The Antidote by Jandaco

A Twilight Fan Fiction Story

Summary

I'm TRYING to do something completely out of my element...alternate universe. Picks up at the
end of Twilight. Suppose there was an actual reason for "La Tua Cantante"...Edward becomes
human. Kind of OOC.

we’re picking up in Twilight, directly after Edward sucks James’ venom from Bella.

Antidote-- a substance which can counteract a form of poisoning.

La Tua Cantante—your singer.

Chapter 1.

BPOV

The fire in my hand cooled, bringing me relief… and then a sudden, intense rush of pain, back to

my broken leg.

With great effort my eyes fluttered open, just to find him.

And there he was, in a blur of red and tears, and I willed my hand to reach for him, but it simply

wouldn‘t.

―Don‘t try to move, Bella,‖ I heard Carlisle‘s voice calmly command.

―Carlisle! Carlisle! Edward… He‘s…‖ I heard panic in Alice‘s voice, and my head jerked sharply,

trying to protect him in any way I could, because something was definitely not right.

―Edward? God… Edward?‖ Carlisle was talking much too fast, and my hazy mind couldn‘t keep up,

and the next thing I heard was the sound of a boulder cracking, and the floor next to me trembled.

Then there was nothing.

I woke up in a hospital, casted and bruised and with Edward‘s name on my dry, cracked lips.

―No, baby, I‘m here. Mom‘s here,‖ I heard Renee. Then I saw her, as she was two inches from my

face.

―What… Where is he?‖ I choked out, my heart rate picking up because I just knew if he could be

here, he would be.

―Take it easy, Bella,‖ my mom said, brushing my hair back. ―Edward is fine. He had a few injuries,

but his father insisted he treat him back home.‖

―Injuries?‖ I sputtered, because Edward simply couldn‘t be injured. It was impossible - he was

either dead or alive… Never just injured.

―I didn‘t get specifics, Bella. I‘ve been more concerned with you. You fell down steps? Broke a

window? I just -‖

―Clumsy, mom, remember? I‘ll be fine. I just want to get back to Forks as soon as I can -‖

―Forks? No, I want you here. At least until you make a full recovery. We don‘t need injury on top of

injury.‖

―I‘m going back to Forks.‖

―Is this about your boyfriend? Because, Bella -‖

―Yes. No. I just… Forks is my home now. I‘ll recover faster there, and you and Phil don‘t need

me…‖

―Phil and I want you there -‖

Renee got cut off when Charlie walked in, looking surprised to see me awake.

He came over and awkwardly kissed my forehead.

―You gave us a scare, kid,‖ he said, shoving his hands in his pockets.

―Sorry, dad.‖

A few nurses came in, then a doctor, then a blood draw, and it was determined I‘d be there

another two days.

―When I get out, I want to go home with you, Charlie. To Forks.‖

He kind of beamed at me, obviously happy I thought of Forks as home. Then he caught Renee‘s

glare.

―Can I see you in the hallway?‖ Renee asked him.

―Look, you can battle it out all you want. I‘m going home. And before you conference out in the

hall, could someone hand me the phone?‖

I got away with the attitude, because they were just grateful I was still alive and talking at all. I

took advantage of it.

Charlie gently put the phone at my side, careful of not crossing its wires with my tubes, and they

looked at me expectantly.

―I‘d like some privacy,‖ I said.

―Sure, sure,‖ Charlie said, and then they shuffled out.

I quickly picked up the receiver and dialed Edward‘s cell phone number, wincing at the IV in my

wrist.

Voicemail.

He always answered for me… And especially now… I mean, how could he not answer?

I shook off dark thoughts and dialed Alice‘s number.

―Bella,‖ she answered, before I even heard the ring.

―Alice -‖

―I‘d ask how you are, but I know it‘s only a broken leg and a few bumps and bruises -‖

―Where is he? What happened?‖ I demanded, because Alice was trying to distract me, and I knew

it.

―He‘s here, Bella…‖

―Put him on.‖

―Well, I can‘t right now. He‘s occupied at the moment and -‖

―Alice, this is killing me. What. Is. Going. On?‖

―Bella… I don‘t - we‘re not sure yet. Carlisle is -‖

―Is he alive?‖

―Yes.‖

A relief I didn‘t know I was searching for coursed through me, and my limbs went weak, and my

heart pounded.

―Alice, I‘m coming home in two days… And when I get there, I‘m coming to him.‖

―Of course, Bella. I already know that.‖

―Just… He‘s okay, right? I mean -‖

―You will be fine, Bella,‖ Alice answered, but I could only hear what she didn‘t say.

Edward.

-

The next two days I kept myself busy by relentlessly calling Edward‘s cell phone, which he never

answered.

I harassed Alice, who lightly and not so subtly avoided all my Edward queries.

Finally, I was reduced to sobs on the phone, because my nerves were shot, and because I hadn‘t

heard his voice in far too long, and because I just didn’t know.

Alice sighed heavily and waited for me to finish.

―Okay, Bella, I‘ll be at the airport. I‘ll bring you directly to my house… and… we need to have a talk

on the way.‖

―A talk?‖ I asked tentatively, wanting more information now, but knowing I‘d pushed her enough

already.

―Tomorrow. Rest well, Bella. You‘ll need it.‖

Then she hung up, leaving her cryptic message to bounce in my head and drive me insane.

-

I squirmed in my tiny airplane seat next to Charlie, waiting for the rest of the passengers to exit.

With the crutches, it would be easier for me to just wait until the plane was nearly empty.

―Alice is going to take me to see Edward. She‘ll be waiting for me,‖ I told Charlie, purposely

springing it on him at the last minute so we wouldn‘t have to debate it the whole ride home.

―Bells, do you think that‘s a good idea?‖

―Sure. I feel great, and you‘ve been stuck in Arizona for a few days. I‘m sure you can‘t wait to get
out to La Push and fish, and I‘m sure the station has been missing you. You‘re busy, and I‘m sure

Carlisle won‘t mind looking after me and my injuries for a while.‖

―Okay, okay,‖ he chuckled. ―Geez, Bella, are you okay? You seem awfully tense.‖

―Just anxious to put this whole thing behind me,‖ I said, accepting his hand when he offered it to

help me out of my seat.

Charlie fumbled with the bags in the airport, while I leaned on the crutches and strained my neck,
looking for Alice.

She found me first of course.

―Hi, Charlie,‖ she greeted brightly. ―Don‘t you worry for one second about Bella. She‘ll be fine.
Esme is making her dinner right now, and Carlisle is still off from the hospital, looking after
Edward, so she‘ll be just fine. Now, you take care of yourself, and I promise to have Bella home
soon,‖ Alice rambled, all the while edging me away from Charlie, who looked dazed and confused

by whatever the hell just happened.

―Very smooth,‖ I said dryly, as she whisked me to the parking lot.

―Thank you,‖ she said, shuffling me into the passenger seat.

Once both the doors were slammed, I turned to her.

―Spill it.‖

―Okay, look. I don‘t have many answers -‖

―Tell me everything you know. Where is he?‖

―Home.‖

―Is he okay?‖

She hesitated, and I asked a different question, not quite willing to face the possibility that he

wasn‘t okay.

―Why hasn‘t he called me?‖

―He can‘t.‖

―Why?‖

―Take a deep breath, Bella.‖

I held my breath.

―He‘s sleeping.‖

I didn‘t get it.

Edward doesn‘t sleep… ever.

―Alice, that‘s just… What?‖

―Exactly. He is asleep. Soundly. And he‘s… Well, he‘s different looking.‖

―Different?‖

―Kind of, but barely noticeable. I doubt most humans would notice, but of course you will and -‖

―What do you mean, he looks different? Alice, what the Hell is going on?‖

―Brace yourself. Okay, where to start… Look, the second Edward sucked the venom from your
blood stream, I lost his future. I couldn‘t see him -‖

―Oh, God…‖

―Don‘t panic, Bella. He‘s alive. He‘s here, just -‖

―Go on with it,‖ I said, dazed and not quite sure what the Hell was going on.

―Right. I couldn‘t see his future, and then he just… fell over.‖

Ahh, the boulder crash and trembling floor.

―Why? Why did he -‖

―Stop interrupting if you want to know,‖ Alice sighed, and I watched the speedometer near 100
mph and for once I was glad to be going so fast. ―We brought him home. The whole time he was
completely unconscious, as he is now - which in itself is just impossible - and we just have been
researching and keeping vigil, and Carlisle did everything he could think of, and then… Well, then…

we heard a heartbeat.‖

My own heart stopped for half a second, and I couldn‘t even see, I couldn‘t comprehend her words

and I couldn‘t stop the squeezing in my chest.

―Bella?‖

―I…‖

―I‘ll give you a minute,‖ Alice said.

So we drove in silence, but my mind didn‘t work anyway, so I told her to tell me more.

―Well, the sound got stronger, and then the smell… He started to smell mouthwatering, and Carlisle
recognized it immediately - it‘s Edward‘s human blood. Soon, he got soft, and his cheeks had

actual color, and his hair lost most of the coppery tone - it‘s more of a deep brown now – and -‖

―Are you… What are you saying?‖ I gasped out of my constricting throat.

―I‘m saying he‘s most likely not one of us anymore… He‘s one of you.‖

And because the weight of that was entirely too much to handle, I promptly fainted in the

passenger seat.

Chapter 2.

BPOV

I came to, still in Alice‘s car, only now we were parked in the Cullen garage.

―No more passing out, we‘ve enough to deal with, Bella,‖ Alice said, brushing a lock of my hair

back with one icy finger.

―I just… Alice, it‘s too huge…‖

―One step at a time, Bella. Don‘t think ahead - we can‘t anyway, since we have no idea what we‘re

dealing with.‖

―Not helping,‖ I muttered.

―Well, it is what it is,‖ Alice sighed, and it occurred to me this news was already two days old to
them… And well, to them, nothing was impossible.

I pulled myself together as best I could, which wasn‘t that great, and reached for the door handle.

Alice was at my door in a flash, helping me and my bulky cast out of the car. Then impatience got

the best of her, and she scooped me up and ran us around to the front porch.

Carlisle was there, waiting.

―How are you Bella?‖ he asked, taking in my cast.

―I‘m fine. Carlisle, tell me… Tell me all of it,‖ I said, as Alice lowered me to a sitting position on the

porch. She muttered something about finding Jasper and then she was gone.

Carlisle smiled warmly and sat next to me, then took a deep, unnecessary breath - I‘m sure for my

benefit only.

―Bear in mind, I‘m not certain my theory is correct, Bella… But I think I‘m on the right track,‖ he

began.

I nodded quickly and tried not to think ahead, as Alice advised.

―La Tua Cantante -‖

―What is that?‖

Carlisle chuckled at my tense impatience and put a hand on my shoulder.

―You remember how your blood appealed to Edward, unlike any human had before? Well, our kind
refers to you, or the entire phenomenon, as La Tua Cantante - the singer. Your blood sings to him,
lures him, attracts him fiercely… And until now, we always just assumed it was instinctive
preference, much how humans prefer certain foods and scents to others… But now… now I think
there is a reason for the attraction. I think Edward was so physically drawn to you, because you
are his antidote. What I mean is, something in your blood, your physical makeup, holds the cure to

vampirism for Edward, hence his physical draw to you. His body simply knew he needed it.‖

―I‘m the vampire cure?‖ I gasped.

―No… just for Edward specifically. I think it‘s possible every vampire has one or several singers,
and they hold their antidote… Why? I‘m not sure. Maybe something in the way the DNA mixes…

Perhaps the chromosomes have to be just so… I‘m simply not sure, Bella.‖

―I… Is he… He‘s human?‖

―I‘ll be honest. I have no idea what will happen when he wakes up. Best I can tell, yes. It seems to
be almost an exact reverse process. Much like when his heartbeats began to fade a century ago,
his heartbeats are now becoming stronger. Instead of slowly dying, he is slowly coming to… human

life. His heartbeats are nearly as strong as yours now.‖

His last sentence made my stomach clench.

Edward‘s heart.

―It‘s as if he‘s turning from stone to flesh on the same timetable as flesh to stone,‖ Carlisle

continued.

―Is he in pain?‖

―I assume he is. If so, he‘s handling it well.‖

Carlisle reached over and wiped a tear from my cheek I hadn‘t even realized I cried.

―Will he remember me?‖

― Medically, I can‘t be positive of anything, Bella, but as a man and a friend, I can tell you that
what you and Edward have can transcend even the most impossible situations. It already has.‖

―I need to see him.‖

―Of course.‖

Carlisle had me on my one good foot instantly, and I leaned into him as he helped me hobble

through the door, leaving my disregarded crutches on the porch.

My one good leg was Jell-O, and my body trembled as Carlisle swept me through the house.

Leather bound books and paper print outs were scattered everywhere, several laptops open on

counters and end tables - they were serious about the major research.

Carlisle paused at the doorway to the living room and cocked his head.

―Stronger still,‖ he murmured, and I assumed he meant Edward‘s heart.

We walked into the room, and the first thing I saw was Rosalie, still as a statue, glaring fiercely at

the couch, which had been turned so it‘s back was to me.

He was there. I knew it.

Emmett put a hand on Rosalie‘s shoulder, and she shrugged it off, but didn‘t break her glare.

―Always him,‖ she hissed under her breath.

Her expression was terrifying, anger mixed with resent and jealousy.

I trembled a bit, and Carlisle gestured to Emmett to get Rosalie out of there.

I was grateful when he did.

―Bella?‖ I heard Esme‘s warm voice behind me, and then she was in front of me, putting one arm
around me, balancing a small porcelain basin in her free hand. ―I‘m so glad you‘re home and safe,‖

she breathed, taking a step back.

―Would you like to help?‖ she asked, slightly raising the basin.

―Of course… I - what do you need help with?‖

―He is so warm -‖

She stopped short when my expression did something that was apparently shocking.

I couldn‘t comprehend Edward being warm.

―I‘ve just been trying to keep him cool, so…‖

―I… God. Of course,‖ I stammered, slightly shaking my head.

It was all too surreal.

―Come on, Bella. Come with me,‖ Esme said, wrapping a steel arm around my waist and moving

me forward.

My eyes closed, and I thought I was going to throw up.

My limbs tingled and loosened, my head spun, and I felt Esme lower me so I was sitting on the

ground.

―Open your eyes, Bella,‖ Esme said lightly, and I did.

My hand clapped over my mouth, and warm tears poured from me, and I couldn‘t suck in enough

breath.

―Easy, Bella,‖ Carlisle murmured over me, but I couldn‘t, because Edward was right in front of me.

My body leaned in closer to him, and he didn‘t smell sweet and cool; he smelled warm and musky.

And his face.

There was a slight sheen of actual sweat on his forehead and cheeks, which were flushed - feverish

and pink – with creases and lines where marble once was.

I leaned back a bit to take him all in. Then I was shocked that he was still as… beautiful.

His lips were still full and now soft, and I was struck by how deeply red they were, compared to the

last time I saw him.

My eyes traveled up to his disarrayed hair, which was standing all over, matted with sweat. There

were still red undertones, only more subtle now.

Then my eyes trailed the rest of him.

They‘d taken off his shirt, and I stared at his chest, which was breathing in necessary breaths… As
if that alone wasn‘t enough, I saw how contoured and sharp he still seemed, only now it was flesh

covering muscle and bone.

And the flesh.

His skin was now darker than mine.

I was paler than Edward.

I rolled that around in my mind, along with a thousand other, incoherent thoughts, until Esme took

my hand and placed a damp wash cloth in it.

―Go ahead, Bella,‖ she urged softly.

My hand clenched around the cloth.

Touch him.

Feel him warm and soft under my fingers.

I‘d never even let myself imagine the possibility before.

My hand hovered over his face, which was perfect and calm and asleep.

I stared for a minute, for the first time fully understanding his obsession with watching me sleep.

I let the cloth touch his forehead, worrying about his pain.

His body jerked at the touch, and I snatched my hand away and looked up at Carlisle, panicked

and wide-eyed.

―It‘s okay, Bella. He just had a normal reaction… Go ahead.‖

I dropped the cloth back in the basin. Screw it, I wanted to feel him.

I let my fingertips graze the very soft, warm skin of his closed eyelids, and his head slightly turned

into my touch, while I gasped at the incredibility of it all.

Warm.

So warm I could wrap myself up in his limp arms and stay there forever with no quilt or burning

thirst between us.

My tears silently poured on, as I let my fingers softly trace his very human, clammy flesh.

―We‘ve been talking to him, just idle chatter, just to let him know we‘re here…‖ Esme whispered

behind me.

―Do you - can he hear?‖ I stammered through my thick throat.

―I like to think he can,‖ Esme said, patting my back, and then I was vaguely aware that she and
Carlisle had left the room, leaving us in this moment.

I let my fingers go to his lips, then pressed ever so slightly.

Soft.

My trembling fingers stayed put on his lips, and they slightly parted, and I felt his warm, heavy

breath on my skin.

―Oh,‖ my mouth let out in awed shock.

I sat like that, my eyes and fingers glued to him, for what could have been minutes or hours; I
couldn‘t be sure.

I rambled about my broken leg and about hospital food and about everything except this.

I told him I loved him and I told him I knew he loved me too.

I hummed horribly out of tune and I sat quietly and I asked him if it hurt.

I waited.

I‘d wait right here for as long as he needed me to… but as it turned out, it wasn‘t much longer.

His eyelids fluttered, and a low, guttural sound came from him.

I snatched my hand away and froze.

I tried to call out for Carlisle, but my voice wouldn‘t come.

I was tight and hypnotized, just staring at him with no breath left in my lungs at all.

His chest heaved heavily, and he sighed out, and the muscles in his stomach tensed, and then he

was looking at me.

Green.

They were green.

And right in that second, that was the only thing I could think.

Edward‘s eyes were a deep, rich, beautiful shade of green.

Not topaz or black or anything in between.

Green.

―You‘re gorgeous,‖ I whispered without even realizing it.

He blinked at me, and then one of his hands slowly went to his forehead. Then he bought it back to
his eyes.

He saw the sweat, and his green eyes widened, his hand shaking in front of his face.

―Carlisle,‖ I said quietly, knowing he would hear.

Edward‘s head snapped in my direction, and for the first time… he looked utterly lost.

My heart pinched.

―Edward, just don‘t move -‖

―Bella.‖

I let out a ridiculous mewling sound… because he knew me. Because his voice was there, but

different.

Deeper, more gravelly and masculine and tired.

―Bella,‖ he said again, maybe just to hear his own voice, or maybe because he just needed me.

Carlisle and Esme were there before I could respond to him.

Carlisle knelt down next to me, closer to Edward, and the room was silent while Carlisle listened to

his heart, and Esme wringed her hands nervously.

―Edward, do you know who I am?‖

―Carlisle.‖

There was a collective gasp at the sound of his voice.

―My boy…‖ Carlisle murmured under his breath in awe.

―He‘s stunning,‖ Esme said, taking another step closer.

I watched Edward‘s fists clench and unclench, and he drew a deep breath.

―I‘m breathing,‖ he said, staring at me.

―You need to,‖ Carlisle chuckled.

Edward froze.

―You‘re human,‖ Carlisle said.

Chapter 3.

BPOV

Edward‘s head raised half an inch from the couch, and his eyes stayed on mine.

Carlisle and Esme went completely still, and it wasn‘t lost on me that this time Edward and I were

both trembling.

His head cocked to the side, and his eyes narrowed in what seemed to be concentration. Then his

head slowly raised to look at Carlisle.

―I can‘t hear you,‖ he whispered to him, his eyes wide with confusion.

―I suppose you can‘t,‖ Carlisle said. ―I assume most humans aren‘t mind readers.‖

―Human?‖

I watched, as he ran his tongue over his teeth, and his eyes closed.

He breathed deeply and let out a sharp exhale.

―Good… That feels so good,‖ he mumbled before taking another deep breath, and I heard Esme let

out a small, relieved laugh.

Edward‘s eyes snapped open, and he looked at Esme. His eyes narrowed again in concentration.

―It‘s so quiet,‖ he mused, then lifted his hand to his face again and flexed his fingers. ―Jesus…‖

―It‘s remarkable,‖ Carlisle said, leaning over to touch Edward‘s cheek.

He flinched at the cold, and Carlisle chuckled.

―How?‖ Edward asked, sharp and sudden, struggling to lean up on his elbows.

Carlisle put a hand on his back, and Edward sat up and poked his chest.

―Flesh…‖ he uttered.

Carlisle launched into his theory, and I couldn‘t even pay attention. I was focused on his human

form, which was breathing and twitching and startling in its magnificence… still.

―Wait,‖ Edward said through gritted teeth, ―I can‘t - you‘re talking too fast.‖

He looked agitated and worried.

―Sorry,‖ Carlisle said. ―I guess we‘re all going to have to adjust.‖

He continued, and Edward‘s eyes found mine.

―Don‘t cry, Bella. Please don‘t cry,‖ Edward said, cutting Carlisle off.

I hadn‘t realized I was still crying.

His hand reached out to me, and I quickly snatched it from my spot on the floor.

He gasped.

―Sorry. I didn‘t mean to -‖

―No… no, it‘s… it‘s… amazing,‖ he said, his eyes on our locked hands.

―Edward, what exactly do you feel?‖ Carlisle asked intently.

―Warm… Alive…” he trailed off, shaking his head.

―What do you remember?‖ Carlisle asked.

―All of it…‖ Edward said. ―All of it.‖

―You remember the past hundred years?‖

―I think? I… Oh, God, mom. My mother,‖ he choked out, and his hand squeezed mine.

―Your mother? Esme or -‖

―Elizabeth. Mom.‖

His hand pulled from mine, and his fists balled up and pressed into his eyes.

He slowly bent over, and the muscles in his back shuddered, and my heart broke.

―You remember Elizabeth…‖

―Vividly,‖ Edward choked out, raspy and deep. ―Like yesterday… Mom…‖

―Impossible…‖ Esme murmured.

―Edward, a human brain can only hold so much information and -‖

―I remember,‖ Edward said, raising his head from his hands.

His eyes were red rimmed and deep, and I jerked at the possibility of him crying.

I held my hand out to Carlisle, and he helped me up and onto the couch.

Immediately, warm arms encircled me tightly, but not as tight as I had ever known, and his breath

was hot and hard on my neck, as he fought back whatever he was feeling for his mother.

I held on tightly to him and pressed my nails into the flesh on his back… because I simply couldn‘t

help myself.

Edward pulled back, but took my hand with him and shook his head.

―It‘s normal, Edward,‖ Esme said. ―You never had a chance to properly grieve your mother.‖

His eyes closed, and he swallowed hard, but didn‘t respond to her.

―What does this mean?‖ he asked, not opening his eyes and changing the subject.

―It means… I suppose it means whatever you want it to mean. But, Edward, this is huge for our

kind -‖

―I don‘t care about our kind right now. I just want to… It‘s like I can‘t wrap my mind around it…‖

And immediately, I understood how lost and confused he must be, because as if becoming human
weren‘t insane enough, his entire world was about to be turned upside down, and he had no idea
how or why.

His thought processes weren‘t the same, his hearing, his vision - all of him was different.

Carlisle went to the fireplace and came back in a blur, then held out the iron fire poker to Edward.

I watched, as he wrapped his fist around it, then snapped off the tip. Then he held his palm open

and showed a small pile of dark powder that was just pure iron a second ago.

―Try,‖ Carlisle said, handing the broken poker to Edward.

Edward took the poker and wrapped his fist around it.

His red lips pursed, and his eyebrows furrowed.

―I. Can‘t,‖ he said shortly, before thrusting the poker back at Carlisle.

―Okay. It‘s okay, Edward,‖ Carlisle said.

Edward kind of nodded and sagged back on the couch.

―It‘s like… a one track mind and so quiet,‖ Edward murmured. ―But somehow… familiar?‖

―It‘s how a human mind works, Edward, and I suppose it would be familiar as you do remember

being human -‖

―Where is everyone?‖

―Alice is with Jasper. He‘s had a difficult time the past few days being in the house. Rosalie is -‖

―Angry and jealous,‖ Edward cut in, still knowing his sister all too well.

―Well, yes,‖ Carlisle said.

―Where will I go?‖ Edward whispered, his eyes searching Carlisle‘s face, and right then all I could

see was a very beautiful, very lost seventeen-year-old.

―Go? You won‘t go anywhere, Edward,‖ Esme said quickly. ―Of course you‘ll stay with us. We‘re still

your family.‖

―I can‘t… I can‘t stay here and make Jasper‘s life Hell… And, Esme, I‘m going to age. I won‘t
possibly be able to keep up… And what - I‘m going to take over the role of adoptive father in a few

years?‖

―We‘ll do what we have to,‖ Carlisle said. ―Our biggest challenge isn‘t going to be Jasper or the

human charade, it‘s going to be the Volturi.‖

―What‘s a Volturi?‖ I asked.

Edward‘s shoulders tensed, and he tightened his grip on my hand.

―The Volturi are the closest thing we have to a Royal Family, I suppose,‖ Carlisle started. ―You
remember seeing the pictures in my study? Well, the Volturi will be very interested in this, to say

the very least. Edward, you have to stay put here, until we figure out exactly how to deal with this.
It could very well lead to bloodlust, mass killings of innocent people -‖

―How?‖ I asked.

―If vampires go in search of their singers, they‘ll kill them with no regard for life, easily. And not
only that, they‘ll take anyone who they think smells remotely good. Plus, our race in general would
be threatened - something the Volturi would not like. Also, Edward is now human… He is a human
who knows everything about the vampire secret world. He‘s the biggest threat the Volturi have

ever known…‖

―They‘ll -‖

―They‘ll kill me,‖ Edward cut me off dryly.

―Change him back!‖I sputtered. ―Now. Right now.‖

―Bella, it simply can‘t work like that,‖ Carlisle said, shaking his head. ―A body, even a vampire
body, can only go through so much… The physiological change is so intense… Frankly, I‘m a bit

surprised he survived through two changes of such extreme -‖

―But he‘ll age! They‘ll find out -‖

―Like I said, we have to figure this out carefully,‖ Carlisle said, putting an arm around Esme, whose

topaz eyes were full of fear for her son.

Trembling took over my body, and I could hear my teeth chatter.

It wasn‘t supposed to be like this.

Edward was supposed to survive this, not me… And I couldn‘t bear the situation being reversed.

Edward was watching me squirm and tremble in fear, then looked up at Esme and Carlisle.

―I‘m very… tired… God, that sounds insane.‖

―Of course, of course,‖ Esme said. ―Don‘t worry about anything just now, Edward. Rest.‖

Carlisle reached out to help me up, and as his icy hand touched mine, Edward‘s warm hand was on

my arm, and I reveled in the fact that a shock of tingle still radiated through me at his touch.

―Stay,‖ he said in his new, deeper voice.

Carlisle and Esme exchanged a knowing look and smiled at us, while I turned red.

They were gone in the same instant, and I turned back to Edward, drinking in all of the minute
changes.

―I‘m still me,‖ he said slowly. ―The physical things may have changed, but my core is still the
same,‖ he said, looking intently at me.

I nodded, not quite sure what he was getting at.

―I… I probably won‘t be able to stop a van from crushing you with my hands anymore, but, Bella,

that would never stop me from trying. I mean, I understand if -‖

―Wait. What are you getting at?‖

―I‘m trying to say that I‘ll still always love you. You‘re still my world, but if I‘m not who you love
anymore -‖

―Stop. First you say I can‘t love you because you‘re a vampire and now you think I loved you only
because you were a vampire? A little credit, please.‖

―Sorry. I just… If I‘m this confused, I can only imagine what you must be going through.‖

Still more concerned about me.

He truly hadn‘t changed at all.

―Edward, I don‘t prefer vampire and I don‘t prefer human. I only prefer you.‖

He nodded, and I continued.

―But… if your life is in danger because of these Volturi -‖

―Shh. I don‘t want to think of that now,‖ he said, closing the subject.

―Are you… happy?‖ I asked.

―I‘m… I think? Yes. Yes, I mean… this is the miracle I‘ve always longed for, especially since I met

you…‖

―Can I…‖ I trailed off, hovering one hand over his chest.

He looked at me curiously, and I proceeded to lay my hand on his warm chest, directly over his

beating heart.

I felt the faint thrum, and a shiver of exuberance ran through me, while he sat very still and stared

at my hand.

―Can you feel it?‖ he whispered.

―I can.‖

And then his lips turned up, very slowly, into a stunning awed smile, and a gush of air came from

his lips.

His hand went to my throat, soft and warm, and his thumb made a circle.

―There‘s no pain,‖ he said, leaning in so his face was closer to my neck. ―There is no thirst… only a

different kind of burn…‖

My breath caught, and for the first time, I felt his soft, warm lips on the side of my neck, then his

tongue.

A squeak came from me, and I put my hands in his hair.

―You still taste good…‖ he murmured into my skin.

