background image

THE BRITISH SCREENWRITING 

INSTITUTE

presents

Intermediate Screenwriting

© Copyright 1999 by Alex Epstein

By

Alex Epstein

More powerful thoughts and feelings about screenwriting by a very talented American Writer. If 

you would like more information about him, visit his informative and entertaining web site at 

http://www.loop.com/~musofire/

© The British Screenwriting institute. 2000-03-02. You may freely distribute this eBook  on line, 

upload it to newsgroups, or give it away. (Providing the contact and copyright information is kept 

intact)

Write to us at  scripts@gofree.indigo.ie or visit our website at

http://www.thebritishscreenwritinginstitute.co.uk

background image

Screenwriting is a Craft, not Art

Screenwriting isn't an art, it's a craft. Artists create to please 

themselves, or so everybody tells us. Craftsmen create according to other 
people's specifications
, stated or unstated, but aren't happy unless they 
please themselves, too. I think of screenwriting as fine cabinetry. A cabinet 
must hold clothes. The drawers have to go in and out smoothly. The two 
side of the locks must line up evenly. The knobs shouldn't fall off. But a 
cabinet should also be a thing of beauty. The proportions should be right, 
the curves satisfying. A fine cabinet can be spare or ornate, saying different 
things about the room it's in. 

Similarly, a movie has to entertain, but it should also carry a theme, a 

subtext, a unique shape or form; it can experiment; it can create beauty. If 
you make your movie only to please yourself, good luck getting financing; 
but if you make it only to please others, why not get an honest job? Or to 
paraphrase the great Rabbi Hillel, "If I am not for myself, who am I? If am 
not for others, what am I?" 

Why do people go to the movies, anyway? Terentius Publius said the 

purpose of oratory was ut docere, ut delectate, ut movere, to teach, to 
delight, to move. Although the filmmaker may make his film as propaganda, 
hidden or otherwise, people rarely go to the movies to be moved to do 
something. They go to be delighted, and to be taught. Films delight when 
they take you somewhere you haven't been before and introduce you to 
people you either haven't met before, or would like to be with, or would like 
to be. They also delight when they put you vicariously in a situation where 
the stakes are much higher than they seem to be in your own life. 

Films teach when they explain the inner workings of other people - by 

making their characters transparent, they give you insight into the real 
people in your life - maybe even give you insight into yourself. 
A film that delights or teaches, or preferably both, is moving in the other 
sense: it pulls your heartstrings. It reminds you of what's important. It raises 
the stakes in your own life, or rather, helps you remember what the stakes 
really are. Everybody dies, and almost everyone's afraid of death, but most 
people live as if they're just trying to get through life. The heightened reality 
of a film brings out the hero, the lover, the magician, the child in your heart. 
If your screenplay isn't delightful and doesn't give insight, it's a waste of 
trees. 

In theory everybody knows that, but too many screenplays, pale 

mimics of movies we've already seen, don't take you anywhere you haven't 
been, introduce you to people you've already seen too many times, and 

background image

don't give you any insight. There's also evil screenplays. Bad screenplays 
just mimic movies the writer has seen, he or she figuring, they made it into a 
movie once, maybe they'll pay me to make it into a movie again. Evil 
screenplays, like the evil movies they become, lie about human nature, 
present false insights, paint the world as a meaner and nastier place than it 
is, and so teach people to be meaner and nastier to each other. 
As a more positive rule of thumb, never write a screenplay unless you're 
aching to see the movie yourself. You can fool yourself, but you won't fool 
the audience. 

My big secret criterion: Is it a Movie?

As a development executive and producer, I have one big secret 

criterion -- one big hurdle that any script I read must pass before I consider 
it any further as a potential project. You might think it would have something 
to do with the characters, the plot, the hook, or who's attached to it, but 
nope, it's: 

Is it a movie? 

The question boils down to a gut reaction: do I see this appearing in a 
movie theater? Do I see crowds of people paying $8 a pop to see it? 
You would be 

amazed

 how many projects flunk this test. And yet it is all 

important. I have read any number of scripts that were well executed, 
whose characters were likable, that had plot and pacing, that I just could not 
for the life of me imagine in a movie theater. In a lot of cases they were 
fundamentally novels. In some cases their story was fundamentally internal, 
and no amount of acting and directing could bring it out. 

So how do you tell if it's a movie? Hopefully you have your own gut reaction. 
But if you're unsure ...   

Query First

Okay, here's an unorthodox idea. You know how you spend six weeks or six 
months writing a screenplay, and then people don't want to read it? 
Well, say what you will about discovering the screenplay as you write it, but 
you'll get a lot more mileage if you 

query first.

 Find out if people actually 

want to read a screenplay with your premise. If you tell the basic concept to 
a half dozen people and they aren't excited about it, either stop there or 
figure out what what you think is exciting about the idea isn't coming across 
to them, and reformulate the pitch. If, no matter how you reformulate the 
pitch, people still aren't jazzed about it, the odds are you don't have a good 
hook. Stop there. You have now saved six months. 

background image

If the pitch works, work out the story first, and tell it to people. If they are not 
excited, rework it until they are. If you can't get them excited about the 
story, they won't be excited about the script, either. Execution rarely 
improves a so-so idea into a great script; and from a point of view of sale, 
your idea is what will get it read.

Now far be it from me to suggest that you actually pretend you have a 
screenplay and send a lot of queries out, or call a few agents and/or 
producers and ask if they want to read it. I wouldn't dream of suggesting 
that, if they like it and you "forget" to send the screenplay because you 
haven't actually written it already, they will soon enough have forgotten that 
you were going to send it, and you can tell them six weeks later that you 
have a "new draft." That would be wrong. Wouldn't it? 

But you 

should

 pitch your project to a few trusted friends. If you can't get 

them interested in reading your script 

before

 you write it, don't write it. 

Some questions to ask are: "would you pay good money to go see this 
movie? Would you take a date to this movie? Would you get a babysitter in 
order to see this movie?" 

The guys who wrote While You Were Sleeping pitched their story idea for 
five years before they finally wrote it. That's how long it took them to figure 
out that it should be the guy who was in a coma, not the girl. 

Obviously if you have an agent and you can get out to pitch your screenplay 
before you've written it, then it's ideal, because you might actually get paid 
to write it, but you will at least create awareness of the project ("tracking"), 
hopefully short-circuiting other people who might be thinking along the 
same lines, and it's an excuse to meet people. 

Or, just write screenplays for the sake of great artistic achievement and 
hope that lightning strikes. Or write for your own enjoyment of the process. 
Why is pitching so important? Because the concept is 

the

 most important 

commercial aspect of most mainstream screenplays. A concept is what sells 
the project, unless you already have name talent attached, or your script is 
based on a bestselling novel or play. Bear in mind that your project has to 
be sold 

over and over again

 in order to get bought, let alone made into a 

movie. It has to be sold to the producer's reader, the producer's 
development person, the producer, the studio reader, the studio 
development exec, the studio "development team," the production exec, the 
agent's assistant, the agent's reader, the agent... and none of them wants 
to open a script without already knowing that the concept is worth the time 
they'll spend reading the script. 

background image

A producer would rather have a badly executed script with a great hook 
than a well written script with no hook. That's because he can always hire 
another writer to rewrite the bad script, but there is nothing you can do to fix 
a script whose concept does not cry out to be made into a movie; unless, 
again, it has bankable talent attached or is based on a well-established 
"property" such as a bestseller, comic book or smash hit play. 

The essential elements of a movie 

For a movie to get made, and for a movie to be any good, here are the 
elements you want to have. There are exceptions, of course, but they 
usually belong to the realm of art films; and almost all good art films have 
them, possibly in a subtler form than in a mainstream movie: 

Characters we care about. We don't have to like them, just care about     
them. If we don't care about them, no movie. 

Stakes. Something must be at risk for someone. Higher stakes are 
better. They may be personal stakes, such as in a romance, then they 
should seem, at least to the characters, the most important stakes in 
the world. Or they may be universal stakes, such as in asteroid-about-
to-clobber-the-Earth movies. If they are personal stakes, they must be 
personal stakes we can relate to: if we were in the characters' shoes, 
we'd feel the same way. No stakes, we don't care, no movie. 

Conflict. Someone wants something. There is an obstacle. That is the 
heart of drama. The obstacle may be internal (Darcy's pride and 
Elizabeth Bennet's prejudice), external (the Montagues hate the 
Capulets), or physical (big asteroids have a lot of momentum). No 
conflict, no drama, no movie. 

A hook. Something fresh that we haven't seen lately, whether it's 
amazing special effects (a tidal wave takes out Manhattan) or a 
situation (two people who love each other on e-mail hate each other in 
person). No hook, your movie is not going to get made, except by 
sheer luck or well-chosen sexual favors. 

A high concept spec thriller basically wants three things: a great hero, a 
great villain with a great scheme, and fresh, high stakes. 

I find that stakes fail more often than characters. Everyone knows they have 
to have characters and conflict. But often the conflict is not al that important, 
and the dread question 

"who cares?"

 pops up. What fails most often is the 

hook. 

background image

What is a great hook? 

Ah, that's what writers get paid hundreds of thousands of dollars to know. 
It's a premise for a movie that, alone, makes the audience want to find a 
babysitter, drive to the n-plex, pay for parking and two tickets, and give up 
two hours of their lives to sit in the dark and see your vision. It's a premise 
that any fool can see would make the audience want to do that. 

Not all great movies had great hooks. Some were based on well-loved 
popular novels (Forrest GumpThe Three Musketeers), comics, or plays; in 
a sense, that's the hook. Some had characters with a radiance about them 
that you just wanted to be there with them (Butch Cassidy and the 
Sundance Kid
). But nearly every script sold by an unknown screenwriter 
had a great hook. 

Ask yourself, How is your premise different from other movies in the same 
genre? How is it fresh? What did you put in your movie that has never been 
seen before? A character, a situation, a natural or artificial phenomenon 
we've never seen? 

