Jenna Leigh Paul - Al the Wrong Reasons

Copyright © 2010 .Jenna Leigh Paul

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be
re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with
another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re

reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use
only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank
you for respecting the hard work of this author.

Chapter 1

Bob Seger belted out loudly – urging me to take those old records off the shelf -
and made me wince. I pul ed my pil ow over my head to block out the noise but
my mother was relentless. And I real y, honestly detested that song.

I knew it was time for a new pil ow when I was able to hear the timid rap at my
door. So much for al that fluffy fil ing blocking out the world. I groaned and sat up,
kicking my blankets to the foot of my bed. “Come in,” I shouted.

The door creaked open a smidgen and a tuft of red hair was visible through the
crack. I giggled. “Tommy, just come in already. I’m decent.” Forcing the door open,
my little cousin peeked shyly at me. He did this every time my mother played
music – the loud noise frightened him and he’d come to me for comfort.

His airplane pajamas were faded and rumpled and showed quite a bit of his
ankles but he didn’t seem to notice. He smiled when he realized I was tel ing the
truth that I was indeed wearing pajamas and not running around my room scantily
clad or nude – not like I did that on a regular basis.

“We have school,” he said simply, standing in the doorway. “Aunt Mina is playing
loud music and we have school.” His freckled nose crunched up in distaste and
confusion. Tommy hated to have his morning routine broken by the slightest thing.

“I’l ask her to turn it off, okay Tommy?” I asked gently as I tousled his hair.

Nodding, he slipped his hand into mine. “Breakfast?”

“Sure,” I said. “Waffles today? It is Monday after al .”

His smile was answer enough so I led him down the stairs, wincing again as Mick
Jaggar slyly requested some woman to start him up.

My mother loved music – especial y the classics. She’d spent her youth bouncing
from garage band to garage band, singing and shaking her ass for al it was worth.
She’d always dreamed of being on stage in some skimpy outfit with electric guitars
screaming behind her and fans cheering in front of her.

When that didn’t work out, she’d settled for fol owing her favorite band around the
country. That was where she met my father. Unfortunately for her –and me, too, I
suppose – she just couldn’t remember which one helped in my conception. Oh,
she had it narrowed down to three or four and for that I suppose I was grateful.

Tugging Tommy through the cramped living room, I dropped his hand as I
marched over to the CD player and pressed the stop button. Blessed silence
greeted my ears. I glanced at Tommy and smiled. “Better?”

He nodded.

“Hey! What happened to the music?” my mother asked, frowning as she entered
the room. She was stil as beautiful as I imagined she’d been in high school with
dark blonde hair, thin waist and long legs. She had a pert nose and pretty blue
eyes. I was fortunate to have inherited al of her features except the long legs and
the large bust – but I wasn’t complaining. I didn’t need beauty – I needed the
brains that I must have inherited from my grandparents.

Intel igence and an excel ent col ege degree were what I’d use to get through life.
I loved my mother fiercely but I refused to turn into her.

“Tommy didn’t like it so loud,” I said as I took Tommy’s hand again. “It’s a school
morning, remember? He likes waffles and cartoons.”

“Oh, Tommy baby,” my mother crooned as she hugged him. “I forgot, darling. Go
turn on your cartoons and I’l fix your waffles.” I flashed my mother a grateful smile
as we both headed to the kitchen. Thomas was a responsibility my mother
definitely didn’t need but she would never give him up. Aunt Gloria – my mother’s
older sister – was even flightier than my mother. She showed up at our door one
day about three years ago with an adorable, red-headed little boy and handed him
over to my mother. Aunt Gloria just couldn’t handle raising a child - especial y one
with special needs.

After Tommy had been with us a few months, I urged my mother to take him to the
doctor where he was later diagnosed with a mild case of OCD. That, combined
with his red hair and freckles, made him a perfect target on the playground.
Luckily for us, Tommy had some strange friendship going on with Gabriel Madison
who was rumored to be the elementary school bul y. He kept a close eye on
Tommy and never let anyone touch him.

“Are you excited about starting col ege today?” my mother asked as she hunted in
the freezer for frozen waffles.

Shrugging, I grabbed a granola bar. I peeled away the wrapper and nibbled on the
end as I contemplated my day. New classes, new friends, new professors – I

wasn’t sure excited was the word. And the weird thing was that I would be living
on campus.

My mother’s house was exactly nineteen minutes from the driveway to the
Administration Building of Dunne-Browling University and I would have been
perfectly happy to commute every day. Unfortunately, I was not footing the bil for
this expensive and elaborate school – my grandparents were. They insisted I live
in the dorms so I could experience col ege life like a coed should. I suspected it
was their way of getting me out of my mother’s clutches.

“I guess,” I mumbled as I finished my granola bar and raced upstairs to shower.

Al my things were already in my dorm and mostly unpacked. I had intended on
sleeping in my new col ege bed Sunday night but my mother had insisted that I
stay one more evening at home. Like I wouldn’t be home on the weekends or
something.

Stil , I’d stayed and I was actual y grateful that I did. Tommy would never have
opened his mouth to tel my mother to shut off the music – instead he would have
sat in his room, rocking back and forth on his bed, until she shut it off. And who
knows how long it would have taken her to check on him.

I sighed as I dressed, thinking about the schedule I’d posted on the refrigerator.

“Mom, make sure you fol ow this,” I said, tapping the schedule with my finger as I
waltzed back into the kitchen. “You know how upset Tommy gets.”

“I wil , I wil ,” she said, removing Tommy’s waffles from the toaster. She dropped
them on his favorite soccer plate, buttered, and cut them. She squeezed just the
right amount of syrup on top then cal ed gently to Tommy. He scuttled into the
room and sat in his usual chair at the table.

I glanced at the clock, kissed the top of Tommy’s head, and snatched my keys off
the holder near the back door. “I need to go,” I announced. “I want to at least meet
my roommates before my first class.”

“Oh,” my mother said, pressing her hand to her heart. “My little girl is off to col
ege.” I refrained from rol ing my eyes and settled for pecking her cheek. “I doubt if
I wil be home for dinner tonight. I need to get situated.”

“Wel , cal me,” she ordered as she clutched the back of Tommy’s chair. I promised
I would, waved, and exited quickly.

I sprinted to my car and nearly squealed out of the driveway. I was on my way to
freedom.

***

“You must be Irelyn Colby,” a very slim brunette grinned as I breezed through the
dorm room door. I was determined to start this whole new experience off with
confidence.

“I would hope,” another girl snorted as she lounged on a sofa, dark eyes on the
television. “Otherwise, someone made copies of our keys.” She stood and
smirked, offering me a hand. She had striking features and long, nearly jet black
hair. She had exaggerated curves and a pronounced bust – just what I’d always
wished I’d had. Her eyes appeared black, too, but as I drew closer I could tel they
were just an unusual y dark shade of brown. “I’m Bailey Foxworth.” She shook my
hand and gestured toward the other girl. “That’s Morgan Taylor.”

“I’m Irelyn,” I said, though they already knew that. “It’s nice to meet you.”

“So, why didn’t you sleep here last night?” Morgan asked. She was cute –
shoulder length hair, hazel eyes, slender figure, and a warm, sweet smile.

I grinned sheepishly as I dropped to a chair. “It’s actual y sort of stupid,” I admitted.
“I live less than twenty miles from here but my grandparents real y wanted me to
live in the dorms.”

Bailey snorted and shared my disdainful smile. “Ah, the adults – always know
what’s best for us, don’t they?”

“So they think,” I mumbled.

***

I adjusted to my classes rather quickly – though I’d always been sort of a nerd. I
made a few tentative friends and agreed to join a study group. Life was settling in
comfortably.

Neither of my roommates was in my classes but we always managed to gather in
the evening to watch reality shows or just talk about the new people we’d met.
Neither of the girls had a steady boyfriend – although Bailey had plenty of
experience with boys – and they loved to question me about my eighteen month
relationship with Dustin Summerlin.

The other girls had adjusted to col ege life, too, and often had adventurous stories
to tel me every Monday when I returned to the dorm. While I spent my weekends
with Mom and Tommy, and having dinner at the country club with Dustin, they
spent theirs meeting interesting people and attending fun parties.

One Thursday night about a month after the semester started, we huddled in our
pajamas on the cozy sofa Bailey’s parents had paid for and ignored the TV as
Morgan bounced up and down, exciting news ready to burst from her lips.

“This girl, Candace Harvey, she’s in my Lit class,” Morgan gushed, her cheeks
flushed and her eyes bright. “She said that everyone is going to Rusty’s tomorrow
night. Apparently, Out Back is playing and she said we should go check it out.” My
brow furrowed as I tried to grasp her words. It was a difficult task due to al the
bouncing that made her speech a little hard to fol ow. “Okay, cal me stupid but
what is Rusty’s and what is Out Back?”

Bailey clamped her hands on Morgan’s shoulders, forcing her to sit stil . She
turned her beautiful eyes on me as her luscious lips curled into a smirk.

“Rusty’s is a bar and Out Back is a local band. I've heard them - they're pretty
good- and word around campus is that they’ve made quite the name for
themselves in the area.”

“Candace says local critics have compared them to Fal Out Boy and Linkin Park,”
Morgan squealed.

I stifled a groan and nodded. I wasn’t much into modern music as my mother gave
me daily doses of classics. Aerosmith I knew – Fal Out Boy, or whatever, not so
much. I was a little leery to reveal my ignorance so I just nodded my head.

“Cool.”

“We should so go,” Morgan said. “It’l be great.”

I definitely wasn’t excited about the prospect of spending a Friday night in a
cramped bar with a bunch of drunken col ege kids puking and screaming while a
band did their best to imitate their idols. If that was the case, I could go home and
help Mom out in the pub she managed.

But, as Morgan was far more conservative than Bailey, I didn’t think it would be
that bad…

“I’m in,” Bailey said with a shrug. I’d only known her a short time but I could tel that
she was already planning to hook up with some guy for the night. She glanced at
me and my heart jumped – I thought she’d read my mind. “You in, Irelyn?” It was
on the tip of my tongue to bow out but I real y wanted to fit in here. I wanted to

make friends, do wel in my classes, and start my life. Besides, what would it hurt?
I didn’t have to drink and it wasn’t like I was going to guy hunt. I smiled, suddenly
eager. “Yeah, sure. I’m not going to see Dustin this weekend, anyway.”

***

I nearly changed my mind when we pul ed up to the bar Friday night. The place
was packed and the girls had dressed me in a short, tight skirt and a shirt that
dipped far too low in my opinion. Definitely not my usual apparel.

Taking a deep breath, I tossed my blonde hair over my shoulders. I was
determined to have fun and maybe have a funny story to tel Dustin when I cal ed
him Saturday.

“Let’s go,” Morgan said eagerly as she took my hand.

Rol ing her eyes, Bailey strol ed casual y behind us. “Morgan, quit acting like a
virgin looking to get laid and just relax. The band doesn’t go on for twenty minutes
yet.”

In the pale light, I could see color touch Morgan’s cheeks but the smile never left
her face. I was a little surprised because she struck me as more like my type –
quiet, studious, and not much of a party person.

The bar was larger inside than it appeared on the outside. A bar stretched across
the back, dirty-mirrored wal . Every stool was ful and three harried waitresses
scurried among the thirty or so square tables, delivering drinks and col ecting tips.

A stage was positioned opposite the bar and a drum kit already sat waiting, along
with two microphone stands and a couple of guitars. I didn’t see any band
members anywhere though I was probably looking for someone with long hair
wearing spandex - my mother's type of band members. I wasn’t real y sure what
people who played in bands looked like these days – even guys who were only
known in my little corner of the world.

“There’s a table!” Morgan shouted above the din as she dragged me to the corner
of the stage. Empty bottles and overflowing ashtrays covered the top but the
chairs were empty so we snagged them.

A waitress floated over to clear the mess with a meager smile. Bailey ordered a
whiskey and soda while Morgan and I just ordered soda. Bailey gave us one of
her fabulous eye rol s before informing us that we would be drinking something
with a little more kick by the end of the night. I hesitated to tel her that the hardest
drink I’d ever had was a little red wine with dinner at my grandparents’ house. The

look on Morgan’s face told me that she was in the same boat.

I didn’t dwel on the drink situation because the house lights flickered on and off as
three guys jumped on the stage. The bar patrons went wild and I straightened,
ready to see what the fuss was al about.

Once the spotlight hit the lead singer, my breath left me in one noisy whoosh.
Luckily, the music so loud that no one noticed. I finished my soda as my eyes
drank in the lean form strumming his fingers manical y over the guitar strings and
singing with his mouth provocatively close to the microphone.

He wasn’t as tal as Dustin in my estimation but he was thinner. He’d ripped the
sleeves off his black t-shirt to reveal a decent muscular build. His hair was sandy
brown and gel ed in a messy fashion while his eyes reflected the spotlight – their
color stil unknown to me.

He definitely wasn’t as clean-cut handsome as Dustin but something about him
attracted me like bees to honey and al those other cheesy sayings. I closed my
eyes as I listened to his voice, imagining being wrapped in his arms on some
lumpy mattress in a smoky hotel room.

I sighed, opening my eyes, my cheeks burning. My greatest ambition was to be a
writer and I often found myself letting my imagination run away in situations like
this. But this man singing was the epitome of any leading man I’d ever conjured.

By the time the band started their second set, I was on my second vodka and
cranberry juice, compliments of Bailey. And it wasn’t too bad. It at least helped me
relax so I could enjoy the music.

My pulse shot through my veins when the band started a bal ad and the lead
singer’s eyes met mine. His lips curled in a sardonic smile as his gaze remained
fixed on mine. My heart thumped in my throat and I couldn’t move. I understood
immediately how a rabbit felt when it hopped innocently into the path of a
rattlesnake.

Giving a low chuckle, Bailey rested her arm on the back of my chair. She leaned in
close to me to whisper in my ear. “I think Lucas likes you.”

“Huh?” I asked, stil mesmerized by the man on the stage.

Laughing, she shook my shoulders. “Lucas, the lead singer,” she said a little
louder. I snapped my head in her direction as my jaw fel . She stuck her index
finger under my chin and closed my mouth. “You’l catch flies.”

“What are you talking about?” I managed to utter.

She laughed again, her dark eyes fil ed with amusement. She nodded at the stage
and I chanced a quick look over my shoulder but the lead singer’s eyes were
darting throughout the crowd. “His name is Lucas and he can’t stop looking at
you.”

“But…but…” I stammered. “I have a boyfriend.” I winced as I heard the stupid
words fal out of my mouth. The lead singer, er, Lucas, wouldn’t know about Dustin.
An electric thril zipped through my body. Maybe it was the alcohol. “What should I
do?”

“Smile at him,” she said with a lift of her shoulder. She leaned back confidently in
her chair and lowered her lids. “And not an idiotic smile.” I nodded, slightly
doubtful. It wasn’t cheating, right? Just flirting. I tossed back the remainder of my
drink and motioned for the waitress to bring us al another round. My heart was
free and I was feeling adventurous. I wanted to be able to giggle and laugh with
my friends on Monday as we relived the weekend together.

The band ended their performance to raucous applause and Bailey nudged me
annoyingly. “Go say hi,” she said.

With Dutch courage, I scooted my chair back clumsily and made my way through
the hordes of fans anxious to congratulate the band on a great performance. By
the time I reached the stage, the guys were gone. Heaving a sigh, I perched on
the edge, dejected. I glanced at our table, blinking rapidly, trying to focus, and
found a smal group of brave guys congregating around Bailey and Morgan.
Sighing again, I was considering either grabbing a cab or getting another drink
when someone sat beside me, offering a glass.

“Cranberry and vodka,” he said with a hint of an accent. “That’s what Marissa said
you were drinking.” I looked into the soulful brown eyes of Lucas, the lead singer. I
smiled, hoping it wasn’t idiotic, and accepted the drink. “Thanks. Um, Marissa,
whoever she is, was right.”

He smiled and I immediately fel in love with his mouth. His teeth were perfectly
straight and amazingly white while his eyes crinkled in the corners with the weight
of his smile. “I’m Lucas, by the way. Lucas Newton.”

“Um, Irelyn Colby,” I said and sipped my drink. “You guys are real y good.”

“Thanks. Glad you enjoyed the show.”

I inched closer, not able to help myself. His grin widened as he planted a palm on
the stage right behind me. He inclined his head closer and his beer breath tickled
my ear. “It’s sort of stuffy in here – want to go grab some air?”

“Yeah,” I said a little too quickly. “Sure.”

He plucked the drink from my hand, set it on the stage, and laced his fingers
through mine. He helped me up and led me through a narrow hal and into an al ey.
The air had a bit of a bite to it making me shiver. He pushed me against the brick
building and rubbed my arms, trying to create a little friction. I could have told him
that his touch was enough to heat my insides but I was enjoying his hands on my
body far more than I should.

“Better?” he asked with raised brow. Before I could nod, his lips were on mine. I
clutched his t-shirt, wrinkling it in my fists, as I returned his kiss. When his tongue
traced my bottom lip, I groaned as my knees buckled. He grabbed my hips and pul
ed me to his body. My hands climbed his chest and laced behind his head. I
couldn’t believe this was happening but I didn’t want it to stop. Never had so much
passion raced through my body – even when Dustin and I let things get out of
hand.

“Want to take this inside?” he asked as he dragged his lips from mine and trailed
them along my jaw. I lifted my neck so he could reach my throat.

“Yes,” I gasped.

“If you’re sure,” he mumbled. He edged back and his glossy eyes bored into mine.

I already missed his touch. “I’m sure.”

His lips returned to my neck. I could feel his smile on my skin as he steered my
body up a set of metal stairs. I held tightly to his shoulders so I wouldn’t fal ,
clinging to his body as he dug a key out of his jeans pocket to unlock a door.

I barely registered where we were as he backed me into another room. I fel on a
mattress and yanked him on top of me. I felt like an animal that had escaped from
a lifelong imprisonment as he resumed his frantic kisses. The heat from his body
was scorching and I happily helped him remove my clothes.

As heated as our kisses had been, I expected the sex to be the same way. But it
wasn’t. Lucas slowed his pace and left not one inch of my body unexplored. When
he final y took me, every nerve in my body was on edge and aching for him.

Afterwards, he dropped beside me, his chest heaving. I was having the same
struggles with my breath – and with my guilt. What had I done?

Chapter 2

Rol ing to his side, Lucas traced my lips tenderly with his index finger. I closed my
eyes, my traitorous body responding to his touch. I needed to move away and
dress and escape. I needed to run home and hide under the blankets of my bed
and not come out until my mother forced me. I needed to figure out what I was
going to tel Dustin. I needed to figure out what I was going to tel myself.

“You okay, love?” he asked as he yanked the blanket out from under me to cover
both our bodies.

“Yeah,” I whispered. “Fine.”

Inching closer, he rested his head next to mine. He fumbled for my hand, lacing
our fingers on top of my stomach. “Stay with me tonight. I’l drive you home in the
morning.”

“I can’t…I shouldn’t,” I tried to object.

He dragged his lips across the side of my neck and I shuddered. “Stay, Irelyn. You
know you want to.” I did. I wanted to stay more than anything else at that moment.
And if I did, I could prolong this amazingly ridiculous situation in which I’d suddenly
plunged.

Why not prolong the agony? Or rather, the pleasure. No need to have to face
reality until the ugly rays of day smacked me in the face.

“Um, do you live here?” I asked stupidly.

When he chuckled, his breath blew my hair and tickled my ear. “No. This is
Spencer’s place. I have a key. But don’t worry – this is the spare room.” My eyes
popped open and I nearly bolted upright. “Is he here? Is he coming home?”
Laughing, he released my hand to trail his fingers up my body and to my face. He
stroked my cheek. “Spencer wil crash at my place tonight.”

“Um, who’s Spencer?”

“The other guitarist who happens to be my cousin. Col in, the drummer, is my
brother.” He propped his head with his hand, smiling at me. I melted. “My twin.
Fraternal.”

“Oh, that’s um cool.” I cursed my utterly stupid, idiotic mouth. My first one-night
stand and the only pil ow talk I could come up with is ‘that’s cool’?

“Where do you live? So I know where to take you in the morning,” he asked.

“Dunne-Browling. The dorms.”

“Ah, a col ege student,” he said as he dropped his head next to mine. “How come I
haven’t seen you at Rusty’s before?”

“First time,” I said. My head grew groggy and my eyelids heavy. The tender caress
of his fingers on my skin lul ed me into a drowsy state.

“Sleep, love,” he whispered as he kissed the skin under my ear.

***

I came to before the sun and eased out of Lucas’s grasp. Snorting in his sleep, he
rol ed to his back. I froze, afraid he’d wake, but he didn’t.

I slipped off the bed to gather my clothes. I hurriedly dressed, grabbed my bag,
and jumped as something thumped to the floor. I watched Lucas careful y but he
didn’t budge. Once I was sure he was stil out, I tiptoed out of the room and
stumbled through the dark apartment until I found the front door.

I pounded down the metal stairs to flee through the al ey, the cool, early morning
air nipping at my arms. As I reached the sidewalk, I rifled through my bag for my
phone. Panic seized me when I couldn’t find it and I glanced toward the al ey.

“It must have fal en out of my bag,” I groaned. I rubbed my forehead as I looked
left and right. Finding a corner diner, I crossed the street. I went inside, ordered a
coffee, and asked for a public phone. The waitress directed me to the hal where a
payphone was perched between the bathrooms. I cal ed Bailey’s cel hoping she
was in the dorm and not with a guy.

“Yeah, what?” she said sleepily.

I breathed a sigh of relief. “Bailey, can you come get me? I don’t think I have
enough cash for a cab.”

“Irelyn?” she whispered. “Are you okay? Did he hurt you?”

“No, I’m fine, real y. I just, I’m having coffee at the diner near the bar. Can you
come get me?”

“Yeah, I’l be there in twenty minutes,” she said and hung up.

I returned to the counter and sipped my coffee, praying Lucas wouldn’t wake up
only to find me gone. I didn’t want him to come looking for me. I didn’t want to
explain that I didn’t do these sorts of things. I didn’t want to explain that I had a
boyfriend. I didn’t want to explain that my grandparents definitely would not
approve.

Mostly, I didn’t want him to talk me into going back to the apartment with him.

Bailey found me fifteen minutes later. I paid my bil and hurried her out of the diner.
Once we were buckled safely in her car and on the road, I sank into the seat.
“Thank you.”

“What happened?” she demanded. “I saw you leave with Lucas but I never
expected you to stay the night with him. I tried to cal your cel but you didn’t
answer. His brother told me that Lucas thought you were cute and just wanted to
talk to you.”

“Bailey,” I said, interrupting her. “He didn’t do anything I didn’t want him to do,” I
admitted with blazing cheeks. “He gave me the chance to back out.” Bailey
grinned as her hands relaxed on the wheel. “Wel , then, how was it?”

“Amazing,” I groaned, squeezing my eyes shut. I rested my head against the cool
window and forced away images of Lucas and me writhing on the bed.

“What?” she asked. “What’s the problem?”

“I have a boyfriend, remember? What the hel am I supposed to tel him?”

“Nothing,” she snorted. “Not a damn thing. Do you think he’s being faithful to you?”

“Yes,” I said without hesitation. “He loves me. And I love him.”

“Exactly,” she said. “You love him and you slept with someone else.”

“Bailey, I don’t want to talk about it right now,” I pleaded. “I just want to get to the
dorms and get some sleep. I have to go home in the morning. Wel , this morning.”

“Okay, Irelyn,” she said. “And we’l keep this between us. But, um, Morgan kind of
figured out what you were up to, also.”

“Just you two know, right?” I asked. She nodded and I closed my eyes, minutely
relieved. The next problem was facing my mother and hiding my guilt. I’d have to
distract her somehow.

A slow smile spread across my lips as my eyes eased open. I turned ful y toward
Bailey.

She lifted a brow. “What?”

“How would you and Morgan like to spend the weekend at my house?”

***

“Oh, this is going to be so fun,” my mother gushed as I pushed Bailey and Morgan
into the house. “I hope you girls brought something nice to wear – we have to
have dinner with my parents at the country club tonight but after that – it’s party
time!” I groaned as I dropped my bag on the living room floor and surveyed my
roommates. Amusement sparkled in Bailey’s eyes as a tiny smirk lurked in the
corners of her mouth. She nodded at my mother and produced a slinky red dress
from her bag.

“Wil this do, Ms. Colby?”

Mom’s eyes brightened as she eyed the garment. “Oh, it’s perfect! I wish my Irelyn
would wear dresses like that and show off her figure.”

“Don’t start, Mom,” I said.

“At what country club wil we be dining?” Morgan asked with a concise, polite tone.
Obviously, she’d paid more attention to her parents’ lessons on manners than
Bailey.

“Whispering Winds,” Mom said and rol ed her eyes. “It’s nothing but a fancy place
for stuffy people to meet and brag about how much money they have.

But, my parents insist on us having dinner with them every weekend. They like to
keep up with what’s going on with Irelyn and Tommy.”

“Where is Tommy?” I asked as I peered around the living room.

Mom’s eyes sparkled as she clapped her hands in delight. “Piano lessons! Oh,
Irelyn, his music teacher cal ed and told me that he is an absolute genius on the
piano! We arranged for lessons immediately and he loves it!”

I beamed, heart pumping happily. I hoped this new development would bring a
little joy to Tommy’s life and give him something to concentrate on besides his
fastidious room and his obsession over cartoons. “When wil he be home? I want
him to meet my friends.”

“Not for another hour or so,” she said. “Why don’t you show the girls your room?”

***

Bailey attracted quite a bit of male attention – both young and old – as we fol
owed my mother through the club’s dining room to the table where my
grandparents were already seated. Her red dress clung to her hips and hung
above her knee while revealing enough cleavage to cause eyes to linger.

Tommy had taken an instant liking to her and clutched her hand, much to her
amusement. I was a little concerned that her crass attitude would frighten him but
her eyes gentled so uncharacteristical y when she shook his hand, it made my
heart warm.

Morgan walked beside me looking lovely in a light green dress with a modest
neckline and hem. Her hair was held back with clips that matched her dress and
teardrop diamond earrings sparkled in her lobes.

I plodded along in one of the many dresses my grandmother sent me – dresses
appropriate for a young lady to wear. It was blue and expensive and not very
flattering but I wore it anyway just to please my grandparents.

As I’d watched my friends dress, I had wished for something a little more flashy
and trendy – something that would make people notice me as Irelyn and not the
Colby’s granddaughter. But then, that would be too much like my mother and I
couldn’t lose sight of my ambition to not turn out like her.

I introduced my friends to my grandparents and it was immediately obvious which
one they preferred. They were polite enough to Bailey – especial y when she
explained her father owned a chain of high-priced department stores in the US
and overseas and had an entire wing at Dunne-Browling named after them. A
twinge of pity struck my heart for my poor grandfather – he only had a section of
the library named after him.

Cocktails were being served but Bailey refrained from ordering anything alcoholic,
much to my relief. As the conversation around the table turned to col ege life, my
grandmother smiled as she nodded over my shoulder. When I turned, I found a
grinning Dustin rol ing on the bal s of his feet. My heart fel and gasped as it
wondered what to do. I gaped at him, hoping he couldn’t see my indiscretion in my
eyes.

Bailey kicked my shin, effectively shaking me out of my stupor. I returned Dustin’s
smile as I got to my feet to hug him and kiss his cheek. My grandparents were

watching and they simply abhorred displays of affection in public.

“I, um, thought you weren’t coming home this weekend?” I asked.

He cupped my cheek as his lips turned in the corners. “I couldn’t stay away from
you for that long.” My guilty heart cursed me and decided to turn on the
waterworks. Tears prickled behind my eyes but I bit the inside of my cheek to keep
them at bay.

“That’s wonderful,” I managed to utter and sound nearly sincere. “My friends are
here. Um, I’d like you to meet them.” I introduced him to Bailey and Morgan as
Morgan scooted over to al ow Dustin the chair next to me. He held my hand under
the table, politely answering my grandparents’ questions: No, his parents were not
dining at the club tonight – they had theater tickets. Yes, classes were going wel
and he was enjoying col ege in Chicago.

I studied his profile as he spoke, turning his charming smile on my grandmother.
I’d met him my sophomore year of high school after my grandparents, who had
never shown any interest in me before, discovered that I actual y had a brain and
it was quite intel igent. They immediately enrol ed me at St.

Catherine’s, a pristine and exclusive private school.

My mother, being stubborn and ful of pride, didn’t have the money the other
students’ parents did. My mother refused to accept any money from my
grandparents – although she would not turn down their offer of a better education
for me. Other than that, she chose to work and earn her own way. I was quite
proud of that. But my peers frowned at it and looked down their surgical y
enhanced noses at me.

I definitely hadn’t fit in at al .

I’d studied and kept to myself until one cold, icy day, I fel in the parking lot,
dumping the entire contents of my backpack. Dustin appeared and instead of
laughing, he helped me col ect my belongings then eased me off the ground. From
that moment on, I had one friend at St. Catherine’s. It wasn’t until midway through
our junior year that he admitted his feelings and we started dating. My
grandmother was ecstatic and my grandfather approved. Dustin’s father was a
successful attorney with a clean reputation. Dustin would make a wonderful
addition to our family.

Mom liked Dustin, too, but she wasn’t ‘in love’ with him like my grandparents. As I
listened to him speak, my thoughts floated away to Lucas and I wondered what
Mom would think of him…

“Irelyn?” Dustin asked.

“Huh?” I said as heat flooded my cheeks. “I’m sorry, I was…um…thinking about an
assignment.” He smiled gently as he squeezed my hand. “It’s Saturday night –
time to relax and not think about school. I ordered the chicken for you, is that
okay?”

“It’s fine,” I said, banishing al thoughts of Lucas away. How dare I let him in my
head while I was sitting next to my wonderful boyfriend! What was wrong with me?

After dinner, the five piece band began to play softly and Grandfather led
Grandmother out to the dance floor. I stifled a groan. Dustin would be expected to
dance with me.

“Tommy, do you dance?” Bailey asked.

Tommy considered her, wide-eyed, and shook his red head. “I don’t know how.”

“I can show you,” she said as she gently coaxed him to the dance floor. My mother
beamed.

“Come, sweetheart,” Dustin said as he took my hand.

He wrapped his arms around me properly, holding me appropriately as he swayed
his body in time to the music. His touch was warm and familiar and …

boring. I longed for him to break the rules – to tug me closer while his breath
warmed my neck and shoulder. I wanted him to whisper in my ear how much my
closeness affected him.

He didn’t. He wouldn’t. Dustin Summerlin always abided by the rules.

“Sorry I didn’t let you know I’d be here,” he said as his eyes swept my face. “I
wanted to surprise you.”

“Don’t worry about it,” I said. “I like surprises.”

“I know you do,” he said with an adorable smirk. “That’s why I booked us a room at
that little bed and breakfast you said you always wanted to visit.” My eyes grew as
a little color touched my cheeks. “Dustin, my friends are staying at my house
tonight,” I said, glancing at my grandparents to make sure they couldn’t hear our
conversation.

“I know,” he frowned. “Sort of blows the whole surprise, huh?” I nodded
apologetical y. He kissed my cheek. “I’l reschedule, don’t worry.” He eased back to
look at me, his eyes dark and his brow low. “Are you feeling al right? You’ve been
awful y quiet tonight.” I forced a smile. “I told you, I’ve been thinking about an

assignment that is due next week. I haven’t even started on it yet.”

“Stop worrying about it,” he said. “Enjoy your weekend home with your friends.
Worry about school on Monday.” The song ended and he wrapped an arm around
my waist. “I’m going to head over to a friend’s house but I’l cal you tomorrow.” My
cel phone! He couldn’t cal my cel phone. I was pretty sure that I’d lost it in
Spencer’s apartment but I wasn’t sure who had it or if it was stil lying on the floor.
“Um, I misplaced my phone so I’l have to cal you, okay?”

He paused momentarily before removing his arm from my waist to clutch my
shoulders. “Do you know where you lost it? Or do you think it’s gone for good? I
can get you a new one.”

“That’s not necessary,” I said trying to smile. “I think I left it in one of my classes. I’l
get it this week.” Doubt flickered in his eyes and gave my heart a mild panic
attack. Could he see my lies? Did he realize what an awful, evil person I was?
“Okay, sweetheart, but if you don’t find it, let me know and I can get you a new
one.”

I knew better than to object for when it came to gifts, Dustin was both generous
and persistent. “Sure.” He bid his goodnights to everyone and I excused myself to
walk him to the doors. He yanked me outside away from the windows and pressed
his lips firmly against mine. Startled, I clutched his shoulders, not used to such
force from him, but somewhat pleased.

He ripped his lips from mine, a satisfied smirk covering his mouth. “That’s what I
needed. Cal me when you can and quit stressing over school. I’l see you next
weekend.”

“Okay,” I said as I fingered my lips. I watched him disappear in the parking lot
before returning to the dining room.

That night, I huddled in a sleeping bag on the living room floor between Morgan
and Bailey. My room was too smal to accommodate us al so we were forced to
camp out downstairs.

“Bailey, I lost my phone Friday night,” I said as soon as my mother drifted up the
stairs to her own bedroom. “I lost it in the apartment.” She laughed and folded her
arms behind her head. “Wel , guess you’l have to get it back.” I groaned and fel to
my pil ow, grinding my teeth. “I can not go back there.”

“Sure you can,” Morgan piped in. “Lucas doesn’t live there, Spencer does. Just
knock on the door and ask Spencer if he found your phone.” I gnawed on my
bottom lip. “I could do that.”

Bailey chuckled in the dark and I turned my head, barely able to make out her

features. “Do you actual y think Lucas would leave the phone there?” she asked.

“Why not?” Morgan asked.

Bailey propped her head on her hand. “Wel , if it was as good as Irelyn said it was,
then he’l want to see her again. Therefore, Lucas probably has the phone. He
won’t want Spencer or anyone else to give it to her.”

“Oh, this is so not good,” I whined. “I don’t want to see him again.”

“Oh, cheer up, Irelyn,” Bailey said. “What’s the big deal? They play at Rusty’s
every Friday night during the fal and winter. You go down there and ask him for
your phone. He can’t very wel convince you to sleep with him in a crowded bar.”

“You say that now…” I said, my heart relaxing. She actual y made sense. Maybe if
I did confront him with a bunch of people around, I’d keep my head and not think
about how amazing his lips felt against my skin. Little sparks of desire tickled my
gut. “Okay, I’l go over there Friday and ask him for my phone.” Bailey lowered her
head to her pil ow, a satisfied smirk on her face.

I closed my eyes and tried to sleep – thinking that exhaustion would find me easily.
I’d been far too busy the previous night to rest and it had to be catching up with
me.

But the minute my eyes closed, I recal ed every touch; every kiss. I imagined his
lips leaving my mouth to make a trail down my chin, over my throat and to my
breasts. I shuddered and squeezed my eyes tighter, urging the thoughts out of my
head. I needed to be thinking about Dustin and how wonderful he was. I needed to
focus on school and getting my degree. I needed to remember that Lucas was
exactly the sort of guy my mother probably slept with when she conceived me.
He’d get what he wanted until he grew tired – then he’d throw me away and find
someone new.

Maybe he’d catch a break and get discovered, forcing him move away to New
York or LA to sign a record contract. He’d forget al about me as he plunged into
the glittery world of rock n rol . Al the beautiful women throwing themselves at
him…

Or, maybe he’d take me with him and we’d rent a penthouse overlooking Central
Park or a bungalow on the ocean. I’d accompany him to al his functions and
afterwards, we’d return home and make love al night.

I fel into an uneasy sleep, dreams of big cities, passion. And Lucas floating in my
head.

Chapter 3

The next week was pretty much hel . Thoughts of Lucas drifted in my head only to
be immediately washed away by guilt. I had to get over this little Lucas fantasy
and concentrate on Dustin. I loved him, after al , and he loved me. What we had
was the perfect fairy tale romance with me starring as Cinderel a, only, minus the
evil stepmother.

Dustin was my prince. He’d rescued me from the snobs at St. Catherine’s and
swept me off my feet. He’d showed me that not everyone who had money and
nice things were evil and I, in turn, introduced him to my world.

Our relationship had slowly evolved into something serious and eventual y the
hand-holding and sweet kisses had turned fervent. We’d succumbed to desire one
spring night not too long ago in his bedroom while his parents were in Paris. It had
been awkward, a little painful, but very sweet. He’d professed his undying love to
me and I’d promised that someday we’d marry.

Lucas threatened to ruin al of that - Lucas and my stupid phone that just had to fal
out of my bag.

By the time Friday night rol ed around, my nerves were raw and my concentration
shot. I couldn’t focus on a single thing. Morgan fretted over me while Bailey just
laughed.

“Girl, you need another rol with him – that wil relax you,” she suggested.

I shook my head furiously as I gathered my hair and fastened a rubber band
around it. “No, not at al . That’s what’s got me al in a tizzy in the first place. I don’t
need to do it again.”

“Is that what you’re wearing?” Morgan asked, hands on her hips as she surveyed
my jeans and Dunne-Browling sweatshirt. When I nodded, she frowned, tsking
me. “You need to spruce up a little more, honey.”

“Oh, no,” I said, holding up my hands. “No. I’m not going there dressed up in …
sleazy clothes. I don’t want him to get the wrong idea.”

“Sleazy,” Bailey snorted as she adjusted the neckline of her blouse to reveal a little
more cleavage. “Do I look sleazy, Morg?”

“You look rather lovely, Bailey,” Morgan smiled.

Groaning, I dropped my brush in order to pick up my bag. “Ha ha. Now, wil one of
you please come with me?”

“Oh, we both are, honey,” Bailey smirked. “We have a lot money riding on this.”

***

Rusty’s wasn’t quite as packed – there was a huge footbal game that night and
most of the student body was attending. Plus, we were early as I wanted to catch
them before they went on stage

I wanted to just stand around and wait for Lucas to arrive. I just wanted to get my
phone and leave but Bailey insisted on getting a table and having a couple drinks.
I relented – she was my ride. She chose the same table we’d sat at the week
before and my cheeks started to burn. I chastised myself –

the man wasn’t even in the room and I was already fantasizing about him –
reliving the past Friday.

Bailey nudged me while Morgan released a quiet squeal forcing me to snap to
attention. I turned toward the stage and there he was, in al his sexy glory, helping
his brother set up the drums.

My heartbeat sped up and my palms started to sweat. My leg wiggled and my
hands trembled. Desire burned my groin and spread throughout my body. I wanted
him – badly.

“Go get your phone,” Bailey said, her eyes sparkling in amusement. Nodding, I
urged my legs to take me to the stage.

As it seemed none of the boys noticed me, I wondered if I should clear my throat
or just cal Lucas’s name. I glanced over my shoulder at the table but Bailey
narrowed her eyes and waved her hand toward Lucas.

“Did you need something, darling?” a voice asked behind me. It wasn’t Lucas but I
stil didn’t want to turn around.

“What she needs, you can’t give her,” Lucas laughed. I closed my eyes, counted to
three, and then faced him. He grinned, his teeth stil as white and perfect, the
corners of his eyes stil crinkling.

“My phone,” I said, my voice scratchy. I cleared it quickly. “I lost my phone last
weekend. Um, do you have it?” Lucas jumped off the stage and perched on the

edge, arms folded across his chest. He wore a t-shirt promoting some band I
hadn’t heard of with its sleeves ripped off.

“Ah, your phone,” he smirked. “How did you manage al week without it?”

The hint of an accent lifted his voice driving my desire absolutely crazy. I wasn’t
sure where it was from – possibly Australia – but it only added to his al ure.

“I got by,” I mumbled. “So, do you have it?”

Tugging on my ponytail, he winked. “You look absolutely adorable and deliciously
mouthwatering al at once.” I thought my heart was going to fly out of my chest. I
had to remind myself to inhale, exhale. Inhale, exhale. He leaned closer and my
eyes fluttered shut. “I have your phone, love. I’l give it to you after the show.”

“I, um, wasn’t real y planning on staying,” I mumbled feebly as I opened my eyes
and gazed into his. They were brown, yes, but with flecks of green.

Unusual. I couldn’t look away.

“That just hurts my feelings,” he said in a teasing tone. “I thought you were a fan.” I
wanted him to kiss me in the worst way. Dustin was a mil ion miles away from my
head and Lucas was right there. And I wanted him to kiss me. “I’l stay. I guess I’l
have to.”

He laughed as he yanked me into a hug. “It’s in my bag in the back,” he whispered
in my ear. “Once we’re done, I’l get it for you.”

“Thanks,” I said. “I’l , um, let you finish.”

“Sure,” he said as he released me. “I’l see you after the show.”

I nodded again before somehow making my way back to the table without tripping
or knocking someone over. I plopped into my chair and watched Lucas finish
setting up while my friends watched me.

“Wel ?” Morgan prodded. “What did he say?”

“He has my phone but it’s in his bag in the back. He’l give it to me after the show.”
Bailey’s heavily-made up eyes narrowed as her ruby red lips curled in a smirk.
“Oh, I’m betting he wil .” I glanced at her, confused, until she waggled her
eyebrows. Her double meaning hit me like a brick, making me blush from the roots
of my hair to my toes.

My heart flopped, hoping she was right.

As I watched the show, I kept the drinking to a very minimum. I didn’t need alcohol
fogging my brain when I dealt with Lucas. I wanted to have a clear head so I could
get my phone and just leave.

I appreciated rock music the more I watched Lucas play. He was extremely gifted
with his guitar and thoroughly enjoyed himself on stage. He and his band mate –
the one who lived in the apartment above the bar – laughed as they strummed in
time with each other and it made my heart spin.

And when he sang, his voice so sweet yet rough and his lips ever so close to the
microphone, shivers of lust crept up my spine. I fought them off before my friends
could notice but I was almost certain Bailey caught one or two – especial y when a
knowing smirk appeared on her face.

When they finished, I waited for the crowd to disperse before approaching him. His
hair, as wel as his t-shirt, was damp with sweat but his dancing eyes were lively
and bright.

“Did you enjoy the show, love?” he asked as he extended a hand to help me on
stage.

“Yes, it was great. You guys are great.”

The other guitarist snorted and chuckled. “Don’t they sel thesauruses in that col
ege bookstore of yours? If they do, you should purchase one.” A tiny smile
cracked my lips as I rol ed my eyes. “Okay, you guys were outstandingly fantastic
and you sounded phenomenal.” I lifted a brow. “Better?” Laughing, the guitarist
extended a hand. “Much, thanks. I’m Spencer Kel y, by the way. You must be
Irelyn.” I blinked rapidly, wondering how he knew my name. I never thought Lucas
would say a word about us unless it was to brag. I narrowed my eyes at Lucas as I
shook Spencer’s hand. “I didn’t think you remembered my name.”

Lucas narrowed his eyes back as a tiny smile flitted across his face. He wrapped
an arm around my shoulders and placed his mouth close to my ear. “Of course I
did, love. I always remember the names I moan out in pleasure.”

Lust flamed in my stomach as my heart performed intricate jumps and flips. The
hair on the back of my neck stood straight up and goose bumps jumped out on my
flesh. So much for not dressing sleazy – he wanted me no matter what.

And I was thril ed.

“Um, can I have my phone now?” I asked.

“You know, if you wouldn’t have sneaked out on me in the middle of the night, you
would have never lost it,” he said.

“If I wouldn’t have slept with you in the first place, I never would have lost it,” I
countered.

“Touché,” he grinned as he slid his hand down my arm and tangled our fingers
together. “Your phone is at my place. Come with me and we’l get it.” I wriggled my
hand, trying to wrench it loose, but he only held it tighter. “I thought you said it was
in the back.” He lifted a shoulder, amused by my struggles. “Maybe it is.”

“Then maybe you should give it to me,” I retorted.

“Maybe I wil ,” he sneered, dragging me off the stage, toward a storage room.
“Maybe I’l just give it to you here,” he said as he towed me in the room and shut
the door. He released my hand as I stepped back. He inched forward, lust in his
eyes. “I haven’t thought of anything but you al week.” I froze, my mouth wide open.
Wasn’t I just some…some girl? Someone to sleep with? “I…”

“You, what, Irelyn? Did you think of me? Did you close your eyes and remember
how amazing our bodies were together?” I nodded as my eyelids fluttered shut.
His hands gently gripped my hips and eased me closer as his lips found the side
of my face. “Did your week drag slowly as you anticipated getting together again
tonight? Did you ache to have me again?”

The stench of dirty mop water lingered in the air as I imagined us writhing on the
filthy floor. A shudder wracked my body and not in a good way. I stepped back,
eyes wide. “Not here, Lucas, please,” I begged. I didn’t want to be that cheap.

He cupped my cheek, his eyes glazed in desire. “I wouldn’t think of it, love. I’l take
you home. With me.” He kissed me. “You game?” I was game for anything except
rol ing around on the dirty floor. Of course, I was quite positive that he could
convince me if he was inclined. “Yes.” He kissed me again before bending to pick
up a rucksack. He opened a pocket and produced my phone. He dropped it in my
shaky hand, smirking the entire time. “Put it where you won’t lose it. After you cal
your friends and tel them not to wait for you.” I gaped at him, hardly hearing his
words. He pushed the phone at me and I quickly flipped it open, finding Bailey’s
number. She answered immediately.

“I see you got your phone back,” she said, a definite smirk in her voice. “What did
you have to do to get it?”

“Nothing,” I snapped. Lucas raised a brow and traced my jaw with his mouth. “Um,
nothing. Um, don’t wait for me, okay? I’l be home later.”

“Tomorrow,” Lucas murmured against my skin. “I’l take you home this time.”

“I heard that,” Bailey said. “See you then!”

I snapped my phone shut, shoved it in my bag, and snaked my arms around
Lucas’s neck. His lips kissed their way up my throat, to my mouth. I groaned in his
mouth and melted against him. I ran a hand down his chest to wiggle it under his t-
shirt but he stopped me before I could rip it off.

“My place, love, remember?” he said between kisses. “Let’s go.”

He released my body reluctantly to take my hand. When he opened the door, he
cursed. “Damn it!”

“What?” I asked huskily, stil recovering from his kisses. “What’s the matter?”

Smiling at me, he squeezed my hand. “Nothing. Wait here – I have to get my
guitar. If I leave it again, Col in wil be pissed.” Nodding, I watched as he sprinted
down the hal . I leaned against the wal , hoping that no one would come down
there and question what I was doing. I didn’t know how to explain that I was
Lucas’s love toy, waiting for him to take me home to have his way with me.

He returned about five minutes later, rucksack over his shoulder and guitar case in
hand. He stretched out his free hand for me to take, my heart rumbling.

He led me out of the back of the building to his truck. He tossed his things in the
back and bit his lip.

“Where the hel are my manners,” he said as he pushed a button on his keychain
to unlock the locks and then opened my door. “Ladies first and al that.” I smiled a
little as I climbed inside. He hurriedly got in on his side and started the engine. The
squal ing radio made me jump, hand to my chest. He pushed a button to shut it
off, apologetic grin on his face. “Sorry, love, I forgot.”

“It’s okay,” I said. He backed out of his spot and headed for the street. I watched
the buildings pass my window through narrowed eyes. “Where do you live?”

“Cross town a ways,” he explained as he fiddled with the temperature controls.
“It’s not that far.” Biting my lip, I nodded, al my courage and desire from earlier
slipping away. I was having second thoughts. And Dustin returned to my mind. I
couldn’t do this. I’d have Lucas take me to the dorm. I would go home, cal Dustin,
and confess everything. If he dumped me then that was exactly what I deserved.

“Why so quiet?” Lucas asked.

“Oh, um, just thinking,” I mumbled, refusing to face him. If I looked at him I knew
I’d cave and end up in his bed.

“Second thoughts?” he guessed. “Want me to take you home?”

I opened my mouth to tel him that was exactly what I wanted him to do but I
couldn’t utter the words. I studied his profile, the sharp lines and angles in his face
and my body temperature rose about twenty degrees. A strange tickle burned my
groin. I couldn’t wait to get to his apartment.

“No. I want to go to your place,” I whispered. He held out a hand and I took it. His
touch made the tickle increase so I disengaged my seat belt to move closer,
dropping his hand to rest mine high on his thigh. He draped his arm around my
shoulders, chancing a quick kiss to my neck.

“Almost there,” he said rather huskily. I grinned, a shot of triumph warming my
body. Obviously I had some sort of effect on him, too.

He parked on the curb in front of a two flat and climbed out of the truck, holding his
door open so I could scoot out his side. Snagging his guitar and his bag, he
hurried me up the walk. He unlocked the door and dropped his things before
grabbing my hips and pul ing me flush with his body.

“Mm,” he mumbled. “I’ve wanted you al week.”

I yanked his shirt off his body dropping it as I placed kisses on his chest. He
steered me through a door and without bothering with the lights, pushed me on a
bed. I kicked off my shoes as he tugged my sweatshirt over my head. His mouth
traced the outline of my bra causing my body to arch into him. He reached behind
me to unhook my bra, wrangling it off my arms and dropping it next to my
sweatshirt on the floor.

I attacked his jeans, struggling to push them down his legs. He helped and
between the two of us, we managed to add them to the growing pile along with my
jeans.

“You drive me so crazy, Irelyn,” he hissed as he nipped at my stomach. “I wanted
to take my time with you tonight but I just can’t wait.” I directed his face back to
mine and kissed him, exploring his mouth thoroughly. “Just take me, Luke,” I
gasped. “Please.” He kicked off his boxers while I removed my panties. He parted
my legs but paused. “Damn. Damn.”

“What?” I asked, chest heaving.

“Nothing, love,” he said hoarsely, moving away. “Give me a second.”

He climbed off the bed and I bolted upright in total disbelief. “Where the hel are
you going?” I demanded, anger mixing with desire.

