A Matter of Convenience
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Chapter 1 to 8
Author's Note: When I started writing Twilight fanfic - Lo! an entire month ago - I didn't
intend on doing an all-human story. So naturally that's exactly what I wound up writing.
And, of course, I had to pick the most preposterous scenario to write about. Which makes
it all more fun!
Disclaimer: I'm not Stephanie Meyer, I don't own these characters or Twilight. :sobs quietly
into the corner:
Between men and women there is no friendship possible.
There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship.
Oscar Wilde
Chapter 1
I impatiently checked my watch for the fifth time since leaving work. I was getting close to
being late for an important appointment and was starting to get anxious about missing it
altogether.
I should have taken a cab, I thought as the bus stopped to let off a few shoppers. This is
ridiculous, why are the stops so close to each other? The bus sped up to the speed limit
only to slow down almost immediately to take on more passengers at the next stop. I
thought taking the bus would be fast enough, but I'd forgotten about the rush hour traffic.
Frustrated, I stood up and pushed my way through the commuters and hopped off
before the driver could close the doors. My foot caught the edge of the curb which
nearly sent me sprawling but I managed to stay upright. Quickly gathering my bearings I
headed north against the tide of humans running against me. When I reached the corner I
realized that I'd gone the wrong way.
Growling and so angry I was very near tears I turned around and headed back the way I
had come. I flipped open my cell phone and punched my best friend's number on speed
dial. “I was insane moving back here!” I cried, out of breath from running, when Alice
picked up. “The traffic is a mess and there's nothing affordable within a fifty-mile radius.
What was I thinking, listening to you?”
“That you wanted to spend more time with your friends and family,” Alice said sweetly.
“You think that, Alice. OK, I'm completely lost now. How do I get to Elliott Avenue?” I
asked, brushing away the hair that was sticking to my face.
“Where are you now?”
“I...” I looked around for a sign or an address on a building, anything that would tell me
where I was. “I have no idea. Why don't I recognize anything? Seattle hasn't changed
that much while I was away. Geez!”
Chapter: 1
Alice chuckled on the other end. “Just head west, Bella. When you fall into the Puget
you'll know you've gone too far.”
“Could you be any more unhelpful?” I asked petulantly.
“I can't help you if you can't tell me where you are,” she pointed out. “Do you see anything
familiar now?”
I reached the end of the block and saw the water out in front of me.
“Um, yes. I'm a few blocks away from the Sound.” I hurried around the corner and ran
across the street with the light. “Yes, it's there! I see it! Alice, thank you!” I cried,
relieved now that I could see my destination.
“I'm so glad I could help,” Alice said lightly. “Where are you going again?”
“I told you last night I was looking at an apartment after work. And now I'm...” I glanced
at my watch, panting with the effort from running. “I'm twenty minutes late! Darn it! It's
probably been rented by now.”
“I doubt that, Bella. And you know you're more than welcome to stay with me and Jasper
for as long as you need,” she said kindly.
I slowed down to a brisk walk trying to regain my breath, “Thank you, Alice, but I've been
staying with you for three weeks and I'm feeling very third-wheelish.” The apartment
building was only a few yards ahead. I could see a small crowd of people heading towards
me. I was bound to get caught up in it so I moved closer to the wall to avoid them.
“Oh well, we can start looking for a boyfriend for you just as soon as you get settled.”
Oh no, not another round of The Love Connection Bella-Style! I skidded to a halt just
outside of the glass doors of the apartment complex. I was more than late for the
appointment, but Alice on a mission was just slightly more formidable than trying to find
housing in a competitive market. I could always sleep in Lincoln Square if I had to. Lots of
people did.
“Alice,” I hissed loudly, trying to talk on the phone and struggle with one of the large
double doors and my satchel all at the same time. “I've got a brand new job and I just
moved across country – again.” I finally managed to get the door open, “Don't you dare
set me up with anyone! Oh, I'm so sorry!”
As I yanked the door open I managed to knock into the person in back of me, setting off a
chain reaction. I dropped my satchel and my phone went flying out of my hand. The man
I'd bumped into dropped what he was holding and grabbed me by my waist, keeping me
upright, but I still managed to step on both of his feet before I could regain my balance.
I felt my face go red with embarrassment. This was so typical of me. Apologizing
profusely, I stooped to gather up the things I dropped, papers scattered everywhere. I
could see something fluttering around the corner of the building and into the street. I
hoped it wasn't important.
Alice was screaming out of the phone by then, “Bella, what was that? Are you alright? Bella?”
“I'm fine, Alice... I just... had an accident. Hang on!” I yelled back as I grabbed what I
could from the ground.
Just then a rich, velvety voice chuckled in my ear, “You haven't changed at all, Bella Swan.”
I gasped in shock. I knew that voice. I'd used to dream about it so often that I nearly
programmed myself to hallucinate about it. Blushing furiously I looked up into the blazing
green eyes of my old high school crush - Edward Cullen.
I blinked, staring at him stupidly. “Um. Hi.”
He smiled crookedly at me from his own crouching position scooping up papers, his thick
bronze hair glinted in the sunlight. I nearly stopped breathing – he was just as perfect as
when I had last seen him, six years ago. And here he was again, victim to my
extraordinary ability to trip over air. I chocked down a groan. It wasn't the first time he
had suffered from my clumsiness.
I'd been expecting to see him – just not quite like this. Alice and her boyfriend, Jasper
maintained contact with him throughout college and they'd mentioned that, like me,
Edward had recently relocated back to Washington. I knew Alice was planning a sort of
mini reunion with all our high school friends some time soon. At this point I was still
debating on whether or not to be out of town that weekend.
I did a quick survey of the mess I'd caused and groaned. The top of my satchel must have
burst open because everything I had stuffed in it was now scattered all over. I said a
quick prayer of thanks that I wasn't having my period that week. All I needed to
complete my humiliation was a couple of tampons lying out where anyone could see
them. Edward's damage wasn't as bad but now his things were mixed up with mine.
I sighed. “I'm so sorry, Edward.” I started stuffing everything back into my bag to keep
more papers from blowing away in the wind. We'd have to sort through it inside where
we'd be out of the way from the swarms of people moving around.
He grinned at me, also filling up his computer bag randomly. “You remember me! I'm flattered.”
“Of course I remember you. We spent four years in high school together.” I blushed
some more not realizing how that could have been taken out of context until after I
blurted it out. Forget the apartment. I'll just crawl into a hole and die.
He only chuckled and finished gathering everything up. He rose gracefully, shrugging the
strap of his bag onto his shoulder then reached out a hand to help me up.
I stared at it for a brief second before I took it. Edward had played the piano from grade
school and the practice gave him such beautifully expressive hands and fingers and
sculptured forearms. I'd found them a turn-on ever since our junior year when I sat next
to him biology and, trying not to look directly at him – or at least trying not to be obvious
that I was looking at him - I'd spent almost all my time just watching the way his hands
moved. As my I touched him I felt an electric shock course through me.
Jolted, I let go as soon as I was standing upright.
“Sorry.” He glanced at the phone on the ground - Alice still shouting at me from it - and
back at me. “You forgot something.”
I panicked, “Oh no! Alice!” I picked it up and started apologizing again, “I'm sorry, I
dropped the phone. Look, I'll call you back later, I have to do some damage control first.”
I could feel Edward laughing silently next to me. He was standing so close I could almost
taste him. No! No, no, no, no! Don't go there, Swan, I thought.
“What happened? Who was that?” she asked.
“You'll never believe it. I'll see you later, okay?” I pleaded.
“Relax, Bella. Good luck with the apartment,” she said before hanging up.
I flipped the phone shut and noticed the fall had cracked the casing. I'd have to get a
new one. Again. Perfect. I shoved it into my bag and turned back to Edward who politely
held the door open for me.
“Thank you,” I said as we walked through to the lobby.
Once we were inside we both started rifling through our things, handing over anything
that didn't belong in our bags. Edward continued to walk slowly and I had to follow as best
I could but obviously doing three things at once was beyond my abilities.
“It's been a long time since I've seen you. How've you been?” he asked me as we sorted
things out.
“I've been... great!” I tried to sound chipper but inside I was wondering how I looked. My
frantic rush to get here left me a sweaty mess. My hair had also managed to come
mostly undone from the loose ponytail I'd put it in that morning. There were strands of
hair hanging in my face and down my neck. I must have looked like an escaped lunatic.
“What about you?” I asked.
“Great.” He mimicked, smiling down at me with a glimmer of humor in his eyes; and then it
was as if we were back in high school again and my heart pounded violently against my
chest, my palms got sweaty and the telltale flush of embarrassment blazed over my face.
He definitely didn't look like a wreck.
I quickly glanced away, fumbling with the strap on my satchel.
“Where are you headed?” he asked me.
I nodded towards the office which was enclosed all in glass to afford a view of the front
lobby. “Just there. But I'm late, he's probably gone now.”
He walked with me and held the door open. We were close together, still handing things
back and forth, his hand grazing mine ever so slightly.
Sitting behind the desk was a man who looked up at us and smiled. He glanced at the clock
on his desk and at a ledger in front of him, “Edward Cullen?” he asked, standing up and
holding out his hand. “I'm Joe Murry, rental agent of The Lofts.”
I glanced up at him, surprised. Was Edward looking for an apartment too? Did I just lose
mine to him? Figures. I sighed in defeat.
Edward put out his hand and shook the manager's hand. “Nice to meet you.” He gestured
to me. “This is Bella Swan.”
I smiled nervously at him and shook his hand. “I'm late. I'm sorry.”
Joe smiled, “That's okay, we're all here now. The manager must have been mixed up
because she had the two of you down for different times.” He glanced back down to his
ledger, “And for a studio? That can't be right. We do have a recent vacancy on the third
floor. One bedroom, one bath and it you can see the Space Needle...”
“What?” I exclaimed.
“Excuse me?” Edward asked.
I stared in amazement, my mouth open to speak but I couldn't find the words. Does this
guy think we're together? Seriously? I almost laughed, it was so absurd. Incredulously, I
looked up at Edward. He had a peculiar expression on his face and I couldn't tell if he
was amused or insulted at Joe's assumption. His eyes were brightened and stared at me as
if he was trying to read my thoughts.
Trying to break the spell he was putting me under, I snatched the rest of my papers
from Edward's hands and shoved them into my bag. “Um, Mr. Murry,” I began. “I think
there's been a mistake-”
Edward broke in before I could set the record straight, “What Bella means, Mr. Murry, is
that we're looking for a larger two bedroom, two bath apartment,” his voice oozed persuasion.
“What?” I repeated, astonished.
He leaned down and whispered, his breath tickling my ear, “It'll be fine. Just play along.” I
just stared at him.
Joe looked over the available apartments, “Let's see. How about the top floor
overlooking the Sound?”
I blinked. “I-”
Edward quickly interrupted me again, “It sounds perfect. When can we take a look?”
Joe unlocked one of the drawers in his desk and rifled through the envelopes until he
reached the right one. “Right now. Follow me, the elevators are just over here.”
Stunned, I looked up at Edward and said the only thing I could think of: “What?”
Joe led us back into the lobby toward the elevators. Edward placed his hand lightly on my
back and I shuffled along, helplessly. The contact made my confusion even worse as I
snatched quick peeks at his face, wondering what he was thinking. The strange
expression was still there, as was an intent look in his eyes.
Could he be that desperate to find a place to live? I wondered. Why are we even doing
this? This is ridiculous!
As Joe talked about the amenities that The Lofts had to offer tenants, I stared out of the
elevator at the street below. I heard nothing of what he was saying. I was too
hyper-aware of Edward's contact with my back and trying to get my brain to function
enough so I could extract myself from this absurd situation. I glanced at Edward for a
fraction of a second and nearly lost it. He was leaning back against the handrail casually,
so close to me that I could see his vein rapidly throbbing on the side his neck. Mesmerized,
I felt a sudden urge to suck on it.
I bit down on my lips hard to keep myself from jumping him there in the elevator.
We reached the fifth floor and were led down a long brightly-lit hallway to apartment
518. Joe took the key out of the envelope and opened the door. Edward let me walk in
first, then followed with Joe right behind.
The apartment, just as Edward had said, was perfect. Facing west toward Puget Sound,
it was open and light with floor-to-ceiling windows and a large fireplace. The dining area
was connected to it, doubling the size. Off the living room was a balcony from which we
could see the ferries and tour boats glide by. I snuck a peek at Edward, who was staring at me.
“Well?” he asked me. “What do you think?”
I tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. “Um. It's nice, but...”
Joe interrupted, “The kitchen is to your left.” He walked out of the entryway and, like a
lamb to the slaughter, I followed along with Edward trailing behind me. “Do either of you
cook?” he asked.
“Nope,” Edward said with a grin.
“Yes.” I said at the same time.
Joe smiled. “The gourmet kitchen is very accommodating with all Energy Star appliances
and plenty of cabinet space. Granite counter tops, tumbled marble back splash,
double-sided fridge, professional gas range,” he pointed out.
Interested, I looked at the kitchen and thought Joe was overstating it. Professional gas
range, my foot.
He moved on, “And over here we have the master bedroom.”
Again I followed behind, him unable to stop this weird delusion. Glancing around, I was
taking in details of the apartment. It was definitely bigger than I needed and probably
three times more than what I could afford to pay in rent. It was like test driving a Jaguar
before buying a Corolla.
The master bedroom was huge compared to what I was used to and it also overlooked
the Sound. I immediately imagined myself in it, which was a foolish thing to do because
there was no way I was going to live here. Even after everything was explained to Joe
and he showed us the smaller apartments, I still would be unable to live in this building
because I would die of embarrassment every time I passed the front office.
“And here's the bathroom,” Joe said, as he opened the wide door and I stepped out into Oz.
“Ooo!” I couldn't help it. The bathroom was gorgeous - with a large jetted tub, and a
separate shower big enough for two people to fit in it. The toilet was tucked away in it's
own space and a long counter top with double sinks stretched along the back wall. There
was more marble on the floor. I'd probably slip and break my neck if I walked on it
barefoot. High up over the tub was a window letting in the brilliant sunlight. Not thinking
twice, I kicked off my shoes and stepped into the tub. “Mmm...” I slid down and leaned
my head back.
“She likes the tub!” Edward's deep voice washed over me.
My eyes flew open and I felt the flush rise slowly from my chest into my cheeks as
Edward stared down at me, his hands in his pockets and a gleeful look on his face.
“Sorry.” I sat up and scrambled for purchase to stand up.
Joe chuckled. “Actually, most women do that. Some men, too. Shall I show you the rest of
the place or should I leave you two alone to go over it and discuss things in private?”
I was still in the tub so I looked up at Edward, curious to hear what he'd say.
He was looking at me with a smirk - hands deep in his pockets, computer bag casually
hanging from his shoulder – the absolute picture of ease. “Well, Mr. Murry, if you don't
mind I think we would like to talk for a bit. What do you think, Bella?”
I stroked my hands softly against the top of the tub and nodded quickly.
“Very well, then. I'll just leave the apartment details on the kitchen counter and let myself
out. See you downstairs.”
We waited until we heard the door close before speaking.
“What?” I asked for the fourth time.
“You say that a lot. Funny, I remembered you as being more articulate than this.” His
crooked smile was very much in evidence.
Oh, he was definitely enjoying my embarrassment! And he was a lousy liar, too, because I
distinctly remembered being too dazzled by him speak coherently. I huffed at him and
stood up. “You're being ridiculous.” I brought one foot out of the tub but stumbled as I
tried to climb all the way out.
Edward caught me again and set me down on the tile. “One thing's for sure, you'll never
be able to take a bath by yourself without breaking your neck.”
I gaped at him, “Are you trying to be funny?”
“That depends. Did you think it was funny?” He lifted an eyebrow at me.
I wanted to lick it.
Instead I grabbed the strap of my bag and pulled it back onto my shoulder. “No, I thought
it was juvenile.”
“Did you want to look at the rest of the place?” He asked me quietly, no longer smiling.
I dropped my shoulders in defeat. “What would be the point; I can't afford it. It's nice
though. I like the tub,” I said looking back up at him and grinning slyly. “Are iyou/i going to
take it?”
His eyes flashed, “If I do would you come over and take a bath?”
My breath caught in my throat. Was Edward Cullen flirting with me? I didn't know what to
think so I answered as playfully as I could, “Maybe.” My heart felt like I had just run a
marathon. I needed to sit before I passed out.
Abruptly I turned and walked back to the living room. The sun was just starting to set
over the water and I had a perfect view. I didn't want to leave until after it set. I felt
Edward come to stand next to me.
We stood there in silence as the sky gradually flamed brilliantly before darkening into a
soft purple twilight. I could see lights twinkling on Bainbridge Island. The apartment was
now enveloped in darkness and stupidly I imagined what it would be like if I was renting it
with Edward, that we were really a couple and we were starting a life together.
Stupid high school crush. I thought I was over it! What was wrong with me?
I wrapped my arms around myself and turned to look at him again. It was hard to tell in
the dark room what his expression was. I hoped he couldn't read mine. I watched him,
waiting for him to speak first.
After a few minutes he spoke, his voice low in the dark. “All right, just listen to what I
have to say and keep an open mind.”
Intrigued, I said, “Okay.” I wondered what he was thinking.
He walked to the wall and turned on the ceiling fan light. The bright light blinded me
briefly. I had to blink my eyes rapidly before they could adjust.
I watched Edward's graceful stride as he went to the kitchen to grab the specs on the
apartment and brought it back. He held up the blue and gold folder and smiled crookedly.
Did he know what that particular smile did to me? I cocked my head to the side, waiting
for him to begin.
He opened the folder and drew out some papers. The top one had the details on rent
and he made a passing glance at it. I imagined he was doing some mental calculations. I
remembered he'd been good at math in school. He looked away from the sheet and
stared at the wall for a moment, deep in thought. Absently he ran a hand through his
hair making it a complete and gorgeous mess.
Then he took a deep breath and looked up at me, eyes blazing. He handed me the paper.
“I can afford half of the rent. What about you?”
I looked at the figures named and did some quick thinking. Half would be more than what
a studio cost but not too much. It would be doable if Alice stopped taking me shopping
every weekend. I nodded my head and looked up at him. “But I still don't see-”
“Okay, here's the deal,” he interrupted. “We both need an apartment. I travel a lot and I
like to know my stuff is safe. Plus you'll have privacy. This way, we both get a nice big
apartment and we can save money by splitting expenses. We've known each other for a
long time. We have mutual friends so you know I'm not a scary monster...”
Right, the only thing scary about him was the way he made my insides turn to goo with
just the sound of his voice. What did that matter? But he was still talking and I was missing it.
“...I'm not a slob and you can cook.”
I just stood there with a peculiar look on my face. Was that English he was speaking?
Was he suggesting what I think he's suggesting or had I gone mad? “You're saying we
should... move in? Together?” My head was swimming. “We barely even know other!”
“What do you mean? We were in high school together for four years,” he pointed out,
eyes twinkling.
I snorted, surprising him. “That's completely different and you know it.”
“You know you can trust me,” he said softly.
“Yes, of course.” And I did know that. Edward had always been quiet and reserved
though not unpopular. He had been good friends with Jasper, who happened to be Aliec's
boyfriend, so we were around each other peripherally. I was too shy to approach him but
I was there. Sometimes I thought he noticed me as more than a casual acquaintance;
but he never said anything and I was too chicken. I watched him constantly during my
teenage years. Other girls obsessed over movie stars and singers, I obsessed with
Edward Cullen.
I was so pathetic.
And in all four years of high school Edward Cullen had a reputation of being a complete
gentleman. The few girls he made time for – and I had desperately wanted to be one of
them - all talked about how wonderful he'd been. But he never used and tossed anyone
away, like some others at school would have if they'd had his looks and talent. I wouldn't
have to worry about him trying to do anything inappropriate.
Dammit.
I looked down, twisting my hands in knots, “I feel like I've been inserted into Bizarro World.”
He chuckled. Then, suddenly serious, “You'd be safe with me, Bella.”
I looked up quickly, my world crashing down around me. “You're gay?” I asked, horror-stricken.
“What?” he exclaimed just as horrified as I was. “No, I'm not gay. Let's just leave it at
that.” Embarrassed, he looked away.
I tried to think of something to say but every conventional topic was eluding me at the
moment. I glanced at the kitchen.
“Do you really expect me to cook for you?” I asked him, eyebrows raised slightly.
“Does that mean you'll agree to move in with me?” He countered, his beautiful face beaming.
I bit my lip, thoughtfully. It would be the most stupid decision I could make, moving in
with Edward Cullen. I hadn't seen him in six years and we weren't the closest of friends
before. But it would also be – nearly – a dream come true. I knew that the idea of us
becoming anything more than just friends was about as remote as me winning the lottery
but thought of waking up every morning with the possibility of seeing his face had
gripped me ever since we walked into the apartment.
I had thought I'd gotten over my crush but the past hour and my pounding heart had
proved otherwise. Living in the same apartment with him even platonically would
probably make me a pile of mush before one week was out. I'd have to do some serious
hiding of my feelings. He must never, ever know how much I wanted him if I was to pull
this off. I'd need to be very calm and very cool in his presence, reserving the right to go
completely ga-ga in the privacy of my own room. With the door locked. And maybe a
towel stuffed in the crack under the door.
Trying to think of all the pros and cons of Edward's plan, I stared at the floor,
deliberating. The cons were numerous, starting with the barely knowing each other
factor and going down the list, ending with my obvious attraction to him. The pros would
be: Well, I would get to see Edward daily. I tried to concentrate but I couldn't.
Berber carpet. That's nice, I mused, distracted. Then I looked up and saw Edward staring
at me, his beautiful face serious and intent, green eyes blazing. It completely undid me. I
felt a small smile form on my lips. “Yes, I'll do it.”
It was impossible that I just said that aloud. But I must have done because a glorious
smile broke out on Edward's face. I smiled back. “But we have to decide who gets what room.”
He laughed, “You can have the big bedroom. I don't think I could take that tub away from
you. It'd be like kicking a puppy.”
I grimaced. “No. That's not fair. We'll toss a coin for it.” I sat down and upended my bag,
dumping out the contents on the floor.
Edward just looked at me, amusement written over his face, but he sat down as well.
“I'm going to have to reorganize it later anyway,” I explained as I located my wallet,
fishing a quarter out. “You call,” I said as I flipped the coin, catching it in my hand and
slapping it down on my arm.
“Heads.”
I peeked and made a face. “It's heads.”
He chuckled. “We can always do two out of three.”
“No! You get the nice, big room with the pretty tub and I'll get...” I just remembered we
didn't inspect the rest of the apartment.
He seemed to realize this when I did because he jumped up in one smooth motion and he
held out his hand to me. Once again I felt a sharp jolt of electricity when I took it.
“Sorry,” he murmured.
I shook my head to pass it off as nothing but inside my stomach was full of butterflies. I
walked down the hallway. The second bedroom was on the opposite side of the
apartment and for that I was grateful. I didn't want my room to be anywhere near his if,
and I was hating the thought of it, he brought home a girl for the night.
There were two sets of sliding doors in the hallway which I opened. One was a utility
closet, which had a washer and dryer in it and some wire shelving. The other had a
clothing rack and more shelves on top. The spare room was at the end of the hallway. I
opened the door and flipped on the light.
The room was nice, smaller than the other but still roomy with large windows and what
looked to be a big closet. I was happy to see another ceiling fan. The Northwest had an
uncomfortable lack of air conditioners. And I had a gorgeous view of the water. The
bath was small but still better than what I'd been used to in my student flat. “Okay,” I
called out loudly. “This is officially Bella's domain.”
“I heard you loud and clear,” his rich, velvety voice rumbled right behind me. He'd
followed me into the room.
Startled, I whirled around and crashed into him for the second time. His strong arms
caught me and I got another chance to breathe him in. I wanted to press closer to him.
Instead I hurriedly backed away.
His eyes smoldered down at me and he released me. “Are you always this jumpy?” he
asked, amused.
I blushed. “No. Not always.” Just since the last hour, that's all.
He crossed his arms over his chest and leaned against the door frame of my bedroom,
“Shall we go downstairs and see Joe now?”
I nodded my head quickly before I could change my mind and back out.
He straightened up. “Let's go then.”
I gathered up my things and followed him downstairs. Joe was very happy to have gotten
rid of another apartment. We filled out a thick stack of papers each and then signed the
rental agreement. The entire time spent in the office seemed so surreal to me. Even right
in the middle of it, I couldn't believe what I was doing. The lights in the office were too
bright, the sounds of our pens scratching on the papers were irritating. Joe was overly
jovial, his smile too big. Then he handed each of us keys to the apartment, a master key
to open the outside doors after hours and for the fitness center. I clutched my keys
tightly looking at Edward who was smiling tat me softly. We were officially roommates for
one year.
There was no way I was going to back out of it even if I wanted to. As scared as I was I
couldn't believe my luck.
Alice and Jasper stared at me in disbelief. Telling them was just as bad as I thought it
would be. I thought of it as a rehearsal for when I told my parents. They were going to
absolutely freak out.
“You're what?” Jasper asked me incredulously.
“With who?” Alice added.
“I'm moving in with Edward Cullen.” I lifted my chin in defiance. I had to start playing this
cool, especially with Alice as she knew - having let me sob on her shoulder a time or
twelve - about my little, really very minor... partiality for my soon to be very platonic
roommate. And I suspected Jasper did, too. That little pixie told him everything.
As succinctly as I could I told them of that day's events, starting with the moment I
knocked into Edward, to the leasing agent's initial misunderstanding and, I got this over
with quickly, our final decision. “So we signed the lease and we can move in immediately. I
plan on taking my things over from here tomorrow and then this weekend I'll get my stuff
out of storage ...”
They were both staring at me with their mouths agape.
“Stop it.” I said, just a bit defensively. “It's nothing. Just a convenient situation for the
both of us.”
Still they stared.
“You realize you both look like a couple of flounders, don't you?” I snapped, getting annoyed.
Jasper looked away and I could see he was holding in a laugh. Alice just sat back and
looked smug.
I narrowed my eyes at her. “You have that 'I know something you don't know' look on
your face, Alice, and I don't like it. Nothing good ever comes from that look.”
Jasper turned back biting his lip to keep from smiling. “I'm not so sure about that. She
gives me that look all the time and I get a lot of good from it.”
“Yes, I know.” I said as I stood up to go to the room they generously let me use. “And
that's another reason why I need my own place. And you guys need me to stop walking
in on you in the shower.”
Alice laughed. “It was just that one time and you didn't see anything.” She paused, “You
didn't see anything, did you?”
I shuddered. “No. Ew! The sound effects were enough.” I stifled a yawn. The day's
events left me tired and drained. And I needed time to go over the day's events. I
doubted I'd get any rest for thinking of Edward. “All right, kiddos, I'm going to hit the
sack. See you in the morning.”
“'Night, Bella,” Jasper called out.
I walked to my room and shut the door behind me. Kicking my shoes off and pushing them
into the corner with my feet, I counted the seconds until Alice barged in for more information.
Not bad. Four seconds.
“Hi, Alice.” I said as I started to take off my clothes, getting ready for bed.
“Have you gone mad?” she accused.
I sighed. “No. It just all happened so fast and it was so tempting.”
“I'll bet it was,” she smirked.
“I meant the apartment, Alice.” I clarified. I could tell she didn't believe a word I said.
'So did I.” Her eyes were wide with innocence. The little liar. “So, Edward Cullen? W-o-w.”
She looked at me closely. “Do you think you can handle it?”
I tried to look unconcerned as I took out my pajamas from the dresser and laid them on
the bed. “Of course I can handle it! High school was a long time ago and I've gotten over
my stupid crush completely.”
She smirked at me, “You're very defensive, Bella.”
“I'm just tired. It's been a very long and exhausting day.”
“I can see that.” She looked at me critically.
Alarmed, I cried out, “Oh, no.”
“What?” she asked sweetly. I didn't believe her for a minute.
“I'm not going to fall for it,” I said sternly. “This is strictly a friends only thing between
Edward and me so don't get your hopes up. And don't bother trying to get my hopes up
either, because nothing is going to happen.” I plopped down on the bed. “I probably
won't even see him that often, he said he travels a lot.”
“Well, that's true. Sometimes he's gone for weeks at a time,” she told me.
I blinked. Weeks? That was hardly fair. I debated about asking her questions about
Edward and his life. When we graduated high school we all went our separate ways for
college though a lot of us kept in contact over the years. I had heard what Edward was
up to through Alice and Jasper and a few others, but I knew so little of his life other than
that he'd gone to MIT for an engineering degree and he was now working for Boeing.
“Look, I'm really tired now. Can we talk in the morning?” I asked.
“Sure. I'll see you tomorrow.” She turned to leave. “Oh, and, Bella?” she asked, stopping
at the door.
“Hmm?”
“I don't want to get your hopes up or anything-” She ducked a pillow that I threw at her.
“But I do think you should be open to the possibility of Edward being in your life as more
than a friend,” She said softly, tossing the pillow back at me. “Goodnight.”
I sighed. “Goodnight, Alice.”
I wearily made my way to the shower and turned the water on full blast. While waiting
for the water to warm up I brushed my teeth and examined my face in the mirror. Ugh, I
thought. I looked a mess. My hair was a complete disaster and the dark circles under my
eyes showed how exhausted I was. The first thing Edward had said to me today was
that I hadn't changed, and in a way he was right. I was just as average as always. Plain
brown hair, brown eyes, everything seemed brown except for my skin which stubbornly
stayed pasty white even after six years living in Arizona. Not ugly, but not beautiful
either. Just... not.
After my shower I trudged to bed, weary but unable to sleep. Without a doubt I had just
done probably the most foolish thing I'd ever pulled in my life but I couldn't feel any regret
- I was too excited for that. Instead all my attention was set on unraveling the bigger
mystery - namely, Edward, and why he'd done it.
What was I getting myself into?
Author's note: My Super Editing Ninja Warrior asked me about the bedrooms and I quote:
“I am so totally disappointed by this. I want her to have the big room. Edward wants her
to have the big room. Why can't she have the big room?”
Well, she can't have the nice, big room with the pretty tub. When I wrote the scene I
actually tossed a coin. (Because I'm that pathetic.) It was heads. Sorry, Bella! But it turns
out all right in the end.
Wait a minute, I just lit a rocket... Rockets explode!
Woody – Toy Story
Chapter 2
Saturday dawned hot and humid. Knowing that the weather was going to leave me a
dripping, stinky mess, I wanted to get as early a start as possible. I got dressed in a pair
of faded cut offs and a tank top then put my sneakers on. Pulling my hair back into a
twist to keep it out of my face, I walked over to Alice and Jasper's room and knocked lightly.
“Alice?” I whispered, opening the door a crack. “I'm heading out now. I'll meet you at the
storage place at ten, okay?”
Alice jerked awake with a start then fell back asleep. “Mmm'kay, Bella. See you...”