―Edward… kiss me,‖ I panted, squirming in anticipation, the threats forgotten and the possibilities

now shining and endless.

His head raised from my neck, and he grinned his crooked grin, before taking my face in his hands.

―And I don‘t even have to be careful…‖ he mused, his eyes wide with wonder, and I felt his hands
press harder into my face.

His eyes grew wide and fell downcast to his lap.

―Oh, God,‖ he sighed out. ―This I remember…‖

―Wait, you didn‘t, like… get, er… hard before, as a vampire?‖

―I was always hard everywhere,‖ he said, his eyes still on his lap.

―So are you, like…‖

―It feels…‖ His face contorted into something glorious, and his hips shifted.

Not being able to wait anymore, I leaned in with reckless abandon and crushed my lips to his,

amazed at the flesh on flesh and the warmth.

His hands tangled in my hair, and my stomach dropped, because this was the point I was so used

to him pulling away at… but he didn‘t.

He roughly pulled me closer, and I felt his lips turn up into a smile, just before they parted.

I let the tip of my tongue slip between his lips, and he responded with his own, warm and soft but
somehow demanding, and just too finally taste him was too much, and I moaned… He quickly

pulled away.

―Sorry… I got… It was just all good and no pain and better than I thought -‖

―The noise was a good thing,‖ I said, putting a finger to his lips. ―I want… more…‖

―Bella, it‘s so much better,‖ he whispered. ―Better than I would‘ve ever thought…‖

―More,‖ I said again, much preferring to discuss it later.

―Later.‖ Alice‘s tinkling and, right now, annoying voice came from nowhere.

Edward looked up, startled.

―I didn‘t even hear you,‖ he said.

She was at the couch in a blur and bent over to throw her arms around his neck.

―Ow - ouch,‖ he kind of growled out.

Alice pulled back and bit her lip.

―Sorry. I‘m gonna have to get used to handling you with human-gloves,‖ she said. ―That will

probably bruise.‖

―Bruise…‖ Edward said, turning his face to look at his red shoulder. He stared for a moment in

wonder, then turned back to Alice.

―I want details about this whole thing… later,‖ he said, throwing a cautious glance at me, still trying

to protect me.

―Okay,‖ Alice said, holding up two white, plastic bags, ―but first human provisions.‖

―What?‖

She overturned both bags on the coffee table.

Toothbrushes, toothpaste, deodorant, razors, aftershave, toilet paper, shampoo, soap, nail

clippers… even chap stick.

Edward looked from me to the items and back to me, then at the small drugstore on the table

again, and sighed.

―I suppose it‘s… necessary,‖ he said.

Alice clapped and set about opening the packages.

Edward took my hand, and we watched Alice, until a gurgle came from Edward.

Alice and I both looked at him, immediately.

―I think I‘m… hungry.‖

Chapter 4.

BPOV

―You want to eat?‖ I asked eagerly. This I could help him with.

―I think I do… a lot,‖ he said.

―I forgot about food,‖ Alice said, her shoulders sagging. ―How could I forget food?‖

Esme was there in a flash, also eager to wait on him, to do actual motherly acts for her very

human son.

―We have nothing here; Bella‘s been in Arizona. I‘ll run to the store, or -‖

―We can order a pizza,‖ Alice said. ―I see it on television all the time.‖

―Pizza?‖ Edward mumbled.

―Well, what did you like to eat before?‖ Esme asked gently.

―Apples… Pasta… My mom used to make - I don‘t know,‖ he cut himself off quickly. ―What do you

want to eat, Bella?‖

―Oh! Oh, um… Well, you know what I like and -‖

―Bella, we can go out to eat. And both eat,‖ he said in revelation.

―I guess we can,‖ I beamed, though I never really thought I was missing out much on things like

that.

He smiled brightly at me, and then a booming laugh echoed in the room.

Emmett was crouching in front of Edward, staring at him, before I could even register he was

there.

―Look at you,‖ he said. ―You‘re… a kid.‖

―Get out of my face,‖ Edward said.

―You smell good,‖ Emmett said, raising his eyebrows.

―Somehow, I don‘t feel threatened.‖

Instantly, Edward was on his feet and in an Emmett enforced headlock; he never saw it coming

and he certainly didn‘t hear it in Emmett‘s thoughts.

I cringed. It didn‘t look like Emmett was being careful enough… If, for one second, any of the

Cullens slipped, so used to being able to handle him with vampire force…

―Hah. It‘s too easy. You really can‘t hear me anymore,‖ Emmett laughed.

―Let. Go,‖ Edward said.

―Two words, little human brother. Pay. Backs.‖

―Enough,‖ Esme cut in, looking as worried as I felt.

Emmett released Edward, and Esme gave him the motherly ‗are you okay‘ once over.

Emmett sniffed the air and looked at Edward.

―I take it back about smelling good. You smell like Yorkie after gym class. Body odor.‖

―Do I really stink?‖ Edward turned to ask me.

―No,‖ I said. I thought he smelled delicious.

―She‘s biased. You‘ve been laying in your own sweat for three days. You stink,‖ Emmett said.

Alice grinned and shoved a bar of soap, some deodorant and a toothbrush at him.

―Take a shower,‖ she said enthusiastically.

He kind of nodded and threw an anxious glance at me, as he walked to the the staircase, and it
occurred to me his gracefulness was still intact… which could only mean that even as a human,

Edward was still… Edward.

Graceful and confident and smooth and perfect.

Edward paused and looked up at the looming staircase.

―Run…‖ was all he said, but I watched him walk up the stairs slowly.

―He misses it already,‖ Emmett said, and my chest tightened.

―Shhh,‖ Esme said.

―Why? He can‘t hear me,‖ Emmett said.

―Bella can,‖ Alice reminded him.

―So? I‘m sure he‘s gonna love being human for other reasons, but Hell, how would you not miss

the power?‖

―Edward never saw it as power,‖ Esme mused.

Emmett shrugged, and Alice tapped her foot.

―Where‘s Jasper?‖ I asked.

―He‘s out hunting. We thought it would be best if he came back a bit satisfied.‖

―He‘s in pain, isn‘t he?‖

―Yes. But… he won‘t hurt Edward. I‘ve been watching. And I‘m hoping the longer he‘s around

Edward, the easier it will get.‖

I nodded, unsure.

―Where‘s Rosalie?‖ I asked Emmett.

―Making plans,‖ Emmett said.

―Plans?‖

―To find her singer.‖

―Oh. Oh! She wants to be -‖

―More than anything,‖ Emmett said, and I noted the good humor in his voice was gone, so I let it

go.

We waited for what seemed like a very long time, but I suppose any amount of time would have

seemed like forever.

I missed him already and I was used to Edward being insanely fast at everything.

Eventually, he did saunter back downstairs.

His wet hair looked nearly black in a dripping disarray, and his skin was flushed deep from the hot
shower.

I struggled to get up, and Alice and Emmett each took a hand to help me before Edward could take
two steps in my direction.

I watched a scowl flash over his face, before he made it over to me.

―I got her,‖ he said, taking my hand from Alice‘s.

Emmett let my other hand go, and my full weight was on Edward.

―You‘re a lot heavier,‖ he smirked playfully.

―Just what every girl wants to hear,‖ I said.

Carlisle walked in the room and beamed at Edward.

―You‘re doing just fine,‖ he said like a proud, new father.

―Where are we going to eat?‖ Alice asked.

―We? I just… I want to be alone for a while,‖ Edward said softly.

―But… but… I want to watch you eat,‖ Alice said.

―He‘s not a toddler starting solids, Alice,‖ Carlisle said.

―But he kind of is,‖ Alice said.

Edward sneered and sniffed the air, then sighed.

―Where are my keys?‖ he asked flatly, obviously unable to sniff them out.

―Do you think you should drive?‖ Esme asked.

―I remember how to drive,‖ Edward said, and I sensed his impatience and annoyance growing.

―I know, but, Edward, you only just woke -‖

―Much like turning into a vampire, I think turning human is instantaneous, Esme,‖ Carlisle said. ―He
seems to be strong, and just as extreme thirst is part of a newborn vampire, I‘m sure extreme

hunger is a part of becoming human. Let the boy go eat, already.‖

―Oh! Of course, you must be starving. Go. Please… wear a seatbelt and mind the speed limit,‖

Esme said.

Edward grimaced.

Mortality was something he hadn‘t worried about in over a hundred years.

―They‘re going to suffocate me,‖ Edward muttered as soon as we were out the door, his arm

wrapped tightly around my waist.

―They love you. They just want you to be safe,‖ I said, silently a little smug he was now on my side

of the fence. ―Do you want me to drive?‖

Then I heard his laugh and I couldn‘t even be insulted, because I was mesmerized by the deep,

raspy rumble that made me smile too.

Edward got me into the car at a human pace, and I actually got my seatbelt on before he was in

the driver‘s seat.

―Where to?‖ he asked, pulling out.

―Anywhere,‖ I said. ―So, is it crazy or -‖

―I just… I can‘t really wrap my mind around it yet, Bella. So let‘s just…‖

―Okay. What are you in the mood for? Mountain lion?‖

He gave me a limp smile that didn‘t reach his eyes, and I tried to tell myself I didn‘t see wistfulness

in his face.

―I don‘t know… Suddenly, I‘m absolutely famished,‖ Edward said, pulling out to the highway.

―We‘ll get something quick… I mean, you haven‘t eaten in a hundred years, so…‖

He laughed lightly and took my hand in his warm one.

I watched him stare out of the windshield and wondered when he would be able to talk about… all

of this.

Then the car in front of us stopped short, and Edward‘s arm shot out protectively in front of me, as

he slammed on the break.

―God,‖ he said, between hard breaths. ―Are you okay?‖

―I‘m fine,‖ I shrugged.

―That was - I can usually hear the thoughts of the drivers around me, up in front of me… I can‘t

believe I just -‖

―Edward, it‘s fine. A perfectly normal, human occurrence.‖

―I think I feel adrenaline… I like it.‖

―Oh, God,‖ I sighed under my breath.

It occurred to me that the running, the fast driving… Even as a human, Edward had always been a

thrillseeker.

Edward got off at the next ramp. We weren‘t even in Port Angeles yet.

―There‘s really nothing around here,‖ I said.

―But there is,‖ he said, then pulled into the drive thru line at Taco Bell.

―Really? Taco Bell?‖

―Don‘t you like tacos?‖

―Sure, I just thought you‘d prefer filet mignon or something.‖

―I‘m curious about tacos - rather fast food in general. Never had it.‖ He shrugged.

―I guess you haven‘t,‖ I said.

There were several cars ahead of us, and I took off my seatbelt and turned in my seat so I could

properly stare at him, so I could try to get past the surreal spin in my head.

―It‘s odd, how it feels surreal to have a human boyfriend,‖ I mused.

―It‘s surreal to be a human boyfriend,‖ he grinned. ―Is it always like this?‖

―Like what?‖

―Well, before… I was able to concentrate on many things at once, and now my only focus is… It‘s
like… I‘ve heard the thoughts of male teenagers for years and I never understood how… hormones

could overrule anything. I should be concerned about a thousand other things, but -‖

―It‘s always like that for me,‖ I said, cutting him off quickly, before he could talk himself out of

being turned on.

―Really?‖

―Well, only when I‘m with you,‖ I said, looking down at my knees.

He used one finger to raise my chin and cocked his head to the side.

―I want to kiss you again,‖ he said.

―Edward, you don‘t have to ask permission to kiss me,‖ I said, leaning in.

His open mouth was on mine instantly, and his hand tangled in the hair at the back of my head,

pulling me closer.

I grabbed at his collar, because it still wasn‘t close enough, and then, without ever leaving his
mouth, I got to my knees, and he let out a warm breath into my mouth, then kissed down my
throat, using his lips and his tongue.

―I can‘t stop,‖ he panted into my skin.

―Then don‘t,‖ I said, yanking his face back up so I could see him, as I hovered above him.

His hips shifted in the seat, and he tugged on the ends of my hair lightly, before pressing his lips
back to mine.

―God… I gotta… I gotta have you,‖ he said between his heavy kisses.

―Have me,‖ I said, and his hands wrapped around my hips and yanked me closer.

Then a horn behind us honked.

Edward startled, as he didn‘t hear the impatient thoughts of the driver behind him, or the car

ahead of us pull up.

I landed with a thud back in my seat, and Edward started laughing his new, deep laugh.

―This is not funny,‖ I said.

―It‘s… amazing. That‘s what it is,‖ he said. ―Do you realize I just made out in a drive thru line?‖

I smiled, while he marveled.

Then I gasped, while he proceeded to order every single item on the menu.

―What are you doing?‖ I asked minutes later, when he was done.

―I don‘t know what I‘ll like. And… I‘m starving.‖

Somehow, that made sense.

―Bloodlust,‖ he murmured under his breath, while we waited.

―What?‖

―Like bloodlust,‖ he said, turning to me. ―When I was a newborn vampire, everything was extreme.
I was constantly thirsty, the thoughts of others were loud and constant, I was the strongest I‘ve
ever been - everything was magnified… And I think it‘s much the same with becoming human.

Extreme hunger, extreme… hormones, extremely tired.‖

―I guess that makes sense,‖ I said.

He nodded, and we got our food.

―I guess we should go back to your house,‖ I said. ―Alice wants to watch, and I won‘t let you eat if

we‘re alone.‖

―Really? Because the food can wait -‖

―No, because you need it.‖

―I need you too. I think even more than food.‖

I rather liked this Edward.

For once, I wasn‘t the pursuer of all things sex… Well, okay, I was, but I had to remind myself one

of us had to look out for his health, and at this point, that someone would have to be me.

Besides, once he‘d eaten, there would be nothing stopping us…

Nothing.

I certainly wasn‘t going to be the hold out, and Edward was eager in ways I never thought would

be possible.

Nothing stopping us.

My heart started to race, and I supposed if this had started off as a normal relationship, I might be

more hesitant… but it didn‘t.

Edward was the love of my existence, and by some miracle, we were being offered the chance we
never thought we‘d have, and I knew there would never be anyone else for me, so I would give

myself to him, and he would give himself to me, just as it should be.

―Ready?‖ Edward said, revving the engine, before pulling out.

―I am,‖ I said.

Chapter 5.

BPOV

Edward tossed a gordita toward the pile of other disregarded, assorted mexican.

―I don‘t like that one,‖ he said, moving on to a chalupa.

―I don‘t understand how you can‘t like that one, but you can like a chalupa,‖ Alice said, her
fascinated eyes on Edward. ―I mean, this Taco Bell has all these items, but it‘s just the same

ingredients, tossed together differently.‖

―You know, Alice,‖ I cut in, ―that is a mystery even humans can‘t figure out.‖

Edward shrugged and took a huge bite of the chalupa.

Alice, Esme, Carlisle and I watched, as he chewed and swallowed, picked up his Pepsi, took a long
sip, then got back to the chalupa.

―God, you eat a lot,‖ Alice said, leaning over the table directly opposite of him.

―He‘s a seventeen year old boy,‖ Esme said defensively. ―They eat a lot.‖

―There‘s that, and remember, like a newborn vampire, his appetite is probably insatiable,‖ Carlisle

said.

Edward stared forward and kept chewing.

Emmett and Rosalie walked in, and he sauntered over, while she stopped dead in her tracks,

staring at Edward.

―That smells awful,‖ Emmett said, poking a disregarded, soft taco… Edward preferred crunchy.

I watched Rosalie‘s perfect mouth pucker, and her arms crossed her chest.

―Rosalie, come in. Come join us,‖ Esme said, reaching an arm out.

Rosalie stayed put.

―Is he healthy?‖ she asked Carlisle, ignoring the fact that Edward was even there.

―Best we can tell, yes,‖ Carlisle said.

She nodded and continued to watch him, while he continued to ignore her.

When the food was consumed or cast aside, Edward scooted his chair back, and Rosalie was
instantly in front of him.

The room went silent, and Edward stood up, so they were face to face, barely three inches apart.

I was impressed at how not intimidated he was by her.

His jaw locked, and he raised one eyebrow and held his ground.

Rosalie‘s eyes narrowed in concentration, as she pored over his face. Then she lifted her fingers to

his face.

He didn‘t flinch or back away from her touch, and I silently begged him to, because for a second, I
thought she was going to snap his jaw.

―Is it the same? Is it just like before?‖ she whispered.

―It is,‖ he said.

―What about reproductive organs?‖ she asked seriously.

Edward jerked his head away from her hand, but he didn‘t move other than that.

Carlisle took a step forward.

―Rosalie, I‘m assuming that because all of his other internal functions are normal, that would be
normal too. His lungs, heart, kidneys - it‘s all working how it‘s supposed to. Obviously, I haven‘t

taken a semen sample yet -‖

I died.

―Jesus,‖ Edward uttered, brushing past Rosalie.

―Edward, it was a valid question,‖ Carlisle said. ―It‘s vital to find out all we can about this. Not just

for vampirism in general, but for your personal benefit as well.‖

―I will help you, Carlisle, but I won‘t be a lab rat,‖ Edward said.

―Of course not, Edward. I would never even imply such a thing. You‘re still my son above anything

else.‖

Rosalie turned to Emmett sharply.

―I‘m doing it,‖ she said, determination blazing like fire in her topaz eyes.

―Not this again,‖ Emmett sighed. ―Rose, we don‘t even know -‖

―I‘ll start the search tonight. Come with me,‖ she said.

―Rosalie, that‘s just… On the off chance that one of us finds a singer, there is no way we both will.

Not within the same decade anyway.‖

―You know this is what I‘ve always wanted! You knew it before the very first time I married you!‖

―I never thought this was a possibility, Rosalie!‖ Emmett boomed, making the table shudder and

my ears split.

―I have to try,‖ she said.

―And what? Be human? Marry some human guy and have his human babies?‖

―It will be you, Emmett. I told you we‘d find -‖

―We won‘t. And hypothetically, let‘s say I find mine, and you don‘t find yours… Then what?‖

―Then you turn human and wait for me.‖

―And what if it takes you eighty years? I‘ll be dead. You‘re not even thinking this through and,

Rosalie, you‘re going to kill someone.‖

―I will try very hard to spare the life of my singer,‖ Rosalie said. ―Edward did it.‖

―You know, you‘re acting like one of the vampires Carlisle was worried about, searching for your

singer -‖

―I start tonight,‖ Rosalie said, then she was gone.

―Thank you so much,‖ Emmett said to Edward, then went after Rosalie.

―Let‘s get out of here,‖ Edward said, turning back to me.

He suddenly looked very tired.

―Maybe you should -‖ Esme started, but then cut herself off. ―Oh, Jasper,‖ she said.

I froze.

I liked Jasper a lot.

I did.

But if he was struggling with trying to kill my boyfriend, I‘d rather avoid him.

―Everything will be fine,‖ Alice said, getting up from her chair at the exact time Jasper walked in.

Edward smiled at him, and Jasper smiled cautiously back, still as a stone. He wasn‘t breathing at
all.

―Amazing,‖ Jasper said, his eyes locked on Edward as Alice linked an arm through his. ―The

possibilities are…‖

―Too much to think of right now,‖ Edward said.

―I understand,‖ Jasper said, and of course he really did.

He could feel Edward‘s overwhelming confusion, I‘m sure.

―I‘m sure you can understand my need to… stay away,‖ Jasper said.

―Of course. And I hope you know that I‘ll do anything I can to make this easier. Say the word, and

I‘ll leave, Jasper.‖

―Let‘s not be hasty,‖ Esme said. ―I don‘t want anyone feeling like they don‘t belong in this family

anymore.‖

I could see she was torn.

One son confused and lost, and she‘d never abandon him… The other son in constant pain and

frustration…

It was quiet for a few moments, until Jasper closed his eyes and groaned.

Instantly, Esme was crouched in front of Edward, and Carlisle and Alice each had a hold of Jasper‘s

arms.

―I‘m not going to attack him,‖ Jasper said.

―Of course you weren‘t,‖ Alice said, looking a bit sheepish.

―It‘s just… Come on, Edward. I get those feelings enough from the children at school.‖

I blinked in confusion, while Alice and Carlisle chuckled.

―I can‘t help it.‖ Edward shrugged. ―It just… keeps happening.‖

―Normal for a teenage boy. The rush of hormones is probably much greater too…‖

―Can we not discuss this?‖ Edward asked. ―Let‘s get out of here.‖

I hopped up, probably too eagerly, and took his hand.

―God. Go,‖ Jasper said, feigning a shudder.

―Edward, maybe you should call when you get there, and don‘t be out too late…‖

―Esme, I know your concerned -‖

―Anything could happen to you now. Car accidents -‖

―Please keep in mind I was born in 1901. Physically, I‘m seventeen, but -‖

―I know, I know… I just -‖

―And I appreciate that.‖

She wrapped her arms around him lightly, and we bid good night to his family. Then Edward
helped me hobble out the door, his eyes narrowing at Alice when she moved to help me quicker

than he did.

He had just settled in the driver‘s seat, when an odd expression crossed his face.

―What?‖ I asked, alarmed.

―Oh! I can‘t make it. Stay put,‖ he said, then quickly got out of the car. I reached for my door

handle, despite his order.

Then I noticed his back was to the window, but he didn‘t move.

I watched, confused, as his head very slightly tossed back, and then looked down to his feet.

His shoulders tensed up, then loosened in a slow shiver.

Edward was… peeing.

I quickly turned in my seat and looked out the opposite window to give him some kind of privacy.

After what seemed like quite a while, he hopped back in the car and looked at me.

―I‘m so sorry. That was rude, but I just couldn‘t wait -‖

―It‘s fine, Edward,‖ I giggled. ―How was it?‖

He looked a bit surprised at my inquiry, then smiled.

―It was really good,‖ he breathed, his eyes earnest and a small smile still on his lips.

I leaned in to kiss him, because we could do so casually now, even though I knew it would never

feel casual to me.

To my extreme disappointment and surprise, his head jerked away, and he started the car.

―Did I do something wrong?‖ I asked, shifting away awkwardly and embarrassed.

―You do everything right,‖ he sighed.

―I‘m not getting it.‖

―My self-control is very weak, Bella. In some ways, resisting you like this is harder for me than
resisting your blood was.‖

―Really?‖

―Yes… and now that there is no hunger, no other basic need, my fear is once I start touching you, I

won‘t be able to stop myself.‖

Funny how his fear was my wish.

―But, Edward, we don‘t have to stop,‖ I whispered, as he pulled the car out onto the road.

I watched his knuckles go white around the steering wheel, and his breathing was suddenly

labored.

―Bella… I… I was born in 1901. I‘m trying very hard to still live by the values of that era, and not

for my sake, but for yours…‖

―Edward, there will never be anyone else for me… It will always be only you. I don‘t see the point

in waiting.‖

His eyes grew wide, then narrowed, like he was considering something.

―If you say things like that, I‘ll be convinced. I won‘t be able to stop myself,‖ he finally said. He

was encouraging me… deliberately.

I took the bait, and my heart raced, and I smiled brightly and eagerly.

―I‘m yours forever, whether we do this or not. But, Edward… I want to.‖

He let out kind of a low groan, and I saw his adam‘s apple bob twice.

―I have no idea what I‘m doing. I have no experience with this. I mean, I‘ve seen… Well,

everything in the minds of others for years, but I‘ve never personally -‖

―You‘ll be lovely,‖ I whispered. ―We‘ll learn together.‖

He nodded and took my hand in his.

―So, earlier, Carlisle talked about a semen sample -‖

Edward cut me off with a cringe.

―I don‘t know if anything is active or not… which brings up another all too familiar issue. Bella, I
don‘t know that I‘ll ever be able to have children or not…‖

―That doesn‘t matter to me,‖ I said quickly. ―As long as I have you.‖

―You may want to take some time to think about that.‖

―I have. I always knew you couldn‘t have children, and if you can‘t, I can‘t either, and I‘m good

with that… But you should know, just in case anything is active -‖

―You take birth control for menstruation regularity purposes,‖ he said proudly and grinning, cutting

me off and astounding me.

―How did you know that?‖

―A few things tipped me off. One, I could smell it in your system. Two, you‘re as spot on as a
calendar, and I find that only women on the pill usually are, which, again, I know because I
smelled it, and the third reason is… Well, Charlie found your pills in the bathroom and had
homicidal thoughts about me for two days, before he finally broke down and called Renee and

asked about the pills.‖

It occurred to me how at ease and happy Edward was when referring to himself as a vampire, but

the subject of him being human, now or a hundred years ago, made him tense and clam up…

And I was reeling.

―What else do you know about me?‖ I squeaked.

He smirked at me.

―Not everything,‖ was all he said.

I stared ahead, wondering exactly what else he knew about me, and the embarrassing possibilities
were endless and mindboggling.

―Did I freak you out?‖

―No… I just… Wow.‖

―I did. I‘m sorry, I didn‘t mean to. It‘s just… There‘s a new kind of freedom, you know? I just -‖

―I love you.‖

―I love you too.‖

―We have a small problem,‖ I said, just as Edward pulled up to my house.

―What‘s that?‖

―How do we get you inside? Charlie won‘t -‖

―I can still climb a tree.‖ He shrugged.

―Oh, Edward, I don‘t know… If you fall, or -‖

―Bella. I‘m a seventeen year old kid again. Let me be one. Let me climb a tree to my girlfriend‘s

window.‖

His green eyes were mischievous and shining, and I just couldn‘t deny him anything.

―Esme will kill me,‖ I muttered.

―She doesn‘t have to know,‖ he said, and I got the feeling he was suddenly very much enjoying

being a rebellious teenager, and suppressing everything else.

But why shouldn‘t he enjoy this?

He deserved it, him more than anybody. The other stuff could come later. For tonight, or for

however long he needed, we would play his new game.

―Meet me in my room,‖ I said, turning to get out of the car.

He yanked my hand back and pressed my first fingertip to his warm full lips, making me gasp and

smile.

―I will definitely be there.‖

Chapter 6.

BPOV

―Where are you going?‖ I asked, when Edward opened his car door.

―You have a broken leg, and, God, I still have some manners. I‘m walking to you to your door, but

I‘m avoiding the good night kiss until later, because…‖

―Oh. Okay,‖ I said, and he got out and came around to my door.

He lifted me out carefully, and I helped as much as I could until finally, I was on one good leg,

leaning most of my weight on Edward.

He opened the front door, and Charlie was already there.

―You could have called. It‘s late,‖ he grumbled, stepping aside so we could get in.

―I‘m sorry, dad. It‘s just… We had dinner and had a lot of catching up to do,‖ I said.

Charlie kind of nodded and took in Edward.

I watched Charlie‘s face intently.

Would he notice the differences?

―You look good, Edward. Healthy as a horse. What were your injuries anyway?‖

―Just a few scrapes. I feel good… Almost brand new,‖ Edward smirked.

―Well, good… good,‖ Charlie said, leading the way back to the living room.

―Wow. I‘m exhausted,‖ I said, anxious to get Edward out of the house so I could get him back in.

―You wore yourself out,‖ Charlie said, his brow creasing. ―Maybe you ougtta call it an early night

and go to sleep.‖

―I think I will,‖ I said, yawning for theatrics.

I saw Edward roll his eyes from my peripheral vision.

―I got it from here, Edward,‖ Charlie said, taking my arm.

―Of course. Good night, Bella, Charlie,‖ Edward said, nodding once before turning back for the

door.

―You know… he‘s a nice kid,‖ Charlie said, when the door shut.

―Yes, he is,‖ I replied, taken a bit aback.

―I gotta say, I had doubts about him. He used to… I don‘t know… Give me the creeps a bit,‖ Charlie

chuckled, shaking his head.

―That‘s silly, dad,‖ I said too stiffly.

―I know it is, Bells. Guess I was bound to be a little leery of your first boyfriend at first.‖

―I guess,‖ I said, eager to get off this topic. ―So I really am tired. I think I‘ll head upstairs.‖

―Right, I‘ll help you up there,‖ Charlie said.

―Thanks -‖

I was cut off by the sound of a branch snapping from the tree out back.

Terror washed over me.

―Easy, Bells. Probably just the wind,‖ he said. ―No one would try to break into the Chief‘s house.‖

―Right,‖ I said.

―Would you feel better if I went and checked it out?‖

―No! No… I‘d just… like for you to help me up the stairs,‖ I said, trying to control the panic.

I didn‘t know what to do.

If he fell and was hurt, I‘d have to tell Charlie to go get help.

If he was fine, I couldn‘t send Charlie out there to find Edward in the tree.

Upstairs it was.

―Okay, thanks, dad. Good night,‖ I said, right outside my door.

―Night, Bells… Call if you need anything. It‘s late, so I‘ll turn in too, but I‘m right down the hall.‖

―I know,‖ I said dryly.

Ignoring the aching pain, I limped and hobbled over to my window and threw it open frantically.

I looked down and saw black grass, no Edward.

―Up here,‖ I heard.

And there he was, kind of perched on a branch, his arms supporting his weight on the branch

above him.

―You did it,‖ I whispered, exhilarated and beaming.

