AMERICANBOYFRIEND

LOVEINNEWYORK

CHANCECARTER

Contents

NewYork

PersonalInvitation
AlsobyChanceCarter

I

N E W Y O R K

noticed you the second you walked into the office. I don’t take the

time to notice every new employee of the firm, but you stood out. I’ve
always had a thing for girls like you. You’re cute, you’re funny, you’re
animated.

When you talk about things that excite you, you light up the entire

room.Thatfirstday,threeweeksago,youwereallworkedupaboutdelays
onthesubway.

“Icouldhavewalkedherefaster,”yousaid,apologizingtomysecretary

for being late. “It was like being trapped in an elevator. It took twenty
minutesforthemtoletusofftheplatform.Icouldhavescreamed!”

I was sitting at my desk and the door was slightly open. I got up and

walkedovertothetwoofyou.

“You’rethenewclientrelationsmanager?”Isaid.
You looked up at me. Both you and the secretary stopped laughing. I

havethateffectonpeopleattheoffice.Icultivateit.Themorepeoplefear
me, the more money I seem to make. That’s the way it is for lawyers on
WallStreet.It’sdogeatdog,andthemeanestdoggetsthebone.

“Yes,sir,”youstammered.
MyeyeslitupwhenIsawyou.Ihadn’tbeenexpectingyoutolookso

sexy.YouhadtheprettiestfaceI’veeverseen,thebrightesteyes,andyour

curveswerejustthekindthatmakemydicktwitch.

WhichiswhyIhadtocutourlittlemeetingshort.Icouldn’thaveyou

noticetheerectionyou’dinstantlygivenme.

“Well,keepitdownouthere,”Isaid,soundingassternasIcould.
Ishutthedoorfirmly.
“He’sscary,”youwhisperedtothesecretary,unawareIcouldstillhear.
“Youshouldseehimincourt,”mysecretarysaid.
Istoodthereforaminute,mybacktothedoor,thinkingaboutyou.I’ve

neverletmyfeelingsforanemployeegettomebefore.Ikeepbusinessand
pleasure separate. I’ve never slept with a single woman in the entire firm,
andIhadnointentionofchangingthatpractice.

Butyouweregoingtobeatest.
Youweregoingtobeatease.
Iopenedthepantsofmysuitandpulledoutmyerectcock.Rightthen

andthere,Istartedpumpingmyshaft.Ifantasizedaboutbendingyouover
mydeskandslidingmylong,hardcockrightinsideyou.Ispatonmyhand
andrubbeditupanddownthelengthofmyshaft,picturingyourdelicious
butt. I didn’t stop until my cum was all over my hand. That was the first
timeI’deverdoneanythinglikethatinmyofficeandluckilyIhadaboxof
Kleenexonmydesk.Iquicklywipedoffmyhandandthenhurriedthrough
theofficetothewashroom.

“Oh, sir,” my secretary said, trying to stop me as I passed her desk.

“Please,stop!”

Istopped.Myhandswereinmypockets,stillsticky.Mycockwasstill

prettybiginmypantsbutatleastitwasn’tstickingout.

“Thenewclientrelationshipmanagerishere,”mysecretarysaid.
Thenshewavedyouoverfromyourdeskwhereyouwerejustgetting

setup.

Ineverfeltsoawkwardinmylife.Iwasstandingthere,freshfrommy

orgasm,mycheeksstillflushed,myhandwipedbutnotwashed,andyou
werewalkingrightover.

“It’s an honor to meet you, sir,” you said, extending your hand in

greeting.

Ilookedatyourhand.TherewasnowayinhellIwasgoingtoshakeit.

NotafterwhatI’djustdone.

“You’llhavetoexcuseme,”Isaidcurtlyandturnedtoleave.
Itwasrudeofme,butyoutellmehonestlywhatIshouldhavedonein

thatmoment!

Idon’toftentakeaninterestinawoman.Notarealinterest.Sure,Iget

laidonaregularbasis,butnoneofitevermeansanything.Itakeawoman
home,Islidemydickinher,Icum,andIgo.Orrather,shegoes.

Ineverletitgofurtherthanthat.
Butyouhadmyinterestrightfromthatveryfirstsecond.Forthenext

threeweeksInoticedyouaroundtheoffice.Ialwaysfeltalittleawkward
afterthewayI’dtreatedyouthatfirstday.Ineverspoketoyouofcourse,
I’mfartooimportantandmenacingtostrikeupaconversationaroundthe
watercooler,butInoticedeverythingwithouteverlettingon.

You work in client services. That means you spend the day on the

phone with my most important clients. You put their mind at ease, you
makesurethey’rehappy,youtellthemwhatwe’redoingforthemandhow
it’s going to make them rich. And they eat it up. You’re a natural at your
job. You have a way of putting powerful men at ease and getting them to
feelexactlywhatyouwantthemtofeel.It’slikeyouwerebornforthejob.

Andit’snotaneasyjob.Thesemenaredemanding.They’reassholes.

They’re used to getting everything they want, exactly when they want it,
andneversayingpleaseorthankyou.

That’s what’s so effective about you. You never give them what they

want.Whentheysaytheywantmorelawyersontheirfile,somethingthat
costs me money, you tell them they can’t have it. And usually that would
lose us the client, but when you say it to them, they just accept it. When
they say they want to speak directly to me, and waste half my afternoon
talking about golf or stock tips in the process, you tell them I’m far too
busyforthem.

You’resexy.You’reinnocent.

Oratleast,youcomeacrossthatway.Butthere’smoretoyouthanthat.

Behind all that sweetness, all that pretty hair and cute outfits and red
lipstick, there’s a power. You’re sure of yourself. You know what you’re
doing.Andyoudon’tcompromise,youdon’tbackdown.It’swhatmakes
youirresistibletomyclients.

Andirresistibletome.
After three weeks of watching you work, I can honestly say I’m

obsessedwithyou.Ithinkaboutyouallthetime.WhenI’matthegymat
five in the morning, pumping iron, I’m thinking about you. When I’m
closing a deal with a rival legal team, billions of dollars at stake, I’m
thinkingofyou.WhenI’mfuckingsomebroadIjustpickedupatthePlaza
ortheRitzCarlton,I’mthinkingofyou.

Andthat’swhyItookthingstothenextlevel.
Iknowwhatyou’regoingtosay.You’regoingtothinkI’macreep.I’m

astalker.I’mafreakwhoshouldbelockedup.

But you don’t know me. You don’t know who I am. My work is

incrediblystressful.I’mthirty-nineyearsoldandIsinglehandedlybuiltone
ofWallStreet’smostprestigiouslawfirms.I’vegotpeoplegunningforme
everyday.Tryingtomakemeslipup.Tryingtocatchmeinamistake.You
don’tgettowhereIamwithoutmakingafewenemies.

SoI’mstressed,butthat’snottheonlything.I’mlonelytoo.Ihaveno

family.Igrewupinthesystem.Ineverkneweitherofmyparents.They’re
dead as far as I’m concerned. I’ve never been married. No kids. No girl
friends.Nofriends,period.

Ican’ttrustanyone.TheyearIsetupthefirm,oneofmyrivalshired

someone to get close to me. I let her into my life and she betrayed me.
Almostcostmemycareer.Eversince,I’veneverbeenabletotrustanyone.

Notevenyou.
That’swhyIstartedfollowingyou.
I had to know who you were, whether you worked for anyone else,

whetheryouwereouttogetmelikealltherestofthem.Ihadtoknowyou
weren’tsenttobringmedown.

SoIcheckedtheblackleathercalendaryoualwaysleftsittingonyour

desk.Iflippedthroughitandstraightawaysawsomethingsuspicious.You
weremeetingmybiggestclientforlunch.Hadhehiredyoutokeeptabson
me?Toinfiltratemyfirmandbringmedown?Iknowthatsoundsparanoid
butthat’swhatmyworldislike.Really.

AndIhadtoknowthetruth.
I had my chauffeur bring my limo round to the front of the office at

lunchtime.Wewaitedforyoutocomeoutandwhenyoucaughtyourcab,
we followed. You got out at a fancy restaurant and I followed you a few
minuteslater.

Therewasn’tmuchriskyou’dnoticemeinthere.I’malawyerwithan

athletic physique, salt and pepper hair, and a tailored suit. In short, I
lookedexactlylikeeveryotherguyintheplace.

I took a seat at a booth behind yours and listened in on the

conversation.Thisparticularclientisnotoriouslydifficulttodealwith,but
thewayyoutalkedtohim,itwasliketakingcandyfromababy.Youhad
him eating out of your hands by the end of lunch. You were funny,
entertaining, and you knew exactly how to use your womanly charms to
keephimatease.

And most important of all, you weren’t working for him. In fact, you

werehelpingme.You’darrangedthemeetingtomakeextracertainhewas
satisfied with the service we were giving him and to find out if there was
anythingmoremyfirmcoulddotomeethisneeds.Heendedupagreeingto
giveusevenmorework.Youmadememoney,andyoudidn’tevencharge
thelunchtoyourexpenseaccount.Youpaidforitwithyourownpersonal
creditcard.

Iwasfloored.I’dcomeoutexpectingyoutobetakingadvantageofme,

ofplottingtobringmedown,butyouwereactuallylookingoutforme.

Itfeltstrange.Noonehadeverlookedoutformebefore.Growingup

anorphanhadtaughtmetorelyonlyonmyself.

NowIsawthatyouhadmyback.SohowdidIrepaythekindness?
DidIaskyouintomyofficeandthankyou?

DidIgiveyouaraise?
DidIsendyouonanallexpensespaidtriptotheBahamas?
No, I did none of those things. I found that once I started following

you,Ididn’twanttostop.No,it’snotthatIdidn’twanttostop,Icouldn’t
stop.Icouldn’tgetyououtofmymind.Youwentfrombeingagirlinthe
officeIwasattractedto,tomyobsession.

Iwantedtobenearyou.Iwantedtowatchyou.Iwantedtoknowwhere

youwereandwhatyouweredoing.

AndIdidn’tjustwanttowatchyou,Iwantedtoprotectyou.Iwanted

tomakesurenothingbadeverhappenedtoyou.

Iwasobsessed.Iknowthisisthekindofbehaviorthatgetsmenlocked

up,butIcouldn’thelpmyself.

IhadmydriverfollowyouhomethatnightandIsawforthefirsttime

where you lived. It was a sketchy neighborhood and I worried about your
safety. I called my private security firm and had them watch over you.
Nothingyou’devernotice,butitwouldensureyoursafety.

I also learned that you volunteered at a local public school, teaching

leadership skills to inner city kids, and I made sure the program you
worked for received extra funding. And every day, I made sure my driver
wasreadytofollowyoutowhereveryouwentforlunch.

Sometimes you’d go out for a meeting at a restaurant and I’d follow

and get a table near yours. Sometimes you sat at your desk and ate a
sandwich from a brown paper bag. On those days I sat at my desk too. I
could see you from my office and I would sit there and pretend to be
working,butreallyIwasjustenjoyingthefactthatIwasneartoyou.And
sometimesyougototheparkandfeedthebirds.Isitonabenchacrossthe
green and watch you. I’m far enough away that you don’t notice me, but
near enough that I can see you throwing bread crumbs for the pigeons. It
makesmesmiletowatchyouonthosedays.

H

E

DOESN

’

T

KNOW

I know his secret. For a man so obsessed with security

andprivacy,he’sasurprisinglybadstalker.It’salmostendearing.

I noticed it right from the very first day. It’s hard not to notice a

luxuriouschauffeurdrivenlimo,eveninManhattan.It’sevenhardernotto
notice my super hot boss, dressed to kill in his impeccable black suit,
walkingintoarestaurantandtakingatablealone.

