could do.

And then he pulled a fast one on me and slid two of his long, delectable fingers inside me and I

moaned, and it felt so good, so I started moving my hand up and down, stroking him to the same

rhythm he was doing it to me. If it was a perfect world and things worked out the way I wanted, we

would’ve finished at the same time, but I was already near the edge when he was only rubbing me,

so I lost control in like, a minute, and I squeezed his fingers between my muscles and my back

arched and I think I may have cried a little. Whatever. Seeing me come definitely turned Edward on,

because he bit his lower lip and groaned and said my name like, “Beeeella” and I used both my

hands and started moving faster and suddenly he was looking around the room frantically,

confusing the shit out of me.

“What?”

“Where am I gonna go? These blankets are expensive.”

That sentence was a case in point of what happens when you raise your kid to be a materialistic son

of a bitch. Things like blankets seem important. Pffft.

I rolled my eyes and laid down, pulling him on top of me. “Just do it on me.”

So he did. It was gross, but in a sick, perverted way, I kind of liked it. Not to mention, if it was

physically possible, Edward’s orgasm face was even hotter than his regular face. I laid there and

stared at the top of his head as he hovered over me, catching his breath. After a few seconds, he

looked up at me and smirked.

“Aren’t you glad you didn’t go to school today?”

I giggled, because, yes. Hell yes.

Edward stood up, pulling up his boxers and leaving his pants in a crumpled ball at the foot of the

bed. And then the anal prick actually picked me up and carried me, baby-style into his bathroom. He

set me on the marble counter and turned the sink on, reaching up on a shelf for a washcloth.

“Ugh. Let’s be careful. My toothbrush is like 10 inches away from my baby batter and that just

screams trouble.”

If this was his attitude, I don’t know how he got laid so often. Then I figured he probably just didn’t

do it in his own room. And that made me feel kind of good. Just to make him loosen up a little, I

dipped my finger in it and licked it. He gave me a blank stare and I just shrugged.

“Not bad.”

Finally the doofus laughed, and he grabbed my head and kissed me roughly, because how couldn’t

he after that? Hah.

After my half-bath, we went back to Edward’s bedroom and I threw on the shirt he’d given me. It

was some t-shirt type thing that said Cullen on the back. Little did he know, he was never seeing

that sucker again. I threw it on and collected my clothes from around the room.

“What do you want to do now?” He asked me. He slid into a clean pair of jeans and when he tried
to put a new t-shirt on, I ripped it out of his hands and chucked it across the room. “What was that

for?”

“Don’t put it on. And it’s only… 8:30. Let’s have breakfast,” I suggested.

“I told you, I don’t cook.”

“I do. I’ll make whatever you want.” He thought about it and nodded. “Good. And you have to

show me where your washing machine is so I can put this in there,” I said, holding up my pile of

clothes.

“Fine. But you can’t wear pants until those are dry.”

“Okay. What if your parents come home?”

“They won’t,” He waved his hand nonchalantly and pulled me into the hallway. “The only person

we might see is Rosita. And she doesn’t speak any English, so she can’t tell me parents. It’s all

good.”

I frowned and stopped at the top of the stairs. “Rosita?”

“Yeah,” He looked up at me from the step he was standing on. “Come on. Weed and handjobs in the

morning make me hungry.”

I laughed and hopped down the stairs past him, squealing as he slapped my ass. Damn Edward.

9.Caught

EPOV

“Nice whale tail.” I yanked on Bella’s thong and let go, making it snap against her back.

“What the fuck, Edward?” She stuck her arms out and pushed me, almost making me fall out of my

damn seat. Apparently all my drinking and recreational drug use made my equilibrium turn to shit.

“Hey, Bella, did you talk to Angela?”

I heard Newton’s faggy voice behind me and my fists clenched. It was my body’s natural reaction to

him.

“No, why?” Bella asked, turning around.

“She was looking for you. I think she wanted you to drive up with her to Ben’s parents cabin next

weekend. For the party.”

Bella looked up and me and pursed her lips. “Are you going?”

“Everyone goes,” I told her, tapping my pen against the desk, trying to control my Newton

aggression.

“Oh,” She spun back around to that homo. “I’ll go with her. Tell her if you see her.”

“Alright, that’s enough, I think it’s time for class to start,” I said, interrupting their little powwow.

Bella rolled her eyes at me.

“You’re so jealous.”

Jealous? Hah! I think not, bitch.

Wait… maybe I was jealous. I don’t know.

I ignored her.

Ever since the infamous finger bang/hand job incident the day before, I hadn’t felt like myself.

Bitch was messing with my cerebral cortex. Yeah, it was pretty innocent compared to some of the

other acts I’d taken part in. Like giving Lauren Mallory an Angry Dragon, for example. But it was

Bella, and as lame and amateur as what we'd done was, I kind of liked it.

I wanted more.

So, I spent the better part of Biology letting her take the notes and sketching her a little picture of

something I came up with. Just before the bell rang I slid it over to her. She looked at it and

crumpled it in a ball like it was a piece of tin foil and not one of my masterpieces, and she handed it

back to me, her cheeks red.

“What?” I asked. “Let’s go home, it looks like fun.”

“Yeah, for you,” She whispered, not looking at me.

“Uh,” I flattened out the drawing and pointed at it. “Actually, it’s all about you. Come on, fantasy

Bella looks like she’s having a good time.”

“Yeah, well, I’m real Bella and I’m not taking part in this sick shit your perv brain comes up with.

You and your hand and your shower can have a nice afternoon together.”

I wasn’t diggin her cunt-like attitude, so I walked out and left her stranded there with Newton. And

then I decided to teach her a little lesson, so Jasper & I waited by my car with used up Jessica and

when I saw Bella walking through the parking lot I turned my flirt on. It was forced and if Jessica’s

brain comprehended more than who’s scrotum was next to lick, she would’ve walked away instead

of giggling. Bella sneered at me and slammed her car door, making rusty little paint chips fall

everywhere. I knew where she was heading. I kicked Stanley to the curb and bizzounced to my

house.

When I pulled into the driveway, she was already waiting there. I walked over to her door, pulling it

open and sticking out my hand to help her out. She gave me a dirty look and got out on her own.

“Why the attitude?” I asked as we walked into the foyer.

“I thought you didn’t like Jessica.”

“I don’t. But I’m a 17-year-old guy with sexual urges that need fulfilling and she’s willing. You’re

not.”

“Yeah, here’s a quarter, call someone who cares,” she said, chucking something at my face. It hit me

in the eye. I looked down at the floor.

“Uhh… oww. And that’s not even a quarter. It’s a penny.”

“It’s all I had.”

I tried really hard, I swear, but I couldn’t help but laugh at her.

Bella broke and laughed too.

“Fine, you win. I’ll do it… nympho.”

Ahhhh. Today was gonna be a great day. Note to self: use Jessica Stanley as a bargaining tactic.

She wasted no time hauling ass up to my room. I took my time, pouring myself a stiff one before I

headed up there. Bella was standing by my bed, looking around the room, confused.

“What?”

“I don’t know what to do,” She said, dropping her jacket on the ground.

“Here-” I put my glass on my nightstand and dragged my desk chair over so it was a couple feet

from my bed. “That’s your seat.”

Before getting started, I wanted to give her a little warm up, so I put my hand on her cheek and gave

her some tongue action. I was getting turned on just from her little mmm’s and ummpf’s, so I had to

pull back before we had a replay of the day before. I needed to save it for what was about to

happen.

Bella sat down on the chair and raised her eyebrows. “Sorry in advance. Because I’m gonna suck at

this. Hard.”

“Not possible.” I tapped my chin, deep in thought. “I know what’ll make this more comfortable. I’ll

make you a Ruffitini.”

“Forget it, I’m leaving.” She got up from the chair and headed toward the door.

“I’m joking! Seriously, come here.” I ruffled around my closet for what I was looking for. “Here.

Herbie the Love Bong.”

I wasn’t about to tell Bella, but Herbie got his name from the amazing powers he had over women.

Whenever a girl started acting up, I pulled Herbie out and she’d be ready to go. Today was no

different. A couple of hits and Bella was back to yesterday’s mindset.

“Edward, this is weird,” She groaned, dropping down on the chair and pulling off her shirt. I’m

pretty sure a choir of angels started singing. I kneeled between her legs and shook my head.

“No, it’s not. It’s hot.”

I reached up and undid the button on her jeans before yanking the zipper down. Then, I sat on the

edge of my bed, facing her, and rested my elbows on my knees so I had somewhere to put my head.

“Wait. Let me put music on.” She grabbed my iPod and put on some Hendrix before returning to

her seat. I watched as she took a deep breath and cracked her neck. “Okay. Should I take my pants

off?”

“No. Just in case Esme comes home.” I put my hand over my mouth and said the second part really

fast.

“What?”

“Nothing. Onward,” I instructed her.

It was the most amazing fucking display I’d ever witnessed. Porn did real women no justice. Bella

batted her eyelashes and looked at me as she slowly slid her hand down her stomach and under her

underwear. I couldn’t help but lick my lips. She giggled and looked down, probably wondering how

the fuck she got in that predicament. In my defense, I didn’t think she’d actually do it and I was

planning on having to do some hardcore convincing. Like buying her gifts and shit. She was now

my favorite person ever.

I watched her get more and more comfortable, her hand moving up and down in her jeans as she

leaned her head back and moaned, biting her bottom lip. I suddenly got the gist of why wet dreams

happened, because I was about to blow a load right then. Without anyone even touching me. Or me

touching myself. Her bra strap slipped off her shoulder, making it fall down on the one side low

enough for me to catch a glimpse of her nipple. I wanted to reach out and grab it, but I kept my head

on my hand so I wouldn’t be tempted.

She raised an eyebrow at me and started talking, her hand still moving. “Are you enjoying this?”

“Fuck yeah. Lean forward,” I told her, scooting my ass to the edge of the bed to get closer to her.
She did what I said, her hair falling in front of her shoulders. So. Fuckin. Sexy. I raked my hands

through my hair, the only thing that helped me to control the sexual tension.

“Mmmm. Edward,” She moaned, winking at me. Somehow I got the feeling the girl knew what she

was doing.

And then, I almost fucking strangled Jasper.

“Whoa!” He said as he opened my door, witnessing our little rendezvous. Bella gasped and jumped

out of the chair, grabbing her shirt from the ground. “No, no, don’t stop this debauchery for me.”

“Fucking get out!” I yelled, pushing him toward the door. “Bella, sit down. We can finish.”

“No thanks, the mood’s gone. Along with my pride,” she muttered, throwing her shirt over her head.

“God, I’m never gonna be able to listen to Jimi again without this coming to mind,” Jasper said.

“This is amazing. I mean, I didn‘t even know you guys kissed and then I see this. Amazing.” He

shook his head.

“Yeah, we’ve kissed, dick,” I muttered, still trying to shove him out the door.

“With tongue?”

“Oh, my god,” Bella mumbled, putting her hand on her forehead in embarrassment.

“Were you smoking in here? It smells like it. That and vaj…” Jasper trailed off, spraying a can of

Febreeze that was on my dresser. “Yo, you’re lucky I caught you. Your mom’s coming up with your

laundry,” He said, pointing into the hallway.

“Just… leave,” I sighed, too pissed and full of blue balls to say anything else.

“Yeah, thanks for the hospitality, bitch. I forgot to give this to you,” he said, pulling an envelope

from his pocket and dropping it on my dresser before he slammed the door shut.

I rolled my eyes and sat back down on my bed, patting the space next to me for Bella. She sat down

and put her face in her hands, laughing.

“That was ridiculous,” she said through the spaces of her fingers. I nodded.

“Sorry. Wasn’t well thought out. I should’ve locked the door.” Then I thought of something and I

poked her arm. “Have you done that for someone before?”

“No,” she said, shocked. “Why?”

“That was sexy. Don’t do it for anyone else.”

“Whatever. Then you can’t watch anyone else do it.”

“Fine.” I nodded.

I think we both caught the double implication in the sentence.

*

BPOV

I was completely fucked. I realized it when I was sitting in Spanish, not paying any attention to the
lecture about the upcoming test we had, and just staring at stupid Edward. Fuck. His thick hair was

messier than usual, and he hadn’t shaved today so his stubble was exactly the way I liked it and

every so often he’d reach down the back of his collar and scratch his neck and I’d see the little

birthmarks. Ugh. It was a personal struggle to resist writing I heart Edward on my notebook.

I’d been obsessing over him for two days. So much so, that I voluntarily jacked off in front him

without much begging on his part. It was shameful. Speaking of which, Jasper kept turning around

in his seat and looking at me and then laughing. I planned on slashing his tires before the day was

over.

Seriously, though, shit was looking grim. I wanted Edward. I didn’t just want to fuck him, I wanted

him to be mine, but the chances of that happening were about the same as me sprouting wings and

flying to Bora Bora, so I was weighing my options. I could try to stay away from him and hope that

eventually these annoying feelings would disappear and I wouldn’t want to snap Jessica or Lauren

or anyone else of the female population’s necks any time they went within a three foot radius of

him. Or I could just tease him and fool around with him and wrap him around my finger enough so

he wasn’t interested in anyone else and I could enjoy myself for the time being and not get so

involved that I’d end up getting irreversibly hurt.

Option two involved Edward’s crotch so it came out the clear winner. As long as I held the upper

hand, it seemed like smooth sailing.

When the bell rang, Edward flew from the classroom as I packed up my stuff. He was outside in the

hallway, leaning against the wall, his one book in hand and looking like sex on legs. And then that

slut Jessica walked over and poked his chest and I knew she was trying to be cute and flirty but she

just looked pathetic.

“You can ride up with me if you want? I know you like drinking before you go places,” I heard her

begging, talking too close to his face, per usual. I wanted to palm her forehead and show her the

proper distance to use when talking to people.

I walked by, shamelessly eavesdropping on their conversation, my nostrils flaring, and Edward

grabbed my sleeve.

“Oh, hey Bella,” Jessica said monotonously.

“Hi.” I turned to Edward and squinted my eyes. “What?”

He draped his arm over my shoulder and started walking before he looked back at Jessica. “I’ll let

you know later.”

“You’re not going with her,” I said when she was out of earshot.

“I don’t need you telling me what to do, thanks.” Wow, shocker. He was back to Doucheward.

“Fine, then I’ll just go with Mike,” I snapped.

“Not if I run him over with the Volvo, you won’t.”

“Okay, hardass.”

When we got to my classroom I was already irritated with him, so I tried ducking under his arm but

he held onto my shoulder. When he thought no one was looking, he leaned over and put his mouth

right by my ear.

“Can I come over later?”

Without giving me a chance to answer, he moved my hair and planted a kiss on my neck, right

below my ear.

That shrewd little prick.

I gulped because that was all my body could do. “Yeah.”

“Okay.” He straightened out and smirked. “I have a piano lesson, and I’ll be over after that. See you

later,” he said, slapping my ass with his book as he walked away.

*

“Charlie, we need a confab,” I said, taking a bite of dinner, which I’d cooked. I was trying to butter

him up.

“What?” He looked up at me, clearly expecting the worst.

“I’m not having a baby or anything, my god. Take that look off your face.” He looked at me

suspiciously, then looked down at his food. “So, anyway, you know how you’re always telling me

to get different friends that aren’t Edward Cullen?”

“Yep.”

“Well, this guy Ben, that Angela likes… his parents have a cabin like… two hours away or

something, and he has a Halloween party there every year, so-”

“No.”

“You didn’t even let me finish.” He took a sip of his beer and rolled his eyes. “Anyway, Angela

wants me to drive up with her. And she doesn’t drink or anything so we’re probably going to come

back later that night and sleep at her house. So can I go?”

Normally, I wouldn’t ask Charlie for shit like this, because it was way easier to just lie and say I

was sleeping at Alice’s or Rosalie’s. But, even I noticed that I was exhausting that lie and it was

barely believable. Plus, I figured if I was honest with Charlie about where I was going to be, he

wouldn’t suspect me of lying other times. I was working the reverse psychology angle.

“No.”

“Fine, then. All my friends are going, so I’ll just hang out with Edward since there’ll be nothing else

to do.”

Charlie cleared his throat and sighed.

“Fine, Bella. Go.”

Ha! That was too easy.

“Thanks, Daddy,” I said, kissing him on the cheek. “Are you done?”

After clearing the table and doing the dishes, I ran upstairs to the bathroom to brush my teeth.

Needless to say, when I walked into my room Edward was already waiting. He was sitting on my

bed, his legs stretched out straight and crossed at the ankles, playing with the laptop. It had started

raining and his hair was a little wet and there was one piece that was hanging over his forehead,

almost in his eye. I wanted to lick it.

“Take your shoes off,” I reprimanded him.

He didn’t even look up from whatever he was watching on the computer. “You take them off,” he

muttered.

I undid the laces on his stupid red high-tops, that I secretly loved even though I made fun of them

24/7, and dropped them on the floor by my bed. I picked up the laptop and snapped it shut before

climbing into the bed next to him.

“How was the lesson?” I asked, trying to make conversation. Ever since our first little episode, I felt

awkward being around him when we were alone.

“Fine,” Edward said, grabbing my cheek. He wasted no time.

Somehow, before his lips even pressed against mine, his tongue was circling my mouth. I breathed

in deeply, sucking in his warm, sweet breath. My fingers found their way up the back of his neck

and into his sloppy hair, and I fisted a handful of it, enjoying the moan that he made whenever I

pulled it hard. His one hand was still on my face, and the other one was on my side near my

stomach, squeezing my skin. Suddenly, he grabbed me around the waist with both hands and pulled

me onto his lap, to straddle him. He gave me the half-smile and then moved straight to my neck,

making a trail of kisses down it. I felt him hard underneath me, so I did the only logical thing-

grinded myself into him, to see what kind of reaction I’d get.

“Mmmmmm,” he moaned into my shoulder.

When I heard that sexy ass moan, I swear I almost got naked and onto all fours right then. And then

I remembered what I was supposed to be doing.

Resist, Bella.

Resist.

I was supposed to be resisting Edward. Or at least not fucking him. As much as I wanted to, I

couldn’t let it get that far. I needed to think. I pulled away from him and pushed his shoulders

against the wall so he was looking at me.

“Edward, I think we should slow down a little.”

“Why?” He asked, wriggling his hips and shoving himself against me gently. My breath caught in

my throat and I let out a repressed sigh.

“Because I don’t trust you.”

“Well, you should,” he said, grabbing my waist again and pulling my chest against his. He

strategically put his lips near the corner of my jaw and talked into my skin. “I like you.”

Damn Edward and his sex voice. And damn my weak willpower. I hopped off his lap and slid to the

other side of my bed, leaving him there looking all flabbergasted and frustrated and… sexy. Uhhh.

“Stop saying stuff like that to me.”

He laughed. “Why?”

“Because, it’s not true and you’re just trying to get me to fuck you and I’m not going to so… stop.

You’re messing with my head.”

Edward sighed and slid next to me, making sure not to touch me. He turned his head toward me and

did his little smirk thing and he looked at me with those friggen eyes and my insides turned to jelly.

I don’t know how he did that to me every time.

“It is true. And you don’t have to have sex with me. But to be fair, you’re the one who always starts

everything.”

“Yeah, I know,” I muttered, knowing he was right. “But that’s because I really do like you. And

because you’re fucking hot.”

Edward laughed and winked at me. “Well I really like you too.”

I felt like I was in kindergarten with all the talk about “liking” each other. How much lamer could it

get? But then I remembered that I was dealing with Edward, and with someone like him it was

necessary to work my way up from the bottom. I was grateful to even get that much out of him,

because I’m pretty sure he’d never said that to any of the other hookers.

“So what should we do?” I asked.

Edward shrugged. “I don’t know. You wanna elope?”

I giggled and squealed as he rolled over, on top of me. He was holding himself up with his arms,

just looking down at me, completely still. And his mouth was right there in front of me, so I craned

my neck and stuck out my tongue, letting the tip graze against his lip. No matter how many times I

kissed him, I knew his taste would never get old to me. As he opened his mouth, I took a deep

breath, sucking in his hot, minty flavor.

I put both my hands on the side of his face, pulling it hard into mine. I felt his stubble under my

palms, and I moved my hands up, resting my fingertips on his cheekbones, the edge of my palm

almost touching the corner of his mouth so I could feel every times his lips moved to kiss me, and I

was happy. Even though I knew that the more I let Edward in, the better chance I had of getting

hurt, I didn’t care. Because right then, just lying there in my bed, kissing him, it was worth it.

*

EPOV

“Edward, I want to do more.”

Bella groaned and bit her bottom lip, tugging at a handful of my hair as hard as she could. It felt

fucking good. I guess the six days straight of second base was getting to her too.

“Like what?” I asked her, pushing my two fingers harder into her as she squirmed with delight.

“Well, not sex. But maybe I could…” She trailed off, sticking her tongue down my throat, filling

my mouth with her sweet taste. And whiskey.

And then I felt bad.

She was wasted, and that was the only reason she was suggesting anything more. Any time over the

past couple of days that I’d tried, she’d refused. I didn’t want to take advantage of her. I felt like shit

all day so I hadn’t drank for the first time in like, 10 years on a Saturday night, so fucking around

with her when I was sober and knew better felt wrong.

I slammed my head against Alice’s headboard, pissed off at myself for being such a pansy little emo

bitch. I was putting all males to shame. Who wouldn’t take advantage of some twisted bitch who

was begging to suck you off? Only a pussy. That was what I was becoming.

I rolled off the bed and sighed, zippering my fly as she gave me a weird look. A look that said

“What the hell are you doing, queer? Let me blow you.”

I needed to think.

“Come on, let’s leave,” I told her, walking across Alice’s room. I heard muffled laughter and music

coming from downstairs.

“What? Where are you going? I’m sleeping here!”

She stood up from the bed and took way too long stumbling around and trying to stick her legs back

into her jeans. Girlfriend was tanked. I watched as she struggled to put her shirt back on, afraid that

I was gonna leave without her. Well, my shirt. Bella had adopted my baseball Henley that I’d given

her earlier in the week. It looked better on her, anyway. Anything looked better with boobs.

“Grab your bag. You can sleep at my house.”

Bella picked her purse up from Alice’s floor and tripped twice before she finally made it into the

hallway. This was gonna be a long fucking night.

We said bye to everyone downstairs and started making our way out. I waited outside my car, since

Bella and Alice were drunkenly talking about some stupid shit on her front steps. It gave me time to

cool off and think about what the fuck I was doing to this girl. I got so wrapped up in what I was

thinking about, I didn’t even realize Bella had slipped and fallen onto the floor until I heard Alice’s

screeching.

“Edward!”

I bolted over to her, where she was sitting on the ground holding her head, her hand covered in

blood. Fuck me.

“Go get a towel, Edward! Hurry!” Alice pushed me toward the house and I ran to the bathroom,

grabbing some fancy shit that I knew Alice’s parents were gonna flip about us ruining, because that

was all that was in there. I ran back outside and pushed Alice out of the way, holding the towel to

Bella’s head.

“Edward, those towels are from France. My mom-”

“Shut the fuck up, Alice!” I kneeled in front of Bella, putting my finger under her chin. “Are you

okay?”

“Yeah, it hurts. Why’s it bleeding so much?”

“Because you’re drunk.” I helped her up and started pulling her toward my car. “Alice, come on.

You have to hold this while I drive.”

I don’t know what I was thinking, asking the drunk little gnome to come along like that was gonna

help or something, but I figured it’d do some damage control if Charlie found out about this.

Being in the emergency room wasn’t my idea of an ideal Saturday night. At all. I called Carlisle as

soon as we pulled up, knowing he’d still be at the hospital. As soon as we walked inside, the nurse

whisked Bella behind a curtain while we sat and waited.

“Edward, tell them not to call my Dad,” Bella said anxiously. Alice’s hand took over putting

pressure on Bella’s head as I nodded and walked to the front desk.

“Hey,” I leaned on the counter and winked at the young secretary behind the desk. She smiled at

me. I think I’d hit on her before once when I came to see Carlisle. “Do me a favor and don’t alert

Chief Swan about this. Bella’s fine, it’ll just make him nervous.”

“They already called him,” she said, crinkling her nose. “Sorry.”

I squinted at her and knocked over her pencil cup before going back to Bella.

“Yeah, your Dad’s on his way. And I know we’re already in a hospital and everything, so that’s kind

of a blessing, but maybe I should go.”

Bella rolled her eyes and shook her head, grabbing my hand.

“No.”

Carlisle finally got there and gave me a death glare. Like it was my fault or something the bitch was

clumsy. I didn’t leave when Charlie got there, because I figured there wasn’t a big chance he’d

throw me to the ground and give me the people’s elbow with my dad standing right there.

I should’ve ran for Canada, but I didn’t foresee all the fuckery that was about to take place.

Charlie looked at the blood soaked towel in my hand and sneered at me.

“What the hell’d you do?” He asked Bella, not amused at all. “And what are you wearing?” He

glared at the back of her shirt, where Cullen was written across it.

“I fell. What, is falling a crime? Why’d you even come here? I’m a big girl, I can handle this.”

Bad move on Bella’s part. Charlie sniffed and moved closer to her face.

“Are you drunk?” He asked her.

“Who cares? It’s Saturday. I was out with my friends.”

I sighed and put my hand on my forehead, because, dammit, nothing good ever comes of admitting

you’re drunk to your parents. Deny, deny, deny, always.

I got up from the chair I was sitting in to let Charlie sit down. And that was when all hell broke

loose.

“Bella?” He said, squinting at something. “What’s that?”

“What?” She said, sitting up straight.

Fuck. Shit. Stop the presses. Hold the phone. Shit is done.

Charlie yanked the side of her shirt up and Bella gasped, trying to slap his hand away.

“Stop!”

“What is that?!” Charlie was screaming.

“Oww, my head really hurts. Dr. Cullen, can you-”

“BELLA! What the hell is that?” Charlie wasn’t buying it. Nice attempt by Bella, but it didn’t work.

She spun around to him and frowned. “It’s a tattoo. And I’m 18, so there’s nothing you can do, so

just… stop yelling. You’re scaring the other patients.”

Charlie was breathing heavy, his face was all scary and pink, and just as I was about to run the fuck

out of there, I heard him say something else.

“Is that… an E?”

I saw my life flash before my eyes.

“Uh… bye Bella, Dad I’ll see you at home-”

I tried running out but Charlie caught the back of my jacket. Carlisle just stood there, shaking his

head at me.

“Edward, did you have something to do with this?” Carlisle asked me.

I couldn’t talk. I was too scared by the look Charlie was giving me. It was the, “I’ll see you at your

funeral” look.

“No, he didn’t. It was all my idea. It stands for… excellent.” Bella laughed, trying to break the

tension, but only Alice giggled.

Charlie was pacing back and forth, probably trying to figure out which method he was going to use

to end my life. Gun? Knife? Baseball bat?

“We’ll talk about this at home, Bella.”

Bella was in deep doodoo. I saw some severe punishment in her future.

By this point, Carlisle was already stitching up her head, so she just winced and said nothing.

“Edward, I think you can go,” Carlisle said to me without looking up. “Bring Alice home and then

go straight home, please.”

"No, stay with me!" Bella shouted.

"Go, Edward." Charlie said.

“Fine, bye Edward. Thanks for taking care of me,” Bella mumbled, winking and giving me a wave.

I grabbed Alice’s arm and booked it the hell out of there, not looking back.

10.Grounded

EPOV

“Do you think Bella’s gonna get in a lot of trouble?” Alice asked as I pulled into her driveway.

“Fuckin A! What kind of a stupid question is that?” I asked. “Did you see Charlie’s face?”

We got out of the car and dragged ass into Alice’s house. There was still shouting and loud music

and those three drunk fucktards didn’t even realize we’d left. Jasper was on the floor laughing like a

fucking hyena at something I’m sure wasn’t funny and Rose and Emmett were trying to balance a

shot on top of two beer bottles. Now, if that shit fell and went through Alice’s glass table- that

would be funny.

“Where’s Bella? We need six people to play this game me and Jasper just made up-”

“She’s home,” I answered Emmett, taking off my hat and scratching my head.

“Why? What’d you do?” Rosalie asked, still concentrating on the shot glass. What the fuck were

they doing?

“Maybe we can play with four people,” Jasper said, not paying attention.

“I didn’t do anything. She fucking fell outside and busted her head open and me and this hobbit had

to bring her to the hospital.”

“Yeah, where her dad saw her Edward tattoo,” Alice added, giggling like that shit wasn’t going to

fuck my life up.

Rosalie, Emmett and Jasper all looked at me with that “Oooo” face. I sighed and looked up at the

ceiling.

“This is what happens when I don’t drink! It’s a bad omen. Seriously, I don’t care how shitty I feel,

if I’m dying of liver cirrhosis I’m still drinking every weekend from now on.”

“Was Carlisle there?” Rosalie asked, giving up on whatever she was doing and throwing back the

shot.

“Yeah. Fuck yeah. He’s gonna kill me. He’s gonna take away my Amex. No, my car! Fuck, he’s

gonna take away my car. I might as well just swallow some arsenic. Anyone have any?”

I tossed my keys from hand to hand, contemplating how I was gonna lie to Carlisle and tell him I

had nothing to do with that stupid tattoo. I had everything to do with that stupid tattoo. Fuck my

life.

“Pshh, try and get out of that shit. I’m not driving your ass around until Carlisle cools off.

Remember how long it took him to get over when you got arrested for banging-”

“Shut up, I remember.” I cut Jasper off and shook my head. “I’m going home. What are the chances

there’ll be a ten car pileup and Carlisle won’t be able to leave the hospital?”

“Uhh… slim,” Emmett answered, chuckling.

“I hate you all. Bye.”

I somberly made my way back to my car, because I knew that even if Carlisle didn’t fuck me with

whatever punishment he was cooking up, Bella was gonna be grounded. Beyond grounded. And I

was getting kind of used to the nice, six days straight of getting off without doing it myself, even if I

was only getting jerked like I was in fuckin 8th grade. Besides, tonight she made it pretty clear that

if we kept it up we’d be moving past second base soon.

I got home and instead of hiding in my room, I looked around for my mom. I figured I’d face

Carlisle like a man. I grabbed an apple off the counter and sat next to Esme at the kitchen table,

waiting for the douche to get home. She looked up from the bills she was doing and raised an

eyebrow.

“It’s not even midnight. Why are you home?”

“Shhh, I had a rough night. Let’s just sit here in silence.” I took a bite of the apple as she shook her

head.

“What’d you do?”

“Oh, you’ll see.”

Like it was a movie or something, at that moment the door slammed shut and Carlisle’s voice

ricocheted throughout the house.

“Edward!”

Esme glared at me, and I swear she was trying not to laugh. That whore.

“He’s in here!” She smirked and I held my fist up at her. If she wasn’t my mother, I swear…

Carlisle waltzed in and threw his jacket over the back of one of the chairs, staring down at me.

“Take your shirt off.”

“Huh?”

Bella. Someone was getting judo chopped the next time I saw them.

“What are you talking about?” Esme asked Carlisle.

“Oh, why don’t you ask your son? Edward, give your mother a play-by-play as you show her your

new ink.”

I bit my tongue, trying to force back a laugh, and I stood up, pulling up the side of my shirt enough

to give Esme a flash of my stamp. She gasped and Carlisle closed his eyes, exhaling loudly through

his clenched teeth.

“What the hell were you thinking?!” Carlisle shouted, his voice bellowing across the kitchen. Yikes.

I shrugged. “I don’t know. I wasn’t thinking.”

“And the police chief’s daughter, Edward? Come on! Where’s your common sense?”

Uh, it got lost somewhere between Forks and Port Angeles when I was 16 drinks deep.

“I don’t know,” I sighed, sitting back down in the chair. Esme just stared at me, shocked.

“How’d you get a tattoo? You’re only 17-”

“Mom, does it matter? I did it, so go ahead, yell, scream, take away my freedom, whatever.”

I waved my hand at Carlisle and he slammed his hands down on the table, making Esme’s papers

hop. I had to fight not to laugh at that, too.

“This isn’t funny, Edward. Give me your keys.”

“Come on! You’re exaggerating. It’s not even a big deal.”

“What’s not a big deal? The fact my son is the town troublemaker and is taking the police chief‘s

daughter along for the ride? Or that he has no respect for anyone? Or, that him and his friends are

alcoholics- is that not a big deal?” Carlisle was going on and on, so I reluctantly slid my keys across

the table to silence his yapping.

“I’m not an alcoholic. I’m not drunk right now.”

“Wow. Congratulations.” He snatched the keys off the table and squinted his eyes at me, before

stomping out of the room and slamming the door to his office.

What a prick.

“Hmm. That was fun.” I stood up and stretched my arms over my head, yawning. “Night, mom.” I

kissed the top of her head, but she was still sitting there, frozen. I guess the tattoo shocked her a

little.

I skipped up to my room, slamming the door behind me and dropping down onto my bed. Yanking

my phone out of my pocket, I called Bella, ready to rip her a new one for ratting on me. It rang and

rang, with no answer. She must’ve still been getting it from the Chief. I left her a nice, friendly

voicemail.

“Yeah, hey Judas. Guess who? That’s right, it’s Edward, the person you backstabbed. I hope you get

grounded, and you get bored, and you cry because you’re so bored, because guess what? Thanks to

you, Carlisle took my car away, so now I have no way to come see you. Bitch. And I hope your

head hurts.”

I hung up and threw my phone across the room.

BPOV

I sat at the kitchen table, my head drooping as Charlie yelled. And yelled. And yelled.

I grabbed the glass of water in front of me and threw back the Tylenol, my head pounding.

“I’ve been too lenient. I mean, I thought your mother was exaggerating a little, but she was

completely right! You don’t listen.”

I winced as Charlie’s voice raised. He was pacing back and forth across the length of the kitchen,

still wearing his stupid police jacket. It was making me dizzy. Between the drinking and the blood

loss and the head trauma and the pacing… I was ready to fall off the chair.

“Needless to say, you’re grounded. And don’t ask how long, because I don’t know. Until I feel like

you learned your lesson. Which knowing you, will be 8 months!”

“Ughhhh.” I leaned my head back and looked up at the ceiling, just wanting him to shut the fuck up

already so I could go to bed.

“You’re not to leave this house. You’re to go to school, and come home, and that’s IT. Oh, and when

I say go to school, I mean drive your own car to and from school. That means no Edward or Jasper

coming to pick you up in the morning. No visitors here, either. And you’re not going to the party

next weekend.”

I was fuming. What the hell did I do wrong? Fall? And get a tattoo when I’m of legal age? Ohhh,

lock me up.

“Charlie, you’re being fucking ridiculous.”

That did it. He swiped his arm across the table, making the glass fly and shatter against the cabinet.

I jumped at the noise and got out of my chair.

“Bella, you curse again, or you disobey me, and I swear, forget boarding school, I’ll send you to

live with my aunt on her farm in Kentucky! You think it’s bad here, you just wait! You'll be milking

cows at five in the morning!”

“Fine. FINE. I’m going to bed. I don’t like you anymore, Charlie.” I shoved by him, trying to get to

my phone that I heard ringing from upstairs.

“The feeling is mutual! And it’s DAD!” He shouted, before I slammed the door. Dick. Renee

seemed like Glenda the Good Witch compared to Charlie right now.

I sighed and looked at my phone. Edward. I’m sure he had a word or two for me, since I

accidentally spilled about him getting the tattoo also. Charlie was pissing me off, and it just flew

out. He said something retarded about me feeling stupid when I get married and my husband sees I

have another guy’s initial tattooed on me. And I said “Yeah, well so will Edward” or something

along those lines. I have no excuse. I was drunk. Actually, I still was drunk. Anyway, Carlisle’s ears

turned red, so I think that was a bad sign for Edward.

I listened to the voicemail Edward left before I called him back.

“Yeah, hey Judas. Guess who? That’s right, it’s Edward, the person you backstabbed. I hope you get

grounded, and you get bored, and you cry because you’re so bored, because guess what? Thanks to

you, Carlisle took my car away, so now I have no way to come see you. Bitch. And I hope your head

hurts.”

Psshhhhh.

That was rude. I tried calling back, but he didn’t answer. I wasn’t really expecting him to. I left him

a voicemail back. Cell phones blow.

“Hi. It’s Bella. Um, so yeah, sorry for telling on you. It was an accident. And if it makes you feel

any better, I’m grounded until like… 2013. I’m going to sleep, but please please please come sneak

in here tomorrow. Ask Jasper to drive you. I’m not allowed to leave my house so I’ll be here all day.

Okay, goodnight.”

*

My head was pounding. I groaned and pulled the pillow over my head without opening my eyes. I

swore I could feel the slight heat from the sun coming through the window, which was odd.

Suddenly, I jumped when I heard the distinct clicking of a keyboard next to me.

“What time is it?” I asked Edward, rolling over.

He shrugged, not moving his eyes from the screen of my laptop. “12:30.”

“Holy shit.” I sat up, rubbing my eyes. “Are you watching porn?”

“I was bored,” he said, reaching onto my nightstand to grab something. “Extra strength Tylenol…

or a banana?”

I grabbed the Tylenol from his palm and threw them in my mouth, swallowing them without water.

He frowned and went back to his XXX watching.

“You need a hairbrush,” he pointed out. “And a shower.”

I patted the top of my head and yawned.

“Is my dad here?”

“I don’t think so. Cruiser wasn’t in the driveway.”

“I thought you were mad at me for ratting,” I reminded him.

“Yeah, I got over it.”

I crawled over him and made my way to my dresser, yanking out a bunch of clothes. I was still

wearing Edward’s shirt and my jeans from last night. When I stood up, I got a dejabrew of

everything that’d happened the night before and I frowned.

“How’d you get here?”

“Emmett dropped me off on his way to football practice.”

I nodded and walked over to my door, feeling like I was gonna hurl.

“I’ll be back.”

I closed the door behind me, hauling myself to the bathroom the best I could.

Washing my hair was a bitch. The shampoo burned the stitches so much that I almost screamed. It

made my headache worse. I was feeling too shitty to do anything to myself, so I just threw on my

sweats, sans underwear which I’d forgotten to grab, brushed my wet hair, and walked back to my

room. When I got inside, Edward was under my covers, the sheets pulled over his head. I could hear

his steady breathing across the room.

I shivered and got into bed next to him as smoothly as I could, trying not to wake him up. I rolled

over so I was facing him and shimmied up to him as close as I could, pressing my body against his.

Leaning into his chest, I took a deep breath, Edward’s delicious smell soothing my headache a little.

Suddenly, I felt his arms wrap around me and his hands pressed into my back, moving me closer to

him. He rolled onto his back, sighing.

“Edward?”

“Hmm?” He answered me, not opening his eyes.

“Can I ask you something?” He was silent. “Why’d you get up and leave yesterday when I said

something about… moving forward?”

He opened one eye and peered down at me, grinning.

“It’s like, some kind of a courtesy to not take advantage of a girl when she’s drunk and you’re not.

Well, if the girl’s not a skank, like-”

“Yeah, I get it.”

“You’re the one who said you want to take things slow. I’m fine with the way things are now.”

I was fine with the way things were too, because I’d been spending so much time with Edward that

I was almost positive he wasn’t going out whoring like he regularly did. But he was so… hot. Yeah,

maybe I was being shallow and incredibly stupid, but I wanted more from him.

“So… you don’t want to do other stuff?”

My ear was rested against his chest, right over his heart. I swear it sped up a little.

“No. Of course I want to.” He chuckled and pushed his hair back. “Bella, if you want to give me

dome, feel free.”

“Pshh.” I rolled my eyes and slapped my hand against his stomach. His hard, muscular, smooth…

stomach. “You ruined the moment.”

“You’re confusing me,” Edward said, lightly tracing my spine with his fingers. I shivered again.

“You’re confusing me too. I mean… you’re you, and I’m not asking you to change the way you are

for me or anything, but… you have to get why I’m hesitant about this. I just don’t want to get in too

deep and end up getting hurt.”

“Well… I can’t promise you anything, because I don’t want to lie to you. But I will try. Not to do

anything… wrong to you, I mean. I’ve never done this before. Like, had real… feelings for

someone. I don’t know? I’m gonna stop talking, I sound like an asshole.”

Edward was stammering and blushing and even though it wasn’t exactly what girls dream of

hearing- “Oh, I can’t promise you I’m not gonna fuck another girl, but I’ll make an effort not to.”- it

was still more than I expected from him. Apparently my standards were really low. But, I couldn’t

just shoot him down when he was being honest with me, so I giggled and touched his hair, and I

kissed him quickly before returning to my spot on his chest.

“Thanks, Edward.”

“Mmm-hmm,” he hummed.

We laid there in silence for a few minutes.

And then I don’t know what happened, or who started it, but all of a sudden Edward was on top of

me and he was kissing me and moaning and so was I and there were just lips and tongue and fingers

and growls and skin and before I knew what was happening, I was practically clawing off his shirt

and he had already taken mine off and he was kissing and licking and sucking on my neck and

Edward. I needed him. I wrapped my arms around his broad back and squeezed, pulling his chest

against mine. And he was so warm, and his skin was so soft and velvety and I felt his abs clenching

with every movement he made.

All I was trying to do was sort things out in my head.

Just, do it Bella. Who cares?

No. No. He basically just said flat out not to trust him. That he was going to try. You’re setting

yourself up for heartbreak.

But, he’s so beautiful.

And so whorey.

Uhhhh. It was torture. Edward’s heavy breathing was such a turn on, and his hands were so strong

and dominant and all over my body, and he was dry humping me but I could feel him. I needed

more. So, I slid my hands down the front of his hot bod and I had another wrestling match with the

fly of his jeans. This had become an every day occurrence to us. Per usual, he brushed my hand to

the side and popped the button open himself, in one effortless motion.

Instead of reaching into his boxers and groping the shit out of him, I pulled his boxers down and

pushed them as far as my arms could reach, and then I used my feet to scoot his pants all the way

off. I’d never seen Edward naked before, and the blankets were covering him, so I tried to peek my

head under but he lifted his head from my neck and furrowed his brow.

“What are you doing?”

“Nothing.” I smiled sweetly and pinched a piece of his hair that had fallen forward.

I think Edward was a little taken aback, as he balanced above me, motionless and completely naked.

It was like he didn’t know what to do. So, I took control.

I started wriggling out of my sweatpants and grabbed his hands, putting them around the waistband

and forcing him to push them down.

His eyebrow was cocked, and his cheeks were flushed, and he looked at me, undecided.

He closed his eyes and shook his head, before muttering, “What the hell,” and lowering his mouth

to my nipple. He ripped my pants off and I felt his left hand move up my leg, up my stomach, and it

started moving on my boob, to the same rhythm as his tongue. I squeezed my legs shut, clenching

his torso between my knees. I lost sight of his head as he moved further under the blanket, planting

hot, wet, sloppy, but amazing kisses down my stomach. Suddenly, he stopped and I saw his fingers

grasp the edge of the blanket before he threw it back, exposing my naked body.

It was cold in the room, but Edward’s hands and his mouth all over my body kept me warm. I felt

him tongue slide up the crease where my thigh met my hip, and a chill went through my body. He

noticed it and lifted his head up.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m just… cold.”

Cold AKA nervous as fuck. I was confused, and I wanted to stop, but I didn’t want to stop and I was

just lying there naked and so was he and Edward. Damn Edward. He was making me turn into a

horny, feeble minded, weak little girl.

Apparently my body was still all tensed up, because Edward didn’t go back to kissing me. Instead,

he crawled up a little bit and cupped his palm around my cheek, looking directly into my eyes.

EPOV

“We don’t have to do this if you feel weird about it.”

Bella looked like she was about to shit a brick and I wasn’t gonna get any pleasure out of fucking

her if she was all uncomfortable and freaking out, so I just laid there and looked at her, using all my

fucking willpower not to just move up a couple inches and plow her brains out.

“I… I’m just… I don’t know?”

I’m no psychologist, but I’m pretty sure that wasn’t code for “Do me, Edward.”

I sighed quietly and rolled over, scooting my ass up the bed so I was lying next to her. My good

friend blue balls was back for a visit.

“What’s the matter now, Swan?”

“I don’t know.”

One of her eyebrows was wrinkled, like she was trying to think really hard, so I just sat there and

waited, grabbing her hand and planting a kiss on her palm. I heard a light “Hmm” and Bella looked

over at me, her eyes softening a little bit.

“Sorry.”

“Stop,” I told her. “We don’t have to have sex. You’re the one that practically ripped my pants to

shreds with your toenails. I thought that was what you wanted.”

“I just… don’t think straight when you’re right there, kissing me and touching me. My common

sense just-”

“Common sense? What do you mean by that?”

She was starting to piss me off.

“I mean knowing how stupid it would be to get involved with you.”

I rolled my eyes and dropped her hand.

“Look. I’m a scumbag, okay? I‘m not denying it. And you know it, too. But obviously, you don’t

have a problem with it, because you’re on my dick 24/7. No offense. So, if you don’t want to hook

up with me, don’t, but don’t sit here fooling around with me every day and then insulting me over

and over again, making me feel stupid, because I don’t do anything wrong to you.”

I don’t know why I suddenly got all worked up. Maybe it was my hormones overtaking my logic.

But bitch was tweaking with my nerves. Seriously, I wait on her hand and foot and try as hard as I

can not to fuck things up, and she doesn’t even appreciate it. It’s like she was just sitting there,

waiting for me to make a mistake so she can prove she was right about me. It was agitating.

She looked away from me, her cheeks turning red, and she nodded. “You’re right.” Huh? Didn’t

expect that. “I’m sorry… I’m really sorry. You’re right. You’re good to me.”

All of a sudden she flipped over and was kneeling between my legs, her tongue doing some crazy

shit to my neck. I just sat there as she moved down, licking and kissing my chest… and then my

stomach… and she kept moving down and down and…

She kneeled there, panting, her mouth two centimeters from my cock. Every time she breathed, I

felt the warmth hit me. I gulped, just waiting. The anticipation of will she, wont she was killing me.