“Condom,” he shouted over his shoulder as he disappeared through a different
door than the one we fel through minutes ago.

The anger evaporated as understanding washed over me. Yes, condom. I couldn’t
remember if we’d used one the first time but I sure as hel wanted him to use one
now. I didn’t need a child at my age. Or anything nasty he might have picked up.

I shivered a little as the cool air teased my skin. I was suddenly conscious of being
total y naked in a strange bedroom while waiting for a man that wasn’t even my
boyfriend to find a condom. Although the guilt returned, I was sort of … thril ed.
Maybe I was turning into some kind of pervert or something.

“Ah, here we are,” Lucas said, startling me out of my thoughts. I glanced up and
spotted his dark figure tossing a box up in the air, catching it deftly. He tore it open,
grabbed something inside, and set the box on a nightstand. The crinkling sound
coming from him told me he was opening and applying the condom. My heart
started thumping again. He crawled over me and brushed my lips. “Better. Now,
where were we?” I didn’t have the chance to answer because his mouth was on
mine and my mind went blissful y numb – not thinking at al – only feeling.

Instead of starting where we’d left off, he started over, his hungry lips lingering
over mine, his tongue probing my mouth. When we parted for air, his lips
journeyed down my face and neck to my breasts. My breath caught in my throat
as he continued to kiss and nip my skin. Just when I thought I was going to lose
my mind, he brought his face back to mine.

“You’re body is so beautiful I can hardly stand it,” he said as he nudged my legs
apart and final y put us out of our misery. I pressed into him, wrapping my legs
around his waist and clinging to his shoulders. He buried his face into the crook of
my neck as he groaned. It turned me on, spurring my body into action.

Neither of us lasted long as al the pent-up sexual frustration we’d both suffered
during the past week shot through us like a rocket. He col apsed on top of me,
using his arms to keep his weight from crushing me.

I panted, desperate to fil my lungs with air. Lucas kissed me softly and rol ed to his
back, taking me with him. My head fel to his chest and I listened as his heartbeat
slowly returned to normal.

“Are you running out on me again?” he asked as his hands caressed my back.

“Hm, I don’t think my legs are strong enough.”

Chuckling, he kissed the top of my head. “Good.”

“Um, Lucas?” I whispered.

“Hm?”

“Um, did you use a … um, condom, the first time?”

He laughed as he rubbed my back a little harder. “Of course, love. I borrowed one
of Spencer’s.”

“Hope you didn’t return it,” I giggled. I was a little giddy – possibly because of the
extremely satisfying sex I’d just engaged in with a very sexy man.

His laughter vibrated in his chest as he squeezed me. He sighed as his laughter
came to an end. “I’l have to go invest in some, huh? Seeing as I had to go rob my
brother’s stash.”

“You did?” I asked, barely listening. I was content to just listen to his heart.

“Yeah and I brought the entire box in here so I hope you aren’t planning on leaving
anytime soon.” My heart trembled. “No.”

He slid me off his chest to rol us both to our sides. He stroked my cheek and
tucked my wild hair behind my ear. “About your phone…” I waited for him to
continue and when he didn’t, I raised a brow that he obviously couldn’t see in the
dark. “What about it?”

“Wel , I was curious and I checked your contacts. You don’t have many, by the
way.” He kissed my forehead. “Anyway, I figured out who Morgan and Bailey are –
you’re friends, right?” I nodded. “And ‘Mom’, “Grandmother’ and ‘Grandfather’ are
pretty self-explanatory.” My heart fil ed with dread as I fol owed where the
conversation was headed. “Pretty much,” I mumbled.

“What I was wondering was who is Dustin?”

I bit my lip and shut my eyes. I decided at that moment if I couldn’t be honest with
one that I’d be honest with the other. “Dustin is sort of my…”

“Boyfriend?” he asked.

“Yeah,” I admitted.

“That’s what I thought,” he said. He kissed my forehead again. “Don’t sweat it,
love. That’s between you and him and this is between you and me.”

“Do you think less of me?” I asked childishly.

“Do you think less of me?” he countered.

“What do you think?”

He snorted. “I think you’re here because you’re not getting something you need
from this boyfriend.” I didn’t say anything, just contemplated his words. He couldn’t
be right – Dustin was perfect. But, if he was so perfect then why was I here?

Chapter 4

Lucas stopped in front of the dorm and took me in his arms. He kissed me
thoroughly, making my head spin, and then reached over me to open the door.

“Have a great weekend, love,” he said.

I nodded and wished him the same before fleeing to my room. As I ran, I realized
that he hadn’t said goodbye, see you later or asked me if I’d be at Rusty’s on
Friday. And maybe that was best.

Bailey and Morgan glanced at me as I stormed through the door. They were sitting
side by side on the sofa, feet propped on the coffee table, munching on cold Pop
Tarts. I dropped my bag and stood with my fists planted firmly on my hips, waiting
for them to say something.

Of course, Bailey spoke first. Her eyes grazed my body as a smirk toyed on her
lips. “Did you have a good evening?” she asked as if I’d gone to a garden party.

“What am I doing, huh?” I demanded. “Just what the hel am I doing?”

“Having fun, by the looks of you,” Bailey quipped waving at my rumpled,
disheveled appearance. “And good for you.” Groaning, I plopped next to her,
snatching the Pop Tart from her hand. “I can’t believe the mess I’ve made.”

“What mess?” Bailey asked, grabbing a fresh Pop Tart off the coffee table.

“My life,” I declared.

“Listen to me, Irelyn,” Bailey ordered. “You’ve been with Dustin for wel over a year,
right?” I nodded. “And I take it he was your first?” Again I nodded. She shrugged.
“You love him, he loves you – you probably plan to marry him someday, I’m sure.”

“Wel , I don’t know about al that,” I mumbled. “I mean, maybe.”

“Yeah, wel then you’re facing the prospect of only having one man for the rest of
your life,” she said. “So, you’re having a fling. So what? Do you love Lucas?”

“No,” I gasped, shaking my head. “No.”

“You and Lucas are having fun and sooner or later, you two wil get tired of it and
end things and you’l go back to life as normal.” She crossed her ankles, grinning
like she’d just figured a way out of the National Debt.

“But, I’m cheating,” I whispered.

“So, end it,” Morgan offered. “Irelyn, if you don’t want to do this, then end it with
one of them. Don’t put yourself through this torture.” She was right – I knew it. She
was exactly right. But Bailey had a point, too. Maybe not a moral point but a point
nonetheless. Was I ready to settle down with one man for the rest of my life?
Obviously not since I couldn’t keep away from another.

“I can’t decide now,” I said, pushing the problem away to contemplate later. “I need
to shower and get home before my mother starts cal ing.”

***

“You’re late,” Tommy said as I breezed through the door. He hugged me briefly
then darted off to a beautiful piano that took up most of the living room. I gawked
at it as my bags fel from my hands.

“Wow,” I gasped. “Where did that come from?”

“Irelyn,” Mom exclaimed as she hugged me tightly to her chest. I returned her
embrace, smirk gracing my lips. She always greeted me like I’d been gone for
years. “How was your week?”

“Boring,” I said as I pul ed away and continued to admire the piano. It certainly
was beautiful. “Where did this come from?” Mom lifted a shoulder as she smiled
fondly at Tommy. He perched on the bench, his fingers hovering over the keys.
“My parents bought it for Tommy. I told them about how his music teacher raves
about him and the lessons he’s been taking. Apparently your grandmother stopped
in during a lesson and she was impressed.”

Tommy glanced at me, waiting for my approval. I plastered a fake smile on my
face and nodded. He grinned large and al owed his fingers to float lightly over the
keys. I was mesmerized – total y astonished at the talent flowing from the little boy

before me. Where had it come from?

I couldn’t speak as tears col ected behind my eyes. Oh, he wasn’t ready for
Carnegie Hal , but he had talent. A beautiful smile engulfed my face as pride and
hope for Tommy engulfed me. He had a future. A very bright one.

Finished, he swiveled on the stool in such a little boy manner that I col ected him
in my arms and showered affection on him. He accepted it happily and it fil ed my
confused heart with joy.

“Tommy, you are wonderful!” I exclaimed.

“Thank you,” he simply said. He eased out of my arms and turned back to the
keys. Opening a book, he obediently began working on scales.

Mom motioned for the kitchen and I fol owed her, stil quite speechless.

“Isn’t he wonderful?”

“Mom, he’s a freaking prodigy!” I said.

She giggled. “Maybe. But it just makes him so happy, did you see?”

“Yes, but this gives him something to look forward to – a career perhaps.” I
screwed my face up in concentration, dreaming of the wonderful life ahead of
Tommy.

“Oh, Irelyn, when wil you ever learn that life doesn’t have to be so neatly
organized?” I froze, gazing at her face. What did she mean? Did she think people
should just be as reckless and careless as she’d been? Pregnant at sixteen and a
mother by seventeen? No wonder my grandparents wanted nothing to do with
Tommy or me until they discovered we weren’t like our mothers. They didn’t want
their hearts broken again.

I sighed, rubbing my forehead. I didn’t want to have this argument with her again. I
had too much on my plate at the moment. “Okay, fine, Mother. I’m going to go put
my stuff away and cal Dustin.”

My heart faltered as I said his name. Would he
hear the guilt in my voice? And later, when I was with him, would he see the sin in
my eyes?

***

“You look so hot,” Dustin said for what had to be the hundredth time. “Wow.”

“Stop,” I said with a bashful smile. Inside, I was skipping for joy. Bailey had loaned
me one of her dresses and Morgan, quick with a needle, had made the necessary
alterations. Bailey was tal er than me with a little more in the bust department. But
by the time Morgan finished, the dress fit me like a glove.

It was a simple black dress that hugged my waist and reached my knees. The
sleeves sat slightly off the shoulder and emphasized my neck. The heels were
Morgan’s and although they stil didn’t make me as tal as Dustin, I could at least
rest my head on his shoulder when we danced.

Dinner was the same boring affair except my grandparents raved about Tommy’s
newly found talent to anyone who would listen. Once we finished, Dustin whined
that I looked too pretty to go home.

“And you’re too pretty to sit in a dark theater,” he said, his eyes lighting up with a
new idea. “Why don’t we hit a club? We’ve never done that before and I think it wil
be fun.”

Only wanting to spend time with him – and not just to try to erase Lucas from my
mind – I agreed.

I lived in a pretty smal town in Indiana cal ed Dalefield. It was about thirty minutes
from Indianapolis and two hours from Chicago. The Dunne-Browling campus was
located just outside of Indianapolis limits and we passed it as Dustin drove us to
Indy. Chattering excitedly, I could tel he was happy to have me to himself, even if
we were going to a club. I relaxed, holding his hand, happy that he was happy.
Maybe I’d take Morgan’s advice and just end that sil y thing with Lucas. I loved
Dustin. He was comfortable and safe.

After he parked, Dustin took my hand, eagerly towing me into Last Cal , a club I’d
passed mil ions of times but never entered. He paid the cover and we both
accepted the under twenty-one stamp on our hands.

The place wasn’t as crowded as I assumed it would be on a Saturday night – of
course there were plenty more clubs around. We easily found a table and ordered
soft drinks from our flirty waitress.

The music was live and loud and not Out Back. I relaxed, total y thankful for smal
favors.

Dustin dragged me to the dance floor just as the band slowed things down. He
held me closer than he ever had at the country club, guiding my body around the
dance floor. I rested my cheek on his chest, eyes closed, a satisfied smile on my
face.

Once the song ended, the band jumped into a fast number but Dustin wouldn’t al
ow me to return to the table. I laughed as he spun me and twirled me and dipped
me. It’d been such a long time since we’d had this much fun together that I didn’t
want it to end.

After a few more songs, I begged Dustin to let me rest and rehydrate. He agreed
and we returned to our table. As I settled into the high seat, sipping my drink, I al
owed my gaze to wander around the club. My heart stil ed in my chest when I
glanced at the bar and met a familiar pair of eyes. Sucking in a breath, I drew a
concerned look from Dustin.

“Sweetheart? Are you okay?”

Swal owing, I nodded. “Yeah. Just wiped out.” I tried to smile at him as I tore my
eyes away from the bar. “Um, I need to use the restroom.”

“Sure,” he said and pecked my lips.

I fled down a dark hal and pushed the door open so hard I nearly knocked another
girl off her feet.

“I’m so sorry,” I pleaded, fighting tears of panic.

“Yeah, don’t worry about it,” she said as she brushed past me. Digging my phone
out of my bag, I began to pace. I dialed Bailey’s number and listened as it rang
and rang. Final y, she answered.

“What’s up, Irelyn?”

“Where are you?” I asked. “Can you talk?”

“Hold on. I’m at a party. Let me step outside.”

I waited, staring at my anxious reflection in the mirror. Would Lucas say anything
to Dustin? Should I be out there in case he did? No, he’d told me that it was
between me and him.

“Okay, kid, what’s up?” Bailey asked.

“Oh geez, Bailey,” I gushed, near hyperventilation. “I’m at a club in Indy with
Dustin and guess who is sitting at the bar?” She laughed and I wanted to hit her.
“You’ve got to be kidding me. Real y?”

“It’s not funny!” I said, stomping my foot. “What the hel should I do?”

“Ditch Dustin and hook up with Lucas?” she suggested.

I groaned.

“Al right. Wel , just ignore Lucas and hang out with Dustin for a few then fake a
headache.” She was bril iant. “But what if Lucas approaches us?”

She snorted. “He won’t. Didn’t you tel him about Dustin?”

“Yes,” I said slowly.

“Then he won’t. Now get out there before one of your men comes looking for you.”

“Thanks, I owe you,” I said and hung up. I splashed a little cold water on my face,
gathering courage to return to the table. I was relieved to see Dustin stil by
himself. I slipped onto my chair, offering him a smal smile.

“Is something the matter?” Dustin asked, his eyes laced with deep concern. A
thousand butcher knives jabbed my heart. I hated myself.

“A headache,” I claimed. “I’l be fine in a second.”

“Do you want to leave?” he asked, crestfal en. I couldn’t refuse him.

“No, not yet.”

“Just say if you want me to take you home,” he offered. He glanced around the
club, looking for the waitress. “I’m going to get us some drinks.” I watched Dustin
wend his way through the crowd before resting my head on my arms on the table.
I groaned when I felt him approach. “Go away, Lucas. I can’t talk to you tonight.”

“You look so good,” he said with such longing, my treacherous heart twitched.
“Wish you’d dress that way for me.” I lifted my head to glare at him. “Please, go
away.”

“Relax. Your boyfriend is at the bar getting drinks.” Smirking in his sexy way, he
leaned against the table, tipping a bottle of beer to his lips. I realized in that
moment that I had no clue how old he was.

“Yeah, and he’l be back in a minute.”

Lucas shrugged. “I told you that this,” and he waved his finger between me and
him, “was between us and I meant it. I’m not saying a word.”

“So, what am I supposed to tel him when he comes back to the table, huh?
Thanks for the drink honey and by the way, this is the guy I’m sleeping with behind

your back.”

Lucas grinned and chuckled. He winked at me causing my pulse to zip through my
veins. Why did he have to be so sexy and why did I have to want him so much?

“Here, sweetheart,” Dustin said, uncertainly. He glanced at Lucas, a deep groove
appearing in his forehead. “And you are?”

“Lucas,” Lucas said, setting his beer on the table and extending his hand. “I’m a
friend of Bailey’s. Have you met her yet?” Dustin’s face relaxed and he managed
to crack a smile. I could read his expression like a much loved book. He was
assuming that Bailey and Lucas were sleeping together. Jealousy raged inside my
heart at the mere thought. I inhaled, trying to tame it. What a fraud I was.

“Yes, I met her last weekend. She’s a beautiful girl,” Dustin said.

Lucas nodded, averting his eyes from me. “She is. You must be Dustin.”

“Yes, nice to meet you,” Dustin said with a forced smile.

“So, have you two been here before?” Lucas asked.

I massaged my temples as a real headache began to form. Dustin draped a
possessive arm around me. “No. Irelyn isn’t a big music fan.” Lucas raised a
surprised brow at me, his eyes registering his astonishment. “Oh, real y? Huh. I
thought everyone loved music.”

“It gives me a headache,” I said through clenched teeth, glaring murderously at
Dustin.

He kissed my cheek. “Stil not feeling wel ?” I shook my head. “Al right. I’l take you
home.”

“Hey, nice to meet you,” Lucas said, shaking Dustin’s hand. He nodded at me.
“See you soon, Irelyn.”

“Sure,” I mumbled.

“Maybe the four of us can get together sometime?” Dustin suggested. My stomach
turned.

“The four of us?” Lucas asked.

“Yeah, me and Irelyn and you and Bailey,” Dustin said.

“He’s not real y with Bailey,” I said as I smiled sarcastical y at Lucas.

Amusement literal y turned his eyes a lighter shade as a smirk flowed across his
lips. “No, not at al . I’m actual y seeing another girl – nothing serious or anything.”

A low growl erupted from my lips but Dustin took it as a hint that I was not feeling
wel . “Wel , maybe we can get together anyway. I need to get Irelyn home.”

“Sure, see you around.”

I jerked Dustin’s arm before he could offer any more stupid suggestions. As soon
as we hit the parking lot, he started with the questions.

“So, who exactly is that guy?”

“A friend of Bailey’s. I’ve only met him once or twice,” I said, satisfied that I hadn’t
quite lied yet.

“You seemed awful y anxious to get away from him,” he mused as he opened his
car door for me. “Why?” I waited for him to get in and buckle his seat belt before
answering. “He’s okay, I guess. He plays in a band and, like you said, I’m no fan of
music.”

“Ah,” he concluded. My heart settled, happy he accepted my explanation. I hated
to lie and I suddenly envisioned a lifetime of falsehoods stretching before me.

Dustin pul ed into the driveway and kil ed the engine. I fiddled nervously with my
fingers, knowing he’d want more than just a little peck on the lips.

“We should go away together soon, Irelyn,” he said as he cupped my cheek. “It’s
been awhile, you know.” I did know and I was more than a little afraid to spend a
weekend alone with him – I was terrified. I was terrified that I’d have sex with
Dustin and compare him to Lucas the whole time. And that wasn’t fair. Not in the
least.

“Maybe when, um, maybe when I’m on break or something. You know, you’re
going to law school and you can’t fal behind.”

“It’s just a weekend, sweetheart,” he said with a nervous laugh. “Or, don’t you want
us to…you know…again?”

“Sex, Dustin. Sex. We had sex. And more than once. You don’t have to dance
around the word,” I said. Shame hovered over me and I immediately regretted my
words. It wasn’t his fault that I’d betrayed him and it wasn’t his fault that at that
very moment, I was thinking about Lucas.

“Sorry,” he mumbled.

“No,” I said softly, taking his hand. “I am. I’m tired and not feeling wel ,” I claimed.
It was partial y true. “Why don’t you cal me tomorrow and we can do brunch before
you drive back to school?”

Smiling, he captured my lips in his usual sweet kiss – the kind I loved. They lacked
the passion and heat that Lucas’s kisses contained but they made up for it with
sweet charm. “I love you, Irelyn.”

“I love you, too,” I said before slipping out of the car. I raced inside and up to my
room, shutting the door quietly. I curled up on my bed and al owed the tears to
flow, hoping to wash away my shame.

Once I finished, I crept to the downstairs bathroom to wash my face. I sank to the
floor with my cel phone, opening it slowly. I searched through the numbers,
wondering who in my meager list of friends I should cal . I didn’t think Bailey would
be particularly sympathetic and I was certain Morgan would load me up with moral
crap.

I stopped when I found his number. I closed my eyes, angry that he’d had the
audacity to program his number in my phone – but I was more amused. I
wondered…

Hitting the number, I pressed the phone to my ear. He answered with a laugh in
his voice. “Did you ditch the boyfriend already? Looking to meet up with me now?”

“No,” I said, regretting my impulse. “I meant to cal him but hit your number instead.
Big mistake.” Take that, I thought.

“Sure, love, no problem.”

I waited for him to say something else or to beg me to meet him somewhere but
he didn’t say a word.

“Um, are you stil at the club?”

“No, actual y, I’m driving home. Want me to stop by and pick you up?”

“Not particularly,” I said, grinning.

“So I’m just your Friday night thing, huh? No Saturdays al owed?”

“My Saturdays are pretty booked up right now,” I teased, enjoying the banter.
“Sorry about your luck.”

“Me, too,” he sighed. “Especial y when you wear little black numbers like you did
tonight.”

“Oh, you liked it, did you?” I said, heart lightening. I drew my knees to my chin.

“Why do you think I’m heading home already? I need to take matters in my own
hand – if you know what I mean – after the cold shower.” A furiously red blush
engulfed my entire body and I was glad he couldn’t see it. I shivered as I imagined
him in the shower – and me with him. Suddenly, a cold shower sounded good.
“Wel , do what you have to do.”

He chuckled. “Yeah, I wil . And I’l moan your name. Goodnight, Irelyn. See you
Friday.” He hung up before I could confirm or deny if I’d be there. But we both
knew I would.

Chapter 5

I was sprawled on my stomach on my bed Sunday night, books open, intending on
catching up with a couple assignments that were due that week when Bailey
breezed into the room. She lifted a knowing brow at me and plopped on the sofa,
immediately picking up the remote control.

I tried my best to ignore her as she flipped through the channels but it was like her
smirk was plastered on every single page of my text book. I sighed and slammed it
shut, resting my chin on my fists.

“What?” I asked.

She lifted a shoulder, eyes on the television, creepy smile on her face. “Nothing.”

“You’re lying,” I said.

“Perhaps.”

Groaning, I slid off the bed, strode over to her, and ripped the control er out of her
hand. “What?”

“You’re getting in real y deep, aren’t you?” she asked, final y turning her attention
on me.

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“What happened Saturday night after you cal ed me?” she asked.

“Nothing. I faked a headache,” I murmured as I returned to my bed. “After Lucas
decided to introduce himself to Dustin.” She laughed – hard and long – until tears
leaked from her eyes. I shook my head in disgust as I tried to find the page I’d
been on before she interrupted me.

“I’m glad you find my love life so amusing,” I said, scanning the words in my book.
“I nearly had a heart attack.” Her laughter ended in a series of very unladylike
snorts. “Sorry, but you have to admit it is funny.” I glared at her until she held up
her hands in surrender.

“So, what did Dustin say?”

It was my turn to smirk as I sat up and curled my legs underneath my body.

“Wel , Lucas introduced himself as a friend of yours and Dustin assumed that you
were sleeping with him.” She laughed again, but this bout didn’t last as long.
“Honey, if you weren’t doing him, I certainly wouldn’t mind.” That jealous rage fil ed
my stomach and I tried to keep it from seeping onto my face. It was difficult.

“Relax, Irelyn,” she said softly. “There is no way in hel I’d ever do that to you. Ever.
I may be a bitch but I’m also a friend.” I softened and nodded, nibbling on my lip. “I
know. Oh, hel . I shouldn’t react that way. What right do I have?”

“Hey, the only law concerning monogamy pertains to marriage and since you’re
not married…”

“Yeah, but, Dustin is the one who is going to be hurt.” I pul ed my legs out from
under my body and leaned against the wal . “Lucas only wants me in his bed. He
wouldn’t care if I ended it.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure about that,” Bailey said as she contemplated her nails. “I
think he’d miss you.” I snorted this time. “He’d have a replacement in a matter of
minutes.”

“It’s your delusional world – you can make up the rules,” she muttered as she
grabbed the remote. “But I think you’re wrong.” The conversation was obviously
over as she focused on the news and didn’t spare me another look. I returned to
my books but her words echoed in my brain. Would Lucas miss me? Perhaps - but
not like Dustin would. Lucas and I weren’t real y anything – just a …fling. Right?

***

I dressed careful y and modestly before leaving my dorm Wednesday night to
drive to my grandparents’ house. Once a month they demanded that I dine at their
house so they could talk to me about my education and my future. I didn’t exactly
enjoy these evenings but they weren’t unbearable, either.

Their maid, an older, plump woman, led me to the formal dining room where my
grandparents were already seated at the long table. Frowning, I glanced at my
watch. I wasn’t late.

“You’re right on time, Irelyn,” Grandfather said from the head of the table. He
nodded at the chair on his left and I sat primly. Grandmother sat across from me,
solemn expression on her face.

I folded my hands on my lap and smiled. “Good evening.”

“Irelyn,” Grandmother said with an inclination of her head. “How are your studies?”

“Fine. I’m doing quite wel . I think I’ve adjusted to col ege and have been
considering adding another class next term.”

“Wonderful,” Grandfather said with a manufactured smile. “I’m very happy to hear
this. I’ve received excel ent reports about you from Dean Masters. He said you are
a mature, responsible young lady and your professors enjoy having you in class.” I
knew he would have Dean Masters spy on me – Dean Masters and my
grandfather were old buddies from farther back than even I knew. Stil , it irked me
that he wanted me to live on my own in the dorms but had someone keep an eye
on me like I was a child.

“That’s a relief to hear,” I said.

“What do you plan to do with your degree?” Grandmother asked.

I refrained from shrugging – they certainly wouldn’t approve. “I’m not sure yet. I
thought about teaching or writing, but it is stil a long way away.” Grandfather
tented his fingers under his chin and nodded as the kitchen staff began hauling in
dishes. “It’s never too soon to think about your future.” My gut clenched as a
thought occurred to me. They wanted something from me tonight. I couldn’t
imagine what that would be – they already had me under their thumb because of
the whole tuition thing.

“Yes, I know,” I said. “Perhaps I’l speak to an advisor about it,” I said, hoping to
placate them.

“Dean Masters would be happy to guide you – as a personal favor to me,”

Grandfather said as he signaled for the kitchen staff to leave. He picked up a fork
and, fol owing his cue and began to eat; Grandmother and I began to eat. “Cal his
office tomorrow and make an appointment.”

“Yes, sir,” I said as I nibbled on my salad.

“Have you been able to spend much time with Dustin since school started?”
Grandmother asked.

I fought tooth and nail to keep a blush off my face. I didn’t want to clue them in at
al about how horrible my love life was at that moment. “Yes. We went out after
dinner Saturday night and had brunch Sunday afternoon.”

“He is a nice young man,” Grandfather said, approval dripping from his voice.
“Excel ent family, too.”

“I know,” I concurred. “He is a perfect gentleman, also.”

“He’d better be,” Grandfather said with a furrowed brow. “I’l not have any young
man treating you as if you were a toy. We don’t need you to end up like your
mother and ruin your life.”

I could only nod. It was no use arguing with him – he always won.

“Martin Summerlin came to see me yesterday,” Grandfather continued. Martin, of
course, was Dustin’s father. “He said that Dustin is determined to marry you.”

My heart plunged to my toes but I managed to keep my feelings masked. “Wel ,
Dustin hasn’t said anything to me about it.” Grandmother smiled across the table
at me. “Perhaps he was hoping to surprise you.” She shot a dark glance at her
husband. “And perhaps you shouldn’t have said anything.”

“Nonsense,” Grandfather said. “She has a right to know – it is her life. And if she is
not ready for marriage, then she should have time to think about it and prepare.”

“I’m not ready,” I said, panic in my heart. No, not at al . Hel , I couldn’t even decide
what to do about the lover I didn’t want. Okay, I wanted him, but I shouldn’t have
him. Now I find out Dustin is contemplating marriage? Already?

“I understand,” he said. “But, an engagement is not unheard of – especial y in this
day and age. I see no reason why, should he ask, you couldn’t accept and
become engaged. A wedding doesn’t have to occur right away.”

I swal owed a chunk of tomato and nodded, my eyes watering. I picked up the
napkin in my lap to dab at my eyes. “Excuse me,” I said and sipped my water,
washing down the tomato.

“Are you alright, dear?” Grandmother asked.

“Yes. I didn’t slice my food properly,” I explained. I spread my napkin across my
lap and pushed my salad plate away. Grandmother smiled her approval –

she hated to see a woman clean her plate.

When Grandfather changed the subject, I final y relaxed. We finished dinner and
retired to the luxurious sitting room where we had coffee. Grandfather told me
about his latest business ventures and I pretended that I understood – and that I
cared.

Grandmother fil ed me in on al the gossip concerning the girls I’d gone to high
school with – again like I cared. Apparently, one of them was pregnant and that
announcement rocked the bridge club that congregated at Whispering Winds. I
feigned the appropriate amount of shock and disgust as Grandmother described
how horrified this girl’s family was. I wondered how horrified the girl was and if the
boy would stick beside her. Obviously, her family wouldn’t.

As nine o’clock approached, Grandfather ordered his maid to fetch my coat. My
grandparents walked me to the door and each pecked my cheek in what they
thought was grandparent affection. I accepted it, thanked them for dinner, and fled.

***

I didn’t mention the discussion with my grandparents to anyone – not even my
mother when she cal ed to find out how dinner had gone. I kept it to myself,
wondering if Dustin real y planned on proposing. Only a month ago I would have
been thril ed. But now…

I changed into my pajamas, washed my face, cleaned my teeth, and prepared for
bed. Bailey was reading a book and Morgan was knitting something that looked
suspiciously like a scarf.

I politely answered their questions about dinner, proclaimed exhaustion, and
escaped to bed.

I tossed and turned that night and every night after until Friday dawned bright and
chil y. November had barged in crisp and cold, forcing me to bundle up as I rushed
to classes.

Bailey texted me during my English class to ask if I was going to Rusty’s. I told her
I was – how could I not?

When I met her at the dorm later, I asked her what her text had been about.

“Because,” she said, grabbing my arm and forcing me to the sofa. “Amber Gordon
was talking shit in class about how she had a date with Lucas tonight after the
show.”

My face fel to my shoes as my heart ached in my chest. “She does?”

“I don’t know,” Bailey said. “The girl talks so much shit I never know what’s true
and what’s not.” She pursed her lips, her eyes narrowed. I watched her careful y,
waiting for her to give me some grand idea as Morgan came in and dropped her
books.

“What’s the matter?” she asked, her wide eyes worried.

“Amber Gordon told me she had a date with Lucas Newton tonight after his show,”
Bailey said. The words didn’t hurt any less when she said them for the second
time.

“Oh,” Morgan said as she sat on the coffee table. “Wel , he should be al owed to
date, huh? I mean, Irelyn has a boyfriend.” That hurt more. “Of course you’re
right,” I muttered, my eyes itching with tears.

“Oh, for heaven’s sake, just cal him,” Bailey said. “Damn. Just cal and ask him.”
My heart thumped. Yes, I would cal him. “How do I ask him?”

“Just open your mouth and let the question come out,” Bailey said impatiently.

Digging my phone out of my bag, I turned away from them as I hit Lucas’s number
and waited for him to answer. I hung up when I got his voice mail.

“Voice mail,” I mumbled. I dropped my phone on the table and plopped on the
sofa. “Wel , you know what? I’m just going to go down there and see for myself.”

Grinning, Bailey slapped me a hi-five. “That a girl. Fight for your man. Wel , for one
of them.” I rol ed my eyes at her as I contemplated my wardrobe. I fingered the
black dress hanging in the closet but decided to save it for another occasion. I
didn’t even chide myself for thinking that because I knew it would do no good.
There would be other occasions. At least for now.

I decided on jeans and a button up shirt with a cami underneath. Not the sexiest
thing but it would have to do. I didn’t want to look desperate.

We arrived early and took our usual table. I ordered a vodka and cranberry juice
right away. Laughing, Bailey hugged me.

As soon as Lucas arrived, my body awoke. Every nerve jumped, every cel flipped,
every internal organ bounced. A sexy smirk toyed on his lips as he helped his
band mates set up for the show. I took it as a sign that he knew I was there.

Once they’d set up, al three of them approached our table and drew up chairs.
Scooting his chair between mine and Morgan’s, Lucas draped a casual arm
behind me.

“Ladies,” Col in said, his eyes so like Lucas’s my heart jittered. “I’m beginning to
think that you’re groupies.” Leaning back in her chair, Bailey gave a derisive snort.
“Nah, this is the only bar around that wil serve us alcohol.” Spencer laughed,
holding his bel y as his eyes remained on Bailey. “Oh, you’re a pistol, aren’t you
darling?” She lowered her lids as her lips slipped into a smile. “Want to shoot me
and find out?” I rol ed my eyes and turned my head in time to catch Lucas gazing
at me, desire evident on his face. My bottom lips quivered as I longed for him to
just take me in his arms, carry me to the mop water-smel ing, filthy-floored storage
room, and have his way with me.

I wanted to ask him about Amber but I just couldn’t open my mouth. Bailey kicked
the leg of my chair but I ignored it as I continued to gaze at Lucas.

“So, speaking of groupies,” Bailey said, kicking my chair once more. I reluctantly
turned my head away from Lucas to look at her. “You guys have quite the fol
owing at our school.”

“Is that so?” Col in asked, eyes amused.

“Yep,” Bailey said nonchalantly. “As a matter of fact, one of the girls in my class
was bragging about having a date with one of you tonight.” Col in choked out a
laugh. “It ain’t me. I’m grabbing a pizza and a case of beer after the show.”
Grinning wolfishly at Bailey, Spencer scooted his chair closer to her. “I could have
one tonight – if you just say the word.”

“Please,” Bailey said as she turned her shoulder on him. She raised a brow at
Lucas but before he could answer, the bartender shouted at them.

Lucas kissed my temple as my heart slowly crumbled. He fol owed his brother and
his cousin to the stage as I motioned for the waitress to bring us another round.

Halfway through their first set, Bailey nudged me and nodded at a curvy redhead
who sashayed her way toward the dance floor. She stood off to the side, near the
stage, flirtatious smile on her lips.

“That’s Amber,” Bailey shouted in my ear. Like I hadn’t guessed.

I watched her more than I watched Lucas and I hated that little slut more with
every passing minute. She was dressed in a short skirt, high-heeled leather boots,
and a tight tank pul ed over a cami. Sometimes she just stood, bopping along with
the music but other times she danced provocatively with her friends.

I fumed but remained silent. I didn’t need to speak, anyway, because Morgan and
Bailey knew how I was feeling. Morgan patted my leg several times while Bailey
glared murderously at Amber.

When the show ended, I remained in my seat. Bailey fetched us al another drink
while I watched Lucas and the others take down the drums and pack up their
equipment. When they finished, Amber approached the stage and attracted
Lucas’s attention. Jumping off the stage, he just stood with his arms crossed as he
listened to what she had to say. My heart alternated – one second it burned in fury
and the next it shattered in pain. I couldn’t decide what I should do or even what I
wanted to do.

Lucas disappeared, leaving Amber standing near the stage, making me wonder if
he was packing up his truck and she was waiting for him. I took a long drink just as
my cel rang. Locating my phone at the bottom of my bag, my heart lifted when
Lucas’s name appeared.

“What?” I snapped.

He chuckled. “I ditched your friend, Amber. Meet me out front. I’l pick you up.” He
hung up as I gaped, my eyes darting from Amber to the front door and back again.
Clutching my phone, I looked at my friends. “He’s, um, going to pick me up out
front.”

Bailey snorted, her eyes ful of glee. “Wel , what are you waiting for?”

I smiled and shot out of my seat. “See you in the morning.”

He opened the truck door and I slipped inside, my hands al over him. He returned
my eager kisses momentarily before easing me back. “Buckle the lap belt and let’s
get out of here.”

I did as he asked, resting my hand on his thigh. My heart was singing a sweet
victory song as my eyes drank in every inch of him.

As soon as we entered the house, I dropped my bag and jumped on him. He
laughed in my mouth as he set me on my feet. “Hold on, can you? I’d like to take a
quick shower.”

“Fine,” I pouted. He kissed my jutted bottom lip before disappearing into his room.
Bored, I fol owed. He grinned at me as he pushed open the bathroom door.

He raised a brow and nodded at the bed. “You can wait there for me if you’d like.”
He entered the bathroom and shut the door.

A blazing lust burned in my groin as I stood frozen. I heard the water start and
then the shower. Breaking out of my trance, I began to strip – I wasn’t waiting.

Steam poured into the bedroom as I opened the bathroom door. His voice echoed
off the wal s as he sang an old Eagles song I recognized. I smiled, my face
softening. It was sweet – almost boyish – and it made my heart warm.

Peeking behind the curtain, I grinned as I watched him duck his head under the
stream of water, rivulets flowing down the muscles in his back. I jumped at the
opportunity and climbed in behind him. Once I snaked my arms around his waist,
he started and twirled, eyes wide.

A crinkly-eyed smile lit up his face as I ran my hands up his soapy chest and
connected them behind his head.

“Were you feeling a little dirty, love?” he asked. I only smiled.

He pecked my lips as he gripped my hips and hoisted me off my feet. I wrapped
my legs around his waist and our position spurred my desire and jolted my heart.
His lips captured mine causing me to moan in his mouth. Ripping my lips away
from his, I begged him to take me. He obliged as he pushed me against the
shower wal . The water soaked his head and trickled down his face, the misty
spray cooling my overheated body.

As we each approached our peak, he withdrew and set me careful y on my feet
before reaching behind him to shut off the water. My groggy mind whirled, trying to
figure out why he’d stop now.

“What do you think you’re doing?” I demanded.

He yanked a towel off the rack, wrapped it around my body, and then lifted me
once more. Carrying me to his bedroom, he dropped me on the bed. He crawled
over me, grinning. “Condom, baby.” He kissed me then reached for the box on his
nightstand. His hands trembled as he tore at the wrapper. I ripped it out of his
hands impatiently and removed the condom.

“Let me,” I ordered.

“Oh, no. If you touch me there, it wil al be over,” he said and I delighted to see a
slight tint on his cheeks.

I fel back to the bed while he put on the condom and waited for him to continue.
When he returned to me, he kissed me, reigniting my passion. It didn’t take long
until we were side by side, gasping and wheezing.

“You never fail to amaze me,” he mumbled.

My heart thril ed. I snuggled into his side as he wrapped an arm around me. I let
my heart match rhythm with his as they both slowed to normal.

Reaching up, he turned out the light next to the bed. He kissed the top of my
head. “Damn, you wore me out tonight.” I lifted my head, straining to see his face
in the dark. “Wussing out on me already?” He chuckled. “Yep.”

With courage I never had before, I slid on top of him, kissing him briefly before
dragging my mouth down his throat and his chest to his stomach. Nipping at his
skin, I moved lower, drawing a gasp from him. I smiled in satisfaction and moved
on, doing something I’d never in my life done before. As I fumbled my way
through, I spotted his fists clutching the sheets as his body tensed.

“Irelyn,” he croaked in a tight voice. I took that as my cue. I quickly grabbed
another condom before I slipped on top of him. He grabbed my hips as though
clinging for his life. It was quick and wonderful and oh so satisfying and when I fel
to his chest, he held me tighter than before.

After a couple minutes, he eased us both to our sides and kissed me tenderly.
“Wow.” I smiled, grateful for the dark so he couldn’t see my blush. “Real y?”

He chuckled. “Yeah.”

“I’ve…um…never done that before.”

He froze and I frowned, wondering what I said wrong. As he thawed, he stroked
my cheek. “Wel , you are a truly amazing woman.” And you bring out the animal in
me,” I laughed. His laughter intermingled with mine as he pul ed me closer and
kissed me.

“Sleep, love.”

And I did.

Chapter 6

A thump fol owed by low voices jerked me out of sleep. My eyes popped open with
a blink, trying to gather my wits and figure out where the hel I was. A soft snore on
my left reminded me Lucas was sleeping next to me. I sat up to glance at his
clock. The red numbers blared 3:34 AM and I lowered my body to the bed. Just as
I snuggled into Lucas, I heard the voices again. I bolted upright, pressing the
blankets to my naked chest as my heart thumped in fear.

I shook Lucas with one hand. “Luke, wake up, please,” I whispered in the dark. He
snorted and tossed an arm over my lap. “Lucas. Please,” I said desperately.

“Huh?” he mumbled sleepily.

“Luke,” I said as I bent closer to his face. “I think someone is in your apartment.”

“What?”

“Someone is here,” I told him.

Sitting up, he pressed a finger to my lips. The laughing voices sent a chil up my
spine but Lucas just chuckled. “It’s my brother, love. He lives here, too, you know.”

My heart didn’t slow but it did heave a sigh of relief. “Your brother?” I repeated.

“Yeah,” he said as he kissed me clumsily. He slid his legs off the bed and rifled
around on the floor. “Shit. I left my clothes in the bathroom.” The bed gave as he
got up to pad across the floor. I could hear him open drawers. “What are you
doing?”

“Going to see if they have food. I’m starved.”

My jaw fel in amazement. “Luke, it’s like three in the morning.”

He returned to sit on the edge of the bed. “Yeah, and I’m starved. You gave me
quite the workout, you animal. Come on, I’l get you something to wear.” He turned
on the light and I flinched, shading my eyes. He tossed a t-shirt and a pair of
sweatpants at me. I narrowed my eyes at him, not yet able to open them ful y.

“Put those on.” He kissed me. “It wil turn me on to know you’re wearing my clothes
with nothing on under them.” That real y motivated me. Anything that turned him
on seemed to have the same effect on me. I hurriedly pul ed his t-shirt over my
head and slipped his sweats on – rol ing the waist band so I didn’t trip over the
legs.

Taking my hand once I was dressed, he led me into the kitchen. Col in and

Spencer sat at the table cramming pizza in their mouths and washing it down with
beer.

“Did you save some for us?” Lucas asked as he eased me into a chair. He sat
beside me, keeping hold of my hand.

“Not for you but maybe a slice for the lady,” Col in said as he shot me a wink. I
rewarded him with a smile. I was a little hungry myself.

Lucas cursed them both as he got up to retrieve plates, a beer for him, and a
bottle of water for me. He dropped a slice on each plate and slid one to me before
attacking his.

“So, Irelyn,” Spencer said with a wolfish grin. “Is your friend, Bailey, dating
anyone?”

“Not seriously,” I said as I took a bite.

“Perfect,” he said with a toothy smile.

I snorted. “She’d eat you up and spit you out.”

Lucas grinned at me and kissed my cheek. But Spencer just sighed. “That’s what
I’m hoping.” Rol ing my eyes, I finished my pizza as Lucas grabbed two more
slices. I shook my head but he just shrugged, shoving half a slice in his mouth. I
smiled fondly at him, his actions not disgusting me but only endearing him more.

“So, Irelyn, I know you’re banging my brother, but do you actual y like our music?”
Col in asked.

My eyes grew as Lucas threw his crust at his brother’s head. “That’s real nice, bro.
Real nice.” I patted Lucas’s thigh to let him know I wasn’t offended. After al , Col in
was being honest. “Yes, I do like your music. It’s a refreshing change.”

“What do you mean?” Spencer asked, a deep furrow in his forehead.

“She’s not much of a music fan,” Lucas muttered. The others gaped at me.

“No,” I struggled to explain. “I wouldn’t say that. I mean, I don’t real y listen to the
modern stuff much. My mom constantly plays classic rock – and eighties rock.
That’s what I grew up on. That’s what I know.”

“Oh,” Col in said, relief in his voice. “Wel , that’s cool.”

“So, you know al the old stuff,” Lucas said with admiration in his eyes. “The real
stuff.” I lifted a shoulder. “I guess.” They continued to stare so I felt obligated to

add something to my statement. “I do like music. I like the Eagles,” I said, shooting
Lucas a secretive look. He got my drift and returned my look. “And I like
Aerosmith, Def Leppard, stuff like that.”

“What’s your favorite old song,” Lucas asked, genuinely interested.

I thought for a second and remembered the song my mom always sang while
doing the dishes – a dreamy look in her eyes. It was a great song that always
stirred a weird longing inside of me – a song about how the love of a woman
changed a man’s tortured life. “Wel , it’s a real y old song – you probably don’t
know it.”

“Lay it on us,” Col in chal enged.

I smiled sheepishly as I told them the song.

“Great tune,” Spencer agreed. “Good choice.”

“Do you guys play it?” I asked, imagining Lucas on stage crooning the song.

“No,” Col in said. “We do cover songs but we’ve never done that one.”

I didn’t mind the topic of discussion but the more they talked, the more I was
delighted by their accents. “Um, where are you guys from? I mean, I love your
accents.”

“Yeah, most girls do,” Spencer bragged.

Col in punched him playful y. “Australia, darling. Near Sydney.”

“Oh?” I asked, interest peaked. “You’re from Australia?”

Lucas squeezed my hand under the table. “Our mother is Aussie but our dad is
American. We were born here but when we were three, Dad took a job in
Australia. We lived there until we were like fourteen then we returned to the U.S.”

“And you Spencer?” I asked.

“I was born in Australia and when these idiots moved back here, my mother
decided to fol ow. My father died when I was young and my mother wanted to be
near her sister.” He smiled. “My mother and their mother are sisters.”

“Oh, cool,” I said. And it was. “I’ve always wanted to go to Australia,” I sighed.

“You should go,” Lucas said. “It’s beautiful.”

I wanted to say that if a woman from their country could produce someone as
beautiful as him, then the country must be fantastic. But I bit my tongue. No need
to embarrass myself.

“How about you?” Col in asked. His eyes were so warm and so like his brother’s.
And to think I’d once feared his eyes – terrified that I’d see judgment in them.
There was none. “Where are you from?”

Snorting, I took Lucas’s beer bottle and drained it. “Born and raised in Dalefield.”

“You live with your parents?” Col in prodded.

My heart stil ed. I didn’t want to get into it because I didn’t want to see pity in their
eyes. But as I glanced around the table, I didn’t think they would pity me.

They weren’t like Dustin’s friends – my parentage wouldn’t be a scandal. So, I just
let loose.

“I live with my mother and my little cousin. Um, my father – wel , your guess is as
good as mine but I do know he loved eighties music too. Hel , for al I know my
father is Jon Bon Jovi or Steven Tyler. At any rate, my mom has the candidates
narrowed down to three of four. Possibly five.” I smiled sarcastical y and
continued. Why not? I was on a rol . “My mother’s parents are loaded and think
my mother is a disgrace. They final y noticed me when I made principal’s honor rol
al throughout elementary and middle school. That’s when they decided to put me
in a private high school and pay for my col ege. My mother’s house is exactly
nineteen minutes from my col ege campus but my grandparents insist I live in the
dorms. They think that if I’m away from my mother, I’l turn into a refined young
lady.” I snorted and kissed Lucas on the mouth. “So much for that, huh?” The
pregnant pause nearly kil ed me until they al three laughed. I had to join them
because real y, my life was a big joke. Lucas put an arm around me and pul ed me
closer.

“What’s the deal with the little cousin?” Lucas asked.

I sighed and smiled. “My mother’s older sister is worse than my mother. She just
dumped her son on us a few years ago and my mother raises him. He has…
needs but he is a sweet, wonderful boy and I love him like he was my own.”

Lucas looked at me – real y looked at me. Then he smiled and it was genuine.
“Sounds like you have a wonderful family.” I couldn’t believe it. A smile I had no
control over spread across my lips. “We are.” Col in shifted uncomfortably in his
chair drawing my attention away from Lucas’s beautiful face. He smiled
apologetical y at me as he tossed a folded scrap of paper on the table. “Look, I

know you two have some sort of arrangement and that’s cool.” He winked at me
and I automatical y loved him. He knew everything but he wasn’t judging. “Um,
that Amber girl, she gave me her number to give to you, Luke and you do with it
what you want. I’m giving it to you now because I won’t hide stuff and you know
that.”

“I know man,” Lucas said. He made no attempt to grab it and shove it in his pocket
or rip it up. And that bugged me. But I tried to ignore it.

“So, Irelyn,” Spencer said in an attempt to disperse the tension. “Talk to Bailey,
huh?”

“Of course,” I said as I patted his hand. “But watch it – she’l break your heart.”

“I’m real y hoping she does,” he said with a sigh. I laughed and it turned into a
yawn.

“Okay, fel as, I’m putting Irelyn to bed. See you in the morning,” Lucas announced.
Getting up from the table, I waved at them.

“Thanks,” I said.

Once Lucas led me to his bedroom, he tucked me in his bed. He scooted next to
me and kissed me softly. “Goodnight, love,” he whispered.

“Goodnight,” I said as I cuddled into him.

***

His lips lingered over mine when he parked in front of my dorm and I was just as
reluctant to let him go. “We’re playing at a club downtown tonight,” he murmured
between kisses. “In case you get bored.” Edging back, I nodded, my eyes on the
floorboards. I wanted to go see him but I had a standing dinner date with the
grandparents. And Dustin. “Um, I have to have dinner tonight with my family,” I
explained.

He lifted my chin and grinned, eyes crinkling in the corners. “Don’t sweat it, love. I
just thought if you didn’t have anything to do…”

“I can’t,” I said, distressed.

He lifted a nonchalant shoulder. “Okay. Wel , I’l see you Friday, then.”

“Sure,” I said as I tried to smile. I pecked him on the lips and escaped to my dorm.

***

Dustin was preoccupied al throughout dinner but I barely noticed. Al I could think
about was what club Lucas was playing at and would Amber Gordon be there.
“So, Wil amina,” my grandmother said as we tucked into our dessert. “When wil
Thomas be ready for his first recital?”

“Wel ,” Mom responded, twirling her pudding spoon on the table. “I’m not sure,
exactly. Mrs. Freeport hasn’t said. Thomas has only been taking lessons a couple
of weeks. He’s not even through al his scales yet.”

“But he is a prodigy,” Grandfather declared. “He shouldn’t waste his time with
scales and beginner’s lessons.” Grandfather huffed as he set his spoon aside.

“Perhaps it’s time we take over his schooling. I have a friend on the board at
Torrison’s School of the Arts. I’l speak to him and see if we can’t enrol Thomas
next semester.”

“But,” I objected. “He likes his school. He has friends and he’s doing wel .”

