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This book was automatically created by
on October 23rd, 2013, based on
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This story was first published on June 29th, 2013, and was last updated on
October 9th, 2013.
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Table of Contents
1. Chapter 1
2. Bella
3. What's Love Got To Do With It
4. Fashion Sense
5. Night on the Town
6. Morning After
7. Uh Oh
8. What Just Happened
9. Suddenly
10. Suddenly - Bella
11. Surprise Phone Call
12. I Wanna Hold Your Hand
13. Renee
14. Closer
15. Domesticity
16. Switch
17. Thanksgiving Pt. 1
18. Thanksgiving Pt. 2
19. I Love Black Friday
20. Here We Go
21. Bliss
22. Bliss Pt 2
23. Bliss Pt 3
24. That Went Well
25. Romantic Leading Man
26. Premiere
27. The Deluge
28. Stay
- 3 -
Summary
An apathetic actor. A young girl coming into her own. He was always larger than
life to her. She was always just a child on the edge of his horizon. For both, love was
a silly game other people played, until it wasn't.
- 5 -
Chapter 1
A/N: This fic is loosely inspired by the musical Gigi, which is delightful. No
courtesans in this, though. Just fyi.
"It's nice to see you, Mr. Cullen. Did you get in okay?"
Edward Cullen took his sunglasses out and took off his hat. He shook his head,
running his fingers through his hair. "I did. Thank you, Amber." He gifted her with a
small smile, and the young waitress's eyes lit up.
"I, um..." Her cheeks flushed "Anytime, of course. It's always a pleasure to see
you." She looked at him from under her eyelashes, holding his gaze for a moment.
"Is Garrett here?" He ignored her obvious flirtation.
Her lips fell slightly, but she was a pro. She recovered a quickly. "Yes, Mr. Larson
is waiting for you at your usual table."
Again, he smiled at her. Egotistical as the thought was, he knew damn well his
smile was a gift to the woman, and it was the least he could do.
With a sigh, he made his way into the main dining room.
Whoever thought the life of a Hollywood superstar was all glitz and glamour was
delusional. There were probably at least a few hundred people wondering where he
was and what he was doing at that very moment. Their fantasy of his life was their
escapism. They probably imagined him doing all sorts of flashy things. Maybe he
was at a photoshoot or perhaps a star-studded party.
Sure, he did those things. Photoshoots were tedious and often ludicrous. Because
the stars of Hollywood were, in fact, normal people, they were just as prone to being
annoying as hell, boring, ridiculous, or some combination thereof. Heaven knew he
wasn't the suave motherfucker most of his fans imagined him to be.
His friends affectionately called him an asshole, but that's what friends did. They
loved him in spite of his worst traits.
Today, his glamorous celebrity life consisted of driving the long way around town
so as to avoid any potential paparazzi who might have tailed him to a mediocre
- 6 -
restaurant he'd chosen because they had a filthy alley he could easily slip into
without being seen. It was the kind of alley no one wanted to be in, but it got him
through the restaurant's back door.
When he got to his booth, after the usual back pounding man-hug was exchanged,
Edward's best friend and fellow actor, Garrett Larson wasted no time jumping on
the issue of the day
"I would ask about your love life, but no need. Done with Victoria, are you?"
Edward snorted. "Haven't you read the papers? She's done with me." He rolled his
eyes. "That's why I had to sneak in. Couldn't let the paps catch me in my fragile
state."
"Oh, but it is a saucy scandal, isn't it?" Garrett laughed. "America's most beautiful
couple. The steamy seductress Victoria Wyle and Hollywood's most eligible
bachelor. What could be more embarrassing for a leading man like you to lose
Victoria to the fresh faced, boy-next-door, Hollywood's most charmingly adorable
Riley Biers?"
"Look at me. I'm so ashamed I can't even sit up straight." It was true, in a way. His
favorite booth in the restaurant was his favorite because it was tucked into a dark
corner. Still, he was slouched up against the farthest corner. It was just a matter of
time before someone recognized them.
"Really, I have to ask. Victoria seems like a hellion in bed."
"You know better than to think I'm going to acknowledge that." Edward may have
been an asshole, but he wasn't the type to kiss and tell.
Garrett held his hands up in peacemaking gesture. "Fair enough. At least tell me
this: What's she like? I never have met her."
Edward shrugged. "She's fine."
Garrett rolled his eyes. "She's fine. That's all you ever say about the women you're
with."
"What else do you want? They're people. People are mostly varying degrees of
okay. Nothing spectacular."
The other man studied him for a long moment. He looked like he was about to say
- 7 -
something, and then thought better of it. "Okay then. Next subject."
Edward listened attentively as Garrett went on at length about the next project he
was set up to start in the upcoming weeks. It was good to see his old friend so
animated.
They'd met many years before when Edward was nineteen and Garrett was
twenty. They were playing teenagers on a popular television show at the time. A lot
had changed since then. Garrett was popular and well known, but a movie Edward
did when he was twenty-two had unexpectedly hit an epic level of popularity,
catapulting him headfirst into a super-stardom he'd never wanted.
It wasn't to say his life was bad, it just wasn't as spectacular as everyone imagined
it to be.
But Garrett hadn't let fame go to his head any more than Edward had, so here
they were, seventeen years later.
When Garrett finished talking about his projects, it was Edward's turn.
"You got the Carmen Medina project?" Garrett looked impressed. "Damn. Not
going to lie, I'm really jealous. I wanted that part. Are you excited?"
Edward waved his hand. "I'm indifferent."
"Oh, of course you are. Carmen Medina is one of the most brilliant directors out
there. She exudes the scent of Oscars."
"You know how I feel about Oscars."
Garrett shook his head. "I do. Of course, I do. A popularity contest. No measure of
talent. Blah, blah, blah. And fuck you. I still want one."
"It's just any other job."
"Whatever."
A flash from across the restaurant caught their attention. Garrett turned, grinning
and waving at a red-faced girl who had been trying to be discreet and failed
miserably. Edward sighed inwardly but didn't protest when Garrett waved her over.
They posed for a couple pictures with the girl and her elder sister before being left
in peace again.
- 8 -
"Thank you for that, Garrett. I bet she's on Twitter even as we speak which
guarantees the paps will be outside."
"Ah. They'd already seen us. The older one was making eyes at you," Garrett
noted.
"They usually do."
"Well, speaking of pretty girls... Have you heard from Tanya?"
Edward looked up, giving his friend a warning glance. He knew exactly where this
was headed. "No, Garrett. I haven't seen Tanya since she made it clear she was
falling for me, and so I won't be able to introduce you to her sister."
Garrett hit his head against the back of his booth. "You're killing me."
"You realize you're a movie star, right? I'm pretty sure it would be easy if you
really want to meet her."
"Come on. You're an actor for chrissakes. Don't you have a sense of storyline? It's
got to be natural." His expression brightened. "Oh! You could throw a party. You and
Tanya were always good friends. If you invite her along with everyone else, it
wouldn't be leading her on."
"I don't like-"
"Shut. Up." Garrett was exasperated, his look ever so slightly disgusted.
"Everything is boring, your work, people, parties." He pointed at Edward. "You need
a reset, man."
"I'm sorry. This whole thing with Victoria just has me irritated today."
"You're always irritated, though I will admit the stick is shoved particularly far up
your ass today." He leaned across the table, his look sincere now. "Really, man.
You're getting burned out. Maybe you need to get away from L.A. for a little while."
Edward eyed his friend. "That would be fantastic." His drawl was dry. "The
tabloids can say I'm running away to lick my wounds." Not that he cared what the
tabloids thought. He was just being a pain in the ass at that point. Really, it wasn't a
bad idea. "Like where?"
"You could always go see your little nieces. They always made you smile."
- 9 -
"I only have the one niece. Alice."
"There were two of them, weren't there? I remember that. When your sister
visited and our set was overrun with giggling toddlers."
Edward did smile at the memory. "Only one of them was my niece. Bella is my
sister-in-law's niece."
"Whatever. Just go. Get the fuck out of Dodge for a bit."
A/N: So. This one will have shortish chapters.
Thanks so much to songster and barburella.
So. Thoughts? Guesses?
- 10 -
Bella
Renee would have said her first mistake was investing any part of her heart.
"Love is boring, my dear. If you're always free, life is an adventure. Every person
you meet can show you something new and exciting."
Bella's mother went where her whims and the people in her life took her. Every
once in awhile, Bella could see the value in it. Whenever her mother did reappear,
the stories she told painted the picture of a happy life in variegated, exciting colors.
Still, Bella could never want Renee's life. Bella was a steady creature. A life of
constant change would make her more miserable than anything else. She craved
consistency and dependability.
It was Renee's one regret in her decision to leave Bella mostly with her sister,
Rosalie to be raised. Bella's aunt was everything Renee was not.
"I wish I'd been able to take you with me, Bella. You would see what a big world
you're missing out on," she'd said over and over. But there were child welfare laws
to abide by and schools to attend, so Bella only saw her mother a handful of times a
year.
Renee was impressively happy, but despite her more sedate lifestyle, so was
Rosalie. She'd been with the same man for twenty years, and she didn't seem bored
to Bella. Then again, that might have had something to do with her husband. Bella's
Uncle Emmett was hilarious. Between him and their vivacious sixteen-year-old
daughter Alice, the Cullen household was far from unexciting.
Still, right about then, Bella wished she'd taken her mother's advice about dating.
Getting invested in Felix Scarpinato had never been Bella's intention. They met at
Antioch University's Freshman orientation where Felix was one of the Seniors
showing all the fish around. Despite the fact she was, as she had been told, very
level-headed for an eighteen-year-old girl, she'd lost her wits about him.
He was charming, handsome, attentive, and hilarious. And huge. He was as big as
a building... which, she had to admit, both intrigued and occasionally intimidated
her, especially when they got physical. But when she asked him to stop or pulled
away, he acquiesced, albeit grudgingly.
- 11 -
But after two months of this, he was fed up. He called her a frigid cow and
dumped her at a party he'd brought her to, leaving her to find her own way home.
In all fairness, Bella was much more embarrassed than truly heartbroken.
Throughout high school, she'd watched the soap opera that was her fellow students'
love lives. From her vantage point on the outskirts, it was clear to see how
ridiculous most unions were.
But there was the rub. In high school, Bella had existed in the mediocrity of the
social sphere. She was neither an outcast nor one of the popular kids. She had
plenty of friends, male and female both, but no romantic interests.
Being caught in the eye of the storm, being the one pursued, had a blinding effect.
In her heart of hearts, Bella had known from day one she and Felix had nothing in
common. Still, she'd been caught up in the teasing, the touching. She discovered
how good being wanted could feel.
She felt pretty, oh so pretty.
Now, reality had crashed on her once again. The only thing Felix wanted was to
get between her legs; he didn't care about her or appreciate her at all except for
what her body could offer him.
Bella shook the heavy sense of melancholy off as she pulled into the driveway. It
had been one week since Felix dumped her, and she was still chafing. It could
always be worse, she thought to herself. She could have given in to his constant
pushing.
That last night, he'd been downright frightening. He'd led her to an unoccupied
room in the house the party was at. They'd been making out on the bed, and when
he pushed her backward, she protested. She'd tried to laugh it off. This was
someone else's house. There was no lock on the door. He'd dismissed her concern
without a second thought, pinning her down on the bed.
His body was so massive, and he wouldn't stop. He kept telling her she needed to
relax.
"You'll like it. I'm really good, baby. I'll make it good for you."
He only stopped when she started hollering loud enough for people to hear.
Bella hated remembering how helpless she'd felt, how the knowledge that he was
- 12 -
so much stronger than she was seeped into the marrow of her bones.
As she stepped in the door, Bella saw a blur come flying at her seconds before she
found herself being lifted into the air. She screamed, disoriented for a moment. She
was being hoisted over someone's shoulder and carried off like a cavewoman. She
began to kick.
"Whoa, whoa. Duckling. Calm down!"
"Edward?"
Edward gave her ass a playful smack as he set her down. "Who else would it be?"
Both relieved she wasn't being attacked and thrilled as always to see him, Bella
flung her arms around his neck, hopping up to wrap her legs around his waist. He
laughed, holding her securely. "There's my girl."
"Sorry," she said as he carried her to the living room. Once they got to the couch,
he rearranged her so she was sitting on his lap. "I was thinking about something
else, and you surprised me."
He smoothed the hair out of her eyes. "Ah, yes. Do tell me all about this mean boy
who pulled your pigtails and made you cry."
"Ugh. Rose told you about that?" Bella was doubly glad then that she hadn't told
her aunt just how pushy Felix had been. Rose would have wanted to rip his balls off.
Edward probably would have wanted to beat the shit out of the rest of him. "I didn't
cry."
"Good. I can guarantee you this asshole isn't worth your tears."
Bella grinned and kissed his cheek. She didn't get to see Emmett's brother
Edward often - maybe once or twice every few years since she spent most holidays
with her mother - but she always enjoyed his visits. "I'm glad you're here."
"Oh, for God's sake."
They both looked up as Rosalie stepped back in the room from wherever she'd
been. She put her hands on her hips, shaking her head. "You are not a little girl
anymore, Bella. You look ridiculous on his lap like that."
Bella tried to scoot away, but Edward held her tight. "She's my little girl, Rose.
- 13 -
Leave her alone. She's fine where she is."
It was true, Bella thought nothing of being this way with Edward. It was was how
they always were.
Rosalie just shook her head. "You're both silly."
"Well, we're allowed." Edward stuck his tongue out at his sister-in-law.
"So there," Bella added, mimicking his face as she wrapped her arms around his
neck.
- 14 -
What's Love Got To Do With It
Edward shooed Emmett, Rosalie, and Alice out the door. They wanted to go to
dinner. Neither Edward nor Bella was interested in going out.
When he wandered back into the living room, he was amused to find Bella on the
floor, her hair spread out like a halo around her head. He laid down in the opposite
direction so his head was touching hers.
Bella sighed. "Have you ever been in love?"
"More times than I can count."
"In real life."
"Oh, that. Haven't you read the tabloids? Edward Cullen the perpetual bachelor.
My publicist sent me a hilarious one the other day when I had lunch with George
Clooney. Apparently, it's a match made in heaven, don't you know?"
"Is that your really long winded way of saying no you've never been in love, or are
you coming out to me?"
"No, I've never been in love." He folded his hands over his stomach. "To be honest,
it seems like much more trouble than it's worth. I'm not unhappy alone."
"People do act ridiculous about love, don't they? God, sometimes it's all they can
think about. Even Aunt Rose and Emmett."
Edward chuffed. "Oh, I know what you mean. When they get in those moods
where they stare into each other's eyes. Are they still doing that?"
"Yes! Like, we're all aware you're desperately in love after all these years." Her
teasing was gentle. She did love her pseudo-parents, and the love they shared was
beautiful. "You know even Alice thinks she's in love?"
"Emmett told me. Jasper, isn't it?" Edward propped his hands up behind his head.
"Rose said Emmett was all set to intimidate the hell out of the boy, but then he
turned it all around."
"Jasper is very charming for a kid."
- 15 -
"You're two years older than she is. You know that right?"
"Pffft. It's not the years, honey, it's the mileage."
"Oh, yes." His fingers tangled around a strand of her hair, and he gave it a playful
tug. "You're so jaded."
She hummed, quiet for a handful of moments. "My mom said she loved my dad,
you know."
"I thought you didn't know your dad."
"I don't. Never met the man. I don't even know what he looks like except Mom
says I have his eyes." She stretched, her fingers finding his head. She scratched
along his scalp as she spoke. "She might have been trying to make me feel better.
She swears his name was Charlie Swan. But that might be because she was too
embarrassed to admit she essentially named me Beautiful Swan."
"It's better than Higginbotham, isn't it, Duckling? I'd have had to call you Higgy.
Half the time I think that's why Rosalie married my brother. Cullen is much better
than Higginbotham."
"You could just call me Bella."
"Oh, Ducky, Ducky, where's the fun in that?"
He rolled onto his belly and she onto hers, so they were face to face. He studied
her, looking at her with an objective eye. It was startling to realize it was a woman's
face staring back at him. Oh, she was still very young, just a girl, but her features
weren't that of a child. Gone was the baby fat that rounded out her cheeks in his
memories. She'd grown into her gawkish ears, too, he noted.
Objectively, she was beautiful. It was the kind of pure beauty Hollywood would
love to get ahold of. And corrupt just as quickly.
He felt a tendril of protective instinct curl in his stomach.
Despite the fact he knew damn well she was in college - he'd sent her a graduation
gift after all - Edward had found it very strange when Rosalie told him she had a
boyfriend. In his head, she seemed too young for all that. When he'd last seen her,
she'd been sixteen and looked all of fourteen. Now he suddenly realized she was
young, beautiful, and vulnerable. Felix might have been the first, but he wasn't
- 16 -
going to be the last boy who'd want her. Bella was a smart girl, but somehow, the
idea of her being hurt was abhorrent to him.
"Did you love this boy?" he asked. Typically, the ins and outs of people in love
bored him to tears.
Bella was different. His heart panged at the thought of her pain.
"No." Her answer was quiet, wistful. "I think I wanted to love him, but I'm not sure
why. I think you're right. Love is more trouble than it's worth. And it makes you
stupid. Oh, jeez. You should have seen Alice when she and Jasper were still dancing
around each other. I almost bought her a straight jacket, she was so insane. That's
why her hair is short like that, you know."
"Is it?"
"She overheard Jasper telling one of his friends that he had a thing for super short
hair on girls. The next day..." She made a buzzing sound. "All her hair. Gone. And
she loves her hair, Edward. You don't understand that girl and her hair. Rose had a
fit."
"I'll bet." Edward laughed. He loved his sister-in-law, but the woman was a bit on
the shallow side. Her hair was everything to her. She would have hit the roof to see
her daughter's pretty, dark hair shredded into a pixie cut.
"Yeah." She rested her head on her hands, her expression far away. "But I don't
know. Now that they're together, Alice is really happy. And Jasper's great. Really. As
far as knuckleheaded teenage boys go, Alice could have done a lot worse. He's
wonderful to her. So sweet. Then, yeah, Rose and Emmett can be disgusting with
their ooey-gooeyness, but they have a good marriage." She shrugged, looking back
at him. "It was nice, sometimes, believing maybe someone adored me, could look at
me like that."
Edward considered this.
Sometimes, when he got very deep into a character he was playing, he felt the
glory of love, the elation, the giddiness. For minutes or hours, he found himself so
enraptured by his character's love interest. He could see how nice it might be to
share his life with someone made for him. He could understand the value, but that
was fiction. Real life didn't have happily ever afters. Certainly, there was happiness,
but there was also everything else in between.
- 17 -
"You're young, Duckling. You can have that if you want it." He pushed her hair
back over her ear. "It's not as though this was your last chance."
She tilted her head to the side, smiling. "You know what? I have better things to
do than think of love anyway."
"Well, I'll drink to that." He lifted an imaginary shot glass in her direction.
- 18 -
Fashion Sense
"You know what I would do if I were you? I'd make him regret the day he let you
go."
Bella sighed, turning around from her desk to find her cousin was rifling through
her closet. "Alice, what are you doing?"
"Looking to see what you have that might be cute. I'm telling you, Bella, if you'd
dress to your body type-"
"What I wear is comfortable. I like being comfortable."
"We can find the line between comfort and jaw dropping hotness. I'm comfortable
in what I wear... you know, most of the time." She pulled out of the closet, holding
up a shirt. "Why don't you wear this more often? This has a flattering cut for your
body type. See-"
"I cannot tell you how disinterested I am in this conversation."
Alice gave a long suffering sigh. Thankfully, before she could start again, Rosalie
called from downstairs.
"Girls! If you're going to have lunch, get down here now."
In the kitchen, they found Rosalie at the refrigerator taking out sandwich fixings.
Emmett and Edward were sitting at the table. Emmett was cutting tomatoes and
Edward was spreading mustard on bread.
"Mom, tell Bella she has a great ass, and she should show it off." As she spoke,
Alice grabbed the back of Bella's shirt, bunching it up so it didn't hang down over
her butt.
Bella twisted around, trying to swat her cousin away, but Alice was nimble on her
feet. All she ended up doing was twisting her shirt further until her bellybutton and
the small of her back was exposed. "Alice!"
As she turned, Bella's eyes slid past Alice, catching the look on Edward's face. His
eyes were not on her face but on her body, sliding up and down. She couldn't read
the look on his face. He'd never looked at her like that before. She felt her cheeks
- 19 -
heat as she finally got ahold of Alice's wrist.
Finally free of her cousin, Bella wrapped her arms around her shoulders, looking
down at the ground.
"Bella, you have a beautiful body. Why not show it off a bit?" Alice asked.
"Because I don't care about Felix enough to want to make him jealous."
"It's not about making him jealous, though I'll admit that's a nice byproduct,"
Rosalie said, bringing a plate full of sliced lunchmeat over to the table. "Dressing to
flatter your figure is a huge confidence booster."
"They're just clothes." Bella hated this subject, and they both knew it. "What I
wear shouldn't say anything about me."
"And yet it does. Thems the breaks, baby. But really, I think you're missing the
point. This is about you, nobody else. When you look good, you feel good. You walk
taller. It's the confidence more than anything that's sexy. Look good for yourself."
She gave Bella a wicked-she-devil of a smirk. "Just because guys will be falling all
over you doesn't mean you have to give them the time of day."
Emmett snorted. "No kidding. You have no idea what it took for this one to even
glance in my direction."
Bella just sighed. "You sound like my mother."
"Well, in this case, Renee is actually a great example. You know I wouldn't be
caught dead in some of the things she wears."
Alice giggled. "She's got an eccentric taste."
Rose nodded at her daughter. "But it works for her. She dresses to flatter her
body, and she didn't have to give up her own personal style. You know I don't
approve of her life, but that being said, she lives exactly the life she wants."
"You think she lives exactly the life she wants because of her clothes?" Bella
asked.
"I think it's all part of a package. Dress for success, whatever success means to
you."
- 20 -
Bella sat at the table refusing to look at anyone. Ridiculous as it was, she always
felt defective as a woman when this kind of thing came up. She didn't understand
these 'rules' that seemed to come to Alice and Rosalie so easily. She hated shopping
with a passion. All throughout high school, she'd mostly worn undershirts with one
of Emmett's old plaid shirts. Both Rosalie and Alice had tried to get her to find a
better style, but it only led to frustration. Every once in awhile, Bella would make an
effort to wear something they'd bought for her only to be told "You don't wear boots
in the summer, Bella," or "there are three different patterns and two colors on that
shirt; that's way too busy for an article of clothing!"
The way they talked made her feel like she was under constant scrutiny from
everyone and their mother. Maybe it was true. Bella hardly noticed anyone else's
clothes save for a few times when a dress was particularly pretty or when Lady Gaga
wore meat. But she knew she was unusual. People, women in particular, thrived on
picking apart the fashion choices of others. When she thought about what her aunt
and cousin were saying, she always got the overwhelming feeling she was being
judged. It made her want to figure out "good" fashion even less.
Rosalie touched her hair, running her fingers through the dark strands. "You have
such pretty features, Bella. Look at this beautiful hair. It would take so little effort
for you to look amazing."
"God, Rose. Stop it. Just stop."
Bella's head snapped up, and she looked across the table. Edward wasn't looking
at her but glaring at his sister-in-law.
Rose glared right back. "What's your problem?"
"You know, people like you are the reason women have so many self-image
problems. There's nothing wrong with how Bella dresses. Leave her alone." His eyes
flicked from Rosalie to Bella and back.
"Stay out of this, Edward. Like you have anything to say."
"I have plenty to say."
"No, you don't. You're the kind of asshole who causes broken hearts. How would
you know how to fix them?"
"My heart is not broken," Bella interjected.
- 21 -
"Right now, you're the only one who's hurting her," Edward said. He looked to his
brother. "You have nothing to say here? You're the closest thing she has to a father.
I know you worry about Alice as it is. Do you really want Bella out there with
drunken frat boys in the painted on jeans your daughter wears?"
"Dude, you told me to lay off about Alice."
"And who said anything-" Rosalie began, but she was interrupted.
Bella smacked her palm down on the table. "Enough! I'm still in the room, you
know." She pointed at her cousin and aunt. "I am not a Barbie doll. You don't want
me to dress up according to my style, you want me in yours. If and when I'm
interested in that, believe me, you'll be the first to know." She turned her glare on
Edward. "Thank you for the sentiment, but you're being too hard on them. They just
have a different viewpoint on what it takes to be a strong, independent woman, and
they aren't wrong. They just don't understand why it's not the way I choose to
express myself." Finally, Bella turned to Emmett. His eyes widened, but she smiled
at him. "Awesome job not sticking your foot in your mouth this time. Carry on."
She grabbed an already assembled sandwich and stormed out of the kitchen
before anyone could say another word.
It was only about twenty minutes later there was a knock on her door. Bella was
surprised to find a contrite looking Edward standing outside.
"So sorry, duckling." He perched on the edge of her bed next to where she was
sitting. "That was out of line. You must understand, I'm around people, particularly
women, who think of nothing but what they look like."
"That's understandable. In Hollywood... well, I guess really everywhere, a woman
is constantly judged not on the value of her work or, in your business, her talent, but
her looks."
Edward nodded. "Yes." An uncertain look flitted across his features as he raised
his hand.
Though Edward had touched her a thousand times before, when he brushed his
fingers down her cheek, the movement slow and light, there was something
different. Something made her heart race and her throat tighten. Something made
her eyes linger on his and the air in the room start to buzz.
- 22 -
"I meant what I said. You're a very beautiful girl, duckling." His voice seemed
lower than usual, a touch huskier.
Bella felt oddly dizzy. "I... thank you."
His hand dropped and the moment passed, leaving Bella a little breathless. She
cleared her throat, trying to get her wits about her again. "It's really my own fault. I
was whining to Alice and made the mistake of telling her that because Felix and I
broke up, the plans I had to go to a party tonight are nixed."
Edward tilted his head. "Why is that?"
"Oh, the usual. No one understands how I could lose a great catch like Felix." She
rolled her eyes. "So there are all sorts of rumors going around. Anyway. Long story
short, I'm assuming I'm uninvited from certain events."
"Ah. I see."
"It's really not a big deal. It upsets Alice way more than it does me. She lives
vicariously through me, so she's bummed."
Edward didn't answer. He rubbed his chin, his expression thoughtful.
"Cancelled plans can be a big disappointment," he said after a minute. "Why don't
we go out. Just you and me? I'm sure we can find some way to fill the hours you
would have been around obnoxious college coeds."
Bella raised an eyebrow. "Aren't you here because you want to keep a low profile
for a little bit?"
Edward waved his hand. "I know how to keep a low profile and still have fun. It's
easier in Seattle anyway. Not a lot of paps just hanging around waiting for a big star
to appear. Besides, you'd be doing me a favor. It would be good to get out of the
house for an evening." He grinned at her, and Bella couldn't help but grin back.
"What do you say?"
"Sure, why not." She stretched, putting on a bored expression. "I suppose I could
deign to lend my company to Hollywood royalty. It seems like the polite thing to do."
He laughed, catching her under the chin with a crooked finger. "How very good of
you." He stood. "We'll head out at eight." He let his eyes sweep over her in a
mock-assessing manner. "I do hope you're not planning to wear that." He winked at
- 23 -
her and was gone in the next second.
- 24 -
Night on the Town
Edward bit back a grin at the pensive look on Bella's face when she handed over
her license to the doorman. He looked and raised his head to acknowledge Edward.
"She's your responsibility," he warned.
Edward nodded. "Don't worry. This one isn't too much trouble." He smiled
innocently at Bella's glare.
The man handed their ID's back. His eyes narrowed at Edward. "Hey, you look
familiar."
"I get that a lot. One of those faces, I suppose." Putting his hand on the small of
Bella's back, he guided her quickly through the door.
"Low profile, huh?" Bella shook her head. "Like you could actually pull that off."
Edward waved a hand at her. "We're fine. Men his age rarely know or care who I
am. That's why this place is perfect. Teenagers and older men aren't my
demographic."
"Uh, slick. I don't know if you noticed, but there are no teenagers here seeing as
they require adult supervision." She rolled her eyes. "Arcades with bars in the
middle of them are a prime date night destination with the twenty-somethings. You
know. Your core demographic." She laughed at the way he adjusted his hat and
grimaced. "Serves you right. I can't believe this is where you brought me. I'm not
twelve anymore."
"You just said this is a choice destination for the oh-so-mature." He slipped his
arm around her shoulders, walking her past the pool tables toward the main arcade
floor. "Behave yourself, duckling. I told the man at the door you were a good girl. I'd
hate to have to spank you in front of all these people."
Nostalgia was one of the factors that went into Edward's decision to take Bella out
to the arcade. The last time it had been just the two of them they'd come here, and
she had indeed been around twelve. He wanted to tease her about her age, and it
worked. The face she'd pulled when they parked in front of the arcade made him
laugh.
- 25 -
Beyond that, though, Edward remembered Bella could be quite competitive. It got
drowned out. Emmett and Alice's competitive natures were louder, but Bella's was
no less fierce. Maybe she wasn't heartbroken over this Felix character, but he was
willing to bet she could still use the physical release.
Sure enough, it didn't take much prodding for Bella to get into the swing of
gaming. She teased him when he led them over to an old House of the Dead
shooting game. "I understand why you like this game. The graphics are amazing for
someone who's used to Pong."
"Eyes on the screen, Swan. I'm not going to save you when the zombies swarm."
Bella turned out to be surprisingly good. Edward had to stop himself from
laughing at the little dance she did whenever she got a head shot.
"No, wait!" Bella wrapped her hand around his wrist, stopping him before he
could swipe their card to keep the game going after the boss had bested them. "This
game has no payoff."
"Oh, I see. You want me to win you another giant stuffed animal?"