She closed her eyes and wrapped her right hand around my shaft and held it for a second before she

dove in. I clenched at her sheets, because I didn’t know what the fuck else to do, as she wrapped her

mouth around my head and swirled her tongue around the ridge before moving further down. Now,

normally I’d just lay back and enjoy this shit, not caring who’s mouth was doing the work and

fantasizing about Adrianna Lima or something, but it was fucking Bella, and she was good, and I

wondered how she got that good, and I wanted to snap whoever’s neck that had their dick in her

mouth before but fuck. She worked her mouth up and down, her hand moving to the same rhythm,

and shit, her mouth was like a fucking vacuum cleaner, and I was trying as hard as I could to keep

my composure and not be a thirty-second man, but my self-control hit the road as soon as her lips

wrapped around me.

“Holy shit, you’re good,” I whimpered to her, letting go of the sheet with my left hand and putting it

on the back of her head. She looked up at me and winked, and I pushed her head down gently but

she pressed her head all the way down, and I don’t know how she did it but I swear her nose was

squashed against my skin. It was fucking phenomenal. And then I felt her one hand on my balls and

I was holding on with all my might, but I was slipping, so I gave her a courtesy tap and moaned.

“I can’t hold it, I’m gonna go.”

She traced her tongue up the back of my dick, making me go fucking ballistic, and she pulled her

mouth off for a second.

“Then go.”

And then she clenched at my asscheeks and her nails dug into my skin and she forced her head all

the way down again, slurping away. So I let go. She kept moving up and down as I came inter her

mouth and it was the best fucking blow job I’d ever gotten in my life and I wanted to leave so I

could buy her flowers and a trip to the Bahamas or something to show her how grateful I was, but I

just let my head loll back and I panted, trying to catch my breath as I stared at the ceiling.

I heard a gulp, and Bella giggled and shimmied up to me, kneeling there waiting for me to say

something. There was a light sheen of sweat on her face and a piece of her hair was sticking to it,

but it was so fucking sexy, I wanted to lick it off. She put her hand on my chest, that was also

dripping with sweat, and she frowned.

“Umm… are you okay?”

“That was ridiculous,” I said between gasps. “I can’t believe you’ve been jerking me off for a week

when we could’ve been doing that.”

“Baby steps,” She said, slipping her sweatpants back on. She reached for her bra but I ripped it from

her hands and chucked it onto the floor, pushing her shoulders so she was lying flat on the bed.

“Let me just stare at the twins for a little while.” I smirked and leaned over her, just staring at her

amazing body. It felt weird. If she was any other girl, I would’ve been out the door and driving

down the block by now.

Suddenly, I heard a faint buzzing coming from the foot of the bed.

“Fuck,” I groaned, ripping apart the blankets to look for my pants. I reached into my jeans and saw

the dreaded phone call. “Emmett’s gonna be here in a minute. He’s done with practice… I have to
go. Carlisle’s making me organize his bookshelves as part of my sentence for you tattling on me.”

“Come back later,” she said, helping me put my shirt over my head. “Please.”

“I’ll try,” I told her. I was really gonna try. Because a repeat of that shit was all I was gonna be

thinking about until the next time it happened. I stuck my legs back into my jeans quickly and

kneeled down on the floor to put my sneakers on. And then I moved between her legs and put my

hands on her knees. “Bella- uh… I’m sorry for getting so pissy before. I was being a dick.”

“No, you were right. I deserved it, I guess.”

She threw her shirt over her head before standing up and walking me over to the window of death. I

swear I had permanent bruising from all the times I fell from that shit.

“I’ll call you later, alright bizzle?”

“Yep.” She pushed her lips to mine and spanked my ass before I climbed out of the window.

11.Admittance

BPOV

"Bella?"

Charlie called my name as he knocked on my door. I'd been giving him the silent treatment since he

yelled at me and grounded me Saturday and I wasn't about to give up now.

So I ignored him.

"Bella, open this door."

I rolled my eyes and climbed off the bed, swinging the door open and giving him the evil eye.

"You can cut the attitude out. I get it, you're mad. You're only making this harder on yourself."

I stared and said nothing. I could play this game alllll day if he wanted.

"Fine. I have to work the overnight shift. I'll be back tomorrow before you get home from school.

Don't bother trying to sneak out, because I disconnected your battery. I'll stop by and reconnect it

before it's time for you to leave in the morning. Behave yourself."

"Whatever," I mumbled, slamming the door on Charlie's face.

As I dropped down onto my bed, an idea suddenly popped into my head. I scrolled through my

phone, looking for anyone who could help me. It was still pretty early, so I knew someone would

answer.

I decided on Angela.

"Hey," she said excitedly. "Did you get out of being grounded?"

"Ugh, no."

"Boo!" She exclaimed. "Keep trying."

I laughed. "Trust me, I am. What are you doing?"

"Leaving Jessica's. I'm on my way home."

Jackpot! Jessica's skank ass lived right down the street and Angela had to pass Edward's house to

get to hers.

"Do you think you can do me a favor?"

A couple minutes later, Angela was standing under my window, cringing.

"Bella, just go out the front door," she whispered.

"I can't! My dad didn't leave yet! Oh my God, I'm gonna die."

I sucked it up and shimmied across the branch, the same way Edward always did. It was fucking

scary. I felt bad for all the times I'd yelled at him for complaining about the tree.

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes before hopping off the branch. Within a half a second I hit

the ground.

"Fuck! I think I broke my coccyx."

Angela was trying to muffle her hysterical laughter with her hand. She helped me up and we

hightailed it to her car, which was parked a couple houses down.

"That seriously hurt so badly. I may need to go to the ER instead."

Angela laughed. "That seemed like a lot of work just to go and see Edward Cullen. What the hell's

going on with you two anyway?"

I sighed and scratched my forehead. "I don't know. Nothing."

"It doesn't seem like nothing. Jessica won't shut up about how Edward doesn't call her anymore,"

Angela said, rolling her eyes.

"Ugh, Jessica needs to give up already. She's so desperate. Tell her to find a new FWB. I nominate

Newton."

"I second that," she said with a giggle. "Seriously, though, Edward's really toned it down. I've never

seen him so... celibate before."

I cleared my throat and stared out the window.

"Are you..." Angela's eyes widened.

"No. I'm not sleeping with him."

It was kind of a lie, but I wasn't in the mood to degrade myself.

Oh, yeah Angela. First we played around second base for a week, and we just recently dove into

oral. And by oral, I mean me blowing him every opportunity I get. It's a blast.

It just seemed kind of weird talking about it to someone who wasn't Edward.

Luckily she didn't press any further, but I think she got the hint.

"Are you sure he's even here?" Angela asked as we pulled into the Cullen's dark driveway.

"Ehh... I'll be fine. Thanks so much- I'll see you tomorrow at school, as long as I don't get caught

and shipped off to Kentucky to milk cows," I said, slamming the car door.

She had no clue what I meant.

I tiptoed up the back stairs of the house to Edward's balcony. I twisted the door handle and pulled,

relieved when it opened. Edward was sitting at his desk, looking at porn or whothefuckknows on

his laptop, shirtless and wearing only gym shorts. Glorious. The only light on was his dim bedside

lamp, and there was music quietly streaming from his iHome. He spun around quickly when he

heard the door and raised an eyebrow at me.

"What the hell are you doing here," he managed to mutter through a yawn.

"I got sprung!" I exclaimed, hopping on his bed. "Charlie's working the graveyard shift tonight.

Surprise!"

Edward stood up and chuckled, sprawling out next to me on his stomach. I watched his smooth

back lift with each breath and I twisted a piece of his hair around my finger. I was unhealthy

obsessed with touching him as much as possible.

"So what do you want to do?" I asked him. "Barhopping? A nice night drive? Or maybe-"

"Let's not do anything," he mumbled, his mouth pressed against his arm. "I'm tired."

"Come on! It feels so good to be free!"

"You've been grounded for four days. You didn't do a life sentence at Alcatraz or anything."

I rolled my eyes and crawled up to the head of his bed, resting on one of the pillows. He twisted and

pulled himself with his arms, lying between my legs and putting his head on my stomach.

"Why are you so tired?" I asked him. His eyelashes kept fluttering and it looked like he was

struggling to stay awake.

"Well, it's a combination of the lack of sleep from the consecutive late night BJs and the nightcap I

just had." He spoke the words into my stomach, chuckling.

"I see."

"Scratch my hair," he ordered, nudging my hand with the top of his head. I complied because... let's

face it. Edward owned me. Pathetic? Yes.

"I had an interesting conversation with Angela on the way here."

"Mmm," he groaned with pleasure. "What about?"

"You."
"Ehh."

"She said good things, actually. That you haven't called Jessica," I informed him, roughly

massaging his scalp with my fingertips.

"You’re surprised?"

"She said you seem different. Less whorey."

"Why would I have multiple whores anymore? You're good enough for the time being." Edward

winced as I slapped him in the ear. "Owww. That was a joke."

"Yeah, hilarious. Do you write your own material?"

"Keep scratching, woman."

I sighed and leaned my head against his headboard. "How the hell am I gonna get home?"

"Just sleep here. I'll drive you to school in the morning. Esme only gives me the keys when I’m

allowed to have the car.”

"No, that won’t work. I have to drive my own car. You have to bring me home at like 6 so I can

change and-"

"No. Hell no. Wear something of mine and I'll drop you off at your car on the way to school."

I thought about it for a little bit and gave in, excited about spending the night in his bed.

"Do you only want me around so you can... do stuff with me?" I asked him hesitantly. He lifted his

head and stared at me like I was mental.

"No. Matter of fact, I'm too tired to do anything tonight. This is gonna be a legit sleepover." He

emphasized sleep and yawned again.

"You didn't answer my question."

Edward lifted his head again and rested his chin on my stomach. "I'm not using you to get off, I

enjoy your company. Stop asking me stupid shit."

Then he dropped his head again and put my hands back in his hair.

“It’s not stupid to me,” I muttered, not satisfied with his answer.

“Stop. Talking.” Edward sighed and started humming along with the music. “If I sing to you, will

you shut up?”

I laughed. Edward singing? Pshh.

“Go ahead.”

He cocked his head to the side so he could hear what song was on, and then he laid his head back

down in his lap and cleared his throat.

“I want you, I want you, I want you… I think you know by now… I’ll get to you somehow,” He

stopped and chuckled, and I shoved his shoulder to make him keep going. “Until I do I'm telling

you so you'll understand. Bellllllla, ma belle. Sont des mots qui vont très bien ensemble-”

Should I have been surprised that Edward was a good singer? Probably not. The fucker was good at

everything. But Edward singing The Beatles to me and his chuckling mixed with my hormones and

his lack of a shirt all started swirling together and before he could keep going I grabbed the side of

his face and yanked it forward, kissing him, just because I could. Screw him and his sleepover idea.

I didn’t just break my assbone for nothing.

He didn’t seem to mind, because he pulled himself further up the bed and kept going. I was happy

just lying there making out, since in all honestly, I was developing a sorry case of lockjaw from how

much head I’d been giving Edward lately. Very ladylike, I know. I couldn’t help it, though. He

really liked it and I liked how much he liked it and it made me proud of my fellatio skills. Luckily,

Edward never asked where I picked up the technique from. That was something he never needed to

hear about.

Edward’s kisses left my lips and started moving down my chin, under my chin, then down my neck-

then, he stopped to pull off my shirt- and down my stomach. He started fiddling with the button on

my jeans which was unusual because Edward had yet to go down on me. He’d tried a bunch of

times, but I was nervous. I don’t know why. It wasn’t anything that I hadn’t done before, but it was

like the last little step before having sex with him. It was the one tiny thread I was trying to hold

onto because I knew once it snapped, I’d fall. Hard.

So again, for the fourth night in a row, I started to bitch out.

“Umm, I thought you said you were tired?” I asked as he unzipped my jeans.

“I am,” he mumbled, not moving his mouth from my skin.

The vibration of his voice made me quiver.

He got on his knees and hooked his fingers around the waistband of my jeans and my underwear

and pulled, tossing them behind his head swiftly. I laid there, all exposed and shivering and

vulnerable and I don’t know why, but I felt insecure, so I reached my arm out to turn off Edward’s

lamp. But he leaped forward and grabbed my hand, before kissing my lips and smirking.

“I want to watch you,” he said, his hand descending down the front of my body. I stopped it right as

he got to my crotch-al area and flinched.

“Wait,” I said, taking a deep breath. “I don’t-”

“Holy shit, Swan. It’s always something with you. You’re a real pain in the ass.”

He rolled his eyes and moved back between my legs anyway. I pressed my knees together so he

couldn’t see me.

“Stop,” he said, trying to force my legs apart. He gave a little shove and then gave up, letting out a

sigh. “What? What’s the problem?”

“I’m nervous,” I admitted, feeling stupid. Past stupid.

“Oh, my god. What the hell are you nervous about? It’s just me.”

“Yeah, exactly, it’s you! Your body is perfect and I’m…”

Edward’s head rolled back and he groaned. “Bella, come on, I’m tired. Your body is amazing. Its

exquisiteness surpasses that of Michelangelo’s Creation of Adam. You want me to keep going?”

I shook my head and pouted.

Edward put his hands on either side of my body and pushed forward so that he was hovering above

me.

“Bella, seriously. You’ve been doing me… favors for days. Just let me do this for you. I promise I’ll

do a good job,” he said, raising his eyebrows flirtatiously and talking in his deep, seducer voice.

And then he kissed my forehead. That conniving fuck.

Snap.

There went that last thread.

I was in love with Edward Cullen.

I was fucked. With a capital F. And U. And… whatever.

I was F-U-C-K-E-D.

And I didn’t really care.

What the hell. I sucked up my scared, wussy feelings and nodded. I couldn’t resist him anymore.

“Fine, go ahead.”

EPOV

“Are you sure?” I asked her, because she didn’t look so sure. And it wasn’t like I’d be raping her or

some crazy shit like that, but I wanted her to at least be comfortable. Because this was for her. It

was the only thing I could do right now to show her how I felt about her. Without words, I mean.

“Yeah, I’m sure. I want you to. Please.” She shut her eyes and exhaled loudly, and let her knees fall

so that her legs were flat against the bed.

I smiled and ducked my head down, stopping so that I could run my fingers down her quickly.

There was no point, because she was already so wet, so I dug right in like it was Thanksgiving

dinner. She started breathing heavy, and when I looked up all I could see were her tits moving up

and down with every breath and it was so fucking hot. I grabbed her ass and pulled her hips forward

so that I could stick my tongue as deep into her as it would go, and she was panting and moaning

my name and she tasted so fucking sweet and it was amazing. I had to pull away for a second to

catch my breath because shit was making me dizzy. I dove back in and twisted my tongue around,

and slid it up and down her slit and I pushed my finger inside her and spun my tongue around her

clit and she was loving it. I wasn’t surprised. The small amount of girls that I’d done that shit to- it

wasn’t part of my regular playbook- endlessly praised me for it. Even though it was years ago, Alice

still mentions it when she’s drunk.

Anyway, Bella started yanking at my hair and she always did that shit when she was about to come

when I’d fingered her, so I started going faster and faster lapping away and sucking at her shit and

trying to get as much of it as I could in my mouth because it was so fucking good. Her legs

clenched together around my head, and I pointed my tongue and kept swirling it around, making a

fast rhythm and she leaned up on her elbows so she could look at me, and her cheeks were all red

and her eyelids kept flittering and her smell was all around me, driving my fucking crazy. And she

kept saying, “Edward, Edward, Edward,” and hearing her pant my name and curse turned me on so

fucking much. And then she bit her bottom lip and grasped at the sheets and I could feel all her

muscles start tensing up and then she was pulsing in my mouth and around my fingers and fuck. I

waited until she was done and I licked away all that I could, and I lifted my head up to look at her

again. She was still gasping and her tits were still moving up and down and I just kneeled there and

watched her because I could sit there and look at her all fucking day when she was like that.

I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand and smirked at her when she opened her eyes.

“Yummm.”

“Come here,” she said, and she grabbed a handful of my shorts and pulled me on top of her,

grabbing my face and kissing me over and over. And I liked it because a lot of girls get skeeved out

when it comes to shit like that, but she had no problem sticking her tongue in my mouth when her

juices were all still lingering around in there.

Bella was fucking king.

I laid my head on the pillows while she caught her breath, still all shaky and shit from her orgasm.

Her head rolled toward me and her eyes were all lovey and big and she smiled, and it was so

adorable. And maybe I’m a fag for using a word like adorable, but that’s what it was.

“Edward, that was… no words,” she said, shaking her head. “You must’ve had a lot of practice.”

“Not really. It’s one of my natural traits,” I told her, not lying because I really didn’t do that shit

often. When I did it was usually because I felt obligated, not because I wanted to, like I did with her.

“Can we do it again soon?” She asked me, sheepishly.

I laughed at her. “Sure. Whenever you want.”

I’d been trying for days but she kept fighting me away, so I was almost ready to give up and just let

her keep blowing me with no reciprocation. This seemed better, for some reason.

“Let’s go to bed. I’m falling asleep,” I told her, yanking the covers down to get underneath them.

She stood up and retrieved her underwear from whereverthefuck I threw them and took a t-shirt

from my drawer before getting back into bed and cuddling up next to me.

I clicked the light off and set my alarm before rolling over and kissing Bella on the forehead.

“Thanks for that, Edward,” Bella whispered, touching my face. “I… um… I think that I…”

“What?” I asked her. She was stammering and trying to say something.

“Nothing, never mind. Goodnight.”

*

“We have a lab due on Monday. And just because you’re fucking grounded, I’m not doing the whole

thing on my own,” I told Bella as she sipped her Diet Coke.

“I know. I’ll talk to Charlie, maybe he’ll let you come over later if it’s for schoolwork.”

“Yeah, I doubt that.”

Bella looked so damn hot sitting there, wearing my shirt. She searched my closet for-fucking-ever

looking for the smallest thing she could find. The button up was still way too big for her, but she’d

tied a knot in the front of it and as she leaned over the lunch table, her head resting on her hand, I

could see a small slither of her skin peeking out of the back of the shirt. My shirt. I liked it.

“Please, Jasper? Please wear it!”

“No. Hell no.”

I rolled my eyes and threw a French fry at Alice’s face, trying to drown out her and Jasper’s

annoying ass voices and get back to my Bella fantasizing. Bella-sizing.

“Stop talking about it,” Bella said to them, pissed off. She was jealous she wasn’t going to the party

and it was all these tools kept talking about.

“Alice, I need you to fix the sequins on my corset before tomorrow. Right by the zipper, they keep-”

“Stop talking about it.” Bella interrupted Rosalie. I didn’t feel like hearing about her skankalicious

costume either.

“I’m gonna be a vampire.” I joined the conversation, mostly because it was funny that Bella was

getting so pissed about it.

She turned her head and squinted at me.

“What?” I asked, growling and snapping my teeth near her neck.

She pushed me away by my forehead and crossed her arms over her chest.

“You’re not going,” she said to me.

“Ohhhhhhhhhh,” Emmett hollered from across the table. I ignored him.

“What do you mean, I’m not going?”

“Exactly what I said,” she stated, talking to me like I was retarded. “You’re-not-going.”

I laughed. “Uh, no offense, but you’re not my mother. You can’t tell me what to do.”

She was cracked if she thought she was gonna boss me around like she was wifey or something. If

she asked me not to go nicely, I probably would’ve agreed, but after that shit I was going just to

prove a point.

“Fine, Edward.” She smiled and stood up from the table. It wasn’t a nice smile, it was one of those,

“You wait and see what I have in store for you, you stupid fuck” smiles. Not to mention, it wasn’t

even close to time for lunch to be over and she’d left the cafeteria.

Whatever.

“Why don’t you just stay with her,” Rosalie said. “She’s gonna be all alone when she knows

everyone else is at the party. Don’t be an asshole.”

“Shut up, galla. Just because she’s grounded that means I am too? I’ve been with her every fucking

day. It’s not a big deal, she’ll get over it.”

Maybe it was from my recent lack of sleep, or the fact that I thought it would be a good idea to chug

some Gin before first period, but whatever the reason, I was in a shitty mood and I didn’t feel like

hearing it from anybody, especially not Rosalie. Galla.

“Fuck you, Edward. I know that’s some kind of an insult in another language,” she muttered at me

before going back to her conversation with Alice.

I gave her the finger.

*

Bella didn’t say one word to me all throughout Bio, even when I kicked her chair and scribbled on

her notes and threw my gum wrapper down the front of her shirt.

So I wasn’t expecting her to call that afternoon.

“Hey,” she said when I picked up the phone. “What are you doing?”

“Uh,” I looked down at my untouched Gin & Tonic. “Nothing. What the hell do you want?”

“What?”

“You ignored me half the day, so I repeat, what the hell do you want?”

“Go blow yourself, Edward. Charlie said you can come over so we can finish the lab. We have to

stay in the living room… with him. And you have to stay at least four feet away from me at all

times, according to him, but I think that was a slight exaggeration. Um, but if it’s not- sorry in

advance.”

I sighed and tried to think of an excuse to get out of it, because I didn’t think I could handle being in

the same room as Bella and not sexually violate her when I wanted and with Charlie being there…

it just spelled disaster. I wanted to live to see 18.

“Fine. Should I come now?”

“Yeah, hurry up.”

When I walked up to the Swan residence and knocked on the door, it felt weird. I’d gotten so used

to sneaking in using the tree that knocking on the door seemed… backwards. Charlie pulled the

door open and gave me the up and down, not moving from the doorway.

“Hey Chief,” I said, holding up my backpack. “I’m here for some hardcore studying. You know…”

He grumbled something under his breath- I think “sodomize”- and stepped to the side. I walked into

the foyer and looked around.

“Nice place. Cozy,” I said, even though I’d walked around his shack before.

Still he said nothing, he just pointed toward the living room. He followed behind me as I walked

into the room, where Bella was sitting at the floor on her laptop, her Bio book lying open beside

her.

“Hey,” she said, not looking up from whatever she was typing. “Sit down.” She tilted her head

toward the sofa, so I dropped down onto it and started taking my crap out of my bag. I reached for

the laptop and she sneered at me.

“Let’s be real- I’ll do the typing. I don’t feel like having to spell check everything before I hand this

in.”

“Are you insulting my daughter’s intelligence?” Charlie asked, glaring at me.

“Dad, you said you weren’t going to talk. Watch your game.”

Bella rolled her eyes when Charlie wasn’t looking and started flipping the pages of her book.

“So, for the fourth sample, the results were negative,” she said, looking down at her notes. I typed

up what she told me and added my own observations, while going through and spicing up what

she’d already typed up.

We continued on like that for a awhile until I got bored. Really fucking bored. Unless something

involved drinking, some kind of recreational drugs, or two X chromosomes it was hard for me to

concentrate on it. Needless to say, my mind started wandering. Every time Bella leaned over her

book, I got a sweet view down her shirt. She kept sticking her pencil in her mouth and pursing her

lips around the edge of it, and I swear she was doing that shit on purpose to bother me. And then,

the scandalous little shrew got up on her knees and kneeled over the coffee table to grab her

calculator and she stuck her ass out and I just wanted to get up and bend her over and give it to her

and I fucking groaned and Charlie caught me staring and cleared his throat.

Fuck.

I looked down quickly at the laptop, and chuckled.

Sfjnjfnsk4jnfoiegsjdngj&sdkhgosd.

I’d gotten so distracted that that was the last sentence I’d typed. This shit wasn’t working. Since our

productivity rate was near zero, I decided to have a little fun.

“Let me see that,” I told Bella, pointing at her notebook. She frowned and slid it across the table,

throwing her pencil onto my lap.

I want to go upstairs. Now.

I scribbled it down on a clean sheet of paper and threw the notebook back to her. She read it over

and smirked, and wrote something back, flipping the page before throwing it back to me.

“Write that,” she said, trying to throw Charlie off. He stomped his foot because of something that’d

happened on the game, so I doubted he was paying any attention to us anyway.

Why?

That was all she wrote. She needed some work in the dirty talking department. I crinkled my nose

and jotted something down before giving her back the book.

Because I want to put my tongue inside you.

Her mouth dropped when she read it and she quickly erased everything we’d written and I waited

for her to give me some kind of a sign back, but she didn’t so I sighed and went back to our stupid

fucking lab write up. A couple minutes later, I felt my phone vibrating in my pocket. I yanked it out

and stared at Bella, who was biting her bottom lip and smirking.

First I want to wrap my lips around your dick and-

Before I could even finish reading her text my Dad’s name flashed on the screen.

“What, Dad?”

Charlie looked in my direction, curious.

“You said you wouldn’t be long, Edward. I want your car back in this driveway.”

Carlisle was such a cockblocking prick.

“We’re finishing up right now.”

Charlie stuck his hand out, signaling for me to hand him the phone. I held it away from my ear, not

wanting to talk to that douche anymore anyway.

“Hey Dr. Cullen… it’s no problem, I’ll give you a call as soon as he leaves.”

Charlie smirked and threw the phone back to me. I hung up, pissed off that I wasn’t gonna be able

to go defile Bella like I’d planned. Charlie and Carlisle both managed to surpass Newton my list of

people I wanted to die a fiery death.

Bella didn’t look pleased, either.

I did a half assed job finishing up the lab and packed my shit up, just wanting to get home so I could

figure out a way to sneak back there. When I stood up to leave, Bella followed me, Charlie giving

me an foul look.

“I’m gonna walk Edward out,” she said, implying for him to sit the fuck down and not follow us.

Bella stepped onto the front porch behind me and closed the door before jumping on me like a lion

attacking a fuckin gazelle. I was getting all wrapped up in her tongue twisting around in my mouth,

but I pulled away before Charlie came out with the shotgun.

“Your Dad,” I gasped, as she pounced in to kiss me again.

“I don’t care-”

“I do. Tu padre es loco. I’ll come back, okay?”

Her face dropped and she shook her head.

“Just take me with you. I’ll go upstairs and-”

“No, my dad’s gonna be standing outside waiting for me. And he’ll call your dad.”

“But… I want to sleep at your house again,” she suggested, pouting.

I thought about it for a second and nodded.

“Okay- just let me go home, I’ll be back to get you in a little bit.”

She reluctantly agreed and I made my way back to my shithead dad. Like I expected, he was

standing in the driveway. He held out his hand for the keys but instead I tossed them over his head

so they landed somewhere in the lawn and walked past him into the house. It was already almost

ten, and I knew everyone was probably getting hammered, but I tried calling anyway. As I

suspected, they were all at Jaspers, and they’d been drinking for hours. Great. I called Bella and told

her to find a ride over, but she said she’d already called Angela and she was at Ben’s setting up for

the party.

Fucking GREAT.

There was only one option left and I really really didn’t want to pick it.

*

BPOV

“Come on,” Edward said as he climbed through the window. He was out of breath and his ears and

the tip of his nose were red. He looked like a little boy that had just come in from playing outside.

“Who drove you?” I asked him. The last time I’d talked to him he told me he couldn’t find anyone

to bring him over, so I was sitting in the dark, moping.

“No one,” he muttered, frowning at me. “Let’s go. Oh, and… I’d wear a coat if I were you.”

“I’m not walking to your house.”

He closed his eyes and sighed. “We’re not walking, just shut your gob and get a move on.”

And with that he had climbed back out of the window and I heard the thump as his feet hit the

ground. I grabbed my jacket and followed his lead out to the tree branch, and I sat down on it and

looked at him, my feet swinging loosely underneath me. He was leaning against the trunk, staring

up at me.

“Today,” he whispered.

“It hurt last time I did this.”

“You’ll be fine. I’ll catch you.” He held his hands up and surprisingly, there wasn’t that much of a

distance between his fingers and my feet. Seeing Edward there, ready to catch me made me feel

safe for some reason.

“Okay,” I closed my eyes and hopped down. Suddenly I felt his arms around me, and unlike last

time, I wasn’t sprawled out across the lawn. I opened my eyes and saw him standing in front of me,

his arms wrapped around my waist, holding me up. “Wow. Thanks.”

And then I saw our mode of transportation.

I started climbing back up the tree.

“Stop being such a brat,” he half shouted, half whispered. “It’s a scenic drive.”

“Edward, it’s a bike. I haven’t been on a bike since I was like… six. It doesn’t even have pegs.”

“So what? Sit on the handlebars.”

Edward lifted up the bike and walked it onto the street, not checking to see if I was behind him. I

sighed and followed him, because his butt looked so cute in his stupid jeans. Dammit. I saw another

trip to the ER on the horizon.

“Edward, I’m uncoordinated. And,” I put my nose near his mouth and sniffed. “You were drinking!

You’re not supposed to… drive drunk.”

“What, am I gonna get a BWI? Biking While Intoxicated. That would be fucking hilarious to have

on my record.”

“Fine.” I lifted my right leg so that I was straddling the tire and grabbed the handlebars, sliding my

butt onto them. It wasn’t comfortable at ALL. “Ouch.”

“Shut up. You need to get used to having stuff shoved up your butt. That’s the next step we’re

taking.”

“Ew. I sincerely hope you’re joking.”

“I am… kind of.”

I ignored him.

Edward took a deep breath and started pedaling pretty fast, like I wasn’t even on the bike at all. He

was right. It was a really cool drive. The sky was clear and I could see all the stars and it was cold,

but not freezing. Suddenly I heard his voice in my ear and chill went through my body.

“Look over there,” he said, and he pointed to the right of me. The moon was full and it was low in

the sky and the it was so bright that the light from it made the tops of all the trees look blue. It was

amazing.

“Wow.”

“You should see it at my house, over the river,” he said, quickly squeezing my shoulder. And then in

a very Edward-like fashion, he ruined the moment. “If we ever get there since your fat ass is making

me about to have an asthma attack.”

We made it to his house in a half an hour. Despite all of Edward’s habits, he was still pretty athletic,

because if I had to ride a bike all the way to his house without someone on the handlebars, I’m sure

I would’ve collapsed.

“Thanks for picking me up on your sick bicycle. It was really Jr. High of you,” I said to him,

jumping on his back so he could piggy back me up the stairs since my ass was throbbing.

“Shut up!” He whispered. “If Carlisle hears you, we’re fucked ten ways till Sunday.”

“Ugh, please. Your parents barely notice you, unless you’re misbehaving.”

“True,” he agreed, shrugging.

Edward let go of me as soon as we got into his room. He started fumbling around in his drawers and

taking out clothes.

“Uh, I need a shower from all the cycling. Wanna join?”

“No,” I shook my head. “I already showered.”

I grabbed a book from one of his shelves and followed him to the bathroom. He turned the water on

and the steam filled up the bathroom, and he timidly took off his sweatshirt as I sat on the toilet and

watched him.

“Stop looking at me.”

I reached forward and grabbed his belt loop, tugging him toward me.

Edward laughed and looked down at me.

“What are you doing?”

“Helping you undress,” I said, grabbing the hem of his shirt and standing up so I could yank it off.

I slid my hand down his hard chest, over his abs, and I unbuttoned his pants, grabbing them and his

boxers between my fist as I pulled down.

“Okay, you’re done,” I said, spinning him around and slapping his ass before pushing him toward

the shower. He pffffed and climbed in, not saying anything to me. If it were any other day, I

would’ve slobbed his knob right there, but today was different. I wanted to talk to him seriously and

I didn’t want him to think I was manipulating him with sexual… things.

Things had been bothering me since lunch that afternoon. I was jealous. And scared. I couldn’t go to

the party, and I was insecure and afraid he was going to hook up with Jessica or Lauren or some

junior and sophomore skanks or something, and I kind of trusted him, but I wanted him with me.

And he yelled at me and told me that I couldn’t tell him what to do, and he was right, so I wanted to

change that.

It was the first time that I was going to talk to Edward about the idea of us… being exclusive.

Dating. Being boyfriend and girlfriend. Going steady, whateverthefuck you wanted to call it. I was

afraid of what he’d say to me, but I figured I’d use the argument that things wouldn’t be different

from the way they were now- except for the fact that I’d have the authority to tell him he couldn’t

go to Halloween parties where girls would be half naked wearing skanky costumes, but I was

planning on leaving out that little tidbit.

I was so distracted by what I was going to say, I didn’t notice Edward stick his head out of the glass

doors of the shower, his hair full of suds, and glance down at the book that was cracked in my lap.

“What are you reading?”

“Lady Chatterley’s Lover. Dare I ask why you even have this book?”

Edward laughed. “Yeah, actually, Esme gave that to me and told me to read it before giving me the

sex talk. To break me in or something, I guess. It bored me. Then again, I was 13.”

“Way to be a bad parent, Esme,” I said, giving a victory pump.

“Yeah, she’s… whatever.”

Edward stuck his head back in the shower.

“Um, Edward… can we have a serious talk?”

“No.”

“Please?”

“Only if you come in here.”

I sighed and took a deep breath before dropping the book on the floor… along with my clothes.

I stepped into the shower and took a nice long look at Edward’s wet, naked body before I started

talking.

“I was just thinking… about us.” I reached out and ran my fingers along Edward’s “B.”

“What about us?” He asked me, smirking.

“Are we ever going to be… you know? Together.”

He tried to make a pass for my nipple but I slapped his hand down.

“I thought you didn’t want that.”

“If I knew that you weren’t going to do anything wrong, then I would. Sometime in the future…”

I looked down at my feet, kind of embarrassed.

“I already told you, I was going to try.”

That wasn’t really the answer I was looking for. I wasn’t exactly banking on, “I’m in love with you,

Bella” but some kind of effort would’ve been nice.

Edward must’ve noticed the disappointed look on my face.

“Look at me,” he said, putting his finger under my chin and tilting my head up. I stared into his

green eyes, mesmerized. “How about… if I prove to you, in however long you want, that you can

trust me, we date. Exclusively.”

“Okay.”

“I don’t give a shit about anyone else.”

“Okay,” I said again, ecstatic about the fact that Edward wanted to be with me, just me, too. I smiled

and my hand flitted quickly over the side of his face, since I didn’t want to hug him or attack him or

pounce on his naked body in fear I wouldn’t be able to stop and I’d fuck him in his shower stall.

He didn’t get the hint. He took a step toward me, and I took a step back, and he took another step

toward me, and I took another step back, and then my back hit the wall of the shower and Edward

took another step forward, placing both his palms flat against the tile on either side of my head and

leaning in to kiss me. I kissed him back, but tried to keep it PG-13, and he kept going, and he

pressed his body against mine, and he was hard as I kissed his I kept feeling him grazing against my

stomach, and my crotch, and the top of my legs, and I could take it anymore so I pushed him away

and got out of the shower.

He groaned and followed me out into the warm, steamy bathroom. Edward didn’t bother drying off,

he just wrapped a fluffy white towel around his waist and walked back into his bedroom. I dried off

and put my underwear and my t-shirt back on, scurrying back to his bedroom to see him.

Edward was standing in front of his TV, flipping through the channels, wearing only gray

sweatpants and no shirt.

“So,” he said, not turning around to look at me. “You got to have your little talk. Now I get mine.
When do I get to fuck you? Is there like, a time frame or something you could give me, because I

really want to, and you’re kind of killing me over here.”

Uh, hello buzz kill.

“Is that all you care about?”

“No. Of course not. I don’t expect you to give in and I’m still with you all the time anyway.”

He didn’t sound convincing. Suddenly I realized why I was hesitant about the whole Slutward thing

in the first place.

“Then why do you want to know?”

“You fuck 25 year old guys in the back of cars, but with me it’s a big deal.”

“He was 24.”

“Whatever.”

I sat on his bed and twirled my wet hair around my finger. Edward saw that I was upset and he sat

next to me, sighing.

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s different with you,” I explained to him. He didn’t deserve an explanation, but I spilled to him

anyway. “I actually care about you… I want to do things right. I want us having sex to… mean

something.”

He grinned and leaned in, kissing the top of my head. I scooted over so that I was almost in his lap

and I leaned my head on his shoulder. He pushed the hair off my face that had fallen in front of it

and kissed the top of my nose.

“I’m serious, Edward. I like you… so much.” I took a deep breath and put my mouth near his ear.

“Like… I think that I… lo-”

“Bella- stop,” he interrupted me, shaking his head. “Don’t say it.”

I frowned and moved away from him, standing up. “Why not?”

“Because you don’t. Don’t say stuff you don’t mean.” His voice was cold.

“Excuse me?” I put my hands on my hips and sneered at him. “How the fuck would you know how

I feel?”

I was livid. I stormed into the bathroom and grabbed my pants off the floor, and I jammed my legs

into them angrily. Edward followed behind me and leaned against the doorframe, looking a little

defeated.

“What are you doing?”

“Leaving.”

I pushed past him and threw my jacket on before I grabbed my purse. He grabbed my hand and

pulled my toward him, but I ripped my hand out of his grasp.

“What are you, gonna walk home?”

“Yep.”

“Stop it. You’re being ridiculous.”

“No, I’m not. I love you. I do. And I don’t care what you think.”

Edward raked his fingers through his wet hair, frustrated, and shook his head at me.

“I don’t know what you want me to say.”

“Nothing.” I shrugged and stared at him, trying to make him feel uncomfortable.

“Well, I don’t love you. That’s why I didn’t want you saying it.”

I shut my eyes because I felt like I was going to cry and… I didn’t cry. Not over douchebags like

him. I wasn’t expecting him to say it back, but I didn’t feel like it was necessary to hide how I felt,

and I didn’t think he’d be such an asshole about it.

When I opened my eyes again I felt a tear roll down my cheek, and Edward quietly cursed under his

breath. He walked over to me and wrapped his arms around me, pulling my head against his bare

chest and holding it there as I cried into it.

“That doesn’t mean I don’t care about you. And, maybe I will, eventually- I mean, I’m sure that I

will, but… I’ve never said that to a girl, because I’ve never felt that strong about anyone, and I

don’t want to lie to you. I‘ve never even had a real girlfriend before, Bella. Give me a break, here.”

I sniffled and wiped the tears on my cheeks away with the back of my hand.

“Stay,” he said, throwing my jacket over the back of his desk chair.

He kissed the top of my head and leaned back, gently pulling my jacket off. I let him, because I

loved him, and I wanted to stay, and I wanted to be with him always, and I even though it killed me

that he didn’t care about me as much as I cared about him, I was willing to wait until he did.

In my defense, though, I’d never really had a boyfriend either, and I knew enough about myself and

my feelings to know that I was in love with Edward. I couldn’t help but feel offended that he didn’t

feel the same way about me.

“I don’t want you to leave,” he muttered, sitting back on the bed and patting the space next to him.

So I didn’t.

12.Betrayal

EPOV

“I love you. I do. And I don’t care what you think.”

Fuck.

She said it.

Why’d she have to say it?

I could tell she meant it. It wasn’t the same thing as seeing I Love Edward Cullen written on

people’s binders when we were in 7th grade. It scared the shit out of me.

What the hell is love anyway? And did I… love her too?

No. At least I didn’t think so.

I shook my head at her. “I don’t know what you want me to say.”

“Nothing.”

Bella just stood there and stared at me. I had to say something.

“Well, I don’t love you. That’s why I didn’t want you saying it.”

Maybe it was a bad choice of words. Maybe I should’ve said “I don’t know if I love you, that’s why I

didn’t want you saying it.”

Bella looked down at the floor. And I saw her chest heave. And then her eyes closed and… fuck.

She was crying. I made her cry.

I felt like a fucking douchebag.

“Shit… don’t…”

I walked over to her and hugged her, because I didn’t know what else to do. I stuck my fingers in

her wet hair, and I pulled her head so it was crushed against my body, and I tried to make the best of

the fucked up mess I made of the situation.

Bella kept crying.

“That doesn’t mean I don’t care about you. And, maybe I will, eventually- I mean, I’m sure that I

will, but… I’ve never said that to a girl, because I’ve never felt that strong about anyone, and I

don’t want to lie to you. I‘ve never even had a real girlfriend before, Bella. Give me a break, here.”

Bella pulled away from me and wiped the tears from her face.

“Stay,” I told her, pulling at her jacket. She didn’t fight me, so I took it all the way off, and she

dropped her purse to the ground, and I tossed her jacket somewhere and sat down on my bed.

I’d been such a dick. I yelled at her for fucking teasing me and not letting me fuck her, and the

reason she didn’t want to was because she didn’t just want to fuck me. She loved me. She thought I

was different.

And I fucking proved to her that I was the asshole she thought I was all along.

“I don’t want you to leave,” I murmured to her. I motioned for her to sit next to me, and she

hesitantly walked over and fell onto the bed.

I grabbed her hand and I kissed the tips of her fingers, and I smiled at her.

“Please don’t be upset. It’s gonna be okay- we’ll be okay,” I told her. Because as much as I tried

avoiding it, or she tried fighting me, the two of us were “we” now. Boyfriend and girlfriend or not,

we were still something.

“I don’t want this to change anything,” she choked out between her tears. “I just wanted you to

know how I feel. How serious I am… about us.”

“It won’t change anything,” I told her. I whispered it into her ear, and used my thumb to wipe away

the last of the tears that had fallen under her eye. “If it means anything to you… I have stronger

feelings for you then I’ve ever had for anyone before. It’s kind of… freaking me out. I don’t know

what I’m supposed to do.”

“Me neither,” she said with a shrug.

I sighed and looked up at the ceiling, and then I got down on the floor and kneeled between her

legs.

“So, what do you want to do now?”

I put my hands on her knees and looked at her. At her huge, brown, red eyes. That I’d made red

because she was crying. Asshole.

“Nothing. Do you care if we just… sleep? I know it’s early, but-”

“No, it’s okay. We can sleep.”

Bella crawled up my bed and slid under the covers. I climbed in next to her, and she nestled up

against my side, running her fingers through my hair and getting rid of all the tension between us.

We didn’t so much as sleep as we did just lay there with each other, not talking, just touching and

innocently kissing and enjoying each other.

The sound of the alarm on Bella’s cell phone woke me from my stress induced slumber. I sat up and

looked around, but she wasn’t in the bed. It was still dark outside. There was the faint sound of

water coming from my bathroom, so I grudgingly climbed out of bed and hauled myself toward the

noise.

“Hey,” Bella said when she saw me appear in the doorway. “I used your toothbrush.”

“Gross.”

She shut the water off and patted her face with a towel as I shoved her out of the way with my

elbow and put toothpaste on my community toothbrush.

“Why the fuck are we awake right now?” I asked, my mouth full of foam.

“You have to bring me home before Charlie gets up.”

“What time is it even?”

“Uh… did my alarm go off?”

I nodded.

“Then it’s 5:30.”

5:30? What in fuck’s sake was I doing awake at 5:30? On a Saturday, for that matter.

“I’m not looking forward to this ride home,” I mumbled, spitting into the sink.

“You and me both. My ass still hurts.”

She sighed and I caught a glimpse of her in the mirror, and she still looked pretty fucking somber,

so before she could walk out I grabbed her wrist and pulled her toward me.

I spit the water out that I’d been gargling and I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand.

“Bel. You’re not still upset, are you?”

She shook her head.

“You’re making me feel like shit, here.”

“Sorry. I’m fine.”

Then she forced a smile and kissed me before going back into my bedroom.

*

“What the fuck are you doing?” I asked her, rubbing my hands together to try and warm them up. It

was brick outside and I still had to ride all the way home.

“I’m knitting. What the fuck does it look like I’m doing? Trying to get back up this fucking, piece

of shit, stupid motherfucking tree-”

I shook my head as her foot slipped from the bark and she cussed like a sailor, kicking poor Ashley

like it was her fault or something Bella was ungraceful.

“Alright, enough.” I walked over and pointed at a ridge I’d make with a rock. “See that? Put your

foot in there and then just throw your other leg over the first branch. It’s easier that way.”

“Listen, Dickward, I can do this myself. And anyway, that mark is adjacent to my head. How the

fuck am I supposed to put my foot up there?”

“Okay, you Midol deficient bitch. For starters, you can apologize for calling me Dickward.”

“Sorry for calling you Dickward… Fuckward.”

I shook my head. “No.”

“Okay, sorry.”

She didn’t mean it, but I helped her grouchy ass anyway. I grabbed her face and smooshed my lips

against hers roughly.

“You’re unpleasant in the morning. Step on my hand, I’ll give you a boost.” I crouched down and

lifted her up. Bella stuck her foot in the ridge and I palmed her ass, shoving her again so she could

step on the first branch. I watched as she climbed up the next one and into the window without any

catastrophes.

“I’ll be back later,” I whispered. She mumbled something and slammed the window shut. Bitch.

I made my way back home and fell asleep again. I didn’t wake up until I heard someone knocking

on my door.

“What?” I grumbled at Jasper, who was standing in the hallway. He lifted up a plastic bag and

pushed past me into my room.

“It’s 1:00 you lazy fuck. We have some serious partying ahead of us. Why aren’t you drinking yet?”

I scratched my head and frowned as he started dumping out whatever was in the bag onto my bed.

“I had a rough night.”

“Rough night meaning rough sex? Because that’s the only legit excuse for not coming over

yesterday, you pussy whipped bitch.”

“Yeah, I wish.” I picked up a fake gold star that he took out of the bag and looked at him. “What the

fuck is this crap?”

“My costume, douche. Here, I picked this up for you.”

He handed me some plastic vampire teeth and I shoved them into my mouth.

“Ey won eben go ep I gawing bet.”

“English please?”

I pulled the teeth out and tossed them in the air.

“I don’t even know if I’m going yet.”

He stared at me blankly for a second before he started laughing. “That’s funny. You’re fucking

funny. Why the hell wouldn’t you- ohhhh, because of Bella Vita. Pussy whipped bitch.”

“Fuck off. You think I can drink with these in?” I asked, holding up the teeth.

“You’re going. Look at what I stole from Big Daddy W.” He pulled a bottle of Kauffman’s Luxury

Elite from the bag and handed it to me. “It’s your favorite. Stop being a bitch.”

I looked down at the $200 bottle of vodka in my hands and I thought about it. What was one night?

I could spend the day with Bella and just go to the party with Jasper and go back to her in the

morning.

I shrugged.

“Fine.”