“Irelyn, this doesn’t concern you,” Grandfather admonished. “We’ve always taken
a hand in your education since your mother can’t.” I burned with white fury. It
scorched my stomach, my liver, my lungs, everything. I wanted to stand up and
shout at them – put them in their place as they had just done to my mother. But I
didn’t. I ducked my head over my pudding as Dustin took my hand under the table.
He gave it a squeeze and I peeked at him. He smiled in understanding. I loved
him.

After dinner, Dustin drove me home to change before taking me to a movie. He
draped an arm around me as we watched the film, though I don’t think either of us
real y saw it. My mind was stil on my grandparents’ insistence on interfering in
Tommy’s life while his was…elsewhere.

That night, as I stared at my ceiling with the blankets tucked neatly around my
body, I wondered if I was so self-centered that I didn’t even bother finding out what
was bothering Dustin. Yes, I was concerned with Tommy’s future and what a
school change would do to him, but Dustin needed me, too.

With a heavy sigh, I got up and found my phone. My heart gave a little flutter when
he answered.

“Hey, Irelyn,” he said. “Are you okay?”

“Dustin, I’m so sorry,” I began. “Something was obviously on your mind tonight and
I didn’t even bother to talk to you about it.” He chuckled in my ear, drawing a smile
to my face. “It’s nothing, sweetheart, I promise. I’m worrying over a couple
decisions I have to make.”

“What decisions?” I persisted. “Can I help?”

“No, but I appreciate it,” he said softly. “Actual y, just you cal ing to check on me
helps immensely. Get some sleep and we’l get together tomorrow before I drive
back.”

“Okay,” I said, stil slightly worried.

“I love you, Irelyn,” he whispered.

“I love you, too,” I said. I closed my phone and my eyes, wondering if I loved him
as much as he loved me.

***

“Mom,” I asked the next morning as I sat at the table, watching her dance around
the kitchen. Her portable CD player sat on the counter, volume low, with one of her
mixed CD’s playing. In the living room, melodic music floated in the air as Tommy
practiced songs from one of his music books. “Yes, dear?” Mom asked with a
smile. “Something wrong?”

“Have you ever been in love?” I asked.

Her smile softened. “Oh, once.”

Pul ing out a chair, she joined me, dreamy expression in her eyes. “He formed the
first garage band that I was in. His name was Lonnie Campbel and he was so
handsome. He was three years older than me, tal with strong shoulders and long
hair. Long hair was sexy back in my day,” she said with an adorable smirk. I
laughed. “He loved me, too, and I think, if things had worked out a little better, that
I would have married him.”

“What happened?” I whispered, mesmerized by this side of my mother.

“Oh,” she said with a wave of her hand. “My parents didn’t approve. I broke up
with him and he moved to Chicago after he graduated to try to make a go of his
band.” She sighed but the soft smile remained on her face. “It hurt and final y, I
decided that I didn’t need my parents’ approval. I quit school and took off that
summer to live my life.”

“Do you regret anything?” I asked.

Her eyes warmed as she gazed at me. “Maybe a few things.” She straightened
and furrowed her brow. “Is something wrong with you and Dustin?” It was on the
tip of my tongue to release everything – to open the proverbial floodgates and tel
her what I’d been up to lately. But I didn’t. I wasn’t ready to solve my problem. I
wanted both of them stil and even though I knew I was being selfish, at least I was
being honest with myself.

“No, not at al ,” I said, trying hard to reassure. “Just curious.”

She patted my hand before getting to her feet. “When you’re in love with
someone, I mean real y in love, you’l know. I’m sure you’ve heard that before and
probably don’t believe it – but it’s true.”

“Thanks, Mom,” I said as I heard Dustin knock on the door. “I love you, I know that
much.” She hugged me and kissed my head. “And I love you, sweetie.”

***

I curled up on my bed with a notebook, pen and a story floating in my head. As
soon as the tip of my pen touched the paper, the story flowed smoothly. I loved to
write – perhaps because I could play God and manipulate the lives of my
characters. I could make them writers or lawyers or rock stars. I could make them
happy or sad or just plain stupid. I couldn’t seem to control my own life but I could
certainly control the lives of the people I created.

This story would be happy, though. This story would be about a free-spirited,
pretty girl who loved a boy so desperately but had to set him free so he could
pursue his dreams of becoming a rock star. She stayed behind like an obedient
daughter and attended col ege but thought of him often. Years later, she’d attend
his concert – front row tickets of course – and he’d see her. He’d have her taken
backstage where they would reunite and final y get their happily ever after.

I grinned at the cheesiness of the story as I closed my notebook hours later. So
what? Mom final y got her happy ending.

I shut off the light and closed my eyes, wishing I could write my own story. But how
would it go? Who would win? Who would lose? Who would get hurt?

Who would live happily ever after? Would the heroine get the man of her dreams
or would she settle for something else?

Groaning, I forced the thoughts out of my head. I was getting to be an expert at
procrastinating and it didn’t sit wel with me. I needed to just take the time to figure
everything out. I opened my eyes to flip on the light. I dug out my notebook and
made a list of my current problems – Lucas taking the number one position. Dustin
came next fol owed by Tommy.

I chewed on the end of my pen as I glanced at my list. I’d figured out what my
problems were – now what?

I slammed the notebook shut and tossed it across the room, the pen fol owing. I
felt total y ridiculous. So I’d made a list? How the hel was that supposed to help?

I had to return to school in the morning and it was the last week before
Thanksgiving break. I needed to focus on my studies and leave the personal
problems for my spare time. I had to procrastinate – it was necessary. I had to
clear my mind to make room for my education. I’d spend the break sorting though
the mess I cal ed my life.

With that decided, I turned out the light again and snuggled under the blankets. As
I drifted off, both Dustin and Lucas floated in my mind.

Chapter 7

Tuesday evening, I sat at the computer I shared with my roommates and added a
few, finishing touches to an essay for my English class. Just as I was printing it
out, Bailey and Morgan burst in the room, laughing, their cheeks rosy red from the
chil y air.

“Grab your coat, Irelyn,” Morgan ordered. “We’re going to the rec room to hang
out.”

“Why?” I asked as I col ected the pages the printer spit at me. “What’s going on?”
Bailey laughed, her eyes shining. “Amber Gordon said she was going – she wants
to play pool with a couple of her friends and we want to hear al about her date with
Lucas Newton.”

My brows shot to my hairline as I gawked at them, pages spil ing to the floor.
“Why?” Bailey strol ed casual y across the room and patted my head as though I
were a cute puppy. Her eyes narrowed as she smiled cruel y. “Because I don’t like
her and I want to throw it in her face that she’s a liar. Now, get your coat and come
with us.” I couldn’t help but be enticed by the idea – I real y wanted to see the girl

put in her place. I col ected my essay and placed it in a folder. After I located my
shoes under my bed, I pul ed them on while Morgan held my coat.

Once we entered the rowdy rec room, Bailey made a beeline for the pool tables. I
fol owed a little less confidently, towing Morgan behind me. We sat at a table and
watched the matches in progress. I only knew the basics of pool and wasn’t very
good at it though I had played a few times on the table at the pub where Mom
worked. I was able to figure out who was winning and managed to get lost in a
game until Bailey elbowed me and pointed at the door.

Amber Gordon strol ed inside accompanied by one of her friends. She was pretty
– she had her light red hair pul ed in a pony tail and tight jeans showing off her
curvy figure. Her breasts were as large as Bailey’s and she displayed them
prominently under her tight sweater.

She waggled her fingers at Bailey as she made her way to our table. “Are you
waiting for a table?”

“Nah,” Bailey said. “We were bored so we thought we’d hang out.”

“Good, because I bet Hol y that I could wipe the table with her,” Amber said,
grinning at her friend. “You guys can cheer me on.” When a soft snort escaped my
body, Morgan kicked me. I turned my snort into a cough when Amber’s green eyes
fel on me. I smiled apologetical y.

“Sorry – fighting a head cold.”

“I don’t think we’ve met,” she said. “I’m Amber Gordon. And you are?”

“Irelyn Colby. Bailey, Morgan, and I are roommates,” I told her. She eyed me
speculatively before smiling smugly. I ignored it. She had no reason to be smug –
she may have the looks and the body but I had the man.

Amber placed a stack of quarters on a pool table to mark her spot in line before
returning to our table. She sat next to Bailey, motioning for Hol y to pul up a chair.
“I saw you guys at Rusty’s Friday night. Do you like Out Back?”

“Yeah,” Morgan said, glancing nervously at me. “They’re good.”

“I know,” Amber said. She picked at the chipped nail polish on her thumb. “Damn. I
hate this cheap shit nail polish.” Sighing, she dropped her hands.

“Yeah, they are. And so delicious, too.”

My heart perked, preparing for whatever this skank had to say. My fists clenched
under the table but I was busy concentrating on keeping my breathing even.

“Hey, didn’t you say you had a date with Lucas Friday night?” Bailey asked in a
perfectly cool voice. She turned her head slowly to Amber, a semi-interested brow
raised. “I thought you mentioned that in class last week.”

“Oh,” Amber said with an eye rol . “That was a miscommunication on my part. I
didn’t get to go out with him Friday but I did go downtown Saturday to watch him
play at the Horse Shoe Club. We got together after his set.”

My heart splattered against my ribs as jealousy, fury, and pain battled to be the
dominant emotion. My fists clenched tighter, my stubby nails bit into my skin. I
gnawed on the inside of my cheek to prevent my mouth from opening. I absolutely
could not let this girl know that I was seeing Lucas. I didn’t think she knew my
grandparents or Dustin, but I couldn’t take the chance.

Stil , I wanted to punch her in the ful lips and kick her in the gut so she knew
exactly how I was feeling.

Bailey was slightly ruffled. Her careful y control ed mask had slipped and I could
see a little concern and shock in her eyes. “Oh, real y?” she said in an effort to
appear nonchalant. “What did you two do?”

Amber’s painted lips curled into a knowing grin that I did not like at al . “Oh, I’m not
the type to kiss and tel .” Something inside of me snapped and it was Morgan’s
inconspicuous hand on my shoulder that kept me from lunging across the table at
Amber. I clamped my lips shut, sucking oxygen in through my nostrils.

Bailey tensed as she hurried to end the conversation. “Hm, so, I suppose you’l see
him again Friday at Rusty’s, huh?”

“Of course,” she said as a pool table opened up and she rushed to claim it. “He
can’t get enough of me.” She stuck her quarters in the slot while Hol y chose a
pool cue.

I got up and stretched, trying to keep my anger from becoming obvious. I smiled at
Amber’s friend. “Wel , I need to finish my English essay,” I announced to Morgan
and Bailey. “I’l see you two back in the room.”

“I have some reading to finish,” Morgan said. “I’l come with you.”

Shrugging, Bailey joined us.

“Irelyn,” Morgan began as soon as the rec room door shut behind us. “She’s
probably lying. And even if she’s not, you know you have no right to be mad at
him.”

“I’m not mad,” I said, though I didn’t even sound convincing to myself. “Not at al .”

“You are so pissed,” Bailey said with glee. “What are you going to do?”

We made it to our room but instead of taking off my coat, I grabbed my bag and
keys. “I’m going to his house. We’l hash this out once and for al .”

***

My anger surfed a wave of emotion – dancing up and down- the whole way to
Lucas’s house. By the time I parked in front of his place and stormed up to the
porch, I didn’t even know what I was feeling.

I pounded on the door, determined to get answers.

“Come in!” he shouted from inside, setting my heart into orbit.

Pul ing the door open, I stepped shyly inside – my confidence remaining on the
porch.

The living room was smal er than my mother’s with mismatched furniture and a
huge television. Posters of popular bands were taped to the wal s in place of fine
art and photographs.

And Lucas lounged on the sofa, in jeans and a white t-shirt, remote control in
hand, feet propped on the coffee table. Dropping his legs and the remote, he got
to his feet, astonishment in his eyes.

“Irelyn,” he said in surprise.

Col in peeked around the kitchen door and grinned. “Hey, Irelyn. Hungry? I can
heat something up for you before I put al this away.”

“No, thanks,” I said, my hands trembling.

“Suit yourself,” he said as he disappeared back into the kitchen.

Standing in front of me, Lucas unzipped my coat. He removed it from my body and
tossed it on top of a work shirt on a chair. “What’s the matter, love?

Can’t wait until Friday?” His eyes smoldered and it took al I had to control my urge
to slam him against the wal .

“I, um, needed to talk to you,” I said.

“Sure.” Lacing his fingers through mine, he led me to his bedroom.

“Oy, Luke,” Col in shouted from the kitchen, a teasing lilt to his voice. “I replaced
the box you stole from my room. You owe me.”

“Thanks, bro,” Lucas laughed as he pul ed me in his bedroom and kicked the door
shut. He spun to face me, crossing his arms over his chest. His eyes grazed my
body, drinking in my oversized sweatshirt and jeans. “What is it about you that
makes me want you know matter what you wear or how you look?”

I opened my mouth but couldn’t speak. His eyes darkened as he lowered his head
to kiss me. He edged back to grin.

“I didn’t come here to fuck you, Lucas,” I said, hanging on tight to my anger before
it could turn to lust.

“Then why’d you come?” he asked, amused.

“Did you sleep with Amber Gordon Saturday night?” I asked as fire burned in my
eyes.

Chuckling, he placed his hands on my hips. He kissed the spot behind my ear and
dragged his lips along my jaw. “Did you sleep with Dustin Saturday night?”

I shuddered as his lips continued to scorch my skin. “No,” I whispered.

“So,” he said as he tugged my sweatshirt down my shoulder and kissed my neck.
“You’re al owed to date Dustin and do me, but I’m not al owed to do Amber
Gordon?”

“I…”I stuttered. “I don’t know.”

He laughed against my skin, causing my shudders intensify. Arousal claimed my
body and I had a hard time concentrating on the topic of conversation.

“Are we setting rules now?”

Coming to life, my hands clutched his waist. I fumbled with the hem of his t-shirt
and toyed with the waistband of his jeans. “I don’t know.”

“Do you suppose we should figure it out? Or just let things remain the way they
are?” He yanked my sweatshirt over my head and kissed the val ey between my
breasts. Gasping, I jerked away from him.

I folded my arms over my bra, trying to hide. “I don’t know, Lucas,” I said, horrified
by the tears that were blurring my vision.

He touched my cheek, his eyes tender. “Don’t cry, love,” he said and kissed me.
“Sit down, we’l figure this out.” I perched on the edge of his bed as he picked up
my sweatshirt and helped me put it back on. “Lucas, I’m sorry. I have no right to
barge in here and demand to know what you do with other girls when I have a
boyfriend. I’m sorry.” Hugging me to his side, he kissed the top of my head. “I
didn’t sleep with her. She showed up at the club and watched the show. When we
finished, she hung out with us – at our table- that’s al .”

“You don’t have to explain,” I said in a whisper.

“I do,” he said as he tipped my chin, forcing me to look into his eyes. “You’re
obviously upset.” He gave me a crinkly-eyed smile. “And we can’t have that.” I
choked out a little laugh. “I’m fine, real y. I just let my anger get the best of me.”

“I can figure out a better place to release that anger,” he said as his eyes clouded
again. He released my chin to trace my lips. “If you’re game.” But I couldn’t
summon that fire that he usual y started. My heart was out of lighter fluid. I heaved
a deep, regretful breath and shook my head. “I real y should go back to my dorm.”

“Or,” he said as he kissed me. “You could just spend the night here. I have to be to
work early and I can wake you before I leave.” A tiny smile crossed my lips.
“Okay.”

He kissed the top of my head before he got up to fetch a t-shirt from his dresser.
Tossing it to me, I quickly changed and crawled in his bed. When he joined me, I
rested my chin on his chest. “Where do you work?” I asked.

“B & E Warehouse,” he said with a yawn. “Been there since high school. I used to
lug the boxes around but now I’m a foreman.”

“Real y?” I asked. He nodded. “Wow, you’re a boss.”

He laughed. “Wel , I’m just in charge of my department. It’s not like I’m the
supervisor.”

“You wil be,” I said. “You’l be running the whole place in no time.”

“And how do you know that?”

“Because you’re smart,” I said softly. “And wonderful. And I just get the feeling that
you’re a hard worker.” He kissed the tip of my nose. “And what does Irelyn want to
be when she finishes col ege?” I blushed in the dark. “Actual y, I’d like to be a

writer.”

“Real y?” he asked and I nodded. “Hm, like, write books or music or commercial
jingles?” I giggled. “I like to write stories – novel as I guess. I have a couple
notebooks ful .”

“Notebooks? You hand write everything?” he asked in disbelief.

“I don’t have much of a choice. The computer in my dorm is shared and the
computer at my mom’s house is old and slow and in the dining room. When I write,
I like to be in my own little space without feeling like someone is looking over my
shoulder.” I sighed wistful y. “I’m saving up for a laptop but it’s taking a lot of time.
My, um, grandparents give me a monthly al owance and I’m supposed to use it for
meals and school stuff – that sort of thing. But I always tuck some aside every
month.”

“Why don’t you get a job?” he asked.

“My grandparents have forbidden it my first year and since they’re paying for col
ege…” I trailed off. He got the point.

Reaching across me, he set his alarm clock before snuggling into the blankets and
situating me comfortably in his arms. “Let’s sleep, love. I’l wake you before I
leave.”

I kissed his cheek and closed my eyes.

***

We took our usual table at Rusty’s and as soon as the band set up their
equipment, they joined us again. Spencer’s eyes remained on Bailey as we
chatted casual y. Grinning, I winked at Lucas. He patted my thigh, his touch
sending a shiver through my nervous system, reminding that the best part of the
evening was yet to come.

“So, Spencer,” Bailey said and he nearly fel out of his chair. “Irelyn tel s me that
you’re taking me out soon.” Spencer’s eyes darted to mine, ful of surprise. I
nodded at him and he returned his attention to Bailey. “Oh, yeah, sure. Tomorrow
night – dinner, dancing, the works.”

Narrowing her eyes at him, she pul ed her lips into a seductive smile. “How about
dinner, a movie then back to your place?” His astonishment swiftly turned to
pleasure as he sat back and placed an arm on her chair. “Sure – anything you
want.” We laughed and a little color brushed Spencer’s face. Bailey pressed a

moist kiss to his cheek just as someone else approached our table.

“Bailey, you didn’t tel me you knew the band,” Amber said as she hovered over
Morgan’s shoulder. “How nice.”

“Yeah,” Bailey answered as she traced the lip of her glass with her finger. “They
are nice guys.”

“And it’s time for these nice guys to get on stage,” Col in said as he punched
Lucas’s arm. Lucas squeezed my thigh before he fol owed the others to the stage.
The suddenly crowded bar went nuts as Amber and Hol y took the vacant chairs at
our table. I groaned, not wanting to hear Amber drone on and on about Lucas, but
I held my tongue, turning my concentration on Lucas instead.

She ran her mouth nonstop about how she met with the guys last Saturday night
after their show, claiming they’d invited her to hang out with them and have pizza.
She hinted that her evening hadn’t ended there but I ignored her. I preferred to
believe Lucas.

As they neared the end of their last set, I started to panic. How was I going to be
able to sneak out with him while Amber was in our presence?

“Are you going home with Lucas tonight?” Morgan whispered in my ear. I
shrugged. “Wel , I’l help you if I can.” I didn’t know how she’d manage that –
certainly Amber would notice if both Lucas and I disappeared.

By the time the guys finished packing up their equipment, I stil hadn’t come up
with anything. I was hoping Lucas had because Amber hadn’t left and made no
indication that she was.

The guys crowded around our table wearing matching, playful smirks. “Ladies,”
Col in cooed. “We’re thinking of having a little get together at our place.

Are you interested?”

“I am,” Amber announced to no one’s surprise. I looked at Lucas but he didn’t
spare me a glance. He just gripped the back of my chair with a stoic expression on
his face.

“We’re in,” Bailey said with a false smile and narrowed eyes. “We’l fol ow you.”

“Great,” Lucas said. He rattled my chair and I stood. His eyes narrowed at me and
fil ed with desire. I cursed Amber Gordon in my mind as I col ected my bag,

waiting for Bailey to join me.

“Lucas, can Irelyn ride with you?” Bailey asked in a sweet voice. “Morgan and I
have an errand to run.”

“Sure,” Lucas said, his eyes sparkling. “Let’s go.”

I fol owed Lucas to his truck, not even chancing a look at Amber. I hoped she
fumed.

As soon as he pul ed out of the parking lot, I scooted to the middle and kissed his
neck, my hand on his thigh. My desire exploded as I made contact with his body. I
wanted nothing more but for him to pul over to the side of the road.

“Hold that thought,” he said, chuckling. “We’l get rid of Amber, don’t worry. Col in
said he had a plan.”

“If you hurry up and get home, we could…you know…before anyone gets there.”

He laughed heartily and quickly kissed me on the top of my head. “Patience, love.”
Plopping into the seat, I pouted al the way to his apartment. We were the first to
arrive and I fol owed him into his bedroom where he dropped his guitar case. He
snaked his arms around my waist from behind, resting his head on the top of
mine.

“I want you, Lucas,” I said huskily as I closed my eyes. He squeezed my middle
and kissed my neck awakening my dozing desire. I turned in his arms to press my
lips firmly against his, my tongue outlining his mouth.

He groaned, jerking me closer to his body, his arousal very evident. I clawed at his
shirt, eager to get it off, when his hands closed over mine. He ripped his lips away
and smiled sadly.

“Sorry, Irelyn, but everyone wil be here soon.”

“Whose stupid idea was this party, anyway?” I grumbled.

Chuckling, he pecked my lips. Taking my hand in his, he led me to the kitchen
where he opened the refrigerator and grabbed a beer, offering it to me. I took it
and twisted off the cap while he grabbed another one and leaned against the
counter.

“Lucas, how old are you?” I asked.

He sucked on his beer, his eyes on me. When he pul ed the bottle from his mouth,
he managed a smile. “Twenty-two. And you?” He raised a brow as if the thought

just occurred to him.

“Eighteen. I’l be nineteen in January.”

He nodded as his lust-fil ed eyes traveled up and down my body. I wanted him.
Badly.

The others arrived, breaking the sexual tension – temporarily at least. Amber
rushed to the kitchen to claim a spot next to Lucas, eager to engage him in
conversation. I drained my beer as Col in draped an arm over my shoulders.

“We’l get rid of her soon, just wait,” he whispered in my ear. “I have a plan.” Bailey
and Morgan showed up and joined us in the kitchen. Morgan stuck to water while
Bailey matched Spencer beer for beer.

My body was extremely aware of Lucas al night and it ached for him. Amber
pawed at him, stroking his arm and laughing at everything he said. I kept waiting
for Col in’s bril iant plan to kick in so I could cut my poor lip a break and quit
chomping on it.

Around two-thirty, a pounding on the door moved the party to the living room.
Morgan gripped my hand as Col in opened the door to admit a young woman with
dark hair and a dark glower to match.

“Al right, guys, time to break up the party. I need some sleep,” she said.

“Gotcha, Tori, darling,” Col in grinned. “We’l wrap it up.” He turned to the rest of us
with glee in his eyes. “Okay, party’s over – everyone out.”

“Aw,” Amber said with a fake pout. She clutched Lucas’s arm, fluttering her
eyelashes at him. “Do we real y have to go?”

“Tori is sort of our landlord. Sorry,” he said as he pried her fingers off his arm.
“Thanks for coming.”

“Are you guys playing anywhere tomorrow night?”

“Not this weekend,” Lucas said. He took the coat that Col in offered him and
helped Amber to put it on. “Guess I’l see you at Rusty’s next week?”

“Sure,” she smiled. She kissed his cheek, grabbed Hol y, and marched out the
door.

I fumed through the entire exchange, wanting to yank every single hair out of her
head, one at a time. Bailey distracted me when she appeared in front of my eyes,
her fingers entwined with Spencer’s. “I’l see you two ladies tomorrow.” She waved

and left with Spencer. I glanced, wide-eyed at Morgan, and laughed.

Morgan sighed. “Guess I get the room to myself tonight.” She pecked my cheek.
“See you in the morning” I walked out with her in time to see Amber’s car speed
off into the night, Spencer and Bailey not far behind. Morgan backed out of the
drive, honked, and disappeared.

“Tori - Irelyn,” Col in said.

With a bright smile, the other girl shook my hand. “Nice to meet you. I’ve already
heard about you.”

“Nice to meet you, too,” I said. “Um, do you live upstairs?”

“Yeah. My dad owns the house. He rents the upstairs to me and the downstairs to
the boys.” She grinned at me. “Col in asked me to play irritated landlord and get
rid of al the people.”

“I owe you, bro,” Lucas said as he bumped fists with Col in.

“Yeah, you’re racking up quite the tab,” he jested. He tossed an arm around Tori.
“I’m crashing in your spare room, darling. I don’t want to be front row to that,” he
said, pointing at us.

My heart lifted and I laughed as they headed up the stairs. Lucas guided me into
the apartment and straight to his bedroom.

Chapter 8

I helped my mother clean the house and perform chores to avoid the boredom that
was settling in around me. I was official y on Thanksgiving break and had a week
free from school. Morgan and Bailey had returned to their families but had each
cal ed me several times.

Dustin was home, too, and had taken me out every night. We’d attended the
theater, ate at expensive restaurants, and gone to the movies. The pensive mood
that had haunted him the last time we’d been together was gone only to be
replaced with giddiness. I final y found out the source the night before
Thanksgiving as we left a party at his parents’ house.

“So, Irelyn,” he said, practical y bursting.

“Yes?” I asked as I slipped my hand in his. “What?”

Kissing the back of my hand, he winked at me. “I booked us a room at The
Tranquil Inn this weekend. I thought we needed a little alone time.” I sucked in a
breath that drew his attention from the road. “Oh.”

“Oh?” he said. “I thought you’d be thril ed.”

“I am, but, what am I going to tel my mother?” I asked.

Laughing, he squeezed my hand as he raced through the streets toward my
house. “You know your mother won’t care. She can hardly forbid you to go when
she was having sex when she was sixteen,” he said. I didn’t real y care for the way
he spoke about her even if it was true. “Besides, we’re both adults.”

“I know,” I said as I slipped my hand out of his to rub my forehead. “I’l talk to her.
You’re right, we do need some alone time.” His already good mood was buoyed by
my words and when he dropped me off, he kissed me with such fervor that I was
stil gasping for breath when I entered the house. Who knew Dustin could be so
passionate?

Mom was sitting at the kitchen table going over bil s so I sat across from her,
hoping to bring the subject up right away before I chickened out. True, I was an
adult and perfectly able to spend a weekend with my boyfriend if I wanted, but it
would make my life that much easier if my mother didn’t freak out about it.

“Did you and Dustin have a nice time?” she asked as her eyes skimmed the bil in
her hand.

“Yes,” I said. I cleared my throat signaling that I needed to talk.

She removed her glasses and careful y set them on top of her bil s. I smiled
feebly.

“Mom, Dustin wants to take me away for the weekend. What do you think?”

“Wel ,” she started, and I could see the parent emerging in her eyes. “Honey, you
are eighteen and you and Dustin have been dating for a long time.” Taking a deep
breath, she pinched the bridge of her nose. “I suppose I should be happy that
you’re being honest with me, huh?”

“Mom,” I said, averting my eyes. “Um, I’ve already had…um…sex with him. Um, a
few times.” A pregnant pause fil ed the room and I was too ashamed to look in her
eyes. If only she knew what else I’d been up to…

She laughed which caused me to furrow my brow as I considered her careful y. I
didn’t see what was so funny to a mother whose daughter had just admitted to
having sex.

“I don’t mean to laugh, honey,” she said as she stretched her hand out to pat mine.
“It’s just, not a conversation I expected to have with you. I mean, we did have the
sex talk and everything but I never expected you to come straight out and tel me
that. I guess I should have known better – you always share things with me.”

Guilt, my constant companion lately, grinned at me. “Um, so, do you think I should
go?”

“Do you want to go?” she asked.

That’s the mil ion dol ar question, I wanted to shout. “Yeah, I do,” I decided. I
scooted up in my chair. “We haven’t spent a lot of time together lately and things
are just sort of weird with us going to different schools.” I bit my lip. “And,
Grandfather mentioned something to me about Dustin wanting to propose soon…”

Her eyes grew as she grinned. “Seriously? Dustin is going to ask you to marry
him?” I held up a hand before she could start ranting and raving. “I don’t know if
he is or not but I sort of would like to be with him this weekend and make sure the
feelings I have for him are real. That way, if he does ask me, then I’l be able to
give him an honest answer.” Maybe I’d intended that statement to be some sort of
excuse to my mother, but it ended up ringing true in my heart. Perhaps this
weekend would boost our relationship and help me banish Lucas.

“Honey, if you love Dustin and you want to be with him, then do it,” she said. “I
don’t like giving my daughter permission to have sex – and I’m certainly no role
model – but you are an adult and I appreciate that you discussed this with me.”
With a big smile, I walked around the table to hug her. “I love you, Mom.”

“Oh, honey, I love you, too,” she said. “Oh, and, let’s keep this from your
grandparents. I don’t need the headache.” I giggled and kissed her cheek. “It’s a
deal.”

***

I counted the days in my datebook for the third time and sighed, trying to keep
from hyperventilating. I hadn’t counted wrong at al – I was supposed to have
started on Friday. Stomping down the panic, I closed my eyes as I fel on my bed. I
needed to stay calm and relax. Stress would only delay my monthly visitor longer.
Besides, it would be quite inconvenient for it to show up this weekend.

But a little voice inside my head was prodding me – antagonizing my fears.
Condoms weren’t one hundred percent. And the time in the shower…wel , even if
he didn’t …finish…inside me until the condom was on didn’t real y mean anything.
Did it?

Groaning, I sat up. “I took Biology – I know how these things work.”

I pursed my lips in concentration. True, I was usual y right on time with my period
but it had been late in the past - though never late enough to cause me concern.
And a couple of days didn’t automatical y make me pregnant. I’d just have to relax
and not think about it. If it didn’t come by next week – then I’d worry.

Confident that I had a plan, after I finished dressing, I joined my mother and my
cousin downstairs so we could drive to my grandparents’ house.

***

Dinner was wonderful – a verifiable feast – and once I’d eaten twice my normal
calorie intake, I joined my family in the den. The kitchen staff served coffee and a
warm fire crackled in the fireplace. It was such a warm, lovely scene - something
normal y I would enjoy - but my head was ful of my recent predicament that I just
couldn’t banish.

Excusing myself to use the restroom, I fled up the stairs. I shut and locked the
door before withdrawing my cel phone. I hit his number before I could chicken out
and paced the spacious bathroom.

“Hey, happy Thanksgiving, love,” Lucas cooed in my ear, sending shudders up my
spine.

“Same to you,” I said, inserting a little pep in my voice. “Where are you?”

“My parents’ place,” he said. “And where are you?”

“Um, I’m at the grandparents’ house,” I whispered.

He chuckled. “Irelyn? Are you … in a bathroom?”

“Yes,” I said curtly. “And I can hang up if you’re going to make fun of me.”

He laughed. “I’m not making fun of you. I’m rather touched that you would go to al
that effort just to talk to me.” I smiled despite the situation. “I real y do need to talk

to you,” I said.

“What’s up?”

I gnawed on the inside of my cheek. “Wel , it’s just…” I groaned. “Okay, here it is.
I’m, um, late.”

“Okay,” he said slowly. “Late for wh…ohh – that late.”

“Yeah, that late,” I repeated. “I’m a little scared.”

“How late is late?”

“Not terribly but enough to worry me.”

“Wel , shit,” he said. “Shit. We’ve been careful – hel , I have an empty condom box
in my bedroom to prove it.”

“They’re not always a hundred percent,” I whispered, tears climbing up my throat.

He released a very heavy sigh. “Listen to me. Are you going to Rusty’s tomorrow
night?” I closed my eyes. “No. I have a family thing,” I lied. “Al weekend.”

“Oh,” he said, bereft. “Okay. Um, you go back to school Monday, right?”

“Yes.”

“Then come by my place after class,” he suggested. “I get off work at four. We’l
talk then.”

“Okay.”

“Hey, Irelyn,” he said, his voice soft. “If you are…you know…then we’l figure it out.
I wouldn’t leave you high and dry. I swear.”

“Thanks, Luke,” I gushed.

“No problem, love. Now get back to your family before your grandmother fires her
cook.” My forehead crinkled as I contemplated what he said, wondering if I heard
him right. “What? Why?” He laughed but it sounded forced. “They’l think the cook
didn’t prepare the turkey properly and it made you sick.”

“Oh,” I said and giggled. “I guess. Okay, then, um, I’l see you Monday.”

“Relax, love and enjoy your weekend. It wil work out.”

“I know. Thanks.”

I ended my cal and returned to my family.

“…is an outstanding school,” Grandfather was tel ing my mother. He looked regal
as he sat proudly in his wing chair, his legs crossed, his slacks perfectly pressed
and creased. “He can finish this semester at his school and start at Torrison’s next
semester.” Mom’s lips were practical y white as she nodded curtly. She was
perched on the edge of the sofa, cupping her coffee mug gingerly in her hands.
Tommy sat rigidly beside her, his eyes wide as he fol owed the conversation.

“You’re sending Tommy to Torrison’s?” I asked as I reentered the room.

“Yes,” Grandfather said. “The arrangements have already been made.”

“But, are you sure that’s the best thing for him?” I objected. I sat next to Tommy
and wrapped an arm around his shoulders. “He doesn’t like change.”

“He’l be fine,” Grandfather insisted. “You and your mother coddle him too much. A
new school with children that have the same talents as his wil be good for him.”
He rose to fetch a cigar from the handsome box on the mantle and signaled the
end of the conversation.

I sighed and glanced at Tommy.

***

Dustin chattered excitedly as he headed out of town. I inserted generic responses
here and there but my mind was stil wrapping around the thought that I might be
pregnant. Even though I’d promised myself I wouldn’t worry about it al weekend, it
stil lingered. I hadn’t slept much at al as I visualized my grandparents’ reaction.
And my mother’s.

An idea suddenly occurred to me as we arrived at the inn. What if I was and what
if I just passed it off as Dustin’s? I was certain we’d make love this weekend – that
was part of his plan – and I could just keep my mouth shut for about a month.
Surely he wouldn’t do the math – he’d be either shocked or ecstatic. It could work.

But I’d already told Lucas. I cursed myself for jumping the gun. I should have just
waited. Maybe he’d go along with my plan – he wouldn’t want to be stuck with me
and a kid.

I fol owed Dustin inside, not noticing the lobby décor, and mul ed my plan. Could I
do that, though? Could I lie to Dustin and the baby? I’d grown up without a father

and it hadn’t real y bothered me much. My mother was loving enough for two.

“Come on, sweetheart,” Dustin said as he took my hand and fol owed the bel hop
up the stairs. The bel hop unlocked the door and set our bags on the floor. Dustin
tipped him and took the key, shutting the door. After he locked it, he turned to
smile at me. My heart fluttered.

He crossed the room to take me in his arms. “Final y, time to be total y alone.”

“Yes,” I said as he kissed me.

“What do you want to do first?” he asked. His bril iant blue eyes sparkled as a
boyish smile framed his mouth.

I brushed the bangs off his forehead and returned his smile. “Anything.”

“I have an idea,” he said as he leaned in to kiss me. It started soft but turned
eager. He backed me to the bed, slowly removing my sweater. My heart pounded
as he continued to undress me. It had been awhile since we’d made love and I
was anxious for this weekend to reinforce our relationship.

Maybe then I could end things with Lucas.

He was gentle and loving as he kissed me while he eased inside of me. My heart
just couldn’t handle the tenderness and hammered against my ribs.

When we finished, he held me, kissing my forehead. I snuggled into him, sweet
smile on my face. I had missed him so much but hadn’t real y noticed until now.

“Are you okay, Irelyn?” he asked.

“Yeah, why?”

He squeezed me. “I’ve always heard that it can sometimes be painful for a woman
if she hasn’t had sex in a long time. And it’s been a couple months.” I closed my
eyes to chase away the tears. I was nothing but a horrible, miserable fraud. “I’m
okay, Dustin. You were very gentle.”

“I love you,” he said.

“I love you, too,” I whispered.

We ate in the dining room that evening. The tables were smal and intimate and the
lighting dim. A huge fireplace took up an entire wal and lent to the romantic
atmosphere. I sat close to Dustin, enjoying the intimacy.

“I understand that Tommy is going to attend Torrison’s next semester,” Dustin said
as he held my hand on top of the table.

My gut clenched as anger churned my stomach. “Yes, I guess so, but I don’t like
it.”

“Why?” Dustin asked.

“Because Tommy likes his school – he has friends and a great teacher. He doesn’t
do wel with change. I worry that he won’t adjust.”

“Sweetheart,” Dustin said in a placating voice. “You’re not his mother. I know you
love him but you should just leave decisions like this up to the adults responsible
for him.”

My jaw fel as I gaped at him. How could he say that? Did he like people making
decisions for him? I didn’t think so. “Would you like it if someone ripped you from
your comfort zone and shoved you into an entirely new place? Don’t you think
you’d be scared?” Chuckling, he stroked my cheek as the waiter shoved entrees
under our noses. “I’d welcome the chal enge and fight it head on.”

“But imagine you’re a child with special needs…” I said.

“I don’t mean to upset you,” Dustin said once the waiter disappeared. “I know how
much you care about him, but this is a wonderful opportunity. He’l learn with the
best and get a quality education. You should be happy for him.”

I know,” I conceded as I picked up my fork and stabbed a piece of broccoli. Dustin
just wasn’t going to see my point and that was fine – he wasn’t the one making the
decisions anyway. “I’m sure he’l be fine.”

After dinner, we drove around the smal town, trying to figure out what we’d do the
next day. When we returned to our room, Dustin lost no time in getting me
undressed again. He wasn’t as gentle but he lacked the animal passion that Lucas
had and I forced my mind not to compare the two – it wasn’t fair to either of them.

Dustin dropped beside me, his chest heaving. “I think I’l shower.”

I smiled – he was so fastidious about his appearance. He kissed me, climbed off
the bed, and strol ed across the room completely naked. I watched him, admiring
the beauty of his body, and waited until I heard the shower. I raced to the
bathroom and crept in behind him.

“Irelyn!” he exclaimed, his eyes wide with shock. “What are you doing?”

“Showering,” I said with a mischievous grin. I took the soap out of his hands and

lathered his chest. He stood stil , too astonished to move. It wasn’t until I worked
the lather on the lower half of his body that he came back to life. He yanked me
into his chest and pressed a hard kiss to my mouth. He rinsed his body, turned off
the water, and pul ed me to the bed.

It was over almost soon as it began and left me aching for more. But he claimed to
be tired so I ran my fingers through his hair until he fel asleep.

I dropped to my pil ow, listening to Dustin’s light snores as I absently rubbed my
flat abdomen. I wondered, for the hundredth time, if there was a baby forming in
there and what it would look like. Would it have Lucas’s beautiful eyes and his
sexy hair? If I did try to claim that Dustin was the father and if the baby looked like
Lucas, would anyone believe me?

I turned to my side and butted against Dustin. I closed my eyes, begging sleep to
claim me. I didn’t want to sit up al night again and ponder the newest pile of crap
that I’d managed to heap on top of the mess I cal ed my life. I knew that if I didn’t
sit down and start figuring things out soon instead of my usual manner of pushing
things to the side, I’d regret it. But tonight was not the right time.

Sleep did find me an hour later.

***

Waking before Dustin, I kissed his soft cheek before I slipped out of bed and
padded to the bathroom. My legs were a little achy but it was a comfortable kind of
ache. It reminded me of what had gone on the night before – the love I’d shared
with Dustin.

I sighed and sat on the toilet, my kidneys near explosion. As I finished, I nearly
screamed.

“Yes!” I whispered instead. “Yes! Thank you!”

I dug in my cosmetic bag and found the tampons I’d thrown in there just in case –
and with crossed fingers. After I took care of myself, I washed up, cleaned my
teeth, and brushed my hair. The entire time I tried to compose my face. I didn’t
want Dustin to know how thril ed I was that my period had come.

“Hey, Irelyn, you okay in there?” Dustin asked. I jumped and dropped my tooth
brush.

“Oh, um, yeah, give me a sec, okay?”

When I finished, I shoved al my stuff into my bag. I faced my reflection one last
time and scrubbed my cheeks. Taking a deep breath, I left the bathroom.

He pecked my cheek as he brushed past me and went into the bathroom. I
perched on the bed, practicing what I’d say to him.

He sat next to me when he returned to the room and wrapped me in his arms.
“What are we going to do today?”

“Wel ,” I said as I suppressed a smirk. “I can tel you what we can’t do.”

He took the news wel – bless his heart – and promised me that we’d stil have a
good time. “After al , sweetheart,” he said with a kiss. “I didn’t bring you here just
for sex.”

The rest of the weekend passed quickly. By the time Dustin dropped me off
Sunday night, I was relaxed and wel -rested. I told Mom a little about my weekend,
chatted with Tommy, and then went to bed. I fel to sleep confident that when I went
to Lucas’s house on Monday, I’d be able to end things. I belonged with Dustin.

Chapter 9

Parking in front of Lucas’s house, I walked purposely to the front door. I was going
to tel him the good news then tel him that I couldn’t see him anymore.

Before I had a chance to know, he ripped the door open and grinned. He was
dressed in jeans and a gray work shirt, his name embroidered over his heart,
unbuttoned to reveal a white, long-sleeved t-shirt. He wore a basebal hat
backwards over his hair and he total y took my breath away.

He eased his hand in mine, dragged me inside, and straight to the kitchen where a
feast of Chinese food waited. Urging me into a chair, he plopped next to me.

“Eat, love, then we’l talk,” he said as he piled rice on his plate. I watched him,
drinking in every movement and facial expression. How I would miss him –

but I’d made my decision and I needed to stick to it.

He paused, lifting a brow. “Not hungry?”

“Lucas, I got my period Saturday. We’re safe.”

His brow shot even higher before his face relaxed into my favorite crinkly-eyed
grin. “Real y, now? Wel , I suppose that’s good news. Now eat. I’m starved.” He
shoved a plate at me and I scooped some chicken out of one of the containers.
Picking up his fork, he started shoveling food in his mouth as I picked at mine.
“How was your break?”

“Okay,” I said. “I spent some time with my mom and with Tommy.”

“Tommy?” His fork froze halfway to his mouth. “I thought his name was Dustin.”

I giggled and ducked my head over my plate. “Um, Tommy is my little cousin. He
lives with me and my mom.”

“Oh. Cool. Yeah, I remember you mentioning him.” He chewed and washed his
food down with a beer. “How old is Tommy?”

“Nine,” I said with a smile. “He has special needs and he’s a wonderful little boy.
We just discovered that he can play the piano and very wel .”

“Real y?” Lucas asked, a sparkle of genuine interest in his eye. “Like, a musical
prodigy or something?” I nodded. “Oh, he’s taking lessons but he picks it up
quickly.” The smile slipped off my face and I set my fork down next to my plate.
“My grandparents are enrol ing him at Torrison’s School of the Arts next semester.”

“What’s the problem?” he asked.

I blew a puff of air at the hair in my face. “Tommy doesn’t adjust wel to change.
He’s settled in nicely at his school and has friends and everything. And my
grandparents pretty much ignored him until they found out he’s talented. Now, they
parade him around the country club as if he’s some prize-winning thoroughbred.” I
looked into Lucas’s beautiful eyes. “And I’m worried about him. What if he doesn’t
like the school or can’t make friends? It’s going to set him back.”

Scooting his chair closer to mine, Lucas took my hand. “What does Tommy think
about al this?” I blinked slowly at him, processing his question. “Um, I don’t know. I
never asked him. I don’t think anyone has.” Lucas shrugged and lifted my hand to
his lips. “He may only be nine and have special needs, but it is his life. Maybe he
wants to go. Has he taken a tour of the school yet?”

I shook my head. “But that’s a good idea.” My heart quickened. What if I arranged
a tour for Tommy? What if he liked it? But what if he didn’t? “So, what happens if
he doesn’t like the school?”

He watched as he unlaced and laced our fingers. “Then, stand up for him.”

Leaning in, I kissed him softly. He squeezed my hand while lifting his other to cup
my face. My heart pattered happily as we broke apart. A satisfied sigh left my lips
as my eyes slowly opened and I smiled at him. “Thanks, Lucas.”

“Anytime, love,” he said. “Are you finished?”

After I helped him clean up, I contemplated going back to the dorms but he held
my hand again and dragged me to the living room. He dropped to the sofa,
tugging me next to him. He turned on the television, propped his feet on the coffee
table, and draped an arm behind me.

“How did your show go on Friday?” I asked, not quite ready to break the news to
him.

“Fine,” he said nonchalantly. “I missed you, though.” He squeezed my shoulder.
“How was your weekend?”

“Um,” I said, gnawing on the inside of my cheek. He turned his ful attention on me,
his brow lifted. “I, um, wel , Dustin sort of took me away for the weekend.”

His eyes clouded and I regretted tel ing him. He continued to stare at me but his
face relaxed and he pursed his lips, suppressing laughter. He snorted as his
laughter escaped.

“What?” I asked. “What’s so funny?”

He choked and coughed and tried to compose himself. “It’s just that…” he wiped
his eyes. “He takes you away for a romantic weekend…” Laughter overcame him
again. “And your…your period comes!”

He col apsed into laughter again as fury built inside my stomach. “That’s not
funny!”

“On the contrary, it is,” he said between fits of laughter.

Snatching the hat off his head, I started smacking his chest with it. His laughter
just escalated as he hunched his shoulders and held his hands in front of his body.
He grabbed my wrists, forcing me to drop his hat, as he yanked me across his lap.
His laughter settled as he leered in my face. “It is funny and you know it.”

Dipping his head, he caught my lips. He dropped my wrists and held my head, his
thumbs caressing my cheeks. I clutched his biceps and lost myself in his kiss. I
forgot that I was supposed to tel him that I couldn’t see him anymore. I forgot that I
belonged to Dustin. I forgot everything but his mouth on mine and his sweet
caresses.

When the door suddenly burst open, Lucas drew back to glare at Col in.

“Making up for lost time, kids?” Col in said with a laugh.

Lucas sat up, taking me with him, and gestured vulgarly at his brother. He picked
up his hat and crammed it on his head. “There’s Chinese in the fridge, bro.”

“Ah, that’s right,” Col in said as he breezed through the room. “It’s your turn to
cook.”

“Hey, be glad I stopped for food and didn’t attempt to make anything,” Lucas
countered, his eyes crinkling with his smile.

“Yeah, thanks,” Col in shouted over his shoulder.

Lucas kissed my neck and tucked my wild hair behind my head. “Do you want to
stay tonight?” A blush warmed my neck, flooding my face, and I ducked my head
to hide it. “Lucas, I can’t have sex right now.” He chuckled as he ran kisses up and
down my neck. “We don’t always have to have sex. You can just hang out here
with me and spend the night.” I wanted to – I wanted to so badly. But I couldn’t. I
was supposed to be ending things. I was supposed to explain to him that I wanted
to be with Dustin.

“I need to get back to the dorm,” I said as I avoided his eyes. I got up to find my
coat. I reached for the door knob as he stood behind me.

“Sure,” he said slowly. “Um, okay, then. Wil you be at Rusty’s Friday night?”

I opened my mouth to tel him that I wouldn’t be there – that I had to end this. It
was on the tip of my tongue to say that I couldn’t do this to Dustin anymore –

or to myself. I wanted to just kiss him one last time and walk away forever. Of
course I didn’t.

“Yes, I’l be there,” I said as I rose to my toes to place a soft kiss on his lips.

“Drive safe, love.”

***

School droned on and I worked hard – forcing my concentration on my classes. I
was doing wel but my classes were fairly easy. I couldn’t wait for the next

semester when I could take something more chal enging.

The first chance I got to talk to my mother, I convinced her to take Tommy on a
tour of the school. She promised that she would that week and she’d tel me al
about it when I came home for the weekend. That eased a little anxiety and I
hoped that Tommy would love it. I wasn’t thril ed with the prospect of battling with
my grandfather.

Dustin cal ed me Thursday night but the sound of his voice didn’t stir the usual
excitement. I pondered it briefly but pushed it aside for later review. My ‘to think
about later’ file was fil ing rapidly and it worried me. I knew I had a lot of things to
sort through before they al got out of hand and made a bigger mess.

One thing I had decided was that I’d let my fling with Lucas continue until the
semester break. I’d have to definitely end it then. Not only was it wrong to continue
but I was scared to death someone would see him dropping me off at the dorms
and Dustin would somehow find out. I knew he had a friend or two at Dunne-
Browling, but I didn’t know them personal y. Besides, Grandfather had spies
everywhere.

Dustin wanted to see me Friday night but I couldn’t do it. I’d told Lucas I would be
at Rusty’s and I’d meant it. If I only had a few more Fridays with him, then I would
appreciate and enjoy every last one.

Morgan half-heartedly approved of my plan to end things after the semester break.
She thought I should do it right away but settled for my deadline.

Bailey thought I was being too hard on myself. She told me I was stupid and that I
should continue until I got tired of it. She said no one knew about me and Lucas
but my friends and his and no one was tel ing anyone.

But I’d made my decision and I planned to stick to it. This time.

I dressed in my favorite jeans – the ones that fit me the best – and a hunter green
sweater that hugged my waist. I brushed my hair back careful y and al owed
Morgan to apply a touch of makeup. I briefly entertained the thought of wearing
the black dress I’d worn that Saturday night that I’d gone to that club with Dustin –
but I pushed it away. I didn’t want to seem too obvious and besides, no one else
would be dressed that way.

When we arrived at Rusty’s, we headed for our usual table but Marissa the
waitress stopped us.

“That table is reserved, ladies,” she said with a smile. “Sorry.”