He’s the kind of man everyone notices. He doesn’t stand a chance of

stayingundercover.Hestandsoutfromamillionmilesaway.Thefactthat
hedoesn’trealizethatonlymakeshimmoreattractive.

Ican’tgethimoutofmymind.Hetakesmybreathawayeverytimehe

approaches my desk. His perfect hair, his intoxicating cologne, his
irresistiblesmile.EverytimeIgetasmellofhiscolognemypalmssweat,
andmypantiesdampen.

He’s a dream come true. He’s rich, he’s powerful, he’s confident, and

he’s not afraid to take what he wants. Except for me. For some reason,
something’sholdinghimbackfromtakingme.

Iknowhewantsme.Hisprivatesecurityteamstoppedaburglaryofmy

apartmentlastweek,andhethinksIhaven’tputtwoandtwotogether.The
after school program I work for got a ten thousand dollar anonymous
donation, just when we thought we’d run out of funding, and he doesn’t
thinkIknowit’shim.

Sowhat’sholdinghimback?
I’msittinginthisfancyrestaurant,schmoozingsomestockbrokerour

firm represents, and he’s sitting there at the bar with his back to me,
watchingeverythinginthemirrorbehindthebar.

Makeamove!
Takeme!
Iwantsomethingtohappensobadly!
He’s obviously got trust issues. He’s definitely not your average Joe.

I’mnotsureI’deverbetakinghimhometomeetmymother,ifyouknow
whatImean.ButIreally,reallywanthimtomakeamove.

Iwantsomethingtohappen.

There’s only so much obsession a girl can take before you either take

herandmakeheryours,orshegetsarestrainingorderagainstyou.

“Ohreally?”Isaytotheclient,pretendingtobeinterestedinwhathe’s

saying.

Thesemenloveitwhenawomanseemsinterestedinwhattheydo.It

must be such a rare occurrence. You’re not going to find many women,
evenindowntownManhattan,whoareinterestedinNasdaqsharesandoil
futures.

OutofthecornerofmyeyeIwatchmyboss.Kurt.Helookssocasual,

so confident, in a two thousand dollar Armani suit, sipping some fancy
coffee,completelyoblivioustothefactthatIknowhe’sstalkingme.

Whatwouldhesayifheknew?Howwouldhereact?
I’msurehe’snotusedtobeingcalledoutonsomething.
“You must be so smart,” I say to the client, trying not to sound

completelyfake.“That’ssomuchmoney.”

I’msmilingbutI’mlookingatKurt.Isheevenwatchingme?Knowing

myluck,he’llgetboredofmebeforeheevermakesamove.Thatwouldbe
devastating. That’s the ultimate rejection. I must be the first woman in
historywho’safraidofbeingrejectedbyherownstalker!Howdesperateis
that?

I’vegottodosomething.I’vegottogetKurttomakeamove.
Of course, I could never call him Kurt to his face. It’s all, Mr.

Silverstone this, Mr. Silverstone that, at the office. But I yearn to be that
girlwhowakesupnexttohimsomemorningandsays,“Kurtbaby,wantto
goagain?”

Ibethiscockisabsolutelyperfect.Ibetit’saworkofart.NotthatI’m

muchofanexpertonthesubject.I’mnotavirgin,I’lladmitthatmuch,but
I’ve never had truly satisfying sex in my life. I’ve never been in love.
Honestly,they’renotgoingtobewritinganybooksaboutmylovelifeafter
I’mdead.

I’mabore.
Icomeacrossasconfident.Sexy,even.Iknowhowtoworkwithwhat

I’ve got, use my curves to my advantage, and I love shopping for pretty
things.

But, alas, I’ve never truly been wowed in the bedroom. And I don’t

eventhinkIregisteredallthathighlyforthemenIwaswitheither.They’d
probablyratemeasix,ormaybeasevenifI’mbeinggenerous.Definitely
notaneightoranine.

ButbeinganeightoranineiswhereIbelong.Iknowit.Ijustneedthe

rightmaninmylife.KurtSilverstoneisthatman.

God, look at him. He’s talking to the cocktail waitress now. She’s

flirtingherfaceoff.Ofcoursesheis.Shemustbefourteenyearsold.It’s
probablyillegalforhertobewearingaskirtthatshort.Ibethetakeshome
girlslikethatallthetime.

Ineedhisattention.
He’smystalkerandIwantmoreattention!I’minsane!
Look at me! Look at me, Kurt Silverstone! Stop talking to that

teenager!

“I can’t believe you got away with it,” I say to the client, who’s still

droningonabouttheworld’smostamazingstocktrade.

Dude, I’m a girl. Can’t you talk about something human? Something

that might remotely interest me? Don’t you watch television? Don’t you
haveanyfriends?Don’tyoudoanythingbutwork?

Ohno!Kurt’sgettingup.Isheleaving?
He’s still watching me in the mirror. He wants me. Come on, do

somethingaboutit.I’mallyours!

He’sputtingonhiscoat.Thisissuchanepicfail.Ican’tevengetmy

ownstalkertostickarounduntiltheendofthedate.

Withoutthinking,IdosomethingthatI’veneverdonebeforeinmylife.

I make a move. Not on the man I want of course. That would make too
muchsense.ButtogettheattentionofthemanIwant.

IputmyhandonMisterClient’sknee.It’sbold,it’sseductive,andoh

yes,it’sdesperate.

He looks at me. He’s as amazed as I am. His blank, boring face turns

immediatelyintoaridiculousgrin.

“Oh,my,”hesays.“I’veheardofwomengettingturnedonbyfinance

talk,butI’veneveractuallywitnessedit.”

I glance toward Kurt. Oh, that got his attention. He turns around and

looksrightatus.

Ilookbacktotheclient.
“Tellmemore,”Isay,slidingmyhandslowlyuphisthigh.
I honestly don’t know what I’m doing. I’ve never done anything

remotelylikethisbeforeinmylife.Thisissonotme.

Heleansforwardandputshishandonmyarm.
“Maybe I’ll tell you about the time we cornered the market on corn

futures.”

“Oh,corn,Ilovecorn,”Isaypathetically.
Ifyouwantaclassinhownottobeaseductress,thisisit.
MisterClientrubshisfingeralongmybarearmasmyhandslidesback

down his thigh, retreating from his obviously stiffening cock. This is too
much. If this doesn’t get Kurt’s attention, I’m out of ideas. Short of
undressingbymywindow,Idon’tknowwhatelseIcandototempthimto
makeamove.

“Wilberforce,fancymeetingyouhere!”
It’sKurt.Mysavior.
“Oh,” the client stammers, hurriedly taking his hand off my arm.

“Silverstone.Wewerejusteh…”.

“Justwhat?”Kurtsays,fixingtheclientinhisgaze.
The client is about half Kurt’s size and is obviously squirming. Kurt

putshishandonmyshoulder,veryclearlyshowingtheclientthatI’mhis,
hisproperty.Thisishisterritory.

Wilberforce backs right off. He knows the alpha male when he sees

him.

“Your,eh,yourclientmanager…”
“Haveanicelunch?”Kurtsays,cuttinghimshort.
“Yes,verynice.”

“Good,I’lltakecareofthebill.Youmakesuretoletmeknowifyou

haveanyquestionsaboutthetradedeal.”

“Icertainlywill,Silverstone.FirstthingonMonday.”
Wilberforce makes a big deal about looking at his watch and says to

me,“It’sbeenapleasureasalways.”

“Likewise,”Isay,givinghimalittlewink.
Istillcan’tbelieveKurt’shandisonmyshoulder.Histouchiselectric.

I feel like a million megawatts are flowing from his hand into my arm,
drivingeverynerveinmybodywildwithanticipation.

He’s touching me. He’s claiming me! This is exactly what I’ve been

waitingfor.ThisiswhatI’vebeenlongingfor.Anditfeelssogood.

KurtwatchesWilberforceleaveandthentakeshisseatacrossfromme.
“Are you always that friendly to your clients?” I say, motioning to

Wilberforcewho’spracticallyrunningforthedoor.

“Areyou?”Kurtsaysbacktome.
Ilookintohiseyesandfeelfrozentomyseat.There’ssuchafeelingof

powerfromhim.Suchafeelingofdominance.Therearealotofalphaguys
on Wall Street but Kurt Silverstone takes the cake. They’re all afraid of
him. Everyone. You remember that movie, the Wolf of Wall Street? Well
Kurt Silverstone is the real wolf on the street. There are stories of him
bringing the richest and most powerful CEO’s in the world literally to
tears.

Andit’seasytoseewhy.
One look at him and you know you’re not dealing with your average

guy. There’s a fire in his stare, and a power in his body that’s instantly
visible.Helooksreadytopounceatamoment’snotice.Helooks,inshort,
likeapredator.

IwonderbrieflyifIshouldtellhimIknowhe’sbeenwatchingme,but

it’s clear as day that would be a mistake. He’s finally come for me, he’s
finallymakinghisclaim,andthelastthingintheworldIwanttodoisstop
him.

HelooksatthedishesonthetableandIcanseehe’smentallytallying

upwhatthemealcost.Hetakesouthiswalletandcountsoutthreehundred
dollarbills.There’snowayinhellmylunchcostanythingnearthatmuch
buthedoesn’tcare.He’sinahurry.

Hestandsupandtakesmycoatfromthebackofmyseat.Heholdsit

formelikewe’vedonethisamilliontimesbeforeandIstandandlethim
put it on me. Without a word, he takes my hand in his and leads me
throughtherestaurant.

Hishandissoftandsmoothbutlargeandminefeelssmallinhis.
IfeelinstantlylikeIbelongwithhim.He’snotaskingwhatIwantto

do, he’s not asking if I’ll come with him. He just knows. There’s a
confidenceinhiseverymovethatmakesmyheartpound.IfeellikeI’mhis
girl.

“Mr.Silverstone.Miss,”therestaurantgreetersaysaswewalkpast.
Itfeelsgoodtobehismiss.
Wewalkoutontothesidewalkandheputshisarmaroundme,making

surewedon’tgetseparatedbythecrowd.It’sbusy.Kurtwalkstotheside
ofthestreetandputstwofingersinhismouthtoletouttheloudestwhistle
I’veeverheard.

His limo pulls up and he opens the door and helps me in. He’s so

gentlemanly.MorethanIimagined.Ilikeit.

Isitnexttohimontheleatherseatandhelooksatme.
“George,takeushome,”hesaystothedriver,thenpressesabuttonthat

closesthewindowbetweenusandthedriver.

ThecarstartstakingusuptownalongFifthAvenueandIcan’tbelieve

where I am. I’m the girl in the limo with the hot guy. The girl I always
dreamedofbeingbutneverdaredthinkitwouldactuallyhappen.

“So,youlikethatguy?”Kurtsays,referringtoWilberforce.
He’sobviouslyjealousanditsendsbutterfliesthroughmystomachto

realizehecaresenoughtobeupset.

“He’snotbad,”Isayteasingly.
“Notbad?He’sthemostboringguyinNewYork.”
“Whatdoyoucare?”Isay,surprisedathowconfidentIsound.

I almost sound like I’m used to being whisked out of restaurants by

sexymenand takeninto limos.I’m nowherenear asconfident asIsound
butI’vealwayshadagoodgameface.Icandothis.

“It’sjust,ifyouwanttodateoneofmyclients,youcouldatleastask

myadvice.I’dsetyouupwithawaybetterguythanWilberforce.”

“Oh,really?”
“Really.”
“You’dsetmeup?”
“Sure.”
I know he’s lying. He’s obsessed with me. He’s been stalking me for

weeks.Hecan’tbearthethoughtofmebeingwithanothermanandIknow
it.Thethoughtofhimbeingjealousisthrillingandarousing.

