WorthTheChance

WrittenbyStellaJames

Allrightsreserved

Nopartofthispublicationmaybereproduced,storedinaretrievalsystem,ortransmitted,inany

formorbyanymeanswithoutthepriorwrittenpermissionofthecopyrightowner.

Thisisaworkoffiction.Names,characters,placesandincidentsaretheproductoftheauthor ’s

imaginationorareusedfictitiously,andanyresemblancetoanyactualpersonslivingordead,events

orlocalesareentirelycoincidental.

IdedicatethisbooktoJW.

Althoughourlivesarenolongerconnected,Iwouldhavestayedwithhimalotlongerifithadn’t

beenforyou.Iwillneverforgetwhatyoudidforme.

Acknowledgments

Iwouldliketostartbythankingmyamazinghusbandwhosupportsmeineverywaypossible.I’ve

beenknownto“dabble”hereandthereinwhateverstrikesmyfancyatthetimeandhis

encouragementneverwaivers,nordoeshispatience.ThankyousomuchB,youarethebestthing

thatcouldhaveeverhappenedtomeandIamtrulythankfuleachandeverydaythatIgettocallyou

mine.Tomychildren,IneverknewwhattruelovewasuntilImeteachoneofyou.Youareso

beautifulandextraordinaryinyourownways,Iamanxioustoseewhatthefuturehasinstorefor

you.Don’teverbeafraidtotrysomethingnew.

IhavetothankthewomeninmylifewhomeansomuchtomethatIcouldneverimaginelifewithout

you.AllthreeofyoujoinedmeonthisterrifyingjourneyandIcannotthankyouenoughforyour

advice,criticismandunwaveringsupport.L,youaremyperson.YouarethepersonItellevery

deepdarksecrettoandIamsoverygratefulforyou.Tohaveafriendshiplikeoursisagiftpureand

simple.Iwouldnottradeonelaugh,onetearorone“WTF”foranythinginthisworld.Thankyou

foryoursupportandforyourhonesty.R,youarethepersonIwishIcouldbe.You’rethecalmand

relaxedbreezetomyhurricane.Whereyouarequiet,Iamlikeamegaphonethatdoesn’tknowhow

toshutoff.IwouldbelostwithoutyouandourmutuallyamazingtasteinTVshows.J,Idon’tthink

therehaseverbeenatimethatyouhaven’tencouragedme.YouarestrongandkindandIvalueour

mutualperversions…Ha!

ThankyouMelanieforansweringallmyquestionsandallowingmetofillyouinonallmy

progress.ForthelongesttimeyouweretheonlypersononthisplanetwhoknewthatIwaswriting

andyourencouragingwordsandadvicegavemethekickintheassthatIneeded,Iwillbeforever

grateful.

Lastbutcertainlynotleast,thankyoutoeveryonewhohastakenachanceonmyveryfirstbook.I

hopethatyouenjoyitandIhopethatyouwillcontinuetoreadmywork.Asanavidreadermyself,I

knowwhatitisliketogetcaughtupincharactersandplacesandeverythinginbetweenthatanauthor

creates.Ihopethatyoufindsomethinginmybookthatyoucanconnectwith.

-Stellaxox

TableofContents

Prologue

Chapter1

Prologue

2yearsago

MynameisAnnemarie,andIamnoone.Iamaghostofmyformerself,mindlesslydrifting

throughlifewithbruisedskinandabrokensoul.Ihavenofamilytomournme,nochildrentoneed
me,andnofriendstomissme.Hetookeverythingfrommeandgavemenothinginreturn.What
startedasafairytalequicklyturnedtoanightmarethathaslastedtwoyearstoolong.Whensomeone
whoissupposedtoloveyoutellsyouthatyouarenothing,youbegintobelievehim.Atfirst,you
takeinhishatefulwordsandrationalizethattheycan’tpossiblybetrue.Thispersonlovesme,he
vowedtospendhislifewithme,ofcourseIammorethanjust“nothing”.Astimegoesbyandthose
wordsarespokentoyoueverydayofyourmeagerexistenceyoustoprationalizing.Youstop
mentallyfightingagainsttheuglinessofthewordsandthecertaintywithwhichtheyaredelivered.
Youbegintobelievethattheyareinfacttrue.Whensomeonewhohasvowedtocherishyouputshis
handsonyouwithsuchfuriousangerthatyoucannolongerrememberwhathiskindesttouchfelt
like,youbecomeconvincedthatyouMUSThavedonesomethingtodeserveit.

That’swhathappenedtome.Buteverythingwillchangetonight.IfIdon’tleaveIwilldie,ofthisI

amsure.Tonighthewillgotohispokergame,leavingmybrokenbodybehindwithanarrogance
thatpreventshimfromseeingthesmallthreadofstrengththatIamclingingto.Iwillleave.Iwilllift
uptheloosefloorboardatthebackofourwalkinclosetandgathermysmalldufflebagwiththe
bareessentials.Someclothes,apictureofmyparents,andthesmallamountofmoneyIwasableto
keepasideinsecretwhenhewastoodistractedbyhisragetonotice.MynewIDwassurprisingly
easytocomeby,it’sawonderwhatyoucanlearnonline.Iwon’tbothergoingtothepolice.Ilearned
longagothatwhenafellowpoliceofficerpusheshiswifedownthestairscausingherthreebroken
ribsandabrokenarmthathisbuddiesinthesquadroomaremorethanwillingtoturnablindeye.
Hisjobissoimportant,he’ssuchagoodcop,areyousureyoudidn’tslip?Thatwasthefirsttimehe
physicallyhurtmeandthelasttimeItriedtopresscharges.Tonight,everythingwillchange.
Tonight,Iwillfreemyselffromthislife.AnnemariewillceasetoexistandIwillbecomesomeone
new.Someonestrong.Iwillnotremaininthiscage,rottingfromtheinsideout.Tonight,Iwill
provetohimthatIammorethanjustnothing.Tonight,Iwillchooselife.

Chapter1

Lily

PresentDay

MyheadthrobsasItrytofocusonthefigurestandingoverme.He’sshoutingatmebutIcan’t

makeoutwhathe’ssaying.MyeyesdriftovertomysideandIseemyfavouritegreenvasesmashedon
thefloorbesideme.Thepaininmyheadissounbearable,Ithinkthismightbeit.Ithinkthismight
bethedaythathefinallykillsme.Hegrabsmebythecollarofmyshirtandshakesmeviolently.He’s
stillshoutingbutIcan’thearanything.Igritmyteeth,bracingforablowthatI’msurewillcomeand
that’swheneverythinggoesblack.

ThebeepingofmyalarmclockripsmefromthenightmareI’vehadonandoffforthelasttwo

years.Isitupandpullbackthedampenedcovers.Irubmyeyeswithshakyhands,tryingtomakemy
waythroughthefogandbackintomypresentlife.IamLilyJensen,Iliveabovethepubliclibrary
whichIrunsixdaysaweek.IliveinBlueFalls,population2,951andIamsafe.Iammorethana
twentyfourhourdrivefromthecitywhereIwasbornandraised.Irepeatthewordsoverandoveras
Imakemywaytothesmallbathroomjustoffmybedroom.Igetintheshowerandturnthewateras
hotasIcanstandinanefforttotryandwashawaythetensionthatsurroundsmybody.Iamsafe.I
stayinuntilthewaterbeginstochillandmakequickworkofdryingoffandgettingdressed.Icomb
mylongbrownhairandpullittogetherinathickbraidovermyshoulder.Mymatchingbrowneyes
lookfartoowornandwearyforatwentyeightyearoldwoman,butthereisn’tmuchIcandoabout
that.AquickbreakfastandacupofcoffeelaterandI’moutthedoorheadingdownstairs.Iwillspend
mydaysurroundedbythebooksthatIlovesomuch.Iwillleavemynightmarewhereitbelongs,in
thepastwithAnnemarie.Iamsafe.

ThefirsttwentyfourhoursafterIleftKevinwerethehardest.Iwasconstantlylookingovermy

shoulder,convincedIwouldseehimstormingtowardsmewiththatcoldlookinhiseyes.Ispentthe
firstthreedaysholedupinacheapmotelroomfivehoursfromthecity.Iwasnumbandscaredbut
relievedtohavefinallymadethechoicetoleavehimandmydreadfulmarriagebehind.KevinandI
metwhenIwastwentythreeandworkinginasmallcoffeeshopdowntown.Myparentshadbeen
killedmysenioryearofhighschoolbyadrunkdriver.Iwasanonlychildborntotwopeoplewho
alsohadnosiblings.MyparentswereanoldercouplewhenIcamealongandmygrandparentshad
allpassedbythetimeIwastwelve,leavingmealoneintheworld.Ihadenrolledasplannedatthe
city’sdowntowncampusforcollegecoursesinEnglishLiteratureandwasabletonarrowlycomplete
mydegreewiththemoneyleftoverfrommyparent’sinsurancepolicy.Unfortunately,positionsin
myfieldwerehardtocomebyaftergraduationwhichhadledtomycurrentjob.Itwasn’tmuch,but
itpaidthebillsandrentformysmallstudioapartmentandkeptmebusywhileIcontinuedtosendout
resumes.Ihadalife.Ihadfriends.Iwashappy.Ihadspentsixmonthsdatingtheperfectmanbefore
wewereengagedandquicklymarried.ThefollowingtwoyearsIspentmarriedtoamonster.It

startedsmall,himbeingdispleasedwithmefornotansweringmyphonerightawayorgettinghome
abitlatefromworkandnothavingsupperready.Iwouldalwayschalkituptothestressofhisjob.I
couldn’timaginebeingacitycopandIadmiredhimsomuchforhischoicetoserveandprotect
others.Ittookseveralmonthsbuteventuallyhisannoyanceturnedintofullonanger.Bythispointhe
hadconvincedmetoquitmyjobandIhadlittletonocommunicationwithmyfriends.ItoldmyselfI
wasluckytobemarriedtosomeonewhowantedmesomuchthathedidn’twanttoshareme.

Lookingback,Iwassonaiveandfoolish.KevinwasthefirstmanIhadeverlovedandIwas

committedtomakingourmarriagelast.AyearinandIwasenduringbrokenbonesandbruises.
Verbalinsultswereadailyoccurrenceatthispoint.Whycouldn’tIjustmakehimhappy?Why
couldn’tIbeascontentashisfriends’wives?Whycouldn’tIjustlistenandmakethingseasierfor
him?IwasstupidifIdidn’tmakesupperfastenough.IwasaprudeifIdidn’thaveanorgasmwhen
heforcedhimselfonme.Iwasn’tasprettyasthewomanwholiveddownstairs.Mylistof
shortcomingsranendless.Ididn’twanttobelievethethingshesaidtomebutIcouldn’tseemtohelp
myself.ForthelastyearofourmarriageIkeptmyheaddownandmymouthshut.Iagreedwithhim
whenhecalledmenamesandIlearnedtoneverrefusesexbecauseifIdiditalwaysledtosomething
worse.PartofmewishesIcouldblameitallonalcoholandthatwhenhewassoberhelovedmeand
wouldneverhurtme,thathejusthadanaddictionandneededhelp.Thehardtruthwasthateverytime
Kevinbeatmeandmademefeelworthless,hewasstonecoldsober.ThedayIdecidedtoslowlystart
planningmyescapewasthedayhesmashedmymother ’sgreenvaseovermyheadbecauseIdidn’t
havethefootballgameonforhimwhenhegothomefromwork.Thatwastheworstithadever
been.IspentoverthreeweeksrecoveringandmadeasilentpromisetomyselfthatIwoulddo
whateverittooktofinallyleavehim.Itwouldtaketimetohidemoneyandfindanewnamefor
myself,butIknewthatAnnemarie’sdayswerenumbered.Iwantedtolive.

Ileftthatcheapmotelanddidn’tlookback.Ihoppedonagreyhoundbusandstoppedatrandom

townsalongtheway.Workingoddjobs,mostlyservingtablesforcash.IsavedasmuchasIcould
whileIworked.Ikepttomyselfandlivedcheaply.Ididn’tknowforsurewhereIwasheadedbutI
believedthatIwouldfeelitwhenIreachedtheplaceIwasmeanttobe.Whichturnedouttobethe
mountaintownofBlueFalls.Ablendofoldandnew,mostofMainStreetwasamixofbrickand
stonebuildings.IwasenjoyingthecharmofthesmalltownwhenIapproachedthesmallpublic
librarywithasigninthewindowsaying“Librarianandcaretakerneeded”.Iheadedinsideandmet
Trudy,thecurrentlibrarianwhowasduetoretireassoonasshecouldfindasuitablereplacement.
Thepositioncamewitharentfreeloftstyleapartmentupstairsandadecentwage.WhenTrudyasked
foraresumeandIexplainedthatIhadbeentravellingforjustoverayearandworkingonlyforcash
asIpassedthrough,sheseemedapprehensivebutstatedshewastoooldandtiredtokeeplooking.
ShesaidIseemednormalenoughandthatthetowncouldusesomenewblood.Shemetwiththetown
councilandwiththeirapproval,hiredmeonatemporarybasistomakesureitwastherightfit.Two
monthsin,Trudyretiredtoanassistedlivingfacilitytwotownsovertobeclosertoherdaughterand
grandchildrenandImovedintomynewapartmentandsettledintomynewposition.Iwasexactly
whereIwasmeanttobe.

Chapter2

Cole

IneededabeerandahotshowerafterthedayIhad,Ididn’tcareinwhatorder.Istompedthedirt

offmysteeltoebootsasImademywayupthestepstomyportableofficeonourcurrentjobsite,
mutteringacurseandthankingGodthisdayfromhellwasdamnnearover.Twobrokendownpieces
ofequipment,anoshowmechanicandadelayinourprojecthadledtooneverypissedoffclient.I
hatedtomissadeadlinebutwhencircumstanceswereoutofmycontrol,therewasn’tmuchtobe
donebutgritmyteethandtaketheverbaltonguelashingfromsomesuitwearingassholewhohad
probablyneverheldahammerinhisentirelife.Isnaggedacoldbeeroutoftheminifridgeinmy
temporaryworkspaceandgotstartedonthepaperworkfortheday.Mycrewwaslonggoneforthe
daybutIhadlearnedfrommyoldmanbackwhenheranStoneContractingthatpartofbeingtheboss
wasstayinglateandgettingtheday’sworkdone.

IthadbeenfiveyearssinceItookoverthebusinessthathasbeeninmyfamilysincemy

Grandfatherstartedoutinhismid-twenties.StoneContractingwasknowntothelocalsofBlueFalls
toprovidefairpricesandqualitywork.Itriedmybesttoupholdthatreputationevenwhenthings
didn’tgoasplanned.Wetookonavarietyofwork,frombuildingexpansionstoroadmaintenance.
Weweretheonlyconstructionoutfitintownwhichmeantweneverturneddownajobnomatterhow
small.Ourcurrentjobwasaddinganentireblockofroomstooneoftheexistinghotelsalongthe
outskirtsoftown.Theownerofthehoteldidn’tlivehereonapermanentbasisandwasjustintown
tooverseetheprogress,whichmeanthewasgoingtobeapaininmyassforthenextmonth.A
mountaintownmeanttouristsandtouristsmeantmoney,butI’dneverrushedaprojectbeforeandI
wouldn’tstartnow.Qualityworktooktimeandifaclientdidn’tlikethat,theywerebetteroffhiring
acompanyfromaneighboringtown.

Decidingthedaywasmorethandone,Ifinishedupthelastofmypaperwork,downedtherestof

mysecondbeerandpackedup.Iheadedouttomytruckjustasmycellwentoff.Notrecognizingthe
number,Iletitgotovoicemail.Whateveritwascouldwaituntiltomorrow,mysightswerealready
setonashowerandwhateverwasedibleinmyfridge.

LastyearI’dstartedworkingonmyownplaceabouttenminutesoutsideoftown.I’dboughtthe

smallacreagenotlongafterItookoverthefamilybusinessandtookmytimemakingmyvisiona
reality.Imademywaydownthewindingdrivewayandembracedthesenseofpridethatcameover
meeverytimeIsawwhatI’dbuilt.Atwostorylogcabinwithawraparounddeckandadetachedtwo
baygaragesatnestledamongaforestofsprucetrees.Iwantedspaceandprivacywhichisexactly
whatIhad.True,itwasabitbigforjustonepersonbutIknewwhatIwantedandwhenitcameto
somethingIwasgoingtobuildwithmyownhands,itwasgobigorgohome.

Checkingthefridgeprovedtobefutile,nothingbutexpiredmilkandleftovertakeoutthatwas

borderingonradioactive.MakingamentalnotetogoshoppingtomorrowIheadedupstairstothe
masterbath,letthehotwaterdoitsjobandpromptlyfellfacefirstintobed.

Aloudthudcomingfromdownthehallwokemefirst,thefemalevoicemutteringtoherselfhad

meoutofbedanddressedinloosesweats.NotbotheringwithashirtIheadeddowntofacewhatI
wassurewouldbeafartooloudconversationforaSundaymorning.Aspredicted,Iroundedthe
cornertofindmysisterKateunpackingseveralbagsofgroceries.“Thirtyyearsoldandhecan’t
evenbuyfoodthedumbshit,whatwouldhedowithoutme.”

“OhI’msureI’dfigureouthownottostarvetodeath.”

“JesusCole!Youscaredtheeverlovingshitoutofme!Ugh,putonadamnshirt,thisisn’tfucking

Florida.”

Ichuckledandacceptedthetshirtshethrewatmyface.Katewasyoungerthanmebyfouryears

butshemightaswellhavebeenbornfirst.Herinstinctstotakecareofeverythingaroundherand
controlanysituationpossiblecamenaturally.Somepeopledidn’tknowhowtotakeherbutIknew
everythingshedidwaswiththebestofintentionsandconsideringshe’dbeenthiswaysincewewere
kids,shewasn’tlikelytochangeanytimesoonanyways.Whileherpersonalitycouldturnpeopleoff
inherpersonallife,itwaswhatmadehersuccessfulatherjob.She’dworkedintheMayor ’soffice
ashisassistantsinceshegraduatedhighschool.ConsideringtheMayorwasnearingseventyand
showednosignsofretiringanytimesoon,aspitfirelikeKaterunningtheshowbehindthescenes
wasjustwhatheneeded.

Shestarteddiggingthroughthecupboardandpulledoutafryingpan.Mygutschurnedatthe

thoughtofmysister ’scookingbutIvaluedmyballstoomuchtosayanythingasshestartedcracking
eggsintoabowl.

“Ineedtorunsomethingbyyou.ThetowncouncilhadameetingonFridaywiththewoman

runningthepubliclibrary.Shewantstoaddasmalladditiontothebuildingassomesortofkid’s
cornerorwhatever.Storytimeandthatkindofcrap.Anyways,theboardapproveditsoIgaveher
yourcellnumbertogetintouch.”shesaid

“ShitKate,we’rebusyenoughasitis,it’llhavetowaituntilthishotelisclosertobeing–“before

Icanfinish,she’sgotherhandup,asignatureKatemovewhenshewantsyoutoshutupandlisten.

“Look,Iknowyou’rebusybutthecouncilispushingforthisbeingthatthebuildingisrighton

MainStreet.Summeriscomingandtheywantitdonesoonerratherthanlater.Constructionis
unattractiveandwhentouristsseethingsthatareunattractive,theydon’twanttospendmoney.So
please,justtalkwithher,findoutexactlywhatshewantsandpullsomekindofrealistictimeframe
outofyourassandgofromthere.It’saspaceforkids,kidsaresmallsoitcan’tbethatbig.”

“Fine,butyouoweme.”

“Um,whatdoyoucallthis?”Sheholdsupthepanofmildlyburntscrambledeggs.

“SomethingIcouldhavedonemyself.”Ireplied.

“Pfffft,alrightbutwhateveryouwantisgoingtohavetowait.I’maverybusywomanwith

importantshittodo.”

Weateourbreakfastandcaughtuponthelastweek.Theremayhavebeenmorethanacouple

yearsbetweenusbutKateandIhadalwaysbeenclose.OurSundaymorningroutinehadbeenin
placeeversinceI’dfirstmovedoutofourparent’shouse.She’dbringgroceries,knowingIwastoo
busytodoitmyself,makeahardlyediblebreakfastandprovidemewithloud,cursefilled
conversationforatleasttwohours.NothingdeterredKate,noteventheoneSundaywhenI’dhad
overnightcompany.She’dtakenonelookatthewomanfollowingmeintothekitchenandwithout
missingabeataskedherifshepreferredcashorcheque.Shethencontinuedonmakingherlumpy
pancakesasifthewomanhadn’tstormedoutofthehouseredfaced,callingKatealonglistofless
thanflatteringnames.ThatwasthelasttimeI’dbroughtawomanbackhere.Fromthenonout,we
tookittoherplace.Itwasn’tasifI’dhadalonglineofwomenfilteringinandoutbutIwasno
strangertoaonenightstandandIhadnoproblemindulgingwithawillingwoman.I’dneverlied
andInevermadepromisesIwasn’tpreparedtokeep.Ihadyettomeetsomeonewhogavemethe
desiretosettledownpermanently,soitwascasualhookupsforthetimebeinganditsuitedmejust
fine.

Kateleftinherusualfashion,abruptlyandwithafullsinkofdirtydishesleftbehind.Ifinished

mycoffeeandsortedthroughtheweek’smailwhilecheckingmymessages.Iwasexpectingacall
backfrommymechanicbutwassurprisedbyashyfemininevoiceinstead.