“It’s reserved for them, darling,” Spencer said as he tugged Bailey to his chest to

kiss her. A twinge of jealousy smacked me, making me wish I could do the same to
Lucas -especial y when he approached us wearing a tight, long-sleeved t-shirt
advertising an Australian surf shop. His eyes raked over my body and I wished I
didn’t have to wait for his show – I wanted him right then and there.

“First round is on us,” Lucas said as he gave Marissa a wink. She smiled, took our
drink orders, and scurried away.

“Meet me at the truck after the show, love, if your little friend shows up,” Lucas
whispered in my ear, making me shiver.

“She’s not my friend,” I said with a slow smile. “She wants you.”

His smirk caused my heart to somersault. He squeezed my arm as he let his eyes
linger on my body again. “I have more than I can handle now.” He winked and fol
owed the others to the stage.

I fel to my seat, my legs like jel y, and was grateful when the waitress brought our
drinks. Bailey laughed at me and rested her arm on the back of my chair.

Amber did show up halfway through the show and my insides burned. She wasn’t
going to give up anytime soon and it worried me. Would she take my place when I
final y ended this thing with Lucas? The fire in the pit of my stomach grew and rol
ed and made me light-headed. I couldn’t stand the thought of him touching her.

I clenched my fists in my lap, only releasing them to slam the drinks that came at a
steady pace. By the time Lucas finished, I wasn’t drunk but I was pretty tipsy.

“Girl, I told you to slow down,” Morgan tsked. She helped me to my feet and with
my coat while Bailey conversed with the guys. “I’l walk you to his truck.”

“I’m fine,” I said, horrified to be near tears. When I glanced over my shoulder, I
caught Lucas’s concerned eyes. I smiled at him and al owed Morgan to steer me
out the door and to Lucas’s truck.

“Maybe you should come back to the dorm,” Morgan frowned.

I shook my head, regretting it immediately as I swayed and lost balance and
crashed against the truck. “No. I want to be with him, Morgan. I have to.” She
sighed heavily as her sad eyes considered me. “I know you do. I just wish…oh,
never mind.” She forced a smile. “Here comes Lucas. I’l see you later.” She
hugged me, patted Lucas’s arm, and disappeared.

“Come on, love,” he said as he unlocked the truck. “In you go.”

He helped me inside, buckled my seatbelt, then took off. I held his hand and

leaned against his shoulder. We didn’t speak the whole way – not even as he
helped me into the house. He dropped his bag and his guitar then unzipped my
coat, tossing it on a chair. Gripping my shoulders, he stared into my eyes.

“Do you feel sick?”

“No,” I said and burst into tears.

“Hey,” he said softly as he held me to his chest. “Shh, don’t cry, love.” He stroked
my hair and kissed the top of my head until my tears dried. “Better?”

“Yeah, sorry,” I said as I wiped my face on my sleeve. “This is why I don’t drink – I
always cry for no good reason.” He grinned and kissed me. “I need to take a
shower and grab some grub. Do you want to get in my bed?” My heart started
thumping again as I stood on my toes and captured his lips with mine. As I laced
my hands behind his neck, I pressed my body against his. He tangled his hands in
my hair and backed us toward his bedroom. I smiled in his mouth – this was
exactly what I wanted.

“Showering with me, then?” he muttered against my lips.

“Yes.”

He stripped us both in record time and started the shower. We stepped in without
testing the temperature and I shrieked as the cold water hit my skin.

Grinning, he held me against him as he adjusted the spray.

“Better?”

I stuck a hesitant hand under the water and nodded. Easing me under the spray,
he lathered me up slowly, running his hands down my body in a way that set my
already spinning head into orbit. He did more than just soap me up – he
massaged my muscles, relaxing me, and turning me to mush. By the time he
returned to my face, I was ready to explode.

“Lucas, just push me against the wal again,” I begged.

Chuckling, he kissed me which did not ease my desire in the least. “I forgot to grab
a condom. We don’t want that sort of headache again, do we?”

“Hurry,” I said as he kissed me again before racing to his bedroom. I warmed my
slowly sobering body in the water and smiled when his hands gripped my hips. He
kissed my shoulder.

“Do you want me in here or in the bedroom?”

“Here, now,” I said as I turned in his arms. He lifted me again and took me, his
mouth al over my neck. I clutched his back, my nails digging in his skin.

“I missed you so much,” he groaned as our bodies continued to dance intimately
in the cooling water.

“I missed you,” I said as I neared the edge. I buried my face in the crook of his
neck and bit him as we shuddered together. “It’s cold,” I said as I gasped for
breath. “The water.”

He set me careful y on my feet and shut off the water. Pushing the curtain aside,
he grabbed a towel off the rack to wrap around my body. He fetched one for
himself and helped me out of the shower. I stepped into him, pressing my cheek to
his chest. His arms snaked around me as he rested his head on mine.

“How are you feeling?” he mumbled in my hair.

“Not nearly so buzzed,” I said. “I think you sobered me up.”

He chuckled and eased back to kiss me. “Glad I could help.”

“Lucas, bro,” Col in shouted from the other side of the door. I jumped back into
Lucas’s arms at the sound of another voice. “Dude, we have company so don’t
come out naked.”

“Shit,” he said as he continued to hold me. “Shit.”

“Who is it?” I whispered.

“Probably someone from the bar so that means I’m going to have to hide you,” he
said with a frown. “Let me make sure my bedroom door is shut. Stay here.”

I waited in the bathroom for a couple seconds, nervously gnawing on my lip. I
knew it was that Amber broad and I knew I was going to do something total y
stupid one day to keep her away from him.

“Okay,” he smiled. He began col ecting our clothes and I jumped out of my stupor
to help. We dumped them on the bed before sorting out whose was whose. I
started to dress but he stopped me, a fire in his eyes. “No, don’t get dressed.
Here.” He fetched the same sweatpants and t-shirt that I wore last time and
handed them to me. “Wait here and I’l see who the hel is out there. If it’s just
Spencer and Col in, I’l come get you. If it’s anyone else, I’l fake sick and come
back to you.”

My heart turned at his words and I smiled. “Okay. Hurry.”

“I wil ,” he said as he tugged on a pair of jeans and a clean shirt. I buttoned it for
him and kissed him. “I’l be right back.” After he left, I crawled into his bed. I pul ed
the blankets to my chin and strained my ears to see if I recognized any of the
voices. I heard mumbling but nothing clear enough to identify. Sighing, I closed my
eyes, hoping he wouldn’t leave me for long.

He squeezed through the door ten minutes later locking it behind him. He flipped
on the light, temporarily blinding me, and crossed to the bathroom door.

He locked that one, too, then smiled at me as he sank on the edge of the bed.

“Wel , Col in is here, as you know, as wel as Spencer and Bailey.” He cringed and
I knew what was coming next. “But Hol y and Amber fol owed them al here.”

“You’re kidding,” I groaned as I rol ed to my back.

He bent over me, planting a hand on the other side of my body. “I told them I
wasn’t feeling wel and that I was going to bed.”

“I’m sure Amber is disappointed,” I mumbled childishly. I couldn’t help it – I hated
that woman.

When he kissed me, my anger seeped away. “Do you know what I think?”

“Hm?” I asked as I tugged his mouth back to mine.

He kissed me again. “I say the hel with it – just come out there with me. If she
knows you’re with me then she’l leave.” I froze and he sighed, disappointed.
“Lucas, I can’t.”

“Damn it, Irelyn – does she know your boyfriend? Your family?” He didn’t wait for
me to answer. “I’m tired of sneaking around – it’s starting to make this feel…dirty.”

I scooted up the headboard, clutching the blanket to my chest as though I was
naked. I glared murderously at him, anger flaring like a bad case of hemorrhoids.

“I’m sorry, Lucas, but I can’t do that. If you don’t want to feel dirty anymore then I’l
leave. I just ask that you please let me wait until she’s gone.” I sniffed and rubbed
my nose. “Or maybe Amber can come take my place, huh?”

He cursed under his breath, rubbing the back of his neck. “Damn. Irelyn, I’m sorry.
I know …don’t go, okay? I don’t want her here – I want you here.”

“This is crazy,” I groaned. “This was just supposed to be a one-night stand. How
did it get this far?” I cradled my head in my hands and felt him move beside me.
He put his arms around me and kissed the top of my head. “Irelyn, love, forget I
said anything.”

“You’re right, Lucas. This isn’t fair to you,” I said.

“If this is how you want things, then we’l keep it this way. No rules, remember?
Don’t stress about it, okay?” I sighed, wanting only to keep things the way they
were. I didn’t want to decide anything – certainly not tonight. I just wanted him. I
needed him. He was like my drug. I nodded and snuggled into him.

“Let’s get some sleep, okay?”

“Yeah,” I sighed.

He slid off the bed to undress while my eyes feasted on him. He’d upset me – hel ,
I’d upset myself- but my body didn’t care. It came back to life and I reached for him
as he crawled under the blankets. He shut off the light, kissing me fervently as he
removed the t-shirt and sweats he’d given me earlier. I didn’t care if what I was
doing was dirty. I didn’t care if it was wrong. I wanted him and I refused to be
denied.

Chapter 10

I woke with a start to a pitch black room. I leaned over Lucas and squinted at the
red numbers on his clock. It was barely after two but I could stil hear voices on the
other side of the door. Scrambling out of the bed, I fumbled with the clothes on the
floor until I found a shirt. It was Lucas’s but it didn’t matter to me at that point. I pul
ed my arms through the sleeves, buttoning it clumsily. I needed the bathroom but
was a little afraid to open that door.

I pressed my ear to the bedroom door and listened to see if I could hear female
voices. I heard a girlish chuckle that sounded familiar and my heart sang.

Sinking to my knees, I crawled around until I located my bag. When I found my
phone, I hit Bailey’s number. I grinned when I heard her ring tone in the other
room.

“Irelyn? What the hel are you doing cal ing my phone?”

I sat on the floor, leaning against the bed as I smiled. “Who’s al out there with
you?”

“Geez, girl, it’s clear. Amber left shortly after Lucas went to bed. It’s just me, Col in,
and Spencer.”

“Thank God,” I sighed in relief as I got to my feet and hurried toward the bathroom.
“Thanks.” I hung up and relieved myself. Once I finished, I went back to his
bedroom to find the sweatpants, yanking them over my legs. I had to rol the
waistband so I could walk without tripping, then I unlocked the door and stumbled
into the living room. Col in sat on one end of the sofa and Bailey on the other with
Spencer in the middle.

Col in took one look at me and laughed. “Oh, shit! This is so funny!”

“Yeah and you can just bite me,” I muttered as I perched on a chair. “How the hel
did Amber end up here?”

“Wel , after Morgan helped your drunk ass out,” Bailey said with a smug smile,
“Amber came over to the table and asked where Lucas had gone. Col in told her
that he was tired and went home.”

“But she heard me invite Spencer and Bailey over and I think she thought I’d
extended the invitation to her,” Col in said. He smiled bashful y at me. “Sorry,
darling. Didn’t mean to interrupt the love fest.”

Lifting a lazy brow, I smirked. “You didn’t.”

Col in and Spencer laughed as they bumped fists. Bailey and I just rol ed our
eyes.

Spencer casual y placed an arm around Bailey, took a sip of his beer, and cocked
his head at me. “Irelyn, darling, what is going on with you and Lucas, huh? I mean,
why al the cloak and dagger?”

I rubbed my weary eyes, wishing I would have stayed in bed with Lucas – at least
it was warm there and no one asked questions I couldn’t answer.

“We’re secret lovers – leave it at that,” Lucas said as he stood in the bedroom
doorway, scratching his bare chest.

I whipped my head up and couldn’t stop the smile from spreading across my face.
Yawning, he stumbled toward the kitchen, taking my heart with him. My eyes
remained on the doorway, waiting anxiously for him to return.

Col in noticed and snorted. “Yeah, right, that’s al you two are,” he mumbled

sarcastical y. But I heard. And I wondered – did he have a valid point?

***

The final weeks of the semester flew faster than Santa’s sleigh on Christmas Eve.
My heart wrenched when I thought about ending things with Lucas.

Unable to resist, I’d started hanging out in the old garage that was behind the two-
flat where he lived to listen to him rehearse with Spencer and Col in on Thursday
nights. I knew that it would only hurt more – for both of us – but I just had to see
him. I guess I was trying to cram al the Lucas time in that I could.

But my thoughts would return to Dustin – against my wil . And I wondered how the
hel I could do this to him. He’d been my only friend at St. Catherine’s.

When everyone else had frowned on me because I had no money and my mother
wasn’t anyone wel connected, Dustin hadn’t cared. He loved me because I was
me. And how was I repaying him?

I cried many tears and wished God would strike me dead because I was an awful,
evil person. Dustin was good and deserved better than me. But I just could not
help myself. What was I to do? I longed to be the perfect girlfriend and love Dustin
unconditional y but Lucas had worked his way into my life. I was helpless to dispel
him. I wished fervently someone would please help me make everyone happy.

One Thursday night, I sat in the dusty, chil y garage listening to Lucas and the
guys play and I couldn’t keep my eyes off of him. He wasn’t the most handsome
man I’d ever met but he was definitely beautiful to me. And his body…

I felt a blush creep up my neck and quickly changed my thoughts to how wel I’d
gotten to know him – thanks in large part to pil ow talk. I knew al about his parents
and how beautiful Australia was. I knew how much he missed it even though he
loved living in the U.S. I knew that he did enjoy his job-but his first love was music.
I knew how close he was to Col in and Spencer and how they al grew up together.

I also knew that I was developing real feelings for him. And how the hel it would
hurt Dustin.

That Thursday, after they finished rehearsing and ate twice their weight in Mexican
food, Lucas and I retired to his bedroom. He undressed me slowly, gently easing
me to the bed. He kissed me tenderly and laced his fingers with mine; clutching
my hand the whole time he made love to me. It wasn’t just sex this time. He was
unhurried and attentive and I couldn’t speak when it was over. My heart was so ful
of him - more confused than ever. He’d been so sweet and so…loving. I just let

him hold me and stroke my hair.

“So,” he whispered about fifteen minutes later, final y breaking the stil ness.
“Christmas is coming.”

“Mm hm,” I said, not wanting to ruin the moment.

“What do you want Santa to bring you?”

Snorting, I raised my head. “Santa? Real y?”

“Sure, why not?” he asked, rubbing my back. “You don’t believe in Santa?”

“I haven’t believed in Santa since I was like five,” I said.

“That real y sucks,” he said with a frown. “Why?”

“My mother didn’t have a lot of money and one year, she tried to explain to me that
sometimes Santa couldn’t bring everything on a child’s list.” I shrugged and
pressed a kiss to his lips. “I revised my list and only put one thing – this fancy dol
that every other little girl wanted. It was the hot toy that year and my mother just
couldn’t get her hands on one. She final y sat me down and told me the truth –that
there wasn’t a Santa and that she wouldn’t be able to get me the dol until my
birthday.”

“That’s sort of harsh,” he said with a furrowed brow.

“Maybe, but I didn’t wake up Christmas morning thinking Santa didn’t love me
because I didn’t get the stupid dol while every other little girl in my class did. I
knew the truth and sure enough, the next month on my birthday, I got one.”

“I guess I can see your point,” he said as he closed his eyes. He pul ed me closer
to his side. “But everyone should believe in Santa – or the spirit of Santa at least.
It adds to the magic of Christmas.”

Sitting up, I stared at him in disbelief. He cracked an eye open as a smirk started
in the corner of his mouth. “Lucas Newton – you’re a big softie, aren’t you?” I
accused.

With a slight shrug, he yanked me back down next to him. “I just think little kids
shouldn’t suffer because of adult problems.” My heart warmed as I snuggled into
his side. I closed my eyes as his arm tightened around me. “What do you want
Santa to bring you?” I asked.

“Eh,” he contemplated. “Just you in silky lingerie. Red – no, black.”

I snorted and slapped his chest playful y as he chuckled. “What’s the point? You’l
just rip it off my body. Waste of money.”

“Nah,” he said turning on his side to situate me so that I was spooned against him.
“I’d admire it for a few minutes. Take a picture or two.”

“Now you’re dreaming,” I said as I yawned. “But I dare you to ask the mal Santa
for that.” He buried his face in my hair. “I already have.” I laughed as he squeezed
my middle. “Hey, Irelyn, um, when do I get to read some of your stories?” My heart
paused as did my breath. I was a little particular about them as most of them were
fairly romantic. I let my mother read the more tame ones but I was sort of
embarrassed. Oh, I had shared a couple of them with Bailey and Morgan and they
enjoyed them - Bailey especial y enjoyed the ones that Lucas had inspired lately.

“Wel , I have a notebook in my bag,” I said hesitantly. “Um, I can leave it here for
you to read. But, I have to warn you – most of them are sort of girly.”

“I don’t care,” he said in a whisper. “I’m a closet romantic.”

I giggled nervously as I nibbled my lip. Why not? He wrote music and had shared
his latest songs with me so why couldn’t I share my stories with him?

“Okay, but be nice.”

“I’m always nice,” he murmured near my ear. He kissed the spot behind it and I
shuddered. He smiled against my skin, dragging his lips down my jaw.

“Want me to show you how nice I can be? You know – in case you forgot.”

I sucked in a breath as he nibbled on my neck. “Yes,” I said as I released that
breath and turned in his arms to find his lips. “Refresh my memory.”

***

I contemplated my deadline as I sat in Rusty’s the next night and watched him on
the stage. So many times he’d catch my eye, smiling, and send my feelings al
over the map. I tried to reason with myself that I should extend my deadline until
after my January birthday – my birthday would real y suck without him. So many
excuses surfaced inside my head that by the time the guys finished playing, I had
convinced myself that it was stil okay to see him and that no one had been hurt so
far.

Confident that I’d bought a little more time, I hurried to the stage to urge him to get
a move on. I just wanted to be alone with him, wrapped in his arms.

“Damn, girl,” Bailey laughed behind me. She waved at Spencer and grinned when
he blushed. “Don’t worry – he’l do you tonight.” It was my turn to blush. I hadn’t
told her or Morgan about how sweet the night before had been – how my heart
had swel ed bigger than the Grinch’s after he discovered the true meaning of
Christmas. I’d kept that locked inside and let it persuade me to postpone breaking
things off with Lucas. It made me question whether breaking things off with Lucas
was real y the answer.

And I’d started to question my feelings for Dustin. I knew I loved him, stil , but it
wasn’t the al -consuming love that I’d felt while we were in high school. I just didn’t
know how to handle it. Everything inside of me was a huge jumble of mixed up
feelings that I envisioned to be like the jangle of necklaces in my mother’s jewelry
box – the more you tried to untangle them, the more knotted they became.

Lucas draped a casual arm around my shoulders and pecked Bailey on the cheek.
“You’d be in a hurry, too,” he said, giving her an arrogant smirk.

I snorted and earned a wider smirk from Lucas. Patting his stomach, I ducked out
from under his arm. “Don’t be so sure of yourself.” His eyes widened as his smirk
slipped off his face. He lowered a brow and considered me careful y. “You’re
messing with me, aren’t you?” he asked. I leaned against the stage, studying my
nails, giving him a nonchalant shrug. He stepped toward me. “Yeah, you are. You
know you can’t wait until I take you home.”

“I can’t?” I said as I looked up from my nails. Bailey leaned next to me and
laughed.

A mask of indifference slipped on his face but I could stil see traces of amusement
in his eyes. “Maybe I’l go home alone – drink a few beers, eat some pizza, watch
some porn…”

“Take matters in your own hand,” I added.

He folded his arms across his chest and grinned. “I’m not picky.”

“So it’s the left hand tonight?” Bailey asked.

“Whatever it takes, darling,” he said in a low, dangerous voice that kick started my
pulse and made my temperature skyrocket. I pushed away from the stage to step
toward him. His eyes narrowed and darkened and the air around us was stifling.
He stretched out a hand and I took it, not caring who saw.

His grin morphed into a smile as he tugged me closer. His eyes never left mine as
he spoke. “And I’m guessing it won’t take much tonight – not with my woman.”

My heart soared and flipped and tumbled at his words and I didn’t dare correct
him. Tonight I would be his woman.

“Let’s get out of here,” I said in a husky voice.

“Have fun, kids,” Bailey cal ed out as Lucas snatched his guitar case and dragged
me out to his truck. He buckled me up and tore out of the parking lot. I laughed as
I clutched his leg.

When we got to his house, he hurried me inside but instead of rushing me into the
bedroom, he dropped his things and took me into the kitchen.

“Hungry?” he asked.

“Yeah,” I said as I dropped his hand to wrap my arms around his waist. “For you.”
Chuckling, he turned to gawk at me. “That was cheesy.”

“No it wasn’t!” I protested. “It was sexy! And hot!”

“It wasn’t sexy or hot,” he said, gripping my hips to heft me on the counter and
stand between my knees. His hands slipped under my shirt and up my sides. “I’l
show you what’s hot and sexy.” After he yanked my shirt over my head, he
dropped it to the floor. “Now this is hot,” he said as he kissed me. I clutched his
shoulders and gasped.

“Um, Lucas,” I said, as I pul ed away from him. “Won’t Col in be home soon?”

He hooked a finger under my bra strap and slipped it down my arm. “Nope. He’s
been seeing some girl and he’s going over there tonight.”

“Wel , in that case,” I said as I unbuttoned his pants. "Continue.”

He helped me off the counter and out of my clothes then lifted me back up as I
yanked his jeans down. He kicked them off and cursed, a sheepish smile on his
face, and ran out of the room. I laughed, a little self-conscious, as I guessed what
he was after. I was right.

When he returned, he kissed me fiercely. He scooted me to the edge of the
counter and entered me quickly. I buried my face in his neck as I moaned his
name which only hastened his pace. The new position was exhilarating and just
plain hot that it drove me to the edge in record time. I wrapped my legs around his
waist to urge him on – wanting him to finish with me.

He did, pressing me to his chest as shudders rattled his body. I rested my cheek
on his shoulder as we both calmed our breathing. He final y laughed and ruffled
my hair as he helped me off the counter.

“I’m real y going to have to scrub the counter now, huh?”

I blushed as I gathered my clothes and scurried to the bathroom. After I started the
shower, I hopped in, knowing he’d join me soon enough.

He didn’t disappoint me. He wrapped his arms around my waist and kissed my
shoulder. I turned in his arms to kiss him sweetly on the lips. “Sorry, love,” I said
with a teasing grin in which he returned. “But I’m stil recovering from the kitchen
activities to resume them in the shower.”

“Hm,” he said with narrowed eyes. “You must be tired – you usual y love it in the
shower.” I felt the heat in my cheeks but I didn’t contradict him. “You just make me
crazy.” He kissed me again, al owing his lips to linger on mine. “And I just can’t
keep my hands off of you.” We finished the shower faster than usual and I helped
myself to one of his many t-shirts before crawling into his bed. I glanced at the
clock and my heart stopped – my notebook was lying open on the nightstand.

“Um, you read some of that?” I asked as I pointed at the notebook.

“Yeah,” he said as he crawled in beside me. He shut off the light and col ected me
in his arms. “I took it to work with me and read it on my breaks. I had a hard time
putting it down so when I got home, I sort of chil ed out for a bit in here and started
reading again.” He kissed the top of my head. “Irelyn, you are extremely talented. I
can’t believe you’re not published yet.”

I thril ed at his words – and blushed furiously. “You real y like it?”

“Yes, very much. And I’m not just saying it. I honestly mean it,” he said.

“Thank you,” I said as I kissed him. “I’m glad you like it. I was a little scared to let
you read it.”

“Never be afraid,” he said. “You can tel me anything you want. Or show me.”

My cheeks were blazing and my heart fluttering happily but I had to change the
subject – I guess I just couldn’t handle the deep meaning in his words. “I don’t
think there’s much that I haven’t shown you.”

He chuckled as he buried his face in my hair. “That’s not what I meant.” He turned
our bodies so that we were on our sides and I was spooned against him. I think he
loved having my body pressed against his and his arms around me. “Listen to me,
love – no matter what this thing is between us – I don’t care if it’s just a…affair, I
guess I mean to say. Anyway, we haven’t set rules or boundaries nor have we real

y discussed what wil happen in the future.

That’s fine – I’m fol owing your lead.”

I tensed and he felt it. He massaged my arm, planting soft kisses along my cheek
and jaw until I relaxed.

“What I’m trying to say is that no matter what happens, I genuinely like you, Irelyn,
and I real y hope that we’re at least friends.” I wanted to cry and sob and gush and
just hug him until he couldn’t breathe. I wanted to utter sappy, romantic words to
him. I wanted to act out a scene like I was writing it in one of my stories. But I
didn’t. I wiggled until I was facing him and traced his jaw. I knew that no matter
what happened – even if it was so wrong for me to be with him while I was stil
Dustin’s girlfriend – that I was a better person for knowing Lucas. I smiled in the
dark and kissed him, forcing al my feelings and emotions and confusion in that
one kiss.

He held me tighter and returned it – almost like he understood.

When our lips final y broke apart, we were silent. We didn’t need to say anything,
anyway. I imagined if the lights were on, we’d both be staring in each other’s eyes.
It was intense and romantic and something total y out of romance stories better
than mine. But what it actual y meant for us, I hadn’t a clue.

“Hey, love,” he said, effectively breaking the tension. “Why don’t you write a story
for me?”

“Real y?” I squeaked. I cleared my throat and tried again. “Real y? Um, what
about?” He turned me again until I was pressed against him and wrapped tightly in
his embrace. His mouth was close to my ear, his breath blowing my hair when he
spoke. “Wel , something with a good guy and a bad guy and a hot chick.”

I snorted and he squeezed me.

“Let me finish.” He pressed a kiss to my temple. “I don’t care what time period or
anything. I mean, they can be fighting dragons or fighting terrorists –

anything you want.”

“Okay,” I said slowly, curious as to what he was up to. “Anything else?”

“The hot chick has to have pretty blonde hair and kick ass blue eyes,” he said and
I could almost feel his smile. It thril ed me to hear him describe her that way – I
knew he was talking about me. “She has to be able to speak her mind but not be a
bitch about it. She has to be smart and fun. And she has to be fil ed with passion.”

I wriggled to my back so I could admire what features I could see in the dark. I
toyed with his bare chest as I spoke. “And the good guy is a musical y talented
man who is incredibly sexy and wonderful and possibly from another country?” He
grinned and kissed me. “Not at al – that’s the bad guy. And I don’t care if he wins
or loses – that doesn’t make a difference.” He shifted and hovered over me,
kissing me again -and again and again – each kiss lasting a little longer than the
previous one. His lips lingered over mine as he whispered: “I just want the bad guy
to get the girl.”

Chapter 11

Tommy was bouncing off the wal s when I walked through the door late Saturday
morning. I was a little grumpy - not in the mood for young boy exuberance

- so I held him off while I tromped to my room and gathered some clothes for a
shower.

I tried not to think about Lucas while I washed my hair and scrubbed my body –
that would only heat me up and force me to turn the water temperature down. And
I was already in a dark mood because I hadn’t wanted to leave him this morning. I
never wanted to leave him in the mornings but today was worse than usual.

Maybe because he woke first and stirred me from sleep with sweet kisses that
eventual y turn hot. Maybe because I just couldn’t seem to get enough of him.
Maybe because my heart saw him as more than just a fling and my brain was
starting to, too.

After I showered and dressed, I headed downstairs where Tommy waited patiently
on his piano stool. Smiling apologetical y, I perched beside him. I pecked his
cheek.

“What’s up, Tommy?”

“I like the new school, Irelyn,” he said, his eyes shining. “I can play the piano al
day.” My mind stuttered as I froze, gawking at him. He smiled gently and I shook
my head to get it started again. “You, what? You like Torrison’s?”

“Aunt Mina took me there. I stil have to do math and reading but I get to play the
piano. And Bobby Luther wil show me around. He plays the piano. He’s ten. He’s
nice. He said he would be my friend.”

“You…you real y like the school?” I asked. He nodded and spun on the bench to
face the piano. “So, you want to go?”

“Yes.” He plucked at the keys absently but I could tel he was itching to play and I
was preventing him from doing so.

“Wel , good,” I said. “Um, okay. I’l get out of your way.”

I found my mother in the kitchen as Tommy’s fingers let loose on the keys. I
grinned at her before giving her a huge hug.

“Tommy is so excited,” my mother said. “And it wil be so good for him. He’s
opened up a lot more to me. Oh, he’s stil very particular, you know – wants his
things arranged just so and keeps to his schedule – but he’s starting to real y open
up.”

“That’s great,” I said, beaming. Maybe Grandfather was right about this school.
Tommy seemed excited and already had a tentative friend. “I’m going to go cal
Dustin. I’ve hardly talked to him al week.”

***

Whispering Winds was decked out in breathtaking Christmas décor. Lighted
garland hung in every doorway as sparkling stars and snowflakes hung from the
ceilings. Huge seven foot Christmas trees decorated a corner in every room, their
fresh, piney scent lingering in the air and reminding everyone of Christmases long
ago.

Al the tables in the dining room sported red or green table cloths with lightly
scented candles flickering on top. Brass reindeer pranced across the mantle of the
huge fireplace as green and red stockings hung in front of the roaring fire.

I detested Whispering Winds but at Christmas – it completely and utterly stole my
heart. The décor was lovely and expensive but also tasteful y done to where you
wished you could decorate your own home the same way.

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” Dustin asked as he escorted me to my grandparents’ table.

“Yes, it is very beautiful,” I concurred. “I’ve always loved the decorations.”

He held my chair for me and I smiled my thanks. I caught my grandfather’s nod of
approval out of the corn
er of my eye as Dustin dropped next to me.

I was only slightly surprised to see Martin and Vivian Summerlin sitting across
from me. They belonged to the club but didn’t make it a routine to eat there every
Saturday.

“Good evening, Mr. and Mrs. Summerlin,” I said with a polite smile. They’d given
me permission long ago to cal them by their given names but I wasn’t al owed to
do so in front of my grandparents. They believed children and young people were
far too familiar with their elders these days and that I should continue to address
the Summerlins formerly until I was married into their family.

“It’s so nice to see you again, dear,” Mrs. Summerlin said. “You and Dustin have
been so busy that I never see the two of you together.” I smiled again. I did
genuinely like Dustin’s mother. She was a warm, caring person who’d passed
some of that to her son. Mr. Summerlin, on the other hand, was a little harder to
please. Oh, we got along just fine – always had, but I always secretly thought that
he was vying to take over my grandfather’s position as most formal, stuffy man
once my grandfather passed. He had a ways to go – but he was getting there.

“Hopeful y things wil settle down during break,” I said. “Then I can come over and
visit if you’d like.”

“I’d like that, dear,” she said.

Grandfather interrupted with an update on Tommy’s school. He announced that
Tommy approved and that he’d start once school resumed in January –

like it mattered or not if Tommy approved.

Tommy ducked his head over his plate, embarrassed to be the center of attention,
and I wished I was sitting closer to him. Mom draped an arm over his shoulder and
he perked. I guess he was opening up.

“See, I told you,” Dustin whispered in my ear. I furrowed my brow, wondering what
he thought he’d told me. If he meant that it would al work out, wel then he was
right. But he wasn’t the one who’d suggested Tommy take a tour and be asked his
opinion.

Stop thinking of Lucas, I ordered my brain. I couldn’t think about him while I was
surrounded by my family and Dustin’s. That seemed almost as bad as the actual
cheating itself.

Dinner couldn’t pass quickly enough for me. I did, however, endure – but not
without costs. My cheeks were aching from forced, fake smiles and my stomach
was stil rumbling. The entrees at the club were large on price but low on
sustenance. I was dying to leave and run through the drive-thru of the nearest fast
food restaurant.

Dustin grinned when he heard my stomach object and leaned in to whisper in my
ear. “As soon as we’re excused, I’l take you for some real food.” His smile
reminded me of the day I met him and how in love I used to be.

Used to be? my brain asked. I, like always, pushed the question aside so I could
force one more smile to my face.

I hated that I had to ask to be excused but that was expected here in the world of
the rich and the posing. Dustin did the honors and my grandfather nodded, a smal
smile toying on his lips. My heart fel to my shoes. Was Dustin intending on
proposing tonight?

He did indeed indulge me with fast food as we took a drive through Indianapolis to
admire the festive displays of light. I forced as much food down as I could since
my once ravenous hunger suddenly evaporated.

We passed the Horse Shoe Club and I wondered if Lucas was playing there
tonight. I knew that he had in the past but I hadn’t asked this morning if he would
be this weekend. An inkling of anger and jealousy swirled in my stomach,
interrupting the digestion of the cheeseburger I’d choked down, as I imagined
Amber there, close to the stage, watching. My fingers itched to scratch her eyes
out and my knuckles longed to punch her – just once.

“Are you listening to me, Irelyn?” Dustin asked.

“Huh?” I said and he chuckled and fumbled for my hand.

“I said, are you excited about Christmas?”

“Oh, no, not real y,” I admitted. “I haven’t even started shopping yet.”

“Wel , it’s close – you’d better hurry.” I smiled at him as we passed under a
streetlight. “I’l help you out and let you know what I’d like for Christmas.” I
suppressed my frustrated groan, hoping he wouldn’t ask for another weekend with
me. I wasn’t exactly sure that I wanted to go away again, much less…

What the hel was I thinking? I don’t want to sleep with my own boyfriend
anymore? What was wrong with me?

“Do you want to know?” he persisted.

“Oh, yeah, sure,” I said with faux enthusiasm. “Lay it on me.”

Chuckling, he kissed the back of my hand. “I’d like for you to honestly consider
marrying me soon.” My heart stopped and my breath came out in little wheezes. I

scrambled to come up with the right thing to say – something that would appease
him but not give him the wrong impression. “Um, Dustin – don’t you think we’re a
little young?”

“No,” he snorted. “Not at al . I figure we can marry in a year or so and live off my
trust fund. You can finish col ege if you want but you won’t have to work.

You can stay home and engage in your little writing hobby.”

“It’s more than a hobby, Dustin,” I said through clenched teeth. “It’s what I love to
do most. I want to be a writer, you know.”

“I know,” he sighed. “I know. But you do realize how hard it is to be published? You
have to be extremely good.”

“How do you know I’m not?” I asked, tears prickling my eyes. “Huh?”

“I’m sure you are, sweetheart,” he said in a patronizing tone. It riled me up more,
making me total y speechless. How could he love me but not know me?

“Dustin, please take me home,” I whispered, too afraid if I put any more effort into
speaking I’d explode.

“Irelyn, come on,” he pleaded. “I’m sorry I upset you, okay? Let’s forget I said
anything about writing or marriage or anything.” But my festive mood was spoiled
– and not just by his words. I just couldn’t muster the energy to fake any
enthusiasm for anything tonight. I just needed to get home to think.

***

The week before finals crashed upon me so suddenly. I crammed al the studying I
could in while enduring pleading phone cal s from Dustin and dreams of Lucas. I
accepted Dustin’s apology just to find a little peace but deep inside, I knew things
were changing. I just didn’t know how much and what I would do about it. Like the
good little procrastinator that I was, I put off thinking about it so I could focus on
my studies.

I wasn’t too concerned with finals because my classes were fairly easy. Stil , I
didn’t want to become too smug and over confident so every night, I cracked the
books. I even told my mother I wouldn’t be home that weekend so I could remain
on campus and utilize the library if needed. She understood seeing as once finals
were finished, I’d be home for three whole weeks.

After I finished my only class Friday morning, I lounged in the dorm, toying with

another story, when Bailey smashed the silence with her presence.

“Good, you’re here,” she said and sank on the corner of my bed. “You’re not going
home this weekend, right?” I shook my head. “Pack a bag, woman.

Lucas is sick and Col in is pul ing his hair out.”

I dropped my pen and scrambled closer to her. “What? What’s wrong with him? Is
he in the hospital? Does he need a kidney?”

“Don’t get al girly and dramatic,” she smirked. “It’s just the flu and he’s home in
bed. They sent him home early from work yesterday and he stayed home today.
They’re not even playing at Rusty’s tonight. He’s just being a whiny baby and
driving Col in crazy – that’s what Spencer told me. I thought that you could go over
there and take care of him and al that crap.”

I nodded as I bit the inside of my cheek. I was pretty prepared for my finals but I
could take my books over there anyway. I wanted to go – was burning to go. He
was probably miserable and needed someone to look after him. His parents were
al the way in Chicago and I was sure that even though Col in loved his brother, he
was probably at the end of his rope. Poor Lucas.

“Okay, let me get some stuff together,” I said. “And I better stop at the store.”
Bailey dug in her purse and grabbed a wad of cash. She crammed it in my bag
with a grin. “Here, the food is on me.” I didn’t say anything as I was torn between
grateful and embarrassed. But she knew I had been dipping into my laptop money
to finish my Christmas shopping.

“Don’t say a word, Irelyn,” she warned, her eyes dark. “You know my parents send
me enough money every month to feed a smal country. Just take it – it’s for the
boys, not you.”

“Fine,” I sighed and gave her a quick hug. “Thanks.”

***

Col in’s huge grin took up most of his face as he ushered me into the house. He
relieved me of the grocery bags and I dropped my bag of clothes and books on
the floor. I fol owed him into the kitchen as he set the bags on the table.

“You are an angel, Irelyn,” he gushed. “What’s al this?”

“Um,” I blushed. “Stuff to make soup. My mom makes a kil er vegetable soup and I
thought I’d make it for Lucas. Plus there’s other stuff in there like orange juice and

cold medicine and things.”

After hugging me again, Col in kissed the top of my head. “My brother is a lucky
man. He’s sleeping right now – I gave him some Tylenol a little while ago because
he was burning up with fever.”

“Is he al right?” I asked as the blood drained from my face. “Did he see a doctor?”
Col in shook his head in amusement. “He’s a man, Irelyn – he doesn’t go to the
doctor unless he’s bleeding profusely or dying.”

“Damn, stubborn men,” I muttered as I helped Col in unpack the groceries. “And I
suppose neither of you got a flu shot, huh?” Col in grinned. “Lucas is afraid of
needles.”

I gawked at him. “Real y?”

“Yep,” Col in said, smug.

“Did you get a flu shot?” I asked.

The smug smile slipped into a sheepish frown. “Um, no. I don’t care for needles,
either.” I shook my head at their idiocy and started preparing the soup. “That’s
stupid. Just don’t look when they give you the injection.” He chuckled and
squeezed my arm. “Hey, um, we’re not playing at Rusty’s tonight, obviously, so do
you mind if I get out of here? I’d rather not be exposed to anymore of Luke’s nasty
germs.”

“Sure, go,” I said with a giggle. He kissed the top of my head as someone knocked
on the door.

“I’l get that,” he announced.

Shrugging carelessly, I continued chopping vegetables. But my ears perked when
I heard a female voice. I dropped the knife, good thing, too, and crept closer to the
kitchen door. My gut twisted as I heard Amber ask Col in about Lucas.

“He’s not up for visitors right now,” Col in explained. “But I’l tel him you stopped
by.”

“Can you give him this?” she asked. I couldn’t see what she wanted Lucas to have
and was sorely tempted to peek. “It’s soup. I made it for him. I hope it helps him to
feel better.”

“Sure,” Col in said, amusement evident in his voice. “No problem.”

“Sorry you guys aren’t playing at Rusty’s tonight. Do you think you wil next week?”

“If none of us are sick,” he said. “Thanks again, Amber, but I have to go. I have to
um, check on Luke. See you around.” As soon as I heard the door shut, I returned
to the vegetables but my hands were trembling, making it rather difficult to chop
food and not fingers.

“Soup. Good. I’m hungry,” I heard Luke’s hoarse voice say. He fol owed Col in into
the kitchen wrapped in his bedspread. His eyes were red with dark circles
underneath, his hair messy, and his face scruffy with whiskers. My heart went out
to him as I longed to just take him in my arms and hold him until he was better.

“Want me to heat it up?” Col in offered.

But Lucas didn’t hear him. His eyes fel on me and a tiny smile started in the
corners of his mouth. “Irelyn, what are you doing here? Don’t you have finals?”

“Not until next week,” I said. I dropped the knife so I could hurry around the table
to him. “You should be in bed,” I fussed as I held my hand to his hot forehead.

“But I’m hungry,” he whined. “Someone brought soup.”

Col in asked for my cel phone and I handed it to him as I tried to urge Lucas back
to bed. “I’l heat the soup up and make you a sandwich, if you want,” I said. He
nodded but plopped into a chair, refusing to leave the kitchen. I sighed and poured
him a glass of juice.

“Okay,” Col in said as he handed me my phone. “My cel and Spencer’s cel are in
there. Cal me if you need me. You have everything under control so I’m out of
here.” He stopped in front of Lucas to place a hand on his brother’s shoulder.
“You’re in good hands, bro, but cal me if you need me. I’m going to hang out with
Spencer tonight. I’l check on you later.”

“Yeah, yeah, get out of here wuss,” Lucas teased. Col in squeezed his shoulder
and left.

I heated up the soup Amber brought and fixed a gril ed cheese sandwich. I placed
it in front of Lucas but he just kept staring at me.

“Eat,” I ordered as I returned to the vegetables. His gaze was heavy, weighing me
down, and I couldn’t look at it anymore.

“What are you making?”

“My mom’s vegetable soup. It’s real y good when she makes it but I can do an
okay job,” I said, my back to him.

“I bet it’s great,” he said. I heard him pick up his spoon and stir his soup. “Did you
make this?”

“No,” I snorted. “Amber dropped it off.”

“You’re kidding,” he groaned. I turned around to shake my head at him. He tried to
smile. “I wonder if it’s poisoned.”

“I doubt it,” I said. “She’s feeding it to you, not me.”

“Thank you for coming, Irelyn,” he said as he set his spoon down. “I wanted you
here but I didn’t want to cal and ask. I know you have to study.”

“I’m ready for my finals, don’t worry.”

When I finished chopping the vegetables, I dumped them into the huge pot on the
stove. I added the other ingredients and stirred, watching the concoction bubble.

“You know, this is sort of what I imagined it would be like if you would have been
pregnant,” he said. The wooden spoon in my hand fel in the soup and I cursed as
the hot liquid scorched my skin when I tried to dig the spoon out. “Are you al
right?”

“Fine,” I said with a tight smile. My heart was hammering while my brain tried to
process what he’d said.

“I didn’t mean to upset you,” he said as he took a bite of the sandwich. “But I did
think about it. It didn’t seem too bad, either – you and the baby living here with me.
I tried to figure what it would cost to hire a nanny to look after the tyke while you
were in school and I was at work – that is until you final y got published and could
stay home and write al day.” I didn’t have to glance over my shoulder to know he
was smiling. “I imagine it would have been hard trying to write between feedings
and diaper changes but I didn’t see you as the type to hire ful -time help. I figured
you’d want to take care of our child by yourself.”

My heart melted as tears col ected behind my eyes. While I’d been trying to figure
out how to pass a possible pregnancy off on Dustin, Lucas had been making
financial arrangements for me and the baby.

“Luke, we don’t have to worry about that now,” I whispered, unable to face him. “It
didn’t happen.”

“Come here,” he said. I shut off the fire under the soup, set the spoon on the
stove, and nearly ran to his arms. He pul ed me on his lap and wrapped me in the
blanket he stil wore around his shoulders. He kissed my hair as I rested my cheek
on his wheezy chest. “I know it didn’t happen and I’m relieved, actual y – it would

have been tough. But, it would have been a little nice, too.” I closed my eyes,
imagining the scene he must have been imagining and I had to agree – it would
have been a little nice.

Chapter 12

Lucas raved over my soup that evening, making me blush, and ate two bowls
before declaring he was ful . His fever was down – thanks to the Tylenol –

and he was in a bit of a playful mood.

I coaxed him back to bed by promising I’d stay with him while he watched a movie.
Once I settled him under the blankets, he directed me to a stack of DVDs in a rack
near his dresser. I glanced at the titles and groaned.

“Are you serious, Lucas?” I complained as I yanked one out of the rack and held it
up for his inspection. “’Good Wil Humping’? Is this al porn?” His laughter turned
into a coughing fit. I dropped the DVD and retrieved a cold glass of water. He took
it from me once his coughing stopped and drained it. Once he set the glass on the
nightstand, he yanked me on the bed next to him.

“I have not watched a single second of porn since you entered my life,” he
whispered, his voice scratchy. “I haven’t needed to watch it.” My cheeks blazed as
I buried my face in his chest. He chuckled cautiously and rubbed my back.

“I suppose there are porn magazines under your mattress?” I asked as I
recovered from embarrassment.

“Nah,” he smirked, his face stil too pale for my liking. “I don’t live at home with my
mother anymore, love, no need to hide it. It’s in the nightstand. Check for
yourself.”

I rol ed my eyes. “And I suppose you only read it for the articles?”

“Certainly,” he said with a mock air of innocence. He grabbed the closed notebook
on the nightstand and handed it to me. “I’ve been reading this but I’m done. Do
you have more?”

My blush returned as I thought about the rather graphic stories I’d written since he
entered my life - and he caught on quickly.

“Irelyn!” he gasped, coughed, then gasped again. “Are you writing naughty stories
now?”

“Just shut up, Lucas, before I make you OD on cough medicine,” I threatened. He
just laughed until he col apsed into another coughing fit. I refil ed his water glass
and stood over the bed until his coughs subsided. He took a drink then fel back
into the mattress.

“I hate feeling like shit,” he said as he closed his eyes. I sank on the edge and
placed a hand on his forehead. “We have a thermometer somewhere, I know. Col
in threatened to …wel let’s just say my brother offered to take my temperature the
most accurate way.” I snorted a laugh before dashing to the bathroom to hunt for a
thermometer. I found one and forced Lucas to stick it in his mouth. I frowned at the
numbers as I checked the sheet of paper where I recorded what meds I’d given
him and what times.

“Your fever is going up already and you can’t have any Tylenol for two more
hours.”

“I’m just hot because you’re here,” he said weakly as he reached for me. I brushed
his hair off his forehead. “I’m fine, Irelyn. A fever has a purpose – it’s supposed to
burn off al the nasty little bacteria and stuff.”

“I know,” I whispered, stil worried. I kissed his forehead.

“There are regular movies in the living room, love. Why don’t you get one and we
can watch it,” he suggested. I kissed his forehead again and went to fetch a
movie. I had to smirk – I hadn’t even noticed that Lucas had a television and a
DVD player in his bedroom before today. I’d always been too occupied.

***

I woke early the next morning a little groggy and irritable. Lucas had had a rough
night – waking often either because of a coughing fit or because his fever made
him so uncomfortable. I did the best I could for him but he was so miserable that it
broke my heart.

I scrambled some eggs and made toast, cursing myself for forgetting bacon or
sausage when I’d gone to the store. I poured him a huge glass of orange juice as I
dished out the toast and eggs and took it to the bedroom. He was propped against
the headboard watching the news. He smiled feebly at me as I set his plate on the
night stand.

“Good morning,” I said as I placed a hand on his forehead.

“Yeah, the morning sucks,” he grumbled. Grabbing my wrist, he ripped my hand
off his forehead. “Come back to bed.”

“You should eat,” I said as I forced him to lean forward so I could fluff his pil ows.
“And I’m not feeding you so suck it up and be a man.” His brows dipped wel over
his eyes as a tiny smirk appeared on his face. “Be a man?”

“Yeah,” I said as I set his plate on his lap. “Eat or you’l never get better. And if you
don’t get better – no more showers for you.”

“Showers? What are you talking about, love?” I tilted my head, flashing my ‘are
you kidding me’ look. His face relaxed into a smile that made his eyes crinkle. “Ah,
you’re saying that I can’t have you until I’m better, are you?”

“Yes,” I confirmed. “That’s what I’m saying.”

“I bet I could convince you otherwise,” he said in his raspy voice as his hand shot
up my pajama shirt and grazed my skin. I sucked in a breath and closed my eyes.

“Lucas,” I threatened.

“Come on, love,” he said. “That’s probably the best medicine.”

“You didn’t even want me until I mentioned it,” I said as my eyes flew open. I
removed his hand and set it in his lap. “Now eat.”

“I want you al the time,” he growled, but he behaved, obediently picking up his
fork. I watched him eat everything and finish the juice before taking the dishes
away.

“Aren’t you going to eat?” he cal ed after me. I dutiful y tossed a couple pieces of
bread in the toaster as I cleaned up the kitchen. Once I finished my meager
breakfast, I grabbed the cold meds and the Tylenol and began doling out dosages.
He groaned and whined like a child but took everything anyway.

He dozed on and off most of the day which was a relief. He tried to be himself and
keep me entertained but mostly he was pretty irritable. And insufferable. But I
wouldn’t leave him.

He insisted on watching some trashy talk show and insisted I watch it with him.
Relenting, I sat against the headboard while he rested his head in my lap.

My heart swel ed as I ran my hands through his hair and watched as he drifted off
to sleep. He was causing so much turmoil in my heart and I knew that sooner or
later I’d have to make a decision.

The television station advertised some Christmas show going on downtown and
gave me an idea. The boys had nothing whatsoever in their apartment that
indicated they even knew it was December, let alone Christmas. But those times
that I’d sat out in the cold garage while they’d rehearsed, my eyes had wandered
and I’d spotted several boxes marked ‘Christmas’.

I eased out from under Lucas and tiptoed out of the room. I threw on my shoes
before slipping on his coat. I grabbed the garage key off the hook near the back
door.

As I shifted through the boxes, I was startled by another presence.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you,” Tori apologized. “I saw you come in here and I
figured you were probably digging out the boys’ Christmas stuff. I came to see if
you needed help.”

“Oh, I do, thanks,” I said. “Um, is any of it yours?”

“No, I put al my stuff up ages ago. The boys…” she rol ed her pretty eyes. “The
boys wait until the last minute or until I nag them about it.” She grabbed a box and
pointed at another one. “This is al they have besides their artificial tree. We’l both
need to carry that.” We carried the boxes in the house and stacked them in the
living room. She peeked in the bedroom with a smile. “How is Lucas feeling?” she
whispered.