He’slookingrightatme,lookingatmelikehewantstodevourme,to

ownme,andIfeelmypantiesdampen.

“Okay,givemethenumberoftheguyyourecommendandI’llgivehim

ashot.”

Helooksatmethenlooksaway,shakinghishead.
“You’resomethingelse,youknowthat?”
“Why?BecauseIwanttogetsetuponadate?”
“Youdon’twanttobesetuponadate.”
“Howdoyouknow?”
“Iknow,becauseyouwantme.”
“Oh,Ido?AndIsupposeyou’reamindreader,”Isay.
Heleansinclosetomesothatourarmsaretouchingandourfacesare

justinchesapart.

“I’mreadingyou,”hesays.
“And what do you see?” I say, my voice losing its confidence for the

firsttime.

Hesmiles.
“Notsofast.First,Iwanttoknowwhatyousee.”
I look into his eyes. My heart is beating in my chest. I’ve never been

morearousedbyamaninmyentirelife.Iwanthimtotakemerightthen

andthere.Iwanthiminsideme.Iwanthiscockinmypussy,pumpinglike
anenginepiston.

“I see a man who wasn’t going to let me leave that restaurant with

Wilberforce,”Isay.

Kurtletsoutaquicklaugh.
“Youalwaysthissureofyourself?”
Ishrug.
“Allright,”hesays.“Iadmitit.Igotjealous.”
“Jealous?Why?BecauseI’myouremployee?”
Helooksatme,judgingwhetherornottotellmethetruth.
“No,”hesays.“Notbecauseyou’remyemployee.”
“Whythen?Whywereyoueventhere?Doyoualwaysgotothatplace

forlunch?”

Kurt lets out a small sigh. He puts his hand on my knee. I’m not

wearing any tights and my pencil skirt is bunched up a little above the
knee.Hisskinonminedrivesmewild.

“IgotjealousbecauseIcan’tstandthethoughtofyouwithaguylike

Wilberforce.”

“JustWilberforce?”Isay,openingmylegseversoslightly.
Kurt’shandmovesslowlyupmythigh.
“Okay,anyman.Ican’tstandthethoughtofyouwithanyman.”
Idon’tknowwhatI’mdoingbutIcan’thelpitnow.Ican’tstop.My

bodywantsthisandnomatterhowmanywarningbellsmymindsetsoff,I
already know I’m going to go through with it. Whatever Kurt wants from
me,he’sgoingtoget.IknowImightendupregrettingthis.IknowImight
endupheartbroken.ButI’mhisnow.Heownsme,foraslongashewants
me.

“Andwhataboutafteryou’vehadme?”Isay.
AssoonasIsayitIregretit.WhatamIdoing?DoIwanttoruinthis?
Buttomysurprise,Kurtshakeshishead.
“I’m not going to chew you up and spit you out, if that’s what you

mean.”

Istillcan’tbelievewhatI’mdoingbuthiswordsgivemeconfidence.
“Iimagineyou’vehadalotofwomeninthislimo,Kurt.”
“Thisisdifferent.Ipromiseyouthat.”
“Andwhyisitdifferent?”
He slides his hand all the way up to my satin panties. I tremble with

desire.Iwantnothingmorethantosurrendertothislust.

“Because you’re not just another girl. You’re an obsession. You’re a

passion. I can’t get you out of my head and once I taste you, I’m never
givingupthetaste.”

Withthat,hepullsmypantiesdownmylegsandovermyankles.Ilift

my legs to allow them to come off. I look in his eyes and I see a wild
passion. He wants me so badly it’s driving him crazy and his lust ignites
mine. Just knowing how badly he wants me makes me want him all the
morepowerfully.

Iglanceupatthechauffeurbuthe’satrainedprofessional.Hiseyesare

gluedtotheroadahead.

“Iwanttotasteyou,”Kurtsays.
Inod,eversoslightly,andspreadmylegsopenevenmore.
Hereachesundermyskirt.Hisfingersfindmybuttonandherubs.His

faceisrightinfrontofmeandIgaspforbreath.Hislipsmeetmineandas
histongueentersmymouth.Hisfingerslidesintomywetpussyandcurls
up,coaxingmypleasurewithabeckoningmotion.

Ilethimkissmepassionatelyandasthepleasuregrowsinmypussy,I

pantinhismouth.Ibitehisbottomlipandhesmilesplayfully.

“Oh, you’re going to pay for that,” he says, and slides another finger

intomypussy.

I moan in pleasure. I’m on the verge of cumming. I want him to enter

me.MorethananythingIwanthiscockinsideme.Iwanthimtokeephis
promisetome.Iwanthimtostaywithmeafterthisisover.AndIwanthim
toknowthefulldepthofthepleasureIcangivehim.

Hehastocuminsideme.That’sthebestchanceIhaveofwinninghis

heartforever.

I moan and tighten my legs together as his fingers continue to work

theirmagicinsideme.

“Kurt,”Imoan.“I’mcumming.”
Butjustbeforetheorgasmcrashesthroughme,thelimostops.
“What’shappening?”Igasp.
Ican’tbelieveit.Iwassoclose.
Kurt smiles. He tidies my skirt and pulls his hand out. He brings his

fingertohismouthandsucksit.

“Delicious,”hesays,openingthecardoor.“Comeon,we’rehome.”
“Iwascumming,”IprotestasIfollowhimout.
Weleavemyforgottenpantiesinthecarandheleadsmeintothelobby

ofhissuperfancyapartmentbuilding.

“Ihavemyownelevator,”hesayswithawink,leadingmetothebrass

doors.

“Ofcourseyoudo,”Isay,following.
WeracethroughthelobbyandIcan’tbearthewaitfortheelevator.I

squirmindesire.DidImention,Iwassoclosetocumming?

The elevator door opens with a chime, at last, and we jump in. Kurt

pressesthebuttonforthepenthouse.He’simpatientandpressesitoverand
over,tryingtogetthedoorstoclosefaster.Thesecondtheyclose,he’son
topofme.

He pushes me against the back of the elevator and starts making out

with me passionately, ravenously, like a horny teenager. I throw my head
backandhismouthmovesdownmyneck,sendingshiversthroughme.

“Oh,God,”hemoansasheripsopenthebuttonsofmyblouse.
“Kurt,”IprotestbutIdon’tcare.
Iwanthimtostripme.Iwanttobenakedandhis,utterlyandentirely.I

wanthimtohaveeverythingofmehedesires.

He reaches down to my butt and instinctively I hop up and wrap my

legsaroundhiswaist.Myblouseisopenbutmybraisstillon.Hekisses
me, and when the elevator dings, he doesn’t stop. He keeps kissing me
passionatelyashecarriesmebackwardoutoftheelevator.

To my surprise, we’re directly in his apartment. I never took a private

elevator before so I wasn’t expecting it. He carries me through the most
luxuriousapartmentimaginableandthrowsmedownonhismassivebed.

“You’reminenow,”hegrowls.“Atlast.”
Iclosemyeyesandspreadmylegs.
Hegetsonthebedandputshisheadbetweenmylegs.Pullingmyskirt

uparoundmywaist,beputshismouthonmypussyandsucksitwithall
thepassionofhiskissintheelevator.

Immediately,Istartcumming.HistongueslidesinsidemeandItremble

withpleasure.AnorgasmrushesthroughmybodyandIcryout,wrapping
mythighsaroundhisheadlikeI’mtryingtostranglehim.

Hesucksmyclit,licksmypussy,andIgushinpleasure.Hedrinksme

asIcumandwhenIfinallyfinishIhavetostruggletogethismouthoffme.
He’stoyingwithme.HeknowshowsensitiveIam.Ipushhisheadoffme
andhegivesmeawickedlook.

“Takeoffyourclothes,”hesays.
Ishudderindesire.It’ssoobvioushe’susedtogettinghisway,andI

can’thelpobeyinghim.

I take off all my clothes and lie before him, completely vulnerable to

hisgaze.

Heopenshisbeltandpullshiserectcockoutofhispants.It’sperfect,

justasIknewitwouldbe.

Heleapsonmeandstartskissingmymouth.Itastemyselfonhimand

don’tcare.Iwrapmylegsaroundhimandwhenheentersme,thepleasure
isexcruciating.Hiscockisenormous,biggerthananythingthat’severbeen
insideme,andIwritheasheplungesitdeepinsideme.Thrustafterthrust,
hedriveshisweaponintomeandIclosemyeyesandbitemylip.

Whenhefinallycums,Icumwithhim.Ifeelhiscockgrowandharden

evenmorethanithasalready,thenapowerfulfloodofsemenpoursfrom
himintome.Ibitehisshoulder,diggingmeteethdeeperintohisfleshthan
I intended. My nails dig into his muscular back like a cat scrawling him.
Everymuscleinmybodyclenchesinpleasure.Ifeelhiscumpouringinto

me and then he collapses, his full weight crushing me into the soft, silky
bed.

“Oh,Kurt,”Imoan,“thatwasincredible.”
“Ihopeyoulikedit,”hesays,“becauseyou’reminenow.I’vegotyou

andI’mnoteverlettingyougo.”

T

P E R S O N A L I N V I T A T I O N

hishasbeenanaughty,sexy,sinfullydelightfulChanceCartershort

story.IpublishanAmericanBoyfriendstoryeverySunday,bringingyoua
newbookboyfriendtofantasizeanddreamabout.Mygoalistomakeyou
feellikethegirlinthestory.

Ifyou’dlikeanewbookboyfriendeveryweek,

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ChanceCarter

A L S O B Y C H A N C E C A R T E R

Don’tmisstheoriginaleroticadventureinmyBadBoySeries,thestoryofJacksonandFaith.

BadBoyDaddy

Hewantedababy.Ineededaman.

Faith

ThefirsttimeIsawJackson,Ihatedhisguts.HewaseverythingIcouldneverhave.Pure,

panty-wetting,manhood.AndIwastrappedinalovelessrelationshipwithhisworstenemy.I
neverwouldhavedreamedhecravedmywombsobadlyhewaswillingtodoanythingforit.

Jackson

Myfather'sdeathtaughtmealotofthings.Mostimportantly,Ineededachild.Ihadtohavea

sonbeforemyenemiescaughtupwithme.SowhenFaithcamebeggingforprotection,Iknew

exactlywhatIwanted.Iyearnedforherbody.Lustragedthroughmelikeawildfire.Ilonged

tomakeherpregnantwithmychild.Igaveheranoffershecouldn'trefuse.Alifeforalife.My

protection,inexchangeforeverythingshehadtooffer.I'ddieforher,butshewouldgivemea

son.

Itookherwomb.Ineversuspectedshe'dtakemyheart.

C H A P T E R 1

F A I T H

ThefirsttimeIsawhim,Ihatedhisguts.

HewasthesexiestcreatureonGod’sgreenearth,andhewasallthethingsIwouldneverhave.Hewas
cocky,arrogant,andconfident,butinnoneofthewaysIwasusedtowithWolf.

HewalkedintotheLosLoboshangoutlikeheownedtheplace.Hewaslateforhisappointmentandfora
briefmoment,Iwonderedwhathetoldtheguardsforthemtolethimpast.Iwastheonlyonestillinthe
bar,enjoyingararemomenttomyself.

“I’mlookingforWolf,”hesaid.

Ishrugged.“You’relate.”

Iwasdifferentinthosedays.Iwasn’thappywiththehandlifedealtme,andItookitoutonwhoeverI
could.I’mnotproudofthewayIwas,butthingsweregettingdesperateformeandIwastooafraidto
admitI’dmadeamistake.WolfStatenwasmymistake—acruel,brutishmistake—amistakeIcouldnever
unmake.