At the same time, sheer novelty can kill a project. The other question you 
must ask yourself is, "Is this a movie?" Can you really see this opening at 
the multiplex? Would you, your friends, your enemies, the cute girl at the 
Dairy Queen, your high school teacher, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, her arch-
nemesis Spike, go see this movie? If not, no matter what the merits of your 
story and your writing, you are likely writing a film that will never get bought 
or made. 

Think about the audience for your picture. Are there substantial numbers of 
people who want to see a picture like this? If you write, for example, a 
drama set in space, you must ask yourself, is there an audience for science 
fiction drama? Have there been any successful science fiction dramas? (Is 
Frankenstein a drama? Arguably, the unsuccessful Branagh version was, 
although it had its thrills; the successful Boris Karloff one was a monster 
movie with drama.) If not, you are running a big risk that, no matter how 
much people like your script, they won't be able to figure out how to get it 
made. If they can't figure that out, they won't give you money for it, not to 
mention it won't get shot. 

The First Reel Contract

In the first reel (the first 10 minutes), the movie makes a contract with its 
audience. The whole plot isn't necessarily set up. Sometimes you just have 
an eight minute action sequence that tells you the movie's an action movie. 
But the contract sets up the tone of the movie and the generic ("genre") 

background image

expectations of the audience. The ending of the movie is going to have to 
deliver the goods on the contract. In other words, if you set up a romantic 
contract, the boy better get the girl. If you set up a dramatic or other 
contract, there can be a romance in the movie, but the boy can lose or give 
up the girl, the girl can get murdered, the boy can get murdered, etc. 
Casablanca has a strong romance element, but the film opens with a 
Resistance operative being gunned down on the streets. If Rick went off 
with Ilsa, that wouldn't deliver the goods on the contract. Instead, Rick gives 
Ilsa back to Viktor Laszlo because "the problems of three little people don't 
add up to a hill of beans in this crazy world." If you'd started the movie with 
Ilsa leaving Rick at the train station, you'd probably have to end it with Rick 
and Ilsa together. 

You can't be dogmatic about what makes a contract and what doesn't, but a 
few points are obvious. An action movie has to open with a big action 
scene. A comedy needs a good laugh in the first three minutes. A drama 
had better get inside the skin of at least one central character. A horror 
movie better have something creepy or horrifying happen. And so on. If you 
haven't made a contract with your audience by page ten, you've wasted the 
first reel. 

Pitch Your Movie

How do you know what contract you want to make? Screenwriting books 
talk about "theme," but I'm talking about "the goods." What goods did you 
write the script to sell? 

One of the most powerful tools, I have found, is to pitch your movie. It's 
frightening and exhausting and I try to avoid it. I procrastinate. I avoid. I 
evade. But if I simply 

pitch my movie

 to someone, step by step, I find 

myself restructuring the story on the fly. Cutting out confusing stuff. Adding 
and subtracting beats. 

Personally, I enjoy working on paper more. I feel safer. I can control words, 
they do what I want, and if they don't, I can change them before someone 
reads them. But what seems to work on paper, once told on the fly, often 
sounds stupid or confusing or far too complicated, or sounds like it's coming 
in at the wrong place. You have a natural sense for how to tell someone a 
story, but often it doesn't trigger when you're struggling with characters and 
dialogue. Pitching the story to someone forces your brain to invoke your 
natural story telling ability. 

The ideal person to pitch your story to is 

not

 someone in show business. 

They'll want to make improvements. As good as these may be, they are not 

your

 improvements. What you want is to see if your story sounds 

background image

interesting to yourself as you pitch it, to see in the listener's eyes where he 
or she is bored or thrilled, see where you're confusing yourself. 

Most writers are shy, so you may have trouble working up the energy to do 
it. If you don't want to pitch the story to someone else, at least 

run through 

the plot in your head

 while you're driving or walking somewhere. The 

parts where you can't remember what comes next may be the parts that 
need the most work. If you can't remember what gets you from one step to 
the next each time you tell yourself the story, odds are you're not seguéing 
smoothly. There is probably no very strong connection or sharp 
juxtaposition between one scene and the next, and you need to make your 
transition stronger. 

You will also want to write your "pitch" down on paper in five or six pages. 
This is not an outline. The point isn't to go from step to step, as such, but to 
sell the story. A written pitch is not as good as a spoken pitch, though, 
because you can convince yourself of things on paper that you would never 
get away with in person. 

One of the most valuable benefits of telling your story out loud is it will 
immediately become obvious when your movie is not worth its effect on 
global warming. Say you've come up with one of those gangster / lowlife / 
serial killer movies that people write because they think the market wants 
them, but that they don't really believe in their hearts. You start to tell it to 
your friend, and you suddenly realize that you'd rather be talking about a 
movie you just saw. 

Good. Now you don't have to write that script. It was a dumb idea anyway. 
Strictly from hunger. 

Once you've pitched and pitched and pitched your idea, you'll have it down 
pat, and you can write it down. Then when you've written your script, go 
back and see if you've delivered the goods the pitch promised. If not, 
rewrite until it does. But if you've really done the work of pitching your story, 
odds are you will have an extremely clear idea of the goods you're 
promising to deliver, and you'll have done your best to deliver them. 

Cast Your Movie

Casting your movie in your mind's eye makes it easier to write a coherent 
character. Think of Robert Redford in practically every movie he's ever 
done: he's a similar character from Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid to 
Three Days of the Condor to The Natural to Sneakers to Up Close and 
Personal
. In a given situation, you know how Redford's character will react. 
If your lead role is an aging golden boy, smarter than he looks but not 

background image

brilliant, caught in a situation slightly beyond him, basically decent but not 
about to get in a fight about it unless he can't avoid it ... well, you can cast 
Redford in that role, can't you? 

Basically, as you imagine the scene, imagine it with a star playing the role. 
What this buys you is consistency. Once you know Redford's playing the 
part, you can instantly see that certain lines of dialog are just wrong. 
Redford's character would never say something coarse, or cruel, or 
pretentious. Cast Redford in your mind, and the coarseness, cruelty or 
pretentiousness of certain lines will suddenly jump out at you, even though 
they seemed fine before. Similarly, certain actions become impossible. 
Redford's character would never pick a fight, nor would he betray a friend. 
You're not really using the star, of course. You're using their screen 
persona. Some actors have several.

 For example, Harrison Ford's characters are always fundamentally 

good people who stand up for what's right, but in his earlier work, he played 
wise-asses (Han Solo, Indiana Jones) and later on, grown-up boy scouts 
(Jack Ryan, Dr. Richard Kimble). Some actors have created such a 
powerful persona you can use it after just one movie. Sharon Stone's ice 
queen from Basic Instinct can come in handy. Travis Bickle, the borderline 
psychotic from Taxi Driver, could easily show up in your story. 

The key, of course, is making sure you're casting the right character. I once 
wrote a space opera "starring" Harrison Ford. The problem was, he was 
supposed to be a dirty cop, a weak man who found himself in a situation 
where his innate decency forced him to side with the rebels even though it 
was suicide and he had better offers elsewhere. We weren't supposed to 
know which way he would jump. Somehow the lines seemed mushy. I 
should have known better: Harrison Ford is never dirty or weak. The 
problem fixed itself when I "recast" with Kurt Russell, whose screen persona 
is shadier: someone you like, but don't necessarily trust. The lines started to 
give themselves an edge. The character opened up. You didn't know which 
way he'd jump. 

You can also, of course, use your own friends or enemies, people whose 
reactions you will know. 

Do 

not

 tell anyone you've cast the movie. Let the lines speak for 

themselves. If you've done your job right, everyone will know who they'd like 
to see play the role. 

Casting your movie is not taught in schools, I guess because teachers fear 
it might kill your originality. Casting your movie is a technique of craft, not a 
technique of great art. But to my mind, it is easier to arrive at great art 

background image

through craft than through raw art. Picasso studied traditional painting 
before he invented new ways of seeing. Without going through a phase of 
mimicking the old masters, he would not have been able to control his 
Cubist paintings. Later on, Picasso would periodically whip out a perfect 
traditional portrait of someone, just to remind people he knew what he was 
doing. Once you know how to cast a role in the mold of a star, you can 
break that mold when you choose, not merely by accident. 

Note, however, that you cannot depend on your casting of the movie to 
make a character interesting or likeable. We, your readers, do not have 
Harrison Ford in our mind when we start reading. We will not start out 
caring about your lead character. You have to make him so compelling that 
we would care about him even if he were played by, say, Jim Belushi. In 
fact, if you cast an absolutely uncharismatic and neutral star in your mind's 
eye, you can easily see if your dialog and situations are truly effective 
enough to make us care about him. 

Remember, however, your hero needs to be compelling, but not necessarily 
likeable...    

Development Exec Myths

When development execs reject screenplays, they like to say 

1.

we don't know enough about the characters 

2.

we don't like the main character 

3.

the dialog is flat 

4.

the plot is episodic 

5.

the concept isn't fresh and unique 

These are often useless, dangerous comments, because addressing them 
directly will not do anything to fix the real problems with the screenplay. 
The most obviously dangerous comment is "the dialog is flat." Obviously, 
there is bad dialog, and one kind of bad dialog is flat, bland, listless, 
undistinguished dialog. But snappy dialog that jumps off the page is only 
one kind of good dialog, and it is only appropriate for certain characters and 
certain scripts. If you're writing Buffy, the Vampire Slayer, your dialog better 
be crisp, snappy and bouncy...

...But if you're writing anything like A Fistful of Dollars, Sergio Leone's first 
masterpiece, then your dialog wants to be spare and minimalist. Spare 
dialog can easily be accused of being flat, because the development 
executive is reading your script in bed late at night, exhausted, her eyes 
blurry, a pile of scripts on her night table, with her boyfriend snoring 
resentfully at her side. She is not putting anything into reading your lines, so 

background image

if they don't do the work for her, she will think them flat. 

On the other hand, the actor will put thought, passion and talent into the 
lines, and the silences between them, and so your "flat" dialog may in fact 
be good. 

"Your dialog is flat" means your screenplay is not working, but it probably 
means that your characters are not coming through as rounded people we 
care about. Fix the characters, and the dialog will fix itself. 