“He’s a big crybaby,” I said softly. “But he’s getting better.”

“Good,” she said as we retrieved the Christmas tree. She helped me haul it into
the living room then grimaced. “Wel , I’l leave you at it. If you need anything just
hol er.”

“Thank you, Tori,” I said. She smiled again and slipped out the front door. Sighing,
I planted my fists on my hips as I surveyed the boxes.

“What’s going on?” Lucas asked as he stumbled into the living room in a pair of
jeans and an open shirt.

“Button your shirt, Luke,” I said, clucking my tongue. “You already have a fever.”

“I’m trying to look sexy and seduce you,” he quipped with a crinkly-eyed grin. “Is it
working?”

“No,” I said as I quickly worked the buttons and turned my back on him. “Go back

to sleep,” I ordered. He ignored my order by wrapping his arms around my waist.
“You need to be in bed.”

“And you need to be with me,” he whined. I shook my head so he released me
and kissed my cheek, his whiskers tickling me. “I need a shower. Want to help?”

“No,” I said.

“Come on,” he wheedled, turning me to face him. “You can wash my back.”

“Not happening, buddy,” I said.

He jutted out his bottom lip. “Want to wash my front?”

“Lucas,” I threatened.

“Fine,” he mumbled. He kissed my nose and stumbled back to the bedroom. “Give
me a second and I’l help you with that stuff.” Opening a box, I started rifling
through the contents as the shower started. Taking a deep breath, I ignored my
body’s longing to join him. He was sick and didn’t need to tax himself.

He returned a little bit later in clean clothes and a shaven face. He jerked me to
his chest and rubbed his cheeks al over mine. “Better?”

“Yeah and you smel better, too,” I said.

Releasing me with a frown, he lifted an arm to sniff at his pit. I shoved him in mock
disgust as I turned back to the mess surrounding me.

He took the tree out of the box and assembled it quickly. Just as I located the
ornaments, the door flew open to admit Col in. He stood in the doorway, blinking at
us in disbelief.

“Ah, perfect timing, bro,” Lucas said as he sank to the sofa. The dark circles under
his eyes were more pronounced by his pale face. “We were about to decorate the
tree.”

“You look a little better,” Col in observed as he removed his coat and tossed it
aside.

“I smel better, too,” he announced proudly, shooting me a wink. “Or so Irelyn
says.” Col in laughed as he rol ed up his sleeves. “Wel , let’s get to work.”

I couldn’t remember ever having a better time. Al of their ornaments came from
their mother and they al seemed to have some story behind them – most of them
hilarious. I was starting to feel a little sympathetic toward their mother – her life

must have been near hel raising very active twin boys.

I realized that I real y wanted to meet her. But how would Lucas introduce me? Not
as his girlfriend but as his what – lover? Fling? Piece on the side?

“What are you doing for Christmas, Irelyn?” Col in asked.

I sighed, blowing a puff of air at my hair. “Wel , Christmas Eve wil be spent at my
grandparents’ house. Christmas I’l spend with my mom and my cousin.”

“And when wil you see Dustin?” Lucas asked, earning a dark glare from his
brother.

I ducked my head to study the minute star ornament in my hands. “Um, I don’t
know.”

“Trouble in paradise?” Col in asked quietly.

“I don’t know,” I said just as quiet. “I’d prefer not to talk about it if you don’t mind.”

“Not at al ,” Col in said. I flashed him a grateful smile. “So, do we get to see you on
Christmas?” My heart stumbled and ached to say yes. “Um, I don’t know. I hope
so.”

“We’l be here that night,” Lucas said softly from the sofa, his voice a little drowsy.
“We should be back from the parents’ house around seven.”

“And you need to be in bed, bro,” Col in said as a deep groove developed on his
forehead. “You look like shit.”

“Remember, you’re my twin,” Lucas said as his eyes fluttered shut.

“Fraternal and I’m the good looking one,” Col in said as he threw me a glance. I
handed him the ornament as I sank next to Lucas.

“Come on, big man,” I said as I kissed his warm forehead. “Let’s get you in bed.”

“Only if you get naked,” he said as he slouched. He yawned and coughed. “I don’t
want to move otherwise.” I placed my lips near his ear, grinning. “I’l tuck you in and
maybe, if you’re good, I’l give you a sponge bath tomorrow.” He cracked an eye
open and frowned. He covered his mouth as he coughed. “Seriously?” I nodded.
His lips curled in a satisfied smile as he heaved his body off the couch. “Good
night, bro.”

“Yeah, sleep, Luke,” he said as he smiled at me.

I seized Lucas’s arm and helped him to the bedroom. He shed his clothes before
climbing into his bed in his boxers. I hauled the blankets up to his chin and kissed
his cheek. He grabbed my hand as I started to move away, gently tugged me back
to the bed.

“I appreciate this, Irelyn.”

My heart fluttered as I kissed him, not caring that he was sick. I smoothed the
bangs off his forehead, my heart in my throat and preventing speech. I nodded
and he released me as his eyes fluttered shut.

When I returned to the living room, Col in had already started clearing the boxes.
“I can help,” I said.

“Nah,” he said as he tossed the boxes near the back door. I fol owed and opened
the refrigerator. Finding a beer, I opened it and handed it to Col in. He grinned
before taking a long drink. “Thanks for taking care of him. He’s a big baby – just
like I know I am when I’m sick.”

“He wasn’t that bad,” I said as I smiled fondly.

“Sit down, Irelyn,” Col in said. He retrieved another beer, opened it, and handed it
to me before joining me at the table. He peeled at the label on his bottle as he
considered his words. I was too afraid of what he had to say to encourage him.

“Irelyn,” he said with a sigh. “I promised myself that I would stay out of Lucas’s
business. And I have,” he said with a feeble grin. “It’s just that, I don’t think this
thing between you two is just a … I don’t know – whatever it was. I think it’s more.”
Taking my bottom lip between my teeth, I nodded. I didn’t know what to say. If he
was expecting me to define what it was between Lucas and me, then he’d have a
long wait.

“I’m not talking to you now to beg you for answers or demand you make a choice,”
he continued. “I’m just worried about both of you. Lucas never real y dated anyone
seriously. Oh, he’s had girlfriends but they never lasted long. But he’s different with
you. He doesn’t even notice other girls anymore. When that Amber chick gave me
her number to pass along, he never took it. It sat on the kitchen table until I threw
it away.” That tidbit of information did funny things to my heart. “Col in,” I said,
feeling that I needed to add something to the conversation. “I don’t know what to
say. I like Lucas – a lot. I just don’t know what to do about things.”

“I know, darling,” he said with sympathy in his eyes. “I can see it. That’s why I
thought I’d talk to you. I tried talking to my hard-headed brother but he insists that I
not try to make rules – he said you didn’t want any.”

“I don’t know what I want,” I whispered as tears prickled my eyes.

Col in reached across the table to pat my hand. “I’m not asking you to figure that
out right now. I just wanted to…get this off my chest, I guess. I love my brother
and have become quite fond of you. I’d rather not see either of you hurt.” He
patted my hand again and finished his beer. “I’m not trying to put any more
pressure on you but I think that the answer is right in front of your face.” His last
comment set my head spinning. What the hel did he mean? If the stupid answer
was right in front of me, then how come I hadn’t found it yet? Why was I going
through al this crap?

Easy, I thought. You don’t want to give either one up.

“You should get some rest while he is,” Col in suggested. “I’l take care of dinner.”
Nodding, I shuffled off to the bedroom. I curled up next to Lucas and let al my
worries slowly drift away.

***

The Sunday morning sun refused to wake, making the day start out gray and
gloomy. But Lucas’s fever had final y broken during the night and the congestion in
his chest was clearing. He claimed he felt more human as he sat at the kitchen
table while Col in whipped up a batch of pancakes.

He looked better, too, and the relief in my heart radiated on my face.

He convinced me to spend the day with him, going so far as to locate my books
and notes to quiz me for my finals. Of course, he constantly reminded me of the
promise I’d made the night before. Once I was certain he was wel enough – and
when Col in left to meet up with friends – I made good on that promise. Natural y,
the sponge bath ended with me gasping in his bed.

He insisted on ordering dinner and forced me to eat with him before I returned to
school. He sat very close to me, chattering excitedly about the upcoming holidays.
He was like a little boy when he spoke of spending time with his family. He and Col
in intended on driving to Chicago on Christmas Eve to spend the night at his
parents’ house.

I envied him. Not that Christmas with my mother and Tommy was bad – on the
contrary, it was usual y wonderful. I just dreaded spending Christmas Eve with my
grandparents. And I wasn’t exactly looking forward to seeing Dustin.

After dinner, I helped Lucas clean up and made sure he took his cold medicine. I
gathered my things which had somehow become strewn al around the apartment.
Lucas didn’t help – he did everything he could to prolong my stay.

“Luke,” I whined. “I have to go.”

He gathered me in his arms with a smile, making his eyes crinkle. “Come stay with
me while you’re on break.” My heart danced for joy but my brain chastised it. “I
don’t know if I’l be able to,” I said. His smile fel along with my heart. “But I’l try.” He
kissed me long and hard that I nearly shoved him back to his bedroom. But I
remained strong. “Try. If you can’t, I’l understand. This weekend has been
amazing.”

“But you were sick,” I pointed out unnecessarily.

“Yeah, but you were here. And I got a sponge bath.”

I blushed al the way to my toes and he just kissed me again. “I have to go,” I
whispered.

“I know.”

“See you Friday.”

“I hope.”

Sighing, I fel into his arms. I didn’t want to leave. He held me and rubbed my back.
When he final y released me, he walked me to my car, kissed me, and shoved me
into the seat. “Drive safe, love.”

I smiled at him as I started the engine. When I pul ed away, a thought smacked
me in the face.

I was very much in love with Lucas.

Chapter 13

I breezed through my finals with smug satisfaction and when the girls joined me in
the dorm room Thursday afternoon, I begged them to take me Christmas shopping
to celebrate. Agreeing, we grabbed our bags and happily piled in Bailey’s car.

I’d already purchased gifts for my family and even ordered an expensive law
encyclopedia that Dustin wanted using the al owance my grandfather had given
me. But I had a stash of cash that I’d earned babysitting and working at my mom’s

pub. That was the money I had in my wal et – the money I would use to buy
Lucas’s gift.

Bailey found a great music store downtown and I browsed through everything,
wanting to find the perfect gift. When I reached a rack of t-shirts, I nearly lost my
breath. They were lovely – vintage, long-sleeved band t-shirts – the kind Lucas
loved. I found two that I liked the best - ones I thought would bring out his eyes -
and draped them over my arm. I chewed on my lip as I considered the rack,
choosing two more – one for Col in and one for Spencer.

Once I made my purchases, I blushed as I thought about what I real y wanted to
get for Lucas. I sheepishly told Bailey and her eyes lit up brighter than the
Christmas lights in every shop window as she herded me and Morgan to the car.
She drove for about fifteen minutes, leaving the downtown area. She parked in
front of a seedy building with an adult novelty sign in the window. I giggled as
Morgan’s cheeks turned such a deep shade of red. Bailey gleeful y led us inside
and my face turned the same color as Morgan’s.

“Here,” Bailey said, dragging me by the hand to a display of lingerie. “Ta da!”

I rol ed my eyes but immediately began shifting through the lace and silk. Most of
it was sort of trashy, leaving little to the imagination. I was sure Lucas would
appreciate it but I wanted something to knock him out of his boots.

“Oh, this one is pretty,” Morgan cooed. She held up a hanger and I had to agree. It
was perfect. Made of a satiny material, it was longer than the others and looked
like it would cling to my body but not show everything off. And it was black. I
imagined walking into Lucas’s bedroom wearing it and the hungry smile on his
face.

“Yes, this is it,” I said as I grabbed it. “This is just what I want.”

We strol ed around the store as Bailey wanted to check everything out. I stopped
before a shelf of assorted condoms, giggling as I grabbed a box of multi-colored
ones and hid it under the nightie.

Bailey laughed when I set my things on the counter but I refused to blush. I paid
for my things and hurried to the car. Bailey exited a few minutes later with a smal
bag and a big smirk. I wondered what she had in store for Spencer. But I definitely
did not want to ask.

When we got back to the dorm, I wrapped my gifts, shoving them into the bag I’d
packed to take home. I did not want my mother to see them and question me.

I’d promised my mother that I would return home on Saturday morning as I wanted
to spend Friday night with my friends since they would be going home and I

wouldn’t see them for a couple of weeks. She understood, natural y. Of course we
planned on going to Rusty’s to see Out Back and I would spend the night at
Lucas’s.

He’d cal ed me Wednesday, sounding much better. I couldn’t wait to see for myself
-especial y after my realization that I loved him. I stil had no clue what I was going
to do but I did know that I wanted to be with him more than ever.

Dustin, too, had cal ed and droned on about al the wonderful activities we could
do over the break. He whined that we hadn’t spent nearly enough time together
and a twinge of guilt flared in my chest. I promised him we’d get together Saturday
and ended the phone cal before I lapsed in a mound of tears.

Christmas fel on a Monday but I hadn’t yet figured out what excuse I would use to
get out of the house to see Lucas. Bailey lived up north, close to the Michigan
state line and Morgan lived about an hour away so I didn’t think I could use either
of them. I’d have to come up with something.

Rusty’s wasn’t nearly as crowded as usual when we arrived so we were able to
take our regular table – the boys had reserved it for us anyway. We ordered drinks
and my body trembled in anticipation of seeing Lucas again.

When the guys appeared and started setting up their equipment, my body burned
as I watched Lucas help with the drum kit. It didn’t take them long to set up and
once they were finished, they joined us at our table.

When Lucas sat next to me, it took al my strength to keep from throwing my body
at him. His lips formed a smirk as his eyes fol owed the conversation going on at
the table. He rested a hand on my knee causing me to nearly jump out of my skin.

“Um, feeling better?” I asked.

He turned his eyes on me, making my heart race. His smirk softened as he
nodded. “Much, thanks to you.” He leaned his head close to mine. “But I might
need another sponge bath later.”

As the heat crept up my neck, al I could do was nod. Chuckling, he quickly pecked
my cheek. My blush increased and I wished his show was over already.

“Let’s go, bro,” Col in said as Rusty signaled it was time for them to go on. Lucas
gave my knee a squeeze then fol owed Col in and Spencer to the stage.

As they played, Lucas’s gaze constantly fel on me, making my heart flip. His eyes
were ful of something I didn’t recognize – but I liked. My breath came in rasps and
I couldn’t stop looking at him. As my feelings for him were reinforced, I knew, then,
that I’d have to end things with Dustin.

But, would Lucas want me for more than just a sex partner? Did he want us to be
together? I had to find out but no matter his answer, I stil needed to break up with
Dustin. I couldn’t be with him if I loved someone else. And I would have to do it
during break – no need to prolong things.

A weight lifted off my shoulders al owing me to relax as Lucas crooned on stage. I
wasn’t ready to tel anyone my decision yet – I would respect Dustin and tel him
first. Then I would run to Lucas, offering myself up to him, and pray he wanted
something more substantial than our current arrangement.

Amber showed up during their second set but she didn’t bother me nearly as
much as usual. She was accompanied by Hol y and they pul ed up a couple chairs
and joined our table.

Doing my best to ignore her, I focused on Lucas. I was sorely tempted to latch on
to him when he joined us but I just couldn’t. I’d already caused enough damage to
Dustin – even though he wasn’t aware of it yet – and I needed to at least respect
him enough to end things before staking a claim on another man.

The band finished their set and began tearing down the equipment. I fidgeted in
my chair, anxious for Lucas to whisk me away to his apartment.

But he didn’t seem nearly as anxious as me because he fol owed his brother to
the bar, grabbed a beer, and chatted with Rusty. I fumed as Amber watched him, a
longing in her eyes I recognized every time I looked in the mirror.

When they final y made it to our table, I was on the edge of my seat. I was so
jumpy that when Lucas sat his beer on the table I nearly fel to the floor. He raised
a curious brow at me but I just smiled.

“So, what are you guys doing tonight?” Amber asked.

A lazy smile graced Col in’s face as he rested his elbows on the table. “We’re just
going home to bed. We’re heading out in the morning for our parents’

place.”

“Oh,” Amber said as her face fel . “That’s too bad. I’m going home tomorrow and I
won’t see you guys until the new term starts.”

“What a pity,” Spencer said with suppressed laughter. Bailey nudged him in the
ribs with her elbow.

“Are you going to hang out here for awhile?” she asked, her hopeful eyes on
Lucas.

“Nah,” he said with mock regret. “We real y need to get home and pack.”

“And we’re out of here, too,” Bailey announced as she scooted her chair away
from the table. “Girls?”

“Huh?” I asked as I glanced at her. She lifted her brows at me. “Oh, yeah, let’s go.”
Rising to her feet, Morgan tugged on my arm, forcing me out of my chair. “Have a
nice holiday, Amber.” My mind whirred as Morgan ushered me out of the bar,
Bailey right behind us. I frowned as the cold, snowy air hit us and shook Morgan
off my arm. I stopped, crossing my arms over my chest.

“What the hel ?” I demanded.

“Oh, just scamper along to Lucas’s truck,” Bailey said with a laugh. “If we didn’t al
leave, Amber would just leech on and never let go. Now hurry, before she has
enough time to think about fol owing him.”

They both hugged me and kissed my cheeks, wishing me happy holidays. I
smiled, hugged them again, and ran to Lucas’s truck. A thril shot through me when
I spotted him leaning against his truck, talking quietly to Col in. When I reached
him, I looped my arm through his.

He kissed me quickly and grinned, his eyes crinkling. “You’re staying with me
tonight, right?” I lifted a shoulder. “I thought you had to pack?”

His grin widened as he patted my hand. “Yeah, that’s why you’re staying with me.”
I rol ed my eyes as he pul ed me into an embrace. I sank into him and my body
heaved a sigh of satisfaction. With his arms around me, I was very much content
to stay there for the rest of my life.

“Lucas!”

I jumped back, startled by the sound of Amber’s shout.

“Oh, um, hi Irelyn,” she said as she eyed me suspiciously for a moment before
shifting her eyes to Lucas. “Um, I just wanted to ask you …” she glanced at me
again and smiled. “Do you mind if I talk to Lucas alone for a second?”

I did mind – very much so – but I shrugged and stepped toward the back of the
truck with Col in. I strained to eavesdrop but I couldn’t hear what she was saying.
My fists clenched of their own accord causing Col in to chuckle. I ignored him as I
observed the body language. Amber was standing far too close and Lucas was
wearing an amused smirk.

I rested an elbow on the truck, tapping my fingers relentlessly.

“Chil , Irelyn,” Col in said. “He doesn’t like her – he’s just being polite.”

“I know,” I said through clenched teeth.

Amber smiled, touching Lucas’s arm softly, exciting my fury. I grabbed the tailgate,
squeezing hard enough to cause a twinge of pain in my knuckles.

Col in laughed.

When Amber took a few steps away from Lucas, I relaxed my grip on the truck.
Col in patted my shoulder, opening his mouth to speak, when we both were
startled as Bailey whipped her car around the corner and jumped out.

“Yo, Irelyn! You left your bag in the car and I figured you’d want it if you’re staying
with Lucas,” she smirked. Her smirk fel when she noticed Amber. Horror washed
over his face and my knees nearly gave.

Amber’s face registered shock as her astonished eyes fel first on Lucas then on
me.

“I mean…” Bailey stuttered.

I shook out of my trance as I removed my bag from Bailey’s hands. The damage
was done and very soon, I wouldn’t have to hide anyway. Besides, Amber didn’t
know I had a boyfriend. Why not?

“Thanks, Bailey,” I said. Hugging her, I whispered in her ear: “Don’t worry about it
– it’s fine. It’s about time she realizes that he’s not available.” Bailey eased back, a
proud glint in her eyes. “Merry Christmas.” Waving, she hopped into her car.

Taking a deep breath, I turned to smile at the group behind me. “You ready?”

The slow grin that spread across Lucas’s mouth was perfect. He relieved me of
my bag and tossed it in the back of his truck before opening the door. I slipped
past him into the truck, him right behind me.

As we drove, my heart started pounding. What had I done? Would she somehow
spread it around campus that Lucas and I were an item? Would Dustin find out?
Or maybe she’d forget about it by the time the new term started. But it wouldn’t
matter, though – I was going to break up with Dustin anyway.

“You okay, love?” Lucas asked.

“Yeah,” I said as I patted his leg. “Screw it, right? I’m tired of her always hanging
on you.” He chuckled as he eased his arm around my shoulders. “Good.”

It was on the tip of my tongue to tel him how I felt and to let him in on my newest
plan, but I didn’t say a word. I was ridiculously afraid that I’d jinx everything.

“Um, so what did she want to talk to you about anyway?”

He laughed. “She wanted me to go to some party with her next weekend. I told her
I had plans.” When we got to his place, he carried everything inside and dropped it
in his bedroom. Fol owing, I tackled him to his bed.

“Whoa, love,” he laughed. “A little anxious, are we?”

“I missed you al week,” I said as I lay on top of him.

He brushed my hair behind my ears. “You don’t have to wait until Friday, you
know. You can come over anytime you want.”

“I had finals this week, remember?”

“How’d you do?”

I shrugged. “I think I did wel .”

He wrapped an arm around me, holding me against him as he scooted up toward
the pil ows. He kissed the tip of my nose. “What classes are you taking next
term?”

I chatted freely about what I was taking and how excited I was about the new
classes. We talked for nearly forty-five minutes before I realized that we hadn’t
even undressed. But I liked how we could get lost in conversation and not just in
the sheets. And I think he did, too, because when I final y yawned, he shifted me
off of him so he could stand.

“Why don’t you get ready for bed?” he asked as he pul ed his t-shirt over his head
and kicked off his jeans.

I rol ed off the bed to dig through my bag, looking for pajamas. Of course I didn’t
pack any – never real y needed them. Sighing, I smiled over my shoulder at him. I
opened his top drawer where I knew he kept his t-shirts and grabbed one.

“You look so good in my clothes,” he said as I crawled over him. When he shut off
the light, I snuggled into his side, trailing my fingers lightly over his bare chest.
“So, wil you come over Christmas night?”

“Yes,” I said as my eyes started to droop. “Somehow I’l be here.”

“Don’t cause any trouble on my account,” he whispered.

I propped my head on my hand and ran my fingers along his jaw. “Lucas?”

“Hm?”

I smiled as light from the street lamp filtered through the blinds, touching his face.
“Do you…did you…think that I was…you know…easy?” His eyes remained closed
but his face screwed up in confusion. “Easy?”

“Yeah,” I whispered, fighting the embarrassment that threatened to make me hang
my head. “Easy. Because I slept with you that first night and I didn’t even know
you.” I cupped his cheek, the uncomfortable silence nearly stifling. “And practical y
every weekend after that.” He chuckled quietly as he placed his hand over mine.
“Of course I don’t think you’re easy. I never did. I just thought the chemistry
between us was too strong for either of us to fight.” He rol ed to his side to kiss
me. “I’ve never felt that sort of thing with anyone – not likely I ever wil .” Emotion
stuck in my throat and rendered me speechless. I struggled to speak, to tel him
how I real y felt. “I…me either.” Although my words were weak, he understood
their meaning. As if in slow motion, we each moved – me to my back and him over
me. I shivered in anticipation and when his lips final y touched mine, everything
inside me burst like the grand finale at a fireworks display.

He moved slowly, his lips lingering on mine. His hands were unhurried and soft as
he slipped the t-shirt over my head. I trembled as he captured my mouth again.
His kiss was gentle and tender with a taste of passion.

We didn’t explode but came together deliberately, leisurely exploring each other as
if we’d never been intimate. And as we peaked, I clung to his shoulders, my face
buried in the crook of his neck, crying happily, because I was where I belonged.
And I final y knew it.

He held me close to his chest as our hearts slowed, his fingers tangled in my hair.
Kissing me again, he squeezed me. “Good night, love.”

***

Dustin was waiting for me at my house when I got home late Saturday morning.
He nearly jumped on me when I walked in the door.

“Irelyn, is something wrong with your phone?” he asked as he took my shoulders.
His eyes were shining and my curiosity grew.

“No, why?” I asked. I’d turned it off last night when I was at Lucas’s and had
forgotten to turn it on again.

“I’ve been trying to cal you al morning,” he said, taking my hand, leading me to the
sofa, not even al owing me to remove my coat. “I need to talk to you.”

“Where is my mother? And Tommy?” I asked, confused.

“They ran to the store,” he said. “Your mother said I could wait for you.”

Unzipping my coat, I slipped my arms out while excitement radiated off of him. It
frightened me a little and dread lined my stomach. “What’s going on?” He took my
hand and kissed my cheek. “My father surprised us this morning,” he said. “We’re
going to Europe with my father’s family for the holiday break.”

“You’re…what?” I asked.

“My cousin is getting married this spring and I guess my parents figure it’s just a
matter of time until you and I marry so they wanted to get the entire family together
this year.”

His smile was bril iant and I wondered what this was supposed to mean. “You’re
leaving?”

“Oh, sweetheart,” he cooed as he hugged me. “I’m sorry I won’t be here to spend
the holidays with you but this is a great opportunity. Besides, I’l be back before
your birthday, I promise.”

I knew I should tel him that I wanted to end things but I just couldn’t. I couldn’t ruin
the trip for him nor could I erase that shine in his eyes. Biting back my words, I
nodded. “It’s okay, real y. Um, let me get your gift.”

“Okay,” he said. “But we have to hurry. We’re leaving tonight and I don’t have al
my things together yet.” When I returned with his gift, I handed it to him. He oohed
and aahed over the encyclopedia like I knew he would. My heart stil ed as he
retrieved his coat and dug in his pocket. He handed me a smal , store-wrapped
package.

My hands trembled as I accepted it and careful y tore the paper. I admired the
pretty pink box momentarily before nervously pinching it open, holding my breath.
It left me in a gush of relief when my eyes fel on a dainty pair of diamond earrings
nestled on a bed of velvet.

“They’re beautiful,” I said, my voice a little high. He took it as excitement over his
gift and he kissed me.

“I’m glad you like them,” he said, smiling. “I, um, wanted to give you a ring but I
knew you weren’t ready for that so I had to settle for the next best thing.”

“Oh,” I said, stunned. “Wel , I love the earrings.”

“I’m glad,” he said, checking his watching as he got to his feet. “I have to go. I’m
sorry I have to leave but I promise to make it up to you on your birthday.” He
winked and squeezed my arm. “I’m already working on it.”

“Don’t go to any trouble,” I objected. I hated al the attention.

“It’s no trouble,” he said, pecking my cheek. “Have a great Christmas, sweetheart.
I’l see you in a couple weeks.” He left me standing frozen in the middle of the
living room. Relief joined me but so did anxiety. I hadn’t broken up with Dustin and
I let him walk away believing things were fine. But I just couldn’t break his heart
right before his trip. I’d have to do it when he came home.

I sank to the sofa, staring at the Christmas tree. As much as it pained me to string
Dustin, I couldn’t help but be relieved that he was gone and that I could put things
off a little longer.

Chapter 14

Christmas Eve was pleasant enough considering I spent it at my grandparents’
house in front of a roaring fire in their luxurious den. Grandmother had been in a
festive mood, actual y doting on Tommy and I like we had a warm, loving
relationship.

Grandfather had handed out gifts, as was the norm, and my main gift had
consisted of a receipt for my next semester’s tuition. Grandmother had showered
me with expensive clothes – none real y to my taste – and a beautiful pearl
necklace. I had kissed her cheek and she’d even al owed me to hug her.

Al and al it hadn’t been a bad evening.

We returned home around ten as Tommy was anxious to get to bed. He stil
believed in Santa, though I had a feeling he was a little skeptical. I grinned as I
remembered the conversation I’d had with Lucas about Santa and I honestly
hoped Tommy would believe for a few more years.

“What is this?” Mom asked as she approached the door. A parcel sat on the steps
in plain brown paper. She picked it up, her brow furrowed, and shoved it under the
porch light. “It has your name on it, Irelyn.”

I took it from her hands as she unlocked the door. “The delivery guy must have
just left it here,” I said. “Good thing we have honest neighbors.” Once we hung up
our coats, I opened the package to reveal a beautiful y wrapped gift. Tommy
bounced around me, eager to see what was inside.

“Who is that from?” Mom asked.

I read the tag and laughed. “The tag says it’s from Santa.”

“Open it!” Tommy demanded.

Mom stood in the doorway with a confused look on her face. “Yes, open it, Irelyn.”
My heart tumbled in my chest as I hoped that if it was indeed from Lucas, and I
was almost certain it was, that it wasn’t something embarrassing. But I doubted
seriously that if it was lingerie or anything like that, he would have sent it to my
house.

I tore the shiny green paper away and gasped, my chest thumping and my lungs
frozen. “No way,” I muttered, my hands trembling.

“What is it?” Mom asked as she stepped in the room. Her face lit up as her hands
flew to her mouth. “Irelyn! Who sent you that? Did Dustin?” Opening the box, I pul
ed the laptop out excitedly. I lifted the lid careful y and gaped at the dark monitor.
My heart fil ed with love for the man who knew exactly what I wanted most. Wel ,
besides him. “No, it’s not from Dustin,” I whispered.

“Wel , who would send you such an expensive gift?” she asked.

I shook Lucas out of my head before meeting my mother’s eyes. “It’s from Bailey
and Morgan,” I quickly lied. “Um, they’re always complaining about how I write in
notebooks and how I should just go out and get a laptop.”

“That is a very generous gift,” she said dubiously.

And it was. I wasn’t sure how much money Lucas made at his job or even his
weekend gigs and I worried that he went a little overboard. Could he afford this?
Would it put him out? Would he have to skimp on a few things? Did he have to
give up anything? I hoped not. I didn’t want him to go without anything just so he
could buy me a gift. I knew exactly how that felt.

Yet, I also knew the joy of giving a gift to someone you loved – a gift they wanted
so very much. Is that what Lucas was thinking? Did he want me to feel the

happiness that was surrounding my heart? My love for him grew as I pondered
that thought.

But I sighed. As much as I longed to charge the laptop and start writing, I
wondered if I should return it.

“Um, Mom, they have loads of money,” I said. “I agree that it is too much but it is
actual y nothing to them.”

“Wel , honey, you have some wonderful friends,” she said as she draped an arm
around Tommy.

“Yes I do,” I concurred as a wistful smile crossed my face. I longed to cal Lucas at
that moment but I knew he was with his parents and I didn’t want to bother him. I’d
most certainly go see him the next night no matter if I had to lie to my mother or
not.

Tommy scurried off to bed and I fol owed him, careful y carrying the laptop with
me. I set it on my desk, pausing to stroke it lovingly before I climbed between the
sheets.

I couldn’t sleep. I had to talk to him. I didn’t want to disturb his family time but I
needed to hear his voice. And I wanted him to know how happy he’d made me –
even if I did return the gift. I grabbed my phone.

He answered almost immediately. “Hey, love. How are you?”

“Lucas,” I squealed. “How could you? It’s too much.”

“What?” he asked, trying to be innocent but I could hear the amusement in his
voice.

“I know it was from you and as much as I love it, I just can’t accept it,” I said.
“Luke, I just don’t know what to say.”

“Listen to me, al right?” he ordered, not waiting for an answer. “I wanted to do it. I
planned to do it since I found out that you write al your stories in a notebook. I get
a generous bonus every year and I have a friend that works in a computer store.
It’s not as much as you think. And besides,” he added in a quiet voice. “I just
wanted to do something to make you happy.”

“You make me happy,” I said before I could stop myself.

He paused making me wonder if I’d said too much. “I hope I get to see you
tomorrow.”

“You wil ,” I said. “I want to see you.”

“I can’t talk right now, love,” he said with regret. “I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay. I’l be at your place tomorrow night sometime,” I said. “Be careful driving
home and I hope you have a great day tomorrow with your family.”

“You, too,” he said. “Good night. Dream about me.”

I snorted. “Usual y do. Good night.” I hung up with a huge smile on my face.

I closed my eyes dreaming of the day when I could be free to express my love and
affection for him.

And I was certain my mother would love him nearly as much as I did.

***

Christmas was as wonderful as always at my house. My mother had a knack for
making everything perfect no matter what our circumstances every year.

What we lacked monetarily we made up for in love and warmth and just plain
holiday cheer.

Tommy absolutely adored the piano books I’d ordered for him and my mother
loved the cookbook I’d found that she’d wanted. And that evening, we al pitched in
to prepare a wonderful feast. I was happier than I’d been in months.

After we ate and cleaned up, Tommy dozed under the Christmas tree. I made a
quick escape to the bathroom. It was after eight and I was anxious to be with
Lucas. I hated the lying and sneaking but I comforted myself in the knowledge that
maybe next year, it wouldn’t be necessary.

I dialed Bailey, relieved when she answered.

“Merry Christmas, Irelyn. Did you have a good day?” she asked.

“It was perfect and I have loads to tel you but I don’t have much time,” I gasped in
one breath. “Listen, I’m staying the night with you tonight.”

“Sure,” she said slowly. “Come on.”

“No, listen,” I repeated. “I’m staying the night with you.”

“Oh,” she said with a grin in her voice. “Going to see Lucas, huh? Wel , hel , girl,
stay a few days. I got your back.”

“I absolutely love you, Bailey,” I gushed. “And I owe you big.”

“Nah, you don’t,” she laughed. “I live vicariously through you. Have a great time
and cal me later.”

“Thanks,” I said and hung up. I flounced back into the living room to find my
mother nearly asleep on the sofa. “Hey, Mom?”

“Yes?”

“Bailey wants me to go to her house tonight and since it’s a couple hours drive,
spend the night.”

“Tonight?” she asked as she pried her eyes open. “Wel , okay, I guess. I know
you’re probably missing Dustin right now.” I flinched. “A little. Um, I might stay a
couple days. Do you mind?”

“No, but I’d real y like to spend some time with you, too.”

I kissed her cheek. “Just a day or two – I promise.”

“Drive safe, honey.”

I nearly floated up the stairs to pack. And change. I needed to put Lucas’s gift on
under my clothes. My hands trembled as I hurried through my chores.

***

As I walked up to the porch, I was greeted with loud music. Smiling, I opened the
door, knowing they’d never hear my knock.

“You so suck, Col in,” Lucas said as the music suddenly died. I blinked as I took in
the scene before me.

“You’re kidding, right?” I asked.

Lucas spun and dropped the microphone in his hands to embrace me, lifting me
off the ground. “Irelyn! You’re here!”

“Yes,” I squeaked. “Can’t breathe.”

He set me on my feet and kissed me. “Thanks for coming.”

“Hey, Irelyn, look,” Col in cal ed, pointing a drumstick at the TV. “Our parents
bought us a toy.”

“They bought you a band video game? Real y?” I asked in disbelief.

Lucas chuckled as he hugged me to his side, his eyes shining. “Yeah and Col in
sucks. He’s a drummer and he gets kicked off the stage in this game for his sucky
drumming skil s.”

Spencer laughed as a drumstick flew through the air, narrowly missing Lucas’s
head. “Bite me!”

“Stop fighting or I won’t give you your presents,” I said. I grinned at Lucas and
lowered my voice. “You only get one of yours right now – the others wil have to
wait until later.”

“I real y like the sound of that,” he growled, setting my body on fire.

I had to force my body away from him to retrieve the gifts I’d crammed into my
oversized bag. I handed Col in and Spencer theirs and pushed Lucas into a chair
to hand him his. They al raved over the shirts claiming to love them before Col in
presented me with two gifts.

“Okay, darling,” he said with a smile. “You wanted Australia so you got it.”

I opened their gifts apprehensively and laughed at the first one. “A boomerang. I
love it!” Beaming, they urged me to open the other. I frowned as I held it up.
“Vegemite?”

“Hey,” Spencer defended. “We got you the two most Australian things you
Americans are familiar with. I mean, we wanted to get you a koala bear but
apparently it’s il egal to own one.”

“No, this is perfect. Thank you,” I said.

“You real y should try the vegemite,” Lucas said. “It’s good.”

“I’l take your word for it,” I said.

I had to endure another round of the band game before I convinced Lucas we
should escape to his bedroom so he could open his other gifts. Col in and
Spencer each kissed my cheek, warning me they were going to turn the volume

up on the television and continue playing to drown out the activities going on
behind Lucas’s door. Natural y, m cheeks heated.

Lucas shut and locked his door before plopping on his bed. “Okay, what kind of
naughty things did you bring?” he asked. I tossed the wrapped box of condoms at
him. He laughed so hard his face turned red once he opened them, pointing at his
night stand where another box sat.

“Col in beat you to it,” he chuckled. “But his aren’t colored.”

I sat next to Lucas and kissed him, my heart thumping. He eased me to the bed as
I kicked off my shoes.

“Let me unwrap my other present now,” he said in a low voice and I thril ed at the
idea. It was working out better than I’d hoped. I’d intended to just take my clothes
off to reveal the nightie but his plan was better. He peeled off my shirt and gasped.
“Love – you didn’t!”

“I did,” I said with a smile.

He wasted no time in taking off my jeans to reveal the nightie. He groaned.
“Damn, baby. Damn.” His lips found mine again as he lifted off the bed, taking me
with him. He tore his mouth from mine and held me at arm’s length to admire me.
“You look so hot.” He spun me around and I heard his deep intake of air. He
kissed my neck. “Thank you.” I pul ed his shirt over his head, anxious to have him.
He helped me and before I knew it, I was on the bed again. His lips were al over
me as his hands stroked the soft material that barely covered my body. I wanted
him so badly that I could hardly stand it. But he wouldn’t let me off easily. He didn’t
remove the nightie – just moved it out of his way as his lips found my stomach. It
was my turn to suck in a breath as he kissed his way down.

He drove me to a new high. When I could take no more, he tore open one of the
boxes on the nightstand, prepared himself and entered me, driving me total y
insane. My nails dug in his skin as he kissed my neck and knocked me over the
edge again.

He col apsed to my side, huffing and puffing harder than the big bad wolf. I
reached for him as he pul ed me to his side.

“Irelyn,” he said with a heavy breath. “Damn. Just when I think you can’t drive me
crazier – you do.” I couldn’t speak. I just wanted to be in his arms. I kissed his bare
chest as my belief in Santa Claus was suddenly reborn.

***

I woke early, tucked happily in Lucas’s arms, no urgent need to rush home
nagging at me. As far as my mother knew, I was up north at Bailey’s and wouldn’t
be home until the next day. It was a wonderful feeling that made me wish I could
wake up like that every day.

I folded my arms on his chest and propped my chin on them so I could watch him
sleep. But he ruined it when the corners of his lips curled in the corners.

“Are you trying to wake me?” he mumbled. “Because I can think of a better way.”

“I just like to look at you,” I admitted in a whisper and blushed fu
riously.

Grinning, he cracked his eyes open. “Not nearly as much as I like looking at you.”
It was my turn to smile as his arm wrapped around me. “That first night at Rusty’s
– when I first saw you- I thought you were the prettiest girl I’d ever seen. I just had
to talk to you.” He opened his eyes wider and I couldn’t drag my gaze away from
his face. “I never intended to take you to Spencer’s that night – but I couldn’t resist
you.”

“I never intended to sleep with you, either,” I said, but I could tel by the way he was
looking at me that he already knew that.

“Where’s Dustin?” he asked, total y deflating my bal oon of happiness. “Why aren’t
you with him?” I thought I spotted a sparkle of hope in his eye but it disappeared
so fast that I figured I must have imagined it. I dropped my own eyes and focused
on his strong chin. “He left for Europe with his family on Saturday.”

“Oh,” he said slowly. I couldn’t bear to look into his eyes. He squeezed me and rol
ed me to my side to trace my jaw line with a finger. “So, I don’t have to share you,
huh? I get you to myself?”

My heart flipped. “Yeah, mostly. My mother is insisting that I spend some time with
her.” His eyes crinkled as he smiled. “I don’t mind sharing you with your mom.” He
kissed me softly. “And speaking of Mom, when are you going home?” I blinked at
him. “Do you want me to leave?”

“Hel no,” he said. “I’m on vacation this week and I want you to stay with me.” An
impish glint sparkled in his eyes as his lips pul ed into a smirk. “I was hoping you’d
cook for me while wearing that hot little nightie.”

Rol ing my eyes, I turned my head so he couldn’t see my smile. I was thril ed he
loved his gift and planned to buy more. “Hey, when’s your birthday?” His brow

furrowed. “April 13th – why?” His face smoothed. “Ah, I’m getting another one of
those sexy little numbers, am I?” I giggled, nestling into him. “Maybe – if I can find
one in your size.”

He laughed and kissed the top of my head. “You do that.” He yawned as he
stroked my back. “And your birthday is next month, huh?”

“The eighth,” I mumbled into his chest. “And I just want a night with you.”

“You can have that any night, love,” he said. “I’l have to think of something
special.”

“No,” I protested. “I don’t want anything special. You already did enough for
Christmas.”

“Yeah, speaking of that,” he said as he pushed my hair over my shoulder. “Have
you written my story yet?”

“No,” I winced. “I haven’t used the laptop yet. I wasn’t sure if I should keep it.” He
kissed me and grinned. “You should and I want my story to be the first one you
write on it.” My heart tingled as a happy smile spread across my lips. “Okay, I wil .”

He pecked my forehead before tossing back the covers back. “Come on. Let’s go
play the band game real y loud and wake up Col in. He’l cook us some breakfast.”

***

The entire day was perfect – or as close to perfect as it could be. Col in and Lucas
kept me laughing most of the time, insisting I play their new game with them. I
refused to sing – I couldn’t carry a tune in a bucket – but relented to trying the
guitar and the drums.

Spencer and Tori joined us that night. We played cards and drank beer until nearly
three in the morning. Spencer crashed on the sofa after Tori climbed the stairs to
her apartment and I joined Lucas in his room. I disappeared into the bathroom to
change into the nightie again but when I joined Lucas in his bed, he just took me
in his arms and held me, kissing me softly periodical y.

It was late the next morning when things fel apart. Col in left to run errands while
Lucas fiddled with the coffee maker. I checked my voicemail, frowning as Dustin’s
voice floated into my ear. I didn’t want to hear his voice while I sat in Lucas’s
kitchen and it spoiled my contentment.

“Dustin?”

Shutting my phone, I crammed it into my pocket. “Yeah.”

Lucas nodded and returned his attention to the coffee pot. “So, um, Irelyn,” he
said, his back stil to me. “What are you doing for New Year’s?”

“I don’t know,” I sighed. “I don’t real y have any plans.”

He turned to me, leaning against the counter with his arms folded over his chest.
“Col in and I are supposed to go to a friend’s party. Why don’t you go with me?”

Panic flooded my heart as my brain stammered and stuttered. How could I? What
if someone saw us together? I wasn’t prepared to go out in public with him yet.

“Lucas, I can’t,” I whispered.

“Come on, love,” he insisted. “There won’t be anyone who knows you or Dustin at
the party. It wil be safe.” I thought I heard a touch of anger in his voice which
surprised me. He was usual y more tolerant than this. “I just can’t take a chance.”
He sighed heavily, ruffling his hair in frustration. “When is this going to end,
Irelyn?” he asked, desperation in his voice. “How much longer are you going to put
yourself through this? I hate how you stress over someone seeing us together yet
the other night, you didn’t care that Amber knew you were coming home with me.
What is going on?”

“I…I’m working on it,” I stammered. And to be honest, I was stil extremely nervous
about Amber knowing I went home with Lucas. I stil had every intention of
breaking up with Dustin and I knew I’d see him before she’d even figure out I had
a boyfriend, but I wasn’t ready to take anymore chances. “Just, don’t push me.”

“I’m not pushing you,” he said, distressed. “But maybe I’m tired of you hiding me.
Maybe I’d like to go out with you sometimes – take you to dinner or something.”

“Oh?” I said as anger burned a hole in my heart. “I thought you liked this
arrangement – someone to fuck without having to deal with al the relationship
stuff.”

He laughed hol owly, the sound tearing at my soul. “Is that what you think?
Honestly? Do you even know me?” Pain fil ed the hole in my heart as I jumped to
my feet and stormed through the living room to his bedroom. “I thought I did but I
guess I was wrong.”

“Where are you going?” he asked in a weary, irritated voice.

“Home,” I said as I snatched my bag and grabbed my coat. “Goodbye.”

I slammed the door behind me and stalked to my car, not even looking back once.

Chapter 15

I fumed as I maneuvered through the streets, headed for home. How could he
expect me to just start flaunting my relationship with him when I hadn’t even
broken up with my boyfriend yet? Didn’t he know that I was nervous about Amber
knowing? And probably Hol y, too, by now. Certainly Amber cal ed her best friend
to cry about it. I would have.

I groaned as U wiped absently at the angry tears coursing down my cheeks. I
couldn’t go home – my mother wasn’t expecting me until later. And if I went home
in this state, she’d have a fit.

I drove around aimlessly until I spotted a shopping center. After I pul ed into the lot
and parked, I dug into my purse for a tissue.

I rested my head against the steering wheel as I tried to clear my mind. I hated
confrontations and arguments – hated them. And I hated the way I felt.

“Selfish,” I spit as I lifted my head. “Utterly, horribly selfish, that’s what I am. What’s
the big damn deal about going to a party? So what if Dustin hears a rumor – you’l
tel him the truth anyway. As soon as he gets home – before anyone has a chance
to say a word to him.” I dug my phone out of my pocket and frowned. I figured
Lucas would have cal ed by now. He hadn’t. Maybe he needed a little time to cool
off.

I got out of the car and walked along the sidewalk, browsing through the windows
of the shops as I kil ed a little time.

Certainly he’d cal , asking me to come back. Or maybe I should just cal him, I
thought. I bit my lip as I entered a drug store. I strol ed through the aisles not even
seeing what was on the shelves.

“What am I doing?” I muttered aloud, earning a curious glance from a woman with
a young child. “He’s mad and he’s not cal ing and I’m stupid for wasting my time
thinking he wil .”

I left the store and drove home – the silent phone in my pocket tearing at my heart.
I kept thinking about how angry he’d been. Maybe when I stormed out the door he
took that as a sign that it was over. Maybe I should have just stayed and talked to

him about it.

I barked a shal ow laugh. When had I ever just talked about it? Every time Dustin
brought up something unpleasant I always demanded that he take me home.

And what about when I got angry with Lucas when Amber was hinting that she’d
gone out with him? I ended the discussion when it became uncomfortable. I
pushed everything aside like always. And that hadn’t solved a damn, single thing.

I parked in the drive and gathered my things. The house was quiet and empty and
it puzzled me. After I unpacked, I plopped on my bed. My eyes fel on the laptop
and started to fil with tears. After I plugged it in, I fol owed al the start up
instructions until final y I was able to access the word processing program. I
wiggled my fingers over the keys while the beginning of the story formed in my
head. When I judged it ready, I released my fingers and started to write. The
words flowed effortlessly and it was so much easier to type than to try to keep up
with a pen.

By the time my mother and cousin came home, I was three quarters finished with
the story.

***

I couldn’t sleep that night. I tossed and turned but I refused to cal Lucas. I’d
realized before I went to bed that I had acted childish and that I should be the one
cal ing him – but I needed to cool off, too, and sort my thoughts. And I needed to
give him a little space. I’d go see him in the morning so we could talk.

I’d tel him everything and maybe things would be al right.

I got up early the next morning to find my mother singing softly in the kitchen. She
smiled over her shoulder at me as she scrambled a few eggs in a bowl.

“I have to work the early shift today,” she said as she dumped her mixture into a
frying pan. “Tommy wants to come with me – can you believe it?” I couldn’t. My
jaw moved up and down so that I resembled some sort of zombie found only in
horror flicks.

Mom laughed. “Brenda and Jim hauled a secondhand piano into the pub – a little
upright - so Tommy could play it when I have to take him to work with me.”

Brenda and Jim owned the little pub my mother managed and were two of the
nicest people I’d ever met. “They even said Tommy could play for the patrons and
put a tip jar on the piano but I don’t think that’s right. Let him play because he

loves it and not for money.” She pointed at a chair gesturing for me to sit. She
placed a heaping plate of eggs in front of me before dropping to a chair.

“You look like you haven’t slept in ages, Irelyn,” she said with a tilted head. “And I
know it’s not because you miss Dustin. Something is off…” I dropped my fork,
bowing my head. “Yes, something is off,” I whispered.

“Honey,” she said, taking my hand. “If you don’t love Dustin then don’t let my
father bul y you into marrying him. Don’t be like me.” My head shot up and I stared
at her – total y taken aback. Wasn’t she the one who slept around – sort of like
me? Didn’t she love a musician – also like me? “What do you mean?” I asked.
“Grandfather didn’t bul y you into marrying anyone.”

“No,” she said thoughtful y. “But he bul ied me out of marrying Lonnie. He forced
me to let Lonnie go and I was miserable. I tried to pul myself together to be more
like how they wanted me to be but I couldn’t.” She smiled wistful y at a distant
memory. “The last thing Lonnie said to me was to be true to myself.” She patted
my hand. “That’s when I decided to leave home at such a young age. It was hard
and I messed up quite a few times– but I knew then that I would never, ever be
what they wanted me to be – I’d be myself.”

I stared at her in awe. “So…” I couldn’t form a coherent thought let alone
sentence.

“So, I broke free from them,” she blushed, turning her face away slightly. “Probably
a little too free and I did go a little overboard – but I came to my senses and
returned home. Wel , here in this town. I was about to have a baby so I got a job
and rented a tiny apartment. The rest is history.” I was on the edge of my seat. I
actual y thought for a moment she might reveal who my father was but when she
didn’t – I didn’t ask. I’d asked before and she’d told me she honestly didn’t know.

“Wow, Mom,” I said, wondering how her story applied to me and Dustin. “I think
you turned out just fine,” I said. I pushed my plate away. “I’m not real y hungry.”