“Hello,mynameisLilyJensen,Irunthelibraryintown.IgotyournumberfromKateandIwould

liketospeaktoyouaboutanadditionI’dliketohavebuilt.IfyoucouldcallmebackIwouldgreatly
appreciateit,thanks,haveagoodday!”

Ilistenedtothemessageagain.I’dheardaroundtownabouttheyoungwomanthathadtaken

Trudy’spositionatthelibrary.Nooneseemedtoknowtoomuchabouther,shehadn’tbeenhere
longandfromwhatIheard,mostlykepttoherself.Permanentlocalswereallwell-knownbutthe
townalsobroughtinplentyoftravellersthroughouttheyear.Somepeoplecamejusttoworkduring
peakseasonsandwentontheirwayafteramonthortwo.Newfacesdidn’toftenpromptgossiplike
theywouldhaveyearsago.BlueFallswassmall,butwiththecompanybeingsobusyandlotsofour
jobsbeingalongtheoutskirtsoftownitwasn’tasurprisethatI’dneverlaideyesonLilyJensen.I
playedthemessageoncemore.Hersweetsoundingvoicehadmemakingplanstostopbythelibrary
thisweektodiscussthisprojectinperson.

Chapter3

Lily

“MissLily,whenareyougoingtoletmetakeyououtonaproperdate?”

IsmiledbrightlyatthehopefullookonHarold’sface“Idon’tthinkMrs.Thomaswould

appreciatethatHarold,althoughyouflattermewithyourverylovelyoffer.”

“Wellyoucan’tblameaguyfortrying,Idon’tknowwhatIwoulddowithoutyouheretohelpme

withthisinfernalthing”hesaysgesturingtothecomputerbehindhim.

WhenIhadfirststartedworkingwithTrudy,Iwassurprisedthelibrarydidn’thaveanypublic

computers.Trudysaidafewpeoplehadaskedinthepastbutshedidn’tseetheneedsoshenever
botheredpursuingtheirrequests.IwasbeginningtothinkTrudyranaprettytightship.Ibroughtit
upatthefirsttowncouncilmeetingIattendedandwasabletogetthefundstobuythreewhichhad
provedtobeagreatdecision.Notonlyweresomeofthelocalstudentscomingintotakeadvantage
ofthembutsomeoftheolderfolkslikeHarold,whowantedtokeepintouchwiththeir
technologicallyinclinedgrandchildrenhadcomeinseveraltimestolearnallaboutemailand
Facebook.

“Howaboutinsteadofadate,youstopbyOlive’sonyourwayherenexttimeandbringmeoneof

herdeliciouscinnamonscones?”

“Nowthat,Iwouldbehappytodosweetgirl.”

IgaveHaroldafinalwaveandlockedupbehindhim.Iwashalfwaythroughthebinofreturned

bookswhenaknockatthedoorstartledme.Despitefeelingsafemostdays,Icouldn’tshakethatbit
offearthathadmeconvincedthatanyknockorbumpinthenightcouldbemypastcomingbackfor
me.Iglanceduptowardsthedoortofindamanstandingontheotherside.Icautiouslymademy
wayoverandflippedthelock.AsIpulleditopenIreleasedthebreathIdidn’trealizeI’dbeen
holdingandtookinthesightbeforeme.Hewaseasilyoversixfeettall.Mybraindidaquickintake
asIallowedmyeyestotravelfromhisbootcladfeet,pastabroadchestandmusculararmsallthe
wayuptoapairofthebluesteyesIhadeverseen.Dark,thickhairaccompaniedbyacoupledays’
worthofscruffandacurioussmilelookedbackatme.IthadbeensolongsinceIeventhoughtabout
meningeneralthatIwastakencompletelyoffguardbymyreactiontotheonestandinginfrontof
me.Theonewhowaslookingatmeexpectedly.GivingmyheadashakeIbarelymanagedtosqueak
outamurmur.

“AreyouMissJensen?”thedeeptoneofhisvoicesentashiverdownmyspine.

“Umyes,I’mLily.”Iallowedhislargehandtoencasemineandwasmomentarilycaptivatedby

thewarmthofhistouchwhenrecognitiondawnedonme.

“I’mColeStone,youphonedtheotherdayaboutanaddition..?”

“Ohyou’reKate’sbrother,yes,pleasecomein.I’msorry,Iwasn’texpectingyoutocomebyin

person.”IbarelycontainedasighashebrushedpastmeandIcontinuedtoramble“Really,Iknow
you’reprobablyverybusy,youcouldhavejustphonedmewhenyouhadtime,youdidn’thaveto

comeallthewaydownhereand...”

“MissJensen.”

“Yeah?”

“Itsfine,IwasintownanywaysandIhadthetimetocomeby,soIdid.”

“Lily.PleasecallmeLily.”Ineededtohearhimsaymyname.“Whydon’tIshowyouwhatIhad

inmindthen?”

“Leadtheway.Lily.”

Ohno.

IspentthenexthourshowingColethespaceIhadplannedonexpandingandgavehimagood

descriptionofwhatthespacewouldbeusedfor.BlueFallswashometomanyyoungfamiliesand
althoughTrudyusedtorunastoryhouronceaweek,Ifeltthatrunningaprogramlikethatonadaily
basiswouldbepopularandbeneficial.Adesignatedspacewherethekidscouldlistentoastoryand
participatebyaskingquestionswouldbeideal,hencethesmallexpansion.Iwasnervoustosharemy
ideawiththetowncouncilbutIfoundthatthelongerIwasawayfrommyoldlife,themoremy
confidencewasbreakingthroughandthelessIheardthatfamiliarvoicetellingmethatIwas
nothing.

ColelistenedpatientlywhileIusedfartoomanywordstoexplainmyplan.Seriously,whatwas

wrongwithme?IneededtogetittogetherbeforehedecidedIwassomebabblingtrainwreck.I
didn’tseearingbuttherewasnowayamanthisgoodlookingwasn’tmarriedandI’mprettysuremy
nervousrantingandbarelycontainedlustwastheepitomeofobvious.

“Anyways,sothat’swhatIhadinmind,ifyouthinkit’spossible?”

Hegavemeathoughtfullookbeforeresponding.

“It’sdefinitelypossible,I’llneedaboutaweektogetthingsinorderandwecanpickadayto

begintearingdowntheonewall.Whydon’tIcomebylaterthisweekandwecangofromthere?”

“Yes,thatsoundsgreat,I’msorryI’vekeptyou.”Againwiththerambling.“Yourwifeisprobably

expectingyouandI’vegotsomethingstofinishupanyways,I’msureyou’rehungry...”

“Lily?”

“Yeah?”

“I’mnotmarried.”

Afterwesaidourgoodbyes,IleanedbackagainstthecloseddoorandrealizedthatIcouldn’t

decidewhatscaredmemore.ThefactthatIwouldbeseeingmoreofColeStoneinthenearbyfuture
orthefactthatIwasrelievedhewasn’tmarried.

Chapter4

Cole

NothingcouldhavepreparedmeforthefirsttimeIlaideyesonLilyJensen.Ithadbeenthree

dayssincewebeganbuildingontothelibraryandoveraweeksinceIfirstmether.Icouldn’tgether
sweetvoiceanddeepbrowneyesoutofmyhead.ThewaysheblushedwhenItoldherIwasn’t
marriedfilledmewithsatisfaction.Maybeshefeltthisconnectiontoo.Thatfirstmeetingalonehad
toldmeseveralthingsaboutournewlibrarian.Onebeingthatalthoughshewasbeautiful,Icouldtell
bythewayshelookeddownandspokequicklyandquietlythatshedidn’tliketodrawattentionto
herself.Two,thatwhenshespokeaboutherjobandherideasforthenewchildren’sroom,herwhole
facelitupandhervoicebecamefirmandsure,tellingmethatsomewhereintherewasapassionate
womandespiteheroccasionaluncertainty.Andthree,therewasnowayinhellI’deverbeabletotell
thatwomanno.It’struethatwewerebeyondbusyatthetimebuttheexpansionwasn’ttoobigand
wouldn’ttakeasmanymenasIoriginallythought,soI’dgivenheratimeframeandacosttopass
alongtothetowncouncil.We’donlybeabletoworkatthelibraryondaysthatIcouldsparethemen
soitwouldtakelongerthanusual,butitwouldgetdone.ShewassopleasedwhenItoldherthatI
foundmyselfwantingtodowhateverittooktomakehersmilelikethatmoreoften.I’dneverbeenso
instantlyattractedtoawomanbefore,butsomethingaboutLilyhadmewoundtightsincethatfirst
day.

Ipassedtheresponsibilitiesofthehoteljobofftomyforemanforthedayandheadedtothe

library.IpulledinjustasLilywasunlockingthefrontdoorandproppingtheopensignoutonthe
frontstep.Casuallydressedinjeansandatightfittingshirt,Itookstockofhernaturalbeauty.She
hadherdarkbrownhairpulledupmessilyontopofherheadandIcouldtellevenfromherethatshe
didn’thaveonastitchofmakeup.OnherfeetwerethesameredconversesneakersInoticedthefirst
timewemet.BythewayIwasrespondingtoheryou’dthinkthewomanwasoutthereinnothingbut
herunderwear.I’dneverthoughtcasualcouldbesodamnsexybefore.Sheseemedlostinthought
andifpossibleappearedevenmorebeautiful.OfcourseIhadaphysicalinterestinher,basedonhow
manycoldshowersI’dtakensincewemetbuttherewassomethingmoretoherthatIwantedto
explore.ItookaminutetogaincontroloverthethrobbinginmycockbeforeIgotoutofthetruck
andmademywaytothefrontsteps.

“GoodmorningLily”

“Oh!Cole,youscaredme.I’msorry,Ididn’tevenhearyoupullup.”

Sheflashedmeabrightsmilecompletewithmatchingdimplesoneithersidethatdamnnearkilled

me.Notbeingabletostopmyself,Ituckedastraypieceofhairbehindherear.

“Youreallyneedtostopdoingthat.”

“Oh?Doingwhat?”shewhispered.

“Sayingyou’resorry.”

“I’msor–“shelaughedquietly.“Isupposeyou’reright,oldhabitsdiehardIguess.”

Therewasasadnessinhereyesasshesaiditthatmademewanttopressbutitwasgoneasquickly

asitcame.Sheletmeinandmadeherwaytoherdesk.Theswayofherhipshadmewonderinghow
hercurveswouldfeelagainstme.Ofcoursethatledtoawholeothertrainofthoughtlikewhat
wouldittaketomakeherscreammynameandwouldthosebrowneyesdarkenwithneedifItouched
herjustright.AslightcoughbroughtmeoutofmymentalpornandIfoundherlookingoveratme
gesturingtothecoffeepotinherhand.

“Sure,blackthanks.”Iwatchedassheaddedsugartohersandenoughmilktoalmostcompletely

drownoutthecoffeealtogether.

“Ithinkaddingthatmuchmilktoacupofcoffeenolongermakesitcoffee.”Isaidwithasmirk.

“Wellit’showIlikeit,andifitoffendsyousomuchthenperhapsyoushouldtakeyourcoffee

outside.”Shesnappedback.IwasmomentarilystunnedbyherresponsewhenIrealizedshewas
flushedwithembarrassment.

“EasyLily,Ididn’tmeananythingbyit.”

“No,I’msorry,Iknowthat.I…didn’tgetenoughsleeplastnight,Ishouldreallyhidefrom

civilizationtoday.”

“OhIthinkcivilizationneedsyoutoday,butI’llgetoutofyourwayandheadoutback.Havea

nicedayLily.”

“Thanks,youtoo.”Iwasjustaboutoutthedoorwhenshespokeagain,soquietlythatIalmost

didn’thear.

“I’msorryCole.”shesaid.

Ididn’tseeLilyfortherestofthedaybutourexchangethismorningweighedheavyonmymind.

Iknewtherewasmoretoherthensheleton.IalsoknewthatI’dbetakingcoldshowersandjerking
offlikeateenagereverynightifIdidn’treleasesomeofthistension.SomethingtoldmethatLily
wasn’ttheonenightstandtypeandoddlyenough,Ididn’tmind.I’dneverhadtheurgetogettoknow
awomanonalevelthatwasn’tpurelyphysicalandalthoughIwasborderingondesperatetoknow
Lilyphysically,Iwantedtospendtimewithheraswellandfigureoutifthisconnectionbetweenus
wastherealdeal.

MycrewwaspackingupandheadinghomeasImademywaybackinside.IfiguredI’dfindLily

atherdeskgettingreadytoclosefortheday.Iroundedthecornerandwasgreetedbyamuchmore
pleasantsight.Ashapelybacksidebentoveralargeboxandthetopofabrightpinkthongpeeking
outofapairofsnugjeanshadmymouthgoingdry.Thiswomanhadnoideawhatshewasdoingto
me.“Letmetakeyoutodinnertonight.”ThewordswereoutofmymouthbeforeIevenrealizedit.

Shestoodupslowlyandturnedtofaceme.“Oh,um,wellthat’sreallyniceofyoutoofferbutyou

don’thaveto.”

“IknowIdon’thaveto,Iwantto.”

“Idon’tthinkit’sagoodidea.”

“WhynotLily?”

Sheshiftedherweightandlookedatme,herbrowneyesfilledwithuncertainty.“ThankyouCole,

really,butI’mgoingtohavetopassfortonight.”

“Youcanpassfortonightbutthatdoesn’tmeanI’mgoingtostopasking.HaveagoodnightLily,

lockupbehindme.”

IturnedandleftwhileacceptingthefactthatIwouldbeenduringyetanothercoldshowerthat

nightandareleasefrommyownhandallthewhilethinkingofawomaninasexypinkthong.

Chapter5

Lily

Ninedays.Nineinvitationsincludingdinner,coffee,ahighschoolfootballgameandaSunday

morninghike.ColeStonewasnothingifnotpersistent.Ifoundmyresolvebeginningtocrumble,
andwassurprisedwithmyselfthathisstubbornnesswasn’ttheleastbitfrightening.Itwasclearthat
Colewasamanwhowasusedtohearingtheword“yes”buthecamebyithonestly.Hisinvitationto
spendtimetogetheroutsideofthelibrarywasborderlinedemandingyetitdidn’tfillmewiththe
dreadIhadgrownaccustomedtointhepast.Thetruthwas,I’dalwaysfoundittobeaturnonwhena
manknewwhathewantedandwasn’ttheleastbithesitanttomakeitknown.Itwasactuallyatraitin
Kevinthathadfirstcaughtmyeye.Itwashardnottocomparethetwomen.Iknewlogically,thatjust
becausetheymightshareasimilartrait,itdidn’tmeantheywerethesameandIwantedsobadlyto
explorethesefeelingsofmineandembracethepossibilityofitall.I’dcometolookforwardtothe
daysthatColewouldstopin.We’dquietlyshareacupofcoffee,makesmalltalk,he’daskmeout
andI’dcomeupwithsomelameexcusebeforehe’dmakehiswayouttotherestofhiscrew.He
occupiedmythoughtseverynightwhenIlaidinbedalone,tossingandturning,wishingIcouldsettle
myneverendingthoughts.He’dbeenthesolestarofseveralverygraphicdreamsthatendedwithme
wakingupneedyandunfulfilled.Iwasn’tavirgin,butI’donlybeenwithtwoothermenbesides
KevinandIhadneverfeltthiskindofneedforsomeonebefore.Iwasbeginningtothinkthatitwas
timeformetofindthewomanIwasbeforeIbecameausedupversionofmyself.I’dattendedafew
groupmeetingsforvictimsofdomesticviolenceinthelastplaceIhadbrieflylived.IknewthatI
wouldlikelycarrythescarsfrommypastformanyyearstocomebutIhadalsolearnedthatmoving
onandacceptingthatmylifewasdifferentnowwasimportant.Icouldn’tliveinfearfortherestof
mylife.Iwantedtobedifferent.Iwantedtofeelaman’s,specificallyCole’s,handsonmeandnotbe
afraid.IwantedtofeelpleasureagainandmostofallIwantedtofeelwanted.IwonderedifCole
wouldbestoppingintodayandifhereallymeantwhathesaidwhenhetoldmehewouldn’tstop
asking.

Themorningdraggedon.Irearrangedsomeofthedisplays,emptiedthereturnbinandwas

mindlesslywashingthefrontwindowswhenIrealizeditwasalreadynoonandColehadyettomake
anappearance.Maybehewasalreadyoutbackandfiguredhewaswastinghistimewithme.The
thoughtmademystomachchurn.IknewthatifIreallywantedtochangethedirectionofmylifethat
itwasuptometotakeastep.Iwasn’tsureifIcouldmusterthecouragetophonehim,soIdecideda
textwouldbethewaytogo.Babysteps.AtleastthiswayifheturnsmedownIcanendurethe
embarrassmentwithouthavingtoactuallyspeak.Myhandsshookslightly.

Me:Cole,itsLily.

Cole:HeyLily,iseverythingalright?I’matthehoteltodaybutIcanstopbyifyouneed

something.

Idecidedrighttothepointwasthewaytogo.

Me:AskmeagainCole.

IwaitedforwhatIswearwasthelongestfiveminutesofmylifeuntilmyphonechimedhis

response.

Cole:Letmetakeyououttonight.

Iexhaledmyreliefandtookmystep.

Me:Yes.

Cole:I’llpickyouupat7.AndLily?

Me:Yeah?

Cole:Thisisthebeginning,noturningback.

Me:Iknow.Seeyousoonx

SeveralhourslaterIwasstandingInfrontofmysmallclosetwonderingwhatthehellIwasgoing

towear.Thepileofdiscardedclothesonthebedstaredbackatme.Colehadtextedmelaterthat
afternoontotellmethatwewouldbegoingtoMac’s,asmallpubjustdownthestreet.I’dbeenthere
acoupletimestoquicklypickuplunchbutnothingmore.IknewitwascasualandIprobablycould
havewornmyusualtshirtandjeansbutIwantedtoputinmoreeffort.IthadbeensolongsinceI
wentonadateandifIwasbeinghonestIwantedtowearsomethingthatColewouldfindsexy.Itwas
nowthatIrealizedjusthowmuchImissedhavinggirlfriends.Ihadn’treallymadeanyefforttoget
toknowanyofthewomenintownsinceIarrived.Iknewmostoftheyoungmomsinpassing,butno
oneIfeltlikeIcouldcallinthethroesofmywardroberelatedpanicattack.Ihopedthattakingthis
stepwithColewouldgivemetheboostIneededtotakeothernecessarysteps.Likemakingactual
friends.

Idecidedonapairofdarkskinnyjeansandblacktopwithavneck.Forgoingmyusualconverse

sneakers,Ioptedforapairofblackanklebootswithaslightheel.Iappliedabitofmakeupjustto
brightenmyeyesandleftmylonghairinnaturalwavesdownmyback.Iwentcasualprettymuchon
adailybasisandusuallydidn’tbotherwithmakeupsothiswasanicechange.Itookonelastlookin
themirrorandmademywaydownstairstowardswhatIhopedwouldbethestartofsomethingreal.

Therewasaknockatthedooratsevensharp.Icouldn’thelpsmilingwideasIopenedthedoor

andwasgreetedwiththreedifferentbouquetsofflowers.Roses,daisiesandlilies.Ilaughedlightly
astheflowerswereloweredandIwasmetwithCole’sstare.Imayhavenothadalotofexperience
withmenbutIknewthelookonhisfacewasappreciationandIhoped,desire.

“Hi.”Ibreathedout

“YoulookbeautifulLily.”

“Thankyou.”Ipointedtotheflowers.“Couldn’tdecide?”Iteased.

“Wellitdawnedonmethatduringourmanymorningconversationswehadn’ttalkedaboutwhat

yourfavouritefloweris,soIdidtheonlylogicalthingandwentwiththreedifferentpossibilities.”

Ismiledagain.“Thatisverytrue,andtheyarealllovely.ButifI’mbeinghonest,I’mmoreofa

chocolatekindofgirl.”

Hereachedintohisbackpocketandpulledoutachocolatebar.IswearIfellhalfinlovewithhim

rightthere.

MylaughwasgenuineanditalmostcaughtmeoffguardwhenIrealizedthatIcouldn’tremember

thelasttimeI’dlaughedlikethat.Iacceptedmygiftsandwewereonourway.Mac’swasn’tfarand
theJuneairwaswarm,sowedecidedtoleavehistruckandwalk.Theconversationflowedeasily
betweenus.IkeptmypasttomyselfforthemostpartbutwedidtradechildhoodstoriesandItold
himaboutmyparents.HewasgenuinelysympatheticandIcouldtellthathewasclearlyclosewith
bothhismomanddad.Hetoldmeallaboutgrowingupinasmalltownandthekindoftroublehim
andhissisterKatehadgotteninto.Ilearnedthathisfavouritecolourwasgreen,hisfavouritemovie
wasBraveheartandthatwebothsharedamutualinterestinalltypesofmusic.Headmittedthathe
didn’toftenread,andIofcourseforgavehim.