"You didn't win me a stuffed animal. I got the electronic dartboard, remember? I
still have that thing." Her eyes sparkled. She was having a good time, and that made
Edward happy. "How about this. I'll win something for you this time."
Edward cocked an eyebrow. "Oh, great. So I can look forward to one of those
Chinese fingercuffs? Maybe a bouncy ball if we're really lucky."
"Ye of little faith." Her fingers were still wrapped around his wrist. She dragged
him in the direction of the ticket games. "Come on. Pick one. And not skeeball. That
game doesn't give enough tickets."
"Any game?"
"Any one."
Edward tried not to look smug. "The basketball game then."
To his surprise, Bella's grin only widened. She took the card from his hand, swiped
it, and handed it back. "Just keep swiping it. I'm going to be busy."
Edward watched, absolutely astonished, as Bella, little Bella who'd tripped over
- 26 -
her feet every time she tried to keep up with her uncle and cousin when they played
any kind of sport, made basket after basket. "Holy crow. How are you doing this,
Bella?"
She chanced a glance at him. "Don't break my concentration."
The consistent swish of the basket made for a satisfying rhythm. It was a slow
tempo at first, but then the game got challenging. The basket moved and the balls
began to come faster. Bella kept up. Over and over she tossed the balls, never
missing. Edward began to hold his breath, waiting for the inevitable twang of the
hoop as a ball bounced off. It never came.
"Hold this," Bella said, shrugging out of her sweater in the small space between
sets. She didn't even look at him as she shoved her sweater in his hands. Her face
was a mask of concentration. She was a woman on a mission.
The game restarted, faster than ever, but Bella proved up to the task. "Go, girl.
Go. Yes!" Edward found himself caught up in the adrenaline, cheering her on. The
game was going crazy, adding to the noise and atmosphere. Other people were
beginning to notice.
"Oh, man," someone said. "She's going to hit the jackpot."
"No way. I've seen it. The hoop goes crazy."
As the speed of the moving hoop got faster, Bella did miss a shot here or there,
but most of them continued to go in. Her face was flushed, her breath was quick, but
she didn't stop.
"Come on. You can do it. You can do it!"
Edward had been courtside for real basketball games. He'd never been this
excited.
Just as the onlooker had predicted, the hoop started to go crazy. It was moving so
fast, Edward had no idea how she was making any of her shots, let alone most of
them.
"You got it! You got it!"
Bella's arm arched as she shot the last basket she needed. It went in, nothing but
net. Both the game and the crowd went wild. Edward caught her around the waist,
- 27 -
lifting her up high as he twirled her around in triumph. When he let her go, she slid
down his body so they were face to face. "That was amazing, baby girl."
Her eyes locked on his, and for a moment all Edward could feel was the heat
radiating off her skin. She felt good in his arms, and the happiness in her eyes...
But before that thought could become concrete, one of the onlookers tapped on
her back, drawing her attention. "Holy hell, honey. You're a rockstar."
Bella ducked her head, her smile shy as she accepted the congratulations of the
small crowd.
Once Edward had collected all her tickets, he nodded in the direction of the bar.
"Come on. If that doesn't warrant a celebratory drink, I don't know what does."
"What? I can't drink."
"You can get a coke." He winked. "Or you can get whatever you want. I won't tell
the doorman if you won't."
When they were at the bar, Bella lost her nerve. She ordered a coke. Having
figured she was going to do that, Edward ordered one of the sweet speciality drinks.
When their order came, he took her coke, leaving her the drink.
She raised an eyebrow.
"You're safe with me, duckling."
Bella grinned, picking up the drink and taking him by the wrist again. "Come on. I
want to play one of those coin dump games."
An hour later, Edward was the proud owner of an obnoxiously big yellow duck,
and they were officially done with video games.
"We can't go home yet. I'm tipsy." She giggled as though she liked the way the
word felt on her tongue. "Rose will be able to tell, and I don't want to hear it."
"You're more than tipsy." Edward chuckled as he put his big yellow duck in the
backseat of the car. He tapped his chin. "You up for a little bit of a walk?"
- 28 -
"Sure."
She was quite tipsy. As they walked, she kept bumping into him. More than once,
he had to reach out, grabbing her around the waist to keep her from careening into
someone else. Bella thought the whole thing was too funny. Occasionally, she would
press her head against his back, laughing at herself while he reached back to steady
her.
She wasn't an annoying drunk at all. He found her rather amusing.
Some blocks later, Edward found the small jazz club he'd been looking for. Sure
enough, on a Friday night, there was someone playing and the room was thick with
people. He knew he could get lost in this crowd.
He did use his name to get Bella in the door without question, but after that he
didn't see anyone looking. Bella surprised him again when she headed for the middle
of the floor rather than look at the tables around the edges.
As Edward watched her sway to the music, a peculiar, warm feeling spread
through him. It was like earlier that day at lunch, when Alice's antics had Bella's
shirt riding up, exposing a strip of her skin. Just as then, he realized with a start that
Bella had a beautiful body.
For the first time, he noticed what she was wearing. Despite her protest, it
seemed like maybe her aunt and cousin had gotten to her. The shirt she was wearing
was cut for a woman's body type, showing off her shape. Edward remembered
Alice's claim she had a nice ass. Right then, it was impossible to deny she was right.
When Bella spun around to face him, Edward jumped back guiltily. He hadn't
meant to look at her like he would look on any other woman.
But Bella didn't seem to notice. "This is great. I like this song a lot," she said over
the din.
Edward, seeing a man eyeing her, stepped closer so that her body brushed his as
she swayed.
They listened to two different singers. Edward only left her side once to get them
something to drink. Coke for her this time.
"So what do you think, duckling?" Edward ducked his head so his lips were near
her ear. "Would you rather be at your party?"
- 29 -
Her smile was wide as she looked at him, and she pushed up on her tiptoes, her
lips accidentally brushing his ear. "What party?" She pulled back enough to peck his
cheek before she looked toward the stage again.
Edward was pleased with himself. Bella's obvious happiness made him smile. The
bubble of comfort was broken a few seconds later when a flash went off. Edward
sighed when he caught sight of the culprit.
Still, he waited until the end of the set before he ducked close to Bella again.
"Come on, duckling. We have to go. Twitter knows where we are by now." He
nodded his head in the direction of a group of women who had their heads bent
together, whispering to each other and looking in his direction.
Bella looked confused for a second, but she caught on quickly. She let him lead
her out the side entrance. It wasn't far to the car, but it was late and Bella was
obviously tired. Edward called for a ride.
"It must suck having to run away," she said when they were in the back of the cab.
She'd only scooted as far as the middle seat when they got in the cab, so she was
close enough to Edward that she could rest her head on his shoulder. He glanced at
her, noticing her eyes were hooded. She was pretty close to falling asleep.
"It does." Edward brushed a strand of hair off her face. "They say it's the price of
fame, and I should be happy to deal with things like this and the paps who hound me
back home. This is what I signed up for when I became an actor."
"That's such bullshit." Her response was mumbled. She was doing that slow blink.
"Yeah, well..." Edward didn't have much more to say on the subject than that, but
there was no need to say anything else. She'd already fallen asleep against his
shoulder.
- 30 -
Morning After
Bella didn't wake up until about ten the next morning. Her mouth was dry and
tasted nasty, but other than that she felt decent. When she'd worried out loud the
night before that she would have a hangover, Edward had promised she wouldn't.
He kept her well hydrated, matching each drink she had with water.
It was sweet of him to take care of her. Bella's cheeks tinted as she recalled how
silly she'd been the night before. She'd been in such a good mood. The music made
her body want to sway, and she was comfortable in Edward's presence.
Still, as she looked back, she realized when she fell asleep in the cab, she'd been
dead to the world. She vaguely remembered getting into Edward's car under her
own power, but she couldn't for the life of her remember arriving home. She
groaned, wondering if she'd been passed out enough that he'd carried her upstairs
to her room.
Oh, well. From all the stories Bella heard from her friends, it was unlikely they
would be embarrassed in her shoes. Everyone got sleepy after drinking, right?
And really. Superstar Edward Cullen had carried her up the stairs and put her to
bed. It was straight out of a movie.
When she closed her eyes, Bella had a brief flash of memory.
The room was dark when she opened her eyes. Her thoughts were thick, but she
tried to mumble something about being able to walk.
"Shhh." His lips were against her ear. "I have you. You can sleep."
She opened her eyes, seeing him perched beside her on the bed as he tucked her
in. It struck her as funny. Here he was, People's Most Beautiful Person of the year,
and he was in her bedroom, on her bed.
They were right; he was beautiful. It wasn't as though she hadn't acknowledged it
before, but his face was so close, it was impossible not to stare.
She might have reached up to touch the stubble along his chin, as if to assure
herself he was real. She wasn't sure this whole moment actually existed. Maybe it
didn't. She'd seen every one of his movies, of course. Something like this had
- 31 -
happened in at least three of his movies. She could have been dreaming the whole
thing, like the way his fingers moved through her hair, finding the bobby pins Alice
had put in for her. His eyes were on her as she touched him.
The scratchy hair at his chin felt real enough under her fingertips though.
He chuckled and cupped the side of her face. His thumb stroked her cheek, and
Bella couldn't name the feeling that coursed through her then. It was the same
familiarity she was used to but something else.
He probably hadn't put her to bed since she was four, and this was nothing like
that.
His hand lingered on her face and hers on his. Bella felt dizzy, and she was acutely
aware it had nothing to do with the alcohol. His eyes lingered on her.
"Go to sleep, duckling." His voice was a gravelly whisper, and Bella still wasn't
thinking very clearly.
"Okay," she said and let her eyes close.
Bella shook her head, feeling warm. She brushed the pads of her fingers over her
cheek, wondering again if her memory was real.
And why it mattered.
Dismissing that thought, Bella left her room, headed for the bathroom. "Holy shit,"
she muttered, getting a glimpse of herself in the mirror.
Alice giggled, coming up behind her. "This is what people look like doing the walk
of shame."
Bella cocked an eyebrow, looking at her cousin in the mirror. "What do you know
about the walk of shame?"
"Oh, give me a break. I'm sixteen, not six, and anyway, it was on an episode of
How I Met Your Mother. I've never done the walk of shame away from Jasper, if
that's what you're asking."
"Fair enough." Bella yawned.
"I'm not ashamed after a night with him," Alice said in an innocent voice.
- 32 -
Bella glared at her, and then shook her head. She and Alice were close. If she was
having sex with Jasper, Bella would have been the first to know.
Alice looked her up and down. "Why did you sleep in your clothes?"
"Because I was too tired to take them off last night." Bella grimaced and groaned.
"Christ, this bra probably left a permanent mark." She reached up under her shirt to
undo the clasp of her bra. "This is what I get for listening to you."
"What. Ever. You were hardly dressed up last night."
"Did you know, studies show there is absolutely no real value in bras? They don't
help anything."
"The value is in the aesthetics. Did you see your boobs last night?" Her cousin
wagged a finger in her face. "Ah-huh. You did! For once. That's value, baby."
"My value as a woman shouldn't be linked to how big my breasts look."
Alice rolled her eyes. "Regardless. You looked really good last night." Her eyes
brightened, and she bounced on her feet. "Come on. Tell me the truth. The guys
must have been checking you out wherever you went."
"I wouldn't know. I didn't look."
Bella wasn't a slob. While she preferred comfortable and easy on a day to day
basis, she did try a little harder when she was going out. This time, though, she had
let Alice talk her into a more fitted style with a bra that enhanced her natural gifts.
Whether she thought it was ridiculous or not, Bella knew the world judged people
based on how they looked. And as familiar as she was with Edward, she could hardly
forget he was an internationally known superstar. Maybe they wouldn't end up in
the gossip rags because it was doubtful a paparazzi was randomly wandering around
Seattle, but someone was going to recognize him. Someone was going to take his
picture. And in the age of social media, that picture was probably going to get
around.
Bella didn't want to embarrass him, so she tried to be conscious of the reality of
his world.
Alice gave an exasperated growl. "Really, Bella? You had amazing arm candy, and
you didn't even bother to use it? You could have made the guys and girls jealous last
- 33 -
night."
"You're talking about your uncle. You realize that right?"
"It's an objective assessment. It's not my fault I come from good genes."
"Anyway! The other guys were jealous I was with him and not them, but not
because I'm hot or he's hot." Bella smirked at her cousin. "I won him a huge duck at
the arcade."
Alice scrunched her nose. "He took you to an arcade?"
"Yep."
"God, you both suck. That's so lame."
Bella laughed, reaching for her brush so she could begin to untangle the bird's
nest that was her hair. "It's not like it was a date, Alice. It was fun. You remember
doing things just for fun, right? Not to make complete strangers jealous or for
attention."
"I think attention is a lot of fun. And it makes Jasper feel good too, that other guys
are jealous he has such a hot girlfriend." She smacked her own ass, giving Bella a
sassy smile in the mirror.
Bella shook her head, smiling at Alice indulgently. "Well, like I said. It's not like
Edward is my boyfriend." She brushed her teeth, watching as Alice crossed her
arms, looking disgruntled.
"Still. An arcade is lame. I'm very disappointed. Not so much in you as him. You'd
think he has more of an imagination."
Bella spat out her toothpaste and rinsed her mouth. "Well, if it makes you feel
better, he did get me drunk."
"What?!"
Laughing, Bella brushed by her stunned cousin, heading for the stairs.
In the living room, she found Edward alone with a cup of coffee and his big yellow
duck beside him. Bella chortled, drawing his attention, and he looked up with a
smirk. "Good morning, sleeping beauty. Glad you decided to join the land of the
- 34 -
living."
"It's only ten-thirty."
"For an early riser like you, it might as well be three." He stood up as Alice came
in the room. He tucked his niece under his arm for a good morning hug before he
kissed Bella's forehead. "Rosalie left some breakfast sandwiches for us. Why don't
you keep Ducky here-" he gestured at the obnoxious stuffed animal, "company for
me, duckling. Alice, come help me pour the orange juice."
"Uncle, what the heck are you going to do with a duck like that?" Alice asked as
they walked to the kitchen.
"I haven't figured that out yet. I suppose I'll have to buy an extra seat on the
plane."
"Hah." Alice's voice turned sly. "So, Unc. Now that I know your feelings on
underage drinking, you think maybe you and me can hang out?"
"Alice!" Bella yelled from the living room.
Edward just laughed.
- 35 -
Uh Oh
It took Edward a long while to figure out why he liked his brother's house so much
better than his own. Shouldn't it have been the opposite? After all, Edward's house
was tailored 100% to his own tastes. His mother had fixed up the house for him. In
most people's world, that would be a recipe for disaster, but Esme Cullen's career
revolved around turning houses into homes. She was damn good at what she did.
Both her sons' homes had received her personal touch. Edward was happy with
what his mother had done, and yet, sitting alone in Emmett's house, he felt more at
peace in a space that wasn't made for him.
Strange.
There was something different about the feel of the house. Though he was alone -
everyone was at work or school - he didn't feel lonely. Maybe that was the
difference. His brother's house was home to a family.
Edward was laying on the couch, glad to have nothing better to do for a time than
turn these thoughts over in his head when the door opened. "Honey, I'm home."
He sat up, opening his arms as Bella walked into the room. She let her bag slip to
the ground and went to him. "You know what's wrong with you?" he asked as she
settled on his lap, her head on his shoulder.
"There's only one thing?"
"When I went to school, you bet your sweet ass I didn't take classes that started at
eight."
Bella raised her head, an innocent expression on her face. "You think my ass is
sweet?"
He stared. She laughed. "You went to school for funsies, Edward. You were
already a well paid actor by that point."
"And what on earth does that have to do with anything, duckling? The issue here
is not why either of us is in school in the first place but freedom of choice. There are
afternoon classes, after all."
- 36 -
Bella wrinkled her nose. "That's true. Don't mind me. My brain is well and truly
fried right now. I was just thinking if I could get away without a language credit, I
would. Spanish three at eight in the morning followed by Physics and then History
scrambles my brain."
Edward whistled. "You are a glutton for punishment, aren't you? It's Freshman
year. You're supposed to be taking the ridiculous classes just because you can and
staying up until all hours of the night doing things your parents disapprove of."
She tapped on his nose. "My parent would disapprove of me being so serious, so
mission accomplished."
Edward hummed. "Well, it is a dangerous way of life. Let's see about these
scrambled brains of yours. That sounds like a very grave condition." He traced the
tip of a single finger around the shell of her ear, tucking her hair back over her
shoulder. He ducked his head to peer in her ear.
Bella squeaked, wiggling on his lap when he probed her ear with the tip of his
pinky. "Edward," she protested.
"Settle down now, duckling." He moved one hand to her hip, pressing to still her
wriggling. "Scrambled brains are not to be taken lightly. A very thorough
examination should be conducted. Let me assess the damage."
She sighed, settling down as he looked in her ear again. She shivered and tittered,
giving a little gasp when he blew down the canal.
"Uh oh. Hear that?" He blew again, holding her tightly around the waist as she
squirmed. "It's like a wind tunnel." His finger followed the trail of her hairline all the
way down her neck. "I'm afraid the damage might be permanent. You'll never think
again."
"Right now, that doesn't seem like a huge sacrifice." She smirked at him, lowering
her voice. "I guess you're going to have to keep an eye on me so I don't make any
bad decisions."
A chill went down Edward's spine at her words, and he found himself tongue tied.
Bella didn't seem to notice. Her eyes closed as she yawned, making the smallest
sound in the back of her throat. Vixen to kitten in half a second.
Pushing the odd thought back, Edward hooked his finger under her chin, tilting
her head up so he could look her in the eye. "You're tired."
- 37 -
Her smile was sleepy. "Yeah. Tuesdays and Thursdays are hard. Mondays and
Wednesdays are easier, and I only have one class on Friday." She yawned again.
"You're right. I have no idea what made me think this was a good idea. I just liked
the idea of getting all my classes done before three every day."
As she spoke, she wound her arms around his neck. Her fingers toyed with the
hairs at his nape in a mindless way. Beyond peaceful, Edward felt content, as though
he might start purring any moment. She was warm and small in his arms, a
reassuring weight that chased away whatever loneliness lingered just under his
skin. He toyed with the idea of cuddling her closer like his big yellow duck and
taking a nap with her right there on the couch. Instead, he just rested his head
against her crown, enjoying the comfort of the moment.
Just as Edward was about to offer his lap as a pillow, she lifted her head from his
shoulder. With her face so close, his eyes were drawn to the smattering of freckles
across the bridge of her nose. Her skin was so smooth, completely unblemished
except for those freckles. And soft. He remembered the silk feel of her skin beneath
his fingertips when he'd tucked her into bed a few nights before.
Remembering the way her fingers played along his chin made Edward feel warm.
He cocked his head, lost in thought as he looked on her. He studied her, taking in
the the individual features of her face. The set of her eyes, the shape of her nose, the
purse of her lips. Bella had been an awkward child, hadn't she? Never ugly but not
beatific either. As he looked, he could see the same asymmetry still existed, but it
wasn't awkward any longer. It was pleasing. He watched the way her cheeks tinted
pink as he drew his fingers over them. That was pleasing, too.
"What are you staring at?" She raised a hand to brush at her face as though she
was sure he'd spotted crumbs she'd missed from lunch.
Edward hadn't meant to start staring, so it took him a moment to compose a
response. "I was just thinking your friend Felix is an ass and an idiot. You're very
beautiful, Bella." He couldn't see any harm in the truth.
Bella's cheeks glowed scarlett, and she ducked her head. Girls her age didn't hear
those words often enough in Edward's experience. It was obvious she wasn't used to
hearing it. "You're lying."
"Why would you say that?"
"Don't get me wrong. This isn't a self-esteem thing. I know I'm not ugly, but come
- 38 -
on. Compared to the girls you're used to, I might fall into the pretty category, but
beautiful is pushing it." She was teasing, but there was a tightness around her eyes
that told him she believed her words.
Edward shifted her in his arms so she was sitting up straighter and they were eye
to eye. "Well, let me tell you something, Bella Swan. I'm surrounded by pretty day in
and day out, but you're wrong about beauty. Beauty is rare." He tapped on her nose.
"And you are beautiful."
Her eyes were wide as she stared back at him. She opened her mouth as though
she had something to say, but no sound came out.
Something shifted in the air between them. Where he'd felt content and peaceful
just a minute before, there was a charge to the atmosphere that so caught Edward
by surprise, his breath stuttered. It was a moment of blind intensity, and for a
handful of seconds, Edward felt a thrill of anticipation. For what, he couldn't say,
but his body tensed, waiting for action.
The door slamming open made both of them jump. "Edward!"
Bella's arms tightened around him, and they both looked to the front entryway as
Emmett came around the corner, calling for his brother. His eyes narrowed at the
scene he walked in on. Edward's first instinct was to be guilty, but what a ridiculous
thought that was. He wasn't doing anything wrong, after all. "Can I help you,
Emmett?"
His brother's shoulders rose and fell sharply.
"Are you okay?" Bella asked.
Emmett's eyes softened as he looked at her. "Just fine, sweetheart." He looked
back toward Edward. "Can I talk to you for a second? Outside?"
Edward raised an eyebrow. He couldn't help but laugh. Bella let him go, sliding
onto the couch as he got to his feet. "You want to talk to me outside? What, are you
about to kick my ass?"
He was joking but the way Emmett's mouth twitched made his smile fall. His
brother was pissed about something. "What's a matter with you?"
"Outside," Emmett demanded. He pointed to Bella. "You stay here. We'll be right
back."
- 39 -
Confused and irritated, Edward followed Emmett outside. Before he could ask
again what the hell Emmett's problem was, his brother grabbed a fistful of his shirt
and shoved him hard against the wall.
"What the fuck is wrong with you?"
"That's what I want to know." Emmett shook him with one hand as he brandished
a newspaper with another. "What the fuck is this?" He shoved the thing against
Edward's chest, taking a step back and standing there with his hands in his fists at
his side.
Edward's eyes lingered on Emmett for a fraction of a second more before he
looked down at the paper in his hands. "Oh, fuck."
It was a tabloid paper with the headline proclaiming: Edward Cullen - Bachelor No
More? The picture on the cover was from that Friday night, obviously taken when he
and Bella were walking from the arcade to the jazz club. She was leaning into him,
and he had his arms around her as they walked. He must have been spotted in the
arcade and some pap got really lucky because these were not cell phone images.
The one saving grace was that Bella's face wasn't visible. She was looking up at him
and he down at her.
"Yeah, oh fuck." Emmett shoved him. "What the hell is wrong with you? You sick
bastard. She's a kid."
"What are you talking about?" Edward shoved his brother right back, getting more
pissed. "What the hell is wrong with you? You think I asked for this shot to be taken?
You know-"
"You think I give a fuck about people taking your picture?" Emmett was up in his
face, intimidating as hell with his size. "What, were you just waiting for Bella to turn
eighteen so you could get a piece?"
Edward stared at his furious brother for three full seconds before he exploded.
"Are you insane? Have you utterly lost your mind?"
"Are you? What the hell were you thinking? Bella isn't one of your cheap-"
"For fuck's sake, Emmett. How many years of this bullshit. You know what they
print is all lies. Why the hell would you think any of this nonsense is true?"
"I know what I see."
- 40 -
"What you see is me steadying her because she was tipsy, okay? That's the only
reason I'm holding her like that, because she wasn't walking steady." It was
definitely the lesser of two evils to confess to.
"You got her drunk? You son of a-"
"I didn't get her drunk. I let her drink. With me. Because it was safe, and I never
let her out of my sight and I would never take advantage of her. Who the fuck do you
think I am?" He ducked out of his brother's reach, afraid he was going to deck him.
"Jesus Christ. What did you think, that I seduced her?"
Emmett said nothing but he yanked back the paper. Flipping to the inside, shook
it in Edward's face. Edward grabbed the paper back, looking, and he groaned.
Again, the saving grace here was Bella's face was obscured. She'd been bopping
around too much, her hair in her eyes, for the pap to get a good picture. Still, the
images made it easy to imagine they were making out in the backseat.
"This is crap, Emmett. She was dead tired. I didn't touch her like that. I wouldn't."
Emmett glared, but he didn't speak right away. His hands flexed at his sides, but
he looked as though he was trying to calm down. "Swear to me nothing happened."
"Nothing. Happened. I'm really at a loss to explain why you would think something
would happen. You know I love Bella. I'd do anything to protect her. What makes
you think I would do this?"
"Because I've never seen you look at anyone the way you're looking at her." He
grabbed the newspaper back and pointed to his photograph on the front page. "Look
at you, Edward. Look at your face and tell me what I'm supposed to think. Blase
Edward Cullen. You're never smiling in those pictures with other women. You look
bored. Always. Rose and I joke about it all the time. But here? Holding her like you
are... just look at your face."
Edward didn't look. He stared at his brother, his heart pounding erratically and
his throat tight. He swallowed hard. "She's a child."
"That's my point."
"Nothing happened."
Emmett sighed. "Fine. I believe you. Sorry."
- 41 -
Edward took a deep breath, calming down. "I'm only sorry they caught her. It
could have been worse. At least you can't tell who she is."
"Yeah." Emmett shook his head. "Rose is going to kill you for letting her drink."
"Yes, well." Edward shrugged, unconcerned. He was more distracted by his
brother's words, wondering if there was really something so different about the way
he looked at Bella and if so, why that was.
- 42 -
What Just Happened
At first, Bella assumed Edward's bad mood was related to the tabloids. Heaven
knew Rosalie was upset. She kept ranting about how irresponsible Edward was
letting her drink first of all, then having her out in the open where anyone could
take a picture.
Bella wondered why anyone was reason she'd dressed up at all was because she
knew the likelihood someone would see them together was high. And if someone
saw them, there was no way it wouldn't be all over the social networks.
Someone always knew where Edward Cullen was. He'd complained about it often
enough.
But long after Rosalie calmed down, Edward continued to wallow. Nothing
seemed to alleviate his bad mood.
When she came back home from her one class, Bella found Edward moping on the
couch. The TV was on, but he wasn't really watching. She sat down next to him. His
only reaction was to shift further into the corner of the couch.
"Oh, there it is."
Edward glanced at her. "What?"
"That pout that everyone talks about. Like in every interview, they're always
talking about how you're pouting. Some girls go gaga over it. And I have to admit,
the little lip thing is adorable."
"What lip thing?"
She reached out, touching his lower lip with the tip of her finger and mimicking
his pout. "That lip. Your scowl. They always say you look so bored. But oh, of course.
The pout looks good on you." She sighed. "Everything looks good on you. If the tabs
had caught my face, they would be like, 'look at that girl. She never smiles. Smile,
girl, smile.'"
He huffed. "I don't pout all the time."
"Well, I didn't think you did, but here you are. Pout, pout, pout." She rested her
- 43 -
head against his shoulder. "You need to cheer up, Edward, or I'm going to start
believing what the tabs say. That you're desperately in love with this mystery
brunette." She laughed.
He didn't.
"Oh, come on, Edward. Is this really about the pictures? It's fine." She grinned.
"You know, Alice said I should reveal myself?"
"What? Why?"
"Part of the 'show Felix' campaign." She shook her head. "Like why would I be
wrecked over him dumping me if I could have you?"
Again he didn't return her smile. He turned away from her, staring fixedly
forward.
"Okay. What is up with you?"
"Nothing," he said too quickly.
Bella pursed her lips. "It's something."
"I'm just thinking, that's all."
"Uh huh." Bella wasn't buying. She studied him for a few moments before she
drew her legs up onto the couch and moved closer to him.
He eyed her, his expression wary. "Bella, what are you doing?"
"If you're not going to tell me what's bugging you, there's only one way I have left
to make you smile again."
"Don't-" he began, but she had already lunged.
As someone who'd known him for all her life, Bella was privy to information she
knew the most the interviewers in Hollywood would die for. She knew how to make
Edward smile on demand. It was something she'd discovered when she was still tiny,
and she would climb him like a jungle gym like she did her uncle Emmett.
Edward was ticklish. In the extreme.
- 44 -
So Bella attacked without mercy, forcing him to smile and giggle and writhe. He
squirmed, but Bella was relentless. He fell backward, trying to scramble away from
her. She was over him in a heartbeat. "Bella," he gasped. "Bella, stop." He was
breathless. "Bella!" He grabbed her wrists, holding them tight in both his hands.
Bella had no idea what happened. One minute they were both laughing - Edward
because she was tickling him, and Bella reveling in his chortling. The second he
grabbed her wrists time stood still. Their laughter faded to nothing, and Bella was
suddenly very aware of her position.
She was on top of him. Chest to chest as they were, she could feel his fast
heartbeat. His face was flushed. Hers was too. Heat radiated off their skin.
Bella's head spun, every thought scattering like birds taking flight. Her mind was
blank. Her throat was tight.
Edward sat up, taking her with him. He released her wrists, and her hands fell
limply down in her lap. She was still looking at him, and he had not broken their
stare. They were still so close. No closer than usual, so why it felt different, Bella
was at a loss to explain. Her heart raced.
"Bella," Edward whispered. She opened her mouth to respond but found she had
no words. His breath stuttered, and he raised his hand, brushing his fingertips down
her cheek. Her skin felt hot, like fire but without the pain, where he touched her.
He swallowed hard.
And stood so suddenly she gasped.
"I, um..." He ran his hand through his hair. "I'm going home. Tonight."
Bella felt dumb, her thoughts tacky around the edges. "What?"
"I have to go home. My newest project starts rehearsals in a week, and I could use
the time to get into the right headspace."
"Oh." Bella didn't know what to say. She'd always hated saying goodbye to
Edward, knowing it was likely she wouldn't see him for another year or more. "Back
to work." Her tone was flat.
"Yeah." He rubbed the back of his neck. "I should pack."
- 45 -
"Do you want me to help?"
"No."
"Oh. Okay."