I gently closed the door and headed out, grabbing my keys by the door. The first stop I
made was to the grocery store for bottled water, snacks, some fruit and the makings for
sandwiches. I packed it all away in my truck then headed west to my new apartment.
My apartment. Our apartment. Mine and Edward's. I felt a small thrill at the thought of it. I
tried not to think of all the various things that could go wrong. There were butterflies
floating about as it was. Today's disaster potential was at an all-time high. Hauling
furniture was hazardous enough, but with my record I was sure to break my foot. Or
someone else's foot. Maybe I should have hired movers.
The building was still in the shade when I walked into the apartment so the temperature
wasn't very hot. The first thing I did was open all the windows, then turn on the fans I'd
bought a few days earlier – the rooms would soon feel like a sauna and I wanted to get
the air moving. Then I brought up the supplies I'd bought and put them away in the
kitchen, making sure to put a few water bottles in the freezer so we could have something
icy after our first trip up the stairs carrying boxes.
I grabbed a banana and walked to the balcony to watch the boats glide by in the morning
light. I'd just finished when I saw a U-Haul round the corner and pull up to the building. I
looked on as I saw Edward get out of the driver's side and out of the passenger's side was
his older brother, Emmett.
I beamed and called out to them from the balcony. “Howdy, strangers. Fancy meeting
you here!”
Edward looked up and found me staring down at them. His smile made the day seem
brighter. “Good morning! We do seem to run into each other a lot, don't we?” He turned to
his brother and said something that made Emmett laugh, but they were too far away for
me to catch what it was.
Emmett gave me a wave and a hearty hello before walking with Edward to the back of the
truck to start unloading. I hurried downstairs to get the doors propped open for them.
Chapter: 2
“Hey, thanks, Bella,” Emmett said as they maneuvered a big, black leather couch through
the doorway.
“You're welcome. I'm very glad to see you.” I grinned at him then stared at the couch.
Nice, I thought. I'd sold my couch back in Arizona to save on moving costs.
He chuckled and got a better hold on the couch as they walked down the hall. “I'll bet you
are. I somehow become indispensable whenever one of my friends move.”
I made a face. “You love the attention, Emmett.”
“Of course!”
Two years older than Edward, Emmett was... well, he was Emmett. He was big, bold,
brainy, and most importantly, brawny. And for today was our human forklift. I'd bet my
entire savings account that he'd be able to lift half my furniture without any help at all.
When the Cullens had moved into town, he'd scared the living daylights out of me. But
his open personality and tendency to blurt out whatever he was thinking – no matter how
silly or embarrassing - made it impossible to be scared of him for long and I soon learned
that he was really just a gigantic teddy bear – unless you made him mad, in which case
Siberia might be far enough away to hide. I don't know what recessive gene produced
him – perhaps Paul Bunyan had been a great-great-great grandfather. Where Edward was
lithe and fair-skinned with shining copper hair, Emmett managed to be dark with a thatch
of curly black hair, and massive in ways that seemed almost indecent.
Edward popped his head up from the other side of the couch. “You're not happy to see me?”
I winked. “Not nearly as much as I am to see Emmett here. Moving in will take half the time.”
“Yes, that's why I brought him,” he explained, dryly.
I pressed the button on the elevator for them. “There's water in the fridge for you. The
door's open. I'm going to head out and pack up my truck.”
“Do you need a hand?” Edward asked as the elevator chimed. “If you wait, we can get
this upstairs then go with you.”
“No, I have Jasper and Alice helping. We should be good. I don't have much stuff
anyway.” I watched as they tried to get the couch into the elevator, the doors closing
on Emmett several times before they managed to squeeze it in. I could barely see Edward
in the back. “Have fun.”
“Geez, Bella, how much stuff do you have?” Jasper complained as he lugged another one
of my heavy boxes into my brand new apartment.
“You're such a baby, Jasper. Why didn't you let Emmett carry it up if it was too heavy for
you?” I pointed him to the kitchen and he set it down gratefully. I looked at the number
on the box and checked it against my master list. Jasper had sarcastically called me a
control freak when he'd seen it earlier but I'd shrugged it off. I'd learned to be extra
careful with my belongings whenever I went anywhere after having my mother forget
one or two items of great importance. Too often we'd leave on vacation only to realize
that she mixed up the suitcases, or packed clothes that didn't fit anymore. When we
moved to our house in Forks we discovered she left behind all our linen in Arizona. I
started taking over anything involving travel when I was fifteen.
I blew my hair out of my eyes and wiped the sweat off my forehead. The shorts and tank
top I wore were sweat-stained and sticking to me uncomfortably. As I predicted, the
apartment was a sauna and my fans were merely moving the hot air around. I was
praying for a breeze to come in off the Sound.
“This is the last of my kitchen boxes.” I knelt down and started opening them up. “How's
Edward coming along?” I asked as Emmett came in to grab a bottle of water out of the fridge.
“We finished with him an hour ago. We've been lugging your furniture up since then. The
only thing he has left is his piano and that won't get here until next week.”
“Piano?” I opened a box at random and pulled out my turquoise blue Kitchen Aid, which
put the piano out of my mind completely. “Oh, baby, how I've missed you.”
Edward walked in just then - his shirt clinging to his chest with sweat - sending the mixer
out of my mind faster than it had banished the piano.
“Did you just kiss that?” he asked me, eyes sparkling with amusement.
“Bella, you need to find a man quickly if you're starting to make out with kitchen
appliances,” Emmett teased.
I blushed furiously as I stood up. “I'd never cheat on my baby,” I said as I stroked the
mixer's smooth casing. I set it on the counter and admired it briefly before digging out the
bowls and accessories that went with it. Don't stare at him. Don't stare at him.
Alice peeked into one of the boxes I'd already opened. “Holy crow, Bella! Remind me to
buy stock in Williams-Sonoma. It looks like you own the whole store.”
“Hey, I didn't hear you complain when I was cooking your dinners for a month,” I reminded her.
Emmett pulled something out of another box, “What is this? It looks medieval.”
“It is. Sort of,” I explained. “It's a meat grinder. Keep digging, you should find the
sausage stuffer in there.”
“You make your own sausage?” Edward asked, intrigued, as he peered into a box.
I was already emptying another one. “Sometimes.” I pulled out a Dutch oven. “Mmmmm!”
Alice took it from me and nearly dropped it. “God! This thing weighs a ton! Bella, you have
an illness.”
I stared at her, astonished. “I like to cook,” I said, pointedly taking it back from her.
She looked at all my stuff scattered around the kitchen. “And you accuse me of having a
shopping problem. Look at this place! You're sick!”
I turned away from her and busied myself by putting some cups away. “I have to be
prepared. Some jobs require special tools.”
Alice huffed, “That's exactly my point about clothes!”
Emmett started to laugh. “Relax, Alice. You know what they say about the way to a
man's heart-” he began as he was setting my dishes on the counter.
Ugh! Not this. “Yes,” I replied, acidly. “The straightest way to a man's heart is through a
his chest. Now stop making fun of me or you're never invited over for dinner.” I stared at
the way my things seemed to have tribbled out of their boxes. “Um, Edward? I don't know
if there's going to be enough room for your stuff.”
He snorted. “I have two pots, one small frying pan, four dishes and four cups. Plus
various utensils I picked up from somewhere.”
“That's all? How do you eat?” I stared up at him in amazement.
He shrugged. “Take out mostly.”
I ran my eyes over his body thinking that he must live at the gym if he survived on take
out and still managed to look like that. He was breath-taking. My heartrate started
picking up speed at a dangerous level.
“Ahem!” Alice interrupted my reverie. She turned to Edward. “You watch out for this
one, Edward. She may accuse me of being a clothes hound, but Bella is positively a
kitchen Nazi.”
“Be quiet.” Blushing furiously, I turned away and started to organize the kitchen. “I have
to get this out of the way and then go to the store. Alice, since you'd rather be
surrounded by fabric instead of kitchen equipment, do me a favor and toss my clothes
into the dresser so I don't have to worry about it.” I was sure she would do a better job of
it than I would and it would get her out of my hair.
Her eyes lit up. “Of course! It won't take a minute now that I know where your paycheck
goes. It certainly isn't in shoes,” she sniffed.
I rolled my eyes. Edward moved next to me and started helping me put things away.
The day was still hot and I was sure I smelled like old socks but I couldn't help but feel
excited by how close he was. All I had to do was move slightly to the right and I'd be able
to nudge him.
“So, what's for dinner?” he asked.
Startled, I looked at him as he smiled down at me, green eyes soft and warm. I could feel
a blush building so I hurriedly looked away. “Um. I was going to order a pizza?” I confessed.
He laughed. “You don't make your own?” he teased.
“I do sometimes.” I admitted. “But I'm too tired.” I put my hands on my back and
stretched my aching muscles.
He reached into his pocket and brought out his cell phone. “What do you like?” he asked
me as he dialed.
I shrugged, “Meat. Cheese. Meat. Cheese. And cheese.”
“Did you want cheese?” he teased, eyes glinting.
I smiled, only daring to glance up at him before turning away. I had to catch my breath
before I became overwhelmed. “Just a bit, if it's okay with you.”
“I can always pick it off.” He left the kitchen to order the food while I tried to finish up as
fast as I could. I'd have to organize it tomorrow sometime but for now, just getting all my
toys out of their boxes would have to be enough. I started to wonder how we were going
to arrange the place. And how we were going to divide up chores, or if that was going to
be necessary at all. And should I buy for both of us at the grocery store, or just for me?
Hm. I should have thought of that before.
“They should be here soon, it's already been half an hour.” He came back in, stuffing the
tips of his fingers into his pockets. Instinctively, I watched his hands, then looked away
before he could catch me staring at his crotch. The look on his face told me I'd been caught.
Red-faced, I turned away. “Good, I'm starved. And I bet Emmett's ready to eat a bear.”
That reminded me. “What was that he said about a piano?” I peeked at him, still blushing.
“It's a small one, you'll hardly even notice it.” He leaned against the counter with his arms
crossed over his chest and watched me. He looked relaxed and very much at home, his
eyes never leaving my face.
Slightly aflutter to have his undivided attention, I returned to sorting out the utensil
drawer. “Do you still play?” I asked curiously.
“When I get the time. It's relaxing.” He bit his lip in thought and looked as if he was going
to say something.
I held my breath in anticipation, unable to look away.
Someone knocked at the door.
“Pizza's here!” Emmett called out, nearly attacking the door trying to get it open.
I let out my pent up breath, unable to look away from Edward's steady gaze. “Yum.”
“Bella?” Alice came in and broke the spell. “Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt. Jasper and I
are heading out. I have a long week ahead and I need tomorrow to prepare.”
“You're not staying to eat?” I asked, nearly relieved. I wanted Alice to stay to help buffer
the Edward Zone but I also wanted her out of the way just in case she was planning
anything devious.
“No, we'll just take it with us.”
I gave her a hug. “Thank you for all your help today. And for letting me crash at your
place for so long.”
“It was my pleasure!” she said warmly, hugging me back. “Well, not the moving heavy
boxes part, but the having you back in Seattle part is. I'm just glad you came home. I
was beginning to think you'd stay in Phoenix forever.”
I shrugged. “There wasn't anything to keep me there.”
“Well, you have everything in the world to keep you here, now,” she said giving a
significant look at Edward, who was talking earnestly to his brother. I let my eyes linger
on him a moment longer than I should have. I turned my attention back to see her smiling at m
“Don't get your hopes up, Shorty,” I reminded her.
“And don't you let your pessimism get in the way of your happiness,” she retorted. “I
foresee a great deal of happiness in your future if you'd just let things happen.”
I took a breath and let it out slowly. She was never going to stop. Secretly I hoped she
was right, but realistically? I glanced at Edward again - even as a sweaty mess he looked
good enough to eat. No chance in hell would he be interested in me.
“And, while you were in the kitchen I took the liberty of putting your room together,” she
added casually.
“Wow. You didn't have to do that. But thanks.” Awesome. Another chore I didn't have to do.
“Oh, I did, Bella. Your bed's all set so all you have to do is change into your pajamas and
fall asleep. Incidentally, I can't believe you still have the clothes you wore in high school!
You're twenty-five years old, it's time to get rid of the Snoopy pajamas, don't you think?”
She had to say that loud enough for everyone to hear, didn't she? Everyone had stopped
talking and was looking at me. I didn't know which was worse - Emmett's clearly amused
expression, or Edward's beautifully crooked smile turning my insides to mush.
Embarrassed, I rounded on Alice. “They're soft and comfortable and I love them.”
“I'm very sorry to hear that because I threw them out,” Alice said, but she looked the
exact opposite of sorry.
I gaped at her, furious. “You did what? How could you! I've had those forever!”
“Yes. Exactly. And I also culled out some of your sweats while I was in there. There are
only so many you need. Actually,” she clarified “you don't need any at all. So those went
as well.”
My jaw dropped. “You threw out my clothes?” I asked incredulously.
“You might have noticed if you weren't so busy in the kitchen.” She looked at Edward and
back at me with a raised eyebrow.
“But how could you throw out my clothes?” I was flabbergasted at her audacity. “You
know, I take it back, you're a horrible, mean little person.”
“Be quiet. I'm only helping,” she snapped back. “I let you keep your ASU hoodie. I'm sure
it has sentimental value.”
“Thanks,” I said sarcastically.
Alice smiled brightly, “You're welcome!”
“I wasn't being sincere, you know.”
“I know,” she said complacently. “But you'll mean it eventually. Bye, Bella.” She stood on
her toes to kiss me on the cheek then glided out of the apartment after Jasper, who was
carrying one of the pizzas. Emmett followed close behind also carrying a pizza with him.
He smiled warmly to me as let himself out. Clearly he, at least, understood how betrayed I feel.
“Cheer up, Bella. I hear Tigger jammies are all the rage nowadays,” he teased as he went
out the door.
Okay, clearly he was an insensitive jerk. “Mmf?” was the only reply I could think of. I'd
probably wake up at two a.m. with a better one. Typical.
I heard Edward chuckling behind me and I whirled on him, pointing my finger like a school
marm. “Don't you dare laugh, Edward Cullen, because she wouldn't think twice about
doing the same thing to you.” I stomped to my bedroom and slammed open the door. But
everything in the room was very much not mine. Edward must have switched rooms
behind my back. God, his bed was huge. I shook my head quickly then turned around,
stomped back the other way to the other bedroom and took it all in– there was all my
stuff, all set up with the bed made and everything, just as Alice said.
“Hunh.”
I stomped to the living room where Edward was standing, waiting for me and my obvious
peevishness. “Edward?” I began. “Didn't we have a coin toss about the bedrooms?”
He ran a hand through his hair in exasperation at me. “You honestly thought I was going
to take the tub from you? Give me some credit.”
“I-” I stopped. “I don't know what to say.” I couldn't very well disassemble the place
could I? Would I? Noooo, that wasn't happening.
There was that crooked smile again. It wasn't fair. “Just say thank you,” he said softly.
I fiddled with my hands, feeling very insignificant. “Thank you.”
“Ready to eat?” he asked, holding out his hand to me.
“Yes.” But I hesitated, realizing that I spent all day hauling heavy boxes around in
eighty-degree temperature. “But I think I should probably shower first. I smell.”
“I don't notice anything unpleasant,” he said.
Me neither, I thought.
I huffed out a small laugh. “Oh, you're good.” Forcing my eyes away form his, I turned
and walked back to my brand new, big room with the pretty tub. I pulled the elastic out
of my hair and pulled my fingers through it. It felt marvelous to let my hair down. “Mmm...”
“Bella?”
How did he get his voice to do that melty thing? I turned around to face him. He'd
followed me to the hallway. “Hmm?”
He smiled that devastating crooked smile again leaving me nearly breathless, “Let me
know if you need help.”
My heart thudded into a thousand drumbeats. “Pppf?” Brilliant reply, Bella. Really classic.
“I wouldn't want you to slip on the floor,” he explained innocently.
“Hunh.” I blinked and took a breath. Calm. Cool. I smiled suddenly, “If I need help, you'll
be the first to know.” I reached behind me to open the door and slipped in, loudly
banging my toe on a box that was in my way. I heard him chuckle as I swallowed a curse.
Great going. You're an inarticulate klutz.
“You sure you don't need help now?” he asked from behind the door.
“I'm fine! I'm... fine.” I called out as I limped quietly to the bathroom. Alice had
thoughtfully dug out my towels. Perfect. A quick shower and then a quick bite and then...
a quickie. No. Bed. Alone.
I showered fast, trying to erase the stench of the day, then got dressed in a fresh pair
of shorts and a tank top. The day was still too hot to think about wearing much more.
Fortunately the shower had cooled me off some. I rubbed my hair with a towel and quickly
ran a comb through it before feeling I was ready enough to face Edward again.
Edward had also taken the time to rinse off. I'd never seen him just out of the shower
before, and the flush on his face from the hot water and the way his damp hair hung
made me stop in my tracks. “Hi,” I said, quietly. Shy again.
“Hi. No help needed I take it?” he asked as he put a slice of pizza on a plate and handed it
to me. He went to the fridge and grabbed a couple of beers.
“No. I'm quite capable. Thanks.” I took the beer and we walked to the living room. I sat
down on one end of the couch, tucking my legs under me and he sat on the other turning
to face me. We sat in silence for a while until I remembered something that had been
weighing on my mind.
“I was thinking...” I stopped, not knowing exactly how to phrase this.
He smiled at me, “Yes?”
“Well, I was wondering if we should set up some house rules. You know, guidelines.”
He nodded, “Sounds reasonable. What did you have in mind?”
I looked away for a minute, trying to gather courage to speak of this subject. Really, it was
silly. I'm an adult, I can talk about this to another adult without spontaneously combusting.
“What about... visitors?” I asked, tentatively.
He nearly choked on his pizza. Recovering swiftly, he raised an eyebrow at my
euphemism. “Do you have a lot of visitors?”
I blushed. “No,” I admitted. “But, we should have some sort of, um, rule set in place just
in case visitors come over.” I wondered if it was possible for me to get any redder.
“What kind of rule?” he asked, sitting back in his seat, his eyes never leaving my face.
“Well, for instance...” I thought over some potential problems - Edward and a permanent
girlfriend being a huge concern of mine. “Crashers.”
He shook his head, bewildered. “What are crashers?”
“Visitors who stay for more than three days - other than out of town guests when there
isn't anywhere else for them to go. Anything longer than three days the, er, visitor has
moved in and has to start paying rent.”
He chuckled. “Okay, no crashers. Anything else?”
I thought of another one of my nightmare scenarios. “Also, anything, um, private
shouldn't be done in a common area. No naked wild monkey sex out of the bedrooms. I
don't want to come home to see you and some girl going at it like bunnies on the
counter.” Oh. My. God. Kill me now. I tried not to blush but it was hopeless. I was
hopeless. I risked a peek at him.
Edward's face was carefully composed. “Nothing public. Gotcha.” He took a sip of his
beer. “Anything else?”
“Do you think we should be writing this down?” I asked, trying to be businesslike.
He started grinning at me as if he was enjoying this. “Do you need to follow a checklist?”
“No,” I said, miffed. What kind of impression was I making on him? “I'm just trying to cover
all bases.”
He smiled wryly, “Don't worry, Bella. All your bases will be covered.”
I gave up and thought of something else I wanted to talk about. “So, tell me. What have
you been doing since high school?”
His shrugged. “Not much. I went to school. Then I did graduate school. And now I'm back
in my home state working a real job like an adult. All pretty boring, actually.”
“You did graduate school already?” I asked impressed.
He wriggled uncomfortably in his seat a bit. “Sure. I had most of my requirements out of
the way before I went off to college. When those are out of the way the rest is easy.”
I chuckled. “Easy, right. I feel like I spent my first year in Arizona helping my roommates
get over their high school boyfriends when they broke up.”
“They were that bad?” He was smiling again. That was good.
“I guess they weren't ready for the big break up yet. Which is silly, they should have
expected it to happen.”
“Should they have?”
“Of course they should have. People change so much in college - you're not the same
person you once were.” I hoped this was the case. “And anyway, no one dates seriously
in high school,” I explained. “They think they do but they don't. It's all just hormones or
low standards.”
“Really?” he asked. “I'm curious now. Which of the two would you apply to your own
experience?”
“Ugh. I didn't date a lot in school. I doubt you'd remember - even if you noticed. I'd say
definitely low standards. Alice would say it was low self esteem,” I blurted out. I was
teetering on the edge of exposing myself. How stupid.
He frowned. “Why would she say that?”
I picked up my beer and took a small pull. “Oh, you know Alice. She's my own personal
cheering section.”
“Interesting that you should mention Alice. She and Jasper have been together since high
school,” he pointed out.
“Alice and Jasper have been together since before birth! They probably have a thousand
past lives and they spent all of them meeting and falling in love in an endless cycle. They
are destiny. Nothing can keep them apart.” I was giggling now. I needed to stop.
Edward leaned towards me, a small smile playing around his lips. “Do you truly believe
that, or have you bought into Alice's propaganda?”
“Well,” I bit the side of my lip in thought. “Both.”
“Really?” he asked, intrigued.
I leaned forward, too, wanting to get closer to him. “I know it sounds insane but I've seen
Alice predict some really weird things. You remember how she used to go around and tell
people's fortunes?”
He nodded, his eyes staring intently into mine.
“Would you believe a lot of them actually came true? Not all of them, but some big ones.”
He was nodding, still holding me captive with his stare. “I would. She's told my future a
few times before.”
“She did?” I asked in surprise. “What did she say?”
He just shook his head and smiled tight-lipped. I tore my gaze away. Annoyed, I took
another bite of pizza.
“Did it ever occur to you that it's more like a self-fulfilling prophesy?” he asked. “That
instead of actually predicting the future, she plants little seeds of ideas in our brains that,
intrigued with the notion, we subconsciously do our best to make come true?”
I laughed. “All the time. Alice will stop at nothing to get her own way. The woman's
unscrupulous.” I took another sip of my beer and continued. “But that's not always the
case. What about the time she told Tyler that he was going to become one of America's
Most Wanted?”
Edward leaned his head back and laughed. “I'd forgotten about that.”
“I doubt Tyler ever stopped and thought, 'What a great idea! I think I'll murder ten
people'.” I started feeling buzzed from the beer and knew I had to stop soon before I
did something outrageous - for instance, lick his face.
“So what do you think it is?”
“Like I said, a little of both. She's told me a few things that would happen to me and they
did, but I think it was either lucky guesses or something so obvious that everyone knew it
would happen. Of course, most of the things she's told me were pure crap.” Example: the
time she said Edward and I would be a couple before the end of high school. I thought
for a second before continuing, “And some were just Alice's way of being encouraging.
There were a few that astonished me though.”
“Tell me one thing she predicted that astonished you,” he asked, smiling.
I shook my head. “No.”
He looked at me through his lashes, his eyes blazing and turned on the charm, “Please?”
I took a shaky breath and shook my head again. “Only if you tell me what predicted for
you,” I countered.
Unsatisfied he leaned back and stared at me, “I don't think so. And I'm trying to decide if
it's fate or one of her little seeds.”
We stared at each other, both unwilling to give up. Finally, I yawned. “I'm beat.”
“You should go to bed,” he said softly.
“I would except, thanks to Alice, I have nothing to sleep in.”
A small smile played on Edward's lips and I realized what I'd said. Me and my stupid
mouth. Apparently it was possible for me to blush more. There must be no blood in my
toes – it was all in my face.
“You just had the Snoopy pajamas?” he asked, eyebrows raised.
“No,” I said, defensively. “She also tossed out my sweat pants and my Cardinals jersey.
I'm betting she's a Seahawks fan.” I sniffed. “She did that on purpose so she could take
me shopping. Alice is annoying that way.”
He chuckled, “I don't blame her for the Cardinals jersey though. How could you abandon
Washington football like that?” he teased.
“I didn't. It was...” I paused. It was an ex's jersey but I didn't want to bring him up.
Ever. What a nightmare. I shuddered at some memories that threatened to emerge. “It
was left over from... I'm not exactly distraught about it being gone. But it was comfortable.”
“Do you want to borrow one of mine?” he asked, eyes gleaming.
“Um. Really?” I blinked, surprised. YES! “If it's not too much trouble.” I said, as if it wasn't
a big deal.
He shook his head and got up. “It's no trouble at all. And I know where you live if I ever
need it back,” he called out walking to his room.
Ha! Like I was ever going to return it. He'd have to pry it out of my cold, dead fingers.
I got up off the couch and, not knowing if I should follow him to his room or wait in mine,
I compromised by waiting halfway near the kitchen.
He quickly returned with a dark blue t-shirt and handed it to me. “There you go. That
should keep you at least until Alice drags you to the mall.”
I took it from him and hugged it to my chest. I tried not to be so obvious about how much
this was affecting me. “Thanks,” I said, brightly. Too brightly. The beer was making me slap
silly. “I'm going to go to bed now.” But I just stood there watching him watch me. I
couldn't read the expression on his face. “Good night,” I said at last.
He smiled crookedly at me again, “Good night, Bella.”
“'Night.” Abruptly, I did an about-face and went to my room, half hoping he'd stop me so
we could talk some more. I heard him say good night once more as I closed my door and I
had to lean up against the door to slow my racing heart down. My master plan of playing
it cool was rapidly falling to pieces around my ears and I had no back-up plan to use when
it came crashing down. I slowly got undressed, thinking the whole day over, then headed
to the bathroom.
What did Alice say to him back in high school? I wondered as I brushed my teeth. I could
probably guess. She was sneaky enough to try to plant those little seeds in his brain in
order to encourage him to ask me out. I nearly felt sick. Of course she did. And of
course, he never followed up on her suggestions. Why would he? Why would Edward
Cullen have ever wanted me? For that matter why would things be any different now?
Mentally berating myself for being both a love-struck fool and pathologically hopeless, I
pulled on Edward's shirt. It was soft and clingy, reaching down to my thighs. It also smelled
delicious. Not exactly Edward good – he'd have had to have been wearing it for that –
but near enough to make me realize that sleeping would be very difficult tonight, no
matter how tired I was.
I climbed into bed, then turned out the light and lay awake for hours thinking about him.
AN: Thank you for your kind reviews, they were a lot of fun to read, llamas and all!
You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy. We must be cautious.
Obi-Wan Kenobi
Chapter 3
The morning after moving in I woke up tired and sore. I had to talk myself into getting out
of bed and in the end it was the thought of seeing Edward that finally did the trick. I
dragged myself up and went to the bathroom where I counted the bruises and scrapes I'd
acquired the day before. There was a particularly nasty bruise on my shin - I had no
recollection of how that had happened – and my lower back was complaining loudly. I
glanced at the mirror and saw that I looked about as bad as I felt. Deciding that it was
pointless to try to fix my appearance this early, I went in search of something to eat.
The kitchen was still a wreck when I walked in but I quickly located a bowl and spoon. I
was just pouring the milk into my cereal when Edward walked in, bleary-eyed and with his
bronze hair messed up from sleeping, wearing only his pajama bottoms. I gaped, running
my eyes over the tight muscles of his chest and strong arms. My mind went blank and I
completely forgot where I was and what I was doing until the milk overflowed and spilled
onto the counter.
“Oh, shoot!” I said, blushing, my attention finally brought back to reality. Good, next
maybe I can drool on him.
“Whoops!” he said and he grabbed some paper towels to mop up the mess.
“Sorry! I'm still a bit out of it.” I explained. It wasn't even a lie.
“Nothing a little coffee won't fix.” He finished with the spill then tossed the sopping paper
towels into the trash.
“Coffee. Good.” I fished a spoon out of a drawer and hastily ate my breakfast, watching
him out of the corner of my eye. He was opening cabinets, searching for something.
“What are you looking for?”
“Grinder. Beans. Coffee pot. Where are they?” he explained, opening another cabinet
at random.
“Beans are there,” I pointed to a metal tin on the counter. “Grinder is here,” I opened a
door below the counter. “And the pot is on the stove already.”
“Oh, is that what it is?”
“Tsk. Just as second I'll show you how to use it.” I went to rinse my bowl out and put it in
the dishwasher. When I turned around Edward was blatantly staring at my legs. “What?”
“My shirt looks good on you,” he said simply, a smile hovering on his lips.
Chapter: 3
Blushing, I glanced down, realizing that I neglected to put anything on underneath. It
covered everything - if I was standing - but if I dropped anything I certainly wasn't going
to be the one to bend over and get it. I toyed with the spoon thoughtfully before
reaching behind me to put it in the sink. “It's very comfortable.” I said as I inched along
the counter.
'Better than Snoopy?”
I nodded silently, unable to look away from him. I was flushed but with excitement more
than embarrassment at this point.
“Where are you going?” he asked, eyes wickedly gleaming.
“I'm going to change.” Honestly!
“I thought you were going to show me how to use this contraption.” He pointed to my Moka pot.
“Just pack the grounds in the middle, pour water in the bottom, screw it all together and
take it off the stove when you hear it bubble.” I scooted further away, keeping my
backside out of view.
He frowned in mock consternation, but his eyes were glittering. “That's very vague. What
if I mess it up?”
My heart thumped erratically. I was very nearly about to explode.
“It's not rocket science, Edward,” I said coolly. “If you have to you can use the Mr. Coffee.
It's in the cupboard over the fridge.” As I hoped, he looked at where I was pointing and I
used his distraction to run to my room, stifling a giggle the whole way.
During the six weeks following that awkward morning, we'd managed to find a comfortable
footing and I learned that Edward was a lot of fun. Not only smart and handsome, but
funny and caring as well. When I was around him I felt like I was in one of those
romantic comedy movies, only decidedly without the romance part. And we never left our
rooms without being fully dressed again.
Edward had also gone away on business with some frequency but he always returned
within a few days of leaving. He'd shown me his passport once when he'd gotten back
from a quick trip to Korea and it was almost completely filled and had an attachment he'd
had added to it when the regular pages ran out. It made my little editing job at the
publishing house seem very humdrum, though Edward seemed interested when I talked about
One thing that I liked about Edward's frequent travel – other than seeing him come home
again and the smile on his face when he walked through the door – was that he'd call me
from some exotic location and ask if I wanted anything. His business trips quickly became
impromptu shopping expeditions to stock up the pantry:
“I've got a four hour layover in Singapore, is there anything you need?”
“At the airport?”
“Please, this place is one big shopping mall with planes.”
“Well, then can you find some chili sauce?”
Or:
“I'm in Paris, what do you want?”
“Tickets to join you!”
“I'm only here for a day, Bella.”
“Have you got a pen and paper handy?”
At first I tried to pay him back for the things he bought, but he refused to take my
money. So I wound up making special meals with the things he brought home, quickly
learning what types of food he liked and committing them to memory. Dinner at home
became something to look forward to for more than my normal enjoyment of the cooking
process. It was fun to be with him once I got over my initial nervousness. I liked to watch
him eat and I couldn't help but feel gratified when I saw that he enjoyed what I had spent
time in preparing.