―Of course I did,‖ he said, somewhere between offended and amused. ―Move back.‖

I did, and he tightened his grip on the branch above him and swung his legs forward, into the

window, then landed inside with a thud.

We both froze.

―Bells? You okay?‖ I heard Charlie‘s muffled call.

―Yeah! Yes! I just… dropped a book!‖

―A book?‖ Edward mouthed, not impressed with my lying skills.

I shrugged and hoped Charlie would buy it.

The next few seconds were quiet, so I assumed he did.

Edward and I whispered in laughs at… all of this - at the mischief and the high of getting away with
it - and we laughed because of the buoyancy that love brings, and we laughed at the incredibility of

this whole day and at the impossible possibilities that were now endless and abundant for us.

We were happy.

We were weightless the promises of a full future.

With the prospects of tonight.

I watched Edward laugh, his green eyes shining and sparkling in an alive way I‘d never seen
before. The whispered rumbling rolled from him without caution, and out of nowhere I launched
myself at him, because I loved him too much to wait anymore and because I wanted to be caught

up in this moment and I wanted him to be caught up with me.

I wanted us to get carried away and go too far, because I knew it would never be far enough.

I wanted us to be able to find some kind of release, some kind of outlet for this intense love we

found… and now we could.

Edward caught me, which was a good thing, as I wouldn‘t have caught myself with one good leg.

His head tossed back, and his body slightly shook with his fading laughter, while I kissed his neck.

Then the laughter stopped, and he unlocked my arms from around his neck.

―Edward…‖

He cupped my face in two warm hands and bent his knees slightly, so we were eye to eye.

―Are you sure?‖ he asked, his eyes searching mine intently.

―I‘ve never been more sure of anything,‖ I said solemnly.

His lips touched mine too softly, and then he pulled away again.

―I will marry you some day,‖ he promised, and it sounded more like a promise to himself than to

me.

His hands dropped from my face and went to the buttons on his shirt.

He stared at me as, one by one, those buttons were undone, and then he shrugged out of the

shirt, letting it fall to the floor.

I put my palm against his beating heart and let my eyes close, while he sighed and took a step

closer.

He took my wrist from his chest and held it just above my head, then did the same to my other

hand.

I held very still in place, and he slid my shirt over my head. I felt one warm, trembling finger pull

down the strap of my bra, then the other one.

I raised my shoulders, and he helped me squirm out, so the bra was around my waist, and then I
opened my eyes.

He was staring at me with one corner of his mouth turned up and his eyes set on mine.

―Oh… Bella. You‘re beautiful,‖ he whispered.

I reached out to touch the muscular planes of his chest, and he reached out to touch me back.

And for a while, we stood in silence, our breaths hard and slow, just learning and touching and

seeing each other.

My finger traced the dark line of hair just under his navel, and he inhaled sharply and grabbed my

hand.

―Oh! Sorry, I…‖

His eyes closed, and I saw his jaw lock.

―This is going to be… better and harder than I thought,‖ he said, smiling.

We both looked down at where he held my frozen hand.

―I‘m darker than you,‖ he mused, and I could barely hear him, because all I could focus on was the

very human part of him straining upwards and at me.

I felt my eyes go wide.

―If you want to stop, we should stop right now, because -‖

―I don‘t want to stop,‖ I said, putting my arms back around his neck.

―It‘s good,‖ he whispered, feeling my chest pushed to his, and I would‘ve agreed if I could‘ve
talked anymore at all.

His arms wrapped around my waist, and he lifted me a few inches from the floor, so he could kiss
me harder and better than he ever had before.

―I‘m not stopping,‖ he panted, walking backward to my bed.

He turned and lay me on my back, then crashed down on top of me, somehow still managing not

to hurt my broken leg.

Edward kissed down my chest and over my stomach and back up again, quick and hard. I tugged
at the waistband of my sweatpants, not exactly sexy, but the only thing I could get over the bulky

cast.

Edward sat up on his knees, and while I pulled at my own pants, I heard the sound of his belt
coming undone. I heard him shift and I heard the soft sound of denim hitting my floor… And then I
was burning with frustration, because I still hadn‘t managed my sweatpants. Between the nerves,

excitement, cast and shaking hands, it was just too hard.

He was over me in an instant, one palm on either side of my head.

His dark hair hung forward, shadowing his eyes and touching my forehead.

―I… need help,‖ I said sheepishly.

He bend his elbows, lowering himself to me, and while his lips were on mine, I felt him smoothly
slide my pants down.

His body squirmed down mine when my pants got snagged on the cast, and I giggled and
squirmed, while he shook his head and laughed.

And then we were quiet, because there was nothing at all between us anymore.

No fear.

No clothes.

Nothing.

His head shook slowly above me, and then he angled it up.

―I‘m in love with you, Edward,‖ I said in a low, clear, determined tone, so he‘d hear it, so he‘d
always know it.

He looked down and smiled softly.

My legs spread, and he shifted between them, and I felt him hot and pressing at me.

My head tucked under his chin, and he kissed the top of my head.

He inhaled deeply with a groan, and his body jerked and shuddered, and his hips thrust… away

from me.

Then I felt warm and wet on my inner thigh.

He shivered, and his chest heaved above me, and I watched the muscles in his neck strain and

flex.

Edward cursed under his breath, and then his arms straightened, so his weight was lifted

completely off of me.

He looked down at me with heavily hooded eyes and a small smile. I raised my hand to wipe at the

dark locks of sweaty hair clinging to his forehead.

―It‘s okay. It‘s okay… I understand -‖

He cut me off with his lips, and then his weight was on me again.

My nails dragged softly down his back, and I memorized the feeling of his soft skin under my

fingers.

His tongue, still soft but demanding, found mine. Then he moved to my neck, then my shoulder.

I felt his hand on my wrist, then he brought my hand to his face and stared intently.

We both focused on the crescent scar on my palm, and I couldn‘t quite tell what he was thinking.

―It‘s… my nightmare… and my dream come true… all in the same scar…‖ he said in a low, raspy

voice.

―But the nightmare part never happened,‖ I said, trying to get rid of any darkness he was

harboring. ―Because you saved me.‖

―I think it‘s you who saved me,‖ he sighed, then lightly kissed the scar.

I slid my hand from his lips and into his hair, then pulled him back up to me.

His eyes closed, and I leaned my head up to kiss over his eyes, the tip of his nose, his cheeks,

along his jaw, and finally his lips.

He put a hand under my neck to hold my head up, then kissed me back, full and deep, and I felt

his hips start rock again… And then I felt him press against me again.

―It will hurt,‖ he said, resting his forehead to mine, but even as he warned, his hips were starting

to press harder, and I could feel him hard and hot against me.

―I‘m ready,‖ I said, because I was.

I wrapped my arms tightly around his neck and held my breath.

―I can‘t help myself,‖ he mumbled in a whisper; to himself, to heaven, to me… I wasn‘t sure.

Then his head moved from my forehead, and his face buried into my neck, and he gave one swift
thrust forward.

I bit my bottom lip hard and held on tight around his neck, waiting for the shock of sharp pain to
subside.

I focused on the fact that Edward was inside of me.

We were joined in a way that shouldn‘t be possible, in a way I‘ve dreamed about and longed for…

It was well worth the slight pain.

Edward‘s breaths were hot and hard, and he was completely still for a second, until he raised his

face to look at me.

―Are you all right?‖

I answered him with a kiss, and then he started move, while I stayed still, my arms still frozen

around him.

―Bella… it‘s perfect,‖ he mumbled into my mouth, and he was right - it was. ―Don‘t be scared…‖ he

smiled, when he noticed he couldn‘t move his neck.

I smiled up at him sheepishly and loosened my grip on him.

―Hang on as tight as you need to,‖ he said and then he pushed harder, making me gasp, but not in

pleasure or pain… Just… in love.

―I got you, Bella… still… always… Don‘t be scared…‖

And then I relaxed around him and let my hands and lips wander and explore and learn him, while
he moved himself around in me… and I knew he was right.

Whether he was a seventeen year old boy, a one hundred and three year old vampire… Whatever
he was, he had me always.

My tongue found his ear, and I uttered the only thing that would come to my lips.

―Edward…‖

The sheets on either side of my head bunched in his fists, and a very human hiss came from
between his teeth.

He jerked and spilled and shuttered, and I told him over and over I loved him, until his body was
still and collapsed on mine.

He slipped out with a shift of his damp torso, and then I felt whole and empty all at the same time.

Edward rolled onto his back, his eyes closed and his breathing hard.

I put my fingers in his hair, in his lips…

―I‘m happy,‖ I whispered, but he was already sleeping.

I grabbed the quilt at the end of the bed and covered us up to our chins, then wrapped his limp

arm around me and laid my ear to his chest, listening to his pumping heart and his heavy breaths.

He was exhausted.

I couldn‘t wake him if I tried.

Tonight I wanted to marvel and sleep and love with him warm and alive against me.

I‘d worry about Charlie tomorrow.

Chapter 7.

BPOV

My eyes snapped open with a start, and I thought of the first thing I thought of every morning.

Edward.

Edward was human.

I blinked and tried to separate dream from reality, then I bolted up.

Edward was in my bed.

I looked over my shoulder at him. Yep, definitely in my bed.

He‘d rolled onto his stomach, and his hands were buried underneath a pillow, along with half of his
face. His breathing was heavy and slow, and I should‘ve panicked, but first I had to lay a hand on

his sleeping, warm back and close my eyes and think of last night.

I leaned down to kiss his shoulder, then the back of his neck, taking in his new smell, the feeling of

his skin on my lips.

―Edward… Edward, you have to wake up,‖ I whispered softly.

Nothing.

Not even a flinch.

I shook him slightly.

Nothing.

―Edward, wake up. Charlie will be in here.‖

He rubbed his face in the pillow, turned it away from me and kept sleeping.

For a second I was entranced at how utterly human he was, and then I did start to panic.

Charlie could very well kill him, at the very least do major, bodily harm.

―I‘m serious, Edward!‖ I rushed a whisper. ―Please. Please wake up.‖

Nothing.

I leaned over the side of the bed and grabbed my disregarded shirt and sweatpants, and

awkwardly wrestled them on over my cast.

He didn‘t wake the entire time.

I glanced out the window and noticed it was already daylight.

I heard faint noises of Charlie banging around in the kitchen.

Oh, no.

No.

He‘d be up here to help me into the bathroom any minute.

I stayed very still, hoping to figure something out, when I heard something else coming from the

kitchen.

―No problem, Charlie. I don‘t mind at all.‖

It was Alice.

She was talking purposely loud, so I‘d hear.

―Have a good day, Charlie! Don‘t forget your lunch and don‘t worry. I‘ll take good care of Bella!‖

The front door slammed shut, and I heard an annoyed hiss travel up the stairs.

I quickly pulled the covers up to Edward‘s neck and didn‘t bother trying to get out of the bed; she‘d

be there before I could get out anyway.

The door opened in the same second, and I smiled sheepishly at Alice, who looked downright

frightening in my doorway.

―Alice, I -‖

―Stop,‖ she ordered, holding one hand up. ―Are you okay? Is he okay?‖

―Yeah, we‘re fine…‖

―Good. Do you have any idea of the vision I had this morning? I‘ll just say Charlie is fiercely
protective of you.‖

―Oh, God -‖

―I told him I came to help you shower and such; he looked relieved,‖ Alice said, and her eyes kept
darting to Edward‘s sleeping form. She sniffed at the air and made a face, no doubt smelling what
we got up to last night.

I turned red and spoke before she could.

―He won‘t wake up,‖ I said, starting to get a bit worried.

―Of course he won‘t. He‘s had quite a night, I suppose,‖ Alice said, raising an eyebrow at me.

―Help me into the shower,‖ I muttered, my face burning.

Alice dutifully helped me through my morning routine, and I could tell she wasn‘t exactly thrilled

with me.

I didn‘t ask.

―Charlie says you don‘t have to go to school today.‖

―Is Edward going?‖ I asked.

―If he wakes up,‖ she snapped, then her face softened. ―It‘s up to him, of course.‖

―Well, I‘ll do whatever he does,‖ I said, and Alice rolled her eyes.

Alice helped me down the stairs and into the kitchen.

―Did Charlie have breakfast?‖ I asked.

―Yes, and I made his lunch,‖ she said, tossing a box of cereal on the table.

―Thank you, Alice. You have no idea how much I -‖

I got cut off when we heard loud, thudding footsteps plunk down the stairs.

I smiled in anticipation, and my stomach flipped.

Alice‘s arms crossed over her chest, and she stared at the kitchen entrance, waiting.

Edward walked in, wearing his rumpled clothes, wild, dark hair that curled and spiked around his

head, and his face broke out into a grin when his eyes found mine.

I smiled back and started to move out of my chair.

―Don‘t get up,‖ Alice and Edward said at the same time.

Edward grabbed a chair and moved it next to mine, then grabbed my hand, then my face.

His lips were still puffy with sleep, and he leaned his chair up so it rested on only two legs, so he
could lean in closer.

―I‘m standing right here,‖ Alice said.

Edward didn‘t move, until I was kissed thoroughly and properly.

―Good morning, Alice,‖ he said, finally pulling away. ―I‘m sure I have many reasons to thank you,

so thank you.‖

―You do. Do you have any idea what Esme has been through these past few hours? You should

have called, at the very least -‖

―Alice, I‘m not actually a seventeen year old kid -‖

―Then stop acting like one! You live with people who love you and worry about you, Edward. It has
nothing to do with being treated like a child. It‘s just common courtesy to call and say you‘re okay.
I swear, you are a seventeen year old, rebellious boy! And I know whatever went on here last night
is none of my business, but do the two of you think that was wise? With all of the other, huge

changes going on, you just -‖

―You‘re right. It‘s none of your business, Alice,‖ Edward said, picking up the cereal box and opening

the top.

He peered inside and inhaled deeply.

―I‘m just saying… I think you‘re avoiding the major issues, here. I think your diving in, because

you‘re afraid -‖

―What the Hell do you want me to do, Alice?‖ Edward yelled, slamming the cereal box on the table,

scattering a few flakes on the table.

Human Edward had a temper with a short fuse.

I stayed quiet and let them battle this one out.

―I want you to be happy and embrace your new chance, Edward, but I want you to do it safely, and

that means not forgetting what you were five days ago. It also means dealing with all of it…‖

―You know what? I have this chance and I‘m sorry you don‘t. But I won‘t be brought down, Alice. I
have to act human, because that‘s what I am now. You just… You have no idea. I‘m all too aware

of the danger here, Alice. I am.‖

―Then, for crying out loud, acknowledge it! Wake up, Edward!‖

He stood and pulled at his hair for a quick second, before his fists balled.

―I have to focus on what is good,‖ he said sharply and deep and quiet. ―I can‘t do it any other

way.‖

Alice‘s face softened, and I reached forward to take Edward‘s hand.

―Fine, then,‖ Alice said quietly. ―I have fresh clothes for you in the car. We don‘t want to be late for

school.‖

Then she was gone and back in the same instant with an armload of clothes for Edward.

―Thank you,‖ he said stiffly, taking the clothes from her. ―Can I use your shower, Bella?‖

―Of course, yeah, go,‖ I said, dazed.

He bent to brush his lips along the base of my neck and then he plodded back upstairs.

―This is going to… blow up,‖ Alice sighed once he was gone.

―What? How?‖ I asked, alarmed.

―Bella… he is avoiding. He is diving into this new life, and I support that, that‘s great. But… there
are issues, and he just -‖

―We‘ll be fine,‖ I said, taking a page from Edward‘s book and avoiding the situation myself.

Why shouldn‘t we be happy for as long as we could?

Alice stared blankly at me, then sighed and poured me a bowl of cereal.

It was quiet, while I ate, and Alice paced around, gathering my backpack and jacket.

Edward came down, starving, and three bowls of cereal later he decided he could last until lunch.

Finally, we were ready for school and with Alice rushing us, we‘d even make it on time.

―I found your car around the block and pulled it up after Charlie left,‖ Alice said to Edward. ―We
should drive separately today. I have to pick up Jasper at home, and we‘re going hunting right
after school -‖

―You just went last night,‖ Edward said, pausing as he walked out the door to peer into Alice‘s light
butterscotch eyes.

―It‘s good for Jasper. Besides, I could use the release of hunt myself,‖ she muttered.

―Yeah, me too,‖ Edward said so quietly under his breath, I was sure I wasn‘t supposed to hear it.

On the way to school, Edward and I kissed at every stop sign.

We laughed for no good reason.

We whispered ‗I love you‘s and we held hands.

We were happy.

It was unseasonably warm, but heavily overcast; the air was muggy, and inside the school would

be even worse.

The school parking lot was abuzz with gossip and inquiries about our little trip to Arizona and my

broken leg.

We walked through it, smiling with clasped hands.

If only these people knew.

Jessica Stanley came flying up, her eyes locked on our locked hands.

―Wow, Bella, are you okay?‖

―I‘m great,‖ I said.

―You fell down stairs…?‖

―I did, but I‘m good now,‖ I said, silently willing Edward to pull me forward. And then her eyes

were narrowed on him.

―You look… good. Uninjured, I mean,‖ Jessica stammered.

―I am. Just a few scrapes,‖ Edward said.

―Oh, good… good,‖ Jessica said, falling into step with us.

My eyes widened in realization that she was comfortable.

I hadn‘t anticipated this and I didn‘t like it.

Edward was still beautiful, still sexy, but he didn‘t give off a creepy vibe anymore. It occurred to

me people would flock to him - girls specifically.

―So, Edward, did you like Arizona? I mean, what you got to see of it before the, er… accident,

anyway?‖

―Sure. Arizona is fine,‖ Edward said, looking skeptically at Jessica.

―I‘d like to hear all about it. Maybe you guys could sit with us at lunch today,‖ Jessica bubbled.

―Well, we‘ll probably sit with Edward‘s family,‖ I said.

Dream on, Stanley.

―Oh. Well, we should all catch up sometime,‖ Jessica said, not even looking at me, and her
statement was just ridiculous.

Her and Edward… catching up.

Like they were long lost friends or something.

I scowled at the school in front of me.

This girl had some nerve. I mean, he was holding my hand, and we came to school together. I

wished she‘d scurry off already.

―Right. Catch up,‖ Edward said flatly, and Jessica kind of skipped ahead, but she paused to wave

over her shoulder at Edward.

Confused, he held up a hand and kind of waved back.

―That was weird,‖ he mused, shuffling me through the door.

―Please. She wants you,‖ I said a bit too acidly.

―I‘m aware she thinks I‘m attractive, but she‘s never been so -‖

―You don‘t put off a warning vibe anymore,‖ I said, almost mad at him.

―Oh. I guess I don‘t… Are you - you‘re jealous,‖ he grinned, looking triumphant.

―I am.‖

―While I find it flattering and funny, don‘t be. You have no reason to be. I can‘t even see anyone
else.‖

I instantly melted, as we reached my locker.

Edward did the combination and popped it open.

―It‘s so quiet,‖ he said, helping me shrug out of my coat.

―Quiet?‖ I asked above the buzzing hall, but I supposed, to him, it would be.

He shrugged, slammed my locker shut, and we started for my first class.

―Hey, Bella! How‘s the leg?‖ Mike Newton asked, as we passed him.

―Oh, I‘m fine, thanks,‖ I smiled.

―Hey, Cullen,‖ he mumbled and then kept trudging forward.

―I‘m glad I can‘t hear him anymore,‖ Edward said, and I rolled my eyes.

The morning passed agonizingly slow, and I was pummeled with questions about details concerning

my accident… and even more questions concerning my relationship with Edward.

By the time lunch rolled around, I had repeated, ―Yes, he‘s my boyfriend,‖ about a hundred times.

Stanley chose to delve in further and asked if he was a good kisser.

―Yes,‖ I said shortly, then silently told her she‘d never find out for herself.

Edward walked me to the cafeteria, and I noticed immediately Rosalie and Emmett weren‘t there.

―She really left… to search,‖ I said quietly.

―Of course she did,‖ Edward said.

We walked to the table, and Edward helped me sit down, before asking what I wanted to eat, but

Alice had four trays packed with food already on the table.

Before Edward took his first bite of pizza, Mike Newton sidled up to our table, carrying a baseball

bat, with Tyler Crowley at his side.

―Hey, Bella… It‘s so warm out, we thought we‘d play some lunch time ball in the courtyard… I know

you can‘t play, but you could come watch or whatever…‖

―Oh, Mike, that‘s okay -‖

―Are your teams even?‖ Edward asked, his head snapping up.

Jasper grinned, and Alice rolled her eyes.

―Um… No, I guess they‘re not…‖ Mike said hesitantly. I could tell he didn‘t like where this was

going.

Edward could tell too, he just didn‘t care.

―I‘ll play.‖ Edward shrugged, shocking the hell out of Mike and Tyler.

―Oh, erm… all right…‖ Mike said, glancing at Tyler.

Edward stood up, grabbed his pizza in one hand, my hand in his other, and smiled. Mike and Tyler
headed out for the courtyard.

―You wanna watch?‖ he asked me.

I nodded and glanced at Alice.

―Why not? I‘ve already seen it, but it‘s better live,‖ she said, then looked at Jasper. ―If you change

your mind…‖

He nodded stiffly, and I gave him a limp smile.

Clearly, he was in pain, and I felt awful for him.

Ten minutes later Alice and I were leaning against the rusty, old fence lining the courtyard,

watching Edward step up to bat.

Obviously, I knew he could play, but I was curious to see how the human Edward would play.

―Why do you think he wanted to play?‖ I asked Alice, my eyes trained on Edward, who was looking
curiously at his hands wrapped around the bat… Probably marveling at the fact that no matter how

hard he held it, it didn‘t turn to dust.

―Probably to exercise his new muscles. Maybe to show off, release pent up energy… Remember,
Bella, as vampires we work very hard to restrain ourselves in public constantly. Just picking up that

bat and holding it tight is a whole new freedom for him.‖

I nodded and watched intently, as Eric Yorkie pitched the ball to Edward.

The bat made contact with a crack, and the ball slammed into the fence on the opposite side of the
courtyard.

My jaw dropped, as did everyone else‘s.

―Apparently, he‘s always been athletic,‖ Alice sighed.

―Apparently,‖ I mumbled.

Edward was staring with a furrowed brow at the fence, then he grinned.

―Holy Hell,‖ Newton said, running up to clap Edward on the back. ―Since when do you play ball like

that?‖

Edward shrugged.

―You should try out for the Varsity team. We could use you… How come you don‘t hit like that in
gym?‖

―I‘ve been holding back,‖ Edward said.

The ball had been retrieved, and Edward handed the bat to Newton, who held his hands up.

―No way, man. I wanna see if you can do it again.‖

And he did.

And then again.

I watched him run and pitch and catch and sweat and gasp for breath and laugh. By the end of
lunch, a crowd had formed, and I heard murmurs… about Edward.

―Looks so hot today…‖

―Actually smiled at me in History…‖

He was enjoying his freedom, as Alice had put it… And he was mine, so I tuned them all out and
watched my seventeen year old boyfriend, my one hundred and three year old lover, my protector

and my friend, play a game of baseball.

Just before the bell rang for lunch, I noticed Alice had gone still.

―What?‖ I asked.

―Hmm? Oh. Nothing. He‘s really very good, isn‘t he?‖ she said absently.

―Of course he is,‖ I said.

Alice inhaled deeply, and I saw her head slightly cock to the left.

―I‘m going to find Jasper,‖ she said, and before I could ask her what was up, she was gone.

The bell rang, and Edward jogged up to my side and softly kissed my lips, because he could. I
pulled him closer, leaning my weight on him, and then he whispered my name into my mouth.

―What?‖ I asked, annoyed.

―I have to go back inside the school…‖ he said, his forehead touching mine as he bent his head to

look down at his pants.

―Oh! Oh, I‘m sorry,‖ I giggled and then I noticed we were being gaped at, so I kissed him again,

lightly on the lips.

―Couldn‘t help it,‖ I said. ―And you‘ve got some skills on the field! I was impressed. Did you always

like baseball?‖

―Yeah… I like athletics in general, I guess.‖

―Did you play a lot or…‖ I trailed off when the smile left his face, and his expression darkened.

―A bit… Where did Alice go?‖ he asked, looking around.

―Jasper,‖ I said.

―Huh. Well, shall we?‖ he asked, taking my arm.

―Sure,‖ I said, leaning into him.

We walked back to the school, and I couldn‘t quite shake a nagging feeling… or two.

When would he acknowledge his former human life? I was anxious to learn everything about him…

But more pressing was Alice.

Something seemed off when she left… I was determined to find out what it was.

Chapter 8.

BPOV

The next week I floated happily on air.

Esme had taken to cooking all day long for Edward.

Jasper had taken to hunting every opportunity he had.

Alice was acting increasingly odd, disappearing in the middle of school, showing up at my house

with odd reasons…

Carlisle was poring over ancient creeds and texts, still trying to figure Edward out.

Emmett and Rosalie had made it to southern France, still with no singer for either of them.

Edward dominated gym class, but turned down offers on every after school team… And after he

lectured Lauren Mallory on respect, he politely turned down her invitation to dinner.

We had our own extra-curricular activities every afternoon until Charlie got home.

Up in my bedroom, we continued with our constant learning and exploring, touching and loving.
Sometimes afterward, we‘d sleep or eat or read side by side, but usually, we just started all over

again.

At the end of the second week I found myself sitting on the Cullens‘ marble bathroom sink, staring

at Edward, who was staring at his reflection.

The top two buttons of his shirt had been undone, and the faucet was running.

He bent and splashed water on his face, then let his wet hands run through his hair, making it dark

everywhere.

I picked up the can of shaving cream and squirted a ball of foam into my palm.

―Can I do it?‖ I asked, looking up at Edward.

―You‘re absurd, but yes,‖ he said, shaking his head.

I was sad to see the stubble go, as I had been entranced watching it grow in the past few days…
And I quite liked stubbly Edward, but Charlie had asked if I was sure he was seventeen, and people

started commenting on how different he looked… and not just the stubble.

It had to go.

The more he looked like his vampire self, the safer the secret was.

I smoothed a dollop of cream on his jaw, and he bent down to kiss my lips.

I smiled, picked up the razor and held it a half inch from his face.

―Do I go down or up or…?‖

He took my wrist and glided my hand and the razor smoothly over his jaw.

―Just… like… this,‖ he whispered through the movement.

He ran the razor, still in my hand, under the water, and I did the next part myself, while he kept
his eyes on me.

―I love you, Bella,‖ he said out of no where.

―I love you too, Edward. Now turn to the left a little.‖

He did, and I continued in deep concentration.

―Tell me about Chicago,‖ I whispered, sliding another glob of shaving cream across his face.

I noticed his lip twitched, and then he kind of sighed.

―Chicago… was different then, I guess. I don‘t really know what you want to know, Bella.‖

Only everything.

But he wasn‘t ready, so I let it go.

I was gliding the razor over the sharp corner of his jaw, when he flinched and pulled back, his eyes

wide.

I watched a drop of bright red blood instantly appear where the razor just was.

―I‘m sorry! Oh, I -‖

―Move for a second,‖ he said quietly, patting my leg.

I scooched over a few inches, and Edward leaned over the counter and looked in the mirror at the

nick.

He splashed water on his face, washing away the excess shaving cream, and looked closer in the

mirror.

His mouth kind of turned up at one corner, and one shaking finger raised to the drop of blood.

―I‘m bleeding,‖ he whispered, sounding amazed, not hurt. ―Blood.‖

He looked at the smear of blood on his fingertip and smelled it, then peered at it some more.

Then, out of the silence, there was a terrifying, deafening crack at the closed bathroom door.

I froze.

Edward‘s eyes went wide, and he quickly stuck his finger under the running water.

There was a hiss and a growl outside the door, then another loud crack, and this time the door

bowed.

―Jesus… it‘s Jasper,‖ Edward whispered.

He looked frantic and white, and I couldn‘t even move. My blood and breaths were pulsing, and I

didn‘t know what to do.

Edward glanced at the window, but we were on the third story.

―Get his other arm, Esme,‖ we heard Alice order calmly, and another deep growl from Jasper
followed.

I jumped with each crash and growl and hiss, while Edward stared at the door with wide eyes.

―He‘s pinned,‖ Esme called. ―Go! Get out and run past us. Go,‖ she ordered.

Edward picked me up, and I felt the muscles in his arms strain, as I held on tightly. I squeezed my
eyes shut, and Edward got us out the door, and we must have passed them, because I heard the

very distinct sound of Jasper‘s teeth snapping together behind me.

Edward had me out of the house and in the passenger‘s seat of the Volvo without saying a word. I

clicked my seat belt on, and we peeled recklessly from the driveway and out to the road.

Edward pulled the car over, and his fist hit the roof of the car twice, making me jump.

―It‘s okay…‖ I started, but his head snapped in my direction, his face a mask of disbelief.