Another dangerous comment is "your concept is not unique." Most 
production companies don't want unique concepts. They want great hooks, 
which is not the same thing. If you do something really unique, the odds are 
they will reject it as "too different." After all, how many "unique" pictures do 
the studios make? If you do something mildly original, however, and your 
plot and characters don't hold the reader's attention, you may well hear the 
criticism that your concept isn't unique. Fix the plot and characters, and the 
"uniqueness" of your concept will fix itself. 

The issues of character and plot are less simple to unravel. 
In theory, everyone wants a well-rounded, likable hero. When your hero 
does not come across well, you will often hear two criticisms:

*

"We don't know enough about the hero" or 

*

"Why do we like him?" 

These are important questions, but they're often followed up by a request to 
give us specific scenes that fix the problem. The classic comment is "We 
don't know anything about the hero's background." However, when you 
change the screenplay so you know about the character's past, they then 
reject the picture for different reasons. If you're a competent screenwriter, 
what "I want to know more about this character's past" almost always 
means is, "I don't get your character" which is not the same. 

For a good example of a silly attempt at fleshing out a character, look at 
Gremlins, where Phoebe Cates explains that she hates Christmas because 
her dad died on Christmas. Little savage pointy-eared beasties are running 
amok. Who cares whether she likes Christmas or not? 

For a refreshing reversal, Buffy: The Vampire Slayer
Buffy: "Puppets give me the wiggins. Ever since I was eight."
Willow: "What happened?"
Buffy: "I saw a puppet, it gave me the wiggins. There really isn't a story 
there." 

background image

Your movie may be about the characters resolving issues from their past. 
But most hit movies, and at least half of all great movies, give their heros a 
throwaway past to evade the development exec, or none at all. For 
example, Dr. Richard Kimble doesn't change worth a damn in The Fugitive
His backstory is non-existent, too. His wife is killed on screen, and he 
spends the rest of the movie trying to find out who dunnit. Did anyone let a 
development executive anywhere near The Fugitive? The hell they did. It 
was production executives and producers all the way, from the one who 
bought the rights to the tv series to the one who offered it to Harrison Ford. 
Fact is, if you have a star, we already know who he is. 

On a dramatic level, many heros are heros because they are steadfast and 
don't change their character at all. We don't need to know their past, 
because they embody something that is greater than any one man's past. 
What was Shane like as a lad? Who was that masked man? You mean... 
you don't know? 

The Rubber Ducky

I am going to rant about the

 "rubber ducky"

 theory of backstory for a little 

while. 

The "rubber ducky" is my phrase for when the hero or villain, at a lull in the 
action, explains that he is what he is because his mother took away his 
rubber ducky when he was three. It is always a nice scene, well acted, 
beautifully lit, with a powerfully written monolog that the writer spent days 
on. 

The character's past may be important to your story, Batman being a good 
example. But if it is, that past generally demands more attention than one 
scene. It often gets several flashbacks, and sometimes explodes into the 
climactic scene itself. It may be the only thing rooting an action movie in any 
emotional reality at all, or it may reveal information that is critical to the 
outcome of the movie, each of which The Terminator is a good example for. 
But if all you're talking about is giving your hero more emotional depth, you 
are running the risk of awakening the Rubby Ducky. 

As an example of a powerful movie in which the Rubber Ducky makes no 
appearance, in A Fistful of Dollars, when the Man with No Name risks his 
life to rescue the little family of three from the crossfire, the husband asks, 
"Mister, why are you doing all this for us." The story goes that in the script 
there was some godawful long speech explaining the Man with No Name's 
backstory, and Clint Eastwood asked Sergio Leone, "Can't I just say, 'Cause 
once there was a family just like yours ... and there was no one to help'?" 
So we never got to hear about his rubber ducky. 

background image

Would it have improved the movie if we had? 

When readers / development execs / actors haven't bothered to read 
carefully and ask the question "What sort of person is this character, based 
on the way he reacts to the situations in the script?," they feel that the 
character is flat, and they ask for a rubber ducky. Then if the picture 
becomes a go, actors get very attached to the rubber ducky scene, 
because it shows they can Act. So the ducky stays in the picture. 
But beware: if they're asking for the rubber ducky, the picture isn't working 
for them. The solution may be wrong, but the problem is still there. There's 
something missing. 

How we know about character

There are two ways we know about a character: 

what we see them do and say, and 

what they or other people tell us about themselves. 

Actions speak louder than words. What people do physically and what they 
do by talking to other people, is far more telling than what people tell us 
about themselves. 

If you do not want to fill our ears with a sad tale of woe, then make sure that 
the character does things - little or big things - that show us who s/he is. In 
The Fugitive, Dr. Richard Kimble's habit of putting himself at risk of being 
sent back to jail in order to help strangers, makes us care about him more 
than any story he could possibly tell could. 

This technique is harder to use than the rubber ducky, but often more 
effective, and it doesn't stop the story's forward motion. 

Note that I am not against telling the character's backstory. Often a 
character will tell about his past in order to explain to another character why 
he needs to do what he's going to do, or to get the other character to do 
something. That's merely good drama, using speech to get results. What 
I'm arguing against is the comment "we don't know enough about him," 
which is so often a red herring.

The pat-the-dog scene

Similarly, development execs as "why do we like the hero? In response, 
writers like to throw in a 

"pat the dog" 

scene to appease development 

execs. In the PTD scene, the hero is nice to a stray dog, orphan child, pet 

background image

iguana, etc., something to show that although he is a hard bitten squinty 
eyed sonofabitch, he's warm and fuzzy inside. Almost 

every

 successful 

mainstream

 movie will give you several moments where we see a human 

side to even the toughest hero. 

Pat the dog scenes are easier than doing the hard work of making the story 
so compelling, and the segues from scene to scene so seamless, that the 
reader never has a moment to wonder why he likes or doesn't like the main 
character. 

But it's not 

necessary

. In All That Jazz, for example, Joe Gideon is not a 

likeable guy; in fact he's a shit. But he's honest about what a shit he is, and 
he really does care about creating. Instead of a PTD scene, give your hero 

dream

, something s/he really wants to do but can't because of his/her 

circumstances. Dorothy dreams of a place "over the rainbow." 

Or a driving 

goal

. Dorothy needs to get back home to Kansas. In Dog Day 

Afternoon, Al Pacino's character holds up a bank in order to get his gay 
transvestite lover enough money for the operation to make him a woman. A 
weird goal, but a driving one. 

Or, give the hero a big 

problem

 that makes us care about him. In Lethal 

Weapon, Riggs puts a gun in his mouth every morning and tries to think of a 
reason not to pull the trigger. Dorothy is going to lose her dog Toto. Rick 
Deckard has to kill five replicants, even though he wants to quit blade 
running. 

Or, as above, give the hero things to do, say and feel that are 

integral to 

the story 

that make us know him for a hero. Villains, it is generally thought, 

should be fun to be around. Richard III is a gas; he's really whooping it up 
being a rat bastard. Darth Vader is cool, in a horrible way. Likewise, the 
sheer 

intensity

 of a hero or antihero can carry him through the "likeability" 

hurdle - see Night of the Hunter - although don't hold your breath for the 
"Look Back In Anger" remake. 

What do you do when your hero has no redeeming qualities as in, say 
Leaving Las Vegas? Make him/her as unique, human, truthful and 
fascinating as you can, and then convince a likeable actor to play him. Many 
actors love to play unlikeable characters, because they 

can pull out the stops 
think it's harder, and 
don't like themselves. 

background image

In 

no

 case can your hero have a trace of 

self-pity

(Don't talk to me about 

Albert Brooks, I don't want to hear it.) 

The secret lives of characters.

As an aside, there are a lot of writers who feel that you should know much 
more about your characters than your audience will. There is a school of 
thought that says you should write full backstories for all your characters, 
i.e. where they went to school, what they majored in, what mom did for a 
living, where they live etc. The theory is that this will help you give your 
characters life. 

The danger in this technique, as I see it, is that your audience can only 
know what is actually on the screen. The reader can only learn what is on 
the page. If there is something we need to know and it's not in the 
screenplay, how do we know it? 

The argument is that the knowledge somehow seeps into the character as 
you write him or her. Somehow, your secondary character takes on a 
greater fleshiness by virtue of your knowing him or her better. 
Well, whatever works. 

It is certainly true that actors 

must

 know their characters better than the 

audience does, or they will not seem real. They should know what the 
character was doing before the scene began, what he would be doing if the 
scene never happened, what the character's goals in life are, and so on. 
Personally, I like to discover things about the characters as I write what they 
say and do. I let them say things, and then I say to myself, "Wow, I didn't 
know that about Gail, that's great, I can use that!" I can also give my 
characters backstory that is convenient to the screenplay at the drop of a 
hat. I also can't sucker myself into writing bland ordinary characters whom I 
think are exceptional because of the wonderful offscreen life I have created 
for them. 

The risk with my approach is that characters may seem well-wrought but no 
more than functional. If I'm not careful, they will only do things that are 
relevant to the screenplay. They won't have the depth of life, the sense that 
if the movie weren't happening they'd be off doing something they liked 
better. 

The flip side of that is that the audience does not always want truly deep 
secondary characters, or heros for that matter. A good stock character can 
be great fun for the audience. The obnoxious store clerk. The befuddled 
grandfather. Do we really want to know about their angst? No, they wouldn't 
be as enjoyable. Take Alan Rickman's over-the-top Sheriff of Nottingham in 

background image

Robin Hood, Prince of Thieves. Did we want to know what made him the 
way he is? Like fun we did. We wanted him pure unadulterated evil. Any 
explanation would have made him less fun. 

This is true not only of schlock, but of great literature. Take Shakespeare's 
Sir John Falstaff, who was so well enjoyed in Henry IV and Henry V that the 
Bard brought him back for his own play, The Merry Wives of Windsor. Do 
we know anything about his childhood? Did Shakespeare? He is a fat, 
drunken coward prone equally to bursts of hilarity and melancholy. It is what 
he does onstage that makes us love him. 