And then I cracked the bottle open and took a long deep chug. I needed it.

I picked up some weird leather shit from my bed and inspected it. “Seriously, what the fuck is this?”

“Leather chaps. I’m gonna be a cowboy. Yeeeeee-hawwwwwww!”

I cringed and threw the porno looking shit back on my bed.

“Speaking of, that’s why I came here. I need one of your ugly flannel, plaid, whatever shirt deals

that I always make fun of.”

I pointed toward my closet and took another chug of the vodka.

“So,” Jasper yelled from my closet. “What’s the deal with the Swan anyway?”

“She told me she loved me,” I muttered, scrolling through my cell phone.

Two missed calls from Jessica. A text from Lauren. A text from some random junior that I

accidentally fucked at last year’s party. And my personal favorite, a text from Bella of a picture of

her boobs. Guess she wasn’t mad anymore.

“What?” Jasper stuck his head out of the closet and looked at me, shocked.

“Yeah, my feelings exactly.”

He started hysterically laughing and I winged his fucking gold star at his face.

“Watch it, fucker. So… did you say it back?” He tried to hold back his laughter but a chuckle

slipped out.

“No.”

“Wow. I’m sure that conversation wasn’t awkward.”

“You’re a dickhead, I don’t even know why I said anything to you.”

“I’m just joking with you.” He walked out of my closet, wearing one of my shirts. “I mean, do you?

Like… love her?”

I looked down at my feet and threw my arms up in the air, exasperated.

“I don’t know! What the fuck is love anyway? Is it really really wanting to fuck someone, so badly

that you’re ready to rip your hair out? Because if so, then yeah, I love her.”

“Ehhh… I think it’s more then that.” Jasper ran his finger along one of the rows of CDs on my

bookshelf and pulled one out. “Can I have this?”

“Yeah, I don’t care,” I muttered, not even looking at him. “What would you have said? Like if

someone said that shit to you and you didn’t know if you felt it.”

Jasper took a deep breath and raised his eyebrows.

“I’d say, ‘Thanks baby… let me show you how I feel about you with a little anal pleasure’.”

I ignored him and started getting dressed.

“Okay, for real… I’d say… uh… hmm. I’d say, ‘I feel really strongly about you, too. But I don’t

throw around words like that lightly, and I want you to know I really mean it when I say it, not just

because you said it to me.’ Or something like that. Why, what’d you say? You should wear a black

shirt. You’re a fucking vampire.”

“Well, first I tried to stop her from saying it. And then I said something like, ‘Well I don’t love you

and that’s why I didn’t want you to say it.’ She’s right. I am Dickward.”

“Ouch. That’s harsh,” Jasper said. “Maybe you shouldn’t go to the party.”

“Too late. I already started drinking, and I have these teeth and everything. I have no choice.” I

poured out a bottle of water into my sink and filled it up with vodka.

Jasper shook his head and jiggled his keys in his hand.

“Alright. Well, if you want I’ll drop you off there now and me and Alice will come pick you up on

the way there. I feel like you have a lot of groveling to do.”

“Yeah, you’re right, let’s go.”

*

“Can I pick the song?” Bella asked me, sticking an earbud in her ear.

“Sure.”

I laid down next to her and put the other one in my ear.

She settled on Wind Cries Mary. I should’ve taken it as an creepy foreshadowing of the shit that was

about to go down that night.

“I like this song.”

“Me too,” I told her.

I sighed and looked up at the ceiling. I was shot. Bella pounced on me as soon as I climbed through

the window and a couple BJs and a few sessions of muff diving later, I was ready to call it quits. I

chugged the rest of the vodka in my water bottle and tossed it onto the floor.

All of a sudden my phone started ringing, interrupting the song. Jasper. Bella left the earbud in her

ear- big mistake- as I answered it. I still hadn’t told her I was planning on going to the party.

“Yooo.”

“Hey, Romeo. Hope I’m not interrupting any hardcore lovemaking.”

“Nope.”

“Bummer. So, you ready to roll, or what?”

Bella frowned at me, but I pretended like I didn’t see her.

“Yeah.”

“Alright, we’ll be there in a jiff.”

I hung up the iPhone and Bella sat up, letting the headphone drop on my chest.

“Ummm… you’re going?”

I shrugged and pulled my plastic teeth out of my pocket, making them click a couple times. She

wasn’t amused.

“I have my costume. I gotta make an appearance.”

“That’s not a costume. Those are 50 cent plastic fucking teeth.”

“You overlooked my black shirt,” I said, pointing at my chest.

Bella huffed and stood up from the bed.

“This isn’t funny, Edward. You know I can’t go. Please stay with me.”

Maybe if I wasn’t tanked, Bella’s begging would’ve done some good, but alcohol did strange things

to me. For some reason, I didn’t give a shit. At all.

I sighed and scratched my head, sitting up.

“I’m going, Bella. I’m sorry.”

“You’re not sorry! If you were sorry you wouldn’t leave me here, alone!”

She crossed her arms over her chest and sneered at me.

“Okay, then I’m not sorry. I’m still going.”

She huffed again and sat down on her desk chair.

“Remember what you said about trying? That doesn’t only include when it’s convenient for you.

These are things that boyfriends do for girlfriends. They stay with them when they’re grounded and

can’t go to parties!”

“You’re right. But, I’m not your boyfriend, so…”

She was livid. Her face was turning red and she kept flipping her hair behind her shoulders.

“Yeah, maybe this is why.”

“I’ve been with you all day. I’m with you every day. Just let me have a couple hours to myself, to be

with my friends. What’s the big fucking deal?”

She was agitating me, so I sat up and started putting on my shoes. I could wait outside for Jasper.

“You’re with your friends all the time! And so what if you’re with me every day, you act like you’re

doing me a favor or something. You come here because you want to, not because I make you! And

it’s the principle of it. If you cared about me at all, you wouldn’t make me be upset over something

I don’t have to be upset over.”

“Don’t pull that card,” I said, looking around the room to make sure I had all my stuff. “Don’t try

and make me feel guilty over this.”

“You should feel guilty, you selfish fuck.”

“Yeah, whatever, call me names. It’s not gonna do anything except piss me off more.”

“Good, you should be pissed off. You’re an egotistical, self-centered son of a bitch.”

“Blah, blah, blah.”

I waved my hand at her, indifferently, and shrugged her off.

“Please, Edward. Please stay with me. Please don’t go.”

She tried to change her game up, and grabbed my hand, but it wasn’t fooling me. I yanked it out of

her grasp and took a step back.

“Don’t try and be nice to me after you’re all bossing me around and shit. I do everything for you. If

someone’s a selfish fuck it’s you- making me feel bad about wanting to be with my friends because

you’re grounded. Sorry you’re punished, but I’m not.”

And then she broke out the tears, and I felt really bad. But that was her purpose, so I just shook my

head at her and tried to make nice before I left.

“Bella, let’s be honest here. You don’t care that I’m leaving you here. You’re just worried that I’m

gonna do something behind your back.”

“Because you probably will.”

“No, I won’t. What the fuck is your problem, anyway? When have I given you a reason not to trust

me?”

She didn’t say anything, she just sat there, hiccupping.

“Yeah, exactly. If you don’t trust me, then what are we even doing?”

“I don’t know.”

“Me either,” I said.

I walked up to her and tried to kiss her but she shoved me back by my shoulders so I couldn’t.

“Fine,” I mumbled, shaking my head. “If that’s how you want to be, fine.”

I walked to the window and jumped down, not looking back.

*

BPOV

“Bella, what’s the matter?”

Charlie leaned against the counter next to me and put his hand on my shoulder.

“Nothing.”

I grabbed a couple plates from the cabinet and started setting the table. I made dinner just to distract

myself and keep my mind off Edward. That motherfucker. He was the devil.

“You’re crying,” Charlie said, not moving from his spot but following me around the kitchen with

his eyes.

I shrugged.

“Being trapped in this house is making my emotions all crazy.” I walked over to the oven and

pulled out the pan, checking to see if the food was done. “You can sit down, it’s ready.”

Charlie sighed and walked to the table hesitantly. I set the pan on the table and dropped the oven

mitts next to it before sitting down.

“Bella… is this about Edward?”

Charlie flipped through the pile of mail on the table, not looking at me.

“I don’t know.”

“What the hell did he do? I’ll call Carlisle right now-”

“He didn’t do anything, Dad. I’m just… I didn’t want him to go to the party because I couldn’t go,

and of course he went, I mean- what’s he supposed to do, sit at home alone when all his friends are

there just because I’m in trouble?”

Charlie shook his head as he read through a letter. “Why would you care if he went to the party?”

“Because,” I swallowed the food in my mouth and shrugged. “I love him. And… Every girl likes

Edward. I don’t want him being around other girls when I’m not there.”

I was trying to play the sympathy card with Charlie, even though I knew he wanted to put a stake

through Edward’s heart, especially after my little love confession. But I didn’t have anyone to talk

to, and I felt like he was at least trying to be understanding.

“You know how I feel about Edward, Bella. This is why I told you to stay away from him. No good

can come of hanging around with a boy like him.”

“I know,” I agreed, looking down at my plate. Charlie suddenly cleared his throat and I heard him

unfolding a paper.

“Great. This is a letter from your school. What’d you do now?”

Hmm… well, I threw gum in Jessica’s hair… got drunk during class… skipped class to make out

with Edward in the music wing bathroom… skipped school altogether to fool around with Edward

at his house… I could’ve kept going and going.

“Who knows.”

I watched Charlie’s face as he silently read the letter. Suddenly, the corner of his mouth turned up

and he shook his head.

“It’s your mid-term progress report.”

“Oh.”

“Bella, you have A’s in all your classes.”

“Yeah, are you surprised?” I said unenthusiastically. Maybe I misbehaved, but I didn’t fuck around

when it came to school. I wanted to get the hell away from my parents as soon as physically

possible. AKA- college.

“Actually, yeah.”

I just shrugged and continued eating. Charlie frowned and had wrinkles in his forehead, and he

scratched his head and then he slapped the paper onto the table and waved his hand at me.

“Fine. You want to go to the party, go.”

My head snapped up and my eyes almost bugged out of my head. Was I hearing him right?

“What?”

“Go. Just… go ahead, you’ve learned your lesson.”

“Oh my god! Thanks Charlie!” I hopped up from my seat and hugged him, planted a kiss on his

cheek, and jetted up the stairs to my room. I called Angela, and luckily she was about to leave her

house, so she said she’d come pick me up.

I didn’t have a costume, and I didn’t give a shit. I wanted to see Edward. We’d never argued like

that before, and it made me feel all crappy inside, and I had a weird feeling in my stomach every

time I thought about it, so I wanted to tell him I was sorry, and that I did trust him, and that I was a

psycho bitch and he wasn’t a stupid selfish fuck or an egotistical son of a bitch or a motherfucker or

the devil or whatever other names I might’ve called him.

The two hour ride to the cabin was torture. Luckily Angela thought ahead and shared her bottle with

me, since she could tell I was buggin a little bit. I was tipsy as hell by the time we pulled up to the

creepy ass cabin, which was completely decked out in Halloween decorations.

“Nice job with the décor,” I complimented Angela.

“Thanks.” She parked her car and grabbed the bottle from my lap, taking a long, hardcore chug of

the vodka. I was impressed with her.

I spotted Jasper’s car parked in the front lawn, so that meant Edward was there. My heart was

beating out of my chest for some reason. As soon as we walked in the house, some herb bombarded

us and made us take a bunch of Jell-O shots. I was already woozy, but I did them anyway.

I pushed through the crowds of drunk ass morons, trying to find Edward. Suddenly, I heard a high

pitched squeal behind me and I spun around.

“Bella! What the hell are you doing here!”

“Charlie let me come,” I told Alice. She handed me her cup and I took a gulp before giving it back

to her. “Have you seen Edward?”

“He’s around here somewhere, being a wasted retard and biting people with his stupid fangs,”

Rosalie quipped, hiccupping.

Her and Alice were both ridiculously drunk. And their outfits were hysterical. Rosalie was… a

flapper I’m guessing? I didn’t know flappers wore corsets or sequins, but it was the only thing that

made sense with the fringe and the feather in her hair. And Alice was a cowgirl… albeit, one that

looked like she just stepped out of Playboy, but a cowgirl she was. I could tell by the boots and the

hat.

“Love the getups,” I told them, before I walked away and kept searching for Drunkward.

I walked through a doorway into the kitchen and I got some fake spider web shit stuck in my hair. I

heard chuckling and when I looked up, Jasper and Emmett were staring at me.

“Sweet outfit, Jasper. I see you gave in to Alice. Way to stand strong.” I held up my fist and he

flipped me the double bird.

“What the fuck are you even doing here? I thought you were on lockdown,” Emmett said, handing

me yet another drink. It was almost empty, so I finished it off.

“Charlie got my mid-term grades and I had all A’s so I think he felt bad,” I told them, slurring every

other word. I was beyond trying to act coherent.

“And what the hell did you do to the Cullenator? Dude looked like he just came from a funeral. It

took like 15 drinks before he calmed down.”

I looked at Emmett and shrugged.

“I don’t know. Where is he?”

I didn’t feel like explaining my bitch attack.

“He’s somewhere. Probably beating up Newton or something.”

“Ehh, I’m gonna go look for him,” I said. Jasper and Emmett waved and walked through the door

that I had just come through, leaving me in the crowded kitchen.

“Hey, Bella.” I sneered and turned my head when I heard Lauren’s voice.

“Hi.”

“Edward’s not here.”

I rolled my eyes and took a couple steps closer to her.

“What?”

“I heard you ask Emmett and Jasper where he was. And he’s not here.” She smirked and took a sip

of her wine cooler. Bitch. Who the fuck drinks wine coolers at a party like that?

“How the hell would you know?”

“Oh, maybe because I saw him leave. With Jessica. Just before you got here.”

She grinned and cocked her head to the side, and my fists clenched. I spun around and walked

away, because if I stayed there, I would’ve decked that stupid fucking bitch in the throat and

probably killed her.

As I stomped out of the kitchen, Angela saw me and she grabbed my arm.

“What’s the matter?”

“Lauren just told me Edward left. With Jessica.”

“I don’t believe it,” she said. “I’ll call her.”

Angela pulled her cellphone out of her pocket and dialed. I stood there, shaking, and feeling like I

was going to puke. If it was true, I was going to hurl. There’d be no helping it.

“Hey, I just got here, where are you?” Angela looked down at the floor and pressed her hand against

her open ear so she could hear the bitch on the other end. “What? Why? No… where are you going?

That’s ridiculous… I can’t believe you left!… So what, Jessica, that’s stupid… He doesn’t even-…

Fine, whatever.”

She hung up the phone and put it back in her pocket before looking up at me.

“I’m sorry, Bella… don’t be upset.”

I didn’t say anything, I just ran outside and puked in some of Ben’s bushes. And then I stood there

and cried my fucking eyes out like a little baby because I let Edward Cullen, that fucking dirtbag,

get to me.

I told him I loved him.

And he left the party to be with another girl.

I didn’t know what to do. I wanted to scream. I wanted to yell. I wanted to beat the shit out of him,

and her, and I wanted to drink my face off to drown away all my pain.

I was so fucking pathetic. It was so unlike me to be influenced by anyone, and I let him do it. I let

him take full control of my emotions, and I felt like a fucking idiot. He played me. And I knew

better. I knew how he was, and I was stupid enough to fucking believe him when he told me he

would change for me. It was such bullshit. I almost wanted to go back to Arizona, just to get away

from all the bullshit and lies and backstabbing people that I couldn’t trust.

“Bella, what the fuck happened?”

Jasper grabbed my shoulder and I wrapped my arms around his neck and cried.

“He left,” I sobbed. “With Jessica!”

“No way,” Jasper said, shocked. “No fucking way. He wouldn’t do that.”

“He did do it! Lauren told me, and Angela called Jessica and they were together… what the fuck,

Jasper? Why would he do it?”

Jasper rubbed my back and sighed.

“I don’t know, Bella. That’s fucking weird. The kid’s obsessed with you, I don’t know why-”

“It’s my fault. I messed up. I told him I loved him, and I scared him away, and-”

“No, that’s not true.” He led me to a lawn chair on the patio and kneeled down next to me. “I went

to his house this afternoon and he was freaking out because he felt bad about whatever he said to

you yesterday. He wasn’t scared at all. If anything he was… confused. I asked him if he loved you

and he told me he didn’t know. He’s all fucked up in the head because of how he feels about you.

I’m sure this is just… a mistake. A misunderstanding, or something. There has to be a reason. He

doesn’t even like Jessica.”

“Yeah, he doesn’t like her yet he’s willing to risk everything with me to go and fool around with

her.”

Jasper shrugged and scratched the back of his head.

“Look… I promise you, tomorrow I’ll talk to him and sort this shit out. Don’t worry about it. You’re

just assuming the worst. Did you try calling him?”

“No. I don’t want to talk to him.”

He sighed. “Okay… well, uh… you want to go take some shots?”

“Yes.”

*

“Bella, get up.”

I felt someone shaking me awake.

My head felt like someone had run it over and then backed the car up over me, and then ran over me

again.

I looked around at the unfamiliar bedroom and tried to find my bearings. I clenched my eyes shut

and thought back hard to the night before.

Edward.

A fight.

Charlie.

The party.

A flapper and a cowgirl.

Edward leaving with Jessica.

Vomit.

Taking shots with Jasper.

That was as far as I got.

I cringed when I looked over and saw who was shaking me.

What the fuck did I do?

Only then did I realize I was naked under the blanket.

I grabbed my clothes from his hand and he turned around, giving me privacy to get dressed.

FUCK.
FUCK.

DOUBLE FUCK.

“What the fuck,” I murmured under my breath. I slipped my shoes on and glanced around the room

for anything else of mine. When I pulled my phone out of my pocket I had a list of missed called

from Edward. He’d called seven times.

Seven.

“I have to get the fuck out of here,” I said, and I ran toward the door. The house was bustling with

people who’d spent the night, and no one looked twice at me as I searched around for Angela or

Alice or Rosalie or someone.

“Bella! There you are!” Rosalie called my name from the foyer and waved me over. “We’re leaving.

Are you coming with us?”

I nodded at her and Alice, who looked half dead.

Jasper and Emmett came walking into the room, and they both gave me the fucking stare down.

Oh, God.

Edward.

How did everything with Edward get so fucked up in such a short span of time? How the hell did it

go from me telling him that I love him to me hating his fucking guts and never wanting to see him

again the next day?

And, yeah, sleeping with someone else was skanky, but if he hadn’t left with Jessica first and forced

me to get upset and drink excessively it wouldn’t have happened. Technically, it was his fault.

Everything was all his fault.

Not that it mattered, anyway. I never wanted to see him again. Ever.

It was over.

13.Compuction

EPOV

I shouldn’t have even gone to the stupid fucking party.

It was a mistake.

“… And then, Mike was like, ‘Jessica, you’re getting pulled over!’ and I started freaking out,

because if I got a ticket, my Dad would…”

Blah, blah, blah.

I opened and shut my jaw repeatedly, making my plastic fangs click. I counted the magnets on the

refrigerator behind Jessica’s head and pretended like I was listening to her worthless babble. I didn’t

give a shit about what she was talking about. I didn’t give a shit about her. All I kept thinking about

was Bella.

Bella.

Dammit, what the hell was the point of even coming to the party if she wasn’t here? I should’ve

stayed with her. I should’ve not acted like a fucking dipshit and stayed with her. And now she was

all pissed at me and I was pretty sure we had a break up, even though we weren’t really dating.

Fuck. Fuck me. Fuck my stupid, stupid, drunk fucking brain.

“Here, Cullen.” Ben handed me a drink and I sighed.

“Thanks.”

“No problem. Jessica, are you sure you don’t want anything?”

“Yeah, I can’t drink tonight. I have a swim meet in the morning. Ohmygod, Edward, did I tell you

about what happened last week? So, I was on my way…”

I drowned out whatever garbage Jessica was talking about and chugged my drink as fast as I could.

As soon as it was empty, I handed the Solo cup back to Ben for a refill. He laughed at me and made

a face at Jessica behind her back before handing me back the full cup.

I’d had enough of her yammering, so I muttered a “Uh huh” and started walking away to find

Jasper. Bitch was fucking irritating. She’d followed me around since I’d walked through the door

without Bella, and even though I was drunk, I still wanted to bitch slap her and send her on her way.

That took too much effort though, and I couldn’t be bothered, so I just kept ignoring her to give her

a hint. She didn’t get it.

I spotted Alice and Rosalie in their Hustler wear, so I snuck up behind them and bit the back of

Alice’s arm as hard as I could with my fangs. She swatted at my head and pretty much ignored me.

“Where’s Jasper?”

“Outside with Emmett,” Rosalie answered quickly before going back to her conversation.

I started to make my way toward the back door when I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned around

and tried not to roll my eyes when I saw who was standing there.

“Hey Edward. Where’s your girlfriend?”

It was the junior tramp. I don’t even know what the fuck her real name was. She was seriously in

my phone under “Junior Tramp.” I think her name was Tanya, or something pornish like that.

“I don’t have a girlfriend,” I told her, unenthusiastically. Stupid bitch.

“Mmmm, you look sad. I can make you feel better if you want…”

She reached down and grabbed my crotch and… I pulled away from her.

What the hell? Did I just deny some hottie, albeit a skank, but a hottie who was willing to fool

around with me right then because I felt bad? When did I grow a conscience?

Bella. It was because of her.

Because I was fucking obsessed with Bella.

I had to see her.

I pushed past Junior Tramp Tanya and made a beeline for the backdoor, pushing whatever tools got

in my way. Emmett and Jasper were outside smoking, and yelling and hollering at some douche

who was funneling liquor. Not a smart idea, buddy. I tried it once and ended up in the ER.

“Yo, I need to get out of here.”

They both looked at me and laughed.

“Yeah, good luck. There’s not one sober person at this party,” Emmett shouted.

That wasn’t true. Fuck.

It would be easy to con Jessica into giving me a ride back to Forks. But was it worth it, having to sit

in the car with her for two hours and listen to her mindless jabber?

Yes. The answer was yes. I would’ve given my left nut to go and see Bella right then.

I groaned and ripped Jasper’s drink out of his hands, chugging the whole thing before handing him

back the empty cup.

“You look like the star of a gay western porno,” I told him, staggering back into the house. Stupid

fucking cowboy costume.

It was easy to find Jessica’s big, frizzy ass hair in the crowd. She was standing with Lauren, another
slut I had no desire to communicate with, near the front door. Was she drinking a wine cooler? Fuck

my life.

“Hey,” I said to Jessica, shoving Lauren out of the way. “You want to get out of here?”

“Um… I just got here a little while ago, Edward.”

“And? Take me to your house.”

Jessica lived down the street from Bella, so I could easily just skip across a few yards and get there

no problem.

Lauren looked along and eavesdropped on our conversation, the gossiping bitch that she was, but it

didn’t really matter. I’d explain everything to Bella once I got to her house. Still, it didn’t stop me

from having the desire to shove the wine cooler down her throat.

“Okay… yeah, let’s go.” She started walking into the kitchen but I grabbed the back of her shirt.

“Where the fuck are you going?”

“To say bye,” she said timidly.

“No. Not necessary. Let’s go.”

I didn’t need her going around telling everyone she was leaving with me.

I got in the passenger seat of Jessica’s shitty Eclipse and reclined the seat all the way back. I

planned on taking a little nap for most of the ride.

She didn’t shut the fuck up for more than 30 seconds. I was ready to drop and roll out of the car

while we were on the highway. She kept going on about some gross Victoria’s Secret lingerie shit

that she wanted to try on for me, but the thought of it made me want to gag. I tried to think about it.

I even thought of her body with a bag over her head. It wasn’t working.

When we pulled into her driveway, I shot up from my catnap. I opened the door and stood in her

driveway, trying to plan my escape.

“We have to be quiet. You should climb through the window, Edward.”

Ha! She made it too easy. I almost felt bad. Almost.

“Yeah, okay, I’ll meet you inside.”

I waited until she had closed the front door before I booked it the fuck out of there. She called my

cell twice before I got to Bella’s, but I just ignored it. I sighed and looked up at the tree, trying to

think up my apology.

Sorry, Bella. I’m a loser. Forgive me?

Ehh, I’d just wing it when I got inside.

I climbed up that shit effortlessly, proud of my newly developed skills. When I jumped in the

window, her door was closed, but the light was on. I laid down on her bed and waited, figuring

she’d just gone downstairs or something.

I waited and waited and waited. I waited so long I fell asleep. I shot up when I felt my phone

buzzing.

Fuck you.

It was a text from Jessica.

I looked at the clock.

1:45.

I figured I’d call Bella, since I didn’t know where the fuck she was and I wasn’t gonna sit in her bed

and wait anymore.
She didn’t answer.

I tried calling a bunch more times, and finally I just gave up.

What the fuck? Where the hell could she be? She was grounded.

I climbed down the tree and walked home. It was a long fucking walk. I was exhausted. I would’ve

tried hitch hiking except that no cars passed me the entire time. Not one.

I walked into my house and went straight upstairs, collapsing into my bed face down, and not even

bothering to take my shoes off before I fell asleep.

The first thing I did when I got up was try to call Bella again. The bitch finally answered.

“Edward, I don’t want you calling my phone again. I’m serious.” There were voices in the

background and it sounded like she was in a car.

“Whoa. Calm down. What the fuck did I do?”

“You know what you did, scumbag.”

I frowned and thought about the night before. Did she find out about me leaving with Jessica? How

could she have?

“No, I don’t actually.”

“Oh, well let me refresh your memory. You left the party with Jessica.”

Okay, guess she did.

“You’re a dirtbag. I’m done, Edward. That’s it. You fucked me over, and I’m done. Just leave me

alone.”

“Uh, can I explain myself?”

“No. Fuck you.”

And with that she hung up on me. I tried calling back a few more times, tossing my dignity to the

backburner, but she didn’t answer, and then she just turned her phone completely off.

God dammit. There was no way she was gonna believe me, even if I did tell her the truth. She

probably heard from someone that I left with Jessica, and she assumed whatever, and that was it. I

was fucked.

I wanted to drink myself into an oblivion, but instead I just took off my shoes and put on some dark,

moping music, and got under my blankets, pulling them over my head to block out the light. I tried

thinking up a way to fix this shit, but my mind was blank. There was no way to fix it.

I planned on just lying in bed and moping forever.

Sometime in the afternoon, I heard my door open. I didn’t bother taking the blanket off my head. I

felt someone poke my back and then suddenly the blanket disappeared, and I threw my arms over

my head to hide myself.

“Uhh… Paint it Black? I love The Stones and everything, but what the fuck, Cullen? Did someone

die or something?”

“Yeah. My soul,” I murmured into my pillow.

Jasper walked away and I heard the keyboard clicking, so I figured he was at my desk.

“A little melodramatic, don’t you think? You brought this shit on yourself,” he said, with no

sympathy at all. Shitty fucking friend.

“I’m assuming you talked to her?”

“Talked to her? Yeah, dude. I was with her all night while you were off with Madame Herpe.”

I sat up and frowned. That shit pissed me off.

“You don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about- wait, she was there?”

“Yeah. Chief Swan unlocked the chains.”

“Oh, fuck. God hates me.”

“No, you make your own choices, bro. You fucked up. Bad. You should’ve seen her. She had a mini

breakdown. No, that’s a lie. She had a full blown breakdown.”

I put my head in my heads and shook my head.

“It wasn’t even what you think.”

Jasper spun around to me and raised an eyebrow.

“How so?”

“Jessica was the only sober person I could find. I didn’t touch her. It’s actually a pretty funny story.

I made her think I was gonna go fool around with her at her house, and she told me to climb

through the window, because you know, she has that fucking lattice thing- anyway, not important-

she went inside and I fucking ran. That’s where the funny part ends, because then I waited in Bella’s

room for hours and the bitch was at the party and I had to walk all the way home.”

Jasper just kind of looked at me, dumbfounded. And he looked kind of… irate. I think he thought I

was lying. I don’t know what kind of little camaraderie him and Bella were forming, but I didn’t

like it.

“Are you being serious right now?”

“Yep.”

“Swear you’re not lying?”

“Swear on Esme.”

He stood up and shook his head, and opened his mouth to say something. And then he didn’t. And

then he got all pissed at me and raised his voice.

“Why the fuck wouldn’t you tell one of us?! Do you know what you did to that poor girl yesterday?

Fuck!”

“I don’t know, I was drunk. I’m an asshole.”

“Yeah, you are. I have to go. Man… you better think of a way to fix this. I think the two of you

need to talk about shit.”

“She won’t talk to me.”

“Well… I’m not getting involved with this anymore. Figure out your shit.”

He slammed my door and left.

*

Monday mornings were the worst. I leaned against the lockers with Jasper outside of Spanish while

he switched his books around or some shit. I was waiting for Bella, since she still wasn’t taking any

of my calls and when I went to her house and climbed the tree, her window was locked and the

curtains were closed and there was a nice piece of looseleaf taped to the window that said “Go

Away Edward” in her endearing chicken scratch.

“Dude, you look like death. Ever heard of shaving? Or maybe… showering?” Jasper sneered at me

and slammed his locker shut.

“Fuck you.”

“It was just a suggestion.”

“Yeah, well… I’m in a depression. Shaving and showering isn’t on my list of priorities. Drinking

and sleeping and punching people are.” I banged my fist against the lockers lightly to prove my

point and he raised an eyebrow at me.

“That’ll win her back. Smelling like shit and looking like a strung out hobo. Good strategy.”

I grabbed the front of my shirt and pulled it up to my nose.

“I don’t smell, do I?”

“You look like you do.”

“Ehhh, whatever.” I groaned and leaned my head against the locker, closing my eyes. All of a

sudden I heard some kind of commotion, and Jasper shook my arm.

“Shit, Cullen- something’s about to go down. Maybe you should step in.”

I opened my eyes and saw a crowd of people blocking the hallway and shouting. Jasper pushed his

way through and I hesitantly followed behind him. I heard Bella’s voice and my heart sped up.

“…you’re a nasty, filthy skank, you jealous, pathetic bitch!”

I only caught the end of her sentence. Her eyes met mine for a second and I tried to say something,

but then I heard Jessica’s voice. And that was when all hell broke loose.

“Listen, Bella, I know you’re jealous that Edward left with me, and I know that you thought you
were special or something, but just face the facts. He doesn’t care about you. You’re no different

than any other girl he fools around with.”

I saw Bella’s face turn red. She squinted her eyes and then- SLAM!

It happened in a split second. The slam was Jessica’s body being thrown up against the locker.

“Oh, shit! Girl fight!” Jasper shouted and pulled my arm to the front of the huddle of screaming

douchebags. “Cullen, we gotta break it up!”

Jasper and I watched as Bella decked Jessica in the face a couple times, and Jessica screamed, and

there was a bunch of flailing arms and hair pulling and kicking and SLAM, Bella pushed her into the

locker again by her throat.

Holy shit.

Jasper grabbed Bella’s shoulders and pulled her back enough so I could step in front of her.

And then, SCHWACK!

“Oww! What the fuck, Bella?”

“Get out of my way, Edward!” She growled at me. I put my hand up to my eye and winced quickly.

She punched me in the face. That shit hurt.

“Come on, Bella, it’s not worth it. She was just trying to get to you,” Jasper told her. “She’s just

jealous.”

“Fuck you, Jasper!” Jessica shouted behind me.

“What’s going on here?” Mr. Banner pushed through the crowd and stomped up next to us. “Go to

class, NOW!” He screamed at all the onlookers.

Slowly everyone started disappearing and the hallway got quiet again.

“What happened?”

“She attacked me!” Jessica screamed, pointing at Bella.

I rolled my eyes and stepped to the side, so I wasn’t standing in Bella’s face anymore.

“Fuck you,” Bella muttered.

“Bella!” Banner looked at her. “I wouldn’t expect this from you.”

He shook his head and looked at me and Jasper.

“You two have something to do with this?”

I shook my head and Jasper spoke up. “No. We just broke it up.”

“Fine. Bella, come on,” he pointed down the hallway toward the Principal’s office. “One of you

take Jessica to the nurse.”

“Shotgun not me,” I said. Jasper chuckled and shook his head.

“You’re a big girl. You can find your way to the nurse’s office on your own. Take care of that lip.”

Jasper patted her on the back sarcastically and she sneered. She had a fat, bloody lip and her eye

was already starting to swell shut and there were scratches all over her face.

She got beat down.

Jasper and I walked into Spanish and sat down. Everyone was still talking about Bella’s ass kicking

and class hadn’t started yet.

“Yo, that wasn’t smart. You should’ve been nicer to Jessica,” Jasper suggested, slumping down in

his seat.

“What? Are you out of your mind?” I looked at Jasper, confused.

“Now she’s all pissed at you, and it’s gonna be your word against hers that the two of you didn’t

fool around that night. She’ll probably just lie to piss you off.”

“Whatever,” I shrugged. “I don’t even care. Did you see Bella? She hates me. She fucking punched

me in the face!”

Jasper started cracking up. “Yeah, that shit was funny. It’s looking a little swollen.”

“Fuck you.”

Class started and Bella never came back. Sometime near the middle of Goff’s lecture, I looked up

and Bella was across the hall, grabbing her jacket from her locker. I stood up and ran out of class.

“Bella,” I whispered, walking up next to her.

She didn’t even look at me.

“Are you okay? Why the fuck did you do that?”

“I told you to stay away from me,” she muttered, flipping through a binder, still not meeting my

eyes.

“You have to let me explain.”

“Nope. Go back to class, Edward.”

“Aren’t you coming?”

She stood up and sighed. “I got suspended for three days. So did your little girlfriend, so I guess

you’ll have to use your third string for the next couple days.”

“I didn’t do anything with her.”

She laughed.

“Okay, Edward. Bye.”

Bella slammed her locker shut and walked away down the hallway, not looking back.

*

“So, are you gonna tell me what’s wrong? Maybe I can help.”

I looked away from the TV and turned my head in Esme’s lap.

“No. Keep scratching.”

She sighed and moved her fingers around in my hair.

“Edward, I am a woman. I can give you advice.”

“I’m an asshole,” I grumbled, looking back at the TV.

“What happened? You’ve been moping around since the weekend. I notice these things.”

“Bella… it was just a big mix up. I went to a party Saturday and Bella was grounded and couldn’t

go, so we got in an argument. Then when I got to the party I feel like a dick, so I left with Jessica so

I could go Bella’s and say sorry… and she ended up going to the party and someone told her I left

with Jessica so she thinks…”

“Ahhhh,” Esme said. “Just talk to her and tell her what happened.”

“Yeah, Mom, it’s not that easy. She didn’t trust me in the first place. She thinks I’m a manwhore.”

Esme tsked and shook her head.

“That’s your own fault. Maybe if you weren’t so… promiscuous-”

“Your advice sucks,” I said, interrupting her.

“You just have to find a way to apologize. She’s probably angry, and hurt, so just let her calm down

a little bit and keep trying to explain yourself. Don’t just give up.”

“She comes back to school tomorrow. Maybe I’ll try to talk to her again.”

“Where was she?”

I laughed. “Oh, she got suspended… for beating up Jessica.”

Esme chuckled and shook her head. “Bella seems to be more like you than I thought.”

I shrugged and looked down at the stack of books by Esme’s feet.

“I have to do my homework.”

“Do you need help?”

“Not really. Actually, do you happen to know any poetry offhand? For English class we have to pick

a poem that means something to us and read it out loud and I hate poetry so I don’t know what the

fuck I’m gonna do.”

“Go look on the internet. Pick one that reminds you of Bella!”

I scratched my chin and sat up.

“Hmm. Good idea. She’s in that class. At least you gave me one scrap of useful advice,” I said,

rolling my eyes at her. I grabbed my stack of books and kissed the top of her head before retreating

upstairs to my room.

*

BPOV

I stood in front of the bathroom mirror, trying to wipe away the makeup that was running down my

face. I couldn’t stop crying. It was fucking pathetic.

Suddenly, I heard the squeaking of the door hinges and I jumped.

“Bella? What are you doing in here?”

Jasper lit up a cigarette and locked the door behind him and Emmett, before both of them walked

over to me.

“I… no one ever uses this bathroom. I’m just trying to compose myself. Today sucks.”

Emmett handed me one of those brown crunchy, cheap school paper towels and I dabbed it under

my eyes. I’d already had two classes with Edward, and just being around him was killing me. I

hated him for what he did to me. And I hated myself for what I did. I felt so guilty, even though he

deserved it.

“Have you talked to Edward?” Jasper asked, shoving open the bathroom window.

“No.”

“Maybe you both just need to get over it. I mean, you fucked-”

“Emmett, shut up.” Jasper cut him off and looked at me sympathetically. “Okay, this is going

against my better judgment because I said I wasn’t getting involved. But, uh… I’m gonna tell you

something that I believe to be true.”

I sighed and sat down on the window sill. I couldn’t handle any more bad news, so I almost told

him I didn’t want to hear it. Jasper stood in front of me and took a drag of his cigarette, blowing it

out slowly and then looking at Emmett.

“On Sunday, I went to Edward’s… and he told me the only reason he left with Jessica was to go to

your house. He said he never touched her, and that he waited in your room for you for hours. And

that he walked home, since you never showed. He wouldn’t lie to me.”

I put my hand over my chest, because a rush of emotions went through me. The first was relief,

because if it was true, that meant Edward really didn’t touch her. And the second was guilt. Lots and

lots of guilt. Guilt because he really was good to me, and I didn’t trust him. Guilt because I got into

an argument with him on Saturday, and he’d tried to explain himself to me so many times and I

didn’t even give him the chance. And guilt because… I slept with someone else. When he did

nothing wrong to me. I felt sick.

“Are you… okay?” Emmett asked me. “You look a little green.”

“No… no I’m not okay! Why would you tell me this?” I screamed, shoving Jasper in the chest.

“How would this make things better? Now I just feel a million times worse, because… he was at

my house waiting to make up with me and I was fucking someone else! Oh, my god. What the hell

am I going to do?”

Jasper shrugged and took another drag of his cigarette.

“Don’t tell him.”

“Yeah right, I can’t just lie to him, he feels bad enough already for what he did. Look at him! He

looks like shit! I mean, before I thought it was funny and that he deserved it, but now… When was

the last time he washed his hair?”

Emmett shrugged and Jasper laughed and I didn’t find anything about it funny.

“I’ve been trying to get him to shower for days,” Jasper said, chuckling. “I think we need to have an

intervention,” he said to Emmett.

“I can’t believe this,” I muttered, ignoring them.

Then suddenly the bell rang.

“Great. I have to go to class now and he’s there and I’m gonna feel fucking awful. I hate you guys.”

I stormed out of the bathroom and quickly debated whether to go to English or slit my wrists.

Somehow I ended up in English.

I saw Edward walk into class, and I looked down. I felt too ashamed to even look at him. Idiot. I

was such an idiot.

We had to read our stupid poems out loud in class. I picked the shortest one I could without being

ridiculous, and also because it was meant to be spiteful toward Edward. Now it just seemed mean.

“Bella, your turn.”

I stood up and reluctantly walked to the podium in the front room, like I was taking my final walk

to the electric chair or something.

I sighed and unfolded the paper, flattening it on the podium with my palms.

“My poem is The Kiss by Sara Teasdale.

I hoped that he would love me, And he has kissed my mouth, But I am like a stricken bird That

cannot reach the south. For though I know he loves me, To-night my heart is sad; His kiss was not

so wonderful As all the dreams I had.”

I looked up and Edward was shaking his head, looking down at his notebook and scribbling

something on it.

“Good choice, Bella. Why’d you pick this poem?” I gave the teacher an evil glare and I looked

down at the paper.

“Because I always imagine people to be more amazing then they actually are in reality.”

“Good… very good. Who’s next?”

I sighed and walked back to my desk in the back of the room. On the way there, Edward stuck his

hand out and brushed his fingers against mine.

I felt sick. I wanted to vomit. I felt remorseful and mortified and awful.

Some herb went up after me and read a Robert Frost poem that everyone and their mother has heard

twelve times. Way to be original. After him, it was Edward’s turn.

He chewed on his bottom lip nervously and looked down at the poem and then up at me. Oh, god.

What if it was about me? I was ready to have a panic attack because of how shitty I felt. I wanted to

get up and leave the room but my legs felt heavy.

“Alright… my poem is What Can I Offer Her?by Tupac Amaru Shakur… yeah, he’s a poet so

just… shut up.”

Edward glanced down at the paper and took a deep breath before he started.

“All of my life I dreamed of meeting onewith immense beauty, and once I found herI would charm

her and she'd be mine foreverI have found her and indeed she is allI wished for and more but she

isnot charmed nor intrigued. Then Ithink 2 myself "What can I offer her?"The tears warm my eyes

and blur myvision. I stick 2 my stance of bravadoand give her the same uninterested lookshe gave

me. She was so beautifulBut what can I offer her.”

That did it. I ran out of the room, crying because damn him. I fucked everything up. I sat around

and waited for him to fuck everything up, and I was the one who did it. And that fucker had to go

and pick a damn Tupac poem that he knew was gonna get to me and… fuck. Fuck fuck fuck.

I stood in the hallway, leaning against the lockers, trying to catch my breath. Suddenly, Edward

appeared in the hallway, shutting the door behind him.

“I’m sorry,” he said. “I didn’t mean to make you upset, I just-”

“No, it’s not that.”

I cut him off before he could keep apologizing to me.

“I didn’t do anything with Jessica. Look at my phone, she kept calling me-”

“I know, I believe you.”

He put his phone back in his pocket and frowned.

“So… what’s wrong?”

I looked down at my feet and took a deep breath. Things couldn’t get worse. I figured I’d just tell

him now and hope he’d forgive me one day.

“I slept with Jasper.”

He opened his mouth to say something, and then he shut it again. His nostrils flared and his face got

all red, and he squinted at me.

“What?”

“At the party, I was upset and I got really drunk, and I thought you went to fool around with Jessica

and… I did it. I’m sorry.”

He didn’t say anything. He just stared at me, and he looked so… enraged. I didn’t blame him.

“I’m so sorry. In my defense, though, I thought you were with her, and Jasper just told me today

that you weren’t, so-”

“No. Fuck that. You should’ve fucking trusted me.”

“How am I supposed to trust you when I’ve seen the way you are? I didn’t know. I was hurt, and-”

“Shut up. Just shut the fuck up. You’re disgusting.”

He was fuming. He punched the locker behind me and I jumped.

“I’m sorry, Edward-”

“No. Don’t apologize to me. Just… get the fuck away from me.”

“Okay,” I murmured. I wiped the tears off my face before walking back toward the door.

Before I walked inside I turned around and saw Edward stomping down the hallway, his shoulders

slumped and his head hanging low.

I debated running after him.

But what good would that do? He loathed me.

I pushed the door and walked back into class.

14.Aftermath

EPOV

Jasper was dead.

That motherfucker. After all his fucking advice giving, and how he knew how I felt about Bella, he

went behind my back and stabbed me. Fuckin Judas. He was fucking dead.

That lying motherfucker. No wonder he flipped his shit when I told him I didn’t fool around with

Jessica. And then he goes and tells Bella, probably to ease his guilt or some shit. That double

crossing, Benedict Arnold motherfucker. I had half the mind to go and pull Alice out of class and

fuck her doggie style on the hood of his car. While he watched.

I didn’t even go back to English. I stood outside the cafeteria where I usually met Jasper and waited

for his traitor ass. I was clenching my fucking fists so hard I thought my bone was gonna rip

through the skin. As soon as I saw that fuck walk around the corner, I ran right up to him and choke

slammed his lanky ass against the wall.

“Why the fuck’d you do it?!” I screamed.

He could barely talk because I was blocking his fucking airway.

“Get off me, let me fucking explain,” he said, gasping for air. I was ready to pull a Newton on his

ass and let the motherfucker turn blue and see stars before I let go of him.

“Is it true?” I shouted at him, between my clenched teeth.

He nodded and winced, because he knew what was coming.

A right hook to his fucking face. His head flew to the side and he got out of my grasp and pushed

my chest, making me fly across the hallway.

“Stop you guys!” I heard Rosalie’s annoying yelp, but that bitch was the last thing on my mind.

“Cullen, calm the fuck down!” Jasper yelled, taking a step toward me.

I flew toward him again and punched him right in the face, the same fucking spot I hit him before.

He still didn’t go down.

He wasn’t even trying to fight me back. I pushed him up against the wall and kneed him in the
fucking stomach and he crouched over, and I kneed that fuck in the face, making his nose start

gushing blood. Suddenly I felt someone’s big ass arms wrap around my chest and pull me. I tried to

get away, but there was no point.

“What the fuck is going on?” Emmett shouted at me, shoving me against the wall opposite Jasper

and pressing my shoulders against the wall so I couldn’t move.

“He fucked Bella!” I screamed, pointing at Jasper. Emmett shook his head and held on to me,

waiting for me to calm down. My adrenaline was pumping like crazy, and I was so fuckin livid I

was ready to rip someone’s head off. Jasper’s fucking head.

Rosalie and Alice were standing in front of him, holding the front of his shirt up to his face to stop

the blood. Fucking bitches. They were dead to me too.

“What are you and Bella practicing to start your own underground fight club or something?”

Emmett asked, chuckling.

“Fuck you,” I spat at him. “He’s a fuckin traitor. Backstabbing son of a bitch, he’s supposed to be

my best friend. I’m gonna fucking kill him.”

“Edward, what the hell are you doing?” Alice asked, walking up to me.

“Your little boyfriend fucked Bella!” I shouted, making sure Alice knew.

“He‘s not my boyfriend,” she said, shaking her head. “It was a mistake. You have to calm down.”

“Fuck that,” I said, sneering at her. “I don’t have to do anything. And you knew and you didn’t tell

me! You’re supposed to be my closest friend after that dickhead! Fuck you too, Alice. The two of

you are no friends of mine.”