WeenteredMac’stofindthatitwasquitebusywhichaccordingtoColewastypicalonanygiven

night.Mac’shadbeenastapleinBlueFallsforovertwentyyears.Machimselfhadsoldthesmall
pubseveralyearsagobutthenewownerneverbotheredchangingthename.Hemusthaveknownthe
nostalgiaoftheplaceheldmostoftheappealtothelocals.Wefoundasmallboothinthefarcorner
andeachorderedabeerandaplateofwingstoshare.Thewallswerecoveredinvariousoldsigns
thatgaveitacharminglook.Asmallstagesatintheoppositecornerwhereliveactswouldperform
nowandthen.Adecentsizeddancefloorsatinthemiddleoftheroomsurroundedbytablesand
booths.Ilookedaroundandnoticedafewfamiliarfacesamongstthecrowd.Wecontinuedour
conversationwhileIresistedtheurgetocrawlontopofhimrightthereinfullviewofthepublic.
Thefitofhisdarktshirtassuredmethattherewasnopartofthisman’sbodythatwasn’tmuscular
andhard.HisforearmsweretannedfromworkingoutsideandI’dfeltthecallusesonhislargehand
ashe’dheldontominewhenstrolleddownMainStreet.Thethoughtofthoseroughhandsrunning
alongmyskinhadmeclenchingmythighstogethertotryandeasetheachingbetweenthem.Iknew
thatnomatterwherethiswasleading,whetheritbeonenightormore,Iwasgoingtoindulgeinthe
fantasiesthathadbeenteasingmymindsincethedayIfirstmetCole.Amongmythoughtswasthe
realizationthatIcouldbethewomanIusedtobe.Shewouldbedifferentofcourse,butshewasn’t
deadandburied.Icouldreachherandpullheroutfromthedeepgraveshehadbeenforcedinto.

Chapter6

Cole

BeingwithLilywasoneoftheeasiestthingsI’deverdone.Ourconversationcamesonaturally,I

wasnowkickingmyselfforbringinghertoMac’swhereitwasloudandbusy.Everythingaboutthis
womanawokeapossessivenessinmethatIwasn’tpreparedfor.Iwantedtokeephertomyselfand
learneverythingtherewastolearnabouther.Shehadopenedupaboutherparent’sdeathandpartsof
herchildhoodyetIknewtherewerestillthingsshewasholdingbackandIwantedtoknowallofit.I
wouldn’tpushher.Yet.I’dneverbesatisfieduntilIfoundoutwhatcausedthewearinessbehindher
eyes.WecontinuedtogettoknoweachotherinthecrowdedbarasbestwecouldbutIneededmore.
Ineededtotouchherandfeeleverycurveofherbeautifulbodypressedagainstme.Thesmalldance
floorwasbeginningtothinoutjustasEricChurchstartedsingingaboutawreckingball.Itookmy
chance.

“DancewithmeLily.”

Shelookedmomentarilysurprisedbutblessedmewithasweetsmileandfirmnod.Itookher

smallhandinmineandledtheway.Ipulledhertomeandwrappedmyarmsaroundthesmallcurve
ofherwaist.Herarmscameupovermyshoulders,herhandsmeetingbehindmyneckandwebegan
tomoveslowly.Theheelsonherbootsgaveherabitmoreheightbutherheadstillrestedjustunder
mychin.Shelaidherearagainstmychestandreleasedasigh.Ihopedshecouldfeeljusthowhard
shemademe.Ididn’twanttheretobeanyquestionbetweenusastohowmuchIwantedher.The
songbegantofadeoutbutwestayedaswewere.Lilyliftedherheadandlookedmeintheeyes.

“Cole.”shewhispered.

“IknowLily.”

Mymouthcamedowntomeethers.Igentlylickedtheseamofherfulllipsandpromptedherto

openup.ShetastedassweetasshesoundedandIwassurerightthenandtherethatonekisswouldn’t
beenoughtosatisfyme.FeelingherlipsbeneathminebroughtmemorepleasurethanIthought
possible.Shetiltedherhead,allowingmetodeepenourkissasshepressedherselfintome.I
regrettablypulledbackwhenIrealizedIwasreadytotakeherrightthereonthefloor.Shelooked
backatmewithdarkeyesandIhadnodoubtthatmystarematchedhers.Wewalkedbacktoour
table,myhandfirmlyonherlowerback.TherewasnowayIwasn’ttouchingherandmakingit
knowntoanyonewatchingthatshewasmine.IstoppedshortwhenIsawmybuddyTracesittingat
thebar.Hewasstillinhisuniformandmusthavejustfinishedhisshift.IguidedLilyovertothebar.
IwantedtointroducethembeforeTracehadhislatestonenightstanddrapedalloverhim.We’dbeen
friendssincewewerekids,hisfamilyalsoalongtimestapleinBlueFalls.Heworkedasahighway
patrolmanforthecounty.Hisjoboftensuppliedmorethanafairshareofentertainingstoriesabout
touristshe’dpulledover.Tracewasaself-proclaimedlifelongbachelorandIknewIwasgoingto
catchmajorshitfromhimwhenIadmittedmynewobsessionwithmonogamy.

AsweapproachedthebarIcouldfeelLilytenseupundermyhand,hereyesstaredwearilyat

Trace’sback.Shepulledawayslightlyandmumbledsomethingaboutthebathroom.Shewasheaded
intheotherdirectionbeforeIcouldrespond.IturnedfromLily’sretreatingbacktofindTrace’s

questioninglook.Iavoidedanexplanationandafterabriefcatchup,madeplanstomeetforabeer
laterintheweek.IwentbacktoourtabletofindLilysittingquietly,staringatasaltshakerasthough
ithadalltheanswersintheworld.Igentlytouchedherhand,thesadlookinhereyespunchedme
straightinthegut.WithoutawordIguidedheroutoftheboothandweleftthebarinsilence.

Thewalkbacktothelibrarywasbrimmingwithunansweredquestions.Ikeptmyhandonher

backtomaintainourconnectionandwaitedforhertospeak.Sheunlockedthefrontdoorandturned
tome.

“Look,Cole,therearethingsinmypastthatIneedtotellyou.I’mnotreadyyetbutIpromiseI’m

workingonitifyoucanbepatientwithme..?”

Shelookeddownthenandseemedtobegatheringuphercourageasshelookedbackupatme.

“Doyouwanttocomein?”

Iknewbasedonwhatwashappeningbetweenusthatthiswasn’taninvitationforcoffee,andas

muchasIwantedtobewithherIdidn’twantanythingbetweenuswhenIfinallyhadherlegswrapped
aroundme.IgavemyselfonelastmentalkickbeforeIresponded.

“I’llbepatientwithyouLily,tobehonestwhateverthisisbetweenusissomethingI’veneverfelt

before.AndasmuchasI’mgoingtohatemyselffornotcomingintonight,Ican’t.”Shenoddedin
understandingandlookedalmostdefeated.Ileanedincloseandspokesoftlyagainstherear.

“Makenomistakebaby,Iwantyoumorethananythingrightnow,butwhenIfinallystripyou

nakedandputmymouthoneveryinchofyourbeautifulbody,therewillbenothingstandingbetween
us.IwanttoknowallofyoubeforeImakeyoumine.”Iplacedafirmkissonhertempleandturned
backdownthefrontsteps.IwaiteduntilIwasinmytrucktoadjustmyraginghardonandspentthe
drivehomeprayingforpatience.

Chapter7

Lily

IthadbeenthreedayssincemydatewithColeandtomysurpriseI’dheardfromhimseveral

times.Hewasbusyfinishingupatthehotelsohehadn’tbeenbythelibrary,buthe’dtextedoftenand
phonedeveryeveningtosaygoodnight.IknewthatIwasgoingtotellhimeverythingaboutmy
marriageandmyescapefromKevin,butIwantedtodoitinperson.Hedeservedtoknowexactly
whoIwasandI’dbelyingifIsaidIwasn’tveryinterestedinhisdescriptionofmakingme“his”.I
replayedourverypublickissalmostconstantlyinmymind.ThepleasureI’dfeltfromthatonekiss
hadmereadyandwillingtooffermyselftohimrightthereonthespot.Whenhedeclinedmy
invitationtocomeinafterhe’dwalkedmehome,Iwassuremybehaviourtowardstheendofthe
nighthadturnedhimoff.ThemomentI’drealizedwewereheadingtowardsthecopsittingatthebar,
itfeltasthoughafistwassqueezingmyheartandIknewIneededtocollectmyselfbeforeIwas
thrownintoafullblownanxietyattack.ColewaskindenoughnottomentionanyofitalthoughI’m
surehenoticedandIknewhedeservedanexplanation.

IclosedupforthedayandwentupstairstogetreadyforwhatIhopedwouldbeaveryworthwhile

evening.Colewaspickingmeupinacouplehoursandbringingmeouttohisplacewiththe
intentionofcookingmedinner.Icouldn’trememberthelasttimesomeonecookedformeandI
plannedonusingtheprivatesettingtocomecleanabouteverything.Ihoppedintheshowerandtook
extratimelatheringupandshavingalmosteverythingfromthewaistdown.Iwasnervousand
excitedforwhatcouldpossiblyhappenandIwantedtobeprepared.Iwantedtofeelsexyandletgo
ofmyself,ifonlyforafewmoments.I’dgottenmyhairtrimmedandhighlightedthedaybefore.
MyoutingwithColehadgivenmetheboostIneededtomaketheefforttoatleasttryandintegrate
myselfintothecommunityandIfiguredwhatbetterplacetostartthanahairsalon.Myeffortpaid
offwhenImetMona,theownerofTheBeautyBoutique.Myappointmenthadbeenwithsomeone
namedLucy,buttheminuteIcheckedin,apetitewomanaboutmyagewithjetblackhair,leopard
printleggingsandhotpinkflatsgrabbedmebythehandanddeclaredtotheentireshopthatwewere
inthepresenceof“virginhair”andthatshewouldbepersonallytakingcareofme.Apparently
anytimeanewcustomersteppedfootintoTheBeautyBoutique,Monastakedherclaim.Atradition
thatbeganshortlyaftershefirstopenedherdoors.AftertwohourswithMona,notonlydidIfeel
refreshedbutIhadmadeanewfriendwhetherIwantedoneornot,whichIdid.Wemadeplanstoget
togetherthatweekendforwhatMonacalled“ournewwinenightbecausehotbitcheslikeusneeda
winenight”.WeexchangednumbersandIleftfeelinglighterthanIhadinalongtime.

IspenttimegettingreadyandappliedmyfavouritevanillabodylotiontoeveryinchofskinthatI

couldreach.Iputontheverysexy,verytinylightpinkthongandmatchingbrathatIhadordered
onlineabouttensecondsafterImetCole.Idecidedtokeepmyoutfitcasual,figuringitwouldhelpto
easemynervesifIwerecomfortable.ColearrivednotlongafterIfinishedgettingready,wewerein
histruckandleavingtownbeforeIknewit.Therewasnoturningbacknow.

ThedrivetoCole’shousepassedquickly.Hetoldmeabouthisdayanddealingwiththedifficult

ownerofthehoteltheywerecurrentlyworkingon,whichwouldbedoneinafewdaysmuchtohis
relief.Thelibrarywouldbedonebytheendoftheweek,muchtomyrelief.Itoldhimaboutmy
appointmentwithMona,helaughedwhenItoldhimaboutmypartinthevirginalhairsacrifice.He
toldmehewouldexpectnothinglessfromher.ShewasgoodfriendswithhissisterKateandhad
spentafairamountoftimeattheirhousegrowingup.TheunexpectedpangofjealousythatIfelt
musthaveshownonmyfaceashewasquicktoassuremethathehadalwaysthoughtofherasa
sister.ColehadtoldmeaboutthehousehehadbuiltforhimselfthenightwewenttoMac’s,Icould
tellitwasasourceofprideforhimandwithgoodreason.Thebeautifullogcabinsatquietlyamong
thetreesthatsurroundedit.Nothingcouldbeheardbutthegentlerustlingofthewind.Afteraquick
touroftheinsideweendedupinoneofthemostbeautifulkitchensIhadeverseen.Sleekcounter
topsandappliancesaccompaniedwithgorgeouswoodstainedcabinetsgaveitanicemixofmodern
andcountry.Themailscatteredaboutontheendcountertopandthevarioushoodiesandjackets
hungbythepatiodoorsmadethespacefeellivedin.Icouldgetveryusedtospendingtimeinthis
kitchen.WithCole,ofcourse.

Wedecidedtotakeadvantageoftheniceweatherandusethegrilloutback.Colepreparedtwo

verydeliciouslookingsteakswhileImadeasalad.Weworkedincompatiblesilenceasifwe’dbeen
doingitforyears.AfterdinnerweeachtookabeerouttothepatioandIworkedongettingmy
thoughtsinorderwhilehemadeasmallfire.Hesatcasuallyononeoftheloungersandgently
pulledmetositbesidehim.

“IwantyouclosetomeLily.”hesaid.

Iclimbedonbesidehimandallowedhimtopullmein.Iheldontothesafetyhisarmsbrought

meandbegantellinghimthestoryofAnnemarie.ItoldhimhowKevinandIfirstmetandhow
thingsgraduallybegantochange.Iheldnothingbackandgavehimfulldisclosureofmyrecurring
injuriesandemotionaldamage.ItoldhimaboutthetimeItriedtoreporthim,onlytobemetwith
providedexcusesandplausibleexplanationsonmybehalf.Helistenedintentlyandneveronce
releasedhisholdonme.ItoldhimaboutthevariousjobsIworkedoverthepastyearandhalforso
andthemeetingsIhadattendedinordertotryandbeginhealinguntilIfoundmyselfinBlueFalls.I
confessedthatalthoughIwasfeelingmorelikethepersonIusedtobebeforeImetKevin,Istillhad
toworkatiteveryday.Ifinishedonadeepbreathandwaitedforhimtorespond.Hestoodslowly
andIimmediatelyfelttheabsenceofhiswarmth.Hewalkedtotheedgeofthepatioandbracedhis
handsforamomentbeforespeaking.

“I’msorryLily,Ineedaminute.”Thecalmnesswithwhichhespokewouldhavegivennothing

awayifitweren’tforthetickinhisjawandthetightgriphehadonthetopbarofthemetalrailing.
Hewasangry.Icouldfeeltheragecomingoffhiminahotwave.Iwasn’tscared.BecauseIknew
hisragewasn’tdirectedatme.Iapproachedhimslowly,wrappedmyarmsaroundthehardnessof
historsoandturnedmyheadsomycheekrestedgentlyagainsthisback.Therewasnothingmoreto
say.IspokewiththeconfidenceIgainedfromsharingmypastwithCole.

“I’msafeCole.Iremindmyselfofthateverysingleday.I’msafeandI’mhere.Withyou.”

HeturnedthenandIbroughtmyarmsupandaroundhisneck.Iwasreadytofeelagain.Ipulled

gentlyasIstoodonmytoesandbroughthislipstomine.Whatstartedassoftquicklyturnedtohard.

Hisarmspulledmecloserashedeepenedthekissandpromptedmetowrapmylegsaroundhis
waist.Withoutbreakingourconnection,hebackedustowardsthepatiodoorsandledusbackinside
thekitchen.Theonlysoundwasourbreathingandthedesperationofourmouthsdevouringone
another.HetookusdownthesmallhallwayandkickedopenthedoortothemasterbedroomI’donly
gottenaquickglimpseofwhenwe’dfirstarrived.Ishamelesslygroundmyselfagainstthehardness
ofhiserectionashebroughtusintothebedroom.Hebrokethekisslongenoughtograzehisteeth
alongmyneck,sendingshiversdownmyspineandcausingmynipplestohardenagainsthischest.

“Lily.”hebreathedagainstmyear.

“IwantthisCole,Iwantyou,pleasedon’tstop.”Ipantedback.

“Never.You’remineandI’mnotlettinggo.”

TheconvictioninhiswordsmademyheartsqueezeandmyeyesfillwithtearsthatItriedhardto

control.Asingletearmanagedtorolldownmycheekonlytobemetbyhisseekingmouthashe
kissedthedropaway.Layingmegentlyonthebedheremovedhisshirt,exposinghismuscularchest
andasetofabsthatIwouldn’thavethoughtwerepossible.HisjeanscamenextandIproppedmyself
uponmyforearmstounabashedlyadmirethetightnessofhisblackboxersandthesizeablebulgethat
staredbackatme.Colewasbig.Everywhere.Iclenchedmythighstogethertoeasethethrobbingthat
wasalmosttoomuchtobear.Heremovedhisboxersandslowlycrawledupthebedtowardsme.

“Yourturnbaby.”Hestartedwithmyshoesandworkedhiswayup,removingeverystitchof

clothingIhadon,leavingatrailofhotkissesfollowedbythegentlegrazingofhisteethuntilIlay
beforehiminnothingbutmythongandbra.MybreathcameingaspsasIreachedforhimand
broughtmyhipsuptomeetwhatIwassurewasthemostbeautifulcockI’deverlaideyeson.

“Cole,Iwantyouinsideme,pleasedon’tmakemewaitanylonger,Ineedtofeelyou.”

“JesusLily,you’resofuckingbeautiful.”

Iwasnakedinseconds.Hebroughthishanddowntomythrobbingcenterandswipedtwolarge

fingersalongmyopeningandbackuptothebundleofnervesthatbeggedtobetouched.Inearly
camefromthatsingletouch.Hebroughthisfingersbackdownandpushedtheminsidemewhile
brushinghisthumbacrossmynippleandtakingtheotherinhismouth.

“You’resofuckingtight.Ican’ttakemytimeLily,Ineedtobeinsideyou.”

HebroughthismouthtomineandIansweredwithahungrykisswhilehebroughthimselftomy

slickopening.Hepausedandlookedatmesearchingly.

“Tellmeyou’reonthepillbaby,Idon’twantanythingbetweenus.You’resafewithme,I

promise.”

“I’monthepillandIhaven’tbeenwithanyonesince….”Ileftmystatementthere,notwantingto

bringhimanywherenearthisblissIwascurrentlywrappedupin.Hiseyesheldmineasheentered
meinonehardthrust.Iinhaledsharplyasmybodyaccommodatedhissize.Westayedthatwayfor
severalsecondsuntilhekissedmewithatendernessIknewIwouldneverforget.Hepulledoutand
thrustbackinsideme,slowlyatfirst,uppinghispaceasmybodyrelaxedaroundhim.Igrippedhis
shoulders,diggingmynailsintohistautskinasIbegantofeelmyreleasebuilding.

“LookatmeLily,Iwantyoureyeswhenyoucum.Iwantyoutowatchme,knowingthatyour

pussyismineandthepleasureyou’refeelingrightnowbelongsonlytome.”

HiswordsthrewmeovertheedgeofecstasyandIcamewithhisnameonmylips,staringintothe

bluepoolsofhiseyes.AsIfloatedbackdownfrommyorgasmhetiltedmyhipswithafirmgrip,
causinghimtoreachadeepnessinsidemethathadmebracingforanothermindblowingrelease.He
poundedintomefaster,slidingeasilyinandoutasIcoveredhimwithmywetness.Hetensedandlet
outadeepgrowlashecameinsideme.HekepthishipsmovingslowlyashefinishedandIcame
again.Ourmouthsmetoncemorebeforehepulledout,leavingmefeelingcompletelyemptyuntilhe
rolledontohisbackandpulledmetohim.Myheadrestedonhischest,ourlegstangledtogetherina
sweatymess.Thesoundofhisheartbeatingsteadilyandthecombinedsoundofourheavybreathing
hadmyeyelidsclosing.ThelastthingIheardbeforesleepclaimedmewashiswhisperedvoice.

“I’llalwayskeepyousafeLily.”IknewhemeantitandIallowedhisspokenvowtoguideme

safelyasIdriftedintosleep.

Chapter8

Cole

Iawoketoawarmbodywrappedaroundmine.ThelightscentofvanillateasingmeasIopened

myeyesandlookeddownatthewomanrestingherheadabovemyheart.IsuspectedLilyhadapast
thatshewasworkingthroughbutIwasn’tpreparedfortheviolentmemoriesshesharedwithmelast
night.Ibarelyheldontomyrageasshetoldmeaboutabuseshehadsufferedatthehandsofthatno
goodpieceofshithusbandofhers.Ex-husband.Lilywasminenowandhewouldneverhurther
againorIsworeI’dkillhimmyself.Whatkindofassholecouldstandtohurtawoman,letalonea
womanlikeLily?ItwasobviousnowthatwhatIfeltfromthefirstmomentIlaideyesonherwas
morethanlustandIwoulddowhateverittooktokeepherinmybedandinmylife.Everypartof
Lilywasbeautiful.IwasnostrangerwhenitcametosexbutlastnightwasbyfarthebestI’dever
had.I’dwantedourfirsttimetogethertobeslow,IwantedtoshowherjusthowmuchIdesiredher.
Themomentherlipstouchedmine,controlwentoutthewindowandtherewasnoturningback.Ihad
toclaimeveryinchofherbodyasmine.UnprotectedsexwasneverahabitofminebutIcouldn’t
standthethoughtofanythingbetweenus.Rememberinghowsheletgoofherselfandgaveherselfso
willinglytomehadmycockhardeninginamatterofseconds.Herbreathremainedsteadyasshe
sleptcurledupbesideme.Igentlyliftedherfrommychestandrolledherontoherbackcausingthe
sheettofalldownandexposeherbeautifulbreasts.Theyfitperfectlyinmyhandsandherpink
nipplesbeggedtobelicked.Iplacedmymoutharoundoneandthentheother,andcontinuedtasting
herasImademywaydownherbody,removingthesheetcompletelyasIwent.Shestirredslightly
andreleasedasoftmoanasIpartedherthighsandinhaledherarousal.Iwasagonerfromthefirst
swipeofmytongue,thetasteofhersweetpussycouldeasilybecomemyaddiction.Iateherlikea
starvingmanwhowouldneverbesatisfied.Shewasfullyawakenow,writhingbeneathme.Iplaced
afirmhandonherstomachtoholdherinplacewhileIcontinuedtosuckherclitintomymouthand
pumpmyfingersinandoutofher,coatingthemwithhersweethoney.Shecamewithascream,her
bodyshookasshesaidmynameoverandovermuchtomyapproval.Ilickedupeveryounceofher
release,refusingtoletasingledropgotowastebeforeIplacedasoftkissontheinsideofeither
thighandmademywaybackuptohermouth.Ibroughtmylipstohers.