“Think about what I said,” she ordered as she took my plate away. “Be you, Irelyn.”
I ran up to my room to pace. I’d already showered and dressed so I couldn’t do
that. I’d finished Lucas’s story the night before and had sneaked down to print it so
I couldn’t do that.

“But I could go see him,” I whispered. “Apologize. Tel him I’l go with him to the
party.” My heart fluttered signaling that I just had to go. I put on my coat, grabbed
my bag, and flew down the stairs. I cal ed out to my mother that I was going out for
awhile and I’d be back later.

My nerves reared as I parked in front of his house. I had to take a couple deep
breaths before I could even summon the courage to open the car door. My legs

shook as I walked up to the porch. I knocked softly and smiled when Col in
answered the door.

“Come in, darling,” he said as he helped me with my coat. He tossed it on a chair
and escorted me to the sofa. “Are you okay?” I nodded. “Um, where’s Lucas?”

“He was cal ed in to work for something – he shouldn’t be long. You can wait here
if you like.”

“Thanks,” I muttered, suddenly uncomfortable. I wanted to ask Col in al kinds of
questions but a huge lump formed in my throat.

“Relax, Irelyn,” Col in whispered. “I’m sure Luke was planning to cal as soon as he
cooled off.” I whipped my head up, alarmed. “He’s…stil …mad?”

“Um, I’m not sure,” Col in said, backtracking. “Um, he’s just been in a pissy mood
is al .” Fear swooped through my body, dislodging the lump in my throat, releasing
a torrent of tears. I wailed, covering my face, scaring Col in in the process.

“Um, there, there,” he muttered, patting me awkwardly on the back. “It’s al right,
darling, real y.” He reached over me and cursed again. “Damn, stupid brother used
al the tissues when he was sick. Hold on.”

When he left, I tried desperately to control my useless sobbing but I couldn’t. I just
knew Lucas was through with me and al the hiding and sneaking around. By the
time Col in returned, I was convinced Lucas was dating someone new and that if I
didn’t leave, I’d see him walk through the door with her.

“Here,” Col in said, handing me a rol of toilet paper. I took it in my unsteady hand,
staring at him, my tears temporarily on hold. He smiled feebly and shrugged.
“We’re out of tissue.”

I was stil holding the rol in my hand when the door flew open. I didn’t need to look
over my shoulder to know who it was.

“Irelyn?” Lucas asked in disbelief. “Are you okay?”

I managed to turn to him as he slowly pul ed the stocking cap off his messy head.
He tossed it absently toward the chair as he approached the sofa.

“What’s the matter?”

The tears started again so I couldn’t speak. He dropped to his knees in front of
me, plucking the rol out of my hands to set it on the coffee table. He took me in his

arms. “Shh, love,” he whispered as he stroked my hair. “Shh. Calm down.
Everything is fine, love, don’t worry.”

“Luke, why don’t you two head off to your room and talk privately?” Col in
suggested. I felt Lucas’s nod before he stood and helped me to my feet. “And take
the toilet paper – in case she needs to blow.”

I coughed out a laugh as Col in crammed the rol in my hand. Lucas clutched my
other hand and led me to his bedroom. He shut the door before easing me to his
bed. He took off his coat, letting it drop it to the floor.

“Please don’t cry,” he said as he sat next to me. “I’m real y sorry. I didn’t mean to
push you and I didn’t mean to get angry.” I shook my head as I tore a gob of paper
off the rol to dab my eyes and nose. “I shouldn’t have been so angry, Luke. It was
stupid and you’re right – no one wil know me or Dustin and even if they do, I just
don’t care.”

Tipping my chin, he took the paper from my hands to wipe the tears off my face.
“You do care, Irelyn, and that’s al right. It is your life.”

“I’m going to break up with Dustin,” I said, gazing in his eyes. “I was going to do it
over the break but he left for Europe and I didn’t want to do it before his trip. I
didn’t want to ruin it.”

He opened his mouth, licked his lips then spoke. “You’re…breaking up…with
him?”

I nodded. “When he gets back I’m going to do it,” I said.

“Wow,” Lucas said partial y under his breath. “Why?”

I dropped my hands to my lap in disbelief. “Why am I breaking up with him?”
Lucas nodded. I tilted my head, eyes narrowed. “I thought you’d be happy.”

“That’s beside the point,” he said. “I thought you loved him.”

I blinked slowly, deliberating. “I thought I did, too. It’s just, I’m sort of stuck. On the
one hand, there’s my mother who total y rebel ed against my grandparents and
pretty much had sex with whoever caught her eye – and ended with me, the
bastard child.” I sucked in a breath. “On the other hand, are my grandparents with
their perfect lives, except for the two failures they cal daughters. But, they get a
second chance when the oldest bastard child did exceptional y wel in school. At
last – a chance for redemption in the eyes of their peers whose opinions matter
more than anything else. They give their granddaughter the best education and

are extremely happy when she starts dating a boy in which they whole-heartedly
approve.” I chanced a quick glance at him and he was mesmerized by my story.

“But good little granddaughter meets a man she can’t keep her hands off of and
enter drama. She tel s herself it’s just a fling – an affair – and she can end it
whenever she wants. Then she tel s herself that it’s okay to see him again
because no one’s been hurt yet – and no one wil get hurt if no one finds out.

When she sets deadlines, she blows them off, making excuses to keep seeing
him. But she final y realizes that he’s the one she wants and not the other boy.”

Sighing, I got to my feet. “Lucas, I struggled – stil am struggling – with which
person I want to be. Do I end up like my mother? Or end up like my
grandparents?”

His arms snaked around my middle as he rested his chin on the top of my head.
“Why can’t you just be Irelyn?” I snorted. “I don’t know who Irelyn is.”

He kissed my cheek. “You’l find her, love, don’t worry.”

I turned in his arms and kissed him softly, tangling my fingers in his hair. “I’l go to
the party with you, Lucas. I real y want to.” He grinned at me. “We don’t have to go
to the party. We could hang out here.”

I shook my head. “How about if we go to the party for awhile then come back
here?” He tightened his hold and kissed me until my jaw ached and my lungs
screamed for air. “I like how you think.”

***

My mother questioned me endlessly about whose New Year’s party I was
attending since she hadn’t met any of my friends that lived nearby –and only
Bailey and Morgan from school. I assured her that they were nice people, that I
would be perfectly fine, and I’d see her in the morning.

She could only bite her lip and nod.

I had planned on wearing a skirt for Lucas but it was so bitterly cold that I couldn’t
bear it and I ended up in jeans and a sweater. Besides, I didn’t think I could sneak
out of the house dressed that way without raising my mother’s suspicions even
higher.

But when I showed up at Lucas’s house, his face lit up so bright that I could have
been wearing a tutu with fishing waders and he wouldn’t have cared.

“Give me your bag, love,” he said. He tossed it in his bedroom then turned back to
me. “Are you ready?” He took me to a club that was way on the outskirts of town. I
frowned. “Um, Luke? I thought this was a private party?”

“It is. A friend of Spencer’s owns the club and it’s only open to a select few,” he
said as he took my hand. “Come on. We’l stay for a bit then I’l take you home. To
my home.”

I squeezed his hand, smiling at him, my heart somersaulting in my chest.

Spencer’s friend had invited quite a few ‘select few’. The place wasn’t near
capacity but there were a lot of people mil ing around the bar and the jukebox.

I clung tightly to Lucas’s hand as he moved easily through the crowd trying to
locate Col in and Spencer.

“Luke!” a woman cal ed as she shoved away from the bar. She jogged over to us,
launching her body into Lucas’s arms.

He dropped my hand to catch her and I took a cautious step back. “Hey, Penny,”
he greeted as he drew his head away from her lips which were puckering and
trying to land anywhere on his face. “Nice to see you again.”

“It’s been awhile,” she gushed, stil hanging on to him. She had soft features and
light brown hair. She was slim and nearly as tal as Lucas. Her lips peeled back to
reveal blindingly white teeth, making her pretty eyes sparkle.

“Yeah, I’ve been busy,” he said as he reached for me. I slipped my hand in his, al
owing him to tug me forward. She final y released him to peer curiously at me.
“This is Irelyn. Irelyn – this is Penny.”

“Hi,” she said with a bubbly smile. Her eyes darted back to Lucas. “I guess you
have been busy.” I sensed some sort of history and I made a mental note to ask
him about it later. “Yeah,” he confirmed, letting go of my hand to wrap an arm
around my waist. “Have you seen my brother or my cousin?”

“They’re at the corner of the bar talking to Owen,” she said, her lips jutting in a
pout. “Hey, we should talk later.”

“Maybe,” he said without any sincerity. He dragged me through the crowd again. I
final y spotted Col in and Spencer laughing with a man around their age.

He was very good looking with blond, spiky hair, gorgeous green eyes, and an air
of confidence surrounding him. I instantly grew leery.

“Irelyn!” Spencer exclaimed, embracing me, kissing both cheeks. “Glad you came,
darling!”

“Thanks,” I laughed as I stood on my toes to kiss Col in. I was mildly surprised to
find Tori clutching his arm. “Hey, Tori!”

“Hi, Irelyn,” she greeted. “Good to see you again.”

“You, too,” I said honestly. I didn’t know her wel but what I did know of her, I liked.

“Lucas Newton,” the unfamiliar man said. “You dirty dog. What have you been
hiding from me?”

“And for good reason,” Lucas grinned, squeezing my shoulders. “Stay away from
her.” I frowned as I glanced at Tori. She gave me a tight smile and shook her head
slightly.

“I’m Owen Masterson,” the man said as he extended a hand. I shook it without
budging an inch from Lucas’s side. “And you are?”

“Mine,” Lucas said in a friendly tone, but I could sense a dark undercurrent. “And
her name is Irelyn.”

“Ah, like the beautiful country. How appropriate,” he said, stil holding on to my
hand. “It’s very nice to meet you.”

“You, too,” I mumbled as I worked to remove my hand from his. Lucas interceded
much to Owen’s amusement.

“Luke always had an eye for the pretty ones,” Owen said as he picked up a bottle
of beer. “Glad you could make it, Irelyn. Can I get you something to drink?
Everything is on the house tonight.”

“Just a soda, please,” I said and he laughed. He disappeared behind the bar,
returning a moment later with a beer for Lucas and a can of soda for me.

Lucas eased me onto an empty bar stool and stood next to me, keeping a
possessive hand on me at al times. Instead of being irritated, I was relieved. I
didn’t real y care for the way Owen kept glancing and smiling and winking at me.

As the jukebox blared, Owen chided Lucas and the others about not playing. They
kept tel ing him that they just wanted to enjoy the night like everyone else. I, for
one, was very glad they weren’t playing. Even though it would have been fun to sit
with Tori and watch them, I was stil grateful for Lucas’s constant presence.

The dance floor was crowded and I watched, amused, as the women tried to
coerce the men to dance. Lucas stood behind me, with his arms around my
middle, his lips near my ear. “Are you going to try to make me dance?” he asked,
making me shiver.

“I’m not much of a dancer,” I confessed.

He chuckled, his breath grazed my neck. “Me either – that’s why I play in a band.”
I swiveled on the stool to face him. His eyes were narrowed and burned a hot
flame. I gripped his shirt in my fists, yanking him closer. I pressed my lips against
his. “Thank you for bringing me here.”

He returned my kiss. “Thank you for coming.” He brushed his lips over mine,
making my temperature shoot up a few degrees. “You don’t know how cool it is to
have you here with me.”

“You don’t know how cool it is to see these girls lusting over you and know that
you’re taking me home tonight.” Grinning, he chucked me under the chin as a little
color touched his cheeks. “I don’t know about al that.”

“Wel I do and it’s making me a little smug,” I said with a laugh.

“Maybe I’l need to take you down a peg or two tonight,” he said in a low, sexy
voice. He pressed his slightly parted lips to mine. My heart burst and I grasped his
shirt, wishing we were in his bedroom.

“Hey, enough of that smut unless you intend to share,” Owen said, his voice
disrupting my moment of joy.

Lucas smiled against my mouth before breaking away to raise a brow at Owen. “I
don’t believe I’m your type.” Owen laughed, clapping Lucas on the shoulder.
“You’re too funny.”

I pul ed Lucas closer as Owen’s lingering eyes dropped to me. I shuddered and
Lucas felt it. He draped his arm around me. “There are plenty of other women out
there – take your pick.”

“Like Penny?” Owen asked with lifted brow.

“Sure,” Lucas said with a shrug. “Have at it.”

An arrogant smirk formed on Owen’s lips. “You weren’t saying that a few months
ago.”

“I didn’t have Irelyn a few months ago,” Lucas said nonchalantly as he lifted his

beer to his mouth.

My heart flipped. I wrapped my arms around his waist. He ducked his head to wink
and smile his crinkly-eyed smile at me. I was ready to leave at that moment. “I
dated Penny a few months ago – briefly,” he whispered softly in my ear. He kissed
my neck. “But she doesn’t hold a candle to you, love.” I beamed at him but inside,
I was already comparing Penny’s features to mine. “You don’t have to explain.” He
tossed his head back, laughing. “One thing I learned about women is that you
pretty much have to explain everything.” I rol ed my eyes as I twisted my stool so I
could watch the dancers. Lucas’s arms twined around me, elevating my mood. I
very much enjoyed being in public with him – flaunting to the other girls that he
was mine. Of course, I was sure most of the women could care less, but in my
fantasy-ridden mind, they al wanted him.

We toasted the New Year together with champagne and I convinced him to leave
shortly after. Owen leered, brazenly eyeing me up and down as we thanked him. I
slipped even closer to Lucas as his arm found its way around my shoulders.

Once we got to his house, he wasted no time getting me to his bedroom. He was
slow again, and unhurried, and I fel even deeper in love.

Chapter 16

The holidays were over and my break coming to an end. My nerves – which had
been hibernating – suddenly awoke and they were ravenous. Dustin was due
home soon which meant I was going to have to sit down to have a long talk with
him. It wouldn’t be pretty.

School was supposed to start back up on Monday the eighth – my birthday- and
Dustin promised to be home by then. Although I was nervous and anxious to talk
to him, I was also eager to get it over with so I could final y be with Lucas without
guilt. It was a horrible, selfish thing, I knew, but it was honest and it was the right
thing to do. Dustin was a nice guy who deserved better.

We had dinner at my grandparents’ house the Friday before my birthday which put
a huge crimp in my plan to be with Lucas. He was disappointed – like me – as he
had a gig Saturday night. I wasn’t sure if I stil had to do dinner at the club
Saturday so I couldn’t even promise to see him then.

Dustin returned late Friday night and cal ed me early Saturday to let me know he
was back. My heart twisted as I summoned enough enthusiasm to get through the

cal . He asked if he could see me that night and I agreed. He was ecstatic by the
time I hung up my phone.

***

My mother sent me on a wild goose chase Saturday afternoon – running errands
and shopping for some elusive ingredient she needed for the dinner she had
planned for Sunday. After two hours of running around, I gave up and returned
home to prepare for my evening with Dustin.

My mother and Tommy had left me a note, claiming they were dining at a pizza
place since we weren’t required at the country club. I thought it would be a perfect
opportunity to speak to Dustin.

He arrived around eight and immediately shred my plan to bits.

“I missed you so much!” Dustin exclaimed. He held me so tightly that it not only
nearly crushed my ribs but it set off my guilt. How was I ever going to do this?

“I missed you, too,” I managed to utter. He released me only to kiss me. I tried the
best I could to muster enough passion for the kiss.

“I have the perfect evening planned for us tonight,” he said, holding my hands.
“But, you have to change. You need to dress up a little more. Oh, nothing formal,”
he added when I cringed. “Throw on a skirt or something.”

Suppressing a groan, I sighed. I ran up the stairs to change from my usual jeans
into a long, black skirt and a silky blue blouse. I put in the diamond earrings he’d
given me at Christmas thinking that might cheer him a little bit. I slipped into a pair
of flats – it was icy out and I wasn’t the most sure-footed thing in heels.

“You look beautiful,” he exclaimed. I blushed. He helped me with my coat,
anticipation practical y leaking from his eyes. My uneasiness grew as I wondered if
he was going to do something stupid. I needed to hurry up and get the words out
before he went too far.

“Where are we going?” I asked.

His smile exploded as he shook his head, waggling a finger at me as if I were a
naughty child. “You can’t ask. This is a total surprise.” He kissed my cheek. “I’m
trying to make up for not being here with you on Christmas by giving you the best
birthday ever - even if your birthday isn't until Monday.” I suppressed the eye rol
and zipped up my coat. I wondered if I should just say something now or wait until
the end of the evening. What was the proper way to break up with your boyfriend?

Was there some kind of etiquette I should fol ow?

I sighed as he slipped his hand in mine. I’d have to play this one by ear.

I was expecting a fancy dinner and perhaps another evening of dancing and then
maybe him trying to convince me to spend the night with him. Or maybe he rented
another room at an inn or a suite in a hotel. I was expecting glamour and glitz –
things that were more his style.

I was not expecting Rusty’s.

My heart thumped and jumped and stopped and started as my hands trembled.
Dustin parked, grinning at me. “Surprise!” I urged my facial muscles to smile but
they flat out refused. “Surprise?”

“Yes!” he laughed, kissing my cheek. “I heard that you and your friends come here
on Friday nights. I found out that you love this place so…” My heart paused,
holding its breath. “I thought I’d bring you here. Come on.”

My hands fumbled with the door handle and my legs shook as I stepped out of the
car, stumbling around to meet him. He took my hand again and grinning, towed
me toward the door. I took a deep breath, hoping Amber wouldn’t happen to be
bopping around inside somewhere, and preceded him inside.

“Surprise!” I heard my mother shout, her voice louder than the others that shouted
with her.

My eyes grew so big they immediately dried out while my stomach rol ed as if
tumbling downhil . My mother rushed to me, hugging me fiercely while my dry
eyes roamed the bar area. I spotted Bailey and Morgan standing awkwardly –
Bailey with a cool mask on her face and Morgan looking exactly like how I felt.

“Um, thanks, Mom,” I said as I pul ed out of her embrace. “Um, how’d you manage
to do this without tel ing me?” She shrugged, a slight pink tint on her cheeks.
“Dustin did it al . He didn’t tel me anything until last night so I wouldn’t spil the
beans. I cal ed Bailey and Morgan last night and arranged for them to meet me at
the house while you were out shopping. Dustin cal ed us at the last minute and
told us the location.”

“Oh,” I said. My eyes darted automatical y to the stage as Tommy tugged on my
sleeve. I started to bend to his level but froze when I saw Lucas, Col in, and
Spencer poised and ready to play – their faces grim.

“Irelyn,” Tommy said, tugging away at me. I shook my head, kissing his cheek
absently while my entire insides trembled and bile rose in my throat. “Are you
surprised?”

“Um hm,” I said, not wanting to open my mouth.

Dustin draped an arm around my shoulder, radiant smile bursting from his lips.
“Isn’t this great? We rented the whole bar for the night. Oh, and I hired the band
that you and your friends like. What do you think?”

I couldn’t look at Lucas – I wanted to but I couldn’t. My mind was numb and I had
no idea what to do. Did Dustin know? Was this some elaborate scheme to out
me? I sucked in a breath – did Amber tel him?

“Are you al right, sweetheart?” he asked, his forehead creasing in concern. “I
thought you’d rather do this than something at the country club.”

“It’s fine,” I said, my head spinning and my stomach churning. “Who are al these
people?” I asked in a low voice. Some of them looked vaguely familiar but the
others I hadn’t a clue.

“Just a couple of my buddies from school and some of the gang from the country
club,” he said. “I wanted you to have more than just your roommates.” Wonderful –
more witnesses to my complete humiliation. Stil , I supposed I’d asked for this.
“Oh.”

“Happy birthday, Irelyn,” Bailey said, stepping forward to rescue me from Dustin’s
arms. She pul ed me into a hug and whispered in my ear. “No one knew, Irelyn.
No one or else we would have warned you.”

Nodding, I stepped back to al ow Morgan a chance to hug me. “We’l get out of this
somehow.” I laughed – couldn’t help it because after al , my entire life was turning
into a huge joke. I wondered vaguely if there were video cameras around
somewhere. “Don’t worry about it.”

“Hey, guys!” Dustin shouted toward the stage. Spencer stepped forward and
nodded. “Go ahead and play.” Spencer shot a glance at Lucas who merely
shrugged and started strumming chords on his guitar. The others joined in and
shortly after, Dustin’s friends began dancing.

“These guys are pretty good,” Dustin said, bobbing his head in time to the music.
He kissed my cheek. “Isn’t the singer the guy we met at a club one time?

A friend of Bailey’s or something?”

“Yes,” I squeaked as Lucas’s voice fil ed the room.

“Oh, he’s so nice,” Mom said as she joined us. “I was talking to them before you
got here.” She blushed and I raised a brow, forgetting my own discomfort.

“I told them how I used to sing ages ago and they were trying to talk me into
singing with them.” I smiled softly as my eyes drifted back to Lucas. When he
caught my gaze, his lips turned up in the corner ever so slightly and I knew things
would be okay.

Chuckling, Dustin kissed my mother’s cheek. “Now, now, Ms. Colby. It’s been
awhile and I don’t think you want to embarrass Irelyn that way.” My brows dropped
over my eyes as I turned to him. “She can sing if she wants. She won’t embarrass
me. She has a wonderful voice.” I yanked out of his embrace so I could stalk off to
the bathroom. I was eager to splash a little water on my face. I felt Lucas’s eyes
on me as I made my way across the room and just wanted to jump on stage to
hug him. That would make me feel much better.

I was happy to find the bathroom empty as I hurried to the sink. The nausea was
stil lurking, waiting for the perfect opportunity to present itself.

The door flew open, al owing Bailey and Morgan to march in, rushing to my sides.

“How are you?” Morgan asked, her pretty eyes ful of worry.

“I’l make it,” I said. I ripped some paper towel off the holder to blot my face. “I…
um…was going to break up with Dustin sometime tonight.”

“Wonderful,” Bailey grinned. “Do it now then we can real y party.”

“Bailey,” Morgan chastised.

“I can’t do it now,” I said with a sigh. “Not in front of al his friends. I’l do it later.” My
nausea roared as I wondered why the hel Lucas would agree to this madness.
“What the hel were the guys thinking?”

“Relax,” Bailey said, placing her hands on my shoulders. “I talked to them before
you got here and they had no clue this party was for you. Rusty asked them last
night to play today – told them they’d get paid twice the usual amount. They
agreed. They didn’t even know it was a private party.”

“But, how did this al come about? Do you know?” I stammered. They both shook
their heads.

“Your mom cal ed us and asked us to meet at your house,” Morgan explained.
“She said that Dustin was throwing you a surprise party but he hadn’t even told
her al the details. When we got to your house, you were gone. When we were
getting ready to leave, that’s when your mother casual y mentioned Rusty’s – but

we didn’t know the guys would be here.”

“I haven’t talked to Spencer since Thursday,” Bailey said. “I didn’t know they’d be
here, either. But they were pretty mad when they saw us and figured out this
private party was for you.”

“They were livid,” Morgan corrected. “Lucas was worried that Dustin somehow
found out and planned al this to humiliate you.”

“That’s what I thought, too,” I said, biting my lip. “But I don’t think so. Dustin seems
too…innocent, I guess. I think he just thinks he planned a successful surprise
party for me – something I’d real y like.”

“Wel , the guys aren’t too happy,” Bailey said. “They’l be watching, trust me.”

“Shit,” I said as I leaned against the wal . “Wel , it’s not al bad, I guess. I’l just have
to endure and once this whole fiasco is over, I’l tel Dustin that I want to break up
with him. It sucks but it has to be done. I can’t keep putting it off.”

“Are you and Lucas hooking up, then?” Bailey asked.

“Good question,” I said. “I think so, but I can’t be sure.”

“Do you love him?” Morgan whispered in awe.

“Lucas?” I asked. She nodded. My heart warmed as a wistful smile slipped across
my face. “Yeah, I do.”

“Aww,” Morgan cooed.

“Yeah, great, wonderful,” Bailey said as she grabbed each of our arms and
whisked us out of the bathroom. “We need to rejoin the party before one or both of
Irelyn’s men comes looking for her.”

I shushed her and blushed.

Lucas’s eyes fol owed me again, doing crazy things to my heart but it also gave
me strength and courage. I would get through this party.

Dustin was mingling with his friends near a long table ful of food. The smel
assaulted my nostrils and gave my stomach a whirl. I longed for a good, stiff drink.

“Irelyn, sweetheart,” Dustin cal ed and I groaned. I didn’t dare glance over my
shoulder at the band. I wished I could be inside their heads to see what they
thought of this whole situation.

I slowly made my way to Dustin, enduring his possessive arm around my waist as
he introduced me to his friends. I faked polite smiles, shook many hands, and
muttered how nice it was to meet everyone over and over. I moved robotical y by
his side, keeping my eyes from drifting to the clock. Al in al , it was the worst
birthday party of my life.

The band announced that they were taking a short break about an hour after
they’d started. I watched as they each jumped off the stage and headed for the
bar.

Bailey and Morgan huddled near them and I could tel they were discussing me as
one of them would periodical y shoot a look my way.

“Um, excuse me, Dustin,” I said as I interrupted his roommate’s long, drawn-out
story about a law clerk in his father’s office. “I need to talk to Bailey for a second.”

Sure,” Dustin said slowly, a frown marring his face. He pecked my cheek before I
spun on my heel and hurried toward the bar.

“Need a drink?” Bailey quipped.

“More than you could ever know,” I said, not daring to look at the boys.

I sensed Lucas next to me and my body instinctively inched closer. I glanced out
of the corner of my eye to see him leaning his forearms on the bar, a beer
clenched in his fist. “Relax, love,” he said softly, his lips barely moving. “No one
knows anything but us and we’re keeping it to ourselves. Try to enjoy yourself,
okay?”

“Yeah, easier said than done,” I whispered as Bailey stuck a cranberry and vodka
in my hand. “I stil have to … you know…have that talk with him.” Chuckling, Lucas
sipped at his beer. “Don’t embarrass him in front of his friends, Irelyn.” Confused
anger straightened my spine. “So you’d rather me go home with him tonight?” He
whipped his head to glare at me, his eyes blazing. “Not in the least. I just
suggested that you don’t do it in front of his friends.”

“I hadn’t planned on it,” I said through clenched teeth. My nerves were nearly shot
and I couldn’t take a sil y argument with Lucas, too.

“Okay, love,” he said as he released a long breath. “Sorry. I just can’t stand the
thought of him touching you.” Smiling shyly, I ducked my head. My heart fluttered
at his words and I knew I was making the right choice. “I’m sorry, too. I’m sorry
about this whole mess.”

“It’s fine, don’t worry. Now relax – you’re doing a great job. It wil be over soon.”

“Irelyn?” Dustin said over my shoulder. I turned to face him. “I want you meet
someone.” His eyes were hard and a tremor shook my heart. Nodding, I set my
glass on the bar. Dustin took my arm, leading me away. “Why the hel do you want
to stand around and talk to the help?”

“What do you mean?” I sputtered. “They’re friends of mine – not your mother’s
servants.”

“They were hired to do a job,” he said. “And besides, I don’t like the way that Luke
guy looks at you.” My heart stuttered. “He doesn’t look at me.”

“Yes, he does,” Dustin insisted. “Now smile. You’re supposed to be having a good
time.” Lucas and the other guys jumped back on stage but instead of playing, they
cal ed out to my mother, cajoling her until she joined them. I stepped back from the
group of Dustin’s friends and smiled as my mother stood in front of the
microphone.

The boys started playing a Janis Joplin song that made me laugh – how many
times had I heard Mom singing it as she washed dishes or folded laundry or
prepared dinner. And she sounded wonderful as she stood on the stage, belting
out the words like she was truly on tour.

Bailey, Morgan, and Tommy stood with me. When Mom finished, we cheered
wildly for her. She bowed, her face bright red, and kissed each of the boys on the
cheek. My insides swel ed and I couldn’t wait to tel my mother that Lucas was the
love of my life.

“Are you al right?” Dustin asked as he wormed his way next to me.

“Why wouldn’t I be?” I asked.

Pressing his lips together, Dustin shook his head. He nodded toward the stage
and my eyes widened as Tommy joined my mother. Lucas and Spencer gave him
a tambourine, explaining the beats to him as my mother laughed.

“It’s time to sing ‘Happy Birthday’,” Lucas announced as his eyes lit on mine.
“Irelyn, could you please make your way to the stage?” I shook my head fiercely.
There was no way in the world I was getting on that stage. But Dustin thought
otherwise as he clutched my elbow and damn near dragged me to the stage.
Spencer and Lucas offered me a hand and I reluctantly let them yank me up. I
scurried next to my mother.

Tommy played the tambourine while Mom led the crowd into a couple verses of
Happy Birthday. I blushed the whole time, my cheeks hot enough to gril chicken.
When they finished, Rusty wheeled out a huge birthday cake through the crowd. I
prepared to jump down to dig in and hopeful y end this massive joke of a birthday.

But Dustin would have none of it. And the nausea that had dozed off stirred as he
made his way to the stage, a strange glimmer in his eye. He climbed up next to
me, taking the microphone from the stand. Lucas moved to stand by his brother,
curious expression on his face.

“Thanks for coming everyone,” Dustin began in his crisp, succinct voice. “I thank
you al for sharing in Irelyn’s birthday. But, before we have cake and ice cream, I’d
like to give Irelyn her gift right here in front of al the people she loves.” The nausea
yawned and stretched as my heart slowed, waiting to get a signal to stop.

Dustin turned to me, huge, dopey smile on his face, and took my hand. “Irelyn, I
love you more than anything.” I swal owed, hoping the saliva would somehow quel
the nausea as I discreetly shook my head, hoping Dustin would see it and stop.

But he didn’t.

“We’ve been together for a couple years now and I know we’re stil young – but I
think love knows no age.” He pul ed a box out of his pocket and I squeezed my
eyes shut. “I am asking you to marry me - your friends and family my witness to
how much I love you.” I couldn’t think. I couldn’t open my eyes. I couldn’t do
anything. But I had to – the room had suddenly gone silent. I cracked open my
eyes in time to see Dustin’s smile falter.

I took a step toward him. “Could I talk to you alone?” I whispered.

Pain shot through his eyes and straight to my heart. He smiled again and nodded,
replacing the microphone. He took me by the hand, helping me off the stage.
When he found a storage room, I knew I was going to be sick – it had a dirty floor
and smel ed like mop water.

“Oh, hang on,” I said, pressing a hand to my mouth, shooting off to the bathroom. I
vomited quickly and efficiently and after I flushed, I heard the door open.

“Are you okay?” Dustin asked.

When I left the stal , I rinsed my mouth straight from the tap. “Yes.

“Why don’t you want to marry me?” he asked. “Why?”

Suspicion popped up again. “Why did you do al this?”

“Because I love you, Irelyn,” he insisted. “I wanted to do something special for
you.”

“How did you find out that I like to come to Rusty’s? How did you know that I liked

the band?” He glanced at the jeweler’s box in his hand, shrugging. “Someone told
me. And that someone helped me to arrange this party.” Anger and fear
commingled in my gut, making my stomach rol again. “Who?” I whispered. “Who
helped you?”

“I’m not supposed to say,” he said.

“Who!” I screamed as I grabbed the lapel of his sports jacket. “Damn it, Dustin, tel
me who!” His eyes grew as his mouth opened wide. He took a step back but I
didn’t release him. As I shook him, he grabbed my hands. “What does it matter?”
he demanded, red splotches forming on his face. “It’s obvious you don’t want to
marry me and I want to know why!”

“WHO HELPED YOU WITH THIS PARTY?!” I screamed as I jammed him against
the wal . “WHO?!”

“Your grandfather,” he whispered.

I couldn’t breathe, my chest had seized. I coughed, gasping for air.

“Irelyn?” he asked, holding out a hand. I batted it away as I managed to suck in
oxygen. I stormed out of the bathroom, pushing people out of my way, not even
bothering to apologize. I stalked straight to the bar where my mother sat with
Bailey, Morgan, and the guys.

“Mom,” I said as calmly as I could but my voice stil wavered. I held out a terribly
trembling hand, palm up. “I need your keys.”

“Irelyn! What’s the matter?” she asked.

I closed my eyes, drew a breath, and released it. “Just…give me the keys.”

“I, um, didn’t drive,” she said. “I came with Bailey”

“Here,” Bailey said, digging the keys out of her pants pocket and dropping them
into my stil trembling hand.

I nodded at her before slowly turning to Lucas. His face was etched with concern.
“Irelyn, what is it?” I swal owed. “Can you and the guys please get my mother and
my cousin and my friends home safely?”

“Of course,” Lucas said, grabbing my arm. “Irelyn, where are you going?”

“I have something to take care of,” I said as hot anger scorched my chest. I ripped
my arm out of his grasp and whirled away.

“Irelyn!” my mother cal ed. I pretended not to notice.

It was time to take my life in my own hands.

Chapter 17

I tore through the streets, unmindful of traffic and cops, headed straight to my
grandparents’ house. My insides were burning with so much anger that I could
almost feel smoke coming out of my ears. I could not believe he had the gal to pul
a stunt like this.

My phone rang constantly but I ignored it, suppressing the urge to rol down the
window and throw the damn thing to the street. I didn’t want anyone questioning
me or trying to talk me out of my task. No, I’d shoved too many things aside for too
long and this time I was going to deal with it head on. He’d discouraged my
mother from being with her true love but he wouldn’t do it to me.

As I flew down the dark roads, I wondered how he’d found out. I wondered if
Amber was related to any of his friends. Or maybe there’d been someone at the
New Year’s party. Perhaps someone at Rusty’s saw Lucas’s slight touches and
guessed. At any rate, someone tipped my grandfather off and he took it upon
himself to do something about it.

Wel , I intended on doing something about it, too. I was his granddaughter, after al
– maybe I’d inherited this from him.

I raced up the drive and slammed the car into park. I stormed to the front door and
rang the bel . It was after eleven but I didn’t real y care. If he was in bed then I’d
wake him.

When no one answered, I rang the bel again and banged on the door for good
measure. I rubbed my arms, hoping a little friction would warm them since I’d
charged out of the bar without my coat.

The door opened and Marian, my grandparents’ only live-in housekeeper, gaped
at me. “Miss Irelyn!” Shoving past her, I stalked through the entry. “Where is he?” I
demanded.

Marian scurried behind me, wringing her hands frantical y. “Mr. and Mrs. Colby
have retired for the evening.”

“Fine,” I seethed. “I’l wake them!”

“No, Miss Irelyn,” Marian protested. “You mustn’t.”

“Don’t tel me what to do!” I screeched.

“That is enough!” my grandfather ordered as he appeared on the top of the stairs.
“Irelyn, I’l not have you treat my employees disrespectful y.” He descended the
stairs slowly, his hands tucked neatly into his elaborate dressing robe.

“But you’d have me treated that way?” I asked, anger taking hold of my body.
“Your own flesh and blood?”

“Fol ow me,” he said as he strol ed to the den. I fol owed, my fists clenched at my
sides.

Opening the door, he pointed at a chair. “I’l stand, thanks,” I said as the anger
continued to swirl inside me like a tornado ready to wreak havoc.

“First of al ,” he said, his cool voice on the edge of rage. “You’l not storm into my
home demanding things of me or my employees. If you’d like to discuss something
with me, you’l cal and make an appointment.”

“An appointment?” I asked as a disbelieving laugh escaped my lips. “You want me
to make an appointment?”

“Yes,” he said simply as his eyes hardened.

“I’m your granddaughter – not someone looking for a job! I’m not making a
damned appointment!” My body trembled with barely control ed rage. I longed to
lash out and I wasn’t too particular if it was with my tongue or my fists. If I didn’t do
something soon, I didn’t know what would happen.

“Watch your vulgar language,” he said, narrowing his eyes. He strode to the
mantle to fetch a cigar. Once he lit it, he sank to his favorite chair as if I were there
for a friendly chat and a cup of tea. “Perhaps you think it is acceptable to speak
that way with your…friends, but I wil not tolerate it in my home.”

“What did you do?” I asked, my voice low. “What did you do?”

He blew a puff of smoke in the air and glanced absently at the end of his cigar. “I
did what was necessary,” he said with nonchalance.

“What was necessary?” I repeated, my voice rising with each word. “What the hel
was necessary about that whole fiasco? Why do you think you need to step into
my life?”

“Because,” he said, his back stiffening. “I lost two daughters to that sort of…
lifestyle. I’l not lose a granddaughter.”

“You’re out of your mind,” I raved.

“No, Irelyn, you are. What were you thinking – getting mixed up with those sorts of
people? Did you think you could be like your mother? Is that your greatest
aspiration?”

“What do you mean ‘those sorts of people’?”

Rising to his feet, he crossed the room to stand in front of the cold fireplace.
“Those…lowlifes that frequent that bar,” he said. I lifted a brow, waiting for him to
continue. “They’l never be anything but trash. They’re the types that depend on
others – expect handouts.”

“And I don’t depend on you?” I asked. “You don’t hand me money every month?
Am I a lowlife?” He snorted which shocked me. “That is different.”

“How?” I chal enged. “How am I different?”

“You come from better family.”

I laughed and dropped to the sofa, clutching my stomach. “And how would you
know? No one even knows who my father is!” He whirled around, his face red with
anger, and the cigar shook as he jabbed his finger at me. “That is exactly what I
am trying to prevent! I don’t want you to end up with a bastard child like your
mother and your aunt!”

“And you think that I would be that irresponsible?”

“You’ve already shown me how irresponsible you are,” he said as he took slow,
measured steps toward me. “Do you not go to that bar every weekend and leave
with that guitar player? Do you not spend the night with him?”

I was flabbergasted even though I knew he knew. I just thought he’d dance around
the subject and not say it outright. “How do you know?” I whispered.

A queer smile encompassed his lips after he took a puff off his cigar. “Oh, I know
things, Irelyn. I know a lot of things.”

“Maybe it’s none of your business,” I snapped.

“When it comes to my granddaughter and my money, I make it my business,” he
said. “You forget that I know people and I have people watching over you.” I rol ed

my eyes. “I didn’t know that you actual y had friends in low places.” I smiled at my
own little joke, though the situation certainly wasn’t funny.

“Don’t get smart, Irelyn,” he warned.

It was on the tip of my tongue to retort with some sarcastic comment about why
was he sending me to col ege if he didn’t want me to get smart – but I held it in.
Now was not the time to be childish. “What did you hope to accomplish with this
party?” I final y asked, keeping my voice low so he couldn’t hear the tremor.

“It was an experiment,” he said with a slight smirk. “To gauge how far you’d gotten
yourself into trouble. I wanted to see if you were seriously considering giving up
Dustin Summerlin to pursue some sordid affair with the musician.” He returned to
the mantle and crossed his left ankle over his right. “And it looks to me like that’s
exactly what you had in mind.”

“What difference does it make to you?” I asked. “Neither of them has interfered
with my col ege education and it’s not like I am going to run off like my mother
did.”

“Oh, it makes al the difference,” he said as the fire from his cigar glinted in his
eyes. “It makes a world of difference.”

“How do you figure?” I asked as the anger evaporated into a rain cloud of dread.

“I figure,” he said, pausing to give me a reproachful glance, “that you are about to
end your relationship with Dustin – or at least continue your shameful affair behind
his back. I’l not tolerate it. I’l not have my granddaughter traipsing around with a
man like that. You’l date only men of stature and proper heritage.”

It was my turn to snort. “I’m not a horse – you can’t breed me and hope to produce
a winner.”

“Don’t be so insolent, Irelyn. That is not my intention.”

I rol ed my eyes and crossed my arms over my chest. “And you cannot tel me who
I’l marry. That’s my decision.”

“Perhaps you’re right,” he said with an uncharacteristic shrug. “I cannot tel you
who to marry – you are a legal adult after al .” He returned to his chair and that
dread cloud grew, threatening a downpour. I knew Grandfather would not give up
so easily. “But I can control something else.” The first drops of dread sprinkled my
insides as I scrambled to batten down the hatches in light of the upcoming storm.
“Like what?” I asked hoarsely.

“Like your monthly al owance,” he said and again I snorted. Money was not a
concern. I was certainly able to get a job. “And, your col ege education.” My heart
stil ed. Would he real y not help me with my tuition? Was he that cold-blooded? I’d
wanted to go to Dunne-Browling for as long as I could remember – they had an
excel ent English program and was one of the top schools in the country. Was he
threatening to rip that out from under my feet?

“You wouldn’t dare,” I chal enged, narrowing my eyes.

“Oh, but I would,” he said with a smug smile. “I’l not pay for your education while
you continue to give your body to that …man.” I sucked back the tears and swal
owed hard. I inhaled deeply and lifted my chin. “So, if I continue to see Lucas,
you’l stop paying my tuition? Right?”

“That is exactly right,” he said. “I’d rather you continue seeing Dustin and I’d like
you to actual y consider his marriage proposal.”

“This can’t be happening,” I whispered. “You can’t force me to marry him!”

“I’m not forcing you, Irelyn,” he said, his voice a tad softer. “If you do not wish to
marry Dustin, I’l not force you. But I wil have a hand in who you date and I wil
approve of anyone that you wish to marry.”

I shook my head slowly, trying to disperse the dread cloud and clear my mind. I
needed to think – to figure a way out of this. I needed to decide what to do.

Did I give up the love of my life for a col ege education? Did I give up an excel ent
educational opportunity for a man? How could I decide? And why the hel should I
have to?

“This is not fair,” I mumbled like a petulant child. “Not at al .”

“And it’s not fair that you’ve been carrying on the way you have while in a
relationship with an upstanding young man. It’s not fair that my granddaughter,
who I’ve had high hopes for, is turning out like her mother! Life is not fair, Irelyn,
and it is about time you figure that out.” I quickly whisked away a tear that had
escaped my eye. I wouldn’t break down here – not in front of him. I would be
strong and finish what I’d started. Then I’d run home, tuck my tail between my
legs, and have a good cry.

“So, if I don’t marry Dustin, I don’t get to go to Dunne-Browling,” I whispered as a
lump of misery col ected in the pit of my stomach and snowbal ed as it climbed my
throat.

“No, and I think I mentioned that I’l not force you to marry Dustin Summerlin. If you

don’t wish to marry him, then don’t. But I’l not al ow you to date men that are
beneath you – and that includes Lucas Newton.”

I winced to hear his name come from my grandfather’s lips. Apparently, he’d been
doing his homework.

“I wil not tel you who to marry,” he continued. “But I wil tel you who you won’t
marry. And while I am paying for your education, I wil tel you who you are al owed
to date.”

I couldn’t speak. I was horrified. How could something like this happen in this day
and age? And how had I let it? But most importantly, how could I get out of it?

“Then, I’l pay for my own education,” I whispered.

He laughed. “You wil ? How? Your musician wil pay it? Your mother?”

“Maybe,” I spouted petulantly. “I’l find a way.”

“Not at Dunne-Browling. You forget who is on the Board.”

My blood chil ed as I stared him down. He didn’t even blink. “You’d do that?”

He nodded. “And more. You see, it’s not only your education that I fund,
remember.” Al the air in my body left me in a whoosh. Would he dare? How could
he? “Tommy didn’t do anything wrong,” I muttered. “You can’t punish him.”

“Oh, I’l not punish him – I’l show him what happens when I’m crossed by my own
flesh and blood.” His eyes bored into mine. “You’re setting an ugly example for him
and I’d rather he not choose your type of lifestyle. I’m doing this for your sake and
his.” My chil ed blood froze, fal ing away from me and I couldn’t move. What
choice did I have? Maybe I could settle for a lesser school but Tommy…

“I’m not an unreasonable man,” Grandfather continued. “I expect no decisions
from you tonight. I’l give you two weeks to decide what you intend to do and we’l
speak then.”

I nodded, not knowing what else to do. Al the fight had fled my body anyway. I
rose quickly, wanting only to escape. “Fine.”

“Go home and rest,” he said. He placed a hand on my shoulder but I shrugged it
away. “We’l talk again, soon.” I darted out of the room and slipped through the
front door without any type of farewel . I got back to Bailey’s car and started it. The
clock in the dash declared it to be after midnight and I knew my mother would be
worried.

But what would I tel her? What would I tel Lucas or Dustin? What would I tel
myself? I needed to find a way out of this mess with my heart stil intact – and more
importantly, Tommy’s future stil secure.

***

There were several vehicles parked outside my house – Lucas’s truck included. I
was in no mood to face any of them at al . I couldn’t tel them what my grandfather
had said. I couldn’t tel them what he had done. I didn’t even want to think about it
tonight. Ever the procrastinator, I wanted to push it aside and just slip into my bed
and sleep. I wanted to forget everything for about ten hours and sleep blissful y.

As soon as I opened the door, nearly everyone pounced. My mother was the first
to reach me.

“Irelyn, where the hel have you been?” she demanded as she placed her hands
on my shoulders. “What is wrong? Are you okay?” I shook off her hands and
sighed. “Fine, Mom, okay?” I strol ed to Bailey, avoiding everyone’s eyes and
tossed her the keys. “Thanks.”

“Sure,” she said, uncertainty glimmering in her eyes. “No problem.”

I stared at her for a few seconds, biting my lip, deliberating what I should do. I
wanted to kick everyone out – even Lucas – and col apse on the floor.

I didn’t. Turning around, I headed for the stairs. I stopped on the first one to glance
over my shoulder. “Um, thanks for coming and everything but I’m real y tired and
not in a mood to talk. I’m just going to bed.”

“Irelyn,” Mom said in an authoritative voice. “Where did you go?”

My lips pul ed in a frown as I lifted a shoulder. “It doesn’t matter, Mom.”

She stepped closer to me. “I want to know what is going on.”

I shook my head as I glanced briefly at Lucas. My heart fel , shattering at my feet. I
loved him. How could I leave him? “No, Mom. Not tonight. Please.” She started to
protest but Lucas crossed the room to rest a hand on her shoulder. “Ms. Colby, let
her go to bed. I’m sure she’l talk to you in the morning.” He lifted his eyes to mine
and I nearly lost the weak hold I had on my emotions.

“Thank you,” I whispered so quietly, I wasn’t sure he’d heard me. He nodded,
giving me a crinkly-eyed smile. I spun on my heel and ran up the stairs.

I sank to the floor near the door but left it open a crack. I wanted to hear Lucas’s
voice so I could close my eyes and pretend he was in the room with me.

“…fine, Ms. Colby,” I heard Morgan say. “You can relax now. I’m sure once she
gets some rest, she’l talk to you.”

“No, something hasn’t been right with her for a while,” Mom said. “And she hasn’t
talked me at al .”

“Give her time,” Morgan said.

“This has something to do with my parents, I just know it,” Mom insisted. “I’l bet
anything my father is trying to push Irelyn into marrying Dustin. And I don’t think
she wants to. I tried to talk to her about it the other day but she wouldn’t open up.”

“She’s been under a lot of stress lately,” Lucas said, making my heart flip. I didn’t
care what he said – I just wanted to listen to him. I had no clue if I’d ever get to
hear his voice again after this night.

“I know,” Mom said. “And I know you kids know what’s going on. Now, I don’t
expect you to tel me because I know you won’t break her confidence, but, tel me
this much – is she in some kind of trouble?”

“No,” Bailey said. “Not at al .”

“Are you sure?” Mom pleaded.

“Yes, Ms. Colby,” Morgan said. “She’s not in trouble, honest. She just has some
personal decisions she has to make.” I smiled, loving Morgan and her sweet,
comforting personality. In the short time I’d been rooming with both girls, I’d grown
to real y love and care for them.

They’d turned into the best friends I’d ever had.

The front door banged against the wal , making jump, my eyes wide and my heart
pounding in fear. Was someone down there that would hurt my mother or my
friends?

“Is she back yet?” Dustin growled in a low, dangerous voice.

“Yes, Dustin, she is,” Mom answered. “But she went to bed. She real y needs
some rest.”

“And I need to talk to her,” he said. I heard his heavy footsteps cross the room and
I leapt to my feet, preparing for a showdown.

“Not tonight,” Mom stressed, her voice harder than normal. “Leave her be.”

“She needs to answer some questions,” Dustin said, determined to confront me.

“Stop,” Lucas said. “You’l respect this house and the occupants. If Ms. Colby says
no, then I’m afraid you’l have to obey her wishes and leave Irelyn alone.”

My heart surged, making me want to run down the stairs and jump in Lucas’s
arms.

“I don’t know what the hel is going on with you people, but I wil find out,” Dustin
growled. “I know Irelyn confronted Mr. Colby tonight and I want to know why.”

“What are you talking about?” Mom asked. “She went to my father’s house
tonight?”

“Yes,” came Dustin’s curt reply.

“Why?” Mom asked.

“I don’t know,” Dustin said
. “Al I know is that Irelyn damn near attacked me in the bathroom at the bar. She
was adamant that I tel her who helped me arrange the party. She screamed at me
and for a minute, I thought she would resort to physical violence.” I heard a
chuckle and I imagined it was either Col in or Spencer. I longed to see the look on
Dustin’s face. I, too, was slightly amused despite the gravity of the situation.

“My father helped you arrange this party?” Mom asked in disbelief. “He helped
arrange a party at a bar for Irelyn?”

“Yes,” Dustin confirmed. “It was his idea.”

I cringed – I knew that my friends had to have guessed why. They needed no
explanation.

“Why?” Mom asked.

“I don’t know,” Dustin said. “He just told me that he would arrange and fund the
whole thing. I just had to invite a few people.”

“Did you hire us or did Mr. Colby?” Lucas asked, a strain in his voice.

“Mr. Colby,” Dustin said. “He told me he did when I spoke to him Friday night.”

“I see,” Lucas said.