“Well,whateveryoudo,don’ttroubleyourself,”hesaid,anarrogantsmileonhislips.

Wasthisjerktauntingme?

Thetruthwas,IwassickofLosLobosandtheirsmooth-talking,tattooedmusclemen.Thefactthatthis
onehadarmslikeMarkWahlbergandasmiletomatchdidn’tchangethat.Hewasacriminal,justlikethe
others,andifhewantedtospeaktoWolf,hecoulddamnwellshowupontimelikeeveryoneelse.

“Oh,I’msorry,Ididn’trealizeIwassupposedtojumptoattentioneverytimeaguylikeyouwalkedin.”

“Youalwaysthisfriendlytoyourpotentialpartners?”

“You’renotmypotentialanything,”Isaid.

“Youdon’tknowthat.”

Ilookedintohiseyes.Somethingabouthisconfidencebuggedthecrapoutofme.Icouldn’tsaywhat.
UsuallywhenpeoplecametoLosLobos,theywerescaredtodeath.Thisguylookedlikehewasona
morningstrollthroughthepark.

“Yes,Ido,”Isaidpointedly.

Heheldmeinhisgaze,thenshrugged.“Youmightbesurprised.”

“MightI?Idoubtit.”

“Strangerthingshavehappened.”

Hewasinfuriating.

“Forgetit,”Isaid.“Whateveryou’rethinking,forgetit.Thenforgetwhatyouforgot.Youlooklikethe
kindofguywhocouldmanagethat.”

Heletoutalaugh.

Myeyesglancedoverhischiseledchestandtorso,visiblethroughhistightshirt.God,hewassexy.

“Anyoneevertellyouyou’retouchy?”hesaid.

“I’vegotmyreasons,”Isaiddefensively.

“Ibetyoudo,”hesaid,lookingaroundthebar.

Ididn’tknowifhewasagreeingwithmeorchallengingme.Ididn’tknowhowtoreadhim.Hewasfrank
anddirect,didn’tplaygames,andintheworldIlivedin,gamesweretheonlythingthatmattered.

“Wecoulddothisallday,”Isaid,“butI’mnotinthemoodforbanter.”

“Haveityourway.YouknowwhereIcanfindhim?”

“Who?”Isaid,knowingfullwellwhohemeant.Iwasprolongingourinteractionwithoutevenrealizing
it.WasIthatlonelyforrealcontact?

“Wolf.”

“I’msorry,istheresomethingaboutmethatgivesyoutheimpressionI’mhissecretary?”

“Jesus.Whatisitwithyou?Justtellmewhereheis.”

“Fine.He’sgone.Theyallare.Youmissedthem.”

“Shit,”hesaid.

Inodded.“So,youknow,don’tletmekeepyou.”

I’dbecomeabitchandIknewit.Heknewittoo,buthetookitasachallenge.Hewasoneofthoseguys
whowantedwhathecouldn’thave.

Helookedatmeandasmilecrossedhisfacethatdrovememad.HewassosexyIhadtobitemylip.I
won’tsaywhatIreallywantedtobite.Itwasn’teverydayIwasalonewithaguylikethis.Wolfwastoo
jealoustoallowit.Thewaythisguylookedatmemademyheartspeedup.

“Girl,you’reluckyIdon’tcomeoverthereandteachyousomemanners.”

Amentalimageofhimbendingmeoverthebarandspankingmynakedbuttflashedbeforemyeyes.It
mademycheeksflush.

Hewascharmingashell.Hewasmytypetoo,sexy,thebadboylook,muscles,arawattitudethatexuded
confidence.IwantedhimtoleavesoIwouldn’tberemindedofallthethingsIcouldn’thave.

IalreadyknewhewasnothinglikeWolf.Thisguywouldbegoodtohisgirl.He’dtreatherright.He
wouldn’thither.Ihadexperienceinthatdepartment,andIcouldtell.Thetruthwas,thisguywas
everythingI’dgivenupforeverbygettinginvolvedwithWolf,anditwastorturetoseeit.

Iwantedhimtoturnaroundandwalkoutthedoor,butanotherpartofmewasdesperateforhimtostay.

“Manners?”Isaid.

Hisgrinstretchedfromeartoear.“Themannersyourdaddyshouldhavetaughtyou.”

Icouldn’tresist.“Youwouldn’thavethenerve,”Isaidand,despitemyintentions,gavehimaslysmile.

Thatgothisattention.Helookedatmeagainasifseeingmeforthefirsttime.Hiseyesdrankmeinfrom
headtotoe,staringatmyassandtitslongerthanwasnecessary.

“Tryme,”hesaid.

“Trustme,youdon’twanttogetmixedupwithagirllikeme.”

“Areyouthatdangerous?”

“Let’sjustsay,ifyoumessedwithme,you’dbetakingyourlifeinyourhands.”

Idon’tknowwhatgotmetalkingtohimlikethat.Itwasn’tlikemetoflirtwiththelowlifesthatdid
businesswithLosLobos.Idespisedallofthem.Buteverythingaboutthisguywasdifferent.Hehadballs.
InallthemonthsI’dbeenwithWolf,thiswasthefirsttimeI’dmetanyonewhoseemedtohavethenerve
torivalhim.

“Don’tyouknow?”hesaid,“Somethingsareworthriskingyourlifefor.”

“Somethings?”

“Sure.Somethings,”hesaidandlookeddownatmyassagainasifassessingme,checkingifIwasoneof
thosethingsworthtakingariskfor.Cockyprick.

Thewayhelookedatmemademefeeltheneedtoprovemyself.IrealizedIwassittingupstraightinmy
seat,shouldersback,breastspushedforward,thewaymymotherhadalwayswantedmetositwhenIwas
akid.Forthefirsttimeinmonths,Iactuallycaredwhatsomeonethoughtofme.

Hemeltedmyresistance.Istrugglednottoshowit.Icouldn’tletthisgoanywhere.AstemptedasIwasto
flirt,IwouldbeliterallytakingmylifeinmyhandsifIdid.

“Let’syouandmegoforawalk,”hesaid.

Ilaughed.“Awalk?”

Hewinked.Godhewasarrogant.Ilovedit.

“WhatmakesyouthinkIwanttogoforawalkwithyou?”

Hiseyebrowsrose.“Shapelylegs,tightass,Ibetyoucanwalkthefuckoutofthosepumps.”

Iburstoutlaughing.“Walkthefuckoutofmypumps?”Irepeatedoutloud.Icouldn’tbelievehe’dsaidit
likethat.

“Girl,IcantellanassassinwhenIseeone.”

IfWolfeveroverheardanythinglikethis,there’dbehelltopay.He’dstringmeupandhavehisthugsbeat
theshitoutofme.Buthe’dleftforVegas.

“Anassassin?”

“Anassassinoftheheart.”

Thatdidit.Iburstoutlaughingevenlouderthanbefore.IlaughedharderthanIhadinmonths.Hewas
playing,beingintentionallyridiculous,butitworked.Ifithadn’tbeenforthethreatofWolf’sjealousy,I’d
havegottenonthebackofhisbikeandriddenwithhimwhereverthehellhewanted.I’dalwaysbeena
suckerforacockybadboywiththegutstoletmeknowwhathewantedfromme.

“I’veneverheardanyoneusethatline,”Ilaughed.

Hewassmirkingnow.Heknewhe’dwonmeover.“It’snotaline.”

“Isn’tit?”

Hiseyescrawledoverme,lingeringonallthehotspots.Hehadsomenerve.Ihadtogivehimthatmuch.
Heknewhowtowalkintoaroom,spotwhathewanted,andgoforit.

“Well,beforeyougetcarriedaway,yououghttoknowI’mWolf’sgirl.”

“Isthatawarning?”

“I’djusthatetoseeanythingbadhappentoyou.”

Hetookaseatatthebarnexttome.Itwasaboldgesturegiventhateveryotherseatintheplacewas
empty.

“Whywouldanythingbadhappen?”hesaid.

“Well,youseemtobegettingideas.”

“Whatsortofideas?”

Ilookedaway.Hewastryingtogoadme.“YouknowwhatImean.”

Helookedrightatmewiththoseintenseeyes.Hisjawlookedlikeitwascutfrommarble.Iwantedtorub
myhandagainsttheshadowofhisstubble,justtofeelitsroughness.

“WhatifItoldyouIdon’tcarewhosegirlyouare?”

“What’sthatsupposedtomean?”

“Whatifyougotonmybikerightnow,androdebackwithmetoRioSecco?”

“Wolfwouldkillyou,”Isaid.

“Wolfcangofuckhimself.”

NoonespokethatwayaboutWolf.Wasthisatest?HadWolfsentthisguytoseehowI’drespond?I
wouldn’tputitpasthim.

“Whoareyou?”Isaid.

“Listen,I’mnotkidding.Icanseeyoudon’tlikethisshithole.Idon’tblameyou.Yourboyfriend’sscum.
You’retoogoodforhim.LosLobosareheartlessbastards.There’ssomethingbetter,andit’sjustaride
away.”

“Aseasyasthat?”Isaid.

“Sure.”

“We’dgobacktoyourplace?”

“Yeswewould.”

“Whatthen?”

“Thenwe’dfucklikerabbits.”

“Charming,”Isaid,butIwasn’tasunaffectedasIputon.

Mylipquiveredwithemotionthatseemedtorisefromnowhere.Itwasraw,amixtureofangerand
sorrow.Iwasn’tangryathim.IwasangryatthesituationIwasin,andthefactthatIcouldn’ttakehimup
onhisoffer,nomatterhowrighthewasaboutmylife.IwantedtocrybutIhelditin.

“Don’tthink,justdoit,”hesaid.“We’llbeinCaliforniabeforeWolfevenknowsyou’remissing.”

“Justdoit?”

“I’llshowyouwhatit’sliketobewitharealman.”

ForasecondIlostit.Islappedhimacrosstheface.Thatsurprisedhim.Ithadseeminglycomefrom
nowhere.Wheredidhegetoff?DidhehonestlythinkI’dthrowmyselfathimforsayingsomethinglike
that?EvenifIcould?Hewasinsane.Iputforceintothatslap,reallyhithimhard.Iknewithurt.

“Whatwasthatfor?”

“Don’teverspeaktomelikethat.I’mnotperfect,buttheleastIdeserveisrespect.Youdon’tevenknow
me.”

“Don’tI?”hesaid,tryingtolightenthemoodagain,butIwasn’thavingit.

“Fuckyou,”Isaid.

Iwasbeingunfair.Iwasblaminghimforallthatwaswronginmylife.ThroughhisshirtIcouldseethe
tattoosinkedintohisskin.Theywereintricateandsosexyonhisperfectchest.Iprayedhecouldn’ttell
howattractedtohimIwas.

“Look,IknowWolf.IknowLosLobos.Iknowhowtheytreattheirwomen.”

“Youdon’tknowshitaboutme.”

“Everythingdoesn’thavetobethewayWolfsaysitis.Noteveryone’safraidofhimandhiscocksucker
friends.”

“They’rekillers.”

“They’renottheonlykillers.”

“Oh,that’ssupposedtomakemefeelbetter?Leaveonecriminaltogetinbedwithanother?”

“Nowyou’retalking,”hesaid.

Hemademesoangry.Thiswasmylife,andhewastreatingmelikesomerandompickupinabar.I
supposetohimIwas.

“Andwhatthen?”Isaid.“Afteryou’redonewithme?Afteryou’vehadyourwaywithmeandI’vegiven
youeverythingyouwant?Whatthefuckthen?”