He hesitated for another handful of moments, the pause pregnant with whatever
was going unsaid here. He took a step toward her before he shook his head. "Yeah.
I'm going to pack."
Bella watched his back as he headed up the stairs and wondered what the hell had
just happened.
- 46 -
Suddenly
Edward purposefully turned his phone off after his brother dropped him off at the
airport. It had been an awkward car ride. He'd shared the backseat with Bella and
had spent the car ride with his arms crossed tightly over his chest, trying not to look
at her. He had hugged her goodbye, but it was a limp, one-armed hug.
He got on the plane and tried not to think about anything, tried to clear his head.
When he got to LAX, he took a deep breath and flipped on his phone. His eyes
skipped over the list of e-mails and messages from people he didn't care about in
that moment and went straight to Bella's name. It was the earliest message, sent
scant minutes after he turned off his phone.
Okay. What did I do? Are you mad at me?
Edward's eyes darted around, looking for paps. They were there, of course. If
someone saw him at SEATAC, the news would have spread across the social media
networks like wildfire. It didn't take a genius to figure out he was most likely
heading home to LA before his shoot started the next week. They were there, of
course. They flashed their cameras in his face and shouted the usual litany of
questions. It was harder than usual for him to just keep walking. They were asking
him lewd and leading questions about his petite brunette friend that made him want
to put his fist through their teeth.
It was another half hour before he was home and he could answer her text.
I'm not mad at you. You didn't do anything. I was just distracted, thinking
about the shoot.
Her response was almost immediate, and Edward felt horrible. He knew she didn't
understand. He'd treated her so coldly so suddenly and she'd done nothing to
deserve it.
Really? It's not you, it's me? Is that the line you're feeding me?
It's true. It was all me. My own issues in my own head. Nothing to do with
you.
I don't believe you.
- 47 -
Edward growled to himself, but he smiled. He should have known she wasn't
going to make it easy on him. And she shouldn't. He knew he'd hurt her with his cold
attitude and that killed him.
My shoot is in Ireland. How about I get you something?
How about you deliver it in person so you can get a redo on that pathetic
hug? I don't care if your layover is 15 minutes. That's the only way I'll
forgive you.
Again, Edward found himself smirking. He pictured her with her arms crossed and
the "don't give me your bullshit, Edward" look she'd mastered when she was nine
and he tried to convince her he really had been to the make-believe land from his
last movie. He tapped on the screen of the phone in an agitated rhythm before he
typed out the one word answer.
Deal.
Really? You don't need to. I was just being a pain in the ass.
If it would set things right between them, Edward would do it. He hated the
uneasy space they'd parted in. And now that he'd had some time to clear his head,
he was more indignant than ever at his brother's accusations. His relationship with
Bella was innocent, and he hated that Emmett's words had made him uncomfortable
around Bella.
Rosalie, on the other hand, had been way he touched Bella had become a little
inappropriate as she made the transition from child to adult. Emmett's words had
made him hyper-aware of the way he and Bella interacted, and if he was being
objective, he could see why others would get confused or in his brother's case,
concerned. Bella had no qualms about holding his hand, leaping on him, or
otherwise acting more familiar with him than most people would with a man who
wasn't her boyfriend. It was that familiarity that had gotten them in "trouble" with
those photos. Their body language sent mixed messages to anyone watching.
In the couple of days between the picture being released and when Edward
decided he needed to head back to LA early, it had really sunk into his head that she
was an adult and the physical closeness they shared could change meanings in a
heartbeat.
That last fact became very apparent to him when she lay on top of him, her face
flushed and gorgeous, and her chest heaving in front of his eyes. She was all woman,
- 48 -
no trace of the little girl he adored, and he was a normal man. Normal men had
normal reactions when beautiful women were pressed up against them. That was all.
There was nothing more to it than that.
Seeing her again would settle the discomfort in the pit of his gut. Bella was a
smart girl. He would explain, and she would understand. They could find a common
ground, and he wouldn't have to lose his girl.
The thought made him feel better. Again he cursed his brother for putting these
thoughts in his head in the first place. Of course he was smiling in those pictures.
Bella made him happy. She was one of the few people in his life who said what she
meant and meant what she said. It was easy to smile around her; it didn't mean
anything more than that. He'd known her since she was a clumsy toddler and he'd
enjoyed her company then, too.
They could work it out. Everything would be fine.
It was four in the morning in Ireland when Edward's phone started ringing off the
hook. He grabbed at it, disoriented, and blinked blearily as he tried to understand
what was going on. Every time his phone stopped ringing, it started right back up
again with a different name on the display.
The first call he was awake enough to receive was from Garrett.
"Man. You're about to be in the middle of a shitstorm if you aren't already."
"What?" Edward pushed himself up and rubbed his eyes. "What the hell is going
on?"
"Really, Edward? You were in an arcade? An arcade. What the fuck were you
doing in an arcade?"
"Garrett. English. Please."
His friend sighed. "I e-mailed you the story."
Edward hit the speaker function on his phone and held it in front of him. He
scrolled to his e-mail and noticed the inbox was even more full than usual. His
stomach was in knots as he pulled up the first e-mail with an attachment. His heart
dropped into his gut as the image came up.
- 49 -
Edward Cullen's Mystery Brunette Revealed: She's Just a Baby! the headline
screamed over a clear enough picture of Bella's face grinning up at him.
The article was a compilation of cell phone pictures that painted a horrible story.
The tab speculated that maybe Edward's tastes ran toward the young crowd. Why
else would he be picking up chicks in an arcade? There was a picture of him handing
her a drink and a smattering of pictures that made it clear she was inebriated. The
way their heads were tilted together in the pictures from the club made it easy to
imagine they could have been kissing. And then, of course, there was a rehash of the
images of her half conscious in the cab.
"Shit," Edward muttered under his breath. They didn't have her name, but that
wouldn't last. Her face was clear in the pictures.
"Yeah," Garrett agreed. "Dude. You look like a creeper. Were you stoned?"
"Garrett, that's Bella. She was bummed out over a boy, and I took her out to
distract her."
"I figured it had to be something like this. It looks bad for you, though."
"I don't care about that. This is..." Edward growled. "Thanks for the heads up,
Garrett. I'm sure my team is trying to get a hold of me."
Edward, with the help of his team, decided to release a small statement. They
identified Bella as a friend of the family but otherwise refused comment. A few of
the network gossip shows made a small issue of the fact that regardless of his
relation to Bella, he'd obviously let an underage girl drink, but that wasn't so big a
sin that it caught on in any real way.
The worst part was when Edward called Bella. Obviously, they'd been expecting
his call because it was Rosalie who answered, and she refused to give Bella the
phone until she'd had her few minutes with Edward.
"Bella is my niece, Edward. I have a responsibility to her. You need to tell me right
now what's going on. Were you really trying to seduce her?"
"Of course not." Edward rubbed the back of his neck, frustrated. "What is with you
and Emmett? I understand how this looks, but you know how the tabs work."
- 50 -
"Those pictures-"
"Come on, Rose. You know how this game is played. You know how a picture at
just the right angle can be misconstrued. It's seeing shapes in the clouds. You
already know she was tipsy, but she was safe with me. I would never take advantage
of anyone, let alone Bella."
"Tell me you're not attracted to her. Tell me all those times she was on your lap
you never touched her like that."
"I don't see her that way, Rosalie. I don't."
Rosalie didn't speak. For a few seconds there was only the sound of both of them
breathing. "It's not just the tabs. A few of your fan sites... I mean, it does sound
convincing, Edward. The way you're looking at her-"
"Not you, too." Edward groaned. "She made me smile, that's all."
"You don't smile. That's the point."
"So she makes me smile. I adore her. You know that. I'm not lusting after her, and
I'm not in love with her."
"She's eighteen."
"I. Know. That."
Rosalie sighed. "Fine."
"Can I talk to her? Please?"
His sister-in-law didn't sound happy, but she agreed. Edward heard the sound of a
door opening, and Bella was already bitching at her aunt for taking her phone away.
"I had to talk to him. Calm down. Here," he heard Rosalie say.
Bella sounded breathless when she answered. "Edward?"
Despite the situation, when he heard her say his name, it was as though a warm
blanket had been settled over his shoulders. "Hey, duckling. Are you angry at me?"
"Why would I be angry at you?"
- 51 -
"I don't know. I probably should have known better than to take you out that
night. People usually snap my picture."
"Yeah, but you didn't have any idea they were going to play it out like that. Really,
it's not a big deal. Rose and Emmett caught the reporters who called the house.
Mostly, my friends are just impressed I know you." She gave a small laugh. "They
said if I don't want you, I can pass on their numbers. They'll feed your perversions."
Edward huffed, but he smiled. "It's gross, isn't it? I'm such an old man."
"I don't think it's gross." She was quiet for a moment, and when she spoke again,
her voice was soft. "I don't really see you as an old man. You aren't old, Edward.
Sean Connery is old... and I'd hit that."
"So would I."
They both laughed, and Edward felt better.
For the rest of the week the shoot lasted, every phone conversation and e-mail he
had with friends and family was about the same thing.
"I'm not in love with her."
"I'm not attracted to her."
"I don't see her like that."
"It's not like that."
Over and over and over again he said the same thing.
Edward knew he could expect the paps to be particularly vile when he came home.
All week, the tabs had tried to stoke the rumor that Edward had seduced Bella. That
he was into much younger women. Or perhaps it was just this one. After all, Edward
Cullen had had Hollywood starlets. What could Bella have done to catch his interest?
The paps had many suggestions, and when he ignored them, they only got worse.
Edward tried to keep his cool. He knew how they worked. He knew they wanted a
reaction. He knew better than to give them one.
- 52 -
He knew.
It was different, though, now that they knew her name. It was different when they
asked if Bella was a slut. If Bella was good on her knees.
"Man," said one as Edward tried to push past to get to his car. "Did you make her
wear pigtails? I would have grabbed onto that and ridden her like the little filly she
is."
"No, dude," another said. "You can see it in her eyes. She's a freak in the sheets.
That why you like her, Cullen? Did she take it up the ass for you? Filthy whore. She
looks the type who would do-"
Edward couldn't take it anymore. He shoved the cameraman backward, his eyes
furious. "Shut up. You don't talk about her. Bella is lovely. She's amazing, and smart,
and you're not worthy enough to say her name, let alone look at her."
Flashbulbs clicked madly, and Edward's gut twisted. He turned away only to come
face to face with another camera. "So you're serious about her? She isn't just a lay?"
"She isn't just anything," he snapped.
"So is this it? Is Edward Cullen finally in love?"
Edward glared at the man, and finally got into his car.
When he was safely away from the airport, he found his thoughts wandering. His
heart was pounding hard. He was kicking himself for losing his temper. His words
would be twisted. He'd never protected the other women he was with like this. They
would make an issue of it. They would make it look...
Like he was in love with her.
Edward should have been on the phone with his team. He needed advise. He
needed someone to tell him he was an idiot for taking their bait, but he couldn't
think about any of that. His thoughts spun a mile a minute as he tried to figure out
the tangle of emotions in him. He was filled with a fierce protectiveness that made
him want to be at Bella's side. What if those vultures encroached on her? What if she
heard the vile things they were saying about her?
He wanted to take her in his arms and...
- 53 -
And...
Edward pulled up to his house and turned off the car. He bristled and stewed in
the relative quiet. The way the paps and tabs talked about her was maddening
because they were wrong. They were so wrong. It killed him that they didn't see her.
A slideshow of images flashed in his head. Bella's smile. The way she danced in
victory in the arcade and swayed at the club. Her jokes. Her laughter.
Her small body warm and just right in the way it fit against his when she was
tickling him.
Her arms around his neck.
Her beauty.
Edward laid his head in his hands on the steering wheel, suddenly wondering if
he'd lied to everyone who'd asked how he felt about Bella.
- 54 -
Suddenly - Bella
"Alice, you're insane." Bella rolled over onto her belly so she could bury her head
under her pillow.
Her very annoying cousin dug her out from her rabbit hole. "I'm not insane. I'm
better at this than you, Bella. Come on. I'll show you."
"I don't need you to show me." As an adult and a college girl, Bella thought she
was safe from the high school girl shenanigans.
"Tell me exactly what he said and your exact answer." How often had Bella heard
Jessica say those words to one of her giggling girlfriends as they sighed over the
latest crush, trying to figure out if he, or she, was interested? Bella had feigned
interest when it was polite but most her energy was used up trying not to roll her
eyes.
But then, Alice was still a high school girl, and her "evidence" was not so
circumstantial. She had video.
Alice plopped down beside her on the bed and put the laptop in front of her face.
"Look, Uncle Edward is always telling us about the nasty shit these guys say to get a
reaction, right? He's been dealing with them almost half his life, and he's never
flinched." She hit play, and Edward's furious face came at the camera. The video
was cut to show the scene from another point of view. Edward shoved the camera
man and said...
Bella's cheeks flushed, and she had to duck her head to hide her smile.
Compliments were nice, that was all.
Her cousin eyed her. "Can't you see, Bella? The reason he freaked out like that
was because they were insulting you. That's what a boy does when someone attacks
his girl. He defends her."
"It's not like that with us."
"He likes you. Like he likes you likes you."
Bella's heartbeat sped up, but she glared at Alice. "This is your uncle you're
- 55 -
talking about. You know that right? Aren't you supposed to find this really creepy?"
Alice rolled her eyes. "I already told you. I have eyes. I know what my uncle looks
like. Come on, Bella. He's been People's most eligible bachelor since he was like
twenty-three. There's a reason for that."
"Ugh." Bella grabbed her pillow and stuck it over her head again.
"You have to see it fits. He's been acting weird lately, right? You told me. He was
acting weird before he left."
Bella didn't answer. She remembered the way her heart ached when he hugged
her without looking at her. She remembered how she sent that first text and
instantly wished she could take it back. It had been agony waiting for the reply. In a
melodramatic moment of panic, she was positive he was never going to talk to her
again.
But they'd sorted that out. Hadn't they?
My own issues in my own head. Nothing to do with you.
What if he'd been lying?
But Bella found it impossible to think a man like Edward could be attracted to her.
She was half his age. She must have seemed like such a child to him.
There had to be another explanation.
So despite her attempt not to, Bella did find herself obsessing over her memories
of their conversations and interactions after those first pictures leaked. The more
she thought about it, the more horrified she was.
If she had to think about it, if she had to really think about it, Bella could see why
her aunt had been so weird about the way they were with each other. It was nothing
at all for Bella to touch him, to sit on his lap and hang from his neck like she'd done
when she was tiny.
But she wasn't tiny anymore.
The way she spoke to him, the way she was with him, could easily be
misconstrued as flirting. What if, after those photos came out, Edward got it into his
head that she was trying to seduce him?
- 56 -
Bella's stomach churned.
No wonder he got the hell out of Dodge.
"Look, Bella, I think-"
"Why are you doing this? Why aren't you just letting this drop?" Bella felt sick to
her stomach and dangerously close to tears, as ridiculous as that was.
Alice cocked her head. "Because when I suggested it to you, you didn't make a
face. You didn't say, 'ew'."
Bella stared back at her cousin, not comprehending what she was trying to say.
"Bella... you like him. Like that."
Bella's stomach churned for different reasons now. She opened her mouth to
argue, but the words tangled. She inhaled sharply. In her head, a litany of images
assaulted her. His smile. His arms around her. The way he'd lifted her high into the
air, his face glowing with pride when she beat that stupid game.
The giddiness that rushed through her veins whenever he walked in the room.
How she felt safe, content, and comforted when she sat on his lap with his arms
around her.
There was no one else she talked to the way she talked to Edward. He was smart
and compassionate and insightful and...
"Oh, fuck." Bella buried her head in her arms.
She was so, so beyond incredibly screwed.
"See! So we have to figure out what to do from here," Alice said.
Bella got to her knees. "No. No we don't. There's nothing to do."
Alice's expression was exasperated. "You like him. He likes you."
"Even if that's true, and I'm sure it's not, it's just..." Bella waved her hand
helplessly. "He's your uncle."
- 57 -
"He's not your uncle."
"I'm so much younger than him."
"Love is blind, man! If it works it works."
Bella bit her lip. "It's not that simple."
"Why not?"
There were so many reasons, Bella didn't know where to begin. And anyway, she
knew Alice. Her cousin wasn't as flighty as some girls, with their heads lost in the
clouds, but she believed in destiny. Just as she believed she was meant to meet
Jasper, if Alice got it in her head Edward and Bella were meant to be together, there
would be no dissuading her of the idea.
Bella thought of her mother and how much she loved her. Renee was beautiful,
vibrant, and passionate. But Bella had often thought falling in love with her mother
must be like falling in love with a beautiful, rare bird. Renee would be gone when
the seasons changed.
Just because she couldn't help whom she fell in love or lust with didn't mean it
was a good idea.
- 58 -
Surprise Phone Call
"You're thinking about her again."
Edward sighed and turned his head toward his friend. "It's been two months. Even
the tabs have run out of creative headlines. Why won't you let it go?"
Garrett smirked. "You're thinking about her again," he repeated rather than
answer Edward's question.
"It's impossible not to think of something or someone when you're here putting
the thoughts in your head."
Garrett rolled onto his side, hanging over the edge of his poolside lounge chair. It
was a cool November evening, and they were supposed to be enjoying a few drinks
and Edward's spectacular view of Los Angeles. Instead, he seemed to be studying
Edward with an unusual seriousness in his gaze. "You're a very good actor, Edward.
Better than me. I have charisma but you. You're talented. You become your
characters. You cry when they cry. You feel their fury." He pointed at Edward. "You
make people believe you're in love. Every time."
"Do you know something I don't know? I'm too young for a lifetime achievement
award, but that was a speech meant for the Oscar's stage."
"I know, I know. Of the two of us, my hair is going to be the easiest to braid." He
chuckled. "But bear with me here. Where do you get those emotions if you've never
felt them?"
"My god. Like we haven't been asked that question by every asinine reporter. I
haven't ever personally been in a homicidal rage either, but I've played it. I played it
perfectly, if you trust the critics." Edward crossed his arms over his chest and
hunkered down in his chair.
"But you believe it exists."
"Love? Of course. Never said I didn't."
"Then what's the issue here?"
Edward fixed Garrett with a dirty look. "You want to pick one?"
- 59 -
Garrett only grinned wider. "You do love her."
"I..." Edward realized he didn't know what to say. He couldn't make himself say
the words he didn't love her. He could say he shouldn't, he couldn't, but not that he
didn't. He just wasn't sure. The last two months, whenever he thought about Bella
his thoughts got tangled and chaotic. He didn't know how to feel or why this was
happening now.
He was saved by the ringing phone, but as he brought it up, he had to laugh.
Bella's face grinned at him - a photo he took the night he'd taken her to the arcade.
The night that had started all this.
With a sigh, he connected the call and put the phone to his ear. "Hi, duckling."
But she didn't answer. There was a clatter, as though the phone had fallen, and he
heard conversation in the background.
"Hey, baby," a male voice said in the distance. "Where are you off to in such a
hurry?"
"What the hell is your problem?" Edward's blood ran cold when he heard Bella's
voice. She sounded pissed, but she was also scared.
"We were having a good time, and you ran off. What gives?"
"Buddy, I'm not interested. Hey! Get away from me."
Edward's stomach dropped down to his toes. He snapped at Garrett. "Give me
your phone. Now."
"Don't be like that, baby," the man said. Edward had gotten the picture now. Bella
was out somewhere. He could tell she was outside by the background noise. She
must have called and when this guy surprised her, she'd dropped her phone. "Come
here."
"I'm not kidding. Get your hands off me. Not. Interested."
"You think I don't know who you are? I recognized you. What, you only go for the
big stars? Well, where is your movie star now, huh? He dumped your skinny ass
pretty quick, didn't he?"
- 60 -
In the meantime, Edward had dialed Emmett's number. "Answer, answer,
answer," he muttered through gritted teeth.
"Hello?"
"Emmett! Where's Bella? Where is she right now?"
"Edward? What the-"
"Emmett, right now!" Edward ran his hand through his hair, starting to pace. "She
called. She's in trouble. I need to know where she is right now."
"I, uh... She's with her mother for the long weekend."
"Where!"
"They're in Newport Beach."
Close, Edward thought. Newport Beach was only a short drive from where he was.
He could get to her, but not on time. He needed to know exactly where she was so
he could send help.
He was going to be too late. "I need her mother's number. Right now, Emmett.
Now."
He almost dropped his phone, the one with Bella on the other end, when he heard
her scream. "Bella!" He could hear the sounds of struggling.
"You know you like it. Gotta be a freak in bed to attract the likes of a star like
Edward Cullen," the man was saying.
"Son of a bitch! Emmett! The number."
"I'm getting it, I'm getting it! Rose!"
On Bella's phone, Edward heard grunts and muffled yelling. He couldn't make out
what the man was saying, but that was probably a good thing. Then he heard a
groan, and a snarled, "You bitch." He heard what sounded like a slap and then Bella
screamed.
"Help! Someone help!" She sounded breathless, and the sound of strikes
continued.
- 61 -
"Crazy bitch."
"Get. Off."
He heard a groan. A male groan. "Bella!" Edward yelled helplessly.
Then there were more voices, some of which he could make out. "Hey. What the
hell is going on here?"
"Get away from her!"
Edward sunk to his knees, shaking in relief. There were a lot of voices now.
"Damn, girl. You got him good."
"Edward?" Emmett was on the line again. "I have Renee's number."
"Call her. Tell her her daughter was attacked, and she needs to be a mother right
now."
"What!? What the hell is going on, Ed-"
Edward hung up Garrett's phone and started yelling into his. "Hey! Someone pick
up this phone!" Over and over again until someone finally noticed.
"This your phone, hon?" But the voice was drowned out by sirens.
"Bella! Dammit."
"Edward?" Her voice shook.
Edward had never been so relieved to hear someone's voice. If she was talking,
maybe it meant she wasn't badly hurt. He wished with everything in him he could be
at her. "Bella. Are you okay?"
"Everybody move back. Move back. Police department."
"Bella," Edward said. "I'm on my way to you. Tell me where they take you."
"Sweetheart, I need you to talk to me," someone was saying to Bella. "You're okay
- 62 -
now. You're safe."
The phone disconnected.
"Is she okay?" Garrett asked.
"No idea. I'm going to Newport Beach."
- 63 -
I Wanna Hold Your Hand
More and more since Bella had turned eighteen, Renee had talked about her as if
they were girlfriends instead of mother and daughter. It was a warped version of a
story Bella had heard time and again - parents who thought of their kids as children
and expected them to know how to be adults the moment they turned eighteen.
Renee was giddy. She could finally share so many experiences with her now adult
daughter.
Renee had given her a fake ID for her birthday.
They were at a nice club close to the water in Newport Beach. They hadn't been
there for ten minutes before a couple of guys sauntered over.
"Older just your type," Renee had teased. Then her gaze had turned lascivious.
"Younger. Just my type."
After the whole debacle with Edward and those pictures, Bella had the worst kind
of notoriety in her social sphere. People were either curious or scathing. She found
herself with a plethora of classmates she barely knew calling her "friend" and a fair
share of boys much more interested in her than they had been all semester.
At least in California, in this club, no one knew her. She was just another face in
the crowd. As her mother had declared, positive attention wasn't a bad thing. The
men who'd approached them were nice. They didn't get handsy right off, and they
didn't use ridiculous pick-up lines. The conversation wasn't groundbreaking, but it
wasn't torturous either. Renee kept whispering that she should get up. Dance. Flirt.
But Bella was fine where she was.
When Renee wandered off to dance with Demetri, Bella was left in the booth with
Alec. He moved to her side of the booth, and that was fine. He scooted closer. And
closer. And then he tried to kiss her.
That was when Bella decided she'd had enough. At that point, she'd repeatedly
turned down his offer to spike the coke she was drinking. She'd turned down his
request to dance, and when he touched her thigh, she'd scooted away. If he wasn't
going to take a hint, she was done for the night.
Not wanting to bother her mother - Renee looked like she was having a blast with
Demetri - Bella texted to let her know she was headed back to their hotel. It wasn't
- 64 -
far from the club, walking distance. Bella took the long route, heading down to the
darkened beach.
As she'd walked along, enjoying the calm lap of the waves on the sand, it took her
awhile to realize the beach, which had been smattered with couples and groups
earlier that evening, was relatively empty. There were people in the distance, but
not close to her. She'd glanced over her shoulder and seen a figure headed her way.
It looked like Alec. She couldn't be sure, but she'd started walking faster. Her
thoughts spun as she heard too-quick footsteps getting closer. She'd fumbled for her
phone. Though she tried to tell herself she was being paranoid, Bella couldn't help
the panic that raced through her system. In her state, it was rational that she called
the one person who was both dependable and close by. Well, relatively.
In the surreal mess that was Alec attacking her and everything that followed,
Bella had forgotten she'd called him. It all seemed like a nightmare, something that
couldn't possibly be real life. She answered questions for the police. She answered
the nurse's questions. She did as she was told.
Until she heard a very upset voice close by.
"Isabella Swan! I know she's here. My brother told me she was here. I need to see
her. Tell me where she is."
"Who is that?" Renee asked.
Reacting to the sound of his voice, Bella jumped down off the examination table.
"Miss Swan," the doctor protested.
Bella ignored him and her mother. She pushed aside the emergency room curtains
and spotted Edward at the end of the hallway. His name tumbled from her lips
before she could process the tangle of emotions roiling in her. If she'd thought about
it for even a second, she wouldn't have wanted him to see her like this. Though she'd
been trying to put on a brave face, pretend she was calm and collected as she might
have seemed, Bella was scared out of her mind. She hadn't realized how much she
needed a pair of strong arms around her until she was enveloped in his hug.
"Bella, Bella, Bella." He released her as quick as he'd grabbed her. His hands went
to her face. His eyes were frantic as he took in her injuries. "Are you okay?"
"I'm fine."
"You're not okay. Look at your face. Christ."
- 65 -
Bella ducked her head as embarrassment caught up with her. She tried to duck
away, but he held her fast. His fingertips ghosted over the scrapes along her cheek.
He hooked his finger under chin, bringing her face up to look at him. His eyes were
intense but tender. When they met hers, he froze. Bella's breath caught. Her hands,
at his waist, twitched, and she longed to pull him closer, but she didn't dare.
"Bella?"
Bella turned her head, but it wasn't her mother she saw. From over Edward's
shoulder, she saw Garrett Damon's smirking face. She heard Edward swallow hard
and take a deliberate step backward, his hands sliding from her face.
"Miss Swan?"
Bella turned. The doctor and her mother were staring.
Well, it wasn't every day two movie stars showed up in the hospital hallway.
The doctor's eyes flitted from Edward to Garrett and back to Bella. He cleared his
throat. "Miss Swan, we're about done with you. If you'll just come back in, I can get
that cut taken care of."
"I, um..." Renee looked to Edward. "You can sit with her, if you'd like. I could use a
coffee." She turned away before Edward or Bella could protest and flashed Garrett a
smile. "Care to join me?"
Bella rolled her eyes, and Garrett winked at her. "Sure thing," he said, offering
Renee his arm.
The doctor touched his hand to Bella's shoulder, drawing her attention. She
followed him back behind the curtain with Edward at her side. The doctor set about
cleaning the scrapes along her hairline. She hissed when he used the antiseptic, and
Edward took her hand, running his thumb over her knuckles.
"What happened to the man who did this to you?" His voice was steady, but Bella
could hear the fury there.
"He didn't..." Bella closed her eyes and swallowed hard. Edward moved his hand
to her back to comfort her as a wave of residual terror washed over her. "I elbowed
him in the stomach, and I tried to run. He grabbed me again, and I fell. That beach
is covered in shells." For some reason, it was very important that Bella made it clear
she hadn't gotten these injuries by letting herself get beaten on. Alec had hit her
- 66 -
after that more than once, but his slaps were no more than random flails. Her arm
was bruised where he'd grabbed her, but the worst injuries were from her fall.
"Just two stitches, Miss Swan," the doctor said.
Bella sighed and nodded. To Edward she said, "He was taken into custody pretty
quickly. I don't know what the idiot expected he was going to do. There were people
on the beach not that far away... close enough to hear me when I screamed. He was
never going to have enough time to... to..."
Edward got up and sat next to her on the exam table. Bella wished she could lean
into him, but his closeness helped. His presence helped. "I kicked his ass." Her voice
still shook, but she felt like she didn't feel quite so vulnerable.
"That's my girl."
Bella looked down at their entwined fingers. She wanted more than anything to let
go of the confused tangle of thoughts rushing through her head. She was scared,
and he was safety. Her vulnerability was exposed and he brought her strength back.
She wanted things to go back to the way they were before, when she could climb
into his arms without a second thought. Everything was more complicated now.
There was a second layer of meaning in a language she didn't understand.
"You drove down here from L.A.?" she asked. She was beginning to process the
sequence of events.
"Of course I did. Well, Garrett insisted on driving. He was afraid I'd wreck. You
scared the hell out of me, Bella."
"You didn't need to come down though. It's a long way."
"It's not that long." He brought her hand up, pressing a gentle kiss to her
knuckles. They were bruised from punching Alec right in his nose. "I'd have gone
insane if I couldn't see for myself you were in one piece."
She wanted to look at him, but the doctor was stitching.
"I'm really glad you're here," she said after a long moment of silence.
"So am I, duckling." She felt a soft pressure against the side of her hair, as though
he'd kissed her there.
- 67 -
Bella decided she deserved a little comfort. She would think of everything else
another day.
- 68 -
Renee
"Edward, we have a problem."
Edward looked over his shoulder to where Bella and her mother were talking with
the doctor. He turned back to Garrett and sighed. "What now?"
Garrett beckoned him over to the front door and pointed out across the street.
"Oh, fuck me," Edward muttered under his breath. He could see a small crowd of
people... no... paps across the street from the hospital.
