Preliminary Questions
What do you think the purpose of marriage in modern western society is? Is it love, or material concerns?
What do you think is a suitable age to get married? Why?
Is there a gender bias in marriage, in which women are under the control of their husbands?
How are women who never marry normally perceived by others? Is it different for men who never marry? Why is this?
How important is the idea of beauty in modern society? Who is supposed to be seen as beautiful, and why is this?
Why are there are so many jokes about the theme of marriage? What do the following jokes all have in common:
“When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.” (Sacha Guitry)
“There are only about twenty murders a year in London and not all are serious - some are just husbands killing their wives.” (G.H. Hatherhill)
“The ideal marriage consists of a deaf husband and a blind wife.” (Padraig Colum)
“I can't for the life of me understand why people keep insisting that marriage is doomed. All five of mine worked out.” (Peter de Vries)
“The happiest time of anyone's life is just after the first divorce.” (J.K. Galbraith)
“I know nothing about sex because I was always married.” (Zsa Zsa Gabor)
“It has been discovered experimentally that you can draw laughter from an audience anywhere in the world, of any class or race, simply by walking onto a stage, and uttering the words `I am a married man.'” (Ted Kavanagh)
“Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution yet.” (Mae West)
Jane Austen - Pride and Prejudice
It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife. However little known the feelings or views of such a man may be on his first entering a neighbourhood, this truth is so well fixed in the minds of the surrounding families, that he is considered the rightful property of some one or other of their daughters.
"My dear Mr. Bennet," said his lady to him one day, "have you heard that Netherfield Park is let at last?"
Mr. Bennet replied that he had not.
"But it is," returned she; "for Mrs. Long has just been here, and she
told me all about it."
Mr. Bennet made no answer.
"Do you not want to know who has taken it?" cried his wife impatiently.
"_You_ want to tell me, and I have no objection to hearing it."
This was invitation enough.
"Why, my dear, you must know, Mrs. Long says that Netherfield is taken by a young man of large fortune from the north of England; that he came down on Monday in a chaise and four to see the place, and was so much delighted with it, that he agreed with Mr. Morris immediately; that he is to take possession before Michaelmas, and some of his servants are to be in the house by the end of next week."
"What is his name?"
"Bingley."
"Is he married or single?"
"Oh! Single, my dear, to be sure! A single man of large fortune; four or five thousand a year. What a fine thing for our girls!"
"How so? How can it affect them?"
"My dear Mr. Bennet," replied his wife, "how can you be so tiresome! You must know that I am thinking of his marrying one of them."
"Is that his design in settling here?"
"Design! Nonsense, how can you talk so! But it is very likely that he
_may_ fall in love with one of them, and therefore you must visit him as soon as he comes."
"I see no occasion for that. You and the girls may go, or you may send them by themselves, which perhaps will be still better, for as you are as handsome as any of them, Mr. Bingley may like you the best of the party."
"My dear, you flatter me. I certainly _have_ had my share of beauty, but I do not pretend to be anything extraordinary now. When a woman has five grown-up daughters, she ought to give over thinking of her own beauty."
"In such cases, a woman has not often much beauty to think of."
"But, my dear, you must indeed go and see Mr. Bingley when he comes into the neighbourhood."
"It is more than I engage for, I assure you."
"But consider your daughters. Only think what an establishment it would be for one of them. Sir William and Lady Lucas are determined to go, merely on that account, for in general, you know, they visit no newcomers. Indeed you must go, for it will be impossible for _us_ to visit him if you do not."
"You are over-scrupulous, surely. I dare say Mr. Bingley will be very glad to see you; and I will send a few lines by you to assure him of my hearty consent to his marrying whichever he chooses of the girls; though
I must throw in a good word for my little Lizzy."
"I desire you will do no such thing. Lizzy is not a bit better than the others; and I am sure she is not half so handsome as Jane, nor half so good-humoured as Lydia. But you are always giving _her_ the preference."
"They have none of them much to recommend them," replied he; "they are all silly and ignorant like other girls; but Lizzy has something more of quickness than her sisters."
"Mr. Bennet, how _can_ you abuse your own children in such a way? You take delight in vexing me. You have no compassion for my poor nerves."
"You mistake me, my dear. I have a high respect for your nerves. They
are my old friends. I have heard you mention them with consideration these last twenty years at least."
"Ah, you do not know what I suffer."
"But I hope you will get over it, and live to see many young men of four thousand a year come into the neighbourhood."
"It will be no use to us, if twenty such should come, since you will not visit them."
"Depend upon it, my dear, that when there are twenty, I will visit them all."
Mr. Bennet was so odd a mixture of quick parts, sarcastic humour, reserve, and caprice, that the experience of three-and-twenty years had been insufficient to make his wife understand his character. _Her_ mind was less difficult to develop. She was a woman of mean understanding, little information, and uncertain temper. When she was discontented, she fancied herself nervous. The business of her life was to get her daughters married; its solace was visiting and news.
Textual Questions
What language does Mrs Bennett use to describe the men in her society? How does this affect her views on marriage?
Mr Bennett is described as having a “sarcastic” character. What examples can you see of this in the text? Is Austen using this character to make some kind of point about the society she lived in?
How does Austen describe Mrs Bennett, and why do you think she does this?
Which of the daughters is Mr Bennett's favourite, and why is this? Again, is Austen trying to make a point here?
The following is a quote from an earlier novel, Tom Jones by Henry Fielding: “His designs were strictly honourable; that is to rob a lady of her fortune by way of marriage.” What is the difference between this idea and the one we have in Austen's text?