―It‘s not okay.‖

―Edward -‖

―Look, are you okay?‖

―Yeah, I‘m fine. We had a small scare -‖

―Small scare? He could‘ve killed us both, and there wasn‘t a damn thing I could‘ve done about it.‖

His head cocked to the side, and I saw his jugular pulse with anger, adrenaline, fear… Something.

He threw the car back into drive, and the engine revved, then the tires squealed.

―Edward, look -‖

―Bella, that was so stupid! How could I have not thought of that? So stupid…‖

―Stop that. Edward, you‘re just… You know, there is so much going on, and everything is so new
still. You can‘t blame yourself.‖

―I know better! I was reckless with you and with my brother. That could‘ve been a feeding frenzy.‖

―But it wasn‘t.‖

He slowly turned his head to me and sighed.

It was quiet the rest of the way back to my house.

―I didn‘t mean to yell,‖ he said quietly when we pulled up.

―I know. I know it‘s harder than I could ever imagine. If you want to talk about it, or-‖

―I should get back.‖

―You‘re not going back there! Are you out of your mind? You can‘t go back there right now…‖

A humorless smile crossed his face, and I couldn‘t tell what he was thinking.

He dragged a hand over his face, and the smile was gone, and I noticed how tired he looked.

―Please? Please, Edward. Just come inside. You can sleep. I‘ll make dinner,‖ I said, knowing I
sounded desperate and pathetic, but I didn‘t care.

Whatever it took to keep him here, away from there… at least for now.

―Bella…‖

―Please.‖

He raised a finger to my chin and looked at me for what seemed a very long time.

―I can‘t deny you anything,‖ he sighed, defeated.

In my kitchen I chopped celery, and Edward chopped onion, and it was quiet, until I noticed
Edward kept eyeing the onion curiously.

―Is it bothering your eyes? We can switch,‖ I said.

―No… no. My mother,‖ he said slowly, angling the knife in a new direction, ―used to be able to

make a flower out of an onion.‖

―Like a blooming onion,‖ I said, trying to sound casual, my eyes on his face.

I just wanted him to keep talking.

His eyebrows furrowed in slight concentration, and he bent his neck slightly, making his dark hair

fall into his eyes.

―Kind of,‖ he said, his eyes still focused down on the onion, ―but smaller. I don‘t know why she did
it; we didn‘t eat them. She‘d… I don‘t know… Use it for garnish, I guess. It seemed a waste at the

time. I guess she was just trying to… make something pretty.‖

―I think she sounds lovely,‖ I whispered.

―She was,‖ he said back, barely audible.

―Edward -‖

He held up a tiny, perfectly sculpted onion flower thing.

―It‘s beautiful,‖ I said.

―I learned it from her,‖ he said and placed it in my palm, then lifted it back up. ―That was silly. I‘m

sorry.‖

I snatched it back carefully and held it up to my face.

―I love it.‖

He exhaled deeply and smiled at me.

―Okay… What do we next? Boil pasta?‖

Instead of grabbing a pot, I grabbed his collar and pressed my lips to his. He responded
immediately, like I knew he would, and his hands went from my hair to my waist, where he
gripped tight and then hoisted me to the countertop.

His mouth and his hands were intense, searching me all over in a way I‘ve never felt… He was
clinging and pulling, maybe trying to forget, maybe trying to be comforted, but it didn‘t matter,

because I would be there for him in whatever capacity he needed.

I wrapped my legs around him, and his hands slammed down on the counter, as he groaned out

and into my mouth.

―Here?‖ I asked, hoping he‘d say yes.

―Here. Now.‖

My head tossed back and banged on the cabinet.

―You‘re okay?‖ he mumbled, his lips already at my throat.

―I‘m good,‖ I panted, and he kept his quick, warm kisses coming.

―Sorry to interrupt dinner,‖ I heard Alice‘s annoyed twinkling behind us.

Edward‘s head dropped and then rested on my chest for a second.

―You could start to knock,‖ I said, glaring at her over Edward‘s head.

―Alice, really -‖ Edward started.

―I‘m not here to stay.‖

―How‘s Jasper?‖ Edward asked, coming back to his senses and turning around.

―He feels awful… He just… feels awful,‖ Alice said, her shoulders sagging.

―It wasn‘t his fault. It was mine,‖ Edward said.

―It wasn‘t anybody‘s fault,‖ Alice sighed. ―And if we‘re placing blame, I should take some too. I

wasn‘t watching closely enough.‖

―I can‘t stay there, Alice,‖ Edward said, and I had to agree with him.

I couldn‘t bear living like that, knowing he was in constant danger whenever he was in his home.

He couldn‘t live like that either.

―We‘ll figure something out,‖ Alice said, but she didn‘t seem too concerned with that particular,

huge problem. ―Bella, I was wondering if I could borrow your red top. The V-neck one.‖

―What?‖

That was odd.

More than odd.

Alice owned more clothes than… Well, anyone, and if she didn‘t own it, she bought it… And she

detested my clothes.

―Your red top. V-neck. I need it.‖

―Why?‖

―Don‘t friends borrow each other‘s clothes all the time?‖ Alice asked, offended.

―Um… I guess, but, Alice -‖

―Thanks, I‘ll just run up and get it,‖ she beamed. Then she was gone.

―Weird,‖ I said to Edward, who was still staring at the doorway Alice just breezed through. ―Why on

Earth would she want my shirt? And she blew Jasper‘s issues off… Weird.‖

Edward turned to me with what was a very forced smile.

―I‘m sure everything is just fine,‖ he said.

Alice was back in the kitchen, said goodbye and was gone… I noticed her hands were empty.

Edward wrapped his arms around me and buried his face in my neck, so I couldn‘t see his eyes.

Alice wanted to borrow my shirt?

Alice didn‘t leave with my shirt.

Alice left Jasper right after he nearly killed Edward? Right when he needed her most? For a crappy

red shirt?

And the most puzzling, Alice wasn‘t watching Edward and Jasper closely?

Well, then what the heck was she watching closely?

Surely, nothing was more important than that…

Chapter 9.

BPOV

The next afternoon at lunch was cryptic and quiet, much like the morning had been, much like the

rest of yesterday evening was.

Edward was on his second sandwich, Alice was toying with an apple, Jasper was holding his breath,
and I was still trying to get to the bottom of the red shirt incident… It was in my drawer, where

Alice wouldn‘t have had a problem finding it.

I was just tossing my disregarded grapes on Edward‘s tray, when Mike Newton and Jessica Stanley

strode up.

―Hey, guys,‖ Jessica said, looking only at Edward.

―Hello,‖ Alice said brightly, and Jessica leaned back slightly.

―What happened to your face?‖ Jessica asked Edward, and her finger grazed the nick on his jaw.

He flinched back from her touch and glared up at her, chewing slowly.

―Shaving,‖ I said. ―I did it.‖

―Dude, never let a chick shave your face. It‘s asking for bloodletting,‖ Newton laughed, and

Jasper‘s eyes tightened. ―Are you in today?‖

Mike tossed a baseball in the air and caught it.

―No,‖ said Edward, making no attempt at being pleasant.

―We need you out there, dude.‖

―I‘m not playing,‖ Edward snapped and shoved his tray away from him.

―Okay…‖ Mike said quietly. Then he and Jessica ducked out of there.

―Wow. What‘s your problem?‖ Alice asked.

Edward‘s head snapped up, and he blinked twice, before responding.

―Why did you go into Bella‘s room, looking for a shirt you didn‘t want and didn‘t take?‖

―It wasn‘t the cut I thought it was. I was looking for something more elegant.‖

―You‘re lying.‖

―You, brother, can‘t possibly know that anymore.‖

Edward‘s fists clenched. He kind of stood up, then sat back down and discreetly pointed a finger at

Alice.

―I‘m not a child. I‘m human, but that doesn‘t make me stupid, Alice. What the Hell is going on?‖

―Hey!‖ Jasper cut in, and I swore I heard a rumble coming from his chest.

―Stop,‖ Alice said. ―You‘re right. Something is going on. It‘s hazy yet. I didn‘t want to say anything
until I was sure -‖

―Say it,‖ Edward said, leaning in and dropping his head.

I saw his breaths come harder, and everything in me drained, because whatever it was, it meant

we were both in danger now.

My head went dizzy and floated, my heart sounded too loud.

―The Volturi caught wind of your little… change of species -‖

―How?‖

―No clue.‖

I must have looked as terrified as I felt, because Edward pulled me off of my chair and onto his lap,
and wrapped his arms tightly around my waist.

―Jasper…‖ Edward said, and I instantly felt calm.

―Go on, Alice. Tell me,‖ Edward urged.

―Not much to tell. I don‘t see any harm. They just want to come and see, ask details. If they plan

to take any action at all, it won‘t be during this visit. But Bella can‘t be there…‖

―What?‖ I practically yelled and was met with a trio of ‗shhh‘s.

―Bella, it simply isn‘t safe to have you anywhere near us. You‘re a complete outsider. If they find
out you know our secrets… If they find out we let you know our secrets, it just won‘t end well,‖

Jasper said quietly, almost comforting.

―I am where Edward is. He‘s human too, just as fragile as me. If he stays, so do I,‖ I said,

clutching fiercely at his forearms around my waist.

―He‘s not in danger,‖ Alice insisted. ―I got the full vision very early this morning. I‘m still not sure

when it will be. I‘m predicting by the end of next week, but I can‘t be sure…‖

―So you want to - what? Send me away indefinitely? I have a father. I have school. I have Edward.

I can‘t just -‖

―She‘s right,‖ Edward said softly behind me.

I hadn‘t expected that.

―If what you say is true, and I‘m in no danger, it doesn‘t make sense for Bella to be shipped off.
She just stays away from the house until you can be sure when they‘re coming.‖

―I‘m not foolproof.‖

―You‘ll see if the plan changes. If they plan to kill me. You‘ll see it clearer, the closer it gets.‖

Alice looked from me to Edward, then her eyes rested on my hands, still clutching Edward.

―Fine. But she stays away from the house. And from now on, I watch for the two of you constantly.

Keep that in mind when you‘re alone.‖ Alice shuddered.

―Ew,‖ I uttered.

―Watch for the important stuff, Alice. Mind your own business with the personal stuff,‖ Edward said.

―And I‘m still failing to see how the search for Bella‘s shirt comes into play.‖

Alice pursed her lips and spun her apple on the table.

―Alice…‖

―Edward.‖

She glared up at him, and shockingly enough, he let it drop.

―No. No secrets,‖ I said. Then the bell rang, and Alice and Jasper were gone.

―Don‘t… Just don‘t worry,‖ Edward said, as we walked to biology.

―Oh. Okay. Right. Edward, they could kill you,‖ I whispered.

―They won‘t. You heard Alice.‖

―But… you‘re defenseless against them now…‖

He stopped walking for a second, shook his head and resumed.

―I‘m sorry. I didn‘t mean to -‖

―It‘s fine. It‘s true.‖ He shrugged and held the door to the bio room open for me.

I led the way down the aisle, distracted and worried, when I tripped over Ben Cheney‘s backpack

and hit my chin on the corner of his desk.

I felt Edward‘s arm wrap around my waist and I was on my feet with a bruised chin and a bruised

ego.

Edward turned me toward him and bent his head to inspect my face.

―Let me see,‖ he murmured and brushed his finger along my chin. ―You okay?‖

―I‘m fine. Just embarrassed,‖ I said, all too aware of all the eyes on me.

He kissed my chin, and before I could turn to make my way to our lab table, Ben was apologizing.

―It‘s okay. I wasn‘t looking -‖

Edward kicked Ben‘s backpack under his table.

We both looked at him, shocked.

―Keep your stuff out of the aisle. Someone could get hurt,‖ Edward said coldly, and I stumbled

forward, tossing an apologetic smile to Ben.

―What was that?‖ I hissed as soon as we were seated.

Edward shrugged, and Banner started the class.

I worried and stared and tried to calm my racing heart and my confused mind.

He was shutting me out of something… And I needed him, and he needed me.

The more Banner droned on, the more upset I got.

Edward kept glancing at me, offering limp smiles and light touches, but something wasn‘t right…

My attention finally found focus, when I heard Mr. Banner call Edward‘s name from the front of the

room.

―Well, Mr. Cullen?‖

―Yeah… it‘s…‖ Edward trailed off, his eyes downcast on the table, his forehead creased in
concentration.

The room was silent, as Edward searched his mind for the answer… Then there were hushed
murmurs, and my eyes closed.

Edward never didn’t know an answer.

It simply never happened.

He swiped the back of his hand across his eye in agitation.

―Maybe someone can help Mr. Cullen out here,‖ Mr. Banner said, looking as surprised as everyone

else.

―No. I know it. It‘s… basic… The citric acid cycle is also known as… the tricarboxylic acid cycle or

the Krebs cycle,‖ Edward said.

―Correct, moving on…‖

Edward turned his head to look at me, and I saw tired, angry eyes set in a youthful, flushed,

beautiful face.

Then he got up and walked out.

―You need a hall pass, Mr. Cullen. We don‘t -‖

But he was already out the door.

I grabbed my backpack and rushed up the aisle.

―He‘s sick,‖ I called over my shoulder and bolted out the door, surprised no one stopped me.

―Hey,‖ I called at his back, relieved he couldn‘t move at vampire speed anymore.

He stopped, but didn‘t turn, so I walked to him.

―Go back to class, Bella. You‘ll get in trouble.‖

The high school detention was laughable and ridiculous at this point, and he knew it.

I went to him and took his hand.

―I‘m coming with you.‖

It was quiet for a few seconds.

―I don‘t even know where I‘m going,‖ he whispered so softly, I could barely hear him.

―That‘s okay. We‘ll go there together.‖

He nodded, and without another word, we headed out the door and into his car.

We drove.

We walked.

We drove.

We walked.

All in silence.

My mind was boiling with anxious fear, worry for him, worry for whatever he was thinking, and I

simply didn‘t know what that was, because he hadn‘t said a word since we left the school.

So I just held on tightly to his hand, to his arm, and let him lead me to wherever it was we were

going.

At some point, I must‘ve started to lag, because he stopped, let go of my hand and bent slightly.

―Get on,‖ he said, his back to me.

―I‘m a lot heavier for you now…‖

―Just… get on,‖ he said, and his tone was almost pleading.

It was familiar and different all at the same time.

I clasped my arms around his hot skin and felt his perspiration mix with mine. I felt his ribcage
expand and deflate over and over again between my thighs. I could smell shampoo and sweat in

his hair… All of him human, but still, I knew he was capable of this.

I rested my chin on his shoulder, and he trudged forward in heavy silence… And then I knew where

we were going.

I saw the part in the trees, lush, green grass, and I breathed a sigh of relief.

This was where we needed to be.

Edward stopped walking when we were standing in the middle of the meadow, and I slid down his
back and sat in the dewy grass, not much caring about the cold dampness seeping through my

jeans.

Edward looked up at the sky, overcast and grey, for what seemed like a very long time, and

suddenly, I was longing for him to talk, to say anything.

―Tell me,‖ I said, because it was time.

I was tired of waiting for him to tell me.

I was tired of watching his face go through a thousand different emotions a day and not having any
clue how to help him.

I wanted to know.

Edward walked to the edge of the field and ran his palm along a tree trunk.

―What are you -‖

He did it again, harder, practically grating his skin on the jagged tree bark.

He turned and held up his palm, scratched and muddy.

―Why did you do that?‖

―Anything can hurt me now. Anything.‖

―Well, it wouldn‘t have hurt you if you didn‘t -‖

―You‘re not getting it. You… can‘t possibly understand.‖

―I think I‘ve been more than understanding about everything since the day I met you. You

underestimate me.‖

He laughed darkly and walked back over to me until he hovered just above me.

―I can‘t run anymore. I can‘t fight anything off anymore. I can‘t see or hear danger when it‘s right
in front of my face. I can‘t even answer a damn question in a child‘s biology class. I can‘t be your

hero anymore, Bella.‖

I stood up, angry.

―I never asked you to be. I don‘t need you to be.‖

He raised an eyebrow.

―That one time with the van… And that time in Port Angeles -‖

―The point is, I brought you into this world, and now we‘re stuck here - defenseless. I can‘t even
save you from hitting your face on a desk… How the hell am I supposed to save you from the
Volturi? Or anything else? Because none of this is just going to go away. I‘m forever linked to the

vampire world, except I‘m not as capable as them. It‘s a death sentence… for both of us.‖

―I wanted in your world, Edward, and I don‘t regret it. Not any part of it.‖

He turned from me and walked away, his fists at his eyes.

―Don‘t. Please don‘t turn from me,‖ I said, actually stomping my foot in the marshy ground.

He turned sharply and glared at me with red rimmed eyes.

―What? What do you want me to tell you?‖

―All of it. You‘ve been frustrated and -‖

―I‘m beyond frustrated, Bella! I don‘t know where I belong. I‘m not a vampire, I‘m certainly not a
seventeen year old, human boy… I don‘t even know what the hell I am! I torture members of my

family, simply by existing. I don‘t fit there. I am walking around with the knowledge of one
hundred years and the thoughts of a vampire in a damn high school. I don‘t fit there either! What

the Hell am I supposed to do?‖

He pulled at his hair, and his eyes clamped shut. Then he shook his head and turned again.

And I didn‘t have any answers, so I‘d listen and I‘d try to understand, because that‘s all I could do
for him.

―What do you want?‖ I asked genuinely, because I didn‘t know.

―I want it all. I want to be able to keep you warm in my arms and I want to be able to kiss you
without longing to kill you. I want to marry you and die happily at an old, decrepit age, and I want
to be able rip a tree out of the ground. I want to protect you from everything and I want to hear
the thoughts around me. I want to beat Emmett at wrestling and I want to eat more chalupas. I
want to never have been a vampire and I want to be a vampire, because then I at least stand a
chance at keeping you safe. I want to have children with you and I want to remember my mother

vividly, as I do now. I want it all, Bella, but mostly, I just want you.‖

―You have me. No matter what. I can‘t give you everything, but I can give you me and hope that,

somehow, it‘s enough.‖

―Don‘t you see? You‘re more than enough. You‘re everything… So how can I have you in danger?
How could I have put you here? Yet I did and now I can‘t even get you out. So it is… I lose

everything. I get none of those things.‖

―You‘re acting like we‘ve been condemned.‖

―Haven‘t we, though?‖

―No! No…‖

And I could see, by his dark, stoic expression, he was going to let me believe that, even though he
didn‘t.

―What can we do, Edward? We go on. We live our lives, and whatever will come, will come -‖

―It doesn‘t have to be like that for you,‖ he said, and it took me a moment to realize his intent.

―You can‘t be serious. This can‘t be happening,‖ I said, hearing the panic in my voice.

He was willing to be together as a vampire, but deemed it more dangerous now that he was

human?

No.

No way.

―It‘s what you need, Bella. To stay alive -‖

―And what about you?‖

―What about me? I‘m… I don‘t even know what I am. I don‘t belong here. I don‘t belong

anywhere…‖

―You belong with me.‖

And then these words kept falling out of his mouth, cutting me and choking me, and I had to stop
hearing him, because he didn‘t mean it.

He couldn‘t possibly mean it.

―Stop. Just… shut up. This isn‘t just for you to decide. I‘m here too.‖

―Bella -‖

―Do you love me?‖

―That‘s ridiculous.‖

―I‘ll take that as a yes. I love you. I think it‘s pretty clear that I would die for you.‖

―Don‘t you ever say that! I‘ll never be the reason for your death.‖

I took a deep breath.

―Wouldn‘t you die for me, Edward?‖

―A thousand times over.‖

―Then why can‘t I feel the same?‖

―Because! Because you have opportunity! Life to live -‖

―So do you.‖

―You have a chance of surviving this. I don‘t.‖

―I don‘t believe that. And even if I did, we‘re together. Whatever your fate is, mine is the same. Do

you hear me?‖

―That‘s absurd…‖

―If you walk away from me, I won‘t make it. Either way, I won‘t make it. So we‘re in this together,

or we‘re in this separately, but either way, we meet the same fate.‖

―Are you saying -‖

―I‘m saying I won‘t live without you.‖

―Are you actually threatening to -‖

―I‘m threatening nothing. All I‘m saying is, if you walk away from me, you still haven‘t succeeded

in saving me.‖

It was low, possibly the truth and the only option I had.

I wouldn‘t let him leave me.

―Why are you doing this to me?‖

―I was just thinking the same thing about you,‖ I shot back.

―Bella… I‘m just trying to do one right thing by you. It‘s the only way I can protect you now.‖

―I don‘t want your protection. I just want to be at your side.‖

His eyes closed.

―This is insane.‖

―I know,‖ I said, taking a step closer, my insides rejoicing, because I had won this battle.

Before I could reach him, his arms shot out and pulled me into him tightly, surprising me. A dry,
harsh sob came from his throat, muffled by my hair, and I held onto him tighter. And while it was

true that I understood all he said earlier, it was that one painful, dry sob that made me get it.

Edward was lost.

He was confused and terrified and sad, and at that very moment, I could see it all… I could feel his
torment.

So he clung to me, and I held on tightly, because he was right.

He didn‘t fit anywhere… Anywhere but with me.

He wasn‘t meant for this human life; he was from a different time.

He wasn‘t meant to be a bloodlusting vampire.

He was simply meant for me.

Edward caved in on me and fell to his knees, clutching and clinging at my waist, and the way he
held on, I knew he got it too.

We were each other‘s only hope.

My hands went into his hair, and I gripped with desperation, as warm tears flowed and dripped

down my chin silently.

―I need you,‖ he said into my stomach. ―You‘re right… I need you.‖

His hand, cold and wind burned, slid under my shirt and splayed across my stomach. Then I felt

hot, frantic kisses, up and down, back and forth.

I let my knees give, so we could be eye level… So we could do the only thing we could do.

Love each other.

Edward leaned in and cupped my face in his shaking hands.

His green eyes were glassy, and I hated the sadness there, so I pushed into him too hard and
crushed my lips to his.

His kiss was instantly hot, instantly hard, and his hands moved from my face to my waist, yanking
me closer to him.

He tugged up at the hem of my shirt and pulled it to my chin, then bent his head to kiss my neck
and my chest, the tops of my breasts, and I started to work my arms out of my sleeves, but he

stopped me.

―You‘ll be cold,‖ he murmured, pulling my shirt back down.

―I want to. I need to,‖ I said, not willing to be stopped now.

―Me too,‖ he said, wrapping one hand in the back of my hair and kissing me hard and insistent.

My fingers went to the button on his pants, and I quickly got it undone, then snaked my hand

down to grab him.

―Yeah…‖ he mumbled incoherently, moving against my hand. And then he yanked down sharply on

the waist of my jeans.

I took my hand from him and started to lay back on the soft, wet ground, but his arm quickly

wrapped around my back and straightened me up.

―It‘s wet,‖ he said, his breathing hard, and then he lay on the ground and held his arms open for

me.

I shimmied one leg out of my jeans, while he tugged his own pants down to mid-thigh…

And the whole thing was choppy and fast and sorely lacking in romance… Or maybe the most

romantic experience I‘d ever have, because all that really mattered was that we were connected.

As I lowered myself onto him, and he sighed out in relief, and I whimpered in happiness and in

pleasure, I knew that we would never be in vain.

Even if this ended horribly and terrifying, even if we never lived to see children or marriage, even if
all we ever had was this moment… it had all been worth it.

Sometime later, when I was a crumpled ball on Edward‘s chest, and his breathing was slow, and
his face was made of sweeping calm, his cell phone rang.

He didn‘t move to get it.

―Esme,‖ he muttered.

I kissed his jaw and rifled through his pocket and quickly found the small, silver phone.

―Hello,‖ I said, after flipping it open.

―Put Edward on.‖

It was Alice, who didn‘t sound mad or cold or panicked… She sounded dead - if that‘s possible.

I held the phone to Edward‘s ear.

―Yeah,‖ he greeted.

Then he was leaning up on his elbows, so I shifted to the ground and off of him.

He let out a string of low curses and then he was on his feet, the phone still to his ear, as he

tugged at his collar and rubbed hard at his jaw with the back of his hand.

His eyes grew wide. Then he looked down at me, then quickly away.

He snapped the phone shut and pulled me up by my arm.

―Edward…‖

He buttoned my jeans and straightened my shirt.

―We need to get home. Now.‖

Chapter 10.

BPOV

―Put your seat belt on,‖ Edward said, and the tires were already squealing, as we peeled onto the

road.

―You too,‖ I said.

Edward kept one hand on the wheel and seamlessly clicked his seatbelt into place, his eyes never

leaving the road.

―What‘s going on? What did she say?‖

―I don‘t - we‘ll find out when we get there,‖ he said.

―But… we‘re together. No matter what it is, we stick together,‖ I said, reminding him.

He said nothing, and I sat in a silent panic, breathing hard and shallow, until we plowed into the

Cullens‘ winding drive.

Edward rushed me out of the car and up to the door, then suddenly paused for a minute and

squeezed my hand tightly.

―I love you, Bella,‖ he said.

I looked up at his green eyes, his wild, dark, windblown hair, and let my eyes wander to his full,

red mouth and the sharp curve of his jaw and the shadows under his eyes.

―I love you too.‖

Then he opened the door.

We found Carlisle, Esme, Jasper and Alice, all still as statues, in the living room, all of their eyes

frozen on us.

My heart pounded in my chest, and the panic grew and made me shake, because something was

very, very wrong.

Edward wrapped his arm around me, and I felt his lips press to the top of my head.

Alice started to speak.

―Do not panic. We have things under control,‖ she started, and I felt my heart calm, as Jasper‘s

eyes focused on me.

―Just say it, Alice,‖ I said. I couldn‘t bear it anymore.

―I wasn‘t looking for your red shirt. I was looking for a scent. Which I found. In your room. Your

house. All over -‖

―Jesus,‖ Edward gasped, and his arm dropped from my side. ―While I was there? Right in front of

my face?‖

―You couldn‘t have known, Edward,‖ Alice said, but I could already see him blaming himself for

things he had no control over. ―I didn‘t even see it coming. She -‖

―She?‖ Edward asked.

―Victoria.‖

The air left my lungs in a painful whoosh, and I felt my knees wobble. Then I was on the couch,

thanks to Carlisle.

Edward stood, the heels of his hands pressed into his eyes.

―I didn‘t see it, because she keeps changing course. She keeps changing up her plan, probably to

throw me off -‖

―W-What does she want?‖ I asked mildly under Jaspers control.

―Revenge. For her mate, James. More specifically, she wants you. She wants to take you from
Edward. A mate for a mate. She wants to destroy him, any which way she can. She‘s the one who
informed the Volturi of Edward‘s change, so even if she gets to him first, the Volturi will still come

down on our family for harboring the secret… She‘s covered everything.‖

―What do we do? How can we -‖

―She has Laurent with her and she‘s created a newborn - maybe two. It‘s hazy, I can‘t be sure… I
see her coming for you in three days, maybe six - it changes - but she‘s here. In Forks. Her plan
could change at any time. What I‘m saying is, if she decides to strike in the next hour… I mean,
she could. Or she could wait another weak, train her new fighters… You two have to come to

Seattle with us. Now.‖

―What?‖

―I have your things packed. I convinced Charlie to let you stay with me, while my family goes

camping for a week. You‘ll call him everyday -‖

―Wait,‖ I gasped, because this was all happening too fast.

―Bella, we don‘t have time -‖

―She‘ll find us in Seattle.‖

―I know that. But we need the time. She has at least one very strong newborn vampire and

Laurent. We need to prepare to…‖

―Fight…‖ I breathed out.

―Take Bella to Seattle. I have to stay here with Carlisle,‖ Edward said, sharp and sudden.

―No! Edward! Together, we stick together -‖

―Oh!‖ Alice uttered.

I whipped my head to her frozen face. Her eyes were glazed over and seeing past everything,

except a vision.

Had someone finally settled on a decision?

Edward crouched in front of me, blocking my view from Alice, and a part of my mind realized it
seemed intentional.

―I have to stay here. The Volturi will be coming to check on me. Carlisle has an amicable
relationship with Aro -‖

―What… what if Victoria comes here?‖

―We have two vampires per one human, Bella,‖ Carlisle said.

―But… but they have a strong newborn. If you four are separated, no matter where they show up,

there will only be two of you - Alice and Jasper, or you and Esme.‖

―I feel confident in all of us,‖ Carlisle said.

I craned my neck to see past Edward‘s shoulder.

Alice was staring at him, her head shaking no slightly, incredulously.

―Edward?‖ she asked.

He looked over his shoulder at her.

―I‘m right. It‘s the only way? Isn‘t it, Alice?‖

―I… It is,‖ she said quietly.

―No… no, there has to be another way. I won‘t leave without him,‖ I said.

―Bella, I‘ve seen it. Any other way - it doesn‘t work. It ends badly. You can come with me willingly,

or I can take you. Either way, you‘re coming to Seattle.‖

―Edward… Edward, please -‖

―It will work. Please. Please, go. For me, Bella. For me,‖ he said, his eyes blazing into mine, his

face a beautiful, pleading mask.