"It was an impossibility they wouldn't find out. You know they're on the police
scanners, and Bella's name is known," Garrett said.
"Mmm. And they know my car. Dammit." Edward rubbed the back of his neck. He
shook his head. "The tabs get to play another game of creative storytelling. Well, at
least there'll be entertainment."
Before he could figure out what, if anything, they could do, Bella and her mother
turned away from the doctor. Edward let his irritation slide away as Bella looked up
at him and her lips turned up in a shy smile. She was alright. That was the only
thing that mattered.
He wanted so much to reach out for her and take her hand, just to reassure
himself she was really there in front of him. Instead, he settled on stepping to her
side. "Hey. The paparazzi are outside."
Bella paled. Renee raised an eyebrow.
"I, um..." Edward's eyes darted from Bella to Renee and back. "I'd understand if
you want to go back to your hotel, but I hope you'll consider coming home with me. I
don't know where you're staying, but my house is at least more secure than most
hotels."
"That's a bit of a drive, isn't it?" Renee asked.
"An hour. Less at this time of night. You don't have to-"
"Are you kidding me? Who in their right mind would give up a chance to stay in an
actual movie star's house?" Renee grinned. "Bella, why don't you go with Garrett
- 69 -
here, and I'll drive Edward."
Edward started. "Mom!" Bella protested.
Renee leaned in, dropping her voice. "Don't worry, honey. You have dibs on this
one. I get that."
Bella's eyes went wide and her cheeks turned red. "Mom. God, what is wrong with
you?" Edward coughed into his hand, completely unsure how to take this woman.
Renee raised an eyebrow at her daughter. "Are you telling me you don't want to
stay with him?"
Bella pursed her lips, her eyes darting to Edward and away.
"That's what I thought." Renee sounded smug. "Look, it only makes sense. Garrett
and I had a nice chat over coffee. He says he hasn't seen you since you were three or
so. You should catch up." She turned to grin and Edward. "And again. How often are
you going to get a chance to have a conversation with People's Most Eligible
Bachelor?"
"Mom," Bella groaned. "You are killing me right now, you know that?"
"I know, I know. It's less than an hour, and it's been a hell of a night."
Edward looked to Bella. He wanted to suggest the exact opposite. Let Garrett deal
with Renee. He wanted Bella with him. He didn't want her out of his sight.
But it was just an hour. Less. Edward drove fast.
Bella's expression was apologetic, and Edward spoke before she could ask to go
back to the hotel just to keep him away from her mother. "It's fine with me if it's fine
with you."
"Fine is such a relative word." Bella sighed and threw a hand in the air. "Only if
we can get past the paps without our driving arrangements being seen. I don't want
to deal with them catching you in the car with my mother and me with your best
friend."
Edward winced. "That would be a fiasco." He considered for a moment. "They
won't be able to get to the carport. They already know I'm here. Renee, you're the
only one they don't know, so we'll go get the cars. Come back here and then..."
- 70 -
Garrett took off his hoodie and slipped it around Bella's shoulders. "Hoods up,
heads down, get out of town."
Edward half expected Renee wanted to get him alone to needle him about exactly
what was going on between him and her daughter, but she was unpredictable. He
was also half fearful she was going to come on to him despite her assurance to Bella.
Renee started in right away. "So. You and Bella."
Edward's breath left him in a whoosh. "I don't understand the question." He used
his light, charming tone. The one that usually left interviewers grinning.
Renee clucked. "Don't play a player."
Rolling his shoulders, Edward stared ahead with a fixed expression. "You don't
want me to be honest right now."
"Why is that?"
"Because I'd want to know what the hell you were thinking leaving Bella alone
with a creeper."
"Ah." Renee sighed. "I suppose you think I'm a bad mother."
Edward chanced a glance at her but quickly looked back out to the road and didn't
answer.
"Under the circumstances, I would hope you'd know my daughter better than to
think she needs a babysitter."
"A babysitter, no, but there's a huge difference between babysitting and leaving
an underage girl alone in a bar with an asshole."
"I didn't leave her alone in a bar." Renee sounded exasperated. "Alec wasn't being
an asshole when I left them. I'm never going to win mother of the year. I know that.
That's why I left her with my sister. I wanted to stay with Bella, but I was honest
about it. If I had kept her, she'd have been the one raising me.
"But that being said, I'm not an idiot. I may be a lot of things, Edward Cullen, but
I'm a good girlfriend. The guys came over. They were nice. They offered us drinks
- 71 -
but didn't push Bella when she asked for a Coke. We had a nice conversation, and
then I got up to dance. Bella isn't a child, Edward." Renee laughed. "Really, Bella's
been an adult since she was ten years old. She's perfectly capable of telling me if
she was uncomfortable being alone with Alec. She wasn't uncomfortable, and I had
no idea she would leave on her own."
Edward bristled.
"And besides, of the two of us, I might have taken my daughter into a twenty-one
and over club, but I'm not the one who plied her with alcohol."
He could feel her stare on him. "That was different. She was safe with me."
"I believe you. But you think if she'd been with you and not me, you would have
stopped her from wandering off if she wanted to? Not that it was her fault. Of course
it wasn't. Bella should be able to walk from a club to her hotel without being
attacked. And I would have gone with her if I'd known she wanted to leave. But she
is an adult. She has a right to do what she wants to do. I'm not going to stand in the
way of that, and I'd hope that's not something you would do either."
Edward gnashed his teeth, but he didn't speak.
"I may not be an orthodox mother, but I am still her mother. I care about my baby
girl." She paused, as if debating something before she spoke. "You know, it's a shitty
thing. Alec seemed like a perfectly nice guy. I wasn't at all worried leaving my
daughter alone in a booth with him. I thought I had no reason to be. But even nice
guys get that sense of entitlement sometimes, when they think a woman is
something she's not."
"What are you talking about?"
"Alec attacked her because she rebuffed him. He attacked her because he thought
she was a sure thing... because she'd been with you."
Edward's stomach churned. "She hasn't been with me."
"I know that. I believe Bella. But I also see the way you look at her and the way
she looks at you. I'm damn good at seeing sparks. I know it when I see it, and you're
right here in front of me. You can't tell me it's all a matter of angles and pictures
taken to make it look like something it isn't. You can fool my sister, but you can't
fool me."
- 72 -
"It's not like that with us. She's..." Edward didn't know what to say. Every
definition felt wrong. She wasn't his niece, his little sister, or even his friend.
She was his duckling.
"She's eighteen," he said, his voice quiet.
"Yes and capable of deciding for herself what she wants. She's young, but she's no
child."
Edward growled. This woman was confusing him. He wanted someone to tell him
he was a bastard for even entertaining the thought for a fraction of a second. "You
can't want this for her."
"It's not something I'd choose for her, no. Not the age difference and your life... It
would be inviting a whole world of strangers to assume they know something about
her when they don't." She shook her head. "But it's not up to me. I want her to be
happy, and if you're the one she wants, I trust her to make that call." She laughed.
"It's not as though I have a choice. She's her own person."
"If she's her own person and the choice is hers, why did you want to talk to me?"
"Well, you never do know. Bella has her feet on the ground in a way I never did,
but love is love. Love puts nonsense in your head and makes it sound like the best
idea in the world."
Edward didn't dare let himself acknowledge what the mere idea of the word love
and Bella did to him.
But Renee was still speaking. "It's affected her. This whole thing with you and the
tabs. She's pretending it isn't. Maybe she's trying to convince herself it isn't, but I do
know my daughter. The one I don't know is you. If you were leading her on-"
"I'm not."
"I didn't say you were. I said if. If you were leading her on. If you were toying with
her emotions, I might not be able to tell her what to do, but I could talk to her. If not
as a mother than as a friend." She tilted her head, studying him. "So what's the word
there, golden boy? What are your intentions for my daughter?"
Edward pressed his lips together. Again, he wanted to say nothing was going on
and Renee was as delusional as everyone else, but he couldn't. He couldn't make
- 73 -
himself say the words. "It's a complicated situation."
"Life is a complicated situation. You know, I don't approve of cowards for my
daughter either." Her tone was teasing. "Okay. Enough with the heavy. I can see the
last thing you want to do is hurt her, and that's the most important part, right?
That's the best we can all do - try not to hurt each other. Well when you figure it out,
I'm on your side, kid."
Edward fixed her with a disparaging look for a handful of seconds before he had
to turn back to the road. Kid. By his estimation, he was only six years younger than
she was. And that was weird.
Wasn't it?
"Oh, by the way," Renee said, as they pulled to a stop in the driveway. She flashed
him the biggest grin. "My sister is going to have your balls for Christmas dinner."
- 74 -
Closer
Bella came awake with a gasp. She grasped at the blankets, disoriented as to
where she was and what was going on. Bad dream. Hands on her. And cameras
flashing. All the images were indistinct, making them all the more frightening.
How she hated this feeling of vulnerability. Even though she'd been able to defend
herself against Alec, it had still happened. She'd still been knocked to the ground,
had his hands on her when they weren't welcome.
Too restless and anxious to stay in bed, Bella got up. That was the nice thing
about being in Edward's house. It was large enough that her nocturnal wanderings
wouldn't disturb anyone. She eased out into the hallway, wrapping her arms around
her shoulders as she explored.
He had a library Bella happily could have spent the rest of her life in. It reminded
her of the one from Beauty and the Beast, and Bella's lips turned up when she
imagined teasing him about it. She ran her hands over the spines, noting the wide
variety of books he kept. From what she could tell, it appeared as though he
collected books unique to the areas he visited, nonfiction and fiction alike. Some of
them were in languages he couldn't have have known.
In another room, she found all his instruments. Like he collected more books than
he could possibly read, he also collected more instruments than he could ever play.
Bella ran her fingers lightly over the keys of a gorgeous baby grand. She
remembered a rainy afternoon when she was six or seven and Edward had been
visiting. He'd been so patient as he showed her how to play the simple chorus of
"Heart and Soul" until they could play together on Rosalie's upright.
The room was insulated for better acoustics, but Bella still didn't dare play. She
studied some of the more unusual instruments before she moved on.
Eventually, Bella found herself at the door leading out to his indoor pool. Her
breath caught. It was a gorgeous set up, a room made of glass so one could enjoy
the water no matter the weather and still enjoy the California sunshine. Edward's
backyard overlooked Los Angeles - a beautiful view. The pool itself beckoned to her,
its water a clear and pristine blue, the distorted lights along the side throwing
silver-tinged ripples along the surface. Bella pushed the door open, finding this room
was a more balmy temperature than the rest of the house. She walked to the edge of
the pool and stuck a toe in. Heated, of course.
- 75 -
Bella toyed with the edge of her shirt. Well, it was Edward's shirt. He'd offered it
to her so she would have something more comfortable to sleep in since they hadn't
gone back to the hotel. If she decided to take a swim, and the idea of the warm
water soothing her anxiety away was tempting, she wouldn't want to get his shirt
wet.
There was a rustle and a chair scraped across concrete. Startled, Bella whirled
around too quickly. The movement threw her off balance. Her arms windmilled out
as she tried to stay on her feet, but it was a losing battle. Gravity was pulling her
down toward the pool.
But then there was a tug at waist level, pulling her further into dry land, up
against a firm, warm body. Startled, Bella splayed her hands over a chest, realizing
a few seconds later it was a bare man's chest.
Edward's chest, Edward's arms around her, she thought as she looked up into his
eyes.
"You scared me," they said at the same time.
It took another couple of seconds before the intimacy of their stance sunk in.
Edward pulled her a few more steps away from the lip of the pool before he let her
go. Bella wrapped her arms back around her shoulders, shivering despite the
warmth in the air.
"I didn't mean to startle you," Edward said. "I was out here before, and I didn't
want you to think you were alone. I'm sorry."
Bella remembered she'd been thinking about taking her shirt, his shirt, off, and
she blushed. She was suddenly very aware she was standing there in his shirt with
his boxers slung low on her hips. "It's your house. You don't have to apologize for
being anywhere in your own house." She rubbed her shoulders, feeling self
conscious and underdressed.
Edward took a blanket that was folded over the back of the outdoor couch he'd no
doubt been sitting at when she came in and wrapped it around her shoulders. Bella
was grateful as she pulled the blanket tighter around her. She felt less exposed.
"You couldn't sleep?" he asked.
She sighed. "I had a bad dream."
His lips quirked down. "Do you want to tell me about it?"
- 76 -
Bella shook her head. There was nothing to tell, really. The dream hadn't been
distinct.
Even in the darkness, Bella could see the hesitation flicker across his features as
he sat back on the couch. He blew out a breath, but then he held one arm out.
"Come here."
Despite her intense vulnerability, Bella also felt a thrill she couldn't explain run
down her spine. At the same time, she was almost giddy with relief. Edward had
always been a comfort to her, and she would be lying if she didn't admit that tonight,
she needed the comfort, she craved it.
Bella took his offered hand and let him pull her down onto the seat beside him.
Their eyes met in a second of hesitation. For so many years, a gesture like this
would have been so innocent, second nature for them. It was different now. It felt
different now, and Bella didn't know if that should make her uncomfortable. It
didn't. Though her thoughts were tangled and befuddled, as Edward draped his arm
around her shoulders, her anxiety eased. She rested her head on his chest and
listened to his steady heartbeat.
Given the unnamed tension that surrounded them since those stupid pictures,
Bella supposed she should have felt more vulnerable around him, but she didn't.
Quite the opposite, she felt safe, as she had in the hospital.
"Why are you awake?" she asked around a yawn.
"Couldn't sleep. I don't sleep very well, really. I think my mind is always too full of
questions."
"Questions about what?"
"Life. The universe. Everything."
There was a heaviness to his tone that suggested there was more to his thoughts
than his flippant words suggested. "The answer is forty-two," she said. She felt his
chuckle beneath her cheek.
"Ah, I guess I can sleep well now."
His fingers had begun to stroke the skin behind her ear in an idle motion. It was a
delicious sensation. Bella's eyelids were drooping. She yawned. "I should probably
head to bed," she mumbled, though it was the last thing she wanted to do. She was
- 77 -
warm and content. She feared the anxiety would come back if she were to retreat to
her room now.
"I'm okay if you're okay. You don't have to go back yet."
That was all Bella needed to hear. She slung her arm around his waist, snuggling
closer, forgetting for the moment that the nature of their relationship was changing.
Whatever was happening between them, they didn't need answers that night. Bella
couldn't be expected to process the conversation they needed to have when all she
wanted was to feel safe. She let her eyes close.
She opened them again in the strong light of early morning when she heard the
click of a camera.
- 78 -
Domesticity
The sound of the camera shutter clicking had Edward already on the defensive as
he woke up. He tightened his arm around Bella, pulling her tighter against his side,
as he held his free hand out in a blocking motion. He had a few choice words ready,
but before he could let fly, Bella whined.
"Mom." She sounded like a kid being awaken on a school day. She pulled her
blanket up over her face. Edward looked down at her, bewildered but amused as she
attempted to burrow further into his side.
Renee laughed and tugged on the blanket. Bella turned her face into Edward's
chest, her breath hot and lips moist against his bare skin. It tickled, and Edward
chortled before he could help it.
At the sound of his laughter, Bella raised her head. "Edward?"
Her expression was so adorably perplexed, Edward couldn't even be embarrassed
that her mother was looking at them. His eyes and his smile were only Bella's. "Good
morning, sunshine."
They were interrupted by another click as Renee took another picture.
"Mom." Bella sighed. "Would you cut it out?"
"Get up, lazy bones. I've already been down to the hotel to get our stuff." She
waved her camera. Renee was a photographer - the kind Edward didn't hate. That
was how she paid the bills. "You can shower while Edward makes us some
pancakes."
Edward raised an eyebrow. "I'm going to make pancakes?"
"I read an interview you gave. You said you made amazing banana pancakes."
"I don't have any bananas."
Renee flashed him a grin. "Everything you need is in the kitchen."
He raised an eyebrow. "You already went shopping?"
- 79 -
"It's almost 9:30, bigshot."
Edward's eyebrows arched skyward. He never slept that long. No wonder his body
was protesting. Not only had he slept solidly, but he slept upright. Edward wasn't
usually the type who could sleep in uncomfortable positions. It was a problem as,
when on set, awkward positions was often the only way people snuck in a catnap
during filming.
"I didn't mean to fall asleep on you," Bella said.
"It's not a big deal, Bella." He brushed her hair back over her ear and smiled. "Go
on. I'll get breakfast ready."
"You don't-"
"I want to."
Bella frowned, but Renee grinned. She took her daughter's arm and started to tug
her inside the house. Edward shook his head and ruffled his hair as he soaked in the
sunshine of the morning. Without Bella pressed against him, it was cool.
A heaviness settled over his heart as he remembered her warm weight in his arms
the night before. Truly, all he'd wanted was to comfort her. He could see she was
struggling. Bella typically exuded, if not a confident air, at least an unconcerned
one. Last night, she'd been drawn inward on herself, her shoulders hunched, her
eyes nervous. It had broken his heart. She seemed to be keeping it together in the
hospital but the quiet of the night was unnerving.
But she had relaxed in his arms. He was grateful for that, glad that despite the
awkward tinge to their interactions, the people whispering ideas in their ears, she
still trusted him.
And he had liked it - holding her close as she slept. He'd watched her for a long
time before sleep took him. He'd liked it a lot more than he should have. It brought a
peace to him he'd never known, and that was frightening for so many reasons.
Edward tried not to think about it as he made breakfast.
Bella came downstairs looking a lot better than she had the night before. The
scrape along her cheek was garish, the bruising stood out against her pale skin, but
she was smiling. Her bare feet padded along his kitchen tiles and her eyes lit up
when she saw the feast he was preparing.
- 80 -
"You really didn't have to do this," she said as she stepped up beside him. A thrill
went down his spine as she balanced herself with her hand against his back as she
leaned past him to snatch a piece of bacon.
"Duckling, it's not nice to steal food."
She waggled her eyebrows as she bit into the crisp piece. "It's bacon. Bacon gets a
free pass from the rules of politeness." She hopped up on a stool at the counter.
Edward glanced at her out of the corner of his eye as he flipped pancakes. He
couldn't help but smile.
He couldn't help the flash he had... Bella with her hair wet, fresh from a shower,
coming downstairs barefoot to have breakfast with him. He couldn't help the rush he
felt that maybe, just maybe, it wasn't a bad vision of the future.
Maybe it made him a little too happy to think about.
Clearing his throat, he turned his attention back to the pancakes. He might have
been showing off, just a little, when he flipped them high into the air for Bella's
amusement.
Renee came downstairs again and they settled down to eat. "Hey, you weren't
lying," Renee said after she took her first bite of pancake. "This is amazing."
"It's really good," Bella agreed.
Warmth flooded Edward's chest. As an actor, he was used to compliments. They
were hurled at him constantly by interviewers and fans. Somehow, watching Bella
enjoy something he'd made and her simple, sincere compliment made him feel
prouder than every award he'd ever gotten.
Edward was quiet as he tried to make sense of the odd emotions roiling in him.
"So since we're out here in L.A., maybe we should hit up some sights. Play tourist.
What do you think, Bella?" Renee asked.
Edward thought he saw Bella blanch. Her hand tightened around her fork and she
set the bite she'd been about to eat down. "I, um..." She hunched inward again, like
she had last night. "Do you think it would be okay if we took it easy today?"
"Of course, sweetheart." Renee rubbed Bella's back, looking contrite.
- 81 -
Bella ducked her head and looked up at Edward. "I mean... I don't mean to
impose."
"You're welcome to stay through Thanksgiving, if you want." He offered her a
small smile. "You're always welcome here. It's no inconvenience."
Bella perked up at that, and Edward felt guilty. Here he was thinking of domestic
scenes, and she was still running scared from what she'd been through. He had no
business thinking of these things in the first place. It was not a good idea. It made
no sense, and it should have been the furthest thing from his mind a day like today.
About half an hour later when breakfast had been eaten and the dishes cleared
away, Bella excused herself, leaving Renee alone for a few minutes with Edward.
"What's your e-mail address?" Renee asked.
Edward raised an eyebrow.
Renee only looked back at him, her expression the picture of innocence. "I
promise, you won't regret giving it to me."
Edward sighed and told her what it was.
He shouldn't have been surprised when, later that day, when he pulled up his
e-mail, he found a message from her with several attachments. They were the
pictures she'd snapped that morning - Edward and Bella curled together, her head
on his shoulder, her arm around his waist and his across her shoulders. His head
rested on hers. They both looked content as they slept. Natural.
And Edward's heart thudded against his chest because he had a name for the
feeling that overwhelmed him then. Longing. He ached with it.
He wanted this. More than a fleeting, accidental moment, he wanted this. He
wanted her. He was sick with it. It wasn't something he could deny, push away, or
fight. Not anymore.
Edward groaned, slumping over at his desk and hanging his head.
He was so fucked.
- 82 -
Switch
The next few days were peaceful. To Bella's relief, Renee didn't mind being
cooped up. It helped that Edward's house had its fair share of entertainment built in.
And Bella suspected the visitors Edward received on Tuesday evening did a lot to
offset the lack of adventure.
"Robert Downey Jr., Bella. I kissed Robert Downey Jr.."
Bella would not have been surprised if her mother squealed like a schoolgirl. She
shook her head. "You kissed his cheek."
Renee sighed. "My bucket list is complete. I can die now."
"I'd prefer you didn't."
Edward was a gracious host. Except for his meeting with Mr. Downey, he was
attentive to his guests. They all swam, and Bella wondered if she imagined the way
Edward's eyes lingered on her form. They watched a movie, and Bella propped her
feet on his lap. Halfway through the movie, she felt the pads of his fingers running
along her ankle, but when she looked, his eyes were on the screen. He probably
didn't realize he was doing it.
On Wednesday, Bella put in her favorite of his movies, and before long, she was
quoting along with him.
"How many times have you seen this movie?" Edward asked, his tone suspicious.
"Um. A few?" She wondered if she should feel shy about that fact. It was natural,
wasn't it? She knew Edward, and it was a good movie.
"You know it word for word, don't you?" He sounded so amused. "Why this one?
It's so horribly cheesy. You are the same little ducky who rolls her eyes at the
ridiculousness of people in love, aren't you? That's what this movie is. Ridiculous
people in love making ridiculous people swoon and sigh."
Bella lifted her head and glared at him. She stood, and started quoting along with
the movie.
"Ugh. I'm ashamed at myself for ever having uttered this trite nonsense," he
- 83 -
grumbled.
"It's not trite. It's lovely." She swept her arms out, saying his lines and overacting
his part.
"Duckling. Stop."
Bella didn't stop.
"This is terrible, duckling. I'm going to break the Blu-Ray. I'm going to make them
pull it off every shelf."
Bella still didn't stop.
"I'll break into every home until they're all destroyed."
Bella didn't stop.
She heard Edward's growl, and she squeaked as he slung his arm around her
waist, pulling her back down on the couch. She tried to continue her performance,
but he clamped his hand over her mouth. Bella giggled as he leaned over her with
mock menace. Oh, so menacing he was with his lips turned up in a gorgeous grin.
Bella's breath caught. Her giggles died.
His smile fell as his hand dropped down between them. His other arm was around
her, his hand braced against her back, supporting her. She was tilted backward,
staring up at him, one hand braced on the back of the couch, the other on his
shoulder.
In the days after the attack, Bella had pushed Alice's revelation about her
probable attraction to Edward out of her head. She didn't want to think about it. She
wanted the safety and comfort he offered. As the days passed, her fear began to ebb,
and now...
Now the shift in their relationship was undeniable. In a heartbeat, the interaction
changed from innocent to something... more. Heavier. Heated. Bella's heart began
to thud hard and fast against her ribcage. Edward's breath was staggered and fell
hot against the skin of her cheek. His eyes darted down to her lips. His head tilted,
and Bella stopped breathing altogether.
But then his eyes drifted back up, fixating on a point at her brow. The stitched
- 84 -
shut cut, no doubt.
"Oh, God," he said under his breath. He raised his free hand to brush her cheek.
"Bella, I-"
"Bella?"
They untangled themselves, and when Renee found them, they were sitting on
opposite ends of the couch.
"How was your workout, Mom?" Bella asked, though she didn't look up at her
mother. Her cheeks were flaming.
"It was fine." Sure enough, there was something about Renee's tone that was
curious, assessing. Bella could almost feel her eyes on her.
Renee cleared her throat. "Edward?"
Bella's head shot up. She narrowed her eyes at her mother, fearfully certain she
was about to do or say something embarrassing.
"Renee." Edward's voice was steady.
"My sister and your brother will be here tonight, won't they?"
Bella's stomach twisted for reasons she hadn't put together yet.
"Yes," Edward answered. "And everyone else."
Renee hummed. "Well. Won't that be interesting. I guess I was wrong about
Christmas dinner."
- 85 -
Thanksgiving Pt. 1
The worst thing about an almost kiss, worse, if possible, than not getting the kiss,
was the obsessive thought process that wouldn't be shaken. Was she imagining all of
it? The heat, the tension, the tilt of his head. It had all happened in the space of a
few heartbeats. Wasn't it possible she misinterpreted what he'd been about to do?
Even if the thought crossed his mind, he'd stopped. He'd whispered her name.
What would he have said? What would his lips feel like with hers? How would he
kiss her? What it might have felt like to have his body pressed against hers, his
weight pinning her to the couch? If he'd kissed her, would she have let him? Should
she let him? Should she want this?
What would have happened if they'd kissed? What was going to happen now?
Bella jumped when someone snapped near her ear. She turned to glare at her
cousin. "Alice."
Alice stuck her tongue out. "Well, Jesus. You're a million miles away. Have you
heard a word I've said?"
"Blah, blah, blah Jasper, blah, blah, oh my God, he's so hot."
Sitting cross-legged on the opposite end of the bed as Bella, Alice picked up a
pillow and smacked her about the head. "I was asking about you and me going in on
a potential gift for Mom and Dad for Christmas."
"Well, there was an eighty-nine percent chance you were talking about Jasper."
Alice opened her mouth as if she was about to argue, but then she shrugged. "I'll
give you that one." She cocked her head. "Seriously, Bella. What's up? Are you okay?
You haven't been thinking about that creeper, have you, because-"
"No!" Bella shuddered and wrapped her arms around herself. "I told you a couple
of days ago, I'm really doing okay with that. I don't want to think about it right now."
"Okay. Then what's up? And don't say nothing. It's something, and you know me
well enough by now that you can't possibly think I'm going to drop it."
"Nothing ha-" The look on Alice's face stopped her cold. There was no way around
- 86 -
this. She was going to have to tell her cousin something. Maybe she could lie.
But they both knew Bella couldn't lie to save her life. She groaned and slumped
over, hiding her head under a pillow. She felt the bed shift as Alice moved to lay
beside her. "Is it something bad?"
"No. Yes." Bella lowered the pillow. "I don't know. Maybe. And maybe it's nothing.
It's probably nothing."
"Christ, Bella. You've got me all wrapped up in suspense. Out with it."
Bella pressed her lips together before she sagged. "Alice, you have to swear on
your life you're not going to tell anyone. I mean no one else."
Alice's eyes went wide. "Wow. Yeah, of course. You know you can trust me."
"I... I think Edward almost kissed me."
Alice squeaked. "Really?! What do you mean 'almost'?"
Bella sighed and related the whole story. "I'm overreacting, right?" she asked
when Alice said nothing. "I mean, it's Edward. If he wanted to kiss me, he wouldn't
hesitate like that. He would have just done it." She shook her head, feeling stupid. "I
misread it. This is stupid. Nevermind."
"No. It's not stupid. I wasn't there, but I don't think you could have misread all of
that. I told you before. No one gets as defensive as my uncle has been about you
without a reason." She pursed her lips, the look on her face serious as she mulled. "I
don't know, Bella. I think it makes sense that he hesitated."
"It does?" In spite of herself, how dumb she felt, Bella's stomach twisted.
"Well, yeah. I think you have to make the first move."
"What? Why?"
"Think about it. You know I don't think it matters that he's so much older than
you. You're an adult, and you're old enough to make your own decisions. You can't
help who you fall in love with. That stuff just happens. But you know Edward is who
he is. Mom and Dad are going to be pissed. The tabs are already accusing him of
seducing you. It's going to be... not simple."
- 87 -
Bella rolled onto her back and stared at the ceiling. Alice draped an arm around
her. "I think it would be worth it. I think it could be amazing. If you don't, then just
let it go. He'll move on. But if you do, make it happen, girl. You are all grown up.
There's no reason to be ashamed of what you want."
It was Thanksgiving Day and a full house was expected. Rosalie, Emmett, and
Alice had arrived the day before, of course. Carlisle and Esme came in on the red
eye. Everyone was asleep, and Edward had gone out to get them on his own.
Bella didn't sleep. All Wednesday, Edward had avoided her. When they all
gathered for dinner, he sat as far as he could away from her and immersed himself
in conversation with Emmett. He said he had an important call to makeShe ached
for their old camaraderie and wondered if she'd lost it forever.
Could they go back to how they'd been before? Or maybe not quite, because she
didn't think she could stand to be held by him, to be cuddled and spoiled, and not
have him. He consumed her every thought, and it hurt. It hurt to want something so
badly. And it was confusing as hell. She'd always admired Edward. She'd always
loved him in that simpler, easier way.
This was different, and she felt foolish. Foolish and ridiculous.
Like a girl in love. Like Alice and Rosalie and everyone else.
And like a girl in love, Bella's thoughts were muddled. She was on the verge of
making irrational decisions.
It was insane. It was insane to think she should kiss Edward. It was insane to think
like this for so many reasons.
Bella was perched at the top of the stairs when they got home. Their voices drifted
up.
"There's more paps than usual out there, Edward," Carlisle said.