Roger Zelazny, a marvelous science fiction and fantasy writer, has an 
interesting approach that might prove useful, though. Just for himself, he 
writes a scene with his character that he does not put in the story. Not a 
whole backstory, but a scene. He then makes a reference in the story to 
that scene. That gives the audience the feeling that the character has a life 
of his own. (Terry Rossio refers to the same idea, quoting Obi-Wan Kenobi: 
"He fought with your father in the Clone Wars," although we never do learn 
what the Clone Wars were.) 

But note how this is different from a backstory. What makes this technique 
meaningful is an allusion to the scene which is made in the movie, but never 
explained to the audience. Don't overdo it, but it may be worthwhile for your 
characters to refer to events outside the story. You don't have to pay off 
every set up. 

"It's Episodic"

When development execs say this, it usually means the script lacks what I 
call 

inevitability

. In other words, one episode follows another without the 

first one forcing the second one. In the ideal dramatic script, one thing leads 
to the next; nothing happens by accident, but proceeds inevitably from the 
circumstances in the beginning. 

In some scripts this is hard to do, and one wants to say, "I know the 
Scarecrow episode doesn't make the Cowardly Lion episode inevitable, but 
I like it that way!" But when development execs are looking for reasons to 
reject (which is all the time unless their boss already likes the project), they'll 
use the term "episodic" to describe their not being caught up in the 
unfolding events. 

If it is 

in the nature of your story

 that new elements cause surprises in the 

second and third acts, for example if your characters are on the road, 
meeting new people and having new adventures every reel or so, a strong 
dramatic 

motor

 may fix the problem. In other words, the human 

background image

relationships between the characters, or the development in the 
protagonist's character arc, will provide sinew to hold together what may 
otherwise be an episodic skeleton. 

Note that a screenplay must have inevitability and yet 

surprise

. This is not 

really a contradiction. The genre and the "contract" often tell us what the 
eventual outcome of the movie will be. But we don't know how we'll get to 
that outcome. We know James Bond won't get killed, but we don't know that 
when he skis off the cliff, there's a parachute in his backpack, or there's a 
plane waiting to catch him. We don't know how. 

Similarly, in a drama, we need to be able to look back and see how the 
eventual outcome was "inevitable." But we can't know it's coming until it's 
arrived. We have to feel unsure which way the story will go, knowing that it 
will go the way that will satisfy us. 

From scene to scene, there can be simultaneous surprise (we got here) 
and satisfaction (of course we got here, it's the only place we could have 
got). 

The other reason you get this comment is that we don't care enough about 
the protagonist. If we care about the hero, we will follow him through your 
episodes. If we don't care, they will seem to just pop up one after the other. 
Easy? No, of course not. That's why they pay so much to have it done right. 

The Myth of Three Act Structure

The biggest myth in screenwriting is three act structure. That's not a bad 
thing. Myths are useful ways to get across basic values. We live by myths. 
But they can also make it hard to get new ideas. 

For those of you who just got off the plane from Omaha, the idea is that 
there's a first act, where you get your hero up a tree; a second act, where 
the hero tries to get down the tree but gets more up the tree; and the third 
act, where the hero knocks the tree over on the bad guys, crushing them to 
death. Books on screenwriting (generally by people without a writing credit 
on a produced picture) often go so far as to state that the first act ends 
between page 25 and page 35; and that the third act begins between pages 
85 and 95 in a 120 page screenplay. At the end of each act is a "turning 
point" where the hero's situation changes, his desires change, the flow of 
the story turns. Dorothy is whisked away to Oz. Before, she wanted to save 
Toto; now, she wants to go home. 

Howard Suber also notes a "flex point" around page 60 where the stakes 
are raised and the pace intensified. When you watch the latest high-concept 

background image

thriller (e.g. The Specialist), these turning points and flex points will often 
leap out and bite you in the ass. They work, sometimes very well; but they 
can also become crutches, and make the movie boring.

Only maybe half of all truly great movies have three acts; and in some of 
them, you have to stretch to figure out what the act breaks are. Where are 
the act breaks in Hard Day's NightAll that Jazz? How about Spartacus
Forrest GumpApollo 13Annie Hall

For an exercise, try to explain what effect the act breaks, if there are any, 
have in Sleepless in Seattle  and LA Story. Or how about The Wizard of Oz
Does the third act begin when the Wizard sends Dorothy after the Wicked 
Witch of the East? Or when Dorothy gets home to Kansas? If it's the former, 
then how is the third act any different from the second? If it's the latter, then 
the third act is no more than epilogue. 

Typically, thrillers set up the main character in a short first act - really a 
precipitating incident - and then pursue the main character through a huge 
second act which, rather than turning into a third act, just keeps picking up 
the pace until the bad guy's had it and the hero/ine wins. There may be an 
epilogue (the hero testifies in front of Congress, or goes home and kisses 
his wife, etc.); but there's no real third act. In Alien or Predator, there is no 
qualitative difference between the second and third acts. A shrinking band 
of humans is fighting a monster. In these cases you can arbitrarily say the 
third act begins when the monster kills off the hero or heroine's last ally, or 
when the hero or heroine finally starts to turn the tables on his or her 
enemy, but then you are only finding a second turning point because you 
are looking for one. 

My point is, three act structure is overrated. Sure, there needs to be a 
beginning ("get your hero up a tree"), a middle ("he tries to get down the 
tree but gets further up") and an end ("the tree falls down"). But the 
important thing is to tell a good story and deliver the goods on your premise 
and for your genre. In comedy, if you keep them laughing, they'll forgive you 
anything. In adventure stories and thrillers, tell a good yarn, and you can 
chuck the turning points out the window. On the other hand, be prepared to 
put up with knee-jerk comments about structure from development execs 
when they don't like your script. 

Remember, too: just because they're wrong about 

why

 they don't like your 

script, doesn't mean it's good. It's up to you to figure out what's broken and 
fix it; if you do, odds are all those comments about structure will go away. 

background image

The Clock

If your script is a thriller or action movie, development execs will often try to 
put a clock in. A clock is a deadline against which the hero is racing. In 
Outbreak, an American town will be bombed into ashes if the virus isn't 
contained by a certain time. In Executive Decision, the Vice President must 
order a jumbo jet full of innocent passengers blown out of the sky by a 
certain time or the jet will drop deadly poison over the entire East Coast. In 
Midnight Run, Robert De Niro's character must get Charles Grodin's 
character to a court appointment by a noon on a certain day in order to get 
his fee as a bounty hunter. In The Rock, the bad guys are going to blow 
poison gas into San Francisco if they don't get their money by a certain 
time. 

The clock can be less explicit; we may not know until the last act just exactly 
wha the bad guys are going to do and when they're going to do it. In Die 
Hard
, Detective John McClane does not know the bad guys' plans, but we 
discover that as soon as they empty the safe, they are going to blow up all 
the civilians. We don't have a specific H-hour M-Minute for that, but 
McClane is racing to stop Hans Gruber before he can succeed. The Last 
Boy Scout
 is another example: the bad guys are going to set off a bomb in a 
stadium and assassinate a Senator at a certain time, but we don't know that 
right away. 

The clock is one of those things development executives are taught to ask 
for whether it's appropriate or not; they are taught to believe that a clock will 
always ratchet up the suspense. 

If you think about it, it's not hard to come up with any number of extremely 
suspenseful thrillers that don't have a clock. Just to pick names out of a hat: 
Basic Instinct, Sleeping with the Enemy, Wild Things, Single White Female, 
Rear Window, Gaslight, The Parallax View, Day of the Condor, The 
Conversation, Blow Up, Blow Out, Seven, Chinatown, Body Heat, Jagged 
Edge, Witness.
 Nor can you say that the subgenre of action thrillers needs a 
clock. The Fugitive, Conspiracy Theory, Lethal Weapon, The Long Kiss 
Goodnight
: none of these has a clock. 

What suspenseful thrillers and action thrillers do have is a tightening noose, 
either putting the hero in more and more jeopardy, or getting the hero 
closer and closer to solving the mystery, or both. For example, serial killer 
movies (Silence of the Lambs, Seven) don't really have clocks, but the 
detective is trying to stop the bad guy from murdering his next victim. It's not 
a clock because we don't know who he'll kill next or when. Innocent-man 
thrillers such as North by Northwest, The Fugitive often have the hero 
chasing after a precious few clues trying to clear himself before he's caught 

background image

by the cops. 

If your exec is asking you for a clock, it may be a sign of intellectual 
laziness, or it may be a sign that you have not ratcheted up the suspense 
as high as it will go. Your pacing is slow or it does not speed up as you 
approach the end of the movie. You are not tightening the noose. 

The odds are in this case that providing a clock will not automatically 
increase suspense. The clock is like the MacGuffin (Hitchcock's term for the 
thing everyone's chasing after: the microfilm, the tape, the letters of transit, 
the plans to the Deathstar): it provides an excuse for your characters to get 
wound up, but it does not wind them up for you. You still have to provide the 
suspense, the jeopardy and the mystery. 

That said, if you can organically have a clock, it can clarify the hero's task, 
just as having a MacGuffin does. Clarity is a Good Thing. 
If you have a clock, it is also neat to speed it up periodically. We don't have 
six hours -- we have half an hour! Oh no! 

Humor in Non-Comedy Scripts

Development execs will sometimes tell you your screenplay could stand to 
be funnier. 

This generally indicates one of two problems. Your hero may be taking 
himself terribly seriously. In a popcorn movie, self-importance in the hero is 
not as bad as self-pity, which is deadly, but it is a big weight on the movie. 
Think of how much better comic book movies like Judge Dredd and Blade 
could have been if the hero deflated himself with humor, or if the screenplay 
deflated him for us. On the other hand, look at Zorro, and how much more 
we enjoy Joaquin Murietta (the young Zorro played by Antonio Banderas) 
because he makes a fool of himself from time to time. In action movies, 
humor is an essential bit of leavening. That's why Stallone movies can get 
so dreary (he seems to me to be less willing to let movies make fun of him) 
while Mel Gibson's action movies are so much fun. 