―Edward…‖

―Can we have a minute?‖ Edward asked his family, but his eyes stayed on mine.

―Edward, there isn‘t any time to waste -‖

―I need a minute,‖ he snapped.

―Bring her to the car. We‘ll be waiting,‖ Alice sighed.

We were alone in the next instant, and Edward pulled me to my feet.

―I don‘t think I can do it,‖ I rushed, my fingers knotting in his shirt. ―I can‘t leave you here, I -‖

He cut me off by cupping my neck and very quickly and gently pulling me into him.

His head bent slightly, and I felt his warm lips brush at my ear.

―I need you to listen very closely to me, Bella. Can you do that?‖ he whispered.

I nodded weakly, my hands tightening even more in his shirt.

―My mother hummed Chopin while she cooked. Every day she wore an emerald pendant, because
she said it reminded her of the color of my eyes. She smelled like lilac and cookies, and she wore
huge ridiculous hats to church every Sunday. She was the only person who could make my father
laugh, and we argued constantly about my joining the military. She worried too much and laughed
too much, and she was lovely… Remember all of that, Bella, for me. But above all else, remember

that I love you.‖

―Edward?‖

I was confused and I couldn‘t make sense out of any of this. Then he was kissing me intense and
deep and soft, and I kissed and clung to him, until he pulled away and led me out of the house

without another word.

Alice was leaning on her car, looking impatient, and Jasper was already in the passenger‘s seat.

Alice opened the door, and I wrapped my arms around Edward‘s neck tightly. My eyes squeezed

shut, and I knew I wouldn‘t let go until someone made me.

Edward pulled back, breaking my grip, and took my hand and placed it over his beating heart.

His eyes closed, and a small, sad smile played at his lips.

―Do you feel it?‖ he whispered.

―I do.‖

He kind of nodded, then let his warm lips linger on mine for too short of time and then helped me

into the back seat.

I watched from the window, as Edward bent his head, and Alice whispered something into his ear.

She leaned up and put her lips to his forehead, then she was in the car.

―I love you,‖ Edward mouthed to me, but my tears and sobs were too thick - I couldn‘t say it back,

but he knew I meant it.

We pulled out, and I turned in the seat, watching him get farther and farther from me.

I memorized him as he was in that moment…

His hands were shoved in his pockets, his shoulders were tense and high, his dark hair was wild

and thick, and his eyes were green and wet…

―It‘s the only way, Bella,‖ Alice said from the driver‘s seat. ―Just… trust me. It‘s for the best.‖

Chapter 11.

EPOV

I stood there with a beating, breaking heart and more guilt than my body should be able to hold.

I failed her.

I brought her into this mess as a vampire and then… as a human, I failed her again.

They were in her house… In her damn room.

And then, of course, I didn‘t tell her what I was about to do next… I lied, by omission, but it was

still a lie.

But there wasn‘t time to tell her. What could I say to her, except ‗I give my life for yours‘?

It wouldn‘t have gone over well. She could hate me later; at least she‘d be alive to hate me - that‘s

the only thing that mattered.

I ran inside before the guilt and the pain could paralyze me. I ran to the only option I had, the only

way that was left to save her.

I found Esme and Carlisle back in the living room, holding each other, whispering fast back and

forth.

―Oh, Edward,‖ Esme sighed sadly, when she saw the state I was in.

―I‘m fine. I‘ll be fine. Carlisle, I need you to do it again. I need you to take me again.‖

Esme clapped a hand over her mouth, then froze.

―What? No. No, Edward, for a thousand reasons… No,‖ Carlisle said, looking horrified.

―I don‘t have time to argue this, Carlisle. Frankly, I think the three day transformation is pushing it

too…‖

―Edward, I don‘t think you‘ll survive another transformation. This isn‘t a game, you‘re not a shape-

shifter.‖

―I know that. And death is a risk I gladly take. Human or vampire, I‘m going to them, Carlisle. I
think I stand a much better chance as a vampire, but with or without your help, one way or
another, my heart stops beating for her. Whether I‘m a human corpse or a vampire is your
decision.‖

Carlisle‘s face was somehow angry and sad at the same time, and I knew I was beyond disgusting
for putting this at his feet, but it was the only way.

―What about the Volturi?‖ Carlisle asked, trying to corner me.

―What about them? Alice doesn‘t predict them until the end of next week, and I‘ll be a vampire by
then… And even if they come earlier, I can‘t just sit here and wait for them. I only stayed behind so
you‘d change me. I never intended to wait for them.‖

―Edward, I don‘t know if I can do it again. I don‘t know if I can take life from you again. You‘re
healthy, it just -‖

―You‘re the one always saying vampires have souls, Carlisle…‖

―Edward -‖

―They lose without me. Alice saw it. As soon as I made up my mind to become a vampire again,

she saw us defeating them. She saw us all alive. Without me, they die.‖

―So that was your little exchange… You made the decision.‖

I nodded shortly.

―But… Edward, Alice‘s vision is based on your intention to change. What if you don‘t survive the

transformation?‖

―I don‘t survive either way, then,‖ I said, getting frustrated. He was wasting time, talking me in
circles. ―If I don‘t change, we die. If I do change successfully, we survive. There is only one

option.‖

―Why does it hinge on you?‖ Esme asked, finally coming out of her stone position. ―What if Carlisle

and I went to fight -‖

―It wouldn‘t be enough. Don‘t you see what I‘ll be? Esme, I‘ll be a skilled vampire with the strength

of a newborn. I‘ll be unstoppable.‖

―What makes you so sure you won‘t be wild, uncontrollable?‖

―The bloodlust will most likely be bad,‖ I said, willing myself not to think of that, of what it could
mean for Bella and me. ―But… I‘m almost certain I‘ll retain the techniques, the skills.‖

―What if you don‘t?‖

―I still have a better chance than as a human! I can‘t talk about this anymore… There just isn‘t

time. If you won‘t do it, I‘ll leave and go to them now.‖

―I can do it,‖ Carlisle said, and my chest caved in relief and fear.

―Carlisle -‖ Esme started.

―We can‘t lose them all, Esme. We can‘t,‖ he said, sounding resigned… sad.

She kind of gave a horrified nod.

―Edward, understand I don‘t know that this will work… And if it does, I have no idea what the
transformation will be like…‖

―Then let‘s find out, now.‖

―For over a hundred years, I didn‘t ever really know if I did the right thing by you, Edward… And I

don‘t know that what I‘m about to do is right… It‘s all you ever wanted, isn‘t it? To be human?‖

―Carlisle, I‘m in love,‖ I said simply, and because it was the truth and it would make him see.

A sad smile found Esme, and Carlisle seemed reassured.

―I think… I think I‘d like to sleep. If you have something to—―

―Of course. Of course, Edward,‖ Carlisle said.

Five minutes later I was on the couch, waiting to be injected, to be put out, put to sleep, damned.

Carlisle tied a tourniquet tightly around my arm, and Esme hovered over me, whispering weakly.

―You‘re the bravest, most selfless person I know, Edward… I‘m proud - I am honored to consider

you mine,‖ she said, before planting her icy lips on my forehead. ―I love you.‖

Then she disappeared from my sight.

And I waited.

To be stripped of tears and warmth and hunger and sweat and pain and weakness and strength
and humanity… but love would always remain. I knew for certain I would always be capable of love

for Bella, and that was all that mattered.

Carlisle lightly flicked a syringe once… twice.

My eyes squeezed shut, and my mind raced quickly, grasping at every memory, every feeling - I

wanted to feel all of it - one last time.

Unrestrained running at that damn school, quiet hallways in my quiet mind, cold water running
down my throat, waking in the morning, the heavy ache of exhaustion and that warm relief that

sleep brought, that rush of adrenaline that only a human with mortality could experience…

Images of Elizabeth ran like a freight train through my mind, flashing quick and painful, and I

regretted not letting myself think of her more when I was able to.

I remembered her scent, her laugh, her tears and her gaunt, grey face the morning she died…

And then everything was Bella.

Having her warm against me, breathing her in without pain - only want - kissing her with all of me,
letting her kiss me back as hard and as long as she wanted to, holding her as tightly as I could
without having to even consider I could be hurting her… My body inside of hers, wound together in
those intense, amazing ways I didn‘t even know were possible… And a very tiny part of me was

glad I wouldn‘t remember that in three days, because I couldn‘t bear to know what I was missing.

But it had come to this, because I put us here. So sex and kissing and holding - all of those things

meant nothing compared to just keeping her alive.

I saw her smile in the back of my eyelids, warm and inviting.

I saw her brown, wide eyes looking at me with the desperation they always seemed to harbor.

I‘ll be there, Bella… I promise.

I cannot fail you again.

Hold on, Bella, hold on… I‘m coming for you.

Then I felt a prick at my arm, and the vision behind my lids got hazy. It blurred and wavered, and I

silently promised I‘d see her soon.

―Goodbye again, my Edward… my son,‖ I heard Carlisle breathe and I heard him pray to God

quietly for me, for himself… for all of us.

And then I heard nothing at all.

Chapter 12.

BPOV

I suppose all anyone is ever really doing is waiting for death.

I mean, the moment you‘re born, you‘re dying; that‘s all you‘re really working toward.

Yet somehow, when death is imminent, all that goes out the window, and your mind and your body

struggle against it. Even though it‘s inevitable, you simply can‘t make yourself understand that.

So… if we‘re all supposed to die, why is it so primal and so instinctive to strive against it?

Maybe death isn‘t for all of us.

Maybe some of us are supposed to be immortal.

Or so I told myself, as I stared at Jasper and Alice, still as stones in an expensive penthouse hotel

room in Seattle.

My mind, calm thanks to Jasper, had been pondering and wandering for ten hours now.

Ten hours.

There was no way I could last the better part of a week.

I stared some more at the glowing television and shifted on the bed and waited.

For a fight.

For death.

For whatever would come.

―You could call Charlie,‖ Alice suggested again.

―I talked to Charlie. Twice today. That‘s more than I talk to him at home.‖

―Well, you could -‖

―I want to call Edward,‖ I said, glaring at Alice‘s guarded cell phone.

―I told you I just talked to Esme. He‘s asleep.‖

―Well, tell her to wake him up,‖ I snapped.

―Bella, he‘s coping in his own way. Let him.‖

―This is ridiculous! I could be stuck here for another six days! Alice, if they‘re going to come and kill
us, the least they could do is be courteous and not make us wait on them.‖

―We‘re not going to be killed, Bella,‖ Alice sighed. ―And it won‘t be six days.‖

―Did you see something?‖ I asked, bolting upright.

―Relax, Bella, I -‖

She was cut off by the chiming of her cell phone.

―Is it him? It‘s him. Let me talk,‖ I said, launching myself at Alice.

She was across the room in the same instant, shooting me a rather annoyed look, as she flipped

open her phone.

―Carlisle… No, I can‘t see any of it… What?! Impossible… Cracking? … I don‘t understand. Is he… I
see. Let me figure out what this means for us now… Take care, Carlisle.‖ Alice flipped the phone

shut, her face grave, and Jasper was hovering over her, concerned and cautious.

I watched Alice‘s tiny frame fold in on to Jasper and for the first time ever, I saw despair… grief on

her delicate face.

―What?‖ I gasped.

She ignored me and looked up at Jasper. They exchanged words too low and fast for me to hear,

but I knew whatever it was, it was awful.

―It was his choice, Alice.‖

She kind of nodded, but didn‘t move, other than that.

―We have to keep Bella safe… for him. It‘s what we can do for Edward now.‖

―You have to tell me,‖ I bleated, my hands wringing and my heart pounding. ―Is it Edward? The
Volturi came! They came for him, and it‘s not okay like you said, Alice! I told him to come with us.
I -‖

―Just relax, Bella,‖ Alice snapped. ―I have to concentrate -‖

―You have to tell me!‖ I sobbed and writhed on the bed, and I knew I hadn‘t even comprehended

anything yet.

―I have to figure this… I will get you through this. Just… let me think.‖

Then Jasper turned his gaze on me, and I was inexplicably and frustratingly at peace.

I listened, not quite able to grasp what was going on. I could only feel a painful stab in my

stomach, but somehow, the emotion couldn‘t reach my mind… But physically, I was in agony.

―It‘s all sped up, Jasper. This changes everything,‖ Alice said, her eyes wide.

―It‘s… good. We just stay ahead. Victoria can‘t possibly know yet. We have to use it to our

advantage.‖

―But… I don‘t know if Edward - I don‘t know if his intentions are the same. I don‘t know that he‘ll

be - I just don‘t know.‖

―Then we fight. As we planned.‖

―But without - we lose. That I do know.‖

―What choice do we have, Alice? Victoria is coming for her either way, whether Edward is -‖

―None. We have no choice.‖

―We have to get back. Now. We stand a better chance with Carlisle and Esme. If we‘re all together,
we at least stand a chance,‖ Jasper said. ―We could win. Like you said, everything has changed.‖

And then they were up and flying around the room, packing things up and packing me up, and then
we were walking out the door.

―Somebody talk to me, in a sentence. Now,‖ I cut in, struggling against Alice‘s icy grip.

―Just make it out to the car quickly, please,‖ Alice said, dragging me along, while Jasper followed

with the suitcase I never even needed.

―Come on… Come on,‖ Alice growled at her speedometer, which was already pushing 110 mph.

Jasper was in the backseat with me, his eyebrows furrowed in concentration on me.

It occurred to me he must be using a lot of energy trying to keep me calm.

Then it occurred to me he didn‘t need to.

My fate was sealed the second I pieced together the Volturi came for Edward.

Victoria… this fight - none of that mattered to me anymore.

He was gone.

And all that was in me was gone too.

There was no panic, no fear, no anxiousness… There was nothing.

I watched the trees pass in a blur and realized we must be nearing Forks.

But it didn‘t mean home anymore.

It meant nothing.

There was nothing for me here… or anywhere.

If Edward was gone, I was gone too.

I wondered what they did to him, and then I stopped, because it was too painful to think of, so I

just prayed he hadn‘t had any pain.

I didn‘t speak - they wouldn‘t answer my questions anyway.

So I just waited in the backseat, while they buzzed tactics and plans for a fight that would never

happen. I simply wouldn‘t be here to fight over.

I found it surreal, how at some point in the last ten hours, Edward - my reason for existence - had

simply stopped existing, and I hadn‘t even known it.

I wondered exactly when it happened, and I wondered if they were just waiting for me to not be at

his side before they struck.

I never should have left.

I sighed and let my head rest against the cold window, and my eyes closed.

At least he experienced human life. No matter how brief it was, he did… And while it was so wrong
that he wasn‘t here anymore, at least I had that tiny bit of solace… Not that it helped.

The car suddenly screeched to a stop in the middle of the dark, empty road.

I jerked forward, then back, then I found myself staring at the high school.

―Alice? Oh!‖ Jasper said, then inhaled deeply.

―Newborns,‖ Alice hissed, and her eyes searched out the windshield.

―Get her out,‖ Alice said, but Jasper was already yanking me out of the car.

―At least four… Two new,‖ Jasper said and swung me into his arms and ran toward the school.

I jostled and bruised in his steel arms, not able to work up the fear I was sure I was supposed to

have.

Alice kicked open the steel door to the dark, deserted school, and Jasper ran me inside with Alice

behind us.

All I could think was how different the dark hallways looked.

Empty.

Like life never went on at all here.

Then we passed Edward‘s locker in a blur, and I cried out without even knowing it was coming…

Because how could he be gone?

―It‘s okay, Bella. It‘s okay,‖ Alice was saying, but it wasn‘t.

We reached the end of the long hallway, and Jasper kicked the door open to the biology lab.

―They‘re inside,‖ Jasper whispered to Alice.

She nodded and, without meeting my eyes, took me from Jasper‘s arms and put me on my feet.

―Listen very carefully to me, Bella. Do not leave this room. No matter what you hear, do not leave

this room until Jasper or I come for you.‖

I stared blankly at her.

Edward was gone.

Where was I going to go?

I had nowhere to be anymore.

―Do you hear -‖

Alice was cut off by the most menacing sounds I‘d ever heard.

Growls.

Hisses.

Feral snarling and Hell.

Jasper‘s lips pulled back over his teeth, and a rumble came from his chest.

Jasper was going to fight.

Then everything was absolutely silent and still, and it was right - as the world should‘ve been in

this blackest hour.

A complete and empty standstill.

―Riley… Bree… end of the hall,‖ a voice boomed out, smooth and strong and with a slight French

accent.

Oh.

Laurent.

―Lock this door,‖ Alice said, her black eyes narrowed and sharp, and I briefly wondered how in the

Hell she had any fight left to give.

Jasper flew out the door, and Alice followed, and I stood there for about two seconds, before I

walked calmly to the door and locked it.

And I only did it because she asked me to.

Alice and I both knew a lock was the equivalent to an open door to a vampire.

But she asked me to, and it was the last thing I would ever do for her, so I did it.

Then I crossed the room and sat at Edward‘s spot at the lab table in the dark.

I laid my head on the cool, black top and I cried.

I cried, because he was gone.

I cried, because he was so good, and his existence was too brief and too painful, and he deserved

so much more.

I cried, because it was just too much of a waste… It was too much for this world to bear.

I cried for Elizabeth and for Esme, because they both would be damned if it meant saving him, but
neither of them succeeded… Because two mothers had lost their one son over and over… and how

could that be justifiable?

I cried for Carlisle, who would never forgive himself for giving Edward immortality, and because he

would never forgive himself for not being able to protect him.

I cried for myself, because for too short of a time I lived in this flawed Heaven with him and I could

never go back. I could never be without him now, not when I‘d always know how good life can be.

I cried for Alice and Jasper, whose fighting and courage and selflessness were all in vain right now,

because they were fighting for me alone now, and I didn‘t even have the will to fight for myself.

But mostly, I just cried for him and for all of the things he never had and should have had.

When I was dry, and everything on me hurt, I just let my cheek lay on the table top and watched
my tears dry, while my body instinctively jumped and shuddered at the muffled growling and

hissing noises echoing out in the hallways.

We were all lost now.

I couldn‘t think of the pointless war out there, of the damage being done to the people I loved, for
no reason, so I thought of Charlie and Renee and all the ways I should say goodbye, but I knew I

wouldn‘t.

I prayed and I apologized and I hurt and I waited.

And then I heard my name, closer and clearer than the sounds of the fight down the hall.

―Bella?‖

It was soft and feminine and welcoming, and made me shiver.

I lifted my head, and my eyes, blurry and wet and burning, focused on the sliver of window on the

door.

Two bright red eyes seemed to glow in the dark at me… and I knew it was her.

With feet I couldn‘t feel, and a mind that was already made up, I walked to the door with calm,

shallow breaths.

Victoria smiled sweetly and genuinely through the glass.

I almost smiled back.

She was here for revenge… I was after salvation… Funny, how it was the same thing right now.

We‘d both get what we wanted in the same act.

―Isabella…‖ she chimed in a sing song voice.

My hand went to the lock on the door, and all the bullshit about resisting imminent death was
gone, because I realized it wasn‘t death I was resisting… It was losing Edward that my body had

been objecting to.

He was gone.

My resistance to death was gone with him.

The only instinct I had was to follow him wherever he went.

―Forgive me, Alice,‖ I whispered, ultimately denying the final request Alice had asked of me.

―Unlock the door, Bella,‖ Victoria crooned, her full mouth still smiling and warm, her wild, red hair

dancing and framing her exquisite face.

I suppose she could‘ve just opened it herself, but this was my choice.

This was me, opening the door back to Edward… Wherever he was, I could only hope with

everything I had we‘d end up in the same place.

I love you.

For you.

I love you.

For you.

I love you.

And then I unlocked the door and let my death walk in.

Chapter 13.

BPOV

Victoria stepped into the room, graceful and slow, then turned and shut the door again… Like we

needed privacy for this.

I couldn‘t bring myself to step away from her.

Death – murder - radiated from her very being, and perversely enough, I was attracted to it.

―Good girl,‖ she said, her head gesturing slightly to the door I‘d just unlocked.

She flashed a white, sharp, dazzling smile, and my limbs locked.

―He‘s not here,‖ she stated, looking almost disappointed. ―I see my message was successfully

delivered to the Volturi.‖

Then I felt something.

Hate.

And not because she was about to kill me - that I welcomed. I hated her, because she was

responsible for Edward‘s death.

It boiled and bubbled in me for half a second, before I couldn‘t bear it anymore.

Then I promptly and childishly did the only thing I could.

I spit on her.

She hissed at me and swiped my drool from her cheek. Then her face turned serene.

―Your fluids won‘t affect me. You‘re not my singer… You‘re not even that appealing, to be honest,
but I‘ll drain you. I will take every, last drop of life from you, as they did to James. And when I‘m

done, I‘ll see that the rest of them are destroyed as well.‖

I lifted my chin and let my head tilt.

I offered myself - not to her, but to Edward.

―What‘s this? I think I at least warrant a scream. Maybe a kick?‖

―You warrant nothing. You want revenge, take it. I‘m already dead.‖

She paused and stared at me for a split second. Then her high, tinkling laughter filled the room.

―They really got him,‖ she reveled in between giddy giggles.

―They did,‖ I spat.

―Well, this changes things. There is one thing worse than death, Isabella, and that is to live
forever… when your mate has perished. Believe me, I know all about this. You harbor the hope that

once I kill you, you‘ll be with him, as he is gone…‖

She circled slowly around me, talking slowly, taking her time.

―But, Bella, darling, what if you‘re not sentenced to death? What if I sentence you to forever?
Without him.”

My stomach clenched and jerked painfully, my eyes burned and squeezed shut.

No.

No.

No.

She could simply choose to just… bite me.

And then… then I‘d never be with him.

I‘d be stuck here… without Edward… forever.

All of the numbness I felt for his death turned to sharp, ripping pain, as I realized the weight of

what she was about to do.

―It wouldn‘t be hard to do… Like I said, you‘re not that appealing -‖

She was cut off by a deafening crash. It sounded like a crumbling wall and it made the room

tremble and my insides vibrate and thrash.

I cupped my hands over my ears and fell with a thud to my knees.

―Did you hear that, Bella?‖ she asked excitedly, nudging my knee with her toe. ―Your family is
losing. You,‖ she giggled, ―will be all alone. Forever. Not one single Cullen left to snuggle up with…

Oh! Oh, this is better than my original plan!‖

She danced around me, giddy, and I started to writhe and panic.

She couldn‘t just…

She would.

Because she was right.

Immortality all alone was the worst fate I could imagine.

The ultimate revenge.

―Isabella, be a dear and stand up,‖ Victoria sighed.

I kicked my leg out and got her shin, sending a stabbing, sharp pain from my toes to my hip.

―Ahh, now you fight. Clearly, I figured out the perfect revenge. This is almost silly. Never had I
thought it would be you fighting me to kill you. I mean, I‘m delighted, but I have to say, I‘m sad
Edward isn‘t here to see it.‖

She ranted, and I slowly scooted on the floor, away from her… not even intentionally.

I just knew I had to stay human, until I could die.

I couldn‘t be immortal without him.

So I was shying away from life, scooting toward death.

Victoria turned quickly, and her head snapped to look down at me.

Those crimson eyes bore into me, and her lip pulled back over her teeth.

―Bella, you can‘t hide.‖

I kept slowly creeping back, while she inched forward, her face amused.

―You know… you can‘t get away from any of it. Even when you‘ve turned, your memories of him
will be dim, but, Bella, you‘ll never get away from that void. You won‘t completely forget him. That

pain… It will always be there, haunting… It‘ll follow you and it will torment you… forever.‖

I hadn‘t realized I had scooted myself under a lab table, until Victoria crouched down directly in

front of me.

One icy finger ran down my cheek, and she smiled, almost as a mother would to her scared child.

―So breakable,‖ she mused, ―but not for long.‖

I jerked my face away from her touch, and she hissed, while I scrambled further back under the

table - another pointless effort.

Victoria growled in annoyance, and I felt myself curl into a tight ball underneath the lab table.

I watched from between my knees, as one white, small hand reached forward to grab at me.

My eyes squeezed shut, but I never felt the icy grip on my body… Instead, I heard a deafening

crack and a booming crash, as the door to the classroom had been kicked off the hinges.

With the crash still echoing in the room, my eyes flew open, and Victoria spun quickly toward the

door, still in her crouching attack stance.

―Victoria,‖ a low, smooth, melodic voice came from the doorway, and the tone was calmly

menacing, but I didn‘t feel panic… I felt intense relief and comfort and exaltation…

And the fight and the feeling poured back into my veins, and my fists clenched, and my teeth

gritted, and I wasn‘t ready to die anymore… because I heard that voice…

I knew that voice.

Familiar and unfamiliar all at once.

I loved that voice.

My body spasmed and screamed and rejoiced…

Edward.

―Impossible,‖ Victoria hissed and wailed, and I watched her back tense in preparation for attack.

I had to see.

I had to see for myself.

I craned my neck and peered with blurry eyes past Victoria.

A shock of wild, unkempt, bronze hair.

White, marble skin practically glowing in the dark, radiating power and anger and predator.

Deep ruby, shining eyes with purple, bruise like shadows underneath, creating intense depth.

And lastly, an easy, crooked grin, urging and tempting, cool and calm.

―You‘ve been starting rumors about me, Victoria. I hate that.‖

Chapter 14.

BPOV

Like a flash, Victoria took off down the aisle, between the lab tables… And then, from my dark,

cramped spot under the table, I could see him clearly, unobstructed.

I gasped, when his red eyes locked on mine.

Edward… all the same… and all so different…

In a split second, his head cocked to the side, and he was completely still.

Not even taking a single breath.

Before I could even fathom what had happened, Edward was taking quick, long strides down the

aisle, his eyes locked on Victoria, his beautiful face a storm of anger.

I crawled from half way under the table to see, to keep my eyes on him, to make sure he was

really here.

I watched him walk to her and I wanted to scream for him to stop.

To be careful.

To run.

Then I saw his left hand reach out to his side, and with three fingers and a slight flick of the wrist

and a deafening crash, he upturned a lab table.

Then another.

Then another.

He kept striding toward her, leaving a path of destruction and loud crashes in his wake.

His posture never wavered, and there was an odd air of calm rage about him. I‘d never seen

Edward destructive… I‘d never seen Edward quite like this.

Against the wall, Victoria crouched and hissed, and Edward slowed his approach, not cautiously,

more curiously.

―No. You had it right,‖ he said, and I realized he was reading her mind - he had it all back. ―It was
me you saw sleeping… It was me you saw with green eyes and tanned skin… And it was me you

tried to have executed. It didn‘t work,‖ he said, and I could hear the grin in his voice.

―They‘re gone. You‘re on your own. Against me,‖ Edward continued, and Victoria let out a piercing

screech of rage, and her crouching position tensed and tightened.

She sprang forward in a blur of fiery hair and white skin, and before the panicked cry could leave
my throat, she was turned and facing me. Edward had one hand at her neck and one wrapped
tightly around her waist, his lips at her ear, and to anyone else it would‘ve looked like a romantic
embrace.

She hissed and thrashed, but his arms didn‘t even waver around her, and he kind of smiled an
erratic, menacing smile, his red eyes burned intensely - somewhere between hate and amusement

- as she continued to struggle.

I was motionless, partly sheltered by the lab table, unable to look away.

―Fool!‖ Victoria shrieked. ―You were a fool to give it up.‖

Edward‘s arms tightened around her, and he jerked her closer to him.

―Anything I give up will never be enough,‖ he growled in her ear. ―Bella will live. I win everything.‖

―For a human girl? James is gone because of a human -‖

And then she kicked her legs out and at me, her rage with me too much.

―Turn away, Bella,‖ Edward said, but his voice was muffled by the skin of Victoria‘s neck.

And though I should have, I couldn‘t turn away. I couldn‘t not look.

Edward gave an exasperated sigh, and Victoria bucked hard, and then his patience ran out.

There was a grinding squeal when his teeth sank into her neck, and my eyes met her red, bulging

eyes… And then I had to look away.

Edward was killing her.

The grinding and hissing continued, and I clapped my hands over my ears and squeezed my eyes

shut until there was silence, and I could actually feel the stillness around me.

As odd and surreal as it was, I felt peaceful, as I slowly opened my eyes. I felt the calm after the

storm, and all I wanted - all I needed - was to go to him.

My murderer.

My savior.

I scooted out from under the table and shakily got to my feet.

I looked down the aisle, which was filled with the debris and wreckage from Edward‘s rage, and I

saw him staring at me, looking horrified – terrified - at me.

After what he‘d just done, took on Victoria without a shadow of fear, he looked frightened of me.

―Edward,‖ I said, stepping over some rubble, trying just to get to him.

He took a step backward, and I noticed the white, shredded marble and fiery locks of hair at his

feet.