“Tasteyourselfbaby,seehowsweetyouare.”

WemoanedtogetherasIguidedmynowthrobbingcocktoherslickentrance.Iwasinsideherin

onequickmotionthathadmegrowlingwithpleasure.

“FuckLily,you’resowetforme.”

Ipumpedinandoutofhermercilessly,hertightgriponmyshouldersonlyencouragedmetogo

harderandfaster.Icouldfeelthewallsofhertightpussysqueezingmybarecockasweclaimedeach
other ’spleasure,hereyesonminetheentiretime.Islowedmypaceandgentlynippedhercollar
bone.

“Goodmorningbeautiful.”

“Mmmm,ifthat’sthekindofgreetingI’mgoingtogetwhenIspendthenighthere,Imaynever

leave.”Shesaidwithahuskylaugh.

“Oh,IhavealonglistofwaysI’dliketowakeyouupinthemorning.”Ireplied.

Shebrushedthedamphairfrommyforehead.“Cole,aboutwhatItoldyoulastnight.”

“Shhbabe,wedon’thavetotalkaboutitnow.”

“No,wedo.IwantyoutoknowthatwhenIleftmymarriage,IhadnoideawhereIwasgoingto

endup.IwassoscaredtoleavebutonceIdiditfeltlikeIcouldfinallybreatheagain.WhenIfirst
arrivedintownIdidn’tevenknowforsurethatIwouldstay,IknewIcouldn’trunforeverandthat
forthesakeofmyownsanityI’dneedtosettledowninonespoteventually.Ifeellikemyselfhere,I
feelsafeforthefirsttimeinalongtimeandIplanonstaying….SoIguessIjustwantyoutoknow
thatevenifwhateverthisisbetweenusisn’tforthelongterm,I’llalwaysbesogratefultoyoufor
helpingtobringmebacktolifeandIhopethatnomatterwhatwe’llalwaysbefriends.”Shelooked
downtowhereourbodieswerestilljoined.

“Lily,lookatme.IthoughtImademyselfandmyintentionsclear,butI’llsaythisagainsothatwe

arebothonthesamepage.You.Are.Mine.ThewayIfeelaboutyouisunexpectedbutIassureyou,it
isvery,veryreal.IhavenointentionofmakingthisaoneshotdealandIhopetoGodyoufeelthe
samebecausethethoughtofsomeoneelsetastingandtouchingwhat’smineisenoughtosendme
overtheedge.Ican’tpromiseyouforever,becausenooneknowswhatthefuturewillbring,butI
promiseyouthatmyfeelingsarerealandaslongasyou’llhaveme,I’myoursjustasmuchasyou
aremine.”

Shebroughtherlipstomineandgracedmewithabeautifulsmile.“I’dliketobeyours.”She

whisperedagainstmymouth.“AndI’dlikeforyoutobemine.”

“Good.I’mgoingtogomakeussomethingtoeatandthenI’lldriveyoubackintotowntoopen

up.”

“Ohshit!”Shegiggled.“Icompletelyforgotaboutwork,Iwasdistractedbyyouandyourvery

talentedmouth.”SheblushedshylyandIwassorelytemptedtoprovemytalenttoherforasecond
timethatmorning.

“Baby,ifIdon’tgetoutofthisbednowIneverwill.Takeyourtimeandmeetmeinthekitchen

whenyou’reready.”Ireluctantlypulledawayfromherandthesoftnessofherskin.

Overeggsandcoffeewediscussedourschedulesforthenextweek.Ihadacoupleofmeetings

thatdaywithpotentialnewclientsandshewasgoingtostartorderingsomenewbooksandpropsfor
thekid’scorner.Shewaslookingforwardtoherfirst“winenight”withMonathatSaturday.The
librarywouldbeclosedSundaysoweplannedamorninghikeandatouroftheoutskirtsoftown.
Lilyknewherwayaroundbuthadn’tdonemuchexploringotherwiseandIwashappytoobligeas
longasitmeanttimespentwithher.EverythingaboutourmorningfeltdomesticandIwasbeginning
tothinkthatwasn’tabadthingatall.

Chapter9

Lily

AftermyamazingnightwithCole,Ispentthenextfewdayshardatworktogetthenewkids’

cornerorganizedandready.Thetowncouncilhadgivenmeabudgetforsomenewbooksandprops
andkidappropriatefurnituretofillthespace.IwasstretchingeverydollarasfarasIcould.School
wasoverforthesummersoIwasabletohiretwostudentstoworkafewdaysaweekwhichwould
freeupsomeofmytime.Coleandhiscrewwerebusyfinishingupatthehotelwhichmeantlate
nightsandearlymornings.Thelibraryspacewasprettymuchdonenow,justafewoddsandends
whichwouldbetakencareofthisweekend.Colefiguredthehotelexpansionwouldbecomplete
beforeSaturdayandtheydidn’thaveanyjobsscheduledtostartuntilthemiddleofthefollowing
week.Iwashopefulthatwithuseachhavingsomeextrafreetimewecouldspendittogether.

FallingasleepwithColeandwakinguptohisveryeagermouthbetweenmythighswasgivingme

someprettygraphicdaydreamsoverthelastcoupledays.I’vehadorgasmsbeforebutevery
previousexperiencepaledincomparisontowhatIfeltwithhim.Hisdirtywordsalonehadme
throbbingwithneedandeverytimehesaidIwas“his”Iclungtothehappinessthosewordsbrought
meandprayedI’dneverhavetogowithoutthem.

TonightIwasgettingreadyforwinenightatMona’s.Iwasn’texpectedtobeatherplacefor

anotherhourbutshe’dalreadymanagedtotextmeseveraltimesthroughouttheday.Onetext
specificallyrequestedthatIdonotshowupwithany“glutenfreesnacks”….ifIdidIwouldbe“sent
backtotheassholesectionofthegrocerystorewhereallthepeoplewhohatethemselveshangout,to
thinkaboutwhatI’vedone”…AnothertexttoldmethatI“betterbereadytotalkaboutdicks.”I
suspectedthatwinenightwithMonawaslikelytobeverymemorable.

Ifinishedgettingready,grabbedthebagofglutenfilledsnacksI’dboughtearlierthatdayand

headedout.MonalivedaboutafifteenminutewalkfromMainStreet,inacharmingoldbrickhouse
thathadbeenconvertedintoseveralsmallapartments.ShesentmetheaddressbutIknewthe
neighbourhoodwell.I’dstayedatabedandbreakfastonthesamestreetwhenIfirstlandedinBlue
Falls.Imademywayupthestairsandwasabouttoknockonherdoorwhenitwasrippedopen.

“UGHfinally!Getyourhotassinhereandgetcaughtup.I’moneglassaheadofyouandifthis

friendshipisgoingplacesyoubetterdrinkthefuckup.”

Ihandedherthebagandletoutalaughwhileshegavemychoiceofsnackfoodanapprovingnod.

“Ithoughtwesaidseven?It’sliketwominutespast.”

“Wedid.I’msuperimpatient.”Sheplacedthebagonaclutteredkitchentableandpromptlytore

openabagofchipswhilegesturingtothespacearoundus.“Sothisisit,I’dgiveyouatourbutI’ma
terriblehostess.Also,Idon’twantto.”

IlookedaroundtheroomandalthoughIdidn’tknowMonawell,Icouldtellthatthespacesuited

her.Thekitchenandlivingroomwereonelarge,openconcept.Thefurniturewasmostlyantique
stylewithafewnewerpiecesscatteredthroughout.Thekitchenwallswerepaintedaverybright
turquoisewhilethelivingroomwasadeepgrey.Thecolourfulfurnitureandaccentstiedeverything

togetherwhilethecluttermadeitfeelhomey.Asignonthewallaboveasmallhallwaysaid“Thisis
wherethemagichappens”withanarrowpointingtowhatIassumedwasthebedroom.(Iwouldlater
beprovenwrongwhenMonainformedmethatthesignisactuallypointingtothesmalllaundry
room….Ididn’taskforanexplanationalthoughshedidprovidemewithonewhichIquicklyforgot
duetoheavywineconsumption.)

WechattedwhilewedrankandateandIrealizedhowlongithadbeensinceIhadagirlfriendto

confidein.ItoldMonaaboutColeandgavehertheCliff’sNotesversionofournighttogether,much
toherfrustration.Ibrieflytouchedonmymarriagebutdidn’tgointotoomanydetails.Iwasn’t
afraidtotellherbutIdidn’twantadarkcloudhangingoverournight.WeagreedthatI’dtellher
moreaboutitanothertimeovercoffeeratherthanwine.ShetoldmeallaboutgrowingupinBlue
Falls.HerandheryoungersisterHannahadspentmostoftheirtimeattheStonehousehold.Herdad
workedlonghoursandhermomhadupandleftonenightwhenMonawastwelveandneverbothered
tolookback.AccordingtoMona,shewasn’tmuchofamothertobeginwithsoherpresencewasnot
missed.Shewasclosewithhersisterwhohadspentthelastcoupleyearstravellingandwascurrently
livinginIreland.ShemissedherimmenselybutreferredtoKateandColeasherbackupsiblings.I
wasrelievedwhenshetoldmethatKatewassupposedtojoinusbutgotheldupatwork.IlikedKate
andwaslookingforwardtogettingtoknowherbetterbutIdidn’tknowifColetoldhisfamilyabout
whatwashappeningbetweenusandIthoughtitmightbeweirdformetobetheonetotellher.

Thehourspassedinablurofrefilledwineglassesandseveralverygraphic,mostlysexualstories

courtesyofmynewfriend.SomewherebetweenBlondieandthesoundtracktoFootloosetheweight
begantoliftoffmyshouldersandallowedmyselftobecarelesslyhappy.

Iliftedmyheavyeyelidsandsquintedatthebrightsunlightstreamingthroughapairoffamiliar

curtains.IlookeddownandrealizedIwaswearingnothingbutanoldtshirtandapairofverylarge
woolsocks.Iclosedmyeyesinapoorattempttorelievethepoundinginmyhead.HowdidIendup
atCole’splace?HowmuchdidIdrinklastnight?Ugh,Iwishedforaquickdeathtoendthemisery
thatwasmyheadache.Ispottedmyphoneonthenightstandandcheckedthetime.9a.m.Inoticed
mytexticonflashingandcheckedmymessages.Ohno.IdrunktextedCole.Alot.Icringedwith
humiliationasIreadthem.

Me:Cole!!!<3<3<3

Cole:Hey,havingfunwithMona?

Me:YES!Havingfr53indsissomuhfun.Ineedtohavefrendsmoreoften.IthinkImayhavehave

tomuchwinetho.

Cole:Haha,Ithinkyoumightbedrunkbabe.AreyouspendingthenightatMona’sordoyouneed

aridehome?

Me:Iwalkjoggedhere.Icanwalkjoghome.Ifeelreallygood,likeicouldranahugeraceifI

wanted<3

Cole:Pleasedon’twalkhome,I’llcomepickyouupandtakeyouhomewhenyou’reready.Just

letmeknow.

Me:I’mreadynowbutIdon’twannausethesleepathome,Iwanttouseyoursleeeeeep.

Cole:Haha,okay,I’llbetheresoon.

Me:Soundssuper!IlikeyouCole.IlikehyoumorethenIlikethiswine.

Cole:IlikeyoutooLily.

Ugh.Idroppedmyphoneonthebed.Idon’tevenwanttoknowwheremyunderwearareorwhy

I’mwearinglumberjacksocks.Nomorewine.Ever.MyinnerpitypartywasinterruptedwhenI
heardvoicescomingfromthekitchen.TimetofacethemusicIguess.SincemyVictoria’sSecrets
hadpulledadisappearingact,IslippedonapairofCole’sboxers.Iwenttothebathroomandfound
anewtoothbrushsittingbesideacupofwaterandabottleofaspirin.Blessthisman.Ibrushedthe
bittertasteofalcoholfrommymouthanddownedtwopills,Iwashedlastnight’smakeupoffand
begantofeelmorehuman.ImademywaydownthehallandfrozewhenIrealizedColewastalking
tosomeone.

“Look,Ididn’twanttorushthingsandbringheraroundthefamilywhenthingsarestillnew.

She’sbeendealtatoughhandandIdon’twanttopushher.”

“IgetitCole,butseriously,youcouldhavegivenmeaheadsupthatyouwereofftheslutmarket.

Jesus,whatifI’dgonetoMona’slastnight?Thatwouldhavebeensoawkwardforthepoorwoman,
andIhappentolikeLily.Men,Iswear.”

IroundedthecornerjustasKategaveherbrotheranexasperatedsigh.Sheturnedbacktothestove

andcontinuedstirringsomethingthatsmelledvaguelylikeburntmetal.Thefloorcreakedbeneath
myfeetcausingbothofthemtolookmyway.

“Goodmorning.”Icroaked.

“Morningbabe,how’reyoufeeling?”

“Idon’tthinktherearesufficientwordsintheEnglishlanguagetodescribehowIfeel,GodI’m

sorryaboutthemessagesIsentyou.”I’msuremyentirebodyglowedredwithembarrassmentasI
saidit.

“Aw,don’tworryaboutit,Ilikethatyouwerethinkingofme.YouremembermysisterKate?”

“Yesofcourse,sorryI’msuchamess.IswearIdon’tevenrememberhavingthatmuchtodrink.”

“Oh,it’sallMona,trustme.Thatsneakybitchwilldistractyouwithconversationandfillyour

glasswhenyou’renotevenlooking.I’vespentmanymorningsprayingfordeathbecauseofthatevil
seawitch.”shereplied.

ThethreeofussattogetherandhadcoffeewhileKateprovidedendlessconversation.The

differencesbetweenherandColewereobviousbuttheycomplimentedeachotherwell.Itwasn’thard
toseethattheywerefriendsinadditiontobeingsiblingsandIcouldn’thelpbutfeelenviousthatI
nevergottoexperiencethattypeofbond.

“Well,it’sbeenfunkids,butI’moutofhere.Feelfreetohelpyourselvestowhateverthatis….I

thinkitsoatmeal.AndCole,youmightwanttocallMomandtellheraboutyourbrandnewfriend
here,beforeshehearsitfromsomeoneelseandtakesituponherselftoinfiltrateLily’spersonal

space.”

IwaiteduntilthedoorclosedbehindherbeforeIlookedpointedlytothepotonthestove.“We’re

notactuallygoingtoeatthat,arewe?”

Colelaughed.“Nobabe,wearenotgoingtoeatthat.Katemeanswellbutacooksheisnot.Why

don’tyougograbashowerandwecanhavebreakfastintown.”

InoddedandwasabouttoturnbacktowardsthebedroomwhenIrealizedthatIstilldidn’tknow

wheremyclotheswere.“Um,wedidn’t,yaknow,doanythinglastnightdidwe?Imean,notthatI
wouldbeupsetifwedid,it’sjustthatIwokeupwithoutmyunderwearonandIdidn’tseeanyofmy
clothesinyourbedroom.”

Colecametowardsmeandwrappedhisstrongarmsaroundmywaist.“NoLily,wedidn’tdo

anythinglastnight.”Hesmiledbroadlyanddroveonemorenailintothecoffinthatheldmyalready
heavilybruiseddignity.“Youtookyourclothesoffbeforewewenttobedandinsistedthatmywool
sockswouldmakeyousleepbetter.Youalsoinsistedthatunderwearshouldbebannedfromthe
bedroomandyouthrewthemoutthewindow.Iwashedyourclothesthismorning,I’llleavethemon
thebedforyou.”

Seriously.Nomorewine.Ever.

AquickshowerandapitstopatOlive’scaféforbreakfasthadmefeelinglikeafullyfunctioning

memberofsociety.Wewentaheadwithourplansfortheday.Iwantedtogetoutandexplorethe
town.Wespentthebetterpartofthemorninghikingthetrailsthatloopedaroundthenearestlakejust
offthemainhighway.Theweatherwaswarmandrefreshing.Itfeltgoodtogetoutandspendsome
timeoutside.IrememberedColetellingmethatthiswasafrequentwayinwhichhespenthis
weekends,Iwashappytotagalong.WegrabbedlunchatMac’sandspenttheafternoonatthelocal
hotsprings.Timepassedtooquicklyandbeforeweknewit,eveningapproached.Ifoundmyself
wishingthedaycouldlastjustafewmorehours.Wedidn’thaveplansbeyondtheafternoonsoI
assumedColewouldbedroppingmeoffathome.Tomysurprise,hepassedthroughtownand
headedtowardshisplace.

“Iknowwedidn’thaveplansfortonight,butI’mnotreadyforthisdaytoend.”Heflashedmea

grinthathadmereadyandwillingtoagreetoprettymuchanything.Ismiledbackashetookmyhand
inhisandheldittherestoftheway.

Chapter10

Cole

SpendingtheentiredaywithLilywasn’tnearlyenough.Themoretimewespenttogether,the

harderitwastobeawayfromher.WhenshetextedmelastnightIwasatMac’shavingabeerwith
Trace.Ifilledhiminonherexandthefactthathewasacop.Iknewshedidn’twanttoomanypeople
toknowaboutherpastbutItrustedTraceandIwantedhimtodosomediggingtofindoutiftheprick
wasactuallylookingforher.TracehatedtheideaofsomeonehidingbehindtheirbadgeandIknew
he’dbediscreetandprotectLily’snewidentity.

Wepulleduptomyplacejustasthesunwassetting.Wedecidedonaquickandeasysupperof

sandwichesandchipsandsettledinthedenforamovieonNetflix.IleftthedecisionuptoLilyand
wasbracingmyselffortwohoursofromanticcomedy.ShechoseRockyIVinstead.Mygirlwas
fullofsurprises.ShecurledupnexttomeonthecouchandIpulledherclose.Thelightvanillascent
sheworewasquicklybecomingmyfavouritesmell.TherewasnothingaboutthiswomanthatI
wasn’tcompletelyaddictedto.ImeantitwhenItoldherthatmyfeelingsforherwereasurprise.I
hadn’tplannedonfallingthishardbutIwasfallingnonetheless.Icouldn’texplainit,eventomyself.
Everypartofmewantedtokeepher.AnhourintothemovieandIcouldfeelhersinkclosertomeas
herbreathevenedout.Igentlypickedherup,carriedhertomybedroomandlaidheronthebed.I
lockedupforthenightandcamebacktofindherawake.

“Sorry,Iguessallthatfreshairtodaycaughtuptome.”Shesaidwithasoftsmile.“Youcantake

mehomeifyou’vegotanearlymorning.”

“DoyouwanttogohomeLily?”

Shelookedatmethoughtfullybeforequietlyreplying.“No,Idon’twanttogohometonight.”

“Idon’thavetobeanywheretomorrowmorningandthisisexactlywhereIwantyoubaby.”

Shesatupandshimmiedtotheedgeofthebed.Shetookthetiefromherhairandletitfallin

thickwavesdownherback.Shesatdirectlyinfrontofme,herbeautifulfaceinlinewithmychest.I
tiltedherchinupandwatchedherbrowneyesdarkenwithneed.

“Tellmewhatyouwantsweetheart.”

“Iwantyou.Iwanttotasteyou.”shereplied.

IswallowedhardandthankedwhateverGodwasresponsibleforbringingthiswomanintomy

life.Shecarefullyundidthebuttononmyjeansandpulledthezipper,slidingthemdownmylegs
alongwithmyboxers.Mycockwashardashellassheputhersmallhandaroundthebase,hereyes
neverleavingmine.Shemotionedformetobackupasshesliddowntoherkneesinfrontofme.In
myentirelife,I’llneverforgettheimageofLilyusinghertonguetocapturethebeadofcumthatwas
drippingfrommydickinanticipation.Sheswallowedthatsmalldroplikeshecouldn’tlivewithout
it.Inearlycamewhenshetookmylengthintoherhot,wetmouth.HereyesfoundmineandI
groanedwithsatisfactionassheslidhermouthbackandforth,lickingeveryinchofme.Shemoved
herhandinsyncwithhermouthasIshovedmyhandsinhersofthairandencouragedhertomove

faster.ShemoanedwhenIgaveherhairagentletug.Thefactthatshewasgettingturnedonhadmy
ballstightening.Itriedtopullherupbutsheresistedandsuckedmeevenharder.

“FuckLily,I’mgonnacumifyoudon’tstop.”

ShelookedupatmeandsmiledaroundmycockbeforesuckingmesodeepthatIcouldfeelthe

backofherthroat.That’sallittooktosendmeovertheedge.Ishotintohereagermouthandshe
swallowedeverydrop.Iletgoofherhairandpulledheruptostand.Itookhermouthwith
desperationwhilewetoreateachother ’sclothes.TastingmyselfonherlipswashotasfuckandI
knewmycontrolwasslipping.Ispunheraroundandbroughtmyhanddowntoherasswithahard
smack.HergaspquicklyturnedtoamoanasIguidedherupontothebedonallfours.