Or, you may not have given enough oomph to your dramatic scenes. If the 
screenplay hasn't made us care about the hero's goals, visions, pain and 
love, we don't care about him. We start hoping for some humor. Humor 
won't fix this problem, though. You need to look at how to make us care 
more. Then we won't need humor. 

That said, even the heaviest drama can use humor, because people tend to 
crack jokes in the face of death; and if you lighten things up a bit, you allow 
the audience to catch their breath before you go even deeper into gut-

background image

wrenching tragedy. 

  

Love Thy Enemy

You must love your villain in one of two ways.

Cartoon villains, in the best sense. Iago. Darth Vader. The Wicked 
Witch of the West. He is a truly horrible wicked person, and there is a 
tremendous force and intensity to his personality. You love writing 
him. The actor will love playing him. Think of Hannibal the Cannibal in 
Silence of the Lambs or the Alan Rickman's Sheriff of Nottingham in 
Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves. Elmira Gulch and the Wicked Witch of 
the West in Gone With the Wind -- oops, I meant, you know. 

Realistic villains. Give him tremendous sympathy and self-justification. 
He believes he has his reasons. Hitler thought he was ridding the 
world of evil Jews, and taking the world for the Master Race, as was 
their right. Claudius really loves Gertrude, and has convinced himself 
he loves Hamlet, too. He feels terribly guilty for murdering Hamlet's 
father. O. J. Simpson has convinced himself 

he

 is the victim. They are 

all evil, but they think they are only misunderstood. 

The stronger an impression your villain makes, the greater the obstacle for 
the hero, the better the conflict, the more drama. 

External Antagonist, Intimate Opponent and Tragic (or Comic) Flaw

So long as you don't crowd your movie, there's room for three kinds of 
conflict. There's an external antagonist, which may be a person, an 
organization, or just a situation (beat the clock). There is often also an 
intimate opponent: someone on the side of the hero who is untrustworthy, 
or gets in his way, or distracts him. Then there's the hero's flaw. In the best 
drama, the hero's flaw ties in with the antagonist, so that by confronting the 
antagonist, he is forced to confront his worst fears. 

So in a horror movie about werewolves, it might be good if the hero's 
deepest fear is to lose control of himself. But all vices have their virtues: the 
hero may discover that his worst flaw gives him a weapon people without 
that flaw may not have. In the best drama, everything ties together, but in 
unexpected ways. Thus your plot can be surprising, yet inevitable: you don't 
know how it will turn out, but when it does turn out, you realize that was the 
only way it could have gone. 

background image

Literary Names

Be careful giving names with literary inspiration. Personally, I find it easier to 
get a grip on a character if he or she has a name that means something. A 
monster called MEGAERA seems scarier to me than one called TANAKRA, 
even if many people aren't going to be sure whether she's "meg-i-ra" or 
"meg-ay-ra". (Megaera is one of the three Furies of Greek Mythology, who 
hound kinslayers to their doom.) Also, names torn from literature tend to 
sound more natural than names you make up. Most of J. R. R. Tolkien's 
names, believe it or not, are taken from Old English and Old Norse heroic 
sagas, e.g. Gimli, Eowyn, Gandalf. That's why they work, and ones created 
in imitation of his names almost always sound phony. 

But "Megaera" won't necessarily seem scary to a reader without a classical 
education, which is most readers. For example, I once called a place "Iblis," 
which is not only Arabic for "despair," but the name of the chief djinn, an 
angel who was ejected from heaven after he refused to reverence Adam, 
saying, "And shall I worship a lump of clay, I whom Thou didst shape out of 
smokeless fire?" The exec on the project, an extremely bright and talented 
woman who had, unfortunately for me, not read the footnotes in Richard 
Burton's translation of The Thousand And One Nights, did not think "Iblis" 
sounded scary enough. I changed it to Kadesh, which I vaguely recall might 
be the Hebrew for one of the Ten Plagues in Exodus, or then again, might 
not be. But it sounds good. 

I include the anecdote just to point out that you should do whatever you 
need to do to tell yourself what the character means, if that's important to 
you. But be sure you're also scoring with a reader who has not read as 
many books as you have. Even readers who have read as many books as 
you have will assume that the audience won't get the allusions they do. 
Smart, educated studio executives -- there are more than you would expect 
from the stories -- regularly assume that the audience is uneducated, 
intellectually lazy, and scared of anything deep, and that they will resent 
anything over their heads. They are regularly proved wrong by the success 
of deep, intelligent, difficult movies. But no one ever got fired for 
underestimating the audience, and most executives live in fear of being 
fired during all months with vowels in them.

There is another danger in using clever names. Your readers will 
periodically understand them perfectly well. They'll know why you named a 
character "Janus" and will figure out he's two-faced before you want them 
to; or they'll just be slightly irritated at you. You never want anything that 
alienates your reader from imagining the movie unspooling in his head. 

  

background image

Point of View and the Central Character

Most screenplays tell their story from the point of view of one of the 
characters. This is often, but not always, the central character. The 
distinction can be enlightening. 

The standard approach is that of a detective story. We see things unfold as 
the detective does; we see flashbacks only when he figures out what 
happened. From time to time, we might see something he doesn't; that 
heightens suspense. For example, in Vertigo, we discover the girl's secret; 
Jimmy Stewart's character doesn't learn it until the final reel. 

The same is generally true for drama. In Casablanca, we see the story 
unfold almost entirely from Rick's point of view. There are a few vignettes -- 
the Rumanian girl offering herself to Captain Renault, Renault's 
conversation with Strasser about how to deal with Viktor Laszlo -- but these 
are things Rick could have guessed or heard about. The flashback is his -- 
even though we see Ilsa Lund's eyes when he doesn't, there's nothing in 
the scene he didn't know or figure out shortly after. 

However, when the central character is someone we can never truly entire 
into the mind of, often the point of view through whom the story is told is 
another character. A good example is Moby Dick. The central character -- 
the man the story revolves around -- is Captain Ahab. But he is a maniac, 
obsessed beyond reason with vengeance. He is in a state we can 
(hopefully) never go to; we can only see the outward face of it. Melville tells 
the story, instead, through a narrator who is practically a nonentity. The 
man we are supposed to call Ishmael does practically nothing except 
escape to tell the tale. 

Cinema is a literalistic medium. I mean that you have to put something 
concrete up on the screen. You can't reproduce visionary experience 
except by indirect means. For example, the Monkees film Head (written by 
none other than Jack Nicholson, as I recall) attempts to reproduce an LSD 
trip. The Monkees go through surreal escapades; everything almost seems 
to make sense, but not normal sense. But it's nothing at all like an actual 
LSD trip. 

Cinema can't reproduce paranoia except by making the world seem 
threatening, for example through high contrast photography and wide angle 
lenses. We're so used to an expressionistic style being used to indicate 
paranoia that we start to think that's what it's like. But a paranoid person 
sees the same facts you do; he just interprets them in an entirely different 
way. The camera can't draw conclusions for you; it can only present facts 
that demand a certain conclusion. 

background image

House of Cards and Rain Man have autistic characters at their center. But 
Rain Man was a more successful movie partly because it didn't try to get 
inside the mind of Raymond, the autistic savant. He is in a place we can 
never go, thank God. The camera can't enter there. But it can show the 
outward face of autism -- or, more precisely, an actor's illumination of 
autism. 

That doesn't mean don't try to find a way to show us the mind of a crazy 
person. The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari is a scary movie partly because it 
succeeds in putting us inside the mind of a crazy person; and Jacob's 
Ladder
 comes close to succeeding in doing something similar. But both 
have to use visual metaphors for things that can't be represented directly in 
film the way they can be written about directly in a novel. The mind of a 
computer, a nonhumanoid alien, an insane person, a god, a demon: either 
come up with a really amazing visual metaphor, or filter the story through a 
point of view we can grasp. Point of view can be a subtle thing. Two scenes 
can be written with identical dialog but whose 

emotional

 point of view 

belongs to different characters. It may be something as subtle as who you 
show reacting to the dialog. It may be even subtler. Do you say: 

CARRIE frowns. 
which merely shows us her facial expression -- suggesting that the 
emotional POV is with the other character seeing it; or 
CARRIE frowns, troubled. 

which gets us into Carrie's head just enough for us to feel we're with her 
emotionally, without going so deep into Carrie's head that the camera can't 
follow, as this bad example does: 

CARRIE frowns, troubled, remembering the morning's news. 
In a monster movie or thriller, there are going to be times you want the 
camera to show things the hero isn't there to see. Sometimes the camera 
will take the visual POV of the monster or stalker. 

But you can still keep the emotional POV with the hero (or victim). Show us 
only (a) what the hero can later deduce, and (b) what directly affects the 
hero. When a stalker is inexorably making his way to the victim's house, the 
emotional POV can still be with her if we know he's heading there. On the 
other hand, if the stalker takes a detour to have some ice cream with some 
little kids we've never met before, then the emotional POV leaves the victim 
and goes to the stalker. It leaves the victim, because she's got nothing to do 
with the kids; but it would not necessarily leave the hero if he or she is a 
homicide detective who will later discover their bodies or talk to them if they 
survived. 

background image

In Kenneth Branagh's vastly underrated movie Mary Shelley's Frankenstein
the emotional POV leaves Victor von Frankenstein for an extended stretch 
when the Creature finds shelter in the shed of the peasant family, and there 
learns to speak and read. But once the Creature, ejected from his refuge, 
swears revenge on von Frankenstein, he becomes Nemesis, destroying all 
those von Frankenstein loves. We are no longer in the Creature's emotional 
POV; we see everything from von Frankenstein's point of view. When the 
Creature captures von Frankenstein and asks him why he was made, the 
scene is played from von Frankenstein's point of view. 

I'm using horror movies and thrillers as a handy example, but the same is 
true in a drama. When someone walks into a room, do you follow them into 
the room (their perspective), overhearing the conversation inside the room, 
or do you start with the conversation and then see the person walk in (other 
people's perspective). Even so simple a choice as this can dramatically 
affect how we feel emotionally about the characters. Look at the POV 
difference in these two moments:  

INT. OLD MAN'S HOUSE -- CARRIE'S ROOM -- DAY
Carrie wakes up, alert.  