"They know Bella is in here. The incident in Newport Beach last Friday is public
knowledge. They're just looking for a photo for whatever bunk they decide to print
after the holiday."
"How's she doing with the media coverage?"
- 88 -
"Better than she should have to be." Bella heard him sigh. "I don't know what
they're going to say about Friday. I hate it. She's been through enough."
Bella shifted, pulling her knees up close to her chest. Her heart beat fast, and she
smiled. After he'd been so distant, it was good to hear he cared. She'd known, of
course. On a base level, she understood his avoidance was not born of indifference
or annoyance. That worry plagued her as it had before, but she wasn't an idiot.
He was the one who'd grabbed her.
He was the one who'd held her close.
He was the one who'd tilted his head toward her.
These things were unmistakable.
She wasn't imagining it.
Bella stood and made her way downstairs. Esme saw her first, and she smiled.
"Bella." Esme hugged her and then held her at arm's length. Her lips quirked
downward as she brushed Bella's hair away from her eyes. Bella ducked her head as
the woman's tender fingers brushed the healing scrapes along her cheek. "Oh,
sweetheart."
"I'm fine." She looked up as Carlisle came forward, examining her wound with a
doctor's eye. "Really. I'm fine."
"The other guy looks worse. She kicked his ass."
Bella looked over at Edward. He wasn't looking at her, but his lips were turned up
in a smile.
It was getting toward afternoon, and Edward continued to ignore her.
Bella was getting irritated.
He was in the kitchen with his mother and Rose. Emmett teased him without
mercy, but apparently, Edward enjoyed cooking. When Bella tried to help, he pulled
rank. It was his house, he said, and he designated the cook. Her services weren't
needed. "Go find Alice. Keep her entertained," he'd said.
- 89 -
Go play at the kiddy table, she heard.
So the second time she tried to help, Bella didn't ask. She marched into the
kitchen, to the refrigerator and started pulling out ingredients.
"What are you doing, Bella?" Rosalie asked.
"Helping. I can do the green bean casserole. You haven't started that, right?"
"Bella-" Edward began, but Esme cut him off.
"If she wants to help, let her. It's our first Thanksgiving together."
Bella glanced over her shoulder. Edward continued chopping methodically. He
cleared his throat. "If that's what you want, duckling. You can help."
Bella gathered the ingredients she needed and went to go stand by him. The
rhythm of his knife faltered before it smoothed out again. As they worked side by
side, Bella swore she could feel the heat of his skin. They were so close; it would be
nothing to touch him.
Edward put his knife down. "We're missing a few things."
"What things?" Rosalie asked. "We're not missing anything. I got everything last
night."
Bella narrowed her eyes, watching Edward's movements as he went to the sink
and washed his hands. "Maybe it's a surprise, Rose, did you think of that?" He
toweled off. "Anyway. I'll be right back."
He took off. Rosalie and Esme went back to what they were doing.
"I'm going to ask him for Mountain Dew. I feel like Mountain Dew." Bella took off
after him without a backward glance.
He was in the garage when she caught up. "Hold on a second." She made sure the
door closed behind her.
Edward paused with his hand on the handle of his car. He didn't turn around.
"What do you need?"
Bella's throat was tight, her mouth was dry. There were so many butterflies in her
- 90 -
stomach, the wind from their fluttering wings made a hurricane inside her. She
swallowed hard. "You're avoiding me."
His shoulders rose and fell. "I'm-"
"Don't lie to me."
He turned around but he was looking to the ground. "I'm sorry."
Sorry for what, she wondered. Sorry because he felt he had to avoid her? Sorry
she started to look at him that way? She shuffled forward one step, then another.
"What are you running from?"
He looked up from under his lashes, his eyes dark and warring. "Duckling," he
whispered.
"Why are you running from me?" She stepped right into his personal space. The
reaction was instant. Her body hummed. Her skin tingled. And if she had any doubt
he was affected, it was erased in a heartbeat. His eyes froze on hers, wild and
wanting. His body moved, brushing up against hers before he pressed himself back
against the car.
"Bella," he said, and she felt his voice on her skin. He raised his hand, but he
didn't touch her. "Bella, Bella, Bella." He ducked his head, but he didn't kiss her. He
was so close his breath was hot on her lips.
Bella couldn't hold back any longer. She needed to know. She couldn't live
another second without knowing what it would be like to kiss him.
She closed her eyes and pushed up on her toes. Her lips touched his, a feather
touch. His breath shuddered.
And with a groan, he wrapped his arms around her waist. He crushed her close.
His mouth was open on hers. Then his lips lined with hers. He kissed her once.
Twice. Sweet kisses. Tender and tentative despite the desperation she felt in the
tension of his body, the way his fingers tangled in her shirt.
Bella whimpered. Her mind was blank. She was nothing but emotion. The thrill
rushing down her spine as he touched her, his lips moving on hers was the greatest
pleasure she'd known in her whole life.
And this emotion. She had no name for it. She had no name for how it wrapped
- 91 -
around her, how it got in her blood and dictated the movements of her arms, her
mouth. She wound her arms around his neck, pulling him closer, matching his sweet
kisses with her own.
It wasn't enough. Instantly, she knew it wasn't. He must have been on the same
page. There was a whoosh of air, and Bella yelped as he pressed her back against
the car. His kisses were harder then, matching the way his hands moved over her
body. Bella shivered as his fingers traveled along her side, down to her leg. His long
fingers found her thigh, and he tugged. It was the most natural thing in the world to
wrap her leg up around him. He pulled her leg up around his waist, pinning her
between his body and the car.
It was incredible.
It was incendiary.
He moaned and broke their kiss with a gasp. "Bella." He closed his eyes and
slumped against her, his forehead to hers. "Duckling, we can't. I can't." He was
breathless.
Bella blinked trying to remember how to speak and what words meant. "Why?"
"There are-And... " He swallowed and brushed his nose against hers. "We have to
think."
She kissed him again. A soft kiss. "I don't want to."
"Bella-"
"No. We think all the time. You and me, we're always thinking. Everyone else gets
to be silly, but not us. Never us." She brushed her lips over his. "I don't want to
think. Just right now, I don't want to think. I just want this. I just want you."
He caught her face in his hands. "Oh, Bella." He kissed her, a lingering kiss.
"Bella." He brushed her cheek with his lips. Her other cheek. The tip of her nose, all
the while saying her name over and over.
He cupped his hand under her chin and tilted her face up. "You want to be
ridiculous?"
Bella wrapped her hand around his wrist, brushing her fingers over his knuckles.
"We get a few minutes, don't we?"
- 92 -
His smile was beatific. "A few silly minutes." He sighed, and brought his lips to
hers again.
- 93 -
Thanksgiving Pt. 2
Bella had the worst possible timing.
Edward was smitten. In all his agonizing over the situation he found himself in -
he'd been so close to kissing her, to crossing a line he thought he couldn't allow
himself to cross - he had never thought to add Bella's actions into the equation. The
burden of responsibility was his. She could make her own decisions, but she was still
young and inexperienced. But then she'd taken the situation into her own hands.
It was an unbelievable turn on. Edward wasn't a stranger to women who knew
what they wanted, but this was different. Everything was different. He loved Bella's
gumption and strength but...
Yeah. Worst timing possible.
"So is 'I'm going to the market' a new slang term I don't know?" Emmett asked.
Edward blinked at his brother, thoroughly confused. "What?"
"You look like you just got laid." His brother was nothing if not blunt. "And you
haven't stopped smiling since you got back. You realize that's a creepy look for you,
right? It's unnatural."
Edward felt his cheeks heat, and he rubbed the back of his neck self consciously.
Emmett gawked at him. "You did get laid, didn't you? Snuck off for a quickie on
Thanksgiving Day?"
"Shut up, Emmett." Edward gave his brother a shove that wasn't as playful as he
wanted it to be. "How's the game going?"
"Renee upped the ante on the bets. You should get in on this. She and Dad are
more competitive than I am, and that's saying something."
But Edward was already distracted. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Bella
come down the stairs with Alice, and the rest of the world faded away. He smiled.
She ducked her head and smiled back. It took all of Edward's self control to turn
back to his brother.
How was he supposed to concentrate when she was so close, when he knew he
- 94 -
could kiss her again if only they were alone? Why did it have to be Thanksgiving Day
- a day of too much food and all his family gathered around.
It only got worse.
He was so scattered during dinner, he could barely hold a conversation. His father
kept throwing him concerned looks. Renee looked bemused.
"Are you seeing someone new, Edward?" Esme asked at one point.
Bella choked on her drink, and Alice helpfully pounded her back.
"You've got a glow about you," his mother continued. "You just seem... happier
than usual."
Edward felt a twist of nerves as his eyes darted surreptitiously around the table.
His innate terror and guilt over whatever was going on between him and Bella
returned. Could they tell? Was it obvious?
They were all going to kill him.
But then his eyes found Bella's for the briefest of seconds and he remembered
what it was like to hold her in his arms, for his lips to move with hers. He
remembered what her voice sounded like when she was kissed breathless and how
nothing else in the world mattered for those few minutes they'd had.
He was happy. More than that, for the rest of the afternoon after the garage he'd
crossed the threshold of happiness all the way to giddy. He let his lips crawl up his
face, smiling as widely as he wanted. He leaned over and pressed a big smooch to
his mother's cheek. "It's all you, Mom. I'm happy you're here. I'm still a Momma's
boy at heart."
Esme snorted. "You're your father's son, you know. Too charming when you want
to be."
And so it went. The day stretched on in curious lurches. His skin, his bones, his
blood felt full of a mindless emotion. It was all desperate need. His body ached for
Bella's and having her so close when he couldn't touch her was maddening. He
could barely string two words together. How he kept his eyes from drinking her in,
he didn't know. At times, it seemed to take inhuman strength.
And yet, despite the urgency he felt to have her in his arms again, he was riding a
- 95 -
high he'd never known. Those simple, sweet, fervent kisses were better than the
best sex he'd ever had. Edward enjoyed sex, but when the shared moment was past,
he rarely looked back. Yet he could not stop replaying the determination on Bella's
face as she stepped toward him, as she pinned him with her eyes. His fingertips
remembered the shape of her body. His lips remembered the softness of hers. His
tongue remembered her taste - sugary from the pastries Esme had brought for
everyone to snack on.
If he couldn't kiss her again, soon, today, he would go insane, he was convinced.
It was a surreal space to exist in. He couldn't overthink anything simply because
he couldn't think. His brain pulled him in too many directions at once when he tried.
He found his moment when the mess had mostly been cleared away. Carlisle,
Emmett, and Alice had meandered back to the living room because there was a
movie on they were interested in. Esme and Renee sat at the table over coffee and
one final piece of pie. Rosalie had excused herself to go upstairs for a moment, but
he knew she would be back sooner rather than later.
Bella was putting the last of the leftover turkey away when Edward grabbed her
by the hand. He pulled her with him into the nearby laundry room and had her
pressed up against the door in the next second, his mouth to hers.
For minutes, they spent their pent up need. Bella's hands in his hair felt amazing.
She rubbed her thumb just behind his ear, and Edward thought he would die of the
pleasure it sent through his body. He whimpered into her mouth and tightened his
hands around her waist.
Gradually, their kisses became less urgent. He lapped at her tongue with his, the
movement more sensual than devouring. When he had to breathe, he tilted her head
back with the tip of his nose and planted open mouthed kisses against her neck. She
sighed, the sound so content he wanted to wrap it around him like a blanket. Her
fingers rubbed the hairs at the nape of his neck.
"Bella," he said when he remembered how to speak.
She hummed, but the sound was lazy, as though she was drowsing.
"Will you come to my room tonight?"
Her breath caught, her body went rigid beneath his, and Edward realized how it
must have sounded. He lifted his head, cupping her face between his hands. "I
- 96 -
didn't..." He closed his eyes and had to laugh because for perhaps the first time in
his life when he invited a girl to his room, sex was the furthest thought from his
mind. "I didn't mean it like that."
He began to kiss her again, but not her lips. No. He pressed kiss after tender kiss
across her face, showering her in his adoration. Only when her body relaxed again,
sagging against him and the door, did he kiss a trail down to her ear. "I want to take
care of you." He brushed his fingers through her hair with one hand, resting his
knuckles against her cheek with the other. "Bella, you are so precious to me. The
last thing I want is to be careless with you."
"I'm not fragile," she murmured. She brought her hand up and twined their
fingers together against her cheek.
"No. You're very strong. You're amazing." He kissed her forehead, lingering there.
"I just mean that as much as I love being silly, we need to talk." Among other things.
He wanted to hold her. And kiss her without the worry that someone was going to
walk in on them. He tilted his head to capture her mouth again, hoping she
understood what he wasn't saying.
"Come to my room tonight when everyone goes to sleep. I promise you're safe
with me."
Bella looked up at him. She ran her fingers down his cheek, across his lips, and
smiled. "I know I am."
The rest of the night was equal amounts torturous and wonderful. Again he was
relegated to sitting across the room from her, but for much different reasons than
he had the night before. Wednesday night he'd been trying reconcile the fact he
could not see her the way he was beginning to. And there was some distant part of
him that still held the same worry.
He didn't want to lose his duckling, the little girl Bella had been, the little girl he
adored. And wasn't that always a risk when two people who had been friends, whose
relationship had been simple but meaningful, began to look at each other with those
eyes?
But that thought, that worry, was small in comparison to the bigger, brighter
thoughts and emotions that reigned now. There were other things to consider,
things he had never thought about before.
- 97 -
Suddenly, he saw the world with new eyes. He saw the way his father kissed his
mother's cheek and tickled her neck with his nose, the way they bent their heads
together, the way they were so in tune with each other, their bodies seemed to move
in tandem. He saw Rosalie and Emmett's playful banter and the way they always
seemed to be touching, like their fingers couldn't get enough of each other. He even
noticed the way Alice's face lit up and she laughed when she was on the phone with
her boyfriend back home.
Could he have any of that?
Two days ago he would have rolled his eyes and called them all ridiculous, but
now he wanted in on this club. He wanted it so badly he could taste it.
He wanted it with Bella specifically.
So when the house finally quieted and he heard a soft rap on his bedroom door,
Edward was ready to talk.
Well. After he'd kissed them both senseless and dizzy, he was ready to talk.
They were in his bed by then, on top of the covers. Her body was curled up
against his, their legs entwined in an intimate and yet innocent way. His hand was
cupped against the side of her neck, his thumb stroking her cheek as he tried to find
the right words.
Bella dragged her hand from where it rested on his waist, up the side of his body,
and pressed her hand over his chest. "Your heart is pounding."
Edward couldn't say anything. He looked back at her wondering if there was any
way she could understand. He'd been with his fair share of women. He wasn't a
womanizer by any stretch of the imagination, but when he wanted the pleasure of
female company, he didn't have to work hard for it.
And yet here and now, with this eighteen-year-old girl... woman in his arms, he
was so out of his depth.
She took his hand and moved it between them to press against her chest. Edward
was startled at first until he realized she hadn't meant the move to be sexual. He
could feel her heart beneath his palm. It was racing, just like his.
Edward sighed and kissed the tip of her nose. He still didn't know where to start.
It was an unusual space he found himself in. One that not even thirty-six years of life
- 98 -
or any of his movie roles could have prepared him for. He would have thought
relationships had a natural order. There was a period of time before one could say,
"I love you." There were degrees of seriousness.
How was it possible to go from one extreme to another? He'd always loved and
adored Bella, but she was a bright spot he'd rarely thought about when he went
about the rest of his life. Now, though, she was in every thought he had, and the
idea she had to return to Seattle and school on Sunday was physically painful.
He squeezed her hand and brought her knuckles to his lips. "I need to know what
you want. From me. From us. From this."
Her cheeks flamed and she dropped her gaze. Edward pressed his fingers under
her chin, tilting her head back up. "Please be honest with me, and I promise I'll be
honest with you. It's just me, duckling." He was pleased when her lips turned up
ever so slightly. "Please tell me."
Her breath was labored, her body trembled against his, but when her eyes found
him, there was certainty there. "I want everything," she whispered.
Edward wasn't prepared for the emotion that hit him then. It was as though the
intensity of what he'd felt for her the last few days in particular had him all twisted
up, but this... This floored him. And sent him soaring. It blew every thought from his
mind because right then, in spite of all the complications ahead of them, in spite of
all the things they needed to say and think about, he knew he'd been given the
greatest gift of his life.
He claimed her lips, wrapped his arms around her, and decided they could be silly
for just a little while longer.
- 99 -
I Love Black Friday
Bella sighed.
Something was happening to her neck. It felt wonderful. She giggled when
something feather light brushed her hair back, tickling her skin as it did so. There
was a moist, hot pressure along her neck, tracing up to her ear. She wiggled,
snuggling back against the source of warmth instinctively. She felt cozy and
protected.
"Bella," someone whispered in her ear. "Wake up."
She tried to orient herself in place and time. She was sure she'd fallen asleep in
her designated guest room in Edward's house after…
Bella's eyes flew open. She blinked in the limited light of the room, and cohesive
thought returned piece by piece. Though she knew she'd stumbled out of Edward's
room on a cloud the night before, she knew she'd fallen asleep alone. But Edward
was there now. He was laying with his chest pressed against her back, though she
was beneath the covers and he above. His arm was wrapped around her, his palm
resting on her hip. It was his voice in her ear and his lips against her neck.
A shiver of delight went down her spine, and Bella couldn't help the way her grin
climbed upward. She sighed with contentment.
Edward pressed a kiss to her ear. "Are you awake?"
"No," she mumbled, burrowing deeper against her pillow and him. "Need more
convincing."
His chuckle was deep and pleasant and did things to her body. He traced her
hairline with the tip of his finger, kissing the shell of her ear, her cheek, her neck.
Bella found she was not only awake but rather breathless with the way her heart
fluttered in her chest. "What if Alice comes in here?"
"Alice, Rosalie, and my mother got up at an ungodly hour to shop the Black Friday
sales." His hand moved from her hip to curl around her stomach over the blankets.
"They dragged Emmett with them. My father and your mother are dead-to-the world
asleep. But I…" He brought his hand up to cup her cheek, urging her to turn to him.
- 100 -
"I have better things to do with my time."
Bella rolled onto her back, tiling her head up both because she loved the way his
nose nuzzled her throat and because she was hyper-aware of her morning breath.
This was a unique experience for her. She'd never woken up with a boy, a man, in
her bed. "What things?" she asked.
He hummed, and the vibration felt delicious against her skin. "There is a beautiful
girl I'm addicted to kissing. I can't seem to stop." He rained kisses on her chin and
cheeks. "Which is unfortunate seeing as she has to go home in a couple of days."
His breath smelled minty. The cheater. He'd brushed his teeth before he got
there. She turned her head to the side. "Winter break is coming."
He laughed. "Sounds like Game of Thrones: The College Years."
Bella wanted to laugh with him, but she was scared to open her mouth. When he
leaned over her, intent on kissing her, Bella rolled away. "I need a minute."
He looked confused, but he didn't press. Instead, he rolled onto his back, propping
his hands behind his head with an impish grin. "Just one."
Bella flushed and scampered off to the adjoining bathroom. She splashed her face
with water first thing to cool the heat on her skin. A glance in the mirror made her
want to roll her eyes. She was grinning like an idiot. Her skin was a hectic pink, her
eyes too bright, and her hair…
Fuck. Her hair was a haystack. How attractive.
Bella shook her head as she began to brush her teeth. She was being ridiculous,
and she knew it. Edward had seen her in her night things with her hair all askew
before. A couple years before, when he was over for a visit, she'd thought nothing of
coming down to breakfast in ratty pajamas. She hadn't brushed her hair then.
But this was a whole new world. Everything was different. She gave in and
smoothed out her hair before she returned to the bedroom.
Edward was sitting up now with his back against the headboard. He opened his
arms for her, and Bella shuffled forward. She hesitated only a second at the edge of
the bed before she crawled to him and straddled his legs, winding her arms around
his neck as she settled onto his lap.
- 101 -
Was this okay, she wondered? Yes, everything was different between them. Even
actions that would have been so innocent meant something different, but did this
mean something she didn't want it to mean? She wished she wasn't so
inexperienced, that she was more confident about what she was doing. When she
was with Felix, when they were kissing and she got uncomfortable, he would get
annoyed. He would call her a tease, and she felt bad because she hadn't meant to
get him riled up when she had no intention of going further.
But Edward's hands were gentle. He gripped her waist, still smiling as she tilted
her head down to kiss him. The way he kissed her, it didn't feel as though he
expected more. Quite the opposite. The way he kissed her, it seemed like he would
be content forever with just this, not like it was preamble to what he really wanted.
Bella sighed and relaxed against him. His tongue swept across her lip and she
opened her mouth to him. Her eyes were closed, but she let her fingers drift from
his neck to his cheeks. She explored the lines of his face with her fingertips, a thrill
going down her spine because she still couldn't quite believe it. That she got to
touch him like this, know him like this.
That she would know all of him.
And it wasn't just that he was Edward Cullen - internationally known super star.
She was aware of his celebrity and all that came with it, the seemingly super-human
beauty, his talent, his charisma, his fame. But she also knew him for more than that.
He was kind, smart, and loved his family to no end. He was arrogant in ways, but he
was also humble. He knew how to brood, but he was also passionate about what he
loved.
Who he loved, maybe.
That a man like him would choose her, would want her…
Breathless, Bella ducked broke their kiss and ducked her head to hide against his
neck. His chest rose and fell at the same quick pace as hers, and he rubbed her
back. "Bella? Are you okay?"
"Yeah." Overwhelmed and too self-conscious, but more than okay.
He cupped her face, pulling her gently away from his skin. "Are you sure?"
"It's…" She searched for words she didn't have. "It's a lot." She huffed, annoyed
with herself because she wanted to wring her hands and hide her face. "I feel stupid,
- 102 -
and I don't know why."
To her surprise, he smiled and shook his head. He kissed the tip of her nose.
"Would it help if I told you I feel really stupid too?"
She raised an eyebrow.
He sighed, and ran his thumb over her lips, his eyes fixated as though even then
he wanted to kiss her. "This is… I have no idea what we're doing, duckling. I have no
idea what I'm doing. If it was just you and me and no one else, this would be the
simplest thing in the world. But it isn't, and we need to think about it, but I can't
because…" He cupped her face, tickling her with the tip of his nose. "This is all I can
think about." He kissed her. "And this." His kiss then lingered.
"We do need to talk," he said minutes later when their kissing had them both
horizontal, him on his back and her on top of him. He brushed her hair over her
shoulder. "But it's getting late. They'll be back soon, or Dad will be up." His eyes
were uncertain as he looked at her. "Bella there's so much… I need you to
understand I'm not asking you this because I'm ashamed of you or because I think
you're a secret to be kept. But I think it's best we keep this between ourselves this
weekend, at least until we have time to talk." He pursed his lips, humor returning to
eyes. "And think."
Bella groaned and rested her head on his chest. "I think that's a good idea. Rose
and Emmett are going to flip."
"I wish they were the most of our problems." He sighed. "What am I doing to you,
little girl? What am I about to do to your life?"
Bella raised her head and narrowed her eyes at him. "I'm not a little girl, Edward.
I'm not a child."
His smile was gentle, and he cradled her cheek. "I know that. Believe me, I do."
He searched her eyes. "I do love you, Bella. Please never forget that."
Her heart pounded and she knew her idiotic grin was back in full force. She kissed
him. Hard. "I love you too," she mumbled against his skin.
- 103 -
Here We Go
"This is bullshit."
Garrett raised his eyebrow and shook his head. "You know you got off light. They
skewed it your way." He picked up the tab Edward was glaring daggers at. "This
could be a lot worse and you know it."
Edward grumbled and slumped over at his table. He was in a bad mood. Bella had
been gone for three days and they were all over the tabs again. He'd known they
would be, and Garrett had a point. There were a lot worse stories they could spin.
"They're all making it out to read that I beat that asshole up. She did that. I didn't
rescue her from anything. I just showed up at the hospital after everything was
over."
"I was there, asshat. You don't have to tell me." Garrett eyed him. "Does it
matter?"
"It matters because I don't want to be the damn hero. If the world has to look at
her, why can't they see who she really is?"
"Wow." Garrett laughed. "You are way too fucking obvious, you know that?"
"What are you talking about?" Edward asked, though he knew damn well.
"Something happened with Bella." Garrett wasn't asking. "You know you can tell
me."
Edward tapped on his tabletop. "I was really fucking stupid, that's what
happened." He flipped through the tabs. "They're going to tear her apart, aren't
they? If we were together."
"Are you together?"
Despite the discomfort churning in his gut, Edward had to smile. "She made the
first move." He laughed. "Do you have any idea how crazy that makes me?"
Garrett cackled. "Oh, shit. You're so very fucked, Edward."
"Yeah. I know." Edward slumped again.
- 104 -
"Well… I mean, what guy doesn't want this, right? Eighteen… you can train her to
do whatever you want to do."
Edward was over to Garrett's side of the table in the flash of an eye. He grabbed
his friend by his shirt and shook him hard. "You get to say something like that to me
once, just once. If you say it again, I will end you."
Garrett laughed and pushed Edward back. "You are a dramatic son of a bitch, you
know that?" He shook his head slowly. "I didn't mean it. You know I didn't. But the
tabs are going to be a million times worse than that, and you won't be able to save
her. But!" He patted Edward's shoulder. "You know the truth of the matter is,
they're going to run with this whether or not you're together. Next week, even if
you're across the world from her, they're going to make up something up, and it
probably won't be as pretty as a hero-saves-the-day story. I say you may as well be
happy."
Edward sat heavily in the nearest chair. "She's going to hate this."
"Of course she's going to hate this. We all hate this. You're serious about this,
right? About her?" He huffed. "As if I have to ask. You've been insane. Usually,
you're bored. And blase. And a bitch. Probably other b words too. But you're fucking
crazy lately. Of course you're serious."
"God help me," Edward muttered. "I feel like I'm about to ruin her life."
"You, my friend, are a garden variety good guy celebrity. You're Robert Downey Jr.
post his stint in jail, not pre. You're not going to ruin her life. You're not going to
make it easier, but thems the breaks. People think our lives have been easy street,
wandering into a successful gig like we did before we could even drink… legally, but
our lives haven't been easy. Could be harder, but we've had our challenges. This is
your next one."
"I don't want this to be her next one. Her… first one. I don't want us being
together to be a challenge."
"You can't change who you are, Edward. Just make sure she's prepared. That's all.
Because yeah. It's going to suck. But fuck, man. Anything that makes you… feel this
much is worth it."
"Christ, Garrett. Are you going hippie on me? You sound so zen. It's weird."
Garrett threw a balled up napkin at him. "I don't know if you noticed, Cullen, but
- 105 -
we're getting on in years." He pursed his lips, a strange look on his face. "I don't
know. The domestic thing, the steady girlfriend, the trying to make it last as long as
it ever does in this fucking town… Maybe I see the value in it, that's all. I mean, this
all works out, one year from now you might have a kid, ya know?"
"Don't start that. It's bad enough she's eighteen, you want me to make her a
teenage mother now too?"
"You know what I mean."
Edward blew out a long breath. "Yeah. I do."
Edward had been brooding most of the day when his phone buzzed. He smiled
when he saw the text was from Bella.
Skype?
A thrill went through him, and he was too excited to roll his eyes at himself. He
was giddy. Again.
She made him so stupid.
Most definitely Skype.
Edward sprinted upstairs to his room and pulled his laptop with him onto the bed.
When he saw her, he didn't feel stupid. He was breathless and in love and…
Yeah, maybe he was a little stupid.
But it didn't matter because she was beautiful, and he was happy to see her. She
was on her belly on her bed. He could see her legs kicked up in the air and the curve
of her pert ass. "Hey, gorgeous."
She ducked her head, and even on the camera he could see her cheeks flush red.
"Hi."
Edward flexed his fingers in his blanket. It was physically painful not to be able to
touch her. Already a number of very silly ideas were running through his head. He
could be on a plane in an hour. He could be to her in three.
- 106 -
He took a deep breath, remembering the tabs. He had to be smart. They had to be
smart. "Do you have any plans for winter break?"
She tilted her head, her eyes glinting with mischief. "I'm entertaining invitations."
"Ah, I see. Well, since I'm throwing my hat in the ring late, I suppose I better
make the pot sweet."
The way she grinned made him ache to kiss her.
When had this happened to him? When had he fallen so deep in love with a woman
he shouldn't have been thinking about?
"So you have a plan or what, Cullen? Impress me."
He smirked. "Well. I have a few ideas."
- 107 -
Bliss
Despite being done with her first semester of college and a nice Christmas with
her mom, the last week had been the longest of Bella's life.
She and Edward both knew sneaking around wasn't going to work in the long
term. Her aunt and uncle were smart and observant. If they didn't figure it out on
their own, there was no way Edward and Bella were going to be able to carry on any
kind of relationship without the paps exposing them.
One space. Five days was what they were giving themselves to figure out how
they were going to do this. And what they were doing. And…
A light on Bella's dash alerted her to the fact she was almost out of gas. She felt a
spike of irritation. She was so close now to Trinity Lake. Edward's publicist had a
cabin there. It was remote. There was no reason anyone would know either of them
were there.
Despite the heat in the car, Bella shivered. Her skin broke out in gooseflesh.
Five days. Alone.
She tried not to think of the sexy underthings Alice had talked her into buying.
She tried not to think about her complete lack of experience and Edward's rather
more extensive experience. Even his onscreen sex life was impressive. How could
she-
Just as she pulled into a gas station, Bella's phone rang. Even as she stepped out
into the cold Northern California air, she felt superheated. "Hey," she said, putting
the phone to her ear.
"Hey, duckling. Why aren't you here yet?"
"You're worse than a kid on a road trip. My drive is a couple hours longer than
yours, remember?"
"I know. I'm sorry." He sighed.