“Assintheairbaby,Ineedtofuckyouhard.”

“GodyesCole,Iwantyousobad.”Islippedmyhandbetweenherlegsandswipedmyfingers

throughherwetfolds.ShepushedbackonmyhandasIslidonefingerintohertightpussy.“More,
please,Ineedmore!”Shesquirmedbeneathme,grindingherhipsback.

“You’realwayssowetformeLily,Ican’tgetenoughofyou.Whodoyoubelongtobaby?

Who’snameareyougonnascreamwhenyoucum?”

“YoursCole!I’mallyours!”Iremovedmyhandandslammedmycockinsideofher,pausingfor

onlyasecondbeforeIpulledallthewayoutandslammedbackin.Herknucklesturnedwhiteasshe
grippedthebedsheetsandpushedherhipsbacktomeetmyeverythrust.Therewasnothingsweet
aboutthewayourbodiesmetinafranticrhythm,desperatelychasingareleasethatwouldn’tbe
enoughforeitherofus.Ipumpedintoherhardandfast,IcouldfeelhertightenaroundmeasI
massagedherclitwiththesamefuriouspace.Shescreamedmynameandcamehard,squeezingmy
cock.Icamejustashardassherodethelastwaveofherorgasm.MyentirebodytensedasIpumped
hardintoheronefinaltime.Ileanedoverherandsweptthehairfromherneck,kissingandgently
grazingmyteethfromherneckallthewaydownherspinetothetwodimplesaboveherperfectass.I
reluctantlypulledmyselffromherheatandbroughtherpliantbodywithmeontothebed,herarm
drapedacrossmeandherhandplacedfirmlyovermyheart.Welaythereinsilenceasweboth
caughtourbreath.Shetracedherfingertipssoftlyovermyskin.

“WhatmadeyouchoosethenameLily?”Iasked.

Herfingerscontinuedtobrushovermyskin.“WhenIwasakidmymomusedtobuymea

bouquetoflilieseveryyearonValentine’sDay.I’dwakeupinthemorningandshe’dhavethem
placedinagreenvasebesidemybed.”Shelaughedsoftly.“Sheusedtotellmetheywerefrommy
secretadmirer.EvenafterIgotolderandfiguredoutitwasher,shekeptdoingit.”

Ilacedmyfingerswithhersandpulledhercloser.Shewasasleepwithinminutes,myowneyes

feelingheavynotlongafter.MyfinalthoughtbeforesleepclaimedmewasthatIwasn’tfallingin
lovewithLily.Ialreadylovedher.

Chapter11

Lily

Istumbledthroughthelivingroom.He’dhitmehardacrossthefaceandeverythingwasbeginning

toblur.ImadeittothedooroftheapartmentthinkingthatifIcouldjustgetitopenandcallforhelp,
theneighbourswouldcome.Ifumbledwiththedeadboltandalmosthaditunlockedwhenhegrabbed
myshouldersandspunmearound.IsawthevaseinhishandbutIwassodizzyIcouldn’tmoveoutof
theway.Hebroughtitupandinoneswiftblow,smasheditintothesideofmyhead.Everything
startedtodarken,thepainunbearable.Icouldfeelhishandsonmybody,evennow,shakingme.But
hewascallingmeLily,howdidheknowmynewname?

“Lily?Lily,wakeupbaby.It’sokay,I’mhere.”

Myeyessnappedopen,mybreathcomingingasps.Ifeltstrongarmsaroundmeandpushedback

withallmystrength.ThearmsreleasedmeandIskiddedbackonthebeduntilIwaspressedagainst
theframe.Ichantedthewordsinmyhead.IamLilyJensen,Iamsafe.

WhenIcouldfocusagain,IrealizeditwasCole’svoicethatpulledmefrommynightmareandhis

strongarmsthatheldme.Iswallowedthelumpinmythroat,myvoiceshakingasIspoke.

“Cole?”

Hewasbesidemeimmediately,hisarmstakingtheirrightfulplacewrappedaroundme.“I’m

here,you’resafe.”Hisdeepvoicesoothedmeasheheldmeandrockedmeinhisarms.“Nothingis
goingtohappentoyouLily,Ipromise.”Westayedlikethatuntilmybreathevenedoutandtheracing
ofmyheartsubsided.

“I’msorry,it’sbeenweekssinceIhadadreamlikethat.”Heplacedhishandsoneithersideofmy

faceandspokefirmly.“Hey,it’snotyourfault.Ihatewhatthatsonofabitchdidtoyouandthathe
stillhasthepowertocauseyoupain.Youdon’teverhavetoapologizeforanyofthis,you’renotto
blame.”

Hisangeronmybehalfandthecertaintyinhisvoicemadeiteasiertoaccepthiswordsastruth.

PartsofmypreviouslifewerestillintertwiningthemselvesintowhoIwastryingtobenow.Ihoped
thatonedaythosepartswouldbeburieddeepenoughthatIcouldnolongerheartheirvoices.

ThenextdayafterColedroppedmeoffImadesomephonecallsandgotanappointmentwitha

couselorintown.Ididn’twantthepainofmypasttoreignovermynewrelationshipwithCole.As
muchasIappreciatedhiscomfortlastnight,Ididn’twanttoputtheburdenofmyhealingsolelyon
hisshoulders.Iwantedtobebetterforhimandformyself.IwantedtobelievethatIdeservedtofind
happiness.Iwantedtobeabletotrustmyselfagain.ThepullIfeltinmyheartwhenIwaswithCole
wasstrong,butIfearedIwouldalwayssecondguessmychoicesifIdidn’tgethelp.

IspentmydayunpackingboxesandorganizingthenewbooksandtoysI’dordered.Colehad

someofhisguyscomeinovertheweekendtofinishthingsupandIwaspumpedtogeteverything
readyandhavemyfirstofficialstorytime.I’dgottenalotofpositiveresponseswhenImentionedit
tosomeofthemomsthatIknew.IdecidedtoholdacommunityBBQtobringattentiontothenew
programandsoIcouldgettoknowsomemorefamiliesinthearea.ImentionedtheideatoKate,
whoquicklyjumpedattheopportunitytohelporganizeeverything.Ihopedwe’dbeabletogetto
knoweachotherbetterandbecomefriends.Wedecidedthatwe’dplanfornextweekend,which
meantthisweekwouldbebusymakingthenecessaryarrangements.Monaofferedtohelpoutduring
herlunchbreaksandColewasn’texpectedtostartanewjobuntilthemiddleoftheweeksoheoffered
hisservicesaswell.ItfeltgoodtobebringingmyideastolifeanditfeltevenbettertoknowthatI
didn’thavetodoitalone.IwasmakingamentalnoteofwhereIwouldsetupthechildren’scostumes
whenthefrontdoorjingledopenandafamiliarlookingwomansteppedinside.Shelookedmeup
anddownandsmiledbroadly.

“Well,aren’tyoujustbeautifulsweetheart.”ThecomplimentbroughtasmiletomyfacebutI

couldn’tplacethewomangivingit.IwasabouttothankherandaskifwekneweachotherwhenKate
camebarrellingthroughthedoorbehindher.

“Geezwoman,forsomeonehalfpastfiftyyou’reprettydamnfast.Ican’tbelieveyoutrickedme

withOlive’scupcakes.Notcoolbirthgiver,notcoolatall.”Kategavemeapointedlook.“She’s
heretospyonyou.Don’tfallforthelittlesweetladyroutine,she’sasneakyasshole.”

“KathrynMargaretStone,justwhodoyouthinkyouarecallingyourownmotheranasshole?We

bothknowyou’retheasshole.”

“AndjustwhodoyouthinkIgotitfrom?”

TheolderwomanlookedaffectionatelyatKate.“You’remyfavouriteassholeKatie,andyou

alwayswillbe.”

“Ya,ya,Iloveyoutoo.Lily,thiswell-meaning,althoughsneakyasshole,isourmother.”

Ismiledandofferedthewomanmyhand.“Mrs.Stone,it’snicetomeetyou.”

Sheignoredmyhandandwrappedmeupinatighthug.“PleasecallmeJudy,Mrs.Stonewasmy

husband’sGodforsakenmother.”

“Wellit’snicetomeetyouJudy.”Itwasclearnowwhysheseemedsofamiliar.SheandKate

sharedthesamewavyblondehairandlightgreeneyes.KatewastallwhereasJudywaspetitebutthe
resemblancewasstrongbetweenthetwowomen.IalsorealizedthatI’dseenheraroundtown
before.IwasstillplacedfirmlyinhergraspwhenKate’svoiceinterrupted.

“OkayJudy,enoughofthishuggingcrap.LilyandIhaveworktodo,sojustgetitoverwith.”

IlookedbetweenthetwowomenasJudyreleasedmeandshotalookofannoyancetowardsher

daughter.“Lily,we’dlikeyoutocomeoverthisSundayforafamilydinner.Colementionedthatthe
twoofyouhavebeenseeingeachotherandwewouldlovetogettoknowyou.IpromisedhimI’dlet
himaskyoubutIwantedtoinviteyoumyself.”

“I’dloveto,thankyou.CanIbringanything?”

“Justyourselfdear,IsuspectColewillbecallingtomaketheplanshimselfbutyoucanjusttell

himwe’resetandsupperwillbeatseven.”Shegavemeanotherquickhugandwhisperedinmyear.
“Hedidn’ttelluseverythingLily,buthetoldmeenough.Iwantyoutoknowthatyou’vegotpeople
heresweetheart.”

Iblinkedbackthetearsinmyeyesandhuggedherback.“Thankyou.”

Sheleftinthesamewhirlwindfashionasherdaughter,thesimilaritiesbetweenthemclearly

extendedbeyondphysical.IsentColeaquicktextlettinghimknowthatplansforSundayhadbeen
made.Heapologizedfortheambushandthoughhefeignedannoyancewithhismother,Ihada
feelingheknewallalongthatshewouldtakeituponherselftotrackmedown.JudyStonewas
clearlyawomanwhotookmattersintoherownhands.HewasworriedIwouldbeupsetthathe
sharedsomeofmypastwithhisparentsbutIwasn’t.Ididn’twanttohidefortherestofmylifeand
ifIwasgoingtobeseriousaboutformingrealfriendshipsandhavingarealrelationshipwithCole,I
didn’twanttobelivingunderacloudofsecrecy.Ineededtotrustpeopleagain.Mypastwasfar
enoughawaythattherewasnoreasonIcouldn’tbehonestwiththepeopleinmynewlife.

KateandIgottoworkorganizingshelvesandmakinglistsofeverythingwewouldneedforthe

weekend.Wechattedasweworkedaboutnothingandeverything.Monacamebyonherbreakarmed
withcoffeeandpastriesandwecontinuedon.Monatalkedaboutthelastdateshe’dgoneonwitha
“boringashellaccountantwhoprobablyhadadollcollectioninhisbasement.”Itoldthemabit
aboutmymarriageandhowIendedupinBlueFalls.Ididn’tgetintospecificslikeIdidwhenItold
Cole,Ikeptitsimple.IwasinanabusiverelationshipandIleftwhenIhadthechancetostartanew
lifeformyself.IntypicalMonafashion,shevowedtocuthisdickoffwithherthinningshearsifhe
evercamelookingformewhileKatesurprisedmewithahandonmyshoulderandthereassurance
thatIwassafenow.Forthefirsttimeintwoyears,Iallowedmyselftobelievethosewordswhole
heartedly.

Chapter12

Cole

IfyouwouldhavetoldmeamonthagothatIwouldbewalkingintomykitchentoseeabeautiful

brunettebakingcupcakes,Iwouldhavethoughtyouwerefuckingcrazy.Yetthat’sthesightIhad
beforeme.LilywantedtomaketreatsforthekidsthatwouldbecomingtothecommunityBBQand
sinceherkitchenwastoosmall,Igaveherakeyandtoldhertousemyplaceforwhatevershe
needed.Shehadmusicplayinganddidn’thearmecomein.Ileanedagainstthedoorwayand
watchedwhileshepulledatrayoutoftheoven.Sheworedenimcutoffsandawhitetshirt.Rather
thanherusualsneakers,shewasbarefoot.Theredonhertoesmatchedthebrightapronshewore.
Nothinghadeverlookedsosexy.Herlonghairwastiedbackintoamessyponytailthatwasbegging
tobepulled.Iclearedmythroatjustasthesongendedandnewonebegan.Shespunaroundand
gavemeawidesmile.ThiswasdefinitelyasightIcouldgetusedto.

“Heyyou,howwasyourmeeting?”Sheputhertraydownandgavemeaquickkiss.Shesmelled

likechocolate.

“Itwasgood,wegotthegoaheadtogetstartedontheroadrepairsoffthemainhighway.”

“That’sgreat!”Shegavemeatriumphantgrinandbeganfrostingachocolatecupcake.Shehad

flouronhercheekandblueicingsmearedonherapron.Ipluckedacupcakeoffthecounterandateit
intwobites.“Haveyoubeenatthisallday?”

“Sincenoon,Katebroughtmeoutonherlunchbreak.”Shefinishedthelastcupcakeonthe

counterandlickedtheicingoffthespatulabeforetossingitinthesink.“Mmsogood.”

Theactwasinnocentbutitmademeinstantlyhard.SheturnedfromthesinkjustasIwas

adjustingmyself.Shetippedherheadtothesideandcrossedherarmsinfrontofherchest.“Really
Cole?Cupcakes?”Shesaidthewordswithateasingsmirk.

“Baby,youcouldbefryinguptofuinhereandI’dbehardjustfromwatchingyou.”

“Isthatso?”Shebeganuntyingherapronasshewalkedacrossthekitchen.Hershirtwentnext.

Shestoodinfrontofmeinnothingbuthershortsandaverysexyblackbra.Sheraiseduponhertip
toesandbroughthersoftlipstomyneck,gentlynippingandkissingherwaytomyear.“Iwas
thinkingofyouintheshowerthismorning.”

Mycockwentfromachingtopulsing.“Oh?Andjustwhatwereyouthinking?”Iwrappedmy

armsaroundherwaistandpulledhercloseenoughsoshecouldfeelwhatshedidtome.

Shecontinuedtowhisper,brushingherlipsalongmyjawasshespoke.“Iwaspretendingthatit

wasyourhandsonmyskin,washingme.Teasingme.”

“DidyoutouchyourselfLily?”

Sheletoutasoftmoanagainstmyneck.“Yes.”

Fuckme.Ibroughtmyhandstothesnaponhershorts.Ipulledthemdownhersmoothlegs,

alongwithherblacklacepanties.IcouldseehowwetandreadyshewasandIhadn’teventouched

heryet.Ireachedfortheclasponherbraanddrewitfromherperfecttits.

“Iwantyoutoshowmebaby.Showmehowyoutouchedyourselfthismorningwhileyouwere

imaginingitwasme.”

SheletoutasurprisedyelpwhenIhoistedherupandplacedheronthecountertop.Ibacked

myselfupandleanedagainsttheoppositecountersoIcouldfullyappreciatetheviewinfrontofme.
Shelookedatmewithhoodedeyesasshebroughtherhanddowntohernowdrippingpussy.She
brushedtwoofherslimfingersagainstherslitandbroughtthembackuptoherswollenclit.She
rubbedthembackandforthandbeganrockingherhips,grindingherselfagainstherhand.Hereyes
didn’tleavemine.Herbreathwascominginshortpuffsasshepushedonefingerinsideofherself
andthenanother.Herotherhandtraileduptooneofherperkytits,shetuggedonthehardrosybud
androlleditbetweenherfingers.Igrabbedthehemofmyshirtandpulleditovermyhead.Mycock
wasbeggingtogetout.Iremovedtherestofmyclothesinrecordtimeandbroughtmyhanddown
tomyragingdicktorelievesomeofthepressure.Lily’seyeswidenedwhenIbeganstrokingmyself
butherhandsremainedwheretheywere.

“ThisisallyouLily,everyinchofmydickishardbecauseofyou.”

Istalkedtowardsherlikeamanpossessed.HerlowmoansfilledtheroomandIcouldtellshewas

close.Iwantedtobetheonetosendherover.Iwantedtoowneverysingleoneofherorgasms.I
removedherhandfromherslickcenterandbroughtherdrenchedfingersuptomylips,kissingthe
tipsandsuckingthemintomymouth.Thetasteofherpussywaspurefuckingheaven.Ispreadher
thighswideandroughlyplungedtwoofmyfingersinsideher,curlingthemuptohithersweetspot.I
broughtmymouthtooneofhernipplesandsuckedthetightbudin,bitingitgentlyandreleasingit
withapop.Icouldfeelhertighteningaroundmyfingers.Iremovedmyhandandreplaceditwith
myeagercock,herhipsmetmyeverythrust.HernailsdugintomyshouldersasIliftedherfromthe
counterandspunherbackagainstthenearestwall,herlegswrappedtightlyaroundmewhileIdrove
intoher.Hermoansbecameincoherentwordsasherpussytightenedandherreleasefloodedme,I
camesohardI’msurprisedIdidn’tseestars.HerarmsandlegswrappedtightlyaroundmeasI
sloweddowntoastop.Mylipsfoundhersandtookadeepkiss.Iremainedinsideofherandtookus
downthehalltothebathroom.SheheldonwhileIturnedontheshower,ourbodiesstayedconnected
untilthehotwaterbegantospilloverus.Igentlyliftedherandplacedheronherfeetinfrontofme.
Wetookourtimewashingeachother.Icouldn’tstopmyhandsfromroamingoverthesoftnessof
hercurves.Whenthewaterturnedcold,Ipickedherbackupandtookustothebedroom.Wetook
ourtimeandeasedintoeachother,neverbreakingourhold.Ourhandslacedtogetheraswemoved
inasilentrhythmuntilwebothgaveintoourpleasure.Herbodyinstinctivelycurledintomine,the
familiartracingofherfingertipsovermyhardchestbroughtmeasenseofpeacethatIdidn’trealize
I’dbeenmissingalltheseyears.Iwassurebefore,butnowIknewwithoutadoubtthattherewasno
goingback.

Chapter13

Lily

TheweekendarrivedandIwasanxioustoseeourhardworkpayoff.IowedKateandMonabig

timeforalltheirhelp,Coletoo.OurescapadeinhiskitchenwasbyfarthemostbrazenthingIhad
everdone.HebroughtoutthisfreedomwithinmethatIdidn’tevenknowIhad.Hetookawaymy
inhibitionsandmademefeelconfident,notonlyphysicallybutemotionallyaswell.Thatnightwhen
welayinhisbedafterwordlesslytakingeachotheragain,IknewthatIhadfallenheadoverheelsin
lovewithhim.Iwantedtotellhim,andIwould,buttherewasstillasmallpartofmethatwasafraid
thiswasalltoogoodtobetrue.IwasterrifiedthatIwouldwakeupjustasbruisedandbrokenasI
wasbeforeandrealizethatthishadallbeenadream.FornowI’dkeepthewordsclosetomyown
heartandwhenIwasabletochipawayatthatlastpieceofdoubt,I’dtellhimthathenotonlyowned
mybodybutmysoulaswell.

IpeekedoutthewindowtowhereColeandhisfriendweresettinguptheBBQ’s.Traceseemed

likeagoodguyandhe’dbeenCole’sbestfriendsincetheywerekidssoImadeaconscienceeffort
nottojudgehimbasedonmypastexperience.Hehadacalmsmileandlaidbackattitudewhichmade
iteasytolikehim.Monainformedmethathewasterriblysluttyandlikelywouldn’tsettledown
unlesshellfrozeover.Shestatedmatteroffactthathishandsomefaceandhotasfucktattooedbody
weregoodforeyecandyandnothingelse.Thegoodnaturedwayinwhichshesaidittoldmethatshe
wasn’ttheleastbitoffendedbyhisbehaviour.Thefactthathewasstandingrightbesideherwhenshe
saiditprovedtheircomfortablefriendship.IfeltapangofsadnesswhenIthoughtaboutthefriendsI
usedtohave.WhenKevinbeganmanipulatinghowIspentmytime,theygraduallystoppedtrying
andIcouldn’tblamethem.BythetimeIrealizedhowbadthingswereinmymarriage,Iwastoo
ashamedtoreachouttoanyofthemforhelp.IwasstillashamedofthefactthatIwassoblindedby
hisinfluencethatIwillinglydiscardedyearsoffriendship.Itwastoolatetomendthosebridgesnow,
butIwouldnevermakethatmistakeagain.Ihadfoundagroupofpeoplewhowelcomedmewith
openarmsandthatissomethingIwouldnottakeforgranted.

ThefencedyardbehindthelibrarywasburstingwiththecitizensofBluefalls.Imademyway

aroundandintroducedmyselftothepeopleIdidn’talreadyknow.TheweatherwashotsoColeand
Tracebroughtoutwatergunsforthekidstoplaywith.AdecisionI’msuretheybothregrettedwhen
themobturnedagainstthemandtheyweresoakedheadtotoe.Cole’sparentscametooandIfound
myselfyetagainbroughtintoatighthug,thistimebyCole’sdad,Tim.Lookingathim,itwas
obviousthathetookgoodcareofhimself.I’devengoasfartosaythatCole’sdadwastotallyhot.
Hehadthesamethickdarkhair,justmoreonthesaltandpepperside,thesametannedcomplexion
andthesamestrongjaw.HetoweredoverJudyandhadthesamemuscularbuildasCole,nodoubt
fromalifespentdoingphysicallabour.JudyflittedaroundandmingledwithTimbyherside,
keepingafirmhandonthesmallofherback.ItwasclearthatCole’sparentswerestillverymuchin

loveandjudgingbythewayTim’shandmadeitswaydowntoherasswithasqueezeeverysooften,
theywerenotlackinginthepassiondepartmenteither.Iwasbringingatuboffreshiceouttheback
doorwhenKateapproachedmewithayoungmanwearingacameraaroundhisneck.