                           SARA (O.C.)
               I just read this Wired piece of
               yours?
               
                           NICK (O.C.)
               Oh yeah?  Damn, I must've left it
               lying around.

She sits up, eager.  

INT. OLD MAN'S LIVING ROOM -- DAY

Carrie looks in:

Sara is unfolding a piece of paper out of her back pocket.  Nick is doing the 
crossword puzzle on the coffee table.  

and 

INT. OLD MAN'S LIVING ROOM - LATE AFTERNOON

Sara comes in.  Nick is doing the crossword puzzle on the coffee
table.  She pulls a folded-up piece of paper out of her back
pocket.

background image

                                
                              SARA
               I just read this Wired piece of
               yours?
               
                              NICK
                           (grabs it)
               Oh yeah?  Damn, I must've left it
               lying around.

He looks up.  Carrie's watching them from the doorway.

 

The rest of the scene plays the same; but because the opening of one 

is Carrie's, and the opening of the other is Nick and Sara's, the dramatic 
force of the scene is different in the two versions. The movie I wrote the 
scene for stars Carrie; but I had unthinkingly written lots of it from other 
characters' perspective. Yet I wasn't prepared to make her a truly 
mysterious character. So I had the worst of both worlds: an unmysterious 
character whom we know only from an external POV. In rewriting it, I had to 
choose between keeping the emotional POV external and making Carrie 
more of a mystery, or putting the movie into Carrie's emotional POV by 
rewriting the scenes, which is what I did. 

As a counter-example to all the above, there are excellent movies that are 
totally voyeuristic -- they not only don't take you into any character's mind, 
but they don't tell you everything any one character knows. Wild Things is 
an excellent paradigm for this. We see the movie primarily from the point of 
view of the detective (Kevin Dillon) and the teacher (Matt Dillon), but we 
don't know everything either of them knows. In the end, the story turns out 
to have been entirely motivated by another character, whose machinations 
have been mostly kept from us. 

Wild Things works as a voyeuristic thriller. The audience may be coming for 
steamy eroticism (and it gets it!) but the goods the picture delivers is the 
cunning manipulation of the audience. In other words the audience is 
paying for the thrill of being led around by the nose. Just be aware that if 
you play games with the audience, your film is going to be emotionally cold. 
It's only by getting us to identify with a character -- to see the world through 
her eyes, whether cinematically or emotionally -- that you can emotionally 
move the audience. 

The Principle of Economy, or another application of Occam's Razor

William of Ockham (Latinized as Occam) proposed as an intellectual tool 
the rule that "Entities are not to be multiplied unnecessarily," or in smaller 

background image

words, the simplest explanation is usually the correct one. In drama, a 
similar rule applies. Tell your story with as few elements as possible. This 
doesn't mean avoid complication; drama is all about complication. It means 
that where you can have one character or one scene fulfilling several 
functions, that's better than having several characters or several scenes, 
each fulfilling one of the functions. Merge your characters when you can; 
merge your scenes when you can. 

As a general rule, when making up a story, one thing is better than two. 
For example, it is usually better for a hero or villain to have one goal, not 
several. Dorothy wants to get home. The goal can change: Scarlett wants to 
marry Ashley, but in the end, she only wants to save Tara. But I can't think 
of any great story where the hero wanted to do two things. This is not like 
life, where every wise person keeps several irons in the fire. But drama isn't 
like life. 

Similarly, if you are going to have a MacGuffin, you should only have one. 
The Wicked Witch wants Dorothy's shoes, and will stop at nothing to get 
them. An exception is the caper picture where, for example, in order to rob 
the train, the villains need four keys, and the getting of each one is a mini-
story in itself. But there, each mini-story is about getting one thing. 

How to adapt a book (Hitchcock Method)

Read the book once, then put it away. Figure out what about the book 
wants to be a movie. Anything that doesn't stick in your head a day later, 
shouldn't be in the outline. Don't go back to the book for specific dialog or 
scenes until you've written an outline that works as a movie. 

How to write a script based on a true story

The basic problem is, lives don't have themes, but movies do. Figure out 
what about the true story wants to be a movie, then write the outline. What 
is the theme of this life or sequence of events?

Once you've decided, write your step outline as you would any other movie. 
Don't go back to the source material until you've got an outline you're happy 
with. If it didn't stick in your head, it shouldn't be in the movie. 

Editing your scenes

Get into a scene as late as possible and still make your point, get out of it as 
soon as possible.

 What do I mean? On the simplest level, don't show the 

guy coming in the door. Start the scene with him slamming the piece of 
paper on the other guy's desk and saying "what the hell does this mean?" 

background image

Then, after a page of brilliant dialog ending in the second guy saying, "what 
could possibly go wrong?", cut straight to what goes wrong. Don't let the 
scene trail off with the guys shaking hands, etc, etc.. On a practical level, 
write the scene, then see how much of the head and tail you can lop off 
without losing anything. 

Comic books

, especially the great ones (Frank 

Miller, The Dark Night Returns, Neil Gaiman's Sandman series, are superb 
at this, because they only have 16 to 32 pages to tell a story. 
Two exceptions. 

You can get into a scene earlier in order to introduce characters you'll 
need later, or to have background information about a character come 
out, or just to establish the texture of a character's life. The forward 
motion of the scene builds as you make your main point, so the 
exposition you're doing in the beginning doesn't feel flabby. 

You can also extend a scene so that it covers two steps, or beats if 
you will, in which case your scene lengthens. But you still want to get 
out of the first half of the scene as soon as you can, and into the 
second half. 

Foreign Language Dialog

I have seen a number of systems for representing foreign language dialog, 
none of them entirely satisfactory. To my mind, the object of the 
screenwriter is to duplicate in the reader's mind as far as possible the effect 
the movie will have in the audience's mind. Writing "(subtitled)" every time a 
character speaks seems awkward: 

JOE 
(to Ilsa, subtitled)

Take this man out and shoot him.

(to Max, in English)

This gentleman will show you to
your bungalow.

If you don't write (in German) or (subtitled) every time the character speaks, 
unfortunately, the reader will quickly forget the dialog is in a foreign 
language, so you lose the nuance. 

My preference, and this is not canonical, is to establish the conceit that 
dialog written in parentheses is in a foreign language, subtitled. I stole this 
idea from Garry Trudeau's comic strip Doonesbury

background image

JOE
(to Ilsa)

        (Take this man out and shoot him.) 

(to Max)

This gentleman will show you to 
your room.

I read a script where the writer put asterisks around the dialogue, which is 
essentially the same idea. It worked as far as I'm concerned. You did not 
have to read carefully in order to know which dialogue was in Japanese; it 
was obvious. 

However, if there are not going to be subtitles, i.e. we're not supposed to 
understand what the Nazis are saying, then try to give the dialog in the 
actual language, or a reasonable approximation, if you can. This is far 
better than the alternative, which is writing the dialog in English and then 
telling us in the description that the characters are speaking Spanish. Most 
readers skim and many ignore description, which renders this technique 
useless -- they will read it as if the character is speaking English. Even if 
they are careful readers (ha!), though, your objective is, again, to duplicate 
the effect in the reader's mind that you want the director to create in the 
audience's mind. If the audience isn't supposed to understand the foreign 
language dialog (unless they happen to be bilingual), then the reader 
shouldn't, either. If you can't fake the foreign language, or just as an 
alternative, write what it sounds like: "Helmut screams briefly at the soldier, 
who mutters something apologetic and runs off." 

I would love to hear from any experienced screenwriter with another really 
good way to deal with foreign language dialog, or an opinion on the best 
way to represent a telephone conversation. 

Know your genre

What's genre? It's not just the section of the video store your movie gets 
shelved in. It's the goods you've promised the audience you'll deliver. 
For example, suppose you have a movie about a cop trying to find a killer. 
(A unique idea, I know, but I'm giving it away for free.) There is a spectrum 
of drama, suspense and action you'll find in cop movies, from the pure silly 
action of the later Lethal Weapon movies or John Woo's extravagant ballets 
of gunplay with their thirty-minute climactic gun battles, to slow, intense 
dramatics of Seven. Any drama has some action, and every good action 
movie has some good drama. They all have suspense. So how do you tell 
what genre you're in? 

background image

Genre is the goods you've promised to deliver the audience. The action 
audience comes to see action. Your action better kick ass if you've written 
an action movie. The drama is there to provide emotional underpinnings for 
the action; the suspense is there to give pacing to the action. 
On the other hand, if you're writing a drama, the audience wants to see the 
inner life of the characters. Your characters need to undergo dramatic 
stress. They will have to change and confront their inner demons. The 
action is there to provide opportunities for the characters to test themselves 
and each other. 

So, for example, Saving Private Ryan has a twenty-two minute opening 
action sequence. But it's there to define the characters' world, to show the 
hell they're living in, that they bravely embrace. The audience is not there to 
enjoy it for action's sake. The main issues are dramatic: is it worth risking 
eight lives to save one? Is it possible to remain good in the middle of a war? 
In The Dirty Dozen the 20-minute finale has just as much action, but it's 
there for action's sake; the rest of the movie is there for us to come to care 
about them deeply, so that when they die heroically, we care. The main 
issue is about action: will the Dirty Dozen wipe out the Nazi officer's club? 
Suspense is in the middle. It defines a thriller. In The Negotiator, the two 
characters going head to head are trying to manipulate each other. One is 
trying to discover who murdered his partner. The other is trying to get the 
hostages out. One wrong move and people get killed. 

Neither character changes or confronts their inner demons, so it's not a 
drama. The action is brief and explosive. We don't enjoy it for its own sake; 
it makes everything more tense. We're there to enjoy the suspense and its 
resolution. 

To get fancy for a moment, drama, suspense thrillers and action movies are 
all in 

functional

 genres: genres where what happens defines them. 

Comedy, romance and horror are genres of 

affect

. You come to a comedy 

to laugh, to a romance to be inspired with romance, and to a horror movie 
to be scared out of your wits. 