Alice’s face fell. “Edward, you don’t even know what happened. Maybe if you calmed down and

just talked, you’d-”

“Cullen! Get in my office, now!” The Principal’s voice echoed across the hallway, drowning out all

the other commotion. Emmett let go of me as I pushed past everyone, making sure to flip Jasper off

as I walked away.

I dropped down into a chair in the principal’s office, sneering at Mrs. Cope, the damn secretary who

was shaking her head at me. Stupid cunt needed to mind her own business.

All of a sudden the door opened and Alice timidly sat down next to me.

“Go away,” I said to her, turning my head in the other direction.

“Edward,” she grabbed my throbbing hand and clenched it between her fingers. “Just listen to me.”

“I don’t feel like it.”

“Miss Brandon, you shouldn’t be in here,” the secretary said, pointing at the door.

“I’ll just be a minute.”

Alice smiled at her politely and Mrs. Cope dropped her hand and went back to her paperwork shit.

“You shouldn’t have done that. You should’ve talked to him.”

“No, I shouldn’t have talked to him, what I should’ve done is stab him in the fucking heart.”

“Edward, stop being dramatic. I mean, can you really be mad?”

I looked at Alice and squinted, because bitch was acting loco.

“Yes, I can be. Why the hell shouldn’t I be? And why aren’t you? Aren’t the two of you secretly in

love with each other or something?”

“Okay… so, let’s say for instance that statement was true. We’re not dating. Therefore, could I

really be mad? You and Bella aren’t dating…”

I sighed and scratched at the drops of blood on the knee of my pants. “Look, Alice. I don’t know

what you’re trying to do, but he’s not getting out of this shit on a technicality. And neither is she.

I’m fucking done, with both of them. They could have each other.”

“Mr. Cullen, come on.” The principal’s door flung open and he stood there in the doorway, waiting

for me.

“I’ll talk to you later, Edward,” Alice said, walking out.

*

BPOV

To say that I was glum would be an understatement. It had been over two weeks and Edward hadn’t

called, or come through the window, or even so much as looked at me during class. It was a hassle. I

had to change my seat in all the classes I had with him, and Angela and I sat alone during lunch,

since I wasn’t going back to the table with Jessica, and it was fairly clear I was unwelcome at the

pretty table.

Jasper and Edward didn’t talk to each other, they just sat at opposite ends of the table, and I felt like

shit for the rift I caused in their group. No one was rude or placed any of the blame on me; Rosalie

and Emmett’s attitudes hadn’t changed, but Alice had gotten distant and Jasper made it a point to

stay away from me, and Edward… ignored me. Always.

I didn’t see any way of fixing the mess I made, so I went through the typical daily motions, going to

school, making pointless chit chat with friends I didn’t really care about, and coming home and

moping. To be honest, I didn’t care about what happened with Jasper and Alice, or Edward and

Jasper, or anything. I just missed Edward. And even though he hadn’t gone back to the way he was

before we were together, screwing anything with a head and a vagina- at least not in front of my

face- it was clear he didn’t want me anymore.

The only time that either of us talked to each other was during Biology, because it was too late in

the year for us to switch partners. It wasn’t a good thing, though. Edward barely even

acknowledged me, he just did the labs while we were in class and we’d split up the work that we

each had to do at home, and we’d hand in our half assed efforts and get shittier grades then we

would’ve if we were doing the work together. I hated every minute of it.

The day before Thanksgiving break, I decided to make an effort to talk to him. I figured if it ended

badly or I embarrassed the shit out of myself, I wouldn’t have to see him for a week anyway, so I’d
have time to recoup. So, I walked into Bio and sat down in my typical seat next to him, and instead

of pretending to look over my notes and get ready for class and talk to annoying ass Newton, I

stared at him.

“Hi,” I said, quietly. It was the only thing I could think to say.

Edward glared at me and then looked down at his notebook, and started doodling on a blank sheet

of paper.

“Uh… how are you?” I asked, not giving in.

“Fine.” I noticed him press down harder on the paper, the squiggly lines he was drawing getting

darker.

“I miss you.”

He dropped his pen and his head shot up. I saw his nostrils flare and I heard a breath shoot out of

his mouth between his clenched teeth.

“Please don’t talk to me,” he said, still not unclenching his teeth.

“Do you… do you miss me?”

For the first time, he looked at me. When his eyes met mine, his face softened a little and he gulped.

He turned his head back to the front of the classroom and nodded a little bit. Then he looked back

down at the table and picked up his pen, biting the end of it.

“So then, talk to me,” I suggested, reaching out and touching his arm.

He pulled away from me and grabbed his books, shooting up out of his seat and flying toward the

door. I packed up my stuff and ran behind him, not worry about the 500th detention of the year I’d

be getting for skipping class.

“Edward, stop!”

I scurried behind him, but his damn long legs were moving so fast I was practically running. I

followed him out to his car, where he got inside and slammed the door. I stood next to the window,

just watching him. He stuck the keys in the ignition, but didn’t turn the car on.

Edward’s fingers were clenched around the steering wheel, and he was staring straight ahead. I saw
his eyes shut, and I heard the clicking of the door unlocking, so I walked around the front of the car

and got in the passenger seat.

“I have nothing to say,” he murmured, not looking at me. He took his phone out of his pocket and

started fiddling with it, looking down into his lap.

“Well, I do.” I took a deep breath and turned my body toward his. “This whole thing was just a big

misunderstanding. If I didn’t think you had left with Jessica, I would never, ever have done it. I was

so humiliated, and upset, and I was furious and drunk… and it was a mistake. I wish I didn’t do it. It

meant nothing.”

“You should’ve trusted me. You had no reason not to. Since I started hooking up with you, I haven’t

even looked at another girl. You couldn’t let go of my past and now, look. This is your fault.”

“I know it is. I’m sorry… I’m so sorry. Can we just… go somewhere else and talk?”

Edward didn’t say anything, he just turned the key and started driving. We rode the entire way to his

house in silence. It had started pouring, of course, and it was pretty fitting.

I silently followed him through the front door to his house. We walked up to his room, and I shut

the door behind me and just stood there. He sat on the edge of his bed and looked at me, waiting for

me to say something. I felt a little weird sitting next to him on the bed, so I grabbed his desk chair

and rolled it toward him, sitting down in it across from him.

“I want to know something,” he said, his brow furrowed. “How could you just go and sleep with a

random person, but with me it’s a big deal? I don’t get it.”

“I don’t know,” I said, practically whispering.

“So how was it?” Edward asked me, breaking the silence. “How was it fucking my best friend? Did

you enjoy it?”

I knew I should’ve been insulted by what he said, but I kind of deserved it. He had every right to be

angry.

“I… I don’t know,” I said, looking down at the floor. “I blacked out. I don’t remember. I only know

I did because… I woke up next to him in the morning… naked, and I asked him.”

Edward’s fists clenched and I heard his teeth snapping together.

“Edward… I want you to understand something,” I took a deep breath and prepared myself for what

I was about to tell him. “My mom… she was never around when I was growing up. I have no

brothers and sisters, and I practically raised myself. She’s always had different boyfriends and she

has horrible taste in men, and I’ve never seen a functional relationship before. I’ve always seen my

mother crying and upset over men that have done her wrong. And I just… have problems with trust.

It’s one thing for me to go and sleep with someone that I have no intentions of being with, because

there’s no emotions attached. But what I had with you was completely another thing. I’ve never had

a real boyfriend because I always put this shield up when people get too close to me, and for you…

I let it down. And it was hard for me, with the way that you were. With all those other girls. I just

wanted us to do things right, and I wanted us having sex to be special because I’ve never cared

about someone the way I care about you. Then when I thought you’d gone behind my back… I’ve

never felt like that before. And I didn’t feel bad for what I did with Jasper because I thought you

deserved it. Until I found out you didn’t do anything, and now I just feel like such an asshole. I hate

myself every day for not just trusting you in the first place.”

Edward groaned and tilted his head backward, looking up at the ceiling. He yanked at his hair and
muttered something under his breath that I couldn’t make out, and he patted the bed next to him. I

sat next to him and pushed my leg against his, because I missed touching him so much.

“I can’t just… get over this, Bel.” He sighed and grabbed my hand. “Just like you’ve never had

these feelings before, neither have I. For the first time, I let myself see a girl as more than just a

fling that I could give two shits about, and look at what happens.”

He shook his head and stood up from the bed, dropping my hand.

EPOV

“You broke my fucking heart, Bella. You slept with my best friend! This can’t just be fixed.”

I was letting her get to me, and as much as I wanted her I couldn’t fucking do it. That shit would

always be there, in the back of my mind, and I’d never be able to forget it.

All of a sudden she stood up and grabbed the back of my head, pushing her face into mine. And it

felt so good, kissing her, and then I realized she was doing her witchcraft voodoo shit to try and

sway me, so I pulled away.

“Stop,” I told her, taking a step back.

“No,” she shouted. And she grabbed me again. And her lips were so soft and she tasted so fucking

good, and I missed the way she tasted and apples and bubblegum and-

“Bella, stop.”

I took another step back and my legs hit the desk and she stood on her tiptoes and kissed me again.

Her tongue was swirling around in my mouth and I missed that shit like crazy, so I went along with

it for a second. And then Jasper popped into my fucking mind, that prick, and I felt the rage build up

in my chest and Bella kept pushing herself into me and I leaned back and something crashed to the

floor off my desk, but she didn’t stop doing the crazy swirly thing with her tongue.

I put my hands on her shoulders and pushed her, holding her out at arm’s length.

“Stop kissing me,” I told her.

Her face dropped and she shook her head. And then her eyes got all watery and fuuuuuuck.

I hated seeing her cry.

“Edward,” she murmured, grabbing my hands that were still on her shoulders. “Let’s just be

together. I promise that I’ll trust you from now on, and I’ll never do anything bad to you again, I

swear. Let’s just forget about this and go back.”

I wanted to do it. I wanted to do it so badly, I just stood there for a second and didn’t say anything,

thinking about it. Before I could make up my mind she started pulling me toward the bed, and I was

so fucking confused I didn’t know what to do. It was like a I was in a fucking daze. A

Backstabbing-Bella induced daze. I liked her so fucking much- and because I liked her so much, I

hated her so much for what she did.

She pulled me down on the bed and I hovered above her. I felt her fingers on my back. And then she

was yanking off my shirt. She pulled hers off after without my help. And her warm hands were all

over my body, my arms, and then my chest, and around my back, and she was still kissing me, and

then her fingers were at the waistband of my boxers, and I fucking wanted her so badly, I let her

unbutton my pants and slide them off.

I couldn’t take it. I practically ripped her pants off and I kissed her all over, and she was still tearing

but every time I looked up at her she smiled. I squeezed at her body, clenching handfuls of her skin

roughly and I moved down and pulled off her underwear.

I moved back up so I was hovering over her again, she was panting and crying, but she was so

fucking beautiful. I kissed her and waited for her to make the next move, because I didn’t feel right

about it. Bella hesitantly grasped the bottom of my boxers and tugged, and I shimmied them down

my legs and flung them off with my feet.

I laid there, trying to figure out what the fuck I was doing. I’d never been so confused in my entire,

measly fucking life. What was I doing? This wasn’t fucking special. I hadn’t talked to her in weeks.

The last time I talked to her before today, I told her she was disgusting. She told me she loved me,

and I told her I didn’t. How could I just take advantage of someone who loved me? Then again, she

completely fucked me over, so why shouldn’t I? The only reason she was even doing this shit was

because she felt bad for me.

“Just… do it already,” she whispered, craning her neck up to kiss me.

“Bel… I don’t-”

“What? You’re only pissed about this whole thing because I had sex with Jasper and not you. So

just do it. Fuck me. That’s what’s important to you.”

“That’s not true,” I said. She grabbed my face and pulled it toward hers, and she lifted up her hips

and started grinding herself against my dick, making me lose my fucking mind. I couldn’t think

straight when she was doing shit like that.

“Come on, Edward,” she growled, pressing herself against me again. She was rubbing herself on me

so hard it almost hurt. I wanted to do it so badly, but I knew it would just fucking ruin everything.

But she was right there, wet and naked, grinding up on me, and I could feel it, so close. “Just do it,

Edward. Just fuck me.”

“Stop… saying that shit. It’s not like that with us,” I groaned into her ear.

I didn’t want to be fucking Jasper, or any other guy she’d ever slept with. I didn’t want her to be

some insignificant skank of mine like Jessica or Lauren or whoever the fuck else. I only wanted to

have sex with her if I could be with her, and I couldn’t be with her. I just couldn’t. Not after what

she did.

But I still didn’t want to hurt her.

“I love you, Edward. I don’t care if you don’t love me. I want this, so just… do it. For me.”

She was crying now, fucking sobbing because I wouldn’t just have sex with her. What the hell was

wrong with me?

It felt fucking wrong, but I lined myself up with her and pushed my hips forward, shoving myself

inside her roughly. She gasped and wrapped her arms around my back, pulling my chest to hers and

digging into my skin with her nails. I pulled back and pushed forward again, harder this time,
because if she wanted me to just go and fuck her then fine, I’d do her brains out so she’d stop

fucking crying.

“Edward, what’s wrong-”

I heard her voice in my ear, but I thrusted again, cutting her off.

And then I balanced myself on my hands and looked down at her, and her eyes were all red and

there were tears all over her face and she looked so… heartbroken.

This wasn’t right. I couldn’t fucking do it anymore.

I pulled out and rolled over, and pulled her head to my chest as she cried.

“I’m sorry, I can’t do this like this. This is fucked up. I can’t just get over this, and I don’t want to

do it under these… circumstances. It’s just not fucking right,” I grumbled, rubbing her head.

“Fine,” she mumbled, sitting up. “I‘m going.”

I could’ve stopped her, but instead I just sat there and watched her get dressed and grab her stuff.

There was no point in her staying. There was nothing either of us could say to get shit back to the

way it was.

She didn’t say bye. She just walked out and slammed my door, not even fucking looking at me. I

felt like shit. I felt like a douchebag. The highest level of douchebag there was.

I put my clothes back on and walked downstairs, searching through Carlisle’s liquor cabinet for

whatever had the highest proof, and I don’t even know what the fuck it was but I chugged it straight

from the bottle and went back up to my room.

I flopped down on my bed and just laid there, listening to some kill myself music and just thinking

about Bella and what an idiot I was. And what an idiot she was. We were both too damn stupid and

fucked up to be together.

“Just once I’d like to come in here and not hear some depressing 60’s-era rock,” Jasper said,

shutting my door.

“Well, I am dazed and confused,” I muttered, not getting up to talk to that fucker. I don’t know why

he was in my house anyway. I hadn’t spoken more than two words to the traitor since I beat the shit

out of him. And the two words were fuck you.

“Cullen, I’m sick of this shit. We need a confab, pronto.”

I groaned and sat up, throwing my feet over the side of the bed.

“What the fuck do you want?”

“I want to tell you about that night,” he said, sitting at my desk chair. It was still in the middle of the

room from when Bella was sitting on it.

Jasper drummed his fingers on the armrests and took a deep breath.

“Alright, listen. First of all, the girl was fucking hammered. Everyone was. She cried the whole

night. We finally got her drunk enough that she was having a good time and not thinking about you,

and then Lauren Mallory, that vile fucking excuse for a female, said some shit to her and she broke

down again.”

I didn’t want to hear about Bella flipping out over my stupid mistakes. It was just making me feel

worse. I looked down at my feet and tried not to get pissed.

“Alice told me to bring her in the other room to calm down. And, bro, we both thought that you

were off fucking that chick, and she was so wasted she started kissing me… I don’t know. I think
she just wanted something to distract her, or something. I was wasted so I just went along with it,

because I felt so bad. And yeah, I know it was fucked up and I should’ve stopped it because of you,

but I was pissed that you went and did that. I gave you advice and tried to fucking help you, and I

felt like you were just being a selfish prick, because, no offense, but that’s what you are. You have

no fucking boundaries, and no sense of what’s right and wrong.”

I shot my head up and sneered at him, because, fuck. Maybe that was how I was before, but I was

trying my hardest not to be that way when I was with Bella. If he was my best friend, he should’ve

fucking noticed that shit and thought better of me.

“Anyway, it just kept going and going and… I don’t want to give you details but, seriously… I

think I maybe pumped twice before she started hysterically crying and so I got off her and all she

kept saying was how much she loved you and shit. It was pathetic. So I just stayed there with her

until morning and she didn’t even remember when she woke up. She pulled me to the side and

asked me if we did it, and I just said yeah because I thought it’d make her feel less shitty about what

you did to her. I don’t know, I wasn’t thinking clear.”

I took in everything he said, and for some reason, I felt a little better. She was thinking about me,

even though she thought I’d done her wrong.

“You should’ve told me,” I said to Jasper. “Why the fuck didn’t you just tell me?”

“Because, it wasn’t a big deal, I didn’t even really fuck her, and I didn’t think you needed to know.

Especially when you told me about you not fucking Jessica- I mean, I felt like shit and I thought

Bella would figure it out and the two of you’d be able to work through it. And then she told you. I

told her not to tell you, because I knew it’d just make everything worse.”

I shook my head and stood up from the bed. “This is fucked up.”

“I know. And I’m sorry, I wish it didn’t happen. I won’t do anything like that to you again, ever.

You have my word.”

“Fine,” I said. He was sorry, and he was my boy. What the hell else was I supposed to do? Stay

pissed forever? I’d already beat the shit out of him. Plus, I’d done stupider shit when I was drunk,

so I couldn’t really blame him.

“Can I uh… make a suggestion?”

“No,” I spat at him.

“Okay, I’ll take that as a yes. May I suggest shaving more than once a week? Because, seriously

dude, you’re looking more and more like a lumberjack every day.”

“Fuck off.”

He laughed at me and stood up from the chair, rolling it back to my desk.

“So… maybe you should talk to Bella,” Jasper said.

“I did. It just made things worse.”

“Psshhhhh. Didn’t think that was possible,” he said, chuckling.

“You have no fucking idea.”

I didn’t say anything to him about the kind-of-sex with Bella. That shit was personal, and shameful.

I didn’t even want to think about it.

“I sent Alice over there to talk to her. At least try to be friends with her again,” he suggested. “Then

maybe eventually when you both get over it, she’ll want to hop back on the E train.”

“I don’t know,” I muttered. “We’ll see.”

*

BPOV

“Bella! You have a guest!”

I heard Charlie’s voice hollering. I stood in front of the bathroom mirror, trying to wipe the mascara

from under my eyes. I looked like death. I felt like it, too.

“She’s coming up!” Charlie yelled again.

I heard light footsteps coming up the stairs, and then Alice was standing in the bathroom doorway.

Whoa. What the fuck.

“Hey Bella,” she said, giving me a weak smile. “Are you okay?”

I forced a smile and nodded at her, looking back to the mirror to continue with my tear removal.

Fucking Edward.

“What’s up?” I asked her, pulling my tear soaked hair away from my face.

“I um… I wanted to talk to you about stuff.”

I cross my arms over my chest and sat on the countertop.

“I’m sorry, Alice. You know this. I’ve never regretted anything more in my life.”

“I know, Bella. It’s okay. You were upset, and Edward’s a moron, and… it’s understandable. I’m not

mad. I think we’ve been treating you unfairly, and you’ve been taking the blame for all the drama

that’s been going on when really, it isn’t anyone’s fault.”

“Oh,” I said. They’d friggen deserted me, and treated me like a pariah, but whatever. I missed my

friends. “Well, thanks… I guess.”

“Jasper’s not my boyfriend, and that’s by my choice, so really… I can’t be mad.”

I noticed the irony in her statement because it was the same situation as Edward and me. Except

ours was just fucked up tenfold.

“Why are you crying?” Alice asked me, stepping into the bathroom. She grabbed a washcloth and

started batting it under my eyes.

“Just… I talked to Edward and it made things worse. I don’t think we’re ever going to be better.”

He sighed and shrugged her shoulders. “I don’t know. I mean, I’ve been close to Edward for years

and years and I’ve never seen him with anyone the way he was with you.”

She shook her head and dropped the washcloth.

“You should’ve seen him the day he beat up Jasper. He was so heated. So… passionate. He loves

you, I know he does.”

I blew a raspberry waved my hand in the air. Yeah, okay. Edward loved me. Funny.

“Love is overrated.”

“No it’s not. Things will be okay, Bella. Just give him time.”

I shook my head and hopped off the counter. “They won’t. You don’t even know what the

conversation we had was like. He’s just… so upset. He’s not himself, and it’s my fault, and… I just

don’t even want to bother anymore. He doesn’t want me.”

I didn’t bother telling Alice about how we started to have rough angry sex and he fucking denied

me. It was mortifying.

Alice sighed and pulled her phone out of her pocket. She read a text message and smiled at me.

“Jasper went and talked to Edward. He said they’re okay now.”

That pissed me off. How the hell could he forgive Jasper and not me?

“So maybe since Jasper told him what really happened, now Edward will feel differently,” she

continued.

I don’t know what the hell she was talking about, but I didn’t press because I’m sure she was wrong

anyway. Nothing was going to make Edward feel any differently. He was going to hate me forever.

“Look, now that everyone is… okay and getting along again, we’ll all hang out like we did before

and the two of you can figure out what kind of a relationship you want to have. He’ll wake up

sooner or later, right?”

I nodded, agreeing with her, but I wasn’t sure.

15.Reunion

BPOV

“Bella,” Charlie said softly, pushing open my door. “Are you sure you don’t want to eat anything? I

can go pick something up-”

“No,” I grumbled, pulling the blanket off my head. “I’m not hungry.”

“You’ve been moping around for weeks, Bella. Getting in fights, skipping class, not leaving your

room… what’s going on?”

“I’m not moping.”

Just mortified. Completely and totally mortified at what an asshole I am.

Charlie sighed and sat at the foot of my bed.

“It’s 6:00. You haven’t gotten out of bed yet today.”

I sighed and sat up, letting my hair fall in my face.

“I’m just… tired. Of life.”

“If this has something to do with the Cullen kid, so help me god-”

“Dad. Stop.” I stood up and dragged my feet across the room, my shoulders slouching. I figured

brushing my teeth couldn’t hurt. Suddenly, I heard my phone ringing in my bed, and I dashed back

across the room to get it. Every time my phone rang I hoped it was Edward. It’d been almost a

week, and he still hadn’t called, so I guess you could say I was bordering on the edge of delusion.

It was Alice.

“Bell-aaaaaa,” she sung into the phone. “Get dressed. We’re going to Emmett’s.”

“Yeah, I don’t think so.”

She sighed and cleared her throat.

“You’re going. Edward wants to see you.”

My heart did a pathetic pitter-patter and I suddenly got excited.

“Really?” I asked her.

“Well… he didn’t say it, but-”
“Fuck you, Alice. Fuck. You.”

“Okay, see you in a little bit!” She hung up the phone, not letting me get another word in. I climbed

back into bed, pulling the covers back over my head, and I heard Charlie grumble something and

leave.

It had been almost a week since my psychotic attempt at romping with Edward. I felt like an ass. I
screwed his best friend, and then I tried to con him into screwing me by crying. Well, kind of. The

tears weren’t intentional, but I tried to use them to my advantage. I just missed him so much, and he

was right there in front of me, not giving in, and I knew how much it bothered him that we hadn’t

slept together, so I offered myself to him, trying to fix things and… it didn’t work. It just made

things worse, if that was even possible. I learned the hard way that sex should not be used as a

bartering tool. Ever.

About a half hour later, I was lying in bed, listening to Band of Horses and basking in my Edward

depression. Suddenly, my body lifted as someone plopped down on my bed. I groaned and pulled

the blanket down, only enough to peek out.

“Nice to see you too,” Rosalie said, gripping the edge of the blanket and pulling it off me in one

motion.

“I’m not going anywhere,” I told her, rolling over.

“Uh, yeah you are.” She stood up and grabbed a brush off my dresser and started ripping at my hair

without asking. “I think we can make this work.”

“Why the hell is everyone so intent on dragging me out of the house? Let me be.”

“Uh, well,” Rosalie said, motioning for me to sit up. “We’re having a Thanksgiving gathering.

Everyone’s tired of sidestepping around shit, so suck it up and get dressed. Actually, I take that

back, let me pick something out.”

She waltzed over to my closet and started rummaging through my clothes, making a point of

huffing about my lack of designer attire. Bitch. I still hadn’t moved from my spot on the bed.

“Okay, here. This’ll do. You want to look cute enough that Edward feels like an asshole for what

he’s missing, and simple so it doesn’t look like you’re trying too hard.”

“I’m not trying at all,” I told her, roughly pulling the hangers from her hand. “I’m not even gonna

talk to him.”

“You could use some… blush. Or something. No offense, but you look haggard.” Rosalie

completely ignored me and started searching through her purse.

An hour later, we were sitting in Rosalie’s BMW outside of Emmett’s house, her trying to coax me

out of having an anxiety attack. Edward’s car was in the driveway, and I felt awkward and

ridiculous, and Rosalie put a stupid braid in the front of my hair to "tame the frizziness" so I felt

like Pocahontas and I just wanted to die.

“I don’t see what the big deal is. Just talk to each other. You always used to have fun together, this is

the same thing. Albeit, with a little drama thrown into the mix, but who cares? It’s just Edward.”

“No, he’s not just Edward to me. He hates me! I… I can’t do this. Take this braid out of my hair!” I

patted at my head and Rosalie grabbed my wrist and held it to my lap.

“Bella, you look adorable. Don’t fucking touch it. Let’s go,” she said, hopping out of the car. I took

a deep breath, trying to calm my nerves, and followed her.

I didn’t expect for anyone to understand how I felt. No one really knew how things were between

Edward & I. Or how things were. Now the tables were completely friggen turned, and I was the one

with the lower hand, trying to con him into sleeping with me.

In all actuality, I was fucking heartbroken. I was in love with him, and he wasn’t in love with me,

and I ruined any possibility of him loving me and being with me. So, I was far from looking

forward to the upcoming reunion.

“Okay, ready? One… two… th- oh, hey ladies,” Jasper said, giving us a weak wave. I watched as

Emmett, Edward, and Alice turned in tandem, looking awkwardly in our direction. They each had a

shot glass in their hand, and there was an open bottle of liquor on Emmett’s counter.

“You interrupted our shot,” Emmett said, sliding two glasses across the counter in our direction.

“Come on.”

I needed a drink, desperately to stay sane. After a few more shots and not even a word from

Edward, I was feeling slightly more relaxed. He didn’t seem angry; just uncomfortable. The same

way I felt.

I decided to break the tension during one of Emmett’s stupid drinking games.

EPOV

“Okay, everyone sit down,” Emmett hollered, pulling a chair out from his dining room table. He

slammed a bottle of 151 in the middle as the five of us reluctantly sat in the remaining chairs.

“I’m not drinking that poison,” I told him, remembering the fuckery that happened last time I drank

that crap. I was afraid I’d wake up the next morning with “wanker” tattooed across my forehead or

some crazy shit.

“What the fuck is going on?” Jasper asked, cracking open a beer. I shrugged at him, because

Emmett was a retard and no one ever knew what stupid ideas were coming out of his ADHD-ridden

brain.

“Okay, Bella, you’re gonna start. Everyone take a glass,” Emmett said, pushing a double shot glass

at each of us. Fuck. This was gonna be heinous.

Bella cringed and I swore she looked at me for a second as Emmett filled her glass.

I felt pretty dick for ignoring her all night, but what was I gonna say?

Oh, thanks for the three pumps the other day, it was spectacular.

No.

“Ehhhh,” she said, holding the shot up above her head.

“Wait, don’t take it yet, el stupido,” Emmett said, grabbing her wrist. “In honor of our great nation’s

day of thanks, you have to say three things you’re thankful for. Then take it.”

“I hate this game,” Jasper said, taking a gulp of his beer.

“Then leave my house, cake boy,” Emmett retorted, pointing toward the door. “Go ahead Bella.”

Bella scratched her head and looked at the ceiling.

“Okay. I’m thankful that my mother’s neglectful, and sent me off to live with my father.”

“Aww, Bella, that’s sad,” Alice said, resting her head on her shoulder. The two of them were sharing

a chair even though there was an empty one right next to them. Girls. Who knows.

“No, it’s not. Because I got to meet all of you guys,” she said, holding up her glass.

“That was only one,” Rosalie said, giggling.

“Oh, yeah. Okay, I’m thankful for the kickboxing classes that my old high school offered, because

they helped me in fucking up Jessica Stanley. Stupid cunt.”

“Here, here,” Jasper said, clicking his beer against mine and taking another chug.

“One more,” Emmett said, winking at her. Bella frowned a little bit and her eyes shot in my

direction again.

Today was the first time I’d seen her after our non-sex sex, and we’d both been pretty awkward

around each other. Actually, I lied, we were straight up awkward. Alice and Jasper kept talking

about “rebuilding our friendship” but I don’t think either of us knew how the fuck to go about it.

“Um… I’m thankful for... Ashley,” Bella said, smirking. That little biotch. I chuckled, and everyone

stared at me, because no one knew what the hell we were talking about. It was her peace offering,

and it was good enough for me. For now. “Okay, that was three.” She winced and moved the glass

to her lips.

“Wait!” I said, sliding my beer across the table to her. She would’ve puked if she took that shit

straight.

“Thanks,” she said, fluttering the damn eyelashes at me. And then she threw the shot back, gagged,

and took a long chug of my beer. She slid it back to me and wiped her mouth with the back of her

hand before giving Emmett the finger. “That shit’s dis-gus-ting.”

“Yeah, be quiet, you’ll be drunk in a minute and a half,” Emmett said. “Who’s next?”

Alice went after Bella, thanking her dad, her Porsche, and Manolo Blahnik. No Jasper. Kind of

rude. Jasper went next, thanking Gisele Bundchen, his dog Tootsie, and The Beatles. Who knows

what kind of crack he was smoking. I think the Beatles thing had something to do with Alice. Then

it was my turn. Ugh.

“I don’t want the shot,” I said, pushing it away from me.

“You’re taking the shot, vagina,” Jasper said, pulling it back and shoving it in my hand.

“Ugh,” I groaned. Just looking at that shit gave me nightmares. “Alright. I’m thankful for… Esme,

since she always makes sure I have clean underwear. Not Carlisle. He’s been a cock this year.”

I heard Bella and Alice giggling and I gave them the finger.

"I think Carlisle's hot," Bella said, Alice nodding in agreement.

UGH.

“Excuse me. That's nasty. And you two are being impolite. Next… ohhhh, porn. Whoever made the

first porn, thank god for them. They’ve given me tons and tons of fun filled hours. And uh… lastly,

I’d like to thank whoever it was that founded Good Humor, because without them, I may have never

seen Bella molesting that ice pop on her front lawn that first, holy day I met her. Cheers.”

I threw back the shot of 151, AKA acid, and smirked at Bella. She laughed and shook her head at

me. It was an icebreaker. We needed to start over somehow, and I figured the little bantering and

inside jokes would push that shit along.

We all got exponentially tanked as the night went on. Rosalie and Emmett disappeared somewhere,

and Alice and Jasper were playing cards with each other. The idiots had somehow found a way to

make Spit a drinking game. Don’t ask. Anyway, I figured it was a good a time as any to talk to Bella

and apologize to her for the awkward sexing. She went into the kitchen to make herself another

drink and I followed behind her.

“What do you want?” I asked her.

She turned around from her spot in front of the counter, where she was eyeing the bottles of liquor

Emmett had laid out.

“I don’t know,” she said, picking up a can of pineapple juice. “Something with this.”

“Lemme work my magic,” I said, grabbing it out of her hand. She stood behind me and watched as

I looked through Emmett’s cabinets for a cup, not saying anything. “Hop up and have a seat,” I told

her, tapping the countertop.

She obliged, jumping onto the counter and swinging her legs.

“So,” I said, pouring a bottle of rum. “Uh… do you want to talk?”

“Not really,” she said, spinning a bottle cap on the counter. “I’m good.”

“Well, I want to talk. Hand me the Sprite,” I said, pointing behind her. She frowned, but handed it to

me with a shrug. “Anyway, I wanted to say sorry… for how things left off. After you went home

Jasper came over and kind of cleared shit up. I feel like a dick for being so stubborn and not being

more sympathetic,” I said, stirring the drink with a spoon.

“Uh, what exactly did Jasper say that led to this drastic mood change?” She asked suspiciously.

“Well,” I said, handing her the drink. “He said-”

“Mmm, this is good,” she interrupted, smacking her lips together. I was trying to make a sincere

gesture here, but whatever. “Sorry, go on.”

“He said that… you guys didn’t really have sex. I mean, it wasn’t any headboard banging porno shit

like I envisioned. He said you started hysterically crying as soon as you started and that… you were

talking about me.”

Bella sighed and looked into her cup, stirring it with her finger. “Yeah, that sounds like me.”

“So… I didn’t do what you thought I did. And you kind of didn’t do what you said you did… so

what do we do now?”

She jumped off the counter, and I couldn’t help but watch her boobs bounce up and down. Hello.

“Uh, I don’t know?”

“How about we just start over from scratch? Kind of. I mean, work on building up each other’s trust

and shit and just keep being friends and see where it goes. I don’t fucking know, I’m clueless when

it comes to this relationship nonsense.”

“No, that sounds good. Hi, I’m Bella. I have Mommy issues, and a smart mouth, and I like stuff

that’s green, and diets. Your turn.”

I laughed, because she was fucking insane, but it was hilarious.

“Uh, I’m Edward. I’m a Gemini with a drinking problem and I enjoy boobs. Always.”

“Ohh, boobs. Nice.” She nodded at me and took another sip of her drink.

Then some crickets chirped.

“Did you know Emmett and Rosalie have sex?”

Great silence breaker. I was impressed.

“What!”

She laughed and nodded again.

“Tis’ true.”

“Shut up,” I said, shoving her back toward the living room. “Is that where they are now? I have to

go investigate this.”

“I’d advise against it. Jasper said it wasn’t a pretty sight. Supposedly, Rosalie’s a big fan of-”

“Stop! Just… stop. I don’t want to know.”

We both chuckled as we walked back toward the living room.

“Let’s get our drink on,” I told her, holding the door open.

When we walked inside, no one was there. Bella pointed at the abandoned game of spit and

frowned at me.

“Do you think they got abducted by aliens?”

I shook my head, ignoring her, and called Jasper’s name.

“In here!” He was shouting from the bathroom down the hall. Bella picked up the deck of cards and

followed behind me. We shoved open the door to find Alice heaving into the toilet and Jasper sitting

on the floor next to her, leaning up against the wall and wincing. For once he wasn’t the asshole

with his head in the toilet.

“Drunken Spit betrayed you, huh?” I said, sitting on the edge of the bathtub.

“Alice, what happened?” Bella slurred, rubbing her back.

“It’s that nasty Thanksgiving shot. I’m gonna kill Emmett,” Alice said before gagging into the toilet

again. Bella turned around to me and cringed before she hopped up on the counter across from me.

“Wanna see a trick?”

“No,” Jasper and I both said at the same time.

“I want to see,” Alice said, sitting up. “Let’s just stay in here for a couple minutes.”

“Okay. Pick a card Edward,” Bella said, sticking out the deck. I rolled my eyes and grabbed one,

handing it to Jasper. “Now stick it back in here.”

Bella closed her eyes and turned her head so she couldn’t see where I put it. She opened her eyes

and reshuffled the deck, giggling.

“Your theatrics could use some work,” I told her.

“Shut up. Here’s your card, fucker.” She winged the card at my head and it landed on my lap. I

picked it up and sure enough, it was the right one.

“Wow, impressive,” I said, not amused.

“I thought it was good, Bella,” Alice said, groggily.

“Hey, Alice, did you know Rosalie and Emmett boinked?” I told her, because I knew she’d find that

shit weird like I did.

Jasper gave Bella the finger and Alice’s eyes widened.

“What?!”

And then she puked again.

“Yeah, I feel the same way,” I shouted over her heaves.

“Okay, I’m good with the puking thing so I’m just gonna wait out there,” Bella said, pointing

toward the door. I followed behind her, shoving the deck of cards in my pocket, because that shit

was making me queasy too.

The two of us went back to the kitchen and spent the next hour taking turns mixing each other crazy

ass drinks. Jasper and Alice never came back, since she was done for the night, and eventually the

two of us got so plastered we could barely stand.

“I want to go to bed,” Bella slurred, leaning against the counter. She took a couple steps toward the

door but almost fell over and slammed her cranium into the countertop. I wasn’t in the mood for

Charlie’s death threats tonight, so I gave her a piggyback ride to one of Emmett’s guest rooms.

“You good?” I asked her, dropping her on the bed.

“Yes.” She nodded and crawled up to the pillows.

“Okay, goodnight.”

I started toward the door but Bella squealed my name.

“What?” I asked, turning around to her.

“You’re not gonna stay with me?”

I looked down at my feet and shrugged. “I didn’t think you wanted me to.”

“It’s been weeks since we had a sleepover. Come on,” she said, haphazardly lifting up the blankets.

What the hell. I was past the point of drunk sex, so I climbed in next to her. I did made it a point not

to get too close to her, though.

“Show me how you did the trick,” I told her, handing her the deck of cards from my pocket.

Bella slid up against me and nestled herself between my arm and my chest.

“Okay… first you do this,” she said, flipping over the top card of the deck. “Then you flip it over.

When you put the card in it's the only one that's backwards. Tricky, huh?”

“That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever seen,” I told her, pinching a piece of her hair between my

fingertips.

“Hmmm,” she sighed. “You're just jealous.”

I closed my eyes and laughed.

“Shut the light, I’m tired,” Bella instructed me. I reached over and shut the lamp off, making sure

not to move away from her side.

“Goodnight.”

“Goodnight, Dickward,” she said, giggling.

It got quiet for a minute and then I heard her voice again.

“Edward?”

“What?”

“I missed you.”

“I know,” I mumbled. “I missed you too.” I leaned over and kissed the top of her head before

closing my eyes and falling into a 151 induced coma.

16.Secret

EPOV

I looked at the time in the corner of my laptop and shook my head, trying to type as fast as I could. I

don’t know why when I was sitting in class with Jessica Stanley blowing her dickbreath down the

back of my neck, time ceased to exist, but when I had loads of important shit to do hours flew right

by.

“It’s already six,” I whispered to Bella.

She shrugged and continued pressing buttons on her phone, not paying attention to me. I was about

ready to snap that shit like a twig and chuck it across the library. We were supposed to have dinner
at my house with the rents at seven, and it was sort of a big deal to me, but she didn’t seem phased

at all. I’d never had a girl over for dinner before, and I was trying to make some headway with her,

so I was having a slight mental breakdown. Carlisle was a scary motherfucker and after the tattoo

thing he wasn’t exactly the head cheerleader when it came to the Edward & Bella escapades.

“Maybe if you let me help we’d finish faster,” She said, interrupting my internal wig-out and trying

to pull my laptop toward her. I swatted her hands away and squinted.

“Swan, let me do this. Just go find the book.” I pointed weakly toward one of the shelves and Bella

growled at me. It was kind of kinky.

“Listen, shithead. I am capable of typing, believe it or not. You go get the book. I got up like five

times already.”

I looked up from my laptop and smirked at her.

“The whole reason why we’re here is because you can’t hold your liquor and fucked my best friend.

Get the book.”

It was a low blow, but it was true. Instead of spending my Friday night getting ripped out of my

mind and beating off the ladies with a stick per usual, I was stuck at the library doing extra credit

and trying to raise our shitty Bio grade before dinnertime. Our labs that were due during mine &

Bella’s little month long tiff were shiteous, and Carlisle flipped if I got anything less than an A

always.

“Fuck you,” Bella shouted, throwing her notebook at my head. The librarian cleared her throat and

glared in my direction, since Bella had already gotten up and stormed out. I ignored her little

dramatic exit and just sighed and sat there typing, trying to finish as quick as I could.

All was quiet on the Bella front. We were back to our typical dysfunctional mating dance, without

much progress as far as the relationship thing went. There was no risking permanent paralysis

climbing up trees, or sneaking in back doors for some third base action, or half-naked sleepovers on

school nights, or even making out for that matter. We were the farthest thing from comfortable with

each other. But, I was taking shit slow and waiting for her, since my brain was shot and I had no

more ideas. I was in a self-induced dry spell and it was killing me. That was why the dinner thing

came in to play.

All of a sudden Bella’s phone started vibrating on the table. I grabbed it and looked at the caller ID.

Blocked. Whenever Alice called my phone from her house it came up Blocked and that was where

everyone was tonight, since she was having her stupid ass annual ‘Winter Soiree’, so I picked it up,

figuring it was her.

“What do you want, gnome?” I said quietly into the phone, trying not to piss the PMS-ing librarian

off any more.

Silence.

“Who the hell is this?”

It was a dude’s voice, and not Jasper or Emmett or even Newton for fuck’s sake. And did the prick

just get rude with me? I was in no mood.

“Who the fuck is this? You called the phone.”

“Yeah, I called Bella’s phone, I don’t know why you’re answering it.”

Hell no.

I looked toward the glass doors to see if Bella was coming back but the hallway was dark.

“She’s not here, what do you want?”

“Just tell her that her boyfriend called. And if I were you I wouldn’t answer her phone again.”

Click.

Boyfriend? What in Hades was this shit?

I needed a drink before I dealt with this foolishness.

I pushed my chair back and slipped Bella’s phone in my pocket before grabbing my keys and

twirling them around my finger as I walked.

“Don’t let anyone steal my laptop,” I said to the librarian as I walked out the door. “I’ll take you to

small claims court.”

When I rounded the corner I saw Bella pacing back and forth, still pissed at me for my Jasper
comment. I probably deserved a ball tap for that shit, but there were more important things to

discuss.

“Funny thing,” I said to her as she turned around to face me. I tossed her the phone and crossed my

arms over my chest. “Some dude just called and said he was your boyfriend. Weird.”

She caught the sarcasm in my voice and squinted. “Why are you even answering my phone?”

“Uh, let’s look past the slight invasion of privacy to the more important issue. Since when do you

have a boyfriend?”

I was trying to stay cool but it was hard. That shit was bothering me. I felt like a tool.

“Uh, I don’t have a boyfriend. I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about,” Bella said, looking

through her phone to see who called. “What did he say?”

“Nothing that matters.”

Bella’s eyes suddenly widened before she furrowed her brow and snapped her phone shut, slipping

it into her pocket.

“He’s not my boyfriend, not even close. He’s just… psycho.”

She looked a little worried, and I didn’t know if it was because of the bullshit I said to her before or

because of the loser who just called, but either way I tried to lighten the mood.

“Uh… want me to kick his ass? I have a crowbar-”

“I’m good. He lives in Phoenix, it’s kind of a far trek.”

“Alright, maybe some other time. Come on,” I told her, heading toward the parking lot. Bella

shivered as we walked outside, our feet crunching in the snow that had started coming down while

we were in the library. Fuck my life. I hated the snow.

“Don’t bring up that Jasper shit again,” Bella said as she sat down in the passenger seat. I chuckled

and took a chug of the spare bottle I kept in my backseat for emergencies like this one. “It’s not

funny, dick.”

“Sorry.”

“Not okay.”

Bella fiddled with the radio for a couple seconds before snapping her head toward me.

“How the hell are you gonna get home if you’re drinking?”

“You can just drive my car,” I suggested. I never let anyone behind the wheel of my precious whip,

so I was hoping she’d notice the generous gesture.

“What about my car?”

“We’ll get it later,” I told her, taking a final guzzle. “Let’s just go get our crap and finish the lab at

my house after dinner. If we’re late Esme‘s gonna go apeshit.”

“I want to go to the party, though!”

I tried really hard not to roll my eyes at her, but it slipped out. “First off, it’s gonna be fucking

stupid, and second it’s all night long. Stop whining.”

My phone suddenly started going off in my pocket. I pulled it out and winced when I saw who it

was. A text from Junior Tramp.

Why aren’t you here yet?

I tried shielding the phone from Bella, which was usually a successful maneuver, but she saw it

anyway.

“Real slick,” She said, going for the door handle. I locked the door before she could open it, buying

myself time. “I see you’ve changed a lot.”

“Shut up,” I told her as she fiddled with the lock. “I can’t control who texts me.”

“You can tell her to fuck off and then maybe she won’t text you anymore.”

“I’m not gonna be rude for no reason,” I muttered, shoving my phone back in my pocket without

texting her back.

“Why not? You’re rude to me for no reason.”

“No, I’m rude to you because you’re being an annoying cranky bitch today. Seriously, chill out.

You’re like, on a Rosalie level. Let’s go get our stuff.”

After collecting our books and shit from the library, including me arguing with the librarian for 15

minutes to convince her to let us check out a reference book, we were on our way to my house.

“You can go a little faster. We’re not going through the supermarket parking lot, I think the speed

limit is more than 20.”

“It’s snowing out,” Bella spat at me, trying to figure out the windshield wipers. After a couple

seconds of her huffing and turning on the hazards, I laughed and leaned over her, flipping on the

wipers. “Thanks.”

I nodded and sipped at my bottle, staring out the windshield at the snow that was falling heavier and

heavier by the minute. I doubted we’d make it to the party at all if it kept up, but I didn’t tell her

that tidbit.

“Do your parents know your liver’s running on its last leg?” Bella asked me, pointing at the bottle

in my lap.

“Yep. They don’t care,” I lied. She gave me a look, and I laughed. “They have an idea about the

drinking. They don’t really know anything about me though,” I told her.

“That’s sad,” She said, playfully sticking out her bottom lip. She cringed as she pulled up to my

driveway, stepping on the brake.

“Not really, it’s kind of convenient- Bella, step on the fucking gas! I doubt we’re getting in a fatal

accident fifty yards from my house.”

Bella snorted.

“You’re a pain in the ass,” She muttered, stepping hard on the gas and making me fly back against

the seat. She stopped short in front of my garage and got out without waiting for me. Biotch.

I took my time getting to the front door, strictly just to piss her off. I even whistled and made a

snowball. She was shivering and gave me a death glare and the finger as I slowly pushed the door

open. I popped a piece of gum in my mouth in case Carlisle tried interrogating me and I took

Bella’s coat from her, throwing it in the closet on the way to the kitchen. Esme’s face lit up when

we walked into view.