“Lily,thisisBrandon,he’sworkingattheMayor ’sofficethissummeraspartofourstudentwork

program.”

“NicetomeetyouBrandon.”Heshookmyhandwhileafuriousblushworkeditswayuphisneck.

Hewastoocute.

“Brandon’sotherjobistotakepicturesforthetownpaper,he’dliketotakeacoupleofthenew

kid’scornerifyoudon’tmind?”

“Ofcoursenot,comeonin.”

IsetdowntheplastictubandledBrandontothenewspace.Hetookacoupleofpicturesandat

Kate’sinsistencetookoneofherandIinfrontofthenewdressupcorner,herarmdrapedaroundmy
shouldersandaproudsmileuponmyface.

Theafternoonfadedintoevening,thelastofthetown’speoplefilteredoutwithmurmursof

appreciationandenthusiasm.Iwasbeyondexhaustedbuttherewasstillthemesstobecleanedup.
Colestayedbehindandhauledfullgarbagebagsouttothedumpsterinthealley.Iwaswipingdown
thelastofthefoldingtableswhenhisarmscamearoundmefrombehind.

“Youdidgoodtodaybabe,I’mproudofyou.”Hesweptmyhairtothesideandkissedthebackof

myneck.Iturnedtofacehimandmethisstarewithmyown.ThewordsIsodesperatelywantedto
saywereonthetipofmytonguewhenwewereinterruptedbyMona’sbellowingvoicedemanding
wefindaroomtobangeachotherin.Hertimingwasterriblebutherveryvocalentrancemadeus
bothsmile.

“Whatareyoudoingback?Ithoughtyouleftalready.”

“AsifI’dleaveyouwiththisdisastermonami.Iwenttogetbeer.”Justthen,KateandTracemade

theirwayaroundthecornerwithtwolargepizzaboxes.

“Wesodeservepizzaandbeerafterallthiswork.”Katesaid.

Tracenoddedinagreeance.“EspeciallyafterthoselittleshitsturnedonColeandme.Myballs

arestillshiveringfromthaticewaterattack.”

Monashothimasmirk.“Servesyourightforgivingthosebratstheweaponsdumdum.”

Wepassedthepizzaaroundandfellintoeasyconversation.Thecoldbeerwentdownnicelyaswe

cleanedupthelastofthemess.TraceandMonakepttherestofusentertainedwiththeirbanter.I
thoughtmaybetherewassomethingbetweenthematsomepointbutwhenIbroughtitupIwasshut
downimmediatelywithadamantprotestsfrombothofthem.Apparentlytheirrelationshipwasand
alwayswouldbestrictlyplatonic.TheirteasingcontinuedwhenTrace’sphonewentoff,hegaveita
quickglanceandtypedaresponse.

“Well,ifwe’redonehereyou’regoingtohavetoexcuseme.Dutycalls.”hesaid.

“OhIdidn’trealizeyouwereoncall,youdidn’thavetostay.”Iwasmetwithanamusedgrin

fromKatewhowasquicktosetmestraight.

“He’snotoncallhoney,he’sgoingtogethisdicksucked.”

Monawasequallyquicktochimein.“Ugh,pleasetellmethatwasn’tMelissathehoovervac

textingyou.Iwishyou’dstopbangingthatawfultroll.”

“Now,nowladies,noneedtogetjealous.I’mhappytoacceptyourservicesshouldyoufeelthe

needtoofferthem.”HisresponseearnedhimaglarefromKateandaslaponthebackofthehead
fromMona.HechuckledandnarrowlydodgedthewetragColetossedathim.“Isthatanothen?
Alright,you’veforcedmeintothearmsofthehoovervac,Ihumblyacceptyourdecision.”Hegave
meaquickkissonthecheekmuchtoCole’sdismayandwentonhisway.Hislaughterechoedeven
afterheroundedthecornerofthebuilding.

MonaandKateleftsoonafter,theydecidedtokeepthenightgoingandheadedtoMac’s.Ihadmy

bagpackedtospendthenightatCole’sbutwewerebothsodrainedwedecidedtostayatmyplace
instead.HeinsistedthatIgoaheadwhilehelockedupforthenight.MylegsobjectedasIclimbed
thestairsbutthethoughtofahotbathkeptmemoving.Iquicklytidiedupmydishesfromthat
morningandthrewthepileofunfoldedlaundryonmycouchintothelinencloset.Goodenough.I
gotthetubgoinganddumpedageneroussplashofmyfavouritebubblebathintotherunningwater.
ThescentoflavenderandlemonfilledtheairasIpeeledoffmyclothesandthrewmyhairupintoa
messyknot.Mystiffmusclesrelaxedinstantlyinthehotwater.Ileanedbackandclosedmyeyes.

Chapter14

Cole

Itookoutthelastofthetrashandlockedthebackdoor.Lilywasnearlydeadonherfeet,I’dbe

surprisedifshewasn’talreadypassedoutupstairs.Iwassodamnproudofherforalltheworkshe
putintotoday.AfarcryfromtheshywomanIfirstmet,theLilyIsawtodayputherselfoutthere
withconfidenceandease.Ihadnodoubtthathernewprogramwouldbepopular.Shewasgreatwith
kidsanditseemedasthoughthewholetownthoughthighlyofher.Shewaskindandpatientwiththe
olderfolkswhentheywantedtolearntheropesonsocialmediaandmorethanoncetodayIsawher
entertainingseveralsmallerkidssothattheirparentscouldhavesomethingtoeat.Iwasaluckyson
ofabitchtobeabletocallhermine.I’dalsonoticedmorethanonesetofwanderingeyeschecking
herouttoday.Icouldn’tblamethem.Thedressshehadonfitherlikeasecondskinbutthatdidn’t
stopmefromgraspingherhandwithminetoshowthemshewasofflimits.

Idraggedmyfeetupthestairstoherapartment,thinkingahotshowerwouldfeelgoodrightabout

now.Ikickedoffmyshoesandpeekedoveratherbed,expectingtoseeherfastasleep.Shewasn’t
theresoIcontinuedtothebathroomwhereIcaughtthefaintsmellofflowers.Istoodinthedoorway
andtookinthesightofLilycompletelyrelaxed,surroundedbybubblesandcandlelight.Shelooked
sopeaceful,likeshedidn’thaveacareintheworld.Shelazilyopenedhereyesandgavemeaslow
smile.

“Youknow,Ibetthistubisbigenoughfortwo.”Hervoicewassoftandsleepy.

Iwasn’tabouttoturndowntheinvitation.Iundressedquicklywhileshewatchedmewithblatant

appreciation.MycockwasalreadyhalfhardandbobbedagainstmystomachasImovedtowardthe
tub.Shesatup,movingforwardtogivemeenoughroomtoslideinbehindherandpromptlyleaned
backintome.Iputmyarmsaroundherandusedmyhandstoscoopupthebubblesandrubthemup
andoverherarmsandshoulders.

“Thankyouforallyourhelpthislastweek,Icouldn’thavedoneanyofitwithoutyouand

everyoneelsetakingthetimetopitchin.”shesaid.

“Noneedtothankme,Iwashappytohelp.”Ibroughtherhandtomymouthandbrushedmylips

againsthersoftskin.Shesatupandturnedtofaceme,bendingherlegsandplacingoneonhereither
sideofmesoIwassnugbetweenherthighs.Shelightlyranherfingersthroughmyhairand
broughtthemtorestbehindmyneck.Hereyesfoundmineassheleanedforwardandbroughther
lipstentativelytomine.IcouldsensethatitwasimportantforhertotakecontrolthistimeandIwas
morethanhappytoletherruntheshow.Herkisswassoftbutsure,shenippedgentlyatmybottom
lip.Iwaitedforhertoopenhereyes.

“Takewhateveryouneedbaby,I’llgiveyouanything.”AndImeantit.

Shenoddedandpartedherthighsuntilmycockwasrunningalongherwetfolds.Shelifted

herselfupandusedherhandtoguidemetoherentrance.Shesliddownmylengthinoneslowthrust,
hereyesneverleavingmine.Alowmoanescapedherthroatwhenshebottomedout,myentirecock
nowburieddeepinsideofher.Shebegantomove,grindingherswollenclitagainstmewithevery

pushofherhips.Ibroughtmyhandstoherhairandtiltedherheadback,bringingmymouthtoher
neckIswirledmytongueoverthesilkyskinaboveherpulse.Wemovedslowly,likewehadallthe
timeintheworld.Ileanedback,myhandsnowfirmlygrippingherhips.Hereyeswerestillonme,
herbreathcomingingaspsassherodemycocklikeaqueen.“That’sitbaby,takemycocklikeit
wasmadejustforyou.”Shepickedupherspeed,herbeautifultitsbouncingashertightpussy
continuedtosuckmein.

“I’msocloseCole,youfeelsogoodinsidemebaby.Ineedmore.”

Itightenedmygriponherhipsandbuckeduphard.Watersplashedaroundusasourbodiescame

togetherwitheachfiercestrike.Hernailsdugintomyshoulders,hercorepulsingaroundme.“Oh
Cole,ohGodyes,don’tstop!”Shecameundoneinmyarms,Ipoundedfuriouslyintoherandcame
withashout.“Fuck!”

Oursatedbodiesslowedtoastop,ourarmsaroundeachotherfirmly.Myeyesopenedwhenshe

begantogiggleintomyneck.“UmCole?”

“Yeahbabe.”

“Ithinkweneedtogetamop.”

Ilookeddownandrealizedthetubwasnearlyempty,waterandbubblesdrippedoverthesidesand

coveredthebathroomfloor.“Mm,itwasworthitthough,wasn’tit?”

“Bestbubblebathever.”sherepliedlazily.

Chapter15

Lily

Iawokethenextmorningtofindanoteonthepillowbesideme.

Goodmorningbeautiful,wenthometograbclothes.Ididn’twanttowakeyou,I’llbebacksoon

withbreakfast.

-C

Ipeeledbackthesheetsandslippedonanoldtshirtandsomeboyshortsandpaddedtothe

bathroom.Icaughtaglimpseofmyselfinthemirror.Mymessyhairandthefaintredmarksalong
myneckmademelookthoroughlydishevelled.Andcompletelyhappy.Ibrushedmyteethandrana
combthroughmytangledhair.Spottingthemopagainstthetubgavemeavividrecollectionoflast
night.I’dwantedtoshowColejusthowmuchIneededhim.Iwantedtogivehimthesatisfactionof
knowingwhathedidtome.Whenheleanedbackandletmetaketheleaditwasasifhewasreading
mymind,thedesireinhiseyesmeltedawaymyhesitation.WhenhelookedatmeIfeltlikethemost
beautifulwomanintheworld.IfeltcherishedandsafeinawaythatIcouldn’tdescribe.

IputonsomecoffeeandsettledontothecouchwithmyKindlewhileIwaitedforhimtoreturn.

I’dbeensobusylatelyandIhadplentyofreadingtocatchupon.IwasacouplechaptersintoMJ
Summers’newnovelwhenColecamethroughthedoorcarryingabagfromOlive’s,thesmellof
pureblissimmediatelyfilledmytinyapartment.

“Mm,isthatwhatIthinkitis?”EverythingOlivemadewastrulydeliciousbuthersconeswere

particularlyamazingandequallyaddictive.

“Onlythebestformygirl.”Hesaidwithasexywink.Ileanedupforaquickkiss,themasculine

scentofhissoaphadmelingeringforanotherbeforeIsnatchedthebagfromhishandandbreathed
inthearomaofcinnamonandblueberries.“Heynow,I’mbeginningtothinkyou’rehappiertosee
thatbagthanyouareme.”

“Ohit’saverythinlinebetweenthetwo.”Islatheredbutteronthewarmsliceofheavenandletit

meltinmymouth,moaningintheprocess.IopenedmyeyestofindColestandinginfrontofme.

“Ifyoukeepthatupbaby,we’renevergoingtomakeittomyparents’place.”Heusedhismouth

topluckthelastbitefrommyfingersandmoanedhisownappreciationforthedeliciouspastry.Ihad
forgottenaboutourplanstospendthedayathisparents’place.Istillneededtoshowerandgetready
butmyfeetremainedplanted.

“Ishouldreallygoandgetready.”Iremainedstill.

“Yeah,youreallyshould.”Heremainedinmyway.

Breakfastforgotten,onesteamyshowerandtwoorgasmslater,wewerefinallyonourwayto

SundaydinnerattheStone’s.

TimandJudyStonelivedonalargeacreagejustsouthoffthemainhighwayleadingintoBlue

Falls.Wefollowedabeautifultreelineddrivewayuptoastunningtwostoryfarmstylehouse.
Gleamingwhitewithblueshuttersandabrightreddoor,completewithawrap-arounddeckanda
smallfountaininthefrontyard.Thewholescenelookedlikeitbelongedinamagazine.Coletoldme
onthedriveoutthathisdadbeganbuildingthehouseshortlyafterKatewasborn,addingonasthe
yearswentby.

MyhandwasalreadyonthedoorwhenweslowedtoastopandColeparkedbehindasmall

tractor.Iwasitchingtogetoutandexplore.Isteppedoutofthetruckandwasgreetedbyavery
excitedalthoughveryunattractivedog.Ikneltdownandstrokedhisearswhilehecontinuedtosniff
andcirclearoundme.

“Hitheresweetheart,aren’tyoujustthefriendliestthing,yesyouare.”Iwasstillpettingmynew

friendwhenColeroundedthetruck.Hepattedhisleg.“ComehereAsshole.”

“Excuseme?”

“Notyoubabe,thedog.Hisnameisasshole.”Hesaidwithagrin.

“YourparentshaveadognamedAsshole?”

“Actuallyhe’sKate’s.Shefoundhimintheditchwhenweshewascominghomefromthesenior

prom.Hestaysoutherebecauseshecan’thavepetsinherapartmentintown.”

“Oh.”Ilookedatthedog’saffectionateeyesandwaggingtailandfellalittlebitinlovewiththe

mangything.“It’snicetomeetyouAsshole.”

Colethrewhisheadbackwithalaughandgrabbedmyhand.Weleftassholetogoabouthis

businessandmadeourwayuptothehouse.Thebigreddooropenedjustaswereachedthefirststep
ontothedeck.Judystoodinthedoorwaywearingabrightpinkapronthatsaid“willcookforsex”.

“JesusMom.”

“What?Ohstop,I’msureLilyissmartenoughtoknowthatyourfatherandIhavesexnowand

then.Isn’tthatrightLily?”

“Sure.ImeanIhadn’treallythoughtaboutit,butitmakessense.Ilovethecolour.”

“Thankyoudear,comeonin.”Iwaswrappedinaquickhugandpointedinthedirectionofthe

kitchen.“Yougoaheadhoney,wecanhavegirltimeinthekitchenwhileColeandhisdaddrinkbeer
andgossipoutback.”IsnickeredathisexpressionanddidwhatIwastold.

ShegaveColealoudkissonthecheekandshooedhimintheotherdirection.

“Mendon’tgossipMom.”

“Whateveryousaydear.”Ididn’teventrytohidemylaughasIwalkedintothemassivekitchen.

Ahighceilingandlargebaywindowsfilledtheroomwithnaturallight.Rusticwoodcabinetslined
onewallwhilealargebrightbluesolidwooddiningtablestoodalongtheother.Mismatcheddining
chairssurroundeditcomfortably.ItwasclearthatJudyhadveryeclectictastebutitsuitedherwell
andshe’ddecoratedthespaceinawaythatwasstylishandnotoffensive.Iwasadmiringasmall
stackofvintageteacupswhenJudycamein.

“Youwantabeerhoney?Ithinktheremightbesomefancywineinthebackofthefridgeifyou’d

prefer.”

“Abeerwouldbegreat,thanks.”Shegrabbedtwofromthefridgeandpassedmeone.She

clinkedherbottletomine.“ToLydia.”shesaid.

“Who’sLydia?”Iasked.

“Lydiawasmygrandmother.ShepassedawayshortlyafterTimandIgotmarried.”Shereplied

thoughtfully.“Shewasarealpieceofworkthatwoman.Hardheaded,kind,andshecoulddrinkany
manunderthetable.That’sactuallyhowshemetmygrandfather.Hewasinthepubonenightafter
workwithhisbuddieswhenhespottedhersittingupatthebarbyherself.Heaskedhertojointhem
andofcourse,beingthetypeofwomanshewassherefusedpurelyonprinciple.Sohemadehera
deal,ifshecoulddofourshotsofbourbonbacktoback,standupandspininacircle,he’dleaveher
alone.Butifshestumbled,shehadtocomeandsitwithhimandhisfriends.SoLydiawavedthe
bartenderoverandgothershotslinedup.Onebyone,sheslammedthemdownwithoutevenahint
ofhesitation.Shegotup,spunherselfinacircleandprimlyreturnedtoherstool.Mygrandfather
droppedtohiskneesrightthereatthebarandbeggedhertomarryhim.Shecalledhimanasshole
andagreedimmediately.Theyweremarriedforfiftyyears.”

“Well,inthatcase,toLydia.”Itookanothersipofmycoldbeerandsmiledatthethoughtof

spendingfiftyyearswiththepersonyoulove.

JudyandIspentthenexthourvisitinginthekitchen.Itoldheraboutmyparentsandabout

growingupinabigcity.Shesaidmyparentssoundedlikewonderfulpeople.Ifeltproudsharing
theirmemorywithherandIappreciatedhowgenuineshewaswhenshesaiditwasashamethey’d
nevergettomeet.Katearrivedeventuallyandthethreeofusworkedtogethertogetdinneronthe
table.JudybeganassemblingadelicioussmellinglasagnawhileIgotthegarlicbreadintheoven.
Katewasdelegatedtoopeningabagofpremadesalad.

“I’mcapableofdoingmorethanopeningabagyouknow.”shesaid.

Judyrespondedwithoutlookingupfromthepastashewasdraining.“Katehoney,Iloveyoumore

thananythinginthisworld,butyoumygirlareaterriblefuckingcook.”

Chapter16

Cole

Dinneratmyparents’housewassomethingItriedtodoonceeverycoupleofweeks.I’dnever

broughtawomantherebutwithLilyIhadnohesitationastowhetherornotIwantedherthere.Ilet
mymomtakeherhostageinthekitchenwhileIcameoutbacktoenjoythequietwithmyoldman.I
can’trememberatimethatIdidn’tgetalongwithmydadandthemoretimeIspentwithLily,the
moreIlookedforwardtohavingthesamerelationshipwithmyownkids.ThethoughtofLilyround
withmychildwassomethingthatcrossedmymindmorethanonce.

“Youknow,whenIfirstmetyourmotherIimagineIhadthesamelookonmyface.”Mydadsaid,

handingmeanotherbeer.

“YouwereinkindergartenandthewayMomtellsit,youwereacompletejerkandmadeherlife

miserable.”Irepliedwithachuckle.

“True.ButIknewthefirsttimeIsawherontheplaygroundthatshewasspecial.Shewasloudand

different,alotmessierthantheotherlittlegirls.SheusedtowearthisbrightgreenjacketthatIswear
youcouldseefrommilesaway.AndaswegrewupIbegantoappreciateallthosethingsthatmade
herdifferent.Andshegotboobs.”

“Ugh,pleasesparemethethoughtofmymothergettingboobs.”Ishuttered.

Hetookalongpullfromhisbeer.“Mypointis,whenyouknow,youknow.Doesn’tmatterifit’s

onaplaygroundwhenyou’resixyearsoldorwhenyou’rethirty.Whenyoufindsomeonethatyou
imagineyoucan’tlivewithout,youdowhateveryoucantoprovetothemthatyou’reaworthychoice
becausewomenlikethatdon’tcomearoundeveryhour.”

Justthenthekitchenwindowpoppedopened.“Youhandsomesonsofbitchesbettergetinhere

beforeweeatallthisfood!”

Wemadeourwayinside,thesmellofahomecookedmealmademystomachgrowlin

anticipation.Lilywasopeningtheovenandpullingoutsomebread.SheturnedtofacemeandI
swearhersmilelituptheentireroom.Ilookeddownandnoticedthatshewaswearinganapronthat
said“willgetnakedforbacon”.Sheshruggedhershouldersatmyinquiringgrinandwentabouther
task.

Wetookourseatsaroundthebigbluetable,liftedourdrinkstoLydiaanddugin.Asusual,the

conversationdidn’tstopevenasweate.Mymotheralwaysusedtotellusthatnoonereallygavea
shitaboutmannersanyways,justaslongasyouwererespectfulanddidn’tinterrupt.

“IspoketoAsher ’smomtheotherday,haveyouheardanythingfromhimlatelyKate?”My

motherasked.TheMontgomery’shadbeenfriendswithmyparentssincetheymovedtoBlueFalls

yearsago.Asherwastheirsonandwascurrentlyservinginthemilitary.ThelastIheardhewasjust
deployedforasecondtimetoAfghanistan.HeandKatehadbeentightaskidsandIknewshewas
sendinghimlettersandpackageswhilehewasaway.