Plus he always did the dishes afterwards. If we could only add sex to the mixture and
we'd have been the world's happiest couple.
“Don't you ever sleep?” I asked Edward as I padded out to the living room at six-thirty in
the morning to find him already up, laptop on and papers spread across the coffee table.
Pretty much exactly where I'd left him the night before. Only a change in clothes showed
that he'd moved between ten o'clock and now.
“Not much,” he smiled at me sheepishly. “I'm a bit of a vampire. I get about five hours of
sleep a night, give or take.”
“You're kidding!” I was incredulous. “How do you survive?”
He shrugged. “I've pretty much always been like this. Used to drive my mom nuts until I
was old enough to not burn the house down or choke to death on a marble and she could
sleep in.”
“And how old was that?” I asked him.
“When I moved away to college,” he deadpanned.
Smiling, I headed to the kitchen to make some coffee and he turned back to his computer.
I poured the coffee beans into the grinder and pressed down on the lid when something
hit me. I marched back to the living room and stood in front of Edward, staring at him.
Finally, he looked up at me, his entire face questioning my sanity.
“You wear glasses?” I asked him, pointing my spoon at him like a weapon. “Since when?”
“Since I stare at a computer monitor for ten hours a day? Is something wrong?” He asked
curiously.
“No! No. I was just surprised. I've never seen you with them before, that's all.” I had no
idea how to play off my burning interest. I looked at him for a few seconds longer than
was polite. The dark frames made his green eyes pop.
“I just wear them when I'm working,” he said as if I needed an explanation. “The monitor
tends to make my eyes tired.” He took his glasses off and rubbed the inside corners of
his eyes as if even talking about work made him tired.
“You're always working. What is it you're doing at Boeing anyway?”
“Me?” He waved a hand dismissively. “I'm just a tiny cog in a big wheel turning out specs
for the ISS.”
“The ISS? You mean the space station?” I clarified. Wasn't this something I should have
known weeks ago?
He nodded, clearly amused at my reaction.
“You're working on the space station?”
“Well, technically I'm not. The astronauts do that.”
I made a face at him.
“But, yes, I'm a small part of a large team that's working on it. It's very, very tedious
stuff.” He stretched his arms over his head and leaned back exposing a tantalizing sliver of
his stomach.
I dragged my eyes away from his midsection and looked at his face, which wasn't exactly
safer territory. “So, wait. Are you telling me you're a rocket scientist?”
He smiled crookedly at me making my knees quiver. “I suppose you could say that.”
“Huh.” I stood there trying to think of something brilliant to say but I couldn't.
“You know you shouldn't point that spoon at someone unless you're going to use it.”
I dropped my hand and remembering where I was and what I had been doing, I returned
to the kitchen and resumed making the coffee. After a few minutes I could hear Edward
clacking away on the computer.
I snorted to myself as I waited for my espresso to brew. I felt just that much smaller in
comparison to his accomplishments. And I added two more things to know about Edward:
He's incredibly smart, and he wears glasses. Oh, and he's gorgeous in them. That's three
more. I winced as I thought of how stupid I probably sounded to him. Rocket scientist.
Nice going, Bella. Irritated, I opened the refrigerator and took out a block of cream
cheese, slamming it on the counter. At last, my coffee was ready and I poured a cup. I was
still mentally berating myself as I stirred the milk and sugar in.
Edward's voice behind me made me jump. “What are you thinking?” he asked.
I glanced at him and back to my coffee and shook my head. He moved nearer and
leaned down so he could look at my face. I couldn't resist the pull of his eyes and I stared
back. He lifted an eyebrow. “You're very pensive this morning. Are you alright?”
“Of course! I'm great. I'm just up early and a bit tired is all. I'm making a bagel do you
want one?” I asked hurriedly, trying to distract him. If there's one thing that would get
anyone to shut up it's trying to chew an authentic bagel. I grabbed one from the bag and
started to cut into it.
He watched me carefully, no doubt waiting for me to slice my hand open. “No,” he said,
finally. “I don't think I have the jaw muscles to chew my way through one of your bagels.”
I pretended to not know what he was talking about. “What do you mean by that? My
bagels are perfect.”
I watched as he got out the coffee tin and poured beans into the grinder.
“I just made coffee. You're welcome to it,” I offered just before he pressed the cap down.
He smiled and shook his head. “You're particular about your bagels, I'm particular about
my coffee,” he explained when he was done.
“What's so special about it?” I asked though the grounds smelled wonderful.
“It's just good. I order it from a place in Colorado.” He emptied the pot into a large mug
and began cleaning the filter.
“You live in Seattle but you have your coffee imported from Colorado? That's just bizarre.”
I filled the base with water for him and handed it over, watching him as he worked.
“Hey, I don't bug you about your weird bagel fetish, do I?” he teased, eyes wickedly gleaming.
“I don't have a fetish!” I grabbed a butter knife and busily smeared cream cheese over
my breakfast. “They are an art form and deserve to be enjoyed properly.” I raised it to my
lips and took a deliberately slow bite out of it. “Mmmmm...” I chewed slowly and watched
his reaction.
His eyes darkened and his lips parted as he stared at my mouth. I almost lost control of
myself but I kept chewing. It suddenly occurred to me that Edward was turned on. I
swallowed loudly, heartbeat accelerating at the ramifications of my little epiphany.
I offered my bagel to him with a small smile. “Want a bite?”
“Hmm?” He snapped out of his reverie, face becoming more composed. Evidently he had
decided against making a move. “No,” he said quietly. “The ones you buy are very nearly
heavy enough to be boat anchors,” he joked.
I struggled not to show my disappointment and spoke as lightly as he did. “They are not.
I have high food standards,” I said, lifting my eyebrows archly. “Enjoy your coffee,
Edward.” I moved to the balcony and ate in silence, pondering how to handle this new
situation and what it might mean. Before long I was joined by Edward, who was holding
out a cup of coffee to me. I took it from him and smiled as I had a sip. Somewhere he
must have paid attention because it was made how I liked it. “Thanks.”
“My pleasure,” he said as he sipped from his mug. He regarded me thoughtfully but didn't
say anything.
We were quiet for a while, watching the day start below us and drinking our coffee.
Finally the sun rose high enough for me to think about getting ready for the day and I
turned to him. “Alice said she'd be over at about five to set things up for tonight.”
“I wouldn't have thought about having an open house.”
“Me neither. But you know Alice, any excuse to throw a party is a good one. Remember
my eighteenth birthday?”
Alice, in a fit of helpfulness, had decided that my eighteenth birthday would be the best
night of my life. She'd gone all out with decorations and food and - I have no idea how she
got it - a keg. After a day of playing makeover at her house, I was ready for Edward to
take one look at me and ask me out – at least that was the plan. It might have worked,
too, except that the combination of my chronic clumsiness, a smidge too much to drink,
and the heels Alice made me wear caused me stumble on the rug in her dining room. I'd
knocked into Jasper, who in turn bumped me into Edward, who – and he apologized
profusely for weeks afterward – knocked me into the table, sending it and me crashing to
the floor.
I wound up in the emergency room with thirty-two stitches on the inside of my arm and
my parents grounded me for a month when they found out I'd been drinking.
He grimaced. “I'll never forget it, Bella. And I'll never be able to make up for shoving you
into a glass table.” He ran his hand through his hair, his face pained.
I shook my head. “Stop! That's not why I brought it up. And you didn't shove me, it was
all my fault to begin with.” I made sure he was done before continuing. “Anyway, you
weren't there that day, but when I had them removed she threw a Bella Got Her Stitches
Out party for me. She constructed giant staples out of choco sticks and carved Vienna
sausages into band aids. It was really... gross. ”
“You're kidding.” His smile was infectious.
I smiled back. “I wish I was.” I stretched out my arm and showed him the scar. “I can't
wait for my first mammogram,” I muttered, half to myself, eying my arm thoughtfully.
“That party will be a blowout.”
He stared at my arm thoughtfully then reached out a hand to trace the scar with a
finger, making me shiver. “I'm sorry, are you cold?” He looked at me with concern.
“No.” I pulled my arm away and picked up my coffee, trying not to think of how he made
me feel with just a simple gesture. I could feel his eyes on me still, but for my own peace
of mind I resisted looking back.
“That color blue looks lovely on you,” he said, warmly.
I blushed and met his eyes. I think I forgot to breathe for a moment because I was feeling
dizzy. “Thank you.” I looked down quickly to see what I was had on. Just a plain shirt. I
made a mental note to wear it more often.
He seemed to feel the need to change the subject. “So, who's coming?”
“It helps that we know most of the same people doesn't it?” I said brightly. “She's got this
mini reunion thing all set up. All I know is that Alice is not in charge of the food tonight so
it'll be safe to eat.”
“Who's bringing it?” he asked me, curiously.
I stared at him.
“You're going to cook for all those people?” He shook his head in disbelief.
“Of course not. You are!” I laughed as I watched him try to process that bit of
information. “I'm kidding. We'll just have snacks and sandwiches or something. It
depends on what's at the market. All we have to do is chop stuff up and set it on trays.
And when that runs out we're going to eat Emmett.”
He nearly spit out his coffee. “Don't even suggest it to him. He'd slather himself in
whipped cream and put a cherry on his nose.”
“That's almost as disturbing an image as Alice's band aid sausages.”
“But leave Emmett alone. I have plans for him tonight.” He sipped his coffee, leaving me
to wonder at his smug expression.
The party was in full swing by seven o'clock with more people arriving every few minutes.
Most of my co-workers had already arrived and Edward's as well. Then, as if brought
forth by morbid curiosity, the old high school crowd started straggling in. It was almost a
waking nightmare - I say almost because I was completely dressed.
I was happy to see a few of them. Angela Weber and Ben Cheney showed up and I'd
always liked them. But so did Jessica Stanley and Lauren Mallory - though why Lauren
came, I have no idea. She never liked me in the first place. She was probably here to
see Edward. And Mike Newton came and, of course, Eric Yorkie... Perfect. All the boys I
turned down in school plus the girls who'd ragged about me behind my back. And to
complete the nightmare, I had to explain to each and every one of them that Edward and
I were not, in fact, together as a couple, but just sharing the rent.
I was miserable.
As soon as he understood the situation Mike nearly pounced on me. “Hey, now that you're
back in town do you want to go out to dinner sometime?” he asked eagerly. “Do a little bit
of catching up?”
I stared at his hopeful face and tried to be as polite as I possibly could. Taking hints was
never his forte, though, so I'd have to be very, very clear. “Um...” I was at a loss. I had
nothing against Mike. But I had nothing for him, either.
Edward loomed up behind him, his face a mixture of irritation and amusement. “Hi, Mike.
How're you doing?” Edward's velvety voice washed over me but did nothing to calm my
racing heart. He winked at me before returning his attention to Mike.
Mike narrowed his eyes at him and nodded curtly. “I'm fine, Edward. You have a nice
place here.”
“Thanks,” Edward and I said at the same time.
Biting my lip to keep from laughing I looked around desperate for a diversion. “Oh, look!
Jessica's here! I think I'll go over and say hi. Excuse me.” I beat a hasty retreat to the
dining room where Jessica and Lauren were chatting over the food.
Lauren smirked at me. “So, Bella, how'd you manage to talk Edward into this set up? I
didn't think you had it in you.”
“I have a few surprises up my sleeves,” I replied archly. I had never understood her
hostility towards me and it seemed she hadn't gotten over it.
“I'll bet you do.”
Jessica snagged a carrot and bit into it, munching on it thoughtfully. “So whose idea was
it? Yours?”
I was getting irritated. What business of theirs was it anyway? “Actually, it was Edward's.”
I looked around. “Oh, look! There's Angela. See you.” I scooted away as fast as humanly
possible.
Angela was, as ever, a breath of fresh air. She was the least complicated of all my old
friends and I never had to struggle to find what she said interesting. Tonight proved no
different after I asked her if she'd heard from Tyler Crowley since graduation - I had
almost expected him to walk through the door right after Eric.
“You haven't heard?” she asked in surprise.
I frowned in confusion. “No, what?”
“Tyler's in jail somewhere in Southern California.” She looked at the shock on my face.
“No one told you? He held up a liquor store - can you believe it?”
At around eight-thirty someone knocked at the door and as I was the one standing closest
to it – doing my best not to bolt for the hills - I opened the door to find a stunning blonde
looking down at me and holding a bottle of wine with a perky red bow wrapped around the neck
I couldn't help myself from gaping, but perhaps I could be excused because everything
about her was designed to be stared at - from her flowing golden hair to her ravishing
face, to her tiny red shirt, all the way down to her short black skirt, long legs and
stilettos. Even without the heels, she towered over me by inches. She looked like a...
blonde Jessica Rabbit.
“Is Edward here?” she purred.
Numbly, I stood aside and she glided in with her hips swaying suggestively. Watching her
walk through a crowded room was like the parting of the Red Sea. Wherever she went
people automatically made room for her and watched her walk by. If I wasn't mad as hell
I'd have been very impressed. She should give lessons. My eyes narrowed as I saw her
approach Edward, who had his back to us, talking to someone from his workplace. She
raised a hand and stroked his shoulder and I watched as his face lit up as he saw her. A
big, painful ball of jealousy lodged in the pit of my belly.
Immediately, he started looking around. For what or whom I couldn't imagine but I noticed
his hand hovered near her back. I couldn't take it anymore and ran to the kitchen to hide.
At the very least I could replenish the vegetable tray. Moments later Edward walked in to
find me frenetically chopping away at the celery. He had the bottle of wine which he set
on the counter.
“Bella, have you seen Emmett anywhere?” he asked, looking over my shoulder at the
poor vegetable I was currently destroying.
I shook my head no, not able to speak just yet and continued to hack at the food.
“Are you okay?” he asked me, concerned.
“I'm fine. Just busy,” I said tersely. I couldn't look at him. I was so angry and hurt that
could barely see what I was doing. I was sure that the night would end up with me in
the emergency room and a team doctors frantically trying to reattach my fingers to my
hand. That would be great, then Alice could throw a FrankenBella party.
He looked at me, his face etched with worry at my obvious distress. “You don't look okay.
You look like you're about to explode.”
Angrily, I stabbed the chopping block with my knife where it stood on end and quivered.
I was surprised at myself but pleased to see that the point was driven into the wood by
half an inch. Eyes wide with alarm, Edward looked at the knife and then at me. “Bella,
tell me. What is wrong?”
“You hired a stripper?” I whirled on him furiously, angry tears welling up, ready to spill over.
He was thunderstruck with confusion. “What? No!”
“Then who was that... that... woman?” I demanded, pointing to the living room.
Realization dawned on his face, his mouth a small O of surprise. “Bella, Rosalie Hale works
with me at Boeing,” he explained gingerly, looking warily at my face for any hostile reaction.
I felt the insidious blush begin to form somewhere around my toes and spread slowly,
painfully up to my face as I realized what he'd said and what I just accused him of doing.
Worse, what I accused Rosalie of being. I hid my face in my hands, ashamed of my
blunder, and slid down to the floor. “Oh Edward, I am so, so sorry.” Now instead of angry
tears, I was crying out of humiliation. I hastily wiped them away.
Edward squatted down in front of me and peered into my face but I looked away. He
gently placed his hands on either side of my face and lifted it up forcing me to look at him.
“Are you okay now?”
I nodded, sniffling a bit. “You must think I'm a complete psycho.”
“Not a complete psycho. I am wondering about your reaction though.” He let go of my
face and leaned his forearms on his knees. He looked concerned. No doubt wondering if
I was going to murder him in his bed.
I squirmed. I really didn't want to have this conversation here and now under these
conditions. “Any woman would have the same reaction,” I hedged with a deep sigh.
“She's very pretty, though.”
He shrugged indifferently. “I suppose she is. A bit much for me though.”
I looked down at my hands.
“Bella, I invited her over specifically to meet my brother. Remember Emmett?”
“Oh. That's very nice of you,” I said meekly.
“Yes. He's going to owe me for a very long time if this works out.”
I looked at him, surprised. He was still staring at me with apprehension. “You're playing
matchmaker? That's kind of unusual isn't it?”
“I thought I'd try my hand at someone else's love life since mine hit a... snag.” He
nervously ran his fingers through is hair.
Just as I'd opened my mouth to ask him what he meant by that there was a loud crash
from the living room followed by roar of laughter. Edward grabbed my hand as I
scrambled up and we hurried out to see Emmett sitting on top of what used to be the
coffee table and which was now a pile of sticks. Everyone was standing around him,
laughing at him, including Rosalie. I'd have felt badly for Emmett except he was laughing
the loudest. I wished, though, that he had picked another time to ruin the furniture as I
was burning to know what Edward had meant about his love life. Worst timing in the world!
Edward chuckled, “I see they've already met each other. He seems to have made quite
an impression. My work is done. I should do this more often, don't you think?”
“Bella! There you are!” Alice came tripping over with Jasper in tow. She stopped short
when she saw the state I was in. “What's wrong?” she demanded. “What happened?”
I lifted my eyes to the ceiling in exasperation. “Nothing happened. I was stupid and I
made a jerk out of myself that's all.” I took a breath and smiled thinly. “All better now. It's
turning out to be a bit wild though don't you think?”
She took my hand and led me to my bathroom so she could repair my make up. “Do you
want to tell me what happened?” she asked as I held a cold washcloth to my eyes.
“No. It was horrible and I'll never live it down.” I shuddered. “I'd rather have had stitches.”
“That bad, huh?” she said as she wiped my face clean of all traces of runny mascara,
then swiped gloss on my lips.
“Pretty much.” There needed to be a subject change, fast. “Aren't you glad so many
people from school came?” I looked up at her.
She shrugged. “Yes. I'm glad to see a few of them again. But I do have an ulterior
motive. Most of us are starting to settle down and get married. I thought it would be
useful to network among our old acquaintances just in case they decided they needed a
wedding planner. And then there's baby showers and Christmas parties...” She grinned
evilly at me in the mirror as she ran a brush through my hair. I was marginally starting to
look better now.
I stared at her in astonishment. “Alice Brandon, are you telling me this was all advertising
for you?”
“Every party I throw is advertising for me, even the ones I have for myself. I'm just lucky
in that I love what I do.” She gave my hair a final pat. “There, you're back to beautiful again.”
I rolled my eyes, “You accuse me of being a lousy liar but you're shameless.”
“I'm telling the truth, Bella. I can't help it if you refuse to believe me.” She slapped the
brush back on the counter and glared at me. “You know what your problem is?”
“No, please enlighten me,” I snapped bitterly.
Alice continued, oblivious to my mood, “You need to learn how to take the good things
that come when they come. If you wait too long, any opportunity you have will have
slipped away. Do you understand me?”
I stared at the floor with my arms crossed over my chest. I was so not in the mood for
one of her talks.
She checked her hair in the mirror, lifting the short spikes a bit with her fingertips. “Now,
I have some networking to do and you have a hot man out there nearly panting to be
with you. Don't sabotage yourself.” She poked me in the chest with her finger for
emphasis, and whirled out of the bathroom smug with herself.
Childishly, I stuck out my tongue behind her back.
“I saw that!” she called out.
When I returned to the party I saw that Emmett and Edward had cleared out the broken
pieces of the coffee table and set them aside. It was probably a good thing the table
broke because people used it as a cue to leave. Before I knew it most of the people from
work were gone and the only ones who were left were from school and Rosalie Hale. I
blushed every time I looked at her. Rosalie had made herself quite at home and was busy
flirting with Emmett, who looked like he was going to eat her up. I didn't get much of a
chance to talk to her beyond a polite introduction from Edward but I was able to hear her
throaty laugh over the din of everyone's conversations. Emmett must have been scoring
some awesome points with her because she stayed near him the whole night.
Eventually, Emmett brought out a videotape and brandished it over his head with a
whoop. A few people whistled and most quickly found seats in anticipation but I was in the
dark. Knowing Emmett's love of theatrics, that tape could be anything.
“What is that?” I asked Edward, who had hovered by my side after I returned from my
room with Alice. He seemed to have forgotten about what had happened in the kitchen
but, then, perhaps he just wanted to keep me in his line of sight to be sure I didn't stick
the knife in his back.
Edward rolled his eyes. “That,” he explained, “is probably a Best of Emmett Video,
Volume... I lost count.”
“Okay - speak Bella, please.”
“He keeps the funniest, most outrageous videos from his police cruiser and saves them.
About once a month he has people over to watch them for a laugh.”
“This is legal?” I asked as I watched Emmett put the tape in the VCR and turn the TV on.
“I have no idea.”
Half an hour later, we were all in tears from laughing. I never knew how creative drunks
could get when they were pulled over by a cop. My dad had never told me about
anything remotely like what I was seeing and he was the Forks police chief for years. I felt
like my childhood had been weirdly deprived.
“Dude!” Eric said, wiping the tears from his eyes. “I can't believe she flashed her tits at you!”
“Did you let her go?” Rosalie asked, sitting next to Emmett.
“No way! She was drunk enough to have killed someone. I arrested her and had her
booked for DUI. Unfortunately, she lost her shirt between her little act and the station...”
Rosalie slapped him in back of the head. “You pervert!”
Emmett didn't even flinch. “I swear I did nothing wrong, either morally or ethically. I even
called in for a female police officer to take her in for me.” He took her hand and kissed the palm
What a schmoozer. But it seemed to pacify her enough so that she leaned down to
whisper in his ear. Whatever she said made Emmett grin in delight.
I had to look away from their little moment feeling slightly irked that they could hit it off so
easily. Why was it never that simple for me? I glanced down at my drink, contemplating a refill.
Then someone shoved a pile of photos into my hand. I stared at the first picture in
confusion and tried to focus. It took me a minute to realize that the grotesque object I
was looking at was a human body.
“Ew, Emmett!” I called out in disgust. “Do you have to show your crime scene photos
here?” Shuddering, I thrust them to Mike, who was sitting next to me. “I'm going to have
nightmares for a week,” I complained, standing up. Edward looked at me, sharply. I had
no idea what that was about.
Apparently the pictures were also too much for Mike. Suddenly he rushed through the
open balcony doors and, crashing into the railing, heaved over the side.
“Oh, I hope that didn't hit anyone,” Alice whispered to Jasper, who was chuckling silently.
Poor Mike, he never had the strongest stomach. But his impromptu performance was the
signal for everyone still remaining to head out. Quick goodbyes were said as people left.
I made sure to get Angela's number, though, so we could meet for lunch sometime soon.
Alice and Jasper were the last ones to leave after helping us tidy up a bit before they
went home.
Finally, I closed the door on them with a sigh of relief. Then I turned to Edward with a
bemused expression. “Did you know Tyler was in jail for armed robbery?”
He blinked at me in surprise. “No.” He paused a second before continuing, “Still, it's not
America's Most Wanted, is it?”
I snorted then walked toward the kitchen to survey the damage in there. I was surprised
to see that the knife was still embedded in the chopping block. I jerked it out and tested
the tip with my thumb. It would need to be sharpened before I could use it again.
“Um, Bella?”
I looked up. Edward had followed me and was standing in the entry to the kitchen, looking
at the knife in my hand.
“Hmm?”
“Remind me to never, ever make you mad.”
What dreadful hot weather we have!
It keeps me in a continual state of inelegance.
Jane Austen – letters to Cassandra.
Chapter 4
I woke up with a start, heart beating a mile a minute, and looked around. The room was
dark and quiet but a dream, fading with each passing second, tugged at my memory. I
stared at a shaft of moonlight that had slipped through a chink in the curtains and tried
to remember what it was that had woken me up. Rubbing the sleep out of my eyes, I
looked at the clock on my nightstand and sighed in frustration - it was only five-thirty. I
flopped back down and tried to clear my mind from the broiling thoughts that had kept me
up the night before.
After a while I decided that getting back to sleep was useless so I kicked the covers off
and got dressed. I heard a faint clacking coming from the dining room and I couldn't place
what the sound was. It was too early for anyone to be moving about, even for Edward
who never slept. I immediately imagined a burglar, though I still had no idea about what
the clacking noise was. I sat stiffly for a second panic welling up inside me, debating
whether or not to scream. My heart beating rapidly, I grabbed a baseball bat that my dad
had given me for emergencies and opened the door quietly, tiptoeing to the end of the
hallway. I peeked my head around the corner and stopped short, the bat falling limply to
my side.
There was Edward, sitting in the moonlit room, hunched over the piano, which he had
muffled somehow, his eyes closed, fingers slowly dancing across the keys. I leaned
against the wall, watching the way his muscles moved under his tight shirt as he played
wanting nothing more than to run my hands through his untidy hair. I felt embarrassed, as
if I was watching something private. I decided to go back to my room but as I turned the
bat bumped against the wall. He opened his eyes and turned his head.
He smiled warmly at me. “Good morning.”
“Um, hi,” I said.
He smiled then looked at the bat in my hand. “What were you going to do with that?”
I looked at him sheepishly. “Oh. I was going to bash you over the head with it.”
His eyebrows shot up.
“I thought you were an intruder,” I explained. “I just heard a noise - I didn't know it was
you.” I leaned the bat against the wall and walked over to the piano. He scooted over
and patted the seat next to him.
I sat down timidly. “You're up early, even for a vampire.” I looked at him. He had the
Chapter: 4
stubble of a five o'clock shadow on his cheeks - I wanted to run my fingertips over his
face to see how scratchy it would be. No one should look that amazing first thing in the
morning. It wasn't fair.
“I went for a run. I'm sorry that I woke you.”
“You still run?” I asked, surprised. But then, if he ran at dead o'clock in the morning, it
was no wonder I never knew.
He grinned at me, “I have to, you keep me very well fed.”
“Sorry.” I glanced quickly at his very fit torso then down to his muscular legs, and back up
to his perfect face, blushing at my obviousness. I cleared my throat silently.
He leaned closer to me, his shoulder brushing up against mine slightly. I breathed him in
– he was tangy from his morning run mixed in with his normally heady scent. It made me
slightly dizzy and I was quietly screaming inside as I restrained myself from running my
tongue along his jawline to see how salty he would taste.
“Don't be,” he whispered. “I am absolutely not complaining. At all.” He straightened up
again and stroked the keys softly for a minute, thinking about something. “Did you ever
learn?” he asked in his normal voice.
“Hmm?” Oh. The piano. I shrugged. “Not really. I had lessons for two years but I didn't
care for it. But, I can pick out Jingle Bells and the theme to Jaws so the money wasn't
entirely wasted.” I glanced up at him, smiling playfully. “And the accompaniment to Heart
and Soul, but everyone knows that.”
He chuckled to himself and did something with his foot on the pedals, then touched a key.
It rang out clearly. He gestured to me with one hand. “Go on. Play.”
I looked at him like he had lost his mind. “It's six o'clock in the morning,” I hissed. “The
neighbors are going to hate us.”
“I don't care,” he said blithely, running his thumb down all the keys - something I'd never
been able to do without ripping a nail– and smiled at me with encouragement.
“Um...” I looked at the keyboard and tried to remember what to do. Why did I have to
brag? Nervously, I placed my fingers on the keys and, taking a breath, I started playing
the notes - softly at first and then, louder when I started gaining confidence, bobbing my
head in time to the beat. It was hard to concentrate because I kept glancing at Edward,
who picked up the melody on cue, a smile playing on his lips. He played flawlessly, his
fingers trickling through the notes. I tore my eyes from his face and watched his
beautiful hands and the way they moved over the keys, seemingly without any effort.
With a rush, my old eleventh grade fantasies came over me and I couldn't breathe
properly. I wondered how loud it would get if I took him up against the piano and-
He started singing softly, his voice clear and velvety smooth.
“...I fell in love with you heart and soul. The way a fool would do, mad-ly...” He turned
his head toward me, his eyes full of emotion and indecision, his voice trailing off.
My fingers fumbled in a cacophony of sound. My heart skidded to a stop then sped back
up. He was so close. Those amazing, suckable lips were within inches from mine. All I had
to do was lean over just a little bit and I could press my mouth to his. He leaned in closer,
his eyes holding mine, questioning me. My lips parted and my eyelids were fluttering
closed, ready for him...
An angry pounding on the wall broke the spell, making me jump with a small gasp.
“Knock it off, Beethoven!” our irate neighbor shouted. “Some people are trying to sleep!”
We both straightened up quickly. He cleared his throat quietly and looked straight ahead
at the wall. Stupid, touchy neighbors!
“Sorry, I lost it.” I smiled uneasily, trying hard to remember the mechanics of breathing.
It was much easier to do if I didn't look at him.
“You were perfect,” he said softly.
“No, it was bad.” I looked down at my hands, still splayed on the keys. It took all my
concentration to keep from pouncing on him. I wondered why he didn't pounce on me. I
would never figure him out in a million years. “You still play beautifully though,” I said
trying to rein my emotions in.
“Years and years of practice,” he murmured almost to himself. He was lost in thought; his
hands were clenched in fists on his lap so tightly that his knuckles were white with the strain.
“Well, it paid off.” I stifled a yawn – they always pop up at the wrong moments.
He smiled softly. “It's still early. Maybe you should try to get more rest.”
I shook my head and stood up, not quite trusting my shaky knees. “No, I'm not even close
to tired.” And that was the truth - at least, mostly.
He tilted his head and looked up at me. “If you're not tired, then, what would you like to do?”
Oh, what a loaded question! The only proper answer to that was Edward Cullen.
I took a shaky breath and said the first thing that came to mind. “I was thinking of
getting some coffee and then watching them throw fish at the market.” What did I just
say? Stupid!
“Do they still do that?” he asked intrigued. He got up with a groan and bent down to touch
his toes with the tips of his fingers. “I should have stretched more, I'm all stiff.”
“Mmm.” I watched him, fascinated, then hurriedly looked away when he straightened up.
He looked at me, slightly nervous and absolutely edible. He hesitated for a microsecond,
thinking something through. “I was thinking...”
“Hmm?” I was staring at his face, trying to calm myself.
“Well, I was thinking that you're always feeding me -”
Well, yeah. One of the reasons for that was that I liked the way his mouth moved. I smiled.
“And I'd like to return the favor.”
I blinked. “You're going to cook?”
“No,” he said with a smile. “I'll buy you breakfast.”
Can't he be breakfast? “I'll just put my shoes on - be right back.” I popped around the
corner, then stuck my head back out and pointed my finger at him, “Don't move.”
I heard him chuckle to himself as I ran to my room to strap on my sandals. I grabbed my
purse and ran back to find him in the same spot where I'd left him. “Okay, I didn't mean
that literally. I'm ready, though.” I wondered if he'd obey everything I demanded of him.
A goofy grin erupted on my face at the things I'd make him do. He looked at me oddly, no
doubt trying to figure out what I was thinking.
I glanced in the mirror by the door and stopped, grimacing at my reflection. I'd forgotten
how early I'd woken up; my hair was a complete disaster despite the brief comb through
I'd given it. “Ew.”