"Don't be ridiculous." She looked around at the snow covered trees and smiled.
"It's beautiful out here. I had to stop for gas. I'm only forty minutes away."
- 108 -
"I should come get you. What if the roads are icy?"
"If the roads were icy, they'd have made me stop and put chains on my tires. The
signs all say so."
Another sigh. "I know. I just can't believe this is happening. It feels too good to be
true."
Bella's grin threatened to split her face and though he wasn't looking at her, she
ducked her head, directing her smile to the ground. It still boggled her mind that he
could speak like that about her. That he wanted her.
"I'll be there soon," she promised.
The cabin was gorgeous. The frozen lake, the snow on the ground, thick in the
trees, weighing the evergreens down. It was all beautiful.
Bella hardly saw it.
She pulled into the cleared driveway and clasped the steering wheel so hard, her
knuckles were white. Her palms were sweaty. She was trembling. Excited, yes.
Scared, oh hell yes. She wished she wasn't, but…
She was out of her league.
A movement caught her eye, and Bella looked up to see Edward had come out on
the porch. The sight of him stole her breath. He was handsome in his long sleeved
shirt, his hair tousling in the wind. And when he saw her, his face lit up, and he
smiled in a way she'd never seen him smile on screen or at anyone else.
For her. All for her.
He descended the steps as she got out of the car. She'd barely straightened up
before he had her in his arms. He lifted her right off her feet, spinning her around
once. He whispered her name just before he lowered his mouth to hers. Bella
crossed her arms behind his neck, pulling him closer. The air was cold but he was
warm, and the way his hands roamed her body made her only hotter.
When his fingers crept up into her hair and knocked her beanie off she squealed a
protest against his mouth and pulled away. She brushed her fingers through her
- 109 -
hair. "I've been driving all day."
He looked amused, but he put her beanie back on her, smoothing her hair back
over her ears. "I'm glad you're here."
"I am, too."
They kissed again, slow and easy, tongues mingling, and they only broke when
Edward shivered. Bella rubbed his shoulders. "It's freezing out here, and you're not
wearing a jacket."
"You're not wearing a jacket either." He looked reluctant as he stepped away from
her, though he didn't let go of her hand. "Let's get inside."
They each took one of her bags so they could ascend the steps together. Bella
stepped in the door and she had to stop to take in her surroundings. Opulent didn't
even begin to cover it. "Wow. This place is amazing."
"It's a little overdone."
"You think?" She took a few steps forward, peering down one hall. "Edward, this is
not a cabin. This is way too big for just us."
"Ah, well. It's what I had available." He winked at her and tugged her forward.
"Come on. I'll give you the tour. I had to discover this territory all on my own, you
know."
The downstairs was simple enough. Living room. Den. Huge kitchen with an
ample dining room. A covered porch. A downstairs bedroom. Upstairs was a wide
game room and several more bedrooms.
The master suite alone resembled a small cottage. There was a sitting room
adjoining the bedroom, a bath with a two person tub and separate shower, and a
closet that could have easily fit both her and Alice's wardrobes with room to spare.
Perhaps best of all was the private verandah complete with jacuzzi and a stunning
view of the lake and mountains. Bella knelt at the window seat, staring out.
Bella wasn't so entranced that she didn't feel him step behind her, so she was
expecting it when he wound his arms around her, pulling her back against his chest.
Still, her heart began to pound in an erratic rhythm as he brushed her hair off one
shoulder and began to kiss her neck.
- 110 -
"I have one favor to ask," he murmured between kisses, his voice low enough to
send a vibration across her skin. Bella bit back a gasp when her nipples hardened in
response.
She swallowed hard. "What's that?" Her voice was breathier than she would have
wanted, but then, it was a surprise she could speak at all.
His hands traced a careless line down her sides to her waist. "I want three days
with you."
Bella was sure she was missing something. Her thoughts were cloudy. "We have
five days."
He pulled her back onto her feet long enough to spin her around, and then he
pressed her down onto the cushions, leaning over her. His eyes were intense on
hers. "I want three days where I don't have to think about anything else but you."
His hand found hers and he brought her fingers to his lips. "I don't want to think
about anything but this. Us. We're going to do what feels right, what we want. And
on the fourth day, if we still like each other, we're going to have to think about
everything else." He leaned forward, sealing his words with a sweet kiss. "Okay?"
She would have given him anything he asked for in that moment, but what he said
made perfect sense. "Yes. Yes, okay."
He beamed and readjusted them so he could pull her back against him. They
snuggled, Edward's lips brushing her neck, her cheek, the shell of her ear every so
often as they watched the sun set over the frozen horizon. Bella yawned, sleepy in
his warm embrace.
"You tired?" Edward asked.
"Of course I'm tired. Do you know how early I woke up to make this eleven hour
drive?" She tilted her head back, pressing a shy kiss to the underside of his chin.
"But I don't want to sleep."
"That is a very good thing."
They untangled themselves long enough to have a simple dinner. Then they made
their way to the living room, and Bella watched with hooded eyes as Edward built a
fire. He took off his sweatshirt, and Bella let herself ogle freely.
- 111 -
It was surreal. She'd known this man all her life and had never looked at him like
this. He'd held her and cuddled her before, but everything about this was new. It
was odd and wonderful to be so free with him here where no one could see. It had
the effect of reducing the myriad of questions and insecurities she had to just the
ones that existed between them.
Edward straightened up, clapping his hands together to wipe off the bits of bark.
He looked over his shoulder at her, his eyes sparking like the fire, and Bella's breath
caught. Her stomach fluttered with nerves as she watched him approach. He looked
the picture of confidence, and why shouldn't he be?
She was laying on the long lounge section of the wrap around couch. He sat on
the edge, and brushed his knuckles down her cheek. Bella wished she wasn't
worried about if she looked sexy or sloppy laying there as his fingers caressed her.
He ran the pad of his fingertip over her lips. "Are you okay?" he asked as he lay
beside her, moving himself so his body bent around hers.
For a long handful of seconds, she didn't answer. She looked into his eyes, letting
the person he had been to her settle into the person he was becoming. Her trust in
him was inherent. He had always loved her, though that love was evolving now. He
wasn't Felix. He most definitely wasn't Alec, and as inexperienced as she was, she
knew without asking he wouldn't push.
Bella rolled onto her side. "I'm fine," she said as she pressed their bodies together.
Strong in her realization she was safe with him, Bella drew her hand over the lines
of his chest, over his side, up his back.
His breath stuttered, and he ducked his head to catch her lips. Their hands were
unhurried, exploring each other as they kissed. Edward pushed her onto her back,
his weight on her as his fingers slipped under her shirt. The soft way he stroked her
stomach did things to her body Bella didn't understand. She wiggled beneath him,
and the mood changed abruptly.
Edward's fingers inched up until they were brushing the underside of her breast.
Not wanting to interrupt their kiss, Bella thrust against his hand, urging him
forward, giving him permission. His hand slipped to her back, and he unhooked her
bra with ease.
Felix had touched her this way, but this was different. There was a current that
passed between her skin and his. It erased her self-consciousness as it erased every
rational thought from her head. This was more than the giddy, silly, stupid haze of
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love. Her body understood what her mind didn't. Her movements were instinctual,
her hands seeking to touch him, to elicit even half the feeling he was as he brushed
his thumb over her nipple. Her hand slipped between them and sought the heat
between his legs.
Edward gasped, breaking their kiss for the first time in minutes. "Bella," he
whispered.
A tendril of the uncertainty returned, and Bella wondered if she was doing
something wrong. But the look in his eyes, all fire and need, told a different story.
She moved her hand to cup him through his pants, watching the way his eyes
glinted and his mouth fell open.
Bella sat up slightly so he was forced backward. "I want to feel you." She had no
idea how the words didn't shake as she said them.
He cupped her cheek and licked his lips. His eyes travelled down her body and
back up. "I want to see you." His whisper was husky. He looked at her as though the
idea of seeing her was more appealing than anything else in the world, like he would
have ignored the hottest model or actress he'd been with just for a glimpse of Bella's
tits.
As Bella pulled herself upright, Edward lay on his back, and she straddled his
hips. His hands were at her waist, fingers skimming along her skin. His eyes were
intent on hers. Bella took a deep breath and pulled her top up. She had the slightest
urge to cross her arms over her bare chest, but she dropped them to the side
instead.
Edward's eyes held hers a beat more before he let them wander downward. His
fingers traced a lazy circle around her bellybutton before he cupped her breasts in
his hands.
"Oh, God," Bella said on a breath. Every touch felt so intense.
She felt his hardness against her bottom and remembered her original intention.
She slid backward a few inches, still within his reach, and eyed him with what she
hoped was a coy smile as she undid the button of his pants.
It was fascinating to watch what her touch did to him. It was empowering to
understand she had the ability to make a man, strong and sure as he was, shiver and
quake with her fingers. She explored his length, revelling in the way he gasped. His
legs widened and he groaned when she traced her finger tips over and around his
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balls.
When she wrapped her fingers around his cock and stroked, he moaned. He
caressed her face, her neck, her breasts, murmuring her name reverently. He moved
his hand down her body and lined his fingers with hers, tightening her grip on his
cock.
"This doesn't hurt?" she asked as they moved their hands together. She would
have felt stupid except his face was flushed and his pleasure was obvious.
He huffed a laugh. "No. Tight is good. It's so, so good. You have no idea how
incredible this feels."
She thought she had some idea because the noises he was making brought her
physical pleasure. She varied the speed of her strokes just to watch the way he
writhed beneath her. He babbled, telling her he loved her, and she was gorgeous,
and amazing. And then, when he was close, her name tumbled from his lips as a
plea.
Begging. Edward Cullen was begging her.
It was power and trust and love, and it was beautiful. He came in her hand with a
loud cry she instantly vowed she would hear again. Soon.
Bella was trying to figure out where her shirt went so she could clean the mess on
her hand when Edward recovered enough to beat her to it. He sat up, taking his
undershirt off as he did. Wrapping his arms around her, he brought her with him
when he laid back down. He kissed her as he cleaned her hands, and Bella reveled
in the feel of being skin to skin, chest to chest with him.
"I want to touch you," he whispered as he kissed the corner of her mouth. "And I
want to taste you." He kissed her throat. "But most of all." He kissed under her ear.
"I want you in my bed tonight."
Bella's head spun with want and nerves.
Edward kissed a trail across her cheek. "Is that okay? There are other rooms," he
mumbled against her lips.
As though she was going to say no when he was holding her like this, kissing her,
robbing her of her ability to think and speak. "I want to stay with you."
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He lifted his head so he could smile at her. "That's a very good thing." He fit his
hand to her cheek. "I love you, Bella. More than I know how to deal with."
It was comforting to hear she wasn't the only one head over her heels, in over her
head and stupid-happy despite it. She rubbed the stubble on his chin and smiled
back at him. "I love you."
- 115 -
Bliss Pt 2
Edward woke first the next morning, for which he was grateful. It gave him time
to look at Bella in peace. Would it give her comfort, he wondered, that in all his
experience with women, he'd never been happy to wake up beside someone. So
much about what was happening between them was new to him, and there were
times insecure questions flitted through his mind.
Like now. How creepy was it that he was watching her sleep? Further, why did it
give him such happiness? She was always beautiful, but there was something
ethereal about her in sleep. Her lips were parted. She was very deeply asleep, and
he was glad. He remembered the way she'd protested around her yawns the night
before when they'd managed to stumble into the master bedroom. It had been a long
drive, and she confessed she hadn't slept much the past week.
He'd pulled his undershirt over her head and pulled her with him into bed. He'd
kissed and caressed her and told her they had all the time in the world. Last night,
he'd been able to put his lust, his want, his need for Bella aside to take care of her.
But that was last night.
Edward reached out and brushed back the hair that fell in a haphazard haystack
about her face. She didn't stir, and Edward let his fingers trail down her cheek to
the blanket draped over her shoulder. He pulled that down slowly and drank her in
inch by delicious inch. His shirt had ridden up, exposing her belly and, more
importantly, the plain white panties she was wearing.
Why were innocent, cotton panties so erotic?
Edward scooted as close as he could without pressing his body against her. He
rested his hand on the bare strip of skin on her side, above the line of her panties.
As he licked and nipped at the skin of her neck, he slipped his hand beneath the
fabric and found her clit.
She whimpered, and her body came alive beneath his fingers and mouth. She
writhed, and her hips began to move to the rhythm his fingers set.
"Edward." His name tumbled from her lips, a breathy question and a plea all at
once. "Edward."
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He raised his head to see her eyelashes flutter. Her eyes focused on his slowly,
and when she blinked, he dragged her panties down her legs. A gentle push to her
shoulders had her on her back, and Edward rolled to hover over her. He didn't speak
as he began to kiss a line down her neck. He peppered her collarbone with nips.
"What are you…? Oh, God." Bella swallowed hard. Her hands came down about
Edward's shoulders as he moved down her torso. He pushed up her shirt so he could
kiss each of her nipples in turn. Her fingernails dug into his shoulders as he swirled
his tongue around her skin.
And down.
He moved his hands to her knees and spread her legs apart. She gasped, coming
fully awake then. "Edward. You don't… I…"
"Shh." He raised his head and splayed his hand across the space between her
breasts and her belly. "I want to taste you." He let his hand dip as he spoke, and he
found her clit again. Her eyes stared straight up, and her skin was flushed. "Look at
me." He waited until she glanced down at him. "You are so beautiful, and I love you."
He moved up her body and kissed the sweet spot between her neck and shoulders.
"Will you let me taste you?"
Her breath stuttered, but she whispered her yes. He could feel the way her hand
trembled against the back of his neck as he spread her folds and began to explore
her with his tongue. She was inhibited at first. Her noises were small, and it was
clear she didn't know what to do with her hands. They were on his back, his
shoulders, in his hair. He could tell the exact moment she decided she didn't care
about looking foolish. She writhed. And moaned. And talked.
Jesus, did she talk.
"Baby. Edward. Fuck. Oh God. Baby, that's so... so. Ungh."
And, "Christ, your tongue. Why. What are you doing to me? Fuck."
And, "Oh, damn. Oh, fuck. Edward. Edward. Holy fuck."
Edward found himself bucking his hips against the mattress, seeking friction. Who
knew the sound of her going to pieces could be so erotic? That she was a talker
shouldn't have surprised him, but it did. He pressed his palms behind her knees and
pushed her legs back. He replaced his tongue with his fingers and moved his mouth
to her clit again.
- 117 -
When she came, she screamed. She screamed.
"Fuck," she said the words over and over between pants. Edward climbed to his
knees and stroked her leg as he waited for her to catch her breath.
"Your mouth is filthy, Swan. You kiss your mother with that mouth?"
She rolled her head to look at him. She grinned and pulled him down to her. "No,
but I kiss you."
Edward moaned into her mouth as her tongue darted out and swept across his
lips. There wasn't a lot hotter than a woman who would taste herself on his lips. And
that Bella would… that sex was so new to her, and this was all instinct, not some coy
dance on her part to please him, was even hotter.
"I love you," he mumbled against her lips.
She shifted beneath him, and Edward stifled a groan. He was hard as a rock and
needy, but he didn't want to push her. He was desperate to be inside her, but that,
he knew, had to be approached the right way. She'd told him how it was with Felix,
and he didn't want her to feel any pressure at all with him.
He would have told her these things, except that her hands had drifted down
between them until they brushed over the tent of his boxers. He heard her breath
catch.
Edward squeezed his eyes shut and rested his forehead against hers. "We, um…
We should shower. We should take a shower. And get dressed. And find some…
breakfast."
She kissed the underside of his chin. "What would be the point of that?" She
kissed his throat. "We're just going to get dirty again."
Edward's whole body stiffened. He slumped, resting all his weight on her as he
laughed and groaned. "Jesus Christ, Bella. You'll be the death of me, you know
that?" He raised his head. "We can do anything you want, you know. It's a very
pretty area."
Uncertainty flickered across her features. "Do you not want-" she began, but he
cut her off.
"Bella." He rolled to the side, taking her with him. He took her hand and moved it
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to his cloth-covered length. "I am embarrassingly close to coming in my shorts just
from listening to you." He ran his fingers over her side. "Just having you here like
this, where I can see you and touch you, it's more than I deserve." He moved his
hand to curl a finger under her chin. "Believe me, I want you. I want you so bad, I
can hardly see straight."
Her smile was pleased. "Screaming like a banshee turns you on?"
He chuckled and kissed the side of her mouth. "You turn me on. Don't ever doubt
it." He didn't know how to explain it. Sexual attraction was easy. Enjoying the
pleasure another person could bring him was easy. Anyone could make him come,
but this was a whole other ballgame. He was enraptured. Her pleasure, her
presence, brought him more fulfilment than any random orgasm ever could. "But it's
beside the point."
She hitched her leg up over his and rubbed herself against his length. "I'd say it's
right on top of the point."
"Fuck. Bella."
She pressed her lips together, a curious expression coming across her face. She
bucked against him again, and when his breath stuttered, her grin grew more
confident. With a hand spread wide on his shoulder, she guided him onto his back
and mounted him. She took his hands and leaned over him, pinning him down to the
bed. Edward held his breath, hoping she would…
Yeah.
She began to rock over his hard on. "Fuck. Baby, what are you doing?" he
murmured. "What are you doing to me?"
"Taking care of you."
He wondered if she knew how seductive she sounded with those simple words. He
squeezed her fingers. "You don't… We don't need…"
"You think it doesn't go both ways, that I don't like seeing you like this?" She
quickened her pace. "I know I don't have any experience. I know I was reluctant
with Felix. But you're not Felix." She leaned in further so her hair was in his face
and her lips near his ear. "I'm really glad all my firsts will be with you, and I hope
you'll be my only."
- 119 -
Edward lost what little control he had then. His body seized, and he thrust up
against her as he came. He could have been embarrassed. It was fast, and he hadn't
come in his boxers in well over a decade, but he was too wrapped up in Bella to
care. He gathered her to him and peppered kisses all over her face.
"I want to be your everything."
- 120 -
Bliss Pt 3
Bella was a level of content kittens in sunbeams didn't reach. The air all around
her head was brisk, freezing, but Bella was warm in the water from the hot tub. She
sighed and looked out at the gorgeous view. The pure blue of the sky mingled
perfectly with the green of the trees and stark white of the snow. It was idyllic.
The sound of the sliding door drew her attention, and Bella smiled as Edward
stepped out onto the verandah. He shivered and his steps quickened. He set his tray
down on the edge of the hot tub before he climbed in.
"Christ, it's cold."
"Not in here." Bella swirled her fingers through the tendrils of steam arching up
from the hot water.
"No," he agreed. "Not in here." He leaned in to kiss her as he wrapped an arm
around her. He let his kisses trail down to her shoulder while the water lapped at
them. Bella put her fingers under his chin and raised his head back up. They kissed
once more before Edward reached for the tray again. "Cheese. Olives. Grapes.
Wine."
"Trying to get me drunk again?"
His smile faltered. He caught it quickly, but she didn't buy it when he tried to
joke. "Well. I suppose if someone took a picture of us here, it wouldn't be as bad. It's
not an arcade." He wrapped a tendril of wet hair around his finger. "But you're still
three years from being able to drink legally.
"Closer to two and a half." She didn't like the tightness around his eyes. She
grimaced. "It's been three days."
He raised his eyes to her. "Not yet. It hasn't been three days yet."
Bella lifted her phone to check the time. "Three hours. And you know it's just a
talk. It can't last forever and we still have two more days." She rested her hand on
his thigh under the water. "How much does my age bother you?"
He looked down at the water. "When I'm with you, it doesn't bother me at all." He
tilted his head toward her and nuzzled her neck. "I see you, Bella. I see you for you. I
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see my duckling, the little girl I always adored, grown up now, and I couldn't be
prouder of you. And I see the woman you're becoming, strong and so sweet. You
have no idea how far ahead you are than so many of the women… the people I meet.
You know what you want, and you're not afraid to have it. You're invigorating to be
around. I don't remember the last time I felt alive, if I ever have. Not like this."
Bella's heart sputtered. It had been weeks. She should have been used to his
sweet words by then, but she wasn't. It astounded her, that he could look at her and
see these things, see her that way. She liked who she was in his eyes. She snuggled
closer to him and tried to remember her original point. "But?"
He sighed and raised his head again. "But you are eighteen, and that is…"
"Gross?"
"I was going to say it's a challenge." He ran the tip of his nose along her cheek.
"You put two people together in any relationship, there's always going to be
something."
"My age is a challenge." Bella didn't know if she was following. It was a
complication to be sure but a challenge?
"I remember being eighteen. I'm nothing like that boy. When I think about how
little I knew myself, how little I'd developed by that age, it makes me feel very guilty
for being here with you. For wanting you."
"Why would you feel guilty?"
"Because I have no right, Bella. You should have the room to define who you are,
what you really want, without defining yourself by a relationship with someone else,
let alone someone like me."
"Like you?"
"Putting aside what I bring to the table, the complications I've already brought to
your life, I am so much older than you. I've lived twice as long. There are going to be
things about me you don't understand and things about you I simply can't wrap my
head around."
"Like what?"
"I don't know. We can't know, but it will happen." He waved a hand helplessly.
- 122 -
"From the really big things to the smaller things I can't fathom. Like you probably
listen to... Justin Bieber."
"Whoa, whoa." Bella shifted so they were further apart. "I do not listen to Justin
Bieber. Maybe I'm young, but I have taste."
His smile was more genuine. "My point, duckling, is that we're in different
generations." He raised his hand to brush his fingers down her cheek. The hot water
cut rivulets of warmth down her otherwise cool cheek. "The last thing I want is for
you to resent me."
"For what?"
"Tying you down too young. Tying you down to a man with far too much baggage."
Bella was quiet. Her mind raced. She wasn't an idiot. She wasn't stupid enough to
think the age difference would be a non-issue. Frustration made her grit her teeth. It
wasn't as though it was something she could fix.
Suddenly pissed, Bella moved so quickly, the water sloshed. She straddled him on
the bench and wrapped her arms around his neck. "You remember what we talked
about after Felix? I didn't want this, Edward. I never wanted to fall in love. We had
better things to do, remember?" She brushed her fingers through his hair, slicking it
back as she looked in his eyes. "But it happened and we're going to have to deal with
it. Like a… disease or a disability or something truly horrible."
He laughed, and Bella smiled at the sound. She adjusted herself on his lap and
began to gyrate over him. "Whatever happens in my life is going to shape who I am,
Edward. I think I could do a lot worse than this."
"Oh, Christ." He panted, looking down between them as if he could see through
the water what she was doing to him. "Sweetheart, if you're trying to have a serious
discussion…"
"I want to make sure I have your attention."
His fingers dug into her hips not to stop her but as though he was hanging on.
"That you definitely have."
She continued to move over him, setting a slow but insistent pace. "I'm not going
to forget who I wanted to be before you came along. Being with you doesn't mean I
can't have what I want. And even if I started to forget, what makes me so sure of
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you, of this, even though I'm young, is that you would never let me." She was proud
her voice didn't waver as she spoke. She sounded like she was in control, like she
knew what she was doing.
"I wouldn't," Edward said. His voice was strained. He was doing that thing where
he held back, as though he didn't want to frighten her.
Bella ground against him harder. "I know you wouldn't. That's what makes you a
good boyfriend. If we forget that Felix ever happened, I have very good taste in
men."
He smirked. "I don't know about that."
"Hmm. Maybe it was I have very good tasting men." She bent her head to take a
long lick at Edward's neck. Her throat was dry as she did because part of her was
positive it was a foolish thing to do.
But Edward moaned. His fingers pressed into her sides to the point of pain.
"Bella." His voice was ragged. He didn't speak. Instead, he got his arms tight and
secure around her before he stood. Bella wrapped her legs around his waist,
squeaking in surprise as the cold winter air hit her wet body. She wasn't cold for
long. He claimed her lips and hurried inside where it was warm.
Edward set her down in the center of the bed and was over her in a fraction of a
second. His sodden trunks did nothing to hide his erection from her. Acting on
instinct, needing to feel his skin against hers, Bella drew her hands down his body.
She hooked her fingers into his trunks and dragged them down.
"Bella." Edward wrapped a hand around her wrist, stopping her movement. He
gulped, grasping for words. "We need to slow down."
Bella loosed her wrist from his grip and wrapped her fingers around his length.
"Because you want to?"
He moaned. "No. I… we…" He made a feral noise and trapped her hand between
them as he pinned her body beneath him. "I know you think that I have some kind of
perfect, unyielding self-control, but that's not actually the case." His kiss was rough,
demanding, but after a moment, he tempered it. "I don't want to push you, Bella, no
matter how much I want you."
Bella thrust her hips up, wiggling until he got the idea. He lifted his body from
hers enough that her hands were free. Rather than let him go, she began to stroke
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him. "I want you. I want this with you. It was always going to be you."
He shuddered and lowered his body down on hers, gently this time. "Bella, Bella,
Bella." He lifted his head and cupped her cheek. "Are you sure?"
"Yes. This is what I want."
He closed his eyes, and for a second, she was afraid he was going to find an
excuse to say no for her own good. As much as she hated how inexperienced she
was when compared to the women he'd been with, it had to be trying for him. Being
someone's first was a responsibility he took seriously. It only made Bella love him
more, but if he let it get in the way of this, she was contemplating violence.
He sat up, bringing her with him. Before she could launch into another argument,
she felt a tug as he undid the knot holding her bikini top up. His mouth closed over
her nipple, his hand slid down her body to undo the knots of her bikini bottom, and
Bella forgot every argument in her head.
The nerves were back. She was sure, but of course she was nervous. She held
onto him as he gathered her in his arms. For once, she didn't try to pretend she had
control here. She didn't want it. She wanted him to lead her.
Edward adjusted them so he was leaning back against the headboard with Bella
against his chest, between his spread legs. He used his nose to get her to tilt her
head to the side so he could kiss her neck as his hands wandered her body. "You
first," he murmured against her ear. "Let me make you feel good." He rubbed his
hand between her legs, the heel of his palm pressing on her clit.
Bella whimpered and closed her eyes. At his encouraging, she didn't try to think
about what she should be doing. She reached back, threading her fingers through
his hair, but otherwise let him do what he would.
He whispered in her ear, nipped at her neck, kissed her senseless as he worked
her with his fingers. His free hand pinched and played with her nipples, stroked the
sensitive skin at her belly, and it was not long before she was babbling nonsensically
and screaming. Again.
If the insistent prod of his cock against her ass was any indication, he liked it.
Edward kissed her once more before he shifted them. He laid her down and
turned away to rummage through the toiletry bag he had on the nightstand as she
caught her breath.
- 125 -
"What are you doing?" she asked.
He held up a familiar foil package. Bella sat up, watching with curiosity as he put
the condom on. She wanted to feel him inside her without that barrier, but she
didn't know how to tell him. As it was, she was eager, but there was still that twinge
of nerves and fear.
In the end, it hardly mattered. He was still hot and hard when he entered her.
Bella clung to him as he pushed into her with slow, easy strokes. Bella gave herself
over to sensation - the feel of him stretching her, the burn that was pleasure mixed
with pain, his weight on her, his breath in her ear and moist kisses against her skin.
It was so different than his fingers or tongue.
"Look at me," he begged.
Bella opened her eyes, finding his intense on her. Her breath caught. An emotion
too big for her to comprehend filled her, heightening the sensation of him moving in
her. She moaned and whispered his name. Moving on instinct, she spread her legs,
welcoming him deeper.
His moan was low and long. "Baby, are you okay?"
"Yes." She rocked her hips, experimenting, and smiled when his eyes threatened
to roll back in his head. "I love you."
"So much." He ducked his head, peppering kisses to her cheek as he quickened
his pace.
The sight and sound of his pleasure as they moved together would have been
enough to hook her on this. She loved seeing him like this, loved being connected to
him, and despite her wish she was more experienced, she couldn't regret that he
was her first.
Watching his orgasm, feeling him pulse inside her… Bella was enraptured.
She stroked the moisture from his back as his breathing steadied out. They shifted
reluctantly. Edward disposed of the condom, and together, they peeled the soaked
bedspread down so they could climb beneath the warm, dry blankets. There, they
cuddled and kissed, unhurried and sated for the moment.
Bella brushed his nose with hers as lethargy got the best of her. She was warm
and content in his arms, loved and adored and blissed out. She ached, yes, but it was
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a welcome ache when it reminded her of what it was like to be connected to him.
Before she could drift off, he whispered her name in her ear. "Hmm?"
His arms tightened around her. "Promise me, Bella. Promise me you won't forget
this. When things get hard, promise me you'll remember this moment."
Bella dragged her eyes open. She blinked at him, not quite comprehending his
desperation. How could she ever forget? She couldn't imagine a feeling that would
overshadow the overwhelming love she had for him. She snuggled closer and kissed
him. "I promise."
- 127 -
That Went Well
Though it had been a wonderful five days, all good things had to come to an end.
They'd agreed it was best to face their problems head on. As such, Edward had
ditched his rental car and was driving back with Bella.
"I'm going to have to go back to California if Alec doesn't plead guilty and there's
a trial," Bella said as they drove.
They were holding hands over the shifter, and Edward squeezed her fingers.
"Might not come to that."
"But if it does, can I stay with you?"
"Was that ever in question? Of course you can stay with me." He brought her
knuckles to his lips for a quick kiss.
Her smile was warm. "You ever work, Cullen, or you just sit at home expecting
guests?"
"I have a shoot in three weeks, actually, but it's in L.A."
Bella shifted so she could look at him. "Can you tell me about it? What are you
doing? Who else is cast?"
She sounded so excited, Edward was taken off guard. He told her about his latest
project and had to laugh when she flipped out about the fact he would be working
with Anthony Hopkins.
"You're fangirling out right now. You know that, right?" Edward asked.
"How can you be so cool about this, Edward? Sir Anthony Hopkins. Hannibal
Lecter. He's a fucking legend."