“Mr. Colby told me that if I planned to propose to Irelyn that I would need to do it in
a way that would total y surprise her. He said that Irelyn liked to go to this bar and
listen to your band and that he’d arranged to have the bar and the band for the
night. He said that Irelyn wouldn’t expect a proposal and that I could do it then.”

I cringed, my despair cloud swirling into an angry tornado again. I longed to
charge down the stairs to punch Dustin – even though I knew it wasn’t his fault.

My grandfather had set us both up to be slaughtered. Maybe I deserved it but
Dustin certainly didn’t.

But I couldn’t face him – couldn’t face either of them. Not yet. Not while I had this
decision to make.

“Why would he do that?” my mother agonized. “She was so confused about things
just the other morning. Why would he set this whole thing up when neither one of
you are ready?”

“I am ready,” Dustin declared. “I’l marry her tomorrow if she’l have me.”

“Dustin, I think you need to leave,” Mom said gently. “I think al of you need to
leave and let Irelyn rest. Lucas is right about that. And Dustin, I don’t think you
should pressure her to marry you right now. I know you love her, honey, but she’s
a little stressed. Why don’t you wait until she cal s you – don’t cal her.” I didn’t hear
his reply – didn’t know if he did reply. Al I knew at that moment was that I loved my
mother with al my heart and no matter what my grandfather said – she was an
amazing woman.

The door opened and closed among low murmurs of goodbyes and ‘cal me’ and
‘see you later’. When I heard the door close for the last time, I eased the bedroom
door al the way shut, changed into a t-shirt, and climbed into my bed.

I stared at the ceiling as my mother’s footsteps sounded in the hal . They paused
by my door momentarily then continued on to her room. I released a sigh of relief
and closed my eyes to my swirling thoughts.

What the hel was I going to do?

Chapter 18

I didn’t sleep at al that night but I remained in my bed with my head buried under

the blankets until my mother final y stormed into the room and ripped them back
late the next morning.

“Irelyn, I demand to know what the hel is going on,” she said, her cheeks flushed
and her eyes uncertain. “I am your mother and I have a right to know what has you
so upset.”

I knew this moment would come and in al my mind-tossing and pondering and
thinking, I hadn’t a clue what to tel her. She didn’t know the whole, ugly truth. I stil
needed one person on my side.

I heaved a huge sigh as I threw my legs over the side of the bed. Rubbing my
messy hair, I lifted my eyes to my mother. “Mom, this is between me and
Grandfather. I’m sorry, real y I am. I need to figure out what I am going to do and
once I make that decision, I’l come to you and tel you the entire truth.”

“I don’t like being kept in the dark,” she said. “Especial y when something has you
so upset. Irelyn, I’ve never seen you like this.”

“And I’ve never had to deal with something like this before,” I said as I stood to
wrap my arms around her waist. I kissed her cheek. “But you are an amazing
woman and I love you very much.”

She drew back, startled. “You’re not sick, are you?” Oh, please tel me you’re not
sick!” Smiling, I pecked her cheek. “Nope, healthy as a horse.”

She continued to eye me, her mouth pressed in a hard line. “Okay, honey, I’l let it
go for now but only because I trust you – you’re such a good girl who usual y
always makes good choices.”

I flinched at her words, dreading the day I’d have to confess everything to her. And
that day was coming. “Thanks, Mom.” I hung out al day with my mom and Tommy.
They both tried to be cheerful but I caught their surreptitious glances and did my
best to ignore them.

Mom made a huge dinner with a cake for dessert – but neither mentioned my
birthday the next day or the party. I was rather grateful because I was eager to
forget both.

When Tommy perched on the piano bench and played for me, a few tears
escaped. How could I ruin him? There just had to be a way…

I finished up some laundry and gathered the things I’d need for the new term. As I
packed, my mind wandered to Lucas. I wondered what he was doing and what he
was thinking. I knew he’d be worried but I just couldn’t talk to him yet. I didn’t want
his voice to weaken me and tip the scale in his favor. I had to make a decision with

my head and not my heart.

Dustin had tried to cal several times, too, but I ignored him. I shoved everything I
needed for school in my car, anxious to get back to my dorm in case Dustin
decided to stop by on his way back to school. But it wasn’t necessary. He final y
gave up on my cel and cal ed the landline. My mother answered, speaking softly
to him before hanging up and smiling at me.

“He’s gone back to school,” she said. “He just wanted to make sure you were al
right. I told him you were and that you were busying packing so you could go back
to the dorms.” She kissed my cheek. “He asked if you would please cal him one
day this week. He just wants to make sure you’re okay.”

“Thanks, Mom,” I said. A worried crease formed on her forehead but I could offer
her no promises that I would indeed cal Dustin. I hadn’t decided what I would do
and until I did, I preferred to not mention either.

Mom talked me into staying home that night – pleading that Monday was my
birthday and she wanted to see me that morning so she could wish me a good
day. I relented mostly because I knew what was waiting for me at the dorms –
Bailey and Morgan.

Monday started off decent enough – even though I’d managed only an hour or two
of sleep – and I appeased my mother by eating most of the breakfast she’d made.
I finished my juice, kissed her and Tommy, and then darted off to school. I had an
early class so I didn’t even stop in the dorm. I parked, grabbed my backpack, and
ran to class.

Once my class finished, I didn’t have another until after lunch. I had nothing to do
but unpack. I sighed and went to my car for the first load.

“There you are!” Morgan greeted. She hugged me tightly before taking the clean
laundry bag from my hand. “Do you have more stuff? Do you need help?”

“Um, sure,” I said. She slipped on her shoes and fol owed me to the car. I didn’t
real y have a lot so we managed to haul what was left in one trip.

She hovered over my shoulder as I unpacked – one eye on the clock so I wouldn’t
be late for class. I knew she had a ton of questions just waiting to pour out of her
mouth but she just couldn’t find the right time. Either that or she was waiting for
Bailey.

As if on cue, Bailey entered, smug little smirk curling her painted lips. “Happy
birthday, Irelyn. How are you today?”

“Just wonderful,” I said.

She snorted. “Great! Now sit.” She pushed me on my bed as Morgan appeared at
her side. “Let’s get this over with right now. What the hel is going on with Dustin
and your grandfather and you?”

I shook my head, my eyes never leaving hers. “I’m not going there. I have to figure
this out – not you, not Morgan, not Lucas. Me.”

“We’re not offering to fix your problems,” Morgan whispered.

“Yeah, we just want to know what the hel is going on. Lucas is out of his mind with
worry but he won’t cal . Col in and Spencer want to go kick the shit out of your
grandfather and Dustin. And I’m waiting to hear the whole story so I can decide
whose ass I’m going to kick.” She smiled at me, her eyes soft. “I’m thinking I’m
going to have to kick yours.”

My eyes grew in alarm but the smile never left her eyes. “Kick my ass?”

“Yep because I have a feeling you’re letting your grandfather dictate your life and I
won’t have that. That is not the Irelyn I know – the Irelyn that took a chance and
spent the night with a man she was so attracted to – the one she now loves. Your
grandfather cannot take that from you.”

“Maybe I need a good ass-kicking,” I mumbled as I fel back on my bed.
“Something.”

“Just tel us,” Morgan pleaded as she perched on the edge of my bed. “We won’t
say a word to anyone if you don’t want us to but you can’t keep this bottled up
inside. It’s not good.”

Closing my eyes, I pinched the bridge of my nose. I longed to tel them – to just get
it al out – but then I knew what would happen; they’d sit down and figure out my
life for me. No, I had to do this so that I only had myself to blame.

Rising from the bed, I headed toward the bathroom to comb my hair. “I can’t right
now, sorry. I just need some more time.”

“But, Irelyn,” Morgan whined.

“No, Morg,” Bailey said. “Don’t push her. If she feels she needs to do this alone
then we need to let her.” I smiled in the mirror a little sadly. “But we’re here if you
need us – for that ass-kicking that is,” Bailey shouted. I managed my first laugh of
the day.

***

The week sailed along smoothly – most of the time. I continued to ignore my
phone even though I knew I wouldn’t be able to hold Dustin off much longer.

He’d show up either here or my house if I didn’t take his cal soon.

Bailey and Morgan gave me a little space though I often caught Morgan watching
me careful y. And Bailey would whisper in her phone quietly –

presumably to Spencer – and fol ow my movements out of the corner of her eye.

I hated that I was hurting Dustin and Lucas. I hated that I was worrying my friends
and my family. But I mostly hated myself. I’d dug this hole with my own shovel and
it was up to me to either fil it back up or jump in. I just didn’t know what to do.

Friday night was the worst night of the week. I did the best I could to concentrate
on a novel while Bailey and Morgan prepared to go out. I wished I could lose
myself in a story but nothing inspired me. And I didn’t dare touch the laptop.

“Sure you don’t want to go?” Bailey asked in a soft voice. Gone was her hard
exterior and who-gives-a-damn attitude. True concern floated in her eyes.

“You don’t have to talk to Lucas if you don’t want to – he understands. He would
just like to see you for himself and know you’re okay. Although I must say –

you look like shit.”

“Thanks,” I mumbled, dropping my eyes to my book. I’d read the same sentence
over and over at least ten times and stil hadn’t a clue what it said. “I’d rather stay
here and wal ow in misery.”

Lifting a brow, Bailey nodded. “As you wish. Um, any messages for Lucas?”

My heart clenched as words of love clamored up my throat. I swal owed – twice –
and shook my head. “No. Just…” I turned my head to hide the tears forming in the
corners of my eyes. “No. Nothing. Have fun, okay?”

“Sure,” she said breezily. “I’l give them al a kiss for you – especial y Luke.” My
head shot up as my eyes narrowed and fil ed with fire. “What?”

Laughing, she patted my head. “That’s what I thought – you stil love him.” She
bent to peck my cheek. “You know I’d never do that. Think about shit while we’re
gone. I mean, real y think. I highly doubt you’l be able to go on this way much

longer.” Morgan smiled sadly as she fol owed Bailey out the door. I slammed the
book shut and hurled it at the wal .

I was stil awake when they returned. I’d changed into pajamas and had the
television on though I wasn’t real y watching it. I turned my head to smile as they
took off their coats and dropped on either side of me.

“Wel , Lucas looks real y shitty like you,” Bailey started. “But he didn’t say
anything. I guess he knew you wouldn’t be there.”

“He’s worried,” Morgan added. “You could see it in his eyes.”

“And Amber wasn’t there, either,” Bailey said with a tiny smirk. “I thought that little
tidbit of info might perk you up.” It did – immensely – but I couldn’t tel them that. I
only nodded and stared at the screen.

Giving up on me, they declared they were going to bed.

***

I fol owed my mother around the house al day Saturday, helping her clean and
organize now that the holidays were over. She did it every year and for once, I
was grateful for the task.

That evening, as she prepared for dinner at the club, I lounged on the sofa, blindly
flipping through the channels. I’d never been much of a television watcher but was
suddenly anxious to take it up the hobby. Or past time – whatever it was.

“Irelyn, you’re not going?” my mother asked softly.

I shook my head, eyes not leaving the TV. There was no way in hel I would set
foot in the club tonight. No way in hel I’d sit at that table and smile like nothing had
happened. Not only would I have to pretend that things were just fine with my
grandfather but with Dustin as wel . As much as my grandfather had … wel …
pissed me off, I would not humiliate him in front of everyone at the club. And
Dustin didn’t deserve it, either.

“Okay,” Mom said softly. “I guess I understand.”

She didn’t but she’d pretend she did for my sake. Hel , I didn’t real y understand it
myself and it was my mess.

I watched them leave and wished them a fun evening before turning back to the
television. I knew I needed to think and figure out what I was going to do but it just

hurt too much.

I curled into a bal on the sofa, focusing on some made for TV movie that real y
didn’t interest me, and before I knew it, Mom and Tommy were back –

Dustin in tow.

“Irelyn, he just wants to talk to you,” my mother said apologetical y. I couldn’t be
mad – she was so worried about me.

“Fine,” I said, standing to shake out the kinks in my muscles. “Let’s go to the
kitchen.” Nodding, Dustin trailed behind me. I pointed at a chair and he sat while I
rummaged through the fridge. I’d forgotten to eat again but nothing real y caught
my eye. I grabbed two cans of soda and joined Dustin at the table.

“I’m sorry, Dustin,” I said, bending the pop tab back and forth on my can. “There’s
no excuse for my behavior.”

“No, Irelyn, I’m the one who is sorry,” he said with sorrowful eyes. My heart went
out to him and I wished I would have never hurt him the way I had. “You told me
you weren’t ready for marriage and like an idiot, I went and popped the question
anyway. And in front of al your friends.” I shook my head – there was no way I
could let him take the blame. “Dustin,”

“No, listen,” he said as he reached across the table and took my hand. “I think I
may have rushed you – backed you in a corner. I never meant that at al . I was just
so eager to start a new life that I didn’t take your feelings into consideration.” The
tears started rol ing and I couldn’t speak. Obviously, he didn’t know about Lucas,
but how was I to tel him? I would break it off with him but I couldn’t tel him about
Lucas. I couldn’t hurt him that way. “Dustin, I can’t see you anymore.” He held up a
hand. “Stop right there. I talked with your grandfather tonight and he told me that
he had a discussion with you after the birthday party. He wouldn’t tel me what was
said but he did tel me that you two made some sort of arrangement. He said that
you had some things you real y needed to think about and that he gave you two
weeks to make up your mind.” He squeezed my hand. “I ask that you please use
the rest of your time to decide if you want to remain my girlfriend - not my fiancée.
Please, don’t break it off yet. Think long and hard. If at the end of your time you stil
think we shouldn’t be together, then I won’t try to stop you.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” I said, determined to end this once and for al – no
more procrastinating. “I’m sorry, Dustin, real y, but it’s over.” He set his lips in a
hard line, studying my face. “Okay, perhaps you’re right. We probably do need to
step back and take a little break.” I tried to protest but he held up a hand. “We’l
take a break and talk when you’re feeling a little more comfortable.”

“I think you should move on,” I suggested softly.

“And I think you need to sleep, Irelyn,” he said, his eyes scrutinizing my face. “You
don’t look wel .”

“I’m fine,” I said, waving away his concerns. “How are you? Dustin, I didn’t mean
to hurt you.”

“Irelyn, stop,” he ordered. “I’m better now that I’ve had a chance to talk to you. I
know you didn’t want to speak to anyone but I’ve been worried.” He got up and
walked around the table to kneel before me. “I’m going to go but please, think
about things. We had something wonderful once and we can have it again.”

He kissed my wet cheek and left out the back door. Resting my head on the table,
I cried.

***

The next week pretty much passed in the same fashion – slow and heart-
wrenching. When the other girls were in class, I utilized the computer to do
research into scholarships, grants and financial aid – even though I knew it was
futile.

I attended class like a zombie, picked at my food, and tossed and turned every
night. I’d get up the next morning just to start the whole routine over again.

Wednesday night, Bailey burst into the room and interrupted my reading. Morgan
was sprawled out on her bed, working on math equations, and she nearly jumped
out of her skin.

“What’s the matter?” Morgan asked, hand pressed to her heart.

“This has got to stop,” Bailey demanded. She pointed a finger at me. “You have
got to do something.”

“I am,” I defended.

“What?” she snorted.

“I’m trying to figure things out,” I said weakly. “I’m working on it.”

“Not very hard,” she said as she paced in front of me. “You look like hel . You don’t
eat or sleep. You barely function. You haven’t written a single word in your
notebooks or have you touched the laptop. You ignore Dustin’s cal s and pretend
like Lucas doesn’t exist.” Sighing, I closed my eyes, shielding myself from her

truths. “Bailey, you don’t understand.”

“You’re right – I don’t,” she said. “Because you won’t explain what’s going on. You
won’t talk to us. You won’t talk to your mom.” She plopped on the coffee table and
glared at me. “Al you do is sit around here moping.”

“Because I have two weeks to come to a decision,” I blurted. Horror washed over
me as I gauged their stunned reactions. “Okay, wel , I had two weeks.” I released
a drawn out breath. “I don’t want to get into it.”

“So, Grandpop gave you two weeks to decide if you want to marry Dustin or run
off with Lucas? And if you take Lucas, he cuts you out of the wil ?” Bailey asked.

“It’s a little more complicated than that,” I whispered.

“Screw money,” Bailey exclaimed, throwing her hands in the air. “I have plenty and
it’s not al that.” Standing, I shook my head at her. “I said, it’s a little more
complicated than that.”

“So, what’s so complicated, huh? Let us in on it – maybe we can help.”

“You can’t help,” I said, pesky tears surfacing again. I wiped at them angrily, total y
pissed that they insisted on making an appearance. “No one can help.”

“Is he making you choose between Dustin and Lucas?” Morgan asked softly.

I bit my lip. “Not exactly.”

“Then what the hel is the man doing to you?” Bailey demanded. “Fess up, Irelyn. I
swear, it wil be between us. You’l feel better if you tel us and maybe we can help
you with a solution.”

“No, you can’t,” I said as I stalked off to the bathroom. I slammed the door and
locked it. When I reemerged twenty minutes later, they gave me the silent
treatment. And when they fel asleep that night, I crept back to the bathroom with a
pen and paper and drafted a letter to Lucas. It was the hardest thing I’d ever
written – but I had to do it.

Lucas,

I’m sorry about this whole mess but I made it and now I must clean it up. You’ll
always be so very special to me and no one will ever touch my heart the way you
have.

I’ve had to make some tough choices and while I don’t necessarily like them – it
was something I had to do.

I’m sorry if I’ve hurt you because that was never my intention. You are a wonderful
person and deserve better than that. And I’m sorry I have to do this this way but I
don’t really have much of a choice. Besides, if I did this face-to-face, I’d probably
weaken and beg you to take me in your arms. But I can’t be with you, as much as
it pains me, and I think you should move on.

Thank you for all that you are and all that you’ve done for me. You’ll always be
special in my heart.

Love,

Irelyn

P.S. I hope you like the story.

I shoved the letter in an envelope along with the story he’d asked me to write. At
least on paper, I was his.

I sealed the envelope, scrawled his name on it, and crawled back into bed.

Friday night, I handed the envelope to Bailey and she took it, sympathy in her
eyes. Once they left, I curled up on my bed and emptied the wel of tears in the pit
of my heart.

Chapter 19

My two week deadline came and went but I ignored it. I didn’t even go see
Grandfather. I just didn’t care. I’d ended it with Lucas – and Dustin - and Tommy’s
future was safe. What was left to say?

Oh, I knew he would want to discuss my relationship with Dustin but there was no
reason. I wouldn’t marry Dustin nor would I marry anyone else. I would never date
again so he wouldn’t have to worry. If I couldn’t have Lucas then I wanted no one.

Bailey had delivered my note the previous weekend – she mentioned it to me in
passing like we were discussing sports scores- and I’d just nodded. I hadn’t asked
anything about it and she hadn’t offered any information. I knew I was pushing her
and Morgan away but I couldn’t help it. I dived headfirst into despair and I didn’t

even reach for a life preserver.

I stil avoided the country club and Dustin. It was wrong to not talk to him but I
didn’t have the strength. I couldn’t look in his eyes without thinking about Lucas.
And it made me feel even worse.

My grandfather cal ed me Friday night after Bailey and Morgan left for Rusty’s. I
reluctantly took his cal . It had been nearly three weeks since our talk and I figured
he wanted to gloat.

“Irelyn, I am disappointed that you haven’t come to see me,” he said. I didn’t utter
a word. “But I am very proud that you have managed to stay away from that other
boy. I take it you’ve made your decision?”

“Yes,” I said in a strangled voice. “I wrote him a letter and told him that I couldn’t
see him anymore.”

“Good,” he said sounding smug. “And Dustin?”

“I, um, ended things with him, too.”

“He seems to think that you two are only taking a little time away from each other
and that you may reconcile soon,” he said, a hopeful note in his voice.

I cringed, knowing that I didn’t want to see Dustin – or anyone else for that matter.
But I wasn’t ready to tel my grandfather that. “I don’t know.”

“Wel , give yourself a little more time then maybe you and Dustin can make
amends.” He cleared his throat – a sign that he was uncomfortable. “I’m, um, wil
ing to, um, pay for a vacation for you two for spring break. I may be old but I know
what you have been up to with him.” My jaw fel in shock – and horror. I shouldn’t
have been astonished – he already knew about me and Lucas. But for him to pay
to send me and Dustin on some sort of romantic getaway – ew.

“Thank you but I don’t know if that wil be necessary. I just need a little time to
figure out where Dustin fits in my life.”

“Spoken like a mature young lady,” he gloated. My stomach turned.

“Thank you,” I muttered.

“Wel , just let me know. We don’t have to tel your mother about the trip – I’l come
up with something.”

“Sure,” I said, al of a sudden feeling dirty. So, it was okay for me to go have sex
with Dustin somewhere but not okay for me to have sex with Lucas? I wanted to

get a hold of Grandfather’s morals book.

“Wil you be at the club Saturday?” he asked.

“I don’t know,” I said. I stil wasn’t ready. “Maybe.”

“Fine. Take care, Irelyn and relax – you’ve made the right decision.”

I hung up on him, not caring if he considered it rude. I threw my phone across the
room, smiling when it bounced off the wal . I hoped it broke.

***

I didn’t go to the club Saturday night. I didn’t even go home. I told my mother I
needed to work on some assignments and I was staying on campus. It was just an
effort to further alienate myself from those that I loved but why not? My life was hel
anyway.

I couldn’t stop thinking about Lucas. I wondered what he was doing and if he’d
decided to see anyone else. Had he found a replacement for me? Oh, I prayed it
wasn’t Amber.

Bailey and Morgan, who’d pretty much left me to my own devices lately, cornered
me Saturday night. I was not expecting it so I was not prepared for their attack.

“Here,” Bailey said, shoving a blue dress at me. “Go get dressed.”

“For what?” I said as I fingered the thin material. “I’m not going anywhere.”

“Yes you are,” Morgan said, her soft voice unwavering. “You’re going with us
tonight so no arguments.”

“Where am I going?” I asked, perplexed. A little excitement stirred inside my dead
heart. It had been awhile since I’d done anything.

“We’re going to a birthday party,” Bailey said, a shine in her eyes. “I promise, no
marriage proposals.” Her words stabbed my heart but I ignored it. She was only
trying to rile me up so I would go with her. “Yeah, fine. Who’s party?”

“Spencer’s,” Bailey grinned. “It’s his birthday.”

My head began shaking back and forth. “No. Oh, no.”

“Come on, Irelyn,” Morgan pleaded. “He wants you there.”

“Wil Lucas be there?” I asked.

“Of course,” Bailey said. “And he told us that he wouldn’t even talk to you if it
made you uncomfortable.” A tremor began at my toes and shimmied its way up my
body. “I’l be uncomfortable in the same room with him.”

“You can’t sit in this room forever,” Bailey said. “You need to start living again.” I
wanted to tel her that I preferred to sit there, wal owing in self-pity and pain. I
wanted to remind her that I was a habitual procrastinator and that was why I stil
hadn’t talked to Dustin and why I hadn’t even attempted to deal with the pain of
losing Lucas.

But I was weak, too. And I wanted to look at Lucas again. I longed to see his
crinkly-eyed smile. I ached to touch him – even if it was just brushing against his
arm.

And I wanted to see how he was doing.

Sighing heavily, I held up the dress. “Maybe I’l go,” I relented. Morgan squealed as
she tugged me off the bed. “But just for a little while,” I told her sternly.

“Perfect,” Bailey smirked. “Go get dressed and we’l fix your hair.”

I rol ed my eyes but as I walked to the bathroom, my heart felt a little lighter. I pul
ed the dress over my head and admired my reflection. The dress was snug and
perhaps a little lower cut than I preferred. But the color played up my eyes and the
skirt tangled around my legs. I smiled a little.

“Hey,” Bailey yel ed. “Can we come in?”

“Yeah,” I said, stil admiring the dress.

When Bailey pushed through the door, she let out a low whistle. “You look
beautiful, Irelyn.” I blushed. “Thanks.”

Morgan pushed me down on the toilet and began combing my hair. Bailey
attacked my face and by the time they finished, I barely recognized myself.

“You two are going through an awful lot of trouble for a birthday party,” I said
suspiciously. “You’re not trying to get me and Lucas back together, are you?”

“Nope,” Bailey said as she blotted my lips. “Just want you to feel better about
yourself.” I rol ed my eyes but didn’t argue.

Morgan dropped a pair of heels at my feet. They matched the dress perfectly. I

slipped my feet in them before grabbing my coat. “Let’s get this over with.”

***

I fol owed the girls up the metal steps to Spencer’s apartment – trying desperately
to remember the last time I’d traveled up them, wrapped in Lucas’s arms. The heel
of my shoe stuck in a hole in the grate, stopping my progress, forcing me to yank it
loose. I sighed. That probably wasn’t a good sign.

Spencer greeted us, mild surprise in his eyes when he spotted me, and took al our
coats. He deposited them in the guest room I had no desire whatsoever to go in. I
averted my eyes, trailing behind my friends, not eager to look at anyone, either.

Spencer’s apartment was bigger than I thought. I’d never real y had a chance to
look around since the only time I’d been there was the first time with Lucas. And
I’d been far too occupied to admire the décor.

The place sprawled across the top of Rusty’s. The living room was huge and had
a large, plasma TV resting on an entertainment center against the wal .

The furniture was like the Newton brothers’ furniture – mismatched but
comfortable. And the kitchen, where the girls had taken me, was even larger.

Spencer had placed several tubs fil ed with ice and various beverages on the floor.
Bending, I dug through the frigid water for a soda.

My hands trembled as I leaned against the counter, watching as Bailey and
Morgan chatted lightly with Spencer. Bailey handed him a gift and whispered
something in his ear that made his cheeks turn red. Taking the gift, he
disappeared behind a door.

“What did you get him?” I asked. She grinned. “Never mind. I don’t want to know.”

“He’s just putting it in his bedroom for later,” she said with a wink. She glanced
around the empty kitchen as if waiting for something – or someone – to pop out at
us. “Lucas isn’t here yet.”

My heart stil ed aw I nodded, sipping my soda. My nervousness abated for the
moment, al owing my lungs the chance to fil and empty at a normal pace.

When Spencer returned, he hugged me again before pecking my cheek. “You look
beautiful, dear. But you don’t look like you’ve slept in a month.” Shrugging off his

concerns, I tried to smile. “I’m fine, Spencer.”

“They did tel you that Lucas is coming, right?” he frowned as he pointed at Bailey
and Morgan. “Because I’l not have you here under false pretenses.” I patted his
stomach before standing on my toes to press a kiss to his cheek. “They told me.
It’s al right. I can’t avoid him forever.” Spencer cupped my chin as he stared into
my eyes. “Irelyn, he loves you – whether he ever tel s you or not. He misses you.
Oh, he goes to work and to the gigs and he hangs out – but he’s just not total y
there anymore. Maybe you two fooled yourselves into thinking that what you had
was just a fling – but it wasn’t. Not for either of you. I saw that, Col in saw that, the
girls saw that.”

“I don’t want to talk about this now, Spencer,” I said as I jerked my chin out of his
grasp. “I’m sorry.” He expel ed a long breath. “Okay, darling. No problem.”

I smiled at him as we al turned our head toward the doorway. It sounded as
though a large group of people had arrived and Spencer dashed off to greet them.
My body trembled as I wondered if Lucas was in that group and if he would speak
to me. I wondered if I should speak to him. I wondered what I should say. I
wondered if I would slip up and tel him I love him.

“There’s my girl!” Col in announced as he bounded into the room and swept me off
my feet, twirling me around. He kissed my cheek as he careful y set me down.
“You look ravishing, darling.”

“Thanks,” I laughed. I hadn’t realized how much I’d missed Col in until he was right
in front of me. “You look good, too.” He kissed my cheek again and let his lips
linger near my ear. “My brother is in the other room if you’d like to talk to him. He
knows you’re in here –

Spencer told him. But he won’t come in here because he doesn’t want to make
you uncomfortable.” I sighed heavily and real y loud. “He doesn’t have to do that,
Col in,” I said as I pul ed away. “I don’t want him to walk on eggshel s around me.
He should be able to have a good time.”

“Tel him that,” he grinned. He dug three beers out of the cooler before heading
toward the living room. “Oh, and you don’t need to walk on eggshel s around him,
either.”

When he left, I glanced at my friends. I took a deep breath and held it, hoping it
would summon some courage. My entire body shook as I released the breath. I
wanted to see him terribly but I didn’t want to see him, either.

“Just go say hi,” Bailey urged. “It won’t hurt.”

“I wil ,” I said. I set my soda can on the counter. “Come with me,” I asked as if I

were at an elementary school dance and was about to tel my crush I thought he
was cute.

“Let’s go,” Morgan said, taking my arm.

When we entered the living room, my eyes eagerly scanned every face looking for
his. When I found it, I nearly col apsed. He was stil so beautiful but he was talking
to a girl I didn’t recognize. And when he smiled at something she said, my heart
cracked right down the middle.

“I can’t do this,” I whispered. As I struggled to free my arm from Morgan, he final y
noticed me. The smile slipped off his face as his eyes met mine. I froze while my
blood boiled. I stil wanted him and the time apart had only increased my need.

The girl touched his arm and he dropped his eyes, giving her his attention again
but his body had tensed as his lips formed a straight line.

“Just stay here,” Bailey ordered. “You can talk to him in a second. And no,” she
said when I opened my mouth, “he is not dating that girl.” I relaxed a fraction of an
inch, smiling warmly when Tori approached me. She wrapped me in her arms.
“I’ve missed you, Irelyn,” she whispered in my ear.

“And I’m sorry you and Lucas are having troubles.” She stepped back to appraise
me. “You look beautiful but it’s just a façade, I can tel .” Bailey squeezed my arm
and dashed off to meet Spencer’s friends. I watched her go as I pondered Tori’s
words. I lifted a shoulder, fighting the tears that just loved to bug me at the worst
times. “I’m fine.”

“No, not real y,” she said. “But you and Lucas wil make up soon and then you’l be
fine.” I longed for her confidence. I longed for her to be right. But I knew better.
“Thanks, Tori.”

“Irelyn,” a voice purred from behind, making my heart fel to the floor. “How are
you?” I turned to face Owen’s leering smirk. “Fine, thanks.”

“You are a vision,” he said as his eyes traveled slowly up and down my body.
“What an exquisite woman you are.”

“Please,” I said, in a weak voice. “Don’t start with me.”

“What?” he laughed, hand over his heart. “I’m not al owed to compliment you?”

“I’d rather you didn’t.” I glanced at Lucas again, wishing he’d come rescue me. “In
fact, I’m not real y in the mood to talk.” I swirled on my heels, stumbled, and
escaped to the kitchen.

Morgan fol owed. “Are you al right?”

“Fine,” I said.

“Why are you running from me?” Owen asked.

“I’m not,” I said through clenched teeth. “Now go away.”

He shrugged, grabbed a beer, and left. Morgan questioned me with her eyes so I
explained about the New Year’s party and how obnoxious and rude Owen had
been. My heart twinged when I remembered Lucas keeping a possessive hand on
me and cal ing me his. I sucked in gobs of oxygen to fight the tears that I knew
were planning an attack on my eyes and managed to keep them at bay.

Once I banished my encounter with Owen, I settled in a little, beginning to enjoy
being out of my dorm as I chatted with Morgan and Tori most of the night. I didn’t
speak to Lucas but I was constantly aware of his whereabouts – and the girl that
kept engaging him in conversation. Everyone kept tel ing me that he wasn’t dating
her and he wasn’t interested in her – and I believed them – but it was obvious she
was interested in him. She shadowed him everywhere he went and always
managed to touch his arm or his hand. I seethed as jealousy burned a hole in my
stomach.

As the night wore on, my soul could take no more. I wanted to get out of there and
get home. I couldn’t stand being in the same room with Lucas any longer without
being able to touch him. I’d lost track of Morgan and Bailey so I wandered into the
kitchen to see if I could locate either one.

Owen was bent over the beer tub but he straightened when I walked into the
room. “Wel , hel o again,” he said with an ugly smile. “Are you lonely, little one?”

I snorted. “No and even if I was I wouldn’t be that desperate.”

He laughed loudly, his eyes shining. “Oh, Lucas was a fool to let you go.”

Stiffening, I narrowed my eyes. “It wasn’t his fault.”

“Real y, now?” he said as he took a step toward me. “So you’re the one who let
him go? Why, looking for a real man?” I backed up - right into a hard body. I knew
who’s it was instantly. “Leave her alone, Owen. She’s not interested.” He chuckled.
“Maybe she is, Luke. I mean, didn’t she dump you?”

“I did not dump him,” I fumed. “Stay out of it!”

Lucas wrapped his hand around mine, tugging gently on my arm. “Wil you come
with me, love?” he whispered, his lips close to my ear. “Just to talk. If you don’t

want to, I understand.”

When I turned to face him, my heart leapt up to my throat. I nodded as I stared,
mesmerized by his eyes.

He smiled but it never crinkled his eyes. He led me through the living room and
into the spare bedroom. My heart flipped wildly, remembering the last time we’d
been in there.

“Sorry,” he said as his eyes grew. “Maybe we should talk somewhere else.”

I shook my head. “No, Luke. This is okay.”

He cupped my cheek. “I miss you.”

I swal owed, nearly choking on the size of the lump in my throat. “I miss you, too.”
Licking his lips, he dropped his eyes to the floor. “Irelyn, I’ve had to fight myself to
not cal you or come see you. I could tel the night of the party that you had
something major to deal with and you needed space to do that.” He raised his face
to mine. “But it’s kil ing me. And when I got your letter – that kil ed me more.
What’s going on – can you tel me?”

I took a deep breath. “It’s so complicated. It’s…a mess.”

“I know it is,” he said. “But maybe it wil help if you tel someone. Bailey and Morgan
told me that you haven’t been yourself and that you’re not sleeping wel and that
you won’t confide in them.” He squeezed my hand. “Let someone help you, love.
Please.” Tears clotted my throat and made speech impossible. I blinked rapidly,
trying to clear my eyes.

When I didn’t speak, Lucas lifted my left hand to kiss it. “Wel , I noticed right away
that you weren’t wearing Dustin’s ring. I’m glad to see you didn’t sel yourself out.”

“Maybe. Maybe not.”

Worry lined his forehead and concern shimmered in his eyes. “What did your
grandfather make you do, Irelyn? What did he make you promise? I know he’s
behind al this. Does he know about us?”

I nodded, stil biting my lip.

Lucas cursed colorful y as he ran his hands through his hair. “Who told him?”

“I don’t know,” I whispered. Lucas turned away from me, his hands stil frantic in his
hair. His shoulders slumped and I ached to wrap my arms around him. I was just
afraid if I did, I wouldn’t let go.

He spun and rushed back to me. He took my hands in his, bending to my level.
“Listen to me, Irelyn, you aren’t the only one in this mess – I am, too. And just like
the pregnancy scare, I’m not going to leave you high and dry. I’l help you with al of
this – do whatever I can. I just don’t want to see you hurt anymore. And I want you
back in my life.”

“I can’t be in your life, Lucas,” I said. My heart thumped angrily but I plunged
ahead. “I can’t. I had to make a choice and I did.”

“Is this the deal about finding yourself? Trying to figure out who to be like?” he
asked, a touch of rage in his beautiful eyes. “About not being like your mother?
Because your mom knew how to live. Maybe she didn’t realize her dreams but she
sure as hel tried. You say you don’t want to be her but you’re drifting toward being
just like your grandparents. Are you going to be happy married to Dustin or
someone like him? Being a wife and a mother in some suburb? Carting kids to
soccer practice while you try to find time to write that book you always wanted? Or
would you be happier getting out there and trying to make your dream come true?
This isn’t about us, Irelyn and it’s not about you and Dustin. It’s just about you. You
need to figure out what you want.

You don’t have to be your mother and you don’t have to be your grandparents.
Just be you.” His words penetrated my ears and the thick, protective fog in my
brain. He was right – so right- but where did Tommy fit in? “Luke…” He cupped my
cheek as his eyes softened. “No, Irelyn, please listen to me. I …”

A calamity in the living room interrupted him and he dropped his hand from my
face. Stil keeping a firm hold on my other hand, he squeezed it as he took a
tentative step toward the door. But the door flew open and Dustin appeared, his
handsome face beet red in rage.

“What the hel are you doing here?” he demanded.

Chapter 20

Dustin barged into the room, his handsome features distorted by anger. I was
shocked- I’d never seen such emotion on his face before.

“Irelyn, what the hel are you doing here?” he demanded. He glared at Lucas’s
hand holding mine and his shoulders went taut.

“It’s Spencer’s birthday,” I defended. “What are you doing here?”

“Why are you hanging around this scum?” he said. His burning eyes remained on
Lucas as he inched closer.

I sensed Lucas tense and I just knew things were going to sour. I dropped Lucas’s
hand and placed mine on his chest while I reached out to Dustin. “Hang on,” I
started.

Dustin grabbed my wrist, yanking me out of the room. “We need to talk.”

“Let go of me, Dustin,” I shouted as I tried to wrench free. I glanced over my
shoulder at Lucas. His beautiful eyes were wide and ful of surprise.

“Let her go,” Lucas ordered as he fol owed us, shaking out of his stupor.

Dustin pushed through the surprised crowd and ripped the door open, stil dragging
me behind him. I struggled to free my hand but his grip was so tight it nearly
stopped blood flow.

Just as he stepped out on to the landing, Lucas reached us and took my arm. “I
said, let her go,” he demanded through clenched teeth. His blazing eyes made my
heart shiver in alarm. He gently tugged me closer.

But Dustin would have none of it. “She doesn’t belong here with you. Release her
arm – I’m taking her home.”

“Both of you let me go now!” I shouted, startling them as if they’d forgotten I was
there. Lucas relinquished his hold as his eyes softened. I tried to smile at him but I
couldn’t muster the necessary muscles. I sucked in a breath and turned to Dustin.
“Let go of my hand,” I requested in a quiet voice. He did.

They both stared each other down as though they were junk yard dog and
intruder. I backed up, wondering how to diffuse the situation. Something caught
the corner of my eye and I spotted Morgan peeking through the blinds. I wanted to
cal her out to help me but I knew it was time that I settled this – on my own. Let
the chips fal where they may.

“She’l never settle down with the likes of you,” Dustin spit, his handsome face
curled up in a nasty sneer.

“And you’re so much better? The one her grandparents bought?” Lucas shot back.

“Stop,” I whispered desperately. “Just stop!”

It was like I wasn’t there at al . The tears streaming from my face had no effect on

any of us.

“Irelyn, let’s go,” Dustin said, his voice quivering. “If your grandfather finds out
you’re here…”

“I don’t care,” I said. I paused as realization set in. “You know about that?”

“She’s an adult and if she wants to be at her friend’s birthday party, then she has
every right,” Lucas said in a calm voice, speaking over me, but I could see the
tension in his shoulders and the tight fists at his sides.

“This is exactly why her grandfather wants her with me,” Dustin said, narrowing his
eyes at Lucas. “Her grandfather only wants to protect her - keep her from turning
into her mother.”

“What’s wrong with my mother?” I demanded.

Dustin rol ed his eyes, infuriating me. I pul ed up to my ful height, ready to fight if I
had to. “Sweetheart, you know as wel as I do that you don’t want to end up like
her. You’ve said so many times.”

“Maybe I was wrong,” I whispered.

Dustin’s eyes swel ed to the size of watermelons as his jaw fel . “You…” he said as
he shook a finger at me. “You want to be like her? You want to be … a whore?”

“She is not a whore. And neither am I,” I defended though deep inside I wondered
if he was right. “Right?” A brisk wind caressed our cheeks as it fil ed the silence
that had descended on us. I ducked my head, too ashamed to look at either one of
them.

“Irelyn,” Lucas whispered, breaking the stil ness. “Love, you’re not a whore.” He
reached for me but Dustin stepped between us, his eyes spitting daggers.

“What would you know about it?” Dustin said, his voice high and tight. “You don’t
know a damn thing about her. You’re just what she uses to get her mother’s
influence out of her system,” Dustin screamed. I paled. Did he know what I’d
done? Oh, who the hel cared? “That’s the only reason why she hangs out at that
bar and with people like you.”

“Dustin,” I tried to say.

“What the hel do you know about her?” Lucas answered. “What the hel do you
care? You see her as a trophy and not the person she is.” Lucas’s eyes darted to
me quickly then focused on Dustin. I gripped the rail, the metal instantly freezing
my fingers.

“I know more about her than you could ever imagine,” Lucas continued taking a
precarious step toward Dustin. “Maybe if you would have taken the time to real y
talk to her – get to real y know her- none of us would be here right now.” Dustin’s
cheeks flushed and the muscles in his jaw twitched. As he drew closer to Lucas,
my body shook as if someone were shaking a new bottle of ketchup.

“Have you been messing around with my girlfriend? Huh?” He stepped closer so
they were nearly toe-to-toe. Another inch and they’d be kissing. “Did you…”

“Did I what?” Lucas asked as a sarcastic smirk crossed his lips. “Did I kiss her?
Did I take her home with me? Did I have sex with her?”

“Lucas,” I pleaded, but he paid me no mind. My heartbeat tripled and I held a hand
over my chest, hoping to stil it. I hated the way he spoke. It kil ed me.

“Did you?” Dustin asked with a raised brow.

Lucas slowly folded his arms across his chest as his smirk grew. “Ask her.”

“I’m asking you,” Dustin said, his face total y devoid of color except for two bright
red splotches on his cheeks. He leaned into Lucas’s face. “Did you sleep with my
girlfriend? Did you turn my sweet Irelyn into some kind of tramp? Is that why she
was so eager to ditch me?” Lucas grinned knowingly, his beautiful eyes dark and
ugly with anger. I didn’t want to hear his answer yet at the same time, I did. I
wanted to know what he’d say. Would he protect me or would he throw me out to
sea to see if I’d sink or swim? Either way, I knew this moment would be the
defining moment.

This moment would end one relationship – maybe both. No matter what
happened, no one would win.

When I caught the twitch of Dustin’s wrists, I pushed away from the rail. He swung
and connected with Lucas’s jaw. Lucas stumbled, throwing a hand back to brace
himself. He shook his head and a hateful smile took over his face.

“Stop!” I shouted.

Lucas recovered and aimed a fist at Dustin’s eye. Dustin was expecting retaliation
but not the force of Lucas’s swing. He fel to the metal platform. Lucas bent and
grabbed the lapel of his jacket, yanking him to his feet. Shaking him off, Dustin
charged. Lucas pushed him away, causing Dustin to bump the rail.

“I wil hurt you and I don’t real y want to,” Lucas growled. “You better stop now
while you can.” Dustin fingered his eye gingerly as his lips fel to a furious frown.
“What did you do to her? What did you say to make her sleep with you? Because

you did, didn’t you? You slept with my girlfriend.”

“I said to ask her,” Lucas repeated, his voice low.

“She has a promising life ahead of her,” Dustin said as he took a step toward
Lucas. “You’l only ruin it. You’l take everything away from her. Leave her alone.
Stay away from her.”

Lucas ground his teeth and clenched his fists. “Is that what you tel al your frat
buddies? That you’l give her a wonderful life? Did you ever stop to think that
maybe she’s something special and that’s why she has a promising life in front of
her? That it has nothing to do with you?”

“Knock it off,” I shouted again, bul ying my way between them. I couldn’t stand to
hear the way they were talking about me. I hated that they were fighting because
of me. I was the bad guy here – not either of them.

“Irelyn, stay out of this,” Dustin said. He swept me forceful y back and the heel of
my shoe stuck in the grate of the landing. I wind-mil ed my arms in a desperate
attempt to keep my balance but my foot slipped out of the shoe and I went down.

I heard Lucas cal my name but it sounded as if I was underwater as the world
flipped and turned. My head bounced off the steps like a basketbal and I
attempted to protect my neck with my arms. The force of my rol ing and thumping
body knocked my arms away and banged them against the rail and the stairs.

I landed with a final thud to the snow packed concrete at the foot of the stairway.
Oxygen whooshed out of my lungs as my back whacked the ground and I gasped
desperately for air. The sky above me spun and I squeezed my eyes shut to keep
from vomiting.

“Irelyn!” Lucas shouted as he dropped next to me.

“Get away from her,” Dustin ordered as he grabbed my hand.

I sucked frantical y as my lungs cried for air. Moisture col ected in my eyes and
tears fel down my cheeks. Final y, I managed to get oxygen and I wheezed in
relief.

“Irelyn, darling,” Col in gasped from somewhere in the distance as thudding
footsteps thundered around me. “Spence, cal an ambulance!”

“Both of you get the hel away from her,” I heard Bailey order; her voice more
deadly than I’d ever heard it. “Now! And I mean it.” The clatter of feet shuffling
away scared me. “No. Don’t.”

“I’m right here,” Col in said near my ear. He slipped a couple fingers in my curled
hand. “Squeeze, darling, if you can.” His voice was soft and soothing and I loved
that he was there by my side. I forced my brain to focus on whatever muscles I
needed to utilize to fol ow his order. I managed a weak squeeze and the smile in
his voice was obvious.

“Good,” he said. He returned the squeeze as a tiny sob rattled my chest. I wanted
to open my eyes and look in his – they were so much like Lucas’s.

“Irelyn,” Morgan whispered tearful y. “I’m here. Do you want me to cal your
mother?”

“No. Not. Yet.” I managed to mutter. I opened my eyes and Col in’s anxious face
blurred and fluttered and spun. My stomach rol ed as bile fil ed my throat.

“Sick.”

“Breathe slowly,” Col in coaxed. “We can’t move you, honey, and you don’t want to
choke. Concentrate on breathing.” I wanted to nod but I couldn’t. My head was
one big boulder being attacked by jackhammers. I did as he asked, my ears
straining to clear. “Morg. Stay.”

“I’m staying right here with you,” Morgan assured me. “Where does it hurt?”

I focused on the location of the various aches and pains in my body. My head
pounded and every bone screamed in protest. “Every. Where.”

“Hang on, darling,” Col in cooed. His hand – or perhaps Morgan’s – caressed my
forehead.

“Irelyn, love,” I heard Lucas’s weak voice cal . My heart longed for him.

“Don’t talk to her!” Dustin screamed. I winced and Col in squeezed my hand again.
“This is al your fault.”

“Shut up!” Bailey yel ed. “Both of you! You’l only upset her. Think of her and not
yourselves.” Awareness seeped in and I suddenly realized that I was lying in snow
wearing a thin dress. A shiver encompassed my body, aggravating my pain.
“Cold.”

“Okay, hang on,” Col in said. “Tori, grab a blanket, please.”

I wondered where Lucas and Dustin were and if they were stil fighting behind
Bailey’s back. I couldn’t hear wel – someone must have shoved cotton or snow or
something in my ears. “Luke. Dustin.”

“They’re stil here,” Morgan said tearful y. “They’re with Bailey.”

“Fighting.”

“No, they’re not fighting anymore,” Col in said. The comforting hand continued to
gently push the hair off my forehead. “They stopped. They’re both very worried
about you.”

“I’m. Okay.”

Col in chuckled and Morgan barked out a teary laugh. “We know,” Col in said. “Ah,
thanks, Tori.” I peeked through cracked lids in time to see a blanket fal ing over
me. My stomach turned again and I closed my eyes. “Better?”

“Yes.” A fresh wave of tears arrived and I just wanted Lucas. But I didn’t want
Dustin hurt more than he already was. I released a painful breath. “Lucas.

Dustin.”

“What, darling?” Col in asked. “Do you want them here by you?”

I nodded, whimpering in pain. “For a…minute.”

“Luke and Dustin,” Col in cal ed in a defeated voice. “Irelyn wants to see you
both.”

“Don’t say a thing to upset her,” Bailey threatened.

I sensed Lucas on my left and felt Dustin take my right hand. “Irelyn, sweetheart?”
Dustin said.

“We’re both here, love,” Lucas said as he caressed my cheek. “Hold on and we’l
get you fixed up.” The despair and panic in both their voices fed my guilt. “Sorry,” I
managed to whisper. “So. Sorry.” My body continued to shiver and shake,
aggravating pain everywhere.

“Don’t worry about anything right now,” Dustin said. “We’l work this al out once
you’re better.” Lucas continued to stroke my cheek and I wanted desperately to
look at him. I tried to open my eyes but the nausea returned. I flinched. “Gonna.
Puke.”

“Do like Col in said, love,” Lucas coached. “Breathe slowly. Concentrate on
something else. We can’t move you. We can’t rol you to your side.” The wail of a
siren penetrated the blockage in my ears and I heard Morgan heave a relieved
sigh. The wailing grew louder. Tires crunched on the snow and the heat from a
vehicle warmed my face.

“Back up, please,” a strange voice ordered. I felt Dustin and Lucas move away
from me and the tears in my eyes increased. “Hi, miss. I’m Paula. Can you tel me
what hurts?”

“Head. Everything.”

She chuckled softly as her gentle hands lifted the blanket to examine my body.
Another set of hands eased a neck brace around my neck. “I’m Travis. Can you
please open your eyes?”

I did and my pupils were immediately assaulted with a beam of light. My stomach
clenched and I irked a few times.

“Rol her, Paula,” Travis ordered. “She’s going to vomit.”

They got me to my side in time for me to heave everything I’d eaten in the past
few hours al over the snow. I coughed and spit and shivered.

“Are you done?” Paula asked as she pushed my hair off my face.

“Think so,” I said.

“We’re going to put you on a board now,” Travis said. They eased me onto a dry
surface and even though they were gentle, my body screeched. My chest rose
and fel rapidly as I tried to fight the pain.

“Easy, honey,” Paula said. “I know it hurts.”

“Oh my God,” I heard Morgan gasp. “There’s blood in the snow!”

Panic crept up my throat and my eyes burst open. Paula smiled at me as she and
Travis lifted me to a gurney. “You have a head laceration – its fine.”