“Igotanemailfromhimlastweeksayinghewouldbeoutoftouchforafewweeks,hesaidnotto

worrythough.Why?Hasshehearddifferent?”

Theconcerninhervoicewasobvious.I’dsuspectedforyearsthatshefeltmoreforhimthanjust

friendship,despiteherobjections.Sheneveradmittedordeniedanythingandforsomeoneashonest
asKate,thatmeantitwaslikelycomplicated.

“No,Idon’tthinkso.YouknowusMothers,sheworriesabouthimthat’sall.”

ShegaveKate’shandasqueezeandpromptlychangedthesubject.“So,Lily,haveyougot

anymoreplansfornewprogramsatthelibrary?”

LilyandmymomtalkedbookswhileIfilledmyDadinonthehighwayconstructionwewere

currentlyworkingon.KatesnuckAssholechunksofbreadunderthetableassheoftendid.Itwasa
typicalnightattheStonehouseholdandLilyfitrightinasIknewshewould.Mydad’swordsfrom
earliersatheavyinthebackofmymind.Iknewhewasright,Ineededtodowhateverittookto
provetoLilythatIwasworthtakingachanceonforthelonghaul.

AfterdinnerLilyinsistedIshowheraroundtheproperty.Therewasachillintheair,Ipulledher

closetomysideandwrappedmyarmsecurelyaroundthesoftcurveofherwaist.Ishowedherthe
treefortthatKateandIbuiltwhenwewereyoungerandthesmallpondthatshebeggedmydadtodig
outsothatherdollswouldhavesomewheretoswim.TheappreciationthatLilyhadforsuchsimple
thingswashumblingtosaytheleast.Havinggrownupinthecity,shewasadamantthatherparents
didtheirbesttogiveheroutdoorexperiencesbutshesaidnothingcomparedtothecountrysidethat
surroundedus.

Itwasdarkbythetimewegotbacktothehouse.Themoonwasbright,castingaglowonthepath

infrontofus.IthoughtLily,nakedandwet,surroundedbybubbleswasbreathtakingbutitwas
nothingcomparedtoherinthemoonlight.Wesaidgoodbyetomyparents,Katehavingalreadyleft.
Lilyindulgedmymotherbyacceptingenoughleftoverstofeedasmallarmy.

“Thankyousomuchforeverything,it’sbeenawhilesinceIhadafamilydinnerandIdidn’t

realizehowmuchImissedthem.”Lilysaidwithasmile.

“You’reverywelcomehoney,comeoveranytimeyoulike.Withorwithouttheboy.”Lily

chuckledasmymomgaveherafirmhug.ShewhisperedsomethingtoherthathadLily’seyes
glistening.Igaveheraquestioninglookaswemadeourwaytomytruckbutsheshookherhead
slightly.Itookherhandinmineandgaveitagentlesqueeze.

Itwasn’tuntillaterthatnightafterwe’dexhaustedourselvesintoatangleoflimbsthatIthoughtto

askwhatmymomhadsaidtoherbeforeweleft.Lilycontinuedtracingsmallcirclesovermyheart
asshespokesoftly.

“ShetoldmethatIhadafamilynow,whetherIwanteditornot.ShesaidthatIdidn’thaveto

replaceallthepartsbelongingtowhoIusedtobebutthatIshouldmakesurethatLilygetsan
opportunitytohavethemaswell.”

Theuncertaintyinhervoicemademeache.Shelookedupatme,herdeepbrowneyesfilledwith

hopeandhesitation.“Iknowithasn’tbeenthatlongandIknowthatthisisprobablytoofastandI
don’twanttopushormakeyoufeellikeyouowemesomet-“

“Lily?”

“Yeah?”

“Iloveyou.”

Herhesitationturnedtosurprise.Herhandstilledonmychestwhilehereyescontinuedtosearch

mine,almostasifshewaswaitingformetochangemymindortakeitback.

“IloveyouLily,itfeelslikeI’vebeenwaitingmyentirelifeforyou.”Shesmiledupatmeasher

eyesbrimmedwithtears.

“Iloveyoutoo,IloveyousomuchCole.”

Itookhermouthinademandingkiss.HearingthosewordsonLily’ssweetlipsoverwhelmedme

withtheneedtodevourher.Irolledherontoherbackandcagedherbeneathme.Shesurrenderedto
mecompletely,archingherhipsuptomeetmine.Thescentofherarousalwasintoxicating.Ipulled
backslightly,grazingmyteethalongherfullbottomlip.Icravedthetasteofheronmytongue.The
loveIfeltforherwasraw,theneedtoworshipherconsumedme.Isavoredeveryinchofher
delicateskinfromherneckdowntothepatchofsoftcurlsbetweenherperfectthighs.Ilickedthe
lengthofherwetseamandsuckedherclitintomymouth,gentlyteasingtheswollenbundleof
nerves.Sheshudderedbeneathmeandclutchedthesheets.

“Cole!Please,Ineedmore!”

Iplungedtwofingersinsideher,greedilycollectinghersweetnectarbeforebringingmyhandup

tohergaspingmouth.

“Ineedtowatchyoutasteyourselfbaby.”Shecompliedimmediately,suckingmyfingersbetween

herlips,usinghertonguetolickoffeverydrop.Thegrowlthatcamefromdeepinmychestcould
onlybedescribedasprimal.InoneswiftmoveIbroughtmybodybackoverhers,thetipofmycock
slidingagainsthertightpussy.Shemovedherhipsbeneathme,desperatelytryingtotakeinmy
throbbinglength.Iheldbackwithbarelyashredofcontrol.

“LookatmeLily.”Herdarkeyesmetmine,drunkwithpleasure.“Tellmeagain.”Understanding

dawnedandsheleaneduptopresshersoftlipstomychest.

“IloveyouCole.”

Isankintohertightheatinonethrust.“Iloveyoutoobaby.”Iclaspedherhandswithinmine,

interlacingourfingersandplacingthemaboveherhead.Nearlyeveryinchofourbodieswere
touchinganditstillwasn’tenoughtoeasemyneedforher.Herlegswrappedtightlyaroundme,her
heelsdiggingintomyback.Ipoundedintoherruthlessly,givingintothebeastwithinmethat
couldn’tseemtogetenough.

“LetgowithmeLily,IwannafeelyourpussysuckmeinwhenIcuminsideyou.”Shecriedoutat

mydemandandwecametogether,herpussysuffocatingmycockasIreleasedinsideherinlong
strokes.Iletgoofherhandsandbroughtminegentlytoeithersideofherflushedcheeks.The
cravinginmenowtemporarilysated,Ikissedhertenderly.

“IloveyouLily,nothingwillchangethat.”

Chapter17

Lily

Myskinfeltwarmunderthebrightnessofthesun,thebreezecominginoffthewaterprevented

theheatfrombecomingunbearable.Itwasabeautifuldayandweweretakingfulladvantageby
spendingthedayatthelake.MonaandTracewereoutonthewaterwiththeirpaddleboardswhile
KateandIsatonthebeachrelaxing.Colehadsomepaperworktofinishupthismorningbutwould
soonbeonhisway.It’sbeenjustoveramonthsincethenightwehaddinnerathisparent’shouse.
Wehaven’tspentasinglenightapartsincethenandifColehashiswaythearrangementwillsoonbe
permanent.It’snotthatIdon’twanttomoveinwithhimbutaftertalkingitoutwithmycounselorI
decidedthatitwasreallyimportantformetomaintainsomeofmyindependence.IlovedColewith
everythinginmeandIknewhe’dneverabusemytrust,butIwantedtomakesurethatwhenwedid
takethingstothenextlevelIwouldhavetheconfidencetotrustmyself.Ididn’twanttosecondguess
mychoicesandendupresentinghimbysimplygivingintowhathewants,whenhewantsit.He’s
beenincrediblysupportiveandtellsmetotakeallthetimeIneedbutthatdoesn’tstophimfrom
droppingconstanthintsabouthowmucheasieritwouldbeifallmythingswereathisplace.

IpickedupmyKindlejustasaverylargeshadowloomedovermyshoulder.Icouldsmellthe

soapfreshonhisskintheminuteheleanedoverandpluckedatthethinstringholdingmybikini
bottomstogether.

“Mmm,ifI’dhaveknownthisiswhatyou’dbewearingIwouldhavebeenherealotsooner.”He

growledagainstmyshoulder,sinkinghisteethgentlyintomyskin.

IputmyKindledownandlookedupathimteasingly.“Oh?Doyoulikemybathingsuit?”

“Ifuckinglovethisbathingsuit,I’mgonnatakethedamnthingoffwithmyteethlater.”

HeleaneddownandgavemealongkissthatIfeltallthewaydowntomytoes.Iswear,Iwould

nevergetsickofbeingkissedlikethis.Katedidn’thesitatetointerruptthemoment.“Okaylove
birds,you’remakingthesinglepeopleherewanttooffthemselves,saveitforthebedroom.”

Igiggledandgentlyshovedathischest.Hestretchedoutontheblanketbesidemeandreachedfor

asodafromthecooler,chuckingapieceoficeatKateintheprocess.TraceandMonacameinfrom
thewater,drippingwetandarguingaboutwhobumpedintowhom.

“It’sabouttimeyoumadeitman,leavingmealonewiththesewomenwasgivingmeovaries,I

swear.”

Monashookthewaterfromherdarkhair.“Ohplease,youwishyouhadladyparts,thenmaybe

youcouldjustplaywithyourselfinsteadofwhoringaroundallthetime.”Hecaughtthetowelshe
threwathisfacejustasawomanapproacheduswearingaverytinyredbikini.

“Speakofthedevil.”Monamutteredunderherbreath.

“Trace,baby,Ididn’tknowyouwereofftoday.”Theeagerblondebounceduptohimandranher

skinnyfingerdownhischest.“I’vemissedyou.”Shewhined.

AsnortfromKatehadtheblondeshootingheraharshglareandpressingherbodycloserto

Trace.

“StillhangingoutwiththeuptightprudeandthewhitetrashIsee.”Shehissed,lookingfromKate

toMona.

Tracepulledfromhertightgrip.“BeniceMelissa.”Hewarned.

“NoneedtodefendourhonourTrace.”Monasaid,bringingherselftoetotoewiththemuchtaller

woman.“Weallknowshe’sjustawarmholeforyoutostickyourcockinwhenyou’refeeling
lonely.”ThisearnedachucklefromCole,alaughdisguisedasacoughfromTraceandaveryvocal
“amen”fromKate.

“Ya,wellatleastIhavesomeonewhowantsme,yourownmotherdidn’tevenwantyou.”Shespat.

TracesteppedbetweenthetwowomenjustasMonawasabouttochargeforward.Theangerinhis

voicepalpable.“GetoutofhereMelissa.”Hegroundoutbetweenclenchedteeth.

“ButTrace,shestartedit.”ShestuckoutherlipinapoutandIwasseriouslybeginningto

questionTrace’stasteinwomen.

“Isaidgetlost.Usfuckingisonethingbutyouwon’tdisrespectmyfriendslikethat.Because

that’sallwedoisfuck.Nothingmore.”Hisvoicewascoldandcalm.Sheshovedathisshoulder
beforeturningonherheelandstalkingbackinthesamedirectionshecame.

Monahadn’tmovedaninch,hereyesstaringblanklyatthesand.Iplacedmyhandonher

shoulder,jarringherfromherthoughts.“Areyouokay?”

“Ofcourse!”Shelaughed.“AsifI’dletthatpsychoruinmyday,Traceyoureallyneedtofind

somewhereelsetostickit.”Helookedatherthoughtfullyandopenedhismouthtospeak.

“Don’t.”Shecuthimoff.“Itdoesn’tmatter,let’sjustforgetaboutit,okay?”

Henoddedbutdidn’tsayanything.Katespokeupnext.“Sooooo,let’sgetthosepaddleboards

backoutthereandIcanshowyoulosershowit’sreallydone.”

“You’redreaminglittlesister,youhavethecoordinationofadrunkape.”Colesnorted.

Thesubjectnowsecurelychanged,wespenttherestoftheafternoonenjoyingthewater.The

momentaryriftbetweenMonaandTracewascompletelyforgottenwithinthehourandtheywentback
totheirusualsiblinglikerivalry.Kateprovedtobe,infact,veryuncoordinatedandspentmoretime
climbingbackontheboardthenactuallystandingonit.Itwasaperfectday,whichshouldhavebeen
myfirsthint.Iignoredthevoiceinmyheadthatremindedmethatwhensomethingseemstoo
perfect,itusuallyis.

Justbeforesuppertime,Colegotacallfromoneofhismechanicsneedinghimtocomeandsign

offonsomeequipmentrepairs.MonahadgonestraighthomeafterthelakeandTracewastakinga
partialshiftforoneoftheotherhighwayofficers.Kateofferedtomakeussomethingtoeat,I
quicklydeclinedbutsuggestedweheadtoMac’sforaburgerinstead.Wefoundatableinthe
crowdedpubandsplitasmallpitcherofbeerwhilewewaitedforourfood.

“Sowhat’sthedealbetweenMonaandMelissa?”I’dneverseenTracebesoseriousbeforeandI

couldn’tgetthehurtlookonMona’sfaceoffmymind.

“Ugh,Melissa’stheworst.Personally,IthinkherskankyasshasalwaysbeenjealousofMona,

especiallyofherfriendshipwithTrace.”

“Ya,what’supwiththat?AmIseriouslytheonlyonewho’severthoughtthey’dactuallymakea

greatcouple?”

“Ha!They’dbeterribletogether.Sure,theylookhottogether,allthosetattoosandwhatnotbut

they’dnevergothere.ShortlyafterMona’smomtookoff,Trace’sparentssplitupandhismom
movedawaytolivewithsomedudeshemetonline.Monawasprettymuchtheonlypersonwho
reallyknewwhathewasgoingthroughsotheyformedthisweirdobondovertheirvanishing
mothers.Neitheroneofthemwouldtalktoanyoneelseaboutit,justeachother.They’vebeenlike
brotherandsistereversince.Iaskedheronceifshehonestlyneverhadfeelingsforhimthatwere
morethanfriendlyandshesaidabsolutelynot.Shesaidthatinorderforbothofthemtobehappy,
they’dneedtofindpeoplethatwerecompletelydifferentfromthetwoofthem.Accordingtoher,he
feelsthesameway.Theyneedeachother ’sfriendshiptoomuchtodosomethingstupidlikesleep
together.”

“Huh.WellIguessthatmakessense.IsthatwhyTracerefusestosettledown?Becauseofhis

parents?”

“Bingo.Hewon’tadmitit,ofcourse.Buthismomleavinglikethatreallyfuckedhimup.Hisdad

neverdidremarryandspendsmostofhistimedrunkasaskunk.Ihavefaiththough,justwait.One
day,somegirlisgoingtocomealongandbringhimtohiskneesandhewon’tknowwhatthehellto
dowithhimself.Melissaisaneasylayandnothingmore,she’sbeenafterhimforyears,beggingfor
more.Itwouldactuallybesadifshewasn’tsuchanawfulbitch.”

Weateourburgersandfinishedourpitcher.KatelefthercarparkedatMac’sandcalledacab

whileIwalkedthecoupleblocksbacktothelibrary.OnethingIwasgratefulforwasthefactthat
everythingwasprettymuchwithinwalkingdistanceofmyapartment.Ididn’tdrivemuchwhenI
livedinthecityandsinceitwasn’tnecessaryhere,Ididn’tbotherriskingthechancethatKevincould
beusinghisbadgetotryandfindmeonlytoendupleavingapapertrailrighttomyfrontdoor.I
knewthathewouldnevergothroughanylegalchannelstofindme.Ifoundpaperworkburiedinone
ofthekitchendrawersabouttwomonthsbeforeIleft.He’dtakenoutarathersubstantiallife
insurancepolicyonmeshortlyafterwegotmarried.IfIvanished,whetherbymywillorhisown,
he’dlikelyplaytheconcerned,mourninghusbandforhoweverlongittookformetobeassumed
dead.He’dcollecthismoneyandmoveon.ButI’dstillalwaysbecareful.I’dkeepmyoldidentity
deadandburied.I’dratherbesafethansorry.

MyphonesignaledthatI’dreceivedatextmessage.Ilookedatthescreenandsmiled.

Cole:Heybabe,runningabitlate.I’llswingbyyourplaceassoonasI’mdonehereandwecan

sleeptheretonight.

Me:Areyousure?Idon’tmindifyoujustwanttoheadhome,wecanhaveasleepovertomorrow

night.

Cole:I’mnotspendingthenightwithoutyoubaby,I’llbethere.

Me:I’llbewaitingxo

Cole:Loveyoubabe.

Chapter18

Cole

AquickmeetingtosignsomerepairslipsturnedintoacompleteclusterfuckwhenJoe,mymain

mechanicfoundtherewasmoretobefixedononeofourpiecesofheavyequipmentthanwe
originallythought.IwaselbowdeepingreaseandscatteredpartswhenallIwantedtodowasget
hometoLily.SeeingherinthattinypinkbikinitodaygavemeallkindsofideasastohowIcould
removeitfromherbody.InsteadI’mstuckherewithabrokendownpieceofmachineryandasteady
streamofsexistjokes,courtesyofJoe.

ThislastmonthwithLilyhasbeennothingshortoffuckingamazing.Fallingasleepwithher

everynightandwakingupwithherwarmbodynexttominehasonlyintensifiedmyaddiction.Iwant
hertomoveinwithme,I’vetoldherasmuchinaboutfiftydifferentways.Iknowherindependence
isimportanttoherrightnowandIwon’tpushherforsomethingthatsheisn’treadyforbutI’ve
becomeanimpatientbastardandIdon’tknowhowmuchmoreIcantake.Everythinginmecraves
herwithaferocityI’veneverfelt.It’sselfishandunreasonablebutwhenitcomestoher,Ijustplain
can’thelpmyself.Ishovedmyphonebackinmypocketafterreadingherresponsetomylasttext.
JustintimetocatchthepunchlineofJoe’slastjoke.

Fuck.

JoeandImanagedtowrapuplessthananhourlater.Ilefthimtocleanupthemessandheadedto

mytruck.IsentLilyamessagelettingherknowthatIwasonmyway.Ikeptmyphonerestingonthe
middleconsole,expectinghertoreplybutshedidn’t.Itisn’ttoolate,butwegotalotofsuntoday,
maybeshefellasleepreading.ThelasttimeIfoundherasleepmid-book,Iglancedatthepageshe
leftoffonandwaspleasantlysurprisedtofindmyselfreadingaverygraphicsexscenebetweenthe
twomaincharacters.ShewokewithastartandsnatchedherKindlefrommyhands,herfaceflushed
withembarrassment.Wedidn’tevenmakeittothebedbeforewewereclawingateachother ’s
clothesandIhadherpinnedagainstthewall,herlegsovermyshoulderswhileIdevouredherpussy.
IadjustedmynowswollencockandprayedtothepowersthatbethatLilywascurrentlypassedout
withabook.

Ipulleduptothelibraryandparkedonthequietstreetoutfront.Mycockledthewaytotheback

doorasIreplayedmyoriginalplansforLily’spinkbikiniinmyhead.Ireachedfortheextrakey
LilyhadgivenmewhenIheardacrunchundermybootsandrealizedIwassteppingonbroken
glass.Acloserlookatthebackdoorshowedthatitwasintact.Ilookedupatthewindowtotheleft
andsawthejaggededgesofthebrokenwindow.Myheartpoundedinmychest,afeelingof
uneasinessinmygut.ItookmyphoneoutandquicklytypedamessagetoTracetellinghim
somethingwasupandtomeetmeatthelibrarywiththetownsheriffjustincase.Myphonechimed
withhisreplythathewasonhisway.Icarefullyunlockedthedoorandquietlysteppedthrough.I

heardacrashcomefromupstairs.ThesoundofLily’sscreamechoedallthewaydownthestaircase.
MybloodrancoldandallIsawwasredasItookthestairstwoatatimetogettothewomanIloved.

Chapter19

Lily

Iputmycellbackinmypurseandfishedmykeysoutofthesmallsidepocket.Iunlockedthe

backdoorandflippedontheporchlight.Ididn’tbotherwiththemainlightswitch,thestreetlamps
fromthebackalleylitmywayupthestairs.Ithrewmypurseandkeysontheendtablebythedoorto
myapartmentanddecidedtotacklethedishesandthrowinsomelaundrybeforebootingupmy
laptoptopaysomebills.IcouldstillfeelthesunscreenonmyskinfromearlierinthedaysoImade
mywaytothebathroomtotakeashowerbeforeColearrived.Iwasundressedandjustturningon
thefaucetwhenIheardanoisecomingfromdownstairs.Hemusthavefinishedupsoonerthanhe
thought,perfecttimingIthoughtwithasmile.Ifetchedmyrobeoffthebackofthedoorandslipped
itonwhileImademywayintothesmalllivingroom.Iopenedmydoorandpeekeddownthestairs
butIcouldn’tseeanything.

“Cole?You’rejustintime,Iwasabouttogetintheshower.”

Ididn’tgetaresponse,theonlysoundwasmyvoiceechoingoffthewallsofthenarrowhallway.

IcouldfeelthehairsonthebackofmyneckstandupandIwassuddenlyovercomewithafeelingof
dread.IturnedbacktothesafetyofmyapartmentwhenIheardacreakatthebottomofthestairs.I
amLilyJensenandIamsafe.Iamsafe.ItookadeepbreathinandroughlyexhaledwhenIheardmy
pastclearasday.