“Hi Esme!” Bella said, smiling and walking to next to her. Talk about multiple personalities.

“Bella! I’m so glad you came!”

Bella took the wooden spoon from Esme’s hand and started helping her cook, making herself at

home. It was actually kind of endearing. After debating if I should stab myself in the throat with a

butter knife for actually using the word endearing to describe Bella, I hopped up on the counter

behind them and started picking at a piece of bread. Esme turned around and winked at me over her

shoulder.

“So, how was school Edward?”

“Incredible,” I said sarcastically, my mouth full.

“You should put brown sugar in this. Have you ever done it before?” Bella asked, pointing at

whateverthefuck Esme was cooking.

“No, but it sounds good. Edward, get the-”

“It’s in the pantry,” I said, interrupting Esme. I was too busy thinking about an amazing idea I had

that involved my bottle of Jack and an inconspicuous Camelback, to get distracted. Bella shook her

head and walked past me.

“You’re so polite,” She whispered on her way back. I smirked and took another bite of the bread.

Esme and her ignored me as they went on cooking and bonding and talking about ponies or

whatever else women did.

Bella’s sucking-up-to-parents-skills were far more developed then mine. Let’s be real. I was pretty

sure that even if I spent the next 50 years trying to suck up to Charlie he’d still want to rip out my

jugular with his teeth, and Bella was gonna own Esme by the time dinner was over.

Suddenly Carlisle walked into the kitchen, kind of shocked at what he was seeing.

“What’s this? Edward home on a Friday night for dinner? What happened, is my liquor cabinet

empty?”

Five seconds in the room and I was already about to knee Carlisle in the junk.

“Ha-ha,” I muttered as he messed up my hair. He tossed an envelope onto the counter next to me,

but I didn’t bother picking it up.

“Hi Dr. Cullen!” Bella shouted, holding the spoon up to Esme’s mouth. “Look, you can’t even see

the scar!” She pointed at the back of her head where Carlisle had stitched her up on that unholy day.

“Bella, this is amazing! You should’ve cooked the whole dinner.”

Bella laughed, and normally I’d just say Esme was being a phony bitch, but I’d eaten Bella’s

cooking before and let’s just say… it’s possible to get a boner from food. Truth.

“Edward, set the table,” Esme ordered. I hopped off the counter and pulled out the plates roughly,

purposely making some excessive clanking and clattering noises. No one paid attention to me. It

was pretty typical.

“I’ll help you,” Bella said, stacking utensils and napkins on top of the plates before following me

into the dining room.

I tossed a plate in front of each seat, not really giving two shits if they broke. Bella followed after

everything I did, straightening it and making it look normal since apparently I’m incompetent.

“Your mom is so nice. I still don’t understand how you turned out to be such a dipshit.”

And then I did the unthinkable.

“A dipshit you love,” I murmured. It kind of slipped out, due to my lack of sobriety and the fact that

she kept insulting me and making me fuckin heated and I was still trying to sort out my Camelback

idea.

Bella didn’t say anything, she just kept folding the napkins and looking down at the table.

“What, no witty comeback?”

“I joke around, you’re just… offensive,” She said, sighing. She started placing glasses at each

setting, not looking at me and making me feel like a dumbass. Probably because I’m a dumbass.

I needed to stop being a brooding asshole and do some quick heart mending, so I trotted over next

to her and put my arm around her shoulders, quickly pulling her body closer to mind and planting a

kiss on the top of her head. And then I smelled her hair and all our sexcapades started floating into

my sauced up brain and I realized my plan was backfiring and Carlisle would be really unhappy if

he walked in on me mauling Chief’s daughter on his dining room table so I shot to the other side of

the table and started playing with a fork that Bella had just fixed.

She raised an eyebrow at me and at that moment, Carlisle walked in. For the first time since… I

don’t know, ever, I was glad to have him interrupting. Bella left the room and returned a minute

later behind Esme, placing all the food on the table. She sat next to me and pushed her seat closer to

mine, flashing a grin at me.

“So, Bella. How’s your father?” Carlisle asked Bella, folding his hands on top of the table.

“He’s good,” Bella answered, picking up my plate and serving me first. Atta girl.

“Does he know you’re here now?”

Bella sighed and scrunched her nose a little before shaking her head.

“My father feels that Edward and I aren’t good influences on each other. I disagree,” She said,

winking at me. Carlisle shot me a look and swallowed the food in his mouth before he talked.

“I disagree also. I’m sure it’s just Edward who’s the bad influence,” He retorted, chuckling into his

napkin.

Bella scratched her head and sat down.

“No. Edward always behaves around me,” She lied.

Me? Behave? Okay. If behaving meant drinking like a fish and blatantly ignoring every rule my

parents or anyone of authority gave me, then sure, I behaved.

Then I realized it was her way of sticking up for me since my dear father was being the typical

douche that he was, and she seemed to have a problem with people insulting me. Unless it was her

that was doing the insulting, of course.

“Well, that’s good to hear,” Esme said, smiling. She was getting way too much pleasure out of this

whole dinner ordeal.

“Yep, it is,” Carlisle added. “If only you came along sooner, who knows what Edward would be like

now…” He trailed off.

I guessed if she’d been around earlier I’d still be pretty much the same, minus a few forced STD

exams on Carlisle’s behalf. But that’s what I liked about her. Minus the complaints about the

skanks, she seemed to like me the way I was.

I reached under the table and grabbed Bella’s fingers, squeezing them gently. She smiled at me, and

then I felt like a fag so I let go and moved my hand to my lap. I watched Bella put another fork of

food in her mouth and then she dropped her fork in her plate and I felt her hand move back on top

of mine, squeezing my fingers again. Dinner was way more enjoyable with her around.

After we were done, Bella politely- AKA annoyingly- volunteered us to do the dishes. She even

made me wear Esme’s stupid flowered apron thing because she thought it was funny. I was a little

too drunk to argue.

“That was fun,” She said, sticking a plate in the dishwasher. “I think your dad’s warming up to me.”
“Surprisingly, I think so too. Now we just need to work on your parentals,” I said, shaking my head.

“If I showed up for dinner at your house I’m pretty sure Charlie’s gun would be on the table the

whole time.”

“Yeah, we’ll save that adventure for some other time,” She agreed, shaking out her wet hands.

“Okay, we’re done.”

“So,” I ripped off the apron and threw it across the kitchen. “Bio or party? Your choice.”

I knew I was probably trippin’ if I was expecting her to choose Bio, but it was worth the shot. Don’t

get me wrong, I love myself a good party, but god damn parties always meant disaster for me &

Bella. I was willing to skip it for the sake of my sanity.

“I choose… party!” Bella shouted, sticking her arm in the air and giving a victory pump.

“Easy,” I told her. She was ridiculous. I couldn’t help but laugh as we tromped up the stairs to my

room so I could change.

Bella sprawled out on my bed and flipped through a magazine that was lying on top of it. I’m

guessing it was something pornographic since my nights now consisted of me, some shiny

centerfolds, and a Kleenex box. Pretty pathetic.

I figured the way to get back into Bella’s heart would start with some EC loving, and I was ready to

make a valiant effort toward that happening. I pulled some shit from my closet and started changing

right in front of her, trying to get some kind of a reaction. When I looked at her she was still

flipping through the magazine, once again not even phased.

“Ugh, combat boots? Really? That shouldn’t be allowed in here…” She said to herself, turning the

page with disgust. Yep, it was definitely a porno mag.

After ripping off my shirt I dropped my pants and drunkenly kicked the pile of laundry toward my

closet.

“I see your booty,” Bella said with a chuckle. Not the reaction I was looking for.

I gave up on the striptease and threw the rest of my clothes on, probably looking like a hot mess. I

could care less.

“Yo, let’s have a talk,” I said, sitting in my desk chair and rolling it toward her. She sat up on the

bed, Indian style, and waited. “So… uh… let’s not go to the party.”

“What’s your fucking problem, Edward? I want to go. Stop being so emo.”

“I’m not being emo, woman. Don’t you remember what happened at the last party we went to? And

the one before that? I’m trying to avoid some redundant conflict, here.”

Bella took a deep breath and stood up from the bed. She walked in front of the mirror and fluffed up

her hair before spinning around to face me.

“We’re not dating, Edward. I mean, we fooled around for a couple weeks like… two months ago. It

didn’t work out. I’m over it. I’m not gonna get mad at you for fooling around with other girls or

anything.”

That short sentence, “I’m over it” could bring as much pain as it did joy.

I sat there and stared at her blankly, because truth be told, I was a little fucking baffled. It pissed me

off that she was belittling me like that, like I wasn’t important to her or something. I was trying to

make shit work. I was jerking it so much I had a serious case of chaffing, just so I wasn’t tempted to

be with anyone else. I was bringing her home to dinner. I was being uncharacteristic and going

against my nature by being courteous and not pushing her to hook up with me again, and she says

some shit like that? What the fuck?

“Fine,” I said, standing up from my chair. If she wanted to be a cold hearted bitch, I’d be one too. I

mean, not a bitch just… cold hearted. I tossed her the keys and lead the way out of the room,

preparing myself for a sure-fire night of bullshit.

*

BPOV

“Seriously, I could’ve broken out the Schwinn and we would’ve gotten here faster,” Edward

grumbled, unbuckling his seatbelt. The fucker had been grouchy since we left the house. I wasn’t

about to kill myself in the Volvo and I wasn’t exactly experienced when it came to snow, so I guess

my snail-paced driving set him over the edge a little. I didn’t care.

Edward was fucking sexy when he was angry.

I don’t know what he was trying to do to me, but the hot and cold games were kind of driving me

insane. Today was the first day we’d hung out alone since… I don’t even know when, and he got all

weird when I said something about him being with other girls. I don’t even know why the hell I

encouraged him, but I figured if I let him know that I didn’t expect him to stay celibate and he did it

anyway, then that had to mean he had some kind of feelings for me still. Because I wasn’t sure.

He hadn’t climbed through my window. The only time I saw him was if we were at school or if we

were all hanging out as a group on weekends. He didn’t make any effort to talk to me about

anything or even try to seem like he was interested in me. And then he went and confused the fuck

out of me and invited me to dinner and held my hand and stripped down to his underwear in front of

me. It was all getting to be a little ludicrous. I needed a stiff drink, on the fly.

“Edward, it’s slippery! Remember what happened last time I fell?”

Edward stopped halfway up the driveway and waited for me. He was sipping something through a

tube that was coming out of his backpack. I stared at it for a minute and frowned before I latched

onto his arm.

“Want some?” He asked, taking it out of his mouth and handing it to me. I stuck the end in my

mouth and sucked, wincing at the taste.

“Jack? Ughhh.” I gulped and handed the straw thing back to him. “What exactly is the point of one

of these bad boys anyway?” I asked, pointing at his weird backpack thing.

“It’s for camping. It’s Carlisle’s. We hike a lot, so we have a lot of this crap,” Edward said, biting

down on the straw.

I cringed because Edward + excessive amounts of liquor always = a calamity.

After walking past some dude that was peeing and Edward kicking his knees out, we made our way

inside Alice’s house. I headed straight for the kitchen, not wanting to be anywhere around Edward

when he turned his lady-catching switch on.

“Bella!” Alice screamed and chaotically jumped off her barstool, making it tumble to the ground. I

estimated she was… six drinks under. “Take a shot!” She shouted, slamming an empty shot glass

onto the table and knocking shit over trying to reach for the bottle. Her hair was sticking up on one

side and the strap of her dress was completely ripped off. Damn Edward for making me go to

dinner. I was missing good stuff, here.

“Alice, give me that,” Rose said, grabbing the bottle from her hand and pouring it into my glass.

Alice had successfully spilled half the bottle on the counter, getting zero actually in the shot.

I downed the shot and heard some thunderous yelling coming from the back porch, so I went to see

what was happening.

“Bella!” Jasper screamed as I came into view, waving me over. “Watch this shit.”

Emmett was sprawled out along a couch, his shirt off. There was some guy leaving over him with

pliers and… a needle? That just screamed bad news.

“Uhh… maybe you should think about this, Emmett,” I said, shaking my head.

“Shut up, Bella! Don’t listen to her Em, it’s gonna be pimp,” Jasper said, shaking Emmett’s

shoulders to pump him up. I figured I’d probably puked if I stood there and watched without being

more drunk, so I walked back into the kitchen.

Sure enough, Mr. Avid Outdoorsman and his Camelback were sitting at the counter with Alice and

Rose and a bunch of other cheerleading / BJ enthusiasts that I cared nothing about. There was some

blonde bitch standing next to him and doing some of those 'trying to be sexy moves' that Jessica and

Lauren made famous. I sneered and walked around him, holding my empty shot glass up to Rose.

“I’m in urgent need of a refill,” I told her, trying to hide the malevolence in my voice. Rose just

shook her head and poured the glass.

“Edward, do you want to take a shot with Bella?” Rose said, interrupting Blondie’s sexual

whisperings in his ear. Slut.

“Yep,” He said, waving me over. I gave him a look and he smirked, trying to conspicuously move

himself away from blonde girl. Thank god.

I shoved myself between him and wannabe-Barbie and grabbed the shot. Edward patted the spot on

his lap, so I jumped up, mostly just to be spiteful. And to send a warning to all the other bitches

around to stay-thefuck-away.

“Rose, you should go outside. I think Emmett’s about to get a back alley nipple piercing,” I said.

Rose screamed and ran to the back of the house, and there was the distinct sound of slapping.

Edward & I laughed that shit up before downing the shot.

“Where’d your lady go?” I asked Edward sarcastically, looking around when I realized the tramp

had kicked rocks. He frowned and crinkled his nose.

“Stop being jealous,” He said, resting his hand on my thigh and squeezing it. “Oh wait, I forgot, you

don’t care what I do because you’re over it.”

He chuckled and bit down on his stupid liquor tube that I was ready to shove down his throat.

“I think you should get your nipple pierced,” Edward said after his gulp, winking at my boob when

he said nipple.

“Um, I’m good, thanks.”

He smirked and moved his hand up so it was on my elbow, and then he slid it slowly down my arm

and gripped his hand around mine. He rested the back of my palm on the counter and I heard his

faint sigh in my ear.

Edward was holding my hand. In public. It seemed retarded, but my heart was beating fast.

Something stupid and small like holding hands was a big fucking deal for Edward. He deserved a

medal or a trophy or something. I was so confused.

When I looked around I counted sixteen female heads staring in my direction, most of them

sneering, fangs showing and all. I got a little freaked out so I pulled my hand away from his and

poured us two more shots. It was going to be a long, mystifying night apparently.

I stayed by Edward’s side for most of the night. He shook off girls left and right, never hesitating or

sparing anyone’s feelings. I’m not sure if that was a good thing, but it worked in my favor so I

enjoyed it. Slowly, everyone started clearing out since the snow was getting worse and worse,

leaving just the six of us at the house. I was falling asleep on Alice’s sofa, using Edward’s coat as a

pillow.

“Bella, get up!” Alice shouted in my ear. She was beyond twisted. “You can stay in my parent’s

bedroom.”

I opened my eyes and frowned, looking around for Edward.

“Stankwardddd, where are you?” I whined, not wanting to walk upstairs on my own. Edward

stumbled into the room, still sucking on his Camelback thing that had been empty for an hour and

holding a beer in his hand.

“What,” He said, trying to ignore Emmett’s shouting in the kitchen.

“I’m tired. Come sleep with me in Alice’s parents room,” I murmured. Edward groaned and looked

into the kitchen and then back at me.

“Ughhh,” He said, finally taking off the stupid backpack and dropping his beer on the counter. “I’m

retiring for the night, Fellas. See ya in the AM.”

I yawned as Edward led the way up the stairs, Emmett and Jasper screaming pussy-whipped and

bitch and whatever other comments their drunken minds could come up with behind him. He

ignored them and looked over his shoulder, chuckling at the difficult time I was having going up the

stairs.

When we got into the room, I shut the door quickly behind me and grabbed Edward’s arm, spinning

him toward me.

“I had fun today,” I slurred, trying to hold back a hiccup. “Why can’t you be like this always?”

“I can be,” Edward said, blinking and looking down at his feet.

And then, using the ever-handy drunk excuse, I grabbed Edward’s collar and pulled forward,

crushing his lips against mine. He placed his hands flat on the wall behind my head and pushed his

face harder against mine so that I was pinned against the wall. I missed kissing Edward at will, and

it had been so long since I did. His familiar smell filled my nostrils, and his mouthwatering taste

was on my tongue, and it was amazing. I cupped his face with both of my hands and pulled him

closer to me so that I could kiss him over and over, because he actually kept himself from acting

like a dick the whole night, and I knew it was for me.

My fingers were in his hair, and his hands had moved to the middle of my back, and his lips were at

my neck, when suddenly we both felt the vibration of the phone in my pocket. Edward pulled his

face back and looked at me, probably wondering who the fuck was calling me at that time. I knew

who it was, but I didn’t feel like explaining, so I smiled and slipped the phone out of my pocket,

reaching my arm back, ready to throw it across the room. Edward grabbed my wrist and frowned

before pointing at the phone.

“Pick it up,” He said, clearly suspicious.

Fuck fuck fuck.

“I don’t want to,” I said, unclenching my hand and letting the phone drop to the floor. Edward

raised an eyebrow at me and squinted, taking a couple steps back so that he was sitting on the bed.

“You’re up to something shady,” He said, still squinting.

“I’m really, really-” I hiccupped. “Not.”

Edward shook his head and moved up to the head of the bed, clearly not believing me. Whatever.

“I’m going to bed, Swan,” He said, clicking off the light. “Goodnight.”

I was too drunk to comprehend what was going on, or if Edward was mad, or whateverthefuck else,

so I stood in the pitch dark for a few seconds before climbing into the bed and cuddling up next to

him, not saying anything. After a couple minutes I felt his arm wrap around me and I drifted off to

sleep.

17.Together

BPOV

I opened my eyes hesitantly, trying to figure out my situation. I was at Alice's house. Her parents’

bedroom. Without even lifting my head, I smelt Edward's shirt and felt instant relief. Thank God. I

don't think I would've been able to deal with another incident like the Jasper one without having to

check myself into a padded room.

Slowly, I reached behind me and lifted up Edward's arm, rolling over gently so I wouldn't wake him

up. I sat up and stared at him for who knows how long, just watching the amazing son of a bitch

sleep. He was so beautiful. His eyelashes fluttered every couple of seconds, and his lips were parted

slightly, revealing the tip of his perfect tongue. Holy shit, I was losing it. Morning breath or not, all

I wanted to do was stick my tongue in his mouth and wiggle it around.

I watched his chest move up and down for a little while before I stood up and walked over to the

window. It had snowed even more overnight, and as far as I could see, everything was white. We
didn’t have snow in Phoenix. Suddenly I heard a low groan, and my head spun toward Edward. I

hopped back onto the bed and kneeled over him, smiling as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes.

"What time is it?" Edward asked through a yawn. I shrugged and pointed at the window.

"You should see how much it snowed! It’s a whiteout! We're going to be stuck here forever!"

"No we're not," Edward said, rolling his eyes, his voice still raspy. "The Volvo is amazing in

inclement weather."

Edward reached his arms out and wrapped them around me, pulling my body tight against his chest.

I laid there for a second, not fighting him back, just enjoying being that close to him. I was getting

restless. I decided right then we were straightening shit out today, before we continued fighting

back and forth and ripping each other’s heads off due to sexual frustration.

"Let's go," I said. "Do you want to come over?"

Charlie was gone for the weekend, so I figured I'd go out on a limb and invite Edward over, since I

was eager and desperate and all I wanted to do was to spend more alone time with him.

"I need a shower," he said, scratching the stubble on his cheek.

"Take one at my house. Charlie is ice fishing or some hillbilly nonsense like that until tomorrow."

Edward thought about it for a couple seconds and shrugged.

"Fine. Let's go."

Within an hour, we were walking to my house from Edward's car, which he'd conveniently parked

around the corner. I ran through the untouched snow in the front yard, giggling as Edward took the

beaten path Charlie had made. I dropped my snow-covered jacket at the entranceway and stomped

my feet on the floor, shaking the snot from my boots.

"Can we go play in the snow?" I asked Edward. He looked at me like I was psycho.

"Absolutely not."

"I'm from Arizona! I've never seen snow like this before!"

"You can go out there and freeze your ass off all you want. I'm good."

I sighed and started walking up the stairs, stopping at the top to grab two towels from the closet

before making my way to the bathroom. Edward followed quietly behind me. He seemed a little

weird, probably due to the fact that he was still pissed off at me for yesterday. I didn’t even

remember what happened, but whatever it was, I’m sure it was all my fault.

"Uh... So this is no custom designer marble shower or anything, but it works. You just have to turn-"

Edward interrupted me, turning his head from the mirror where he was inspecting his stubble.

"I think I can figure out how to turn the shower on, thanks."

"Oooh-kay then. Hurry up."

I left the bathroom and walked into my room, trying to fight the urge to go jump in the shower with

Edward. It was pretty difficult. To distract myself, I pulled clean clothes out of my closet and left

them in a pile on my bed. Since I had time to kill, I sat at my desk and started going through my

backed up e-mail, most of which were from Renee. I was still holding a grudge so I only responded

to one, and I made it pretty short. She’d get the point. All of a sudden my phone started vibrating on

my desk, making me jump. I picked it up without checking to see who it was first. Big mistake.

"Hello?"

"Hey Bella."

My stomach twisted when I heard his voice.

I gulped and closed my laptop, spinning around in my chair.

"Why do you keep calling all of a sudden?" I asked him.

"I'm going to Seattle soon and I wanted to meet up."

"Yeah, my schedules kind of full so I don't think it's gonna work out," I lied, not even trying to fake

enthusiasm.

I had zero desire to see him.

"Busy with your new boyfriend?"

"Uh, I have no boyfriend. Not that it's any of your business."

No answer.

"Well, Bella, I'll give you a call when I'm in town."

"Yep, bye."

Creepy. That was a call that was gonna go unanswered.

I heard the shower shut off so I hopped out of my chair and skipped toward the bathroom. I knocked

a couple times before Edward yanked the door open. My mouth instantly dropped. I mean, yeah, I’d

seen him naked before and even showered with him, but it’d been so long and he was so… uhhhhh.

His hair was shiny and messy and wet and there were little droplets of water running down his bare

chest and his towel hung dangerously low on his hips and all I wanted to do was get on my knees

and lick the drops of water off his happy trail. I'm pretty sure I was drooling.

"You need to shave," I muttered, running my hand across his cheek.

"I could've if you would've let me go home."

"I'll do it," I suggested, pushing past him and turning on the sink. "Sit here," I told him, pointing at

the countertop.

"I feel like this is a bad idea," Edward grumbled. He hesitantly hopped onto the counter and

watched me.

"It's not, I'm really good."

I ran my hands under the hot water and filled them with shaving cream before cupping them around

Edward's face. He closed one eye and smirked at me, clearly worried. Just as I was about to touch

the razor to his cheek, he grabbed my wrist and cringed.

"Bella, if you make me into Scarface, so help me god. I won't be responsible for my actions."

"Calm down, you prissy bitch. I'm not gonna ruin your perfect face."

Edward was silent as I started moving the razor along his cheek. I was completely done with one

side of his face before he finally started relaxing.

"So," he said. "Who's this guy that keeps calling?"

I should've known he was going to ask.

"If you keep talking I'll probably cut you," I mumbled, trying to change the subject.

“That’s not an answer,” he said. I could feel his eyes burning into me even though I wasn’t looking

at him.

“I know… it’s stupid, I don’t even want to talk about it.”

“Well I want to know,” he insisted, his voice getting angrier.

“I said I don’t want to talk about it.”

"Bella," Edward said, grabbing my hand that was holding the razor and dropping it on his lap. "Do

you even... want to be with me?"

Did I want to be with him?

Was he serious?

Of course I wanted to. That was all I fucking wanted.

"Yes," I said sheepishly, looking down at my feet.

"Honest people don't hide their deeds," Edward said, quoting Wuthering Heights. He looked hurt

and confused and once again it was alllll my fault.

"I thought you hated that book."

"I do," He said. "Who is he?"

"He's no one," I said, continuing on his chin where I left off. "He's the guy I mentioned that was

older, and he liked me and I was stupid, so I did... whatever because he was hot and I was wasted

and he turned out to be this total creepo and he keeps calling me because he's gonna be in Seattle

and he wants to see me but I don't want to see him. I feel like he'd do some psycho shit like kidnap

me or chop me up or something... I don't know. Maybe I'm exaggerating."

Saying that whole speech made me be completely out of breath. And that was just the abridged

version. Edward just chuckled and shook his head.

"Well, if you want me to fuck him up the offers still on the table."

"Thanks."

I patted Edward's face with a towel to wipe of the excess shaving cream as he smiled at me.

"How do I look?"

"Clean," I told him, pointing at the mirror. "Look."

He admired himself in the mirror for a minute before turning back to me, smirking.

“Thanks, Bel.” Edward hopped off the counter and paused for a second, his mouth open. “Hey.

Let’s talk for a minute-”

“Hold that thought,” I said, reaching into the shower and turning it on. “I feel like ass right now.

Just get out and let me shower. I’ll be really fast.”

Edward picked his pile of clothes up and walked out, shutting the door behind him.

I tried to shower as quickly as I could, suddenly ridiculously excited at the fact that Edward was

right in the other room. Like he’d never been there or something. It had been so long since he'd

been at my house.

While I was rinsing the shampoo out of my hair, I had a kind-of-epiphany. Instead of just talking to
Edward about us and have the typical crap conversation that we’d already had plenty of times, why
wouldn’t I just tell him what I wanted? Him. I wanted to be with him. I needed to be with him. The

games were making me tired and jealous and I was always pissed off and making stupid decisions

because I was confused as hell. Us being together could fix all of that. I figured now would be a

good time to talk to him about stuff that was going on with us. While it was open for discussion.

Because I didn't want to wait anymore, or fight anymore, or mess everything up again.

I got dressed and ran my fingers through my wet hair before I flew to my room, where Edward had

fallen asleep on my bed.

I slid onto the bed and got on my knees so I was facing him. He opened his eyes when my weight

made the mattress shift. I put my palms flat against his chest and took a deep breath.

Suddenly I didn't know what to say.

"Edward, I trust you," I spat, because it was the only thing I could think to say that I knew he'd find

meaning in. "Do you trust me?"

"Umm… yeah," He said, kind of baffled. He brushed his fingers across my palm and smirked.

"What's-"

"Are you sure? Like after what I did, can you honestly say you trust me?"

"People make mistakes, Swan."

"So you're over it? Like it doesn't bother you anymore, at all?"

Edward sat up and shook his head. He combed his fingers through his damp hair, clearly trying to

think of what to say. I inched closer to him on the bed and rested my hands on his legs.

"Of course it bothers me. That shit tore me up for weeks. I wanted to puke every time I thought

about it. But do I think you'll do it again? No. You said you're sorry and you regret it. I'm not going

to hold it against you forever. So... yeah- I'm over it. I trust you. Why?"

"I don't want to do this anymore," I said, waving my hands at the space between us. “This whole,

are we, aren’t we, can I do this, can I do that, should I choke slam that girl for flirting with Edward,

is it okay if I act this way around him- I don’t want to do it anymore. I want you.”

Edward raised his eyebrows and nodded.

“Uh… alright. I don’t really know what you just said, but go on.”

"I'm... I love you. Like, I honestly and truly love you, and I know you don't love me and you don't

have to right now, but I want to be with you. Do you... want to be with me?"

Edward gulped and bit his bottom lip, looking down at the bed. I reached over and grabbed his

fingers, and his eyes moved to our hands.

"Yeah," He said, still looking down. Then he looked into my eyes and nodded. "Yeah, I want to be

with you."

"You do?"

"Yeah."

"Are you positive?"

"Yep."

"So then, we're-"

"Yeah," he answered, chucking.

I was elated.

Edward Cullen was my boyfriend. My boyfriend. Beautiful, arrogant, smart, flaky, funny, cranky,

ridiculous, amazing Edward was mine.

All mine.

I didn't know what to do. I jumped forward into his arms, knocking his head into the wall, but he

didn't care. I grabbed his face and kissed his lips over and over and over again and I kissed his face

and his neck and his collarbone and I yanked at his hair and I kept giving him sloppy kisses

everywhere because he was mine and I could do that if I wanted to. And then I just wrapped my

arms around his neck and I hugged him as tightly as I could and held his body close to mine

because I never wanted to let him go, ever.

"I'm so happy," I said into Edward's neck, letting out an excited giggle.

"Yeah?" He asked, laughing. "So now that I'm yours, does that mean we get to do it?"

I pulled back so he could see my face and I sneered at him.

"Is that why you agreed to this? Just to sleep with me?"

Edward laughed and fiddled with a lock of my hair.

"Oh, shut up, of course not. I was joking. I tend to do that often."

"Sure."

"I don't care, we can wait as long as you want. I've already waited this long, what's another couple

days or weeks or months or... years? Please not years, though."

He looked worried.

"Probably not years," I assured him.

"Lovely."

We both laughed again. I was so fucking ecstatic, I was struggling not to smile and laugh and squeal

like an incompetent moron every two seconds.

"This is so weird. I've never really had a boyfriend before. What do we do? Like, do we go to prom

and make out in your car on lovers lane and wear matching clothes?"

"Easy," He said, shaking his head at me. "I seriously have no idea. Just to warn you in advance, I'll

probably be a shitty boyfriend."

"Not possible," I told him. "I mean... It can't be much different then what we're doing now, right?"

Edward shrugged. "I guess."

“Well, I like how you are now.”

He drummed his fingers against my wall anxiously.

"I feel like I should mark my territory or something," Edward said, standing up from the bed.

"Please don't pee on me."

"No! I mean like, your room," He said, rummaging through the piles of crap on my desk.

"Please don't pee in my room."

He sighed and shook his head. "Nevermind."

"I know!" I hopped up from my bed and ran to my closet, searching along the shelves for what I

was looking for. "Smile!"

I spun toward Edward and snapped a picture of him before yanking it out of the camera and waving

the Polaroid in the air. Edward just stood there, looking a little confused.

"Renee sent it to me for my birthday," I informed him, still waving the picture around. I looked

down at it and gasped. "You're even hotter in pictures! I recommend a career in modeling."

"No thanks. I'm shooting for something that'll last me longer than three years."

I stuck Edward's picture onto my mirror with a piece of tape and spun back around to him.

"There's your mark. Now we need something for your room," I said, tapping my finger against my

chin.

I turned my back to Edward and lifted my shirt, snapping a picture of my bare chest. Ha.

"Thanks," He said, snatching the picture from my hand and sticking it in his back pocket. "This

sucker's going in the Volvo. Even better."

I rolled my eyes and flung my camera onto the bed.

"So. Do you want breakfast?"

A little while later, I was downstairs with Edward in the kitchen, feeding him French toast as he sat

on the counter.

"Mmmm," he groaned with delight, swallowing his mouthful of food. "You're such a good cook."

"Thanks.""How'd you learn?"

I stuck another fork into Edward's mouth and looked down at his lap with a shrug.

"I don't know. My mom was never there so I always cooked for myself."

He noticed the somber tone in my voice and cleared his throat.

"I can relate to the whole parental neglect thing. Mine were never around either. Kind of explains

why I am the way I am. Not to mention I was a mistake and they never wanted kids in the first

place."

"Neither did mine. Your situation is still way better. At least your parents are still together. Not to

mention rich and always buying you stuff."

"Yeah well, money doesn't equal love,” Edward said, looking down at the ground and scratching his

cheek. “At least you have Charlie. He’s a dick but at least you know he cares.”

I looked up at Edward and forced a smile, running my fingers through his hair. It was rare that we

had serious conversations, so I appreciated him talking to me about shit- like our ridiculous parents-

at all.

"If I can get Charlie to let you come to dinner, will you?"

Edward stared at me blankly and shook his head.

"No. Not a chance."

"He's really not that bad."

"I disagree."

"I'll cook you whatever you want," I begged him, getting up on my tiptoes to kiss him. "This is

something boyfriends do, Edward. Don’t be a shitty one."

Edward groaned and nodded.

"Fine."

I'm sure Edward doubted I could get Charlie to agree to such a thing. Actually, I kind of doubted it,

too. But now that we were actually together, I didn't want to hide it from Charlie. Or anyone else for

that matter. I was ready to go into school Monday with my tattoo visible and climb to the roof and

scream my declaration of love for Edward so everyone could hear it. I was honestly that crazy about

him.

Edward and I spent the rest of the day together, doing pointless nonsense. Still, it was amazing. I
made him lunch and dinner and found so much pleasure in him moaning and complementing my

food. We watched some Christmas movie, since that was all that was on, and we took a nap together

on the couch. I convinced him to go outside with me and we made a snowman. Actually, Edward

insisted on a "snowwoman," boobs and bellybutton and all. I noticed that his parents didn’t call

once to see where he was, even though he hadn’t been home since the day before. Anyway, we

worked on our Bio project, and by the time we were almost done, I was falling asleep sitting up.

Turns out playing in the snow is strenuous. He carried me up to my bed, and I groggily tried to get

his pants unzippered, but I was exhausted and he knew it, so he pushed my hand away and turned

on his iPod and put one in my ear and sung along with the words until I fell asleep.

*

“Bella,” Edward whispered, gently shaking me. “Bella, get up.”

“What?” I asked groggily, still disoriented.

“I just heard your dad’s car pull up. I’m gonna go, because your car isn’t here and he might come up

here to see if you’re home.”

“Don’t go,” I said, wrapping my arms around his torso as he sat up and struggled to put his shoes

back on.

“I have to. Call me when you get up, okay?”

I pouted and nodded, scurrying across the room the help him out of the window.

“Be careful, Edward!”

He turned and smirked at me, pecking me quickly on the lips before hopping outside and landing

with a thud. I watched as he flew through my backyard, until he was out of view. It was freezing

outside. I shut the window and shivered before walking downstairs to greet Charlie. I was already

up, so might as well start working on him early.

I brushed my teeth and ran downstairs, following the smell of coffee.

“You know how to work a coffeemaker?” I asked Charlie. I was shocked.

“I’m not completely useless.”

I smiled and sat across from him at the table as he read through the newspaper.

“Why are you up so early? And where’s your car?”

“I heard you come in. My car’s at school, it was snowing really bad and I was afraid to drive so I

rode to Alice’s with her.” Lie. “And then yesterday was even worse, so she just dropped me off

here.” Double lie.

“It snows here, Bella. You’re gonna need to learn how to drive in the snow.”

“I know,” I said, looking down at the table and picking at a piece of wood that was popped up.

“So how are you getting to school tomorrow?”

“I’ll just have Edward pick me up,” I said, like it wasn’t a big deal or something. I’d already
confessed my love for him to Charlie, so the fact that we’re dating shouldn’t have come as a

surprise.

Charlie rolled his eyes and shook his head, not looking up from his newspaper. “Bella, you know

what I have to say about that.”

“Yeah, well… um, see, I wanted to talk to you about something.” I sighed and cleared my throat

before clenching the edge of the table.

“What?” Charlie said, not amused.

“Now, before you start yelling and turning all red and wrinkly, just hear me out.”

“Here we go.”

I ignored him.

“Edward and I are together. Dating. And I know how you feel, and I understand why you feel that

way, but I want you to know he’s different now. I mean, he hasn’t gotten into any trouble with you

since I’ve known him, right? And also, he’ll be around the house often so it’s probably within both

our best interests for the two of you to get along.”

Charlie stared at me blankly.

“Are you out of your mind?”

“Nope. I love him, daddy. Please, please, please, I’m begging you, just give him a chance. If he

does something wrong to me, I’ll give you free reign to threaten him with the shotgun at your will.

Please.”

Charlie mumbled something under his breath that sounded like “early grave” but I wasn’t sure. I sat

there and waited for the wrinkles in his forehead to start disappearing.

“Fine, Bella. Do whatever you want. You always do.”

“See, that’s not the kind of response I was looking for. I was kind of hoping for ‘I’m really happy

that you’re happy, Bella’ or maybe ‘Oh, invite Edward over for dinner’ or something along those

lines.”

Charlie laughed at me.

“Yeah, bring him here for dinner, Bella. Tonight. Go ahead.”

It sounded like a threat.

I was done trying to reason with this stubborn grouchy bastard.

“Okay,” I said, smiling. “You’ll see, Dad. He’s not so bad.”

*

I immediately regretted the whole dinner thing when I saw who Charlie brought as a date.

His pistol.

Yep, it was sitting on the table, right there next to Edward’s future seat, just like he suspected.

“I think you’re being slightly dramatic,” I said as I dropped a pan onto the tabletop.

Charlie smirked and shook his head.

“What’s your boyfriend a wuss or something?”

“No. I’m pretty sure any 17 year-old who had a loaded gun aimed at them from two feet away

would be uncomfortable.”

Suddenly there was a light rapping at the door. I cocked my head and stuck my tongue at Charlie

before going to answer it.

“Hey,” Edward said as I opened the door, his eyebrows raised. It took a good 3 hours of coaxing for

me to get him to leave his house.

“Hi.” I winked at him and stepped to the side, letting him into the house. “You can sit,” I told him,

pointing at the empty seat across from Charlie.

He stopped dead in his tracks and his eyes shot from the gun to Charlie to me. And then he turned

for the door.

“No, no, no. Sit down,” I said, pushing him into his seat. “Dad. Put it away, please.”

Charlie huffed and put the gun back in its holster.

“I feel like that’s illegal,” Edward mumbled, clearly a little taken aback. I giggled and sat down next

to him.

“So, Edward,” Charlie said between clenched teeth. “Do your parents know you’re here?”

Why the hell is that the first question people ask when you go somewhere for dinner?

“Yep. They’re happy. They like Bella a lot.”

Charlie frowned and started poking at his food with the fork. “Really.”

It was more of a statement then a question.

“Yeah. She made a good impression on them at dinner last week.” Edward smirked and shoved a

forkful of food in his mouth, not even dropping the smirk to chew.

I kicked him under the table.

“You went over there without telling me?”

“I didn’t think I needed to. It’s safe there, don’t worry. No firearms while we ate or anything like

that.”

Charlie sighed and shook his head for like, the 80th time since dinner started.

“So, Edward. Since you didn’t follow the last set of ground rules I set up for you, I’m gonna lay out

a whole new set. Are you ready? You might want to take notes.”

Charlie squinted as Edward dropped his fork and tapped his temple with his pointer finger. “I have a

good memory. Go ahead.”

“Alright. For one, you’re not to come into this house unless it’s a pre-approved, supervised visit.

Got it?” Edward nodded. I tried really hard not to laugh because maybe we’d listen to that rule.

“The trouble rule still stands. You get my daughter into any kind of shenanigans, or you get into any

kind of serious trouble yourself, and you’ll no longer be seeing her.”

Edward and I both laughed at that one.

“What’s funny?” Charlie asked.

“Shenanigans? Really, Dad?” Charlie gave me the death glare. “Sorry. Tell Edward rule number

three.”

Edward stepped on my toe and turned his attention back to Charlie.

“Three is… well, three would be don’t touch my daughter, but since I doubt you or Bella will

follow that, the rule is: Use. Your. Brains. I swear to you, Edward Cullen, that if my daughter is to

get pregnant, you’ll be buried in an unmarked grave in the woods behind my house. Do you

understand?”

“Dad!” I screamed. I was mortified. Edward just sat there, flabbergasted.

“That’s all,” Charlie continued, ignoring me. “I’ll think up more rules as time goes on, I’m sure. Oh,

wear your seatbelt when you’re in the car with him. He speeds.”

I slapped my hand to my forehead and sighed.

“Alright Dad, that’s enough insulting him, and embarrassing me for that matter. Be nice.”

“I think I’m being nice.”

“You’re not,” I told him, taking a gulp of my water. I wished it was Grey Goose at that moment.

Charlie shrugged and took another bite of his food. When he swallowed he cleared his throat and

looked at Edward.

“So, what are your plans for college?”

The tone of his voice was completely changed. I stared at Edward, curious, because we’d never

talked about it before.

“I don’t really know yet. I don’t know what I want to do.”

“You don’t want to be a doctor like your father?” Charlie asked him.

“No, not really. Don’t tell him that, though. He thinks it’s a possibility.”

Charlie chuckled and shook his head. He was warming up a little bit. A very, very little bit.

“Maybe I’ll be a cop,” Edward said, pressing his lips together so he wouldn’t laugh.

Charlie rolled his eyes.

“Seriously, Edward. Do you do well in school?”

“Yeah,” Edward said, shrugging. “I’m in all AP classes… with Bella.”

Charlie nodded.

“What do you do outside of school? I don’t mean underage drinking or your backseat activities.”

Edward smirked and scratched his head. “Uhh… I play baseball. I play piano and I give lessons. I-”

“You give piano lessons?” Charlie interrupted. Edward nodded. “Interesting.”

Edward put his fork down and took a deep breath.

“Listen, Chief Swan. I know I’ve been an annoying, cocky, uh… asshole- excuse my language- to

you like… forever. But I’m not gonna mess things up with Bella. I care about her a lot and… just

try and be understanding, here. Please.”

I smiled and put my hand on Edward’s knee under the table, squeezing it gently.

Charlie nodded and stuck out his hand. “Fine.”

Edward shook his hand and smiled. “Thanks.”

“Alright, I’m done, Bella. Dinner was good.”

Charlie put his plate on the counter and walked into the living room, leaving me and Edward alone.

“You care about me a lot?” I asked teasingly. He gave me the finger and stood up from the table.

“Dinner was bangin. Thanks, Bel.” He slapped my ass and started toward the door. “See you later.”

I didn’t run after him because I knew where he was going. I cleaned up the kitchen hurriedly and

ran upstairs, slamming my door shut behind me.

“So,” Edward said, looking up from my laptop. “I think your Dad’s straddling the line between

wanting me dead and just plain hating me. What do you think?”

I kneeled down between his legs and smiled. “I think he just dislikes you. Right now. It’ll get

better… I hope.”

“Me too,” Edward said, putting his head in his hands and sighing.

I stood up and pulled him toward my bed before dropping down on his lap.

“Edward?”

“Hmm?”

He was tracing the lines on my jeans up and down my thigh.

“Can you sleep over again?”

Edward sighed again and shook his head.

“I haven’t slept in my own bed since Thursday.”

“I know. But I don’t want you to leave me.”

Edward grinned and ran his thumb up the side of my cheek.

“Okay. I’m not going anywhere.”

18.Love

EPOV

Jasper’s lanky ass took way too long getting to the car. I didn’t even wait for him to close the door

before my foot pushed down on the pedal.

“Whoa,” he said, lighting up a cigarette. “Bad mood?”

“No, we’re late because you took too long trying to find a fucking outfit to wear. How hard is it,

anyway? Hmm, should I wear the black t-shirt that’s too tight, or the green t-shirt that’s too tight?”

“My shirts aren’t tight, hater. What’s the rush, anyway?”

“I have to pick Bella up,” I said, taking the turn way too fast. Jasper almost dropped his cigarette as

he slammed against the door.

“Um, speaking of Bella Vita, I heard a little rumor.”

I snapped my head toward him and squinted. “What now?”

“Word on the street is that the two of you made it official.”

“Tell Alice to shut the fuck up and stop gossiping.”

“Is it true?”

I shrugged and nodded.

“Cute, Cullen. I have to say, you don't seem blissful.”

“Yeah, well I didn’t really sleep last night and your douchiness is fucking up my AM.”

Jasper pulled a flask out of his coat pocket and twisted off the top.

“Lucky for you, I have just the thing to fix that.”

He waved the flask under my nose and I took a deep breath. Ahhh. Nothing like the smell of

whiskey in the morning.

I pulled into Bella’s driveway and she was already waiting, her arms crossed over her chest and

shivering.

“What do I do? Do I carry her bag or something?”

Jasper looked at me blankly. “How the hell should I know?”

I let my head loll back and I clenched my eyes shut. Less than 48 hours of being Bella’s boyfriend,

and I was already not knowing what the hell I was supposed to do.

“Hey,” she said, sliding into the backseat. “Drinking already, I smell.”

“Yep, here ya go,” Jasper said, handing her the flask. She took a swig and gave it back to him. “I’d

like to say a quick congratulations and good luck to the both of you on this glorious first day of

school while being a couple. It’s sure to be eventful.”

“Shut the fuck up,” I murmured, trying to get there as soon as possible so I could finish off that

flask.

We pulled into the parking lot and I shut my car off before ripping it from Jasper’s hands and

chugging the thing until it was dry.

“Alright,” I said, opening my door. “I’m good.”

I slid my Ray-Bans on and waiting for Bella, throwing my arm over her shoulder as we walked into

the building. Me walking around with a girl under my arm wasn’t something out of the ordinary, so

no one really thought anything of it.

I leaned against the locker next to Jasper’s, my arm still around Bella, as he changed his books or

some shit. I really don’t know what the hell he was doing because I was too mesmerized by Bella’s

lips sucking on one of those damn blow pops.

Suddenly, Junior Tramp walked by and stopped in front of me.

“Go. Away,” Bella grumbled, rolling her eyes.

“Hey Edward,” she said, touching my chest with her finger. The girl had balls.

Bella turned around and pushed her to the side with her shoulder, pressing her body up against me

and wrapping her arms around my neck.

“Touch my boyfriend again, and I’ll break every single one of your fingers,” she spat before taking
the blow pop out of her mouth and planting a kiss on my lips. It tasted like watermelon. Jasper was

cracking up, shaking his head as JT walked away.

“I told you. It’s not even first period and it’s already started.”

“Yeah, well, maybe she’ll get the hint and pass the memo around,” Bella said, leading the way into

Spanish.

I spotted that low budget hooker Stanley and cringed.

“Let’s move our seats,” Bella whispered as we walked down the aisle.

“Uh… why? We already sit with each other.”