“Has she been drinking tonight?” Travis asked.

“Um, I don’t think so,” Col in said. “Luke – did Irelyn drink anything alcoholic?” My
heart stil ed as Lucas’s trembling voice fil ed my ears. “No, I didn’t see her drinking
anything. Better ask Bailey.”

“Just soda,” Bailey said.

“Would you like someone to ride with you?” Paula asked.

I stretched out an arm and winced as pain radiated up my shoulder. “Morg. Bailey.”

“Only one person, honey,” Travis said as they shoved me in the ambulance.

“Go, Morgan,” Col in said. “Bailey, Spencer, and I wil fol ow in my car.”

“Don’t,” I said, swal owing. “Don’t leave….Luke and….Dustin…alone.”

“They’l have to deal,” Morgan said in a hard voice. “It’s their fault you’re in this
ambulance.” I shook my head making my stomach rol again. I closed my eyes.
“No. Accident.”

“I know it was an accident,” Morgan said as the ambulance sped away, sirens
once again causing a ruckus in the night. “But if they hadn’t been fighting, you
wouldn’t have fal en.”

Fatigue flooded me and I wanted to sleep.

“Stick with me, Irelyn,” Paula ordered. I thought she must be a mind reader. “We’re
almost there.” When we final y reached the hospital, I kept my eyes glued shut as
the gurney jostled and sped to a bright room. I cracked my eyes open and found a
horde of medical professionals hovering over me, removing my clothes and
dressing me in a hospital gown. People shouted orders at each other and my skin
was pricked and my body prodded. My stomach rol ed but panic was first and
foremost in my mind.

“Hi, Irelyn,” a smiling man with glasses greeted. “I’m Dr. Nickels. We’re going to
need to take some x-rays and run some tests. Is there anything that hurts worse
than everything else?”

“My head,” I mumbled.

“Okay. You have a laceration on the back of your head and we’l stitch that up in a
minute. Anything else?”

“Everywhere hurts.”

He patted my arm gently. “Just relax. We’l give you something for the pain after we
check you out thoroughly. Is your mother or father here?”

“Her mother is on the way,” I heard Morgan say. I wanted to move my head to find
her but the neck brace prevented me.

A nurse helped me to sit up and pressed something to the back of my head. I
winced, crying out. “We’re going to take you for x-rays before we stitch you.” They
wheeled me out of the room and my eyes darted at the faces gathered nervously

outside the doors. They al rushed to the gurney as the nurses pushed me through
them.

My heart fluttered when I spotted Lucas leaning against a wal , his dejected head
bent. He lifted his eyes to mine and smiled weakly. I wanted him. I tried to reach
for him but my arms felt unbelievably heavy.

Shame jumped in the fray and mixed with everything else going inside my body.

After they x-rayed everything they could and examined every part of me, my head
stil pounded as they wheeled me back toward the trauma room. My eyes
remained closed as the bright lights only intensified my pain.

“Irelyn, honey,” I heard my mother squeal as she walked beside the gurney. I
smiled as I opened and closed my fingers. She slipped her hand in mine as the
doctor spoke to her. The nurses parked my gurney and eased me upright. The
neck brace had long ago been banished and I was grateful. It had started to itch.
“Oh, sweetie,” Mom cried.

“Your daughter is very lucky,” the doctor said. “Nothing is broken but she is
banged up pretty good. She’s going to be very sore for at least a week –

probably longer.”

I breathed a little easier.

“We’l give you something for the pain,” a nurse whispered as something pricked
and stung the back of my head.

“I’m going to stitch this cut up back here, Irelyn,” he said. “You’l feel a little pul but
if it hurts, let me know and I’l numb it some more.” I didn’t dare nod – not with a
needle by my head. “Okay.”

“She has a mild concussion and we’d like to keep her overnight just in case,” the
doctor continued. “But she’l be able to go home in the morning.”

“Okay,” my mom said as she squeezed my hand.

When they finished with me, they left me with my mother to see about a room. The
nurse injected me with some kind of pain kil er and my mind fogged. My body
relaxed and my lids grew heavy.

“Mom,” I croaked. “I’m sorry.”

“Shh, honey,” she said. “It wil be okay, don’t worry about it tonight.”

“But, I made such a mess,” I cried.

She brushed my cheeks with soft fingers. “And we’l fix it – just not tonight.” She
kissed my forehead. “Bailey, Morgan and the others told me what happened. They
told me about Lucas.”

The dam broke and sobs wracked my aching body. I just couldn’t be comforted.
My mother knew what I’d done – what I’d become. Embarrassment, shame, guilt,
and remorse mixed with the tears.

“Honey, don’t cry,” she said, alarmed. She perched on the side of the bed. “Irelyn,
sweetie, you’re only human.” She kissed my cheek. “You’re entitled to make
mistakes – and learn from them. Whatever happened is in the past now. You need
to make amends and look to the future.” My cloudy mind couldn’t quite register her
words but the tears did stop and a smile emerged. “You sound so wise.”

“Wel , I am a mother,” she grinned. She cautiously patted my leg. “Rest, honey.
Tomorrow wil be a better day.”

“Mom,” I said in a crackly voice. “Wil you…please tel Dustin and Lucas…I’m okay?
I, um, don’t want to see them tonight.”

“Of course,” she said and rose. “I’l go talk to your friends then I’l be back.” I closed
my eyes and let exhaustion cover me like a wel -loved blanket.

***

I woke, disoriented, and reached for Lucas. Pain jetted through every nerve and I
remembered everything –realizing that I was in a hospital not in Lucas’s bed. I
cried out, wanting my mother.

A soft light next to the bed offered me an iota of comfort and I found a box of
tissue on the tiny table. My muscles screamed as I reached for one to wipe my
drippy nose.

My head ached and my body hurt. But my heart was in the most pain. It was time,
final y, to sort things out. My files were overflowing – my mind on overload. My
procrastination had caught up to me and poked me in the chest.

I needed to fix things and pray it wasn’t too late.

The pain wailed and I rang for the nurse.

Chapter 21

I woke early the next morning to a pounding head and an ache in every
imaginable place. I lifted my arm a fraction of an inch and cringed, biting my lip to
keep from releasing a string of curses that would make Lucas and Col in proud.
The pain in my arm was intense – like slamming it over and over in a car door. I
wasn’t eager to test my other appendages to see if the same was true of them.

“This sucks,” I whispered as I closed my eyes. “Total y sucks.”

The back of my head throbbed and itched, making me groan. What was I going to
do about class on Monday? Would I be able to walk? What if the doctor told me I
needed to use a wheelchair for a while? Would my friends be wil ing to help me
move around?

Then, like a movie trailer on the big screen, the previous evening’s events rol ed
through my head. I remembered talking to Lucas and the argument on the landing.
I remembered fal ing down the stairs, ending up in the cold snow. I remembered
tel ing my mother I didn’t want to speak to Lucas or Dustin.

Was either of them stil here?

I fervently hoped not. I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t want them slinking in here
feebly and trying to apologize for something that was my fault. And I stil needed to
take the first step in the plan I’d concocted last night to get my life back in order.

I very slowly eased my aching body up, eager to get a sip of the water in the cup
next to the bed. My throat was dry and my mouth parched. But as I reached for the
cup, my arm screamed and I dropped it to the bed.

“Damn!” I shouted, tears springing to my eyes.

“Irelyn?” my mother asked as she entered the room. “Honey, what’s the matter?”

“Everything hurts,” I sniffed as if I were six again and just fal en off my bike. “And I
can’t reach the water.”

“Oh, sweetie,” she cooed as she swept my hair off my forehead. She picked up
the cup and held the straw to my lips. “Sip slowly.” I did and was rewarded with
wonderful y cool water. I finished and she set the water aside. She pul ed a chair
up to the bed and fiddled with the ends of her shirt. “Irelyn, we need to talk.”

“I know we do,” I said. “When do I get out of here?”

“Soon,” she said. “And when we get you settled, we need to discuss things.
Understand?”

“Perfectly,” I said as I tried to smile. “And you’re right – we do have things to
discuss.”

***

Mom propped me on the sofa because I just couldn’t manage the stairs. Tommy,
who had spent the night with Jim and Brenda, Mom’s bosses, hovered behind her
nervously, his eyes wide with worry.

Once I assured her I was comfortable, she offered me a pain pil but I shook my
head slightly. I wanted a clear mind as I explained everything to her.

“Mom, let me tel the story then you can ask me anything or add your two cents –
whatever.” She nodded. “It al started a couple months ago when I went to Rusty’s
with Bailey and Morgan.”

I told her how I met Lucas and, without looking in her eyes, I told her how I’d went
home with him that night. I explained how the affair continued despite my guilt and
how my feelings for Dustin changed.

“You fel in love with Lucas?” Mom asked, forgetting that she was supposed to wait
and let me finish.

“Yes,” I said with a smal smile as I recal ed how gentle he’d been with me the last
couple times we were together. “I love him very much.”

“Then, why, Irelyn?” she asked, clearly confused. “Why aren’t you with him?”

Anger boiled in my chest, setting off sparks of pain in my ribs. I groaned and
slowly moved a hand to cover them. “Grandfather.” She nodded, her eyes blazing.
“I thought as much. Let me guess, he found out about you and Lucas and he
arranged the entire party to sort of clue Dustin in?”

“Something like that,” I said. “I was going to break up with Dustin before Christmas
but he went out of town. When he came back, I thought I’d just do it that Saturday
night, but – wel , you know what happened.” She paled and nodded.

“You went to your grandparents’ house that night – I know.” She took a deep
breath. “And he tried to buy you

off?”

“Not necessarily,” I said. I closed my eyes as a wave of pain washed over me. It
took my breath momentarily away and my mother peered anxiously at me.

“I’m fine.”

“Do you want your pain meds yet?”

“Give me a few more minutes,” I said. I released a slow breath and continued. “He
admitted to setting up the whole thing. He told me he knew that I’d been seeing
Lucas. He accused me of some nasty things that weren’t altogether untrue. But,
he also threatened to stop paying for my school if I didn’t end things with Lucas.”

Gasping, she pressed her hands to her mouth. “He didn’t!”

“He did,” I sighed. “And when I told him I’d do it – or go to school somewhere else,
he threatened…” I had to swal ow – it stil hurt to think of it. “He threatened to stop
paying for Tommy’s school.”

“That bastard!” she yel ed as she shot to her feet. “That bastard! He has no right to
do this to you kids. He’s punishing you for my sins. And my sister’s sins. I won’t
stand for this.”

“Mom,” I moaned hoarsely. “Please, no more trouble.”

“This is not right, Irelyn,” she said as she paced the living room. “This is not right at
al .”

“Let me handle this,” I begged.

“No!” she said. “You are my daughter and I am supposed to be taking care of you.”

“But I made the mess,” I said. “I need to fix it.”

“How are you going to fix it?” she asked as she paused in the middle of the room.
Her hands fel to her sides as her brow furrowed.

I loved her more than anything. I wished my grandfather wouldn’t have ruined her
relationship with Lonnie. I wished she’d find true happiness somewhere.

She deserved it.

“I’ve been searching for scholarships and stuff,” I said. “I have some information
printed out but it’s at school.”

“You can apply for financial aid,” she suggested.

I blinked at her, trying to wrap my mind around her statement. “Not for me, Mom.
For Tommy. If Grandfather stops paying for Tommy to go to Torrison’s, we’l have to
figure out another way to pay for it.”

“Oh,” Mom said as her face fel into a frown. “Yeah, you’re right. Wel , we wil find a
way. His tuition is paid up until the end of the year so we have time.”

“And Mom, I don’t mind going to school elsewhere,” I assured her, though inside,
my heart was breaking. “I just want Tommy to be happy and have a bright future.”

“He wil ,” Mom muttered, but I could see the worry in her eyes. “Here, honey,” she
said as she handed me a couple pil s and a glass of water. “Take these and rest.”

I did and slipped into a blissful, dreamless sleep.

***

The next few days crawled by painful y. I wasn’t able to attend classes as I was
hardly able to move from the sofa.

Morgan and Bailey stopped by with my books and notes from my professors. They
visited for awhile but Mom made me take my pain pil s and they left after I drifted
off - before I had a chance to real y ask about Lucas.

Dustin managed to persuade my mother to let him see me and I was actual y glad.
He plopped on the floor next to the couch and grimaced at the yel owish-purplish
bruises al over my face and arms.

“How are you?” he asked sheepishly.

“Stil sore but every day it gets a little better,” I told him.

Nodding, he gazed off over my head. Pity struck me and I wished that I’d been
able to love him like he did me. I almost wished I’d never met Lucas but whenever
I thought about that, my lungs shut down and I couldn’t breath.

“Dustin, I owe you an explanation,” I whispered.

He shook his head slowly. “No, not real y.” He bit his lip and raised his eyes to my
face. I was shocked at the anger and betrayal floating in them. “Your grandfather

explained everything to me already. He cal ed me after your accident and told me
that you’d been having an affair with that Lucas guy for months.”

“Oh, Dustin,” I groaned. “Oh, no.”

“Don’t deny it,” he said. “It al makes sense now.”

“I’m not denying it,” I said in a low voice. “It’s true. And I’m sorry I did that to you.
I’m sorry I hurt you. I’m sorry for everything.”

“Yeah,” he sighed as he gently took my hand. “I’m sure you are.” Rising slowly, he
gnawed on his lip as he careful y set my hand on my chest. “But how could you?
How could you do that to us? To me? I thought you loved me?”

“I did,” whispered.

“Why? Why did you sleep with him?” he asked.

“I don’t know,” I admitted. “And I was going to break it off with him but I just
couldn’t. Then I thought I needed to break it off with you but you went out of town
then when you came back, wel , there was the party and stuff.”

He turned away from me and I was glad. I couldn’t stand the hurt in his eyes. “So,
you … so you wanted to be with him and not me?” I swal owed as the pain in my
chest flared. But I pushed it aside – it was time to get this over and done with –
time for honesty. “Yes.”

“I loved you, Irelyn – stil do. I thought that we had a great relationship but the
whole time you were screwing around behind my back.” I wanted to correct him
and tel him that I hadn’t always been so evil – that there was a time when I did
love him. But I would let him have his say. “Dustin, I’m sorry – I real y am. I never
meant to hurt you. You are a wonderful person and you don’t deserve this.” He
spun around to face me – his eyes blazing with anger. “If I’m so wonderful then
why? Don’t you love me anymore?” I tried to scoot up further on the sofa but my
arms trembled from the efforts. The pain had abated some since the accident but
simple movements were stil torture. “I did love you, Dustin. I stil love you – just not
like you love me.”

“Do you love Lucas?” he asked, his voice low and hard.

I nodded, setting off another headache.

He stood in the middle of the living room – hands limply at his sides – and stared
at me. His gaze weighed heavily on me as he licked his lips and drew deep
breaths. I wanted to drop my eyes and cover my face but I could hide my shame
no longer. It was sprawled al over the floor for everyone to see.

“I don’t real y know what to say here,” he said as he came back to life. “I guess it is
over between us and do you know what? I’m glad.” His voice was steady,
frightening me a little but as he continued with his speech, the fright transformed
to anger. “I’d rather not be associated with you anymore. My friends at the club
told me that you would never fit in with us – considering your background. And you
just proved them right. You’ve become nothing more than a common whore.”

The escalating pain caused me to bite my lip as I maneuvered my body to a sitting
position. “And you’re a dick, Dustin,” I said between clenched teeth.

“Nothing but a … dick!” I was sorely disappointed in my ability to come up with a
better insult but the pain and anger total y messed with my thought process.
“Lucas was right – if you would have taken time to get to know me then maybe
things would have worked out better. You used to be that way but you changed,
too.” I eased my legs off the couch and grimaced at the pain flaring through my
bones as I pushed to my feet. “And if you wouldn’t have been so – boring and…
and stuffy, maybe I would never have been with Lucas. He listens to me and
supports me. He doesn’t just want me to be the perfect little wife that he can train
to act al proper so I can escort him to dinner parties. He’s a real man, Dustin and
you’re nothing but a fake. I am real y sorry that I hurt you and betrayed you but I
am not going to sit here and al ow you to insult me!”

“And you’re a selfish bitch,” he spit as he stepped up to me.

“Maybe so but at least I’m not a puppet.” I heaved a loud breath that rattled my
aching ribs. “Get out of my house, now.”

“And to think I was considering taking you back,” he said, his eyes mere slits.

“That’s what you get for thinking,” I said. “There’s no way in hel I’d ever get back
with you. I asked you to leave now get out.” He stormed away from me, slamming
the door behind him.

My shoulders slumped as my heart beat furiously in my chest. My mom rushed
into the room, her eyes wide and frightened.

“Irelyn, are you okay?” she asked as she hurried to my side. “I heard the whole
thing.” I eased my body to the sofa, probably resembling my ninety year-old great-
grandmother before she died. Mom watched helplessly - too afraid that if she
touched me she’d cause me more pain.

“Wel , it didn’t go as wel as I would have liked,” I groaned, as I lifted each leg to
the couch. I had to take a couple seconds to catch my breath. “Maybe what I did
was wrong but that doesn’t give him the right to insult me that way.”

“I agree,” she said as she sat on the floor, folding her legs underneath her. “I, um,
spoke to my father last night and he said that he was disappointed in you for
attending that party but you’re agreement is stil intact.”

“Wel ,” I frowned, my heart aching. “That’s good.”

“No, it’s not,” she said. “Irelyn, we don’t need him or his money. We can figure out
a way to send you to col ege and Tommy to Torrison’s. I don’t want him buying you
this way.”

“Aunt Mina?” Tommy’s little voice cal ed as he crept into the room. Mom raised a
brow at him and I could see the worry on her face. I felt the same – I hoped he
hadn’t heard the nasty conversation between Dustin and me.

“What’s the matter, Tommy?” she asked as she patted the floor next to her.

He sat and looked deep into her face. “I don’t want Grandfather to pay for my
school.” Mom ruffled his hair affectionately. “Tommy, he has to pay for it because I
can’t, honey.”

“I don’t have to go to school at Torrison’s, do I?”

“I thought you loved your school?” I asked.

He lifted a shoulder. “I do but I loved my old school, too. I just want to play the
piano. If you want, I can go to my old school and take lessons with Mrs.

Freeport again.”

I wanted to cry at his simple offer. And I loved him al the more for it –but I wouldn’t
al ow my selfishness to keep him from a great opportunity. “Thank you, Tommy,
but I don’t want you to have to do that.”

“Irelyn, it’s something we may have to consider,” Mom said sternly. “I am not going
to al ow my father to run your life.” Straightening hugged Tommy.

“We’re a family here and even if my parents look down their noses at us, we’re
much better than they are. We love each other and we stick together. From now
on, we’l do things ourselves.”

My wide smile caused my sore jaw to ache but I hardly felt the pain. My mother
was absolutely right. Tommy’s future would be whatever he wanted it to be

– not what my grandparents thought it should be. And my future would be bright –
I’d make sure of it.

***

“Are you sure you’re feeling up to this?” Morgan asked as she helped me ease my
arms into the sleeves of the simple black dress. I winced as I tried to yank the
sleeves up my shoulders. Morgan hurriedly took over the task.

“Okay,” Bailey said as she swept into the room with what I thought was a toolbox.
“I don’t think makeup is going to cover that huge bruise on the side of your face,
dear, but we’l do the best we can.”

“Irelyn, honey?” Mom said as she fol owed Bailey into my bedroom. “Please don’t
drink anything alcoholic – you’re stil on pain meds.” I rol ed my eyes as a tiny
smile curled the corners of my mouth. “I know, Mom.” Excitement ran up and down
my spine as I glanced at the clock. “I’l be fine, I promise.”

“We’l keep an eye on her,” Morgan assured my mother as she slipped my feet into
flats.

“She probably won’t be coming home tonight,” Bailey smirked as she careful y
rubbed foundation on my face. “We’re hoping, at least.” I saw Mom’s reflection in
the mirror and nearly laughed. She had her ears covered but a bit of amusement
stil shined in her eyes. “I don’t want to hear these things.”

“Aw, Ms. Colby,” Bailey chided. “She’s too sore to get up to anything naughty.”

“Enough,” Morgan tsked. “She’s a nervous wreck as it is.” She grabbed a brush
and a hair clip and went to work on my hair. She cautiously ran the brush through
the strands, mindful of the stitches that constantly irritated me in the back of my
head. “I’m going to pul your hair back and cover that area,” she explained.

“You guys better hurry,” Mom said. “What time do they go on?”

“They’re already on,” Bailey said as she brushed blush on my cheeks. “But that’s
okay- Irelyn probably won’t be able to sit through both sets.” She stepped back to
admire her work. “There. Let’s go.”

“Hang on,” Morgan said as she fiddled with my hair. “Okay. Perfect.”

Standing gingerly, I kept the grimace off my face as my aches and pains made
themselves known. “I’m ready.” Mom handed my overnight bag to Morgan and
kissed my cheek. “Good luck, honey.”

I sat in the back seat, nervously chewing on my lip as Bailey drove through the
streets. She parked as close as she could to the entrance and I was glad that she
hadn’t parked in the back. I didn’t think I could look at the spot where I’d fal en
without vomiting.

They helped me out of the car and each held an arm as we made our way inside.
The bar had a good-sized crowd and our usual table was already occupied.

People glanced at my bruised face and my slow pace curiously but I kept my chin
up and focused on the stage. My heart kicked up a notch as Lucas’s sexy voice
floated in the air and when my eyes landed on him, I nearly tumbled.

“Let’s sit you down,” Morgan said, clucking around me like a mother hen. I just
nodded as Bailey shooed two men out of their seats. They eased me down and I
folded my trembling hands on the table, my eyes lingering on Lucas. He was
wearing one of the t-shirts I’d given him at Christmas. It stretched across his chest
and emphasized his muscles spurring desire to shoot through me and
overpowered my pain. I sighed.

It was growing late and I knew they had to be nearing the end of their set. I
impatiently waited for them to finish as I wanted to whisk Lucas away so I could
explain everything to him and pray he’d forgive me.

When he final y spotted me, a stunned expression washed over his face. I smiled
shyly, and my heart cheered when he grinned, his eyes crinkling in the corners.
When they finished their song, he leaned over to whisper in Spencer’s ear.
Spencer glanced at me with wide eyes and nodded before hurrying to whisper to
Col in.

My smile grew when they started playing their next song. Lucas’s voice sounded
strong and just so sweet when he crooned the words to my favorite song into the
microphone. I couldn’t believe he remembered let alone learned to play it.

“I’ve never heard them do this song,” Morgan said. “What is it?”

“It’s an old song my mother always listens to,” I whispered, my eyes glued to
Lucas. “I told him about it a long time ago.”

“Geez,” Bailey said as she dabbed at my eyes with a bar napkin. “So much for the
makeup.” I was startled at the tears that were coursing down my cheeks. I brushed
at them as I concentrated on the stage. “Don’t worry about it.” They finished the
song, and the set, to rousing applause. My heart began to thunder in my chest as
Lucas handed his guitar to Spencer and jumped off the stage. He waded through
the crowd of dancers who were patting his back, trying to talk to him as his eyes
remained on me.

When he reached our table, Bailey got out of her chair so he could sit. He gingerly
touched my cheek as his eyes careful y inspected my face and the rest of my
body. “Hi.”

“Hi,” I whispered.

“You look beautiful,” he said. “How do you feel?”

I shrugged. “Better. Stil sore, but better.”

He smiled as he tucked my hair behind my ear. “I’m glad you’re here.”

“Me, too.”

Laughing, he ducked his head. “This is awkward, huh?”

“Yeah.” I shifted slowly in my chair and took his hand. “Lucas, can we talk?
Please?”

“Certainly,” he said, lifting his head. His eyes searched my face. “Do you want to
go to my place?” A slow smile spread across my face. “I was kind of hoping that I
could…um…spend the night with you.” His eyes lit up as he grinned. “Sure.” He
kissed my forehead. “Um, do you want to see the guys before we leave? They’ve
been worried about you.”

“We’re right here,” Col in said as he knelt next to Lucas. “How are you darling?”
He reached out to hug me and Morgan put a hand on his arm. “She stil has
stitches in her head so be careful.”

“It’s fine,” I assured Col in as I leaned painful y into him. He pecked my cheek.
“Thanks for doing that song,” I said as I pul ed back and al owed Spencer to kiss
my forehead.

“It was Lucas’s idea,” Spencer grinned. “He’s a closet romantic, you know.”

I beamed at Lucas and ruffled his hair. “I know.”

Lucas stood and helped me to my feet. “Hey, Col in, can you grab my guitar? Um,
Irelyn is coming back to our place.”

“I got it, bro,” Col in said, shooting me a wink.

Morgan handed Lucas my bag before she kissed my cheek. I hugged her and
Bailey then turned to Lucas. “Ready?” Taking my hand, he nodded. My heart
hammered frantical y as we left the bar. It was time to fix this – hopeful y for good.

Chapter 22

Lucas helped me into his truck careful y, mindful of my sore body, and buckled me
after he got in. He held my hand the whole way to his apartment, inquiring politely
about my health.

My entire body was starting to throb, making me think longingly about the pain
medication tucked in my bag – but it would have to wait. I wanted a clear head
when I spoke to him. I was already on the verge of a sobbing breakdown and I
needed al the strength I could muster to get through the explanation.

When we arrived at his apartment, he grabbed my bag and wrapped a cautious
arm around my waist as he steered me into the house. He eased me to the sofa,
hovering over me with a frown.

“Do you need anything? Pil ows or water or anything?”

I smiled at him, my heart fil ing with love. “No, thanks. Please just sit so we can
talk.” He dropped next to me, his lips pursed. He stared into my eyes and lifted a
hand to stroke my cheek. “You look so beautiful. I love the dress.” I smiled. “I wore
it for you.”

He brushed my lips over mine. “Talk to me, love.”

“I…” I sighed. I grappled with my words, wondering where to start. I shifted, and
winced, causing him to bend closer, waving his hands helplessly over my body,
wanting to help but not sure what he should do. I smiled weakly and slid so I could
rest on the back of the couch. “Wel , you already know that my grandfather found
out about us,” I said, closing my eyes. “But he, um, wel , he threatened to stop
paying my tuition if I didn’t stop seeing you.”

“He did what?” Lucas asked, astonished. “He actual y told you that?”

“Yes,” I confirmed. “And when I told him I didn’t care – that I’d pay my own way
even if I had to go to another school, he threatened to stop paying Tommy’s tuition
at Torrison’s.”

“Damn,” he muttered as he took my hand. “I’m sorry.”

I opened my eyes as my pulse quickened. “Lucas, I didn’t want to end things with
you – I swear. I just didn’t know what else to do.”

“I know,” he said. “I can’t real y blame you.” He sighed as he pinched the bridge of
his nose. “I’m sorry. Is there anything I can do?” Laughing, I clutched my ribs. “No,
but don’t worry – we’l figure it out. Mom, Tommy, and I talked and we’re working
on it. We’re done with my grandparents and al their efforts to run our lives. And
Tommy said he didn’t care what school he went to as long as he could continue
playing the piano.”

“Wait,” Lucas said, his brow furrowing. “You’re, um, not going along with this?”

“No,” I said. “Lucas, why do you think I’m here?”

He smiled and traced my jaw line with his index finger. “I wasn’t sure, real y. I
thought maybe – oh hel , love. I didn’t know. I was hoping that maybe you’d
changed your mind and you wanted, you know, for us to be together.”

“I do want us to be together,” I said. “I mean, if you’l have me.”

His smile grew, crinkling the corners of his eyes. “Of course I’l have you.” He
kissed me again, very softly. “Are you sure you want me?” I giggled and grabbed
the front of his t-shirt, pul ing him to me. “Yes, very sure.” His kiss was better than I
remembered and it made my heart splatter against my ribs. I didn’t want it to end.
But he edged back to stroke my unmarred cheek. “I’m so sorry you got hurt. It was
stupid of me to fight with him, especial y with you so close.”

“It’s not your fault,” I told him. “Not at al . It was an accident. Please don’t blame
yourself.”

“You look like you’re hurting,” he said abruptly as his eyes searched my face.
“How about if I draw you a hot bath and order a pizza?”

“You don’t have to do al this,” I protested, even though it sounded like heaven.

He kissed me again. “I want to.” An impish glitter flashed in his eyes. “Or I can give
you a sponge bath.”

“Maybe when I’m not so sore,” I grinned.

“I’l start the water,” he said as he stood. He pondered for a few minutes, a deep
groove in his forehead. “Um, I’l cal Col in and ask him to bring a pizza home. You
don’t mind, do you, if he’s here?”

“Of course not,” I said. “He does live here. Matter of fact, maybe Col in, Spencer,
and the girls can come over – I haven’t told them anything and I think I owe them
an explanation.”

“Sure, love – whatever you want.” He winked, setting my heart fluttering. He
disappeared and a moment later, I heard the water running in the bathroom. I
closed my eyes and smiled.

I heard everyone come through the door while Lucas was helping me to dress. He
careful y tugged one of his t-shirts over my head and helped me into a pair of my
pajama pants. He watched as I swal owed my pain medication then took my hand
and escorted me to the kitchen.

Spencer jumped up to offer me his chair which I gladly accepted. The bath had
been wonderful and eased some of my stiffness and soreness but I stil couldn’t
stand for long periods of time. Lucas pul ed a chair next to me and twined his
fingers with mine.

“Wel , looks like things went wel here,” Col in remarked as he set a plate in front of
me.

“Yes, they did,” Lucas said as he kissed my cheek. He took the slice off the plate
and bit off a chunk before offering it to me.

“Oh, no,” Spencer groaned. “Tel me you aren’t going to be al lovey-dovey now.” I
blushed as Lucas gently squeezed my hand. “Yep, probably.”

“So, things are settled?” Bailey asked as she eyed me. “You told him everything?”

“Yes,” I said as I sipped from a glass of water. “And I guess I should probably tel
you guys, too.”

“You don’t have to,” Morgan said but I shook my head.

I told them what happened once I left my birthday party, fil ing them in on every
detail I could remember about my conversation with my grandfather. I expected
their reactions – especial y Bailey’s angry curses – but it stil warmed my heart how
they exclaimed and defended me.

“So, what happened with Dustin?” Col in asked.

I took a deep breath. “He stopped by my house this week. We sort of had it out – it
wasn’t pretty – and he knows for sure that it’s over between us. Of course, he
assured me that he wanted nothing more to do with me.”

“His loss,” Lucas said as he crammed half a slice of pizza in his mouth. He
chewed and chased it down with a swal ow of water from my glass. “My gain.” My
heart flipped as I smiled.

“What are you going to do about school? And about Tommy’s school?” Spencer

asked.

I shrugged, fighting a yawn as the pain meds kicked in and made my lids heavy. I
told them about the family discussion and the decisions we’d made.

“So, I’l probably just go to school somewhere else. I’m going to have to work on
that soon.”

“Are you going back to classes on Monday?” Morgan asked.

“Yeah.”

“Are you wel enough?” Lucas asked as he touched my cheek. “Maybe you should
wait.”

“Nah, I’m fine.” I yawned as Lucas kissed my cheek.

“I think you need some sleep.”

I agreed and bid everyone a good night. Lucas helped me up and held my hand
as we headed toward his bedroom.

“It’s good to have you back, Irelyn,” Bailey said with a grin.

I settled in the bed next to Lucas. After nearly a week on the sofa, his bed was
wonderful. I had to lie on my back as he positioned himself on his side so he could
look at me in the weak light streaming between the slats in the blinds.

Suddenly, a sob erupted and tears fel from my eyes. Lucas panicked as he kissed
my face, desperately trying to stop the tears. “Hey, it’s okay, love, I promise,” he
whispered.

My sobs turned to whimpers as I reached for him and he hugged me. “Sorry. I
just…I just feel horrible about how bad things got. I never wanted to end things
with you. I wanted to be with you and not Dustin and everything got out of hand.
Then I wondered if you even wanted me to be ...you know…you’re girlfriend. And
then the accident and …oh, Lucas. I’m just sorry.”

He kissed both my cheeks and my nose and my head. “Irelyn, I love you. I want to
be with you. Nothing that’s happened matters anymore except that we’re together.
Tomorrow when we wake, we’l start al over and do things right.”

My heart stopped. “You…love me?”

Chuckling, he brushed his lips over mine. “I do.”

I sniffed, hiccupping, as I pul ed his head down so I could kiss him. “I love you,
Lucas. I real y do. I realized that awhile ago.” Grinning, he kissed me, al owing his
lips to linger on mine. I wished fervently that my body wasn’t aching and I was
whole again so I could beg him to seal our love. But I couldn’t. And the pain meds
were dragging me down farther into the black hole of blissful sleep. I struggled to
hold on to consciousness for just a few more minutes.

“Hang on a second,” he said as he quickly pul ed away from me. I wanted to yel at
him to come back but he was already off the bed. “Shield your eyes a second – I
need to turn on the light.”

I covered my eyes as he did indeed turn on the light. He crawled back to me and
eased me gently upright while he propped the pil ows behind me. “What are you
doing?” I asked as he moved away again.

“I want to give you your birthday present.”

I dropped my hand and squinted, locating him near his dresser. He opened a
drawer and withdrew a square, wrapped box. Returning to my side, he stuck the
box in my hands. “Lucas,” I protested. “Luke, this is not necessary.”

“Please,” he snorted. “Um, I’m not trying to make you feel guilty but I … wel , hel .”
He sighed as he ran a hand through his hair. “I bought this for you and I had
planned to give it to you on your birthday. And, um, I was going to tel you that I
loved you then.” My heart broke. Oh, the pain I must have put him through.
“Lucas, I’m so sorry.” He pressed a finger against my lips. “No, don’t be. Things
happened and it’s in the past. We’re starting over, remember?” I nodded, his finger
stil on my lips. “Now, open it.”

He dropped his hand as I tore the paper off the box. Lifting the lid, I gasped.
Nestled in a bed of velvet was a beautiful gold necklace with a gold, heart-shaped
charm. Tiny diamond chips sparkled in the light and I held it closer to read the
words engraved on the front. In fancy font it simply said ‘I love you.’

“It’s beautiful. I love it, Lucas.”

I touched the charm gingerly, admiring how simple yet beautiful it was. “Wil you
put it on me?” I asked. He removed it from the box, moved my hair, and fastened it
around my neck. He kissed my jaw when he finished and I shuddered, sparks of
desire shooting through the fog from the pain meds.

“It looks great on you, Irelyn,” he grinned. He fixed my hair and eased me forward
again so he could put the pil ows flat and help me to lie down. “Now you real y
need to sleep. I’l take care of you al weekend and get you fixed up.”

“You don’t need to do that,” I said around a yawn.

“Yes, I do,” he said as he shut off the light and joined me in the bed. “I want to.” I
longed to snuggle up to him but it was just so hard to be comfortable that way with
the aches. I had to settle for scooting as close as I could and placing his arm over
my stomach. He kissed my cheek as sang that old song I loved so much quietly,
making me smile, until I drifted off to sleep.

***

Lucas kept to his word as he insisted on waited on me hand and foot al day
Saturday, despite my protests. Col in happily ignored my pleas and joined Lucas in
the pampering. Even though I was sort of embarrassed, I secretly enjoyed the
attention Lucas bestowed on me. As much as my body hurt, my heart was healing.
And it was ful of love.

When he drove me home Sunday, I was ecstatic. It was outstandingly wonderful
that I didn’t have to hide him – that I could proudly take him in my home and
official y introduce him to my mother as my boyfriend.

But, of course, something had to ruin my shining moment. As Lucas parked in
front of my house, I noticed a fancy car in my driveway.

“Damn it,” I cursed.

“What?” Lucas asked anxiously.

“That’s my grandfather’s car,” I said as I deflated. I took Lucas’s hand and al owed
him to help me out of the truck. He grabbed my bag, kept hold of my hand, and led
me up the walk. “Please, don’t leave.”

“Not on your life,” he growled, his eyes narrowed. His hold tightened as I opened
the door. Tommy rushed to me and wrapped his arms painful y around my legs.

“I’m glad you’re home,” he said, his eyes ful of fright. My grandfather’s shouts
echoed off the wal s.

Lucas dropped my bag to hoist Tommy in his free arm as if Tommy were a toddler.
“Don’t worry, buddy, it’s fine.” Tommy wrapped his arms grateful y around Lucas’s
neck and offered a weak smile. “I remember you. You let me play on stage.”

“That’s right,” Lucas said.

“Let’s get this over with,” I sighed as I squeezed Lucas’s hand and dragged him
toward the kitchen.

“…al ow your daughter to prostitute herself, Wil amina! What are you thinking?”

“She’s an adult and can live her life the way she wants,” Mom shouted back. I
dropped Lucas’s hand and rushed, as much as my sore body would al ow, to her
side.

“Leave my mother alone,” I said, grinding my teeth. “She didn’t do anything.”

“She let you turn into a whore – just like her,” Grandfather said, his eyes burning.

I cringed a little, knowing Tommy and Lucas both heard my grandfather’s words,
but anger burned in my already sore body. I knew Lucas was ready to fight – I
could actual y feel his tension – and I stretched a sore arm back to stop him.

“You know, I’m real y tired of hearing that word.” I dragged a huge helping of
oxygen in my lungs, releasing it slowly. “Maybe I’m not perfect and maybe my
mother isn’t perfect but we are humans and we feel. You and your country club
friends don’t feel. Al you do is sit on your pedestals and judge people who have
less money than you. I doubt you even love your wife. You only married her
because you thought it would be a good match. At least my mother and I have the
capacity to love. I don’t care if Lucas doesn’t have the money or the clout or the
damn law degree that Dustin wil have – he loves me. He loves me for me. And I
love him for him. That is something your money wil never, ever buy. And I thank
God for that.” My mom smiled at me, tears shimmering in her eyes, as she moved
next to me to wrap an arm around my shoulders. “And I’m damn proud of my
daughter.”

My eyes grew as my jaw fel at her words before a laugh escaped. Mom never
spoke that way – especial y in front of her father. I kissed her cheek.

“And,” she continued. “I’d rather her have a sordid affair with Lucas than marry
Dustin because at least it’s honest and at least she is doing what she wants and
not what you want her to do. I made the mistake of bowing to your wishes and I
lost the love of my life. I’l not let that happen to my daughter.

Your money means nothing to us. If you’re ashamed of us then leave and don’t
come back. We don’t need you – we have each other.”

“I am through with you al then,” Grandfather said as he grabbed his coat off the
back of a chair. “You’l not get another dime from me.”

“We don’t need it,” Mom said as she lifted her chin. “We’re fine without you.”

“You’l change your mind. You’l be sorry.”

“No, we won’t,” Mom said a little sad. “The only thing I’l be sorry for is that you’l
miss al the wonderful things my children do. You’l miss Irelyn’s wedding.

You’l miss Tommy’s graduation. You’re the one who wil be missing out – not us.
And al the money in the world can’t replace what we have in this little house.”

Grandfather paused, staring at my mother for a moment before brushing past
Lucas and storming out the door. Once I heard it slam shut, I took my mother in
my arms and held her as tight as I was able.

“I love you, Mom, and I’m sorry for al this,” I told her.

“Oh, Irelyn, it’s not you,” she said. “He’s always been that way.”

When Lucas set Tommy on his feet, he ran to me and Mom to join in the hug.
Mom kissed the top of his head and pul ed back to smile tearful y at Lucas.

“I’m so sorry, Lucas. Sorry you had to see al that.”

He wrapped an arm around her shoulders. “I’m glad you told him off, Ms. Colby.”

Laughing, she kissed his cheek. “Cal me Mina, please, and trust me – it was a
long time coming.”

“Are you okay, Mom?” I asked.

“Yeah,” she said as a thoughtful frown crossed her face. “I am. I feel good. I only
wished I would have said this to him a long time ago.”

“It’s never too late,” Lucas said as he bestowed one of his crinkly-eyed smiles on
her. I loved him even more.

Swiping at her face, she blushed. “Why don’t I fix us something to eat and then
we’l get to work on Irelyn’s col ege and funding for Tommy?”

“I’l go grab a pizza,” Lucas offered, kissing my cheek. “Then I’l help.”

When he walked out the door, my mom hugged me again. “He’s your Lonnie. Hold
on to him, honey. Don’t let him go.”

“I won’t,” I promised.

Later that night, after both my mother and Tommy had retired for bed, I walked
Lucas to the door. Holding me, he kissed me like he was afraid if he let me go, I’d
vanish into thin air.

“Hey, Irelyn,” he said.

“Yes?” I asked as I kissed him.

“What do you think about … wel , maybe this summer…you might want to…I don’t
know…find a place? Together?” I froze, trying to grapple with his words. “You
mean – move in together?”

“Yeah,” he said as he sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck. “If you want.”

“Are you sure?” I whispered.

“Positive.” His eyes were hopeful and his lips a straight line.

“Yes,” I said. “Most definitely. That would be…great.”

His face relaxed as he kissed me. “Good because I can’t stand it when you’re not
in bed with me.” He winked. “I like it when you cook me breakfast.”

“Yeah?” I said, playing along. “And I like it when we shower.”

He groaned and kissed me again. “Don’t talk about the shower until you’re wel
enough to join me.”

“Deal,” I said as I wrapped my arms around his waist.

“Do you realize that your story just came true?” he muttered in my hair. He tipped
my chin and kissed me soundly. “The bad guy got the girl.” I smiled but I didn’t
correct him – he wasn’t the bad guy after al . But who cared? I had him now –
even though I might have ‘acquired’ him the ‘wrong’ way.

He was mine and that was al that mattered.

Chapter 23

I wiped the sweat off my brow as I leaned against the cooler doors, catching my
breath. The lunch rush was nearly over and I was grateful for that. Fridays were

always our busiest days.

“Irelyn, someone is at one of your tables,” Jessica, a fel ow waitress, cal ed. I blew
at my hair, tugged my ponytail a little tighter, and grabbed my order pad.

I’d been working at Moe’s Dinner since March and usual y enjoyed it. The people
were nice, the pay good, and the tips outstanding. Moe, the ancient owner, was
flexible and happy to work around my school schedule – especial y after I worked
my tail off to prove that I was worthy to be his employee.

Since school had ended, I worked early shifts Tuesday through Saturday, which
suited me fine. Lucas was usual y off weekends so we spent Sundays wrapped in
each others’ arms.

Four grimy construction guys were glancing at menus as I approached. They
appraised me ful y – something I’d grown used to- before ordering. I handed my
order back to the cook, my leg constantly jiggling in anticipation.

“What’s with you today?” Jessica asked. “You can’t sit stil .”

“I don’t know,” I admitted. “Lucas is playing tonight and I’m just anxious to see him
I guess.”

“I thought he played every Friday?” she asked.

“He does and they just signed an agreement with Rusty to play al summer,” I said
with a fond smile. I fil ed a couple glasses with ice tea. “This is our first weekend in
the new apartment,” I whispered. “We’ve been going over there every night after
work to clean and get stuff ready but tonight is the first night we’re actual y staying
there together.”

“That explains the twitchiness,” Jessica smirked.

Rol ing my eyes, I delivered the iced tea to the construction workers. I smiled
politely and asked them if they needed anything else while I absently played with
the necklace Lucas had given me months ago.

“No, thanks, honey,” the older one said. The worst part of the job was the constant
nicknames: honey, sweetheart, darling, and cupcake. Ugh. But I usual y just
smiled, enduring it the best I could, and most times get a big tip.

As I walked away, an arm shot out and snagged my waist. I jumped, startled, and
turned to peer into the beautiful brown eyes of Lucas. “Hey,” he whispered as he
dropped a quick kiss on my cheek.

“Hi,” I blushed. “Are you eating lunch?” I frowned as I glanced at my watch. “I

thought you took lunch earlier.”

“Was busy,” he said as he dragged me to a table. “This your station today?” I
nodded. “You remember Jerry and Gene, right?” he asked, pointing to the two
men behind him.

“Yes. Hi, guys.”

They greeted me as they fel into chairs. I grabbed three menus from behind the
counter and brought them back. As Lucas studied the menu, I couldn’t help but
study him. It never stopped amazing me how beautiful he was – especial y in his
work clothes. I loved the backwards hat, too. Maybe I was a freak but I didn’t care.

And the sex – wel , that hadn’t waned in the least like I feared it might. It only got
better. And tonight we’d have the apartment total y to ourselves…

He lifted a brow. “Did you hear me love?”

Blushing, I hid a smile but he caught on immediately and winked. “Sorry, um, what
are you guys having?” They repeated their orders and I turned them in to the cook.
Jessica clucked her tongue at me. “You always get al starry-eyed and red in the
face when he comes in. Wish I was that way with my boyfriend.”

I just shrugged, secretive smile on my face as I watched him converse with his co-
workers.

That evening, he beat me to the apartment and I could hear him in the shower,
singing quite loud. I crept into the bathroom, stripped, and jumped in behind him.

“You are quite the little stalker, aren’t you?” he laughed as he turned around to
take me in his arms. The shower in our new apartment was a little smal er but I
would make due.

“I’ve always told you that you bring out the animal in me,” I said as I wrapped my
arms around his neck, melding my body to his. A low growl erupted from his throat
as he kissed me and pul ed me under the water. I lifted a leg to wind around his
thigh, sending him a message of what I real y wanted. He was only too happy to
oblige as he lifted me, gently pressing me to the shower wal . I groaned as he
stepped back to push through the shower curtain and fumble around in the
medicine cabinet behind the little mirror above the sink.

“Damn,” he said as knocked everything into the sink. He set me down to dig out a
condom then returned to me. “Do you think it wil frighten our guests if we just keep
a stack of condoms in here?”

I laughed as I climbed back into his arms. “We’l keep the shower curtain shut –

they’l never even see them.”

“I real y like how you think,” he said, his lips on mine. He lifted me again and
eased me against the wal , final y satisfying the need that had burned in my
stomach al day.

Once I was temporarily satiated, we washed and dressed. I dried my hair, happy
that new hair had final y grown enough to cover the bald spot that had marked my
stitches and constantly reminded us both of my accident.

Morgan and Bailey were waiting for me at our usual table. I hugged them both and
they questioned me about the new apartment. I was mildly surprised when Tori
joined us - I didn't usual y see her at Rusty's. She’d been a huge help when we
were moving – often assisting me in getting Lucas packed while he and Col in
were at the new place painting. She was sweet and witty and I absolutely adored
her.

The boys began playing and halfway through the set, I was stunned to see Amber
waltz in with her friend Hol y. Bailey nudged me, laughing, pounding her hand on
the table. I just smiled. Amber no longer concerned me because I had no doubts
that Lucas loved me. And I didn’t have to worry about hiding my relationship with
him – or worrying that she would say something to someone.

Bailey and Morgan – for weeks – had thought Amber that was the snitch and
somehow told my grandfather about my affair with Lucas, but I real y didn’t think
she was. I stil hadn’t discovered who had told him, but I had suspicions. My
grandfather was on the Board for Dunne-Browling and several of the board
members had children or grandchildren attending the school. I was pretty certain
one of them must have seen me leave with Lucas or maybe they were there the
first night. I couldn’t be sure but I’d stopped caring. I wouldn’t be attending Dunne-
Browling in the fal – I’d be attending Community Col ege

– and I had Lucas so what did it matter who ousted us? I was happy; Lucas was
happy; Mom and Tommy were happy – that’s al that mattered.

Amber avoided our table and when the boys finished, she avoided Lucas. When
he dropped next to me, draping an arm around my shoulders, I caught her quick
glance in our direction. She didn’t glare hateful y or stare longingly – just watched
us for a second and returned her attention to Hol y. Perhaps she was confirming
our relationship and if she was – good.

We sat around the table for an hour after they finished until final y Lucas
whispered to me that he wanted to take me home. I shuddered as a shiver of
anticipation shot up my spine and the muscles in my stomach clenched.

After we crashed into the bedroom and released al the sexual tension that had

somehow managed to build since the shower – he held me close, peppering me
with kisses.

“You should write a story about this, Irelyn,” he wheezed as his breathing slowly
returned to normal. “It’s better than a fairytale. Just you and me and mind-blowing
sex.”

Snorting, I rol ed on top of him so I could kiss him properly. “No bad guys or
dragons or anything like that? Just pure smut?” He grinned, his eyes crinkling in
the corners. “Yep. My favorite kind of story about you – pure smut!” I rol ed off of
him and cuddled into his side. “I’m not writing that – you have porn you can
watch.”

“But you’re not in it,” he whined.

Sitting up, I glared at him. “You want me to be in one of those movies?” I asked,
incredulous.

He backtracked quickly, pecking my lips after each word. “No, not at al . I meant I
wanted to read a story about you and me….” Even in the dark I could see the
color flooding his cheeks. “Oh, never mind,” he said as he fel back to the bed.

I giggled as I draped my body over his. “You want us to make a movie, don’t you?”
He raised a hopeful brow. “You’d do that?”

I kissed him deeply. His arms wrapped around me and a little moan rose from his
throat. I pul ed slightly away. “Not on your life. Sorry, buddy, you’l just have to
relive it al from memory.”

A smirk curled the corners of his mouth. “I’ve already forgotten. You’l have to
refresh my memory.” He rol ed us so I was pressed into the mattress. He kissed
my mouth first before dragging his lips down my chin and to my throat, making me
shiver. “I love you,” he whispered against my skin.

“I know,” I said as I clenched the sheet in my fist. “I love you, too.”

As I final y drifted off to sleep, secured tightly in his arms, I thought of my mom
and her lost love. It mad my heart ache. I vowed to never lose Lucas again –

no matter what it would take.

I nestled my head under his chin, listening to his slow, even breathing. It was
something I’d never have to worry about because if he were to go anywhere, he’d
take me. And I’d fol ow. Always. No matter the reason.

###

Look for Vicious Circles, the sequel to All the Wrong Reasons, as wel as other
titles coming soon!