“HelloAnnie,aren’tyougoingtoinvitemein?”

Andjustlikethat,mynewlifefelloutfromundermyfeetandIwasleftflounderinginthedark

abyssofapastIthoughtI’descaped.Islammedthedoortomyapartmentandmanagedtoflipthe
deadboltwithshakinghands.Igrabbedmypurseandfranticallybegansearchingformyphone.I
turnedforthebathroomjustasmydoorwasshatteredoffitshinges,theclickofagunstoppedme
deadinmytracks.

“Don’tyoufuckingmoveorI’llputabulletinthatstupidlittleheadofyours.TurnaroundAnnie,

slowly.”

HisvoicewasjustascoldanddevoidofemotionasIremembered.Iclutchedmyphonetomy

chestandslowlyturnedtofacethemanIhadonceloved.

“Wellwell,aren’tyouasightforsoreeyes.HereIthoughtsomethingterriblehadhappenedtomy

lovingwifewheninfactyou’vebeengettingalongjustfinehaven’tyou?”

Ipulledmyshouldersbackandstoodtall.“Howdidyoufindme?”

Hesaunteredcasuallyintothelivingroom,hisgunstillpointingatmychest.

“OhitwasquitebyaccidentIassureyou.SaraandI,yourememberSaradon’tyou?From

downstairs?Ofcourseyoudo.Anyways,wedecidedtoplanourselvesalittlegetaway.Shedoesall
thisresearchonlineandtellsmethatwesimplyhavetovisitthecharmingtownofBlueFalls,located
rightsmackdabinthemiddleoftherockymountains.”HepicksupapictureofmeandColethatI
hadframedonthebookshelfandsmashesitintothehardwoodfloor.

“BeingthegenerousmanthatIam,IvisitthetownwebpageandwhatdoIcomeacrossbuta

pictureofmywife,standinginthisverylibrary.”

Apictureofmeonline?TheBBQ.BrandonmusthavepostedthepicturehetookofKateandme.

“Iwon’tgoanywherewithyou.”Ispeakfirmly.

“YesyouwillAnnie.Yousee,technicallyyou’redead.I’vealreadycollectedyourlifeinsurance

andthereisnowayinfuckinghellthatIamgoingtogivethatmoneybackbecauseofapesky
technicality.Soyou’regoingtocomewithmeandwe’regoingtotakealittledrivethroughthe
mountainsandifyoutrytofightme,I’lltrackdowneverysinglepersonyou’vehadcontactwith
sinceyou’vebeenhereandI’llputafuckingbulletineachandeveryoneofthem.Startingwiththat
boyfriendofyours.”

Ineededtothink.KevinhadcompletelylosthismindandIhadnodoubtthathe’dmakegoodon

histhreat.IfIcouldjustdistracthim,Icouldrunforthedoor.

“IseethosewheelsturningAnnie,tsktsk,thisisgoingonewayandonewayonly.Nowputdown

thephoneandgetyourassmoving.”

Iglancedatthesidetablebesidethecouch,specificallyattheheavyceramiclampthatsatontopof

it.Islowlysteppedforwardandstretchedmyhandouttoputthephonedown.Afaintnoisefrom
downstairshadKevinturninghisbackforasplitsecond,longenoughformetograbthelampand
heaveitwithallmymighttowardshim.Itnarrowlymissedhisshoulderandsmashedtothefloor
behindhim.IscreamedasloudasIcouldandmademyrunforthedoor.Ireachedthebustedframe
justasmyheadwasjerkedback,hishandgrippingmyhairtightly.Ikickedmylegsandrammedmy
elbowbehindme,lodgingitintohisribs.Hethrewmetothegroundandchargedtowardsme.I
bracedmyself,myarmscoveringmyheadwhenIheardaloudgruntandthesoundoffleshandbone
connecting.IuncoveredmyfacetoseethatColehadKevinbythecollarandwasfeedinghimblow
afterblowtohisalreadybleedingface.FootstepspoundedupthestairsandTracecamebarreling
throughthedoor,theSheriffrightbehindhim.IttookbothofthemtoripCole’sbodyoffofKevin,
whoslidtothegroundinonelimpthud.AngerradiatedfromCole’sbodyasTraceheldhimback
andtalkedhimdown.Istoodonshakylegsandwenttohimasthesheriffcheckedtomakesure
Kevinstillhadapulse.

“Cole?”Hiseyesmetmine,thetensioninhisstrongfeaturesbeginningtofade.Hebrushedpast

TraceandhadhisarmsaroundmebeforeIcouldwipeawaythefirstwaveoftearsthatstreamed
downmyface.

“Shh,baby,Igotyou,you’resafenow.”Imeltedintohim,takingeveryounceofcomforthehad

togive.

Theroomfilledwithmorepeople.Kevinwasdraggedoutinhandcuffs.Atsomepoint,an

ambulancehadbeencalled.TheycheckedmeoverbeforemovingontoCole,cleaningand
bandaginghisswollenknuckles.MonaandKateshovedtheirwaypasttheofficeratthedooronlyto
bestoppedshortbyTrace.Hespokequietly,butjudgingbythelookonKate’sface,Iassumedhewas
fillingherinonhowKevinmanagedtotrackmedown.Shecamestraighttomeandwrappedmeup
inafiercehug.

“OhmyGodLily,I’msosorry,Ididn’tknowtheyweregoingtoputthosepicturesonthe

website.Ineverwouldhaveletthem,pleaseforgiveme.”Herlastwordscameoutonasob.Of

courseIdidn’tblameher,itwasn’therfault.Monajoinedusandthethreeofusstoodwithourarms
tightlyaroundeachother.

Colewasgivinghisstatementtotheofficerincharge.Iwasworriedhewouldbetakeninto

custodybutTraceassuredmethatwasn’tlikelytohappensinceIhadalreadygivenmystatementand
therewasnodiscrepanciesbetweenthetwo.Thingsdidn’tlooktoogoodforKevin.AftertheSheriff
putacallintohisprecinct,hefoundoutthatnotonlyhadKevinbeensuspendedseveralmonthsago
buthewascurrentlyunderinvestigationforacceptingbribesandtreatingtheevidencelockerlikeit
washisownpersonalcandystore.Turnsout,inthetimeI’dbeengonethreewomenhadcome
forwardandpressedchargesagainsthimforassault.OneofthembeingSara.Afterhearingmy
story,hisSergeantassuredmethattheofficerswhohadneglectedmyinitialcomplaintwouldbedealt
withandthatIwouldn’thavetoworryaboutKevinashewouldlikelybeservinghardtimeforhis
longlistofcrimes.KateandMonahadlongsincegonehome,atTrace’sinsistence.Katehadphoned
herparentsandtoldthemwhathappenedbutmanagedtoconvincethemtostayput.Iwasgratefulfor
theirconcernbutIwasbarelyhangingonbythispoint.Colefinishedupwithhisstatementandstayed
closewhileIpackedabag.Theywerestilltakingpicturesforevidencewhenweleftsowe’dhaveto
comebackinthemorningtogeteverythingcleanedup.Thesunwasalreadystartingtocomeup
whenwepulledintothegarage.Cole’sarmremainedfirmlyaroundmywaistaswemadeourwayto
thebedroom.HeheadedforthebathroomwhileIundressedandgotintobed.Mybodysankintothe
warmthofthemattressbeneathme.Ipulledthecoversaroundmetightlyandclosedmyeyesbut
sleepwouldn’tcome.Itwasn’tuntilthebeddippeddownandCole’shardbodypressedagainstmine
thatIfeltmyeyelidsgrowheavy.

“Sleepbaby,I’vegotyou.”

AndIdid.

Lily

2monthslater

Ichuckedthelastoftheemptyboxesintothegarageandgotbacktothekitchenjustasthetimer

ontheovenbeganbeeping.Thescentofchocolatefilledtheroom.ItwasCole’sbirthdayandhis
requestsweresimple.Finishunpackingmythings,andmakehimachocolatecake.Doneanddone.I
movedinwithhimshortlyaftertheKevindebacle.Lifeistooshortforwhatifsanddidn’twantto
wasteanotherminutewaitingfortheothershoetodrop.IlovedColeandhelovedme,simpleas
that.Iwasstillseeingmycounseloronamonthlybasiswithhisfullsupport.Thedeepestofmy
scarswerefadingeverydayandI’dmanagedtoovercomethatlittlevoiceinmyheadthatquestioned

everydecisionImade.Iwascapableofmakingchoicesandlearnedtotrustmyselfagain.

TheSheriffpaidusavisitlastweekandinformedusthatKevinwouldbeservingtimeinprison

formuchoftheforeseeablefuture.ColeandItookatripbacktothecityshortlyafterhewas
formallychargedsoIcouldhirealawyerandfilefordivorce.Giventhecircumstancesandthefact
thatIdidn’twantanythingofhisthatImighthavebeenentitledtoo,theprocesswentquicklyandI’d
gottenaphonecallfrommylawyertheotherdaytotellmethatthedivorcewasnowfinalandIwasa
freewoman.Itfeltasiftheworldhadbeenliftedoffmyshoulders.IwasfreetobeAnnemarieagain
andthethoughtdidcrossmymind.IntheendIchosetolegallychangemynameandstickwithLily.
Annemariebelongedinthepast.

Cole

IopenedthegaragedoorandwasgreetedwiththedeliciousscentofLily’schocolatecake.She

askedmeaweekagowhatIwantedformybirthday.Ididn’tevenhesitatetotellherthatIwantedthe
restofherthingsunpackedandplacedamongmyown.IcouldhavedonewithoutthecakebutwhenI
rememberedthelasttimeLilybakedinmykitchen,mydickjumpedattheopportunityforapossible
encore.Ialsowantedtomakesureshewasbusytoday.ItoldherIhadsomepaperworktofinishup
atoneofourjobsitesbeforeweheadedtomyparents’fordinnertonight.I’dactuallyspentmyday
shoppinginthenexttownoverwithKate.Iwasgoingtoproposetonight.Ifitwereuptomewe
wouldhavebeenmarriedtwomonthsago.Waitingforherdivorcetobefinalizedwashellonmy
patience.ButshewasfreeofhimnowandIwasn’tabouttowasteonemoresecondnothavingheras
mywife.

IenteredthekitchenandknewtherewasnowayinhellIcouldwaituntiltonight.Shewashunched

overthecounterwithaspatulainherhand,slatheringthickchocolateicingontothecakeshehad
made.Herhairwasfallingloose,shewaswearinglittleblackshortsandoneofmyoldtshirts.She
lookedupandflashedmeherdimples.

“Hey,howwasyourday?”

Ididn’tsayanythingasItookthespatulafromherhandsandsankdowntoonekneeinfrontof

her.Shelookedatmewithconfusion,herbeautifulbrowneyeswidenedasIpulledthetinyboxfrom
mypocket.

“Cole,what-“

“IloveyouLily.You’rethebestthingthat’severhappenedtome.You’restrong,kindandso

damnbeautifulittakesmybreathaway.You’rebetterthanmeineverywaypossibleanddeserveso
muchmorethanIcouldevergiveyou.Butnothinginthisworldcouldkeepmefromlovingyou,its
etcheddeepinmybones.ItfeelslikeI’velovedyouforsolongalreadythatmyheartwouldn’teven
knowhowtostop.Marryme,havemybabiesandletmespendeverydayofmylifeprovingtoyou
thatyoumadeachoiceworthwhilewhenyouagreedtobemine.”

Iopenedthesmallboxrevealingasizableemeraldsurroundedbysmallwhitediamonds.Itwas

stunningandunique,justlikeLily.Shedroppedtoherkneesandthrewherarmsaroundme,
laughingandcrying.

“Ofcourse!OfcourseI’llmarryyou!”

Iplacedtheringonherslimfingerandkissedhersoftlipsthroughhertears.ImeantwhatIsaid

whenItoldherthatshedeservedmorethanIcouldevergiveher.I’dgladlyspendtherestofmylife
provingtoherthatIwasworthyofherlove.Sheheldmyheartinherhandsandeverythinginme
belongedtothiswoman.WhenI’moldandgreyandfadingfromthisworld,mylastthoughtwillbe
howthankfulIamthatshegavemeherloveinreturn.

Epilogue

Cole

5yearslater…

“Mm,that’srightLily,takeitall.”IlookeddownatthetopofLily’sheadbobbingbackandforth,

takingmycockbetweenherlipsinlongstrokes.MyhandsfistedinherwethairasIslowlyfucked
hersweetmouth.ThewaterwasstartingtocooldownbutIwassocloseandnakedshowertimewith
mysmokinghotwifewasaluxuryIseldomhadsinceshegavebirthtoourtwinboysfouryearsago.
OverfiveyearstogetherandIstillcouldn’tgetenoughofthiswoman.Sheincreasedherspeed,
moaningdeepinherthroat.Myballstightened,mywholebodytenseasIcamehardagainsttheback
ofherthroat.Sheswallowedsteadily,notwastingadrop.

“Fuckbabythatwasgood.”Ihelpedherupfromherkneesandtookhermouthwithmine,tasting

myselfonherlips.Thewaternowcold,Iturneditoffandbackedheragainsttheglassdoorofthe
shower.Preparingtoreturnthefavour,Ibrushedonefingeralongherwetpussyandbroughtitupto
mymouthforataste.Hereyesheavywithneed,Isankdowninfrontofherandthrewoneshapely
legovermyshoulder.IknewLilywasself-conscienceaboutherbodyeversinceshegavebirthto
theboysbuttomeshewasstillthemostbeautifulwomaninexistence.Hercurveswerealittlesofter
nowandshehadsomemarksacrossherbelly.Knowingthatshegotthosemarksfromcarryingmy
babiesonlymadehermoreappealingtotheanimalinme.Ispreadherswollenpinkfoldsandtooka
longswipewithmytongue.Purefuckingheaven.Irubbedmythumbagainstherclitandwasabout
toindulgeinanothertastewhentwolittlefistsbeganbangingonthelockeddoor.

“Mom!Jacksonhitmeintheface!”

“Ididnot!Markthrewabookatme!”

“Mom,thedoorislocked!Whyisthedoorlocked?Jackson’spushingmeMom!”

Iletoutafrustratedsigh.Cockblockedbymyownsons.Again.Unbelievable.Iburiedmyface

inLily’sneckandspokeagainsthersoftskin.“Youknow,wecouldjustignorethem.They’llfigure
outhowtogettheirownbreakfasteventually.”

Sheshookherheadandlaughed.“Yaright,andwho’sgoingtodealwiththatdisasterwhile

you’regonetowork?”Shereachedforthehandleontheshowerdoor.Isnakedmyarmaroundher
waistandpulledherbacksnugglytomyfront.“I’mcallingmyparentsandtellingthemthattheycan
havetheboysfortheentireweekend.IfIdon’teatyoursweetpussyandfuckyousenselessinthe
nearfuture,I’mgoingtokillsomeone.”

Shepushedherassintomyachingcock.“Mm,nowthat’saplanIcangetonboardwith.”

“MOM!!Markwon’tgivemebackmysocks!”

10yearsafterthat…

Lily

IcheckedmywatchasIsatinthestandswiththerestoftheparents.Colewasrunningabitlatebut

promisedhe’dmakeittotheboys’soccergametoday.IwasabouttophonehimwhenIglancedup
andsawthathewasjustgettingoutofhistruck.Myheartjumpedinmychestatthesightoftheman
thatIlovedforoverfifteenyears.Throughupsanddowns,twokidsandeveryothercurveballlife
hadthrownourway,myloveforthatmanhadneverdulled.Istoodupandwavedsohecouldsee
whereweweresitting.TimandJudyoftencametotheboyssportingeventsandtodayKatecame
withhertwodaughtersaswell.

“Heybabe,sorryI’mlate.”Ikissedhimquicklyandfilledhiminonthegamesofar.Ourboys

tooktothefieldandplayedintotalsyncwithoneanother.Theyoftenknewwheretheotheronewas
withoutevenlooking.Theytoldmeitwasatwinthing.Icheeredloudly,usingmy“SoccerMom”
voiceasColelikedtocallit.Ourteamwonbytwopointsbuteveniftheywouldhavelostwestill
wouldhaveendedupgoingforpizza.Wetookuptwolargetablesinthebackoftherestaurant.
Kate’shusbandmetusthere,alongwithTraceandhiswifeandtheirthreekids.Monaandher
husbandwerecurrentlyinLasVegaslookingatpropertybuthersisterHanna,whoI’dbecomegood
friendswith,camewithherfamily.Ileanedbackinmychairandlookedaroundatourlarge,noisy
group.ItseemedlikealifetimeagothatIhoppedoffthatgreyhoundbusandtookachancemaking
myhomeinthissmallmountaintown.Coleputhisarmaroundmeandpulledmeclose.

“Whatareyouthinkingaboutbaby?”

Irestedmyheadonhisshoulder.“Nothingreally,justabouthowluckyIamtohaveallofyou.”

“Ithinkyou’vegotthatbackwardsbabe,we’reluckytohaveyou.”

Andjustlikethat,astheyalwaysdid,hiswordsremindedmethatIamexactlywhereI’mmeantto

be.

THEEND

SneakPeek

WorthTheRisk

Trace’sBook

ReleasingSummer/Fall2016

Chapter1

6monthsago

Trace

Thesunwasjustcomingupwhenmyshiftended.Idon’tknowwhythehellIagreedtoswitchwith

Doyle,there’snowaythatbastardwoulddothesameforme.Nightshiftwaslongandboring,not

nearlyasamusingasmyusualpatrol.IcouldbarelykeepmyeyesopenasIdrovebacktotown.My

phonehadbeengoingoffnonstopforthelasthour.Melissawasdamnpersistent.Itwasalmost

enoughofaturnofftomakemereconsiderourlittlearrangement.Almost.Thatgirlsuckedcock

likeadamnpro,itwouldn’tbeverygentlemanlyofmetoletthatskillsetgotowaste,evenifshewas
annoyingasfuck.Icontinuedtoignorehermessages.Everypartofmybodywasbeggingforsleep,

evenmydick.Iturnedmyphoneoffandchuckeditonthepassengerseat.WhenIbroughtmyeyes

backtothehighwayinfrontofmeIhadtoswervehardtomissthewomanstandinginthemiddleof

theroad.Whatthefuck?!Iskiddedtoastopinthegrassyditch,myknuckleswhiteonthesteering

wheel.IcouldhaveswornIwashavingafuckingheartattack.Igotcontrolofmyracingheartand

wretchedthedooropen,thecrazybitchwasstillstandingtherelikeagoddamnstatue.

“Hey!Whatthehell’sthematterwithyou?Icouldhavekilledyou!”IshoutedasIclimbedoutofthe

ditchandbackontothepavement.Isquintedmyeyesagainsttherisingsunandfocusedonthe

womanwhostillhadherbacktome.Shewasn’twearingshoes,herbarefeetwerecoveredindirt.It

washardtotellfromherebuttheylookedprettybangedup.Shewaswearingaplaindressthatcame

rightdowntoherankles.Herpaleredhairhunginatangledknotdownherback.Icouldn’tseeher

handsandIwasprayingshedidn’thavesomekindofweapon.Iapproachedherslowly.Iwasnotin

themoodtogetattackedbythisAmishlookingbroad.

“Heythere,areyouokaymiss?”IsoftenedmytonesoIwouldn’tspookherandstoppedshortabout

fivefeetbehindher.

Shegaveherheadaslightshake,asifrealizingwhereshewasandwhatshewasdoing.Sheturned

slowlytowardsme.Whenshefacedmefullyitwaslikeapunchtothegut.Shewasabsolutely

breathtaking.Hercheekswereflushedbuttheskinpeekingoutfromthecollarofherdresswasa

shadeofdelicateivory.Shehadfulllipsandbrightblueeyesthatalmostlookedpurple.Istaredlike

anidiot,unabletostopmyself.Itwasn’tuntilshesoftlyclearedherthroatthatIrealizedshehad

spoken.

“I’msorry,whatwasthat?”Realsmooth,idiot.

“Helpme.Please.”Hervoicewashoarse,hereyespleading.ItwasthenthatInoticedherhandswere

boundinfrontofherinapairofthickrustedchains.Whothefuckdidthistoher?Ifoughttokeep

theangeroutofmyvoice.

“What’syournamesweetheart?”

“So-Sophie.MynameisSophieBurke.”Sophie.Itookanothersteptowardsher,keepingmyhands

upwhereshecouldseethem.

“WheredidyoucomefromSophie?”

Hereyeswidenedwithpanicasshelookedupanddowntheabandonedhighway.“Idon’tknow.I

ran.IranandIleftthem,Ileftthemallbehind.”Shecollapsedjustasmyarmscamearoundhertiny

waist.

AbouttheAuthor

StellaJamesenjoysreading,yogaandbeer.Shewritesinherlimitedsparetimeforyourreading

pleasureandalsotosilencethevariouscharactersthathavetakenupresidenceinhercutelittlehead.

Ifyouwouldliketobeinformedofupcomingreleasesorifyoujustwanttobenosybecauseit’sfun,

comeandfindmeonsocialmedia.

Instagramhttps://www.instagram.com/stellajamesauthor

Facebook

https://www.facebook.com/stellajamesauthor

Document Outline

Prologue
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Epilogue
Sneak Peek
About the Author

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