“No, you sit in front of Jessica. And I watch her stare at the back of your head every day and she

looks at your birthmarks and they’re my birthmarks and now I have the right to stab her in the

cornea with my pen if I want to so-”

“Wait, what? Birthmarks? What the hell are you talking about?”

It was way too early in the morning for her babbling. I dropped my books on my desks and looked

at Stanley.

“Sit in a different seat,” I said, pointing at Bella’s usual desk. Jessica sneered at me and shook her

head.

“This is my desk. You sit somewhere else.”

I was ready to tell her to go choke on a dick when, luckily, Jasper stood up and amended the

situation.

“You just sit in my seat, Romeo,” he said to me, dropping down into my old desk. That seemed to

work. Bella sat down happy and started playing with a piece of hair in the back of my head.

The lecture finished early, so we sat there waiting for the bell to ring. Jasper tapped his pen on the

desk and smirked at me.

“Well, you made it through first period as a couple with only a slight catastrophe.”

“Fantastic,” I said sarcastically. Bella giggled and played with my collar near the back of my neck.

“Edward has a girlfriend? Wow, I’m sure that’ll last,” Jessica said, joining our conversation,

uninvited.

I turned around to look at Bella as her head snapped toward Jessica, her eyes narrowed.

“Did anyone ask for your opinion?” She said. “No. Shut your fucking mouth or this time, when I’m

done with you, you’ll be taking a trip to the ER. Got it?”

Jessica was silent. She rolled her eyes and stood up and walked out of class, embarrassed.

“Okay, slight edit, two catastrophes,” Jasper said, chucking.

“I think you need to calm it down a little, you loony bitch. You’re kind of scaring me,” I said to

Bella, laughing.

“Seriously, you’re like a pitbull. A nice ‘shut up’ always works,” Jasper added, shaking his head.

“Yeah, okay. I’d like to see what you’d do if Newton started saying shit to me in front of you.”

“Ball tap,” Jasper said.

“Or a fist to the throat,” I answered, honestly. Hey, it’d happened before.

“Yeah, exactly.”

The bell rang and Bella stood up from her desk and walked past me into the hallway. She started

walking to her other class without waiting for me, so I said bye to Jasper and jogged up behind her

and slapped her ass as hard as I could.

“Edward! What the hell!”

“You walked away.”

“You called me a loony bitch.”

“Uh, that’s what you are,” I said, grabbing her hand. I held it up to my mouth and bit the tips of her

fingers as she giggled.

I dropped my hand down and we walked silently to class, getting the stare down from… everyone.

Apparently having your arm around a bitch’s shoulder is old news, but holding her hand means

something completely different.

I kind of liked it.

“Are you doing anything later?” I asked her as we approached her empty classroom.

“I dunno.”

“Well, we can have a supervised, jail-like visit at your house, or you can come to mine where my

parents wouldn’t notice we were even there. Your choice.”

“Difficult,” she said, tapping her finger on her chin. “Let’s go to your place.”

“Cool. I need to go hit the bottle before class. I’ll catch you later, bizzle.”

Bella pushed me up against the wall and inappropriately stuck her tongue down my throat before I

could walk away.

“Hmm, I’ve never made out in the middle of the hallway before,” I said, pulling away for a second.

“What do you think?”

“I’m a fan,” I told her, tilting my head down and grabbing the side of her face. She still tasted like

candy.

“Gross,” I heard Newton say as he walked by. I stuck my foot out and tripped him as he walked into

the classroom, making all of his books slam to the floor.

“You’re a dick, Cullen.”

Bella giggled and followed behind him. “Bye, Edward.”

The next two periods went by agonizingly slow. Class without Bella seriously blew. Fourth period,

we decided to skip class altogether and make out in the bathroom. That was as far as it went,

because even though she tried, I couldn’t let her pull anything scandalous in a bathroom stall. It was
dirty and raunchy and it smelt like fucking hobos. That shit was fine for Lauren or Jessica, but Bella

wasn’t just a whore. I figured that was something boyfriends did- cared about their girlfriends

enough to resist getting a BJ next to a grimy ass toilet. Whatever. I was trying and I was sexually

frustrated, so I was pretty proud of myself.

The rest of the day went by pretty much like first period. Random girls would come up to me, Bella

would flash her fangs and insult them, and they’d run away shaking. I was done trying to talk her

into keeping her cool. Instead I just watched and laughed and laughed and laughed, because she

may be a psychopath, but she was my psychopath, and I could give a shit less if any of those girls

ever talked to me again because I had her and that was all I fucking needed. Plus, she was sexy

when she was yelling. Or maybe I just made that up, since I was rocking such a bad case of desert

dick that I would’ve found her taking a dump to be sexy.

“Today was a good day,” Bella said, hopping off my back as we got to her truck. She insisted on a

piggyback ride.

“Really? Cause you spent the better part of it cursing people out and grinding your teeth.”

She started her car and stomped on the gas, making me jump. Shit was so noisy.

“Yeah, I enjoyed it.”

“Me too, actually,” I told her, chuckling. “Go to my house.”

I slammed the door shut and walked to my car, where Jasper was waiting.

“Big plans with wifey tonight?” He asked as we got into the car.

“Yep. I plan on consummating our relationship.”

Jasper’s mouth dropped and he shut the radio off.

“You haven’t slept with her yet?”

“Uhh… negative. You know this.”

He seemed shocked.

“Wait, wait, wait. What the hell do you do then when you spend the night with her? Paint her

toenails?”

“No. I sleep, dickhead.”

Talking about sexual stuff and Bella to Jasper was still a soft spot for me. Especially since he’d

technically had sex with my girlfriend and I didn’t. Well, not really. I guess since we both had kind-

of-sex with my girlfriend, it was awkward.

“What are you waiting for?”

“Her.”

“Why doesn’t she want to? I mean, I walked in on her doing something way freakier then having

sex, if you ask me-”

“Yeah, I didn’t ask you, so just… stop talking about it.” I turned the radio back on and yanked at my

hair, frustrated.

“Do you love her?” Jasper asked me, tapping his knuckles against the window to the beat of the

music.

“What?”

“You said before that you didn’t know if you did or not, so now… do you?”

“I don’t… I don’t know. Like, maybe this sounds gay and I’ve watched too many girly movies with

Alice when I was high but- when you love someone, don’t you just know it like, right away? Like

the clouds part and instantly you’re like ‘Fuck, I love this girl’ or something like that?”

“Uh… no,” Jasper said, shaking his head at me and laughing. “Not at all. Maybe if you weren’t

such a insensitive prick and your mom hugged you more when you were growing up, you’d have

some kind of a fucking idea what love is.”

“Okay, Dr. Phil, please inform me. What the fuck is love exactly?”

“Uh, well, I think it’s having more passionate feelings for someone then you have for anyone else.

It’s like, being friends but way, way stronger. It’s just this bond you have with someone that you

feel comfortable with them, and protective of them, and happy with them, and-”

“Alright, alright, that’s enough, Shakespeare.”

I felt all those things for Bella that he’d said. I’d always felt all those things for her. So did that

mean I loved her the whole time? I didn’t fucking know.

When I pulled up to my house, Bella was waiting on the front steps, holding a piece of paper. She

handed it to me as I walked up to her.

“Your parents are away until Thursday,” she said, standing next to me as I unlocked the door.

“That’s great,” I said, crumpling up the note. “Nice of them to tell me.”

“In all fairness, when was the last time you were home?”

I thought about it.

“This morning when I changed. Whatever. They could’ve called.”

Bella shrugged and took a deep breath.

“I know what’ll make you feel better,” she said, smirking.

“What?”

“A stain on their new bedspread?”

“I think you’re right,” I said, throwing her over my shoulder and running up the stairs. She laughed

and squealed as I dropped her on the bed, out of breath. Before she could start ripping off my

clothes, I grabbed her wrists and kneeled between her legs.

“Wait, I want to talk to you about something,” I said, my damn traitor heart beating out of my chest.

I let go of her wrists and put my hands on her knees.

“Uh-oh. What’d I do now?”

“Nothing,” I said, taking a deep breath. “I… uh… I had a little heart to heart talk with Jasper on the

way to his house.”

“And…”

Bella raised an eyebrow at me and brushed her fingers across my cheek.

“I… okay. Shit,” I said, all nervous and freaking out. I stood up and walked over to the dresser,

fiddling with Carlisle’s cufflinks because I was bugging out and didn’t know what to do with my

hands.

“What the hell’s wrong with you?” She asked, standing up and walking over to me. She put her

hand on my back and waited for me to say something.

“I fucked up… when I told you I didn’t love you. Because I do… and I have for awhile.”

I looked down at my feet and waited for her to laugh at me or make fun of me or something, but

instead she just reached up and hugged me, and buried her face in my chest. I sighed and squeezed

her back, kissing the top of her head. She didn’t say anything, she just stayed like that for awhile,

and I felt so stupid not saying it to her earlier. Because I did love her, and I was only fooling myself

into thinking I didn't.

*

BPOV

“So,” I said, letting go of Edward, my arms dropping to the side. “What should we do now…”

Edward laughed.

“You know what I want to do. But not now. I’d feel like a dick. Like you thought… I was just

saying I loved you so I could sleep with you.”

“I wouldn’t think that.”

“Yeah, well, I’d still feel weird about it.”

I rolled my eyes and pulled his arm toward the bed. He told me he loved me. That was all I wanted.

There was nothing stopping me now. Edward & I were together, and happy, and I’d never been so

sure of anything or anyone in my entire life.

“I told you that I trust you,” I said, lightly brushing my lips against Edward’s before sitting down on

the bed. “Just come here.”

I think Edward was still freaking out over the fact that he’d admitted he loved me. I couldn’t blame

him, though; I’d felt the same way when I’d said it to him the first time.

Edward climbed onto the king size bed and leaned against the headboard, his legs stretched out in

front of him. I crawled over and straddled him, putting my hands on his shoulders.

“Just calm down,” I told him. “We’re in love. That’s a good thing.”

I leaned in and kissed him again, grinding my hips into him gently as he let out a low moan.

All I wanted to do was go crazy on him, but I was holding myself back because I wanted everything

to be right. My body was burning just being that close to him.

I moved my hips again, hard, just to hear the noise, and Edward smirked and bit his lip, wrapping

one of his hands around my waist, his fingers digging into my back.

“Uh, can you be a little gentle? He’s sensitive right now,” Edward joked, pointing at his crotch.

Be gentle. Right.

I shivered as his hand moved slowly to the hem of my shirt, his other hand already grasping the

other side as he pulled it over my head.

He leaned forward and reached behind his neck, peeling the shirt off his back. I put my palm flat on

his chest over his heart and just looked at him though the strands of hair that had fallen into my

face.

Edward put his finger under my chin and leaned forward, pressing his lips into mine. Once he

started, he wasn’t gentle at all. He grabbed the back of my head and forced my face against his over

and over again, and I licked and kissed and breathed in all of him that I could, not wanting to ever

stop.

I felt his familiar hands on my body, and his lips were on my neck, and then my shoulder, and then

under my ear, and then his hands were wrapped around my hips and he was rocking them back and

forth on top of him, groaning and breathing heavy, and all I saw was the top of his head and his

shiny bronze hair as his mouth roamed all over my body and then his lips were on mine again, and I

couldn’t take it.

I grabbed the back of his neck and rolled over onto my back, pulling him on top of me.

I didn’t want to wait anymore. I wanted him, so badly it was hurting me. I directed his hands to the

waistband of my jeans and as he pulled down on them, I wriggled out of my bra, and then I was

there, naked and waiting and all his.

Edward was kneeling on one side of me, and his hands were flat against the bed on either side of

my chest and he was hovering over me, just staring at my body and breathing heavy.

“Um… you can touch me, you know,” I said, smiling.

He glanced at me through his thick eyelashes and smiled back.

“I’ve been waiting so long for this, I‘m scared I‘m gonna hurt you.”

I got up onto my elbows and took a deep breath.

“Edward, I’m lying here naked in your parents bed. Just. Do. Me.”

I was out of patience.

Edward chuckled and jumped forward, pressing me against the bed and kissing me. His hipbones

dug into my stomach, and his fucking jeans were uncomfortable against my skin so I skipped the

whole button/fly ordeal and I just hooked my fingers around the waistband and pulled, making them

slide over his butt and halfway down his legs. And then I did the same thing with his boxers as he

sucked on my neck and he kicked them off his legs and onto the floor.

Once Edward was undressed, I sat up just so I could look at him and take him all in. I moved my

hand from his collarbone, down his hard chest, over his abs. I ran my fingers up and down his

happy trail. I kissed his collarbone, and then I stuck out my tongue and he tasted so good and salty

and Edward, and I moved up to his neck, and he kept groaning and sighing and driving me crazy.

I moved my hands back down him stomach, because I needed to feel him, so I wrapped my hands

around his shaft and I felt his body instantly tense up. I started moving my hands up and down and I

leaned back as Edward pumped into my hand, moaning my name.

He started licking up and down my neck again, and then his mouth was around my nipple, and

every couple seconds when I’d move my hands he’d groan against my skin and the vibration was

just egging me on even more.

I felt his hands slide up my leg, rubbing and squeezing and pulling, and then without warning I felt

his fingers shoot into me, and my back arched and I gasped, and he chuckled against my skin.

“Bella,” he whispered. “This is embarrassing, but I’m gonna go-”

“No!” I shouted, pulling my hands away from him.

“Don’t stop!”

“But… I want you to have sex with me,” I said, pouting. He laughed and stuck his fingers farther in

me, making my mouth drop open.

“I’ll still be able to.”

“Fine,” I said, my hands wrapping around him again. “Pick where you want your stain to be.”

“Hmm,” Edward said, half contemplating and half groaning. “Do you think Carlisle’s pillow would

be too inappropriate?”

“Ew,” I said.

“I’m just joking.” He pressed his lips against mine, and then I felt his heavy breaths shooting out of

his nose and his hips were pumping faster into my hands, and he pushed my hands away and came

onto the bed, and I couldn’t help but laugh because Esme would notice that, for sho.

“Let’s… go over there,” Edward said, completely out of breath, as he pointed to the other side of

the bed. He was sweaty and flushed and there was a piece of hair hanging over his forehead and I

pushed it out of his face and he grabbed my waist and moved me to the other side of the bed

effortlessly.

And then he hovered on top of me, catching his breath and planting kisses all over my chest.

“Edward… please. I need you.” I was about ready to just jump on his dick and physically assault

him. “What the hell is the matter with you?”

“Uh, nothing, except that I’ve been trying with every fucking bit of strength I have not to plow your

brains out this entire time. If you want to do things that way, just say the word-”

“I’m sorry. I just… I want you.”

“Okay,” he said, looking down at the space between us. I felt the tip of him right near me and then-

he stopped.

Fuck. My. Life.

“What?” I asked, aggravated.

“Uh… the condoms are in my room.”

I waved my hand in the air. “It’s fine, just… do it.”

“Remember what Charlie said about me getting you pregnant? I’ll be buried right outside your

house, and I’ll haunt you and our baby-”

I slapped my hand against my forehead and clenched my teeth together.

“I’m on the pill.”

“Really?”

“Yes.”

“Oh. I’ve never seen you take it.”

“OH MY GOD,” I shouted. “Are we really having this conversation right now?” Edward started

chuckling and it made me laugh and then he started kissing me again, deeper and deeper, and then

he pulled away and I felt his mouth near my ear.

“Bella?”

“Yeah…”

“I really do love you.”

He lined himself up with me again and I squeezed my knees together, clenching his body between

them.

“Bel, you have to open your legs. I can‘t move.”

“Oh, yeah.”

And then with one quick push he was inside me. He started thrusting slowly, almost painfully slow,

which was good because my body was basically in shock from how amazing he felt.

Edward kept his head buried between my neck and my shoulder, and he started pumping faster, and

then he lifted his head and looked down at me. His eyes were so green, and his lips were all pink

and puffy, and his cheeks were flushed, and he was so perfect. I was full of such strong emotions I

felt like my chest was going to pop.

When he was still looking at me, I bit my bottom lip and lifted up my hips, making him go deeper

into me. He moaned my name at the sensation, and I closed my eyes and let my head roll to the

side, because if I didn’t keep biting my lip and I kept looking at Edward’s sex face, I was going to

scream.

I wrapped my one arm around Edward’s back and dug my nails into his skin with every thrust to let

him know how good it felt. He grabbed my other hand and intertwined his fingers with mine and

pressed it up against the mattress to support himself.

I moved my hand up his back and pulled his head down so I could talk into his ear. I needed to tell

him how amazing he was. How good he was making me feel.

“Edward,” I moaned, biting his earlobe. “It feels so good. You’re sooo good-”

“Mmmm, so are you,” he said, grabbing the headboard with his free hand and thrusting forward,

hard, making me pant. I wrapped my legs around his back, pulling him closer to me.

“Bella,” He moaned into my open mouth. I slid my tongue along his bottom lip in response, and

then I bit down on it gently.

“Go faster,” I told him, my back arching as he followed my directions.

The headboard was banging against the wall, and Edward was still gripping it with one hand, and

his other hand had moved to the small of my back and was pushing my body harder against his with

each stroke. I felt a wave roll down my body and all of a sudden my muscles were pulsing and my

head lolled back and I heard Edward curse and moan my name and then I felt him throbbing, warm

inside me, and I dropped down onto the bed, Edward hovered over me, breathless and panting.

I rolled him over so that he was on his back and I rested my head on his damp chest. He moved his

fingers up and down my spine, the sweat making his fingers slide. I laid there, listening to him

breathe for a couple minutes, until it seemed we were both more relaxed.

“That was fucking amazing,” I blurted out, because there was no other way for me to describe it.

“You’re amazing at everything, Edward.”

“Thanks,” he said, chuckling. “You’re not so bad either.”

“Am I better then Jessica?”

He rolled his eyes.

“What about Lauren?”

“Yes, you’re better.”

“That skanky junior?”

“You’re better than Junior Tramp.”

“What about-”

“You’re better than everyone. No lie.”

“Okay,” I said, drumming my fingers on his chest. “So… what should we do now?”

Edward sat up and threw his legs over the side of the bed. He yanked at his crazy, sweaty hair, and

turned his head around, smirking at me.

“Uh… do you want to go fuck on Carlisle’s desk?”

*

“Bella, wake up. I have to bring you home.” Edward was sitting on the floor, shaking me awake. I

looked around groggily and groaned.

“Edward, I can’t stand up. I’m tired and my vagina hurts.”

He laughed at me and helped me to sit up.

“We had sex two times. Stop exaggerating.”

I yawned and stuck my foot in the air as Edward slipped my shoe on.

“Alright,” he said, standing up. “Let’s go. You have a performance to get to.”

I stuck my arm out and he pulled it, helping me to stand. I shrugged into my coat and dragged my

feet across his bedroom, and down the stairs, out to my car. It was freezing outside. I got into the

driver’s seat and held my hands up to the air vents.

“Why’s my car on?” I asked as I put my seatbelt on.

“I warmed it up while you were sleeping so you wouldn’t be cold.”

Oh my God. How precious.

I grabbed his face and yanked it toward me, kissing him hard on the lips.

“Do you think it’s weird that we haven’t slept alone since Thursday? I mean, tomorrow’s Tuesday.”

“No.” He rolled his eyes and slammed the door before making his way to his car. I pulled out of the

driveway, still yawning. It wasn’t even 9:30 yet, but it’d been an arduous day for the both of us.

When we got to my house, I jumped out of my truck and ran down the driveway to Edward’s open

window.

“I’ll be quick,” I said, before running into the house. I dropped my book bag at the front door and

strategically left my snow boots on. The sound of the TV was coming from the living room, so I

walked in and gave Charlie a hug.

“How was work?” I asked him.

“Fine. How was school?”

“Super boring.”

“Where were you? You look happy.”

Thanks, Dad. It's my post-coital face.

“I went to Edward’s house.”

He grumbled something. I stood up and stretched my arms out, giving Charlie the full theatrics.

“I’m really tired, Dad, I’m gonna go up to bed. Goodnight.”

I walked sluggishly up the stairs and slammed my door shut behind me when I got to my bedroom.

I ran to the window and looked down at Edward, who was leaning against the tree.

Without hesitating, I shimmied onto the branch and looked down at him.

“I’m scared!” I half-yelled, half-whispered at him.

“Don’t be. I’m right here.”

Edward walked over and stuck his arms up, and motioned with his fingers for me to jump. I did it

without hesitating. Unsurprisingly, he caught me. I knew he would. I trusted him.

19.Creep

EPOV

“Cullen, keep your hands where I can see them.”

Someone shoot me in the fuckin noggin.

I moved my hand from where it was comfortably positioned under Bella’s ass and waved it in the

air exaggeratedly. Charlie squinted at me and went back to whatever he was doing in the kitchen.

“I want to fuck you,” I told Bella, pinching her boob through her shirt. She slapped at my hand and

rolled her eyes.

“The movie’s almost over, Edward.”

“How about we just shut it off now and pretend like it’s finished,” I suggested. I had just spent the

last two hours getting grilled by Charlie and staring at Bella’s cleavage. Shit was done.

“You’re a pain in the ass,” she said with a smirk, shutting off the TV. I slapped her ass as she got up

from the couch and Charlie’s annoying voice screamed from the other room.

“I heard that!”

This was the first and last supervised visit that was ever going down.

Bella walked me to the door and wrapped her arms around my neck, winking at me seductively. Just

as I was about to lean in for the kill, I heard Charlie clear his throat.

Fuck.

“Edward, go home. Now.”

Bella dropped her arms to her sides with a sigh and frowned.

“Dad, stop it. I’m not 13.”

“Seriously, Chief Swan. Just let me kiss my girl goodnight. You can watch if you want.”

“Get out,” he mumbled, shoving me by my back out the door. I’m not gonna lie, it was pretty rude. I

heard the door slam and I chuckled as I walked to my car because little did that prick know, I’d be

back in his house in a couple of minutes. Probably banging his daughter right in the next room.

After pulling a stealth move and parking le Volvo around the block, I made my way back to my

second lady in line, Miss Ashley. The branches had fucking ice all over them, and as a result, when I

finally got to the window, my car keys had fallen out of my pocket into a pile of snow, I had a

splinter that was like an inch long, and I’m pretty sure there was a welt on my forehead. Whatever.

It was worth it for what was on the other side waiting for me.

I didn’t even have both legs through the window before Bella jumped on my shit. She had my shirt

ripped off before I could even steady myself.

“Calm down,” I told her, as she clawed at my pants, her mouth hot and wet all over my face.

“No,” she said into my mouth. “Take them off.”

“Hold on. My fucking shoes are still on.” I sat on the edge of her bed and smirked at her. “Feel free

to get naked while I untie my kicks.”

When I pulled my foot out from my first shoe, I looked up at Bella, who had already stripped down

to her underwear and was sneering at me. Damn, that was fast.

“You’re taking too long,” she said, and she kneeled down and practically bit the button off my jeans

before she forced them down to my knees.

I grabbed her waist and tossed her to the head of the bed before I climbed on top of her and pulled

her underwear off in one swipe.

And then, because she was practically begging, I pushed forward into her and fucked her right there

with one sneaker, my pants half on, and her dad, who was most likely carrying a loaded gun, 20 feet

away.

Just as I was starting to put on a pretty decent show, her annoying ass phone started vibrating on her

nightstand.

“Who… the fuck… is calling,” I said between pumps.

“Who cares, just… Ohmygod… just ignore it,” she sighed, her nails digging into my shoulder

blades.

The phone stopped ringing.

And then it went off again, except this time I swiped that shit off the nightstand with my hand that

wasn’t holding Bella’s leg up near her head, and it flew across the room, slamming into the wall

with a bang.

“Edward!” She whispered, slapping the back of my head.

“Bella, what was that?” Charlie yelled from the bottom of the stairs.

“Nothing, I dropped my phone!” She screamed back. I laughed into her shoulder, because she

looked pissed.

And then, because my life is like some second rate comedy movie, just as I was about to bust one in

her, that awful fucking piece of plastic started going off again. How it wasn’t broken from that

maneuver I just pulled, I had no idea, but the thing was vibrating against the floor and Charlie was

gonna hear it, so I just said “fuck it” and pulled out of her, grabbing the phone from the floor, and

flinging it at her.

She looked at the caller ID and hit the ignore button and set the thing back on the nightstand.

“Come on, finish,” she said, and I frowned and sat down on the bed because I was heated.

“Who the hell is it? Is it that guy?”

Normally I wouldn’t be one of those whiney, jealous bitches, but we’d only been dating for 4 days

and anyone who was about to get in the way of my lovemaking sessions was looking for a beat

down.

“I told him to stop calling. He doesn’t listen. I need a new number.”

“Yeah, we’ll look into that tomorrow. For now, shut that shit off.”

“Okay,” she said quietly, reaching over and pressing a button on the phone. Then she laid back

down and gestured to me with one finger. “Finish fucking me right now, Cullen.”

So I did.

*

I ran up Bella’s driveway and let myself into the house since the chief wasn’t home yet. Angela’s

car was parked outside, since she’d given Bella a ride home and they were probably braiding each

other’s hair or some shit. I’d picked up Bella in the morning and I had a baseball meeting after

school and she didn’t want to wait for me, so Angela brought her home.

Normally I wouldn’t just walk into someone’s house- okay, maybe that’s a lie- but I had a really

funny story that involved Jessica Stanley, Emmett, cement stairs, and stitches, and I knew Bella

would find it hilarious.

I took the stairs two at a time up to her room and pushed the door open without knocking.

“Hey,” I said, leaning over and putting my hands on my knees to try and catch my breath.

“No window today?” Angela asked, giggling.

“No. Listen… the funniest thing happened-”

“Edward, my Dad’s gonna be home any minute. He might get violent on you if he catches you in

my room,” Bella said, cutting me off.

“I have to go to my piano lesson across the street anyway in a minute- just listen.”

Bella’s sadistic phone started vibrating, distracting me.

“Are you fucking kidding me with that thing?” I asked her. She didn’t even look at it, she just

shrugged.

“Go on with your funny story.”

“Oh, yeah. So I was waiting outside by the stairs with Jasper and Emmett for the fucking meeting to

start, and you know, Jessica thinks she’s sexy so she’s wearing these ridiculous shoes, and she can

barely walk and all of a sudden Emmett picks up a snowball-”

“EDWARD CULLEN! Get out, NOW!” Charlie’s voice bellowed up the stairs, followed by the

distinct cocking of a gun.

“I’ll finish later,” I said to Bella before pointing at Angela. “Pretty sure your friend is in the ER.”

I ran down the stairs, past Charlie, out of the open door, before I jogged across the street to get to

my lesson. I had a particular appreciation for this kid, because if it wasn’t for him, I wouldn’t have
been there dropping off his sheet music on that summer day and I wouldn’t have witnessed Bella’s

scandalous ice pop show. I should’ve added him to my list of thanks when we played Emmett’s

little game that day.

“Hey little man,” I said, giving the kid a high five as he opened the door. “What’s crack a lackin?”

“Nothing,” he said, leading me to the living room where their piano was. This kid wasn’t as good as

Aiden, so his lessons were usually cake.

“You better have practiced this time,” I told him as I sat down on the bench. “You have ladies to

impress at the Winter concert.”

He laughed and started pressing down on random keys.

“Did you pick what you wanted to play yet?”

“My teacher said I could play Greensleeves or O Christmas Tree. Which one should I do?”

“Definitely Greensleeves. No contest.”

“That one’s harder,” he said with a groan.

“It’s not hard. Don’t be a wimp.”

Turns out we had a lot of work to do, so the hour went by pretty fast. Usually about halfway

through I’d get so bored that I’d start fantasizing about Bella wearing leather and handcuffs, but

today I didn’t have time to do that. When I realized it was getting dark, I patted my pockets to check

my cell phone for the time, but I had left it in the car.

“You have a clock in here?” I asked when he finished running through the song for like the 28th

time.

“Yeah,” he pulled a cell phone out of his pocket and flashed the screen at me. Why this eight year

old needed a cell phone, I had no clue, but time was up and I was outta there.

“Alright, buddy. Keep practicing that. You’ll have it down pat soon.”

I left the house and started walking to my car when I noticed a black BMW sitting on the street
between Bella’s house and the house next door. I frowned and got into my car to check my cell

phone.

I had five missed calls from her. That shit was weird. One because, if I didn’t answer she never

called back again. And two, because she knew I was across the street at the lesson for an hour, so I

wouldn’t have been able to answer.

Charlie’s car wasn’t in the driveway again, so I got out and started walking across the street. When I

got halfway up Bella’s driveway, I noticed there was someone sitting in the BMW. That was creepy.

“Edward!”

I heard Bella’s voice frantically calling me from the front porch.

“Do you know who that is?” I asked her, pointing at the BMW.

“It’s him! Just come in here, he’s freaking me out.”

“Where’s your Dad?”

“I don’t know, he went out right after you left and he won’t answer his phone!”

Maybe it was stupid of me, but I turned around and retreated down the driveway. A boyfriend

wasn’t supposed to sit around and hide like a pussy when someone was all busting in on his woman.

“Edward, stop! Just come in here!”

My adrenaline started pumping and I heard the faint sound of Bella’s footsteps shuffling down the

driveway after me.

“Stay over there,” I said to her, pointing at her truck.

I walked up to the beamer and yanked the door open.

“What the fuck do you want?”

“Go away, you little shit. I’m here for Bella.”

The dude was pretty big and scary, but I didn’t give a fuck. I was sure I could get a couple of good

hits in if need be.

“She doesn’t want to see you, so get the fuck out of here.”

And then I kicked the side of his fancy ass car, just because I’m a douchebag and can do shit like

that.

Apparently that pissed him off, because he got out of the car and started stepping to me.

“James, just go home, I-”

“I drove all the way here to see you, Bella,” he said, not even loud enough for her to hear from

where she was standing across the yard. There were so many insults that came to mind, I had

trouble just picking one.

Instead of an emotional beat down, I decided my next move would be a physical one. I grabbed the

collar of his jacket and slammed him against the side of his car.

“I said she doesn’t want to fucking see you. Get out of here.”

“Edward, stop!” Bella yelled.

And then the motherfucker pushed me, and tried to swing at me, so I gave him the famous Newton

and clocked him directly in the side of his head. He fucking grabbed me by my neck and I couldn’t

breath so I used all my upper body strength and hit him again, this time in the jaw and I heard a

distinct snapping sound.

“Stop!” I heard Bella yelling again, and I was too busy punching the motherfucker in his stomach to

look up, but her voice was close.

Then, the dude grunted and shoved forward and pushed me up against the car so hard that the

window shattered behind me. It knocked the wind out of me and in that second he landed one right

near my eye and I saw stars for a second. I don’t think anyone had ever punched me directly in the
face before, but it was a life experience I could’ve done without. I felt bad for what I did to Jasper.

Bella screamed, and I saw her jump on the dude’s back and she was clawing at his face and I’m

pretty sure she bit him, and as soon as I was able to see straight again I pulled her off of him and

tried to push him back into his damaged beamer.

Then suddenly, Charlie pulled up and he saw the struggle and he ran out in his gay little cop

uniform and started yelling.

“Edward, stop! Go stand over there!”

I stared viciously at the guy before grabbing Bella’s arm and walking her back toward the house.

We didn’t look back as Charlie started interrogating him and doing whatever your average cop/dad

did when some creepy old stalker was trying to kidnap and fuck their 18 year old daughter.

I waited in the kitchen for Charlie to come in and arrest me and to most likely spend the night in jail

since my fucking parents were out of town. Bella just watched me pacing back and forth, as she

held a bag of frozen vegetables in her hand for what I think was my face. Or my hand. Whatever.

“Edward?” she said quietly.

“Huh?”

“You’re my hero.”

She giggled a little bit and I don’t know why she thought this shit was funny because that guy

looked like some typical creep that you see on America’s Most Wanted that runs away to Paraguay

for killing teenage girls or something. That probably would’ve been Bella if he’d gone into her

house.

“You didn’t answer your phone,” she said meekly, when she realized I wasn’t laughing.

“I was across the street. You know I can’t answer.”

“Yeah, but, I figured if I called like ten times you’d know it was an emergency and-”

“I left it in my car. But from now on, if there’s an emergency like… text me and say 911 or

something. And by emergency, I don’t mean you needing help on your math homework or you not

being able to figure out how to work your iPod, or any of the other stupid shit you call me for. This

isn’t a joke, Bella. That guy was fucking weird.”

Suddenly Charlie came barging in through the front door and he stomped into the kitchen, breathing

all heavy and scary.

“Where is he?” Bella asked.

“He’s gone. He won’t be back here.”

“What? You’re not even gonna arrest him, or-”

“Should I arrest you?” Charlie asked, cutting me off.

“Uh… no,” I said, looking down at the floor. Bella walked over and put the bag in my hand and I

held it up to my face.

“Why wouldn’t you tell me something like this?” Charlie asked Bella.

“Because, I didn’t think he’d be that psycho to come here! I don’t even know how he figured out

where I lived. Is your address unlisted? Because if not, maybe you should hop on that. There

probably isn’t that many Swan’s-”

“Bella. Shut up. Go upstairs, please. I need to talk to Edward.”

“No, Dad, don’t yell at him, he was just protecting me-”

“Bella! Upstairs.”

Bella retreated from the room and I heard the sound of her walking up the stairs and her door

slamming.

I looked over at Chief Swan and cringed.

“Don’t yell at me. I’m sorry, I was just-”

“Thanks, Edward.”

Say what?

Charlie walked over and gave me a quick, half-hug, pat on the back kind of thing but it was more

than I ever expected coming from him. He hated me.

“Thanks… for protecting my daughter. I don’t want to know what would’ve happened if you

weren’t around. Bella just doesn’t think things through sometimes, and I guess… I’m glad she has

you to keep an eye on her.”

“Okay…” I said, because I was slightly stunned by this whole Charlie not kicking my ass ordeal.

“No fighting in front of my house ever again.”

“Got it,” I said with a nod.

“And go home and have your father take a look at your face.”

“It’s fine… my parents are away anyway.”

Charlie nodded and pulled a chair out from the table.

“Well, sit. We’ll order takeout or something. Bella!” He shouted her name up the stairs.

Within a minute she barged into the kitchen and sat down next to me. She looked from Charlie to

me inquisitively and then shrugged.

“Let me see it,” she said, pulling the frozen bag away from my face. “You’re gonna have a bruise,”

she murmured. And then she kissed my cheek and Charlie growled and I reached under the table

and squeezed her leg.

“Cullen. Hands where I can see them.”

I rolled my eyes and slapped my hands against the table as Bella giggled.

20.Epiphany

EPOV

Sometimes, shit happens that really makes you contemplate the choices you make in your life. For

me, my epiphany came a couple of days before Christmas, when my parents were at some hospital

holiday fundraiser thing in Seattle. I decided to have a Christmas themed little get-together, and

when I say Christmas themed, I mean Alice wore red and green and we downed 5 bottles of

Peppermint Schnapps in 2 hours.

Not a good idea.

I probably should’ve gotten the hint on the Port Angeles night from the 151 and the godforsaken

tattoo incident. But it took extreme measures for me to see I had a slight drinking problem. It took a

shot to my manhood to make me see the light.

“Edward, I have a surprise for youuuu,” Bella slurred, sucking on the end of a candy cane.

“Oh yeah?” I said, stumbling into the cabinets, the drink in my hand splashing all over the floor. I

looked down at the mess and placed my drink on the counter, realizing I was that guy. Not to

mention if I had another drink of Rumple Minze I was gonna be puking up peppermint all over

someone.

“Yeah. Alice helped with it,” she whispered, winking at me.

“Let me see.”

“I’ll show you when we go to bed,” she said, moving close to me and hooking her fingers around

the waistband of my jeans.

“I’m ready for bed now,” I told her, lifting her up with ease and running past the other four sitting in

the living room.

“Goodnightttttt!” Bella shouted, giggling and waving at them.

I dropped her halfway up the stairs, because I’d almost fallen twice and if I did, one of us was sure

to get a concussion. Carlisle wasn’t in town to protect me from getting my ass beat by Charlie. Bella

ran the rest of the way to my room as I slapped her ass and yanked at the back of her shirt.

“Okay,” she said, out of breath when we got into my room. “Sit down.”

She pushed my shoulders so that I was sitting on the edge of the bed, and she grabbed a pillow,

shoving it into my face.

“Don’t peek,” she said, chuckling.

“Do we need the pillow? I can just close my eyes.”

“No! You’ll cheat.”

A couple minutes later, after some loud banging and stumbling around and some audible zippering

and snapping, Bella tapped the top of my head.

“Okay, you can look.”

My jaw hit the floor.

She was decked out in red lacy, ruffled, chiffon and silk lingerie, complete with garter belt and

stockings and everything.

I growled and threw her on the bed, balancing above her and just staring. Her hair was fanned out

on the bed and her cheeks were all pink from the Schnapps and before I ripped that shit to threads I

needed some photographic evidence of it.

I pulled my phone out of my pocket and snapped a couple shots before I pounced on her.

“Edwardddd,” she squealed, laughing and scratching at my head as I bit and pulled at the garter

belt. “Don’t break it, it was expensive.”

“Shhh, I’ll buy you a new one,” I said as I dizzily licked and nipped at the skin on the inside of her

thigh. She tilted her head back and groaned as I moved up to her stomach, my stubble making a

scraping noise against her skin.

I pushed back a wave of nausea as I pulled on the strap of her bra anxiously, cursing myself for the

first time that night for drinking so much. If I had known this shit was coming I would’ve stayed

completely sober so I could’ve enjoyed it to the fullest.

After some clawing and tearing I finally got all thenonsense off- good selection on Alice’s part- and

I got her completely naked.

That’s when shit started going downhill.

“Um… Edward,” Bella said, staring at me like I was a fucking imbecile. “What’s the matter?”

“Nothing, be quiet,” I said into her open mouth as she dragged her tongue around my lips.

“Well… can we just do it then? Please?”

She was getting impatient and that shit was just making me more nervous and embarrassed.

“I’m… trying.”

Bella slapped her hand to her forehead and laughed at me. She fucking laughed.

“How much did you drink?”

“A lot, okay? This… never happened before.”

In all my years of drinking and fucking I’d never once not been able to get it up. And then, when

my girlfriend is laying there naked after wearing some porno shit for me and she’s all eager, I

couldn’t fucking do it. I wanted to, but… I couldn’t.

AA got a new member right then.

“Edward, it’s okay-”

“No, it’s not. Shut up.” I rolled off her, fucking heated, and threw my boxers back on. I sat on the

edge of my bed, feeling like such a dipshit and trying to think of something to do. Bella threw my

shirt and her freak a leek lace underwear on and just stood there and stared at me, a smirk on her

face.

“I’m glad you think this is funny,” I murmured.

“It’s kind of funny.”

“No, it’s humiliating.”

“Who really cares? You’re wasted, you couldn’t even carry me up the stairs. We’ll do it later or…

tomorrow or something.”

“No. Fuck that.”

I stormed toward the door and Bella scurried behind me as I made my way to Esme & Carlisle’s

room.

“Stay in the room. I don’t want Emmett or Jasper to see you in that shit.”

She didn’t listen, she just followed behind me, quietly closing the door when we got to the other

room.

“What are you doing?” She asked as I started going through Carlisle’s dresser.

“Looking for Viagra.”

“Oh my GOD. You’re insane.” She grabbed my arms and spun me around before kissing me softly.

“Stop it, Edward. If you don’t want stuff like this to happen, just don’t drink so much.”

Lesson learned.

That day, I decided on a six drink max for when I drank. It was a start. Bella called it the Christmas

Miracle.

For Christmas day, Esme had this amazing idea that Charlie and Bella should come over for dinner.

I told her I’d rather pop my eyeballs out with a rusty spoon than have to sit with Charlie for hours,

but she insisted.

It actually ended up not being that bad. Carlisle and Charlie talked and talked about boring garbage

Bella & me didn’t give a shit about, and the two of us sent each other perverted text messages to

keep each other entertained. Bella’s dirty talking was getting impressive. After dinner and dessert,

we all went into the den to exchange gifts.

“Here,” Bella said, handing me a card. Girlfriend was broke, so I didn’t expect her to get me

anything anyway. I was hoping maybe there was an erotic picture inside or something.

I handed her the small box Esme had wrapped for me as our three parents watched before I dropped

onto the couch. Charlie grilled me like I was giving her anal beads or something.

Bella kneeled in front of me and ripped the wrapping paper open, her eyes widening when she saw

the little velvet box underneath it. She popped the top open and her mouth fell open with a gasp.

“Oh my god. Edward… these are…”

“Do you like them?”

Obviously, she did. Bella kept begging Rosalie for her diamond earrings, since Rosalie could care

less about them and would’ve given them to her, except that her parents gave them to her for her

sweet 16 so she had to wear them every couple of months to make them happy. So I got her ones

that were pretty much the same, just a little bigger. To show Rosalie who’s boss.

“They’re amazing! Thank you, thank you!” She jumped into my arms and hugged me, and I

squeezed her back for a minute until I heard Charlie clear his throat.

“Edward,” he grumbled. I rolled my eyes and let go as Bella sat next to me.

“Oh, I got you something else, too. You’ll see it later.”

“Okay,” she said, pointing at her card. “Open mine.”

Great. No naked picture. I ripped the envelope open and glared over at Bella, who was smirking.

Inside of the card, there was a piece of paper folded in half. I opened it up and frowned as I read it.

It was a flight itinerary.

“How…”

“Read the card, Edward,” she said, shaking her head.

Edward,

For spring break, since you’ve cut down on your drinking, I thought you wouldn’t mind doing

something different instead of going to Cancun. Alice’s parents have a time share in the Caribbean

and they said we could use it for the week. Merry Christmas! I love you

Bella

“Holy shit,” I said, getting a glare from Carlisle. “This is so much better than Cancun.”

“Really?” she said excitedly. “Are you sure?”

“Hell yeah!”

“Edward, language, please,” Carlisle muttered.

“Heck yeah!” I corrected, getting a laugh out of Bella. Charlie had his arms crossed over his chest

and was sulking. Apparently this was a fight he’d lost.

“Chief Swan, don’t be so grumpy. I got you something, too,” I said, chucking a small box into

Charlie’s lap. “Reindeer socks.”

Charlie sneered at me and Esme shook her head.

“I’m kidding. Open it, it’s not socks.”

Charlie hesitated, but opened the gift anyway. He stared at it for a while and finally cracked a smile.

“Edward, thanks. You didn’t have to do this. This is expensive.”

It was some stupid fish finder thing that I knew he’d like and that he would’ve never bought for

himself because he was too cheap.

“It’s not big deal. You let me date Bella. I owe you.”

I winked and gave him a thumbs up, and instead of a sarcastic comment or an insult, he nodded and

kind of smiled at me.

*

BPOV

“This is so boring,” I groaned, scribbling down my name on the fifth application I’d done that day.

“Hey. Try and write a little neater,” Edward murmured, not looking up from his stack of

applications.

“My hand hurts.”

“Fine, don’t do it. Don’t go to college and live with Charlie forever,” he said with a shrug, smirking

at me.

That was incentive enough to keep going.

“Your places are all better than mine,” I said, flipping through the ones I’d already finished.

“Most of them are the same.”

“Yeah, except Dartmouth. And Harvard. And-”

“If you want to go to Dartmouth, I’m sure Carlisle can arrange something.”

I threw my pen at him and crossed my arms over my chest.

“I don’t want to bribe people into letting me into school, Edward. You’re such an arrogant, rich

little- oh, hey Esme,” I said, suddenly changing my tone.

“Hey Bella. Hi sweetie.” She kissed the top of Edward’s head and threw a stack of mail on the table.

“You got an envelope, Edward.”

Edward flipped through the mail and pulled out a thick yellow envelope that was clearly from some

college he’d already applied to. He eagerly ripped it open and pulled the stack of papers out, setting

them on the table in front of him.

“Who’s it from?” I asked as he read through the top sheet, his face full of concentration.

He ignored me.

“Well?” Esme said after a couple minutes of silence.

“I got in,” he said, hesitantly setting the stack to the side and continuing with the applications he

was doing before.

“That’s great! Edward! Congratulations! Your first acceptance letter!” Esme was really excited.

Wow, Edward got into college. Shocker. He only had a 4.0 GPA, was an All American baseball

player, and a piano prodigy.

“Where?” I asked, curious.

“Northwestern,” Esme said, sounding proud. “For music!”

“Oh! Northwestern, that’s… great, Edward.” I tried to hide the disappointment in my voice when I

realized none of the schools I was applying to were in Illinois.

Edward said nothing, he just kept doing what he was doing and not paying attention to me.

“I didn’t know you even wanted to go to school for music,” I said, trying to push something out of

him. He always told me that he didn’t know what he wanted to do, and for most of the schools he

was applying to he just chose liberal arts as his major.

“I don’t even know if I want to,” he said, tapping his pen against the table. He smiled at me and

cocked his head to the side. “What’s the matter?”

“Nothing,” I said. Esme walked into the other room and I sighed. “Illinois is… so far away.”

“There’s so many schools over there you could go to if you wanted to. I probably won’t even go

there. Just… don’t worry about it. We’ll be close to each other, alright?”

“Okay,” I said, forcing a smile back at him.

*

"Alice… do you like him?" I glared across the driveway to Jasper and she frowned."What?! No...

It's not like that with us. He... I... No. Just no."

“Then why do you always stare at him?”

It wasn’t hard to spot. She looked at Jasper the same way I looked at Edward.

“I don’t.”

"Oh. Well, he likes you," I said with a shrug.

I lost my concentration for a minute when I saw Edward turn and look at me. He smiled for a

second and then spun back to Jasper.

Ugh. Pure sex.

Anyway, Alice's car was making a weird noise so the two of them were trying to fix it.

"He doesn't like me."

"Yes he does," I said shaking my head in disbelief. "I know you guys all have this weird, secretive
thing about hooking up with each other, but it's already February. Everyone's gonna graduate soon

and go off to school... Don't you want him to know how you feel?"

"If I knew for a fact he felt the same way then maybe," Alice said, looking down at her feet. "I just

don't want things to get weird between us."