"He's just a man."
Bella rolled her eyes. "I know that, idjit, but it would be amazing to talk to him,
see the process and all that. See him work." She tilted her head. "I'd love to see how
you work one day, too."
- 128 -
"I can get you on set, duckling, if that's what you're interested in. You'll have to
promise not to faint in Sir Anthony's presence."
"You'd really take me?"
There was a heavier implication in her tone, and he heard what she was really
asking. Would he acknowledge to his co-workers, to the likes of Anthony Hopkins,
that they were together?
"Of course I'd take you." He let his hand drift up and down her arm. "We talked
about this, Bella. When you're comfortable, if you're comfortable, I want you with
me for all of it."
She shivered under his touch. "Red carpets and spotlights," she murmured, and he
could hear the nerves in her tone.
He brushed his fingers against her neck. "You'd be stunning. But yes, you're
welcome on set whenever you want as long as I can swing it. Except maybe on the
project I'm doing after this one."
"Why? What's wrong? Are you going somewhere dangerous?"
"Nothing like that, but I will be working with Chris Hemsworth."
She squeaked. "Really? That's… wow."
"Exactly." He nodded, making his expression grave. "Garrett worked with him a
couple years back. I'm telling you, he came back and it was Chris this and Chris
that. He had a legitimate crush. I swear he almost hung Thor posters up in his
room."
Bella giggled. "Ah, you think I'll fall in love with him instead, huh?"
"How could I blame you? He's dreamy." He pretended to sigh.
"You are such a girl." She shook her head. "Chris is very pretty, but it's still cooler
you're working with Anthony Hopkins. And it sounds like a really interesting
concept. I'm excited to see you take on a role like that, aren't you?"
He hadn't been. Oh, the role was interesting, sure. He enjoyed what he did for a
living, but it had been a long, long time since he'd been excited. Listening to Bella,
he remembered when he was passionate about it, when every day on set was a thrill.
- 129 -
When had he lost that? "It will be interesting."
They stopped driving when they were still five hours from Seattle. They could
have kept going and made it home, but it was a bad idea. Neither of them was naive
enough to believe the conversation with Rosalie and Emmett would go well. It was
better not to have to face that firing squad when they were grumpy and tired from a
long drive.
The fact it gave them one more night to make love before the shit hit the fan was
another selling point.
It still shocked Edward how awing the experience of touching her so intimately
was. That he got to see her, be with her like that was a kind of pleasure he'd never
experienced before.
He'd been with Hollywood starlets and some of the most creative minds in
Hollywood, but it took this eighteen-year-old girl to teach him the ecstasy of
knowing someone's heart as well as their body. How he thought he could live
without this his whole life he didn't understand.
When they were both nude and drunk with each other's kisses, Edward lay back.
He took her hand, pulling her toward him. He kept his eyes on hers, gauging her
willingness. It took her a few moments to understand what he wanted. He was
enamored of the look on her face, at once shy and bold. She never let her
uncertainty stop her. She crawled over his body, straddling his hips, sliding over his
cock without taking him in. He loved the glee in her eyes, the smug satisfaction he
saw when she made him moan.
"Lift up, baby," he murmured, and he guided his cock inside her.
"Holy fuck," she said on a breath when she was settled again on top of him.
"That feel good?" he was dying to move, desperate to, but she was always his first
priority.
She nodded and groaned. "So good."
She rocked on him, slow at first but gaining speed as as she got used to the feel of
him. He was buried so deep in her, Edward could hardly think straight. He ran his
hands over her body, her breasts, her nipples. Up her neck to caress her cheek.
When he ran his thumb over her lips, her tongue darted out. When he gasped, she
took his thumb into her mouth.
- 130 -
As Edward thrust up into her, he watched her. He watched her eyes as emotions
played out. The tenderness he felt for her was reflected back at him, the passion.
Then, as their bodies became slicker and their movements more urgent, he saw
pleasure there, heard it in the pitch of her cries.
There were, Edward was coming to understand, two very distinct kinds of
pleasure. There was the pleasure of reveling in another person. Each touch, each
look, each conversation felt so different because it was them, her, Bella. That kind of
pleasure was new to him, and he found it amazing how fantastic sex could be when
it was an extension of that profound emotion. But Edward wanted Bella to
experience the physicality of pleasure, too. He'd brought her orgasms with his
fingers and tongue, but he wanted to feel her clench around his cock. There he knew
exactly what he was doing.
He twisted his hips as he thrust into her, watching to see when he'd hit his mark.
When he did, her body jerked. Her hands came down on his bare chest. Her
eyelashes fluttered, and she gulped, her expression shocked.
"Let it happen, Bella. I'm right here, baby. You're so fucking beautiful."
Her eyes closed and her body moved with his. The sight, sound, and feel of her
orgasm sent him straight into one so intense, his vision darkened.
Bella collapsed atop him, shaking. He kissed her damp forehead. "Are you okay?"
he whispered between pants.
She laughed. "Yeah. I think so."
He slipped out of her and carefully shifted them onto their sides. They didn't
speak but let their hands and bodies communicate for them. He stroked her cheek.
She traced the line of his nose and jaw. She tangled their legs together, and when
neither of them could keep their eyes open, Bella tucked herself under his chin.
"Who are you more scared of, Emmett or Rosalie?"
Edward turned away from the road to fix Bella with a look. She was trying to make
light of the situation. He could go along for the moment. "Have you seen my
brother?"
"Do you really think he'd hit you?"
- 131 -
"I don't know. He almost hit me for that whole arcade thing."
Bella balked. "What?"
Whoops. "It's not a big deal, Bella. Emmett loves you like you're his own daughter.
He thought I was taking advantage of you." He grimaced. "He probably will say
something like that."
Bella crossed her arms. "For fuck's sake. You're grown men. You should be more
mature than to get in a fight. That's gross."
"We're also brothers. We grew up wrestling, among other things, and it's always
ten times worse when the person you feel has done something wrong is family."
"Well, it's not an attractive reaction, in case you were wondering."
Edward smirked. "Don't worry. If he wants to hit me, I'm not going to hit him
back."
"That's not… ugh." Bella slumped in her seat, looking for a moment like the pouty
teenager she was.
"I can handle Emmett. Honestly, if one of them is going to fly off the handle, it's
going to be Rosalie." He shook his head and brushed his fingers against her cheek,
trying to smile at her. "You know the movie with Chris Hemsworth? It's an action
flick. We'll just consider this practice."
"That's not funny."
Edward usually found great satisfaction in being right, but in this case, he was
anything but smug.
Rosalie got to him first. She shoved him. Hard. It stung more than Edward wanted
to admit. "You son of a bitch." She grabbed him and shook him. "You stupid son of a
bitch. What have you done? What the fuck have you done?"
"Whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa." Bella tried to get to them, but Emmett grabbed her
around the waist, pulling her back. "Dammit, let me go. And Aunt Rose, let him go."
"Bella be quiet," Rosalie said. Edward bristled. He almost snapped at his
- 132 -
sister-in-law not to talk to Bella that way, but he should have known better. Bella
had her own back.
"Be quiet? Why? I come home to tell you I'm in a relationship and I'm happy and
you're shoving my boyfriend around like you're in seventh grade." She wrested
herself out of Emmett's grasp. She wrestled her way between Edward and Rosalie,
taking Edward's hand as she did. "You think maybe you can all remember I'm not
the only adult in the room?"
Edward had to fight to keep his smirk in check. He stepped out from behind Bella,
so they wouldn't think he was trying to hide or let her fight his battles. He held his
free hand out in a placating motion. "I can imagine what you're thinking-"
"Oh, I seriously doubt that," Rosalie said.
"You told me," Emmett said, glaring at Edward as he spoke. "You looked me in the
eyes and swore nothing was happening between you two."
"When I told you that, nothing was happening."
"How long has this been going on?"
Edward grimaced. "Thanksgiving, but-"
"You bastard." Rosalie took a step forward but stopped before she got to Edward.
"Are you kidding me? You seduced her after she was attacked by that asshole, when
she was vulnerable, and-"
"Wow, will you stop?" Bella interrupted her aunt. "Edward didn't do anything
wrong. He didn't seduce me. I kissed him first, and I was fine. Alec… I was fine,
okay?"
"If you didn't do anything wrong, why would you hide it?" Emmett asked, still
glaring daggers at Edward.
"That's what I've been trying to tell you. Whatever you may think of me, this is not
something I'm walking into lightly. We didn't say anything at Thanksgiving because
we needed time to ourselves, by ourselves, to figure out what the hell we were
doing. After we had a chance to talk, we came to you first thing."
Rosalie huffed. "First thing," she repeated, the words scathing. "You mean after
you were wherever you were for a week."
- 133 -
"Nope. Uh-uh." Emmett grabbed Edward and started hauling him toward the back
door.
"Emmett," Bella protested. She moved to follow them, but Rosalie pulled her back.
"What are you doing? Don't-"
"Relax. I'm not going to hit him. I just need to talk to him." Emmett stared at him.
"Man to man."
Edward swallowed down his anger and guilt. "It's fine, Bella. Let him ask what he
needs to."
Bella looked dubious, but she settled back on her heels with an unhappy nod.
Edward ignored the vice grip Emmett had on his arm and let himself be led
outside.
"It took you seven days to talk it all out, huh?" Emmett said when they were out of
earshot.
Edward knew exactly where this was going. "Emmett…"
His brother turned to face him, his fists clenched at his side and his normally
cheerful expression turned to dangerous fury. "Did you fuck her?"
Edward swallowed the lump in his throat. "That is none of your business."
Emmett took another step forward so he was in Edward's personal space. "Don't
give me that bullshit, Edward. She's my kid. Did. You. Fuck. Her?"
"What do you want me to say?" Edward forced himself to hold his brother's gaze.
Yes, he felt guilty in general, but the love they shared was special and true. No
matter what else, he wasn't ashamed of loving her. He wouldn't look on what they'd
done together these last few days as something dirty. He wouldn't do that to her.
"You're disgusting. She's a child, Edward."
"She isn't."
"You said it yourself three months ago. What, did she grow up all of a sudden?"
"No. I was wrong three months ago, and you're wrong now." He held both his
- 134 -
hands out, imploring. "You think her age doesn't scare me? It scares the hell out of
me, Emmett. I didn't plan this. If you'd asked me, it's not what I would have wanted
for her, but…" He waved his hands helplessly. "God, fuck if I know, okay? I really
don't know what happened or how. All I know is from one day to the next she was
the most important thing to me, the most important thing ever."
"Yeah, I'll bet. Pretty important to have a pretty little thing who'll do whatever you
want."
Edward balled his fists and stepped forward, holding himself tall even against his
brother's intimidating form. "I get that you're pissed off, and you have that right. But
if you don't know she's smarter than that, then you don't know her at all."
Emmett didn't back off. "Bella's as smart as they come, but she's still eighteen
years old. She's not a tower of strength. No one is, but she's a young girl. It was this
side of six months ago she was dealing with being dumped for the first time and
humiliated. Then that asshole, and now this. You are who you are, Edward. Half the
world loves you and knows you. Beyond that, she's always admired you. You have
power over her. Whether you want it or not, that makes all of this your
responsibility."
"You think I don't know that?" Edward stepped back and ran his hand through his
hair. "Again, I know you're angry, so I'm trying not to take offense. But, fuck,
Emmett. Who do you think I am? I've never hurt a woman in my life, you think I'm
going to start with Bella?"
Emmett looked uncertain, so Edward pressed on. "I love her, Emmett. I'm in love
with her. Because I love her, yes, sometimes I wish I had the strength to walk away,
but at the same time, she is an adult. I'm not trying to take advantage of a
vulnerable young girl, but I'm also not going to tell her how to live her life. She's
going to make mistakes and get hurt the way we all did." He swallowed hard. "I'm
just going to work my ass off to make sure she never regrets choosing me."
"Christ," Emmett muttered, scrubbing a hand over his eyes.
"Look, this is a shock. I get that. I'm going to get a hotel and leave you guys alone
tonight. You can process this and talk to Bella. Once you're calm, maybe we can all
talk like rational people."
Emmett huffed. "Stay here, asshole." He pointed his finger in Edward's face. "But
I swear to God if you pull any of that sneaking into her room crap, I will throw you
out the goddamn window."
- 135 -
Edward's lips twitched. He offered his brother a hand. "Deal."
They shook.
- 136 -
Romantic Leading Man
"Bella?"
Bella pressed herself against the door to push it shut. She reached behind her to
turn the lock.
Edward sat up in bed, blinking. Bella grinned as she watched him in all his sleepy,
mussed-haired glory. This was hers. He was hers.
"Bella." His voice was rough with sleep.
He was hers and she intended to have him. She padded across the room and knelt
at the foot of the bed. She crawled to him and pressed a kiss to his chest, to his chin,
and then his lips. He sighed and kissed her back. His hands fell around her, and he
pulled her to him.
"Bella. Bella. Bella," he said between kisses. His hands were on her face, in her
hair. It had been a long, tense day, and Bella had needed the reassurance of his
physical touch. "Are you trying to get me killed?"
"That would be counterproductive to this whole idea of living happily ever after,
wouldn't it?" That was one of the many accusations her aunt had hurled at her. She
was pretending to be an adult, believing her life was a fairytale. She shook her head
to dismiss the kernels of doubt Rosalie had planted and straddled him.
Edward groaned. "Bella, we can't do this. Not now, not here."
"Why?" She ground her hips against him in that way she knew he liked.
He pressed his hands against her waist, stilling her movements. "Because I
promised my brother, for one thing."
"My uncle is not invited to our bed."
Edward caught her face in his hands. "It's not about that, Bella. They're your
parents for all intents and purposes. They have a right to be worried about you, and
indulging in this one rule is only respectful."
Bella pulled back though she kept her arms looped around his neck. "Because they
- 137 -
were super respectful of you? Rosalie tried to kick you out of the house. She said
awful things about you."
Even in the limited light of the room, Bella could see the sad look on his face. "She
could have been calmer, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't respect her in her own
house."
Bella bowed her head feeling like the silly child they kept trying to say she was.
"Hey." Edward cupped her cheek. "Don't feel self-conscious. I'm new to this, too.
I'm just trying to do this right."
Bella rolled off him onto the mattress and stared at the wall. "I guess that means
I'm not."
"No. That's not what I meant." He sounded flustered. Still put out, Bella let him
stew. The bed shifted as he laid down and wrapped his arm around her, pulling her
tight against him. He found her hands and threaded their fingers together. "I know
you're angry about the things they've said, but Rosalie let me stay. You're usually
such a pragmatist. Talk to me. What has you going against your aunt and uncle's
wishes all of a sudden? Tell me what this is really about."
Bella was silent for another handful of seconds before she shuddered and
snuggled back against him. "I don't know. I was scared they would make you too
guilty, that you would leave me because everyone else seems to know what's best
for my life. Why should you be any different?"
He let go of one hand so he could brush the hair away from her ear. He kissed the
back of her neck. "You don't have to seduce me if you need reassurance, Bella. Don't
get me wrong. I want you. I always want you, but you can talk to me about
anything."
"I know." To her horror, Bella's voice wavered. She hated how uncertain and
emotional she'd been since she set foot back in her house. This was supposed to be a
safe place where she was accepted unconditionally. Now she wanted to run and
drag Edward with her, clinging to him so he couldn't let her go.
The neediness that crawled under her skin was unnerving.
"Bella, look at me."
She shook her head and pressed her face against the pillow to hide her tears.
- 138 -
"Okay." He ran his finger through her hair, untangling knots with gentle strokes.
"I'm scared for us, too. I know neither of us got into this for the wrong reasons, but
then again, no one ever thinks they do. Everyone thinks they're the exception to the
rule. I want to promise your life will be better because we're together, but it's not a
promise I can make. But then again, that has little to do with our age gap or who I
am or anything like that. No one could make that promise. You and I have always
been realists, and I don't think we should lose that now.
"But that being said, we're going into this with both eyes open. I will fight for you,
Bella." He stroked his fingers down her cheek. "You've always been strong, stronger
than me. I believe we can be the exception rather than the rule, and I'm not scared
enough of failing that I'm not going to try. With you, I have too much to gain.
Walking away would be the bigger loss. I love you, Bella. I love you so much, I might
as well be a ridiculous schoolboy again. I want to memorize sonnets and try my hand
at poetry. I want to ask you every minute of every day if you love me just to hear you
say it, just so I can believe it's real, and I feel so stupid sometimes."
Bella turned in his arms pressing herself against him. He kissed the tip of her nose
and her forehead. "I suppose it's possible your aunt and uncle are right, and this is
doomed from minute one, but the same could be said of any relationship. The same
could be said of anything." He cupped her cheek and tilted her head up to him. "I'd
rather have five minutes of wonderful than a whole lifetime of nothing special."
At that, her lips turned up. She tried not to laugh, but she couldn't help it. "Did
you really just quote Steel Magnolias? Really? You're so much better than Julia
Roberts, Edward."
He grinned. "It made you smile." He looked smug, but his touch was gentle as he
brushed the remnants of her tears away. "You know you're the only person in the
history of the world who has ever gotten to see me like this, right? Like some cliche
romantic leading man."
"Everyone in the world has gotten to see you like a cliche romantic leading man."
He kissed the tip of her nose again. "But this is me. I can be stupid with you.
That's the whole point." He squeezed her tight. "And you can be silly or insecure. I'm
not going to love you any less. I want to give you what you need, Bella, but you have
to let me know." He kissed the side of her mouth. "Deal?"
"Yeah. Deal."
They kissed for a few minutes more. They were lazy kisses not meant to lead
- 139 -
anywhere. Then, Bella sighed and sat up. "I better get back to my room before I fall
asleep here."
Edward took her hand. "We're going to show them, Bella. We're going to show
them our lives are better together than they would have been apart."
"Promise?"
"No. But I believe."
- 140 -
Premiere
"Oh, holy crap," Edward said under his breath. He was glad his laptop was sitting
on his lap because his reaction to Bella appearing on his Skype screen was instant.
She was on her belly on her bed, her legs swinging in the air. She was wearing the
cutest boy shorts that showed off her ass quite nicely.
"Hey, you," she said with a grin.
"Hi, duckling." He sighed. "I miss you so much."
"I miss you, too." She smiled, and he wanted so much to run his fingers over her
lips.
"Tell me everything I've missed in the last-" he looked at the clock, "six hours
since we've talked. I'm not very pleased about that, by the way."
She rolled her eyes. "Sorry. I thought I wasn't supposed to drop out of school to
let you be my sugar daddy."
"I'll forgive you this time."
"Such a relief."
"Speaking of forgiveness… How are Rose and Emmett doing?"
Bella grimaced. "Aunt Rose always snips at me. She's always playing those
celebrity news shows now. She buys all the magazines and talks about them
whenever I come in eyesight. It's like she's figured out a way to ground me because
I stay in my room when I'm not at school."
"And Emmett?"
She was trying to hide it, but he saw hurt flit across her features. "He's…
awkward around me. He doesn't look me in the eyes. It's like when he sees me, he
sees us together."
Edward shuddered. "That would be uncomfortable." He didn't like the idea of his
brother seeing them together anymore than he was sure Emmett appreciated it.
"Well, what do you think about sneaking out tomorrow?"
- 141 -
She looked startled. "Tomorrow? What do you mean?"
"Come see me. Get on a plane after your morning class and come for the
weekend."
"Don't you have that premiere tomorrow?"
Edward swallowed a lump in his throat. "We have to get it over with sometime. If
you'd prefer not to, I'd understand. I think you'd like the movie. Your friend, Mr.
Hemsworth. I hear it's good."
The screen shook and settled a few moments later with Bella cross legged on the
bed. She looked so worried, he ached to comfort her. "You want me to go to a movie
premiere. A red carpet with you?"
"I always want you with me."
"It's a red carpet Edward. Insanely beautiful people in insanely beautiful dresses.
Camera people everywhere. And you want me with you."
Edward sighed. "It's not as terrible as all that. You and I both know we're not
going to be able to avoid the paps. We talked about that, right?"
"Yeah…" She sounded so nervous.
"I thought… the first time could be a controlled environment. They're supposed to
be at those events. There's space between where they can be and where we'd be.
We wouldn't be the main attraction either."
She nodded. "I, um… it makes sense. I just…" She huffed. "Edward, the fanciest
dress I have would make me a laughing stock."
Edward ran his hand through his hair. He remembered yelling at Rose not that
long ago. There was nothing wrong with the way Bella dressed, nothing at all. But
he knew his business. He knew in front of those cameras, more than anywhere else,
it mattered what she wore. It wouldn't matter how smart she was, how strong, how
amazing. They would only see every flaw in her makeup. He hated bringing her into
a world where even for a few minutes, she could not be herself.
"I want you to understand I would be proud to walk in there with old jeans and a
shredded t-shirt. I would dress exactly the same, if that's what you wanted," he said.
- 142 -
"You and I both know that would be the opposite of helpful. It is what it is,
Edward."
He smiled and wished again that he could touch her. "If you come, a team of very
talented men and women will take you shopping. They'll know the latest fashions,
and they'll help you find something you're comfortable wearing. They'll do your hair
and makeup however you'd like. You're beautiful, Bella. Natural beauty, not the
plastic pretty we get out here. I would be very surprised if at least one casting agent
doesn't approach you."
She closed her eyes. "You realize that's a terrifying idea to me, right?"
"Believe me, love. I don't want them to get their hands on you. You're perfect just
the way you are."
Her smile was more sincere, her features less frightened when she opened her
eyes again. "And there's a party?"
It had been a long while since Edward had stayed more than an obligatory twenty
minutes at a premiere party that wasn't for his own movie. Even then, he'd only
stayed longer because it was expected of him. It had been a long time since a
Hollywood party held any appeal, but it was different now. He found he was excited
at the prospect of seeing Bella's face at the lavish, ostentatious affairs. "Yes, there
will be an after party with no cameramen invited."
"And Chris Hemsworth."
"You would hold on to that fact." He gave her a wry look.
She grinned. "Okay. I'll do it."
He brightened. "You will?"
"Yeah. We have to face it sooner or later, like you said. And I'd really love to see
you."
"We'll spend the whole rest of the weekend doing whatever you'd like."
She tilted her head. Her cheeks tinted red, but her expression was seductive. "I
have a few things in mind."
Edward groaned. "Minx."
- 143 -
"Well, come on, sugar daddy. Where's my plane ticket? I'll skip my class. There's
no way I'll be able to concentrate."
"One plane ticket coming up, first thing tomorrow."
Edward was perturbed. It irritated him to no end that he'd been unable to pick
Bella up from the airport. They wanted to do this on their own terms, and the paps
had an uncanny ability of taking control of the situation. He sent a car for her. Then
he'd only gotten a fraction of the kisses he wanted before the stylists he'd hired
pried her from his grasp. They'd whisked her off to shop. Then he'd only glimpsed
her when they got back. The stylists would not let him see her.
"You'll be glad you waited," one of them, Edward thought his name might be Eric,
said.
That left him pacing downstairs like an abandoned prom date until finally, she
appeared.
He had to admit Eric was right. It was a perfect, surreal moment straight out of
every cliche movie. She appeared at the top of the steps and stole his breath. The
stylists hadn't bothered to hide her obvious youth behind fake elegance. Her dress
was short and sassy. Her hair was up in a simple twist. Her makeup was subtle, her
cheeks and lips pink.
"You're so perfect," he said as he extended a hand for hers.
Her eyes raked over him. "Jesus Christ you look good in a suit. Are you sure we
have to go?"
"Baby cakes, you are going to that party." Eric shook his head and leaned against
the other stylist, admiring their work. "It's been a pleasure, really. Flawless skin.
Big, beautiful eyes, and those lips…" He whistled.
Bella ducked her head, shy but pleased.
"Thank you," Edward said to them, though he didn't take his eyes off her. He
brought her hand hand to his lips. "Are you ready?"
She laughed. "No, but let's go anyway."
- 144 -
The limo drive was short, and too soon, they were pulled up to the screaming
crowd.
"Oh, God." Bella tugged at her dress for the thousandth time.
Edward squeezed her hand one last time before he got out of the limo. As he was
accustomed to, he grinned wide and waved to the fans. The pitch of the screams
rose. Then he turned back and offered his hand to Bella. She looked sallow. He
wrapped his arm around her, stroking her back as he held her steady. He pulled her
close to him so he could murmur in her ear.
"Look at me." He cupped her cheek and tried to get her to tilt her face up, but she
refused. "You're fine. Everything's fine."
Her breath was erratic. "I feel like I'm going to be sick."
"Breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth." He stroked her
cheek. "Deep breaths."
She closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths. He found her hand and
squeezed reassuringly. Her palms were sweaty. "Okay. I'm okay."
"Are you sure?"
She nodded. Her hand was still clammy in his, but she didn't look as sickly. She
was jittery though, and her attention was drawn to the shouting fans and camera
people. There were a lot of flashes going off. He'd prepared her as much as he
could, but there was a huge difference between describing the scene and living it.
"Look at me," he said again. This time, she did. "You're going to follow the handler.
She's going to take you in the theater. There aren't any cameras there. I'll be in as
quick as I can. Half an hour at most." He stroked her cheek. "Okay?"
She squeezed his fingers. "Okay."
"Can I kiss you?"
That coaxed a smile from her. "Yeah."
He did. It was a soft, chaste kiss, and when he pulled back, she seemed much
calmer. "I love you," he said.
"I love you."
- 145 -
He was reluctant to let her go, but he wanted her away from the screaming as
quickly as possible. He watched her as she was lead away and smiled when she
looked over her shoulder. She stood up straighter. She was amazing, he reflected.
She had to be intimidated, but she'd gotten control of herself quickly.
"Mr. Cullen. This way."
Edward nodded at the handler and put on his business smile. He walked to the
fans and began to sign autographs.
By the time he got to the cameramen, they were ravenous.
"That was Isabella Swan, wasn't it, Edward?"
"That was more than a friendly kiss."
Edward smirked at them, blinded as usual by the flashing lights.
"Nothing to say, Edward?"
"She played hard to get, huh?"
"Are we done here?" Edward asked the handler.
The man gestured to the line of reporters. Edward took a deep breath.
The, "I'm just here to support my future co-star. I'm excited about our new
project," line didn't work for long.
"Really, Edward. You came with Isabella Swan. Last we spoke, you said you were
just friends."
Edward gave the reporter his most cheeky grin. "Things change."
"Wow, man, she's… pretty young."
Edward shrugged, as though it didn't concern him. Really, it was none of their
business if it did or didn't. "The heart wants what the heart wants."
"It's serious then?"
"Very much so." He clapped the man on the shoulder. "It's good to see you. I'm
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going to get out of here so you can talk to Robert Downey over there." He nodded
his head to where the superstar was headed in their direction.
The process repeated over and over and over. Edward was tense and exhausted by
the time he finally made it to the theater.
"You got balls, Edward." Alistair Deas, another actor, thumped him on the back.
"Good on ya, mate. Can I meet her?" He waggled his eyebrows.
Edward flexed his fists and reminded himself that Alistair was a nice guy; Edward
was just in a bad mood. "At the party," he promised.
He went into the auditorium then and found Bella. He hugged her. Neither of
them spoke. She didn't ask how it went. They both knew their story was out, and it
would be everywhere soon. There was nothing else to be said.
He took a deep breath and pulled back, kissing her cheek.
The rest of the night went as could be expected. He introduced her around as
much as he could before the lights went down. He could tell when she was
starstruck, but she held her own. During the movie, he held her hand and when that
wasn't enough, he stroked her thigh.
The party was another story. Most people were nice. Some seemed surprised
when they saw her with him, saw how he held her hand and kissed her cheek. But
Bella was smart and engaging.
She told Robert Downey Jr. he was too old for her and winked at him. He threw
his head back and laughed. "I like her," he told Edward.
Tanya was at the party, and though Edward greeted her warmly, her stare was
cold. Her eyes flicked to Bella and back. "I thought you were better than that."
As much as the comment bothered him, Edward knew damn well there was
nothing he could say that would erase the facts. Bella was half his age, and people
were going to have their opinions. "We're both happy," he said with a shrug, and
then he walked away, back to where Bella was talking with a casting agent. The
agent was trying to get her to come in for a screen test. He tilted his head as if to
say, 'I told you so'.
For the most part, it was more fun than he'd had at a party in at least a decade.
Watching Bella as she grew more comfortable with the environment, the people,
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made him proud and smitten all over again.
They cut out early. That was the worst part - the walk from the venue to the
waiting car. The paps converged. Edward kept Bella tucked under his arm, close to
him, but they still touched her. They still shouted some fairly vile insinuations that
he could not protect her from. He helped her into the back of the limo and held her
tightly, hating that they were ending the night as it had begun - with her shaking in
fear in his arms.
"That fucking sucked. Are they always like that?"
"They're always a pain in the ass, but they're not always so aggressive." He shook
his head. "I should have thought to hire a bodyguard."
Bella laughed - a sound without any humor. "Is this real life?" she asked with a
groan.
Edward nuzzled the side of her hair. "Regretting us yet?"
She raised her head. "No. Never." She took a steadying breath and splayed her
hands over his chest. "Totally worth it."
He kissed her then. He was still kissing her when they got home. It took all his
willpower not to rip her clothes off before they got in the door. As it was, they left a
trail up the stairs and down his hallway. He laid her down in the middle of his bed.
He sunk into her and let every other person in the world fade away.
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The Deluge
The night before she went back to Seattle, Edward had pulled Bella down onto his
lap. He brushed his nose along her cheek. He pulled back and caressed her face as
he spoke.
"It's going to be worse than it was after the arcade. It won't be as bad for you in
Seattle, but they will find you. We already talked about the rules they have to follow,
but they're going to try to get under your skin, Bella. They're going to spin the truth
and say things about that will make you doubt."