I dug an elastic band out of my purse and started to put my hair in a ponytail when
Edward loomed up in back of me and put his hands gently on mine to stop me. “Don't,” he
said, simply. “You're beautiful.”
I gaped at him, stunned, my heart slamming against my chest. “Do you need your
glasses?” I sputtered, looking at him in the mirror. My face was nearly in flames. I bit my
lip, trying not to let him know how much his touch affected me, though I knew it was a
lost cause.
He stared back, his green eyes dazzling me. “There's nothing wrong with my eyesight,”
he murmured softly, dropping his hands from mine before straightening up with a deep
breath. “Are you ready?”
I could only nod and followed him out the door.
We walked in silence most of the way to the cafe. I kept thinking about how he was about
to kiss me only minutes before – at least, that was the impression I had gotten - and
now, here we were strolling down the street as if nothing had happened. I was so
frustrated I wanted to bite something – Edward, specifically. Was I really that
undesirable? What was going on in that brain of his? I glared at him out of the corner of
my eye and caught him looking at me.
“What are you thinking?” he asked, surprised at the change in my mood.
I shrugged and crossed my arms over my chest, wishing I'd brought a sweater as the
morning was a bit chilly. “You don't really want to know,” I muttered and trudged onward.
We'd reached the Harbor Steps and walked up the stairs to Tully's. Edward held the door
for me as we walked in, the smell of fresh coffee lifting my mood significantly. We got
muffins to go with our coffee and when our order was ready he led me outside to some
tables set up on the terrace. I sat down at a table overlooking the waterfall, and to my
surprise Edward sat in the chair next to me instead of across from me as was usual. I
wanted to reach out to him, just to touch him to see if he was real.
I sipped my coffee as we watched people stroll by, pondering how far I was willing to take
my relationship with Edward. I wanted to be more than just roommates. No, that was
putting it too mildly. I was willing to go as far as the ends of the earth with him and nearly
ready to do whatever it took to get there. What I wasn't so sure about was what he
wanted from me. I'd seen him look at me in a way that hinted he found me attractive.
Okay, if I were being honest with myself, I could admit that there were more than just
looks. Sometimes, when he watched me, it seemed like he was keeping himself from
ravishing me then and there. But, as he'd always behaved himself, I couldn't be sure if it
was simply just a case of giving my imagination too much free rein. And I didn't want to
think of Edward as the type of man who'd sleep with someone just because she's available.
Even if that someone - namely me – was very available. I frowned at my muffin.
“Okay, now tell me what you're thinking,” he asked, holding his cup in both hands.
I looked over at him and I couldn't help but smile. The sun had peeked out of the cloud
cover and was beaming down on us for a brilliant moment, glinting off of his messy bronze
hair. “Did you know you sparkle in the sunlight?” I asked him. I fluttered my fingers at him.
“Your hair is all shiny.”
He chuckled and watched me over his cup as he sipped his coffee, “No, I didn't know that.
But I notice that yours has some red to it.”
“Hard to see it when it's cloudy.” I finished my muffin and waited for him so we could walk
back to the apartment. “So,” I asked, grasping for things to talk about. “Any more
traveling in the future?”
He groaned. “Yes. I'm gone next week. I'll be traveling for most of July and August. And
then in September I leave for about two months.”
I stared at him in despair. “You're going to burn out if you keep this up.”
“The project is winding up. There are a lot of us going to help supervise before the
launch.” He ran a hand over his face then pinched the bridge of his nose. “Rosalie is
coming this time. I can hardly wait - I get to hear all about Emmett, the Great, ” he said
sarcastically. “It's bad enough I get to hear about Rosalie, the Bendable from him.” He
shook his head as if to get the images out of his mind.
I couldn't help but feel a spike of jealousy at the thought of Rosalie going with Edward,
even if it was for work. “It's nice that things are working out between them,” I said
diplomatically.
“Yeah, it is.” He glanced at me. “Did you know Emmett took her to meet our parents?”
“They're already at that stage? Wow.” I frowned, staring down at the remains my
breakfast. Of course, I'd already met Edward's parents ages ago. In fact, I knew his
father quite well due to my frequent visits to the emergency room during high school. Dr.
Cullen was an attending physician - I practically had my own parking spot at the hospital.
Meeting them wasn't a big deal to me. So why did I have this ache inside?
“Emmett's never been one to hold back,” he explained, wryly.
I stared at him, waiting for him to continue, but he must have lost his train of thought
because he just stared at the passersby with a melancholy expression.
“And you do? Hold back, I mean.”
He thought about that for a second before answering. “No, I'm too selfish.” He smiled
ruefully. “But there are a few... instances where I haven't just snatched what I wanted.”
“What would those be?”
“Nothing you'd be very interested in, I'm afraid.” He glanced at the sky which was starting
to darken again. “Looks like the beautiful weather is gone for now. Did you want to keep
walking or go back home?”
“I don't care.” I got up with a sigh and gathered the trash, throwing it into the garbage
can. “Thanks for breakfast.”
“It was my pleasure. Although this wasn't exactly the world's best meal.” He walked over
to stand in front of me, touching my fingers lightly with his. “I'll take you to breakfast
whenever you want.”
Ohhh, you... Fine, Edward, the Tease, two could play at that game. I looked up at him
out of lowered lashes – something I'd seen Alice do quite productively to Jasper – and
smiled, “Well, you can take me anytime...”
He stopped as if stunned, then smiled wickedly, eyes flashing dangerously.
“To breakfast,” I clarified, tugging on his fingers playfully. “I love breakfast. It's the most
important meal of the day.”
The way his eyes darkened told me I'd hit a bull's-eye. I did a happy Snoopy dance inside.
I had his attention - I just needed to keep it. Suddenly, I was in the mood for something
outrageous. Something that required... shoes.
I needed to call Alice.
“Are you sure we have to go all the way to Bellevue just to look for clothes?”
Alice rolled her eyes and concentrated on navigating her way around the incessant
traffic. “You're the one who called me. You called me. I'm not dragging you to Bellevue
with a gun held to your head. You asked me for advice, didn't you? Didn't you? You
wanted help – I'm helping. So do not question the manner in which I provide it. I would
rather you just said, “Thank you” and wear what I pick out without any argument. Are we
clear?”
I stared at her with my mouth open. “You've been watching A Few Good Men again
haven't you? I hate it when Jasper's on his drill weekends and you watch his war movies.
They turn you into a little despot.”
She whipped her head toward me and snapped, “I said, are we clear?”
I sighed and said my line. “Crystal.”
She beamed at me. “Great! Now relax, Bella. I want you to have fun.”
I gave her a tight smile and concentrated on not stomping on the non-existent passenger
brake – Alice drove a little too recklessly for my comfort.
She pulled into the parking garage at Bellevue Square and slipped her yellow Porsche into
a spot up on the third level then turned the ignition off, looking at me thoughtfully.
“What is it?” I asked warily, sure she was going to try to force me to do something I
would never in a million years wish to do..
Alice shook her head. “I've been wanting to talk to you for a few days now and I haven't
been able to think of a way to broach the subject.”
I blanched. “Who's dying?”
“What? No! It's nothing like that. It's...” She hesitated before looking at me carefully. “I
have a client I would like you to meet.”
“You're setting me up?” I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to block the pounding headache
that was threatening to erupt.
“No! Geez, Bella, just listen to me and keep an open mind, okay?” She waited until I
opened my eyes and looked at her before continuing. “He's a very wealthy man with a
spoiled girlfriend and her birthday is in August. He's hired me to plan a birthday party for
her, only it's just for the two of them.”
“I'm sorry, he needs to hire someone to plan a party for two? People do this?”
“Be quiet, Bella! There's more to it than just blowing up balloons,” she snapped. “There's a
ton of things to coordinate. He's renting out half the park, hiring a string quartet – heck,
he's even having the grounds replanted with her favorite flowers-”
“Who is this person?” I asked incredulously.
Alice went on as if I hadn't said a thing, “So far I've got everything lined up except for
the caterer. He's finicky.”
“I'll bet!” I snorted.
She hesitated then continued, “The thing is, Bella, I think you'd be perfect for the job.”
“For- wait, what job?”
“To cater my event. It would help me out so much.”
“You want me to cook for this hard-to-please client of yours?”
“Yes.”
I thought about it for a minute before stepping out of the car and walking across the
breezeway.
Alice followed me, running to catch up. “It'll be a lot easier than it sounds. I'll be there to
help and no one will even see us, we'll be completely invisible.” She bounced on her toes
as she walked. “Please say you'll meet with him. Please. Please. Please.”
I rolled my eyes. I would have done it even if she hadn't begged me, but I was sadistic
enough to make her. “Relax, Alice, I'll meet with him. What do I have to do?”
Alice danced a jig in the entryway of the mall. “Yes! I knew you would! This will be so
great! All you have to do is prepare a few samples for him to try and if he likes it, he'll
hire you. And that's it - it's like an audition. I'll be there since it's part of my job so you
won't feel uncomfortable. Bella, this is a huge opportunity for me. I can't tell you how
much I appreciate it.”
“He hasn't hired me yet,” I pointed out, trying to bring her back to earth. I opened the
wide door to the mall and walked in, Alice at my heels. “For all you know he'll have to
suppress his gag reflex the entire time.”
“Don't be silly, you're a fantastic cook. I wouldn't have asked you to do this if I didn't think that.”
“You're wonders for my ego, Alice.” I stopped when I realized I had no idea where to
go. “Now what?”
Alice's eyes sparkled. “Now, we go hunting.” She took my hand and dragged me forward.
I struggled with a bit of fabric that had dangly straps and mean-looking buckles that Alice
had thrust over the dressing room door. “Mmmf! I can't get this thing on. Are you sure
this is meant to be worn?”
“Yes, it's gorgeous.”
“But what's the point if I can't get it on?” I asked desperately.
She hit the door with exasperation. “Maybe you can shove it under his door and let him
dream about you in it?”
“That doesn't even make sense! Ugh. Forget it.” I balled the dress up and tossed it back
over the side.
“Hey! Watch it!”
“Alice, listen to me. Find me something blue. Not too short, not too tight, nothing
complicated. You know my style – I'm not trying to change that - I just want a bit of
oomph, you know?
“Blue,” she clarified, confused.
“Twilight blue.”
I heard her give a deep sigh, “Fine. I'll be right back.”
I waited in the dressing room with my arms crossed over my chest doing a good job of not
looking at myself in the horrible department store lighting; before long Alice rapped her
knuckles on the door. I opened it and she slipped in with a bundle of blue fabric draped
over her arm.
“You know twilight blue or whatever isn't exactly in fashion now,” she said as she hung
the clothes up on a hook. “I had to do my best with what they had.”
“Okay. Let's see what you've got.” I rifled through them and sorted them out into two
categories: Definitely Not and Maybe. I took the first maybe and pulled it on.
Alice zipped me up and I turned to look in the mirror.
I wrinkled my nose. “No.”
Alice nodded her head in agreement and unzipped me again. “So, what brought on this
sudden bout of shopping? Not that I'm complaining, mind you! I'm glad. But I am curious.”
I hesitated, unwilling to admit my reasons; but then, who better to have on my side than
the most devious person I knew? “I'm trying to attract Edward's attention.”
Her eyes widened with surprise. “Really? I mean, seriously? But, Bella, you already have
his attention, believe me. Every time I'm around you guys he's always watching you.
You're all he sees. The man is practically in pain wanting to be with you. You can't tell me
you don't see it!”
“I do, sometimes. But he never does anything so I can't be sure. I mean, he has me
breathless nearly every single night and that's just by looking at me. He's the world's
biggest tease,” I complained. “The other morning I thought we were going to... but
nothing happened because our stupid neighbor banged on the wall and said we were
being too loud...”
Alice's eyes widened in shock. I probably should have explained that better.
I grabbed her shoulders and shook her in frustration. “Alice, I'm going to explode if he
doesn't do something soon!”
“Ow!” She danced out of my grasp. “Why don't you make the first move?”
“I can't. What if I'm wrong? Or worse, what if I'm right but things go to pieces?”
“Ugh! Listen to you. You're giving me a headache. What if you're right but you do nothing
at all, then what?”
“Then... I don't know.” I pulled off the dress and hung it back up. I glared at it for a
moment trying to think things through. “You're right, I do have his attention. I just have
to find a way to prod him.”
“I thought you wanted him to prod you?”
“Alice!” I blushed furiously. “It's more than sex, you little... Just...” I was speechless.
“Ugh! You know what? This is silly. Here, help me put these back. I don't need new clothes
for this.”
“Noooooooo!” she wailed. “You do! You do need new clothes. Please, Bella, just one tiny,
little dress. It's blue.” She held it up, her big puppy dog eyes pleading with me.
I shook my head and finished getting dressed – keyed up with energy. “No.” I slid my
shoes on and straightened up, meeting her pouting face. “You know what? Tell me more
about this client of yours. I'll buy you lunch and we'll go over everything I need to do.”
“Fine,” Alice grumbled at me. “But under protest.”
“Oh, don't be such a baby.” I took her by the arm and dragged her out of the department store.
The rest of June came and went, and so did Edward's birthday, which he spent in Japan
(my pantry thanked him). I used most of the month working with Alice, preparing for her
eccentric client and his two-person function.
July rolled around. The first book I helped edit was published – Alice threw a party.
Edward was absent for nearly the entire month and I signed up for an advanced Italian
cooking course to help pass the time.
I saw very little of him but he called me often from the road just to talk. I memorized the
sound of his voice over the phone and knew every single phone number he used by heart
since he had a different one depending on which country he was calling from.
Before I knew it, it was mid-August and with it came an unbearable heatwave. On one
hand, having spent six years in Arizona, I knew what a real heatwave was like and I
hated to complain about it in front of people because they looked at me as if I'd grown
another head. But, on the other hand, at least apartments in the Southwest had air
conditioners. And I didn't have to deal with the constant humidity. The sticky weather
had made me grumpy, and I was almost relieved when Edward left for a week-long trip.
I'd be able to be irritable as much as I wanted without an audience.
I'd made it through an insufferable three days but Saturday was, by far, the worst. I'd
tried the pool but a children's birthday party drove me away in record time - more than
willing to die of heat stroke than endure another minute of the mind-blowing chaos.
Desperate for relief, I finally stripped down to my undies and a tank top and spread out
on my bed with every fan in the place pointed directly at me. It helped a little but I still felt
like I was going to melt into a puddle of goo.
Frustrated, I stalked to the kitchen to refresh my ice water. I opened the freezer door
and a blast of cold air hit me with full force. Nearly ecstatic with relief, I stood there
relishing the feel of the air on my skin without even bothering to think of the food that
was stored in it or the cost of the electricity bill. The motor kicked in and started to hum
loudly to compensate for the door being open. I grabbed a handful of ice and dumped it
into my glass and filled it with water then rubbed the glass on my forehead, silently
praying for the heat spell to end. Setting the drink down on the counter, I started to lift
my shirt up over my head when I heard Edward's amused voice.
“I have no objection to you stripping down but you might want to know that someone is
standing right behind you.”
Screaming at the top of my lungs, I spun around to see Edward three feet away from me
with a crooked smile on his very handsome, very pleased face.
There was nowhere I could hide. The door was skinny and the shelves were full. I
panicked. I grabbed a bag of frozen peas and held it in front of me like a shield.
His eyes danced wickedly. “No, that doesn't hide anything.”
“What are you doing here?” I cried. I couldn't believe my rotten luck. A thousand years of
perfect bliss couldn't make up for this moment of extreme torture.
“See, this is why I love coming home - I never know what I'll find you doing.” His eyes
sparkled exuberantly. “Though, I confess I had no idea you'd be half-naked. Is this what
you do when I'm not here?” he asked brightly. He'd shoved his hands deep into his
pockets and leaned against the counter, watching me. His face was still full of pleasure
but there was something more intense bubbling to the surface.
“You are three days early,” I accused. “Turn around!”
“I'd considered taking a picture. I could use it as my screen saver.”
“You didn't!” I gasped and nearly fell backward into the freezer, my predicament
momentarily forgotten with this newfound threat.
“Of course not, what do you take me for?”
I couldn't believe it, he actually seemed offended.
By now I was nearly bouncing with anger. “Someone who's not turning around!”
There was only one thing I could do. I threw the rapidly thawing bag of peas at his head
and, when he caught it, high-tailed it to my room, slamming the door behind me. I
half-expected him to follow me but he didn't. I flopped on my bed, buried my face in a
pillow and screamed. This was not how I wanted to attract his attention. Well, a bit of
warning would have been better. Maybe some makeup. And I'd have shaved my legs. Oh
no. I rolled over, pulling the pillow over my head. Suffocating myself was a viable
alternative to spontaneously combusting. If he wasn't prodded after that, then I really
had no chance with him.
Five minutes later Edward knocked gently.
“What do you want?” My voice was muffled under the pillow. I didn't care if he heard me or not.
“I brought you some ice water.”
I lifted the pillow and stared at the door. “What?”
“You said you were hot.”
I was. And now I was hot and bothered with no end in sight. I stayed silent, unsure if I
could face him just yet.
“Bella?”
I sighed. “What?”
“I'm sorry.”
“No, you're not.”
He didn't say anything for a few seconds. “I'm sorry that you're embarrassed,” he
clarified. “You shouldn't be, though. I should have let you know I was standing there
sooner. I was a bit... befuddled to see you like that. It's my only excuse.”
I got up and opened the door a crack. “Befuddled?” I asked.
He smiled sheepishly. “How about awestruck?”
“Seriously?” I opened the door further, looking at him with an eyebrow raised. “Awestruck?”
“Come out,” he pleaded.
“Where's my water?” I demanded.
He handed it to me, silently watching with lidded eyes as I gulped it down.
“I hate this weather,” I said when the glass was drained.
“Really? It's just become my favorite.” He held up the soggy bag of peas. “Did you want this?”
“No, you can put it back in the freezer. It was just there for emergencies anyway.”
“Emergency peas?”
“I tend to fall down a lot - trip on things. Get bruises,” I explained. “Um. Did you want
something?” Why did my voice have to crack just then?
He stared at me for a long time, trying to formulate an answer. I tilted my head to the
side and waited, holding my breath.
“You have all the fans,” was his brilliant reply.
I sighed. “Just a minute.” I closed the door and pulled some shorts on, grumbling to
myself. Honestly, it would take a two-by-four upside the head to get him to take a hint.
I went back to let him in but he made no move to enter my room. His hands were by his
sides, clenched, lips pressed together in a white line.
“Now what?” I asked rudely.
He let out a shuddering breath and stared at me, his eyes smoldering with pent up
passion, “I'm trying – very hard – to be good.”
“Is it hard for you?” Never mind the double-entendre, I needed to know why he ran so
hot and cold all the time. He was driving me crazy.
His whispered reply was hoarse, “Very.”
I tried to keep my voice from shaking, “What if I want you to be bad?” I wanted so much
to reach out and stroke his face. Just to touch him. I didn't think it was too much to ask,
but he seemed to be laboring with effort so I restrained myself, crossing my arms over
my chest, grabbing my sides until I ached.
“I'm not sure that would be the best thing.”
I blinked rapidly. I felt tears of rejection well up and I grimaced, trying to keep my
emotions in check – and failing miserably. I was determined not to let him see me cry. “I
see.” I swallowed hard, audibly. “Well, Heaven forbid you do something you don't want to
do.” I took a deep breath and continued frostily, “If you don't mind, I have some things I
need to get done for work. Bye.”
Not daring to look at his face lest he see how much pain I was in, I closed the door on
him. Then I sat in the empty tub with my head on my knees and cried my heart out.
Because sometime between our fateful meeting the afternoon when we were both looking
for an apartment and now - during our mornings together, and evenings at home, and
the weekends spent in his company - I'd fallen irrevocably in love with him.
And now I'd gotten the answer to my unasked question: No.
I know a way to stay friends forever,
There's really nothing to it,
I tell you what to do,
And you do it.
Shel Silverstein
Chapter 5
The next day continued hot and miserable and, thanks to the emotional roller coaster I
was on, I felt battered all over as if I'd gone through a horrific accident. Edward had
knocked on my door a few times during the night, asking me to come out, but I blew him
off using work as an excuse. Then, eventually, I just stopped answering, lying in the
dark, pretending to be asleep. He even tried opening the door once but thankfully, I'd
locked it earlier – a reflex I'd be sure to develop fully if he planned on barging in uninvited.
Sleep was impossible. When I did manage to close my eyes, I just saw Edward's face as
he told me he didn't want me – worse than any nightmare I could have had. I didn't know
how to handle this tormented situation with him though I spent most of the night trying
to work out a plan – when I wasn't dwelling on the misery that I'd brought upon myself.
Edward was going to be home for at least the next four weeks. Before last night I would
have rejoiced, but now all I wanted to do was crawl under my bed and die. And yet, I had
to put on a normal appearance as if what had happened the day before didn't affect me at all.
I had no idea how to go about this.
But, since I had to face him at some point, the least I could do was try. I'd made up my
mind sometime during the night that all my interaction with him from now on would be
friendly, but aloof. As if the whole thing had never happened. No more indulging in stupid
fantasies. No more wishful thinking. No more intimate dinners. Or breakfasts. Or lunches.
Or strolls. Or sitting together on the couch talking... I'd realized how much I depended on
being near him. That was not healthy for me in the long run, especially as I'd managed to
misinterpret everything he did. I'd deliberately deceived myself - I had no other excuse. I
started crying again when I realized that loving Edward was something that I wouldn't be
able to get over. Not fully. Not in this lifetime. I may as well cut out my heart. It already
felt like a hole had ripped it open.
I stayed in my room until noon, racking my brain to think of a legitimate reason to get out
of the house and hoping to delay seeing Edward until later, but naturally, now that I
wanted him to avoid him, he was waiting for me.
He was standing in the kitchen stirring a cup of coffee, wearing the same clothes as the
night before and looking like he hadn't slept. His green eyes were care-worn and had dark
circles underneath. He also hadn't bothered to shave. A tiny bit of me was glad that he
was affected in some way by what happened though it annoyed me that even with a
Chapter: 5
restless night he could still look incredible.
I thought about trying to sneak past him but the odds of him catching me and the idea of
looking even more stupid in front of him made me square my shoulders and march past
him on the way to the door, face already blazing.
“Bella, wait!” he called out. “I was hoping to see you.” He came after me holding the
coffee in one hand and offered it to me. I took it from him automatically.
“Can I talk to you for a minute?” he asked, eyes pleading with me.
No! Don't fall for it. I quickly downed the coffee, the hot liquid burning my tongue in the
process, and handed the empty cup back to him.
“Can't. I slept in, now I'm running late,” I lied through my teeth. “Thanks for the coffee.
See you later.” The look of disappointment on his face almost made me change my mind,
but I held firm. I controlled myself enough to keep from running out of the apartment,
but when the door was safely closed behind me, I sprinted to the elevator just in case he
tried to follow me.
Typically, the elevator took its time, but once it arrived, I scooted inside and started
banging my head repeatedly against the wall. Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! “Gah!” I jerked back
as I felt small, cold hands on my knees. I looked down into the face of a baby in a stroller
then up in horror into the face of a clearly unamused mother. “Sorry,” I said, trying to
calm my shaking voice. “Bad morning.”
“Yes, I can see that.”
I left the apartment without a plan and so I wound up driving straight ahead for several
miles until I found myself at the exit for Marymoor Park. On an impulse I got off the
highway and turned up the winding road. I spent most of the afternoon sitting on a
bench, staring at some bees lazily flitting from flower to flower.
I'd started to seriously regret my impulsive decision to move in with Edward. It was
probably the biggest mistake I'd ever made in my life. If I'd given it half a second's
thought, I might have realized that I'd fall deeply in love with him - after all, I'd been half
in love with him all through high school and had idealized him ever since. The fact that he
was every bit as good as I'd imagined made it even easier for me to fall for him. A further
half second would have told me that he'd never be able to return my feelings and I'd have
run screaming in the other direction instead of signing the lease.
But I was obviously too dazzled by Edward to be thinking clearly that day.
I came to one major conclusion.
I decided to throw myself whole-heartedly into the catering job Alice had set up for me,
making the day perfect for her client. And, hopefully he'd spread the word to his friends
about me. I knew Alice would have other small catering jobs for me if I asked her. Plenty
of people had second jobs - I'd find the time somehow.
I could think of it as found money. After expenses, every single penny would be put into
my savings account and when the year was over and the lease was up, I'd move out. I
couldn't do another year there with Edward. I didn't even know how I was going to get
through another day.
By the time twilight arrived with its inky blue sky, I had been sitting for hours. My butt
was completely asleep and my stomach was growling loudly even though the thought of
eating made me nauseous. I groaned as I got up, shaking my legs, trying to get feeling
back into them as I limped back to my truck.
The apartment was dark and deserted when I got back and I breathed a sigh of relief – at
least I didn't have to face Edward right away. I still had no idea what to say to him about
last night, or if anything needed to be said at all. I felt a bit more human once I had a
warm shower and washed the day's grime away. Once I had my hair dry, I pulled on
Edward's shirt and hopped into bed, still weary from the past twenty-four hours, hoping
that I'd fall right asleep.
Not long after I lay down, I heard the front door open and Edward's footsteps, heavier
than usual, walk down the hallway to my room. He knocked quietly again, as he had the
night before and when I didn't answer, turned the doorknob. Damn! I'd forgotten to lock
the door. I quickly rolled over and closed my eyes, breathing deeply, exaggerating the
movement. Apparently, peeking in wasn't enough, because he stepped into the room
and walked up to the bed. I could feel him staring at me and it took all my effort to keep
my eyes closed and my breathing even.
Then he gently sat on the edge of the bed and leaned over me, slowly brushing a strand
of hair from my face. His warm breath tickled my ear. “You are a lousy actress. I just
thought you should know.”
My eyes flew open and stared into his intense green eyes. “Damn. I guess I'll have to
toss out my Hollywood or Bust car sign.” I squirmed underneath his gaze. His fingers were
still fiddling with my hair, driving me to distraction. “What did you want?”
“I wanted to see you. You've been gone all day.”
“You've been gone all week,” I retorted.
“I hurried back as fast as I could,” he said earnestly. “You didn't answer your phone.”
“I turned it off.” I wished he would look away because I couldn't think properly when he
stared at me like that. A person could forget to breathe looking into eyes like his.
He seemed to process that for a few seconds. “Mind if I stay for a bit?” he asked,
looking down at the space next to me.
I shook my head.
He slipped off his shoes and socks and lay down next to me. I raised my head so he could
slide his arm underneath.
I snuggled up next to him, resting my head on his shoulder, breathing him in. He was in
my bed and in my arms, though not in the way I'd hoped. I was nearly undone by the
way he seemed to fit perfectly against me. It was an exquisite torture to be so close to
him, but my confused brain kept screaming at me to stop before I got myself into a
deeper mess.
I felt the rumble of his low voice surround me as he spoke.
“Bella, about yesterday-”
I stiffened in his arms, waiting for the blow.
If he felt me tense up, he didn't show any signs of it. “I'm so sorry. I was horrible. I just
wanted to tell you-”
“Look, I get it,” I interrupted him abruptly. “It's okay. You don't have to explain anything
to me.” Why couldn't he just be quiet and let me enjoy this precious, magical moment? I
didn't need a whole list of reasons why he didn't want me. I kept my eyes closed and my
face deliberately hidden underneath my hair - I wouldn't be able to trust myself if I looked
at him.
“But-”
“Forget it, Edward,” I said firmly into his shoulder.
“Can I just-”
No. No. No. No! “Please, be quiet?” I pleaded. Honestly, if I had to hit him over the head
with my bat, I would.
It did the trick. He was silent for a while, breathing hard, his heartbeat surprisingly fast.
Or maybe it was just my own erratic heartbeat echoing against him somehow.
“Do you want me to leave?” he asked after a few minutes when he was under better
control of himself.
I squeezed him closer. No way. “Stay. I'm too comfortable.”
“Okay.” He reached over and stroked my hair out of my face again, softly running his
thumb over my cheek. My eyes were just starting to close when he leaned down and
kissed the top of my head, nuzzling his nose in my hair. My breath hitched as his fingers
traveled down to trace my lips, then cup my face within his hand, holding me softly to his chest.
It wasn't fair. Why did he have to go and do something like this to me when I've been
trying to resolve myself to being just his friend? Now I was going to have to start all over
again from scratch. There was no way I could sleep now.
“Get some rest, Bella,” he said.
“What about you?” I asked.
I felt his chest shake as he chuckled silently. “I'm not at all tired.”
“Of course not.” I rolled my eyes so hard I'm sure he could feel it.
My heart was racing at his caress – surely he could feel it. But eventually, as he softly
stroked my cheek, my heartbeat returned to its normal rhythm and sleep came.
The next thing I was aware of was the sound of rain pattering against my bedroom
window. I groaned: the thought of another workweek was unbearable. I burrowed my
face deeper into my pillow, hugging it tighter until I woke up enough to realize that pillows
do not have ribs. Nor do they chuckle. Startled, I lifted my head up to see Edward staring
back at me with a beguiled look on his face.
“Good morning,” he said as he brushed my hair out of my eyes.
I blinked at him, disoriented. “I can't believe you stayed the whole night.”
He seemed surprised at me. “You asked me to.”
“How long have you been lying here awake?”
He glanced over at the clock. “Not long. About an hour.”
“That's all?”
“I got a lot more sleep than I usually do.”
“You must have been bored.”
He laughed silently. “Quite the opposite, I assure you.”
I rolled onto my back and stretched like a cat with my arms over my head and legs out
stiff. I groaned once more as I felt my body loosen up from the curled position I'd slept in
all night. “I don't feel like working today.”
“Me neither. Let's call in sick.”
I let go of my stretch with a huff and looked at him, wondering what he was thinking. He
was downright chipper. “I can't. I have a stupid, boring meeting to go to.”
“You can't skip it?” he teased.
“I'm the one that called it.”
He considered that for a second. “How about meeting me for dinner then?”
I turned my head away and stared at the ceiling. What he was trying to do? Did he think
that being extra nice to me would make up for my humiliation? Did he realize how hard
this was for me? What was he even doing in my bed? I kicked the sheet off and sat up,
swinging my legs over the side of the bed. It was so much easier to resist when I didn't
have to look at him. “I have to get ready for work,” I said hoarsely. “And so do you,” I
reminded him.
“Will I see you later?” he asked me.
“I live here don't I?” I snipped, evading his question. “You see me all the time.”
“I'd like to take you out.”
“It's not necessary.” I closed my eyes tightly, willing myself not to break down. I could
feel his eyes on me, watching for something. I wished he'd just tell me what it was he wanted.
“I didn't say it was.” His voice was patient. “I want to take you to dinner.”
“Look, Edward, that's nice of you and all, but I'm not keeping score. Just forget it.” I
sighed, already exhausted. “I need to get dressed now. Would you leave?”