"Um, well I know for a fact. Edward and him talk about it all the time. And then he tells me because

we're in loveee and don't have secrets," I said, rubbing it in her face and giggling.

"When's this newfound love going to start wearing off? Because it's been two months and I'm not

gonna lie, it's kind of nauseating."

"Jeaaaa-lous."

All of a sudden Edward ran up and threw me over his shoulders and spun in a circle.

"Ready to go B-Swan?"

"Yep! Bye Alice." I pointed at Jasper and whispered, "Tell him."

"You need to stop being nosy and mind your buiz," Edward said as we walked to the car, still

carrying me over his shoulder.

"She's my friend. I want them to be happy, like we are."

"We're happy?" He asked, dropping me next to the passenger door of my truck and chuckling.

"Yep. We're elated."

"Huh." He turned the key and cringed as my truck rumbled. Ever since Edward & I started dating,

the thing had gotten little use so Charlie forced us to take it out and warm it up.

"So where to?" Edward asked, stepping on the gas.

"I have to go home. Angela's picking me up in a little while." I turned the knob on my new stereo

that Edward had gotten me for Christmas. Too bad I'd used my car like three times since then.

"Why?"

"Uhh... We're going to the movies, remember?" I'd already told Edward earlier, but I'd come to

realize he used selective hearing when I talked.

"Oh, yeah."

"You can come if you want."

"No can do," he said, furrowing his brow as he stomped repeatedly on the gas. "I don't get why this

thing tops out at 50. It's so annoying."

"Well, will you meet me at my house later? The movie ends at 10, I'll leave the window open."

"Alright.” Then he looked at me and smirked. “Since we probably won't be home for awhile, may I

suggest some vehicular fellatio?"

We got home quicker than anticipated, so I finished Edward off right in my driveway. I think he got

off on Charlie being in the vicinity when we fooled around. Road head was far from my favorite

sexual activity, but if I didn't do it he would've whined and not shut the fuck up the entire ride.

I kissed him goodbye and ran into the house and changed and brushed my teeth in record time.

When I ran back outside, Angela was already waiting. I slid into the backseat with Ben's friend

Tyler, since Ben was in the passenger seat. The ride felt like a double date and was kind of

awkward, but Tyler was harmless. Not to mention no one would ever hit on me in fear of getting a

beat down from Edward.

We got to the movie early, so while we were sitting in our seats, Angela and Ben started making out

and I suggested to Tyler that we go get a slurpee. They'd been dating as long as me & Edward and I

would've been doing the same thing if he was there, if not worse, so who was I to interrupt?

On the way back from the snack stand, I was hysterically laughing at a story Tyler was telling me

about Lauren Mallory and her toothbrush and a toilet when all of a sudden Jasper walked out of the

bathroom.

"Hey!" I said excitedly. He frowned and looked at Tyler, then me, then cleared his throat.

"Uh... Hey."

"Who'd you come here with?" I asked him, trying the brush off the awkwardness.

"Alice. Where's Cullen?" he asked, looking directly at Tyler.

"I don't know," I said, shrugging. "I came with Angela."

"Oh," Jasper said, cocking an eyebrow. He was pissing me off.

"Alright, I'll see you later probably. Tell Alice to call me when you guys leave."

I walked away, Tyler following behind me.

"What was that?" he asked, confused.

"I don't know, Jasper's retarded."

When the movie finished, Angela dropped me off at home. I ran upstairs, expecting to see Edward

in my room waiting for me. He wasn't there. Fucking Jasper. I grabbed my keys and ran back

outside, trying to fix the nonsense he started. Edward was always jealous, and even though I

thought it was cute at first, now it was just starting to get annoying.

When I got to his house, I ran up the back stairs and through his door angrily. Edward was lying

lazily on his bed, frowning. He moved his eyes from the TV for a second to look at me before

moving them back.

"What?" he asked, sighing.

"Why weren't you at my house?"

"You lied to me."

I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms over my chest.

"I did not lie. Tell your friends if they're gonna snitch to get their stories straight."

Edward shut the TV off and sat up. "He wasn't snitching, he was looking out for me. If Alice saw

me with another girl, you'd-"

"Blah, blah," I said, waving my hand at him. "Stop being mad. Kiss me." I pursed my lips and

leaned forward but he pushed me away.

"No. Go home. You pissed me off."

"Stop being jealous, Edward. Don't you trust me?"

He stared at me for a few seconds before his frown finally disappeared. "Yeah."

“So then what’s the problem?”

“Before we were dating I heard him saying shit about you and that he wanted to take you to prom.”

Okay, so the jealously thing was kind of cute. When he wasn’t acting like a complete dickhole. I

messed up his hair a little and tapped my pointer finger on his lips.

“Edward. I don’t want anyone except you.”

I smiled and jumped into his arms, kissing him hard to try and make him feel better. It worked for

the time being, but not for long.

21.Jealousy

BPOV

Maybe it was because I never had a boyfriend before, but I always thought Valentine’s Day was

stupid and pointless. Therefore, a Valentine’s Dance was equally as stupid and pointless. If not

more, since I can’t dance for shit. Edward and I planned to skip it altogether and spend the night

practicing.... something very graphic in his parent’s Jacuzzi tub, but instead, Alice and Rosalie

snaked me into going by buying me a designer dress. Plus, Angela was throwing an after party and

I’d been neglecting my friendship duties when it came to her lately, so I had to go. Shockingly

enough, convincing Edward to go somewhere that involved him drinking turned out to be pretty

easy. Although, in his defense, he had been pretty stringent about his six drink max. He was

exceedingly embarrassed about the whole Christmas ‘incident.’

“Bella, you look slammin’,” Jasper said with a whistle as I stumbled down the stairs of Alice’s

house, cursing under my breath at the stupid ass Jimmy Choo’s she’d squeezed my feet into.

“Don’t look at her, fucker,” Edward muttered, shoving Jasper to the side and lifting up a hand to

help me. Someone was still a little bitter about the event we do not speak of. Edward’s jealousy was

sometimes amusing, but being mean to Jasper was getting a little out of hand.

“Edward, you look so fucking adorable,” I said, running my fingers down his red silk tie. He’d kept

it simple, with just a white button down and gray dress pants, since unfortunately for every other

guy, Edward didn’t need to try hard to look better than everyone. And he was mine. Hah.

“So do you,” he said, poking at my cleavage that was popping out of the dress- all Rosalie- and

pushing me out the door.

We drove to the dance with Jasper and Alice, since Edward decided that he wanted all six of his

drinks to be at once. Don’t ask. On the way, I was pretty sure I noticed Alice squeeze Jasper’s hand

on the center console. That was impressive because the two of them played more games with each

other than Edward and I did any day. I patted myself on the back for making a difference with my

little pep talk with Alice.

Edward took his six drinks in the car and it took about five minutes of us being inside before it hit

him. The gym was decked out in red and white heart shaped balloons (which Edward felt necessary

to pop every time one hit him) and crepe paper and round tables with flower petals scattered around

them.

We stood against the bleachers, watching and pointing and laughing all of our vomit inducing

hormonal classmates grinding on the dance floor. Edward and Jasper were picking at the crepe

paper taped to the wall and throwing it in people’s hair as they walked by.

“I’m fuckin bored,” Edward complained, banging his knuckles against the bleachers repeatedly.

“Me too,” Jasper added.

“Let’s go spike the punch.” Edward pulled a small flask from Jasper’s pocket and chuckled.

“Everyone’s already drunk,” Alice said with an eye roll.

“Seriously. Unless we’re putting ruffies in the bowl it’s not gonna add any extra entertainment.”

I sighed at everyone’s complaining and pushed myself off the bleachers. Across the gym, I spotted

Angela standing by the DJ booth, so I made my way toward her. All their negativity was bringing

me down.

“Bella! Holy shit, your earrings! Are those real?” I reached my hands up and pinched my fingers

around the diamonds Edward had given me. I wore them all the time, but Alice insisted on putting

my hair up today for “maximum gloating” as she put it.

“Yeah, Edward gave them to me,” I told Angela, smiling smugly.

“Lucky bitch. You’re coming later right?”

“Yes! That’s the only reason I came here.” Angela clapped her hands together in excitement as Ben

and Tyler walked over to greet me.

“Sweet dress,” Ben said, giving me a thumbs up. I knew I looked sexy.

“Thanks.”

“Was everything okay yesterday?” Tyler asked, leaning to my ear so Angela and Ben wouldn’t hear.

“I didn’t get you in trouble, did I? Sorry if-”

“Uh, no. It was just a misunderstanding. Everything’s fine.”

Suddenly, I saw an arm stretch out from behind me and pin Tyler up against the concrete gym wall

by his neck.

“Get the fuck away from her,” Edward yelled as me and Ben tried to pull him off Tyler.

“Stop, Edward! What the hell are you doing?” I yanked at the back of his shirt, but he didn’t let go.

“Cullen, man, calm down!” Ben managed to get Edward to release his grasp, and Tyler just stood

there, stunned.

I grabbed Edward’s hand and pulled him into the lobby where there was less people.

“What the fuck is your problem?!” I screamed at him, utterly embarrassed.

“What do you think?”

“I think you’re a psychopath! He didn’t even do anything.”

Edward’s ears were all red, and he was breathing heavy and not looking at me.

“He was looking down your dress-”

“No he wasn’t! He was apologizing to me for what happened yesterday! I thought we talked about

this?”

Edward didn’t say anything, he just shoved by me and went back into the gym.

What. The. Fuck.

Six drink max needed to be taken down a notch. Probably to one drink max, since he was fucking

mental. I heard the clicking of heels and when I looked up, Alice and Jasper were stalking toward

me.

“What happened?” She asked, latching onto Jasper’s hand.

“Nothing. He’s being ridiculous. It’s not a big deal.”

“He’s in there with Emmett acting all belligerent and yelling about you.”

I rolled my eyes at Jasper and shrugged.

“Jasper, all you do is ruin my life. Go away.” He gave me the finger. “Seriously, he needs to stop

being so jealous. If anyone should be like that, it’s me. I’m not the one who fooled around with 90%

of the female population of this school.”

Alice giggled and stuck a piece of my hair behind my ear that had fallen in the shuffle.

“I think you need some spiked punch,” she said, pulling me back into the gym.

So, my reasons for hating Valentine’s Day seemed justified. Edward stayed away from me for the

rest of the dance, only giving pitiful looks in my direction. I didn’t give in, because I was trying to

teach him a lesson. Selective jealousy. Choke slamming people who did nothing wrong at school

functions was completely unruly and ridiculous.

We changed the seating chart up on the way to Angela’s party. Alice and I rode with Emmett and

Rosalie, leaving Beavis and Butthead to drive by themselves. I drank about 12 cups of spiked

punch, and Alice stole Jasper’s flask and we split it because it was the only way my mood was

going to be bearable. It worked. Rosalie and I did a little karaoke show in the car for Emmett and he

was so irritated he threatened to pull over and leave us on the side of the road twice. We were all

giddy when we got to the party- very drunk and wobbly, but giddy.

Edward and Jasper were nowhere to be found. Jasper’s car wasn’t in the driveway, so I brushed it

off and went to enjoy myself. After three games of beer pong with Angela, I decided to take a trip to

the bathroom, since my hair had fallen all over the place and I felt sloppy. I pulled out all the pins

and clips and whatever the hell else Alice had done to my poor head and threw them all in the trash.

Angela’s house was so crowded with people, I could barely walk.

I wanted to find Alice and Rosalie, so I managed to make my way to the closest exit- the back

porch- to call them. I pulled my phone out of my bag and started scrolling through it, when I heard

someone puking about a foot away from me. Disgusting. Across the porch there were stairs leading

to the driveway, so I stumbled over to them as quickly as I could to get away from the puker. About

three steps down, Alice’s Jimmy Choo’s- or my ankles, whatever- gave out and before I knew it, I’d

fallen all the way down the stairs.

“Oh my god! Bella, are you alright?” Newton was standing in the driveway, so he yelled and ran

over to me.

“Shhh,” I said, through my hysterical laughter. Only when you’re drunk is falling funny. But the

unnecessary attention, I didn’t need.

“What the hell did you do?” He helped me up by my elbow and I cringed at his touch. “You’re

bleeding. Really badly.”

“No, no. I’m fine,” I slurred, trying not to look at the blood on his hand. He pulled a napkin out of

his pocket and tried to hand it to me. “I don’t want to touch it.”

“Alright, don’t bend it. Turn around.” He stood behind me and wrapped the napkin around my

elbow and squeezed it tightly. “You might want to go inside and get a band aid.”

“No, I’m okay. Thanks.”

It all happened in a split second, but suddenly I heard a crack and when I looked, poor pathetic

Newton was on the ground holding his hand to his lip.

“What the fuck are you doing?” Edward asked, yanking me roughly by my arm up the driveway.

“Stop! Get off me!” I pulled my arm away and pushed him as hard as I could by his shoulders,

slamming him against the garage door and making a bang. “You can’t do this! You’re fucking

psycho!”

“No, what’s psycho is every time you walk away I find you in a corner with some guy!”

“Are you fucking kidding me?” I lifted my arm and pointed at my elbow. “I fell down the stairs and

he was helping me.”

“How convenient,” Edward muttered, sneering at me. “What about yesterday?”

“Yesterday, I went to the movies with friends. And I asked you to come! Jasper just saw what he

wanted to see. If you weren’t over it, then you should’ve said something.”

“I was over it. And then I see you out here with fucking Newton and now I’m bringing it back up.”

“You can’t be like this, Edward. You can’t just attack every guy that you see talking to me. Tyler,

and then Newton, and you even yelled at Jasper before for telling me I looked nice. What the fuck is

your problem? Why are you so fucking insecure?”

“I’m not insecure. You’re just a slut.”

My mouth dropped.

“I’m a slut?”

“You’re acting like one.”

“I’ll give you five seconds to take back what you just said and apologize to me.” I crossed my arms

and tapped my foot on the ground, seething.

Edward just stood there and said nothing. It was the first big fight we’d ever had, and I wanted to

cry and scream and yell and punch him in the fucking mouth, but I didn’t. I was too disappointed in

him to give that much effort.

“I can’t believe you’re acting like this. It’s Valentine’s Day! Of all the days you pick to start acting

like a dickwad, you have to do it today? And what about trust, Edward? Our whole relationship is

supposed to be based on trusting each other, that was our biggest issue, and I got over it. Why can’t

you?”

He shrugged and stared at me coldly. “I don’t know. Maybe I made a mistake.”

I clenched my jaw shut and nodded.

“Really?”

“Yep. This is why I never had a girlfriend in the first place. I didn’t want to deal with this shit.”

I felt tears coming, and I didn’t want him to see them, so I ended the conversation. I needed to have

the last word.

“I think I’m the one that made the mistake.”

I left him standing there outside and ran back into the house to find my friends.

*

EPOV

I sat lazily on Jasper’s couch, feeling like shit. He was staring at his laptop, trying to find a place to

bring Alice to dinner. Fucking girls.

“So my choices are: La Bella Italia or… Quiznos. Fuck, why do we live here?”

“Go with Quiznos,” I told him, tossing my phone from hand to hand. He squinted at me and shook

his head. “Why are you even bringing her to dinner, anyway? You already fuck her. You’re

supposed to bring a girl to dinner to connive her into fucking you.”

“Because, I’m doing shit right. She’s been giving me signals. I’m thinking about pulling an Edward

and… actually dating her.”

I chuckled and scratched my head.

“But she’s… Alice.” Ughh.

“So?”

“Yeah, and look how my relationship turned out. I haven’t talked to my girlfriend in two weeks. If

she even is my girlfriend anymore…”

“Aren’t you supposed to be leaving for spring break next week?” He clicked the laptop shut and

frowned at me.

“Yup.”

“So just go say sorry already. Stop being such a sullen little bitch.”

“Why should I say sorry?”

“Uh, because it‘s your fault.” Jasper looked at me like I was a fucking imbecile. “You’re all pissed

over nothing. The only reason I told you I saw her was because I felt like I’ve dicked you over

enough and that I was being a bad friend if I didn’t. But bro, she really didn’t do anything. You

overreacted.”

“No.”

Yes I did.

“You called her a slut. You never call your girlfriend a slut. That’s like… one of the most important

rules in the god damn boyfriend handbook. Don‘t cheat on her, especially with her mom or her

sister, and don‘t call her a slut.”

“There’s a boyfriend handbook? I should pick one up.”

Jasper slapped his hand against his forehead.

“Listen to me Cullen, and listen hard. You’re being a faggy little emo motherfucker right now. And

it’s pissing me off. You were wrong. You’re insecure and you’re a jealous, spoiled bitch by nature,

and because you’ve never had a girlfriend, you’re all scared and whiney and you think that any time

she comes in contact with another guy she’s gonna fuck him because that’s your worst nightmare.

But come on. She’s Bella. She’s fucking infatuated with you. And she’s upset, and taking up my

Alice sexin' time. So go do something.”

I snarled at him and didn’t move from my spot. He was right. Fuckin A.

“Oh, and more importantly, if you don’t make up, I’m taking the timeshare next week because that

shit is gonna be sick. So… get the fuck out. I need to get ready for my date.”

I stood up from the couch and hit Jasper in the face with a pillow before I walked out.

*

Esme knocked on my door lightly before she barged in.

“Edward, I washed all of your summer clothes so you can pack.” She dropped a laundry basket on

the floor by my dresser and smiled at me.

“Thanks. I don’t even think I’m going.”

Esme sighed and looked around my room. Her eyes widened when she saw a Polaroid of Bella

taped to my mirror of her wearing one of my button ups, strategically buttoned only once to show

maximum boobage, and only underwear in my bed.

“What… is this?”

“Nothing. Don’t look at it.”

She closed her eyes and shook her head.

“We’ll talk about that later… where’s Bella been? Why aren’t you going? You‘re supposed to leave

in two days.”

“Uh… she’s off somewhere else being mad at me.”

I flipped through the channels on the TV and stared straight at it to avoid her glare.

“What’d you do?”

“Nothing really. Just acted like myself.”

“I see.”

She sat down on the bed next to me and started touching my hair. I slapped her hand away and then

she did it again so I just let her.

“So, I may have overreacted and flipped out a couple of weeks ago on… some people for getting

too close to her. But she’s my girlfriend, so don’t I have the right to do that?”

“Um… yes?”

I squinted at her.

“If you’re not gonna be honest, get out.” I pointed at the door.

“I don’t even need to hear anymore. Jealousy is a wasted emotion, Edward. Just go apologize.”

“I already tried,” I told her. Last time I attempted, Bella slammed the door in my face before I could

even get two sentences out.

“Try again. Oh, look at what came in the mail for you.”

Esme ran over to the laundry basket and grabbed an envelope off the top of it. I ripped it open and

stared in amazement.

“Holy shit,” I said, covering my mouth.

“What happened?”

“I got accepted. For the music program, in Europe.”

I’d applied to a six month music program in Europe without telling Bella, because I knew she’d

freak out. I had to send in audition tapes, and they only accepted a really small amount of people,

and if I went I’d get to travel through Europe and get trained by a bunch of different, really huge

composers. It started in the summer, and I’d be back in December and then I could start college

only a semester late.

“Oh my God, Edward. That’s incredible.” Esme hugged me and kissed the top of my head. “You’re

going to go, right?”

“Yeah. Of course.”

I dropped the envelope on my bed and stood up, taking a deep breath. I needed to go talk to Bella.

*

“Wow. Haven’t seen you in awhile. I was hoping you were gone for good.”

Nice greeting, Charlie, you fucker.

“Nope, not yet. Is she home?”

Charlie noticed I wasn’t my normal, bantering self so he stepped to the side and pointed up the

stairs.

“She’s up there packing. Don’t lock the door, and hurry up.”

I nodded and skipped up the stairs, two at a time. When I got to her door I knocked lightly and

waited.

“Come in!”

Her face dropped when I opened the door. She was kneeling on the floor, trying to shove stuff into

an overstuffed suitcase.

“What are you doing here?”

I stuck my arm out and handed her the stupid rose that Esme told me to bring. Bella’s face softened

and she grabbed it and forced a smile.

“Thank you.”

“Do you need help?”

I sat on the floor next to her and started reorganizing stuff in the bag. Carlisle used to make me

“pack efficiently” when we’d go camping all the time.

“So… where are you going?”

“Alice and Rosalie said that if I wanted, I could go with them to Cancun. I told them I don’t know

yet. I’m packing just in case.”

Ugh. Bella in Cancun with a bunch of horny fucking college guys groping her and trying to rip her

bikini top off and going to wet t-shirt contests at Senor Frogs? No. Fuck no.

“I still want to go. With you… we could still go, right?”

She looked at me and shrugged.

“Sure we could still go. That doesn’t mean I want to. You haven’t talked to me in three weeks. Oh,

except for the one time you came here and told me that this is my fault and to stop being a bitch.”

“I know. I’m an idiot. But I talked to Jasper and my mom and… look. I told you I was going to be a

shitty boyfriend. I don’t know what I’m doing. I get so jealous seeing you with other guys and

really it’s because… I love you and I’m scared. Of what I’ll be like if… if you leave me.”

“Edward, I’m not going to feel sorry for you. If you would’ve believed me and really trusted me,

you wouldn’t have felt that way. I’d never leave you for another guy. Not ever. You’re the only one

I’ve wanted since the day I moved here.”

I smiled and pulled her head into my chest.

“Okay. Look, what if I promise that the next time I get mad, or jealous I say it instead of just…

hitting?”

“Yes. Do that please. And if something is wrong, tell me. I want to know how you feel. I know

you’re Mr. Cool and you think it’s stupid to be lovey dovey but our relationship is important to me.

And I know it is to you too. I want this to work out, and I want us to be happy for a long time. Don’t

you?”

“Yeah,” I told her, honestly. “I am happy though. As long as you’re around.”

She giggled and squeezed my hand.

“So… you still want to go?”

“Yeah,” I said, nodding my head once.

“Okay. Oh, look!” She jumped up from the floor and ran to her desk. “Look what I got! My first

acceptance letter!”

She whipped the envelope across the room so it landed on the floor in front of me.

“UCLA! I got one of these today, too.”

“Oh my god! Can we go? I want to go there, please- I know it’s no Dartmouth or Harvard but it’s a

Public Ivy and-”

“Bella?”

“They have a music school-”

“We’ll talk about it after vacation, okay?”

She was so excited, and I would’ve just told her yes, but I knew I couldn’t start school until January,

and I didn’t want to tell her about Europe yet, since I knew it was going to upset her and she‘d just

forgiven me. All I wanted was for us to have a good vacation, and when we got back to real life, I’d

tell her.

22.Vacation

BPOV

“Are you alright?” I asked Edward, tapping his arm that was rested between us. He was quiet. Too

quiet. I’d heard few witty remarks and sarcastic statements since we’d left that morning and that

was not like Edward. At all.
“I’m fine, Swanster. Why?”

“You’re not talking. Are you scared of flying?” Edward laughed and leaned back against the

headrest.

“Don’t you think if I was scared of flying I would’ve been freaking out four hours ago instead of

when we were about to land?”

“Well then… are you upset you’re not going to Cancun with your friends?”

“No.” Edward shook his head. “I’m 17. I can’t even drink there. What’s the point of going to

Cancun if you can’t drink?”

I shrugged and turned my head to look out the window. The sun was already high in the sky, and the

water underneath us was a bright aqua color. I was beyond excited, but Edward’s weirdness was

kind of killing my buzz.

“I’m sure you could’ve found a way.”

Edward must’ve noticed the tone in my voice, because he pulled his headphones from his ears and

leaned in to kiss me.

“I could’ve. But I wanted to be here, instead.” I closed my eyes as he pecked me gently on the lips.

When I opened them, he was already back in his original position in the seat. “And I lied. I am kind

of scared of flying. But I took a Valium, so I’m good.”

I rolled my eyes and sighed. Suddenly, a bright idea popped into my head and I leaned into his ear.

“How much time until we land?”

I tried to say it as seductively as I could so he could get the hint.

“Umm,” he nudged my face with his forehead and put his mouth right near my ear. “Enough time to

join the mile high club, biotch.”

He got it.

I jumped out of my seat and booked it toward the bathroom. When I got in, I looked around and

cringed. There was no way. I was bumping into the sink and the toilet at the same time just standing

in there on my own. A couple seconds later, I heard a light tapping on the door. I popped the lock

and yanked Edward in by his shirt.

“People were looking at me funny,” he said, chuckling.

“Who cares?”

I ripped my jeans and my underwear off in one shot before hopping on the counter because really,

there was no other way. Somehow I head-butted Edward and hit my tailbone against the faucet. Ow.

Edward unzippered his pants and positioned himself in front of me, wobbling a little and grabbing

the wall when we hit some turbulence.

“Okay, go,” I ordered, sliding my butt further to edge of the counter.

“Uh… you don’t want to kiss or anything?”

I roughly grabbed Edward’s face and shoved my tongue into his mouth without warning. After I few

seconds, I pulled away and pointed down.

“Go.”

He stuck his bottom lip out and shrugged before thrusting his hips forward, right into me. I squealed

into his shoulder and dug my nails into his back.

“It’s so… fucking… small in… here,” I said into his ear between his thrusting.

“I know. And it smells.” He put his one hand on my back and shoved forward, hard, unexpectedly,

and I let out a shriek. Edward put his free hand over my mouth and laughed because there was no

way the people sitting outside didn’t hear it.

“Can we get in trouble for this?”

He shook his head. “Um, do you care if I make this fast? Because I think I just heard the seatbelt

thing go on.”

“Nope. Go for it.” Edward’s rhythm sped up and a couple minutes later, he was trying to help me

back into my pants as the plane shifted. I hit my head on the wall.

We didn’t bother leaving the bathroom at different times. We were both sweaty and red and got the

stare down from everyone as we trekked back to our seats, but I didn’t care. I found it hilarious.

“So what did we learn from this experience?” Edward looked at me, closing one eye as he buckled

his seatbelt.

“The mile high club is overrated,” I said with a nod.

“Correct.”

That was just the start of our vacation.

*

The resort that we were staying at was on a private island off the coast of Aruba. We had to take a

taxi from the airport to the docks, and then a water taxi to the resort. It was by far the most beautiful

place I’d ever been to in my life. The resort was made up of private villas that dotted the white sand,

spread far apart from each other. We had a golf cart to take us around the resort, because everything

was so spread apart and secluded. I was seriously bouncing out of my seat at the excitement of not

being around parents for five days and being able to do dirty things with Edward all I wanted with

no interruptions. It was fucking awesome.

Except for the fact that Edward was being a crabby little bitch. As soon as we walked into the villa,

he dropped our suitcases in the bedroom and flopped down face first onto the huge white bed. I

hopped next to him and kicked off my sandals.

“So. Wanna do it?” I poked his shoulder but he didn’t lift his head.

“Can’t,” he said into the blanket. “I’m too hot.”

“Oh, well then, you should take off your pants.” I hooked my fingers around his belt loops and

pulled but he stuck his arm out and palmed my chest, pushing me away. “What’s the problem,

Cullen?”

“We’re gonna be here five days,” he mumbled, turning his head lazily to look at me. “Let’s… take it

easy for a little while.”

Bullshit. Without saying anything, I stripped all my clothes off except for my bikini bottom and I

tapped him again. His eyes were closed, and he only opened one to look at me.

Finally, I saw him smirk and he growled into my neck as he rolled over on top of me. He pulled his

shirt off and kissed me for a little while before he stopped and stuck out one of his arms, balancing

himself over me.

“What?” I asked him. He was staring at me, and he looked upset.

“Bel, can we talk about something?” The tone of his voice freaked me out a little, so I pushed him

and sat up.

“What? Is it gonna ruin our vacation?”

Edward frowned. “I… uh… I-”

“Did you cheat on me?”

“What?” He shook his head and laughed. “No!”

“Did you do anything with another girl?”

“Uh, negative.”

“Are you dying?”

“I don’t… think so?” He stood up from the bed and gulped. Before he could say anything else, I

ended it. I wanted this vacation to be perfect. I spent $1,000 of my college savings for the damn

plane tickets, and I didn’t want anything ruining our time.

“If it’s not absolutely urgent, don’t tell me. We can talk about whatever it is when we get back.”

Edward shrugged and raised both his eyebrows quickly. “Fine.”

He grabbed his bathing suit and walked to the bathroom, but I couldn’t help but feel some anxiety at

what was going on. He came to my house and apologized to me, he’d been quiet since we left that

morning, and he just interrupted sex with me to talk about something? What the hell was going on?

I pushed it out of my mind as soon as I saw Edward walk out in his bathing suit. The sight of his

body never ceased to amaze me. He bent down to the floor and picked up the top of my bikini.

“I know clothing’s optional at this beach, but my girl’s not going out there without a top.”

He stood behind me and tied the strings as I held my hair up and then he slapped my ass when he

was done, running out of the door toward the water. I walked behind him and watched as he ran into

the ocean and dove gracefully into a wave. When he emerged he shook his hair out and turned back

around to face me, smiling. The sun was so bright, it reflected off the water droplets all over him

and made him look like he sparkled. I could’ve stood there and stared at him forever.

I stuck my toes into the water first to test the temperature, and when I felt how warm it was, I

immediately jumped in and started swimming toward Edward. I wrapped my arms around his back

once I reached him and jumped up, kissing the side of his neck.

“We should go snorkeling tomorrow. Alice’s dad said we could use his boat, he told me where the

keys were. Have you ever gone snorkeling before?”

“Nope,” I said into his ear. “Am I going to get bitten by a barracuda?”

“No. Maybe a shark,” he said, pinching my leg under the water. I squealed as he laughed and

twisted around so that he was facing me. “Hey, Bel?” Edward smirked at me.

“Huh?”

“You’re pale as fuck. You need sunscreen, bad.”

“Shut the hell up, you’re paler!” I pressed the tip of my finger against Edward’s cheek that was

already tinted a little bit pink. Swoon. Edward sunburned was going to be un-be-lievable.

I hooked my ankles together and wrapped myself closer into Edward’s body. He took a few steps

deeper into the ocean, until the water was up to the middle of my back. The water was calm where

we were standing; the waves only broke near the shore. I stared at Edward for a little while, just

listening to the water quietly lapping as it hit our bodies.

“Edward, I love it here. Can we come back here together again? Like when we graduate, or

something?”

Edward was squinting, since the sun was shining directly into his eyes. I kissed a drop of water that

was falling down the middle of his forehead as he gripped the back of my legs tighter.

“We’ve been here for like an hour,” he answered, laughing softly.

“I don’t care. It’s so nice here. And I’m so excited to just be here with you, alone. No sneaking

around or hiding from our parents. We get to sleep in the same bed together and actually sleep in,

not worrying about getting up super early to sneak out. And did you see the Jacuzzi outside? We can

do that thing that we wanted to, with-”

“Uh- I’m not going in a hot tub where Alice’s parents have boned. Jacuzzis are cesspools.” I rolled

my eyes and sighed. Edward noticed I was getting tired of his attitude, so he backtracked. “I’m

excited to be here with you too, though.”

“You don’t seem like it.”

“I am.” Suddenly I felt his hand move from behind my knee, up the inside up my thigh, and in one

quick motion, he had pushed my bathing suit to the side and slipped his fingers inside of me. I

clenched my muscles together at the warmth and he laughed. “What?”

“I thought you were too hot to do it?”

“I’m better now,” he said. He leaned over and started kissing me, filling my mouth with his

normally sweet, delicious, Edward-y taste, with a twinge of saltwater. I loved it. I pulled his bathing
suit down and wasted no time jumping onto him. He moved his hands to my lower back and pushed

my hips into him, hard, with every thrust.

“Bella, you’re wearing me out,” he said, smiling at me. “Three times today already and it’s not even

5:00 yet. And I’m medicated.”

Three times? There was the airplane bathroom, right now, and… oh, yeah. The airport bathroom

earlier that morning. Ick.

“Well, what did you think this trip was going to be like?” I watched as Edward concentrated on me,

his brow furrowed and his mouth hanging open a little bit. The tip of his tongue was resting on his

bottom row of teeth and I couldn’t resist, so I leaned forward and sucked it into my mouth, because

he just looked so fucking sexy. I knew right then that it was going to be a struggle to get me to leave

that island. I was so content right there with Edward, I never wanted to go back to real life. And that

was only the first day.

After our ocean sex- or as Edward liked to call it, our “UTI waiting to happen,” we went back to the

villa and raided the mini bar before engaging in some very necessary shower sex. The poor boy was

ready to collapse.

Edward laid on his stomach on the bed as I straddled him and rubbed aloe on his sunburned

shoulders. I kissed and poked at the little freckles on his back that he hadn’t had before today.

Before he started drifting off, I decided to prod into the whole college subject. I’d been talking to

Alice before we left, and we sort of made impromptu plans that I wanted to talk to Edward about.

“Um, Edward?”

“Hmmm?” He turned his head to the side and I saw his eyes flutter open.

“I know you said you didn’t want to talk about college until after we got back, but I want to tell you

something.”

I climbed off of his back and rolled over so I was lying on my back next to him. He lazily flopped

his arm over my stomach and sighed.

“What?”

“So, I know that you’re going to get into all these Ivy League schools, most likely, and that’s great

for you, but I’m not. I really want to go to UCLA. And Alice got into FIDM, so she wants to get an

apartment together off campus, and I really, really want to do it. What do you think?”

Edward rolled onto his back and stared up at the ceiling. “I think you should do it.”

“Yeah?”

“Yes,” he said, nodding once. He scratched his hair and turned his head toward me. “Anything

else?”

“Um, yeah.” I frowned and sat up. “What are you going to do?”

He yawned and drummed his fingers on his chest for a second, not answering me.

“I don’t know.”

“You don’t know?”

“Yeah, I don’t know yet. I have to talk to my parents and stuff. I mean, I’m still waiting to hear back

from USC, so if you’re definitely going to UCLA then maybe… I’ll go there.”

He was trying to end the conversation and it was pissing me off. The last time that I’d gotten upset

over us separating for school, he reassured me that he wasn’t going to be far away. And now he

wasn’t being as comforting. At all.

“You said that we would stay together. You promised me. What is there to think about? Why are you

being so… weird about this?”

“I don’t know,” he said angrily, sitting up. “What if something better comes along? Wouldn’t you

want me to take the opportunity?”

“Well… yeah.”

“So then?”

“What do you mean… something better?” I couldn’t deny the implication that he meant me.

Edward noticed the gloomy look on my face, and he forced a smile and tossed a piece of my hair

behind my shoulder playfully.

“This is why I didn’t want to talk about this now. We’ll go to California, okay? I’ll go to USC…

everything will be okay. Don’t get upset.”

I nodded and crawled underneath the blankets. It had been a long day, and we were both tired and
sunburned and grouchy. Edward followed after me and put his head on my stomach, grabbing my

hands and placing them in his hair.

“No more talking. Just scratching.”

I laughed and did as he said. Because that’s the way things worked with us.

*

“Get up, lazy!”

My body jumped as Edward slammed the front door of the villa shut and jumped on the bed a few

times to wake me. I groaned and rolled out of the bed, frowning at him.

“Why are you soaking wet? And wearing clothes? And sitting on the blankets we have to sleep in

tonight?!”

“I went for a run on the beach. Gotta keep my stamina up for baseball, you know? And then I was

sweaty so I went for a dip. Come on, I ordered you breakfast! And we’re going out on the boat.”

His mood was suddenly improved. I shrugged and walked over to the kitchen where Edward had

apparently ordered one of everything on the menu. There was fruit, pancakes, eggs, bacon, oatmeal.

Everything. He changed into his bathing suit while I sat there and dug in. I was chewing on a piece

of pineapple when he waltzed back into the room, changed and drying his hair with a towel.

“So,” I asked between bites. “You know how to drive a boat?”

“Do I know how to drive a boat?” He laughed. “Is that a serious question?”

“Yes.”

He grabbed a grape off my plate and popped it into his mouth. “Yes, Swan. Yes, I can drive a boat.”

Edward rolled his eyes at me and threw his towel on the floor. His sunburn had faded a little bit

overnight, but his cheeks and the bridge of his nose were tinted red and for some reason it made his

eyes look greener. His hair had little shimmering pieces of red it in that I wanted to reach over and

touch.

“Hurry up and finish!” He was pretty much pissing his pants with excitement. “You’re gonna like

snorkeling. Especially here, the water is so clear.”

I shoved a forkful of egg in my mouth and stood up. “Okay,” I said, my mouth full. “Let me get

dressed.”

“Attractive,” he muttered, poking my boob as I walked by him. Some things about him were clearly

never going to change.

Maybe this makes me a nympho, or some kind of a pervert or something, but I honestly could give

a shit about snorkeling when I saw how sexy Edward looked driving the boat. I sat in one of the big

leather chairs and wore Alice’s Dad’s Captain hat as Edward brought us out into the ocean. He had
his Ray Bans on, that I really loved but made fun of all the time, and a black bathing suit that hung

low on his hips and made his butt look cute.

When I looked out into the ocean, we were approaching a tiny island. Edward stopped the boat and

smiled at me.

“We have to swim there before we put the stuff on. You ready?”

“Do I have to take my hat off?”

“Uh… yes.” He knocked the hat off my head and strapped a bag to his back. “Go jump in.”

I hopped onto the edge of the boat and looked down. “Umm… Edward. I think I see a piranha in the

water. I don’t want to die.”

Without warning, he pushed me into the water, making me choke and gasp for air. I spun my head

around, looking for him, when suddenly I saw a shadow and heard a tiny splash. Apparently

Edward was a skilled diver as well. I couldn’t wait to find something he was bad at.

“Come on, wuss!” He was already standing on the sand unpacking the bag, and I hadn’t even made

it halfway to the little island yet. I pushed back my fear of getting eaten by a tropical sea creature

and swam under the water the rest of the way. When I walked up to Edward, he handed me a mask

and the snorkel.

“Remember what I said?” He asked. “You have to stay relaxed.”

“Yeah, yeah, relaxed. Put my fins on.” I stuck my foot in his face and wiggled it around.

I didn’t think it was possible, but I loved Edward even more after our little snorkeling adventure. It
was unbelievable, and something that I never would have done if he hadn’t made me- and by make

me, I mean stood on the boat shirtless and threatened to not have sex with me for the rest of the trip

if I didn’t get in. It was so quiet and calm and relaxing in the middle of the ocean with no one

around. When we were all snorkeled out, I sat down at the edge of the water to take off my fins.

Edward sat next to me and laughed as he ran his finger around the mark on my face that the mask

left. I slapped his hand away and moved closer to him so that we were touching.

“Edward, thanks for this. It was so much fun. Have you ever gone snorkeling with another girl

before?”

He rolled his eyes. “No, Bella. Just you. And my mom, if want to count her. Why do you always

have to ask me about other girls? You know it’s just gonna start a fight.”

“Well, you have so much experience, I find it exciting when I’m the first one to do something with

you. And shut up. You can ask me whatever you want, too.”

“Okay. Uh… have you ever walked around your house naked?”

“Yes,” I answered. “When my dad was away that weekend and you made me play naked freeze

tag.”

Edward laughed and slapped his hand against his leg. “Oh, yeah. That was fun.”

I splashed some water in his face and smirked. “Okay, my turn. Have you… ever slept with more

than one girl in a day?”

Edward looked down at the sand and drew something with his finger. “I’m sorry, what?”

“Don’t play coy with me, Cullen.”

“You really want to know the answer to that question?”

“Uh, Nevermind. I think I already do. Your turn.”

Edward continued whatever he was doing in the sand and pointed at it when he was finished. Bella

was written in his perfect damn cursive. “Alright. Have you… ever let a guy who wasn’t me take

scandalous pictures of you?”

“Oh, you mean like the one you let your mom see?”

“Yeah, like that.”

“Idiot. Unfortunately, I have. I’m not proud of it.” I wrapped my arm around Edward’s as I saw his

face get a little tight. He was jealous. This was one of the times it was cute.

“Who, like that douchebag that hit me in the face?”

I rolled my eyes at him and shook my head. “No. Don’t talk about him.”

“What’s the big deal? It pisses me off that you won’t tell me the whole story.”

“Because, I… was stupid then. I didn’t realize how stupid I was until I moved here and met you and

now I’m just embarrassed at what an asshole I was. It’s all my mother’s fault.”

Edward sighed and dipped his hands in the water, cleaning the sand off his fingers. “We have time,

you know,” he said, looking around exaggeratedly. “You can just tell me. I won’t judge you.”

I thought about it for a minute and gave in. I hated keeping anything from Edward. We promised

each other we’d always be honest, and omission to me constituted lying.

“Basically… my mother was never around. I told you this. I was always alone, and I hated it. All I

wanted was for her to pay attention to me, and she never did. I did good in school all the time

without her saying, and she never even acknowledged it. So, I figured I’d take a different route.”

Edward raised his eyebrows and nodded. “So…”

“So, I started doing things just to piss my mom off, because I figured if I could get her angry, that

meant she cared, right? Maybe it was stupid logic, but I felt neglected my whole life and I was

willing to try anything. So I started out small at first. I started staying out late on school nights.

Then later and later, until I stopped coming home sometimes altogether. She would yell and get

mad, give me some half assed punishment, but I would feed on it because it would make me feel

normal. Like we had a normal mother daughter relationship, because we never did.”

Edward started making little circles on my palm as he listened.

“Then after awhile she gave up caring, so I started acting worse. I did stupid shit like take her car

without asking in the middle of the night. I cursed out my boss and got fired from my job. I started

having my friends over all the time and drinking right in front of her. It was always the same thing,

she’d yell, threaten to call my dad, punish me for a day and go out with her boyfriend of the week

and forget about me. Whatever.”

I laughed and wiggled my toes as a wave crashed on the shore and wet us.

“Keep going,” Edward said. He brushed a piece of hair out of my face and kissed my temple.

“So, anyway, then I broke out the big guns and I just started blatantly acting out right in front of her

face. James, I met at a party that I shouldn’t have been at. He was older than me, and all my friends

were morons and thought that he was so cool and rich and blah blah, but really, I mean- is a guy

who’s 24 and willing to fool around with a 17 year old cool? No. Not at all. Anyway I hung out with

him a few times, and he was really clingy and kind of scared me, so I tried to distance myself from

him and it didn’t work. He got me wasted purposely at a party and brought me home and apparently
I was fooling around with him in his car right in my driveway when my mother came home and that

was that. I don't even remember. She gave up on me and sent me here the next day. And he just

never left me alone. He’s crazy. Is that enough detail for you?”

Edward gulped and nodded. It felt good to finally get everything off my chest. Of course, I don’t

think it was the whole James thing that got to Edward. I think it was more the neglectful mom stuff.

“Bella.” He put his finger under my chin and kissed my lips softly. But it wasn’t a good kiss. It kind

of scared me. “Bella, I’m not going to school in California with you.”

23.Vacation II

EPOV

I couldn’t just sit there and let her spill all that shit to me and not feel guilty. She trusted me. She

was always honest with me. The whole college thing was making me feel like shit and messing with

my mood and it was ruining the vacation. Maybe that makes me a selfish motherfucker, but I had to

tell her.

“What… what do you mean?”

Bella ripped her hand out of my grasp and stood up.

“I just… I’m sorry to do this shit now, but… maybe we should go back to the house and talk about

this.”

Without waiting for me, she dove into the water. When I got back to the boat she was sitting there in

one of the Captain’s chairs, her arms crossed over her chest.

“What the hell is going on, Edward? Talk to me now.”

I didn’t say anything to her. I knew she was gonna flip out and probably throw something heavy at

my face, but I’d fucked up enough with her already and I was trying to think of what to do. Or what

to say. Because who’s right in a situation like this? No, I didn’t want to leave her. But she’d always

be there. And the music thing wouldn’t be. I probably wouldn’t get a chance like that for the rest of

my life.

By the time we got back to the little hut thing, she was heated. She walked in after me and slammed

the door so hard I think plaster fell from the ceiling.

“Talk, Edward.”

“Alright.” I sat her down on the bed and stood in front of her. “So, I got accepted to this music

program in Europe,” I saw her face fill with panic and I held up my hands to calm her down. “No,

no… just listen. It’s only for six months.”

“Six months?!”

I nodded.

“Bella… look, I want you to understand something. This is something that I probably won’t ever

get to do again, for the rest of my life. They pick such a small amount of people, and… I want to do

it. I really, really want to. Can you say something?”

She blinked a couple of times and shrugged. “Then go.”

“Why are you mad?”

“I’m not mad… I just don’t want you to go.”

“Bella.” I grabbed her hand and kneeled down in front of her. “Please, don’t make this harder for

me then it is. As soon as I get back-”

“When do you leave?”

“The end of June.”

She raised her eyebrows and sighed. “So you’ll be gone… the whole summer. And first semester.”

I nodded. “But, when I get back-”

“When you get back?” She stood up from the bed and walked around me. “When you get back, who

the hell knows what will happen? Do you know what six months apart will do to a relationship? We

have problems all the time now, and we’re together!”

“If we can’t get through a simple six months of being apart, then is our relationship really going to

last in the long run?”

She stared at me blankly. Alright, maybe that was a stupid thing to say.

“A simple six months? Are you fucking kidding me? There’s nothing simple about this! Don’t talk

to me like I’m an asshole, Edward.”

I groaned and sat down on the bed. “You’re being difficult. I’m trying to do everything I can for

you. I told you, if I get into USC I’ll go there, and then in January we’ll be together again-”

“Edward.” She shook her head and laughed a little. “January? We have issues trusting each other as

it is. What are you gonna do when you’re in a different country? We won’t be able to talk to each

other all the time like we do now. I just don’t see any way that we’ll be able to get through it. I’m

sorry.”

She was crying. Because of me. Again.

I banged my head against the headboard and yanked at my hair to try and relieve the tension this

woman was causing in my brain. “So, what? Are you trying to say you don’t trust me being away

from you for six months?”

“No. I don’t.”

“Fine. So then, break up with me.” She walked over and kneeled across from me on the bed.