―Go,‖ Edward said, and his hand roughly raked through his already disheveled hair, making it curl
and spike - much like his apparent agitation.

―Edward? I…‖ I didn‘t understand.

I wasn‘t scared. Didn‘t he know that?

I moved forward to him, and his bright eyes widened, and he moved back again.

―What? What is it?‖ I asked, starting to worry, and in my haste to get to him, I moved faster.

Then I promptly tripped over a scrap of lab table and landed with a heavy thud on my palms… on a
jagged piece of wood.

―Dammit,‖ Edward growled, and I looked up to see him glaring at me, his throat slightly
constricting and his jaw locking and unlocking.

―Hell,‖ I muttered, getting to my feet and clenching my stinging palm.

―Go! Get out!‖ Edward hissed through clenched teeth.

―Edward -‖

―Alice,‖ Edward called, but his eyes were on my balled fist.

I squeezed tighter and felt the warm, sticky blood in my palm.

Oh.

―Edward, you won‘t hurt me…‖

―I will. Just… go. Leave. Alice!‖ he hissed again, but this time he slowly took a step toward me.

And I knew he wasn‘t approaching to comfort me or kiss me or hold me, but still, I didn‘t move.

―Run,‖ he said quietly, taking another step, and I held my uninjured hand out to him.

―Edward…‖

I would give him whatever part of me he wanted.

―Bella… go,‖ he pleaded with a dry sob, as the back of his hands pressed into his eyes.

―I can‘t,‖ I whispered and I couldn‘t.

I could not make myself leave him.

I knew I could die, but that decision had already been made months ago. I was willing to die for

him, as he was for me.

―Alice!‖ Edward thundered in the quiet, making me jump, and I started to smell thick, bitter smoke

waft into the room.

Fire?

Alice and Jasper came into the room in a blur, and before the relief of seeing them both alive and

unharmed could completely wash over me, Alice was scooping me up in her arms.

―Don‘t breathe, Jasper,‖ she was saying, and I noticed she wasn‘t breathing herself.

I squeezed my hand tighter and cradled it to my chest wordlessly.

―Get. Her. Out,‖ Edward told Alice, his eyes darting to Jasper, then back to me.

―Of course. There is already a fire started in the hallway for the others,‖ Alice said, her head

nodding toward Victoria‘s dismembered corpse.

―We got this… Just go,‖ Jasper said, and I noticed Edward had already started gathering pieces.

Alice ran… and she didn‘t stop until we reached her car.

―Are you okay?‖ she asked, rolling down both windows of the car.

―Yeah…‖ I trailed off, as a heavy daze was descending on my mind.

Edward was a vampire again.

Victoria was dead.

I was still alive, still human.

I didn‘t know what any of it meant for me just yet.

―The school is destroyed,‖ I mused quietly, because it was the only thing I could think to say.

―Edward and Jasper will take care of that. It‘ll look like vandals. We‘ll make an anonymous
donation to pay for the damages,‖ Alice said, and I couldn‘t even be surprised that at a time like

this. The Cullen family would be thinking of the courteous thing to do.

―He wanted me to leave,‖ I said, more to myself than to Alice.

―He needed you to leave, Bella. He‘s a newborn again. It‘s -‖

―You knew. You knew he was going to do it,‖ I said, not mad, not sad, more numb.

I wasn‘t sure how I felt. I just knew it didn‘t matter if he was human, vampire - whatever. He was

alive, and that‘s all I ever really cared about.

―I saw it at the house, and, Bella, it was the only way. Don‘t -‖

―I‘m not mad,‖ I said quietly.

―He saved us,‖ Alice said. ―We were losing. We wouldn‘t have made it if he didn‘t -‖

―Thank you, Alice,‖ I blurted suddenly.

She risked her life.

Jasper risked his.

Edward saved us all.

All for me.

And the weight of all of it fell on me, and I was sobbing and rocking in the passenger‘s seat, trying

to wrap my mind around all of this.

For all they risked… For all Edward had given up…

I couldn‘t catch my breath and I couldn‘t stop crying, and Alice looked panicked at my state.

―It‘s okay, Bella. We‘ll… we‘ll figure it out,‖ Alice soothed, but her words made no sense.

It was over, wasn‘t it?

What was there to figure out?

―Wh-What are you t-t-talking about?‖ I choked out. ―It‘s o-over, isn‘t it?‖

―Oh! Er… Yes. The danger Victoria represented is over,‖ Alice said pensively.

―What? Just… just say it, Alice. What now?‖

―Nothing… It‘s just… You‘re handling this all very well… Edward being a newborn vampire…‖

―What he is never mattered to me,‖ I said, swiping at my eyes, but the tears kept coming. ―We‘ll
just… go on how we were…‖ I trailed off, but the words stung my throat, because how could I ever

go back to not being able to have him?

Not being able to lose myself in him and not being grabbed and touched and kissed and loved by

him?

But I would.

I‘d find a way and I‘d learn to be grateful for the fleeting time we did have, when we were
unrestrained.

―Bella… you can‘t go back to that,‖ Alice said, like I was missing the obvious.

―What? What are you talking about?‖ I asked, twisting in my seat, my gut wrenching.

―He‘s… he‘s a newborn. You‘re his singer. Self-control around all humans will be almost

uncontrollable for him, but with you? It… it‘s impossible.‖

―What… what exactly are you saying, Alice?‖

―I‘m saying… I‘m saying it takes the better part of a century for us to be able to control ourselves
around humans. I‘m saying Edward had nearly a hundred years under his belt the first time he met

you… And that was still almost impossible… And, Bella, he wasn‘t even a newborn then.‖

―He can‘t… He won‘t… be able to…‖

―We‘ll figure it out,‖ Alice said again, but I couldn‘t hear any conviction in her words.

―He has to go back! He has to be human again, then! We‘ll just… We‘ll change him again,‖ I
rambled over Alice‘s stiff silence. ―That will work… right? That will work. That‘s what we‘ll do. And

we should do it soon -‖

―Bella.‖

―What?‖

―It doesn‘t… We‘ll speak to Carlisle.‖

Chapter 15.

BPOV

I opened my mouth to scream or cry or yell or protest or something, because this simply could not

be happening.

Life wasn‘t just allowed to be this cruel.

Not to Edward, anyway… Not to him.

He deserved good. He deserved happy. He just willingly stopped his beating heart. He just set
himself back nearly a hundred years of progress. He just… he just was entitled to so much more

than this.

―Don‘t. Just don‘t freak out,‖ Alice said. She probably already saw the meltdown I knew was

bubbling in my stomach.

She produced her phone and must have dialed home, because I heard her start to speak to

Carlisle.

―We‘re fine. We‘re all fine,‖ Alice said. Then her voice turned into a low, quick hum, and I couldn‘t

hear her end of the conversation, just bits of words I could make out.

She was explaining about Victoria, her army of three, defeating them.

I tried to focus on her words to distract myself, but it wasn‘t going to work for long, because I
could feel my mind spinning out of control.

I stared out the window, but I could only see Edward.

His eyes.

Black.

Gold.

Green.

Red.

I loved him regardless.

I heard an odd whine coming soft and slow from somewhere and only realized it was me when

Alice‘s icy fingers touched my arm, yanking the explosion from me.

―Bella -‖

―It can‘t be right! This is all wrong! How can… how can this happen? How can any of this happen?

How is it right that someone so good can be so damned? Why?!‖

―Bella, calm down…‖

―No! No. All I do is bring pain to him, and that‘s the one thing I never, ever want to do, but so help
me, God, Alice, I can‘t stay away from him. I can‘t! I‘d rather die. And, God, even in victory… even
when he can‘t be defeated, he loses. I lose. We lose… and we‘ve done everything so right… All we

want, all we need is to be together, so why is it so impossible?‖

―I don‘t have answers for you, Bella,‖ Alice said quietly.

―Because there aren‘t any. Because this is all unjustifiable. Because he deserves happy.‖

―It will work out. It has to,‖ Alice said, and I only just noticed the car was still, and we were in the

Cullens‘ drive.

―Take me back to him. I want to be with him. Take me back,‖ I said.

―I can‘t do that, Bella.‖

―I‘ll die without him. I‘ll die with him. Take me back.‖

―And what do you think it would do to him if he was the one who ended you?‖

I didn‘t have an answer, so instead, I let my body fold in on itself and I cried, because that was all

there was left to do.

―He‘s not… he‘s not coming home, is he?‖ I choked out.

―I don‘t know what he‘s doing,‖ Alice lied.

―Alice -‖

I was cut off by the sharp shrill of Alice‘s cell phone.

―It‘s Charlie. Pull it together, Bella,‖ Alice said. ―He wants to make sure you‘re okay.‖

―I can‘t - no, don‘t answer!‖

But she already flipped the phone open, then thrust it at me.

―Dad?‖

―Bells? You okay?‖

―I‘m fine, dad.‖

―You sound -‖

―I was sleeping.‖

―Right. I was just calling to check on you girls. I know you‘re alone over there, and I just got a call

from the station. There are some vandals out there tonight. The high school got trashed.‖

―Wow,‖ I uttered, trying to sound surprised.

―Yeah. Probably just kid stuff. I just thought I‘d call, make sure you two are locked in for the

night.‖

―We‘re fine, dad.‖

―Okay, kiddo. Get back to sleep. I doubt there will be school tomorrow, and I‘ll be at the station -‖

―That‘s fine, dad. I‘ll stay with Alice.‖

―Right. Night, Bella.‖

―Night, dad.‖

Alice took the phone from my hand and snapped it shut.

―Let‘s go see what Carlisle has to say,‖ Alice said.

I numbly got out of the car and let Alice lead me inside.

Esme hugged us both, Carlisle as well, and I couldn‘t even feel their icy arms.

Esme murmured words of relief, and Carlisle asked Alice a plethora of questions, and I found
myself drifting away, wandering aimlessly in a daze, and when I ended up in Edward‘s room, I
couldn‘t quite recall how I got there, but it was where I wanted to be.

I don‘t know how long I sat on his couch, but I do know I blankly read the title of each CD he
owned… twice.

I know that I cried and I know that the pain in my chest got worse with each passing second.

And then Carlisle was sitting next to me. Maybe he was waiting for me to say something or to

leave, as there was nothing for me here anymore, but I couldn‘t move.

―Bella.‖

―Can he change back?‖ I asked and I was surprised at how monotone my voice was, considering

the storm inside of me.

―When he was changing, I thought he wasn‘t going to survive. It all went very fast. Too fast. I‘m
not sure why - perhaps it was because it was his second time, perhaps he retained vampire traits

we overlooked, internally - but it was too fast, Bella.‖

―I don‘t - what does that mean?‖

―Well, when he was changing, it was like nothing I‘ve ever seen before. It happened right before

my eyes – quickly - but it‘s not so much what I saw that concerned me. It was more what I heard.‖

I imagined Edward screaming in pain.

I imagined him thrashing and I imagined him dying.

And I knew then, even if it were possible, I‘d never ask him to go through that again.

―It was… painful again,‖ I said.

―It was, but it wasn‘t pain I was referring to. Bella, I heard distinct cracking, snapping -‖

―What?‖

―His organs took too much stress. As they were transforming, they buckled under the pressure of it
all… His insides, all of him - Look, as it is, his organs are cracked, shattered. Now, as a vampire, of
course, this is insignificant. He doesn‘t need them… But if he were to become human again, his
insides would be shredded. They couldn‘t function at all. Not that they‘d have a chance to try - he‘d

bleed out before the change was complete anyway.‖

I stared ahead and blinked twice, trying to get the visuals Carlisle just planted out of my head.

He took my hand, and I felt something cool and wet.

He was cleaning my wound.

―He can‘t be near me,‖ I said.

―Edward has always had superior control, Bella. Plus, he has mastered this before - I think that

counts for a lot. I think he‘ll be able to function in society much sooner this time around.‖

―How soon?‖

―Keep in mind, our concept of time is much different from yours, Bella…‖

―Years.‖

―Possibly… And it‘s also true you‘re much more appealing to Edward than the average human, but

he does love you, and I think that will make a difference.‖

―Does he remember? Being human?‖ I asked, because I just had to know…

Because I couldn‘t be the only one to have those memories. I couldn‘t be the only one to ever

know the things we shared and the way we kissed and the way we made love…

―It‘s dim… It will fade more and more as time goes on,‖ Carlisle said. ―But he does fully remember

his life as a vampire. He does remember you.‖

―Carlisle… I don‘t have years.‖

He was silent, because he could offer no comfort.

―Can you… can you help me?‖ I asked, suddenly sure how to solve this.

My eyes searched his face, and I silently pleaded with him.

He was my hope now.

―Oh, Bella,‖ Carlisle breathed out. ―I love you like my own, but the truth is, you have a father… I‘ve

never just taken a life - not the life of a loved, healthy human -‖

―Please?‖ I cut him off, suddenly urgent.

Carlisle smoothed a bandage over my palm and closed my fist in his.

―Bella, let‘s see how this -‖

―No! You know how this will play out. Carlisle… I‘ll die without him! I will! So it wouldn‘t be you
taking my life, it would be you saving it. You say you only ever transformed the dying. Well, I‘m

dying without him! I am! So please, please -‖

―Shh, Bella, calm down.‖

―I can‘t. Not until I you say you‘ll save me. I need to know -‖

―You‘ve given me a lot to think about, Bella.‖

―You don‘t have to think about it. Just, please -‖ My begging was cut off by Carlisle‘s phone.

―She‘s here. She‘s safe… Do you think that‘s wise? The danger would be - … I see. If that‘s the only
way, I can‘t stop you… Fine, then. We‘ll be prepared.‖

Carlisle shut his phone and looked at me, thoughtful for a moment, and I saw a kind of hurt or an
ache in his topaz eyes. It ran deep, and I‘d never seen Carlisle look… lost.

―It was him. It was Edward,‖ I said.

―It was. Come on… He‘s coming home,‖ Carlisle sighed and helped me to my feet.

I couldn‘t help the smile creeping up on my face… He needed me as much as I needed him.

He couldn‘t stay away and he wouldn‘t hurt me, and all of these dead end decisions could be put

off for now… Edward was coming home to me.

I wiped at my eyes and felt my smile widen, then fade when I noticed Carlisle looking curiously at

me, and then he realized I needed clarification.

―Bella… he‘s coming to say goodbye.‖

Chapter 16.

BPOV

―Wait. What do you mean… goodbye?‖ I stammered to Carlisle, as he led me down the stairs.

―He can‘t stay. He doesn‘t want you to be in danger. He doesn‘t want to his family to be in danger…

If he slips up, if he can‘t refrain himself, our family will be implicated -‖

―Where does he think he‘s gonna go?‖ I asked.

―He didn‘t say. I imagine he‘s thinking Alaska, Antarctica… Somewhere more isolated -‖

―You have to stop him.‖

―Bella, in many ways, Edward is my son,but technically, he‘s not. I can‘t stop him from doing -‖

―Carlisle, you don‘t want him to go.‖

―Of course I don‘t want him to go and honestly, I do believe he has the strength to stay, but, Bella,

the decision is ultimately his, and he‘ll do whatever he thinks is necessary to keep you safe.‖

In the living room, I rushed to Esme, because I was getting nowhere with Carlisle.

―Esme, please. Please, don‘t let him -‖

―He‘s made up his mind, Bella. He‘s going,‖ Alice cut in softly, and Esme‘s elegant face distorted

into a pained expression.

―But… he could change his mind. I could change his mind,‖ I said.

―Bella, he believes it‘s the only way,‖ Alice said, and I heard the hopelessness in her voice.

―He‘s so stubborn, Bella,‖ Esme said, reaching a hand out to stroke my arm.

―I can‘t believe all of you! In the face of death, when other vampires are threatening your lives,

you have hope, but now -‖

―Edward‘s will is stronger than all of that,‖ Alice said.

―So is mine,‖ I retorted, and now my mind was made up.

He was going nowhere. Not without me anyway.

―They‘re here,‖ Carlisle said, and seconds later I heard the soft purr of the Volvo engine outside.

I started to run for the door, but Alice sprang in front of me.

―This isn‘t like before, Bella. You can‘t just go running to him. You have to move very slowly, let

him come to you, if he can at all.‖

―He won‘t hurt me.‖

―We don‘t know that.‖

―Alice -‖

My words cut off, because over her shoulder I saw him, staring at me through the huge glass wall.

His red eyes were boring into me, and he stood outside, frozen and tense, with his hands jammed

in his pockets.

He didn‘t move to come in, so I brushed past Alice and went to the glass.

―Bella.‖ I saw his full lips utter my name and I raised my palm up to the glass.

―I can‘t,‖ his lips told me.

―Please,‖ I whispered.

His eyes closed, and his brows furrowed in concentration or in pain or maybe both. Then he moved
forward, and his hand raised, so we were palm to palm with only the glass between us.

―Thank you,‖ I whispered, knowing he could hear me. ―Thank you for… giving it all up. For saving
me again.‖

―You are the one thing that‘s worth it. It was never even a decision, Bella. I‘d die for you over and
over again.‖

―Then… don‘t go.‖

He stayed silent, and his head bowed, so I couldn‘t see his face.

―It‘s harder to go than it is to stay, but for you, I‘ll do it.‖

―You can‘t leave me here,‖ I said. ―You just… You can‘t.‖

His head snapped up, and he kind of gave a small, crooked smile, full of weight and tears he

couldn‘t cry.

―It‘s all different now,‖ he said softly, and though I was reading his lips, I could faintly hear his

voice… Or I imagined it; either way, I heard it.

―It‘s all different, but it‘s all exactly the same. I still love you, you still love me, and that‘s all that

matters…‖

―No. I can‘t. It hurts… physically, but it hurts more knowing that I want… I want to kill you.‖

―Of course you don‘t. If you did, you would. This glass is hardly stopping you.‖

―I have to go,‖ he said and took a step back, and his hand slid down the glass.

―No!‖ I shrieked, before he took another step. ―Stay… Don‘t -‖

―If I could I would,‖ he said through clenched teeth, and his fists went to either side of his face in

frustration.

―You can‘t go without me, Edward. You can‘t! If you go… If you leave me here,‖ I said, panicking

and grasping, ―I‘ll die.‖

―No, you‘ll be safer. You‘ll -‖

―You‘re not listening to me. I won‘t survive without you. I‘ll die,‖ I pleaded breathlessly, knowing

what I was implying, but I couldn‘t feel guilty about it.

I knew it was selfish.

I knew it was a low blow.

I knew it‘d hurt him.

But I also knew it was the truth… and I was desperate for survival.

―Bella -‖

―If you walk away from me right now, you haven‘t succeeded in saving me. You‘ll be killing me.‖

―Why are you doing this? Bella, I‘ve given you everything and I know it‘ll never be enough, but I

gave everything I had. Don‘t… don‘t make me be your killer too.‖

―If you go, that‘s exactly what you‘ll be.‖

―If I stay, we‘ll both die. I‘ll take your life and then I‘ll take mine -‖

―Not if you can‘t. Not if I‘m just like you.‖

His eyes narrowed, and his lip pulled back over his teeth.

―Never,‖ he growled.

―It‘s the only way now, Edward. I… I‘m surrounded by death. If you stay, you say you‘ll kill me. If
you go, I know I can‘t survive… There are no other options.‖

―You will live. You will go on,‖ he said, slowly shaking his head, and his lower lip seemed to
tremble. ―You‘ll be okay, Bella. I want you to move on and I want you to be happy and have a full
life and have all the things that I could never give you. I need you to do that for me, Bella. For

me.‖

―I don‘t want those things. I only want you,‖ I choked out, and he took another step back, and I

felt my knees give out.

―Don‘t,‖ he mouthed, when he saw me land on my knees.

―I… I… am begging,‖ I heaved, suddenly sobbing.

Edward‘s eyes clamped shut, and his fingers tore through his hair.

He spoke again, but I couldn‘t make out what he said - my vision was blurred with tears - and I
couldn‘t hear his faint voice over my harsh sobs, so I just kept pleading, not hearing his futile

protests.

My forehead pressed against the glass, and my body sagged, and I just…begged.

I begged him to take me with him.

I begged him not to go.

It didn‘t matter. All that mattered was that we would be together.

The whole time he just stood still, staring and wincing and murmuring at me to stand up, but he
wouldn‘t say any words that I needed to hear.

And then I got angry.

―You saved me only to leave me here? I‘d rather both of us died together, Edward, because now I

die alone!‖

―Stop!‖ he thundered and took another step back. ―I know I can‘t fix it… I know there isn‘t a right

way, Bella, but this is the best option -‖

―You think it‘s the best option. I don‘t think of it as an option at all.‖

Edward slowly came back to the glass, his red eyes trained on me the entire time, and my heart

started to beat faster, and I thought he‘d given in.

He squatted down, so we were eye level, and put a finger on the glass, tapping it twice.

I wiped the tears from my cheeks, and my eyes locked with his.

―Isabella. I love you. You‘re the only person I‘ve ever loved or I‘ll ever love. You‘ve given me more
happiness in these last few months than I‘ve had in over a hundred years… You‘ll always be the

only thing worth living for… and dying for.‖

―I love you, Edward.‖

―Don‘t you do anything stupid, and if you have to, you can hate me, but I need you to take care of

yourself.‖

―What are you -‖

―Bella… goodbye…‖

He slowly eased up from his crouching position in front of me and got to his feet.

And I got angrier.

Still on my knees, I lurched forward and let both of my palms hit the glass in fury.

Then I did it again.

I banged and smacked my hands against the wall, until they stung and ached.

I grunted and screamed, until my throat was raw.

I fought like my life depended on it.

Edward clamped his hands over his ears, but he couldn‘t get away from my cries. He bent at the

waist and sort of rocked slightly, and through my fit, I saw his lips moving, but I just kept going.

Then he turned on his heel, and his back was to me, and he would disappear in a second…

With one strong, last, desperate pound, I hit the glass with the weight of my entire being.

―Hypocrite!‖ I screamed through the burn of my raw throat.

Everything was absolutely still and silent for half a second. Then he whipped around and stared at

me.

―You‘re a hypocrite! Yesterday you were human, no different from me, and you made the decision
to change, to become immortal for me. You didn‘t need my approval, you didn‘t even tell me you
made the decision - you just did! So why is it any different for me? Why do you get to make the
decisions that decide our fate, and I have no say? I‘m not the child to your family of vampires,

Edward. I get to make choices too, just like you did.‖

―Hypocrite…‖ his lips whispered, and he seemed to roll it around in his mind.

―You. You chose immortality for me, and now I choose it for you… You said you‘d die for me over
and over. Why can‘t I do that for you? Why can‘t you believe that I love you as much as you love
me? We belong together, and maybe this is the way it‘s supposed to be. Maybe we‘re both meant
for immortality, because I know we‘re supposed to be together, and, God, Edward, this is the only

way… So this has to be right. You can‘t just -‖

―You‘re right.‖ He shrugged and he looked like the fight and the life had been drained from him.

He sagged, and his head bowed and shook slowly, and I couldn‘t actually believe he just said those

words, that he‘d just given in.

―What?‖ I breathed out hard and full of hope.

He flinched and straightened up and searched my face for what seemed like a very long time.

―Bella… you‘re right.‖

Chapter 17.

BPOV

―I… I am? I‘m right?‖ I gasped.

Of course I knew I was right. I was just shocked Edward was agreeing.

―I‘m tired. I‘m tired of fighting this… And I could deny myself being happy if it meant you were
safe… I could live with your face haunting me for eternity… But I can‘t deny you anything. And
you‘re right, I am a hypocrite. And I never should have pursued you and I never should have
brought you into this world of no options and I should have stayed in Denali the first time I left
Forks. But I didn‘t, and here we are… And if the only way we‘re going to survive is to be together,

then we simply have to be together,‖ he said. ―I need you.‖

―You do,‖ I whispered. He needed me like I needed him.

―It can‘t be right, but I do… So here I am, saying yes, giving in to the most selfish, heinous thing

I‘ll ever do.‖

―No, no. It‘s not like that…‖

―Isn‘t it, though? Isn‘t it stealing a future? A soul? Taking the most precious life I‘ve ever known -‖

―It‘s not taking life, it‘s giving it. It‘s giving me everything I‘ve ever wanted.‖

He laughed a dead, humorless laugh.

―What is so wrong about this? Just… think about it, Edward. We‘ll be together forever…‖

―What‘s so wrong is you‘re losing every opportunity at happiness. You‘re giving up Heaven, Bella.‖

―First, I don‘t believe that‘s true. Second, you are my Heaven.‖

―That‘s ridiculous.‖

―That‘s my truth, so don‘t you dare say that‘s ridiculous.‖

He walked slowly back toward the glass, toward me, and stared into my eyes for a few quiet
moments.

―I wish I was stronger. I wish I could walk away from you,‖ he whispered.

―I‘d find you,‖ I whispered back, almost playfully. A giddy feeling was starting to swell in my chest.

―I‘ll go anywhere with you, Edward.‖

He wasn‘t leaving me.

He was going to stay… forever.

Edward gave a limp smile that didn‘t reach his eyes, and I felt bad that he felt awful… But not bad

enough to change my mind.

This was right. He just needed to realize it.

―When? I-I don‘t want to wait,‖ I said suddenly, worried he‘d change his mind at any moment.

―You… I… Jesus… Are you sure? Bella -‖

―Edward, I‘ve never been more sure of anything in my life.‖

―You‘re so young, Bella. You‘re so full of life and possibilities…‖

I placed both hands on the glass, my forehead pressing against the pane.

―You are my destiny,‖ I said simply.

His eyes closed, and he kind of leaned against the wall, then slid down so he was sitting.

I shifted, so we were shoulder to shoulder with the glass between us.

―What about Charlie?‖ Edward asked, and I hated the hope in his tone.

―Charlie will be fine. He‘s gotten along without me for -‖

―You don‘t think his heart will break? Renee‘s?‖

―I think… I have found what makes me happy, and that‘s all my parents ever wanted for me.‖

―They won‘t know that.‖

―Stop trying to argue, Edward. Her mind is made up,‖ Alice‘s voice came from above me, startling

me, but not Edward.

I looked up to see Carlisle, Esme, Jasper and Alice hovering around me, pensive smiles on their

faces.

―I see you two have come to a decision,‖ Carlisle said. ―I don‘t relish in the thought of doing this,

but she is right, Edward. It‘s the only way.‖

Esme came and knelt next to me, and her icy fingers stroked the side of my face once.

―I‘m thrilled,‖ she whispered, and there was a maternal glow in her topaz eyes, like a brand new

mother.

I whispered a ―Thank you,‖ and tried not to think of Renee.

Edward sprang to his feet.

―Where are you going?‖ I asked, skittish.

―To hunt,‖ he said, a hint of anger and guilt in his voice.

―You‘ll come back? You won‘t just -‖

―Of course I‘ll be back,‖ he sighed.

I nodded unsurely.

―I won‘t be long,‖ he said and then he was gone.

―He needs to hunt, Bella. A newborn‘s thirst is… Well, you‘ll find out soon enough,‖ Jasper said.

Carlisle extended a hand and helped me to my feet.

―We do need to discuss Charlie, Bella,‖ he said slowly.

I nodded and tried to keep my face calm.

―Do we… do we tell him… What do we tell him?‖ I choked out over the lump in my throat.

―Well, I think the best thing to do… would be if you and Edward simply disappeared. Leave a note -

teenage lovers running away together isn‘t that uncommon…‖

―He‘s a cop. He has resources to find runaways,‖ I said, and the whole conversation took a surreal

turn.

My mind separated from my emotion, because I simply could not imagine Charlie‘s face when he

read that letter.

―No one will find you if you don‘t want to be found, Bella,‖ Carlisle said. ―We have the resources to

make you virtually disappear.‖

―Right. Okay. I guess… I guess that‘s better than an accident or -‖

―He‘d need to ID the body if there was an accident -‖

―Oh,‖ I said, just to cut him off. Just because I couldn‘t hear all of that.

―I guess… I guess I‘ll do that, then…‖

―Bella,‖ Esme said, putting an arm around me, ―you don‘t have to do any of this. You can go home

right now. You can -‖

―No. This is what I want. I just hate hurting Charlie, Renee…‖

―I know,‖ she murmured.

―And… it‘s good. This way I can write letters and slowly… taper off, I guess… Just… lose touch…‖

It was quiet for a few moments, and I swallowed back whimpers and tears.

―The sooner, the better, Bella,‖ Carlisle said softly.

―So you‘ll be the one to…‖

―Of course. And I promise you, no danger. I know you‘d prefer Edward, but that‘s impossible.‖

―I know. I know.‖

―I anticipate a three day change, give or take a few hours, and during that time, Edward will make

arrangements for the two of you.‖

The two of us.

Yes.

It was right.

I did hate hurting Charlie and Renee, but this was my path in life.

I was sure of that.

―Do, uh… do you have a pen and paper? I think I‘ll start now…‖ I said.