I felt the bed bounce and shift as he got up. When I heard the door open, I caved and
looked at him over my shoulder. His face was scrunched up with painful fury as he left
the room, closing the door behind him. I couldn't imagine what he was so mad about. I'd
just saved him from taking me out on a mercy date.
Though I'd gotten more sleep than I thought possible under the circumstances, I was a
complete zombie at work. I may as well have called in sick as Edward had suggested for
all the work I got done, and I nearly fell asleep at my own meeting. I was practically
mainlining coffee by the time five-thirty rolled around, so not only was I was mentally
exhausted, but jittery from the caffeine as well.
Alice called me right before I quitting time. “We're all heading to Txori's tonight.”
My ears perked, “What's the occasion?”
“Nothing special, we just want to do something fun.” Her tone was much too innocent.
“Mmm hmm.” Liar! Liar! Pants on fire!
“You'll be there, right?” she prodded.
I stared at my reflection in the computer monitor. I looked like the living dead. I didn't
want to go out. But then, I'd never be able to shake her if I tried to beg out of it. I
sighed, “Sure. I'll be there.”
“Great! See you at seven. We have reservations so don't be late. Oh, do you want to
call Edward or should I?”
I hated the way my stomach flopped when I heard his name. “Um.” Don't panic! “You'd
better do it. I've got to get some stuff done if I'm heading out in time.”
“'Kay! See you later!”
She hung up just as I was saying “bye”. I shut my phone and took stock of the situation.
I was an emotional wreck.
I would never be able to hide that from Alice.
I would never in a million, jillion years tell anyone exactly what happened last weekend.
I would have to do some major damage control if I wanted to pass inspection.
As soon as I could, I shut everything down, grabbed my purse and headed to the ladies'
bathroom. I quickly brushed my hair and touched up my lip gloss. I suspected it was a
fruitless effort since I was going to be jostled around on the bus, but I had to make the
effort if I was going to fool Alice. Or Edward. I glanced down at my outfit, relieved that
I'd dressed in all black – always appropriate for funerals, the occasional Goth rave, and
dinner out with your friends at swanky restaurants. I took one last unsatisfactory glance
in the mirror then headed out to catch the bus.
As it turned out, I needn't have rushed, having arrived in plenty of time, but still
breathless and flushed from the effort. I was surprised to see Rosalie and Emmet waiting
at the table but was glad to see them, nevertheless. I took a calming breath and strolled
over. Emmett and Jasper stood up as I approached the table.
“Hi.” I smiled at them and sat down by Alice, ordering a glass of white wine from the
waiter who was hovering around the table. I glanced around, wondering if Edward would
show up – at once needing to see him and wanting him to stay far away from me.
Rosalie smiled thinly at me as Emmett greeted me with a boisterous hello. I'd had little
contact with her since our open house – her schedule was almost as busy as Edward's
and she kept her distance when I did see her. We'd never really hit it off. She was never
rude, but we didn't seem to have much in common other than a fondness for Cullen men –
you'd think that'd be enough – and there wasn't much to talk about outside of the merest
polite conversation.
To tell the truth, I was more than a little intimidated by her amazing confidence and
beauty. What could I possibly have to say that would be interesting to her?
Alice was sitting across from her - with her hands resting primly under the table. It was
never short of amusing to see such two opposites together – Alice with her tiny frame
and short, spiky black hair and Rosalie, the blonde Amazon towering over her. They'd hit it
off right from the beginning.
I perused the menu, keeping one ear on the conversation and an eye out for Edward. It
was an odd place to go to on a Monday night. Too trendy for me and probably not
nearly enough food for the men, with strange selections that would probably be
off-putting to Alice.
“Did you see the drink menu, Bella?” Alice asked me, sliding it over. “Anchovies!” She
crinkled her nose.
“Whose idea was it to come here?” I asked pointedly, taking it from her. “Anyway, what's
the big deal? You eat anchovies every time you have a Caesar salad.”
“Yes, but not to drink!” She paused, something just occurring to her. “Wait, I do?”
I rolled my eyes at her. “Oh look, you've learned something new today!”
“Sarcasm just gives you cellulite, Bella,” Alice snapped at me.
“Bella doesn't have to worry about cellulite.” Edward's smooth, velvety voice came from
behind me.
I whirled around and looked up until I saw his face. He was towering over me. He looked
more serious than usual, his natural good humor gone for the moment, but there was a
hint of that crooked smile seemingly just ready to break out. He sat across from me at the
only spot left open.
“And how would you know that, Edward?” Emmett asked him, suspiciously.
Edward shrugged. “She's only, what, a hundred pounds or so-”
I snorted. Yeah, right!
“Obviously, there's not a bit of cellulite on her.”
“Can we please change the subject?” I asked testily, more than a little bit irked at the
turn the conversation went.
Alice sniffed. “Fine. You can have the fish drink and I'll have your wine.”
I smirked, “I'll try the fish drink but you can get your own wine. I'm getting a refill with dinner.”
Edward opened his menu and made a face. “What are we eating again?”
“Tapas for pretentious people.” I replied, perusing the eclectic selection.
“I like this place,” Rosalie said stiffly as Emmett tried - not so discreetly - to hide a laugh
behind his napkin.
Well, now I knew why were were eating here instead of the usual place. Rosalie had
obviously suggested it. I bit my lip trying to think of something to say. “And...” I glanced
at the menu. “The, uh, mushrooms look appetizing.”
No one said anything until the waiter came back, giving Edward a lingering look that took
in everything, from his messy bronze hair and gorgeous face to his blue button-down
shirt and snug-fitting slacks. I snickered into my wine. Not that I could blame the guy -
Edward was hot, damn him. Lucky me, I got to lust after him on a daily basis.
Damn him.
Since the menu was small and the servings tiny, we wound up ordering one of everything
on the menu, including the anchovy drink.
When the waiter left, I turned to Alice. “So, what's the real reason for this outing?”
Her eyes gleamed and she looked up at Jasper with a playful smile, then reached out with
her left hand to pick up her wine glass, revealing a large, sparkly ring on her finger.
Instantly, Rosalie and I turned into a couple of magpies.
“Alice!” I gasped, bouncing in my seat with excitement. “You fiend! When did this
happen? Why didn't you tell me?” I hissed at her.
Rosalie reached over the table and snatched Alice's hand to inspect the ring up close.
Alice was so short, she had to stand up and lean over the table to prevent her arm from
being ripped off.
“That's a beauty, Alice,” she said with a smile after eyeing it with a degree of
professionalism that was eerie and letting Alice sit down again. “Who picked it out?”
“I did, of course,” Jasper replied indignantly though he couldn't hide the grin that was
spreading across his face.
“It's true,” Alice added, giving him a kiss on the cheek. “He surprised me. I hadn't planned
on him proposing for at least another year.”
“And?” I continued. “When did it happen?”
“Saturday,” Jasper grinned. “I decided I couldn't wait any longer.” He took Alice's hand in
his and held it gently.
My smile fell a tiny bit and I glanced briefly at Edward, who was watching me intently and
playing with the edge of his napkin. I looked away, hurriedly, my stomach full of knots for
absolutely no reason. “That's fantastic.” I said, truthfully. “And about time, too! Do you
know when you're going to set the date?”
Alice's face lit up as she reached beneath her chair and pulled out a four-inch thick,
three-ring binder. I groaned at the sight of it.
“You're kidding me,” Rosalie said, flabbergasted at the sight of it.
I snorted. “You don't know Alice. She's probably had it all planned out for years.”
Alice smiled mischievously and handed the binder to me. “Actually, this one is yours.
Unless,” she said, holding the binder just out of reach. “You don't want to be my maid of honor.
I closed my eyes with a painful expression and took it from her. It had a custom cover
printed on it with the words Alice and Jasper 2009 scrolled on it in fancy lettering. “What
am I supposed to do with this monster?” I set it on the floor next to my purse.
“You're supposed to help me plan my wedding. That's the command post. Lose it and I'll
slaughter you,” she threatened. I wasn't sure how serious she was.
The waiter returned with the order from the bar and set the drinks out in front of us. “Is
there anything else you need?” he asked, hovering next to Edward.
I may have been imagining the double meaning behind his words. Or perhaps not –
Emmett was suddenly overcome by a coughing fit. I grinned at him as we watched Edward
shift uncomfortably in his seat.
“No, thank you. I've got it all,” he said, looking straight at me.
I looked away and hurriedly finished off my wine.
The waiter shrugged. “Okay. Your meal will be out shortly.”
Emmett had regained his composure and raised his glass. “A toast!” he cried in his
booming voice so the whole restaurant could hear him.
Edward, Rosalie and I raised our drinks.
“I'm not a man of many words so I'll just make this short.” Emmett cleared his throat, “And
I'm quoting here, 'Two lovely berries moulded on one stem, so with two seeming bodies,
but one heart.' To Alice and Jasper!”
“Alice and Jasper!” we echoed - as did everyone else in the restaurant – and we all drank.
I started coughing loudly. Rosalie reached over and – just a smidge too hard - started
pounding me on the back.
“Thanks,” I told her when I caught my breath. “I forgot it was fish,” I said, wiping my
eyes. “Oh my. Wow!” I looked around to see everyone watching me with dismay. “Am I
the only one who tried this?”
“You're the only one crazy enough, yes.” Jasper was laughing at me, still holding Alice's
hand in his.
“You're all just wimps.” I looked at my drink and sniffed it then took another sip, this time
tentatively. Everyone watched for my reaction. “It's fine. Weird – but not that bad. You
can definitely taste the vodka, which really isn't my favorite anyway.” I took another sip.
“And the anchovy, but it's much easier going down when you're expecting it instead of a
glass of wine.” I swallowed the rest of it then fished the olive out of the glass and ate it.
“I guess that was my appetizer.”
“I can't believe you just drank that,” Emmett said in awe.
I shrugged. I'd had worse. “I should have been born a food critic.”
Just then our dinner came and I busied myself heaping tiny bits of food onto my tiny plate.
I tried to concentrate on my dinner and not on Edward, but I kept looking up at him only
to see that was was looking at me. Apparently, he was having difficulty keeping his
attention fixed on his dinner as well, but his stare was disconcerting me enormously. Or
maybe he just didn't like what we were having - I couldn't tell – he was a bit of an enigma.
The waiter came around and I ordered another drink from the menu. This time I opted
for something with tequila.
“Okay, now what's this?” Jasper held out something rubbery with suckers on it.
“It's squid,” Rosalie said. “You've probably had it before.”
He took a bite and quickly swallowed. “Usually it's deep fried,” he said.
I rolled my eyes and speared the extra one off his plate and ate it. “For heaven's sake,
it's good, Jasper,” I said after I finished.
Alice shoveled something onto my plate. “Here, it's the sausage and chocolate thing. I
don't think I can handle it.”
I took a bite. “Um...” I chewed thoughtfully, trying to think of how to describe it. “It's... bad.”
Edward looked at me, concern written over his face. “Are you going to be okay?”
“Of course!” I started nibbling on the rest of Alice's untouched food. Food in the belly to
help counter any alcohol poisoning. Good plan.
“Don't worry about her, Edward,” Alice piped up. “Bella has a cast iron stomach. You
wouldn't believe the things she'll put in her mouth.”
If there were ever a time to be able to disappear at will, this would be it.
“Nice, Alice!” I sputtered.
“Like what?” Edward asked me, smiling more than he had been all evening. “What's the
weirdest thing you've ever eaten?”
I didn't even have to think before replying. “Casu marzu. Definitely.”
He frowned. “What is that?”
I grinned in anticipation. “Maggot cheese.”
The chorus of disgust made me smile even more.
“Where do you even get maggot cheese?” Emmett asked. “What, did you leave a
sandwich in your car for a week?”
“No, I had it when I spent the summer in Italy before my junior year in college. I did a few
food tours and I got to go to Sardinia, which is where you get casu marzu. Perfectly
logical.” I snagged another bite from Jasper's plate this time. They looked at me with
dismay, no doubt wondering how I could even think of eating. The looks on their faces
were one of the reasons why I loved telling this story. They were worth every bit of
cheese I ate that day.
“Logical and ingesting larva are two ideas that do not go together,” Rosalie spat out in disgust.
I shrugged. “It wasn't so bad. I'll try anything once.” I paused, “Well,” I qualified, “I'll try
some things at least once. And a I'll try few things lots,” I clarified. My drink arrived and I
drank from it gratefully.
“That's obvious.”
“What about you, world traveler.” I challenged Edward, whose beautiful and straight
nose was still crinkled at my eating habits. “What's the weirdest thing you've eaten?”
“Well, so far nothing squirming and alive...”
“No wonder you don't have a girlfriend,” Emmett blurted.
Edward reached over with one long arm and smacked him on the back of the head, while
everyone else broke up in laughter. Alice was draped over Jasper, trying to breathe.
Oddly enough, I didn't find it very funny at all. Out of pity for him – or was it my own
discomfort? - I quickly changed the subject to something else.
“You never said when the wedding will be,” I reminded Alice.
“Oh!” her eyes lit up with excitement. “We're waiting until after Jasper gets his master's
degree of course, which will be in December. I was planning for June.”
“A June bride?” I asked cynically. “I admire your originality.”
“Don't make fun! It's less than a year from now and I still have a lot to do,” she said defensively.
“Well, what do you need me to do?” I asked, never having been a part of a wedding before.
“Tons of stuff! But I've got it all written down for you. Just follow the list and everything
will be great.”
I reached under my seat and grabbed the binder. I opened it up and leafed through the
pages. Something caught my eye and I looked up at her, panicked. “A lingerie party? You
seriously expect people to buy you underwear?”
“It's for the whole party. We'll have fun! And get fabulous lacy things to wear. I can't
see how this is a bad thing.”
I blanched. “I'm not throwing you a passion party!”
You could practically fit a football into Emmett's wide smile. “Well, I'm definitely going.”
Jasper nearly spit out his drink in surprise. “You wear lingerie?”
Emmett looked at him like he was insane. “No. But Rose does,” he said with a wink.
Rosalie gave him a sultry smile. “I like the idea of the party.”
She would. I slouched down in my seat. There was no way I was doing this if I had to be
near living Barbie dolls at the same time.
Alice was indignant. “Don't be ridiculous, Emmett. Men aren't invited. Even Jasper isn't allowed
“Believe me, nothing in the world would ever induce me to stay for it,” he said in a hurry.
I eyed him thoughtfully. “Hunh. I'll bet she could think of a few things to make you stay if
she wanted to.”
Alice turned to me. “That reminds me. Did you ever replace those Snoopy pajamas of yours?”
Four pairs of eyes turned to watch me. Edward looked down at his plate. I noticed that he
didn't eat much.
“In point of fact, yes. I'm all set, thank you.” I toyed with how much information I wanted
to divulge.
“Tigger jammies, eh?” Emmett grinned at me.
“No.” I sipped my drink and licked a drop that clung to my lip. “Edward gave me one of his
shirts to wear.”
Four pairs of eyes swiveled to stare at Edward who shifted uncomfortably and finished his
drink in one gulp.
“Did he?” Alice seemed mighty interested in that bit of information. “And what do you
wear when that's in the wash?”
They turned to look at me again.
I must have had enough alcohol in me to loosen my tongue up a bit. “Nothing. I sleep in
the nude.” Okay, a lot.
Edward reached over, grabbed Emmett's beer and chugged it down, slamming the glass
on the table when it was empty.
Emmett watched the two of us try to drink each other under the table. “You know, I don't
think either of you are going to be fit to drive.”
“'M okay, Emmett.” I said cheerfully. I put my elbow on the table and rested my chin in
my cupped hand.
“Don't make me arrest you,” he threatened.
“You wouldn't. You need your handcuffs for Rose.” I. Blame. The. Tequila. It makes me
do stupid things. I took another sip anyway. Maybe I could forget this night had ever
happened. Better, maybe I could forget the past four months had ever happened.
But Rose just smiled at me. I think I finally won her over. Good, maybe she could give me
those sashaying lessons.
I felt someone kick me under the table. “Ow!” I said, looking at Alice in bewilderment.
“What the heck?”
She looked back at me but rolled her eyes meaningfully at Edward, hissing under her
breath so that only I could hear her, “I'm trying to help you.”
Oh no! I'd have to tell her something. But what? Abruptly, I got to my feet. “I'm going to
the bathroom.” I announced to the table in general.
Automatically, Alice and, to my surprise, Rosalie stood up with me. I heard Emmett
grumbling about women traveling in packs as we left the table.
Alice turned on me once we were safely inside the bathroom. “All right, Bella, what is it?
I'm trying to help you but you're not helping me... help... you,” she finished lamely.
I leaned against the wall and leaned my head back. How do I explain this without
embarrassing myself further? And in front of Rosalie to boot. This was just humiliating.
“Look, Alice. I was wrong a couple of weeks ago. He's not interested.”
Alice scoffed, “That's not possible.”
“Who's not interested?” Rosalie asked as she reapplied her lipstick. She rubbed her lips
together and puckered up at her own reflection. I'd never seen anyone do that in real life.
I stared at her in amazement before snapping out of it. “Please, Rosalie, this is
embarrassing enough, I'd hate anything said to go past these walls and into anyone's ears.”
She looked at me through the mirror. “I promise I won't tell anyone. But if you'd rather, I
can leave and let you two talk in private,” she offered kindly.
The toilet flushed and someone walked out of a stall.
“Well, in as much privacy as you'll get in a public toilet,” she amended.
The woman who came out of the stall washed her hands hurriedly and left the room. I
looked at Rosalie, wondering how much I could trust her. Then I figured, why not? She's
smart enough to have figured this out on her own anyway.
“No,” I said softly. “You can stay, it's fine. But this can't go farther than this room. I
wasn't going to say anything but Alice keeps helping me.”
“Not a problem.” she asserted.
“Get back to the point,” Alice said. “What makes you think Edward's not interested in you?
I thought you were trying to get his attention.”
“I was mistaken before,” I mumbled, still embarrassed about what I was about to confess.
“This is about you and Edward?” Rosalie raised her perfect eyebrows. She turned away
from the mirror and really looked at me. I felt like an amoeba under a microscope as she
looked me up and down, probably finding fault with everything about me.
I laughed, bitterly. “Stupid, I know. He wouldn't be interested in someone like me.” I
crossed my arms over my chest, trying to hold in the pain that was bubbling up to the
surface. I hoped I would be able to get through this without crying.
Rosalie wasn't satisfied, “And you know this how?”
“He told me.”
Alice deflated. “He said it?”
I nodded, unable to talk.
Alice put her hands up to her mouth in horror. “Oh, Bella, I'm so sorry,” she gasped. “And
here I was encouraging you this whole time!” Then she changed tactics. “He's an idiot!”
she hissed, her eyes blazing.
I rolled my eyes. “Please don't make a scene. And don't blame him or treat him bad or
anything because of this. It's not his fault if he doesn't feel the same way I do. Be nice.”
Rosalie was quiet, frowning slightly. I was annoyed that she could still be so beautiful
when her forehead was all crinkled like that. “This sounds really weird to me,” she said.
We looked at her curiously.
“What do you know?” Alice asked her.
“Nothing really,” she shrugged. “It's just that ever since he moved in with Bella, he's
changed a lot. He seems happier now. I mean, he started humming at his desk.
Humming!” she said as if that explained everything.
I'd never heard him hum before and I wasn't able to judge his behavior prior to our moving
in together so I dismissed this bit of information. “He could be happy for any number of
reasons,” I reasoned. “He could have gotten a raise or he has a girlfriend in one of the
places he travels to or something.”
Alice looked at Rosalie. “Does he have a girlfriend somewhere else?”
“I have no idea. Edward's a very private individual. He never discusses his home life at
work. If he's seeing anyone, Bella would have better knowledge of it than either of us.”
“And I don't know, so that's a dead end.” I wiped under my eyes with my fingers,
suddenly tired.
Alice frowned, deep in thought. “I just don't get it. I mean, just to look at him, looking at
you...” she petered out. “Even this evening he was staring at you like you were dinner.”
“I saw it too,” Rosalie added, to my surprise. “I just didn't think Bella felt that way for Edward.”
“If I could change this I would, you know that, right?” Alice asked me.
I smiled. “Yeah. But you can't make one person love another. It doesn't work that way.”
“No, it doesn't. Except that you just said something very crucial just now.”
“What was that?” I asked curiously, trying to think of something she would latch onto.
She looked into my face carefully. “You said 'love'. Do you love him?”
The world will go hurtling into the sun before I admitted it to anyone. I looked at my feet
and shook my head, avoiding her eye. “It's just a figure of speech, Alice. You know that.”
“You were always a lousy liar, Bella,” she said, hugging me. “Are you going to be okay?”
“I'm fine,” I assured her. “Let's get back out there before they send a search party after
us. This night is about you and Jasper. Let's ignore my little problem.”
For the rest of the evening I drank nothing but water, trying to stave off a massive
hangover in the morning. I also wound up finishing most of food off of everyone's plates
so I was in pretty good shape, all things considering. When the check arrived, Edward
snatched it first, paying for the entire dinner himself. There was a mass protest and dire
threats of repayment but he managed to get his own way in the end. So, he did buy me
dinner after all. Sneaky, gorgeous rocket scientist.
I lifted my face up and breathed in deeply as we walked outside. The night air was cool
against my overheated skin and I felt eager to get home and slip under the covers,
putting this evening far behind me. I pulled the strap of my purse onto my shoulder and
hefted the binder in my arms. The night was mild enough and the restaurant was close
enough that walking wouldn't be a hassle. The binder would get heavy, though. I
contemplated tossing it out, then thought better of it. Alice would bite my head off if I did
that. I considered riding with Edward but the thought of sitting in the car with him and
talking politely for ten minutes was excruciating. I made up my mind to walk.
I waved goodbye to everyone as they walked to their cars, and headed towards the
apartment, going up Second Avenue, which was a one-way street. I probably wouldn't
have dared to walk alone on a weekend when the freaks came out, but since it was
Monday, the sidewalks were sparsely populated. Still, I kept my pace at a brisk walk, not
wanting to linger too much. My mind was too full of Edward for me to enjoy looking at
the window displays and I was in no mood for people watching.
I'd already gone a block and just crossed Pine Street when I heard the sound of tires
screeching in back of me. Startled, I whirled around to see a silver Volvo turning around
the corner - much faster than necessary - to drive the wrong way down Second Street. It
pulled up beside me and the door swung open as the car came to a screeching stop.
“Get in!” Edward's furious voice called out to me.
I looked up at the other end of the block to see that the light had turned green and
there were a lot of cars heading toward us. Without thinking more about it, I jumped into
the car and slammed the door shut. In a move straight from The Matrix, Edward shifted
into reverse and spun the car around so it was facing the right direction before the first
cars reached us. Then he slammed the car back into gear and drove forward through the
intersection just as the light turned. I clung to my seat tightly as Edward drove around
another corner like a maniac, weaving through traffic without even seeming to think about
it. I hoped he wouldn't crash us and I fumbled to get my seatbelt on just in case.
Edward didn't say anything to me. I'd never seen him look so angry before. He was
gripping the steering wheel tight that his knuckles were white and his face was infuriated.
Finally, at the next red light, he spoke, his voice nearly hoarse with anger, “It's late at
night and you're walking home alone. Anything could have happened. I was going crazy
looking for you. What were you thinking? Are you drunk?”
I couldn't understand it. Why was he mad at me? I replied indignantly, “Of course I'm not
drunk!” I'm merely intoxicated by your very presence. “If anyone tried to hurt me I'd just
attack them with this monster binder Alice gave me.”
He turned to look at me, his beautiful eyes baleful. “Bella, do you hate me so much that
you can't let me give you a ride home? I didn't even know you were walking until Alice told me.”
I slumped in my seat, completely defeated. “I'm sorry. I didn't think it would be a big deal.”
I looked at him, forgetting everything for a moment as I realized that he had been
genuinely worried about me. “And, no.”
He frowned. “No? No, what?”
“No, I don't hate you,” I whispered.
His shoulders relaxed and he opened his mouth to say something but the whole line of
cars in back of us began to honk incessantly. The light had turned green. Edward put the
car in gear and drove off.
I stared down at my hands. “So. How was dinner?”
Edward huffed. “Almost non-existent.” He smiled softly. “And there was this girl there
who ate everything.”
I watched his face as he drove, admiring his lips and the way they turned up at the
corners. “Well, I hate to let something go to waste.” We were back at the apartment
now. “And anyway, you never know what might be good unless you try it.”
“Does that include everything?” he asked with a curious expression as he pulled into his
parking spot next to my truck.
“Everything except for cliff diving,” I asserted firmly. “In my opinion, that can never be good.”
“Hmm.” He looked at me, his eyes roaming my face, no doubt taking in my wrecked
appearance. “How are you feeling?”
“I'm great. Tired, I suppose.” I opened the door and made a big effort not to trip as I got
out. “I'll feel better after I brush my fangs and get rid of the anchovy breath.”
He followed me into the building, riding in silence in the elevator. His jaw muscles were
clenched tight, as if he was under some terrible pressure. It wasn't until we reached our
apartment, and he was waiting for me to walk through the door, when he spoke again,
hesitantly.
“Bella, do you think that maybe-”
Nope. “Edward, I'm really tired and just want to shower and go to bed.” I refused to let
the thought 'with you' enter my head.
Too late, it was already there. I blushed furiously, grateful that he wasn't a mind reader.
I trudged down the hallway to my room.
I should have let him speak, I thought as I scrubbed every trace of dinner from my
mouth. We couldn't keep not talking about it like this otherwise we'd wind up hating each
other before long. But I couldn't yet bring myself to the point where I could hear him
reject me without a major scene. I hated feeling so helpless.
I'd just climbed into bed with a book when there was a knock at the door. “Come in,” I called ou
Edward peeked in, his face full of apprehension as he looked at me. He looked yummy, as
usual – all freshly scrubbed and ready for bed - but there were worry lines wrinkling his
forehead and his eyes betrayed a nervousness I'd never seen in him before.
I closed the book, holding my place with a finger. “Hi.”
He stalled for a moment, staring at me with an inexplicable sadness before blurting out, “I
want to call a truce.”
“Okay. A truce?” I frowned at him. What does that mean? Just pretend nothing had
happened at all? Or avoid each other continually until the lease was up? “Yes, I can do that.”
I waited for him to say something, or leave, but he stood there looking at the empty
space on my bed wistfully.
“Can't sleep?” I asked.
He shuffled his feet and looked at me, his eyes lingering on mine, “It's better when I'm
with you.”
I didn't answer for a minute. I just looked at him, trying to decipher him. Then I smiled. I
tried not to smile too wide - I didn't want to let him know how much I wanted him still. But
I smiled just the same because he did come back.
I pulled back the covers and patted the bed next to me, hoping like hell that he couldn't
see the excitement in my face. He crawled into bed and pulled the sheets over him as he
lay down. I put my book away, turned off the light and wrapped myself around him. He
held me close and once again I fell asleep to the sound of his heartbeat.
This week I've learned that I should warn some of you - and you know who you are -
when I'm going to have house guests and writing will take a back seat. So, consider this
your Weekend House Guest Warning because it's happening again. Fortunately, she
gets the whole fanfic thing. Unfortunately, she doesn't care for the Twilight series so I
don't know how much will get done because I plan on playing.
“...a thousand kisses, mio dolce amor!
but give me none back for they set my blood on fire.”
Napoleon Bonaparte – Letter to Josephine
Chapter 6
I woke up extra early on Saturday, needing to get a head start on the morning. This was
it -- my first day as a paid caterer. And my first step away from Edward. It was still dark
outside when I opened my eyes and I had to talk myself into getting out of Edward's
warm embrace and into a cold, bracing shower.
For entire week, I went to sleep in Edward's arms and woke up to his face smiling down
at me. Never once had I been able to catch him sleeping. No matter what time I woke
up, he was always ahead of me. Every morning I told myself that it was the last time I'd
let him in. And every night I'd forget my promise – it was impossible to resist him when he
came to my door when I was already aching for him.
For me, trying to stop sleeping with Edward Cullen was like trying to quit heroin. It took
more willpower than I had, and I didn't think there was a twelve-step program for my
problem. Or, if there was, I sure didn't want to know about it.
This morning, however, I seemed to have managed the impossible. The deep, even sound
of his breathing told me that I'd finally woken up before him. I waited briefly for him to
greet me as usual but he was silent. I turned my head slightly to look at him but he was
hidden under the sheets. We were snuggled up on our sides, Edward's body curled
tightly against my back with his arm draped over my waist, his hand gently clutching me to
him, and his face buried in my hair. The feeling of protection and warmth made this my
second favorite position to sleep in -- my first being the one where I wrapped myself
around him as he held me.
Careful not to wake him, I turned around to look at him. I rarely got the chance to get a
good look at him without fear of getting caught staring, and I relished the opportunity to
study his face in the dim light from the street lamp that was splashing in through the
open window.
The fluttering under his eyelids told me that he was dreaming. Lightly, so as not to wake
him up, I traced the contours of his face, running the tips of my fingers over his nose
and cheekbones, grazing against the stubble on his cheek. There were dark circles under
his eyes and I wondered about that as he'd told me that he'd been sleeping better the
past week. I moved my hand and softly touched the curve of his full bottom lip, sinfully
inviting and kissable.
The corners of his mouth turned up in a small smile and I hastily took my hand away,
blushing furiously in the pale light.
“Bella,” he murmured, his voice low and deep, like the softest velvet. Then he opened his
eyes and looked at me. “Good morning.”
Chapter: 6
“Mmm.” Mindful of the fact that I just awoke, I turned my face away from him and picked
at the corner of my pillowcase.
“Are you okay?” he asked me.
I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye and smiled sheepishly at him. “Yes. I just
don't want to curl your hair with my dragon breath.”
He chuckled softly. “That's not possible.”
“Hmm.” I stopped fiddling with the pillowcase and dropped my head on my arms, hiding my
face. “I'm sorry I woke you up,” I mumbled.
“Don't be,” he said and I felt his hand stroke my hair. No doubt it looked like a haystack.
“And don't hide from me,” he insisted.
I turned to look at him but kept my head on my arms just I case I felt the need to retreat
again, very possible because the room was beginning to lighten with the breaking dawn –
it was much easier to be with him like this in the dark. “I need to get up,” I said with a sigh.
“That's right, it's your big day.”
My eyes opened wide in panic and my heartbeat sped up as he repeated the nearly the
same words I'd just been thinking. But it was just a coincidence, I reminded myself. He
wasn't reading my mind. I'd been preparing for this day for weeks, of course he'd mention it.
“Are you sure you're okay?” he asked, concern written all over his face.
“Yep,” I said, acting casual. “I'm just...” Comfortable? Cozy? ...Completely confused by
your behavior? “I really don't want to get up.” Not a lie in the slightest.
He smiled. “Me neither.”
“But you don't have to get up,” I pointed out.
He rolled his eyes at me. “There's no point in staying in bed if you're not here.”