"Never," Bella said.
He only smiled. "Talk to them, don't talk to them... that's up to you." He took her
hands and pressed it to his heart. "I love you. That's real. This is real. Whatever
anyone tries to tell you about why I'm with you, please just remember it is only
because I love you. Because you're amazing, and I'm happier than I can ever
remember being."
It started out innocently enough.
As soon as Bella got home, she headed straight for the stairs, avoiding her aunt
and uncle entirely. Alice was smarter. Alice was waiting for her in her room,
vibrating with excitement.
"Omigod, Bella. I saw you at the premiere. Where on Earth did you get that dress?
Did you know you were in the style watch polls?"
Bella blinked. "I what?"
Alice grabbed her laptop and spun it around. Sure enough, there was Bella in her
sassy dress, picked apart by the fashion experts. With hundreds of comments
underneath.
Bella sat down on the edge of her bed, feeling dizzy.
"No, Bella, it's okay. You did really well. I'm so proud of you. See?" She pointed to
one of the judges.
- 149 -
Well, if Edward Cullen was going to rob the cradle, at least he chose a teenager
with taste. Nothing's worse than the lazy look we get from the little girl set these
days.
Bella felt sick. For a few seconds, her head swam. So far, she'd gone out of her
way to make sure she was wearing something that at least passed as cute when
there was a chance she would be caught out with Edward. In general though, her
fashion would probably considered the lazy look at best.
"Wouldn't it be funny if you became known for your fashion sense?" Alice laughed.
Bella didn't think it would be funny at all.
Fashion, though, was the least of Bella's problems.
That Tuesday, the few pictures that were snapped of her with Edward at the red
carpet and then again at the after party were all over every tabloid.
Monday she caught a few whispers, a few people looking her way as she went
from class to class. She knew the pictures from the premiere were making the
rounds on the Internet. Jessica grabbed her before one class and said, "Oh, my God,
Bella. Oh. My. God."
Lauren asked if he was any good in bed.
But Tuesday, all hell broke loose.
Bella's one and only plan was to weather the storm. She was cocky about it. After
making it through the premiere unscathed, despite the fact she'd been scared out of
her mind, she'd been sure she could face anything. After she and Edward appeared
all over the tabloids, it didn't take long for Bella to be knocked on her ass.
That Tuesday was a revelation. Somehow, reporters had gotten ahold of her cell
phone number. Between them and her friends, the phone buzzed off the hook. At
school, whispers followed her wherever she went. Guys leered. Girls either stared in
awe or glared in judgement.
The bolder ones asked questions or made comments. They ranged from the
innocent:
- 150 -
"Wow, what's he like?"
"Hah, I knew you were lying that one time. Good for you."
"Are you going to move to California now?"
"Can we meet him?"
To the not so innocent:
"What do you have to do to keep a man like Edward Cullen happy?"
"What the heck are you doing back in Seattle? If I had a man like him, I'd never
leave the bed."
"Is he hung? I've always wondered."
To the downright infuriating:
"You really think he's going to stay faithful to you when he's got much prettier
women all around him?"
"Hey, baby. I have some money. Is that what it takes to get you? I'll bet you give
the best blow job."
"You're a whore."
"He's your uncle, isn't he? That's incest. Did he touch you when you were little?"
And that was just her peers.
By the time she got home, Bella was shaking from nerves. She jumped a mile high
when Alice pounced on her the instant she was in the door.
"My uncle is flipping out," she said, handing Bella her phone.
Edward answered on the first ring. "Did you find her, Alice?"
"It's me," Bella said.
He breathed a sigh of relief. "You scared me. Your phone was off."
- 151 -
"Yeah. It's been pretty much ringing off the hook. I had to turn it off, or it was
going to explode."
"That good, huh?"
She sighed. "It's fine. It's going to be fine. How was it for you?"
"Just as I expected, but I have a publicist who fields all my calls. What about the
paps? Did any follow you there?"
"There was one on Monday, and two others got in my face today. It's not too bad.
What about you?"
"They were fun today." His tone was dry. She could read the anger he was
suppressing.
"I don't get it. We're a thousand miles apart. What could they possibly want to
take a picture of?"
He was quiet for a handful of seconds before he sighed. "They want to get a
picture of you crying or me out with another woman. They want something they can
skew a story off of."
Bella banged her head against the wall and stared up at the ceiling. "Even this
isn't enough, is it?"
"For them? Never. It's never enough. I'm sorry, Bella. I wish I was there."
"I wish you were, too."
And worse.
Edward and Bella were the topic of much discussion. Someone was forever
forwarding her articles where the same photos of them together at the premiere and
afterparty were dissected. Reporters and Internet bloggers alike dredged up old
interviews where Edward commented on how much he enjoyed being single.
Not all of the nitpicking was bad. A body language expert examined the limited
footage of them together combined with the pictures from both the premiere and the
arcade before that were put under the microscope.
- 152 -
The expert, a Marcus Amorosa, pronounced that whatever else was going on,
Edward was genuinely in love with her.
"No, this is no mere infatuation. This isn't about sex. Look at the way their bodies
are angled toward each other, how in each picture, they seem to be moving in
tandem. His smile is gentle, not leering. He's not trying to seduce her. I know love
when I see it, and this is love."
For the most part, though, the talk was not kind. Some were indulgent - a star
heading toward middle age, a young girl being courted by Hollywood royalty, who
could blame either of them - but some of the major news outlets began to run
specials with horrifying implications.
They used Edward and Bella's relationship as a jumping off point for stories about
other couples like them: friends of the family who showed an interest in a younger
man or woman once they came of age. They talked about relationship age gaps, the
maturity of teenagers in serious relationships, and the possibility Edward might
have taken advantage of her when she was too young to fight back.
Brainwashed Baby? one tabloid asked in an opinion piece with Bella's picture on
it.
Edward did make it to Seattle once for a four day weekend before he had to start
filming.
"I know we talked about you coming to the set, and you still can, if you want," he
said.
"But?"
"But… I know the paps and questions are bad enough here. Hollywood is the lion's
den. I'm ready for it if you are, but I can't help but wonder if we want to throw them
the bait they've been looking for - pictures of us together again - right now."
It had made a lot of sense when he said it, and Bella didn't push. The next
weekend that they would have been together, there were pictures of Edward out to
lunch with another of his costars, Heidi Bertolucci.
"Wake up, little girl," said a pap who'd shoved the photos in her face. "You really
think a man like him is just friends with that."
Heidi was one of the most beautiful women Bella had ever seen, and she knew it.
- 153 -
"She's no mousy little college twit, eh?"
Bella tried to tell herself she knew fact from fiction. Every day, no matter how
tired he was from filming, Edward found time to call her. They talked. They Skyped.
He told her everything. He'd told her about lunch with Heidi. It was just that - lunch.
Still, despite her best efforts, Bella began to question.
Edward wanted her with him for the premiere of the movie he'd shot some months
before, but Bella had midterms to complete. That night, he was snapped coming out
of the premiere party with another one of his lovely costars. He had his hand to the
small of her back as they walked side by side.
Again, Edward told her first, before any of the photos came out, that he'd hung
out with his costars that night and left the party early. Despite the fact they'd talked
at length after the party, Bella couldn't block out the voices all around her.
Concerned "friends" who offered their condolences when the tabs made it sound
like Edward had been flirting with the woman. Others snickered at her. Reporters
called her for comments.
"You don't believe the tabs, right, Bella?" Edward asked a few days later when
they Skyped.
"Of course not."
"Something's wrong." He was frowning.
"Nothing's wrong."
"You're hardly looking at me."
Bella rubbed a hand over her eyes, wondering why she felt like crying. She felt
like crying a lot these days. "I'm just stressed. It's just these tests."
"You weren't this stressed last semester."
And because he knew how to read her so well, he showed up on the campus that
Friday after her last midterm. Bella felt horrible for doubting him.
He took her to dinner and then back to his hotel where he cuddled her close.
- 154 -
"I know something's wrong," he said as he pressed gentle kisses about her face.
"You can tell me anything, Bella. In fact, if this is going to work, you need to tell
me."
So she did. She told him how she knew, deep in her heart she knew he loved her,
she knew what was real, but it was so, so difficult not to doubt. He was far away. He
was surrounded by people with whom he worked intimately and spent so many more
hours a day with than he did with her. They lived the same surreal life he did, and
she was just some dumb college kid.
"When you hear over and over and over and over that there has to be something
going on, it's hard not to consider it, you know?"
He was quiet for a long time. His eyes were focused on some space beyond her,
and his hands had stopped moving through her hair. "This is so much harder than it
should be, Bella. It's exhausting."
Bella's breath caught. He sounded so sad.
"Long distance relationships are difficult by themselves, and what we have to deal
with… We're not going to make it."
Bella rolled away from him to sit up on the bed. Her head was spinning, her heart
was racing, and her throat was closed off. She wanted to scream and beg, but she
didn't have the energy.
"Duckling, look at me."
She shook her head. It was a childish thing to do, but as much as she wanted to be
a grown, strong woman, she felt anything but right then.
"Bella." He sounded horrified. Bella was ashamed, but she couldn't look at him.
She heard the shift of the bed as he stood and walked to her side. He cupped her
cheek, but she flinched away. He knelt before her, his hands on her knees. Bella
closed her eyes. "Bella, please. Listen to me. Just listen."
She didn't open her eyes, but she stayed still. She didn't recoil when he brushed
away the tears that had fought their way passed her closed eyelids.
"I'm trying to say I want to come here. To stay."
Her head snapped up. "What?"
- 155 -
"I want to live here."
"With my aunt and uncle?" Her brain wasn't working right yet.
His lips quirked upward as he tried not to laugh. "Your aunt would kill me." He
smiled as he caressed her cheeks, her chin, her neck. "I mean I want to find a place
to live here in Seattle, so I can see you almost every day."
Bella stared. "You... you're not trying to break up with me?"
"God no. No, Bella." He laughed without humor. "You know every day I'm
consumed with the fear this will just get too hard. It was one thing talking about it,
another thing living it, isn't it?"
"Yeah." Bella sniffled. "I'm sorry. I'm an idiot."
"No." He pushed to his feet and sat beside her, wrapping an arm around her.
"You're not an idiot. You're just scared. I am, too. There's no getting around the fact
our situation is precarious. We do have the cards stacked against us."
"That's what Aunt Rose said." Bella rested her head against his shoulder.
"Well, she's right about that. Where she's wrong is that we're going to make it,
Bella. That's why I'd like to find a place here. If it's okay with you."
"But you work in L.A. I mean… usually. And you have such a full schedule this
year."
"Not anymore."
Bella raised her head. "What happened?"
"Nothing. I took a step back from a few projects, that's all."
She studied him and shook her head. "That's not all."
He grimaced. "The Disney flick I was signed up for They asked me to step down.
The other one I left was entirely by choice."
Bella groaned. "That's not fair, though. This is exactly what I didn't want. I didn't
want your work to be affected by us."
- 156 -
"I didn't want you to have to struggle the way you are with everyone's opinions,
and paps, and people who will never know you, who will never understand how
incredible you are, tearing you to pieces. I didn't want Emmett and Rose to have
their friends judging them for letting me near you at all when you weren't an adult
yet." He shook his head and shifted so he was facing her. "Bella, it's not a big deal. It
really isn't. There's no shortage of people who want to work with me."
"But if you wanted to do that movie-"
"I want to do a lot of things, Bella. Projects fall apart for all kinds of reasons. This
is nothing."
"I don't want to make it harder for you to work."
He took her face in his hands. "And I don't want to make it harder for us to be
together. I choose us, and let's be honest. Maybe it's a little bit of a pain in the ass to
fly down to L.A. when I need to, but I have the means. I have the means to keep both
houses. It's a small inconvenience, not a struggle, and if it makes it easier for us to
stay together, I choose us."
Bella closed her eyes again in relief this time as a huge weight lifted from her
shoulders. She wrapped her arms around his neck and clung to him. "I love you. I
love you so much."
- 157 -
Stay
It took Edward several groggy minutes to figure out someone was pounding on his
door. He'd left the Do Not Disturb sign up. It was a safe bet that whomever was so
eager to be in his room wasn't a member of the hotel staff. It might be his manager,
but then she would have called first. That left…
Sure enough. When Edward peered through the peephole, he wasn't surprised to
see his sister-in-law's face. He rested his forehead against the door and groaned. He
counted to ten before he opened it. He didn't say a word, and neither did Rosalie.
After an awkward moment, he stepped to the side to let her in.
After he'd closed the door, he and Rosalie faced off. He sighed and rubbed his
eyes. "Say what you need to say, Rose."
Her shoulders slumped, and she crossed her arms over her chest. "Why are you
doing this?"
"That is a question with a very obvious answer."
"You're making it worse. You're going to make it so much worse for her."
Edward took a deep breath to swallow down his annoyance. "You think moving
closer to her is making things worse?"
"You're digging her hole deeper. She's already going to be devastated when you
get bored of whatever game you're playing."
"What?" Edward balled his fists at his side and flexed. "Rose, I'll take you thinking
I'm not good enough for her. I understand I'm complicating her life, but-"
"Complicating her life? Complicating her life? Do you realize what the last few
months of her life have been like? People digging at her, and I'm not even talking
about the reporters and the stupid asshole photographers. Her friends, other kids
her age are either endlessly pestering her about you or calling her a whore for
having got your attention. She pretends she's fine with it. She thinks I can't tell
when she's about to cry."
"You think I don't know all that? Rosalie, I know how hard it's been on her. That's
why I'm moving here, because I'm not going to let her deal with it alone."
- 158 -
"If you move here, it only guarantees more tears." Rosalie huffed. "I raised her,
Edward. I don't like things that make my daughter cry. And you know I've never
gone out of my way to shelter her. Life is painful; there's no point in pretending it
isn't, but you're my husband's brother. You held her when she was a baby. You're
not supposed to be the one who hurts her."
Edward threw his hands up. "What is it going to take to get you to realize I am not
trying to hurt her? As if I would. As if I could. You've known me for as long a you've
known Emmett. Why-"
"Exactly. I know you. One thing about you has never changed. Since we were all
kids, all Bella's age, what was the one thing about you that remained the same?
Always the perpetual bachelor. Emmett and I waited for you to get an attachment to
one of the women you dated, but you never did. How many times did you tell us you
had better things to do?"
"How many times do I have to tell you, I wasn't looking for this. It found me. I've
changed. Everything has changed."
"The thing is, Edward, I don't think you have. See, I knew from the time I was tiny
I wanted to be a wife. I wanted a doting husband. I wanted kids. You were the exact
opposite, and I never understood, but I also appreciated the fact you weren't a pig
about it. You do respect the women you're with. You talk about them respectfully. I
think you've always chosen partners who intrigue you. I've been around your
girlfriends before. You're a generous lover, they say. You understand. You listen.
Genuinely, you enjoy these women for more than sex. I can't say I've ever
understood the idea of casual girlfriends, but I've always appreciated that you made
sure you were both on the same page, and the minute you were on different pages,
that was the end of that.
"What I want to know is what makes you think you're any different with Bella?
She's amazing, and now that she's legal, you can look at her that way. But she's
Bella. You know casual sex is probably not going to enter into the equation for her."
Edward stared at his sister-in-law. "Do you actually believe the horseshit you're
spewing right now? Do you actually think I'm putting us both through all this,
moving here, doing everything because that's the only way I can keep her in my
bed?"
Rosalie looked right back at him. "I think you're used to being generous to your
lovers, and I think you know them well enough to give them what they want. I think
you believe you're in love with her, that a part of your base personality has changed.
- 159 -
But I think, after being single all your life, the novelty Bella presents will wear off.
And you know, that's fine. That's what first loves are for. But you're not just her first
love. This could destroy so much more."
"Look, Rose, I could argue with you until I'm blue in the face about how that's not
going to happen, but you haven't listened yet, so I have no reason to think you'll
listen now. Okay, here it is. I might hurt her. Is that what you want to hear?
"But the thing is, you're definitely hurting her. What's tearing her apart more than
anything right now is the way you're treating her. She is getting judged by literally
thousands of people all around the world, and she can't turn to the woman who
raised her for unconditional love and support. You are hurting her so bad, Rose. I've
tried not to say anything, because I get it. I understand you're worried and
disappointed, but don't you dare talk to me like you aren't ripping her apart."
Rosalie looked stricken. She opened her mouth, but Edward wasn't done yet.
"You're right. You raised her. You raised her to be strong and smart. I can't
guarantee what will happen between us in the future. I can't guarantee we're going
to make it, because you're also right that we have a lot of obstacles in our way. What
I can guarantee is I will work my ass off to make sure she's cherished and happy. As
long as she chooses me, I'm not going to take that gift for granted. But she still
needs her mother, Rose. She still needs you and Emmett. I am not leaving her. I
wish you wouldn't either."
For once, Rosalie was quiet. Edward sighed. "I think what you were trying to say
earlier is if Bella and I don't work out, it's not just a boyfriend she would lose. You're
my family, and you're her family. But think about it this way, Rosalie. This is
happening. If you make her feel unwelcome with your family, right now, that's on
you, not me."
Rosalie raised her eyes to glare at him, but still, she said nothing. She tried a few
times. She opened her mouth, but each time she closed it again.
Finally, she walked back out his door without saying a word.
"Celebrities are just like us. They ask their friends to help them move." Garrett
grunted as he walked backward with his half of the sofa they were trying to
maneuver around Edward's new house. "Even though they damn well could have
hired someone to do this shit."
- 160 -
"Garrett, you're helping me move a couch, not a whole house." Edward smirked at
his friend over the couch. "Everything was delivered. It's just the rearranging we
have to do by ourselves."
"Not there, boys. I want it up against that wall," Esme said.
Beside her, Alice mirrored her cross-armed look of exasperation. "It's like we're
the only ones with vision, Grams."
When the room was arranged to Esme's liking, Edward flopped down on the
couch, exhausted. His mother came to sit with him, and he rested his head on her
shoulder. She scratched his hair like she used to do when he was a little boy.
"Thanks, Mom. You always know how to make a house a home."
"I'd say anytime, sweetie, but I'm not sure how many houses one man needs."
He raised his head. "Mom, you've always been supportive of me and Emmett and
our decisions, but I want you to tell me the truth. This whole thing with Bella and
me… what do you really think?"
Esme hummed as she considered her answer. "I think life rarely happens in any
way that makes sense. I worry for you both, but that's nothing new." She touched his
cheek and smiled. "Are you happy?"
Edward's lips turned up. "Deliriously."
"You know you've even started enjoying your work again."
"It's different now that I have someone to share it with. I come home, and even
over the phone, it's easier to be excited when Bella's excited. She's proud of me."
His mother patted his hand. "She's very young, but she knows how to be a good
partner. That's important for longevity in a relationship. That's something most
people learn only through mistakes." She kissed his cheek. "You're a good man, and
she's a lovely girl. I have faith it will work out, if it's meant to. As long as you're
happy, I'm not going to complain just because something's complicated."
They were interrupted by the door opening. "Honey, I'm home," Bella called.
Edward gave his mother one last squeeze before he got up and all but sprinted to
the foyer. There, he picked Bella up, bags and all, and spun her around.
- 161 -
"Hey, watch it! I come bearing dinner." She giggled as he set her back on her feet.
"I have enough food in here to feed the legions."
The legions joined them then. Garrett, Carlisle, Esme, Alice, and Renee had all
showed up to help Edward get his house in order. Garrett kissed Bella's cheek as he
took the bags from her. "Ah, Bella. Don't let anyone tell you you're the lucky one.
You're a catch."
Edward encircled her in his arms and pulled her away from Garrett. "Get your
own."
A few minutes later they were gathered around the dining room table, unwrapping
subs.
"I don't get it," Alice said. "Mom and Dad are being a pain in the ass. Why
wouldn't you just move in here? I wouldn't mind that… being with my guy all the
time."
"Oh, don't start that, Alice," Carlisle said without malice.
Edward reached over and took Bella's hand, giving it a squeeze. She was blushing,
not so far away from being the sixteen-year-old her cousin was, still affected by her
grandparents' admonition. "Um," she said. "That's kind of a big step, you know?"
"Because moving all the way up here isn't?"
"Bit of a difference, Alice. Just because we don't want to be in a long distance
relationship doesn't mean we're ready to move in together," Edward said.
Garrett grinned at Alice. "A little space isn't a bad thing, sugar."
Alice didn't look convinced, but she let it go.
Edward squirmed with impatience. Bella was saying goodbye to her mother -
Renee was going back with Alice to Emmett and Rosalie's house - and Edward was
eager to have her to himself. He tapped the arm of the sofa, listening to what had to
be the third time Renee said, "Well, I guess I'll get going then."
Finally, he heard the door close and Bella's footfalls heading toward him. He tried
to play it cool, but he had to grab the edge of the couch not to attack her right there.
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He was hungry for her, but he felt foolish. It was silly he should feel so elated at the
idea of being closer to her. They could build a life together now.
When Bella entered the living room and saw him her face lit up. Her steps fell
quicker, and he opened his arms. She straddled him there on the couch, her hands
going to his face and his looping around her. He rubbed her back as his tongue
slipped in her mouth. She whimpered. The little noise sent a thrill through him. He
bucked his hips up and sighed.
He had his doubts. He wasn't impervious to the accusations being hurled at him. It
was true he moved to Seattle for Bella, but he'd also done it for himself. Too many
days had passed without her, and even her voice on the phone or computer wouldn't
chase away the doubt that started to creep in around the edges of his heart. Had he
taken advantage of her? Was she too immature? Was he fooling himself?
But holding her in his arms, the contented joy in his heart could not be doubted.
Their love was true. What he felt for her was honest. This wasn't only in his head or
hers.
Edward broke their kiss so he could look her in the eyes. "I love you."
Her smile never failed to make his heart skip a beat. "I love you, too." Her hands
were soft against his cheeks. "I'm glad you're here."
They kissed again, soft kisses now. Languorous.
"Did your mom give you any last minute advice, tell you to run as far away from
me as you can?" he asked when they broke for air again.
She trailed kisses along his jaw. "You really want to talk about my mom right
now?"
"No, but I am curious. I couldn't get a read on where she stands with us."
Bella straightened up. "She's okay with it."
"Really? I thought of everyone, she'd be against you settling down so early."
"No. She and Aunt Rose had a fight about it actually. Aunt Rose wanted her to be
a mother for once. Renee said the best choice she'd ever made as a mother was
leaving me with Rose. She said Rose could teach me everything I needed except for
one thing. She wanted to teach me that having what you want takes bravery. It
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means taking a chance. She said she didn't want me to have her life; she just didn't
want me to play it safe." She kissed the tip of his nose. "Besides, let's get real here.
It's not like life with you isn't going to be short on adventure.
He threaded his fingers into her hair and kissed her again. "Baby, we can do
anything." His hands followed the line of her hair to her shoulders her back. He
pulled her tighter against him. "You'll stay tonight?"
"Afraid of the dark in your big new house, little boy?"
"That must be it." He undid the button of her jeans and slid his hands under her
shirt. "So you'll stay?"
"Yes. I'll stay."
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Epilogue - Not So Suddenly
~Five Years Later~
"Why is this so important to you?" Bella asked, exasperated. "It's a college
graduation."
"Your last college graduation," Edward said.
"You don't know that. I might go back to school forever." She crossed her arms.
"What's so great about walking across a stage to receive a piece of paper I already
earned? No one can take it away from me. It would just turn into a media frenzy."
"Fuck them. I've told you a million times I don't want you to miss out on things you
don't have to miss out on just because some asshole will be waiting to take your
picture. A lot of people will be taking pictures."
"It's not that big of a deal to me."
"Well, maybe it's a big deal to me. And what about your dad?"
Bella's back stiffened. She turned to glare at Edward.
When the tabloids started digging into her background, trying to find whatever
fucked up stories they could, they had discovered Bella's surname didn't match her
mother's. It was a long, convoluted process, but Bella's long lost father surfaced. He
was a cop named, as her mother had promised, Charlie Swan, who had lived his
entire life in a tiny town four hours away from where Bella grew up. He was a good
man, thrilled to have a daughter but way out of his element. "That's not fair."
"You know he'd love to see you walk the stage."
"So would every other person's dad. My classmates will resent me for
overshadowing their achievements. It's happened before. All eyes will be on me and
you. It's not fair to them."
Edward opened his mouth and quickly shut it again. "You're right."
He looked so genuinely disappointed, Bella felt bad. She sat beside him and pulled
his head down to her shoulder. He sighed as he wrapped his arm around her. "I
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don't understand. Why is this so important to you?" she asked, threading her fingers
through his hair. "You're usually so careful any place there'll be cameras, and you
want to walk into that one?"
"You're always there for me. Every premiere, every award show. There's a picture
of you in the audience or by my side looking so proud. I want to be the one in the
audience for once, Bella. I want to celebrate you. I want the world to know how
talented and amazing you are."
She tilted his head up to look at her. "You want the world to see you as the
supportive boyfriend."
He winced. "You always see through me, don't you? I'm not as impervious to all
the hoopla about our lives as I'd like to think. If we have to live so in the spotlight,
sometimes I wish there was just one picture out there that proves I'm supportive of
you. I'm proud of you. It would be nice if people saw that, I think."
"You take good care of me. You know that, right? Everyone who matters knows
that."
He closed his eyes and nudged her cheek with the tip of his nose. "Yes. I know. I'm
sorry. You're right. It's not important. We'll celebrate with the family. Maybe
Garrett."
"That sounds nice. Simple. I like simple."
He scoffed. "I guess that means you must not like me as much as you claim to."
"You're lucky I love you."
"That I am."
"You're impossible. You just can't help yourself, can you?"
Edward studied Bella's face to gauge how much trouble he was in. "It's a
compromise. You finished a Bachelor and a Master's degrees in five years. You
deserve to be recognized. And your fellow students deserve to not have us
overshadow their achievements."
"So you rented our own auditorium," Bella finished.
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"Of course I did."
"You didn't rent the Dean, did you?"
"Well…"
"Edward!"
"What? I didn't, but that doesn't mean you won't get a guy acting like a Dean."
"You paid someone to act like a Dean?"
"I know actors and screenwriters. Ones who like you. I didn't even have to pay
them." He laughed when Bella banged her head on his shoulder. "Garrett is going to
perform a combination of Steve Jobs and John Green's graduation speeches. It was
his idea. Really." He kissed her forehead. "I can't help that everyone loves you." He
cupped her face so he could kiss her properly. "And no one loves you more than I
do."
"I believe you."
The party afterward was filled with friends and family. Edward retreated to get
Bella a new drink when Garrett caught up with him. "I was thinking of becoming one
of the tabloids anonymous sources in the Cullen camp."
"I see. What are you going to tell them?"
"I'm going to set the record straight. You did this for good reasons. They're going
to spin it, you know. They're going to make it seem like you and/or Bella were too
good to play with the normal kids."
"Fuck the tabloids. I don't care why they think I did this."
Garrett gave him a sad smile. "Do you think there will ever be a point when we
actually don't care at all what the public thinks and says about us?"
"Probably not. At least they've stopped calling me a predator and Bella a twit.
They've moved on to bugging me about how old I am. When are we going to get
married, have kids." He shook his head. "It's like my mother, except far more
annoying."
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"Tick tock and all that. You don't want to be an old geezer dad."
"I'm going to be forty-one in a few days. That's not ancient. That's if we decide to
have kids."
Garrett held his hands up in a placating motion. "Hey, man. I'm most definitely not
your mother. Have babies. Don't have babies. I'm not changing any diapers anyway."
"Who's having a baby? God help me, Edward, if Bella is pregnant, I'm kicking
your… Uh. Yeah." Rosalie came up to them with her three-year-old grandson, Peter,
at her hip. She spared a rueful glance at him before she glared up at Edward. "So?"
"No one's pregnant, Rose." Edward smiled at Peter and held his arms out. The boy
scrambled for him. "Why? So what if she was?"
Rosalie's glare softened, and she reached over to ruffle Peter's hair. "Ah, what the
heck do I know, anyway? You and Bella have made it this far, after all. She loves it
down here in California. She's made her peace with the photographers getting in
your business. She finished school. Twice. My daughter didn't. My daughter had a
baby when she was still eighteen. Despite the fact I was sure it was going to end
horribly, it didn't. Alice and Jasper are still together, in love, and they're good
parents. I almost ruined my relationship with both my girls, and they're both doing
just fine." She bumped his arm. "So I guess I'd be fine with it. It might be fun to see
Renee react to being a grandma."
"What are we talking about? And where's my drink?" Bella came to join them.
Edward grinned and handed her the jack and coke he'd gotten before he was
distracted. Once she took the drink, he took her hand. "Rosalie was giving us
permission to procreate."
"Am I pregnant again? I've lost count of how many times I've been pregnant."
"Who's pregnant? Are you pregnant?" Emmett joined the party. "You shouldn't be
drinking if you're pregnant. Here. I'll help." He snatched her drink from her hands
and drained it in a few gulps.
"I am not pregnant."
"Who's pregnant. You're not pregnant. Are you pregnant?" Renee came over with
a lost looking Charlie trailing her.
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"No. Argh." Bella looked at Edward. "You see this? This is how rumors get started.
Everyone is an anonymous source."
"I say we get snapped walking into a swanky baby store."
She grabbed him by the edges of his jacket and pulled him to her. "Don't give up
your day job, Cullen. You'd make a lousy tabloid writer, but you're a mostly decent
actor."
"Mostly decent?" He wrapped his arms around her and tilted his head close to
hers. "I have an Oscar, you know."
"I know. You thanked me, remember?"
"You made me take the part."
"You were amazing."
"Because of you."
Someone cleared their throat, and Edward looked over to find his brother staring
at them with his arms crossed. "We're all still here. We haven't left."
Edward smirked and kissed Bella anyway.
~The End~
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