“Not now. Let’s just stay together until you leave. I don’t want to break up, I just think… we have

to.”

“We don’t have to! I want to stay with you. I’m willing to try at least. You’re the one who’s doing

this!” I was fucking furious. In my head, I figured she’d be upset, but that we’d stay together and

when I got back everything would be cool. Apparently she didn’t think my plan was gonna work.

“No, you’re doing this. You’re leaving.”

I flew toward her and grabbed her shoulders, because she was so fucking stubborn and she didn’t

understand.

“This is the hardest fucking decision I’ve ever had to make in my life! Don’t you get that? I have to

do what I have to do for myself, Bella. And before I wasn’t sure if I should do this, and if I should

risk everything with you, but you’re not even willing to stick it out with me when shit gets hard! So

fine, you want to stay together until I go, fine. You want to break up with me before I go, and make

me feel like shit, then fine. That’s your choice, not mine.”

She stared up at me with her big brown eyes, all wet and teary and she wiped the tears off of her

cheek with her shoulder.

“If you really loved me, you wouldn’t leave me-”

“No, Bella. Don’t play the guilt card. You know that I love you. This isn’t about that.”

Then she started crying more, and she wrapped her arms around my neck and started sobbing into

my chest and I felt so fucking bad. If I wasn’t such a proud bastard I would’ve been crying right

there with her, because I wanted her to be there with me, all the time. Leaving her was going to be

hard for me, too. And then with her crying and being all depressed and shit, that was just gonna

make leaving worse.

I put my hand on her cheek and turned her head toward mine. And I kissed her slowly, because I

wanted her to know I loved her. She tasted like the ocean, and tears, and I just… wanted her to

fucking be happy, because we were on vacation and she wasn’t supposed to be sad. That shit needed

to be said, because there weren’t secrets between us, and I couldn’t keep it from her anymore. It felt

deceitful.

Just like I thought she would, Bella started to get angry. I felt her growl against my lips and then all

of a sudden I felt her little fists pounding my chest as she cried. It didn’t hurt; I don’t think she

meant it to. I think she was just frustrated.

“Bella! Come on. Grow the fuck up.”

I flipped her over and grabbed her wrists, pinning her down against the bed. That just made things

worse. She was hysterical now, and writhing underneath me, trying to break free. Fat chance.

Finally after a little while of my not doing anything, just kneeling over her and waiting for her to

calm down, she stopped crying a little bit. I felt her arms relax and she looked up at me.

“Just… let me go.”

“No. You’re gonna hit me again.”

“I won’t, just get off me.”

She sniffled a little bit and I felt bad so I slowly loosened my grasp from her wrists. I clenched my

fists and leaned against them, still kneeling over her. Bella reached her hand up and brushed her

thumb over my lips.

And then I don’t know what happened, but she was somehow in my lap and her tongue was in my

mouth and her hands were on my stomach, and then down and fiddling with the snap on my bathing

suit. I grabbed and squeezed and rubbed and kissed her everywhere that I could because now shit

was different. She knew I was leaving. We needed to appreciate each other as much as we could

until then. And yeah, maybe I was an inconsiderate douchebag, and she was a flaky bitch with mom

issues, but together we were just us, and that was what I was gonna miss the most.

I felt her hands slide around to my back. And then they were hooked around my shoulders. And

then in my hair. She tugged on it, hard, and I tilted my head back and then her tongue was on my

neck doing that crazy shit she did and she was biting and licking and grinding herself on me. I

undid her top and then I pulled the strings on both sides of her bikini bottom and tossed it behind

my head and she kept rubbing herself on me and moaning and I couldn’t fucking take it anymore.

“Get up,” she mumbled into my neck. I got up on my knees and she yanked my bathing suit down

forcefully before she shoved my shoulder back down and straddled my lap again. I closed my eyes

and craned my neck forward so I could kiss her, and I cupped my hands around her boobs, and then

moved them down to her waist, and then slowly, painfully fucking slowly she started lowering

herself onto me. When it got to be too much, I shoved my hips forward and met her the rest of the

way. She sighed and moaned a little bit, and bit her lip and said my name through clenched teeth as

she rode me up and down.

And then she started going faster and I really couldn’t take it anymore, so when I felt her body start

to shake I pushed her back so she was flat on the bed and I pushed into her as deep as I could the

last couple of times before I finished. I rolled over so I wouldn’t collapse on top of her and we kind

of just laid there and didn’t say anything to each other. I probably should’ve stopped her and not

fucked her under these pretenses, but sometimes shit just can’t be said with words.

She still didn’t say anything to me, so I kissed her forehead and climbed off the bed and put my wet

bathing suit back on. And then I went to take a walk to clear my head because I was confused as

fuck.

I figured the smartest thing I could do at that point would be to just make the best of the vacation,

and worry about everything else when we got home. So I did. I walked to one of the restaurants on

the beach and made dinner reservations for the gazebo. I picked some pink flower out of a bush for

her that had a sign in front of it that said Do Not Pick the Flowers. When I was walking along the

water I found a starfish and I don’t know rules about animal abuse or anything like that, but I

thought she’d like it so I brought that back to the villa too. I left it outside, though, because it kind

of smelled.

When I walked back inside, she was sitting on the sofa with her feet propped on the coffee table,

her hair all fluffy and curly and crazy from the salt water and her cheeks were beet red from the sun.

She had a tiny bottle of Vodka in one hand and a tiny bottle of Scotch in the other. Both of them

were half empty.

I made my way over to her and sat down on the edge of the coffee table so I was facing her. I put

the flower behind her ear and ran my thumb down the side of her face.

“Stop drinking.” I managed to take the vodka bottle from her, but she chugged the rest of the Scotch

and threw it on the ground. I laughed a little bit and sighed. “I’m sorry to make you upset. What can

I do? I want you to be happy.”

“I’m okay,” she said, looking at her feet. “I like the flower.”

“I stole it for you.”

“How romantic,” she said, rolling her eyes. “Should we talk about this?”

“No. No more,” I told her.

“I just… okay, how about, we’ll see how things go when we’re home. And depending on how

things go, maybe we can try… to stay together the whole time. I can always come and visit you

before school starts, right?”

“Yeah, of course.” I stood up and kissed her forehead. “Go shower. We’re going to dinner in a little

while.”

*

After dinner, we stayed seated in the gazebo, watching the sunset. Bella had moved from her side of

the table onto my lap. Every time the wind blew, her hair would blow in my face, and her scent

mixed with the ocean was the best fucking thing I’d ever smelled in my life. Bella was pointing at

dolphins in the water, and laughing, and at that moment, I realized I was happier then I’d ever been.

What was I doing? Was it really going to be worth it to fuck up everything with her, just for these

six months in Europe? Because no matter what we wanted to happen, things were inevitably going

to get fucked up.

“Hey! Excuse me?” Bella was waving at a waiter that was walking over. “Could you take a picture

of us, please?”

I don’t think the guy spoke English, but he got the hint when Bella handed him the camera. He took

the picture and gave it back to her. Bella pointed at the LCD screen and smiled.

“Look! It came out so cute.”

She’s turned her head at the last second to kiss my cheek and her hair was blowing and you could

see the flower in it and we were both sunburned and the ocean was in the background.

“I like it. I want a copy.”

“I’ll get one for you. You can put it in your room when you’re in Europe so you don’t forget about

me.” She smirked and brushed a piece of hair out of my face.

“You mean so all the ladies know I have a girlfriend.”

“That too,” she said, laughing.

“I’m not gonna forget about you. I’ll think about you every day. Like I do now.” She nodded and

kissed me before moving back to her seat.

We spent the rest of the night getting tanked. Bella tested every flavor margarita, while I chose to

taste every different kind of Tequila. Straight. Bella said it was okay to lift the six drink rule since

we were on vacation, as long as I didn’t break it when we went back home. When it was pitch dark

outside, we started walking back along the pathway lit with tiki torches, since we were far away

from the villa. Once we spotted it, I threw Bella over my shoulder and started running toward the

ocean.

“So,” I said, dropping her down into the wet sand. “Have you ever gone skinny dipping?”

“Not in the ocean,” she said, winking.

“Well, you’re going now.”

“No, Edward! It’s so dark and scary. What if a shark, or a whale, or like a giant turtle attacks me?

Or what if someone sees us?”

I spun around and frowned at her. There was no one around. Absolutely no one.

“No one’s gonna see you.” I slid my shirt over my head and started undoing my belt. “Stop being

such a pansy. You’re scared to do everything. Grow a pair.”

Bella rolled her eyes and slipped her dress over her head. No underwear. Sa-weet.

She ran into the water and disappeared underneath a wave. I followed behind her and dunked my

head, but when I came up I still couldn’t see her. All of a sudden I heard gentle splashing behind

me, and I felt Bella’s lips press against my spine, right between my shoulder blades. I reached

behind me and grabbed her arm, pulling her through the water so she was next to me.

“Edward?”

“Huh.”

“Thank you… for telling me. For being honest. I knew that something was bothering you, and it

was scaring me a little bit.”

I smiled and grabbed her hand under the water.

“You’re always honest with me. It’s only fair.”

“I’m sorry I hit you, too.”

“It’s alright, didn’t hurt.”

She laughed and shook her head. “Yeah. But that's not the point. I still did it.”

“You were upset. I was expecting worse. Like one of those huge conch shells being thrown at my

head or something.”

“Let’s just not talk about it again,” she said. “For the rest of the vacation.”

So we didn’t.

We spent the next two days exploring the island together, not leaving each other’s side. We ate

together, slept together, showered together, did everything together. We went walking through the
jungle, and swimming in caves, and we snorkeled again near the jetty outside our villa. We didn’t

talk about that shit again, or fight or argue about anything. Except for when Bella insisted on

Jacuzzi sex. Because that was disgusting and not happening.

On the last day, when I woke up, Bella was sitting on the floor packing her suitcase and crying. She

didn’t want to leave.

“I feel like we’re not ever going to get to do this with each other again,” she explained when I asked

her what was wrong.

I didn’t say anything, because I didn’t know when the next time would be that we’d be able to go on

a vacation together. And I didn’t know it at the time, but looking back, there was an eerie truth in

her words.

Carlisle and Esme picked us up from the airport. Bella was kind of gloomy the entire way home, so

as soon as we got in the car, I tried cheering her up.

“Mom, did I get anything from USC?”

Esme looked to the backseat and nodded. “Yes.”

“Did I get in? I know you opened it.”

“Yes, you did.”

“Okay. I want to go there.”

Carlisle frowned and turned around. “Edward, we should discuss this at home. You got into

Stanford, too-”

“No, there’s nothing to discuss. I want to go to USC.”

Bella smiled and leaned her head on my shoulder.

“We’ll talk about it at home, Edward. Why didn’t you listen to me about the sunscreen? You’re

completely burned. And we need to work out your arm when you get home. You have a game on

Monday, and I’m sure you did nothing as far as exercise is concerned for the past week…”

Carlisle went on, and on and on. Esme was getting an earful when we got home for bringing that

annoying bastard along with her. I slid my glasses over my eyes, put my headphones in my ears,

and put my hoody over my head so I could sleep the rest of the ride home. Vacation was over, and

we were back to real life.

24.Prom

BPOV

“This is fucking sad,” Edward said, throwing back a shot and cringing. “My high school baseball

career is finished.”

“Yeah and we rocked those motherfuckers! Way to end the season!” Jasper took his shot and gave

him a man hug. I guess this sort of thing was sad to them, and it was sad to me too, but for a

different reason.

It was the end of May. Edward was leaving in 29 days. Not that I had a calendar hanging on my

wall that marked down June 27th as the first day of hell or anything.

I didn’t want him to go. And he knew it, since I barely let the kid take a leak without being latched

onto his arm. Normal things like parties and even fucking school for that matter took on a whole

new meaning to me. Because our days together were limited. Edward was leaving, and there was

nothing I could do, except sit there and fake a smile and pretend like I was supportive.

I guess I was supportive. I mean, of course I wanted my *cough* future husband *cough* to go and

live out his dreams, but not if those dreams involved leaving me behind. He was going to be in

fucking France and Italy and I was going to be in Forks slamming my head against Charlie’s coffee

table. It all seemed bleak and depressing.

I’d made a promise though, that I wouldn’t let him know how upset I was about the whole thing,

because I didn’t want him feeling guilty. Well, I wanted him to feel guilty on his own, not because I

coerced him into feeling that way. And he was trying. I mean, he argued with Carlisle for three

weeks straight because he refused to accept the fact that Edward wanted to go to USC instead of

Dartmouth or Harvard. I almost told Edward to just give in, because it seemed insane for him not to

go to an Ivy League school just because of me. But, he insisted, and I didn’t push because the

thought of being without him for six months was breaking me down. The thought of him being

away from me for four years would’ve put me in a padded room.

“What’s wrong, Bel?”

Edward’s voice broke me from my thoughts and I put on a quick smile.

“Nothing! Why?”

“Uh… you didn’t take your shot.” I looked down at the shot in my hand and shrugged before

throwing it back. Ick. He threw his arm around my shoulder and put his mouth up to my ear.

“Looking at you in my jersey gave me a really good idea for later. It involves you not wearing

pants.”

I laughed and faked being shocked. “No pants? Really? How creative.”

Edward chuckled and walked around the table to talk to Emmett and Rosalie. I watched him as he

talked and laughed, trying to memorize every single thing about him. He had a tiny birthmark under

his left cheekbone. There was a little pink scar near his elbow that he’d gotten from climbing up the

tree to my room. Whenever he’d put his hands in his hair, he’d scratch three times and then pull a

handful of his hair on the last scratch. His left eye was greener then the right one, but you could

only notice it in certain light. His hair grew in a perfect point down the center of the back of his

neck.

Sigh.

Alice must’ve sensed my depressed aura, because she came up next to me and hooked her arm with

mine and rubbed my hair.

“It’s gonna be okay, Bella. You guys can get through this,” she said sympathetically. She was right.

We could get through this. What’s that saying? Distance makes the heart grow fonder. Right?

I wanted to believe it. But a little voice in the back of my head kept telling me that in Edward’s

case, distance would make the heart grow hornier. Or maybe I was misjudging him. Whatever. Time

would tell.

It’s funny how parties like these were always a source of argument for us. Things hadn’t changed,

really. Skanky girls would still go up to Edward, still try and hit on him, still get denied. Except that

now, I found it funny. Because when he was right there, with me, I trusted him. I just wasn’t sure

that I could feel that way where there was an ocean between us.

Alice was the designated DD, so when Edward McDrunkerson was ready to go, we piled into

Jasper’s Audi and headed home. I was sleeping over “Rosalie’s.” AKA Edward’s. We drunkenly

stumbled up the back stairs of his house and I wasted no time stripping my clothes off so that I was

wearing… nothing but Edward’s baseball jersey. I waltzed into the bathroom, where he was

brushing his teeth and sat in his empty, oversized bathtub.

His mouth dropped open a little bit and he spun his head around for a second to stare at me before

he smirked and went back to his oral cleansing activities. I took a deep breath and pouted.

“Edward,” I whined. “You’re leaving in 29 days. 28 now, since it’s three in the morning.”

He swished the water around in his mouth and raised an eyebrow at me before spitting it out. “I

know.”

“Are you excited?”

“Hell yeah.” My face dropped. He noticed and sat down in the tub across from me, gripping his

hand around my ankle. “That doesn’t mean I’m not sad, too.”

“You don’t seem sad,” I told him. “I’m sitting here every day dreading this, and trying to pretend

like I’m happy and you’re just… normal. Like you don’t even care.”

Edward rolled his eyes and crawled forward to kiss the side of my neck. “I don’t care? What do you

want me to do, woman? Cry? Of course I’m upset. I lay in bed every night and debate that shit in

my head. If it’s worth it or not.”

“And…”

“And you’re my girl. I’d wait for you for years if I had to. I know you’ll do the same thing for me.”

God dammit, it was things like that that made me love him so much. And it made me hate him,

because those stupid statements were the little things I was going to hang onto every day that he

was away.

I bit my bottom lip and sighed. “Edward?”

“Huh?”

“Say we make it through this whole thing. Do you think we’ll make it through school? Do you even

want that-”

“Yeah,” he said, shrugging. “We’ll make it. You make me happy. As long as I have you, and we stay

happy together… I’ll be good. No wandering.”

I was getting all choked up. It was so unlike my Stankward to be emotional and sappy. I scooted

forward and bent my knees so that I was positioned between his legs, facing him.

“I love you, Edward. I know you hate it when I say it for no reason, but I want you to know, I really,

really love you. No matter what happens… if you’re here, or you’re there, or for some reason we

break up, I’m going to love you for a long time. You know that, right?”

He forced a smile and gulped before nodding slightly. “I know, Bella. I feel the same way.”

“Good.” I winked at Edward and spread my knees apart. “Look. I’m not wearing anything under

your jersey.”

Edward growled and laughed, before picking me up and carrying me to his bed, for a little bit of

what he liked to call the “Cullen Special.”

*

“Why the fuck did I let you talk me into this?” I winced as Alice yanked at the zipper on the back of

my dress as Rosalie tried to hold it closed.

“Bella, shut up. The dress is beautiful. It’s not our fault you’ve been trying to eat away your

depression for the last month,” Rosalie spat, shaking out her numb hand as Alice finally got the

zipper up.

“Well, I hate blue. Blue makes me look fat. And I don’t even want to go to prom. I want to lay in

Edward’s bed with him for the next two weeks and cry.”

“Nothing’s making you look fat except the pretzels dipped in chocolate ice cream you’ve been

eating by the pound,” Alice said while Rosalie gagged exaggeratedly. “Anyway, why would you sit

at home and cry? He’s not sitting home crying. Matter of fact, I just got a drunken dial from him

saying my results were back from the clinic and I have gonorrhea.”

I covered my mouth and laughed, because Jasper and Alice had gone to the clinic the week before

since they were now at “couple status” and Edward and I thought it had unlimited potential for

jokes. And then I kind of got pissed, because Edward was out getting fucked up with his friends and

laughing and making fun of Alice, while I was being squeezed into a dress that was two sizes too

small and moping.

“Glad you think it’s funny,” she continued. “Anyway, it’s prom, Bella. I know you hate dances, but

we only have, what, two weeks of school left? And even though you’re upset about Edward, you

want to look back on this day when you’re like, 50 and remember the good times you had in your

designer dress… that fit when we bought it.” She said the last part really fast and coughed, but I

heard that bitch.

I sighed and forced a smile before stepping into my shoes. When I was all dressed, Alice spun me

around toward the mirror and I gasped. I looked good. Albeit, I was clearly getting a gut, but that

would be overlooked when everyone was drunk.

We made our way over to Edward’s house, where the limo was already waiting and our parents

were gathered outside to take pictures. When we got out of Rose’s BMW, Emmett’s head shot out of

the moon roof of our H2 limo and he whistled and screamed some profanities, obviously drunk and

not caring that our parents were standing within hearing distance. I looked at Charlie and smirked.

“See,” I told him. “You thought Edward was a bad choice. Imagine how Rosalie’s parents feel.” I

thought I was getting through to Charlie until Edward ran up behind me and threw me over his

shoulder, spinning me around and exposing my underwear to half the world. I couldn’t help but

laugh because it was the stupid shit like that that I was going to miss him doing when he wasn’t

around.

When he put me down and I actually got to look at him, I almost cried. He looked so fucking

adorable in his little tux and his vest and his tie that Alice had coordinated to go with my dress. He

smelled like vodka, but I pushed that to the side because it was prom, and I fixed his collar and

pinned the boutonnière to his jacket and I just stood there and stared at him, in all his Adonis

looking, sloppy haired goodness. And then I gave Charlie the unfortunate task of taking 975

pictures of us because I was trying to document every single second of my life with Edward until he

went away.

The limo ride was the first indicator that the night was about to be dramatic. I don’t know how far

Edward was past the six drink max, all I know was that it was far. He puked in an ice bucket twice

and then continued drinking. Problem? I think so. Also, Rosalie and Emmett were showing

affection for each other for the first time in front of the four of us. And by show affection, I mean

straight up making out and boob grabbing like we weren’t even there. Rumor had it that the two of

them were going to school together in Florida and lying to their parents about having roommates

and living together. Actually, it wasn’t so much a rumor as Emmett flat out telling Edward and him

telling me. Rosalie was embarrassed of Emmett so she wouldn’t admit it. Well, she was

embarrassed of him before tonight, anyway.

Prom was as much of a dreadful affair as I’d imagined it would be. Classmates grinding, crappy DJ,

teachers grilling us as we sipped our secret flasks and tried escape to do it in the back of our limos. I

was irritated, because Edward paid zero attention to me and kept running off with all of his friends

while they acted like drunk, embarrassing douches. I figured I’d shut up and let him enjoy himself

since he wasn’t going to see any of those people for a long, long time, but I still couldn’t help but

feel insulted that we only had a short time left together and it seemed not to have any kind of impact

on him at all.

Edward and Rosalie got Prom King & Queen, and Edward opted to kiss Rosalie straight up Adrian

Brody / Halle Berry style right up on stage in front of our entire class instead of giving a speech. It

was hilarious. Rosalie slapped him and told him he tasted like regurgitated vodka. Then, Edward
passed his crown off to Jasper, since it “fucked with his coif” and he actually acted like a normal

human being for three minutes to slow dance with me. I didn’t want to do it, but he insisted, and

what do you know, Edward is an amazing dancer and carried me through the dance as I stumbled

around and stepped on his toes four times. Still, it made me temporarily happy.

After the dance I lost sight of Edward again, and Alice and Rosalie dragged me to the bathroom.

The two of them added more makeup to their damn flawless faces, and I sat in the corner in a chair,

because my feet were about to quit me.

“I’m hot,” Rosalie complained, walking over to the window and trying to open it. She got it open

about two inches, but the thing wouldn’t budge. Suddenly she spun around to me, her eyes wide.

“Bella, lock the door!”

Alice scurried over next to her and I locked the door to the bathroom, because apparently no one

else was allowed to pee while Rosalie was in there.

“What are you-”

“Shhh! This is the listening side of the window,” Alice whispered, waving me over frantically. I

peered into the crack of the window where I saw Edward standing about ten feet away, leaning

against a column outside smoking a cigarette and… Jessica. That whore was standing next to him. I

clenched my fists and went for the door, but Alice grabbed the back of my dress and pulled me

back.

“Bella, just listen. This’ll be a true test to see if he’s trustworthy or not,” Rosalie whispered,

pressing her ear against the crack in the window.

“No, this is eavesdropping, and I’d rather just go out there and kick her ass!”

“How will you know if you can trust him or not when he’s in Europe?” Alice said, glaring at me.

Fine.

I crouched down and peered out of the window, trying to listen and not get distracted by the

beautiful back of Edward’s fucking head. Damn him.

“Well, I saw you come out here alone and I know you’re leaving-”

“Yep,” Edward said, blowing his smoke in her face. That uncouth bastard. I loved him so much.

“Yeah… well, you’re always with her, so I didn’t know if I’d get to talk to you alone again, so I

wanted to say bye.”

“Okay, bye,” Edward muttered, holding his hand up to her.

“Edward. You don’t have to me so mean to me. She isn’t here.” I held back a growl and clenched my

fists together harder.

“I’m not mean to you because of her. You said what you had to say, what else do you want?”

“Nothing… maybe just a goodbye. We’re going off to different parts of the country, we probably

won’t see each other again and… before she got here, you were with me all the time. And then you

just dropped me. Even though we didn’t date, I still did stuff with you for years. I’m gonna miss

you.”

Rosalie wrapped her fingers around my arm and dug her nails into my skin. I felt my heart pumping
fast because, this fucking bitch. Then, I thought about it, and I realized that if I was in her shoes and

I’d been fooling around with Edward for years and some girl came and showed up and he dropped

me like a bad habit, I’d be upset too. I still wanted to choke her until her eyeballs popped out of her

busted face, but I guess I kind of got where she was coming from. That didn’t make it okay in any

way.

“Jessica… I don’t know what you want me to say. Sorry for stringing you along and making you

think I cared about you. I’m not a heartless bastard. Good luck at school. And don’t bug me again.”

And then he gave her a weak one handed hug without really letting his body touch hers, and he

flicked his cigarette into a bush and walked back inside.

I stood up and sighed before I slammed the window shut.

“I mean… that means I can trust him, right?”

“Yeah, of course,” Alice said, smiling. “That was good. I’m proud of him.”

“I’m not. He should’ve told her to fuck off. Or at least said something like, ‘I dropped you for Bella

because she’s not a two cent trick like you are.’ Or, you know, some variation of that.”

“You’re right,” I shook my head and unlocked the door. “He didn’t even mention me. When some

fucking French chick comes up to him and starts giving him eyes and saying ohhhh monsieur, he

needs to tell her that he has a girlfriend and to back the fuck up. Not give her a half hug, dammit!”

I stormed out of the bathroom and into the sea of my sweaty, formalwear-clad classmates and

searched the crowd for my copper headed moron. I was ready to throw down with him. For some

reason, I don’t know if it was the anxiety, or the drinking, or Edward’s little moment with

Jessicrabs, but for some reason all my insecurities about him leaving were raging.

I found him off in a corner, where him and Jasper were choking Newton with a lei. He smiled when

he saw me and let Newton run away before he realized I was having a mini freak-out.

“What’s the problem, Swan?”

I put my hands on my hips and frowned. “You… you don’t care that you’re leaving. You don’t care

about leaving me! You don’t even mention me when girls hit on you, and you aren’t even-”

“What… the fuck are you talking about?” He stared at me, confused, and when he saw me fighting

back tears he grabbed my hand and pulled me to the back of the building, where it was quiet and

there was a little gazebo lit up, right on the edge of the river. We walked over to it and Edward stood

in the middle. He grabbed the front of my dress and pulled my body up against his and started

dancing with me to the slow song that was playing inside.

“Go ahead, talk. And talk slowly, because I’m pretty drunk.”

How romantic.

“You were outside with Jessica.”

He rolled his eyes at me and chuckled. “What are you, fucking 007 or something?”

“No, I was sitting in the god damn bathroom with Alice and Rosalie and you were right outside of

the window, talking to fucking Jessica.”

“So what?”

“So, you didn’t even mention me or anything. And that’s what it’s gonna be like when you’re away.

You’re just gonna let girls talk to you and pretend like I don’t even exist.”

Edward sighed and kissed my forehead.

“Bella. You’re overreacting. What did you want me to say to her? She knows how much I care

about you. Everyone does. I feel kind of bad for the girl. I fucked with her for so long, and I didn’t

give a shit about her. She wasn’t even like… a person to me. She was like… the equivalent of a

blow up doll. So I said sorry and I left. What was I supposed to do?”

“I don’t know.” I moved closer to him and shook my head. “Okay, it’s not really about that, I’m

just… it’s getting so close. Not even two weeks. And I’m so scared, and so upset, and all my

emotions are just all fucked up. And then I see you, and you’re running around here, having a good

time, acting like your normal wayward self, not even pretending like it phases you. It just doesn’t

seem… fair.”

He gulped and kissed my softly before he kept talking. “I broke my six drink rule tonight.”

“I’m aware.”

“Do you know why?”

“Because it’s prom.”

He shook his head. “Because I’m fucking miserable. I’m trying to drink away my sorrow. Shit like

this just reminds me that it’s almost time for me to go, and that means… no more you. I can’t deal

with it. I’m upset, too Bella. Just because I don’t show it the same way you do, doesn’t mean I’m

not upset. Plus, all my friends are separating and shit. And I had to give up my last summer with

everyone, too. This whole thing just sucks, but… I have to do it. You understand, don’t you?”

I could see the worry in his eyes. I didn’t want him flaking out on his plans just because of me. So, I

nodded, and I forced a smile, and I kissed him again. And I held onto him tight, and embraced him,

and appreciated him, and I promised him I’d support him, because it was the right thing to do.

No matter what, it was what I had to do.

25.Goodbye

EPOV

I looked up from my suitcase to the clock on my nightstand to check the time. It was already after

seven, and I had to go pick up Bella.

“Shit,” I muttered, stuffing the last pile of clothes into the huge suitcase before I stood up from the

floor. Esme smiled at me and closed the top of it before she sighed.

“Okay… is that everything?”

“Yeah, for now,” I told her, grabbing my phone off my dresser and twirling my keys around my

finger. “Thanks, Mom.”

Since we’d gotten back from the graduation ceremony that afternoon, Esme had been helping me

pack all my stuff. She’d also been crying and telling me how much she loved me and how sorry she

was that my dad was being a dickhead. He still hadn’t gotten over the whole college thing.

I wanted Bella to be there, but she’d been keeping a little bit of a distance from me for the past

week. She said she was trying to ease herself into me not being around anymore. I don’t know what

the fuck the point of all that was, because I wanted to spend every minute with her that I could, but I

didn’t push it. I knew she wasn’t taking shit well and it was hard for her to be around me. Still, we

only had two days to be together before I left, so I managed to convince her to let me pick her up to

go to the stupid fucking senior bonfire tonight, because I figured there’d be less hysterical sobbing

if we were out with all of our friends.

Before I walked out the door, Esme ran up behind me and hugged me. Or at least she meant for it to

be a hug. Unfortunately it came out as more of a chokehold.

“Mom, come on. Don’t do this,” I told her, managing to wriggle out from her death grip. “Oh,

before I go, I have to ask you a question. Since you’re a girl and all that shit.”

“What?”

“I want to get something for Bella before I go. Or give her something… you know, that means

something. I can buy her jewelry or something stupid, but I want it to be personal. What can I do?”

Esme wiped away a tear from her right eye and shrugged. “Why don’t you write her a letter?

Something like that would probably have more meaning to her then just… a store bought gift,”

Esme suggested, shrugging again.

“Yeah… a letter. Okay, thanks. I’ll be home later.” I kissed her forehead and headed out the door

before she had time to restart the waterworks.

When I pulled up in front of Bella’s house, she was waiting on her front steps, looking a little

morose. I expected that. She hopped into the Volvo and forced a smile at me before she leaned over

the center console and stuck her tongue down my throat. After a minute she pulled away and

reached into her bag for something.

“Here,” she said, handing me a yellow envelope. “These are for you.”

I opened the envelope and pulled out it’s contents. It was a stack of pictures of us, of our friends,

and a couple of my parents that she’d taken over the past couple of months.

“For your room,” she clarified, staring out her window. I heard a sniffle, but I didn’t want to feed

into it, so I put the envelope in my back seat and grasped my fingers around her knee, shaking it

playfully.

“Thanks. There better be some naked ones mixed in there.”

Bella turned to me and rolled her eyes before smirking a little bit. And then we were off.

Every year the seniors had a bonfire on La Push beach on the night of graduation, to say goodbye to
all their friends and whatnot. I didn’t really give a shit about our other classmates, but everyone else

was here and I figured Newton could use one last beat down. Carpe Diem, right?

I saw Jasper and Rosalie’s cars when we pulled up, so Bella and I ran down to the beach to find

everyone. Alice was dancing on a log near the bonfire with a Solo cup in her hand, clearly already

past her drinking threshold. She hopped into Bella’s arms and forced her to chug the rest of her cup.

I joined Jasper off to the side, where he was watching her and shaking his head.

“If she’s like this now, what’s gonna happen when we’re in college?” He looked a little worried.

The honest answer would’ve been she’ll probably cheat on you and fuck a frat guy the first week

she‘s there, but I didn’t want to piss him off.

“At least you’ll be close to her,” I answered, shrugging. Jasper had also decided to go to UCLA,

which was a sort of blessing in disguise. He’d be there to take care of Bella for the last three months

I was out of the country. And he’d saved me from living in a fucking dorm when I got back, since

I’m a spoiled bitch and refused to share some cramped room with a stranger. We were planning on
getting an apartment off campus, in the same complex where Alice and Bella had decided to move

to. “And hey, on the bright side, all the guys in her school are probably gonna be gay. So there’s a

weight off your shoulders.”

“Yeah, great,” he muttered, handing me his flask. I refused, since I drove and Bella was already

drinking. Plus, they were throwing me a birthday/going away party tomorrow, and I’d get my final

drink on then. “So, how’s the farewell faring so far?” He pointed at Bella, who was squealing and

giggling at something Angela had said to her.

“Eh. Not good.”

“Goodbyes are rarely good.”

“I know,” I agreed, sighing. “What do you think is gonna happen?”

Jasper chuckled and shrugged. “I don’t know? It’s your relationship. What do you think?”

“I have no fucking clue. I want to be with her, but… I don’t know what’ll happen when I’m there. I

don’t know how busy I’ll be, or how often I’ll be able to talk to her, or what she’s gonna do while

I’m not around.”

“Why? You think she’ll go behind your back?”

“No, I trust her, I just… I don’t know. Like I said, I’m willing to try, but who the fuck knows what

it’ll be like when I’m halfway across the world?”

“Well, brother. For now you’ll just have to wait and see,” he held his flask up and took a deep chug

from it before he winced and twisted the top back on. “I took a shot for you, too.”

“Thanks.” I rolled my eyes and spun around when I heard a loud ass fucking bellowing noise

coming from behind me.

“Cullen, come here you fucker! I need you to hold up my legs while I do a keg stand.” I laughed

and Jasper and I started walking towards him. I was gonna miss that fucking moose.

The rest of the night went by pretty smoothly. A couple of whores came up to say bye to me, but

most just said a couple of sentences and booked it in fear of getting the BBD - Bella Beat Down.

My nickname for what she did to that skeeze Jessica. Another good thing about being in Europe

was that she wasn’t there. She’d be off at state giving a new batch of dudes some of her mediocre

head. Whatever.

I said my goodbyes to the people I wouldn’t see again that I actually liked. Angela, because she was

an actual friend to Bella and wasn’t a dirty whore, unlike her best friend. Plus she always gave Bella

rides to my house. Her boyfriend, Ben, because I played baseball with him and he was always

decent, even when I fucked up his best friend- Tyler, that dickhead. I said bye to some of the people
on the baseball team that I bossed around for four years. Some herbs that were in band with me that

most likely weren’t gonna get laid anytime soon, but gave me some entertaining times. I even gave

Newton his own personal goodbye; a tackle to the ground and a mouthful of sand. That was my

favorite goodbye.

I found Bella by the bonfire sitting between Alice and Rosalie, and I realized I’d been off talking to

everyone else and I hadn’t paid attention to her. Kind of like prom, except this time I didn’t have the

justification of being drunk. She didn’t seem pissed, though. I kneeled down in front of her and put

my finger under her chin.

“It’s getting late, do you want to go soon?”

Bella nodded and stood up from the log. “We can go now.”

“Well, do you want to go take a walk first?”

“Sure.”

I grabbed her hand and walked down to the water with her, where there weren’t any people. We

rarely did corny things like holding each other’s hand, but I didn’t give a fuck at that point.

“So… only one more day,” I told her, sighing. “I’m not gonna lie… I’m kind of having a hard

time.”

“Me too,” she said, looking down at our feet as we walked.

“So, stay at my house tonight. And stay with me all day tomorrow, and then we’ll go to my party,

and then stay with me again tomorrow night, until I leave for the airport.”

She giggled a little bit and stopped walking. She grabbed my other hand and spun me towards her.

The moon made her skin glow and her long eyelashes were making little shadows on her face, and

light was reflecting off her eyes, like they were… sparkling. She was so fucking beautiful. I

groaned a little and bit my bottom lip.

“Um, I was thinking… it’s so hard saying goodbye. And everything is perfect right now with us,

and I just… don’t want things to get messed up. Look at where we are right now. Right here, it’s the

perfect time to say goodbye. We’re not under any pressure, and I’m not crying. I think this is how it

should be.”

“You don’t… want to be with me tomorrow?” I frowned at her and she shook her head.

“Of course I want to be with you! I want to be with you tomorrow, and the next day, and the day

after that, but… I can’t. I just don’t want to break down and make you feel worse. So let’s just say

our goodbyes now, and not make it complicated, and pretend like we’re going to see each other

again tomorrow.”

I didn’t want to do it. I was planning on these two days to be with her, to say goodbye and she was

just ripping it out from under me. But I couldn’t argue with her, because if we got into a fight, I

didn’t know that we’d make up before I left, and going away on a bad note would’ve been way

fucking worse, so I just nodded and I gulped because I felt like crying like a little girl, but I didn’t. I

leaned forward and I kissed her, and I held her face close to mine, because that was the last memory

I was gonna have of her and I wanted it to be perfect.

“I love you, Bella. Don’t forget that while I’m gone.”

“I won’t. I love you, too. You don’t forget, either.” And then she forced a smile at me before we

started walking back up the beach together.

*

“I can’t believe she really didn’t come,” I said, shoving my hand in my pocket and clenching it

around the note I had for Bella. In all honesty, I was kind of in denial about the whole “goodbye”

thing. In a way, I thought she was bluffing. I figured she wouldn’t miss my birthday party, and the

last night the six of us would all be together. But it was one in the morning, and she wasn’t there,

and I was ready to go the fuck home.

“Here,” Alice said, sliding a plate across the table to me. “Have some more cake. It’s your favorite.

I made it just for you.”

“No, I’m good.” I huffed and scratched at my head, while the four of them sat around the table and

stared at me.

“Just go see her if you’re that upset,” Rosalie said, trying to ease the tension.

“No. She didn’t want us to have a sad goodbye. She wanted the last time we were together to be…

happy or some bullshit like that.”

“Well… are you happy?” Emmett looked at me and I stared blankly at him.

“Yeah. I’m fucking elated.”

“Cullen, if you feel like shit, go say goodbye. At least give her your sappy little love note,” Jasper

said, chuckling.

“Shut the fuck up.”

He’d come over earlier to pick me up and saw me struggling with the note, so he offered a

suggestion and it actually seemed like a fucking good idea. And then he made fun of me about it for

the rest of the night.

“You can always just leave it in her mailbox,” Rosalie offered.

“No! Edward… just go see her. I know her. She’s just confused and upset about everything. She

was crying when I talked to her earlier… I know she wants to see you. Jasper, bring him there,”

Alice said, jumping out of her chair. She handed me two huge bags and smiled. “Don’t forget your

presents.”

Jasper took the bags to the car while I said goodbye to the other three. Alice started hysterically

crying and wouldn’t let go of me. I was gonna miss that little midget a lot. Rosalie cried too, but she

added the obligatory slap to the back of my head and told me to go the fuck home. And Emmett

tackled me into the wall before giving me a huge bear hug and nearly choked me to death.

I walked out of the house in a little bit of a daze, because it all seemed so fucking unreal that I

wasn’t going to see any of my friends for half a year. It was a long ass time. I’d never gone for more

then a week without seeing at least one of them, since I was like… twelve.

When we pulled up to Bella’s house, her car was in the driveway. Jasper put the car in park and

started laughing.

“Yo, remember that first day that I dropped you off here in like… September. You were fucking

wasted and you had to climb that tree? That was classic.”

“I’ve climbed that tree wasted like 500 times since then.” We sat there and reminisced for a minute

before I took a deep breath and put my hand on the door handle. “Alright my man. See you in… six

months.”

“Yup. I’ll drop this shit off at your house in the morning,” he said, pointing to the bags in the back

seat. “I’m not gonna cry and kiss you like Alice, so… sorry if you were expecting that.”

“Nah, I’m good.” And then he gave me a pound and patted my back like it was any other day and

we were just saying bye before I hopped out of the door. I was about to slam it shut when I turned

back around and frowned. “Take care of her… for me. Please.”

“I will,” he said, smiling a little and nodding.

“Don’t fuck her again or I’ll come back here and decapitate you.”

“I can‘t promise anything.” He gave me the finger and laughed as I slammed the door in his face

before he sped off. That fucker.

Even climbing that tree for the last time was fucking depressing for me. Without looking into the

window, I jumped through and looked around. She wasn’t in there. Her bed was unmade and there

were tissues strewn all over it. She’d added more pictures of me to the corkboard on her wall. The

calendar marking down the days until I left was thrown on the floor and it looked like it’d been…

stomped on. But, she wasn’t there. I waited for a little while, and when I realized she wasn’t coming

back I took a piece of tape and stuck the note to the inside of her window before I jumped out and

started walking home.

I could’ve called someone to pick me up, but I wanted to be alone. I wanted to think about her.

I thought back to the first time I’d seen her, and her popsicle antics.

I thought about the first time I snuck into her room.

And then how I got her wasted on her birthday and fucked up her party.

The first time I’d apologized to her, because it was the first time I’d ever apologized to any girl.

The first time I kissed her.

Our ridiculous tattoos we got in Port Angeles.

Her watching me give piano lessons.

Us skipping school together and the first time we’d fooled around.

Her splitting her head open and getting caught with the tattoos.

The first time she went to third base on me.

The first time I went to third base on her.

The I love you’s and the I don’t love you’s and the apologies.

Her fighting and me fighting for each other.

More apologies and reunions.

When we became a couple.

I thought about the first time we slept together.

More fighting for her.

Christmas and Valentine’s Day and all the other days in between.

Our vacation.

Prom. Graduation. The bonfire.

Saying goodbye.

I finally reached my house and climbed up the back stairs, defeated. I hung my head and pushed the

glass door open, and that was when I heard it.

“Hey.”

Bella. She was sitting on the end of my bed, with a cupcake in her hand and a candle in it. I smiled

and shook my head before I walked toward her.

“I missed your birthday party, so here… make a wish.”

I blew out the candle and licked some of the icing off the top before I kissed her.

“What’d you wish for?” She asked me.

I smiled. “Nothing. You’re here, that’s all I wanted.”

She closed her eyes for a second and smiled, and when she opened them again they were full of

tears.

“I’m sorry,” she said. “We’re not going to have the happy goodbye. We’re going to have the sad

one, and I’m going to break down, and I’m sorry that’s the memory you have to take with you but…

I love you. And I’m going to miss you, so, so much.”

And then she started sobbing and jumped into my arms, and I just held her close to me and let her

cry and I tried not to fucking cry with her because that shit was just so sad.

After awhile she let go and her crying let up a little bit, and she took a step back and put her hand on

my chest. Over my heart. And she just stood there, staring at it for a minute, not crying or moving

or saying anything. I put my hand over hers and clasped onto it, and I moved it her side. Then I

slipped her shirt over her head and I started kissing every part of her that I could. Her neck. Her

shoulder. All the way down her arm. The crease of her elbow. All the way to her fingertips. Then I

did the same thing on the other side.

I kissed underneath her chin and down the center of her neck. And then over her collarbone and

down the center of her chest. I stood behind her and planted kisses down her spine. I looked at and I

touched and I squeezed and licked and kissed every part of her chest, her stomach, down to her

hips. All of her smooth, pale skin trembled under my lips.

She stopped me, and pulled my shirt off and did the same thing to me. I closed my eyes and

cherished every second of it. The feeling of her mouth and her warm breath on my skin, in places

she’d never kissed before. The sensation of her small hands, rubbing and feeling all over my body.

The overall feeling of just being there with her, and loving and treasuring this person who’d

changed my fucked up life around for the better.

We moved to the bed, where we finished undressing, and I went back to where I’d left off. I kissed

all the way up her calf, over her knee, the inside of her thigh. I moved right to the middle of her and

licked and sucked and touched her, making her moan. And then I hovered over her, and I kissed her

lips, and I wiped her wet cheek with my one hand, and I told her I loved her before I pushed inside

of her, and I tried as hard as I could not just to fuck her, but to show her that I loved her, and how

much I loved her and needed her, because she was it for me. She cried, and she moaned, and we

laughed and whispered to each other and right before we finished I looked into her eyes, at she was

crying again, hard, and I thrust into her over and over and put my head in the pillow behind my

head because I just fucking let go and I was tearing and I didn’t want her to see me like that.

My body collapsed and I wiped my face on the pillow before I kissed her again and rolled over. She

put her chin on my shoulder and kissed my ear before she whispered in it.

“Edward… I know that we can do this. I’ll wait for you, and I’ll fight for this relationship, because

you’re the most important thing in my life. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, and I’ll

try my hardest not to let anything come between us. I always will.”

I wrapped my arm around her, and I kissed her forehead and I held her close to me for the rest of the

night. Because she was my girl, and leaving her was the hardest thing I’d ever had to do, since the

happiest times of my life were spent with her. She changed me for the better while still letting me

be myself, because she loved me for who I was, and for that, I was always gonna be grateful.

*

BPOV

Edward’s flight was early in the morning, so I stayed with him until the last possible minute I could.
Sitting there in my driveway as he dropped me off, I had to fight to let go of him. As soon as he was

gone, my chest felt empty and hollow.

I stumbled up the stairs to my room in tears, not caring if I woke up Charlie. All that I wanted to do

was lie in bed and miss Edward and wait for his call.

I dragged myself to my bed and curled up under the blankets and tried to catch my breath. After

awhile I’d calmed myself enough to attempt to fall asleep. I closed my eyes, and that was when I

heard it.

The wind was blowing and there was a ruffling noise coming from the window. I turned my light on

and sat up, where I saw a note folded up and taped to the glass. I jumped out of bed and ripped it

off. On the outside was a note from Edward.

Bella,

I wanted to write you a letter to let you know how I feel about you, but I think you already know,

since I’ve told you time and time again how much I love you. Since a poem seemed to get through to

you last time, I found this one and I thought I’d try it again.

I love you bizzle, and I’ll see your sexy ass in six months!

Edward

I don’t know when he had managed to climb into my room and leave the note without me knowing,

but it didn’t surprise me. I unfolded the paper and sat down on my bed to read the poem.

i carry your heart with me- by E. E. Cummings

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in

my heart)i am never without it(anywhere

i go you go,my dear; and whatever is done

by only me is your doing,my darling)

i fear

no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want

no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)

and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant

and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows

(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud

and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows

higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)

and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

I clenched the poem to my chest and crawled back into bed. At that moment, all doubts that I ever

had that we wouldn’t make it through our time apart were gone. And Edward, that little sneaky

bastard, knew I’d feel that way after his little poem. Because no matter where he was, he was mine.

And no matter what, I’d always be his… because, let’s be real. I could never resist Edward