Esme was back with a fountain pen and Cullen stationary, made of parchment paper, before

anyone verbally answered.

―Oh! Thank you,‖ I said, when she handed me the supplies.

―We‘ll give you some privacy,‖ Esme said, before lightly squeezing my arm, and then I was alone.

I sat right there on the floor and let my finger lightly drag over the embossed ‗Cullen‘ on the top

sheet of paper.

I was going to be a Cullen.

Then I put the pen to the paper.

I wrote to Charlie that I loved him.

I wrote, thanking him for being my father… And I wrote that I was so happy I moved to Forks to

spend the short amount of time with him that I did.

I wrote that I would finish school, and that Edward makes me happy.

I wrote that I‘d miss him and I wrote that I would keep in contact.

I wrote that this was right for me, and that being with Edward was the only thing I‘d ever really

want.

Everything I put on that paper was the truth… All the truth I could give him anyway.

I set the paper aside and wrote more of the same to Renee, ignoring the free falling tears raining
on the thin paper.

When I was done saying goodbye to my parents in the best way I could, I continued to write.

On a fresh sheet of paper, I wrote my date of birth.

I wrote of ballet lessons and finger painting and my first pet… Fleeting friends and how I loved the
dry heat of Arizona… I listed my favorite books and wrote about my grandmother… I scribbled
down a few of my favorite foods and wrote about how my mother met my father, and how she left

him… I wrote my history, because I was lucky, as far as these things go.

I didn‘t have to lose everything.

I‘d write it all here, in black and white, so there would be no lingering questions for me, so I could

always look back and know all about me.

I took most time writing in detail about Edward and me.

I wrote about the very first time I saw him.

I wrote the first words we spoke to each other.

I wrote about him coming through my window, playing baseball…

Then I concentrated very hard, as I wrote of his short time as a human.

We needed every detail of this.

Once I was changed, all of those wonderful memories - the best moments of my life - would be

dimmed, lost, and I needed them.

So with a fervor, I jotted down every touch, the taste of his tongue, the feeling of his skin on mine,

each softly whispered word that passed between us when we were wrapped together…

And when I finished a detailed account of our love story, I smiled a smile that harbored no regret,
just pure happiness… Because those pages were only the beginning of us, and it was already more

than I could‘ve ever dreamed of.

At the top of the last sheet of paper, I wrote ‗Edward Anthony Masen‘ and then I wrote every,
single thing he‘d told me about Elizabeth and Edward Sr. It wasn‘t much, but it was all that he had

told me. I‘d promised to remember those things and I did… And for him, I‘d get it right.

I realized those quick days when Edward was a human was not his fate, but more a small gift… A

way for him to remember, even though fleeting, his history.

It was a way to tie us together, to know all there is to know about one another, so when we moved

on, we‘d move on whole.

―Don‘t move.‖

I jumped slightly when I heard his velvet voice from across the room. Then I sat very still,

surrounded by the papers that held us.

I slowly raised my head, and he was there, staring at me, his head cocked to the side, not

breathing at all.

―Please… hold still,‖ he said, taking a step toward me.

Soon he was hovering over me, and I looked up into his blazing, red eyes, and he quickly looked

away.

―Edward -‖

―Don‘t… I don‘t want you to see me… my eyes like this…‖ he said, looking down at the floor.

―I love you,‖ I said.

He kind of nodded.

―Carlisle told me about your plan… for Charlie,‖ he said, trying to sound casual, but the pain in his

voice was palpable.

His body was tense, and… he was trying not to kill me.

―I think it‘s the best way to go,‖ I whispered.

He was quiet, and his eyes were on the scattered papers.

―Can I?‖ he asked, nodding at my letters.

―Sure,‖ I said.

They were scooped up and in his hands before I could gather them.

He read through the Charlie and Renee letters in seconds - his face twisted in an expression I

couldn‘t quite make out.

Then he flipped to the next one.

―I didn‘t know you had a dog,‖ he mused quietly.

―She died when I was nine… I just…‖ I trailed off self-consciously. It all seemed so stupid now.

Edward kept reading, slower this time, and I watched smiles and sadness flicker across his face, as

he read… me.

Without another word, he flipped to the next one, the one titled with his full name.

―Oh… Bella…‖ he kind of sighed and he read it.

Then re-read it.

―This… this was her… Did I tell you this?‖

I nodded.

He closed his eyes for a second, then opened them and read it again.

―Thank you,‖ he said and touched the paper to his chest, before folding it up and putting it in his

pocket.

―You don‘t remember? Telling me to remember your mother?‖ I asked curiously.

―It‘s… familiar? Or… Maybe… It‘s very fuzzy, but I‘m glad you did,‖ he smiled limply.

He looked down at the last paper in his hand, and my face instantly got hot.

Edward‘s eyes snapped to my face, the blood pooling in my cheeks, no doubt killing him.

―Sorry…‖ I whispered and moved to get up.

His face scrunched up, and his shoulders locked, and he put one hand up, signaling for me to give

him a second.

I stayed very still and watched the predator in him boil and recoil, over and over in a matter a

minute.

He was fighting himself, and I couldn‘t even bring myself to be afraid.

Finally, his eyes dropped back to the paper.

―You don‘t have to read that one. It‘s just -‖

―I want to,‖ he said softly.

Then he did, and I watched his eyes widen, then snap to me.

―Is this… We… Bella, did we make love?‖

My first instinct was to be hurt and insulted.

How could he not remember the most significant, best part of my whole life?

My expression told him something, because he flinched, and his eyes went back to the paper.

―I did these things?‖ he whispered.

I nodded.

―I can‘t… I‘m so sorry…‖ he said, his brow furrowed and his mouth fighting a frown.

―It‘s okay… It‘s not your fault you can‘t remember. That‘s why I wrote it down.‖ I shrugged.

―I can‘t believe I… I can‘t believe I let myself do that.‖

―You weren‘t one for self-control… And if we‘re being honest, I never was, when it came to that,‖ I

laughed nervously.

He shook his head.

―We were good? Together, I mean?‖ he asked.

―You read it. Those times were the best times of my life,‖ I said.

―I want to remember it,‖ he said, suddenly frustrated, the paper crinkling in his clenching hands.

―There will be more, and those memories you‘ll have forever,‖ I said.

He kind of half turned, still standing just over me.

―Were you okay? I mean, I -‖

―I was the best I‘ve ever been,‖ I said.

It was quiet for a few minutes, as I stared up at his profile, while he let this all sink in, then a sort
of smile flashed across his face.

―What?‖ I asked.

―I‘m jealous of myself,‖ he chuckled.

I let out a small, relieved giggle. His reluctance was fading, and this whole thing would be much

easier if I had his full support, his full blessing.

A determined, fierce expression suddenly played on his face, and then he was kneeling opposite of

me, still about a foot away.

―I‘d be lying if I told you I hated this completely… I do hate it, but a tiny, selfish, black part of me
is celebrating… All I‘ve ever wanted was you forever, and now I‘m going to have it. As sick as it is,
I‘m almost glad we‘ve been backed into this corner with no options. It almost justifies making you
immortal… And I hate myself for being so selfish, but that‘s the truth, Bella. If I could find a way to
leave you human and be with you, I would. But I can‘t, and so a small part of me can‘t wait… A

small part of me is dying to touch you unrestrained and with no pain…‖

―I want that too,‖ I said, rushed and lurching forward at him, excited that he finally admitted it.

He jerked back, his eyes wide in alarm.

―Sorry…‖ I said.

―It‘s okay… Just… give me a second,‖ he said, and I heard a low, instinctive growl in his chest.

The rumble slowed, then faded completely, as his face calmed, and his shoulders relaxed.

―I can‘t really… It‘s hard to control myself, Bella,‖ he said apologetically and not looking at me at

all.

―I know… And you won‘t have to for long.‖

He said something I couldn‘t quite make out, and then he leaned in again, holding his breath.

―We were together… as husband and wife…‖ he mused quietly, still marveling at the fact that we

were no longer virgins… and he didn‘t even remember it.

―We were,‖ I said.

One hand reached for mine very slowly, and I kept still, letting him move us at his own pace.

―I‘m sure if I would have been able to control myself with that, I would have. I come from a time

very different from the way things are now.‖

I blinked at him, clueless as to what he was getting at.

Edward leaned in even closer and gave a small smirk.

―You gave me all of you, Bella, physically, but I want more.‖

―You can have anything you want,‖ I said breathlessly.

His hand finally touched mine, and my face erupted in a smile at his icy touch - I‘d missed it.

―I know it‘s a little late for this now, and my body is fighting against my heart, and it‘s not binding
and it won‘t be recognized by others, but none of that matters to me. I‘m tied to you, and we have
nothing left to lose at this point, and I have to look forward and let go of this reluctance… I have to

make things right for us, after my human indiscretions.‖

―What are you -‖

―I‘m promising to love you for eternity. I‘m promising to keep you with me always and I‘m

promising to always keep you happy and safe… Isabella, all of these things I vow to you.‖

My breath caught on the word ‗vow‘.

This was… He was… We were…

I unsuccessfully blinked back hot tears, and my hand trembled in his.

―I‘m yours,‖ I whispered in one shaky breath.

―Do you…?‖

―I do,‖ I said, sure and joyful and quiet.

―Me too,‖ he said. Then he lifted my hand and placed his cool, feather light lips to my ring finger,
and he kissed lightly once, twice, three times…

And I didn‘t see pain or struggle, though there must have been.

All I saw was love and peace on his face… And I was sure then that my love for him was stronger

than the burning torment he must‘ve been in.

Edward pulled back, and he had a sheepish expression on his face.

―We‘ll have to do it for real some day. I know it‘s not legal… I know it doesn‘t -‖

―It‘s legal to me,‖ I said. ―It means everything to me.‖

―Me too,‖ he beamed, smiling brilliantly through his pain.

His head bowed, and his hair fell into his eyes, and I needed to kiss him.

I leaned in, and he leaned back.

―Please…‖ I whispered.

He shook his head no.

―Bella… I can‘t.‖

―Okay,‖ I said, because I had pushed and tortured him enough for the day.

I watched his eyes zero in on my lips, and he kind of rocked on his knees.

―Are you ready, Bella?‖ he asked, not taking his intense gaze from my mouth.

―I am.‖

He blinked twice, his focus always returning to my mouth.

―Carlisle,‖ he said in a normal speaking voice, knowing Carlisle would hear…

And he did, because a moment later Carlisle walked into the room.

―Yes?‖

Edward spoke, his eyes still trained on my lips.

―Carlisle… I think… I know we‘re ready.‖

Chapter 18.

EPOV

They laid her on the couch, and everyone flurried around, gathering needles and morphine and

pillows. And none of it would make a damn difference.

I stood, motionless, not breathing, just watching her watching me.

I was glad she implied death if I were to leave.

It gave me every reason to stay.

I was glad she would transform with or without my blessing…

Because this way, I‘d get my utmost selfish desire come true and I didn‘t even have to justify it.

Bella would be with me forever.

And I‘d love her with no burning pain and I wouldn‘t have to smile and lie and say I was happy

when she turned thirty or sixty…

Perfect as she always was, she set this up perfect for me… and we both knew it.

But still…

The guilt might kill me before the thirst would.

Ultimately, I was the reason her heart would stop beating.

Knowing that was Hell, but what was even worse was knowing I couldn‘t be fully disgusted by it.

I am the sickest sort of demon - I don‘t just drain bodies and leave them for Heaven, I take souls.

I am the lowest of thieves, the most selfish of my kind…

Because I want it all.

I want to taste her lips on mine in kisses and I want to drain her veins.

I want to love her and I want to drink her.

But I will fight to retain some sort of humanity, because I owe it to Carlisle and I owe it to Bella.

So I‘ll take the soul and leave her heart intact… I won‘t walk away.

Because I can‘t… And because it‘s more selfish to stay, and don‘t I always choose that path?

Bella moved too quickly off the couch and toward me, and the monster in me roared, and my
mouth filled with poison.

I struggled to keep my face calm and to fight the instinctive urge to crouch and pounce.

―Sorry,‖ she muttered and slowed her approach, then stopped a foot away from me.

She glanced at Carlisle, then back to me.

―I wish it could be you,‖ she whispered.

Carlisle assaulted me with alarming thoughts, but he didn‘t need to. I didn‘t even consider it.

―Bella… the point is to get you through this alive,‖ I said. ―I couldn‘t -‖

―I know. I know. I just… wanted you to know that.‖

I nodded and wished I could kiss her, and the demon in the back of my mind reminded me that

soon… I could.

―Can I come closer?‖ she asked.

And I could deny her nothing, so I reached a hand for her.

I held onto her hot skin as though it were made of the thinnest, most precious glass… And to me, it

was.

A violent tremor shot through me, and I fought to control it, as she stood still, not looking

panicked, like she should have.

―I‘m ready. I want this now,‖ she said.

If I wasn‘t in agony, I would have laughed.

In a few minutes, when the fire was spreading and burning through her, she was going to really

regret saying that. In a few minutes, she was going to wish she was never born.

And I had myself to blame.

―Will you be here? Will you stay with me?‖ she asked.

How could I?

How could I not?

―Bella, you probably won‘t know who is around and who isn‘t -‖

―I‘ll know. I‘ll know if you‘re here.‖

―Of course I‘ll be here… during the three days… but for the actual bite, it‘s just too dangerous.‖

―Okay,‖ she said, understanding I‘d already conceded all I possibly could.

―Whenever you‘re ready,‖ Carlisle said quietly.

Bella drew a deep breath and began to tremble.

If I was breathing, I would‘ve smelled the adrenaline… the fear.

Those brown eyes stared up at me, and I took in every lash, every splash of color, because I‘d

never see them again.

―It‘s right. It‘s good,‖ she said.

I couldn‘t fully agree, so I didn‘t.

Her hot, little hand squeezed my fingers, and I burned in every way a man can burn.

―Edward… we will retain humanity,‖ she stated strongly and simply, but I couldn‘t tell if she was

trying to reassure herself or me.

―I love you. I love you,‖ I said, because there was nothing else left to say.

―I love you. Quite literally forever,‖ she said and attempted a smile.

She was positively ignorant to the Hell she was walking into, and here I was, sending her.

I just had to touch her warm face, so I did, and too quickly she responded to my pensive touch,

and her arms wrapped around my waist.

I froze, and she didn‘t move from me - she held tighter.

The thudding of her heart made my stomach ache with hunger.

Her quick breaths coated my teeth with venom.

But it was her warm tears on my shirt that made my arms wrap around her.

She needed comfort and love from me, and I found it positively miraculous that the instinct to be

her husband overpowered the instinct to feed from her.

Maybe…

Just…

It had to mean something.

Something good.

It had to mean I was doing something right.

Carlisle‘s thoughts became insistent, and my pain was so torn, so great on both sides, I couldn‘t

put it off any longer.

I had to give something up.

So I peeled her off of me carefully and immediately missed her warmth.

―Go… go to him,‖ I whispered.

She blinked back the tears in her eyes, and her face, paler than normal, was completely stoic.

I was killing her.

I was making her mine.

But if I was honest with myself, it was the only thing I‘ve ever wanted.

So when she turned and walked to my father, and my insides cried for her scent and her blood and

her impending pain, I couldn‘t bring myself to call her back and stop this.

She was back on the couch, a tourniquet already around her thin arm and a needle poised.

―Hold my hand… Hold my hand… Just until I‘m out, then you can go… but hold my hand,‖ she
pleaded.

And I was across the room and holding her hand before she could take her next breath.

Ragged breaths from her and thick concentration from Carlisle, then my fingers fluttered to her

forehead, and I gently touched the thin membrane of her skin and I silently said goodbye.

―It‘s the beginning,‖ she said, knowing the look on my face.

―Edward, I‘m going to break her skin with the needle now,‖ Carlisle said.

I couldn‘t stay.

―Go…‖ Bella said, and I ran.

I ran, so I wouldn‘t end us before we even began.

I ran, so I wouldn‘t have to see her eyes widen in shock, when Carlisle‘s teeth sunk into her flesh.

I ran, so I wouldn‘t have to carry the memories of her cries with me for an eternity.

And when I was half way down the driveway, I froze.

I could still hear Carlisle.

I could hear him debate with himself whether he should start at her chest or her neck.

He was going to bite her, and I always knew that… but still.

A growl erupted in my chest.

My mind buzzed and shouted at me over Carlisle‘s thoughts.

I needed to protect her from him.

I was jealous of him - He would get to drink her…

I would kill her.

It should be me.…

All thoughts conflicted, nothing was conclusive, except for the fact that my running had changed

direction.

I didn‘t know if I was going back to kill her, to save her or to change her… I was just going back.

Fate would decide when I got there.

Because my legs were faster than Carlisle‘s mind, I burst back into the house before he‘d begun.

―Edward -‖ he started, and then Jasper and Alice were pulling my arms, and I was suddenly aware
of how crazed I seemed.

Esme hovered protectively over Bella, who looked groggy and confused.

I shook Jasper and Alice off with a hiss and a snap of my arms, because I could. Because I was
stronger than all of them.

I was unstoppable. No matter what I was about to do, I couldn’t be stopped.

It was a horrifying revelation.

I couldn‘t make myself leave - it was too late for that- so instead, I took the deepest breath I could

and…

Hell.

My eyes immediately focused on the discarded syringe on the coffee table.

Her blood, her scent was on there, filling me and making me an animal.

And she was too easy.

Just laying there with nothing but four vampires as guards.

I felt myself go into an instinctive crouch and I stared at the mouthwatering pulse on her neck.

It called me and teased me with each, tiny thump.

The burn in my throat sang to me, lulled me in, and I was going to have her.

Jasper grabbed at my arm, and with a slight shove, he hit the wall behind me, and I heard the

trickle of plaster rain down on the floor.

―Edward!‖ Alice shouted, and I snarled at her.

―Enough!‖ Carlisle shouted, and he was probably going to say something else, but he never did,
because in the next second he was on the ground behind me, and there was nothing between Bella
and me anymore.

Carlisle‘s thoughts were all panic and disappointment and hurt and anger.

I tuned him out, along with the rest of them.

Me.

Her.

That‘s it.

My tongue ran over my dripping teeth, and my mind calmed, knowing I was finally, finally going to
satisfy myself.

I was finally giving in to what I am, and my body blazed and rejoiced…

I crouched and inhaled her…

Then her head slowly turned, and her droopy lids fluttered… and she smiled.

―I knew it‘d be you…‖ she whispered.

I shuddered and heaved, and I couldn‘t look away.

I was poised to kill, and a part of her must have known that, yet she was smiling…

I could have had her then. I could‘ve drained the life from her and I could have easily justified it.

I could have told myself she had it all wrong - that she loved the wrong person and that she never

should‘ve trusted me…

But it turned out… she could.

All of the pieces of me, the indecision and the bloodlust and the love - all of that power suddenly

came together in fierce determination, and I leaned in to be closer.

I could do this for her.

―Edward, no, stop -‖

I turned and snarled at Esme.

―It‘s okay,‖ Bella mumbled, at peace, locked here with me.

Faintly I heard the thoughts behind me - they were going to attack…

I put a strong hand on one side of her neck and pulled her limp body half off the couch to my

mouth.

―I‘m sorry,‖ I whispered, because I never wanted to cause her pain.

―Now. Please,‖ she whispered back.

I breathed in one more time, then let my teeth sink into the warm, soft flesh.

Her body jolted and jerked, but my hold was too firm - my teeth stayed put.

Heaven erupted and flowed in my mouth - warm, the most satisfying, sweetest flavor I‘d ever

known.

My throat burned and ached to swallow her. Thick and red pulsed on my tongue, as blades and soft

touches tore and slashed at my throat, singing and shouting and chanting…

Drink.

Drink.

Drink.

But if lost that control, I‘d lose us both, and surely, there couldn‘t be a better way for me to die,
but I couldn‘t think of a more horrific fate for Bella.

She wouldn‘t die for my lust, and just when the warmth and the good was too much… Just when I
knew I was going to give in and end both of us, she made an odd noise, so different from the last

dying sounds of a deer or a lion…

―We will…‖ the gurgled whisper came.

Humanity.

―We will retain humanity.‖

Bella‘s voice rung in my ears, and behind my lids I saw the trust and the innocence on her face,
but I also saw her wise eyes.

She knew I‘d stop, even when I wasn‘t sure.

I kept my eyes open, not letting myself get lost.

I searched my mind for every touch and every word ever shared between Bella and me.

I was searching for the love that I knew was stronger than my thirst.

Window… sleeping… meadow… my guarded kiss against her carefree lips…

And then I knew I could never really take life from the one thing that gave me life over and over
again.

My eyes closed, as did my lips, and for a second, I knew I shouldn‘t move - I didn‘t want to lose
the control. So I rested my closed mouth at the wound I‘d just created.

―Get him off! Stop him!‖ Alice‘s shriek agitated my already overextended patience, and I growled
out.

―He‘s… he‘s…‖ Jasper was saying, but by then I‘d moved on to her chest, then quickly to her wrists,
finally stopping at her ankles.

And that was it.

My greatest dream and my most hellish dread was now a reality, and I saw to it myself.

I stayed on my knees, and my head bowed at her feet.

The room was still, filled with her gasps but nothing else.

―Edward… you did it…‖ Carlisle‘s voice came first.

Esme‘s hands were on my shoulders.

Somewhere in the bloodletting, Jasper must have left.

I spit red and pink, streaked with venom, on the carpet, hunched over and sick with dissatisfaction.

The venom still flowed freely, filling my mouth, and I spit again and again, until I knew she was

free from me.

―Make sure, Edward. Make certain there are no traces before you swallow,‖ Carlisle was saying, but

it was already gone; I already missed it.

I lifted my face and gazed at Bella‘s still form on the couch.

Beautiful, at peace… eternally mine.

There was no noticeable pain yet, and I stared at what I had done, while Carlisle listened to her
heart and counted her breaths. Then I leaned against the couch and sat very still and counted

those breaths myself.

I would continue through the night… and well into the next morning.

I would notice every slight change in her heartbeat and I would notice when each breath became
shallower.

I would hold her hand when her face contorted in pain, and I would feel that pain too.

I would speak softly to her about where we would go, and the things I wanted her to see.

I would take all of the letters she wrote about us, and read them back to her, and I‘d thank her…

And I would hum and I would cry quiet, tearless cries and whisper her name…

I wouldn‘t leave her side.

Chapter 19.

EPOV

The second morning of Bella‘s transformation dawned grey, but a sliver of bright sunlight had

thrust through the clouds, and I couldn‘t help but compare it to… me.

This was a dismal situation, but it had been my only option and now that it was happening - now

that there was no going back and she was half way done - we were finally done trudging uphill.

I spoke softly to Bella, while I clicked on the laptop, planning our move.

And then the thoughts started creeping up, seeping through my guilt, much like this morning‘s sun.

I let myself think of all the places we would go, and I let myself think of forever with her and when

I realized these plans would come to fruition, I found my lips twitching up into a smile.

If I could give her mortality back, if I could change it all, I would, but I couldn‘t, so I might as well

be happy. I got what I wanted… and what she said she wanted.

If we were supposed to be together, and this was the only way, it had to be the right way.

So that second morning I was more than resigned… I was hopeful for us.

My physical discomfort was growing easier and harder.

Her human scent was growing fainter by the minute, and to my great surprise and relief, I didn‘t

miss it.

I took more and more breaths, no longer nervous to breathe, and I found myself enjoying her new,

ever changing scent.

But… I needed to hunt.

Desperately.

The fire in my throat wasn‘t caused by Bella anymore, as much as it was the starving newborn in
me. I was picking up scents from the freeway, miles away. I could smell the wildlife in the woods,
just beyond the house…

I was burning.

But Bella was too and much more excruciating than me.

I could hold out for her.

At least… I was fairly certain she was burning. She‘d been positively motionless, and when I
panicked, Carlisle assured me it must be because the morphine was working… But still… she

must‘ve hurt a bit.

So I‘d hurt with her, and when it was over, we‘d find relief together.

―I know you say you don‘t like the cold, but it won‘t affect you the same…‖ I mused, whispering

over my shoulder at her still form.

I had been having a one-sided conversation for the better part of two days now, but somehow, I

just knew she could hear me. I just didn‘t want her to think she was alone.

―Besides, the colder the place, the more isolated it tends to be… We could go to Denali for a bit.
You could meet – Eh… Never mind. Let‘s see…‖

―How‘s she doing?‖ Esme asked softly from the doorway.

―Her breathing is slower. The scent is -‖

―I know. You know,‖ Esme said, ―I‘ve seen it before, but it‘s always miraculous.‖

Miraculous?

Never in a million years would I have used the word ‗miraculous‘ to describe the physical thieving

of a soul and the pain it brought.

I looked again over my shoulder at Bella - already her skin was chalkier than normal, her lips

fuller…

―Isn‘t it amazing?‖ Esme breathed, now hovering just over Bella. ―It‘s almost like a birth. There is

the pain, but in the end, there is new life…‖

I‘d never thought of it like that, but as I looked at Bella and thought of her words from before -

‘this is the beginning’ - I could almost understand what Esme was saying.

I watched Esme stroke Bella‘s hair back and let myself be comforted by her sincere thoughts - she

thought I did the right thing.

―Where are you planning to go?‖ she asked, too quiet.

I knew she understood we had to go, but it didn‘t stop her pain.

―Not sure yet… And Esme? I‘ll miss you too.‖

She smiled sadly, and her eyes stayed focused on Bella.

―You should take her to Isle Esme,‖ she said.

―What? I can‘t do that… It‘s very generous of you, but… I can‘t do that. It‘s yours, and we could be

there for decades.‖

―I know that and I want you to. Carlisle and I will come visit. We‘ll all come visit. It‘s not utilized

nearly enough anyway… and it‘s practically deserted.‖

―The caretakers -‖

―Have to be ferried in. I‘ll say the house is being occupied, no service necessary…‖

―I don‘t -‖

―Edward. I want you to have it. It would mean the world to me.‖

―Thank you,‖ I conceded quietly, because she feared it was the only thing she had left to give me

and she needed the connection. And Bella would love it.

I heard Alice‘s thoughts minutes before she actually appeared in the room.

―Esme,‖ I said, ―they‘re coming home.‖

Her head snapped up from her watchful Bella gazing, and a relieved smile flicked across her face.

I didn‘t have the heart to tell her what they were bringing with them.

Alice walked in with Jasper, and her eyes quickly found mine.

I gave a quick nod, letting her know I heard it all.

―How long?‖ Esme asked.

―Two hours,‖ Alice and I said at the same time.

I knew it would be hard to stay.

I knew I had to stay.

I couldn‘t leave Bella.

―Keep the human away from me,‖ I said and couldn‘t hide the disgust for my sister in my tone.

―Human?‖ Esme asked, her eyes wide. ―She… she changed? She found her singer?‖

―She hasn‘t changed,‖ Alice said. ―But she did find her singer.‖

―What?‖ Esme asked, the only one who didn‘t yet see the full picture.

―They‘re bringing the singer back here,‖ Alice said. ―She wants to be sure to repeat the steps

exactly. She wants us to be around to help her, to ensure she spares his life.‖

I numbly walked to where Bella lay, and picked up her now cool hand.

I wouldn‘t have any part of Rosalie‘s sick plan.

Esme left the room, full of contradicting thoughts, to call Carlisle home from the hospital.

―Edward -‖

―Keep them all out of here,‖ I said.

―Of course,‖ Alice sighed, then left the room.

I went back to counting Bella‘s shallow breaths.

One hour and forty-five minutes later I smelled them coming.

Rosalie and Emmett, both familiar scents, and the third - sugary sweet and fresh linens - and

beyond tempting…

And they were still on the freeway.

I held my breath and hoped to God they‘d be out of here before Bella woke.

Seventeen minutes and no breaths from me later, there was commotion in the foyer.

All of their thoughts screamed, their voices were hushed shouts, and it was earsplitting.

The agitation from my thirst, my anxiousness for Bella and my thick disgust for the whole situation
was starting to boil in my frozen veins.

I longed for the quiet.

Instead, I heard their thoughts.

Emmett was a torn up mess.

Rosalie was pigheaded and smug.

And everyone else just… hurt.

And the boy… the boy was dreaming of his mother and a mangy kitten.

He was sleeping.

I took a pensive breath through my nose, then gripped onto Bella‘s hand tighter, so she‘d keep me

here, so she‘d keep me grounded, so she‘d keep me me.

Then abruptly the boy woke.

His thoughts drowned out the others.

He wanted his mother. He wanted his purple cup and he was cold and he was scared.

They all were murmuring at the boy, but he didn‘t answer them - he was just a mute, six year old,

Vietnamese boy.

He couldn‘t say a damn thing for himself.

Jasper was getting agitated, I was getting agitated - it was too much. All of their thoughts were

chaotic and conflicting and loud, despite their hushed tones.

The boy was locked in his own mind, panicked, and his thoughts were a childlike cluster of

paralyzing fear.