“Thenwegetmarried.Makebabies.Whitepicketfence.”

Islappedhimagain,harderthanthefirsttime.Itwassohardmyhandstung.Itookpleasurefromthefact
hischeekreddened.

Heshookhishead.I’dangeredhim.

Iwaswearingacheapnecklace,aheartpendantonasilverchain,andhegrabbeditinhisfistandyanked
it.Thechainsnappedandheputitinhispocket.Whatthefuckwasthatsupposedtomean?Thathe’d
stolenmyheart?Hehadn’tstolenshit.

“You’recruel,”Isaid.

“MaybeIam,butImeanteverywordIsaidtoyou.”

“Givememychainback.”

“Iwill,somedayfarinthefuture,whenyoudon’tevenrememberIhaveit.”

Iwasgoingtocry,andIdidn’twanthimtosee.Ididn’tevenknowwhy.Thisguywasaprimoasshole.
Hewastoyingwithmyemotions,pushingmybuttons.Heshouldhaveknownbetter.Heshouldhave
knownIwastrapped.Youdon’twalkuptoaslaveandaskthemtogoforawalk.It’snotfair.

Istormedoutofthebar.Assoonasthedoorslammed,Iburstintotears.Fuckhim.Howdareheplaywith
melikethat.Talkischeap.WhereIcomefrom,youeithergiveagirlwhatsheneeds,oryoushutthefuck
up.

Youdon’tgettotalkthetalkandnotdoanythingaboutit.

Hecouldkeeptheshittychain.Twentybuckswouldgetmeanewone.

Inthecomingweeks,Iforcedmyselftopushhimfrommymind.Andyet,nothingwasthesameafterthat.

Daysturnedtoweeksandthenmonths,andWolftreatedmeworseandworse.

Ididn’tevenknowthenameofthejackassfromthebar,butIcouldn’tforgethim.Icouldn’tforgetthat
therewassomeoneouttherewiththeballstosay,‘FuckWolfStaten.’

Andifhecouldsayit,whythehellcouldn’tI?

C H A P T E R 2

J A C K S O N

Thedayofmyfather’sfuneral.

Ialwaysknewitwouldbeaviolentdeath.WhatIhadn’tcountedonwasithavingsuchanimpactonme.
Itshookmeup,broughtmefacetofacewithmyownmortality.Iwasanonlyson,thelastoftheline,
everythingwouldendwithme.Thatdidn’tsitright.

Iwasoutonthehighway,headedtotheLosLoboshangout.Ihatedmeetingthoseguys.Theywerenasty,
andtheyhadnocluehowtolive—nocluehowtobemen.I’dseenthewaytheylockeduptheirwomen,
terrifiedthem,turnedthemintoslaves.Therewasnohonorinthat.

LosLoboswasasyndicateoftwelvegrade-Aassholes.Theywerekillers,drug-runners,human-
traffickers.Alltwelvedeservedtobeputintheground.ThefactthatIwasdoingbusinesswiththem
mademesicktomystomach.

IwasbuyinginformationfromthemfortheBrotherhood.Thatwasmygroup.Myfamily.Fourgrade-A
assholes,butnotlikeLosLobos.Weweredifferent.Westolemoney,butwedidn’thurtpeople.That’sa
subtledistinctiontomostpeople,buttousitwasreal.

Peoplethinkallcriminalsarethesame.They’renot.Callmebiased,butIlovedtheothermembersofthe
Brotherhoodasiftheyweremyrealbrothers.Theywererealmen.Menyoucouldtrust,menwho’ddo
whatneededtobedonewhenthechipsweredown.

Atsundownitstartedtorain.IwasonalonelystretchbetweenRenoandCarsonCityandtheglowofa
vacancylightcalledtomelikeabeacon.

Iwalkedintothemotelbarwithonethingonmymind—gettingfuckedup.It’snoteverydaytheybury
yourdaddy.

Certainnightsinyourlifearedifferentfromtheothers.Theforceofdestinyweighsonyou.Everything
thathappenedbeforeseemstohaveledtothatfatefulmoment.Everythingafterisaconsequence.

Thiswasoneofthosenights.Icouldfeelitinmybones.Ican’tsayIwasparticularlyclosetomyfather,
buthisdying,ittookthegroundoutfromunderme.ItmademerealizeIhadn’tyetachievedthemost
importantthinginlife.Iwasriskingeverythingonadailybasis,butIhadn’tplantedtheseedofthenext
generation.

Iwassoakedfromtherainbutdidn’tcare.Itookaplaceatthebarandslappedmyglovesandhelmeton
theseatnexttome.

“WhatcanIgetyou,cowboy?”thebartendersaid.

Ilookedaroundtheroom.Itwasadingyplace.Nottoomanycustomers.

“Yougotsugarbackthere?”Isaid.

Henodded.

“I’llhaveabourbonwithsugar.Thewaytheoldmanusedtodrinkit.”

“Icanmakeyouanoldfashioned,”hesaid.

“No.Justthebourbonandsugar.”

Heputashotglassinfrontofme.Idowneditinasinglemotionandaskedforanother.AsIdownedthe
next,thedoorslammedbehindme.Iturned.

Inwalkedtrouble.

C H A P T E R 3

J A C K S O N

Itwasagirl,littlemorethanakid,soakedtotheskin,makeuprunningdownherfaceinlong,black
streaks.Shecutatragicfigure—adrownedkitten—desperationwrittenalloverher.

Therewassomethingfamiliarabouther,andthenIremembered.Afewmonthsearlier,theLosLobosbar,
shewasWolfStaten’sgirl.Instantly,Icouldseewhatwasgoingon.Shewasontherun.

She’dactuallydoneit.She’dtakenherlifeintoherownhands.Shewasfleeingthemostsavagegroupof
menI’devercomeacross.

AndhowdidIreact?I’lltellyou.

Mycockstiffened.

I’mnotashamedtoadmitit.IwantedthisgirlbadlysincethatfirsttimeIseteyesonher.Itwasn’tany
normallust,itwasahunger.Ihadtohaveher.She’dinvadedmyfantasiesandIcouldn’tgetherbackout.
ItwasmonthssinceourfirstmeetinginthatbarinReno,andIcravedher.

Istaredather.

Twenty-fourhours.

That’showlongIgaveituntilWolfcaughtup.She’dbedeadbysundownthenextdayifIdidn’thelp.
TherewasnowayinhellLosLoboswouldletawomanlikeherescapethem.They’dmakeitamatterof
pride,andletmetellyousomethingaboutthecriminalunderworldIinhabit—thebiggertheasshole,the
greaterthepride.

Sheneededhelp,andwhoevergotinvolvedwouldpayaheftyprice.TwelvemembersofLosLobos,all
killers,allmeanasfuck.

Ilookedathermorecloselyandfuck,ifshedidn’ttakemybreathaway.Lightbrownhair,bigblueeyes,a
mouthmadeforpleasure.

Shewalkedstraighttothebar,andwhenshespoke,itwasliketherestoftheworldwentsilent.

“Bartender,”shesaid,“abeer.”

Thebartender’seyeswidenedwhenhesawher.“Miss,areyouallright?”

“Whywouldn’tIbe?”

“Youlook—”

“What?”shesaid,hereyesteady.

Heshruggedandgotherabeer.

Shepickedupthebottle,broughtittoherlips,andwhensheslammeditbackonthebaritwasempty.I
wasimpressed.Shedranklikeshemeantit.

Hersoakingdresswascompletelysee-through.Mydickpulsedwithdesire.Iwasn’tgoingtoletherslip
throughmyfingersthistime.Evenasshestoodatthebar,shiveringfromthecold,IpromisedmyselfI’d

fuckher.I’ddominateher.I’dbecomehermaster.

Shelookedupandcaughtmyeye.Inoddedtoherandtoldthebartendertogiveheranotherdrink.

“Thanks,”shesaid.

“Youseemlikeyoucoulduseit.”

Shelookedbackatme,achallengeinhereye,butshetookaswigfromthebottleallthesame.Shewas
actingtough,Iadmiredthat,butitwasclearshewasintrouble.Shewasrunningoutoftime,andshe
knewit.WhenWolfandhiscocksuckerfriendstrackedherdown,bye-byebirdie.

“Iknowyou,”shesaid.

“Yes,youdo.”

“You’retheassholethattriedtopickmeupinWolf’sbar.”

Ilaughed.Shehadn’tlostanyofherspunk.

“Ididn’ttrytopickyouup,”Isaid.“IfIremembercorrectly,youweresouptightonlyafoolwouldhave
triedthat.”

“Exactly,”shesaid,smirking.

“Oh,soI’mafool?”

“Well,youtriedsomething.”

Inodded.I’dgiveherthat.“MaybeIdid,”Isaid.“MaybeIdid.”

Acoysmilecrossedherlips.“Andnowyou’rebackformore.”

Ilaughed.“Right.Icameherelookingforyou,”Isaid,sarcastically.

“Well,you’rehere.”

“Iwasherefirst.”

“Noyouweren’t.Iwatchedyoucomein.”

“Youwatchedme?”

“Fromtheparkinglot.”

“Well,aren’tyoufullofsurprises?”Isaid.

Shelookedintomyeyesandlickedhertantalizinglips.Well,fuckme,butshewasmakingamove.She
wastryingtoplayme.Ihadtoadmirethat.SheknewwhatitwouldtaketoescapeWolf,andshewas
willingtopaytheprice.Thereweren’talotofpeoplewillingtoacceptrealitywhenitcametosituations
liketheoneshewasin.

Well,ifshewasgoingtoplayme,itwouldn’tcomeeasy.GettingamanmixedupwithWolfStatenwas
nosmallfeat.

“Lasttimewemet,Ipromisedyouwe’dfucklikerabbits,”Isaid.“Now,hereyouare.”

Shelookedhurt.Shedidn’tlikewhenIspokelikethat.Sheputherdrinkdownandwalkedstraightback
tothedoorshe’denteredthrough.Herhandwasontheknob.IfIdidn’tsaysomethingfast,she’dwalk

rightout.

“Wait,”Isaid.“Don’tgo.Ishouldn’thavesaidthat.”

“That’stwiceyou’vesaidthattome,likeI’mnothingmorethanafifty-dollarslutlookingtogetfucked.”

“You’reright.Iwasoutofline.Youhadeveryrighttoslapmelasttime.”

Shelookedrelieved.Iwascuttinghersomeslack,whichwaswhatsheneeded.Shecamebacktoher
seat.

“Lasttimewemet,youwereamassivedick,”shesaid.

“Iknow,”Isaid.“Ican’thelpit.Iwasbornwithit.”

Sheshookherhead.God,Icouldhavediedlookingintothoseeyes.Shewaslikeanangelfromheaven.

“Youjustcan’tstopyourself,canyou?”

Ishookmyhead.

Shesighed.Thenshesaid,mostlytoherself,“sizeisn’teverything.”

Ilaughed.Icouldn’tbelieveit.“Wasthatajoke?Wasthatajokefromthegirlwhosmackedtheshitoutof
melasttimewemet?”

Sheblushed.God,shelookedprettywhensheblushed..

“Youwereaskingforit.”

“Yes,Iwas,”Isaid.“Andyoudidn’thaveanytroubledishingitout.”

Sheshrugged.“Icangiveyoumoreifyouwant.”

“Pleasedon’t.ThisfaceisallI’vegotgoingforme.”

Shelookedmeover,takinginmyleathers,mywethair.

“I’msureit’snottheonlything.”

Ilaughedagain.Shewasworkingit.Don’tthinkforasecondIdidn’tknowexactlywhatwasgoingon.
Thethingwas,Iwantedtogetplayedbyher.