Even in the most tragic picture there can be moments of hysterical comedy. 
Even in the funniest comedy, someone may die. But in a comedy, the 
tragedy is there to add weight to the comedy; we don't laugh if we don't also 
care. In any other genre, the humor is there to add humanity to the events. 
Similarly, there may be horrific moments in any genre, but only in horror do 
we plunk down our eight bucks specifically to be horrified, and go home 
grumbling if we weren't horrified enough. And so on for romance. 

It's important to know what genre you're writing in, because screenplays go 
wrong when the writer is at odds with his or her genre. It's important, too, 

background image

because you are asking millions of real people to pay their hard-earned 
money for your vision; you better give them what they came to the movie 
for, whether it's laughs, or thrills, or poignant moments or absurdism. 
I recently read a science fiction screenplay where the writer really wanted to 
get into the head of an ambitious doctor who had perfected a technique to 
cure blindness, but created a monster. The problem was, it was at heart a 
drama; but the monstrous elements belonged to a horror movie. The drama 
audience isn't looking for monsters; the monster audience isn't interested in 
the subtle inner lives of ambitious doctors. 

The remaining genres are genres of 

environment

: science fiction films, 

fantasy films, westerns, and historical pieces -- so-called "period pieces." I 
say "so-called" because only unsuccessful are "period pieces." Successful 
movies are in their proper genre. Sense and Sensibility is a romance. 
Braveheart is an epic action-adventure. Rob Roy was a period piece. 
Obviously in a technical sense these genres can be said to mix. Alien is a 
science fiction horror movie. Unforgiven is a Western drama. 

All genres have their audiences. I, for one, will go see practically any 
science fiction movie, no matter whether it's a drama, thriller, action movie 
or comedy, unless the reviews say it really sucks the big weenie. I will be 
very upset if the science fiction in the movie does not satisfy me. I will be 
very happy if the movie creates a convincing future world and shows me 
how people live in it. The movie has to have all that other good stuff, laughs, 
whammies, tears, but if I think the SF is lame, I'm miffed, no matter how 
good a movie it is. I was really miffed at Universal Soldier for passing off a 
contemporary action-adventure piece as SF, and I was miffed at Static for 
pretending to be metaphysical when it was basically a contemporary drama. 
Similarly, if nobody in Unforgiven had fired a six-gun, if there had not been a 
saloon or a prairie, the Western fans would have gone away mad, even 
though the movie was perfect. Fortunately, Clint Eastwood is no fool. The 
movie wasn't really about saloons or prairies, it was about redemption. But it 
had all that good Western stuff for the fans. 

Don't Kill Animals On Screen, and Violence in General

Don't kill a cat or a dog or a horse on screen. It isn't done, not by good 
directors. It's a cheap and repulsive way to get an emotional effect. I will 
stop reading a screenplay where this happens. It is also extremely risky to 
kill any mammal on screen. My guess is what killed WHITE SQUALL at the 
box office was the (thematically unnecessary) sequence where a dolphin is 
bludgeoned to death on deck. The sole exception I can think of, and it's an 
illuminating one, is THE GHOST AND THE DARKNESS, where the heroes 
eventually kill the two rogue lions. But these lions have removed themselves 
from the animal kingdom by slaughtering over sixty railroad workers, far 

background image

more than they could possibly eat. They have taken themselves out of the 
realm of the natural world and made themselves monsters. 

You can, if you must, kill your animals off screen, but personally, I prefer a 
movie in which the pets have the sense to snarl at the vampire and run 
away. 

While it is perfectly all right to have an undead creature strangle the 
department store Santa to death under the neon lights, less cartoonish 
violence, especially when directed against the weak (women, children, pets) 
often throws the reader and the audience out of the movie. So, for example, 
if you have a physically abusive husband who's going to get his just 
desserts later on, you do not show him beating his wife on screen; you 
show her bruises later. You don't show a rape on screen. 

You never show someone hurting (as opposed to frightening) a child on 
screen. It is classier 

and

 emotionally more effective to show the aftermath 

of extreme violence than the violence itself. In Conan the Barbarian, a fine 
film not otherwise noted for its understatement, we don't see little Conan's 
mother get her head whacked off by Thulsa Doom. We see little Conan's 
face as he holds her hand; the sword swings; her hand lets go of his; and 
he looks up at her with a child's incomprehension. 

The main exception is where the abuse or rape is the subject of a drama, 
for example The Burning Bed or The Accused. Generally the filmmaker will 
try to show the horrible events in quick cuts, or behind a curtain. You can 
write a scene so it is clear that we will not dwell on what is too painful to 
watch. It is also much easier to see realistic violence on the tv screen than 
in a movie theater. 

Science Fiction and Fantasy

Don't just write for the science fiction and fantasy audiences!

 Don't create a 

world too far removed from our own. The most successful SF movies 
introduce an sf element into our contemporary world. ("No, I'm from 
Kansas," says Captain Kirk. "I just work in outer space.") Think of 
Independence Day, Stargate, Predator, Terminator, T2, Starman, ET, Close 
Encounters, Star Trek IV
. Everyone can relate to the contemporary 
background and characters, and can put themselves in the shoes of an 
ordinary modern person confronting a space alien. 

The next most successful science fiction movies create a future very similar 
to our own, but warped by one major science fiction element. Blade Runner 
is set in a film noir LA not far removed from modern Tokyo or Bangkok, 
except that (sf element) there are superhuman androids on the run and 

background image

Deckard has to retire them. Outland is High Noon on (sf element) a mining 
colony on Ganymede. 

As you can tell from the examples above, these movies also fall back on 
familiar genre plots and characters. We may not be personally familiar with 
the Old West, but we recognize Sean Connery's character in Outland from a 
dozen westerns. 

What novice writers 

love

 to do is create a whole world full of things named 

the Vogon and the planet Utapau and the Journal of the Whills and the 
Bendu of Ashla and so on. These movies never get made, because only the 
science fiction audience loves to plunge wholeheartedly into a different 
world with a different social structure, different laws of physics, different 
history, and deeply meaningful names that you never heard of before. 

... these movies 

almost never

 get made, I should say. The above names 

were all invented by a novice writer named George Lucas for an early draft 
of something called The Star Wars. However, I must point out that for many, 
many years no one would touch the script, because it was (in the draft I'm 
referring to) practically unreadable. Fortunately for all of us, American 
Graffiti
 convinced Alan Ladd, Jr., then boss of 20th Century Fox, that 
George Lucas could do anything he believed in... and then no one believed 
the picture would make money, even up to the first preview screenings. 

There are no rules, but you break them at your peril. 

I believe that a science fiction script set in this world wants to have no more 
than one science fiction element, one which can be summed up in a few 
words. Dinosaurs can be cloned from fossilized DNA. An alien child is left on 
Earth by accident. An electronic intelligence takes over the computers on a 
science ship. You don't want to have two. For example, if you have aliens in 
your contemporary movie, don't have intelligent robots, and vice versa. 
Once you've established that sf element, the farther away from our reality 
you take the picture, the less effective it is going to be. 

An audience becomes alienated when one thing after another takes them 
out of their reality. Instead, keep the rest of the story as real as possible. If 
dino cloning exists, what will people do with it? Try to make money off it, is 
what. In other words, the standard for realism and believability is higher in 
science fiction, not lower. If someone in a romantic comedy does something 
wildly unpredictable, I'm not worried,that's just the character. If a character 
in a science fiction thriller does something unrealistic, my suspension of 
disbelief starts to get sore. 

If your story takes place in the future, or in a fantasy world, then your job is 
slightly different: make sure that the world is internally consistent, and make 

background image

sure that the characters in it are compelling and believable within their own 
world. 

I like a fantasy or sf movie to have a moral or metaphysical theme. I believe 
that's what grounds sf and fantasy in present reality: what we are seeing is 
not literally true, but it is emotionally and morally true. An sf or fantasy piece 
that has no metaphysical theme, to me, is less real to me than one with 
one, because it has no connection with my reality. 

Using hindsight, I would argue that Star Wars worked because it cribbed a 
lot of genre conventions, but from an unexpected genre: the universal hero 
legend made famous by Joseph Campbell in The Hero With A Thousand 
Faces
. It has a legendary theme with which we are familiar. (Supposedly it 
is based on Akira Kurosawa's The Hidden Fortress, but the similarities are 
only in the plot.) 

Star Trek appears at first to be a special case. It was conceived of as 
"Wagon Train in Space," but it didn't make it to the big screen until twenty 
years after the show had become a cultural phenomenon. But if you think 
about it, it's really just a story about a US Navy ship in the South Pacific, 
given some science fiction elements. We already know what a ship captain 
is, a first officer, a ship's doctor (and Bones was just a revision of an "old 
country doctor" DeForrest Kelley had played in a dozen Westerns already). 
Everything you need to know to understand the show can be contained in a 
short blurb: "These are the voyages of the starship Enterprise, its five year 
mission to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life and new 
civilizations, to boldly go where no man has gone before." One moral of the 
story is, unless you have already written and directed one surprise hit, and 
know a studio head, or are basing your movie on a cultural phenomenon 
that everyone has seen in reruns, keep the science fiction aspects down to 
what can be explained in one phrase. "Nasty aliens invade the world." "An 
alien child is left behind by accident and ..." "There's a mine on Ganymede 
and..." Not (George again): 

                         The REPUBLIC GALACTICA is dead.  Ruthless
                        trader barons, driven by greed and the
                        lust for power, have replaced enlightenment
                        with oppression, and "rule by the people"
                        with the FIRST GALACTIC EMPIRE.
 
                        Until the tragic Holy Rebellion of "06",
                        the respected JEDI BENDU OF ASHLA were the
                        most powerful warriors in the Universe.
                        For a hundred thousand years, generations
                        of Jedi Bendu knights learned the ways of

background image

                        the mysterious FORCE OF OTHERS, and acted
                        as the guardians of peace and justice in
                        the REPUBLIC.  Now these legendary warriors
                        are all but extinct.  One by one they have
                        been hunted down and destroyed by a fero-
                        cious rival sect of mercenary warriors:
                        THE BLACK KNIGHTS OF THE SITH.
 