I looked down at Bella, who must be burning, but looked at peace.

―I‘ll be back…‖ I whispered to Bella and laid her hand gently at her side.

I walked to the parlor, and there they were, huddled around the boy in Emmett‘s arms.

Jasper was trying to calm him, but the boy‘s scent was distracting him, and Esme was whispering

to him softly in his native language.

―He wants you to back up,‖ I said to Esme from the doorway. ―You‘re scaring him.‖

I turned my head sharply to Rosalie, who was staring wide-eyed at my red eyes, a thousand
questions in her mind before they made it to her lips.

―His name isn‘t ‗boy‘, it‘s Minh, and he‘d like to go home to his mother. Of course he can‘t tell you
that, because he‘s mute. It wasn‘t your comfort that kept him quiet all the way here, Rosalie. He
can‘t speak at all. How could you not realize that? He hasn‘t uttered a word since you snatched him

from his bed.‖

She stared at me, not hearing my words, just focused on my eyes, and I noticed Emmett look
down shamefully and with regret at the boy.

Good.

―He was never in danger,‖ Emmett said.

―Does his mother know that?‖ Esme asked rhetorically.

―He‘s going home,‖ Emmett said.

―Do you have any idea of the trauma you‘re about to inflict?‖ Carlisle spoke sharply to Rosalie, but

she still wasn‘t listening - her eyes were still locked on mine.

―He‘s freezing,‖ I said to Emmett. ―Get him out of your arms and into a blanket.‖

Then I turned to go back to Bella with Emmett, Rosalie and Carlisle right behind me.

―How did it happen?‖ Rosalie demanded at my back, as we trudged down the hall. ―Why are you a

newborn?‖

And then I heard a thought from the ever ethical Carlisle I‘d never thought I‘d hear.

Lie. Lie to her, Edward. Tell her it didn’t last. Tell her it’s pointless to try.

I paused briefly.

Emmett would want me to lie.

Esme would want me to lie.

God knows Minh would want me to lie, and if the boy would‘ve been in physical danger, I would

have… But as soon as Rosalie‘s mind was made up, Alice saw the success.

Minh would live a long, healthy, human life.

I kept walking, and the hesitation I felt at leading them to Bella vanished.

I swept in the room and silently resumed my vigil at her side.

―Oh, my God,‖ Emmett breathed out, staring at Bella.

―You,‖ Rosalie hissed. ―Where do you get off? You judge me for playing God, and look what you‘ve

done! You‘re no different from me, Edward.‖

I shrugged.

She was probably right.

―Rosalie, you don‘t understand the -‖

―You do the same thing!‖ Rosalie shouted at Carlisle. ―I didn‘t choose immortality, but I can

certainly choose mortality! Why does that make me awful?‖

―No one said you were awful,‖ Carlisle said, and the pain in his voice was palpable.

Her words stung him in that place in his cold heart that was always unsettled.

He was never sure he‘d done the right thing by any of us.

―I could lie to you, Rosalie, and tell you the change didn‘t last… but I won‘t. It would have lasted.
And later I‘ll give you the details, but I‘m busy right now, so all I‘ll say is I made a choice. Bella
made a choice as well, and now it seems you have a choice to make.‖

―There is no choice. I have to. It‘s all I‘ve ever wanted.‖

―I thought so too,‖ I murmured, but not necessarily to Rosalie.

It wasn‘t being human I‘d craved all these years… It was just finding the human part of me.

And now I had and I‘d have that forever… I was finally complete and I just now realized it.

It didn‘t matter physically what we were as much as who we were.

And Bella and I… Bella and I would love longer and harder than any two humans ever could.

―Rosalie,‖ I sighed. ―I just… It is a choice. Just keep in mind, a heartbeat isn‘t what gives you
humanity. I‘ve encountered more despicable, monstrous minds in humans than I have in
vampires.‖

―I want life. I want the opportunities that a human body offers -‖

―Without love?‖ Emmett cut her off, his eyes pleading and angry.

―I do love you, and we discussed it. You‘ll change -‖

―I won‘t. I won‘t spend my existence hunting for a human that may or may not exist. I was already
happy. And I‘ll never love anyone else, Rosalie, but… it‘s just… This is my fate. I knew it the second

my red eyes opened, and I saw your face.‖

Rosalie‘s stone face didn‘t waver, as she stared at Bella.

―This is what she wanted? She wanted to be soulless? She chose to be a monster -‖

―No, she chose me,‖ I said simply, for the first time realizing what Bella had been telling me all

along.

―What do you choose, Rosalie?‖ Emmett asked, his arms across his chest, his expression braced for

anguish.

Rosalie set her jaw, her nostrils flared, and before she could speak, Alice and Esme were in the
room, Minh between them.

―We think something‘s wrong with him,‖ Esme said, her worried eyes on the top of his head.

―He‘s terrified,‖ I said flatly.

―Rosalie, this boy needs to go home. Now,‖ Esme said.

Esme was right.

But still… Rosalie had to choose.

The only way Rosalie could ever possibly be happy with immortality would be if she would choose it

herself.

If they took the choice away, if they fought her over the boy, she‘d resent it even more.

I always knew Rosalie was spoiled, and somewhere deep down I‘d always suspected it wasn‘t so
much all she would never have that bothered her, more it was she wasn‘t the one to decide her
own fate.

This was her chance.

―Rosie,‖ Emmett sighed. ―There is no in between left. This is it. So, please. Stay. Stay with me.‖

Rosalie‘s face twisted, and her weight shifted, as she looked between Minh and Emmett, torn and

twisted, and I could see how much it hurt.

Everything she‘d wanted for the past century was here at her fingertips. This impossible dream was

suddenly possible.

But Emmett.

Rosalie reached down and lifted the boy underneath his arms and held him out, so they were eye

to eye.

―Emmett,‖ she said, still staring into the boy‘s eyes. ―It‘s all I ever wanted.‖

Minh twisted in her hands, and he had only one incessant, wild thought - uay khyem me.

Mama.

Rosalie brought the boy in closer, and I heard the instinctive growl, when her nose went to his

neck.

Carlisle, Alice and Esme tensed, sure to be ready to pull her off before she could drain him.

Emmett shuddered silently, but his mind screamed I love you, don’t go… I love you, don’t go… I

love you, don’t go…

―Not in here,‖ I hissed. My only concern would be for Bella now; I couldn‘t help Emmett‘s pain or

Minh‘s fear or Rosalie‘s sick psyche.

―I can give you anything else,‖ Emmett said quickly and desperately, and I‘d never even heard his
thoughts so lacking in pride, much less his actual voice. ―If you stay with me, have forever with

me, Rose, I‘ll give you anything else…‖

Rosalie‘s eyes closed, and Minh jerked futilely in her hands.

Her thoughts were bouncing and moving quickly back and forth, and in her mind, I saw Emmett‘s

face flash over and over - images of him hunting, running, laughing…

Then I saw what she imagined herself – blue-eyed and full bellied with child - and she ached for it

with more fierceness than I had ever suspected.

―I‘m so sorry,‖ she whispered and then she did the most human thing I‘d ever witnessed Rosalie

do.

Her lips went to Minh‘s neck, and she kissed lightly, then put the boy on his feet.

―I am a fool,‖ she hissed and then ran from the room, her mind made up.

Emmett took off after her, and Esme let out a cry of relief.

―That,‖ Carlisle said proudly, ―is humanity.‖

Chapter 20.

EPOV

1:13 am.

Alice packed up my belongings into suitcases and cartons. She somehow had found four suitcases
full of things for Bella and told me not to worry about a thing. We had everything we‘d need for the

island.

I sat next to Bella.

1:54 am.

Alice and Esme left to return Minh to his mother, where she would be so relieved and grateful and

stunned, they‘d slip out before she could ask questions.

Minh would go on and grow up, but he‘d never forget this day, and when others would insist it was

childhood fantasy, he‘d let them think so.

And on dark nights, when he was much older, I knew he‘d lay awake and wonder if he was indeed

crazy.

I vowed to myself that someday, somehow, we‘d validate Minh‘s memories.

I‘d find a way.

1:58 am.

Jasper left to go to Charlie‘s, Bella‘s runaway note in his hand. He will put on his best frantic face
and will explain to Charlie that Carlisle and Esme are out searching for us - they just found the
note… And then Charlie will stop calling our house and the fruitless, decades long search for his

daughter will begin.

2:04 am.

I sat, tucked and anxious, by the couch, by Bella, her human scent gone completely, replaced by

caramel and lime and morning frost.

She smelled delicious in a way that didn‘t burn my throat, only everywhere else.

2:07 am.

Her heartbeat was too slow to be considered a heartbeat - it was a shadow of a stutter.

I squeezed her hand, hard, because I‘d never done that before and now I could.

2:09 am.

There was no quick jolt of the heart, no one last, heavy pound… It just… faded out.

I wasn‘t breathing, and she wasn‘t moving, and for two seconds, our world hovered in between life
and death - we weren‘t going forward and we weren‘t going backward; I didn‘t know what we were

doing.

Then I was on my knees, saying her name over and over, and her eyes opened, and they didn‘t

flutter like a human‘s would - they snapped open, alert and red.

I stared at her, taking in the differences, and she stared back, as still as a vampire.

―Bella.‖

―Edward.‖

She knows me, I thought to myself, relieved and happy, and it occurred to me I hadn‘t realized I

was worried she wouldn‘t.

Her fingers went to my lips, then quickly pulled away.

―You‘re not freezing,‖ she said.

―I am… It‘s just… You are too now.‖

―I think I can hear the traffic from the freeway,‖ she whispered, and her grip tightened on my

hand.

―You can.‖

―I can smell wood. And metal. And carpet.‖

―You can.‖

―Edward… I don‘t need the air.‖

―No, you don‘t,‖ I said, trying to hide my smile.

She held a hand up in front of her face and made a fist, inspected her skin. She licked her lip, then

ran her tongue over her teeth, exploring her new body.

I watched in awe, not disgusted, as I expected I would be.

―I‘m just like you,‖ she whispered, a smile coming to her lips. ―We… we are together. There‘s

nothing stopping us! Nothing at all! We just are.‖

She was elated, thrilled, and it amazed me… Of all the things she should be focusing on - her

thirst, her father, her long gone, human life - this was what her thoughts were.

Me and her.

Together forever.

I guess she‘d been right all along… It‘s all she ever really wanted.

I smiled, and she smiled back, and I was grateful her human memories were dim… It would‘ve
broken both of our hearts if she was filled with regret for Charlie and Renee.

Bella put a hand on the back of the couch to help herself up, and before I could warn her, there
was a groaning crack where she had broken the frame of the couch.

She snatched her hand back and looked at me, wide-eyed.

―Did I just break the couch?‖

―It‘s fine… It‘s okay,‖ I laughed. ―You just need to learn your own strength.‖

―I‘m sorry,‖ she whispered, but she was already starting to smile again.

I held out my hand, and she got to her feet, and there we stood, face to face, red eye to red eye.

―Edward… we can -‖

And she cut herself off by lunging at me, lips first.

I gave in to the instinct I always fought and let my lips part, and I was kissing her.

She pulled away and looked up at me, and even though I wasn‘t ready to stop, I did.

―Kiss me here,‖ she said, pointing to her neck.

Confused, I bent my head and planted a kiss on the side of her neck.

―No, really kiss me, like you did my mouth.‖

I smiled and let my open mouth touch her smooth skin, let my teeth graze her indestructible

flesh…

―And here,‖ she said, holding her wrist near my lips.

I did.

―It‘s amazing… It‘s us… only free,‖ she said in awe.

Bella held my hand and pulled me to the window, and I stared at our locked hands in wonder; she

was literally pulling me along.

―I want to see out the – oof!‖

I caught her by the waist when she tripped over a suitcase Alice had packed.

―Are you okay?‖ I asked.

―Er… Yes. It didn‘t hurt at all… It‘s just… Shouldn‘t I be graceful?‖

―Well. You‘re still Bella and no doubt, you won‘t be as clumsy, but you were very clumsy. I guess
now… you‘ll just be slightly clumsy,‖ I offered, stifling a laugh.

―That hardly seems fair,‖ she mused, then continued to pull me along to the glass wall.

―Edward,‖ she said, very gently putting a palm to the glass, ―I can see for miles.‖

It probably wasn‘t miles, but it was a Hell of a lot farther than ever before.

We stared out at the black forest, Bella marveling at the patterns of leaves three hundred yards

away…

And then she saw her reflection in the glass.

A hand clapped over her mouth, and she inched closer to her own, red eyes.

―It‘s normal, Bella. They‘re red, because it‘s your own blood -‖

―It‘s… okay. It‘s okay. I mean, they‘re just like yours… How bad can that be?‖

―That‘s ludicrous reasoning, but I‘m glad you‘re okay with it,‖ I said, letting my chin rest on her

shoulder.

On the glass she traced her reflected lips, the outline of her jaw… She was silent, but I saw the

slight smile creep up on her face.

―You‘re still beautiful,‖ I said.

―Well, it‘s an improvement. I mean -‖

Her words cut off by a snarl, and she was out of my grasp and crouching in front of the window.

She smelled a deer.

I looked down at her and tried to pinpoint my own reaction to her instinctive position, so familiar to
me and so out of place in Bella.

Sad?

Happy?

Shocked?

Proud?

I was all of them.

―What is it?‖ she hissed, eyes scanning the woods.

―A deer.‖

―I. Want. It.‖

―Good, let‘s hunt -‖

She was already gone.

I tracked her down and found her standing a mile from the house, completely still in the dense,

black forest.

―I lost it,‖ she said flatly.

―We‘ll find more.‖

Then my throat burst into flames, and I heard a twig snap about sixty yards away.

―Do you hear it? Smell it?‖ I whispered.

She growled at me.

―Go, Bella. Get it,‖ I said, and she took off with me right behind her.

The deer was in her sight, in my sight. Bella crouched and pounced, and she was going to miss it
by a millimeter.

I jumped ahead of her and grabbed the animal by its hind leg, then reached up to palm the skull,
yanking it back, exposing the neck for Bella.

―Take it,‖ I said, holding the deer still.

She took a tiny step forward, and for a second I thought she was disgusted. Then she jumped on

it, making me fall back while she drained the deer.

When she pulled away, I tossed the carcass off of me and stood up.

―That was -‖

―More. Can we get more?‖ she asked.

―Absolutely.‖

We hunted for what seemed like hours, and she was getting better, but she never did manage to
actually catch anything on her own.

I sat in the moss and laughed and watched her kick a tree down.

I kissed her and was kissed in the silent woods.

She ran tirelessly, weaving through trees and marveling at her agility.

We played and teased and pondered our eternity of possibilities…

And then I smelled them coming.

Bella did too.

She just didn‘t realize what it was.

―The Volturi,‖ I hissed. ―Back to the house.‖

I instinctively bent, so she could climb on my back, but she was already running ahead of me.

We burst into the house, and I grabbed her hands. There wasn‘t much time.

―Listen very carefully to me, Bella. Aro is coming with two guards. Do not touch him. He reads
minds, but he needs physical contact to do it. If you can avoid it, do not touch him. Just… go with
whatever I say. He cannot know I was human. We‘re going to tell him Victoria lied to him for

revenge, after I killed James -‖

―Human?‖ Bella murmured, confused. And then a flash of recognition flashed across her face.

―Stay here with me, Bella, this is important. If it comes to a fight…‖

Then what?

She couldn‘t even catch a deer.

But she did have one advantage.

―If it comes to a fight, I want you to run. I want you to not look back and I don‘t want you to wait
for me. I want you to run. You‘re a fresh newborn. You‘ll be faster than all of them,‖ I said, praying

Jane wasn‘t part of the guard Aro was traveling with.

―Run?‖

―Run.‖

―Not without you.‖

―You have to. Promise me. Right now. Say it.‖

―No.‖

―Bella…‖

―I haven‘t come this far to just run away. No. No way.‖

Her jaw was set, and her eyes were angry, and there wasn‘t time to fight her stubbornness.

―It just can‘t come down to a fight, then,‖ I said.

I pulled her to me and pressed my lips hard into the top of her head.

And I knew then that even if there was a fight, I‘d kill anyone who harmed her.

There were two taps on the door.

―Stay quiet. And do not touch him,‖ I hummed low in her ear.

She nodded and held tight onto my hand, as we went to the door.

The decrepit, old thing stood cloaked in the doorway, flanked by Felix and Alec… and thank God, no

Jane.

―Ah, Edward,‖ he greeted, sinisterly jovial.

―Aro, welcome,‖ I said, stepping aside, inviting the menacing trio into my home.

Aro lowered the hood on his cloak, and Bella‘s hand gripped mine tighter, almost to the point of
pain.

Aro stepped closer to me, until he was inches from my face.

I stood stone still, while he made his assessment, and fought the urge to snap his neck, to sweep

Bella up in my arms and run.

―Just as I suspected,‖ Aro finally sighed, disappointed.

―Sorry to disappoint,‖ I said, an eyebrow raised.

―Yes… Well… it would have been an amazing breakthrough. I just had to come see for myself.‖

―Well, you‘ve seen -‖

―Where is she? The liar? The blasphemer? It‘s a serious offense, coming to the Volturi with such
wild accusations. She has to pay. I don‘t like being involved in such wild rumors.‖

―Neither do I,‖ I smiled, flashing my teeth at him, showing him the murder weapon.

―Ahh. I see. Well done… But now it seems I‘ve a wasted trip. Tell me, is my good friend Carlisle
home? I‘d love to catch up - it‘s been years.‖

―No. Carlisle actually holds a job at the public hospital,‖ I said. ―He‘s there now.‖

Aro‘s laughter filled the foyer.

―Amazing! Absolutely fascinating,‖ he chuckled, shaking his head. ―At a hospital…‖

―Yes, well, if there‘s nothing else -‖

―I assume this means Carlisle is still depriving himself of human blood?‖

―Yes. Carlisle survives on wildlife, as does his family -‖

―Who is this exquisite child?‖ Aro cut me off, ever eerily childlike and spooky.

―Isabella. My mate,‖ I said, bringing her forward.

Aro immediately focused on her vibrant eyes.

―Brand new?‖ Aro asked, beaming at her like she was a newborn infant.

―No, just a healthy appetite,‖ I said.

His eyes shot to mine.

―I see you‘ve strayed from Carlisle‘s way of life. My, my, this Isabella must be quite something.
She has you destroying your own kind and defying Carlisle‘s moralistic ideals… I‘m impressed,

young dear,‖ he smiled sickly at Bella.

It was easier to play along.

He thought I was lovesick, following the rules of Bella… He wasn‘t entirely wrong.

―She has definitely changed my views on our kind,‖ I said, again, not lying.

―Well, Isabella, perhaps you can persuade Edward to join us. We have so much to offer him… All he

has to do is serve us.‖

Bella smiled up sweetly at Aro.

―Right now the only one he serves is me,‖ she said.

I tensed.

Aro blinked once, and then his loud laughter filled the room, while he clapped his hands.

―Oh! I like you a great deal, Isabella! Tell me, would you be interested in joining us? Is there

anything I can say to convince you?‖

―Sadly, no, Aro. As you can see, Edward and I are leaving,‖ Bella said, turning to gesture at the

luggage littering the floor.

―Ahh. No longer welcome… since the change of diet?‖ Aro whispered to her, like they were sharing

a secret.

―Something like that,‖ Bella said. ―Carlisle isn‘t really comfortable with us hunting near his
permanent home…‖

―Tsk. I‘ll never understand why he goes against who he is,‖ Aro mused sadly.

―Yes. Well, to each their own,‖ Bella smiled. ―We do have imminent travel plans, however, so…‖

―Oh! Of course, of course. How rude of me. Please do consider my offer, both of you,‖ Aro said.

Then, just like that, they swept out the door.

She did it.

Bella just…

―You were amazing,‖ I said, pulling her close to me, letting the relief spill.

―I was scared,‖ she said, letting out a nervous laugh. ―When he thought I was some corrupting
person… I don‘t know… It just seemed like the way to go and -‖

―It was perfect,‖ I smiled.

She hoisted herself up and wrapped her legs tightly around my waist.

―Do you know what this means? That was it. Our last obstacle. And now we‘re just… It‘s just good,

for all of eternity,‖ she gushed into my shoulder.

She twisted out of my arms easily, taking me by surprise.

―Race me upstairs,‖ she said, taking off before I answered.

I beat her up the stairs and into my now empty room.

―Fine. You‘re faster. But who do you think is stronger?‖ she asked, her red eyes wide and playful.

―I don‘t know. You‘re newer, but barely, and I -‖

And then I was against the wall, her hands flat on my chest.

―Don‘t talk. Show me,‖ she grinned.

―I‘m not going to -‖

Her hands pushed up and lifted me an inch from the ground.

I laughed and spun around, so she was pinned to the wall between my arms.

―I‘m definitely faster,‖ I said, raising my eyebrows at her.

She ducked down and darted around my side.

I spun and caught her by the wrist, making her laugh and squirm.

Bella pushed me forward, and I let my weight push her back, then circled an arm around her waist.

She let herself fall back, and I bent to kiss her neck, her chest…

Then I was flat on my back, while she hovered over me, grinning.

―And now you can‘t push me off,‖ she whispered triumphantly.

―I could… but I won‘t,‖ I whispered back.

Her smile faded, and she leaned down, letting her hair create a dark, thick curtain around us,

where we hid and whispered laughs in between kisses.

Then the laughter faded, and our lips became more insistent.

She tasted all different, but at the same time all the same, all love and mine… And this time I

would remember all of it, forever.

I flipped us over and let myself take tiny bites that were now harmless to her, all over her neck,

her jaw, her shoulders… Her hands alternated flutters and scrapes down my back.

I held her jaw in my fingers carefully, then realized she wasn‘t going to snap.

Her once brittle bones and paper skin were now virtually indestructible - I could have her.

Really have her and touch her and hold her.

I took both of her hands from my hair and pinned them above her head. She broke the kiss and

smiled.

―Edward… you can‘t stop me.‖

With a locked gaze, we reached the fascinating realization at the same time.

She sat up and pushed forward, making me tumble back again, and she sucked and bit at my

stone skin, her teeth sharp and quick and perfect.

I got to my feet with her still on top of me and walked us forward, our limbs tangled together.

We crashed into a wall I knew was coming, and there was a loud crack when the plaster splintered.

Bella laughed once, quick and loud, before putting her venom coated tongue back to my throat.

My fist clenched the sides of her shirt, and I gave a yank, ripping it and then discarding it behind

us.

―You too… Yours…‖ she mumbled, her fingers quickly at the buttons on my shirt.

Half a second later my own shirt was shredded and in a sad heap next to hers.

Our chests came together, and we were both still for a minute, feeling each other and memorizing

each curve and contour.

Our foreheads came together, and suddenly, there was a flash of something… of this in my mind -

her and a not so pale me…

―Do you remember, Bella?‖ I asked her.

―It‘s the only thing I see half way clearly,‖ she murmured. ―Of course I remember.‖

―I think… I do too,‖ I said.

I searched my mind and easily recalled my very careful strokes on her skin in the beginning. I
recalled quick, fleeting pictures of my brown haired, green eyed self pulling her on top of me and

pushing inside of her…

We‘d had it all, except, of course, for this - to come together both strong and utterly unbreakable.

Bella dropped her arms from around my neck, and there was a pop when she tore the button from
my pants.

Her hand snaked down my pants, and when she grabbed me, my fist hit the wall beside her head.

Because I didn‘t need to behave.

I pulled my hand from the hole in the wall I‘d just made and, for half a second, assessed the

possible damage that would likely occur to this room.

I couldn‘t make myself care.

Bella hissed and gripped tighter, making my head slam against the wall, chipping it and leaving a

dent.

She started to stroke, and then I knew she was enjoying having me at her mercy, she was

enjoying pushing me.

She bit my collarbone, and I heard a distinct crunch, but my nerves were so focused elsewhere I

couldn‘t feel the pain it must have caused.

My heel went into the wall, making another hole, and she laughed merrily. Then I pushed her away

and crouched.

Her eyes widened, and her grin grew deeper. She darted, but I caught her by the waist and nipped

at the back of her neck, while she squealed and twisted.

I landed on top of her and while I tore the denim from her legs, her nails shredded the carpet -
good, I wouldn‘t be the only one answering to Esme about the destruction of her house - and then
I could smell the sweet venom coming, not from her mouth, but the only, other place capable of

secreting venom…

Her legs squeezed around my waist, and I kicked my way out of my pants, and maybe it should‘ve

been slower, maybe we should‘ve taken time to realize the depth of what this was…

But we didn‘t.

I pushed in, and she growled and ripped at my neck…

And of course I didn‘t recall every detail of being inside of her before and of course I‘m sure it was

amazing… But there was no way it was better than this.

Sensations I wasn‘t aware existed coursed through me and into her, and there was no human
blood that could match this. There was no Heaven that was better than this… This was everything

good, all wrapped up around me and inside of her.

When daylight seeped through the glass walls, we pulled apart, not satisfied, not tired, but

unfortunately, we had a private plane to catch.

I slammed the trunk of the Volvo after tossing the last suitcase in - anything that didn‘t fit, Esme

would send.

―Alice and Jasper will pick up the car from the airport,‖ I sighed, letting my hand lightly trail the
shimmering, silver paint.

―You‘re going to miss it?‖ Bella asked, laughter in her voice.

―I‘ll buy another if I do,‖ I said. ―Though that won‘t be for… a very long time. A car won‘t be

necessary - we can run around the island. There are no streets to drive on anyway.‖

―Huh. I wish Alice and Jasper were here. I‘d like to say goodbye. Carlisle and Esme too. Heck, even

Emmett and Rosalie,‖ Bella sighed.

―They‘ll visit… often, I‘m sure…‖

Bella nodded, and I knew it wasn‘t my family she was longing for.

―We could drive past his house,‖ I said slowly. I was fairly certain we wouldn‘t be seen, but in

town, with human scent all around… Still, if she needed this, we‘d make it work.

―No. No,‖ she said, shaking her head, making her deep chocolate hair sway heavily. ―It‘s easier this

way… And… I don‘t know… I feel like I have everything I need.‖

―Are you sure? There won‘t be another opportunity -‖

―I‘m positive. I made this choice. I chose you. I have you. It‘s all I need.‖

―Okay,‖ I sighed, opening the car door for her.

I drove us to a private hangar, where I would have to pilot a private plane to Esme‘s Island for

several reasons.

An airplane crowded with humans - it probably wouldn‘t end well, and this way we wouldn‘t be

tracked by the runaway unit of the Forks Police Department.

We would simply be lost.

Or more accurately, finally found.

Epilogue

Four months later I‘m watching the back of Bella, as she‘s crouched on the rail of the balcony, her

eyes scanning the sand, the dense forest off to the left.

Her hunting has improved… minimally.

I watch her head tilt slightly, and smile when she murmurs my name lightly for no reason, just to

say it.

I think about sprawling in the sand once the sun sets, when we‘ll read aloud the letters Bella wrote

about us, about me, Elizabeth and herself, as we do every night.

I think of the way her eyes will shadow and cloud when she asks questions about Charlie, and then
I think of the way she‘ll ponder, before she smiles up at me, still knowing she made the right

choice.

Even though each word on each page is forever committed to our memories, we read them
ritualistically each night anyway. I‘m not sure why… Maybe to hang on or to let go, maybe because
we miss them… or maybe because we don‘t… Perhaps we just do it to listen to each other‘s soft
whispers.

I think about singers and antidotes and how wrong we all had it.

Bella is indeed my antidote… but not in the obvious way. True, for a fleeting bit of time, she caused

my heart to beat and my eyes to be green, but that‘s not how she saved me.

She simply loves me… and that is what brings me to life.

That‘s how I found life, and that‘s what Emmett had finally made Rosalie see…

Ultimately, we are no different.

We are capable of humanity… It‘s just a matter of finding the antidote.

Bella snarls on the balcony, and her crouch tightens.

―Otter,‖ she hisses, then pounces from the edge, and I hear an earsplitting crack.

I rush over and peer the three stories down, panicked, though logically, I know I don‘t need to be.

Bella looks up at me and shrugs, kicking splintered pieces of the boulder she landed on.

―I‘m fine,‖ she sighs, then runs off in search of her otter.

I keep my eyes on Bella, and my fingers grip the railing, and I watch, amused and hopeful for her.

She is still her, and I am still me, regardless of our diet or our frozen hearts… We are us.

I shake my head, but not at Bella, at myself…

Because I was fool to ever let myself believe our kind bears no soul.

Soul was the way Carlisle was desperate for me to lie to keep his daughter near… and to keep Minh

from pain.

Soul was the way Esme anguished over the fate of her children, the way she hugged us and held
us tight.

Soul was Rosalie, sacrificing every dream and want for Emmett, for love.

Soul was born when the predator fell in love with the prey, when the need for her smile became

stronger than the need for her blood.

I was a fool to ever think we didn‘t possess souls.

We are souls.