My heart thumped against my chest and the blood rushed to my cheeks in response to
his words before confusion set in again. Unable to meet his eyes anymore, I focused on
the hollow at the base of his throat instead. That was the wrong place to look because I
immediately wanted to swirl my tongue in it. I bit my lip and concentrated on the pastry I
needed to bake instead of the neck I wanted to bite.
“What are you thinking?” he asked curiously.
Blushing, I shook my head and rolled away. “I have to turn the oven on before I do
anything else this morning,” I said as I got up and skittered away, banging my elbow
against the doorframe on my way out. “Ow,” I said quietly as I rubbed at it furiously.
I heard him chuckling at me from the hallway. Really, people who were
giftedly-coordinated had no idea what the rest of us klutzes suffered.
I turned the oven on, got the dough out of the refrigerator and set it on the counter
before running back towards my bathroom. Turning the oven on was actually the second
thing I needed to do that morning, but I forgot about the first completely while Edward
was staring at me. I passed him in the hallway - no doubt he was heading towards his
bathroom, still chuckling quietly to himself. “Oh, hush,” I hissed at him as reached my door.
An hour later, I had the dough filled, rolled up, and ready to cut when Edward came back
out with damp hair, and still steaming from a hot shower. “You look like you finally woke
up,” I teased.
“A shower will do that. I feel human again, at least.” He smiled crookedly at me eying the
operation I had going on. “Can I help you with anything?”
I glanced around thinking he'd be more in the way than anything else. “Um... no? Oh!
Yes! Can you bring me the floss that's in my bathroom? It's on the counter.”
He blinked at me. “Floss?” He gave me a strange look then went towards my room.
While he was gone I dug out my brioche pan and greased it, waiting for him. He was gone
for five minutes I went in search of him, wiping my hands on a towel as I went.
“Edward?” I called as I walked into the bathroom. “Are you having trouble finding it?” I
stopped short when I saw him, floss in one hand and my shampoo in the other. He was
studying the bottle intently. I didn't know if he was memorizing the ingredients or if he
forgot what he was supposed to be doing. “Um... hi?”
He looked up quickly when he heard me and smiled bashfully, putting the bottle back on
the shelf in my shower and closed the glass door. “Sorry.” He cleared his throat lightly. “I
was curious.”
I looked at him strangely. My shampoo was probably the cheapest available in the store.
There was nothing special about it, I just liked the scent. “I don't mind. I would have told
you if you'd asked me.”
He held out the floss to me. “If you're answering questions, tell me -- what perfume do
you wear?”
I frowned. He was making no sense. “I don't wear any. Why?”
He looked surprised, “None at all?”
“No...” I glanced down at his hand. “Can I have my floss now?”
“Oh! Yeah. Here.” He handed it to me, and as I took it, he leaned over and sniffed my
hair. “You smell good.”
“I've been knuckle deep in cinnamon and butter this morning,” I explained wiggling my
fingers at him. I was still reeling from the fact that he sniffed me and wished I'd already
showered.
He shook his head, “That's not it, though the cinnamon does smell nice.” He looked down
at my hand. “What's with the floss?”
I smiled brightly. “It's a trick. I'll show you.”
Back in the kitchen I pulled out a strand of floss and wiggled it under the dough. “Now,
watch and learn,” I told Edward as I crossed the ends over one another and pulled tight,
cutting the dough neatly. “Ta da!”
“Well, good. Now, if I ever make... what is this?” he asked, picking up the pan and
thoughtfully turning it around in his hands.
I tsked at him and continued to cut. “Brioche.”
“Brioche. Then I'll know how to do it.”
He watched me stuff everything into the pan and set it aside to rise again. I set the
timer then wiped my hands off. “It takes forever to make but it's worth every second,” I
explained.
“Now what?” he asked.
I looked around. “If you're serious about helping, can you wash those strawberries while I
start packing things up?”
“Sure.”
Ten o'clock rolled around and we had nearly everything stowed away and ready to go in
my truck. I quickly showered and changed into something professional and unobtrusive
then put my hair back in a braid – nothing was ickier than finding a hair in your food. I
had my trusty clipboard in my hand and was checking off the last of the items being put in
the granny cart I used for shopping – people make fun of them all the time but when you
walk to the market, they really come in handy. “Thanks for helping me, Edward,” I said as
I double-checked to make sure I had everything before I set off to the park.
“My pleasure. I'll take these things down for you,” he said as he grabbed the cart handle.
I followed him out the door and watched as he walked down the hall in front of me. The
man was utterly indecent. And thoroughly frustrating me.
We got to my truck, which I'd parked out front for the time being, and Edward finished
loading up for me. I started the engine and winced as the starter seemed to sputter
before catching. My battered old Chevy was on its last legs but I didn't have the money
to get another car any time soon. I'd have to ask around for a decent – and cheap - mechanic.
Edward leaned against the passenger door with his arms crossed over the window frame.
“You're all set. I hope everything works out today.”
I smiled at him. “Thanks.” I bit my lip, not wanting to say goodbye to his smiling face just
yet. Impulsively, I leaned over across the seat and opened the door. “Hop in.”
His crooked grin lit up his face. “Really? I admit, I've been curious to see this operation in
action.” He pulled himself into the cab then flinched as the door swung around with a loud,
rusty groan only to shut incompletely. He fumbled with the door handle trying to get it
open so he could close it properly.
“Forget it, the thing is tricky. You have to know just how to do it.” I reached over him and
jiggled the handle for him then sat back. “Now, give it a good slam.”
Edward slammed the door shut with a resounding clunk. “How long have you had this
truck?” he asked me, brushing off rust flecks from his hands.
I put the truck in gear and pulled out onto the street after checking for small, squishable
cars. “About five years. She's old but as strong as a tank.” I tuned the radio to an oldies
station, which was the only music station the AM band received. “I hope you like Sinatra.”
“Sinatra's timeless,” he said, and to my surprise he started singing along softly.
I usually bugged me to no end when people sang over songs, but his voice was so
velvety and smooth that I found myself smiling at the road, feeling content and happy
to be where I was. There was no direct highway to the park so the drive took us through
the city streets.
I drove extra carefully, mindful of the full load of gear I had stowed in the truck's bed.
Edward had his arm resting on open window and the breeze ruffled his hair until it was its
usual untidy mess. He was still singing quietly but I had a hard time hearing him with the
windows rolled down. He seemed to know the lyrics to all the songs being played on the
radio, which surprised me.
I suddenly realized I didn't know all that much about Edward despite my obsession and
pathetic love for him – surely I should have asked him at some point what type of music he
liked. It just never occurred to me. I pondered other pieces that were missing from the
great big puzzle that made up Edward.
“You're quiet,” Edward said, looking over at me curiously.
I blushed, for what felt like the millionth time that morning and nodded toward the
windshield at the view ahead of us. “The mountain's out. We should have a perfect day today.”
His forehead creased with worry lines. “That's not what you were thinking though, was it?”
I gripped my steering wheel tightly, panic threatening to overwhelm me at any moment.
“No,” I replied quietly. “I wasn't really thinking anything important. Don't worry your pretty
little head about it.”
Did I really just say that? Oh, man.
Edward laughed at me and rubbed the back of his neck, no doubt considering whether to
call me out on my big, fat lie or to just let the subject drop.
Thankfully, he decided on the latter.
At last, without any more embarrassment, we made it to the park and I followed Alice's
directions to the field she'd rented. My mouth dropped when I saw the set up. I had
never been to any of Alice's professional parties so I didn't have anything to compare this
to, but at first sight the effect was astounding -- like something from out of a movie, one
of those period dramas on PBS.
The field was carpeted with flowers and fronted a small, placid lake that had swans
swimming picturesquely. I wondered if the swans lived there or if Alice had them brought
in as well. People bustled around setting up a large, white canopy, near the pond. A
smaller tent already stood out of the way, nearer the grove of trees. It was probably
needed to provide space for the workers, though I didn't know how many people would
actually be here.
I nervously fingered the edge of my shirt sleeve, wondering if I had dressed
appropriately, then dismissed it. My job was to cook and serve lunch, and not be noticed
– no problem there.
“Somebody has more money than common sense,” I said as I looked over at Edward,
who seemed just as surprised at the set up as I was.
“You never told me who this person was,” he reminded me.
“I signed a confidentiality agreement,” I explained. Then I slapped my hand against my
forehead remembering I brought Edward, who had no business being there. I turned to
him. “You've officially been hired as my employee, so if he asks, which I doubt since you'll
be hiding in that small tent over there, that's the story.”
Edward grinned. “What's the pay?” He tried once more to open his door but failed completely.
I snorted and leaned over to open his door for him, brushing up against him with my
shoulder. I let go of the handle quickly and sat up, trying to think of anything but how
good he smelled. “The pay is you don't have to walk home.”
“Hmm...” He considered that for a second. “I should be able to negotiate a better rate
than that.”
“What more could you want?” I asked him.
He raised his eyebrow and opened his mouth to speak but was interrupted by Alice.
“Bella! Thank goodness you're here! We're almost all set up, but I want you to-- Hel-lo,
Edward.” She stopped short when she saw his tall lanky form unfold itself out of the
truck. She looked at him, then looked very pointedly at me with her eyes narrowed to
slits. “You're an unexpected pleasure,” she told him, eying me carefully, her head cocked
to the side and her eyes full of suspicion.
“I thought I might need some muscle help today,” I explained hastily. “I really don't feel up
to lugging all this stuff around.”
Alice was unconvinced but since Edward was here already, there wasn't much she could
do about it. “Mm hmm. Well, good,” she said brightly, perking up almost immediately. She
brandished a clipboard from out of nowhere and whipped out a paper from the bottom of
the stack handing it to him. “You'll need to sign this if you want to be let out of the truck.”
Edward took it from her with an adorable look of disbelief on his face. “What am I
signing?” he asked as he glanced over the form.
“Standard non-disclosure agreement. Our client is well known and doesn't want today's
events leaked by anyone present. If all goes well, I think his agent will issue a statement
to the press.” She bounced up and down on her toes. “I hope it goes well for him. He's
very nice. Plus, you know, I think I've bagged more events after this.”
“Who are we talking about again?” Edward asked.
“No, you have to sign first,” Alice insisted, holding out a pen.
Edward rolled his eyes at her and took the pen, scrawling his name at the bottom of the
form. He handed the pen and the clipboard back but she shook her head.
She pointed to a couple of blank spots on the paper. “And initial here and here.”
“This is ridiculous,” Edward muttered as he finished up and gave everything over to her.
“I know it,” she said sympathetically as she took the clipboard away from him. “But he's my
first major client and it's a huge opportunity for me so don't blow it,” she threatened
under her breath, smiling brightly the entire time.
Alice could be very scary if she wanted to be.
She turned back to me, still eying me critically. “We'll be operating out of the small tent
over there,” she said, pointing as if I was blind and couldn't see for myself. “The main
event will be under the canopy, of course, but I haven't a clue what's going to happen
once they get here except that brunch is served at eleven-thirty, which doesn't give you
much time, Bella, so go!”
Catching her agitation, I grabbed my granny cart and took off, pell-mell, toward the tent.
“But don't break anything!” Alice called out after me. “We don't have time to take you to
the hospital!”
Stupid, annoying know-it-all.
I managed to make it to the tent without major damage – I'd only tripped twice but I didn't
fall so I counted that as a victory – and surveyed the surroundings.
I was still panting for breath as Edward's silky voice washed over me, “You never told me
who this person is.”
“Gah!” I whirled around in shock, gasping for air. “Stop sneaking up on me! I'm going to
go prematurely gray if you keep doing that.” I took a deep breath and calmed myself.
“How did you get here so fast?”
He smirked at me. “You run like a girl.”
I scowled at him, ticked off and ready to bite. “In case you haven't noticed, Mr. I Ran
Track, I am a girl.”
His eyes darkened perceptively. “But I have noticed.”
I stared at him, completely taken by surprise. “I...”
“Bella!” Alice's shrill voice broke my reverie, shouting like a drill instructor. “Move! Move!
Move!” Obviously, Jasper was a bad influence on her. I made a mental note to ask him to
stop telling her about boot camp.
“I'm on it, Alice. Jeez, you're a despot this morning. You know that, right?” I started
unpacking my materials and set up on the table Alice provided. Everything had already
been washed, dried, chopped, peeled or shredded beforehand, so I just needed to
assemble it all on platters and set the table. With Edward's help, we were unloaded and
ready to set up within twenty minutes.
As I was laying down the first table cloth, Edward strolled up with his hands in his pockets
to watch. Nearby, the musicians were unpacking their instruments and making sure they
were in tune. Alice was hovering over them, handing out the privacy forms for them to
sign. I shook my head in disbelief.
“So, who is this person you're doing all this for?”
I glanced up at him then shrugged as I smoothed out some wrinkles on the linen. “Some
baseball guy. Alice said he's going to propose to his girlfriend or something.”
He seemed more interested. “Baseball? Do I know him?”
I looked up. “Um... Phil Dwyer?”
Edward's face lit up. “Phil Dwyer? From the Mariners? This is all for him?”
“Well, technically, I think this is all for her, but yeah, that's the guy.”
“And you didn't tell me?”
I stared at him. “Well, I did sign that silly form. I do know how to keep a secret, Edward,”
I teased, but as I watched, his face changed by degrees from surprised to conflicted. I
became more and more puzzled by him. “What is it?” I asked him, concerned.
He ran a hand through his hair, mussing it up beautifully. He was gazing out at the lake
and biting his lip in concentration. “It's nothing important at the moment.” He looked back
at me and smiled, dazzling me. “I'll tell you later.”
I stared at him, willing him to elaborate further but unwilling to push him away with my
questions. At least he promised to let me know. “Okay,” I agreed. “Later, then.” I made
a mental note to remind him about this in the truck, or perhaps when we got home would
be better. Trying not to look at him too much, I moved around and put on the second linen
cloth over the first, then started laying a place setting. He seemed uncomfortable so I
tried to think of a new subject. “If you ask me, this is all way too much.”
That brought him around again. “Why do you say that? Obviously he loves her or he
wouldn't go through all this trouble.” He took the other dishes and copied how I was
laying them out on the other side of the table.
I stood up and looked around. “Really? Well, I don't know about how much he loves her.
The fork goes on the left, Edward,” I reminded him. “I assume he loves her very much if
he wants to marry her. But it looks like he's trying to impress her more than anything
else. Other than hiring Alice and giving instructions, he hasn't really gone through much
trouble at all. It's something he's having done for him. Alice pulled the whole thing
together and those people over there...” I pointed to the lake where some people were
taking a smoke break, “...they put up the tent. I made the food. The musicians are going
to sit in this sweltering heat wearing tuxes... Even you did more than Phil when you
helped me at home and you're not even a part of this. I don't see much effort on his part,
that's all.”
Edward rubbed the back of his neck, his face set in concentration. “So you don't think he
deserves happiness?”
“What?” I frowned at him, perplexed. “No, I don't mean that. He seemed nice enough
when I met him. I'm not really sure what I mean. This whole thing just way overboard, I
guess. It's overkill, you know?”
“You wouldn't want anyone to surprise you like this?”
“I would hope I'm not this high maintenance!” I laughed thinly. “But no, I don't like
surprises much.” Nervously, I picked up a water goblet and gave it a final dusting before
setting it back in its place. The conversation was taking a personal turn that made me
very uncomfortable – never mind that I was the one who started it. I sighed in frustration.
“Do you mean any surprise at all or elaborate affairs such as this?” he prodded.
“Small surprises can be good, I guess.” My forehead was wrinkled in thought. “It
depends on what they are. But this? This is too planned out. And for someone who is
desiring privacy, there are an awful lot of people around.” I surveyed the table and the
rest of the tent. The sides, tied to the poles, were all billowy and romantic; the table was
beautiful; the hors d'oeuvres were piled artistically and looked scrumptious; the table was
set just so... Everything was exactly how I planned. I looked up at Edward who still
looked at me quizzically. Well, except for that.
“What you're saying is, this isn't your cup of tea.”
“Right. I'd prefer something...” I bit my lip trying to come up with the right word, “more
heartfelt.”
Edward smiled warmly at me, seeming pleased with something, but whatever it was, he
wasn't sharing. I debated asking him about it now or if I should save it for later, when a
piercing noise ripped through the air.
We turned and saw Alice over by the small tent, a hot pink coach's whistle in her mouth,
blowing it repeatedly, waving her arms like an air traffic controller for everyone to join her
at the small tent.
“You have got to be kidding me,” I said. “She's flipped out.”
We reached her as she was giving out instructions to the crew. “Tent people, you can go
ahead and leave but be back no later than four. Bella? Where are you?” She looked around
until she saw me. “Oh, there you are. You and Edward...” She pursed her lips sourly as
she said his name.
Edward shuffled his feet nervously at her obvious displeasure.
“...need to stay here. But unless you're serving, stay out of sight. I'll be here in the
command post in case anything goes wrong...
I turned to Edward and mouthed 'command post?' at him and he bit his lip to keep from laughin
“...but I expect everything to go smoothly, of course. The quartet gets a fifteen minute
break every hour starting from when our clients arrive, which should be in...” She
checked her watch. “exactly ten and a half minutes. Obviously, if they go for a walk or
something, you don't have to keep playing.” She turned back to me. “Are you all done in there?
“I just have to fill the water goblets but yes, I'm done until they eat.” I smirked at her. “I
like your whistle, General.”
She rolled her eyes at me. “Don't laugh at it. It's very useful when you need to get
people's attention in open spaces.” Then she grinned. “You can keep calling me General,
though. I like outranking Jasper.”
“I'll bet,” I said with a smile, glad her tyrannical behavior wasn't staying for the duration
of the day.
She sighed and looked at Edward and back at me. “Never mind pouring the drinks. I'll do
that when I go up to take pictures.”
“What on earth for?” I said rather stupidly because I knew the answer as soon as I asked.
Alice stared at me. “My website. Earth to Bella, it's the twenty-first century. You'll need
pictures too if you want to continue doing this. No one hires anyone unless they have a
comprehensive website. Jasper can help you set one up if you want.”
I shoved my hands in my pockets and looked down at some wild flowers that were dancing
in the breeze. I hadn't even thought of that little detail. Huh.
Edward loomed up in back of me. “Are you going to do this again?” he asked.
I shrugged. “I've been thinking about it.” Not a lie. “Of course, if I bludgeon Alice with that
whistle then the answer's no.” I looked up at him and gave him a small smile. “We'll see.”
“You should. I think it's something you'd be fantastic at.”
“You think so?” I asked, perking up a bit. One small complement and I'm going mushy. I'm
beyond pathetic.
“Absolutely. You're an amazing cook. I know I've been spoiled since we moved in
together.” He looked down at my hand and hooked my pinky with his, curling it around
and holding on tight. He glanced up at me hesitantly, questioning me with his eyes. “Is
this okay?” he asked. He actually sounded nervous.
I nodded, swallowing hard; my throat had gone completely dry. I tried to hide my smile but
I lost that battle the moment he wrapped the rest of hand around mine, squeezing it
tightly within his. I couldn't look at him anymore, for fear that he might see the hope in my
face. Instead, I kept my eyes lowered to my hand intertwined with his. My heart raced
and my thoughts swirled madly. I didn't want to be that girl – the kind that had to pick
apart every minute detail and analyze it to death - but I was dying to figure out why he
was doing this to me. Had he any clue at all? Still... “Yeah,” I said breathlessly. “It's a nice
surprise.”
The sound of an expensive car on the road stopped everything and Alice came hurrying
back to the tent, smiling widely. I quickly dropped Edward's hand as soon as I heard her
footsteps.
“Everything looks fantastic, Bella. I can't thank you enough!” She gave me a bear hug
then sat down on the camp chair, getting comfortable with her wedding binder in her lap
and a yellow highlighter. “Now all we have to do is wait. I just know everything's going to
turn out perfectly today,” she said with a smug expression. “She's going to say yes.”
“Hmm.” I struggled to smile but as she wasn't paying any attention to me, I gave it up.
“Can I do anything?” Edward asked.
“No, it's mostly done, I just have to grill the steaks and that won't take very long.”
After I cooked and served lunch - Phil and his girlfriend being too wrapped up in each
other to even notice I was there - I snuck around to the stand of trees on the other side
of the pond and sat down on the mossy bank. I'd hoped Edward would find me. I was
hoping to be able to continue our conversation from the tent. Or, if that was still off limits,
I could always find something else to talk to him about. After a few minutes I was
rewarded as he came strolling up carrying a long stick which he was using to smack away
tree branches as he walked toward me. I smiled shyly as he folded himself up and sat
down next to me close enough so our arms would brush up against each other softly. In
the distance I could hear the strains of Clair de Lune as the musicians played. I vaguely
thought about Phil and wished him luck.
“Hi,” I said.
“Hey. All done then?”
“For now. Lunch is done so I don't have anything else to do until they leave.” I peeked
around Edward and squinted at what was going on. I couldn't really tell, but I thought
they were still eating. “The rest is up to them.” I bit my lip in thought. “Is it later yet?” I
asked him timidly.
He looked at me then quickly looked away again. “Not quite yet,” he said quietly, but a
smile hovered on his lips so I knew I hadn't offended him. He started to splash the water
with the stick in his hand.
I chuckled quietly to myself. Sometimes Edward could be such a boy. “I'm sorry I dragged
you all the way out here. I didn't think about it at the time. You probably had your own
things to do today.”
“Don't be. I'd rather be here with you than stuck at the apartment working.”
My heart swelled and I continued to watch his profile as he poked at the shoreline. That
reminded me of something. “At least I could have let you bring your fishing gear.”
He turned to me, startled. “What?”
“Do you still fish?” I asked him – an innocent enough question I'd thought - but, incredibly,
he started to turn red. I didn't think I'd ever seen him blush before and I stared at him in
fascination. “What is it?”
He tossed the stick into the water and looked at his empty hands before looking back at
me bashfully, embarrassment written all over his features. He looked like he was about to
say something, but before he could, he glanced over my shoulder and stiffened.
I looked behind me and saw three people – two men and a woman - standing nearby,
watching us. I didn't think anything of it - we were in a public place, after all - but when I
turned back to Edward, his nostrils were flared and a look of disgust, such a foreign thing
to see on his beautiful face.
“What's the matter?” I asked him, bewildered.
He quickly composed himself but his smile was strained. “It's nothing. I know one of them
from work. I just wasn't expecting to see him today, that's all.”
I tried not to register my shock but I knew my expression gave me away. For some
reason, Edward was deliberately lying to me. I looked again and saw that they were
coming toward us. I heard Edward sigh in resignation before he pulled himself up to his
feet. I quickly followed him, brushing off the seat of my pants as I stood up.
The trio reached us and a rather stout man with dirty blond hair stepped forward with a
knowing smirk on his face. “Edward. Such a pleasant surprise to see you here.” His voice
was oily smooth and he was staring at Edward with an intensity that left an uncomfortable
feeling in my stomach.
Edward nodded at him and glanced at the people with him. “James,” he said curtly. “I'm
just as astounded as you are.” He glanced at me out of the corner of his eye before
turning his attention back to James.
His eyes lit up as he turned toward his companions. “Really? Well, now that my friends are
in town visiting me, perhaps we'll bump into each other more often from now on. Edward,
I'd like you to meet my good friend, Victoria.” He gestured with an open hand to the
woman next to him as if he was presenting a prize.
Victoria was extraordinarily beautiful, with flaming red hair cascading down her back in
Botticelli curls. She looked like she could give Rosalie a run for her money as Playmate of
the Year and I felt even more plain than usual standing next to her. She had a cruel
smile, though, that seemed to mock Edward and me.
I hated her on sight.
“And this is Laurent,” James continued. “You... may have heard me mention him at work a
few times.”
Laurent was a handsome black man of medium height with short dreadlocks spiraling in all
directions. Unlike the other two, he actually seemed genuinely pleased to see us. He
stepped forward with his hand held out to Edward, who hesitated slightly before shaking
it. “Edward, I have heard so much about you.” I was surprised to hear a slight French accent.
James' attention turned to me then. “And who is this?”
Edward's arm snaked around my waist and held me tight against him. “She's a... a friend
of mine.” Being held so close to him I could hear the rumble of his words coming out like a gro
I looked at him in amazement. A friend? Not even a name, just 'she's a friend'? As I looked
up at him, trying not to be totally insulted. There had to be an explanation. Something
was so obviously wrong because I'd never seen him act so suspiciously before. He was
very tense, the set of his mouth pressed in a hard line and the vein on the side of his neck
visibly throbbing. I watched it, spellbound, waiting for it to burst.
James turned to me with a smile. “And your name would be?”
I looked up at Edward before answering. He closed his eyes briefly with a pained
expression on his face before glancing down at me, squeezing me reassuringly. “I'm Bella,”
I said, turning back to James but keeping a close eye on Edward, whose narrowed eyes
and flaring nostrils made him look lethal.
James' face lit up again. “So you're Bella! At last! I'd hoped we'd have an opportunity to
meet you. I'm glad to finally be able to put a face to the name.” He looked back at
Edward, who was openly glaring at him now. “I have a feeling we'll all be very good
friends now.”
I frowned. Why would James know about me? Had Edward said something to him? Had
Rosalie? Should I be flattered? But nothing in James' manner suggested I should be. In
fact, everything about him exuded a menace I'd never felt before. I inched closer to
Edward as imperceptibly as I could but James caught the movement and he smiled even wider
“Well,” he said, eying me up and down. “I'll let you two get back to your afternoon.
Edward,” James turned to him and stared him down. “I expect I'll hear from you very
soon, yes?”
Edward's nostrils flared again and he nodded curtly.
“Good. If not, well, I can easily pop around to your place and we can chat there.” He
clapped his hands together and rubbed them exuberantly. “I'm sure you wouldn't mind if
I brought my friends with me. Goodbye, Bella.”
I was startled into responding, “Um... Bye.”
Edward watched as they walked away, holding me in his iron grip and waiting until they
were completely out of sight. I watched his face, a million questions running through my
mind but he looked like he was about to blow at any minute and I didn't want to be the one
to trigger him off. After a few minutes, he began to visibly relax and I felt it was okay to
start the interrogation.
I swallowed nervously. “So... What was that?”
He ran his hand through his hair and down the back of his neck with frustration. “An
unforeseen complication,” he said, looking away.
I waited for him to continue but he just released me, taking my hand instead and walking
briskly toward Alice's tent. “Do you think we have much longer here?” he asked out of nowhere
I glanced at my watch but as I was trying to keep up with his long strides, I stumbled and
nearly fell. Edward slowed down with an apologetic look but kept walking.
“I think we have the spot for another hour. Why? And what's so complicated that you can't
talk to me? Are you in trouble?”
Edward stopped abruptly and turned to me, his eyes serious and blazing. “Bella. Do you
trust me?”
I blinked. That was the last thing I expected. “Yes, of course I trust you.”
He nodded and looked down at our hands. He held them up and kissed my knuckles. “I'm
going to be very horrible and ask you to please, please keep trusting me no matter what.”
“Can't you tell me what's going on?”
He took a deep breath and shook his head. “I want to, Bella. But I can't.”
I frowned at him. “Do you trust me?”
“I do,” he whispered, stroking the side of my face with the back of his fingers sending a
trail of fire in their wake. “More than anything. But I can't tell you. Not now, at least.
Hopefully soon.”
“Is all this what you were going to tell me earlier?”
He shook his head, a smile back on his face. “Not exactly. That was something else –
something better. Look, I didn't expect James to come at me like this. Not here, not with
you around. I don't even know how he knew where I was, which is disturbing. And now
I'm not sure if I'm doing the right thing by you.” He shook his head, the smile suddenly gone.
I looked at him suspiciously. “You realize I have no clue what you're talking about.”
He looked at me seriously. “Good.” He hesitated for a second then continued, “Bella,
promise me that if you see any of those people again - James especially - then do
whatever you can to keep away from them. Never let yourself be alone with any of them
for a moment. I need you to stay safe.”
My eyes locked onto his, searching for an answer in them that he was unwilling to give me
verbally but the only thing I saw in them was overwhelming worry. I nodded mutely. To
tell the truth, James had creeped me out more than a little. I didn't think keeping this
promise would be very difficult. I just wished there weren't any more boundaries
between Edward and me, and now we had yet another one. The day seemed to have
flipped inside out on me and I didn't know what to think.
“Promise?” He insisted on words, then.
I took a deep breath. “I promise. I'll stay away from them.”
His relief was visible and he smiled. “Thank you,” he said before kissing me on the forehead.
I blinked up at him in shock. The earlier fear that the encounter with James had brought
on was entirely forgotten with that one tiny gesture. “Do you do that on purpose?” I asked.
He looked at me in confusion. “Do what?”
“That,” I said, gesturing at my forehead with my hand. “You're just... on and off all the
time. I can't keep up with you.”
He bit his lip in consternation. “Just give me some time, Bella. That's all I'm asking.”
I blinked again. “H-how much time?”
He lowered his head and shut his eyes tightly. “I don't know the answer to that. I
suppose you can't wait forever.”
I sucked in a deep breath and hurried over to the crew tent so I could start packing up.
The problem was, I probably would wait forever if he asked me to and I wasn't sure if I
wanted to make that promise to him.
Oh, who was I kidding?
Edward followed close on my heels. “Wait. I'm not letting you out of my sight until we
reach the apartment.”
I shot him an annoyed glance. “Why? Is someone going to jump out of the bushes and eat me?
He actually considered it before answering. “Of course not. But I'd rather not risk it.”
“You're unbelievable.” I walked faster, eager to get going. The tent was closer and I
could see Alice inside, talking with the people who came to break it down. There was no
sign of Phil or his girlfriend or his car so I assumed we were done for the day.
When Alice saw us she came barreling out with a wide smile. “She said yes!” she shouted,
crashing into me with another bear hug and bouncing me around in a circle. “I knew she
would! And Phil said I could do the engagement party! Isn't that fabulous?”
I put on my widest fake smile. “That's great! I'm so happy for you. And Phil, of course.”
Alice stopped trying to pick me up and stood back to look at me. I shuddered to think of
what I looked like. A hot, sweaty mess no doubt. “What's the matter?” she asked.
“Where'd you run off to?”
“Nothing's the matter,” I lied, looking away. “We just went for a walk. I'll get things
packed up so we can go. I'm exhausted.”
Alice jabbed her finger into my chest. “You're a lousy liar, Bella.”
“I'm not,” I said indignantly. “I happen to be very tired. I've been up since five in the
morning. Ask Edward.”
She looked at Edward and narrowed her eyes. “Hmm.”
“Oh, please.” I turned away from both of them and started putting things away.
It took a lot less time to get the truck packed and ready to go than it had for our trip out,
but I was so preoccupied that I'd find myself staring into space, thinking about Edward
and the mystery he presented. And then there was James and his friends. They were
even more puzzling. My brain had gone from scenario to scenario without fixing on one
that made even the slightest bit of sense, when Alice handed me the check from Phil. I
stuffed it into my pocket without even bothering to check if the amount was correct.