                        It is a period of civil wars.  The EMPIRE
                        is crumbling into lawless barbarism through-
                        out the million worlds of the galaxy. From
                        the celestial equator to the farthest
                        reaches of the GREAT RIFT, seventy small
                        solar systems have united in a common war
                        against the tyranny of the Empire.  Under
                        the command of a mighty Jedi warrior known
                        as THE STARKILLER, the REBEL ALLIANCE has
                        won a crushing victory over the deadly
                        Imperial Star Fleet.  The Empire knows that
                        one more such defeat will bring a thousand
                        more solar systems into the rebellion, and
                        Imperial control of the Outlands could be
                        lost forever...

Too much. The brain can only hold so many facts! 

Obviously, there are successful fantasy movies which create whole worlds. 
But they are rarely successful unless they are based on bestselling books, 
e.g. Conan, Princess Bride, Interview with a Vampire, or legends everyone 
already knows, e.g. Excalibur, Company of Wolves, or monsters we love, 
e.g. Dragonslayer, An American Werewolf in London. One could argue that 
Willow, Legend, Dragonheart, The Dark Crystal, Labyrinth and many other 
major fantasy pictures flopped because the audience had to learn too many 
new facts about their world during the course of the movie. 

By the way, the rules for science fiction have their corollary in thrillers. 
Thrillers are about extraordinary things happening to ordinary people. 
There should really only be one extraordinary thing happening in the a 
thriller, and out of that arises all the other extraordinary things. DonÕt have 
two or more unlikely things in your premise. Everything should flow in 
plausible, logical directions from the premise. 

What grounds a science fiction or fantasy script in reality? I believe it is the 
emotional or moral truth at its core. A horror movie may violate the laws of 
physics, but if it speaks to a moral truth that we all have to deal with, it feels 

background image

real. For example, we all think we're good people, and yet we are 
possessed from time to time by urges that cause us to hurt those we love. 
That is the essential moral truth at the heart of the werewolf genre; the only 
difference is that when the werewolf gets these urges, he's furry on the 
outside. The seductiveness of death is at the heart of the vampire genre. 
If your science fiction script is about someone feeling excluded because 
they're an alien, then we can all relate to its emotional truth, because we've 
felt like an alien and been excluded. 

If your science fiction script has neither an emotional truth nor a moral truth 
at its center, then you have Starship Troopers, and you better hope you 
have state-of-the-art special effects or no one is going to come to your 
movie. 

Some thoughts on Period Pieces

Period pieces are very difficult to get made, because successful period 
pieces are not perceived as period pieces. Rob Roy, a flop, was perceived 
as a period piece. Braveheart, which grossed $166 million domestic, was 
perceived as an action adventure, or possibly a Mel Gibson movie. If it had 
flopped, it would have been a period piece. Ditto Sense and Sensibility
Schindler's ListSaving Private RyanShakespeare in Love, which were 
perceived as a romance, a Holocaust movie, a war movie and a comic 
romance. Flops are perceived as period pieces when they are just bad 
movies (cf Restoration). Of course, part of this may be because successful 
movies are almost never about their period (Schindler being a partial 
exception), but about human stories that happen to take place in a certain 
period. 

The more cynical reason might be that product placement is all but 
impossible in a period piece. 

Get the details right. The audience doesn't know, but it knows when you get 
it wrong. 

However, the piece isn't about the details, it's about the people. The 
audience shouldn't have to know much about the period to appreciate it -- 
no more than can be put in a title crawl ("Long, long ago, in a galaxy far, far 
away ..."). 

The hardest thing is getting the dialogue right. People in the 16th Century 
did not speak in archaic English, they spoke the very latest up to the date 
modern 16th Century English. To get the same sense of modernity, don't be 
afraid to use contractions, sentence fragments, just like now. 
You can and should use slang, but it must be modern slang that 

could

  

background image

have existed then. "Dude" is unacceptable. "Poxy whoreson dog" is period-
accurate, but audiences won't know if them's fighting words or just kidding. 
But "son of a bitch" is a timeless sentiment. 

Look at how well the dialog works in Braveheart: "My Father says he can 
get me out of this ... but he's pretty sure you're fucked." 

The key to a great period piece is to show real people we'd want to be with 
who operate in a world that is different from our own, where honor is worth 
fighting over, and men were brave and women were pure ... or however you 
see it. The people are timeless; their goals and the obstacles in their way 
are of the period. D'Artagnan is a romantic adventurer (timeless) who wants 
to save the Queen's honor (period -- these days he'd want to elope with 
her). Wallace is a romantic adventurer (timeless) who wants to liberate 
Scotland from an evil English king (period). 

Same goes for period dramas, period tragedies, period anything. The 
period is no more than a background to a human drama. The period makes 
for a richer cloth, but the weaving must still be passions, vices, lies, hopes, 
frustrations, greed, love, pride and mercy -- the stuff that dreams are made 
of. 

A brief rant about readers.

The first step in the gauntlet any script runs, unless it's backed by very 
powerful people, is the "reader." The reader is someone getting paid $50 to 
read the script and write a synopsis and comments. If the reader says the 
script isn't worth reading, the odds are it will not get read. Executives, 
producers and talent hire readers because they get hundreds or thousands 
of scripts flung at them every year, and they don't have the time to give all 
of them a careful read. 

Who are the readers? Generally, they are kids recently out of college or film 
school with a good grasp of expository writing and an inflated idea about 
how much they know about what makes a movie worth seeing and worth 
making. There are a few readers in a union who work for the studios and 
get paid a decent living, and have some experience at least reading scripts, 
but for the majority of readers, it is their first job in movies. 

The most powerful agency in town, CAA, is notorious for having scripts read 
by its mailroom staff, who tend to be highly intelligent, ambitious lawyers, 
MBA's and Ivy grads working 14 hour days for $250 a week. After a 14 hour 
day, how much attention do they pay to their scripts? Let's just say that one 
script we submitted to CAA was rejected as an incompetent, pompous piece 
of drivel by the reader. We eventually managed to get the wise and 

background image

generous agent Martin Baum to read it himself. He sent it to Oscar-winning 
director Richard Attenborough, who signed on to develop and direct the 
picture. It is a mystery to the rest of the business why CAA, the most 
powerful agency in town, is infamous among writers, producers and 
directors for having the most arrogant and careless readers in the business, 
but they probably feel that if you don't have the clout to get your script read 
by an agent personally, you have no business submitting a script to CAA. 
My first job in Hollywood was as a reader for Carolco. I read perhaps forty 
scripts, for $45 a pop. I rejected a few pictures that went on to get made 
elsewhere -- Pascali's Island comes to mind -- although I can't say that any 
of them made money, unless, like Vampire's Kiss, they were radically 
changed. I got fired when I savaged a script by Oscar-winning writer Horton 
Foote (To Kill A Mockingbird) that had fading star Molly Ringwald attached. I 
still think it was a boring, boring script, and it's never been made since. But 
what did I know? I had just finished film school. I had no idea of the 
mechanics of how a film gets packaged and financed. I had no experience 
reading scripts. I had only written one or two scripts myself. My old school 
chum Jeff Kleeman (now a young mogul) was kind enough to give me the 
job. 

What are the lessons from this? I don't know, it's just the way it is. Readers 
are supposed not to like flashbacks; I suppose this means they would have 
rejected Casablanca and The Fugitive? They are also rumored not to like 
voice overs, apparently something they learned in film school. 
However, bear in mind when you are writing that if you are not 
communicating your movie in an immediately arresting and visual way, the 
reader is not going to be wise enough to rescue your pearl of an idea from 
the calcium carbonate of your prose. You must succeed in turning your 
reader's critical brain off; you must seduce her into becoming a member of 
the audience again. Good luck! 

Here is a reader's report I wrote about an excellent script that still has not 
been produced. 

Some words to live by.

"There are no rules, but you break them at your peril." -- a professor who 
wishes to remain nameless. 

"It is a rare man who succeeds in the face of comfort." -- Terry Rossio. 

"Find the truth." - Joanne Baron. When you look at a performance or a 
movie or a work of art, look for what is good and true in it, not what doesn't 
work. Rather than homing in on what doesn't work, look for the truth and 
make that expand to fill all the hollows and empty spaces. 

background image

"Kill your darlings." - Picasso, or maybe Faulkner. You have to be ready to 
brutally sacrifice those beautiful moments, moving scenes and brilliant lines 
of dialog when they don't forward the movie. Often they are what's in the 
way of your seeing what's wrong. If something's not working, and you have 
a line, scene or moment you desperately love, take it out and try to make 
the piece work without it. You may be surprised. 

"If I'm bored [writing a scene], the audience will be." - top screenwriter 
Jeffrey Boam. 

"If I had had more time, I would have written a shorter letter." -- Cicero, I 
think. 

Some Comments On Screenplays

You may find these comments on screenplays instructive even without 
reading the screenplays.

*

Science fiction 

*

Comedy. 

*

Fantasy / science fiction 

*

Drama. 

The best beginning screenwriting material I've found is John Truby's story 
structure class. He gives seminars, and sells books and tapes. He 
advertises in the trades now and then. I bet he has a web site by now. 
There are many 

other links 

at the Muse of Fire Home Page, including 

downloadable actor/director/agent/price lists, a hotlist, a filmmaking FAQ, 
and notes about copyrighting screenplays. 

This document is 

© Copyright 1999 by Alex Epstein,

 all rights reserved. It 

may be freely quoted and / or copied, provided I am properly cited, and this 
copyright notice is not removed. Permission subject to revocation by author 
without notice.

©

 The British Screenwriting institute. 2000-03-02. 

You may freely distribute this eBook  on line, upload it to 

newsgroups, or give it away. (Providing the contact and copyright information is kept inact)

Write to us at  scripts@gofree.indigo.ie  or visit our website at

http://www.thebritishscreenwritinginstitute.co.uk

Digitally signed by Nicholas Dunning
cn=Nicholas Dunning, o=Sugar Pictures Ltd, c=UK
Date: 2001.05.01 22:29:40 +01'00'
Reason: I am approving this document
BSI Dublin/London