“What’syourname?”Isaid.

“Youfirst,”shesaid.

Ishookmyhead.Thepoorthing.Shehadnoideawhatshewasgettinginto.Shewaslikealambtothe
slaughter.She’djustescapedWolf.Littledidsherealize,shewastanglingherselfwithamonsterten
timesworse.

BelievemewhenItellyou,whatevershewasrunningfrom,whateverWolftriedtoforcehertodo,I
wouldmakeitlooklikechild’splay.ThethingsIwantedtodotoher,she’dcryoutformercy,she’d
screammyname,andthemoreshebegged,theharderI’dcome.

IfitwasWolf’sbedroomanticsshewasfleeing,shewasinforarudeawakening.Iwasapiston-fired,
turbo-charged,orgasmmachine.Iout-fuckedaherdofstallions.Iout-pumpedalocomotive.Ifshecame
tomehopingformercy,shewouldn’tfindany.

Shethoughtshewasplayingme?Please.

ShehadsomethingIwanted,andIwasgoingtohaveit.

Iputmydrinkdown.

“Myname’sJackson,”Isaid.“JacksonJones.”

“JacksonJones?”

“Jackson-motherfucking-Jones,”Irepeated,grinning.

Shesmiled,andIsweartherewasahintofseductioninthoselips.

“I’vegotaquestionforyou,Jackson-motherfucking-Jones.”

Shecouldaskanythingsheliked.AllIcouldthinkofwasbendingheroverthecounterandslidingmy
barecockinsideher,fillingherwithmyhotsemen.

Iwantedtofillhersofullofmycomeitwoulddripdownherlegsforweeks.Iwantedskintoskin,full
contact,wetorgasm.Iwantedtoputababyinsideher.Andinexchangeformyhelp,shewasgoingtolet
me.

“Whatisit?”Isaid.

Shehesitated.Shewasscared.Icouldtellshe’dbeencrying.Ifeltapangofpityforher,butthedesire
floodingmyveinswasstronger.

“Lasttime,yousaidyoudidn’tgiveafuckaboutWolfStaten.”

“Iremember.”

“Well,myquestionis,didyoumeanthat?”

Iletoutalittlelaugh.Mywordswerecomingbacktohauntme.I’dplayeditcockyandnowshewas
callingmeonit.

“Thatdepends,”Isaid.

“Onwhat?”

“Onwhat’sinitforme.”

Shelookeddeeplyintomyeyesasiftryingtoreadmysoul.Shewasonthevergeoftears.Sheneededmy
helporshewasdead.Webothknewit.Ithadtakenalotforhertoaskmyhelp,shewasaproudwoman
andIrespectedherforthat.

ButIwouldn’thelpherforfree.That’snotthewayitworked.Ineededsomethingfromher,andIneeded
hertoofferit.

“Wellthen,”shesaid,“IguessIhaveonemorequestionforyou.”

“Askwhatyouwant.Believeme,I’vegotnothingtohide.”

Shelookedintomyeyes.“Areyouagoodman,JacksonJones?”

Itwasn’tagame.Itwasaseriousquestionandshemeantit.Herlifedependedonit.Ilookedaroundthe
bar.Thebartenderwascleaningglasses.Theotherpatronshadscarcelynoticedher.

“Noone’severaccusedmeofbeingagoodman.”

“Butyouknowtheanswer,”sheinsisted.“Deepdown,youknow.Ifyouweretodietoday,whatwould
peoplesay?Wouldtheysayyouweregood?”

Ilookedintothosedeep,sapphireeyes.Theywerehypnotizing.Shehadastrangepoweroverme,aforce
ofattractionthatwasotherworldly.Maybeitwasbecausedeathwasonmymind,mortality.Idon’tknow,
butsomethingaboutherfeltsurreal,likeshe’dbeensentfromanotherworld.

Asmyeyesdrankherin,aburningragecoursedthroughmelikemoltenmetal.Iwantedtoownher,to
dominateher,tomakehermine.Myproperty.

Iwantedtoplungemycocksodeepinsidehershe’dnevereventhinkofanothermanagain.Iwantedher
toremembermynametoherdyingday.Iwantedtoruinherforallothers.Itshockedmehowviolentmy
passionforherwas.I’dneverfeltthatforanyone.

Thesimplicityofherquestionmademeanswerhonestly.

“AllIcantellyou,”Isaid,“isthatforallthebadI’vedone,Inevermeantanyharm.”

Itwasn’tlikemetosaythat.She’ddisarmedme.Inevergaveanyoneaglimpseofmytrueself.Itwasyet
anothersurprise.

Shenodded,asifitwastheanswershe’dbeenseeking.Shesmiled,anditbrokemyhearttoseethat
smile.Shehadthefaceofanangel,andIwasgoingtoruinher.

Iwantedtoknowwhathadhappenedtoher.Thedetails.WhathadWolfandLosLobosdonethatshe’d
finallymadearunforit?I’dkillthem,alltwelveofthem,ordietrying.Shedidn’tknowityet,butI’d
alreadymadeupmymind.

Andthenshesaidit,thosefourwordsI’dbeenwaitingmyentirelifetohear.Ididn’tevenknowituntilI
heardthem.

“Willyouhelpme?”

I’lltellyourightnow,therearemomentsinmylifeIalwaysknewwouldcome.Evenasaboy,Iknewmy
destinywouldleadtothis,aforkintheroad,wherethedecisionImadewoulddecidethemanIwasto
be.Everythingelseinmylifewouldfadeincomparisontotheimportanceofthisquestion.

IfIsaidyes,itwouldmeantheendofme.Instinctively,Icheckedthegunatmyhip.LosLobos,The
Wolves.EveryoneofthemwouldhuntmedownuntilIwasdead.

Itwouldonlyendinoneway.

AndIdidn’tcare.I’dgiveherwhatsheneeded.Ihadto.Butshe’dgivemewhatIneededtoo.Alifefora
life.

“I’llwarnyourightnow,”Isaid,“anyhelpfrommewon’tcomefree.BadthingswillhappenifIget
involved.You’llregretit.Isweartoyou.”

“Willyouhurtme?”shesaid.

Iwantedtotellhersomethingdifferent.IwantedtotellherIwasthemanshedeserved,someonewho
wouldsaveherandasknothinginreturn.IwantedtosayI’dtakeherawaytoalifeofhappinessand
safety.Iwantedtotellhershe’dhaveeverythingshedeserved.ButIcouldn’t.Iwasalotofthings,butI

wasnoliar.

“I’lldestroyyou,”Isaid.“I’lltaketheonethingyou’vegottogive,andI’lldrinkituplikeadesertdrinks
therain.I’llravageyouuntilyoubegmetostop.Andthen,justwhenyouthinkyoucan’ttakeanymore,
I’llravageyouagain.”

I’dgivenherfairwarning.Ifshestillwantedmyhelp,itwasonhernow.I’dtoldherI’dtakeeverything
shehad.ButIhadn’ttoldhertheonethingIwantedmost.Ihadn’ttoldhershe’dgivemeason.

Shelookedatme.Shelookedaroundthebar.Sheturnedandlookedbackatthedoor,weighingthe
alternative.Thensheanswered.

“Idon’thaveachoice,”shesaid.“Youcantakewhatyouwant.Youcanusemetothelastdrop.Justhelp
me.”

“Allright,”Isaid.“Butwhenthedustsettles,rememberitwasyouwhocametome.”

“I’llremember.”

“AndIwarnedyou.”

“Iwon’tforget.”

“YouaskedifI’magoodman.Thetruthis,I’mnot.”

C H A P T E R 4

F A I T H

WhatI’mabouttotellyou,itisn’tpretty.

CanIadequatelyexplainit?No.

CanIputitinawaythatwillmakemecomeacrossasanythingotherthanacompletewhore?Idoubtit.

Butthetruthismoreimportantthanperceptions,andthetruthiswhathappenedtome,thedecisionsthat

ledtothatfatefulnight,andtheconsequencesI’llhavetolivewithfortherestofmylife.

So,thetruth.

Thetruthis,I’dbeenstandinginthatmotelparkinglotforoveranhourwhenJacksonpulledin.AllI

knewwasthatIwasstillinNevada,andthatwasn’tfarenough.

ItwasrainingandIwassoakedtotheskin.Iwasshivering.Ihadnowheretogo,noonetoturnto.Itook

shelterunderabigtreeandIwaited.

I’dknowhimwhenIsawhim—that’swhatItoldmyself.Ijusthadtowait.Godwouldhelpme.Hehad

to.

AndallIhadtodowasthrowawayeverythingI’deverhopedfor,sacrificemyselfonthealtaroffate,

andprayIdidn’tgetintosomethingevenworsethanthelifeIwastryingtoescape.

Itsoundscrazy,andmaybeitwas,butuntilyou’reinthatsituation,youcan’tunderstandthefearthatled

metothatparkinglot.

WolfStatenwasapowerfulman.Aruthlessman.Hemadetherules,andmyjobwastoobey.Earlierthat

night,he’dtoldmehewasgoingtolockmeupinasecretapartmentofhisvilla.Noonebuthimwould

everlookatmeagain.Hesaiditwasbecausehelovedmesomuch,becauseIwassoprecioustohim.

Andapartofmewantedtobelievehim.AsagirlI’dalwaysdreamedofbeingsomeone’sprincess,of

beingsodesiredbyamanthathecouldn’tbearthethoughtofothermenlookingatme.

ButmylifewithWolfwasn’tthat.Thewayhetreatedmewasnotthewayaprincetreatedaprincess.The

longerIstayed,theworseitgot.Thejealousyandpossessivenesseclipsedallelse.Theviolencefinally

knockedrealityintome.

Therewasnoroomforloveinthatplace.Evenlockedinsideaprison,he’dfindreasonstopunishme,to

brutalizeme.AndifIeverhadhischild,thatbaby’slifewouldbealivinghell.

That’swhatgavemethecouragetotakemylifeintomyownhands.Scarcelytwohoursearlier,Islipped

outofthepartyhethrewinmyhonor.Itwassupposedtobemyfarewelltotheworld,thelasttimeanyone

buthimwouldeverseeme.

Fuck.That.

Fuckallofthem.

Everyoneatthatparty,alltwelvemembersofLosLobos,allourso-calledfriends,knew.Andnoneof

themevenbattedaneye.Noneofthemraisedafinger.Infact,theyapprovedofit.SuchwaslifewithLos

Lobos.

I’dheardrumorsofthemenlockingawaytheirfamilies,treatingtheirwomenlikeprisonersandslaves.

I’drefusedtobelieveit.NowIknewitwastrue.Wolfwantedmetolivetherestofmylifeina

windowlessbunker.

LikeIalreadysaid.Fuck.That.

WhenIfledthemountaintopvilla,IhadnoideawhereIwasgoing.Iranthroughtheforestlikeadeer

huntedbydogs.Ifellontherocks.Isliddownthegullies.AndwhenIreachedthehighway,Ididn’tcare

whopickedmeup.Ididn’tcarewhatdirectiontheywereheaded.Ididn’task.Ijustclimbedinandsat

silently.Iwouldgoanywhere,withanyone.Nothingcouldbeasbadasthelifeplannedforme.

LosLoboswasnotanicegangtobemixedupwith.Theyearntheirlivelihoodoffthepainandsuffering

ofothers.Theyweretheworstkindofcriminals.AndthefactIwasdatingtheirleaderwasnoone’sfault

butmyown.Itwasmyowndeeds,myownmistakes,thatgotmeintothatplace.Anditwouldbemyown

decisionsthatwouldgetmeout.That’swhyIdecidedtodoanythingthatneededtobedonetoescape.