I had let Edward drive when he'd asked. I didn't want to argue with him - I didn't even
want to talk - I just tossed him the keys and climbed into the truck's cab through the
driver's side. I watched him from my seat, trying to reconcile the Edward I knew with the
dangerous Edward I saw this afternoon. My head was too full of questions that,
apparently, I wasn't allowed to ask. I tried to formulate reasonable answers to
everything but nothing came up. He drove silently, never taking his eyes off the road
unless he was glancing in my direction. His shoulders were stiff with tension, but he held
my hand gently within his.
It was late afternoon when we got back to the apartment and Edward offered to unload
for me. I thought that was ridiculous. It would take half the time if we both did it, and in
this matter, I didn't give in to him at all.
At last, everything was inside and mostly put away and I declared a break.
Once I did he smiled at me. “I was wondering... I'm heading over to my parents tomorrow
for dinner. Would you like to come?”
“What's going on?” I asked, startled by his question. Why could he never stay on the
same page as me?
He shrugged. “Sunday dinner. And my mom's been asking about you. She'd like it if you'd
come. I'd like it, too.”
I sighed wearily. “Yeah, sure, I'll come.”
“But that's not what I wanted to talk to you about.” He caught my hand. “Come on,” he
said and he led me to the piano. “Have a seat.”
I hesitated, remembering the last time we were at the piano together, then sat
tentatively on the end of the bench watching him.
He sat next to me and placed his fingers on the keys. He looked at me apprehensively,
then started to play.
I gasped in shock as the melody rang out, his fingers flying over the keys effortlessly. I
didn't recognize the song at all but I sat mesmerized as I listened to Edward play. It was
beautiful and complicated and overwhelming all at once. I stared at him in awe.
“Do you like it?”
“You mean you wrote this?” I asked in disbelief. I could feel my eyes stinging with unshed
tears. “It's beautiful.”
He nodded humbly. “You inspired it.”
My mouth hung open. “You wrote a song for me?”
“You're very hard to shop for.”
“But a song? That's... it goes beyond presents.”
“You don't think it's overkill?” he asked, repeating my statement from earlier.
I huffed in irritation. “Yes! But, I love it. It's beautiful, Edward.”
“Of course it is. It's you.”
I stared at him, tears threatening to spill over.
“What's the matter?” he asked, his forehead crinkled with worry.
“I could never, ever give you anything like this in return.”
“I'm not asking for anything. Except, maybe for some time.” His eyes pleaded with me to
accept that and I nodded before I could stop myself.
“Anything,” I whispered. Forever, if I had to. I pressed my fingers to my temples and
closed my eyes in concentration. I gathered up all my courage, my heart pounding loudly
with nervousness, and looked at him. “Edward, you are just too perfect. How come you're
still single?”
Edward smiled crookedly and stopped playing. He looked into my eyes so there could be
no mistake at all. “I'm already taken.” He leaned down, his eyes never leaving mine, and
kissed me softly sending my world reeling.
My breath came in gasps as he pulled back with a smile playing on his lips. He laughed
quietly. “Do you know how long I've waited to do that?”
My brain was all fuzzy and I barely registered his question. How could one chaste little
kiss make my head whirl like that? “Oh... about ten years...” I murmured as I tried to
remember where I was.
He seemed surprised. “Just about. How did you know?”
I focused on his face. “Know what?”
“How long I'd had a crush on you.”
I frowned trying to make sense of his words. “On me? I was talking about you. I mean,
my crush on you. Since forever, it seems.”
“And you never said anything?”
“Of course not!”
“Why not?”
I laughed. Was he serious? “Wasn't it a little obvious?”
“No. Please enlighten me.”
“Well, look at you! You're Edward Cullen. Everyone had a crush on you at some point,
even a few of the guys. Even Alice was a bit dazzled by you for a millisecond. And I
swear Mr. Banner wanted to have your babies...”
“I don't want to know about any of them, thank you. I'm only interested in you.”
I grimaced, horrified that he wanted me to explain this to him. “I had no chance, so of
course I wasn't going to... humiliate myself in front of you... other than being terminally
clumsy.” I wanted to look away form him but he held gaze firmly with his.
A slow smile spread across is face. “You really have no clue, do you.”
I frowned at him. “What?” I asked, my voice flat with brimming anger.
“About how adorable you are.” And leaned over and gently laid kisses all over my face. I
thought I was dreaming, there was no way Edward Cullen was doing this to me. And the
things these simple kisses were doing to my body... I burned wherever his lips touched my
skin. I kept moving my head trying to catch his lips with mine - to kiss him properly - but he
kept just out of my reach. God, how frustrating. I groaned. I swore that if anyone
interrupted us this time I'd bite their head off.
I pulled back, panting, trying to catch my breath. “Wait! What about you? Why didn't
you say anything?”
“Isn't it obvious?” he teased.
“Edward, after today, nothing is obvious to me.”
He sighed deeply and stood up, shoving his hands in his pockets as he walked around to
lean against the wall. I nearly whimpered at the loss of contact with him and bit my lip to
keep from pouncing. “Um... Earlier today, before we were so rudely interrupted, you asked
if I still fished...”
I looked at him in confusion as I nodded. Where was he going with this?
He started blushing again. Twice in one day! This had to be a record. “I never fished,” he
blurted out as if he was confessing a deadly sin.
“Huh?” What was he talking about? I distinctly remembered him coming into Newtons,
where I worked during our senior year, to shop for fishing tackle. He'd talk forever on the
subject if you let him, which I did... shamelessly... a lot.
“I don't fish. I never have. I think it's the world's most boring sport imaginable. Even more
than curling.”
“But, at Newton's, when you came in...”
“I wanted to see you. So I'd think of reasons to go down and shop when you were on
shift. Camping supplies, bug spray, fishing tackle... Fishing lures were the cheapest so I
just started buying those. If they had a need for another employee I would have applied
for the job.”
I stared, open-mouthed at him. He was speaking clearly but, for some reason, the words
weren't registering in my brain. I thought back to all the times he came into the store. He
was in at least once a week. “Are you serious?”
“I can't believe you never knew. I felt so transparent around you. I thought you were
just being polite, but I kept going back anyway.”
I squeezed my eyes shut, not daring to think of the time wasted or else I'd burst into
tears. When Edward decided to tell a secret he went all out. When I had myself under
control again I looked up once more. “So...”
“I've liked you for a long time,” he finished for me, his eyes burning into mine. “I
developed a huge crush on you in eleventh grade. You remember biology class, right?
I nodded, completely speechless. Of course I remembered our classes together. I
remembered the way his hands moved as he delicately operated the microscope and the
way my heart pounded whenever he brushed against me. For goodness' sake, I even
showed up every, single day the week we had to dissect a frog just because he was
going to be there.
“I spent most of my time in class looking at you.” He stroked the apple of my cheek with
the side of his hand, brushing my hair back from my face. “This part, right here, is
especially tantalizing. Usually it was the only part of your face I could see because you
kept your head down a lot. I'm surprised I didn't fail.”
I stood up and faced him squarely. “Why didn't you say something to me?” I whispered
hoarsely, near tears once more.
“I was going to. When Alice threw your birthday party, I gathered up my courage and I
was going to ask you out on a date...” He looked at me ruefully. “And then I knocked you
into the glass table and you were gushing blood everywhere. Not exactly an ideal
situation. After we took you to the hospital, well, I figured I'd be the last person you'd
want to go out with.” He took my arm gently and ran a finger down my scar. Then he kissed
it briefly, making me gasp. “I mean, this is pretty permanent but it's not exactly how I
wanted you to remember me...”
“How should I have remembered you?”
Without missing a beat he leaned over and kissed me softly once more. I gasped and
pressed closer to him, running my fingers around the back of his neck, holding him to me
so he'd have no chance to escape again. I opened my mouth, needing to taste him but
he groaned and pulled away from me with a shuddering breath.
“Bella, I'm a man and I'm only human. It's been the most difficult thing in the world to lie
next to you every night and not be able to touch you the way I want to.”
I grabbed the front of his shirt and pulled him down to my level. “Why didn't you say
something?” I repeated.
He was surprised at my reaction. I loosened my grip enough so that he could stand up but
I refused to let him look away.
“What would you have done if I did?” he asked.
I stood there looking at him open-mouthed. What would I have done? Only everything!
With a growl, I launched myself at him, tipping the piano bench to the floor, and
wrapped my arms around him, my fingers digging their way through his hair, pulling him
down until my lips crashed into his. Surprised, he caught me in his arms, staggering
backwards under the force of my weight. His hands held me tightly against him as he
kissed me back just as hungrily. We were heedless of everything in our path, knocking
down the portable island as we stumbled into the kitchen. Edward put out a hand to try
and steady it but it was too heavy and I kept him too occupied -- it went down with a crash.
“Sorry,” he murmured.
“Forget it,” I said as I ran my hands down the back of his neck to his broad shoulders,
holding him close to me. I let out a small mewl as my tongue searched for his, tasting and
breathing him in, and a louder one when he nibbled on my bottom lip, sucking on it gently
before breaking away from me to bury his face in my neck, lathing it with his mouth and tongue
“As much as that?” he panted against my neck.
“More!” I attacked his lips again. He tasted better than I'd imagined - so much better that
I was becoming dizzy trying to take him in all at once. He had me pressed up against the
counter, his hands seemingly everywhere on me but staying away from anything vitally
sensitive, teasing me. I was longing to feel his skin next to mine, to learn how his skin felt
and tasted but the edge of the counter was digging into my back painfully. “Mmm... Ow.”
Edward broke away from my neck. “What is it?” he whispered hoarsely.
I kissed his face repeatedly, completely distracted. “S'nothing... just the counter. Hurts.”
“Oh.”
I felt his hands slide down my back until they cupped my bottom and I gasped when he
pulled me against him. I wrapped my legs around his waist, feeling him pressing against
me and I ran my fingers through his hair, relishing the rough texture against my fingers. I
rocked my hips against him experimentally making him growl and sending shivers through
my overheated body.
I needed to be bold or I'd spontaneously combust before we even got started. I fumbled
with the buttons on my shirt but they were hard for me to reach since I was pressed so
tightly against Edward's chest. The fact that he was nipping at my neck with his teeth
wasn't helping me think clearly, either. I'd managed to get the first three buttons
undone when he stopped me, his hands gripping my wrists tightly and pulling them to my side.
I struggled against him as he ran his tongue along my jawline.
“Will you please stop trying to undress yourself?” he finally said, exasperated.
I gazed at him, wild-eyed and near panic. Doesn't he want this? I could have sworn-
“I want to do that part,” he murmured, nibbling at my earlobe before flicking it lightly with
his tongue.
I whimpered and turned my head to capture his mouth with mine. “Please.”
He groaned and picked me up, abandoning the kitchen and, to my surprise, carried me
down the hall to his room where he kicked open the door. I wildly slapped at the wall
searching for the light switch before finding it and turning it on. He looked at me, his pupils
dilated and skin flushed.
“I want to see you,” I explained, not even remotely embarrassed to confess that - I was
normally a lights-out person, but I wasn't going to miss one second of him if I could help it.
He smiled wickedly at me and put me gently down on the bed. “You're reading my mind,” he
said looking down at me with heavy-lidded eyes. He sat down next to me and stroked my
hair out of my face, running his thumbs over my cheeks.
I turned my eyes down. “Big bed.”
“I'm a tall man. My feet don't dangle off it like they do on smaller beds.”
That fact didn't even occur to me. “Are you uncomfortable in my room?”
He laughed outright. “Never. I love being with you. If you slept in a cardboard box, I'd
still want to be with you.” He cupped my face in his hands and kissed me tenderly. “I love
you, Bella,” he murmured against my lips. “Let me love you.”
My heart pounded in my chest as he spoke those impossible words and I shivered against
him as he laid me back on his bed. He stroked my face, running his hands down my neck
and my shoulders. He kneeled next to me and slowly unbuttoned my shirt. Too late, I'd
remembered that I spent the day outside and I needed a shower. By the time he got my
shirt open, I was beyond caring about anything as he covered my exposed skin with
kisses, nipping at me with his teeth when I was least expecting it so I would jump against
him in shock.
I sat up and struggled out of my shirt, peeling it from my shoulders. “You're driving me
crazy, Edward!” I panted before attacking his clothes with a fury. “Get it off,” I
commanded when my trembling fingers proved too clumsy to function.
He smirked at me but was compliant and quickly had his shirt open. I ran my fingers over
his smooth chest before yanking him back down on top of me.
“Wait! You're not done yet,” he said.
“Not even close,” I murmured sliding my hands over the strong muscles of his back.
He grabbed my wrists and held them over my head. “Behave yourself.”
“Now?” Was he serious?
He chuckled. “I mean, let me do this, please.” And he went to work undressing me.
I was moaning by the time he had me fully stripped. He ran his mouth over me whenever
an article of clothing came off, tantalizing me with his tongue and teeth until I was nearly
begging to touch him back -- insisting that I have my turn with him; but he was adamant
that I let him have his fun. He took his time with me, tasting and teasing and touching me,
doing things that I'd fantasized about but never thought would really happen. I writhed
against him as he sucked on my nipples and moving his fingers against me, bringing me to
the edge of ecstasy, before lowering his head and dipping his tongue inside me until I
rocked against him, crying out in pleasure.
“You taste just as good as I imagined,” he said, his voice hoarse. “Bella, I-”
Not willing to wait any longer, I grabbed him by the hair with both hands and pulled him
up, crushing my mouth on his, tasting myself on his tongue and licking at his lips. If I'd
been rational, I'd have been shocked by my behavior, but I was beyond rational and
only wanted more him.
He was stripped down and kneeling between my legs in record time, gazing into my eyes
with an intense desire I'd never seen in him before, silently asking permission.
Shaking and gasping for breath, I whispered, “Please, Edward. Yes.”
Slowly and, with a soft groan he entered me, filling me up and I grasped at him, holding
him to me as I relished the feel of him – over me – inside me. Whimpering with need, I
tried to move against him, but once more he held me down.
“Wait... stay still... I'm going to lose it... you can't know how good you feel... so good...
” He took a shuddering breath and buried his face in my hair. I felt him jump inside me and
I squeezed in reaction. “Oh god, Bella...”
He started to move and I wrapped my legs around his waist, digging my heels in his
backside to pull him closer to me, wanting to feel all of him. I was overcome with such a
wave of pleasure that I couldn't form a coherent thought. A heavy buildup of pressure
was welling up inside me, spreading from where we were connected out to my belly and
limbs and every nerve in my body until I felt on fire. It was a pleasure bordering on pain,
peaking until I was afraid I would never reach an ending. That I would spend the rest of my
life surrounded by this aching ecstasy. I opened my mouth to tell him that I loved him,
realizing that I'd neglected to tell him, but by then I was beyond any ability to speak.
Sounds tumbled out of my mouth but they had no resemblance to any language.
Edward whispered things into my ear that, if he hadn't been deep inside me, would have
stunned me coming from his mouth. Instead, they fueled my desire to hear him lose
control even more. I rocked against him, meeting him eagerly as he moved within me, until
I was thrust over the edge and descending as wave after wave of my release washed
over me and I was crying out with pleasure, clenching him within me.
Edward gave a final push then stiffened, a low rumble coming from his throat as he
climaxed; leaning his head back, the cords in his neck standing out as he strained against
me. His mouth was open and his eyes were nearly black with passion. I'd never seen
anything more beautiful, ever in my life, and I memorized every detail of his face as he
came inside me.
He was gasping for air and dripping with sweat, but I pulled him down and kissed him
repeatedly, unable to speak.
When he caught his breath, Edward carefully lifted himself off me and propped himself on
his elbow, looking down at me, his eyes full of emotion. “You're beautiful,” he said at last,
tracing my cheek with a finger.
“You've got that backwards,” I informed him with a smile. “You're the one that's beautiful.”
“Silly Bella.” He closed his eyes, exhausted.
“Do you mind if I stay?” I teased, and his eyes flew open.
He drew me closer to him and pulled me into his arms possessively. “If you're going to
your room, I'm coming with you,” he warned.
“Promise?”
“Absolutely.”
Completely happy and wrapped in his arms, I drifted off to sleep not caring about how
fleeting this might be, or the secret that Edward couldn't tell me, or this man, James,
who seemed to be a threat to both of us. I could only think of us being together like this,
here and now.
I can't go back to yesterday, because I was a different person then.
-Alice's Adventures in Wonderland
Lewis Carroll
Chapter 7
I had every intention of meeting Alice on time. I even made sure to set the alarm on my
phone before Edward and I finally slept, but I discovered that it was hard to find the will
to get out of bed when wrapped up in the arms of the man I'd been fantasizing about for
six months straight. That he was naked and lying pressed against me just made it worse.
Besides, the phone managed to fall off of Edward's side table sometime during the night and
it slipped under the bed. I never even heard it go off.
I was ten minutes late.
Alice was already seated, sipping a cup of coffee and looking over the menu by the time I
arrived, out of breath and slightly damp from running from the bus stop. She didn't even
look up as I waslked up to the table.
“Sorry I'm late, Alice,” I said as I nearly collapsed into my chair. “I overslept.” Well, I
might have been on time if I hadn't been so distracted by the sexy, naked man in my bed.
Alice finally looked up from the menu and smirked. “I figured you would. That's why I told
you to come fifteen minutes earlier than I wanted.” She glanced down at her watch.
“Technically, you're five minutes early. Congratulations.”
I rolled my eyes and snatched my napkin while the waiter, noticing my presence,
hovered over me like a big hummingbird in a bad jacket. My water goblet was filled and a
tall glass of juice was set in front of me before I placed the napkin in my lap. “Thanks,” I
mumbled looking anywhere but at Alice, who was watching me. “So,” I said, glancing at
her before picking up the menu. “We're talking wedding stuff now right?”
“Mmm. Mostly. But first I want to know where you got that hickey on your neck.”
I looked at her and clutched the side of my throat in horror.
She just grinned. “No, that doesn't cover it at all. It's right there in front, Bella. Honestly,
didn't you see it this morning?” She took a sip of her coffee, enjoying my discomfiture.
“No.” Of course I didn't see it, I was in too much of a hurry to pay attention to middling
little details like a love bite on my neck. When had Edward bitten me? I didn't remember a
thing about any biting. Alice quietly handed a small compact to me and I opened it,
unmindful of the other diners in the restaurant, and peered at my skin.
“There's nothing there, dear, sweet Alice,” I said, glaring at her. I snapped the compact
shut and tossed it to her, narrowly missing her nose.
Chapter: 7
She gave me a smug look as she tucked it into her purse. “Really? My mistake. It must
have been the lighting. And now, while I have your undivided attention, is there
anything you want to tell me before we get started on my wedding plans? Or are you still
denying it?”
I fiddled with the water glass while struggled with myself. What to tell her? What was
there to say anyway? When I thought back on what happened last night with Edward, I
couldn't think coherently. Nothing was actually settled between us. We had sex, yes, but
that didn't mean we had reached the Happily Ever After stage. In fact, I'd say that
things were made even more complicated because of our little - well, massive, slip up.
Not that I'd take any of it back. No way, Jose.
Alice signed heavily with exasperation. “Bella, I'm your best friend. I hate that I have to
remind you of that because you seem to think that I'm going to bite your head off, but
you know you can trust me. I won't judge you. Much.”
I debated with myself, considering the idea of confiding in Alice. It wouldn't hurt to have
an objective opinion on the matter, I thought. Of course Alice wouldn't be objective. She
was too protective of me to look at the situation I looked at her pert face staring at me
impatiently. Well, maybe not.
Before I could over-analyze it any further I blurted out, “We had sex,” just as the waiter
arrived to take our order. I felt my face turn beet red and I slid down an inch or two in my seat.
He stared at me for a moment, barely hiding his smile. “Should I come back?” he asked, his
interest in our conversation plainly written on his face. This would reflect severely in his tip.
“No, I'll just have the special.” I handed the menu to him with a little more force than
necessary. I could only hope he didn't spit in my food in retaliation.
Alice raised an eyebrow. “Do you even know what the special is?”
“Does it matter?” I asked.
She smirked and placed her order with the waiter who was clearly trying to think of a way
to stick around. We ignored him until he left.
Alice looked at me thoughtfully, wanting to get whatever it was off her chest. “Look, I
don't have anything against Edward. And I've been hoping you two would get together.
But after the mess you've been last week-”
I interrupted her. “That was entirely my fault. I jumped to conclusions and didn't give him
an opportunity to talk to me.” I bit my lip, not wanting to look like a complete ass, but I
knew I would have to confess everything before she'd let Edward off the hook.
I told her about Edward finding me in the freezer and my disastrous attempt to seduce
him afterwards. I didn't mention that he'd been sleeping with me for the past week,
though. It would have been difficult to explain the whole platonically-sharing-a-bed thing
to anyone. And I absolutely avoided details from last night, especially Edward's
declaration. I was still cherishing that in my heart and wasn't willing to share it with
anyone just yet. Just thinking about Edward saying he loved me made my body tingle.
Even if that was all that had happened last night I would still be giddy.
“So,” Alice said, as she fiddled with her silverware and it hit me all of a sudden – Alice was
just as uncomfortable as I was.
“Yeah.” What else more was there to say? I smiled at her, a bit sheepish.
“And tonight you're going to Edward's house to meet the parents?”
“I already know his parents, Alice.” I pointed out getting a little miffed.
“You know what I mean.”
“No, I don't,' I said, testily. “Perhaps you should spell it out for me because I am clearly stupid.”
Alice made a face and turned away for a moment before continuing, “Are you happy?”
Surprised, I had to think about it before I could formulate an answer. “I guess... I'm as
happy as I can be at the moment. I know I'm happy and I feel nearly giddy when I think
about him. I can't describe it. It's as if I've accomplished a huge goal-”
Alice gaped at me and I blushed some more.
“No, I don't mean 'goal' but...” I broke off, unable to explain it properly. “It's as if, for
once, my life is going exactly where I want it to go. I want to hold on to this for as long as
I can.”
Alice rolled her eyes. “Okay then, let me ask you this: If it doesn't work out between you
two. Will it have been it worth it?”
I looked away as I sipped at my orange juice. I felt a big knot of dismay in my stomach
because, even though Edward was wonderful and everything I'd always wanted, I didn't
know the answer to that question.
AN:
Yes, so it's been... almost eleven months since this was updated (For those new to the
story, the November date was a fakeout chapter. Because I am a cruel bitch.) so I
thought I should maybe get something written before I die. Or the year is up, whichever
comes first.
A few items of note:
The first is specifically about birth control. No, I didn't mention it in the story. It was never
my intention to write a Bella gets pregnant story (Even before Breaking Dawn came out.)
and I didn't want to spoil the moment with an aside about safe sex because I'm also not
writing a public service announcement. I just didn't think it was necessary. You know
where babies come from, they know where babies come from and just because I didn't
write it doesn't mean they didn't use it. It's like peeing. Everyone does it. But did you
want me to write about it? Most of you are saying, 'dear God, no!” I'm sure a lot of you
noticed that they went through a few time warps during the scene. I did that on purpose
to move the story along. So, if it makes you feel better to think that during one of those
missing moments Edward put on a condom or Bella mentioned she was on the pill (or both
– better double safe than sorry, right?) then go for it. And, if you want to think that
Edward smacked Bella's ass a few times, then go for that, too!
Secondly, for those of you who don't have me on author's alert, there's now a companion
story to this. Its just a two-parter and is completely finished. But this chapter starts
where that story stops if that makes any sense. It's called A Matter of Perspective and
can be found on my author's page (obviously).
Last, I want to say thank you for voting for AMOC in The Twilight Awards. It wound up
winning best sex scene (unfinished story) and best UST (unfinished story) in the
Romancetastic Round. They cancel each other out and that fact thrills me to no end. :)
I think that's it. Oh. Well, also, I do want to say thank you to everyone who stuck
around. I know it's been a long time since this was updated and for the most part this
chapter is me trying to get back into the swing of things and Not Much Happens. Thanks
to my lovely beta, Alyson who is awesome and Mommy of Both who is pretty dang cool herself.
AN: Thank you for your patience and for the reviews. I promised you it wouldn't take
another eleven months. Three or so isn't so bad in comparison. :)
“I've had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.”
- Groucho Marx
Chapter 8
The ride to the Cullen's was quiet for the most part. I had a lot to think about after my
brunch with Alice and Edward seemed content to just drive. We didn't seem to have a
need to talk and I felt comfortable enough with him that the silence was almost soothing.
Almost. I was still itching to ask him some very pointed questions starting with “So what
the heck was the deal yesterday at the pond?” and going on down the list to “Do your
parents know we're together?” and “Are we together together or just... together?”
before my last question “So, do you still respect me?”
Rational thought had clearly taken a vacation.
We were halfway across the floating bridge when Edward looked at me. “You have that
pensive look on your face again. What are you thinking?”
I smiled a bit. “Well, mostly I was just wondering.”
“Were you going to share or were you going to stare at me the whole way? It makes me
nervous.”
Ha! Right. Like I could make anyone nervous at all. Even tiny dogs weren't afraid of me.
I took a deep breath and mentally prepared myself to look foolish. “I was wondering, and I
feel silly for even asking this, but, I've been thinking about your parents.”
This must have surprised him because his smile faded a bit. “What about them?”
I continued,“And me going to dinner with you. And my... role, I guess you could call it.”
“Are you acting?” He sounded amused.
“No, of course not. But I'm really anxious about tonight. No, that's not right. I'm really
anxious about you.”
“I make you anxious?”
“No. You don't, but this, this something... this wonderful something between us does. I'm
worried it's just temporary.”
By now we were off the bridge and on solid ground which was fortunate because Edward
hastily pulled off the road. His jaw was set as he put the car into park and after taking a
Chapter: 8
deep breath, he turned to face me.
“Why did you pull over?” I asked, becoming even more worried than before.
“I just wanted to have something clarified. What, exactly, is this something you're talking
about?”
My heart sank as he spoke but he continued before I could gather my wits.
“Because I need to know if your definition of something and mine are the same.”
I blinked. “What's your definition?”
“My definition, and you can look it up,” he said with a self-deprecating smile, “is that
you're my something and I want to be something to you.”
I smiled back. “What a strange coincidence. That's precisely mine as well. That's good, isn't it?”
The joy on his face nearly startled me. “I'd say it's great.” He took my hand and pulled me
closer to him. “Look, whatever you're feeling–or not feeling–it's okay. I'm not going to
break,” he said, his smile twisting at me.
“What I'm feeling–well, I don't know if I can find the words for that. You've been my ideal
for so long–”
“Ideal? That sounds pretty impressive.”
“You're an impressive kind of guy. And what I'm feeling for you kind of scares me. I'm
afraid you'll leave.”
He looked out of the window for a moment, observing the cars as they rushed by, before
turning back, staring me down with an intensity I haven't seen in him since, well, since last
night right before he told me he loved me. My heart started beating wildly against my ribs
as I waited for him to speak.
“If I told you,” he said, his voice nearly raw with emotion, “that I would have given
anything in the world to have one night with you, just one night... if that's all that I'm
allowed to have–the world could blow up or aliens landed tomorrow...”
My brain must have frizzled because I couldn't think of anything to say. I opened my
mouth but the only thing that came out was a breathless, “Yes?”
“Even if you hated me, Bella, I would still never regret it.” Then he grabbed me by the
shoulders and kissed me. There was nothing gentle about this kiss. He was rough and
insisting, taking everything that I gave and then demanded more. I threaded my hands
into his hair and pulled him closer, giving him what he needed.
We were twenty minutes late for dinner.
The Cullen's home was beautiful, of course, even with the rented dumpster off to the
side. Edward had warned me earlier that his parents were remodeling the house so it
would be in an advanced state of disrepair. But even with the various materials lying
around, the place was impressive. He pulled up next to Emmett's cruiser then helped me
out of the car, nearly running to get to my door before I could open it. I'd bet anything
that his mother had been watching. I took his hand and held it tightly as we walked up the
steps to the ornately carved front door. Edward didn't knock on the door but simply
turned the handle and walked in.
I was wrong. It wasn't Esme but Carlisle who met us in the hallway.
“Edward! It's about time you got here. I was just about to send out the troops.” He
smacked Edward across the shoulders in that macho, non-hugging way in which men show
affection for one another and then turned all of his attention to me. “My, my... Little
Bella Swan. You've grown up, haven't you?”
Oh god. Kill. Me. Now. I plastered on my best, not-at-all freaked out smile. “I guess so,
Dr. Cullen, it's been six years.”
He waved Edward away and took my elbow, guiding me into the cavernous living room
that faced the entire west side of the house. “Please, call me Carlisle. I'm not your
attending physician any longer, am I right?”
“Mmm.” I looked around and noticed that the living room must have been finished
because everything was perfect–the furniture, the window coverings, every well-chosen
painting on the walls, each meticulously arranged accessory. It looked like Martha
Stewart had come in and waved her magic wand over the place. There was even a
perfectly laid out fire blazing in the grate despite the heat of the day. I was intensely
uncomfortable. I didn't think I could walk in without messing something up. “It's very
pretty,” I said as I looked around for a Bella-friendly place to sit.
Edward must have sensed my unease because he interrupted just then. “I'm just going to
take Bella to see Mom. She'd have my head if I didn't bring her in right away.”
“Sure, she's in the kitchen. Go on in. Emmett and Rosalie are out back, too.”
We were already halfway across the room as he spoke. Edward took my hand and led me
through the designer living room, down the back hallway, and into the most disorganized
kitchen I'd ever seen.
Esme glance up from the counter and smiled brightly before returning her attention back
to what she was doing. “Hello, Bella. Sorry, I'd come greet you properly but I'm in a bit of
a bind. I was running late so I didn't get dinner started on time. I have to get the sauce
going and chop up the veggies for the salad. And there's the bread to do still...”
I sighed in relief–this was something I could relate to–and sidled up to offer my help.
Arranged around the cutting board were plain cereal bowls obviously scavenged from
the cupboards because they did not look like they came from the Pottery Barn catalogue.
The kitchen must not have gotten the total overhaul yet. Esme plowed through an onion
using an eight hundred dollar knife that I'd been coveting for over a year and I couldn't
tear my eyes away as she worked.
I stared in fascinated horror as she continued to mutilate another onion. How can
someone not know how to chop a vegetable? It's such a simple process. The poor, poor
onion. What did it ever do to Esme?
“Um. Can I help in any way?” I asked, my eyes never leaving the cutting board and the
savaged vegetables. Please say yes. I couldn't stand to watch any more.
“That would be lovely, Bella. Edward told me that you were quite the little chef.”
I felt my eye beginning to twitch. That phrase had to be one of my most hated sayings.
Right behind “Susie Homemaker”. I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. I too anxious
to make a good impression on Edward's family, which mean that I was going to fail big time
if I didn't relax soon.
Yeah, right.
I pretended I didn't heard that hated phrase and gave as carefree a smile as possible.
“Can you do the carrots for me?”