Austen is describing 18th century English society, but look at the following jokes by comedians and writers in the 20th century:
“A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man (Lana Turner).”
“I'd marry again if I found a man who had fifteen million dollars, would sign over half of it to me before the marriage, and guarantee he'd be dead within a year (Bette Davis).”
”Drying a widow's tears is one of the most dangerous occupations known to man (Dorothy Dix).”
“Dammit sir, it is your duty to get married. You can't always be living for pleasure (Oscar Wilde).” Do they explore the same aspects of marriage as Austen does?
Azar Nafisi - Reading Lolita in Tehran
…"It is a truth universally acknowledged that a Muslim man, regardless of his fortune, must be in want of a nine-year-old virgin wife." So declared Yassi in that special tone of hers, deadpan and mildly ironic, which on rare occasions, and this was one of them, bordered on the burlesque. "Or is it a truth universally acknowledged," Manna shot back, "that a Muslim man must be in want not just of one but of many wives?" She glanced at me conspiratorially, her black eyes brimming with humor, knowing she would draw a reaction…It was a tribute to the degree of intimacy that had developed among us that we could easily shift from light banter to serious discussions of the novels. What we had with all the writers, but especially with Austen, was fun. Sometimes we even went wild-we became childish and teasing and just plain enjoyed ourselves. How could one read the opening sentence of Pride and Prejudice and not grasp that this was what Austen demanded of her readers?...
…"But who is thinking about love these days?" said Azin with mock chastity. Her hair was pulled back in a ponytail and clusters of tiny turquoise beads trembled slightly on her ears as she turned her head. "The Islamic Republic has taken us back to Jane Austen's times. God bless the arranged marriage! Nowadays, girls marry either because their families force them, or to get green cards, or to secure financial stability, or for sex-they marry for all kinds of reasons, but rarely for love. "And," Azin continued, reaching for her mug, "we're talking about educated girls-girls like us, who've gone to college, who one might think would have higher ambitions." "Not all of them," Mahshid said quietly, without looking at Azin. "Many women are independent. Look at how many businesswomen we have, and there are women who have chosen to live alone." Yes, and you are one of them, I thought, a studious working girl still living with her parents at thirty-two. "But most don't have a choice," said Manna. "And I think we're way behind Jane Austen's times…
…At the start of the twentieth century, the age of marriage in Iran-nine, according to Sharia laws-was changed to thirteen and then later to eighteen. My mother had chosen whom she wanted to marry and she had been one of the first six women elected to Parliament in 1963. When I was growing up, in the 1960s, there was little difference between my rights and the rights of women in Western democracies. But it was not the fashion then to think that our culture was not compatible with modern democracy, that there were Western and Islamic versions of democracy and human rights. We all wanted opportunities and freedom. That is why we supported revolutionary change-we were demanding more rights, not fewer.
I married, on the eve of the revolution, a man I loved. At that time, Mahshid, Nassrin, Manna and Azin were in their teens, Sanaz and Mitra were a few years younger and Yassi was two years old. By the time my daughter was born five years later, the laws had regressed to what they had been before my grandmother's time: the first law to be repealed, months before the ratification of a new constitution, was the family-protection law, which guaranteed women's rights at home and at work. The age of marriage was lowered to nine-eight and a half lunar years, we were told; adultery and prostitution were to be punished by stoning to death; and women, under law, were considered to have half the worth of men. Sharia law replaced the existing system of jurisprudence and became the norm. My youthful years had witnessed the rise of two women to the rank of cabinet minister. After the revolution, these same two women were sentenced to death for the sins of warring with God and spreading prostitution. One of them, the minister for women's affairs, had been abroad at the time of revolution and remained in exile, where she became a leading spokesperson for women's rights and human rights. The other, the minister of education and my former high school principal, was put in a sack and stoned or shot to death. These girls, my girls, would in time come to think of these women with reverence and hope: if we'd had women like this in the past, there was no reason why we couldn't have them in the future.
Our society was far more advanced than its new rulers, and women, regardless of their religious and ideological beliefs, had come out onto the streets to protest the new laws. They had tasted power and were not about to give it up without a fight. It was then that the myth of Islamic feminism-a contradictory notion, attempting to reconcile the concept of women's rights with the tenets of Islam-took root. It enabled the rulers to have their cake and eat it too: they could claim to be progressive and Islamic, while modern women were denounced as Westernized, decadent and disloyal. They needed us modern men and women to show them the way, but they also had to keep us in our place.
What differentiated this revolution from the other totalitarian revolutions of the twentieth century was that it came in the name of the past: this was both its strength and its weakness. We, four generations of women-my grandmother, my mother, myself and my daughter-lived in the present but also in the past; we were experiencing two different time zones simultaneously. Interesting, I thought, how war and revolution have made us even more aware of our own personal ordeals-especially marriage, at the heart of which was the question of individual freedom, as Jane Austen had discovered two centuries before. She had discovered it, I reflected, but what about us, sitting in this room, in another country at the end of another century?
Textual Questions
Nafisi says that reading Austen we should be childish and teasing. Do you get that feeling, reading Austen's text? In what ways is Nafisi's text the same?
Nafisi sees no difference between Austen's world and modern societies that have “arranged marriages”. Do you know much about this custom in the contemporary world, and why it takes place? How does it relate to marriage in our societies?
Just how independent are women really in modern society, either in the east or western civilisations? How does the society that Nafisi describes relate to our Western, democratic societies in terms of the freedom of women?
Nafisi believes that the theme of “individual freedom” is at the heart of Austen's work. Do you agree, and how can you show it in the text provided here? How does the theme of “individual freedom” relate to the idea of marriage?
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