Anything.

SlippingintotheclutchesofLosLoboshadbeensosimple.AndonceIwasin,therewasnowayback

out.I’dseenthewarningsigns.I’drealizedmymistakelongbefore.Wolfcheatedonme,beatme,

routinelydegradedandhumiliatedmeinfrontofhisgangmembers.Herobbedmeofallpower,silenced

myvoice,andwhenhefoundoutIwantedtoleave,hebuiltaconcretecompoundtokeepmeprisoner.

Untilthatnight.ThenightIbrokefree.Icouldn’tchangethepast,butIcouldchangethefuture.

Withinhoursofmakingmydecision,Iwasoutsidethemotel.Ididn’thaveapennytomyname,no

clothes,nobelongings,noplan.ItwasonlyamatteroftimebeforeWolf’shenchmenfoundmeandforced

mebacktothehelloftheirworld.Icouldfeelmychanceatfreedomslippingawaywitheverysecond

thatpassed.

Indesperation,IdecidedtodotheonlythingIcoulddo.Ithrewmyselfatthemercyoffate.Iopened

myself,mademyselfvulnerable,andletGoddecidetheoutcome.

Iaskedforthehelpofastranger.

AllIneededwasonegoodman.Onemanwhowaswillingtostandupforme.Hedidn’thavetofight

Wolf.Hejusthadtohelpmeescape,givemearidetothecity,orbetteryet,theborder.I’dgivehim

everythingheaskedinreturn.Therehadtobeamanwillingtodothat.Andiftherewasn’t,sobeit.Let

medie.AtleastI’ddiefighting.

Anumberofmenwalkedinandoutofthebar.Truckers,pullinginfromthehighwayafteralonghaul,or

workers,lookingforabeerafteralongshift.Otherslookedlikedrifters,gamblers,criminals,ornothing

atall.

Theywereallmen,andIdidn’tknowwhattomakeofthem.Whichofthemwouldhelpme?HowwouldI

choose?

IthoughtI’dknowwhenIsawhim,butIwasbeginningtohavedoubts.Whatiftherewasnoone?

Ihadonlyonethingtooffer.There’sonlyonethingmenwantfromawomaninmyposition.Butwhatif

theydidn’twantme?Whatiftheyrejectedme?

Maybethatwouldbeforthebest.GivingupmybodywentagainsteverythingIbelieved,everythingIheld

sacred.Theonlythingthatmademeevenconsiderit,wasthethoughtofalifeofslaveryatthehandsof

WolfStaten.Ifthepriceoffreedomwasmybody,Iwouldpay.

Andthenhearrived.Herolledintothelotonamotorcycleasifchasedbythedevilhimself.Ionlygota

briefglimpse,butIsawenoughtoknowhewasthemanIwaslookingfor.Muscularbuild,tattoosonhis

armsandchest,ashadowofstubble.Hewasfiercelyhandsome,butthatwasn’tevenoneofmycriteria.I

couldn’taffordtobepicky.ThatwasaluxuryIdidn’thave.WhatIwaslookingforwasarealman.A

manwhowoulddowhatneededtobedone,whateverthatwas.

Thewaythisguywalked,theconfidenceinhisstride,thedeterminationonhisface,toldmeI’dfoundmy

man.

Andtherewassomethingelse.I’dseenhimbefore.Iremembereditinstantly.He’dtauntedme,

challengedme,andtoldmehedidn’tgiveashitaboutWolfStaten.

Now,allIhadtodowasgothroughwithit.

Ihadtoruinmyself,offerupmybody,throwawaymybeliefs,riskmylife.

Noproblem,right?

C H A P T E R 5

J A C K S O N

WhatchancedidIhave?

Mycockragedforherpussy.Shewasanimagefrommyownsecretfantasies.Iwantedtopinchmyself
justtocheckIwasn’tdreaming.Icouldn’thavedesignedabettercreatureformyseduction.

Herblueeyesseemedtodrinkmein.Iachedforher.Thisbeautiful,delicatecreaturewasgoingtobe
mine.Shewasstraightupofferingherself.

Agift.

Iwasgoingtopossessher,bodyandsoul,andfilltheemptinessofmylifewithsomethingbeautiful—
somethingterrible,andtragic,andheavenly.

Sheneededhelp—realhelp.Thekindofhelpthatcouldgetamankilled.Sheneededme.

Buttherewassomethingelse.

Ineededher.Ineededherlikemylifedependedonit.

Littledidsheknow,butIwasgoingtotakemorefromherthansheeverdreamed.Shesaidshe’dgiveme
everything.IfonlysheknewwhatIhadinmind.Whateverpriceshethoughtshewaspaying,shewas
wrong.Shewouldn’tjustbemineforthenight,shewouldbemineforever,inwaysshecouldn’timagine.

“Soyou’verunoutonWolf?”Isaid.

Shenodded.

“It’snotgoingtobeeasytogetawayfromhim.”

“Iknow.”

“TherestofLosLoboswilljointhehunt.”

“WhatchoicedoIhave?”shesaid,heremotionrisingtothesurface.

“Relax.Youdidtherightthing.Youcan’tliveyourlifeunderthethumbofamanlikethat.”

“Ijustcouldn’ttakeitanymore,”shesaid,tearsfillinghereyes.

“It’sallright,”Isaid.“Doyouhaveaplan?”

“Iwasgoingtorunfortheborder.I’llfiguresomethingonceI’macross.”

“Youdon’tknowwhereyou’llgo?”

“Idon’thaveanywhere.”

“Doyouhaveanymoney?”

Sheshookherhead.

“That’saterribleplan,”Isaid.“Youwon’tgetfaratall.He’llfindyou.”

“That’snotyourproblem.Justdrivemetotheborderandforgetallaboutme.You’llhaveeverythingyou
wantfrommebythen.”

“WillI?”

“Youwantwhateverymanwants,right?”

Shepulledherskirtuponherthigh,givingmethetiniestglimpseoftheblacksatinofherpanty.

Shewasatorment.Fuck,mycockwantedthatpussy.Itthrobbedandcrushedagainstmyjeans.Ihadto

adjustmyposition.

Icouldtellthisdidn’tcomenaturallytoher.Shehatedwhatshewasdoing,barteringherpussyforhelp.
Butshewaspayingforfreedom,andIrespectedthat.Theworldwasfullofpeoplewhoacceptedtheir
fatewithoutafight.Shewasn’toneofthem.

“MaybeIwantmorethanthat,”Isaid.

“Whateveryouwant,you’llbedonewithmebythetimewereachtheborder.”

“Idon’tthinkso.”

“Whatareyoutalkingabout?”

“IfyouknewwhatIwantedfromyou,you’drunfrommetoo.”

“Itcan’tbeasbadaswhatWolfwants.”

“You’retellingmeIcanhavewhateverIwant,butthat’sonlybecauseyou’redesperate.Whenitcomes
timetopaytheprice,youmightregretwhatyou’vebartered.”

“Andyou’llmakemepayeverypenny?”

“Whenthedancing’sdone,thefiddleralwaysgetshispay.”

Shestartedtocry.“Look,I’mnotheretobargain.Ineedyourhelp.IfWolffindsme,he’lldestroyme.
Youcaneitherhelpmeoryoucanleavemehereforhim.I’llgiveyouwhateverIhave.Idon’tcarewhat
youwant.Takeitandhelpme,orstopwastingmytime.Iwon’tgobacktoLosLobos.I’lldiefirst.”

Iwassilentforamoment.Ilookedather,tookinthedetails.WhatwasIdoing?I’vetakenalotofthings
frompeopleinmylife,butneversomethinglikethis.Iusuallytakefromthosewhocanaffordtogive,and
Itakemoney,notsomethingpersonal.Notsomethingvital.

ButI’mathiefatheart,abandit,andIwantedthiswoman’sbody,allofit,morethanI’deverwanted
anythingelseintheworld.

“Stopcrying,”Isaid.“I’llgetWolfoffyourback.”

“How?”

“Leavethattome.”

“Andwhatabouthisgang?LosLobosisabrutalpackofkillers.”

“Allmenarebrutalkillers,”Isaid,“orhavethepotentialtobe.”

Shelookedatme.ItwasthefirsttimeshetrulysawmeforwhoIwas.Fearcrossedhereyes.Imeantmy
words.Brutalkiller.Shecouldseeit.

“Whatifyoudie?”shesaid.

Ispreadmyhandsinagestureofhelplessness.“IfIdie,Idie.”

“What’sthatsupposedtomean?”

“Itmeansyou’llhavealreadyfulfilledyourpartofthebargain.Inreturnforthat,I’mwillingtogiveyou
mylife.”

Shenodded.“Andthisarrangement,whatexactlyisit?WhatamIofferinginreturnforyourhelp?You

keepsayingI’llregretit,butyoudon’tsaywhatitis.”

Ididn’tlikeforcingherintothisposition,thishorriblechoice.Shedeservedbetter,butIwastheonlyone
there,theonlyonewhocouldprotecther.Weneededeachother.

“It’severything,”Isaid.“That’sallIcantellyou.”

Shelookedatmeagain,assessingme,tryingtodecidewhatsortofdevilshewasmakingthispactwith.

“Allright,”shesaidatlast.“Let’sdoit.”

“Yousure?”

Shenodded.

Andaseasyasthat,we’dbothgivenourselvesuptofate.I’dtakenonafightIcouldn’twinandinreturn,
withoutevenrealizingit,she’dofferedmethechildIwanted.Iknewjustbylookingather,she’dbea
goodmothertoit.Somethingsyoucantellatasingleglance.

“DoesWolfhaveanyideawhereyouare?”Isaid.

“Idon’tevenknowwhereIam.”

“Allright,”Isaid.“I’mtakingyoutooneoftherooms.”

“Okay,”shesaid.Onelookinhereyestoldmeshemeantit.

Ibeckonedthebartender.

“Yourenttherooms?”

Henodded.

“Weneedone.”

“Sure,”hesaid.“They’refiftyforthehour.Ahundredforthenight.”

Ileftahundred-twentyonthebar,grabbedherhand,andledthewayouttotherain.Wewerebothsoaked
anyway.Ourroomwasacrossthelot.Weran.

C H A P T E R 6

J A C K S O N

Iopenedthedoorandshehurriedinside.Shewasnervous.Shewasn’tusedtothissortofthing.Itonly
mademehotterforher—hertightlittleassinthatwetdress—hersweet,plumpbreasts,burstingagainst
herlow-cutneckline—thedeliciouspussyIknewwaswaitingforme.

Ilookedather.

Therewasawindowbythedoorandshepulledasidethecurtaintopeerout.

“Youlookingforhim?”

Sheshookherhead.

“Hedoesn’tknowwheretofindme.Icouldhavegoneanywhere.”

Ilookedatherbutsaidnothing.Wewereonborrowedtime.Maybeitwouldbeamatterofhours,maybe
days,orweeks,ormonths,butsoonerorlater,LosLoboswouldcatchupwithus,andwhentheydid,it
wouldn’tbepretty.Whenthattimecame,IwouldmakesureIwastherealone.Iwouldmakesureshewas
safe.

Andeventhen,Iknewtherewasmoretothisthanjustourbargain.There’dbeenaconnection,anelectric
sexualtension,betweenussincethemomentwemet.Thesituationshewasin,themonthsthathadpassed
sinceourfirstencounter,didnothingtodampenthat.

HereyesweresobigIcouldhavemeltedinthem.Hermouthwasatoolforseduction.Theimageofher
lipswrappedaroundmythrobbingcockflashedbeforemyeyes.Ithoughtofmysemenpouringintoher
mouthanditmademeshiver.Iwassohungryforherithurt.Eventhemessofhermakeupturnedmeon.It
madethesituationmoreurgent,moredangerous.ItexcitedmeinawayIcan’tdescribe.