“Of course.” I was at it for a while, letting the repetitive task sooth my nervousness.
Esme worked next to me and eventually I felt my guard drop as we chatted and worked
on our mundane tasks together–me peeling the veggies and Esme massacring them. I
probably should have insisted on changing tasks with her.
After a bit, Esme stopped and wiped her hands on a dish towel. “I love having my boys
home,” she said as she looked out of the window. “Edward had been gone too long for me.
It's good he's back. I hope he stays this time. I don't like it when he's so far away.”
I followed her gaze and my hands stopped cold. Edward and Carlisle were getting some
obviously much needed bonding time by playing catch. The grin on Edward's face was
carefree–so gorgeous that it nearly took my breath away. They weren't talking, but they
didn't seem to feel the need to as they continued to toss the ball back and forth. It looked
like a Coke commercial.
I stared at the way Edward's shoulders moved under his shirt. I made a mental note to
play catch with Edward in the near future. I didn't care what kind, just as long as it
involved Edward, me, those shoulders, and balls of some sort. “Um. He's been back
before?” I asked as I very carefully did not follow that train of thought in front of his mother.
“Just for visits. Nothing longer than a few weeks at the most.” She turned around to lean
against the counter. “I'd always wanted more children, you see. At least a dozen, but it
just wasn't possible. We tried. I even conceived after Edward but... it just wasn't
possible,” she repeated, gazing at the wall in back of me.
I quickly looked at her, totally overwhelmed and unable to speak. Why was she telling me
this? The obvious sadness that had crept into her voice had me struggling to find
something to say. What was the appropriate response in this situation? I had no frame of
reference to go by.
Esme saw my discomfort and smiled serenely. “It's okay. It happened a long time ago and
I've made peace with it. Though I am looking forward to grandchildren. I've been hinting
to the boys that it's long past time for them to settle down but they haven't listened at
all. Emmett and Rose are getting serious so I'm hopeful for them. And now it's Edward's
turn.” She eyed me, her gaze quickly dropping to my stomach and back up to my face–it
was so fast that I wasn't sure I'd really seen it–her too gentle smile never wavering an
inch, and I wondered what sort of medications she was on.
A bubbling sort of panic rose up from my toes, snaking its way to my knees, grabbing my
middle in a vise and threatening to well up through my neck in a deafening scream
because the instant she mentioned it I got a fleeting glimpse of Edward as a father and
my body responded to it immediately. Not good. She was looking at me curiously and I
found myself doing battle with Edward's mom and my ovaries. It was not fair. I was being
attacked from angles I'd never considered before.
It seemed the best defense in this situation was to keep my mouth shut so I turned back
to the window and watched them play. I smiled as Carlisle said something that made
Edward throw back his head and laugh. It was quite adorable. Before he had time to
recover, Emmett came barreling out of nowhere and tackled him at the knees. The
baseball was abandoned as they wrestled on the ground.
Boys, indeed. I rolled my eyes at them. More like overgrown puppies.
Esme tsked. “I wondered how long it would take before this happened. Any minute Carlisle
will be right in it with them. He's such a kid sometimes.” She shook her head. “I'd better
go supervise before someone puts an eye out. Will you be okay in here for a bit?”
Yes! Leave! “I'll be just fine,” I said in my most reassuring voice. “You wanted this for a
sauce, right? I can get that going for you.”
She smiled at me. “And a salad. I'm sure you know what goes where. I'll be a back in a
few minutes.”
It wasn't until I saw her in the window before I was able to take a deep breath. I turned
my attention to the food and in less than ten minutes I had dinner well on its way to
deliciousness. I glanced back at the window and noticed that Edward and Emmett had
stopped wrestling and I wondered who won the tussle. Now they were talking near the
edge of the lawn. I didn't see their parents anywhere.
I wandered out from the kitchen, wiping my hands on my jeans as I went and found the
door to the back porch.
I was surprised to see Rosalie sitting on the back porch concentrating on a lap full of cross
stitching. I admit that gawked a bit. She didn't seem the type for needlecrafts to me.
She seemed to be the type who would enjoy full-contact roller derby.
I sat down next to her, smiling. “Hi.”
She barely looked up, glancing at me out of the corner of her eye before going back to
her work. “Hey, Bella.”
The knot of anxiety appeared again and I crossed my arms over my chest wishing I'd gone
to talk to Edward and Emmett instead. But I hadn't, so until I could think of a good excuse
to get up I was stuck making small talk with Rosalie.
“That's very pretty.”
“Thanks.” She held it up so I could see the flower pattern better in the light. “I'm nearly
done.” She set it aside then turned to me. “So, have you made up your mind about
Edward yet?”
The knot twisted up tighter. “Excuse me?”
“Are you done with him? Edward was a wreck all week long. I don't know what you did,
Bella, but you're breaking his concentration. I don't think you realize how close we are to
this project being finished and I don't need you yanking Edward around on your emotional
roller coaster.”
I stared at her open-mouthed. “I don't see what business it is of yours,” I said when my
brain caught up.
“His private life is none of my business, but his work is. And when he can't concentrate
then people are in danger. Do you understand that? We're not building matchbox cars,
it's a space station. I need all his attention on his work not on some stupid girl who can't
even get it together. Look at you. You're a basket case.
“What about you and Emmett? You're allowed to have a social life. Other people are
allowed to have a social life. If Boeing wanted monks working for them, they should have
advertised at the Vatican.”
“This isn't about a social life, it's about focus. Edward's lost his focus because he's
concentrating so much on you that he can't see straight.”
“How do you even know this?”
Rosalie hesitated. “Look, I know you think I'm just some dumb blond who probably slept
her way through university. I know what people think when they look at me and I'd be lying
if I didn't play to that. It gets me where I want to be. And it just occurred to me, you're a
bit of an attention whore.”
I felt my jaw drop in surprise. “What?”
She looked down at my outfit and shrugged. “You try to do it subtly, which is interesting,
but you don't fool me one bit. That stunt at the restaurant last weekend, taking our
attention away from Alice and Jasper. Sure you said you didn't mean to but now I
wonder. You have a Pollyanna way about you. It works, don't get me wrong. But you
would do yourself and Edward a huge favor if you just backed off for a few months. It's
not like you don't know where he lives after all. You can always play when he gets back.”
She got up, gathering her stupid cross stitching as she went. “I'm going to go see if Esme
needs any help. Bye.”
Dinner was an uncomfortable affair. Rosalie had taken the wind right out of my sails with
her accusations and the worst part of it was that I was wondering if she might have been
right. I did my best to appear relaxed and normal but, though the others didn't know me
well enough to tell the difference, I know Edward noticed. He kept glancing at me with
concern and offering more food.
While I was in college, I read an article about the mating rituals in birds stating that males
of certain species would ply their prospective mates with food. I have no idea how true
that is, but with the amount of food he kept shoving at me, it seemed to be Edward's
intentions to mate with me there on the table. In the end, I wound up pushing the
spaghetti around my plate so it would look like I'd been eating. Even I had my limits.
Esme and Rosalie seemed to be good friends, which didn't make me feel any better. I
must have been truly defective if I was the only one who didn't get along with her.
Edward and Carlisle went out of their way to draw me into the conversation and, grateful
for the effort, I really just wanted to get home.
After dessert, I got up to help clear the table and was shooed away by Esme.
“You helped me enough already by cooking,” she said as she stacked the plates. “Why not
sit outside and watch the stars come out?”
I wandered into the hallway, which was one of the areas still under renovation, and
found the bathroom. I was unsure if it was actually working–the light switch was hard to
find and there were sheets of plastic hanging from the ceiling protecting half the room
from the detritus of the remodel.
The toilet and sink still worked, though and I was just done drying my hands when I heard
voices coming down the hallway. I tried the doorknob but it stuck. I rattled it in
desperation – getting stuck in the bathroom was just humiliating.
“...I thought you liked her.” It was Edward speaking and he sounded indignant about something
“I like her enough.” Rosalie said, her voice low and let's-be-reasonable. “She's fine. But
that was before she became a weak spot. James has marked her as a target now
because of you.”
He sighed loudly. “I didn't think Bella would get involved.”
“You didn't think at all, stupid. She's going to make things worse for you.
“Don't say that. Bella's the best thing I have going for me right now.”
“Edward, can't you get it through your thick skull? It doesn't matter. She's a problem.
Later, when this is all finished you can sweep her off her feet, but you do not have the
luxury of a love life right now. Don't you understand?
“No.”
'You don't understand?” Her voice was incredulous.
“I understand. I just refuse to accept it.”
“And if James goes after her?”
“I'll protect her.”
Rosalie laughed. “Right. I'd love to see that. You'd just get yourself hurt in the process,
then I'll have to come in and save your ass and hers as well, when it can be prevented
now if you'd just listen to me.
“No.”
“You're a stubborn son of a bitch.”
Edward's voice became icy, “Watch what you're saying in this house. Anyway, it's too
late now, he already knows about her. We'll be gone in a week. We shouldn't have
anything to worry about.”
“This is your plan? You're going to protect her by leaving? Are you stupid? There are two
more operatives waiting.”
“It's all I have right now. James is coming with us, the others won't act without him.”
"And you're willing to bet her life on that?”
“If I wasn't so sure, I would pull out of the project now.”
“Do that and I'll have your head on a platter.”
I heard Edward chuckle darkly. “You don't scare me, Rose.” Then it was quiet as Edward
walked down the hallway toward the back porch.
I was so stunned from what I overheard that I might have missed Rose's stilettos
clacking away so I stood against the door waiting it out while I mulled over what Edward's
real job might be. Certainly he didn't work for Boeing.
Rosalie's voice startled me out of my thoughts. “You can come out now, Bella. I know
you're there.”
Idiotically, even though I knew she couldn't see me, I crouched down behind the door,
hoping she'd go away.
“I know you're there because I made sure of it.” Her footsteps came closer to the door and
I curled up tighter. “The sauce was good, by the way. You're an excellent cook. I think
you're a very nice person. You could be amazing for Edward and he needs some amazing in
his life. But now's not the time. Leave him alone, Bella. For his own good if not for yours.
See you when we get back.”
I waited until her clicking heels had gone all the way down the hallway before emerging,
shaking, from my hiding place. Oh god. What had I gotten myself into?
It wasn't much longer after that exchange that Edward and I took our leave, which was
fine by me. My attempts at socializing were getting more pathetic as the evening wore
on. I excused it by saying I'd had a hard weekend and they must have thought I was a
sissy because they bought it without question. We said our goodbyes and left the house
quietly. I guess Edward had a lot on his mind. Though I was dying to ask him about what
I'd overheard, I just wanted to wait until we were in the car and he couldn't escape.
“Edward, can I ask you something?” I asked once we were on the road and driving at a
steady pace.
His answering smile nearly made me regret my decision. “Anything,” he said.
I licked my dry lips. “You don't really work for Boeing, do you?”
He clenched his jaw and I waited breathlessly for him to say something, hoping I hadn't
just spoiled everything by not waiting like he'd asked.
“Of course I do.”
“But that's not all you do, is it? You're not just a rocket scientist like you said.”
His voice was low and strained. “Why do you think that?”
I was afraid of what he would think of my eavesdropping. No matter how inadvertent it
was as the time, I know it would seem as if I was spying on him. But really, why would
anyone have a secret conversation when they knew another room was right there?
Honestly. It's his own fault. “I was in the bathroom when I heard you talking to Rosalie,”
I whispered.
Edward hit the brakes hard and swerved off the road. I had to hold on to the sides of my
seat as the rear of the car fishtailed on the loose gravel before we came to a complete
stop. He put the car in park then jabbed at the hazard lights with a shaking finger.
I studied his face in the dim glow of the dashboard light. I waited for him to talk to me
but he was being stubbornly silent. There was no sound except for the click-click click-click
of the flashers which sounded like a bomb counting down to Doomsday. Any minute one
of us was going to explode.
He dropped his hand and turned away, looking out of the windshield. I followed his gaze
and noticed that we were on a lonely stretch of road without lights or, it seemed, nearby
houses. I plucked nervously at the hem of my skirt. If my life were a movie, this would be
the scene where the heroine gets attacked–and I'd been enough of a shrew tonight to
provoke Edward to do it.
“What exactly did you hear, Bella?”
Well, that was it, wasn't it? I had no idea what they were talking about, only that it
seemed to me that they were being clandestine about something. Years of watching
Three's Company reruns told me that it never paid to jump to hasty conclusions; and
besides, I had to know before I let myself get in deeper with him than I already was. “I
don't know. I couldn't make sense of it. Just that Rosalie wasn't happy with you. Or with
me,” I said, remembering our conversation earlier. “She wouldn't tell me why, but she told
me to stay away from you.” I glanced at his face, nervous but too frustrated to let it go.
“And what did you tell her?” He was frowning but I couldn't be sure if that was because of
Rosalie or me.
“I told her to mind her own damn business.”
Edward cracked a smile which made me feel a little better. “Good.
I had my hard limits as far as what I'd put up with in a relationship and he was fast
reaching one of them. “I don't think I could ever be with someone who would deceive me.”
I stared at his profile pondering how we got to this situation. I wished life didn't have to
be so complicated.
“Yeah,” he said quietly. “I'll remember that.”
He stared at me, his worried eyes roving over my face. “What are you thinking?”
I shrugged. “I'm wondering how things would have been between us if I hadn't crashed
into you last June. I know we would have met at some point but–”
He smirked. “You didn't crash into me.”
“What?
“I ran into you. I was trying to catch up before you disappeared into the crowd.”
I stared at him, not comprehending in the slightest. “You knew I was going to be there?”
“No, I didn't.” He wiped imaginary dust from the steering wheel. If I didn't know better,
I'd say he was stalling. “I saw you running pell mell across the street. It was just a glimpse
really, but I knew it was you just the same. So I sped up.”
I felt my mouth drop.
“Then, to my surprise, we were heading to the same place, but I was going too fast by
that point. When you stopped to open the door I ran into you. And in some really strange
twist of fate, we moved in together. And you know the rest, I suppose.”
I sat and stared at him. I could feel my irritation completely fizzling away even though I
wasn't ready for it to go yet. I crossed my arms over my chest like a petulant child. “That's
just not fair. I can't think when you say things like that to me. I'm not even mad at you
any more. You're good at manipulation, Edward Cullen. Too good. What I hate is that I'll
probably let you get away with it.”
He leaned in. “What can I say, it's my super power.”
“That's quite a power. I hope you only wield it for the forces of good.” I moved closer to
him, completely willing to let a minor detail such as Edward's apparent duplicity go. Why
care about that when he was so close I could practically taste him?
He smiled crookedly. “I'm very, very careful where I wield my power.”
Then he attacked.
My toes were just beginning to braid themselves when the car was flooded with light. We
quickly pulled apart as sound of crunching tires on gravel got closer, then Edward cursed
under his breath as the sudden flash of red and blue strobes added to our misery.
Two thoughts looped through my mind as we straightened up in our seats and the dark
shadow of the police officer loomed up through the fog-shrouded windows: Oh god! Oh
god! We are going to get arrested for public indecency. My dad is going to kill me. And,
thank god this happened with Edward instead of with some dweeb. That would have made
it that much worse.
I pulled my hair from my face and made sure my skirt was on straight when I noticed
that Edward didn't even bother tucking his shirt in, the fly of his trousers was left undone
and his lips were smeared with my lipstick.
“Edward!” I whispered, pointing to his face. “You're wearing my lipstick!”
“I know. I like it there.” He had just enough time to smirk at me before there was an
imperious tap on the window.
Edward rolled the window down, an innocent look on his not-so-innocently smudged face.
I leaned back in my seat so I wouldn't be seen in my current state of undress, but at the
same time I wanted to know what was happening so I leaned my head toward Edward in
order to see who it was.
It didn't matter as a flashlight was shone right into our eyes. I squinted and held up a
hand to block it out but Edward didn't even move a muscle. “Can I help you, Officer?” he asked
A gruff voice replied, “May I see some identification?”
Edward just stared at the shadowy figure beyond the glaring light in our eyes. He was
taking way too long for my comfort. Then he made a disgusted sound and grabbed the
flashlight from the policeman's hand. I nearly started hyperventilating. Was he crazy?
“Emmett, you dick! What are you doing out here?” He switched the flashlight off and I was
finally able to make out Emmett's impish face grinning down at us.
“I could ask you the same thing,” Emmett said in his normal, jolly voice. “And arrest you
for ten different violations, though I'm sure the real violation you were intending was
consensual. Hi, Bella.” He nodded at me and turned back to Edward with a too smug grin
on his face. “I'm recording this with the camera in my cruiser so you may want to watch
your language.” He rested his arms on the doorframe and said thoughtfully, “I think I'm
going to make Christmas cards with it.”
Edward shoved the heavy flashlight into Emmett's stomach. “Mom would have your head.”
“I know. I just like the idea of having something over perfect Eddie's head for once.” He
took a deep, self-satisfied breath and let it out. Even that was smugly done and I was
starting to get annoyed. “You should move along now before I write you a ticket.”
“For what?” Edward asked indignantly.
“Obstructing the right of way.”
Edward shook his head in disgust, rolled up the window and put the car in gear. Emmett
tapped the window once more and once more Edward put the car in park and rolled down
the window, all the time getting more and more irritated with his brother.
“What is it?”
“Your fly's undone. You might want to pack it back in before someone gets the wrong
idea about you, you pervert.”
“I needed some air. What do you want, Emmett?”
“Yeah, all perverts say that. Rose is in the car, by the way. She says hi.” Emmett lifted a
hand and waved at the car in back of us, fingers splayed out like a five year-old. And,
uh,” he quickly glanced at me before turning serious. “I'm going to follow you back to your
place.”
Edward straightened up and put both his hands on the steering wheel, staring straight
ahead. “Oh, you are?”
“Yep. Apparently there's been bears spotted in these woods tonight. Wouldn't want
anything to eat you or Bella.”
Edward let that jibe slide right by. “Bears?”
Emmett nodded. “Yep. Big ones. At least two, could be three. Anyway, I left Dad with
some repellant. I'll tail you back to your apartnemt. I took the liberty of sending someone
to drive by and check it out. After that you're on your own.”
Edward took a deep breath and let it out slowly. His face was totally unreadable. I couldn't
tell if he was angry or scared or embarrassed or what. He nodded once to his brother and
rolled up the window for a final time, put the car back in gear and turned off the
hazards. Then we were back on the road and driving faster than I thought necessary.
“Jerk.” Edward sounded beyond angry.
I was over being embarrassed from being caught making out in the Volvo with Edward and
started to feel myself getting angry. I knew I was being left out of something and I hated
it. It made me feel like I was seven years old again and not old enough to sit at the
grown up table. There were no bears following us. That was just stupid. And even if
there were they couldn't chase down Edward's car. Then it hit me. Emmett knew what
Edward was up to.
That bastard!
“Emmett knows, doesn't he?” I stared at him in disbelief. “What the hell is going on,
Edward?” I ticked off the points on my fingers. “Those people showing up out of nowhere
yesterday, your insane travel schedule, Rosalie telling me to back off, your talk about not
being safe, and now we're being followed from your parents' house? Really? This is all a bit
too cloak and dagger for me.” Then I gasped as clues slotted together.
“So you overheard Rosalie talking to me and now all of a sudden you think I'm not who I
say I am?”
“It's not Rosalie. It's you. I know the answer is there in front of me but you have my
head turned around so I can't see straight. If you can't tell me about your job, that's
fine, I understand that. But I'm feeling like I'm in over my head and I just wish I knew why.
If I knew I was dating James Bond it would make things easier.”
“You think I'm James Bond?” His voice was dripping with sarcasm, but it didn't put me off
for one bit.
“You wouldn't lie to me would you?”
Edward looked straight ahead. “I want you to be safe. But I want you with me. And I'm
not exactly safe.”
A tiny voice inside me was screaming, He didn't answer the question! I took a deep breath
and slowly let it out. “A rocket scientist wouldn't have to say that.”
“Don't blame me if you get exactly what you want and you don't like it, Bella.”
“Excuse me?” My voice sounded scathing even to my ears.
He was about to answer me when his phone rang.
Edward muttered to himself as he put in his hands-free device. “What is it, Emmett?”
I watched as his face turned positively black with rage. “Where was she spotted?”
I stared at him waiting for him to tell me what that was about, but as usual he was silent.
He didn't even glance my way. I could started to feel anger starting a slow burn inside of
me. He was getting beyond my patience.
We drove home in silence. I could tell he was mulling things over and I spent the drive
with my own thoughts bubbling around my head while I watched him ignore me.
I was so focused on him that we were back home before I realized and as I looked around
I noticed that Edward had parked in the street instead of his regular spot. He shut the car
off and leaned his head against the seat. Emmett blooped his siren once sto say
goodnight before driving off.
“What's going on?” I asked when the squad car was out of sight. Edward merely shook
his head and closed his eyes tight. I wished like heck that he would open up. Sure, I
could understand that he would trust his brother–Emmett's a cop, after all and he was
no dummy–but surely he knew he could talk to me. I reached out to him, but at the touch
of my hand on his shoulder he flinched away. Stung at his unexpected rejection I tucked
my hands under my legs and waited for him to do something. He took a couple of deep
breaths, seeming to steel himself against something. Instinctively I tensed up–this had all
the earmarks of a breakup in the making. Something inside me was screaming, telling me
that I was missing something obvious, but it was rapidly being swallowed by the panic welling u
“Edward?”
He opened his eyes and looked at me with a fleeting pained expression before it hardened
into something that looked almost cruel. “Stay,” he said and he scrambled out of the car
and rushed around to the passenger side.
The small pilot light on my anger flared up with that word. I did not appreciate being
treated like a stray animal. I glared at him as he opened my door. I stepped out as
gracefully as I could while also trying to express my displeasure. “Jerk.”
Okay, perhaps that was more direct.
Edward just stared at me, that hateful look still on his face and at that moment I wanted
nothing more than to smack it off. I turned on my heel and started to stomp off to the
front door but before I took two steps Edward had picked me up and swung me over his
shoulder like a sack of potatoes. He started walking away from the front door, down
around the far corner.
“What do you think you're doing, Edward?” I started smacking his back as I yelled,
anything to make him to let me go. “Put me down this second or I swear to god I will–oof!”
My breath was knocked out of me as he complied and I staggered a bit before regaining
my balance. “What is wrong with you? Did aliens take over your brains tonight?”
“You need to listen to me very carefully, Bella, because I'm only going to say this once. I
want you to stop asking me questions. You need to learn to mind your own business.”
“Damn it, Edward, you made it my business. You said yourself that I was in some kind of
trouble. I heard you talk to Rosalie about it and don't even try to deny it. Don't you think
I deserve to know what's happening or am I that incapable?”
He ran a hand through his hair and gave out a frustrated groan. “Damn it, Bella! You
don't know when to leave well enough alone. You promised not to meddle and then you
don't even go one day without trying to pry things out of me that you have no business
knowing.”
I was confused. And angry. And hurt. It was so out of character for Edward to put on a
display like this. The man who loved me last night would never deliberately get into a
shouting match with me in front of strangers walking by on the street. There were a few
interested glances in our direction but so far no one stopped to watch the show. It was
only a matter of time before we drew a small crowd and I wanted to get inside as quickly
as possible. The thought that he was intentionally being an ass circled around again and I
latched on to it. It was the only thing that made any sense.
“You're doing this on purpose aren't you?” As usual I spoke before I could properly think
it through.
His voice was sharp. “What?”
“You're provoking a fight with me. Why? Why would you do that? Last night you said you
loved me and now you're making me so mad I want to hit you.” My hands were balled up
into fists and I was struggling not to take out my anger on his face. “Did you mean it or
were you just trying to get into my pants?”
He smirked in a grotesque imitation of his normally beautiful smile. “If we're talking about
trying to get into someone's pants I could ask you the same thing. I noticed you never
said a word about love last night and I know that you've wanted me for months. You got
what you wanted. Are you happy now?”
I gaped at him, not believing what I just heard. How dare he?
“I hate you.” I spoke with as much venom as I could muster, fighting the tears that were
threatening to spill over. I'd cried over this man more times than I could count and I was
damned if he was going to see me blubber in front of him. He didn't deserve my tears. I
grabbed onto my anger and held onto it with everything I had.
I turned around and walked away as fast as I could. The idea that the whole thing was
deliberate was still floating around in my mind but I was too hurt by his words to focus.
Nothing made sense at all anymore and I hurried to get away from him.
He tailed me and didn't let me get so far as an inch out of his sight until we got to our
apartment. My hands were trembling as I tried to fit the key into the lock and my blurry
vision wasn't helping any. He gently took the keys from me and opened the door himself.
I pushed him out of my way and stalked into the hallway but was cornered as soon as I
reached the kitchen.
His voice was low in my ear and the spite that tinged his voice earlier was absent. “Don't
go any further. I want to make sure this place is safe.”
“From bears?” I asked as I watched him look out the window before closing the blinds.
He shook his head and walked off to my room. I went anyway as there was absolutely
no reason why I should stay in the kitchen while he did his weird, over-protective cop act.
He turned the light on in my room, headed to the bathroom and even checked out my
closet before he found me leaning against my doorframe with my arms folded across my
chest. I begrudgingly gave him points for not jumping in front of doors and yelling, “Ah ha!”
“You forgot to look under my bed,” I said acidly.
He looked at me with exasperation. “Can't you, for once, do something I tell you to do?
Why are you so stubborn?”
“Why the show downstairs?” I countered. “And who's supposed to be in my closet?”
He rubbed the back of his neck wearily. “I'm going to be a jerk again and not tell you.”
“Hmph. You're turning out to be really good at jerkhood.”
He shoved his hands in his pockets and nodded his head. If I wasn't already seething I'd
have considered that adorable.
“You're pushing me away.”
Still he was silent.
I jabbed my finger at him. “If you're not going to tell me anything then get the hell out of
my room before I make you. You're not welcome in here any more.”
He brushed past me and walked away. I watched him open the closet door and swipe the
coats to one side before closing it again.
“You know, if someone had been in here, he'd have had plenty of time to sneak out again
while we were in my room. It's not like we're being quiet.”
He frowned at me before continuing to his room. I turned my light off and shut the door
before following him all the time surreptitiously checking out the shadows of the living
room from the corners of my eyes. Damn it! He just made me paranoid. I'd probably be
inspecting closets for weeks to come.
I waited at his door until he was done checking things out. I noticed with smug
satisfaction that he looked under his bed.
“Rosalie was right. You are stupid. This is you trying to protect me from something I'm
not even aware of. How am I supposed to defend myself against an unknown threat?”
He strode quickly across the room, pushed me against the wall and slapped his hands on
either side of my head with a loud smack, trapping me. He was visibly furious and I
swallowed hard against the panic that welled up inside.
“I have had enough. I asked for one simple thing and you couldn't even do that. You
eavesdropped, you badgered, and you're trying to coerce me. You should be outlawed.
When will you take the hint?”
“I'll take the hint when you tell me why you're looking for monsters in the closet, Edward.”
I was proud that my voice didn't quiver, but it was a near thing. I was shaking so badly
that I wasn't sure I would be able to stand upright for much longer.
We stared at each other, neither of us willing to give in to the other. I refused to look
away. I didn't even blink. He was inches away, breathing heavily. The heat from his body
and the intense passion in his eyes sent waves of desire through my body which slammed
into the wall of anger I'd erected. I fought against the two emotions battling for
dominance inside–before they joined forces against me–and instead concentrated on
Edward, who looked like he was fighting an inner struggle.
He was the first to speak. “You have nightmares.”
“I–what?” I was stunned at this sudden change of topic. “How did you—”
“You talk in your sleep. Sometimes you yell. You scream-” His voice broke mid-sentence.
Ashamed, I tore my eyes away from his intense stare. Of course I knew I talked in my
sleep. Everyone who knows me knew about it. It was a big joke among my family when I
was growing up and it was so normal for me that it didn't even occur to me to worry
about what Edward would think of it.
“Do you honestly expect me to add fuel to your nightmares?”
“Do you honestly expect me to not have any after tonight?”
“I did ask you to wait in the kitchen.”
“You ordered me to stay like a dog.” I pointed out, lifting an eyebrow at him.
His eyes narrowed and he focused on my face with an intensity that left me dizzy. I felt
close to passing out. I needed air and some space.
“Edward, you're partly right. I am going to have nightmares now, but not from some
imaginary boogeyman. Right now, you're the only monster I see.”
“I never wanted you to be involved in this–”
“In what?” I was so frustrated that I wanted to headbutt him. Maybe that would knock
some sense into that exasperating brain of his. His face was so close to mine that I had to
lean back against the wall in order to look him in the eyes.
They were scorching. “I knew it would be a mistake to move in with you and I still couldn't
help myself. As it turns out, I am that selfish.”
I felt the wind knocked out of me because he was right. It had been a huge mistake to
live with him. I didn't think I'd ever fully recover from the past two weeks. From the
sound of Edward's voice as he spoke, he was torn as well.
“You don't just have nightmares.” He leaned down and murmured in my ear, his warm
breath caressing my cheek. “You talk about me. You whisper things. Things that I have
been waiting to hear from you. I have an infinite amount of patience, Bella. I would wait
forever to hear you say that you love me while you were actually conscious. You are
worth everything.”
He pressed against me and I felt exactly how much patience he had against my leg. “And
I would give anything to know what you dream of because listening to you moan my name
in your sleep makes me burn.”
I gasped he leaned in and bit the side of my neck, nipping cruelly as he worked his way
down to the hollow at my throat. I leaned into him as his worried the skin at my shoulder
as he pushed the strap of my top down. He shifted his leg so it was between mine, leaning
in further, and the sudden pressure had me trembling in his arms. I was losing sight of
everything important. The only thing that mattered at that moment was Edward and the
feelings he was creating inside me.
“You were heartless to wear this tonight. If we'd stayed ten minutes longer we'd have
been doing this in my parents' hallway instead of here at home.”
It was crazy that my heart squeezed a little when he said 'home'; but it did and I melted
into his arms even more when his hands seemed to multiply–how could they be at so
many places at once? He started finding sensitive areas to tease, making my knees
wobble. I tried to put up at least a tiny bit of a fight. I was still angry with him over
tonight's caveman behavior. And I was annoyed with myself for falling for his tricks again.
It took two tries before I was able to say anything coherently. “You're awfully sure of
yourself, Mr. Cullen.”
I felt him smile against my cheek. “Not one bit. Just optimistic. And willing to take a risk.”
“I'm not a risk.”
“Yes, you are.” Then he planted his mouth on mine, effectively shutting up any argument
I could possibly think of at the moment and swept me off into his room.
When I woke up in the morning he was gone.
A/N: I have to beg your indulgence as the coming months are going to be super busy for
me. Please try to be patient with me. I'll write when I can but I won't be able to give you
a post-by date for chapter 9 (now with four whole sentences!). I do understand if you'd
rather not bother with my sporadic updating. Thanks - Spring :)
The END
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