“PromisemeI’mgoingtobeallright,”shesaid.

SheknewthatwasmorethanIcouldguarantee,butInodded.

“I’llprotectyou,butyouhavetogiveyourselftomeinreturn,completelyandutterly,”Isaid.“That’smy
price.”

Shesatonthebedandpulledoffherpanties.

“I’myoursnow,”shesaid.

Shelaybackinherwetclothes,adrenchedmess.Mycockwassoharditwasreadytoexplodejust
lookingather.I’dneverseensuchaneroticsightinmylife.Thiswasit.ThiswasthewomanIwasgoing
topossessutterly.Thecertaintyofitoverwhelmedme.

“Yougotaname?”Isaid.

Shedidn’tevenlookatme.Sherolledontoherbelly,turningherbacktome.

Myheartskippedabeat.

Icouldseethebeginningofherass,thewetdresshikedupoverit.

“Openyourlegs,”Isaid.“Slowly.”

Shespreadthemwideopen,exposingherpussylikeapieceofripefruitwaitingtobepicked.

Itookoffmybikeleathers.MywetskinclungtothemandIcouldn’tgetthemofffastenough.

Shespokewithoutfacingme,hervoicefragile.

“Areyougoingtouseacondom?”

Ihadacondominmywallet,Ithoughtaboutitandagreedtoputiton.Therewouldbeplentyoftimelater
forwhatIwantedtodotoher.I’dgivehertimetogetusedtomefirst.

Shepulledherdressuphigher,exposingherentireassandpussy.Herbodytilted,exposingherselfso
seductivelythatadropofpre-cumfellfromthetipofmycock.Nomanalivecouldhaveresistedher.

“It’sokay,”shesaid.“Takewhatyouwant.”

“You’reminenow.”

Hervoicewasalmostawhisper.“Iknow,”shesaid.

Itwasabadidea.Godhelpme.

Thiswasdestiny,givingmealastchancetobethemanIwassupposedtobe.Myfatherhadjustdied.By
protectingthiswoman,Iwouldtakehisplace.

Iopenedmybeltbuckleandletmypantsfalltotheground.Irippedoffmywetshirt.Iwascompletely
naked.Mycockpointedtowardherlikeaviolentweapon.Shewasmyvictim.

Iclimbedontothebedandleaneddown,myfaceclosetoherpussy.Iwantedtosmellher,tasteher,savor
her.IwantedtoknowwhatI’djustpurchased.Iopenedmymouth,putmylipsonherclit,andsucked.

Shereactedpassionately,herbodysquirming.Thesoundofhermoanturnedmybloodtofire.Desire
surgedthroughmycocklikeaninferno.AhungercameovermeI’dneverexperienced.Itwasinsanity.All
Icouldthinkaboutwasfuckingthatpoorgirlsenseless.

Ifthemenchasingherburstthroughthedooratthatmomentandpointedagunatmyback,itwouldn’t
havestoppedme.IwasgoingtofinishwhatI’dstartedevenifitmeantdeath.Islidmytongueinsideher
creviceuntilitfoundtheopening.Thetastewasindescribable,unlikeanythingIeverimagined.

Shemoaned.“Jackson.”

Thewordswerelikeasecretcodethatspoketomycockalone.Itthrobbedwithlonging.IfIdidn’tget
insidehersoon,I’dexplode.

“Takeme,Jackson,”shemoaned.

Iputmyhandsonherwaistandpulledhertowardmycock.Herpussyarchedtowardme.

Iwantedtodrivemyshaftsofarinside,she’dnevereventhinkofanothermanagain.Andthenitstruck
me.Ididn’tknowhername.

Itouchedthesoakingwetlipsofherpussywiththepurpleheadofmyragingcock.

Shesquirmed.

Iputthefirstinchinsideherandpulledback.

“Putitinme,”shemoaned.“Alltheway.Fillme.”

Jesus.Doyouhaveanyideawhatitdidtometohearthosewords?ItwaslikethevoiceofGodtoa
monk.ItwasthesoundI’dbeenwaitingtohearmyentirelife,withoutknowingitexisted.OnlywhenI
hearditdidIrealizewhatitmeanttobeaman.

“Notuntilyoutellmeyourname,”Isaid.

“Mynamedoesn’tmatter.”

Ipushedthebulbousheadofmycockintoherhungrypussy,teasingher,andpulleditback.

“Tellmeyourname,”Isaidagain.

Sheletoutaquietwail.Wasshecrying?Ididn’tknow.Icouldn’tthinkofanythingbuttheforceofthelust
buildinginsideme.

“TellmeyournameorI’llspillmyselfonyourass,”Isaid.

“No,”shecried.“Iwantyouinsideme.”

“Thengivemeyourname.”

Shehesitated.Iranmyshaftthroughtheplump,ripecrackofherass.

“Allright,”shegasped.“Faith.FaithShepherd.”

MycockplungedintoFaithShepherd’spussyanditwentsodeepitscaredbothofus.I’dneverdreamedI
couldpushthatfarinsideawoman.Shereachedbackandgrabbedmywrists,pullingatthem,andIslidto
theverycoreofher.

Thesensationwasexcruciating.Itwaslikedippingmycockintoapoolofliquidpleasure.Herbody
suckedmein,deeperanddeeper,untilIcouldhardlybearit.

Ifeltathrob.Itstartedinmygroinandpulsedtothetipofmycocklikeasonicwave.

“Jesus,”Icried.

Ithappenedagain,onlystronger.

“I’mgoingtocome,”Icried,bitingmylip.Myhandsformedfiststhatclenchedherhipsmercilessly.

Shemoaned.“Doit,Jackson.”

Thefirstpulseoforgasmwaslikethepainofdeath.Myvisionblurred.Mymusclescontracted.The
pleasure,buildinglikesnowonamountainpeak,crashedovertheedgelikeanavalanche.Icriedout,
screaminghername.“Faith.”

Icamesoharditwaslikebeingkickedfrombehindbyawildhorse.MyseedshotintoherwithaforceI
didn’tbelievepossible.Thefirstspurtwasfollowedbyanother,andanother,flingingitselfintothe
condommercilessly,asiftryingtoescapeitandsoakherwithitspotency.Itwasthemostintense,
passionatethingI’deverexperienced.ItwastheorgasmIcompareallothersto.

Itwasastartlingfeeling.

“You’reminenow,”Isaid,andIdon’tknowifitwasmeorsomeforceofnaturespeakingthroughme.“I
claimyou.Youbelongtome,andmealone.”

C H A P T E R 7

F A I T H

Itdidn’tendwithJackson’sorgasm.Thatwasjustthebeginning.Thebeginningofthestoryofmylife.

Idon’tknowwhatpossessedme,butassoonasIapproachedhim,itwaslikeaforceofnaturetookover.
Everythingjusthappened.Hemademefeelvulnerable.Hemademewanttobehis.Iwantedhimto
dominatemeinwaysWolfStatenneverdreamedof.

Iknewthearrangementbetweenuswasbasedonneed.Iwasofferingmyselfsohewouldprotectme.I
washiswhore.

Buteventhen,Ifelttherewasmoretoit.I’dhavelethimfuckmeevenifIdidn’tneedhisprotection.And

maybeIwasfoolingmyself,butIsensedhewouldhaveofferedmehisprotectionevenifIhadn’tgiven
himmybody.

Hehadapoweroverme.Itwasstrange,butIwantedtobelongtohimsocompletelynoothermanwould
evertakemefromhim.Itwasananimalattractionthatdefiedlogic.

IwasgladIhadmybacktohimwhenhetookme.Andfuck,didhetakeme.Hetookmelikeawild,
stampedinghorse.Ididn’twanthimtoseemyface.Ididn’twanthimtoknowwhoIwas.Iwantedto
hide.Iwasafraidhe’dseethetruth.

ThetruththatIwantedhimaspassionatelyashewantedme.Thetruththatthemorehetook,themorehe
claimed,thedeeperIbelongedtohim.

I’dwantedJacksonsincethesecondhewalkedintotheLosLobosbar.NowthatIwasfinallyhis,itfelt
likeGodhadansweredmyprayers.WhetherornotwegotawayfromLosLobosdidn’tmatter.Theonly
thingIcaredaboutwasthatIwashis.

HethrusthimselfsoforcefullyintomeIthoughthe’dtearmeapart,andIlikedit.Iwantedhimtofuckme
harder.

Themomentofhisorgasmwascosmic.Itwaslikethosedocumentariesthatshowtheuniversebeing
formed,thebigbang,theexplosionthatcreatedeverything.That’swhatJackson’sorgasmwasforme.

Iswear,Ifelthiscockexplodeinaspasmofecstasy.Ifeltitfillthecondomwithaterrifyingforce.It
mademewanttocry.Iwantedthecondomtoburst.Iwantedhissemeninsideme.

Andthen,afterhecame,heflippedmeoversoIfacedhim.Hewasstillhungryforme.Icouldfeelthe
throbbinggirthofhisshaftagainstmythigh.

“Whateveryouwant,”Isaid.“Dowhateveryouwanttome.I’myoursnow,Jackson.”

Heleanedoverandlookeddeeplyintomyeyes.God,hewashandsome.Hehadthechiseledfaceofa
classicalstatue.Lovehadneverbeenpartofmyplan,butsuddenly,Iwantedhimtokissme.Hepulled
offmydressandbra.Iwasnakedbeforehiseyes,mybodyliterallyvibratingwithanticipation.

Itiltedmyheadbackandopenedmymouth,actingonrawinstinct.

Hemetmylipsandslidhisdelicioustongueintomymouth.Imoanedinpleasure.Tothisday,I’venever
kissedanothermanthewayhekissedmethatnight.Hebroughtchillstomyskin.

Hislipsmovedovermyneck,caressingme,slidingovermyripenipples.

“YourbodyislikesomethingIdreamt,”hewhispered,thenheclosedhislipsonmynippleandsucked.

Iarchedmyback.

Hismouthkeptgoingdown,overmynavel,myhips,andfinallytothetender,pinkfoldsofmyclit.

Whenhesucked,somethingwithinmeresponded.Hewasmymaster.Hehadcompletepossessionofme.
Oneflickofhistongue,oneglanceofhispiercingeyes,andthepleasuredeepinsidemefoughtfor
release.

Icriedout,“Jackson.”

We’dscarcelyspentanhourwitheachother,butalreadyIfeltlikehe’dknownmemyentirelife.

“Suckme,”Imoaned,andevenasIsaidit,Ifeltterrifiedhe’dtastehimselfonmypussy.

Hismouthsuckedmyclitandthesensationwasoverwhelming.Tendrilsofpleasureshotintomybody.I
wasgoingtoclimax,rightthere,hisfacesodeepinmypussytherewasnowheretohide.

Ithrewmylegsaroundhisheadandclenched.Hesucked,histongueflickingmyclitceaselessly,his
handsgrippingmyass,holdingmeinplace.Icouldn’tbearit.

Iconvulsed,theshockoforgasmhittingmelikeafreighttrain.Iscreamed.Thepleasurerushedthrough
melikeaNevadaflash-flood.

“Jackson,”Iscreamedastheorgasmwashedoverme,wavesofpleasureIfeltwouldneverend.

AndIknewit.IknewI’dsignedapactwiththedevil.

Therewouldbenobackingout,noescape.Mybodyknewit.Myheartknewit.Mysoulknewit.I
belongedtoJacksonJones.Theonlyquestion,waswhatwashegoingtodowithme.

BadBoyDaddy